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my dad was admitted into the icu two weeks ago. i skipped my whole first week and a half of classes. i just started going back today. my mom and i have basically been living in the hospital since he's been here. we don't know what's going to happen. even the doctor's can't tell us. now my mom and aunts/uncles are telling me that i should drop out of classes for this semester. i talked to my cousins and they all say it's a bad idea and i need to stay in school. i decided that i want to do my best to attend classes and if it comes to it, i can do a late withdrawal. i have already communicated with all my professors and they have all been very willing to accommodate. my concern is i don't want to go to school and then regret it if something happens and i am not in the hospital with my family. i also don't want to withdraw from classes and then regret doing that. am i being selfish by not dropping my classes? | father is very sick and i'm in college. should i drop out? | 6yipg4 | are you meeting with a counselor/therapist? school health services should be able to hook you up whether you drop out or not, but now is a good time to get yourself all the help you can get. | needadvice | 6yipg4 |
so me and my gf have been together for a month now. before we were together she was dropping a lot of hints that show she had feelings for me but i was "slow" according to her not to realize. so we met up and we kissed then told our feelings for each other and thats how it started. but now a month later it's weird she used to show a lot of hearts in the text and showed interest in me but now not anymore. i told her i still like her and told her why and she called stupid, though i think it was jokingly i don't even know. our relationship is also a secret to others we can't act like we are together. also when we take the train together she looks disappointed and shes on her phone. so what now? | my girlfriend [15/f] doesn't text me [15/m] the same way like she did last month | 5ktgel | she's young. sometimes feelings are flighty. ask her directly what she's feeling | relationship_advice | 5ktgel |
i’ve recently started seeing a therapist. while the sessions have been ok, i think i may need more help. i’m crying myself to sleep every weeknight. i’ve lost the motivation to do one of the few things i love (cooking), choosing instead to just lie in bed (often crying some more). i’ve felt empty and drained for so long. i guess my question is, is it reasonable to give medication a try if i know the primary driver of my sadness? while i do have some family/relationship/personality issues that i am trying to work on, it is my job that is causing the bulk of my pain. it is 8+ hours of dread, fear, and frustration, and it is near impossible for me to not let it poison the remainder of each day. i am trying to get into a better situation, but even that is made more difficult when i feel so beaten down and hopeless every evening. thank you for your help! | depression, but i know the cause? | ebxf6r | this is really a question to ask a psychiatrist and not a therapist. as a therapist though i'd say it's definitely worth talking to a psychiatrist though and seeing what they think. ideally in therapy you should be working towards either finding a way out of that job or finding some way to cope so that it's not so stressful, but in the meantime, i imagine you'd like to stay stable enough to hold down the job until something better comes along for survival sake? if so, if medication is what helps you maintain so you don't have a breakdown, i don't see anything wrong with that. it's always much easier to get a job while you have one than to get one when you're unemployed, especially if you end up unemployed for a while. | askatherapist | ebxf6r |
i don't know what's wrong with me. no matter what i try to do i can't make new friends, i can't get girls, and i just don't fit in anywhere. i've even started to doubt my relations with my best friend. am i just a narcissist? can it be that i'm just so unpleasant to be around that no one can find a positive trait they can like? i'm probably being too broad, but, i just feel like shit. i've thought about killing myself, but i don't have the courage to do it. everytime i really think about doing it, i just pussy out. i don't get any farther than a thought, and it's made me think that i like to be pitied, even to the point to were i threaten *myself* with suicide. can anyone help me? do i need to be more specific? | i feel really terrible all the time. i don' get along with people at all, and i feel like just giving up on everything. | xc2yo | have you thought about seeing a counselor? a counselor could probably help you understand better what you're feeling and help give you strategies for dealing with it and getting to a happy place. | socialskills | xc2yo |
i understand firsthand how difficult it can be to internalize the advice of others, their words seeming to go in one ear and out the other. breakthrough insights seem to instead be more easily realized from within. i often wonder how much advice i give that doesn't quite reach the recipients. how do you shape your communication to get advice through to your patients? | how do you communicate to get through to patients? | ehlt10 | depends on what kind of advice you’re giving. generally i try to avoid advice because even if i think “here’s the answer” it might not fit for the client nor will it be followed through for various reasons. i might make suggestions or more like brainstorm with the client on options, ask what it would be like for them or if it would fit for them etc. most clients have the answers they just don’t know they do or feel confident in themselves to trust their own advice. make it more collaborative and if it comes from them they are more likely to buy in and to follow through. | askatherapist | ehlt10 |
i drank yesterday. i'm trying not to today. i'm sorry guys, but i don't think i belong in this group. i don't know what to do. therapy hasn't helped, aa hasn't helped, rehab hasn't helped. i obviously can't pull myself out of the hole i created. am i just destined for this forever? i know it's no ones fault but my own, but i'm so angry at the world. i feel like i'm just done. i can't get away from myself. i'm sorry if i'm just being depressing and i wish everyone the best of luck. nothing has helped me. am i just being a wuss? | i slipped guys. | 7sru7y | please don’t leave. relapse is part of recovery; i don’t know anyone who has gotten recovery without trying and “failing” first. each slip is an opportunity to learn. it is not because you’re not good enough or capable enough; it’s because addiction is a bitch and kicking it’s ass takes time and usually multiple attempts before it “clicks”. if anyone here decided to quit and on their first attempt was able to put down the drink and never look back, they can correct me. my hat is off to them. but most of us are like you: we quit, we slipped, we felt demoralized and rinsed and repeated. this is exactly where you belong. may i ask: did you get a sponsor in aa? i personally hate aa, but getting a sponsor was what finally stopped my slips. it’s worth a try when everything else has failed. chin up my friend. you can do this. iwdwyt | stopdrinking | 7sru7y |
i've tried googling it but all i find are paid services, i'm pretty sure i've seen in the past sites where people are getting consulted from various doctors, but i am not sure however it those were free or not. are there any such out there? also - can i use clotrimazole on the scalp? it says that the cream is for the hands, legs, groin area, ect however it is an anti-fungal cream, so i assume that you can use it anywhere where there is skin, even the scalp, no? (yes i have very short, close to no hair on my head ._.) | is there any free website that can offer consultation? and additional question! | 524f9m | have you seen someone to confirm that you have a fungal infection on the scalp? (doctors don't usually provide official medical consultations online for free, even in countries where healthcare is free at the point of access). | askdocs | 524f9m |
hey, so recently both me and my partner tested positive for chlamydia. i got prescribed a singe dose of antibiotics which i happened to take this morning. my partner has not taken his yet. i know the doctor told me to abstain from sex for 7 days, but i completely forgot that he hadn’t even taken his yet and i started to give him oral until i remember that i had already taken mine this morning. did i just waste the antibiotics?? will they no longer work? am i re infected? please help. | am i re infected?! | 8j682v | the antibiotic is probably still in your system and therefore you're unlikely to get reinfected, but it's possible. you'll need to get retested to check. | askdocs | 8j682v |
i'm 20m and for a few years now, i've been wondering whether or not i faced some sexual trauma and can't remember. i have no concrete memories of anything happening but there are a handful of symptoms that i feel like suggest something: - i freak out about being touched around my naval and sometimes thighs, and when a girl goes for my crotch i instinctively recoil and have to make myself relax. - i'm a bit of a sexual pleaser; i don't really care about my own gratification and find myself kinda numb during anything. - i masturbate to orgasm at least twice a day, and started doing so specifically to combat feelings of emptiness. - when i was a kid, i used to have this weird idea that older women wanted me. particularly if they were nice to me, i suspected attraction, and i don't know how this idea came to a 6 year old. - i acted out sexual acts with dolls most nights at around 7 years old. - a man kissed me on the neck against my will when i was 18 (it was a complicated situation) and i suddenly thought 'oh, this again' with no explanation. - i carry the sense that the only way to be loved is to make myself attractive and sexually available. - i cover up my body for fear of being exposed. now my mother was sexually assaulted and told me at the age of nine, so i wonder if that just gave me a certain sexual paranoia or even a need to invent a similar trauma to connect with her, if that makes sense. also, she was never great with boundaries - she drunkenly went to the toilet while i was in the bath, laughing as i told her to get out, for example, and once or twice described sexual fetishes to me. maybe small incidents like that had some effect, i don't know. i'm leaning towards the idea that i wasn't assaulted, or that my mother's occasional inappropriateness and hearing about her assault mixed me up a little. but i still can't shake the nagging feeling that something happened, and i'm always trying to remember it. i'm starting to worry about giving myself false memories, and i feel like an absolute scumbag trying to convince myself i have a problem. but when i view my child self as a csa victim, it's as if things suddenly clicks into place. do you believe in repressed memories? is it possible i could give myself false memories by obsessing over this? does anything i described sound like a real symptom? | could i have repressed csa? | fd9gtk | sorry you're going through this. for one thing, you said that feeling like a scumbag because you're trying to convince yourself you have a problem. that's a load of bullshit. you're not trying to convince yourself you have a problem. it's pretty obvious you do have a problem. at this point, it's just a matter of where it's coming from. it is possible to have some of the hypervigilance you described simply from hearing about your mother's abuse at such a young age, especially if she went into graphic detail at all. then again, when folks are sexually abused at a young age, it's extremely common for them to completely repress the memory. while this doesn't always have to be the case, we see that when this happens it's common that the person doesn't have a good vivid memory of their childhood during ages they really should. for instance, despite having some other more mild traumas throughout childhood, i'm fairly certain i was never sexually abused as a child (one can never be fully sure with repression and all). i have pretty spot on vivid memories going back as early as 2-3 years old. now this is pretty young on average, but the majority of folks can recall at least a decent amount of detailed memories from about 4-5 and up. many folks i've worked with who have experienced a ton of trauma have either almost no or an extremely hazy recollection of much later ages (ie. can't remember any real details of anything before 10 years old). edit: adding this last thing. best chance of figuring things out is to both talk to a therapist about it as well as talk to older folks who you trust who might have been aware if anything went on with you while you were young that you can't remember. i wouldn't really recommend doing the last part without having a therapist on hand to process the experience. | askatherapist | fd9gtk |
i was thinking about this today -- how i lost touch and connections with a few people i wanted to keep in contact with over the years. one girl in particular, b, was really cool and funny and invited me to a bunch of parties and bar openings. i always declined because i'm not much of a drinker, and preferred to just go over to her place to hang out and smoke. but eventually, she stopped asking me to places. she responded days late to my text requests to hang out and always had an excuse for why she couldn't hang out. in the end, i stopped trying. in hindsight, i don't blame her: all i wanted to do was veg out in front of the tv. she wanted to be more social and do more fun things outside. whenever someone invites you someplace, they are taking a risk. no one likes to be told "no" and they are risking rejection by simply asking you. it takes a lot to invite someone somewhere. just remember that, the next time you say "no" to an invite, it may be your last invite from that person. they will stop trying eventually. if you want to keep them around as friends, you have to do some of the things they like to do. go to bar openings even if you don't drink -- have a coke and talk to people. they are more concerned with themselves than with you, so don't worry about how you look. just enjoy the experience. | everytime you say "no" to an invite, just remember that there may not be another one. | 20yd0j | this is great advice. and one of my good friends (former fwb) just never wanted to do the things that we wanted to do, and it tended to revolve around hanging out with her one on one, but she was never down for a lot of the group activities that we would want to do in our circle. so, she got excluded. then she got mad when she got excluded. so, we were careful about whether we were inviting her or not and did not talk about things that we were doing together that we hadn't explicitly invited her to. this has led to her not really being part of the friend group anymore. and since, she feels bad, she has put up her walls and doesn't go out of the way to try to set up group events and hangouts. and since i have a girlfriend now, it's a bit awkward for me to talk to her or hang out with her one on one, so i tend to avoid it. edit: i would love for someone else to give her this advice. | socialskills | 20yd0j |
can someone please help me with tips to motivate myself to do my homework and study, it's my exam year but i always just feel too depressed or tired much appreciated | no motivation | d3c25f | as others have said, it's about discipline, not motivation. you're never going to feel like doing homework. you're never gonna wake up and be like "man, i'm so excited to go do homework!!!" so you have to kind of train yourself to do things when you have to and not wait around for your feelings. it takes practice. a couple of tricks that might help: make and keep a schedule. dedicate a certain time of day and/or day of the week to study. write it on your calendar. don't do anything else during that time, don't schedule anything else there. it usually takes a couple of weeks to fall into a routine, so do not give up in those first few weeks. it will be easier to keep the routine after that. change your environment. for myself personally, my bedroom is the "chill zone" - if i try to study there, my brain will default to what i normally do there, which is chill. so go somewhere else, where the whole purpose of you being there is to study. a library, coffee shop, a park, or heck even just a different table or desk in your house. eliminate any distractions. headphones. i like music without lyrics for working on stuff (electronic stuff is good), other music is more distracting. upbeat stuff keeps me awake and focused. white noise can help as well. for those moments when you have something planned but have trouble getting up to go do it - do a countdown. 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - get up. don't think about it just go. don't give yourself more time to talk yourself out of it. also, periodically standing up and walking around can help when you do get distracted. some people even prefer working while standing. say your notes out loud. teach a concept to a friend, or just act like you are. find a study buddy. do whatever you gotta do, and if something's not working, ask yourself **"what are the obstacles preventing me from doing this?".** good luck. | advice | d3c25f |
i have a huge problem with "latching on" to whatever emotion i'm feeling and acting on it. it's usually harmless but annoying, especially to other people. it can manifest itself as droning on and on about something that i care about, or "jumping ahead" in a conversation because i know where i want the convo to go and i just do it. ​ it becomes a problem when the emotions are strong and concern someone else. a breakup for example. or trying to ask someone out and texting a long paragraph about when and schedules and what we can do (when all i got was a "yeah we should hang out sometime"). ​ so, endearing if not a little bit annoying at the least, but detrimental to my relationships and friendships at the most. ​ what's everyone's experience with this? | does the emotional impulsivity get better with meds? | aeksc4 | i have just been on meds a few weeks. normally i am very irritable and emotionally reactive and prone to lashing out at my husband now and then. since starting ritalin, i still experience some irritability or moodiness at times but feel much better able to manage the feelings without lashing out. | adhd | aeksc4 |
