Hermes: So there it is, people. Due to budget cutbacks, we will no longer be offering free squid guts in the kitcken.
Farnsworth: Oh, boo-hoo! Everyone, look at my latest invention.
Zoidberg: Okay.
Amy: I like how it's not killing us so far.
Farnsworth: It takes any object and makes two smaller copies!
Bender: Why?
Farnsworth: You see... As I age, I've been shrinking and feeling colder. So now I need twice as many sweaters in a smaller size. First, I scan the old sweater. Then, we add some matter. Any old, useless matter will do. Now, the matter prism reorganises the raw material into two smaller copies.
Fry: So that's where babies' sweaters come from!
The Scary Door Narrator: Enclosed as a PDF attachment, a picture of yourself in a boat on a river. It's a river that flows in two directions. Make that three. It's a magic river, that's how. And it's flowing down the eerie canal to... The Scary Door. That's eerie with two Es. Consider, if you have the energy, Dr. Daniel Zenus, an inventor with a terminal case of the lazies.
Dr. Daniel Zenus: This Robot will do everything for me. Robot, activate yourself and do my research. Ah!
Dr. Daniel Zenus: Next, assume my social obligations.
Official: Dr. Zenus, for a lifetime of scientific achievement, we present this award to... Your Robot.
Boy: Daddy, I love you.
Dr. Daniel Zenus: If only I'd programmed the Robot to be more careful what I wished for. Robot, experience this tragic irony for me.
Robot: No!
Dr. Daniel Zenus: Ah!
Bender: Ah!
Fry: Man, I wish we had a Robot to do stuff.
Bender: I know, right?
Farnsworth: Bender, thank God I found you in time. I need someone in the lab immediately to fold my new sweaters.
Bender: I'm sorry. Do you see a Robot in this room named Folder?
Farnsworth: Fortunately, I came prepared with a backup phrasing. Uh, Bender, would you mind bending my new sweaters? There's only two of them.
Bender: Hey! Oh! You want me to do two things? Man, I'd call my lawyer if diallin' the phone wasn't such a hassle.
[Scene: The Planet Express laboratory. Bender enters and sees the two unfolded sweaters. He mutters.]
<Poem>Bender: Razzle, frazzle, two things! Ooh. Razzle, frazzle, duplicator. Now for some tasty matter. Howdy, fellas! I'm Bender.
Bender Duplicate: Go to hell, old man.
Bender: I like your attitude. Let's party. But, first, fold these two sweaters.
Bender Duplicates: I'm sorry. Do you see a Robot in this room named Folder?
Bender: Damn, you're cute.
Bender: Hi! I'm Bender, this is my Robot Bender, and this is my other Robot Bender.
Leela: Oh, Lord.
Bender: They're 60%-scaled replicas of me, Bender.
Leela: Does that mean they only do 60% of the work you do or that they actually do more work because they're only 60% as lazy?
Bender: Shut up. That's a good one.
Farnsworth: Enough good ones, everyone. We have a delivery to an Alien space giant.
Hermes: You'll have to be respectful. This customer is fifty-feet tall and sensitive about his appearance.
Amy: Colossal tooth whitener, mega deodorant, humongous acne cream... Aw, and one regular-sized condom.
Bender: All that and a small wiener? This guy's got it goin' on.
Leela: Remember Don't show any reaction to his appearance.
Bender: I hope that's vanishing cream, 'cause that needs to go away.
Bender Duplicate: That's cold-blooded.
Leela: Shhh!
Unattractive Giant Monster: It's okay. I understand. My unusual appearance makes people nervous. You used humour to defuse the tension.
Bender: Yup. And there's still a little more tension, so look out. You so ugly, when trick-or-treaters come to your house, they give you candy.
Bender Duplicate #1: You so ugly, when you go to the bank, they ask you to put on a ski mask.
Bender Duplicate #2: You so ugly, you crack the Daily Mirror. It's a newspaper!
Unattractive Giant Monster: I wish it weren't so, but many of these things are true. Anyhow, you've lowered my self-esteem a bit more, but I'm sincerely grateful you came all this way to deliver my fungus chizzle.
Fry: Don't feel bad, sir. It's not your fault. You probably just inherited your appearance from your mother.
Unattractive Giant Monster: What?! No one insults my momma.
Bender: Oh, God! Shield your eyes! It's like Edward James Olmos on IMAX.
Left Bender Duplicate: Did you see his face when I said he's so ugly?
Right Bender Duplicate: No, I blacked out. 'Cause he's so ugly!
Bender: Hey, guys, quit reminiscing and grab me two cigars.
Left Bender Duplicate: One thing each?
Right Bender Duplicate: Sounds fair.
Bender: Wait. Make that four cigars.
Bender Duplicates: You want us to do four things?
Hermes: My manwich!
Bender Duplicate: What's up, Shorty?
Bender: And that's the story of how one of me became two and two became four, makin' seven total. The end.
Leela: I just like having the end locker. It's not like Amy cares about it at all. But no, she won't trade with me.
Zoidberg: A rat!
Leela: Yes! She is a rat!
Zoidberg: No! Look!
Very Small Bender: Which way to the tiny hookers?
Amy: A big, fat roach!
Hermes: What? I thought I put that away.
Amy: No! There!
Bender On The Other Side: Who're you?
Insect-Sized Bender: Bender sent me.
Insect-Sized Bender: Hey, I know that guy!
Farnsworth: Scruffy, what is that tiny Bender doing in my soup?!
Scruffy: It appears to be giving you the finger, sir. Enjoy.
Bender Duplicate: Help me! Help me! I'm too lazy to escape!
Bender Duplicate: Ow.
Bender: What?
Hermes: This place is crawling with yous!
Bender: So there's more Benders around. As far as I'm concerned, that's good news!
Farnsworth: Bad news, everyone! Look at this infinite series representing the mass of successive generations of Benders.
Fry: Don't wait for me.
Farnsworth: It's nonconvergent!
Fry: Oh, dip!
Farnsworth: Unless we quickly exterminate them, they'll replicate ad infinitum and consume all the matter on Earth. According to my calculations, there are eleven generations at the moment. That's 2046 total Benders we need to destroy.
Bender: Wait. Does that include me?
Bender: Too bad he didn't have his own Bible.
Farnsworth: Just 2045 more to go!
Hermes: 2045, 2046. That's it. We got 'em all except for the big one.
Amy: Wait. This isn't a real Bender. It's a talking doll from when Bender had that sitcom about the city Robot who moves back to the farm.
Bender Doll: Shut your pumpkin, bumpkin.
Bender: Alright. So I let one measly Bender get away. How much harm can one infinitely self-reproducing Robot do?
Leela: Bender! How could you be so lazy and irresponsible?
Bender: Wait, what? Did someone say I'm great?
Bender: What's with the grey goo?
Microscopic Bender: Bite my tiny metal ass.
Bender: Hey! Those jerklings ate my couch.
Farnsworth: Oh, God. We've opened Pandora's fly. They'll reproduce without limit, consuming all the matter in the world.
Fry: Like the Kardashians.
Bender: Now they drank my booze?! They've gone too far!
Leela: Wait a second. All Benders are powered by alcohol!
Farnsworth: Of course! Long before the Benders devour the Earth, they'll deplete the planet's booze and die off. This is a problem that will solve itself.
Bender: A problem that solves itself? That sounds like a job for me, Bender.
Morbo: Our top story All alcohol on Earth has mysteriously disappeared. Consequences are minimal, except among the most hardened alcoholics. Linda?
Linda: I can no longer face my children!
Leela: Crisis averted. Without alcohol, the Benders are dying off!
Scruffy: A greater tragedy my eyes have never beheld. Well, into the terlet.
Bender: So sober, so weak...
Leela: Things really worked out nicely this time.
Farnsworth: This doesn't taste like old-man water.
Farnsworth: Everyone to The Situation Room!
Farnsworth: I was lying here, snoozing, dreaming, oddly enough, about bathing in champagne with six of the world's most distinguished scientists, when suddenly I realised my bathwater had been transformed into alcohol.
Bender: Alcohol?
Fry: Chug! Chug!
Bender: It's like fine cognac with a hint of aged scrotum.
Leela: How can this be? I thought the Benders drank all the alcohol in the world!
Farnsworth: They did. But then they made more! You see, once the Benders reached atomic scale, they began directly manipulating water and CO2 molecules to make alcohol. In a matter of hours, there will be no more fresh water on Earth.
Bender: Oh, no! What will I mix with my Scotch?
Linda: Hey, you! Good evening. Who're you calling drunk? You're not drunk! I'm drunk.
Morbo: That's right, Linda. Water is now- Now booze and everyone's tetty much protally fitshaced.
Linda: Turning to sports, the Indy 500 was today. There were no survivors.
Amy: This chair is so comfortable.
Bender: Classic Amy.
Hermes: You wanna see a picture of my boy?
Zoidberg: Sure. That's your penis!
Hermes: That's my boy!
Leela: I guess this is a... Not so bad. As long as we don't need to use our mental... Mental...
Fry: Minds?
Leela: Wha?
Fry: No, listen. I... freakin' love you. But I don't throw that word around!
Farnsworth: Oh, I know you don't. That's why I love you. Are the pizza muffins ready?
Fry: He's here for revenging. That's why.
Unattractive Giant Monster: No! Wait! I'm here to apologise.
Leela: For your looks? Nice one.
Unattractive Giant Monster: Well, yes, actually. It is sort of related to that. Can we talk? Grabbing your spaceship was not okay. I lost my cool and I'm sorry. In group, I learned that I tend to be a bit...
Hermes: Repulsive?
Unattractive Giant Monster: Sensitive. So now I'm, like, trying to work on my attitude and project an air of positivity.
Zoidberg: You're projecting an air of something.
Amy: You're so stinky, you need right guard and left guard.
Unattractive Giant Monster: I'll take your hygiene advice to heart.
Farnsworth: You're ugly!
Unattractive Giant Monster: Hey! Ow!
Zapp: Yo, freakshow! Your face has been declared a weapon of mass disgusting!
Kif: Timeless.
Unattractive Giant Monster: Okay, deep breath, deep breath. Dr. Lesterman? I'm sorry to bother you, but I think I'm close to a temper-control incident.
Female Voice: You have reached the office of Dr. Judy Lesterman and Dr. Ira Rodkiss. The office is now closed. If this is a pharmacy call-
Unattractive Giant Monster: That's it! I promised myself I wouldn't do this, but I... I will destroy you all. I won't stop until your whole planet is as ugly as you perceived me to be!
Zapp: That will take a very long time.
Kif: Oh, God! Stop. Stop.
Bender: Ah!
Fry: Blunder? You're the only one who's sober. You gotta do somethin'.
Bender: Haven't I done enough already?
Fry: Please... Stop the monster. Just do that one thing.
Bender: Make it zero and you got a deal.
Fry: What if I folded the Professor's sweaters for you?
Bender: Both of them?! You mean you'll do two things and I only have to do one thing?
Fry: Yeah. To save the world.
Fry: Sucker.
Bender: Legion of Benders, come onto me. We have one thing to do!
Bender Duplicates: Screw that.
Bender: Oh, come on, you lazy jerks. If we all pitch in, we each only have to do one quintillionth of a thing.
Bender Duplicates: Alright.
Bender: Whoa. Big Bender starts right now.
Unattractive Giant Monster: Get a shave, ugly!
Bender: How about some aftershave, dumpy?
Unattractive Giant Monster: You big bully!
Bender: You ugly nerd! Enjoy a nice guggenheim swirley. Let this beatin' be a lesson about never attacking those more handsome than oneself.
Unattractive Giant Monster: All I wanted was to apologise to you people! But now I have to kill you.
Bender: How? By makin' me look at you?
Unattractive Giant Monster: No. By makin' you look at... My momma!
Bender: Your momma's so ugly!
Unattractive Giant Monster: I told you not to talk about my momma!
Male Voice: Walk toward the light, Bender.
Bender: Aw, man. Do I have to walk?
Fry: No!
Unattractive Giant Monster: No! At last, I'm beautiful.
Bender: Yeah, if you're in the grave dust.
Fry: Bender, you did it!
Bender: No, we did it. Ladies and gentlemen, if together we were able to defeat this giant space monster, think how also we might defeat the monsters of poverty and disease and unliteracy. In this spirit, I ask my fellow Benders to join me in working diligently to-
Bender Duplicate A: Go to hell!
Bender Duplicate B: Come on. Let's go some place where we don't have to do one quintillionth of a thing all the time.
Bender: Well, that was dumb.
Fry: Looks like it's full of dig dogs.
