PAM: Welcome! I’m Pam Laricchia from livingjoyfully.ca and today I’m here with Tatiana Plechenko. Hi, Tatiana!
PAM: Just a little introduction. I first connected with Tatiana online then I was lucky enough to meet her in person at one of our first Childhood Redefined Summits. It has been my pleasure to witness her unschooling journey so far and I’m really excited to dive into her deschooling path with her today. So to get us started, Tatiana …
Can you share with us a bit about your family?
TATIANA: Sure. We are a family four. My husband and I, we immigrated to Canada both with our own families, him with his mom and me with my parents and brother when we were teens. Soon after we immigrated we met each other and have been together ever since. For almost 20 years now.
TATIANA: We went to university together here in Ottawa Carleton U. We later traveled together after we graduated and settled down here in Ottawa and had kids. Valerie is our firstborn daughter and she is ten and Daniel is our son and he is eight.
We have two cats they just went out, so you will not see them. They are a big part of our lives too with their own unique personalities. One of our cats actually goes every day and visit this elderly lady who has Alzheimer’s. She is being looked after by her husband. He comes back home every night.
PAM: Oh. that is so sweet.
TATIANA: I know. She’s super sweet. And, she loves him and she actually recognizes him. She doesn’t always recognize me but she knows him.
PAM: Aww. that is awesome.
How did you discover unschooling and what did your family’s move unschooling look like?
TATIANA: Sure. You were a big part of that, Pam.
Before I had kids I imagined myself as a very different parent. I grew up in an environment where order, predictability and higher education were valued a lot. When I was younger—especially a teen—I rebelled hard against those. But when I was expecting my first child I was surprised that in my mind I was conforming to everything I ever rebelled to. I thought I would have this perfect child who would feed on a schedule, who would sleep when it is time to sleep and eat when offered to eat. I will have this perfect, predictable life. I am going to be this perfect mother.
So, what happened is that we were blessed with a very strong-willed child. Who would let us know from the very beginning that we have got it all wrong. She would cry inconsolably and definitely not follow any schedule that I was still trying hard to impose on her. So, I just literally threw my baby whispers books away. I distanced myself for a while from family and friends who had a similar mentality. I just started to listen to my child. I started to build trust not only with her but also with myself as a mother. I started to listen to my own voice and we started to attachment parent.
At that time, I did not know that there was a term like that. I know that even now I come across on-line people not liking labels. I get it, but at the same time I find them helpful to find like-minded people finding that tribe, finding that support and mentorship.
So then we started thinking of another child and before we knew it we were pregnant with another child. We had two kids under the age of two. So our way of raising them was different from everyone’s expectations. And I had very little support or understanding of what we were doing. It was very tough and even though help was offered, that was not the help we needed at that time. And I had no strength to deal with defensive family members. It was easier to just do it all ourselves, even though it was not easy. There was just physical and emotional exhaustion bundled up together. My cup was empty. I knew what kind of parent I wanted to be, but I would find myself just resorting to the old pattern that I was brought up with.
I was reading your book about unschooling as a hero’s journey and I remember you saying that there is always a herald on the journey that announces to us that there is a different way. I had to sit with it for a while and think like, ‘So, was there a herald? And who was that herald?’
It was very interesting because my herald now has four kids and all her four kids go to school. But I remember the day when both of us were sitting next to the bath tub, with one each of our children in the tub—they were little. We were chatting, and I said, “You know, I think I’m failing my daughter. I am not the parent I wanted to be. I yell and I, you know, behave in ways that I am ashamed afterwards after that happens. And I don’t know what to do.”
And she said, “You know, my mother-in-law picked up this book from the library. It is called Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort and I think you might find it very helpful.” So, I got the book and I love that it finally gave me some tools to fill my brand-new empty toolbox. I started making changes, they started to work. I wanted to learn more because, in her book, Naomi never mentions that she homeschools or unschools. I started listening to her talks on her website. The word unschooling came up—again, another label, right?
And I looked it up and I started looking into the philosophy and learning more and more about it. Then, eventually, Anne Ohman’s name came up and her conference that she was hosting. I started reading your emails that you would send out every week. There used to be an option or maybe there still is an option to subscribe to those emails to receive them once a week, about unschooling and what it is. [PAM’S NOTE: The email series is now a free ebook, What is Unschooling?]
We made plans to go to that conference in New York. It was a ten-hour drive for us. Before we went both myself an Igor were reading the emails that you would send out then they made a lot of sense to us and we found them very helpful. Attending our first ‘We Shine’ was a crucial turning point for us. It sort of truly sealed the deal because we saw people parent. We found mentors for ourselves. I went to every talk at that conference and I found it very, very helpful. What I realized for myself then, that I needed to do a lot of work on myself. That I needed to establish firmer boundaries in my life and walk the walk that we wanted to create and envisioned for ourselves.
For Igor, he has been on board with the philosophy itself. He saw it working for children that week and there was a big shift for him because we were there. It was a campground and we were there Monday to Friday, where that was just the unschooling families. He saw how people treat their kids differently. What kind of relationships they have. But then on Thursday other families were moving in for the weekend. That difference just struck him so much. And he said, you know, he came to me there was no conclusions from him, he was just amazed at the difference. I think that was a turning point for him as well.
PAM: Oh wow. That is awesome. That’s right, I had forgotten you guys were at ‘We Shine’ too.
TATIANA: For couple of years. Yes.
PAM: Yes, yes exactly now I remember.
Oh my gosh, I love that story about how Igor was just in the place to see the contrast. That is really interesting.
TATIANA: That he did not go to any talks, he did not do any work. That was just that for him.
PAM: Wow. That is really interesting. I was curious, just quickly. You know you mentioned you know when Valerie was young and you decided to cocoon for a while, to disconnect from the kind of messages that you did not want to live. You wanted a new way. I was wondering, what was the spark that made you decide this is not working I want to try something different? Do you remember?
TATIANA: I think it was just her. Like, it was not working for her.
PAM: You wanted to find something that worked for her.
TATIANA: That’s it, yes. Like, if my child is not happy being put to bed by herself and you know magically fall asleep. But carrying her in the sling, she does fall asleep. Then I am going to carry her a sling because then she does not cry. So, it was just listening to her. I knew I would not be able to listen to her or to my own voice if I kept listening to messages that were out there. So I just pulled the plug that way.
