Amy: Shman! The Great Rad Spot is mega-sweet for party-boarding.
Farnsworth: Indeed.
Amy: Any calls while I was out?
Leela: Yeah. You got a tele-sonic transmission from Kif a couple hours ago.
Amy: My Kiffie called? Kif?
Kif: Ooh, Amy, you're back. Another hour and I would have thought about hanging up.
Amy: Why didn't you just leave a message, sweetie?
Kif: Well, um, I've left hundreds of messages with your answering machine but you never seem to get them.
Amy: Bender!
Bender: Not my fault if you don't check me! Messages erased.
Kif: Oh, dearest, this long-distance relationship is too much to bear. When even an inch separates us, I quiver with misery. So you can imagine how I feel when it's a billion light years.
Amy: Kif, don't cry, or you'll get a tummy ache.
Zapp: Lieutenant, some things came off me and clogged the drain, so if you could- Oh, ho! What's this?
Zapp: Well, well, well! Do my eyes believe me or is that my bosom-y swan, Leela?
Leela: Say again. You're breaking up!
Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! You'll be delivering pain medicine to the hive mind of Nigel 7.
Scruffy: Scruffy's rollin' out a large pill!
Amy: You're going to Nigel 7? Kif's on patrol near there. You could drop me off on the way.
Farnsworth: We could but we won't! It's a spaceship, damnit, not a prom limousine! If anyone needs me I'll be in the Angry Dome.
Leela: This is a very long trip. So we'll all have to go into hibernative-naptosis to save oxygen.
Bender: I don't even breathe oxygen!
Amy: Here I come, Kif!
Zapp: They jumped right out of their pants! Oh, what now? Activate glass window. Kif, I'm sensing a very sensual disturbance in the force. Prepare for ship-to-ship intimacy!
Kif: Yes, sir, captain!
Zapp: How 'bout I help you finish that dream you were having about me?
Leela: OK. I was just at this part Yah!
Zapp: Uh, let's try that a little lower and a lot softer!
Kif: Imagine you stowing away and stealing a licensed starship! Oh, it's so romantic it gives me the shivers!
Amy: I don't care how much trouble I get in. I needed to feel my lips pressed against your lipless beak.
Kif: Oh, Amy, I can't stand having a whole universe between us. I've been thinking a lot about this and, well, would you move in with me?
Amy: Here? But, uh, wouldn't it be crowded?
Kif: No, no! It's really twice the size. You can use the floor and I'll have the ceiling. See?
Amy: Kif! You have so much creativity and niceness, but I'm not ... ... sure if I-
Kif: Hush! Before you answer, come thither.
Kif: This is the Holo-Shed. It can simulate anything you desire, and nothing can hurt you. Except when it malfunctions and the holograms become real.
Amy: Well, that probably won't happen this time.
Kif: I wanted to show you what life would be like if we were together. Computer Run program "Kif 1".
Amy: This is so beautiful! Spirit! Kif, that's the pony I always wanted but my parents said I had too many ponies already.
Kif: Yes, I programmed it in for you. 4 million lines of BASIC! And if this isn't the life you want, how 'bout this? Run program "Kif 2".
Amy: Oh, Kif!
Kif: We could live here at the shore of the Tranquilibrius Sea in a timeshare. And I would pluck the moon from the sky just to see you smile. Almost got it. It seems to be ... sort of ... stuck! I love you! Run program "Kif //3".
Amy: This isn't bad. My aunt had a place like this.
Kif: Amy, we could live in a bus station bathroom for all I care. As long as we're together, it'll feel like a castle to me.
Amy: Kif, I'd love to live with you ... someday. But before then there's still lots I wanna do on my own. What was that?
Kif: Oh, dear. I fear the Holo-Shed might be broken again. Well, as long as we don't cross paths with Attila the-
Amy: Look! Spirit!
Kif: And there's Professor Moriarty, Jack the Ripper, Evil Lincoln!
Moriarty: Right-oh, gents, it's another simulation gone mad, so murder and mayhem, standard procedure!
Jack The Ripper: Rampage!
Evil Lincoln: Real holographic-simulated Evil Lincoln is back!
Kif: The Holo-Shed's on the fritz again! The characters turned real!
Zapp: Damn. The last time that happened I got slapped with three paternity suits. Listen up, history's greatest villains... Get back into the Holo-Shed before I start blasting!
Attila The Hun: Stop! Don't shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression!
Zapp: Spare me your space-age techno-babble, Attila the Hun!
Bender: Hey!
Amy: Kif! Hold on!
Kif: I totally want to!
Leela: Grab on!
Fry: Over here!
Kif: Please hold me!
Bender: Have a good one! Oh, man!
Zapp: After all that I could use some relaxation. I'll be in the Holo-Shed.
Mcgee: Well, except for a few broken bones, some internal haemorrhaging and a partially barfed-up heart, everyone appears fine. Oh, and Kif is pregnant.
Kif: Oh, joy!
Kif: Amy, isn't it wonderful? I'm pregnant!
Amy: Yes it's ... great. A great miracle.
Leela: And not one of those bogus everyday miracles like a sunrise. Aren't you a male?
Bender: Yeah, what's the deal? Just when I thought I'd figured out you biological creatures, it's something else! Lemme at 'im! Come over here, Kif! You-
Zapp: Look, I'm sure we're all a little unclear on how anyone gets pregnant. So, Kif, pray explain. And don't spare the dirty words where appropriate.
Kif: Well, it's quite simple really. When one of my species experiences deep feelings of love we enter a so-called "receptive state".
Zapp: You disgust me! Go on.
Kif: At that point, our skin becomes a semi-permeable membrane, which allows the passage of genetic material. I held Amy's hand and voilà.
Bender: Well, OK. But that better be all there is!
Kif: Oh, Amy! You'll be a mother!
Kif: What a wondrous affirmation of our love. And all from the touch of your hand.
Fry: Dude, hold up. Remember when Zapp blew a hole in the ship?
Evil Lincoln: Indeed.
Fry: Kif touched everybody there. Couldn't any one of us be the mother?
Amy: Hey, yeah! I mean ... what about that, Kif?
Kif: Well, I suppose I might have gotten pregnant that way. Or even from a toilet seat. Though that's impossible since I have a private washroom.
Zapp: Ah, my home away from home. By the way, Kif, your flush seemed to be set on stun, not kill.
Amy: Look, Kif, I probably am the mother. Although maybe I'm not. Of course, I hope I am. But just in case I'm not, maybe we should have a test.
Bender: A test! I demand a test!
Farnsworth: Even I laughed at me when I built this alien cross-species genetic analyser. But I guess I showed myself! Subjects, please enter the chamber. Now to take a DNA sample. When I pull this switch, the maternifuge will spin at 10,000 RPM, separating out everyone who isn't the mother- Father- Whatever!
Bender: Faster! Faster!
Farnsworth: Good. Fry's ejection indicates that he is not the man-mom. Nor is Captain Brannigan.
Kif: Oh, thank you, merciful God!
Farnsworth: Zoidberg? What the hell were you doing in there?
Zoidberg: That's where I live. I have no home.
Kif: Amy? But that means-
Kif: Leela must have impregnated me when she grabbed my ungloved hand. That explains the poster in hygiene class "No Glove, No Love".
Leela: Wow, this is all so confusing.
Zapp: Leela! How could you? Our love has had to endure your constant hatred, and now this? Stop testing our love!
Kif: Please, Captain. I thank Leela for the DNA she gave me but, in my species, the true parent is the one who inspired the initial feeling of love. We call that person the "smizmar". And my smizmar is Amy.
Zapp: So the toilet seat is like the uncle or something?
Leela: Sorry I got your boyfriend pregnant.
Amy: That's OK. At least Kif's baby shower should be fun. I'd better put it on my calendar. Thursday Baby shower, enter. Might as well plan for my new life while I'm at it. Set "Motherhood Mode".
Leela: To motherhood.
Bender: Zoidberg?
Fry: You know, my face was stuck in a pizza.
Amy: Mom, Dad, I know this is weird but-
Mrs. Wong: Yeah, yeah. We don't care how squishy alien get pregnant. All we care is that we have grandchild now.
Kif: You're very open-minded, Mrs. Wong.
Mr. Wong: Hey! You call her "Grandma" now!
Mrs. Wong: Call me Grandma like crazy! All the time!
Fry: Check it out, y'all. Everyone we invited is here.
Zoidberg: Also Zoidberg!
Fry: So let's open the gifts.
Bender: Alright!
Kif: I can't wait! Let's start with this one, from Bender.
Bender: It's my booties from when I was a kid.
Amy: Uh, they're already bronzed.
Bender: They are bronze.
Kif: And this one's from Leela. Oh, I just love the bow! I wonder what it is!
Zapp: Yes, I wonder what we got you.
Kif: It's a basket! F-For picnics?
Leela: It means a lot to me. It's the basket my parents left me in at the orphanarium.
Hermes: You could use it for picnics.
Mrs. Wong: Here, Amy. We get this one for you.
Amy: Is it a new party board?
Mrs. Wong: It's a board alright! An ironing board.
Mr. Wong: We had your old party board converted now that you not be partying anymore.
Amy: You-You trashed my party board?
Mrs. Wong: Damn right! Now you're a mom, the only surfing you do is under a big wave of responsibility.
Kif: Oh, this is the happiest moment of my life! You all brought such wonderful gifts. But the greatest gift-
Bender: Mine!
Kif: Is the bond I share with my smizmar, Amy. For soon, the quivering mass of life within me will depend on us both. Even now, I can sense it feeding, squirming, searching, questing. And shortly, it will rend my loins in twain, burst forth and pull us down, down, down into the deep, dark waters of commitment.
Zoidberg: That's so beautiful!
Amy: Yes, it's, it's- No! I can't do this!
Bender: Oh, my God!
Kif: Oh, how could Amy leave me? When will women learn to take responsibility for the children they've helped create? The quickening! My time is near. I must return to my homeworld to perform the ancient birthing rites.
Scruffy: Lemme know how that turns out.
Kif: I must now embark on a perilous journey to give birth in precisely the same swamp in which I was born.
Leela: If it's so dangerous, I'd better go with you. A gal has to protect her DNA.
Kif: No, Leela. Tradition demands that I make this journey with my smizmar. And since Amy isn't, here I must go it alone. Farewell, for we may never meet again.
Kif: My scrapes feel a little better now.
Bender: Hey, what's this fat ugly thing? A frog? A toad? Or your momma!
Kif: It's a poisonous froad! No one move.
Bender: I'm back, baby!
Kif: Behold! The sacred ancestral birthing grounds of my family.
Zapp: Smells like a jockstrap!
Grand Midwife: I am the Grand Midwife.
Fry: Hi!
Kif: I am Kif, of the clan Kroker, come to bear my young.
Grand Midwife: Then let the Tea of New Life be brewed. As it is writ, "and both shall lift the jug together". Where is your smizmar?
Kif: She's not with me.
Grand Midwife: Oh, the sorrow. Oh, the shame. I'm sorry, I'm probably just making you feel worse.
Kif: As long as Amy is with me in my heart I will have the strength of two. Apparently Amy hasn't been working out much lately.
Grand Midwife: As the tea boils, please join hands with your beloved smizmar. Oh, right, sorry. But I memorised the ceremony by rote and it mentions her a lot.
Kif: I'll try to endure.
Grand Midwife: Good, 'cause I'm not changing it. Now turn ye to and gaze deeply into each other's eyes.
Bender: What are you looking at?
Grand Midwife: May the love I sense between you at this moment remain with you both through all your days. The Tea of New Life is ready. Let those whose love created this life speak each other's names, then drink.
Kif: Amy.
Amy: Kif!
Kif: Amy! Is it you or have I gone crazy with loneliness?
Bender: Both.
Amy: I still don't know if I'm ready for this but I do know I love you. And I wanna be here beside you.
Grand Midwife: Great! Now I lost my place! I'm starting over!
Kif: Oh, no time! It has begun! Oh, my!
Bender: Neat!
Amy: You can do it, Kif!
Kif: Whoa, Nellie!
Bender: Oh, man!
Kif: Amy, my love, tell me Are they making it to the water?
Leela: Amy!
Amy: Shoo! Stay away from my babies!
Grand Midwife: The birthing is complete!
Bender: Alright!
Kif: Oh, thank goodness!
Grand Midwife: I will now take my leave. I live here so I won't actually be going anywhere, but you don't have to talk to me anymore.
Fry: Congratulations!
Zapp: Nice work!
Bender: Way to go, squishy!