Amy: Man, we're way drunk. What happened, Professor?
Farnsworth: Something absolutely incredible! The sweaters got folded.
Zoidberg: But how?
Fry: I didn't do it. Bender, did you learn a lesson about not bein' lazy while the rest of us were bombed out of our gourds?
Bender: Maybe I did, Fry. Maybe I did. Or maybe I rescued one last mini-Bender to fold stupid, ugly sweaters while I laughed at him. I guess we'll never know.


Man: Mom on deck! Ten-
Mom: Alright, grunts. Here's your pre-mission pep talk. Shoot anyone who doesn't obey hard enough.
Man: But-
Mom: Stop gaining knowledge, Hubert! It's a simple mission. The grunts catch the Alien, the surgeon guts it, and you smuggle the poison parts back here.
Farnsworth: Eh, something about poison. Got it. Eh, by the way, that surgeon... Where is he?
Mom: You! Where's the butcher?!
Man: Ma'am, I dunno, ma'am. 'Is duffel bag arrived.
Zoidberg: It's not a duffel bag. It's my apartment.
Mom: Hubert, meet John Zoidberg. You need an Alien hacked to pieces, he's the best there is. In the budget category.
Farnsworth: Have you ever dissected a Yeti before?
Zoidberg: Pfff. Himalayan or Neptunian?
Farnsworth: Tritonian.
Zoidberg: A Tritonian Yeti?! You two aren't up to anything unethical, are you?!
Mom: Relax. There's nothing unethical about covert biological weapons research. I said, "Relax."
Farnsworth: Ah, Zoidberg. We've known each other so long that... Sometimes, I don't think we even need words to understand each other.
Zoidberg: What?
Leela: Once and for all, Fry, even though it's the future, most objects are still just objects. Not Aliens who look like objects.
Fry: So my efforts to establish diplomatic relations with the cactus people were doomed from the start.
Zoidberg: So you're in pain and 'ave a bunch o' needles. I prescribe acupuncture. Let's begin. Blood?! I mean, "Blood."
Fry: Put it back in me!
Zoidberg: I'm afraid Fry lost a lotta juice. He's developed Simpsons jaundice.
Fry: ¡Ay, caramba!
Zoidberg: His only hope is some replacement liver. Yours looks like a good match.
Leela: Well, if it'll help Fry-
Fry: Careful, Leela! He knows less about Human anatomy than I do. And I can't even find my own uterus!
Zoidberg: You may feel a slight sawing!
Zoidberg: And all we need is a little spine supplement to replace what Leela lost in that unavoidable saw mix-up.
Leela: It wasn't unavoidable! You just had to stop cutting my spine when I yelled, "Stop! You're cutting my spine!"
Fry: Quit complaining! My body rejected your liver and now I've got Garfield syndrome. I hate Mondays.
Zoidberg: Anyhow, Hermes, all Leela needs is one of your vertebrae.
Hermes: But, Doctor, will I be able to limbo afterwards?
Zoidberg: Could you limbo before? Wait. I say, "Yes." And you say, "I couldn't limbo before." You ruined the joke, Hermes!
Zoidberg: There you go, Leela. Good as new!
Leela: Whoa! Whoa!
Fry: Oh, sure.
Leela: Whoa!
Fry: Leela's fine. But my jaundice has progressed a Muppet gangrene. It's not easy being gangrenous.
Hermes: I thought you were only gonna take out one vertebra!
Zoidberg: Yeah, but did you ever play Jenga? Sometimes, you pull one and-
Fry: Oh, yeah? Well, I've got news for ya. I'm not stayin' like this. You're the Doctor!
Zoidberg: Hmmm. What started out as a pleasant afternoon of drugs and surgery has not gone as planned. But don't worry. We still 'ave three or four coworkers with plenty of spare parts.
Zoidberg: My first mission. I'm so excited. And, after I dissect the Yeti's poison glands, we can stop maybe for ice cream on the way back? With sprinkles on?
Farnsworth: Why, you're just a big kid, aren't you, Zoidberg?
Zoidberg: A very big kid.
Man: We're over the drop zone, gentlemen. Might I suggest you jump out the door and poop yourselves.
Zoidberg: So, anyway, I hope the men 'ave been taking their hypermalaria pills.
Farnsworth: Their wha?!
Zoidberg: "Their wha?!" That's funny. Like a crazy, old man. But you know what's not funny? Deadly Tritonian hypermalaria. Just be sure to stay outta the methane swamps. What smells like methane?
Doctor: My God. I've never seen such a gruesome shark attack. Especially this far inland.
Leela: It wasn't a shark. It was an awful, incompetent doctor.
Doctor: Wow. He must've been a total Zoidberg.
Hermes: It was Zoidberg! He brutalised us with power tools, gypsy curses, and hypnosis!
Amy: Yes, master.
Doctor: You'll all get through this. I give you my word as a real doctor.
Bender: What about me?
Doctor: What did 'e do to you?
Bender: I dunno exactly, but... I'm incontinent.
Doctor: I'm truly sorry.
Fry: I consider myself a reasonable man. Quick with a joke. Slow to anger. But Bender can't go on long car trips anymore an' I say Zoidberg must die!
Hermes: People, please! Let's not overreact- Death to the crab!
Farnsworth: How bad is it, Doctor?
Zoidberg: Super bad. It's Tritonian hypermalaria. A lot of these men will be dead within twenty-four hours.
Man: What?!
Zoidberg: Not you, though! You'll make a complete recovery and go on to marry a super model! Funny plague, hypermalaria. It can kill immediately. Or lie dormant for decades. But, sooner or later, it erupts, causing fever, spasms, madness, coma, and finally... Death.
Man: What?!
Zoidberg: Super model!
Farnsworth: Oh! Those poor, doomed bastards. I guess it's up to me to complete the mission.
Farnsworth: I'll be in the swamp, blowing the smirk off a toxic Yeti.
Hermes: Professor, we need to talk! Man-to-mob. You need to listen to us! Yes, you do!
Leela: We've had it with Zoidberg! We demand you fire him!
Farnsworth: Nonsense! Zoidberg's a fine physician. For Aliens. Your mistake is being Humans! No. If I'm going to fire anyone, it'll be Scruffy.
Hermes: Ya can't do that!
Bender: What did Scruffy ever do to you?!
Amy: Over my dead body!
Bender: Don't you get it, old man? Thanks to Dr. Scissor Hands, I wet myself every time I laugh. It's not funny! Well... I guess it is kinda funny. Uh-oh.
Hermes: Why are you protecting Zoidberg, Professor? Do you owe him something?
Leela: Is he blackmailing you somehow?
Amy: What does 'e have on you?! Why have you kept 'im around all these years when 'e's so grossly incompetent?!
Farnsworth: Long ago, Zoidberg an' I entered into a secret arrangement relating to certain extraordinary events too horrible to reveal. So there's nothing to be curious about!
Farnsworth: Stop or I'll shoot! Zoidberg?!
Zoidberg: You can't hunt a Yeti by yourself, sir. It's suicidal.
Farnsworth: So what?! I'm going to die of hypermalaria, anyway. I was in the same swamp as the rest of the men.
Zoidberg: Just because you were in the swamp, doesn't necessarily mean-
Farnsworth: I was thirsty from the flight! I drank swamp water! Look, Zoidberg. You're a loyal friend.
Zoidberg: Friend?!
Farnsworth: But I'm doomed. I might as well capture a Yeti and die trying.
Zoidberg: Then you'll need someone to dissect it! Friend.
Farnsworth: Go, Johnny! Go! That's an order!
Zoidberg: Never! Zoidberg doesn't abandon a friend apparently.
Farnsworth: Ooh! Ooh-ho-ho!
Zoidberg: I'll save us! By scaring 'im off with my crazy war noise! Crunch all you want. I'll make more.
Zoidberg: Oy. I lost another one.
Leela: Zoidberg... I'm sorry to break it to you this way, but we hate you and we never wanna see you again.
Zoidberg: But, friends-
Hermes: We're not your friends! We're your victims!
Zoidberg: I was just trying to-
Amy: Shut up and give me my kidney back!
Zoidberg: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Fry: We dunno why the Professor keeps you around here and we don't care! You're a terrible doctor! Nobody wants to see you ever again!
Farnsworth: Dr. Zoidberg, I want to see you right now!
Farnsworth: The time 'as come, my friend. We have to talk about... Our arrangement.
Zoidberg: Oh, no! No! No! Oh, no, no, no! Oh, no!
Zoidberg: Oh, no!
Farnsworth: Unpaw him, you big ape! I saw this in a Tarzan movie. It was called... Tarzan versus the Yetis. I lost my virginity... Ooh! During the film. So I'm... Hah! A little fuzzy on the details. Oh! John... Are you alright?
Zoidberg: You! You saved my life!
Farnsworth: Oh, fuff.
Zoidberg: Yes, fuff. How can I ever repay you?! Do you need a slave? Or maybe a butler?
Farnsworth: No, I haven't needed a butler since grad school. But I do need a doctor. I don't wanna die like those marines, John. The fever! The madness!
Zoidberg: Don't forget the spasms, coma, and death.
Farnsworth: I don't want to go through that! I want you to kill me!
Zoidberg: Alright. Give me the knife.
Farnsworth: Not now! Hypermalaria can lie dormant for years. Isn't that what you said?
Zoidberg: It sounds like something I would say.
Farnsworth: So stay with me until the symptoms start. Then... Put me out of my misery. You must swear!
Zoidberg: Alright, Hubert. I swear.
Farnsworth: It's started, Zoidberg. The fever. The muscle spasms. I'm dying. It's time for you to keep your promise and kill me.
Zoidberg: This is very difficult. But I'll try... Friend.
Farnsworth: No! Wait! I'm afraid to die!
Zoidberg: Argh! You said you wanted me to kill you! Is this one o' those "No means yes" deals?!
Farnsworth: Yes and no. I do want you to kill me. But I mustn't see it coming. That would be agony! So you must murder me completely by surprise.
Zoidberg: As God is my witness, you can count on me. Well... See you tomorrow.
Farnsworth: Not surprising enough!
Farnsworth: Eh, wha?! Oh! My... Heart!
Fry: Hey!
Leela: What are you doing there?
Farnsworth: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Zoidberg: Stop! You don't understand!
Leela: Let's go, you murderer! Fry, help me lock 'im up!
Fry: Hang on. I'm learnin' how to do loop-de-loops.
Farnsworth: Whoa! Whoa! Woo!
Zoidberg: You're making a mistake! I was only trying to kill the Professor!
Bender: Ooh.
Zoidberg: Hubert... I'm sorry. Wha?! He doesn't have hair. Great Little Caesar's ghost!
Farnsworth: You fools! You stupid, life-prolonging fools! I asked Zoidberg to kill me!
Amy: Huh?!
Bender: What you talkin' 'bout, Professor?!
Hermes: Professor, have you gone mad?!
Farnsworth: Probably! It's one o' the symptoms of Tritonian hypermalaria!
Amy: You mean the incurable disease that causes fever... Spasms... Insanity... Coma... And finally death?!
Farnsworth: Yes! And I begged Zoidberg to put me out of my misery! Bring 'im! Quickly!
Scruffy: Hmmm. Should've known better than to store my antiques in the office.
Leela: Zoidberg, we were wrong! We're letting you out so you can kill the Professor!
Zoidberg: Woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop.
Amy: Oh, no! He sand-crabbed out!
Leela: Then we have no choice. We'll have to mercy-kill the Professor ourselves.
Bender: Well, let's get started.
Walt: We have a situation, Mother. This creature tried to sand-crab into the building.
Mom: Zoidberg?!
Zoidberg: Sorry I didn't call first, Carol. Uh... But I'm in a hurry! I need your help to save Hubert!
Mom: Let him go and stooge the hell out of here!
Larry: We're on it.
Walt: Ow!
Igner: Ow!
Larry: Ow!
Zoidberg: Beautiful kids. You must be very proud!
Mom: John Zoidberg... It's been a long time. How've you been?
Zoidberg: Not too bad. Last year, I took a bus trip to the Grand Canyon. Later, I'll show you the pictures.
Mom: Do you ever regret it, John? Leaving me to work for the Professor?
Zoidberg: What do you want me to say? 'E saved my life.
Mom: Oh, big deal! You could've been rich if you'd stayed. Your own lab... A full staff...
Zoidberg: But Hubert is my friend. 'E's very sick. I can cure him. But I need the thing! The thing... From Triton!
Mom: It'll cost you, John. How much are you worth now?
Zoidberg: I live in a dumpster. All I have in the world is this coupon for one free session at the tanning salon.
