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UnoSapphire

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No topic for the forum this month. Feel free to discuss anything about the sub! As always...#Keep things civil. Rules still apply.One quick note - please don't downvote simple questions. Yes, the sidebar and FAQ have info about what ESH means, but it's not always immediately easy to see, depending on how you're accessing the site. And, this forum is exactly the place for questions like that.Otherwise, have at it! If your part of the world is celebrating a holiday, enjoy and be safe!___#Please do not directly link to posts/comments or post uncensored screenshots here. Any comments with links will be removed.---We'd like to highlight the regional spinoffs we have linked on the sidebar! If you have any suggestions or additions to this, please let us know in the comments.

Is the author male?

I (18m) love the colour pink, always have. Ive never cared its a "girls" colour and i guess i was lucky to have a mum who didnt care either and would buy me and my siblings things regardless of colour or gendering without all the weird "no, its for girls/boys" some other parents do. Its been really cold lately so ive been wearing this really warm hoodie i have that happens to be pink. Its nice and fluffy and oversized, i love the thing. Anyways my uncle came over yesterday and he can be a bit of a prick. He was immediedly taking the piss out of my hoodie and eventually told me to take it off, that i shouldnt be wearing pink. To that i told him to get fucked, after that he got huffy and left 10 mins later calling me an ass. AITA?

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My husband and I are expecting our first child together. When we met we actually talked about names and were on the same page about them. He mentioned how his sister died as an infant and he wanted to make it clear he wasn't comfortable with giving names to honor family members. I told him I understood and when the name itself came up, I mentioned how it was a very fortunate thing he felt that way because her name (Emily) was the name of the girl who made my life hell for many years when I was younger.We didn't discuss names much since then but did occasionally. Then when we got pregnant my ILs were so excited and asked if we had considered the name Emily for a girl. That they felt like it would be a beautiful way to honor their late daughter and my husband's late sister.He spoke to them four times about this and after the last time he came to me and said he had a change of heart and would like to honor Emily. I told him I couldn't agree to the name for our daughter given my history with the Emily in my past. He asked me if I could go to therapy and work on accepting the name. He told me how much it means to him now and that he truly feels like it would be a great honor to both his sister and our daughter, who would get a name that means something to her family. I told him I wasn't willing to go to therapy for that. I told him we could go to therapy to discuss a way forward. He agreed. We did start going to therapy.The topic has not dropped. I did a complete veto for the name. My husband doesn't like it but his parents are the ones who are angry. They told me I should let go of all childhood troubles. That the Emily from my past was "a nasty little bitch who should have never seen the light of day" but she's not the only Emily and my daughter deserves to hold a piece of family history in her name, to have a name that means more than just something we picked because we liked it.For those who will ask about my history with Emily. I won't go into all the details. But. The police were involved as we got older. She was arrested twice for the stuff that was going on. I did not have a family to support me and was left open to someone who hated my guts for a decision out of my control, made by a teacher in the second grade (making us seat buddies). It didn't actually end until she was permanently expelled from school when we were 17. I did go to therapy after this. But I still have bad memories and an awful association with the name Emily.So AITA?

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My dad had an affair with my mom's supposed best friend Cheryl. Three years ago Cheryl pulled me (15m) aside and told me about the affair and that she wanted my help to make my siblings still love her when they found out. She was someone we were all close with. I'm the baby of the family and the "favorite" of everyone, which I don't see as true, but it's a bit of a joke and I am the baby so I do get people looking out for me more. This is something Cheryl tried to use to her advantage. She put me in the worst position by telling me about the affair because she hoped my siblings would love me too much to hate her if I told them not to. I was so angry at her and at dad. I didn't want to be the one to tell mom. I didn't want to see her break down. But I knew I needed to. Mom was furious, more at Cheryl for involving me than the affair at first. My dad defended Cheryl and said she had known me my whole life and should be allowed to confide in me. It turned into a really big fight. My siblings hated them more for trying to involve me too.During the divorce we all said we wanted to stay with mom. The judge ruled I had to go to my dad's until I was 14. So for two years I had to go to dad's house every other week. I made it my mission to make life harder for them that whole time. I refused to go along with the happy family shit they tried to pull. Which only got WAY worse when Cheryl was pregnant and they wanted to do a pregnancy reveal with me in it and I said no. After the baby was born they thought I would soften and would want to know their baby, I didn't. The last time I was at their house Cheryl was pregnant again.I turned 14 and stopped going. I refuse to answer texts from them either (can't block my dad until I turn 18). My siblings have them both blocked and they refuse to engage with them. Cheryl and my dad's families are living closer to them now and both ask about us and why we're not around. Dad's family have tried to reach out and get me to reconcile but I told them it would not happen and I hate my dad.Cheryl confronted me while I was at the mall the other day. She followed me into different stores and said I have two younger siblings I should know and that I loved her before so I should stop punishing her and dad and start being more respectful. I had enough when I realized she wasn't going to walk away and I told her she's disgusting and repulsive for trying to use me to her advantage, a 12 year old kid, when she was having an affair with dad. I told her I would never show her any respect and she and dad could explain to their kids why they'll never be part of mine or my siblings lives. But I'm not going to let them guilt me into anything.She has used dad's phone a bunch since then and I got over 100 texts already. Mom told them to stop and bullying a child after all they did makes them look even worse. The response back was I'm a disrespectful child who should be taught better.AITA?

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I use a wheelchair most of the time as I cannot walk more than short distances. My flatmate’s girlfriend has been staying with us for a week and will be leaving in a few days because of damages at her house. She hasn’t stayed here before and I hadn’t met her before.She seemed fairly nice but there were several things she did that made me feel uncomfortable, such as asking my flatmate, “What’s wrong with his legs?” (While I was in the same room as her, mind you!). She kept referring to me as “wheelchair bound” and how much of a shame it was that I couldn’t live “normally”. I asked her not to use that phrase, as “wheelchair bound” is inaccurate in case, and it also has negative connotations that I don’t agree with.The lift broke in my building (not a common occurrence, thankfully) and I’m on the third floor so I had to work from home for a couple days. She said it was such a shame that I am now restricted from going outside all because of the fact that I am “wheelchair bound”. I was pretty frustrated with her comments at this point as I had already asked her multiple times not to use that terminology. Besides, the problem is more to do with the lifts than with me. So I decided to do the same to her as she had been doing to me.She wears glasses because she is legally blind and I have taken to saying “It’s such a shame, that your glasses bound, it must be so hard for you.” I do this any time they are mentioned, whether she is asking my flatmate to pass them to her, looking for them, or even just at random moments when I feel like it.She said it’s annoying and patronising and that I’m being immature. My flatmate has asked me to stop, saying I shouldn’t have gone to her level by making fun of her disability and that I’m now just as bad as her.Edit: I know that many people don’t find “wheelchair bound” to be offensive. I don’t find it very offensive, but I don’t like it being used about me because it is incorrect. Besides, it’s a word that I’m not comfortable being labelled as and I think she should respect that anyway.

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I (32F) live in my suburban neighborhood where everyone knows everyone. My husband (35M) and I recently build a treehouse in our backyard for our two kids (6F and 8M). the treehouse is a hit with our children and they spend hours in it every day. However our neighbours kids (7F and 7M) started comming over almost daily just to play in the treehouse. At first me and my husband allowed it because its nice seeing our kids have godd friend and a good time togehter. Their visits became more frequent and they left a mess behind almost every time. Last time i found juice boxes and candy wrappers all over the floor and our garden. I asked their mother Linda to remind her kids to clean up after themselves. She responded with "Kids will be kids". After this i decided to set some boundaries and i told Linda that her kids can't come over to play unless they learn to clean up after themselves or if my kids invite them over. Linda was furious about this and she started telling everyone i ruined her kids summer. My husband supports me in my decision but i am starting to feel guilty AITA for not allowing Lindas kids to play in our treehouse when they feel like it?

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I (30m) have three children with my wife. Lainey (6f), Rosie (4f) and Theo (1m). The kids have a few different grandparents. My wife's parents are divorced and her mom and dad and gramma and grandpop, her stepdad and stepmom are grandpa name and grandma name. We call my mom grandma but she died a couple of decades ago and the kids never met her. But we still talk about her and they know about her. My dad is grandpa and his wife insisted she was going to be grandma and not grandma name. My dad fought hard for his wife to not have her name added like the other stepgrandparents. He told me the kids won't know my mom so why would I push his wife out. She wanted to be given a mom title by me as well but I only ever called her by her first name.Lainey was asking questions around my wife's family about why gramma and grandpop are married to different people and why they're grandma name and grandpa name. It was explained to her that her mom's parents are divorced and she has stepparents so they're titled a little differently. She said her friends talked about that. My step ILs said they wanted to be respectful of her biological grandparents.Last weekend my dad and his wife stopped by and my daughter asked my dad's wife why she's just grandma and not grandma name like some of her other grandparents. My dad's wife told her it's what she wanted to be called and she felt that's what someone should call their grandma from their dad. Lainey asked her why she didn't wanna respect my mom like her other grandparents wanted to respect her mom's parents by using her name too. I let her ask the questions. I said nothing. Neither did my wife. This pissed my dad's wife off so bad, which pissed my dad off.They told me I should have stopped my daughter asking the questions and that I shouldn't have been okay with her claiming she isn't a real grandparent or a real parent to me. I told them I had always been clear that I did not consider her my parent and I was clear I wanted her to be something other than just grandma but they insisted and I relented for my kids' sake. They told me I shouldn't be letting my daughter question dad's wife's place in the family like she was.AITA?

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My parents announced two months ago that they're getting divorced. I (16f) did kinda see it coming but it still makes me sad. My half sister (25f) has been celebrating ever since she heard. She cheered when our dad told her. She has gloated in my mom's and my faces. She told mom she can forget about being a part of her life or going to her wedding now, half sister is engaged. My half sister always hated that dad remarried after her mom died, when she was 5, and she said she never wanted to have my mom or me around. She was always praying for the end of the marriage. She used to try and break them up in the past. Dad would get so mad and frustrated with her but she never let the dream die and now her dream has come true.The last time mom or I saw my half sister was when dad was moving out. She stopped by briefly and she gloated so hard. This was also when she told mom she was no longer invited to the wedding and no longer going to be a part of her life. My mom was upset. Despite my half sister's dislike of her and constant disrespect, my mom loves her and she's sad to see it all end before they had a chance to be even friends. Though my mom always wanted to be family to my half sister.My maternal aunt saw my sister had posted on social media a party she threw and it turned out she was celebrating the divorce. My parents were upset. I could shrug it off because I knew she'd be so happy about this and her celebration does not surprise me at all. But my parents asked me why I'm so calm and collected about this. I told them I expected her reaction and I always knew she wanted this badly. They said they would expect me to be upset. I told them maybe if I expected different from her but I didn't. I pointed out that everyone in her comments knew too. There were loads about how she always called it and how glad they were she got this win. To me it's so dumb.My aunt confronted me afterward and told me I should be making a bigger deal out of it because it looks like I don't care about the weird and over the top reaction from my half sister. She said mom must feel like I don't care about her heartache at all. That it's rough to see a child she loved and helped raise cheer on the fact she's getting divorced from dad.AITA?

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My husband John (24) left me home alone during the 4th of July weekend. I'm 29 weeks pregnant, and I had begged him not to go. John is very close to his family, but we live around 3 hours away, so we don't visit them often. Whenever we have multiple days off, John tends to make solo trips to see them. He spent 4 days visiting them during Mother's Day and another 3 days during the 4th of July weekend. This situation upsets me greatly because I had asked him not to go. I was crying and practically begging, but he still left.A little background: our pregnancy is considered high risk due to multiple miscarriages, and I have a single vessel umbilical cord. Last year around this time, I had a miscarriage of our first girl, and now I'm 29 weeks pregnant with another girl. I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety about history repeating itself, so I pleaded with John not to leave me home alone. Unfortunately, I couldn't go with him because I couldn't take time off work, and these plans were made last minute (less than 2 weeks in advance). Additionally, we have 2 dogs and 3 cats that we would need to arrange care for during such a busy weekend. These dogs are stranger reactive so we have to let our friends know in advance if we need them to come watch our dogs.I also want to mention that we are set to spend 3 days with his family in 3 weeks, already planned, so I don't understand why he was so insistent on going this weekend. I've been a bit short with him all weekend, and now he's saying I'm in the wrong for being upset that he chose to see his family instead. I don't see how I can move past him leaving me at vulnerable time. AITA?Edit: a little more context: He was the one that wanted kids, after 2 miscarriages I was done trying but he really wanted to try again and this is the 3rd try. I'm not exactly sure what he's doing down there he is staying with his cousin visiting family is all he says, I know he is at his cousin due to his location but besides that it's nothing super important from what I understand.

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I (28F) wrok at a small office with about 10 other people. Our office has a shared kitchen with basic things inside it, including a selection of generic mugs, glasses for everyone to use. I prefer to use my own personal mug i got from my grandma as a gift. For me it has sentimental value and it has a unique design i love. A few weeks ago I noticet that my mug was missing from my desk. After some searching i found it as my coworker ,lets call him daniel, was briging it back from his desk. I nicely told him that the mug is special to me and i asked him to not use it again. He understood, apologized and said he didn't realize it was personal. A few days later i se him again with my mug and i reminded him again, he looked a bit annoyed but agreed with me. Yesterday the mug was gone again and when i found it in the sink i put it in my desk drawer when i wasn't using it. Daniel saw me and confromted me about it saying i was petty and that it's just a mug. I said that it has sentimental value to me and then he told me that i was overly possesive. Since then a couple other coworkers said i overreacted and that it's just a mug. AITA for not letting Daniel use my mug?

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So I 28F have moved to the US three years ago with my husband 30M after getting our Greencards approved. We moved to central Florida, notorious for all it’s tourist attractions. Since we moved, my sister 33F and her family Husband 37M, nephew 13M and niece 11F have visited every year around this time. We love to host and even bought a house to accommodate family and friends visiting (2 guest bed). The issue started on the 3rd day of their visit. I left the night before for a night shift at the hospital and my husband had a very early one. When I got home by 1pm I found my puppy (9month) locked in the garage! He doesn’t have access to that area because there is no AC there (this is Florida in the summer!) and I am afraid he will run away when the door opens.It was pure luck that he was laying down so close to the entry door, or I could have ran him over before I saw him! He was lethargic and breathing heavily, so I immediately took him to the vet. He was overheated and dehydrated. And he could have passed if I hadn’t gotten there when I did.I finally returned home at about 7pm. When I entered I instantly saw my favorite vase (I got it from my late grandma) wasn’t in the center table. I opened the trash only to find it there, in pieces. I was already fuming about my puppy. When I pulled up the images from the house cameras I had recently installed bc of the dog. In the images I saw that at 9ish the kids said goodbye to my husband and their parents and when they left, they proceeded to discuss e whose turn was it to break something. My nephew argued that he had done it last year, so it was my niece’s turn. My niece then proceeded to throw 1 grass on the floor. At which point my puppy got fussy and started barking. They got annoyed so they took him to the garage before returning, picking up my vase and smashing on the floor. When their parents returned they simply said they had an accident. My sister cleaned it up and they made their way to the parks!My blood boiled. I immediately packed their bags and put it by the door (my husband arrived and helped out).As soon as they arrived I told them how their kids behaved, that they caused harm to my dog and broke something irreplaceable to me. My sister tried to argue that it was an accident and that they’re just kids and I shoved the video into her face. She still tried to argue saying we were family and she didn’t have money to pay for s hotel for the rest of the trip and it was the middle of the night. I simply stated I didn’t care and she had to take her little monsters away from me. She left screaming and then crying. Obviously, this morning I woke up to several messages in the family group calling me all sorts of names for kicking them out in a different country and how I was being mean. My mom wrote about how disappointed she was at me.I didn’t have the energy to reply to anyone back yet, but before I do… AITA?

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AITA for not giving up my seat on the 10 hour plane ride? So I (25F) went on a 10 hour plane ride out of the country around a week ago! I booked the aisle seat because I don’t like having to climb over people to go to the restroom! We’re about to take off when a mother of I think a 9 or so year old comes up to me and asks if we can switch seats, (she had a middle seat) I told her no and I p liked it for a reason! She got very mad and started yelling and her kid was crying, I just put in my headphones and didn’t gaf! When the plane landing a got nasty comments and was called a horrible person and an asshole! So was I the AH?EDIT- just answering some common questions, the kid was sitting close to or next to his mom form what I could see. I had an empty seat next me where I assume th kid would have sat.And I am sorry about the explanation points folks lmao

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My whole familly has a long standing tradition of weekly game nights every friday. For the past few years we have gatherd every friday to play various bord and card games togehter. It started as a fun way to bond us all together but lately it became a source of stress for me. Over the pasat months my siblings have become increasingly competitive, often leading to arguments and bad feelings. What used to be fun now is a unpleasant experience. I've tried to suggest less competitive games or taking a break one or twice a month from friday game nights. Last friday things got hot and a heated argument broke out over a game of Uno. I decided that i cant handle this anymore and i told them i won't be participating anymore. They were upset and acused me of ruining a l9ovely familly tradition. I understand that game night is important but it's no longer fun for me. AITA for not wanting to play with them anymore?

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I (27F) recently adopted a cat named clover form a shelter. My friend Emma (27 F) helped me to get supplies and she has been suportive, but she dislikes the name clover and keeps suggesting more "elegant" names like Seraphina or Athena. Despite my polite reminders that i want to keep the name clover, Emma continues to call her by her imagined names she wants to call clover. I firmly asked her to stop and use Clover's name. Ema got upset saying she deserves a say since she helped me with Clover. Now Emma is distant and telling mutual friends that i am ungreatfull and controlling. AITA for insisting on keepng Clovers name?