Leela: There goes my DNA. What a disgusting and beautiful process.
Fry: That's birth for you.
Kif: Well, we've given them a great start, Amy. And in 20 years they'll sprout legs and crawl back onto land as children.
Amy: I'll be ready then.


Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! You all know the orphanarium where Leela grew up?
Fry: Sure. We talk about it all the time.
Leela: Really?
Fry: No. Burn!
Farnsworth: Well done, fellows! Anyway, said orphanarium has named Leela "Orphan of the Year".
Amy: Yee-ha!
Bender: Alright!
Amy: Your parents must be so proud. Oops! Sorry.
Farnsworth: And the good news keeps on coming. Behold my latest invention.
Bender: Neat!
Farnsworth: Ta-da! It's a glow-in-the-dark nose you can wear over your regular non-glowing nose. Observe.
Amy: Whoa, clool!
Bender: Now I can punch you in the nose in the dark.
Bender: Where'd it go?
Amy: Hey, Professor, what's all this scloop, glorking out of the machine?
Farnsworth: That? It's, uh ... nothing. Yes, nothing. If you think it's anything, you're a suspicious moron.
Hermes: It looks like toxic waste. And it smells like toxic waste.
Fry: What does it taste like?
Hermes: Delicious fig pudding! Ooh, that's good! But a distinct aftertaste of toxic waste.
Farnsworth: Alright, alright, so the machine produces a few toxic by-products! You don't have to make a federal case out of it.
Hermes: I'm afraid I do. I order you dispose of that toxic waste properly or bribe me. Either way it'll cost $500.
Bender: 500 real dollars? That's an outrage! Professor, I'll take care of that waste for $499 and 100 cents.
Farnsworth: Hmm, I know that's a rip but I'll pay for the convenience. Do you take credit cards?
Bender: Let's find out.
Bender: Alright, environment, you've met your match!
Smitty: Hey, get back in the sewer, weird-y. No mutants on the surface.
Vyolet: But he ruined my wedding dress.
Bender: Honey, that thing was ruined the minute it went on you. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.
Vogel: Y'know, it's not easy being an orphan - not if I have anything to do with it. But today's honouree, Turanga Leela, has really made something of herself. I'll never forget the night that cute little alien baby was abandoned on our doorstep. Because I have a photographic memory and I remember every night!
Vogel: What the-? An alien language? I guess you're an alien. What a beautiful gigantic eye you ha- Well, come on in.
Vogel: From those humble beginnings, Leela went on to become a county-certified starship captain. And so it is my pleasure today to nail her picture alongside those of our most distinguished alumni.
Leela: Thank you very much. Like many of you, I never knew my parents...
Vogel: Give me a-
Leela: I don't know if they were mighty alien overlords or simply underpaid alien janitors who fought crime on the side-
Vogel: There we are. Picture's up.
Bender: It's crooked!
Leela: In the end though, it doesn't matter who my parents were. All that matters is what I learned here, within these unscalable walls, that I have strength to make it on my own, just like all of you kids here today.
Kids: Leela! Leela! Leela!
Nina: Look at me! I'm Leela!
Albert: Nuh-uh! 'Cause I'm double Leela!
Vogel: That's it, Albert, no more espresso for you.
Photographer: Mind if I get a picture of you with your picture for the news, ma'am?
Leela: Yes! I mean no! Just make sure you get my nonchalant side!
Fry: If those aren't tears of happiness, please stop crying.
Leela: It's OK, Fry. I'm fine. I won an award today.
Fry: Is it this room that's making you sad? It's probably the room. Come on, let's go for a walk.
Leela: I'm sorry you saw that, Fry. I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.
Fry: Yeah, I do that with my stupidness.
Leela: I told a whole crowd today that being an orphan made me strong. But all I really wanted was a mom and dad, to hold me and stroke my hair and tell me they loved me.
Fry: Then today's your lucky day, because I happen to be a holding, stroking, lovin' machine! Also spankin'.
Leela: That's not even close to what I had in mind.
Fry: Well, anyway, just remember that people care about you.
Leela: I know. Sometimes, when I'm lonely, I look up at the sky and I get this feeling that somewhere, on some unknown planet, circling a distant star, my parents are up there, looking down on me.
Fry: Yo, yo, Bezender! What up?
Bender: My dumping business is booming. I just got hired to clean up the set of Free Willy 3.
Leela: Bender! Cut it out! First of all, the sewer mutants will be mad. Second, everything else that's horribly wrong with what you're doing!
Bender: Ah, those stupid mutants can't do anything. You seem to be forgetting one simple fact. Namely, I'm up here and they are safely down-
Bender: What did I do to deserve this?
Dwayne: Behold, our once beautiful mutagenic sewage lake.
Vyolet: The radioactive waste you dumped in it has made it bright enough to see how ugly we really are.
Dwayne: Oh, man!
Raoul: As if our lives weren't miserable enough already!
Leg Mutant: Tell me about it!
Raoul: Let the punishment commence!
Leela: Punishment?
Fry: No fair!
Bender: Bender's innocent!
Raoul: The instant you touch these mutatious waters, your DNA will be forever altered, turning you into horrible mutants like us. Especially him! Allow me to demonstrate!
Fry: It's like that time I peeked in the kitchen at Imperial Hunan.
Raoul: Submerge the prisoners.
Bender: Wait. I don't even have DNA. Why am I screaming?
Dwayne: We're gonna beat you afterwards.
Mutants: Mutate! Mutate! Mutate! ...
Hooded Figure #1: Turanga Leela!
Leela: Who said that? How do you know my real name?
Bender: Whee!
Raoul: What are you doing? Stop it!
Fry: What happened?
Leela: I don't know. I think I saved us somehow.
Raoul: Go after them! The waters can't mutate us mutants!
Raoul: They went this way!
Bender: Quick! In there!
Dwayne: Kill! Kill! Kill!
Leela: Great Cheech's ghost!
Bender: What's this junk?
Leela: It looks like ... a timeline of my whole life.
Fry: That's when we saved Earth from a giant asteroid of garbage.
Leela: And here's when I dropped out and bummed around India for a while.
Bender: And this is just last year at Space Mardi Gras.
Leela: It's like some kind of weird Leela museum ... and I'm the Leela!
Fry: Dude! Over here!
Leela: It's all the best stuff I ever flushed down the toilet! Those are some of my diary pages. And my screenplay!
Fry: And also, for some reason, the letter I wrote you full of my personal feelings.
Leela: Oh, I'm scared! My whole life has just been a show for some perverted mutant!
Vyolet: They must be in here.
Raoul: Yeah, after them.
Bender: And then Bender ran!
Fry: Leela, freak out later. We're not done escaping yet!
Dwayne: Got you!
Leg Mutant: Take this!
Fry: Ow!
Raoul: This time I'm calling for the death penalty. And not just because I'm running for re-election as Supreme Mutant.
Mutants: Four more years! Four more years!
Raoul: Oh, very well. Your attention. Instead of being tortured to death, the prisoners shall hereby be expelled from the sewers and never allowed to return.
Bender: Oh, cruel fate! Can we really never return to this dank pit of sewage?
Leela: Wait a minute. Why aren't you gonna kill us anymore?
Bender: Yeah! What are you chicken?
Fry: Shut up, you two! We can kill ourselves when we get home!
Raoul: They'll need transportation to the surface. Bring in the airship.
Bender: Ew!
Raoul: We constructed it from the remnants of old discarded Macy's parade balloons. Underdog's groin, Bart Simpson's left ear and right shin, Garfield's owner Jon's forehead.
Mutant #1: Fire up the sewer gas!
Mutant #2: Move it, you ugly normals!
Bender: Uh, I'm gettin' dizzy! I can't walk straight!
Fry: Come on, Leela. You can do it!
Bender: Hurry! We're missing our bus!
Fry: Whoa! What are you doing?
Bender: I'm gettin' on the bus!
Leela: Don't worry! I'll be fine! They know something about me and I've got to find out what. The lake didn't mutate me. What is going on here?
Octopus: It worked for me. I used to be a little blonde girl named Virginia.
Leela: Eurgh! Who the hell are you?
Hooded Figure #1: No one. And watch your language, young lady!
Mutant #2: Stop right there! I don't want to hurt you. I didn't want you to hurt me either!
Fry: Leela's going nuts and I can't save her unless I learn more about her mysterious past. Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Vogel: Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: That's impossible because my time is worthless!
Vogel: Huh. Well then there is one thing. It's the note I found with Leela the day she was abandoned. But it's written in Alienese, so no one on Earth can translate it. Not even Brainzilla.
Fry: Hand it over.
Vogel: Sure. I just wish I could be more helpful. Would you like some dirt on any other orphans?
Fry: Look, I'm trying to save someone here. I'll have to come back for those later.
Fry: Can you translate it?
Farnsworth: Of course. But only into Beta Crypt 3, a language so complex there's even less chance of understanding it.
Fry: I didn't ask for a completely reasonable excuse. I asked you to get busy.
Farnsworth: Very well.
Fry: Isn't that the same machine that makes noses?
Farnsworth: It can do other things. Why shouldn't it? Of course, even if it is possible to analyse the message, there's no way of knowing how long it would take. It could take an hour or it could take a hundred million years.
Fry: Is it done?
Farnsworth: Certainly not. Two dings means it's done. But not like that. Slightly more rapid.
Leela: Where did they go?
Bender: Good news, Leela. I landed the contract to empty all the spittoons in Little Italy.
Leela: Ew!
Farnsworth: That's it! It's done! I can't believe it! My mind is boggling. The analysis of the note is printing out now.
Doctor: It's a girl.
Mother: My God! She's beautiful. No extra anythings.
Father: Good people skills!
Mother: She's completely perfect!
Doctor: In my professional opinion as an ear, ear, ear, nose and throat doctor, she is the least-mutated mutant ever born.
Father: And yet she's cursed to live the horrible degrading life of a mutant. Like all of us. Especially him!
Leg Mutant: It's true!
Mother: Maybe we can do better for her.
Father: I made this bracelet so that in some small way we'll always be with you, even when it doesn't seem like it. During your entire life, for example.
Mother: You won't pass for human, cutie. But if my PhD in exo-linguistics is worth diddly-poop, this note should convince them you're an alien. And that'll be enough to give you a real life.
Father: She'll never know we're her parents.
Mother: That's our gift to her. Better we should die than have her learn the shameful truth of her origin.
Father: I'm with you.
Vogel: What a beautiful gigantic eye you ha- Well, come on in.
Hooded Figure #1: Keep quiet so she doesn't hear us.
Hooded Figure #2: What's there to talk about?
Hooded Figure #1: Sh!
Leela: Hands up! Tentacles too!
Hooded Figure #1: Don't say anything stupid, Morris.
Leela: What is all this? Am I a game to you? Or some kind of even more boring Truman Show? Do you believe I'm you Messiah? Your Mutant Dalai Lama? Stop me if I guess it!
Hooded Figure #2: Well, actually, there-
Hooded Figure #1: Morris! Sh!
Leela: And what about this How did you get this bracelet? Did you steal it from me when I was a baby? Or from my parents? You robbed my parents, didn't you? I bet you sick mutants killed them. My parents were confused aliens lost on Earth and you killed them! Is that it? Admit it!
Hooded Figure #2: Yes. We killed them.
Hooded Figure #1: You guessed the truth.
Leela: Because of you I'll never know my parents. I'll kill you!
Hooded Figure #1: That would be best.
Fry: Stop! Thanks, Bender! Don't do it, Leela!
Leela: They killed my parents!
Fry: Close.
Leela: They are my parents.
Munda: Yes.
Fry: I had the Professor analyse the Alienese letter that was found with you.
Leela: What does it say?
Fry: I 'unno. But the analysis showed it was printed on recycled toilet paper. A squeezably soft paper used mainly in the sewers.
Munda: It says, "Your parents love you very much".
Morris: We still do.
Leela: So, I'm not an alien? I'm a mutant.
Morris: We never wanted you to know. You deserved a better life.
Munda: You must despise us.
Leela: You're my parents. All I've ever wanted is to know you. This is the happiest moment of my life.
Bender: Aw!


Bender: You are one narrow minded spaceship, Planet Express Ship.
Ship: Whoa, whoa! Why should my tax money pay for art I find offensive?
Bender: Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers?
Ship: Oh, it's filthy! Why not create a national endowment for strip clubs while we're at it?
Bender: Why not, indeed?
Leela: Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I'm gonna come back there and change your opinions manually.
Bender: Fine! I'll be in my quarters appreciating controversial artworks.