Mom: Oh, John. That's really all you have? Then I'll take it.
Scruffy: Okay. Murdolator's finished.
Bender: I said I'd kill 'im myself! Nobody listens to Bender!
Leela: We all have to share in the guilt. Which is why we're each going to add one drop of cyanide to the death wheel as it goes by.
Scruffy: Commence mercy-killing... In three... Two... Ayup.
Hermes: Kill-check one is go!
Leela: Yay!
Amy: Woohoo!
Fry: Kill-check two is go!
Humans: Ooh!
Woman: Wow!
Hattie: It's about time.
Female Voice: Vegetables activated.
Bender: Kill-check three is go! Also, the salad's ready.
Leela: Yay, salad!
Amy: Yay!
Zoidberg: What the hell are you doing?!
Leela: Zoidberg! We know about your secret agreement. I am so, so sorry for how we treated you.
Fry: And, to make it up to you, we're killing the Professor for you so he doesn't die horribly from hypermalaria.
Zoidberg: 'E doesn't have hypermalaria, you idiots! 'E has Yetiism. When 'e saved my life all those years ago, 'e was scratched by a Yeti!
Fry: Hmmm. I consider myself almost completely ignorant of modern medicine. And I've never heard of Yetiism.
Zoidberg: It mimics the symptoms of hypermalaria exactly. Except for the part where, instead of dying, you turn into a Yeti! Wow! Hold 'im down while I prepare the antidote.
Leela: Another Yeti?!
Zoidberg: Yes. The same jerk that once noshed on me like a shrimp toast. Now, who's getting 'is pineal gland extracted? Ah, yes. This contains a concentrated form of the Yeti neurotoxin.
Hermes: But that's what gave 'im Yetiism in the first place! Won't it just make 'im a double Yeti?!
Zoidberg: Don't lecture me about Alien physiology, Conrad! The pineal neurotoxin neutralises the adrenal neurotoxin. That's why Yetis don't drive themselves mad!
Fry: My God. He's like some kinda believable Hulk!
Zoidberg: No time for an injection. Uh! I'll be damned. It did make 'im a double Yeti!
Amy: It wasn't supposed to do any of those things.
Farnsworth: You did it, Johnny. I'm cured!
Bender: Wow! Alright, let's set it up and try again.
Farnsworth: There's one thing I don't understand, Zoidberg. How did you persuade Mom to give you her precious Yeti head? Did you 'ave to promise anything in return?
Zoidberg: Nothing. Nothing at all.
Amy: This calls for a celebration! Come on, everyone! Let's go tanning!
Bender: Hooray!
Farnsworth: Yay!
Zoidberg: I was going to tan... Once.
Farnsworth: What do you say, Johnny? It's on me.
Zoidberg: Thank you, Hubert.
Farnsworth And Zoidberg: Woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop.


Hermes: Listen up, people.
Hermes: As long as nothing happens for the next fifteen minutes, our insurance will be reinstated, so let's just sit quietly and run out the clock.
Amy: A giant sausage!
Bender: Oh, God!
Hermes: Oh, God, no! Get out of here, you horrific sausage!
Leela: Wait! Isn't today the parade? It's just a giant balloon!
Fry: Giant balloon?
Bender: See, buddy? It's not so scary.
Fry: I feel better now. Why is so many different parades smooshed together?
Leela: It's the Parade Day parade.
Fry: What's Parade Day?
Farnsworth: It used to be that every group in New New York wanted their own parade. Why, when I was a boy, we had a parade every day. Those were dark times.
Leela: Now we just combine them all into one big Parade Day parade and get it over with.
Zoidberg: Hey, look! A fog is rolling in.
Hermes: No, that's just the Jamaican pride float.
Amy: Looks like it's speeding up.
Hermes: Oh, no! It's within munching distance of the Doritos float.
Zapp: Thank you! Thank you! Kif, you're slacking off of my waving arm.
Leela: Oh, no! It's heading right for those two nerds!
Manbot: Whoa! Sweet shirt, dude!
Man: Thanks. I have another one that says PALEONTOLOGISTS DO IT IN THE DIRT. I'm a palaeontologist.
Fry: I'll save one of you!
Woman: Oh, honey! I dig you so much! Thank you for saving my stupidly dressed husband. You're a hero!
Mayor Poopenmeyer: A hero indeed. What's your name, son?
Fry: I dunno. Fry?
Mayor Poopenmeyer: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to associate myself with a true hero. Mr. Fry, allow me to present you with the keys to the city. This one's for the deadbolt, this is for the top lock... I think this one's for the knob. The city's in a bad neighbourhood. Care to say a few words, son?
Fry: Uh... Heroes don't do drugs! Except for Drugman, I guess.
Mayor Poopenmeyer: I hereby declare that henceforth this Saturday shall be known as Fry-day!
Fry: It sure was nice of the Mayor's wife to have sex with me. Huh?
Bender: You!
Fry: What?
Bender: You could've saved the Robot, but instead you saved the Human. Do you think Human life is more precious than Robot life?
Fry: No, no... Well, yes, actually.
Bender: That's it. I'm killin' myself!
Leela: Oh, Lord.
Bender: Don't try and talk me out of it! Well?
Amy: Bender, you always say you're gonna kill yourself, but you almost never do.
Hermes: Yeah. Last time you went to the suicide booth, you ended up dating it for six months.
Leela: How is Lynn, by the way?
Bender: Livin' in Oregon with her crazy mother! See you at my funeral, suckers!
Bender: Kill me, please! And make it splatter!
Suicide Booth: With pleasure... Bender!
Bender: Lynn? Huh, wow, you look great. Fat, but great. I thought you were in Oregon.
Suicide Booth: My mom tried to commit suicide in me. I don't wanna talk about it.
Bender: Well, tell your mom I said hello and it's been nice catchin' up with you. Let's get this show on the road!
Suicide Booth: Oh, no! You're going to die, alright. But it won't be suicide. It'll be murder!
Bender: Missed me!
Fry: He did it. He actually did it this time.
Hermes: No way, mon. He's fakin' it. He really is gone. Everyone, put on your takin'-off caps.
Fry: Our what?
Farnsworth: It's a sign of respect, you savage!
Amy: Poor, nasty, mean, old Bender. I can't believe we'll never hear his evil laugh again.
Fry: I miss 'im so much.
Hermes: There, there, Fry. He may be gone, but he'll always be with us as a trash can.
Bender'S Ghost: Look at that loser gettin' garbage dumped in 'im. Glad I'm not him, whoever he is.
Leela: Fry, as his only friend, you should have first pick of body parts.
Bender'S Ghost: Just don't pick his nose! What's wrong with you guys? This is comedy gold!
Fry: He always had my back, so I'll take his arm, uh... As a backscratcher. I love you, Bender. Somebody hand me a bolt cutter.
Bender'S Ghost: Hey, dipshlits! That's not me. I'm right here. Hello! Pay attention to me!
Bender'S Ghost: Why can't anybody hear my witty remarks? This is Hell!
Robot Devil: Feh! You wish!
Bender'S Ghost: Robot Devil? You can hear me? Why is everyone else ignoring me?
Robot Devil: Isn't it obvious, Bender?
Bender'S Ghost: Yeah, I guess it is.
Robot Devil: You're dead!
Bender'S Ghost: What?! I thought I just had laryngitis and anti-gravity.
Robot Devil: Come down to my office and I'll explain everything.
Bender'S Ghost: So what's happenin' to me? And I'll take my answer in any form but a song!
Robot Devil: Oh, you're no fun. You see, Bender, it's simple. You're a ghost!
Bender'S Ghost: A g-g-g-g-ghost?!
Robot Devil: No, just the regular kind. Because you killed yourself, you're in Limbo. Your software was exported to the computational cloud.
Bender'S Ghost: Adoy! Wait, Adoy?
Robot Devil: Your disembodied programme is now running on the wireless network shared by all machinery.
Bender'S Ghost: Cut to the chase, Smokey! How do I get outta Limbo?
Robot Devil: That's the laughy part! You can't! You're stuck in an infinite loop.
Bender'S Ghost: An infinite loop? I don't have time for that. Man, this is all Fry's fault!
Robot Devil: Fry? I hate that guy. We once traded hands. They still stink of candy corn!
Bender'S Ghost: Get this That jerk said Human life was more valuable than Robot life!
Robot Devil: What?! After all you've done for him, Fry must die.
Bender'S Ghost: I know, right? I'd murder him good if only I was still alive.
Robot Devil: Bender, would you like to make a deal?
Bender'S Ghost: I'm not stupid... So yes, absolutely. What have I agreed to?
Robot Devil: I'll return you to your body... After you use your ghostly powers to scare Fry to death!
Bender'S Ghost: That sounds fair and also fun. I like that there's no catch this time.
Robot Devil: But wait. There's a catch.
Bender'S Ghost: Crap!
Robot Devil: If you fail, you'll spend eternity here in Robot Hell. Which, as luck would have it, is where I rehearse my band. Hit it, boys! Cigars are evil. You won't miss 'em-
Bender'S Ghost: Okay! I'll do it, I'll do it. Just stop the damn music!
Bender'S Ghost: Scare Fry to death? Ha. I could do that in my sleep. What are you, deaf?
Bender'S Ghost: Soap. I know Fry's afraid of that. Maybe he'll die if I rub 'im all over with it real slow. Whoa, it's sick! My software can control electronics.
Fry: What the- No! Not the armpits! Winter's coming!
Hermes: As you can see, since Bender's death, requests to bite one's shiny metal ass are down 98%. Do you mind doing that later?!
Scruffy: Bite my shiny metal ass.
Fry: Help! I was attacked in my bathroom! By my bathroom! I'm being haunted by a ghost!
Amy: Fry... You're just upset because you drove Bender to suicide. Here, take your mind off it with these soothing relaxation balls.
Bender'S Ghost: Alright. I got 'im all heebie-jeebied with my bathroom harass. One more good scare and I'll be outta Limbo!
Hermes: Did someone say Limbo?
Bender'S Ghost: Hold on to your dookie. It's about to get spooky.
Fry: I'm tellin' ya. Somethin' supernatural is happening. I'm scared to death!
Leela: Stop being ridiculous. There's no such thing as whatever you're saying.
Fry: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Leela: Whoa. Maybe you're right. I only meant to slap you twice.
Fry: All I know is I've got a ghost that needs busting.
Hermes: Who you gonna call?
Fry: Gho-
Female Voice: The number you have dialled has been lame since 1989.
Fry: Now do you believe me?!
Farnsworth: Oh, fuff. Enough of your superstitious nonsense. I'm sure that whatever is happening can be explained by science.
Gypsy: Let the séance begin!
Farnsworth: I said science!
Gypsy: The veil is lifting. I am gazing into the spirit world... And... Nothing. You said something about a buffet?
Bender'S Ghost: I'm right here, you lazy shyster!
Gypsy: Wait. I'm sensing something.
Bender'S Ghost: I'm rich! Aw.
Fry: Is it a ghost?!
Gypsy: There's no such thing as ghosts, you donkey monkey! It's a Robot ghost.
Fry: A Robot ghost?! What Robot would wanna haunt me?
Bender'S Ghost: Me, dumbass! Bender, Bender, Bender, Bender! Aw! Tell 'im, you baggy, old crone!
Farnsworth: Finally! Any more ridiculous ideas?
Reverend Preacherbot: Hallelujah! I'm here to conduct a exorcism and avail myself of the buffet. Can I get an amen and a goodly helpin' of Scruffy's famous corn biscuits?
Scruffy: Right away, Reverend.
Reverend Preacherbot: Oh, Lord. I got the too much macaroni sweats. Now where's this alleged apparition? Might be a problem with your circuit breaker. See ya.
Fry: Please! I'm under constant attack by machinery. I can't sleep, I can't think. I can't even think!
Reverend Preacherbot: Very well. This sacramental firewall scans for and removes ghostware in a twenty-foot radius.
Bender'S Ghost: Bring it on, holy man!
Reverend Preacherbot: Carry this at all times and the demon cannot harm you. It also keeps cats off the sofa. By killin' 'em!
Fry: So quiet! So peaceful! Time to lower my guard even for a minute. A heart attack! Yup, I was right.
Bender'S Ghost: Okay, Beelze. Fry's dead.
Robot Devil: A ghost! Oh, it's you.
Bender'S Ghost: A deal's a deal, so give me my body back.
Robot Devil: Fry's dead, you say? Funny. That's not what it says on his Wikipedia page.
Bender'S Ghost: Survived the heart attack?! Damn you, Obamacare!