I remember, and then, because it is so, attachment parenting I never heard about it. We were not brought up that way. Everybody would tell you, you know, ‘you are spoiling your child if you are carrying them around all the time.’ My midwife—and I liked her, she was amazing—she had to be with me only for six weeks. I would call her after six weeks and, you know, freak out on the phone and be like, “Ok, so, Frederick, when can I put her down? She has been in a sling all day I need to take a shower.”
She is like, “Well, Tatiana, you know there are those slings you can take in the shower with you.”
I was like, “Frederick, this is not what I am asking for. I do not want to take her in the shower with me. I want to take a shower. When will I be able to put this child down?”
She would say, “When she is eighteen.”
PAM: Oh, that is awesome.
TATIANA: That gave me a perspective.
PAM: Yes, yes.
TATIANA: She had four kids herself. I think her child, her youngest, was eighteen at that time.
PAM: Aww, that is beautiful.
I love the story of the herald. I love even the idea of looking back and just kind of processing our journey. Because it helps us understand it better. And I think it helps us understand ourselves better. I still laugh that I feel like my herald was a school principal.
TATIANA: Oh wow.
PAM: You know that it was at the private school where Joseph was going and he had been there for months. We had a meeting and so this was six months in and she is like, “We have to start looking for his gifts.” He was doing better there than public school. But that was the point where I was like, ‘Oh, if you have to start looking now, this still is not a great environment for him. Where he can shine.’ So, that was my, ‘Okay, I am going to keep looking for another way.’ And that was what led me down that road. It is so fascinating. Anyway, we should probably move on.
What was the most challenging area of deschooling for you, and how did you work through that?
TATIANA: The most challenging area was to go let go of my expectations of how things are supposed to be. How my kids are supposed to be. And how I am, and my partner, and our relationship is supposed to be.
PAM: All the things. But yes, the expectations.
TATIANA: Letting go of control and finding the beauty of how things are. You know, how beautiful people are. And I do not need to go around making them any better than they already are.
The things that I struggle the most in general, as unschooling goes, is that I struggled with electronics. One of my kids just loved it so much. The thing is that, not only did he love this, the tool to use specifically for his interests but also used it as a relaxation or to get away from over-stimulation. So he would be on it a lot, even when he was much younger. He is eight now. He is actually less on it now than he used to be because he found other ways to cope with situations that he found overwhelming before.
So, as long as I struggled, our relationship struggled. I do not think I struggled at the beginning, but I think I started struggling like mid-way. I was faced before a choice to either choose a relationship that was just beautiful and connection or to get stuck in my beliefs and lose that trust that we had built. Because my judgment of his choice, were coming across as judgment of him, it was just a terrible feeling for him to have. He would completely close down and not let me in anymore. And that was not a good feeling for me.
So, there was big shift for me. It was when I went to We Shine; to the conference. The description of We Shine was a celebration of unschooling. I always felt I know that was not the case and I could ask those questions but that was my internal process. Where I felt I could not ask questions like that at We Shine. Just because they were not very celebratorial for unschooling I guess, but my doubts. But it was helpful when I went to Childhood Redefined and could actually ask all those questions and get all those answers. So, when I came back from Childhood Redefined. I actually had Facebook send me a reminder today that was exactly two years ago I was at Childhood Redefined, right now.
TATIANA: So I came back, I joined him and in his games and his shows. I looked at his is world through his eyes. I decided to let my fears go. I decided to trust that he was going to be okay. You know like, goosebumps, he started talking to me again. He started sharing his world with me again. He welcomed me back with arms wide open as though nothing happened. That was beautiful.
PAM: Yes. I think that was, I will jump in because I got goosebumps too. It feels like kind of a leap into the unknown. You said when you came back, you decided, you chose, to just step past the fears. You know, ‘I am going to try this, I am going to join him in his world I am going to see through his eyes, through his perspective, and see what he is loving about this.’ And that he welcomed you back. He wants to share and connect with people; children want to share and connect what they love with the people that they love. So, when we can get past our fears and step in and join them there, it is an incredibly life-changing experiences isn’t it?
TATIANA: It is.
And, you know, like what you are saying about jumping into that unknown, it is not easy. You know, I would sit and listen to talks at Childhood Redefined and they were inspiring. And we would have group conversations that were also again redefining our perceptions of the world.
But then I would still, at lunch, sit with Anna Brown and you know be like, “Anna, just talk me through this, I am not getting it. I feel like I am bumping my head on a wall.” She coached me through it.
She said another thing that I wanted to talk about that I was struggling with food as well. My two big were that and food. And she looked at me and she said, “Tatiana, what is in your tea? What is in your cup?”
And I thought she was serious, I was like, “Well, I am having tea, you know.”
She was like, “How did that just make you feel? Did it make you feel judged?”
I am like, “Yeah. That was mean.” [laughter]
She was like, “Exactly. Do you want kids to feel that way?”
I am like, “Whoa.”
And that stuck with me. It stuck with me, she showed me how that makes them feel.
PAM: That is beautiful. Nicely done, Anna!
TATIANA: And it still sits with me. I still remember that.
PAM: Yes. I still I remember the food discussions there, while sitting outside.
TATIANA: Yes. I did not know how you guys handled that. Some questions were pretty harsh.
PAM: But that, to me, is the interesting part. It’s why I love talking to different people on the podcast and the different perspectives. Seeing unschooling through their eyes and how it came to them because it is fascinating. It’s so individual.
But underneath there are some things that really help us understand how unschooling works. How it flows, how our relationships support it, etc. Just being able to put you in your child’s shoes for a few seconds there, Anna by asking that question, right? That was a light bulb moment for you and it is different for all sorts of people. You know, what will be that connecting point.
I love, love, love, that that is one of the things that has always struck me about you. Over the years, you have still always come back. You still kept asking your questions. You still wanted to know. I absolutely loved that. I will keep trying to answer and keep trying to say it in different ways. Maybe bring in different examples, you know different questions to ask yourself to help you find out what your light bulb moment is. What will connect with you to help make things make sense?
We got into why I love doing this and I love that you shared that story about that light bulb moment because that might be it for someone, you know to figure out a way to put themselves in their child’s shoes. To me that ability kind of comes along with the understanding that it is another level of understanding that adults and children are all people. That it is totally valuable for us to put ourselves in their shoes and that what they see and feel in a moment and understand from a moment, is completely as valid and valuable as what we see in that moment. They are just another person in it, right?