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I celebrated the 4th with my inlaws they had a crab bake. I have a 2 year old and he’s not picky at all and really enjoyed eating the crab. My IL got my son a bib and little crab hat. My mom and sister have always been judgmental about my husband’s family lifestyle. I ate most grilled cheese and cut up hotdogs at that age. I was also always forced to order from the kids menu past the time I should have in order to save money. My mom had the idea of children’s food vs adult food so I wasn’t allowed to eat anything she would call fancy. My husband was brought up different and he was allowed to eat whatever his parents eat. His mom made one meal for all. So he could have steak, crab, and lobster if the adults were. My MIL took many cute videos of my toddler because it is her first grandchild and she was having a kick feeding him crab. Both had an amazing time. My MIL posted her videos and my sister shared them saying how it wrong to spoil toddler that age and posted it in her mom group for thrifty moms shaming me. My mom also had a lot of comments about it and blocked my husband and I from seeing it. She did not block my MIL and she saw it and was angry at my sister for speaking about her grandbaby like that. My sister and her child has a birthday coming up next week and my husband refuses to or let me take out son. I decided not to go either after this. My mom and sister thinks I should get over it. The thing is my husband and I was paying for the cake because both my mom and sisters are broke. He is now refusing to do that or get my nephew anything. My sister took to blasting us on social media again calling me a ungrateful gold digger and I will get what’s coming when my husband cheats on me and leaves me like men like him always do.

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My stepsister and her husband separated for over 2 years because my stepsister didn't feel like her husband was a present enough father. In his defence he works a lot and is the only reason she has such an easy life so our family did think she was making a huge mistake but we chose to stay out of it because she's overly sensitive and would've taken anything we said the wrong way.Her husband didn't want to divorce so she gave him a long list of terms he had to follow for her to consider getting back together. One of the terms were that when their son was with him he couldn't hire a nanny to care for him because she wanted him to prove he would put their son before work and everything else. Sometimes he just couldn't do it so he asked me to watch their son multiple times, including once when he went abroad. He asked me not to say anything to my stepsister and since the money was good I kept his secret. My stepsister took him back 3 months ago which is when our arrangement stopped. Unfortunately, my husband let something slip in front of her which made her suspect. She asked me and I'm horrible at lying so it all came out and now she's angry at both me and her husband. The aftermath hasn't been great and she's considering leaving him again which is making him threaten me and my husband in turn. My family are taking his side even though none of this would've happened if it wasn't for him.AITA?

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I, (20F) have a college roommate “Michelle” (34F) who I share summer housing with in our university’s dorms. Michelle is super sweet to me and despite our age gap we get along really nicely. It’s a great dorm situation and I think Michelle sees me as a little sister. I mostly like to cook my meals in our dorm kitchen but sometimes I treat myself to eating out. This is where the problem started. A lot of the time, Michelle will join me to eat out, either because she’s free and I want company when my friends are busy or because she invited me somewhere and I was free to come along. Lately, Michelle had been showering me in extra attention and even paying for most of my meals when we eat out. She’s super generous with her money but has no job and is completely reliant on her parents. I always told her that it was fine and that I could pay for myself but she always refused.One day we went out to eat at a slightly nicer sushi restaurant to celebrate being done with midterms. To put it as politely as possible, Michelle is a bigger girl so she ordered dumpling appetizers, 5 sushi roles, and a drink. She usually orders 2-3 meals per restaurant we go to. I got one sushi roll and water because it was $10-$17 a roll and I’m not a big eater. When we were halfway through the meal, Michelle suggests that it’s my turn to pay for both our meals. I say, what do you mean? We never set up any kind of agreement. She got really upset, claiming that she “paid for all my other meals” and it was my turn to pay her back now. I told her I’m grateful that she was generous enough to pay for my other meals but I didn’t know there was an expectation to return the favor, especially because she ordered disproportionately more food than me and I couldn’t afford that much for one meal. Michelle got pissed and said something about how “your parents are so rich you can afford anything” and how one meal won’t break my bank. It’s true that my parents are paying for my college expenses and I’m eternally grateful that I won’t end up with any debt, but they give me a strict monthly budget that covers my groceries and gas. All the money I use to treat myself comes from my summer job. I told her that and she went silent for the rest of the meal. When we were finished, I made sure to ask for separate checks and she hasn’t said a word to me since. I’m really worried that this caused a rift in our friendship, maybe I was being unreasonable and I should have just paid for her meal. AITA?

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Hi everyone,I need some perspective on a situation with my group project. I've been very active and done most of the work on the assignment from the beginning. I was always working ahead to ensure we could deliver our drafts on time.However, recently I got into a car accident and was admitted to the hospital. I informed the group chat about this and explained that I wouldn't be able to participate as much in finishing the rest of the assignment. I mentioned that I would help as much as I could but working with a broken wrist and a concussion is really hard. I even apologized for "abandoning" them. Out of the three other group members, only one responded to my message.The next day, I noticed that my name was removed from the cover page of the assignment. I thought this was strange and a bit hurtful, considering my situation. I haven't confronted them about it yet, and I'm not planning to.Here’s what I’m considering: As I am the owner of the OneDrive file, I can remove their access to the document, put my name back on the cover page, and submit the assignment myself (everyone has to submit it individually to get a grade).AITA for wanting to do this and pay them back for removing my name without any communication?**EDIT** for extra info: The instructor is aware of my situation, but expects us to figure stuff like this out on our own.I would say I have done about 45% of the whole assignment by myself.

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The wedding is off. After the conflict between me and my brother's former fiancée, which resulted in a phone call from my brother, I decided to text her 3 days later to apologize. Even though my family and the internet sided with me, I just didn't want any bad mojo or to be a SIL from hell. My text was met with a lot of anger on my dad's behalf, which really surprised me because the man supports me no matter what. He was telling me how I shouldn't have been the one to apologize and he let another thing slip out - end of February, the bride's dad asked my dad, in confidence, if he could pitch in additional money for his daughter's dream wedding because he didn't think it was fair he had to pay more due to tradition. My mom didn't know about this which prompted fight number one.My dad was pissed that I was the one to apologize even though I was the one that was insulted, so he called my brother behind our backs and told him that he respects the fact that she will be his wife and his primary family, but how he also thinks he should've checked her for insulting me the same way he checked me for crossing a boundary. He then did what dads sometimes do best - go off with a monologue after keeping shit inside for months. He told him about the additional money that he gave and he told him he wasn't convinced the overlapping events were a coincidence. Fight number two ensued. My brother called our mom the next day to tell her the wedding was off, all hell broke loose. We then couldn't get in touch with my brother or his fiancée for almost a week. Her mom then got ahold of my work email and emailed me saying I had ruined her daughter's life. I forwarded the email to my brother and he finally called me back. He said it felt like she wanted to marry for the wedding, not for the marriage. She also admitted to making her dad ask our dad for more money so she could afford a wedding flower package she wanted that was an additional $7000, and she saw nothing wrong with keeping it a secret from my brother. She also refused to at least acknowledge my apology and to apologize back to me. My brother told her he would like to postpone the wedding and work on their issues and she ended up calling off the wedding and breaking up with him. My relationship with my brother is still a wreck, he said he needs time because he loves her but he understands she didn't prioritize him as much as he did her. Grandma's birthday bash is back on, and we're happy for her, she's excited as heck after the initial turmoil. I miss my brother so much and it sucks knowing how heartbroken he is, but at least he's talking to my parents and he has the rest of the family as his support system. I really hope we can rebuild our relationship someday. I'm glad he won't marry the wrong person for the wrong reasons, but it's awful being the trigger to his life falling apart and I regret everything.

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My husband and I are happily married and have one child together. He has one daughter from a previous relationship. We get along great with his ex and her husband. They weren't together long as they were lifelong friends who briefly tried dating and realized they were better as friends, even after the birth of their daughter.Everyone gets along with the exception of their daughter, who really doesn't get along with anyone. She stayed with her aunt and when she left a couple weeks later, her cousin had to start therapy. The aunt went low contact with all of us. Her grandmother stopped having her for more than a couple days because her blood pressure can't take it. She's been in therapy, asked if something has happened to her, but she is just defiant. She has been diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder.Her mother and step father have started therapy because of the constant stress of having her around. We told them that of course we would have her stay with us. It's been miserable. She goes out of her way to do the opposite of what anyone asks her to do. Refuses to do basic chores i.e. picking up her own trash and dirty clothes. We gave her the household chore of vacuuming once a day in the three rooms that have carpet. It takes maybe fifteen minutes. We found out she "traded" our son then complained when she was caught that it wasn't fair he got the easier job of watering two plants. We told her that not only is he only 8 yo but he is developmentally delayed and has muscular dystrophy and can barely push the vacuum. Not only that but he's nonverbal and couldn't tell her no. He just did as he was told.The last straw was when I went into her room to put clothes away and noticed her pile of leftover food and wrappers. Id told her multiple times it needed thrown away. I decided to do it that time because it was starting to mold and she would lose food in her room privileges. I picked it up and there were a couple roaches. We called an exterminator and he said, they were only in her room and we were lucky to find it early and it most likely happened because instead of throwing her trash away, she just threw it out the window and left the window open. My husband says we shouldn't have kicked her out because now resents us and feels like we are giving up on her. I said I understood that as a parent but at what point does she have to stop making all of us miserable? Besides I think the best thing is to finally make her take some responsibility for herself and despite efforts with therapy, attempted quality time, punishments, encouragements, he is just enabling her at this point. Ultimately, I purchased the house prior to marriage and it's still in my name. I refuse to have my son live with someone who will take advantage of him and live in a house with roaches and mold. My husband and I are starting therapy soon for ourselves as well because of this and she is staying with the second friend because the first made her leave.AITA?Edit: Step daughter is 19.

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I am 22M going on 23, in my 5th year of my undergrad, and my family likes to do long vacations every summer in their camper. They were traveling all summer and we met up with them, and from the moment we met up with them my dad especially has not talked to me or been very nice towards me. He had his own share of stuff that happened on the trip with his truck which is what I initially thought the issue was. After a few nights my mom brought up how they wanted to renovate their basement into a 1 bedroom apartment, partly so I can move in without rent, partly to raise the value of their house.This year I had many problems with apartments, having to move 3 times because of roommates, ex girlfriends, and/or landlord issues, which led to my parents trying to convince me it would be best for me to move into their basement. With my financial issues, they pitched it as a way for me to save money and stress. My brother has been following every piece of advice they give him and he is obviously favored because of this, on top of his major being one that will start higher then I will probably ever end up with (I’m going to be a music teacher). I also had gotten caught smoking weed a few years ago which I still do and don’t tell them, but I feel like if I tell them anything about my life it immediately is followed by advice I didn’t ask for or an opinion I didn’t ask for. I told my family I didn’t want to move into their basement because of the amount of fighting that happens whenever we live together, on top of me wanting to live independently as I feel like I’ve always been reliant on my parents and in their shadows (my dad was my high school science teacher so I never felt like I was able to fully define who I was in school cause of that, another major issue we had back in the day). Long story short, now my parents things I’m being stupid for not doing the more financially smart thing and moving back in with them, when I have a full time job as a manager of a restaurant on top of going to school. It’s stressful but not as bad for my mental health as me living with them full time. I’m in a bit of credit card debt but nothing a few months of work couldn’t fix. Now I just feel like no matter what I say to them I will be the asshole of the family for not taking their charity when I just want to live my own life and figure out who I am outside of them. They still so things like track my phone and refuse to let me have my own bank account, and are still trying to pay for my school, but I feel like no matter what I do from here I will be the asshole if I don’t follow their “advice”

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Throwaway for privacy reasons. English is not my first language, I hope everything will make sense.So, my in-laws have wanted to go on vacation with my husband, me and our kids ever since our first child (10) was born. I was always against going together, while my husband felt indifferent towards it but supported me in my wishes. His parents are nice people, but they do like to control everyone around them and a vacation with them just would not feel like a vacation at all.For this summer, my husband and I had booked a rather expensive family hotel, and got insurance so we could cancel, should something better come along. His parents asked for our travel details, which we did not find strange, because my husband always shares these things with them anyway (they pretty much have to know every little detail of all our lives).Last week, my husband and I decided to change our plans. It's still three weeks until our vacation. We felt a bit bad about the hotel we had booked initially but it is very popular and as far as I know, they already had a waiting list anyway. So far, so good.Yesterday, my in-laws were at our place and when we told them about our new plans, they blew up. Apparently, they had wanted to surprise us and have booked the same week at the same hotel. The don't like the hotel or the destination, but they finally wanted an opportunity to go on a family vacation with us. They also haven't gotten any insurance, so if they cancel now, they will still be charged about half the price.They are not poor, but they are both retired and losing this kind of money will hurt. They don't plan on going without us. Of course, my husband's side of the family is now mad at us and blame us for everything. Choosing such an expensive hotel, changing our plans and also for not agreeing on going on vacation with my in-laws in the first place. They say, we basically "forced" them to be sneaky about it.Here's why I think I may be the AH: My husband wants to reimburse them. Admittedly, we could afford it, but I still don't want to. I say they need to learn their lesson, or we will be dealing with this scenario every year from now on. However, my husband's siblings say I am the AH, because in the end, my husband will be suffering. Knowing my in-laws, they will hold this against us for years to come and it will be an uncomfortable topic on every family event. I've learned to ignore them, but my husband has been conditioned to cater to their needs and feel guilty if he doesn't. 

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My wife (24F) and I (28M) had our first baby five months ago. We’ve been together for 6 years, married for 5. He is a beautiful little boy and we gave him the same first name as my wife’s father, ‘Keith’.My wife grew up hating her father for cheating on her mother and abandoning the family. In the past decade, he worked tirelessly to improve their relationship. In her family, it’s typically tradition for the first grandson and granddaughter to be named after their grandparents and my wife was proud to name our son after her father.However, a few weeks ago, my wife and her father had a MASSIVE argument. Turns out, he is convinced that for some reason, I am going to cheat on my wife. He thinks we got married too young and I’ll get bored of her now that she’s devoting all her time to our son.He told my wife this after she opened up to him about how worried she was about being pregnant so soon after giving birth. We didn’t plan the second pregnancy and a few days after the argument my wife miscarried and it was a painful moment for the both of us. Essentially, he kicked her while she was already down for no reason. I had a friendly relationship with him but I know he wanted my wife to marry someone from her own background. Since the argument, my wife has not been calling our son by his name. She’s using nicknames, calling him ‘the baby’ etc. She said that she needs time to get over the argument with her dad, but she also blames him for the miscarriage which is something I don’t think she’ll get over. FIL has made no attempts to apologise or reconcile.A month into my wife refusing to use our baby’s name, I said that we needed to change it because it’ll be better for my wife’s mental health and our son’s development. If this argument continues or is ever brought up again, she can’t be too upset to use his name when he’s old enough to actually know it.We’ve started the process now to change the name and somehow it got back to FIL AND he knows that I suggested it. He is infuriated. He said that I was supposed to be the levelheaded one since my wife is post partum and recovering from a miscarriage and that I’ve just made their rift a million times worse since I’ve denied him the family tradition. My in laws think I’m an asshole for insisting on the name change since now it’ll be even harder for them to reconcile. I don’t think I’m an AH but my brother said it would be a good idea to get an unbiased opinion. AITA?Edit: Keith is not the real name. Just used it for the post.

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I live in NYC. I am not rich by any means, but I luckily inherited an apartment in my early 20’s, so I’m not so poor that I can’t afford to splurge for a night if I spend a few months saving for it since I don’t pay NYC levels of rent. Which I do a few times a year, this time I had my eyes on a pretty exclusive restaurant. For example, I made the reservations for two in January. I didn’t have a girlfriend or intend on making a date out of this when I made the reservation. Just wanted to casually have fun and enjoy the food and drinks. A few weeks ago, I got a text reminder about my upcoming reservation, and I invited my gf who I’ve now been seeing for 5 months. She asked where the reservation was for, I told her, and she said it was too expensive. I told her of course it was on my dime, and she still said no, that it was too expensive, she would feel too bad if I spent that much money on her. For the third and final time, I asked her, told her I was paying and WANTED to pay for her, and she said no. I asked a few friends and they all had plans or weren’t interested, and then decided I would take my baby brother. So the day of, we got dressed to the 9’s, we went to our reservation. Afterwards, we went to a fancy hotel and swam around in the pool, walked around the city at 3AM, just having fun. Honestly, it was one of the best nights of my life just being a big kid with adult money with my baby brother. And I told my girlfriend that verbatim when I got back to my apartment the next morning (she stayed the night with our shared cat). I didn’t think I did anything wrong initially, but she started bawling her eyes out REALLY heavily and telling me I had no idea how sad it was for her that I went out and had the time of my life while she was alone in my apartment. I asked why she was feeling so sad about it and she said she thought I was planning something major and romantic, and that she was disappointed that I didn’t try harder to get her to go. I didn’t know what to do so I apologized but reminded her firmly that I invited her multiple times, and she said she really wanted to go but that she just felt bad that she couldn’t pay for herself. I told her that sounds really immature. If I offer to do something and say I want to do it, and you say no, I don’t think it’s cool to cry to me about how much you wanted to go. I tried to explain this to her but she just cried harder. I don’t know what to do. She has NEVER acted like this, we don’t argue at all. This is the healthiest relationship that I’ve ever seen or been in. I mean, I love her, I am really deeply in love with this girl, and I’m wondering if I handled anything about this the wrong way or insensitively. I told her that she was 100000% invited on my next excursion and she said she would “think about it” but that this ruined the idea of her going on one with me.