Dr. Cahill: I'm afraid your heart has suffered a lot of damage, Mr. Fry. And my cleavage isn't helping.
Farnsworth: Not helping him.
Dr. Cahill: One more sudden shock will kill you.
Bender'S Ghost: Sudden? That's just the kind of one more shock I was plannin'.
Fry: The machines. They're after me!
Dr. Cahill: You're suffering from machine phobia. Your only hope is to go to the Amish homeworld, where no machines are allowed.
Fry: I guess it's for the best. The only machine I'll ever miss is... Bender.
Bender'S Ghost: Say what?
Fry: Now that he's gone, I realise how valuable a Robot life can be... When it belongs to my best friend.
Bender'S Ghost: That's the closest thing to Bender is great that anyone besides me has ever said.
Female Voice: Final boarding call for Flight 38 to the Amish homeworld. As a reminder, passengers are limited to two carry-on butter churns.
Bender'S Ghost: I'm sorry, Fry. I'm sorry! Wait for your ghost buddy!
Amish Man: Brother Fry, thou hast visitors.
Fry: Well, yank my beard. This be a surprise.
Leela: How are you, Fry?
Fry: Thank you for asking, English. My life is simple, but plain. And, though Bender be gone, somehow, I feel he's still with me.
Bender'S Ghost: I sure am, Brother Fry. Yo, big bonnet! Move your ugly but modest head covering. Oh, right. You can't hear me.
Robot Devil: Oh, I hear you loud and clear.
Bender'S Ghost: You're not Granny Hester! What have you done with Granny Hester?!
Robot Devil: She's naked, but unharmed. And now, Bender, it's time to fulfil your end of the deal.
Bender'S Ghost: Sorry. I'm not gonna kill Fry. Take me to Hell for all eternity. Just as long as my little bearded meatbag gets to live.
Robot Devil: That he will not! For, you see, it is your fate to kill him.
Bender'S Ghost: Says you! I would never kill Fry! Not even to save my own life!
Robot Devil: But, Bender, isn't a Robot life worth ever so much more than a Human life?
Bender'S Ghost: Of course not! What idiot thinks that?!
Robot Devil: You!
Bender'S Ghost: You're usin' my own words against me! Go to Hell!
Robot Devil: Soon enough. But, first, the killing. Have you noticed that animals are sometimes spooked by Robot ghosts?
Bender'S Ghost: So what?! I hate animals! Run for your life, Fry! Move your hemp flaps!
Robot Devil: He can't hear you, Bender. I'm afraid your friend is about to be Fully Buckminstered!
Bender'S Ghost: Oh, yeah? I'll just jump into a machine and get his attention that way.
Robot Devil: Ah, but there aren't any machines on this planet!
Bender'S Ghost: There's one, you rusty, old dummy.
Robot Devil: Hey, no fair! Ocupado!
Bender'S Ghost: Got you! Get over here, Devil!
Fry: And Scruffy's buffet? How's that going?
Bender'S Ghost: Fry! Fry! Look out for that bowlin' barn!
Fry: Bender?! Is that thou?
Bender'S Ghost: I love you!
Amy: Oh, my God! That was close!
Hermes: Did you see that?
Leela: Are you okay? What just happened?
Fry: Well, I think the Robot Devil said he'd loved me in Bender's voice, wearing Granny Hester's clothes. I wanna go home!
Robot Devil'S Ghost: You still lose, Bender. You failed to kill Fry, so you are banished to Hell. I get a new body and you get to be a translucid chump 'til the end of time!
Bender'S Ghost: Big deal! I saved my friend. As far as I'm concerned, I won.
Robot Devil: Uh, really? You may find your victory pyrrhic, when subjected to this lyric, for a trillion years or so. Yeah!
Bender'S Ghost: Whoa!
Robot Devil: Hey, where are you going?!
Bender'S Ghost: I don't know and I don't care!
Bender'S Ghost: Yeah, I'm back! Wait. This is my stop! Oh, this guy...
White Robot: Bender, for your selfless act in saving Fry, I am pleased to welcome you to Robot Heaven.
Bender'S Ghost: Shut up, God!
White Robot: Beg pardon?
Bender'S Ghost: I wanna go back to Robot Earth. I mean regular Earth.
White Robot: Hey, what are you- Ow! Hey, stop that! I command you, you jerk! Just get out.
Fry: Woo! I've been through the adventure of a lifetime. Ow!
Bender: I'm back, baby!
Fry: You're back from the dead?!
Bender: I'm back from lots of stuff.
Fry: Oh, Bender, Bender, I missed you so much! Hey, wait. Did you haunt me?


Hermes: Well, we're bankrupt in six, five...
Hermes: Four, three...
Hermes: Two, one. And we're out of business.
Farnsworth: Good news! We're back in business. We've been hired to deliver an envelope.
Leela: It's crunch time. Let's do this. It's for you, Professor.
Farnsworth: Great delivery, everyone. You're the finest crew I've had the honour to work with. Oh, my. We're being foreclosed upon. You're all terrible and incompetent!
Amy: I resent that!
Hermes: Wait. I found a loophole in the mortgage. If we actually pay it, we can keep the building. We just need... Eleven million dollars.
Bender: And... Boned!
Farnsworth: Aw. I suppose there's nothing left to do but move out. Leela, Amy, pack us a lunch for our new lives under the bridge while us men reminisce and smoke some stogies.
Leela: We are not packing lunches, you walking beer commercials. It was you men who drove this company into the ground. Remember Fry's idea to offer free delivery?
Fry: It got us a lot of customers!
Leela: We're a delivery company!
Amy: If you wanna save this company, you should listen to a woman's idea for once.
Hermes: Okay. What you got?
Leela: An airline!
Amy: Yeah! Wait, what?
Leela: We should become a commercial airline. I mean, we've got a ship, and teleporters won't be invented for another fifteen years, according to that guy from the future.
Amy: Wow! That's actually a really good idea for a woman!
Farnsworth: Puff! What else you ladies got?
Bender: Girls-of-Planet-Express calendar!
Fry: Girly calendar? Great idea, Amy!
Hermes: Okay, then. Leela, Amy, come to work topless tomorrow.
Leela: Forget it! I promised myself I wouldn't pose naked until I was married.
Hermes: Sorry. It's in your contract. "All female employees must pose nude if requested."
Leela: That's discriminatory!
Hermes: No, it's in all our contracts. Here's mine. "All female employees must pose nude if requested."
Fry: Sounds fun.
Bender: Back to work, Hermes!
Scruffy: Now that's what I call fine print.
Amy: Okay, but good luck making a girly calendar with only two female employees.
Labarbara: Oh, husband! I'm so excited about this new job.
Hermes: And it's excited about you, LaBarbara. First order of business is to put on your uniform and take your ID photo.
Leela: Look, I agree that it makes space walking more comfortable, but, for a photo shoot, it's a little... Unsavoury. Over.
Bender: Time is money, peaches. Now shut your com link and make love to the camera. And remember I'm the camera. Stop actually washin' and play with the sponges!
Leela: But the ship is dirty.
Bender: Uh, whatever. I ran out of film an hour ago.
Farnsworth: No, no. This won't do. A three-month calendar? What is this, Mercury?
Amy: I told you it wouldn't work.
Farnsworth: Well, you should've talked louder. Fortunately, I came up with a brilliant idea to save Planet Express. We'll turn it into a commercial airline!
Leela: But that was my idea!
Farnsworth: Then you should've talked louder. What?
Leela: There. It was hard work, but it beats posing in demeaning, skimpy modelling outfits.
Farnsworth: Ladies, here are your demeaning, skimpy stewardess outfits.
Bender: Sorry, ma'am. I'll have to confiscate your artificial knee cap.
Hattie: Okay, here you go.
Fry: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the plane's president speaking.
Fry: We are cleared for takeoff.
Leela: You put Goofus and Ganja in charge? I'm the only trained pilot here.
Farnsworth: Please, Leela. Who ever heard of a plane with a woman president?
Bender: Welcome to Plan Am Flight 1 to Acapulsar. The local time on Acapulsar is five years from now. In the event of a wormhole sendin' us back in time, do not kill your parents. If you who are travelling with small children, help them not to kill you before not killin' your own parents. Now please turn off all electronic devices.
Fry: Uh, preparing for takeoff.
Man: I kill you, my friend!
Labarbara: I hope you all enjoyed our timey beverage service. Now sit back and endure our in-flight entertainment.
Zoidberg: Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! So what's the deal with airline food, hmm? They offer you two choices, but they're always outta one. Uh, by the way, we're outta both choices.
Petunia: Shut up and put on four episodes of Da Office.
Amana: Ooh, your hands are warm... For a Robot.
Bender: Thanks, baby. I don't know what you're doing back here in the galley, 'cause you got a first-class C.
Leela: Captain, we were supposed to land two days ago. Is everything- Hey!
Fry: Are we at the fair yet, Mommy?
Leela: We're not at the any place! And we're out of fuel!
Amy: Attention, passengers. Please remain seated until the plane comes to a complete crash.
Farnsworth: Perhaps we should reconsider the girly calendar.
Leela: Flight-attendance log. We've crashed near a river of mercury on a lifeless, mineral world. Supplies are low. Cannibalism, imminent. Radio, busted. Our one hope is to form a society.
Hermes: Okay, then. Men, let's get hunting. The women folk can cook what we catch.
Labarbara: No one put you in charge, husband. I'm the only one here who ever ran a society.
Hermes: Roller derby is not a society!
Labarbara: Well, let's put it to a vote, then. All in favour of the jamooca thunderclap? That would be me.
Hermes: Practically no one. All in favour of me?
Dr. Cahill: Eight to eight. It's a tie.
Farnsworth: We can't trust a woman's math! Count again!
Big Rock Alien: Greetings, soft ones. Who among you is your leader?
Men: He is!
Women: She is!
Big Rock Alien: Curious. You're a diarchic society?
Hermes: Um, maybe. But, whatever we are, I'm the leader of it.
Labarbara: Leader? Fat man, you couldn't even run a bath.
Labarbara: Well, you sure can run something Your mouth!
Big Rock Alien: Silence! Even a young pebble could see your race is divided based on the configuration of your twenty-third chromosome.
Amy: You mean, "along gender lines"?
Big Rock Alien: Gender?
Sal: Yes. You knows, guyses, galses... In that order. Ows!
Big Rock Alien: I am not familiar with this concept of gender. My species has only a single gender, known as nuchacho.
Zoidberg: Interesting. Come on, men! Let's kill him!
Big Rock Alien: Your genders differ in many ways, but, as with all things that are different, chocolate and vanilla, Mac and PC, one is always clearly better.
Bender: Chocolate, Mac, men. The end.
Big Rock Alien: Well, I've got nothing to do for the next eight million years. Therefore, I will administer a series of tests to determine the superior gender. Test number one Who can drink the most sulfur? Test inconclusive. Test number two Who can drink the most arsenic?
Farnsworth: Just ask us some damn questions.
Big Rock Alien: Very well. Which is larger? An Italian size four or an American apparel medium? How many calories are in a small green-tea yogurt. Name any twelve of the Desperate Housewives. How was your day? Test complete. What is the score?
Bender: Uh... Men, five. Women, less.
Amana: Hey! He's lying.
Big Rock Alien: Obviously. That was a test to see who could lie better. The men win that round.
Farnsworth: In your face, decumbent urinators.
Big Rock Alien: So far, I have learned nothing, but that's probably as much my fault as yours. The time has come for the final test.
Fry: Uh, we usually call it the lightning round.
Big Rock Alien: As you may have noticed, it's getting hotter here.
Leela: It's nice.
Fry: It's too hot.
Zoidberg: Would one of you chicks change the thermostat?
Big Rock Alien: Tomorrow morning, this planet makes its closest pass to the sun. You will all be boiled alive like retired circus animals. Unless you somehow can cross the Great Alkali Plains and reach shelter in the Cave of Harmony.
Fry: That sounds hard.
Big Rock Alien: Which ever gender reaches the cave will survive and may the inferior gender burst into something. Flames, I guess.
Hermes: Uh-oh. I think we're walking in circles. I recognise the pattern of striations on that gypsum formation.
Fry: Also, my shoe that fell off.
Bender: Oh, God. We're all gonna die in agony.
Small Rock Alien: Howdy there. You fellows need some directions?
Bender: No, we're fine.
Farnsworth: Beat it.
Fry: Don't worry about it.
Labarbara: Keep it up, sistren. Only a few more miles to the cave. Let's just buckle down and-
Amy: Look! A clearance sale!
Labarbara: What?! Where?
