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128mo1e

aita? not letting so take my daughter out to see people i don't like, on two occasions this week.

to sum this up i (34f) have been with my so (35m) now for 6 years, i have an older (13yo) son from a previous relationship, and we have a daughter together (2). we haven't always had the best relationship, mostly dye to his mother.my and my so's relationship improved after i said i was going no contact with his mum, and although he still has alot of growing up to do, he considerably has improved in the way that he now puts our family first. i havent had a relationship with my own family for a while. with my father the reasons are simple: he was abusive to my mum and when me and my son had to move in with him for a while a good many years ago he would get close and scream in my face when my son was right next to me, and petrified him, i've decided i'm much happier without him. a while ago so came home from mils to tell me he's been in contact with my parents, and he wants to have a relationship with them. i am the provider for the household, a year and a half ago me and so worked part time, but so quit with my blessing, this was great for us as i'd been offered a promotion into management and full time hours, and i've been the provider ever since and quite happily so. my so will go and see mil with our daughter frequently, i support this,as he feels she is one of his main sources of support. we've had issue before as he's allowed mil to have daughter overnight without my permission which he's stopped now. however, i currently have 2 weeks off, which is rare, and its during holidays which is rarer. so told me yesterday he's going to his mums sunday, i told him that's cool, but i'm really enjoying my time with my little man and little lady, so he's welcome to go have time just him and his mum. today he tells me he's taking daughter out for a few hours this afternoon ro see my dad. so i say no, he said he'd already said she was going. i asked him why he would say that when he didn't ask, and that was not a foregone conclusion given i said no to his mums just yesterday! he tells me that when he told me he'd like to take little lady to see my dad, he said that me and my son can make our own decisions whether we come or not and i said "fair enough". he's taken that to be an open invitation to take my daughter to see my dad as he pleases. he also said its not fair i get to veto what he wants, so i reminded him i'd rather he didn't take our little lady to see his mum so often, so if he gets to override this, it works both ways, he said he couldn't agree to that as "you'll just say no to going to my mums", and i said that would be fair, if we get to override eachothers decisions, that works both ways. funnily enough he's now not seeing his mum tomorrow but has gone to my dad's (on his own) so aita? i know his wants should be acknowledged too, but i want some consideration to my needs during my time off.

nta

nta. but i would seriously rethink this relationship. your so is letting everyone *except you* make decisions about your children. this is very bad. he also doesn't sound as if he's contributing much to your relationship. you are nc with your dad, but your so is blatantly disrespecting your boundaries. boundaries must come with consequences, and you may need to decide between your children's safety and the walking red flag you are married to.

>a while ago so came home from mils to tell me he's been in contact with my parents, and he wants to have a relationship with them. there aren't enough red flags in the world for this. there's only one reason he would reach out to *your parents* with whom you're nc behind your back and that's because he's looking to leverage them against you (the person who pays all the bills and puts food in his mouth). he wants his mom and your parents in his corner so he can control what goes on in your house with your kids. whether he's been manipulated by mil or your dad is irrelevant. they are all three lining up against you. you're the breadwinner, kick him tf out, file for divorce and get custody of your kids. be prepared for all three to line up against you when the custody hearing comes. document, document, document everything that's happening now. nta

128mvoq

aita for not helping a guy catch his dog

wife and i and our 20 month old kid were at the park. all of a sudden a golden retriever comes dashing towards us, stops to interact with us. i shoo him away as i don't want the dog around. the dog leaves and eventually disappears around a corner. there was no owner in sight. a guy came running around down the alley and asked if i had seen a dog, described the one that had come by us. he asks if i knew where it went. at that moment the dog re-appeared about 100 yards away and i pointed it out to him. this is where things get awkward. he asked me to help him catch his dog. i told him no. he seemed shocked that i said no. i told him i'd rather stay with my kid and i don't know his dog. he said he was desperate for help catching it. he asked me again and i said no again. i told him i already shoo'd the dog away as i didn't want it around. he gets incredulous and says if his dog gets hurt or not found he would blame me. he runs off to go chase his dog and calls me an asshole and other stuff as he leaves. i have no idea how the dog got loose. i shoo’d it away because i didn’t want a strange dog around my kid.

nta

nta you're under no obligation to abandon your child and help him catch his dog. if the dog won't come back to the owner, it's not going to listen to you either. it also wouldn't be your fault if the dog gets hit by a car. if anyone is to blame, it's actually more the owner's fault for not having his dog trained for recall.

nta. let's be charitable and assume the dog got offleash by itself and that the owner was experiencing temporary desperation-based entitlement. you had zero responsibility (nor ability since you were watching you baby) to help that guy catch his dog.