**(history)** my therapist mentioned that i have shown positive signs of 'opening up' recently, a positive since i found it difficult to fully explain my life and issues to her, my first therapist. one example they gave (among others) was that i admitted to them that i watch porn (which they viewed as positive many weeks ago in terms of opening up, though embarassing, their reaction helped me feel more normal). however to follow up they immediately made a disclaimer that all porn is chauvinistic (as a criticism of porn itself). i tried to explain that i'm very careful to only look for ethical porn but they just laughed in a dismissive way. **question:** should therapists criticize porn? in the way i described? i was just left thinking that one of those small things in life that i enjoy is wrong/unacceptable. i now regret sharing. maybe they just aren't aware of modern sources/varieties? anyway fyi: i don't view porn often, it does not stop me from living my life, and it certainly does not dictate my views on sex. i'm living in the us so there's no issue with it being illegal, and i'm not currently in a relationship. thank you for any help. | should a therapists criticise normal pornography? | chimh8 | i agree. i guess your therapist missed the sexual health course. | askatherapist | chimh8 |
first, i want to give the disclaimer that i do currently know that high doses of acetaminophen are toxic to the liver, and i would not purposely take a dose that was more than the recommended maximum published on the bottle. but i wasn't always this smart. so when i was around 15-16 and was lifting weights to prep for high school football i had a lot of chronic back pain. to help me push through i would take tylenol when things got unbearable. but, one day it was so unbearable that i doubled the daily max dosage, about 8,000mg. the first thing that most people assume is that i became super sick from an overdose level of tylenol, and that i ended up having to go to the hospital for acute liver failure. but that never happened. i experienced no pain, discomfort, nausea, fatigue or any other symptoms as best i can remember. jump forward and i'm now going on 26. i learned of the real dangers related to acetaminophen overdose between then and now, and always wondered what really went on, but i've never asked a doctor. from the research i've done i understand that i probably killed quite a few liver cells, but the liver is a unique organ and can regenerate, so most likely any damage done was repaired with a few months, especially given that it wasn't serious enough to hospitalize me. am i correct in my assumptions that most likely things are fine considering they've been fine for 10 years, or should i be trying to find my way onto a liver transplant list? also before someone makes the comments (1) yes i know it was stupid to take that much tylenol, but everyone is 'smarter' at 15 (2) no, it was not an attempt at suicide and now i'm second guessing things, i'm really not concerned with breeding attention for myself by trying to convince everyone i'm not suicidal. demographics - age: 25 sex: male weight: 217 height: 5'11" race/ethnicity: white duration: ~ location: ~ current medications: none medical issues: none | residual worry about possible acetaminophen overdose? | ap0b96 | higher doses of acetaminophen are associated with higher risk of toxicity, but the toxicity is acute. if you made it through without symptoms, you likely took a low enough dose that you did no damage. maybe if you'd had liver enzyme levels checked they would have been elevated a few days after, but maybe not. you got lucky! for all the talk about the deadliness of tylenol overdoses, many people do survive. i'm not a toxicologist and i don't know if the risk is linear or not, but 10 mg in a day is a point where many, but not all, people suffer serious toxicity. it depends somewhat on size/weight as well. | askdocs | ap0b96 |
i don't think i can be helped. i go to appointments with a psychiatrist and don't take the medication she prescribes. i don't even know what my problem is anymore. i can only think about killing myself it seems. she said to go to counseling. i got waitlisted but got in. i wasn't making any progress. they kicked me out and said if i don't come in with any meaningful developments that they'll ask me to leave. i think ssris are just a bunch of bullshit, so i refuse to take them. but what options are there really? i got offered effexor but the medication name is just stupid and i told her that. and that i refuse to take medications with stupid names. what am i even doing? even the counselor said people at my level of depression don't get better without medication intervention. but i'm just so done with life that i can't even decide what's wrong psychologically anymore. i just know bad memories haunt me endlessly everyday. | can't be helped | 4cfkwe | so there are two issues with ssri's they don't start working right away(takes a few weeks), and after a while you may become dependent on them to make you feel normal. if you don't want to take medications, see a psychologist or therapist, not a psychiatrist (some people view points in the field that psychiatrists as simply pill pushers.) there are alternatives out there. another part of this is in order for therapy to work, you need to want it to work. you need to put in effort on your part to get better. depression is shitty and it can last quite a long time, so keep that in mind. there are also various things/activities that you can do to reduce depression and increase resiliency. try picking up a new hobby, try exercising (but in moderation, don't overexert yourself), get some sunshine (or vitamin d tablets if you live in the pnw,) also regulate your sleep and the amount of time that you are in bed/napping, coloring or any form of artwork can calm you down and express your self, lastly being religious has shown positive benefits as well. best of luck to you, there are people out there that want you to get better! again, you need to want to get better too! you can do it! :) | mentalhealth | 4cfkwe |
anyone else like this? it distracts me from everything going on around me. i've accepted that its a bad thing yet i can't go without it. | i'm addicted to my phone. | 8pmjmq | it's becoming more and more common. if you're a reader check our "irresistible" by adam alter. it's a long but really good and informative read on how people are becoming increasingly addicted to technology, phones, games, etc. and how the industries actually works to create addiction. | depression | 8pmjmq |
my heart rate is high and my voice is high pitched. i feel really self conscious of everything i do. idk what is going on. i took my meds like normal. | i feel weird right now. | j0buw7 | i recommend doing a guided meditation! even for 10-15 min forces you to deep breathe which is a step us with anxiety usually skip. | anxietyhelp | j0buw7 |
every time i wanna quit i find more. "oh look, an old bag i didn't like before." "oh look, an old pipe i can burn the resin out of." i haven't smoked today and i feel like my head is going to explode. i want to read but it feels like a magnet always repulses me from all the unread books i've purchased and draws my attention to this little screen that fits in my hand and is with me at all times. it seems that fear has taken control of my life and i am unable to do anything about it. i just turned 30. the older i get with this feeling of not being in control of my life, the more i have in common with gollum/shmeagel. it's not good. my emotional and mental health seem to be in the dumps but i'm too scared to change my situation. i started smoking when i was 22 and haven't gone more than a few months without it since. i know it's not all about the weed but i have seen some very inspiring posts on r/leaves before so i just wanted to get this off my chest and i do indeed feel a little better. thank you for reading. | wishing for a stable mind. | 5bdb5x | when i'm struggling i've found talking about it always helps me feel better. thanks for sharing what's going on for you. | leaves | 5bdb5x |
or are you just genetically screwed. i know this is something i need to see an endocrinologist about it. but it's just very obvious my body has always produced an abnormal extra amount of epinephrine (adrenaline) etc. why do i feel this way? because my entire life, there can be long periods of absolutely no "external stressors" and i wake up with a feeling of nervous adrenaline coursing through my body, i feel my muscles spasm (as i feel the energy course through them). exercise is the only outlet i truly get that gets out the adrenaline, but it requires a lot. and i know i'm not a doctor, and also should presume, but i do have some medical background (neuroscience/biology double major). my body just naturally produces adrenaline on a daily basis for no reason. i don't use stimulants, but it's as if my body is in a constant state of drinking way too much coffee. i've been diagnosed with severe generalized anxiety disorder since i was young and it's this very nonsensical, constant state of that feeling. just curious. male, 30 years old, 5'10", severe generalized anxiety disorder... very basic blood work panels all normal range (t3/t4, vitamin levels, testosterone etc.) | say you have over-active adrenal glands, is it possible to do anything about it, as far as treatment outside of the typical "coping mechanisms", psychiatric medications, or therapy? | jkz4ly | if your body produces excess catecholamines like adrenaline, that’s diagnosable and treatable. but that’s very rarely the cause of that on-edge, amped-up feeling of physical activation and anxiety that you’re describing. the usual problem isn’t too much adrenal activities but overactive response to signaling. that’s psychiatric, not endocrine. the appropriate treatment is psychotherapy and psychiatric medication. | askdocs | jkz4ly |
hi. i'm a stalker, and i don't want to be. are there any resources targeted toward men who do this but don't want to? something that isn't the typical "tough love / scare tactic" stuff. it's pretty bad and it isn't getting better. edit: please do not recommend therapy or try to sell me on e-therapists or assume that there are competent affordable therapist in my area. thank you. no therapy recommendations. | hi, i'm a stalker and i need help | 7clo0e | consider doing an assessment at your closest batterers intervention program. they also do stalking behavior, or could refer you to a place you’d need. | mentalhealth | 7clo0e |
i don’t know what else to do so i thought i would give this a try. my gran (f) age 79 lives with us in the uk, she is romanian and can’t speak very much english. she is here with my family because she was having strokes in romania by herself in her own apartment and it wasn’t safe for her anymore as she is alone. my gran for the past two weeks or so has taken ill. she does not leave the room. she does not leave the bed, she does not eat and barely drinks water and she is often delirious for the first time in her life. she left the room once and collapsed as she got downstairs. she also experienced pretty bad diarrhoea in the first week. the nhs gave us broad spectrum antibiotics as they suspect a bacterial infection, she got to her third one but she has vomited each time she took one. they say they can offer us anti-sickness pills. though she will not take them as she believes she will just vomit again. we cant sneak them in food since she won’t eat either. i am starting to have doubts and my mother is crying ali the time. i worry as she is not eating / drinking which may be exacerbating the situation. if you can offer any advice please do. should we take her to hospital? my mum has phoned nhs hotlines and the gps countless times. thank you so much for reading. | worried my gran is dying and we don’t know why or how to help her | gnym5f | we can't figure out what's wrong online, but if she has new onset diarrhea and vomiting and hasn't been getting much food or fluid down then dehydration is a real risk and can contribute to delirium. it doesn't sound like this is something that can be managed at home, and i suggest going to the hospital at this point. | askdocs | gnym5f |
i have medical insurance but most therapists don’t accept it and i can’t pay out of pocket. in this situation, what do you recommend? | what do you do when you need counseling but you can’t afford it? | g880bs | community mental health is a good place to look. also , grad students who are supervised by licensed therapists. doctoral level students typically already have a master 's degree and many have lots of experience. | askatherapist | g880bs |
but do you really think that if you could step into someone's shoes and live their miserable fucking life, you would be any bit optimistic and prone to this desire? | it's easy to give advice... | ayp8ob | it is often harder to follow advice than to give it, i agree. expressing your anger can be a first step towards accepting you might need advice. i am often angry with people who give me advice or feedback. it helps me to maintain my self-esteem on the short run. i have learned that my self-esteem improved by trying to apply some of the advice i was given. it increased my flexibility. | suicidewatch | ayp8ob |
30/m. i might be starting 2019 off with my first anti-depressant. my gp has suggested escitalopram based on my symptoms. over the past 3-4 months (out of no where) i have experienced a few panic attacks and very high baseline anxiety. i also experienced mid-level depression that has fluctuated to periods of major depression. essentially i've begun to get anxious in normal situations (talking to co-workers) and have experienced a strong diminishment in enjoyment of normal activities (my job, sports, etc). i believe that multiple life events in a short timeframe have created this situation (marriage, new home, new job - within a 12 month period). i'm looking for any experiences that high-functioning individuals have had on this anti-depressant. what i mean by "high-functioning" are just people that are actually working full-time jobs, have a supportive family, have friends and interests outside of work, are eating correctly, are working out and taking care of their bodies, are not abusing drugs, etc. as the research i have done suggests that ssris work significantly better for those in a high-functioning state (but experiencing a depressed/anxious disorder). please comment on what escitalopram has done for you. specifically looking for comments on: * anxiety * depression * motivation * focus * happiness * extraversion | positive escitalopram (cipralex/lexapro) experiences for high-functioning individuals | abkbtu | i have plenty of high-functioning patients who take lexapro for depression or anxiety. they do all the things you list (to the extent that anyone does) and lexapro seems helpful. but this is the sub for asking docs, not patients. you could try r/depression among others, but this is not the right place for your question. regardless, good luck and hopefully a happier and less anxious new year. | askdocs | abkbtu |
me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 months, going on six, she keeps tagging me in posts on fb, saying how much she loves me etc, but doesn't tell me what she's doing, said this today: "i'm a little busy right now, got someone coming round so i'll talk to you later xxxx" turns out a male friend of hers, i don't mind that, but the not being able to tell me that, concerns me, am i wasting my time? i'm also in pain today and when i tell her about it, she doesn't seem concerned, i'm on the verge of tears and i don't know what to do. | are [m]e and my long distance g[f] working out? | 6baqk1 | yes, you're wasting your time i'm afraid | relationship_advice | 6baqk1 |
at the end of last year i (25) was dating a girl (22)for 4 months. we were never officially in a relationship. i was worried about starting a relationship with her or getting too close to her because i thought that i was going to move away from the city that we were living in. last january we decided that it wasn't going anywhere and we ended it although we're still good friends. i ended up staying in the city that we live in. i've dated some other girls since then but none of them were as great she was. i often think that it was a big mistake letting her go because she's beautiful and kind and smart. we've been speaking a bit more lately and i asked her if she'd like to meet up sometime so that we can catch up. i think that i'd like to give it another try with her. i dunno what she's thinking or why she agreed. am i making a mistake? my friend told me that if i go back to her then it'll be like i'm settling only because i didn't find anyone who i clicked with more. | getting back with an ex | 6tzz8c | seems like you liked her a lot and you may be more ready this time around. explore it! | relationship_advice | 6tzz8c |
good evening, reddit! casual lurker coming out of the shadows for this one. i recently started to manage a venue that has a ready-made community, and my boss is someone well-known within the community, as is the person who is fixated on her. this person is known for being unpredictable. clearly she is not well. she is not only grieving a major loss, but seems to be experiencing many symptoms of dementia. she does not know my boss personally, but has barraged her with messages on facebook, emails, and, now that she has found the phone number, phone calls. she attempted to enter a sold-out event without a ticket, thinking she had purchased one (though she had not), and became so frustrated, she assaulted our security guards. we ultimately called the police, who took her to the hospital. the following week, she did purchase a ticket, and returned, and i informed her she was no longer welcome after the previous week's events. she was more docile, apologetic, not in touch with reality and clearly set on the outcome that she get to talk to my boss. i listened to her empathetically for 30 minutes (our plan had been to call the police if she returned, but i made the call that this would not be necessary that night), accepted her apology, but stood firm: she could not come in and that was not going to change. she has continued to harass my employer digitally. these are clearly the warning signs of a "fixated person" and i get the feeling we're not giving her enough credit for the damage she could do: to herself, to my employer, to our guests and to our business. my boss is hesitant to start the process for filing a restraining order, and i can't stand outside with her, blocking the door, whenever she makes an appearance. i am unsure what the next steps we should take to resolve this problem. is it possible to mitigate what i think is a very real threat, here, using some ninja conversational techniques and boundary-setting rather than calling the authorities? can anyone refer me to some good literature on addressing this sort of thing? love, b | how to deal with a fixated person frequenting my venue? | ado5e8 | she sounds like a stalker. it's highly likely she's got some other stuff going on, too. is it dementia? ummm, i don't know, but 56 is a little young. it could be early onset, but from what you described about her behavior/presentation, it doesn't quite fit for me. i could be wrong. it sounds like she could be psychotic. can you tell if she has been drinking or using drugs? substances could be contributing to her psychosis or exacerbating previously existing pathology. this woman needs to be hospitalized and actually stabilized on meds before she's released. she's likely going to end up getting herself into legal trouble, and hurting herself or someone else. it's easy to see why your boss (and other people) may be hesitant to initiate a stay-away/protection/restraining order. people feel bad, she's sick and she needs help. i don't think many people consider that the best interests of the person in need may involve doing something that feels unpleasant. at the end of the day, your boss needs to weigh the pros and cons. if this woman is truly as sick as she sounds, there are no conversational techniques that will work. i can find literature about stalking, but i'm not sure how much it will help. let me know. | mentalhealth | ado5e8 |