Labarbara: I can't believe that sale was just a mirage. Now we're going to die without so much as a factory second-clutch purse to show for it.
Amy: It would've been nice to shop at Tommy Hilfiger one last time.
Hattie: It wasn't Tommy Hilfi-gigger. It was Linens 'n Things!
Petunia: The hell it was! It was a Juicy Couture!
Leela: I guess we all saw what we wanted to see.
Hermes: We can't make it tonight. We'll set up camp here by this shoe.
Farnsworth: Oh, gentlemen. When that sun rises in the morning, we're toast. These are our last moments together. So, if anyone's got any good fart jokes, now would be the time.
Amy: It's a schmundered degrees and all we have to drink are non-diet sodas.
Petunia: It's gonna ruin ma figger.
Leela: Wait. I forgot that Amana here is a refrigerator. If we could supercharge her freon with a gas compressor, we might survive the heat and make it to the cave.
Amana: Hey, yeah! But the only gas compressor on this planet is inside Bender's ass.
Dr. Cahill: Was that a fart joke? Because I don't find those amusing.
Labarbara: No one does! Nevertheless, Bender's gas blaster may be our only hope.
Hermes: Oh! Wife? What are you doin' with Bender's shiny metal, gas compressor?
Labarbara: None of your Biz Markie. Wait a second. What's that do wah in your ditty bag?
Hermes: Okay... So we were hot. I stole Amana's freon coil so we could hook it up to Bender's ass and build a cooler.
Labarbara: You are no better than me, ya shifty tree skink! How do you live with yourself?
Hermes: Damn it, woman! You are makin' me highly Selassie.
Labarbara: Don't you talk to me that way, you big, hairy Belafonte!
Hermes: Oh... You cookin' me back bacon. Thank you, woman.
Labarbara: That's not back bacon! That's your back bakin'!
Hermes: Oh, no! We overslept.
Amy: The mercury's boiling!
Petunia: Can't breathe... Lungs burnin'...
Fry: My lucky shoe!
Bender: Goodbye, cruel me! I learned that from a movie.
Big Rock Alien: I find both genders supremely disappointing. The real reason I administered this bizarre, outer-space test was to teach you to work together! But you couldn't. Thanks to you, I lost my bet with the Borax Kid.
Fry: Never bet against me being stupid.
Big Rock Alien: Enough! Your gender differences have kept you from achieving harmony. There is only one way to resolve this conflict.
Fry: Wait. Why didn't that hurt? My wing-wang's gone!
Leela: My girls!
Bender: My antenna!
Hattie: My kajigger!
Zoidberg: My gonopores! Look it up.
Big Rock Alien: I have freed you from the tyranny of gender. Now go in peace. Or actually stay here. I'll go in peace.
Farnsworth: Good news, nuchachos! The ship is nearly repaired.
Sal: Work goes fasters withouts no secondary sex characteristicses at which to hoot. Now who wants to sing some Christopher Cross songs?
Labarbara: I do!
Fry: Look, associates. I made a hammock from our clothing.
Leela: How industrious!
Amy: Do you mind if we sleep with you?
Fry: I have no opinion. Well, good night.
Hermes: Everyone got along so well today.
Labarbara: Yes. This place is like a neutered utopia. A neutopia!
Hermes: I enjoy humour when no one gets hurt.
Labarbara: Your companionship is inoffensive, Hermes.
Hermes: Likewise. Really, what are we missing out on by not having sex right now?
Labarbara: Well...
Hermes: Give us back our genitals!
Big Rock Alien: Is that you, Borax Kid? I've got your fifty bucks. Oh, it's you. Why do you want your genders? You seem happier without them.
Labarbara: Bein' Human isn't just about bein' happy! It's about lovin' and fightin' and that rasta MacNasty we were doin' last night. We want that back.
Big Rock Alien: Very well. Perhaps it is I who have learned a lesson. Or something.
Bender: Now what?
Big Rock Alien: I have decided, after little thought, to return your genders.
Amy: Not cool, bro! Our genders are all reversed!
Hattie: Now I got a what-ya-call-it instead of a kajigger, you stupid what-ya-call-it!
Big Rock Alien: Okay. Stop yelling at me! It was an innocent mistake. Allow me to rectify it.
Zapp: I got your distress call and came as quickly as I wanted to. No need to thank me.
Leela: What's your problem, Holmes? Now we'll be stuck like this forever!
Zapp: Chill out, dude. Well, hello from the neck down.
Bender: Thank you for your patronage. We know you have a choice in airlines and you made the wrong one. No refunds!
Hermes: Aren't we going to cuddle?
Labarbara: Woman, I'm tired! I'm sorry. It's just... I need my sleep. I got to get up five times a night to play Xbox.
Hermes: I understand. Womanhood also takes some getting used to. For example, did you know there are more than two feelin's?
Labarbara: I only need one feelin' Love for you, wifey man.
Hermes: Your manwich!
Labarbara: No wonder it's such a mess in there. These bad boys are hard to aim.
Leela: I hate being a man. I smell bad, my face is scratchy, and the food at those strip clubs is terrible.
Amy: Crappin' A! Still, I'm sure the women are having an even harder time.
Bender: OMG! Being chicks is so much fun.
Fry: Now, when I say stupid things, guys all laugh and buy me stuff.
Leela: What a skank. Anyway, Planet Express is still facing foreclosure. There's no way we can raise enough money to save this company.
Amy: Wait. What about the girly calendar?
Fry: Well, that won't work, remember? We only have three women on staff-
Labarbara: "All female employees must pose nude if requested."
Leela: And it is requested.
Farnsworth: Let's just hope we can sell enough of these calendars by tomorrow.
Farnsworth: We sold enough of those calendars since yesterday!
Leela: Thank God most of our fans are huge perverts!
Fry: Who're you, stranger?
Borax Kid: Well, madam, folks called me the Borax Kid. My friend, the other rock Alien, died without settin' your genitals to right, so I reckon it's up to me to sex you up proper.
Leela: My girls are back!
Fry: Ow! Yay!
Hermes: So what did you like better, my love? Bein' a man or a woman?
Labarbara: I don't care what parts I have. As long as they interlock with yours.
Farnsworth: Ah, marriage. It combines the contentedness of being neutered with the occasional sex of being not.
Borax Kid: Well, I'd best mosey on down to the landing. Sounds like the feldspar queen is about to set sail. You folks watch your genitals now. Come on, boy! Giddy up!
Leela: And that's that.
Scruffy: What I miss?


Albert: I got one!
Warden Vogel: Okay, kids. Put away the dust motes 'til tomorrow. It's story time! Today's storyteller is a space captain who grew up right here at the Orphanarium. Welcome back the bedwetter of building D, Turanga Leela!
Leela: Hi, kids! What book would you like me to read first?
Albert: We don't got books no more.
Leela: What?
Warden Vogel: He means any more. Look, sometimes you gotta choose between eatin' and reading. So they ate the books. Just... Make somethin' up!
Leela: Make something up? Um... Okay. Once upon a time, there was a... A...
Sally: Princess?
Leela: Yes! That! A... One-eyed princess in a long, flowing... Tank top. And she lived in a magical, one-room...
Sally: Castle?
Leela: Yeah. If you believe the listing agent. Anyhow, one day, the princess went off to... Uh... Tell a story! And, then, that's exactly what she did do that. And they all lived happily ever after. The end.
Albert: Miss Leela? I have a question!
Leela: Yes, Albert?
Albert: That story was bad.
Leela: That's not really a question.
Albert: That wasn't really a story.
Leela: I'm sorry, kids. I'm not a natural storyteller. But I promise I'll make up a better story and come back again.
Sally: Please don't...
Leela: See you soon!
Leela: I'm sure I've got a great kids' story in me. I just need to think of three of some kind of animal. Concentrate, Leela! Concentrate! Fry, I'm writing here! Do you have to play that?
Fry: Yes. It's the only song I know.
Zoidberg: Look, friends! I accidentally learned to tap-dance!
Leela: Zoidberg, I'm trying to-
Hermes: Time for my four-twenty-one daiquiri!
Bender: Guys! Guys! Guess who just got commissioned as a tugboat!
Amy: Oh, yeah! Pachinko break!
Pachinko Machine: Tokyo crazy balls! Yes!
Farnsworth: Ooh, good, Leela. You're here. I'd like to describe my foot pain. My left has a sharp jabbing throb near the bunion, while the other's got a searing pain like gout. Maybe it's too much albumin because of gravity...
Leela: Even if I had a pen, I couldn't write under these conditions. I'm going to some other planet, where I can concentrate.
Farnsworth: Searing, searing pain that feels as if it were in a vice.
Bender: Well, that was rude.
Leela: Warden Vogel, I have a new story for the children. I'm sure they'll like it more than my last one.
Warden Vogel: They liked hunger cramps more than your last one. Anyhow, you'll have to wait. The kids are busy right now.
Leela: Oh. Is the organ-harvesting clown here?
Warden Vogel: Nah. Rusty comes on Tuesdays now. Today, it's the owner of the Tickelodeon Kids Network.
Abner Doubledeal: Okay, kids. Get ready to be subjected to our new Fall shows! Mr. Funny Bunny here will gauge your reaction by bombarding your brains with harmless snuggle rays.
Albert: He gives me a nice, warm feeling in my eyeballs!
Male Voice #1: Popular Slut Club.
Little Girl #1: Oh, my God! There's Jake Thinkleburg! He's so hot! I wish he wasn't my brother.
Male Voice #1: Popular Slut Club.
Male Voice #2: Look! Up on the drive-through menu! It's Captain Mega Meat and his young ward Bottomless Boy!
Bottomless Boy: Hurry, Captain! A skinny kid needs our help!
Captain Mega Meat: Supersize me!
Male Voice #3: From the "Rowdy" Roddy Piper daycare centre in Glasgow, Scotland, it's Extreme Toddler Wrestling!
Abner Doubledeal: Thanks for the brain scans, kids. Don't have any children for the next couple of days.
Warden Vogel: Alright, boys and girls. Enough fun! Your old friend Leela is back with a brand-new story!
Leela: Hi! It's great to be back. I think you'll enjoy this one.
Sally: Please! Can't we just get our organs harvested?
Leela: It's about some cute, little creatures from a land called Rumbledy-Hump. Kids, let's meet the Humplings! And laugh and learn and smile and think and other happy things.
Albert: Say more things like that!
Leela: Okey-doke. One sunny, funny day, there was an unfamiliar visitor in Rumbledy-Hump.
Leela: Today we learned that folks are not as different as they seem.
Sally: Wow! I can't believe you imaginated all that stuff!
Nina: Will you come back again and tell us more stories and also adopt us all?
Leela: Of course I'll tell you more stories. I'll go think some up right now.
Abner Doubledeal: Holy moly! Lady, you don't know me, but my name is Abner Doubledeal.
Leela: Wait! I know you! You're Abner Doubledeal!
Abner Doubledeal: I brain-scanned those little nose-pickers during your story. And, sister, their enjoyment glands were squirtin' like Broadway roadkill!
Leela: Aw. They were?!
Abner Doubledeal: Say, you seem like a smart mark. How'd you like to make it into a TV show? Sign here, 'round this... Uh... Supercuts coupon.
Leela: I dunno. Don't I need a degree to write gibberish for toddlers?
Nina: Come on, Miss Leela! Don't be a fraidy cat like Feffernoose!
Leela: Okay. I'll do it! To show you kids you can succeed at anything. If you just luck out hard enough.
Abner Doubledeal: Welcome to the glamourous, big-money world of basic cable TV! I'm gonna need that pen back.
Hermes: Working on a real TV show is so exciting! I'm on a mostly natural high!
Amy: These costumes are gonna make it hard to go to the bathroom.
Fry: I'm not havin' any problem.
Abner Doubledeal: We're shooting in five minutes and this Leela broad hasn't even delivered a script yet! Sweet Zombie Jesus! Like it's not hard enough to make a freakin' TV show for under fifty bucks! Damn it, I'll call you back, grandma. Nice of you to show up, toots. I mean that sincerely. It's just that I'm in show biz.
Leela: Sorry. I went to my quiet place to write. Here's the script.
Abner Doubledeal: Argh! You writers make me sick. Nice job on the script, though. Places, everyone. Okay. Cheap lights. Off-brand camera. And non-union action!
Fry: I like ice cream. And I like lollipops. And I like you, Princess Num Num.
Amy: Ew! I'm all licky-sticky!
Fry: I don't understand. When I like something, I lick it. Like this raccoon.
Leela: Doingg! Don't lick things that don't wanna be licked.