128mwex

aita for telling my dog to stop barking around my family?

i (28m) and currently living with my parents and brother. they have a great dog (smaller schnauzer) who has one major problem - he barks like a lunatic. his bark is also very ear piercing and loud. if you're in a car with him you have to get out because it will physically hurt your ears. multiple friends/family members have commented on how bad his barking is. also i've lived with this dog for most of his 8 years of life, so he is partly mine too as the (family dog). it's not fully accurate to say he's my parents dog as if i live far away and only see him once in a while. lately i've been having the dog come to me and lay down when someone gets home. only once he has stopped barking and is calm do i release him. this is an attempt to not only get him to stop hurting my ears, but also teach him that calmness and quietness gets you rewards. lately my dad has been ordering me not to have him stop barking. he gets mad at me when i tell the dog to stop or call the dog over to me to lay down. i'm not mean about it, i just calmly tell him to come over. my dad isn't having it. he gets angry at me and tells me "he is excited that x is home, he is allowed to bark. it's how he shows excitement." i told my dad that may be fine, but it really hurts my ears and it's not cool. my dad gets even more mad and says "this is my fucking house, and if i want my dog to bark he can. you're being ridiculous." so i reply "it's pretty rude that you think that just because you're cool with a dog's ear piercing barks right in your ear, other people are and should have to endure it. it's not that big of a deal to ask him to be quiet until someone actually walks into the house." sometimes he'll bark for several minutes before someone even comes into the house. so it's not like i'm forcing him not to see the person who just came in. as soon as they walk in the door and he's quiet, i tell him he can go say hi. it's basic dog training (i'm a dog trainer by the way). at this point in the argument, my dad came back with some stupid reply, so i just ignored him. the rest of the night he wouldn't talk to me. aita for calmly asking my parents dog to stop barking when i'm around my family members and someone gets home?

nta

nta. it's good for pets to be gently taught boundaries, which is what you're doing.

nta - schnauzer barks are the worst barks

128n26o

aita for pranking him back?

it's april fools and i was still awake at 2 am. my boyfriend (22m) and i (22f) were texting and he brings up a problem. he said he yelled something at his dean and now he's at high risk for expulsion. i'm half awake and worried for him. he says he has nothing to do but sleep and wait for what happens while i tried to offer him anything he could do to change the dean's mind. he reveals it was a prank. i got annoyed and said i'm going to sleep. the later that morning he texted me and i told him no more pranks. his response was "it's april 1, step it up" followed by a bunch of emojis. clearly, he isn't sorry for the prank but i'll let it slide since it's april fools. this evening, he went out to walk the dog and i thought of pranking him back. i sent a fake discord nitro gift (it was an image) and told him to check his discord. he was happy then he got upset enough to argue with me about it. i ask him why is it when he pranks me it's fine but when i do it, i'm a pos. he said he made the prank about himself so it doesn't matter while my prank was over a gift. we argue more. somehow i still ended up saying sorry and told him we could agree to not do pranks. he said his prank wasn't meant to hurt him but my prank did. he told me he's sick of the conversation. i don't reply anymore. i don't want to deal with him right now. aita for a pay back prank?

nta

nta. it's april fool's day, and if someone's happy to initiate pranks, they need to accept getting pranked themselves. he was disappointed the gift wasn't real. you were worried and sleepless the night before, thinking he was in trouble at school. neither one of these things, as pranks, are a big deal. if he's at all mature, he'll quickly get over it.

it's april first, he said step it up and you did. tell him to step up right back and deal with whatever prank he's got to dish back out. nta; he told you to step up exactly like you did.

