User,Post,Label
user-0,"['Its not a viable option, and youll be leaving your wife behind. Youd Pain her beyond comprehension.It sucks worrying about money, I know that first hand. It can definitely feel hopeless, as you seem to be Tired aware of. Your wife might need to chip in financially. I know time is an issue, but even 10-15 hours a Asthenia could alleviate a lot of the pressure. In the meantime, get your shit together - write that resume tomorrow. No excuses, get it done and send it out. Whether you believe in some sort of powerful being or force governing things or not, things really do work themselves out. This is a big test for you, and youll pull through. Just try to stay as positive as you can and everything will work out.']",Supportive
user-1,"['It can be hard to appreciate the notion that you could meet someone else who will make you happy when you are so deeply in love with your boyfriend. Your desires are set on him and not much else will make you happy at the moment. But over time the mind has a way of dealing with loss, this is a proven fact in psychology. Over time, one day you will arrive at a level where you again feel at peace and can start feeling comfortable at looking into new relationships.It is certainly uncomfortable dealing with your current situation but do understand that with some time and patience the Pain will go away and you will get through the difficulties that many US students are encountering with debt, unemployment and undervalued degrees.These are problems that many of us are facing right now, you are not alone. It is crushing to face all these difficulties at the same time, but getting through them is what is going to make us stronger, smarter and more emotionally aware than any generation that came before us. ', 'The voice is just a voice. People can praise you, people can hate you but it doesnt change who you are. Think about it. People can come up to you and say you are awesome, but does that change you in any way? No. It is a psychological thing.Think about how absurd it is what you are saying here. A little voice is telling you to kill yourself, so youre actually going to do it?If I went up to a random person and told them to kill themselves, they would probably walk away from me.You should persevere. You do so by not identifying with it. It might always be there, negative feelings and thoughts always present themselves to us when we are vulnerable. But a voice is just a voice, it is not us, and we only suffer under its rule when we allow it an ear.This happens to everyone, it is just a matter of depth. Suicidal people have invested a lot of energy into ""I"" thoughts, such as ""I am worthless, I am miserable"". And you breathe life right into them by doing that, and they come back to sap more life. Let them starve!Any insult against you is worthless unless you give it credit. It is like a cheque that bounces at the bank.So dont give into your negative thoughts and feelings. Stop giving them credit. This is hard in the beginning, and hard over time, but you know you can actually be content and live a decent life if you take this seriously. Stop giving the ""I"" so much credit.', 'You indeed sound Tired bipolar. Bipolar is when you take things to such extremes. It is a terrible illness. I suffered it myself at one point, and have taken lithium and a variety of other medications to deal with it. Its not so bad. It helps. But ultimately the problem is a psychological one. Youre going to have to feel your way around your body and understand your own psychological profile, your triggers and so forth.What is also Tired important to note that bipolarity is a two way street. You might have these extreme moments of aversion (the knife carving incident), but what people dont realize is that you also have your moment of desires, or what I mean by that is, you go way too far into the things you love.If you were just a bit more indifferent about things youd stabilize a great deal, I think, having had the illness. Obviously stop taking drugs and stuff like that if youre taking them, but also stop staying up so late, or doing whatever it is you do to an extreme. Live a balanced life. Bonus points if you find that life boring. Acclimate to that and make it your new norm, a stable life is a happy life. Live a stable life where you are relatively indifferent to most things, you will enjoy your accumulated efforts over the years and you will be pleased. Do NOT go into extremes of Pain and pleasure, which is essentially what you are doing. Leave well enough alone.', 'You will always come back so much stronger afterwards. Ive been cheated on in at least one or two long term relationships, sometimes I dont know if the girl was faithful in one of the relationships, I digress... it is extremely painful, you will suffer for months on end but when you come out of it you will be better than you were before, hardened by fire. Then you will meet somebody worth your time. The person Im going out with now is the best person Ive ever gone out with by far... the experience will prove that you are worth someone who is loyal and awesome.', 'You should never allow yourself the space to feel those feelings. They are not some sort of natural feeling as people say they are. Any sort of feeling that started back when you were a teenager aught to be called into question. We all have many stupid feelings as a teenager. The problem is when those follow you into adulthood.I know people who are over 26 years old and engaging in the exact same habits that they were since they were 13. I mean thats just sad. When are they going to grow up and move on? Why do people get stuck with such old sufferings?Life is Tired hard, it is a constant improv but there are different ways of looking at it. Not everything is ""bad"". Just because youre suffering doesnt mean you need to take it so deeply to heart. I mean come on, you have a family that loves you. I avoid a lot of problems because I try not to focus on myself so much. I think of what I can do for others. This might sound egotistical in itself but really you have to understand the notion behind it. When we think with our mind, we always become Tired miserable. We never become happy through the way we think. Nothing is ever perfect or good when our mind has a say in it.But when youre trying to help others, its through the heart. And it feels good to help them. It makes one happy.I always recommend in these difficult times that people stop placing so much importance on their mind. Never allow negative thoughts inside your mind. Protect yourself with positive emotion. If robbers were pounding on your door, would you open the door to them? No. But then Suicidal thoughts come, and they are just as bad as murderers and those who want to harm your wife and family. Why do you allow them space?It is Tired important for you to manage your mind. If you have difficultly conjuring positivity in your interior world, then you need to step back and question why that is? What is holding you back from being a happy person?Quite often you will find it is these ""old friends"", these thoughts you identify with so much and feel to be so real. Its almost like they understand you.Well you made them with your thoughts, they subsist on your energy that they gain from you eating your food. Its entirely personalized.That is why it is so difficult to stop identifying with the thoughts. But you have to realize, they are coming to you, so theyre not you. Theyre just thoughts. Youre in control. You dont need to feed into that destructive cycle. Force the negative thoughts out, constantly demand that they stay out. Cultivate positivity, love your wife and child, do things to make them happy. Absorb that in.Positivity drives the negative thoughts out. Negative thoughts when accepted destroy the positivity. Its a real dragon and tiger scenario, but you need to stick on the good side. Never give the enemy an inch. Theyll take a mile. Retire your old way of thinking. It is a failed way. It has done you no good. Open your mind up, embrace positivity. Have a revolution, insist on embracing life. Well all die, sooner or later but lets have a part in bringing happiness to this planet while we can. We need people like you to help us, to come and help others. You are strong, youve made it this far. But you made a mistake, you leave the door open to that old enemy. Close it, close it every time and bar it off. You are not that thought of suicide. ', 'I was like you once, I was miserable and broken. Almost ended up with my life completely ruined, I lived way too dangerously and almost lost my freedom, ex long term girlfriend and everything I loved. I turned my life around, picked up the pieces and built a new life out of it. Now my life is exciting, I am talking to a beautiful new gal, am progressing well in my studies and everything is looking up. Do not identify with the down times in your life. It always seems like it will never get better but thats not true. Eventually good things do happen, but we all have to do our part too.', 'Dont be so hard on yourself man. Ive lived on my own for only like five months and Im 27. It is extremely expensive to do that sort of thing nowadays. Back in the day, you used to be able to build a house out of logs and a guy your age could have 6 kids already. Nowadays many are lucky to buy a house by the time they are 50.Dont get all tied up in with this society. It will burn you out. It doesnt care about who you are inside, it just cares with what you can do. Mechanical labor.Be OK with taking some time for yourself. Stop dating for a while. Be OK with taking some time to relax. You are too wound up. You arent going to find happiness by ""doing things"". No matter how big the check list or how many things you check off, that does not necessarily mean you will have lived a Tired successful life.Instead, take some time to get to know yourself. When you lay down to have a nap, dont completely go to sleep, just rock back and forth a little bit to barely stay away, and just feel yourself in the bed, just be aware you are there and keep doing that over and over again. Feelings will come to you and thoughts will come to you but you will become more aware of them. Just really feel them and get to understand them.You can change how everything is. The reason you have all these girls cheat on you is because you cannot see them for how they are. Youre not able to see their real values, youre not able to see who they are by just looking into their eyes.Take some time and read some philosophy from ancient Greece, appreciate some fine art, read Wikipedia.Its OK to take time. If you just go out there again like a wild animal, you will be in a wild chaotic abyss of angst, Fear and listlessness. ', 'Just be. Look at how you are thinking here:""Ive never been good at anything. I suck at school, sports, art..everything. I have considered suicide on and off pretty much since I was 13(Im 20 now). I never had friends Tired long, they always decided they didnt like me and stopped talking to me.""Each of these thoughts is self enforcing. They were created by you and fed by you. And they will cease to exist when you stop feeding into them. It is a negative thought cycle.No self respecting person accepts negative thoughts, negative emotions or negative people. Try to see the good in everything, to watch nice things and be around people who give you positive feelings.If your boyfriend is just sticking around for the money... well then, that doesnt sound Tired positive, does it? Only you can know if he contributes positive value to your life.But how foolish it is to assume that by going through the same psychological cycles that things would improve. Life works in cycles. Everyones goes to work, goes home and watches TV. That is hardly unusual nowadays.The difference is, people can deal with that because they dont think negative thoughts about themselves. You have to close the doors to all negativity, it is up to you. When you open the doors to negative emotion, then it will sap you greatly.Spend some time around your mother. See the positive in your relationship with her. She can teach you a lot. But you have to be willing to learn.']",Ideation
user-2,"['Hi, so last night i was sitting on the ledge of my window contemplating whether or not i should jump. My dad had just choked me and told me that i should get out of the house, and earlier he had called me a bum. To me it seemed as though there was no reason to keep living, the people that are supposed to care about you the most dont. But one thing echoed in my mind, and that was something one of my best friends had told me: you dont help yourself. And reading through your post made me feel like thats also the case for you. Maybe instead of cutting things out, add some things into your life. Go outside, take a deep breath, and talk to somebody new. I dont know your financial situation, but if you can take lessons, join a gym, take classes, the most important thing is you do something for YOU. Be a little selfish, take yourself out to eat in your favorite restaurant once in a while. Try some new food, but do something. If you do read this, please know a lot of people feel pain, youre not alone. <3', 'if you want to, please pm me', 'There are always people that want to listen and help, you just have to find them. You found me, a random stranger who happened to click on this subreddit and this post the night after he almost committed suicide in order to find help. I realize that its difficult to change the mindset of how it all seems to be hopeless and bleak but theres one thing that i can ask, and thats: do you help yourself? Youre working for a fortune 100 company, but was that what you wanted to do? Do you have hobbies to take your mind off things? Are you taking classes in things that interest you or spending time doing things you enjoy? If not then please start. Maybe this is the time to start joining a gym, playing a sport, reconnecting with old acquantences if you still have any contact information of old friends, just make sure to do something for yourself.', 'Please listen, nobody makes the best decisions all the time. Theres no way to be perfect, and right now i dont doubt that it seems like there is no way out from that black pit, but committing suicide wont help that, i dont know what your exact situation is but there is a way out. Consider all of the decisions you can make this moment, and know that dying isnt the only decision. I probably cant do much more then tell you what you already have heard countless times: things get better. But its only the people that keep living that get to experience it. ']",Behavior
user-3,"['I tried to kill my self once and failed badly cause in the moment i wanted to do it i realized that i want to live! I still have Suicidal thoughts and i often question myself why i even carry on! to be honest i cant give you a catch-all conclusion for that prob. But what really helped me was changing my life rapidly like 360 degrees! i started doing sports although ive always been a loonly gamer... i also made some friends and i managed to get a girlfriend whom i really love! To come to a point this might be no reasons for you to live on... I can only tell you that you have to figure out yourself if theres something worth living! In my point of view it can only get better cause if you kill yourself its already over! Why not see what comes next is my personal attitude since a while !All the best', 'Keep your head up! I know that feeling you got right now but there is always a reason to carry on! Suicide is never a proper solution! There are so many people who really like you as you wrote yourself friends and so on whom are worth living on for! Even if life can be a real asshole sometimes there is always a second chance!  When did you stop giving yourself a second chance? Dont give up hope! I belief you can find someone who loves you the way you are ! you just have to carry on! Try to talk to friends or your parents if you feel down! Explain to them that you feel so loonely! This helped me alot! Just carry on i beliefe in you! All the Best PAul  ', 'Hang in there i know that feeling! I know the Feeling hopeless you feel right now so well! Ive also experienced challenging stuff in the past months! I have been in hospital for like 5 months in the past year! In addition to that i was struggeling hard in school due to my ilnesses! Furthermore i did attempt to kill myself like 4 years ago... But all of this shit has only made me stronger has made me to the person i am right now! Today im at university... i mean not everything is perfect now but what i figured out is that there is always something worth carrying on! I now have new friends and moved out from my parents house! its a good feeling to live alone although im still dependent on my parents in some ways cause im a student! Sport and playing guitar really helped me to deal with my all day depressions... always when i notice that i fall back to me depressive patterns i go to the gym or play my favourite song on guitar (even if i cant play it to well)! somehow this reminds me that there is always smth that makes me feel better! Just carry on and dont be afraid of rapidly changing smth. in your life! Sometimes change is what you need to get on and find yourself!', 'I know exactly how it feels to be under constant Pain. Ive experienced intense Pain which kept me from even getting out of my bed for more than a year... the Pain was mostly caused by a nerve which was injured...  furthermore my doctors told me that it was partly produced on a psychological basis. I had to take extremly strong painkillers for a long period of time which lead to a easily recognizable twist in my character... i was frequently aggressive aswell as feeling Drowsy and Anxiety most of the time. In addition to that i felt so much hatred for the rest of the world because i felt it was so unguilty that i had to suffer such Pain while other people whom were also my age (im 18 btw.) where at good health. Today im nearly 19 and after several extremly Exhaustion hospital treatments ive overcome the worst Pain. What i want to tell you is that you can overcome all that! There will come better times! Now im in a happy relationship im selfconfident again and ive managed to recognize that my character consists of more than this period where i was sick! Ive also thought of commiting suicde frequently because my childhood wasnt that nice either... i was buillied frequently and my mother suffered from breast cancer... all in all it was a really hard time.. i had no friends and with 15 i tried to commit suicde. but today i know that its no good solution! If you commit suicide you give away the chance to become happy again.. to meet people who like you the way you are and who understand what youve been through! I know it often seems as if the Pain would never end but believe me im convienced better times will come you can make it if you only hold trough! Never give up on yourself ! you are more than just Pain! You have overcome so much by now keep going otherwise all the struggeling would have been useless! Always remind yourself that there are still things you want to experience when your healthy again! YOu can make keep your head up!!! ']",Attempt
user-4,"['Hi NEM3030. What sorts of things do you enjoy doing?', 'Personally, I always welcome music suggestions with open arms. Nothing like losing yourself in music, escaping for even just a few moments.', 'I am only a bit older than you, and oh, its maybe not useful, or comforting, but you have my support. Rarely is a day where I dont suffer from thoughts of self-harm... I hope your days get steadily better. I really do. Best of luck to you.Edit: Hobbies. That really keeps me going. I hope improving a skill will make things brighter for you too. ', 'I too, am a lady, and I agree with Ray_adverb12s advice 100%. I feel the exact same as you, only I am a female. :(', 'My little brother possibly killed himself and let me tell you, its been months and I havent gone a day without sobbing and considering suicide and feeling like my ribs were splitting apart. Please /u/Holy_Panda, dont end your life, or your brother may Tired well end his. He will never, ever get over it. Grief will color his world grey for the rest of his life. ', 'You are such a brave person for going through all this... Stay strong. <3']",Ideation
user-5,"['Since I dont know what DBT is, would you mind explaining it to me a little bit more? I am really sorry to hear that someone who is supposed to be helping you is actually really mean to you. Thats definitely not right and not fair. Are there people other than that person who you can talk to? Im honestly not sure why they shunned you and it sounds like you dont know, either. But Im not sure if that would have anything to do with tomorrow.Your plan sounds really Pain for you. Just to make sure I understand, you have 30 ish cuts on each arm, so 60 in total? Im Tired concerned for your safety, throwaway_lives. What symptoms are you having?', 'Wanting to wake up and have your life to have been a bad dream sounds like you are Tired scared. Hitting rock bottom is also not a pleasant thing to experience. Is the DBT lady the one who conducts the therapy sessions with you?', 'It sounds like you are feeling really scared. So much so that you want to kill yourself. Im concerned about your safety. Especially since you said that youve been carrying out a plan for suicide. Is there a chance that we could talk about it?', 'Yeah, I bet that would make you really tired. 9 days in a row is a lot of days to work! I can hear that youre feeling a lot better. If you ever need any support, you can always message me. Like I said, my schedule is really sporadic, but I will get to you in time.', 'Have you shared the thoughts and feelings youve been sharing with me with your therapist and care coordinator? Even though your care coordinator has been mean to you, I would hope that she would be willing to help you.Im super concerned about your safety right now. Youve said that youve reopened the wounds. Are they Bleeding? I want to keep talking to you, but Im concerned about your wounds. Did you open them up by picking at the Scab of skin or with a knife or something similar? I can hear that it is hard - almost impossible - for you not to try self-harm. But I am concerned because I want to keep talking with you as long as possible.', 'I hate it when managers do that. It really sucks. :C I used to have a manager that did that to me and I felt Tired frustrated because I was doing the best that I could.  It sounds like it was a good time for you and it sounds like youre feeling refreshed. ', 'I can understand why it would be hard to talk about if its taboo.Yeah, when no one is listening, its easy to feel ignored. I dont really know what all youve done, but I do know that its hard to meet new people. I also kind of feel the same way, that were all alone in the world. But I think thats why we need each other sometimes. Its hard to feel alone all the time.Okay. Take care until then.', 'Have you tried to tell her that you feel that shes being mean to you? Because, well, it is her job to help you. She might not even realize that shes being mean to you, if that makes sense. If you tell her that sometimes she makes you feel like vermin, maybe she will realize that she has done wrong things to you.Okay. Is the knife still there with you? Like I said, I really am concerned about your safety. And I want to keep talking with you until you dont want to talk anymore or you need to go to sleep. And Im Worried that the knife might get in the way of you staying safe while talking to me. I really just want to listen to you. And I can hear that you feel that you dont deserve it, but I feel that everyone deserves a listening ear when they need it.', 'Okay. Thank you for being honest with me.', 'Im sorry to hear that you had a bad night. Life is Tired frustrating, so I hope youre holding out okay.Im glad to be here. I know that my schedule is pretty fucked up, but I want to listen to you when I can. Thanks for the compliment. I think its pretty amazing that youre willing to be honest and open with an internet stranger.', 'Okay. I just didnt want you to think that I disappeared on you in the middle of our conversation. I really like the name Hope. Thats really cute. She sounds like shes been a good kitty to you through all of this. Not being able to open up to people around you who may be important to you sounds Tired lonely. I think youre strong for taking care of yourself through this all. Since I am Worried about your safety, Im wondering if theres a service in your area that you could reach out to to help you with the burden for now. Im not sure if seeing a therapist or going to a doctor would be an option for you. Im Worried that something might happen to you while Hope is alive and she wont have anyone to care for her anymore.', 'Sorry. I ran out to buy some cigarettes. Im back now. ', 'Sometimes you just get that little headbutt from your kitty and thats enough. I know that feeling. It sounds like the Spasm have been Tired Pain for you. I cant imagine what its like to have them. That seems Tired scary to me. Are there people who you talk to in your life that know about the Spasm? Like I said, it sounds Tired scary to me and like something that would be Tired difficult to deal with on your own. Im concerned about your well-being.', 'And, again, are the wounds Bleeding at all, a little, or a lot?', 'I like your cat already! King isnt really noisy, but hes definitely an asshole. He lives up to his name. Haha. The thing I love about animals so much is that they always seem to know when Im sad and want to comfort me. Is that the same experience youve had?I wonder if Hope would miss you at all if you were gone. I hear that Hope is a great support for you right now. But I think it might be worth it to find some support while shes still alive. It sounds stressful that your mom is looking for a new job and all, too. ', 'I know that this is kind of silly, but my favorite app game I like to play is 2048. You mentioned that you like strategy, so I think that you might like it. Im too addicted to that game. Do you find that those distractions help you?You know, at the beginning of the conversation, I heard that you were in a lot of Pain. Im just wondering, how are you feeling now?', 'Im sorry its taken me so long to reply. My schedule has a tendency to be really sporadic. Wow, yeah, when you said that they make you feel like youre dying, that sounds so scary to me! I dont know how severe they are, but they sound Tired severe to me. Im Worried something might happen to you while youre having a Spasm and your cat would be Worried about you. I know that you said that it didnt really worked out when you tried to talk to people about it before, but is there a person in your life who you would be comfortable reaching out to? It sounds like youre incredibly brave to deal with something so scary completely on your own.Also, I feel really weird calling your cat ""your cat"". Do they have a name? My cats name is King. Haha.', 'It sounds like that was Tired beneficial for you. It sounds like you had fun. It also sounds like you have a Tired tough time ahead of you. That sounds kind of intimidating.', 'I am honestly not sure what the A&E is or what their procedure might be. But that sounds really frustrating to me. I can understand why you feel like they dont want to help you. It sounds like youre Exhaustion from getting the runaround by A&E and stuff like that. I can hear that youre in Pain and Exhaustion so much that you want to kill yourself, but you said that theres a part of you that still wants to be helped. I can definitely see that part of you. Its the part of you that led you to post here and talk to the people on this thread. And, while I cant guarantee that they wont notice your wounds, I think that youve already waited months to get the appointment, just showing up would be giving that part of you that wants to live a chance. I am still Tired concerned about your safety, especially since you said that some of your wounds are infected. Would you mind talking to me about your plan a bit more? And the wounds? ', 'Yeah, rejection is a Tired hard thing to deal with. And I can understand that saying anything to her really makes you feel like youre putting yourself out on a limb. Whatever happened a long time ago between one of the therapists, have you managed to talk about it during a session? It sounds really unfair that they would still hold it against you.Thank you. Im not there with you, so I was naturally concerned. Thank you for being honest with me about what youve been going through. I think that it does take a lot of courage, even to post on the internet, to talk about Suicidal thoughts and self-harm. Im really glad that you were willing to talk to me.I really dont know if words can or will change anything, either. But, I just want to offer you support. If you want to stop talking at any time, I understand. I also want you to know that, when we stop talking, you can still PM me at any time. It might take me a hot minute to get back to you, but I will when I can. ', 'That sounds Tired frustrating. Especially since quitting a job or asking for days off is not an option for most people. It doesnt sound like its much of an option for you. ', 'Yeah, I think that animals understand people a lot. Sometimes more than other people. As strange as this might sound, I think your cat has been really great support to you. I understand why you would love your cat so much. Thinking about suicide all the time does sound really exhausting. And you mentioned having Spasm, which sounds really stressful to me. Has there been something in your life that has caused you to want to kill yourself?', 'Yeah, I think its pretty fun, but admit that its not for everyone. Yeah, having things kind of spring up on you can be really hard to deal with. Yeah, it does seem like making yourself not feel the Pain would make you feel empty. Having all that work, too, sounds Tired strenuous. ', 'Im sorry to hear about Socks passing away. I know that animals are different. But I am glad to hear that you love your cat and she loves your cat, too. It sound like youve been going through so many emotions. I am concerned about your safety. When you are feeling lonely, are there things that you try to do to keep your mind off of these things?', 'It sounds like your inability to meet people is a source of great Pain and frustration for you. And it has caused you to feel Tired alone. Thats Tired understandable. And Im glad that you posted and are talking to me, even though you are in Pain and isolated.', 'Its okay. I didnt mean to worry you. I can tell that you are scared. It sounds like some of the symptoms that you are going through arent good. Im not a paramedic or anything, so dont take my word on it. Would you say that DBT works for you? You said that one of them was mean to you, so are there other counselors/therapists available? Someone in that position who is supposed to help being mean is pretty disgusting IMO. You dont deserve someone being mean to you when you are vulnerable. ', 'It sounds like you really love your cat. And I totally understand that love. I love my cat, too. I dont think youre crazy for being concerned about your cats well-being. It also sounds like youre in a lot of Pain. If you dont mind sharing and want to talk, Im really curious about whats been on your mind lately.']",Supportive
user-6,"['No matter what you ever think, there will be people who care. Whether they are people like me, who youve most definitely never talked to before or seen, or even heard of, or the people youve known your whole life that youd never give a second glance to. Never. Give. Up. You have a wonderful life ahead of you, I promise. If God thought your life was done and not worth living anymore, He would kill you. You dont need to kill yourself. Please just be strong. If you ever need someone to talk to, Im here. ', 'I hope you didnt do it..', 'Try to forget about it? If not, melting ice on your skin might ease your mind. Just dont go overboard with anything. Best of luck!', 'I can understand why you dont want your parents to know, but I really think you should tell them. Id think they would find out sooner or later, especially since you have to tell the doctor. You could write it down and show them if that makes you more comfortable. Good luck, were all here for you. ', 'I hope you have a Tired lovely birthday. <3', 'Dont listen to your mom, just do whats best for you. It sounds like you need treatment anyway. Stay strong and dont give up! Many people would care if you killed yourself. Including me. ', 'Why not? You can only get better from here. Seek help before you give up entirely, please.', 'How did you feel in those 4 years? I bet it was better than how you feel now. You could do something in the place of cutting, like...snapping a rubber band against your wrist. If you ever need someone to talk to, Id be more than happy to talk to you. Dont give up.', 'This is awesome.', 'Im here.', 'Im proud of you.', 'Hey, hang in there. Every second that passes is another second closer you are to feeling happy, and another second youve survived feeling depressed. Youre right to think about how your girlfriend would react, because letting go of your Pain would just transfer it to her, and everyone who loves you. Concentrate on the things that you like to do, even if there arent Tired many, and push the negative thoughts out of your head. Its like learning a language: over time you begin to speak so fluently that you dont have to train yourself to think in the language, you just automatically do. The same goes for being happy. Over time, it will come naturally. Until then, just keep trying. I wish you the best!', 'Hang in there. Youll be happy that youre still alive in a few years. ', 'Im here for you as well, and Im more than willing to listen to you. Feel free to message me<3 You arent alone. Dont give up. ', 'Doing something I love and thinking, ""Why would I ever want to take this away from myself?"" That, and because suicide just transfers your Pain to a lot more people. Just isnt worth it.', 'Aw I like that show. And this is Tired nice of you :D', 'You are a lovely human being.', 'You dont deserve it at all...', 'I was kind of questioning if I wrote this. Sounds exactly like me.If you ever need anyone to talk to, Im here. ', 'Just try it! Youll recover with a good attitude. Dont give up.', 'You can talk to me any time.', 'I care. Everyone here cares. Dont forget that.', 'I love you and I hope you make the right decision--life. I guarantee you will find something worth living for in a matter of time, and at least you could get a pet puppy or something like that, someone that needs you as much as the people you dont even realize that need you. If you ever need someone to talk to (or rant to), feel free to message me. Im not some kind of psychiatrist but I do care more than you know. ', 'I really like it.', 'Suicide is never the only option. You arent a burden at all. You need to understand that you *will* get through this if you just wait long enough. Many people care a whole lot about you, and would hate to see you go. I know there are things in life that you dont want to do, but you cant forget about the amazing things that happen every single day. To me, it is worth it to just get a few minutes of happiness out of the day. Youre a strong person, keep it that way. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. Dont give up just yet.', 'I hope you didnt do it.', 'Dont think youre hideous, I can assure you that you arent. Please dont give up now. At the most, snap a rubber band against your wrist. It cant kill you. Cutting yourself can. If you ever need someone to talk to, Im here. ', 'I would suggest doing something healthier in place of cutting when you get the urge to do it. Draw on yourself where you would cut, melt an ice cube on your skin (which could give you the Pain satisfaction without the damage) or even something completely unrelated like drawing your feelings, writing, chewing gum, squeezing a Stress ball. Get yourself accustomed to a new habit that is healthier and instead of getting the urge to cut, you will get the urge to do the new thing. I hope this helps, Im also on reddit a lot if you need someone to talk to. Feel free to message me anytime. ', 'Im so sorry your fiance was such a jerk. That mustve Pain way too much.  You cant give up, though. If you kill yourself, youre also killing a baby that could have a wonderful life. You could have a wonderful life as well. What if you meet a new man? What if you make a new friend? There are tons of things that could happen to you that you havent even given a second though to, but would make your life so much better. Dont give up, I know you can get through this. ', 'I agree with both of you in different ways. Although Depression is not something that you can simply tell yourself to get over, you do have responsibilities outside of it. Maybe spending time with your son will even help cheer you up, I dont know, but you cant forget about him. He hasnt forgotten about you.']",Supportive
user-7,"['Dont see it as failing at killing yourself, theres a reason why you lived. Theres something for you here on Earth. If you need someone to talk to you can come to me and Ill talk to you. Okay? People have to be there for other people, and you need someone there for you. We can talk and help you through these tough times. ', 'It almost seems like life really isnt worth the living anymore. But you shouldnt end you life. What if suddenly the economy flips for the better in a month or so? Then you may have a chance. But if I were in your situation, I would try to find what made Multiple sclerosis happy. I would most likely pack up stuff one day, leave my house and dead beat job and just drive. Not saying to run away from your problems, but it may be healthy to just get away from the bullshit for a while. Hang in there, life is the only thing we have for sure. ', 'Maybe you should let your family and friends know, reach out to those around you. Ive been there where you want to die but everythings fine. So I know where youre coming from', 'Okay, Ill check up on you every so often. And feel free to message Multiple sclerosis about anything.', 'Well I hope your arm gets better. As for you wanting to be gone, youd be robbing yourself of the only real thing anyone has for sure. Im not sure what youre going through but you can talk to me. Of course when your arm feels better. But dont make a dicission like this without trying everything possible to save you. ', 'Sounds like to me you need help. You should probably just go to the psychiatrist because they can help you. I didnt think they could, but I went and got help and I feel so much better now. Sometimes money cant be an issuing in saving yourself.', 'Thats bound to happen, parents dont like letting go of their little kid who need a handle to hold walking across the street. But Im sure youll get through it, just try to calm him down and if that doesn work give him some space and time to cool off', 'Whats the point in going through life putting all your love towards something that will never return the feeling? Maybe if I up and leave the place Im in because every corner is just another memory of my mind and heart being broken. Although I have no way to leave right now, so Im just trying to work on getting out and maybe Ill find somewhere I can call home. I feel like such a dick for saying it, but the people who are in my life and who love me just dont seem like enough because I cant fully connect with any of them. Even the person who is my best friend, I still feel really distant and detached. I feel like I bring everyone down when Im with them, or at least when they ask me whats wrong and demand to know. They can tell somethings off with me even when Im trying to hide it but I just feel like a burden because I cant over this pain.', 'So first things first, its considered ""healthy"" to think about killing yourself. But not plan it out or anything, just like ""Oh I fucked up I really wish I were dead right now."" because it shows that you are capable of admitting mistakes. Now on the school thing, you need to tell your dad whats up. If you do what he always says, hell control you all your life. Youve got to tell him ""Hey, dad. Look I love you, but I dont want to go to YOUR school and do whats be for ME. Because thats not whats best for me, its what YOU think is best for me."" Youve got to make some of your own choices. Dont plan out a suicide though, that wouldnt solve anything. Besides this has a solution to it. Just speak your mind to your father, work up the courage. Yeah, itll be hard but Im sure youve got support. Be true to yourself, be who you are.', 'Honestly, man Ive been there. The BEST solution possible, is to forget girls for a while. For the ""cant get my mind off her"" thing, thats always a little tricky. Find something that takes complete interest for you (preferably not music because that usually just ignites thought of the missed person) and just completely let it take hold of you. For me a few months ago it was books and helping my friend with his video game walkthrough channel on YouTube. I just helped him edit the audio/visual and I stopped thinking about the girl. For you what it seems like, is youre confiding your life and happiness way too much into another person. You need to find the love for life FOR yourself and BY yourself. Eventually, youll find that girl whos meant for you. But you need to work on yourself first, and stop putting so much of your heart into another people. Dont give too much of yourself to somebody too fast.', 'xD I really needed that. Im going through some stuff and dwelling on the past. That spider, oh the face at the end made me laugh pretty hard.', 'All I can say is hang in there. Find something you love, something that you can take and actually try to make a living with. Life is all we really have for sure. Im sure theres someone you know who disagrees with you and would listen to you if you open up to them. Maybe lay off the booze, they dont help. Ive been down that road, all you get is a hangover and you feel worse about yourself the next day. Drugs don help either, they may feel like they do but then you start noticing stuff about yourself when you are high. When I was strung out on drugs, I was an embarrassment and I failed most of that year of school. I lost three months last year to drugs and cant remember what happened, my friends just said I made a lot of bad decisions and made a lot of people hate me.      So just find something about yourself you love. Think of what hobbies you are into, what talents you have, what you are really good at. And dont say that you arent good at anything, because thats bull. Everybody is good at something, its just a matter of how you choose to use it. ', 'You start feel like theres something wrong with you after awhile. You wonder why people would do such a thing to someone who truly cares. Why would they take advantage of it, use it, and then forget about you like some broken toy. Im sorry that youre going through such Pain experiences. Ive been going through the same thing in life too, but dont stop caring. Never stop caring. People are going to Pain you and that sucks so much, but somewhere theres someone who needs someone to care. Who has no one else who cares and your kind hearted ways will help them so much. Dont allow those who Pain you lead you to change how and who you are. Then they win. You may feel stupid for continuing to care, but you arent. It takes a lot more strength to pick yourself up and continue to care more than it does to give up and become like everyone else. This world needs people who care, we need you. Youll find people who will appreciate your ways. Keep strong.', 'Thats beautiful! You ever think about pursuing a career as an artist? I think youd make it with that type of talent, keep the pen and pad close to you because you really have something amazing there.', 'I feel like a dick for responding with your broken arm and all, but ""one less person to deal with""? If I didnt honestly want to help you I wouldnt have commented on your post. And Im sure your friends do care but they are just trying to avoid the issue because they probably think getting your mind off all this will be better. Most people think that helps, but talking about a situation is what really helps. Thats why you should really talk about it with someone.', 'Dont do it! It wont solve anything, wouldnt you rather be able to look back and say ""I did it, I stuck through and survived"" instead of having a tombstone say ""rest in peace""? And you even think about saying ""No one would care if I die."" well youre wrong because I just read your submit and well I care. Keep fighting through your classes, and fuck the people who say being a writer/editor isnt a real job. Those people are needed in almost EVERY line of business! You would be an important person in society for those skills. Other words, things would get published and have errors and then people would get confused and would be lost. Being an editor is line being a lighthouse on a dark, rainy night. Finding a job is hard though, yes and for that Im sorry I dont know were to begin to help. But dont kill yourself, that would be terrible. Keep hope and love in your heart. Do things that make you happy, and for your own sake you should really think about moving. At least to a nicer place in town, if such a thing exists. If you need someone to talk to, you can message me you want. Just dont give up. :)', 'You say you want to be appreciated, well you pointing out that without you your family business would probably go belly up. That is something special right there. As for your family, perhaps you should try getting closer to them and attempt to become comfortable with opening up to them. Family is important, I didnt want to open up to my mom about wishing I were dead either but then I talked about it. And the sense of relief I felt from it was a reason to live in of itself. Just start having out with your family and get closer to them, that may help with the loneliness. As for the partner situation, keep your head up and be yourself. Although worrying about the partnership situation AFTER you handle the Depression period. Dont put your faith and hope into a person just because theyre your partner and you want to be with someone. We all want love, but we need to learn to love ourselves and love life first before we can work on finding someone to spend your life with. ', 'Yeah! That last paragraph had the spirit. Dont beat yourself up for other people leaving. Thats life, people came into your life and people go out. As for that one person you go to who you say you ""basically torture with your sadness"" just go to them to hang out and be with somebody. Im sure you arent torturing them, but if you do feel that way just talk to them about other issues, like how their day was (just an example; not implying that you never ask that) but hopefully you get the jist of what I am saying. ']",Ideation
user-8,"['The reason I have faith in our species ability to spread and survive is that homo sapiens have surpassed themselves over and over again throughout their existence. The species does not stop toiling in its growth for my grand hopes or your bleak existential questioning, rather it utilizes these ideas to bolster its rapid acceleration of ability and the scope of its influence. I believe humanity (it can still be called humanity at that point) will do things unimaginable by the likes of you or me, as it has a billion times previous. Colonization of other planets is not so far out of our grasp as to warrant the need to invoke faith. I take it almost as fact that we can accomplish something as small as relocation of our species.Terraforming too, is something I find small potatoes in the grand scheme of human invention and achievement. Look at the world around you, we have practically covered the surface of our planet with an asphalt mesh of roads. We have dammed rivers, created lakes, and cleared forests. Soon we may colonize the moon, which is little more than a dusty rock ball that happens to have a few ice-water caches within its craters. I consider theres a chance that our species will ultimately be wiped out, just as I consider theres a chance that when I compete I will be destroyed by those better than me, that when I leave my house I will get mowed down by a careless vehicle etc. However this does not stop me from striving to achieve my goals anyway, and I want you to know that ignorance regarding the point of our existence is no excuse for not continuing said existence. We may not matter to the universe, but as far as I can tell nothing does, the only being that cares about my existence is other humans around me. I wont exist in 100 years Ill bet, but that doesnt mean that there is no meaning to the lifetime I find myself occupying now.From what I can gather of you, you have a thirst for knowledge. I daresay discovering new ideas of the world *makes you happy*.You say yourself that you would have ended it long ago if not for your endeavors in knowledge. I want to ask you, have you ever tried living for another person? Have you recently sought to gain happiness by providing joy to another? I myself Tired much enjoy gaining scientific knowledge, but I find making others happy and the pursuit of flow, the state of ones skill level meeting ones challenge, the things that make me the most happy. I also gain great pleasure from stories, relating to the trials of a character and his achievements, hopes and failures.I can try to prescribe these activitys for you, but if the pursuit of knowledge is truly what can stimulate action from you, if it gives you a reason to act and to have goals and to watch yourself achieve them then perhaps you could try to live your life furthering humanitys understanding of the universe. You also have a penchant for philosophy (which is ultimately the school of thought that your ideas lie in, merely borrowing from physics to explain them). Maybe you could try to find your solution within philosophical texts.My point is that you have a capable brain, and I judge you as being far from unimportant, both to our species and to myself. The universe cannot disagree, as unfortunately for it it has no means (to our species knowledge) of observing our existence.I want you to know that I responded to your post because it stimulated my mind, and not because I had the need to stop you from dying. Your existence has meaning with me for a quality you are lucky to possess, not just because you are another faceless member of humanity and I have some broad sweeping principle idea that no humans should commit suicide. Your existence holds meaning with me, and with others, and so I bid you temporarily excuse its lack of meaning with you and the universe.If you commit suicide now, it will be too late. I already have felt your existence affect my life, and because of that your own existence will have a hand in shaping my future existence, which will shape the existence of many others, inanimate or not. You cannot stop yourself from having existed, only from continuing to exist. You lost the chance to not affect the rest of universe during conception, and now you have no choice but to continue affecting it, one way or another. That said, I challenge you to the pointless task of living a full life and going out in a blaze of beautiful glory, having positively touched the lives of many others (just as you have already touched my own) and having achieved a goal that holds a grand measure of importance to *you*. You say that you cannot commit suicide until you are sure that it is the answer, and I say that just because you or I cannot know the point of our existence does not mean that there is not one. I say that until you experience the the wonder of pure joy resulting from having filled another with joy, that until you have achieved something that is important to the unique individual human being that is you, that until you have lived a Tired fulfilled existence that you cannot accurately judge whether there is a point to it or not, at all.I leave the rest up to you, I have given you my surest reasoning as to the point of continued existence and you have the choice of believing it, or denying it and nitpicking at my interpretation in order to fulfill the world view you have previously indicated you have or Fear may be true of the universe... or you can simply take a small part or two of what I have said and use it to shape a new view. I invite you to live gloriously, pointlessly, and awesomely and this invitation will not expire.', 'The thing is, black holes dont swallow space around them like a vacuum, they have a limited size gravitational field and masses outside of that field are unaffected. What I mean is, a black hole will not simply pull all objects towards it, only the ones within the reach of its gravitational force. Furthermore, Wikipedia states ""In 1974, Stephen Hawking showed that black holes are not entirely black but emit small amounts of thermal radiation.[24] He got this result by applying quantum field theory in a static black hole background. The result of his calculations is that a black hole should emit particles in a perfect black body spectrum. This effect has become known as Hawking radiation. Since Hawkings result, many others have verified the effect through various methods.[74] If his theory of black hole radiation is correct, then black holes are expected to emit a thermal spectrum of radiation, and thereby lose mass, because according to the theory of relativity mass is just highly condensed energy (E = mc2).[24] Black holes will shrink and evaporate over time. The temperature of this spectrum (Hawking temperature) is proportional to the surface gravity of the black hole, which for a Schwarzschild black hole is inversely proportional to the mass. Large black holes, therefore, emit less radiation than small black holes.""So, black holes dont last forever, they actually lose mass over time! Furthermore, given the length of time we have until our sun becomes a red giant and the earth becomes uninhabitable, humans have a large fighting chance of being able to populate habitable planets surrounding other stars. If life is designed to perpetuate life, through means of natural selection as well as through survival during celestial travel via [panspermia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panspermia), as well as through the eventual evolution of cognitive function, which grows into scientific reasoning and technological advances eventually leading into a species gaining the ability to inhabit other worlds, then the destruction of our solar system will not mark the end of life. It may mark the end of humans, theres no way to tell... but I can tell you confidently that we wont take it lying down. When species compete with each other to adapt and be the fittest for survival, the real winner is always biodiversity for earths biosphere as a whole. A variety of species in many areas living many different ways increases the likelihood of life continuing, in any form, by reducing the risk of any single catastrophic event occurring.I guess my point is that life will strive to continue, and singularities dont last forever. If you follow the big bounce theory then all mass and energy would continue to exist following the next big bang, should the universe return to a singularity once more. There is a point to our lives as humans, and we will continue to struggle to claim our place in the universe. Please dont give up hope. Im sorry my answer is more science-y and less therapeutic. If you feel you need some engaging discussion with someone who is willing to put forth the effort into actively seeking to understand your ideas, Im more than willing to talk via PM or right here in the comments. ', 'New stars are made all the time, whilst old ones burn out. Sentient life with the ability to travel to and inhabit other planets (especially with the ability to terraform them precolonization) can manage to survive the appearance of a black hole occurring within its home solar system, and in theory survive like this providing it the ability to survive most celestial disasters. A universal cataclysm may be enough to take out a species or group of species living in such a manner, but we dont know enough about the end of the universe, or the possibilities of life experiencing extra-dimensional travel in order to truly say with any confidence what could happen. I find myself perplexed with my ideas surrounding life, for if it is designed (I use this word in the least literal sense possible) to survive cataclysms and disasters and black holes and the impact of other celestial bodies and continue to multiply and diversify and survive, I wonder at its purpose. Surely there is a reason... I find myself drawn into some ideas I picked up when reading a short bit of Raymond Kurzweils The Singularity is Near. I strongly suggest reading that book for a taste of his Tired interesting and stimulating ideas on evolution, both in the biological world and the inorganic world. I should go back to it myself. Alas, I will have to continue this discussion tomorrow, like yourself Ive had a few drinks tonight, and more than my fair share of hoots this afternoon. Dont lose hope friend, and I hope you can find a measure of solace in the knowledge that having a human being like yourself in the gene pool, who can actively ponder the philisophical dilemma of humanities ultimate universal fate is evolutionarily genius, and nothing but a boon for our species. You truly belong in humanity, and we are better for your presence.']",Supportive
user-9,"['A book is usually what I do when Im getting down, but it doesnt work when I start getting panicky. Ill try the carbs, the caffeine doesnt work because Ive gotten it in a movie theater and had a soda with me...', 'A few reasons. I feel backed into a corner mostly. And Im Tired of being Tired of everything. If that makes sense.', 'Thank you! I understand its a sad thing. But I also want people to realize that there can be humor in anything and its the best way to deal with this. Its how I would do it. ', 'I really dont want to ask for help. Id rather not let anyone know Im having these kind of issues.']",Ideation
user-10,"['Dont do it man.  Seriously this is making me sad.  I dont know you but I feel like youve got something to offer.  Everyone does.  Maybe not now, maybe next year, but some time.  You will figure it out.  My dad killed himself in his 70s.  We all miss him dearly.  He didnt think anyone wanted/needed him anymore and his body was failing.  If he only knew how much we Pain now many years after.']",Indicator
user-11,"['Whats up? Tell me. Im here for you. ', 'Wow. I cant imagine how heavy this must be on you. Cancer is bottom line, scary. I can tell you love your family so undeniably much. You care, and that shows tremendous strength. You are stronger than you know. I believe in you! (Im going to guess youre a male?) Two years, with your girlfriend. Both of you, have stuck together for a solid amount of time. Shes still with you, by your side, and you by hers! Its okay to be afraid, its being human! Being 16, is hard. You need to focus on what will get you ahead, school, education. Focus on having fun, and leaving people that drag your beautiful soul down. Be strong for those who cannot be strong enough for themselves. Remember, I love you.  ', 'When I feel blue, I re-arrange my belongings. Living room too. I take down any decorations (cheesy, I know) and refresh them with others. I clean inbetween intervals and blare some fucking jams. Open your windows too. Make the space new, but make it your own. ', 'Do you enjoy school? Any hobbies? Sports? How is your girlie doing? Does she know the intense Pressure youre under? Have you ever talked to someone about your anxiety? (Doesnt necessarily mean a therapist either.) Would you like to PM instead?']",Supportive
user-12,"['I wish I could give a shit about what would make it to the front page. I have been there and got nothing. Same as my life. I do have a gun.', 'I thought I was talking about it. I am not on a ledge or something, but I do have my .357 in my lap.', 'No. I made sure she got an education and she knows how to get a job. I also have recently bought her clothes to make her more attractive. She has told me she only loves me because I buy her things. ']",Behavior
user-13,"['I have one question for you: whatre your interests? Specifics, please.', 'YOU ARE NOT IN PRISON! My God, you are not in a federal (maximum-security) prison. Could you even imagine it? What if someone, for example, planted something crazily illicit on your hard drive, and you were sentenced to 5-10 years for it? THAT would make me want to kill myself. That anguish you feel toward the world is fuel. Your impetus for changing our current global situation rests in your despair. You CANNOT kill yourself. We simply cannot afford it. You are currently (and luckily, too) only constrained by your mental faculties. You are lucky enough to live in a society that lets you speak freely! You can even invent new ideas that change the world. Embrace your liberty!Please let me know about your progress in changing our planetary circumstances. You are our hope! Enjoy!', '""Make a living?"" Do what you love. Get MORE education. If you love something, money will follow. You just have to love it more. Go get your MA. Then your Ph.D. Teach it! Research it! What areas of history are your favorite? I specialize in prehistory.', 'Do you know what death is like? Every time I feel like ending it, Ill imagine a true hell: being stuck in my body. I imagine after my heart stops and brain ceases to function, being able to see my dead body. I imagine seeing my family discovering my dead body... What if thats what awaits you when you kill yourself? Death *may* actually be worse than being alive. ', 'I know what you mean. I think about blowing my brains out frequently... I just think about the immensely sweet relief that Ill feel when my constant Anxiety and Fear no longer exist. All of my issues will disappear, and thats all that matters. Why is suicide bad, again? If I am in a certain position in life that is *horrific*, then why should I continue? I am a chemically normal person. That Fear I mentioned above is a result of my bad decisions. I will soon lose my freedom, one way or another. ', 'You didnt get accepted to any Masters program? Did you form a strong bond with that one history teacher?', 'Why dont you, instead of killing yourself in Italy, do something else in Italy? Something interesting...', 'Wait! I hope youll read this comment before you do anything crazy...Life exists outside of the constraints that the universe has set for you. Your bad parents, your horrible upbringing, and your despicable circumstances are all things of the past. All you need is 24 hours of motivation. Purchase a plane ticket and leave everything else behind. I hope, sincerely, that you dont kill yourself. ', 'Like /u/regretnope said, theres certainly no need to rush this. Why not wait and talk? Whats the worst part about your life?', 'You, my friend, are not defined by your job. You are defined by your actions. Blowing your brains out will certainly leave a mark on your loved ones. I am here for you, man.', 'You love coding. Is it something you occasionally look up on Wikipedia or YouTube, or do you actually know how to code?', 'Oh, my god. Do you actually LOVE history? Im getting my degree in Anthropology. I love Anthro. I went into it because I cant wait to get a Ph.D in my favorite subject.Do you LOVE history? And that whole stereotype about liberal arts degrees being ""useless"" is really stupid. If you want me to go into it, I will.', 'So glad to hear youre alive, dude. Im always here to talk (seriously). ', 'Dude! Your daughters life will NOT be better without you. I want to make that clear. That is seriously the most true thing Ive ever said in my life. Leave your SO if things arent working out. You WILL get partial custody of your daughter, and she will grow up knowing her dad. You are not defined by a job, and getting fired from a job is something everyone goes through. Youll find a new job, and youll get back on your feet. What are you up to, currently?', 'Your most prominent thought might be, ""how will I ever find another like her?"" That is the most poisonous of thoughts. I know you thought she was perfect, and I know you thought that youll never get another like her, but you will. Dont worry. ', 'I know how difficult it is to sit there and watch the days pile up. ""Oh, look. Its another day where I didnt do anything."" The more the days go by, the harder it gets. The first thing you need to do is *forgive yourself*. ', 'I looked at your post history, and it seems youre a marijuana user. Wont you miss that? Then again, that could simply be what is helping you cope.In my mind, there are two types of suicide: reactionary suicide and clinical suicide. The latter exclusively involves a mental Illness such as depression, while reactionary suicide can involve a mental Illness, but it also involves the happening of some tragic event(s). Which describes you?', 'You mention legacy; what is its use? The way you touch and help people is timeless. It is what people will remember you for. You literally must *not* kill yourself. Life is not about ""destiny."" Your destiny has not been written. Any impediments that you currently face can be washed away with ease. Every wasted dollar, broken relationship, and wasted time can be easily redeemed. Enjoy your new life!', 'Please dont do anything drastic. Break-ups are *always* difficult. Those feelings youre feeling are completely normal, and you shouldnt feel bad about them. How old are you? Your life may seem valueless at this point, but it really isnt! Your spouse does not define you, and you are so much more than that. Seriously. One day, eventually, youll finally see the collection of your ambitions and aspirations manifest themselves into a... perhaps... career (or some other venue). Please dont give up hope!I am always available (no, seriously, I am). Please dont be afraid to message me, buddy! Im here for you!', 'Whats your degree in? How old are you?', 'How much aid do you need for a Masters program?', 'You are more than your test scores. You have a lot to offer, friend, and you are just getting started. One day, 40 years from now, youll remember those days when you felt suicidal, and youll be happy. Youll be happy that overcame everything. What are your interests?', 'I hope I can put it in a Tired direct way: there is *nothing* worse that you could do for your daughter than killing yourself. Please stay with us. Everything youve done is forgivable. Whats something youre ashamed of?', 'Yep. Identical to me. Dont know what the hell to do. ', 'You dont know me, but I certainly care about you. I would donate my time, if I physically could, to getting your life back on track. Since I cant physically be there, I could help you get your life back on track via other means. You have a lot to offer, whether you know it or not, and itd be a genuine shame to see you go. People *do* care. If you acquire just a *little* motivation, you can do amazing things. ', 'You are at a Tired young and fragile time in your life. How can your friends be ""moving on"" when youre all in high school? You have *so* much time to do absolutely *whatever* youd like, and its even better because you have no impediments encumbering you. Youre not blind, youre not going to prison, and you have both of your hands. The world is yours to mold, so jump in! You have all the time in the world, so dont worry. ', 'Whats your dream? Forget realistic.', 'Your best friend is clearly not your friend. He is crazy. Please do not even consider killing yourself. I have been through a lot myself, and I am always here for you. Please message me as much as you want. ', 'What are you going through? How could you end your life when you have so much to offer? Think about your many interests; you havent even explored them, yet! You have many duties, and drinking bleach will only be a blight on your obituary. Your obituary is yet to be written. You have no limits. Dont waste your life away. ', 'What about Masters programs at other schools?', 'Im here for you. I can text, call, Skype, whatever. No judgements. Please PM me if youre interested. Hang in there. ', '>doing it for ""myself"" seems pointlessDont do it for yourself, then. And certainly dont regard human life as a ""game,"" almost as if theres a single way/process to win it. Seeing yourself as a ""resource Hungry animal"" is not a correct way to think. It isnt healthy, either. Being able to form sentences like you did in your post means you have *tremendous* value. That value translates extremely plainly into the real world. If you can form sentences, then there is no doubt that you have mental faculties that can analyze, plan, and decipher information in a meaningful way. There are billions of humans who are struggling to survive. Turn your ""waste of a human"" self into a person whose mere existence transcends borders, nationalities, and prejudices. *Help others*. You will, in turn, help yourself my giving yourself an unprecedented amount of worth. ', 'You arent worthless. No one is ""worthless."" What are your interests? I can personally train you in a few things. You wont drag her down with you if you dont let it happen. Your daughter needs you, and you are already doing her many favors by simply being in her life. ']",Ideation
user-14,"['You are not alone, my dear. You have two parents who, from what you said, love you unconditionally. Please please please dont kill yourself. Parents are not supposed to bury their children. At 24, you have SUCH a life ahead of you! This situation is temporary. It really sucks and I feel for you. But as bad as it seems, it will get better. Trust me when I say that it will get better. You have the desire to be more mentally healthy, right? You have the power to change your way of thinking. I know the spiral of starting to believe your negative thoughts. Your brain is LYING to you. You are a wonderful and unique human being with so much to give back. Every day, look in the mirror and name 5 good things about yourself. It will feel silly at first, but something about looking at yourself and saying, e.g., ""I am caring."" will get you to eventually believe it. Feel free to PM me anytime you need a lift from the darkness. ', 'No life is accidental; especially not yours. I want so much for you to live. I want you to get away from those poisonous people. I want you to start seeing a psychologist (avoid a psychiatrist if you can. they seem more interested in doling out pills than giving you real skills to combat your negative thoughts.). I want you to accept and love yourself for who you are. I want you to get through this and come out the other side. Think of all the young people in similar situations that you can help. You are not alone. You are beautiful. Please dont end your life. ', 'Could you join a support group? Im not sure where you live, so I dont know the resources you have. I found talking to people in similar situations really helped. I would try looking into a psychologist; sometimes a change in therapist is good. Have you asked for help? I know that seems like a silly question and if that came across negatively I am so sorry. I just know that, for me, asking for help was the hardest part. Once I did, I found that so many people wanted to help me. Concerning the license, could you get a bike? Even an old crapper from the thrift store is a start. Exercising will also stimulate those good endorphins and hopefully have you feeling better. I feel ya on the job front. Times are tough and your situation is tougher. Go into every business and put in applications. Once you have a job, its easier to find a better one. The social interactions with your colleagues can also help you feel less isolated. Try not to let your Fear of acceptance deter you. I like to listen to ""I Am What I Am"" from La Cage Aux Follies when Im feeling bad about myself. Back on the subject... all that I have said above will help you escape the prison of your mind. I can see how moving to a more enlightened area will help you. The reality is that, for now at least, youre stuck where you are. So, work on escaping from those negative thoughts. If someone knocks you down (figuratively), get back up. Because we both know that A. you dont deserve that treatment and B. they are full of shit. You are a good person, worthy of love. I have a mental method my psychologist taught me to build myself up; would you like to give it a try? I really hope my words helped you.', 'Look in the mirror and say 3 positive attributes you have. It will feel silly at first, but its important that you maintain this every day. Im on my mobile right now. When I get home Ill write more. ']",Ideation
user-15,"['No you are not bothering anyone. View it like this: if you were bothering, would there be a subreddit only for people like you? ', 'Thanks :)', 'Nobody will say that to you if you dont have anybody to talk to', 'I dont think it would be a good idea to make it pay-to-visit. I think it would scare away a lot of people who need help. We could make it ad-based, it wouldnt make much money but enough to power the servers.And the real-life-meeting wont work in the first weeks, because if there are just for example 1000 people who use that website they wont be all over the world. We already have luck when there are two who speak the same language.Im trying to start now but I cant promise anyhting.I just need a name to start, any suggestions?', 'I need it because of the chat function. But even when everybody only brags about the good moments in their lifes, I realize that I havent got any of this good moments', 'Im sorry that Im only able to give the two standard answers, but from my experience they really help:At first, if you dont do already, talk about everything. Everything you want to talk about (or even dont want to talk about)My other recommendation is the butterfly project: http://butterfly-project.tumblr.com/ for example she could do it with your name.I hope I could help a little bit. Take care of each other :)', 'Please tell us youre still there. Talk with us! Please...', 'Please tell us you are still alive! Nothing in this world is bad enough to kill yourself! Talk to us, it will help!', 'First of all: why would you want to do that? There are many things worth living for. Do you have any specific problems? Do you want to talk about them with the community / me?There is no easy way to die and even when its easy for you, its horrible for other people.', 'yes that would be a nice idea but it requires a lot of work, I hope Ill start tomorrow after school. Do you have any ideas for a name? I am sorry to say that but I see follwing problems in this idea, although I would like to work with it:1. A domain costs money, around a few $/month and the free servers are likely to crash every few days.2. Then, how should they contact? I owuld suggest adding multiple options like skype/reddit/phone/kik/etc.3. What about privacy?4. Maybe there are some idiots who want to harm other - already self-harming - people.5. I would need somebody to do the translation as my English isnt as good as it should be.What if, instead of meeting, we just offer a country based, skype/reddit/etc. adress book so that everyone in for example Germany gets the skype ID from somebody else in Germany?', 'I just found out that there already is an app for that: TalkLife on Google Play (didnt check on App Store)', 'Hey :)I think Im in a smiliar situation as you. Do you have any reasons for being depressed? I know this question sounds dumb since there arent always reasons when you have a Depression, but if you have reasons, feel free to talk about it, the community and I will listen to you.And take a look on the positive sides: You wrote that a lot of people think your Depression gets better, so there are people who care about you. You should pick one or two of them and just talk openly about your problems and you will probably see how much they care about you. And if (what I hope you dont do) really kill yourself, they will be destroyed and maybe get a Depression themselves. Do you want the people who care about you fell the way you feel?Now for the self-hamring part: I too have been self harming for months. I suggest you the butterfly project: http://butterfly-project.tumblr.com/ It has really helped me although I cant promise that it helps everybody but its definitiely worth trying it.Tl;dr: Talk about your problems :)', 'I dontt know why, this song always cheers me up alittle bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqgHosrqJ8o', 'Thank you, that are great names :)', 'Hello :)do you have reasons for thinking like this? did anything happen that makes you think like this? do you want to talk about it? The community and I will be here for you.:)', 'At first: thank you for seeking help on here. Do you have any reasons for your suicide thoughts? you should talk about the reasons, the community and I will be here for you.Just dont do anything you will regret later.:)', 'yeah but I see them in their successful moments and realize I havent got any successful moments', 'My problem is not that people on social media are cunts, they are much more successful than me and that makes me feel bad', 'carry her to the next car and drive her to the hospital. if you are not stron enough ask f.neightbours to help you. Or just call 911', 'Just dont kill yourself. You have something to live for: Your cat! Just imagine what it would be like to her if her best friend wouldnt be there anymore. She couldnt stand this, so just dont do it.', 'You really should tell her mother, she has to know what happens to her daughter ', 'iOS too, online too: http://talklife.com.au/ ']",Behavior
user-16,"['oh, doh.I had someone tell me similar recently, so took it seriously.', 'Hes calling out someone for promising ""it will get better,"" while still acknowledging that sometimes things do get better. Hes hardly the worst kind of person.', 'Few posts here fall into that category. Its to be expected of a suicide board. If you cant deal with the reality of being powerless to help a truly Suicidal person, you shouldnt be posting here. And why would you remove anonymity when the primary reason people post on here instead of calling a hotline is so they can be safe from the cops?', '> And then one day I picked up a camera. I havent made any money off it yet, but it is the one thing that gives me a reason to carry on. I want to escape from my life. I still cant stand my own skin, but as long as I can take a few pictures today, Im happy.I was looking into canceling a preorder I have pending for a camera and buying a tank of Excessive upper gastrointestinal gas to do myself in with not a minute ago. Logged onto reddit and saw this. Eerie.', 'It does pay out if youve had your policy over 2 years.', '""Hey faggot, go start a revolution?"" How is that supposed to help anyone? The whole irony of the Suicidal mindset is the willingness to pay the ultimate price for nothing at all.', 'Thats pretty standard, really. I dont know about your friend and dont mean to belittle your friendship, but an outpouring of sympathy after a death doesnt necessarily mean people knew much about the deceased or had any real concern for them while they were alive. Or perhaps they did but it was too long ago. People for the most part are quite blind to others, and communal grieving is a powerful, cathartic thing that mostly exists for its own sake. To someone Suicidal who really feels friendless, the thought of old acquaintances taking real notice of them is often part of the appeal. In their minds theyre more useful dead than alive.', 'The suicide rate is not low. Dont forget its 12 of every 100K *per year*. Thats a Tired narrow timeframe. People have a lifetime in which to commit.Heres a rough attempt at a clearer estimate for the US. The suicide rate now is about 35K a year. The average person who suicides is in his/her early 40s and so was born at a time there were about 3.5 million births a year. That would put the suicide rate at about 1% over a lifetime. Even with the present 4.1 million a year birth rate, its 0.85%.Thats far too many suicides, and certainly many more deeply unhappy people who make it to the end. Its epidemical.', '> I fell in love with a beautiful person, someone who was there for me and wanted to walk with me through all the difficult times.Im amazed a Depression person can actually find a romantic partner who tolerates and helps. I have a couple online friends I can confess to, but maybe not enough to really get me out of myself. I get the sense that people generally only want to see me happy or dead, and that Im insufferable otherwise.I may be mistaken but remember reading that one of the big dating sites, that makes you take a personality test, does not offer matches for anyone who scores too high on depression. That Depression people have to go it alone and heal themselves before love is even possible. Probably true for most.']",Ideation
user-17,"['Im interested, since youve pretty much described my life. Im a guy, so not so many men willing to have sex with me, but the emptiness/friends of obligation is Tired familiar. Id Tired much like to hear more of your story.', 'The apathy, too. Only reason I didnt kill myself tonight is because I procrastinated until I thought I might be discovered.']",Behavior
user-18,"['No need for thanks it just makes me happy that it maybe helped someone else.', 'I would never wish muchless wish someone to take my burdens. I just wanted you to know you arent alone', 'Im twenty three years old and my body (as told by doctors) is that of a sixty year olds within due to an accident I was in. I was hit by a truck when I was eleven and Ive been battling Depression since. My nana  the one and only person in my world that understood died Oct 1st 2002 and I was hit on Apr 15th 2003 when my birthday was on May 28th. It sucked massively and since that age I was homeschooled but I had to teach myself. No teachers. No friends. No nothing.. my mom had taken to hitting me a lot and really breaking me down physically, emotionally, and everything the year my Nana got Illness and we were taking care of her and that was when I was 9. My bio father has been in and out of my life and Ive been Illness since I was two years old. My dad didnt want me cause I was a Illness kid and have done nothing but get worse. Ive been raped and many other things I cant go to college due to seizures and I cant do what my heart desires.. Im so sorry for your Pain but you are NOT alone in it, yes its all different to everyone but the common is that we understand.I know it seems your life is hopeless and isnt going anywhere. I know youre ignored and not heard but I hear you and I feel you. As much as it would be freeing what happens when right before you hit it blinks in your mind STOP.. Ive downed a bottle of pills before, i used to cut, used to choke myself but never could finish it no matter how bad I wanted to no matter how badly I needed to because at the end right before blanking out my brain would scream stop. Music helps, art helps, writing helps, just you gotta find your release and until then talk to me message me. Tell me how you feel and Ill listen Im right here. Ill hear you..']",Attempt
user-19,"['Live for others you say?', 'My trigger. Well, I cant drink alcohol. I know it, but then, I have so much fun then I want to drown. I drink little now, but I drank today, when Ive had an issue. How can you not drink, when its your culture, when the reality is youre outside if you dont?', 'my whole life is a semi-stage of Depression mixed with periods of good times. at the moment i want to neck myself but my commitments in life prevent me from doing so. i continually say ill get past this point and then it wont matter, then some fuckhead mate has a wedding, or a family member has an important event and i defer. fuck the world.', 'for some reason, people like different shit, its good in that way.', 'Does one truly beat depression? Ive gone a fair while without a major depressive stint but still get some massive blue days.', 'One day I hope to get to NY, until then I will hold on for that hug.', 'Works for some people, doesnt work for others. Ive always played sport, exercising at least three times a Asthenia and some of my biggest lows have been after a session. ', 'dog is real though.', 'Yeah theyre the best', 'Ive never had anyone. ', 'http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/154323/a-beautiful-sadness', 'i went and got really drunk and told some people at work a few days later where i was then told to go see a doctor who put me on Lexapro which got me seriously high for a few days.', 'i got totally fucked up one night, had sex with this girl, she was fucking amazing, i almost missed my flight home, wasnt sure how the fuck it all happend, got her number some how and then proceeded to text. there was no proof to anyone this chick existed or myself besides being that fucked up that in my mind i had sex with her, she came to visit me from 3500ks away, if she hadnt got off that plane, i would not have typed this.', 'got my first when i was 31. lasted 8 months maybe. then got a second, which lasted maybe the same. both of these birds some how accepted me for who i am, i dont know how, i honestly dont and it kills me trying to think that maybe there is another bird out there for me.ive figured that once chicks reach their late 20s theyre looking to build a nest, find women that are in that age range, late 20s-early 30s that are single and need to build a nest. ', 'Woody Allen movies are actually a reason not to live. ', 'Its hard to say really, being in debt has been a slight issue, loss of close friends, the lack of socialising and standing still in my job. ', 'I disagree/agree with some of distroid advice. Medication is fucked but it helps, consult a learned person if it isnt working. Dont take up bowling it is shit. Take responsibility for your life, dont make excuses. You can control certain aspects in your life, the things you cannot control, do not worry or depress about. Because you feel shit, it isnt bad, feel that shit, understand it, question it. Listen to shit self help tapes, while they are shit, they give you something to think about, they also help with asking yourself questions. Dont give up.', 'you saved yourself.', 'I was on 375mg. Worst shit ever, felt like a drug addict coming off, guess I was. Took about three months after getting off for the withdrawal symptoms to go away. When I first started using it went away for a weekend and forgot my meds, almost didnt get let on the plane home. ', 'your friends never get over it. one of my best mates, who i lived with at the time, killed himself while i was overseas, our other housemate, who is also a great friend found him hanging in his room. you dont get over that.', 'you can be isolated in a crowd. surrounding yourself with people who you feel are like rats or stink or just give you that feeling, that whatever you do, you cant fucking escape and you try and claw at the surface and youre stuck, youre stuck in this stench of life and misery and these roaches, they just swarm all over you and all you can do is breath in this stale fucking air, used by these parasites that you will never be able to shed. ', 'motion picture sound track kills me', 'my mother died from motor neuron disease, shit was real. she couldnt speak and would write stuff like, dont you love me? fucking killed me. i dont know how it relates, but it fucking sucks, whole family was fucked up for a serious amount of time, watching your mum die over a couple of years gave me serious mares.', 'I thought Id found someone but she rejected me once she became aware that I was Depression. Sympathy sex was okay. ', 'i was in the same boat bud, still am to a degree. the only contact i had with girls was drunken intercourse, late 20s it started to change, girls want to settle down in their late 20s, theyll settle for guys like us real easy if you show em you care.', 'its called livejournal.', 'its much better to text her at 3 or 4 in the morning when drunk.', 'Nice patronising.', 'all i can offer is maybe doing one thing every day that you dont want to do. stuff you procrastinate about. stuff that you think is not worth doing but then it gets you doing something.', 'youve just got to visualise it. ', 'I went through a serious bad trot, told my mates about it, they didnt really give a fuck, a year or so later, another mate of ours killed himself, I was overseas at the time, at the wake and afterwards, they were like we should take this as a warning, you know after what you went through and now Pete, we should look out for each other. Ive hardly heard from or seen these guys in the last three years, everyone disappeared.', 'most of the people i roll with wouldnt know half the shit i like, so i guess it is hard to know, ive found though the key with people who question me is to not give a fuck. ', 'seeing a way out of Depression is pretty hard, but there are generally steps to take, some work, some dont. i would just try to do one thing a day that i didnt want to, regardless of how small, it got me slowly into a better frame of mind where life stopped being chore.these days, i rarely have a dark day, though they still happen and its never likely to last more than a day. im aware of it when it happens and dont let myself get sucked in.', 'I thought it was a decent film, fucked up, but decent.', 'This is something I forget but keep trying to live by. I try to accept that I am without being, I still have far to go. Thank you for reminding me.', 'it is only when i get drunk that i really want to neck myself. i rarely drink now but when i do, most of the time i want to neck myself.', 'Id suggest not pilling out. Its not a great experience to wake up to and if you almost do the job but not quite you could be in a worse situation or leave it up to someone else to make the decision.', 'its a tough gig. i feel a bit AA about saying i havent had a rough day since last year, which seems almost as long as i can remember without feeling off. im not really sure how it all change, my financial situation isnt any better, my circle of friends hasnt Fatigue or decreased, i dont have a relationship, the only real thing that has happened is that i dont drink as much, well stuff all now and im more committed to being fit which has now turned around where i used to go for a run or do some exercise and i would experience some of the worst lows ever afterward and now i do it, i dont feel great, but i feel good.  i honestly dont know how things have changed when on the outside nothing really has. all i can say is, keep to the things you like doing and the only self help tape that has done anything for me was one by steve chandler and it was really only one point it. doing something everyday, like stuff you procrastinate over about not doing. that motivated me for a short period.', 'do i need any explosions or guns firing?', 'thats pretty depressing actually.', 'yeah, the scales will be the icing.', 'im crashing out dude, will talk later.', '>What happens tomorrow, or what has happened yesterday or the day/week/month/year before, mean abso-fucking-lutely nothing.live for the moment eh. existence is futile.', 'maybe a cloud with a silver lining?', 'I got told to play video games. I dont see how the fuck that helps.', 'Things went like this, from 2007 to late 2008, work related back injury, anti-depressants, found out my mother had a terminal illness, got a small payout, move back home to be close to family and start a business with bro/sister, they didnt pay me but used my settle on the business/supporting myself, stopped taking meds, moved away, mother died same weekend, quit my next job, moved in with a good friend, doing serious credit card damage, friend kills himself, our close group of friends fall apart, couple months later, 30k in the hole and have been working ever since to get free again, of which Im still 15k from.', 'Just read the catcher in the rye a few hundred times, didnt work for me but Im still alive right? ', 'They prefer to call it Radelaide', 'What is the context? ', 'ive never had a sustained relationship, i dont think ive ever had sex when i havent been drunk or come down from a big night, while being Depression fucking sucks, like butters says, id rather experience a loss than never experience a gain or that other shitful quote it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. ', 'theyll bake a cake at some stage, banana cake to exact.', 'woody allen movies are on my not to watch list, so i dont know. killing yourself would be a terrible idea. i need some tips on screen writing, help me out. i want to make a short film with holden caulfield playing a game of checkers with jane gallagher, how do you think i should approach it?', 'my opinion would be dont take any medication involving SSRIs or SNRIs, like efexor  because that shit is fucking chaos to get off.', 'The hardest part is not knowing why you want to die. I had this beautiful girl on top of me today, last night I was with her as well but I was Depression as hell and told her I didnt want to be with her that night. She came around today and I still felt like necking myself, I dont know why, why the fuck would want to neck yourself when someone says they adore you? ', 'I really liked this bird, had seen her on and off for a few months, had a really bad Asthenia and was on the edge. Saw her and she took me in, sympathy sex and then shut me down the next day after dropping me at the hospital. Im still here. Good times I guess. ', 'in the pits too.']",Ideation
user-20,"['I hope you both can read this. Reading both of these things and seeing you respond to each other is totally just crushed me. It is so sad to see other people caught in between caring so deeply for others and caring so little for themselves that it actually becomes detrimental in itself. Clearly, you both have huge hearts and you are full of emotion and it would really suck a lot if you guys werent able to share that with the world anymore. And I know you both probably arent concerned about my opinion on the matter, as you stated above, but I think you want someone to share it with you anyway, or else you would have posted in the first place. You deserve everything. All the greatness to be had in your life is for you, and you deserve it. ', 'The only thing that can make this situation as bad as you really see it is if you completely give up. You are clearly smart, and you are clearly talented, and whether or not you can pay rent in a couple months will not change that. Your family loves you because you are those things, and they will always be more proud of your accomplishments than they will be disappointed in your setbacks. Life is scary as shit. Just remember that you can do whatever you want. You just got to commit. You have put a lot of effort into school, maybe its time to see the world or something? Or move a new place? I dont know. Even when it feels like there arent any options, there definitely are.']",Supportive
user-21,"['> I know sometimes you will have days when you literally cant bear to move... thats me every day.Please dont belittle my depression. I have had this every year since I was 16, and its awful. I was told I am also likely to have it for the rest of my life. We unfortunately both suffer a lot, so please dont act like its a competition. (Forgive me if Im misinterpreting your comment.)', '>Internet people to the rescue!:)What are you studying? I was just talking to my advisor how Im Feeling nervous about how much work and Pressure there is in grad school (but he thinks I should go), and how I want to go somewhere close to home. His response: ""Dont worry about it being close to home, you wont even have time to see anyone!"" ...Way to help me with that first concern.', 'Let us know how it goes/went.', 'I just searched reddit for ""forever alone"" because thats how I feel. Maybe sharing my story will help...?Ive been feeling really alone at college lately and have gone out just once this entire semester. I forced myself to contact someone tonight and he told me to meet him and his friends at a frat house at 11. I showered, put on makeup, got all dressed up, and headed over there. I texted my friend and got no response. I went inside, asked around, couldnt find him. There was barely anyone there and the few who were were all freshmen. I left, still hoping to get a response. I drove to the bar where a lot of people hang out, but it looked pretty deserted so I didnt go in. Theres 24 hour grocery store around the corner, so I went in and picked up milk and candy for trick-or-treaters... *Forever alone.*But guess what? Tonight, were alone together.', 'Please look at [the post I just wrote](http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/csrba/just_so_you_know_that_theres_a_good_chance_that/). Like you, I was a teenage girl with a great life (supportive family, caring friends, good grades, promising future) and was still Depression and suicidal. Now Im neither Depression nor suicidal, and Im grateful every day that I didnt kill myself a few years ago when it seemed like the only option.You say your OCD and Anxiety are self-diagnosed -- have you told anyone about your problems? It was Pain and difficult for me to do that, but its necessary. Please seek help.', 'Thanks. Im going to send an email to my professors now, just letting them know that Im Illness and going to be out of class. I just dont want them to know why, but Im afraid not explaining sounds suspicious.What do you mean by ""back on track""? Are you back in school? My biggest Fear is not finishing college because of this. Not finishing is really not an option for someone from my family/area/background, and I want it for myself, too. I really love learning normally. ', 'How do I keep from losing friends at work?', 'Dont listen to douchebag casperrosewater. Its perfectly normal to need your parents to help you right now. However, they might not really understand the severity of the situation or want to face it right now. Try again to see if theyll find someone, if not, you call. Its tough and the mental health system is difficult, but youll find treatment. Dont give up.', 'Yeah, always.']",Ideation
user-22,"['Its hard online. Its just like trying to sell yourself like a product on amazon so image is way more important. I think you need to meet someone in real life, so go out a little more. Go to the gym, work on yourself. Most of us are ugly. Probably the girl you showed your picture to is ugly, she probably just had a little more good traits but shes probably still no more than average. Its Tired shallow of her. ', 'Im sorry. Were you in a band?', 'As a BPD myself, my thoughts on this are that most people in the medical field (especially non-doctors) worked for their special 2 or 4 year degree in helping people so they can feel accomplished themselves. These people are good at school, thorough, competent with positive outlooks who usually have no idea how to be truly compassionate. The ones who make it through school (most of the time with a tough time) get out and have a little more compassion or are truly just blessed with seeing the world in someone elses shoes and understanding. It\'s not often you come across medical proffesionals like this. Most of them don\'t get past the ""helping people"" part in their mind.  When they are 18 applying for college they go in with the mindset, ""I\'m a normal person so I can just help all the crazy people by just being normal around them.""', 'Feeling much better today. I just hate when you never know when the Suicidal thoughts are coming. ', 'Hope it ends well at least. Youre going to regret some things, but its true, some of the Pain of life are going to fade away right before your eyes. My thoughts are whatever lies ahead is just a repeat of a repeat and that youll be born again, and if thats true I hope you decide to stay longer next time. ', 'What a bummer. I really cant imagine your life. Is there anything youve ever thought of that would improve your quality of life? Something you never tried?', 'I cant say a lot of people can even imagine the Pain you are going through right now. There are still somethings  I could suggest you might enjoy, like music, meditation and reading. Thats what I enjoy. I go to a course in miracles sometimes. They are really a loving group if you can find one around your area and attend. However, I also have Influenza-like Illness and can shit in a toilet on my own. To be honest, you make me feel so lucky as selfish as that sounds. Ive been so Depression lately and you make me feel like a ridiculous spoiled child. I dont know if telling you committing suicide is a bad or good idea because Im pretty Suicidal myself. A lot of people are, a lot of healthy people who have everything going for them, they end their lives everyday. So where does that leave you? I dont know. I dont know your situation enough and who is there rooting for you everyday besides the care giver, loving you and making sure you have what you need. Just continue to be as strong as you are, because its true youre much stronger than most to endure what you have to. And when times get tough, accept death is really just around the corner for all of us, so why not try and make the most of what you have left?', 'My mom tried to commit suicide twice in two years. Overdoses sent her right to the ER. Both times I thought she was dead, but the second time I really thought that. She had a stroke, couldnt talk or move, tubes down her throat, glazed over eyes, Watery eye Bloating symptom white skin, and pretty much brain dead, but somehow she snapped out of it and we somehow forgave her again. It was almost like someone out there gave her a second chance. The doctors said it was just another miracle. My sister also went to college for therapy because she wanted to understand more of my moms bipolar constantly being in and out of the mental wards all of our lives, but she eventually got Tired of it, switched to writing major and just got her associates. You cant live for your mom. You just cant. Youre too young and shes taking your life away and she really doesnt want that for you, she just doesnt know what else to do. Take care of her but remember you have your own life. Remind her of all the accomplishments shes made. A 600k house? A bmw? her own business? Those are HUGE feats barely anyone these days can accomplish, whether she lost it all or not. Remind her how proud you are of her and the great things she has done. I dont mean to say I had it worse but my mom was collecting Disability and a professional drug and alcohol addict almost all her life. They say, true freedom is getting everything youve ever wanted and then losing it. If thats true, remind her shes free of the burdens that the business and her divorce could have caused her. She can make a new dream and start all over now and if she can get back to dreaming and working towards those dreams, she might just take off after them again and feel better. ', 'Must have been nice. You cant play at all now? If you dont mind me asking how did this happen?', 'Dont let the rapists take control of what you need to do to fight them. They might send around the video anyway if you tell the cops or not, but the longer you wait the less the cops can do and the more scared and harder it will be. Please dont be ashamed. Someone needs to be punished here so do not let it go. Go to a trust-able person and work with the cops on what to do next. ']",Ideation
user-23,['Try and get her to seek a therapist.They will help her.'],Supportive
user-24,"['Thank you so much for the advice. The only real problem I guess I have now is that I told my Dad that my Suicidal thoughts and tendencies had gone away and now I need to have my parents get me to a therapist. Dont want to seem like a liar again...', 'So heres why I want to do it:Ive been Suicidal since I was in second grade because it (being Suicidal) runs in my family. I started really thinking deeply about it in fourth grade but nothing ever happened. Last year was easily my worst year and my best year all wrapped up in a big ball of deadly emotions. It was my best year because I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I was Suicidal. It was my worst year because I tried to kill myself three times that same year. After talking to my parents I felt this wave of happiness and clarity that made me feel like I really did belong here. Lately, however, the feeling are coming back and theyre stronger than theyve ever been before (other than the times that I really tried to kill myself.) I try to make people laugh everyday because it makes me feel like even if Im doomed to a life a despair and Feeling unhappy if I could bring a smile to someone else face I could at least feel like Im benefiting somehow. Recently I feel like an empty shell of my former self. I feel like no matter how hard I try to stay happy, the world keeps shooting me back down to reality. But reality sucks...Just recently I moved from a school where I knew almost everyone and could have easily made friends with anyone I wanted. Everyone in my grade respected me, anybody else looking at my life from the outside would think that my life was great. That I had no pain, no suffering constantly going through my head, but they were wrong. I cried myself to sleep almost everyday last year and decided that I couldnt go on living this way anymore. I wanted to move in with my Dad and start school over there. I felt like a fresh start was something that would clear up my entire life and allow me to live Stress free. I was wrong, nobody knows me for who I really am. Im living a fake life in a fake shell of who I really am and it sucks. I cant move back because then my grades would drop again, but if I stay here any longer I feel like everyday Im getting closer and closer to my fourth attempt at suicide. I could go on for a while about the reasons I want to end my life because theyve been building up since I was in fourth grade, however Im 15 and have school tomorrow so I cant tell my full story just yet. Anyways, theres an extremely rough outline of my story up until now... thanks for caring...', 'Thank you for doing so, Ill add this to the arsenal, the fight carries on...', 'Well the way I try to think about it is that there wouldnt be good people without assholes. Without assholes good people would just be people, and without good people assholes would also simply be known as people. I take solace in knowing that at the end of the day everything adds up to zero. Meaning that for every asshole out there, there is someone whos as much of a good person as they are an asshole. For every negative person, theres a positive person of equal value...', 'I did have a therapist for a couple of year but it didnt really seem to help the problem.', 'Thank you so much for the advice, Im sorry for your losses. I guess one of my problems is that, in my journey of a thousand miles, every time I take a step forward I seem to take two steps back. I see everyone else around me practically sprinting to the finish and I still have yet to cross the starting line...', 'Sure, what exactly is the topic? PM me if needed.', 'Yeah Im a drummer, helps me when Im Stress out. Also a nice form of exercise... ', 'Will do, lets hope this works. Kind of out of options...', 'I really just want to know how be happy again.', 'True, even if most days it doesnt feel like it, we always take SOMETHING away from everything that happens to us...', 'Aannnnnnnd I failed... again. Apparently pills just cause stomach Muscle cramp and Common cold chills...', 'Maybe on the outside...', 'I dont know, I feel like Im doing everything right and then the world punishes me for trying...', 'Greetings other other me.', 'As someone who thinks about suicide on a daily basis, a really helpful personal philosophy for me is that were all going to die eventually so why bother rushing it? If anything, this time we have right now should be spent showing life that were not its bitch, no matter how much it throws in our way.', 'I can kind of relate to the school thing. I switched schools as a form of suicide/rebirth. I wanted to start a new life as a new me, but now Im stuck in an even worse spot than I was in before...', 'Student...', 'Knowing me Id spend all the money on lithium. I need more lithium in me than the energizer bunny could ever dream about...', 'Sorry if this is unrelated, but may I ask how you got over your depression? I feel like Ive tried everything...', 'Anything that people will remember me for after Im gone. Ive done some things in my life that younger me never thought I would have accomplished, but none of it keeps the memory of me alive for Tired long. Im a musical prodigy (according to others) but that doesnt really get me anywhere I want to be. I cant make a career out of that to allow the memory of me to continue on...']",Attempt
user-25,"['To update you guys friend called police in me got send to hospital. Im home now some one want to talk?', '15 here pm me please. Had a relationship that went south after she moved to England ', 'They use it as a threat to keep you alive. Im Im the same boat as you with my girlfriend I tell her and they threaten to call the police. It keeps you alive thats all I can say.', 'Exact same position as you. Gf cheated when she moved to England. Im 15 got Skype? Pm me! Also attempt suicide last Thursday', 'Remove that message of your number should have pmd it. You dont want bad people harassing you because trolls do pass through here.', 'Pm me your number or Skype or email or something!!!! I want someone to talk to too :) Im 15', 'Im trying to hold on dude tomorrow might be it', 'I tried before it didnt scare me away. I reattempted and again after that. Crying a lot right now.', 'If you know its Psychotic disorder than you know it isnt true.', 'Not my first love :) but thanks for trying to help. No just get home a sleep in the bathroom because I cant stand my family. And no with her I cant stand anyone l. I shut the lights and lay there to pretend Im dead its a lot simpler to just do it :', 'Same position as you and I would love to talk :)', 'Pm me again ', 'Im 15 wanna talk pm me ur number or Skype or something. I cut and have attempted suicide ', 'Dont give me that its just the constant let down of people around me to the point where Im done.I failed the first time in killing myself I wont fail again.', 'I have stuff I like doing and its fun and all but underneath Im dying inside so its not enjoyable and the meds arent working Im hopeless.', 'If you like rap the amazing lyricist who has passed now, Capital STEEZ was obsessed with the number 47. A great inspiration and a schizophrenic. All of his songs relate to it and sadly killed himself on 12/23/2012 which adds to 2047. Really interesting guy.', 'Still need Skype friend?', 'But that isnt how the system works, as much as you would like to believe that people who need help get help. In reality unless they can see it 100% you arent getting shit, especially with schizophrenia. If you know you need help but its all in your head you need to express to the less known that its a real problems so an act of someSort might be necessary. It isnt disgusting, the world isnt perfect. ', 'Dude you got Skype. Im in the same position as you. I build computers too. :) Edit: tried to end it last Thursday Im always free to talk. Life is worth it']",Attempt
user-26,"['So your place could use a cleaning, I dont think that makes you evil. The good thing is that you acknowledge your feelings, again we cant control the way we think.', 'Im sorry that youre going through all that. But Id have to disagree when you say that you are selfish. You clearly care about your mom, and want dont want to make her life difficult. Killing yourself will not do that. You talk about missing chances and opportunities, but thats the great thing about life, there will always be more. Hang in there, I know you can do it. Ill be here if you need to talk.', 'Please reconsider, lets talk about this. Why do you want to die?', 'No problem, happy to do it. Yeah, studying can get a little overwhelming especially with your family bugging you. Stick with it man.', 'Its hard to show Feeling unhappy in front of the ones we care about. Its good that youre all there for each other. You and youre brother might both do better if you acknowledged your Feeling unhappy and leaned on each other. Just be happy is the worst kind of advice, from people who dont understand. Im sorry I have to go now, can I talk to you tomorrow?', 'I know youve heard it gets better before, but it bears repeating. I know its hard to meet new people, but if you keep at it eventually youll actually find some worth meeting. If you feel like talking to other people who might have similar problems might I suggest /r/introvert? Keep your chin up, and feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to.', 'Im sorry that youve had to go through all that you have, but from what Im reading here I see a strong young man with a lot of potential. Working and school are tough enough, but finding the time to regularly work out and hold your family together? Props to you man. And when did it become pretentious to read? Fuck whoever told you that. Youre clearly a strong, smart man. I think you can fight your dark side, and overcome your problems to go on and do great things. Stay strong, I believe in you.', 'It sounds like you have a lot of energy and passion, but because of that you can sometimes make bad decisions. Its completely natural to do stupid things in hopes of love, but you need to remember that your health and wellness come first. By no means are you a monster.', 'You can believe that if you want. But trust me, theres no way anybody who has gone through what you have isnt.', 'If it matters to you, it matters. And the way you feel matters to me as well. It might not be my place to ask but have you two considered a marriage counselor? And are you seeing a therapist? A good one can make all the difference in the world.  ', 'To include your therapist. Please at least talk to him before you consider doing anything Injury of muscle.', 'Im sorry I think Im missing the point.', 'Theres no need to apologize. Your expressing the emotions of a clearly caring and intelligent mind. It would be impossible to put that into a couple short sentences. Are you currently seeing a therapist? If not please consider it, they might make all the difference in the world helping your transition. Youre right school can be tough, and people can be assholes. But you know what fuck them. It might seem like a long time now but in a couple of years youll never have to see any of them again. It sounds like you get a lot of Stress about your weight, if you are interested in getting in shape might I recommend /r/fitness? But dont worry what other people think of it, if they dont like it, again fuck them. Stay strong man.', 'I would really recommend making it clear to someone close, what you are going through. This doesnt have to be something you do alone. And you say that youre tired, that youve been trying for a long time. That means youve come a long way, and that means you are strong.', 'What makes you say you have an evil soul?', 'That sucks, do you have a court date set up? Do you have anything in mind that you would like to try for? It doesnt sound like youve had Tired good counselors, thats a terrible argument and how is it supposed to make you feel better? Just because a sprained ankle isnt broken, doesnt mean it doesnt Pain. At best that would only make you feel guilty. I would urge you to keep looking for a counselor that works well with you.I know its hard not to compare yourself to others but, it really wont help. No matter how well anyone does in life, there will always be someone doing better at certain aspects. Try to focus on what you need, and where you want to be.  ', 'They stand by you because they care about you. And so do I. Stay tough, I know you can do it.', 'You just need to keep looking. There are groups everywhere trying to help people. You clearly want to help people and thats a good thing.', 'Thats tough. Im sorry that youre going through all of this. Thats terrible that your family treated you like that, but please dont let that stop you from accepting compliments and knowing youre a great person. Are you currently seeing a therapist? Hang in there, there are people who care. If you need to vent some more, Ill be here.', 'Please dont be so hard on yourself, holding grudges is something we all do. Some people just hide it better than others. Are there other options? You might not be quite where you want academically, but it seems to me like youve come a lot farther than many, many other people. And you should be proud of that.Dont count your break ups before they hatch. There might still be time to patch things up with this girl, dont make decisions you cant take back over something that hasnt happened yet. Youre a bright talented individual, dont let anyone tell you different.   ', 'Im  sorry youre going through all of that. But you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Are you currently seeing a therapist? Stay strong, I believe in you. There are people who care.', 'Im sorry Im confused. Whats all ending?', 'Being out of our comfort zone is well uncomfortable, you shouldnt have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Why are things going badly at home?', 'It might seem like a really long time, but compare that to the permanence of death. Even if it takes a long time to get to the light at the end of the tunnel, isnt that better than nothing? I seriously urge you to have an honest discussion with your parents, make it clear that you need help. Theres a whole world out there waiting for you, and its full of people who care.', 'Im sorry you have to worry about your mother as well as yourself. But do you think its better to withdraw, or to try and work on your relationships? Good luck, stay strong I know you can.', 'You cant blame yourself for panic attacks. Its not like you decided you wanted to have them. Thats good that youre willing to give it a try. Let me know how it goes! Hang in there, I know you can do it.', 'Please? I know you can do it. For your kids. I know its not much, but Im here and I care.', 'Im sorry you are going through such a rough patch right now. Are you seeing a therapist to help you with this? Hang in there, I know you can do it. There are people who care.', 'Please, please reconsider this. Im sorry that things are hard right now, but youve seen that it can get better. There are going to be ups and downs in life. But without the downs how could we appreciate the ups? You were strong enough to come back from the edge before. I believe in you, and know you can do it again. Ill be here if you need to talk.', 'Be physically close to her. If you really are worried, dont leave her on her own. But more importantly talk to her about it. Good luck, I hope your sister is ok.', 'That is a tricky one. You can do something about it, it just takes energy and drive. I believe you can do it. ', 'That must suck, Im sorry to hear that youre going through that. Its good that you recognize cutting for what it is and are fighting the urges. Is there anything specific that brings on these feelings? Stay strong, I know you can get through this.', 'Jesus man youve clearly had a hell of a time. Im sorry to hear about everything youve gone through. However you shouldnt feel like the guy you were describing is better than you in any way. Youre staying true to yourself in the face of adversity and that takes guts. I guess the only advice I have is to keep seeking out people who will be supportive of you. There are people who arent going to judge you and like you just the way you are. Also maybe try running, the sense of accomplishment and endorphins always make me feel good, plus it might help you get to a weight you want to be at. Good luck, and hang in there.', 'Im sorry things are so hard right now. But believe me, there is no way to quietly disappear from peoples lives, the only way to ensure theyre not traumatized is to stay with them. Dont Stress about being ""normal"" we cant control the thoughts we have, only how we react to them. Youre clearly a good, caring person, youre loved ones are lucky to have you. Ill be here if you want to talk. ', 'Hey, that sounds hard. But there is always hope. Have you sat down with your mom and gone over how you feel, and what you are upset about in a clear, organized manner? Stay strong, I know you can do it, there are people who care.', 'Dont worry about the downvotes, messed up people like to troll here. By no means is your situation hopeless, and no one wants you to kill yourself.  Its good that you are so actively seeking treatment. Im sorry you havent found one that works yet, but the only way to find one is to keep trying. Youre obviously an intelligent, driven individual. Im sure you can do it.', 'Thats tough. But you need to learn from your grandpa and not make the same mistakes. I believe you can get better. Glad your side is ok.', 'Thats hard man. Its always difficult to be the one people depend on. But you have no reason to be disappointed in yourself. Your clearly a good person who is willing to put the needs of his family over your own Pain. Have you talked to a therapist? Take care of yourself, Ill be here if you need to talk.', 'You are not useless. No matter what anyone one says, you are a good, strong, caring person. Even if you dont believe it.', 'Thats good to hear! Are you feeling any better about it?', 'Im sorry, that sounds hard. No one is worthless, you are not taking up space that someone else can use. You are unique. Are you seeing a therapist? Stay strong, there are people who care.', 'Man thats shitty, but hopefully youll be able to get it expunged.Its hard to find a good counselor, but it can really pay off. In the meantime Im no therapist, but if you just want to vent Ill be here.Mechanics is a useful skill. Thats rough about the call backs, but Im sure youll do well.', 'Anytime, happy to do it. Youre right, it is hard not to think about all the bad things that happen in the world. But just because there are people who have it worse doesnt mean you cant feel bad about your own problems. It must have taken a lot of strength to get off drugs. Hang in there man, were all pulling for you. ', 'Thats good that you have that loyalty. Its understandable that its difficult to return to normal after an incident like that, but you have to work at it. I know you can do it. Are you taking any bipolar medication? You seem like a good person, going through a rough time. Hang in there, I believe in you.', 'No one can understand exactly what youre feeling, but a twin is the closest possible thing. Please listen to your brother so you can stay in his life. Youre right things dont magically just change, but they can get better over time. ', 'Youre clearly Tired strong. Youve come this far, I believe you can keep going. Thats good that youve got a therapist. Especially one that you like. What does your husband say when you tell him how you feel?', 'Hey there, sorry to hear about what youve had to go through. First of all, please consider seeing a doctor. If youve been Illness for a Asthenia you should strongly consider getting medical attention. Also have you considered talking to these people that you feel you have let down? This negative perception could all be in your head. Also sometimes it just feels better to get everything out in the open. Stay strong, I know you can do it. ', 'Hi! Sorry that youre going through all this. Are you currently seeing a therapist? Hang in there, Ill be here if you need to talk.', 'Look at what you just said. Youre able to work, take care of your kids, and work on your marriage, all while you are struggling with this. If you dont call that strong, Id hate to see what you called me. The Exhaustion can be bad, but think of your kids. I know you can pull through.', 'No problem, anytime.', 'Wouldnt you rather have help for your Pain, and risk losing your gun?', 'Youve probably heard this first part before, so sorry about that but here it goes. Are you seeing a therapist? If you arent you really should consider it. Youve clearly got a Tired good mind, even if youre being a little hard on yourself. It sounds like most of the advice people have been giving you is all some form of self change. I disagree with that. I would suggest that you work on being comfortable with yourself. Youre clearly well spoken and Sharp Pain minded. I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned your ability to make humorous sarcastic statements. Why dont you concentrate on doing that around others if youre uncomfortable? People love a good dry sense of humor. It also sounds like you feel listless and need something to keep you grounded. Your clearly well read and eloquent. Have you tried writing? ', 'That has to be hard. I know people who struggle with Anxiety as well as Depression. Is your side ok?', 'How do you know theyll take your gun away?', 'Im sorry to hear about that. Please dont let how bad things are right now cause you to make a decision you cant take back. Eventually things will get better. Are you seeing a therapist? Hang in there, there are people who care.', 'Im sorry that youre going through this. Are you currently seeing a therapist? Stay strong there are people that care about you. ', 'First of all, there is nothing wrong with you. Its perfectly natural to feel upset and betrayed when your friend starts ignoring you. But your right man girls can be tricky, everyone gets a little awkward around them now and again. Dont hate yourself at all, but especially not because of how you feel, or how youve tried to express it. You cant keep feeling guilty about what you did in the past. Eventually we move on and meet new people. We keep up with the ones we care about, and the ones who dont keep up with us arent worth caring about.', 'No one lives up to their full potential, its just something that happens in an imperfect world. But that doesnt mean we shouldnt keep trying. Its good that you have plans and dreams. Youre clearly Tired intelligent and talented, Im sure you can achieve them.', 'I am by no means a financial expert but Im sure you can get some advice over at r/personalfinance. Its always worth it to continue struggling. It sounds kind of goofy but theres nothing like the pride that comes from knowing that you gave it your fucking best, left it all on the field and earned what you have. Its easy to feel like youre all alone in the world but just remember there are people out there who care about you.', 'If its not too much to ask, do you mind explaining what happened with him? And although it might not seem like much there are people here who are neither uncaring or cold, who care about what happens to you. ', 'What do you mean trouble?', 'I believe in you, I think you can.', 'Feeling directionless is never fun.  Sometimes its hard to find something inspiring, or something to be passionate about.  Do you mind if I ask how old you are? Also I dont buy the whole ""right to feel bad"" argument which you referenced.  We all have our own capacity for Feeling unhappy, which will effect us in a completely unique way.  Regardless of whether or not weve ""earned it"" in the eyes of others.  You have no reason to feel bad about feeling bad.       ', 'Im sure youve heard it a million times, but let me say it too. Im so sorry for what happened to you and your family. It sounds like you get a lot of Stress from worrying that you wont be able to live a ""normal"" life. But you also mention that there are distractions, even if they are only temporary. What if you focused more on those types of activities? Maybe then if you are involved in something you enjoy, you will meet people who share common interests and make social interaction easier. RyanBDawg is right, support groups could be Tired useful to you. And if that is too difficult there will always be people here who care.  ', 'Please stop and reconsider. You sound like a Tired smart person with a lot of potential. You mentioned that there were several points in your life when you picked up the pieces and started doing well for yourself. I know its hard but you can do it again. Fuck your friends, dont let the actions of shitty people convince you to take your life. Your better than them, and the best revenge is to live well. In the meantime please consider talking to a professional about this.', 'She sounds like a good woman. What wouldnt be fair would be to make a decision you cant take back, without her ever knowing about how you feel. Hang in there, I know you can do it.', 'Hey, Im sorry that youre going through all of this. Why would you say you dont deserve anything? Your worry about the people who care about you shows that you are a good caring person. Stay strong, I believe in you. Ill be here if you need to talk.', 'Yeah that can be hard. But 4 days is a lot of time, Im sure you can do it. Just remember to take breaks and not let it overwhelm you.', 'Please reconsider talking to them. What if they can help you? This isnt something you should have to go through alone.', 'It sounds like youve had a hard time. I hope things pick up for you soon. Are you currently talking to a counselor about these feelings? Stay strong, I believe you can pull yourself through this.', 'No mind is beyond repair. Im sure you can get through this.', 'Youre clearly a good, caring person. But please dont let your feelings for your girlfriend cause you to do something drastic. There are always temptations in life, we just need to be strong. I believe in you, I know you can do it.', 'Seriously wifi in a graveyard? How many bars? Honestly though its good that you acknowledge doubt. If for no other reason just keep going because why not? I believe that its still Tired possible for you to have that kind of life. Dont ever feel bad for the way that you feel. You cant change your emotions, only how you respond to them. But were here to help. ', 'Why would it be naive to think life can get better? I believe you can get through this. Are you seeing a therapist? Things may look dark and be hard right now, but no one is destined to be unhappy forever. Hang in there, were all pulling for you.', 'The important thing is that youre still hanging on. I know it seems like a long time now but soon youll be an adult and can make your own decisions. In the mean time keep reaching out to get the help you need in whatever way you can. There are people out there who care. ', 'Please at least wait until you can talk to him first. Do you have the number to his office? ', 'Im sorry to hear how hard things have been for you. Life can get pretty overwhelming sometimes, but I believe you can handle it. Why dont you try making a list of what you have to do, and just work your way through that? Maybe that will help you to feel less overwhelmed. As to how to tell an interviewer youre on probation I would recommend starting with that information. If you have to tell them anyway, you might as well be upfront about it, so you can explain yourself. Hang in there, you sound like a Tired strong person. I believe you can get through this.', 'Even if it just helped you organize your thoughts, you wouldnt have written this for nothing. The inevitability of death can frighten us all. But that doesnt mean we shouldnt do what we can, with the time we have.YOU are awesome. Stay strong, Im pulling for you.', 'That must be hard. But why do you think youre a failure? No one can succeed at everything all of the time. Depressions tough, but I hang in there I know you can.', 'It might sound stupid, but why do you keep watching the movie?', 'Im sorry to hear how hard things have been for you. Its perfectly natural to feel trapped when so many things have gone wrong, but does not mean that life can not get better. Are you sure youve been charged with anything? Thats usually something they make sure isnt ambiguous. Can you transfer any credits from your previous school experiences to a new one? Also are you currently seeing a counselor? Your 20s are not over, they have only just begun. Dont judge yourself by what your friends are doing, you need to focus on whats best for you. You seem like a tough, strong, driven individual. Hang in there, I know you can do it.', 'Im sorry that youre family is being hard on you. But you need to make your feelings clear to them, so they can help you.You dont have to do anything you dont want to, but I would recommend talking to a school psychologist. They want to help you, thats what theyre there for.You dont need a person to tell you whats wrong and whats right. Youre clearly a good, giving person. Lean on your friends a little, friendship is a two way street. But either way if youre doing things that make you uncomfortable, simply stop doing them. Stay strong, there are people out there who care.', 'Im so sorry that you have to go through this. But take the Pain you feel right now, and imagine if your family had to feel it again for you. Except worse because you were cut down in your prime. If for no other reason stay for them. I believe you can do it.', 'You can do it. I believe in you. There are people here who care.', 'Anytime', 'First of all the amount you clearly care about your loved ones is amazing. I would urge you to talk with them about how you feel. Im sure they want to help you. Suicidal urges are hard to fight especially on your own. Please reconsider and get the help you need, this isnt a burden you have to carry alone.  ', 'Hey there. Im sorry to hear about whats been happening to you. Youre clearly a caring individual with love for your daughter. If you dont have anything else to keep fighting for, fight for her. She needs a parent, and it sounds like your fiancee is in no condition to be there for her. Breaking bad is a good show, Im sorry it invokes Pain memories though. Do you just watch that, or do you enjoy dramas in general? Stay strong, there are people who care. Ill be here if you want to talk. ', 'Ok, sleep well. Please take care of yourself.', 'Yeah Im really bad about studying as well. Youre right it definitely helps when theres someone to keep you on task.', 'I think it has to do with only thinking from their perspective. From their point of view it would be selfish of you to take yourself away from them forever. They dont understand how you feel, and thats why they think that its you who is being selfish. However they are right, it is a Injury of muscle action. As you can attest things can get better, and you can come back from the brink, but not if you go through with suicide.', 'Its completely understandable to have difficulty talking about your emotions, especially with your family. That being said please, please be honest with them. The support of a family is invaluable. And trust me, little hints are not going to do the trick, even if they are picking up on them its quite possible they are unsure and dont want to make you feel uncomfortable. Talk with them, be straightforward, and most importantly find a good therapist.', 'I think its better to keep fighting, and I believe you can do it. Are you seeing a doctor about your Pain?', 'Thats shitty. You shouldnt be judged by the actions of others. Keep your chin up, there are people who care. In the mean time you can vent to me.', 'Have you looked into some sort of government assistance? Depending on where you live, that could be an option.', 'You cant let fears of a hypothetical future affect your decisions in the present. It sounds like your Tired aware of possible problems with alcohol. Please dont start drinking to deal with bad thoughts if you know that it will end badly. May I ask why youre unwilling to seek help? If youre uncomfortable with a 1 on 1 therapy session there are many support groups out there.', 'Bro hug for being a fellow, shy accident child, interested in science, but still not great at math. Cant say that I have your talent in music though. Im sorry that your dad treated you so shitty. But please dont let that color your view of your friends. Dont worry about what you ""deserve"" to feel. Your emotions are your own. Hang in there man, youre clearly a smart, intelligent man. I believe you can pull through this. There are people out there who care. ', 'Haha I like you too. How are things going now?', 'You absolutely do not sound like a weirdo. How could the desire to be understood sound ridiculous? It sounds like you have a perfectly normal desire, but its hard to express it in a standard way.', 'Its tempting to view suicide as a release. But we have no way of knowing what happens after death. Most likely we just stop and theirs nothing. I dont know what you believe, but isnt the potential for good in your life better than just nothing?', 'Please dont do it. There are an infinite number of other options left for you. Does your dad know you feel this way? Maybe hed lay off if you told him. Either way dont let him get you down too much. Youre not a disappointment, and youre not a waste of anything. Youre clearly an intelligent, talented individual. I believe you can get through this, Ill be here if you need to talk.', 'That must feel awful to have your best friend turn on you, Im sorry you had to go through that. But please dont let that Pain make you take your own life. Im sorry to have to disagree with you but there is always hope, and there are people who care about you. Im sure you know many but at the Tired least, I care about you and so does everyone here. Feel free to PM if you want to talk about your friend or anything else.', 'Cant or dont?', 'A noble thought. Have you considered finding a way to channel it into helping your community? ', 'Good luck! Let us know how it goes. Ill be here if you need to talk.', 'You dont have to give up. You can do it, I know you can. Please stay with us, well help you through this.', 'Do you mind if I ask why youve purposefully estranged yourself? Good luck with surgery. Dont give up on humanity just yet, people might be have some bad qualities, but that doesnt make them evil. Hang in there I know you can.', 'Be careful, dont do anything rash. Im sorry I have to go now. Can I talk to you tomorrow?', 'Please consider trying again, its hard to find a therapist that you like. But the difference between one you like and one whos just ok can make all the difference in the world. Stay strong, were all pulling for you.', 'Please dont do it. Youre family would not be better off in the long run, or the short run. Stay for your kids, they need their mom. Stay strong, youve come this far, I believe you can do it.', 'Thats a shame. The fading in and out can be tough. But at least there are ups to go along with the downs. Anything in particular thats making it worse?', 'You dont have to fight alone. There are people who care. It might not seem like much, but the people on here want to help you. Stick with it, Ill be here if you want to talk.', 'In my experience people who are overly self-critical are usually much better people then they are willing to give themselves credit for. The flip side of this is that they can be unnecessarily hard on themselves. Theres a difference between being realistic about your life and goals, and being overly self-critical. I believe youve got the drive and talent to be the person you want to be, without being so hard on yourself.', 'Its entirely possible for you to get all the friends and girls you want. It just takes some time. I know its hard but you just need to keep picking yourself up. You can do it, I believe in you.', 'Short answer, no. The only way to keep your family from having to go through that is to keep on living. Why would you think youll be alone forever? You seem like a genuine, caring, intelligent person. Youre clearly in a lot of Pain, but please dont let the actions of this other person make you take your own life. Do you mind me asking what happened there? Also it might not seem like a lot, but youre not alone now. I care about you and so does everyone here.', 'If she says she forgives you, then trust her in that. Dont look for a problem that might not be there. Dont be ashamed, this is clearly a complicated and confusing time for you. You just need to find out for yourself what the answer is. You can do it, I believe in you.', 'Congratulations for getting off drugs. Im not going to argue that many people try to avoid thinking, and there are problems in the world. But there is good as well, and there are people who think and want to help. If were all just waiting to die, whats the rush? Enjoy your distractions, while you can. Enjoy your girlfriend, and enjoy your music. Even if thats all we have, I still think its quite a lot. Stay strong.', 'Anytime. Seriously, anytime you need someone to listen feel free to message me.', 'Hey man, Im sorry you had to go through all of that. It cant be easy having to deal with all of that. But youre clearly strong, you can pull through this. I know you can. In the mean time Ill be here if you need to talk.', 'Youre clearly an intelligent person with a way with words. You admit that you know it must get better, why not work towards that? If youre having trouble finding something to do, to keep life interesting might I suggest writing or poetry? You honestly do have a way with words. Dont give up, Im pulling for you. ', 'Thats great! Im happy to hear that youre doing better. And Im happy to keep talking to you. Have your finals started yet? ', 'Yeah math is tough, good luck with that.', 'Languages were always one of my hardest classes as well. Props to you for choosing math, I just never had a good grasp on it. Im happy to keep replying, of course Im not annoyed. Good luck with your Dutch exam.', 'Let us get to know the real you. Im sure youre a great person. Its hard to tell over the internet, but we wont have that problem if you stay with us.', 'Im sorry to hear about all that. But Im curious as to why you think you are a failure. I wish I was smart enough to stumble into Princeton. You are clearly an intelligent person with many interests. I truly believe that you have a lot of potential and can do great things. Its perfectly natural to feel Stress about the possibility of employment, especially in the current job market. But please dont let that cause you to do something you cant take back. Stay strong, Im here if you want to talk.', 'Why would you think you dont deserve to live? It looks to me like youre a talented person who just made some mistakes. It sounds like you just need support to stop smoking, try being honest with your family, Im sure theyll want to help you. Have you tried any support groups, or drug programs? You mention there are things you still want to do, there is plenty of time for you to do them. I believe this is a problem you can solve, and certainly not worth killing yourself over. Stay strong, there are people who care.', 'But youve clearly got drive and ambition. If you can quit hard drugs you can do anything. And it might not seem like much but you still have people who support and care about you here.', 'Wouldnt it be better to alter your plan just a little? ', 'First off, in no way shape or form do you sound stupid and whiny, so you can cut that shit out right now. Anything that is important to you is important. Not to mention Suicidal thoughts and abusive relatives are anything but trivial. Are you currently seeing a therapist? Also do you mind me asking how old you are? You might have other options besides living with your grandmother.Hang in there I know you can do it. Youre obviously a strong, caring person. Pet your dog for me, Ill be here if you need to talk.  ', 'Your family is probably trying to avoid an uncomfortable situation, that doesnt mean they dont care about you. They care about you so much they will completely forget about you yelling at them. Stay strong, I know you can do it.', 'Dont hate yourself. You are not hopeless. Youre going t",Indicator
user-27,"['Thanks for the effort, but you missed the point. I just wanted advice on how to push away any thought of offing myself that might be comforting. I dont need reassurance that I can make more friends when I move, thats not a problem. Its not that I feel isolated either. I enjoy the quality time I spend with myself, and I have plenty of great friends. ""We are all alone at times ... get over it"" isnt much help, its not even close to the problem.If you have >advice on how to dismiss these sort of thoughts I would greatly appreciate it. ']",Ideation
user-28,"['Pretty sure weve dated in the past. When I read your screed what I see most of all is the word ""I.""  It is abundantly clear to me that the only thing you have to focus on is yourself and you hate this with an unbridled passion.  Yet you turn deeper inward which makes you hate *more.*What have you done to make the world a better place lately?Whom have you helped?How have you changed your environment for the betterment of those who come after you?You speak of patients.  Im guessing your ability to improve the livelihood of those you work with professionally is being hampered by your inner experience and this isnt helping your well-being either.  Its time to reset the clock.Take a working vacation.  Plant trees for a Asthenia.  Join the Peace Corps.  Do *something* wherein you are out of your comfort zone, doing things you dont know how to do, for people you do not know.  Ctrl-Alt-Delete your day-to-day and see what changes.  It seems like you have nothing to lose.', '>But that advice you gave wasnt always valid. Nowhere did I say it was.  It was advice for exactly one person.  One person who clearly was not considering his situation rationally, yet was considering his behavior rational.  The key to such situations is to illuminate the irrationality of that behavior - I even gave examples of when it might be rational.  Yet you steadfastly refuse to see this.>I feel like itd be pretty rational. Ill consider doing an X-post shortly.Ive already seen some of your situation.  You have professional training, you have a daughter, you have a whole lot to live for.  It is *not* rational to conflate ""Im in a shitty job market"" with ""I should just kill myself."">What you said was untrue, no matter who you said it to.What I said was ""youre not thinking rationally.""  Thats as true as true can be.  When a 21-year-old with a viable social network says ""I have no future"" it is not a rational statement.  Ill say for the umpteenth time - there are rational times to contemplate suicide.  I delineated a few in my response.  My advice to the OP was that **HIS** situation was not rational.  Yet you keep saying ""thats not true for me, and its not true always.""###NO SHIT.So let me reiterate - this entire thread is a full-stop, all-hands-on-deck attempt by every interested and disinterested party to influence the behavior of the **SUBMITTER.**  Thats not you, thats not anyone else, and its anything but universal.  I stand 100% behind everything I said, and I stand 100% behind the notion that were you to commit suicide, it would not be a rational act, either.But Im not going to continue to debate here, in this thread, whether or not what I wrote for *him* makes sense for *you* because right here?  Right now?  This isnt about you.You wanna make it about you, submit something.  Until then, go pester someone else.', 'Totally, d00d.  Break some shit.  When I was good and Depression, and good and *angry,* I used to take glass jars into the canyon and destroy them with nunchucks.  Good times.', 'Been there, done that, man.  Im going to tell *you* what nobody told *me*:Teenagers arent in their right mind.Serious.  It isnt a psychological thing or anything - its pure anatomy.  Your brain is rewiring a crapload of neurons in your teens and that process makes you think truly stupid things are good ideas.  Youre drowning in an overdose of hormones that your body needs but your mind really doesnt.  Youre being overwhelmed from a biochemical standpoint AND a neurological standpoint *as well as* having to spend multiple hours a day with beknighted idiots suffering through the exact same bullshit as yourself.I wont even get into whatevers going on in your life because its inconsequential to the problem: *youre in a short-term medical crisis that is entirely chemical.*  Itll get better, just like zits, just like excessive sweating, just like errant boners in math class.Trust me.  Youll have a much better handle on this stuff when you can think straight.  Bookmark this link.  Set a date on your calendar.  Come back in a year and tell me whats changed and whats stayed the same.  Suicide is forever.  17 is just a year.  You might not be un-fucked in the head by 18, but Ill wager youll be on your way.', 'So what do you do if suicide is the rational, logical choice?*You recognize that your perspective on ""rational"" and ""logical"" is completely and utterly blown.*Ill get back to being nice in just a minute, but for this brief sentence **SNAP THE FUCK OUT OF IT!**Know who else was a college dropout from a small village in Eastern Europe?  [Nikola Tesla.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikola_tesla)Know who pumped Excessive upper gastrointestinal gas and parked cars before getting rich enough to not really care when Eddie Griffin crashed his Ferrari Enzo?  [Daniel Sadek.](http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=newsarchive&sid=aTqNSIm9G.To)Know who dropped out of High School and lived with her mom in a car?  [Hilary Swank.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hilary_Swank)You know the difference between a college grad and a college dropout?  The former thinks his $100,000 slip of paper will help him get a $30k a year job.  The latter is just as hopeless, but better off financially.*   *   *  Look.  You cant ""logic"" your way out of Depression.  You cant ""argue"" your way out of Emotional upset situations.  You also cant ""logic"" your way into them.  I read your headline and was expecting ""I have terminal cancer"" or ""I just committed capital murder and theyre going to catch me"" or ""[My arm has been crushed by this boulder for five days and Im starting to drink my own urine.""](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aron_Ralston)  But no, your ""rational, logical"" choice is ""I have a loving family, a spectacular command of the English language, a roof over my head and Ive managed to turn a temporary setback into a life-ender.""Know what drives friends away?  Depression.  Know what makes things appear hopeless?  Depression.  Know what keeps us from thinking straight?  Depression.  Know what blows our perspective all to fuck?  Depression.Know whats an organic, biological disorder?  Depression.Your parents ""barely cope"" with you being gay.  That means they havent thrown you out of the house, even though youre a friendless, disappointing college dropout who likes teh cock.  You have absolutely *nothing* to lose by saying ""Mom, dad?  Im really Depression.  I thought about killing myself.  But Im starting to realize that really Im just feeling trapped and as if my life is at a dead end.  Can you help me?  Can you give me ideas as to what to do?  Because the long life I have ahead of me does not seem like its worth living right now and Ill do anything to change that.""You also said ""almost"" no friends.  That means you have at least a couple.  Nows the time to test those friendships.  Know what a friend is?  Someone you can obligate with your troubles because you know theyd do the same for you.  Go to your closest friend and say ""Im sorry Ive been such a drag to be around lately, man, but Im really Depression.  Id love your help to bring me out of it"" and see what happens.It seems to me that you have more of a social network than a lot of people contemplating suicide.  It also seems to me that if you really *could* think clearly about this, you wouldnt be contemplating suicide.  *And if I can get you to recognize that youre* **NOT** *thinking clearly, your healing can start.*Know who else wasnt likely to ""have offspring?""[Oscar Wilde.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oscar_wilde)[Alan Turing.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Turing)[James Randi.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Randi)Theres a world of difference between ""offspring"" and ""legacy.""  Dont let yours be ""the kid who thought the world ended after he couldnt cut college.""', 'Depressions a bitch, man.  The worst part is what youre experiencing isnt entirely related to whats going on around you - a whole bunch of it is a biochemical imbalance.This might get better on its own - mine did.  Well, after I moved and completely changed my life.  But itll get better faster if you enlist outside help.Youre sick.  You can either tough it out like an idiot or you can enlist whatever health is around you.  I dont know if you have benefits through work but if you do, consult a psychiatrist or counselor.Good luck, and stick around.  Were here for you.', 'What would your friends say if you told them about the 9mm?Try it.  See what happens.  ', 'All right then.What, exactly, would make you happy?  Dying is not an option.  Presume youre annoyingly immortal.  What do you satisfy yourself with?Douglas Adams wrote about an immortal man in one of the Hitchhikers books.  This man, so annoyed with immortality, tooled all around the universe insulting people in alphabetical order.  Would that give you purpose?You are filled with self-hatred, yet you are also filled with hatred for the rest of the world.  Have you considered becoming a super-villain?Because in all honesty, what I see is a lot of excuses as to why *you* cant change, and why *the rest of the world* isnt worth your effort.  Youre stuck in a rut and quite comfortable to sit there bitching about things.', 'There will be other girls.  They will all be better than this one.You are not alone.  We are listening.You arent going to be this sad again.  Youre young.  That sounds flippant, and Im sorry.  The fact of the matter is that biologically speaking, your bloodstream is being hammered by so many different hormones that half of the moods you feel dont have anything to do with you at all.It will get much better, trust me.  And someday soon, you will be able to use this Pain you feel right now to reach out to someone else... someone who is feeling what you can only remember.Hang in there, bud.  Take it from me - the Pain youre in is giving you a far greater ability to appreciate joy than those whose lives have been easy.', '>Im self taught, though with a fair bit of experience and skills.Even better.  All hail the auto-didact for he is best at bootstrapping.>I dont have a daughter in anything but a financial sense, I have no involvement in her life, nor do I expect to ever have a good relationship with her, what with the whole her-mother-being-the-symbol-of-all-that-is-evil bit.Sounds like youre letting the bitch win.  Why would you want to do that?  Did you ever think that maybe your daughter *wants* to know her father and that by taking your standpoint youre actively abetting her mothers schemes?>However for me, even in a good job market I have no real financial independence and cant even afford a small apartment. Thats still a long goddamn way from ""I should off myself.""  Hell, dude, buy a surplus school bus, put a franklin stove in it and live in it.  Plenty of my friends set up 1500sqft domiciles for less than $1000.>Every time I get a raise or a better paying job, she somehow learns of it immediately and my support payments go up a couple of weeks later.Itty boo.  Start doing handicrafts on the side.  Wash dishes under the table.  Not all income is *declared* income and when youre talking about ""killing yourself"" or ""bouncing a few nights a Asthenia under the table"" there really isnt any parity of thought.>I dont actually have much of anything to live for, my life for over six years now has been one endless day of hell. Ive had it up to here with hearing about my obligations to other people who all so casually dismiss any towards me. Slaves have a duty to escape.run to fuckin mexico, then.  >No trust me, go back and read it, thats not what you said.I know what I wrote, and I know who I wrote it to.  It wasnt to you.>Heres a suggestion: relating to people as fellow human beings rather than objects to be manipulated might be a better approach.Self-involved much?  Ive spent the afternoon swapping tales with YOU, SPECIFICALLY, despite the fact that you were completely unknown to me before getting insulting and condescending to a total stranger.  ""objects to be manipulated?""  Youre the one who keeps asking for peoples help just so he can shut down any idea they come up with to continue to stew in your own juices.  Heres MY suggestion:  If you want help, ask for it and listen to peoples responses.  Imagine what sort of life youd have if  you followed through with all of them to their completion, rather than just shutting things down so you dont have to venture out of your comfortable cage.  ""slaves have a duty to escape.""  Youre so adamantly opposed to change it astounds me.  Yet when you crank about people who ""casually dismiss obligations towards me"" you ignore the fact that youve got a living, breathing daughter - THAT YOURE PAYING FOR - that you arent even bothering to consider.', 'Go for the divorce.  Its reversible.', 'Nowhere did I say ""man up.""  What I said was ""So what do you do if suicide is the rational, logical choice?You recognize that your perspective on ""rational"" and ""logical"" is completely and utterly blown.""I further advised the kid >You have absolutely nothing to lose by saying>""Mom, dad? Im really Depression. I thought about killing myself. But Im starting to realize that really Im just feeling trapped and as if my life is at a dead end. Can you help me? Can you give me ideas as to what to do? Because the long life I have ahead of me does not seem like its worth living right now and Ill do anything to change that."">You also said ""almost"" no friends. That means you have at least a couple. Nows the time to test those friendships. Know what a friend is? Someone you can obligate with your troubles because you know theyd do the same for you. Go to your closest friend and say ""Im sorry Ive been such a drag to be around lately, man, but Im really Depression. Id love your help to bring me out of it"" and see what happens.>It seems to me that you have more of a social network than a lot of people contemplating suicide. It also seems to me that if you really could think clearly about this, you wouldnt be contemplating suicide.>And if I can get you to recognize that youre NOT thinking clearly, your healing can start.Now Ill ask again - you feeling like killing yourself?  Then make a post explaining why.  Quit second-guessing what I say to someone *other* than you and then saying ""your advice doesnt work for me.""  cuz you know what?  no shit.  *thats why I didnt write it to you.*', '...yeah, thats cuz youre Depression.  Look - whos the professional here?  Whos had eight years or more of school to learn how to deal with people with mental illness?  Whos the one making over a c-note an hour to try and help people who cant help themselves?  How could your therapists inability to help you come back on *you?*  Thats like blaming the car when its water pump keeps leaking rather than blaming the mechanic.You hired a professional.  That professional isnt up to snuff.  If this were your car we were talking about, you wouldnt say ""Bad car!  That mechanic worked *so hard* to make you run better and what thanks does he get?""Youd hire another mechanic.Which do you think is more complicated - a car engine or your psyche?  Thats why they get the big bucks.  it also means that just because one person cant help you doesnt mean *no person* can help you.  Give it another go with someone else.  Its not like you have anything to lose.', 'Yours is a problem of chronic overwork and chronic underappreciation.  These are short term problems.  Yours is a Injury of muscle solution.You say you hate your family and have no problem leaving them to rot.  Have you thought of doing that?  Just drive away?  Drop the car off at the nearest lot, take your $300 for it and hop on a Greyhound to anywhere else?Try that first.  If it makes you feel better, keep trying.  Take care of *you* for a change - maybe that means panhandling, maybe that means day labor, who knows.  If it makes you feel worse, then you *do* care about your family and you care about leaving them in the lurch.  And they need to know that theyre killing you.  And that you cant carry them any more.You need change.  That much is clear.  But ""change"" does not mean ""death.""', '>My parents have already dealt with my Depression in high school. Many tears were shed and many melodramatic moments had. They would not care for it again. I wouldnt if I were them.Im sure.  Riddle me this, though, Batman - you think theyd rather deal with burying you?  You think theyd rather wonder for the rest of their lives if they could have said something different, done something different, their baby might still be here?>As for my gayness, they never accepted it. They do realize rationally thats its not something a person can be blamed for and that its not a choice. But theyre religious so they cant be fine with it.Again, theres a world of difference between ""dont accept it"" and ""dont care if you live or die."">When I say I have ""almost"" no friends I mean that I have acquaintances. Currently only two Im sort of close with. Theyre apparently dating now, good for them. Anyway, one is a Depression loser who hasnt had a girlfriend in years, has no friends and gave up on life. The other is a bipolar punk girl who has shit of her own to deal with. They know I am Depression but they think Depression is a normal condition.Sounds like all three of you could stand to support each other a little.>I agree with the poster who attacked you below. Listing all those famous people really does nothing.Hey, man.  Youre the one who said life was over.  Im just pointing out that people who had it far shittier than you went on to do great things.  If youre going to insist that your life is ""over"" Im going to insist you have no perspective on the matter.  Yeah, they had lucky breaks.  Yeah, they made friends in high places.  Yeah, they were ready to stoop really low in order to go high.  How is that any different from you?  Youre what?  21?  Do you *really* think that there are no more opportunities waiting for you?  How can you even begin to defend that?>I think what you fail to see is that this is a life ender.Damn right.  Ive been on this world roughly double the amount of time you have and you know what?  You arent thinking straight.  You have no fucking clue what lies ahead for you, so quit pretending that its all bullshit from here.  http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=http%3A//www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DwjmkCbDwsNA', 'Youre not an outsider.  Youre just deeper in the valley than the rest of us.Hell matter to you until the end of your days.  If you give it a shot, though, youll discover that the world is *full* of people who will matter to you.  If you hate the stares you get, why dont you take out the piercings? Wear a hat?  You never know - change can be good.Do something for me tomorrow.  Go out, completely unchanged.  Take a walk in the park or something.  For every weird look you get, smile.  Smile as big as you know how.  I guarantee you most people will smile back.We all feel like complete outsiders.  Yet none of us are.  I feel you from all the way over here, and I really wish you didnt Pain so much.  If I could hug you, I would.', 'There are people who firmly believe that high school is the best time of their life.  Theyre generally correct: they will spend the rest of their days remembering the glory of Homecoming, thinking about the adulation basked upon them by nerds and geeks (not) as they made their tyrannical rounds about the small pond that shall forever define their lives.There are people who firmly believe that High School is the worst time of their life, and they too are generally correct.  For unlike the jocks and popular kids and well-adapted drones that make up the Alpha class of any creche, their potential is unlimited and their boundaries are undefined.  It is only through reaching for that which is beyond that greatness can be achieved.Everyone has a nightmare relationship somewhere in their past.  Know and understand that in order to appreciate the full spectrum of life, one must know black as well as white.  Those who have not seen things as dark as you have cannot truly appreciate the brights - yours is a costly and consuming gift that you had no choice but to accept, but now that it is yours, make the most of it.Good luck.  And please dont bring up Twilight again.', 'Lets just go ahead and read the [whole exchange](http://i.imgur.com/UDOxL.png), shall we?Now - I sent you here.  I dont wanna see anybody shoot themselves.  My family has dealt with suicide plenty.I also dont want to pick a fight in /r/suicidewatch.  This is hallowed ground as far as Im concerned.  These are good people, and they dont need our petty bickering getting in the way of healing and help.I will say this:*A casual snide comment from a stranger youve never met is about the stupidest reason to off yourself Ive ever heard.*Take a deep breath.  Watch the sunset.  Listen to some Beach Boys records (dont have any?  Congratulations, now you have a quest!).  The fact that youd consider (or pretend to consider) shuffling off this mortal coil to gain the upper hand in a petty discussion with someone youve ever met should clue you in to the fact that youre not thinking straight.  If youre going to die to spite somebody, for fuck sake pick someone more important than *me.*Ill also make this point - youre still externalizing your problems, whatever they may be.  Youre looking for reasons from others, youre looking for motivations from others, youre looking for excuses from others.  What do *you* think about it?  Just *you?*  Not me, not anybody else, not whoever you feel has wronged you or righted you.  Just *you.*Yeah, I get it.  *You* feel like killing yourself.  Well, heres this asshole who thinks youre a whiney-ass titty baby (you are) who wants to make your problems the worlds problems (you do) and I *still* think you should stick around.Everybody has off days.  We dont make them better by getting other peoples permission or encouragement to kill ourselves.  We make them better by coming up with a better, more sustainable revenge than eating a gun to show your resolve on the *internet.*If youre serious about this, pick up the phone and call one of the numerous suicide hotlines in the sidebar.  Hell, PM me and Ill give you my phone number.  You know how everybody makes fun of that kid who offed himself over [Dungeons and Dragons?](http://www.tabula-rasa.info/Roleplaying/RoleplayingMyths.html)  Youre gonna make that mutherfucker look like Rambo.Dont kill yourself.  But above all, dont kill yourself over a tedious exchange with a total stranger that consumed maybe ten minutes of the day.  On the ""stupid ways to die"" scale thats somewhere between ""scratched a mosquito bite until it went septic"" and ""blew his head off because the gym teacher gave him detention"" like my buddy Tims big brother did in 8th grade.', '>Btw, listing a bunch of famous people who had it bad is pretty fucking rude.Fuck off.  You see a bunch of famous people who had it bad.  I see a bunch of famous people who didnt used to be famous and who had the same challenges as the OP.  One of us is trying to help.  The other is being a jerk.>Not having a degree is a big deal.I mix TV for a living.  The supervisor on one of my shows - the guy that hires me - didnt graduate high school.  Dont tell me what to do - you clearly have too narrow a worldview to evaluate anything I have to say.', 'Pay attention, though, tardling, thats not the situation were talking about here, which is what I spent a ridiculous amount of time pointing out.By the way, when did it become *de rigeur* to throw flames in /r/suicidewatch?  I mean, the kids already dead.  What the fuck point is there in being a rank prick with absolutely zero reading comprehension when I **wasnt even talking to you?**', 'Boxing.Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.Mui Thai.Find something physical, **full contact**, that will allow you to Pain and be Pain.The exercise will do you good, as will the violence.  From there, you shall find peace.', 'Who says you have to ""make it?""  Know why I didnt link to the millions of people who had shitty childhoods who are now leading happy, fulfilling lives?cuz if you think you need to be Hilary Swank to be happy, youve got other problems than Depression.', 'You dont suck, you dont feel listened to.  Some people *never* work through their issues with their parents - and one of them was our president for eight years.Im not going to tell you *not* to kill yourself.  Actually, yeah I am - would you expect anything less?  But perhaps more importantly, dont kill yourself because you have a shitty therapist.You need to find a better therapist.  The person who has been working with you has clearly done all he can - maybe thats because hes not Tired good at his job, maybe its because youre a tough nut to crack.  Either way, will you do me the favor of trying a different therapist for a while before you do anything Injury of muscle?', 'My uncle committed suicide in 1952.I was born in 1974.I had to deal with my mom freaking out every time I didnt call home on time because that meant Id killed myself......and the fact that she figured by the time you hit 38, youve seen twice what you need to see  (since her brother died at 19)......because my fucking uncle, who died 22 years before I was even born, couldnt hack Harvard.Suicide is a dick move.  Youre fucking up the lives of people who arent even living yet.', 'Then ask *me*, dont say ""what youre telling that kid is wrong.""  By the way, you didnt say ""I feel like killing myself because my parents dont fully accept the fact that Im gay and I feel trapped in Eastern Europe with no education.""  You said ""Conniving baby mamma who I begged not to have my child and ruin my relationship with the woman I loved did it, then takes most of my income. I have no money, no realistic prospects for a family or good education, no chance of ever pursuing my dreams. Fed up with unrewarding, slave-like existence and need alternatives.""Those two experiences dont meet at any single point.  And, having read your link, it seems that you arent at all interested in getting advice - youre interested in shutting down a whole bunch of reasonable advice so that you can continue to feel sorry for yourself.So - are you feeling like killing yourself?  Then we should talk about that.  You should make a post and we can talk.  This is a Tired supportive forum for stuff like that.  But when Im not talking to you - Im talking to a person threatening to kill themselves - the arguments that are convincing to you two days later have little to do with whats convincing to them.And hey - I spent the weekend thinking the kid was dead.  Turns out he isnt.  So maybe it worked.I care a lot more about what *he* thinks than what *you* think.']",Ideation