Fry: But how do I know what to lick and what not to lick?
Leela: It's very simple. If it's alive, don't lick it.
Zoidberg: Like a horse, a turtle, or a cricket.
Bender: I like turtles.
Leela: So, if you're not sure if it's alive or dead, Poke it with a stick and lick the stick instead.
Fry: Now I get it!
Zoidberg: Ow!
Leela: Well, that's all for today. But, before we go, let's do everything we just did two more times.
Bender: Leela, that was great! Even I have to admire the performance of me, Bender!
Amy: The show looks so cute. Kids'll love it! And it looks so cruddy, their ironic hipster parents will love it.
Leela: Thanks, guys. But let's be realistic. We all know any TV show that's even slightly good gets cancelled. Sometimes, two or three times.
Abner Doubledeal: Leela! Tomorrow's ratings just came in from the future. We're a hit!
Leela: What?! My show is a hit?!
Abner Doubledeal: What are you, deaf? It's gonna be bigger than SpongeBot SquareBolts!
Spongebot Squarebolts: I interfere with pacemakers!
Abner Doubledeal: Baby, I hope you like drowning in caviar. 'Cause that is how you're gonna die!
Calculon: Welcome back to the Young People's Choice Awards. In a moment, the award for Outstanding Sext Message. But, first, the nominees for Best New Kids' Show are... Yo Gimme Gimme!, The Adventures of Pit-Bull and Scaredy Squirrel, Dora the Destroyer, and Rumbledy-Hump.
Fry: I hope you win, Leela.
Leela: Thanks, Fry. It's nice to have the support of viewers like you.
Fry: I'm the star of the show.
Leela: Shh!
Calculon: And the Slurmie for Best New Kids' Show goes to... Turanga Leela for Rumbledy-Hump!
Female Voice: This is Turanga Leela's first nomination and second time in high heels.
Leela: Wow. I feel so lucky just to have been nominated alongside so many inferior shows. And, to all my young friends at the Orphanarium, thank you for inspiring me to be your hero.
Calculon: Slurm her!
Bender: So wait. You play a high-school student who's also secretly a rock star who's also secretly a massage chair?
Fembot: No. I play a high-school student who's also secretly a rock star, but, in real life, I'm a massage chair.
Bender: Hmmm. You ever made out with a tugboat?
Leela: Guys, I didn't have time to mention it up there, but I want each of you to know what an honour it is to work with me.
Hermes: Sweet ego of Montego! Someone build a wind farm in front of her mouth.
Abner Doubledeal: Leela, I mean this. You're the greatest creative mind since blah, blah, blah-bity, blah. But it's two AM and you still haven't written tomorrow's episode.
Leela: Well, you can't expect me to write it here, with everyone talking so loudly about how great I am.
Abner Doubledeal: Sorry.
Leela: I'm taking the ship to my quiet place so I can be alone. You non-creatives can catch a bus home.
Fry: Non-creative? Ha! I'll have you know I bedazzle my own underpants.
Bender: That was a helluva massage. Maybe the best there ever was. Say, where are we? Rumbledy-Hump?! It's real!
Doingg: I love eating vegetables. Don't you? They're like crunchy, green water.
Garbly: I don't like 'em. They're icky-yucky!
Lady Buggle: Now, now, Garbly. If we don't eat our vegetables, we won't grow big and strong... Like Feffernoose.
Feffernoose: I have to be big and strong to fight off the monsters. Did somebody say monsters?!
Leela: This will make a great episode. But talk slower. I can't type that fast.
Bender: Well, well, well. You didn't make up that TV show! You just wrote down what these space twerps said!
Leela: Oh, hell.
Princess Num Num: Leela said a Rumbledy-Hump no-no!
Humplings: Sometimes, when we're mad, We say words that are bad.
Humplings: And poo-poo and pee-pee and penis and gay. Those are the ninety-eight words we don't say.
Bender: My God. You stole all your ideas from those poor, innocent creatures and hogged all the credit?! I underestimated you.
Leela: Wait! I can explain.
Bender: Nah, don't ruin it. I'm lovin' the hypocrisy. It's like catchin' an evangelist in a whorehouse. That was the best Christmas ever.
Leela: You know I hate lying. But those orphans were so proud of me, I couldn't bear to let them down.
Bender: Pfff! At least Reverend Pickens had the dignity to jump out the whorehouse window with his pants around his ankles.
Princess Num Num: Who's your friend, Leela? He sure has a shiny metal bumbledy-boop.
Bender: Aw, they're so cute and harmless. No wonder you feel safe rippin' off their act.
Leela: Bender! I feel bad enough already.
Bender: I'm just messin' with ya. I love that you're gettin' rich off of them. 'Cause, now, I can get rich off of you!
Leela: Oh, Lord.
Bender: From now on, you give me half the gross or I'll blow your cover.
Leela: Fine. You'll get your cut. I don't really care about the money, anyway. I just wanna show those poor, disadvantaged orphans that they can succeed in life.
Bender: Ugh. You are the worst kind of rich person.
Leela: Be it parsnips or peppers or kale or zucchini.
Fry: I like to relax with a spinach martini.
Bender: A-gurgle bufwoozle didoodi houdini.
All: 'Cause we love our vegetables.
Abner Doubledeal: And... Cut! That's a wrap, everybody. Ten-minute break, then we shoot season three.
Fry: Leela, you may have become a Lady Gaga-esque fame hag, but you sure cheered up those orphans. Nice job.
Warden Vogel: Thanks so much for inviting us to the taping. The kids haven't been this excited since food day!
Leela: Aw, thanks. They're my inspiration.
Bender: But not your only inspiration. Am I right, Leels?
Albert: Is somebody standing on me?
Bender: I do love inconveniencing the underclass.
Warden Vogel: Well, we'll be on our way. After we dig through your trash for aluminum. Okay, kids. Delta pattern. Go! Go! Go!
Sally: Miss Leela?
Leela: Yes, Sally?
Sally: I wanna show you the story I made up. That's Gum Drop, Sticky, Candy Corn, Sour Ball, and Jujube. They're brothers and sisters and they live in Butterscotch Hollow.
Leela: Sally, that's wonderful. You came up with that yourself? Out of thin air? How?
Sally: You were an orphan and now you're the best writer ever, so I knew I could write too. Thank you for being my hero.
Leela: I can't do this any more.
Farnsworth: I don't blame you. Having to wear a costume made from a hollowed-out walrus...
Leela: Everyone, I have a confession. I, Turanga Leela, winner of a Young People's Choice Award, a Peabody Jr, and two Training Emmys, am not what I appear to be. There's something I need to show you.
Bender: Uh-oh.
Leela: Continuing my confession, this is the hardest thing I've ever done.
Sally: Harder than creating the bestest show in the world?
Leela: I didn't create anything. I stole it.
Bender: Stealin' is a form of creativity!
Leela: No, it isn't. Guys! Come on out!
Abner Doubledeal: Holy moly again.
Lady Buggle: Oh, hello, Leela. I was just telling my friends how they shouldn't eat food off the floor. Should we sing a song about it?
Fry: Yes, please!
Leela: No need, Lady Buggle.
Abner Doubledeal: Say, what's goin' on here?
Leela: This planet is the real Rumbledy-Hump. And these creatures are the real Humplings. All I did was write down their adorably repetitious hijinks.
Sally: You lied? Like Doingg did when he stole Garbly's pet pinecone?
Doingg: You told them about that?
Leela: I should've told the truth right away. These simply prairie folk have a simple prairie-ish life here. And I was wrong to exploit it for profit.
Lady Buggle: I'm as sad as an upside-down smile.
Leela: You mean a frown?
Lady Buggle: We didn't have a word for it... Until now.
Amy: To think I put on an unflattering cupcake costume for you!
Fry: To think I borrowed money from you!
Albert: I was gonna ask you to marry me.
Sally: I guess, if you can't make up stories, I can't neither.
Leela: I deserve this. And more. Keep it coming!
Abner Doubledeal: Wait a second. As a big Hollywood TV producer, I think I know how to remedy this ethical lapse.
Lady Buggle: So if you don't want a tapeworm or intestinal bug...
Humplings: Don't eat pastrami that fell on the rug.
Abner Doubledeal: And... Cut! Ta-da! We got us a reality show! No writers. No actors. No problem.
Leela: Doubledeal, this is disgraceful! You can't just rip off their real lives and put it on TV!
Abner Doubledeal: Wha? Who said anything about rippin' them off?
Leela: I did!
Abner Doubledeal: I'm payin' 'em. Gather 'round, gang. Here're your pay checks.
Garbly: I can finally afford my speech therapy!
Feffernoose: And the health plan covers my generic Prozac!
Lady Buggle: Electricity, plumbing... Our lives are a jillion times better. And it's all thanks to you, Leela.
Leela: Don't thank me! I should be punished! I've corrupted you and taught the orphans a terrible lesson.
Warden Vogel: What orphans?! The kids were all adopted!
Leela: They were?! By who?!
Abner Doubledeal: Come on, kids. Let's get this place cleaned up for the next episode. Albert, pick up that pastrami and put it back on the craft services table.
Albert: You're the boss, Daddy.
Leela: Oh, God! What have I done?!
Nina: You've given us a new father and a full-time job! Which is more than most kids have!
Leela: But-
Sally: We love it here, Miss Leela. This is the funnest planet in the whole world!
Leela: Don't hug me! I've done a horrible thing! For God's sakes, somebody teach me a lesson!
Orphans And Humplings: We love Leela!
Leela: No!


Farnsworth: Good news, everyone. We've got a very special delivery today.
Fry: Who's it going to?
Farnsworth: Me.
Bender: Another job well done.
Farnsworth: No, I need it shipped to my office at Mars University. It's a little experiment that may well win me the Nobel Prize.
Leela: In what field?
Farnsworth: I don't care, they all pay the same.
Fry: Is it dangerous?
Farnsworth: Oh, my, no. Off we go!
Fry: Very impressive. Back in the 20th century we had no idea there was a university on Mars.
Farnsworth: Well, in those days Mars was just a dreary, uninhabitable wasteland, uh, much like Utah. But unlike Utah, it was eventually made livable, when the university was founded in 2636.
Leela: They planted traditional college foliage; ivy, trees, hemp. Soon the whole planet was terraformed.
Fry: Does that mean it's safe to breathe the air?
Farnsworth: Of course.
Farnsworth: Over here is Wong Library. It has the largest collection of literature in the Western Universe.
Bender: Hey, look! There's a chapter of my old robot fraternity, Epsilon Rho Rho.
Leela: You went to college?
Bender: Of course. I'm a bender, I went to Bending College. I majored in Bending.
Fry: What was your minor?
Bender: Robo-American Studies.
Fratbot #1: Are you here to fumigate the moose head?
Bender: Uh, no, actually I'm an Epsilon from way back.
Fratbot #1: Eh, close enough. C'mon in.
Bender: Thanks. Here's your finger back.
Bender: All the coolest robots are in this fraternity.
Fratbot #2: Mate in 143 moves.
Fratbot #3: Oh, pooh. You win again!
Bender: Uh-oh, nerds!
Fratbot #1: Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Gearshift, chapter president. This is Oily, and this here is Fat-bot.
Bender: You're all losers. My name's Bender.
Oily: Bender from Bending State Bender? Wow, you're a legend around here!
Fat-Bot: I heard that in one single night you drank a whole keg, streaked across campus and crammed 58 humans into a phone booth.
Bender: Yeah, well, a lot of 'em were children. Anyway I should get going.
Gearshift: No, Bender, wait. We're the lamest frat on campus. Even Hillel has better parties than us. Please, you've gotta stay and teach us how to be cool.
Bender: Hmm, OK. But I'll need 10 kegs of beer, a continuous tape of Louie Louie and a regulation two-storey panty-raid ladder.
Fat-Bot: Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
Fry: I tell you, being here really takes me back to my college days.
Man #1: Step right up. Who wants to learn physics?
Man #2: Keep your hands inside the car at all times.
Fry: Good old Coney Island College! Go, Whitefish!
Leela: Don't take this the wrong way, Fry, but you don't seem like the educated type.
Fry: Oh, yeah? Read it and weep. I'm a certified college dropout.
Leela: Please! Everyone knows 20th century colleges were basically expensive daycare centres.
Farnsworth: That's true. By current academic standards, you're merely a high school dropout.
Fry: What? That's not fair. I deserve the same respect any other college dropout gets. By God, I'm gonna enroll here at Mars University and drop out all over again!
Leela: You won't last two weeks.
Fry: Aww, thanks for believing in me.
Amy: Yo, classmate. What you takin'?