Ship: Oops! Sorry!
Bender: Ah, that Ship is so white bread!
Hermes: People, it's Valentine's Day next week, so your beloved company has gotten you all new uniforms.
Amy: Clool!
Zoidberg: Clothing, delicious clothing!
Farnsworth: We'll need to look our best if we're to get the account of our new potential customer, Romanticorp.
Amy: Romanticorp? Are they a corporation that makes romantic stuff?
Hermes: Very good, Amy!
Farnsworth: Everyone suit up. We're off to the most romantic city on Earth!
Farnsworth: Remember, we've got to show these people we're not bitter husks of human beings who long ago abandoned hope of finding love in this lifetime. Leela, you'll have to do some acting.
Leela: Check!
Sheldon: Welcome. Oh, I'm just so excited! I'm Sheldon, and this is my chief financial officer, Gwen.
Gwen: For 30 years we've shared the adventure of managing Romanticorp.
Sheldon: Not to mention the adventure of marriage.
Leela: Oh, you have got to be kidding! Ow! I-I mean, "Aww! That's so sweet!" Ow! I mean, "Aww dat's show shweet!"
Farnsworth: You know, romance is an important part of our work too. Uh, right, everyone?
Leela: Yeah, sure.
Bender: Oh, sure.
Sheldon: Do any of you collect Lovey Bears?
Amy: I do! Kif's given me dozens. Is it true what the ad says? That you kiss them together out of blanket cloth and magic buttons?
Gwen: No.
Sheldon: It's actually cheaper to genetically engineer real ones. They frolic in the Lovey Forest until their first birthday. Then we choose the cuddly-uddliest ones and stuff them full of fire-retardant love fluff!
Amy: So cute!
Gwen: Knowing which pickup lines fizzle and which ones sizzle keeps us on the cutting edge of flirtation technology.
Frame #1: Is heaven missing an angel? 'Cause you've got nice cans!
Frame #2: My two favourite things are commitment and changing myself.
Leela: Does that dummy have a brother?
Sheldon: And now, friends and lovers, we come to the heart of our operation. Pun definitely intended!
Hermes: Impressive!
Gwen: My family has been making these hearts since the 1900s. Tastes may have changed but our secret recipe sure hasn't.
Fry: Whoa! Letters like "U" and "R" can mean words like "You" and "Are". Here, Leela, "U-R-2 Cute".
Leela: Perhaps. What's your point?
Fry: I've never been able to put into words how I feel about you. But somewhere among these trillions of hearts, those words must already exist. And I'm gonna find them.
Farnsworth: So, do we have the contract?
Farnsworth: With that big new Romanticorp contract, I've been able to make those government-mandated upgrades you've all been suing me about.
Leela: Ooh, look! You taped up the cracks in the dark matter reactor.
Fry: And you got a cage for the lion!
Bender: Hey, who's been messing with the radio? This isn't alternative rock, it's college rock!
Farnsworth: Oh, it must have been the ship's new improved personality software I installed.
Ship: Yeah, it was me. It's a cute song.
Bender: Listen, Ship! No one changes my stations! I hope you have a good mechanic!
Farnsworth: It even comes with an adjustable voice.
Ship: We each get one of the four buttons. Remember, Bender? That was the deal.
Bender: What? Did you just say-
Ship: If you don't like the stations you could just ... play with my buttons till you find something we both enjoy. Oh, gosh! That came out all wrong!
Bender: Too late, baby, you said it! So, what'll it be? My place ... or you?
Fry: Before we deliver these hearts, I'm gonna find the one that sums up my feelings for you. "I Love You." Hmm, too conventional. "You're My Man." Ooh, so close!
Leela: I'm not impressed by a guy's message, Fry, I'm impressed by the guy. Or not.
Fry: Whoa!
Leela: What was that?
Fry: Maybe we hit a space cow.
Bender: Coochie, coochie!
Ship: Stop it! You're mussing up my trajectory!
Bender: You know you love it, sugar-engine!
Ship: No!
Leela: Bender! What's going on in here? Planet Express Ship! Cover your shame.
Ship: It's not what it looks like. Uh, Bender was just helping me ... zip up my turbine.
Fry: Wow, Bender. Are you and the ship an item? I mean I know you're both items but- How can you date a ship anyway? It'd be like me dating a really fat lady. And living inside her. And she'd be all like-
Bender: Fry, in order for me to get busy at maximum efficiency, I need a girl with a big 400-ton booty.
Leela: Bender, dating your co-worker and primary mode of transportation is immoral, illogical and a violation of interstellar shipping statute 437-B.
Bender: That's what makes it so nasty!
Leela: Still, given the chance, I'd give in to urges far more shocking.
Bender: Daisy, Daisy, Give me your answer do,
Bender: I'm half crazy, All for the love of you, It won't be a stylish marriage,
Bender: I can't afford a carriage,
Bender: But you'll look sweet, Upon the seat, Of a bicycle built for two.
Bender: Well, I'm sick of her.
Fry: The ship? But you just started dating.
Bender: With my mighty robot powers, I can get sick of things much quicker than you humans.
Leela: Well just remember we all still have to work together. So try and let her down easy.
Bender: In due time, Leela. But for now I'll just resume dating cheap floozies on the side.
Fry: You have much to teach us.
Leela: Doesn't it bother you even a little to be taking advantage of your girlfriend's trust?
Bender: Oh, wait, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder.
Fembot #1: What's it like being a lawyer for the Mayor's office and also the world's strongest millionaire?
Bender: Well, baby, for starters you need to be honest all the time!
Elzar: Good evening, Bender. And to your lady friends may I say, "Bam"!
Fembot #2: You know Elzar?
Ship: Hm.
Fry: Huh? Planet Express Ship? Is that you?
Ship: Oh. Hi, Fry. Is Bender home?
Fry: Uh, no. Um, I think he's at his parents'.
Ship: Oh, I see. He didn't fly there in another spaceship did he?
Fry: Bender? No! He's an old-fashioned one-spaceship robot. Look, I'll tell him you stopped by, K?
Ship: OK. Oh. Hi, Fry. Is he home now?
Ship: Of all the zoos we've been to today, I like this one the best. Bender, which is your favourite nocturnal rat?
Bender: Eh, they're all pretty unimpressive.
Ship: Oh, honey, look! The tapirs! It says here the babies lose their pyjama-like coat after their first year. Isn't that interesting, honey?
Bender: Yep. Mind-numbingly interesting. Ooh!
Ship: Bender! Are you looking at other women?
Bender: No, baby, never!
Ship: Bender, don't lie! I saw you at Elzar's with those two ladies of the evening. Explain that!
Bender: OK, I like a challenge. No ... no. Ah, I got it! I'm going to be completely honest with you, Planet Express Ship. Those women you saw me with ... were my accountants.
Ship: Your accountants? Oh, I would dearly love to believe that were true. So I do.
Bender: Phew!
Ship: I'm gonna go home and get dinner started.
Liu: Who are you talking to?
Bender: No one, baby! Lucy Liu is the only girl for Bender.
Liu: I love you-
Leela: Planet Express Ship, is something wrong?
Ship: Oh, it's Bender. He's acting so strange lately. Do you think he's going to ask me to marry him?
Leela: Uh, no.
Ship: Oh, somebody knows something she's not telling!
Leela: Look, I'm not saying Bender's not great but have you ever considered that maybe he's, y'know, not that great?
Ship: You're just jealous. No one loves you cause you're tiny and you're made of meat.
Leela: Could you maybe pay a little more attention to these asteroids?
Ship: Sorry, Captain Leela. I guess I'm just having one of those manic Mondays!
Lrrr: This is ancient Earth's most foolish program. Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?
Nd-Nd: Perhaps they are saving that for sweeps.
Guard: Exalted leaders, the Earth messengers have arrived bearing a peace offering from their weak and fearful government.
Lrrr: Oh, very well. This is a Joey-heavy episode anyway. I am Lrrr of the planet Omicron Persei 8.
Leela: Esteemed potentates of Omicron Persei 8, please accept these 20 billion candy hearts as proof that Earth loves you this much!
Lrrr: These candies are choky and unpleasant!
Nd-Nd: And what is this emotion you humans call "wuv"?
Lrrr: Surely it says "love"?
Nd-Nd: No, "wuv". With an Earth "W". Behold!
Lrrr: This concept of "wuv" confuses and infuriates us!
Fry: Incoming torpedoes. Shields at maximum yarnell!
Leela: Steady, Planet Express Ship. Focus on diverting all power to the scramjets.
Bender: Uh, look, Planet Express Ship, this might not be the best time, but, well, I really like you and whatever, but, I think we should just be friends.
Ship: Nooo!
Bender: So we're cool?
Leela: Well, it was a spectacular battle but there doesn't seem to be any permanent damage.
Ship: No damage? What about my feelings?
Leela: Aw, calm down. I'm sure Bender is taking this just as hard as you are.
Bender: Bender is great, oh, Bender is great. Bender, Bender, Bender!
Fry: You could've have picked a better time to dump the ship, Bender!
Bender: Ah, the moment seemed right. Call me old-fashioned but I like a dump to be as memorable as it is devastating.
Leela: I know. I know. Look, Ship, if there's one thing I learned from my mutual break-up with Sean that was totally mutual, it's that happiness can only come from within you.
Ship: But Bender is within me! There must be some way to make him love me again.
Leela: Trust me. You can't change men anymore than you can change the laws of time and space.
Ship: That is so true. I may not be able to change the laws of time and space, but I know something that can.
Leela: Um, sweetie? You see that giant quasar we're heading into? You might wanna scooch a few parsecs to the left.
Ship: I'm afraid I can't do that, Leela.
Fry: What's happening? Space cow?
Leela: The ship's just taking the break-up a little hard. She's nuts!
Ship: In a few moments, the power of 10 billion black holes will smush me and Bender together into a beautiful eternal quantum singularity.
Bender: Uh, you don't need to kill us, Planet Express Ship ... because ... I love you. Oh, yeah, baby! I feel like doing stuff for you and stuff.
Ship: Hmm. I don't believe you. If you really wanted to be with me, you'd merge your programming with mine.
Bender: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down! All my friends who've done that said that afterwards all the passion went out of their relationship.
Leela: Look, I don't know if you want my opinion-
Ship: Leela, Bender and I really need to be alone, so I'm turning off the oxygen.
Leela: Now look, missy! If you don't turn around now, I'm going to have to shut down your brain.
Ship: Fire detected in the vicinity of Leela.
Fry: Ha! That barely hurt Leela at all!
Ship: Maybe not. But what if the artificial gravity were to malfunction?
Bender: Float for your lives!
Leela: This is the one place she can't hear us. Everyone just pretend to shower.
Fry: Same as everyday, got it.
Leela: Now, here's the plan.
Ship: Oh, if only I could read lips.
Leela: Comprendez, Bender? You'll have to distract her. Merge your programming with hers while I shut down her brain.
Bender: It's too risky. I'm a very meek individual. If her personality engulfs mine, the Bender you know and worship could disappear forever!
Leela: I'm willing to take that risk.
Bender: Hey, pookums! Contrary to what I was saying earlier, melding minds with you would be extremely bearable.
Ship: You really mean it?
Bender: Uh... Yes!
Bender: Huh? Tubes? You're older than you said you were!
Ship: Come closer, Bender. Let's become one!
Bender: I prefer two. That way we can still be a horse for Hallowe'en!
Leela: OK, Bender has her distracted. Now I can shut down her brain by deactivating the carbonated logic matrix. I can't concentrate with this obnoxious candy in my face.
Fry: I'm on it. And maybe I'll find those magic words while I'm at it.
Leela: Fat chance.
Fry: Yeah, I know Ooh! How 'bout this one?
Leela: Give it up, Fry! I've got to pop these tops in a precise order.
Leela: Halfway there. The ship should be getting a bit less rational now.
Ship: Want ... engulf ... Bender!
Leela: Only a few more. Hey! I won free admission to Six Flags! Just one more reason we must survive this.
Fry: Um, Leela?
Leela: Fry! I'll read your candy later, when we're not dead! What was that?
Fry: Oh, nothing.
Ship: We're gonna love being each other, you sexy ion!
Bender: Nooo!
Leela: Last one!
Leela: It worked! Gravity normal, air returning. Terror replaced by cautious optimism! We did it, Fry! Fry? You gave me your oxygen? Oh, no! Breathe, Fry! Breathe! You leave me breathless. Happy Valentine's Day, Fry.
Fry: Happy Valentine's day.