TATIANA: I think like what you are saying about the “aha moments” is that people can tell you what it is like or what it is and you might not and be like yes okay, but I kind of get it. But I think until you have that moment where you do get it clearly, when you see it clearly, only then your perception changes.
PAM: Yes. I think that is why I encourage people to keep learning. And I encourage people, if you have read things that made sense to you, to revisit those things six months later, a year later, two years later. Because you are bringing a different perspective to them, you will get different things out of them. You will have different aha moments. Like when you and Igor were first reading the emails.
But if you go back and read that now, you will see different things. It will connect with you more deeply because now you have some experiences to tie with it. Now you had those experiences with your son, and you can get more depth out if it, I think.
Anyway it’s fascinating, that’s one of the things I love about deschooling and why we talk about how it takes time. It is not that first, you know, ‘Read through, understanding it, this makes sense, this makes sense, this makes sense, off we go.’ It really is so much about peeling our own layers back and really getting to that.
TATIANA: It is those layers, right? Like there is so many layers and I think at the heart of it like the biggest, biggest aha in general at the heart of deschooling for me was how it is healing. It is actually healing. It is our own healing journey. And that it is all about me. It is ME who needs to heal. It is ME who needs to make those changes. Everybody else around me is fine—it’s me.
And once I heal myself, only then my perception can change and I will just see differently. I will not be triggered. It is my issues need to be peeled and need to go. But I think like the challenges along the way is that process triggers us. Is that we get defensive.
You know, I went to We Shine two years in a row and I did not come back for a couple of years because I would get that triggered. I would get that defensive. But I think that defensiveness is from not doing the work. Like, if we actually commit to the work and we keep on doing it, then we keep on wanting to change then I think maybe that defensiveness can be avoided and years would not be lost along the way.
PAM: I think that is part of our journey too. But you are a thousand percent right, that these things trigger us. There are things that do that. It is really hard but to say you know to understand those things that are triggering us are really where our next big chunk of work is to do, right?
PAM: I still remember Ryan Holiday’s book, The Obstacle is the Way. the thing that you want to avoid, is really what is going to give you a huge growth spurt when you dive into it. When you are ready to dive into it. I do not want to come across as beating people up, I mean, if you need that space before you have the energy to do it. You need that time. But to understand that what we are most reacting to, most defensive about, there you used that word that is right. What we are feeling most defensive about and what we are most pushing away, if we can remember that that is probably a clue as to where we might want to start digging. I think that that can be helpful for people.
TATIANA: Yes and I also find that that space of defensiveness is space of victimhood. We can get stuck in that victimhood for a very long time. That almost gives us an identity and then in almost like feels good, even though it does not. We justify our choices and our decisions on how we want to be. But if we can let that victimhood go faster and not get stuck in that vortex of that defensiveness then we can come out of it earlier. And come out as a warrior and owning our story. I think that defensiveness comes a lot from our own guilt or the feeling of inadequacy of what we have done before. So I think it is forgiving ourselves and moving forward.
PAM: Yes. Back to that it is all about me.
PAM: Right, because it really is. I love that. That is the name of one of Anna’s talks in Childhood Redefined. Because it is really true. It ties right back into the beginning when you were talking about expectations being the most challenging area, right?
Because the expectations are us projecting onto other people. But, really when you get to the point where you understand that they all have their own choices and they are wonderful, and they are their journeys to take; their lives to live, not me to control. I can control me and then that is where you get to that point that you realize, oh you know all this work is mine to do, all these layers are mine to peel back.
And you are right, when you are stuck in one of those layers you are seeing everything around you through that lens. Like you said that the story you are telling yourself to justify keeping that layer. Right?
PAM: That is brilliant, thank you.
TATIANA: The more layers we peel the clearer the lens becomes and the clearer we can see the world. There is a little story, it is more of a joke and you have probably know it. It is like a woman keeps complaining to her husband that like she is looking through the window and she keeps complaining that her neighbor’s laundry is very dirty. And she keeps on hanging that dirty laundry to dry. Day after day she keeps telling him this. So the husband went and cleaned her window. It was not the laundry it was her window. That is kind of how deschooling works too, you know.
PAM: Yes. How we judge other people around us because we are seeing it through our lens. That is brilliant.
You mentioned some about Igor’s journey and you mentioned one of the aha moments that he had. I just wondered if there was any more stories or anything you would like to share around his journey. You know whether, how new this was for him, how challenging, maybe what helped, how you helped him move through it.
TATIANA: Sure. Yes, I asked him before the call, I said there is going to a question like that and I said, how was your move to unschooling and he said, “From what?” (laughs)
PAM: From what. Awe sweet.
TATIANA: I said what should I share. And he said just share whatever you want. [laughter]
I can share from my perspective.
TATIANA: I do not know how it was for him. I think we walk together.
We have been together for so long and we always just walk together. As I was learning new bits and pieces and things that really struck me, I would you know run to him excitedly and share it with him. He would always say that it makes sense to him. At the very beginning when I would get scared and I would share with him that I am scared and what we are doing is like really crazy and he would meet me right there in my fear and reaffirm that it truly is crazy and we probably should stop doing it, you know. We would take one step forward, two steps back.
Until we got so comfortable in our path and he would see the kids and he would just get his own understanding of the process. Now or later, I would share my concerns with him and he would say, “Everything is fine. You are, just let it go, it is all good.”
What is interesting in Igor is that he is a very talented guy in many areas. Sometimes I think like, ‘Why would just one person be gifted so many gifts?’ It’s just not fair to so many other people. I mean, he’s a tall, good-looking guy, he plays various musical instruments that he taught himself how to play. He is really good at math, at figuring things out. He is amazing craftsman and an artist. I mean like any sport, he would play it well. He has always been a valued player on his team. He plays soccer mostly. I honestly do not know why a person is gifted so many gifts. [laughter]
But what is interesting about that is that he does not need to live his life through his kids. He does not have that complex that he did not accomplish something and now he has to push his kids hard to somehow validate his own ego in anyway. So that is good that way. He has taught himself many things so he knows how unschooling works.