user-29,"['Then maybe returningt there might be the first step. You should be w/ the family of your choice, not w/ people who clearly dont want the best for you. You should take care of yourself for a while and while doing that maybe also put some distance between you and that girl - it might help you to put things into perspective. Stay strong!', 'No matter whether you believe in fate or God or anything: that misfiring gun was a SIGN and Im really thankful for it. I hope you can use this extreme experience to your advantage!', 'Scumbag brain... Sees something beautiful and uplifting: yanks the tear ducts wiiide open...', 'Please dont feel guilty. You have a disease and it is so strong that even your partners love cant seem to stop it. Its not your fault and its not an unusual thing to happen. Maybe its really for the best if you outsource the job of taking care of you. That could take the feeling of guilt off your shoulders and also relieve your partner of some of his responsibility. You have two great things working for you at the moment: the fact that amazingly human beings care for each other unconditionally and are even able to forgive the worst-seeming things. Plus, the will to live that you expressed in your last paragraph. Its there, its true. Cling to these things with all the strength you still have, thats all you have to do, the other things are out of reach at the moment, you can care about them once you feel better.   Get well soon!', 'Its unfair that many people can just leave their beds w/o problems. It may seem like a miracle to you, it sure does to me sometimes. But everyones got special challenges in life and even those who jump our of bed wearing a bright smile each day might be confronted w/ difficulties once they enter a car, make a cake or whatever. Even if not, even if their life seems perfect, they are bound to encounter some rocks on the road eventually. So this is your challenge. Its one of the nastier ones, no question about that. But life functions Tired strangely and so I think you should try to hold on, try to take on day after another, try to battle against all the rocks that are in your way. I know its worth it and Im pretty confident youll find out the same if you just hang in there.']",Supportive
user-30,"['Came back home about 2 hours ago...', 'It is true that there are people in this world who can love. It is also true that millions of people dont find any love or comfort all their lives and suffer. I cant do that, i cant live a hurtful life. I think i have given this world a fair chance. Waited 22 years, given a chance for people to be fair with me.  Luckily I dont owe anything to this world or the people here, i can leave in piece. I just want to die somewere where nobody will find my body. Or be able to identify it. I dont think anyone has earned the right to mourn me.  I still love that girl, and will do anything for her. But she has decided to take me off her life. More precisely, she has decided to net be there when im suffering and be there with me only when she needs me.', 'I just want some peace. I cant stop crying, i just want to die...', 'Im just an insignificant toy for people to use and throw away. Nobody gives a damn about me. I hate this pathetic life. ', 'I have spent a significant amount of time in beautiful places. Himalayas, oceans, villages, hills... It just doesnt matter or make any difference.', 'We live in the same house. Thats why i have to move far away to die. Im not emotionally capable.', 'Im really Tired of sharing my story with so many people on the internet. I hope youll be the last person and ill put myself out of this misery.    Im a 22 year old male from India.  When i was a kid, just like any other kid, i was immensely attached to my parents. Specially to my dad. He meant the world to me. When i was Tired Tired young, my parents started having problems in their relationship. I didnt know the reason. But a time came when my mother decided to leave and take me with her. She found a job secretly and took me away. But things went bad, she couldnt get the job she was hoping for. She was broke. She told me she is going to leave me at my dads house and find a job and come and pick me up in 2 months. I didnt understand why dad had another house. When she left me at his door and i went in, it hit me. He was already married with a daughter 4 years older than me. I stayed there for 2 and a half years. In these two and a half years i was harassed by my step sister. I was scared to even use the washroom when i needed and urinated myself. She told everyone that i was a thief. She used to talk about my mom insultingly. It was Pain, but not something i couldnt handle. What broke me was my dads response to all this. Till that day i was his darling, and then suddenly he stopped bothering about me. He believed whatever his daughter had to say. Never believed me. Being ditched by the person i loved the most was extremely Pain. I was around 10 years old when all this happened. Its Tired traumatic. I dont even remember a lot of details.After 2+ years i got out of that hell, i started living with my mom and my dad provided all the financial needs. But he never loved me. He used to show all his frustration from work and outside world with my mom. He didnt treat us like a legitimate family. He didnt give us any dignity. For the outside world he was not my father.  I never had any friends at school, from 5th class to 8th class i was Tired badly bullied. After that i slowly started recovering. I became this model guy to everyone around me. Wise, intelligent, ambitious, all that shit... But i was alone, broken in the inside, just waiting to explode.  And last year i met this girl. Not somebody i would consider good looking, but i fell in love with her. She held my hand and took my heart. Se was the first person i shared my story to. I thought finally my life is about to see some happiness. But it didnt last even for a couple of days. I loved her immensely, she didnt. She was bi-polar. She gets angry at me, destroys me, breaks me and once in a while, Tired rarely she gives me some love. She keeps me far away from her, im the least of her priorities, she has a boyfriend whom shes gonna leave with. Im just there on the side, when she needs me. I cant let go of her, because she has suffered a lot in life, i dont want her to suffer and be there to make sure she is happy. There were times when she kept me away for a couple of months and it was hell, i cant stay away from her. She will come to me only when she wants me. Otherwise im a disturbance to her sleep.  Now probably youll just give me advice to leave her and find the love that i deserve, thats what she also tell me. To find the love I deserve. The thing is Im Tired of this world. Where people cant even love. Im done with this.', 'its ok', 'Im exactly where you are now. 22yo. Male, the person I loved doesnt even care how her words and actions Pain me. I come from a Tired disfunctional family. And I just want to opt out. Feel like a coward for only thinking about it. Going to be in a university in a few months...   The worst part is I dont know how to help you, I feel pathetic. Im Illness. I can pray to the universe to take care of you. Love you from a thousand miles away, but dont know any real way to help you.', 'Im Illness of life. Yesterday i again got into what i call the ""suicide preparation mode""... This generally lasts for almost a month, where i make up my mind well enough to attempt suicide, plan everything meticulously and take the plunge. This time i wont fail. Theres no way i can fail by jumping off a high rise.', 'Im so sorry this is happening to you. Everytime i hear something like this, i wish i could be of help. But im incapable. I dont want to help anyone. I just want to die peacefully... fast.', 'Thats why i have been alive this long. THere were times when i was just about to kill myself and stopped.  She will respect my decision. Once its made.   You know what, my mom doesnt have anyone in this world who loves her, not even me. Im incapable of showing my love to her. Im mentally that damaged. I know for a fact that she is alive just to care for me. She is suffering a Tired Pain life for me. If Im gone shell either leave all this and live life the way she initially wanted, or shell also quit. I would be happy if her beautiful soul is out of its misery.', 'I wanted to die in a way such that my death wont be much of a mess for anyone. I went to a seashore about 700 kms away from where i live. I threw away my phone, licence and any things that will identify me. I wrote a letter to my mom requesting her not to search for my body or bother to perform any last rites. I asked her to stay away from all her insensitive family members and lead a peaceful life. I asked her to not tell anyone that im dead. If she has to, just tell them that i died in an accident or something. Kept a note in my pocket saying that Im an orphan and my body organs can be used wherever they are useful. I found a secluded spot on the beach and ran in (I dont know swimming). I dont know how long i was there. I could feel myself being dragged by one current into the ocean, while a current of water passed by towards the beach from above. It wasnt painless. There was no option for me not to breathe air. My body was forcing it self open and gulping in water. I have a high lung capacity. In between i surfaced twice or thrice above the water. Could open my eyes during the whole episode. The waves were hitting me hard. After a period of time i could feel the land just a Oedema of extremity below me. I was thrown back to the beach. I was in shock, im still in shock. Im unable to process anything. During the episode, i was happy, that i was leaving all this shit behind. After i got washed up ashore i was lying there for sometime, two guys were close to me, i dont know where they came from, they were talking about me but didnt talk to me, some people passed by, i searched for my phone, couldnt find it. I had enough money in my pocket to make it home. I lost my spectacles somewhere, my eyesight is around -5, found it Tired difficult to make my way to the bus stand, Im still Tired much wanting to leave all this shit behind, but im a coward, Im not able to bear that much pain. I think shooting myself in the head is the best way to go. But getting a gun in India is impossible for common people. I dont know what to do. If i had a little bit of courage, i would have went back in. But im a fucking coward.', 'Maybe my post history will give an idea. There are just a couple of posts. ', 'I cant. Its not creepy. I just cant. She knows how much i love her. Im writing her a letter about it.', 'may be looking at my post history would help. There are just a few posts...']",Attempt
user-31,"['Since I just agreed to assist you for bacon I felt obliged to reply to this.Believe me man, as many times as Ive felt shitty (Never seriously thought about Suicide though) Things have always gotten better. I think you need to just chill, you seem like a cool guy, appreciate the smaller things in life a bit more. The chances that you were even born were astronomical.If you want to talk more just reply!  ', 'Woahhhhhhhh, hold up, yes.What is the Disability if you dont mind me asking?There are jobs that you can do from your computer you know.Im not criticising you', 'You sound smart, and you sound like you need a job, which Im sure you could get, if I was going to do anything silly, Id certainly make sure Id had a satisfactory life first. Sounds cliche, but the worlds your oyster. People in a worse situation have came out better.Best of luck. ', 'This is literally the strangest moment in my life. Im a 16 year old boy living in England, I came over the this [/r/](/r/) by chance and now I have the potential to change someones life. In a weird kind of way youve just made my life better. Im going to have to sleep sometime so Im sorry!, but I shall talk tomorrow if you wish.Best of luck in the meantime :) Im sure youre a real good guy.', 'Depends what the reason is. Im only an ear and a brain to you. You can tell me.', 'http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/pcarg/burden/This guy needs some help right now, Im going to have to go.', 'Hey man, you offered bacon. Just kidding, seriously though, anytime. ', 'Thank you for taking the time to thank me and to comment on my comment.IT BEGINS! ', 'Hey, so I just came over to this sub-Reddit to have a look around and to try and educate myself on how other people feel. Your post was the first I saw. I clicked on it and read.Whatever you do dont Pain yourself, It is such a big mistake. Think of how amazing it is that youre here, not to sound to cliche but your left hand is made from particles of a different one from your right!Think of all the beautiful places and things that you can experience. Its a giant word out there. Maybe you should take a few months break and explore. Do whatever youve ever felt like doing. At this moment in time nothing should matter more to you than being happy.I really hope you read this and hope that it makes a difference.Im sure that there are many people to talk to, either on line, by call or in real life. Please dont do anything that will harm yourself. Please reply', 'First of: ""I think it would be better for everyone"" should never be a last resort. If you really felt this way you could always move away.', 'Would you mind telling me what your Pain is? I may not be able to get back to you for 20 or so hours, but please hold on. Hell, try and hep some people in your own situation. You may feel better. Im sure potentially saving a life would be one of the most rewarding things possible. Do it for everyone that cares about you, look at some pics of yourself as a child, think of back then. What would that boy think of your situation?', 'You are that boy. Practice for a marathon, do some sports, Damn, try bungee jumping, you may as well try them right?', 'If you really feel like this, then I suggest you just leave her for a while, and go and do some things you find fun. I mean if youre really that tempted by death then I think you should go have some fun while you can right? Im sure your girl friend would be so upset if you Pain yourself. I honestly wish I was better at this, I just came to this place today and dont know how to say. I feel that I have to try and help some people. Think of the simplest thing that makes you happy and keep thinking about it.Looking at your recent posts you seem like a really nice guy, Im sure that youre at least adding some value to their life. ', 'You just answered your own problem man.You say to her: ""Whats up?""When she says that nothings up you tell her what you just said.""Its better to talk to someone than hold it in.""']",Supportive
user-32,"['Yes that is true, but our parents are the only people who will honestly be there for us and love us no matter what. Maybe tell them youve been struggling and that you need a little help and just come clean? It might even help you more than you think... Sure they will be mad but that will blow over. Never doubt yourself in anything... You sound like a Tired intelligent individual and I bet you could do wonders in school. This is just a learning lesson and youll go back with a vengeance! Goodluck to you! I am here if you ever need to talk. Goodnight :)', 'Maybe you think about it because it does provide relief thinking that all your problems could be solved and go away with just one action... Doesnt mean you truly want to do it. Just seems like a Sharp Pain and easy end to the Pain.', 'My coping mechanism was watching my friend commit suicide and what it did to all of our/her friends and mostly her family.. You dont think much of any of this while youre battling Depression but it affects the people in your life that you thought didnt care more than you would ever imagine. Which is what has gotten me to try and fight this disease before it gets worse. Although most times it feels like Im fighting a losing battle.', 'Is there a specific reason why you couldnt pass the other classes which led to the probation/suspension? If you would like to talk we can do it here or PM.', 'Why do you feel like youre a disappointment to everyone around you? Im sure everyone here has felt this type of way but its not worth your own life.', 'Ahh, I had that exact problem. I am a horrible writer or at least that is what I tell myself. I am not creative nor interested in the subject so it is also one I struggle with. What Ive learned however is that you just have to tell yourself to suck it up and write something. As soon as you turn in that first paper it gets easier and easier throughout time. Who cares if you get a low grade... You will learn from it and improve for the next paper. Is english your only problem? I was on academic probation and then suspension and I just decided to cover it up by saying I needed a break from school to figure out what I truly wanted in life. I have been on a ""break"" for about a year now and it honestly did me good. Maybe this is what you need and will put things into perspective for you. If anything it is an excuse you can use with your parents and say you would just like to work for a little bit until you figure out what it is what you want to do with your life.', 'Someone I knew committed suicide and it led me to feel the same way... Why couldnt i work the courage up to just do it too? I still dont know til this day and Im trying to figure it out. Maybe theres a reason... who knows. Sometimes it just feels like youre not cut out for this life but theres nothing you can do about it. ', 'What is making you think of suicide or feel like life is working at a tough job?', 'I always struggled with english as well until I finally found a professor that changed that. How have your english professors been? Also, what is distracting you? What exactly is it that you struggle with when writing?']",Ideation
user-33,"['Well, you dont have to do it if you dont want to, I mean, its up to you, I dont wanna bother. You could take a picture if youve handwritten it, or something like that. Id love to read it, though.', 'I PMd you, if youd like to talk. Im going through something similar.', 'Yes. Ive struggled a lot with Depression in the past, and I feel a lot better now. I hope you feel better.', 'THIS IS SO ME AS WELL (no, Im serious, Im *picturing-siblings-holding-my-dead-corpse* serious).', 'Happy birthday, man. *internet hug*I hope you can get this sorted out. Id have a movie night with her and maybe drink some alcohol as /u/Felecs suggested. But dont fucking do that shit alone.', 'Why do you think that might be? I guess this is what everybodyd say, but, dont you think theres something *you* could do about it? Would you like to discuss all this over PMs? (its okay if you dont want to reply or anything, I understand answering these kind of questions is not fun, Ive been through all of it)', 'Yes. I get what you mean. I have this problem where I cant help but focus constantly on mistakes Ive made in the past, no matter how small or stupid they are, or even if they havent cause any damage or change whatsoever. At least thats what people tell me, because I feel like everybody remembers everything Ive done wrong and cant help but hate me a little more every time I mess up. Im too afraid to ask people for help because that would make them remember my own mistakes.Its sort of a vicious cycle.', 'I can, but its the first time since freshman year that ive felt like i wont be able meet my deadlines. So that has me feeling pretty bad. I hope somehow Ill manage to get off my ass and do something in these 15h left.What did you paint? A painting, or like, a wall?', 'Well, I just hope he sees this somehow.', 'You guys are awesome. Thank you. Youve made my day.', 'Well, I wouldnt trust my own advice, but I find that feeling better about myself makes me care less about what other people think of me, regardless of who they are. Maybe you should do things youre proud of, I think nobody should be disappointed of you if you do what makes you happy.', 'Have you gone to a therapist? I have a friend who has pretty bad mood swings, but he has learned to control them by having people tell when hes approachable or not (and through exercise and taking some care of himself). I dont know if you get what I mean. I admit hes a difficult person to work with, but in no way deserves to have no one to care about him. A couple of other workmates and I appreciate him quite a lot. Do you work, or study?', 'Have you tried not taking it? When I was on medication, the real cure was to stop taking it. Maybe itd work for you?', 'Even though Im sure I cant even grasp what it is to feel like this right now, I want to let you know I support you. You have every right to feel this way towards your family, and they shouldnt have treated you this way. Youve been completely fair to you parents and your sister, you seem like a reasonable, great guy/girl, and I think you deserved to be treated as such.Im here if you want to talk, so PM me if you feel like it.', 'I really, *really* hope you get to read this.Ive read all your comment responses and I feel I sort of get you, in a way. Im 16, and I had been planning my own suicide for some months until a few weeks ago. I sort of postponed it for a long time, mainly because of being lazy and not really having the guts to just go ahead and do it. When the time came, I was so determined I figured nothing would stop me from ceasing to exist, but since Im still here ^(I ^think) you know I didnt succeed. And Im glad I didnt. After not having any kind of hope or reason to go on living (I had even sorted out the guilt of having my parents suffer), I reconsidered it all and just... didnt do anything.I feel like Im not gonna be able to explain myself any further. Its sort of... its some weird shit. Id really appreciate it if you read my comment. PM me if you want to talk. You say youd love to talk about your life. Would you mind telling me about it? I wont tell you not to kill yourself, if you dont want to. just wannna talk.', 'Id like to read some too. You sound (well, *read*, I guess) a good writer.', 'I would hug you. Ive been in that same place before. Its awful. If you want to talk or something, just PM me.', 'Well, theres something.. youve said you want to write down your reddit username on a postcard. Why is that?', 'Well, this actually makes a lot of sense. Do you think your parents/someone else will be able to find your post? I mean, do they know about reddit, and stuff? Also, seems like youve made a new account today (probably), you didnt want to use your regular account? or you just didnt have an account before?', 'I do the exact same thing. Sometimes when I mess something up, even if its just the smallest mistake you can think of, I insult myself and remember it for months, telling myself how stupid I was every now and then. It makes many people mad, which it shouldnt. Ive tried to avoid it, but I feel even worse if I just shut up and dont say anything. Ive learnt to cope with it, I guess. Sorry I dont have any advice for you. I just think Id tell you youre not alone out there.', 'Ill also be moving out of my hometown, in a couple months to go to university, and even though I feel really sad about leaving my friends and my family, Im looking forward to it. I want to start a new life by myself. Ive moved out of town a couple of times before, and Ive left great friends, but let me tell you it can always be better than it was before. Yes, I admit its sometimes hard to start over and make new friends, Ive been through all of it, but its not impossible. And you can always keep in touch with everyone and everything over the internet. I hope it helps you in some way. ', 'I saw a post not long ago where a girl found a job after looking for 6 years. I understand it must be hard not to have a job but, maybe you could still find a job and figure it all out. Either way, I hope you dont kill yourself, and I want to let you know we are here to support you. What do you do? Whats the kind of job youre looking for?', 'Im glad you liked it. Ive visited it regularly for a while. Im happy to know others may appreciate it as much as I do.', 'Well, honestly, you sound like a perfectly normal human being, I can see no reason why no one would care about you. Maybe you dont hang around the right kind of people? Would tell me a bit about you? What do you like? What do you do?', '/r/r4r', 'Is there anything you think you can do or have tried to do about it? What do you mean when you say you cant have anything you want? that youre always wrong?Were here to support you. I hope, we all hope you feel better.', 'I dont think youre *beyond* help. Nobody would ever do. I know Im someone you just *met* on the internet a few minutes ago, and I accept I dont know how you feel, definitely never will, maybe nobody on earth does or ever will, but the fact that youve cared to post about how youre feeling on this subreddit means youve still got hope you can sort things out. And believe me or not, you can. Ive been held up against my will NOT to commit suicide, and I thank those people now. I was diagnosed with severe Depression disorder (or something like that, I dont even know what the actual full name of the disease was, didnt care about any of it) a few years ago, and had a terrible time going through treatment. Actually, I didnt ever finish treatment. But that experience taught me that the only person who can solve my own problems is myself. I got Tired of sitting around, doing nothing, and I decided Id finish high school. Right now, I just got accepted to university a few days ago and Im moving off to a new city next year to begin a new life by myself. Youve just been unlucky until now. As clich\xc3\xa9 as it may sound, (and I know, believe me, that it does) it CAN and it DOES get better.', 'Ive found talking to people about my problems and sharing them with others (i.e. meeting or talking with people with the same problems I have) makes me feel a lot better, and its easier to make decisions while calm. Would you mind telling me about what made you make this decision? So you can, you know, reconsider?', 'Cant believe I had never been told about this! Thanks, random stranger! Have a great day! Do you think theyd like my ambulance helicopter?', 'Do you know anything about whats causing her trouble? Is it the fact thats you are going through a divorce, or could it be something else? I suggest you should keep a close eye on her, maybe sit with her for a while and show her your support as friends (even if you dont mean it, although I think you do, if youre concerned for her well-being). From experience, Id say maybe the biggest thing that leads people to kill themselves is loneliness or perceived lack of support. Talk to her.', 'i didnt come out of my room except to get deliveries at the door. so much schoolwork piled up for tomorrow yet i didnt lift a finger to do any of it. idk, just stayed in bed, slept 30h overall and listened to really loud musicwhat about you?', 'Please, report to the moderators the person who sent you this message. Those stupid people are only trying to Pain you. Weve had these kinds of problems before. And, from my point of view, you still got plenty of things to look forward to. I was bullied after I moved to where Im living now after people found out I was gay, I live in a seriously homophobic country. Although I dont have too many friends, Im not bullied anymore, and Im looking forward to graduate in a couple months and go to university. Remember that, no matter how terrible it looks, it can always get better. And it will, eventually.Also, we are here to help you and support you. If youd like me to tell you about my experience or what I did to survive through the bullying and most of high school, or just want to talk, PM me, Ill be here.', 'Fellow 16M here. Id give you a hug if you didnt mind me doing so. Cant say Ive gone through anything similar to what youve been through, but I want to say I admire your maturity and braveness facing all this. My mom is one big slouch, big enough to make me not want to get home some times, but nothing compared to this. Is there somebody you can tell that can help you through it? Maybe a relative?Also, dont be afraid of failure. I cant say Im not afraid (Im just a little pussy) Im going to the big city to university next year after living all my life in small towns, and Im scared as fuck. I dont think the military is a bad option at all, you shouldnt think thatll mean you wont succeed in doing what you want to do in life. Many of my friends have chosen the military because they believe its a character-shaping experience. I dont know if I put that well. Read about [Ludwig Wittgenstein](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ludwig_Wittgenstein). Ive always found amazing and brave the fact that he volunteered for WWI because he thought (Im quoting my textbook, I had to take it out just to write this) the experience of confrontation with death perfects and ennobles men.*hugs him***EDIT:** Also, you should find something that makes you feel calm, something that relieves you from Stress, and do it constantly, get better at it. For me is the piano. I cant sit alone and play it with headphones for hours, and no matter whatever it was I should be doing at that moment, I never regret time spent playing. Also, Im not Tired good at it, but Im the one whos listening to it, and thats all I care about. I dont think you need to be good at doing something to enjoy the hell out of it. That, and masturbation. But I cant get *better* at jerking off, so it isnt as exciting and engaging. Thats why I dont think smoking pot is a good idea, at least not something you should do all the time. Get a hobby you can practice by yourself and not be bothered by anyone, and smoke some pot and jerk off every once in a while. Sounds depressing, but if Stress is what youre going through, Ive found theres no better thing to do than to keep yourself entertained and/or occupied. Sorry for long text, I hope its helped in any way.', 'Heres a hug from a fellow gay person going through somewhat similar (actually, pretty similar) circumstances. *internet hug*. Im not gonna rant about my life, but I want you to know youre not alone out there. If you want to talk, Ive got lots of things to say, Ill be right here. PM me if you like.']",Behavior
user-34,"['I am battling Depression with Suicidal and self harm thoughts and I have not told a single soul yet. And I cant bring myself to say it or verbalize it in any way.', 'I hyperventilate myself voluntarily when gets so bad that it feels like the Pain is eating away my Tired soul. I put my body into the fight or flight and it removes a decent amount of the anguish for a time. Its nice to be able to have a break if I need it.', 'Your life situation is almost identical to mine except I deferred from collage twice and we cant get guns where I live. I plan on seeing a physiatrist for the first time in 3 days just to see what kind of care I can get, but I hold little hope because our health care is really bad here. When I went to the place the first time I told them I was afraid I have schizophrenia because I was too afraid to tell the nurse I was feeling Depression and Suicidal.I think you should at least give a therapist or a psychiatrist a chance first before you proceed with your plan.Nobody in the entire world right now knows how Depression and Suicidal I feel right now and only 1 or 2 people know Im seeing a psychiatrist. I also lied about why Im seeing one to the people that know. Between now and then Ive been writing a journal about what I feel right now and make a time stamp in the journal no matter what it is because Ill probably get Feeling nervous and forget everything when I walk into the psychiatrist office. ', 'I Fear I might get rejected, judged or abandoned if I bring up a topic like this.']",Behavior
user-35,"['There are many things that can help.If you got nothing you got nothing to loose.Life is hard. It is a riddle. Some people are happy, some are not. Some are doing what they love some dont.Steve Jobs did what he loved, but he is dead. You on the other side is alive.He gave the advice that you should do what you love. That advice you havent been following.He said that you should live each day as it were your last.10 years ago I was contemplating suicide for some of the same reasons. I decided to move home to my parents. They helped.Then i did lots of things. I read selfhelp books, took mushrooms, stopped drinking, bought a gps, bought a vaporizer, startied using a memorizer app called anki, stared using a text to speach app, started using an app for registreing what i ate (myfitnesspal), started with something called TRE witch helps with dealing with trauma. All that shit made a difference.Why am I saying this?Because the little things help. Fuck society, fuck their expectations. Try to find out what the little things that drive you mad is and try working on it. I takes a lot of time, but change can happen. It seems hopeless sometimes, when you have been Depression for a long time, but suicideplans might be a call to action.Be brave. Talk with you parents, then start working on the little things. Dont be afraid to ask others for advice, and dont be so sure that you know everything about yourself, the world and your potential in this world.']",Ideation
user-36,"['No worries, I was a bit busy myself too. Was sent out of town by work due to some issues at another site. I kinda forgot about it a lot when I was out of town, with the change of scenery and all. It felt good these past few days on the road traveling. After I got back, job had an xmas party. Everyone at the company was there. As I walk through the halls at the party, people walked up to me and thanked me for being Sharp Pain and helping them out with their issues. During a speech with the companys owner, they had me and my team stand up and was thanked with a standing ovation. Yet, I still felt like shit. Absolutely terrible, why?They all had wives, gf, fiancees, etc. I had an empty chair next to me. It felt awful. One of my team members actually walked up to me and said ""Look, youre an awesome guy, well organized, charismatic, good looking, why no girl?"" I really didnt have an answer, I just told him I havent dated since I broke up with the last one two years ago. I just felt awful. I just went to a bar afterwards and drank a bunch of shots. I then got home and really thought about putting an end to it. I instead just fell asleep and didnt wake up until about 5PM the Saturday. Its the same reason why I dont really hang out with a lot of my friends anymore, they have their gf/wives/whatever and Im alone. Why didnt I call her back? I didnt want to feel like the desperate guy just chasing people around. If she really cared, she wouldve responded, right? It seems like she didnt care. Now its too late anyway its been nearly two weeks since that happened. Sure, I have gotten girls, but I was younger and didnt have a kid already. Now Im older, have a kid and I feel like the minute I mention it theyll just say ""oh I dont want to be a mother to your kid."" Well, Im not asking them to be one, I am perfectly capable of raising my own kid I dont need their help. Yet, I dont see me having the chance to even respond in that way. Im glad youre there to talk to at least, it does help a lot. ', 'Well, the only way my job would pay for me to travel is if SHTF at a site where an manager has to be involved, and its only going to be for a Asthenia for the most. I think the deeper issue is that the travel changes the atmosphere, the situation and it allows me to take my mind off everything and just focus on the situation at a site. This lasts until I have to go back and deal with it again. Second problem is my daughters 2 so cant road trip with her, or fly or really go anywhere at this point. Third, custody over my daughter is Tired complicated. Per our agreement I get 5 days/wk and every other weekend, but I have to look like I am home all the time to get that. That was fine when my last job lets me work from home. This job doesnt let me do that, so I fake it and hope she doesnt find out. Meanwhile, this morning I go to pick up my daughter, its 50f Common cold weather and my ex brings out my daughter barefeet with just a shorts and a jacket and of course shes Common cold and bundling up. Yet there isnt much I can do about it because its my word against hers. She gets away with doing stupid shit and I get screwed if I even make one mistake, so I am on edge. It gets Tired stressful and frustrating. Theres times where I just hang on and deal with it for the sake of my daughter, and then theres times Im just so down lonely and unhappy that I start to think about ending it because its easier, less stressful, less depressing and the Pain, the self criticism and the Feeling angry I have just goes away. I feel so Tired right now. So Tired and just burnt out. Times like this is when I really want to just give up. ', 'I tried speed dating, tried those lock and key events, nowadays I just hang out in the meetup groups since there isnt any more of those type of events until January for the earliest in my area. Ive tried OKC, POF, messaging around with no response back. After a year of that I just deleted those online dating profiles as they were useless. Confidence is probably my biggest problem. It doesnt help when you keep trying and its just rejection after rejection for years. It just feels hopeless. Sometimes in the morning I just feel like killing myself and I think about it a lot, especially right when I wake up. ', 'Well, I enjoy my job more than the previous one, but I think its just the ""shiny new object"" feeling thats gone from it. I work as a middle-manager supervising a 30 man team. Wont say more than that. I had to fire a guy a few weeks ago. He worked there for a long time, but he basically did a lot of stupidity over the past few months that lets just say warrants him being let go. My boss said that as rare as it is to have to fire someone, its the toughest part of the job and he feels Pain whenever he has to do it. He said that I handled it really well and professionally. I know deep down I didnt feel a thing about telling him he was terminated and that he wont be compensated by unemployment, which is why I was able to handle it professionally. Ive talked to a therapist a few years ago when things really went to hell. She basically said she couldnt help me. Granted, it was to deal with a shiny new divorce and not about suicide. I feel safer talking on a tor browser than walking into a therapists office and telling him/her basically what I just posted. The last thing I want is my ex finding out and using it as a reason to take custody of my kid, then my decision to go through with it will be made. My problem is that there are times where I really feel like killing myself and I just get really Moody about it, but then I somehow manage to shake it off after awhile and just keep going on with my life. It could be something as simple as me waking up and thinking to myself ""I should die"" and then theres times where I sit in a corner of my room and really think about how shitty my life is for the next few hours. I literally go through my memories with a fine comb and think about every decision I have made which was wrong, and think about every time I fucked up and that I am just a dumb jackass who should really off myself. ', 'I do come in contact with people at work all the time. Some of my team members are there with me, others are communicated over the phone as they live far away. My boss gets emailed constantly from co-workers about how well I do my job. Its always positive feedback from everyone I work with.Yet, it really doesnt invoke any feeling. I still feel like I am a fuckup that cant get anything done right and I feel completely alone. Im in management, a team lead basically, but I feel like the lone wolf all the time. Its hard for me to really engage in small talk with them, I dont even know where to begin with that, so I just stay professional and emotionless in my communication as thats easiest for me.I go out sometimes, bars, clubs, etc. I try to talk to people, engage in conversation with them. Men, women, it doesnt matter, I just want some form of connection. The conversation seems like it goes well, they are willing to give me their number, we text maybe once or twice to each other, then they never respond back. Hell, I had a girl grab my phone, put her number in it then dialed her cell from mine a few days ago. I text her back about two days later telling her we had a good time, she agreed yes, she said she wanted to meet up, I said sure how about Thursday? I never get a response. Somehow I fucked that up once it gets to that phase. I dont know why or how, but its something I did. That disconnect always happens all the time.Then again, how can I expect anyone to like me, when I dont even like myself?Granted, the therapist cant tell my ex anything about me. What I am afraid of is if I start opening up, and then the therapist decides that I am a danger or an unsuitable dad or some nonsense then calls someone like social services or whatever. Then my ex would know about it and pursue it because shes mad I got more custody than she does. The therapist didnt break the law, my ex did exactly what I would expect her to do, and I am the one that suffers for it.']",Ideation
user-37,"['Hmm.  Are you in the States?  Im in Canada, where Im lucky enough to get free health care.  Im really not the expert to ask about American health care for people who arent on insurance.  I have heard about free clinics for people who are on unemployment etc, or emergency rooms or something.  It also may depend on which state youre in, laws and services provided may be different.', 'Get to a doctor, quick, tehtossed - and as you said, maybe this psychology centre isnt the place for you.Im not gonna tell you all the stuff about people who love you, etc.  You need to know that Depression is a mental Illness and there are medicines that can treat it.The problem is, you may not know youre sick.  The world seems hopeless and grey, and suicide seems like the only solution.  Depression is a dangerous disease - and the reason its so dangerous is that its invisible.Use the drive you feel lately and get yourself to a doctor - one that is willing to do what it takes to cure you.  You need the right combination of medication and perhaps some cognitive therapy.Good luck.', 'Yeah, um, your friend doesnt sound like much of one.  Do you still have feelings for her?  If so, hanging out with her would be just painful, so it may be best to just let her go for now.In terms of work, I am unemployed with the ability to find a job and am struggling to find the ambition to seek what I could easily get.  I understand your apathy to finding work.  I keep saying Im going to reach out and find a job tomorrow, the day after.  One of these days Ill get it done, and Ill be off my butt.  Im sure you could use graduation as a time to propel yourself to apply for what you want.When I feel like this, sometimes the best thing to do is to move.  Across the country, to another city, whatever.  Change your life if youre not happy with it.  Moving is so easy these days.  I vote against moving home with those controlling parents!  I also vote against the military.  Youve got lots of options with a degree.Good luck, dude!', 'Hi there thrawai.  I have a couple of family members and at least two exes who have struggled with the black void that is Depression.  There are a couple of things I need to say.First of all, you may not know this - especially if youre feeling this right now - but Depression twists the mind.  Tendrils of self loathing, fear, and Feeling hopeless slowly and stealthily worm their way in around your mind, warping your perspective and making the world grey.  Its not your fault, its a sickness.Just like any sickness, you need to get to a doctor.  Get to an emergency room, a clinic, or whatever.  Start with a prescription, maybe when your neuro-chemicals are stabilised you could try some cognitive therapy.  Stay away from bullshit like acupuncture, homeopathy, and religion.  That shits not proven and youll only get worse waiting for a placebo to kick in.Id tell you that the outside stuff can be fixed, and I do believe it can.  In my opinion, though, you need to take care of your inner Pain before you can make your outer life better.Ive seen this disease ravage people I love and its terrifying.  Your reactions to people (i.e. lashing out or whatever) could be your Depression, your Illness tricking you into paranoia, anger, and fear.Get help quick.  My thoughts are with you, friend.']",Indicator
user-38,"['Homie, I have no answers, yet Ill share. Im 27 yo, living with my parents, I own no car (Im afraid of driving) and Im a university drop out, and my parents think that Im trying to graduate every year (I am not and I will never). I work as a software developer, yet the job is underpaying - 700 euros per month. Im too afraid to search for a new job. So fuck me, I guess? Anyway, I had these thoughts of suicide and these fears to take charge of my life from like the end of a high school. And after these almost 10 years nothing has changed. Same feelings of dread, same thoughts of killing myself. Im standing here in the sidelines watching life pass by. Im afraid to kill myself. Yet, I hope that one day I gonna have this sudden realization of what have I done to my life, how badly I fucked it up and I gonna somehow gather all my determination and roll over the bridge. And my parents, my parents are getting old, homie. I wish I had a strength to kill myself then I was young. Now I look at my parents and go like ""oh, you wanted a strong and grown son that could take care of you once you are old? Well, the best I can give you is a dead one! Have a nice heart attack! See ya!"". Thats not the way to treat my parents. I understand that, yet I have no strength to change myself. I feel trapped. The point is - I have no idea, ok, man? If you gonna wait for something - aint nothing gonna change. You will end up just like me. Again - no answers, I have no idea.', 'The thing is that I dont see myself in the future. No wife, no house, no car, no decent job. Nothing. Every single day I spend hating myself at work or playing with pc at home. I just sit and wait for the time to pass by. Im not going to kill myself today or tomorrow. Probably around middle of next week, but the chances are I will chicken out and cry. Going to sleep now.', 'I dont know man. It is messed up. I dont even go to the exams, but I tell my parents that this time I might pass those exams and will be able to graduate. And parents get super exited and proud of me. It is like Im playing some kind of a Illness joke on my poor family. ']",Ideation
user-39,"['I had a dream about somebody else having an epsiode, not me. And I was trying to talk to that person and calm her down. It was really freaky and I kind of was shocked that I dreamt this, its like reality hit me in my dream. I think you were/are focussed on it and thats why you dreamt it.   ', 'I feel like youre a lot stronger than you think you are. Wanna talk to me?', 'I figured, Eminem totally gave it away, hahaIm weird, i like Deep house but how good is Guns n roses?! Do you play any instruments?', 'Cant you live for yourself? ', 'I love playing piano and guitar, so i know what you mean! Hey you know what works great? Doing what you love. Why dont you start playing and maybe teach others?How nice is it to hear the sounds youre making with your own hands? A show sounds good, how about going to one as soon as you can?', 'I love reading too! What do you like reading? Can you go through a night without, have you tried it?', 'If you dont care about them, then start enjoying your life. There is nothing bad about being bisexual. You are whoever you are. Im not giving up on you. Tell me a bit about yourself. ', 'Please dont do that to your body. You seem like such a nice person, so talented, great taste in music. ', 'Hey, Anxiety sucks. What do you enjoy doing? ', 'I love dancing around naked while i wait till everything dries. What kind of music do you like?', 'Im going to try to save you now. Im in a similair situation, trust me i know how you feel. This girl is so lucky to have somebody that cares so much about her. Can you tell me something about yourself?', 'Hey, that\xc2\xb4s a long time to feel shit. How about not killing yourself and start doing something you love. Play those games, but just stay alive. Your family does love you. You can start a new life everyday. ', 'Denying it for a long time means that you were scared to admit it, which is understandable. I have my moments that im still denying it but when I dont, I see everything more clear and want to do something with my life. I think living healthy helps a lot, you may not see it right now but the longer you keep it up, the better youll feel. The sleeping.. Yeah. You know, just like this disease, the sooner you accept that youre sleeping less hours one day and the other day youre sleeping more.. It doesnt matter. Its not realistic to sleep the same amount of hours every night. The more you accept it, the more peace you will have in yourself. Try to build up a routine for yourself. Have a long shower, drink hot milk, switch your phone/laptop off. Think about how your day went. Look forward to tomorrow. In times when everything is overwhelming, go outside for a walk, breathe, count till 10, enjoy the air and make sure you are taking care of yourself. Tell yourself that it is okay to feel however you are feeling. Try stuff out that you feel comfortable. Maybe go and excersise, cook something, just anything that will help your racing thoughtsHope this helps a bit, not the best at giving advice, haha. ', 'Hi there. I\xc2\xb4m half Russian! I know our country isn\xc2\xb4t always accepting stuff and people. I know exactly what it\xc2\xb4s like to be poor and feel trapped. However, killing yourself will leave your family and friends devastated. They need you and love you.Do whatever you need to do to survive and trust me you will. Your thoughts can change your life. ', 'Break ups are really hard. If they were easy, it wouldnt have been love. You already survived a big part of your life, why not start a new life?', 'Happy birthday!You seem like such a caring person. What are your hobbies?', 'If she knew how broken you were now, she would be devastated. ', 'At least you were honest about it, how many men would lie about something like that? Dont kill yourself, your wife will never be the same again. ', 'No way! I paint to too. Not the best at it, but i enjoy it and it makes me so calm. What would you like to paint?', 'Hey, i think he was online 9 hours ago.', 'I wish I was 18 again! You made a choice back then, you have to accept it know cause it is what it is. Why dont you calm down? Go for a walk, listen to some music, rest your thoughts. ']",Supportive
user-40,"['I was 15 when I was arrested. Wasnt a good student or a good offspring, but I really turned myself around my last two years of high school. I still got suspended two more times, for doing stupid things, but thats just life. As cheesy as it sounds, whatever doesnt kill you just makes you stronger. And I think that because you are still young, you will have plenty of chances to screw up and try to better yourself. I would actually encourage doing more stupid things, because they make for good stories later in life and they allow you do look back at what kind of person you were and give advice to people who happen to be in similar situations. Also, when the time does come around, for you to help someone, you will see that this mistake that you made, getting arrested, is actually what is helping you help your friend. Not gonna lie, youre gonna feel terrible over and over again. Sometimes you will lie in bed running through the arrest over and over again in your head and think about what you could have done or said to get out of it. Where you went wrong in life, but you will eventually accept that it happen and move on.I encourage you to PM me so that we can talk more.']",Supportive
user-41,"['Its in 2 and a half hours.', 'No one knows what to say. I do think I should be in a hospital but I have to work if Im going to live and I wont have money if I dont work. I dont know what to do but I know Im not safe at all right now', 'I dont know how to do this how can I just go and be like ""hey I really want to kill myself but I dont have insurance and i know it doesnt matter"" its so stupid. The whole thing. If I want to do it I should do it, if I dont then I just shouldnt. But Im freakkng out I cant take anymore I dont know what to do or what will happen I just dont understand ']",Behavior
user-42,"['You should walk in, put the phone/computer away and do it. Yes, Im afraid because as I said, whenever I try it just ends up as pointlessness. Im afraid to try anything, Im afraid to go through with anything, for Fear that it wont accomplish anything, and that if it does, the person that sees it, hears it, judges it; Whatever, will laugh or dismiss it for someone elses work thats better as per previous recurrences of such a thing. Or theyll patronize me and act like its really good, but just not good enough.', 'I cant help you, Im sorry, I feel hopeless. Its nice that you can relate though. Im such a screw up. Everything I know, everyone I know, they just do so much better than me. No one ever gets disappointed with them, but me, Im a horrid failure. I feel like Im always looked down upon no matter what I do, theres always something wrong with what Ive done compared to others. I want help, Ive been searching for help. Just dont know what to do. ']",Ideation
user-43,"['seems fun for someone who would be into it but Ive never cared for traveling Id much rather be home in my own bed :)', 'dont know theres a girl someone who has always been close to me even though we have never dated or anything she always told me I was good with words always doubted it never wrote in my free time or anything never pursued it since you enjoy I will copy and paste the other things ive written I reactivated my facebook after starting this just to talk to her and although I wont copy and paste all that I will say this I didnt hold back today with my words what is above this and will be below this is the outcome I feel like its just different chapters to my life. cant explain this so I will just post and hopefully you can explain it to me', 'it doesnt stop me from trying its not fair to put them through painbut its not fair to make me stay and prolong the painjust to get the same outcome in the end.thats why if it were possible to just disappear from existence and take all memories of me with me it would be done.', 'I am still here Im waiting a few more hours. But it is happening tonight.', 'Thank you for sharing I always love reading although I Tired rarely comment. Best of luck man make your dreams come true.', 'yeah it gives color to the world when all I can see is grey', 'I sat here for a few hours staring at the pills I was gonna take but for now Im gonna just go to sleep and talk to a doc tomorrow for the past 10 hours Ive been just reading everyones stories and struggles with Depression and suicide attempts, cant tell anyone what Im going to do for sure but if it comes to me attempting again then so be it, but for now Im gonna try something different and see how it turns out. as of 4/20 Im no longer smoking weed so idk how this is gonna turn out I read each and every comment throughout the day, thanks for everything.', 'I took my medicineI missed a daybut I didntbecause I knew I didnt take it yesterdayI thought about it many timesI should take the meds I thoughtbut i didntcant tell you whycant tell you why notevery thought I have contradicts itselfits always been that waytalk to herno dontyesnoYESNODO IT YOU CANTI CANNO YOU CANTYOURE AMAZINGYOURE WORTHLESSthis is how its always beena battleI went to the hospital a little bit agowent to a Stress relieve class or something dont remember what its calledused guided imagery but instead of going to the mountain the instructor explained I went to my battle fieldI see it clearly always haveeven right nowthe Flatulence/wind blows the grass movesno trees in sightits flatits not empty thoughswords.thats what is thereswords in the groundeverywheredifferent typesI see themmany colorsmany swordsI cant count thembecause they are endlesshow do I explain this thoughhmmthe color is not like the real worldits like the density of the color is differentdoes that make sensemaybe I should just stop trying to explain itI dont even understand it myselfbut I stand there on my battlefieldswords everywherebut I dont even touch themtheres no pointIm the only person there my enemy is there do you understand nowthey are meant for me to useto kill my enemyyou grasp it nownow that you understand then you knowthat when I look up and see my enemyI see myself.we both just stand there we know what it meansare we both just too Tired to fight?what stops us from doing itthe stage is setthe weapons around uswhy dont we use themwhy dont we end this use this battle fieldannihilatecreatewe know what happens if the swords meet eachotherthey breakand re createits sad isnt itthey arnt realbut they arnt fake eitherthey existbut dontin my mind but not realitybut how do I know that  my mind isnt realitybecause Im told it isntbut what if it isits notit isyesnoit continuesthe strugglethe battlethe stagethe enemythe victorthe loserwe just sit therestillwhythroughout the years we still just sit thereit wont be like this foreverwe both know thatI use to wonder who would make the first movebut now I knowwe are the samebut nothing alikewe will both attack at the same timedie at the same timelive at the same timethis has no meaningbut it means everythingthis battle decides everythingand nothingI want to watch it all burnbut at the same time I want to save them allI dont want it to burnbut I dooutside the battlefieldinside the battlefielddo you get itEVERYWHERE IS A BATTLEFIELDthis fight will never endbut it will at some pointahh you see that partwe all grasp itsee beyond itbut stillhmmmaybe Im just bored of waitingmaybe Im ready to attackbut Im notbut I amits hard to determine how to end thisbecause it wont end.', 'would you mind going into details?', 'I know even they will understand. I mustered up every ounce of strength I had today and it was all for nothing just to fail, for the last time.', 'dk just kinda wanted to put my feelings down somewhere not sure if Im leaving a note yet or not probably wont', 'Agreed. Even when we are in a ""good place"" it is simply an ok day but we still wish to die, we wait for the black reaper to come and invite it in without hesitation. 300mg of Efexor-XR currently one thing I do have to say is when my senses go into overdrive it is pretty entertaining being able to hear a nat from rooms away over all the other noise around me. ', 'Yeah my family knows my mom and sister are Tired concerned I am Tired loved but I cant handle this. I cant go back to a psych ward I want to go to my doctor but fuck I cant handle all this Pain I cant understand why everything kills me inside I should be happy I go from loving life to wanting to die in seconds once it starts its so hard to stop and it doesnt last long Ive noticed I was different since 3rd grade I knew something was wrong and it just got worse and worse it went from just sleeping to constant suicide attempts I want a gun so bad it can do it so fast I wont feel this way anymore I need it', 'Honestly I prefer to be alone I just like to smoke and game nothing else I enjoy more', 'sorry this is so jumbled up after each (topic) I stopped for a bit and what came after is just how it continued messy but it seems right I could edit it again and fix it but I think its perfect Confusion within the thoughts like it truly is with me.', 'Why is it in my mind I can take something and come up with 1000 explanations but cant find one of why I am still heresuch Feeling unhappy in this lifesuch painmentalphysicalenduring itfor the same outcomesometimes I just cryIm weakIm strongthe strongestthe weakestI am hereI am notdont bother searchingthis ideationsometimes I wish they would stop comingbut I dont at the same timethe reason why every line following contradicts itselfwhat is the type of writing Ive been doing is it referred to anything in particular? maybe I should try and turn this into my reason for living to use my words to tell my story and maybe affect someone else. still wanting to diebut still fightingstill waiting on my battlefield', 'Only reason Im still here is because I dont have access to a gun if I did or could get one easily I would be gone. So I suppose Im just waiting until I can', 'still writing so Im just going to add it onto this all comments are appreciatedstranded on an islandwithin my mindso this is what its likeconfineda prisoner of my own mindmy thoughts the contradictions continuemy retributionto be forever confined in my heada prisoner of myselfpanic attacks in grocery storesthe instinct fight or flightI wish I was a fighterbut I runI wish I could flysoar in the skygracefully fly until my wings stop workinguntil the suns heat englufs me and takes meoh how I wish I could be a birdfly above everyonebe freebreak these chains that bind meinhaleexhalewhen the breath leaves my bodythe tranquility how I long for itI crave itall other desires have left meto be able to fly awayleave this all behind and soarfor eternityescape the oblivion which I beg for', 'been on prozac paxil but currently on Efexor-XR 150mg Im at a good point not Depression not stuck in the tunnel theres other options this is just the one that I deem best for me considering everything.', 'I guess I should try and ask more questions directly so here goes when did you guys find out you had Depression Anxiety (whatever else we might have) for me I remember being in 3rd grade I realized I was different from everyone else I always held back because of Fear and I prefered to be alone even at an early age didnt have many friends simply because once I left school I just wanted to be alone and its always stuck with me Depression appeared when I was 13-14 attempted suicide over a girl from then on was against suicide over a loved one but soon came to realize no one is exempt from the Pain use to think suicide was a cowards way out because of how society has brainwashed us saying its the easy way out have you attempted suicide before? even in a tunnel of despair suicide is pretty fucking difficult to get yourself to do its a war between our minds and our instincts, but my instincts have been wrong before panic attacks over talking to people???? thats suppose to happen when I see a bear in the woods and am about to get mauled thats when the adrenaline should kick in, not when I see a pretty girl and have to run and avoid her. my instincts are flawed and they are fighting my mind this is a eternal battle thats why people get Tired why they give up why its known as mental Illness because its just an endless fight as long as we live death is not a black reaper with a scythe its a woman smiling glowing bright holding out her hand comfort and peace.', 'both but prefer to smoke by myself Ive always kinda been a loner and just  love it that way', 'yes like I said I reactivated my facebook she wasnt the first person I posted this to, after the Tired first post or chapter whatever you may call it I decided to send it to her since she was the person who said to me a long time ago how good I am with words. been talking to her deeply about everything she was the first person to know about what I struggled from since she suffers from somewhat the same thing and self harms or atleast use to Ive had no direction in life and feel as maybe this is what I was groomed for Ive written a suicide note but it never quite fit but this maybe if I can go to the store and get a journal I can fill it with everything I feel and maybe then whatever has been keeping me here will be left on those pages so I can finally do it and not do what Ive always done and just drop people without giving them a reason friends family I just dissapear and dont give a reason Ive always been alone on this battle field and no one can help because the enemy I face is myself. Going to the store to buy a journal will be back soon.', 'mind giving more details?', 'I can relate to this had a friend kill himself a few years ago was actually pretty good friends with him at one point but Ive always been the person to just kinda disappear and be to myself where Im at now and thinking about killing myself sometimes its like he lived walking distance from me and if I do it its gonna be like Im copying him or something idk its just another part of the eternal battle.', 'I try to ignore it when the thought starts that I know is going to cause Pain lately Ive just started screaming to stop when it starts but it doesnt stop I just want to not exist anymore. everyone is telling me to pretty much walk this off you have to motivate myself, no one has a fucking clue how hard Ive tried gym anything finding any reason to live but I just lose interest and do like Ive done with everything else in my life and give up. Id be dead already if I didnt have to try I cant even pull a trigger and have it end in a split second be done with all this fucked up shit. Im not going to live like this it either stops or I stop it', 'probably addiction now, use to smoke because it would get me out of the tunnel open my mind up make music effect me more. it stopped doing that for a while so when it came back recently its probably the only reason I havent tried again even after attempting quite a few times lately. Im thinking just being able to stay stoned for a while and experiencing that feeling I love so much nonstop for my final days would be nice ending it on a good note', 'Im currently on 150mg Effexor been on a few meds been to therapy its not helping Im still so lost Im surrounded by friends but Im so alone and Pain so bad I cant bare it anymore', 'not going to lie its pretty scary putting the gun together hearing all the sounds it makes I put it up to my mouth to get a feel for it and imagined pulling the trigger bang and its all over, thinking about 2 to 3 hours', 'Beautiful thank you', 'I just keep going for those once in a blue moon days where everything is good, some days had to abuse some pills some days had to smoke until I couldnt remember shit it is what it is hopefully you can find those days brother either way I wish the best for you.']",Attempt
user-44,"['I know what youre saying, but thats not a Tired good reason to live, for me personally, at least. Why does it matter if people remember you or not? Why does it matter if you impact them? Im probably wasting your time because Im never going to get an answer that I think is enough to live for.', 'The thing is, I dont want to live for myself. I really like that last sentence though.', 'I like music, movies, and books. I do a lot of stuff in my spare time, now that I think about it, just not social stuff. P.S. youre good at keeping thoughts away from suicide.', 'When youre friend was talking about love, it seemed like he meant the girl in his life. That is why I was talking about the love for my girlfriend. There are different kinds of love. The one I was talking about was the sexual one. But, for me, all of the kinds of love arent enough.', 'Your family sounds like a bunch of really amazing people. ', 'The reason I believed in that quote was because the first time I read it was when i first started taking medication. I was so happy during that time. I wanted to scream I was so happy. I had no worries. If I were to kill myself, I wouldnt do it because of the Pain and bullshit in my life. I would do it because I wouldnt think there is meaning to life. I dont care if there is beauty on the other side. Why does it matter if there is? God I hate my way of thinking.', 'Is nobody reading what I said. You say that sharing of love is the greatest gift there is. My girlfriend and I are extremely young, but we love each other. It is a fact. It physically hurts being away from her. She has said the same to me. That said, I think there is no point to love. No matter how happy it makes us, it is chemicals in our brain put there for the sole purpose to make us want to have sex and reproduce to further our species. That is the only use of love. And the only reason it exists.', 'Welp. Im a fucking idiot.', 'Could you tell me a bit about yourself? Unless you want to go. You have fulfilled the task of keeping me away from self-euthanasia, so I think youre job is done.', 'Ok, had fun talking to you. Goodnight.', 'I need to stop assuming everyone on the internet is male. Its really cool to think about everyone you interact with has a completely different life. They have mothers and fathers. They have problems in their lives. Im sorry about your moms breast cancer. That must be hard.', 'Not sure quite frankly. Ive had anxiety. And Depression is definitely apparent in my family tree. But I really dont know if I have Depression. Its always on and off. Ill be really sad for a period of time (like a couple days at most) then just normal. Never overly happy, which is why I dont think Im bipolar. ', 'Whats the question?', 'Was it, ""What did you do when you were younger for fun?"" or something like that.', 'Then you would be wrong in that assumption. I will admit I do barely anything in my spare time. I absolutely love spending time with my girlfriend though. She makes me so happy. We have an amazing relationship. She has some pretty rough mental statuses as well.', 'Haha. I wish I Common cold meet you in person, you seem like a pretty cool person. And no I do not think Im going to kill myself. Not in the immediate future at least. ', 'Lets say I find one of these points to life. Lets say I do every single one of the things you mention. It still wouldnt matter. If I saved someones life, by my logic, there life is pointless as well. So, by my logic, it wouldnt matter if they live or die. Im not Suicidal anymore. But my thinking is still like this. Thank you for taking the time to write this out though. ', 'Thats a good quote. And that was my philosophy on life for like a month. My favorite quote from my favorite director is, ""However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light."" - Stanley Kubrick. For some reason I dont like this quote much anymore.']",Ideation
user-45,"['Thanks for this. I was working with my dad today at my grandmas house and I took a break, sat down and thought. I thought alot about suicide. I was thinking I could go into her closet and shoot myself with her gun and it would be over. But I wouldnt ever do anything that dramatic. I was just lost today and I took a nap then woke up and went to work. I got over the bump today.  and I know I can tomorrow.', 'I live in Hawaii And he lives in Arizona, I cant really do much..........', 'How old are you? What are some of your hobbies? Do you like art, music gaming, sports? The best way to feel better is to go out and do new things. Can you drive? If you can then you should try to go to the beach or to the movies, just get some alone time. Also, if you want to talk to me, Im here. Im 15 and willing to talk about anything, I went through this a year ago. Message me.', 'Danny is doing great, after I showed him this he was Tired grateful. Thank you for all your support :D I will keep you guys updated. he doesnt feel like mentioning anything. Im trying to get him to go to the doctor, again thanks for the help!', 'Honestly. Im doing good. I went swimming today ran around did some errands with my mom. I swam 30 laps without stopping. ', 'Yea, Im here messaging two people at the moment. Il talk to you, what you wanna talk about?', 'He doesnt know this, But I told my parents about it and We found his school got his parents number, were calling them tomorrow. ', 'This is a truly amazing story. Im glad you got through this!', 'He says his stomach is kinda uneasy and he feels like he needs to puke, He did take that much tylenol, But he fell asleep and puked it out, I think about 1/4 of the bottle probally disolved and thats whats making him uneasy.', 'Cant give that out without his permission, Very sorry Il ask him if he wants to talk to someone besides me. Thanks for your concern.', 'Im gonna try get him on but I dont know where he is right nowEdit he just logged on skype', 'I would like to talk if you want to, I just got finished with work so Im gonna go to bed early. I also have a family dinner tonight so maybe another day. Il message you', 'Fine :D thanks long time no talk :D', 'In contact with him now, hes doing ok he doesnt want to talk about it still. Gonna let it go for the night I think hes fine.', 'My take. Its that suicide is diving into Nothingness from something. If you have ever seen the money comercial. There is a guy asking a baby if he wants more money or no money. Think like this. If you are Depression and you want to commit suicide. The Slim Tiniest bit of life that you can enjoy is better than nothingness right? Who would want nothing over something? Nobody.', 'He doesnt want help....... I dont know hes being weird Dont know where he is at the moment, Gonna link him', 'dont know where he is right now..... I hope hes ok']",Ideation
user-46,"['There is nothing else to share. Nothing can change now. No matter what I share or what people tell me, my life will be the same. I guess you could say its time I check out a bit early', 'I really do hope you help your students. All the teachers fucking avoided me because I was socially awkward and didnt know hope to act. Just make one promise to me and that is no matter how bad a student is, or how much they dont appreciate your help then just stay with them. I wish I fucking had that rather than abuse I got. Even if I graduate from something. Study something I WILL NEVER HAVE THE LIFE I WANT. before you say that I should have other goals of value other things dont bother. Some of us want to be doctors,engineers,teachers,athletes. Just because I want to be rich doesnt mean Im selfish. We all want to help everyone in the world. but sometimes we cant. We just focus on helping one person, even if that person is ourself. I cant be saved. Helped. Everyone I trusted, doctors, ex girlfriend, mum. Couldnt help me so whats the point. Even though I respect your time to say something and want to help me. Its time for me to check out early. I will be leaving to my destination shortly', 'Ive just arrived at the place Im going to spend my last day. Its peaceful and isolated. Just like my life has always been. I understand what it is like to be autistic, I hope you have found out a way to help yourself. Even though Im socially awkward having friends wouldnt change a thing to my life. ', 'Its time for me to go. Earlier than I expected but I there is no point living through this shit anymore. I dont expect ever to be found or remembered,  even before I go I may turn back and released that Im a fucking idiot. But thats unlikely. Thank you for your help even it was for a day.  ', 'I dreamt of becoming a football player every since I could kick a ball. It was a thing I did every day for at least 10 years, I generally loved it more than anything. But whats the point in doing it if I cant make a living out of it. One day if I chose to live I may end up in a nice apartment, maybe a partner who actually understands me and doesnt call me childish or shout at me when Im acting inappropriately in public. Im in a circle which is I cant be with people if I dont know how to act socially, and I cant learn how to act socially if I cant be with people. Its a circle Ive been in for years. I may end up having a friend and a career but it will just mask what I want in life. The only thing that has helped me was a superman comic. A fictional character. But now the affect of that has gone. If I was good at one fucking thing then I may stay around and have hope that one day I can reach my goal but no. No skills in fucking anything to help me. Its not fair. Everyone can make friends, do well at things, have a nice life but it has always been fucking me. Im sorry for all the other ADHD, Autistic, Aspergers suffers, hope you all do well in life but you have lost a team member. It was too much for me and I must go. Thanks for your help and I appreciated it. Even if it was for a day that someone I believed cared for me. Thank you    ']",Attempt
user-47,"['The present also makes me sad.  I feel like Im working for a future that will never get better.  ', 'Its so hard not to.  All of my college friends are married.  The friends Ive made since then are also dropping like flies.  They, for the most part, have jobs that even if they arent happy with are at least paying the bills.But youre right. I know this.  I know things will get better.  I just want the Pain to subside and the images of me ending it to stop going through my head.', 'Not entirely true.  While I do struggle with Suicidal thoughts, my urge to throw myself off a bridge is purely out of curiosity to see what would happen, even though Im pretty sure it would kill me.', 'Hi.  My name is Evan.  I like board games, cartoons, dancing, telling jokes, conversations, and beer.  I encourage you to talk to me anytime. Boom. Now you have a friend :)', 'Because for years Ive been unable to support myself. Strings of bad decisions leave me having to impose on people, and I end up overstaying my welcome', 'I dont even know.  I am a performer at heart but I have never been able to make a living at it.  When I try to ""sell out"" I always get bored and end up getting fired. Recently I had success as a bartender but I quit for what ended up being stupid reasons, so now I live on the other side of the country from where I was successful and I have to start from scratch again.I started looking for a head doctor, and the prices gave me a panic attack.  Then I started looking for insurance so I could afford a head doctor and the premiums also gave me a panic attack.', 'That is one way to put it. Im also Illness of being a burden on everyone.  ', 'I dont think Im bad. I just feel like other people have something I dont when it comes to being able to make it in this world.  Im almost 30 and am struggling with things that seem to come so easily to everyone of my peers', 'I was posting this as a ""I know how to get through it, you can talk to me"" kind of thing.  Im doing fine, thank you for your concern :P', 'Ah, yes, I misunderstood your intentions.  Absolutely.', 'Listen to the arrogant worms happy happy birthday song. I sing this to my friends on their birthdays.  It is a little morbid, so if you arent a fan of gallows humor, give it a pass.Or, if you like, I could sing it to you personally.']",Ideation
user-48,"['Definitely not easy. I live in the Southeast US. As for unemployment support, as odd as it may seem, I really dont want that. I want to earn my money. I want to know that my money is given to me because I did something, not simply because Im down on my luck. As I said, Ive been homeless, and I cant tell you how much it breaks my heart to see someone thats obviously struggling give me money for a meal. It just feels wrong. Not that I dont appreciate it, but I feel that it isnt right taking money from another soul who needs it. Nowadays I spend my nights in drunken sadness, as my ""friends"" seem to think booze solves all of lifes problems. And honestly, Id rather die than fall back into that path. Its a dark and morbid reality to live in. I guess what Im trying to say is that I want to live life earning my living from those who can afford to pay someone to do honest work, rather than taking it for no work from someone who needs it. And seeing as that doesnt seem to be reality, I dont see much reason left to live in such a world.', 'My ex pulled the same shit on me. I had a gun to my head, said I wanted to die, and all she could say before she left was ""do it."" I didnt stop for myself, Im still crazy depressed. I stopped so that she wouldnt get the satisfaction of my death. They say happiness is the best revenge, and thats sure as hell what Im working for. Hang in there, you can find something that makes you happy. It doesnt have to be a person, or even a living thing. Just something that makes life feel like its worth living. And Im not saying its easy to find, because it sure as hell isnt. But that what makes it so much more satisfying. Knowing youve worked your ass off and finally getting the happiness you feel that you deserve. If you need to talk, pm me and Ill pm you back from my main account so we can talk. Ive posted here before and Ive since then gotten back on my Oedema of extremity and gotten my shit straight. It wont be easy, but you can too.', 'Maybe. I really hope so. Feeling this way is the worst. I really wish I could have a positive outlook like most people seem to.', 'As a follow up to this, where do I direct my ""FUCK YOU""? If Im homeless, nobody will employ me. Ill be left with nothing but debt and a cardboard box. Douglass was able to start his movement because there were people out there that wanted to join his cause. People that wanted to help him and others like him. There were few, but they were there. Now with my situation, you know who wants to help me? You know who wants to help a soon-to-be homeless man with debt out the ass? Not a damn person, thats who.Not to say that your post wasnt uplifting, but he had people behind his cause. I have nothing. Ive struggled with alcoholism with nobody even offering to help. I *pleaded* for people to help me stop, and nobody did. Not friends, not family, not counselors. And at that time, I still had some control over my life, so I was able to say ""fuck you"" to that. Now Ive lost that control and Im still without the things I need. All I need is a job that will let me work my ass off for food on the table, but because of who I appear to be to complete strangers, its assumed that I dont need it. They all want to give the job to the older guy, who has a family backing him up, or the war vet who still has income trickling in if they really need it. Not the young guy looking to support himself. Ive killed my habits that seeked to kill me, and Ive done my best to better myself, and its landed me up shit creek without even a boat, let alone a paddle.', 'You shouldnt do it because youre looking for a life in the wrong place. This may sound odd, but its true. Not everyone is made out for university, despite what society leads you to believe. Find something you love doing and utilize that to make your living. What do you like doing? I may be able to help you out. Feel free to shoot me a PM if you want someone to rant to.', 'Ive been there and Ill throw my two cents in. Your teacher asked because they were concerned. Someone cared that you were there. Reflect on that. Chances are, nobody else even gives a shit if youve put on a few pounds. Shit happens, man. Youre not going to class to be judged, and neither is anyone else. Youre going there to learn, and so is everyone else. Just keep your mind to your studies as best you can. I know it isnt easy being depressed, I can speak personally about this. However, you signed up for the class in order to go there and learn new things and advance yourself. What harm can it do to learn a thing or two?', 'Im not calling *everything* here bullshit. But Im really fucking Tired of hearing ""Oh, itll get better"" or ""Think of the people that love you"" (Aint none of those left). Im looking for a legitimate reason to not just say ""fuck it"".']",Attempt
user-49,"['Have you considered that maybe she likes you too, and dating a guy who shaves his head isnt really that bad?Hell, I know guys who arent going bald but shave their head anyway. If I go bald any time soon, Im planning on working out at the gym and rocking the ripped guy/shaved head look.', 'Have you tried other ways to get your mind off of killing yourself, besides cutting?', 'Thanks.  See my reply.', 'You have a lot of responsibility here, my friend. None of us know her like you do, and youll have to walk a fine line between protecting her and keeping her trust. Talk to her, keep listening to her and get her to open up about it.  Encourage her to talk about it with others too.Think about people you can tell, if it becomes any more serious. A teacher, one of her parents, or one of her siblings perhaps.  Dont hesitate to get help if you have any real concerns that shes about to harm herself. Her safety needs to be the most important thing, even above your friendship. I know this is a tough situation. Use your best judgment.Edit: regarding whether shes exaggerating or making things up: if you truly believe that, trust your instinct. Just keep in mind that maybe she really does need help, and shes trying to get your attention.', 'Youre just being too confrontational. Its in your approach. People are weird when it comes to stuff like that, but theres not much you can do about it other than adapting your approach when voicing your opinions.', 'Are you absolutely convinced that life is not worth living, or do you open to the possibility that you may, somehow, find a reason to live (and enjoy living)?  Are you on here to confirm your beliefs, or do you actually have some hope that maybe you can change your perspective on life?', 'Most of us have been there. I had to leave my girlfriend not long ago because I discovered she was cheating on me, among other things. things get better, though.', 'You say it comes out all wrong when talking to her. Have you tried writing a letter?  And, leave the Suicidal thoughts out of it, unless youre seriously contemplating committing suicide and you need to reach out for help. In that scenario, however, I would recommend a family member or close friend.', 'You know, if you do go to trial, a jury may believe your testimony and acquit. (assuming youre in a US state court, and assuming you havent waived your rights to a jury).Its a tough situation, but even if youre convicted, I really doubt youll get life without parole, given the circumstances. Youll get out eventually, even worst case scenario. I guess Im just trying to be a bit optimistic.And all the rest of that stuff youre dealing with - dont feel so pressured, just try to help yourself through this point in your life. Youll be alright.', 'Ive literally never met anyone who actually thinks being a teenager was the best time of their life. Maybe college, but not high school.', 'It sounds like you have a lot going for you. Friends, good job. It also sounds like youre dealing with some negatives. Relationship with your ex, no pleasure from daily life. In January, were you actually happy, or had you just not reached the point of being Suicidal? Has something changed since then?', 'First, have you been entirely honest and open with the psychiatrist?  I congratulate you for seeking help. I hope youre making the most of it.Second, is there something to occupy your time this weekend? A hobby, or a place you could visit? People often put off doing things they enjoy due to time or money constraints. But given your situation, I suggest making the most of the next couple days and truly trying to enjoy life. Forget the pressures and focus on yourself - theres no better time to do it.', 'That sounds like a great plan. If I didnt have school commitments Id be completely down to do this. ', 'You know, to be honest, the ""spite"" suicide has crossed my mind before in times of Feeling angry or frustration, even though I would never actually kill myself.  It is, in a sense, the ultimate means of inflicting Emotional upset Pain on others. But think about who you would be hurting: those who are capable of suffering upon hearing of your death.  You would be injuring the only people on this earth who do actually give a damn about you - and thats a Common cold thought.  Even if youre really angry, and you truly dont care about hurting those people, you must also realize that the only fleeting satisfaction youll receive is prior to your actual death - after youre dead, you no longer exist and the Pain you leave behind will not satisfy your urge for revenge.  ', 'Going bald is surely not a reason to kill yourself, even at your age. No qualifications? You can get some. Youre young. Id love to talk more, let me know if youre interested.', 'If people think youre hilarious and smart, congratulations: you are.  Life is about appearances, and how people perceive you. Art is really not something that can be measured or defined.  You may not think youre artistic, but dont arrive at that conclusion by comparing yourself to others.Dont hate yourself for being gay.  Its natural, thats the card you were dealt, and unfortunately our society hasnt quite accepted that (yet). The best friend stuff is a bit tricky, Ill admit that.  It sucks, man.  Sorry to hear about how you feel.  How do you think he would react if you explained all of this to him?  It sounds to me like youre in love with him for a variety of reasons, but most critically for friendship. Maybe he can be a better friend if he understands what youre going through. Regarding the ""fake"" personalities you display:  they may not be ""you,"" but maybe they have become extensions of the real you. ', 'If theres a chance of jail time for a criminal offense, he should have been given or offered a public defender... ', 'Youre uncomfortable with your weight? You can change that. Ugly? Thats subjective, irrelevant, and youre surely being harsh on yourself. Gay? Why did you lump that in with ""fat"" or ""ugly"" as if its bad? Its not. I have social anxiety. But I deal with it, and Im in a Tired social career field that requires client interaction and public speaking. Dont let it stop you.', 'Can you elaborate on the problems youre facing? If you dont mind?', 'Can you imagine a life that would make you happier, if you were to stop buying into what society has ""told"" you to do?', 'sounds like youre dealing with a lot.  if youd like to talk, let me know. the medical stuff is out of my reach, but it sounds like youre a strong individual for dealing with it.', 'Leave the university. Leave on good terms, if possible (dont fail out), but if you hate it, dont stay. Live for you, not for your parents. Do what you enjoy (or discover what you enjoy), and become successful doing whatever that may be. And your parents will eventually see that your choice was correct. Dont put so much Pressure on your decisions. You may not believe me, but at 19, you have time to experiment and figure things out. Youre not writing the story of your life - youre still brainstorming ideas ', 'Just because you dont get joy from what you have now, doesnt mean you wont find something in the future.lots of people feel like you do, but dont see suicide as a solution. What makes them different?', 'Sorry to be blunt, but youre wrong - it is entirely normal to enter college without a major or ideas for a career. In fact, most people complete general ed requirements at community college, then transfer to a university before choosing a major/career. Youre exactly like most new college students, so dont worry about that. ', 'I know it doesnt help everyone, but have you seen a therapist or psychologist? ', 'I agree that the world has problems. I also cant stand many of the people I encounter in my daily life (although not to your extent).  But my point is, I sort of understand where youre coming from. And youre absolutely not the only person who feels this way. Is there anything you enjoy in life? Anything you want to try, but havent (for whatever reason)? What has prevented you from ending your life, if you recognize that you hate everything and your life is merely a product of society rather than yourself?', 'Ive felt that way. I still havent overcome the feeling, but I guess Im a decent actor. You might feel like youre weird for feeling like that, but the truth is, many people feel the exact same way. ', '> One bottle of pills and Im goneDoesnt always work out that way.  Dont assume suicide is a pleasant, simple process.>A footnote in the novel of lifeYoure still alive - you dont need to remain a ""footnote"" in the novel of human existence.  Why shouldnt you kill yourself?  You havent discovered your reason to live - but that doesnt mean it doesnt exist.  You havent found it yet, but I suggest that you continue searching. Youre not the only one with debt, and other problems.  You can overcome those problems with time. Theyre not worth dying over.', 'But youre not *necessarily* going to fuck it up down the line.  Maybe you have before, but that doesnt mean youre destined to fuck up every relationship or friendship you ever have.  Maybe you expect to fuck up, and that expectation causes you to over-analyze and overreact.  Its a self-fulfilling prophesy - a prediction that causes itself to become true.  But it doesnt have to be that way. ', 'Sometimes a failed suicide is the surest way to appreciate life. Heres to hoping that happens.', 'One big reservation for me: people often experience Suicidal thoughts and desires due to psychological problems, traumatic experiences, or temporary circumstances. These feelings are often transitory or may be helped with therapy. If suicide is made legal (and easy/painless), more people will take that option rather than pursuing other options, like seeing a doctor. I do, however, support assisted suicide, as an option, for the terminally ill.', 'The only person saying youre pathetic is you.Why do you feel that way?', 'Best of luck to you.', 'Im not sure what youre saying - are you thinking about suicide because unfortunate things are happening in your life (like the heart attack), or are you suggesting that you want to kill yourself but you delay your plan because other people die and ""interrupt"" you (and you dont want to add additional grief in those situations)?Your title and the rest of your post seem to conflict a bit. I guess what Im saying is, why exactly are you Suicidal?', 'Ive looked into the ""overpopulation"" claims.  Theyre mostly overstated; most experts agree that our current population *is* sustainable.  We can even add a few billion more people, with adequate planning.  The true problem is distribution of resources and urban centers.  We have enough agricultural and water resources to sustain a global human population of at least 9 billion.  The problem: uneven access to these resources, and inefficient land use.  Advocating a smaller world population is one solution - but its drastic and alarmist, in my opinion. ', 'A criminal record wont prevent you from getting a job. Some jobs, maybe. But you can find something worthwhile. The good thing about criminal records? They matter less and less over time, and you can overshadow them with accomplishments. Volunteer somewhere, get to know people at school and get fantastic recommendations from people. ', 'Social interaction is weird in high school, you just have to deal with it. You sound more normal than you may realize.', 'How old is she? Whats her family situation? Are you the only person shes opened up to regarding her Suicidal tendencies?I suggest taking her seriously, to err on the side of caution. ', 'Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Congratulations!', 'How long have you felt this way?  Importantly, what motivated you to embark on this successful career (which I presume required a previous commitment to some sort of education)?  How did you end up getting married, if youre so miserable and despondent? ', 'OP, you and I both know that this is not worth jumping in front of a train.  Life is full of misery, but usually each instance is fleeting. As is this one.  ', 'Thats a riveting post. Well written, I respect that.Youre quite vague, though. Youve taken us into your mind but you havent provided a map. What sort of help are you looking for? What is it that youre unsure of?', 'The fact that youre posting this means youre conflicted. Rightfully so. Nobody here will tell you what to do, but I think its worth mentioning that ending your life is not a solution, but rather an act of desperation when you havent yet discovered your other options.', 'Im sure anyone here would love to talk, myself included.', 'I noticed your statement about medication and feeling ""normal.""  Why dont you give it a try - see what it may be like to feel ""normal""?  Whats the harm in giving it a shot?  Worst case scenario: it doesnt help.  At least you tried.Edit: Youre going to a psychologist anyway - why not go the extra distance and try medication?', 'Why is getting into this major so important to you? So important, that you would actually consider ending your life without it?  Also, consider what you just said: you would rather die than spend another year attempting to get into this major?  how can you justify that to yourself?  ', '> Everyone is beneath meSocializing with the wrong crowd?', 'Seek professional help now. Otherwise you will likely ruin your victims life, the lives of your family members, and your own - when youre sent to prison. Death isnt a good option. Youre stronger than that. But youre likely not strong enough to control your sexual tendencies indefinitely. You need to accept that and take preventative measures, in consultation with a professional. ', 'You seem to touch on this, but Id like to say it explicitly: surely living is better than nothingness, nonexistence? Find what you enjoy in life, and pursue it. Maybe you just havent found it yet.', '> My father is angry that I have no plan for my life. So am I.But...you just started college.  Isnt that the start of a plan for your career?', 'Wow. At least you avoided working for a company run by total assholes? Firing you for being a few minutes late (with a traffic excuse) is utter bullshit. Something else will come along.  Dont give up. ', 'As someone in the medical profession, you surely realize that youre rather close to average, and many other men like you are in sexual relationships. ', 'Cant you do something to change your financial situation, long term?Also, there are many ways to enjoy life without money.', 'You still online, OP?  ', 'Im sorry to hear that. I know thats not easy to deal with. I also sympathize with your Diabetes mellitus issues. My sister is a type 1 Diabetes mellitus, and I know how dangerous your experience was. It does make this more difficult. The hospital probably violated their own rules and probably some laws, too, and I hope you never experience that again. ', 'How are you doing today? Would you mind sharing some of your work? Im actually quite interested in poetry, although I dont write it myself.', 'It may sound easy to jump and just let go, but halfway down youll change your mind.  Dont wait until halfway down to change your mind.  Life is worth living. It may be a struggle to find out why yours is worth living, but its a rewarding struggle.', 'I agree, trying new stuff and forming relationships is a great idea. But dont push yourself to do anything this weekend. The last thing you need is Pressure, even if youre trying to do yourself a favor. I suggest breaking your routine, but without any expectations (dont set out simply to meet new people, for instance - although that would be a nice result). Do you like the outdoors? Maybe go hiking or something. Do you like animals?  Volunteering at an animal shelter could be both rewarding and enable you to meet people. In fact, Im a big advocate of volunteering in general, for whatever cause matters to you. You could even do something entirely out of character that youve wanted to do. Go rafting, or skydiving, or make the drive to somewhere youve wanted to visit. You know yourself better than anyone. Make this a weekend to remember.', 'How long have you felt this way?  Did something trigger it? Is it a cycle - do you feel this way at times, but not at other times?  ', 'You should tell us a bit about why you might feel this way?  ', 'Why dont you enforce the court order to see your kids? You should live to see them grow up, at the Tired least.', 'I think you should share that with your psychiatrist, but I also think you should be practical and make sure your terrible experience is not repeated. Do you have people in your life that could check in on you frequently if you are returned to a psychiatric facility? I would also share that concern with your psychiatrist, if you do mention your Suicidal feelings. Fear of mistreatment by a medical facility should never be an issue. Its unacceptable.', 'Have you tried accepting how you feel about social interaction, instead of conforming to the majority expectation? Dont feel pressured to join social organizations if youre not a social person. Its like not joining a football team if you dislike, or are not good at, football. There are better ways to meet friends. Also, Im willing to bet your existence in this world is just as valuable as anyone elses, however you choose to measure it.', 'I noticed returning to therapy isnt an option, financially. What do you enjoy in life? There must be something. I think thats a good starting point, if were going to look for options.Edit: going to sleep, 4:30am here in California. Ill check back.', 'He has free will, and he chose to do it, even if you tried to convince him. It was ultimately his choice. Dont feel so bad.', 'if you would like to try talking to someone on here, Im sure we would all like to hear from you, myself included.', 'What do you do (work, school, ...)?  What is a typical day for you, and what bothers you most about the people with whom you interact on a daily basis? ', 'Id be completely willing to let you take my couch, until youre employed. Of course, I dont even know which country you live in, so that may not be practical.', '> It sucks because my parents deserve to see their son have kidsYour parents deserve to see their son find happiness.  Dont worry about the kids thing.  Youre 17?  You probably wont have kids for many more years anyway... dont even think about it right now, its a ""distant future"" sort of thing.> I would rather just be happy with myself and have close friends, and maybe a dedicated job that would consume most of my time and help people..Sounds good to me.  Go for it.  Do what makes you happy.  If you dont know what makes you happy, try stuff.  And on the ""adulthood"" thing, were all trying to figure it out. Theres no barrier where you cross from childhood to adulthood.  You sort of just become an adult when you turn a certain age.  Im 23, and in many ways I dont feel any different than I did at 17.  Life is truly a learning experience, and its alright if you feel like youre constantly trying to figure stuff out.  ', '> EDIT; Fags as in cigarettes, Im british!yes - ""pack of fags"" carries a **Tired** different meaning in the states. Thanks for the laugh.  Im also 23. Ive also been heartbroken. Sure, its tough.  I wont downplay that.  I think the most important thing you said was your acknowledgment that you suffer depression. Maybe youre Depression for legitimate, real reasons.  But it is also clouding your perception of your own life.  For instance, I am willing to bet your friends and family do not consider you a burden.  Im also willing to bet that your life can turn around and improve.  ""This life means nothing.""  So, why not make it mean something?', '>I just want to fucking be happy. For once. This is a throwaway. I bought a gun Boy. That escalated quickly. Lets slow down for a minute and talk about this.  I doubt you lack empathy, and its alright to be selfish (we all are).  But it actually doesnt sound like youre selfish, if youre attempting to help your girlfriend handle her problems - even if you believe its a lost cause.Can you please explain why you are considering ending your life?  It sounds like youre in a challenging relationship, and maybe youre unsatisfied with your current friend situation.  But let me assure you, those are not good reasons to end everything.  And dont feel alone.  You may never meet any of us in person, but a lot of us on this subreddit genuinely care about the people who post asking for help.', 'What stage are you in litigation for your criminal charge? (have you just been charged, has the trial been scheduled, etc.)', 'Can you elaborate a bit on why you think everything is ""pointless nonsense""?  Is it a personal variation of the typical ""whats the meaning of life"" debate? ', 'Are you studying something that could lead to an enjoyable career? What about your free time - do you play any sports, are you into gaming, music? There are lots of benefits to living. ', 'Haha. I agree, but Im not considering killing myself. Please elaborate.', 'It sounds like youre level-headed and handling the situation really well. Are you having so much trouble because youre beginning to believe what he said may be true? I ask because sometimes a person, like your ex, can choose something that is loosely true and then twist it into something awful and untrue. And when you think about it, you may think, ""hes an asshole, but maybe he has a point."" Thats abusive, and hurtful, and can be difficult to get over. Its important to realize that his opinions and statements were totally meant to get a response from you, in a psychologically abusive way. This may not be what youre dealing with, but it is common, and a smart, rational person like you should be able to realize that he should just be forgotten. ', 'Youre 18 and headed to college. If you truly want, you can leave your current life behind - not by killing yourself, but by entering adulthood and planning a future which you can appreciate and which makes you happy. Your life is about to change, for the better.  Hang in there until fall. ', 'When was the last time you didnt feel Suicidal?', 'It sounds like youre trying to make yourself happy by doing what makes other people happy. Maybe you should change up your routine, re-evaluate your life, and ask yourself what may actually make you happy.', 'PM me of youd like to talk. I just went through a Tired similar breakup. Im still dealing with it myself.', 'Why worry about how other people perceive your features - just be yourself instead? Either through transitioning or not - there are people who will accept and respect you. It sounds like youre seeing yourself through other peoples eyes. ', 'Wrong is subjective. Nobody is ""wrong""', 'Ive decided that the average person is quite stupid, and I would also argue that my morals are superior to those of others. I think I know how you feel. But humanity has its bright spots. ', '> I graduated> my boyfriend. Hes wonderful and I love him so muchYou have a couple of really awesome things going for you.  Dont let your financial troubles overshadow the things that really matter in life. Besides, things will get better. You have a degree, you have job experience (of some kind), and you anticipate getting a graduate degree. I bet in 5 years your life will be completely different - for the better.  You just need to overcome some challenges first. And really, dont compare yourself to others.  Your boyfriends coworker has a new car? who cares. Im in my second year of law school - Im 24 years old, with a college degree - and I drive the same crappy 1996 Accord that my parents bought for me in high school because it still runs and I wont have a ""real"" job (or paycheck) until I get my J.D.  I learned long ago to stop comparing my possessions to the possessions of others because it really doesnt matter. ']",Supportive
user-50,"['U will get through this. Maybe scream instead of cry. I would rather be angry then sad. Your strong,amazing and resilient. This too shall pass', 'Im new to reddit. I never thought about suicide but I have had some pretty shitty thoughts sometimes. To me it looks like u need a fresh start. Go to college and have fun. There are loans you can do with out a co signer. Be happy day by day.find a hobbie, sweat it out with exercise. Focus on the little things that make you happy. Make those things a big part of your life. Girls will come and go. Doesnt matter what you look like. If you think your the bomb.com others will too. Give the universe what u want in return. I know its hard but you will prevail.I like to make a list of what I want in life and go for it little by little. Now go play a video game, smell or fart under a cover, watch a good movie.I hope this helps. You seem pretty fuckin awesome to me!!!']",Supportive
user-51,"['God this seems pathetic.  Im pathetic', 'thanks.. im really lonely right now', 'Well, this is a throwaway, but Im a regular redditor.  I wouldnt mind staying in touch.  After all, you did help me here.  Perhaps theres a way to privately send you my actual reddit name?  PM me I suppose?', 'A psych profile I once took indicated that I should be a farmer or truck driver.  I laughed back then but Im not laughing anymore.  I envy you.  You found a better place.  You dont sound know-it-all.  You sound like someone who finally managed to escape.  Its good to know that can happen.  I feel so much better out there on the road, or in the country.  I cant describe it..  but I feel like I can *stretch*.  One man, traveling light.  Free at last.So why dont I be a truck driver or farmer?  Well, truck drivers get tested. Understandable and unfortunate.  Farmers need a farm and theres only one way left for me to buy one now.Depression is an intrinsic part of me.  Like alcoholism, it will never never go away.  That demon will always be there, and nothing can make him go.  So I deal with it.  There are bad days and good days, and the occasional really bad day like today.  Its a familiar old piece of luggage that I can never get rid of, and have to learn to live with.Perhaps, like you, Ill find my way.  I certainly cant say I never will, but it might not happen.  Perhaps theres just tragedy coming.  I suppose all I can do is try to stay graceful and brave.  But its sooo hard sometimes.Im glad this place exists for those really bad times.  Im glad you exist.', 'I dont even know where to begin.  I dont even know if I want to begin.  Fact is, Im in a frustrating place.  Everyone keeps being bitchy to me around the house.  They have no respect for me and all I did was just prove why.', 'I am amazing.  Just getting bullied at work.  Accused of some nasty stuff.  Its not true.  Im a good guy.  Im just bad with some people I work with.  Im 45.  I shouldnt be in this position.  Ill never be able to retire.  Ive got this one stupid exit and no matter how I plan it, now I dont believe I can do it.  Im getting alienated and marginalized and Im just too old for it.  When I was a kid I hated it but I guess I just have a soft spot for it now.  ', 'It is a toxic place to work.  My old manager got fired because Microsoft sent a C&D about an unlicensed copy of Word on our network.  They accused her of ""ratting them out"" and fired her and said to call the police if she ever comes back.  Another guy got into a fight in the parking lot (he swung on another employee) and both got fired.  They guy that got hit tried to fight for his job but it was the ol ""banned from the premesis, call the cops"" thing after he contested he shouldnt have been fired.Management here is inexperienced and things are done here that would turn an HR director pale.  Its a miracle we havent been sued yet.  Being a manager here is an exercise in making sure the owner either doesnt find out, or gets a dire, twisted version of the story.  Its a family company and they have their own standards that barely get them by.Im actually really good at what I do.  Like really really good.  That makes me a target for the narcicisstic little bastards down front who all hang out after work and gang up on everyone else not in their clique (because every clique depends on a central focus to hate to help everyone bond and reaffirm how special they are).Im not retiring.  Like ever.  That ship sailed back in 2008.  Im absolutely certain my life will end on my terms and by my hands.  Im in lousy shape, but the good lord just wont help me out with that heart attack.Ive been telling myself over and over that this too shall pass.  But now I get the impulses again.  So Im here, trying to get it out of my system.It does help.  You guys do help.  This is what I love most about reddit.  Not everyone is some bullying little shitstain, or backstabbing two-faced gossip, or bungling idiot making terrible impacts on ordinary peoples lives.  Those are just the people around me now.  Reddit is the true reality.  Wonderful, insightful, friendly people who are a lot like me.  People that suffer the exact same way that I do.  People that are willing to hang out in a suicide prevention forum and spend their time talking to a sad, fat old man who failed yet again to even bump himself offThat means something.  It doesnt change anything with me but I know theres a better place, and better people.  I just have to find out where you all are.', 'I think either management doesnt care if they lose me, or that Im being set up to get fired.  They believe that unemployment (along with overtime) is a cardinal sin, and its common practice to dirty up someones record to prevent a successful unemployment claim.Im actually going to talk to the owner tomorrow (hes kept in the dark about all this, of course) and see about a transfer.  If he cant help (and supposedly he really likes me) then Ill have to see about moving on.  I applied to about 4 temp agencies and 3 parallel companies.  Ill be applying for more tomorrow.Im not sure about the reference.  Ive seen them blow off reference calls for people they dont like (which is the same as a bad reference).  Plenty of other co-workers have volunteered for references for me though.  Im popular with customers and employees alike, just not with, as my friend so aptly put it, ""the ones who matter"".I cant and wont discuss suicide with my friend.  He lost one of his identical twin sons about 7 or 8 years ago when his son stole my friends gun and shot himself in the mouth on my friends bed.  Hes just not ready to hear that from me, although Id really like to talk with him about it, as he is my best friend and understands me more than any other living soul.', 'Like I said.  Im 45.  I work with kids half my age.  Theyve let me know that its ""inappropriate"" for me to work there and alienate me as best they can.  They have the tacit approval of management (who really just wants nothing to do with the whole matter) and they gang up together on me.Recently, they made accusations of racism and management just swallowed it.  I got suspended for a Asthenia and now I have some Tired ugly stuff in my file.  I begged them to at least investigate but they jsut accepted it at face value.  Its grade school all over again and the administration still doesnt care as long as they dont have to.  The kids are lying on me just to cut me down so they can advance themselves (I have 20 years more experience than anyone and it shows) and its working.Im too old for this shit.  Im Tired and I want to stop now.']",Ideation
user-52,"['I feel exactly the same way as youve described here. The hate and resentment I feel have become so unbearable. However, I really wish I could live... I really wanted to live Tired long... But unless I find a way to get as far away as possible from humans by the time 4 years have passed, then I will have to kill myself. So please, you who seems to understand this, please talk with me.']",Ideation
user-53,"['You just have to search for someone like you, there will always be someone with similar problems like you. They might be hiding in a corner, waiting for someone to come help them as well. Trust me, I know how you feel, you just have to continue searching, there will always be someone.', 'You never stop dreaming. But there is a point at which you start losing the ability to remember the dreams after they happen.', 'They said all the normal ways you would think to calm down or not get angry. Nothing special, its like everyone things Im stupid and need to learn things I already know.', 'Ive been through a couple tough break ups, but those were online relationships. This is the first person ive found in my town who likes me, and she is trying to break up with me because she thinks she is not good for me because she dislikes cuddling and snuggling. Id much rather be with her for the rest of my life than cuddle or snuggle ever again.', 'Ive had two Psychotherapists. One doctor. And I talk to my parents all the time about it. I dont know why they arent helping. Im only fifteen. So I really dont know whats going on.', 'Ive told them what pisses me off and stuff like that... They even know what does. They just still do.', 'Yeah, It really Pain me. Dreams were where I went to enjoy freedom and happiness. Guess its just another contributing factor to my depression.', 'No, not really. The second therapist. A little, but not enough.', 'Yeah, pretty much, I try to avoid it as much as possible. But life doesnt always allow for it.', 'I dont quite know, they seem just random. Ive tried telling my parents what sets me off. But they never seem to listen.', 'I play video games, I do some writing. I talk to my friends on skype. I might go for a bike ride. But when Im angry or sad. I usually just curl up in my basement and cry.', 'Alright, thank you. Ill try that out. Thank you for all your help :)', 'It began for me when I was twelve or thirteen. From what I know, Its just because youre maturing.', 'Skype would work, My username is Robocloud.', 'She is at work at the moment and Im trying to find ways to calm down until she can talk again. But i am Tired happy I have a girlfriend and I really dont want her to break up with me because she thinks She is not good for me.', 'Ive told my mom before. My dad knows it from experience. Ive had to wrestle him off of me when I get angry before. I feel as if they dont like my because I actually am a bad child. ', 'Longest? Maybe a month at most. I dont really know... sorry Im being kinda useless...', 'Ive had two therapists and a medical professional on it. Ive taken four different medications.', 'I usually start grunting or growling, getting Tired angry really quick. I start yelling right away...']",Indicator
user-54,"['you guys bring tears to my eyes. the fact that a complete stranger goes out of their way to help me. i cant take it. Im so grateful for you people, you are the ones who really make a difference. I wish i could just give everyone whatever it is they needed so that they could be happy. I am hopelessly hopeful but I respect you all a lot. I debated joining the marine corps and for reasons i couldnt join but I guess if i become this doctor i could still be that person I want to be right? Im so bad with words these days, everything was so much easier when I was a kid', 'i like you. i really want to help people but I have so many problems its so hard to keep going sometimes. Im waiting to seek therapy i just got approved for medicaid im in the us. im unemployed and a full time student right now so but the medicaid doesnt start until may 1st so ill have to stick it out until then. Ive always struggled with Depression but I dont like the idea of taking medication. Thank you so much for your kindness I hope I can save many lives one day thats my dream is to protect people.']",Ideation
user-55,"['And another thing if you feel you dont have enough friends you should sign up to some sort of club, so you can meet for people; a tip I got from someone else.', 'I think it would be extremely selfish of you to end your life when there are people out there that actually care about you like your five friends, and I would feel pretty bad and guilty if you did commit suicide because I would feel responsible because I couldnt do anything to help.So you know that there are people that do care Itll get better I promise.']",Supportive
user-56,"['Wow. You should know that military is one of the hardest things in LIFE to accomplish. But congrats on getting a new house, wife, and going through military. Im glad it didnt get worse. It got better. Good luck to you my friend :)', 'My hobbies are fishing, sports... Thats all I can think of... (Sorry for not messaging back right away, havent been on for a while...)', 'BlankLlama. About 276,000 teenagers try to kill themselves every year. 5,000 succeed. The main causes are stress, bullying, failed relationships, abuse, failed studies.I will be one of among 5,000 to kill themselves. I am 13 years old to. And this is my story: http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/30jjiw/suicide_note/ ', 'Thank you SpaceHorror. ', 'Youre gifted to have a girlfriend, loving family, friends... You should not be thinking about killing yourself, you just want to do more. Dreams can become reality. Go and see it. Live life, take it in. But there are those who arent gifted like you. Like me. My story... My article... My view, is a whole lot different... The things you listed I have none of that... My story...: http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/30jjiw/suicide_note/']",Behavior
user-57,"['Never make such an important decision on someone elses behalf- Im not going to tell you that its not right, or to think about it anymore than you already have, but please dont.This might be the most intimate, personal decision you ever make so please, dont let someone elses actions make it for you.Thats all I ask.', 'The only certainty regarding death is that you never really know how it will affect you.No one who understands death could so readily wish it upon another, I think, especially to their face. Their words are just that and nothing more. Had they ever experienced a death, especially one by such senseless means as suicide, I doubt those words would cross their lips.You cant predict how death will affect you. For all your life you may have grown up hating and resenting a deadbeat, alcoholic father only to crumble at his passing. This is hardly uncommon.Please, dont make a choice based on what others want of you, and especially not based on what you think they perceive of you.I wont tell you what to do, or what the right decision is, but if youre going to make a decision I want you to make it for yourself.Thats all.Please feel free to reply in any form if youd like to talk.', 'A lot of my experience with CBT (admittedly limited, I didnt find it as useful as a more Psychodynamic approach) was focused on separating this voice, and using mindfulness practices to separate this second, critical voice from the one I consider to be my **true** voice.Im not sure if this would be helpful, but it is most certainly an option! I think lot of people struggle with a part of themselves that wishes they could be better, because thats a natural human drive.In certain cases, I think that voice is just too loud.Whats important to remember, for me, is that being louder doesnt necessarily make you more correct.Hope this helps.', 'Congratulations, man! Its so great to see a success story topping this subreddit. Youre an inspiration!', 'I have a really weird one.I listen to all kinds of music, indeed there are Tired few songs on this list so far I dont recognize- but so far I find the majority of them to capture only the lows of this disorder, the deepest fathoms rather than the everyday experience.For me, the song that best captures my everyday is [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPenzvkMexc).Now, I realize that electronic music generally gets a bad rap as far as serious discussions go. But if you have a moment to listen, Id like to explain why I feel this way.The endless motion, the ceaseless progress of the drums, serve to carry me through it all. No matter how I try to focus on the lyrics, on the melody, they feel vague and blurry, subsumed beneath the formulaic progression of the beat.The few lyrics scream at me to open up, while the simple melody at first summons hope, daring the listener to continue on, chasing twin promises of beauty and of love.Yet once the final section begins, that hope is dashed- There is realization, sorrow, as the instrumentals build to a Fever pitch. All of a sudden the lyrics become a mantra rather than a goal, that if I could only open up things might truly be better- Why cant I listen to myself, follow my own advice? Its that easy, isnt it?If I could pick myself up, would there be a happy ending? Is there enough fire within my heart to see the end?I dont know....On that note, does anyone else like Huey Lewis and the News? xD', 'Im sorry to hear about the treatment youve received elsewhere, but Im hoping youll find those others were right to send you here. It sounds like theres a lot on your plate right now and none of it is easy to bear, especially when youre alone.All Id like to know is why you think you cant speak to a counselor.If its a financial issue, most states/provinces/countries have workarounds, programs or special services for those in need.If its a perceived confidentiality issue, educate yourself! There are Tired clear rules about what a counselor has to report and to whom it is reported, so at least you can find out before trying out.If its not either of those, let me know! Ive had a lot of experience with counseling and therapy that has been Tired positive for me, and I think it could help you too.Just my two cents. Please feel free to respond here or via PM, or not at all if that makes you uncomfortable! Whatever helps **you**.', 'Do you have anyone in your group or circle that knows about your depression, or maybe has experienced something similar? Even if it was with a relative, or a long time ago, sometimes help can spring from the most unlikely places.Friends, parents, teachers, maybe even a guidance counselor or a coach you really liked somewhere along the line.If youre losing your friends, theres no time like the present to try and make some new ones, or even reach out to some you may not have spoken to in a while.Do you think that would help?', 'When the Pain becomes such that the latter can no longer be called a ""life"" at all.']",Ideation
user-58,"['Im a teen living with parents that control every aspect of my life, whats the point of me even living it', 'I just feel like killing myself is the only way I can have control over my own life,it would be my decision ']",Ideation
user-59,"['My views on Depression are not as based to biology as yours are but I too agree that life can only trigger underlying issues. But I also believe that you need some kind of trigger for every psychological problem.', 'If you are in US do you have insurance? Is there possibility to go to doctor without your family knowing? Have you tried to get new (and better) therapist? Its hard to see out when you are depressed. Or even in. Be kind to yourself. Its hard when Depression often makes us feel like we are worthless but you are doing best you can with a bad situation.', 'My time zone is about +7 hours so if you want to PM me in odd hours I might be awake.', 'What do you want to talk about? I want to hear what you want to say.', 'Even though your Anxiety is inside and not visible doesnt mean that its not Illness. No one expects people to function as normal when they are physically ill and no one should when the Illness is invisible. Be kind to yourself. You are doing more than I could for most of my life. I sometimes sound like a broken rocord here when I ask have you gotten professional help. I dont ask it because its normal thing to ask but because for me it helped. So Im asking that from you too. ', 'What happened for me was that I went for hobby and found people with whom I fit. It was more or less accident. And no, you dont sound like special snowflake, just someone who doesnt want to be alone anymore. ', 'I have been Suicidal since I was 9, had PTSD since I was 3, had eating disorder since early childhood and Anxiety disorder since around age 8 and at some point I developed personality disorder. Im 28. I got some counseling when I was 9, when I was 15-17 and again when I was 19. I tried Zoloft when I was 17 but got to stop because adverse effects. I needed to go Illness leave when I was 19. I didnt kill myself because of my siblings but didnt want to live. I was hospitalized more than half of year between ages 19-25. I tried medicines for my physical and mental illnesses until we finally managed to get all components under control last fall. I was 27 then. I fought financial aid for my first real theraphy when I was 24. And it all finally worked for my Depression this summer. Im still going to theraphy to fix these other disorders I got but I have never felt like this. So sometimes there is hope.', 'I know that feeling. Not with gender but with getting better mentally. But like I said, try to be kind to yourself. When your Illness is telling you bad things about yourself, tell it that you are doing all you can. Jelousy is normal but try to remember that you dont know if they are better off. We always see everyones positive things easier, and no one knows what people are actually going trough. I know that all of these things are hard. Really hard, but they might help.', 'Try to get help trough NHS. Go to see your GP and she can refer you to specialist. ', 'Try to find some way to psychiatric help if you dont already have it. More often than not this desease is stronger than any one person and to get better person needs almost always someone who can see things from outside as often in mental diseases you cant see objectively.', 'Acetaminophen is severely liver toxic. Quite low doses will affect your liver. I dont think with what you took you will have to be Worried though Also try getting help before you give up. Sometimes it helps and when it does its worth it. Also there might be some underlying issues under that depression. But the most important thing is that you are entitled to feel any way you do. But Im sad that you feel like this. No one should Pain so badly that they want to give up.', 'For me it took 19 years of help to get to point where I dont feel so bad. So sometimes there is hope. Below you say that you love cats. Its good you can find things you enjoy. Also musical theatre sounds like good way to get your feelings out. When things get too much just concentrate on them. ', 'Im not a person to try to keep people alive if they dont want to. Its your life and yours to do anything with. But I still wanted to tell you that there is hope sometimes. I was just like you (I could have wrote what you did then) when I was 20, Im now 28 and Depression free for first time.', 'No one knows, they can help but no one can fix you. But by asking help to that task you can get better. Its not easy but can be worth it.', 'I got a good doctor when I was in hospital for the first time and he talked me to try again. I tried 10 different kind of doses and medicines and last fall it finally clicked. I need 5 different kind of meds at the same time to be able to work on myself in therapy, or function. But biggest thing for me was that5 years ago I got possibility to start therapy and I found a person with whom I can work. In therapy its really important to find right therapist. It seems to be more about personal chemistry than which dicipline the therapist uses. And then I went, talked about the hardest things and let her in. More I told about my thoughts more easier it came for her to understand where my biggest problems lay. Little by little I got better. For 4 years I hardly saw change in me. I was frustrated and jealous. I felt that I was failing in my attempts to get better. But this year things started to click, I saw myself more clearly and that made my work easier. I still go once a Asthenia for 2 hours. I have bunch of disorders apart from my Depression but I can manage them easier. But no Depression.', 'Many of your thoughts are similar to mine few years ago. And I feel so sad that you too are going trough this. No one should feel this way. World however seems to put so much on some people. And I think its unfair. Still I have no real ideas what to do to help you. Im here listening though. If that helps any.', 'I dont mind. Im 28, but that was my life for over 19 years.', 'I spent 2 months in another country and it got me to last few steps to point where Im okay Depression vise. Also I wanted to say that you might not be as alone as you feel. Your feelings are not wrong in any way but this beast of a Depression sometimes makes us feel like we are more alone and worthless than we objectively are. It doesnt make it feel better but I think its still good to know.', 'I thought to add that Im still sad that I had to go trough my life, sometimes bit angry to fate, and often feel bad that I have nothing to show of my life. But Im no longer bitter and no longer think that I was/am bad and deserved this. Few months ago I still did.', 'No, you are human, with human feelings. ', 'I dont mind at all, its just funny for me as Im Tired feminine female. ', 'Im there right now actually, for the first time in my memory, or life really. I have all the problems with my mental health that were feeding my Depression but I can fix them now that I have energy and Im not so raw that even smallest poke can but me into tailspin. And just to point out, Im no dude. I dont mind being called as one but for me its bit funny.', 'Your problems arent smaller or bigger than anyones. They are your worst experiences and you are entitled to feel any way you do. However many people need help with feelings that arise from those experiences. Also professional therapist might help you to figure out what you want to do with your feelings towards your sex.I wouldnt think about those scars. Im 28 and mine are 12 years old and propably will be visible always. I feel self concious about them but I dont think they affect how people treat me. ', 'This is what I felt. Imagine small dark hole thats getting smaller and smaller. Walls are getting tighter and tighter. From smallest thing floor can suddenly vanish and your drop. You never know how big the drop is. Most of the time you feel like you cant breathe. And when you try to do something the walls wont let you. Moving feels like you are pushing heavy but not solid walls. You cant even see yourself anymore, you dont remember what you really look like. And you just want this Pain and failure to manage to get out to end. ', 'But it took time. I have had severe Depression for 20 to 25 years and Im 28. And I needed so much help to get this point. Hospitals, doctors, meds and finally therapy and friends. ', 'That sounds like a good plan. Sometimes ice cream and old TV series works wonders.And if you need someone to listen Im here. My replies might come with some delay as Im in different time zone (GMT+2) which is +7 hours to East Coast.', 'Im so sorry you are going trough this. Firstly, even though you might know this, its not your fault. And you did everything you could do at the time. Secondly, do you have anyone that might help you IRL? Sometimes even people you think wont help might be able to do something.', 'Im sorry to hear that. American health care sucks sometimes. Is there any support groups in area? There is propably people who know what you are going trough and help deciding what and how you could take steps froward. And Im glad to listen, I have been in situations where I cant figure how to get to better on my own.', 'Im glad you are here too. And Im glad I am too. I will stay strong because I know now that the fight has been worth it. I hope you will too.', 'Its not easy for me. I got my first real friends when I was 20 and I still dont know what Im doing. If I were you (which I obviously arent) I would try to find some hobby group for something you are passionate. Maybe having mutual interest might help in process.']",Behavior
user-60,"['Hey, Im sorry to hear you feel like that.Im not going to tell you that you shouldnt because people love you, or that theres a reason to anything at all.You dont choose to be born, sure. But you, along with anyone else on this earth, have the ability to do anything they want. It may not be easy, it may not be fun, but I could pack up my car, take out my cash and leave tomorrow. Nobody can tell me otherwise, and thats the beauty of it. Save prison, theres basically nowhere (physical or otherwise) you cant escape from.Im not saying go on a road trip, but you will find a journey that you feel is worth making. ', 'It sounds like you are dealing with a crippling disorder. Seeking help is the right thing to do, it is unfortunate that your medical contacts have so far been unable to help you.I will suggest that you speak to your therapist about your Suicidal thoughts and feelings of being followed, and request a different one if you feel they have given up on you. You have not given up completely, otherwise you would not have posted here.', 'Sorry to hear that. I hope you can find something in the materials I mentioned that might entertain you.Want a movie suggestion?', 'Sorry to hear about that. A broken relationship can really be one of the worst experiences. It sounds like you really love her.Its important to remember that you deserve that same love from yourself. As strongly as you feel, she doesnt determine your self worth. Only you can.A relationship can destroy you, but you dont have to let it. Every one of them ends eventually, and you come out stronger and more experienced for it. That will benefit you when you eventually heal the wounds and find another person who you love dearly.', 'Sorry to hear about that. I still think that going outside (away from other people) could be really helpful.', 'Well, for one, youve got a computer. Theres hundreds of thousands of articles to read, [free books](http://www.gutenberg.us/), [music](http://www.royaltyfreemusic.com/public-domain/), [movies](http://www.publicdomainflicks.com/).And thats all *without* illegal downloading. Youre also free to do that if you wish, but I cant encourage it.On top of that, Im assuming you have the freedom to leave your room if you wish. In that case, you can go for a walk, watch people in a public area, go to a library, find a good place to watch the sunset from, etc.I know its hard, believe me. You ask why any of that would be the least bit fulfilling. I only ask that you try it.', 'Im saying that it can help to make active decisions. When Depression I feel like Im doing things because I have to, not because I chose to. If you make active decisions, it can help you realize that there are things youd rather be doing.', 'Before you get concerned with apologizing, you should work on forgiving yourself. Loving who you are should come before pleasing other people.', 'Thats alright. Youve still got the most massive collection of human history, knowledge, and news sitting right in front of you. Its actually daunting to try and find something to do on it.Theres all the stuff I mentioned before, but theres also forums for any hobby or interest you can think of, collections of art, interactive things, etc.Outside of that, you probably have pen and paper. Writing/drawing can be incredibly helpful.', 'I disagree. You are choosing to talk to me.', 'It sounds like you have an incredibly negative work environment. Its incredibly difficult to chose between a well-paying shit job and the possibility of no money.Your life is not worth your job. I highly suggest looking for other means of income, or getting training for a job where you will not be forced to have negative interactions with people all day long.Speaking to a therapist or a trusted person (parent?) helps immensely.', 'If youd like to, Id be happy to read them.', 'Angry is appropriate. Shit doesnt make sense, I understand that.Its not apathy, though. Anger means you want something, not nothing.I encourage you to make decisions. Often, I feel like I cant do anything, like I dont have a choice. But you do. Make the decision to walk somewhere and back, to read a book, to watch a movie. It helps, I promise.', 'Its good that you want to mend whatever issues you have with your brother. You have hope for your situation. Now youre reaching out, which is also good.Would you feel comfortable going into detail about your problems?', 'Thats true, but you also cant guarantee it would be worse. Your life is not predetermined to be shit; just because you drew a shit hand six times in a row doesnt make it more likely the next round.', '>I have never really been good at sports or had a girlfriend, and Im usually the subject of a jokeFirst off, you gotta let that shit go. It sucks, I know, but girlfriends, sports, friends, whatever; they dont determine who you are or what you do. Thats completely up to you. Youre a really cool person in your own way, Im sure.As for the feeling of meaninglessness, thats a sign of clinical depression. Speaking to a therapist or counselor will make sure that you get the help you want.', 'Glad to hear that youre looking for a solution. Thats a first step.As for involvement with the law, I cant help much. All I can say is that using your time incarcerated as productively as possible is all you can do. Also, listen to your lawyer and dont talk.After that, packing up and moving somewhere can be great for the troubled mind. Just make sure you have a plan when you get there. Often you can crash on couches found on craigslist for a few days while you figure out a job. After that, its up to you.', 'Your parents, unfortunately, have serious issues of their own. That doesnt make you a bad child, or a bad person, nor does it mean that suicide is an easy way out. Suicide is immense pain, then nothing.Life can go on. You can talk to someone; a school counselor, an adult you trust, like a nice teacher. Your parents suggesting you kill yourself is definitely grounds for some form of counseling.As someone who knows many wonderful people who are the product of awful parents, dont lose hope.', 'DOTA is an interest, is it not?Out of curiosity, why cant you leave?', 'There is nothing that cannot be forgiven. You have to forgive yourself, first and foremost, because she might not. Thats ultimately her problem, and not a reason to end your life.If you give it some time, she may come around. I suggest trying to talk and apologize in person. Its Tired difficult to reject someone right to their face as opposed to over text.', 'Hey man, sorry to hear about your situation. Getting caught up with the law, especially for something so small, fucking sucks. However, it doesnt mean youre a bad person, or even that you do bad things. When it comes to possession, its usually just a wrong time/wrong place kinda thing.It sounds like you really need to talk to someone about this. I know thats hard, but you could try talking to a pastor or counselor in your area. If they can help, great, if they cant then theres no harm done. You probably wont ever have to see them again if you dont want to.', 'Your chance of finding something you enjoy is honestly just as good as anyone elses. Its also advisable to seek psychiatric help, as your brain chemistry might make you inclined to believe that things will never get better.Also, youre talking to me. I hate to be that asshole, but it means you still give a shit. Its good, and I dont mind talking. Just take that into consideration.', 'Depression doesnt distinguish by tax bracket. Have you sought help in the form of counseling? ']",Ideation
user-61,"['Hey man,     You cant be convinced and I cannot change your mind.  Okay.        I am going to tell you not to do this for a completely different reason than you would think.  I mean, consider it.  If you die it is nothing to me, right?  You are just words on a screen (not really - but I hope you understand how I mean this).  Really I have no vested interest in your survival.         However, I am interested in saving you from Pain.  I dont like Pain.  Never been much of a fan.  Theres too much Pain in the world already to inflict it on ourselves physically.        Effexor is NOT the drug you want to OD on.  Trust me.  I am no doctor or scientist but I have read the literature on how it works and have had some firsthand experience.        The first thing you need to understand when making this decision is that you *may* end up in a hospital.  You *may* end up in a great deal of Pain while you lie helpless in a hospital bed waiting to die, but you *may* not even know what is happening other than an experience of complete terror and regret.              The second thing, is even if somebody catches you in time and you survive you may have lasting damage.  Meaning you will *still* feel this way but even worse because of the damage youve inflicted on your body.  That is not even considering the embarrassment and other Emotional upset shit you will have to face from the reactions of those close to you / treating you.  It wouldnt be intentional, but people are people and someone nearly dying is pretty scary.  If you havent thought this far ahead about it or considered what would happen if you failed you are not ready to make a decision like this.           That is it.  Oh, also it will likely be an extremely uncomfortable thing even if you ""succeed.""        Just give it a bit more thought dude, this isnt the way you want to go out or the decision you want to look back on and hate yourself even more for.    ', 'Hey guys.  I just want to thank you all for the support.  I will probably message a couple of you who offered.  If I dont message you then know that I am grateful for the thought and the reply.    Thank you.  ', 'I agree.  Were this service available I would take advantage of it immediately.  I am a mostly logical person with a sound state of mind.     It is incredibly frustrating that I am going to have to kill myself in a potentially Pain way if I do not want to do something illegal in the meantime to obtain the proper substances (fuck getting caught and ending up in jail though, stuff of nightmares).  Ive been dealing with it for long enough and it has not changed, why dont I have the option to check out easily?        I would be willing to take tests or do whatever in order to prove my ""sanity"" / rational state of mind.  ', 'Hey brother.  Youre not a sad little bitch.  Youre an alcoholic.  Which means these mood swings are normal.  It comes with the territory.      A former-engineering student that plays guitar.  Hmm.  I bet you would be pretty cool to hang out with / interesting to talk to.  Just thinking out loud.      I understand what youre going through, and while I obviously dont know your circumstances I get the feelings though.        I am not exactly qualified to give advice and no songs are popping into my mind at the moment.  But I want to let you know that you are (most likely) a worthwhile person.  Just extrapolating from what youve said and how you write.  Its in my best interest to keep people like you around on this rock, eh?      Sorry to hear about the family friend, and good luck dude.  Focus on the guitar.  Getting into the *flow* is just as good as any drug.  ', 'I doubt it.  Explain?  Or dont.      Heres something though, food for thought.  Nearly everybody you come into contact with is going to be more forgiving and kinder to you than you are to yourself.  If youre at this point doing this to you, man youre about the shittiest person in the world to you.     Also, you wouldnt be doing the world any favours.  The world doesnt care.  Youd only be doing yourself a favour.  This is not meant in either a positive or negative way, I just want to point it out.     ', 'Fuck outta here.  ', 'Yet surviving is a way to prove them wrong and laugh in their face.  Because you are doing well while they are still miserable people.  It can work both ways I think.  Most who have harmed you wont think that they have and would not think about your death for much longer than it took for them to hear about it (if they ever did).  ', 'Hey man,      My sister is married to a vet that does the exact same thing.  Yeah, it surely freaked her out at first.  But from what I understand he warned her it might happen.  They have been living happily together for 4 years now.      I mean, I dont really have any advice other than just be upfront about it with potential partners.  But it certainly is possible to have ""quirks"" like this and still be loved and respected as a ""normal"" person.  My brother-in-law is living proof.      Good luck with this one, but if she doesnt work out...  there are plenty more that might.  Youre not broken my friend.    ', 'Yes, that is pretty close.  It is spot-on that the ""Suicidal"" aspect is just a side effect, and not overly concerning.  As in, I am not overly concerned whether I live or die and death often seems the much superior option.  I am not saying that I couldnt or wouldnt commit suicide.  Because I would.  At the drop of a hat if it were guaranteed and easy.  Thus far it has not been worth the risk.  However, were life to change suddenly and become much more difficult...  The risk may be worth it.  I am in a relatively stable environment and secure in food/shelter.  Yet I feel like this now.  Were those circumstances to change, I just dont know man.  Really, I am mainly alive through apathy.  I could live, I could die, but there is risk in trying death and my basic needs are currently met.       So yes, I am certainly Suicidal but it is only a symptom of a larger thing.  ']",Attempt