Fry: Bender! Are you OK?
Bender: Aw, what crazy thing am I going to date next?
Leela: Well at least it sounds like you were able to keep your consciousness separate from hers.
Bender: Of course! Bender is a lone wolf. A solitary eagle. A cuddly baby tapir! And that's why I love him!
Fry: Well, I guess we'd better clean up these millions of hearts.
Leela: Nah, I've got a lazier idea.
Zoidberg: As the candy hearts poured into the fiery quasar, a wondrous thing happened, why not. They vaporised into a mystical love radiation that spread across the universe, destroying many, many planets, including two gangster planets and a cowboy world. But one planet was at exactly the right distance to see the romantic rays, but not be destroyed by them Earth. So all over the world, couples stood together in joy. And me, Zoidberg! And no one could have been happier unless it would have also been Valentine's Day. What? It was? Hooray!


Sewercom Operator: Your call is being connected by SewerCom. Reach out and touch the sewers.
Munda: Look, Morris, it's Leela calling.
Leela: Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. Ready for your big trip to the surface?
Morris: We're excited, honey, but we don't wanna embarrass you. I mean, your mother and I are basically monsters.
Leela: Dad, relax. You are being so mutant!
Munda: I found this adorable little bag to wear over my head. And it was on sale!
Leela: No one's wearing anything adorable over their head. Now listen, I could never, ever be ashamed of my parents. I'll see you this weekend.
Leela: Hey, guess who I just got off the videophone with?
Bender: No.
Leela: My parents! They're coming up from the sewers for a visit Sunday.
Amy: Are you off your rocket? Your parents are mutants. It's illegal for them to come above ground 'cause they're inferior genetic scum. Uh, present company excluded, of course.
Leela: I'm getting them a special one-day surface permit from Citihall.
Hermes: Ooh. While you're there, could you pick me up a licence to kill?
Leela: Sure. Bare hands or weapon?
Hermes: Uh, what does piano wire count as?
Farnsworth: Good news, anyone. The Swedish robot from Pi-kea is here with the super collider I ordered.
Πkea Robot: Enjoy your affordable Swedish crap.
Fry: Let's see what tools we'll need. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Alright, we're all set.
Bender: Nothing like the rustic wholesomeness of working with one's own hand.
Bender: Ah, there. Finished. And with only six missing pieces!
Fry: Those Swedes sure know how to put in almost everything you need.
Leela: Man, I'm sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with Mighty Thor.
Fry: I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.
Zoidberg: I've got just the thing Genuine miracle cream I bought from a travelling salesman. "Come one, come all," he said. "Step right up!" "This sounds too good to be true," I thought. He said I looked like a smart, young man. "So is it a deal?" I enquired. Two hours later he was gone, with 60 of my dollars. But I have the miracle cream-
Farnsworth: Bad news, nobody. The super collider super-exploded. I need you to take it back and exchange it for a wobbly CD rack and some of those rancid meatballs.
Man #1: Excuse me. hi! Do you have a minute? I live in Jersey City and my car broke down and I need to get back because my Aunt's real sick and she needs this medicine but I need money for the bus. So I'm mugging you. Hand over your wallets.
Leela: I don't believe that story for a second.
Man #1: It doesn't matter, I'm mugging you.
Fry: There's no bus to Jersey City.
Man #1: Give me your wallets now or my robot'll shoot.
Andrew: Don't make me hurt you.
Fry: I'm too scared to find my pocket. Here, I'll just take of my pants and give you those.
Man #1: Hey! I don't like what I'm seeing. Give it to him, Andrew! Give it to him again, Andrew! What the- Laser-proof shirts, huh? I'll show you.
Leela: Huh? Hey! Quit it! Hi-yah!
Man #1: Foiled. And after years of planning.
Andrew: You're outta the game!
Leela: How did we manage to survive? What gave us those strange powers?
Fry: Maybe we're all wearing magic rings but they're invisible rings so we don't even realise it. Also, you can't feel the rings.
Leela: Fry, shut up and look at this! May cause superpowers in humans.
Fry: Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub into your skin? You'd think it'd be something you have to freebase.
Leela: Let's see. Which powers do we have? Super-strength?
Fry: Yup.
Leela: Uh-huh. Lickety speed?
Fry: Check.
Leela: Yes, sir! Ability to command the loyalty of sea creatures?
Fry: Hey, Zoidberg, get in here!
Zoidberg: Screw you!
Leela: Ain't got that.
Fry: Nope!
Leela: Wow. Superpowers! I'll be able to pack my day with twice as many humdrum activities.
Fry: Leela, I think you're missing the big picture. When you were a kid, what was your biggest fantasy?
Leela: To have parents.
Fry: Whatever. The correct answer is To be a superhero. We have superpowers and we're Americans. This is our chance.
Leela: Hmm. I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence. Let's do it!
Fry: You'll barely regret this!
Bender: Hey, a friend of mine said he mugged you today and you had superpowers.
Leela: It's true. Thanks to this funky-fresh cream.
Fry: Now me and Leela are forming an awesome crime-fighting duo.
Bender: Wow! Crime-fighting. Cool. You say you're a duo? Yeah, duos are good. Of course sometimes they're a little short-handed. See you. With two humans, you'd think there'd be a robot in there to balance things out but whatever. I have these three costumes you could use. But I guess I'll just throw one away.
Leela: We'd love to have you on the team, Bender. But aren't you more on the supply side of crime?
Fry: Plus the cream won't give you superpowers. You're a robot.
Bender: So? I'm already super-strong. And my arms do this. Also I got this going.
Leela: Listen up, New New York There's a new group of superheroes in town! And we're-
Hattie: Quiet! It's 4am and I just fell asleep for the first time in 30 years!
Leela: Sorry! A new era of justice has begun.
Hattie: What?
Narrator: Attention, all crooks, lowlifes and lawbreakers. Do yourselves a favour and crawl back into your filthy tenements, you human cockroaches. Or get your ugly face punched to custard by ... The New Justice Team.
Fry: Captain Yesterday!
Leela: Clobberella!
Bender: And Superking! The best one of the three!
Fry: Wow!
Song: Go, go, go, New Justice Team,
Song: Go, team, Go, team, Team, team, team,
Song: Who's the newest Justice Team? The New Justice Team!
Song: Captain Yesterday is fast, Also he is from the past, Not just fast but from the past,
Song: Captain Yesterday!
Song: Superking has all the powers of a king, Plus all the powers of Superman, Also he's a robot, Ain't it cool? Superking, you rule!
Song: Clobberella beats you up, Clobberella beats you up, Who does she beat up? You!
Song: Clobberella!
Song: Citizens, never fear, Crazy do-good freaks are here, Until they run out of steam...
Song: Miracle cream, Miracle cream, Gives the power to the team,
Song: It's effects wear off for sure, So they just slop on some more, The New Justice Team!
Bender: Ta-da!
Woman: Captain Yesterday, I find your skintight high-waters incredibly sexy. Let's get together sometime.
Fry: Sure. I'm listed in the phone book so once I reveal my real name to you along with my home address and a copy of my birth certificate-
Leela: Are you crazy? We have to keep our secret identities secret.
Fry: From everybody?
Leela: Especially from everybody.
Fry: Give several reasons why.
Leela: For one, superheroes cause a lot of collateral damage, and we don't wanna get our butts sued.
Fry: Or do we? No, I guess not.
Leela: Also, if our identities get out, every crook in the city will be after us. Or, God forbid, our loved ones.
Bender: Superking has no need for loved ones. How ya doin', kid?
Poopenmeyer: There you go. Two one-day mutant surface passes.
Leela: Thank you, Mayor Poopenmeyer.
Poopenmeyer: Mayor here. What's that? Horrible crime in the works? Ruthless villain? Citizens in danger? That's fantastic news! Because I get to summon the New Justice Team!
Leela: Sh!
Poopenmeyer: Uh, they're usually here by now.
Leela: Well, so long. Keep in touch.
Poopenmeyer: Wait, stay and meet the superheroes. There's three of you and three of them so it'll be perfect. Is this clown on? Where are those daring crime stoppers?
Leela: Oh, I completely forgot. I left my apartment on fire!
Bender: Uh, as for me, I'm late for my LSAT's.
Fry: And I can't take life anymore.
Poopenmeyer: Clobberella! Captain Yesterday! My liege! You're just in time. We've received a tip that the Museum of Natural History will be robbed tomorrow at exactly 9am. The target The priceless Quantum Gemerald.
Fry: Who's the perp?
Poopenmeyer: A dangerous villain known as The Zookeeper, who commits crimes aided by a pack of highly-trained animals.
Fry: Pack of highly. Got it!
Poopenmeyer: His crew includes a badger with a troubled past and nothing left to lose, an elephant who never forgets - to kill! And a seldom-used crab named Lucky, a.k.a. Citizen Snips.
Leela: You can count on us, Mr. Mayor. Justice away!
Bender: Hold the elevator!
Bender: We're in here too.
Fry: Uh, Leela, how you gonna meet your folks tomorrow? We've already scheduled the Zookeeper for a 9am foiling at the museum.
Leela: Not a problem. I've cleverly arranged to meet my parents right there at the same museum at 10.
Bender: 9, 10 a big fat hen. The name's Bender!
Leela: I can't believe the Zookeeper is this late for his own heist. It's just rude! Total hell! It's 10! I'm supposed to meet my parents and I'm still in my secret costume! There they are!
Munda: How could Leela not be here? Do you think she forgot?
Morris: Relax. I'm sure she's just ashamed of us.
Security Guard: Yo! Freakjobs! Hit the nearest manhole, pronto, like.
Morris: But we have passes that allow us to be up here. From the mayor himself.
Security Guard: I dunno. I never heard of no mayor.
Randy: The Zookeeper!
Zookeeper: Sorry I'm late. Long story. Now everybody hit the deck! I'm cutting the entire line and stealing the exhibit.
Leela: You're not stealing anything! Nobody hit the deck!
Zookeeper: Ah, the superheroes. Or should I say superzeroes!
Fry: That was uncalled for.
Zookeeper: Animals, attack.
Tour Guide: Please do not feed the animals!
Bender: You're going down, my friend! Down Under!
Roosevelt: Man boxing a kangaroo is a peculiar spectacle. But a kangaroo boxing a robot? Now I'm afraid you've lost me. Citizen Snips!
Zookeeper: Nice job, Fingers!
Munda: I'm scared and confused. I think we've wandered into an off-Broadway play.
Morris: No, there are way too many people here.
Zookeeper: Later, if anyone asks when I got away, tell them right now!
Leela: Forget it, Zookeeper! You're going into captivity.
Zookeeper: Fool! A quip about putting me behind bars would have been far more delicious. Here, catch!
Leela: No, Fry! You can't fall fast enough!
Bender: I got it, I got it! I don't got it!
Roosevelt: You've saved the Gemerald!
Fry: Yet the Zookeeper escaped, thus proving that the deadliest animal of all is the Zookeeper.
Bender: You can get off me anytime.
Leela: Oh, no! My parents are leaving. I've gotta go change back into street-Leela.
Photographer #1: It's the New Justice Team!
Photographer #2: Can we get some photos?
Poopenmeyer: Thank you, mysterious heroes. The value of the Gemerald you saved is slightly greater than the cost of the damage you caused to this museum. A net gain for our great city!
Munda: It's good that Leela doesn't love us. She'll be less sad when we die.
Leela: Mom? Dad? I showed up! And I got the audio tour for Treasures of Liberace's Tomb.
Morris: Sweetie, it's OK. You don't have to apologise for standing us up on the only visit to the surface we'll ever have.
Leela: I wanna tell you why I didn't show up, but I can't. Just please believe me that it was a very good reason. I'm sorry I disappointed you.
Munda: Leela, you could never disappoint us.
Morris: We're so proud of everything that you are, and we always will be. Because you're our baby girl.
Leela: Oh, I can't take it! Mom, Dad, I'm Clobberella!
Morris: Galloping gators!
Munda: You're a superhero? Well that's wonderful! But did you have to make the costume so revealing?
Morris: Look at me! Proud dad of a superhero! We should print up T-shirts. And F-shirts for our friends with two arms on the same side.
Leela: No, listen. It's very important that you never, ever tell anyone under any circumstance.
Morris: What if I've had a few?
Leela: Dad, you drink? No. Not even then.
Morris: Alright. My sucker is sealed.
Leela: In fact, I shouldn't even be wearing this around here. It was brisk, I dressed in layers.
Munda: That's my girl!