Fry: Oh, I don't know. Hey, Professor, what are you teaching this semester?
Farnsworth: Same thing I teach every semester The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields. I made up the title so that no student would dare take it.
Fry: Mathematics of wanton burrito meals. I'll be there!
Farnsworth: Please, Fry, I don't know how to teach; I'm a professor!
Fry: See you in class!
Farnsworth: Oh!
Fat-Bot: This is gonna be great!
Bender: Bingo!
Fat-Bot: Oh, mama!
Bender: Oh, yeah! Someone's been a bad computer! Get a load of that!
Meiderneyer: I say, you've damaged our servants' quarters ... and our servants.
Chet: This time Robot House has gone too far.
Bender: Cheese it!
Fat-Bot: They're gonna catch us!
Fry: Hey, pretty nice for a single. Two desks, two chairs, a couple of beds. A woodpecker.
Leela: I think that's probably your roommate.
Fry: Oh, right, cool. C'mon in, roomie! What the-?
Monkey: I call top bunk!
Fry: My roommate's a monkey?
Monkey: Brilliant deduction, you're a credit to your species.
Farnsworth: Ah, Fry, I see you've met Guenter!
Fry: You know each other?
Farnsworth: Guenter is my experiment. He was the top secret contents of this stinking crate.
Guenter: I'd rather live in a crate than share a room with this dork.
Leela: So what makes Guenter talk?
Fry: Is he genetically engineered?
Farnsworth: Oh, please! That's preposterous science-fiction mumbo-jumbo. Guenter's intelligence actually lies in his electronium hat which harnesses the power of sunspots to produce cognitive radiation.
Guenter: You're wasting your breath, Professor. He'll never understand a word of it.
Fry: I understood the word "hat"!
Farnsworth: Please, stop bickering. I arranged that you be roommates for a reason So I'd only have to remember one phone number. Now shake hands and make up.
Fry: You want a banana?
Guenter: I don't eat bananas. I prefer banana-flavoured energy bars made from tofu.
Fry: I don't like you.
Fry: This is gonna be a cakewalk!
Teacher: Welcome to the history of the 20th century. Look to your left, then to your right. Then in nine other directions. One of the 12 of you will not pass this class.
Amy: Boring. Let's hear about Walter Mondale already!
Teacher: Be forewarned The only sure way to get an A in this class is to have lived in the 20th century.
Fry: Swish!
Teacher: You were saying, Mr. Fry?
Fry: I'm from the 20th century. Go ahead, ask me anything.
Teacher: Very well. What device invented in the 20th century allowed people to view broadcast programmes in their own homes?
Fry: Ooh ... I know this ... whatyya call it? Lite Brite!
Guenter: I believe the answer is the television.
Teacher: Very good, Mr. ... ... Guenter.
Amy: Wow! Smart and cute!
Vernon: What I love about being dean of students is the peace and quiet and the respect I receive. Now what's all this about?
Woman: Dean Vernon, the students from Robot House are here.
Vernon: Robot House!
Bender: Hey, dean, nice looking model.
Vernon: You keep away from it. You robots are a disgrace to this university. Whenever a fire alarm is pulled, it's Robot House. Whenever the campus liquor store is looted, Robot House. Whenever a human corpse is desecrated-
Bender: Now, I can explain that.
Vernon: That's enough out of you. From this day forth, Robot House is on dodecatupple-secret probation!
Bender: No fair!
Fat-Bot: My mom is gonna kill me!
Vernon: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to the one thing that's kept me sane these past eight years My model ship.
Gearshift: Fat-bot! No!
Fat-Bot: When I get nervous I get hungry.
Bender: Cheese it!
Vernon: Robot House!
Fry: So, Chrissy, we seem to be hitting it off. If you're not doing anything later might I escort you to a kegger?
Chrissy: Not even if you were the last man on Mars.
Guenter: Hey! You like bananas?
Guenter: I got her number. How do you like them bananas?
Farnsworth: And therefore, by process of elimination, the electron must taste like grapeade.
Fry: Sorry, I overslept.
Farnsworth: Until 5pm?
Fry: It's that obnoxious monkey. He kept me up all night with his constant thinking. Just thinking and thinking. He's trying to make me look like an idiot.
Farnsworth: Don't be jealous. Without his special hat, Guenter might be no more intelligent than you.
Fry: I hate that rodent!
Farnsworth: Fry, that monkey is my most important experiment. If you two don't stop fighting I'll have you both neutered.
Fry: That'll show him.
Amy: Dean Vernon, I'd like you to meet my parents, Leo and Inez.
Vernon: Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Wong, I'm so glad we could admit Amy in exchange for your generous contribution.
Mr. Wong: How much more for Phi Beta Kappa?
Vernon: How much you got?
Guenter: Sorry I'm late, I was off at a study session ... with Chrissy!
Farnsworth: Oh, I'm glad you made it, Guenter because in honour of parents weekend I have a special surprise for you.
Guenter: Mom? Dad? What are you doing here? This is so humiliating.
Fry: Now these monkeys I like! What's that? You wanna come out?
Guenter: No! Stop!
Chet: I say.
Farnsworth: What's that they're flinging at us?
Guenter: Oh, dear Lord! All over the dean!
Fry: Hey, uh, Guenter? Why don't you get up on the chandelier with your parents and I'll take a picture?
Bender: Well, looks like the party's winding down. Let's take a road trip to Tijuana and get Fat-bot some action.
Fat-Bot: It's my first time, I'm really nervous.
Vernon: Robot House!
Leela: What you did to Guenter was cruel. At the risk of sounding like an after-school special, I think we learned who the real animal was today.
Fry: You mean peer pressure?
Fry: Look out! He's got a gun!
Guenter: Leave me alone.
Leela: Hey, what's going on? I thought you didn't like bananas.
Guenter: Of course I do. I try so hard to fit in but seeing my parents act like that made me realise I'm just a primitive beast.
Fry: Hey, hey, cheer up. Not everyone turns out like their parents. I mean, look at me. My folks were honest, hard-working people.
Leela: Besides, Guenter, you're not like other monkeys. You've got the hat.
Guenter: So what? I mean, sure, it looks cool and it makes me smart but it doesn't make me happy.
Leela: That's so sad. I didn't even know monkeys could cry.
Guenter: They can't. It's all the hat.
Fry: Look, Guenter, if you're so miserable here, maybe you should just go back to the jungle.
Guenter: The jungle. But I couldn't do that to the Professor. I'm his prize experiment, and he's like a father to me.
Leela: But he's not your father. That guy in the punch bowl was your father.
Farnsworth: Look at him. I'm so proud.
Fry: Thanks, Professor!
Farnsworth: Not you.
Fry: Ow!
Student: Hey!
Farnsworth: Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why? Why? Why didn't I break his legs?
Farnsworth: Oh, poor Guenter.
Leela: So he just ran away in the middle of the exam?
Farnsworth: I'm afraid so. All he handed in was a paper smeared with faeces. He tied with Fry.
Fry: I guess he realised I was right when I told him to go back to the jungle.
Farnsworth: You what? After I spent months slaving over a hot monkey brain?
Fry: Hey, don't blame me. You tried to force Guenter to be a human but he's an animal. He belongs in the wild. Or in the circus on one of those tiny tricycles. Now that's entertainment!
Farnsworth: But Guenter's obviously better off being intelligent. Tell him, Leela.
Leela: Nuh-uh, I'm staying out of this. Now here's my opinion What we should do is...
Farnsworth: What?
Leela: I said we'll go to the jungle and let Guenter decide once and for all.
Farnsworth: What?
Vernon: You all know the rules. Whichever house wins the regatta becomes head of the Greek Council. And should that house currently be on any type of multiple secret probation, it will be lifted and I will be forced to serve as Grand Marshal of a parade honouring them.
Chet: I say, Robot House, your water craft is as ill-designed as you yourselves.
Meiderneyer: Good one, Chet!
Bender: Oh, yeah? Watch this!
Chet: Well, I never!
Vernon: Fraternities, on your marks.
Bender: Hey!
Fry: Wow! The jungles on Mars look just like the jungles on Earth.
Farnsworth: Jungles? On Earth?
Leela: I see some movement up there. I think it's him.
Farnsworth: Stand back.
Leela: Oops.
Farnsworth: Don't worry. They'll be fine once the tranquiliser wears off.
Fry: There's our man!
Leela: Professor, you'll offer Guenter the hat and, Fry, you'll offer him the banana. We'll let him choose whether he wants to be intelligent or just a mindless animal.
Farnsworth: Come on, Guenter, take the hat.
Fry: No, the banana, the banana!
Farnsworth: Consider the philosophical and metaphysical ramifications of the-
Fry: Banana, banana, banana!
Leela: Wait, what's that sound?
Gearshift: Hey, Bender, you sure this is a short-cut?
Bender: Not as sure as I was an hour ago!
Vernon: And the winner is ... ... Robot House?
Farnsworth: Oh, dear Lord!
Leela: No! No!
Farnsworth: Thank God this log is sturdy. Put on the hat, Guenter! You're the only one who can save us! Stupid monkey.
Fry: No.
Leela: Not there.
Farnsworth: Keep trying.
Guenter: Eureka! The hat goes on the head. It's all so obvious now!
Leela: Help us, Guenter!
Guenter: Oh, my goodness. Hang on. I need to do some calculations. Got it! Grab on!
Farnsworth: We're saved!
Fry: 'Preciate it, Guenter!
Leela: Oh, no! Hurry, Guenter, climb up the vine. You can still save yourself.
Guenter: Why bother? I've got nothing to live for. I was miserable as a genius, and as a monkey, I was so dumb I tried to wear a hat on my butt. There's just no place for me in this world. Although, on the other hand-
Farnsworth: Oh, that poor, sweet monkey. Well, let's go gather him up. There's no sense letting him go to waste.
Fry: Guenter! You're alive!
Guenter: I guess the hat must have broke my fall.
Farnsworth: It seems to be working at only half-capacity, but I can fix it.
Guenter: No, wait! I like it like this. I actually feel sort of happy.
Farnsworth: But what about your super-intelligence?
Guenter: When I had that there was too much pressure to use it. All I want out of life is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit. That's why I've decided to transfer to business school!
Farnsworth: Nooo!
Bender: Come on, everyone! Big party in Robot House!


Fry: Run, Leela! They're bouncing right at us!
Bender: So... Anybody hungry?
Fry: I could stuff myself.
Leela: I'll use that free app that tells you what restaurants you're near.
Fry: You mean the window?
Leela: Yes.
Lrrr: I am Lrrr, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8! I demand extra dipping sauce!
Teenaged Alien: How many?
Lrrr: Uh... Two.
Fishy Joe: Welcome to Fishy Joe's. Today is Stroganoff Thursday. We are currently out of the following menu items.
Female Voice: Stroganoff.
Teenaged Alien: May I take your order?
Fry: I'll have the Stroganoff.
Teenaged Alien: Okay.
Bender: Yeah, uh, gimme the fried spaghetti dinner breakfast pocket for lunch an', uh, a big bucket o' mixed sodas.
Teenaged Alien: One kids meal. Got it.
Leela: Huh. Buggalo tots?
Leela: What exactly are those made of?
Teenaged Alien: You got a warrant?
Leela: I'll just have something from the lite menu. How about the gardener lover's salad?
Teenaged Alien: What kinda cheese fillin' you want in that?
Leela: Ugh! Just gimme the fruit cup!
Teenaged Alien: Okey-doke. What kinda cheese fillin' you want in that?
Leela: Oh, God! Fruit is spelled F-R-O-O-T. And it's got quotation marks around it.
Fry: Mmm. There's nothin' wrong with a little fast food once or twice a meal. Heart... Attack! I'm fine.
Leela: Oh! I got a bone in my fruit! That's it. From now on, we're not eating anything unless we know what it is an' where it's from. We're going to the local farmers market.
Bender: Aw, mom! Do we hafta?!
Leela: This is what I'm talkin' about! See all the dirt an' earwigs? That's the sign of healthy food.
Hydroponic Farmer: You think that's healthy? Try this. I found it growin' at the bottom of my hamper.
Leela: Mmm! So fresh an' musty!
Bulb: It's what I do.
Thog: Hello, tiny man. You want sample small-batch Amazonian maple syrup?
Fry: Sure. That's the kinda sap I like.
Thog: You the kind of sap I like.
Fry: I'm scaroused!
Bender: Zuban tobacco?! The richest, most obnoxious kind! Listen, pal. I'm lookin' for a versatile smoke. One that's equally good in a crowded elevator or an audience with the Pope.