Both him and I were good students when we were in school and we got really disillusioned with the whole system. Not just school, many systems—like, whatever system. Yes so that is kind of his journey and he is the kind of guy, he just loves spending time with the kids. He always has energy to play with them. He is silly with them. He loves to mentor them in a very loving and patient way. He just brings so much joy into their lives. We are very lucky to have him.
PAM: That is very sweet. I love that. I love your observation about bringing our own layer of our own expectations to our children and what we because we can even subtly find ourselves nudging then in directions that will feel satisfying to us. So I love that observation.
How has your relationship with your children changed since you guys began unschooling?
TATIANA: Like I said, before I was trying to you know control how the kids are. Control even my relationship with Igor. I find that after realizing that and sometimes I would get blindsided by an issue and not even realize that the issue is there, or let go of the layer and not realizing that there a bigger layer underneath that that I am not even seeing yet. How letting go of that made his and my relationship so much better and just allowing him to be as a person and make his own decisions and the same with the kids.
PAM: It relates well with that story that you told about Daniel too right, you chose to join him. How much more connected your relationship became at that point. Certainly around that, and I imagine that kind of opened up since that was a huge interest for him.
TATIANA: Yes. I think that I am just able to be more present and more with them and more focused truly on their interests and not how to provide more information for that interest for them to learn something but because they just want that information because that would feed their joy. And it is joyous to me to see their joy.
PAM: I love that observation because you really lose the need to do anything “for the learning.” It is about following the joy, their excitement. Because you love to see them light up. You love to help them pursue the things that they are excited about and then, every once in a while, when you think “learning,” it is like, ‘Oh yes, they are learning tons.’
TATIANA: That is it. It is for all of them. It is for Valerie, it is for Daniel, it is for Igor. I mean, yes you want to do this.
It was actually interesting, Igor he got very randomly recruited by an agency and he started to act on the side. He found that when you are starting something like that when you are thirty-five and you have no professional training, it is tough. It is not like you can just show up and act, you do want some training. He came to Valerie’s theater rehearsal. She has an amazing, amazing director. An amazing mentor to her and to everybody who is involved in that community theater. Igor observed one of their rehearsals and he said, “How awesome, I wish I had something like that.”
And I said, “Igor, you have something like that, this is community theater. You can join any time you want.”
He was like, “Oh.”
So he joined. He is now on the board of directors. He has so much fun with this group of people and that is his joy.
PAM: I love, love, love that observation—you can join, this is community theater–and that your daughter is doing it, right? I love so much when we talk about unschooling is living in the world now. That is one of the ways you describe it. School is preparing them to live in the real world and we are just choosing to live in the real world now and learn along the way as we are doing it.
There are so many opportunities out there within the community that so often before we do not even consider. Because we are busy with our kids and kids are supposed to “do school” and “do their extracurricular activities,” that are geared just for them. But when you step away from that and just look for opportunities to engage with the community, there is all sorts of interests.
I know sometimes I you know would take the kids to things and they were not expecting to have children come of their own choice and show up. But so often they were very welcoming because it is a shared interest–something that they are interested in learning about. A curious person no matter their age who wants to learn more about something that they are already there because they are passionate about the interest right, you know theater as an example. It really does not matter and there are so many opportunities there for our kids to engage with other show share the same kinds of interests. I love that Igor and Valerie are both there.
TATIANA: Well, Valerie was not sure at the beginning that she would want him there. Because Valerie is the only extrovert in our family and she always looks for ways to connect with people and to do her own thing. I think theater was giving her that space where she would go like on a Sunday and be there for five hours and go with her girlfriends to a vending machine and run around and get in trouble and, you know, giggle it off. She was having fun with that.
And then when Igor was going to join she was not sure if she would want a dad there but then he joined anyway. Because he wanted to do it. And she found that it was helpful sometimes having him there. Like, if she gets tired she can lay down her head on him or just he was never intrusive in what she wanted to do. He is very respectful of her space. I think she got what she wanted out of it in terms of freedom. Like, she is not looking for it anymore. It is not, “Oh five hours at theater! Yay!” anymore. It’s, “Oh, five hours to be there.” It’s more like she is getting more theater out of it then the freedom that she wanted before.
PAM: Yes. Isn’t that so fun to watch their journey.
TATIANA: I think because we also relaxed around issues that we had.
PAM: Yes. It is all connected isn’t it?
PAM: Yes. It really, really is.
So what has surprised you most about your journey so far?
TATIANA: What surprised me most was how much joy there is in being in my kid’s company. In helping them along in whatever need help with. In preparing yummy food for them. In creating the environment that everybody wants to be in. It is interesting that that environment that I am creating for my family then a lot of people love to visit and just to be in the space that we create.
The message out there is very different. People post on social media how happy they are that their kids are finally in school come the school year. And they are celebrating and how they want them to go to bed early so that they can have time for themselves. I used to think that too when the kids were so young. I had two kids under the age of two and I was thinking, ‘Oh, once they go to school, finally I am going to have a break.’
TATIANA: Yes. But it is truly surprising what a gift it is to share this life together. I think this life can be that joyous only after you have let go of all those issues. When you are not trying to control them. When you are just there in partnership to have fun together and just enjoy the life together.
PAM: Yes. That is such a great point. When you get to that. Like we were talking about earlier even in relationships. When you get to the point where you are equals. You are all human beings and you can connect with them. There is joy and fun. You are being with another person, it does not matter what their age is. You can connect and engage and have fun together.
TATIANA: That is it. Yes.
I think there was also some times when I would get stuck with, ‘What about me? What about me and my interests and what am I doing with my life?’ But I think that the equilibrium is really to work taking care of the kids when the kids are much younger; because there is that physical aspect of mothering. But as they get older, I find that me and my interests get very intertwined with our days and the flow of our days. Everything, everybody gets taken care of.
PAM: I love that observation. It is so true when you have younger kids it is a lot of hands on physical help, you know you are getting food and you are taking them here and there and you have to help them get coats on and boots on—especially in Ottawa.
So it is a huge revelation when you understand that when you start to notice that as you say, your interest just comes up because you are having conversations with them. You are doing, just hanging out together. The things we like naturally come up because they are often the examples we reach to when we are in a conversation. Oh you know, I had that happen when I was doing XYZ, or whatever. Like you said, it is so beautiful how the stuff that we love intertwines with our life. As they get older we are having more conversations like that. We have a little bit more space to do things. Maybe we are, whether it is art we are drawing or crafting or reading or whatever and they come and room and they see what you are doing and they share a little update. It is really fun. That is such a cool observation.