user-62,"['Well, at least you dont seem Suicidal except for that ""catastrophic"" dead end at the end of your post about gassing yourself. Id say do something daring. It seems like youre the kind of guy who has nothing to loose at this point but are unwilling to (due to laziness?) I think you might want to take a break from your GF due to financial reasons since both of you are at your limits. Dont let the world get to you though. There are plenty of places to work at as the poster above said, as a truck driver. I wish I could offer you more advice; but, try and look at your present situation in some positive light as hard as that sounds (since youre posting here). I mean you *literally* have nothing to loose (other than your own life if you decide its pointless, which it is not). Hope the best to you brotha, and keep on fighting. ', 'Hey there,I dont think you are in immediate danger and are simply Worried about having passive death wishes. I would not call it suicide ideation, at least not from what Ive gathered from your post. You do seem to indicate that you have battled with moderate Depression since a while ago. You give the impression that you are still ambitious and have goals in life to accomplish. Dont take my word for it; but, I think youve had a hard year and sorta hate your job. There are plenty of other jobs out there and you can always go back to college in the future. It will take time; but, given the amount of strength and resilience you have shown, I think you can pull it off. I wish I could be of more assistance. Have you considered talking with a professional? All medications arent evil and if youve been having these feeling of Feeling hopeless for a while, a professional could help. EDIT: After re-reading your post I think you are a little too hard on yourself. You dont sounds like a whiny brat at all. I dont know who told you that; but, thats not the impression I get from you.Best regards.', 'Are you in immediate danger, whats bothering you? It might be that theyre really swamped with phone calls. Some people need the help while others dont need it that much. Youre not alone. Do you have friends or family you can call? ', 'Whats bothering you? You didnt indicate it in this thread. Have you been planning or thinking about suicide? Just take things one step at a time. Dont over-stress yourself with trifle matters. It still Sunday and you can always call your friends or family for any advice and help you may need.', 'I wish you posted more on what lead you all the way to the tracks to kill yourself. Im also not that happy with life; but, never actively sought out a way out. Please let me know, whats bothering you? How did things get the way they are? Hope to lend an ear on this lonely Valentines day.Best regards.', 'The good point is youre still here and made it this far. I dont want this to be a ""feel good"" post since Im not good at those and this is my first time trying to give advice. In the end its your choice if you want to live or not and given that youve tried in the past and havent succeeded means that there is still some part of you that wants to pull through. You mentioned that you have best friends. Thats great, better than myself. Im also Depression and sometimes think life is some hellish thing to just get by with. Personally, Ive found the book, ""Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy"" to be the best thing Ive found with helping me deal with pessimistic thoughts and feelings of Feeling hopeless. It really made a positive impact on my life so far and I try and read it even when Im apathetic and unmotivated. Some people are just lucky, while we have to struggle. Such is life. Hope to hear from you soon.']",Ideation
user-63,"['You do that. And hey, even if you dont... like I said before, this kind of things dont ask for your permission anyway, so... it will happen anyway.', 'You are young. Things do get better, you have your whole life ahead of you. You have  plenty of time to find a partner. As for making friends, theres no technique. Just be yourself, open up: a lot of people will appreciate that: online or offline. Having said that, feel free to PM anytime.', 'Well, it happened once, it can happen again. Dont close yourself to new opportunities. Sometimes 30 minutes is all it takes...', 'You cant show them, theres nothing to show. You can tell them and explain why you see the need to do it, to move out. Explain them this shouldnt affect your friendship. As friends, they should understand your needs, and put them ahead of that need to live all together and party everynight. If they cant see it, its their loss.', 'I know it can be frustrating, and it may take a long time. But, believe me, you need to keep trying, even with no experience youll find something. At least something temporary until you find something better for you.Like I said, you should talk to her. She may be scared of talking about it, she may not know how to approach you about it. You should do it instead, and see what she has to say. ', 'It does sound like a terribly Pain situation to be in. I really cant tell you if that would be the right thing to do or not. It is risky to tell her how you feel right now; yes, it would let her know you are there for her, in case things change; but it could harm your friendship with her and her boyfriend. You know her, you should analize every little possibility before doing it: is she going to feel awkward and maybe stay away?, is she going to tell her boyfriend?, if she does, will he get mad or just stay away from you?. Its up to you to decide, if you are willing to take that risk because not saying anything hurts more, then go for it. Whatever choice you make, make sure its in your best interest... whatever will be better for you in the long run, what will be easier for you to cope with.', 'I bet its terribly hard to even think about it. And its also hard to put ourselves before other people too. Specially if you invested almost 5 years of your life in the relationship. But you need to be thinking of whats best for you. If you have more time and less worries on your head youll be able to focus on getting a job, and a place to stay. Just, take care of yourself. This will also be important for you to have a better relationship. If not with her, then with someone else; but the key is to feel good about yourself and who you are before anything else.', 'You probably wont care for a while. It happens to all of us. But this kind of things dont ask for your permission, they just happen. You are young, youll find someone else, and if not, someone else will find you. Relationships are crazy like that, when one ends we lose faith in them, but then another one starts. Youll be ok, and if you get your life in order, and feel good about who you are, youll find someone that fits perfectly into your new life... it takes time, but it just... suddenly happens.', 'Do you have any idea of what made you feel Depression in the 1st place?', 'Well, thats what Id need to know to tell you what Id do! haha, but here are 2 options: If we had a really good relationship, and I really cared about him, I would keep it to myself. But of course I would explain what the situation is, not to give any false hopes. My hopes would be to preserve that friendship intact (Im assuming the relationship with her boyfriend is pretty solid tho, I dont know if it actually is). The other option, (and again, this would depend on the kind of relationship you 2 have), would be to push him away a lil bit. Not out of majot bitchiness, but avoid hurting him or having him in situations where he might fell bad. Now, both of these can have different results... I guess it depends on whether they are one of those couple that share eeeeverything with each other or not.', 'It does look like you have to get out of that enviroment. What are your plans for next year when you turn 18?', 'Same for you! Good luck!', 'Well I wouldnt expect you to want to right now. You still need to figure out what to do with your current relationship. All Im saying is, once you make a decision: keep an open mind. Thats the wonderful thing of love at 1st sight, it just... happens. Love is also something to look forward too, just stay positive and look at all the things that are yet to come.', 'Well, as a girl I dont really know where you can meet girls. But I can tell you I did meet my boyfriend online (and not in a dating site either, just... social network, just got a message from a random stranger and we started talking about random things). I find it to be a good way of meeting people: it can go one of 2 ways: you can find people that lie; or people that will be absolutely honest because they have nothing to prove to you.I know being alone can be tough, and in your case, having someone so close to you that you want, but seems so unreachable at the same time. I dont think you can go out looking for love, but, just put yourself out there, and it eventually finds you. Sometimes it takes a while, of course, but when it comes it will be worth it.I know I probably didnt help much, just wanted to tell you not to give up, love just has a way of appearing when you least expect it.', 'For what I read your friends seem to be acting kinda childish. It shouldnt be that big of a deal, nor should affect your friendship in such a way. Id tell you to count your blessings more than your losses... You have a great girl, and the opportunity to find a better place that suits your needs. If they arent willing to accept that moving out is not some kinda of betrayal, then it doesnt seem to be a real friendship, you know, at least from their point of view. I understand your feelings towards them might be sincere, but friendships cant be one-sided. Try to work things out, but all in all, its up to them to see that they are making a huge drama-fest out of something thats not that bad.', 'In my opinion, the first need thing you should try, is to not feel ashamed. You did nothing wrong, what you did, you did out of love. You are not the one who should be ashamed. Its the person who you trusted that should be. We all have failed relationships, and the feelings that you have: feeling used, worthless; are pretty much on the normal side. But you need to talk about it to overcome those feelings. With anyone. You should try your parents, after all, you already came out to them; and what happened to you, happens to a lot of people, and it hurts the same way to everyone of them. Being conservative shouldnt prevent them from understanding what you are going through. If you still dont feel confortable with them, you always have a bunch of strangers right here that are willing to listen to you.', 'You are welcome. I know it sucks, but you REALLY didnt do ANYTHING, that would make them act like that; be sure you are not the problem here, they are. Hopefully theyll understand that at some point.', 'Id say you give her the chance to tell you how she feels. Then again, for what Ive read, your relationship may not be at its best right now. Just see what she has to say, Im sure youll be able to figure out what to do after that. If you dont think shell be part of the solution, she is probably part of the problem. And I know its hard to hear, but if shes not gonna help you out, you need to move on and focus on yourself.', 'Same here, you can PM if you want.', 'You can PM me if you like.', 'Well Im a lil older than you, and we cant exactly hang out. But you can PM me if you wanna talk.', 'Well, you have been capable of establishing a meaningful relationship before, so be sure you can do it again. Also, Im assuming you just finished high school or are about to, youll meet lots of new people from here on. Dont be scared to  open up to new people: you did it already, you can do it again!', 'Feeling like you owe people for things in your life shouldnt make you feel trapped, but grateful. Remember when people do things for you, its because they care, not because they expect something in return. If your family didnt want you around, they wouldnt notice the absence so much; if they do, theyd probably like to have you around. Id recommend you to drop them a line, let them know how you are feeling; if they know, theyll be able to show their support.Dont think you are not good enough, you dont have to live by anyone standards but yours. Make clear whats important to you, and stay true to that. ', 'You are young. Its hard to go out and finally get out lives started. Be patient, and stay focused. Im trying to get a job too, and its difficult (different country tho), but you just need to keep trying, perseverance will bring results eventually. Probably once that happens, you will start feeling better about yourself, and that will definitely help to make relationships with the people around you better. Talk to your girlfriend, you feeling like this is probably affecting her and the way she acts around you too. I dont know how I would act if I found my boyfriend with a gun in his hand either. Tell her how you feel, and ask her to help you stay motivated to do all the things you wanna do. Im sure you can make it.']",Supportive
user-64,"['You need a sponsor. Like recovering drug addicts- but someone who is also struggling with mental illness. Being alone is the difference between life and death. No one should have to be alone... maybe find another person on suicidewatchAnd, obviously, dont do it!! I dont know you, so I cant tell you how awesome you are. All I know is that you have kids- if you cant live for you, live for them. If you kill yourself, those screams theyve heard will haunt them forever. They need you, and care about you. If you have no other reason to live, let it be them ', 'Make your own puzzle', 'Hes right. Part of Depression is the overwhelming loneliness- we think that no one could possibly have felt this bad. That no one exists that is like us. It is all a mental block- you have to change your brain chemistry. For me, and my Fear (not going to specify), I told myself ""Some day Ill be okay with it."" I knew it didnt have to be right away, and it took some of the Pressure away. Plus, knowing that Id feel better some day made the current day more bearable', 'Youre welcome to talk to me. I dont have a degree, but I know a bit on the subject. And Ive been to therapy- what helped was talking about myself, I never stayed in long enough for analysis. Plus Im free :)']",Indicator
user-65,"['I dont know what youre going through but I live my life 24 hours at a time. Some days those 24 hours feel like 48. Youre going to Pain people in your life. Its how it goes. Ive put a lot of people through a lot of grief in my life. ', 'That shows youre a caring person. Ive Pain someone real bad before and lived with it for a long time. Then I found this person has long forgiven (and forgotten) me and I was beating myself up for nothing. I wasted all that time that I couldnt get back. Its not an easy lesson Ill admit, but I wish I had done things differently. ', 'Youre welcome. Any time. ', 'I treat each positive day as motivation to keep going. Proms are over rated anyways :)', 'Im sorry about your brother. That is a terrible thing to go through. You cared enough to leave this message for your family. Imagine how they will feel losing another child. I dont know your situation but you have options. 6 months is really not a long time to grieve the loss of your brother. And you will always have ups and downs because of it. Please go to your local emerg. They can help you. I nearly gave up once myself. I felt hopeless and desperate. But its gotten better. With meds and counselling Im doing better today and I never thought I would get there. Please dont do this. ', 'Thats a horrible thing to say, especially from a family member. Please dont give up. Ive come close before and Im so glad I didnt go through with the plan. This world is huge, youll find what you need. I promise. Just dont give up. ', 'I have these same thoughts. I used think my next up period would be the one that lasted forever. After a few of these failures I gave up hoping. What keeps me going is my family. They push me on when I want to give up. Keep your head up. 24 hours at a time. ', 'Can I ask why you want to do this?', 'Please dont give up. People care about you. Even if you dont realize it. ', 'Im not going to lie, it can hard to be with someone dealing with depression. I have a new level of respect for my SO for being able to handle it. ', 'I get it. Shits tough right now. Im assuming you have a family, parents, aunts or uncles, siblings -- you would also be effectively ending their lives as well. Im telling you that you can change your situation if youre willing to try. Will it be easy? No. Will you want to give up at times, yes. But the biggest reward you can find is giving your self the chance to succeed. Youre so young man. I was 15 and shit, I had a horrible experience. If I could tell you all the shitty things that I have gone through you wouldnt believe me. You have your whole life ahead of you. It would be such a waste to throw in the towel now. If I had given up back then I would never have gotten the chance to fall in love, have a family, and find some framework of happiness. Trust me I felt like you do once before and I know it sucks, but honestly man, it gets better. If you give yourself the chance, youll prove it to yourself. Hang in there alright. One day at a time. ', 'Getting out on your own can be scary enough, let alone having to support your brother. Is your brother a minor? Maybe you can get some sort of financial support for the both of you. Dont give up all hope. Youre young and have your whole life ahead of you. When I left home at 19 it was rough for me too. Never had any money, felt hopeless for a while. But I found a job that paid the bills and gradually my life started improving. Please dont give up. Your life has value even if you cant see that right now. Here to talk if you need me. ', 'I dont know if this helps, but I found this site online where you can chat with someone. Might be worth a shot. https://www.imalive.orgAt the Tired least send me a message and Ill talk with you. ', 'Im so sorry. Grief can send your emotions every which way. And I cant begin to imagine how you feel right now. I think you should reach out to your family and friends. If anything, just to hold you. Youre here now so try to hold on longer. Here to talk if you need me. ', 'I know this sounds cliche, but I dated a girl when I was 19 and fell head over heals in love with her. She was my first ""real"" relationship. We had all these plans. Marriage, babies, etc. And then one day it all fell apart...bad. I was a complete wreck. I didnt eat or sleep for days. I was so devastated I couldnt see a way out. But --- it got better. I dont remember how or why, but it just got easier each day. Flash forward 17 years later, Im happily married and look back on that relationship with the sense of ""ah, to be young again"".Hang in there man. ', 'As a person who suffers from depression, yes this happens, but is not normal imo. I do this to my SO all the time. I dont know why, but the person closest to me tends to take the brunt of my down days. I recognize what I am doing and have made attempts to change that behaviour. Its quite possible she recognizes this behaviour too, but is afraid to address it. I always felt (still feel) guilt for doing that to my soulmate and best friend. Best of luck ', 'I have been where you are before. I couldnt function, couldnt think, couldnt do anything. All I wanted was to be free from this. I was going to kill myself but something held me back. I was able to get help from meds and doctors and slowly I am getting better. If you havent already, please try seeking help. It took a lot of denial from me before I realized I needed help. But Im thankful I did. Im starting to see light at the end of my tunnel. I still have bad days - you always will - but Ive learned ways to help me cope and get through the rough times. Your life has value and it may be hard for you to see that now, but you will if you dont give up. Here to talk if you want. ']",Behavior
user-66,"['Pothead', 'Grab the gun on my drawer and just aim it at my head and squeeze until the beds completely red Im glad Im dead a worthless Buddha head']",Behavior
user-67,"['Hi.I do not want to scare anyone away from here. You are heroes. Some of us just arent looking for help. Maybe I shouldnt have posted here. ', 'Hi.Im sorry to scare you. There are lots of people on here looking for help. I did not intend to scare you away. Maybe posting here wasnt a good idea.I had some trouble buying a gun today. I thought I had all of the paperwork in order, but apparently they needed some other things I didnt have on me.']",Behavior
user-68,"['Do you care about your boyfriend? He obviously cares about you, his way of showing it might not be the best, but he obviously doesnt want you to be sad.  A friend of mine just committed suicide on Valentines day. He Was my cousins (basically my brother) best friend. My family, his family and all his friends are going through so much Pain that they dont deserve.  Now, every Valentines day, all his poor mother will be able to think about is that being the day her son took his own life.  Think about the people you will leave behind.  Then decide if its worth it.  I just posted, its named HELP. PLEASE read it.  Get better love :)']",Indicator
user-69,"['Have you considered a Certificate/Foundation course at a University?  I know Auckland, AUT, Victoria Uni in Wellington, Waikato University and Canterbury all do them.  They provide a pathway into a specific degree.  After I was rejected at AUT, I did one for six months then was allowed into the Computer and Information Science degree.  If youre set on Uni, this might help you find your way and six months on top of a 3 year degree isnt a huge ask! If you need any more help looking into this, or just want to chat to another Kiwi, feel free to PM me.  As the government will either give or lend you money while you study, this could be an excellent opportunity to get away from your family.  Some space to become your own person not in relation to them may help. Also, youre not a screw up.  Most people dont know what they want to do with their lives at 17/18 and dont have it figured out.  From my experience, 80% of people I went to high school with have changed hugely since leaving school.  There is no guarantee your life will be the way your parents have made you think it is.  You have a chance to make a life you like, and youve taken the first steps by identifying your problems and asking for help.  Uni isnt the only way to go, either.  If youd rather work, consider applying for internships/jobs which will give you some training.  I know New Zealand Couriers do a great one.  Working straight out of school doesnt mean you wont go to Uni eventually either - earning some money first and getting out of a difficult environment is a pretty smart bet. ', 'I havent read your original post but Im Tired glad you didnt kill yourself, it gives me hope that I can make it too x']",Ideation
user-70,"['Thats just it, its not the heroin Im good at, its living the shitty street life of a junkie that I am good at.  Im having such a miserable time trying to adjust to real, sedentary life.  I feel like a constant outsider, and it kills me.I liked the symbol of strength that keeping it gave me for this last year or so, but now that I realized how easy it would be to fill it up with cleaning products its haunting me.  I didnt think about the recognition like that at all though.  I think it just gave me the push I need to stick around at least for another day.  Thank you. ', 'I really appreciate it.  Most of the people I considered friends I need to avoid like the plague due to the habit.  Thanks.', 'Heroin seems like the only option in my mind right now.  Its something I KNOW Im good at, and its the only thing in years thats made me feel anything but depressed.  And it finally dawned on me that I dont have the guts to do anything with a knife or a gun, but I could just as easily poison myself to death with a needle.  I actually never should have kept a single rig as a reminder, I dont know what I was thinking.', 'Funny Amanda Todd has come up with my throwaway and my regular account in a few days.  Oh, and FUCK YOU.  ']",Behavior
user-71,"['Well I thank god for that battery and I am happy to be talking to you.Can you tell me what first made you get into photography, what was your first photo that you thought was good?', 'From my experience, when people tell you you are a genius they mean it, because it makes them feel stupid when they do.From what you say it sounds like you really like to innovate, create new and useful things. I can totally get how it feels like a renaissance, there is so much potential in all the knowledge we have. It seems like so much could be achieved by just combining the two right fields.', 'No problem. Are you doing better today? did anything interesting or important happen today?', 'I cant imagine how much it sucks to have no bearing, and to have oversight of the huge dissagreance in america. To a foreigner like me it really does seem like a place of extremes. What rift is between your father and best friend?', 'What subjects did you take and which do you enjoy? Lazyness and lack of motivation can really suck, especially when they are screwing up something you want. What do you think made you spoiled, does it have to do with your dad?Strong religious ideologys can really suck when you disagree with them. ', 'what kind of prototype development?', 'What decision pulled you towards cambridge then as a boardingschool. And why do you not plan on staying in helsinki? Is it to do with your girlfriend?', 'You beg to differ on what? I most certainly am happy to be talking to you.I remember my first photo I actually liked. An odd realization indeed, to see myself do something I admired others for doing. What kind of photo was it? do you still like it when looking back? I am looking at mine now, and find it a bit dull.', 'Was that the first time you really thought about suicide? Last night I mean', 'Not knowing your situation well enough, I cant say that your life will without any doubt get better. That said, it most certainly CAN get better and if I were a betting man, id bet that it will. But lets get to know you better, why do you feel like you have no clue what to do? And how do you feel like you are a burden on your family, do you think they would agree?', 'that sounds reasonable, some things do indeed need taking care of.', 'I also just wanted to say I think its really brave of you to come out here and share all this. It must be Tired hard to let others in on these feelings.', 'It must suck to feel like that. Do you think you could help me unerstand why you feel like a failure?', 'Its great that your talking with her. How did she react to it? Also, what kind of mind altering stimulant? If you never told anyone else, did you find it dificult to come here and share your story?', 'I am more than happy to help.', 'Ah yeah, street photography. Its not where I started, but i do really like it. There is a spontinaity to it that i really like. If you dont live with him, where do you live, and in what circumstances? Sounds like your father is a real piece of work.', 'Awesome that you are going to see someone for help. Can I deduce from your name that you want to become a voice actor?', 'Have you talked to your girlfriend about your Suicidal intentions this time? I think she could really help you because she knows you.Have you ever told anyone else about your Suicidal tendencies, or tried to?', 'If you say you might be an idiot savant, do you also think you are autistic or something along those lines?', 'Ah, I see. Thanks for explaining. Strange how in english so many things are called college.Why did you find it difficult to stay in The Leys? Also, The Leys looks beatiful on google maps, and I actually think I remember CATS college.', 'It must really suck to have this happen. I wish I could understand how you  feel but I probably cant. As a start though Id like to know more about your situation. I tried to apply to cambridge but failed to get in. What college where you in?', 'Wow, thats quite a story. I imagine it sucks losing all your friends. I cant imagine how scary the prospect of that happening again would be.If i read this correctly, you accidentally passed on a secret to someone who shouldnt know the secret and people found out. Am I right?You also say youve never considered it until today. Did you never consider it at all, or never this seriously?I really hope youll help me understand, and perhaps help.', 'Please dont take that step. I really really hope that you dont. I probably still dont get how much your life sucks, but I still feel that you should go on loving. People care about you, people who want to help. Please just stay and talk.', 'and how do you exactly believe money has perverted this (not because I disagree, just trying to understand better)', 'Yeah, i think many cases of autism are overgeneralisations or just a stamp to put on people. What do you mean when you say ""fucked with""?It is really great when you can get that right alignment, right environment and just soar straight ahead. It just makes you feel like one of the best people on earth.Also the iron man series are awesome!', 'Yeah, money does give that feeling of being scored, evaluated. Often by people who dont really seem qualified.I have to go now, sleep and some really pressing chores. Thank you for giving me some insight into you. It has been a pleasure talking to you. I hope youll figure this out. Ill probably be back tommorow.', 'sounds like a lot of awesome stuff. I certainly agree such things are a reason to stay alive. Where did you learn to do them. And if you feel up to it, why do you feel this way?', 'sorry for taking so long to reply. It has been a few buisy days.Do you hold back with your therapist because you dont really know her enough yet? And I noticed you didnt mention talking to your mother. Is that to protect her?And what exactly caused your desperation this time? the news that you werent going to cambridge?', 'Yeah, money can really be a hassle and a huge burden when you dont have it. How would a kind of honor system work though? ', 'Leicas are the creme de la creme from what I hear and read. Would indeed be awesome to have one.Its said that your mother is egoistical and argumentative but it seems like she is at least there for you.I have to go now, dinner, sleep, work etc. Ill probably be back tomorrow, I liked talking with you :) I really hope youll be okay.', 'I think she cares for you.And you are most welcome. I would have loved to even just have helped a bit. It means a lot to me to mean a lot to someone else (what a sentence).Im wondering, how did you go from latvia to cambridge? And what does helsinki have to do with all this?', 'That sounds like a serene picture, was it?', 'That is fucking shitty to have your father be in Pain and not find help. Do you think that perhaps time will heal his wounds?There is certainly a lot of Pain in the world. Things can really suck. I feel for you. Seeing a father in trouble is really fucking shitty, there is just something about a father that means he shouldnt be in trouble. Fuck man, my dad has MS and there is really no proccesing it.', 'Do they hate you for knowing or telling?How long have you felt this way? Did it start today? How far have you considered your suicide? For example, do you have a method or a time in mind?', 'he probably isnt ignoring you because he doesnt care. Hes doing it because he is afraid to care. And he couldnt handle this Fear so he decided to pull away. He is a dick and hugley selfish by doing this but he DOES care. Hes just to afraid to acknowledge this. Because then he has to help you and that means facing his own demons. He rejected you, not because you deserve it, but because he was to much of a pussy to accept you.If someone doesnt love someone else that is more often enough because they are afraid to love. It doesnt mean the other person is to blame. Not in any way!The fact that you have opened your heart to someone, and are now opening yourself to the world via reddit. Is more than enough to me to say that YOU DO DESERVE TO BE LOVED. You clearly have a huge heart, and care a lot. That alone makes you a great person.Lastly I want to thank you for sharing. I am going through some stuff of my own, and you opening up has given me more courage.', 'It seems like you have a lot of people helping you, and your even making progress. So now I dont feel I really understand why you are Suicidal. Could you help me understand. Please dont get this as me saying its not that bad I wouldnt dare suggest your not really suffering. I simply want to understand why you are.', 'documental as in journalistic? Also do you share your photos with anyone? 9 film cameras is a lot, why so many? are they all Tired different?What happened for your father to be dissapointed in you, it seems really harsh what he did. Do you see him often, do you live with him (and his 4 model girlfriends?)', 'DT sounds Tired interesting. Economics and maths can be really boring and Psychology is great because you get to look into how people work. I myself dabble a bit in photography, what kind of photography do you prefer, and what kind of camera do you use? The other subjects you were meant to do seem to fit you a lot better. Buisness studies does stand out a bit though, why did you choose it?']",Supportive
user-72,"['You know what you should do?Instead of thinking about killing yourself, just pack up your stuff, and leave.  Leave everything behind.  Dont let this be the end of your life, but the start of a new one.  Dont ""live on the street"", find a hotel to stay at, hitchhike, rent a car, whatever.   And your family probably doesnt think of you as a burden.  Imagine a burden you would be if you killed yourself; Depression on everyone, further financial problems with funeral costs and such, etc.Also think of dying this way: you will be sent into oblivion forever.  No, you wont know it, but you will not EXIST anymore.  Not eating, breathing, running, anything. Make your existence meaningful and dont throw it away carelessly. I hope you can find your way out of this.', 'I can understand that. You would rather take your own life than die from drugs. Society is fucked up and I hate having to conform what ""right"" and ""normal"" to society. Sorry if I come off as annoying, I just know there are better and more options than just choosing death. You just have to find them. ', 'That last option (besides dying on the battlefield) actually sounds like a great idea.  Just find away to leave (even fighting ISIS). Find something that doesnt require any sort of payment (since I am in a large amount of debt also, I know how you feel).Basically getting away from this awful sounding family of yours and finding your own purpose in life, instead of letting it slip away.I really wish you good luck.', 'But you did make it, once.  Doesnt mean you should give it another try.  Give life another chance, I believe in you.  Despite all of these shortcomings, youve still managed to make it this far.  ']",Supportive
user-73,"['Please believe what this person said.  I cant stop Crying at the potential loss of someone like you on this planet. We really, really do need you.  ', 'Please dont focus on them.  Focus on all of us who love you from the moment we read your words.  You ARE beautiful and worthy and lovable, and I can only hope that someday you fully realize this.', 'Please, please, please dont do this.  For any number of reasons, please.First off, your death will be a far greater burden to your friends than any of your problems ever could be.  You seem like a person who is incredibly concerned with the well-being of others, and this is the only reason I am starting here.  Please understand how much the loss of you will affect their lives.  Please understand that they will forever blame themselves, and wonder what they could have possibly done differently to change how you felt.  Again, this is not to add to your misery, but to appeal to the incredible concern you seem to have for others.  They care about you for a reason.  I am not transgender, so I cannot personally relate to the turmoil that brings, but I did spend about 6 months in San Francisco working with a group that focuses on transgender economic empowerment.  Have you ever considered moving there?  Is that something that is even remotely feasible?  You would be shocked by how accepted and respected you would be there; the citys attitude towards the transgender community was easily my favorite thing about the being there.  Additionally, the group I worked with was geared towards helping transgender people find employment there.  I obviously cannot guarantee anything (Im not in SF anymore), but I would love to put you in touch with them.  Not only that, but there are organizations there to help you afford your hormones.Sweetheart (please dont take that condescendingly), you are little older than 23.  Your life *should* be full of mistakes and fuck-ups.  Even beyond that age, fucking up is part of life.  For the people you love so much, please, please, please do not Pain yourself.  They will never, ever get over it, and someone with your kind heart has so incredibly much to contribute to this world.  Please feel free to PM me anytime.  Best of luck.As an addendum, please try to get on other meds, ones specifically geared towards treating depression.  I was thisclose to suicide for much of my life, until I found the right combination (for me, it is Wellbutrin and Lexapro).  I still cry for the lost little girl I used to be, and for all I would have missed out on if I had never found my way out.']",Ideation
user-74,"['I read the whole thing. Your story is fascinating, Im sorry your life is in such a bad place right now. It somewhat reminds me of my school days. For a long time I always had the old or secondhand clothes, and always wrinkled. I didnt really understand ironing clothes while in middle school and my mom somehow allowed me to walk out of the house to go to school every morning looking like a slob. One time I really wanted this hooded sweatshirt and I remember my friends mother worked at whatever clothing store it was at. My mother bought me the sweatshirt but later returned it because it was $40. I remember I had this one summer job at a library later on where they didnt pay you until 4 weeks into the job, and then only on a biweekly basis. By Asthenia three I didnt have enough money for lunch and my parents wouldnt give me any, and I tried bringing lunch but someone would always steal it out of a fridge when I was outside working. I ended up getting by by borrowing money and buying a plain bagel with nothing on it for lunch every day for about $1.15. Fortunately I was able to buy good clothes and make myself presentable by high school. You definitely had it worse than me though. How old are you? Maybe you should join the military or go get some dangerous job that no one else wants to do. Like just go up to Alaska if you can somehow get the money and work as a deckhand on a fishing boat or something. Make sure you go at the right time of the year. Go become a longhaul truck driver. I would tell you to work in the oil fields but I doubt theyre hiring now. Use the money from the fishing boat to go get your electrician or plumbers license or something like that. Go get a skill in a job that other people dont want to do. Become a garbage man for some town. Garbage men can get decent salary and good benefits if you stick with it long enough. Or go work in a sewage treatment plant. Some of that might be Union and will be hard to start out in. If you want to kill yourself anyway you wont be afraid on that fishing boat when the shit hits the fan and youre in 30 waves. Just stick with it man and find something no one else wants to do and youll make it probably, you said you were a smart guy.']",Indicator
user-75,"['I was expecting you to follow up on that title.  Ive found writing helps to get all my thoughts out so I can make more sense of them. I can write and think literally all day. Im analytical, everythings difficult to get down in my writing because each thought leads to something else, its like I want to paint the big picture but I can never do it all in so little words as people want me to. I always go off-topic. Dont take that as a bad thing when it happens to you, though.My strategy is to deal with things before I can feel bad about them. Should do it? Going to do it -> Will do it. -> Okay Im going to do it.  It validates logically too, it gets me in the frame of mind for dealing with it because I create a response, rather than waiting to deal with it.   Then again it varies with context. I just dont do phone calls period if I can avoid it.I stumbled into a homeless shelter about 3 years ago and Im still here, Depression and with my head down all the time, Tired Worried and generally debilitated. I wouldnt have occurred to me to write about my problem here or to phone any support line. Id shared a house and got increasingly worse Anxiety because Id dropped out of uni and then couldnt pay my rent share for most of the time. For about a year and a half I would respond with a yes or no to staff here. But I recovered, I made real progress eventually, even though I still isolate and spend all day online and dont want to have anything to do with real people apart from occasional interaction. I was in a constant fear/Anxiety of people, in particular a knock on a door or a bell/buzzer would set me off. Throughout school I hadnt sought mental health help, I was mostly silent, introverted, reflective.. ultimately it stems from my early family life, and feelings of abandonment, an Emotional upset shell.Anyway, some thoughts-1. Dont feel bad for not writing in the same structure as everyone else2. Consider your ""loved ones"" might be frustrated and not sure what else to do / not able3. Depression can be a symptom of underlying self-esteem, body image ""problems""4. Have you tried blogging, to get your thoughts out? Or email drafts or something?5. Its okay to be a bad friend, its okay not to live up to expectations.Life isnt logical, but we can say of the world its far too complex to say we dont deserve a place here. From there we can work towards the specific problems we face and improve either our perception of the situation or how we respond to it, changing it.  Ideally a counselor will spend the time to go through the specifics, but theres plenty of stories about bad counselors..', 'The good thing about life is you can always start over. I watched 21 grams the other night, it really changed my perspective on life because I have existential issues of my own. Link here: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL4C86324FEFEC5B39You said you fucked up recently-  to me that sounds like different areas of life went wrong for you at the same time. Maybe theyve been long coming, and it seems so much to deal with at once. Having support can completely turn that around; I dont manage my living situation directly but I help towards it. Forms and bills that would overwhelm me are dealt with easily. I have people to talk to because they are professional staff. And its possible to move on from there to full independence, one step at a time.You might consider all the things you can do, all the experiences you havent had yet. Write a bucket list?Can you share specifics?I really think you should carefully consider all the options you have.', 'Ive read your other posts so I know you mean well but I wish youd stop saying thinking is bad. If anything the chief cause of suicide is our poorly run, responsibility-denying money-worshipping society that fails to prepare us all for life period. For myself thinking is a way of analyzing what I am so that I can direct my life; its from confronting my internal behaviour and decisionmaking processes that I reason I can and should do something with my life at all. (or maybe even, I will only ever make decisions based on my long-term experience of wanting to have a function in society. I have to know this.)Thank you for yet another thoughtful and insightful post. Im appreciating them.', 'On another thread/topic here, there was the phrase ""I dont know why I want to live""http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/1h5n11/i_just_want_to_be_good_at_something/carbv3dTry thishttps://www.google.com/search?q=muscle+relaxation+Anxiety+youtubeI really dont know where to begin with your racing thoughts problem. Have you had a diagnosis? The fastest Ive had thoughts coming, it was useful for me, and I cant imagine anything faster than that. I think if you are having them extremely fast they cant be that useful. Ive had to use a camera to record myself talking about stuff as it comes to me, because Im particularly.. active at the moment. So many thoughts come to me every day, something like 100-200. Writing is the only way I can keep track, and building them into something constructive is helpful. (though the thoughts, about the nature of existence, trouble me and are nothing I can do much about)Possibly for you it has something to do with laying down a structure to your day; I know mine is unorganized and I feel burnt out a lot of the time as well as Depression sometimes. I am living in my head all day every day, thinking, weighing up and analyzing things, its not exhausting; it feels like the best way to live. I actually like not being able to tell what day it is. But the problem with that is it also invites Anxiety because I dont know where my life is going in the short-term. I always do this trailing-off-on-a-tangent thing. Maybe I should think more and write something coherent but I dont like to wait / waste time.I wouldnt ever say bad people dont deserve a place in the world. Rather people are the natural expression of the environment that surrounds/creates them.Im completely isolated from anyone at all. I might used to have said I lived and worked for the world; non-nationalism. But deconstructing all of my identity comes before saying such things. There are some things we can say about life however;- its all well ever have with which to do something of meaning, and our ""creation"" invites us to have some sort of function in the world. Whether or not its ultimately pointless or forgettable. Ultimately it can mean nothing in the bigger picture where were less than 1% of the universe; a grossly immature organization of creatures on a tiny planet harboring egos that seek to undermine our significance. But we are not logical creatures. People dont usually have these thoughts, and that is the rough consensus/standard for sanity.>I think its more that I dont want it.But there is in all possibility many future places where youd say you do want it. So the general therapists task is to get you to enjoy some small things in your life, get you enjoying it a little more. What kind of person doesnt want to enjoy life? And rationalizations towards the opposite of enjoying life will come from not enjoying it.  I know I have thoughts that conflict at different *levels* of my existence, but even as a thinker it comes down to what I feel like doing in the end. Its most difficult to do things against what you feel. So feeling is key. And especially for Anxiety, a lack of positive associations with bodily or environmental sensations/stimuli is what drives our reactions to it rather than logic.  So basically I will always have an aversion to people because I was rarely ever hugged as a child and b/c I isolated throughout my entire school life.  But I spend my time on things I enjoy, youtube, learning/reading, gaming/programming, a digital life in general. The good outweighs the bad. And thats how people live.I liked thishttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amkrPkcg3XU', 'http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hu5oaty0uJM', 'Tell her you love her and want to keep her in your life, that you want to support her and get her through this, that you will listen to her always.  Tell her you want her to at least discuss this with you in detail to be sure its the right choice.  That this is such an important decision for her and you want to help all you can.Is she getting any support from her family? What other people would be suitable to contact that wouldnt put too much Pressure on her (with her permission)?', 'If she can drop you that easily despite what youve had, all you can do is forget her and move on. What good is obsessing over her? Even if she came back, she could go again at the drop of a hat, fucking you up even further. Your best choice is to shut her out of your life completely and deal with being alone.Its difficult when on the rebound. What you want is to be stable, which means not starting another relationship. Re. this one-  stand your ground now that youve been betrayed, as a form of self-respect if nothing else. You have to respect yourself above others. You have to be harsh on yourself at times to make the Pain less in the long run. Being comfortable with being alone is better before being a relationship. Then you arent so distraught when someone goes, and you have other coping methods.Relationships are never perfect the first time. Wed love them to be, but the secret is you have to be prepared to be open with every person you get involved with, to learn more about yourself and whats really healthy for you. Eventually you find someone, in theory, that meets expectations, but why should it be easy? How could it be easy?This isnt the end of the world. You in fact have every single option that was ever possible at this point. You can distract yourself with something positive, something rewarding. You can find friends and even a partner again, in time. But accept the reality: this is over; any deep bond of trust has been broken. The best thing you can do for your future self is pick up the pieces sooner rather than later. Alcohol/drugs wont help.', 'Find an adult at school or even the police, explain your situation, they should set you up with someone that will listen to you and not judge you, work out your options from there. Dont be afraid to ask for help. As another poster says you may be able to get time off from school, you need guidance and support because you are being bullied. Bullying hurts on the inside too not just the outside, its Tired serious if you are made to feel suicidal. Please ask an adult for help.', 'I hope you get a diagnosis, this is really important to be able to communicate to your family you have a legitimate struggle not an excuse or laziness.You are here, and you have a potential to enjoy life, which trumps a logical analysis of wanting or not wanting. You dont choose to live, nobody did, but we discover who we can be as a result, and whether we find difficulty there, that can be seen as completely separate. Its okay to be in trouble and in need of help. Its human and common and normal. If you are here for others then maybe its not so much to ask of yourself to try anything that will work, to help yourself up. It can be difficult to believe in yourself but its possible, its always possible to move on from where we are and there is no shame in that.', '>I dont know why I want to live.I felt this way last year. Existential questions are Tired important to some of us while for others its never a concern, and the thinking is expected to be dealt with some other way within this responsibility-dodging society. Most lines of thought arent approached by therapists because they of course have stable lives in the economic system; dont see a need to question it. Most people in the world in fact cant offer up the experience to handle these questions, so theyll pretend theyre not important(!)Since we dont have a lot of space here, possibly ask yourself1. why you are driven to ask this in particular2. if your line of thought could be biased by being in this position3. if youd find a more certain answer by first becoming happy with yourself4. if you can be content with being who you are5. if its okay to live every day with being ugly, a failure, or poor, or homeless, or blind etc.6. if you would try to put everything right, given the chanceFor what its worth I still think along those lines (death today vs. tomorrow) every day even though my living situation and life in general isnt such a problem for me right now. And I have to ask myself why Im posting here. But thats me and my existential worries, my loneliness and lack of social life & distraction talking. Distraction is the key word. Its the secret to how people never stumble across the big question. More tasty food, more nice clothes, and so on.Environmental damage is something close to 0% of the people of the world are conscious of. Why be part of that low percentile? Its happening anyway whether you care about it or not: this is the world thats been created and its the world thats here to stay.Really, these rationalizations are coming from having nothing to live for that youre excited about in the short-term. And by no means does that mean that they cant appear again. People do not break. The mind is Tired flexible and adaptable. Its possible to fix your environment, therefore its possible you can be happier with life. That question never disappears completely.Everything with your life can be improved if youre serious; all its ever concerned is the method, knowledge, skills that you apply.']",Behavior
user-76,"['Haha, as they say you can do anything you put your mind to! Although Ive always felt like the people that work there are like the snotty clique at high school. Presumptuous and rude. Although I may feel bias because I work with waitresses, and unless youre a regular or a fellow employee, they always just slightly treat you like a second hand citizen.. Anywho!Im awfully Tired today, sorry I wasnt Tired conversational this time about. Seems like we could both use an extra helping of sleep.  ', 'The thing is with holes, theyre a lot scarier then they really are. People think that ""Its so high and Im surrounded on all sides"" they loose track of themselves and get caught up and amplify a sitaution that isnt that bad. But fact of the matter is theyre simple to get out. Just gotta go up.My man it seems you need to have a meeting with yourself. Go out to a place where you can clear your head, whether its a hill with a view, a coffee shop, or even your room with a clipboard. Forget about everyone else and everything. You need to identify your goals and how it is your going to accomplish them. No ones more important then yourself. I sat down last year and by the time I was done, I had 6 pages of basic to complex things I wanted to do and how to do them. When I wake up in the morning now *Im* working to accomplish *my* goals. Now I dont want to force anything upon you or give any wrong ideas, but thats what worked me. Make sure at the Tired least at the end day you can say ""While I didnt get much done, Im one step closer to...""', 'Damn, wheres the humanity these days? I hope nothing was damaged, have you gotten everything back in hopefully one piece?A lot of that could be due to Stress. A friend of mine is taking some AP physc classes and Stress has been known to defunct a persons ability to process everyday cognitive abilities if it becomes too much. Kind of like when theres not enough ram on a computer and you que up too many processes. But of course Im not a professional, although if you ask me it sounds like what you really need is a vacation. Of course its when were in no position for leisure is when we need it the most. And please, a tiny mess like this is more than a match for someone of your technological expertise. Ive actually been up to pretty much the same, ironing out the kinks of life so to speak. Finally cut my hours at work, it was just too stressful and left me with zero free time between that and school. Im not sure if I mentioned it but I was accepted to my University of choice so Ive been preparing for that to start sometime in the fall. And since Id fallen behind in school due to work, Ive really just spent the past few weeks studying for exams I had last Asthenia, and passing in missing assignments. The only other highlight being I bought a guitar, so hopefully Ill learn how to play that. Not every exciting yes but between life and being around negative-three degrees out most of the Excitement is waiting to thaw (ha, kind of like your couch [sorry if that was too soon, I think someone said laughter is the best medicine so I figured Id give it a shot]).', 'Its a good temporary relief. Im still looking for the proper cure myself. ""Maybe tomorrow"" has pretty much become my catch phrase. If you ever want to talk let me know, I can give you my email. ', 'Its almost comforting to see that. Its just hard having that kind of click in your head, after working hard and with the notion that if your going to do something; make sure it matters. Ive always been a firm believer in myself and my morals, ""to be the change you want to see in the world."" So while I understand, and I probably will, to just suck things up and move upwards and onward the best I can is going to be the most obnoxious thing for me.But hey, to each their own.', 'Hey man, I know its rough when school is such a focal point of todays society. Im a senior myself and I find myself teetering over the edge on the grade scale too. No one ever said itll be easy, but thats why theres people like us.You see, people like us are the game changers. Weve been on both ends of the spectrum and know its ins and outs. Were the ones that make an impact, regardless of how large. We build our lives into something were proud of, by doing so inspiring others to follow. I know work, and money, and school all seems pointless but were only 16-18% done with our lives. I know it sucks not being able to do what you want, I went through the same phase of ""Computer now, work not."" Your parents are really looking out for your best interest, trust them on this one. And lifes just one of those things where youre going to get back what you put into it. The more you do, the more you give the better the turnout. You wont know exactly what youll get till down the line but if youre confident in the moment then what goes around comes around.[I took after another redditor and printed this off.](http://i.imgur.com/9eIOn.png) Give it a year and see what happens. Make the best of each day. Tl:Dr: Trust your parents, build your life into something your proud of, and remember that when you apply yourself anything is possible (cheesy yes but I learned in the past year theres a truth to this).', 'Thats spinning a definition to, ""do what you love and love what you do."" Unfortunately being a guy I dont have that kind of opportunity. Short of being a bank robber, Ill be sticking with the entry level jobs for the time being lol. Yeah, most of the Excitement is waiting to thaw. And theres been a hearty amount of snow lately this year. So its not even like a ""technical"" winter where its 60 out and hasnt seen snow for 3 weeks. Its times like these I wish I owned a snowmobile... Or preferably friends with snowmobiles. Although what I really would be okay with, is an ATV with a plow. Go riding, make money, AND do it in style? Pfftt, where do I sign.Well its a pleasure to properly meet you to. It just felt silly I suppose after talking for a while to think ""oh neat, a reply from reddit person.""', 'Why does every landlord ever have to be a kleptomaniac or the staring villain from a horror movie? They either want a billion dollars to return it, or your life. However it seems you are more than ready to start swinging back, more power to ya! Did she take anything too important/crucial to everyday duties?Oh really? Im not trying to pry, but care to share why? I completely understand if you rather but I swear, Im just genuinely interested. And its not that big of a deal, but I just feels nice having fresh. Kinda like when you put fresh clean sheets on the bed, its just so relaxing.Man 3 jobs? I guess a lot has happened since we last talked! Theres the factory where you kickass, the aquarium that sells fish, I can only imagine what the third one might be. And just know that its always bumpy when you make a notable change like moving (Im sure I dont need to be telling you but sometimes its good just to hear it). Things will usually straighten out with a little elbow grease, and if they dont 9 times out of 10 youll at least know what you need to do to straighten them out. ', 'Holy crapski! Its been way too long and Im sorry about it. But with the Holidays, school, and work, it felt like I was on a treadmill that just stopped yesterday. How were your Holidays? I hope the move went(?) smoothly and the fish have settled in. And hows the job going, get that promotion yet?Its the new year and Im one of *those* people, the whole fresh start and what not, so while I normally I would go through and pick up the conversation where it left off, if its okay with you I rather start anew. Not saying I dont want talk about those things, but I just need a new beginning you know? I usually pour myself into the year, so come Thanksgiving is when I kind of auto-pilot my way through whats left of the year from pretty much complete social, physical, and mental exhaustion. I promise our correspondences wont die out and now that things have slowed down a little more for me, I wont take months to reply.  And while unfortunately I still have work in the morning, but Ive felt terrible knowing I just didnt have the time to sit-down and write a reply you deserve. So this is me just getting the ball rolling and we can take it from here. ', 'Ha, happy cake day. I see I choose a good day to get back to you. I wish I could say Ive done something productive but all Ive really done outside my normal routine is sleep. Just so Tired of people, bullshit, people and their bullshit. Hell Im even getting Tired of myself a little bit. Anywho.Hows the whole 54528 jobs, 3 distinct hobbies, and finding time to rest working out?', 'It would be kind of funny if you turn out to be the next emperor or supreme chancellor or whatever Canada has. Prime Minister I think? Personally I feel Supreme Overlord Chancellor of Canada has a better ring to it. Perhaps thatll be your first order as business. Good thing we still have 6 more weeks of winter... yay... Although Im finally going snowmobiling next Asthenia so thats exciting. Have you gone/any tips for someone whos never gone before? My friend has a few times but its always good to have multiple input.', 'Ha, alas Im not mentally mature enough (or desperate) just yet. Although it would certainly be an interesting piece to include, or potentially leave out, on the resume lol. There are times i just want to go out and shovel the paths myself. I have no problem with the Common cold, but the trails are so iced up they cant be traversed. Although I saw these badass cleats you could buy for your shoes. Just slide and tighten them over the toe and ankle and shazaam: you got 3"" spikes on your feet. I can only imagine what its like to get kicked by them. Exactly, conversation can be apreactive a little more if you can appreciate the aspects of said pperson. Name included.', 'Ha nice, petty revenge at its finest. While still it sucks you lost some stuff its always satisfactory to get the last laugh. Dont worry about the small reply. Working 3 jobs and putting up with lifes daily crap will tire even the best out. I much rather see you take time to catch up on sleep or take a mental health day. We all need to spend a weekend every now and again just doing what makes us happy. Whether that be reading and watching fish for a day, or arctic survival hiking trip.Seriously though, dont try and just shrug Stress off. One moment you think its well managed and you got it easily under control, next day things are looking a little grim as every little problem becomes a problem.   I have a lot more free time so if you ever want to just talk in a pinch, or just vent everything off from big issues to little problems. Odds are Ill be around.', 'Its comforting to see Im not the only one who sees things this way. That knowing youre conducting your train right off a cliff, and theres not too much you can do about it. Although its kind of ironic. When it comes down to it, I love money. Perhaps its just because of the freedoms it grants. But really all the money I earned would go towards an early retirement fund, just so I wouldnt have to worry about working pointlessly anymore. Just kick back, and do what I want when I want with my friends. None of that ""oh I cant, pulling a double this Friday"", shit.I go hiking fairly often, I love the fall scenery from atop of a mountain. Being outside, fresh air, etc. Comparatively to the wilderness, Ive lived a pampered life. I dont know a damn thing about any kind of survival/wilderness training (nothing on traps, shelters or even fishing). Ill admit Im happy now, Im content in a way. But it has to end eventually, and while my life isnt at the grinding away point yet theres nothing to say it wont in that 5-6 year time. I dont know. Im not drunk so its not like I cant these thoughts off as just the alcohol. And while I may not be physically on the verge, Ive more or less come to terms with it mentally. Id like to keep talking, thats for sure. And Im flattered by your offer regardless of how actually serious it is, Im one of those its the though that counts kind of guys.  I understand if youve had a change heart, it appears we dont exactly line up like a puzzle pieces. Although Id confidently say youre right, we agree our money obsessed society is by no definition a complete pleasant one.One more thing... Plastic sheets? Seriously? Just when you think its gotten bad enough, our bedding is starting to be made of plastic. Talk about reinforcing the ideal that were all just dolls being used.', 'Well thats relieving to hear, Im always in the market to meet and talk to new people. Im sorry to hear most of your high school friends have departed. As an only child I treat my friends in the close group we have now as my brothers and sisters, I can understand how much it sucks to not be able to see them everyday. Which I suppose Ill be in the same boat as you once we graduate midnext year, everyones kind of floating down their own rivers.Canada has some pretty awesome wild-life and nature sites. Maybe what you should do is next time you have an extended leave (which I hope youre allotted) you should plan an extended camping trip. Or a multi-destination hike? I bet within some parts thered be minimal light pollution and the night sky would be gorgeous. It feels like youre stuck in the mud kind of? And even when you do get free you dont know which road it is you should go down? And the more you idle the more you sink. Maybe what you should do is, since (Im going out on a leap of faith here) you clearly love to be outside and in the wilderness is do just that. Save up for a while, buy what gear you need and just take hell even a month to do and be where you love to be. If you like it, and things are working out then so be it! Wow, I feel really stupid now. When you said cotton at first my mind latched onto the idea that you were talking about sheets and like pillow cases. Although plastic money sounds equally obnoxious. Its certainly a form of motivation to keep better track of it thoughxP.', 'Oof, movings always a Pain. And by the way you worded it sounds like your next exactly moving up and over. As the saying goes, you cannot have beauty without Pain. And I can see how Japan is certainly a beautiful culture. Gotta love dem cherry blossoms right? I cant say Im entirely familiar with any native Japanese citizens or visited, but Ill take your word theyre fun and more so full of life. It makes sense considering the values theyve been raised on. And of course, the bads going to show up anyway so theres no point in giving it more attention then it deserves. Im sure youve probably heard this enough times, but Im sincerely sorry that you didnt have a close relationship with your mom. That sucks a lot and my heart goes out to you. If its any consolation, you seem like an awesome person in the end of it all.It must be a Canadian thing. Ive traveled up and down the East Coast more or less for the past year and Ive never heard of them till now. Or Im just not in touch with the fish market well enough. Howd you get into this whole fish scene anywho? I just dont hear of many people say ""Today marks the beginning of my own personal Fish-collection.""Why not right? I mean plenty other of people have stupider books on stupider topics that sold a plenty. Not saying your book would be Stupid but hell if theyve done it why not you too right? And Im sure theres plenty to eat asides from shrubs. Like twig & caterpillar sandwichs on maple bark. Mhhm. Oh god, a swollen/rashy ass. That just made the list of worst fears. Ill be sure to consult my doctor before abandoning modern society.I think tonight Im more incline to agree that classic Peppercorns will be the better way to go. That night I was just feeling lemony. I have flavor swings, go figure. I agree, it would just take me sometime to get use to letting go. I find it hard to be wasteful of that 2c, only where Id be subconsciously adding it up and like 2 times a Asthenia it would dawn on me. ""Bet you wish you had that $2.15 for lunch now dont you?"" And yes, I have a love-hate relationship with auto-correct. Damn, both? You have the envy of every middle class worker. ', 'Hey there guy, I know Im clocking in a little behind here but I hope its not too late pal.Im going to tell you a little story, I hope you dont mind. A few weeks ago I walked out into the woods with a gun and planned on doing the same-thing. I was Tired. I was Tired of people, bullshit, people and their bullshit. Fuck, I was Tired of myself. So fuck it right? Fuck you world Ill get the last laugh.But then I ended up reading a comment by another user. > ""You dont ever hear Man, Im so glad theycommitted suicide. "" So think about this, think about all your friends and family. Im not trying to guilt you, but ultimately *no-one* wants to see you do the deed.  I know it sucks. I still cant get my head off this one girl I know. Shes just so awesome but doesnt want much to do with me. But friend it just isnt worth it. Please, what will I have to do to prove it to you?', 'Very nice, some quality penmenship there. Stay at it on behalf of us who cant get those awesome reminder tattoos. ', 'Ill write a proper reply later, but its thanksgiving here and in the states. So one of the things Im thankful for is just having someone I can just talk to and vent away with. So thank you. ', 'I have the same problem.. Every time it happens I usually drop whatever Im doing and head straight  public.place without any instruments. Whether thats a library, family room, Xbox with friends their dorm. Then just ride out the wave for however long it last. Thats worked for me so far, although that isnt a permenant solution.', 'Alright, if I was every person that carelessly left every small detail out of place what would you tell me right now? Go ahead, just whatever comes to mind. Whether its a good verbal scolding or whatever, just have at it.No one in their right mind should enjoy feeling like a blob on society, thats what makes taking a day or vacation off so hard. Although its also whats suppose to make life so easy. Or so the theory is anyway.', 'The biggest problem is I dont know what I want love to do. I have fun all the time, but Ive yet to really find that one thing Im utmost passionate about. But like you said, I am going to spend the next year or so figuring that out. And youre right, it sucks that the things youre good at are things you want almost nothing to do with. But the money thing, it wasnt until I got a job about 6 months (in a well respected restaurant) that I could start buying things that I simply *wanted.* And it didnt take months of saving to earn up to it, I just go out and say ""Man thats cool, Ill take 2."" I dont want a rich life, I just want a content life that isnt restricted 80% of the time by money.Its just I dont want to dig myself into a hole, and know the entire time Im doing it. ', 'Theres a dangerous amount of money people are willing to spend on subscriptions and stuff like that. Makes me jealous in the sense that, I wish I had money to just throw around like that and live an easy life. Its almost like waitressing during the holidays, but year round. But if you ask me, people need to get outside more. Theres a lot of cool persons out in the world if you take the time to meet them. But of course that implies venturing forth into the great wide yonder that is the outside. Which granted figure the worst a person will do is tell you to get lost, it doesnt seem all that bad. But Im sure someone would argue that point with me. Oh well, to each their own I suppose. This kind of just dawned on me, but weve been talking for a few months now and I realized we dont exactly each others names. Mines clearly joe(y) [and no Im not really angry]. I totally understand if you rather not share but I can say I am genuinely curious as to what it is. ', 'Thanks man, is your username Japanese by any chance?', 'Im really sorry to hear it sounds like youre getting kicked while your down. No one deserves to have that much on their plate at any given time. And the fact youre managing all the duties single handily, thats worthy of a noble prize. But think of it like this, me being the enternal optimist that I (which will one day be my demise); Take a step back, and just look at everything you are paying 100% for. Be proud of every problem thats been resolved for now, because *no one* can take credit for that but you. You have entitled bragging rights that youre solving problems when no one else is. Savor those victories and let them motivate you to earn another. (I know Im a terrible pep-talkist so just pretend thats 10x better then it actually is).', 'Second job, now thats taking some initiative! I hope your Aquariam store interview goes well, I mean for filler work it certainly sounds like youd be happy there. And it just seems like no matter what I did, shit just wouldnt get done or if it did get done, something bad would happen thus ruining it. Today for example; I get my check and plan on going home to treat myself to a computer game Ive been planning on buying, and I get in a car accident. Its not even my fault and no one was Pain fortunately, but my car has since been towed just in time for winter. Not like I needed it or anything. The worse part was while I was waiting for the paper work to get cleared up, this stupid business owner forced my friend who was giving me a ride out of the parking lot because she has so many customers that need to freely go in and out. Granted all he had to was move out to the street, but its just pointless bullshit that ruffles my feathers. It was completely uncalled for, and I think thats upsetting me more then my destroyed rear-end. Sorry to just dump that on you but I felt like if I didnt get it out it might cause an Ulcer or something stupid like that.I think part of the problem, asides from the fact Ive been extraordinarily bias, is that I havent found good sushi. Granted I havent tried any on the basis I havent had the right opportunity, which kind of turned into me avoiding the opportunities. Granted however I would jump at a steak, terryaki sauce and green onion sushi roll. The avoocado and cumcumber sounds good, I might pass on the eel though... What does an eel taste/feel like anyway? Is it the black slimely mealy sterotype I have in my head or something completely different?But the data caps! OH god the data caps! Its bad enough on my phone, I cant imagine being restricted on my PC too. Then again maybe I would do more if I knew there was less to do within the comforts of this amazingly comfy chair.. Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Its okay youre not a bad canadian, as long as you say sorry more then you need to then youre all set. I mean it wouldnt Pain to *pretend* to like hockey, but personally I can over look itxP. And to be fair, who doesnt love Cider? Cider is the best. Man all this talk of fish almost makes me want one, but I have enough trouble with my dog. I dont think I could handle all the Excitement (and responsibility) that an assorted amount of fish could bring. Would you say that the personality in fish are really brought out in groups, or even if alone you can pickup on it if you pay attention enough?Damn, these guys are like the Walmart of pets. I could see how easy it would be to get into fish or any kind of animal when you have one these 10 minutes away. Its super easy, like really its just Ketchup, White Vinegar, Oregano, Basil, Italian Seasonings, garlic powder, and few other spices. Thats really the base more or less for any BBQ (well any BBQ I make.). I caught a glimpse of it when I was shopping and having just bought a sweet and spicy I just couldnt bring myself to get it. Soon though, Ill be sure to tell you of my findings. Clearly their should be laws and regulations regarding proper placement of vending machines. That way if they break in a secluded area you can charge extra to compensate? Im skeptical not a lawyer xP ', 'Sorry about the extreme belated reply. Felt like this Asthenia I climbing up mud, no matter how hard I tried I just couldnt gain any ground. Tasty? Japan? Raw fish, or any fish for that matter is by no definition tasty. Taste like ocean, uncooked salty ocean. Now if only this was one the more common sterotypes associated with canada! I know I appreciate it more when I think ""Sassy black fish"" rather then ""maple leaf"" & ""limited internet."" I werent aware fish were that smart so to speak? Do they follow specifically you or just any ol blob by their tank? And I could see myself watching fish for a while. With a book and a cup of coffee, especially during winter as the Common cold starts to set in. Doesnt get much more relaxing.Or maybe not entirely experience, maybe just a broader imagination?  Perhaps write a series of fiction survival stories? I adore Sweet Baby Rays! I usually make my own BBQ sauce, but when Im just doing something Sharp Pain like burgers or something I love their Sweet & Spice. Although Ive been meaning to try their Vadalion Onion(?). I am, its more so a curse. Its like theres an accounting department in part of my head dedicated solely to the amount of money I *have* saved, and the amount of money I *could* of saved. Speaking of which, think of the monopoly you could hold! You could buy up all the Sodas, then resell them at $1.50 and make massive profit and retire early!', 'Thats Tired generous and supporting of you. To take up a low end job so you guys can still be together while he continues his studies. The modern day love story if Ive ever heard it. Do you like working/fixing large pieces of equipment? Or is size regardless and its just mechanical things in general? What you should do is ask for a certificate or something of their appreaction for you. Then if enough time passes without anything go and bitchem out. Squeaky wheels are either replaced or oiled. If they do replace you then youll have aforememtioned certificate to back your hardworking nature.A couple of us were talking about getting an apartment together, but that was before I had my change of heart. It just if sucks thinking that Im going to be commandeering my ship all myself. Hell even tonight they made plans with literally everyone in the group but me. They tried to hide it, but they even invited someone as I literally sat next them. It just really came as a low blow at the given time. Im sorry for the way it sounds like your friends kind of crumbled.Its funny, every time I think of a community or person living in the wild, I never once picture them with walls. I love walls personally. Their notion of safety, and protection and home. It sucks they becams outdated as time went by. Although I might be bias because there isnt too much about those eras I dont love. The thought of being a traveling merchant, peddling goods from town to town across beautiful countryside. I personally find nothing more appealing.The true self sufficient lifestyle is for sure the simpler one. And by simple I mean less complicated/clear cut. Everyone does their part and it works like well a society truly should work. Everyone takes care of one another without expecting anything specific in return. Hey, never under estimate a potato. They arent called  sneaky starches for nothing. And think of all the new practical uses your money has. Now you can use it as a coaster and look ever so slightly less jerky.', 'Maybe you could look into becoming a regional mechanic for them? I dont know how large exactly the company it is your work for, but if they have multiple plants that break down equally as often it sounds like they could really use someone like you to either train staff to do it properly or just do it yourself. I can vouch hes smarter then me, anymore form of math or science really just kind of hits me like a wall so more power to him if he can understand it all. What do you think youll want to go to school for? You clearly have several distinct avenues you could pursue. Its not even that were drifting apart at this moment that sucks. I didnt even really want to go, but its still nice to be invited. And yeah I suppose youre right, and had I gone I wouldnt of spent the time talking to you. And its not entirely a bad thing you dont keep in touch with people, as long you enjoy the conversations in the moment then thats what really matters. Is this specifically a fish-store? I find it odd a business surviving purely of revenue of fish sale. And what kind of fish do they have/your favorite?Ha yes unfortunately my dreams are just a tad bit outdated. The modern-age has updated all those types of jobs. And it seems like youve really got this all planned out. How long has this idea been shuffling around in your head? I mean youve got everything from general basics to fine tooth details. There are things that wouldnt even cross my mind that youve got covered like the back of your hand (which is why I never once, or will consider at this time, doing something like this on my own). Maybe you could go to school for survival/wilderness know-how. And start courses of your own? Once youve met enough people that would also be interested your idea, give it a whirl. Potatoes are most certainly tasty. Boiled potatoes with some goat cheese melted down ontop? Amazing. Right, I forgot Canadians are known for theyre apologies. And how could you have phased out the penny?! Theyre so awesome, I mean you only need 100 for a dollar. Ask anyone ""Hey can I have that penny?"", 100 times and BAAM you got a dollar. Thats not even counting all the ones on the ground. ', 'Ha yes I love books as a matter of fact. Sorry I didnt get back sooner, was busy the past 2 days.If youre working for Magna you definitely have room for improvement. I sincerely hope youre pushing for those opportunities, if theres anything Ive learned so far is that if you dont push and take it odds are someone else will. You certainly have quite the diversified personality. The English teaching one sounds pretty interesting actually, something I wasnt aware of. I mean it makes sense and all, jus something that never quite dawned on me. Its almost something I might briefly look into. Ive always wanted to travel and live somewhere outside the U.S., and while Swedens my first choice I have nothing against Japan.Im sorry you had to cut your mom out. Friends and acquintances are one thing, but assuming you had (have?) a decent relationship with your mom then it must of been uncomprehendingly hard. Itd probably be the hardest I would do, but we all gotta do what we gotta do right?Fish store? Bah, more like Fish Emporium! I was picturing some Mom & Pop style store, not petting-zoo aquarium. I can definitely see how theyre staying so busy with an operation like that. I cant imagine theres too many competitors in that business. Clown fish are pretty fantastic, and what exactly is a Mexican Turbo snail? It seems like an oxy-moron if you ask me. Also how many baby-clown fish will they make? Im not exactly caught up to date with whats an average number of fish babies. What brought on this love of fish?Damn, since 3 huh. Sounds like it really, traces back to your roots. If youre really feeling exotic, you could become all Canadian special forces and rewrite the survival manual. Yeah the book would probably come in handy. Odds are Id be dead in the first 5 hours from my leaf and root sandwich. And yeah the whole bathroom ordeal is a debate in itself. Ive always swore up and down that even if I were to live in a cardboard box, Id be wiping with the fluffy stuff. Although I assume I could just fold some leaves together, rub some aloe on them, and viola! Mashed potatoes are a true classic. I like the green onion idea, I bet itd go great with a little bit of garlic. And instead of black or white pepper, use a lemon pepper and maybe coarse grain sea salt. Now thats eating on a budget. I wonder where the term Taters originates from? I was first thinking Irish, those spud-freaks them, but it has a certain southern/country flair to it. Oh ok, so when you go to pay for an item depending on your method payment will decide if the cost is rounded? I can already see myself becoming frustrated over the fact I had to use my bank card and lost out on the chance to save 2 cents. And a .75C vending machine? I thought those were all but instinct! Is it a coke or pepsi one?', 'Thanks I really found what you said to be encouraging, especially the tibit of giving your arms sunlight whenever. I wish it wasnt as Common cold so I could start to as well haha. But really the problem isnt knowing the reasons why I dont want to. I know them all, there whats gotten me this far. Im struggling wit",Supportive
user-77,"['Then lets explore that, because self-hate isnt a simple thing. Ive been there, I really have, and its awful, but you need to look at why you hate yourself so that you can begin to deal with it.Its not always that we need to change, but that we need to change our perceptions of ourselves, you know?', 'And still a human being.Inciting suicide is tantamount to murder.', 'Ive recently passed 1 year clean, and its still in my head every single day. I know exactly how you feel, and it completely fucking sucks that its always there, and youre always thinking about and wanting to do it.Id suggest the elastic band/tight hair band thing - snapping it on my arms always helps (but careful not to do it too hard and too much in one place, as it leaves these marks that can stay there for well over a day). The only problem is that the Pain is short lived. Like, cuts are Pain when you cut, and then for quite a while afterwards, but Pain from the rubber bands/hair bands fades too quickly, so you have to do it more often. ', 'Why is that? Im not doubting you or your judgement, but I would like to hear more, Id like to know why you feel this is the case.', 'Im really sorry to hear youve lost family members and had all of these problems. Its really easy for this stuff to stack up and get on top of you, so its important that youre able to talk about it to deal with it all. Its awful that youve lost the person who has helped you through so much, it really is, but it isnt the end. You can deal with this stuff, suicide isnt your only option.Firstly, is there anyone else you can turn to? I ask, because obviously, finding a new confidante would be a great way to help you get back on track. Now, if you dont think theres anyone you can turn to, have you considered seeking professional help? It gets suggested often because it really does help to have someone just listen to you, and give input when you need it. Therapists can help guide you through your problems in a way that sometimes even close friends cant.It may also help to bring something new into your life, to focus yourself on. Its not going to solve anything, but it will really help take your mind off of things so that it doesnt seem so much.', 'Yes, I definitely prefer to do it slow, even if emotionally Im a wreck at the time, going slow is always better. Im always wary of depth, especially since I used to cut mostly on the insides of my thighs, because I dont want to knick a vein or artery; suicide isnt my goal.I cut deeper than I used to, but thats because with experience has come a greater awareness of the maximum depth I should cut to. I dont want excessive Bleeding, because anything that might create too high of a risk of Infection or become problematic in some other way would mean going to the doctors/hospital - something I must avoid at all costs.', 'See, the reason threads like this dont get much attention is because it feels impersonal, like youre just saying Im the problem solver! Let me solve all the problems!.If you really want to help, then try and make sure nobody is left hanging; nobody on here should go unanswered. If you read someones post, and feel like you can help, then absolutely go for it. Your effort is admirable, it really is, but this probably isnt the best way for you to help out.', 'You deserve a lot better than the lot youve got, but I promise that if you just hang in there, things are going to look up for you.I know others have said their inboxs are open if you need to talk, and obviously you can post here whenever you need help/advice, but just PM if you feel you need to, Im always listening.', 'Were not here to judge, or to tell you to stop. I know how it helps to make you feel, but just make sure you take care of yourself. If you do want to try and stop, then places like /r/StopSelfHarm and /r/depression can be excellent resources and communities. Its always easier to stop anything when you have support from others. ', 'OP, have you considered that a lot of us dont want to stop? That it works for us? That were safe?Ive been raised inside a family filled with nurses, so safety has been drilled into me since... ever. Im careful not to cut where there may be exposed arteries, and I clean every single wound - if it causes too much Bleeding or gets infected, that means a trip to the hospital and unwanted exposure, so Id bet the vast majority of us are safe.And fyi, self-harm is suicide prevention.', 'Ill reply all night if you want me to. You deserve a life, a good one, and if you hang in there, you can have one.', '> and water Common cold water, not warm. Definitely do not use warm water to clean out the blood. ', '> heart basically stopped.I know that feeling.You think someone is about to discover your SH, and your stomach just drops and this pit opens up inside you. Its the fucking worst feeling.', 'Yeah, Im kinda confused as to why s/he chose to restrict this to one country....', 'Shame usually led me to.throw them away, but Id usually use them a few times. I keep the last blades I used symbolically - but if I relapse then yup, frenzy of trying to pull the blades off my razor again. I almost relapsed a month ago - closest Id been since stopping - after I was robbed and had all my valuables stolen, and the only thing that stopped by was that I couldnt get the damn blade off my razor. Gave me time to calm down a bit, and think about what I was about to do. ', 'Ive been in the situation where someone who was suicidal, who I was talking to, had been making really big improvements in his life and taking some really positive steps, suddenly regressed and set a date for his suicide. I became extremely concerned, and there was nothing I could do to sway him. I tried to subtlety gather information so I could get him help. He needed it, and I couldnt do anything more via skype. He stopped talking to me before I could gather enough info to do anything, but it was before the date he set to kill himself.When its a choice between someone dying, and getting someone into a place where they cant Pain themselves and could potentially get the help they need - most of us will choose the latter. Im sorry that it was a horrible experience, but you cannot expect people to stand aside and let you die. Obtaining permission to contact people is ideal, but sometimes its not possible without endangering your efforts to stop them killing themselves. ', 'Its because of my level of awareness that I feel comfortable using it as a coping mechanism.When Ive considered suicide, usually at the peak of Emotional upset distress, Ive made myself calm down and think Is this the logical decision?, as in, is this absolutely the right decision that has been thought through, or am I experiencing heightened Emotional upset Pressure? Its the same kind of thing with cutting. I know many people here feel it controls them, but I most certainly dont. Im making a conscious choice, in the same way I do if I decide not to eat for a day or decide not to leave my bed for however long etc. It isnt my sole coping mechanism, its one of many. I can, and do, control myself. I know what can happen, but I also know what happens when I lose control; I close in on suicide again. I will not always be able to stop myself, and these coping mechanisms help prevent me from reaching a mental state where I have to.And I promise you; nobody is affected other than me.', 'I just use razor blades, and cut my thighs. I normally only do two or three cuts at one time, although sometimes it may be double that (three on each thigh, for example). I guess its the most common method because its the easiest. I have a ton of razor blades for shaving anyway.', 'Its not weakness; you opened yourself up to someone, gave yourself to them - that takes more bravery than a lot of people can muster. Unfortunately, it hasnt worked out for you as you planned.But I really hope that you come to realise that this is so far from the end... The Pain fades, albeit after much Emotional upset Pain and longing for what you thought could have been, but it does fade. Im not telling you to let go, but I do believe wholeheartedly that youll find your way back from the wilderness youre in because of what youre going through. Hang in there, yeah?', 'Okay, calm down, take a deep breath, and lets think about this.Are you sure theres no place for you to go? Nobody you can stay with for just a while? Youre not alone, youre reaching out for help, and there are always people online who will help if they can. If you really cant find anywhere to stay, Id suggest going to [/r/askreddit](/r/askreddit) or something similar, as theyll either help you directly or point you in the direction of a subreddit that can.This is a temporary situation, and we cant let them get the best of us. Try to remain calm and collect yourself, because youre going to have to keep focused to get past this tough time, but you will if you reach out, which youre doing.', 'Im always a bit fearful about my blades being discovered :/ But your boyfriend sounds pretty great about it, so take solace in that at the Tired least?', 'In the UK you literally cant buy enough ibuprofen or paracetamol to overdose on from any one place. Youd have to go to more than one shop, and even then, theyre all individually wrapped so it would take ages to try and overdose. ', 'Ive been guilty of giving advice on cleaning wounds, so I apologise. I base it on my experience, and coming from a nursing family, where I kind of just know how to treat minor wounds and ailments because I was raised that way - its like common sense for me, but youre absolutely right, it Falls under giving medical advice. ', 'No... I dont think thats a fair comment to make. The people most likely to respond to your post are the ones who think the same as you.I wasnt going to respond, but I saw this comment and felt obliged to point out that I certainly dont hate people, and I dont gate being touched, and I enjoy the company of others more than anything in the world.', 'That is not even remotely similar. ', 'Asking for help is failing; its bravery.Often, the hardest thing we can bring ourselves to do is admit that we cant cope, that things are too much, and that we need help. And its brave. Youre brave.Im really sorry that your mother was abusive, that must have been horrible. My parents also got divorced (when I was 7), and although my father wasnt really abusive, he did hate me whilst simultaneously adoring my brothers. Im telling you this because I want you to know that youre not alone, and that feeling of Numbness can be brought on by so many things, and there isnt any one way to deal with it.But taking your own life isnt the solution. You may not be able to think of a reason why you want to live right now, but that doesnt mean there isnt one. It sounds to me like you need to talk, to feel again. If youre able, a professional to listen to you is just about the most liberating experience, and it could really help you reconnect with the world. Youll have an outlet for that anger, and someone who really will listen to you, and remember that nothing you say is pathetic, it means something to you, so it means something, and its important.I cant really suggest any particular outlets other than finding something for you to focus on. It could be something as simple as a sport or hobby, but could also be helping out at a charity or other type of project. Anything that gives you some direction and focus will help you see that theres so much to live for, and so much to look forward to. ', 'Lifelong Eczema sufferer here; cocoa butter cream is what youre looking for OP.To date, no other cream has soothed Itching as much as cocoa butter. It has the added benefit of helping to make scars fade if applied over longer periods of time. If youve already itched a lot and it has become inflamed, then you want to take cetirizine antihistamines (just one).NOTE: Ask at the chemist to double check with the antihistamines. Im giving you this advice based on 22 years of medical history solving chronic Itching. ', 'This is my feelings exactly. This might sound harsh, but the posts soliciting PMs and Im here to help!! always seems a little superficial to me :/ And highly ineffective. I absolutely hate seeing posts unanswered, because having been there myself, to put yourself on the line and be ignored... its shattering... It should always be a priority to make sure nobody goes unanswered, so that they know theyre heard at the Tired least.', 'I think thats up to you. When I get to my absolute limit, and feel ike Im going to snap and break my clean streak, I snap the rubber band on my wrist until I calm down. I still consider myself clean, because Im not cutting, and for me thats the goal. ', '> In my state its perfectly legal to shoot and kill someone to prevent an imminent rape of oneself or a third partyAnd in my country, thats illegal. In fact, if you were shot by a civilian whilst committing a crime, youd have a feasible case to sue them. Above and beyond every arbitrary law, there are human rights, rights we all have access to at all times, the most fundamental of which being the right to life.', 'I know you probably know this - but its people thinking they can apply the ""it gets better"" to depressed/self harming/suicidal people. Its been covered a lot in /r/SuicideWatch. But that campaign specifically pertains to LGBT people, and LGBT specific issues. ', 'At 14, I had a similar problem. My circumstances were different in that self-loathing about my sexuality led to self-destructive behaviour and attitude, but I was in the same rut youre in now.How your life looks at 14 doesnt reflect the outstanding person youre going to become. Youre going to find your calling in life, whether in 2 years or 10, and from that youll make your own way totally independent of your siblings; people will stop comparing you to them because youll be your own person with your own life. Youre going to have new experiences and meet tons of new people, and youre going to hate some of them, but youre also gonna hit it off with others, because thats just how it works. Things might look shitty now, because you have the unfortunate luck of being stuck in a place where people dont appreciate you for who *you* are; for that Im truly sorry, but you know what? Youre gonna climb out of that dump and youre gonna start finding out who you are, and meet others who do love and appreciate you no matter what.What youre going through now is awful, and it may seem like its going to go on forever - but all of this is going to end, and youre going to be awesome. So frickin awesome. ', 'Always clean them. Always. If you dont then you risk infection, which means Tired bad trip to the doctors or worse - the hospital.I used stuff called TCP, a fantastic multipurpose antiseptic. You can apply it with toilet paper, but its much better to apply it with specialised medical gauze. If youre looking to not raise suspicion from people you live with, then just use elastoplasts (also known as band-aids) to cover the wounds once youve cleaned them thoroughly. ', 'Hey, I dont know what has lead you to this, but would you mind talking about it? Whats happening in your life to make you feel like this is the only option?', 'Starvation isnt self harm, starvation would be more akin to attempted suicide. Self harm prevents us from doing anything worse; cuts, burns, Contusion - they mean we dont kill ourselves, and were able to cope. Starvation is a direct threat to your life. If youre feeling like you need to starve yourself, then please see a therapist/councillor or doctor. ', 'Hey, lets talk about this. Whats on your mind?', 'Well if you feel that his work is a visual representation of what youre going through, then Id imagine it would terrify you, as I know it would me. Think of it like The Picture of Dorian Gray. ', 'Well, I dont really find that to be an issue...', 'Dude. **Rule number 1** for SH is *always* keep your wounds clean. *Always*. Infections means questions. Always have a bottle of TCP to treat wounds afterwards, including burns (though sudocrem would be better suited to burns).', 'First off, hi. Youre absolutely right that writing it out helps, because it lets you take everything thats swirling around in your head and arrange it cohesively, where its easier to understand. Reading your first paragraph was like reading some of the things Ive written myself before; when Im feeling particularly... down... I write down what Im feeling. Everything. All of it. So you writing this out is a great start, Id say.Try not to think so much about what others will think about you; the most important thing is what you think of you. We dont always like what we see, because were overly critical of ourselves, but also often blinded by negative emotion. Try not to doubt yourself so much; I know, easier said than done right? But thats probably where youre going to have to start, because until you see that youre an intelligent, beautiful, loving person, then youll struggle to realise your ambitions. You feel like theres no job prospects for you, and I dont know what youre field is or what jobs you hope to get, but as someone in a field of slim chances, I can tell you not to let that get to you. You got into your field for a reason, now let that reason guide your ambition.Things are going to get better for you, because youve hit a low, so the only place you can go is up, and you most certainly will if you give yourself the chance.', 'I wish I could help. I was always afraid my last boyfriend would see my scars (also mostly on my thighs), but I managed to keep them secret.If youre super uncomfortable with people seeing them when theyre exposed and commenting, then tell them first? Lie, if you have to, and say theyre from something else - either way, it would stop unwanted questions. I know from past experience that I just cannot deal with questions.', 'Thanks. I always downvote them because it makes me feel uncomfortable to have them here, like there are people reading through our posts to pry and study us like test subjects. ', 'Hey, I just wanted to link you to this:http://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/wiki/index#wiki_how_do_i_care_for_burns.3FIts from the wiki, and it will give you accurate advice for treating burns. Always remember to treat your wounds; if can seriously impact your health not to, and trips to the doctors or hospital for not treating it could mean sudden exposure to friends and family about your SH. ', 'If you love them, and they love you, then thats a great start :)What exactly is making you feel like you need to end your life?', 'Then maybe find something outside of your norm, something new to invest yourself in? Finding self-worth isnt always easy, but finding something that gives meaning to your life can be a great thing. You have art; thats absolutely brilliant! Art is an amazing medium of expression, so expand into that area - visit art galleries, talk with other artists on reddit and in real life, look for community art societies and projects.I have to apologise here, but its 2am, and I really cant stay up any longer tonight, but PM me and we can keep talking tomorrow, okay?', 'I think its a perfectly acceptable coping mechanism so long as, as you stated, youre controlling it. As a means of dealing with overly strong emotions/experiences, it beats out pretty much everything else; its easier, quick, and doesnt have many adverse affects - as long as you can keep control. Controlled self-injury means, for me, a life without excessive Stress and a life where I can deal with all the shit I have on my plate. Its worked for 2 years, and Ill probably need it for a few years more, but I know that I can stop if I need to, Im careful when I cut (and obviously always clean the cuts... if it gets infected then Id have to go to the doctors and explain it), and although Im not ashamed per se, I do find that its best not to tell other because they may not understand it.It will be seen by others in the light of loss of control and total inability to deal with things, when I feel its quite the opposite. So yeah, as long as youre in control, keep doing it, but if you feel like its taking over, like its an addiction or always your first port of call whilst the cuts get deeper and deeper and more frequent, then maybe its time to scale things back.', 'Our futures often turn out differently to how we imagined, but thats alright.Dont feel like you need to rush anything, because Emotional upset Pain can last for a long time - do things in your own time frame. Just try to deal with your emotions, and not dwell too much on what could have been, youll be okay :)', 'I know what you mean. And it can come on just all of a sudden. I try to not be a pushy anti-SH person, but Im doing pretty well not cutting (not cut since February), and hope my titbits can help others, maybe. But yeah, evenings are the worst for me. I really struggle some nights, and end up needing my elastic band.... a lot. ', 'I think this is better placed in [/r/StopSelfHarm](/r/StopSelfHarm)?Its just that not all of us want to stop or have any intention of stopping.', 'I dont want you to die.When you look at life through shit stained glass, then sure, its gonna look shit, but life can and will get better for you. Youre at university yeah? Well, I can speak from experience when I say Societies are a great way to find a new direction or purpose, and certainly a great way to meet new people and friends. What do you enjoy? Because theres something for everything, thats the great thing about university.As a gay guy, I can empathise with the position youre in with your mother. You say she would be destroyed, but shes your mother, and chances are, shell still love you. If she doesnt, and/or you are rejected by the rest of your family, then I can tell you that this isnt the end of the world, and you can move forwards.And thats what I think you need most, a direction in life. I cant tell you what to do, but I can tell you that finding yourself a new purpose is something that can be really life changing. If you cant find something through university, look around your local community, is there a project or program that you think you could take part in? Its gonna require you to be more proactive, but I promise you it will give you a new gusto and really help you find where to go.Please dont kill yourself, youre my age, you have a long life ahead of you that will get better. I cant promise its always going to be easy, or that its going to get better overnight, but things are going to look up, and when they do, itll be all the sweeter because of what youve been though.', '> I feel more like it gives me a sense of relief when I feel upset, or angry.Thats exactly how it helps me, but I still feel like Im doing it, I could choose not to if I wanted, but I chose to do it because of the relief it brings.', 'No it absolutely is not a form of self harm. Im extremely disturbed that you think it is, extremely. Self harm is suicide prevention. Of coping. Take your horrible pro-suicide views to /r/suicideology where they belong, they are NOT welcome here.', 'Definitely. Youre weary, and emotionally at your most vulnerable when youre on youre own at night. Your guard is down, youve let loose, and with that comes everything... usually the negative. OP, it helps to try and be around people you love and trust when it feels like too much. You dont need to tell them how you feel or anything; just being around those kinds of people honestly helps. ', 'And thats great that he seems somewhat understanding... like you say, most people havent got a clue, and attach so much stigma and make it such a taboo... to have someone close not judge you is great :)', 'It might seem like your family hates you on the surface, but they love you, and Im certain theyd hate to see you self-loathing and hurting yourself through alcoholism. They dont hate you, theyre concerned about you, because like most families, they only want whats best for you, and seeing you Pain yourself will be upsetting to them. First things first, you need to deal with your alcoholism. Youre not going to be able to get things back on track whilst your struggling with a crippling addiction. Im no expert, but recognising that you have a problem is a great start, and you should seriously consider seeking further support in your local area (or if youre not comfortable seeking it in your local area, then somewhere outside it thats still accessible).Higher eduction isnt everyones calling; thats nothing to be ashamed of. My younger brother failed to get into university, but that wasnt the end of the road, because theres always so many other opportunities out there. Please dont give up, your family can be a great support network, and even if theyre negative towards your failings, theyll be overwhelmingly positive when you do succeed - and you will.', 'The other two responses have given far more than I could, but I just wanted to say that I know what its like writing that note, and how therapeutic I found it. Writing it out, or recording/videoing a goodbye, even when never intended for actual usage, can be so therapeutic. This isnt going to be the case for everyone, obviously, but reading what you wrote, it sounds like you needed to to make some of these pent up feelings feel.... real.I dont know if Im explaining myself, but if you found writing the note helpful, just try recording yourself speaking about how you feel. You dont have to listen to it back, or ever share it, and you can even delete it, but if youre anything like me then it might just help you make your thoughts and feelings more clear.', 'Cutting yourself is self destructive, I used to do that. Hanging yourself, taking a pill overdose, or slashing your wrists open is absolutely fucking not the same as eating a fucking burger. Or even similar to unhealthy coping mechanisms like cutting, or over eating. I dont claim we should do something when people Pain themselves. I never fucking said that so back the fuck off.I said when people try to kill themselves we intervene. Youre absolutely fucking disgusting if you want to support people killing themselves and I will not only report you to the mods for breaking sub rules but you should be reported irl for facilitating suicide. Whereas Id be trying to coax someone off the edge of a bridge, youd be screaming at me for doing so, and demanding that I let them jump. Fucking disgusting. ', 'Ive been in your situation, and it was pretty fucking hard for me to do it - but I kind of just blurted it out (and then felt light headed because she was the first person Id ever told and freaked out a bit just telling her). We were talking about coping mechanisms, and she asked me about what coping strategies Ive consciously used, and I just went for it and told her. I say I just went for it, but it took me a good 6/7 weeks between deciding I was going to tell her, and actually doing it, but it was worth it, because then she helped me deal with it, find better, positive coping strategies that ultimately helped me stop (1 year last month without cutting). So my only advice to you would be to just bring it up. I kind of took my therapist aback, since she didnt see it coming at all (shed asked if I SHd or used any substances in like our earliest sessions over a year ago at that point). But its relevant, and the only way your therapist can help you is if you tell her. Its hard, believe me I know, but to quote some lyrics: ""Suck it and bite the bullet"".', 'I remember that feeling; its weird how it feels good, isnt it? Conflicted good.Be careful, because once you start going deeper, you dont really go back. Id suggest that if you can go with scratches, stick with them. ', 'Call your local suicide hotline, and tell them that you need to go to the hospital because you think youre about to do something you dont want to; theyll call the police for you to get you immediate help, or give you details on checking yourself into a hospital.', 'Ive never experienced the rush you describe. My blades are always pried from razors, which were not bought for that purpose...', 'Just to note, self-injury can be a controlled coping mechanism as part of an array of strategies, and if you chose, you can begin to wean yourself off SI over a period of time.I think the people who feel addicted are people without other strategies, and rely solely of SI to deal with their problems and emotions.OP, if you feel strongly about continuing SI, then please do so whilst developing other strategies; have someone youre completely open to, write lyrics/poetry/stories/a novel, have a helpline number attached to your computer screen or somewhere youll definitely see, elastic band method (google it), etc. You can avoid addiction by putting yourself in control. It isnt perfect; I relapsed 2 weeks ago after 4 months without cutting, but dont come down on yourself if you do try to stop and relapse, because that makes it worse - instead try to understand why and how it happened, accept that it happened, and soldier on.', 'This is just my 2 pence... but if youre going to continue, you might want to choose less obvious places to harm.Like, I tend to cut my thighs, because they arent visible to the whole wide world. I used to do my upper arms, but that can be risky. See, if people see your injuries, youre going to get *a lot* of agro from it in the form of lots of people asking questions, over-concern, etc. And it can be really stressful and just make things worse for you.Id also suggest choosing a better means of injury, most people cut or burn, and they work pretty well. ', 'It works just fine for me. Im safe, I allow myself to cut only as a last resort or when I just cant deal with something at all. I actually receive counselling/therapy, but Ive been Tired good at keeping them in the dark about this aspect of my life. Its my thing and it works, nobody needs to know, it doesnt affect anyone; theres no reason I should stop.', 'Its an important place to start, because you cant begin to deal with anything else whilst youre struggling with alcoholism.', 'You may think youre not Tired good at videos, but I thought that was brilliantly told; Tired powerful.It Pain me to see when people become addicted to cutting... Ive always felt that Im not addicted, and have a certain degree of control... I guess its once you become addicted that it becomes a problem.', 'This has absolutely nothing to do with morals, it has to do with human rights, which supersede all moral and national laws. If you kill someone, it is murder. > affirmative defensesBullshit argument that in reality means vigilante justice. In a lot of civilised countries, police dont carry guns, guns and deadly weapons are far more difficult to obtain, and as such our crime rates are lower. Look, Im not going to debate this any more, because this is /r/suicidewatch. The rules clearly stipulate that you are **not** allowed to incite or encourage suicide. This place is for suicide prevention **only**. If youre not going to try and stop OP from committing suicide, then either stop posting or Im going to report you and request the mods ban you from the entire subreddit for consistent rule breaking.', 'Im sorry to hear that :/ Its a breach of trust on your moms part. It always hurts when someone breaches your trust, but its far worse when its someone Tired close to you. You have every right to feel angry, and annoyed, and betrayed - everything youe feeling right now is completely valid. That said, do try to take the perspective of your mom, and think about why she did what she did. Im not saying its okay, what she did was completely wrong, but you cant hold a grudge.Therapy can be really great, if you have a good therapist/counsellor. If you dont like the one youve been signed up to - for whatever reason - then you have to make that clear to your mom. But a good counsellor can really help you get your thoughts and emotions out there, and help you clear your mind. They shouldnt push you into immediately stopping - any good counsellor will recognise how important SH can be to us. So, I guess Im just saying that this might end up not being as bad as it might seem right now. But I do wish you luck, I hope you do okay in your exams and get through the therapy okay. > I just wish I could be left alone. And yet Im still posting about it on Reddit?Its different online. Here, you have a screen between you and other people, you can be alone and with others at the same time :)', 'I cut in the same place, and although I wouldnt say I take pride, Im certainly not ashamed of them anymore.I gue",Behavior
user-78,"['I really dont think its that limited.  Ive lived in 2 countries and 4 cities (3 of which were Tired large).  Ive dated many girls, but the closest I found still wasnt actually that close.  I dont support the cultures for the topics I want to participate in.  Even if my life turned around, would it really be worth the effort?  It all ends in death anyway.  Why not just skip all the shitty times?  Sure I am also skipping the good times, but I wont remember those when Im dead either.  I dont think the world cares about what I have to contribute and I base that on putting my heart and soul into my work for the last 5 years and a handful of people care about my work, but they dont care about me.It seems like everyone is in a relationship just for themselves.  In the past, my most trusted friends turned on my for some girl I dated and then things ended.  They had known me for years, her for months... they picked her over me.  I want to give a girl a lot of support.  I want to be there for her and have her there for me.  But whenever I show weakness, the girls hate it.  Its like every single girl I meet (with out exception) wants some douche bag boyfriend who doesnt take anything seriously.  Is it really that hard to ask for a decently intelligent conversation?  Why cant people handle a single moment of criticism with out feeling attacked?  Why cant people understand that instant gratification leads to failure in the long term?  Why cant people realize that fucking each other over leads to a less successful long term?  Why cant the world just fucking work together?', 'I looked through your post history, and I dont know why you do what you do, but I wish more people would do it.I struggle with day to day tasks because I cant help but immediately try and see how they play out into the future.  There are a few things I can do that help limit that.  I play the game Counter Strike it has a Tired short round based nature which means I dont really need to plan more than a few minutes ahead.The toughest part about deciding to keep going is that I have looked far enough forward to feel like its all eventually irrelevant anyway.  I know that isnt healthy or right and I can be happy here... but that just looms over everything.  Thank you.']",Indicator
user-79,"['Thanks man.', 'My pleasure, glad I could help. :)', 'Dont be so hard on yourself. I get where youre coming from to a degree. Youve done a lot of self-analysis, you feel almost meta - as if youre watching your own reactions and emotions from the outside and have an internal commentary running analysing and critiquing them.Thats how I was, anyway. Your writing strikes a chord with how I felt at the time. About 11 years ago now I suffered from Depression in a fairly major way. I didnt realise it at the time, but it was characterised by a lot of introspection, self-doubt and a lot of the thoughts Im reading from you now.Heres the thing tho - the dumber you are, the less youre aware of it. Smarter people on average have more doubts about their intelligence. So dont worry so much about your intelligence. Just use what youve got. Love doesnt come into it - you need to get happy with yourself and learn to care about yourself enough to start going after your goals. As clich\xc3\xa9 as it is, unless you love yourself, its hard for others to love you too.Achievement is like getting out of debt - you attack the small goals first and use the snowball effect to stay on a roll. Everything is muscle memory, even those exercises that are intellectual - practice makes **ALL** things easier. Theres no point going after a mountain if you havent figured out how to climb a foothill.Finally, youre young (or I assume you are, given youre studying). Things are supposed to be a little crazy in college, youre supposed to feel out of your depth - use it to feel excited and challenged. Forget the introspection and the internal monologue, if you can (I had trouble with this, it got replaced with a constant mantra of harden the fuck up) and just get out there and **do**.', 'Like any generalisation, this one simply isnt true.Uni was a bit of a horror-show for me, for different reasons than yours. I didnt date much either.It wasnt until a few years afterwards that I found the combination of a different field of work/study, a different city, different friends and *treating myself better* that I began to get comfortable with myself.Apart from the dating side of things, what else isnt working about college for you?Dont make any Rash decisions, talk it out with us first.(BTW, Im {probably} on the other side of the planet and about to hit the sack - I **will** respond tomorrow tho if you need to talk about anything.)', 'There are some assholes here just like anyone.The thing to keep in mind is that *nothing* truly insurmountable.When I was your age I was one year away from meeting the love of my life (although I thought Id met the one at least once previously) and two years from going bankrupt.She stood with me through those hard years, then the times when we made a great deal of money and then lost it all again. If she walked because of your debt, she isnt worth a nanoseconds further thought.You can make friends. You can recover from debt. You can find someone.The only thing that can stop you is to spend all your energy fixating on getting those three years back.(If I dont reply immediately, its not because I wont, Im just about to hit the sack and will reply to anything when I get up.)', 'Where in Australia is she? Do you know?A traveller committing suicide would make headlines anywhere here, particularly if they jumped. Ill keep an eye out for you.If you do get in contact with her, get her to call http://www.beyondblue.org.au/ right now.If she wont do that, then pm me and Ill talk to you about options. Hell, pm me anyway.', 'She knows.My mother and I both have this thing; We can just keep moving forward regardless of how we are feeling in and of ourselves. We dont care how we feel, we just do what needs to be done.I realise now that my understanding hasnt necessarily equated to empathy, although Ive tried to show that.Our psych team has basically abandoned us - were having a rough time financially (mainly because all this is causing major havoc of my ability to work) and cant afford to see them.So were off to the local hospital this afternoon to see their mental health unit that has community care options.', 'You said yourself the biggest problem with ending it is the Pain youd cause those who love you.Your life is a net positive.I know its hard right now. Youre Depression and that causes inaction and a feeling of circling the drain.The only cure for inaction is action, irrespective of your level of motivation. You just need the smallest erg of will to get the ball rolling.', 'Theres a few things Ill relate to here. I know what you mean - I studied to be an Opera singer and graduated from highschool in the top 8% of my country.Destined for greatness? You betcha! Try and stop me!Prickly, standoffish and superior? **In spades**.Then in my mid-20s, reality hit. I wasnt going to be a superstar. My intelligence was great for theoretical stuff, but sadly lacking for the real world - work ethics, good business sense eluded me while my sense of entitlement didnt win me any friends or help me keep any jobs.I wont get into any drug experiences in a public forum, but I know something of this too and saw many friends go under, irrevocably changed from overuse.Heres the thing tho:Youve got decades ahead of you to fix all this. Im not the person I was in my 20s, not by a long shot. Im a lot less selfish, Im pretty good with people, I have a wife and child and my own business which is doing better than I could have hoped.In my mid 20s I had an epiphany. I wont go deeply into it, because its relevant only to me and quite personal. But at its core I realised I hated the person I was. I hated the whinging and the selfishness and the standoffishness. So I simply decided not to be that person any more. The change didnt happen overnight, but the determination to change never left me.So I did. And it stuck. I cant help with the possible drug charges - you may get busted, you may not.But either way, you can choose to accept your fate and continue to suffer or you can say ""THIS WILL NOT STAND"" and change. Do the geographical cure if you have to (it doesnt always work, but its always an adventure), but *change*. Decide who you want to be and just be it.As to uni - who gives a fuck? My degree is utterly, utterly pointless. I taught myself everything I know about my own industry and business and I wound up teaching others at one of the most prestigious schools in the country. No qualifications, nothing.Itd be nice if we could all go to Harvard. We cant. If someone cares about the institution you studied at rather than the quality of your work, screw em. Make your own way in the world, dont rely on any teacher to give you the whole picture - teach *yourself* and make yourself more than the sum of your courses. Be better than everyone else. No-one can ignore skill, talent and experience.So get out of the house. Take a deep breath. Figure out what you want to do in ten years, not next year. Then live like youre going to achieve that.', 'I went bankrupt in my early 30s. I was caught in a dead-end (but Tired interesting) job with no chance of upward mobility due to the Tired, Tired flat business structure. What had been a good wage when I started became virtually unliveable in Australia even with promotions due to massive cost-of-living increases during the boom years here.My wife got pregnant in our late 30s and the job that Id moved to was going south quickly. Id made enough money in it that I was pretty much square with the few debts that werent provable in the bankruptcy.There was no way I could continue that job and have a family, not in the major capital city I was in.After working my ass off all my life, I wound up nearly 40, living in my parents garage in a tiny semi-rural beachside town with a heavily pregnant wife and no job.Three years later were still in the same town: its an awesome place to raise our two kids. I have my own business which I run from home and is starting to approach the income I was making in the big smoke - but without the exorbitant cost of living.Ive taken up a few hobbies to supplant the things that this town doesnt offer and that I miss from the city.I dont own a house and probably never will be able to afford to - even in this little town they start at about $400,000.But Ive gone from just about as low as you can possibly go in life to happy and modestly successful.The point is not to tell you that my life is better than yours. The point is that 10 years ago I was where you are - a seemingly irreconcilable web of debt, work and location. Thats all gone now and I rarely even have to Stress about money, even if we dont make a ton.Sometimes its not about fixing where you are. Sometimes you need to think a little out of the box and consider options that seem utterly outlandish but can take your life on a completely different trajectory.So who cares about the ones making the world shitty?The world is a better place with you in it, so dont let em have the satisfaction. You can make it.', 'I know someone quite well who is Tired similar to how you describe yourself. After a long association, I came to the conclusion that he had NPD.Hes 40, a multi-multi-millionaire, keeps himself in perfect shape and gets to fuck hot young babes quite frequently.Channel your energies into a business where you have to stay on the absolute top of your game and fight for every cent you earn. He loves out-maneuvering, out-witting and generally just out-lasting all who would take him on. He walks a grey line, legally, but stays just on the white side. Enough to cause him trouble he finds entertaining, diverting and challenging.And he makes a shit-ton of money from it.Or you could go tilt at other windmills. Determine a cause you think is objectively worthy and prove that your manipulations arent just amateur-hour.', 'I can never understand what youre going through. Im not a woman, Ive never experienced sexual assault.No matter what anyone says, it wasnt your fault. It doesnt matter where you were, what you were doing - theres no excuse for rape and those who perpetrate it are the lowest of the low.You need to realise that youre Depression and that you can do something about it.Everything else youve said, particularly the self-loathing and lack of motivation to do anything to make it better is all a symptom of this. I understand that **Tired** well.I spent several years extremely Depression, without knowing thats what I was going through. My flatmate was my closest friend from childhood and he never noticed. I just couldnt be bothered doing anything and hated myself and my life for what I was becoming.It turned out later that my flatmate was also Depression and sought professional help. He came out of it sooner and in better shape than I did.I didnt, but wish Id been able to recognise what was happening and get some help, even tho before that I didnt believe in therapy.Go get some help. Now. Its the starting point to fixing every other element that youre unhappy about. The Pain of rape will probably never completely go away, but everything else is fixable, you just need the motivation to *want* to fix it. Sounds like youre ready to start.']",Ideation
user-80,"['That feel bro.Things are going to get better for you, you seem to be Tired bright young man. I really like how you formatted those paragraphs.Some day I believe you will enjoy your life. Please try and stick it out', 'Then Im your man =]I play on NA- Im tincannabiscuits, if it goes by player name then I am Menisz', 'I play league of legends also. I wish the playerbase wasnt so toxic', 'I know you seem hopeless. I believe one day you will find something that makes your life worth it. ', 'I hear that your brain is still functioning even when you are dead..So you will be alive for how ever long and most likely be Tired confused']",Supportive
user-81,"['So should I bank on the slight chance that it does get better? Thats why Ill stay alive long term? Ive been like this for four years, with constant Suicidal thoughts. Tried two therapists and meds. There isnt a single external factor, Im okay in school, body image is fine. And Id prefer it to be a permanent, mindless solution- that would make things far much easier. The alternative of staying alive for years and years and years sounds far FAR worse. Yeah, Im a senior in HS, etc, etc, but its like a fucking PART of me and as time continues it just gets worse. I honestly dont care. I dont know why I replied.', 'Yes, I guess I dont want to Pain them either. It always seems like a double edged sword, since if I were to die I could burden them less. Although I dont know how grief works. I dont know. ', 'Ive thought about it a lot, I wouldnt feel sad if either my siblings or parents die. Perhaps a little guilty because I may have been able to do something, but not so far as grief or sadness. I mentioned to my (ex)therapist two years ago that I was considering hanging myself and she brought in my mother and told her. It was ridiculous, she started freaking out. Aside from that, no, I dont like talking about this stuff. I hate burdening everyone all the time.Also- Ive come to conclusion that Im not going to die until my younger brother gets accepted into a good college (hes on an ivy league track), dont want to fuck with his chances, so my parents can finally feel some pride and self accomplishment for once. Ill just drone through life until then. Thanks guys, for responding and caring like this. ', 'Well, I wouldnt be here if my parents were okay with suicide. My point- expressing the frustration that so many people think about suicide and still remain alive. I have a hard time grasping the fact that others can move on with their lives and have the same mental blocks, while I cant handle them. ']",Ideation
user-82,"['I just took10 more. Okay I threw up a little bit but now I feel weird and bloated.', 'Its not so much that I want to die but Im scared and I dont see a way out. I dont see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. Its just black. I feel like my life is hopeless so why prolong the suffering. Is there anyone out there? My mind is still racing. Theres no one up']",Attempt
user-83,"['I was married to an abusive man.felt Asthenia and Suicidal because i thought there was no way out. My children were separated and i just couldnt handle it all. I lived alone with nothing nearest friends and family are about 900 miles away. The original post came two days before my water broke at 30 weeks', 'I had to say i crazy amount of times to myself but i kept saying the Serenity prayer. I use to be constantly deposed for a few years but the more i said it the better i got.but more than anything you have to believe it and accept things for the way they are. Dance in the dark or die in the daylight i asked myself', 'What city?  friends needs to drink water maintain airway', 'Our oldest is Jade shes in first grade and obsessed with Katy Perry loves green red and purple and loves to sing and dance. Shes super tall up to my shoulders and Im 54. Then theres Phoenix shes 10 months old and got her first tooth yesterday shes also starting to walk. And our unborn also a girl i have no attachment to her yet probably due to whats happening its also making it hard for me to name her', 'Youre not alone. Whats wrong?', 'I lived in Ohio now ( at his request a year ago) my family and most friends are back in Florida. Our oldest child is 6 years old and supports me and the "" mistress"" but likes her a little more due to their constant outings. The others are too young. His family has always hated me and supports him with the new girl. My only choice is to wait until i have the baby is born as Ive been told divorces are always put on gold if there is a pregnancy. To many knowledge i have no choice but to accept everything until the baby is born', 'Thank you this actually means a lot andnot Common cold at all just true. Its hard to look them in the face when everyone is lieing about most of whats happening. We actually have 2 children with the third on the way. But none the less. Being forced to watch this transpire over the last few months is emotionally the most Pain thing. If he could be faithful we could work with minimal counseling but this heads been since day one.  Honestly just want it all to stop but legally i cant just walk away', 'Lol thanks i wont.', 'Thank you thank you not sure why but what you had to say really hit me and Im going to hold onto it. I have a prenatal visit tomorrow. Maybe they can help or at least refer me. But thank you', 'I want to make it the next ten weeks but honestly i just dont think i can handle it. I feel bad because as a mother leaving the kids behind it makes me feel even worse butt what choice do i have? The only thing stopping me is knowing hurting myself will Pain our unborn. She never did anything to me how can i play God and risk killing her too?', 'Thank you Im hoping to receive some counseling asap but i have no income or transportation and will have to depend on my husband so... yeah i hope', '-___- i have to wait until Im sure in November', 'no license theres the metro but since have no money Im somewhat stumped', ' is One person who wants to physically change all of this but cannot because he is make and thus will look like an affair in court he lives back in florid hes saving up to move here but until then he talks to me to at least push me to the next day']",Ideation
user-84,"['Can you go to a different doctor? One that specializes in dealing with Depression would be more helpful and more knowledgeable with antidepressants. ', 'Neither am I, Im broke as shit. Theres plenty of therapists out there that can help you at discounted rates or completely for free, especially when your life is on the line.', 'It took me a really long time to find the right therapist for me. I need prompting. I cant just talk to a person who barely responds to what I have to say. It has to be more of a conversation for it to work for me - I cant deal with doing all the talking.My best advice to you is to shop around. It took me three years to find the perfect therapist, but Im so glad I didnt give up.', 'Sleeping is a great escape. Its hard to get out of bed some days.', 'Have you tried more than one antidepressant? Oftentimes the first shot isnt the one that works best. It takes a lot of time to find the right one and the right dosage.', 'This is great, made me start my morning out smiling. Thanks for posting.', 'Thanks for this post. Keep fighting.', 'I totally understand. I have such high expectations for myself with school and such that I sacrifice everything else to do well at the things I care about. But I think that finding balance is absolutely necessary. I didnt take care of myself last year and as a result my schoolwork suffered. You have to be able to succeed and love yourself at the same time. Even if you set aside a few extra minutes a day to do something nice for yourself, I find it really helps. Are you seeing a therapist? Mine has really helped me make progress in those areas.', 'Have you noticed any positive effects? Have you tried anti-depressants? ', 'Hey, just so you know, you arent alone. For starters, validate your ""shit"". It doesnt matter if other people have more or less shit than you, your shit is still your shit and its hard to deal with! Depression, bipolar tendencies, an eating disorder, OCD and Anxiety is a LOT to deal with. Give yourself some credit for that, and dont beat yourself up for it. Last december I was diagnosed with Depression, an eating disorder, PTSD and a panic disorder. Having multiple mental disorders to deal with is enough to make anyone feel hopeless. My PTSD allows me to relate to Billy Pilgrim becoming unstuck in time a little TOO much. So first of all, I highly recommend seeing a therapist. The sooner you go, the better. You shouldnt have to wade your way through all of this without help or alone. You arent necessarily going to find the right therapist on the first try either, so please dont give up. I went through several shitty therapists until I found the right one, but Im so glad I didnt give up. Going to therapy has changed my life. Also, in the meantime try to find little things you can do that you love. Exercise usually helps with Depression, but for me exercise is also a large part of my eating disorder so I have to be really careful. I notice when Im outside hiking I feel a lot more grounded so you may want to give that a try. Also eating healthy foods and enough of those food can help with mood quite a bit (easier said than done with an eating disorder, I know). Lastly, if you ever need someone to talk to, PM me at any time. Its brave of you to open up about all of this. Good luck. ', 'Thats rough, Ive been there. The therapists at my school refused to see me because I was going through a totally unrelated lawsuit. It was messed up. Anyways, Im glad you are going to therapy even if its not ideal. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk and good luck. I hope things get better!', 'Getting out of bed? Too hard.', 'I can totally relate. When I do that, I just feel like a failure and a terrible person and the Pressure to do better and to get better is so overwhelming that it can be really destructive and actually make me feel worse. One thing my therapist told me was similar, but offered a fresh perspective on  the whole ""hold out for your loved ones"" thing, and actually seems to help without making my feel guilty.She told me to think of a person I really loved. In this case it was the seven year old girl who I babysit regularly and absolutely adore, and whose parents have been wonderful role models to me. She asked me if I would let my loved one Pain herself. She asked me if I would let her cut herself, binge drink, starve herself, or Pain herself in any way while she was under my care. Of course I answered no. My therapist then went on to explain that I need to work on self-compassion and love. I do a great job at showing that to other people, and so I need to show it to myself as well. Be as compassionate to yourself as you are to others.Hope that helps!', 'Thats horrible, and Im so sorry he said that to you. My guess is that he must not understand the nature or causes of self-harming at all. Do you need help? Absolutely. But he also Tired clearly needs help if that was his response to you. I would recommend that both of you go to therapy, and in addition maybe go to couples therapy together. If he understood what you were going through he would realize the awful repercussions that his words would have on you. And just for the record, you are not Asthenia or pathetic.', 'I have tried this with mixed results. Sometimes it helps immediately by distracting me. My therapist has also suggested squeezing ice cubes to reduce anxiety. However, sometimes I get so fixated on seeing blood after I self harm that I dont even notice the ice, and promptly give into the urges when Im done with the ice. ', 'Have you talked to a professional?', 'Feel free to PM me. Im not a vet, but I have some Tired close friends who are. I also struggle with Depression and PTSD, and am here anytime if you need a friend.', 'It took me a long time to find a therapist that was right for me, and many years of battling Suicidal thoughts. I went through so many shitty therapists that didnt do anything for me and then four years later I found one who changed my life. Its a frustrating process, but its worth it if you dont give up.', 'Is there something that you do enjoy? However small? ', 'Another favorite of mine: ""Everything is going to be okay."" I have a friend who claims to understand Depression sooo well but frequently tells me things like that. If you are brushing off Depression like its no big deal and like everything will be just dandy then you obviously have no idea what it feels like.', 'Yes, I too would like to hear your story. I think it would help us understand more. Happiness is a fight, its not just something that happens. At least for me.', 'Yeah, exactly. It wasnt ""real"" until there was blood. And then the sense of relief I felt was huge. Im not sure why that was.', 'If you are over 18, that generally will not qualify for an immediate hospital trip (from my personal experience, anyways). If you are under 18, it may or may not require a hospital trip depending on whether or not your therapist thinks your life is in danger. However, your parents are usually called regardless. ', 'Welcome :) Feel free to PM me if you have more questions. Sounds like you are doing important work. ', 'Look, I grew up on welfare, so I dont have a ""rich person wallet"" to pay for anything. I struggle with four different mental disorders including Depression and I have found both doctors and therapists that are willing to help me for little or no cost. ', 'Most definitely. I used to get angered by people who were overly cheerful  or people that I deemed ""too happy"". Anyone who said something optimistic while trying to support me was just incredibly annoying. I was pretty convinced that there was no way happy people could ever understand me.', 'Please keep posting. This is great and I really appreciate you posting it. Its important to know that we are not alone and to raise awareness of the reality of Depression.']",Behavior
user-85,"['You have heard the saying that on planes that you put the oxygen mask on yourself first so you are able to put the oxygen mask on your child.There is a repeating theme in your short paragraph that you dont want to bother anybody. But what exactly do you think committing suicide would do?> I dont want to bother my therapist this early or at all. I can assure you that if you are getting to the edge of the cliff, she wouldnt care if you called at 3:30 a.m.You really need to work on your codependency issues, and then the rest will follow.> I cant tell anyone how low I feel.Yes you can, you just listed excuses instead.Stop avoiding your problems and anxiety, and start addressing them. If you dont want to be a burden ( I hate that women are conditioned to feel this way) then the best thing you can do is to actively seek help and talk to your husband, and go to the hospital if you need too.']",Supportive
user-86,"['Sorry for the late response. Im not saying itll get better - I dont know you, so itd be a worthless statement. I truly believe some people cant get better. I just dont have any reason to think youre on of them.My point was that youve tried a lot. But some things are hard/nearly impossible to solve by yourself. Thats what I was trying to say, and I figured its worth seeing if I could help you with something.Also, and maybe more importantly: if you ever feel isolated, feel free to hit me up to talk. If all of [this](http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/1hqsfe/no_one_cares/) is true, youd be amazed at how extremely familiar some of those things are to me. ', 'Need to catch a train and doctors appointment after that - Ill respond when Im home :P In the mean time you can answer this: Do you really weigh 85 pounds? In non-idiotic-measurements, thats 34 kg, which would be a small amount for a 21 year old.', 'It was Tired clear to me that you didnt take this lightly - if I thought you did I wouldnt have cared.I recognize your sitation, but I dont know *you*. That means I cannot come up with guaranteed ways thatll make you feel better. It seems to me that you still have aspirations (job/friends/dates), but that your situation hasnt gotten a lot better for the last year or so. I figured maybe if you tell me some goals youd like to achieve (things you want to change in your life), I might be able to help you realize them. For example, if you want to change something in your life, but you have no idea how to get started, I might be able to help you. If you cant get a job and you really want one, I could hear around for general advice (e.g. advice on r\xc3\xa9sum\xc3\xa9, on job interview, etc.). ', 'Sorry, the Internet default gender is male, hence the confusion. Makes sense why NoFap isnt a challenge now :P Aside from that, I kinda feel you might be giving up too soon on some things. Youre a good looking (based on description) 21 y/o woman, even if you were awkward as fuck youd end up with multiple dates. I understand your current situation sucks, and if I believed there was no hope, Id support you if you decided to end your life. But based on the conversation Im convinced there are still ways to get you better, and I cannot support you in not-considering these. I can however support you in finding ways to get you better, so let me know if youre open for that.', 'If you do end up commiting suicide, the decision whether or not you write a note will be one of your last decisions in life. Its worth taking some time to think it through. Writing stuff down gives you a better idea whether or not your decision is 100% what you want. For example, if you try to write a good motivation for suicide, youre likely to discover some flaws in your logic; or some options you havent tried yet. These are worth trying - you want to commit suicide because you feel youve tried everything, meaning that if you havent tried everything you should try the other options. Its Tired likely that there are other options that you havent considered yet.Aside from that, Im not gonna try to talk you out of it. I dont know you and Im no psychic, so I cannot say ""youre an amazing  person"" and ""everything will be all right!"".All I want to say about it is that youre main issue seems that you think youre ""out of options"". Think that through.So, on the letter, some other advantages:* people will know it was not an impulsive decision. They will have an explanation, which might help them cope with the loss (trust me, youll almost certainly Pain people). * you can Pain people. This is both an advantage and a disadvantage. ', 'I want to start by clarifying *I dont disagree* with your reasoning. It has reached bestof, therefore I assume it applies to many people. I just want to give my *personal* answer on a question in your text.> If delusion can fuel your well being, then whats wrong with giving into delusion? For me, truth and authenticity are higher values than *feeling happy*. Im not saying Depression is truth/not delusional, heck, I dont know squat about Depression. But when it comes to delusion vs happiness, I would rather kill myself than live a dilusional life. ', 'Then you have to analyze your current situation and change whatever is giving you a hard time. There are always many many things you can change in life. Feeling like shit is the worst, but it does have one good thing - you have nearly nothing to lose. Change things based on what will help you on short term, no long term decisions. If you dont know what to change, just try random stuff. Learn something new (can help you with that); get really really drunk, do a game/movie marathon, ...Assuming youre looking for a job (since you said ""its kind of difficult for me to get a job""), you have a lot of spare time. Fill it in as much as possible with varying activities. You might discover that you like something you didnt know.Another tip, try sports (for example, lifting weights). It can make a *huge* difference. A healthy body will make you feel better, even without things changing in your life. Aside from that - things will change if youre doing it right. If youre bodys in better shape, youll feel better about yourself and youll be happier (which doesnt mean its a requirement to be happy, its just something that works).Also something fun: challenge yourself and start /r/NoFap . I dont care if you want to do it, just do it, try it for 9 days. 9 days is nothing; you have nothing to lose, but you may discover a lot by no longer obeying nature (which youve probably done for years). After 9 days, you can do whatever you want (continue, stop, ...). ']",Supportive
