text: Ryan: Theres something about this track. Theres something about this artist. I think its gonna stick. Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you -- and I wish I could literally pipe her into a screen near you right now. As a matter of fact, Im gonna roll the E! cameras for this. We bring you--
  Ke$ha: Ah!
  Ryan: Are you gonna fix your hair?
  Ellen K: Shes hiding! Shes hiding behind her hair.
  Ryan: Ke$ha! Live at this hour.
  Ke$ha: Ow ow!
  Ryan: Good morning!
  Ke$ha: Good morning.
  Ryan: Im so psyched to have you here. Congratulations.
  Ke$ha: Thank you. Im so excited to be here.
  Ryan: I was reading some of the facts about your single Tik Tok. Youre breaking records with this. Did you know that?
  Ke$ha: Ive heard rumors.
  Ryan: Yeah. Right on top. Right up against that Susan Boyle.
  Ke$ha: Oh yeah!
  Ryan: Very, very opposite styles. Wouldnt you say?
  Ellen K: Yes!
  Ke$ha: I think were very similar.
  Ryan: So you are from here?
  Ke$ha: Well yeah, I was born in the valley, but then I grew up in Nashville.
  Ryan: How did you end up in Nashville?
  Ke$ha: That was -- My mom was kind of like a punk rocker, and as a joke she wrote a country song that ended up being recorded by Johnny Cash, Dolly Parton, and Merle Haggard.
  Ryan: Wow.
  Ke$ha: Yeah.
  Ryan: And how did you end up back in LA?
  Ke$ha: And then when I was seventeen, I got a phone call from this dude, and he was like, Oh, I think Im your dad! And I was like, Ok!
  Ryan: I think Im your dad?
  Ellen K: I think Im your dad? He thought he was--
  Ke$ha: Yeah, cause I dont know who my dad is. And my mom was like, Hm, possibility. And so...
  Ryan: Did she have any recollection?
  Ke$ha: Oh yeah! She was like, Yeah, definite possibility. But at the time she just wanted a baby.
  Ryan: Your mother sound like shes kind of like that, Hey! Let me just write a song and move on. Ah! Im just gonna have a baby and see what happens. So it turns out the guy was your dad?
  Ke$ha: No! Not my dad. The guy had a video game chair, like in 40-Year-Old Virgin. So I was like, Nope. Youre not my dad. So after I figured that out, it was about the same time I hooked up with Dr. Luke and Max Martin, and then just started recording like crazy.
  Ryan: At what point were you living in the Hills and in this Trans Am I read about?
  Ke$ha: Oh! No, I actually wasnt living in the Trans Am. I was livig in my grandpas Lincoln Town and Country car.
  Ellen K: Oh, those big.
  Ke$ha: Yeah, it was very roomy.
  Ryan: Nice! Much more space.
  Ke$ha: Its like a boat, actually. But that was for in between the period of time when I met this dude how was definitely not my dad, cause it was off the airplane, move in with this dude, Youre not my dad... Im gonna go..., and Im like, Where do I go? A car!
  Ryan: Have you found your dad?
  Ke$ha: No.
  Ellen K: Do you want to?
  Ke$ha: No!
  Ryan: If youre her dad, 1-800-520-1027.
  Ellen K: Now people are just going to say theyre your dad, again.
  Ke$ha: I dont know. Cause what if he is a loser? Id rather just not know.
  Ellen K: What if hes a big winner?
  Ryan: Shed rather just not know.
  