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I'm (16m) an affair baby. My dad's first wife was terminally ill and he had an affair with my mom throughout the two years of her life and I was the result of that, born just after she died. My parents got married a month later and divorced filed for divorce 4 months later and dad got custody of me. Dad's kids from his first wife hated me. They hated him too. But they despised me. They called me disgusting, said I should never have been born, they told me they wished I could have died instead of their mom. It was awful. They were 11 and 12 years older than me so old enough to be aware of what dad did and old enough to really hate me.Dad married for a third time when I was 5 and he had three more kids with my stepmom. My half siblings cut contact with us BUT we would see them at our grandparents house sometimes and they used to be nicer, though not loving exactly, to my younger half siblings. They would always make sure I could see them treating them better too. My stepmom would brush me off if I mentioned how they treated me. Dad did nothing and my grandparents used to scold me for not spending time with all my siblings during family holidays and stuff, which is when we saw them most frequently. If I mentioned why I was isolated they would tell me it was all in my head.I had some really fucked up self esteem issues for a while. I also know my family treated me like it was no big deal because I'm a guy and if I'd been a girl I can almost guarantee my feelings would have mattered more to my dad and grandparents.So the yelling thing happened two weeks ago. We were all gathered to celebrate my grandma's birthday. All the extended family were together and grandma wanted a photo of all her grandkids and great grandkids (she has a few, including from one of my half siblings). My older half siblings said they refused to be in a photo with me and refused to have their kids be in a photo with me and asked grandma if she really wanted a disgusting affair baby in the photo. Grandma was like of course, we're all her grandkids. One of my younger half siblings asked what that and one of my older half siblings told them dad cheated on their mom and had me while their mom was dying and it made me disgusting.I was still expected to get in the photo. I looked to my dad and my grandparents who kept encouraging me to get in. Which is when I lost it and started yelling at them for standing by my half siblings more than me. I asked how they expected me to be okay after shit like that is said and nobody says a damn thing. I was scolded some more and grounded for ruining my grandma's birthday and raising my voice at them.AITA?

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My sisters flight is landing at 11 and my parents flight is landing at 1 today and they asked me to pick up my sister and then go pick them up. I talked with my grandmas and we all thought this was a kinda crazy so I texted my sister and said do you mind getting a ride home from the airport or waiting so I don’t have to do two trips. A few hours later I get a call from my parents and they were screaming at me and saying I caused all of the problems and drama in the family and that I don’t help out all because I didn’t want to go to the airport twice. My mom said I went behind her back and that she can’t trust me and that I’m a jerk and a bad brother. From my perspective this was an honest miscommunication and I really didn’t think this would happen. I feel like my parents overreacted way too much and that they shouldn’t have said all of the rude stuff. AITA?

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My sister (17F) and I (19F) had been given a gift for both of us, when we were around 9 and 6, to use as we saw fit. My sister showed initial interest in the gift but became bored of it after a while, while I continued to use the gift for many years. Throughout the years I have maintained the gift and kept it at good quality as it fell into my sole possession for caring purposes. Recently my sister had found out that the gift was a collectible item that she could sell for a quick cash grab. I decided against selling it and she let it go for a while.A little while back, the high price of the gift was brought up again and I vehemently denied that we should sell it as I have strong emotional and sentimental attachment to the gift, as I maintained it and gained inspiration from it for art purposes. My sister claims that it isn’t fair that I hold onto it for these reasons and feels that she should be allowed to sell it because she loves money and that she deserves the money, despite us both having equal ownership. I still denied the sale and told her that I stand by what I said and told her that she only shows interest in it when it has a cash value and she couldn’t care less for it. She doesn’t want to sell it due to any financial emergency, but rather due to her wanting money.My sister thinks I’m being selfish for wanting to keep it, but didn’t make any promises to share the cash value from the gift if she sold it.While I could sell this item it would continue to go up in price as the years progress and I would end up buying the gift back at a loss to myself, and while I don’t care for the cash value, buying it again wouldn’t hold the same emotional value as when it was gifted all those years ago.So am I the asshole for not agreeing to sell the shared gift?

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Okay so context, I just had my mandible advancement surgery a few days ago and I’ve been in bed a lot. I can only eat liquid meals and I feel weak a lot, and sensitive to bright lights. I’ve also for some reason been without a shirt after the surgery (I think it might have something to do with the swelling on my face and neck making me uncomfortable).Today my parents told me that some of their friends were coming over to see me, and I just said okay. I didn't see any harm in it. But when the guests came to our house, my mum told me to put on a shirt, then she tidied up my room fully (it was only a little messy, like the comforter not being spread around the bed or the medication just being all over the table), and turned on the room light (my room light is a bright white and she could have instead asked me to turn on my Nanoleaf light panels slightly). This shocked me because she knew I wasn't comfortable with wearing a shirt or having bright lights. I asked her if I could have the light turned off, and she said only once the guests leave my room. She then hurried down stairs, brought the guests up to see me. I said hello to them, but nothing else because it hurts my jaw and throat to talk.They then went to look at the guest room beside my room and my mum turned the light off. But then when they were about to see me again, she turned it on again.When the guests were going back down with my parents, I called my mother because she forgot to turn off the light, and then I told her that I felt like a museum showpiece the way she was treating me. Why was it necessary to make me uncomfortable just so the guests could see my condition with 100% visibility? She responded that she was shocked by my negative mentality and that it is a blessing for people to come see you when you are sick. She said I was over complicating the situation for no reason, and I said I wasn't. She said “how else would they have seen you? They came all the way from home just to see you and you can't manage with the light?” I said that they could see me enough with the corridor light coming in to my room and the dimmed Nanoleaf panels. But she said no and was angry. She left saying again about how shocked she was with my mentality. I was still in bed and almost in tears because how could she act like this when I’m sick and just telling her that this made me uncomfortable?TLDR: Guests came over to see me because I am sick, mother showed me to them like a museum showpiece, I told her that made me uncomfortable and she got mad.

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I am the only child between my parents. My mother has 2 sons from a previous marriage and my dad has 1 son from his previous marriage. The brother that I'm talking about is from my moms first marriage, call him Jack. My dad raised Jack, all of us kids equally, always took care of us. My dads family was the only family who Jack knew, they never treated him differently, never. Everyone was always together, celebrated holidays, birthdays etc...Fast forward twenty years, my parents announce that they are going to get divorced. Which is fine, wasn't a secret. We were all grown up and out of the house at this point anyways.Which Jack decides to announce that as our parents are getting divorced, he's no longer part of the family. He's divorcing everyone too! The whole family who took care of him,he just decided they weren't his family. Just like that, poof. Cut everyone who ever cared about him off, except for our mom. Which the communication between them was poor at best. I had still tried to reach out to him and his family. He ignored me, until one day he asked me to meet him for lunch one day, where he looked me dead in the face and point blank told me that we had NOTHING in common and he would like it if we were strangers on the street.Two years later, my grandmother dies. Everyone tried to get ahold of him for him to at least come and pay respects to the only grandmother he has ever known. Crickets. Another two years goes by and no-one has heard a peep out from him and my uncle falls ill and passes away and this is where things get tricky.Uncle is in hospice, very ill and Jack magically shows up! Coming to visit Uncle, talking to family members, like everything is fine. I didn't know of this until my cousin told me sending me a screen shot of a text he had sent her. Which in return I took his phone number, texted him and told him to leave her alone and how Uncle didn't like him and how he divorced the family, he stepped out, he had no rights. He texted me back, begging to meet and explain. I agreed.I wanted him to say something, anything.I asked him what we were doing there, what he did he have to say? He said nothing,I tried to understand. Instead he let me sit at the bar and fully cuss him out and tell him how hurtful his actions were on the family. Not showing up to grandmothers funeral but visiting uncle in hospice? (Uncle hated him, btw) After YEARS of silence. He said NOTHING. So I sat and told him exactly what everyone thought of him. Not sure what he was expecting, after begging to explain his actions to me and stayed silent the whole time. I told him how much I hated him and how he was the worst.Next morning, I get a long text message from my dad about how upset my mom is with me, how I had the nerve to say what I said to Jack. Jack called my mom the next morning and had told her and complained about what I said.AITA for saying what everyone wanted to say about his actions and never did?

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Is crying really considered manipulation? I actually try really hard to not cry, I just can’t help it, the tears come whether I like it or not (and I never like it). I also usually try to save the big ugly crying for the shower when he can’t hear or see it or I’m very good at silent crying in bed although sometimes he works it out when he hears me sniffing. I’m genuinely not trying to manipulate him and I just can’t help the tears from falling. How do I get him to see I’m just upset? Do other people see crying as just a manipulation tactic?

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I (M21) and I've been dating my (F20) girlfriend for about six years now. She's amazing, hardworking, and incredibly smart. She's currently attending a community college and plans to transfer to a four-year university next year. However, she struggles financially, as her family isn't well off.I come from a more affluent background, and my parents have always been generous with me. I’ve got a great job and a good savings. Seeing her work so hard and stress about her finances, I wanted to help. So, a few weeks ago, I offered to pay for her tuition when she transfers to the university.I thought it was a good idea. I love her and I want to support her dreams. But when I made the offer, she got really upset. She accused me of thinking she was some sort of charity case and said that my offer made her feel inadequate and embarrassed about her financial situation.She told me that she didn't want to feel indebted to anyone and that she wanted to achieve her goals on her own. I tried to explain that I was just trying to help and that I didn't see her as a charity case at all. I just wanted to ease her burden and support her in any way I could.A few days ago, we got into a big fight. She was venting about her college dues, and I snapped and told her that if she wouldn't let me help by paying for it, then she shouldn't keep bringing it up around me. She got really mad and accused me of not being supportive. Since then, she hasn't been talking to me at all. She’s been distantSo, AITA for offering to pay for my girlfriend’s college tuition?

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I (28f) had a girls night out while my bf (26m) was working. He works 2nd shift at a hotel. We share a car right now and I planned on picking him up after his shift and planned girls night out accordingly. We have a lot of stuff in the car, we made plans for middle of the week when we were both off to clean it out (live on 3rd floor apartment with no elevator it's hard for me to move all by myself on short notice in quick time frame, some of it is heavy plus most of it is his crap I'm not his mom and shouldn't have to clean up after him but offered to help 50/50 because I was tired of our car being a storage unit). His coworker rides a bike to work and he found out his apartment complex isn't far from ours, and he volunteered us to give him a ride home without asking me first, but we'd have to fit not only him but his bike as well. So my boyfriend demands I end my hangout early to go home and clean out the car by myself (he can't help bc he's working) so we can give his colleague a ride home and fit his bike in. I told him no, I'm with my friends and I shouldn't have to clean out what's mostly his shit by myself up 3 flights of steps to our 3rd floor apt last minute because he decided to volunteer me for something without asking me first. He has a terrible habit of volunteering us for stuff without consulting me and ive always went along with it because I didn't want to be a jerk but put my foot down this time that he needs to ask me first, he insisted there was "no time, and I should understand so this poor man doesn't have to bike home in the dark" Hes been sullen with me ever since refusing last night, AITA?

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So my(F20) mom and my dad recently got into an argument and they haven’t been talking ever since. My dad for as long as I can remember has been misogynistic. He’d always downplay mom’s feelings and emotions and would go as far as to say really offensive things about her while there were guests over at our house. His biggest fear is mom making important decisions or people thinking that he’s not the head of the family. He also continuously made comments about how women should do all the housework, that mom never worked (have been doing all the chores and taking care of three children on her own and also looking after dad’s relatives).Anyways, their fight went as follows: dad and my BIL (my sister’s husband) were sitting at the table and dad was making some snarky remarks about my sister’s child. Mom got angry and told him “if you’re done eating and don’t like your granddaughter’s company that much, then just leave”. He got furious because he was “humiliated” in front of another man. They haven’t been talking since and he said he’d never forgive her. Drama queen behavior, I know. Today they fought about it again, he told her to fo and repeated all the offensive things. Mom got really upset, started crying and left, she also has a tendency to faint when she’s overwhelmed (it’s a medical condition) which we try to prevent but he didn’t care. So he started saying offensive things about mom to me and I was like “you know you’re in the wrong, right? It’s so stupid to blow this out of proportion and you’re lucky mom stayed with you despite your absolutely insufferable behavior when she could have and should have left like your two previous wives did”. He told me I was the asshole. Reddit, AITA?

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I (17m) have two younger sisters. Ava (15f) is younger and Rhea (14f) is the youngest. Rhea and I are really close and I'd do anything for her, anytime. We can annoy each other and sometimes we fight but she's one of my favorite people. We're the closest in our family by far. I can't stand Ava. Rhea wishes they had a better relationship with Ava can be such a bully to Rhea.Sometimes it's like Ava wanted to be an only child. She's worse toward Rhea which bothers me more than if she was that way with me. But she can also be a total jerk to me. Sometimes it's annoying little kid things. But she's also quick to be more cruel. She can go from hiding my phone somewhere and refusing to tell me where it is (which led to a broken phone once) to ruining my homework because I wouldn't "help" with hers, which is code for doing her homework for her. One time she deleted my entire finished essay because I wouldn't do her math homework for her. Another time she spilled water all over my assignment sheet. When we were younger it was worse because we got a lot of handouts and it was easier. With Rhea she's way worse. She tries to humiliate her by telling kids stuff that Rhea did that others would make fun of her for, like when she used to have accidents when we were little or how one time puked all over Santa. Ava also outed Rhea as a lesbian before Rhea wanted to be out. Ava wasn't even told. She heard Rhea and me talking and decided to spill to people.Our parents discipline Ava and they try to make it up to us. But I know they expect forgiveness when Ava doesn't ask for it and that's where this comes in. Every year for our birthday we get one big gift and three much smaller ones. The big one always takes priority. Ava's birthday is in a couple of weeks and they had to spend a portion of the money set aside for her big gift because we had a big plumbing leak. So they asked me if I would share the cost with them so Ava can still get her big gift. They know I have a job and that I save money. So I get why they'd think to ask me. But for Ava? I said no. My parents told me they know we have our issues but she's still my sister and they said I will make things worse if I don't do this for her, because she knows I would do it for Rhea in a heartbeat. I told them Rhea deserves it, Ava doesn't, and she definitely doesn't deserve it from me. My parents said they'd give me the money back in $50 each week and I said no way again.They told me they were disappointed I would hold such a grudge against my little sister.AITA?

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My (28F) wedding is coming up in two months, and my fiancé (30M) and I have been meticulously planning every detail for over a year. It’s a small, intimate ceremony with close friends and family, totaling around 50 guests.A few weeks ago, my brother (26M) started dating someone new, “Lily” (25F). They’ve been together for about a month, and while she seems nice enough, I barely know her. My brother called me last week and asked if he could bring Lily to the wedding. He said she’s really important to him and he’d like her to be there.I hesitated and told him I’d think about it. The truth is, I’m not comfortable inviting someone I’ve only met twice to such an intimate event. Plus, we’re already at our limit for guests, and adding one more person would mean having to cut someone else or make other logistical changes.When I told my brother my concerns, he got really upset. He accused me of not supporting his relationship and said I was being unreasonable. He even hinted that he might not come to the wedding if Lily isn’t invited, which hurt a lot.My fiancé thinks we should stick to our original plan and not make exceptions, especially since it’s so close to the wedding date. But now I’m second-guessing myself. I don’t want to hurt my brother or cause a rift in our family, but I also want my wedding day to be as we envisioned it.So, AITA for not wanting to invite my brother’s new girlfriend to my wedding?

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So my mom and I have a very butt head relationship and she likes to make me feel bad for a lot of stuff I’ve done or don’t do. Im 28, she’s 47 and my dad is 63. They never liked what I did growing up and I’ve always been very independent and they disliked almost anything I tried to do that didnt involve being around them/talking to them. When I moved states they weren’t happy about it and my dad was mad at me for not sending him my new address right away and after would never responded to any texts I sent.I avoid talking to her and my dad bc either the conversation is negative or there really isn’t much to talk about so there’s no point (to me anyway, and my mom during calls either just bitches about work or someone else or would somehow throw something negative at me.) and I prefer to text anyway because I can at least answer and chat on my own time without interrupting what I’m doing.She texted me today after about a week and a half of not talking/texting, saying she had a dream I was crying and was making sure I’m ok and she sent me some videos of a little squirrel in the backyard where they live (we live in different states now) and I texted her saying I was ok and how I went to see a fireworks show and sent her some pics. She liked them and then told me she is glad I’m ok and that she hopes I have a good day, and that she loves me no matter what and I said the same, I told her I’m sorry for not being as chatty (I work at a call center so I’m on phones all day) and I told her I’m always here, she can just text me whenever.She then suddenly went “forget it. I don’t want to text, I can’t believe you have no time to just call me. I don’t understand why you do this to me and your father. Bye.” I honestly am tired of when she does this and she wonders why I don’t like to talk to her. Even not long after I didn’t respond to her she texted saying “so you’re not going to call me, huh.”AITA?TLDR; mom and dad are mad I don’t call them and I prefer texting, my mom texted me sweetly and then when I told her she could text me anytime she instantly got mad at me.