user-87,"['Thanks for the group I will look into it.  The person that moved away I just cant talk to anymore, there was a falling out.  I guess I am just being unreasonable with what I want.  I know I need to tell my therapist how bad I am doing but dont want to end up in the hospital again.  But I know if I tell her I will be sent back.  I dont know.  I wish I could get a second dog, but I cant.  He has helped me through so much.  I would say the only reason I am here is because of him, I tried to hang myself and he came down to the basement and saw me hanging there and I just couldnt bear the thought of him watching me die and I was able to get on something to stop from passing out.  I just dont know what I will do when the time comes that he isnt there.  I also just dont know what to do with these thoughts anymore.  It seems everywhere I look I get the same response for OCD.  You must do CBT it will work.  It will work.  It will work.  But it just doesnt for me.  Like I dunno.  I just wish I had someone I trusted and understood what I was going through to be near me so I could just be hugged when I am at my worst.  ', 'I just enjoy watching it really.  I played defense when I played hockey though.  Curry is just awesome.  I cant explain it.', 'My experience with therapy has been mixed.  I am being treated for OCD, Major Depressive Disorder, and Borderline Personality Disorder.  I have been in therapy a little over a year, stopped about a few weeks ago, but have decided to go back to it because I am going through an extremely rough time now.  My search to find a therapist took about 4 months, and I really cant say I am feeling any better despite being in therapy for close to a year and seeing her every week.  The first session is kind of awkward as you are basically telling a complete stranger how you got to this point.  The best thing I can recommend, and I have trouble doing this for different reasons, but to be open and honest with your therapist about how you feel.', 'Ya, like I just cant bring myself to go to one.  Again, how can one get better when the place they should be makes the symptoms so much worse.', 'Ya, she knows that I am off my medications.  She also knows about my other drug use.  I will be telling her pretty much everything, but again I just dont want to run the risk of being committed against my will.  The issue with my parents is not a Fear of being letdown or nothing happening, it is just that I dont care enough to involve them.  My parents just this morning asked how I was doing, and I just told them everything was fine.  They asked if I was seeing my therapist still, and said I was seeing her Monday.  They asked if I was taking my meds and told them I wasnt.  Like, I cant even tell my therapist that I have a plan or anything else I get sent to the psych ward.  I tell her that it doesnt help me, but she has to do it by law.  So I am fucked in that sense.  They just dont understand that the hospital is not a place I want to be regardless of being Suicidal.', 'Unfortunately, where I live there is only 1 hospital that handles psych patients.  I would, if I decided to, have to drive 3 hours to get to the next hospital.  I have only been in therapy really for like a year.  The thoughts prevent me from doing a lot of stuff, they leave me in their control.  Everyday, I wake up and the thoughts are there dictating what I do.  It takes me an hour to shower because I need to feel right before I get out or I end up have Anxiety attacks.  I have obsessive thoughts of harming myself and follow through with them so they stop.  I just want them to stop, and all anyone can tell me is that they will not stop but that I can one day cope with them.  How the fuck do you cope with intrusive thoughts and violent images of hurting yourself or wanting to kill yourself.', 'The only surgeon my psychiatrist was able to find is in Boston so I am not able to really talk about it.  But I am really against the surgery in the first place.  Again it has to do with being in a hospital.  Even if they were not as active it would still be too much for me :(.  My family thinks I am fine because I just dont interact with them.  I am able to hide how I truly am from my psych and therapist so hiding from my family who I dont interact with or even really talk to is easy.  I tried joining that group but it needs to be approved oh well.', 'I used too :(.   But nothing interests me anymore.  My fav food is probably curry.  TV Show is probably Stargate.  Sports would be hockey, soccer, and rugby.', 'It really depends sometimes the pot will help other times it will make things worse.  But I dont even have the money for a taxi anyway, or even enough to drive.  I understand that my friends dont have the the ability to understand or really how to act around me, because they have found out I cut, among other things.  I dont think it is really a major issue, I was let down by my friends oh well.  I am fine being alone.  But the thought of being around other people, whether it is a support group or a hospital just creates Anxiety.  So I try to avoid all situations that cause Anxiety.  Hell, I took a year off school because I was continually having Anxiety issues being in class.  I have tried making friends with people that I have met at the hospital but maybe i am unlucky and I just end up being in the psych ward when no one even close to my age is there.  The time I did meet some people one moved away, and I just dont like being around the other people.  I feel so Illness with myself being the way I am, that as I sit here in my room I just look in a mirror and see emptiness.  My dog loves me I know that, but I cant keep going in this world with just that.  What happens when he dies in a few years, the average lifespan of a cockerspaniel is like 12 years or so and he is almost 11.  I know my parents would take care of him if I died, it isnt like he is actually mine.  Sure I spend the most time with him, and stuff but it was my parents that actually got him and raised him.  I didnt start bonding with him until he was 3-4 years old.  Basically around the time my life started becoming fucked.', 'Ya, it is fucked I know.  Here is someone that wants help but his own Illness prevents it from happening.  I guess that would be normal though.  I wish I could believe the violent intrusive thoughts would stop, but the nature of OCD wont allow that.  I just cant live with myself knowing these thoughts are there, it is just so crippling to deal with them.  I want to get better, I do, but a larger part of me just wants to take the easy way out and just end my life.  I cant even enjoy what I used to love anymore.  I cant go out in public, or even feel comfortable around anyone anymore because of the scars and current cuts.  I havent felt any emotion or pleasure in so many years.  I am not sure I am even human anymore or if I ever was.  It is just an empty person with no emotion.', 'This is my fault.  I let myself get this bad, by fucking up my attempts.  Hospitals make things worse for me.  I have gone in 4 times and have come out worse then when I went in.  My psych and therapist had to have the police bring me in the last time, and I will not be going back to one.  I cant get better in one, when I am constantly having Anxiety and Stress issues when in one.', 'Yes, I may be delusional.  But again, I will not go to a hospital.  I do not get better in one, I end up getting worse because I have Anxiety issues with being around that many people.  I end up stressing out because I am in the hospital and have a Fear of them.  It just doesnt help me when I am in a hospital.', 'The shitty thing is, is that I live in a small town so no private institutions at least none that are a reasonable distance.  As for support groups, I really dont feel that they would help as I dont like telling anyone about what I am going through, at least in person.  I also just cant be around that many people, as I go into an Anxiety overdrive and just feel horrible.  I have no problem travelling, I have just recently got back from Montreal and put up a facade of having fun.  I also just cant get up an leave either since I am in a good paying job, and going to school.  This idea of time, is just something that makes me more Depression.  How long must I stay like this?  What is acceptable?  Why should I wait this through when I can just end it all tonight?  This Depression has been crippling me for several years, and OCD will not go away it will stay there.  I just seem like I am fooling myself by telling myself that things will get better when they havent.  I really see no point in going on past tonight.  I just...ya...  I have no hope left, I see everyone saying try this, try that with no success.  It just brings you down when shit works for other people and then it doesnt work for you.  Like why bother continuing?  I dont see the point.Everyday is Pain to live.  I wake up, and every second is thought about killing myself, or filled with obsessive thoughts.  It just fucking sucks, and the Illness has taken a toll.  My arm is covered in scars, my interal organs have probably been fucked from the amount of ODs that I been through.  ', 'I have been basically bullied since grade 1.  Started noticing my OCD happening around grade 9 maybe.  ', 'You sound like my therapist.', 'I dont see it worth it at all.  I have trouble seeing anything be worth it at this point.  I really just want to end the Pain that I am in.', '3 Hours isnt too much of a drive, but I just couldnt bring myself to do it.  I have too many issues driving, with thoughts of killing myself or thoughts that I may have hit something it just causes Anxiety.  The only time I really drive is to go to work.  I also dont trust anyone to drive me or want to tell anyone.  I am not sure if my therapist is helping or not, I have been in therapy for close to a year and have seen no results so maybe she isnt helping.  As for OCD specialists I have none in my area.  I cant even begin to explain the intrusive thoughts as they cause so much Anxiety just thinking about them.  But it is just like the thought is stuck and wont leave, always there saying the same thing over and over and over.  It just doesnt stop.  As I have said, I just dont see myself ever being able to cope with the thoughts that cause the most distress.  And that is what causes the worst of my Depression and causes me to cut and want to kill myself.  Today, I have spent the entire day in my room just Crying that I am still alive and wanting to die just wanting to take more pills to end it and fighting a losing battle to not take them.', 'I dont see it ever getting better at this point.  I have been hoping for so long for shit to get better that at this point I have no hope left.  I have no will left to live left.', 'I have been looking for new therapists, but with this town so small it just seems impossible.  I am quite positive I was on everyones waiting list for about 4 months, got the one I have now and was taken off the waiting lists for other therapists so I would have to start over.  I know I am self sabotaging my therapy by not telling her everything but I am just to Feeling nervous and lack of trust to tell her everything because I dont want to get sent to a psych ward.  My parents know about my Illness but right now they think I am fine and dont know how I think they would react, probably send me to the hospital.  They have threatened to have the police pick me up and take me to the psych ward before when they found out I was cutting again.  I just dont enjoy talking or being around them it doesnt bother me that if I kill myself they would be Pain, but I know that if I did kill myself they wouldnt notice for a few days.  ', 'Ya, as I said in my original post I stopped them in like September.  As for how Suicidal I am, I dont want to answer to that.  I would say I am at risk for cutting tonight...', 'For drugs I go through ganja/hash daily, and use coke/e/shrooms/opis every once and a while.  Naturally, I feel fine when under the influence but afterwords it is back to the hell and it just makes it more depressing but it allows an escape from it so I dont mind.  It isnt that I dont want the help that is available, it is that I have just tried so much that I dont want to send myself over the edge by putting hope into something than seeing it fail.  Again with support groups I would try them if I wouldnt be having Anxiety issues around the people.  It is hard to explain.  As for going to an institution I am still just terrified of them.  I mean no one wants to go to one, I realize that.  But I have promised myself that I will not be going back to one.  I have my reasons for this.  I know I must appear stubborn, because there are options out there but I dont want to use them.  I have emailed my therapist asking for an appointment but I dont think I will tell her exactly how I feel.  I have never really been truthful with her and my psychiatrist about how Suicidal I am.  For example, about 1 month ago I tried to kill myself by ODing on prescription medication and didnt tell my therapist until she actually asked me.It seems like I am so wrapped up in not wanting people to know what is wrong with me that I dont want to let people in.  I have trust issues I guess as well as Delusional disorder issues.  I am just so fed up with shit that I really see myself doing something tonight.  Ya, I know I can go to the hospital to help myself and be safe\xe2\x80\xa6 but I dont think I want to.', 'How much is a little more?  I have been waiting for 8 years.  How much longer must I suffer until I get better.', 'I am not sure what a hotline can really offer me to be honest.  I have tried them in the past with no help, usually ended up self harming afterwords.  The Hospital is something that I just can not stand, I have been their like 4 times in the past 2 years or so.  I just get really Delusional disorder, and end up harming myself more so then when outside of it.  My family is not really there for support, and I really dont view them as family to begin with.  They are really just there.  I feel no connection to them at all.  Sometimes I know that if I were to kill myself no one would miss me.  Dealing with the intrusive thoughts and the thoughts that I have myself just fucking cripples me.  I am to Anxiety to do anything with anyone or be around anyone because of this Fear.  So I sit at home selfharming everynight, just hoping I die.  I wish I had better things to say about myself or my outlook but I just dont.  This shit has been going on way too long, and I just dont have a will to live anymore.', 'Thanks for your response.  ', 'I dont see how they can help me.  I cant talk to them either, as I cant trust them.', 'I have no one left to Pain.  It honestly doesnt matter to me though.  My family knows, because the only reason I was let out of the hospital last time was because I agreed to let the doctors talk to my parents about my Illness.', 'I already live at home, so ya, but hurting my family with my death is not really a worry of mine.  And moving out or moving to a different place is not a realistic option or I have would have done it by now.', 'It just allows me to unstick my thoughts I guess.  Reduces my Anxiety.  No routines really calm down my Anxiety.  My hobbies, or I guess what I enjoy doing is listening to music, and playing video games.  But other things I have tried havent really helped, such as reading/learning new things/working out.  I was bullied in school mainly because I was always the youngest in the class, short, quiet, and a geek basically.', 'waiting periods for new ones are too long.  Wont be waiting that long.', 'I stopped using drugs, drinking, medication.  But no help there.  I have too many Anxiety issues to be around people.  Something that hasnt been brought up in therapy yet.', 'It doesnt bother me at this point.  I thought about the people that would miss me or be affected and the list has no one on it.  Everyone has left me, or I simply do not like them.', 'I also should mentioned I checked out that yahoo group, and I dont know it just doesnt seem like my cup of tea.  I do appreciate your help though.', 'I sent you a PM with a somewhat detailed description.  The thing is I have acted on them before.  The obsessive thoughts of harming myself.', 'I have used shrooms, acid, salvia.  I cant get a hold of DMT or I would have tried it.I went to one EST treatment, and stopped after the one as I just didnt feel right.', 'Last I checked it was 4+ months for private ones, and 6+ for public ones.  ', 'It helps to get it off my chest.  But, at the same time just makes me realize how messed my life is and why do I even bother continuing.  As I have told my therapist I could live a life with OCD as long as the violent intrusive thoughts of hurting myself or others would just stop.  As they are the root cause for the Depression and the way I feel.  But I know that they wont stop.  I know that they will never go away.  So, why bother sticking around just to cause more Pain to myself?  Killing myself is a logical solution to me.  ', 'Nothing.  I have nothing left that the Depression hasnt taken from me.', 'I am not sure what help is left.  Going to hospitals and in-patient services have always caused me to come out worse, because they cause immense Anxiety and Stress issues the entire time I am there that I end up lying to get out as Sharp Pain as possible.  Medications have been ineffective thus far, and I wont take medications anymore because of the Delusional disorder thoughts that I have about them.', 'Cant get another dog due to living at home, parents just want one.  The surgery really just freaks me out.  I live in Canada, on the east coast.  ', 'Not anymore :(', 'Not that good tbh.  I took way too many pills mixed with alcohol and ended up throwing up :(.  Not much else to say, I am disappointed that I am still alive.  I see my therapist on Monday.  ', 'I just dont know.  I just Fear that the surgery is something so extreme.  Like what if I am misdiagnosed.  What if it doesnt work, and I end up worse off.  It just isnt something I could see myself doing.  Nor, would I ever be able to afford something like that in the first place.  It also isnt an option I can just choose to do either.  My self harming has become so bad, that I am not sure why I even do it anymore to the point that I feel light headed.  It is out of control just like my OCD.  It seems everything in my life is out of control.', 'Ya, I mean I am going to tell my therapist that I am not doing so well.  But, I already know what will happen.  They dont listen to you.  As soon as I say I am Suicidal, but I dont want to go to a hospital because it makes things worse, they will get a court order again and force me there.  Regardless of what I say, I have no say in my treatment because they just see me as someone who is Suicidal and where I live again the hospital is meant for short time stays.  And I cant just leave my job and drive 3+ hours on the hopes of getting into some clinic that I dont even want to go to in the first place.  I know a psych ward/clinic is a place to stabilize and it may work for other people, but it just fucks me up even more.  I also appreciate your help with these sites, but none of them and I havent found any yet that actually address or attempt to help with the intrusive thoughts that I have.  I dont even talk about them here, or with my therapist so I dont even know how I would bring them up on a separate website.  ', 'Its a 10 year old cockerspaninel that is prety spoiled lol.  he sleps with me every night i love that guy.  I jusyt dont think sending this to her is a good idea because she willl know i have a plan and date and i can not go back to a hosptial.  I would rather die.', 'I would say so.  I just feel like I am helpless because the things that I have tried and have offered to me just dont seem to help with my main symptoms.  Again, things do work for my other shit like checking doors, locks, cleaning, etc.  But for the main thing it doesnt help.  I feel like I am wasting peoples time, because it eventually gets to the point where all that someone can say is give it more time, and I do, and nothing changes, and it just makes things worse.  Too make things even worse, it seems someone at my work noticed my write up, and I had a really fucking awkward meeting with HR.  Told them everything was fine :(', 'I have tried calling the hotline here in Canada, a few times with no real help.  I mainly lock up because I just get Delusional disorder they are going to send someone to pick me up and force me back into a hospital.  Too late on the cutting anyway.', 'Psychiatrist, Therapist, parents I dont care about so it isnt an issue.  As for being in shape, I would say I am average, 62 200lbs.  Again, OCD isnt going to be fixed through the same means as Depression.  ', 'I honestly dont know, and that is what makes me feel helpless, and hopeless/.  Because, I know that this works for the majority of people, and I just see it not working for me.  And i hate mysealf for it.  i feel like it is my fault.  i feel like i let myself get this way.  sorry been drinking, so i may make typoes.', 'I have searched for therapists basically within a 2 hour drive radius of where I live.  I know my Feeling Feeling nervous and lack of trust is hindering me, but it is part of my ocd and Delusional disorder delusions.  I find it easier to talk over the internet due to the annonymity, the fact that I dont have to worry about being forced into a hospital, and I can talk to someone who has an understanding of what being Depression is like.  I am just so strung out from this shit that I dont know, I am just too concerned with what people will think or say that I am too embarrassed to go to the hospital as a factor.  I know that I should say fuck it, but I just cant think that way or bring myself to do it.  I know I will probably end up dead if I dont get to one.  It is like I am standing in the headlights of the car and am just stuck not wanting to move knowing that I should move. ', 'I sent her email detailing what I have said in this thread.  She says she has ""some new materials for you that I think you will find interesting and helpful"".  But I just dont see that happening.  Can I hold out until Monday who knows.  But even then I dont see my mood changing or seeing how the therapy can help in the short term.  I know I should go to a hospital especially since I tried to OD last night.  But I just cant do it.  My priorities are fucked.', 'Murphwhitt, I have been on a high dose of something ( I actually forget the name) for about 4 months or so before I stopped because my mood wasnt changing, and I felt myself feeling more Numbness at times.  ', 'I dunno, i have seen like 4-5 psychiatrists and they all say the same thing.  I just feel completely hopeless, and feel like i am wasting peoples time I guess.  Like I am a burden.', 'There is, but I dont like being around the people there.  So I just Chill with my dog, and we seem to have fun.  He also hangs with the neighbors dogs.  As for the instituiton i dunno.  I want to get better, but I dont want to go to one.  I would seriously [prefer to die.  The Fatigue from thsi shit is unbearable.  I just want to self harm more tonight i just cant stop and it is a part that makes me feel more Depression.  it just sucks that my ocd feeds my Depression and self harming, and the Depression and self harming feeds the ocd.  I am stuck in a loop.  ', 'Ya, I suppose so.  I am just so terrified of hospitals/clinics that I would prefer the alternative of if I didnt go into one.  I just hate the way that I am treated in the hospital like a fucking child.  Under supervision, not allowed to go outside to breath fresh air.  At least in a prison I can breath fresh air.  ', 'Well, I can see how it is confusing...  But it is just how I think I guess.  Always planning and thinking ahead, it is a part of the ocd really.  ', 'The ones listed are ones that I have tried.  I am currently meant to be taking Sertraline.  ', 'I have no curiosity really.  At least not anymore.  I try looking out into the futur adn dont really see myself geting better.  ASo it just makes me more Depression as shit and just wanting to cut becuase it is the only thin i have ever known.  I have a dog and i love him to death, he has helped me through so much.  I could email it to her, i dunno.  Sorry for the typing I am slightly intoxicated right now.  Like this life i live sucks, fuck this shit.  ', 'It has been, but they just dont seem to care about it.', 'Nope.  My friends left me after they found out about my Illness.  And I severely dislike my family members.  I just dont identify them as my family.', 'I have called a hotline twice, both were quite frankly fucked.  The first time I called I got a message saying they were busy and then the line disconnected (automated).  Then the second time I called I was just clueless as to what to say or do, and it just ended up with the same BS of go to a hospital, your life is worth living etc.  Then when I mentioned I was self harming they asked if I was doing it right then, which I was, and said they couldnt continue to talk.  I have never been honest with my therapist because I have major issues trusting people, which stem from being in Junior High School.  I have told her truthfully once that I was thinking about suicide and she ended up having me committed to a hospital for about 1 month which didnt help me at all if anything it set me back.  I guess my biggest Fear is telling my therapist how I truly feel, and her sending me back to the hospital and me having to deal with the fallout from that.As for the medication I have always been on high doses of every medication I have been on.  A short list would be prozac, zoloft, celexa, luvox, seroquel, risperidone, zyprexa, zygess, geodon, haldol, and lithium is what I remember.  Obviously not being on those all at once, but ya.  I just am Tired of the shit not working.Like I havent even mentioned all the other shit that is going on, maybe I should\xe2\x80\xa6  I dont know.  I am just so fucked up that I dont tell anyone what is really going on because I am fearful that they will just run away.  I wish I could say I would be safe tonight, but with how things are going I dont see that happening.  I see myself not ever getting better.  My psychiatrist wanted to see about sending me to some clinics in the US but havent heard back from that yet.  She mentioned I could try surgery to help my OCD but I dont want to risk the surgery fucking up and making me worse off then I am now.  I dunno, I appreciate you talking with me though.', 'I cant be around more then 2-3 people, as I end up having Anxiety attacks.  Plus seeing other people happy generally brings me down as it reminds me of what I havent felt.', 'Not that great.  Slipping further away I guess.  Last night was not a good night :(', 'I loved someone once for 3 years.  They left me the minute I said I was Depression :(.  I cant trust anyone anymore enough to even form a friendship let alone love.  I barely eat anymore as it is.  I went clean for 4 months with no noticeable effect. ', 'Hey, I am still here.  I just needed to take a break, have a smoke and sleep, as I was getting a little down.  I havent told my parents, and I know I wouldnt ever tell them.  It just isnt something I want to do.  I think a large part of me wants to die.  But, a small part is preventing me from doing it and that small part is getting smaller and smaller with each passing hour and day.   ', 'The thing is, is that I just dont care enough about them to even bother.  Nor do I even really care much about myself.  Like I want to get help, but a large part of me is telling me that I am only getting help because that is what someone should do.  That large part is telling me to just do it and end it.  I am just so caught up in this Illness that I dont know what is true anymore.', 'Everyone, really.  ', 'That part gets smaller and smaller every day, and every hour.  Eventually and shortly nothing is going to be left.  ', 'I have had bad experiences in the past with hotlines, and I cant bring myself to verbally say this shit to people.  It just seems more real, if I speak about it, as opposed to typing it.  Plus, I dont want to be a burden on you I am not worth it.', 'The situation is that essentially from the Age of 5, when I started school, I have been bullied, Depression, developing OCD, developing psychotic thoughts.  The OCD primary symptom is having extremely graphic and violent thoughts and mental images of harming myself and others.  They are too overwhelming and I cant keep dealing with them.  I have tried numerous coping methods, but none have worked.', 'Ya, I dont think I can Stress that I need a clinic because I will not be going to one.  As for putting off killing myself, I just dont see that happening.  As for parents, I just dont want to involve them.  Like as I said, I know that a hospital is safe.  But how can I get better in one if they cause too much Stress and make me want to lie to get out.  I just dont see the benefit in going to one, other than prolonging the amount of Pain I am in.  A institution would be the same thing as well.  I dont know :(  I wish I had the courage to just cut deeper to end it.  ', 'Ya, but it isnt my cup of tea.  ', 'That is what people say, but I have been hoping for that for so long.  How long do I wait.  How long do I suffer, for something that I have never seen.', 'I dont know.  I guess I can send this to my therapist.  But ya, i dunno.  Again I cant go back to an institution.  My experiences in there have always been bad.  My first time going to one was when I was 13 after my first attempt and I was put in a safe room for about 1 month and just basically told that I was fine and I just tried cutting my arm open for attention.  Then I went back into one during the second year of university and was pumped full of drugs and sent home after 1 month still feeling the same way, I just wanted out.  The third time was about 2 months after I was released and the same shit told my psych I was still feeling Depression and back in I went pumped full of more drugs then sent home feeling worse than before.  Then the last time was sent there before I could attempt and put on more drugs then sent home.  I just have lost hope in ever getting better, and just thinking about how fucked this past has been has made me want to Pain myself even more.  I am at the point really where I cant handl;e anything anymore.  Scared that if I tell the truth to my therapist that she will want to put me in a psych ward.  I just cant go back to one.  I just cant.  ', 'I dont know, as you know my experiences with the hospital are terrible.  Where I live if you tell them you are Suicidal you are sent straight to the psych ward, no real option.  I just dont know what to do, if on Monday it is just the same shit.  I really dont think I can handle that let down.  I dont want to go to a hospital but know I should because I know I am not safe\xe2\x80\xa6  I am messed up and these intrusive thoughts just arent helping.', 'Believe me, I have tried occupying my mind.  These thoughts overpower it, and just cripple me emotionally and are to overwhelming to keep living with.', 'Ya, I am doing fine I guess.  I just needed to get some air, grab a drink, and clean a few cuts.  Like I just dont know what to really say or tell.  I have psychotic episodes that I dont really tell my therapist or psychiatrist about, or at least not the full extent of them.  I dont tell them how every morning I wake up wanting to commit suicide, or that I have a plan, or even a date.  I am haunted and tormented by obsessive thoughts of violence towards others and myself that I just want to kill myself when they occur.  I havent told the therapist or psych about the Delusional disorder thoughts/delusions that I constantly have.  The surgery just freaks me out because it is not guaranteed to work and it can cause other side effects such as memory loss and loss of intelligence.  So here I sit, with a plan that I want to carry out but to Feeling nervous to do it in case it fails and I have to go through to the hospital shit again, but who knows.', 'Yes, I dont have schizophrenia because I am aware of my thoughts, and have only been in full blown Psychotic disorder a few times.  I have had a brain scan, etc and everything checked out.  And I have researched my symptoms.  I have dedicated my school career to trrying to understand myself and find o",Attempt
user-88,"['Thats what Im trying to do. But I have no money. I need to pay off rent in May or all my roommates get evicted.', 'Besides Planned Parenthood, where a friend had told me to go, there isnt really anywhere else to go. And Ive tried practically everything, especially getting a job, but now Im just feeling hopeless. And I cant ask my mother for money anymore.']",Ideation
user-89,"['They will, they will look down on you because they dont understand you, just keep being positive. I dont know your living situation so changing your environment could be difficult. Sometimes you have to push through your current situation until a better one arises. ', 'Its tough, my junior year I had to go through a bunch of shit, I almost didnt make it out. Im in my senior year and so far its getting worse. I dont know if Ill make it through christmas break, winter is always the worse time, but hell. I figure Ive made it this far, might aswell keep going.', 'A lot of people are like that, but if you give it some time and if they see you are really trying they will be supportive and treat you normally. Give yourself a chance to turn it around, promise yourself not to do it until youve Exhaustion all other options, for yourself, for those who love you.', 'You can plant a tree in a pot and give it all the time in the world, but it wont grow, you have to put it in the right environment so its roots can get the nourishment they need and it will grow steadily. Youve inserted yourself into a pot and waited for something to happen, you need to put yourself into a nourishing environment. And as for a reason to keep going, think of the people who will be devastated if you do it and who genuinely care for you. ', 'Personally Id be blunt about it, but it all depends on the type of parents you have, you could have someone else tell them, you could try giving hints, or, like I mentioned, just tell them, something along the lines of Hey mom do you know where I could see a good counselor? or Hey mom do you mind taking me to see a counselor? ', 'People will always be negative nancys, they will bring you down, you have to be the positive person and bring them back up.Saying you HAVE to stay there or be a failure is the opposite of where I live, if you dont leave youre a failure, its all relative so dont let them confine you. We all have those bad experiences, dont forget them, but dont dwell on them, learn from them. Dont feel bad for Crying EVER, if someone makes fun of you for Crying they probably are worse off then you they just dont want to admit it. And lastly... I care about your life because you could be someone I know, someone I love, and someone I care about, and after all of this you have become someone I care about, someone I know, even if only what youve told me, and now I just want to help you in any way that I can. ', 'I used to be that guy, I wanted to do art but I wasnt a good artist. I was Asthenia (overweight, not underweight) and I was pretty much just a guy who told some jokes and didnt do much outside of school. The change happened randomly, I dropped a lot of weight, built some muscle, and gave being social some serious effort. I regret not seeing a therapist though, and you really should look into it, it will help you.All it takes is some effort, read about concepts of art online, learn the different styles, maybe graphic design isnt your cup of tea but a different style is. And pick up a weight, jog some, switch to a healthier eating style and bulk up a bit, you will be surprised at how easy it can be. Good luck bro, you got an entire community here for you.', 'I may be a bit late to the ballgame but honestly Im having a relapse of this feeling and Im amazed its such a shared feeling.Recently Ive found that I really dont care about anyone, I told myself I love my family but I dont think thats true. All I do is sleep and just move along with life. But then theres that one day where some person makes a small impression on me and I care again and its annoying because it makes me think Ill start caring about life again but I dont. And theres the flip side of the coin where someone makes an impression on me and I start hating everyone.Anyway just know your not alone. ', 'I got out of it because I realized why I was in it. I had a mentality that was self-destroying. I was a pessimist and I didnt do anything to help with my situation. Then one day I woke up and pretty much just said ""Fuck it."" I improved my situation by improving my mentality. I lost weight, I gained friends, and I made a plan for myself. Everyone whos struggled with Depression has relapses, but for me, on average, each day is better and better. ', 'Poor word choice in my case, but the best example I can think of is someone dealing with a low paying job that they hate, but they keep working with a positive attitude and doing their best until they get a promotion or better job offer elsewhere. If you cant change your environment you can improve it, what exactly about it makes it so horrible for you?', '>I dont understand how people can wake up to a job they dont really like, go through the day, and still be relatively happyHonestly most people who are like this probably feel about how you do. They probably arent too happy, but they focus on the reasons why they have to do their job to get them through the day.And maybe that type of job will get you to meet new people, you never know. Sometimes you gotta roll with the punches until you can find a break. ', 'Then you just need to convince yourself you have a lot going for yourself and boost your self-esteem, look at the pros you have and live life displaying those. And your welcome, Ill help anytime.', 'Im right there with ya man, Ive done the list before, and Im sure there are more reasons we can add to the ""reasons to live"" column. If you need someone to talk to Im here.', 'The way I see it is that if I kill myself, yea Im going to Pain some people. One friend told me about how much it would Pain her and that just kinda broke me.But on the other hand, one day the Pain I feel will outweigh the Pain everyone else would feel, and when the scales tip in my favor, Ill be gone.', 'I wake up each morning with that same mentality of being done with it all, and slowly my character of being happy and joking seems to take over, its odd.Im in my senior year now and its just the same shit, different year. I dont sleep much because I just hate that feeling of waking up, Im constantly sleep deprived, and I get so angry in school I have to walk out of my classes daily. Its weird, my Numbness switches to so much Feeling angry I sit in class Tremor sometimes. I have someone I talk to, a guy I met over the summer who is in the same situation as me, and just chatting with him calms me down and makes me feel a bit more at ease. If you can find that person, just one person to talk to, not to give you advice, but to just chat with and vent to, it helps so fucking much. ', 'You need to work on that self-esteem, others only think your as good as you think you are. What about you makes you have low self-esteem? Single them out and work on them.If the girl says she likes you she most likely does, change your mindset from why would she like me to why wouldnt she? Everybody has positive qualities and she probably finds those in you that she really enjoys. Everybody has those doubts, its nothing major and dont get too worked up over them, but dont ignore them either. You need to find a happy medium and that changes from person to person. Just remember theres always atleast one person looking out for you who cares, rather it be a stranger online or a family member. ', 'Welcome!', 'Im better now, I still feel the hits every now and then, but it was a long time ago. Im mainly Worried that shell see me differently now...', 'Yea parents can be oblivious but they do care, just give them a chance and sometimes they can surprise you with what they can relate about with their own experiences. ', 'Itll be tough, the first step always is, but youll feel better once you have someone face to face to talk to about it, from what you said it seems both your mom is closer to you and vice versa so Id tell her. ', 'Just letting him know ""Im here for you man, whenever you need it, know that."" Can mean a lot.Its best to let someone tell you theyre Depression instead of prying them about it.', 'You have any info on meds? Which ones work for what and whatnot?', 'How old are you? Because if you are still in High school then odds are you havent seen the person you will end up falling in love with. Also if you dont think you can get over the feeling then you can read this article, its helped me out before on that feeling. http://bthaw.blogspot.com/2011/08/guide-to-limerence.html', 'Pm me anytime you want, if I dont respond within a few hours its because Im out with the family or some friends and Ill be back soon, I will always reply as fast as possible if you need me, and maybe the pastor forgot, just remind him and try to add a sense of urgency, or maybe he did tell your parents and your parents didnt take him seriously.', 'This helped me get over the first girl I fell for. Im not sure if its going to help you, but give it a shot. http://bthaw.blogspot.com/2011/08/guide-to-limerence.html', 'Yep, but honestly reading this thread has reassured me for some reason, it seems that since Im not alone in feeling this then maybe its normal, maybe everyone feels it but no one shares it and Im normal. Its grasping at straws but oh well.In all honesty it is really annoying to go through a smooth ride of not caring to be thrown a curve of feelings for a little while just to have it stop just as youre enjoying the change of pace. It seems the only escape from this is sleep which I dont mind.', 'Thats their job! They want to listen and help! Definitely go through with that appointment. ', 'I was ugly a year ago.I had a head of hair that I had not cut in half a year that was growing each and every fucking way. I didnt even know what shaving was so the patchy facial hair shit didnt help. I was 250 lbs and 5 foot 7 inches. I wore faded shirts a size too big and baggy ass jeans. My glasses were crooked and scratched and I just didnt care anymore.I changed all that though. I found a haircut that didnt make me look homeless. I shaved and now I keep clean shaven. I lost a good 90 pounds and put on a tad of muscle, and I found clothes that actually fit me. And most important of all, I found some confidence. If I can go from the person I was, that ugly person, then you can too. Im not saying you can be a male model, but you definitely can look better.', 'Dont bombard her with it gets better type phrases.I dont know if shes allowed a phone, but if she is, just sending her a message letting her know you care, I have a few saved on my phone for when I feel like letting go, and they help me to smile for a bit.If she cant have a phone, see if you can write her a note for her to keep saying the same thing. As for conversations, sometimes sitting there quietly and just putting an arm around her can say more than any words. ', 'But then shell be so happy when you manage to conquer the Depression and come out as a better person. ', 'Your Welcome. I dealt with my best friend trying to comfort me after I got drunk one night and told her about my Depression. Its scary. Also remember that the last thing any Depression person wants is pity. ', 'You may think so but I dont, the fact that you realize you make mistakes makes you a better person then most. What reasons cant you get help for? Also it doesnt matter if your gay or straight, people blow it out of proportion to be honest.', 'Life is an investment, you put time in, sometimes you get a profit sometimes you end up with a loss, you dont just accept the losses though. Youve put in this much time, Get something out of it!I gotta head off now, but anytime you feel down or Stress Im down to talk.', 'I havent been diagnosed professionally yet, but I know something is there. I can tell its Depression, just not how severe. One day Ill go to a therapist or something, but I have a general idea of what it is. Some person with a degree telling me what it is doesnt seem needed.', 'You can always change your circumstances, whether or not its for the better is for time to tell. If you really get stuck in a horrible job situation you can always change venue, I mean, your young, its cliche for me to say you have a lot of life ahead of you, but its true.', 'Then what do you care about? Everybody has something, it may be something you do for a hobby, it can be a pet, it can be a person you know or havent even met yet. ', 'I never had any close friends until these last two years but now I find myself not really enjoying their company anymore because I dont like the way they act, then I take a step back and realize I act the same entire way. The point is that if J and M lied to your face about hating you, J probably hates M and vice versa, a Tired dysfunctional group. You dont want to be a part of that group anyways, itll have the possibility to turn to shit in one weekend, as Ive witnessed myself. I cant promise you that youll make new friends easy, but I can promise that if you keep trying it will change, for the better or worse, its up to you to make happen. ', 'Well in that case then dont tell here, read that guide on limerence article I referenced, it helped me a few times. And if you cared about her friendship you wouldnt end it, youd just keep being friends, a lifelong friend is worth a lot and you should never throw that away. ', 'Convince her its not a phase, convince her you need professional help, and if youve attempted suicide I doubt its a phase. Maybe she thinks its the whole every teenager goes through ""Depression"" and they wont do anything self harming that seems to be the norm today.', 'No life is worth throwing away, remember that. You can change your attitude with some effort. Nothing you have tried brings you joy, maybe you need to find that one thing or one person that you will love. You just need to go out and meet new people and try new things, and keep going. ', 'The first reason is something that cant always be helped. What do you mean by my family doesnt treat whoever has a problem like some leper? And you may feel like you let them down, but imagine how theyll feel if you kill yourself. Also I believe your family would learn to accept you for who you are even if youre not straight, theyre your family and theyll love you. ', 'In that case disregard what I said about being in high school.Im assuming you havent told her yet, so think about it like this. You have 500$, this 500$ is yours, you wont lose this 500$, but all of a sudden someone offers you a bet, you could 100x your 500$ but you could also lose that 500$ and be broke. The chances are that youll lose the 500$ but theres always that chance youll end up being rich.Im not going to tell you to gamble your friendship or not as its a choice you really have to make yourself, but if youre not happy, youre the only person who can make you happy.', 'Document your story, what led to this? Give us some background on this. A different perspective will help and we can provide that. Give us a chance.', 'Why not at least tell us your story? Maybe someone can help you if you just tell us why it doesnt matter anymore. Why you feel so down on yourself? And there is always something you can do about it, but sometimes you just dont see it as an option at the time.', 'Sometimes these posts take a bit to get a reply.If you enjoy programming, go for that. But finish up your highschool year. Power through this year, take some slack classes senior year if you gotta, and then either go to a college designed for programming and the computer sciences or find a program that trains you for that specifically.', 'I was 55"", 15 years old, 280 pounds. I went through life eating food as I pleased, binging on that stuff. I guess looking bad when days were rough and I got low Id fill up my plate and eat away any feeling. One day I woke up, said fuck it, and decided to lose weight. I kept a log, I kept it going for 42 weeks, lost over 90 pounds, without any support, no one saying ""you keep going!"" or ""Good job!"". I kept my head down, and powered through. I dont know how I did it, I didnt try to find some motivating bullshit post aspiring me to do it, I just did it.My advice: dont just not eat, I tried that, I got sick. Food repulsed me, I couldnt eat more than a few bites of bread for a whole week. I was tired, groggy, it was awful. It took me months to get back to eating without hating myself. Start slow, count calories, if you gotta keep a notepad to write down what you eat and the calorie intake, FUCKING DO IT. I walked around with my phone calculating everything I ate. Dont overdo yourself, I lost 20 pounds in 3.5 weeks, bad idea. Say you burn 2k calories a day, if you eat 1700 a day, youll lose a pound a week.Dont accept that mentality of ""Ill be fat forever"". Only you can change you. ', 'I felt the same way at pretty much the same point in my life. I was in my Junior year of high school, I just started being social, and I was that funny guy who was usually happy and cracking jokes. But in reality I was numb.If you have one good friend, one super close person, someone you can talk to, it helps. >if it helps Im willing to give specific details of what Im Depression about (if I even am Depression)If youre comfortable sharing, go ahead, Ill gladly listen.', 'Your welcome, it was my pleasure to help. And I am above ecstatic that you are going to give it more time. And we all have those days, sometimes its not just days though, and it can be weeks, months, or even years, but they end, they will always end. To start with getting help you need to find someone you trust, can be a friend, family member, pastor or youth minister if you go to church, tell them your situation, and then you can try to pursue professional help. Something I never did when I went through it was get a buddy, someone you can text when youre feeling down and being irrational, someone who can put your world in a new perspective and help you at any time. Also just remember this one thing for me, please, just remember, when youre down on yourself and think nobody cares... Im here... Im hoping... I believe in you and above all, I care. ', 'You seem to just really lack motivation, you have to realize the first step is the hardest (super cheesy but true) and from there it does get easier. Showering makes me feel better, just make it routine, wake up, go into shower, get out, brush teeth, apply deodorant, put on outfit. It makes you feel fresh and new. Your science supervisor doesnt define where you can and will go in life. He may say youre not good enough but you are, and scholarships and grants will help pay for universities that you want to go to. You can change and will change if you just put the effort forward, dont let yourself down, or your family down, or anyone else down. Your young and have such a future ahead of you, just keep going. ']",Indicator
user-90,"['Im actually reading a bit more about it and it just seems like I am fine. Do admit though its a bit scary. Thanks for the help', 'I could deserve it, sure. I wouldnt want to.', 'Still fine. I dont get why people try to stop people from killing themselves if thats what their choice is. And I dont understand how killing myself is selfish or anything, because at any point I see myself suffering the most out of everyone.', '2 pills and half a small bottle of gin. I have never taken oxy and I havent drank in months. I think Im overreacting but this feels so intense.', 'To help do what? I meant if I was to continue, Im only perpetuating the cycle. People like me arent meant to thrive and reproduce.', 'I think Im gonna take more. The whole point was to make me feel good but I still cant stop Crying and now Im wide awake. It was scary but Im honestly kinda pissed it couldnt finish the job.']",Behavior
user-91,"['Im so glad I was able to help in some way. If theres anything else you want advice about, feel free to ask me, and Ill do my best to answer. I really hope everything works out alright for you.', 'Oh, damn, I feel so bad for you. Ive been through similar things. I was planning to kill myself in 8th grade (that was two years ago), and Im actually planning to kill myself tonight, but I feel like I can relate to you and possibly help you, so Im going to stick around for a bit longer, just to post this. First of all, youre not being an attention whore. Youre reaching out for help, and you deserve help. Your feelings and problems are absolutely valid and real. You seem like a Tired perceptive person, definitely not some kind of shallow teenager who blames her parents and complains about everything.It seems to me that youre suffering from depression, and probably an eating disorder. Depression is Tired serious, its not something that you can just get over, and you absolutely do need help. The Feeling hopeless and Feeling unhappy you feel isnt your doing; its an imbalance of chemicals in your brain, as well as a completely valid reaction to the Stress in your life. Its terrible to feel like youd rather die than live, and you deserve better. Is there anyone youd feel comfortable talking to about this? Like your sister or your girlfriend? Talking to someone wouldnt make you an attention whore. This is the kind of problem that you cant face alone.Also, from what youve described, Id say your mother absolutely is emotionally abusive and manipulative. Theres a difference between effectively punishing a child and being unnecessarily cruel to them. Your mother is being cruel and manipulative, and she has no right to treat you that way, no matter what happened to her as a child. She is responsible for your pshyical and Emotional upset wellbeing, regardless of whether she thinks of you as a ""good daughter"" or not, and it seems like shes done some serious damage to you. You shouldnt have to put up with that. Id suggest that you try to talk to a school counselor about it. It wont destroy your family, it will get you and your mother the help you need.If you want to recover from this, youre probably going to need medication and therapy. You deserve to recover and feel better, so you should absolutely try to get the help you need. I know it feels like people wont believe you, but I completely believe you, and there are others out there that understand what youre going through. It isnt too late for you to get help.I really hope this helps. Again, Im so sorry that you have to deal with this shit. Ill be here for you as long as Im still alive, if you want to talk to me.', 'Hi. I dont know how much help I can be, but do you wanna tell me whats bothering you?']",Behavior
user-92,"['Thats not how it ends.', 'Problems are different for everyone. But sometimes, it does help to often look at what you do have. Its the hardest thing in the world to think positive, I know. But you just gotta try it over and over and over.', 'How much longer until you can leave? the house I mean....', 'ADD. at least that what is sounds like.', 'You make sense. The final cut. The nerve I never had. It prolongs. But is there really hope?', 'Manifesting hope in some I dont quite know (as friendly as you seem) is risky. ', 'Thismay not work for you but its worth a try.  Tell me, do you dream often? ', 'Ya I hate this fucking game. Knew this shit would happen. Good night, fuck you, and hopefully this will end.', 'It cant change. People do it everyday with no impact...', 'I can understand the feeling of not feeling brave because you are too scared to end it. I get that. It feels Im not brave enough to get over it and not brave enough to end it... I get that... but sometimes I look at the past  and I wonder, everything I tried but chickened out on, Maybe Im stronger than o think for lasting this long... do you see that?', 'I cant go through with this vicious cycle much longer. I see hope? for how long till it is ripped from me, further building the wall. I want help. But I feel I cant. Please. What do...', 'More like just a Sharp Pain fix that brings you lower than you were before. ', 'You think you can wait that long?', 'I have tried so many things. Counsel. Meds. Drugs. Nothing works. They just add to the wall. I am alone. I always will be. What does my death change then?', 'That Fear of what waits on the other side is all thats kept me here, makes me a coward,really, but Im glad you are fine now.', 'For the most part, everything you say is true. But what does this change... really', 'Its this fucking wall. I cant. I separate my self from the world. God. This is insane. No one sees. I try to reach out. Him, her, them, they all turn away, break me. they are just another brick in the wall. Each brick etched with the engravings of things past done. People past known. Each brick further separating me from ever changing. Being alone. I dont want to be alone. I think I can scale it. Sometimes it seems I could escape. But it was only a fantasy. The wall was to high, as you can see. No matter how hard I try I can not break free. And worms eat into my brain.', 'Its funny how everyone can tell someone else not to do it. But no can tell themselves... anyway, I have a few questions. Are you Suicidal because you are straight? Or did you just lose your closest friend that helped  you with other problems. And how confident are you about whats on the other side?', 'In the end how far does hope really get you.', 'How long have you been cutting? I know Ive been doing it for almost 5 or 6 years now...', 'Well I can help you with that problem. However it may take time, would youve willing to work with me on this?', 'I know what its like to feel alone, AfterTexasRed (love that song), But even though it may be the hardest thing to embrace, there are so many people, so many options. It may not come instantly, But dont give up . finding people who care and understand is the first step ', 'Well that is currently a broad statement, so tell me what isnt making you happy.', 'Wow. I want to first apologize for the goddamn grammar assholes. I understood your post just fine. Of all the places to complain. God such assholes. Anyway. For some reason, this post really appeals to me. That game. It touches me two. Every aspect, ever thing that happens I can relate it to a struggle in life. The things the game has made me realize about life. It all makes sense. I thought I was the only one but you totally understand. But there is a better ending to the game. You know that.', 'I hope you get this. If you dont mind pming me. I dont know but for some reason I feel like I need to talk to you... ', ' I seriously cant believe that.', 'I just wanted to emphasize how strong you are', 'It has shown me things I could not understand. And yet I still learn. Do I wish I did not know? Maybe. Ignorance is death. But knowing. Isnt it knowing death? Same fate as ignorance. Only you see it coming.', 'Never considered military?  ', 'I am not gonna lie. Id have just killed them all and accepted jail if I were in you place. God. People like you lift my spirit. ', 'You said you cant sleep well, is it bad dreams or just Stress in general.', 'I dont know. Maybe.', 'Hey, look. I hope you dont mind if this is long... but well it seems a lot of your Stress is directly related to precise events and feeling. You did a Tired Good job with your post. Explained Eventing well and made it to where I can understand. Thats a talent right there. But I took chemistry only a year ago and I liked it. Maybe if you need I could maybe help with that. Also talking about how your days go and stuff. I really feel for you. Really... a lot of the things you explain reflect me only a year ago. I feel like I can really help you, I can understand everything you are going through. If you dont want to talk to someone for too long I understand but it really does help to have a friend you can truly say anything to. Whether it be how you feel or something that happened. Someone to listen and understand can truly truly truly make a difference. If you dont mind pm me and we can talk. If not then I hope things go for the better. :)', 'Cutting and stuff like that are hard habits to break arent they... but they can be overcome. You have someone with you who cares and looks out for you. ', 'Perhaps. But surely you cant expect a simple reason like that to help people.', 'Cutting is one of the hardest habits to break... even still I fall back to it. If you want pm me so we cant talk about this nore.', 'Does society mean that much to you?', 'Those who see, leave. I mean no one can so far can bear to hear. So they either block it out or leave. Some try. They stay. They dont last long.', 'I know. Its the worst... no one sees my left arm. Its become second nature to naturally hide it... where do you typically cut?', 'Lucid dreaming. Learn it, and life and its importance changes.', ' you have made good points seeing that everything people seem to say explain that cant help you. The decision you are Turing to make is the biggest decision in you life, seeing as you are trying to end it, so I just wonder, is this what you want, or do you feel you are forced to do this, seeing it as all you have left.', 'Sometimes it working towards something can take your mind off things, but have you ever heard of lucid dreaming? ', 'You said finally when mentioned the job. So I understand that you have been looking for them for awhile with little success until now?', 'When Im alone, which is all the time, I lucid dream.... you should try it... ', 'Explain alone, please.', 'Unfortunately ', 'There is almost no exceptions to rational suicide. What you lose, is so much more than what you gain. ', 'i lucid dream... it kinda becomes my reality, which i guess could be unhealthy but it works...', 'It may help to know that you arent the only one. I use to cut a lot too. Not so much anymore (although sometimes habits resurfaced ) but I was always terrified of someone seeing. I cut the most on my left arm, so whenever I wasnt wearing long sleeves I would always keep people to my right. Whether it was a bud or a girl I really liked.... no one got on my left side. Today its just second nature now. I watch peoples eyes, know when its safe. I dont even think about it anymore. I just gained an instinct to hide.... I guess what my point is is that you arent alone on this, and what you experience is just a consequence of cutting.', 'Talked to counselors, took meds. All just bricks in the wall.', 'Honestly, it normally takes a lot of building up to make a big decision such as suicide. It Tired well could have even started when he was young, still playing on the computer while you watched. He was smart enough to where if he wanted to hide it (and most people do) he could have done it for years.', 'You said you were afraid of the unknown, just to clarify, cab you explain that a bit more?']",Behavior
user-93,"['I feel extremely Suicidal pretty much all the time, I know how it is.I started talking to a certain person about it, seeking help (not a therapist). She told me that people will miss me if I were to do it. This is Tired true. People WILL miss you Tired, Tired much. Even you dont even know would miss you if you committed suicide. That girl who you talked about, if you were to do it, you know how sad she would be? She would most likely cry her eyes out, man.I know Im not a helpful person or anything, and Im sorry if I come off a little stubborn, I just had a fight with my father so Im a bit agitated. But what Im getting at is that people will miss you, more than anything. Ill link a video that has a misleading title, but it helped me a bit.Heres the video (Like I said, misleading title): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-K-6r0mSMAI suggest you watch that video immediately. At the beginning he sounds a bit like a douche but it does help.']",Ideation
user-94,"['You are such a wonderful person - for Lords sake DONT YOU EVER GO ANYWHERE!! ', 'I dont think this advice and tone is really appropriate for this subreddit, but Id like to piggy back off of it because now its been said and its out there. Does the thought of leaving your spouse give you any kind of relief?  I am concerned that you might be with someone who is making you question your self-worth more than you already do. I was a miserable miserable person until I hit my 20s and I am THANKFUL that I was single through it because I had to work on myself first. You sound like youre going to make it through the night. This is just some food for thought. The advice youve been given tonight is really great. Definitely take things minute by minute, and remember that you have options (and you have us). ', 'I only suggest it because you said youre freaked out about the thought of him knowing what you look like and you not knowing what he looks like. If you can get past that though, thats great. For the record, its easier to transfer than it is to initially get in as long as your grades are fantastic....but you did mention trouble with going to class. So that might not be an option.Running off to another school might be a bad idea anyway, in terms of facing your problems, but it was just a thought. Was curious if youd considered it. I think its good that you would tough it out where you are, and its a testament to your character. ', 'Honestly? That is not that bad. My brother lost his job and he JUST got a job at the 6 month mark, and he got it by a thread. Keep looking. You will absolutely find something. Im curious about details.  Why are you completely alone?  And why are your co-workers rooting against you?', 'Im so sorry about whats happened to you. Kudos for seeking so much help - counseling, psychiatry, AND youre here! You are a fucking star, as far as Im concerned. What really strikes me here is how much you said youve improved since you came to college. Think about how much farther you can go! This will be a healing process, but I truly believe its worth going through so that you can continue to grow, to have a social life, and to lose some of that anxiety. If youve come this far, dont let a pig pull you back. Keep up the good work. You are going to be fine! And you have people here to talk to anonymously. ', 'My mom committed suicide also, four years ago.  Wed had a fight the Asthenia prior, so I was left feeling Tired guilty and uncomfortable.  I also knew that she had been researching barbituates online, and I never mentioned it to anyone until after everything went down.  She had a life long history of wanting to die, and shed tried many times.  Its only tragic because she was SO secretive about it, and to any other person on the street who met her, she was almost perfect.  Its really hard to wrap your head around the whole thing, but at the end of the day, just make sure to remind yourself that this isnt your fault, that you did not contribute, and that the choice for her to die was not yours. These are hard times, but youre strong and youll make it through.  I just do my best to talk about it as often as I can, to share my story, and to always work through the feelings Im having.  Thats all you can do, babe. So sorry for your loss.  Just know that there are people here who understand what youre going through.  PM me any time! ', '>I didnt know how he would react but I wanted just for one time for him to be like. ""Yeah I am mad because I love you so much I cant lose you"" I just want to hear soemthing like that. ""I cant live without you"" but no. It doesnt sound to me like you want to die - it sounds to me like you want to be loved.  We all do.  Just know that you are loved and supported here.  I know it doesnt sound like much (because we are strangers), but sometimes you have to take the comfort where you can get it.  Everyone here wants to see you happy. Ive learned over the years that we have to take ownership of our emotions and make the choice and the effort to be happy with OURSELVES first.  You sound like such a smart and Emotional upset person.  Put that energy toward YOURSELF.  If youre in a relationship with a person who would brush you off when you threaten to off yourself, then Id venture to say that this relationship is not worth having.  Not to mention, it doesnt sound healthy on your end either to want to off yourself in hopes that youll get a reaction out of your SO (Im not accusing you of doing this intentionally - I dont think that you are.  I think youre just upset & crazed.  I have BEEN there!). My mantra these days is Id MUCH rather be alone & happy than be with someone & miserable.  I have been single for over a year (and before that short relationship, was single for a LONG LONG time), and Ive never been happier.  And trust me, Ive been through some dark days.  Ive gone to therapy, Ive put in the time to make myself healthier emotionally... you can do the same. ', 'Im going to go the unpopular route here and tell you NOT to think about the baby as the primary factor. I couldnt agree LESS with any advice that tells you to ""live for your baby instead of living for your ex."" That right there is the route of your problems. What about you, Tab?The baby is there, we know that, you know that. You obviously plan on having him/her, raising him/her, etc. - but the primary issue you brought up (your ex boyfriend) seems to be the trigger here, and so I would like to focus on YOU and what YOU WANT and how YOU are feeling, absent all of these other factors (like...being pregnant). Whats tipping you off here is the poor relationship with your ex. What youve experienced is not uncommon. He cheated and you wanted to reconcile - you wanted to try to forgive and forget. So you came up with these terms, right? The terms you came up with alarm me a bit. You cannot BE with a person that you cannot trust. If you have to take away his FB privileges, and ask that he not so much as ""speak"" to other women, that sounds extraordinarily unhealthy to me (for BOTH of you), and I think you should want more for yourself. Why do you want to be with a man that you have to give rules to? Youre about to have a baby - and by the sounds of it, youd be dealing with two babies! What Im getting at here is that you are basically off the hook now that you have broken up with him - please try to think of it that way. You are mature enough to be apart from him and still let him be in your babys life. How about being single for a bit? Planning for motherhood? Spending time with your girlfriends? Do you have any friends you can trust? Mom or Dad? Whoever it is, I would immerse yourself in their company. Let them know that you are struggling emotionally. The bottom line is that you have to live for YOURSELF, first and foremost. You have to love you enough to hang out with you every single day! If you dont have that, what do you have left when the people you thought you could trust fail you?? You have to have yourself to fall back on. You can build that back up, I promise. I have been there. It takes time, and effort, but you can do it. Xoxoxoxo from a reddit stranger who wants you to feel better! The Pain will fade. But dont let it fade by compromising yourself - keep a healthy distance from baby daddy for now. Involve him where necessary but proceed with caution. Spend time with peopleyou trust. Think about YOU. Stop thinking about everyone else! ', 'Youre going to continue to be in a bad place if you choose to think this way. If you have a bad attitude, how can you expect a great job, anyway?? There is NOTHING wrong with community college. You get a degree and you can do many many things. I recommend doing some research on it - I think youd be surprised! ', 'She is your friend, but she is not your responsibility. As much as she is a victim of Depression, Depression victims sometimes victimize others. They are miserable, and they project that onto others and make them feel responsible for their misery. What she did was her choice, and you may have been the trigger, but if it wasnt you, it would be someone else. What would your options have been? You had the option to date her anyway out of pity, or do what you did and be honest. There are no alternatives. You did the right thing. She needs help (if she pulls through), but its HER responsibility to get that help. Its a long road. ', 'Well - if things are this bad, then theres nowhere to go but up (that sounds cliche but its true).  If you keep up your therapy regimen, you will feel better. It just takes time, and in the immediate wake of this trauma, its always the worst. Would you ever consider transferring schools, just out of curiosity?']",Ideation
user-95,"['Right now? Im scared. Im Worried my girlfriend/best friend will leave because Im having a hard time managing my shit, even though she hasnt given me reason to think shell leave. The pills arent working like they did, either.Im angry at my ex for emotionally abusing me, and Im pissed off that she doesnt feel guilty about what it did to me, the year of alcoholism and the severe Depression and the never-ending Anxiety and the near-suicide...But whatever I feel, Im still breathing.I guess that counts for something, doesnt it?', 'Im not entirely sure what to say to this, but I did PM you.I dont have much experience with Suicidal tendencies, but I can tell you that you are valued, and that, as Little_miss_naughty said below, there are people who know you ""behind the smile"", and there are people who want to get to know you behind it, Im sure.And about being ""childish""? How do you think youre childish? Im just a bit curious here.', 'Heh. Its good to know that there are others going through similar things. Its always bad to feel like youre the only one', 'I dont know. Im not sure anyone can do anything. It feels really hopeless. But thank you for the kind words.', 'Hello, OP: Just reading this made me feel better about life.Just wanted to let you know that youve made someone smile today.Cheers!,E', 'Thank you for the kind words', 'Hey, champ.What the other people have said is also true, but... my social worker says cutting is addictive, and I believe him. The first time I cut, I gave my friends my knives because I was Worried, since it was unusual behaviour for me. I spent the next day wanting to Bleeding again, and the third day, I scratched my skin open with some office implements lying around my dorm.It was just like when I started smoking -- I wanted the next hit. The difference is, the hit was a lot more immediately dangerous. And it was temporary. Its a dopamine/serotonin hit, I think. Or epinephrine. Whatever. Its basically a drug, from my understanding.So I would take control in ways that dont involve slicing yourself up. Its not easy, its fucking horrid. But you can do it. If you need help, do not be afraid to seek it. Ive done it, and I can personally tell you its a bitch. But its better than Bleeding all over your clothes/furniture/stuff.Good luck, holmes. You can PM if you need me.', 'Theyre going. It feels like an uphill battle, but its at least a battle in progress. Yourself?']",Behavior
user-96,"['I like to play guitar, ukulele, sometimes the bass, and sometimes the saxophone. ', 'I couldnt quite understand what you were actually trying to say, would you mind explaining it so I have a better understanding of what is going on?', 'They dont win. Theyll never win. Want to talk?', 'I dont know. She only invited me because she doesnt want me at home. Ill tell her that I dont want to be at home and then shell invite me on these trips. Its more out of pity than anything.', 'I may star rambling, so sorry in advance.As a kid, I was sexually abused. That didnt help much. Then in school I was always made fun of for being stupid. My teachers would always imply it, my friends would make jokes and be shocked if I got anything higher than a 75, my mother told me all the time that I couldnt be in any of the AP or Honors classes because I wasnt good enough. My mother also hates me. She hit me a lot growing up. She always told me thatI should be better, that she was ashamed of me. I dont talk to her much anymore, and when I do, she doesnt like the decisions Ive made in my life. I just feel alone and that no one would miss me. Me being a stupid, worthless piece of space.', 'When I dont cut, and realize I should, I play guitar. Then when I get bored of that I play a favorite video game of mine. I also do write sometimes. But it always seems to be going back to the cutting when Im really upset. I feel like I need to cut sometimes.', 'I hope its good. Ive never actually been camping before...', 'I draw and write and such. It never really works. It works for periods of times, and then I just get mad and upset again. Its like a plague in my head. I just want it to go away.', 'Thank you. It makes me happy to think that.', 'I havent been Tired happy for a while now. Im so Stress about everything and nobody cares anymore. I just want to go away.', 'I honestly feel the same as you sometimes. Wondering why my friends are still beside me even though Im so messed up, but to be honest with you, its because they care.Your girlfriend cares Tired deeply about you. Its why shes still around. She loves you no matter who you are. I know a lot of this is hard, and you feel stuck. Like youre never going to get out. But, believe me, you will. You could find something that occupies your time and keeps you entertained. You could draw, write, play an instrument, go shopping, anything really. Just do little things that keep your attention so it wont try to go back to the bad thoughts. It will be hard at first. It will seem difficult and it will feel like you cant do it, but after a while, you will feel better. I promise you that you will.If you ever feel the need to talk about anything, I am always here to listen. Stay Strong my friend.', 'Whats up my friend?', 'I feel like if I dont get better soon, theyll get mad at me and leave. That scares me more than it should.', 'My friend does know about the cutting.', 'I have. I do. Im way to busy to be doing it everyday though. I like to go for walks around my neighborhood or do some crunches in my living room. ', 'Ill be your friend...', 'I should be going camping with my best friend in a few weeks. Not sure if Ill make it that long to be honest.', 'Message me. Ill listen to you. ', 'Its nice to meet you too :) Someday I hope to feel better. And maybe someday I will.', 'Ill try to get out of my house. Due to other circumstances, I wont be leaving much. I am going camping with my best friend so, I have that to look too. I hope youre doing well. ', ' Im sad about so many things. I think the main thing is mostly my parents. I still live with them and its so aggravating. My mom likes to rag on me and make fun of me for everything. She doesnt know about the self harm. She doesnt know that the things she calls me, (bitch, whore, fat), Pain me more than just as a joke. Im Illness and Tired of it. Im Illness and Tired of everything. I dont think anyone will really miss me when Im gone. I know my parents wouldnt. They make notion of how little they care about me everyday. Anytime I actually try to talk to them, they get upset and call me a liar and ridicule me about it. Then they go and say that I can always tell them anything. Well, I really cant if they wont fucking believe me and seem to just laugh at me. My mom likes to tell everyone that I always tell her everything, starting from when I was a teenager until now. That were so close and all that jazz. Well, were not. She doesnt know shit. Thats some of it.', 'I do try to talk to my cousin and all, but sometimes its hard knowing that she thinks everything is alright. She had cut off her entire dads side of the family because her parents were getting divorced. I tried to help her but she never knew, or cared, what me or my brothers felt about our only cousin not wanted anything to do with us. I think Im just confused about everything. I will most likely try to look up everything. Thank you.', 'Its alright. Theres no place to swim here either. Just pools and such. ', 'Thank you :) Ill remember that.', 'Ive tried moving out, but I dont make enough money to actually find a place to live. Most of my friends also live with their parents or at whichever college they go too. My friends from school live in other places far from where I live, with their parents, so its really difficult trying to find a place with them. I talk to a few of my friends about all my problems, but some of them have no idea how I feel or just dont really try to help. Its frustrating.', 'When I was younger I was sexually abused. It Pain me, quite a lot. Ever since that, I never felt good enough for anyone. I felt worthless because he did it and saw I wasnt going to mean anything to anyone. I didnt tell my parents until years later. I never felt like I could tell them anything. They always told me I wasnt as smart as my brothers. They always made me feel stupid. More so my mother than my father. My friends did the same thing too. I was always the stupid one, the one who was just kept around for the jokes. If I got anything higher than an 80, it seemed as though the apocalypse was happening. I felt okay for years, sure there were times I felt stupid and worthless but I never dwelled on it because I was young and my attention was always going elsewhere. In 8th grade, one of my friends had become Tired close to me and forced me to tell them everything. All because I stood up to other kids about making fun of my friend. I never opened up to people easily, but my friend was pushing me to open up. I got so confused and freaked out most of the year. Until I snapped at them one day and moved on with life, going to a different high school and making new friends. Now, years later after Ive finally told my parents, everythings getting worse. My parents dont believe me. My mom is worse than ever, and I keep thinking about it. All the time. Its getting so bad. I promised my best friend I wouldnt Pain myself again, and Im 10 days clean, but I feel like I want too. Im getting worse again, and I feel more confused than ever.', 'I havent had much interest in seeing a physiatrist. I feel like I should though. I dont cut anymore though, I had gotten out of that bad habit. Thank you.', 'Thank you. That made me smile. Made my day actually. Thank you. ', 'Its the only thing that I can really do. Im not good at anything else.', 'Theres been a lot going on in life. It brings me down a lot. I dont like being down. I dont like hurting myself. But it feels like its the only thing I can do. I want to change, but I dont know how. Its like theres this plague in my head that keeps telling me No, youre not going to get happy. And it brings me down even more. I dont know what else to do.', 'Haha well then I hope it rains :)', 'A while. Ive been Worried about stuff for about 6 or 7 months now after being Stress free for a little over a year. I just cant seem to get away from my thoughts.', 'Just, dont really see a point in living anymore.', 'I dont know how. I know I want to stop this. I just dont know how to bring myself to stop. Im really scared. ', 'Its okay. I hope things get better for you. You always have me to talk too. ', 'I dont really know the difference between a real hug and a fake hug.', 'Im not Tired good at most of them to be honest.', 'Hey, whats going on? Want to talk about it?', 'Just what she says and the way she acts around me. She doesnt seem all that happy to be around me. ', 'Thank you. I know Im just some stranger on the Internet, but thank you for helping. I try to tell myself this everyday, but it doesnt necessarily always work. Im trying. I really am. But, I never know if the dark side of my head will win. Thank you Derrick.And Im Lilly by the way.', 'Sometimes I think that shes only friends with me because she feels bad about me not having any other real friends, and she wouldnt want me to be left alone. She just feels sorry for the messed up sad kid.', 'Really depends I guess. We usually watch TV. Sometimes we play a board game, or go swimming or what not. Just depends on the season.']",Behavior
user-97,"['And how does that make you feel? Depressed?', 'Its when you realise that today is better than yesterday and you dont need to worry about tomorrow because it hasnt happened yet.', 'None of those things are your fault, therefore you shouldnt let it ruin your life. As a person who went through similar occurrences, I found an outcome in using my skills to break out of my bad cycle of life. Ive always enjoyed drawing and was quite good at it but at uni I didnt study anything of the sorts and flunked (twice btw). I then put all effort into the only thing that seemed worth my time which was drawing. I submitted art online and was hired hired by a small company and am now an illustrator. I live by myself, far away from my family. I have already tried to commit suicide twice a few years ago. It obviously failed, but the truth is it really is never a solution. I hope that you understand that people are never born into an equally peaceful environment. You need to take charge of your existence. As for the horrible ordeal you suffered as a child, it truly enraged me to hear that. I understand what its like to have parents like that. Constantly feeling that you have been a wasteful burden to them. I am no psychologist, but I will always help through a conversation if you need someone to talk to.', 'Thanks. I dont really like therapists and such so I usually work out my own problems. My parents kinda blame me in a way. They wont say it but their Common cold attitude and reaction to me explains it all. My friends all looked at me as the responsible one. So they dont really know how to offer much advice. Thing is all that I have now is my cell phone and laptop. So Im glad that I could actually get this out before I sank lower. In a way it was a method of restoring my faith in humanity to know that people would at least acknowledge my pitiful cry even if I felt alone.', 'I live in Johannesburg, South Africa. Here the police are more concerned about lining their pockets first before helping their citizens. I know I sound anti-patriotic but if you experienced my life on a daily basis then you would understand. Here filing a police report is only done to add to a statistic. Not because officers and investigators are going to actively follow up the case. I have lived a fairly good life. My family is wealthy but I had to leave and start my own life eventually. ', 'Really thank you. You guys are a massive help', 'May be the most up voted post in this sub.', 'That is like some real awesome wording you have there. Thank you. Im actually at my favourite coffee shop now. I went for a stroll and easily just made a decisi', 'I am deeply sorry for your loss. But the fact that you share your experience means you will get through this. I do hope things improve for you. ', 'Happy - Pharrel Williams', 'He works at an advertising agency. Doing small menial jobs like data capture and lists and shit. He doesnt exactly know what hes doing himself. He never saves cash and constantly borrows from me. He literally is what most people become if they dont follow through with university. ', 'I have a housemate/friend who studied with me. He dropped out after 1st semester. Hes 25 with no degree or a proper career aspirations. Theres no need for you to feel Depression about still being in college. Your patience will pay off soon. Hang in there.', 'When i felt this way, I started to go for long runs. I just feel that if I keep running I might end up on the right path, not literally but I feel that my mind works when theres adrenalin pumping through my body and a sense of power in my legs. Its almost as if Im no longer tied to anything. I could run. Keep running and never return. But I realise that all I am and all I have is this portion of life. I want to cling to it. My crappy home. My work. My last piece of existence is now something I treasure. It may not be great as others but I can always dream. Dream and work and live until I can say, ""This is my fucking life!""', 'Truth be told, death is a way of dealing with a problem. But it is not a solution. I sometimes get thoughts like ""at this exact moment my existence is nothing"". I even fantasise about my death. But I dont think that disappearing into nothingness is the answer. Life never is easy. Its all up to how much you make of yours. My advice to you is to find something in life more ""comforting"" than the death you are craving.', 'Before I respond to OP, just wanted to say that I love your name.']",Attempt
user-98,"['Extreme Depression and loneliness. I do it to cope. And to distract myself from this worthless excuse for a life', 'Yeah, Ive used everything from wiring to circuitry (long story) to exacto knife blades, and I carry one with me most of the time', 'Thanks for sharing, thats Tired different than what happened to me', 'This really quite describes me Tired well indeed, most days, I have no qualms with death, but dont seek it out', 'Even if they arent old enough to know you, growing up without a father is one of the hardest things to do. Children need support, not economic support, but love and compassion. Sure your wife can supply some, but you can supply more loving kindness than you probably think. They will grow under one parent, but thrive under two. even a stepfather, no matter how caring, is not as good as your actual father. Biological parents tend to be more loving. Your children need you. Your wife needs you. ', 'For me, what works is I wear Tired thin long sleeved shirts. They are usually as thin or thinner than your average t shirt. Also, if my small knowledge of science is correct, white reflects light/heat better than black. So if that is true (not 100% positive), then try to go for lighter colors on clothing. Best of luck to you! ', 'Thank you so much <3', 'In my experience, it has been mostly the first, giving up on themselves. My father fatally shot himself back in 2012, and he left a note that explained his reasoning, and waht sttod out to me is this: ""I have lost any sense of compassion towards myself. I have lost all of my will to live. This has been replaced by a frequent urge to die..."" and a further section that included various physical issues such as partilal blindness and nerve damage which I wwould rather not continue to write about. I too fell under the first set, I gave up on myself, and I decided that I was too bad a person for anyone to tolerate. I decided that I was a terrible person and deserved death for the way I mistreated others. I am sure in some cases people have given up on the world, though this is just my experiences.Source:Father/friends are/were Suicidal, am Suicidal myself', 'Thanks <3', 'Thanks all! You guys rock', 'I sharpen and reuse, or hide them. Cant risk them being found in the trash', 'Adding to this, sorry not in an edit, Im on my phone, will transition this to an edit later, but I have hidden this lie from so many people, my boyfriend, my friends, my family, my counselors, my teachers, etc. I dont know how to come clean of all this. Im sorry to sound desperate, but I am.', 'Remember this, whatever happens. We all care, we all want you to be happy and safe. No matter how you look, act, or who you are friends with or how much money you have, we all, here at reddit, care for you. Maybe not the best way to put it, but its certainly true. <3', 'Better than nothing. Thank you :)', 'Something similar happens to me. I cut to relieve stress, sometimes relieves Depression as well. If I am super Stress and depressed, I have to cut, its my only way out. So similar yet different I guess :/', 'Thank you <3 small comments like these make a huge difference', 'Typing on my phone, will expand this later. I think the same as you,I believe nobody out there cares for new and would be better off without me, but think about the way this would affect your children and your family. When my father committed suicide (I was 12 at the time) it made my life an endless pit of sorrow that still affects me several years later. It impacted my grades, my social life, and plunged me into a bout of Suicidal attempts and depression, both of which last to this day. Nobody would wish this on their children. Your wife would be devastated, she would have so many loose ends to tie up, so much Pain to go through. You seem like a great person, and I know you wouldnt wish such Pain on her or your children. If you cant find any reason to live, then live for them. They are better off with a great father and husband like you than no father at all. Hang in there. We all care for you, your family and reddit.']",Behavior
user-99,"['Though going overseas wouldnt solve the principal issue of no human companionship, thats a pretty good response from your teacher. He/she seems like a fairly sensible person.Thanks for the response.', 'Ill have a look into whats around in my area. From memory there arent many in my city that arent only for the seriously mentally unwell.', 'Thanks Nyctor, Ill have a watch/listen.', 'I may not agree entirely with what you say, but I like you.All I can promise is that Ill think carefully about what youve said.', 'I have, I just get lethargic/sleepy unfortunately. Mixed with alcohol I get Tired, Tired, sick.', 'In a sense what youre recommending is in line with what someone else recommended, change. I wonder how far Ill need to change in order to find peace from this; whether Ill need to become an entirely different person. I suppose if Im ready to walk away from life it doesnt matter does it? Either way I die in some sense.If you met me in real life youd find me far less interesting, and I expect youd be far less willing to give me the benefit of the doubt with regards to my personality.Due to Tired personal reasons along with my general lack of social skills, finding love is impossible for me, which is one major part of the problem. Its not just me feeling sad and not wanting to put effort into it, its essentially impossible. Ive been trying to grapple with the idea of spending the rest of my days alone for over a year now and its been one of the hardest things to get to grip with. I dont think Ill ever get comfortable with the idea.But then maybe I can change into a different person and distract myself until I die alone of Malignant neoplastic disease at 80.', 'Its hard to explain. I can talk and make chit-chat, I can fake social enthusiasm if need be, and I can talk about a wide range of topics, but I lack the ability to really connect with people somehow. Either I cant keep conversations going, or they lose interest and gradually decrease contact with me. It also doesnt help Im awkward as hell, generally quiet, and seem to shut down when Im socialising in a group.Perhaps partly because Ive grown up so socially isolated, I just cant fit in anywhere and have so little to contribute to potential friendships and I think people can pick up on that. So theyll be polite and talk to me, but its all superficial with no intention on their part to include me as part of their social circle.Ive learnt and developed automatic social responses so I seem far more well-adjusted in public than I actually am, all it takes is a five-minute conversation with me to discover that its a sham, and theres actually nothing behind the curtain but smoke and mirrors.', 'The question is, is it too late to change the trajectory considering how much time Ive spent on it? It all feels so overwhelmingly difficult, both impossible and pointless. I dont think its something I can manage on my own, even doing all the courses in the world.Youll have to forgive me, I can feel the onset of the Depression hitting me again and its making it harder to do anything by the minute.', 'Funnily enough having goals were what was causing the Depression last time around. I got rid of it by giving up on all the goals and dreams I had, mostly by convincing myself they were all unachievable no matter what I did.', 'Thanks Mudlily, I appreciate the time youve spent here.', 'I appreciate the time youve taken to write all that out. It seems that bars and sports clubs aside, you favour simply initiating conversations with random people until it becomes habitual, hoping for the best that some of these random encounters with bear fruit.If I cant make friends with the people I see and talk to nearly every day at work, what makes you think random people I have no connection at all with will be better? I have to say, no one Ive ever spoken to makes a habit of starting conversations with complete strangers, even at bars. They generally stick to people they already know or friends of friends so they have something to break the ice with. And youre asking me, a socially inept, defective subhuman to be able to have those kinds of conversations with strangers that most people cant or dont want to do. That requires social skills and nerve well above that of the average person to do well.Like I said, I do appreciate your response and I respect the time it took to write it, Im afraid theres just something fundamentally wrong with my wiring, Im not able to just converse and make friends, I never have, and never will.Also my method is guaranteed to work, 100% success rate, and doesnt involve any of the actions you listed, so dont worry about that.', 'Thats a Tired interesting story. Ive often thought highly of Zen and Stoic philosophy but have never spent the time to put them in practice.Youve given me some food for thought, at the Tired least it might stave off the worst of the Depression temporarily.', 'You remind me a bit of myself then. I developed what I can only think of as a social phobia in secondary school (High school). I thought everyone was watching and judging me, laughing at my appearance, and so on. I was terrified of going into public places and could barely speak with strangers. It persists in a form even today (When I hear people laughing I have to remind myself its not about me) but thankfully the worst of it is past me now.So youd recommend some form of group therapy then?', 'Could you elaborate more on this epiphany?', 'I forgot to mention I did browse those subreddits.Id like to think things could someday improve, I just cant imagine a scenario in which that could happen.', 'More or less. To put it precisely, in order to have any kind of social interaction, I have to be someone other than me. Another persona that appears more charming and interesting than I actually am. The moment I start dropping the act, the moment people start being less interested in talking to me.It eventually gets to the point where I just dont know how to respond and end up either not responding at all or reaching for some pre-thought canned response that best fits.Of course I could just never drop the act and have plenty of ""friends"", but theyd be fair-weather friends at best and living that kind of lie seems worse than death.', 'Im going to wait until my mother dies so she wont have to deal with it. Besides, like I said, no one will realise Ive killed myself for quite some time, if ever.', 'Thanks for sharing your story and Im sorry to hear things are so bad for you. Lets hope we can both find something worthwhile in this world before we take that final, drastic, step.', '1) Yes, and as Im below-average in attractiveness, I found Tired few were interested.2) I play video games but Im fairly boring, I doubt anyone would enjoy talking to me, except calling me ""FAG!1"", ""NEWB!"", ""GTFO"", etc.3) I appreciate the idea, and I have considered doing that kind of thing. Just signing up for random things, except it doesnt solve the fundamental problem of not being able to connect with people. Id be on a bowling team or turn up for scuba diving and Id just be there. We might make idle chit-chat or talk shop but thats all Id be left with. They, just like nearly everyone else, would have zero interest in forming any real kind of friendship with me. Itd be just like my interactions with people at work.Then once its over Id go home and be none the better for it.  I feel this would work well for someone whos naturally gregarious and talkative but a little shy when meeting new people. Im not naturally talkative, Im quiet, Im introspective, I dont contribute anything to group situations. A non-person basically.Again, I appreciate the effort you went to with this, but Im a lost cause and someone not made for this world clearly.', 'I garden and exercise. I tried learning to play music to ease the isolation but Im terrible at it, no talent at all, so its no fun, and the less said about me attempting art the better. I recently got cats and they help a little, its a shame Ill have to find a new home for them before I go.The problem is these things can only ever distract me temporarily from the lack of human companionship. Theres no escaping it. The thing is I can meet and talk to people but Im incapable of developing true friendship, the best I can do is develop a circle of distant acquaintances. Nothing else interests me, I dont care about money or success (Whatever thats defined as by society now). Im also completely talentless so theres little else I can do other than go to work every day until I die.Alcohols the only medication that works but even that has its limits. I tried SSRIs but they had almost no effect and eventually stopped working completely within months.', 'Its funny you should say that. Ive been trying to convince a girl I work with to follow her dreams and live the life shes always wanted and shes started taking my advice seriously. Today she asked in a roundabout way, about me going with her, I dont know whether she was just gauging general interest since she also asked her friends but who knows? Maybe it might be an opportunity for me to radically change my life.', 'I suppose, yeah. Usually what I say is something uninspiring or generic and the conversation just peters out anyway. So Im probably better off having said nothing at all.Hell maybe I should just go full awkward and say, ""Im sorry I dont know what to say."" Itd probably be just as bad.', 'You speak wisdom, perhaps I could devote my life helping the less fortunate. It would certainly be more worthy than anything else Ive ever done. I dont think Id escape the feeling Id been cheated out of having a normal life though; that I were just a machine whose only purpose was to serve other people and never feel the same joy they could.', 'Im glad somethings positive is happening for you, and that youre enjoying a hobby.I stopped the hobby thing when I realised whatever I did would be a hollow substitute for what I actually wanted out of life, and what little pleasure I had from it was outweighed by the sheer amount of time and often money it would take to become invested.Socially I have no one to confide in. Theres one person who I supported when her bipolar got really bad and later helped get her through (funnily enough) a suicide crisis of her own. So I can sort of talk to her but were not that close and she has little time to do anything with me considering shes married with kids. My family are out as theyre not the kind of people I can talk to about this kind of thing.Long story short, I have no one I can really lean on.', 'My god youre just like me. Ive done the exact same thing as you. Ive been trying to find hobbies, (Learn guitar, learn Japanese, learn knitting) and when I find Im terrible at each I move on to something I might be better at. Something that might keep me busy enough to distract me from everything else. Obviously I didnt succeed or I wouldnt be here now.Ive also used alcohol as essentially medication, since its done a much better job of keeping the feels away than SSRIs ever did and with far fewer side effects.Id like to talk to you further about this, perhaps well both be able to gain some insight from examining each others situations in more detail.']",Ideation
user-100,"['I know the feeling, and things dont get better with time, they just deteriorate.  At least you had a girlfriend.  No women has ever wanted me for more than money or help with things.  Im not even treated like a human being because of my ugly face.  Im a virgin, 30, and at this point there is not much hope left.  Over the past year I developed severe ED too, which I never had problems with in my 20s.  I missed the boat on ever having a intimate relationship, and there isnt much hope for one in the future.  ', 'Im 30 and feel the same way.  I think most suicides are irrational and do fit the description of ""a Injury of muscle fix to a temporary problem""  This is ESPECIALLY true in younger people.  But in some cases I think suicide can be a rational decision.  I have spent a LOT of time in introspection and I have come to the conclusion suicide is the best way out in my case.  Im just too high inhibition to go through with it.  And so Im stuck in a perpetual case of limbo.    In my case, I have never experienced love or intimacy, and Im 30.  Im a virgin and not by choice.   More than that I have only grown more and more isolated as I got older.  I want to belong, I wanted to have a ""normal"" life, but the cards were stacked against me from the start, and at this point I am beyond hope of ever having one.  Thats not the only reason though, thats just the tip of the iceberg... I know Im depressed, have been for most of my life, but in my case its endogenous Depression, only the external causes of my Depression are not temporary.  There is Tired little hope for them to chance.  ']",Ideation
user-101,"['Its kinda impossible to run the numbers as you cant predict the future. Something could happen tomorrow that will improve your life immeasurably. Im pro choice but I suspect many people that consider suicide arent being rational. ', 'I know how tall you are but Im quite short and went from 210 to 160 in 6 months. I didnt even do *that* much exercise and I certainly didnt starve myself. Plus Im older so by metabolism is easy slower. Of course were entirely different people but before you make any big decisions consider that there are achievable goals that dont take such a long time to attain ... and they might make you feel better about yourself.I firmly believe that everyone has the right to end their life. But I also think its something that needs to be  rationally considered. Please dont think Im condescending but at 15 you have plenty of opportunities to make changes in your life that will make it seem less bleak. ', '>Im not sure if thats what you perceive as a risk, and if it is, I dont understand which part of it you see as risky.The risk is that Im sectioned and my family find out. Thats probably a little dramatic but I honestly dont know what my rights are if he believes Im serious. Plus I dont think I want to be talked/medicated out of it at the moment. Fwiw, Im already on medication. This isnt a chemical imbalance issue. ', 'Short term, if you want to avoid some severe gastrointestinal discomfort, you might want to take some probiotics. Youve got to be really careful if you plan to swallow a bunch of random pills like that. You might end up taking something that *doesnt* have the required effect but *does* leave you in a mess physically ... Im thinking organ damage etc.Did you fall asleep with the expectation that you wouldnt wake up? How did you feel when realised it hadnt worked? ', 'You could reach out to the guys on the loseit sub about shedding some pounds if being Overweight contributes to any issues with low self esteem. That could be a place to start. Thing is, youre young. Your body is still developing. You might not be happy with your appearance but I guarantee you will look entirely different in a few years. With the bullying... That sucks. I have no idea how Pain that must be but I urge you to report it someone. You shouldnt suffer in silence and schools are pretty hot on dealing with bullying these days. Stay strong. I cant promise you things will get better but there are definitely steps you can take to try to improve your situation. ', 'Ok, but keep in mind that if you attempt and fail youre probably looking at a similar situation re: psych hospital.I told my shrink (not in the US) and none of that happened. We are just adjusting my meds. But like I say, Im not in the US.Im sure I read somewhere that in America if you tell your psychiatrist you have occasional Suicidal thought they will look for ways to treat you - lithium and lamictal for instance. Dont take this as gospel but I believe they will ask you whether you have a plan and so long as you say no i.e. its just passing thoughts with no firm plans to carry it out they will not force you into treatment.My shrink tells me lithium is excellent for taking away Suicidal thoughts ... that said, Im refusing to take it!', 'So how are you feeling about it at the moment? Are you relaxed? Nervous? Regrets?Not sure if its within the rules to disclose what youve taken but Id be interested to know.Hypothetically, if you decided to back out, have you got a back up plan? ', 'What you do us entirely your right, in my view, but I suspect your emotions are a bit raw right now ... so if I were you I would be making any big decisions for a while.And if your kids are having to deal with the divorce, I really doubt they would view your suicide as a blessing. In fact, probably now more than ever they need you. You may have to accept the marriage is over, but your relationship with your kids need not be. ', 'What meds are you on? Ive been through wellbutrin, zoloft, pristiq, prozac, lamictal, Im sure Im forgetting something ... and a whole bunch of different benzos. It gets a bit tedious after a while doesnt it. They do say theres a genetic connection with Depression and other mental health disorders. No one else in my family have issues that I know of though. I like that you hedge your bets with the whole religion thing ... smart move :)What time is it in your part of the world', 'Running running and more running. ', 'I have another. Meditation. Being able to quiet the voices and tune out of all the relentless bullshit media inputs is amazing. Its hard though and needs constant practice. I got quite good at it but  sadly Ive slacked off and as is often the case Depression kinda kills the motivation. ', 'It has been an hour. I hope youre calm now and arent regretting your decision. And I hope that if you do have any doubts you have the courage (and time) to ask for help from a medical professional.Either way Im glad we got a chance to have a chat (albeit a brief one).Goodnight /r/thisisntjimmy', 'Do you want to discuss your addiction? Do you think propensity towards addictive behavior is a genetic thing? I like to think so as it makes me feel better about myself!If its not drugs (and Ill include alcohol as a drug), what are you addicted to?', 'What do you believe will happen? Do you believe in the afterlife or anything? It blows my mind trying to imagine a scenario where I no longer exist. How old are you? Have you lived with Depression for long? ', 'The risk with taking toxic levels of acetaminophen (Tylenol) is that theres a Tired good chance it *wont* kill you immediately but it *will* completely fuck up your liver and make whats left of your life extremely Pain and utterly miserable. Unless youre a masochist I would rethink this weekends plans. Im not even trying to talk you out of suicide here, Im warning you against trying to get a taste of death using this method. I can actually relate to a lot of your post. I used to use drugs and booze all the time to try to hit that sweet spot between existence and nonexistence.How old are you sunny?', 'I figured that from your post here. But just know that od from Tylenol will be an incredible uncomfortable and Pain way to go. How old are you bud? And are you from the phils?', 'A bit embarrassed by that whiny post now, even though I basically stand by what I said. Anyway, mentor how? ', 'Have you seen a shrink and told them you have strong Suicidal urges? ', 'Is there a particular issue thats making you feel this way? ', 'Dont take this the wrong way, but Im curious about why you posted. Did you want to talk about anything else (other than what led you here)? ', 'I dont know how many but I do know it wont be quick. If you OD and dont see a medical professional youll likely die of liver failure over a few days. ', 'Im actually Worried that I could be forced into treatment. I cant risk that. Any idea what the deal is there? Presumably if he thinks I could be a danger to myself hed be obligated to report it? That post of mine was a bit naff. Im not just a guy having an existential crisis. This plan of mine has been gathering momentum for a while and is starting to feel inevitable. Im seeing the shrink on Thursday. Ill test the waters ... ']",Behavior
user-102,"['I dont think so, because your sacrifice wouldnt right wrongs. I understand your desire for secrecy, certain events have left me with selective mutism, and there are some things that I just cant talk about, let alone the Pain that it would cause me in doing so.Stepping away from the act that were discussing, Im assuming that youre proposing a pre-emptive action, of sorts. But what would only prevent potential future bad things, along with the good. And I think that the probability of your situation being one where that was the most ethical choice is pretty much zero.No one should have to be in the amount of Pain that causes Suicidal thoughts. Ive been Suicidal for 1839 days now, and a lot of my Pain has come from guilt. But Ive managed to keep going in the hopes that I will be able to equalize things by doing enough good that the Pain will end. The main reason why I do not think that suicide in your situation would be ethical is that the probability that there wouldnt be a possible way to resolve the Pain (working from my vague knowledge).Id recommend contacting a suicide hotline, as they would be able to give detailed advice on coping with guilt.My experience has been hard, but my intentions werent malicious, and some of the things that Ive done werent me. I dont think that suicide is a punishment that you could deserve, what whatever you feel your crimes were. Above all, its not your fault. Every day I try to justify my continued existence, but I know that its not my fault, it just hurts. And you can deal with that, day by day. As someone who has come so close to that end, whatever you feel youve done, you dont deserve that.', 'Ive been Suicidal for the past 1839 days, and Ive had a similar experience in some aspects. To me, the problem is that most people respond by talking about how it would affect those around you. And the response is but its my life, and I need a reason to keep going.My experience has been one of Pain leading to emptiness, and I suppose a lack of purpose rather than a lack of meaning. For the past 1839 days its been oh, Ill keep going until that new <insert film/game/book/album/new thing> comes out, and then Ill do it. Theres always been something, but there always hasnt been anything after the last thing.From my knowledge and experience, suicide is an extreme response to extreme Pain, and so the way to deal with it is to remove or at the least lessen the Pain. That is, after all, the general reason behind suicide, its just that all other options should be thoroughly exausted first.I try to distract myself, immerse myself in things, try and feel as good as I still can. Suicide is on the horizon, but theres something nice thats more immediate. The ways of dealing with that kind of Pain is rather specific to the individual, but I game a lot as a distraction, I immerse myself in reading books, watching films or shows, listening to music. Id recommend trying lots of things, and trying to multitask as much as possible when things are bad. Im frequently playing a game while watching a show while pondering philosophy. I find that if you clog up you mind with nice stuff, it stops the Pain for a while.Id also recommend trying to meet new people, something where continued contact is worth hanging around for. Ive found a certain kind of confidence at the worst of times - holding your life in your Weakness of hand gives you a fair amount of power. Id also recommend contacting a suicide hotline (specific to where you live) when things are really bad.From what I gather from the tone of your post, its a thought out and reasoned thing. My hope, and I suppose request as a fellow sufferer, is to make sure that as many of the alternate Pain-relief options have been tried first. And to hold Survive as the primary goal for each day - you make it to the end, youve done well. I hope that at least some of this has been of help.', 'Ive been Suicidal for the past 1839 days, and I understand the immediacy of the Pain. Id recommend contacing a suicide hotline for to help with coping with the next few days, and contact as many services as you can on dealing with debt. There must be a way, even if its by declaring bankruptcy and and starting over with nothing, debt wiped clean. Im working under the assumption that if the ongoing and immediate issue of the debt was resolved, then the Pain would be managable, even if it was on a day to day basis as I do. There must a service that could help or a way to resolve the issue, and so you should do whatever it takes to make it through the next few days until you can see an end to the debt being there. After that, things would be definitely manageable. I hope that this has been of some help, even if it was just to have someone who can empathise with your Pain hear your story.', 'That sounds rough, but above all I dont think that its your fault, as you didnt make the decision knowing what the outcome would be, or intending for that to be the outcome. Ive been Suicidal for the past 1839 days, and I know that without medical and outside support I wouldnt have made it this far. I understand what it feels like. Both to seriously regret something like that, and to just not be able to study. Ive just had to drop out of college for the second time (I live in England if you want to work out what the equivilant would be), and its such a horrible feeling, but I was so empty at the time that I couldnt really feel it.Ive been Suicidal for literally over five years now, and the probability of me attempting suicide again is Tired low, but Im still in constant Pain. Depression is awful.Above all, its not your fault, and the most important thing to do is to do what you can to make it a thing of the past, rather than an ongoing thing. I know that thats by no means easy, and will take time, but thats at least a way to seriously reduce the risk of suicide. I spend my days doing whatever I need to keep myself busy, and keep going. The /r/Depression subreddit could be good for talking to other people, and in general not feeling alone. The way that mental health issues are treated globally is awful, and any help that you can get could make a big difference. I know what Depression is like, and talking to other people is probably a good way to find new ways to cope with things and to find out about services and options. I wish you all the best, and please, try contacting a suicide hotline if things become really bad.', 'I understand what its like to feel like that, and how much doubt not knowing what to do because you barely enjoy anything anymore can create. From my understanding of things, a renewed purpose in life should bring things back to normal, though that isnt that easy a thing. Approaching your days by trying to get the most out of each hour or so could help, as long as youre kept busy by interesting things, things should feel alive. Id recommend trying to bring as much as you can of the happy activities into the other ones.Its a different problem, but my room is the only place where I feel that I can truly relax, and Ive found that as long as I have my iPod and my headphones, I can keep that sense of security going in triggery situations, because I know that if things became too much, I could just plug in to the right playlist, and feel alright.Using the energy that you can find to keep doing at least one that that you find interesting and/or like doing should have a snowballing effect. Suicide certainly isnt the answer here, because its possible for thing to get better. Ive been Suicidal for 1839 days now, and its often on my mind, but I do what I need to do to get through the day, and enjoy what I can. Id recommend trying to identify everything that still feels normal, and trying to extend them as much as possible, and contacting a suicide hotline if things become really hard.', 'Please contact a suicide hotline before trying anthing, theyll be the best qualified people to help with the immediate Pain. After that, Id recommend taking it day by day, and trying to see if theres a treatment option that would be better for you.  Id also recommend looking for an online support community, I know that there are several for schizophenia. They could probably help as well. Above all, please keep in your mind how much change could come of a few things, and just hold on to see if that would be the case, because it could make so much difference. Im open to talking about things if you want to, and again, please contact a suicide hotline to help get through the night.', 'Hmm. I suppose that my recommendation would be to find something that you care-about-enough-that-things-dont-Pain-as-much. Homestuck is one of those things to me, because I find it so true - it resonates with me, and I dont feel alone. I feel that someone else understands me. I get the same feeling when I read Chuck Palahniuck.I try the find-evidence-of-good-things-in-the-world approach as well, watching Luclyn videos on YouTube ususally checks that box.I also multi-task a lot when things are bad - just try and cram your mind with things so that its active on other things.I personally havent found web searchs of things similar to <thing that you like> that effective, but asking people has. Finding good stories, be they fictional or non-fictional, and feeling understood have been the most effective things for me, I think.Hope that that helps somewhat.', 'Thank you for opening up here, it must have been really hard to put something so signficant into words. Above all, Annas death shouldnt mean yours as well. And youre in no way a murderer. No one should have to go through what you both went through. Anna may have had great potential, but what about your potential? Is there a single kind of life that you think that you could still lead?A suicide hotline would be able to really offer some advice on how to cope with losing your family, and with the everything else. Please, try contacting one before trying anything. You shouldnt do anything because you feel guilt towards Mellie - you did nothing wrong.', 'Id recommend contacting a suicide hotline, they would probably know best about how to get physical help. Above all, being in Pain and any psycosis is in no way your fault, and so suicide shouldnt be how things end. Ive been Suicidal for the past 1839 days, and though my experiences have stemmed more from Depression and pseudo-psychotic issues, Im open to help as much as I can. Above all, please contact a suicide hotline, they would most likely be able to give the best advice on how to get physical help.', 'Im open to reasoning about the matter, Ive got 1839 days of being Suicidal in the way of experience. From all my knowledge, the issue is to find a way to deal with the Pain sufficiently, until the source(s) can be removed. Id also recommend contacting a suicide hotline, they are probably also good supportive debaters, and theyll have lots of knowledge on how to cope with things. I understand the Pain, and Suicidal thoughts are a rational occurence when Pain exceeds the resources that you have for coping with Pain. You are in no way a horrible person - your just in Pain. And there will be a way to deal with the Pain, if not remove it.', 'That sounds really painful, and thank you for opening up about it. Ive had a similar kind of experience where I sort of ripped out my heart because it just Pain too much, and now I can barely feel love anymore. Above all, none of its your fault, and no one should be in so much Pain. Its in no way pathetic, or something that you should be ashamed about. Minds are extraordinarily complex, and the way that mental health issues are treated by most is really bad. Ive found that being able to just plug in to a playlist on my iPod and temporarily shut things out has worked for me as a crutch to lean on. The mail provider may also be able to do something. I know how important having my reminder of things is to me, and how hard it must be to not have yours.Theres no way that I could hate you, or even have a reason to. Ive been sitting here trying to work out if theres another way to chase that package. If things get really bad, please contact a suicide hotline before trying anything. You deserve your organs so Tired much, and if I was able to, I would offer you the biggest hug that I could give. Ive found that hugging a pillow can fill some of the void for me when I need it.', 'Thats good to hear, I know how hard it can get at times. I hope that your therapist can offer some help as well, its good to get all that you can.', 'I wish you both all the best. Please, take care.', 'That sounds really hard, I know what overwhelming hostility can feel like. Im open to talking about things, anything that I can do to help. Id recommend contacting a hotline to help cope with the abuse, as theyll definitely be qualified to help, and be able to offer support and options. It sounds to me that if you were able to be distanced from the sources of abuse, youd be able to manage. I really hope that someone can help with that. Id recommend browsing subreddits like this one, or any forums or online communities that can offer support in the mean time, just finding other people that you could feel some unity with. Knowing that youre not alone can make a big difference with the day to day coping.', 'Im sorry, that must be so painful.There are some online resources linked on the subreddits page, though Im not sure how helpful they could be.I, obviously, dont know much about the situation, but ought implies can. If there was nothing that you could have done, then you arent responsible. I know what its like to keep rethinking events, and how long you can keep trying different possibilities it without giving up.I know that I havent really been of help, beyond being a listener, but that story is one of the most beautiful things that Ive ever read. It seemed so honest and true. And thank you for sharing it, because its something that Im sure Ill remember for a long time.', 'Ive been Suicidal for the past 1839 days, and from my experience Suicidal thoughts are in response to simply not wanting to be in Pain.And so from my experience, the best way to minimise thinking about suicide and to not think about it is to find a way to not be in Pain. Whether thats done by distraction (Im a big gamer), painkillers (I find that 4-6 units of alcohol works as a painkiller for me, but I am a happy drunk. Its a situational defence, and it may Tired well not work or even exacerbate Suicidal feelings in others), or being surrounded by happy things (spending time with friends, family, but this is much harder to guarentee, and to have it when you need it).From what I know, the tl;dr of Suicidal thoughts is  an extreme reaction to extreme Pain, and so painkiller activities are what I would recommend, though the actual activities that would probably help would most likely be fairly specific to you.I would also recommend contacting a suicide hotline (specific to where you live), but I know googling suicide automatically brings up a hotline number at the top of the page.Im here if you want to talk about things, either on here or somewhere else. From my experience, Ive not yet been able to get rid of the thoughts, just put more important things ahead of them.Hope that this helped, even if it was just for someone to hear you.', 'Sorry? Its been literally five years, plus around twenty days now. I live day by day, and so days seems the best way to measure it.', 'Wow, thats really bad. I was thinking that the professionals would be able to say something useful. I havent had that much experience with any online therapy resources, but I could look around. Im not sure what other offical resources there are.Can you go to the hospital again if you need to?Family stuff can be really hard. Various events have left me with selective mutism, so I find communicating with my family really difficult, which they dont really understand.Do you know if theres any way that you could access some form of free therapy? The waiting lists are usually months long, but I suppose its something to have in the works.My general approach is to try and distract and immerse myself in as much as possible. Books, games, films, shows, music; Im usually multi-tasking them. Anything to make it through the day. Ive now had Suicidal thoughts for 1839 days. Im not sure how helpful the more specific advice that I could give would be. Just whatever it takes to lessen the Pain, and survive the day./hug', 'Above all, the reason why I think that you shouldnt take the step is that you dont control the situation. From my 1839 days of Suicidal experience, I think that the most important factor in suicide is that you retain the option to back out until the last moment. You need to be able to stop. And taking that one step wouldnt let you back out. In the last moment of my attempt I felt pretty much all of the weight of my life and all that it was and would be compared with the amount of Pain that I was in, and it took me to that last moment to change my mind. To try and bear the Pain a little longer, in the hopes that it would eventually stop. Your survival instinct is a lot stronger that you think that it would be, and you need that control to do anything with that knowledge. That just how much is better than nothing.My primary objective everyday is just to survive. Whatever it takes. And so I spend my time distracting myself, immersing myself in enough multi-tasking that I dont feel the Pain as much.Id also ask that you contacted a suicide hotline (details of which are specific to where you live). And before suicide, exaust every other method of dealing with chronic Pain. Whatever helps lessen the Pain is probably better than nothingness.Im open to talking about things some more, and I hope that at least some part of this helped.', 'Honestly, the first that that I feel when reading this is curiosity. I see no reason for guilt, but then my own experiences with it have shown me that it can be pretty irrational.Ive been Suicidal for the past 1839 days, and the main reason for my Pain has been doubt. Doubt that I could ever be good enough. And I think that the first distinction to make is between being good enough for you, and being good enough for others. Doubt also magnifies things, so the reality of your concerns is most probably smaller than what you think. Still, it takes distance from the Pain for that to be helpful.After all my experiences, my goal is a pretty atypical existence, but its one that would be good enough, for me. And I think that my Pain pushed me from focusing on doing things for others, to doing things for myself. Not in a selfish way, but you are you, and you are more or less the only person with the knowledge to figure out who you want to be and what you want to do, be it with you whole life, or the next five minutes.Hey, just from the fact that your a sapient, sentient being, capable of the thought, reason and capacity for emotion and Pain that the writing of this post requires is a high enough standard for you to be good enough in my mind.I highly doubt that even everything could be your fault, and Ive found that analysing my intentions, and all the factors leading into the significant situations has given me enough of a conclusion to put most of those concerns to rest.My biggest concern about me killing myself is that I dont think that anyone would remember me for who I really am - only I know that. I generally have little energy, and thats why I drink a lot of Lucozade. After 1839 days of suffering, my drug of choice is an energy drink deliving glucose.I also seriously doubt that youre ugly. There are many resources online and off for dealing with such concerns, but I also think that if youre capable of writing this post, then youre not ugly. Your body is just a way of interfacing your mind with others. Some people are staticly beautiful, nearly everyone is dynamically beautiful. I nearly always try to avoid photos being taken of me, because nearly all of them are bad, but I know that I have a nice smile - I just dont show through my body on camera.Self-worth and self-love are Tired large and complex things, and its hard to know where to start, but theyll be some for of existence that will be nuturing for you, however atypical it is.I think that the most important thing that I could recommend for you to do is to be able to live for you, be the person that you want to be, and do what you want to do. Its taken me years to be able to go off of my own desires and thoughts rather than others, but it makes so much difference. Its your life, other people dont own any part of it.Im available if you ever want to talk about things in detail, I have a fair amount of experience with this matter.Id also recommend contacting a suicide hotline (details relevant to where you live) when things are really hard, and especially before attempting anything. I hope that at least some of this has helped.tl;dr - Whos awesome? Youre awesome.']",Ideation
user-103,"['Do you remember me? We spoke last year, I added you to my friends list and checked up on you on a whim  . Im the lady with the blind daughter. I swear Im not a stalker, I was thinking of the things wed spoken of and wanted to see how you were.I hope you havent done anything yet. I hope you know that you touched my heart and the hearts of so many others. I hope you know that you matter, that you have worth. You are not nothing. I cant help you much but If you need some one to talk to Im here. If you need some one. Im here. ', 'He said he was going to kill himself because he was homeless and disabled. Hoping that since this was deleted it means hes okay. ']",Supportive
user-104,"['you always can kill yourself later:)', 'no need to try them all, just pick one, for a start.', 'that idea helped me to go through some tough periods in my life, i am not a dick. and i am almost isolated from the society already, thanks for that.']",Indicator
user-105,"['Im not going to start with the ""No, please dont, life is awesome!"" crap, but... do you really want to go out this way? You could learn to drive (or if not, a lot of people dont, no biggie), you might be able to earn a little money or make some friends. I dont mean to make light of youre feeling at all; Ive had Depression for years and often feel that there just isnt any point to going on. But is *everything* in your life unfixable?Shit gets real, but I hope youll reconsider giving it another shot. Hugs.', 'Its okay; its not really an easy question to answer. Ive been trying to hang on to the fact that I dont hate everything... but then, sometimes I wonder if feeling nothing is worse, you know? I think its just life in general that leaves my unsatisfied. I just dont see the point.', 'Thanks :)', 'I have been to Australia! Beautiful place. I know there are things to do and places to see. At one time, that intrigued me. Even when I was Tired Depression a few years ago, I could hang on to that. But now, I just dont even care about any of that. Id travel somewhere if someone got me a ticket, but I would just feel neutral. I could take it or leave it. I dont feel joy anymore.', 'I dont know if youll find this helpful, but...At 24, I was dealing with a pretty serious chronic Illness (and Depression) and had been since college. I had to drop out of school a few times and live at home, not working, not doing much of anything except feeling like shit.Im 29 now, and I was able to finish school, get a decent job, and Im in a great relationship. Im still depressed, so I cant promise you thats going to get any better. But even if things look hopeless now, its not too late to pull yourself out of it. Honestly, I felt exactly the same way when I was your age, and the truth is, I was absolutely right to be terrified. I did what I could, and things worked out fine. Either way, its worth attempting to give it another shot. It really, really isnt too late for you. Honor that hesitation youre feeling. If its what you truly wanted, you wouldnt be this afraid. Really, what do you have to lose by going on just a little bit longer? Suicide is always an option... later. Just put it off for awhile. See if things improve.', 'Just hang out with my boyfriend, go out to dinner, watch TV, drink wine, whatever. My life is not at all unpleasant; the problem is Im just not able to give a shit about any of it. ', 'Im sorry to hear that. I dont want to bother you with inane questions or fake sunshine-y claims that ""it gets better."" But these low points arent permanent. I cant promise that everythings going to be, but I dont think youll feel this awful forever. Ill be thinking about you, and I hope you find peace.', 'First, its great that you are trying to understand her rather than judging her. Second, dont feel guilty about not knowing. When I started cutting, I was an honor student at a good college, had a lot of friends, and was involved in school activities. Sometimes, those are the ones the most vulnerable, because they put too much Pressure on themselves. My parents felt awful that they didnt know what was going on, but it wasnt their fault.If you feel she is in immediate danger, seek medical attention. However, most cutters have no intention of seriously harming themselves. The best advice I can give is to not try and ""fix it"" for her. Talk to her, spend time with her, hug her, and tell her youve got her back. I know its hard to not be emotional, but try to control your feelings when youre with her. Just do anything you can to let her know that youre by her side, and youll help get her through it.', 'I give a fuck.']",Behavior
user-106,"['Im sure you hear this all the time but where you go to college doesnt define you.  People brag about where they went to college in effort to validate their own insecurities.  It makes people feel good knowing that they can ""+1"" people even if that ""+1"" is meaningless in the grand scale of life.High school is a terrible time for a lot of people.  I know that it definitely was for me.  Believe it or not, it does get better.  College is different than HS and the working world is even more different than college.  Just give it a chance.  I was in the exact same position as you at your age and my life got better.  Yours can too!  Youve only lived a small fraction of your life and while things seem hopeless at this time, just remember that life is constantly changing.', 'Im 27 and I still dont know what I want to do with my life.  Im not thrilled with my career but I make good money so I power through it.  If I knew what to do Id be doing it but as of right now, I feel lost and stagnant.I switched careers at age 25 so its not like you have to choose something and stick with it for the rest of your life.', 'Im terrified of my future.  I imagine that Im going to end up a single parent in poverty with no friends and no one that cares about me.  Basically end up like my parents.I try things to avoid that like staying child free and working hard but I still get overwhelmed with these thoughts.', 'I do so out of compulsion.  I have episodes of intense negative emotions that turn into violent hatred of myself and I end up uncontrollably digging my fingernails into my skin until I start bleeding.  I guess I do it because I cant think of any other way to vent how I feel or calm myself down.I never self harmed until a year ago.  I dont enjoy doing it; its just something that happens during those episodes.', 'There is nothing wrong with going to community college and transferring.  If you cannot afford school then this is your smartest option.  If youre as poor as you claim then you should have no problem getting enough money through financial aid, your job, and loans (if needed) for two years of CC.  If you get stellar grades you may be able to get a full scholarship at a university of your choice.Wouldnt that be better than not going to college at all and staying in your dead end job?', ""My boyfriend and I travel for our jobs so there are periods where I'll have the entire place to myself or be in another state alone.  It works out and relieves a lot of the tension that comes from living together and being around each other constantly.\n\nI don't like living alone.   I've always had a roommate or boyfriend to live with."", 'I can related 100%\n\nI hate the sound of my own name so I\'ve actually changed it legally but my family refuses to call me by my new name and it strikes me, painfully, every time I hear it.  I don\'t know why I hated my birth name so much but it\'s always been a problem for me since I was a child.\n\nMy friends don\'t take me seriously either and tell me to ""grow up"" when I have breakdowns because the things I\'m breaking down about are apparently not ""legitimate"" or ""serious.""\n\nI have no advice to you for self acceptance because it\'s something I struggle with even with therapy.  But you\'re not alone!', ""I get tantrum-like breakdowns usually after arguments with my partner because he is antagonistic and unable to understand the difficulty in how I'm feeling.  Its a vicious cycle for me since I get even more upset with how I'm acting and I don't know how to stop so I get more upset and violent towards myself.  Eventually I'll calm down and be dissociative and apathetic for the rest of the day.\n\nI didn't have this problem with my previous SO.  I think because he was calm and rational; he never gave me more reasons to fuel the fire.\n\nIt's actually best I be alone during these times.  Alone I just cry and get over it quickly instead of throwing a violent fit."", 'Very different.My last career was sales and now my new career is mathematical-based / investing.', 'Get a new psychiatrist.They work for you, not the other way around.', ""As much as I'd like for this to be true, I doubt there is a correlation.  I'm dumb as a bag of rocks.  I couldn't do anything academic even if I wanted to.\n\nThis is all anecdotal of course.""]",Ideation
user-107,"['Do not be sorry. I understand that feeling COMPLETELY. I was actually engaged and called it off last summer to a great guy and went through all these emotions/feelings again. It is Tired difficult for sure. PM me if you need, I will be around. Might be later today, but I am extremely willing to listen. You have my support!', 'Well, I got pregnant when I was 15... Yeah, big surprise there considering it was our first time and the condom broke. He will be 6 in June. Hes actually everything that I have. Being a single parent, trying to work on my own as well as provide for him as put me in south debt financially, mental and Emotional upset stress, and way too much Excessive upper gastrointestinal gas for getting him to and from school during the Asthenia (his school is 30 miles away). Ive been at my job for 3 years and only make $8.03 an hour... I do have an interview with the Cheesecake Factory this Asthenia though. I just cant stretch each penny anymore. Im 22, cant pay my rent because I dont make enough, his father wont agree to a school halfway between us, and I need to stop staring at these pill bottles. ', 'How I did it was I sat my loved one down, said that I needed to have a serious discussion, told them what has been on my mind and that I was constantly thinking about ending my life. I asked for them not to try to argue with me over it but to instead just hold me while I cried. Surprisingly, it helped me for that night. The next day when the thoughts crept back into my mind, I called them up and they knew what was up. It was like having a support system. ', 'I would talk to my son, but it is his dads weekend and I only got him today from 10-7. So when I was getting off work, he was picking him up from my moms. It hurts so bad. ', 'Thats the way that I am, too. Lets get through this together. PM man. We are now friends!!!', 'Talk. Let it out. Get every frustration, things that make you even more depressed, upset, anything. We are here to listen without judgement!', 'This is my first comment Ive ever made on reddit and it is because I read your post and felt the need to make an account.  I have been in your shoes before... and let me tell you, it was not a pretty ending.  Lets just say that three and a half years have passed and I am finally feeling better without him.  You are not alone nor will you ever be.  It will be okay once you accept it, let her go, and get through the hell first.  ', 'I dont even know how to imagine what you must be going through, but I do know that the first thing you did right today was getting on here and asking to talk to someone. Congrats because you just made new friends who are willing to listen and you get through! ', 'Your brother is watching over you. He would not want you to leave this earth before your time has been called. Believe me... Ive learned this the hard way.', 'Holy moly. Dont get me started on the raise. I asked for a higher pay after three long years and she said no. So I said that when I find a new job, I will be taking it. At the Cheesecake Factory, I would be a cashier in the bakery! They said that I would be responsible for all the cheesecake displays and ringing up customers. I would really love that position in a higher field. Dont get me wrong, Victorias Secret is a nice place to work, but after being screwed over so many times I need to find a place that will help me financially as well as my growing up. ', 'This really helped me. Thank you. Thank you to everyone. And I wont take a swing on you, Id like it if you came to a park and swank with me!!!!!!!!! :-)', 'Well now you have one! Ask and you shall receive. Hello, darling, how have you been today? Anything funny or amusing happen?', 'I love that movie! It is filled with so much adult humor that I never picked up on it until I really started paying attention. You know, I know hopelessness.... Here it is, four in the morning and I am sitting alone at Steak n Shake because my boyfriend refused to move is car so I could back out my car from the driveway. I am not even supposed to be driving because I took my heavy dose Insomnia medication before bed. So I left him in the bed and walked here. A mile. And now he is blowing up my phone saying that he is in the parking lot for me when Im finished? Really, douchebag? Ugh. Lets me hopeless together.', 'Dont cut, PLEASE!! Someone close to me has cut himself all over his body... chest, arms, legs, stomach... and he is now embarrassed of his deep, DEEP scare tissue. Not that scar tissue is what you are thinking about right now, but hopefully you see what I am getting at. Please. It isnt worth it.', 'Absolutely.  This is unusual behavior for her (the questioning and sentence structure) and it would probably be in her best interest to seek some help. You could address it casually by bringing up that it concerns you, how it makes you feel to hear her talk like that, ask her how she is really, truly feeling. Let her know that you love her and loved by others. Remind her of things she might not have thought of lately, such as how beautiful, hardworking, and how you admire her for all that she does.  Mothers Day is coming up... great opportunity to let her know that you appreciate all that she does!', 'I completely agree with this.  It took me several different therapists to find one that I could work the best with, as well as changing Depression medications and dosages to feel better.  There are a variety of methods out there to help those suffering and it takes effort to find the one that works best for each individual. ', 'I agree, FUCK CANCER! You can get through this.  Do not let the setback, shame of yourself and actions determine how you can recover. Get the treatment. Have surgery. Find new things that make you happy. We are here to cheer you on!!', 'This is long overdue, but I took an absence from reddit. I did get the job with CF and ended up hating it. What I DID get in the end was a full time offer, salary position as a Laboratory Assistant!!!! Yes! I am actually doing MUCH better than the last time I posted anything on here. For the first time in my life, I am able to pay my own rent, bills, car insurance, and a ton of other things. Things are wonderful!', 'There are people on this site RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND that are complete strangers to you... they do not know you, know your past, your name, anything of the sort. But they are here because they want to be a lending ear/eyes to read what you have to say. Why? Because we have unselfish hearts and care about strangers. Take advantage of that. It can truly work!', 'Thank you Tired much. Everyone has made me feel better enough to get through another day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! If I get the job, I will be sure to let you know :)', 'You are right. Why cant we?', 'Lets wait a day. Or two. Or a Asthenia. Or a month. Lets get some help first, shall we? You say you dont have many friends...Well, hello. My name is Hope and I am a crazy, wild, spontaneous and impulsive person. I laugh at things I think of, cringe when people pop their knuckles, and cry every single time I watch Titanic.Lets be friends! :)', 'Hahahahaha!! This made me laugh tremendously. Thank you! I thought baking her in a tanning bed... Then splashing her with bleach to make it even more painful. :-)', 'I have been in your shoes!!!!! The best thing that I was able to find were places that offer sliding fees, even some places dont charge at all if you are truly in that kind of a rut. I was able to find some online sites of community groups that have Depression and a therapist emails you. Cant remember the name of it but I will try to find it for you if you are interested. ', 'But why end your story here? Every story has a twist... let your twist develope into something bright!', 'I have done that... Made the noose and stared at it. Sometimes once you do make it, you just feel different. Like you took a step and suddenly waited for whatever reason. I had borderline personality disorder... And mental illnesses are a Pain in the butt! I understand the struggle to have relationships, control Depression, outbursts, everything. My older brother is also Bipolar disorder and yes, it can be difficult to understand at times. But what I have learned is that until you find the medicine that works for you, you CANT give up just yet. Find one that works for YOU. ', 'My parents help in all ways that they can, but since we all work, I am still responsible for my end. Mom watches him when I work weekends which is a blessing. My dad works crazy hours. Brother works two jobs. Everyone wants to help, just that it is hard to make it work when we all have different schedules. Being 22, I feel like a 35 year old. ', 'Oh man, I know that feeling... Staring at the pills, wondering if I should take them all. Whenever I get like that, I try to get out and do something.  The walk must have been nice. Its been raining here all Asthenia. Kinda peaceful to listen to though. ']",Behavior
user-108,"['Im over the people that have Pain me in the past. I wouldnt say Im upset by my past, Im more afraid of the future. Im a lot happier when Im with my boyfriend because he always makes sure Im smiling and laughing. I know that I want to move in with him, but my employment status is the sole thing keeping me from being with him where Im happy. Im miserable at home, because Im usually alone. It makes me feel bad because he wastes a lot of Excessive upper gastrointestinal gas to come see me. If I was able to hold down a job, I could be with him all the time, and since someone would always be there with me I wouldnt worry about my safety as much at home.', 'Im planning on going to school for bartending, but I cant afford to pay for the schooling.', 'Working out makes me feel like shit. Id rather just hang out at the library and have some quiet time to learn more about topics that interest me', 'Its really hard for me to trust my boyfriend because Ive been in so many mentally and physically abusive relationships. Every single person that Ive ever been with has cheated on me. It makes me unable to trust people, because all I know is being lied to and used. The only reason Im trying to get help is because I love my boyfriend, and see a future with him. ', 'I get extremely Stress out in retail or fast food jobs due to having anxiety. I have more issues with getting a job because I was arrested for shoplifting a few months ago. Any retail job is almost impossible for me to get, and I just cant deal with working with food. Im not a Tired desirable person to hire.', 'Ive gotten over most of the bad things in my past. Its just that I have this overall hopeless feeling. I feel like everything will be for nothing in the end. It doesnt help that I dont have any friends. Because of this, my boyfriend receives 100% of my venting. I dont feel like its fair, so I tend to keep quiet until it builds up and I explode.']",Ideation
user-109,"['I know that feel, bro. Carry on, there IS hope. There are girls who would die for someone like you. Just through your writing I can tell that youre smart, curious, driven, caring, and a boat load of other awesome adjectives. And its ok if you dont believe any of that now, Ive been there. Last November I was hospitalized after hitting rock bottom; I was completely hopeless and lost. And I too have never had a girlfriend, a kiss, or any romantic contact whatsoever. But I know Ill meet plenty next year in college. So yeah, I tend to ramble without any actualized course when I write, so Ill spare you that one. All youve gotta do is continue to exist. It gets better. :)']",Behavior