i don't know. i feel so empty all the time. i am incapable of distinguishing between my emotions. i just can't. i don't know if i'm feeling happiness, or sorrow. the only thing i know is my rage. it boils up like lava, filling me like a drug. once i feel it, i want to hurt what ever angered me, even if it's completely irrational. for example, once i got annoyed by my older sister. my anger filled me, and i just wanted her to hurt. i ended up scratching her hard enough for it to scab over. she would occasionally show it to me. i guess it was to make me feel guilty. i guess i was wrong to get physical, but i felt... nothing. i felt that terrible emptiness everytime she showed me. i said sorry, but i didn't mean it. and for so long, my mood could swing so quickly. i could be smiling at one moment, and then one tiny insignificant thing could enrage me the next. and i can switch between the personality masks i made for myself so fast. usually, i pretend to be this bright, happy-go lucky girl. but i'm so tired of pretending to be happy. hell, i felt so bloated after eating dinner that i went into the bathroom, inserted two fingers into my mouth, and debated if i should purge myself, and likely give myself bulimia as well. i ended up not, as i decided i just didn't care. every time i feel like i may feel something other than anger, it slips away. my friend told me that i may be bipolar, but i would like to hear other people's opinions. it may be genetic, as my oldest sister (not the one i scratched) behaves similarly. she could be happy and laughing one moment, then screaming and cussing the other. i made this account today, so excuse any poor formatting. | is there something wrong with me | egmf08 | doesn't sound like bipolar. have you ever heard of alexithymia? give it a google and see if it resonates with you. | mentalhealth | egmf08 |
i'm 12 (m) and i have very few friends i am bored alot. i feel like i'm very passionate, just not passionate about anything, does that make sense? i dont know what to do with my life. the only thing i'm really passionate about is animals/pets. but my parents are in the way, they won't let me get anymore than what i have now (hamster and 3 aquariums). but they're one of my biggest sources of happiness. i spend all my time gaming or watching youtube and i hate it. my pets also give me alot of stress, both directly and indirectly. i never feel like i'm doing enough. i'm good in school so i dont feel *forced* to study, i just cant study i almost get panicky. and i just cant do it, but i have nothing else to do. i would love some advice to help me know what to do with myself, i'm just lost edit: i'm sorry of this doesn't fit the subreddit, i think i just needed to vent edit: i dont **want** to be popular or want to be friends with the popular kids, i just put it in si that you wouldn't say "just hang out with friends" | i feel lost | fl8sqq | are there any clubs or extracurricular activities you would be willing to try at school? or outside of school, if your parents would be willing to sign you up? clubs and other activites are a great way to make friends, have fun, and give you something to work towards and improve on. for example, i joined band in middle school and got to learn an instrument, met a ton of friends over the years in high school and college, got to travel for football games, and it motivated me to practice and work hard to improve my musical skills. it also helped me feel good about myself because the more i practiced the more i saw myself improve and it taught me that working hard at something can pay off. there's also things like theatre, academic teams, learning a language, sports, martial arts, dance, book clubs, who knows what else. if your school doesn't have clubs or teams you're interested in, check out what's going on at your local library, often the local government offers some activities for young people to get involved in. you won't know if you'll like something until you try it! you're still young, so you can always change your mind and try something else if it's not your thing. | advice | fl8sqq |
so i emailed my therapist that i was thinking about suicide. her response was that i should go back to my old therapist, and to give me a crisis number. i then responded that i was going to kill myself. she never responded. i thought she'd call 911. is this grounds to get her license revoked? | should my therapist lose her license? | f5e0ew | probably not grounds to get her license revoked, but depending on the circumstances, could possibly be grounds for a complaint and disciplinary action. if this is a dbt treatment or you had a safety contract, or you have told her this before, giving you the crisis line number is sufficient. in my state , i am not required to call 911 for this . different licenses have different rules. you can check your state board to see exactly what her rules are. if you filed a complaint, she could simply point out that you are alive , and she gave you a resource. she could also argue that calling 911 could have created more problems for you - police storming into your home, a possibly unnecessary psychiatric hold, being taken to the hospital in a police car. many people find these circumstances much more traumatic than calling a line equipped to make a safe plan. of course , calling 911 is the right call sometimes. there are times it is necessary and the only right choice . it should still be taken very seriously to avoid harm. this is a recent story about a woman who died after 911 was called to respond to a mental health crisis: WEBLINK | askatherapist | f5e0ew |
i stopped being friends with a close friend a few months ago because i couldn't stand another lie to be told to me again. i couldn't stand to watch her throw her life away no matter how many times she was told she needs to do something for herself. took her to get psychiatric help and everything but she's content with getting high and getting in trouble and having sex is a good enough lifestyle. on top of that, she is a habitual liar. that last lie she told me was the one where i realized i need to stop being naive and i can't help her and i don't want to help her because she's disrespecting me. so 2 weeks ago, she messaged me boyfriend saying that she would like to try to be friends with me again. he never told me this, but they kept conversing about god knows what. but i asked him why they were back to being friends on facebook again and then that's when he told me she talked to him. well i told him i didn't want anything to do with her. and he got mad at me for holding a grudge and giving up on helping her. you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped there comes a certain point that you've helped so much in so many different ways that you gotta give up at some point, and i should have given up sooner for my sake. he thinks i am silly and stupid for the way i'm reacting. and i kinda do too not gonna lie but my feelings are feelings that won't go away someone that loves me wants to hurt me in order to help the person that caused that pain on the person they love. i messaged her and i told her to stop messaging my boyfriend because no matter what you tell him, it won't change how i feel. (not like he even is showing me the conversations between them) it ended with he can be her friend on facebook but if they were talking on messenger just the two of them, that would hurt me and i would have to bring it up again. i know they have talked since i said that but i haven't said anything.... it's a real complicated mess and the only sides i see are my side (which i'm trying hard af to see the logical side to his side but failing), his side (he thinks my side is just over dramatic and silly) and then my mom and grandma that are like he's disrespecting you and we can explain our first hand accounts of this woman being a liar and a manipulator it wasn't ugly at first. i just politely told him i would appreciate it if he didn't talk to her because of her and is past..... and he was having none of that | i [20f] need help looking through my boyfriends [20m] eyes on a certain subject we have been arguing about for days. | 5q0r3f | i think you're totally right on this. some people insist on tying themselves to the mast of a sinking ship, and want you to hold their hand all the way down. at a certain point, the water rises and rises, and now it's up to your chin, and this 'friend' wants you to keep holding on! you swam to shore. good for you. | relationship_advice | 5q0r3f |
i am seeing a man who is poly. i am not, not really interested. i am ok with him being poly, his wife is on board (she has a boyfriend of 3 years who is mono). questions: are there things i should be aware of? any red flags that i should look out for? i have never been in this type of relationship before. we have been seeing each other for a few months at a slow pace. is a slow pace normal? thanks! | poly relationship with [32m], i [27f] is monogamous and not sure what to do and what to look out for | 6zlcu2 | just be open and honest with each other. | relationship_advice | 6zlcu2 |
so i go to this place(let's just say place) once or twice a week and i see this guy there about once a week. i, a guy, had a little crush on him. it's good to note that i'm in my 20s, he's ~6 years older than me and i am in no way shape or form out, to anyone. when i found out he likes women my little crush subsided a bit. not completely though. but a few stuff makes me pretty sure he's not bi either. just wondering what his thoughts on gay people are. recently found out he goes to church but unsure "how religious" he is. could be partially to meet people and practice the language. i'm a loner. introvert. what-have-you. * a person who is or prefers to be alone, especially one who avoids the company of others * the type of guy who dosen't have good social skills, no confidence and jealous traits. * known as 'the boring guy', the 'friendless' guy, the invisible man after a few weeks of seeing him every now and then, he gave me his number and told me to call him if i wanted to do something. like go swimming. i was anxious for days but ended up texting him. he had other plans. i was a bit proud of myself for actually texting and relieved i didn't "have to" hang out with someone. i'm the kind of person that just waits for things to happen to me. i follow the flow. because i'm socially anxious and depressed i have no ambitions or future plans or aspirations or anything. i just wait for things to happen. i don't initiate. note i don't really like this about myself but yah. next time i met him we talked, he bought us both an icecream each, and suggested swimming again. when in the moment like that i feel like i should say yes, that it's probably "good/better" to actually socialise with someone. so i said yes. we've gone swimming two days in a row now. and afterwards we go pick some berries. it's been ok. i've felt dumb cus i didn't know the answer to some things. i felt boring and awkward because i didn't have a reply for most things. like talk about cars and i'm like uh yeah. mhm. i don't know how he's not bored of me. but he asked if i wanted to go swimming again. if he asks a question like a or b? i just don't know. you choose. "you wanna keep swimming or should we get out?" uh sure let's get out. : |. i'm just.. following along.. even though it's been nice i guess, i kinda feel like.. i'm waiting for it to be over. waiting for me to go home. at the same time i enjoy his company? it feels wrong.. to feel like this. like.. this isn't how normal people are supposed to feel. like i was slightly bored when we were picking berries. and it's like ahh i'm alone nice. that's kinda nice. but i'm bored a little. i'm a walking indecisive contradicting blob. at least the biking and swimming is some exercise. i could lose some weight. | managed to befriend someone(?) but when we hang out a part of me is just waiting until it's over / friendship as a loner | 4tztwl | well, the socialization is nice and good for you finding the courage to ask for it. i think part of the reason you are feeling board is because you are being quite passive and not suggesting that the two of you do some other activities that you'd personally enjoy more. just because you 'go with the flow' doesn't mean that you enjoy the flow every time. take the risk to suggest something different that you'd like and see what happens. what is there to lose really? also, consider spacing out your contacts more so that you guys don't overexpose on each other. good luck. | socialanxiety | 4tztwl |
my dermatologist keeps recommending it. he wants me to use the men’s rogaine foam once a day. i just don’t know how i feel about the price of it. | has anyone had any luck with rogaine? | bfkdce | costco has a generic brand with the same active ingredient and the 6 month package costs less than one of rogaine. | pcos | bfkdce |
i somehow landed on these two subreddits:/r/problemgambling /r/foodaddiction. after reading a few links i could not help but think these are just the silliest addictions. i take that thought back. sometimes i am very cynical about peoples problems because i think they are vain and idotic, but at a meeting i discovered that this is actually a problem with my thinking. it is being self-centered, that my addiction and severe depression should be recognised by the universe. this week i will work to be less self-centered. i am not general manager of the universe and i will stop acting like i am. | i am cynical and self-centred | 16z7xb | i sometimes find myself judging others and their problems, comparing them to my own, etc. then i remind myself when i see somebody in anguish: though the reasons for their pain and the things that brought them there are different from my own, and doesn't make sense to me, the pain is still real. that's their pain. that's my pain. that's my pet dog's pain. we all experience it at different times and for different reasons, but it always feels the same. | redditorsinrecovery | 16z7xb |
age: 24 sex: male height 6’ weight: 200 lbs race: white duration of complaint: 36 hours roughly location (geographic and on body): left breast area/lung any existing relevant medical issues (if any): asthma current medications (if any): montelukast, azelastine, symbicort, abuderol this showed up sunday afternoon/night but i kinda chalked it up to me driving about 6 hours that day. there’s a constant dull pain in my left chest area. but i can’t take a deep breath now. if i do, i get a sharp pain in my chest. my left arm was also kinda sore and “favored” certain positions. i considered this might be asthma related but now i’m not so sure. | sharp pain in chest when breathing | b8ihs3 | given the fact that you drove 6 hours, pulmonary embolism needs to be ruled out in a hospital. have you been excercising and could it be sore muscles in your thorax? does it hurt when you press on your thorax? any family history of heart disease? do you feel weak, tired, sweaty, out of breath? | askdocs | b8ihs3 |
i’ve always been a fun drunk. but now i’m getting so drunk that i’m crying and suicidal. i don’t know how i got this far, i’m alienating friends/family and waking up to these insane text dumps that aren’t me at all. | i’m losing my shit | futxzm | unfortunately, that is where it eventually leads us in a lot of cases. i know it did for me. i was the fun guy everyone loved to be around at first, but in the end i was a depressed, suicidal, downer who just kept hoping to recapture the days when it was fun, and i was fun. so i kept drinking. it never got better. i may have had a fun time the first day after a relapse or something...maybe; but after that it was sure to be nothing but misery. i’ve learned that i will never be able to recapture those moments when it was fun and carefree no matter how much i try to convince myself i can. | alcoholism | futxzm |
i’m a girl and i always crave physical violence. i used to cut when i was younger, and now i want my boyfriend to slap me in the face or even punch me. i like when he rough houses me, and it’s mainly during sex and i like when he slaps me out of nowhere. i hang out with another guy friend sometimes who i know will slap me too. normal...? | like to be hit? | 8alwzv | doesn't sound like it's coming from a place of comfort or seeking comfort as much as something like cutting. | bpd | 8alwzv |
everywhere i look it’s another meme, post, or t-shirt that is supposed to be cute or funny about drinking, being drunk or having a drinking problem. i’m so confused as to why it’s being shoved down our throats constantly. is alcoholism cute and funny?! it’s really sad to me and it’s no wonder so many of us have a problem. so many people die because of alcohol. alcoholism, making impaired decisions, drunk driving, etc. it isn’t funny. | anyone else sick of how drinking is portrayed in american culture? | 8uzp2d | ireland ... you guessed it... bad too. today we were in a restaurant where neither my husband or i had an alchoholic drink. when the bill came it was on a small tray under 6 wine bottle corks for effect.i found that weird. i know the restaurant is really into its wine but it seemed out of place and trying too hard ! | stopdrinking | 8uzp2d |
hey guys (and gals)..have a question here but i need to provide some background to give it context i think. i'll try to keep it as short as i can. ​ i am 2 years clean from all prescribed meds (opiates, benzos, the occasional adderall) as well as alcohol and illicit narcotics of all shapes and sizes (the true crunch came with the dope and the pain pills but all drugs were welcome). i am 44 years old and started using when i was 12. it was a long run. lots of od's and finding others od'd...i just didn't die was all. most others weren't as fortunate. ​ i currently work in the construction field, specifically setting stone and marble and tile. i still need to get my driver's license straightened out from a dui in 2001...long story...stuck my head in the sand on that one and now it is nearly impossible to get corrected. ​ i have come to the conclusion that my current job is going to lead me back out...for all sorts of reasons. i also have come to feel that perhaps my future (the good possible future) my lay in recovery-related work. i simply don't know where to start. the only time i have even discussed this with anyone was around 60 days into my 28 day inpatient rehab, one of the staff told me i was being treated more like staff than patient at that point and that i should consider this as a job. he also insisted i never think of it as a 'calling' and that it is just a 'job'. i believe his logic was you can have some distance from the people you are working with and not get so attached to them, and let down when they go back out and die. he was my temporary sponsor for a time. he also was not a happy man and succumbed to his depression shortly after i left the facility and is no longer with us. ​ several others i was in the rehab with are also gone now...plus all the people i used to run with when i was active in my addiction. an alarmingly high percent actually. ​ like..everyone. ​ i cannot shake this feeling of impending doom. i always have had constant anxiety but this is something different. it is an incredible pressure that i am running out of time and i need to engage in recovery and with others full time, all the time. helping myself and thereby helping others. it feels like a debt that i owe and must pay..like..now. i feel i have a lot to offer, though i don't claim to know everything. not by a long shot. ​ where to start seeking employment in the recovery field? what degrees are worth pursuing? certificates? any input is deeply appreciated, i just don't know where to start. thanks! | work in the recovery field? | c9ik9n | there's a growing recognition of the value of, and need for, peer support specialists (basically people who are in recovery themselves who have been given some basic training and are certified to mentor people in treatment or early recovery). i would suggest looking into that and/or into certified alcohol & drug counselor (should be called something like this). couple things to be aware of: - you are almost guaranteed to take a pay cut, possibly a substantial one. peer specialists/cadcs in my area make about $14 an hour, and i live in a higher cost of living area, so you will be looking at something just above minimum wage, most likely - you will be in a position that demands you have very healthy boundaries, and you will most likely be given little to no formal training on how to navigate this issue - some people find this type of work greatly adds to their recovery, while others find it detracts from it - constant self care is an absolute must good luck! | redditorsinrecovery | c9ik9n |