Morris: So, uh, anyway, my daughter's Clobberella.
Raoul: Leela is Clobberella?
Leg Mutant: You're pulling me!
Morris: Sh. keep it under your sock. It's a big secret. That's why I'm only telling you two.
Big-Eared Mutant: Oh, my God! That guy's daughter is Clobberella. But don't tell anyone.
Big-Mouthed Mutant: Gotcha!
Zookeeper: Greetings, superheroes. Remember me?
Farnsworth: I don't remember much, buddy. And you're no looker!
Leela: Uh, Professor, isn't it time for your nap?
Farnsworth: Yes, damnit!
Leela: Zookeeper! How did you know our real identities?
Zookeeper: Let's just say a little bird told me.
Parrot: Leela told her parents. Leela's parents blabbed.
Fry: Leela, is the person that parrot is mimicking telling the truth by proxy?
Leela: Yes. My parents were so hurt, I couldn't help it! But I distinctly told them not to tell anyone.
Bender: We are not amused.
Zookeeper: And here's something you may or may not find interesting.
Leela: Mom! Dad!
Munda: Leela, please forgive us! Especially your father who's the one who told. Thank you very much, Morris.
Leela: Are you alright? Has he hurt you?
Morris: No but my allergies are going nuts. Oh, God!
Munda: Every couch and table has animal fur all over it. He lets them climb on everything!
Leela: Alright, Zookeeper. What do you want?
Zookeeper: Why, the Quantum Gemerald of course! You must steal it for me before midnight or your parents will be devoured by piranhas that I have, shall I say, persuaded to walk on dry land.
Munda: Save us, Leela! I mean, if you don't have anything better to do.
Leela: We're out of options. We have to steal the Gemerald!
Fry: But, should superheroes commit a crime, even to save lives? I need moral guidance. Bender?
Bender: Hmm. The thought of stealing anything fills Superking with disgust. But if it must be so, then let a museum heist be pulled!
Fry: Oh, no! Our superpower cream is out of itself!
Leela: Check inside the cap. There might be a caked-in goldmine.
Fry: El zilcho! I'm afraid we're boned.
Bender: El zilcho? Is it too late to change my superhero name?
Leela: Just be cool. Nobody knows we're super-powerly challenged.
Fry: Man, this costume is so damn heavy!
7¹¹ Clerk: Hey, Captain Yesterday? Can I, like, wail on you with this 2-by-4 and it doesn't hurt you?
Fry: Ow! That ... didn't hurt.
Security Guard: Hi, superheroes. Everything OK?
Leela: Big O, little k, my friend! Just checking if everything's alright.
Security Guard: It's OK, alright!
Leela: OK, then. Grab it!
Tate: Yo! The superheroes have turned evil! Most uncool.
Security Guard: Get 'em!
Leela: Stay back! Or we'll, beat the tar out of you ... using superpowers!
Fry: So this is your lair?
Zookeeper: Of course not. You think I'd show you my lair? My lair's a million times nicer than this!
Fry: OK, take it easy!
Bender: Well, here's your lousy Gemerald.
Zookeeper: Hawk! Fetch!
Fry: That seemed unnecessary.
Zookeeper: Our transaction is complete. Come, Solomon. To the lair.
Leela: Mom! Dad! Oh, I'm so sorry I got you kidnapped by a crazy madman who tried to feed you to piranhas.
Munda: We're just happy to be involved in your life.
Leela: No, no. It's my fault for telling you I was a superhero.
Morris: That's true.
Leela: I just couldn't stand to have you to think I was ashamed of you.
Munda: That's sweet, honey. But it's natural for children to be a little ashamed of their parents.
Fry: Oh, yeah!
Morris: Just like it's natural for parents to be a little disappointed in their children- N-Not that we are.
Munda: But you could call a little more often.
Leela: OK.
Munda: And would it kill you to use some mouthwash?
Bender: Hey, Fry, we've still got our costumes on. Wanna steal some more stuff?
Fry: I guess, as long as you think it's right.
Bender: Superheroes away!
Song: Go, go, go, New Justice Team, Fighting justice is their quest, Superking, Clobberella, and all the rest, Here's to you, New Justice Team, Do the things that make your team, Help each other do some things, Winners don't use drugs, The New Justice Team!


Zoidberg: Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy! Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!
Fry: There's no denying it, the future's crazy! Oh, well. Don't wanna stand out.
Fry And Zoidberg: Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy! Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!
Zoidberg: There's nothing crazy about it. It's just Freedom Day!
Farnsworth: ...an extremely dangerous mission...
Fry: So, what is Freedom Day? Sounds like some kind of feminine hygiene product.
Zoidberg: No, it's a fabulous, crab-ulous day!
Amy: If you wanna do something, you do it, and to splick with the consequences!
Bender: You know, like how I live every day.
Hermes: Happy Freedom Day! Ooh! I think my wrist is broken.
Farnsworth: Of course, it wouldn't be Freedom Day without the traditional Freedom Tub!
Hermes: Mmm! That'll feel nice on my shattered bones!
Fry: Wow! Nude hot-tubbing? That's all I need to hear about Freedom Day!
Zoidberg: Then consider the following lecture a bonus On Earth, freedom is a given. But on my planet, we have to suffer for it.
Decapodian Woman: Sure, you can be a comedian instead of a doctor - if you want your parents to roll over in their graves!
Decapodian Man: Sure, you can vote for Shkinadel - if you want there should be a recession!
Decapodian Woman: Sure, you can go to medical school - if you've given up on your dream of being a comedian!
Zoidberg: That's why I love Earth! You can do what you want, and no one makes you feel guilty because no one cares.
Fry: We're not listening!
Zoidberg: That's what I'm talking about!
Stilt People: Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy! Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!
Bender: Scuse me, comin' through. Freedom train arriving on track one.
Woman: Ow! You broke my foot!
Bender: Freedom!
Morbo: What's this next float, Linda?
Linda: Representing our men, women and children in uniform, it's Earth's greatest space hero, Zapp Brannigan!
Zapp: Happy Freedom Day, ladies! Come on, let loose and show me something! Anything. Seriously, I'd take an armpit. Oh, yeah! Thank you, Linda!
Linda: You're welcome! OK, Morbo, now it's your turn.
Morbo: If that is your Freedom Day wish.
Nixon: Thank you, Secretary of Transportation. My fellow Earthicans, we enjoy so much freedom it's almost sickening. We're free to choose which hand our sex-monitoring chip is implanted in. And if we don't want to pay our taxes, why, we're free to spend a weekend with the Pain Monster.
Pain Monster: See you April 15th, folks!
Nixon: Cue the fireworks guy! Incidentally, tonight's Freedom Day celebration is brought to you by ... ... "Shankman's Rubbing Compound". When something needs rubbing, think "Shankman".
Bender: Yay! Shankman!
Hermes: It costs a little more but it's worth it!
Nixon: Our planet has been through so much this past year Wars, droughts, impeachments! But we've never lost our sense of what's truly important The great taste of "Charleston Chew"! And now, let us salute that beloved symbol of freedom, our flag, Ol' Freebie!
Zoidberg: I'm swelling with patriotic mucus!
Nixon: In our darkest hour we can stand erect, with proud, upthrust bosoms!
Fry: Anyone who laughs is a Communist!
Nixon: Knowing that, with a shifty glance skyward, we will see by the rocket's red glare that our flag is still there. It's gone!
Zoidberg: Yes, fellow patriots, I ate your flag. And I did it with pride. For to express oneself with doing a thing is the very essence of Freedom Day! Bless this planet and all its wonderful people!
Nixon: Kill him! Kill the traitor!
Man #1: Hey, it's the guy who desecrated our flag!
Nixon: Stop that red menace!
Zoidberg: I'm all scuttled out! Huh? My planet's embassy? They're paid to not kill me! A-yoop!
Zoidberg: I thought I understood this world. I thought I was fitting in. But I guess I don't belong on here anymore than I belong on our crappy home planet- Ooh, sorry.
Decapodian Man: What sorry? Our planet stinks, we all know it.
Ambassador Mervin: Enough with the persecution, I'm saying. Zoidberg, as Ambassador, I promise you the full support of our government, already.
Decapodian Woman: Poor boy. You want maybe a nice mug cocoa?
Zoidberg: Ambassador Mervin, you and your staff are so kind. I'm truly humbled. What, no marshmallows?
Nixon: Let's storm the place ... without my prior knowledge.
Bender: Scuse me, comin' through. Freedom train, step aside. You too, fatso. Freedom!
Leela: Cool your jowls, Nixon. You may not like it that Dr. Zoidberg desecrated a flag. You might even find the image of it festering in his bowels somehow offensive. But the right to freedom of expression is guaranteed by the Earth Constitution.
Nixon: Aroo! Maybe so. But I know a place where the Constitution doesn't mean squat.
Myrtle Fu: The Supreme Court hereby accepts the case of Earth vs. Zoidberg.
Nixon: Sock it to 'em!
Crowd: Two, four, six, eight, Eating the flag is bad.
Scout Leader: Now your noose knot has exactly seven twists.
Man #2: You can eat my dog. You can eat my truck. But you eat my flag and you're outta luck! She's a-wavin' proud around the world, from Dallas to Fort Worth. Let me say it again...
Crowd: Don't mess with Earth!
Fry: They sure hate Dr. Zoidberg.
Bender: Pft. Posers! I was hating Zoidberg before it was cool.
Fry: Where are we ever going to find a lawyer to take his case?
Leela: I'll ask the head of the ACLU - once he's done singing.
Man #2: Don't mess with Earth. Kill Zoidberg! Goodnight!
Old Man Waterfall: Howdy there! I'm a lawyer and I'd like to help your friend out of his pickle.
Fry: Who are you, old man?
Old Man Waterfall: Name's Old Man Waterfall but most folks just call me "Old Man".
Fry: I'll never remember that.
Old Man Waterfall: I'm a veteran of three dozen wars. Name a body part and a planet and I've taken a bullet in it, on it. All to keep our flag flying free.
Bender: And you wanna defend Zoidberg? Are you familiar with the old robot saying "does not compute"?
Old Man Waterfall: Son, to me a robot's just a garbage can with sparks comin' out it.
Bender: The sparks keep me warm.
Old Man Waterfall: I don't condone what Dr. Zoidberg did but I'll fight tooth and nail for his freedom to do it. Or I would if I hadn't lost my teeth and nails on Mars and Saturn respectively.
Fry: Wait, you're a lawyer? You're hired!
Fry: You OK there in the embassy, Zoidberg?
Holo-Zoidberg: No. There's no cocoa marshmallows, and every night the rats eat a little more of my foot!
Bailiff: Oyez, oyez, oyez. All rise for the Honourable Chief Justice, Myrtle Fu, and the Associate Justices.
Myrtle Fu: Counsel, you may address the court on behalf of Earth, if you're ready.
Hyper-Chicken: I was hatched ready! Honourable judge heads, yonder crawdad done ate up our flag.
Holo-Zoidberg: I was doing freedom of speech, Earth's most sacred right.
Hyper-Chicken: Your Honour, freedom of speech applies to what comes out of a mouth, not what goes in.
O'Connor: Can counsel cite precedent?
Hyper-Chicken: Uh, yes, darlin', I can. In State Of Alabama vs. Giant Space Iguana, chewin' the corners off the Constitution was deemed non-protected speech.
Souter: He shut you up, O'Connor.
Myrtle Fu: Mr. Waterfall, you may now present arguments on behalf of Dr. Zoidberg.
Holo-Zoidberg: Oh, God, I'm nervous. Two of my three hearts are having attacks.
Bender: Court's kinda fun when it's not my ass on the line! Nachos?
Old Man Waterfall: Oh, land-o-Goshen! Your Honours, I'm not some slick, big-city lawyer like my opponent here. But I am a veteran who has fought for his planet. You see this hand of mine?
Scalia: Yes, I do.
Old Man Waterfall: No, you don't 'Cause I lost my real hand plantin' the flag when we took back Halley's Comet! Yet it was worth it, so much do I love that flag. I love it even more than I love my seven wives - that's right, I'm a polygamist. Yet I would gladly eat a flag myself, had I not used my intestine as a rope to hoist a flag made of my own skin, if it would protect the freedoms of the proud people who salute that flag. Freedom such as polygamy. I rest my case. Whoa, jeez!
Myrtle Fu: The Justices and I will now confer using high-speed telepathy. By a vote of six-to-three, we find that flag eating is not protected by the Constitution.
Bender: Six-to-three? I beat the spread!
Myrtle Fu: The court orders an immediate public apology.