TATIANA: It is now both ways. It is not just us sharing, now they are sharing back and supporting us in some way. Like we went for a walk as a family and I was preparing for my very first Facebook Live interview. I was having all these doubts and I was not sure how to go about it. And the kids were coaching me through it because they have seen so many live videos and they were saying this YouTuber is doing this and you have to have an intro and you have to do this and that. I am like, “Wow, guys, how do you even you know?”
PAM: Right. Absolutely. Our lives can flow together so well. I think that is another big step, another layer, is opening up. Not thinking about our “adult stuff” and “kid stuff.” That is not it. It is OUR stuff, the things we are all as individuals interested in. It is amazing the connections and just the support and information that our kids can bring because they are awesome.
TATIANA: It is that support. It is so nice to have that support and have somebody truly care, right? It is, “Oh, you want to do this? Yes, well, this is how you do it.” And I really, really felt that recently like another aha for me, the kids went to a birthday party. We dropped them off Igor and I. Then Igor and I went for a walk—we have this beautiful botanical park. We went for a walk and we came across a lake with beavers. We could just stand there and watch them. They came so close, they were swimming around and we were like taking pictures, close up pictures. It was so beautiful.
On the way back, I was walking and it was a narrow path and I was walking in the front and Igor was walking in the back. I was saying, “What do they eat?” Igor was like, “Siri, what do beavers eat?” And then Siri would tell us. I was like, “Do they hibernate?” And he would look it up. He just kept looking up all my questions. I felt like so nice that somebody actually took time to answer my questions and I knew more. I was truly curious. And I thought, ‘Well, that is what I should be doing for my kids.’ Not, “I do not know,” or, “I will look it up later.” Actually, look it up. I do, but I felt it. That aha, that I felt.
PAM: Yes, like you were in their shoes again. Back to the Anna story, right? That feeling of having your questions be treated as valuable.
TATIANA: Like being seen, right?
PAM: Being seen. Yes. That is beautiful.
Now our last question, what is your favorite thing about your unschooling days right now?
I was thinking recently that I am really enjoying my kids at the moment. I always enjoy them but, I just really, really like it right now. I do not know if it is going to change or if it is always going to be like that, like it is right now. The kids are ten and eight at the moment. They are still so innocent but at the same time mature enough to have in depth conversations that weave from one subject to the next. They are mentally stimulating conversations that everybody is enjoying.
I like waking up together and chatting about the dreams that we had the night before. I love when we have slow days at home. The activities that the kids have at the moment are also the ones that they truly, truly wanted and that they truly, truly enjoy. Then when they enjoy them so much, it brings me joy watching them. That is kind of it. I do not know if you wanted to know any specifics.
PAM: Oh, no, no, no, I love that. It is like you are really enjoying your connection and your relationship and just how you guys are being together.
PAM: Yes. That is beautiful. That kind of relates back, you were talking about how when they are younger it is more hands on. It is more physical stuff but then as they get older it is so much more about because they can take care of a lot of the self-care stuff, and now it is more about conversations and connections and observation and support and just engaging with each other more mentally rather than physically, right?
PAM: It is brilliant.
TATIANA: It is observing. Like, there would be times where the kids would struggle with something you know like being shy to approach people or being shy to make friends. But right now Daniel he likes to scoot and he notice at skate clubs that kids would come with friends and they would scoot together, like scooter together. And exchange tips and tricks and he would watch them and say I want to have friends like that. I want to have friends with a similar interest. I said, “Why don’t we create our own scooter club with the homeschooling community and see who comes out and maybe you will make connections that way?”
And we did at the end of August, we called out to people who wanted to come. The same group of people comes once a week now for two and a half months. At the beginning, the kids were unsure and they were not talking but it was not as close. On Tuesday, this Tuesday I think, that we were there they saw kid who played in little groups and a couple here and a couple there and just chatting away. Really enjoying each other and those relationships are growing. It is just so nice to see and observe.
PAM: Oh, wow that is a great example. Yes. That is another great example too of you know just creating an environment. Like you talked about in the beginning how you loved creating your environment at home and it is just let us create an opportunity and see what comes of it, right? And if nothing really came of it, you would try something else. It is just exploring.
It is kind of the flow we get into is it not, as we are trying to create or connect or find the things that we think we are wanting, right? He was wanting to connect with some other kids around the scooters and you created an opportunity to see what would come of it. That is a really great approach.
Thank you, thank you very much for letting your mom speak to me today. I had a lot of fun, Tatiana, thanks so much for sharing so many great insights about your deschooling journey. It was awesome to hear them.
I know you have got a new project going on now too and can you share with people where they can connect with you on-line and find you there?
TATIANA: Yes, sure. I am most present on Facebook as Tatiana Plechenko. I created a blog that is very new, a baby blog, I have only two quotes there. It is SoulfulConnections.ca, it also has a presence on Facebook there is a page SoulfulConnections. Those are the best ways to find me.
PAM: That is awesome. I will put those links in the show notes. And thanks so much Tatiana, I really appreciate you spending time with me. Bye!
TATIANA: Thank you so much, Pam. Bye.


What is adequate housing?
#82925. Asked by joanne_karol. (Jul 05 07 6:20 AM)
This is the skeleton of a lengthy definition of "adequate housing" found in the reference link.|
What is Adequate Housing?
In 1991, in its General Comment No. 4, the UN Committee on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights defined "affordable housing." Paragraph 8 provides the definition (the full text of this definition is below).