i'm 21 years old, didn't eat anything besides what i usually do and haven't had drugs or alcohol. going on 9 hours now, i have been vomiting regularly. i've vomited around 16 times. it is all bile now it seems like, and the only thing i've even temporarily been able to keep down is water, but i end up throwing it up after a half hour or so usually. there is no blood, but i do have some stomach pain- though i think the pain is a soreness simply from throwing up so much. i just don't know. i never throw up. this is by far the most i've ever thrown up, and the second most would have been twice in one day when i was a toddler probably. i don't know if this is normal when you get really sick but i am feeling stiff and achey and awful and i can't seem to stop throwing up. i don't know what to do about it and i don't know if i should go to the emergency room or if that's really over-reacting? i have so little experience with throwing up so maybe i'm just being a baby about it and taking it harder because i'm not use to this. any suggestions on what i should do or how to get better would be much appreciated. | i have been throwing up regularly for the past 8 hours | 5itr9e | it's probably [gastroenteritis](WEBLINK) that will eventually settle, but if you're genuinely struggling to keep any fluids down then seek medical advice. (i'm actually feeling the same, but it was my work night out). | askdocs | 5itr9e |
if you go to a&e for mental health you shouldn't have to wait in the main a&e waiting area. you should be able to go to a quieter, calmer room. last friday i went to a&e because of my intrusive thoughts. i had to wait like 3 hours in a&e before the psychiatrist person came. it was incredibly triggering. a) just because it was a&e and the waiting room was triggering. b) because of the things going on eg. someone having a seizure, and checking someone else was conscious. at one point i had my eyes closed and my fingers in my ears trying to forget i was there and block out all the bad thoughts related to it. i cried a lot. maybe having a separate calmer room would have helped. i might not have heard the noise about the seizure or seen them on the ground and it might have kept things easier for me. | if you go to a&e for mental health | fig9k9 | theres separate assessment rooms in many hospitals but yes theres the challenge of being in the communal waiting area at the start. still - a&e is definitely not the place to get psychiatric care and treatment. gps, cmht duty workers, or crisis teams, are a much more appropriate and more compassionate way to access treatment. however with covid always best to minimise human contact and contact services via telephone first. | mentalhealth | fig9k9 |
hi and thanks for reading. i have insurance that has me go to specific therapists in network. when i spoke to their screener today they told me that i am a lower priority and the next appointment they can get me is late september. i do not make a lot of money and can not afford therapy without insurance but i really need to figure out whats going on with me and find a way to make it better. is there any advice or possible reading someone can suggest to help me out until i am able to see a therapist? thank you in advance for any help you can provide. | i am feeling really down and need to talk to someone. i can't see a therapist until 6 weeks from now. is there anything i can do to help myself in the meantime? | 4y3aef | i would check to see if there are any community mental health clinics in your area. there are some near me that cost $2-55 per visit and the cost depends on income. another alternative could be reading self help books. dr. david burn's feeling good: new mood therapy has sold over a million copies i believe. best of luck! | mentalhealth | 4y3aef |
i rarely travel anywhere alone, but i have to be away for a night in a hotel where i had a pre-paid meal ticket for the bar/restaurant. but as soon as i walked in there i knew i was in a bad place. i hadn't really even thought about any issues with temptation at all before hand. i've been in such a great place lately. but it hit me the second i stepped into the darkness of the bar and saw the tvs and the brass and the stools and the bottles and the glass. it was the whole deal: a bar in a different state. a line of taps. no family accountability. a couple of stragglers i could start up conversations with. and a history of taking full advantages of situations like this.... i needed food, though! so i explained to the woman at the bar that i had a meal card, but that i was in recovery and that i just couldn't stay in there. would she let me take my food to go? she set me up and got me out of there in no time. i mean she was moving! fastest order i have ever received! thanks to all the understanding waitstaff out there and to everyone else who sends good vibes to the rest of us. i am still sober thank goodness. edit: thanks everybody for the encouragement and well wishes. it gets easier but sometimes in cases like this it can just still be really hard. | the hotel bar | dt7e9n | wow, i’m so impressed that you were able to be honest with the staff! i can’t imagine being brave enough to do that. thank you for inspiring me! | stopdrinking | dt7e9n |
my girlfriend [18/f] and i [19/m] go to the same college. last night, she and i where hanging out in her dorm when i got a text from her dad [50/m]. he and i kinda know each other because i stayed at they're house most of last summer, but i wouldn't say he and i close or friends or anything. that being said, he texts me occasionally to ask how she and i are doing and talk about football, so him texting me wasn't out of the ordinary. my girlfriend and i both saw the text pop up on my lockscreen, but i didn't open it because she and i where a bit preoccupied at the time. a little while later i opened the text, and it was a picture of him standing nude in front of a mirror. no caption, no explanation, nothing. needless to say i was sufficiently taken off guard by this, so i quickly deleted the text. when my girlfriend asked me later what the text was about, i told her it was just about football. now i'm not sure what if anything i should do about this. more than likely it was just an accident, but he never texted me saying it was. hes definitely noticed it by now. should i just let it go? should i tell my girlfriend what happened? should i ask her dad if it was just an accident? i'm not sure what to do at this point. to make matters worse we're supposed to go back to her house for the weekend next week, so i don't want to make things weirder than they already will be. | my girlfriends dad [50/m] sent me [19/m] nudes. should i tell my girlfriend [18/f]? | 5ql8jz | i would confront him. tell him in no uncertain terms that if it ever happens again you will call the police and tell his daughter what a scumbag he is. | relationship_advice | 5ql8jz |
sorry for formatting - i am on my phone. i find it extremely difficult to wake up. i only manage to get up on time when i have super important things to get up for; not everyday things like work. i work 9-5, but they are fairly flexible in that if you arrive a bit late (half an hour ish) but work late to do your full 8 hours, then they don't mind. anyway i quite easily laze in bed until about 9 or even later. just not wanting to get up, go through all the hassle of getting ready for work and making the 15 minute cycle. i often feel "half dead" when trying to get up. i don't know how to explain but it's almost physically painful to get out of bed. until it finally dawns on me quite how late i am going to be and i get up and rush around. more and more i am regularly arriving at work at like 10 o'clock. i get the occasional day where i seem to be able to wake up for some reason and get ready on time - but they are the exceptions. it's getting worse and i am worried i am going to get into trouble again. i was put on a time sheet 2 years ago for being regularly late. i managed to get myself on track for a good while. it may sound silly but the main reason for it was to spend time in the mornings at work with a guy i liked (who always gets to work early). do you guys sleep late with adhd? or (like my doctor said at my assessment) "if you had adhd you would struggle to sleep at all, so you wouldn't be able to lay in bed all morning" i'm confused. i think adhd is part of the reason i don't rush to get ready until i freak out at how late i am. i also think that because i don't get to sleep until late that i am more likely to oversleep. tldr; does adhd make you sleep in late past your alarms? does adhd mean you wake up too early because you can't sleep? | do you struggle to wake up? | 40eiqz | yep, it's totally an adhd thing. i vastly struggle with sleep issues--it's not uncommon for me to feel more energized at night and physically exhausted in the morning. iirc it's called delayed sleep phase syndrome. in the us it's classified as a circadian rhythm disorder that's highly correlated with adhd. | adhd | 40eiqz |
we will shortly be rolling out an updated set of rules for the subreddit. the most significant change for most people will be a requirement that any response to the initial post be from a verified user, i.e. a medical professional of some sort. anyone will be able to respond to comments in response to the first post, including the automoderator's default post. the intent of this rule is to cut down on the amount of bad advice given before posters with medical expertise get a chance to weigh in. | new rule: only verified users may respond to initial posts | cuhvjv | **getting verified** if you are a medical professional who wishes to become a verified contributor to this subreddit, please [message the moderators](WEBLINK) with a picture of your medical id, student id, diploma, or other form of verification via imgur.com link. please block out personal information, such as your name and picture. we do not accept digital forms of identification. instead, please take a picture of the physical copy of verification **along with reddit user id.** | askdocs | cuhvjv |
i started dating a girl, the hangup is that she is way more social than me. don't get me wrong, i like to be outside doing stuff and all, but i don't really have anyone to hang out with. i moved hear a year ago during the middle of my senior year. all my friends i made in those couple months went off to university, or we all just stopped talking. now the only opportunity i have had to meet people is through my community college, and this is where i met my gf. the issue is that she is always hanging out. i don't mind her hanging out, it just makes me feel somewhat like a loser. i really don't know what to do, or how to deal with this? any advice? | girlfriend is way more social than me? | 68k2wn | when there's a discrepancy you just have to let each other be who you are and not force it. you don't have to be joined at the hip | relationship_advice | 68k2wn |
hello. i am a 22 years old girl and i have this problem. i'm wondering if it's normal, i may be overreacting. for the past few days, i have had the feeling of my wrist tightening (painless), and then it's followed by uncontrollable muscle twitches/movements in my right hand. it is completely painless, but it scared the hell out of me when it first happened. it's like my hand is moving on its own, it looks and feels really creepy. the whole sensation doesn't last for more than 20 seconds, but it happens every hour or so. muscle twitches and uncontrollable movements aren't the stranger to me - i sometimes feel some random muscle movements, most usually in my legs. they don't happen that often, maybe once in three days. they are painless too. i'd never paid much attention to that, until this thing with my wrist and hand. i have read it might be epilepsy, but i have never been diagnozed with epilepsy and it doesn't run in my family. i was also brain scanned for epilepsy when i was 1, and i've heard it"s a life long condition, though i'm not sure it's true. i don't have memory problems after the twitching and moving. i am wondering if this might be something serious. thanks! | tightening sensation in my wrist followed by uncontrollable hand movements | 4z0dy7 | is it the whole hand that twitches or certain fingers? | askdocs | 4z0dy7 |
i take 0.5 mg of klonopin, 300 mg of wellbutrin, and 60 mg of cymbalta. my memory is shit and it is affecting my job performance, my doctorate-level school performance, and is causing additional anxiety. are there any drugs i can research that will have a lesser affect on memory? or ones that counteract the memory problems of my current mess? i can’t live with paralyzing anxiety but i can’t thrive if i can’t remember anything. monday i have a memory test with an md to see if it is organic (probably not). i was told to go back to my prescriber but she is a nurse practitioner and i’ve been telling her i’ve had memory problems for years. this came to a head when i spent a week in denver and did some really boneheaded things like losing half my shit on various occasions because of forgetfulness. i thought it was altitude sickness but was told that doesn’t happen at denver elevations. thank you. just looking to proactively try to help myself while i wait for appointments. | can you help with memory impairment possibly due to anxiety and/or side effects of anxiety & depression medications? | 8ef262 | cognitive problems can be due to depression or anxiety. i can't say i've encountered them from antidepressants, but i also can't say it could never happen. of what you're taking, klonopin is the most likely to cause problems with thinking due to its sedative effect. | askdocs | 8ef262 |
i hate how difficult it is to get a therapy appointment. you are asking for help and they say “well there’s a waitlist for that” and then it is weeks and weeks until you can get a session. mental health is so screwed up and needs to be looked at differently and with more respect. end rant. | trying to get into therapy is too difficult | d0ljy6 | hello! therapist here. sorry you've had some trouble getting an appointment. i've helped clients in my area find alternative services when i am unavailable or full for a couple weeks. it happens. here's some other ideas that you may not have thought of when seeking out services: * if you have any local universities or colleges that have graduate degrees in mental health counseling or psychology, give them a call and see if any of them offer community services. sometimes they staff counseling students that will see people low-cost/free of charge and with good availability. * contact your local behavioral health facility and see if they have any connections (if they don't themselves offer outpatient services with decent availability) to other places they refer clients to when they are booked for weeks. * if you plan on using insurance, look on your local insurance website and expand your search to see if you can find other clinicians in your (general) area who take your insurance. * if you haven't already, check out these sites: [WEBLINK](WEBLINK)/us and and [WEBLINK](WEBLINK) . these are catalogs of clinicians who practice in your area. don't forget to look at nearby zipcodes besides your own, if it's feasible for you to travel there. * if you have a local nami (national alliance on mental illness) chapter, give them a call and see if they offer services on an as-needed basis until you can get in with a counselor, or if they have people/places they refer to with better availability. * have you considered tele-psych? it may not be as effective as an in-office visit, but you can utilize those services until you are able to get an in-office visit. you can use the usual online counseling sites (your mileage will heavily vary) but you can also look for counseling offices within your state that offer online counseling services. that gives you a bit more leeway in terms of who you can see, especially if you are in a more rural area. those are just some ideas. give 'em a try and keep looking! what i usually tell my clients is to schedule with someone a few weeks out and then in the meantime see if you are able to secure something sooner, either due to a cancellation with the provider you scheduled with or an alternative provider. | mentalhealth | d0ljy6 |
do you guys find yourself going through your 'mental arguments' between 6pm and 9pm the most? i can go all day without thinking about it but when 6pm comes around... oh a drink that inevitably turns into 8 would be nice. i also found if i can will myself to hold out until 9pm or so, i'm in the clear. 38 more min left. | the window between 6pm and 9pm. | 9esncr | oh yes..... it gets easier. i have 3 young kids, and often felt so exhausted/fed up after getting them settled that a drink seemed like the only solution. i'm now working on building a nice routine for this time....books, food, netflix. it takes more effort but it helps. good luck. | stopdrinking | 9esncr |
we don’t have the best life, there’s a gap between him and his schoolmates but i’m not sure how significant it is. he’s becoming dependent and materialistic and will do almost anything for attention. most kids in his class can barely tolerate him (he’s generally provocative, even i can’t tolerate it sometimes), as a result he hasn’t formed any close friends. he constantly chases after people’s attention even if they treat him badly because of it, and won’t listen to any advice. the list goes on, but generally speaking, what do you do if you’re child is just, desperate for lack of a better word. | i can see my 11 year old developing negative traits as he grows up, what can i do to stop this? | ed89g3 | this may come off as harsh, it is not meant to, i have seen this situation time and again in my career. i am not blaming you as a parent, you are doing the best you can for your little guy. i would gently suggest that it would be good for you and he to spend real time together. as you’ve said you really don’t spend time together other than on the way to something. there needs to be some repair and connection between you. putting him in more activities just creates more situations where he’s going to feel like an outcast. your statement in the post about “sometimes i can’t stand him” makes me think that he does know this and he can feel it from you. if your parent doesn’t even like you, it can feel like you’re just useless to everyone on top of the having no friends. he’s seeking attention because he craves connection with you. i’m sure you love him to death, but he cannot distinguish unconditional love from “my parent finds me annoying too.” i know it’s hard when life is so busy, but maybe find some time to do fun things where you can talk and enjoy being together. play games. i would suggest finding a family therapist who will work with both of you not just him. problems are family problems not just the kids problem or defect. i have worked with many families who see their child as a problem and want to just drop him off and have me “fix” them. it unfortunately doesn’t work that way. the family is a system and each part influences each other. an analogy is the dog whisperer, he works with the owners and their dogs because both need to learn new skills to deal with unwanted behaviour (please know that i get kids aren’t dogs but the behaviour mechanism is the same for animals and humans). i hope you are able to connect, enjoy each other, and get things to a better place. 💜 | askatherapist | ed89g3 |