128nxuw

aita for not asking family to restart business.

my great grandma gigi, ran a business back in the day. for my hometown it was a pillar of the community. she spent 40 years being a successful female, business owner, and a time where that was uncommon. when i was a kid, she was getting ready to retire and neither of her kids or their kids wanted to/could take it over, so she close the business. when she retired, she moved out of state to live with one of her kids. as i grew up, i continued to have a close relationship with my gigi. i would visit over the summer. and one of our conversation i told her that “one day when i’m older, i’m going to re-open your business”. seeing as i was 12 i don’t think she took me seriously , but in the back of my mind i’ve always had that on my career to-do list. my gigi passed 15 years ago and has always been an inspiration to me. i have the opportunity to re-launch the brand and innovate it so that it’s relevant to me. it’s not exactly what my gg did but it’s closely aligned. example: gigi had a restaurant called “good plate”and i want to do cookware line called “good plate”. i love my family, but we’re not especially close knit. everything i do will be in honor of gigi, but nothing other than the name (which hasn’t been used by the family in business for 30 years). my grandad is upset i didn’t ask permission and his sibling wants to be involved. aita for not involving them in the relaunch and not getting permission? note: no one owns the copyright/trademark to the name.

nta

nta. nobody wanted the business or brand until you decided to put it to use and invested your time, energy and money into it. the only person to ask for permission is gone, but i am sure would have loved your idea. honestly unless they are willing to take the same risk and put their money forth to help grow the business then pay them dust and keep going your way. the sudden want to be part or involved just reads as wanting control without any investment put forth.

nta but, you better trademark the name before they do because it would be a battle to launch afterwards. also, gray rock them so that they don't try to trash your business.

128o0cg

aita for not buying my brother a game with my birthday money?

so my (15f) birthday was a few days ago and my dad's side of the family didn't know exactly what to get me so they're just taking me shopping. when i told my brother (18m) this, he immediately tried to get me to buy an expensive game for him that i said i didn't want. i was too scared to say no at first so i kept saying maybe and he got mad at me when i finally did say no and now he's complaining to his boyfriend about how my grandma "has so much money and you can't buy me one game?" aita? should i buy him the game? i feel guilty about telling him no.

nta

nta. why should you spend your birthday money on your brother? it’s your birthday. your brother, on the other hand, just an entitled, selfish ass.

of course nta sweetie! your brother is an adult bullying his younger sister. tell him he's an adult and can go get a job. he's totes ta

128o12x

wibta if i take my mother to court over my college fund?

i have already posted this story but now i’m posting it again to find out if i listen to the comments would i be a ahole i (f17) am in a huge argument with my mother (f56) over my college fund. my family has been adding to this fund since i was born, and my late grandfather put $200,000 into it so that i could go to university without taking out a loan. however, my mother now wants to use the funds for her early retirement, and she's insisting that i get another job (i already have two) to pay for my college expenses. i have two sisters who are currently in university, and they never had to take out loans because my parents funded their education using their college fund. i don't understand why i'm being treated differently, especially since i've been contributing to my fund as well. my mother says that she's given me enough time to work and save money, but i feel that i'm entitled to the funds that were promised to me. i've called my mother an a**hole because i feel that she's being unfair to me. however, i'm now considering taking her to court over this issue. wibta if i pursue legal action to get my college fund? i understand that taking legal action against my mother is a serious step that could have long-lasting consequences for our relationship. however, i feel that i'm being treated unfairly, and i don't want to have to take out loans to pay for my education when there's already a fund set up for me. i'm open to suggestions on how to resolve this issue without going to court, but i feel that i have a right to the funds that were promised to me. am i the asshole for wanting to take legal action to get my college fund? https://www.reddit.com/user/goat-hier/comments/12917x6/update_on_my_college_funds/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1

nta

nta - just so i understand, your late grandfather (not your mother) funded this, correct? so it's technically an inheritance of sorts. your mother now wants to fund her retirement because of her poor financial planning with your inheritance. sounds like you have a strong case.