"8. Thus the concept of adequacy is particularly significant in relation to the right to housing since it serves to underline a number of factors which must be taken into account in determining whether particular forms of shelter can be considered to constitute "adequate housing" for the purposes of the Covenant. While adequacy is determined in part by social, economic, cultural, climatic, ecological and other factors, the Committee believes that it is nevertheless possible to identify certain aspects of the right that must be taken into account for this purpose in any particular context. They include the following:
a) Legal security of tenure
b) Availability of services, materials, facilities and infrastructure
g) Culturally Adequate
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Holly Rowe takes a look at how Auburn quarterback Nick Marshall's mother was able to overcome her fear of flying to go watch her son play in the BCS title game.January 06, 2014
Nebraska defensive tackle Thad Randle is the son of another defensive tackle, his mother, who plays in a women's football league.September 14, 2013
Blair Angulo catches up with 2015 WR Cordell Broadus to talk recruiting, as well as the publicity and pressure that comes with being Snoop Dogg's son.June 12, 2013
The wife and son of the late Joe Paterno discuss their ignorance of sexual predators in the handling of the Jerry Sandusky scandal at Penn State.April 10, 2013


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|Posted on Thursday, April 03, 2003 - 05:27 pm: |
My commentary on War Stories is posted at the KLCC site. It will air on Tuesday, April 8th, from http://www.klcc.org or on fm radio at 89.7 for those in the area (and other transmitters for those on the coast or in Southern Oregon). Check the site for public ration station numbers.
I'm ready to go back to light comedy now.
|Posted on Friday, April 04, 2003 - 07:20 pm: |
Leslie, the website won't let me in, but I'll try again later.
|Posted on Saturday, April 05, 2003 - 06:09 am: |
Thanks for writing it. I don't blame you for needing to go back to light comedy but you were right to write that.
|Posted on Saturday, April 05, 2003 - 09:23 am: |
Thanks, Maureen. It was an interesting experience to record this piece. I had to do an out-of-body thing and pretend someone else was reading it to maintain my composure. I couldn't think about it very much or it made me too upset. Nina Hoffman was helping with production (we go in to record our commentaries at the same time) and her support made it a lot easier.
Writing for radio is a very strange thing. I practice at home but invariably there are phrases I cannot manage when I'm in the studio, so there are always last minute changes. It turns out "Peace Treaties" is very difficult to voice. "Treaties" is a little easier. I also found I couldn't say that my relatives were gassed -- too emotional -- but saying they were murdered was something I could do.
When I left the studio, I told my news director, "That's why I write comedy."
|Posted on Sunday, April 06, 2003 - 05:16 pm: |
I don't think I've ever written anything that meant as much to me personally. Is writing for radio at all like doing a reading?
|Posted on Tuesday, April 08, 2003 - 08:30 am: |
It's funny because your work reads as if it means a great deal on a very personal level.
Writing for radio is sort of like a reading. You can spell things phonetically and emphasize stuff in the text and use voices.
The biggest dif (for me) is knowing I can't rely on visual interest. Nobody will be looking to see if I have boogers up my nose or see my facial expression. So everything has to be in the voicing or the piece may lose the interest of a listener.
|Posted on Wednesday, April 09, 2003 - 07:57 pm: |
Well, my work does mean a great deal to me on a personal level--but I think there's a difference between fiction and one's murdered family.
I like giving readings, though. I like voice effects--not necessarily doing voices so much as the swoop and cadence of a reading.
|Posted on Wednesday, April 09, 2003 - 08:04 pm: |
I heard you last night :-)
|Posted on Thursday, April 10, 2003 - 11:35 am: |
Maureen, I've kept away from first person nonfiction narratives because I dislike being so obviously part of the story. I appreciate the flexibility of fiction. There's a lot of stuff I don't especially want to talk about but would hate to see lost.
Greg has said I should beware when writing Holocaust fiction and I think he's right. It's difficult to find the objectivity that I think makes for the most effective storytelling.
As for readings, I'm getting much better at them and I think the radio stuff has helped. Especially with timing.
Ellen, I forgot it was radiothon at the station :0
But you heard Nina's and my radio editor and the newscaster who sometimes calls us "Double Trouble."


In YouTube Right Now, the Daily Dot looks at videos that catch our eyes, push our buttons, and move our dials—and that you’ve just got to watch. Right now!
Bears—the number one threat to America, according to Stephen Colbert—are now mimicking human idiosyncrasies, like hand-waving.
Or so it appears from a seven-second video on YouTube currently clogging the Internet tubes.
Uploaded last year by homefry815, “Polite Bear Waves Hello” was discovered by social news site Reddit yesterday in multiple posts. Views of the waving bear shot up from around 1,000, to over 400,000 in a 24-hour period—and viewers are still tuning in.
The bear, who resides on the Olympic Game Farm in Washington, is 20 years old and named “Twinkles,” wrote Robert L. Beebe, the President of OGF, in an e-mail to the Daily Dot.
“Twinkles was never formally trained to wave or do any of her other actions–she has learned from the tourists and other bears” wrote Beebe. “Bears are an extremely intelligent animal with very unique characteristics and personalities.”
Beebe explained the waving comes from tourists tossing wheat bread to her. That “reinforces the action–this is called positive reinforcement and very effective for both the animal and trainer.”
Originally a sanctuary for orphaned wildlife in 1942, Olympic Game Farm served as a filming location for Walt Disney’s nature films and opened to the public in 1972. The farm allows only wheat bread, authorized by the USDA, to be handed out by tourists to the animals, which include yak, llama, bison, elk, and deer.
“Polite Bear Waves Hello” is just one of many videos on YouTube of the bears on Olympic Game Farm waving to passerbys.
Just don’t tell Stephen Colbert.


Why I care about programming and how to teach it
This is the thirty-fifth SIGCSE conference. Off-by-one bugs notwithstanding, it seems safe to assume that the members of the SIGCSE community have been teaching programming for at least 35 years. Have we improved the teaching of programming in that time? We have changed languages, we have occasionally changed paradigms, and the platform we use to teach programming is effectively infinitely more powerful than it was 35 years ago. However, if we use the SIGCSE proceedings as a snapshot of the state-of-the-art in teaching programming, it's possible to take a view that "the more things change the more they remain the same." In this talk I'll review what the community has had to say about teaching programming and what it is saying today. The community does not always speak in one voice, but there are established trends that illuminate what we as a community view as important. In 1974 David Gries discussed how we should teach programming and used this analogy: "Suppose you attend a course in cabinet making. The instructor briefly shows you a saw, a plane, a hammer, and a few other tools, letting you use each one for a few minutes. He next shows you a beautifully-finished cabinet. Finally, he tells you to design and build your own cabinet and bring him the finished product in a few weeks. You would think he was crazy!" As part of this talk I will demonstrate how I teach program-building and why I think that if we do not program in front of our students we cannot effectively teach programming. I hope to convince you that programming should be taught by demonstration and that I am not crazy.