specifically a sex therapist or whatever. i made a post a few days ago about being a pedophile and i really really need a therapist. i haven't been able to bring myself to ask my parents for one for years and now that i want/need to get a *sex* therapist it is so much harder. i feel so isolated and scared and i know i need one but i don't know how to make myself ask for one. please give me advice | how can i ask my parents for a therapist? | fidqan | it's really good that you are taking concrete steps to see a therapist. just a note that if i were making a referral based only on your reddit post history, i would probably refer you to an ocd specialist, not a sex therapist. obviously i only have a tiny piece of the picture based on reddit, but that's something to be aware of as a possibility as well. however, i think it would be great for you to get into the office of any therapist at this point. it sounds like "making the ask" is the scary part but you think your parents will be fine with it. here are a few ways to do things: 1. at school, go to the office and ask them what referral system they have in place. that's where i get most of my teen client referrals-- they go to the school and the school calls the parents to get consent and then the school calls me. your school may or may not have a similar system in place, but if they do, a lot of that process will be taken care of by someone else. 2. send your parents and email or letter saying something like, "i know you are very understanding but it has been hard to work up the courage to talk to you. i have been having feelings of depression and want to schedule an appointment with a therapist. i would like to make the calls to find someone so that i can find someone i know i will like" [and then find someone who you think will be a good fit for your problems]. 3. get another family member or adult to help you out and facilitate the conversation. "i have been feeling really depressed and i know my parents will be understanding if i want to see a therapist, but i have been afraid to ask. will you come with me and help me take the next steps?" 4. if you are in a state where teens can consent to their own medical treatment, just go make an appointment. note that the therapist will probably try to pull in your parents and that if you go through your parents' insurance, it will show up on their bill. | askatherapist | fidqan |
she asked me to stop smoking. it's made me emotionally distant the last 15 years. apparently she's had enough. it's made me unavailable for my kids and quite frankly has been a motivator to avoid my kids and activities with them because i couldn't smoke. now the advent of the vape penn is a game changer. now i can get high anywhere anytime. i just want to be done with this and not let it have control over me. the endless money and time i've invested into this stupid plant is amazing. my goal is to not smoke today. not sure i'm gonna make it. hard to think i can continue and start a new life "high". it was cool and fun early in life but now i'm a washed up slightly over weight soon to be divorced fuck...something has to change. while i have no plans to date or anything like that it just seems like smoking weed won't fit in with most stable women. | wife finally leaving me | 3tosro | have you ever been to therapy? part of what makes weed so psychologically addicting to the people that have a hard time quitting is self medication, for anxiety or depression or even physical pain or discomfort. if you are avoiding life your kids and wife, it's most likely mental illness at play more so than smoking weed... smoking weed is/can be a symptom of a larger issue. sorry that this happened but seek some new help and get yourself good man. quitting all substance use is a great first step but try to seek therapy to support that and find out what drives this. maybe your wife will appreciate your sentiment too that you are going to therapy to better yourself, and will give you a chance. i'm a little biased here because i am a therapist but you should still go. | leaves | 3tosro |
age 24 sex f height 5’ weight 100lb race white duration of complaint n/a location (geographic and on body) new england, usa any existing relevant medical issues (if any) anxiety current medications (if any) zoloft (see below) after careful consideration and discussion with my doctor i have decided to taper off of zoloft. i have been on 100 mg daily since i was 14. i tapered from 100 to 75 and 75 to 25 by just switching from one dose to the next and then waiting about a month before taking the next step down. i had no discontinuation symptoms whatsoever during this stage. for the jump from 25 to 0 by doctor gave me a somewhat convoluted schedule where she wants me to take it every other day for two weeks then every three days for a week and then for some reason wait two days and then take one last pill. i’ve done quite a bit of research online and spoken to people i know who have tapered off of ssris and i haven’t seen any evidence for a tapering schedule like this. it feels to me like i’m just messing my brain up by taking the medicine away and reintroducing it and then taking it away again over and over again. a week in and i’m starting to have discontinuation symptoms- dizziness, brain zaps, and headaches. anyways, my question is does anyone know if there is actually reason behind tapering this way? is there proper research and evidence for this? should i get a second opinion? | is this a normal taper schedule for zoloft? | bl4w43 | there isn't much in the way of good data for ssri tapers, period. zoloft isn't entirely out of your system after one or two days, so there's some reasoning behind taking it on alternate days, but why not take 12.5 mg instead? if you really want a slower taper, you could use the liquid form and decrease by as little as you want at any interval. you could get a second opinion and find someone who would encourage doing it differently, but again, there's not a lot of strong evidence. you'd find people to say that it's best to do it slower. you'd also find doctors who would (wrongly, in my opinion) say that it should just be a few days and done. | askdocs | bl4w43 |
throwaway account for obv reasons i’m 15, suffer from body dysmorphia and it’s been eating me up from the inside for months. i can’t stand the way i look. i don’t own any full body mirrors because 75% of the time i look in them all i see is the fat girl. i used to weigh around 125 and i’ve dropped to 119 lbs, i’m 5’2 and no matter how much i weigh i just look chubby and unattractive. i dont want to sound narcissistic but i cant stop thinking about my body, wherever i go i can feel people judging me and i just feel like shit. i went through a phase where i dieted extremely and i really don’t want to do it again, i know my parents worry about me a lot and i hate seeing them get upset because i can’t see myself the way other people do. i hate my hips and my thighs and my knees and everything and i just wish i could look like my friends, they all have bodies like models, and then there’s me. sometimes i look in the mirror and think i don’t look that bad. but you can bet soon enough i’ll be wanting to die again because my thighs touch or because my hips are too wide or because i’m so short. i’ve been encouraged to talk about my feelings with other people and compliment myself, talking to people i trust helps i guess but i can’t bring myself to find anything nice about my body. i fake being confident so people might like me but i’m too insecure and constantly feel disgusted. it feels pretty pathetic to come on reddit and ask for advice tbh because i don’t have anyone around me who relates to my situation. i just want help on how i can have a better self image. i do some exercise every day, i’ve been doing it for maybe like a month. i do things i enjoy and wear clothes i like. i actually have a lot of friends, and they really do make life happier. i still cant bring myself to accept my body. i’m not overweight, i know i have a healthy bmi. i wear a uk size 6 (us size 4?) but i feel so out of proportion, so wide and ugly and the thought of it all makes me sick. all i want is to really love myself and feel comfortable and not hate it anymore. tl;dr: 15, hate my body, need advice for self-help and how i can start seeing myself differently | i’m 15, my body dysmorphia makes me feel repulsed by my body. i dont know what to do | 7v0rb0 | oh sweetheart. i know your pain. i have struggled with an eating disorder for 20 years, and it started at your age, with similar struggles. the bad news is, you may be on a similar path. the good news is, the earlier you catch it, the better your chances for beating it before you go down that road. get a therapist. let your parents pay for a really good one who specializes in these things. they will save themselves, and more importantly you, from years of heartache. pm me if you have questions or just need to vent. | mentalhealth | 7v0rb0 |
i probably just might overthink this but we will see... so theres this girl i saw at a party this weekend. we didn’t talk at all or maybe just a little bit during the night but looks like she added me on fb a couple days later. it appears that we have another party in 2 weeks and shes gonna be there as well. do you guys think thats her way to tell me shes interested? | a girl added me on fb the day after a party | bbanrm | maybe, maybe not. i wouldn't bet on it. most people just tend to add folks once they've met with no ulterior motives. i'd say if she started messaging you before you initiate any contact then there's a much higher likelihood, but until then, i wouldn't read much into it. | socialskills | bbanrm |
i met him online just about one year ago. during the last one year, he has chatted with me almost every day. or at least 90 percent of the days of the last one year. overall, he has spent more time with me online than anyone ever. as a partially disabled person, i am always lonely due to one reason or another, and having him with me has given me a lot of hope and positivity in my life. mostly we just chatted. we are both gay or bisexual adult guys, so we had some shared interests there. i found him very entertaining, whereas he found me nice, or cute as he would call me. we shared our closest kept secrets over the year. i know his first sexual encounter, and he knows mine. i also remember his memorable line "i love myself, but my problem is no one loves me", which was so adorable, because he is so loveable, and i can't imagine why he would say no one loves him. i guess it really is hard being gay, especially bottom, in mexico, where he is from. so many times he has said that he wants me with him, but i will never know how real his sentiments are, because none of us have the money to visit each other. the kicker is, that he is too shy to even come on cam with me. we only just chatted by typing on skype with each other. i haven't even seen his eyes. he says he is too shy of me. again, i don't know how real that answer is, but i like to take him at his word. i have seen him at least once on cam, but that was just when we met online. so i know he is who he says he is: a gay guy of his age. the last few days, he has reduced coming online. maybe due to exams? he says he has homework, or because he does not have access to internet that much. in any case, i feel that either of us may start to lose interest in each other, which may kill the relationship. i called him my friend, but of course the friendship is neither totally platonic ( seeing we both find each other attractive physically), nor is it totally romantic (seeing how we never do anything sexy with each other). it's just one of those things, two guys thrown together due to lot of time to kill online. nothing lasts forever. he will have to go to his classes or college, or job, or whenever, and won't have as much time as he used to have. we will reduce chatting, and slowly we will only say hi once a month. i know it will suck, but i had a lot of good times with him. i loved every moment when he was online, and sent me his messages, each of which i will cherish as a love message. i know he liked me. though tomorrow, he will stop liking me that much, or will have other priorities, i will remember that he liked me as a friend and more at one time. they are part of my sweetest memories. maybe i too need to move on from here, and need to spend less time online, and get on with my real life. i will try. | my best friend online has reduced coming online the last few days, and i miss him. | 1futfm | "people come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime. when you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person. when someone is in your life for a reason it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. they have come to assist you through a difficulty. to provide you with guidance and support. to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. they may seem like they are a godsend, and they are. they are there for the reason you need them to be. then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. sometimes they die. sometimes they walk away. sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. what we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled. their work is done. some people come into your life for a season. because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. they bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. they may teach you something you have never done. they usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. believe it, it is real. but only for a season. lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons. things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation. your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. it is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant." hope this helps. | offmychest | 1futfm |
we’ve been getting on great for the past 18 months, even recently talking about moving in together in 4 months when both are leases are up and even naming our first pet and what future plans we want to do together. however about 2 weeks ago we had an argument, in hindsight it was very needy and anxious of me, but i hadn’t seen her much that week and she’d cancelled plans with me twice so on the second time i ended up calling her to express my concerns. she immediately defused it by saying she needed to go to bed, however after about 30 mins i saw her on facebook and the argument continued over there for an hour. i gave her some space and we barely talked over the next few days, she started opening up a bit more and we even made plans. however we went on a little date and she just didn’t seem interested to be there, we talked about the situation and other things but didn’t really come to a conclusion. now over the christmas season she’ll barely talk to me, we didn’t even talk on christmas day and when we do she just replies with short answers and long pauses. i’ve tried giving her space while still remaining in slight contact and it doesn’t seem to be helping the situation. it’s her birthday on new years’ eve and she doesn’t seem interested in doing anything with me or even spending the night together. tl;dr – getting on great with girlfriend, suddenly barely talks or seems interested. | [28m] - girlfriend [25f] of 1.5 years barely communicates to me after argument, even through the holiday season | 5kdfq9 | if she stops talking, that's very immature | relationship_advice | 5kdfq9 |
i've been with my boyfriend for two years, we live together and are actually really happy. kinda like how i've always pictures it. and we have a great sex life very exciting and open and intimate but i keep having this fantasy about being with a girl because i never have. and i don't wanna have a threesome. i wanna experience what it would be like to be with a woman and i think i would like it. how could i ever being this up to my boyfiend? i don't think i could cheat on him. | (confused) wanting to explore my sexuality [f,23] | 6dycgd | you can own your desires by acting on them or not acting on them. if you decide to act on them and you don't want to cheat, you can break up with your boyfriend or ask for his permission. to ask for his permission, you'd have to tell him what you want to do. which would be brave. | relationship_advice | 6dycgd |
i have a group of friends who i spend most of my time with but lately 2 of these friends started making fun of me constantly, always putting me down. there is this small lounge with computers for people to go play there and when we are there they always say im bad at the games and that i should uninstall. i also suffer from epilepsy and they make fun of that aswell. they always tell me that no one likes me and that im not good at anything. they have been doing this for the past 4 months and i think i should get rid of them, but the thing is that i see them everyday especially these 2. any ideas as to what i should do. | need help getting rid of 2 of my friends who always make fun of me. | 4j73os | perhaps try a bit of peer pressure. the other kids in the group might help out if you explained to them how the two others make you feel. if they won't exert some social pressure for you, then perhaps question their friendship as well. keep in mind that they may be intimidated by the two as well, and on some level may be relieved that you're the scapegoat. good luck, sounds like you may just need different friends -- ones that care enough about your feelings to refrain from teasing you, or will stand up for you if others do. | needadvice | 4j73os |
i generally tend to act really reserved and plain. it seems like nothing ever gets a big reaction out of me, its weird because sometimes when i'm browsing here on reddit i will audibly laugh at things i find hilarious. in everyday life the things people talk about just seem boring to me. i want to find a way to spend more time just hanging out with friends. i know enough people from school, but i never really hang out with people a lot, sometimes i feel like i wouldn't know what would be fun to do. usually i'm pretty busy with golf, drivers ed, getting my usual workouts in, but i still feel like i have more time i should be putting into social life, or i could at least use some advice to hit it off with more people come next school year | i'm looking for some advice | uz4sp | well, two options. 1) find people who are interested in the things that you are interested in, and then talk to those people 2) try new things to broaden your horizons. if you have a very limited set of interests, it will be harder to find people who share your interests. but if you are interested in lots of things, then you will have an easier time of finding someone who shares at least one interest with you. | socialskills | uz4sp |
my partner's therapist told her to ask me to come to one of my sessions to talk to my therapist about my mental illness. my so said any time i talk about my bipolar disorder i shut down and so she wanted to speak to my therapist to "unpack it" or some shit. my own opinions aside, this sounds like a therapist shouldn't be giving that advice at all. is this something that is frequently recommended or done? | partner's therapist wants her to come to one of my sessions | e6szsl | >is this something that is frequently recommended or done? a lot of it depends on the circumstances and the framework of the therapist; however, yes. this is frequently recommended and done. | askatherapist | e6szsl |