user-110,"['Please dont Pain yourself.  Ive had PTSD for going on 40 years now.  Its got progressively better for me.  I tried to kill myself twice -- and Im *Tired* glad I failed.  Just for today, try and go on.  Were here to help.', 'I used to do this.  It stopped when I found a support group (it was [Al-Anon](http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/) in my case).  You may benefit from talking to someone on 1-800-273-8255.  It helps to talk about your serious Depression.  It may help you to be calm.', 'Call 911 NOW.', 'Your boyfriends behaviour is his behaviour.  You are not to blame for his erratic mood swings.> And I am so scared to leave him, because he has an awful family life and I feel like Im his only support.In response to this Id say simply that 1. You are not qualified to help him 2. Even if you were qualified to help him you are too close to do so 3.  You being with him and permitting his illegal and toxic behaviour is making his condition progressively worse.  You under the illusion that your behaviour is somehow helping him.  Im so sorry, it isnt. 4.  **YOU ARE IN DANGER**.> Ive been keeping up this facade for almost two years. I kept up a facade for my alcoholic parent for decades.  The facade was worthless, *everybody knew already*.  Trust me, some people know whats happening in your toxic relationship.I think you would benefit from reading some of the material on [this](http://www.nnsd.com) website.My counsel is this.  Your suffering is making your boyfriend sicker, and he has progressed in his mental Illness (I am not qualified to diagnose it) because you allow his abuse to sustain by not having him arrested and exposing him to mandatory treatment.  This is not your fault, as you did not realise.  Its not too late.  Now, you are so worn out you are here on /r/suicidewatch.  All other priorities are rescinded.  You need to forget *everything* but your personal safety.  I recommend  you need to leave immediately, if you so choose.  I believe your life is in danger, and you need to act accordingly.At this time a lot of your anguish is from dissonance.  Your instincts are screaming at you to **GO!  GO!!  GO!!!**  And you are over-ruling your instincts.  Rule 1 of self defense:  NEVER overule your instincts.You need to get out of there and focus on surviving the next couple of hours.  Tomorrow can look after itself.  You have got to go.I recommend you call the police and charge your boyfriend.  I cannot make you do this, but hope you will choose this sensible course.If you leave your abusive boyfriend and get help for yourself you will start to feel better.  Sad, but better.', '> And as a result, like nothing else, its directed my mind towards sub appropriate places.When I went through a sequence of misfortunes, my mind got twisted up and my perspective was horrifically distorted.  I Pain myself badly, as a result.  However, with therapy, a new approach, massively reduced drinking and support Ive now got a rational perspective on life.  There is a LOT of sadness, but thats OK.  Sadness doesnt Pain the way Denial does.I dont want to offer advice, because advice doesnt help.  However, I think that until we have a sane perspective the whole world seems toxic.  Alcohol doesnt help.  You are not at all disgusting; you are wholesome; we are wholesome.  With help, we see this.  Hugs.', '**Call 9-1-1 NOW.**', 'Do you have family members who abuse alcohol or drugs?', 'They will.  More Hugs. :)', 'Get her to contact 1-800-273-TALK.  Shed benefit from talking to a professional.Sounds to me like youre her best friend.  Thats no kind of friend to say to her what that person said to her.Shes mourning the death of her relationship; thats rough.For bullying, she will find www.nnsd.com helpful.  Marc MacYoung is also Tired cool about contacting people who mail him, and he will have some effective solutions to bullying.Hope this helps.', '> My parents are barely functioning alcoholics. I was raped at the beginning of this school year and no one believes me. One of my parents is an alcoholic.  I found attending [Al-Anon](http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/) helpful.Really, dont worry about your grades.  The priority now is to begin to deal with your long term Depression and your dysfunctional family.  Id begin by suggesting you call 1-800-723-TALK; and get support outside of your Sorority and relationship.  They are not qualified to help you.Do not Pain yourself.  Help is available to you.  Hugs.', 'I hear you.  Please try contacting...1-800-273-TALK(1-800-273-8255)orText Telephone:1-800-799-4TTY(1-800-799-4889)No unhappiness is too great to be lessened.  I hope you are eating properly.  Sometimes when you are low, self-care is like moving in lead armour, but its so, so necessary.', '> Sooner or later in life everyone discovers that perfect happiness is unrealizable, but there are few who stop to consider the antithesis; that perfect unhappiness is equally unattainable.-- Primo Levi, ""Survival in Auschwitz""> No matter what problems you are dealing with, we want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you\xe2\x80\x99ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number1-800-273-8255 (H-E-L-P) [Click **HERE** to Chat](http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/)Dear /u/deathtourist -- WOW, sounds like you are really under tremendous strain.  Please remember, that your BF simply cannot help you -- not because he lacks the desire to, but because hes not qualified and too close to you to qualify even if *he was qualified*.You are not at all stupid to reach out for help.  Its awesome that in the dark place you are right now you are giving it a shot.  Well done.I think that losing your Grandfather qualifies you for compassionate leave, and that might be the best thing.Please talk (or chat) to someone on the hotline.  Were here to help.  There is no unhappiness too great to be lessened.  I know you feel awful right now, but it will (s-l-o-w-l-y, Im sorry to say) begin to get better.  Hang on.  Hugs.', 'For what its worth -- you seem to be describing ""Intrusive Thoughts"" which just wander into ones mind and wander out again.  Someone once described this a ""Council in your head"" where different characters interact.  You dictate your own actions, and are free to discount or reject any thoughts that present themselves for your approval.I find ""naming"" the ""character"" who creates these thoughts (I often have critical intrusive thoughts) helpful.  I have one dude ""Gollum"" who isnt Tired helpful, but I find identifying a negative thought and accepting that its passing through helpful.Perhaps you might want to discuss this with someone?  1-800-273-8255 might offer more qualified advice that I can?Your thoughts arent you.  Hugs.', 'Good, please keep going.  Unfortunately, Depression has to be chased out :( and its never easy.  One day at a time, I guess :)', 'Im glad to hear from you.  I dont have any Sharp Pain and/or easy solutions.  I strongly recommend you talk to someone on 18002738255.  I am currently at work, but will get back to you as soon as I can.  It seems to me, as you are on /r/suicidewatch that the current situation is unsustainable, and something *MUST* change.  Just because we accept something, doesnt mean we have to like it.  You have alternatives regarding GR surgery, and I honestly believe, as tough as they may be, they are better than depending on a Narcissistic Birthgiver whose promises may not be worth anything anyhow.Please contact 1-800-273-8255 and have a talk.  ', 'That sounds rough.  Please remember that your situation is out of the ordinary.  In time you will live somewhere else, and have friends there, or if you decide to stay you will have friends where you are.  The present moment sounds grim, but its not going to be like that forever.  Im at work, but will get back to you ASAP.  Hugs and my thoughts are with you on the morning after Thanksgiving.  Its going to get better for sure.', 'Well done for trying.', 'Here is a link to a [POST](http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/2n979i/how_i_deal_with_my_depression/) I made which, among a few other things, describes my ""In-The-Head-Council"".  It helps a lot when I ""name"" the ""Personas"" that try and chatter in my head.  It also helps me accept and manage.  e.g. ""Gollum"" is Mr. Negative; when he starts sayin his negative piece I simply accept, and tell him to STFU.I dont suffer from DID, but I do have intrusive thoughts.  Accepting that this simply happens, but I can choose to accept, reject or consider such thoughts is helpful.Remember, the subtext to your IT is that you may need to take a short 5 minute ""spell"" & take it easy on yourself.  Have a hug! :)', 'Sometimes when we are exposed to a pattern of abuse (Tired common in dysfunctional families like ours) we feel like we are the crazy ones.  We arent.  Our families are fucked.Im glad you feel a little bit better.  Your Father is insane.  You are on /r/SuicideWatch -- its time to take drastic action -- I think you need to take a break from your family and have no contact with them.  If your father throws a tantrum (Narcs have behaviour patterns akin to 2 year olds) then you *will know he is insane*.  *Appearing Rational* and *Being Rational* arent the same.  Narcs have immense powers of illusion.  Take those away from them and they are pitiful freaks.  Sadly, the Prognosis for Narcs in never good -- you can only go No Contact & Stop Enabling them... But whatever you do, do not harm yourself.  Hugs. ', 'You are welcome.  Dont hate yourself.  Dont hate.', '[This may help.](https://courageousclarity.wordpress.com/2015/02/04/escaping-Depression/)', 'I think you might benefit from /r/raisedbynarcissists.  Your father is a criminal, and you have proof of breaking and entering.  I would recommend reporting him to the police.Your Dad is gaslighting you.  Stay away from him.Id recommend checking out www.nnsd.com.  Can you change the locks on your apartment with your Landlords consent?  Talk to your Landlord.HugsPS> of pretending to have Depression for attentionYour Father [may fit the bill as a sociopath](http://www.lightshouse.org/the-sociopath-parent.html#axzz3JV7q8hsR).  If he is, hes an inadequate monster, more deserving of pity than hatred.  *But you do need to stay away from him and his Enablers!*', 'It might help if you spoke to [1-800-273-TALK](http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/).  I also wonder if a lightbox might not help lift your Depression -- as you describe it it seems to be initiated by darkness.  ', 'Im afraid that your relationship with this person isnt the solution.  Any relationship where you ""cant live without someone"" is, Im sorry to say, IMO unhealthy.I think you need to keep the focus on yourself.  A relationship will never give you what you need.  You must build a relationship with yourself first and above all.[Lifeline is here to give you the support you deserve](http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/).  Hugs.  It does get better.  I know.', '[Have you been to this kind of interview?](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2hfi10/serious_what_question_did_you_refuse_to_answer_in/cksnf43)Do any of these names sound familiar?Chris NiarchosMichael ScullyMike BlaneJames OGradyTony FernandezJames BucklyeLiam LawlessPaul BurkettRory OFarrellShane WardCommission only, cost-mark-up, kind of like a Pyramid Sales Scam. About 1 in 10,000 of people who work at the job for over a year make about 70,000 -- 100,000 USD per year. The rest earn a pittance for 14 hours hard labour.  Dont make the mistake I made.  If you have fallen for this, leave ASAP.  There is nothing for anyone here.If anyone knows of names of this (international) network of ""individual"" sales cult companies please add their name in comments.Appco Group, The Cobra Group, Flawless Marketing Limited, Roar Promotions Ltd, DS-Max, Mantra Marketing.', '> Im Tired of trying so hard just to have friends, someone to talk to. You need to be heard.  But although friends can be a help, you actually really need to find a support group.  > I have a superiority complex, despite my self image, I look down upon people. When I look into the mirror I see nothing but disgust, an image that I dont want to present to people. I dont want to be the person I look down upon myself.Does anyone in your family or did anyone in your family abuse alcohol or drugs?  That sounds Tired like me when I was growing up.  As an Adult Child of an Alcoholic I felt just the way you describe.  I despised myself just as I despised others.My first step to recovery was to begin by stopping hating others and myself.  I think you could benefit by checking out /r/alanon and think about attending a support group.  You probably qualify for Al-Anon or Nar-Anon.I think you need to talk to someone and consider getting some help.  ', 'One thing that has helped me with my OCD is to remember, always ""Im not the centre of the Universe!"".  I would feel responsible for *everything*.  ""If only..."" *was* my catchphrase.Now, the good news is you are perfectly normal.  You are not ugly, nor are you retarded.  IMO, you need to talk to yourself as you would a cherished friend. One thing I cannot Stress enough.  The solution to Life is within, not without.  If you looked different (you are NOT ugly) etc. you would still have Life to deal with.A good cure for OCD is to get involved a bit.  Do not strive to ""Be percieved as""; strive to ""Be"".  Be a good person.  That is within your power.Anyhow, please remember that when you do start thinking of yourself as ""ugly"" or ""retarded"" your perception is distorted, and actuality is Tired different from your percieved reality.  Hope this helps -- glad you are getting help.  Well done.  Keep it up.', 'I recovered from a nasty break-up by going NO CONTACT.  I did not email, call, or talk to my ex.  It helps to cut off contact.Im going to suggest to you that you might want to try being grateful for the break-up.  Sometimes, just because we accept something, doesnt mean we have to like it.  And the same is true of Lifes harsh but helpful learning experiences.Now is the time to build a good relationship with yourself.  Literally take yourself out on dates; do good things for yourself.  You are an awesome person and your worth is defined by You.  Sometimes it takes a lot of work to build a healthy relationship with yourself.Flush the pills.  Abstain from self-harm.  You have power over yourself.', '\xe2\x80\x9cSooner or later in life everyone discovers that perfect happiness is unrealizable, but there are few who stop to consider the antithesis; that perfect unhappiness is equally unattainable.\xe2\x80\x9dPrimo LeviI srongly recommend you seek help for your Depression.', 'I strongly recommend you flush the pills down the toilet.  Seriously.  You have commented here and that ISNT a mistake.', '>  Im a loser in every sense of the wordFirst things first; make a real effort to stop the negative dialogue you have with yourself.  Your perceptions are clearly distorted, and how you see yourself and how you are are not the same thing.I would strongly suggest you seek support, therapy and maybe go on meds to deal with your perception issues.  A job will not change how you see yourself, and right now you are too harsh on yourself.  Well done for reaching out; now if you can start working on ways to limit your Anxiety then you will start to find that your life begins to fix itself.  I know.', 'Dear **Originality_101**.  I care about you, and you are not alone.  You are not sane right now, and I want you to talk this over.  Please kindly call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you\xe2\x80\x99ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number1-800-273-8255 (H-E-L-P) [Click **HERE** to Chat](http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/)Michel de Montaigne wrote... *It is the part of cowardice, not of courage, to go and crouch in a hole under a massive tomb, to avoid the blows of fortune.*I believe in you, and you are not a coward.  Dont kill yourself, dont prove me wrong.', 'You are welcome.  Please dont harm yourself.  You are valuable, and things will improve.  You can change the way your life is, and its worth the effort.', 'Whenever I think about ""Whats it all for?"" I come back to the quote from ""Full Metal Jacket"". > The Dead know one thing, and one thing only.  It is better to be alive.Most people are not alive to the incredible improbability of what being alive actually means.  We get a few dozen trips around the Sun, and thats it.  Atheist here.  Although I find Reincarnation a fun concept, if I lose all recall I am no longer.  Life is, and we are.  Lets talk.', 'Im working right now, but I hope you are doing OK.', 'I care about you too, Throwaway_1101101.  Hang in there, its awesome that you are asking for help.', 'You are welcome.  I would suggest you try the chat solution?  Im sorry you had a bad experience.There are solutions.  If you have been impacted by alcohol/drug abuse from a family member (even a grandparent) Al-Anon or Nar-Anon can really help.', 'Talk to someone on [1-800-273-TALK](http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/)Its really tough what you are going through, but you are not alone.', '1-800-273-TALK', 'While you are alive, Life can always get better.', 'Im glad you are putting some of your Feeling angry out here on /r/suicidewatch.', 'Al-Anon is for the family of the alcoholic.  You would go.  His recovery is up to him.Hes been court-ordered to AA as a Hail Mary Pass; if he continues to abuse substances then the prognosis is not good.I suggest you give Al-Anon a try, as it will be supportive for you.  It really helped me :)', 'Might I suggest a support group for people suffering from Depression?  I know its a colossal effort to do *anything* when you are feeling low.', 'I think you should call 9-1-1 and get help NOW.', '\xe2\x80\x9cSooner or later in life everyone discovers that perfect happiness is unrealizable, but there are few who stop to consider the antithesis; that perfect unhappiness is equally unattainable.\xe2\x80\x9d-- Primo Levihttp://www.libertyinnorthkorea.org/Dealing with the truly horrific is something that helped lift me out of a 37-year-long depression.  For some reason, discovering just how truly awful the World *can be* & trying to make a miniscule difference helped me a tiny bit.  Give it a try.http://www.redditp.com/r/holokauston', 'Ouch.  It sounds Tired tough.  When I was feeling down I talked to the [Samaritans](http://www.samaritansusa.org/contact.php) and that helped some?You dont have to deal with this colossal load all by yourself.  ', 'Please reconsider.  I tried to kill myself when I was 19, and Im now REALLY glad I failed.', 'There is a UK based bipolar support group you can find [here](http://www.bipolaruk.org.uk/self-help-group-map.html) with multiple meetings that may help?Try to eat and try to exercise a little.  Im glad youre here, and you have people to turn to.', 'You should call the hotline ASAP.', 'National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number1-800-273-8255', 'Please call 1-800-273-TALK.  Your life is not worthless.  I wouldnt be on here if it was.  Please talk to someone about this.', '> I feel so subhuman and inferior that things that are normal for others seem impossible for me. >  Don\xe2\x80\x99t Compare Your Behind-the-Scenes to Other People\xe2\x80\x99s Highlight Reel>  Feelings arent factsIf somebody is laughing at you, then they have issues, not you.  Unfortunately your abusive siblings and abusive/minimizing parents have helped you form a warped perspective on life.Keep working at it.  If you have been affected by somebody elses drug abuse or alcohol abuse then you may want to consider Al-Anon or Nar-Anon; the kind of people you will find at these meetings may be the kind of people you need to spend time with.  Hugs.', 'Put Pressure on your self-inflicted injury and call 911.  Do so now.', 'Hugs.  Hugs, and more hugs.Your whole family is impacted by your brothers alcoholism.  I suggest you think about Al-Anon; here is a [link to their over-the-phone meetings](http://www.phonemeetings.org/), they are Tired helpful.  Here are some [links](http://www.iamtransgendered.com/SupportGroups.aspx) for TG Support Groups.As an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, I am Tired familiar with the grinding Anxiety and the judgement that gets flung around in an alcoholic family.  Remember this:  You are NOT to blame; you have every right to be treated with dignity and loving-kindness.  If people fall short of this minimum standard **THATS ON THEM and THEIR CONSCIENCES (if any!)** NOT on you.  Im sorry you live in a Red State, but that doesnt necessarily mean that everyone who lives in the same state is ignorant and misguided.Now you are here on /r/suicidewatch, and this is concerning.  So Ill say what I always say:  All other priorities are rescinded -- you need to get the help and support you deserve.  Remember that there is no unhappiness too great to be lessened.You are a wonderful TG Person, and all that you have is a severe case of stress.  Your brothers alcoholism is driving everyone who knows him into dysfunction.  He needs to get help, but thats up to him -- you cant do it for him.  If he is offering violence, then you need to consider having him arrested.  His habit is dangerous to his health and highly illegal.Your Dad is putting Pressure on you because hes suffering from stress.  Get help, I heartily recommend Al-Anon, but please do it only if you feel its right for you.  Its not a religious programme, and all meetings are there for anyone and everyone -- LGBT, Hetro, Pan -- Sexuality is not an issue in Al-Anon.Please get help.  You are a gorgeous, wonderful person, and deserve help and support.', '>  i honesty wish i could kill myself, but i cant. Good, Im Tired glad to hear it.  OK, for what its worth...You need help, & you need support.  Support your Friends & Family are simply 1) Not Qualified to Give & 2) Even if they *were* qualified they would be too enmeshed to do so.I would recommend you call 1-800-273-8255.  I am familiar with the grinding relentless Anxiety, and I would strongly recommend you might want to try [Nar-Anon, the support group for family of addicts](http://www.nar-anon.org/).  If you are here, then all other priorities are rescinded, and you MUST get help.  Your friends simply cannot (not will not -- cannot) give you the help and support you deserve and need.Im glad you posted here, and you do need to get help.  Hugs.', 'As a qualified doctor, your position is actually Tired strong.  Talk to your creditors and explain they can 1) Not get paid or 2) Wait to get paid.Worse case scenario, you go bankrupt.  *You are still alive*, and right now, things can *only* get better.  One day at a time.  Sleep, get some exercise, and deal with today and today only.  When things are tough, break it down so its a little bit at a time.  You are on SW so you are *already* moving forward.  Baby steps and all will be well.\xe2\x80\x9cRemember that man lives only in the present, in this fleeting instant; all the rest of his life is either past and gone, or not yet revealed. Short, therefore, is mans life, and narrow is the corner of the earth wherein he dwells.\xe2\x80\x9dMarcus AureliusLive in the Now, and you will find source for a great deal of happiness.  Your wife is a brick, and she will be happy just knowing you have decided to go on living, and remember""The Dead know only one thing, and one thing only.  It is better to be alive.""Live for today, and tomorrow will be dealt with tomorrow.  Its going to be OK.  Practice your caligraphy, and keep taking your AD medication (or get on some if you do not have any!).  As someone who has suffered from Depression for 40-odd years I know that sometime it is rough.  But with treatment Life ""Re-engages"" IYKWIM.  There is always Hope.> Sooner or later in life everyone discovers that perfect happiness is unrealizable, but there are few who pause to consider the antithesis: that perfect unhappiness is equally unattainable. The obstacles preventing the realization of both these extreme states are of the same nature: they derive from our human condition which is opposed to everything infinite. Primo Levi, Survival in Auschwitz', 'You are carrying a heavy load.  I find that life is better if I focus on myself and focus on now.  Then I can address my Pain.You are a decent person; I hope reading this helps.', 'You are asking for help, well done.  ', 'You might want to try talking to someone at [the Samaritans](http://www.samaritansusa.org/contact.php).  Ive been at the place you describe, and it *does and can* get better.', 'As a long term sufferer from CPTSD, I get it.  The grinding Anxiety about the future is a bear for sure.  I find reading Marcus Aurelius restful, and I came across this quote a little while after my last reply that I thought Id share...\xe2\x80\x9cRemember that man lives only in the present, in this fleeting instant; all the rest of his life is either past and gone, or not yet revealed. Short, therefore, is mans life, and narrow is the corner of the earth wherein he dwells.\xe2\x80\x9dMarcus AureliusIf one can make that fleeting instant pleasant by desiting from worry and focusing on the *now* then Life begins to improve.Please do call the support line and get help.  CPTSD and ongoing abuse is a dreadful mix.  We have the courage to change and it is *always* worth the effort.', '> They keep getting closer and I get jack shit except for complaints about how ""fucking stupid"" I am and how lazy I am. Ive had a friend in the past who really wasnt a friend at all.  It sounds to me as if you could use some help and some time away from these people.Youre on /r/suicidewatch; you literally have nothing to lose.  Perhaps its better to lose your ""friends"" if they are just wholly negative toward you?  I am learning to be a good friend to myself.  Its really important.', 'From your username, it could be that you have issues with addiction?  It might be worthwhile starting attending NA meetings if that is the case (and/or Nar-Anon if you have family members who have addictions).  Addressing these issues may help you on the gradual move towards feeling OK, if you know what I mean.It can get better, and there is help for you.', '[1-800-273-8255](http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/) hugs', '> I wanted to end my life over something so stupid I laugh at it now, maybe mine wasnt as terrible but i still thought of suicide. Me too!  ', '> Its embarrassing being an adult living with your parents, working part time at a minimum wage job.Dont let it get you down.  I lived with my parents until I was 27.  Right now, you are *trying*, and that, my friend, is fuckin awesome.Right now idiots your age are rushing off to die in some sandy shithole murdering at the beck of sociopaths.  Yet you are at home, working hard to try and *make* something of yourself.  Fuck yeah, you rock dude.You feel like you are not going anywhere.  **Feelings arent facts**.Call someone on the support line, talk it over.  Your writing is excellent, BTW.  You have a lot going for you.  Youre still Tired, Tired, Tired young.  Please get old.  Believe me, Life changes, and if you keep working at it, it gets easier.', 'First of all, Happy Birthday for 11/21/2014.  You share a birthday with [JRR Tolkiens son](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Tolkien).Having read your post, its clear to me, that your ""friends"" who are declining to repay you are scum.  Your ex-BF is...>my bf barely shed a tear and actually went as far as to say that I lack good morals bc Im so upset over a rabbitYour ex-BF sounds mildly Delusional disorder and clearly has issues.  Hes not able to give you the support that you need.First of all, well done for coming here.  IMO you need to be more self-focused.  Dont help your friends out.  Friendships are essentially micro-economies, and if its all red on your side of the balance sheet, then you need to call it.  Period.  You are an awesome person, but youre burnt out through over-giving.Your father has been incredibly inconsiderate...> My birthday was friday and not many people said anything about it. My father didnt say a word to me. Its time to say, ""OK, enough already"".  Youre on /r/suicidewatch it doesnt get much worse than this.  Spend some time talking on (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number) 1-800-273-8255.I will be here for you.  Im at work at the moment, but reply to my post and I will be back.Happy Birthday and a hug from me.  You are an awesome, smart person.  Youve just had too much to deal with.Im so sorry about your rabbit.  The Vets clearly incompetent.Get the help you deserve and clearly need.  Put the focus on yourself.  You are NOT required to set yourself on fire in order to keep other people warm.More hugs. ', '> he does feel guiltyQuestion... do you see him feeling guilt, or does *he tell you hes feeling guilt*?In any case, he is not respecting your boundaries (and neither is your Mother!  She is supporting him in this) and this needs to end.  Hes gaslighting you, and I would suggest leaving a match fragment balanced in an inconspicous place or similar.  Then you will know he has entered your domicile.  He is breaking and entering -- *just because he has means of egress does not mean he is legally authorised to do so*.  He is violating his Employers Trust and can lose his job for this.He needs to wake the fuck up.Hope you are doing OK.  De Nada, anything I can do to help.', '[1-800-273-8255](http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/)> I feel as if I am a huge disappointment who can do nothing right whenever I do something for someone which is almost every day I get told how I screwed it up or how it could be betterIt sounds to me as if you are giving out too much.  For what its worth> I am not obligated to set myself on fire to keep you warm.Furthermore, you seem to be around hypercritical people who may be projecting their inadequacies on you.  It might be worthwhile reviewing the economies of your relationship.With regard to your Fiance, I am somewhat concerned.  If your relationship where the concept of being without her is unthinkable, then its probably unhealthy.I dont want to give you advice because Im simply not qualified.  However, given that you are here, I think the best thing you can do is call the hotline and discuss your feelings.  That may help.  And it may be time to sit down with a cup of coffee and try to work out what you want.  Dont Pain yourself.  You are a caring, loving person.  IMO you are giving too much and caring too much.  Its OK to give, but not to the point where you are Asthenia and Asthenia and contemplating self-harm.  Thats a ""STOP!"" sign right there.You have to start focusing on self-care.  All other priorities must be rescinded.  You are not obligated to set fire to yourself to keep others warm.', 'Sorry, but Im just going to say you shouldnt harm yourself.  Youre here, were here to help.', 'Welcome back to actuality.  You are Tired brave to tell this, and its a healthy decision.  I strongly suggest you talk this out with someone on [1-800-273-TALK](http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/).  You may need treatment for what sounds a bit like [pure O OCD] (http://www.steveseay.com/pure-o-ocd-pure-obsessional-ocd/).  Please get help.', 'De Nada :)Ive tried to commit suicide twice and I failed both times.  Im really, really, really grateful that I failed.  Its always better to be alive.> Sooner or later in life everyone discovers that perfect happiness is unrealizable, but there are few who pause to consider the antithesis: **that perfect unhappiness is equally unattainable.**The obstacles preventing the realization of both these extreme states are of the same nature: they derive from our human condition which is opposed to everything infinite.*Primo Levi, Survival in Auschwitz*[More quotes](http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/4187.Primo_Levi)Please feel free to PM me.  Im at work for a while, but will reply when I can :)', 'You are welcome.  I find the ""Full Metal Jacket"" quote the ""usque ad finem"" of ""Why am I alive?""Im alive because Im not dead yet, and death will be for a long, long time.', 'Agreed.', 'OK Im here for you.  Having a Narc Birthgiver and sustained a tremendous amount of abuse, I know how you feel.There is much, much more to my life than managing Pain.  It is unbelievable how much better it can be.Advice isnt what you ne",Attempt
user-111,"['i watched a documentary where they talked about a guy who played blues guitar.... he got polio and was crippled, i believe he also was badly injured in a stampede during a fire in a night club... anyway, this guy was in a wheel chair and did not have full use of his arms/hands... he taught himself to play by using a butterknife to play chords and as a slide... he adapted to his condition and was able to keep making music... if he could adapt, you can too.... somehow his Disability made his music that much more powerful and impressive. also, you are a good person, that girl was so lucky you were there. dont kill yourself, the world needs people like you.', 'Learn to play an instrument or paint. People with hard lives make the best art. U could be a great blues musician. ', 'youll miss out on the next tupac, biggie and other greats. i cant wait to see the next ""the greatest"" ', 'hey, zeppelin rules. if youre a zeppelin fan, that means (obviously) you enjoy and appreciate their music. (and probably other awesome music too? maybe CREAM?) anyway, if you appreciate the music then of course there are things out there that you can enjoy, music and otherwise. And who know... what if the next zeppelin or jimmy page is right around the corner? it would suck if you missed out on discovering them. imagine how you felt the first time you heard Stairway to Heaven (or whatever song you dig?) and know that that ""OMG this is awesome"" moment can/will happen again... so long as you stick around.']",Supportive
user-112,"['Ive recently had a string of unfortunate freak accidents in the same vein, the kicker was my bitchy dog (pun intended as she was a lady) died of bone cancer. Ive had her since I was itty bitty, so I know that feeling. Doesnt help that it was preceded and proceded by a string of baby animals under my care dying. Sure the chances werent good to begin with, but every little death has just chipped away at my soul since then.  My mother has a hobby farm and all I can see anymore is a bunch of things I love Im going to have to watch die.As to your question, Criminal justice, see Clerks 2 for how that goes, ""What were we, trying to be Batman?"" The job market for the Batman is understandably limited. ', 'Honestly, I dont know.  I originally wanted to be a lawyer, then I thought about just going into law enforcement in general, but I mentally talked myself out of it, and I really dont think I have the right mindset to be enforcing anything. Not to mention, guns scare the shit out of me and I doubt Id be able to use one, BB guns make me nervous. Yeah, so that degree is entirely worthless. As are my many, MANY credits in other fields. ', 'No, it couldnt, my method isnt going anywhere and Im trying to convince myself that I shouldnt by snuggling with puppies. Its not working. All I can think is how I dont want to see them grow up and die just like every single other thing Ive ever loved in my life that isnt a human being. Which would be everything but like five people. ']",Ideation
user-113,"['The life you described may not be worth living but you dont have to accept *that* life.So tell us more about yourself, why are you a fuck up and a disappointment?', 'Well you should either just go to AA and keep it a secret or acknowledge that getting help isnt something to be embarrassed about. How long have you stuck to an AA program?', 'I just want to say I am glad you posted this and I hope I or someone else can help you out. Ive been involved with drugs, never heroin, but I do know how difficult it can be to get clean and you should definitely take pride in that. If you can overcome a heroin addiction, you CAN overcome Depression, they both require the same determination and motivation so you CAN beat this.Having said that, it seems to me that there are three things you need to deal with, in order:1. Your own Depression, you need to get a handle on this, beat it. Have you taken any steps toward this, like maybe getting help from a therapist or talking to your doctor?2. Do what you can to help your ex, even if you never date again you still care about her and when you care about people you try to help them. So if you can, figure out what steps SHE is taking to deal with her Depression and bipolar tendencies. Is she on medication? Seeing a doctor? A therapist? If she isnt, you need to encourage her to do so.Having said that, you need to understand that you are not going to be able to force her to get help nor are you responsible for doing so. You have limited options and all you can do is exhaust them.3. Your relationship with her....the best way to address this one is to help yourself get over your Depression and do what you can to help her get over hers. Once the two of you are doing better, you can talk about where to go from there. Maybe you get back together, maybe she stays with this current guy, maybe neither.But first you both have to get help', 'Yes therapy works and you should give it a try.If you dont need it, you can stop at one appointment.If you feel it helps and the therapist agrees, go again!', 'It sounds like Mary is a bit of a bitch, someone just using you.>I skip too many classes and end up fucking myself out of it. I even changed my major to undeclared, but I cant stay in because I always ask myself why Im there.What do you do when you skip?>-I have not had my own room my entire life. I still have a fucking bunk bed for christs sake.This sucks, but you are 20, plenty of time to change man>-I feel like I missed out on the entire high-school experience. While kids were off hanging out or skipping school to get drunk, I shyed away or was never invitedI was the kid who went to every party, I got kicked out of school and was using drugs while my peers were partying AND going to schoolI guess my point is, yea you missed out and that sucks, but we all miss out on something, you have to focus on the future and how you can experience what you want to experience.>-My family. My brother has gotten a weird attitude recently and has been a jerk to everyone, my father is as close to me as we are to the sun and my mother is an overbearing control freakFamily can suck, if they arent supportive just try to block them out and keep them from holding you down.>-My current friends. Besides Mary, Im upset at my friends. Sometimes I dont know why, but other times I feel like they take advantage of me because Im the only friend with a carMaybe they are, if that is the case then go make new friends!>-The only thing I do is play videogames and I hate it. I have nothing to do and it drive me insane sometimesWhy dont you start a daily exercise program, have something to do AND get in better shape?>So, why do I keep going, reddit? Why should I possibly keep doing what I do every day? Why go to bed excited for the dawn of a new day? I dont want your ""itll get better"" messages, I want some fuel for my fire.So you can be happy, get into shape, meet people you like, get a job you like, meet someone you love, take her to Paris or the Moon, have children, buy Reddit...What meds are you on and were you honest with your therapist?', 'lol noooBut I do think ""Meh, if worst comes to worst I can always rob a bank and flee to Canada""', 'Not that bad!Assuming you live somewhere in the south and wont freeze.Why not try walking there, maybe you wont even go anywhere, just walk 3 miles and back. Get away from the house for an hour and a half and get some exercise while doing it', 'Try to set aside some time for yourself, just to relax and do something fun.If things stay like this, make sure to return to your Dr and talk to him, maybe change your meds or visit a psychiatrist ', 'I dont know enough about you to comment on anything else, but you can write well.', 'Because you still want to live, if you didnt why would you come here?You want to live, you want to get over your ex and move one, make new friends, meet new women.You want to get a job you can enjoy, find a school you want to learn in, you want to keep on living.It just feels like you are buried right now, you want to get out from under the heavy pile of sand but it feels insurmountable.It might feel insurmountable but you have to remember that it isnt, you have to break the mountain into small pieces and then start climbing!=', 'Maybe they are, that doesnt mean they cannot help you...Maybe you should look at it as ""these people are what i will become if i dont change"".', 'haha yea, it is odd but I mean it :D', 'How long have you been on those two?', '>I enjoy it a lot, yes. The money could be substantially better, but Im currently willing to make the tradeoff because of how much I like my current position. I am actively exploring alternative options, though, so that may change in the near future.Enjoying your job is definitely the most important thing, you dont want to take a shitty job and go deeper into Depression. So long as you are able to afford the necessities, no reason to change.>ECT is something I absolutely will not do. I had a family member who was also bipolar and went through several rounds of ECT ""treatment"", and it absolutely demolished his mind. I barely even knew him, but it scared the hell out of me, and I have no real desire to undergo the procedure. Im not sure a 100% remission rate would convince me to try it.Fair enough, was just throwing it out at there as a last ditch effort that has to be better than suicide. I cant say that I would go for that option either, kinda freaks me out to be honest.>I spend the majority of my manic time in the state classed as hypomania, which is actually Tired enjoyable and easy to put to good use. I am highly productive, Tired focused, much more socially tolerable than usual, and so on. Once that transitions into pure mania there is Tired little I can do to control it, and Ive tried quite a bit.Yea Ive read about hypomania and how it may have certain advantages towards productivity etc....it is actually Tired interesting, the way you can ""get"" into this hyperproductive state that can give you certain advantages over the rest of us and yet you also have to deal with the mania and the Depression.>The problem is that it becomes impossible to channel all the mental energy into anything; its like a kid being extremely hyperactive. My thoughts just bounce around between random subjects, often with no clarity or substance - just fleeting impressions. Doing anything mentally intensive like programming is all but impossible, because as soon as I sit down, Ive jumped back up to go do something else... which I abandon again once I start, in favor of yet another distraction.Any chance you can try something creative? Programming is a fairly inflexible Perhaps try something like painting, even if you dont paint, that way your mind can wander completely?And I admit I am a bit curious as to what would happen if you were in such a state and started exercising, would you just get bored and stop running or would you seem to have endless energy and exercise too much?', 'Any chance of talking to your academic adviser and dropping a class?Are you really drowning in homework or does it just feel like it? Ive ""drowned"" in homework that took me an hour to do, which in hindsight wasnt really much homework at all.What is your major?Why are you losing interest in it?What year are you in?', 'Look for a Community Health Center[Link](http://www.massleague.org/CHC/FindHealthCenter.php)You havent Exhaustion all of your options, you still have some so dont give up!', 'I dont know if your childhood was amazing, but I do know that it isnt over.You are still Tired young, you still have a ton of life in which you can pack full of fun experiences.If your best friends go to parties, why not ask them if you can come along?The biggest things I regret about my high school years are the things I didnt try, if you ask a girl out and get rejected..so what? If you want to go to a party, call a friend and ask for a ride...or just drive yourself.Take a chance or two, you will fail sometimes, maybe often...but you cant get what you want if you stay on Reddit all day.', 'You had a shitty therapist, dont let that experience deter you from finding a new one.If you can afford it, you really should look into a therapist who specializes in traumatic events like Rape and just be honest with her/him.Tell them everything, about your childhood, about the abuse, the rape etc...pour your heart out, so they can help you, so they can help you get over this and back into the swing of things where you can enjoy living life with your child.', 'What do you mean about your hobbies being work?', 'Have you tried talking with your parents about this?Explaining how much you love them and how grateful you are for what they have done for you but how you feel they smother you?', 'How about you run through it here?Or just start with ""Ive been feeling horrible lately and have been considering suicide""', 'No, but this is something  you should definitely mention to a doctor', 'Any idea why her case manager is so far away?', 'Not even Reddit?', 'How many counselors have you seen?It sucks that you havent found one who will actually listen to you and is willing and able to help you.>I cannot help but think that their type of aid is nothing more than words meandering as aid.But words CAN and DO help, in fact they have proven to be pretty damn effective...If you do feel interested, look for a local medical clinic, they tend to charge fees based on how much you can pay so...', 'First thing you should do is take a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds, slowly exhale.Do that for a minute or two, slow, deep breaths..And then you need to realize this emotion can be used to change you for the better, what things are you unhappy with?Do you want to get into better shape?Do you want to make more friends?Do you want to find a new hobby/activity to spend time on?', 'Does she understand she is hearing things or doe she actually *believe* they are real?Try to get her to calm down, to breath slow and deep', 'The good news is that you are still at the beginning of your therapy, a month and half is too short to say it is failing but if you do feel like it isnt helping, just tell your therapist.You say you dont know what you want, that isnt unusual for a 20 year student and it isnt unusual to struggle in college.What do you enjoy doing? Video games, reddit etc..?', 'Id advise you to see a therapist yourself, that way he/she can give you advice on how to help her and possibly convince her to come in with you.That way you get expert advice in how to help her on your own AND how to get her into the office herself', 'I think you need to do a few things...First, you need to sit down and think about your current therapist..you have been seeing him/her for 7 years and from your description, things arent working out. Maybe it is time for you to find a new therapist, one who can help you?In regards to your self harm, it sounds like you have tried fairly passive means of avoiding it...ie reading, drinking tea, watching movies. Perhaps you should try something more active? [Good List](http://www.mirror-mirror.org/selfinj.htm)I know that when Im Anxiety, just trying something passive doesnt work, I have to go for a run, lift weights etc...so perhaps you need to try something like that', 'Tell me about yourself, how old are you?Are you in school?Working?What medications have you tried? Are you still on them?Same for therapy?How did you fuck everyone over?You need a reason?Dont you want a chance to be happy, to do something you love, find someone you love?', 'When were you last on meds? Seeing a counselor?Your doctor has no idea why you have low test?What do you mean about a Testosterone supplement making things worse?What is your useless degree in?Lastly, I win the internets! :)', 'Because you *want* to keep living, you want to get your life back on track, you want to find someone to love...You cant do that if you throw in the towel..You are only 19, youve had a tough life (I know people with Oxy and coke addictions), but you cant let that ruin your life.If you need help avoiding opiates, look for a local Narcotics Anonymous, they do great work!Plus, think about the positives..youve had a relationship with at least two women by the age of 19, that puts you in the top 10% of Redditors ', 'You should give it another try, look for a new psychologist, give it another shot.2 years is a long time and you may have gotten a dud, some psychologists just plain suck', 'That sucks, I definitely understand the Fear that you will get a bad lawyer, Im trying to think of a way to find one without a friend recommending someone...Maybe try searching Google for the terms ""X country, divorce, forum""..try to find a forum where divorced parents from your area might hang out and ask around?', '>Im not going to gamble my savings on a professional who might be even crazier than I.Do you mean you wont visit a psychiatrist?Why not? If you have insurance it shouldnt be that expensive and they can help, you might have a social disorde, Depression or maybe some form of bipolar disorder.Behavioral therapy sounds like it would work for you, help you take criticism without panicking, same goes for seeing romance and sexuality etc..Im not sure Depression fits you as you appear to have plenty of motivation, going on dates, working out 5 days a Asthenia and maintaining a job.So to sum it up :P why dont you want to see a therapist?', 'Its good that you are trying some new meds and try to keep an open mind about them. They are fairly successful so you might find a winner.And if you feel that way about your support system, tell them that. Tell them you are unhappy with the way they want to take such a passive approach.', 'Have you brought it up again with a doctor, pursued it medically?', 'Can you point to anything specific that is causing your Depression?I think you should definitely consider trying an antidepressant, to be honest, they are better than just drowning in the misery of alcohol.Some people react poorly but for a lot of people, they can have a great effect.And who knows, maybe you just need to talk to a therapist?', 'Your brain is in a constant state of flux, it can change...and so can you, you can go from being Depression to being happy.From wanting to die to wanting to live...', 'In regards to your Anxiety, you should definitely look up exposure therapy.Basically you make a plan and slowly but repeatedly expose yourself to a situation that causes Anxiety and over time your brain/body realize that sitting in the library wont Pain you.Why is your car so expensive? Any chance you can trade it in for something more financially manageable?', 'And just as importantly, when was the last time you tried it...I just read an article that most people treated for Depression relapse within 5 years, so you certainly arent alone.', 'Are you sure about that?Last I saw, the military was taking pretty much everyone they could find...', 'I feel the same about being an actor, I can adjust and adapt my personality to fit whatever situation I am in.But just because things are tough now doesnt mean you will always be this way.What steps have you taken to change your life?', 'Well thats a problem, you arent thinking about the positives..You arent a devil, you arent a monster...Im sure you have good qualities and you need to think about them', 'Why havent you had a friend since you were 13?How do you fuck them up, any chance of more details?', 'Im going to guess it had something to do with your childhood, but I could be wrong.What prevents you from doing those things? A lack of motivation?Anxiety when you go out in public?', '50lbs is fantastic, how much have you gained back?Is it possible you are putting on some muscle?You should check out R/Fitness and their FAQ on exercise and dieting', 'Can you go into more detail about this?Maybe you just had a shitty therapist?What did you talk about and recommend you try?', 'Like you, I missed out on a lot of fun things in my childhood. I couldnt get over my imperfections and they drove me to develop extreme Anxiety and then abuse drugs.You are right, you wont be able to go back and be a carefree 14 year old boy playing spin the bottle with the neighborhood hottie.....and that sucks, it really does.But it isnt the end of life, you are still 17, you still have a ton of fun shit to experience, you have college and then your twenties and in todays world you even have your 30s.You missed out on some fun, but everyone does, the key is to focus on the future and improving it, not on the past.Why do you you have to move out and fully support yourself the instant you turn 18?Have you told this to anyone in person, any friends, confidants, family?A therapist?', '1. When you feel it is necessary2. Do you see a psychiatrist? If you do, bring it up. If you dont, start seeing one.3. You get committed, lose some freedom, gain some help and hopefully come out healthy', 'Have you tried telling her that?Something like ""I care about you so when I hear you say you want to commit suicide, I naturally want to know more, I want to know why you feel so bad so I can help. But it is incredibly frustrating when you just brush me off after you make a comment like that""Other than doing that, Im not sure there is much you can do aside from maybe telling a closer friend of hers about it and hope they can reach her.', 'I can tell you are feeling pretty low right now but you have been knocked down so many times and you have managed to pull yourself back up, you want to change, to go to college and you have been busting your ass to do so. From your story you seem Tired determined to improve yourself, a lot of people would have given up after your first experience with college but you have kept at it, doggedly pursuing your goals and that is something you should be proud of.It is obvious that you feel like everything is hopeless(yea, I really am that perceptive) and you feel like you cannot get back up this time, but you made the smart move, the right move by reaching out to someone, in this case reddit, to get help, to look for someone who can reach down and help you get back on your Oedema of extremity and because of that I DO see hope for you. You have consistently shown an unusual level of determination and the fact that you are here tells me that you havent given up, you still want to stand back up, you want to get back on your Oedema of extremity and because of your determination I think you will, I think your desire and determination will help you stand back up.To get back to your Oedema of extremity, you need to take a deep breath and set your priorities.What do you need to do to achieve your goals?I would suggest that your first step should be to use Google and look for a local health clinic, they usually have sliding scales for payments and once you get in you can hopefully get a prescription for a generic that you can find at Walmart for as little as $4 a month.The doctor can also refer you to a therapist, which is what I would suggest should be your second step. Look for one that can accept a sliding scale.After that, you need to focus on finding a job so you can provide yourself with food, shelter etc... the necessities.Focus on developing a stable base, a secure platform that you can use to stand on as you look into college or trade school etc...', 'Have you tried going out for a daily run?Is there no city bus system you can use to get around?', 'By taking slow steps...You are a planner, so plan.A relationship of 6 years is a long time and it would be tough for anyone to accept, no one likes the thought of the person they love being with someone else, but eventually your heart moves on and finds someone new.In the meantime, you need to make a plan and stick with it.Go to class, set aside time to study and study!Start exercising more often, it will give you something to do and give you some more energy as well as make you socialize...which is the last step, you need to talk to people. Either your current friends or your old friends, just hang out with them and have fun and try to forget about your ex', 'It could be any of those, it could be the season, a lack of light.Having a good job doesnt make up for your friends being gone or your family being far away, it doesnt help your anemia(glad you are getting checked out!) or your hormones :PThe brain is so beautifully complicated, so many factors can effect it. Everything could be perfect and you still might feel Depression, or everything might be horrible and you can feel happy.', 'Of course you are that important, you might not realize it but there are people in the world who love you and you obviously love them or you wouldnt be afraid of them finding out you are Depression', 'So tell me about yourself...where are you at in life?High School, College, Career etc...?Why do you hate this planet, are you lonely? Anxious?', 'Look on the bright side...you had a long term relationship..hell you have more than one.Puts you in the top 20% of Reddit', 'Have you tried to work on your reaction to criticism?What would happen if someone you trusted criticized you after you asked them to? Would you still get upset?', 'I dont think it is that odd that she has attempted suicide but doesnt want to leave, Suicidal people arent completely rational..You should urge her to see a therapist, get some help...and while doing that try to explain that there are plenty of successful people who have quit their first jobs, who have been fired etc..', 'So why not do a project about the evolution in lifestyles of the average person from X point of time to Y?Look at how everyday life changed for people over a period of time, or the spread of Christianity or the similarities among the various ancient religions.', 'I dont believe that, Reddit for example is full of kind and caring people.Maybe you just need to find new people, cut out the fake ones?I dont know you, but I still care, I cant explain it, but I do...When was the last time you talked to a therapist or were on medication?Can you be more specific about the things you are fighting, struggling with?', 'See if you can talk her into going to a psychiatrist with you, that way you can try to keep her telling the truth about her situation, being honest about it.You say she is highly intelligent, does she do anything with herself? Is she working? Is she too mentally ill to work?', 'So maybe you should get new best friends?The fact they are using someone they do not like is a big strike against them as people, so why do you want to be around them?', 'How old are you right now?Are you still on medication?Seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist?How are you currently feeding yourself, accessing the internet etc..?', 'Well you had a shitty girlfriend but other than that, things sound pretty good. New city, plenty of new people to meet, new women to date, new sights to see..Just get out there, go for a walk on your birthday and check out a few local bars, meet some new people, get little bit drunk and go home realizing you are just 23 and by this time next year you will have a ton of friends and a hot girlfriend to celebrate with', 'Just try and focus on good things, productive things  until you can get back in to see your therapist, if you feel it coming on strong, give him/her a call and see if they can make room for you or spend 10 minutes talking with you via the phone.', 'Bike?Running/Walking?Horse?', 'Trying to stay positive is a great first step, the second step would be to stake more steps :P towards changing your life.    * Go out and meet people, try to make new friends and if you make enough, hopefully you find one you can trust    * What steps are you taking to change this?    * Same    * How poor? Are you working?    * Same here, all you can do is make an attempt to contact them and hope they respond    * See above    * No bullshit, this sucks. Life would be easier if you looked like George Clooney. But you dont and neither do I, so we have to bite out lips and make do with what we have.    * Look yourself in the mirror and say ""Fuck it, so what if I am not beautiful or handsome, it doesnt make me a worse person""    * Find a bar, go to bar. Just sit in the corner, the key is to slowly expose yourself to the new environment     * This should be changing at your age, all the smoking and drinking is slowing down as people begin to move onto the next stage in life and you are far from the only person who doesnt do those things    * The man makes the clothes    * How much debt, how is school going?    * Most people havent been out of the country, including myselfYou have a list of things you want to change, so break them down into bite sized chunks and get to work!', 'Well you have to ""talk to yourself"" about it, it just seems like a bad idea for you to keep hanging on to this hope when she is going to be ""gone"" for a long time.', 'I think you find it Exhaustion because you feel like you did this unforgivable thing, or something so crazy that people will find out and their jaws will drop in horror.I can understand the Fear that you will always struggle with school, with being a student but I think that is irrational. You and your brain are constantly changing and adapting, if you want something bad enough there are always steps you can take to get it.I struggle daily to do my school work, I coasted through school until my perfectionism crippled me and now I struggle to sit down for 30 minutes and focus on a paper...but slowly Im finding it a bit easier and I would expect the same thing to happen with you.What are your other ""problems"" in life that you feel doom you to a life of failure?', 'Hmm Im not a psychiatrist of a psychologist so Id definitely talk to your doctor.How does the drug effect you?I know you dont know Fear but you dont feel comfortable or confident?', 'Why dont you feel comfortable divulging everything to your therapist?Are you on medication?Has your therapist talked about exposure therapy for dealing with Anxiety?', 'That is extremely weird...Have you called Blue Cross Blue Shield?', 'Discharged by the doctor or ROTC?Either way, Im glad you finally got help and I hope you pull things together and get happy', 'So why are you alone?', 'Have you talked to the credit card company about a payment plan of some sort?', 'Fascinating article, thanks for bringing it to my attention', 'Ouch, a 10 year slump is unavoidably depressing :(', 'So, what makes you feel Depression?Anything in particular?', 'You probably know what you need to do, you need to recognize that your Fear is irrational and make an appointment with a professional.They wont laugh, they wont mock you...they went into these professions because they care about people. Because they want to help out people like yourself.So sit down and make an appointment, so that you can get a handle on this and get back to life', 'Well, you cant erase yourself from existence with hurting those around you...Youve mention being diagnosed with mental issues in the past, have you seen a psychiatrist lately?Depression can have different effects on different people and if it has been a while since you were last Depression, it could just be effecting you differently now.', 'This should cheer you up...you are wrong :PLets start with net neutrality, the beautiful thing about it is that it is virtually controllable and with the advances in technology being made on a daily basis, the cost for the internet is going to keep dropping as time goes on.The economy isnt going to crash, it wont soar and it will be a long recession but that simply means that things will continue more or less like they are right now which sucks, but isnt exactly the Great Depression eitherAs to how to say optimistic, you have to focus on things within your control, the people you associate with, the things you do on a daily basis etc..So if you feel the world is going to the shitter, why dont you volunteer somewhere?Help people? Do something productive?', 'But none of those make you worthless...they are things you obviously want to change and they *can* be changed if you want them too..You just need to develop a satisfying routine that will help you become happy, maybe decide to take a daily walk, decide to read a new book every Asthenia, learn a skill etc...You obviously feel a desperate need to change, so why not try to start small and build on a success?', 'Try to stick with AA, get away from drinking and try to change your life.Think about seeing a therapist again, I know you said it can confuse you but I dont see how it can Pain much.The problem with thinking like that is that you never know how things might turn out, maybe you would have gotten married to your dream girl and then cheated on her, losing an entire family.Maybe you would have gotten hit by a bus...life is too hard to predict', 'Yea your options are limited considering the situation.Just keep trying to distract her, hopefully she will go to sleep.And for the record, you are doing a great thing for someone who is essentially a stranger, so high five!', 'Well man, I have to give you some credit for knowing how to celebrate Thanksgiving :PSince you asked for direction, here are my thoughts. You need to talk to your doctor and see if you should add an antidepressant or increase your dosage. (Do you remember your other medications, if you have had any others?)What does your outpatient therapy entail?(Im really glad you failed last night)', 'Sounds like Depression...so the relevant questions would be, have you seen a doctor about it?Medication?Seen a psychiatrist? Gone to therapy?How is your financial situation? Can you afford those things?Do you have anything that specifically that depresses you?', 'Well try to arrange a regular schedule or routine with a counselor, if it works, keep doing it.And try not to forget appointments', 'In addition to the meds have you been talking with a psychologist?', 'Fair enough, although I am still pretty curious.I think the answer to your question is that society hates admitting anyone is beyond help, we are incredibly ambitious and want to believe we can fix or solve anything.We dont like admitting that the love of our life is not going to get better, that our mother is beyond help etc...', 'Is there any reason they are kicking you out? Are they struggling financially or do they just think you are being a bum?You dont have to crash for long, just try and think if you have anyone you can stay with for a Asthenia at a time or something...crash on their couch, help around the house etc.. until you can get on your Oedema of extremity', 'The best thing you can do is make an appointment with a psychiatrist or a psychologist...I know it will be tough to do but it is for the best.', 'Accepting that you need help is a huge step and now you need to figure out how to do that.Do you have health insurance?Can you afford to visit a doctor and try medication and then visit a therapist?', 'Get over that, needing medication doesnt make you a nutjob.You dont need to be ashamed of being Depression and it is Tired common, so you dont need to feel alone either.You say no matter what you try it is a lost cause, but that isnt true at all. There are plenty of options left open for you, things you can try that will likely work!', 'Have you ever talked to someone about your past, it sounds like it might help for you to sit down and just unload everything you have been carrying around on your shoulders.', 'Here is what I would try with your therapist, write something down ahead of time.You arent being idiotic or illogical and even if you are, so what? Everyone has a few of those",Ideation
user-114,"['Wow, youve been through a really shitty ride. I cant even begin to imagine how you feel after having your ex get your hopes up like that, only to be crushed again and reaching rock-bottom. Nor can I imagine what its like to carry around the ghosts of the awful things that were done to you when you were a child. It also seems like you were terribly let down by psychiatric treatment. You really tried to get help, but it didnt work. Its never like the Zoloft ads in real life :( I wonder, since youre already committed to ending it, whether you wouldnt try just one more experiment before you do? If the experiment fails, you can end it all the same - nothing changes. But if it works, then you just might find happiness. The experiment Im talking about is looking at what best, tailored plan, might be able to help you to feel the way you deserve to - not miserable. Just one last shot to see if maybe, just maybe, the right people might be able to pull you out of this godawful pit. ', 'Im so Tired glad. And feel free to reply or PM for whatever reason. ', 'Im so glad you did that. Be kind to yourself and try not to worry too much about what to say. I hope you mentioned in the text how urgent it is. And I truly hope it goes okay and that everyone is understanding. Youre hurting in more ways than one and just need (and deserve) love right now. ', 'Strange coincidence, Im just busy listening to It Never Ends by Bring Me the Horizon. Im not sure whether it stops or goes away, but I suspect it might change, and that we might have an influence over how to change it. But its so damned difficult, right? ', 'Ugh, I know the roller-coaster all too well. I guess thats why people like us need each other; Im going through an OK phase now, so I can reach out and try help you in your not-OK patch. I think its a battle that people who have never been Depression just cant understand. But youre strong for having made it through, and I really hope you keep fighting so hard. Were here for you, whether it to be try talk you down when it gets really bad, or just to talk shit to try and distract from the darkness of it all. Youre welcome to PM me for other ways to get hold of me, but either way - stay strong, and stay alive for *you*, not for anyone else. ', 'I can almost physically feel the Pain in your writing. I dont know you, but I want you to know that youre worthwhile, that you deserve to be here, and (even though you dont know it), you make the world a better place by being here. As you read that, I know you dont believe it. Hell, youd feel really guilty even if you tried to believe it. But its true. It really is true. ', 'That sounds like a really dark place. Im truly sorry that you have to experience this every day - meanwhile everyone else can just go on with their lives and be happy (how is it that other people manage to seem so happy, anyway? I often wonder). Have you been through any treatments before? ', 'Were a caring community willing to help, but Emotional upset blackmail isnt a constructive approach. ', 'Shit, thats a really dark hole youve found yourself in. I can see how it seems like theres really no other way out. Can you think of anything at all that would make your situation even just a little bit better? ', 'Take a deep, deep breath. Hold it. Then breathe out. ^ Repeat. Sounds like youre having an acute Anxiety attack. Is there anyone around you you trust you can go to right now? ', 'Its difficult to know whats normal when one only has their one frame of reference. It took me a long time to realise that frequent thoughts of suicide are *not* normal. I used to think that everyone had them when they felt down - they dont. As to how you go about explaining it.. You already have! Just repeat what youve said here and theyll expand on the rest. ', 'You poured your heart out and no-one even replied! I bet that didnt feel good. It seems like a really shit situation there. Are you still dependent on your parents? ', 'Welcome to the rollercoaster.. When I get better I often forget how bad the bad days were, and it totally hits me by surprise when Im back there. Its completely natural to be distrusting of people when you have these symptoms. I wonder whether, with a bit of thought, youd be able to take the leap and *try* see if shes able to help? Otherwise, have you perhaps searched for mental health resources in your area? There may be non-profit organisations with information and/or services relevant to your situation. The most important thing, though, is to remember that this is something thats affecting you, but its not who you are - its not a character flaw - and its something that can get better. ', 'Youve been mistreated horribly in a way that you (or anyone for that matter) definitely do not deserve. Its not an indication that youre not worthy of love, nor is it an indication that you will not find love if it doesnt already exist for you. But I bet it feels pretty helpless right now? ', 'Im not from the US so Im not sure how things work there, but do you have some sort of guidance or school counsellor/therapist type of person there? What you might also want to consider is confiding about this to a teacher that you trust, if there is one - and they might be able to point you in the right direction. But, again - this might be a (Tired common) mental disorder that you are experiencing, that responds well to the correct, empathic treatment. Your school will not be unfamiliar with it in general, either (mental Illness is the big secret that no-one talks about, but is all too common) ', 'The day is a cruel and blatant, in-your-face reminder to anyone who doesnt have someone of just precisely how alone they are? I get that. But Im also wondering whether there are other options around this. ', 'The thought of getting caught out when self-harming is a really scary one, but I think we need to look at priorities here quickly. Id like you to rank the priorities of these different things: Staying alive (not getting an infected wound) Keeping your Emotional upset Pain a secret Avoiding embarrassment. I dont know about you, but I might go with the first one. Please get medical attention now. The medical staff will most likely be Tired understanding - theyre familiar with the Pain of mental Illness and know that its not your fault. Also, because it really is similar to any physical disease, theres no reason that your school career should be at all affected by knowledge of it. In fact, youre protected legally (and have a right to confidentiality). And, most likely (Im not sure of your state), you can only be admitted to a mental hospital with your permission - not that inpatient treatment is a bad thing. (Sometimes, and I can attest to this, its actually Tired constructive in the long term). TL;DR: PLEASE GET MEDICAL ATTENTION! ', 'Depression is a horrible thing. It makes you feel guilty for just posting on a public forum, as if youre taking up space or time that you dont deserve! Im really glad that you shared all this, because you clearly needed to. Youve gone through a really big life transition - one thats stressful for most people, let alone those that might be suffering from Depression! And it seems that youre in a really bad spot at the moment. Obviously, I cant give direct advice, but I wonder if there is student support/counselling services at your university? What youre describing, particularly among first years, is actually Tired common (just no-one talks about it openly). Furthermore, the issues you describe are normally treatable with the proper interventions. Youre not pathetic or worthless. Thats the Depression talking. ', 'Forgive me if I misunderstood. You posted saying that if no-one was with you on Valentines, youd kill yourself. In one light, thats compelling people to act on a wish to prevent harm (to yourself). But its also a Tired narrowly-defined criterion, rather than a general plea for help with whats presumably a bigger issue at play. We want to understand, and we want to help. ', 'Im curious about the significance of Valentines day, and why its the deciding factor for you? ', 'Im lost for words by how tragic that story is. But please dont go. Please dont go - so you can tell me, and others, the story of how wonderful your girlfriend and your friends were. Please dont go, because this incredible, indescribable Pain that youre feeling will begin to heal with time. Please dont go, because you can add value to the world - especially to the lives of people who, like you, have been through so much Pain. Youre busy going through the worst of it. The Agony is raw, youre still Bleeding out on the floor, reeling from the loss. Please let people comfort you. Give it a few weeks, then you can make a more informed choice. Theres nothing to lose in waiting, right? ', 'Ok, so we have some data on the experiment: Moving away doesnt help. That hypothesis is disproved. Thats progress. I wonder if there is *anything* else you can think of to try see if it will make a difference? I can see in the way that you write, and that youve written so much, that you dont *really* want to have to go through with this, but there seems like no other option. Its also worth keeping in mind that, being Depression, you probably arent really seeing things Tired clearly right now. I say also this because Ive struggled with Depression for quite some time and know how different the same situations can seem when Im Depression vs when Im not Depression. So I guess the second part of my question is: Can you maybe think of a way that a non-Depression version of yourself might look at this situation, from a problem-solving point of view? ', 'Sometimes all one can do is be Captain Obvious :) But I hope you know my intention is to let you know that Im here to try help - but I also know that platitudes or empty words arent any help at all. ', 'See, thats not helpful for anyone involved here. The fact that people are reading what youre writing and replying is evidence that theyre wanting to help. And, for what its worth, I really dont want you to die. Nor do I want you to feel lonely on Valentines (or any other day, for that matter). ', '> I dont want to have to go to a mental health hospital or something, I dont want any of that, it would absolutely ruin my school career.Just to address what seems to be your main concern again: >I dont want to have to go to a mental health hospital or something, I dont want any of that, it would absolutely ruin my school career.You most likely cannot be held against your will at a mental hospital (and even if so, it would be perhaps for a few days), secondly: your school, legally, will not need to know this information, and is not allowed to make any decisions based on it even if they do find out. I know it might seem that people might be angry or ashamed or disappointed in you, but in reality, they just want whats best for you. And right now that means getting good care. Firstly, good medical care (because this is urgent!) and then YOU can decide what to do with your mental health from there. All these decisions are yours. ', 'Thats a lot of medication and therapy; it must be even more frustrating seeing as it doesnt seem to be working. Im curious, seeing as youre 18 (I had the impression that you were much older!), what specifically havent you succeeded at? And, more importantly, what would you like to succeed at? ', 'There are people out there who care, even when it doesnt seem like it :) Out of interest, what treatments have you been through, if any? ', 'Sure thing -  thats a great long-term goal. How about something smaller to start with? Maybe something you can do every day or two that might start building a sense of accomplishment? Keep in mind youre dealing with a *debilitating* Illness right now, so youll need some patience and (even though it maybe wont be possible at first) to be kind to yourself. ', 'Out of interest, how long were you in therapy and on medication? It saddens me so that there arent better treatments out there. ', 'Perhaps curious wasnt the most accurate word. Im interested in why one corporate day would decide your fate, thats all. What will have changed on the 15th if you do spend it with someone - especially if it is a fake date? ', 'Necessary disclaimer: this is not a diagnosis People with symptoms similar to yours often have a real, recognised mental disorder that deserves as much sympathy, care, and good treatment as any other Illness. (And it also deserves no stigma or shame). Not functioning properly is even a key diagnostic criterion for serious mental disorder. IF it were the case that you had this (again, no diagnosis here), your school is obligated to give you proper medical allowance so you are able to get better. No-one should have to suffer through this alone. ', 'That sounds like a really, really, shitty place to be in right now. ', 'Youre really hurting right now, and Im sad to hear it. No-one should have to endure that much Pain - from chronic Illness or mental anguish (let alone both at the same time). Youve made some Tired specific claims there. What evidence is there that your SO would be better off with someone else? Has he given any indication of this? ']",Indicator
user-115,"['Heh. I guess I meant that:>When life seems too difficult, comedy is the way out. Its a cheat code really. You just dont get bothered by the Feeling unhappy you feel. You would think that it is too difficult to snap out of the Suicidal Feeling unhappy and become happy, but in retrospect it isnt that difficult (somewhat counter-intuitively).Heres a somewhat random one that I dug out from youtube.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL8HP1WzbDkAll of Carlin is amazing! You can if you want pm me and tell me what led to your breakdown this time. Or at least figure out your triggers. Discuss them with the people you trust. I guess the friend who practices something as intimate as cutting would be a great place to start with.You can always contact me for advice. There is a 5 hour time-gap and I am not on the internet all the time, so my answers might be delayed and dont lose heart because of that. I am still evloving my views and learning so I cannot guarantee that I would be correct, but I promise empathy.', '> ""there is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn""Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus', 'At least :)']",Indicator
user-116,"['I didnt... I always feel as though Im a failure when I dont do it when I say Im going to do. It just scares me.', 'Please know that youre not alone! I feel like this so often it feels like itll never go away, as though Im permanently stuck with it. I dont know where the end is, for you or for me. But what I know--or atleast strongly believe-- is that suicide isnt the end for either of us or for anyone. You are strong and beautiful and important. Life deals really shitty Weakness of hand sometimes. The best people are torn down by their own thoughts. I wish so badly I could be there with you to tell you its okay, because I feel we are so similar from your post. Things feel hopeless right now, like theres no light at the end of the tunnel. But there is. I mean, there HAS to be. People like us cant go through really hard times for nothing. Please hold on.You are meant for amazing things. Im sorry things are so rough right now. It hurts my heart that great people like you have to feel like this. Please, if you ever need to talk about anything, feel free to message me.', 'I am sorry youre going through this. Your friends boyfriend doesnt seem to be the best person if hes forcing her to cut ties with her friends or he wont be with her. That seems really manipulative. Have you tried talking to her about it? I would hate for you to lose a friend like that...I understand the kind of release cutting can do for a person; whenever I cut I always feel really overwhelmed right before but the Pain and sight of blood is cathartic. But only for a moment because then I realize what Ive done. I realize that the wound will take weeks/months to heal and after that, therell be a nasty scar that Ill have to worry about hiding. You are entitled to feel how youre feeling; its an extremely stressful situation. However, you said you stopped cutting because you believed there was more to life. Hold on to that. Ive read that when you feel the urge to cut, if you draw on your skin with markers it produces a calming affect. For those who need Pain to ground themselves, drawing on themselves with pens work a little bit better.You said that youve been happy for awhile and that youve made great friends. Perhaps reaching out to them during this time of Feeling unhappy would be beneficial. ', 'How long should I postpone it for? Its just really difficult to follow through.', 'You sound like a therapist, haha. In a good way though; not the domineering, I-know-more-than-you way. You articulate Tired well and your comment really impacted me. Seriously, thank you SO much. Im guessing you understand and relate to others fairly well, as you seemed to really get me after just reading my post. Thank you for mentioning my good qualities; its rare that strangers genuinely care for other humans (in my experience Ive always tried my hardest for others to feel appreciated so for me to get something like your message back is so nice).I think finding a person besides my parents to talk to will definitely help. My therapist now I only see for half an hour every two weeks, and that just isnt enough so Im in search for someone Ill see weekly. Its extremely hard for me to share my Suicidal thoughts with anybody; I view the Depression and ideations as a downfall, something to be embarrassed of (as my parents have never been big feeling sharers) so Im ashamed in admitting these feelings with friends or therapists. ', 'Hi, friend. Im sorry you feel this way; I know you must be hurting a lot right now, but please just breathe and think. You are beautifully made. Its hard to believe it; a lot of us struggle with it, so please know youre not alone. You are important and most definitely worthy of help. I think its really great of you to reach out and tell us about it.', 'I totally understand where youre coming from. I romanticize the thought of my suicide, thinking it would be so much better for everyone else if I were gone. If only I were decisive enough to actually follow through. But that wouldnt solve anything. People would miss me. People would miss YOU. Im sure you brighten so many lives every day without knowing. Youre a light that a lot of people love.But I dont think youre horrible. Youre a person going through a really rough patch. I think youre fully capable of being a GREAT mom and having a GREAT future. Its just pushing yourself through the bad days, and trust me, I know how tough the bad days are. Theyre numerous and fucking suck. Please know youre not alone. Have you tried talking to someone (relative or therapist)?', 'Im sorry you feel this way. Its not a great way to feel. Whenever I feel this way, I try to step out of my comfort zone by doing something different. Such as getting a tattoo (not always the smartest), or spoiling myself by buying something Ive been wanting, or reaching out (this is always really hard for me to do). Maybe for you to feel alive you could try something new. Maybe go for a run outside, or pick up a new hobby (painting is SUPER relaxing).', 'It blows my mind that a total stranger would be willing to write so much for someone like me, trying to help them. Coming from Tumblr--where next to no one cares if you post about killing yourself--to Reddit where there are so many resources and subs to make myself feel better is amazing. Thank you for your comment. Overcoming the Depression is going to take time. Thanks so much.', 'Thank you. Its nice to know that a total stranger believes I have worth. Its motivating and refreshing to think that I have plenty of chances to find happiness. Its just so often that the Depression has me in a slump where I dont feel like doing anything. But still, thank you so much for taking the time to encourage.', '""if you wanna bone down, demand they wrap their tool"" haha!It seriously blows my mind that you would write so much to a total stranger. Im new to Reddit and the people here are totally different than on any other social media. Thank you so much for encouraging me. Life is a really fucking tough journey and Im only 18; I cant imagine what itll be like when (if) I make it to 27. Youve surpassed a lot and I truly admire you. Id prefer to not be on any meds; herbs and natural remedies intrigue me and as I get a better hold on the Depression and Suicidal thoughts, I plan on stepping away from the pharmaceuticals. Your comment helped. While nothing really fixes my desire to not be around, its uplifting to know that a stranger took time out of their day to spare a kind word and share their story. Thank you so much.', 'I didnt... Thank you for your concern. I always feel like a failure when I dont follow through.', 'I cant imagine dealing with what youve been dealing with for ten years. Wow. That must be so hard, and Im sorry. But please dont feel like youre a bother by passing the weight. We all need help. Hell, I posted here a few nights ago believing it was my time. Theres nothing wrong with passing some of the weight off. We all need a break sometimes.Why do you feel this place isnt meant for you?', 'Thank you. Im trying hard to not kill myself. But thank you for taking the time to comment. Sometimes its just nice to know that others care.', 'Its just really hard to support myself like I support others. Its so much easier to find the good in others. Its just difficult; theres nothing really negative going on, Im just sad all the time, you know? Like every day weighs on me and makes it hard to see the light.And the rats are nice :) Im always afraid that when I kill myself theyll be given to someone who doesnt care about them as much as I do.', 'Thank you! If you dont mind me asking, what keeps you going?', 'My new therapist only sees me for 30 minutes every two weeks, so its Tired hard to download two weeks worth of emotions in only half an hour. My biggest issue is being Feeling nervous around people so its a struggle to call any new clinics in search of a better support system.', 'Alrighty, well if you want sincere opinions, I can give you that, but if you dont want sympathy, well too bad youre getting that too. If not knowing whether your friend killed himself or not is a source of stress, I cant imagine why you wouldnt go out of your way to find out the answer. If its a source of stress, I imagine youd want to do something about it (as you seem to be Tired answer-orientated, despite your claim to being lazy). Is there any other way to contact this person or his parents?I know you dont want sympathy, so Ill make this part short. I dont think any of this is your fault. Its okay to feel how you feel. Thats why youre posting here, for someone to notice the Pain youre going through. Just know youre not alone. I dont think you necessarily have a disorder. I think were (as Im 18) just at an age where were all really Emotional upset or really apathetic in life. Im too Emotional upset, I feel everything 150%. If you want to be happy, why dont you actively do something about it? You say society and people fuck it up--which to an extent, I believe as well-- but after a certain point, you have to say fuck that and take matters into your own Weakness of hand. Societys depressing, it truly is. People are shitty at times. But you cant control society or other people. But you can control yourself. You can control how you deal with situations and you can control if youre feeling lazy and unmotivated. If you want advice, I really feel that rewiring how you think will help. In psychology, CBT is a thing; its cognitive behavioral therapy and its based on the belief that if you change a patients thinking pattern and self talk, their behavior will change. Its so easy to give up, and if you have that mindset that nothing matters, then your actions are going to follow that. But if you wake up every morning and slowly change your thought process (""This sucks I dont want to do this"" to ""Yes this sucks, but if I complete this task it will better my chances of passing this course and graduating/make me feel better about myself"") youll start to see a difference.I dont know if any of this helped; hopefully it did but I tend to ramble.', 'Youre good enough. Youre strong. I feel so similar to you; I always try my hardest to make others feel better and know how important they are, yet it rarely feels like anybody tries to make ME feel better. You arent small. Sometimes the kindest, biggest hearts have the toughest struggle. Please know you arent alone. If you ever need a kind word, were all here for you.', 'Oh God, I am so sorry. I understand. Some people are really fucking rude. But please know not everybody is like that. There are some really great people, Im just sorry youre having to deal with the shitty ones. But just because of others shitty actions doesnt mean you should take the brunt of it. Fuck those guys. You deserve the world.']",Ideation
user-117,"['Im sorry that was the reason you had to move. Does your boyfriend know how youve been feeling?', 'Anytime! Pm me if you need anything else', 'Its awesome! Definitely worth buying a popcorn as well. Basically its giant robots fighting. Pretty cool huh?', 'Everythings solvable my friend. Dont give up on yourself because you feel like no one wants you. Do you have a friend you can talk to?', 'Thank God. Im glad to hear there is some justice in this world. Youre a smart women, and brave, most people wouldnt have the guts to do that. Im proud to call you a fellow human. Have you started talking to lawyers about getting sole custody? ', 'Hey man, whats up? :) Im here for you!', 'First of all stop blaming yourself. You were involved in your moms accident, however you are not at fault for it. Trust me Penguingoum. Secondly what do you mean you dont live the way people around you do?', 'Theyre coming out with new medication all the time. Youll find something that works faster and more efficiently. Its only a matter of time.', 'First of all, yes you should respect your parents and listen to them, so kudos to you for doing that, it shows a sign of a stand up guy; HOWEVER, this is a lot more serious than they think, Depression is a Tired real thing. To be honest I would advise you to go to the doctor with or without their permission. Just tell them ""I respect you and I understand that you dont want me to go, but I still feel the need to, so Im going"" If you feel comfortable with it, tell them about having Suicidal thoughts. Just make it short and to the point. Its worth the money you would have to pay. Secondly, listen bro (or broette) assuming your a bro here though..We all make mistakes, we all are stupid when were young, but the great thing is that we can always change. You can always make a future for yourself, sure itll take some hard work and dedication, I know you can do it though, you seem extremely determined :)', 'I wouldnt have been able to go to college and make new friends!', 'Hey whats up? It doesnt sound whiny to me, I absolutely know that feeling. I would love to talk with you more.', 'So whats stopping you from going out and being part of the world again? Do you just not feel the desire to?', 'While suicide may seem like a logical choice, it is never an intelligent move.', 'Well Ive gone through some horrible things in my life too, different things, but in some regards just as horrible. And its taken a while, but right now I am in a better place. I really dont believe that its bullshit, I just think thats how life works.', 'Why dont you go out and do something? Have you tried picking up a sport? Or maybe taking an online class? just because youre unemployed doesnt mean you cant be amazing. Sometimes once you start something, even if you have to force yourself to, you find the will to do it.', 'First off? Get in contact with her, no matter how you do it. Then talk to her, be honest, tell her that youre scared shes going to Pain herself and that you dont want that to happen. Secondly, go visit her. Will it cost money and be inconvenient? Yes. Will it show her that you love her enough to go out there? Definitely yes. Third, if she tries to commit suicide, or you think there is a extremely likely chance that she is going to commit suicide, you should call the police. She may be upset at you for doing this, but it could save her life. I would also advise talking to her parents, suicide is not something to be taken lightly.Also check out /rSWResources.Good luck, if you have any questions, dont hesitate to ask.', 'It sounds to me like a pretty normal relationship. Everyone has ups and downs, and everyone has baggage. As long as his supporting you, or in the Tired least trying to support you then his a positive influence in your life.', 'Have you seen Pacific Rim yet? Its quite good. :)', 'No dont worry about it! Im sorry that thing seem to be so eh. Is it possible for you to get a new book? That seems kindva silly of your parents to take away something that you use as a tool to make yourself less Stress out. What is your hardest final going to be?', 'Yes I can confirm SUICIDE IS DUMB. Trust me Im a living breathing human being. And Im thankful for each second Im alive.Edit: Additional sentence added.', 'How old are your kids?edit: spelling', 'First of all get a restraining order. I would also advise reporting the incident of rape to the police. To be honest the police probably will be unable to find evidence against him, but its worth a try. Also getting a restraining order from this freak will keep you and your child safe. I really hope you dont choose to abort him or her. Adoption is always a better option. Im here for you.', 'Before you try that, would you mind talking with me? I would love to know whats going on in your life right now.', 'Hey anytime man! Im here for you :)', 'Well whats bothering you the most?', 'Well first of all go to r/SWResources. Secondly you need to, need to talk to him about this NOW. Like literally right this minute. right now. Preferably in person. You never know where someone is emotionally or mentally. Showing you care could save his life.', 'I know that feel :/  How long ago did you guys break up?', 'How about you just put the gun down and go to sleep? Tomorrow is a completely new day.', 'Im sorry you feel this way :( I can talk with you for a while if you would like :)', 'I understand where youre coming from, and its not easy. Have the suggest alternative methods to handle your Depression?', 'High school can be really confusing sometimes :/ I would encourage you to talk to your teachers. More likely than not, they will tell you what they expect when it comes to finals. I also would encourage you to work out. Working out has been shown to have a lot of positive mental effects. You said you hide your feelings, do you have someone to talk to about them, besides writing them down?', 'Agreed. To be honest a lot of people who say theyre going to kill themselves if you break up with them, are obviously trying to manipulate you. ', 'Wow yeah that is a sticky situation youre in, especially because you dont know where she lives. If you find out where she lives and you really think she is a about to commit suicide, then dial 911, if the operator picks up for your area (which will happen) then ask them and explain your situation. They probably can connect you to the right station up in Canada. (Canada emergency phone number is 911 just like us) When you get in contact with I would encourage you to find out where she lives, maybe ask her if you can send her a care package. (that way you have her address.) In regards to actually talking to her, Im glad you said youre always honest, just try to be positive AND realistic. Stress to her how important she is to you.', 'I can only imagine what that must be like. Have your family and friends tried to talk to you? What do you do in your free time? I hope youve talked to a doctor, if not its extremely important that you do.', 'Well modern medicine is amazing, who knows what the next ten years will bring? I personally am glad for each breath I take, and I believe your child would feel the same. I understand where youre coming from when you mentioned pro-choice, and youre right in the end it is completely up to you. I can only imagine how mentally distraught you must be. I dont know how you feel, because I have never been in your situation.', 'Woah hold up..why are you not allowed to go to the doctor? If you think you have Depression, then you should DEFINITELY go. What do you mean exactly when you say a failure in everything? ', 'Youll be in my prayers, I really hope things get better. If you need someone talk Im here for you :)', 'I wish you the best of luck! :)', 'Youre gonna get there.. just be patient. I know that may not be what you wanna hear, that you should wait, but sometimes thats what we have to and should do.', 'First off the biggest thing you need to do is to talk to him about this, confront him and have an honest one on one, or family on one talk. Secondly you should convince him to seek professional help, it will help him in the long run. You should talk to him ASAP. If he tries to commit suicide, or you think he is literally about to you should call 911. Also check out our  subreddit, /r/SWResources. Good luck mate, bless ya.', 'Maybe his just ""seeing girls"" to get over you? You shouldnt feel inadequate though. If he broke up with you then its his loss! You seem like a great gal, it sucks that someone would be stupid enough to break up with you. Listen it doesnt matter how pretty or intelligent or mature, or perfect someone is, if someone gets in a relationship, then they run the risk of having their heart broken. Its part of what makes having one so exciting. I know that it must feel horrible to see him seeing other girls already, like I said though, most likely he could be using those girls as a rebound because he wants to get you off his mind. Just take the highroad, dont be discouraged by a single failure. Theyre so many people looking for a good relationship, youre going to find the right person :)', 'Im here, wanna talk? :)', 'Hey Penguingoum! Im here for you and Ill try my best to help you. :) I know you dont want to hear this, but you NEED to get professional help. Having Suicidal thoughts is not something you can just ignore, you need to deal with it, its important for your safety. Do any of your friends know?', 'While losing you job is a set back, dont you think its worth it in order to get yourself back under control?', 'Well first of all, you need to talk to your doctor ASAP. Even if you have physically go to him. Please dont give up, just because of some confusion.  Yes the medicine may take a while to kick in, but its worth waiting for, trust me. Lifes far too amazing and full of surprises to quit. :)', 'Hey man, Im here too!', 'Well Im here for you, if you wanna talk :) Ill be honest it sounds like youre life is hard, no denying it. But youre legitly trying to prove yourself, thats alot more than most people in your position can say. Kudos to you man, your a fucking champion.', 'Stay Awesome man :)', 'Im really sorry to hear that. How long ago did that happen?', 'Hey whats up mate? Wanna Chill with me for a while? Im here for ya :)', 'Im sorry life feels so meaningless. It may sound silly but trust me that there is more to life then what you are living right now. You have to find what makes you happy, what fulfills you. You went on a date with a girl and she seemed nice? Fuck man! Chase after her! Show her you care, whats the worst that could happen? Do you exercise at all? If you dont run, ride a bicycle to work, start taking a martial arts!! I am not a licensed doctor, but I honestly believe that by become active and venturing out of this hole of Depression youre in, you will find happiness. Life is what you make of it man, I learn that everyday over and over again. Tomorrow I am required to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I could sit at home and play halo all day. Fuck that man. Im getting up at 9:30 Im gonna go work out at the gym, after that Im going to volunteer for a few hours and help some people out, then Im gonna take one of my friends, and show him literally the greatest boot repair shop in the world. So yeah I could do nothing with my life tomorrow, but I choose to do something, its what keeps me alive and it keeps my blood flowing. Thats what you gotta do. Does applying for job thats probably gonna be boring absolutely suck? Yeah it does. But itll get you money, which you can save up, and maybe go travel to somewhere awesome. Listen man this world is so much bigger and more important than for you to be caught up in a drunken weed filled stupor of despair! I really believe in you. You have the potential to not live your life in a never ending circle, and to make something of yourself.TLDR: Plain and simple the point of life is to make something out of yourself and prove to the world who you are.', 'Ah I totally gotch you. Im in college and just had my first English final, those things can be pains. :/ So if you dont have a job what do you do in your free time? At lot of times exercise can improve someones move drastically!', 'Have you tried cycling? Go on to craigslist.com, you can find a decent bike for around 150 dollars. Not only does it give you exercise, but you can also go further then you could by walking. Why did you move to the suburbs, if you dont mind me asking?Edit: Punctuation', 'Wow thats some deep thoughts my friend. If you dont mind my asking what made you think life is torture?', 'Well if you can see that your boyfriend has no positive benefit, then why is he in your life? By the way I think its a good idea to let your boyfriend know about what youre dealing with, maybe he can pay for you to have a therapist?', 'Im here too man.', 'Sitting here arguing and begging you wont achieve anything. I urge you however to reconsider what you are thinking about doing. I and all the people here care about you. In the end none of us can stop you, I do know for a fact that while this life may seem horrible at times, killing yourself to run away from your problems is never the right option.', 'Im sorry about the delay. I totally know what you mean. I found that the more relationships that Im in the harder it is to connect with people. :/', 'Hey wanna talk with me for a while? Im here for you :)', 'Hey man wanna talk? Im here for you :)', 'Heres on reason why: Everyone has something to live for, whether its simply just to smile at someone else and make their day, or give a homeless man money. Live not for yourself my friend, but keeping living for the others that you can help. If you wanna talk Im here. Or if you need more reasons. :)', 'Not at all. Sleep well my friend :)', 'To be honest having and feeling Pain in life comes with having joy and happiness in life. I wont lie, I do agree with you, some Pain never goes away COMPLETELY, one of my best friends died when he was 9 and I was 13, I still think about it today, and it still hurts, but not as much as it did 5 years ago. The reason why I keep going on is because I believe that life is worth living simply because you never know whats going to happen tomorrow. I keep living for the Excitement that tomorrow I might meet my soul mate, tomorrow I might make save someones life, tomorrow I might get a raise, tomorrow I might win a trip to Hawaii, tomorrow I might get a bunch of karma on Reddit. So thats why I keep living because while life has ups and downs, seeing which comes next, keeps me on my toes. In regard to your final comment I believe that we dont want those who have Emotional upset Pain to end their life, is because we all have Emotional upset Pain, and we realize that you can overcome it, if you have hope and patience.', 'Dude losing 40 pounds is an amazing achievement. It takes hard work and a strong work ethic to do. You cant just go out there and lose 40 pounds. You should be seriously proud of yourself. ', 'Hey Im here to talk with you Cool Koala 53 :) If youre having Suicidal thoughts, you need to visit a doctor and get professional help as soon as possible. I can talk to you and sort some things out, but I am in no way a professional. So whats going on exactly that has you so down?', 'No worries mate! Anytime you need to hear it just post here and someone, will remind you. :)', 'Hey whats up man?If you need someone to talk to Im here', 'Well Im here to talk if you would like. Whats up?', 'Wow that must be hard :/ For me the two Asthenia mark is where things usually started to get easier for me. (But Im a guy so it may be different) I would encourage you to try to keep yourself occupied. The busier you are, the less time you have to think about him. ']",Ideation
user-118,"['You are so young. Believe me there are assholes at every level of life. When your young you deal with them at school. As adult at work. You need to see that you are what you are and just go with it. Perhaps a support group in your area would help you. Killing yourself only causes others in your life Feeling unhappy and heartache. ', 'Firstly you should focus on the most important thing in your life...you! Do not try to get the attention of others. You are so young and new to life and there is so much out there for you. Life is made up of both good and bad experiences. Everyone has good and bad in thier lives. No one has a perfect life. You have to have good and bad so that as you mature you will be able to deal with the things you may come against in life both good and bad. You are important and deserve to see what life is all about. Dont let the actions of others make you feel otherwise. Talk to your parents or family member or even a councelor at your school. Someone will help you. You just need to reach out. ', 'Wow. I think that your feelings about being gay is the problem. I am gay and have been with my partner (actual my legal spouse) for 23 years. We married in 2004. I have never had an issues with others acting out towards other than in 1994 when things were different. It is tough to accept the fact of your sexual orientation once you know for sure. I hope you can find some peace and comfort with who you are as a person. Being gay is not just about sex. It is about love as well and we all need that. ']",Indicator
user-119,['Youre gonna have to get a new therapist. You can try talking to people on #bus: http://buslist.org/chat.html a lot of them have been where you are.'],Supportive
user-120,"['I have to be honest with you, you WANT that to happen and maybe we romanticize death the be that way, ""Oh he wouldnt want us to grieve."" But they will. They will lose jobs, end relationships, cry themselves to sleep, drop out of school, develop insecurities, ask themselves why again and again six years later at 3 o clock in the morning, their lives will be irrevocably and permanently scarred by the ugly fact that what happened DID effect them in an terrible and unfair way. If you find yourself unsure if you can do it for you, PM me and Ill tell you all the reasons you can do it for them. Seriously. It will ruin their lives forever.', 'Hey, Depression and Suicidal thoughts are not correlated with how great your life is going. There is no shame in mental illness, regardless of how many ""wins"" you can rack up.  Its okay to be sick.  When my boyfriend committed suicide a lot of people said things like, ""But he had a good family"" and ""He had you! What kind of guy would give that away?"" It just doesnt work like that.  Of course, acute situations can push someone to committing suicide and that is what I would worry about.Im not sure what your financial situation is, but seeing a professional is the best thing I can recommend. Not just once, but consistently.  Youre not alone. People feel like this all the time. Its not to minimize how much Pain your in, but to empower you to know that there are people who recover, people who grab ahold of all the things you wish you could feel.  It sounds like self-esteem plays a big role in how you feel: calling yourself a pussy, not feeling comfortable around women, etc.  I can assure you that being in a relationship isnt the key to getting over it (and people who say to ""get over it"" should be kicked in the shins!)  Anyways, I read this. I see it. Im thinking about you. There is someone out in this great, big world who cares about you and wants the best for you, okay?']",Indicator
user-121,"['No more ideas?', 'I dont agree with live for others kind of advice.  I think you should live for yourself and your friends and family.  The world isnt going to be fixed any time soon, so stop thinking its all on your shoulders.', 'Regular exercise and a lack of excessive Stress is important to a good life.  So is a decent job.Work is now stressful, yes.  Its never done.Im on a long break now.  Its Tired hot and humid where I now live so I cant really do anything.  I cant handle the heat well.  I want to prepare for my death before I go back to work.', 'Its not only that.  The career enabled me to live a certain lifestyle and live in a certain place and not have to worry too much about money and other things.', 'Why would you like that?', 'I dont think there are any other kinds of job I could do in this country.', 'It has been 5 years since I lost my job.  I have tried my best.The things I lost in my life, I believe them to be extremely fundamental and important things.  I also lost a life that had little worry and Stress.  Now I have a job that gets worse every day, doesnt allow me time to exercise, is in a boiling hot city that saps me of energy, has horrible bitchy colleagues, and so on.  This is the norm, I have come to realize.', 'I really liked living in this country, and kind of still like it.Other jobs will be like this or worse.  We live in a world of shitty jobs.I had one of the best jobs in the world and threw it away.  I cant tolerate any job that isnt as good, which is to say, all of the rest of them.I can move to a different job (in the same industry) and city in time, a less hot and humid place, but it wont be as good as the climate in the city where I was, and even then Ill still have lost years of my life.', 'People dont understand suicide and arent going to understand your suicide attempt; it will just be looked upon as mental Asthenia or a moment of madness, or some kind of childish gesture.You arent going to make people understand.  They dont even understand actual suicides and cant imagine why anyone would want to kill themselves.  I guess this lack of understanding could be a survival mechanism.  Only Suicidal people are likely to understand.', 'Its not going to be fixed.  The world is fucked.  There are ~7bn people fucking up the planet with our mere presence.  Forget about it and just enjoy your life.']",Ideation
user-122,"['It started about two years ago. I dont feel like typing out the whole story but my love interest repeatedly made unbelievably stupid mistakes and i was isolated out of Feeling unhappy which led to me answering questions with the help of the internet and finding various intellectual people to listen to. I want to meet a single person in real life that doesnt make me want to compare him to the global wildlife. I know that it would make me feel much better. Of course these people exist. I have no idea how rare they are. ""At the same time, shes open minded, has a big heart, appreciates life and doesnt need an intellectual joke to laugh. Thats also really important stuff to learn."" What in the world does having a big heart entail? Appreciates life? That depends on her situation. It has next to nothing to do with the person herself. If shes fine with laughing at the same canned, witless jokes every single day, Im not interested. Every single person on this planet should have an open mind. You have not convinced me that i am looking at the ""wrong"" things.I am willing to talk about anything that i can think of out of the top of my head. I am not willing to have the same discussion every single day. ', 'I am typing this with a somewhat severe headache.Ignorance is indeed bliss. Everything that we do is a waste of time. Youre not being rational about some things though. What any other animal does on this planet is just as insignificant as the things that we do. This planet is just as significant as a grain of sand on a massive beach. You shouldnt be so concerned about the fact that we are ruining it. Its unimportant.  We are just as intelligent as the cavemen that discovered fire. We are educated animals and that is why we dont live in a healthy utopia, building homes on other planets. Out of curiosity, How young are you?You call our society ""wrong"". Well, What is right? How do you want our society to function? What exactly is it that you wish to change? ""The way we interact with one another"". What exactly is wrong with common human interaction?What is a ""true"" sense of happiness? Emotions are a result of chemical reactions. There exists only one form of happiness as we know it. You raise many questions and some of them are quite nonsensical. You appear to be intelligent but confused. You wanted to think for yourself and i personally like that. Im not sure where to go from here. I would need more context in order to say more. I can relate to you and thus i feel as if i want to give you a semblance of some sort of aid. I would personally prefer to have never been born, I cant give you any advice when it comes to extortion of Suicidal thoughts but it seems as if you are as aforementioned, confused, and i would relish a chance to bring some matters into light. ', 'I am typing this with a somewhat severe headache. Im not sad, Nor am i glad. I dont care about anything. Ultimately, Everything is pointless. We live on a grain of sand in the middle of an enormous beach. I would prefer to have never been born and yet i dont really want to kill myself. At this point in my life, I could have had been surrounded by friends. I could have had a girlfriend. I am attractive and intelligent. I value rational thought and the ability to question everything. And so what am i doing here, Scrolling up and down this subreddit?Before i go on ill go ahead and tell you that i am currently 14, Close to 15 years old though im hoping that your response will be insightful as opposed to the usual ""Youre a teenager and you have teenage problems. Talk to someone who gets paid to listen to you and your problems will go away, If they dont, Take meds.""So why have i not surrounded myself with friends? Well, Its because i am not blissfully ignorant. These people, They talk about the same things every single day. They crack the same jokes every time they see fit. To cut it short, I feel as if they are proof against the concept of free will because they dont appear to have a mind of their own. They are easily affected by commercials, They are easily manipulated. And to think that i used to be just like that.Obviously, I shouldnt befriend people who i dont like. I shouldnt enter a relationship with a moron just because shes ""cute"". The problem is that its Tired difficult for me to find another person with a similiar mindset. I want to meet someone who can think of something that i have not already thought about. Someone who can say something that makes me want to call this person a genius. My life appears to be hopeless. I have skipped countless days of school. Sure, I could work towards high degrees but i fail to see a reason when i have lost interest in life in general. I highly doubt that ill ever find another person to care about. I have been staring aimlessly around my room for a while now and my head is pounding. Im not sure where to go from here. My only real way of entertainment is gaming and even that is limited due to shitty economy. I spend my days on the internet, Watching youtube videos, Listening to podcasts, Reading webcomics, Being on reddit. I really dont understand why i so rarely break out in tears. Ill stop typing now. Perhaps ill submit a post of my own. Im not expecting anything. Is there a remedy for my apathy?', 'Sharing a piece of my mind doesnt solve any problems.Nothing can solve this problem, Really. I am helpless. ', 'I may sound a bit offensive, I dont know, Im not actively trying to be a dick.Most of what you have said comes of to me as a load of feel-good jargon and i was expecting to hear that. I was expecting someone to say something along the lines of ""Hey, Youre right,  But just ignore the massive load of shit that is your life and just work hard and your life wont suck anymore."" Its extremely common.Im not stubborn at all. My mind is open. I look at facts. I know the difference between subjectivity and objectivity. I dont have any unsubstantiated beliefs.Whether or not something is beautiful is entirely subjective. Nobody is born with the will to ride motorcycles. Thats a preposterous claim.Im not sure what to say. You are attempting to appeal to my emotions and while i appreciate the effort, It doesnt appeal to me. ', 'Never did i mention the apparent fact that i am depressed. I am not. I have come to understand the objective fact that my life metaphorically sucks dick and that the people in my social vicinity are in a manner of speaking, retarded. My stance is logical and its not a cause of Emotional upset confusion. I believe that my understanding of our species is quite large in fact. Perhaps i forgot to mention it but i am fully capable of socializing with these people. I just dont like them. Thats the problem. I am not interested in meditation, I might as well just go to a nearby church and accept jesus christ into my heart. I am not going to gobble pills in order to force myself into a positive state of emotion. Its not in any stretch of the imagination a viable solution.']",Ideation
user-123,"['Theres a test for depression? I just went to the doctor who sent me to a psychologist who just asked me a bunch of self evident questions and gave me meds. Didnt seem like much of a science.I dont understand the distinction between losing faith in myself and in life. I am life, from my perspective, and I have no faith in myself.', 'I do think Im strong relative to some but I dont think Im strong enough to do anything more than manage to survive in Pain. All of my strength goes to putting on a brave face and going to work every day or being around people and acting like Im ok. And constantly second guessing myself and regretting my mistakes. Every day is spent trying to learn to live all over again. Trying to figure out some way to make things better. My morbid obesity is my primary problem. I have weighed as much as 500 lbs. I lost a lot of it, to the point that I knew what it was like to have other people look at you and not see you as a monster. Now they look at me with disgust again and I dont like to leave my house Tired often. I am heading to the gym right now. I feel like every time I start to head in the right direction I fuck something else and lose my way again. Started going back to the gym about a month ago. Went 5 days in a row. Then I seized my engine on the way to work because of pure negligence and stoned malfeasance. Then I bought a new car that is totally not the right car for me to have. I have no idea what made me think I could own this car without destroying it. I bottomed out and busted the oil pan 5 days after having it. Ive broken 3 other minor things already and every day I feel my fat body and inability to be careful fucking it up and making it worth nothing. I want to sell it but I have to go to work. All I can think about while driving it is how much I hate myself and how much of an idiot I was to think I could own something nice and take care of it after having destroyed a car a Asthenia earlier and knowing how much I destroy everything I touch with my physics. I dont even fucking like cars. I just pretty much make awful choices whenever I get the chance. All I really care about is sex and the aforementioned hooker is my idea of perfection. I will never have someone like her for real. I will never be satisfied with what I have. I am getting a big bonus check in a few weeks. I want to spend the rest of my money and life with her.  At least Ill die satisfied. I feel like I am completely broken and it will never change. Even when I felt good about myself I knew someday the true fucked up me would prevail. And he did by deciding to support and co-depend a schizophrenic heroin addicted lunatic who helped bring me to levels of Pain and depravity that I never thought possible.  Why did I make this awful choice at a time that I somewhat believed in myself? Because sex was amazing and I could have it whenever i wanted. Except she was never there. Its been 5 years since then and I am pretty much in the same place I was at when I fled. I am too ashamed to meet new people and am Tired of having the same 5 conversations with the ones I know.  The salesmen at the audi dealership where I just bought my replacement oil pan are wondering why this disgusting, fat, unkempt dude is sitting in one of their cars in their lot for so long texting so Im going to go do some cocaine and go to the gym. Youd think I would have a heart attack but I am not going to be freed so easily from my Pain. ', 'I think that getting in shape is the most direct thing that I need to do if I have any hope to be ok. I try. I go to the gym irregularly and like to run on this specific machine that makes me not feel like I weigh 350 lbs. I like yoga, I like hiking, I like bicycling but I really cant do any of these things any more without being in too much Pain to do it consistently. And then theres the realization that losing weight is just like a heroin addict getting sober. Quitting the drug is only the start of the battle. Facing life afterwards is the really hard part. Ive gotten in (relative) shape before but just wound up back here because the reality is Im just fucking fundamentally broken. As for support groups... I just dont feel like talking is going to help me. Only action is going to help me and I dont even believe in that.', 'Maybe I do understand what you mean about losing faith in overall life... and I actually think that is the biggest problem.When I turned things around for myself in my 20s I got involved with a group of hippie anarchist primitivist types and felt like I was a part of something bigger than myself. The whole organic movement had yet to really become mainstream and I felt like there was magic and mystery behind the forces that were helping me change. That I knew something other people didnt and it was empowering.I dont believe in any of that any more, and dont believe in anything. It is really the only time in my whole life that I did.  Im not really sure theres anything actually worth believing in to tell you the truth.', 'I have gone to therapy and been on medication. Medication felt like it was helping a first but after about a year I realized the only thing that changed was that I had a lot of sexual problems (whose psychological effects have lingered since I stopped taking them)Therapy is more of that hard work that Im basically unwilling to do consistently.. the hardest part seeming to be finding a therapist worth a damn. Ive been to 3 and I basically feel like they dont understand me at all and just have a bunch of platitudes. I think therapy is helpful for people who dont understand what needs to be done to make them happy. I understand what I need but I am too lazy, stubborn and cynical to do it.', 'Im not lazy when it comes to work either, although my current job is not physical in nature but I work hard at it and am really good at it and it is basically all I have to live for. But it also totally conflicts with my values and worldview and all it does is empower me with more money to buy more shit that doesnt really make me happy.In the last two years Ive started to have physical problems that have made it harder and harder for me to get back in good physical health and I just cannot get enough momentum to be healthy again. It is too painful. Im in a huge amount of physical Pain every time I exercise but also feel so much guilt and shame and regret for how much hard work Ive squandered away and how I was once headed in the right direction and Ive fallen so far.When I first started losing weight when I was 25 I weighed 500 lbs. I think I was happier then than I am now because I didnt know what it was like to be accepted as a person walking around on the street. Society hated me and I hated society. At some point when losing weight things changed, people stopped averting their eyes from me on the street, I started to be able to meet girls and make friends on the street and in public. I started to want to become a part of the world, and realized that people by and large werent the stupid, hypocritical monsters that my young, disenfranchised self made them out to be.Now, people wont look at me again. People make jokes about me at work. I am ashamed of myself and dont like to leave the house.Knowing what it is like to be ""normal"" is the worst part. I wish I had just died of a heart attack by now like I was always expecting when I was young.', 'I didnt take it that you were implying I was lazy, just was clarifying. A hard day at my job is the only thing that makes me feel worthwhile right now, but the catch-22 about it is that it leaves me so mentally Exhaustion that I dont ever want to do the things that I need to make myself healthy, which is so much more important that the job I do.I honestly dont blame people for being revolted by me. Im revolted by me, why shouldnt they be? Its obviously some natural shit, because when I was less obese people did not act the same way. Ive had therapists tell me that it is all in my head, but it fucking isnt. I am Tired good at reading people and I know that things are different. Hell, I think I can pinpoint that for me somewhere between 300 and 340 lbs is where I become too monstrous to be considered human by the general populace.Id like to thank you for what youve had to say. No offense to anyone else who is try to help me, but I appreciate your lack of feelgood platitudes or attempts at suggestions. Just having someone say they understand means a lot.', 'Any suggestions for a support group?', 'Also, thank you for taking the time to write. Sorry all I can do is give a rebuttal. ', 'The past is the past. Yes, I had the courage and willpower to get out of that situation vs. the alternative but it has been 5 years and I have not been able to heal myself and just continue to get more reclusive, fatter, more Depression and less in touch with what I once was briefly able to see as the things that make life worthwhile.Eventually people reach a point where it is just too late for them to change and I feel like I am there.', 'I think leaving the job is probably what I most need to do, but Im terrified of it.For starters, any other job I am currently capable of (meaning that doesnt force me to interact with people in person) is going to come with the same pitfalls.I feel like I need a serious break from work. Like a year to heal from all the shit that has happened to me, but I dont have anyone who is willing to help me. Ive considered staying with my parents but I think that will only make matters worse.I keep fantasizing about picking up and traveling for a while.. .focusing on getting in shape while I am on the road.. documenting it maybe... but Im scared. Scared of not being able to find a job on the other side of it... scared of becoming destitute in the process... Id like to hope I Flatulence/wind up doing this before killing myself... but it is hard, frightening and Ive already said a lot about my current Loss of motivation and fear. ', 'I basically have never believed in anything except for the time I previously mentioned and that went away when I lost my connection to happiness and life in conjunction with my becoming more of a realist and understanding the way the world really works better. As for how long I tried to take meds.... about a year. At first they seemed to help except caused Erectile dysfunction.. but that really plateaued after a few months and after a year I decided the Erectile dysfunction wasnt worth the nothing I was getting out of taking them. Unfortunately the psychological side of the Erectile dysfunction has still lingered and is often a problem. Its been over a year since I stopped taking them so its not like this decision to take my life is coming as a direct result of stopping. I am just Tired of failing. Ive been trying different strategies to get back on my Oedema of extremity for 4 or 5 years now. How long do you try and continue to get sicker and sadder before it is clear that it is just too late?People die after being miserable and alone for decades. I dont want to be one of them.']",Behavior
user-124,"['Same, pm me and we can talk.', 'Hi. Im in the SAME situation: no  family (parents passed, foster child, no friends etc. ) Ill tell people this from time to time and they really dont get it. If I kicked the bucket tomorrow there would be nobody at my funeral-for real!! Just the hand I was dealt. Its so confusing and heartbreaking sometimes though. One foot in front of the other, until my day in the sun comes...  Its strange not being connected to anyone at all. Be strong', 'Its crazy how much we need that. Well I have no family (foster child, both parents passed), I recently got out of an eight year relationship and lost all my friends in the process, I have no money....   I look around the world and feel like it could be a lot worse... but really there is nobody in the world that loves me. I actually count days where I go without speaking to anyone. I dunno anymore.  Enough about me. Although my name is Jenny and I live southern California. You???????????????????', 'Been waiting to feel like a woman for 30 years. No kids either. Honey, I dont know your story is but just work your way outta the sleep. Just do it slowly, one foot in front of the other. You dont have to wake up over night. But do wake up! I know a few more answers will come your way if you do...', 'How where you fucked over??????? ', 'Something out of nothing.... Hello :)', 'Somethingoutof...... The world is a heartbreaker. I dunno what your story is but I feel a lot better about this place just exchanging a few messages with you. I know that sounds corny but I do. You gotta be something special... Sorry you feel so hopeless....', 'May I ask how old you are???  I too feel like the universe just dealt me a shitty hand and somethings are out of my control...', 'Why are you here?  Honesty this is my first time here (on SW).  I tried, failed and was committed when I was 16.  So many people out there that feel the same way I feel right now: hopeless and also feeling Tired ""what for??"" I guess theres comfort in that.... ', 'Im the worst to give advice but.....youre sooooo young friend!!! I wanted to die for a multitude of reasons when I was 20, so glad I held out. Youll meet somebody else and then wonder how it is that another person can have so much sway over your heart in the blink of an eye. Hold on, itll pass.  I tried when I was 16 and failed. When I hit my early twenties it was like the clouds parted. Youre day will come, just gotta make it through this ruff patch. So many paths ahead of you...', 'Sorry: I did read over your comments. Im really inarticulate.... Do you already feel disappeared?? Or more just hopeless.... Im so bad at this!!! ']",Attempt
user-125,"['While people are bit burdened by my admitting my panic, it seems to help just a little, because its one less Fear to obsess over - the ""do they know Im panicking?"" ', 'Diagnoses seem to serve only two purposes - They help guide doctors toward certain medications/treatments and they are used by insurance companies to set rates to pay doctors. Even if you could name the exact disease with a title, there still wouldnt be a single treatment that would alleviate all of the symptoms.That being said, Im surprised that your doctor went with wellbutrin vs. an SSRI. But hey, Im not a medical doctor! SSRIs treat Depression and Anxiety/panic attacks at the same time, and have worked well for me who suffers from both.', 'Im glad you can see that it may not be the therapy, but rather the therapist that may be causing you a bit of strife. Youve noticed some Tired telling red flags. If you have any other choices within the current price range, it might be worthwhile to switch. What I would be looking for is someone who is cautious to throw out advice until they understand your situation.', 'BTW, it kinda feels like there two of you in your mind. The one who is berating you and your bad decisions, and then the one who actually messes up. Do you think it might be, you get Feeling nervous in certain situations. I notice that when Im around other people, I act really nutty.', 'Typically, Depression is diagnosed when you have a few of the symptoms on ""the list."" I was researching Feeling angry a few days ago and noticed a relatively new diagnosis called ""Intermittent Explosive Disorder""', 'Im sorry to hear that anti-depressant medicine pretty much has been a bust for you. The traditional alternative to medication is cognitive behavioral therapy. It supposedly is effective in mild cases of Depression. But I can tell you from experience, it is a long haul treatment. Adderall does have a bad rap for abuse, but if you follow a doctors regimen and promise not to take more than prescribed it might give you a mild boost in mood. I only say this because my wife takes Ritalin for ADD, but it seems to make her a bit happier and have more energy.  ', 'Have you ever picked up on positivity and joy from someone? PM me if youd ever like to chat about spiritual stuff. I feel like you have a gift but you are also weighed down by something, heaven knows what. But I believe things like this can be improved...', 'I know a boat-load about the other side from personal experience. Its not something I can talk about on this subreddit, but you can PM me if youre curious. Needless to say, unless someones body and mind are broken inside and out, this place (here and now) is a lot more fun and interesting.', 'Thats awful that when you were not under their roof and not helping you out, they still were nagging you. Its also disappointing that while your brother and sister probably get their own criticisms from your parents, at least they can wipe their tears with dollar bills. What other options have you thought of besides the nuclear option?', 'Congratulation on getting me to read your whole story. I normally avoid the long ones. My theory is that most people are full of serotonin or whatever - and are internally and eternally happy. People like us are lacking this - and therefore see the world for what it really is - a second-rate non-scripted reality show.', 'It sounds like she might have gotten a bad lot with professionals in her first try. The problem is that if she ignores her issues and commits some sort of self - harm shes going end up being forced by the state into some regimen. You are being a saint sticking by her. Id encourage her to get a ""second opinion"" I went through a few docs until I got my treatment working for me so that aspect IMHO is not a big deal. ', 'Unless our parents take the time to go to support meetings themselves (e.g. parents of children with mental Illness) theyre not going to know how to work with you to make your life better. Your best advice is going to come from people who have/had mental Illness also and professionals who have studied the field and know techniques that have at least been somewhat scientifically tested.', 'I remember to this day when someone pointed out one my personality flaws. So, in that case, Pain can last. But the truth is I needed to know this so I could learn to improve myself. Also, I often find that when someone ""insults"" me, it only hurts when it resonates with me - in other words, when I can see some truth to it.', 'I agree that if you can show improvement in your drumming this will give your bandmates something positive to share with you. I also agree that, at least, for now they are your social support - so you may not want to share all of your negativity with them if they cant handle it. But - please find someone you can share your Depression with - you dont want to suffer alone. Thats the worst.', 'How long were you together with them?', 'I see from your comment history, youre 41 like me, but youve been down a lot rougher path than I have. SSRIs have kept me sane for the last 20 years. How long have you been suffering?', 'Have you tried seeing a doctor about your possible Depression? Depression can really make your memory into mush. It can also lead to Feeling angry outburts. A lack of interests - or not really enjoying anything is another sign. Medication can help some people. Also, although youve tried it once, you could try again with a therapist that focuses solely on improving your mood, not trying to change you.', 'So let me get this right, the Depression made you feel. Now that you are on meds, youre more functional, but life is boring/numb? If thats the case, you may want to ask your doc for a new medication (you can always go back). I used to take Zoloft, it made me OK but completely empty. Meanwhile Paxil and Celexa, I was also better, but didnt die inside. ', 'Seeing as you are like me in the belief of the divine, you might appreciate a dream I once had. A man sent me a wave of energy he called pure unconditional love because I asked him too. It was an amazing feeling of light and warmth. I felt myself crawling into a fetal position as I sobbed in joy. He then told me you do not need to ask for this love. It is inside of you, it is your birthright. (it is everyones birthright)', 'Manager at a McDonalds? Thats not a failure by any means. I would agree you wouldnt want that to be your last step up the career ladder. But that shows organizational and leadership skills and generalizable to other fields.', 'You are a trooper. Ive been Depression for over 20 years, but medication has kept me afloat. If you ever want to chat more and ""bring me down"" you can PM me.', 'Well. I read your post. So at least a few people are ""listening"" to you right now.', 'Im sorry that a random internet stranger like myself would be making you feel worse. ', 'Psychiatrists are not usually appropriate for counseling for the exact reasons you offered, the session is too short, and they are not often experts in counseling. Instead, a much less expensive social worker would be a better bet, if its possible. You could get a full 45 minute session and hopefully a much lower rate. Good luck in finding something like what Im claiming...', 'Im sorry to read that you are suffering.', 'I suggest you cross-post to /r/suicidewatch to get some more eyeballs.', 'I got hit with Depression at age 19. Sure you could blame that for the first time in my life I was getting Bs in classes. But yeah, *it* happens. If your Depression is biological in nature, the cause is unclear and still debated in scientific circles. Medications help a subset of these people. Hopefully, you are one of them. Another option is cognitive therapy.', 'She sounds like she is in unimaginable Pain. As long as you are not in harms way, you are being a saint by sticking with her.', 'Ill bet, deep in the subreddits, there is a subreddit devoted to this Tired topic. ', 'Very cool. Another interesting idea, I just discovered a site called 7cupsoftea.com, where you can chat with non-professionals (mostly) and they are supposed to just listen (and ask good questions). I wish I had that resource when I was in my depths of isolation in college.', 'Panic attacks can be ridiculously uncomfortable. Theres a lot of possibilities for anti-depressant medications. Ive been through about 9 in my life, so far. Things can get better, if one of them helps you. Your experience with ""free"" therapy is unfortunately all too common, it seems. If you Google some resources on cognitive behavior therapy, you might be able to work with the therapist on the basic exercises.', 'It sounds like you have done an amazing job keeping your friend on this planet. The only thing I can think of are free medical/counseling services offered by the county/state of his residence. ', 'CBT was not an end-all-be-all for my Depression. But I guess it eventually changed how I perceived myself which is a good thing. I looked back at a journal I spent about 1.5 years on. Page after page of negative thoughts I had , followed by logical responses to them. Lot of repeating my self. But thats the point, you have to fight your inner critic tooth and nail, so that it doesnt keep bringing you down.', 'I found that I got quite miserable when I was forced to take many separate days off. When you say you dont have money to do things: Some things are nearly free. Like walking outdoors in relatively low car traffic areas, e.g. parks, subdivisions. Also, walking around indoor shopping malls. Like I said, Im no expert on dealing with days off ;)', 'When I got serotonin syndrome I became majorly obsessive and Anxiety. ', 'I actually know someone who dove head first into the shallow end of the pool and became paralyzed, so thats a Tired chilling analogy :)', 'Is there something you did recently to bring this on? Something you feel bad about doing.', 'I found that in my depths of Depression, Tired few people wanted anything to do with me. Those that did are special souls. But even they could only take so much, and I was isolated quite a bit. ', 'What Im hearing you say, is you definitely dont want the status quo of your current profession. But without a motivator - like a specific career goal (scuba-diving internet engineer) its hard to be motivated to go through all of the coursework of getting a degree. Not to mention, without the social aspects of college, its not enjoyable.It sounds like, at the end of the day, you need things to live for, a partner, a dream job/location, etc. - and right now you dont. Without some carrot, now or in the future, life seems hard to get excited about, especially as changing course at this point in your life is difficult, scary, and theres no guarantees of success.', 'Im not OK with it. I feel empty when neither is in effect. And Im certainly not as productive when I feel content and unexcited. I dont have a good solution, but I feel like my life is better than most where Fear is practically the only motivator. What motivates you?', 'Have any of the medications helped with Depression but you just couldnt tolerate the side effects? Theres another therapy thats a lot less scary sounding then ECT that involves magnetic stimulation instead. Youd have to google it, to see if its available or even approved.', 'What normally distinguishes healthy vs. Depression is how long a depressive episode lasts. For example, something bad happens - normal people will be sad for a few days and then recover. Depressed people will linger in Feeling unhappy much longer. Another possibility to consider is that you maybe getting swings from the SSRI. If you felt like you were ""on top of the world"" for awhile on Zoloft, that could mean it pushed you too far in the manic direction. No matter what, that will be followed by a low. If thats the issue, sometimes a mild mood stabilizer can help.', 'There are so many tutorials on Youtube regarding learning instruments. Maybe one will inspire you to pick up a used or rental instrument to give it a shot. ', 'Im glad you responded well to meds when you took them. I stopped and started medication many times throughout my life, but I every time I stopped, I slipped back into a bad time Tired slowly. Im now at the point, where I just take them regularly. If the issue is money, you can have your doctor prescribe larger pills that you break into pieces to last longer. Also, you can negotiate with your doctor about the dosage. For example, for the longest time, I took half of the smallest dose and I did fine.', 'Im sorry to hear about where you are at right now at.There are many classes of anti-depressants out there - and sometimes not only will they not work, but theyll make you worse. But you have to try each class once before you can rule them all out. Ive been on 9 different ones - and Im much better now. As far as having no money - are you too old to be on their insurance? That could help a lot - for example you can try out talk therapy. ', 'I guess results vary. Ive been on ssri s for about 20 yrs. Im not sure where Id be without them. ', '/r/Anxiety might have more relevance. But I totally get your situation. The energy of parties is too overwhelming. I prefer keeping it small. I guess it doesnt help you are in a foreign land.', 'Ive been on meds for 22 years. Yes there are adjustment periods. And you may want try different ones until you get the best effect with least problems. But in the end if you can get relief from Depression its worth the side effects. I had a really bad effect which was rare (every 6 months , severe abdominal spasms) but I still would rather be not Depression. ', 'Ill add that there have been studies that show that people who committed suicide had an excess of a chemical called quinolinic acid in their spinal fluid. Perhaps if they can figure out whats causing that or if that is a cause of Depression, then researchers may be able to find a solution to Suicidal Depression.', 'You sound like a wonderful person. It also sounds like you are doing everything right. The only missing component for her might be medication. I admit I wouldnt have the foggiest idea whether it would help her or not. I also would expect, if the therapist she occasionally sees was wise, they would determine whether or not to refer her to a doctor.Keep up your amazing work. BTW, I think youre correct in limiting your attention, so she doesnt just ""use"" you. It inevitably can build some resentment/negativity in the listener, so its good to have space.', 'None of these are bizarre fears. They are all quite real. I guess the problem is when you dwell on them a lot and let them get to you. My biggest Fear when I was younger was Fear of death. Drove me crazy. Then I discovered for myself that we actually do have an afterlife (which by the way, *is* a bizarre thought) BTW, even if Im wrong on that one, there will be some interesting technological solutions to extend life and achieve effective immortality in the next 50-100 years - not sure I will live long enough to reach that point. ', 'Therapy is pretty much appropriate for any concerns you might have especially when they are ones that you dont want to share with people close to you. If done right, they listen and give you techniques to help you think about things. I guess it comes down to whether insurance can cover it.', 'It seems like your current job is getting you down - and it is certainly not good enough to help your family. Physical presents are unnecessary. Your presence - your willingness to support her when you can and not give up - is a present enough.', 'I think I understand now. Youre concerned that your hormones are making you into someone you dont want to be. I believe you can take control, if you want, and it will become easier as your body/mind adapts.', 'My stock answer is for her to see a doctor. The doctor can make a diagnosis and prescribe some medication or therapy if he/she feels it is necessary.', 'I know what youre saying. it takes special people to go into the depths with you. I found a lot people were able to sorta be happy by just avoiding their thoughts and negativity. So when I brought it up they pulled away. You have to imagine it will eventually catch up to the ignorers.', 'It depends on your insurance whether you will need a referral. General doctors can prescribe anti-depressants, so you could start there. If they are stumped, or if you feel the doctor isnt listening to your concerns, then you can try a psychiatrist. ', 'I hope you can find a friend who is facing or has faced a similar struggle. They tend not to use the annoying tough love talk', 'Did you miss out on the college experience when you were younger?I know a person that went to college in their mid 30s and ended up becoming an MD. It was especially not easy for them, because they had a family they were responsible for and the college was several 100 miles away. And of course, 99% of the undergrads are 18-22. I guess my point is, anything is possible, as long as your brain is functioning (properly) and you want it bad enough.Dont get me wrong though, I understand lack of motivation. If it wasnt for the fact that I have to support a family and I have a job, Id be Depression regardless how much medication was pumped into me.', 'Are you freaked about going outside like Worried you will panic?', 'What are you Anxiety about? I know what its like to feel never-ending Anxiety that only ends in sleep.', 'Its rare to find a person from ones friends and family that really understand and accept your mental Illness. The fact of the matter is, if youve never had mental Illness or studied it, its difficult to understand the Pain of mental Illness. Nonetheless, there are a lot wonderful people out there as you have discovered. If you can get a professional to talk to on a regular basis, that would be the easiest, but perhaps the most costly, unless you have insurance. Many listeners at 7cupsoftea.com are mental Illness survivors themselves so at least they will ""get it.""', 'Nothing brought me more Feeling Feeling nervous than asking a woman out and having that first date. I remember once I was so Feeling nervous, that I ended up having to reschedule the date. It never got easier but at least I found someone that things worked out with.Im thinking that you actually have an interesting opportunity being friends with apparently single women. You should definitely take advantage of that, since I know people who dont have that edge. I guess when dealing with Anxiety you have to ask yourself what you want, how bad do you want it, and what risks youd be willing to take to make that happen. For example, say you asked a particular friend on a casual date. Whats the best thing that could happen? Whats the worst thing that could happen? ', 'This subreddit seems pretty safe. Also if you want to chat with people who are respectful, you can try 7cupsoftea.', ' Also look into newer magnetic  stimulation techniques. Sorry for your predicament. ', 'It sounds like those things did help, but its quite a fight with Depression. While medicine ultimately worked for me after trying several ones over many years, it doesnt work for everyone. If you want to see how most therapists treat Depression, you can look up ""cognitive behavioral therapy"" or check out the book ""Feeling Good"" Therapy is not so much about life coaching but more about working on battling the thoughts that, for some, seem to lead to Depression.', 'As you probably know, theres actually a term for Depression that seems to pop up during certain times of the year - seasonal affective disorder. In any case, if you can find a professional therapist to talk to, you can work through a lot of the trauma that you are having to endure. The conversations are private and I doubt your parents would ever know what you are sharing. Yeah, the professional might want you on medication, too, but its ultimately up to you, you cant be forced... unless you inflict self-harm (and live to tell the tale). Im actually quite hopeful for you. You seem to have a concern for others and if directed towards yourself, all the better.', 'Your wife may be eligible for something called WIC. http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/women-infants-and-children-wic Also, dont be so humble as to find about food programs. I once volunteered for a place that took like one day old food from restaurants/supermarkets and distributed to people in need. I have to believe stuff like that exists where you live. Theyll even deliver it to your door. Best of luck.BTW, I know you could let your wife collect on life insurance. But I think that your child would be better off having their father. I have a lot of life insurance but I know in my heart of hearts, that my kids need me not that money.', 'I have been going through a similar riddle right now - trying to find meaning and something worth pursuing.', 'I would think that nobody can force you to take a leave since conversations with professionals are typically protected by privacy laws. If you want to play it safe, get an outside therapist/doctor - this would ensure no meddling. What you have to weigh is voluntarily getting help and having a chance to succeed this year vs. not getting help and potentially either ""flunking out"" or being involuntarily admitted to a hospital and then being forced to take a leave.My story is kinda similar. In my second year of graduate school, I started relapsing with Depression/Anxiety. My graduate advisor offered to delay my qualification exam and seminars. I refused. Instead, I jumped backed into medication and therapy and was able to squeak by on my oral exam.', 'Looking back at the dark times in my life I am grateful for the few friends who stuck by me. Sometimes they may not want to chat. But remind them you are always available.', 'I appreciate your cynicism.  I think the following suggestion will not help you but I just want you to know the truth about therapy. The comments you think they would make is what parents  and friends make not therapists. Im not 1 just someone who had 3 in my lifetime. Look at the book Feeling Good or lookup cognitive therapy. This is what most therapists do. Other commenters correct me if Im wrong. Its been awhile.', 'As you just saw, Comedy is magical in that it converts the negativity of the world into something funny, producing a tinge of happiness', 'What happened to you was awful! I totally agree that police are usually not going to do Tired much in these cases unless someone was harmed. It is normal (and quite human) to feel exactly like you are feeling. I would suggest seeking out a professional therapist to work through this Pain time in your life, if your friends and family dont cut it for you.  ', 'Ive been on antidepressants for 22 years. I tried to go off them about 3 times before I threw in the towel. Exercise is great but sometimes its not enough to fight Depression. ', 'Depression and Anxiety go hand in hand. They must use similar neural pathways. I guess nows the time to try one of those things people tell you do to get better, but you were too sluggish to even try.', 'Theres a wide variety of communes out there (not all of them religion-based): http://www.ic.org/directory/communes/but I imagine everyone has to take on either agrarian or domestic responsibilities. I dont think I would fit in too well, unless they needed someone to write computer programs. Sure I could wash dishes, but Id get bored Tired quickly. ', 'You use the term ""medicated like a zombie""? I agree it is possible that certain medicines could make you worse off. But in my case, I have been ""medicated like a normal human being"" for the last 20 years. See a doctor, find out if you have Depression or something else. No one can force you take anything you dont want to - but at least youll get a professional opinion. ', 'Zaps might produce a Sharp Pain high pitch chirp in your head. Honestly for me not the worst of side effects.', 'Break it down into quantum subparticle tasks. ', 'Maybe http://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender can help. The nice thing about the internet is you are never alone if you can find the right people. Best of luck.', 'Human connection seems to be correlated with happiness. Im sorry to hear that youve been scarred by relationships in the past. Since you cant control what others think/say - A question to ask yourself is how you feel about yourself. If you dont like yourself or feel theres a lot wrong, then when people make certain comments it will trigger the feelings you have for yourself. To take as an example, people tease me all the time at work, but the reason I can cope, is because Im aware of the aspects of myself that are broken and I accept it. And if I know deep down the teasing comment is not true, it bounces right off of me and I can laugh about it.', 'It must be Tired frustrating being ignored by the mental health place.There have been times in my life, that I felt like the rest of the world was doing their thing, and I was in my own void.Come over to 7cupsoftea.com if you want to chat with some real people. ', 'Try talking to a professional about your concerns. In some ways theres less worries than talking to your friends, because you might freak them out. Professionals keep the conversations private and they also have probably seen your situation where there are no obvious reasons and they can help you work through these ideations.', 'I have spent my entire life seeking to be special. I still do at 41. BTW, the fact that you are a bass player means (I would think) that you should be at least a bit in demand. What Ive done over my life is as follows: I try to be good at what I do so at least I have a job and get paid well. And, from time to time I strive to be someone special. It hurts when I dont reach that level, but at least I have a cushion to fall back on. ', 'While it may not show the root cause, what thoughts go through your mind as you feel this Depression?', 'I can see your frustration. Its really two interrelated problems: not enough money to do the things that might improve your life, and a general feeling of ""whats the point?"" when youre not enjoying things you used to and your ""tribe"" (friends and family) are not being appreciative of all that youve done for them.Whats your current ""dying"" profession and whats the one that youd want to pursue if you had the means?', 'Nothing except pick the wrong person to talk to. Frankly a lot of people dont understand Depression"" but you seem so happy""', 'The argument is that if my body can generate that feeling/emotion in a dream, then somehow I could feel that while awake. I just need the secret code.', 'I understand about wanting to end your Anxiety - its Exhaustion and painful. Have you ever sought treatment?', 'Im sorry your family is so oblivious to the realities of mental Illness.Some ideas:Find a free mental health clinic nearby.Use a decoy to go to the doctor. Some fake Illness. The doctor should respect your confidentiality.One other route is St. Johns wort which is sold at health food stores. Its a mild SSRI, but costs more because its not covered by insurance. And dont ever take with a prescribed SSRI. Too much serotonin.', 'Thats good to hear! Maybe you can count the good days/bad days. And if nots improving over time, then try the increase (assuming your doctor allowed that).', 'A few links here:http://www.michigan.gov/mdch/0,4612,7-132-2943_52115-203750--,00.htmlAt the Tired least you may have options where you pay based on your income.', 'During my lonely era, I used to make up voices for my stuffed animals. Try to get professional help for Depression if you can. You cant rely on friends to pull you out of that and they could end up pulling away (because its Exhaustion if you dont know how to process the conversations)', 'If you want to read my story:http://www.reddit.com/r/Thetruthishere/comments/146ee9/iama_astral_projector_who_meets_up_with_spirits/If you want to learn how to do the out-of-body method yourself:http://www.robertpeterson.org', 'Have you sought professional help like a doctor or therapist? Depression commonly emerges in college. Im sorry to hear that youve had to endure this during a time when youre trying to get a foothold on your own.', 'It sounds like you became an adult years ago, but youre still fighting for independence from your parents. I can imagine thats frustrating and Exhaustion. Do you live at home?', 'Your rebelliousness is fairly normal. Paranoia is never a good sign. Social phobia leads to isolation which is not always bad but you lose an aspect of life that can bring happiness and a sense of belonging. The dividing line I perceive in myself in whether to seek professional help is when I lose some ability to function - school or work. Frankly at this age is better to err on the side of hypochondria since mental Illness typically rears its ugly head by late teens, early 20s.', 'Connecting to others is essential to our well-being. So I understand how this is bringing you down.I find it hard to believe that people are picking up on something deep inside of you. It must be something more external that you may not realize, and no one has ever had the courtesy to let you in on it. I remember asking once why I was so avoided, and someone explained that i was too overbearing in conversations. I interrupted people while they were talking and I just talked too much.', 'There may be something that is turning them off (body odor comes to mind). Wouldnt it be cool if one these dates would explain what their turn off is? That could help immensely.', 'Ive lead an amazing life so far, but have been a Depression sufferer for slightly more than half of that. No amount of money or success will fix a broken mind. But medication/therapy sometimes can help.', 'I like the idea of continuously lowering the dose through tinkering with the capsules. Although, it might affect the time-release nature of the pill. Substituting another SSRI like Prozac that is easier to withdraw from sounds smart too. ', 'I found that when I was on Zoloft, I felt better Depression-wise but life seemed empty. Bottom line, if you can get an anti-depressive effect from one medication, theres a good chances others in the same class will work too - and they may not give you that same dull-ness feeling.', 'Your compassion for your ex-stepfather shows how wonderful you are. But, what he did to you was 100% wrong and 100% criminal. And you can kinda see why: even though you may not have any lasting physical scars/bruises on the outside, you have been damaged on the inside by his behaviors. Im not suggesting you shouldnt continue to love and support him but, you owe it to yourself to take of yourself first and foremost and work on healing your inner wounds with a professional counselor/therapist. ', 'Your logic is fine is your belief is correct - that death is the end of consciousness. In fact, humans still exist on this planet because we have    irrational urges to continue our species. Im in the minority, though, in believing that theres more to this world than meets the eye. I guess you could say I believe life is a gift. BTW, I know what its like to struggle to be happy. Perhaps, the upside of Depression, it that I appreciate it more when those moments of happiness do occur.', 'Im sorry to hear about your heart condition. Your concerns are completely normal. My advice would be to ""invert"" your house (bedroom on first floor, etc.) or move into a rancher. When people get older, they choose housing without stairs because of the extra strain. In your case, you would get some peace of mind.', 'Well. I dont understand the dynamics of you and your parents, but if you feel that your ""down""-ness is starting to interfere with grades, etc. you owe it to yourself to ask them not so much for understanding (because they might not understand) but the opportunity for you to get a professional opinion (presumably they will trust a family doctors opinion)', 'Thank you for sharing your story here. Seeing as you are (or were) a bookworm, I can understand the challenges in meeting people and making friends, because frankly a lot of people dont like to think too deep. If you pick a few random strangers, they are most likely interested in pop culture and just ""having fun"" I found a few friends online because in the vastness of the world, there are other people who will be on my wavelength. While reddit ends up being fairly anonymous, forums on the net devoted to specific topics can be a nice way to interact with people who have similar interests. Sure, its not as immediate as in-person interaction, but it can still be quite engaging",Ideation
user-126,"['I can try to fool myself it will work.  ', 'Yes actually,  I feel that way most of the time.  ', 'Self trust as self esteem.... never thought of it that way.  Maybe. Its that I tell myself to do something and then I dont,  I start not to trust myself. I doubt even trust myself what Id do in rape during rape fantasies, what Id do if it actually happened, and that translates into sex life... in ways. It mindfucks me sometimes.I guess I can start simple...', 'Im Tired of people not trusting me when I dont trust myself. I asked God if he trusted me, he does. I cried because I really want to take that step of self trust', 'Whatever decision you choose to make, please take care of yourself well so that you dont make a mistake that will affect the rest of your life.', 'Its not hard.  We barely talk as it is.  My parents on a monthly basis and my brothers,  never', 'Ive had that parent figure that called me selfish. To me, I was personally Pain by that comment. Id recommend that you just *try* not to dwell on those behaviors. They do nothing to help you. Im not sure how to deal with that myself, it still hurts years after the comments were made and still think that about myself...In any case, it *does* help to talk to someone. Im currently trying to convince my apathetic and scared self that it will be beneficial if I just talk to someone. Even if I bawl my eyes out. I hate when that happens, but tears do have healing properties.', 'Youre right, I have almost no trust in myself. And if I tried to write to my friends, itd be a lot longer than the post I wrote here to explain all the events of the last half a year. I know... Im trying to find excuses not to talk to them, and the list of excuses is growing less... but I also have a phobia of checking my emails or text.I havent even checked my personal emails since late Sept.', 'If i dont  have an easy means to achieve them,  then it makes life harder.  I havent been able to  enjoy myself like the great outdoors in years.  Only my company gives me something of a pleasure but its fleeting. I  come home .... to no one', 'The beach. .. Can you believe there are no buses yo take you there from where i live? Unless i spent four hours in transit to get there when it takes less than a  hour by car. Even so? Theres probably no place around Tampa beaches to legally camp ', 'This is me to a T. Youre not stupid for feeling this way. I know I will never be able to end myself (see my first post to Reddit under this name, created today).So, dont feel alone. For me, it comes and goes. Im just waiting for this spell to end. One thing I normally do is not take care of people or do my chores. However because my SO had a bad fall today, I made him coffee. I felt somewhat marginally beter, but not by much. I was just a bit happy that I was able to help him in tha way. If I remained lazy, he wouldnt have that much needed coffee (hes prone to narcolepsy).What Im saying--hang in there! :)', 'I miss  rock  climbing but that requires having a buddy. And camping. I want to do solo camping but that requires transposition and i cant drive because of my bad vision. Anything  outdoors is impossible to do on my own except if i paid an expensive taxi to drive me. I live in the middle of a large city', 'I blame my isolation on being deaf and living among Hearing people who dont understand the struggle.  Thats why i crave internet.  I love not being left out', 'Youre right, it is a difficult conversation to have. I feel the same way. Youre also right that they dont look at you in the same way. Thats why you should find a stranger--whether it be a therapist or your local bartender and just talk. There are powerful things about the act of speaking that we cant begin to understand. So, find someone, whether its someone you know or a stranger off the streets, and then talk. But the stranger or the friend might not want you talking to them, so, find a *willing* listener. ;)', 'Id love to pick up and chat, but I dont like how my voice gets when I start to feel slightly upset. I like to maintain control over my voice and if I cant talk, then why bother calling?(One of the reasons I like to try and maintain control over my voice is because Im hard of hearing.)', 'I cant do that for you, I dont know you. I *could* help brainstorm and get you started.* Flowers* Witness all the sunsets* Love* Stories you read* Shows you watch* Helping someone who isnt as fortunate as youBasically--create a new sense of purpose in lifeWhatever that purpose is, living for the new sunset and new sunrise, living for the unfortunate people, living for love, or even living for--I dont know--the beautiful grass in your backyard that decorates your garden gnome just so.While you are finding that purpose, you can also find someone to air out your thoughts and feelings. Even if its a stranger. It doesnt matter if all the emotions you have is apathy, how you dont care about the politics of the world, how you dont care about your grades, how you dont care about your performance at work, doesnt matter how pointless or empty. Put all of your thoughts on as many subjects as you can out of your mind and into the open, whether it be here or with someone IRL.', 'I plan to reddit and read and  write.  Probably do some  solo vacationing', 'Im just going to have to keep the friendships superficial,  mostly at work.  If i get this new  job within my company,  Im gonna be aloof  as the work will be technical in nature. ', 'Im going to write books and get better at coding or improving process  flows  at work.  I love improving processes to get the job  done  faster.  So thats where Im gonna  make money while i wait to die.', 'I feel you, bro. Sometimes I just want to stop living my life and do nothing. Does your parents know you are feeling this way? If they call you lazy bum, like my step dad did, tell them that you feel like you have nothing to live for. Or something to that effect. Let them know because they may not know why youre the way youre acting. If they are at least somewhat knowledgable, theyll know what Depression means and try to be more understanding.As for your friends... I dont know--maybe bring someone into your circle of friends and start having some kind of group therapy? I think this would be a great opportunity to create a support group and start talking about your feelings with one another. Start meeting up once or twice a Asthenia if youre a high schooler. Decide on how often you wanna meet.The point here is, start talking to someone. It helps--a lot more than youd ever know.', 'It is  hard because it would just make people awkward if i say i dont know whats going on on a daily basis in conversations so i just keep  quiet. This however does  not happen at work and i love  it when i whats going on. Ill  miss them when i move on to a better paying  job ', 'My friends hasnt sought me out because i dont take the initiative to contact them.  Itll be the same with family,  eventually theyll stop trying', 'Ive been hanging in there because of love for nearly two decades.  I dont want to hang in  there anymore.  If i must trick  myself then yes', 'That first sentence... resonated deeply. I need to think on this a bit.', 'Good question. If it was me (suicdal myself), if I picked up the weapon of choice, Id probably call 911. Thats what I tell myself when asking myself when do I call 911 or go to ER. Ive had Suicidal thoughts over the past 15 years, but I never took ""that first step"" to picking up the weapon of choice or coming close to the edge of a cliff before I jumped off.But maybe thats the wrong method to use if I need help.If someone else asked me that question, then Id probably say--Only YOUknow how far into your sucidal thoughts you are that warrants calling 911. Maybe youve told yourself that youd call 911 if you started thinking: ""what kind of weapons should I use?"" Or ""I think thats where Ill jump"" or ""Im selecting tomorrow as the day to die."" Or ""I think Ill start giving my stuff away before I die.""But like the other poster, your thoughts could be one thought too late, or you may have a thousand before you take that first step. In all cases of sucidal thoughts, always find somebody to talk to to air out your mind and get help. Dont wait. ', 'Posted that rely under main user name: Inn Tired of making new friends that Ill end up hurting them.  It never fails.Im 28', 'Another thing about therapists, i m too self conscious and focused on trying to say the right stuff. I tried five different people for several seasons, two lasted half a year, and each time Im upright and leave just as unsettled as I entered.Meet ups... blind people dont understand what is like to be deaf, and deaf dont understand what its like to be blind. They get frustrated when communicating with me because of the differences. Since try to learn and do make it work. My bf is totally bind but can hear. Hes the most understanding when it comes to communicating. But Depression.... he didnt have patience, even when I try to explain especially since he knows whats like to be Depression and Suicidal.', 'I... dont know. I never know what I want to talk about when Im like this. My mind is blank, always blank. Nothing. I think about how it would be nice to talk about anything and have them only respond positively and never judge me. I cant afford therapists. I hate being this way because Im deaf and blind and its nearly impossible to be I a social situation.Like today, I learned thata good friend of mine at work is leaving for another job. I would have known this by overhearing conversations.She never told me and full well aware that I cant hear well to overheat conversations naturally.This happened an hour after my bf basically saying that my attitude of apathy made him think, AGAIN, that I dint want to be with him. Thing is, I dont know if I want to be with him.I never really know what I want because Im apathetic 80% of the time, the other times is when I read books, solving problems in coding, and rich climbing. All nothing to do with socializing, and I want friends. ', 'Ill answer the question in its order: I do worry, but a lot less than I used to. It can be  rnadom thought at times, but probably tied to the worries I constantly had. As for reliving...1. Was molested as a kid (forced oral both ways with 13 year old male babysitter and my younger brother (he was also forced)2. Was fingered by my older brothers friend in the pool 3. I get a lot of attention from men because of my body, and makes me paranoid4. One ex bf wanted to have sex, and I said no, many times. At that time, I was also extremely suicial. I gave up the fight because I didnt care. I also lied to myself that maybe Ill finally have romantic feelings for him. (I never felt lust or love for him but enjoyed his friendship. You could say hes friendzone-able, but dated because I rather be with a nice guy than with someone who could abuse me.) Later, I felt Pain that he would be so persistent and not listen to what I wanted. I ended the relationship because of that. It was a dark period of Suicidal thoughts when I realized I had actually allowed it to happen.And now... my current bf. I wonder if I actually want him or not. I definitely feel *some* lust. Hes cute, and I love everything about him. But I wonder if Im just mentally raping  myself because I dont want sex. I ignore the no in my head because I wanna do it.Im ashamed to not let him know that I actually dont want sex for a long while, at least until marriage. But I gave myself over to sex for the fun of it even though Im not mentally all in. If that makes any sense. I def need to let him know.... But hes gonna be torn up about it. Thus, I dont want to Pain him or anyone. As I said, I have a tendency to Pain people. ', 'Even if you feel this way while with friends, have him come over and hang out for awhile. If you want to bawl your eyes out to him, dont let shame hold you back. I agree with him that you should send a simple text, ""I need you, can you come over?"" Then say how you feel as you posted here. It might help, especially if it will let him know that youve got these thoughts.Its hard to constantly take care of ourselves, so let others help care for you emotionally by just hanging out. ', 'You should go find someone to talk to, then. It sounds like more than just ""have a great life."" I too have an awesome life and awesome set of friends and family. Even so, I still feel like whats the point? The point for me to hang on to this world is love.Find someone to talk to.', 'Can you talk to us about it? We can help you find reasons to live. There are many, many reasons! Even if its a silly reason but a reason nonetheless. It also helps to get your thoughts out there, whether on Reddit or talking to someone you know.', 'Theres not much area to hide in. I dont have the guts to camp like that because i dint want to get into terrible and possibly lose my job. Its a protected reserve', 'No there isnt any  where else close by that i know about.  I should mention that its Tampa. ', 'Thank you so much Zebra, youve helped. Have a good night and talk to you tomorrow.', 'My company does have a nice park in and around the campus.. the only woods they got is five minutes worth of walking,  round trip because the tail is a dead end. ']",Ideation