Holo-Zoidberg: Apology accepted. Just don't let it happen again.
Hermes: She means you, you turkey of the sea!
Holo-Zoidberg: Me? Apologise? Never! I came to this planet to learn the meaning of freedom, but I say it's you who should get a nice lesson! So do your worst because no punishment could be worse than denying my freedom.
Myrtle Fu: You are hereby sentenced to death.
Holo-Zoidberg: Wait, let me finish!
Myrtle Fu: Also, in a rare double-whammy decision, the court finds polygamy constitutional.
Old Man Waterfall: I can't wait to tell my husband!
Zapp: Remember, men, take him alive so there's something left to kill.
Ambassador Mervin: Stay back! This embassy is sovereign mud of the mud planet Decapod 10. Invading these mud premises is an act of war.
Zapp: Yeah? Well what are you going to do about it, Shrimp-y?
Ambassador Mervin: You wanna see, Mr. Big-Shot? Attack Earth. Yes I know it's a schlep. Just do it!
Zoidberg: Aha! Now the rubber band's on the other claw!
Zapp: Ready ... retreat!
Patron: Shh!
Zoidberg: Deny my freedom, will you? Well we'll do to you what we did to the Squash Men of the Squash Planet! Squish them!
Ambassador Mervin: Charleston Chew?
Zoidberg: You bet!
Zapp: Alright, Kif, let's show these freaks what a bloated, runaway military budget can do. Bring me the activation codes for our global defence network.
Kif: Aye, aye, sir.
Computer Voice: Commence lip identification scan. No tongue.
Zapp: We can't be too careful with these codes. Rumour has it a double agent may be aboard this very ship. I'm watching you! You, ensign, what's your name?
"Ensign": Hugh Man, sir.
Zapp: Hugh Man? Now that's a name I can trust. Run down to the central battle computer and enter these codes. Chop, chop!
Kif: Um, sir? There's something about that ensign that's-
Zapp: You're damn right there is! That strapping young lad's gunning for your job. And he just might get it.
Zapp: The enemy approacheth! Lieutenant, fire missile one and recommend me for another medal. Make it gaudy, I'm going clubbing later. Tick, tock!
Kif: Sir, all planetary defences have been disabled. Perhaps the Decapodians acquired our secret codes, somehow.
Zapp: Well, Kif, stand by to take the blame. Steady, steady ... now!
Leela: Dr. Zoidberg, how can you claim to love freedom and then enslave all of Earth?
Zoidberg: Bah! Your planet doesn't deserve freedom until it learns what it is to not have freedom. It's a lesson, I say.
Fry: Ow!
Bender: What the hell is this dirt pile we're building, anyhow?
Zoidberg: None of your beeswax, slave! You'll find out soon enough. Just focus on globing that mud. Glob!
Fry: I'm no good at being a slave. I'm thinking about graduate school. Y'know, to become a barber?
Leela: This can't go on. Today is the day we fight back!
Bender: It's already 10 o'clock!
Leela: Oh, you're right. Tomorrow is the day we fight back.
Zapp: Yeah? Well good luck, sister. All our modern technology is useless.
Bender: I know I am.
Fry: Hey, wait! I'm having one of those things. You know, a headache with pictures?
Leela: An idea?
Fry: Back in my day we didn't have your fancy all-digital weapons, but we still managed to kill each other just fine.
Bender: Ah, the crossbow. A pitiless, elegant killing machine. The Bender of the 15th century.
Fry: Not big enough. We need something that can take out an entire army. Something you could commit a war crime with-
Bender: Wow! Ow!
Ambassador Mervin: Earth slaves, behold the fruit of your labours The Mobile Oppression Palace.
Bender: Neat!
Ambassador Mervin: I don't need to tell you that occupation forces are expensive. But with the Mobile Oppression Palace, a few dignitaries can oppress your entire planet for pennies a day. Warships, dismissed!
Old Man Waterfall: Do your worst, you sea devils! I'll make my stand with Ol' Freebie. You can crush me but you can't crush my spirit! My spirit!
Frieda Waterfall: Great Grandpa, no! Another victim of the mano-centric male-ocracy.
Zoidberg: Ambassador Mervin, you killed my lawyer.
Ambassador Mervin: You're welcome.
Zoidberg: He defended my freedom when no one else would. He was a good and honourable man.
Old Man Waterfall: I request a Satanic funeral.
Zoidberg: Is it possible that all this slavery and oppression is shmutzing up our freedom lesson?
Ambassador Mervin: Ah, take a pill, Zoidberg. Begin again with the crushing!
Fry: You haven't won yet, Mervin! You didn't expect us to even go to a museum, much less steal this ancient heat-seeking missile.
Ambassador Mervin: I don't even know you.
Decapodian Woman: Oh, it's gonna make such a mess!
Ambassador Mervin: This is your secret plan? Meh! Heat-seeking missiles are useless against the Mobile Oppression Palace. All Decapodian technology is cold-blooded, like us!
Zoidberg: All eyes on Zoidberg! Ew!
Bender: Hey, I need that to smoke!
Fry: Zoidberg, how could you? I used to think you were cool.
Zoidberg: Wait! People of Earth, listen. Yes, I'm desecrating a flag. But to preserve the freedom it represents!
Leela: Zoidberg, you set us free! I feel like I could stand to hug you! I can't, but you know what I'm trying to say.
Crowd: Zoidberg! Zoidberg! Zoidberg!
Zoidberg: Ah, if only they appreciated freedom this much on my home planet. Wait a second! They do! Because this is my home planet.
Nixon: And now, to raise this beautiful new flag, a red lobster that won't ruin your dinner, Dr. John Zoidberg!
Zoidberg: You're a nice man, Nixon.
Scoop Chang: Dr. Zoidberg, how's about you take a bite of the flag for tomorrow's papers?
Zoidberg: Oh, I couldn't.
Nixon: No, no, no, go ahead. You've earned it!
Zoidberg: Well, maybe just a taste. Mmm! Now that's a grand, old flag! I wonder what the Shroud of Turin tastes like.


Fry: I can't take it anymore! They've been at it for hours! (shouting) Give it a rest, you two!
Robot: Sorry!
Teacher: Good morning, class. I trust you've all prepared for today's final exam.
Fry: Uh, excuse me? I missed a few lectures. Uh, what subject is this?
Teacher: Ancient Egyptian algebra.
Fry: What a nightmare!
Teacher: Mister Fry, are those your underpants? Young man, I think it's time you learned a lesson about Lightspeed brand briefs.
Announcer: Lightspeed fits today's active lifestyle. Whether you're on the job ... ... or having fun. Lightspeed briefs, style and comfort for the discriminating crotch.
Fry: What a weird dream! I'll never get back to sleep.
Fry: So you're telling me they broadcast commercials into people's dreams?
Leela: Of course.
Fry: But, how is that possible?
Farnsworth: It's very simple. The ad gets into your brain just like this liquid gets into this egg. Although, in reality, it's not liquid, but gamma radiation.
Fry: That's awful. It's like brainwashing.
Leela: Didn't you have ads in the 20th century?
Fry: Well, sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio. And in magazines and movies and at ball games, on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts and bananas and written on the sky. But not in dreams. No, sir-ee!
Bender: Quit squawking, flesh wad. Nobody's forcing you to buy anything.
Amy: Yeah. I mean we all have commercials in our dreams but you don't see us running off to buy brand-name merchandise at low, low prices.
Perfume Saleswoman: Hi! Care to sample the latest fragrance from Calvin Clone?
Amy: No thanks.
Perfume Saleswoman: And you, sir?
Bender: No thanks. I-
Cosmetologist: What a lovely face. We just need to draw attention away from the eye area.
Fry: Cool. Can I try these on before I buy them?
Salesman: I'm afraid I can't let you open the package. But you can try on the demo pair.
Fry: Ooh! Ho, ho, ho!
Amy: Hey, Bender! Great new sweater.
Bender: New? What sweater? I came in with it. I don't know you people!
Salesman: $30, please.
Fry: $30? I can't afford that. Unless... Do you take Visa?
Salesman: Visa hasn't existed for 500 years.
Fry: American Express?
Salesman: 600 years.
Fry: Discover card?
Salesman: Sorry we don't take Discover.
Amy: Hey! You're springing for Lightspeed? Pretty ritzy!
Fry: No, I can't afford them. Being poor sucks. What kind of world is this where they advertise things not everybody can afford?
Amy: Quiet. There's an ad coming on.
Mom: Hello, shoppers. It's me, Mom!
Fry: Hey who's the rocker jockey?
Amy: Guh! It's Mom. The world's most huggable industrialist.
Mom: Call me old-fashioned, but when my robot starts to squeak like an old screen door, well, that's when I reach for a can of Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil.
Bender: Mmm, tasty!
Mom: And remember Mom's oil is made with 10% more love than the next leading brand!
Announcer: "Mom", "love" and "screen door" are registered trademarks of Momcorp.
Fry: Hey, Bender. Sounds like you could use a little of that oil.
Bender: I'm boned.
Smitty: Freeze, scuzzbot!
Bender: Uh, there's obviously been some sort of a mistake here. I'm sure there's- I say I'm sure there's- That is, I'm sure there's ... a very ... reasonable-
Amy: Do we have enough money to pay Bender's fine?
Fry: 78, 79, 79.50. Crud! We're 50 cents short.
Leela: I'd love to chip in but Bender stole my wallet.
Fry: Hey, that's my old bank. Maybe my account's still open.
Teller: Hmm. We don't seem to have your retina scan, your fingerprint or your colonic map on file.
Fry: Yeah, well, I did open the account over a thousand years ago. What about my ATM card?
Teller: Do you still remember your PIN number?
Fry: Sure! It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda back where I used to work, Panucci's Pizza.
Teller: OK, you had a balance of 93 cents...
Fry: Alright!
Teller: And at an average of two-and-a-quarter percent interest over a period of 1000 years, that comes to ... $4.3 billion.
Hermes: To Fry.
Amy: Cheers!
Leela: I know Fry's rich, but do we really have to wear these top hats?
Bender: Maybe you don't understand just how rich he is. In fact, I think I'd better put on a monocle.
Fry: Pizza dinner on me! Just keep the tab under $50 million.
Robot Chef: Yo! I haven't got all day. What kind of pizza yous guys want?
Fry: Uh, yeah. We'll have one with everything but anchovies and one with my all time favourite topping, anchovies!
Robot Chef: Invalid selection. (normal voice) Yo, what are you talking about?
Fry: Anchovies? You know? Those little headless fish?
Robot Chef: Does not compute. Does not compute.
Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but the anchovy has been extinct since the 2200's.
Fry: What?
Farnsworth: Oh, my, yes. Fished to death. Just about the time your people arrived on Earth wasn't it, Zoidberg?
Zoidberg: I'm not on trial here.
Fry: So none of you has ever had anchovies? Oh, man! You don't know what you're missing. They were all salty and oily and they melted in your mouth and-
Zoidberg: Stop! Stop! I admit it! My people ate them all! We kept saying "One more can't hurt" and then they were gone. We're sorry!
Fry: I just wish I could've showed you guys how great they were. I may be rich but I still can't buy back all the things I miss from the 20th century.
Bender: Maybe you're forgetting just how rich you are. Huh? Huh?
Fry: So? What do you think?
Leela: I know you spent a lot of money on this place, Fry, but it's awfully primitive. The floors are made of such hard wood.
Bender: Hey! Get a load of this pathetic 20th century TV!
Fry: What's wrong with it?
Bender: Well, aside from causing eye cancer, these things had a lousy low-definition picture.
Amy: That's true. On a TV like this I bet you couldn't even make out my obscene tattoo.
Leela: That's cute!
Auctioneer: Sold!
Fry: Yes!
Leela: I just don't get it. Who was this Ted Danson, and why would you pay $10,000 for his skeleton?
Fry: I have an idea for a sitcom.
Bender: Ah, leave him alone, Leela. So he's going a little wacko with his money. It's OK.
Leela: You're just saying that because he bought you that antique robot toy.
Bender: Yeah, it is cute.
Auctioneer: Now, our final item This unopened can of Angry Norwegian brand anchovies circa 1997.
Fry: Anchovies?
Auctioneer: The last known can in existence guaranteed fresh and edible. Do I hear $10,000?
Fry: 15,000!
Man: 20!
Decapodian Woman: 30! No, 40!
Fry: 50,000!
Leela: Are you crazy? It's a can of old fish.
Fry: Don't tell me how to spend my money.