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Would I be the asshole for reverse shunning my parents on behalf of my sister? My sister is POMO, which is just Jehovah’s Witness slang for someone who is physically in and mentally out of the religion, has started a life with her boyfriend (moved in with him), and was disfellowshipped, JW slang for shunning, earlier this year.Our parents are still pissy about it and make passive aggressive comments whenever they can that I am able to deflect... until today. My parents love going out to eat. It is their absolute favorite thing to do, and we usually go out with them maybe once a week and have dinner at their house once a week. They claim that they can still associate with her if it's in either of their homes, but they can't eat dinner in the same room at home or go out to eat because she's disfellowshipped/shunned.Today, they decided to make every comment under the sun about my sister, and I finally told them that if they are so comfortable shunning their daughter, I will no longer be eating dinner with them at their home or out to eat. Only with my sister and her boyfriend. They tried to justify their cruelty with scripture (that they couldn't even bring to mind), but I stood firm and will continue to. My sister doesn't plan on returning to the religion and I plan on fully being leaving soon, so would I be an asshole for reverse shunning my parents? (Please take the time to look into JW’s. There are so many people that are trapped in this religion and it is so hard to escape without losing everything. For further information please visit JWFacts.com)

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Throwaway account so my business isn’t out there. I was in a long distance relationship with this woman for a couple years. She decided she would like to move in with me to continue the relationship. I gave her the choice, I let her pick, I said do you want pay bills half and half, or do you prefer gender roles where I provide and you do the house stuff?She wants to save all her money and get ahead so she chose a set up where I pay everything. Not just the bills, but even the groceries we both eat, everything. I’m not some forceful zealot about her doing things around the house, we’re talking like 30 mins a day of stuff. Neither of us have kids, she has 7+ hours a day of free time. She makes $25 / hour and we live in a cheap state. She’s just pocketing all of her money so that she can get ahead and pay off debt etc. She constantly gives me pushback and acts like a prick if I ask her to do something that takes 5 minutes. Like “I did it last time you do it” etc. When I try to kindly bring up that she chose this arrangement and we can simply switch to 50/50 on the bills then I’ll do all the house stuff, she gets upset and wants to end the conversation.

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So my 28f, daughter’s 6th birthday party was Friday, my daughter wore a, green flower dress with a train for her birthday and me and my son 9m wore matching colors with her, me and my kids father aren’t together and haven’t been since our daughter was 1 yr old. We don’t have the best relationship but we try to be cordial the best we can. He sees them sometimes and they do know him as their father, but he’s not very active in their life like he should be. I didn’t tell him about the color choice for our outfits or that were were wearing matching outfits for the party, so when the party came and he got there and saw our outfits he was pissed and almost started a scene until my mom and brothers calmed him down, the entire party he was just standing around awkwardly and angry barely interacting with anyone. He says that I embarrassed him and made him look like a bad father for not telling him about our matching outfits, he has called me a lot of rude names and even made a few subliminal post on social media about the situation. My mom, sister and my friends say that I didn’t have to inform him of the outfits because it’s not like we’re together or that we even get along and if we wore matching outfits with him people might get the wrong idea about our relationship, my brothers say that I was wrong and as the birthday girls dad I should have let him know so he can match too. So i’m not sure if I was wrong or not.

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My dad divorced my mom when I (16F) was 10. I currently live with my mom and younger brother. He got married to his now wife fairly quick after the divorce. Ever since their marriage I have refused contact with his wife when unnecessary. I've told my dad multiple times that I am uncomfortable with his family(that also consists of two children). He has always refused to back down and told me that he wants me to consider them as family too. I believe that my boundary isn't one thats difficult to abide by. I meet my dad twice a month despite living 10 minutes away from one another. Whenever he comes by all he does is show me pictures of his children or talk about them. Other than that hes always on his phone. I wish i could have him for myself for the 4 hours we have together. Today, He came to my place and told me to come out and have dinner with him. Tbh i was looking forward to it as I havent seen him for a while. However, I heard the cries of a child and soon realized that he'd come with his family. I refused and told my mom to send him back. Honestly, I'm sick of how he can't seem to understand my situation despite me bringing it up multiple times. He simply shuts me down by saying that if i agreed itd make it easier for him. He knows it makes me uncomfortable and still does everything his own way.UPDATE: The reason for the divorce was because my dad wanted to marry someone else. His whole family came over to our place to tell my mom that he'd get married to someone no matter what. (As polygamy is allowed in my country. The current wife just has to approve). My mom refused to let him marry someone else and thus they divorced. He doesn't know I'm aware of all this and if brought up, will most definitely say its false.

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My Dad takes my family (34f) and my brothers (36m) on vacation every year. He takes care of the hotel for 7 days and then we’re on our own. My brother is a known moocher, so I told him we’d be buying our own food but he convinced me to go in-together on dinners. He then said it was too expensive after I paid ($30 for his portion for 7 days worth of dinners). He still ate the dinners and my husband and I cooked all of them. We constantly had to tell his son (14m) that he couldn’t eat our food, or that we didn’t know where his dad was because he would just leave. My brother would then make curry with a LOT of season salt that would stink up the hotel and then leave his dishes for us to wash. My husband and I ended up cleaning the kitchen and doing dishes constantly. My dad didn’t do anything about this. He’d just shrug his shoulders and hide out in his room because he hates confrontation. On day 3, we had enough of the constant time together. And we went off on our own with our 2 sons. We had a great time and were gone for several hours. When we got back my brother was obviously mad. He even grabbed one of my fruit and ate it in front of us. I said nothing but immediately stopped cleaning after him. We cleaned only our dishes. We still swept and wiped down counters because we hate messes.My dad then took my brother and his son out without us. To a fast food restaurant he knew we wanted to go to. When I asked him what was up my dad said I was being cold to my brother and nephew. So am I the asshole for going out with my family on a 7 day vacation and not playing the maid?

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I decided to follow your advice. A few days after I first posted here, I removed the picture. My post on Instagram now looks exactly the same as it did before my father made me include his girlfriend.I did so because she was still asking me to switch the pictures. She had begged, sent me an alternate version in which she "only edited herself" (lie, everyone's teeth were still whitened) and tried to guilt trip me about it. I consider myself to be a very patient woman, but I do have limits.That's when I removed the picture. I think she was checking my post, because she texted me about an hour later asking why I'd changed it. I reminded her I'd promised to remove the picture if she didn't accept the unedited one.My father later tried to convince me to repost it, but I told him I'm not doing that again. When he protested, I told him to stop and think about the fact that he was complaining about a social media post on a private account. I think he did, because he apologized for the drama and stopped bringing it up.I did get a few more texts from his girlfriend asking me to reconsider, to which I replied that since she doesn't want any real depictions of her online, I will never include her on my social media again. I think she's still upset, but she's no longer bothering me about it.Also, I took the opportunity to remind all parties that only me and my husband are allowed to post pictures of our child online. Just in case.Thank you for all your advice.

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A few days ago, I realized recently that I didn't get a package I was expecting. I checked the tracking information and saw that it had been delivered a week ago, to the person with my apartment number in the other building in my apartment complex. So I went over to the other building at around 6pm, ensured I was at the right place using the photo taken by the delivery person, and knocked on the door. No answer. That's fine, I figured, they must be out, so I decided to come back the next day. The next day, there's still no answer. Then on the third day, I can hear the television inside the apartment. Aha! So I knock on the door and... nothing. No response. I wait a few minutes, then knock on the door again. I figure maybe they were in the middle of something, or not appropriately dressed to answer the door. Still no answer. I wait a few minutes and knock again. This goes on for maybe 10 minutes or so. Admittedly, at this point I was already peeved from being completely ignored, and also having had to spend several days on this. So about the fourth or fifth time knocking on the door, I suddenly hear a woman screaming at me from inside, "IF YOU TOUCH MY FUCKING DOOR AGAIN, I'M CALLING 911."I try to explain that I had a package delivered to her apartment, to which she screamed, "I NEVER GOT YOUR FUCKING PACKAGE! NOW LEAVE, OR I'M CALLING THE POLICE!!" I told her I had a photo of the package delivered to her door. She paused, then went back to screaming that I was scaring her, and that she was calling the police. I told her fine, go ahead, tell them a neighbor is knocking on her door looking for a package and see what 911 has to say about that. I left and went to the office and explained the situation.The office emailed her, along with my photo of the package, at which point she said she did get the package, but had her boyfriend place it in the mailroom right outside their elevator. (This is not where packages go, as it's unsecured: there's a package room maybe 50 feet away he could have delivered it to instead, or dropped it off with the office about 75 feet away.) Unsurprisingly, my package was gone by this point, having either been stolen or discarded.So my question is: am I the asshole for knocking and expecting an answer? I wouldn't necessarily expect her to open the door, but to at least say hello and ask me why I was knocking? I thought about leaving a note, but I have some wrist pain that makes writing difficult, and I don't own a printer. I try to be respectful of the fact that women can feel threatened by men. If I'm walking late at night, I'll make a point of not following behind a woman, of veering around a woman walking the other way to give her as much space as possible, etc. I do see how a man knocking on her door could be intimidating, even though I'm not intimidating as men go. Should I have given up after the first or second knock? Did I do something wrong by expecting a reply when I can hear someone watching TV?

Is the author male?

AITA for not supporting my mom? Over a year ago now my parents and I (22m) were in the car on the way to drop me off at college. It’s around a 12 hour drive, so we usually settle in and do our own thing. My father doesn’t like when anyone else drives, so my mom usually sleeps and I stay awake trying to chat with him so he can stay focused and not drift off. I was sitting behind him and glanced over his shoulder. He was on his phone so I wanted to see what he was looking at so I could start a conversation about it. However, when I looked I saw him texting an unsaved number on an app that wasn’t his messaging app. I looked away quickly but couldn’t help to see a few gross messages.Once we got to the hotel we were staying at, mom went in and got us checked in while my dad and I parked. I confronted him about it. He got very defensive and said that it was “nothing” and “don’t tell your mother. She’ll just freak out over nothing.” I knew their marriage was kind of rocky so I let it go. Against my better judgement, I kept my mouth shut. 6 months or so later I came home for spring break. I arrived home at midnight so I was quite tired. My parents greeted me at the door, and even though it was dark, I could tell my mom had been crying. I asked her about it and she said she was fine, hugged me, and went to bed. I followed suit shortly after. The next morning my mother was out and my father woke me up. He sat down and told me everything. He said he had had been inappropriately texting a woman he used to know. He admitted everything to me, which I appreciated. I also told him that he was a piece of shit, which he agreed with. However, he followed it up by telling me that he was afraid of my mother, and that she was scaring my younger brother (16). He said that she has been clearly experiencing episodes, but refused to get help.I brushed it aside as something that he was just saying, until I noticed the little things. Scratch marks on my dad’s office door that turned out to be from a screw driver my mom used to break in. Holes in a monitor that my younger brother used to use. The long 45 minute showers that she took despite always being upset when we shower for too long. I decided to try and help her, as I knew that she must be going through some hard times. What I experienced next was nothing short of horrific. I can’t go into too much detail, but the things that were said and done around me still keep me up at night. I’ve since graduated from college and moved back home for the time being. Once I got home, my father filed for divorce. I wanted to stay out of it, as I don’t want to be involved with the mess that this has become. However, it’s gotten bad enough that everyone knows in my hometown. Worst of all, my mother has been spreading rumors about me instantly taking my father’s side. So, I decided to retreat and now I stay in my room or at my friend’s until I have to work. My mom and her family think I’m betraying her by not supporting her. AITA?

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A little background… so my dad has a long history of dating not the best women. He’s had tons of girlfriends over the years, some better than others. This recent one has been dating him for about 3 years, and being that I’m out of the house (and never lived with my dad passed elementary school) and live far away, I don’t see him or his current gf much. I don’t know her super well, and she doesn’t really show much interest in me or my siblings when we’re over. Often she’ll be napping, or watching TV when we’re over. She canceled on coming to my baby shower the night beforehand, and never reached out during my pregnancy. She drinks a lot and tends to get rowdy at parties, often is tearful, loud, etc. I have a baby who is about 6 months old. We were over there celebrating the Fourth of July and my dad’s GF kept grabbing my babies cheeks, kissing her feet and hands, handing her food that I had taken away from her, etc. I was getting uncomfortable and kept redirecting, but she didn’t get the hint. I texted my dad saying it was making me uncomfortable, and I didn’t want to embarrass her my saying something directly in the moment when others were around, and thought since I don’t know her well, it might sounds better coming from him. I did this because we’re all supposed to go on vacation together soon, and I wanted to address it before we’re with them stuck in a rental. He has since not answered me/acknowledged the message, but is texting my siblings back. AITA?

Is the author male?

My husband and I are vacationing with my immediate family - parents and siblings. We go to a lake house every year around this time (the week before the Fourth of July). This is the first year we have a baby — our child is eight months. I am the only sibling married and with children. My son is typically a fantastic sleeper. We arrived on June 23. I told my family “how long we stay depends on how [son] does.” My once fantastic sleeper? Was hell on wheels. The Tasmanian devil. I’m certain he was scared and confused. He got no sleep. We tried everything. He’d cry as soon as we laid him down. He’d semi sleep in my arms. Finally, my husband and I agreed to take shifts. Three hours at a time. Holding him while the other quasi-slept. I figured night two would go better. It was worse. On the morning of the 25th, my husband and I couldn’t do it anymore. We were exhausted. We were miserable. My family helped during the day but being up all night took a toll. We left after two nights and went home. My mom is still upset I left. She said I didn’t give it long enough. That she’s certain night three would’ve been the charm. Are we AHs for leaving?

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I (F22) live on the same street as my sister (F32). She has two kids, Sam (M12) and Tom (M9) (not their real names).She's a single mom and often drops Sam and Tom off at my place so that I can keep on eye on them while she runs errands or goes to work. Sometimes she will do this with no notice. I also work but I am self-employed in a position where I can take the kids to work with me.I don't mind too much because I like seeing them and my nephews are at an age where they don't require tons of supervision.If Sam and Tom have been dropped off with me with no notice and I have plans, I will just take them with me wherever I'm going. Last weekend, my sister left the kids with me with no notice and said she picked up a shift at the last minute.On that day I had plans to go to a fundraiser at the Church so I took my nephews with me to that. I should mention that although I'm Christian, my sister is not and we have pretty different values.At the event, Sam and Tom were playing with some other kids. Sam and an 8 year old boy had a disagreement over the rules of a game they were playing, and Sam started cussing (a lot) and loudly called the boy names.I was pretty embarrassed and took Sam to one side and I told him off. I said that he shouldn't use that kind of language at a Church setting and especially towards a kid younger than him. He said sorry to the boy and I apologized to his parents. I was pretty stern with Sam but I got the point across and he seemed to listen.Later in private I told my sister what happened and she was pretty mad to say the least. She explained that Sam has been going through a phase of copying the language he hears in video games. She said that I'm pushing my values onto her kids and I don't get to scold Sam for how he speaks and its up to her as a parent if it's acceptable or not.I told my sister I think she's being unreasonable and she just said she doesn't care, I'm not the parent. AITA for this?

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I’m a big birthday person. I always organise and do something for my loved ones’ birthday. As for now, I’m not earning any money (still broke student lmao) but I do use my monthly allowance for my mom’s and boyfriend’s birthday. But, I never do anything for my father. When the Covid happened, my dad got stuck in the country he was working and living. We didn’t meet for almost 2 years. When he was coming back, I bought a new year cheesecake and few t-shirts (it’s cheap but still good quality, i’ve been using the same t-shirts as home wear for 2 years) to surprise him for his arrival for our home visit. Of course, he got surprised. But, something he said hurt me. He said it’s not his favourite cake. He said he owns and buys much more expensive t-shirts than these and he wouldn’t wear these. Even though he said he didn’t like cheesecake, he is the one who ate the most of it. I don’t know, he said it in a funny tone but I feel like disregarded my efforts completely. For his 49th birthday, he still complained about the cake and gifts too. During taking photos and singing happy birthday, he looks so unhappy and dissatisfied with whatever I do. The following year, he kept saying no need to celebrate his 50th birthday as everyone will know that he’s 50. I always had plans for my parent’s 50th birthday. He was quite harsh and rude about not wanting to celebrate his 50th birthday and so I obeyed. For this 50th birthday, I wished him but I didn’t make any efforts for his birthday. No cake, no gifts. And then, he still complained. For my birthday, he bought a cake and before i cut the cake, he was like “even though you didn’t do anything for my 50th birthday, i still do something for you”. He felt like 50th birthday is a huge deal and I didn’t care about it. I did tell him that HE SAID HE DONT WANT TO CELEBRATE. He was gaslighting me saying he said no such thing. He’s been saying this to his side of the family. Like, I don’t care about his birthday and he had a such sad birthday because his kids didn’t care about him. Like he’s a such lonely person because we didn’t do anything. Everyone from his side of the family is looking at me like I don’t care about my father. He didn’t say to them that he didn’t want a birthday party. I feel embarrassed and humiliated because he’s damaging my image. Am I the asshole for not celebrating my father’s birthday? EDIT: I feel I’m the asshole because I didn’t care about his birthday. I thought that is what he wanted. I feel I should’ve did something because my father’s mother constantly saying that I ignored him.

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Me (20M) and my boyfriend (20M) got a message Fourth of July from my future mother in law asking for us to hang out with her on the fourth. I had decided against it seeing as we spent the whole weekend prior with her. Also my Boyf’s dad was throwing a small party that we had helped set up at the time. (Boyfs mom and dad aren’t together and live in seperate places). Very late at night we got a call from boyfs mom that she got a DUI and due to that and a few other related reasons boyfs mom and her boyf broke up, and now she has a week to move out of their house. She had just quit her job this week before this and her boyf knew that. She has no where to live now. I feel guilty and like I am the a-hole because the only reason she was drinking and hanging out at her ex’s cousins house was because we weren’t there to hang out with her. If I hadn’t made the call not to go then she would still have her house and her relationship. Future mother in law has been saying that if we went with her that night none of this would’ve happened. AITA?