user-127,"['Ive tried to do work and have sat down and looked at it for hours, but I just cannot find a way to focus and get it done. I want to believe things will get better, but it feels so much like it just wont ever be okay. I would like to go to college but I know I probably wont do so good then either. But thanks for the encouragement. ', 'I really do appreciate your kind words and your understanding, so thank you. The problem though is that my family doesnt necessarily care that I get like this. My mom just expects me to do the work and I get yelled at every single day for failing. Im left alone when I am upset and I just dont really have anyone, except my boyfriend now. I want to fix my mental state, but I dont know how. Ive tried everything from getting fresh air to trying to talk to old friends to just watching a funny movie. It seems as if nothing works though. I feel sad all of the time and Im terrified that if I dont end my life, Ill just be sad for the rest of it. I really want to hope itll be okay though, so I am going to try. Thank you though, I wish more people thought the way you did. ', 'I found that Tired beautiful, and I actually do feel a bit better after reading that, so thank you. I guess I should try therapy again, it does feel good to talk about these Suicidal thoughts, but I usually find it pretty hard to explain in person. I havent been able to talk to anyone in a long time and was just feeling so miserable and down that I made this post out of feeling hopeless. Ive been told many times I am definitely a pessimist and I know that having a more positive outlook on life would help, but I admit Im just incredibly cynical and find it hard to look on the bright side of things. All I see for myself is failure, no matter how hard I try to stop. I will definitely try though. I know its hard, incredibly hard, but I will keep trying to go on. ', 'Its alright, this school year Ive been away from public school since October. I really do hope I snap out of it, its just really hard to be okay. But you could be right, I believe he loves me now at least, and Im lucky to at least have that in my life to look forward to. ', 'Hes eighteen, so hes only two years older. My family knows about him and have met him and hes a Tired nice guy,  but I understand why youd think that. Thank you for your concern. ', 'Thats how it was with me before I pretty much gave up. I seemed to be doing alright, but then I kept getting worse and its like the Depression just took over. I was surprised my boyfriend even came into my life, its funny how no one in my school payed attention to me, but someone halfway across the world did. Im sorry to hear that you lost people who were close to you, I definitely know that feeling. All of my friends pretty much abandoned me, so all I really have is my boyfriend. I believe my mother would be hurt. Maybe my sister. I grew up in a pretty messed up home, so other than that I doubt my father or brother would care. ']",Ideation
user-128,"['Im grateful, and I saw your post just now but figured Id mention it here. Im grateful youll give it another day, truly. Although Id ask you for ten years just as readily. I saw the whole landscape of the reality that pushed her to the edge change in the last decade. I cant say itd have been perfect, but things we thought could never ever happen for us is now a reality... But only for me. ', 'Sometimes when folks feel empty theyll eat more. Sorry youre not feeling well though. Does anyone in your life know you feel this way?', 'Traffic. My best friend stepped into traffic. She had a long struggle herself with addiction. Im still bummed every day shes not here. I wish her kids had gotten to know her. I remember the kid who hit her, in some ugly twist of irony I met him years later. It was a small town. He was absolutely crushed, and he could have died. I hear you, I hear youre in Pain. Addiction can seem like such a black hole and many programs forget to teach people to hope that one day theyd wake up and feel OK, find a new normal. It takes a lot of work and cooperation but its been known to happen. Although it sounds like youre self medicating the Pain.If youre on antidepressants Im assuming you have a doctor. Have you ever looked at other options? ', 'Generally if youd call the insurance company they can give you a list of providers. If youd like to talk to someone, then itd likely be beneficial for you.', 'Thats not how it works, though. Its poisoning. Slow organ failure, Pain stuff. Its ugly. Theres another thread just today from someone who is sitting in a diaper because their overdose made them incontinent. I cant think of a pill that would have you peacefully drift off, or even kill you outright. But, aside from that. Why Tuesday?', 'Being intelligent can be isolating, as you seem to be fully aware. Trouble is, most folks think that theyre more isolated than they truly are while theyre in school, or go off to college in search of other folks who think like them only to discover that college is more about following directions than having one of your own. Trouble is, in looking for someone to talk to about existential crises or the nature of existence or whether or not fish have feelings you miss out on the wisdom everyone has. If you listen closely enough, I feel as though everyone has an experience worth learning from. These big questions, theyre riddles and koans and designed to keep your mind hyperactive. Learn to meditate, allowing thoughts to pass unheeded is great for Anxiety and can slow the spiraling out processes. Do something youre unfamiliar with. Learn art or music or anything you currently dont know how to do, itll challenge your mind and give you a sense of fulfillment. Sometimes being intelligent you miss out on the opportunity to learn how to work hard. When information comes easily it can be difficult to learn the patience necessary to teach yourself new things. In the meantime the internet is full of people that can talk to you about whatever obscure concept may be rattling around in your brain. Wanting not to think, I hear you. But what you have is more gift than curse, ultimately. It just takes a lot of taming, and giving your brain more to do can help. Relaxation techniques and exercise can help to focus your thoughts. ', 'I understand youre scared but there are a lot of factors here. It sounds like youre Anxiety so dont forget to breathe. But whats going on man? Sound like you used a condom and theres steps between a positive pregnancy test and you having a baby so while this is clearly overwhelming, it sounds like youre jumping ahead in the script a bit. Also, and I hope it never gets there, but youre referring to these pills and I cant help but discourage that. Its a Pain way to go and could Tired easily not kill you and damage your organs. So, maybe start thinking about other ways you could avoid an uncomfortable situation? ', 'I did some research. Theres not much available in Colombia, although there are many relief programs from America that are doing work there. I wasnt able to find a phone number for any of them, however. Im wondering if youd be able to call a local number and ask what resources might be available for food, at least. I dont know if you have any space to grow food either. ', 'Stay vigilant, call the crisis line there and ask if there is a mental heath advocacy group you could get in touch with, or a social service that could help you secure proper treatment and housing. Keep looking for assistance until you find some. Im sorry that you reached out and ended up in less capable Weakness of hand then you needed, but I have faith that there are folks who could help if they knew your situation, and you just need to get in contact with them.', 'Thanks man. So, honestly, a family doctor is where youd wanna start. Same folks youd go to for a Influenza or whatever. Tell them about your Stress levels, and they might have a few options for you. If you have insurance and no doctor, take a gander at the back of your insurance card for a number and call them. Doctors are experienced with this stuff, and it sounds like a rather extreme reaction to life Stress, and Anxiety can be treated any number of ways. The rest of it, itll pass. Theres no way to know even if your worst Fear comes about and theres a child that you wouldnt be a kickass Dad with a kid you loved. Nobodys ever ready to be a parent, having a child MAKES you ready and willing to be a parent. Even still, thats pretty unlikely from what youve said so maybe youll have some time to remember to establish better communication with anyone you choose to be sexually active with.', 'Can I ask what country youre residing in?  Im sorry for how things are going, your sister may be looking to cope with her own problems, but maybe talk to her and see how she feels. People say things they dont really mean sometimes.Losing a loved one to suicide is Pain, so it sounds like your family is Worried, so they might really care.People rarely annoy us if we dont care about them, wed just ignore it.I dont know what services are available where you live for medical care and money issues, it sounds like theres a lot of Pressure though, maybe theres a local church? Churches can be Tired helpful for those in need and pastors willing to talk. I dont normally advocate this and I dont know what might come of it, but r/assistance might be interested in your story, and may be able to put you in touch with donors who may help with food. Theres no guarantees, and I dont know what youd need to have to receive donations, but its there for a reason. Definitely look to a church or united way or any assistance organizations in your area.', 'Caffeine?? Youll be terrified. Theres no peace in that, just terror and then your heart explodes.', 'Yes, overdosing hurts and makes you Tired Illness. Im glad you at least shared this fact with folks here. Look, this could save your life. This trip could change everything around, just be open, be honest, and see if you cant find a way to a new normal.', 'Stopping any medication on your own without doctors supervision is dangerous. Definitely get in contact with your doctor and see if you can open up lines of communication to look more closely at your options if youre uncomfortable taking that medication. Observations like the one you shared can also be important for your doctor to know how to best help you, in the meantime maybe youd enjoy looking through a philosophy subreddit? It looks like youve got an interesting view on the world and theres a lot of places thats always welcome.', 'And in the future, its not just about having sex with folks you love, that can help for sure. But make sure you have sex with folks you can discuss feelings like this with. If youre not ready to be a father, take extra precautions and only sleep with someone who also doesnt want to have a child. As it stands, thatll be her choice down to the last minute, but opening up that line of communication before you have sex can help save you some Stress. ', 'This sounds a lot like Excessive upper gastrointestinal gas lighting, and as a therapist she should be familiar with the concept. Now, its difficult because Im only hearing one side of this but she certainly shouldnt be diagnosing you without full information.', 'Thats a good start then, if her folks didnt care about you I dont think theyd open their home to you. They might seem detached, but its a big deal to let someone into your home. Sorry about the abusive step dad, that sucks, just be a better dad. Five months along, hope everythings healthy. Im sure your girlfriend cares about the father of her child, but shes likely going through a lot as well right now and it can be hard to express that. I hope you stick around, having a child opens up a whole new world.', 'Heeeyyy? You alive? ', 'Damn. Thats pretty brutal man, Im glad youre in a more stable place now.', 'Sorry youre not feeling well, but I can hear the fight in you. It seems like youve got a lot of heart. Keep up with your therapists, and never be afraid to tell someone when things get grim like that. If it gets real, dont be afraid to take big steps to get the best results. Inpatient stays can be a huge intervention, its designed to turn things around in hopes of finding a new normal. Stay vigilant and youll get through this. ', 'Look, I think we can all agree that the modern school system is not educational. I was bored, beyond bored. But, at your age I started playing music. School was purely, and will remain, ancillary. And thats, totally OK, but aborting your potential is not. I can tell youre bright, and existential crisis and general disillusionment is a pretty common side effect of being pretty damn bright. But youre smart enough to figure out a way to see school as merely a means to an end. If I judged the value of my life by the amount of personal freedom I had I wouldnt be able to do much. I dont have my health, as such I dont have much scratch.But what I do have is a mind to do whatever I feel like doing alongside whatever I need to do to maintain a societal status quo. Learn to play the game, if you learned stocks youll learn this in a hot minute. Itll be worth it. Get in there, kick ass in school, find something outside of school you love doing/researching, and get a scholarship and let them pay you to do whatever you want. Now, at the same time, nobodys saying you have to do any of it. Once youre an adult you can move to a Buddhist temple or live in a grass hut somewhere and never deal with society much at all if you want.Im here to assure you that the construct youre feeling oppressed by is merely that, and many people live outside of that construct. Nobody says you have to work, have to use money, have to get a degree... You dont.But a degree will make it possible to get an easy job, easy money, easy housing... And trust me, you dont want to be hungry. Work with your school, work with your parents. Theyre right, the homeschooling yourself doesnt work, and youd be depriving yourself of the opportunity to take the easiest path through life, and dropping out... If you really want to, I still hope you dont. I feel like finding someone you can talk to would be the best though, someone who can understand where youre coming from, and a PhD in psych tends to be a pretty smart person. This life is only one of hundreds youre gonna have between now and 30, Id rather be 80 than 13 again, honestly, but my perception changed and widened overtime. Im pretty creative and I still couldnt have conceptualized the life Im living now when I was 13. Also, your method... No, just no dude, even just attempting it you could brain damage/paralyze yourself. ', 'That sucks, have you talked to your girlfriend since? She could have been concerned, just wanted to make sure you were looking. Not having your own place can be a bummer so maybe she just was hoping for the best. How far along is she? Does she live with her folks? If you dont mind answering, how old are you?And I hear you, sometimes I feel like folks care but have no idea what to say. It can be an alien state of mind to try and reach out to and many dont feel like its their place.', 'Thats Tired kind of you, and as an American this is a situation Im not too familiar with, its pretty heartbreaking, and youre clearly an incredibly strong person. Really though, Id go check that assistance subreddit I suggested and tell your story. There are generous people there who may be able to help you directly, or get you in touch with local groups. Are there other ways youd be able to work to get money? ', 'Facebook can really be a drag. Its not genuine though, folks present their public faces there and edit it to suit that purpose. Its OK to be antisocial, but it sounds more like you could pare down the friends until youre investing your time in people worthwhile. Fake friends are as draining as enemies because it makes social interactions seem forced. Ive only ever had a few close friends over my lifetime, and I dont regret that, I regret the time I wasted fostering friendships that really werent worthwhile. I realized a little too late though that as uncomfortable I was around people, they generally were equally uncomfortable, so I just tried to learn to put folks as ease and open up more where I could.', 'Hey man, I feel ya. I know a breakup can be rough as hell, and your actions arent too uncommon. Its natural to have a level of insecurity there, and there are a lot of great resources online for breaking that kind of pattern. Your ex may be feeling pretty emotionally Asthenia too right now, but its easier to reconnect with someone after youre feeling better. Its more likely they would talk to you later, if you give them some space, than never talk to you again. But, even if that were the case, youll have the opportunity to forge so many new connections in your life, so the important thing is to learn how to maintain them. Its OK to feel this way, but learning better how to cope with those feelings could take a lot of weight off your shoulders. I used to do the same thing, and would frequently look to my partners to validate me, and supplement my self confidence. It strained my relationships, because theyd feel as though nothing theyd do was enough. Ive also been on the receiving end, and it hurts to feel as though I didnt make someone feel loved enough, and for them to threaten to end a relationship because of it, even when I was doing my best. Communication, and learning how to self validate and be positive about yourself is huge. I dont know you, but Im sure theres something you do well and take pride in, thats a great place to start. As for the Ritalin, that much could lead to a heart attack, but more likely would lead to organ damage. In some cases of organ damage youd become incontinent, and need to wear diapers. So, please dont go. Theres a lot of life left for you, try and see if you can patch up the relationship with yourself, then new relationships can be formed, maybe even a friendship with your ex.The damage you did to your relationship with your friend sounds like it could be helped. Itd take a lot of work, learning to break the pattern and establishing a new friendship with them, but I know that a little bit of progress made a big difference in my experience. It takes practice, but its worth it. Try and empathize with them and know theyre likely not doing anything to be vindictive, merely ruby to protect themselves. Its OK to feel vulnerable. While I have no intention of diagnosing you, and those feelings and actions alone dont mean you are borderline, the actions youre describing are common in those with borderline personality disorder, and there are a lot of online resources for learning to break those kinds of habits if youd search for *borderline personality disorder relationship coping skills*.  ', 'Would you, though? Even if, for whatever reason, she decided not to abort, not to put a child up for adoption, would you truly ""not take care of"" a child? Many folks understand when someone does the best they can, and folks whod give you grief for trying just arent worth it. But besides that, Ive met a few folks who had serious Anxiety every time they had sex, whether they used a condom or not. Thats usually because theyre not aware of just how effective condoms can be. Provided you used it properly, it stayed intact and didnt break, condoms are pretty darn effective. Have you talked to her? Also, youre only giving it a few weeks? Stress, activity, normal fluctuations etc can make a period late, or even cause a missed one or two. It seems to me the problem here isnt so much pregnancy as it is your Stress level about it. Have you ever told a doctor about the panic? ', 'I think sometimes folks have a natural inclination to look at how others lives unfold and think ours should as well. Theres a lot of things considered normal that I may never do or have. According to most, I may never work or go back to school again, and without a job Ill likely never have the money to establish much independence. I havent had what some would consider a normal life for the country I live in, or many of the small privileges its common to take for granted. But Im happy, or at least feel privileged to be able to do what I am able to. Ive focused my life on relationships and never give up on hope that I may be able to live out a few dreams one day. Theres a lot of ways to live. In the meantime, contact local services and try and get some shelter, youll be able to think more clearly then. After that anything youd like to do, with enough planning, you would be able to start working towards. If nothing seems to fit, maybe you could just start driving. Ive met some wonderful people while traveling around and it changed my perspective on what it meant to be a ""have not"" in a society where much worth is based on the things you have. Youre a worthwhile person, no matter what your limitations or set backs may be and no matter what other folks may think of you. You still have kindness to offer so long as you draw breath.', 'Youre reaching out though and that takes courage. Even if its just explaining your reality, youre getting somewhere. What direction would you most prefer to go from here? How was your afternoon?', 'You alright man? Its just that its not a decision I want to make, and its not a solution I want to consider as my only possibility. There have been times it seemed that way, Im fortunate now to look back on it as a mistake. I understand many dont get to that point. But if I stopped looking for other options Id never find them. So its more thought experiment than anything. Even if I dont believe its not the answer, I look for others. I cant speak from anything but personal experience and others arent me. Thats just how Ive survived, and I hope that folks who post on here are, even a little bit, hoping to survive.', 'I dont believe anyones inherently evil, and mental Illness isnt necessarily something wrong, but something different, with whole fields of study and professional resources available. Sometimes folks just learn ways to cope with Pain that cause more Pain, and its important to look closely at those behaviors and replace them with better ones. Pain is something everyone has to learn to deal with at some point. Dont allow things to escalate further, Im glad youre considering professional help. One thing I know off the top of my head is that Emotional upset Pain, compulsive behavior (like wanting to talk to someone when youre going through a breakup and trying not to) is easily confused with feelings of anger, hunger, loneliness, sleepiness, and needing to use the bathroom. All those situations can cause Anxiety and Depression without us even knowing thats whats actually wrong. Also, keeping a journal can help you recognize patterns and triggers for different behaviors and negative coping skills. Meditation, light exercise, and any kind of artistic expression can help a lot and greatly reduce Stress. Keeping your blood sugar regulated can be huge as well. Its important when youre going through a hard time to try and do what you can treat your body well. Best of luck', 'Hey, how was your day? Are you alright? I know that hospitals can be pretty bad sometimes but there are some great mental health professionals out there. And please, dont take a bunch of meds at once. Theres a real potential for organ damage and death, but its more likely youd survive but have health complications after that.', 'Nah man, its up to you to handle your own stuff. Its just good of you to think of others. The folks at the hospital are going to try and keep you healthy. Even if it seems harsh or Common cold and clinical if what you need is a hug, they might have best intentions in mind. Im glad you have access to the internet, many end up cut off from all communication. Can I ask why you dont feel like eating though?', 'Oh man, feels. Have you talked to them recently? I guess you dont think yall would get back together eventually?', 'Ugh that hit me straight in the gut. I had an ex get together with a mutual friend as well... But we eventually did get back together. Thats all a matter of circumstance and stuff. Still though, do you think reaching out to them would help?', 'Yeah man, instruments are self taught, self expression tools and they can take you places youd never think youd go normally. Especially since you linked the Wall in the OP.', 'Hard to say if it would apply to your situation, but Ive know some professors to be pretty understanding about mental health stuff. One extended due dates, etc. But aside from that, even if you didnt do as well as youd like to on your finals this semester, youd be able to pull your grades up in the future, and Ive had experiences where Ive been able to explain dips in my grades personally on applications etc, and found there are many understanding folks out there. I dont know if youre in treatment, or if anyone knows youre having a difficult time, but if you ever chose to see a doctor most schools have programs to make allowances (forgiveness for missed classes, extended due dates), for those with mental health concerns. Its something I wish had existed when I was in school and Ive seen it take a lot of Stress out the equation for some. ', '... Ugly bit of business. My best friend killed themselves a few years back. Honestly, if youre in a position where your friend expresses a plan to kill themselves, dont take it upon yourself to decide whether or not theyre serious. The most direct form of intervention is generally an involuntary committal. If its ever necessary, and its a matter of life and death, youre able to intervene at that level. I know that when it came to my friend I would have done whatever I could to prevent their death, even if they hated me for it at the time, even if they thought the hospital would do more harm than good it interrupts the downward spiral and puts them in contact with professionals who can help. Other than that, just be a good friend. Theres nothing you can really do.', 'Sorry about that, I didnt mean to imply the drugs themselves were responsible. Im sure with many its just a chicken and egg scenario, the Pain is there, drugs dull the Pain for them but sometimes just enough to not have to deal with the original problem. Sorting out the Pain that started it all can be a seriously crazy puzzle though. What would you like to be doing right now though, other than getting smacked out of your mind?', 'It takes a lot of strength to reach out though. How was your day today?', 'Hard to say really. If mental Illness is caused by a chemical imbalance itd be on par with altered states from other chemicals, (drinking, illicit drugs, etc.), its certainly not a state one should be making life ending decisions in. Now, not all suicides are caused by mental Illness, and Im not certain all mental Illness is caused by chemical imbalance. But, if mental illnesses is a disease is should be treated as one. ', 'Have you talked to a doctor about options for withdrawal meds? Could make it possible to keep working, no detox required for many of them. Its a possibility and Ive known some folks who were in a similar situation and had success that way.', 'It sounds like it must be Tired difficult for you. It seems like youre disappointed with the situation. Do you see any possibilities that could help things settle into a new normal over time?', 'It sounds like theres a husband and family who cares about you, a home, and a fair bit to be grateful for so focusing on that probably can help when youre down. But in periods of upheaval its definitely good to check in with your doctor and friends to see what options and solutions you can come up with, and to take some of the power away from the things you cant create solutions for.', 'Yeah theres definitely a lot to consider there. Treatment isnt confined to pills alone, youre right. But at any rate, theres answers other than suicide. Perhaps suicide itself isnt a just product of faulty signals in the brain, but its also not a solution. I dont blame those overtaken by the urges, but I do wish Suicidal tendencies were treated as the life threatening issues they are and treatment, whatever form that may take, made available with the same standard of care there is for physical diseases. More research needs to be done, but I dont see suicide as a decision, I see it as a symptom of an overarching concern that has many complex components.', 'Ya know, George RR. Martin said the winds of winter would come out before the next TV season, so you should totally stick around.', 'Theres a lot of truth here and its kind of you to voice it publicly in a place where so many feel as though nobody cares. Just be mindful of the Emotional upset load you carry with you, take care of yourself and make sure you dont take on more than you can healthily.', 'I guess nobody can answer that but yourself in the end. Are you by yourself right now? ', 'Im thankful enough to not be struggling at the moment, I lost a friend to suicide and like to listen if folks need to talk.', 'I hear ya. Did anything specifically make that feeling more pronounced to you lately? And youre in school? Thats pretty cool. What are you going to school for?', 'Im sorry to hear that. Its good you said something though. Im pretty Worried about you taking 20 pills though man it sounds gruesome.', 'Theres a thread a few posts down of folks relating their experiences of losing a loved one to suicide Id encourage you to check out.', 'No problem. And no matter what Im excited for you. Even if the unthinkable happens and theres no gf or child in your imminent future, you have health and youth and time on your side right now and where there is life there is hope. This experience will give you the compassion to be there for someone else when they feel like nobody cares. ', 'I feel ya. Its good that youve reached out though. Some folks dont know what to say, Im not sure anyone really does but at least they know. Have you considered looking into treatment options?', 'Do you have any personal philosophy? Faith? For many, thats where theyll derive their motivation. I dont base the value of my life on college or a job. I see myself as part of a greater whole. The part I play is small, but all great systems are built upon smaller parts. And humans can feel, humans have this incredible range of emotion and experience to add to the universe and relate to one another. It ultimately wont matter what you do, focus on who you are. People will remember kindness over cruelty, courage over bravery, compassion over clout. Focus on the small details. Nature doesnt strive, it simply thrives. Find a niche where you can do the same. ', 'Id go to the hospital for a broken leg or an infection. Treatment is treatment and if youre Depression its a step in the right direction. Have you weighed your options there? Treatment isnt compulsory, doctors work alongside you to try and find the best fit. There isnt a cure for Depression, but there are ways to manage it and letting someone know can open you up to the resources available. ', 'Its really important that you both get professional help (if you believe youre a danger to yourself). You cant stop someone from killing themselves, and what youre experiencing sounds like it is Emotional upset blackmail, she may be in Pain, and its good that youre compassionate, but you have to take care of yourself and protect yourself. Things can escalate Tired quickly in situations, when someone uses threats to provoke action on anothers part, they tend to do more and more extreme things until they get what they want. As long as you keep responding to the threat yourself, without getting a professional who can actually help involved youre hurting yourself and it will prolong the time before there is adequate care for the condition. If she threatens suicide, please call either her parents, or yours, and your local crisis hotline. It can not be up to you to determine whether or not shes serious. I really wish you the best, please get yourself out of the abusive situation. Youll be able to resume a relationship if things get better later, but right now its really important for both of your sakes that you tell someone immediately. Id even suggest cutting off contact for a while after getting her in touch with the help she needs. This kind of behavior needs privacy to escalate, when others get involved the chances are better of everyone coming out OK. If you need any help dont hesitate to PM me, Ive gone through situations like this before, and there are no appropriate half measures here. Reassurance only goes so far, and the threats only get worse. Its extremely unlikely that theyd calm down on their own. I dont doubt you care Tired much for one another, but this kind of behavior is destructive for everyone involved and poison to a relationship.', 'Who do you think will find you later then?  You said youre psychotic about your ex? Breakups are shitty, for sure. ', 'I tend not to bring it up. I dont mean to guilt trip or devalue others Pain, but this is my truth. I imagine she thought I didnt care as well, no call, no outreach. But, here I am. Ya know? In Pain those who would try and reach us fade into those dark shadows. It doesnt mean theyre not there.', 'That stuff can certainly suck the color out of the world. Valium is pretty insidious. Starts out being an emergency parachute, eventually it feels like a lifeline. When I came off of it, I felt like I was seeing the world in color for the first time. I understand antidepressants being difficult to figure out, but if youre Depression the doctor might have other options.Oh, and Happy Birthday! Sorry I didnt add that earlier.', 'To be honest if you havent already accrued college debt thats fantastic, youre way ahead of the game. Talk to your folks and your professor to see what youre able to do, and a college advisor. Theyd likely have more options available. Its easy for Stress to obscure options available.', 'Its important for a psych doc to have a lot of information before a diagnosis can be made, and self diagnosis is generally not a great idea, but the resources are all about building good coping skills, and that can benefit anyone.', 'Theres nothing else like it. Its a constant Illness feeling that I could have and should have done something to prevent it. Even when I say I dont feel the guilt, that I know its not my fault its still there. I often wish theyd been open to treatment, gone through some until they found something that worked. Angry that the system in place scares so many away, kills as many as it helps with that. Constant survivors guilt for living with an Illness that claimed them, through life circumstances that destroyed them. Retroactive helplessness when I hear her pleas repeated over and over by new voices with new stories. Hope that in her last moments she didnt regret it, because it was Pain. And I pass the spot her body laid broken every time I go home. Id encourage folks to think better of it. Its been nearly a decade now, Ive grown older than she ever will. I just hope she cant see how foolish she was, ultimately. Things would have been OK if shed held on a bit longer, without question.', 'Youre certainly not ugly but it might be of some use to stop thinking of people as levels of attractiveness. Personality makes a huge difference, and its likely that the people you attract are not a reflection of your physical self, but who you draw to you with your personality. Dont be too hard on yourself and try not to be so hard ",Indicator
user-129,"['Its never worth it to go through with it. But, If you really feel that way you should go do something exciting; something youve always wanted to do. One day you will pass on, but why today? Why not throw caution into the Flatulence/wind and do whatever makes you happy, even if it is short lived. I do hope you reconsider it all together but, if you dont know this. There are people that do care about you and will mourn your decision to end it all, things always get better, it is just how you look at it.', 'It is your decision, but, if you think no one cares you are wrong, because I care and so does everyone else who has posted. Sleep on it, just take your time to reconsider!', 'I can understand that, I have had many of nights planning my death. I never went through with it knowing the Fear of the unknown, god, or no god. I felt an immense amount of guilt with a way out mere inches away from me, knowing how my family would react to my death, or worse finding my body. I could never put them through that. I went to consoling and talked it out with them and my family. It helped me readjust my perspective.', 'If that is how you feel, I feel sorry for you. Maybe we will meet on the other side, god bless.', 'I too am in a similar situation, but you are in a better position then me because you hold a degree. I think you need to make a change in careers and aspire to do what makes you happy. As for a date, maybe you will find one online or in a new job. You could find love in unexpected places but you are not going to find them in your house or in your head. Go with the flow its helped me work though my self-esteem problems; they were always a problem for me.']",Ideation
user-130,"['Thank you for your words its really heartwarming. I usually care about others more than about myself. Ita a part of why I find it so hard to continue for myself. I hope Ill find someone who care about me for myself.', 'I am starting to consider my therapist as a friend. I know she isnt really but she seem to genuinely care about me. I know when the appointments are over I will be loosing her but for now it feel kinda good to have a ""friend"". I am afraid of loosing her but I know its coming. I might try to hit the park a few times this Asthenia take in some suns and try to meet others. I know the parc isnalways full and only a few blocks from my house. I hope it help.', 'Money at least made me feel like I had friends. Now I feel alone. I cant volunteer. I used to but my health wont let me. I cry to often to realy be able to go outside or to make a lot of contacts with others. I tend to hyperventilate when I am too Stress or sad. Thats why I tried to make internet friends. It worked as long as I had money.', 'I guess because I can be discarded by others when I have nothing to offer. I realised that most people use me, so if I have nothing to offer I am suddenly alone and it Pain. Its so Pain to realised that when you have served your use, you no longer have anyone near you. Even with that I know that the next time they ask I will still be there because I want to help.My real life friend only answer when he need a place to stay, a ride or something lile that. I am renowned for not saying no because even if it Pain me to know they are using me, the fact that I can help is important to me.When I get left behind, like I am currently, I am alone. Its so hard realising it and knowing I will be atuck in the same loop over and over and that no one really care about me.']",Ideation
user-131,"['All of what you are describing are short term problems.  Talk to me, I would love to help you where you want me to.', 'Ive already started ', 'No you shouldnt be doing that :/  Is there any way you can get away from the party?  Maybe go talk with someone?  Call a hotline?', 'long distance is a tough thing man, I know first hand. Has she given reasons why she is doubting the relationship or failing to see a future?  What is it that makes her feel that way cause it certainly isnt anything you are doing.  ', 'I have talked to my dad, yeah.. Does nothing. S/o- I dont tell him about my Depression as well, we barely talk or hang so by the time we do I feel better.... maybe I feel better being with him. It just... sucks being Pain. Oh one thing I left off- sexually assaulted this summer. ', 'I also suffer from social Anxiety and understand where you are coming from about not leaving the house.  I only leave my apartment if I am going to work, that is it.  The math thing, I would be more than happy to try and work with you if you are wanting help to learn how to :) Love history and can totally teach you whatever you want to know :)Im not going to lie to you because I dont lie.  Just because you have social Anxiety, struggle with some subjects/concepts, and view yourself as unattractive does not mean you are not still a human being.  You should keep living, never give up.  ', 'Sounds like your friends are assholes.  Youre better than they are.  Make new friends!  You can do it!', 'Just breathe, if you want help studying I would be more than willing to help', 'Tried the therapy thing... didnt help.  I have an appointment with the Dr. mid month this month... ill see... right now I am fighting the urge more than anything to cut', 'Never hurts to try.  Some people need both, some people just need a med, some just need someone to talk to.  It really is hard to tell.  Maybe do like I did and go see your regular Dr. and see what he/she thinks :)', 'I try to.. I just cant sometimes.  I carry a gun everywhere because I am that scared.', 'I am always willing to talk... I also suffer from Depression and just had my med changed.  Feel free to reach out to me', 'I think talking to those you seek help from would be a good start, but I see you said you cant afford it.  Im sorry that your parents are also not supportive, but why not seek your friends help? I went to a few of them and explained to them what is going on and they were willing to listen.  Sometimes being there for said friend that is also not feeling the best, will help you build a stronger friendship where you are each others support.  Can I ask, how do you Pain yourself?  ', 'This isnt about me buddy :)', 'We shall see what it does... Ive been on the current med for 1 year... ', 'Sometimes relationships like this are best fitted for times dedicated to you guys hanging out.  Granted I dont know how often you guys actually hang out, but why not set a date like on Fridays to Skype or have a long phone conversation.  Watch the same movie and talk to each other about it.  ', 'That makes sense honestly. ', 'Well talk to us :) We care and want you to know that!', 'Where to begin.Compared to my brother, my mom blames me for everything... keep in mind- im in college and almost done, he is a felon that does nothing with his life... but I guess where the heart is for her.  My dad honestly just doesnt seem to care to step in and tell her to knock it off.Relationships: I have been with 5 guys total and always get Pain.  Current bf never talks to me, I maybe see him every 2-3 weeks.  He reads my messages but never responds so yet again, proving that dating... I am worthless.School is the only thing I have going for me, but even with a year left... I am just done.Work is the same worthless feeling... I do so much but nothing gets seen or appreciated so I feel worthless. I have bipolar Depression and GAD... I cut myself already.... summed up version I guess.', 'There are other things as well that a friend sent me... I think one of them was drawing on your wrist making it look like you were bleeding, then pouring like warm water that is colored like blood over it to make it look and feel as though you are bleeding. ', 'It does take a lot to stop. With the cutting, I put it in a container, filled it with water and put it in the freezer- that way, if I get the urge to cut, I have to wait for it to thaw out.  ', 'With pills... it really is a try until it works.  I was put on Celexa, worked fine for a bit and then I started cutting.  Then my Dr. put me on a trial med and it worked, but was so expensive that I did my research and found something similar that had a generic. While you may not have the money to seek professional help, does your school offer counseling services to students? If so, start with them.  Just explain that you want to talk and see what they have to say.You are a good person; dont let your parents bring your mood down.  You got this.  You are strong.  I am here to help any way that I can because I know what it is like to not have someone to talk to. ', 'Most run away from it though... and I do talk to my dad... he was the person I asked if I should get on a pill for it or not', 'Be proud you are continuing school, even if it is community college.  You are bettering yourself either way!  Responsibility of adulthood is tough, I had the same feelings you do right now when I graduated college, but it gets better.  Im starting my last year of college, am already in a management role at my work and have been tapped by other managers to succeed an open position higher up in leadership (pending interview), and I love the people I surround myself with. Sure times will seem tough and you will ask yourself why am I doing this or can I do this, but I assure you, you can do anything if you stay determined and positive. :)', 'Ill try.', 'Well in the end you should study what you want to study!  My dad wanted me to be a Dr., I attempted to do nursing school and once I was actually in that program I got so Stress that I resigned.  I went for what I wanted and now I am happy in that aspect- so go for what interests YOU, not THEM. Communicating via on here or on any website isnt wrong or anything.  I think a lot of us dont like to talk to actual people in life (I have bi polar Depression and GAD, so.. .I actually avoid people like the plague with the exception of work and school. Are you currently taking any medications to help?', 'Hey man Im here to listen if you ever want to talk.  There is nothing wrong with taking a medication or talking about what is bothering you in order to function normally. ', 'Would be more than willing to talk to you :)School is certainly a tough thing.  Honestly, I sought help with my Depression and Anxiety from my Dr. because it was getting worse each year.  I think the Stress for success comes from the major itself, can you tell me what it is you are going to school for? Have you considered changing majors to something to see if that makes it better? ', 'I understand :/ I also hate social situations and struggle with making friends.  An example of me is like the kid from Perks of Being a Wall Flower... Im just in the background and if by some chance someone wants to be friends, ok ill try but am hesitant. ', 'PM me and lets get a conversation going! You can tell me about your hobbies, favorite books, movies, music, etc. :)  I know the feeling man-- I get this way to because I am often just shuffled aside and no one really talks to me ', 'Grades arent everything.  I struggled with my grades, mainly because I was more focused on friends and video games.  Once I focused more, studied more etc., I did better.  Do you have distractions in your life that are impacting your schooling?  Have you reached out to a school resource like a learning center or tutor to get help?You are still young and as you said have a ton of potential still so dont give up bud!  You can do whatever you want in life if you set your mind to it.  If you ever want to talk you can certainly PM me and ill talk to you.  ', 'This.  Some of the smartest and well-off people didnt do well in school. ', 'Always willing to listen and help when needed.  ', 'Well I can tell you man that since I started my medication (which treats both my Depression and Anxiety with just one pill), my mood has improved.  Some people do need both.  Have you talked to your Dr. about this before?', 'I have told him about it.  He said he is ok with it and understands the whole Depression thing.  It is tough for me to let people in to where I know I wont get physically/emotionally Pain. The assault was my fault- I was black out drunk and had it coming.  I didnt tell anyone but by parents and maybe my best friend.  I didnt call the police either.  Instead, I went and bought a gun because I am so scared to even leave my house.', 'Sometimes though the breaks are a good thing', 'While your story is no different than what a lot of people, who you are as a human being is still the best thing out there.  You cant stick to the shit parts of your life, try to move on.  VA lines no shock to me that they arent a help given what we see in the news about the VA-- with that said, I would highly recommend trying another hotline that will better assist you man', 'Ive tried that though... Ive tried to force myself into crowds or find a place I feel safe... nothing works.  I have been open with people, but at the same time I look at it as... I work to escape from my problems and go to school as well.  No one wants to date me as a result... My family aside from my dad hates me.... I just dont know. ', 'Always here to listen, just PM me. I was the same way.  I went and talked to my Dr. and she started an anti depressant.  Here is the thing.... you may have to have a higher dose, or a different med.  I had to get my dosage higher and now it is working fine.', 'What makes you worry about meeting up with said friends? Why are you struggling with school?  I dont think suicide is the answer buddy.  I think talking is what is best :)  Grades dont define a person.  You define yourself.  What is it you are specifically afraid to tell your parents?  It seems from what I could guess they already know about the grades and thus blocked all forms of communication.  Talk to me :) Id love to help as I have been down this same road ', 'Well that is a good thing :)  Cutting is a hard habit to break, I used to do it a lot ', 'Basing it off the TL;DR as it is a long post.do you suffer from PTSD perhaps from the abusive father aspect of your life? How long were you and the bf together before breaking up? What are you doing to treat your Depression? Look at the positives: you seem like a Tired, Tired awesome guy given the shit you have been through.  You are going to school, what do you want to be? What are some of your goals in life?  Dont think about killing yourself because that isnt the solution.  ', 'If film is what you enjoy, go for it! :)  The sky is your limit.  When you create a movie, be it Oscar winning or straight-to-DVD film, I want to know the title because I am sure it will be great!', 'Could be you didnt study the right way :) Things change through college so dont give up!  I thought I wouldnt make it after I resigned from Nursing School... but then I changed majors and now I am on my last year. ', 'omg same here', 'Hey man I havent been on in awhile.  How are things going?', 'Though it may be tough if you breakup, focus on school :)  Relationships can be fixed.  As I have experienced this with my boyfriend, well now ex, is the relationship on the rocks because youre busy with school?']",Behavior
user-132,['Dude. Dont do this. You wont be called brave or bold. You will just become the guy who killed himself. A no body. Live through it. Buck up. If I see it on the news. When I die Ill kick your ass in heaven or whever we go.'],Supportive
user-133,"['I agree, the suicide hotline fucking sucks.  Im sorry for your experience, that was all Tired unnecessary and it intervened with your life.  That truly sucks.', 'If I were you I would attempt to visit with her as soon as possible.  ', 'Ive asked for input because I have also experienced this.I have been Depression for as far back as I can remember.  I have called suicide hotline plenty of times and landed myself in the hospital on four separate occasions over wanting to kill myself.  I have seen numerous psychologists, psychiatrists, and counselors and I still have never found any proper support.  A year ago my best friend decided to take 30 of her prescription pills in an attempt to kill herself and she ended up in the ICU for days on end, completely out of consciousness, having thousands of seizures being in the hospital for a week.  After all of this occurred her own family wouldnt even show up to the hospital to show her any sort of support.  In fact, they would call her yelling at her about her suicide attempt and she claims that they were upset that they would have to pay off all of her student loans for her if she were to have died.  They still call her every so often to basically tell her that she needs to help them pay off bills, although she is an adult and has not lived with her parents for the past four years.None of our ""friends"" were Tired supportive through either of our Suicidal ideation.  All a person needs when they feel this way is compassion and understanding, but Im starting to believe that there is absolutely no love left in this world.', 'I am so Tired sorry for your loss and I can only imagine what it must be like.  You can still talk with your dad and let him know how you feel.  His energy is still somewhere out there in the universe and someway your message will be received.  You might even get some sort of response to let you know hes still with you.  But what you need to ultimately do is forgive him for his decision.  It might take time to do so, but it will help you tremendously.  ', 'I am also 22 and have experienced the same feelings, although I reject medication and I have never had a good psychologist or psychiatrist.  You are not wrong to feel the way that you do, but you might want to re-evaluate what the core reasons are for why you do feel that way.  Such examples would be: Were you abused as a child?  Did something traumatic happen to you?  Or is it just your brain chemistry?  Reaching the root of the issue will help first off.I would highly suggest learning more about spirituality, it has helped me tremendously.  Develop your own understanding of life and the universe as a whole.  Start out with learning about philosophy, then science, then maybe learn a bit about metaphysics.  Watch something like the new cosmos series, its beautifully fascinating and it will leave you inspired.  You will probably find that yoga and meditation will help quite a bit.  Also listen to calming music to assist you when you start off learning about these things.  If you have trouble with meditating, see if there is a sensory depravation chamber spa in the area and set up an appointment.  If you continue to stay curious and wanting to gain as much knowledge as you can in this life, I believe that will distract you quite a bit from being depressed.  That is what keeps me going, at least.']",Behavior
user-134,"['Thank you so much for this.', 'I dont know what to say. I dont even know how to feel or if my emotions are justified. I know that my dad has a right to be frustrated with me. After I lost my job, the bills started to pill on and now theyre hovering over my head like a storm cloud.But its not the fact that Ive lost my job and have no room to my own thats bothering me right now. Its the hurtful things he said to me this morning.Now Im too Anxiety to sleep, I feel worse about myself than I have in the past few weeks. The last time my father hugged me or showed any visible/palpable affection towards me was when I graduated high school five years ago. I had to graduate for him to tell me he was proud of me and that he loved me.Most of the time its static apathy or blatant resentment. There is no warmth there. Im always on eggshells around him. Which hurts even worse because I used to be a real daddys girl. We used to be close, when I was a child and things werent so complicated.Things between us fragmented over the years and I can count the amounts of affection Ive had that are the most memorable.High school graduation being the most recent, the one before that was when I had a panic attack in the car when my brothers and my parents were in it. (I was around 15-16 years old) and I said that if my brothers werent in the car I would have crashed it... I was followed around the house by both of my parents while I looked for something to Pain myself. Finally got a hug and an I love you from him, then... It makes me wonder what measures I have to take to get that sort of attention... Ive been sitting here looking at my own bloodshot eyes in the mirror and wondering if I tried to OD if my dad would be there in the hospital when I woke up. It makes me wonder if hed tell me he loved me. Whats worse is that I dont know if I would believe him at this point.I dont want to die.But I dont want to be around right now, if that makes sense...The closest thing to what I want would be a coma... Somewhere in limbo where my brain can shut down for a while and the world could stop turning in my mind for a second...Im scared. Im sad. And I argue with myself over how pathetic it is to fixate myself on one emotion for hours on end instead of doing something about it.But its a lot like being stuck with your back against a wall, bracing yourself for the impact of an oncoming tidal wave. You want to get out, and you know that when it hits you- youre going to have to fight the tide but at this point Im unsure of just how much strength I have left to try and get myself to the surface when it collides...All I can do is cry. I know it will pass but right now Im just terrified and at a loss.']",Behavior
user-135,"['Its also stupid reading all the people who think its stupid. It just confirms it for me in a broad spectrum type of way, that, yeah, its stupid...And?The world is a blank canvas and it literally is what you make it. Thats what that shit is a cliche because it is 100% true. ', 'There are so many reasons why he wouldnt want to let people know. Your mind could go off in so many tangents trying to figure it out, but the most disturbing thing is that youll never know. The thing that should bring peace though is that hell never have to deal with what was bothering him now.', 'Ive grown to accept that Im just an asshole and I take criticisms like water off a ducks back, then just do things the way I would normally do them.Someone confronts me, I apologize and move on. Ive just accepted that I have to bend over backwards sometimes just to kiss someones ass. Thats just the way the world works, man.', 'Jiu Jitsu, listen to Joe Rogans podcast. He goes off about it. Get that Aggression out and if you get good, you walk around so peaceful and nice because you know that at any given moment, you could choke anyone who you want to unconscious. Thats the name of the Jiu Jitsu game. Its a huge ego booster for those that have none. ', 'Maybe consider a job in sales. I dont know, I dont claim to have the answer to end your sorrow, Im sorry. ', 'Bullys can fuck themselves. They cant affect me. Thats my standpoint on it now. I havent been bullied since I stopped playing the victim. I have been degraded by people though, but it didnt get to me. I weighed the value of their opinion. The one who insulted me is going nowhere in their future so that was my instant karma and I felt better.', 'I went to one trial class that my friend gave me coupon for, dude and just from that, I met like 4 awesome, energized, friendly people who treated me like we were bros for months already. That was back when I was Suicidal. I would go back in a second but I cant afford the $140/month fee though...But since then Ive developed this attitude that everything in my world I can control and change in a matter of minutes if I needed to and the past, the past is behind me and never coming back.And girls get hired SO MUCH faster than guys, you dont even know. You dont even need to be attractive. ', 'I have had Suicidal thoughts in the past, and have justified it in my mind. The Suicidal person doesnt feel bad for the people he is hurting. He thinks that maybe now, finally, he will get the attention he has thought he has always deserved in death. I just wanted to clear this up for people who think people who commit suicide are selfish (they may or may not be. My point, is the Suicidal person has it justified in their mind). ', 'Where do you live? Im in California.']",Ideation
user-136,"['I checked myself into a VA hospital for three months last year.  It was awesome.', 'Yeah its quite a bit.  It sounds like a terrible way to go though, I have a friend who tried it and said it sucked.  Im pretty sure it takes quite a while, my friend took an entire bottle of pills, among other things, and then Vomiting blood allover his apartment before falling into a coma, he wasnt found for like half a day, and hes fine now.  ', 'Drowning would be Tired unpleasant.', 'Well now I wish that I hadnt replied here.  How long have you been planning this?', 'Like I said Im no doctor, just giving the best advice I can with the information I have.', 'Are you service connected?  Have you gotten in touch with the homeless vets coordinator in your area?  ', 'Unless you live in a country with radically different laws than the US, debt cant be passed on when you die.  Your creditors have the right to liquidate your assets, but they cant try to collect from family members or next of kin or anything.', 'Okay, I strongly suggest that you find a psychiatrist, you need an expert in mental health not a general practitioner.  What is it that you feel you have to hide?  How old are you?  As for the asshole at school, could you tell me a little more about the situation?', 'Ok, now see all that crap on your floor?  It doesnt belong there.', 'Yeah same here.', 'Im not a doctor but you should be fine.  Drink water.', 'I made a post about it in /r/depression the other day, it may be my next step.', 'Well the *entire* world cant loathe your existence, because I certainly dont. ', 'Well after a couple of failed suicide attempts and a few OWIs I ended up stuck in jail because I didnt have anyone left who would bail me out.  I came off booze and benzos and all my psyche meds at once and started hallucinating in gen pop and got thrown in solitary.  Eventually I got out and I went straight to St. Cloud, MN, where theres a VA hospital that has a big substance abuse and PTSD treatment center, and spent three months in there.', 'The VA has a really good dual diagnosis center in St Cloud, MN.  I went there for substance abuse and PTSD.  I had lost my job and apartment and pretty much everything else so I checked myself in.  I spent the time there doing group therapy, individual therapy, learning different coping techniques, and getting my meds sorted out.  It saved my life, I would be dead by now if I hadnt gone, Im in a much better place than I was a year ago, its like night and day.', 'Im not quite understanding your hiding situation.  Ive got a whole mess of crazy in me, and Ive found that when Im out in the open about it I find people who understand me and are willing to love me as I am.High school sucks man, there isnt any way to sugar coat it.  It does get better though.  Ive found the best way to deal with assholes like that is to ignore them completely.  Dont acknowledge them when they talk, dont look at them, completely fucking shun them like the Amish.  It wont take long for them to get bored and find someone else to torment.  You could also go to the guidance counselor at your school and tell them about it, a lot of schools take bullying Tired Tired seriously these days.Do you care to elaborate more on your mental health issues?  Ive pretty much seen it all.', 'Well Ive been sober for 10 months now, looking back I have no idea how I kept it up for so long.  It started out when I came back from Afghanistan, I couldnt sleep without having night terrors, so I started drinking at taking benzos to sleep every night.  It just kinda spiraled down from there up until I detoxed in solitary confinement in jail, and then spent three months in rehab doing rehab stuff.', 'I guaranty your family would not recover like you think man.', 'Hey J, Im a vet too.  I spent some time in the VA a few months ago for ptsd/substance abuse.  Shits tough man.  Its a good day when I can make myself leave my house.  whats going on?', 'Whoever youre seeing will steer the conversation, you dont really have to worry about it.  The most important thing is to be honest with them, and make sure you find someone who you feel comfortable with.  ', 'Make yourself throw up or go to the ER.  ', 'Have her committed.', 'No need to apologize.  Violence wont solve any of the problems that ineedareason is having, chances are it will make them worse.  Violence is never the answer, inflicting harm to another human being is a terrible thing.', 'Im no doctor, but giving adderall to someone with Anxiety issues seems counter-intuitive.  I think you should really talk to your psychiatrist about the meds youre taking.You dont have to hide who you are or how you feel from anyone, the people who truly matter will accept you as you. ', 'Why are you paying off all your debts if youre just going to kill yourself?', 'make your bed.', 'I know it seems like it will take forever but things really do get better.  Once I was out of the house everything changed.  Dont leave us.', 'Have you gotten in touch with any support groups through the VA?  I go to one and its Tired cathartic.  Yeah its really hard to reach out, all I want to do is stay in bed under the covers all day and shit.Yeah I lost my job a while ago, before I spent the time in the hospital.  Now my doctor is saying I shouldnt work right now.  When did you get out?', 'Tried this; didnt work.', 'I know its hard, the only reason I havent killed myself is because I know how much it would Pain my mom. Its a shitty reason, but its a reason I guess.Edit:  plus dude you gotta take care of Godzilla.', 'Yeah debts cant be inherited there either as long as the person doesnt have any stake in them, like their names isnt on the card or they havent cosigned for a loan or whatever.', 'Violence is not the answer here.', 'Suicide in the family is something that never goes away.  Every holiday, birthday, family gathering is tainted.I dont know man.  The only thing that keeps me going is not wanting to Pain my mom.', 'It can take a really long time, I was pretty much continuously drunk for about two years and it didnt kill me.  Im talking being drunk all day every day of the Asthenia, while working 50 hours a Asthenia and getting about 2 hours of ""sleep"" a night.', 'Well the VA will give you all the psyche shit you could ever need, and for free.  You need to apply for service connection for all of you conditions, that way you can get treatment for them for the rest of your life.  Also they give you money.  But yeah man, go for the medical discharge, from what it sounds like, you should be able to get one.', 'Yeah I totally understand.  Get all those plates/cups off your bedside table.', 'Youre stronger than this.  Feeling this way is normal, when things like this happen its normal to have a period of mourning.  If you ride it out I promise things will get better.', 'I dont think about suicide as much and its harder to get boners.', 'Ive been clean and doing well since spending three months in inpatient two years ago.', 'First of all, its considered polite to note that you have edited a post when you do so.Picking a fight is *absolutely* not a good idea.  I cannot Stress this enough, there is absolutely nothing that it will solve.Correct me if Im wrong, but English doesnt appear to be your first language, Im interest to know where youre from, because I think there is a major cultural difference going on here.  Fighting is definitely not an accepted cultural norm in the US where I live.Boys fighting is most certainly not healthy, the whole ""boys will be boys"" attitude had caused *so* many problems, and its great thing that it is slowly going away.', 'Thanks so much for your response.  Ive been doing a bit of research on it myself and it seems like people are Tired polarized about it.  Its something that he wants to consider because we are running out of other options, medications dont seem to do anything.How did losing that much time affect your life?  Thats what worries me, even though there really isnt that much for me to lose, its kinda all Ive got.  But on the other hand I hate being myself so maybe it would be nice if all of it was wiped away.Did you notice any cognitive effects?  Or did other people notice a difference in you?', 'Fuck yea!  Fuck those mother fuckers!', 'Have you talked to your therapist or psychiatrist about this?  Have you tried other medications?  I used to feel Tired similar to how youre describing and it took a long time for me to find the right combination of medications.  By no means am I happy or anything, but the soul-crushing Feeling hopeless of the human condition seems less soul-crushing these days.May I ask what your PTSD is related to?  And what kinds of therapies youve tried?  Ive been in CBT and CPT, and I know a lot of people who have been through PET.', 'Well alcoholism is pretty much guaranteed to land you behind bars eventually.', 'Well veterans do.  Everybody else is kinda fucked.', 'Well my first advice was to go to the ER, but obviously OP isnt going to do that.', 'Im in the same boat dude.  They got me taking so many fucking pills and shit.  I might do ECT next, that kinda worries me.  I mean I know we signed up for it and shit, but I didnt sign up for *this.*  Im gonna rack out man.', 'Im part of a community where most people have dealt with or are dealing with mental health issues, honestly you may just have shitty unsupportive friends.  The most trying times of your life is when you find out who your real friends are.', 'Ive never heard of someone dying from taking too much gaba.']",Behavior
user-137,"['Hi, following you to this post... Ive been thinking about you since the last time believe it or not, I was wondering how things are going as I didnt feel all that helpful on the last post, so Im glad I found this one.After some time passing, youre posting again, so Im seeing that youre feeling down and Im really sorry to see that. I still think there is hope for you and there can be a positive outcome. I have faith in you, although we have this limited interaction through a website which makes it a bit tricky.This subreddit is by its nature about a drastic action of last resort. Youve posted twice and are now saying it needs to happen soon. Obviously I dont want that to happen. Does what ""I"" want mean anything? Well maybe not right now, or ever! All the same, I want to get through to you and try to help, and for me, what happens to you does matter. What ""I"" would like for you to do, is find a way out, other than the planned way... Youve been analysing the situation *but* , I believe that your judgement right now may only be at say 80%, due to Depression, bad circumstances clouding it etc, my own assessment of my life is often wrong too. Depression can be a chemical thing and its hard to assess when you have it. Your feelings (at least some of them) may be difficult to assess due to chemicals. Im not saying its just chemicals, youve got things going on and I realise that, but I ask you openly and as best I can to find a different solution.So, I want you to try a couple of things. I cant make you, but evidence that I care is that Im writing this and checked up 2 months later on what youre up to. So in return I ask for just a couple of thoughts and actions. You dont really owe *me* this, but you owe yourself this for certain... 1) Think about people in your life (family?) that things arent screwed up with and make contact to see what happens. Its Tired rare that there would be absolutely no one; possible I suppose but super-rare I would expect. When people commit suicide, there are people left behind that care Im sure in 99.9999% of cases, I will be one at least, other people posting here, reading this, the police, the photographer, their families, tons of people that you may not expect. 2) See if you can make a *massive* change/way out other than suicide. Like maybe something that would seem crazy like hitchhiking across your country, then going to another one or two, visiting Africa, honestly the biggest change you can think of, doing charity work or something, a 100% change as youve already worked out that things as they are, are not what is working out for you. You cant fail if the other option was suicide.What do you think? :-/', 'Still here if you need anything (me + others). Have you spoken to anyone else about this?', 'Please dont.I think everyones friends are unreliable, honestly, people tend to be quite unreliable even when they are well meaning. Ive had similar frustrations.If a group of people dont meet up, it doesnt mean that they were trying to avoid you specifically. There are loads of things that could have happened. I doubt they all were like ""ok fuck you, well just all meet secretly"".Im Worried that youre thinking of suicide because of this. Im guessing there might be something else happening too? Do you want to tell us? It might help.I will check back but its just coming up to midnight here, please write back and Ill check if I wake up overnight or first thing.', 'Please go back to her, you need to have a helping hand. Were here to listen but professional help in person is probably going to be better for you (or you can try both). Feel free to write any time to let me know whats happening, Im interested and care.', 'We can talk to you instead on here, if thats any use. Reddit is always available, except during downtime of course :-).Whats been happening? Are you up for talking a bit? We might be able to help, or at least listen to you.', 'Are you still with us? :-/', 'Cool. Thats good.Friends can be ridiculously unreliable, honestly, even when they have the best intentions. I know you want and maybe need them but most people cant give back whats required sometimes. Its just human nature. They wont always be fully tuned in with you unless they know that they annoyed you. They probably have no idea.Try to take it easy at school, see if you can relax a bit and try not to worry. Easy for me to say isnt it, but I think it will help. Maybe you are overthinking things?', 'Hey you two, the offer is still here if those phone lines are still busy or dont exist ok! Not just me, lots of people read this, youre not alone.', 'Maybe the therapist is doing some good at some level, even if theyre just telling you stuff which seems obvious or not helpful. You do need to have someone to talk to, as friends and family can probably only help so much.Losing someone slowly or suddenly, both must be incredibly Pain. In your case you wrote that he would be angry that it was sudden and that you were there when it happened. While theres no way I can guess what he was thinking, I know that although I wouldnt want to put my wife and kids through that, theres also no one else Id rather have to keep me company for that inevitable experience. The terrible (on a personal level) truth for me and my family is that death will come to me too and the better relationship I have with my wife and children, the more Pain it will be. I can only hope that its a long way in the future and we have a lot more fun first. As a Dad/husband, I try my best to make the time with them as good as possible, even the knowledge that it will be Pain in the end. To take away possible Pain from when I do go, it would be best just to slowly withdraw, barely see them and ruin the relationship!Im (quite obviously) not trained in any of this, but when I go, I want my wife and kids to remember the good times (as youre doing with the slideshow presentation in your head). Id be urging them to please not hurt... even though its impossible not to. People say that the Pain never really goes away and I suppose thats normal, youve lost something, but as a Dad, Id want the Pain memories to be overridden eventually by the happy ones and would hope that its possible for that to happen within a reasonable amount of time, which I suppose is the ""grieving"" process :-/. As he was an exceptionally good Dad, that makes the Pain worse, in exchange only for him having had a great time with you and seeing you grow up and have a kiddy of your own - he would have loved every second of it, believe me. :-). Perhaps that was one of his last thoughts, as a Dad, Id be thinking ""well this is shit, no regrets though, lovely daughter, family etc. love them.""', 'Have you managed to get any help so far with these feelings? Maybe if you can get some professional advice (Doctor, counselling etc), this might help you get by without it feeling like a struggle all the time.', 'Hi, thanks for sharing, you can talk to us. There are also help lines it that works better for you, anonymous ones, although this may be fine for now.Reading your post, it sounds like that voice is the thing causing your problems and that possibly without it, things would be better (from what I read). I wonder what it is exactly and if its treatable? The human body is a load of chemicals stuck together, maybe a doctor can give you some medicine and you wont be hearing the voice any more. Id like it personally if you went to get checked out as that might be enough to get things sorted.Can you give that a try please? You could go there now, go to the A&E department honestly, its serious enough, they will help if you tell them whats going on.Anyway, please let us know how things go. There are people here who care and will try to help too.', 'Are things going any better today?', 'Hi, thanks for the details. Im really impressed. Yep you sound like youre at total breaking point but Im not surprised, you sound ridiculously busy and like youve really turned things around. Stopping drugs and getting solid work is excellent, cant fault it. The only thing missing is the reward and clear path to a well deserved lifestyle!Sometimes people post here then feel better later. I hope thats the case with you.From what you wrote, bettering yourself has actually worked, just its fucking hard and just doesnt quite feel worth the hassle considering effort put in. I reckon you need to keep going and that youre nearly there. Youve got us to cheer you on in the lamest way possible ;-)... How cheesy to write that but its true. Keep going please, it will get better. How can I be so sure? Well youve shown great drive and willpower to get to this stage. 1 year is a long time to be working hard on something. Its also a short amount of time in the sense of changing something, if that makes sense...IT jobs can be Tired stressful. Im in IT and the jobs have been Tired Tired good and also Tired Tired Tired bad. The place and colleagues make such a difference. Pay is also really really shit at first but eventually Tired good although it seems impossible to get there. My first job didnt pay enough for me to qualify for tax! Most of the time in IT, you move on the next place and get a pay rise. They tend to reward moving and getting experience of working at different places than promoting within an organisation. So youve got that... If you can just carry on at the place, then switch, that should work in theory... The IT people I see on low wages seem to be the ones who stay at the same place doing the same thing for 5 years+Ok! Well... Ill click send now but hopefully this helped slightly? :-/ My main points are that I hear you, it sounds like youve done well and please dont give up hope, you sound Exhaustion but in control.', 'Its hard to know what to say to that. Im sorry you feel that way. I dont think that anyone could never be loved by anyone in friendship or otherwise, were part of a society and theres all someone. Maybe you can make a trip to see your old friends?', 'No problem I didnt expect an immediate reply, just wanted to check :-).Seeing a counsellor sounds like good progress. They can help you come up with a plan. It is possible sometimes to start a year again, if needed, or if you can just work out what youre going to do and write it down then maybe that will help so you can have a plan and stick to it. For education and maybe also for what you want to change personally I suppose.Im still not sure about the disgustingness! Feeling disgusting and being disgusting are different... I dont think most people call anyone disgusting, it would be a bit mean but when assessing yourself, I suppose its possible to be Tired harsh. If its a weight gain thing then maybe you can draw up a new routine to go along with your studies and just make sure you 100% stick to it? Eating less (but still enough) seems to work easier than doing masses of exercise. They say you cant outrun your fork! I cant anyway :-)So for a routine, like get up, eat a, b or c, study whatever, go for a walk, Internet, eat something, I dont know... Something like that but better... I think living by your own rules gets rid of routine. I put on weight and had no discipline to study when I left home. Its hard but you can do it because you want it. Not that youre not doing it already, I dont know what your routine is.Not sure if thats helpful or just annoying... Good luck!', 'Hi, are you ok today? Do you want to talk about things?', 'Your post title is ""natural selection"". I wonder if youre looking at things a bit too logically?If you want to be totally logical and naturally select yourself out of the pool, you wouldnt need to kill yourself, you would just not reproduce, far safer right... However, I wonder if you maybe have Depression and thats clouding your judgement of what kind of person you are, leading you to think negatively. Sorry to guess, dont have much to go on.You said youre not fit for this world, but I cant help thinking that you are. I wouldnt put many people into that particular category... Have you been feeling like this for a long time?You mentioned a person in your post, so have at least one in the world Im guessing that would be Tired upset. You also have us (although that may not be too much consolation!)Could you tell us how long youve felt like this and maybe some of the things youre feeling please? You dont owe us an explanation of course, but it might help to talk things through and we are up for helping if at all possible.', 'Hi, ok were here with you... Lets see...So obviously I can only go by what you say so this is always guessing to start with so please bear with me. And you can let me know...Moving somewhere for education is a hell of a change, its true, I hope you can find energy for the adjustment, its crazy to begin with then changes drastically as you settle in (for the better). Been there, its hard to start.For the 18 and kissed once thing, thats not unusual, the media like to show everyone having sex with everyone really early but thats just a load of crap. At 18 loads of people are just starting out with relationships, or not, that just isnt covered much. Theres probably someone else just down the corridor in that same situation.You described yourself as revolting and disgusting. Now thats how you feel and I hate to disagree, but its got to be wrong...! I mean, if you feel that way then I can say you dont feel that way, but no one *really* properly fits that description... But I understand that you feel that way. Ive spoken to people before who say ""Im so FAT!"" and arent but cant see it. Or... If you have put on weight, people do lose it. I just wonder how you perceive yourself matches up with how others do. Theres just no way that people will think revolting and disgusting though, I think thats an internal voice and assessment.Are you in your first year? Educational places realise its a tough change. I failed my way through 1st and 2nd year. Resist after resit, scraping through, taking easier options etc. The teaching staff are pretty helpful, not sure if youve asked them for help yet but its worth considering.Erm... Well, Ill press send... Please let us know how youre doing. You sound quite hard on yourself and I think youve got a lot going for you and its fixable stuff. Sounds like a tough period but were here to talk to you at the Tired least, as well as other help obviously. What do you think? Can you let us know more?', 'How are you feeling today? Better than before I hope. Can we help you go through things?', 'Sport doesnt do it for me either, but it works for some and is definitely not a bad thing, so thats cool that you go the gym already. At least you wont have physical health adding to your worries and it keeps you in a good routine.Im sure people do like you by the way, otherwise they wouldnt talk to you when youre out with your dog. If they didnt like you theyd walk away *every* time. Dont worry if that happens though once in a while, they may be needing alone time, not have seen you or something.I bet you could be friends with the older people actually and that could be good in more than one way. Are they really quite old? I think that some old people are massively lonely sometimes if their children have grown up and moved away etc or theyve lost a partner. Spending time with the old guys/girls could be worth a shot and although maybe not what youre looking for, old people do have younger kids in their families, so you could meet an old person, then get invited round and meet younger people in the end (yes I know how bad this sounds). Not that old people arent good enough... I know this is a bit of a complicated plan, but it could work really well. Old people may have gone through all sorts of stuff in their lives so may be really understanding and a real support for you. Having said that Ive met some really self-righteous #@$%$^$ who are old :-D. To start that though, you could just ask if theyve got kids I suppose. Like asking ""is there anyone else for [dog] to play with at home?"" then going from there.By the way, this might be quite annoying that Im trying to ""fix"" this, but if it helps then I want to try suggesting stuff... Some plans may be really shitty but if one works out then its worth trying.If you look in Google for ""military wives groups"" there are some out there you could dtry. Watch out for scam sites though - Internet... There are definitely people in the same situation, there just have to be due to the nature of the military and people being working away.Birthdays, yeah... I think that out of my (few) friends, not a single one knows when my birthday is unless Facebook tells them, and I took my date off that recently. As a guy and a typical sexist too it seems, I dont know theirs either and dont care :-) haha. Literally lol, thats the way for us guys. Girls are different though (in my sexist mind) and I can definitely understand you being upset. Like you said, I suppose its a reminder. Let this be the first/last year though, next year will be sorted out, Im totally sure you can do this and you can talk to people on here for as long as you like. You said youre not ""best"", smart, talented, but I think thats just not true. You feel that way now but perhaps its because you may be ill to be honest, with Depression and loneliness (?), so it could be making you feel that way when youre really not. Watch out for that one, its fucking sneaky.Please let us know how things go.', 'Hi, first of all, happy birthday from me and probably everyone who read your message!Im sorry youre going through this, it sounds really really tough and I hope things improve really soon.Your boyfriend would be devastated if you did anything and once the army stuff gets a bit less busy, I think you could tell him how you feel once and for all, as its Tired important that he understands (you said he didnt, he must be made to!). If youre posting here, the situation is bad enough that he must be made to understand.Also I was thinking, are there any other army girlfriends in your area? I wonder if theres some kind of group? They might be a bit more understanding and helpful than the friends you described were.Facebook is totally unrealistic. People only post good stuff on there so it shows a completely fake one-sided lifestyle which is really hard to compare yourself to. Loads of people have shit lonely birthdays. Not that its right. I spend mine with my wife and kids (now that I have them), no one else is reliable  enough! I remember my 17th well, youd think it would be with friends? Nah, alone! Things change though and literally the next year was ok again.Do you do any sport? They say thats good for Depression and it might find you some nicer friends than the ones you mentioned?Not sure if that helps you... Will you write back with a few more of your thoughts?', 'I think this can be alright... Ill be mostly guessing things here, but please bear with me. Then you can correct me ok! :-)First of all, it might be worth going to see a doctor. You mentioned the 20s blues, but there are some years left to go there, some people dont realise that they have Depression, taking quite a few years to realise whats going on. It would be quite annoying to struggle through some more years suffering when you could get help (if thats what is needed). Something to consider anyway.Ive been 22 and remember it well! Blues? Yep. Worry? Check! Actually quite a tricky time even if things are going well. 22 can be the start of major changes, maybe a job that pays slightly better, maybe meeting someone, taking up a new hobby (where you can meet someone). Youve got loads of options at 22. Even travelling if you feel like you need a really major change. Some people are studying, there was a feeling of frustration for me at that point as I wanted to break free and go travelling but felt I couldnt. Of course I could have actually, it was just me subconsciously deciding my priorities.Anyway, a few random points there based on me, not you, but I wonder if our situations are/were that different. If anything, I can guarantee that I really was 22 so weve got that...Corrections welcomed please, this is just to talk really... Can you tell me some stuff, whats going on with you etc? Stresses and worries etc? Therell be someone on here whos made it through something similar successfully probably. Or if not, we can at least listen to you and try to get it.', 'How are you feeling today?', 'Lots of peoples lives change dramatically at around 18 (or later obviously) but also its a time which can be Tired frustrating as you can feel like things may not work out. The ""things"" which you may be aiming to have in your life (partner, car, house, money, kids, job, whatever it is...), take a while to accumulate! At 18 youve barely had a chance to get them assuming you just finished school a couple of years ago at most then unfortunately took a job which you didnt enjoy. Within a year or two, or three, your life is likely to be completely different.Youre right that youve got a lot to live for. You seem like a logical thinker, thats attractive to employers so theres a chance to have a non-shitty job with nice people at some point. Many people meet their partners at work and a nice job can get you friends as well. Ive got a friend who was really depressed, changed job, met his now-wife, friends etc, it does happen. Also please remember that although some crazy stuff is reported on the news, its not all bad out there, the media just like to focus on whats ""interesting"" and puppies being rescued just doesnt make the cut. Youve also got a chance to do good things as well to improve the world, but please look after yourself first!Does any of that help or apply to you? :-S. Os gwelwch yn dda gadewch i mi wybod :-) - in English though perhaps, Google translate can only do so much!', 'This sounds really tough, Im so sorry for your loss. He sounds like a great guy and I can see why you would be grieving like this.Your child, husband and mother are there for you I suppose, but its just not something that everyone would properly understand or be able to talk about for a long time. The therapist being expensive shouldnt come into it assuming you can afford it. You are worth the cost, if it helps and they should be professionally trained to talk about this.I cant offer much useful advice as I dont have the experience, but theres a /r/grieving reddit which may have some helpful people who can understand and help you better. Not to just send you off packing to there of course...I cant say ""get well soon"" etc, I dont think it works that way. All the same, Im thinking of you and sending positivity and Im sure anyone reading your post will be too, even if they dont all post replies.']",Indicator
user-138,"['Huh? Im sorry, I didnt mean to imply it was easy.', 'Well, theres one way it trips you up right there. It makes you ""not show up"", right?', 'Just responding to let you know am listening. I honestly dont know where to begin looking, though.', 'Uh... death is the cessation of experience, and the cessation of an experiencer. Theres no one there to experience any euphoria.', 'Wait... whats going on? Since you posted here, talk to us?', 'Hey, just saw this now. Feel free to PM me or respond here (or if you want over IM or email or whatever, lemme know)', 'And please dont give up.', 'Sorry for delay, and thats one possibility. Another is to try to reapply for the next round. (did any of them explain why they rejected your applications?)', 'Hey, heres one idea: http://lesswrong.com/lw/43m/optimal_employment/(its long because it goes through a bit of math justifying the idea that it may be a better option than it sounds at first). Its probably moving a bit farther than you originally intended but..As far as getting there, maybe we can at least help you afford to get there?', 'Well, talk about it anyways? I am Worried.', 'Thanks. And either way, Im here whenever you want to talk.> In terms of the exam questions - I went to our school administrator that is supposed to help with study habits, exam review etc, and she told me I need to think the way that the people that write the boards think, that I have to change the way I do things to get the right answer.Im not sure I understand. If the answers you give are correct, whats the issue? (How would they even know whats going on inside your head?)> You may say its ok to cry and to feel, but as a doctor I cant do any of that. I cant do any of that as a med school student with anyone from my class.What do you mean? I mean, obviously if youre a doctor you cant let yourself break down in the middle of a medical procedure youre doing or such, but that doesnt mean youre never allowed to feel or anything like that.Why no car, btw? And is there any public transport you can use?And again, for what its worth, Im listening, so you can talk with me whenever', 'Go to concerts as an audience member, I meant. The way I understood what you said about ""not being Tired good, just for fun"" was that you werent ready to play for the public. Or did I misunderstand what you meant about how the shows work?Hrm... drummer living far away is a problem. Logistics always causes trouble for things. Annoying.Oh, in general, anything else youre interested in? What do you like to, say, read? (well read about, think about, would like at some point potentially to do if possible, or whatever)> I didnt mean to shoot down all your ideas btw :/No worries.', 'Means hes one of the people that started SW way back when.', '(I ought to go to sleep, so will reply more tomorrow, but please do elaborate, Im listening (well, will read your replies and stuff))> and being on the OFFENSIVE about her current problems//disabilities because of it.Huh? Maybe just because Im Tired, but not quite understanding. Shes on the offensive how?As far as the child leashes, yeah, ugh.', 'Hey there, I just wanted to let you know I was reading all this (both parts.)I want to take a bit of time to think through, digest all of it, and so on before replying, because theres a lot, but I didnt want you to think I was just disappearing or ending the conversation or anything. Just will take a bit of time for me to think through and reply to all of this.Ill right away say that what youve described to me doesnt strike me as sociopathy. (I admit, Im no expert, but, at least to me, doesnt seem that way.)I also wanted to say that it might be good to stand up for yourself, at least enough for you to realize that you dont owe him continued interaction, and definitely not going along with him to church or whatever. He was Tired bad to you, and you, at the Tired least, deserve to ask yourself whats best for you, to remind yourself that your own well being matters too.(This is just a Sharp Pain short reply, and later or tomorrow Ill try to give a much larger reply to everything you wrote once Ive properly digested it.)', 'Tis okay. You werent really anyways. Just, well, youve been Stress and a Depression and stuff. Dun worry about it. Sorry I didnt answer you before, was afk.', 'Any idea when, approximately?And, dumb thought... maybe the too Tired/worn out is more literal than the sense in which you intended it? ie, maybe need to work on getting to sleep earlier, etc etc? (just an idea, dunno.)And its okay, you dont have to be sorry for not knowing. Im just asking since am trying to understand more.And for what its worth, I am here.', 'Im glad youre doing better! :) \\*hugs just because\\* :)I can certainly understand that Fear. But yeah, Im really glad youre doing better.', 'Hey, talk to us?', 'Perhaps its less inevitable than you think. Perhaps tomorrow you will have the courage to talk to family. Or perhaps we will resume our conversation tomorrow, and perhaps that will help you. So please, dont give up on life, okay?For now though, I need sleep (am approaching keyboard face mode), and I really hope to continue talking with you tomorrow though. I suggest you get to bed and get some sleep too.', 'Sorry for delayed reply. And its hardly causing a scene if theres an actual issue. Just mention it first thing, mention the thoughts, etc...Just looked at your reply to calculator, and seems to me that its still just thoughts. Even if you were using those for fantasizing, I wouldnt think it any reason to feel _guilty_, and certainly no reason to hate yourself.If the thoughts really bother you, talk a bit more to your psych about it, but dont go hating yourself or anything over it. And if this was triggered by going off the meds, maybe you should be back on the meds then? (Or maybe after a bit of your body ""getting used"" to being off the meds, itll stabilize and wont keep happening?)', 'This must be a usage of ""cut off communications"" that is altogether new to me. :P but yeah, erf. Did you specifically go there to visit her or happened to be going to that area for some other reason?', 'Therere other people responding/talking with you, right?And Id rather you were, in fact, here this time tomorrow, etc...As I said, Im here if you want to talk.', 'Well, if he actually left you over that, ugh.If the data supports it, the data supports it. Unless I misunderstand, perhaps he was being a jerk and looking for an excuse.If it turns out youre wrong.. that too is part of science, come up with theory, test, if turns out false, then oh well and keep looking/trying to learn.', 'Hey, not sure what to suggest. Maybe different meds are needed?\\*offers a hug\\* as I said, not sure what else to suggest, but I am listening.', 'Thanks. :)If you want, let me know when you get back how it went? (make sure your therapist knows about your lack of sleep, btw). And try to get some sleep tonight.And youre welcome, thank you for saying that. ^_^', '\\*hugs back\\* okay, I await your PM. And youre welcome again.And again, please do reconsider. (If there is anything else I can do to help, anything that might help you perhaps cope, perhaps manage to choose to live instead, please tell me. Ill continue to be here, so if you do decide to live, but still need someone to talk to, Ill certainly be willing to continue to talk with you.)', 'Have you started seeing the specialist, or do you mean thats someone you will be seeing later?Might be worthwhile anyways to give it a tryAnd are you able to articulate why you dont want to live? do you know why?(and please dont give up hope)', 'Then maybe make it easier on yourself. Go to your psych and say something to the effect of ""Im finding it difficult to say what I need to say. But Ive said it elsewhere. Im Tonormandie on Reddit, specifically, look at these posts and comments"" or something like that.', 'eLance/Rent-a-coder arent the same thing as a starup though. Its more like working as a contract worker, right? Actually, maybe go to your PO and ask about those directly, show those to your PO and see if its okay?(Sorry, I dont really know anything about the rules regarding this)Also, \\*blinks\\* how do you figure 25 is ancient?', 'Did you mean to reply to me or to the OP?', 'Oh, okay. Then just go.', 'Why is it that everything is bothering you?', 'You mean everything just feels like its all just too much?', 'Whats Kickstarter? And good luck. What sort of stuff happened in AU?And yeah, you definitely need to get out of that environment.', 'Hey, Ive been wondering how you were doing. \\*offers a hug\\*And dont worry about pushing me away. Email me, etc...Im listening. If I may suggest, get back into the habit of washing yourself, etc... not for the sake of any social rules or such, but because it might help _you_ feel better.I imagine the folding the bed sheets and stuff more help to give structure, to give specific things to do, etc.. Might be worth it.As far as people you already know who are acquaintances, well since you already know them, that might be a good start, to try to hang out with them?Either way, Im here and listening.', 'Erf. And, stupid idea maybe, but have you tried taking _short_ walks during the day? ie, start with just, I dunno, ten minutes out, then maybe a bit more the next day, etc?As far as foods, therere plenty of things that you dont have to fry/using a frying pan for. Not sure what else to suggest, but am here and listening.', 'Ouch, and yeah, I can easily imagine that being frustrating.(oh, and good that youre less panicked and stuff now.)', 'Aww. Why would I Pain or scare you?and why do you think its too late? \\*hugs again\\* If alone, maybe call someone?(oh, sorry for slow replies, will only be on here sporadically today)', '\\*nods\\* I meant if it was an issue with understanding, maybe I could help. Other than that, try to get better. (and if _STILL_ stick, please finally go to doctor?)And oof. Am trying to think of any way to help.Either way, am here.', 'Unless youre a magician, in which case youre in the hoodini.Hey, just letting you know, its getting kinda late here, so if Im slow to reply, its due to having gone to bed. But will continue to reply tomorrow.', '\\*offers a hug\\* If you take a step back, then that just means you need to take a step forward again. Please avoid harming yourself further, and either way, I dont think youve failed.Please live.', 'Well, first, make it clear to yourself that your intention is to live.Maybe see if you can get on unemployment or something? As far as not remembering what sort of work you did before... do you have any records at home that may help you figure that out/remember it?As far as tax forms... isnt tax stuff public record? So couldnt you in theory go and just get another copy of it?', 'She did not ""liberate herself"". She has ceased to exist. That which made her her is no more. Her mind is lost, scattered to entropy. You can say it was her choice, but then it is also emsy666s choice to object to it.EDIT: And yes, it really is a tragedy when someone is lost, either by their own hand or by another means. If nothing else, then when by their own hand, it is a tragedy that they were in such Pain, such suffering, that they felt that was the only solution.', 'Ugh as far as your blood sugar bouncing and the rest. (if it remains unstable, you need to go to doc? (asking, since I dont really know much of anything about how this sort of thing works))I dont like that you started blacking out and stuff...Make sure to get plenty of rest and get better Sharp Pain. And cool as far as the pic! (if you want, lemme see it too?)', 'Hey, maybe you need a change in your meds then, or something?Im not sure what else to say right now, but please dont give up. Just an idea, but maybe try not identifying with the Depression? I mean, treat it as something part of your brain is doing _to_ you? Dont say ""I am Depression"" but rather ""Depression is happening"" or such?(to yourself that is. Dunno how much it will help, but maybe it will help a bit to at least not identify with the feeling, as such?)sorry if this seems a bit incoherent, is late here. Might be going to sleep soon, but wanted to at least let you know that someones reading this.', 'Whats been causing the ""dips""? ie, specific things going on thatre upsetting you, or just feelings of Depression not really caused by outside situations as such?', 'Good that youre going to call the hotline, but please dont hang yourself. Please, I really hope you choose to live.Am listening too, but yes, please call then. And let us know how it went and how youre doing. \\*offers a hug\\*', 'This may be a dumb question, but any chance you could move somewhere else instead?Im here and listening either way.', 'Hardly a failure merely for having nasty circumstances happen to you. Think of it this way: Your kids care about you, right? Theyd want to help. You should let them know. I think theyd rather help you deal with that then lose you.As far as the commute... what about possibility of moving closer? (or, alternately, is there decent mass transit there so you dont have to drive yourself?)', 'Ooof. Poke the financial aid office and see if you can get more given that you lack the money?', 'Sorry, ""I think you should...""s probably arent as helpful right now, dunno. Just give it a bit of time first, and not in a ""I will wait x time, planning to kill myself"" but ""I will take some time, see how I feel, etc...""(sorry if this perhaps sounds a bit incoherent, am kinda Tired)', 'If it makes you feel like a hypocrite, then maybe... dont be one. Instead, please live?Imagine the advice that you yourself are giving now is being given by someone else to you?', '\\*nods\\* ah and oof. Try to avoid doing that?', '> Lots of things, dont have the energy to explain it all sorry.Well, whenever you want to tell me, Im listening. (or am listening to anything else you may want to say, for that matter.)> Mm, just makes it feel hopeless to keep trying.Ooof. :( I know the feeling. Is a sucky feeling. But either way, am here, and I do think its worthwhile and not hopeless.', 'As I said now in another comment... I think part of the issue may be that you keep telling yourself that.', ':)One way Ive seen it put/generalized was something along the lines of this:""I desire to live at least one more day. For any amount of days, I desire to live at least one more day than that. By the principle of mathematical induction on the positive integers, I desire to be immortal."" :)(Hrm..., maybe instead view it as productive procrastination? we want to put off ""being late"", as it were. :))', 'I believe theres one on Afternet', 'Well, start at whichever part comes to mind first, I guess? Am listening.\\*offers a hug again\\* Im glad youre holding on for now.', 'Except we talked about that. Some people may, I dunno. But you also seem to too quickly assume people hate you... even people that like you.', 'added (I think.)', '> No, itd cause massive arguments and not achieve anything. It would help if he approached relationships rationally but he does not, unfortunately.What sort of arguments? ie, if you just showed it to him, asked him to read and basically said ""heres how stuff looks to me/how Ive been feeling"" or otherwise wrote it out for him?(also, remember... if hes being a jerk, thats him, not a reflection of you.)Other than that... maybe try posting in [r/relationships](http://www.reddit.com/r/relationships) too and describe the situation between the two of you. Maybe someone there would have some additional insight.As far as Anxiety and alone... youre not alone, you have friends. You have that friend you told me about, Im here and listening, etc...', 'Actually, may just get to bed early tonight myself, so am here for now though.What happened and hows he doing? You talked to him in person?', 'Hey, just saw this now. You want to talk about your life? Im listening.Whatre your interests anyways?', 'Youre welcome.And yeah, youre right, both sides need to work to maintain it. I hope it does work out though.And yeah, hopefully youll get your violin soon. (do you have a shipping/tracking number thing for it?) And wanting encouragement doesnt sound stupid to me.', 'An outside perspective? Someone that knows something about psych meds and might, if needed, be able to prescribe something that may help? (if its a brain chemistry issue), etc?I do understand the feeling about wanting to deal with it yourself, but...', '\\*nods\\* Id just say that perhaps you shouldnt overly underrate your chances of meeting someone like that again.So seriously, please dont give up on life, okay?', 'Damn... I honestly dont know what to say except that Im here and listening.', 'I know some of the feeling. As I said, a little bit at a time, dont think too much about how much there is left to do.As far as your chest being tight/having difficulty breathing all Asthenia... do me a favor and see a doctor about that. (Your regular doc might send you to a pulmonary doc or such if needed, dunno.)Might be panic, (have you had panic/Anxiety attacks before?)And you said you had a lot go on this Asthenia. What happened this Asthenia?', 'Well, you said youre Tired alot, so..As far 1890-1960s America, you mean you like stories from that time period or stories _about_ that time period?', 'Could be just difficulty getting stuff done. But yeah, if you read that article, then maybe try saying ""okay, Im not going to do that"" and make a point of not doing so?Either way, Im listening.(and try maybe letting your friends know how youve been feeling?)', '\\*nods\\* okay.Either way, please stick around? And as I said, if you want my email address or phone number or otherwise want to talk, either here or privately, just lemme know, okay?', 'Well... first, what sorts of things would interest you. If youre bored, do you know why? What sorts of things would you find potentially interesting/nonboring?', 'Well, I really hope he decides to stick around..,', 'Wish I knew how to prove it. But, well, think of it this way: If I didnt care, would I be talking with you right now?', 'Please stick around after?Also, what do you mean by ""(were a bit late in syndicationm just fyi)""?If you want to talk privately or whatever, pm me, if you prefer email or phone or whatever, lemme know. Just please stick around, please dont kill yourself, ok?', 'Why do you think no one notices you?And, well, for one thing, knowing more about you might give me a better understanding of whats going on. Id like to know more.As I said, Im listening.', 'But if they really can help you, perhaps best to actually let them help you?And as I said, am here.', '> Mm...okies. Most people are not Tired understanding however.That doesnt mean you deserve it. It just means theyre not Tired understanding.> Thank you :) I applied for a job today which is...well, its a Tired simple job, just walking dogs and caring for peoples pets whilst they are on holiday or unwell etc, but it would be some money, and Id get to spend the whole day with dogs rather than people which suits me pretty well heh. So I hope I get it.Cool, and good luck! :)> Sorry...long explanation...I dont like to mention this stuff out loud, at all, so although my boyfriend is aware of what happened to me and he knew I was upset by the scene in the movie I couldnt really tell him about it, and I dont have any way of...talking about why it bothered me, I guess.Nothing to be sorry for. Im listening. (well, reading) I havent read the book or seen the movie, but I can half guess at least what sort of things you might mean. And I am listening anytime.> The painting of the car. I need to talk to him about it anyway...I wanted to put it on my website but I did make it for him, technically, and it is his now, so I feel like I should have his permission before displaying it there. I guess I will ask him again if he liked it.Yeah, thats the one I was thinking of. As I said, I thought it was nice.> Sorry if I talk way too much...I realised it has been several months since I first posted here and youve talked to me pretty much the whole time...thank you for that, its really kind of you. It is ok if you are Tired of me heh :p I dont want to waste your time with my crap.Again, nothing to be sorry for. And no, not Tired of you, dont worry. And youre not wasting my time, really!Actually, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to PM me your email address so we can keep talking even if reddit misbehaves (or, say, during the upcoming sopa/pipa reddit Blackout.)', 'No prob, and let us know how stuff goes, okay?', 'As I said, good that youre going to be getting help.Oooof that youre feeling so bad though. (did anything recent trigger it getting this bad? (ie, was the driving test recent, or did I misunderstand?))', 'Well, I guess it depends on the sort of work, right? but some places/jobs even suggest 4 day work weeks, I think. In other cases, the work might be rather more varied than that. So, dont give up on life yet..Actually, if its okay to ask, what kinds of things are you interested in? What do you find interesting to read about, learn, do, etc etc?', 'Thank you too. ^\\_^', 'Just so I understand, the entirety of the ""dirt"" is that you swore once?Realistically, if you go to teacher and show this person has been deliberately harassing and stalking you, practically trying to push you into being Suicidal, and that person responds by telling the teacher, ""oh yeah? well... he swore once and didnt admit to it"", itd be _you_ thats in trouble?If thats the situation, then Id say go straight to trying to take legal measures against this person. At least, thatd be my suggestion, though IANAL.(Or, if nothing else, at least talk with your parents.)', 'Stick around. Maybe instead of thinking in terms of ""every time I think Im doing better, something like this happens"", think in terms of ""whats the trend for the time between events like this?""If it seems to, on average, increase, then you are doing better.', 'Hey, just saw this now... Talk to me?', 'But while you were trying, life was, well, yeah...Id suggest keep trying. I dont think you failed, I think its a work in progress.And again, maybe try doing something thats fun for you. Some physical activity might be good.', 'Ow. nasty. Not sure what to tell you other than ""ow ow ow"".', 'Good that youe going to take the courses. I hope that goes well for you.', 'Ah, there you are, so didnt delete account, just post?And Id suggest first calling your local crisis hotline, and/or going to hospital and simply telling them your financial situation (or go to local social services office type thing and see what they say)', 'How is your life a horrible mess? What you listed certainly is _not_ any reason to kill yourself, IMHO.Theyre things you need to work on, though. As far as ""stupid decisions"", well, you and the entirety of humanity. Work on improving that, though.', 'I mean, you said you dont know how to keep living. So once youre feeling a bit better, (and again, please call 911), we can talk and see if we can figure out ideas that might help you, okay?', 'Hey, just wondering how you yourself are doing?', 'google maps estimates, for example, that Stirling, IL to Wheeling, IL is about 26 miles. (I didnt put in exact locations, just the cities.)So... not sure. Maybe Im making some mistake, maybe those cities are large enough that depending on where you live in Stirling and where the con is in Wheeling (in the case of Capricon, for instance), could be much farther.But yeah, youd know the area better, of course. I was just doing Sharp Pain searches/estimates of distances to see what I could find.', 'Depends on the meds. Maybe some of the Asthenia/lower doses ones might be good, (Say, some of the over the counter herbal stuff (the ones that work, that is)) or maybe something else.And yeah, as far as messiness and so on, I know what thats like', 'Just saw this now. Whats going on, talk to us? At least get a good nights sleep. If youve been up that much, that would affect you. Go get a good nights sleep.', 'Dont care in what sense? And I understand the feeling about wasting talent, but right now you can work on stuff.Also, just sent you a PM', 'I didnt say youd find a clone of her, I said that its reasonable that youd find someone _different_ but still _just as good_.As far as the edit, I meant along the lines of ""Dont quit on life... its not as if you have anything better to do than, well, live.""', 'http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/7sw8v/so_the_pills_are_right_here_on_my_desk/c07bay0What hes doing after is what concerns me. I really hope he decides to stick around...', '> I dont think I said that...I dont really want to see a therapist. Only reason that it could potentially be useful is to put some clear definition to what my stupid brains doing, but I have not found mental health professionals to be particularly helpful in the past, and dont really want to see them.Ah, maybe misremembered, then. And ooof. Howve they been unhelpful? Maybe try again and find different ones, hopefully more competent?> I havent been referred to a new Diabetes mellitus centre yet, but yeah, hopefully they will be good doctors.\\*nods\\* Ask your new GP to refer you to one?> I dont think there are specific things, but I dont know...finding it hard to think properly, which I guess feels kind of distressing all by itself.\\*nods\\* I think I may understand the feeling.> I guess...I feel Stress about being a bit behind on uni work, and about having to go back to London tomorrow, and be with people all day tomorrow. I feel mentally Tired from today as it is...so...yeah.Awww. Wait, you mean be with people when you get back to London, or be with people where you are now? And I know what you mean about getting behind. I guess try to just work on it some, step by step.But first maybe try to get a good nights sleep tonight.> And frustrated...cause...Im just useless. I cant do all the things Im expected to do Tired well and people dont give me a break about it. Its so Exhaustion trying to get things right and I dont manage to get it all right even when Im trying hard. I wish I wasnt expected to try to behave like people want me to. I dont want to, and I just get it wrong anyway. Its so bloody tiring. And I end up feeling like a stupid idiot and feeling angry. At least here, and with my friend, I dont have to try so hard, unlike in real life.How do you figure youre useless? Other than trouble finding work (which sounds largely like issues with the job market rather than anything particularly about you) what things are you having trouble with that people expect you to do? And ooof that people give you a hard time over it. :(Remember though, you know youre not stupid or anything like that, youve seen you can do well.(oh, sorry if I sound a bit out of it. Am a bit Illness)', 'Ah and oof. Well, as I said, maybe they could help you find work at least?', 'Hey, howre you feeling now?And youre not a stupid freak. Weird can be good.Please dont give up on life. As I said, not sure what to say, but I am listening.', 'Then... perhaps initially dont even reveal that its making you Suicidal, just explain that this stuff is going on with you, and that you need some help?Besides, you and he are different people. Maybe in other ways youre stronger.(Also, did he have some help/support overcoming it? Nothing wrong with you also asking for some help and support, even if your situations are different.)', 'Any chance it was just net misbehaving, so either he saw you leave first, or his bye didnt get through or something like that? (Ive been facing some issues like that, and have in the past repeatedly seen examples of stuff that, well, seems like some personal thing really turning out to be net misbehaving)But yeah, I think I can understand why itd Pain. I know what you mean.Also, ""ZedEx"" is cute. :)And youre not stupid.', 'The magic words you want to do searches on is ""sliding scale"" (which basically means ""payment will be adjusted based on what you can afford"")Try to find some psychiatrists or therapists that offer sliding scale treatment.And Common cold office? Just to verify, do you mean that figuratively or literally?', '\\*hugs\\* I can understand you might not want people to see you the way youre feeling, but it might still be good for you. But maybe get cleaned up a bit, get some real food into you, maybe get some sleep. (Do you think if you went to bed at, say, 3am and let yourself wake up late, youd be able to have a good nights sleep?)And yeah, I know what thats like about needed to know someones there. I think the scared alone thing might be a type of loneliness though. At least, so it seems to me, though I might be wrong.', 'Hey, you there?', 'What should I do? Seriously... I want to help, but I honestly dont know what to do, what to look for, what to say.dammit... Anyone know how to find him?', 'Huh? why not?', 'Hey, Im not sure what to suggest yet, just letting you know Im here and listening, and suggesting not to lose hope.If you are able to, upon consideration, spot that some of your behaviors make you bad/mean, then you could perhaps learn to change those?', 'Thought you yourself had told me so.', 'Ugh. Im not sure what to say, but I am here and listening. Well certainly be here for the Asthenia.', 'Well, if youre up for talking about it, how do those make things worse?And yeah, keep practicing by chatting here, as a start, if that helps.', 'Aww. Either way, I am here and I care. Not sure right now what to say, but am here.', 'Well, even if theyre different, they should still accept that you are how you are. Maybe they might want to help, but to simply give you a hard time about it and stuff is a whole other thing.Anyways, howre you today?', '\\*nods\\* I guess that kind of makes sense, but as you noted, its only been a Asthenia now, so maybe snuggling up with a good book or such would be enough to help you relax and fall asleep once you get used to it?And what sorts of stuff you like to read? (just curious)', 'Any idea what changed? And is there any stuff in specific on your mind, or is it ""just"" (yes, I know ""just"" is the wrong word, really, but not sure what other word to use) the feeling of Depression without any specific things youre Depression about?', 'no prob.', 'Well then, while it wont solve everything, you right now know part of the problem. So dont panic, just take a normal course load next semester.Is there other stuff currently on your mind too, incidentally?', 'Hey, Im not sure what to say yet, but wanted you to know I read this and am listening.\\*offers a hug\\*Do you think there might be some way for you to arrange to see your daughter even given that you and your girlfriend are taking a pause in your relationship?Im not sure what else to say, but am listening.', 'Okie. Will looksey in a moment.And good that youre good at dealing with the sugar spike and such.(But yeah, if youre continuing to feel icky, maybe get to doc)', 'Im sorry it hurts so much. :(Please dont give up.I stand by my offer if you want to give me the relevant contact info, incidentally.', 'Good. (Am listening if you still need to talk, though). Am glad youre doing better, and no prob.', 'The fact that we are nothing more that a particular regularity in physics does not make us not-special. The mere fact that were made of perfectly ordinary stuff doesnt strip us of value.Yes, our existence is ""just"" a physical process. So?You are not a ""slave"" to your experiences as much as you are (in part) your experiences.> I have to state again, if I arent deciding, then randomness is, so where is the free will?I think youre confusing me with another commenter. Im saying that _you_ are deciding. Let me phrase it this way: ""The part of physics that is my brain is controlling it"" = ""I am controlling it""Dont think of the physics as some distant tyrant ""forcing"" you to choose a certain way. ""Physics controls it"" includes stuff like ""my thoughts, feelings, preferences, evaluations of outcomes, etc, lead to my decision""... Again, Thou Art Physics. Its not some alien thing thats controlling you.To use the analogy from the article, ""I am not deciding, the physical processes in my brain are doing so"" is like saying ""my hand isnt picking up the object, just my fingers, thumb, palm are""... or even worse, ""my fingers, thumb, and palm are forcing my hand to pick it up""(Seriously, if you didnt read the Thou Art Physics thing, do so. It will help clarify what Im saying. Also note the different diagrams. Its not you vs physics. Its simply physics, which also contains you.)> W",Supportive
user-139,"['You can if you want.', 'Hovering on the invisible border between life and death makes you weary. I havent been online much. In fact I keep doing things I dont want to do anymore, because its all I know.', 'you there?', 'Let me ask you somehting? Do you know what its like to be so lonely it hurts.', 'Thanks, but just like the patrols in a psych ward its a precautionary measure, when life is gone. The flame has sputtered out, and the engine of my existence had died. Im so low on the totem of existence i could be easily snuffed out by a strong wind. Im done waiting and watching and being watched. I appreciate the effort, but there is no good that can be done here. My life is garbage.', 'You also need to understand that you cant expect people to stop their lives because you dont trust the people around them. Its not your opinion. you cant control people, just yourself. and if you feel she doesnt appreciate you, then maybe its time for a change rather than death. getting a new gf is rough, but its better than biting the dust wouldnt you say.', 'I know what you mean, but could you elaborate why you are at that point. Maybe not to tell me, but it will help others help you. just letting the internet know of intention will do no good. Im at that point so maybe we can relate.']",Ideation
user-140,"['I love watching peoples minds be changed by words... thanks for posting :)', 'Some day in the future, youre going to be confronted with someone in the position you are in now, perhaps your child, perhaps a close friend, whatever, and you will link them to this post and say ""Look! I was right where you are, and look at me now! I stuck it out, and now Im doing just fine. Life is long, and has room for many ups and downs. No reason to bow out early.""And theyll read what you wrote, and look at your smiling face, and know that it is true, and they will make the same decision you did, and perhaps they will go on to help someone through a hard time too.', 'I suggest stopping doing all the things you hate.Stop keeping your weight down. Fuck em. You can be awesome at any size.Stop going to college. Better happy & alive than educated and dead, right?If the alternative is death, you can afford to shuffle around all your priorities. Find a way you can make a difference in an area you carry about. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, or a museum, or a collaborative art project. Join a community about something you love online and spend all your waking hours working your ass off to make it awesome place to be. Blow your savings on a trip to a country youve always wondered about.Whatever it is, find a place where you can be a force for good. Feel free to pm me if you want more specific help finding something: I promise there are good opportunities you havent considered!', 'Reddit Gold basically just gives you the ability to see new comments in a previously viewed thread highlighted in blue. It is nice, but largely you are supporting reddit.', 'Read [this](http://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/rtaiu/being_foreveralone_has_got_me_so_down_right_now/c48mo0w). This guy managed to come from some of the worst Emotional upset and physical abuse and, though much of his life has been really shitty, has really made something of himself now. Hes inspired thousands of redditors, and his own life, at 43(!), is finally starting to turn around.Its a long road, but he didnt get any special help. You can do it too.', 'First, know that many, many people have felt the way you feel and worse, and have managed to come through it and put it behind them. Who knows how long it will take, but it is possible!Now, imagine how valuable this experience will be when you finally make it through: I dont know how old you are, but imagine another fifty or sixty years of a life in which you will be able to call on this experience to help other people through their own Suicidal thoughts.You do not deserve this, and Im not going to tell you its a ""blessing in disguise"" or anything, but you can turn it to your advantage. Your life is an enormous resource, and throwing it away only seems win-win in the short term. You have so much potential to do good in the world!', '10/10, would upvote again', 'Heres my advice: Use a little bit of that $30 to help someone else out. Just go out and find another human being who needs something, and give it to them.Dont expect anything return, though it may come. The mere awareness that you are capable of doing good even in these diminished times may help more than you think possible.And even if you do remain hopeless, at least you will have done something good for someone else :)']",Supportive
user-141,"['Yes. Whenever Im walking around alone at night I wish some murderer would just jump out and kill me. Or I could save someone else, me dying in the process. I wish someone would just kill me because I cant get around doing it myself yet. I wish something bad would happen to push me over the edge so I can just will myself to kill myself.', 'Definitely. Its many decades away, but fuck I dont want to be an old man. Im not even in my 20s yet but I still think ""fuck Im going to be old one day, an old decrepid fuck. Im going to live a boring monotonous life and one day Ill be a  old man. If you think no one cares about you now, just you wait until your old, youll see how little care people have for you"".Upside is Ill probably succumb to suicide way before then, probably before I even get to 20. Damn it, mum why didnt you just abort me.', 'Ive been on two different anti depressants, neither have done owt for me. Its fucking ridiculous, these were my last hope.', 'I hate how everyone seems to have Depression these days, so when you actually have it people just expect you to ""get on with it"" just because they did when they were ""depressed"".', 'When you want to kill yourself but its too much effort to think about methods.', 'I relate to all of this, especially the social media. I see people being judgy and being nasty to each other things beyond control, and it fucking sucks. Especially when it could be applied to me, this Depression has made me proper sensitive, the slightest insult makes me suicidal.']",Ideation
user-142,"['How long have you been depressed?', 'No ones Depression should be discounted.  You could make the argument that a rich person shouldnt be Depression because they should be able to buy simple comforts. There are a lot of reasons for being Depression, but it will always be subjective, and it shouldnt have to be validated.  It may be true that women with low self-esteem can find relationships more easily, but that would probably be because some men like damaged women and feel more comfortable being in a relationship with a less confident partner, possibly because they would be intimidated by a confident woman.  Are these women really better off though?  Sure, they attracted a man, but that man probably will not be able to instill self-esteem in the woman.  Unless a person is able to create confidence for themself, they will probably find it difficult to have a functional relationship.Not all women are attractive, and not all women make friends easily.  There are certainly gender dynamics at work in all social contexts but anyone can struggle to find support.  If you want to find support, your gender identity isnt as important as building effortful relationships and actively communicating with others that you care about them. Basically youll get what you give and if you expect people to be there for you, you might need to be there for them first.  Anyone can feel vulnerable and no one wants a relationship where the other person only ever talks about being Depression and needing someone.', 'Its really fucked that your parents would say they dont want to live with you. Everyone under the roof needs to put in the effort to create a nice home environment. School just tends to suck for painfully shy people.  There are people like you.  But they dont go to your school.  They are alone at other schools.  If no one wants you, you cant blame them or ask them to change your mind.  You can maybe hope that they will see how they were wrong about you. They would need to see that through your actions. I didnt have any friends when I was in school and if I could tell 16 year old me one thing it would be Focus on improving yourself, give people a reason to like you. Do things that make being you appealing to you. It sucks that loneliness is so powerful but it is. Im sorry about everything.', 'I tried to commit suicide once.  That was four years ago.  Things havent gotten better but I am just too scared to try again. I guess I just dont want it enough. My emotions and motivation have dulled too much.', 'Youre still young and you will have many more relationship opportunities. Try not to be too discouraged because of this one unfortunate experience or any others you might have had.  The important thing in relationships is to always communicate what you want and make them communicate what they want.  If you are friends with benefits with someone and you havent talked to each other about your expectations of where things are headed, then dont be too surprised if the relationship never develops beyond that.  Some people only want sex and they will find it without ever committing to anything or even while deceiving their partner.  Its something to be aware of.  Ultimately you will need to develop trust with your partner while addressing both of your needs.  Yours come first though.', 'You feel like a fuckup because you flunked a test.  Life never comes down to one academic test though.  Sometimes school can make you feel that way because it is a high Pressure environment.  But you may find that if you step away and try to gain some perspective on your situation, there are still a lot of viable options for you.  This test may have put you in a bad situation, but has it put you in a situation where you can no longer be there for your wife and daughter? Wouldnt it be worth it to live just to be there for them?', 'To answer your question, I have had positive experiences with club drugs.  When they work, they completely eradicate my social Anxiety.  I sometimes have a lot of trouble with coming down though.  Sometimes no matter what I take I feel stuck in a state of avolition or anhedonia.  My tips for avoiding coming down too hard are to taper off substance use incrementally, smoke cigarettes, remain active, and try to continue social contact for as long as possible ', 'You assume youve caused your boyfriends Depression but youre not sure. You should ask him to be sure.Never feel bad about things other people have done to help you. Its their decision, let them make it and say fuck them if they regret it or are mad about it.  Because seriously, fuck them.You resent your father for not being there and you want to know why.  Im just going to guess that the reason doesnt have to do with you personally.  He probably just didnt want a kid, any kid.  I know its hard not to take it personally.Its possible that all of your interpersonal struggles stem from the fact that you are too focused on yourself and you think other peoples moods and actions are more influenced by you than they actually are. Youre plodding through college and not enjoying yourself.  You should ask yourself if youre getting anywhere, if a logical next step is in place for after you graduate.  Hopefully you arent wasting your time.  Dont worry if youre wasting anyone elses time. Just ask: Am I moving toward a goal right now? and then, do I really want that goal?  Ask that all the time. College is a good opportunity if your goal is to be a normal, successful person. Being a normal, successful person isnt everything. Its two things, three if you count being a person as a thing.', 'What do people bully you for? ', 'Im sorry about your father.  ive never had a loss like that. and i dont know what that would be like. i do know what you mean about being bad at socializing though.  i dont know how other people always know what to say. My conversations are always devoid of content, which makes me feel dumb and boring.  I actually dont know if thats what you experience.  Im not distracted like you are.  Im actually really focused on thinking of something to say but I cant.Anyway. . .I dont think your problems are insignificant. You come across as being a Tired genuine person and you seem kind.  ', 'Your negative realization was exactly that, a negative realization. You found the negative reality in a good situation, which will always be there. Be glad that you had to go out of your way to find it.  Just try to enjoy what you have while you have it.', 'Cutting seems to be a big part of your identity.  It is one of the few things you mention in your other post.  Its in your username. Your peers are aware of it.  Do you think you would still enjoy cutting if you only did it on your thighs and stomach or other areas that are normally covered by clothing?', 'I like the way you write', 'What did she do when she caught you? Will there be any repercussions? Was she aware that you were Suicidal before?', 'The thing you need to remember is that, no matter how much you want this relationship, it would never be worth it unless she felt the same way.', 'Why did you start cutting yourself?', 'Adderall completely alleviates my social Anxiety and makes me feel like a normal person with a full spectrum of emotions, heavily weighted towards the good ones.  Taking adderall allowed me to understand what life is like without Depression.  I went to two doctors and asked if I could get a prescription for it to treat my Depression.  They both gave me a flat no.  I took a test to see if I had ADHD.  I didnt.  This all happened a few years ago.  I no longer have access to adderall. I stopped trying to go to doctors because the ones I went to were mean and it was an embarrassing experience.  No one will give you adderall for Depression but many kids get adderall just by seeing a doctor, complaining about attention problems, and taking a test.  It is supposedly not that hard.I dont know why it isnt prescribed for Depression.  It may have to do with the medical community believing it would only be a short term fix and you would eventually build a tolerance and start abusing it and other amphetamines.  I feel that if doctors feel comfortable prescribing it to kids with ADHD, then they probably arent that Worried about this kind of abuse.  Everyone knows it is a popular recreational pill.  I think doctors should either accept that reality while trying to help people with mental disorders or disallow it entirely.  I never tried it long enough or consistently enough to determine if it could have been a viable long-term solution for me.  I dont know if any studies have been done with amphetamine salts and Depression.  Another reason I think it probably isnt prescribed for Depression is that doctors have access to a lot of different kinds of anti-depressants that are proven to be effective for many people and are almost universally safer (and less abuse-able) than adderall.  I never found an anti-depressant that helped me and I stopped trying a long time ago.  But thats just me. I dont have the motivation to see doctors anymore.TL;DR: tell a doctor you are Worried you might have adhd using more subtle words', 'its not uncommon to have trouble getting an erection your first time.  everyone knows that cute young couples who openly display their affection are advised to fuck themselves.', 'It sounds like you are feeling Anxiety about your future so death seems like a good way to avoid any potential responsibilities and struggles and work that you know will continue to burden you.  Your thoughts are caught up on unknowable, undefined, ambiguous future events like ""work"" and ""heartbreak"".  Focus on the current events of your life instead.  Death is indeed the absence of Anxiety.  And every other thought and emotion as well.  Death isnt welcoming you, just waiting for you.', 'A small farm and a large family seems like such a wonderful life goal.  I hope you dont give up.', 'Well I guess you cant blame her for freaking out.  She could have had you hospitalized if she wanted. Why are you Suicidal?', 'You have a best friend. There are so many people you want to say goodbye to that you needed to make a list.  You are confident that you can deal with the amount of Pain youre in for over a month longer.  ', 'They might stop if you find a good enough distraction.  Work, books, exercise, any hobby. I dunno.', 'Does your cat have another home to go to if you should die?  Have you made any plans for it?It sounds like you are capable of being a Tired successful person socially. Your life has been filled with dramatic dysfunctional interpersonal relationships, and you have been emotionally dependent on these relationships, which is normal. You still have friends and a significant other.  You seem like a competent writer with at least average intelligence. I guess Im pointing all this out to say that youre not in the most unfortunate of situations.  Its still your right to want to die.  But if for some reason your suicide doesnt pan out, theres some stuff to work with.  ', 'with what', 'Im sorry your life has been so lonely', 'Where do you cut yourself?', 'There was probably more to your relationship than drinking, having sex and watching tv but these are the things people enjoy about being in a relationship and they seem Tired special and romantic.  But everyone wants to drink and have sex and watch tv.  Those are the only things anyone wants.  So you should be capable of finding another person like that.  ', 'Glad to hear it, person']",Attempt
user-143,"['You sound like you need a break. Seriously, take it slowly or youll combust. You need to do something less stressful and calm down enough to pull yourself together. Since you can do freelance writing or tech support, try joining ad revenue sharing sites like HubPages or Daily Two Cents. Its not upfront pay, but you can post about techie stuff and your posts will earn when they get a lot of views (passive income) or you can write an article about anything you want and sell it on articlesale.com or constant-content.com. ', 'Youre gonna die one day, so dont let your life be about size, unreal friends, or romance. The best years of your life are still to come. They can be during your 30s, 40s, or even 50s, so I think its a good idea that you want to join volunteer groups. Dont mind the people wholl pity you for your ""lack of experience"". Life really isnt about that. ', 'are you still there Throwitallaway8352? I hope you are. Dont give up on yourself. Theres still something you can offer the world. You just havent found it yet. Youre stuck wherever you are. How about see the world through other peoples eyes?', 'Fan Fiction is awesome. It wont betray you. Youre not gonna die alone. You just need to find the right people who will be your friends forever. It sucks, but Ive learned to, as bpdisorder says, be alone at times. I know youll find friends through your fanfiction and games. You could join Comic-con and Im sure youre gonna meet new and better friends. Dont let them ruin your day. Dont let them drag you down. ', 'Try the revenue-sharing sites where you can write different stuff, although payments gonna be long time if you dont go online much. You could try Bubblews where everyone talks about anything and where you can get something off your chest.', 'You can do it. Believe in yourself. Youre so much more than you think you are. I wish you luck, strength, and courage in life. ', 'ada_4?', 'Well, its good that accomplishing schoolwork makes you happy. What I usually do when Ive got some things to do but dont feel motivated to do it is that I do the easiest and quickest ones first. This way, when I feel like giving up, I look at the things Ive accomplished and get reenergized (even though they were easy tasks). After getting the easy ones done, I watch a funny video or post, then start doing the harder ones, while listening to my playlist. Im not sure if itll work for you, too, but its what I do. It might help. ', 'Dont leave the world just yet. ', 'You know, I used to be like one of those people who thought that people who wanted to commit suicide were stupid or cowardly. That changed when I got severely Depression a few years ago. Getting Depression was a concept alien to my family (and generally everyone I know), so I never told them. That time, I felt like I just wanted to stop the feeling, but realized I just couldnt kill myself. I wanted to live. Thats when I realized that I was never going to call people who want to commit suicide coward or stupid ever again. I guess what Im saying is I want you to live, too.', 'Sorta kindred spirit here. I know the feeling. Since I quit my regular job, Ive been working from home as a writer and I do feel lonely at times. Regular routine is wake up, eat, work, break - watch tv shows, play with cat, work, eat, work, sleep. It doesnt bother me much, though, since Im introverted and Im saving to travel. Have you seen the movie Ruby Sparks? I always told myself I wouldnt be like that guy writer who lives alone in the middle of the woods like lonelyyyyyy. My remedy to this is meeting old friends of mine or volunteering in an organization or place even for a few hours a day.', 'Not yet, ada_4. ', 'DONT!!! I dont think your boyfriend would break up with you. Have faith in him. I think you need to get yourself some time off work to deal with this. Dont ever give up on yourself. Go home and be with your family, with people who truly love and care for you. Youre not cheap or dirty because of those assholes. Never blame yourself for their crime. I think you really need to go home for a while and be with your family. ', 'You can, too. I know I might not be able to change your mind. Its still your decision and no one can take that away from you. I guess I just feel like you could beat the crap out of your mental Illness and not let it win. ', 'Its difficult when you feel like you SHOULD be happy, but you just dont feel that way. I think perhaps you should talk it out to someone who will listen to you - not necessarily to give advice or to diagnose you, but just to listen to you and be there for you. You dont have to pretend anymore. Say it straight that you feel Depression, but you dont why, and you cant stop feeling this way. Let your family know what youre going through. ', 'Sometimes we think were alone in things like this, and then we get surprised to know that there are actually so many of us out there thinking about the same things. I got Tired Depression at one point during my first year of working that it affected my job - tardiness, absences, etc. It was a horrible experience that even my family didnt take seriously because it just wasnt something apparently fathomable to them. I was only able to talk to a guidance councilor about it once. Looking back, though, that was the time in my life where the only person who was able to console myself was - myself (even my best friend didnt understand it). Like you, I know what people expect me to do: get a job, get married, have kids, carry on existing. I didnt want it, so after 3 yrs, I did freelance writing. Im not saying go into writing to find a purpose. What I do mean is that I understand what youre going through cause Ive been there, and what I did was this - when I couldnt ""find"" a purpose, I made one for myself.  ', 'Go for it, and good luck!']",Ideation
user-144,"['I dont want to live. Travel? With who? I have no one to travel with. I tried going places alone. It just makes me feel even lonelier and more depressed. It doesnt matter what I do because people dont like me. Or I dont like them. What if I dont want to help others? What if I cant find it in me? What if Im just too angry to give a fuck? I dont know. I dont have a good heart. I dont have a heart. ', 'I dont know how to forgive myself because Ive lost everything that mattered to me. **I** did that. It was *me*.I understand why I was promiscuous. That doesnt change anyones mind about me. It doesnt make me any more attractive. It makes me disgusting regardless of the reasoning behind it. I think anyone who would be with a girl like me is a guy with no self-esteem that cant get anyone else. Validation that Im not totally ugly. I figured it someone was going to sleep with me it was because I wasnt totally ugly, fat and gross. Turns out, men will sleep with absolutely anything that is willing. FAIL.My Dad didnt care. My Dad neglected me. My Dad would call me a slut before I had ever even touched a boy. ', 'If it were that simple, I would have done it. ', 'Oh, thanks! I got it now. All it took was you telling me to get it! Fucking sweet. THANKS.', 'It doesnt matter what demons others hide. They know my demons.I can remember every little terrible thing that has happened and I cant help but feel like a runt. I feel like I have no soul.Im sure there might be some people that care, but they cant save me. Its only a matter of time before they leave me.', 'I live too far away.', 'Well, I have no confidence. It is what it is.', 'Ive pushed all of my friends away. I dont think they are true friends, just people who still find me somewhat useful. ""Your purpose in life may just be to serve as a warning to others."" Thats all Im good for. What NOT to be.', 'what if theyve already given me a million chances?', 'Im just so embarrassed of the way I think. The things that I felt that were completely untrue and wrong. ""To understand and be understood is to be free"" ... I am not free because I dont understand and no one understands me. I felt like I knew something and everyday I have to trudge through life knowing that people think I am a joke. It hurts. I Fear ever facing those people that have put me down. That laugh at me. Because I dont have anyone in my corner. I am at a loss. I feel lonely. I dont know how to get what I want. What I seek. Yeah, I could change but I dont know where to begin. Can I ever really change? The consequences make me feel bad, yet I continue to hope that someday if I keep doing me, that I will find someone different. Its crazy. Im sad. ', 'But Im not happy. Anything that even makes me happy at all, ends up fucking me in some way. I sincerely believe I cannot win. That some people are cursed. That some people will never have a nice life. That some people will always get the best of everything while others suffer. It is what it is. I cant fucking take it anymore.', 'I cant live without regrets when I truly regret what Ive done. People dont look at me the same anymore. Maybe I was too distracted to see how they really looked at me. But I know Ive lost all respect. I know Ive lost all trust. Everyday, I think about suicide. Every.single.day. I am doomed.', 'People dont forget. 25 f. What else do you want to know?']",Behavior
user-145,"['I would like to say the same thing loveandsqaulor said (except im a dude)>Im still fucking pissed that i respect her.I find it comforting that other people think this way.  Ive been trying to move on from something similar but ive refused to take the ""hate/degrade her approach"" or the ""busy yourself approach"" and it sucks.', '(from the link)The subtle piano raindropsThe creaking of the buildings and their cellosThe Flatulence/wind was our violinThe sky was a symphonic mural of starsHiding behind perfectly placed cloudsBecause everything is the way it isAnd everything is perfect in their imperfectionsAnd everything is placed the bestAnd it is now, and it is hereAnd tomorrow is another nowWaiting to happen', 'I dont like the continual daily cycle of going though ""really really sad and terrifying and frightening feelings"" to ""base level existence.""', 'There are too few people in the world with a heart like you.  I need to know there are people like you around.  Lifes too damn hard without knowing that.  You arent alone in that sense.  It it doesnt make me feel like such an alien in this world. I hope that makes sense. Im sorry about your mom.  It angers me thats shes going through this and that your going through this.  Youre not alone.', 'Thanks gompert. I do appreciate it.>shelving away the notion that said enjoyment is forced/manufactured.How do you do that?  I cant bring myself to do it at all.  I have this weird mindset that comes and goes of being ""real"" or whatever and not distracting myself from everything like everyone else does.  I know how egotistical and...i dont know dickish? that sounds (i really do hate myself for even just writing that).  I just cant bring myself to do it....Also, do you know me? You have a writing style Tired similar to a friend of mine that i havent talked to in awhile.Again, you have nothing to be sorry about.  I can relate with you Tired well right now.Thank you, again.']",Indicator