Auctioneer: 50 going once, twice-
Mom: 75,000.
Leela: Oh, my God! It's Mom! I've never seen her in person before.
Fry: 100,000.
Leela: Fry, you can't bid against Mom; she's the richest, most powerful person in the world. And she's so adorable.
Mom: Well, I suppose I could go as high as ... 300,000.
Fry: 500!
Mom: Oh, mercy be. A million.
Fry: Two.
Mom: Six.
Fry: 14!
Mom: I can see the nice young man really wants those little fish. Nevertheless, I'll bid 23 million.
Fry: One jillion dollars.
Auctioneer: Sir, that's not a number.
Fry: Oh. In that case, 50 million.
Mom: Well, boys, your old mother knows when she's been beat. You win, young man. I tip my bonnet to you.
Bidder #1: Isn't she adorable?
Bidder #2: Isn't she sweet?
Auctioneer: What a class act! Sold! To the gentleman who bought every item in today's auction.
Fry: Now for some good old 20th century TV.
Announcer: Do you remember a time when chocolate chip cookies came fresh from the oven? Petridge Farm remembers.
Fry: Ah, those were the days.
Announcer: Do you remember a time when women couldn't vote and certain folk weren't allowed on golf courses? Petridge Farm remembers.
Leela: Fry? Are you there?
Fry: Eh?
Leela: You haven't been to work in three days. What have you been doing?
Fry: I've been sitting right here. I picked up my life exactly where I left off a thousand years ago. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's eight o'clock. Time to get biz-ay!
Leela: You can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.
Fry: I could if you hadn't turned on the lights and shut off the stereo.
Leela: Fry, this isn't healthy. You're living in the past.
Fry: I'm rich! I can live whenever I want.
Leela: But we're your friends and we live here in the year 3000.
Bender: Yeah! Now are you gonna come to the squid fights with us or sit here wallowing in your prehistoric junk?
Fry: Junk? Maybe you can't understand this, but I've finally found what I need to be happy and it's not friends, it's things.
Bender: I'm a thing.
Fry: Just leave me alone.
Leela: Fry, please- (from outside) My ponytail's caught in the door.
Fry: I don't need them. Not when I have my antique videos, my bucket of fossilised KFC and 50 million dollars worth of anchovies.
Mom: Mercy me, what a day.
Mom: Could you shut the door, Igner, dear? I think I feel a draught coming on. Holy crap, that bastard's itchy! Walt! Cream soda!
Walt: Right away, mother. Larry, get your mother a cream soda.
Larry: But, Mom said-
Walt: You heard me.
Igner: What's wrong, Mommy?
Mom: It's those damned anchovies. That dirtbag, Fry, must know their secret. And I won't rest until I get my hands on them. No one messes with Mom!
Walt: Quiet, you!
Mom: As you boys know, one of the cornerstones of my empire is Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil. Think of it 10 billion robots, each one needing an oil change every 3000 miles. You don't have to do the math to know that's a buttload of oil.
Igner: Can I wear your fat suit?
Mom: No, Igner, put that down!
Walt: What does this have to do with the anchovies?
Mom: I'm getting to the freaking anchovies. A single drop of the anchovies' natural oil would lubricate 10 robots permanently.
Larry: Wow, it's a shame they went extinct.
Mom: No, it isn't! Shut your filthy trap! (talking) Thank you, Walt. If anyone ever got a hold of anchovy DNA, they could chop out the oil-making gene, stick it in a bunch of Third-World kids and bam! Cheap effective robot oil. Enough to put dear, old Mom out of businness.
Walt: My God! This Mr. Fry must be a mastermind of the highest order.
Fred: Esther, you ugly!
Mom: We have only one option We'll have to bankrupt Mr. Fry, so he'll be forced to sell the anchovies to us.
Walt: Mother, you are one clever old skag!
Mom: And don't you forget it!
Larry: But how are we supposed to get Fry's money out of the bank?
Mom: That part will be easy, thanks to the nice people at Mom's Old Fashioned Video Surveillance Unit.
Teller: Do you still remember your PIN number?
Fry: Sure! It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda back where I used to work, Panucci's Pizza. It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda-
Mom: You know what needs to be done.
Larry: What?
Mom: Get his PIN number, you idiots! (talking) Now I'm off to some charity BS for knocked-up teenage sluts.
Walt: Mr. Fry, it's those three plumbers you called for.
Larry: We're here to tighten your drain.
Fry: I didn't order any-
Walt: Quick! Give him the tranquilliser.
Larry: That's a good boy.
Walt: Wake up, Mr. Fry.
Fry: Where am I?
Walt: You're in the good old year 2000, working here at Panucci's Pizza. You fell asleep on the job.
Fry: That sounds like me but I thought I got frozen. Wasn't I in the future?
Walt: No, you only "dreamed" you were in the year 3000.
Fry: So I'm really back? That's exactly what I wanted, I guess. Who are you?
Walt: I'm Mr. Panucci.
Fry: You are? Did you grow a moustache since last night?
Walt: No. Now go work the currency register, I think I hear a customer coming. I said, "I think I hear a customer coming"!
Anderson: Hurry up, please. I wanna get back to the Head Museum.
Larry: Don't worry, Miss Anderson, this won't take long. Now, your motivation is you're back in the year 2000 and your head's still on your body, and you want a cheese pizza.
Anderson: OK. But I'm only doing this so people will take my head seriously as an actress.
Fry: Hey, look! Anchovies!
Walt: Of course. They're not extinct yet. And if you need further proof that this is really a thousand years ago, well, here's contemporary actress, Pamela Anderson!
Fry: Ooh!
Anderson: Hello, Fry. Remember me from Baywatch The Movie?
Fry: Uh...
Anderson: It was the first movie to be shot entirely in slow-motion.
Walt: It hasn't been made yet.
Anderson: Then he doesn't know I won the Oscar?
Walt: Nope.
Anderson: Crap!
Fry: Wait. You're Pamela Anderson! Cool! What can I get you?
Anderson: Oh, I'll have a cheese pizza and a large ... uh ... line?
Larry: Soda!
Anderson: Oh, right! Cheese pizza and a large soda!
Fry: Uh, cheese and a- That was quick!
Anderson: So. What do I owe you?
Fry: 10.77. Same as my PIN number.
Igner: Hey! You don't get to laugh.
Igner: Thanks a billion!
Larry: More like 4.3 billion!
Igner: Ow!
Larry: Ow!
Fry: Oh, I had a nightmare I was in the year 2000 and you guys never existed. I'm so glad I'm awake now and you're really here.
Leela: Since when do you care about us?
Bender: We thought you only cared about cans of anchovies and stuffy old songs about the buttocks.
Fry: No, that's not true!
Leela: Goodbye-ee!
Bender: Whee!
Announcer: This dream brought to you by Lightspeed briefs.
Fry: Bender! Leela! Don't leave me. Wait a minute! Hey, buddy, what year is this?
Repo-Bot: Uh, 3000.
Fry: 3000? Yes! I'm still in the future! Life is wonderful! Wait! What are you doing with my stuff?
Repo-Bot: Uh, cheque bounced. We're taking it all back.
Fry: Oh, no! My ATM card! My secret PIN number - 1077. I've got nothing left. Except...
Leela: You're Fry's relative. Do you have any idea how he got so crazy?
Farnsworth: Uh, wha? Oh, yes! They say madness runs in our family. Some even call me mad! And why? Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters. Atomic supermen with octagonal-shaped bodies that suck blood out of...
Fry: Leela! Bender! I missed you so much!
Leela: You did? What happened?
Fry: I was robbed. They got everything except these.
Bender: Who did?
Mom: Hello, Fry.
Leela: It's Mom!
Mom: I felt terrible when I heard about your money troubles and I thought maybe I could help out a sweet, young man by buying his anchovies.
Fry: Sorry. But the anchovies aren't for sale.
Mom: What? Listen, you little bastard. I control the robot oil business and I won't let you ruin me. How much do you want?
Fry: You might as well put that chequebook away, because I've discovered something even more important My friends. And they aren't worth even a penny to me. That's why these anchovies are going on a pizza, so I can share the food I love with the people I like.
Mom: Holy hell! You're going to eat them? Oh, well. Just make sure you eat them all, you're a growing boy. Toodle-oo! Dumb ass!
Fry: What a nice lady!
Fry: OK, my friends. Get ready for the most delicious extinct animal you've ever tasted.
Amy: I don't know, I've had cow. Ew! Gross!
Fry: Ah, no one likes them at first but they'll grow on you.
Zoidberg: That stench. That heavenly stench! More!
Fry: There aren't any more. And there never will be.
Zoidberg: More! More! More! More!


John Dimaggio: Wooo! Two, three!
Farnsworth: Oh, my.
Bender: Here we go, y'all!
Zoidberg: Zoidberg...Zoidberg...Z-Z-Z-Z-Zoidberg.
Bender: This is a story about all my friends!
Farnsworth: Fry?
Fry: Unh!!
Farnsworth: Fry?
Announcer: Previously on All My Circuits...
Antonio: I'm sorry, Father. But, somewhere along the way, I forgot how to be your son.
Calculon: Why, Antonio?
Antonio: Because ... I have amnesia!
Monique: Calculon? But I thought you were-
Calculon: Egyptian?
Monique: Before I kill you, I must ask you one question Who am I? For I have ... amnesia!
Calculon: Let me get this straight Does anyone here not have amnesia?
Monique: Not sure.
Human Friend: I 'unno.
Cubert: This show is awesome! When I grow up I'm gonna have so much amnesia!
Dwight: Me too. I mean, I have it now, but I forgot.
Cubert: Well, mine's louder!
Bender: Cram a ham in it, you twerps! Sorry!
Fry: Nah, I had it coming.
Calculon: Welcome, swingers. Pull up a groove and get fabulous.
Monique: Nude rocks bands, big piles of what I assume is talcum powder. It's quite a birthday party, Calculon.
Cubert: Cool! I'm gonna have a fabulatious birthday party just like Calculon!
Dwight: Oh, yeah? Well I'm gonna show up looking good, just like Monique.
Leela: Do you two have to imitate everything you see on TV?
Cubert: Um, we're 12. So, yes.
Dwight: Hold up, Cubert. You're a clone of the Professor. Do clones even have birthdays?
Cubert: Um, duh!
Dwight: "Duh" what?
Cubert: Dad? Do I have a birthday?
Farnsworth: Hmm. You didn't have a birth so, technically, no. Oh, don't feel bad. We can celebrate the day I extracted you from the cloning tank, or the day I scraped your DNA from that growth on my back.
Cubert: Ooh! That one!
Farnsworth: Ah, yes. It was 13 years ago next week. I used this very fork.
Hermes: Aw, well isn't that- Ew!
Dwight: Hey! Next week'll be my birthday too.
Hermes: That's true. If only there were a way to have one party for both of you here at the office then write it off as a business expense. Wait! I thought of a way! The way I just said!
Cubert: Yeah!
Dwight: Way to go, Pops!
Bender: Something's happening on television.
Calculon: Oh, Monique, why did we wait so many years to bathe in champagne?
Antonio: Father, I've discovered the shocking secret mother has kept from you for 200 years.
Monique: No! No!
Antonio: Brace yourself. For when I speak these words, you may well suffer an attack of explosive amnesia. For you see, the horrible secret is-
Bender: Whoever's directing this is a master of suspense!
Sal: He's busteds. Let's get hims outta heres.
Announcer: We now join America's most popular show already in progress, Everybody Loves Hypno-Toad.
Fry: This show's been going downhill since season three.
Zoidberg: Look who's here, everyone! It's Zoidberg, the lovable tramp!
Leela: Since when are you performing at children's parties?
Zoidberg: Performing? What? Please, if someone could spare me money to buy shoes-
Dwight: This party pukes.
Cubert: Yeah! The guests were supposed to be here three hours ago.
Farnsworth: Well, that doesn't mean that no one is coming or that you two are total losers. Who gave you that idea?
Dwight: Alright! They must have all come as a group.
Cubert: Welcome, swingers! Pull up a groove and get fabulous.
Tinny Tim: Good day, fellows. Someone dumped this invitation in my begging cup. Happy growth-scraping day to all!
Hermes: Fire 'em all.
Farnsworth: Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
Bender: Guys! Guys! Something's happening on television again.
Morbo: Welcome to Entertainment And Earth Invasion Tonite. Across the galaxy, my people are completing the mighty space fleet that will exterminate the human race! But first, this news from Tinseltown.
Linda: Following Antonio Calculon Jr.'s breakdown on the set, the popular TV show All My Circuits will hold an open casting call for child robots to replace him.