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Hi, 24F. To preface this I will say that I am neurodivergent. I am diagnosed ADHD with autism. I have a really difficult time communicating my needs, sometimes.My family (non-immediate, they are my grandparents and aunt and uncles) is what would be considered people who don't take mental health very seriously. The kind of people where they believe they can "pray away" mental illnesses which almost always results in someone in the family mentally collapsing. I am a firm believer in mental health, so I take medications and attend therapy. My family has always known this and they treat me like I am an outlier.Because of the fact that I am autistic, I also have a hard time reading social cues. For instance, someone could be joking with me and I take it \*literally\*. I have weird facial expressions sometimes while being poorly coordinated. Sometimes, I have no idea I am being rude because of my autism.Well, I went over my family's house the other day and they endlessly talked about how I was "weird" and poking at me. They talked about how my mom was the "baby" in the family and how she raised me to be "weird". They also are the reason why she has a complex, but I digress. I got really tired of it to the point where I said, "if you're that bothered by me being here I can just leave". And then walked out. I frankly do not want to talk to them again, maybe with the exception of my grandparents because they weren't in the room when this was happening. AITA?

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My (18F) roommate has been dating her boyfriend for a couple of months. He sleeps over at our flat at least three times a week, uses our shower (for about 45 minutes every time as well) and eats our food and turns up our central heating and just acts as if he lives here. Our water and electricity has gone up since she started dating him. We pay our household bills 50/50 as we use about the same amount of everything but I don’t want to pay for what he is using because I need to save as much money as possible (I’m at the end of my second year of college, and I’m basically living off pot noodles). I asked my roommate to pay for the added cost and she said no because it’s not her who is making it higher and it’s better if we just each pay half of the added cost. So I asked her to get her boyfriend to pay for it and she said no because he doesn’t even live here. I said I didn’t care because he’s still causing our bills to go up so either she pays for it or he does. She said it wasn’t that big of a deal and she doesn’t understand why I care so much when more extra costs and I might have to start skipping meals. She doesn’t really understand why I have such a strict budget - her parents support her financially but mine said, “You can starve to death.” after I moved out at 16 because they were completely hateful.

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My (21 F) roommate (22 F) is an absolute nightmare. Almost every “bad roommate” thing possible describes her. She’s loud at all times, filthy, doesn’t pay rent properly, has caused damage to the property, and constantly has either her mom or boyfriend over.Over the eight months of living together, I have attempted to talk to her many times about all of this, and suggest ways to resolve the conflicts. She claimed it was harassment, and then decided that I’m only allowed to contact her via email, or she will go to police.A few weeks ago, without informing me, she decided to adjust how much she would like to pay for the rent, against how we had been paying the last eight months. I only found out about this after receiving an angry text from our landlord saying we were short. I immediately paid what my roommate hadn’t. Her boyfriend stays with us 3-5 nights a week. He showers, does washing, and is often here when she isn’t. He is filthy, and leaves messes in the bathroom and is constantly playing loud trap music at any hour. I’m fairly certain he is unemployed as he is constantly here during the day, even on weekdays, as I go home for my lunch hour and always just find him here by himself.The utility bill is completely in her name, and my name is not associated with it at all. This last couple of months it has been insanely high, almost twice as what it is usually, likely because of how often her boyfriend is here. The last month I tried to talk to her about it and she ignored me and simply told me to pay my half, which I did. This month however, when the bill was even higher than last, and when she hadn’t paid her rent properly and her boyfriend had been here more than half of the days and nights of the month, I decided not to. I sent her an email explaining that I wasn’t paying the full half this month, and explained why, and then sent a fair amount. She claimed that I legally needed to transfer her the entire half, which I replied that I did not as the bill was in her name, and I had given her the valid reasons as to why she wasn’t receiving half. She told me she was going to take me to the disputes court. I told her that it would not be a good idea for her to do that, as she was breaking multiple clauses in her tenancy agreement that I have plenty of evidence of. I told her we should discuss how we operate things and write up a roommate agreement in which she responded “no I’m not doing anything wrong, you legally need to pay me” and claims she’s going to lawyers. AITA for not paying it?

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For context, I never had a close relationship with my father growing up. He struggled with gambling and alcohol issues. One Christmas, when I was young and had severe measles, my father didn’t take me to the doctor because he spent all the money on drinking. If my aunt hadn’t taken me to the hospital, I might not have survived, as the doctor said my condition was critical. The money he spent was my mother’s hard-earned money, intended for household bills, as she was working overseas.My mother was the breadwinner, paying for almost everything, while my father only contributed to food. Additionally, my father’s side of the family frequently asked my mother for money and got upset when she sent money to her own siblings. I recall when my mother’s younger sister died, and she asked my father to use the money saved for building our house for the funeral, but he refused and my mom couldn’t do anything since shes in abroad working.He never attended any of my school events, such as graduations or activities, preferring to send any random relative in his place because he didn’t want to go. Months after my aunt’s funeral, my mother finally decided to separate from him since they weren’t legally married.Initially, he would visit me and give me money, but that didn’t last long. Soon, he vanished from my life entirely. For twelve years, he neither visited nor paid child support, nor did he attempt to build a relationship with me. He knew where I lived but never made an effort. His absence and neglect have caused me significant trauma and mental health problems. Now, as I am in my first year of college, he contacted me through Facebook. Feeling hurt and neglected, I blocked him immediately.To make matters more complicated, my family always says that he is still my father no matter what and I should just forgive him.So, AITA for refusing to let my father back into my life after all these years?

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My ex-friend, let's call her Irvine, started dating her ex-boyfriend, Rafael, over a year ago. Their relationship escalated quickly, and Rafael broke up with her last June.Irvine often texted me about her distress and how badly Rafael treated her, from ghosting her for days to not respecting her time. Every time, I told her to leave him, but she downplayed the issues and blamed herself. It even got to the point where she got pregnant, and I had to accompany her to her abortion because her boyfriend wouldn't.Last July, after their breakup, she slept with him twice, hoping he'd take her back. He blocked her when she asked him to split the abortion bill. I tried to support her through messages, but I had my own problems to deal with and couldn't see her in person.Irvine started throwing tantrums, demanding that me and another friend go on a trip for her birthday that neither of us could afford and threw another tantrum about us forgetting her birthday. She disappeared for a week and then told us to cut her off. I wanted to put myself first, so I listened and did it.A week later, she came back into my DMs accusing me of not caring about her mental health and not reaching out. She said she had no social support since we "discarded" her. She revealed that her ex-boyfriend had taken advantage of her twice while she was drunk and told me not to reach out again. A couple of weeks later, she attacked me in my DMs for not responding after she asked me not to. She asked why I never reached out when she deleted her accounts, and I told her she made her own choice and I wasn't going to beg. I asked her to keep me out of this because I don't like drama. I had already talked to my therapist about her situation, and when she told us to cut her off, I didn't have the energy to beg her. She cherry-picked my words and said I called her abuse drama, which I didn't, but how am I supposed to help with that? I told her to get therapy, and she said her therapist asked if she had a support system, and she didn't have an answer. I hope she gets help, but my therapist advised me not to do anything.I did reach out but was told not to, and I can't do anything about her lack of support. I understand her struggle, but her emotional stability is not my responsibility; I have my own problems to deal with. I have the right to decide if I want to deal with it or not, and I don't want to; I have my own problems.A year later, Irvine contacted Yandy to explain the abuse and why she told us to cut her off. She also told Yandy to tell me she wants to talk to me, but I already expressed I'm not comfortable with that. She said she doesn't care if it makes me uncomfortable because she wants "closure" and that I "left her friendless and retraumatized." It feels like I'm still being forced to take on her problems. I've already relayed that I'm not interested, and she keeps demanding closure. AITA for asking her to leave me alone?

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Background- I (20f) bought a vip ticket in May for a concert in the end of July that was close to $500. I had worked very hard that month to be able to pay for it but I did not consult my parents before making this decision. My parents, dad Is 40 and mom is 42, are conservative and Christian’s. This is on the back of me being upset for not being allowed to go to a concert with some friends the day that we hit a deer and them not liking that I would not shut up about being upset and letting Them know I was not happy with dealing with consequences for something that did not harm us. as well as a just settled argument between my parents.Story - I was planning on telling them in July on my birthday so that they would likely let me go, but unfortunately they checked my bank statements and saw the payment before I could tell them myself.These disagreements have caused a lot of tension and we are getting more on edge the closer the concert gets. My sister (f22) and brother (m14) have said that they understand that I will not cancel the ticket but that I went about the wrong way and should have told my parents before I bought it, especially knowing how they are.My parents since the finding of the ticket have been on my back about cancelling it and say that I am humiliating, disrespecting, and undermining their authority as parents for saying that I will not cancel the ticket. They have lectured me multiple times on this and seem to not like that I also give them my opinions on the matter when I should just obey what they say as they are my parents and should just be obedient as the bible says to honor your father and mother.These last couple of weeks have been hard as now that my parents are sort of excluding me, my siblings have had to step in in filling in what I would usually do around The house and with helping my parents with their various chores or business they need to take care of. My siblings are quieter than they have been and my parents are more upset than usual with us which has us walking on eggshells.From my parents viewpoint they have said that as my parents they deserve to know any decisions I make and that me not consulting them was not right. They are upset that I did not communicate with them and that I am not obeying their world when as Christian’s we should not be associating with these ‘worldly’ activities. They have let me know that I am hurting their feelings by not understanding that me going is putting me in danger and causing me to sin, that they are only looking out for me and don’t want me to go down a path that could damage my well-being.

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Our friend started this chat room on social media years ago as a way for all of our childhood friends to keep in touch with each other since we only saw each other not that often and mainly on special occasions. It’s was about 15 of us in there. The same friend who started this chat room years ago passed away last year but we kept the chat room open and even named it after him. Let’s call him Blue to avoid confusion. About a few weeks ago I heard that one of our friends “Jake” was secretly messaging the girls that some of the other friends were dating or having sex with that they mentioned in the chat. A day later my friend “Tim” threw Jake out the chat and me and a few other people. I asked why was I getting removed and TIm said “because he only wants to discuss his business with friends that see more often and not friends he barely see”. I said “but Blue made this chat to keep everyone connected, it’s no way he would’ve done this if he was still alive”. He responded “we are still friends when we see each other and it’s no love lost or anything”. I wind up cursing him out about it. I later apologized but was still low key pissed he kicked me out especially being I ain’t do nothing, I never told his business and got kicked out cause of what someone else did. My friend Blue would never wanted this to happen if he was here. My friend “Tommy” tried to get me back in chat but only to instigate a fight between me and Tim. I know this because Tim showed me screenshots of Tommy laughing and instigating showing me that Tommy only wanted me back in chat to cause a fight between me and Tim because he knew I was upset about getting thrown out the room

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I have a well stocked garage with a variety of tools that i have collected, got gifted or bought over the past 10 years for my DIY projects. My neighbour is also my good friend, he has borrowed tools from me multiple times before but he used to ask and ofcourse i didn't mind sharing my tools but i started noticing he takes tools without asking like it's a habbit to him. A few days ago I needed my power drill for a project I was doing at home. I sent a text to my neighbour to ask if he took it and he confirmed he did take it a few days ago wothout telling me. This wasn't the first time it happend and it delayed my project for another two days. When he returned it i told him nicely to at least send me a text asking if he could borrow something or go ask me directly. He got defensive and started a tantrum saying it isn't a big deal because we are friends and he always returns them in good condition (which is true). I told him again to still ask me because i might need something at the same time. He started ignoring me lately AITA for telling him to ask me before he takes MY tools?

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So i have to give a little context. I had this friend, Lets call her daisy(15f). Daisy is a year older then me(14f) and we were pretty close. She always said how bad my handwriting was and how slow i was on my bike. I always put that on the back of my mind, thinking nothing of it. Then one day i just stopped saying sorry for those things. A few weeks later she was really mad at me. When i asked what was up she just ignored me. When i asked her a second time, she said i was selfish for saying “that just how i ride my bike” and stuff like that. At first i tried to make things right between us, but after a week of doing it i just stopped. Every night i cried in my bed bc she was so mad at me. My family saw that i was not feeling good about something and asked me about it. I just said i was fine, that was a lie bc i was not feeling fine. She was mad at me for a whole MONTH. Now she is asked me to give her homework from when she wasn’t there and i said no. She got mad at me again and said i was selfish for not giving her the homework but i said she could just ask someone else. Now aita for saying no to my ex-friend when she asked for homework?(This is my first time posting so sorry if it is hard to follow)

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I have been with my partner for 2 years now. We moved in about 6 months ago to a 2bedroom apartment. It’s been good, aside from one thing. THE MESS. Oh god the mess. Dishes. Clutter. Tobacco everywhere from him rolling cigarettes. THE LAUNDRY (don’t even get me started on the laundry). the literal skid marks in the toilet. i can’t deal with it. I clean all my own mess. I have repeatedly had to sit him down (like he’s my child, and I don’t want kids!!) and tell him he has to pull his weight with the cleaning because A) he’s an adult and he should, and B) even when I try to clean the house, Its hard to clean faster than he makes mess because he lets it build up. I’m not his mum, I’m not his maid. It’s having to wait for him to clean something that really gets to me. If I could just do it myself instead of hearing ‘i’ll do it today i promise’, it’d be a lot better. He has acknowledged that it is disrespectful toward me. He has promised he will do better. But .. aside from the occasional 3-4 days where he picks up the slack, it’s all just been words and empty promises. It’s driving me nuts. I’m willing to try one last thing before I tell him i want to find a place of my own because I can’t live in some student man cave crackden: he pays the majority of the bills in exchange for cleaning being my job in our house. I propose that I pay my share of the rent and nothing else, he pays for everything else in exchange for my unpaid labour. Hopefully soon to be paid labour. If he’s just incapable of being tidy, I may as well just make it my job and get something out of it. At the moment, we pay 50/50 with everything, and we both work. He earns more than me, and money is a struggle for me, so that takes the stress off me a bit financially. And instead of waiting for his ass to just get up and clean, I have peace of mind knowing it’s done. Who knows, maybe I’ll even make a powerpoint about it, my slogan could be ‘not a maid (unless I get paid)’. So reddit, WIBTA for suggesting my partner pays a bigger portion of household bills to make up for me having to clean up after him? I worry I might be because I know some people don’t necessarily value unpaid labour in the household.

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Sorry in advance, joined reddit just to ask this question so the style might not be right.So, AITA for not wanting my brothers(23), GF(19) of over two years coming over for my (female, 26) birthday.So background;First I do get on well with his gf, she is a lovely girl and went thought a lot of rough times last year so I have respect for my brother being there for her and happy for him if he's happy. But any birthday we've had we always have a few drinks and family night. It's been tradition for as long as I can remember. We all have 1 or 2 drinks, some food, have a good time, but his gf gets over the top, throwing up, drunk every single time and it gets annoying, birthdays, xmas, new years, every single time she will take it too far and she likes to throw it in my face that she smarter than me. Which is fine, cool I have my degree, I've never really cared about that thing but my bf (age 29) has been taking a year off school due to having to resit exams.My birthday this year is different, I'm finally introducing my family to the BF of 3 years. I live out of town so I'm not home all that often to get them to meet, and truthfully I'm nervous, my bf knows me a lot better than my parents, I moved away for a reason, my relationship with my parents is a lot better now I have. But the idea of my two separate life's merging is scary and nerve wracking, I want it to go well.I already get really anxious and nervous with a lot of thing with my parents, so I really just wanted it to be us 5 and my BF. I really don't want the added pressure of her being there as well. But I think my issue is with my brother not asking if it was okay if she come to dinner with us. I only know because my younger sister (age 15) told me, neither of parents have asked either.I'm more upset every adult in this situation knew she was coming without having asked and no one bothered to tell me until my sister.I don't know if it is childish, like its one extra person grow up, but then this is such a big moment for me I really wanted it to be family only, that is what we had talked about that was the original, but now my brother has changed that plan and not even told me, it just brings back a lot of memories of the disrespect from my childhood.So would I be the A hole if I message my brother telling him, I'm uncomfortable with her being there when my parents meet my BF?

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Okay so for a bit of context, I 16f usually help my mom with pet sitting. She does it as an extra job, and sometimes takes on more than one at a time. Everyone she pet sits for is aware that I might fill in for her, and they are completely fine with that. If they aren't. She is the only person who goes over. There is a man that she pet sits for who lives only about a 2-minute walk from our house, and he is totally fine with me, my brother 18m, and my brothers boyfriend 18m, pet sitting for him.The last two times I was over there it was me and my brother's partner who we will call Michael. Sometimes depending on our schedules, I will go over with Michael and be there for about 2 hours, and then he will have to leave for something, but I will still be there. That has never been a problem. Today, Michael and I went over there at about 11:15 a.m., and I had to leave for a family barbecue at 1:00 p.m.. he and I were watching a movie when my dad got there to pick me up, so I left. My brother who we will call Damien came over only a few minutes after I left. So the dogs were never alone, Michael was there the entire time. The man who we will call Steven was supposed to be home around 3:30. He suddenly barged in at 2:30, and began yelling at both my brother and his boyfriend. Saying that he was tired of the revolving door of all of us, sometimes being there sometimes not. My brother and Michael tried to explain that the dogs were never alone, Michael had been there the entire time, and just because I left didn't mean anything. Steven then said that next time he wants it to just be me there. Just me the whole time. No one else. That made me really uncomfortable when Michael told me that. Bc I'm a 16-year-old, and he's definitely anywhere from late '40s early '50s. Both me and my mother have a little bit of an inkling that Steven was more so mad because Michael is a trans man. Steven has never said anything bad, but he does have conservative newspapers around his house and stuff like that. Also, when he came in and began yelling at Michael and Damien, he brought up the fact that he had never met Michael before. They had met more than five times at this point.. And even had a 10-minute conversation before so I don't know what he was on. He was mostly just pissed that I wasn't there anymore, and that Michael apparently had never introduced himself, even though I was with him when he did the first time they ever met.I'm wondering if maybe I was the asshole for leaving when he didn't know I was going to, but I can't see how that's a possibility when the dogs were never alone, and he has established that he is okay with my brother and his partner watching his dogs.