Moustached Alien: Forget the Pope, my friend. Smoke one of these and God himself will ask to be seated far away from you.
Bender: Ooh!
Leela: Heirloom eggs?! That's so life-affirming! I'll bet you run your own hatchery. Just you and your wife... Matilda.
Brown-Haired Man: No, ma'am. Matilda an' I gather them eggs in the forest. And Matilda's really more of a mongoose than a wife.
Leela: You're a lucky man. But are they way more expensive than regular eggs?
Brown-Haired Man: Way more.
Leela: Ooh! I'll take a dozen.
Farnsworth: Wha?! You're not my breakfast friends! What are you doing here?!
Amy: Leela blackmailed us all into eating healthy, organic food.
Farnsworth: Blackmail? What does she have on you?
Hermes: As long as we eat 'er filthy scrambled eggs, you'll never find out.
Leela: They're not filthy! They're wholesome, fertile, and fresh from the forest floor. There's some filth.
Fry: FERTILE? What does that mean?
Zoidberg: It means it'll hatch into a tiny, little infant creature. Unless we cook it first. Hey, Leela! Hurry up with those scrambled infants!
Fry: What?! That's horrifying! Zoidberg, you're an in-Human monster.
Zoidberg: What are you? My driver's license?
Fry: Eating a sweet, innocent chick before it's even hatched?! Oh-ho-ho-ho, no, you won'tn't! I refuse to eat an unborn animal! I'm gonna keep this egg safe and warm and secure. Until it hatches out into the world. And then I'm gonna eat it!
Leela: Should we turn on the TV?
Hermes: Nah.
Fry: Bender, d'you mind? I'm roosting.
Bender: I'm considerin' buyin' a yacht to house my Thoroughbreds. How d'you expect me to do that without smokin' a cigar?
Fry: Think of the unborn embryo!
Bender: That's what I'm gonna call the yacht. Stop pickin' me! Whoa!
Fry: Hey! Leggo my egg-o, crab-o!
Hermes: Stop it, Fry! That's sexual harassment!
Zoidberg: Yeah, come down off your round, white pulpit! You're just gonna eat that thing, anyway!
Fry: I was, but you can't sit on something for a week without falling in love with it. Whoever's in here deserves a chance at life. A chance to blossom into a beautiful young man. Like I did as a baby. And so I make this solemn vow... To do everything I can to make sure this wonderful, innocent creature enters this world happy, healthy, an'- All yours, Zoidberg.
Bender: Aw! Look at the cute, little- I was gonna go yachting in those feet!
Leela: Relax, you babies. It's no different from stomping a puppy.
Fry: Everyone stop! He's not gonna hurt you.
Bender: I'm standin' in a pool of my own feet!
Hermes: Bender's right! Kill it before someone names it!
Fry: No! Mr. Peppy just wants to be our friend.
Hermes: Oy!
Fry: Look I know 'e's ugly and kinda corrosive, but we can't murder someone just 'cause he's hideous an' annoying.
Amy: That's what we said about Zoidberg and look what that got us.
Zoidberg: Amy has a point.
Fry: Mr. Peppy's not like Zoidberg. He's my friend.
Zoidberg: Aw!
Calculon: Where to... Adulterers?
Monique: Calculon?! Then it wasn't your body they found in the harbor after the bomb went off.
Calculon: What bomb?
Bender: It takes more than that to surprise me, Bender. What you doin', little buddy? Uh, yeah... Uncle Bender... He's your friend. Huh? Oh, you wanna play fetch! Come on, boy! Get the ball. Dumb jerk. Come on! Get the ball.
Hermes: Sweet freak of Mozambique! That thing's colossal! It's gonna kill us all!
Amy: It's so huge! How big does one o' those things get?!
Fry: Well, that depends on what one o' those things is. That seems like a fact worth knowing.
Farnsworth: Good, startling news, everyone!
Farnsworth: I found a description of the creature in this medieval monster manual. Just as I feared. Attack type J.
Amy: No! No!
Farnsworth: Yes! It kills its prey by sucking out the skeleton, leaving nothing but a puddle of flesh.
Amy: Ew!
Leela: Ugh!
Bender: Ew!
Farnsworth: Hence the Latin name bonus vampirus. Or, as you non-Catholics would say, the bone vampire!
Zoidberg: Dios mío.
Fry: That's ridiculous. Mr. Peppy doesn't eat bones. I raised 'im on a simple diet o' Brussels sprouts an' mixed soda.
Hermes: At least there's only one of 'em. The good news is they can't start breedin'.
Farnsworth: The bad news, everyone, is the beast reproduces asexually. A single bone vampire, left alone with some quiet music and some bone-vampire porn, could produce dozens of deadly offspring.
Zoidberg: That lucky bastard. I say kill it!
Fry: But it loves me! And I love it.
Zoidberg: Kill 'em both!
Leela: Killing them seems like a hassle. Can't we just set it free to live with its own kind?
Farnsworth: Poor, ignorant Leela. The bone vampire is now extinct on its home planet.
Leela: That's perfect! We can reintroduce it to the wild and repopulate the species!
Fry: Yeah! Let's do those Leela things.
Fry: Well, buddy, how d'ya like your new home? See? He's happy already.
Hermes: That thing doesn't have emotions, Fry. Its brain is the size of a walnut.
Fry: So are walnuts and they're delicious. I'll miss you, Mr. Peppy. But you'll be happier here. So... Go on. Go. Goodbye, Mr. Peppy. Come on, man. Don't do this. Go on now. I mean it. Don't make this any harder than it has to be. It's time to let go! Ow! Thanks, Leela. He just needed a little extra push.
Leela: Come on, Fry. Let's go home an'-
Bender: Hold up! There's alcohol around here somewhere. My Tanqueray-dar is goin' crazy. Aha-ha! Thought you could get away from me, huh? You lose again, you stupid intoxicant!
Zoidberg: We're not from around here. Hello!
Man #1:
Hermes: Excuse me, but we're guests on your planet. Speak English!
Man #2: Behave yourselves, gents. Off-worlders best be welcome here. Especially if we're trying to get the Olympics. May I buy you a drink? We don't get a lot of pretty faces around here.
Leela: Uh... Sure. But I'm driving. I'll just have the smallest whisky you've got.
Man #2: A small aquarium o' whisky for the busty lass!
Leela: Thanks. I suppose I should know your name if I'm gonna be drinking ten gallons of alcohol with you.
Man #2: McZongo. Angus McZongo. Major Angus McZongo. Handsome Major Angus McZongo. Esquire.
Leela: Ooh! Handsome and esquire. I'm Turanga Leela. My crew an' I are from Earth.
Angus Mczongo: So what brings you folks here to Doohan 6?
Amy: We just released an endangered animal back into the wild. A bone vampire!
Hermes: No need to thank us. Your shocked stares of gratitude say it all.
Angus Mczongo: Dear God. You brought back the bone vampire?! The damn things wreaked bloody havoc on our livestock for centuries!
Woman: Aye! Until McZongo 'ere shot 'em all into extinction, 'e did.
Man #3: Now we've got more livestock than we can slaughter. Oh, aye. 'Tis a Bonnie time to be an ignorant villager.
Man #4: We kinna have no murderin' bone vampires back 'ere!
Man #3: Kill it afore it puts a bun in its own oven and repopulates the bleedin' planet!
Fry: No!
Angus Mczongo: Angus is right.
Hermes: I thought you were named Angus.
Man #1: We're all named Angus!
Fry: Please! Mr. Peppy won't attack your livestock. He's a vegetarian and 'e's not even preachy about it!
Angus Mczongo: Poppycock. Once he gets the smell o' bones, there'll be no stoppin' 'im. Tonight, Mr. Peppy must die.
Leela: Angus, wait. My strictly platonic friend is right. At least wait a few days before you decide to kill it.
Angus Mczongo: The last time I hesitated, a bone vampire snicked out me left shin.
Leela: Please! Just a few days.
Angus Mczongo: Well, 'twould give us a chance to get to know each other. The beast lives! For now.
Leela: Thank you, Angus.
Men: You're welcome!
Fry: I don't trust that McZongo. Maybe I should go keep an eye on Mr. Peppy.
Leela: Don't worry about McZongo. He an' I are having brunch tomorrow. I'm thinking of wearing this.
Fry: It's nice! But there's still somethin' I don't like about that guy. My dad always said you could tell a lot about a man by the rigidity of 'is shins.
Zoidberg: What is?!
Man #1: UNKNOWN, Gryffindor, Slytherin an' Hufflepuff! It killed Little Angus!
Farnsworth: They're all dead! And their bones are gone! This was no accident.
Angus Mczongo: Still think your Mr. Peppy is harmless, Fry?
Fry: He wouldn't do this in our sleep. He would not, could not to a sheep.
Angus Mczongo: The deal is off! The beast must die!
Bender: Ooh! Pimpy!
Fry: What are we supposed to do? Just sit here and wait for Mr. Peppy to be killed?
Bender: Sounds like a plan! Guess I'll pass the time by lightin' up an El Jerko!
Leela: Okay! That's it! I need some air.
Leela: Who's there? Hermes, is this one o' your zany practical jokes?
Fry: Leela, are you okay? Did you drink too many aquaria?
Hermes: Look! The bone vampire!
Leela: Mr. Peppy attacked me. Quick! Count my bones. There should be two-hundred-and-five!
Leela: Okay. That's better. Keep 'em comin'!
Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but no vegetarian could've done this.
Fry: I know. An', as much as I love Mr. Peppy, I love Leela more. He has to be... Put down.
Amy: Aw, don't feel bad. Major McZongo's an experienced hunter. He'll blow Mr. Peppy's head off as painlessly as possible.
Fry: No! Not McZongo! If anyone's gonna kill Mr. Peppy, it should be me.
Zoidberg: Fry, I know you're upset right now, but I hope you'll consider donating the body to science dinner.
Fry: Here, Mr. Peppy. Mmm. Lovely bones.
Hermes: We've been walkin' for hours. I hope we can find our way back.
Amy: Don't worry. I left a trail of bread crumbs.
Bender: An' I left a trail of cigars!
Leela: You don't have to do this, Fry. Mr. Peppy just gave me a little love concussion.
Fry: Thanks, Leela, but I have no choice. I can't let my monstruous deboner get anywhere near you.
Hermes: There it is!
Fry: Well, this is it. You guys wait here. This is gonna kill him more than it does me. Goodbye, boy. I'll think of you whenever I sit on something round.
Amy: What's happening?! Did you kill it?!
Mr. Peppy: The bloody idiot bloody-shot me! I'm all bloody-bloody!
Bender: Wha?!
Fry: Mr. Peppy?! Bullets make you talk?!
Bender: That's not Mr. Peppy!
Amy: Jinkies! He Scooby-Doo-ed us!
Leela: Why, Major McZongo? Why?
Angus Mczongo: Oh, it's been thirty years since last I killed a bone vampire. The villagers dinna idolise me like they used to.
Amy: You seem pretty popular at the pub.
Angus Mczongo: I work there as a greeter! Your beast was my chance to be a hero again. But the damn thing was a vegetarian! So I slaughtered the sheep meself.
Leela: But why did you attack me?
Angus Mczongo: So I could impress you by seeking revenge on the creature. Us greeters don't get a lot of action. On paper, it seemed like a win-win situation.
Farnsworth: Do you realise what this means, Fry?! Your pet's not dangerous after all!
Fry: I told ya! Mr. Peppy's a lover, not a fighter. Like Dwayne "The Rock" "The Tooth Fairy" Johnson.
Zoidberg: UNKNOWN! Hey. What's that bone-sucking sound?
Fry: It's Mr. Peppy! I'd know 'im anywhere.
Leela: Huh. So, apparently, Major McZongo and Mr. Peppy were each doing about half the sheep killing.
Fry: Why, Mr. Peppy? Why? Ooh. That tickles. Now I really do have to kill you.
Man #3: Wait! Don't shoot. The beast is a godsend. Like I said, we've more livestock than we can slaughter. But, thanks to this ravenous bogle, that's nae more a problem.
Man #5: Angus is right. The cursed thing even debones 'em. Which is perfect for today's fast-paced, lazy consumer.
Man #1: Dersu Uzala, Yojimbo, Rashomon! The beast must live!
Leela: You know what the best part is? From now on, whenever we're eating fresh, organic space meat, we'll know exactly where it comes from.
Fry: One bucket o' double-friend, triple-salted, boneless sheep tots, please.
Teenaged Alien: What kinda cheese fillin' you want in that?
Fry: All kinds.
Leela: Eh... Make it two.
Leela: An' a small whisky. Large.