i guess what im asking is: **how do i find something i like enough to actually stick with/commit? everything seems boring after i totally obsess about it and get to an intermediate level.** then i drop it out of my life because its so under stimulating and boring. its like i figured it out and in my mind its just tedious practice after that which makes me want to rip out my eyeballs. **any solutions? to stick with hobbies relationships careers life goals ?** i'm scared of ending up being old without any expertise at one thing or being passionate about anything. or even having any life goals or accomplishing anything since they always change. (besides all the random obsessions i had that stuck with and im semi good at) fuck edit: its not much of a focus issue per say (unless the boredom feelings start coming in, then i make carless mistakes and it just tanks and i need o force myself to focus (for things that you can't back out of like college classes). | ok, so i'm 100% i have this even if im not diagnosed (as of yet will do). holy shit. how do you guys not get bored of anything and commit to something wether its a hobby, relationship, career, degree and everything else? | airuj7 | for my career i've picked clinical psychology. i've done this because it interests me but also because the are so many things i can do. i can be a private practice psych, do research, specialise in certain therapies, work in prisons, hospitals, rural areas, metropolitan. i could change every six months and not run out of things. also a lot of psychologists work clinically part time and do something else related but different because it's quite taxing emotionally. maybe look at sinethjbg with variety? | adhd | airuj7 |
i am in the midst of deciding to still hold on or to let go. i was dating this guy (25)for almost two years. we work at the same office and go to work together.we been living together for almost 1 year. the relationship was going great till the mother decides to stir things up with my family (my family had no clue i was living with him) and also some other petty issues between mon and son lead yo that.and i have been dealing with pressures from my work and family at the same time.things got worst when i accidentally found out that my bf was lying and cheating behind my back and that shattered every inch of trust i had in him. we started having arguments which resulted in him physically abusing me. fast forward i have been battling depression for months till nov. .my dad fell ill and was in and put of hospital from march 2016 onwards. during this point i lost almost 10 kg in weight due to depression. we moved away from his family home and things got pretty ugly between us. he said no contact for 6 months and that he will me after this 6 months and decide my dad passed away in dec. now i am in the midst of deciding should i just wait for 6 months cause i still love him despite all this or let go and start fresh. | advice needed | 5tkpwu | lots of painful stuff here. i'd suggest finding a therapist/support group. | relationship_advice | 5tkpwu |
i underwent psychological testing last tuesday, primarily for adhd. my current psychiatric nurse practitioner wanted me tested even though he’s been prescribing me vyvanse. i’m very worried about what the testing will show. i’ve been diagnosed multiple times by psychiatrists and therapists but i’ve never had testing done for my adhd. i’m terrified that my results will say that i don’t have adhd and that my np will take me off stimulant meds. i’m not entirely sure what i’m looking for other than reassurance and positive vibes. i find out the results on monday. | had psych testing last tuesday | ajvz7n | even if it comes back saying you don't have it remember you can get another opinion. if you have been diagnosed before and the meds work, chances are you will be fine. if not, ask for another opinion :) if the meds work just explain to the psychiatrist what they do and that they help. hopefully they will see that its important to you to stay on them. | adhd | ajvz7n |
being sober for a few days now has been a painful experience. i used to deal with pain by just getting high, and i'm realizing now how out of touch with my own emotions i am. there are a lot of things in my life i need to deal with. there are a lot of people who i should have kicked out of my life a long time ago. weed made my reality seem ok, when in reality it was far from ok. with all of with these painful emotions bubbling to the surface, i realize how much i have abandoned myself in favour of temporary relief from drugs. i don't ever want to do this to myself again. | sobriety...dealing with buried emotions/traumas. | 4bup1l | one metaphor i heard early on that spoke to me was this one: addiction is like we're driving along in a van and each time we run into something we don't want to deal with - the phone bill we haven't paid yet, this nagging feeling of lonliness, that sense of guilt over using - we throw it into the back of the van. for days, weeks, months, years, we drive around, each time just throwing whatever we think we can't handle into the back. then, we stop using, and it's like we've suddenly slammed on the brakes - all that shit comes flying forward at once. another similar metaphor i got from a therapist i worked with was also helpful: imagine you're driving a bus. all your thoughts, feelings, memories, etc are passengers on the bus. the difficult ones are like troublesome passengers - we don't want to look at them, feel them, remember them, we just want them to go to the back of the bus and stay there. but they keep coming to the front and threatening us, so we do whatever it takes to get them to go away, turn left, turn right, blow through the stop light, etc. except the more we avoid looking them, the scarier they can become. what we need to remember is that *we* are the ones driving, not them. i'm glad to hear your desire not to abandon yourself. the good news is, you don't have to do this alone! there is lots of help available, in here, in various recovery programs, and in the offices of mental health professionals. good luck and don't give up! it will get easier with time. | leaves | 4bup1l |
i already know the answer is probably yes and that i should quit. i've been wanting to quit. i'm pretty sure this is an addiction and not harmless. i feel like things in my life have gotten progressively worse since smoking weed became a daily habit. so, i'm going to try and quit starting now. thanks for any support or similar stories. | could weed be the reason i've been so depressed and unmotivated and tired these past few years? | 8oi7jh | honestly? addiction isn't ever the problem, but a symptom of larger problem. you might be depressed | leaves | 8oi7jh |
they charge something like $100 an hour, every week... that really adds up. how can i justify allowing my family to pay those kinds of fees for me? i don't meant to sound unappreciative, or rude. but i wonder if it's making me feel worse allowing my family to suffer the costs simply because i suffer from mental illnesses? (depression and anxiety... to a very debilitating extent) | how can you keep seeing a psychologist? | sgtf9 | many psychologists offer sliding fees to fit your financial burdens, although as a business- they have to make money. might try seeing a master's level therapist (lpc, msw, etc) - they are just as good and cost less (the only real difference between a psychologist and a counselor is that a psychologist has a degree to to research and can offer more assessments) | depression | sgtf9 |
[nsfw](WEBLINK) [photos](WEBLINK) [related to this post](WEBLINK) • age: 22 • sex: male • height: 183 cm • weight: 60 kg • race: white • duration of complaint: >3 months • location: geographic: france ; body: head, heart, sex • relevant medical issues : rhinitis, several family member have some light hypertension but never had | is this mri contrast agent? | c0y5t4 | gadolinium does not cause skin changes or hypertension. | askdocs | c0y5t4 |
he reddit. i've been thinking about making this post for a while now. basically me and my girlfriend had been dating for 3 years, we've been fighting a lot lately over small stupid things, one night when she was over we had sex, because usually when we're getting over a fight that's what we do to connect with eachother in a way. she didn't really seem like she wanted to when i first started but still didn't refuse. she just had a look of boredom on her face the entire way through. this happened twice before a realized what had been going on. i had also noticed that she doesn't really send me naked pictures anymore, which is not an issue at all, it's just weird to not have that after its kind of like a routine. so one day i asked her why she hasn't seemed interested in anything sexual lately and she told me that she feels like i had been forcing her to have sex. when i think back to it i was pressuring her to but i don't think that i was like forcing her, if she would have told me no i would have stopped. a couple nights ago i came to her house to surprise her and try to cheer her up. i knew she was hanging out with one of her girlfriends but i just wanted to stop by quick to give her some chocolates and a kiss because it seems like we're drifting apart. when i got there and went inside she was laying in bed with her male friend, whom she knows i have an issue with. neither of them were under the covers. nothing was going on at that point. she told me her friend had just left and he came over to drop off some books she left in class (didn't see any books around but didn't really look) i read somewhere online that a loss of interest in sex could be due to being interested or having sex with someone else. i don't see myself giving up on this relationship any time soon. but i've always been very worried about that guy in particular more then anyone else. they talk all the time probably more then me and her do at this point and he snapchats her with his shirt off and stuff, she sometimes refuses to include me in pictures she's sending to him. so i have a few questions for you guys 1.do you thinks she's cheating or interested in dating this guy? 2.what can i do to show her that she doesn't have to feel forced to have sex with me/ doesn't have to be afraid? 3. do you think i should continue trying to fix this? i'm probably going to try either way, but i value your input. | my girlfriend (f18) suddenly refusing sex, possibly cheating? (m20) | 5v19eo | hard to know. she's confused, ambivalent?? ask her to talk to a therapist and maybe she'll get her thoughts together. | relationship_advice | 5v19eo |
sigh. yeah. my intention was to only drink on halloween— for some reason. i thought i could make one exception. and then the next day i said to myself “wow, and it’s not like i have the urge to do that all the time. maybe i can just be cool about this and drink sometimes, like a normal teenager.” that turns into a bottle of wine on election day, drinking at a concert, vodka on thanksgiving, tequila at a dinner party. and you know what these experiences have added to my life?? nausea and disappointment. that’s it. my year sober would’ve been two weeks from now. i was drunk last night and my mom (who quit two months ago. she said i inspired her) told me she felt great sober and she was so happy. i had no idea how to tell her that i’ve been drinking again. i think i knew then, knew always, that i’d need to quit again. i can’t live with this hanging over my head and inside my stomach. day 1, again. i wish i’d made the year. but i have today. iwndwyt. 💓 | after ten months sober, i had “one drink”... | a090t2 | thanks for sharing... i can totally see myself doing that.... again. hopefully i won’t! | stopdrinking | a090t2 |
male 5'11 200lb i have been on abilify (2.5mg) for depression for around 50 days. i really liked it at first, felt noticeably better quickly. unfortunately it lost it's affect after 40 days or so, but i still had bad side effects like crazy hunger, and left eye muscle spasms/twitching. even if it was still working, i would probably get off of it because of the huge appetite increase and the eye twitching. anyways, i want to get off of it. considering it's a small dose and i haven't been on it that long, could i just quit taking it cold turkey (often not advised, i know) or is there a better method of tapering off? thanks. still 10 days until i see the doctor. | [m/32] quitting abilify | 8gfnz2 | at that low dose it's unlikely that you'd have any problems just stopping, and it would be hard to taper slower than that. it would be good if you could contact your doctor first. | askdocs | 8gfnz2 |
30 year old male, 5'7, 68kg, non smoker - currently taking venlafax. for some background i've had my gallbladder taken out in the last few years, have also been dealing over the last few years with nausea, dizziness, headaches, tinnitus every single day which i can only put down to stress and anxiety or the medication i've been taking(venlafax now but have been on other ones). while the nausea has settled down in the recent months and things generally seem to be getting better i can't shake being bloated after any food i eat. anything big or small just seems to sit in my stomach all day and will be vomited up if i do any half intense exercise. appreciate any help, i'm desperate for any input as i've exhausted any forms of help i know. | constantly bloated and can't exercise without vomiting | dexmc4 | did you get (and follow!) recommendations for diet change after the gallbladder surgery? cholecystectomy can cause gastroparesis (slow emptying of the stomach), which may be what you have. you don't actually mention speaking to any doctor about this. it might be worth seeing your primary care doctor for management. there are several options for treatment. | askdocs | dexmc4 |
19 (f) i have been struggling with my sexuality for the entirety of my life as i'm from a highly religious background. i have been in a relationship for five months. last night i kissed a girl and we went slightly further. does that constitute as cheating? (honestly, i think so) and what is the best way to deal with this situation whilst being fairing to my boyfriend. 19 (m). | did i cheat? what should i do about it? | 696roc | you did cheat and it might indicate your non-readiness to be in a ltr | relationship_advice | 696roc |
much better today. so weird that most of how you feel is in your head, not the circumstances. managed to stop ruminating on what could possibly go wrong today and then getting angry about it. definitely need to get back into meditation. took the time to teach someone a skill i have that they wanted to learn and that felt really good. i was patient and encouraging instead of snappy and critical. someone wrote to me here a long time ago, whenever i feel myself feeling down to focus on someone else and things will improve. i think she was right | day 4 ray of light | 8jtmv9 | well done. i tried the "mindfulness" app from play store on android. its the one with a blue icon with white glowing image inside.... there are a few with similar bames. its free, and has several guided meditations, as well as silent ones with bells at start and finish. it also tracks your use and you can set up reminders etc. i find it great. best of luck to you. | stopdrinking | 8jtmv9 |
i'm going to start paying more attention to neurology and brain differences. it appears that people with mirror touch synesthesia have less grey matter in the corresponding area of their brain. speaking of brain stuff, a year or so ago i also figured out that i may have misophonia, at least to a degree after a friend described it. so now i feel ok that certain sounds bother me and i'm not "sensitive" or "crazy". it's just nice to be reminded that we're evolving as a species and we get wired differently as "stuff happens" whether it's genetic, something that just goes awry as we are in development, or environmental factors. this stuff is quite fascinating! if you're interested scroll down to the podcast titled **entanglement**: WEBLINK i don't mind being different so much, it's just finding ways to adapt with what i have to coexist with society in a way that i feel healthy and happy (well general contentment, or fulfillment, not being "happy" all the time). i guess acceptance (being ok or i guess "radical acceptance) of being different and not necessarily understood by others makes it easier. i feel like the difference between my generation and my grandparents was that they were more accepting of situations and what happened to them, they just adapted or figured out a solution. somehow that skill got lost, it seems to have progressively disappeared from the baby boom generation forwards. people seem to have a lot more trouble adapting to situations, being effective rather than perfect, and seem to need other people to tell them what to do and manage their emotions for them. | after hearing this npr podcast where they talk about mirror touch synethesia, suddenly i feel less crazy | 43csru | i'd like to say its nice that you found something that helps but i'm not sure this is helpful. i personally don't like adding so many labels. i am me. part of bpd and my journey was discovering that the lack of identity led me to seek out labels to identify myself. social ones at first - emo, scene. then onto medical ones and spiritual ones. i went from adhd to being hsp - a highly sensitive person. then infp once i learned of the myers briggs. recently i've looked into crohns instead of my ibs and and looking at dr's. on a positive note, i am an mft. idk, somewhere along the way i realized i was collecting identities. they were masks i could wear when i couldn't find the real me. i could hide behind them and excuse myself. i'm not saying you are doing the same thing. i am saying, try to find who you are. try not to worry so much about what you may have or fit into arbitrary categories. the best success will come from identifying yourself as a whole, not the separate parts. | bpd | 43csru |
hello all! i apologize if this is against the rules i am a junior undergraduate studying clinical psychology and social work at the university of illinois at urbana-champaign. i am currently enrolled in a theories of psychotherapy class, and am asking for some assistance. one of our assignments is to interview a professional in this field about their method of practice, how they run their practice, why they chose that particular model, things like that. if anyone would be willing to do a quick interview that would be great! we could either video chat or message, whatever is easiest/most comfortable. if you would be willing to help me out, please pm me. thank you again! | professional needed for interview | fmwn73 | /r/psychotherapy has a list of people willing to be interviewed here: WEBLINK | askatherapist | fmwn73 |
and i feel so good about it, i can finally start my road to healing :) | i finally made an appointment with a therapist! | 84ea5u | awesome! you’re already on your way! | anxiety | 84ea5u |
i started going and the first two times i left i was like,”oh my god”, i have so many problems and issues that i didn’t even realize? this thing is just the tip of the iceberg it feels like now lol. we tried to talk about the reason why i was there a few weeks ago and i just like... freaked out a little and then they started asking me questions about my childhood and then i completely shut down, only said no to everything they asked, didn’t want to talk, couldn’t talk, had zero thoughts about anything until after i had left. last week was more chilled, but like, holy shit, do i realize now i am swimming in issues. so,yeah, is that normal for people?? | is it normal to go to therapy for one specific issue and then feel like your whole life is a huge mess? | bmdoje | this has been the case in my experience with clients and in my personal therapy more often than not. client goes in with one identified problem, only to find out that there were multiple problems causing it the whole time or something completely different than they were thinking. the reason this is so common is just that, if you knew exactly what was wrong or the root, you probably would've resolved it on your own before needing to go to therapy. usually good therapy will help you to see things that were in your blind spots. once that happens though, you have an important decision to make. do you have the time/energy to try to resolve and overcome everything as much as possible (might take a few years in therapy) or do you just need to pin point the most pressing current issues to get to a better level of functioning in the present. aside from seeing this in my work with my clients, i've had the exact same experience in my own therapy. long before i became a therapist, while in undergrad, i was positive i'd meet the criteria for a certain diagnosis. well.... turned out it wasn't that at all but something else that actually made a lot more sense that i hadn't thought of. years later while working with the best therapist that i've probably worked with over the years, i went in with goals, an action plan, and what i thought was a clear picture of my problems. turned out after only a few sessions, he helped me come to realize that what was causing my distress was something i hadn't even considered. | askatherapist | bmdoje |