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Let the funds begin...4.56 / 5.00 38,066 Views
Detective Nwar faces off with two thieves who planned on laughing all the way to the bank.4.27 / 5.00 4,515 Views
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I really wanted to upload something to newgrounds since I was young. Unfortunately I've lost all of my semi decent movies so I've attempted to recreate one of them. VERY badly :D. Hope you enjoy this movie for all of its failures. Also... Please give constructive criticism.
*Edit* - Originally had audio (very badly done... was SUPER out of sync, so re-loaded with no audio)


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This issue contains:
- The specialty of the month: Edubuntu
- Uploading a source code to Launchpad
- Security of our children on Linux
- Scribus - Part 4
- Interview: Colin Watson
- Preview: Miro 0.9.8
- My story is a good name
- Beginners and Ubuntu
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The number can be downloaded from the following link in epub format.


The Atiku/Okowa Campaign Organisation has called on the Independent National Electoral Commission, INEC, and Nigerians to continue to resist the pressure to postpone the 2023 general elections.
The party’s campaign organisation gave the advice in a statement by its spokesperson, in Abuja on Sunday.
Mr Ologbondiyan said desperate call for a postponement of the 2023 elections was part of plots designed to cause panic, create an atmosphere of political uncertainty, destabilise the electoral process and foist an undemocratic situation on the country.
He urged Nigerians and INEC to remain at alert and continue to resist the plan to derail Nigeria’s democracy.
He said that Nigerians were ready for the 2023 general elections as already scheduled by INEC.
Mr Ologbondiyan added that Nigerians were resolute in their determination to free the nation.
He added that Nigerians were ready to vote in PDP Presidential Candidate, Atiku Abubakar as the next president, to begin the work of rebuilding and returning the nation on the path of unity, peace, national stability and economic prosperity.
By Umar Audu
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This week has definitely flown by me. It wasn’t filled with much success either. We placed a baptismal date with a less active member’s husband for the 22nd of November and for the next few days I was in the other area helping out. My comp got sick and with Elder Aguilar in a cast it was slightly difficult to work things out. My comp is all ready feeling better so this week should be different.
I think will be going to Monte Caseros this week to ship all the stuff from the old pench to Libres. That area was closed about 6 months ago. We will also be traveling to Curuzú Cuatiá to do a special district meeting for the elders of that district. I hope to be able to spend more time in my area than out of it.
Last Saturday we finished painting the school we cleaned about two weeks ago. It used to be green and pink and is now green and aqua green. I was thinking green and white would be nice but whatever. My comp thought red, white, and green would be a good color combination. He probably would have wanted a few eagles with snakes here and there. Haha.
Time is running short and my comp and I really want to baptize a family but things are tough. We spoke with three Brazilian men the other day. They spoke in Portuguese and we spoke in Spanish. I was pleasantly surprised to the fact that I could understand them fairly well. We talked for about an hour outside of the gas station they were eating in.
My companion continues to help Elder Hinostroza to build some muscles. When we started exercising he couldn't even do one pull up by himself. After two weeks of exercises he can do two whole pull ups by himself. He can do thirty or more with the help of Elder Ramos. Elder Ramos wants to make him into a man before he goes home in January.
It rained like crazy on Sunday and hardly anyone went to church. However, we had a really spiritual fast and testimony meeting. I’ve been thinking a lot about the atonement this weekend and how it works and all that stuff. I’ve gained a much better understanding of it and I’m even more grateful for it. I know that we are able to become clean and that justice will be satisfied because a perfect being suffered for things he had not done. I love our Lord and Savior with all my heart and know that he died for me. God will hold us accountable for those things that we do without repenting but he will be more than merciful when it comes to things we repented of. I love the gospel and wish more people would come unto Christ and receive the joy and peace that he gives freely. I love you all and we’ll speak soon. Chau


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1252 days ago
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King of Afro rap, Olamide and The Mayor Of Lagos are finally ready to drop their 2019 collaboration. The duo apparently made sweet music in 2019, but for reasons best known to them, they didn’t release it.
However, yesterday March 19, 2022, Mayorkun took to his Tik Tok page to preview the collaboration. The Mayor of Lagos also hinted that he and Olamide will finally be dropping the collaboration after 3 years.
The name of the song is yet to be disclosed, but from the preview, we can tell it’s a mad jam. Listen below
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If you check out the code, you'll see its naught but a bunch of colored circles. A variation from earlier QBasic code I wrote, this cart is easy for anyone to see how the candy is made. :)
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At Osgoode Hall on Monday, in a beautiful old courtroom with creaky wooden benches, Rob Ford sat stone-faced and silent for nearly six hours as lawyers involved in his appeal process debated whether he should keep his job as mayor of Toronto.
His silence was a gift to himself.
Last September, during his last major stint in a courtroom over these same Municipal Conflict of Interest Act allegations, Ford doomed his own case on day one when he took the stand and provided confusing, nonsensical testimony. It was then that he claimed to have his own definition of what a “conflict of interest” entails. It was then that he admitted that he never read the Act itself, or even bothered to familiarize himself with the city council handbook.
That testimony went a long way toward earning the ruling that found Ford guilty of “willful blindness” — a ruling that ultimately put his job in jeopardy.
Luckily, the mayor didn't have to speak yesterday. Instead, he let lawyer Alan Lenczner do the talking for him. Opposing counsel Clayton Ruby did, at times, read directly from a transcript of Ford's September testimony, but, coming out of Ruby's mouth, Ford's earlier statements sounded so ridiculous as to strain credibility. It was as if they were lines from a bad attempt at Rob Ford parody. At the very least, it seemed fair to assume that Ruby was quoting the mayor out of context.
But they weren't parody, and Ruby's context was fair. Anyone who sat in that courtroom back in September would say as much. But the three Divisional Court justices who will ultimately rule on this appeal will never hear Ford's arguments in his own words. And that fact may just give the mayor a slightly better chance at pulling out a win than he would have had otherwise.
But only a slightly better chance.
I still don't really buy the arguments coming from the Ford side. The idea that Ford's contravention of the Act was an error in judgment or inadvertent don't really stand up to a fair look at what actually happened. And the suggestion that the amount of money in question is too small to be of any consequence to Ford is laughable. This is a guy who fought tooth and nail to stop the practice of charging a measly five cents for plastic bags. To him, literally every amount of money is of consequence.