Is the author male?

I (26F) recently split from my ex husband. Our relationship wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t a love marriage. I was disowned at 18 for drug use and ended up pregnant by a much older man. He insisted I marry him and I did so I wasn’t homeless. Not the best foundation for a marriage.I spent the next 7ish years having three kids, and being a mother to his two daughters from his first marriage. I had no time for myself.Now that we’re split up, I leave my kids with my mother sometimes so I can do things for myself. My mother insisted that I picked up a hobby so I’ve been learning to swim and I’ve been taking classes at a community college. I also take a ‘personal’ day sometimes just to get my hair done or read a book. I was hesitant to be away from my kids so often at first but my mother says I need it and I’ve been feeling better about myself. A massive issue that arose when I left my husband was how often his mother would be able to see our kids. She used to come over to the home I shared with my ex almost daily to see our kids but now I live with my mother. I told her that I would always try my best to make sure she sees them often but I haven’t been if i’m being honest, which is why I’m the asshole. I’ve been so caught up in my nee hobbies and studies that I’ve been leaving my kids with my mom all the time instead of calling her up to see if she can watch them.She saw me out three days ago and asked where the kids were. I told her they were with my mother and we got into a massive argument because she hasn’t seen them in the past six weeks. She called me a massive asshole for going back on my promise.I feel terrible but Im also just kind of confused. My mother barely saw my kids until recently but she saw them everyday. I know it’s not an excuse since I made a promise but I’m at a loss. She is extremely upset with me and my ex called me and basically yelled at me for lying to his mother. AITA?

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I’m (F28) in the middle of a legal process right now and retained a lawyer. It’s not anything criminal but just a procedural thing. There’s this girl (F18? I think) I currently work with that’s in the same situation but she didn’t retain a lawyer. She said lawyers were too expensive and if she could just do it herself, why bother paying for a lawyer. I got a lawyer cause I have absolutely zero expertise in it and while I know google is a free option, this isn’t something I’m willing to FAFO with. We used to work for the same company but we worked in different locations. I was surprised when she started at my current company and I was happy to see a familiar face, especially since I was new too. She knows we’re going through the same situation and would sometimes ask me progress on my thing and share progress on hers. It was nice to be able to talk to someone in the same situation. Recently, I’ve noticed that she would check in on me and then ask me specific questions that should really be answered by their lawyer. She’s also hinting that I could ask my lawyer if I wasn’t sure of the question. I’ve been acting stupid the past few questions (ex. Saying i don’t know, i’m not sure, my lawyer’s handling it.) and just not engaging in the topic when she brings it up. Would I be the asshole if the next time she asks, I just tell her to get a lawyer herself instead of trying to mooch off mine?

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I am the youngest of three (30F). I have an older brother and sister and my older brother is an emotional ticking time bomb. He comes to family events and sucks all of the air out of the room. He likes to argue with anyone who will argue back and when you try to call him out for his childish and poor behavior he blows up and essentially ruins the time for everyone. Most everyone in my family will ignore him and his shitty behavior for the sake of “keeping the peace” at family events. Well his target changes each event and when his sights land on me, I don’t accept it. He will try to be nasty and mean to me and I will tell him about himself. About how he has the emotional maturity of a fucking ant and how he will die if he doesn’t make everything about himself. Usually my mom ends up getting pissed off at both of us and either he will leave or I will. My mom likes to ask me why I have to “feed into him”. And I told her if she’s okay with him speaking to her like garbage that’s fine, but I’m not. I will always defend myself and stick up for myself. And if she wants to keep the peace she just shouldn’t invite me. She will retell the story like I’m the one who was being an asshole and so I’m curious…. Am I the asshole here?

Is the author male?

i 19m have friends that don’t drive (whether it be by choice or not having their licenses) which leaves me to drive and pick everyone up every time we hang out which is at minimum twice a week. this has been going on for over a year and not once have any of them paid a cent for gas (i haven’t asked to be completely fair but i still feel like they should’ve offered given that i did the same to another friend of mine that typically drives more than me). also they constantly talk badly about my driving and ridicule every missed turn or a slightly aggressive stop i make. a pretty typical response for me is to say that if they have so many problems with my drivign i just won’t drive them anymore(which i admit sounds kinda immature saying it out loud) and today i said it again after them tellling me cus my driving i no longer have my “aux privileges.” So, one called me out for “bringing up” the fact that i always drive to which i responded that i only do it in response to jabs at my driving since it annoyed me that they talked poop when they couldn’t do a better job than me themselves. then, they proceeded to tell me that a good friend wouldn’t treat me picking and dropping them off every time we hang out as a favor and that if they were the ones driving (they never are) they would never bring it up. I was thinking about bringing up gas money in the argument and the fact that they never offer anythign and are ungrateful but am afraid of sounding like an uptight jerk so chose to keep my mouth shut. am i in the wrong for bringing up the fact and constantly using it as a defense?

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Recently, I gave my Aunt and Uncle an ultimatum about keeping their daughter for the school year. My cousin, Cassie, is 16 and very gifted. She’s recently got into a school that is very selective and even was able to score a full scholarship which they only give two students a year. This school can be a direct pipeline into college and the career field she wants for herself later in life.This school just so happens to be in the state in which I live and only a twenty minutes drive from my home. After thinking it over with my long term girlfriend of 5 years we have decided that as long as her parents are fine with it she can come stay with us. She’s gotten a once in a lifetime opportunity and we think she should pursue her dreams.This caused me to have to break no contact. It is long story but short version is when I was 17, I am now 26, my twin sister, Nadine, knowingly cheated with my boyfriend for months behind my back. My parents took her side and called me a liar to my face and to others making me a social pariah in a small conservative area that I was this weirdo freak who was out for her twins bf. It didn’t help that I had always been less favored than Nadine by friends and family for reasons like being, introverted, “fat and ugly,”and being goth. I knew my parents would never love or respect me the same as my twin.When I left I kept in contact with my grandmother, who was my ONLY family that believed me. 2 years ago she put Cassie in contact with me to talk about personal issues she thought I could help Cassie with through experience as a safe trusted adult. After weeks of back and forth my aunt and uncle decided to let Cassie stay with me only if I spent some time with them to “re-know me” minimum 3 weeks. I think it’s reasonable request if they’re gonna let their child stay with me. That being said I do not want to be ambushed my parents or anyone else. Ive offered my home or a paid Airbnb somewhere in middle distance. They have repeatedly kept pushing with different excuses to stay at their house like their jobs, which they initially said they would take the time off for, before I brought up different locations. The final registration is due soon which means a decision has to be made shortly. Finally I said that if I am ambushed during my stay I will not take Cassie and have her used as a pawn into my life.They could tell I was being serious and started going down different paths of shaming me and pleading with me. They have said if I meet with just them it will ruin their relationship with my parents and others. At the same time this a dream opportunity for Cassie. They’ve called me selfish for putting them in the middle, but I am simply making boundaries clear. My girlfriend’s mom gave me a shocking POV semi agreeing with my aunt and uncle. She thinks if I’m not willing to reconnect that I should tell Cassie no to moving with me and I am the asshole if I say “yes” with conditions.

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For context I love to cook and I’m happy to do so and do it often for the kids. We moved to my wife’s country a few years ago and the food was first among many culture shocks. As I result I really took to cooking so I wouldn’t have to miss my favourite foods. I have found new stuff that I like here. My wife has cooked stuff that I like before but recently she’s been focusing foods that throughout our marriage I’ve been vocal that I don’t like. I find it odd that she gets upset I don’t want to eat it as she doesn’t like when I make smash burgers so I don’t get upset when she doesn’t eat them. It feels less wanting to do something together and more wanting me to like what she does.

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Today my mom is going to cook lunch, and my dad is going to do the yardwork. My sister is insisting on doing both of them. She says that she wants to help my mom cook lunch, and then help my dad with doing yardwork at night. Typically we take turns helping my mom cook, and I usually help my dad with yardwork.The issue is that I don't want to feel guilty or useless for not doing any chores today, especially since I'm older than her by 3 years. Also, she does this thing where she gets mad at me if I don't help out, even though she does all the work. For example, she'll wash all the dishes, and then scold me for not washing the dishes. Or she will take out the trash or get the mail before I get a chance to, and then she gets mad at me for not doing those things. I don't think she really does this to help out or because she's hard working, but just because she wants to make herself look better than me in our parents eyes, and to make me feel bad about myself.Anyways today is my sister's turn to help my mom cook, and my dad only has time to do yardwork today. He says that he is fine with my sister helping him, especially since it will be her first time helping with yardwork (in the past I've been the one doing it). There aren't any other chores that needs to be done, because house cleaning was done on Friday already. So the only things to do today are cooking lunch and yardwork. I asked my mom if I can help her cook, and she said that I cooked yesterday, so it's my sister's turn to cook. I pointed out that she wants to help dad with yardwork, but my mom still said that she wants us to take turns cooking.Then I told my sister that it makes more sense if each of us does one of the chores today. But she says that it's her turn to cook and that she really wants to help dad with yardwork and try out the yardwork equipment. I said that it would be too much work for one person, and that it's only fair if we split the work. She still insisted on doing both, and then I said that she will get mad at me for not doing work (something she's been doing for a very long time). She denied playing her game, and told me to go away. I told my parents what happened, and they told me to chill out and give my sister an opportunity. I explicitly said that I don't want to feel guilty or useless for not doing work while my younger sister is, and they said that it's my mindset problem. I still said that it makes more sense if each of us does one of the chores, and then my mom got agitated and said that I'm robbing my sister of valuable learning opportunities.

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This might not be a big text, but here goes. My father (50M) and I (16F) don't get along too well in stressful situations. The past three years, he's been extremely annoying and getting on my nerves (including my mother's). I try to blame my hormones, but I have a hunch that it's not my hormones that's making me seem kind of like a dick at times. But my father has always recently been complaining 24/7, being a bit selfish and talking about himself and so on. I was feeling like I wasn't allowed to speak my opinion without being told to shut up by my father. But after these years of dealing with the bullshit, a few days ago I was getting on my last nerve. When he tried to bust into my room to look at my "pigsty" because of the fact that we were talking about ants and earwigs getting into the house. I didn't want to feel ashamed and embarrassed by his words, so I quickly ran over to grab the door and shut it before he tried opening it. That resulted in me screaming and so on, before I just ran into the bathroom. After I was screaming in the bathroom, I came out and started ridiculing and insulting my father, before flipping him off and slamming my room door shut. Yes I now feel VERY bad about doing that. My father and I made up obviously, but I still feel extremely guilty because I knew my father didn't deserve to be screamed at by his youngest child. so.. AITA?

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We (16-17) were at a cafe with my friends, I know 2 of them from mid school (Stacy and Laura) we rarely see each other. The other one is from my high school (Shelly) There were two guys around our ages at the next table and they were signing. My friends started talking about how cool it would be to know sign language and they wonder what those guys talking about. Then, I don't know why I did this, but lied I know some. They all seemed excited and asked me to show them some signs. I actually know the fingerspelling and about like 5 basic signs, so I showed them those and it was enough to convince them. They asked me if I could interpret what those guys were saying. I said no I can’t that’s rude etc, but Stacy insisted saying she thinks the guy is cute and so curious. I said fine and then made up something funny on purpose to make them laugh. Everyone laughed and then our food arrived and we dropped the topic. Until Stacy wanted my help to get the cute guy's number. I panicked. I told her she can just type it out ask for his number herself. But she insisted she wants to do some small talk before asking for his number and I should interpret for her since I’m “so good at it” I needed to make up something , so I said fine I will do but I there is something she should know. Earlier on I saw him making fat jokes (my friend is slim but sensitive about this topic) and slut-shaming his ex. So I don’t think he is best person to ask out. She then said she didn't want to anymore. After we said our goodbyes and left Shelly told me it’s so cool I know sign language why I never told her about it. I laughed confessed her the truth. (we see each other like every day so I couldn’t keep up this lie with her) She got serious asked me why I lied to them. I said i don’t know I guess I just wanted to seem cool. She said what I did was extremely rude and I used those poor guys to make them laugh and that wasn’t ok. She I also asshole that I ruined Stacy and the cute guy's chance and I’m a giant asshole for that. I agree that part was bad, but I was just trying to save myself there and it's not like he was the love of her life. Other than that I feel like she’s exaggerating and this is not a big deal as she makes it to be. AITA?

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My boyfriend (16m) and I (17f) have been going out now for 2 months, we dated in the past for 7 months and got back together in May. My boyfriend is very chronically online he spends so much time on his phone and its starting to make me feel like he doesn't want to be around me. It was my birthday yesterday and I had him over at my house, my friends made a bet about how much time he spent on his phone this week and when we checked it was 61hrs, that day alone he had spent 8 hours on his phone despite getting to my house at 2. The whole time he was there he was either watching tiktok or texting people and I just feel like it's really disrespectful infront of my family especially. I've asked him to come off his phone before and he laughs puts it down for like a minute and then goes back on it. Aita?

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So my (23f) bf (25m) and my best friend (23f) were all planning on going to an amusement park today. Just some context, I work overnights and rarely get to do fun activities or even go out with friends, I also requested this weekend off (I never get weekends off) two months in advance. I also don’t get to see my best friend very often due to living about an hour from each other. I think we’ve seen each other 3 times in the last year. My best friend and I have also already spent $60 each on our tickets since we bought them days ahead.Well my boyfriend got a mild case of food poisoning (we think from a kolache that had been sitting out for about 3 hrs). I understand that he doesn’t feel good, but he’s still well enough to take care of himself. And there’s not much I can do to assist someone who’s basically shitting constantly. I understand not wanting to ride rollercoasters in that state, but I’m not sure I understand why I have to stay home too. I would really prefer to not spend the one weekend I get off after months of planning to be sitting at home while watching him play Elden Ring between shits.I did ask him if it was okay if I still went and he said he’d really prefer is I stayed home. I know if it was me who was sick, I would tell him to go without me because I’ve done it before. Am I really just being insensitive?Edit: My best friend and I ended up going to the amusement park and it’s been tons of fun. I talked to my bf and told him that I would be going, but that my mom would be on call if he started feeling too bad (his parents live out of state). He was actually really cool with it, he’s honestly an amazing boyfriend, and I have loved everyday of the four years we’ve been together so far. Also to the guy who messaged me telling me I wasn’t girlfriend material and he should leave me, womp womp.

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For context, My sister in law decided it would be best to do my future god daughters baptism the 28th this month mixed with her 3rd birthday. We’ve gone half and half on an Airbnb, and I sponsored all decorations with religious stuff, and sent the invitations with MY name and her god fathers name. But my sister in law called me earlier saying she hired a stripper as surprise for my brother as a birthday gift ( July 20th) and the baptism/ my future god daughters bday is July 28th. I’m one for a fun time and to laugh but this is a kids party!! She stated that she would have my god daughter and her kids out by 8 pm and that party starts by 4 pm which is 4 hours! But yk most kids of other parents are going to be there. I told her to do it the day of my brothers bday but she said it won’t be as fun because most people (her and his friends) will be attending the 28th….. I want to cancel it all and pull out the money I’ve put in for this party if a stripper will be stripping on my brother later that night while the people who attended for a baptism will be in complete shock. I mean cmon what are people going to think as the god parents?? We’ll be looked down on for putting up such thing. I’ve talked to her and some other people and she said the baptism practically starts by 8 am because of church’s so it doesn’t matter. But it does because of all the people who will attend. I’m just frustrated and want to pull out of this whole thing if that’s what she is going to do.

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AITA for "stealing" someones karaoke song? I 27f, go to this bar that does karaoke every Fri & Sat. I'm there almost every weekend. Most regulars have their "song" they always do, I have a song too, but you can go multiple times and sing different songs. There's this girl, I'm assuming in her late 20s, early 30s we'll call Jessica. Jessica always does one song, she sings it every week almost and does fairly well at it. Well karaoke goes from 8pm to 12am, Jessica is normally here before then and stay til the end. I get here at the bar around 8:30ish and sign up for my stuff. We'll Jessica wasn't here this week at the normal time she usually is, and the song she normally does *is* a song I /wanted/ to try singing cus I love the song. There's no real rules with karaoke so I signed up for the song at 10pm because Jessica wasn't there and I wanted to give it a go. I did the song, people cheered etc and I thought that was that. Well Jessica showed up late, about 11ish and went to go sign up for her "song" and was told by the karaoke lady "someone else sang it, but if you also wanna sing it, I'll squeeze you in"Jessica didn't take to that well and was on a witch hunt for who sang HER song. I told her I did because she wasn't here and I wanted to try it, I wasn't trying to outshine her or steal her song I just loved it and wanted to give it a go. She called me an AH and said I should've known better and she's been getting other bar-goers to call me an AH for stealing her song. So reddit, am I the asshole?