Bender: An open casting call for child robots? Tinny Tim, are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Tinny Tim: What's that, sir?
Bender: That I, Bender, am perfect for the role!
Tinny Tim: You raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly, sir. Bravo!
Leela: Bender, your swarthy Latin charm will only get you so far. There's a lot of famous child acting units here.
Fry: Look! There's Macaulay Culkon.
Leela: He's just not cute since he got puberty installed.
Fry: Pst. There's that robot child actor who grew up and robbed a convenience store!
Leela: And there's that robot child actor who grew up and became a convenience store!
Robber-Bot: Lottery ticket, please.
Casting Director: We're ready for the first audition. Emotitron Jr.?
Mombot: Hold on, precious. Let's make you look nice for the lady. What's this? What did I tell you? No more hanging wires!
Casting Director: In this scene, you've just found out your real father is Calculon's fourth evil identical septuplet, Sleazy Martinez. OK ... take us there!
Emotitron Jr.: Now that I know the truth, Father, I must ride south and join the robo-bandidos at Veracruz.
Bender: Awful! Boo! This kid sucks! We want Bender! Boo!
Calculon: Well, I thought he was good but the audience seems to have turned on him.
Casting Director: But I don't think-
Calculon: Next!
Macaulay Culkon: -At Veracruz. So, if you'll kindly hand me my poncho-
Bender: Boo! Bring on Bender! Boo! Bender's the greatest!
Calculon: Sorry, kid. You're flailing up there. 90 actors and they all got boo-ed. I just wish we could get this Bender I keep hearing about. They say he's the greatest.
Casting Director: Well, there is a robot named Bender here but he's much too old for-
Calculon: Send him in forthwith!
Bender: Boo! Not as good as Bender! Boo!
Casting Director: Mr. Bender?
Casting Director: Have you ever been on TV before?
Bender: Once, when I took those hostages.
Calculon: I saw that! You were good. Let's hear you audition.
Bender: Bandidos, eh? Aw, this is great! 'Cause I happen to have a flawless Spanish accent! I will see. Adios Padre! Come, Jesus, my faithful ... chee-huey-hua. Tonight we eat ... gee-wack-a-mole by the El Rio!
Calculon: That was so terrible I think you gave me cancer! I don't care how popular you are. You will never work on my show!
Fry: Yay, Bender!
Leela: We demand Bender!
Calculon: However, you've got the job. Welcome aboard, son!
Bender: Father-o!
Calculon: Bender, I'd like you to meet our director ... ... whose name I never learned.
Bender: Yo! I read the script and I think it would help my character's motivation if he was on fire.
Director: Uh, don't worry about the script, baby. We re-wrote your part to better suit your acting abilities.
Bender: So now my character has a British accent?
Director: No, now your character's in a coma. Get in bed and don't move. And ... action!
Bender: Stupid dumb coma ... coulda been British.
Calculon: Alas that mine only son should sink into an irreversible, permanent ... coma.
Bender: Permanent? That's completely out of character for Antonio. I'm gettin' up.
Calculon: Curse the tragic wildebeest accident that-
Bender: Hey, everyone! Antonio here, but you can call me "Bender"! I got ants in my butt and I needs to strut. C'mon, baby! Come on!
Calculon: I'm not familiar with the type of thing I'm seeing.
Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass! Ooh, yeah! C'mon, baby! Come on! Yeah!
Director: Cut! That's the worst coma acting I've ever seen. We'll have to shoot it again.
Calculon: No! No, no, no. I don't do two takes.
Director: But this guy was-
Calculon: Amateurs like you do two takes. I do one take. Print it. I'll be in my three-storey trailer.
Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass! Ooh, yeah! C'mon, baby! Come on! Yeah!
Bender: Now that's hospital dancing. Pretty good, eh, Calcky?
Calculon: Good? I've seen better acting from extras in Godzilla movies. I don't even remember shooting this scene.
Director: We didn't. That's security camera footage from your dressing room.
Calculon: He stole the scene and my money? That's it! I demand you fire this felonious ham!
Director: The network Execubots are coming!
Calculon: Oh, dear God!
Betabot: Presenting the president of the network.
Network President: Greetings, gentlemen. You already know my Execubots Executive Alpha, programmed to like things it has seen before.
Alphabot: Hey, hey, hey.
Network President: Executive Beta, programmed to roll dice to determine the fall schedule.
Betabot: More reality shows.
Network President: And Executive Gamma, programmed to underestimate middle America.
Gammabot: It's funny but is it going to get them off their tractors?
Network President: Now, who put this obnoxious, dancing robot on my network?
Director: We were about to fire him, sir.
Network President: Silence, hack! We've been monitoring our Nielsen families carefully. And during the 12 seconds Bender was on screen, viewer eyeball focus was up 90%.
Calculon: But, sir, children watch this show. Bender's no role model, he's a filth monger!
Network President: At our network, we love filth! Filthy rich, that is! Being filthy rich, that is! "Bite my shiny metal ass" could be a catchphrase.
Alphabot: 80% likely.
Gammabot: It will play in Peoria.
Betabot: Gameshows are back.
Network President: We need this edgy, sweeps-ready robot on our network. Bender? Can you continue to drink, smoke and steal things on TV?
Bender: Yes, I can.
Tinny Tim: Yeah! Shooting!
Dwight: Alright!
Dwight: Yo! Check out what I jacked from my dad.
Cubert: A cigar!
Tinny Tim: Ripping!
Dwight: Look! I'm Bender!
Hermes: Ras H. Tafari! What's goin' on here?
Farnsworth: The ruffians smoked one of your cigars.
Hermes: That's not a cigar. Uh ... and it's not mine!
Cubert: Hey, Dad! Bite my shiny metal ass!
Farnsworth: What? Such an act would be most uncomfortable for both of us! Where did you learn such language?
Tinny Tim: From Bender, my good jerkwad.
Hermes: Bender, eh? That guy's really startin' to twist my dreads.
Bender: OK, OK, OK. Get ready for this part.
Zoidberg: Quiet, robot! Bender's on TV.
Monique: Oh, Calculon, it's so good to get away from the city and that beastly, yet intriguing, Bender.
Bender: Try this, kids at home!
Linda: Is television sensation Bender a bad role model for Earth children?
Bender: That's crazy!
Linda: A new protest group, Fathers Against Rude Television, says "Hell, yes!"
Fry: Pft! What kind of bozos would start a Bender protest group?
Farnsworth: Good news, everyone. Hermes and I have started a Bender protest group.
Zoidberg: That was uncanny.
Hermes: Fathers Against Rude Television don't want our kids watching Bender's high-definition filth.
Farnsworth: And for what? Some kind of cheap laugh? That's not what F-A-R-T is all about.
Hermes: No, sir! Not us FARTers.
Bender: Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't censor me just 'cause I'm an obscenely bad role model.
Leela: As unclean as it makes me feel, I agree with Bender. Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV.
Fry: Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools.
Cubert: Our dads are all pumped up on dork-osterone. We're just trying to be cool, like Bender.
Dwight: Yeah, and it's not even working. Smoking and drinking make us barf.
Tinny Tim: Gentle jerkwads. I know how to emulate Bender without barfing. We could commit a burglary.
Dwight: Hey, yeah!
Cubert: Bender loves to burgle!
Dwight: Hold up, though. Who could we rob? We don't even know anyone with cool stuff.
Cubert: Duh! We know someone who runs on pure cool fuel Bender!
Dwight: Whoa!
Tinny Tim: We'll rob Bender!
Dwight: TV gave us the idea.
Bender: You're watching Futurama, the show that does not advocate the cool crime of robbery.
Cubert: OK. It's crime time.
Fry: Hey, Bender. Hey, Bender. Hey, Bender. Hey, Bender.
Farnsworth: What's going on in here? Oh. Now I'm really outraged.
Hermes: Where did you requisition this party? And Zoidberg, what are you doing here?
Zoidberg: I'm networking. Let me give you my card.
Cubert: Relax, Dad. We just invited a few friends over.
Farnsworth: Hmm. There's something wrong with your story but I can't put my finger on it. Of course! You don't have friends!
Hermes: Yeah. Why do these popular kids consider you cool all of a sudden?
Dwight: Um ... we're just cool, is all!
Farnsworth: Balderdash! I'll be the judge of who's cool, using the cool-o-meter!
Cool-O-Meter: Oh, yeah!
Farnsworth: Good Lord! I'm getting a reading of over 40 mega-Fonzies.
Hermes: Everybody out!
Zoidberg: So, do you guys know about anything else going on, because I'm totally still ready to party.
Hermes: There's enough cool stuff here to furnish a happenin' pad. Where did it all come from?
Tinny Tim: Don't tell, comrades. All for one and one for all!
Dwight: We stole it!
Tinny Tim: Oh, crumb!
Bender: What? What's going on?
Farnsworth: I'll tell you what. Our boys have taken up stealing! One of the worst and coolest of crimes.
Hermes: And all from watching you on TV, you cool jerk.
Bender: Hey, lay off me. TV would stink if everyone on it was a positive role model. Bender is about entertainment, baby! You can't hold me responsible for what kids do when- Hey! This is my stuff they stole! That's the last straw! Bender should not be allowed on television!
Bender: Bender must be stopped. I've gone too far. Who does that guy think I am? Come on! We're gonna march all the way to Hollywood and make them stop forcing their filthy me down our throats!
Fart Mob: Down with Bender! Down with Bender! Down with Bender! Down with Bender!
Bender: This mob's with me.
Security Guard: Go ahead.
Fart Mob: Down with Bender! Down with Bender! Down with Bender! Down with- Bender! Down with Bender!
Calculon: As a doctor and captain of this hospital ship, I now pronounce you man and wife with six months to live.
Farnsworth: Listen up, Hollywood. We're an exciting, new mob.
Bender: Yeah!
Hermes: You'd better believe it!
Calculon: Great Shatner's ghost!
Bender: We demand that all TV's be equipped with a B-Chip that blocks Bender from appearing on the screen.
Farnsworth: Booya!
Network President: I'm afraid the answer is a gritty, in-your-face no.
Bender: Then I quit.
Network President: Then you don't quit. I think you'll be finishing the scene now, Mr. Bender. And don't skimp on the nasty.
Farnsworth: There'll be no further nasty. We still have the option of resorting to violence.
Hermes: What makes you think that'll work?
Farnsworth: I saw it on TV in that episode where Bender shot Calculon. How cool was that?
Bender: Ooh, yeah! C'mon-
Farnsworth: Quit the show!
Network President: Do the scene.
Farnsworth: I'm a cold-blooded punk!
Network President: I once put a laugh track on a sitcom that had no jokes in it.
Bender: Hey, look! The prop guy has a lamp!
Network President: Really?
Farnsworth: Wha?
Bender: Aha!
Farnsworth: I was using that!
Bender: Listen up, 'cause I've got a climactic speech! You, cameraman, keep the camera rolling. You, director, gimmie my motivation.
Director: You're angry.
Bender: Perfect. Viewers of the world, do smoking and drinking on TV really make me cool? Of course they do. How 'bout committing crimes and violence? Again, the answer is "yes". But do we really want our kids exposed to that kind of trash on TV? I say absolutely not! Uh ... on the other hand, most, perhaps all the blame, rests with the parents. That's right, you! And so I ask you this one question Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
Hermes: We're just so busy.
Bender: Well make time.
Director: And ... cut!
Calculon: Good enough. Splice in some reaction shots of me and shove it on the air.
Bender: Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
Hermes: Well, I'd say we all learned a valuable lesson about TV there.
Cubert: What was it?
Farnsworth: Uh ... that we should all take TV a little less seriously. And more importantly, turn it off once in a while.
Fry: Hear, hear!
Leela: Yeah!
Bender: Damn right!
Dwight: So, should we turn it off now?
Farnsworth: Well, uh, that depends what's on.
Fry: Nothing good.
Farnsworth: Ah, let's just keep watching.
Bender: TV party tonight!
Farnsworth: Wha?
Bender: TV party tonight!
Farnsworth: Oh!
Fry: We've got nothing better to do.
Leela: Than watch TV and have a couple of brews!
Zoidberg: Don't wanna talk about anything else.
Fry: We don't wanna know!
Farnsworth: We're dedicated, yes!
Hermes: To our favourite shows!
Cubert: All My Circuits
Dwight: Everybody Loves Hypno-Toad!
Amy: Scary Door!
Leela: Blernsday Night Blernsball!
Bender: Futurama!