  Ryan: Wake up in the morning feeling like P-Diddy. You need to tell everybody why you said that.
  Ke$ha: Ok. So, one morning I woke up feeling like a pimp, cause I was-- well, I woke up surrounded by a bunch of babes!
  Ryan: A bunch of chicks?
  Ke$ha: Yeah. So it was kind of like Babefest09. Cause I really dont like to sleep alone, but in a totally slumber-party kind of way.
  Ryan: Right. So they crashed with you?
  Ke$ha: So they crashed with me. Cause I was pretty sure my house was haunted.
  Ryan: You were afraid.
  Ke$ha: So I was terrified. So they crashed.
  Ryan:
  Ke$ha: Yes. Obviously.
  Ryan: I wanna wake up in the morning and feel like Ke$ha! And are any of these your partners?
  Ke$ha: No!
  Ryan: Just all platonic?
  Ke$ha: Just babe friends.
  Ryan: Theres a track called Stephen. Was Stephen in there?
  Ke$ha: No! Stephens a loser!
  Ryan: Well, tell me about Stephen. Tell me about this song. Why is Stephen a loser?
  Ke$ha: Well, he wont call me! So obviously there must be something wrong with him.
  Ryan: Right! Why wouldnt he call you? I get it. So you wrote a song about how he wont call you and you dont get it.
  Ke$ha: Right. You obsess about the one guy who will not call you. And he was that one for me for like five years. Well, seven.
  Ryan: You were twelve.
  Ke$ha: I used to just drive by his house and the whole crazy bit. Yeah, I kind of stalked him a little bit, actually.
  Ryan: Did you find out why he never called you?
  Ke$ha: Cause hes a loser.
  Ryan: So this morning Ke$ha up early -- Ellen, could you describe in the best fashionista detail what Ke$has got on today? Cause I cant even figure it out.
  Ellen: Theyre zebra leggings. Duh!
  Ryan: Yeah, but theres a lot of accessories too.
  Ellen: Shes an animal. Shes got feather earrings. Shes got a black V-neck tee. She writes on herself...
  Ryan: Yeah, thats what I was really interested in.
  Ellen: A red bra -- she just showed me, red lace. And big old shades.
  Ryan: But you have dollar signs written all over your forearm, and then also some lyrics or words or something on your body.
  Ke$ha: My hotel -- the name of my hotel.
  Ryan: You have short-term memory loss?
  Ke$ha: Kind of.
  Ryan: You know where you are?
  Ke$ha: I think. Im on air with Ryan Seacrest.
  Ryan: Why the dollar sign in your name, Ke$ha?
  Ke$ha: Ok, that? Honestly, I was trying to be ironic. Because -- let me explain this to you. Its not cause Im like, Yeah, I got lots of money. Money! Woo! Its more like, I dont have any money. So... Im money. Cause I dont have any. This was at a point where I was on the track with Flo Rida, and I was hearing it everywhere, while Im shopping at the the dollar store for canned vegetables.
  Ryan: It is ironic. You couldnt get away from this. And this is Ke$ha on here, the female voice here. But you couldnt get away from this song. However, you couldnt get fresh tomato. Explain this; I dont understand. And I think a lot of people might think, What youve made, youre on a hit record, at least you get paid something. How do you have nothing, yet youre ubiquitous?
  Ke$ha: To be totally honest, I kind of walked into that situation accidentally. I walked into the studio and Flo Rida just thought I looked crazy. Lets put you on a record. And then he just kept it. And he liked it so much, I was actually on another song on his record called Touch Me, which a lot of people dont know. But anyways, he just tried to find other people to be the vocal, and nobody else cut it. So we kept mine. So I was just kind of like, You know what? Take it. Whatever.
  Ryan: Did you also try to sneak into Princes house?
  Ke$ha: Oh, I didnt try.
  Ryan: You did?
  
  Ryan: Lets talk about Prince. So you snuck into his place?
  Ke$ha: It sounded so much less psychotic in my mind. When I got his address, I was just like, Oh! Obviously Ill just go to his house and give him my CD. No big deal. Ill just wrap a CD in a bow, and there we go. So I snuck under his fence, but then I got stuck.
  Ryan: Youre talking about this big mansion up here?
  Ke$ha: Yeah, yeah, yeah. In Hollywood -- hes moved since.
  Ryan: I wonder why! It didnt sound so crazy in your head; I think in ours it sounds a little crazy.
  Ke$ha: And my butt wouldnt Uh!
  Ryan: Did he get the CD?
  Ke$ha: Yeah! No, I snuck under, paid the gardener five bucks, went in the house, the door was unlocked, ended up in his practice space, and gave him the CD. I did-- I did have to let myself out, per the security. But, I didnt get arrested. Horray!
  Ryan: Right. And look at you now.
  Ke$ha: Look at me now.
  Ryan: A five-year-old knows your song. Ryan plays Tik Tok
  
  Ryan: Ke$ha is with us. Ben, go ahead, youre on Kiss FM.
  Ben: Hey Kaysha, I saw that on the music video -- do you like guys like that? And is that Dirt Nasty?
  Ke$ha: That is Dirt Nasty! Hes actually a friend of mine. We did some songs together. But I do like guys with preferrably a trashy mustache and/or mullet -- either-or.
  Ryan: Can you give an example of a guys that looks like that?
  Ke$ha: Like Joe Dirt. Did anybody see that movie? Hes like my fantasy. For real.
  Ryan: So you do like dudes.
  Ke$ha: Oh yes. I like dudes? Oh yeah, I like dudes!
  Ben: You dont like clean-cut guys like Ryan and me?
  Ke$ha: And you? Well, I cant see you, but I like all dudes. Really. But I prefer a mullet and/or beard and/or... I kind of like fat guys, and guys who cant see super well cause then they cant see other girls.
  Ben: I gotta change what I eat.
  Ryan: Ben, thanks for listening to us. You like guys who cant see well?
  Ke$ha: Just to protect myself.