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Hi so I need some advice. My mom passed away back in 2022. My aunt, her younger sister, paid for everything. It was my moms wish to be cremated, which is what my aunt had done. My aunt informed me a few months after my moms funeral that she had “something special” planned for moms ashes and she’ll “send them to me when she has the time.” I tried texting her periodically to see if there was an update as to when the “something special” would be done so I could get my portion of the ashes to help with the grieving process. I should note that I am not my mothers only child. She has 3 biological children and 3 biological grandchildren not to mention her mother (my grandma). None of us have received a portion of moms ashes except moms youngest child and one grandchild and that’s because they live with my aunt. I have tried not to text my aunt too much because she works long hours at the hospital and I didn’t want to seem too pushy. But the last time I texted her about my moms ashes was August 31, 2023. It has almost been a year. She has responded to texts I sent her later on, but they weren’t about my moms ashes so I know she is receiving my texts and knows that it is me. What do I do? I don’t want to pester her to the point where you pressed charges for harassment but I can’t move forward with my healing process without my portion. I don’t even want that much. Just enough to fill a small capsule type necklace. Somebody, anybody please give me some advice. Oh one more thing I forgot to mention, my mom and her siblings (there were 5 kids total in her family) were not close. Not to mention my grandpa is still alive as well. My mom was the first to pass away. And the only one who has her ashes is my aunt who paid for everything, my sister and niece and my other aunt who paid for a portion. I was never told that I had to pay my aunt or anybody to get a portion but I feel like I should have some.

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I 18F am the eldest of 3 and am currently living at home with my parents. I graduated last year and had a massive fall out with my friends from high school following our schoolies trip. I haven’t had a very active social life and haven’t gone out much in the last 6 months unless it’s been with family or my partner. It wasn’t until February when I started uni that I met new people that I would now consider some of my best friends. Outside of uni we have only managed to hang out once, as we live a good 3+ hours away from each other. recently an opportunity popped up when my family told me they were planning on going to a country town for the annual field day. This is something that we haven’t been to in 5 years due to covid and other things, meaning I was 13 and 14 the last time we went. This field day is something that I’ve never enjoyed and previously had no choice but to do. since turning 18 I’ve been told that I don’t have to attend family holidays or outings and even thanked on occasion for when I do. I regularly spend weekends at home or out to dinner with my family, while my 17 year old sister goes out to parties and gathos. I haven’t missed any major holidays or outings since I’ve turned 18 and had the opportunity of doing so. this is the first and only time I have ever said that I don’t want to go on a family trip. When I first voiced this a month ago I was told that that was fine. But now that it’s less than a week away from this trip I am being told that this is the last opportunity for us to do this as a family of 5. this is the same argument I was told back in Easter when I had an assessment due and asked if I could stay behind while they went away. Tonight when I asked for that I think is the 5 time over the last month, if I was able to have my friend over while they were away, I was met with the previous argument that this was the last time we would be doing something as a family and told that I was being selfish because this is important to my dad that I go. Previously I would just give in and go but I’m kind of over being told that I don’t act like an adult but not given the chance to do adult things. It feels like I’m being guilt tripped into going even though it’s the last thing I want to do. it’s not even about me having a friend over either - it’s because I’m saying I don’t want to go. Now they’re saying I can’t stay at home if I don’t go and need to find somewhere else to stay while they’re away. So AITA for not wanting to go?

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My husband and I were driving around today, as his family member gave him a cool old school convertible, and we wanted to look at a house again we were considering putting an offer on. I was horrified to notice an elderly woman lying and not moving much if at all between the driveway and garage. I finally got my husbands attention, explained the situation, and he figured out how to reverse (stick shift) and she was still there, so I knew something might be wrong. I hopped out and ran over, and asked her if she was okay. And again. Nothing. I yelled to him to call 911, and he went about finding the address.I was so terrified, as I wanted to help, but didn't know how, so I touched her shoulder, and reiterated my question of how to help and this time she stirred and I was so grateful. I helped her sit up. She looks around, and says she thinks she needs help. I tell her that's why I'm here- to help, and I ask her how I can help. She seems confused. After a minute or two I get my husband over to help her on her feet (he's very strong), and she thanks us and compliments our car, and starts getting inside. She doesn't seem to hear everything I say and I can't tell if she is out of it or hard of hearing, but she isn't looking at our faces/mouths like the many people hard of hearing in my family. She goes in, so we have no choice but to leave.I can't help thinking I want to make sure she is okay and not confused, so we ask the police to still check in on her. We called them up again later, and they were able to tell us they checked in and spoke with her and medical was not called, so I was so happy.I posted about this, and now I'm wondering if I'm TA. She said we didn't need to call anyone, sort of, because she said "No" at one point, we think to whether we should call someone. The post was about whether we should come around next time we go by to ensure she's okay, but now I see that's crazy. The posts' responses indicate we should never have done what we did by being so intrusive with questions after we helped her up once we got to that point. Were we TA for still having the police go out? I feel terrible if I embarrassed her, but I would have felt worse if I saw an obit in a day or two because I didn't. And she seemed so kind, but a bit out of it, no wonder. Falling can be scary, but there is a head injury or stroke... Anyway, am I TA for calling the police after we left and asking them to check in?I had originally considered, based on my husband who originally thought I was being silly, to bring cookies or pie to her in the next couple days, and make sure she's good, and you know, see if she wanted to divulge if she needs any help, as she was so sweet and reminded me of my beloved Grandma. I guess this is probably crazy, so I won't, but is there anything else I should/could do? I just worry because if she had had the garage door closed.... it was almost dark, you know?

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My (20f) bf's mom is a doctor with a pretty big practice. She has the only pediatric urgent care within 10 miles, has the only reproductive health center since planned parenthood closed in our town, and has 4 offices. From day 1 she has drilled it into me that if I am ever sick or hurt and need care, or if it's an emergency and her clinic is closer than my hospital, to call her and get to her clinic and that we'll figure everything else out later. I have only done this twice in 2 years. Both times were when my bf told me to go, I said I was fine, and he called his mom and had her tell me to come in. She refused to charge me both times. I really do not want to take advantage of her generosity. I have a 14 year old brother. He twisted his ankle at soccer camp on Wednesday and it still hurts. My mom told me to call my bf's mom and ask her if she can see my brother. I said no, the urgent care is open on Saturdays and she has health insurance or she can take him to his doctor on Monday but it's not an emergency and I'm not going to ask her for special treatment for him. My mom is upset and saying I don't care about my brother and that it doesn't hurt anyone to ask but I don't want to pressure her and I know if she says no my mom will be like "you already did it for op, why can't you just take him too". AITA for not asking her to take my brother just because she took me?

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*Edited for paragraph breaks: I (24 F) & my boyfriend (29 M) planned a trip back to his home state to visit family & go on a day fishing trip. We arrived Tuesday night & were set to leave Sunday morning. We planned the fishing day for Friday. Friday rolls around & we get down to the river & the forecast was giving rain but thought we’d stay until it rained. 5 mins in, my sunglasses screw came loose & my lens popped out. I stop to ask him if there was anyway he could fix it real quick as they were an expensive pair of glasses. He was annoyed & sighed but he fixed them. A few mins go by and my bait gets hung, I try getting it unhooked but didn’t want to break my bait off, so I ask for his help. He looks even more annoyed and sighs deeper, but gets it for me. At this point, I get sad & my mood changes (he notices) bc he always has the worst attitude when I need his help, acts like I’m a nuisance. A few more mins go by & the sky is black, he makes the call we need to head back. We get back to his fams house, he doesn’t say a word for 3 hrs & was on his phone. I tell him we can go back when it quits raining, but he refuses. I offered to sleep in the other room that night bc I was over his piss poor attitude. The next morning I woke up & got back in bed w/ him, he got up & said “pack ur bags, were going back home today, & im going out to my gndmthrs house & goin to the river” he didn’t invite me to go either place (we do everything together) but I say ok. I do start crying at this point. He comes back over to me &I say “thanks for the invite & what did I do so wrong, it’s not my fault life happens, my sunglasses broke, that I got hung at the river, & it rained. You’re just trying to find something to blame &it’s always me” He says “sorry I don’t want to take someone with me who I have to babysit, & if I wanted u to go I would’ve asked you” So I’m fuming but I don’t argue bc it’s not worth it to me. I just say ok.I realize he wanted everything to go right for his trip he had spent so much money getting ready for and planned, but he is blaming me for it being ruined because I was in a bad mood of the way he was acting when I needed his help. But he’ll help anyone else with grace if they need it, but if it’s me, even at home, he won’t get it done or acts like it’s the biggest burden. AITA for ruining his trip?

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So my mom sent me a text asking me to lack some stuff up from the hallway, and she began that text with “Hey little lady.” (I’m 25 by the way. Not exactly little anymore).I did not like that AT ALL. I can’t really explain why, but the nickname “little lady” just makes me feel super uncomfortable. It gives off the vibe of a 40 year old man trying to flirt with a high schooler ngl. So I did the task she wanted me to do and then, as politely as I could, told her not to call me that again because it weirded me out, and she got super mad. The reason for this is that my mom isn’t great at showing affection with words, but I crave that exact thing, so I’ve requested that she try to use affectionate words like “sweetheart” or the like. This was her attempt at doing what I asked, but it fell flat. She got really pissed off and started calling me ungrateful and accusing me of not appreciating how hard she worked to make me feel loved and appreciated. I genuinely don’t understand why she’s so mad, all I did was ask her not to use that one nickname and it doesn’t feel like a huge deal to me. AITA?

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One of my roommates, Sydney, told someone that I don't know that they could come stay with us. The reason they said this is because that person's parents are abusive and was trying to get them out of a bad situation which I completely understand. However they didn't even tell me any of this, they just gave the person a key to my apartment. This person has been coming in at like midnight or after I go to bed and at the earliest leaving at 8am. I usually wake up at 5 or 6am and make breakfast and workout in the living room so I can watch TV quietly while my roommates are still sleeping.its been over a week since this person has started sleeping on our couch in the living room. I feel really uncomfortable being in the living room and kitchen area when she is sleeping in there. It's been becoming a problem especially when she was here until 2pm the other day and had her boyfriend over. Last night I was home alone because both of my roommates were working the night shift and this morning I woke up at 5:30 and she was asleep on the floor in our living room preventing me from working out or getting breakfast and i have no idea how she got in unless she has a key, which i feel like i should of known about. I texted them 2 times asking how long she was going to be here because I didn't know what the situation was but they left me on read and never talked to me about it. This morning I sent another message explaining that if she is going to keep sleeping here then she needs to sleep in one of their bedrooms instead of the living room because it is interfering with my daily life and neither of them asked me if it was okay. My roommate finally came and talked to me and basically said that since she is only sleeping here from midnight until 8am that I should just deal with it and that she wont care if I use the living room or kitchen while she is sleeping in there. However I usually move the coffee table and watch TV while I work out but can't do that if she is sleeping in the middle of the floor and there isn't enough space to do it around her and the coffee table. I understand she needs somewhere to stay so I feel like asking for her to sleep in one of their bedrooms is a good compromise especially since they didn't talk to me about it in the first place. However, when I talked to my roommates, they said that the person can't sleep in Trisha's room because she is packing to move out soon and can't sleep in Sydney's room because it's too dirty and they haven't had time to clean or even do laundry in a month. I don't feel like I am being irrational and i feel bad for the poor girl in the middle of this, but both of my roommates have been being kind of passive aggressive and talking in their room with the door closed so I can't hear them since the conversation and basically told me that it's too much for them to let her sleep in their bedroom instead. So am I the asshole?

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My family and I live in a neighborhood filled with kids, dogs, and veterans. We have all three of those in our house, including a newborn.It's July 6th,and while I expect there to be fireworks going off all weekend, a family in a house very close to ours began setting off aerials (the kind you go to parks to see) in their front yard. It was so disruptive that we had a hard time focusing on our movie.Next to them lives my friend. She and her kids were sitting in their yard watching the fireworks. I walked over to her and asked if she thought I would be "that neighbor" to complain about the noise and how close they were setting them off to the houses. She shrugged and said "he did ask me if it was OK and I said yes" and "it is 4th of July weekend". She asked about my baby and dogs and then said "honestly naturelover588, you can absolutely go over and ask them to stop."I was standing with her by her front door as they fired off another three aerials, then the shrapnel started raining down. I distinctly remember a burning piece falling into his own yard, a burnt piece landing right between my friend's cars in her driveway (now closer to us) and then suddenly a large piece hit my shoulder, bounced into my face and knocked my glasses right off. It scared the crap out of me. I started towards the neighbors, shouting "you guys have to stop! You're hitting people! A piece of shrapnel just hit me!" And then I remember pointing at my house and saying "I have a newborn, and dogs, and there are war vets on this street!" (One lives a few doors down and has PTSD requiring a service dog.)The neighbor looked at me and said "sorry. I only have one more." And then lit another round of three aerials while I was closer to the fireworks than before. I literally ran back across the street to my house as they were blowing up because I was afraid I'd get hit again.He did not fire any more after that. I was shaking with adrenaline for quite awhile. My friend texted me to ask if I was OK. I told her I was shaken up, and also glad it was me instead of her kids.The firework guy never made an effort to apologize or find out if I was OK. I have a few photos of the mark on my shoulder that the shrapnel left. It's a small spot, but is red and swollen.I have never been a complainer, which is why I went to my friend first. I don't want to be labeled a "Karen", but this man's illegal fireworks not only disrupted the neighborhood, but they were dangerous to the property of his immediate neighbors and also caused injury to a bystander. So WIBTA to report it to police?

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Hello, I am a 21yo student and I would say I'm pretty introverted, I mostly have online friends and don't have a girlfriend or anything nor had I one. Last year I moved to a shared appartment with 2 others. In September one moved out and a new guy moved in, I'll call him Johnny. He is 6 years older than I am, active in gym, extremely extroverted and from the gym also meets a lot of friends.Johnny has more of a carpe diem mindset with one night stands etc. He brags about his body count and how many girls he is pulling. Meanwhile I am still quite conservative, I stepped out of Islam a few years ago but I don't active do the extreme opposites of how I used to behave, namely in the context of relationships and sex, sometimes I'm even doubting if I am asexual.I became good friends with him, I think because of him I go out of my shell more. Eg, he convinced me to go to the gym as well. We go on evening or midnight walks, he introduced me to his friend Billy; we did 8-ball pool one evening, and something that I was very uncomfortable with, is we went to the club some time later with the three of us.This has happened in other occasions, but one that stands out and Johnny brings up sometimes. The evening at the 8-ball pool building. Billy, who has the same mentality about going out with women as Johnny, said during us playing that the female employee at the counter is hot / good looking (I can't remember the words exactly). When we stopped playing, Billy went to the counter to bring back the playing balls, or so I thought. Johnny stayed behind close to the exit and I just walked with Billy to the counter. He gives the balls and pays. Later I hear from both of them how I ruined Billy's chances with him talking to the girl. It never came to my mind that is what he wanted to do when handing in the balls. They said that me being there next to him makes it awkward so he couldn't make a move. Another time, Johnny and I went to the supermarket and I bought strawberries. We went to the gym directly from the supermarket. I opened one of the strawberries boxes to eat there and gave some to few people I met from the gym. At one point Johnny asks if he can have the box for a second and took it to give to and talk to a woman he has 'in his radar' so to speak. I didn't know that at first. They were talking at a distance and I just went up to him because I just wanted to have a strawberry. Later I hear again that I am making it awkward by interrupting him. While exercising he talks about me not understanding social cues that I should back off when a guy is trying to talk to a woman. AITA?

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so my in-laws have been staying with us for the past 3 months, and our electricity bill just came in at a whopping $1000! Normally, it's around $500, even with the dryer and heaters going.When I told my MIL about the high bill, she tried to blame it on me using the dryer, but I don't even use that thing anymore. I've been trying to save energy by turning off the lights after them, but it's still crazy high.The other day, I even caught them sitting in complete darkness when I went outside. I didn't say anything about it.But #AITA?

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Long time lurker, first post :) Basically, I had a family member ask if I wanted to house sit while they’re away. I said sure, they have a beautiful home and they also said I could have people over. Later on, I asked what the compensation would be. In my previous experience, family members & friends have always paid me for taking care of their pets, taking care of plants, and overall making sure the house was orderly when they got back.When I asked her about payment, she snapped and basically said it was a privilege to stay in their big house for free. I was taken aback - I thought it was normal to compensate someone if they’re going out of their way to drive to take care of your home, pets, plants, etc. AITA?

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I’ve been living with my roommate, Ryan, for about 6 months now. We get along pretty well most of the time, but there's one thing that's been driving me crazy lately: his bass guitar playing.Ryan's been taking lessons and has gotten pretty good, but he loves to practice and play for hours on end. The problem is that he plays at full volume, and our apartment is small. I'm a light sleeper and work from home, so the constant thumping and booming is making it impossible for me to focus or get a good night's sleep.I've asked Ryan multiple times to keep the volume down, but he just laughs it off and says "come on, it's just a little loud" or "you're just being sensitive". I've even offered to buy him earplugs or help him find a quieter place to practice, but he just doesn't seem to care.Last night was the final straw. I was trying to work on a deadline and Ryan started blasting away around 10pm. I asked him to please turn it down, and he just told me to "relax" and "it's not that bad". I lost my cool and told him that if he didn't turn it down, I was going to have to take matters into my own hands.Ryan got upset and stormed out of the room, saying I was being unreasonable. Now we're not speaking to each other and I'm feeling really stressed out about the whole situation.Am I being an asshole for telling Ryan to stop playing his bass so loudly? Or is he being inconsiderate?