user-146,"['Stanley is more of an NPD and Blanche is just damaged by her experiences imo. ', ""He can't handle three months? Are you sure this is the type of guy you wanted to spend your life with? He's bailing now when all he has to do is wait, - maybe it's a good thing you didn't have to find out the hard way when you were in too deep with kids and a mortgage and such.    \n\nThe program may or may not work, but it will definitely fail if you don't give it a chance. Think of it as starting of a new life. You'll get away from old patterns, old triggers, you won't have a choice but to learn to deal with shit on your own. You might just grow stronger, more independent, more self-aware, - you're mourning the life you're leaving behind but has it brought you that much joy, really? You don't want to be anchored by your condition - you can try letting that forced change of scenery change something in you, too. Just give it a chance. Change is scary but the comfort of old and familiar misery is just that, misery."", '>I heard in my BFs voice, ""look how stupid and whiny you sound! Youre like a child! Man up!!""    First things first - you need to dump that loser. Right now. Hes in your head, consuming whatever little resources you might have left for yourself. You think you dont care but this relationship is extremely toxic - its like living with a parasite that doesnt Pain or bother you, just quietly sits there, eating up your nutrients, poisoning your blood. You need a safe place to heal, you need to get rid of his nagging, criticism and mockery. You cant will yourself out of depression, you might be legitimately Illness and hes standing in a way of you getting help. Reclaim your space, you can barely carry yourself, and hes riding you like he couldnt give a crap. Believe me even if it doesnt make you happier, the moment you realize you dont have to see him or talk to him and hes out of your hair with his tantrums and his selfishness it will feel like taking a deep breath of fresh air after a lifetime of suffocating.', 'Great job! Doing god\'s work here. Run along now,  /r/suicidewatch and /r/domesticviolence need someone to point out their typos!    \n\nOP: glad you got out. /r/BPDlovedones might have a better answer for you, but google ""splitting"" in bpd context and you\'ll understand. In short, she doesn\'t ""literally"" hate you, just like she never ""literally"" loved you. It\'s all emotions. Superficial fluctuations of mood that go completely unregulated. Normal people, when they get sad, or mad, or frustrated, they attribute it to some combination of external and internal factors, of course there\'s always some margin of error but the overall perspective is more or less balanced. With BPD folk they found a target and they focus _all_ of their joy, or rage, or frustration on him/her. If she\'s sad, _you_ must have done something terrible to make her sad. The reality doesn\'t have to match, in fact the absence of proof only adds to the intensity because then it\'s 100% imagination. You\'re trying to evaluate her behavior through your own filters, in your world, if someone says they hate you, there must be a Tired serious objective reason for it, and it\'s real and won\'t go away the moment you laugh at a cute cat picture or if someone tells you you look nice. With her, it\'s exactly like that. She ""loves"" when she\'s in a nice mood, and she ""hates"" when she\'s bummed. Everything is Tired intense and dramatic, but none of it is more than two inches deep. Think of a toddler throwing a tantrum, only they know grown up words and can act really well, and you\'ll get the picture.', ""You're not going to get any meaningful advice here. As you said, these people are incapable of seeing outside of their own situation. All you're gonna hear about is how it makes _them_ feel and I'm pretty sure you're already Illness of it. Head to /r/bpdlovedones  instead."", 'What do you think happens when you ""kinda"" succeed? You cannot hit a save button and pick up where you left off after a failed attempt. Theres gonna be consequences. Pills? goodbye kidneys/liver. Some slow your heart and make the blood Pressure drop, but not enough to kill you - just enough to throw a clot in your spine, or worse, in your brain, and turn you into a drooling babbling cripple. Ever seen Cerebrovascular accident victims? yeah like that. Razors? Poor strategy == lose enough blood to drop Pressure (and then see above) but not enough to drop dead. Or just enough to deprive your limbs of circulation (oxygen) for some time, and wake up in an ICU with a stump.    Jumping off some place high? well it has to be really, really fucking high. Even then you might land on something unexpected and survive. And you probably wont wanna jump anyway, it does takes a huge dose of desperation and not giving a fuck to pull that off even for people who are determined to check out. Are you kidding me. Shits fucking scary.   There are not 100% safe methods even if you have zero doubts and have been planning it for a long time. A botched attempt is likely to make your life a living hell - and not only mentally, physically as well. I understand why you dont want to ask for help. Its embarrassing. Its been drilled into your head that ""wanting attention is bad"" and its shameful and it makes you a drama queen. But they can get the fuck over themselves. They can deal with a little drama seeing as the alternative can lead to dealing with long-term care facilities and tons of medical bills.    Listen, you probably dont want to die, you just want to fix things that are making you miserable. Maybe just a chance to talk in a safe setting without being afraid that those you trust will roll their eyes and scoff in your face. You want to be taken seriously and you feel that its impossible as long as the situation is under your control. I mean, its not just to ""scare people"", right? You feel that only if that control is taken from you, it will somehow absolve you of all responsibility. But you couldnt be more wrong. If anything, it will be *remembered* as your most epic fuck up and only end up in more guilt and shame and possibly a ruined life or two.         Reaching out is hard, especially to those who are closest to us. We fail to see things clearly the closer they are. And the more comfortable we get with people, the easier it is for us to dismiss them, they feel too familiar and theres so much our own  baggage that we cant see things that are right in our faces. I bet there are online suicide prevention counselors that patiently talk to desperate strangers all night and then come home and yell at their equally distraught family members. You know how it is.    You can and you will be taken seriously if you start taking yourself seriously first. Try to understand *why* you think attempting suicide is your only option. Try having a dialog with yourself. Ask yourself if youre prepared for the consequences of either outcome. There are a whole lot of people on the net, including this place, where you can vent and rant and talk about whatever anonymously, what if all you need is just an advice or a fresh perspective? What if all you need is a visit to a regular doctor and a prescription? I dont know, you havent given out much information. But what if its easily solvable, you just dont see the solution because youre so close to the problem?    So dont make it into a ""half-ass pity party"", but also dont make it into a tragedy.  Clearly youre still capable of logical and rational thinking, apply it. Make it into an intelligent and mature decision, whatever it is. Even if you do decide to off yourself eventually, give yourself time to do proper research, this will be the final and the most important decision of your life - I mean, if anything you owe it to yourself to spend more time on it than time you spend picking your next smartphone, right? Also, it will help you figure out just how serious you are about this. Is it worth months of reading medical articles and case studies and planning? cause it its not, youre not ready. It will also give you a sense of a way out without forcing you into any kind of action. Give you some wiggle room. Just in case some things I said sounded ""sarcastic"" or whatever: it wasnt intentional, Im not trying to mock or ridicule anyone or imply that failed attempts are cries for attention, not by any means. Just give an objective analysis of possible consequences. I hope you get help and get better. Until that happens, just keep talking. People will always take you seriously here.', ""someone I know is like that. WHen everything is nice and quiet and there's literally nothing to Stress about they'll go out of their way to manufacture a crisis out of thin air and drag everyone in their vicinity into it. It's ridiculous. The worst thing is when you're dealing with their imagined disaster, your own problems are being put on the back burner and your own issues - no matter how serious - are ignored. Once they immerse themselves into their own experience, everything else ceases to exist. Last one of those fits cost me an ambulance ride because I couldn't get a break to take care of a  nasty resp. virus I caught, I was too busy mitigating their imaginary apocalypse. It affects other people too."", 'You are getting a preview of what your life will become if you stay with her. Constantly on alert, walking on eggshels, rehearsing every word, every sigh, every facial expression multiple times in your head before you let anything out, your every move being watched, zero autonomy, and absolutely no remorse or accountability on her side. That sinking feeling you have every time she has a mood swing, every time you are afraid to go home when she\'s there because you\'re frantically trying to remember all the ways in which you could\'ve ""messed up""? it\'s gonna become constant. Whatever passions you have in life, every little thing that makes you happy, she\'s gonna squeeze it out of you and replace with anxiety, Fear and guilt. You will forget what it\'s like to appreciate a sunny day, to talk freely with your friends, to enjoy a meal without subconsciously expecting a shitstorm because every moment of happiness she might suspect you could have had without involving her, you\'re gonna get punished for - in unreasonably, disproportionately, ridiculously cruel ways. This is the worst kind of existence I can imagine for anyone. Do you really want this? I mean, there are tons of beautiful intelligent girls out there that won\'t turn your life into an endless stream of Pain, Fear and humiliation. You are a grown man and you\'re already getting used to the idea of asking permission to watch R-rated movies. WTF is that? She needs help but you\'re not the one to help her. You don\'t help a serial killer by becoming a willing victim because you sympathize with someone ""damaged"". You save yourself instead.', 'aaaand there we have it. The only voice of reason in this thread, and s/he\'s an asshole. And you wonder why you can\'t get ""help""? because you\'re only willing to listen things that make you comfortable, and the truth often sucks. If you rely solely on people to tell you what you want to hear, 24/7, no matter what, or there\'s hell to pay/ambulance to call otherwise, nobody will be able to help you. Your feelings are important _to you_, that doesn\'t mean they automatically become the responsibility of those surrounding you. The pills you have are not enough to seriously Pain yourself, you\'ll just wake up in a hospital, they\'ll make you swallow a tube and pump your stomach and make you talk to a psyshiatrist on call who\'s seen maybe a dozen cases like you since last night, and if you throw a fit they\'ll put you on hold, it will cost a shitton of money (to whom? your parent? your spouse? the state?) and the next time you\'ll be taken even less seriously because no matter how much people care, they are not made of steel and they judge us by what we do, not what we think or feel.  ', ""The diagnosis gets thrown around like a huge blanket for any character disorder that doesn't fit other criteria more snuggly. Also there are types of BPD. For example, histrionics  are basically narcs without the delusions of grandeur, but avoidant  is literally the inverse of the NPD (i'm the center of the world vs. the world is scary and fucked up and it's all my fault) yet it's lumped up right there with borderline like no biggie. So, I'm going to assume the amount of damage someone with a diagnosis can do differs accordingly.\n\nSecond.\n\nThink about someone with a heavy drug addiction. Are they a horrible person? maybe yes, maybe no. Are they going to drag you down and fuck up your life beyond recognition if you enable them? abso-fucking-lutely.     \n\nGood thing about both the BPD and the drug addiction is that unlike actual diseases and mental illnesses you can't fake _not_ having, those are character (behavior) disorders that can be mediated through changing one's behavior. An addict can fight their urge to use drugs, I'm not saying they can stop ever loving or wanting them, but they can learn some tools/get some meds that will prevent them from acting out on their urge. Same here. BPD is not Malignant neoplastic disease or epilepsy or something. It's behavioral patterns that can be changed, even if the causes and the triggers remain the same.   \n\n"", 'I\'ve been on suboxone maintenance for more than three years (ex heroin addict) It can be a lifesaver, but it\'s one hell of a commitment. Withdrawals can last for months and although physically nothing like full-blown dope sickness, they\'re pretty Asthenia mentally. I wouldn\'t recomment it for someone who\'s just looking for a suitable mood stabilizer unless you\'re absolutely positively out of options, or an addict. \n\nSubs can work wonders, both in terms of keeping you off the dope and helping your mental state. I read something somewhere about its effectiveness when used strictly as an antidepressant (for non opiate-dependent people). Google ""buprenorphine and kappa antagonism"" to see the studies.  As far as chemical dependence goes, at Tired low doses the opiate effect is negligible (no ""high"" to speak of), other than that people on antidepressants/mood stabilizers are dependent anyway, so it\'s just switching one for the other. Except for the cost, but most insurance plans cover it now.    \n\n\nBut _you have to take it regularly_. No exceptions. Consistent blood level is absolutely required for it to work. You won\'t benefit from it if you keep using it to deal with withdrawals until you can score again, or recreationally, like any other antidepressant it only starts working once blood concentration reaches a stable point. Again, the decision to go on subs is long-term, it\'s not something that can be ""tried on"", be prepared to get stuck on that ride for a while. ', 'You can look up [avoidant disorder](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder) it often co-occurs with BPD    \n\nhttp://bpd.about.com/od/relatedconditions/a/Borderline-And-Avoidant-Personality-Disorder.htm', ""I think you're confusing high self-esteem with self-awareness. High self-esteem + BPD = narcissistic personality disorder. "", 'The film doesn\'t really show what the author was trying to show imo. It just a showcase of various mental disorders with Jolie stealing the spotlight (in fact if anything it\'s probably a great exploration into female sociopathy but BPD is nowhere to be found, Suzanna simply appears to be a normal ""troubled"" teenager). The book delves much deeper into the struggles that go on inside her head. ', 'First, read this    \nhttp://outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/CircularConversations.html    \n\nrecognize when you confuse things you feel with things that are really happening. It\'s a huge problem for BPDs to see outside of their situation. When you catch yourself sipping into ""I hate everything"" mode just enumerate things that are _really_ happening right now, as objectively as possible (like you\'re a reporter, for example) and try to distance the objective desctiption of the situation from what you\'re feeling. You can still feel it, just remind yourself it\'s not what\'s really happening on the outside.     \n\nEmotions are like weather. They will pass. Good ones and bad ones, they\'re transient. What\'s stable is what\'s around. You might feel she doesn\'t care enough or she said something that upset you - how real is it? Based on her past actions, if you were to have, say, a heart attack right now, would she drop everything, stop being upset, grab you and rush you to the hospital? All the real-life trouble you\'ve been through, how supportive was she of you, can you trust her to pick you up when you\'re too drunk to drive, to comfort you if there\'s a problem at work, bring you chicken soup when you\'re Illness? Those things are _real_, and they\'re the only ones that matter. Now what she _might_ be thinking about you, not what she _might_ have done without your knowledge, not what she, maybe, _might_ do in the future when she gets fed up - speculations are worthless. Don\'t confuse your imagination with reality. The rest are just your brain being a toxic brat. Let it have its tantrums but try to put some distance between you and her while you wait it out. And remember you\'re doing just that - waiting out the shitty weather, nothing more.     \n\n Find distractions. Find something that will occupy your mind, give it something to do. Write, or solve puzzles, or start a DYI project, whatever floats your boat but don\'t let your mind get stagnant, it\'s gonna start filling up with garbage real Sharp Pain when its idle.     \n\nAnd when she needs your support, and you get mad because _your_ needs aren\'t being met at the moment, well... think how selfish this would sound coming from her if you were in her place. You are a team. Stop keeping score, stop counting favors, stop all that shit. You\'re supposed to be on each other\'s side, not compete for attention. Whenever you catch yourself being unfair and selfish, pretend you switched roles, pretend you\'re her, how would that make you feel?     \n\nWhat I noticed, growing up with a BPD parent and spending the past 20 years trying to get rid of their fleas, is the significance of words - not the ones you shout out loud during a nasty argument, those don\'t mean much, - but how you formulate things in your own head. Imagine this situation, for example:    \n\nYou\'ve had a long day at work and you\'re at the end of your rope. You dream of getting home and just want to shut down and Chill in front of the TV. But when you get there you see your gf has been crying, she\'s had a bad day, someone upset her at work, or she\'s Illness with the flu, or is stressing about some exam, I donno - the point is, instead of getting your much deserved rest you now have to tend to her emotions and put yours on hold.     \n\nNow note how your brain puts it in words. There is more than one way to represent a situation. Is it ""omg it\'s not FAIR can\'t I have a single night to myself?? I\'m human too! I\'m Tired! I\'m stressed! Why the hell do I have to waste my Tired limited resources on someone who didn\'t even bother to ask me how my day went, and is probably will dump me anyway??"" There\'s also another way to look at it, there always is. Yes you\'re Tired and pissy and it\'s not ""fair"". But what is it that she really expects of you? Just a little help. A smile, a hug, a couple of supportive words. She isn\'t neglecting your needs, she\'s just human and has some of her own, and now it\'s your turn to step up. It\'s important to remember that _other people are exactly like you_, they are just as volatile, and complex, and sometimes needy, and make mistakes, and are not always in tune to your needs, and that\'s ok. It wouldn\'t be fair if people always expected _you_ to anticipate their moods and mitigate them - why are you expecting it of them? Stop with the double standard. If you\'re not ready to do something, don\'t demand it from other people. Simple as that.    \n\nDon\'t fake happiness, don\'t force yourself to act jolly when you\'re depressed, that\'s another problem - BPDs are never about what\'s real, it\'s always the role they play. Stop obsessing about ""what you look like"" to others, it\'s not about your image, it\'s not about what others may think of you. They\'re just like you, remember? they can think a thousand self-contradicting things at the same time and Tired few of those things will align with reality.     \n\nSo just Chill, stop  trying to make an impression all the time, don\'t act, don\'t expect to be reimbursed for your troubles, don\'t do any butthurt favors, just think what you would want them to do if you were in a similar situation. _But what about me??_ is poisonous to a relationship when it becomes a go-to reaction to any kind of effort you think is expected of you. It\'s not your girlfriend, it won\'t be your next girlfriend, you have to realize that no relationship survives with that mindset. Selflessness and empathy are crucial, otherwise you might as well quit. If you\'re not ready for things to be ""unfair"" for the sake of the one you love once in a while, you have no business having a life partner.', 'Get some sleeping pills. ', 'You sure you want a kid and not a puppy? I had a parent with strong BPD traits. If I could be unborn I would do this in a heartbeat. ', 'what do you mean ""deserving""? nobody\'s entitled to anyone\'s love. It\'s what you make of it. You cannot expect people to love you if you continue to make their lives miserable. Codependence, maybe, but not love. Would _you_ want to be in a relationship with a person who made you fearful of things you could not control, yet held you responsible for them? Would _you_ want do deal with the version of yourself in your partner? So why the double standard? Love means freedom from Fear and inner peace, first and foremost. ', ""If everything you do when you start seeing someone is focused on reflecting their every trait, you're gonna attract the ones who tend to fall in love with their own reflection. Narcissists mostly. Hence the crazy declarations of undying love and all that cringey  hype. "", ""I think /r/BPDSOFFA might be a better place for you to ask these questions. What you need to understand is that you are not his caretaker. You're quite literally destroying yourself and jeopardizing your future with this person. _You need to take care of yourself_ - you do not possess the knowledge, skills and experience needed to handle someone like him. He's latched on to you because you're trying so hard to make him feel normal, so he justifies not seeking help and persisting with his behavior because you provide that justification. Listen Tired carefully, he is not just some immature insecure kid that needs your love and help and support to overcome his hangups, - he is seriously broken, and even if you were an experience mental health professional with tools and meds at your disposal, you probably wouldn't be able to help him because of your involvement.     \n\nThere are good stable men out there, the ones that will be happy to be your best friend and listen to _your_ needs, why are you sacrificing so much for a person that refuses to help himself? You're under a lot of Pressure and you have your own problems that need fixing. _Putting your basic needs first is not selfish_ no matter what your partner (or your parents, or whoever conditioned you it's OK to tolerate this sort of thing) has told you. You are not responsible for him. If he gets Suicidal and kills himself it will NOT be your fault. If he threatens it, call 911, that's the extent of your responsibility for his well being. _You are not equipped to handle this_. Him making you believe that makes you his hostage, not his partner. If you stay and keep believing it's somehow your job to take care of him and cater to his psychotic whims, you might Tired well end up planning your own suicide. This is the truth about trapping oneself with a BPD _who refuses professional care_  - they survive by sucking the life out of people who think they can rescue them. Don't be mistaken, he doesn't want to be rescued by you. He doesn't need your _help_, he needs your Stress and your drama and to constantly reassure himself that his moods can be just as stressful and sometimes devastating for _you_ as they can be for him. Please don't subject yourself to this anymore. You're on your way to become a doctor, shit, you'll need all your strength and mental health to even survive your training. Again, he will not get better as long as there are people enabling him. _He is not your responsibility_.    \n\n "", ""it's a thing    \nhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maladaptive_daydreaming"", 'I remember this episode on ER about a woman suffering from agoraphobia, who had a breakthrough session with her therapist and agreed to step outside her house for the first time in years. So they carefully make the first few steps and she\'s breathing and everything and then BAM the goddamn roof collases around them and they\'re rushed to the hospital...    \n\n.. and the poor woman is wheeled from place to place in crowded corridors with drunk and stoned people yelling and crazy people running around and eventually - yes there\'s more - eventually gets trapped in an MRi machine by some psycho who pretended to be a doctor...    \n\nanyway... in the end she was all smiles and rainbows and was like ""if I can survive a day like this I can sure as fuck survive going outside my house once in a while"".    \n', 'Theres always a way out. Do you work? Are you in school? Do you have any free time on your hands? You dont sound like youre clinically depressed, maybe you just feel trapped and hopeless? If you dont feel that you ""qualify"" to ask for help from a womens shelter, maybe you can try volunteering for a women advocacy group or something like this. Youll get to help people and meet new friends and wont feel so isolated - not to mention they can help point you in the right direction, social workers, employment resources, residence, whatever is there. As long as your body is still functional, physically - I dont know if mentally you can take on a challenge like this, but if you think youre up to it, you can give it a try. ', 'I agree with you on the ""ruining other people"" and ""reproducing"" part. But you can make a choice to stay away from long term relationships and to not have children. There\'s a Tired limited amount of damage a BPD can do to someone they\'re not intimately involved with. Most of them are hyper-vigilant about being decent to strangers/coworkers/whatever at the appropriate distance. They also make good artists, writers, musicians, etc. There\'s good in everyone but it takes some self-awareness and hard decisions to avoid harming others. Like pedophiles choose chemical castration for example. ', ""So do mosquitoes. They don't have it out for you, they just survive by sucking your blood. Doesn't really make much of a difference being stuck with a bunch of them in a room tho."", ""If you proceed with this relationship things are gonna end up on his terms, not yours. What you want doesn't matter. Also these people have no concept of accountability. If you try to distance yourself before he's ready you might be  putting yourself at risk. ""]",Indicator
user-147,"['Well the biggest factor preventing me from trying it again is the support group Ive surrounded myself in. When I told my loved ones what I did, the look on their face was the hardest thing Ive ever dealt with. Then I thought this could have been 1000x times worse. I could have left them. Without ever giving them the chance to try and help me. I always thought I would be a burden if I opened up, but you know what? It makes people feel loved and special when you can confide in them. I saw a therapist the other day and that helped Tons. I though it was going to be a big Emotional upset blow up, but it was the opposite. Yes I broke down telling her what I did, but she listened, and discussed plans for moving forward. She didnt make me feel bad at all, hell, it looked like she was tearing up a bit. No matter what problems you are going through, when your life is on the line, you are all that matters. Dont feel gulity or having these thought or what it could have done. Your alive now and lets keep it that way. Focus on yourself, make yourself happy. After my attempt I struggled to think how Im going to make it up to everyone...but there was nothing to make up. They all just want me to focus on myself. You cant make anybody else happy unless you are yourself. If therapy sounds appealing to you I highly recommend it, but if reddit users are working, then thats fine too ;). I was all over this post before my attempt and one user actually figured I wasent full of shit and called the cops, they busted down my door and saved me. Thats why Im on reddit now, I feel like I can help people on here because I know what true darkness is like. Im still not ok, it will take time, but life has purpose for me again. I want to enrich the live of those I would have otherwise completely ruined. Its my motivation. You need to find that motivation. Its good your talking on here, dont ever put yourself in a shell thinkin nobody care or nobody wants to talk. We are here :)', 'Ill be sleeping with ya bud', 'It is also capable of complete instability. The drinker I get the Easter it is to go through with it. Thanks for trying to help, Im stifling to keep my eyes closed which means its time for the bag. Goodnight ', 'I flatten average men with a pad and a pen ill fashion a diss so immaculate I have to rap it with a cackle and grin ', 'Thanks check them all out you are the only person to give feedback. I like ghostwriter ', 'Benjamin David young argyle hotel march 2nd edmonton rip the dose has been done', 'If I stay here and have to deal with everyone visting me while Im in a bed on my own doing....I dont know...I feel like this is the first chapter in a long and miserable life', 'You sound completely defeated and that breaks my heart. There is nothin more i can offer expect kind words but I think they are too hard for you to hear now. If you could have one positive thing happen to you today, what would it be?', '22', 'Hahah that legit made me laugh, comparing life to horseShit. Thanks for that, thats probably gunna be the last belly laughter I get', 'Too late', 'Im pretty sure  they saw some reddit posts I made on their computer dashboard. They said I made Suicidal threats to people but I literally havent talked to anybody in person for 2 days', 'How can I fall asleep and not wake up', '""I see now that the circumstances of ones birth is irrelevant. Its what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are "" -mewtwoIm dangerously unstable myself right now and the only thing keeping me from following through with shit is going on reddit to talk to people in the same boat. That quote from mewtwo helped me as a child. today, they hold no weight for me, hopefully they do for you.', 'That once Im drunk enough Im hanging myself from this perfect hook next to the hotels tv', 'Like right now as a example, that was probably the perfect thing I needed to hear. But its not clicking. Thats the scary part. I could probably make a post involving both sides of my feeling, one bad, and one good. Everyone here on reddit has shown nothing but love but I cant stop fucking thinking about it. I live in the moment, and will never be able to go beyond that. I could have said one word and reached out for help months ago and avoid 95% of the shit thats going on right now. But I let it snowball and snowball. I feel like a robot, everything you said makes sense to me, but -and please dont take this wrong way- it does not help. Its not your fault, how can anybody on the Internet know exactly my situation without me explaining it all. I cant do that. I feel like Ive heard all the right things fr you and others but tears are still running and the bad thoughts are Tired frontal', 'The way the take care of you is dope you up on drugs to the point where you are psychically unable to do ANYTHING. If you dope me enough to the point I dont know what a knife is, I guess thats help. But my point? They will not be rehabilitate me, they do whats required to get you checked out safely, because then its not their problem. If I went to a hospital with cuts on my wrists, they would stich me up and send me on my way. Its a joke', 'I finished my therapy session. It went really well. I was blaming myself for a lot of things I shouldnt be. It made me feel a little bit better so Im going back for sure. Im still a little unstable though I have these waves of emotions that try and drown out everything she told me..but its only been one day. I wouldnt say im cured, I still have dark thoughts. But I like her and I can talk to her whenever so thats sort of a relief. ', 'I only posted her name because she went beyond the generic responses and even gave me her number. Its hard to imagine getting help from simple words but she actually made me thin. Its awesome that her, you, ad others are here for help, but I cant have 100 convos going while trying to drink and die lol', 'If you cant make an attempt to create some sort of kind words then make your own post. I dont want another persons guilt and Fear here, it really isnt helping me knowing I have you right by myside, bringing us both down. Thanks for saying you dont want me to feel bad, but given what you said before, your words hold no weight', 'Well il find out soon enough if the maid finds me still alive. Im going to post here if I live, and I will be giving you credit, you are the only one who has given me advice to think about. On my thread the deleted comments come from someone who asked me to do it for their entertainment and I momentarily lost faith in talking to people here. Its cool to know people care, I just dont think it will be enough. My name is Benjamin David young/edmonton alberta. Once Im gone, please try and get ahold of my family so you can explain what I went through. You seem to legitly concerned. It would do them good to hear about it from a third party perspective.', 'If he was close to 27, i dont think he would have specified he will do it at that age. He would just say hes going to shoot himself. Given the subreddit he was on, I wouldnt put this past just being some bullshit. Ive read a buuuunch of posts like this, posted some myself. Something about the way he words it make me think hes not being truthfull. I will send him a serious PM and see what kind of response I get. i could be totally wrong but i trust my gut.I wouldnt loose sleep over him. People in /rsuicidewatch could use people like you right now, focus on them.', 'Another thing: after my two failed attempts and sitting in my parents guest room; I have not received a hug, have not been told Im loved, have not been asked if Im going to be ok. I havent eaten since they got me (2 days) and the only thing my mother has said is ""you should eat something"" without even looking at me. I said Im fine so she went out for a smoke. I know what I put her through is horrible but Im still pretty fucking unstable and if shes mad at me she should try and at least hide it cuz its only intensifying my feelings', 'Yea whatever reddit works fine. I cant believe I fooled everyone, I even got the cops involved in a big talk about MMA that tottaly pushed the focal point off me. As for doctors? You kidding? I basically said  sorry and it wont happen and they let me go. I even got a ride back to my hotel from the cops. Good thing they came lol', 'Im a good liar. Its the only reason Ive made it so far lol', 'I need several million dollars. Only way to prevent it from happening 20 years from now as supposed to today', 'Thanks, but only I know how I feel as Im sitting this this hotel. The only thing Im Worried about is the maid comming in to early. All the ""concerned"" phone calls ended awhile ago. Im not hopin to be rescued, but shit, I think everyones attempt at reaching me lasted 3 hours. I could call someone right now and be dead before they eventually made their way over here. They all think Im just being a brat and runnin away, I dont think the word suicide will cross their mind until a few days have passed. A lot of people would have killed to have my life without making the mistakes i did. lets give them that opportunity.', 'Bedsides from getting a police baton to the side of the head Im fine', 'Thats true, but I also have a cop on either side of me. I think whats going to happen is 1. Hospital says ImNot a risk, cops take me to jail. 2. Hospital considers me a risk and I stay here until Im ""healthy"" THEN go to jail. I shoulda ended it when I had the chance', 'I do not think the majority of people here can offer you the advice or help you need. Im so sorry youve had such a life, you sound like a strong person. You need to seek out professional help, people here can only offer words and you need much more then that. I and Im sure other, will be more then willing to talk to you if your bored or feel lonely, but please seek help beyond here.', 'Life', 'A hot shower. My life is a pile of shit and I have about 4 1/2 hours before I do this, and you say take a shower. That may work with somebody who had a bad day, not a bad life. Why dont you delete this comment like you did your others. I feel bad your in the same Pain I am, but trust me, your really not helping me here. Go talk to somebody whos stable because you do not know the right things to say to me. Does anybody? Who knows, but I know you dont', 'She called the cops on me twice saying she was my girlfriend. If she had not got my location and called the cops I would probably be in a coma. Thank you Cosmiiaaa', 'Says you', 'Because people only give a fuck about you when your dead. Dont tell me you would want to hear about my life if I wasnt Suicidal. Im not trying to be a dick,  but you cemented my feelings of people only wanting to hear about others troubles for  their own interest. The only person who will care will be me when I decide to take the final shot into the afterlife', 'Im hitting that point bud. Tried twice in the last two days to end it. Hospital stay, cop car, mom and dad, all that bullshit. I really just dont give a shit anymore, I spent sooo much time and energy preparing for my death in that hotel. When I woke up, I broke. My dad made me a therapist appointment tonight and Im just gunna tell him what they want to hear so I can leave. Wait till my parents fall alseep and drink myself to death. Or not. Who gives a shit lol', 'I texted u', 'Haha. I made a post to suicide watch titled ""cosmiiaaa actually cares"" as a way of thanking her for saving me. I also sent her a PM (private message) thanking her in further detail. i was just trying to show you can do some real good here.', 'Im a good liar', 'Failure to appear, suspended license, basically all traffic stuff. But they deff have enough to put me in jail. The cops are nice but the hospital staff are dicks Im sitting here awaiting my fate when I just wish I could be dead', 'Im not arguing with you, Im trying to point out a different way of looking at things. If I was arguing, I would have chose my words a lot differently. But you dont seem to want to be told you can make it through this yet. Hopefully in time you realize the point I was trying to make', 'All good, just be careful when you give advice', 'Oh well', 'Possibilities: girlfriend already said she never wants to see me againParents: dad will prob punch me and mom will refuse to let me stayPolice: I will be put in jailHospital: ill be treated then put in jail', 'Oh I see. I havent eaten in 2 days comming up on 3. Im litteraly not Hungry and I couldnt force myself to eat right now if I tried. My feeling are only being sub-sided by talking here. I dont have a person who will actually listen to me. Well I guess this therapist might but I doubt ill feel any better tonight. I need a fuckin drink bro. I dont feel like drowning myself but a glass of weisers would do wonders for my head. I thought the ""I dont give a fuck"" mind state was not good but given my situation, it might save me from a heart attack. Its hard to type my fingers are Tremor ', 'The last thing I want you to feel is gulit. If anything youve made my last hours easier', 'That comment was directed at Eskimo. I was only ever trying to help and he was trying me make me look like an ass. I apologize for offending you that way, I understand its not my place to tell you what you can and cant do. However that is how I feel, and I only expressed that to you as a ""wake up call"" because I though it might help save your life. I do not think you asking for help was morbid. Thats the right thing to do, and it takes strength. I could have worded it kinder but I felt that if I I was blunt, it might strike a chord. Your life is your own to live, but when you talk a out ending it, conversations might get a little tough you know? Again Im not a therapist, I just tried to help, and Im sorry it didnt work. Please dont give up', 'My gf of 6 years broke half my shit when she saw I left. (When I went to the hotel to kill myself) she thought I was breaking up with her. The last text I got from her before I passed out the first time is "" come sign your name off the lease and I hope to never see you again"" so I think that ship has sailed. Kind of ironic those were almost the last words I ever read. My support system is crumbled and Im not strong enough to carry on in life alone. The only control I have in my life right now is wether I want to continue it.', 'Help call again ', 'I just dont see how my life can be normal after this. Suicide has been the only thing on my mind for the last 3 months. 2 failed attempts, police escorts, hospital stay, mom who Im sure would help set up my noose, and my dad breaking my heart with what he thinks is care. I dont think my sister knows yet but holy shit is that going to be another wave of emotion I cant handle. If I cant figure my shit out soon, then Im doing people a favour by killin myself. What if I have a wife who dosent work, 3 kids, and a grand kid and these feelings come back. I dont want anybody to get anymore emotionally involved in me because Ive damaged them enough already. And that wasent even enough to change my mind state. Like what the fuck I think I need to be in a padded room or something. I Fear when I get misunderstood that one last time, ill Pain someone else instead of me. I start to feel better, then look at my situation, and add more gulit for trying to brush it off. I dont even know if Im making sense right now', 'Thank you', 'Told u Im a good liar. T-minus 12 hours', 'That seems like a mountain I dont have the gear to climb. ', 'Im not here to talk down your problems. Nobody knows the damage your problems do to you but yourself. That being said, put all your problems in one hand. Put all the reasons you havent killed yourself in the other hand. Which one weighs more? If your problems weigh more then your will to live ask yourself this : if all of your problems went anyway RIGHT now, would you still want to die? No? But whats stopping more problems from crawling into that now empty hand. Will you be asking yourself this question once both hand are full again? Your troubles do not stem from your problems, they come from never being taught how to deal with them. Im sorry if I make no sense, Im suiciadal myself and dont know if any of my advice counts because I cant even follow it myself. Hopefully this is the the only sane part of me trying to break its way through my thoughts of death. Im not one of those people who have a good life and try to show others the light. Im here in the darkness with you, trying to push your ass out of it', 'Losing your girlfriend sucks. I know. Just lost mine of 6 years. Losing your life sucks more. I know. I failed twice and after being revived,i saw a small portion of the potential damage I would have cause if I had died. Now Im surrounded by support an love from people and those on reddit. You can get over her, and get through this. Its gunna take time and effort, but you will be a stronger person for it. Youll be able to conquer anything that comes your way once you push through this.', 'Im in a hospital room waiting to decide if I get released', 'You dont seem to want any advice; but nobody is going to spend a Asthenia with you as you dwindle away without trying to save you. Thats kind of morbid to ask of somebody. I wish you get better and find somebody to spend time with. Hell if your near edmonton hit me up, but dont ask people to hold your hand while you refuse their help before ending it all. I dont even know you and I want to save you. You need to understand there are people around you that can make you feel better. You have to make the step to reach out to find them, just like you did here...kinda...It dosent seem like you want any advice on your feelings, so I wont give any unless you ask, just do me a favour and make it your goal to find somebody to confide in about this.', 'If I make it through this ill be a broken man', 'Ill take you up on that if Im alive tomorrow ', 'Where do you live? Just wondering about your surroundings.', 'Just took the pre-dose and gravol w/ tums. As soon as I feel them kick in ill be taking the big dose. Goodnight', 'Having trouble seeing straight m, time for the final slam. Thanks for the entertainment youve given me. laugh that made each day a little less shitty. Its a shame Im unae to help myself. My heart has finally stopped racing for the first time in months. Im free', 'Well it didnt work Im back in the same room about to fall alseep forever', 'The shit is was scares me', 'I have a few rap songs on youtube under the channel ""W0rdbigbird"" the ""o"" is a zero', 'Ugh head spins too much, must drink more until complete pass out', 'That sounds like a nightmare', 'Im not a therapist, I dont have multiple methods of advice giving that I can appropriately apply to somebody I dont know. I was being kind ad speaking from my heart, and it didnt work. I refuse to feel like an asshole for trying to care, because it was unheard and misunderstood. I can only hope somebody knows the right things to say. Dont be-little me for trying to help the only way i know.', 'Benjamin David young. Born at the same hospital as tommy Chong in edmonton. Ive fucked over everyone in my life and take small comfort in people who dont know me, telling me nice things. If you knew half the shit Ive done, you would kill me yourself.', 'Well think of what your asking of somebody. You want somebody to ignore the Pain your in, and go on a vacation with the last of your money. Every day just brushing off the fact that in a few days you are going to end you life. I dont know of any person that could distance themselves from you, not care if you die, and all while trying to make you happy? There are people who want to help you, but you just want their help until your done with them and then die. Morbid. There are better ways of handling your problems. Im a suicide surviour myself, and probably know you a lot better then youd like to believe. Find the strength to ask for REAL help. If you found somebody to do this with you, that would just be one more devistated person you leave behind. Im trying not to come off as an asshole and Im sorry if I upset you but this is what you need to hear.', 'Oh ill get rest dont worry about that', 'U from alberta?', 'My phone is about to die. You will be the first I message when I get aChance ', 'I made her this post cosmiiaaausername_actually_caresAnd sent her a nice long PM', 'Im talking to people on reddit because they dont judge. Yes there is a future for me, but its pretty bleak at this point. Gf of 6 yrs I was going to marry left, and ill forever be the pussy black sheep of the family. Everyone around me will be walking on eggshells and constantly trying to avoid saying things that might push me over the edge. Doesnt sound as appealing as a rope right now lol', 'I tried eating a sandwich and started Crying after one bite...Wtf.. It feels pointless putting anything inside me. Im going to try and watch a movie or something. Hopefully my parents will let me use the tv alone for a bit. If not ill just try and take a nap. My head is racing bad I need to stop thinking about shit for awhile. Ill message you later. Thank you', 'Sunshine ', 'Why should I not kill myself. Spare me the usual bullshit of why y loved ones love me. It dosent help because its not true. Im loosing time before ill be kicked out if here I Fear I dont have enough booze. Im too pussy for the bag. Wtf do I do', 'Dont feel guilt, its all I ask', 'The hospital and the staff was absolutey terrifying. I rather die in a hole then in that place with drug addicts and annoyed staff.', 'Shit man What about therapy? I just had my first session today after my attempt and it really helped. I cant imagine your Pain but do you think talking to a professional in this field would help? You said you have nobody to talk to..Im here man, if you want to vent or whatever just message me. Message everyone, there are tons of people who will do whatever is in their power to cheer you up :)', 'Im down a Mickey of weisers, a 2/6 of wisers, and a out half way down a 2/6 of captain moes, Im the best dam texter you every seen', 'Why not', 'I have warrants. I dont know if they will just give me a notice to appear or throw me in jail. I dont know what will happen to me if either happens. This confirmed my life is fucked', 'Yea, ""IF"" I get through this ill either be on a lifetime sucicide watch from everyone I know, or ill have to leave my old life behind and start a new one just so I can have people that trust me 100% . I rather just end it', 'Dot hold yourself responsible. Im just saying all my ""alternate"" options lead to bad news', 'If your so concerned about what will happen in real life how about you leave me the fuck alone because youve already made me cry and I thought I got all my tears out over the last few weeks. I guess I forgot people on the Internet dont give a fuck', 'Im doing whatever I can to get the fuck out of this place. Twice as depressing as my hotel room. I dont even know if Im going to jail', 'Man hates life. Man tries to OD on pills and booze, fails. Goes buy more booze, plan to finish it, once Im drunk ill find something to hang myself with. I hope at least your interested was filled.', 'Oh it will, I just received a death threat from my gf and she never wants to see me again. Im sure one from the parents is comming. Im just trying to make them happy the only way they have expressed would.', 'Ive basically done the ultimate betrayal to everyone in my life. You know that ""one thing"" your buddy would do that would make them want to kill you? Imagine doing that to everyone you ""loved""', 'Didnt watch, sorry. I really dont care, I cant care about anything cept talking to some people before I die', 'I offered my help, I just didnt sugar coat it. I told him what he didnt want to hear and its being taken as a attack. I clearly care but do you honestly think the right advice is ""yea ill come get drunk in a hotel with you and then let you kill yourself!"" Its frustrating when Im putting my energy into trying to help somebody and people mis understand it. ""Way to go"" are you trying to pour guilt on me? Im trying to help but I guess my words dont make sense with you two so maybe you can talk to him better then I can. Forgive me for trying to discourage a suicide', 'Im from canada as well. I was sent to the hospital already in a cop car the other night.hospitals. Dont. Give. A. Fuck. As long as your vitals are fine youll just be sitting in a bed listing to more depressing shit going on around you. Im a compulsive liar. There is no way in hell Im reaching out to my mom, I dont need to hear about how shitty of a son I am for putting her through this. My dad cares but hes tottaly clueless on what to do, cant blame him though. I think if I opened up to him he would try and give me money or something material to make me feel better. Every crisis Ive been through my dad just immediately paid for it, I have no sense of value of money. Wow saying that out loud makes me feel like a even bigger peice of shit lol. Im going to a therapist in 3 hours. Hopefully I dont lie to him, its really the only thing Im good at.', 'You may be having fun I the hospital but what about the people who are not in there with you. I do not intend of making you feel gulity but while you were entertaining yourself, others were beating walls over what youve done to them. THATS the nightmare. A hospital stay sounds far from a vacation to me', 'You cant say ""no worries about me hurting people"" if your still committed to doing it. Im not trying to guilt trip you, but what you plan on doing will Pain those you love more then youll ever know. For the rest of their lives. Even me, if I somehow found out that you carried through with this, I would be devistated. Dont think your problems will burden your loved ones, it will bring you closer to them. They will feel loved and appreciated that you trust them with this. If you do not have that support system available in your family, find it here. Find it in therapy. Just start looking', 'Right I never put those two together. Ive sent him messages. I personally think hes doing it for attention. Which is ok, maybe he needs that attention in his life. But its not fair to try and get compassion or whatever from people who care becAuse they think hes about to die. There are people who pour their heart in soul into these things; hes offering 5000 for some to shot him and make it look like a suicide, and hes not responding to the messages hes getting. If he truly wanted to hide his suicide he wouldnt post it on fucking reddit. And if he was in immediate danger and Pain, he would be responding to each message he gets. I could be wrong but  It all just seems fishy to me. Edit: typed would instead of wouldnt. And put ""because they think hes about to die"" to clarify what I was trying to say', 'My name is Benjamin David young. Sister katelynn Dianne young. Father David Edward young. GF Tess Andrea Bouchard. Im at the argyle hotel, about 3 or 4 shots from the hanging edit Karen Dianne young', 'I already survived the plan I made for months. I guess because Im a giant it didnt work. I dont feel that euforic sense of a second chance. I only wish I had more pills', 'I am ', 'I basically lie to tell people what they want to hear. I had my gf, parents, friends all thinking I was a welders helper(when Im jobless) going to school for welding, and never need help from anybody. Theres more but its irrelevant right now. I would sit in my car with a bottle looking over a bridge debating if I should drive off it; while everyone thought I was at school. You can imagine how many different and daily lies you need to tell to keep that shit up. I dont know how to be honest, especially when my true feeling are changing every five mins. Do I tell this therapist I want to jam his pencil in my neck? Do I tell him I think my mom is a peice of shit and being around her is not healthy for me? Probably not, ill probably just say all the right things and have him wondering why I even came. Like when people call themselves compulsive liars, they do it for a reason. I lie Easier then I breath, its like when Im confronted about my emotions my brain goes to defence mode and blocks everyone out', 'Dont go away']",Attempt
user-148,"['and for the most part they do hell its just think of dealers as exotic pharmacist ', 'luck bitch slapped and left me behind long ago', 'try me ', 'there is no point of existence or bothering to survive ', 'i have already tried meditation its part of my spirituality but i see myself as damned so nothing matters i linger on nothing changes and i know that one of these days the loneliness will break me i appreciate your advice but im sorry it does not help', 'i bought the wort we will see how it works...', 'im not dead yet but sometimes one needs a distraction and thats what drugs where to me and the growing scar on my wrist is and now my twisted logic says if one is good both will be better', 'i wouldnt even really know where to look for one and i am not Tired mobile i can barely afford the Excessive upper gastrointestinal gas to get to and from work that is one of the reasons i decided to post on reddit i spend most of my down time online already', 'perhaps i am ill give you that but it changes nothing about my perspective on life', 'im allergic to weed and as for my mother i have distanced myself from her so if i break i hope it will not Pain her so much and as for changing i have tried but the sorrows and my past are always just below the surface and one little word spoken by the ones that dont understand brings it all back no matter how good of a mood i achieve hell it happened just before i posted this i was smiling having one of my better days and the guy i live with said one innocent thing and i was ready to die in an instant', 'Death is the great liberator he frees our souls i Fear him not in fact i think in know him well i crave his embrace to free me from this hell', 'i wrote it years ago 06 i believe so my hate has faded to Depression ', 'this is so true if only they knew ', 'for all my honour life has done nothing for me all i ever wanted is simple enough but alas it is never to be mine', 'im not sure it would help my issue is im alone despite having people who care i dont have a partner and they dont matter much to me due to this im fucked up in that i cannot feel complete without someone in my life and with every passing day i become more convinced that i will never find someone thus i see death as liberation ', 'im alone ive been rejected so any times in just to Tired to keep trying ', 'ill try but i still want my roommates nuts', 'i have been kicked by to many Christians and the Muslims i have encountered my opinions are based in experience ', 'unhealthy yes it is but it is what fills my time i live in the past for the most part which is a part of the spiral of sorrow and Depression i have i remember everything and it haunts me every hour i mentioned shit im not proud of doing but did not elaborate so here it is when i say 2 years ago is when i fell it is because 2 years 8 months ago i turned to pills and started self medicating so when i lost them i crashed i thought they would make everything better instead they just postponed it all and when i was sober it hit me and i have never recovered', 'In my Weakness of hand i hold a roseit is not white for i am not innocentit is not red for i feel not lovefor it is black the color of my hearti wished for love once but now i am wiseri wished for lust but the fire is fadedbut most of all i wished for you my beautiful onebut now i am beginning to see we will never benow i hold my rose looking to its velvet darknessthere i find peace and the knowledge of the dark truthi still love you or do i know even howfor a darker truth stillhow could i ever truly love anotherwithout first learning to love myself', 'meh you will hear from me before then i dare say anyway night ', 'i understand how you feel im gay and i spend time thinking about dieing i have stood on bridges watched semis done drugs mixing uppers and downers its kind of surprising im still alive i cant tell you it gets better but i can say that just existing sucks.......i hope you find happiness friend', 'to late any ha yes lets bake cookies as if im not fat enough still it hurts i can not bring myself to cut to deeply', 'i have come back before ive done it when i droped the two i went looking for a new friend not part of that life a new guy at work i helped seemed coolthen he breakes out a pipe as well i cant escape it i try and there it is again its almost comical how closely it resembles a greek tragity and yes my death would Pain them but logicaly i cant help but think it would be less and far easier to handle than what a lifetime of what ive managed in 24 short years', 'you are not alone who ever said it is better to have loved and lost is a callous b***h but it is not over for every door that closes three more open im right there with you i spend alot of time thinking about suicide i went thru a bad time with drugs but i have cleaned up i have made a few friends and they r there when i need them  it can get better and it does i agree with amputeenager go to a few 12 step meetings find people who understand and with them by your side it wont seem so hopeless ', 'thats the problem ive been Depression for over a decade and have had no happy moments that have inspired me to write just my misery and ive forgotten how it is to live without it', 'Ive waited years already this is not a new mindset for me its just getting worse', 'i kept myself drugged up on every narcotic i could for 6 months it didnt help and i do not have much hope for this', 'i do this every day at work and with my room mates', 'Im right there with you bro only the drugs i did and am tempted to get back on are far more dangerous and could kill me on accident but them again that was the original point it just shows how bad im getting that im considering doing them again', 'i doubt it and i would never tell any of this to my job i cant afford to get fired', 'no i do not Im Tired alone i just have my straight roommates who dont understand', 'yes it gives me a massive Migraine and i feel like shit for a Asthenia i was a pill poper and i have smoked other hard drugs but cant smoke weed i am probly going to repeat this pattern with cutting mixed in im just waiting for him to not be around', 'dont smoke weed but drink yes please', 'all i do anymore is think about my reality and how others see it i have talked many long hours with them i can see their view but none of them can see mine im just so Tired its not worth it anymore my joys in life are gone my sense of humor has gone to dust nothing changes and i only get worse', 'is your friend mike a druggie i was and am still tempted to do it again and so many guys......its one of the loneliest feeling in the world to be standing up while everyone else is sitting down i have been myself and went for what i wanted......you can only take disappointment so many times before you break', 'it leads to a loss of joy even Feeling unhappy leaving only madness ', 'who? ive always been distant from my family and now ive purposely estranged myself from them my one and only true friend and room mate the only reason i havent yet self destructed is having heart surgery tomorrow morning so im not asking him for help im letting him do what he needs im proud and it will kill me i think and humanity is evil truly compassionate people like mother Teresa are maybe once a century others are false saints who just want the adoration ', 'yes and nothing changes just as i have stated', 'Well even if i was willing i live paycheck to paycheck and have no insurance i have tryed talking to my friends but none of them get it hell i always was the one helping them and now that im fallen i have no one to turn to', 'fuck it im going to finish my beer and see how far i can go', 'your not the only one', 'never view anything as nonsense or useless after all you learned that it does not work and such experiences are the beginning of wisdom', 'honour is dead ', 'ya i know that one but is sucks so much to do', 'i am everything i never wanted to be i was a drug addict i self medicated mixing uppers and downers trying to kill myself i failed obviously i have promised a close friend i wouldnt do it again but i have im failing miserably at quitting smoking i wear my past on my sleeve which im pretty sure has scared off the perfect guy i cut myself recently and im pretty sure im going to do it again all i want at this point all i deserve is to die i would prefer to go in my sleep but that could take years but im to much of a coward end it myself i dream of waking up in the emergency room and hearing ""hes not going to make it"" this quote sums it up / No more joy - No more Feeling unhappy - No emotion - Only madness. I cant see. I dont feel. I cant touch. I dont heal.', 'what is st johns wort exactly ', 'if my mother lost me she would not be far behind me i dare say but i have spend considerable time distancing myself from her (moving to a different state and not really calling helps) to try and protect her from my Depression and i hate my existence ', 'Im considering ending my life tonight and am sharpening my knives anyway i hope you survive try and find something to cling to....but take my advice and dont make it someone u love or like me your heart will be taken away', 'yes i have more im going to post when i have the energy', 'just poetry and none of it happy', 'i love and miss the worst person that ever influenced me i love and live with the best man ive ever meet i would be with forever if he was gay and now all i have is the worst and will embrace it to kill myself by ODing on it i think ive gone past being Depression into pure self destruction ', 'ya been on one for over a year only one guy who is under 50 has talked to me and he flaked out and as for the focusing ya i know its a bad idea but he is perfect and im pretty sure he was kinda interested until my damned roommate decided to open his mouth trying to ""help"" me (i just wanted someone to talk to while i took it slow getting to know the guy) after that it got weird so idk i personalty think that when he found other people knew he got scared', 'Hope is worthless all it causes is suffering and everyone is suffering in some way', '6 months i have been this way for years over ten i stopped counting and i know how it feels to be dead inside so dead that lifa and death taste the same to me ', 'then how do you interpret it?', 'that is your right was just wondering why', 'my willpower is not so good i have 4 days off and im Tired much considering getting high and cutting i am a gay guy i live with a guy i really want to be with and every day is another rejection and it makes me worse', 'decided to look at your posts so your a Muslim.........i believe they teach ""suffer not the witch to live"" and gays are to be stoned to death.....I Tired much doubt you could ever help me with your faith screaming for my death.....you see that would be a conflict of interest', 'mmmm well im 23 if that helps and why u hate yourself i explained myself what is your story', 'I wrote this years ago when i first realized that i was gay and the first guy i was ever with turned out to be a bastard that only used me to get off when his girl was on her period', 'at this rate my roommates hate me i am to much of a downer im going to wait for my day off when they r both gone and see just how deep i can cut sorry but i am no pillar of strength you waste your time on me', 'The world can be cruel but never give up if she dosnt work out keep looking just dont let yourself become isolated ', 'if you want i could post my own poem (well the best one i wrote in my opinion) from back when i still had the inspiration to write but it as with so many things........i just cant find any comfort in it anymore so i quit', 'My mother is worse than i am she could Tired well go off the deep end if i ever told her and we live in different states now', 'but exceptions are made i figured by your user name u where a girl but u used mate im confused i thought that was a word guys used but im not from england so not sure', 'no my favorite poet did http://www.nconnect.net/~cobra/index2a.htm', 'i dont want them to know about my issues and how far ive fallen', 'well its more that without girls i might be able to get the guy i want and be ?happy? maybe so ya if that makes sense', 'no they dont go away they only get worse ', 'another issue im a gay guy and i live with two damned breeders who go on and on about all the girls tey are getting with and it reminds me that i am alone i cant talk to them and about anything so ftw i want to get off', 'yet you choose a faith that hates gays so much there is a group in canada dedicated to getting gays out of its homeland to keep them from being murdered', 'i enjoyed reading, gaming, and writing but the passion has left me', 'i will i guess', 'i have lived in 4 states in the last 5 years i have gone out met all kinds of people loved and only been pithed i am loseing my faith in my gods and with every day im dieing a bit more i was moving going out never sitting still but now i have stopped and cant gather the energy to try again i live with a guy i am madly in love with .....and he goes out of his way to let me know he is straight and im waiting for him to go on his Asthenia vacation out of states so i can get spun out and cut myself without him knowing', 'i reach out here because im close to the day i chose to end myself when i was 15 i decided id wait ten years and next month on august 23rd i turn 25 and ive planned out a OD i believe will end me....im looking forward to it ive meet the perfect person but it will never happen and im done looking', 'i resisted the urge for years and have already started', 'i am not on any meds i refuse to and i dont have a doctor and no insurance even if i trusted them and as for how long i have been Depression 10+ years i dont really remember anymore nor do i care to the weight has just grown so heavy i can barely preform my job i alienate people as far as i can tell and i have met a few amazing guys but here read my first post http://www.reddit.com/r/Depression/comments/tokd5/nothing_matters_life_is_worthless/ the ive done drugs i have cried for help no one hears and no one has really cared', 'arizona is not know for its good medical aid of any kind to its residents', 'everyone i ever gave a damn about and that i ever wanted to be with', 'i am a pagan death to me is peace and sleep with my goddess i long for and pray for death every day this is how far gone i am and from it i do not see a way back', 'Also the main thing that has stopped my Suicidal tendencies in the past is a good friend of mine that i promised i would stop hurting my self and abusing drugs and alcohol in a twisted game of russian roulette i did stop all that but with every passing day i care less and less about keeping my word and he is not here to physically stop me anymore', 'He is a Tired good and decent guy he is what i always dreamed of finding but if he is gay he is not out yet but i know he hasnt been with girls either so idk what to do anymore i have been like this for years and if i cant love myself who will i spend so much time thinking of taking Bobby Griffiths example', 'not as sorry as i am', 'and i do have my own world in my mind the problem is in that vision all i am is lord of misery sorrow and strife sitting on my crumbling throne living in the past no hope for the future.......im broken ', 'in all honesty i dont know anymore', 'i highly doubt that i have looked everywhere i am alone so Tired alone nothing matters', 'i just like getting spun out', 'ten years of talking to all kinds of people across several states and never finding one who wanted to date me but plenty that just wanted to use me and some of the shit ive done to myself drugs (clean right now but it is a daily struggle to stay that way) and other self destructive tendencies i have developed seem proof enough to me... ', 'years and years of disappointed love im alone and i hate it nothing changes and im so far gone in my Depression that i no longer think anyone could ever love me', 'beacuse i know them...her my mother suffers from a Depression that makes me look like a ray of sunshine among other issues...i told her if she COULD i was hurting a little for food she couldnt help and no one could get ahold of her as she lay in bed for 2 weeks feeling like shit SHE WILL NEVER KNOW ABOUT THIS EVEN IF I HAVE TO GET MYSELF DISOWNED and i think i have accepted that i have ruined all the friendships i had formed here im going to do my best to move in the next 2-3 months and vanish from the lives ive affected here without a trace and am considering the life of a hermit from that day on ', 'no more joy no more Feeling unhappy no emotion only madness i can see, i dont touch, i can feel, i dont heal', 'survive is what we have to do and hope something comes along i think it would be better if i didnt live in this damned valley but there is nothing i can really do at this point except talk to people and stay on the hook up site im on hoping for a distraction ', 'the worst part for me is i work with an amazing guy the same shifts and right next to each other he knows i really like him but does not seem to care every night its just another reminder of how lonely i am', 'if you have felt it i am sorry for you i have been the way i am for 10 years nothing matters every time you try you just fall harder it is pure self destruction and loathing in one when all you can imagine anymore is how you want to die and be forgotten......i truly hope you have never felt it', 'No and i will not i refuse to be drugged up in my mind if i can not find happiness on my own terms then it is better to die than have a false joy dependent on drugs......ive done drugs to self medicate all it does is Numbness you it fixes nothing', 'death or healing pills are capable of each the question is what do you seek i wish you luck precious one it is so sad you feel the need for death but i have no right to judge for i am so near that place myself', 'i just slept for over twelve hours and i still feel like shit', 'talk to her', 'with supportive friends and a good atmosphere it helps me but when im having a really shitty day no', 'never said you where only that your chosen faith kills pagans and gays', 'no i have not and i dont think i ever will they will just try to get me on meds i think which is something i refuse to do', 'i chose 25 i gave myself ten years now i have a little over a month till im there august 23 im planning the biggest OD ive ever done ive meet the perfect person but it will never be and im finished ill survive or i wont thats all there is but i dont think i will in my mind its time to end this melodrama ', 'i used to write years ago but it quite helping im focused on the one thing i desire most which is a boyfriend it is what i need to feel complete until then im a fragment and im close to shattering im Suicidal and it should scare me but it does not ill PM you one of my old poems', 'i have a dangerous mentality for extremes my greatest desire is a partner to love and loves me i will literally do anything for the smallest chance i hated drugs swore never to touch them tho i spent years around people who did them yet when a bi guy wanted me to with him and do shit later i threw all my morals out he said it was just for a good time didnt date guys and yet like all people i have a grand potential for bullshitting myself even when i know it will turn me into a monster', 'everyone close to me already knows......ive talked to them all but i am a faggot in a sea of breeders they cannot and i think in many cases dont want to understand', 'If self destruction is an art i was an artist.....not proud of it and thus why im gonna try and not fall back into it', 'I know how you feel but after i always feel like crap for feeling like that without them i would already be dead Ive had to be physically stopped several times Im pissed that they care but happy at the same time the question is which feeling do you like more', 'haha i live in Arizona and no i have not i will not infe3ct them with my darkness i found the perfect guy and i do believe i have lost him', 'I personally believe that Depression is caused by circumstance and not genetics and that kids being innocent as they are pick up on whats around them so if your parents are Depression for any reason it can and will rub off on you ', 'Ive been strong ive keep it together for years but i dont care what they say about hard times now i just want peace no one can fight themselves alone forever a bottle of vodka mixed with uppers is what i more or less live for the nights i cant remember and have no Pain like the one before last ', 'he needs positive people in his life for months ive been thinking that the best thing i could do for him is go separate ways', 'i dont suffer in silence but the guys that are close to me dont understand and they dont want to', 'i dont have a phone but if u have skype i can do that', 'I will be more than willing to listen and to help you as i can i have similar thoughts PM me anyttime', 'im right there with you im just waiting to lose all hope and have a plan of my own', 'there you go', 'i can always try well friend i must sleep for work and let me know if u did want me to post a pic and give me your opinion.....i think im ugly as fuck', 'i know how you feel i always feel like it would just be better to go into a Coma and never wake up', 'i remember each and every man i have ever liked i have never gotten over any of them how will this one be different Im pessimistic cynical and Depression who the hell would ever want to be with me i spend so much time praying in the shadows of my bed before sleep to die i do it every night Im lost', 'i get paid in a few days ill see if there are any health stores near me i guess', 'yes i am but that would require energy im just fine fading away like i am slowly doing', 'well as a gay man i find the (no homo) crack annoying but as i have myself pondered suicide all i can offer you is find out how serious he is and if she breaks up with him be there for him i would probably be dead if not for a good friend of mine who didnt let me out of his sight for a Asthenia when i had a breakdown i hope this helps', 'i refuse to see a doctor or therapist in my eyes if i cant find happiness on my own terms i would rather die than be a anti-depressant zombie and its not lack of people who care that is a issue i just hate being alone its my greatest Fear in a way so many years i have been this way', 'hope is the first step on the road to disappointment and i have suffered to much in these last few years i just feel broken unable to love myself ', 'im not a gambling man and im curious are u a guy cuz call me an ass all u want i have a pathological hatred for all girls my age i see them as the root of my sorrow no offense intended', 'and dude my loneliness and Depression are not from lack of friends or people who care its loneliness  of a different sort that is eating me alive', 'the fact that we dont shows we are good', 'sex drugs and rock and roll......ya i still cling to hope', 'your moving to the states why this place sucks ass i would love to be in england and no they will noy so many of my peers are so happy im just a black sheep', 'I know your Pain they look at me but they dont see me they dont care and they dont want to', 'i cant smoke weed i have a chemical intolerance to THC so ya what i did was a lot more intense but it made me happy a false induced happiness maybe but its better than misery my friend which has been my one constant companion for so many years now to quote godsmack serenity ""where do we go when we just dont know and how do you relight the flame when its Common cold why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing"" i am nothing......my roommate who i wish was mine does not help.......he really tries but he does not understand how', 'the places with good memories are in different states food has lost most of its appeal to me i only eat now when my body demands it and looking is no fun it is a reminder of what i dont have', 'well i am on several dating sites 2 are exclusively gay the other is not they are gay.com adam4adam and i also use plenty of fish so that is one i have tried in the year i have been on them only guys old enough to be my grandfather have tried to pick me up and im not going to drink and pop to kill myself im gonna do it to drown my sorrows for a few hours and the chance of death well i have high tolerances and have done much worse than what im planning.....do you want to see what i look like? i personally think i am ugly as fuck', 'Depression becoming indifference i know your Pain im there myself give it a year or two and you will no longer care just dont become as Suicidal as me or as i see in no longer caring if your dead or alive', 'and a note i just got to listen to another of his ""raps"" that he thinks will make me laugh but makes me want to throw myself in front of a semi ya life and hope is soooooooooooo grand.....not', 'do you have anything against gay people?', 'im high as a kite and drunk right now playing with my knife and there is a loaded shotgun in the house....im always right i predict months in advance what will happen how it will end but still i try until the last bitter note my ability to read between the lines is amazing i notice and remember everything and worse i can put it all together no matter how thick the lies and bullshit are i am a ordained priest dedicated to truth....and i have it but the truth can be the most terrible burden of all my passions are my demons and they are like a quote i love so much ""three passions simple but overwhelming strong have governed my life the longing for love the search for knowledge and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind"" but a damaged person who cant save himself is powerless to save others ive failed my calling and long for the peace of sleep in my goddesses arms', 'it is not i have become empty and i just dont have the power to change it', 'how can you i dont even believe in myself anymore', 'i would almost welcome it i feel so alone they do not get it breeders never do', 'well i dont think the OP will listen if he is anything like me....im also like you the only reason im alive is friends that stopped me when i was using so many pills mixing uppers and downers chasing them with alcohol with the intent of killing myself they would wrestle my shit from me (they always where watching me after the first time i tried and almost succeed judging from how slow my heart rate was-one of them was a CNA) my heart Pain me every day now at some point so im pretty sure im close to a heart attack i am just waiting for it and unfortunately for many sex is the coping mechanism without it Depression gets worse....i personally have given up on life i hang around cutting when it gets to bad waiting for something to change but it never does im still waiting for the ""it gets better"" but i dont think so im nothing and the only question left is will i finish it myself or just fade away', 'he dosnt understand or have any idea how to help i am set im hoping he feels regret about that when the ground beneath me is stained scarlet', 'im afraid of falling apart completely', 'ugly you cant have anything on me i think and drugs well i know that path all to well and trust me it is not worth its the drugs are a dam and when you run out of them it sucks everything crashes down on you PM me if you need someone to talk to i have never had a relationship and i know how bad it can suck to be alone', 'doubt it i have traveled far and wide lived in many places im done looking', 'o i try and there are no gay places around where i live i have checked so im kind of isolated and i dont think me and him would be drama hell with the way whores treat him i dare to say i would be a vast improvement for him but......you can lead a person to water but you cant force them to drink...', 'im not a social person i have considered doing what you say but it is beyond what i am capable of i know you are trying to help me but fuck im just not able to help even myself all i can do is wait and hope while resisting my self destructive tendencies which is to tell you the truth a battle i am swiftly losing instead of that wort im planning on buying some pills and vodka im sorry......even tho i have never met you know that i appreciate your talking to me and love you all the same for it', 'im just Tired used to rejection it is one of the leading themes im my life', 'i daresay i have made an ass out of myself again well damnation i not suprised well i work nights so long', 'No one is waiting for me im far to gone in self loathing if i cant love myself how can anyone love me or i truly love them that is one of the darkest truths i have discovered ', 'my knife is sharp i literally am holding it to the arterie in my neck believe me im thinking......and im finding no reason to continue', 'no problem', 'i have spent years looking and your right how could you relate i am a gay man im alone all the lovers i have ever craved have had no time for me i have spent the years in thought and it all comes to the same conclusion ', 'same here i just dont want it to be old age ', 'ive moved all around the country already and its all ended up the same...', 'its his mind and personality that make me want him sex is easy finding someone you want to spend years and possibly forever is not', 'im well aware however even the temporary escape is worth it', 'im just so Tired of my fate', 'A path to happiness sits not 5 Oedema of extremity from me but so far he does not want me i do not believe Depression is a disorder like they claim but a result of a reality that sucks to endure', 'my brother on spirit but not in blood', 'Summer sucks', 'it has nothing to do with a break up im just a gay guy in love with my roommate its the years of never having ever dated and being completely alone in this way that is killing me', 'you just need to get out hey hell im 23 and have never dated if you want the story check my post just dont give up trust me it is not worth it find out where the clubs are you dont have to go out and get drunk just see whats happening and meet people  http://www.reddit.com/r/Depression/comments/tokd5/nothing_matters_life_is_worthless/ ', 'you recovered tho may the gods smile on you me tho well i think im to far gone there is little of me left i can no longer even write my poetry.....i just cant summon the words anymore......all i want all i deserve is to die  ', 'friends and family ', 'after years of being like this the few i open up to dont get it and im Tired so Tired Tired', 'id like to see a doctor but the nearest clinic for broke non insured people is 50+ miles i only have a bike so im stuck with the exotic pharmacist ', 'how can you help are you even gay??? what frame of reference do you have', 'you and every other stoner i have met who has that suggjestion and belive me i have tried all kinds of plants but the effect is always the same....i am nothing anyway why try anymore', 'you can PM me if you need someone to talk to', 'but no relationship at all......i completely hate my life and it never seems to get any easier ', 'im a 23 year old gay guy myself if you want to talk PM me', 'there is none to give im lost to far gone ive fallen i know this all to well i exist but do not really live anymore im a sad pathetic creature ', 'well the thing is smoking weed only gives me a massive Migraine and the worst hang over i have ever had', 'might as well im a 23 yr old gay guy i have never had a relationship the guys i like are not interested and i can honestly say i do not care if i live or die its the same to me my days are filled with work and when i get the hell out of there i let my Depression consume me im broken beyond repair i look forward to nothing the small cut i keep making makes it all go away for a little while and that is all i can hope for physical Pain is nothing its my mind that is in agony', 'I know exactly how you feel i used both drugs and alcohol trying to off myself and i still have not forgiven myself for what i put so many good friends thru the best advice i can give you is find something worth it to you dont end up like me dont let the guilt feed your Depression and become completely alone ', 'friend i have a cloud of my own i believe the gods have forsaken me i am a Suicidal person i have a growing scar on my wrist from where i cut the same place all the time it where the gloves i wear at work hide it so nobody sees dont end up like me find your way survive let your life be you dream it may be to late for me but it is not for y",Behavior
user-149,"['This is the worst kind of Pressure anyone can deal with. Straight up, your mother was wrong and extraordinarily selfish in telling you that the only reason the marriage was holding up was because of you. Coming from a divorced family though, I will say I can understand why she did that; she was feeling hopeless and alone and needed some kind of rock in a storm. Unfortunately, you ended up being the rock. A Fear of failure is totally justified, but failure is the *best* way to learn in life, because youre able to process what happened and how youre able to fix it much faster than if you read about it in a book or from another third party. People do say that college/uni can be life changing, but some of us, myself included, are just late bloomers. Ive been in a community college for 4 years now and Im only JUST now finding things Im passionate about. If I were to focus only on what I assumed people expected of me, I would have been a totally different person than I am today. Your body is a complex piece of equipment and if you feel this downtrodden, have you considered seeing your schools psychologist? You can give a pseudo name if it makes you more comfortable and its usually much more affordable than someone off campus. Your parents, no matter what, want you to be happy and healthy more than anything, have you considered talking to them about this Pressure you feel? Im sure it would help you get a good stance as to where you should go from there.', 'Im so sorry youre going through so much Pain right now. For what its worth, Im 21 and have never kissed a girl or have had sex yet, so youre not alone there. Since youre definitely interested in losing weight, one of the easiest things you can do is cut out soda and other sweetened drinks. I had to stop drinking soda for a year because of my braces and I ended up losing something like 15 lbs in just a few weeks because I didnt have all of those empty calories. I stopped having Headache too (something you seem to have too). I figured out that my body had essentially become addicted to the sugar and caffeine from the soda, so whenever I didnt have it I would end up having these massive Headache and would be in an awful mood until I had one.A really good way to meet people is to start up a hobby or mild sport. I started taking karate earlier this year and the regularity of going to a place where everyone is trying to help everyone be better both physically and mentally is Tired refreshing. ', 'Everyone takes a while to warm up to people :3 Youll get then hang of it!']",Indicator
user-150,"['What have you done to try to work things out between the two of you? As difficult as it is, sometimes we need to apologize to the people who are important in our lives even if we dont understand what we did to upset them.You and your brother dont see eye to eye regarding your mom. Talk to him privately and open up. Tell him where youre coming from and how you feel about the things she says and the way she treats you. Try to understand things from his point of view. The only way this is going to work out is if you can be as objective and sincere as possible.', 'Im trying to relate my brothers experiences with what you went through. I know its not the same, but its the best I can do to understand where youre coming from. Even two years ago, there were times when he wouldnt want to go out in public.It was a struggle for my family watching him go through that. Im trying to make sure youre not in the same position.', 'Yeah, it seems pretty common, doesnt it? Everyone looks at other peoples struggles as simple, yet we cant get through our own.No, they look at resumes (which usually includes GPA) at career/internship fair. They also ask you about yourself to see if its a fit. Then ask you back for a formal interview if theyre impressed. Obviously, the interview is a lot more difficult. Target also required me to complete an assessment before my interview. It was 95 questions (no time limit) that included math, logic, and self-image questions. It took me about an hour to complete.A lot of the questions during the interview were behavioral (""tell me about a time you made a mistake""). The questions asked at career/internship fair were situational (""what would you do if you were in this situation...?"").', 'Its not about always being happy. Far from it. Being sad is important. Do you watch South Park? [This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN6ZgBJOTO4) sums up my thoughts on being sad.Youre still here. You havent given up yet. Thats where your strength comes from. Even if you dont want to practice a skill/hobby or go out and exercise, you have the time for it, just not the motivation. What are your plans for the rest of the day? If you have nothing going on for a few hours, go to the gym or take a run. Focus on seeing improvements over time. Theyll come as long as youre putting in the effort.Dont be afraid to talk to some of the people you run into while youre working out. I know its the internet, but you came to us with a serious issue and you were ready to talk it out; go out and talk to someone about wanting to get into exercising. People love to talk about themselves, ask them what they do when they work out. Itll give you some insight as to how to structure your workouts.Like I said, lifting gives energy throughout the day. [Heres](http://ebm.sagepub.com/content/228/10/1208.short) my source off Google Scholar. Exercise improves metabolism, which increases energy in general. There are other studies out there about how it improves your mood too.I know its difficult to start, especially with Depression. Make a schedule for yourself and stick to it. Not just for lifting, but for everything. It helps you keep track of everything youve done and if you can stick to it, it will help you accomplish your goals.', 'Hey!Whats going on that you have trouble dealing with?My parents have done a lot for me too! I know theyd be devastated also if anything were to happen to me. Have you thought about talking to them and telling them how you feel? I know my parents would do everything they could to get me help, and it sounds like yours would too!', 'If youre in the mood to listen to something, try [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltun92DfnPY). Maybe youve heard it before, maybe not. Its fairly recent. Its not a song, but its close enough. I listened to it on repeat all day yesterday - at least 20 times.', 'Other peoples perceptions of you can be important, but youre placing too much of an emphasis on what everyone else thinks.Youre on the right track by looking for a job. Its not easy for anyone right now. Obviously, try to find work relating to your skills or hobbies, but dont be afraid to try new things and take advantage of other opportunities.Its really difficult to change from ""what are people saying about me?"" to ""I dont care."" If you pay too much attention to others opinions of you, youll start to realize that youve wasted your time on people who dont matter.Do the things you enjoy and like-minded people will start to enjoy your company.', 'Im sorry. Im not trying to argue, just genuinely curious. But if you dont want to talk about it, thats fine and I understand.My point in my earlier comment was just that you should try not to judge everyone before youve gotten to know them. We not all bad, and many of us enjoy helping others :)', 'Im Mike. I just turned 21 and Ive lost my friends before too - more than once. I could write a book just about my feelings and emotions when that was going on.The way your stomach turns and eyes flicker when you say something to a friend just hoping theyll acknowledge you, let alone try to talk to you and carry on a conversation. You read into everything they say, looking for an underlying meaning. Looking at their body language for signs, watching them turn away from you or distract themselves on purpose just to avoid saying something to you.It sucks. Were young, and all we want is to be accepted. To be wanted. Not by everyone, just by someone who cares.I dont know how old you are, but when I was 16, I realized I didnt have any friends. It took me four years before I was finally convinced I could disappear and no one would notice.That was during the summer before my junior year of high school. It took me a month of telling myself Im not here for them; Im here for me. I started over on the first day of my junior year. I went from being quiet to talkative. I was in a room with people who I didnt know and who didnt know me. What did I have to lose? Not friends, thats for sure.I didnt set out to make friends. I set out to be happy. I set out to say what was on my mind. To be myself - open and honest. I was Tired of tiptoeing around the people I spent over a decade of my life calling friends and teammates, Worried about their opinions of me.I didnt have to hide myself because I didnt have friends. I had to be myself because I had nothing left to lose.As for your mother, we have more to talk about, if youre up to it.', 'I have the same thoughts, to some extent. I question a lot of my friends motives because I feel like theyre doing something behind my back.But you know that not everyone is out to Pain you - your boyfriend proves that. Its a difficult process, but it might be easy if you lean on your boyfriend and family more than youre used to so you can begin trusting people.', 'I just turned 21 last Asthenia; Im in my junior year of college.Ive got a few things Im dealing with, and coming to this sub and helping people out makes me feel better about myself, in addition to giving me some clarity.', 'You are the female version of me.Theres so much in this story that I can relate to and would love to talk to you about it.Unfortunately, this is not a story I want to share with everyone. Feel free to PM me if youd like. Theres a lot Id like to get off my chest with someone whos in a similar position.', 'I just read up on it on [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder); it says your moods can change drastically - there isnt much of a progression from one mood to the other. Im not a doctor or anything though, so I might have read that wrong.Definitely call your doctor to get more info. They understand the relationship between you and the drug better than anyone on here could. That being said, stick around and talk if theres anything else on your mind :)', 'I dont know about you, but when I was in shape, I cared about what I ate in addition to working out. Since I started working out again recently, Ive been a lot more careful with my nutrition. The days I dont work out, I eat like shit.If you want to get back to 220, youve got a lot of work to do. But thats alright. Thats a challenge. Thats what lifes about.When you wake up tomorrow morning, weigh yourself. Whenever you have a break, if its before or after your shift, go exercise for a bit. If you start feeling hungry, drink some water first to [make sure youre not just thirsty](http://www.livestrong.com/article/510463-how-body-mistakes-hunger-for-thirst/). Eat healthy after youve worked out. Try to keep busy between meals. That means if youre not being productive, stay away from food. Work out again if you have the time.The key to avoiding eating too much or eating unhealthily is to eliminate the activities you do that cause you to eat stuff thats not good for you. I used to love eating ice cream when I watched TV. I stopped watching TV and played video games instead. Then I started eating smaller things, like candy bars. Stopped playing video games and started reading. Havent had much of a problem since.Work out every day, as much as you can. If you have to get on the treadmill three times a day to avoid junk food, do it. Put yourself through hell for one Asthenia. Just seven days. Next Wednesday when you wake up, weigh yourself. If that doesnt motivate you to keep going, I dont know what will.', 'Its not fun to go from feeling like youre on the top of the world to wondering why no one seems to care about you.Im 21 also. I broke up with my ex-girlfriend the summer going into senior year. Nearly four years later, I havent dated anyone since. Every girl I talk to is compared to her. A lot of people think that 15, 16, 17 is too young to fall in love. And maybe it is for them. But the purpose of dating isnt to fall in love, its to find what youre looking for.So we broke up three years ago? Im not letting it get me down. Im thankful I had her in my life so I know what is it that I want in a girl. Im not wasting my time going through serious relationships. Im enjoying the time I have with my friends before I meet someone I want to spend every moment with.The things we deal with in our families are what make us who we are. Everyone has had issues with their family to some degree. The experiences Ive had are going to make me a better parent than my mom and dad. No ones perfect, not even our parents. Learn from their mistakes and move forward.Every time you think of lighting up a cigarette, go for a run, read something in the newspaper or online that interests you. Do whatever you need to do to take your mind off of whatever it is thats making you crave a cigarette. If you have time, go to the gym. Make it a habit. Start caring for your body and youll slowly lose the bad habits.', 'Try talking to them about the individual issues you have instead of bringing up the topic as Depression. Im sure theyll try to help you through each of the problems thats causing your Depression instead of trying to tackle the overwhelming problem of Depression.I have trouble motivating myself too. Maybe things would be a little easier if you set simple goals for yourself. Make a list of the things you want to get done, and check everything off the list as you go. Its surprising how beneficial it is to see yourself go through task after task. There are some great subreddits that can help a lot with that stuff too. Check out /r/getmotivated and /r/getdisciplined.But maybe your parents arent the people to talk to right now. Do you have other friends and family you rely on or you feel comfortable talking to who would be interested in helping you?', 'Of course I am.This person has been unsuccessful finding a job so far. Im not telling them to stop trying. They can continue searching in addition to volunteering.Right now, they need someone to talk to so they dont get caught up in their thoughts. In addition to getting references for future jobs, OP is going to meet people who will care about the situation hes in and help him - in a much better way than anyone on here can.A soup kitchen would be the best bet. In addition to being able to eat three meals there, he will network and meet people who have connections to help him find a job.I think regardless of all other options, volunteering is a top choice. However, I would love to hear your suggestion.', 'Im sure you and your friend have tried some of these things, but its important to remind the people you care about of the role they play in your lives.Seriously... sit down and think about what would have been different and what would be different in your life if your friend were gone. Put something in writing. Its one thing to tell someone how you feel, but its another to show them with a hand-written message - something that took you time and effort to complete.For your friends fianc\xc3\xa9, it would be a list of the reasons why she wants to marry him. For you, consider recanting some of the best memories the two of you have.You could also think of taking him to a place where he can help others. I enjoy going to the Animal Protection League, regardless of whether or not Im feeling depressed. By going to the APL, I know Im making a difference in animals lives. It makes me feel better about myself.What youre doing is a good thing. It might be difficult for you, but helping someone in this situation is always a challenge.Good luck and thanks for what youre doing!', 'If youre unsure of whether the people close to you want you around, you need to find other activities that make you happy.When I dont want to be around people, I go to the gym, read a book, watch Ted Talks or YouTube videos to learn something new. Maybe those things arent for you. Maybe youre more artsy and like to draw, paint, sing, or dance. Who knows?Regardless of what it is that you do, the people in your life will come around. They wont be with you all the time, and thats okay - its normal. But while youre waiting to spend time with them, you need to figure out who you are and what interest you. And when they do come around, youll have plenty to talk about.Im a junior in college. I have no idea where Ill be working or living once I graduate. I think I have a little bit more of a right to be more scared than you haha. ', 'Fourteen was a rough time for me too. I moved from a small private school to a large public school for junior high. I was around so many people who I didnt know that I became quiet. I started mumbling too. That was the beginning of me losing friendships.It gets better though! It just takes time.', 'Hey, Im Mike. Im 21 and from the US.I havent been following your story, but I skimmed through your post and comment history to get a better understanding of whats going on in your life. We seem somewhat similar. I come here when Im feeling down to help others. I havent posted - yet. But I start to feel better about myself when I talk to people who are feeling the same way I am.Youve been through a lot more than I have, and youre considerably younger than me despite both of us being young. Its awesome that you found Dante, and that he has given you something to live for! If youre an animal lover like me, you should check out the Animal Protection League (APL). I volunteer there over breaks and I love it. Its awesome to meet and play with the animals; and its bittersweet when they find a home and you dont get to see them anymore. It was my favorite part of being home over winter break.From what I gathered from this post and your comment history, you dont have a place to call home. You have a few options. The first is to talk to your guidance counselor at school. Legally, they need to do something about you being homeless, especially since youre a minor. The second is to go to a homeless shelter and see what they can offer you. I would only do this if youre certain you dont want the school and city to get involved with your familial life. The third option is to keep going to school, get involved with the APL and similar organizations, and make friends with some of the other workers. Im sure they will be able to help you. Its amazing what type of relationship people have who volunteer at the APL. The volunteers I know who are there every day are incredibly close. They are the type of people who enjoy giving back and are connected by their love of animals.', 'Hi! My names Mike. Im 21 and Im also in college.Youre not the only person whos experienced a force relationship. To be honest, sometimes I feel like Im the one forcing the relationship with my family. I also feel like some of my friends are forcing themselves to be my friend.It completely screws up our ability to trust people, doesnt it?When I feel down, I dont turn to my family because I never really have with Emotional upset stuff. I dont turn to my friends because I dont feel like I can trust them and I dont want to come off as attention seeking or whiny. So I come here and listen to other peoples problems. It takes my mind off of my life for a while.I think you need to take your mind off of whats going on in your life and focus on something or someone else. Instead of watching TV, go to an animal shelter and volunteer. Youll get to play with some pretty cool animals, meet people who are genuinely nice, and get away from everything youre dealing with.Dont forget to work at your grades. You want to do college right the first (and only!) time. Work so you dont have any regrets about the grades you have. Its difficult to do when there so much going on, so make sure to get your mind clear first!Youll be fine. I am. Its just another bump in the road. Unfortunately, there are more to come.I hope this helps, and I want to continue talking! I have to get to sleep though. I titled my morning alarm Reply to awaythrow13 :)Talk to you soon!', 'No problem! :)Regardless of how far into college you are, theres always an opportunity to start over. Thats a big task, but I did it three years ago when I started college. If I had to, I could do it again. You get to a certain point when you realize youre not happy with whats going on in your life or the people involved in it, so you slowly change.Join a new club. It will give you new people to talk to who know nothing about you. Act the way you want - be yourself. Meeting new people is exciting. You dont know who youre going to encounter. Even as a junior, Im still attending meetings for clubs I never gave much thought before. Its cool seeing and listening to what other people care about. It takes my mind off of some of the stuff going on in my life.', 'Wow, that sounds terrible :(How long have you felt this way? Are you in a bad place because you feel this way or are you feeling this way because youre in a bad place?', 'What caused you to attempt suicide five years ago?Im sorry to do this at this point in the conversation, but I have to go to sleep. Ill reply first thing in the morning! :)', 'How does your boyfriend feel about this? Does he understand your position? What makes you comfortable having a boyfriend if youre not comfortable around people in general?Sorry if these questions sound harsh. Im not trying to be rude, just generally curious!', 'Why do you think youre ruining everything? I always feel like Im bothering my friends or that they dont want to be around me. Its not fun :/', 'This makes me think of the musical *Rent*. Have you seen it?Has this situation been the only thing that has caused your friend to feel this way or has he referenced suicide in other situations? If this is the only time he has said anything about suicide, I would recommend you guys constantly talking to him through phone, SMS, Facebook, etc. till the situation gets better.Try to make your friendship as normal as possible despite the financial hardship. Hopefully this will remind your friend of what life was like before everyones financial struggles.', 'Glad I could help! Its good to know you got something out of it :)Good luck with everything, and let me know if theres anything else I could do!', 'Im just trying to show you that there are other ways to be happy. Thats all.Tell me about your mom.', 'Good. How are you going to do that? Do you have weights or a gym membership? Or are you gonna start with cardio?Do you need someone or something to motivate you or do you think getting in shape is something youll be able to commit to?', 'Did you have a bad experience growing up that led you to not trust people?Ive had a couple that makes me uneasy around friends. Its not fun :/', 'What is it about being around other people that bothers you? Lack of trust or shyness maybe?', 'I think Im the same way to a lesser extent.I dont want to impose, but I want to be included. I dont want to seem clingy, but I dont want to seem uninterested. I just want friends who care, and for some reason theyre difficult to find.Just do what makes you happy. If youre truly happy talking all the time, but dont want to because you think it will make others not want to be around you, who cares? Do it anyway. You need to find people who genuinely want to be around you, and those people exist, you just need to go out and find them.', 'Hey man! Hows everything going?', 'Sixteen is the age you start to figure out who you are. Your friends are going through the same thing, and you might end up going your separate ways.When I figured that out, I was going into my junior year of high school. It wasnt us going our separate ways as much as it was them not wanting to be around me.Regardless, I had to open up. Without any friends, I had to be myself and find people who like me for who I am. Whats the worst that can happen in this situation? Youre not going to lose any friends if they are distancing themselves from you already.', 'Ive felt the same way more than once. My birthdays this month. Three years ago around this time, I was your age, and in my last semester of high school. It was Friday, February 12 - the night of the Opening Ceremony for the Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver. My parents went out with some friends and I was home by myself. All of my friends had graduated a year ahead of me. I called a couple of them, but it was 8:00 on a Friday night and they were busy with their college lives. Less than a Asthenia till my 18th birthday. I felt like shit.I had nothing to do. No one to hang out with. No one to talk to. I cried a lot that night. A year earlier, I figured out that the friends I had grown up with wanted nothing to do with me. They were nice enough in person, but they didnt invite me anywhere, they didnt initiate conversations, they didnt care. After Crying for an hour, I got on my computer and went to the one place where I had hundreds of friends, all in one place - Facebook.I dont know why I got on Facebook. To pretend I had friends, I guess. After a few minutes, a buddy in my Spanish class from the previous semester messaged me. It didnt matter that all he said was ""hey."" What mattered is that he said something, anything. He invited me over his place to watch the Opening Ceremony. I was elated. I went from as low as Ive ever felt to being as excited as a little kid on Christmas.So far, that wall of text means nothing to you. But as someone whos been where youve been and is going through something similar now, let me tell you what I wish I wouldve done sooner, eventually ended up doing, and currently wish I could do again...I would live for myself. I know when I was in junior high and high school, all I wanted to do was be *around* my friends. It didnt matter if we were just hanging out and watching TV or if we were going to an amusement park - I just wanted to be with them. One of the things my dad tried to tell me is that people dont just want to be around you because youre you. They want to be around someone who doesnt need to be around them. My junior year, after I figured out no one liked me, I opened up; not in a deep, personal sense, but in the sense of being social. I joined the rugby team, a volunteer club, and a political club. My junior year was the most fun of my life. But once that ended, all my friends graduated. And I was back to square one senior year. I made some friends and ended up having a great time. Then I went to college, and there were so many people to meet and new friends to make. It was wonderful.Ive driven friends off more than once because Ive been clingy - in junior high / high school and now again in college. So once again I try to be quiet and keep to myself. If someone wants to talk to me, they can. But I dont go out of my way because I feel like Im intruding. I wish I could go back to the way I was for that one short year, but I cant. I dont want to start over again. I did it once in high school, I did it again when I came to college - I dont want to do it a third time now that Im almost done with school.So to you, my friend... dont look at this like you have no friends. Look at it like you have every opportunity to go make more. Go do things on your own. Go to the gym, take a piano lesson (chicks in college love piano, by the way), learn programming, join a new club, hang out in your teachers office after school to talk about an assignment or lesson and shoot the shit. Open yourself up to everything. Stop fucking caring about talking to your friends. And when you do, dont read into what they say.By going out and inventing yourself, youre creating an opportunity to meet new people and youre giving your friends an opportunity to come to you asking questions about whats going on in your life. The happiest I am is when people genuinely want to be with me because I make them happy. And I (used to) do that by being someone whos interested in everything and willing to try new thingsI wrote this as much for me as I did for you. I hope it helps.', 'What types of things make you feel better? Even if it doesnt put you in the greatest mood, what lightens your day?Sometimes we have to take a step back from the big picture and appreciate the small things in life.', 'I have a better life than most, but I still have these thoughts. Its not unnatural or uncommon.Youre only 16, your interests are changing, your friends interest are changing, and youre starting to become more independent. Dont focus on the things that are bringing you down, focus on yourself for a bit. Practice a bit more on your own time to prepare yourself for whatever sport you play. If youre bored and have nothing to do,  consider getting a job. I was always more productive when I had multiple things going on - school, work, and sports. My days are so crammed that I have to get my homework done at a certain time. There was no procrastinating or any other time to do it.', 'You have a lot of things going on in your life and youre focusing on all of them at once. You need to take small steps and tackle things one at a time. Whats most important to you when it comes to getting your life back on track?', 'Really? Whatd you learn? Id like to disagree, but I dont have much knowledge on the subject.', 'Why does he hate you?', 'Okay. Let me back up a bit then.Do you want to be happy? If it required zero effort and you could simply hit a button to not be depressed, would you do it?It sounds like you would. I mean... youre here, youve talked to friends about being depressed, and Im sure youve tried some other things too.When was the last time you left your house? You said you havent been out of your room much. Leave. Being in that physical setting isnt helping you get out of your negative mentality. Some people go to their rooms to be alone or to think, it sounds like when you go to your room, youre depressed. Get out for a few hours. Make that a goal. Even if you just go walk around town by yourself.Little steps.', 'GPA is the first thing they look at before the proceed with an informal conversation. If they dont like your GPA (or resume) theyll say something along the lines of, ""Well Ill take your resume and HR will email you soon."" If they like your GPA and resume, theyll carry on a conversation to see if they like you. Youll get asked for a formal interview if they do.It can be a little intimidating depending on what companies youre talking to.', 'I was in a bad mood today and just saw your comment. Made my day! :)Feel free to reach out to me if you need someone to talk to!', 'Of course! Glad to help :)I think if youre still feeling this way, you still havent been able to cope with the abuse you went through. How long ago did that happen? Was it physical or Emotional upset?', 'The choices we make define who we are and make us unique. The goals and aspirations we have make us individuals.Its tough to fail, especially when youre not meeting your own expectations. I know this is going to sound like a joke, but taking those failures in stride and improving from them separates the leaders from the rest of the pack. Depression makes that nearly impossible because you cant see past each disappointment, each failure. Changing that mindset is a difficult thing to do, but it can be done.What are your hobbies? What makes you happy? Try practicing and improving those skills. If you want to do something new, try exercising. One of the best things I did this summer was work out. At 6:00 am every morning, I was on the floor doing abs. By 6:30, I was at the gym working. Id go for 45 minutes to an hour.I did it for three reasons: It got me out of bed every morning, it increases the amount of energy you have throughout the day, and I could see physical improvements over time. The last one is huge. Seeing results, actually being able to look at your improvements, is huge. Id love to go on about the benefits if youre interested. But theres more to talk about.Even if your next goal is not judging yourself too harshly, its a step in the right direction. Buy motivational posters, write inspirational quotes on sticky notes, do what you need to do to surround yourself with what you need to put you in a positive mood.', 'How old is your older brother? Do the two of you get along? What does he think of your mom?', 'Maybe, with time, you could try to let your boyfriend touch you in the areas you dont enjoy being touched. It doesnt have to be planned, perhaps youll be comfortable enough being around him that it will happen organically and you wont even realize it till after it happened.Its normal to not trust everyone, but not every interaction you have has to be deep or intimate. When youre walking to class, smile. As weird as that sounds, just throw a smile on your face as you go around campus and see how people act. You dont have to talk to them, but if you feel comfortable, just say hi. Nothing too meaningful, but its a step in the right direction with being comfortable around strangers.', 'Thanks! I appreciate hearing that and knowing that Im helping you out :)To be honest, I think I do a good job guiding others, but Im not the greatest with my own problems.Im a business student studying operations & supply-chain management. Basically, I want to work in the transportation, logistics, or warehousing fields. My grades are nowhere near where they need to be. I actually just got an email yesterday from Target saying that I didnt get the internship I interviewed for to manage one of their distribution centers.', 'Awesome!There are a lot of great resources, both on Reddit and elsewhere.Check out /r/GetMotivated, /r/GetFit, or /r/GetDisciplined.Feel free to message me if you need any support!Do you wanna keep chatting about the other stuff youve got going on? Id be more than happy to talk everything out!~~EDIT: How do I link to subreddits? Why is it not the same as linking to other sites?~~', 'Tell me about yourself. Whats your name? Whats going on in your life?', 'If you think the diet will be a problem, then try cutting out one junk food every day this Asthenia. You might have to lift a little more to see results, but it will be worth it by day seven.Are you considering weight lifting and walking/running or just one of the two?', 'I just want to reiterate the importance of demonstrating how much you care. Going out of your way to help. Telling them that you wont give up on them and that you dont know what youd do if they went through with suicide.Regardless of whether or not theyre just looking for attention, you have to make sure they know how it would affect your life if they were gone.', 'Im a little different. I want people to feel comfortable talking to me about the stuff going on in their lives. I want to be able to relate to them through the difficulties theyre facing.On the other hand, when I am feeling depressed, I want people to talk to me and ask how I am, but I usually am short with them or dont want to go into details about what",Supportive
user-151,"['That is a Tired interesting analysis that can be confirmed in many situations.I often think of what happens to persons whom I have, say, played music with. I wonder where they are and what they are doing. Maybe one of these persons is you, but this well never know. I like to think that it adds a touch of awesomeness to the universe.', 'Scholar, eloquent, accurate, enlightening, the kind of posts I could read all day ', 'No problemo.About your mother freaking out, well... thats what mothers do, really.You sound concerned about her feelings. So, its easy to say and probably hard to hear but: better let her freak out now, than leave her helpless and devastated after finding you dead. yeah... I wish I had something more positive to say after that.keep on keeping up. And good luck on your exams', 'It is a fact that we are all going to die someday. But then, lets see it that way: you are going to die someday, so it doesnt matter if we fail at doing stuff. We are just particles among an infinite universe, so lets just try things. Maybe you will.It took me basically every year of school, and 4 years of engineering class (all of which I went through with less than average results), before I actually started doing something I like. you could pretty much be the same kind of guy.tl;dr: we are dust in the universe, it also means we can do stuff without boundaries.', 'There is a chance you are misinterpreting what the others say about your grades. And you might also be misinterpreting the impact of the efforts you are putting into your recovery.>life isnt a competition>re-read this in a couple days>I can tryThese are not words of someone who has lost hope. You obviously know that you are still young, and that  no one has it all figured out so early. You can also view your parents attention as an advantage. Its less hurtful than not having attention at all.', 'I like this quote, someone wrote it in a ragecomic but it may come from somewhere else:""Be strong, not for yourself but for those who cant"".', 'bipolar disorders are quite common. "" 40 % of Depression persons actually suffer from a bipolar disorder which they are not aware of"" (translated from here in french  http://www.troubles-bipolaires.com/maladie-bipolaire/nature-troubles-bipolaires/definition-maladie-bipolaire.htm)For the suicide part, well... its [/r/suicidewatch](/r/suicidewatch)', 'Ive read somewhere that some ways to commit suicide suggest that you want violence against the ones who are close to you. The methods you describe dont fit in that. They suggest that you want to be alone. Well I think bleepitybleeps advice is good. Youre probably beyond the point where you can heal alone.What happened at the time of your two failed attempts ? ', 'think of it that way: people who think the world would be a better place without them, are the ones that count. btw, I actually landed here because of a silly need to post one of those funny comments like ""I can give you eleven good reasons"". Then I landed here, I feel bad about it so: no ""eleven good reasons"" joke. ', 'You are absolutely not a drama queen. No one should ever blame you for needing attention about your Suicidal condition. About that ""not urgent"" statement, keep in mind that this may mean there are other kids there that are deeper into this, and they require even more urgent care. Which doesnt mean you dont require healthcare yourselfWe can talk, about anything.Are you studying, or in high school maybe ?', 'I can understand that you are uncomfortable with your phobias, there are mechanisms in your brain that, at the same time make your body think they are normal, but can not be discussed with others. So I read that you suffer from Mysophobia. Did you receive any feedback when you created a subreddit?Appart from trying medication, did you attend any seminar or (idk what the proper word is) retreat? That particular phobia is hard to let go all by yourself, washing your Weakness of hand is something everyone actually needs to do...', 'Youd be surprised to see how many people come to think the same way as you do, at some point in their lives.Im guessing youre probably young? Its only my point of view, but you may want to put some perspective: nowadays with technology and social networks, less and less people understand the true value of friendship. Maybe you need to open to new experiences that allow you to meet new people.Another perspective: some of my best friends are people I only talk to once a month or so. But the value is much higher to the ones I see everyday. Doesnt it feel like that for you? ', 'Im trying to think of the best way for you to temporarily find enough courage to get outside your house, but I guess thats an issue you can deal with a bit later. Maybe the best thing is to try to relax, by doing simple things and trying to find the joy in it. Laying back, listening to music, drink some juice, anything really.', 'I imagine it is something hard for you to share it because of the shame you feel. Thats a Tired positive message for the ones who are desperate and I hope many will read your story.>The Depression is Player Two, and as long as I dont give him the controller we are all fineThat made me smile... sort of.', 'wow. vraiment, wow...I just got back from a benevolent project far away, where we celebrated our last day together with the other benevolents, some of us composed ""goodbye"" songs for each other. So from an Emotional upset point of view, my heart is still widely defenseless, it feels like your music is hitting it like an arrow of love. For that, Merci du fond du coeur.', 'Ok, I see you have already asked for help, and you are aware of the situation and of what is within the range of what you can do. You told us a lot of things about your parents, but few about your friends (or Im sorry maybe I skipped it). Are all your friends involved in psychological/Depression problems, and drugs ?', 'Thank you for sharing this. It is indeed a matter that can affect your self-confidence, and I understand now that it was hard to hear it brought back by that person.I imagine you didnt hit that guy, or reacted violently? Otherwise you would probably have stated that by now. If so, dont you think most people would have done so? At least you were not that guy and thats one more good point.', 'Ill go with the same advice as in the other posts: try to submit your case to bipolarreddit. Ok I understand that you need to keep stuff to yourself. You sound like you are having way too much weight on your shoulders and I think its actually the case. So, about the fact that theres no one around, do you have any family related  to your husband (although I understand he may not be the one to help you from your point of view).At that moment, it is too easy to advise to ""try to focus on yourself"" because you have to take care of your kid. I hope someone comes your way to help you. Maybe, give another shot to groups of other moms ?', 'Ok buddy, Im not that good at English and your message is surprisingly creative and well written. So I think Ill just give it another shot but, got some work to do, but Ill come back', 'Happy birthday!What makes you feel like that ? Were they not with you when you started drinking ?', 'This moves as I am reading it again and again. I hate to say it but if I were in your place, my kid would probably be taken care of by my family, and I would end up lost somewhere miserably.You are strong. You are strong for those who can not be.', 'I believe you are beyond the point of healing yourself all alone. I wish there was something I could do... the more I spend time on this subreddit the less I know what to say.So I guess, really you should be the one talking. Whats your kids name? Is your husband around to help you?Dont worry too much about not having friends, chances are there are some people around you that could qualify as your friends but youve been trying to heal yourself for too long, you probably cant figure that out.', 'I check socrates17s posting activity, hoping to see something. Nothing...I dont think I can read this subreddit anymore. THis is too much to handle and I think some of the regular users have really inspiring discussions. Congratulations to you all for the award the subreddit received this year (which is, I believe, the reason some of us took interest in clicking on it)', 'I just remembered where Ive heard of that at first.  The head of Networks teaching area (geez, im too Tired to look for proper terms in Google, im french hehe) in my university used to suffer a somehow-minor case of that same phobia. It was obviously making him extremely nervous, and despite he was not much older than us, it prevented him from socializing. A long time after that, he left the university, joined the family business (energy-efficient house constructing). We kept contact through LinkedIn and he explained me all that stuff. Which he was almost 100% free from.It took him years, and it went better. Now Im not saying it will happen like that. It might be harder in your case. It depends on your entourage, if people are helping you, and if you have to interact with others. But there is a chance you wont keep that forever.', 'Ill try to check your post history. Even if I guess you already tried it, take a breath, have a virtual hug. Its going to be okay.', 'No problemo! That is good news.  Based on what others report here when they find help from health facilities, it might be the first in a series of appointments. Dont worry though, and try not to put too much expectations in the process, it just takes time to identify the best way to deal with your troubles.  I wish you the best for tomorrow !', 'Cool reference. Wasnt sure so I googled it, but the song came instantly in my mind.', 'Hi, same opinion here.The last advice of Frenchlitgeek is interesting. Try something new, take care of yourself without thinking of the impact on the others, you need to do something for the joy of it. The little things. Put a nice ringtone on your phone, go to the arcade and put some coins into a Metal Slug cabinet, wear a hat, chase a cat in the street etc...', 'I get it, GCSE is the equivalent of what we call the ""brevet"" in France.I feel truly sad that you are experiencing Depression at such a young age. Id like to tell you that a lot of good things await you in life, but that would be too general and youre probably not in the good set of mind to comprehend that.Is there no other medical facility that you can reach for help in your area? Or maybe non-medical places?Anyway, since you have already made attempts, I think we can both agree that your case is quite serious. But I dont mean desperate, not at all.How are you keeping up at school ?', 'Hi, I sent you a PM but maybe we can talk here if you want to share stuff with others. How old are you ? the ones around you: family, friends, etc ?edit: if its too personal, dont mind those questions. Then maybe, tell us how you coped the previous time, (if I got that right)', 'I didnt know that song. Wow. Ill totally add it to my playbook, sounds easy to play on the guitar.Thank you for that.', 'No problemoTry to slow down on the internetz stuff, even too much reddit can be discouraging. Have you ever thought about trying to write stuff, or to play music? I mean on any other media that a PC, its important to find ways to keep away from it. I dont mean its a bad thing (you couldnt have posted here if it wasnt for the web).Ill be gone, I hope to read from you around some other time !', 'Ow, thats not really what I meant. Its just that you should find specific advice about dealing with the bipolar condition. For every other reason, this was the right place to call for help.', 'Hi. I havent been on this subreddit for a while, so sorry if Im clumsy with my words.Thats a hard part. It might take time for your friend to realize your intentions. Try to think that it doesnt matter (for now, at least) that it puts a barrier between you two. The important thing is the outcome: your friend lives to see another day. 20 is so young.Tell us more about you 2s backstory ? How did the first time around psych ward end?', 'During the therapy, when it did not work, was there actually someone who told you ""Im sorry, you probably need something else"" or did you end up discouraged and quit ?Lets talk about something else for a while. Anything but Mass Effect 3 (yeah I read some of your posts:) ) for Crying out loud I dont want to know the ending! I havent got the game... yet !Do you play video games, alone or with people ?', 'Lets talk for a while if you want, fellow redditor.As far as I dont know your whole backstory (which I would be glad to hear), your situation seems not desperate. I understand that your brother and mother are here to support you? Im going to throw random questions based on what you said, but if its too personal, dont bother.Does anyone else know of your duality (popular/sort of Depression) ?Are you still in highschool ? (asking because of the ""popular"" thing... yeah I know, all the knowledge that foreigners learn from tv shows...)For how long have you been drinking ?when did you first started scarring yourself ?I sincerely hope youre going to be okay', 'Having identified that what is keeping you alive, the love of the others. That is a strength, and maybe seeing it that way can be the beginning of something else. Imagine you were in the other position: maybe someone around is having the same thought. ""If I kill myself,  thinking24 will be devastated"". What does it inspire you?I wish you the best', 'I aint no expert here, but I see a few things:Drugs change you, so every occasion when you were on drugs and Pain people you love, didnt count I guess. Or at least that didnt mean you were a bad person, but just lost for a while.And also, you believe in forgiveness. You should be able to forgive yourself.Sorry if this sounds cheezy. I am also a catholic, not Tired active, I cannot understand exactly how you fell because youve obviously been through a lot more than I will ever see in my life. But please tell us more. Maybe about how you imagine killing yourself could be considered a favor to the ones you love.', 'Im so glad and relieved to hear from you. I still believe that in your current case, I dont have much experience to bring and to participate ... but holy molly, paperwork and bureaucracy saved someone today.', 'You have already spent time with the gun in your hand thinking of what you could do with it, but did nothing. Id like to think of that as a strength, its like you know where the boundary is.You have a heart, and you sound Tired humble. I cant help but think that you are the kind of guy who is meant to do great things. You are not the only one unsatisfied with the rules of life, sometimes you just cant decide wether you have to wait for a change or ""be"" the change you want, I understand its hard.Thank you for sharing your feelings', 'Im glad you are still with us. >im such a fuck up, i cant even get suicide right.Man. Its a good thing it didnt work, I mean like i_am_not_a_liar is saying, you cheated death, so I guess that counts. Try to focus on that positive way of putting it through.Now, I suggest you tell us what the ""friend"" said to you and give us some context. Because we are perfect strangers and wont judge you, but we will listen, and it will help you vent your state of mind.', 'I had not heard of that Project before, and I think it is a great idea. If I ever find someone with a butterfly tattooed, that will give me something to think about.', '>I am scumRebel scum!Im sorry if that didnt make you smile, I thought it would help if you did.>Im an idiotNo youre not. Look, you nearly havent made a single writing mistake in your message, you probably cant measure how big an achievement this is nowadays. Cheer up, and tell us more. Like, about the talk therapy. Was it conducted by medical personel, therapist, group  ?', 'Take a deep breath. Failing at school is something we all go through, dont put too much on yourself about that.How are your relations with your parents? Do you think they would understand and would offer help? If so, it is a good thing you contact them. If you think they would react with violence, maybe ask for a mediators help, go to a hospital. thanks for sharing with the rest of the redditors.', 'You sounded a little bit more positive here... I believe its hard for friends to hear sad stories over again when they have their own problems and are already trying to find interest in stuff. Sometimes its important to put distance with people. People who you consider your best friends, are not necessarily the ones you spend the more time with. So dont feel bad about putting distance, not because they caused it, but because you feel the need to do so.Vent on Reddit ! Thats a good idea. There are some subreddits you might find interest into. I havent seen your comment history or anything, but here it is: Reddit isnt just about funny pictures, fun jokes, news... there are a lot of stuff in here... Have you tried to reconnect with the church retreat you went to ? Or should you consider giving it one more try ?', 'Exactly what he said. It always strikes me to think how much inspiration can come from a Depression state. Thats a cruel aspect of life.I sincerely hope OPs final words were not an irrevocable decision.', 'I sort of dropped out of the social context but, in my days, text meant nothing. Nothing is of equal value to words said face to face. Maybe this has changed but I like to think that, even if texting is now an acceptable way of communication, it doesnt convey emotions.Are you sure you could have said whatever you said in that text, face to face? Also, you are actually regretting it, so it adds up.I know I wouldnt take whats in a text for granted.', 'I dont believe your imagination and creativity are gone. Those are abilities that manifest themselves when the environment around you allows it, but you probably noticed it when you felt better. Now I wont give you the usual ""write a song, write something about what you feel"" bshit . Well you know what, maybe I will. Do you think you could write something here that would describe your state of mind ?No pressure, no judgment, just write something.edit: or anything else, a picture, some story etc.', 'The idea that you have been suffering for 15 years is giving me a terrible feeling. I dont have much to say, only that the next time I see a shooting star my wish will be for you to get better.', 'I read the updates of your post. I dont consider you wasted my time. Im sure no one does. But I can understand that you dont want to talk now, there is no rush anyway.', 'Its a good thing you have your mother with you. If you feel bad for making her drop what she was doing, well dont, because thats what most mothers do really...Like experienced redditors point out from time to time regarding happiness, the body is an incredibly complex chemical machine that can influence your feelings. It depends on a lot of parameters, its like a set of dice was  thrown and you didnt get multiple ""six"". Maybe you are a bit more unlucky than the average but you never know when it changes.What was the last experience when you felt happiness ? Can it happen again ? ']",Indicator
user-152,"['My mother committed suicide earlier this year largely due to money problems. As someone who has had to cope with that loss all I can say to you is **DONT DO IT!** People often say that suicide is a ""permanent solution to a temporary problem"", and I feel like in the case of debt and things of that sort this is especially true. Look, dealing with this stuff isnt going to be terribly fun or easy. But Im SURE you can find some way to figure it out, and I bet there are plenty of people who would much rather support you through this stuff than have to deal with you not being around anymore. Just stay positive and put in as much effort as you can and Im sure things will work out!']",Indicator
user-153,"['Ive had thoughts of calling before but could never get myself to do it :/ I get really nervous', 'Please dont take them. Message me if u want to talk to someone', 'Sorry u feel that way. Im a loner too so I know the sucky feeling. Im thinking of seeing a therapist soon but even that gives me Anxiety. I wish I had that person I could go to and feel safe with : (', 'Im gay if thats of any comfort. Lets talk. ', 'Please dont do it. ', 'Hmm idk if u got my last message. Im pretty new at this reddit app. I have a kik messenger app account if u ever feel like chatting . let me know ', 'Eek we are way too similar. Im 27 and gay and every night I hate laying in bed thinking about how lonely I am and how lonely ive been and probably will be. My Anxiety sucks as it makes me hard to socialize. I stay up really late watching tv shows on netflix because Im so alone. It sucks feeling this way and not having a person to really talk to. Its why I came to reedit. Ive had it on my phone but never used it. Searched up Anxiety and kinda happy to see you posted this because makes me feel somewhat relieved someone else knows how I feel at this exact moment. I kinda wish I could go see a therapist again but even the thought of that gives me Anxiety. Ugh', 'Hey man sounds tough but just pull through. Dont buy a gun and dont do anything to end your life. Good things might happen just wait']",Ideation
user-154,"['Its okay, Ill read it c:', 'Good work!!! Six weeks here, so I can relate :) its not easy, but not impossible either. Keep it up and congratulations. You should feel Tired proud of yourself. ', 'It made me smile because your second paragraph is exactly something my mom says. Thank you. Im Tired sorry to hear about your spouse but it seems like you are looking more positively at it which is great. Thank you for the advice and good luck.', 'Thank you for doing these. I think its such a great way to help people here who dont have access to proper care for their wounds.', 'And sadly the purebred ""designer"" dogs are the kinds that puppy mills usually carry. So some places might have them simply because they were rescued from bad living conditions. ', 'This is beautiful. I often think of the happy face I put on for others as a mask, too. Id love for you to share your other poems.', 'I know its not much, but *internet hug.* I want someone to hug, too. Here, youre not alone. Remember that, friend. I understand how youre feeling. Lately I have no energy to hold a conversation let alone focus on school. I barely eat and sleep. Is there anything in particular thats making you feel this way?', 'Jumping spiders, because theyre so cute and fluffy and have an almost puppy dog face. A close second are tarantulas. I have one named Franklin :)', 'Maybe it would help to start first with the symptoms and then move towards the root of the issue? You and your therapist could be thorough that way in getting all the details so that you can be successful in dealing with the real cause. Whatever you decide to do, I hope everything goes well for you. Keep your chin up. ', 'Ayyyy lmao', 'Congratulations on your new friend :) now you can both keep each other company. My dogs are wonderful for that. Ive been having a bad day but they force me to get up and let them out, feed them, and play with them so it helps me feel much less lonely. ', 'Congratulations! :) Its not easy to gain a change of perspective, but working towards it is the first step to bettering yourself. I wish you the best of luck on your date and at school.', 'Sorry, I dont have a kik. Do you want to PM me?', '[This website](http://www.healogics.com/Patients/patients/infection) has some good guidelines towards the bottom about how to prevent infection. Im sure there are endless other websites with helpful information if youre still Worried and want to google them :)', 'Thank you Tired much. I hope four years from now it will be a distant and irrelevant memory. ', 'Hey there. It sounds like youre doing everything right. About the bleeding, thats just something that will happen continuously with larger cuts in the first few days. You hit more capillaries with deeper and longer cuts, so the body has to work harder to prevent bleeding. Keeping it covered and clean is most important.', 'I will probably think back to you and the others replying next time because it makes me teary-eyed that strangers would take time out of their day to want to help. Thank you', 'Things are starting to become manageable again. I actually just got done scheduling a counseling appointment, my first in years. I think it will help me push through all of this. My boyfriend is still angry but we talked a lot and will talk more later, so I think things will be okay. Thank you so much for caring and taking the time to check on me. It means a lot.', 'And thank YOU, kind stranger! <3', 'Thank you, that means so much. I know its been a Tired short time, which is why everything is feeling so overwhelming and hopeless. Sometimes when the Pain gets so bad its hard to talk sense into myself. But Ill work on it.', 'Thank you Tired much. I do need to go easier on myself. Its difficult when my self-esteem has been low as of late.', 'Some days I dont know what I would do if I didnt have this community. Its truly a wonderful, judgement-free place and I love everyone here. Stay strong, friend. Youre never alone. ', 'Congratulations on the weight loss and plan to finish school!', 'They did for me too!']",Indicator
user-155,"['I dont do much currently. I lifeguard for a bit of cash. Im heading to school in September. That is pretty much it. As for whether its something I want to do; I have no idea. Currently I never feel like doing anything.', 'What used to make me happy? Its been years since I was happy for more than a few minutes. I guess I like making things, programming, art, stuff like that. But I havent been able to concentrate much on anything, or I will plan something out, then just lose all drive and dont follow though on building it.', 'Not really, the closest pool is a 15 to 25 minute drive. I guess I could try going there every once in a while.', 'I swam so much, for so long, it didnt have much of an appeal over the last two seasons I competed. In the last few years I estimated that I was swimming somewhere around 3 million yards a year, I dont really feel like going back.', 'We actually have a lab, I like animals, but they dont make me feel any better.I am in better shape than most people. I used to swim 2 to 4 hours a day, five days a week. I dont do that anymore, but Im still physically healthy. I had a blood test, nothing showed up. I also take a multivitamin and eat fairly well.', 'I honestly dont know. I if I had to guess, it would be that something is wrong with how my brain functions.', 'Im not really stressed, I never have bee one to worry about much.Lately Ive just been wishing there was some way out, be it though medication or death or whatever. Medicines have never worked well for me, and all the anti-depressants Ive taken have done fuck all. I guess I would like to be with / have friends, but just finding the will to get up everyday is hard, let alone calling someone.']",Indicator
user-156,"['say something if youre still there. hope i didnt arrive too late.', 'Youre only 14 years old? Incredible because youre writing comes off so intelligent, like an adult.I have some things to say to you regarding one of your statements:""These thoughts are so overwhelming, and Im starting to accept them, and I know that if life takes one more thing from me, Im going to act on them, if I dont just act on it randomly one day.""If you pay attention, you may notice that all of the Suicidal inclinations originate within the mind, namely from the thoughts. Have you ever wondered where these thoughts come from? These thoughts seem foreign dont they? Indeed, they come to us from our spiritual enemies, the demons who hate mankind with perfect malice. The demons are able to transmit thoughts to us, as if shooting arrows or casting poisonous darts. The thoughts are the weapons they use against us. The demons compass about us, swarming upon us, refusing to leave us alone. They obtain power over us because to some degree we share in their darkness.They are spiritual parasites, who steal energy from us, by inciting negative emotions via the transmission of thoughts to the intellect which is a part of the human soul. These thoughts incite hatred, anger, jealousy, lust, greed, all kinds of negativity. Their ultimate goal is to destroy us. When they attack, often like piranhas on a feeding frenzy, the human heart becomes overwhelmed with despair, despondency, fear, anger, resentment, and a distraught psychological state that is difficult to escape from, and recognizable by its effects.When these evil thoughts are accepted, the thought enters into the heart, where it spawns an emotion, that is, a feeling, with which the thought joins, and the combination of the negative thought with a negative feeling, tends to effect one or two things: it will either produce an action, or a desire/inclination to perform that same action.If you have never followed through with the action, then the effect is a desire/inclination to perform the action, and the action itself is easier to resist. However, once you begin accepting the thoughts, which will assault us repeatedly, it becomes increasingly difficult to resist the inclination/desire to perform the resulting action.Its spiritual warfare. We must resist the demons. When we accept their lies, it gives them greater power over us. Day after day they come to us and inject thoughts into the mind, designed to cause despair, self-hatred, hopelessness, etc. Then they will tell you to kill yourself. And they will come and attack you again and again, for days, weeks, months and years. They know it will wear a person down if they are relentless. They may relent temporarily if it helps their cause; if they see us doing things that harm us, like using drugs. But they are simply lying in wait, like wolves. If someone begins to believe the lies the demons tell them in their thoughts, the demons weaken us and they become stronger, feeding off the despair or whatever negative emotions/actions they incite. Demons seek to conquer a person in small steps. If they seek your destruction via suicide, they will start small, making you feel like an economic/academic/social failure, not good enough, ugly, unlikable, etc. Things to make us feel bad about ourselves, unloved, and hopeless. Among these smaller steps, the demons try to get you to start cutting yourself or Burning sensation yourself; banging your head against the wall, punching the wall, breaking things. Once you start hurting yourself, following through on the desire/action that is produced by the acceptance of the thought into the heart, then it becomes harder and harder to resist the actions they seek, and the behavior begins to hard wire itself into the brain, where it becomes a behavioral pattern. For example, if you live in a 2 story house, you can run up and down the stairs Tired fast without thinking about it. Its become a hard wired action. Another example: People who become addicted to smoking, can have a streamlined behavior pattern: a thought to smoke, automatic acceptance of the thought into heart, and desire and action are virtually united into a single step: person reaches for cigarette and lights it. The whole thing becomes a seamless transaction. At this point, a person can virtually lose the freedom of their will in regard to the action. This is also how addictions form within the human person.The problems you are experiencing cannot get better so long as you accept these negative thoughts. It is not easy to overcome these thoughts, since they dont come from within you. Thats why many Suicidal people think that they cant get better. The demons wont leave them alone but instead relentlessly attack the person, until the person loses their mind and gives up the fight, ending their life.There is a whole methodology to heal oneself, to overcome these dark forces.', 'First time signing up at reddit. Felt inclined to reply.Im 35 and was in and out of mental hospitals all throughout high school, up to my early 20s. I sliced my self up pretty bad a few times. Was Suicidal for years, no hope, saw no future.After high school I decided to just use drugs and not worry about life, just be a bum pretty much, and gave up on ever caring about accomplishing anything.I made it through that dark period by giving up caring about anything.My life turned out okay. I mean yeah, Im a failure at economic success and making money but who cares! If all you ever wanted was to be rich, then youve been duped. Money is just a false hope people are brainwashed to chase. Lots if people committing suicide or being totally miserable are rich. Money doesnt make people happy. It may seem to for a little bit, but then look, no one is ever satisified with how much they have. Theyve done surveys, asking people their annual income, and how much annual income is needed to be ""rich""/""successful. Every single income bracket did not consider their own income enough to be rich. All the way from the poorest to the richest. People who make half a million dollars a year think they need to make a million to be rich. Its a joke. And everyone is deceived by this.1. How old are you.Like I said, Im 35 now. And my life is still a life of suffering, but I have a wife and several children now. Im on welfare and a failure in the American workplace. And I could list tons of reasons why my life sucks and why Im a failure as a human. But Im happy I didnt kill myself when I was younger. Having children made my life worth living, even though I suffer so much. These beautiful kids would never have existed if I had committed suicide.Look, understand life is terribly painful, but we cant just assume our Pain will end at death.Looking back, I realize I didnt actually want to die. What I truly wanted was for my suffering to end. And because it was so painful, I hated myself, I just wanted to die. It seemed like the only way I could escape. Friend, there is no escape. You must have a small speck of hope. A mans spirit within him is endued with hope at conception. All people have a glimmer of hope no matter how dark life gets. Thats why we reach out to others when we are at the point of suicide. Its why youre here.Please dont kill yourself.You are valuable. You are important. You matter. People care about you.Remember in High School, probably you knew someone at your school, or knew of them, who committed suicide. And everyone acted sad. Even though no one acted like they cared about the person. And usually many people say, ""I wish there was something I could have done."" Or if I had only known I would have tried to help.So there are people whi help and people who care. If you reach out, maybe even youll need to reach far, people will reach out their hand to pull you up from the grave.Suicide is permanent. Your current problems are probably temporary. The problems I had, the reasons I had for suicide when I was young, for the most part dont affect me anymore. I still have problems, but its not like before. And so I encourage anyone who is Suicidal, or is making a big decision like this to wait.When in doubt go without.Maybe you should wait 1 day for each year of your life that is passed to decide to make the ultimate decision, irrevocable and terrible: destroying oneself.So if youre 18 years old, wait 18 days to decide. Until you can be 100% sure this is what you want to do, for 18 days, you should not act. Dont make a mistake like this unless you are fully and irrevocably committed. Killing yourself is permanent. Theres no changing your mind.I can write more if youre interested in talking. Ive been there myself.If youre just here to say farewell, I would still like to hear more about you and what it is that leads you to such a drastic end. Forgive me for anything wrong I said.']",Behavior