hey all, i'm a 39 year old male, i developed a problem about three years ago. anytime i get in a car for more than a few minutes, i get motion sickness that is so bad it's crippling. i don't typically vomit unless it's a longer car trip, in short rides it's serious nausea with a feeling of the spins and i get tired from going through it. i got blood tests kinda recently and the only thing out of the ordinary is my red blood cell count. my left ear sometimes hurts a bit but i wouldn't say i get ear aches, i feel quite a bit better with gravol. but it isn't realistic for me to take a daily dose, other medications seem like they'd leave me just as lethargic. please help, my life is already complicated and in this state i can do much living. | major motion sickness | aenfxu | you might have mal de debarquement syndrome -- a vestibular problem. | askdocs | aenfxu |
when i'm really hurt mentally, there's a feeling in my heart that someone is squeezing it. is this normal for you? | what is this strange feeling in my heart when i worry about something? | elk5n0 | heart palpitations, chest pain or discomfort, difficulty breathing/feeling like choking, etc. are physiological/autonomic responses to anxiety, or more specifically, symptoms of panic. the sensations are extremely common, i experience them, too. these physical symptoms may also manifest if you feel triggered by something. | mentalhealth | elk5n0 |
i'm here because i don't know how to help my friend, who is really struggling. he worked all of his life in one career and is brilliant at it. he achieved the highest honor possible in his field. since then he has been struggling, it seems. after all the work it took to be the best and being recognized as the best... what comes next? do you just go back to doing the daily grind or does everything after have to be extremely impressive? and why does it seem that his colleagues have turned on him? almost two years after the success of his life, he says he feels like a failure. i can't imagine he is the first person to be going through something like this. is there a book or something that could help? he seems resistant to trying therapy. any advice is greatly appreciated! | you succeeded. now what? | f4xvho | this is really common when people place their value and happiness on achievements/ externsl success rather than internal attributes. consider famous people and other high achievers who have been very depressed , abused substances, and/or died by suicide. when a person places personal value on goals and achievements, they are never satisfied. meet thos goal, then what ? there is a lot of "i'll be happy when..." that continues to change. there are no magic words than you or i or anyone can say to help your friend, it would be an ongoing process of examining values and finding new ways to frame and define happiness , success, etc. the good news is that really simple therapy can address these concerns | askatherapist | f4xvho |
buspar for anxiety, i am currently a graduating college student with severe anxiety and was recommended buspar. would this help? | buspar | bg8eue | my experience with it so far has been positive. every persons reaction is different but it’s worth a shot to try. | anxiety | bg8eue |
and i am totally able to hide my pregnancy through going sober nearly 4 months ago. yesterday i had dinner with a group of friends and despite turning up in my pyjamas due to huge bloating nobody cared to mention my refusal of "just a glass" of wine or a beer, because i've been refusing it since june. now i just have to learn how to keep a secret for 6 more weeks! | i'm pregnant! | 74m5pf | congrats! i will not drink, while pregnant, with you today! | stopdrinking | 74m5pf |
female 5’10 310lbs neurotin 30mg 3x daily, geodon 80mg 2x daily, zoloft 50mg daily, antabuse 250mg daily, melatonin 3mg daily, clonazepam 0.5mg daily + 0.5mg prn, b2 200mg daily, ginkgo biloba 120mg daily, topamax 50mg daily, ranitidine 150mg daily, pantoprazole 20mg daily i have been diagnosed with schizo affective disorder (mood disorder is bipolar ii), insomnia, ptsd, generalized anxiety disorder, chronic gerd, alcoholism. so the gist is i’m in a heavy depression and ptsd state right now and therefore my sleep is all out of whack. sometimes i’m awake for a full 24 hour period, sometimes i’m asleep for about 20 hours with brief periods of being awake. naturally i feel the most awake at night and sleep the most peacefully during the day, i’ve been that way for many many years, mentally stable or not. i brought it up with my pcp who is in residency and she told me as long as i don’t sleep or stay awake excessively then studies are showing that there’s no real reason for “night owls” to conform to the standard sleeping schedule so long as they’re duties are met (such as work or school). my psychiatrist on the other hand is telling me that i should have good sleep hygiene (which i completely agree with) and that for my mental state to even out, i should be waking up in the morning and going to sleep at night aiming for around 8 hours of sleep. i don’t know who to follow. when i bring up what my pcp says on other matters, my psychiatrist dismisses it all as ‘she’s a resident, i am a doctor too’ and my pcp just flat out says she won’t fix something that isn’t an issue when i bring up matters my psychiatrist wants me to bring up to my pcp. i’m so lost and could use some guidance. | i’m getting conflicting information regarding my sleep patterns from my pcp and my psychiatrist. who should i listen to? | 8bn3rk | bringing another doctor into the conflict between your two doctors seems like a recipe to make things more complicated. i'm going to do it anyway. there are points on both sides. yes, there are people whose natural sleep cycles are off compared to the rest of the world (delayed sleep phase disorder), and it seems true that if you can get away with keeping to your natural schedule there isn't a problem. the disorder, then, is just the mismatch between the person and everyone else, not really a problem per se. this is all probably more true for regular sleep at unusual times rather than very erratic sleep patterns. (i am not a sleep medicine expert. i've learned a little bit about this, but i'm no expert!) which is all fine, but most people do need to interact with the world on a reasonable schedule, for social reasons if nothing else. i can see your psychiatrist's point: good sleep is important to managing mood symptoms, and the obvious way is to have good hygiene and a regular schedule. but if the best regular schedule for you is not one that would be good for other people, there are some costs and benefits to discuss. and as is often the case, if there have been any recent changes to your medications, some of those can definitely mess with sleep and should be discussed. if those have been your stable meds and dosages for a while, it might be worth trying the experiment for a week of letting yourself sleep at the time most comfortable for you and seeing whether you find yourself sleeping better and feeling better. one final note: "just a resident" does mean that your pcp has less experience. it also means she has been through medical school and training more recently (in fact, currently!) and might be more up to date on things. it might be helpful if you could put the two directly in touch by phone or email so they can try to talk this out and not put you in the middle of it. | askdocs | 8bn3rk |
length of relationship (2 1/2 years.). she was with me through forest fire, house foreclosure, rehab, and when i almost died to frostbite. i go on house arrest and she moves in together then a month ago said things aren't working from partly me being jealous/smothering her as i could leave home and wanted to be around her all the time. so she leaves about 3 weeks ago, and says she's going to focus on herself and not looking for anyone else. i see her add this dude who's single on fb who since now has started dating and already hooked up with. i blocked her on facebook. i don't know how to get over her or stop ghosting her facebook from a friends account and see her purposely posting stuff about "song reminds me of special someone" etc... and i'm losing the battle, especially being on house arrest with no one around. my biggest fear is i'm in debt a lot (50grand) from my addiction but i still kept my full time job. i don't know how to move on and it scares me and first time in my life i've had visuals of just ending it...whether be under a heavy hauler tire so my dad and family get work insurance money and will be finance free. like it just breaks my heart seeing her find a "special someone" in 5 days of knowing the person only a couple weeks after she left our 2 1/2 year relationship. i blocked her and id creep buddies account and seen a video of them together and it tore me apart even harder...just wish i wouldnt care or love her so much... i did block buddy and hope time will fix this... i sincerely appreciate your time for those that read this, i just needed to vent and i have no one i trust in real life and don't want to be judged. ~frostbite. | [28m] losing control after ex left our 2 1/2 year relationship for me being on house arrest and finds "special somone" in 5 days.. | 69n7qt | i've got several years since my last drink. what has remained clear through all the ups and downs is that i don't ever want to have zero days of sobriety again. that shit sucks. zero days feels fucking terrible. it just adds a new woe. | relationship_advice | 69n7qt |
so i stopped drinking a week and a half ago. i was doing great until my brother-in-law and i went out for lunch. i can't blame him because everything was my own choice. anyway, i got wasted, blacked out and we both made asses of ourselves, resulting in the two of us getting banned from our favorite bar. personally, i think it's a good thing because i'm less likely to drink if my favorite bar won't have me. anyway, that was saturday. i haven't had a drink since. i know it's only been a few days, but i think it's progress. i'm exercising to put off the craving, so that's good. my girlfriend is a bartender and comes home either wasted or severely buzzed every time she works. i asked her to stop with me, but says that it's just my way of punishing her for my own fuck ups. i know that it's difficult for me when she comes home after a night of partying. anyone have some advice? please don't just say leave her. we have a young son together and i love her. | fucked it up, started over, now in shit because i want my so to join me. | 1fbg86 | everything said so far is exactly what i'm about to say. you cannot make her get sober doing so will build up deep-seated resentments that can destroy a relationship. you're not punishing her, but you are trying to make her do something for your own comfort. the fact of the matter is she's not ready yet, she may never be, she may not be an alcoholic at all, that is not for you and i to judge no matter how close you are to her or how little i know about her. her getting sober will be her choice not yours. if you truly love her as you say you do(which i'm not trying to dispute by the way.) then you will suck it up, you will get sober, you will be of service to her, you'll help her through any issues that may arise from her life drinking related or not, you will be of service to her in the best way that you can, and most importantly you will serve as an example of how great sobriety is. that way, if and when she decides she's had enough she'll look to your example and see how much of a gift it is and hopefully she'll follow in your path. i have a girlfriend who isn't sober, she was with me in my active addiction, but she was completely supportive of me and has been ever since. that being said there are times when i tell her that i need some space because of certain triggers(specifically the smell on her breath.) when she's drunk. i don't if you have looked into aa, but it talks about the willingness to go to any lengths to get sober. i'm guessing even outside of aa this is an all or nothing thing. you can't half-ass it because this disease is a life or death thing. so my question is, if your girlfriend were to be an imminent threat to your sobriety, would you have thing willingness to breakup so you could stay sober. that's a tough question for a lot of people, including myself, and i can't say with certainty that i would do it, but being where i am today i hope i would have that willingness were the situation to arise, because this disease will kill me if i don't stay sober. | stopdrinking | 1fbg86 |
it sucks that i'm this old and still dependent on my parents. especially since they're very religious christians and i don't share a lot of the same principles or values with them (e.g. they don't like me wearing short shorts because they are that conservative, so they stealthily changed my shorts into longer ones without my knowledge or consent). they won't let me find a job i want so there's no hope for me moving out. i'm also single af and they control who i talk to so it's not like i can be with someone. they want me to "get better" first before they let me live a normal life (if they ever will), because according to their very arbitrary standards i'm not ready, but they don't realize what they're doing is keeping me from getting better. they keep praying but at the same time they monitor, control, and manipulate my life, so even if there is a god, it's counter-intuitive, sort of like when i was praying i would lose weight but still kept eating whatever i wanted. the worst part is they have justified what they do as "god's will" and don't practice what they preach to just have faith that their god is in control. i want to have privacy and self-determination, something every human being deserves to have (if you think i don't, please don't bother replying, i'd like to see you try and survive going through something exactly like this). but it seems like i'm going to be this way forever, and, really, i'm just waiting for me to die. i have given up and lost all hope. they are in control, and i can't do anything about it. i feel so suffocated and frustrated but all i can do is fantasize about being well and living a life better than this. i'm not sure what i'm looking for by letting this out. probably no one can help me. i just need someone to listen since i haven't been in therapy for a while now. my old therapist said i needed to show them that i am ready for a job and a lover, but i don't know how to do that when them controlling my life makes me depressed, anxious, paranoid, etc. it seems like a catch-22 (not sure i used the term correctly). isn't the best (and most dignified and humane) thing to do to let me go? | rant: almost 30 and still living with parents | 9zdg08 | dude unless they physically restrain you from leaving, you need to just get a job and move out. | mentalhealth | 9zdg08 |
my son has "adhd" (who doesn't anymore?) and so has been given two separate medications (first one, then another) to try and improve his attention in school. since trying both, he has actually fared worse in school, and so i have told his doctor i do not wish to continue giving them to him. part of the reason for this is looking into these two medications: trileptal and wellbutrin. from what i can gather looking up the uses of these medications, they are used, respectively, for treatment of seizures (my son has never had one, nor been diagnosed with a condition that would cause one) and depression (my son has never been diagnosed with depression either) my question is why either of these might have been prescribed for the treatment of adhd? it seems strange to me that these would be given, and has given me doubts about taking the advice of doctors at face. can anyone please explain what may be going on here? | 10 year old son prescribed trileptal,never had a seizure? | 54j1c2 | they're not bad choices, but it would be interesting to know why the the usual ones (ritalin etc) werent considered. remember that any medication may have multiple uses. adhd has surprisingly high prevalence rates, though its difficult to say whether its overtreated in north america or undertreated in europe. | askdocs | 54j1c2 |
my gf and i just broke up a few weeks ago and i can't stop myself from thinking if she's already dating another guy. the thought of her kissing someone else and doing things couples do is torturing me. what should i do? how do i cope with this? | i can't help myself thinking. | 6fveu7 | it's hard for sure. surround yourself with caring friends and keep busy | relationship_advice | 6fveu7 |
25 years old. i've recently been considering that i may have adhd. pretty much all of the symptoms struck a chord with me and it might be why i've been struggling so much. i decided that i showed too many symptoms to ignore and have all my life so i booked an appointment with the gp in my university to try to get information and a referral. she told me that there was no way i would have gotten into university with undiagnosed adhd as i wouldn't have gotten the grades. she wouldn't listen to any symptoms and had made up her mind that i was overreacting. i then went to my gp in my hometown for another opinion. she's been my gp all my life so i thought she might be more open to my thoughts. she completely dismissed me, calling adhd a "fad" and a "sexy diagnosis". she said that seeing as my parents share some of my symptoms that it's just learned "bad behaviour" and that some people are just lazy. she treated me like someone looking for drugs and flatout refused to give me any information or a referral. i'm so afraid to go looking again as i've already spent so much time and money and i've been left feeling like i'm reading too much into it and really am just disorganised and lazy. has anyone had else had any trouble seeking a diagnosis as an adult and how did you get people to take you seriously? tldr: been seeking a diagnosis and been dismissed by two doctors as lazy and unmotivated. any advice in being taken seriously? thanks | advice regarding seeking diagnosis | b9fkdi | riiiiight, and of course it's absolutely not lazy and unmotivated to send a patient away with a 'nope, you don't have it byeee'... definitely find a another doctor. a gp is not a psychologist or a psychiatrist, should not make a formal diagnosis, and should definitely give you a referral. | twoxadhd | b9fkdi |