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(using a throwaway acct as my ex knows my regular reddit acct sn as far as im aware) my ex and I split up shortly after she fell pregnant with our son in august of last year. We have had a good co-parenting relationship and i attended all of her apointments, was present for his birth, and so forth. he was born in May and is quite lovely and healthy. i drive a small sports car that is quite dear to me. despite being small and only a two door it has room for car seats in the back and ISOFIX anchors. the infant bucket fits in the rear passenger seat fine and i ensured that i had my installation checked by a professional. it’s quite a popular model of sports car so there’s heaps of information on the internet about it. the issue is that my ex has asked me to trade in the sports car as she feels it is unsafe for the baby. i’ve shown her the information available and even videoed my professional instal but she is insistent that i need a family car now and says if i don’t do it i won’t be able to transport our son anymore but because im witging regulations i am still politely declining. AITA?

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A few months ago, I moved counties, and what has surpised me the most is the amount of things people want me to buy for them. Its friends, mutuals, parent's friend's children, mutual's mutuals, and even random strangers on the internet who found my account. I understand that there are many things here that are hard to get in other countries, and I want to help but for some reason it has been stressing me out. Maybe it is because of all the added stress of the things that come with moving countries. Also, I still have never mailed anything here before, I can speak the language but I am scared I won't understand how to fill out customs forms or how much it would cost. So now other peoples things are taking up space in my tiny dorm, that I will have to take with me when I move soon into a tiny apartment, because many of them say they can wait until I visit home in around 7 months (rip my suitcase space), and some people have not payed me back for their items, it seems stupid but I'm stressing over it.So today, a guy I know online told me that someone we both follow, (but I never talk to besides the one time she asked me to buy her things when I visited this country last year) wants me to buy her something but is too shy to reach out to me. I was like "whyy she had me buy things before, its ok tell her to DM me" he told me she wants me to DM her about it first. Honestly I don't want to. It feels weird to me to DM someone when it is them who wants something from me, and I don't even know how I would word the message. I haven't responded to him. but it feels like it would be rude to tell him "no have her DM me" but also why should I give more effort to ask someone to ask me to do something for them that causes me stress. WIBTA? What should I do?

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I’ve been married for four years. A couple of weeks ago my wife "Mikayla" (47)was visiting her family for the weekend. I (M,45) was at my parent's hours 1.5 hours away. Everything seemed normal until...My wife texts me the next day and tells me that early that morning (3am) her Dad and sister in law had to take her to the ER. She had been drinking, fell, and needed several stitches in her forehead. Naturally, my first reaction was thank goodness you’re ok and that someone was there to help. Then, I started thinking about things and started to get angry because no one called or texted me to tell me about what happened. I’m not particularly close with my mother/father in law but we are cordial with each other. I’m closer with my sister in law and am disappointed that she didn’t reach out. I’m not sure what I would have done or could have done if they did notify me, but I just feel so left out. Maybe they felt it was my wife’s responsibility to tell me. Whatever their reasons were, I still feel I should have been notified. I would have done the same for them had the situation been reversed. I am her husband and at the very least, I could have provided insurance/medical info. I’ve really been avoiding that side of the family but know that can’t last forever. Wife says she is also upset that no one called me, but I think that was said only to keep the peace. So do I ask the family outright about the why I was not contacted for closure or do I try to let it go? aAITA for being mad?

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My wife has 6 children who were 18+ when we met 4 years ago. I have no bio kids. 2 years ago, the youngest daughter moved in. The dynamic between her and my wife created tension in the house. Additionally, the daughter didn't believe she should work, provide for herself, or go to college/trade school. She eventually moved out of state to live with friends because they let her “cook and clean and not work”.Months later, the oldest son moved in after discharge from the military. The same weekend, his wife and two young kids also moved in. A week later, he decided to move cross country, leaving us to provide for his family.9 months ago, my wife and I moved out of state (alone). After 4 months, we took in the oldest son's 4 y/o out of concern for his safety. This arrangement may be long-term.Recently, the middle daughter asked to move after breaking up with her bf. I said no. The oldest son suggested moving in, potentially helping with his son. I said no. Last night, the youngest daughter asked to move in again. She found a room to rent after her friends decided to move to another apartment without her. While at the room, she “heard screams from her upstairs neighbor and called the cops.” She was scared and left. I said no. Now she and the oldest daughter aren't speaking to my wife.Additional context: I'm self-employed, relatively new business and the sole provider. Taking in the 4 y/o has been quite an adjustment -draining- but he’s a great kid.I feel some of the stepchildren judge my wife, because we live well, and think she should do more for them.Honestly, I don't want to take on the responsibility of others decisions. I'll assist in solutions, but don't want to be the solution. I've helped in other ways like paying rent, but drew the line at moving in. AITA?UPDATE: There are many requests for my wife’s POV in all this. My wife wants to rescue them in any way she can AND she does not want any of them to live with us. It’s the paradox of being a mother. UPDATE 2: My wife just shared with me that over the last month, she has been helping the youngest daughter find housing and employment near us. She found great options, even applied to some places on her behalf. The oldest son also invited her to live with him so they could share expenses. She declined. My wife and I are even more grounded in our "no".

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I've never posted here before but I feel like my actions warrant outside opinions, since I don't know if I'm being dramatic.I (18F) live at home as a way to save on costs for college and have been doing my own laundry since I started high school. It was out of motivated self-interested (in a house of five people, laundry takes a while and I would sometimes want to wear specific things), but in recent years I've been building resentment with my parents over laundry.The problem stems from the same scenario. A parent puts a load of laundry into the washer, and then there it sits, sometimes never having been run in the first place. Days on end, on some occasions. Then I bring my laundry in, and have to do both this load of laundry in addition to my own so that I can clean my clothes. I've brought up the issue casually before, simply requesting that clothes can not be left sitting in the W/D units, and have been promised they will not. No dice, it has continued over the course of three plus years. I am essentially doing the entire house's laundry (four people beside me, now one additional girlfriend that is living here temporarily while looking for an apartment) AND folding it all so that I can wash my things. My tipping point was reached when I let my parents know that I need the W/D for my work uniform because it had been stained the day before and I need to clean it before my shift that night. Long story short, I wasn't able to get to work on time because I had to do their load of laundry (one in washer, one in dryer) in addition to my own. Furious, this last time today it happened I had had enough and tossed anything in my way on the laundry room floor so I could do my laundry and left it there. I got a nasty text from my dad while at work telling me that I 'wasn't 12, you can use your words when something is upsetting you.' Except I HAVE. And no one has listened to me. I don't like being in conflict with my parents because normally we get along, but I don't enjoy sifting through everyone else' laundry to do my own. Was I wrong for what I did? For reference, I cannot go to a laundromat. We do not have one nearby and I am not driving over 10 miles to do laundry when we have a unit that works just fine in my own home.

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So i (19F) have a mentally disabled half sister (9F) who's been recently sent away to an institution to get observed on her behaviour. All was well until today, i asked my mother about my room. I bought some new stuff to be installed and i really wanted this new laptop to play games. It eventually just came down to her response, like always: "Once i'm done with your sister's room i'll help you."Guess how many times i've heard that response before, way way too many times.Now today's events were kinda weird. The last few months of my sister not being home, me and my mother finally could have mother and daughter time which my sister would never allow. She takes up alot of attention and care. So to be simple, my room always had a mold problem. I can't have closed wardrobes or any closed closets. My wallpaper is old and ripped from when i started to take it off and to begin on placing new wallpaper. I told my mom i barely have any room left to put all my stuff and clothes. When i asked her to make time for me, she immediately flipped out. She began ranting again to me about: "Your sister's room has to be finished first, then yours." The old excuse was that she always worked, always had to babysit my sister or she was busy. We got into an argument where she kept rambling on about paying my school, license and car. I always help my mom doing chores or doing anything really. So at the top og tje conversation i asked her if i was sent away, would she renovate my room too?Honest to god, she blew up like crazy but as always and as i've mentioned she started rambling about what she pays and does around the house. There wasn't really room for me to talk anymore about it, and i really needed to vent. AITA?

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I’ve never really been a fan of tattoos, and my girlfriend recently got her first one, which she loves, and I am happy that she likes it. When she asked if I like it, I told her that I’m happy for her and that my opinion doesn’t matter, but I wasn’t really of a fan of it, and now she has been super dry and I can tell something is wrong. AITA?

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I recently had a conflict with my immigrant parents. I wanted to buy headphones for my cousin who lives in a country with a struggling economy. I mentioned how unfortunate it is that the country’s corruption makes basic items unaffordable.My parents got angry even though I was just asking if it was a good idea to surprise my cousin. My mom said my dad isn’t approachable, so I asked him what was wrong. He shouted that I shouldn’t talk about politics, criticizing my comments about the economic situation of his country.I calmly explained that I was stating a fact, but he kept being angry. Later, I found out he was upset about something else too. I suggested he could communicate his feelings instead of shouting. This made him furious, which confused me. He said my way of talking is bad, even though I believed I was being nice.We have a history of having disputes where I thought I was being nice but they were saying I wasn't and I don't understand why none of my friends or teachers has a problem with the way I talk but my parents do.Everyone tells me how nice and soft-spoken I am, except for my parents that tell me otherwise.Despite my efforts to explain I wasn’t being disrespectful, both my parents insisted I was. They often misinterpret my words due to language and cultural differences. This frustration led me to say, “I wish I wasn’t born into this family because my own family doesn’t understand me.”I regret saying that but at the same I time I am frustrated that they are not even willing to communicate with me and instead keep criticizing my language abilities in their language because I am not fluent in it or understand the cultural differences of it. I think they should be the ones to improve their language abilities of the country they have been living in for more than 30 years.AITA for saying that?

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Today while walking (26F) around my apartment complex there was a man I did not recognize trying to get into one of the main doors. After attempting to get in without a fob, he walked up to me and rudely asked if I could let him in. To which I replied "I'm not going in there."After I said that, he said "Ok, which door are you going into then? I'll follow you" in an annoyed tone. At this point I did not reply, and I started walking away. He began to follow me, and I began to feel uncomfortable. I then walked across the street away from the apartment, so he would stop following me. After this he called me an asshole, and began knocking on the gym window for someone to let him in.Am I actually an asshole for not letting him in? I will admit my approach to saying no might have been rude, but I felt uncomfortable.

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Background info:My mom(40) knows I'm(20f) childfree, but every few days brings up how she knows I'll have kids and how she'd love to be a grandma and when i should start to have kids....I don't hate kids i just don't like the things that come with kids like financial aspect and mental load. Anyways, onto the issue.I was in the kitchen making breakfast for my self, she asked me if my bf was at work and i responded yes.I took my breakfast into my room and my mom followed me up the stairs into the bathroom. Our house is laid out weird, so the bathroom in in-between all the bedrooms upstairs so you can see into the bathroom from my room but can hear it from the other rooms.Anyways, i'm eating and working on my laptop and she's asking my question, the normal routine. Out of the blue she went from asking about bf to telling me i NEED to give her a grandbaby. HUH?I roll my eyes and laugh it off, because of the rooms set up, she saw this and went onto a HUGE rant on how I'm a woman and i need to have a baby, i'm gonna havw a baby, when to start having a baby. She then said "I predict (My Name), you're going to have a baby by 28"This is where i might be the AH, i started to get annoyed, i stood up, and shut my bedroom door, i didn't lock it , i didn't slam it, i just closed it and left a crack from my cats to come in and out.She lost it and all day she's been giving me passively rude comments.I poured more gravy on my dinner? "Wow that's alot, you're not eating for 2"I raise an eyebrow or argue back? "Wow i can't say anything without you being emotional"I tried to sit her down to talk but it's hard to do when her partner is over and my half siblings are running wild and she's actively avoiding being alone with me....So instead I've been ignoring her for a few hours, even direct questions and comments.

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Sorry for formatting. On mobile. My roommate (25) and I (28) have been living together for about two and a half years. We used to be friends but recently had a bad falling out that had to be resolved with the help of a mutual friend. In this falling out, my roommate had decided the friendship was over several months before telling me/deciding to do anything about it. They gave me the silent treatment for weeks before I decided we needed to have a mediated talk. Post our mediated discussion, we agreed that we were not going to be friends, just roommates. But my roommate isn’t even treating me as well as they would a stranger! They don’t say anything to me unless I say something first, and when they do speak it’s just “hi” or “good morning” or during our weekly roommate meetings where we discuss chores/household matters. Recently, they’ve even been leaving the room when I come in. They don’t say anything, they just get up and go to their room. They glare at me. I find this extremely hurtful, especially in the wake of their weeks of silence. During our last meeting, they brought up that they were uninviting me from plans that we had made months prior since we were “just roommates” and I got mad at them. I said that we aren’t even “just roommates” and that I know that they don’t treat strangers this poorly, so why are they treating me this poorly? I told them that since they were the one who was making this living situation untenable for me, they should move out. They told me they couldn’t afford it, and I suggested that they stop eating out as much so that they could save up and leave. This resulted in a very heated argument where they told me I infuriated them, was childish, etc etc. Am I the asshole for asking them to move out? I think I might be the asshole since I know the rental market right now is bad, and moving out isn’t a small thing to do. My suggesting this also clearly upset them a lot. tldr: Roommate has been treating me poorly, I asked them to move out. AITA?

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I'm writing this at a pretty low point so bare with me, if anything isn't clear I'm happy to clarify in the comments. I, (18 M) am going to college in August. I'm queer, and identify as bi, my mother knows this and hasn't been the most supportive about it but hasn't been outright homophobic. I generally feel very comfortable with people in the queer space and so I opted into gender inclusive housing so I knew I'd be accepted by the people I'm rooming with. I didn't tell my mom because I didn't think it would even be an issue, as in recent months she's been more accepting of my sexuality and the transgender community. Last night, I came home from spending the day with friends, and my mom immediately called me over and asked "So what is this about the "gender justice housing." I plainly explained to her "oh, that just means that I have transgender roommates, is there a problem?" She got extremely upset, and said "I accept everybody, gay black, transgender, whatever, but we need to know about this so we can prepare." I asked her multiple times "prepare for what?" and she never gave a direct answer. She started telling me how my family has never made me feel not accepted, and continued to talk about how we needed to tell them so they could prepare. This back and forth kept going until she just said "I'm done" and so I went back to my room. I texted her a few hours ago asking her if she'd be willing to talk today or if she needed more time, to which she responded "I feel completely deceived by you. I don't know when or if I'll be ready." From my perspective, it feels like this mostly comes down to bigotry on her part, as she had no need to prepare for anything when she thought my roommates were cis, but I also never got clarification on any of her concerns so it's left me feeling like maybe I'm missing something obvious and I really am the asshole. I have nobody to turn to right now for clarification so reddit, AITA?

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My boyfriend (28M) and I (26F) have been dating for three years. Last year, he finally opened up about his ex-girlfriend, revealing how she had mistreated him by cheating and emotionally abusing him. I was very sympathetic and supported him through therapy as he worked through these unresolved issues.A month ago, I noticed he became secretive with his phone. When confronted, he admitted his ex had reached out to make amends as part of her personal growth journey. They had been friends for seven years before dating and apparently fell back into an easy rapport.This led to a huge argument between us. I expressed concern about him reconnecting with someone who had hurt him so deeply and was the reason he sought therapy. I also felt uneasy about the secrecy surrounding their communication.He acknowledged he may have overstepped but insisted on meeting her for coffee that Sunday to establish boundaries. Against my better judgment, I reluctantly accepted his decision. Before leaving, he asked me to text him reassurance after an hour, essentially being is therapist and sending him some motivational messages so that he felt empowered to confront his ex girlfriend, and also so that he knew I was there for him. I reminded him I had a doctor's appointment and might not be able to text precisely on time, but he dismissed my concern.As I predicted, I got caught up at the doctor's and forgot to text until about 90 minutes into his coffee date. When he returned home, he was upset, claiming I wasn't supporting his mental health and his approach to confronting past issues. I apologised but also pointed out that I had warned him about this potential scenario.So, AITA for not texting my boyfriend reassurance during his coffee date with his ex, even though I had reservations about the meeting and warned him I might not be able to text on time?

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I am quite the rule follower. I like to do things as they were asked and I feel unconfortable not doing so. I wish I wasn't so strict and I try to let loose, I still feel unconfortable but I try to change and all of my friends know this. I have this friend, let's call her Sophie. She is a great person, she has supported me when I needed it, and we both help eachother in everything that we can. We are very different. Sophie is very leader-like, she has a lot of confidence and likes things done her way. I was also like that, but because of *things* I have become a total people pleaser. I am not good at standing up for myself, but I am working on it.We complement eachother, and we make a great pair except for when sometimes we collide.Usually how it goes is: there is something trivial, Sophie wants it, I want it, and usually I give in and let Sophie have it. When I don't give in, she doesn't give in either and things start to escalate. This one day, I was asked by a teacher to keep three markers for the whiteboard so the class can use them when necessary. But they made it crear that he wanted me to keep them because if we let them in the classroom they may disappear. He told me he made me responsible for them. Sophie asked me for one of the markers to use on the whiteboard and I gave it to her because that is what they are for. When the time came to leave, I asked for it back and she said she wanted to keep it. I told her that I had been instructed to keep them and that I would like it back. She said: "Well, why do you mind? You already have two, let me keep this one and when we need it I will let the class use it. Please I want it." I told her that I wanted to follow the instructions and to please give it back. She kept saying: "Why do you mind? It id just one marker, you have the rest, I want to keep this one" I then asked her: "well, why do *you* mind? I just want to keep them like I was told to, they made me responsible for them, and I just want to do as I was told" Some other classmates chiped in and told me to just let it go and let her have that marker. In the end I did that because she would not listen to me.Just to be clear, I don't care about that marker, it is just that I don't get why I should listen to her when she says she wants to keep it, and she doesn't listen to me when I say I want to do as I was told to. AITA for wanting to keep it and to not give in this time?