110% nta. you need to act quickly to protect your money before she gets her claws on it. if i were you i would start contacting lawyers in your area on monday and *definitely* do not tell your mother what you plan to do.

128o5ag

aita for refusing to kiss my girlfriend after finding out she kisses her cat?

character line-up: me (32f), and my girlfriend j (33f), and her cat ty (1f). let’s go. j and i were having one of our daily text conversations when she revealed something…unsettling. she made mention in the past that ty will “kiss” her (aka lick) and that this occurs almost everyday. i am an animal lover myself with two dogs, so i’m accustomed to the occasional “kiss”. what i didn’t know was that these “kisses” occurred mouth to mouth, and it completely ramped up my ick factor to 1000. we were joking that she kisses her cat more than me, after which she stated that i have been kissing “cat lips.” my stomach dropped and i asked for clarification, and alas, she actually allows ty to “kiss” her on the mouth. she went on to further state that i had cat germs all down my throat and have been for months. i told her i found that disgusting and unhygienic for a bunch of reasons, including the fact that cats clean their genitals and anus with their tongues, and i would not be kissing her if she was going to be frenching her cat. she told me i have a problem. i retorted that not wanting cat saliva and whatever feces or parasites she might have transferred via these “kisses” was not a problem, and that she was in fact the one with the problem for willingly allowing it to occur daily. that was 18 hours ago and we haven’t spoken since. the thought of kissing her knowing she has been mouth kissing this cat makes me stomach turn. aita for making such a big deal out of it?

yta

hmmm. i’m sorry- but i’m going very soft yta. i do understand why you get the ick. it is absolutely not a great idea to let the cat lick around your mouth or nose. cats are disproportionately high carriers of the staph virus, which can be transmitted via the nose and mouth. but look at this realistically. that cat cleans itself by licking its paws and rubbing them all over itself, or by licking body parts directly, then walks all over the house, furniture, windowsills, shelves. people - presumably including you - pet the cat, who has cleaned its entire body with its tongue. you too, have been surreptitiously cat-frenched. both of you, keep some antibac knocking about in the house, use it after petting the cat a lot or if the cat licks your hands. always wash your hands before handling food in the house. use reasonable common sense and whatnot. you’ll be dandy.

french kiss and a kiss is totally different on so many levels. with that said, i highly highly doubt she was “frenching her cat” as you stated. a french kiss is with tongue in each other mouths. she was not doing this as i honestly highly doubt it would be possible. a kiss is just a peck on the lips. also, i have learned a cats tongue is completely different than a dogs tongue. a dogs tongue is wet and sloppy. a cats tongue is dry and rough like sandpaper. this brings me to my final judgement. yta.

128o5aw

aita for visiting my parents with my newborn

for some context, i had a baby in january. crazy enough, my sister also had a baby a week earlier. she works commission and decided to take only 2 weeks maternity leave. i wouldn't do that but to each their own. but to do this, she moved from the east coast to southern california to live with my parents house for 3 months. she also has a night nurse. live in seattle area. i have 12 weeks maternity leave. my sister said she needed all the rooms in my parents house so she and her husband can work. my mom is helping watch the baby every day. my mom visited a week in seattle to help us. i didn't plan to come down originally, but got tired of the cold. i also would like to meet my sisters baby - my first niece or nephew. so i decided to come down and rent an airbnb for the 10 days overlap with my sister before her 3 month stay is up and she leaves. for some reason she is totally against this. i asked to hang out for easter. she is now saying that i'm so selfish to come a steal the time with my parents that she had planned months in advance and that i don't need help because i have maternity leave. that she's super busy at work and i'm stealing her childcare. alta for visiting at the same time? i mean i have a baby too...

nta

nta. go anyway. you have every right to visit your parents and let them spend time with your baby too. it's not like you're going to demand their full attention literally every second of the day.

stop talking to your sister about this. it’s not her house or her rules. assume she has post-partum issues that have been exacerbated by jumping into work two weeks after birth. extend her grace by not talking to her about your plans anymore. assume that some time down the road she will realize she was being an ah. nta.