i've been struggling a bit lately since i've recently gone off the wagon. i had a good 8 months of sobriety and then i relapsed a month ago. i've been sober for 3 days now. before that, my longest stint was 1.5 years in which i was heavily vested in aa. i was a happy sober person back then. during my last stint of 8 months, it was different. i was absolutely miserable, sad, and angry almost daily. honestly, i don't even know how i got that far sober recently. **i want to know what has helped keep you sober for so long? was it a higher power or a certain daily activity? was it a loved one or a certain aspect of a recovery program? daily reminders?** i keep reflecting on what made me relapse during my longest stints. what i could do better, etc. to ensure and sustain my sobriety. i am so afraid of failing again and my body and my mind cannot handle another relapse. *edit: i want to thank everyone for all the really helpful and insightful responses. i'm still sifting through and reading all of them. seriously, i really appreciate it. i am very grateful for this community.* | redditors with long term sobriety (5+ years), how did you stay sober for so long and continue to do so? | genkxm | after 18 months in aa i did the 5th step with a guy and he recommended that i see a psychotherapist. he told me i needed professional help. the therapist i met with was really good, she referred me to career counseling and they gave me a test that helped me choose a subject to study. i studied electrical engineering and had a 24 year career in electronics. during that time i got married and had kids. all the while attending aa and helping other guys get sober. it’s been a rare week that i don’t make at least 2 or 3 meetings. i’ve been sober 41 years now and i attribute my sobriety to aa and taking care of myself, going to college and finding love. | redditorsinrecovery | genkxm |
health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. | daily buddha | 38nis4 | interesting parallel: three jewels of buddhism: the dharma, the sangha, the buddha three jewels of aa: the steps, the fellowship, the higher power | stopdrinking | 38nis4 |
my mom called me today and after asking about my newborn told me that my younger cousin had started an internship at a hospital. it was kind of jarring since i haven't spoken to or heard from this cousin in about 12 years. i've heard about his progress over the years but i've always been too ashamed to go apologize to him. so here's the story. his name is chris. he was always kind of different. he liked different music, spoke differently, had different interests, had poor social skills and i could go on. he was just kind of odd to us as kids. he did spend a lot of time around our grandparents and old people so maybe that was why. because of his different personality traits, he dealt with a lot of bullying in school for his entire life. chris never showed any emotion, though. he was quiet to begin with but looking back i notice that when he got upset he just totally shut down. it's hard to tell how bad he was hurt because he just went silent. anyway, after jr high he moved to a new district and went to highschool with me. i was a junior and i was pretty popular in high school. i was also massively insecure in my own right. he came to school with me because he had always looked up to me, we got along like brothers at home, and i said i'd look out for him and introduce him to my friends and help him make friends. but i was immature and selfish back then. i admit i treated him differently at home vs in public. i made him the butt of the joke. chris was getting shit on from the day he got there because of me and it was constant and came from everybody. everyone knew me and liked me and since i picked on chris, they did too. i can't stress enough how bad it was. it got worse because chris'mom made him play on the football team. from what i heard he was just a punching bag for them. not physically, but they made his life hell. again, no one noticed how much chris was hurting because he was so quiet. the last day i was around chris was a day where he rode home from school with me and one of my friends. my friend immediately started dumping on chris. chris must have reached his limit at this point because he actually started to get visibly upset and yell and curse back. my friend eventually stopped the car in the middle of the road and made chris get out. i'm ashamed of this moment. i remember chris looking at me for help and i didn't say a word. chris got out and started walking. my friend and i drove to my house and sat outside waiting for chris to walk home. he never came, or so we thought. he was actually sitting in the backyard and my house was small enough that he could hear us talking shit about him..he just sat back there and listened. he stayed until my mom came home and started yelling at me asking where he was. he let me get yelled at for a while and then came in and said he was sitting in the backyard. again, chris got shit on by my mom for "playing games". that's not her fault, though as she was honestly concerned for his well being. that night, chris tried to kill himself by slitting his wrists. thankfully my mom heard him crying in the kitchen. long story short he left my school and was in the hospital for a while. he told his mom and therapist about what had been happening and i just never heard from him again. now the kid is a doctor. i realize i really have no right to be in his life, but i do want to apologize to him. tl;dr- i helped bully my cousin to the point of suicide. now, 12 years later, he's doing well for himself. he's a full fledged doctor. hes helping people and, from what i hear, happy. i want to apologize to him. what is the best way to do this? | i (30m) bullied my younger cousin (28m) and want to apologize | 5vid1o | write him a letter and speak from the heart. | relationship_advice | 5vid1o |
gender: male age: 17 height: 187 cm weight: 79kg smoke: yes drink: yes not using any medication location: europe race: white any health problem: no location: nose, throat, eyes(?) duration: 15 minutes now so i was eating those super spicy korean ramen things and my friend said something funny so i laughed and it went out through my nose. it’s fucking burning and when i blow my nose i can see pepper things. i’m also crying but that’s normal besides the fact i regret my life now, should i be worried?? what should i do?? i’ve been drinking water and eating bread but don’t know what to do about my nose | i just snorted super spicy ramen through my nose. besides the pain, should i be worried?? | 9fi4h6 | that's very uncomfortable but not dangerous. blow your nose if it feels stuffy and let it recover. all that mucus production is helpful—it's to wash out the gunk that got into your nose. it'll just take time. | askdocs | 9fi4h6 |
so i have posted on here a few times. just over a year sober. my original story is on my post from 2017. long story short, drank for 6 years straight and i mean every single day. went cold turkey, ended up in hospital for over a week. i have noticed though that no one really talks about how bad the withdrawel can be, especially if you exeperience dt's. i had it severe and i hope none of you go through what i did. its so hard to explain but i will try. i just want to mention also i have done alot of hallucinagenic drugs in the past (lsd mushrooms ketamine and dmt) so i have tripped alot, i dont touch any of that stuff anymore i guess i was always experementing and wondering what the brains capable of. anyways, when it comes to alcohol dt's, its a whole different ball game. so, my first night of withdrawing, laid in bed, all i could feel was my heart pulsing through my body and brain, it was so hard my body was twitching to the pulse, then i was sweating and started twitching more and more. i was getting cold, then hot, then cold and so on. then i started hearing whispers in my head, just like subtle whispering, saying things like go on, go on, go on...or no dont, no dont, no dont. this happened all night, basically laid there in a mess trying to relax. so i got no sleep. in the morning, started getting light, i could hear the birds waking up outside so thats when i knew, great, no sleep for me and wtf is going on in my head. if you havnt read my original post i mentioned, at this point my mum let me stay with her because i was fucked up and homeless at that point and me and my mum really dont get along at all. so its about 9am now, second day, i still cant get these repeating voices out my head. just constantly saying, no dont do that! or shutup! just shutup!. i thought i should atleast try to get out of bed and maybe i'll be ok if i down some water, have some food and a shower. so i go to stand up, and my legs were so heavy, its hard to explain, i was really confused. every step i took i was pulling each leg with my arms, i had no idea what was going on. i finally made it to the kitchen for a drink. my mum wakes up and comes in, she basically said wtf is wrong with you. i was shaking and basically looked really messed up. so the next weird thing. i try to talk, and it was so strange! i forgot words, like literally forgot words, and it felt like i couldnt even exhale, i was stuttering, and just so breathless. my mum had work, i muttered out the words im just ill i will be ok. we dont get along anyways so she just left. at this point, i laid on the sofa to try and atleast get some sleep. the repeating voices started to get louder and started saying more disturbing things, like burn them all! burn them all! or just kill them! kill yourself! shutup!. and this was non stop repeating. i literally thought i had schizophrenia. i had no idea about alcohol withdrawel by the way, especially going cold turkey. so im on the sofa and decide to google about alcohol withdrawel. it said you basically could have a fit and die if its that severe. which for me, being wasted every single day for 6 years, im guessing i had it severe. people were saying to not go cold turkey and ween off. basically when the shakes begin have a little drink. so i had a little of my mums vodka. and the shakes calmed down but i was still hearing shit. the vodka worn off and it was so bad. i got in bed as it was the evening now. my mum got home from work and just went to bed so we didnt see eachother. this is where things got so messed up. i was hallucinating at this point, and i mean, really badly tripping. cold sweats, hot sweats, my whole body was shaking, i started seeing dead people, demons, walking through hell, really twisted demented stuff, nothing like what i saw on drugs. for 7 hours this went on. i started tripping so hard it was like i was dreaming but i was awake, i saw each and every one of my friends sat around a giant table. and they all took in turns to walk up to me and say what they hated about me, or mention when i ever upset them. its so hard to explain but it was like i was facing my demons for every single lie or bad thing i have done. it was terrifying. i was crying and hallucinating and just didnt even know if i was dead or alive at this point it was so messed up. i basically crawled to the kitchen as i couldnt use my legs anymore and just knecked some more vodka to atleast try to calm it down. crawled back to my bed. i hear the birds outside again. 2 days without sleep. im a mess. i hear my mum leave in the morning, dont know where she was going. well i think i heard her leave but i dont know i was messed up. so i still have not spoke to her. im fucked at this point. the shouting in my head was just pure evil now. i couldnt walk. then my mum walks in the room, she didnt leave i was just hallucinating i guess, but it really sounded like she did. i could barely talk, i was just trying to say take me to the doctors please. i think at this point she knew i wasnt just sick, she had no idea i drank like i did, we didnt speak for years and i basically had to beg her to let me stay because we really do not get along. she dragged me to the doctors. but she had to go work. i didnt tell her how bad the drink was, because i could barely talk anyways i just tried to say ive been drinking alot the past few weeks when i was homeless, and my mums not the very smartest of people and i dont mean that in a rude way , she's just not, so she didnt really know what was happening to me. doctor looks at me, at this point, i really am fucked, it took me so long to get the words out and explain my 6 years of drinking everyday, why i did it, what was i drinking, it took me about half an hour to get out basically which could have been a 10 minute conversation. she checks my heart, blood pressure, both stupidly high. shines her torch in my eyes, says they are yellow, looks at my belly, feels my insides for lumps, says my skin is a bit yellow. she told me i had jaundice. i sit there and try to stutter out about the voices and that im basically seeing stuff rite now in the corner of my eyes. i remember her saying to wait outside while she makes a phone call. she asked a nurse to come help me outside as i couldnt walk. i remember sitting there waiting, with my head face down slumped in my chest. the voices started getting louder again, i was looking at the receptionists and i could hear them all slagging me off, saying im a scumbag, alcoholic waste of space. one of them approached me and i thought that she was going to tell me to basically get out you scum. she sat next to me and said are you ok there?. at that point i knew i was fucking tripping bad. then the doctor comes out and explains she rang the hospital and requested me a bed. i knew it was serious now. but the only thing was i had to arrange my own travel to the hospital. my only option was my mum and she was at work. i couldnt exactly get a taxi when im fucked up and can barely walk. after several attempts at calling my mum and begging her to help. she comes and gets me. the doctor had a chat with her but im just hearing voices shouting at me and seeing demons so i dont know what was said. next thing i remember was getting out my mums car outside the hospital. she carries me in and dumps me on a chair. i guess she left to go back to work. a nurse approached me, she was saying stuff and i could barely hear her with all the shouting going on in my head. 2 nurses had to help me walk to a bed. when i laid down the voices stopped for a bit and i saw the nurse sat next to me. she had an idea of what was going on from im guessing when the doctor called. she gave some pills to try and stop me shaking. it helped but i was still seeing things in the corner of my eyes. nasty things. we sat for what must have been over an hour of me stuttering out words and trying to explain what has happened the past 6 years. i remember i began to cry but it was so hard becuase i felt like i couldnt breathe. i remember the nurse hugging me. that hug was so important. i felt, like maybe i can get through this and im not crazy after all. there were other patients in the room so she had to do her job. i started hearing the voices again whilst sat on my own in this bed. then i started seeing horrible things again, demons, blood, just stuff from hell basically. it would come in little waves. i would be ok for 5 minutes and then bad for 5 minutes. i was stuttering out loud to the nurse who was helping someone else. she eventually came over and i was freaking out bad. she gave me some pills, i dont even know what they were, but it knocked me out. i finally got some sleep i guess, but i had nightmares, this was the worst part for me. i cant really explain my dreams, it was similar to the one where my friends were judging me, but it was horrifying, absolutely horrofying. i still have flashbacks sometimes and my body shivers. i wake up the next day and im in a different ward, about 6 of us all in hospital beds. i notice a drip in my arm. the voices had stopped. and the hallucinating. it was very strange to have these awful nightmares and wake up in a random room, i was also used to the voices and it was strange to not hear them. a random nurse came and sat with me and she asked if i was ok and metioned i didnt have a good night. this wasnt even the nurse from lastnight so i guess i was a complete mess. i was still stuttering. i asked where the other nusre went as i wanted to give her a hug again for helping me but she only works a few night shifts a week apparently. so the next 7 days i stayed in that bed. with a drip in my arm. having needles poked in me several times a day. slowly managing to walk by myself again. slowly managing to get some sleep with the help of the drugs they gave me. slowly managing to eat. making friends with the nurses. i just want to say nurses are amazing and deserve a medal for the work they do. i had to have my liver scanned and i was lucky it was hardly damaged. this is a long story. but i hope it is an eye opener for some people. i had absolutely no idea alcohol could do that to you. i have spoke to ex addicts when i was on my journey through recovery last year, all of them who was heroin addicts said that severe alcohol withdrawel was ten times worse than heroin withdrawel, that shocked me. i will end this now. anyone who wants a chat or help. dont be afraid to get it. alcohol is pure hell, i have literally seen it with my own eyes | we dont hear much about what withdrawel and dt's can be like. here is my horrific experience. | agrrjs | i just want to say to everyone, don't detox cold turkey or without medical monitoring. i'm a drug and alcohol counselor and if people ring us asking for an appointment with the doctor (multi disciplinary team) because they are getting withdrawals and shaking we tell them to either drink something or go to the er. alcohol and benzidiazapine withdrawals can affect your heart and is really intense. | stopdrinking | agrrjs |
i'm complete frustrated with the fact that every single adhd specialist in the major metropolitan area that i live in, does not accept insurance of any kind. as i'm trying to get my finances together, the fees are just not sustainable at my income level. there are plenty of psychiatrists who do accept my insurance, which does not require a co pay. has anyone had success seeing a psychologist or licensed social worker who doesn't specifically specialize in adhd? | are the adhd specialists in it for the money? can i just see a general psychologist/counselor who accepts insurance? | 2dno22 | as someone who works in the field- insurance can be a bitch to deal with, especially if they are in a solo practice. lots of paperwork, time spent on phone trying to get authorization for treatment, and hmos often pay less than what they want to charge. many clinicians just opt out of dealing with that hassle unless they want to pay for an administrative assistant or see less clients to spend more time dealing with insurance. | adhd | 2dno22 |
basically, i’m in the midst of a mental health crisis. my bpd and cptsd symptoms are back in full force. it is near impossible to find a mental health professional that it’ll take a borderline patient. i was warned about this by my recent psychiatrist, that a lot of therapists will not take a bpd client, that many licensed therapists will not want to work with someone who is stereotypically manipulative and require a lot of dedication. not only this, but its near impossible to find someone who will accept my insurance. that’s a secondary issue, though. i called seven mental health practices in the area, to find someone who will take someone with borderline as well as issues related to trauma. a few of them were “christian counseling centers” which is a yikes, but i’m desperate. i am happy to report... that i found a place that’ll accept me! and the appointment is in just a few days! i’ll start dbt again quite soon. hopefully this time the coping skills will stick with me. i’m super dedicated to working on them and getting my life back on track! | finding a specialist who is willing to work with bpd patients (a saga, with a happy ending!) | 9dwtr2 | if someone is willing to diagnose both cptsd and bpd i highly doubt they really understand either. unless the bpd was fully established before any of the trauma happened, there is way too much overlap for a differential diagnosis to be accurate and specific. i'm really happy for you that you found someone to work with and i hope they really understand cptsd enough to help you. | bpd | 9dwtr2 |