Lenczner spent much of his allotted time arguing the ultra vires angle, pushing the idea that this whole darn courthouse is affair is irrelevant because the integrity commissioner and city councillors never had the legal authority to order the mayor to repay the funds he raised in the first place. This turned out to be a slightly more effective line of attack. But even that argument feels wobbly given that Ford had ample opportunity to pursue that legal avenue and never bothered to do so.
But, hey, maybe the judges will feel differently. Forced to guess, I'd put my money on a ruling that upholds the lower court decision and for real boots Ford from office. But I wouldn't be too surprised to see things go the other way — especially after yesterday's day in court. When Ford's involved, nothing is ever predictable.
Right now, only one thing is certain: the future of Toronto now lies in the hands of three District Court justices. Let's hope they figure this out quickly.
This post was originally published at http://www.metronews.ca/views/toronto/ford-for-toronto-matt-elliott/2013/01/08/at-appeal-hearing-mayor-rob-ford-benefits-from-his-own-silence.html on 2013-01-08T00:00:00.000Z


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This blanket heats up very quickly. I use one year round. All Sunbeam Blankets are tested and approved by a 3rd party (UL or ETK Intertek) to comply with industry safety standards.
Stylish channel pattern and hemmed edges finish off the blanket with sophistication. These heated bedding products were made to work with 110V Electrical systems. This comfortable warming blanket is perfect for getting rid of the chills. Sunbeam Channeled Microplush Heated Electric Blanket Full Mushroom Washable Auto Shut Off 10 Heat Settings. I have always bought Sunbeam electric blanks because of the quality. This button opens a dialog that displays additional images for this product with the option to zoom in or out. Reviewed in the United States on January 27, 2020, Blankets of soft but quality and longevity is poor, Reviewed in the United States on September 19, 2019. The beautiful ultra-soft microplush fabric is smooth to the touch. Current selection is: Choose an option, Actual Color. There's a problem loading this menu right now.
Air dry or tumble dry on low heat, wash alone, do not bleach and do not iron.
Good news — You can still get free 2-day shipping, free pickup, & more. If you are at an office or shared network, you can ask the network administrator to run a scan across the network looking for misconfigured or infected devices. Showing 1 - 2 of 2 Sunbeam® Channeled Microplush Heated Blanket Sunbeam® Quilted Fleece Heated Blanket … View and shop available Sunbeam® Electric Blankets.
Select Option. 100% Polyester. THERAPUETIC FULL BODY RELIEF WITH ADJUSTABLE HEAT SETTINGS – The cozy Channeled Microplush blanket has ultra-thin heating wires for added comfort. Fabric Care Instructions: Machine Washable and Dryer Safe, Here at Walmart.com, we are committed to protecting your privacy. Sunbeam® Microplush Heated Blanket with Digital Display Controller +2. Channeled Microplush Electric Blanket - Sunbeam®, undefined out of 5 stars with undefined reviews, CERTIFIED SAFETY: ETL testing ensures safe heating technology, THERMOFINE® WIRING: Our exclusive warming system senses and adjusts heat to deliver consistent warmth while you sleep, EASY CLEAN & SATISFACTION GUARENTEED: 5 Year Limited Warranty and Machine Washable material ensures years of worry-free use, SOFT AND COZY MATERIAL: Indulge yourself with ultra soft Microplush, wrapping you in warmth throughout the night or as you relax, EASY TO USE: Includes one SleekSet controller, which provides 10 Heat Settings with 10 Hour Auto-Shutoff and LCD Display for peace of mind, FIND YOUR PERFECT SIZE: Twin Size measures 39"x 75", Do Not Sell My Personal Information - CA Resident Only. Do not cover or wrap the controller and make sure both items are in a well ventilated area when in use. These heated bedding products were made to work with 110V Electrical systems.
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More Than 4x the Size of an Average Throw Blanket, Cooling Blanket for Night Sweats and Hot Flashes. Please try your search again later.
Twin and Full size include 1 controller. Your IP: 18.104.22.168 Please make sure that you are posting in the form of a question.
Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. The blanket is available in Twin, Full, Queen, and King sizes, with dual controls and split elements for the Queen and King sizes.
Reviewed in the United States on March 21, 2019. The beautiful ultra-soft microplush fabric is smooth to the touch. core-pageview.
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Indulge in the rich softness of the King Size Sunbeam Channeled Microplush Heated Blanket in Garnet Red. There was a problem completing your request. Your recently viewed items and featured recommendations, Select the department you want to search in. They allow you to save up to 10 percent a year on your heating bills by turning on your heated blanket and setting your thermostat down by 10-15 percent for 8 hours while sleeping.
Indulge in the rich softness of the Full Size Sunbeam Channeled Microplush Heated Blanket in Mushroom.
The beautiful ultra-soft microplush fabric is smooth to the touch. Overheat protection promotes a safe user experience. I like the light weight warmth this blanket delivers. Stylish channel pattern and hemmed edges finish off the blanket with sophistication. Skip to main content.
Make sure to disconnect and remove controllers before washing. Good price, good reviews, liked the plush material.
Twin and Full size include 1 controller. 1 Electric Heated Blanket in ultra soft comfortable Channeled Microplush fabric. The Controller has 10 heat settings and 10 hour auto off, allowing you to get just the right temperature and allows you to turn down your thermostat to save energy and money. I love this blanket. Reviewed in the United States on February 22, 2019. Do not cover or wrap the controller and make sure both items are in a well ventilated area when in use. Sorry, but we can't respond to individual comments.If you need immediate assistance, please contact Customer Care.
See how a store is chosen for you. Curl up and relax in head-to-toe toastiness when you need added warmth. Climb into your toasty bed and sleep soundly with the Sunbeam Electric Heated Microplush Channeled Blanket. Walmart+ helps you save more time & money this holiday.
If you are on a personal connection, like at home, you can run an anti-virus scan on your device to make sure it is not infected with malware. To ensure we are able to help you as best we can, please include your reference number: King and Queen Sizes have dual controllers, Twin and Full Sizes have single controllers. Skip to content. MACHINE WASHABLE and EASY CARE – The blanket is machine washable and dryer safe for your convenience.
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