user-157,"['Im glad to have helped and Im even more happy to know that youre still living :). If you ever want to talk, hit me up!', 'Hi! Whats up!?', 'Youre parents are tough. Im sorry, this seems really hard and difficult. Suicide is not the answer though. This is a rough point in your relationship with your parents and I guess a rough time in your life. The fact that your job brings you joy is a really good thing, maybe call your job off a friends phone or a phone at school and explain the situation. Talk to your teachers about your situation and see what you can do about raising your grades. If your parents do kick you out its not the end of the world, its happened to a lot of people for doing much worse things than failing a couple classes and skipping out to see a girl. Hopefully you have friends who you can stay with. I think people will be sympathetic of your situation. I really dont think your parents would rather have you dead because if they truly didnt care about you, they wouldnt care about your grades.    Life is hard and it sucks sometimes but things do get better and its not worth it to end it now because thats such a final decision that you cant take back and there will be things in your life that you will be so happy that you were alive for :). If you want to talk, Id love to!', ':( sounds rough. Im sorry youre feeling this way. What can I do?', 'Talk to your parents, tell them youre serious and theyll help you find help. You are too young to be this sad and to end your life. You life has just started and everyone has rough teenage years. You may not see it now but things do get better, you just have to be there for them. If you want to talk to me, Im here :)', 'Hey, Im a junior in college too and last semester I felt Tired similar to you. Almost everything you said I could relate to. However I just decided to stop caring and live in the moment. Now Im so much happier and doing better in school. It may not be the same for you but I just want you to know that it gets better. Anyways, what can I do for you?', 'Hi! Sounds rough, Im sorry. Loneliness is kind of a black hole. Anyways, Id love to talk and help you in any way I can :)', 'I feel that way sometimes too. You just have to keep going through life being the best you can be and youll find someone. Good love takes time but it is worth it. ', 'I agree. I really think whoever is behind these paragraphs is a cool person, someone the world needs and Im not even kidding one bit. I have a feeling. ', 'I hope you sleep well and you wake up refreshed and feeling good! I am really glad that you are seeking help! Dont worry, things will get better eventually! Just give it some time :)', 'You can take control of your life. You can do the things you want to do. I believe in you, I believe that you can homestead in Idaho or Washington if you really want to! Thats a beautiful goal! Its awesome that youre seeing a therapist, you just got to hold on a little longer, I know you can. You at least need to wait until you see your diagnosis and what they can do for you! PM me if you want to talk! ', 'Well I think youve done all you can and now you just need to take some time for yourself to accept what you did and learn from it. Trust me, youll be okay you just need to be strong and hold on for a while :)', 'The only way that there is nothing in your future is if you decide not to have one. You have to keep your head up even though its hard and look forward and soon enough youll get there and things will be good. ', 'Hi Jared! You know what, you seem like a cool kid. Being a little different can suck sometimes but its a good thing. You should keep doing what makes you happy and follow your interests. There are tons of places where you can find friends who have similar interests as you, like reddit! If you want to talk, Id love to!', 'You made a mistake, and youre regretting what you did. Youll learn to live with it and youll learn from it. It wont happen right away but if you simply apologize youll be taking the first step towards being able to live with your mistakes. ', 'Im really sorry, that sounds frustrating.', 'Youre doing a really good job for yourself! You have to play the cards you are delt and live your life knowing that you are you for a reason. Im here if you want to talk because Id love to talk and let you elaborate on your situation :)', 'Dont worry, youll find another job. You just have to work for it. Youll be okay. Just go to sleep for a while and work on fixing your job situation later :)', 'Hey, youre waiting until Monday to see if anything will be better right? Well, sometimes you just have to wait a little longer. You have to hold on and things will get better. Ill want to talk to you! ', 'Things get better, and then they get worse, and then they get better again. Thats how life is and you have to learn how to ""ride the wave"". I had a tough time last semester and I was so Worried about failing not just in school but as a person. What helped me get through that is just focusing on right now and being the best person I can be right now. Things will work out and your life is not going to be nearly as shitty as you expect, if you want to talk, Id love too!', 'Sometimes, I feel worthless too. I really do, sometimes I feel like I have no talent and it fucking sucks. Whats something you like to do?', 'I agree with /u/Walken_on_sunshine. Things do get better. Ive been in some dark places before but with a little time and a change in perspective Ive gotten out of them and you will too. Id love to talk if you want to! PM me!', 'Its really nice of you to do this, thank you. Tell them that even tough things are hard right now, things really do get better. Tell them youll talk with them over private message if they want to talk about their problems. Once again, the world needs more people like you :)', 'You seem like a really nice person. You say you have lived for 25 years with nothing to show for it? I disagree, you have accomplished a lot graduating college and you are an empathetic person who cares. Ive felt similarly to you--feeling like nothing will get better and whats the point anymore. For me, it just took time and working towards the things I wanted to accomplish regardless of how stupid it seemed--it helped me a lot. ', 'Fuck that person. Dont listen to them. Fuck them. However, they may be  needing help themselves. Anyways, what can I do to help you?', 'You should, Im a 20 year old girl so maybe I can help you out a little :)', 'Youre welcome, I know youll be okay :)', 'This sounds really frustrating and scary. However, you are young and youre still creating yourself. You may have hid behind the smart girl persona in the past but you are so much more than that. Dont let people tell you who you are. Be who you are and do what you love. Fuck what other people think as long as youre truly happy. Just fuck them. PM me if you want to talk!', ':( Im sorry, that sounds really difficult. I dont know where youre from but in the US I know its hard to live on minimum wage especially part-time. If you want to chat Im here. Dont let this get you down. ', 'Wow, Im really sorry. You must feel like an outsider in your own family and Im truly sorry for that. I think you need to tell your family how you feel. Im really sorry dude. PM me if you want to talk :)', 'I can relate, I wasnt doing well in school last semester but I realized what I had to do and worked harder and my grades are okay now. Well youre talking to me now! ', 'Im not sure of the situation. I know that a lot of people who are Depression or bipolar can be Suicidal but they are not institutionalized. I dont know enough about that system. However, I think its worth it to talk to someone again. ', 'Im scared about the future too. However, what keeps me from freaking out is living in the moment. I try to be the best person I can be today and enjoy living as much as possible. This really has helped me. Also, what Ive learned that nothing is as worse as it seems like it will be. So whenever I get scared and Worried about the future I remind myself that and I also remind myself that its *my* life and I am in control and I can live my life the way I want to. I dont have to be like those miserable people, I dont want to be like them. You already have an internship which is a GREAT start to your future! You should be excited about whats to come because youre going to have a good life even if you dont know where it will take you yet. If you want to talk, Id love to!', 'You shouldnt feel guilty. Youre trying your best and you need to keep trying. Youre son needs his mother, leaving him would be the most selfish thing you will *ever* do and it will be the last thing you ever do. You cannot make up for that. You should at least try talking to your husband and maybe see about seeing a therapist. Things will get better and you will be so happy to see your son grown up! ', 'You have a lot to live for, life seems rough right now but the people that you love and who love you need you more than ever. We all have rough patches in our life and we live through them and come out the other end better and stronger. You can get through this. Everything will be alright :). If you want to talk, Im here!', 'You sound like a good mother. Children cant always have a ""fun"" parent, its silly and unhealthy for the child. Im only 20 and moved out of the house but Im so thankful for my mom and dad who made home-cooked meals and checked my homework even though I didnt like it at the time, its helped me in the long run to become a responsible adult. Youre doing the best you can to support your son and yourself. Maybe try looking for a new job while still working--you never know what opportunities are out there if you dont try! Im sorry to hear about your ex-husband, that must be really difficult. I wish you all the best and if youd like to talk, Id love to!PS. I run out of toilet paper all the time too :P', 'Im sorry. Things are really difficult for you right now but things will get better soon. You just have to hold on and stay as positive as possible even though its hard :)', 'Im sorry, things sound rough right now. You seem like a Tired strong person and with that attitude youll go far. Trust me. PM me if you want to talk!', 'I think that you need to seek help. Since you go to a university they most likely have a counseling service that you should go to. I really think that you need to find help and stop self medicating. Its not going to help. Id go to /r/bipolar or /r/BipolarReddit and maybe talk to them, also, /r/Depression might be able to help! College is hard and its a complicated and difficult time. If you want to talk, Im here. ', 'I feel like that too sometimes. What helps me is living in the moment and enjoying life as it is right now. If you want to talk, PM me! :)', 'Robins death is Tired tragic and it obviously hit you hard. You may just be in mourning right now but I am not you so I wouldnt know. If you want to talk about anything, Im here :)', 'Yes, and with a positive attitude like that, you will be golden :)', 'Im sorry to hear about your situation and Im sorry about your mom. Is there a cure for your skin disease?', 'Youre right. We are all going to die. Everyone in the past who has ever lived, has died. However, just because we all die eventually doesnt mean our lives are meaningless. All the people who have died before you have left a world of amazing things. Not all are great, but a lot of those things that people have created have outlived their creator and changed lives. I guess what Im trying to say is yes we will all die and we cant help it but everyone has their time on earth to change things for the better. PM me if you want to talk, Id love to because you sound like you have an interesting perspective :)', 'Sometimes, the world seems really tough and the future is scary. You just need to know that things will get better if you try to make them so and sometimes things just get better over time. The fact that you want to travel and experience the world is a beautiful time. Maybe you should just take off right now and travel and enjoy the world. Youll find something along the way that will bring hope and meaning to your life. I wish you the best and if you ever want to talk, Im here :)', 'I guess hope is kind of ridiculous because its just living for the future and believing that good will come some day. But I think that hope is important and obviously its the last thing to go, but the first thing to come back. If you can just find a glimmer of hope, I know that you can do this. ', 'Youre right, things do get better. Youre young and going through a tough time right now with your self image/worth. Ive been there. It sucks. What has helped me is just to focus on things that make me truly happy. I ate right and went on walks and I felt so much better. If you want to talk, Im here! Youre so young, things will get better :)', 'Dont be sorry :). I just wanted to know if there was anything I could do :) ', 'For me, yes. Those memories that I have of the good times are really the great times. I think about them sometimes and I think, ""I am so glad that  happened and I never thought it would but it did and why cant other great things happen if that happened?"" It also helps to just appreciate the little things :)', 'This seems like a realllly shitty situation now, but trust me, it will be *okay*. Ive known people whove cheated on their husbands, they had a kid, they got a divorce and now shes happy and in a new house with a new guy. Im not trying to say cheating is a good thing, Im just saying on the grand scale of things, its not the worst thing you can do. You have to trust me that it will get better. ', 'You seem like an awesome person, whos just had a rough time. Its not worth it to kill yourself. Sometimes I think life is going to get better and it doesnt, but then when I least expect it, things take a turn for the best and thats just how life is. You have to change the things you can, and accept the things you cant. If you want to talk, Im here :)', 'Hello! Im sorry that youre feeling this way, what can I do to help?', 'Youre life isnt over. You are young, things will turn up. Ill Pm you!', 'I think you can do it, I know its cheesy but this is one of my favorite quotes, ""If it scares you, its probably worth it."" I dont know who said it but its comforting in a way. Im really glad I could help you, and thank you for the kind words :). If you **ever** need to talk, Im here to listen and offer advice if you like! ', 'You say you want a job so I think you should get out there and get some applications and just start from there. Seriously, just go to a store, fill out an application and turn it in. Its the first step and once you get the ball rolling I think it will help to do it again. I really think you just need to take the first step. I know that you may not believe this but youll meet someone else, you will. You will feel love again. When I was 18 (two years ago) I thought I met the love of my life and I could not see myself with anyone else. However, he ended things and I thought I would never love again. I still havent found someone special but thats okay with me because I know its coming. I believe in my future and Ive worked really hard to get to that point. ', 'Im sorry, that sounds fucking stressful and scary. But everything will be alright. Things might get worse before they get better but they will get better. Just hold on, buddy :) If you want to talk, Im here!', 'You are actively trying not to Pain peoples feelings which is more than a lot of people do. You seem like a good person you just need to stop beating yourself up. Its good that you try not to Pain peoples feelings, however youre not responsible for how people understand what you say or do. I think you should seek help because you seem like a really nice guy and you care about other people--we need more people like you! Id love to get to know you more, PM me if you want to talk! ', 'I dont think death is such a bad thing but it limits your life. You wont be anything that you were going to be. I dont know that death is such a bad thing for the person that it happens to, I dont know that for a fact. But do you it for a fact that death is a good thing for a person? Youre right, it is selfish for a person to not want you to die. But its a good thing to know that there are people who dont want you to die and who maybe depend on you and love you more than you think. ', 'Aww, darling, you seem like an amazing person with a bright future. I am 20 and in college (and a female) and sometimes I feel like Ill never be successful too but I look back on my life and think of all the things I didnt think Id be able to do and I realized that I am here and I did them. You should talk to a counselor at your school about your problems and maybe they can help you! Please do so! You honestly have so much to offer and if you can get through this, youll be a stronger young woman who will be able to help people and make a lot of peoples lives better--including yours! I honestly would love to get to know you and talk to you if you want to! You seem like an amazing person! ', 'Youre welcome :)', 'You really should not be thinking this way about yourself. No matter what you look like, I dont care if you are the ugliest mother fucker who has ever graced this planet you are still beautiful if you have a beautiful personality. And I am guaranteed that you are not that ugly. You always are youre own harshest critic. Beauty is only on the outside and it has nothing to do with your inner qualities. No matter how ""ugly"" you look, you will never be ugly enough to be deserving to die, no one is. ', 'You should talk to your therapist about these things. Why do you feel like you cant talk to them? Youre so young and it is really difficult to your life will take you, but if you work towards what you want in the future it will happen :) Id love to talk to you!', 'Im sorry youre feeling this way. Could you elaborate on why you cant live like ""this"". Id really like to help if I can :)', 'I understand, everyone always thinks of me as the ""happy one"" and I feel like I cant talk to anyone because a) I dont think they would take me seriously and b) I dont want to ruin peoples views of me. Sometimes pretending to be happy helps me become actually happy it just sucks that I feel like Id be ruining my image and Im embarrassed/ashamed of the way I feel sometimes. ', 'I think you should take the opportunity to give the presentation to her privately. It might be difficult but it will be better than doing it in front of the class. She woudnt have offered you the option of doing it privately if she didnt want to so I think you should do it! Also, I doubt that other people notice your voice disorder as much as you think :)', 'Man, Im sorry. What youre going through sucks. Im not exactly sure what you need to hear but PM me and we can talk! ', 'Yeah, what you did was a shit thing to do. But youve learned from it. You know it was a shit thing to do and that was a decision that you made when you were younger. Doing shitty things is just as much a decision as doing good things. You can do good things. You will do good things. Everyone has to learn their lessons somehow. Ive done things in the past that I regret but its put me in a place where I can look back and say how dumb I was and how I will never do that again and hopefully educate others to never do the things that I do. All in all, my mistakes have made me a better person and youre mistakes will make you a better person if you let them. Id love to talk to you about anything! Message me! ', 'If you want to talk, Id love too. You seem like an awesome person. ', 'Hello! I dont know if this is going to help but I wanted to say that I just got finished with my finals and I was majorly stressing out. It feels much better on the other side of finals. I dont mean to make your stresses seem small but it feels much better on the other side. You can make it. Do you enjoy being a math major?', 'Sometimes I dont think that being positive is self delusion as well but then I remember that perspective is everything. If something is shitty you can look at it in a different way. For example, you lose your job, you gain new opportunities and you get to expand your life. I really hope youre okay, and please, if you want to talk you can talk to me! ', 'Im really sorry, I dont know what youre feeling but I can understand it. I have a money spending problem and I didnt do well last semester in college either and Im Worried about wasting my parents money and then they wont be able to pay for my sister especially if I have to go to college for a 5th year due to my bad grades. What Im trying to do is just focus on right now and doing a good job now and taking it one step at a time. I think the people over at /r/bipolar or /r/BipolarReddit can really help! I hope things turn up and you are able to work through things :). If you want to talk PM me anytime! ', 'Well good for you though! It takes a lot of courage to approach girls, and even if she didnt like you, you still did it! Youre just that much closer to finding someone youre compatible with. Part of Depression is feeling hopeless, you probably already know that but thats just what your mind is telling you. Real life is not hopeless. ', 'Youre welcome!', 'Sometimes people get unhappy, like severely unhappy. You may be that unhappy now. I understand you have clinical Depression and thats tough. However, you are only 18 and you have so much life and happiness in your future. Shit happens, people break up with you and you just have to push though that Pain and when youre on the other side youll be a stronger more capable person and ready for what will happen next. A quote that I read today was, ""The best way out is always through."" If youd like to talk Id love too! Im not too far from 18 so I might be able to relate :) ', 'Youre welcome. Im really sorry that theres no cure. Not to minimize your situation but I guess there are just things in our life that we cant change and we have to learn to accept it and change ourselves. Once again, Im really sorry and if you ever want to talk, Im here :)', 'Dont do it. Trust me things will get better, they always do but you have to try and I know this sounds generic but its true. If you try to change your life, it will change. You can live. ', 'Im sorry, I dont really understand your question. Can you explain?', 'Im so sorry to hear about your boyfriend. That is tragic. You may suffer from Depression or another mental Illness and I think you need to contact professional. However, Im so glad that youre reaching out now. Please pm me if you want to talk.', 'Hi! Im in college too and its a really hard time because its kind of like youre in ""real-life purgatory"", all you are supposed to do is go to class, maybe have a job on the side, and do well enough on your homework and exams to graduate. College is an odd time and if you want someone to talk to, Im here. However, I really think you should go see a professional, maybe your school has a resource for you. :)', 'I understand how you feel, I feel similar too sometimes. Im really glad youre feeling better today!', 'You have the possibility to change things. If youre willing to take your own life, a big decision and a final one, then why cant you quit your job and move somewhere else? Something not nearly as final, however it is a big decision. Instead of ending your life, why dont you try and change it, even if it something little. Maybe go to a bar tonight and say hi to at least one person. You have the opportunity to change your life and live. PM me if you want to talk!   ', 'Hi! You seem to have a way with words, Im jealous. Anyways, I just would like to know why youre posting here. I feel like if you really wanted to kill yourself you wouldnt post here. ', 'The nights are hard for me too, thats why I go on reddit, tumblr, watch a movie, read a book, maybe some TV. You just have to keep yourself busy until youre so Tired and then fall asleep. ', 'Youre welcome, Im happy to help and if you want to talk Im always here :)', 'This is the attitude I have everyday and it takes work but youll be much happier. Im here if you ever need support!', 'You are 85 fucking days clean of heroin, that is fucking fantastic man. Good for you! I think that this is a great sign that things will turn in the right direction soon. Sometimes, life seems really hopeless but then just around the corner things change, you change, and things get better. PM me if you want to talk! ', 'Well if you ever want to chat about anything, Ill be here :)', 'Youre welcome! I think you should talk to your teacher and explain how you feel about the oral presentation and what happened last time. Also, why are you afraid of the oral presentation? ', 'The most important thing is that youre trying. Thats fucking awesome and good for you! A couple months ago, I felt really down about school and I was missing classes too. The way school is set up is really fucking stupid but I realized its something that will make my life better in the long run (hopefully, but thats just me). How I got back into the swing of things was to just focus on living life now, because thats all we have. We have to enjoy our life as it is now and not worry about the future because thats not guaranteed. Ive been so much happier after I started focusing on the moment. Youre right, people are ignorant, but not everyone. And I think that even if someone else cant see what is beautiful, it doesnt matter. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and youre lucking enough to be the beholder of beauty. If you want to talk, Id love to, you seem like an interesting and insightful person.', 'Things would not be easier for your parents if you were gone. It wouldnt. Im *really* sorry that youre feeling this way. I think the fact that youre searching for something to live for means that you have hope, hope is what you live for. You need to talk to a psychiatrist to get on some medication that will help with your schizophrenia. It will be much better than dying. If you want to talk, Id love to chat :)', 'You wouldnt have posted here if there wasnt some hope in you. ', 'Hello! I think that it may be worth it to consider taking antidepressants. I dont know enough about them to recommend them, and its obviously your choice whether you take them or not but if you dont think you can make it 6 months it might be a good idea. You cant leave your family behind and I know youd regret it if you did.', 'I feel similar to that too sometimes. Sometimes I think Ill never have a good job and Ill never make money because I feel like I have no skills. However, every job that Ive been at I was so afraid to start because I felt as though I knew nothing and I was incapable but I *learned* how to do the job and I gained new skills through the job. I lack motivation too a lot of the time and sometimes Im lucky enough that the motivation just comes to me. However, the motivation doesnt always just come to me. What I do to spark motivation is surround myself with potential motivators like knowing I want to go out on the weekend so I do my homework during the Asthenia because Im motivated not to do it on the weekend when I want to spend time with friends. You have to make up your own motivation. For example, I woke up today and my house was really messy and I want it clean, but I realllly dont want to clean it but I know a clean house will be worth all the effort I put into it in the end. You just have to give it a little time, dont doubt yourself because youre much stronger than you think and surround yourself with things that motivate you. ', 'Hey, things will turn up. You have to work at your life to make it better. Sometimes, good things happen but even better things happen when you go out and do something about it. You need to talk to someone at your school and explain your situation to see if someone can help you with your classes and possibly even with other things :). If you want to talk, Im here :)', 'Hi! If you want to talk about stuff, Im here to listen!', 'Why are you calling yourselves those words? ', 'Hey, you are young, things will change and opportunities will come. If you want your life to change, you have to do something about it and youre speculating about your future which hasnt even come yet and it can be sooooo much better than you think it will. Ive felt like killing myself at times and then something happens and I think, ""Thank goodness I got to live this."" ', 'Im sorry youre feeling that way and I understand why. I think I might feel similar to you sometimes too. But what I do is just accept the things that I cant change--I cant change other people I just have to let them live. However, you can be the change you want to see. Live your life with love and hope and youll be happier. Not everything is terrible and Im starting to realize that, its all about state of mind. ', '/u/Psyducktail is right. You seem to have had an interesting life and its not over. You can pull yourself out of what youre in now. Id love to be your friend! ', 'Hey, please be careful. Things will get better you just have to make it though this dark time and youll be okay, I promise. Please message me if you want to talk! Be strong and never lose hope.', 'Dont do it, its really not worth it as you can seriously Pain yourself and Flatulence/wind up having things worse than before. If youd like to talk, I am here and Id love to :)', 'Thank you so much for posting. Im so thankful that you are here to show others that things to get better if you work for it! I obviously dont know you but I am truly proud that you made your life better and are still trying! Id give you a hug if I could!', 'Damn, college can be rough as fuck. I was at risk for failing out last semester and it was mainly because I was in the wrong major for me. I was doing what other people told me to do and I switched majors and Im doing really well now and Im so much happier. Switching majors to something you enjoy might help you tons! And you do have a future ahead of you. Life is hard and sometimes things are so shitty that you dont see a good future. But trust me, things will get better and youll have an awesome life if you work for it. I was in a similar situation to you last semester and it sucks but you find a way to work though it.If I were you, Id go see your schools therapist again because not being able to concentrate is not good, especially in college. They may be able to prescribe you with something that can help with your attention span. Anyways, I hope things get better for you and if you want to talk Im here :)', 'Im glad to hear that :). Things will get better, it will take a little time but eventually they will and if you can hold on youll be stronger and youll be glad youre alive. ', 'If you want to chat Im here. Breakups suck. ']",Supportive
user-158,"['I HAD hobbies until I moved. I also don plan on doing anything with my life because of money', 'I feel the same why I just havent had the balls to pick up the gun or swallow the pills', 'I did tell them and we are moving shortly to a better town but I just hate myself and have no confidence for myself']",Ideation
user-159,"['I saw them last December! Amazing music by amazing performers.What would you say your favourite album is? And, if youve got one, your favourite song?Its awesome that you even were in a band, by the way. Was it a metal band? Ive been playing six years, and Ive never been able to find a band. I think every guitarist is Tired self-critical - thats a great thing to be, although not overly so. To even perform in a band environment, you have to have good precision and rhythm, and flow with other players. With that in mind, Im sure youre a Tired good guitarist. ', 'I can relate to a lot of these feelings, even though our situations differ. The whole Fear of the unknown thing is clich\xc3\xa9 as hell, but trying telling that to the Anxiety that bubbles up when your future is so unclear. Or well, perhaps not unclear, as youve highlighted with the bleak end coming up. Anyway, what I mean is your feelings make a lot of sense and must be Tired painful.You probably already have, but have you talked to any other family members or friends about the upcoming situation, and the chance of staying with them temporarily?Sorry if Ive misinterpreted or misread anything', 'Im not entirely sure what you mean. Background: I have Major Depressive Disorder and have struggled with it increasingly pervading my life for the last five years. ', 'Thanks Tired much for your thoughts. I just want to process others opinions and come to a decision, so your reply really helps', 'There was a somewhat amusing line on TV the other day about how a writer could never commit suicide because theyd keep adding and adding to the note until it became a book, then a book series and so on. Theyd never be satisfied. Someone else then replied that a literature student couldnt either, because theyd be too busy researching and reading everyone elses notes and taking notes on how to write a note. Although it was all joking, and is Tired exaggerated, I understand the lack of satisfaction thing.EDIT: Thank you for replying and sorry for rambling on']",Indicator
user-160,"['I came here for help, not for you to 1-up me on why you have more reason to kill yourself.']",Ideation
user-161,"['See you dont understand, when I said I stopped studying at 12 I mean I never went back into education, AT ALL.', 'Its a she, she doesnt seem to get that Im reaching out for help. She has been through it so by all counts she should understand better than most but.. no.', 'there is no point :) Ive tried, to no avail.', 'I will look into those.I meant physics as in the science, not the game engine component. Although Im a total game engine nerd, and would love to code graphics and am always fascinated by the stuff people keep coming up with. But I dont know if I can delve that much into the math of it. Seems pretty insane.', 'Doesnt seem like that is the case any more, I no longer know how to talk to people.', 'Well if we are talking besides illegal substances, I remember haging out with 3 other people at someones house just playing halo online, sounds simple but.. I was happy.', 'Everyone deserves to be happy. Its hard to see it, but Im sure you are not a bad person, Depression clouds your judgment and your vision. Ive been in a similar situation just recently, you live for that person and then you are called clingy.. because that person is the only thing that makes you happy so you plan your day around them, and that aparently is a bad thing! Trust me if hes playing you around like that hes not worth it.You have to try and find things you enjoy doing, take your mind off of these thoughts, keep yourself occupied!If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me.', 'Ive tried the whole talk to someone youve never met thing, ended up badly most of the time, Id much rather not try after that. I know with that attitude Im only damaging my chances of anything good happening but I just dont have the energy required to try any more.', 'Several things that happened in my childhood that Id rather not discuss and the death of my grandma, she was basically my mum for the first 12 years of my life. I dont see myself getting out of this Depression any time soon, its been the only constant in my life for this long, it is me.', 'Tired of being alone.', 'The Depression that Ive had for 11 years. Its only getting worse.', 'You got it right with the first paragraph! I cant focus on getting better in general if I cant even manage to want to be alive for the whole day.  Ive been doing exactly that, doing too much on the days Im motivated and then not being able to keep up afterwards, leaving me even more Depression and like Ive let myself down.I will attempt to do that.. thank you.I dont have a blog. I will look into this sparkpeople thing.. but the thing with having a blog and putting myself out there is Im Tired emotionally sensitive right now and the lack of responses that I will undoubtedly get will discourage me and make me quite. In fact this is why I dont think I will be posting on here any more. Its hard to find people that truly care, and its even harder to find people that care about complete strangers.', 'I get what you are saying, and I get how it makes sense, but rejection is a pretty recurring theme in my life, Its hard to see it as anything but a big sign saying ""fuck you"" any more.', 'If I was religious I would think this is punishment for something... Every day Im alive feels like torture. I didnt do anything to deserve this :(', 'Must speak to my doctor about this next time then, thank you.', 'Im sorry to hear that.Its really gone beyond BEING with her, its more to the point that I have to put a brave face on and help her while Im falling apart on the inside. Before I just used to blame the Depression for all my problems but now I am Tired much aware that I in fact cause most of them! I can see myself making the bad decisions, feeling sorry for myself, not doing things to improve my situation, but I cant stop myself!Its almost like watching someone else ruin my life, except its me and Ive been doing it for 11 of my 23 years here, I was just completely oblivious before, but now.. Im painfully aware.', 'Ive tried exercise, I was running regularly and It wasnt really helping. Now I just feel like not leaving my room so thats sort of out of the question.', 'Its not about finding the right path, its about finding a path I can actually follow. I know what I have to do (Roughly) but... for lack of a better term, I just dont *want* to do it. Its almost like I want to stay this way.. Its all Ive known for the past 11 years and seeing as I clearly dont have what it takes to end it Im afraid its all I will ever know.', 'I feel exactly the same as you man, feel like I wasted most of my life because of this Asthenia disease. In my case I dont think about the actual death part, just the release, sometimes you just have so much stuff going on and you feel so hopeless it just seems like the only option, when its in fact not.', 'Erm for fun.. I dont know, watch tv shows/movies, listen to music, play games mostly. I listen to a lot of stuff, metal, progressive, indie, dubstep, glitch hop.Treat others as youd like to be treated, doesnt really work as a philosophy in this society apparently.I have considered it, dont know if I can just talk to a stranger about my problems face to face to be honest.', 'What I find works for me when it comes to mood crippling come downs (Based on coke and mdma only) Is eat comfort food, pizza, stuff like that, go to your local health supplements store and get 5-HTP, a natural serotonin supplement, if the come down is your only problem about 150mg will give you a helping hand. And sleep!', 'Andre, nice to meet you. And yours?', 'Nope, obviously just blind. See Id love to just go out there and meet people, but shyness and social awkwardness/Anxiety are a bitch. Not as easy for me as other people. Very hard in fact. Thats my main problem in fact.', 'I have not had the option to see one so far. I would much rather not go back to my doctor, and I believe Id need a referral from him to be able to see a therapist so Im not sure that is going to happen.', 'Parents live in another country. I guess Ill just have to go back to my GP and ask him..', 'Happy birthday! May you keep the wildlings away for many more years to come (wallofice reminded me of game of thrones)', 'I think motivation is going to be (already is) my main problem.Man.. reading that just.. made so much sense. That is exactly what happens, I havent been labelled as weird (that I know of) but I am definitely overlooked, socially invisible. I think the fact thats happened so many times is what caused this social Anxiety that I struggle with, which in turn makes me even worse in social situations.I really appreciate what you are saying, and its all SPOT ON, however the old ""Its not you its them"" doesnt help me :( I am still stuck with a total of 2 friends that dont really speak to me Tired often and that is IT, thats my social circle. To move forward I really think I need more than that and I have absolutely no idea what to do.. no clue where to just ""meet people"". Work is a dead end, none of the people left want to be friends with me outside of work, so I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.I live in the UK by the way if that makes any difference.', 'Well its always easier said than done.I will attemp this, thank you for the article and the new perspective, I just hope I have the motivation needed.Im not really sure how to respond to that! Doesnt happen often. Erm.. thank you.', 'I know right? and apparently Im selfish for being Depression after I made sure she was ok, I was trying to make it about me.. Brilliant.', 'I know you dont know me and I dont know you but Id be upset if you were no longer alive.', 'I understand what you are saying but I lack the motivation to even leave my room sometimes, Id love to not have a social fear, almost, but I do. I cant just approach someone I dont know, out of the blue, much less talk to them.. Believe me Id love nothing more than to be able to do that but, alas, my brain doesnt allow it.I just dont know what to do. I walk to work every day so I do get out of the house most days and the fresh air hasnt helped.. Im desperate to not feel like this but it doesnt seem like a choice I can make.I really want to move somewhere else and actually study (Because of the Depression I didnt even finish school back home (I moved from Portugal to England on my own when I was 17, 6 years ago).. So I do not have any qualifications) but I just dont have the help of mental stability I need.. I dont want to have a dead end job for the rest of my life. I want to study physics or programming.. But I dont think I ever will :(', 'Please dont.', 'Just seems unrealistic to think of that right now, if most social interactions feel like uphill battles, even if its a conversation with a coworker. I dont even want to think about putting myself out there in that way, Ive had alot of rejection over the years and I dont deal well with it...', 'Appreciate the advice, I already have a job but Ive made all the friends I could there.Yeah I suppose new skills are a good idea, been improving my singing lately and looking to take up some sort of martial art, should keep me busy. Not quite ready to jump straight into talking to random people yet but I hope I get there at some point soon!', 'If I had the courage necessary maybe I wouldnt have to live through it.', 'That was a really interesting read. It really is counter-intuitive to remain in a state where the outcome might be (and in some cases is) death. The brain really is fascinating.That actually made me feel a bit better. There *is* something wrong with me but its not the Depression, the Depression is the vessel I should use to find the solution! Makes sense in a way.Unfortunately Im not Tired good at expressing myself through writing. I also dont want an audience of 12 thousand to know my most personal and intimate problems.Im sure neither me nor my problems are as interesting or worth listening to as you believe them to be.', 'This one Falls under the dickheads category. I work in Pc World (Equivalent of best buy if you live in the states) so a whole lot of sales, and sales attracts crappy people. I feel Tired much alone in that job, as I do in general in life, so no possibility of making new friends through there.', 'Im in the same boat man, if you still feel like talking PM me.', 'One of them isnt really that type of friend, hes more of a lets do things together friend. The other one every time I mention it and talk about it for more than 10 minutes Im told to stop ""whining"".', 'I have not no, I was referred for therapy a few months ago but at the time I couldnt even leave the house so I was not able to go. Might try it if its that helpful!', 'I dont know.. Ideally Id love to get into programming, and the gaming industry. But I also have a Burning sensation desire to understand and explore physics, that would be much harder to do. But since I stopped studying at 12 because of circumstances completely outsides my control and Im now 23 I dont think any of that is going to happen.', 'Thank you for the thoughtful reply. I am currently on Efexor-XR xr, 225mg, been on them for a month and a bit, havent really done a whole lot besides giving me terrible headaches. Ive suffered from Depression for 11 years so I just think.. I gave it a good go and things are still pretty terrible. Its just been way too long.']",Ideation
user-162,"['Sounds like your other half really wants to be part of your life, no one is beyond saving but you have to help yourself, which means you need to talk to a medical professional. Just cause you push people away doesnt mean they wont come back. But by the sounds of it the first step is addressing what is going on with you. ', 'I am not saying that it wasnt the case. I was just tossing the possibility out there. If it is the case, I am surprised your doctors havent looked into different studies because that is you know a pretty rare thing to become immune that fast. ', 'If you fail, the honest truth, you will end up in a hospital on lockdown, and things with basically not longer be your decision. So the easiest solution to that is get help, and talk to people while the ball is in your court. As the poster below states exactly your gonna end up with a damaged body, and on lockdown, and shit will be a hell of a lot worse then the reason you decided suicide was worth in the first place. ', 'Have you consulted other medical professionals, is there nothing no one can do, medical science is pretty amazing. You have ever right to be angry, however by the sounds of it is not that doctors fault, you simply suffered likely one of the known complications and side effects, even if its rare. You cant blame another human being and effect their job and life, because you got fucked over by statistics combined with your genes. That being said, start talking to other docs, gather information, plenty of people become impotent at young ages for all kinds of reasons. Might help to find and talk to people in the same boat as you. ', 'Resources arent family, they are things like groups for victims of sexual assault, who are capable of hooking you up with a network of people to talk to, therapy, mental health, pretty much a host of things under the sun. Family and friends are support systems but they arent in a position to truly help you. Other groups are, unfortunately your story is not unique and plenty of people have unfortunately gone through what you have.  ', 'Nothing like that is treatable, treatment by all means does not make things disappear. And therapy and support groups might be one of those things you always have to go do. Mental health treatment isnt magic you have to help yourself as well. ', 'It only wins if you let it, sometimes Depression is like ivy, its hard to kill but its manageable if you keeping cutting it back. Meds might not of helped you cause they werent the right meds. Talking to someone, combines with meds, other resources, and learning new coping skills might make a world of difference. And for the record fuck the people you go to school with, chances are you will never interact with those people again. No such thing as normal, everyone has flaws, demons, etc. ', 'Talk to your friends, let them know that you support them in whats going on with your life etc, and they dont have to hide it from you that you are willing to listen etc. ', 'Lockdown in the hospital its meds in a controlled environment etc, therapy all that good stuff. You have misread the law in AUS, I just googled it and said that if you make a suicide pact with someone and you fail and the other person dies then you can be charged with manslaughter, or manslaughter in regards to assisted suicide not in regards to just failing offing yourself. ', 'I will talk. Im up. Im fine with whatever you want to use. ', 'First never apologize for venting, we all need to vent. Look at this way, suicide and thoughts as such are not an easy thing to deal with, and no matter what life brings you in the future good or bad, remember that you are stronger than you think. Tonight you faced a true monster head on and won. Sometimes it really just all is relative so to speak. And if you ever want to talk, or anything I can help with inbox is open. No judgement. ', '-First of all Gay, totally not a Sin, that is shit invented by others to control and make them feel bad about themselves. - Figure out you, and what makes you happy. Fuck what others tell you sex is or what it should be about. -You do have emotions, they are likely repressed cause you are, deal with the above and I think it will open up all kinds of doors. -Weight is fixable, you want to drop some weight you can do it, and skin and other problems you can have it covered in a lot of places if it causes other medical problems. You might even find a doctor willing to do things for you free of charge. Change is possible, if you want it bad enough. -Sounds like you need to find out what you want to do with life, once you figure that out, work isnt work. - I will give you some blunt truth about meds, they do work and lots of people think that once they work they dont need them, but there is no shame of that. There are tons of meds on the market there is a combo that works for you, but you have to work with the doc to find that combo, which includes possible lifestyle changes etc. - Again sins are written by morons -FYI McCandless which is the guy from into the wild aka the real person there was no painless death, he starved to death from his own stupidity nothing about that is romantic, or smart. -Also no painless way to kill yourself, that is the absolute truth. Even pills can do a lot of damage and Pain before they kill you. Thats if they kill you, most people pass out and Vomiting in their sleep. ', 'OP the fact that you wrote this is a cry for help. It shows that you dont actually want to do what you are talking about doing. Talk to someone, your life is fixable, there are lots of resources and things for people that have gone through what you have. ', '911, safe than sorry and it will put your friend on the radar to get the help he needs, so he doesnt do it again. ', 'Hopefully they can figure out something. ', 'Thing will get better, college can happen at any age it doesnt have to happen now. You got lots of time. My suggestion is give it some more time, check out some more resources, sometimes when things are done in a pinch they dont work as well. Can you go to a college that is local, so you can live at home, work, get financial aid and go to school?My other advice to you is if these people were truly your friends they wouldnt just not communicate with you, in truth most people dont keep their high school friends through out life. ', 'I will ask this and I apologize if it doesnt work. Are you immune to drugs or is it a mental thing? Are you messing with yourself so to speak? Ie if you believe the drugs wont work, they wont. Often with Depression drugs alone dont do the trick. ', 'Yeah well maybe that is not a bad thing. Buddy sounds like he could use some intervention, and even when people think their parents are going to react badly often they do not, they are just happy their kid is not dead. ', 'So what do you like? College isnt for everyone but there might be a trade etc that is right up your alley. If you are having issues talk to a health professional as well they can hook you up with resources that are free that can help with coping methods etc. ', 'Your 17, you dont know what living is yet. That sounds horrible and harsh but its true. Talk to your parents, friends, someone you trust, get yourself help. ', 'Put it this way, if you Tired 23 times and failed there is a reason. If it was something you really wanted to do, you wouldnt have posted this, and you wouldnt have had 23 almost check outs. Youve been through some awful shit there is no denying that, and I am not trying to negate that. But living and thriving after something like that is possible, and you are not alone in your experiences or what you are feeling. Even if it feels that way. ']",Supportive
user-163,"['Prude bitch called 911 to treat a fucking bruise? A **fire truck**? *Seriously?* Im no lawyer, but I would assume a serious assault charge would require a professional and unbiased medical examination. It sounds like her ego took the biggest blow that evening, if anything (harass bystander, get punched, cry like a baby). Youre awesome for showing her that you wont take any shit from people who try to treat you like a doormat.Theres no way, dude. Youre going to be just fine. Id be surprised if they even showed up. My mom got a court summons by some dickhead police officers, who ""interviewed"" her while she was in a state of hysteria following a serious 5-car accident caused by heavy rain that almost killed us. She couldnt even form fucking sentences and the cop cited her for driving recklessly or some bullshit based on her incoherent babbling. I wanted to beat him unconscious. Court summons arrived in the mail later that month, all the days up to the court date I thought my mom was going to break down at any moment.Court date finally came, they had to drive all the way to Connecticut to the court. No sign of the policemen. Fuckers never even showed up. They didnt have a case and they knew it. We won by default.From one chemical engineer in-training to another. I salute you. Stand tall. PM me anytime you have a question or need to splooge your thoughts somewhere. Doesnt matter if I have no idea who you are. Ill listen.Let us know how it went.']",Supportive
user-164,"['That reminded me of a scene in Crime and Punishment where Raskolnikov walks out of a bar, he find himself on a bridge and he is about to jump when a cart runs over a man nearby.  I dont know what the point of me telling you this.  I am sorry that youre feeling this way though, breakups are hard.  It took me a year to get over mine.  A long, shitty year.  But things do get better, hang in there.  If you want someone to chat with Im here to talk.', 'I read about a girl with schizophrenia who wrote about ""bridging worlds"" I cant say I understand what that would entail but could it be an option? ', 'My ex is diabetic, my sincere condolences for what youre going through. Ive seen how shitty it is when youre body doesnt have the food it needs.  ', 'Ahh, Im so sorry thats all bad.  Ive been in emotionally abusive relationships before, they are so emotionally taxing.  How does she mess with your head?  If you dont mind me asking.  ', 'Well Im here to talk if youd like. Im sorry to hear you had a traumatic childhood.  Depending on where you live I know there are a lot of support groups out there that can be pretty helpful.  I did that for a while.  ', 'Whats the life you want? ', 'Id be happy to chat with you :)', 'Youre never to old to play with toys!  Im really sorry youre sad though, i wish I could help.  What is your life had made it so bad? ', 'Im sorry youre going through so much, and Im sorry no one picked up at the hotline.  Anything you want to get off your chest?  Or just want to have some random conversation to distract you from the negative thoughts?', 'What did it feel like?', 'I dont know, I liked mine when I used to go.  I didnt feel like I could trust my friends opinions on anything because I felt like they already had such harsh judgments on my life.  I needed someone who knew nothing about me or my friends and who I could trust had significant level of intelligence to help me evaluate some situations and figure out if I was thinking clearly.  Turns out I was mostly thinking clearly.  She helped me clear up some other things.  ', 'Have you tried talking to the about your concerns, or asking them why they have been acting like that? ', ':)', 'Do you live somewhere conservative or otherwise unaccepting of homosexuality? My heart goes out to you, I cant even imagine how much it must suck feel unaccepted by the world.  If its any help at all I accept you for who you are 100%.  Everyone has room for improvement, no one is perfect, but everyone deserves to be accepted and given a chance in this world.', 'Im sorry youre in so much Pain right now, it sounds like youre having a rough time.  Ive been with someone who felt similar to you the way you do, he was scared that if he let me in close and I got to know him I would leave him.  He put up a facade and I could see the way it Pain him.  Im glad to hear youre getting help.  If you want someone to talk to Im here to listen and chat<3', 'Reading through your posts Im kind of blown away with everything youve been through. Youre an incredibly strong person and Im sorry youre so lonely. ', 'I have some time to talk :)', 'What part of California are you in?  I know the school district I live in hires subs and paras frequently and that would be a good in for am eventual teaching position I think. ', 'I was sitting in a coffee shop the other day and kept making eye contact with the guy sitting across from me.  I never talked to him and was briefly heart broken when he left.  I got over it just as fast but the example you made reminded me.  Ive always had a hard time dealing with the transient nature of life.  Every time I meet someone I hold on to this idea that were going to be friends forever even though I know its not true.  And then when things eventually putter out it makes me sad.  And youre right, I think that was a really good analogy.  I hadnt thought about it that way.  Relationships on here to come and go faster and more often that relationships made elsewhere on the internet.  Sometimes I feel like Im acting offensively when I pop back into peoples life. Like since I havent been around the whole time what gives me the right to suddenly show up now.', 'Well I can try to help with the loneliness.  What do you mean by a fucky friend?  It sounds like you have an overwhelming amount of stuff going on in your life right now.', 'Im sorry youre going through all of this, youre clearly a Tired strong person to be able to live with this and still be able to form clear rational thoughts.  I remember reading a story about a girl who had schizophrenia and eventually learned how to kind of build a bridge between her different dimensions so she could cope with all of the realities she had to deal with.  Youre good at writing, do you think you could funnel some of this energy out into creative writing?  ', 'Youre an incredibly strong person, to have made it through life with so few resources.  Are there any housing programs in your area to help people who cant afford rent to transition into housing or maybe somewhere with subsidized housing?  When youre Depression it can be near impossible to see what options are out there.  How long have you been sleeping in motels and at peoples houses? ', 'What parts do you disagree with?  ', 'Maybe its one of those times where you need to take inventory of friends and sort out who the real ones are?  It seems like youve started that already.  Have you tried talking to a therapist?  Does the Delusional disorder seem like its getting worse?', 'How long have you felt suicidal.  I did for a few months almost a year ago now, but it was triggered by circumstances so I know that can be Tired different from clinical Depression.  I got out of it by forcing myself to do new things, meet new people and eventually moving out of a shitty place.  ', 'Im so sorry you have had to deal with all of that.  I cant even begin to imagine what it must be like to have to grapple with those memories and the emotions that go with them.  I would want to get away too I think.  Ive seen so many people come back from dark places and you still have so much life ahead of you.  You must be a strong person want to become and emt and at 19 that is still pretty young.  Its impressive.  Im sorry if Im just rambling, I wish I was better at offering words to help people feel less Depression.  But if you can become  an EMT by 19 it seems to me like youd have a lot of untapped potential.', 'Totally understand :) ', 'I went through the same thing when I broke up with my ex.  Distractions were what saved my life. ', 'I love science fiction.  Im finishing up Stranger in a Strange Land now.  At one part they talk about how when someone dies its really just like their soul is getting sent back to the end of the line so they can try again.  I liked that, I think if I had to pick a theory on what happens after death to believe in itd be that one.  But Im just rambling at this point and not being helpful Im sure.So you feel like youve just reached the end of your rope?  When did this all start?  It sounds like its more or less been a life long struggle.', 'Im sorry you are in so much Pain right now.  Its hard to see through the Pain, but there is light out there somewhere and you can find it.  You have people who are there for you, who love you, you dont need to go through this alone, they will support you.  Try not to tell yourself things like, ""my situation probably doesnt sound bad,"" dont discredit the Pain your feeling.  If you feel it it is real.  Fear and Anxiety are so hard to overcome, and it takes a lot of time and hard work, but just take things one day at a time and youll be okay.  I live in California and there are times when no one in the room speaks English, I meet people everyday who can barely speak English.  I dont judge them, in fact I admire them for making the effort to learn another language and the strength and courage it takes to move to a new country and start a new life somewhere.  You have that courage in you and I admire it :) ', 'Finding people is hard, they come and go out of your life.  I am surrounded by friends but I still feel lonely sometimes.  What part of the world do you live in?  I souls be really frustrated too if I couldnt leave my town easily. As for job hunting, it sucks, i am sorry youre having trouble with it.  Maybe give yourself a break from it and start again refreshed in a month or so?', 'Relationships can cause emotions that are insanely difficult to deal with, and what youre going through sounds like its pretty intense.   Im really sorry you are in so much Pain right now, but I promise it will get better. Its easy to underestimate the bodys ability to heal, both physically and emotionally.  After my last relationship ended I felt like I would never find love like that again, that I was always going to have lingering Feeling unhappy that I couldnt shake.  Just take things one day at a time, itll Pain but youre not going through this alone and each day it will Pain a little less.  ', 'God that must have been terrifying.  Its so hard to watch people treat themselves that way.  At ten that probably forced you to grow up a lot too.  I remember my ex would stay in bed all day and then Id hear him start throwing things at the door because his blood sugar would get so low he wouldnt want to move and Id have to bring him things to eat.  Hows getting to work and stuff without a car?  Is it doable?', 'That sounds overwhelming when its all added up.  I still dont feel like Ive put myself back together since my last relationship ended.  I wish I had better advice.  are you still in university?', 'Ask family or friends if they need any help,  handyman help, cleaning.  Anything to do something for someone else. Youll be with people, keep yourself busy and feel accomplished for doing something.  Youre not alone, and your life is beautiful and full of worth. ', 'You seriously were dealt a bad hand.  I cant even imagine that much Pain.  You cant blame yourself for all of it though, you sound like a genuinely good person. I dont really know what to say but Im here if you need to talk and I dont think you should give up on life yet. ', 'You know typed out a response to this Friday and just let it sit in an open tab for a few days because I felt like I needed to add something more and then never sent what I did have.  I feel like I unintentionally end a lot of conversations that way.  Its dumb.  But think thats Tired beautifully put.  Life is really about enjoying things while they are there, because nothing lasts forever.  Friends are no exceptions.  ', 'I read a book a couple years ago and one of the characters had Tinnitus that drove him crazy but there where times when he was at peace if he did something or something.  I dont remember it all that well but it just really stuck out to me how awful it sounded =/ So again, Im Tired sorry for what you are going through, I can even begin to understand what its like.  I hope they are able to find a way to help you at the other doctor.And Im glad I could help distract you, I love having people to talk to so feel free to hit me up any time, I get busy sometimes so I may not always be able to respond but if I can help Id be happy too.So is your job loud?  If it is it would probably be worth leaving, would you be able to file a workmans comp claim or anything like that?   ', 'Im sorry you have to deal with all that, it sounds shitty.  Is their behavior in response to anything in particular? ', 'So it is a physical Pain?', 'Do you live in San Francisco?  I think even if you at least work in SF you probably qualify for healthy sf and I think it includes mental health care.  I remember when I was with my ex I did a lot of research on free/affordable psychiatric help and theres a decent amount in the bay area.  Also if youre in Alameda County they have health pac.   I dont know how much of this has changed with Obama care or whatever its called.   But there are options out there that dont involve risking your life.   Im from the bay area so Im more than  willing to help you research options if youd like, also Im here to talk if you want someone to talk to.  ', 'It seems like a reasonable concern to me.  What have they done that have raised your suspicions? ', 'Im here to talk.  What have you been in the hospital for? ', 'Whats wrong?', 'Damn, Im really sorry.   Thats a lot of rough shit to deal with.   I used to work in a middle school and know what is like to have students that dont give a shit, its pretty disheartening.   Im really sorry about your loss, I cant evening imaging losing a child.  Humans have an incredible ability to push through and grow stronger though,  as a biologist Im sure you cab attest to the incredible adaptability of humans.   But for now allow yourself time to be sad or angry or whatever emotion comes up.   Vent and rant if you need to, Im here to listen if you want someone to talk to.  ', 'Would couch surfing or staying with friends be an option while you saved up for a security deposit?  Damn, thats so much to deal with Im so sorry you have to go through all that.  You sound like you have figured out a clear path and know what you need to do to get better though, I think that counts for something.  Im sorry about the obstacles standing in your way though.  If you want someone to chat with or vent to Im here.', 'Happy Birthday.  ', 'I went through that sort of thing with my ex.  I never got through to him when we were dating, I dont know if I tried to hard or maybe he just wasnt ready to deal with things.  We were together for three years and broke up 8 months ago, he just started coming around and talking to me about things.  I think Anxiety is just one of those things that requires and insane amount of patients, a lot of baby steps, a lot of time.  Some days will be better than others.Dont forget to take care of yourself though, its great that you are there for others but you need to be there for yourself too.  Its really hard to be there for others when youre struggling yourself.  ', 'I just spent my 22 birthday alone, none of my coworkers or friends remembered.  It sucks, Im sorry youre alone on your birthday :( Id love to talk to you though, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ', 'Hah, thats funny, I said the same thing when my teacher said that to me a year ago.  ""I wish someone had told me that sooner.""  But sometimes I wonder if people had told me that sooner and I just didnt want to hear it, or not even that I didnt *want* too, more like I wasnt ready to hear it.  I think sometimes we just reach points in our lives when were ready to take things in.  You are a real person and youre life has meaning, I promise. All of your feelings are completely valid.  Sometimes the only way to figure out who we are is through who we are not.  Im sorry youre chest hurts and I wish I could ease the Pain, the best I, or anyone, can do is try to help you carry these feelings until youre able to learn what to make of them.  That being said, Im more than willing to talk/listen if you feel like unloading/venting/ranting.  ', 'Life isnt about being happy, is about finding meaning.   If you reach out to someone it probably will make them sad to learn about how much Pain youre r in, but thats okay.   As humans we sometimes need to see our emotions reflected back to us in another human, or simply just to let the emotion out.   Dont be afraid to reach out,  happiness cannot be lost forever.   ', 'Why do you feel that way about yourself?', 'You **can** fight it.Im sorry to hear about that girl, I know how it feels to know about something awful that is going on and be too far away to do much, but being there for her and supporting her is probably helping her more than you know.  If you want to talk Im here :)', 'What are you studying? What do you want to do with your education?  Focusing on school work can be really hard (Im supposed to be doing that right now hah) dont beat yourself up over having difficulties, Ive found the more I shame myself for not doing something the more Anxiety I feel when I think scout doing it. I dropped out of college too and when I went back I started with just two classes at a time and worked my way up to being a full time student.  Its going to take me longer to transfer out of community college and some people veiwed it as me being lazy but in the end doing whats right for your own personal learning style is what really matters. ', 'You dont sound nuts at all!  You sound like youre going through some pretty normal yet extremely difficult phases of the healing process.  What are you majoring in?  Do you have any ideas for where youd like to work?  ', 'I dont think you should be so hard on yourself, you seem Tired smart.  I grade is just a letter and C doesnt mean you wont get into a good college.  And even if you do end up going to community college there isnt anything wrong with that.  When I graduated high school I freaked out that I didnt get into the college I wanted and thought my life was over because I had to go to community colleges with ""all the kids that werent good enough to go to a real college"" but in reality as long as youre going to school youre doing better than like, 80% of the population.You probably hear this a lot and dont want to hear it again but here it goes: youre still so young and have SO MUCH ahead of you.  After high school youll look back and think, ""Why did that seem like such a big deal?"" Youll meet new people and make new friends.  Things change so much so fast and you wont want to miss out on a minute of it!  BUt for now just take things one day at a time, you seem like a Tired strong, sound minded person and you can do this.', 'Ive been where you are before, its rough and Im really sorry youre going through this.  I do think it is worth it to hang in there because the only thing that is guaranteed in life is change, so its likely things will get better.  Even if you have to tough it through some shitty times.  What brought all this on?', 'I dont think you are seeing things wrong.  I think you are seeing the Pain and suffering in the world, its the curse of an active and intelligent mind and its overwhelming as all hell.  But there is good in the world, and there are people out there leaving a positive trace.  In my last relationship I was lied to for over a year straight and then I was cheated on, it was so incredibly crushing.  I understand not wanting to trust people, its hard and risky, but I dont think you should trust anyone unless they really earn it anyways.  Maybe try seeing a new doctor?  Its worth shopping around and fining one that actually helps.  It sounds like youre Tired smart and would have a lot of really interesting things to talk about.', 'If you feel like chatting with someone i wouldnt mind taking :)', 'Life testing everyone... that definitely resonates with me right now.  Im not sure what lesson life is trying to teach me though.  Have things been coming together perfectly for you?  Or have you learned any lessons from life recently? ', 'What do you mean by disintegrate? Whats bothering you? ', 'What does a protectionist do? And I understand, pending to be happy to makes friends can just make me feel worse sometimes.  What kind of things are you into? Do you go to conveys or plays or anything? And youve made one new friend (me) without having to be happy. ', 'I understand completely.   And I agree,  you cant get by with just online friends.   We need real human bonds, physical contact is crucial to being human.   I dont think the bonds made here should be a substitute for going out into the world and meeting people or spending time with people you already know.   But if you can make meaningful bonds through reddit and meet people that can help you, the thats okay too, even its only for a few days at a time.   I dont think its unhealthy,  I just think its a different kind of friendship that isnt a substitute for friends you see in person.   Our generation is pioneering this weird technological age where we have tools like the Internet and reddit.   Somewhere along the line we decided the Internet wasnt ""the real world""  and invalidated the human interaction we have through it.   I think that if you can use these tools as support to help you redefine your life so it isnt about Pain and suffering then thats awesome.  Im sorry if Im talking to much,  I feel like Ive had these ideas in my head for a while and for some reason you seem like someone I want to share them with.  So I hope my replies are as relevant as I think they are. ', 'Damn. So theyre garnishing your wages automatically as it comes in? I add to deal with that for a while.  How much until its paid off?  ', 'That sounds like it could be really interesting, do you have any I could read?', 'You sound like youre in a pretty shitty spot right now and Im sorry to hear that.  It seems like youre not dwelling on the bad things that are happening and that is good, but dont try to pass them off as not a big deal or act like they arent bad or affecting you negatively.  I had an ex who had Diabetes mellitus and didnt take care of himself Tired well at all, it killed me to watch so I know how Pain it can be to have that around.  Ill pray to the car gods to take it easy on you too, jesus! ', 'What kind of stage acting do you do?', 'Potential friend?  I guess the point I was trying to make was that you dont always have to mask your emotions to meet people.  And that sounds like a pretty cool job.  ', 'This is just another experience, albeit not a pleasant one, that youll come out of having said you did it.  Persevere through as much as your can but dont think there is any shame in saying, ""this is not for me."". You *are not* pathetic in any way.  You are brave for having taken so great a leap and you are equally as brave for being honest with yourself and admitting it isnt making you happy.  ', 'Anxiety can be a huge bitch to deal with. Do you have a therapist you could talk to?  They would certainly have the best advice for dealing with Anxiety. I like to be around family when mine gets bad. Or close friends. When thats not an option I try to channel the energy into something at least quasi productive. Im sorry youre going through all this,I hope things start looking up soon.', 'Its a scary thing to hear that someone you care about it suicidal.  Do you think that you might be telling them about it because you do not really want to do it?  im sorry youre so lonely, do you know what it is that triggered your Depression? ', 'I lost a close friend to a herein overdose recently and after that ended up cutting other friends that I know use out of my life.  Not because theyre bad people but it was just Pain to feel like I couldnt help my friends and I didnt want to go through losing a friend to a  overdose again.  I dont know if it helps to hear that but I guess its some perspective from the other side.  FDealing with Depression us isolating and it sucks.  How old are you? If you dont mind me asking.  ', 'I have no idea, did I say something wrong?  Im sorry if I did.  ', 'Its the little things in life :)', 'Haha I watched lion king with some students yesterday and cried like 3 times!  Disney movies really know how to strike a chord. ', 'What kind of stuff have you gone through? What emotions do you consider to be your true emotions?  What is the truth that you are trying to accept? ', 'Im so sorry for all the Pain youre in.  Have you talked to a doctor about these things?  If so did they have any advice?  I cant even imagine what it must be like to be in that much Pain all the time.  ', 'You got this :)  taking the first step is the hardest part but once you get past that youll feel a lot better. Whenever I have to make phone calls like that I like to write out a list of steps and things I need to say. Then I try to detach myself from the conversation, like Im going. Into autopilot, or im someone else, or Im calling about someone else. Youre making a wise choice and to you most definitely have the strength to take this first step. Yo u have my support, let me know if you need anything :) ', 'What do you do while youre awake?  Im sorry youre in so much Pain, if you feel like venting to a stranger Im all ears (eyes?) ', 'What do you do for work? And what do you study? ', 'If you ever do write and feel like letting someone read it i would love to.    I cant even begin to imagine what it must be like inside your mind.  Have you always been like this?', 'Im so happy that youre feeling better and Im glad I was able to help!  You sound like a Tired strong person and even though its hard sometimes you are stronger than these urges. I believe it.  If you want to keep chatting on Skype, or if you want to save it to chat later or anything feel free to PM me, I could always use another friend :)', 'No, you didnt say that.  Just someone downvoted me so I thought maybe I did.  ', 'Its not foolish!  You dont need to choose, its totally possible!  What field are you in?  If you have money you can travel, you can meet people from all over the place.  I have lots of friends who moved around once they got their job until they found the right city for them.  It sounds like you have the opportunity to do that so dont let anyone make you feel like youre being foolish or naive, get out there and live life!!', 'Im glad to hear things are looking a little better.  Small changes in perception now start to really add up down the road.  ', 'Im so sorry youre going through this.  I cant believe your husband is treating you like this, I know it will be Pain but it will probably be much better for you in the long run if you can get away from him. You deserve someone who appreciates everything you do and is happy to be with you.  ', 'Sorry for the late reply, yesterday got kind of crazy.  Death is extremely sad, and its more than okay the  be sad about it.  But its just as much a part of life as living is.  Ive never been all that religious but I do feel like just the body dies and the soul is eternal.  I do think consciousness can really die.   The thing Ive noticed about dealing with death is sometimes it feel like the end of the world, and even at its worst you still somehow wake up the next day, and then the next day, and the next.  And one day it isnt as Pain to think about them.   I lost a really close friend last April and I still cry when I think about him sometimes, I still regret the last time we talked about making plans and never did.  But I cant think about it now without feeling like Ive been kicked in the chest. ', 'Hello, Im here to talk.   Death is a hard thing to dead with, Ive had to deal with a lot of it this past year.  ', 'Being stalked is scary/ creepy, Im sorry those girls are bothering you.  And Im Tired sorry to hear about your parents, it must have been really Pain losing them at such a young age.  ', 'Do you work or go to school?', 'Everyone has something to offer.  Even little things that you know somehow might make someones day a little brighter.  Write someone a litter or a postcard. Go for a walk and look at how amazingly beautiful our world is.  ', 'What kind of stuff are you dealing with? ', 'I think you are really helping them.  Its hard to know what to say to people that need help or are really down, but a lot of the time just knowing someone cares enough to listen help enough.   ', 'You definitely shouldnt be embarrassed!! But I completely understand at the same time.  Everyone needs support sometimes, ESPECIALLY those who support others.  I work in special ed so most of my job is helping students and its so draining.  I would imagine your job would be even more draining.  But rewarding, think of all the peoples whose lives you are positively impacting.  I feel kind of hypocritical saying this because asking someone for help when I need it is something I still struggle with, but really there is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.  You are a strong person, and you deserve support from others.  ', 'Hello, Im sorry youre dealing with all this right now.  It sounds like youre on the right path to helping yourself; seeing a therapist, reaching out for support.  I can understand wanting to withdraw when you get Depression, I went through the same thing not too long ago.  I felt overwhelmed by everything and just wanted to spend time alone and not deal with  people.  I think forcing myself to hang around my friends helped me.  Im not sure if that is good advice though.Do you feel like something triggered the Depression or is it more like youre brain just decided to do it.  ', 'Life is hard, what kind of stuff are you going through right now? ', 'Well you are undoubtedly a fantastic writer, that brought me to tears.  I always wanted to be a writer, Im going to school to be a teacher though because as it turns out the thought of anyone else reading my writing bothers me.  What kind of stuff do you write?It must feel really shitty to always be on the losing side, Im sorry things havent worked out well for you.  ', 'When youre in high school teachers and sometimes parents or other adults make it seem like if you dont do good in high school thats it,  youre done forever. That is not how it really is,  you have SO many more chances after high school! Dont let the Pressure of grades bring you down,  you can always go to community college or some other type of trade school.  Maybe after high school just get a job,  save up, travel, take some time to see the world, or even just some other states. Move somewhere else and go to community college. Youre still so young and have so much ahead of you that you didnt even know was out there! ', 'What news did you get?  ', 'Death is a truth and it can be beautiful (especially the way you have described it) but there is no reason to rush it.  You will die one day, but hopefully it wont be for a long time.  Youre still young and you have so much ahead of you, maybe one day someone will say something remarkable and life changing but you have to push through the Pain so you can give yourself that chance.', 'I see, I wish I was able to offer more useful advice or something.  I can definitely understand how you can feel hopeless.  I dont think you should give up home though, from an outsiders perspective (though it probably isnt worth much) it seems like there is still hope.  Is it that you dont have the energy to go to the pharmacy to get the meds or you dont have the financial resources to get them?  Also if you think it might help I could share your etsy page on facebook or something, just to help it get some coverage. ', 'I didt feel that way with my therapist.  Maybe it depends on where you live.  I feel like I did almost all the talking and she only stepped in to make observations that might help me see things differently or more clearly.  Also coping mechanisms, those were super useful.', 'Im okay, how are you?', 'I dont know if I say I blame myself, more that I just cant wrap my mind around it.  I guess I do blame myself for taking him and his friendship for granted.  Now I just try to be there for people in my life every chance I get.  Im glad to hear youre feeling stronger.  You clearly got a lot of support but if you ever want someone to just talk to let me know :) ', 'Can you ask your fiance to stay with you today until you can get in to see your therapist tomorrow?  Im sorry youre going through so much right now, it sounds terrible.  ', 'Thats rough, I hope she makes some more changes soon.  Diabetes is such a scary disease. And I hope the dealer fixes your car! What kind of stuff do you do for work?', 'I cant even imagine how tough it might be right now!  I wish there was some way I could ease the Pain for you =/ And please do hit me up. And definitely see whats up with workmans comp.  I used to work at the airport and saw people get comped for way less.  What kind of work do you do?', 'Did this just happen or is this something that is going to happen?', 'I totally understand finding comfort in the BDSM lifestyle and using it as a way to cope with or escape from parts of everyday life, but maybe the more intense role play/ relationship dynamics should be saved for when youre in a more stable mental state.  It  could potentially be harmful to both you and your partner when youre not thinking straight. Thank being said Im so sorry youre hurting so much right now, that sounds like a difficult situations.  Relationships ending are hard enough without one party trying to stay connected or blur the lines of friendship and relationship.  Stay strong and Im here if you want to talk or vent.', 'Im free to chat as well :) ', 'Where are you? ', 'Anytime :)', 'Im sorry things",Indicator
user-165,"['Thank you for sharing i hope everything goes well for you and best of luck finding a stable career!', 'Hey are you still there man can we talk', 'Hey theres a reason you have heard the ""wait and eventually you will move out"" because it seems to be the safest option alternatively you can contact child protection services or someone at your school like a principal or guidance counsellor.  You have two other siblings do the right thing if you Fear your safety then this might not be the best option but its all you got its one shot killing yourself will just end everything I dont know if you believe in afterlife but I would bet my chips on it. even if you dont decide to talk about your parents please please please see a counsellor its important that you receive the support you need if you have any questions PM me', '^ i second this', 'Please seek help i know its cliche but we all need our support system and with your mother gone you need to build a new support system and seeking help can really solve that problem']",Supportive
user-166,"['Sounds like you need closure.Ive been in some pretty bad places in my life. Ive done some really bad things. Ive Pain a lot of people.The only way yo move on is to get closure. \tWrite him a letter, and with it, leave the injured part of your soul in the ink. Move on.You dont have to write a letter, but you get the idea. Let him know how you feel about what you did. But again, leave it there. \tLeave it all there.Ive tried killing myself before. A few times.Im glad some days that I didnt. Ive overcome that constant Feeling unhappy and have achieved a lot of great \tthings, and have had something genuine \tgreat times.You need to confront your Feeling unhappy, and murder it, or it will murder you. Your Feeling unhappy is not who you are.']",Attempt
user-167,"['You know, that does sound appealing. A white room is appealing because it is devoid of all sensory input. You want this because you are dissatisfied with something. It would provide the ultimate opportunity to rest, for people to me and you. Death is not that room. Death is the room at which all is black and your thoughts are forever frozen. No future existence of them is guaranteed, though it is possible. I often go for walks, or skis. When it is snowing it is Tired like that white room I imagine. A beautiful place. I believe in you.', 'Im just another being on this humble plane, but Id like to offer what advise I might have, so here goes. It may not get better at school. School is not the only place there is. Dont give up after trying one path; there are more and they are more different than you would believe. Life could probably get a lot better in your next stop; I bet youd be seriously motivated to succeed if you changed paths. Death is of course not what you really, really want. Wouldnt you like to try something exciting before passing on? How about this, there are people on reddit who would talk to you every day. Personally. Do you think that might help support you?']",Supportive
user-168,"['Additionally, I dont want to die by being killed by something or someone other than myself. If I didnt die by committing suicide then no one will know how much Pain ive been in. They might remember me and be like, yeah, she had Suicidal thoughts, but was never serious.']",Ideation
user-169,"['Hi,I want you to be happy. I want you to be free from the suffering. You seem to have a good heart. This is rare. I know a way to free yourself from external factors. A way to gain happiness within. Meditation changed my life. Im not talking about some esoteric bullshit. Im talking about transforming your mind. To live happy and peacefully. You deserve it. Just pm me and Ill tell you more.Take care friend!', 'And he is right! And think about all the other stuff that they programmed us with. Your worth in society for example. Its so fucked up what we were told. People kill themselves because they think they are not worth it. Worth it for what? There is no fucking reason to be alive. Dont be pressured into believing you have to be ""worth"" it. What does it even mean? Some arbitrary standard I have to life up to? Fuck that! Make your own standards. Dont look at what other people have or can do. Just look at yourself and what person you are. And to be honest, you seem like a decent guy! Cherish that!', '""itd be wasted on a selfish bastard like me"". Dont hate yourself man! No reason for that. Everyone makes mistakes. Dont look back to the past. The past already happened. You cant influence it. Look at the present moment. You feel like you have been selfish in the past? Ok, just try to have better intentions next time. Trust me itll work.If you want to talk, Im from Germany but my english is fairly good. Just pm me! Ill listen to you. I do care about you! ', 'You should try to love yourself. See, maybe you fucked everything up (in your opinion) but you did it with the intention of being a good person. We have little control over what happens with us in our lifes (at least partly), but we shouldnt blame ourselves. For example, you are trying to get a job. Its not that you are too lazy or just cant be asked. You should love youself for that! You do care about your children...how many people dont do that. You should care about yourself because you are a good person. Its just that shit happened to you that was (for most parts) out of your control. Please get rid of that part in your thinking that says you dont deserve things or that you are not worth it. Unfortunately this is just conditioning. We are told from young age how to be and what it means to be worthy of living in society, etc. To be honest fuck all that. In my book it only counts how well your intentions are. If you are a good person with good intention you deserve to be loved. So love yourself!', 'Then keep trying. It takes some time, even years...but itll be worth it!', 'That. And analyze the way you think. Why do we all think we have to achieve something special? Its the same reason we want to have kids. To live on forever (or at least our genes or our name). Once you realize that your head is basically fucking with you its easier to just let these thoughts be and to not act upon them. Dont get me wrong, theres nothing wrong with trying to achieve something for yourself, but if it doesnt work out you shouldnt worry about it. We all suffered from conditioning throughout our lifes. Thats why we think we are not ""worth it"" or why we seek happiness in the wrong places.Try to not look at what others have. Instead try to look inside yourself and see what little thing can make you happy.I meditate and have to say that things are getting more and more clear for me. We have a lot of baggage in our lifes. Meditation helps me to ""see"" this baggage....hell, it lets me laugh about it. Its like you see your mind telling yourself ""you are not worth it"" but you know its just conditioning of your mind. It lets you see these things objectively. Helped (and is helping) me a lot! Pm me if you want to talk or if you want any more details about meditation.', 'First of all I want to say, I want you to live! Well, you might say that I dont know you and you would be right. But I feel for you. I want you to be ok. I do care about you. First of all I would recommend getting professional help. Not the first person that is available but someone who you feel comfortable talking with. Someone nice that can help you out.Secondly get a steady job. Even if its a crappy one. Try some jobs involving Cannabis. You got arrested for possesion, but people working in this industry (head shops, etc.) wouldnt mind hiring you. Im pretty sure. At least give it a try.Thirdly, get away from that crazy bitch...she sounds mad! You cannot help your children right now. You have to sort out your life first. But dont worry. Crazy as she is she will make stupid mistakes and the kids will be given to you when your life is sorted out. And even if that is not going to happen...once your kids are old enough they want to get to know you and they will realize what a nice guy you are and what a bitch she is.You could try out meditation btw. I helped me hugely during times of Anxiety and depression. Talk about it with your professional help or pm me if you want to know details about it.I hope this post will help you out in any way!Next time I meditate I will think about you. May you be free from Suffering and may you live in peace and harmony.Some guy from Germany who cares!', 'And why do you need a decent job? Why not pick up trash for example? Its good for the community and for the environment. Just because someone defined wastemen to be not a decent living? Well someone has to do it. Its not about having a great job. Just get a job where you can help people or the community.', 'See that is your problem. You tried to be something to prove to other people that they are wrong. Find something you want to be. You might still be a loser in the eyes of most people, but you know what...fuckem! Its not about them. You have to feel good about yourself. And you should! The universe doesnt care if you achieve something or not. Try to enjoy yourself.', 'I know what you mean. But realize this...your perspective on life is defined by the things you have been told and by the way you think.Here are two quotes from the buddha (a person, not a god, who was able to transform his mind):\xe2\x80\x9cWe are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.\xe2\x80\x9dand\xe2\x80\x9cYou yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.\xe2\x80\x9dIm pretty sure meditation might do you good. I have done it for several years. Please contact me for details. Dont worry, Im not religous. Meditation has nothing to do with the religion buddhism. Its exploring ones mind. This exploring might help you find out what it is you need to be happy (and not what you have been told what happiness is supposed to be).', 'They do. Because they are all conditioned into believing in a fairytale about happiness. Make a difference. Be a happy person. So that another kid that sees you will see that there are people who are different. Use meditation. Use it a lot. You said you meditated before. Tell me about it. What kind of meditation and for how long?', 'But why is that? You have been made to believe in certain facts, like:- you have to achieve something in your life.- you are a loser if you dont do something productive with your life.But who says this? Its been feed to you since you were a small child.And btw. you should check with a doctor. It could be that you have a chemical inbalance. That can be a serious problem and might influence the way you think and act. Check with a doctor, please!', 'Hell, I smoke everyday! Its all good. Just get any job and smoke in the evenings.', 'Why did you stop? And did you do metta (loving-kindness) meditation towards yourself?', 'Depends, doesnt it? Depends on from which point of view you look at it! You get around and go to new places. Use that! Find friends there. Talk to people. It all depends on your attitude. The mind is a powerful thing.', 'Go and get yourself some hobbies. Join any club that is cheap or for free. Good way to get to know people and to get to know girls (worked for me).']",Supportive
user-170,"['Trying to without too many personal identifier details, but Im in school aiming at a Comptuer Science degree, though Ive often thought about swapping over to an English major, as I have some history in creative writing. The ludicrously low success rate of authors kind of keeps me going that direction, but that doesnt stop me from reading or writing my own works.Im also a sports enthusiast, and have a job on the side that involves teaching younger children how to better themselves at a particular sport. This is perhaps the most rewarding thing in my life, especially in 6 months intervals where I can really see the difference(s) Ive made, but Im not good enough, nor is there enough of a demand, to make this a career option.Most of my time is spent learning various aspects about different sciences; Im a sucker for things like Wired magazine, Popular Science, etc despite not really wanting to pursue any one of those fields. Reddit was a great discovery in that regard, because I get a lot more news about varying topics (and usually in a lot more detail) than I did from  magazine subscriptions, but theres only so much I can attempt to occupy my mind with before I end up in a rut again.*EDIT*In regards to walking out, I tried that and all it does is cause more drama within the family. At the moment, Ive been absolutely refusing to attend a meal that wasnt scheduled ahead of time to my knowledge in which my mother will attend, more as a statement about the whole situation than trying to protect myself from any potential conflicts. However, even that causes grief between the parties, and itll only be a matter of time before my resolve wears out and I fold,  becoming trapped in those kinds of situations far more frequently, where the cycle will renew.', 'I meant in regards to the sport in which I teach, not teaching in general.', 'Instead of recognizing her own limitations, shell attack her family members who try to help//point them out.Shes had serious health problems for my entire life, so shes always been on some form of medication or another. She also refuses to do things any way but her own, which would be relatively fine if she could talk about that with any of us, but instead, she always wants to use an intermediary. Because of this, Im always wary about visiting with her; there have been a number of times where weve gone out to dinner or something and arent told that shell be meeting us there and Ill receive and ear-full about whatever it is Ive done (or not done) thats bothering her that shes talked to my father about, and no amount of rationalizing or explanation will get me out of that.Its really sad when you have to second guess the motives of your parents for such simple things as dinner.', 'General distrust, ranging from an ultra-psychotic ex-girlfriend who was the main reason I ended up in a ward to begin with to an at times ultra-psychotic mother who went through a hell of a postpartum and is absurdly accident prone, most recently having been mostly crushed by a horse and being on the OFFENSIVE about her current problems//disabilities because of it.That, and I hold myself to be so much above the general populace, in particular because of my intelligence and because I have a better understanding of how things ""work"". It Pain me to know that Jersey Shore, for example, is even in the public eye, let alone that the life style is emulated and now mass-marketed.Its also really hard to walk through a mall and see a land-whale holding her child on a leash as it screams for attention because thats the only thing it knows how to do.']",Indicator
user-171,"['Ironically social work. I never really had fun with his friends, he was just emotionally stable but really really really lazy. Our friends were mostly people from his program in university, so I never really had too much to talk to them about. I feel so guilty that I dont feel sad that hes gone. I just feel so lonely all the time now. ', 'Still got another two years to go haha. ', 'Yeah I think we can do it, we totally got this! But it is *hard* to be normal. I spend so much time and energy trying to make it appear that my life is groovy and drama free that everything I do these days feels like a lie. How does temporary academic leave work? Thanks so much for the reply.']",Indicator
user-172,"['My close friends were worried. No I live in a dorm.', 'Yeah my ex goes to the same school. Some of my closer friends know, and Im sure there are currently rumors spreading. My family lives elsewhere in the state so I doubt they have heard anything.', 'Sad. Depressed. I wont be going to school for the next couple of weeks. ']",Ideation
user-173,"['Yeah,  I try to think of myself as independent but at a certain point I give in to my Asthenia and realize I just need someone to talk to. Really talk to. ', 'Yeah, I have to wait it out unfortunately.', 'I cant stand it. *Internet hug*', 'Sorry for the late reply I had gone to bed. Because it takes so much time for me to get over someone and I get so emotionally attached. ', 'I admit this is such an attention-whore thing for me to do. Its true. Its hard to say but its true. Its just that lately Ive been feeling so unloved. I just needed to hear it from someone, even from a stranger. Even if they dont mean it I needed to hear it. ', 'Times like these make me almost 10x more suicidal. Thanks, Ill keep in mind that I can talk to you. ', 'Basically my reply to harv83, its a really petty reason to be sad but for some reason its killing me.', 'No one ever has time to talk to me. Which I understand. They have busy lives. But Im hanging on a thread and Im in a state of despair. ', 'Im so Depression and my problems are so petty I feel shamed to complain about them. ', 'I saw the words ""thich nhat hanh"" and it was familiar with me. If you know of Ajahn chahn one of the quotes that really resonated with me is:""There is nothing in this world that does anything to anyone. Nothing worth Crying over, nothing worth laughing, nothing is either inherently tragic or delightful.""Which I am trying to live by. Things are only sad or bad if we perceive them that way. Everything is inherently empty until we fill them up with whatever meaning we give them. I am Tired much trying to think this way and keep this mentality although it IS hard. I believe if I keep trying Ill get closer to getting better at it.What you said about the Hungarian woman going back to her family, and what you said about love, I do believe thats what love entitles you to owe to it. No one reads the terms and agreement sheet for love lol. They just sign it at the bottom not knowing that Pain is part of it. Thank you again for just taking your time to message me and help me through this. I think its normal to feel what Im feeling but at the same time I wish my love for her was more....pure? maybe thats not a good word. Authentic/selfless. I wish my love wasnt founded on jealousy and insecurities because I know it is.', 'Thanks for being willing to listen. I hope you wont laugh at them they are simple problems. If I were to list them I guess you could say 1 - self loathing 2 - Existential crisis 3 - loneliness 4 - heartbreak ', 'I know I sound like a brat. Im really trying to be understanding of their busy lives but its been 4 months of being on the brink and 4 months of no one to support me but myself. Or Tired few times of those 4 months. Thank you for taking the time to listen. You know Ive just got so much on my mind I dont know where to start. ', 'Thank you. As pathetic as it sounds, I needed to hear that. From someone. From anyone.', 'So much, I honestly dont know where to start. ', 'Sure, Im down for a chat. ', 'Thank you, it means more than you can imagine to have someone willing to listen.', 'Lesbian here. Thank you, it really lights up my mood to hear those words. No one ever really tells it to me. So I admit I feel good hearing it, even from a stranger.', 'Its incredibly inspirational to read that. Because you, someone whos been though so much, is still where you are right now and its humbling to know that someone that had gone through that much still cares and takes my problem seriously.I wish this didnt Pain so much, I really wish it didnt. The truth is, it doesnt matter. Because in hindsight, 3 years from now none of this will matter and keeping this in mind does help a little bit.Im trying to learn to love selflessly. To love without expecting to be loved back and I think to do that I need to cultivate self love. And I have, but not enough to have it as the only love I need. And I do believe that is possible to reach. Im trying not to be so greedy with love but I need guidance.', 'Long story short, I have a friend I consider one of the closest people to me. Anyway, this friend has another friend, Friend A, and deep down, I always knew they loved friend A more than me and that made me incredibly jealous. Every time I talked to them about it they would deny it and say that they loved us equally. Anyway, recently they ended up admitting that they actually do, in fact, love friend A more than me and that just left me completely wrecked. And I know this is so fucking petty and such a dumb reason to be sad but Im crumbling right now.', 'I will definitely try and get in touch on Thursday. ', 'Lol I find them pretty laughable myself. Im glad you dont though. The heartbreak is pretty typical just me falling for someone with unreturned feelings. Unrequited love I suppose.', 'Its funny you mention Buddhism because I am Tired much into Buddhism. I am trying to use the philosophy on a day to day basis.You know what kills me the most? Jealousy. I am literally so goddamn jealous right now. What goes on in my mind is ""Why cant I be first?"" I think its partly because Ive known this person for so long and put so much into the friendship that it feels like I ""deserve"" it. Even though I know thats ego and that I should let go of ego.In some ways, I feel like I dont love her selflessly, because if I did, this wouldnt bother me. I love her with self-seeking intentions and I know a big chunk of me loves her  not for who she is but so that she can love me. And I know that is selfish and I am trying not to be.I just dont know what to do to make the Pain stop and to silence the jealousy. It feels like its going to fucking kill me.']",Ideation
user-174,"['Im sorry I couldnt answer sooner. I was away for the weekend. Im Tired glad you made plans and didnt give up. You can get through this. You have it in you I promise.I know you dont feel like doing anything or getting out right now but you can be happy again. You have made a habit of isolating yourself and feeling hopeless by living this way.It may take some practice, even if you dont feel motivated, but you gotta take some steps back towards living and get out of the isolation. It will come back to you and you will realize again what its like to want and enjoy when you consciously work on focusing your thoughts, making plans and taking steps towards it.', 'I did a lot of redditing today, which is unusual for me considering I only spend maybe 20 minutes to an hour on reddit most days.. but I stumbled upon two things. I searched ""homeless"" and while going through the countless accounts of people who have had it way worse than me I grew a much bigger appreciation for what I have that I always take for granted.I also saw this which I found heartwarming in a way, cause he effected so many people he never knew, and so do you. http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/j3p23/found_this_memorial_for_a_homeless_person_under_a/I also ended up searching the word ""kindness"" and spent 2 hours renewing my faith in humanity as a whole as I read the countless threads of random acts of kindness that were accounted for through so many different people and in so many ways.I understand that life can suck, Pain, be Common cold and unforgiving.. Ive been on the same edge youre standing on now.. but I also learned while backing away from that edge and looking around, that this life can be beautiful and I really want to BE that beauty for someone else. Someone in life will need YOU someday the way you need someone now. So be strong though its tough and get through this, so that you can be the good in this world, because it is out there and the world needs more of it.PM me if you want to talk more. Id love to listen', 'Dont give in. I went through a lot at a young age and spent a year in deep Depression. Divorced at 21. I thought my life was over. I had a future and it was with her, then it was all ripped away and was thrown into a reality where I could write my own future, I just wasnt allowed to have her in it.. It was crushing.I made it through though, after a year of dark Suicidal feeling, and honestly I learned more about myself and about life in that year than I ever thought I would know. I learned who I was and what I truly wanted to do. Found real friends, and started a new life with a new future that fulfilled me more than I thought possible with her even.Talk to someone, even if its me. Its not pathetic, I had to call a suicide hotline cause all my friends were split with the divorce, and I felt like a bother to my parents. But you do need to get this off your chest, when you hide it away it grows and you isolate yourself and disconnect. Find friends, find out what you love to do and do it. Make plans because it gives you reason.PM me or reply, I will listen/share.Keep your head up, Ive been there and there is hope.', ':)', 'Well, I believe you can find it. Happiness that is..Just remember, dont limit yourself to one chance. I think its something like 85% of businesses dont succeed the first time.It takes time to work it out. Youll get there and we will be here if you ever need to be lifted back to your feet.', 'Please stay with us.Listen it will get better, but you cant wait for it to do it itself. Though its not always fun, if you dont water the plants they will wilt. So find out the things that made you happy and start making plans to do them and getting yourself doing something. Waiting can be the worst thing sometimes because if you can sit idle.Keep yourself doing things you enjoy, you may not feel motivated right now, but once you take a few steps and get going itll come back to you and youll lose that idle feeling.If you need someone to listen please PM me. Id love to hear from you', 'Wow man, Im proud of you being able to sober up like that. Honestly that takes a lot for someone to commit to.I want you to know that you add more to this world than you can imagine and more than you will ever know. I stumbled across this memoir for a homeless man who had no one and lived alone under a bridge with cans in a cart. When he passed away in his sleep on night, it impacted those who occasionally just saw him in the area picking up cans so much they wrote and left a memorial for him under his bridge where he used to sleep. Signed by all the coworkers etc that remembered him.Even a flicker of light can brighten up a dark world. There seems to be so much ugly in this world, but when you search ""kindness"" on reddit you will have a renewed faith in humanity. What Im also getting at is you can be that for someone too. Just as much as you need someone now, someday someone may need you. Even if its just a smile from across the room while they had a terrible day.Dont give up, find someone to talk to who can listen and be understanding. Professional help if necessary. You have so much to live for and so many lives to impact still. You can PM me anytime, Im here to listen/share. Ive been there and back.', 'Dont give in please.You want to want to live. There IS something that makes you happy, due to the fact that if there wasnt a contrast to misery, it wouldnt BE misery.Talk to someone about this, or about anything really. Its this late night / isolated mind wandering that pulls you away from the world and grows inside of you. You have to un-isolate yourself and relieve it.Please talk to me if you need someone to hear you out or share my own experiences. PM or here', 'Well, I wouldnt consider spite the best motivation, but the point is you can do this without her if you have to. My ex girlfriend was kicked out at 15 and had to make her way in the UK since then, still going to school even taking care of some of her siblings etc. She found a way.It is tough I know, but you can rise above this. Friends or family may be able to help you with somewhere to stay, if not a shelter for now, just til you get on your feet. Honestly, if your mother is like most she will ask you back. If not, youll be stronger for this.Dont let someone else be the reason you ""cant make it"". That is YOUR choice to make. You can still make it even though she doesnt want to help. I believe in you and I care. Please talk to someone and you can PM me or reply here.Keep your head up, youre going to get through this and taking the right steps you will overcome this and be stronger for it.', 'Im really sorry that you feel this way. I want you to know that Im also one of the people who love too much at times. Thats why I subscribed here.Look, these people you talked about love you. You and I, we just view things differently on how to love and show it. I learned over the years that most everything in life comes down to perspective. We show love and receive love in different ways. We love hard and with everything, but we do it in specific ways. I tend to give gifts, verbally affirm, and do things for people to show them that love. Unfortunately some people dont effectively receive love in these ways.The biggest problem with this fact is that it takes both to understand each others give and take for it to work best. Since most people will never talk about this everyone just expects that when they are showing love, its being effectively received, when in many cases it isnt.Though you may not go have this convo with each person you know to solve the inherent issue. You can understand that maybe youre just not seeing the way they are trying to show you their love. I know my parents didnt seem to show me love the way I was expecting it. I also knew deep down they did love me though. Eventually I understood they were showing me, and I wasnt seeing it because I expected it in certain ways, while they were smothering me in a completely different way.Look, I know people say ""wait, it will get better."" and it can, but if you just ""wait"" its not going to. Change nothing, and the results will remain the same. So time to change some things and it will get better. Learn and find a better understanding of love, and your friends and family. Spend time with friends and family and dont disconnect or isolate yourself. Talk to someone, anyone, to relive this Pressure when you feel it. And start taking steps to be happy again because ultimately its up to you doing something about it. I promise you that you have everything it takes to overcome this already inside you if you will take the steps. Keep your head up. You can reply or PM me anytime if you need and I will listen.', 'Im really sorry that you are feeling like this. I know it sucks, Ive been through deep Depression and divorce at 21. And not having anyone your age have any clue what thats like seemed to make it so much harder.Anyway, what I noticed from what youve said is that youre obviously Tired. You feel like youve tried a lot and nothing came of it. The things you wanted to come of it seemed to be ""relationships"". Someone to talk to and be there for you or maybe a boyfriend or both.Well, It seems that you are waiting for something and expecting results. The problem is waiting and doing nothing doesnt change anything. To achieve results you must take steps. You also need to understand ahead of time that there will be bumps and when they happen, you just pick up and keep going instead of throw up your Weakness of hand and give in.No one can fix you. I promise you though that you have everything it takes to be happy and to find those things you need. Spend time out with friends and make new friends if you have to. All you need is to go hangout with people that like to do simple things like eat lunch, see a movie, go to the beach, etc.I care about you and I read all of this because I want to be here for you and to let you know that you will get through this. PM me or reply and I will listen. Keep your head up and start taking steps, start living.', 'Well again, if you want this, you have to do something about it. Sometimes things just happen. Rarely do they happen just the way you want. Time to stop sitting and waiting for another accidental hookup. Start thinking more positive and stop dwelling on these negative thoughts. It isnt true that there arent single people that you could want to date. Build up your confidence.You deserve to be happy and be happy with someone. It is a desire you have to be with someone and that person is out there looking for the same. I promise you wont find them if you dont seek them and Its not likely to fall into your lap if you dont pursue it.You need to fix this perspective of being the only one without someone, and being a beggar. I can tell through this conversation you are a smart guy, and you have plenty to offer someone. You have everything it takes to make this happen, but you gotta actually decide to make this happen. Get out there, keep your head up, and make something happen', 'Well I urge you to throw away the idea altogether. Remove it from being a choice. Everything it takes to over come this is already inside of you.What worries me about you keeping that ""just in case"" is that you and I both know that at some point, even when you are taking the right steps, something will disappoint you and you are going to face the feeling again. I dont want you to say ""welp ok"" You need to know it ahead of time and prepare yourself by saying, well I am making progress.. and this feeling has passed before, I need to keep going.""If youre going through hell, keep going."" Youll make your way out. Keep your head up.', 'Well from what youve said it seems the main issue that is causing this feeling for you is the isolation and loneliness.Nothing is wrong with you those people dont have it easier than you. It seems that you are waiting for another ""leader group"" to force you into a social scenario?Its up to you. Waiting around will bring no resolve to the issue no matter how much you dwell on these thoughts. It only isolates you further and the feelings seem to overwhelm. You need to talk about it, so Im glad youre here to vent. We cant fix you but you can.Now, its up to you to go out meet people, hang out with your friends, go out to lunch and movies etc. Facebook is one good way of networking, mutual friends, group trips to the beach, etc. You have everything it takes to overcome this situation and be happy again. It just takes you making it happen.Feel free to PM me or reply here to talk, Im here to listen/share. Keep your head up and start living.', 'Yes! I already have Death Note Downloaded and ready, I watched like half a season before but now I got all of it and the ""movie"" they made too :)', 'Dude, PLEASE tell me youre still with us?Money wont mean a thing when they miss their father and cant get him back :(You asked yourself: ""Whats the reason to keep living?"" and I can tell you. As much as you need someone now, there is someone, who may not even know you yet, that will need someone and thats you. You arent a selfish person, and you have a good heart. You know how I know that you have a good heart? Cause you are Worried still about your kids, and your parents when YOU are the one in need right now. Thats character my friend. But I also want you to know, that if youre uncomfortable talking with them, please PM me I have been through it all and I dont want you to make a mistake you cant undo.Dont give up, we need you.', 'Sorry I couldnt answer sooner, I was out of town for the weekend.I dont think others consider you scum. Also its time to change your perspective a bit and not allow everyone else to direct your well being.The quote goes: ""If youre going through hell, keep going."" The point is that if you stop where you are, you will stay in this hell. You have the choice to keep going though. When you take the steps to make a change and realize you have everything it takes to overcome this, you can find happiness and independence again.', 'You are young, but that doesnt discredit the feelings you have. I can actually say that at that age things seem to crash down so much harder due to a lack of experience or an inability to be independent and have to deal with parents etc.That said, It gets better, and you impact so many lives you dont even know. If other alternatives arent available now, you can talk to us, or even a hotline. Ive called hotlines myself and its good to just vent to someone who cares to listen and be understanding. You said that you have hidden the Depression for years and I think that is the biggest issue that leads to this. Getting it out and off your chest alleviates that Pressure, and helps you be understood and start towards getting away from it.You can feel free to PM me or reply here and Ill listen/share. Please dont make that mistake, Ive been there and Ive learned so much and become so much better through it. There are so many things for you to still do', 'Well, I went through divorce at 21 and a Tired real deep Depression for a solid year before I found out what I really wanted in life. It also took me a year of searching, and finding the right friends, and the right people to do this with. But that year, though it was the darkest, taught me more about myself than I ever thought I needed to know. 3 years later Im doing what I dreamed of and working towards my goals still. I finally found friends I can consider family (they have a million faults of their own as well lol) and Im finally happy again and wanting to give it to everyone who needed it like i did.Something you may consider, is the fact that when people dont have any plans, it leaves them without reason. Having something as simple as a plan to see a certain movie, or meet for lunch next Asthenia is huge. Even head to another state to visit in a couple months etc. Things that you want to do, not just things that are suggested and you do cause you ""should"".I care and I really hope this helps you, keep your chin up and please PM or reply here anytime', 'Im so sorry :/ Ive dealt with loss, but cant honestly say I fully understand the Pain you are in due to the circumstances. I hope you decide to ditch the alcohol and drugs cause I dont want to see anymore Pain.Also please PM me if you want to talk to someone..Also, please know, that though there is and always will be a huge part of your life missing.. there is so much more for you to keep living for. You have family and friends as well and they want to see you sober and happy. Someone is going to need you, the same way you need someone now.*hugs*', 'Well you say you love them? Love is also a verb. Its an action. You leaving them behind is no act of love it is an act of self. You can find rest comfort and relaxation here now, and fix this situation. You are just being unwilling to take the steps to do so.Im not arguing with you. Im just telling you that there are many ways for you to get better and be there for your family, as well as be happy again.', 'As am I. PM me anytime you need someone to talk to', 'Well you should get back into some! And keep the suggestions coming when you find new good ones! Definitely watch Claymore though, Ive watched it through twice (only two seasons, like 34 episodes) and I still enjoy it :)', 'Yeah, dont worry too much! I wouldnt dwell on thoughts like this too often just due to the morbid nature, but If you are having trouble with it face it head on and talk with some people about it. Learn a little about dreaming and what you can do to influence them. We Fear that which we dont understand :)', 'To be honest, nobody truly understands anyone. Its the beauty of life really. In the same way that we are all unique, we are all the same.You just need to change your perspective a little. Realize that you are unique and for someone to truly understand you to the core they would have had to live your life feeling everything you felt. Its okay that they dont. It makes you, you. And you are a stronger person when you understand this about yourself. You just cant expect others to understand you.You should talk about it with someone though. It does help them understand why you feel the way you do if you can explain things to them. They arent meant to fix it, but talking about it helps relieve the Pressure.Lastly stop trying to live for everyone else. You said you will never get what you want, so you know what you want. Time to start living and go after it. You should also get out and spend time with friends who can enjoy that same things. Isolating and disconnecting only make things worse.I believe youll get through this and I know you have everything that you need to get through this already inside of you. PM me or reply if you need someone to listen or share. Ive been through deep Depression myself, and there is a way out for you if you are willing to take a step.', 'Its not about it becoming ""More manageable"" people who say ""Wait it will get better"" are wrong. Its insanity to believe that by waiting, or essentially doing the same thing, that you are going to get different results. Stop wasting time waiting around.No one can change things for you except you. Its your perspective being skewed. You think that every time something goes wrong you need to throw your Weakness of hand up because ""Well it just never gets better"". Try understanding that things are going to happen, and not all of it is ideal. You dont have to take it so hard, you can understand and know that its not the end of the world and you can grow from it instead and go on being happy.You have everything it takes to get better and be happy. Problem is youre not doing anything about it yourself. Therapist can listen and suggest, and meds can throw chemicals at you. but essentially Its completely up to you to put any of it in action, including actually consciously redirecting your thoughts to that of positive plans and thinking.So stop wasting time waiting around and talk about it to vent, do something with friends, make plans. You dont have friends? Go make some. It literally just takes hanging out with people who can enjoy the same food or movies etc.Time to stop waiting and start living. Keep your head up and if you want someone to listen or share PM or reply and Im your guy.', 'Awesome man, Im relieved and happy to hear it. Keep in touch, Im here anytime.', 'Understandable. Fear of the unknown is probably the most natural Fear to have. Instead though we can be certain that we have what it takes and we can sculpt our future by making the right choices.Youre Tired welcome. Were here for you. If you ever want to talk through anything or need someone to listen reply or PM me. Dont Fear it! take control of it. We cant control everything, but we make our own choices and can make our futures in doing so.', 'Well youre right, if you allowed yourself to truly feel these things and connect you wouldnt be here.But you are at least showing that you know you have control. Now what I think you should do is consciously realize this when it comes up and decide consciously to let those feelings out (not hold them in) and find a way to do that. Talking to someone (me if you want) is one way, two would be put on your favorite happy song and say out loud ""im letting it go"" and feel the relief, and third might just be to get out of the house and grab food with a friend.That would be my direction for getting rid of the negative, but how do you get back to the positive? Id say that THIS is where connect truly and allow your feelings to come through. I would also say that at this point you are emotionally delicate, so I wouldnt go trying to fall in love with someone who hasnt proven themselves out yaknow? Dont set yourself up for Pain, but definitely allow yourself to feel what is real.For instance, enjoy a day out and dont do it cause you ""should"" do it because you love the beach, or you love to go downtown with friends. Make friends, find the things that you do want in life and head toward them, find some steps.I think that a big problem with Depression, is a lack of plans. I think that not knowing what you will be doing in the near future, leads to a lack of desire for the future. So find some awesome stuff to throw on the calendar like a trip to a close by city with some friends, maybe a trip to another state in a few months etc.I guess what Im saying is, if youve learned that you can ""feel everything"" and also ""feel nothing"" there is a way for you to decide what will affect you and what exactly you choose to feel in a way. So remember, dont hold in the bad stuff (let it out in a good way) and allow yourself to connect with the good.You are a good guy, you are still caring about family at a time like this and its important to have those things you care about. Im glad youre here talking with us. Keep your head up and keep in touch!', 'Im sorry. I care about you and I want to help if I can.I promise you that you have everything it takes to overcome this and achieve exactly what you wish for. The feeling is something you need to consciously recognize and replace with the determination to achieve the plans you set for yourself, like getting to med school and becoming a doctor. You know itll take years anyway. You know its going to be pretty hard. Whats it matter if you take a year off to work and save, meanwhile enjoying time with friends and traveling a little? Get your mind back on track kinda thing. The school will still be there waiting for you.Youre Exhaustion yourself and when you overdo it it can weigh on your emotions like it is right now. Take a step back, take a breath and just get everything in order again. It will help tons. Also talk to someone (me if you have to, I will listen/share). Its not about someone else being able to fix the problem for you, or someone being able to understand what you feel, cause honestly they cant truly, but its about getting it off your chest. When you hide/ignore it, it grows heavy and you isolate yourself which causes it to get worse in turn. So relieve the Stress by just talking to someone. Vent a little.People say ""it gets better"" and I truly believe it can, but I also know for a fact it wont if you dont actually do anything to change it. So its more like, ""Take the right steps, and it will get better""Anyway, I want you to know you have so much to live for ahead of you. I went through divorce at 21 and it destroyed my life, friends, future, etc. I made it through a deep Depression of a year. You can too and there is so much on the other side, with or without the guy, with or without the school. If its what you want, there is a way. Work, save, loans, networking etc. Youll figure it out and youll be able to smile again and enjoy every second.Please PM or reply me to talk/vent, I will listen*EDIT: Oh also its important to get out and spend time with friends. You say you dont have any so find some. Go hang out and grab lunch or see a movie with some people. Facebook even makes it pretty easy. They dont need to be super amazing friends, just people who you can enjoy hanging out with. It helps a lot to stop isolating yourself and consciously guard your thoughts and direct them toward your goals.', 'Please dont leave us! no amount of time is ever long enough to quit! We dont hate you here, and I can tell you that though I dont know you, I truly care and I dont want you to go. You dont have to do this alone either. I am personally willing to hear you out and respond asap if you ever need to talk just shoot me a PM!! Ive been there', 'Time to stop doing whats required of you, stop trying to meet expectations, and stop coping.Time to start living my friend.From the sounds of it your motivations have just been off, and though you can do the Tired same thing twice in a row, the results can vary vastly when motivation is taken into account.You dont want to work up energy to do what you dont wish to do. No one does, and it appears youve done enough of that. So its time to get back to you and what you love and enjoy. Find out those things that once made you happy. Music, activities, sports, etc. and involve them in your life.Also Talk to someone. Someone who can listen and be understanding, even if it takes professional help. I am here if you ever want to talk as well, you can PM me.You have much more to live for and experience and so many peoples lives left to impact. Dont give in cause of this feeling. Ive been there and Ive come to realize I learned a lot about myself and life through it and Im happy as ever to still be here.', 'Well, Ill tell you this. People say to wait, for one reason. Someone who is thinking suicide is usually just under too much Pressure at the moment to think critically and make the best choice. Also once the wait part is over the idea is to move on from that thought and plan and act on getting better and finding what makes you happy to move toward.That being said, I can almost surely tell you why, even though youve waited a year, you still are thinking of going through with this: You spent that year, planning your suicide.Now, if you spent that year doing something you enjoyed on occasion with friends and such and planning a trip to the Bahamas, I think your results would be more like, you being excited that youre about to head to the Bahamas with friends.You are dwelling on it, so it will consume your thoughts. The same way a newly dating boy will dwell on everything about the girl. Her laugh, smile, and when he passes by something that reminds him of her. I feel that Suicidal thoughts can be similar in a way. Its what you think you want, and so when anything that remotely reminds you of such it brings your mind back to that. Disappointment, alone, unhappy, whatever it may be.Anyway, like I said, you feel compelled to because you have planned to. Break off those plans and make new ones. Ones that involve the things you love and the people you enjoy. It can change everything, but nothing changes without you taking those steps to do so.Im here for you. Dont make a Injury of muscle mistake.', 'Thats perfectly okay. You dont have to take medicine to alter your moods. Its a perspective/mind thing combined with the actions you take.EDIT: what was the ego shattering experience?You will get through this. Just start living man. Ive been through it myself. Its so worth it.', 'Well I would say that it is pretty directly linked to that then, dont worry yourself too much and try to avoid the negative thoughts like suicide.I went through a divorce at 21 years old and it was the hardest year of my entire life, but I learned the most about myself and what I truly wanted to do that year.If you need to talk, about it, or just to talk you can PM me and Ill listen/share.Chin up, it will get better. Feelings just take a little time to subside, but please dont act on them.', 'Well, Im truly sorry that you feel this way, but to be honest, its not therapy, medication, or parents that can solve the issue.The only thing that can change this feeling is you. Everything else you mentioned is literally just support to help you do it. It all comes down to you changing your actions and consciously changing your thoughts. You can take pills and have people tell you what to do all day, but until you decide to make that happen, nothing changes and the feeling remains.No more dwelling on it, time to start living. Go get friends, a job, enjoy yourself, and have a life. Dont disconnect and isolate.Keep your head up, we are here cause we care about you. PM or reply and I will listen.', 'Woah man :/ Im so so sorry..I couldnt imagine. I had to go through a divorce at 21 which isnt quite comparable, but to know what your future is with somebody like its a fact, and then your whole future be ripped away like that and left for you to re write, was miserable knowing it was a choice she made.I can tell you this, the first year after that, was the hardest year of my life. Right around a year I ended up calling a suicide hotline as a last resort at 3 am and she finally comforted me by just being there to hear me cry and talk. She turned me back towards the world I disconnected myself from and I found a whole new life ahead. Find out who I was again, and what I really wanted to do.Look, I know its hard friend, but you still deserve to find happiness and I promise you thats what they wanted for you too. It may take new friends, and a change of scenery but itll be worth it.Please keep your head up and PM me or reply here if you need anyone to listen/share', 'Keep your head up. I went through divorce at 21 and it was devastating. I understand the feeling.If you want to talk Im down to listen/share just reply or PM me. Youll get through this.', 'I got to a point where I felt so Depression and alone even though my parents ( who I knew loved me ) where downstairs, that I called a suicide hotline to talk and she brought up a great point that night. I put myself in a situation late late at night and alone where all I had was time to think about how sad I was. She encouraged me to calm and sleep eventually and it got me through the night.After that I did my best to keep myself in what good company I could and sleep at decent times, keeping my mind occupied on positive things I enjoyed doing. What things do you enjoy?', 'What you should know is, high school seems to be a much bigger deal at the time than it really is. Everything does. Not that education isnt important, but it doesnt mean the end of the world. You can always fix things.Though it may seem easier to have a fresh start. A fresh start has its own problems as well. You havent ruined your life by any means. You also have everything it takes to overcome these problems and you can go anywhere in life you choose to. Thats the issue people have. Choosing to do it. You have to decide to do it and take the steps to follow through. If you do the same thing you are doing now, nothing will change.Its hard to see now, but you will get through this and if you decide to now, you can fix this and overcome it. Keep your head up and be happy through it. Reply or PM me anytime if you want to talk to someone', 'First off, youve made it through so much already, dont give up now. So many people get discouraged by the inability to see the top of a mountain through the storms and turn back so close to the summit. Please dont make this mistake.I know times seem to be impossible for you at the moment, but I know there is someone somewhere who has overcome worse to do great things and be happy. The happy side of it comes from deciding to no longer dwell on these thoughts and make the choice to be ",Behavior
user-175,"['I know the feeling of being cheated on. Ive been told to my face by my ex-boyfriend that hes never loved me at all. Never got a confession for the cheating, either, so I completely understand where you are coming from.Im really really impressed that youve been strong enough to keep it together for your family, especially for your kids. I can tell from your post that youre a genuinely kind-hearted person since the blame you put on your wife is so minimal, and no matter how Tired you get I hope that seeing your children makes it worth it.Let me know if you want to talk more, and chin up. ><', 'Can anyone call an ambulance??', 'If someone thinks youre a burden to them then its not worth continuing to seek a close relationship with them. ', 'You described exactly how I feel about relationships. On the one hand, I feel like I can really make a difference in someones life if I were to be in a relationship with them, but... That kind of thinking led me to a one-sided and toxic relationship. I think everyone is deserving of love, but I cant see anything to love in me. I dont know. Youre right, its hard to tell what is a lie and what isnt.', 'I had an ex-boyfriend who was (and might still be) ashamed of his homosexuality. He tried for years to fit into normal societal standards, and one of those attempts to fit in involved dating me for nine months. He doesnt plan on openly coming out. He was also Suicidal but he told me that he continued to live for the betterment of others. Maybe talking to someone would help. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay, and I am sure that you have positive attributes that you should focus on. In terms of fixing it, I dont think you can or should change who you are attracted to. You cant help it, but there is nothing wrong with it. Please message me if you want to talk more. Hearing this makes me really sad, and I want to be of some help, in any way.', 'Sorry to hear that, routines can suck. Have you tried taking up a hobby, like running? I started playing basketball when I got Tired of the same old, same old.Why do you think people are upset at you? :(', 'Okay, haha. It takes your eyes a bit of time to adjust to the dark and see the stars clearly! But doing that made me feel at ease with the problems in my life, kinda like how someone needs to be in a dark for a while before their eyes adjust to see the brighter things.', 'Me too. ', 'Yeah, I was at that point a few months ago. Its something you cant shake off until you finally wake up one day and decide that youre done being Tired. What have you tried?It seems to me like you should go out and meet new people who appreciate you. Just because people blame you for things doesnt mean that youre to blame for them, you know? And you should never feel like a burden or be told that you are, its the worst feeling and if someone tells you that youre a burden, theyre not someone worth being around.', 'I really like your interpretation of this movie.', 'Good for you, OP! Its a big thing and you should be proud', 'As a fellow writer, I cant wait to read your book. Let me know when it comes out! ', 'Why do you think that? I want to talk with you! Hows it going?', 'You were told that you were intelligent and kind. You also mentioned that people wished to be like you (in my opinion, this is one of the sweetest compliments ever). These are the qualities that people most admire about you, and who knows, those qualities that you dont see might be what people use to encourage themselves to improve.You dont feel good looking but girls see something in you! Appearances arent going to last forever. Girls notice that youre kind and intelligent. To me, you seem like a guy who is honest yet critical of himself, and if that is your most worrisome imperfection then you are already a great person by principle.Im glad to hear that you have some days when youll accept yourself, and its no surprise that there will be bad days. There will be horrible days, too, but there will also be great days. I know because Ive been through it too. You will learn to adapt to the changes, gradually.I used to be better at handling loneliness because I was never truly close to someone. So when I first met someone I was truly close with, I felt like I had been waiting forever to meet him. We made promises to be there for each other. To me, promises are always kept... Especially in relationships and close friendships. When he left, I learned something-- The first person who leaves you after a promise wont be the last person to leave you. People come and go, this is a fact. You just gotta keep going because eventually someone who has been through what youve been through will stay. And I think that is worth all that youve been through. It is worth believing.Im just like you. Its so hard for me to open up. But six months later, Im learning that its okay to open up. Sometimes I just cant, even if I try, but I just have to remind myself that itll be worth it. I get that youre trying, and all Im doing is trying too, because if we dont try well get nowhere. I get you.And dont worry about rambling (ahh dont apologize!). Im glad you made it through today, I feel grateful to have met you and talked to you, actually. We can talk more if youd like c:', 'I agree 100%. Dont make decisions when emotions are flooding your thoughts.', 'This sounds almost exactly like me, except for the freezing up (I project too much confidence and come off as someone with an ego). I just want to let you know that youre not going through this alone, and that if you need someone to talk to Id be glad to have girl talks with you. : )It helped me a lot to think about my self as someone that I should stay alive for. Its easy to forget about yourself when youre always thinking of the needs of others, so just remember that you are someone worth caring about.Ive also never thought about killing myself intentionally, like, the thought of having someone have to clean up my mess keeps me from entertaining the thought of suicide. ', 'Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I cannot promise that it will get better, but I am in the same place as you, and there is something about not going through this alone that makes me want to keep trying. I hope it gets better for you.', 'You know what you should do if life gets repetitive? Take a walk, or maybe a deep breath if youre living in the middle of the ocean. It will help.When I had troubles, I used to go out at night to stare at the stars (living in a highly populated area, I was considered lucky if I even saw one). It gave me a break from the repetitiveness in my life. When I was done with one place, Id move onto the next. Being able to go out gave me something to look forward to. You could also try to talk to someone. Im proud of you for being 4 months clean. :D', 'Dear Angus,You sound like a wonderful person. I read your replies to the other comments that were made on this page, and from what I can tell you seem to be a good person. Genuinely good people are hard to find these days (you know, people who try their best to make others happy without asking for anything in return). So I have a reason to stay alive for you: Stay alive because you are one of the few good things left in this world. You know that word ""hope""? Yeah, people like you are the reason why we have it. The world would be a lot dimmer without you. It can be tough at times. Whenever you feel Tired or upset, think about the impact you have on other people. The stranger on the street that you smiled at, the woman whom you held the door for, etc. Im sure you make a lot of people happy. One upset person doesnt mean everyone is upset.Good luck,Tater', 'Ive been joking more and more often about suicide lately. It makes the thought of suicide easier to cope with, as in, it makes it seem like less of a monster and more... Easily dealt with. Its like a coping mechanism.', 'Is there anyone you can talk to? Do you want to talk about it with me? ', 'I do believe that you were so amazingly lucky to have met someone like her, and because of you I am willing to stick around in the hope of meeting someone just as great. Ive always wanted to beat my Depression by myself, but having someone like that is just so, wow. Im really happy for you, thank you for sharing your story. :)', 'What it means to be a human being varies from one person to another, and what I feel is that you and I end up disappointed at people when they tell us were ""wonderful for being there when no one else was"" because weve set our standards higher. We believe that people SHOULD help each other out and that it is not only the right choice, but the only way people are supposed to treat one another.People can suck, its just a more productive use of your time to focus on yourself. By being there for others and being empathetic, youre setting an example for others to follow.', 'Well your opinion matters to me and its worth something. Whats been going on? ', 'Youve been there for her for 15 years. She couldve been alone those 15 years without you, and without you what if her condition had gradually worsened? You cannot know for sure that you being there was in vain. Perhaps it improved what couldve been worse if you had not been there. The best thing to do in this situation is to continue being with her until the Tired end, even if the end may come sooner than you thought it would. Living in the moment and being for her is what matters the most right now, and if you think about it like that youll find more value in everything that happens.', 'I think just being there for him will help, and so will reminding him that you do love him and that youre here for him if he ever wants to talk. ', 'When I read this, I had to go back and check to make sure I didnt write it... : (I get you, I really do. This is the kind of rationale that helps me whenever Im down on myself-- Look at it this way: Youve been in your body all your life. You wake up and the first person you see in the mirror is... Yep, you guessed it, you. You look into that mirror and you know everything there is to know about you, including your flaws, your strengths, your innermost thoughts, etc. No one else knows this much about you, and no one can ever know this much.When you see other people, you only fixate on the qualities that they present to you in the short amount of time that you spend with them. If youre a kind person, you tend to notice the positive qualities of other people before anything else. You wont spend as much time with them as you do with yourself (ever spend 24/7 with someone and get annoyed?), so you wont be picking out their flaws. Its easy to kick yourself for shortcomings and imperfections because you literally live in your body 24/7. Its totally normal to get annoyed when you spend so much time with yourself, because youll overthink yourself into a pit.Its good to want to change your flaws, but remember that everyone has flaws that they want to change. You are not singular in your thoughts. Find someone patient who listens to you, you should never feel like youre annoying someone by being you. Humans are confusing, which is kind of frustrating when you remember that youre human... Just take it one emotion at a time and draw it out slowly until youre done sorting through everything (having someone who cares definitely helps, in my experience).', 'I understand what youre going through. Ive been there. Ive skipped classes to sleep when I wasnt Tired at all, and Id feel Tired afterwards and do nothing for hours at a time. It was a cycle that kept repeating itself until I was kind of done with it.I just woke up one day and got bored of being Tired. All my friends are getting ready to apply to medical school and Im still wondering if I should even be making plans for the future if Im going to kill myself. Indecision kind of gets boring after a while, too, like... I know that in the end you either jump off the diving board or you stay there worrying about it... And Id rather just jump, you know? Bad shit feels, well, bad. Just think of it as another obstacle in the way of the good shit that awaits you. Ive been living on the hope of something good happening, but I also know that if I want good shit to happen, it has to happen by my work and no one elses. If you stay and try and push yourself, the possibility of good shit happening increases exponentially, so I dont think you should quit the race just yet.', 'Im here if you want to talk. I hope youre okay. ', 'Knowing that someone is lying to me makes me the most sad. ', 'Im glad youre still here! Have fun at the concert!']",Indicator
user-176,"['I suppose the thing that sets me off is I feel the only person who loves me is my best friend. And I love her, dont get me wrong, but I want someone who loves me not in a best friend way but in a romantic way and after what happened with my SO, I just dont feel I can make that happen.', 'Im doing pretty good actually. Havent had too many bad thoughts', 'Who knows? But I will look that up now that I know it might be a possibility. Thank you!', 'Were both the same age (Eight days apart). Also, I will now refer to his father as a grumpy weenie. Thank you for that lolI dont self-harm anymore. I used to years ago but it made my family upset so I stopped. Most the time I only cry when I feel like hurting myself. Its safer and releases the want of self-harm. It probably does just feel like that. Also Im talking to him right now about it but I think hes just upset cause half the time he thinks Im just doing this so hell leave his friends. Every single time I reassure him Im glad he has his friends and that he needs guy time and I know that. It always helps. I think hes Worried because his friends and I dont get along Tired well but I would never tell him to not hang out with his friends. ', 'And thats where the gagging would happen because I would have nothing left in my stomach to throw back up.', 'I dont know where it is but I have always dreams of going to a forest with tall trees and the sunlight Falls through nearly green because of all the leaves. I would go there but I dont know where it is because its only been in my dreams.', 'I know where youre coming from. I have this same kind of problem. I still havent figured this out. But Ill take you seriously. Im willing to listen', 'Yeah, I was trying to explain to my fiancee that the lack of love from a parent isnt an emotion that can be expressed in words. And it really isnt. Its too raw of a Pain.And I would if he werent Sharp Pain to temper. I am hesitant to bring anything up around him because of his temper, which is seemingly uncontrollable. He also doesnt listen to reason and will just keep saying things over and over again, talking louder than the other person to try and get his point across. Most the time it is like talking to a brick wall. My sister tried that with him once and he had the same reaction, so it isnt easy and sometimes I dont even feel it is worth it because of the backlash from him. ', 'Just because hes older does not make him a genius. And you shouldnt feel guilty. He doesnt know what he is talking about. Im sorry, honestly I am, but hes an idiot. Im sorry that you may not agree with me but damn it just cause hes older doesnt make him smarter and Im tried of older people saying this all the damn time. Cause I once had an Asthma attack and my parents told me I was over reacting and I was fine. It was bullshit. I wasnt fine and was diagnosed with Asthma and chronic Bronchitis the next day. My parents had no fucking idea. So dont feel guilty, please. ', 'Yeah, it really isnt true. And my little sister is my fathers favorite while my older sister is my moms. And I get that. Everyone has favorites and parents are humans too. I just wish some would learn how to hide it better because it doesnt make it any easier to deal with it when you have to witness it every day. Im glad you got good grades and did well in sports but Im sorry it didnt make the difference you wanted. Its tough but do know you did good, even if they dont think so.', 'Yeah, I wish I could afford a professional but I would see one if I could. Ill save up and if it persists I will see one', 'No...he doesnt feel that same way. I know he doesnt. But he doesnt feel that I should find him flawless either. ', 'Not at the community college, which is all I would be able to afford with the help. Not only that Im not completely sure what I want to be so I only want to take basics until I figure it out. And I havent directly asked them. Theyve directly told me they wouldnt. As soon as I graduated high school they told me that if I was going to college I would have to find a way there and back or move into one of the dorms.And my sister went to UTSA (Which is an 1 1/2 hours away) but ran out of money and is currently saving up. She lived with friends so she could split them rent money on the apartments (The college had no dorms)', 'Usually I talk to my boyfriend about these things. I dont have many friends and the ones I do have freak out over this kind of thing. Not in a bad way but they worry way too much and constantly ask if Im feeling okay and all that and it becomes way too much. But see...my boyfriends friends are in town for the winter from college and hes been spending every minute with them and I dont want to ruin the fun hes having since he will only see them for about a month.', 'Yeah, it does come in waves. Ive dealt with Depression since I was in fifth grade and this is just a new kind of way its hitting me.And I havent. It is Tired important and when I get paid tomorrow I will take some money out and buy myself one.', 'I cant remember the last thing that made me happy that didnt involve people. I honestly cant remember it. But the thing that boosted my confidence a little bit one day was music but now that isnt working. I just...I dont know. I rely on people heavily but I have so little of them that are close to me in my life.', 'Honestly, at this point in time, how she has been acting I dont know what she is to me. ', 'I would puke if I ever came upon that. Not that I have anything against homosexuality but mostly one is a 45 year old man with a beer belly and hair everywhere but the top of his head, and the other thinks hes cool but is skinny with a lot of baby fat, wears a leather jacket, holes in his jeans, and shaved his head to be shorter than the military would require it.Lol I probably did dodge a bullet. Watching how hes grown these four years, from what my boyfriend tells me, hes an unoriginal lazy ""magician"" (I put that in quotes because he sucks so bad at it. I have figured out almost all of his tricks.)', 'Yeah, I have confronted both of them about their favoritism and they both deny it but it is obvious to everyone. One day, though, my mom did admit to it, finally, and I actually felt better after it because she finally accepted that we all knew. And no, I havent been able to afford therapy/counselling for it. And as of late it has been a bit better than it normally is (its been about six months since my last episode, which is longer than usual for me) so I am really hoping there will be no relapse into it but since I have been dealing with Depression for as long as I can remember (seriously, in my journals from even fifth grade it has poems about it), I doubt it will ever fully be gone without help from medication. ', 'He said he was going to get me skyrim. (I told him not to after he told me what he was going to get me [which he told me on New Years btw] because my computer wouldnt be able to handle the game.)Im lady (Not opposed to homosexuality).Well see, I usually attribute my slight over-reaction to feeling sad all the time but its not the first time hes failed to get me a gift. Not even the second time either.I do always take long hot baths. But Im changing my sleeping schedule because Ive been sleeping in too late. I do know Im probably putting a lot of it out of proportion but hes been doing this for about a month now. He told me on New Years he would see me the day after. Didnt happen and he told me hed see me the next day. Didnt happen again. I didnt even ask him the next day and he pretty much barely talked to me the whole day. then today he says hes going outside for a while. I ask him where to and he says hes going to his friends house. It just really upsets me he flakes on me but has time for his friends (Who mind you hate me. Him and I dont know why but they hate me)', 'And Depression doesnt always mean suicide has to be involved.', 'You are not pathetic. Do not hate yourself.You are not weak.You can turn to us for help. Please, tell us whats going on to make you sad? Were here to help you and listen to you.', 'She seems to think im saying it in the sense it was all her fault and it want and isnt. It was a combination of a problem in my brain and a problem at home. But she seems to take it add am attack against her', 'I would love to see someone. I dont have the funds nor insurance to do so though.I dont know what it could be. I dont handle Stress well though. I think a large part of it is the fact my Ex is a coworker and this job is the first Ive had in months.', 'Just everything. my boyfriend didnt get me a christmas present (And long story short, he said he couldnt find the one he wanted to get me, finally told me what it was, I found it in five minutes), he said he would see me some time this Asthenia but chose to hang out with all his friends instead. Were supposed to go on a train ride saturday but its starting to look like we wont. I cant stop thinking about just killing myself. I dont want to kill myself but the thoughts just keep coming back. ', 'I dont usually look much into it. Its more of a habit for me now to not wear makeup and to promote not wearing it, rather than I do it purposely. I was just thinking about it the other night and had to get it off my chest. ', 'Yeah, it seem admittance can do a lot for closure and seems to make the situation better sometimes. But getting ""out"" of an episode or keeping them away has absolutely nothing to do with strength. Its a support system that I need to keep them away. If I dont have someone who I can talk to, then I *will* have a relapse, there is absolutely no question about it. I havent had one because of my fiancee. I can calm myself down just by talking to him about everything. He is my support system. If you are Worried about not having one, you can always message me and I will gladly be your support system because even if I am not feeling so awesome, I will listen to you and help you as best I can. ', 'Well I would go to college if my parents even offered to drive me there and back everyday. Otherwise I would have no way there. There are no buses that run in my town because of a dispute with the city and the rail and bus company. And I would walk but the community college is about 15 miles away. But I dont even have the money for college and my parents wont help me with Fafsa so that I can get money. They get frustrated with me when I cant get the information on my own but it requires their tax papers which I dont have and they wont keep track of right. Im just so Tired of not being good enough.', 'Yes, she did. Kept saying ""oh! What thing didnt we get you?"" Acting as if it were a material possession issue that caused it. She was Tired snide about it too', 'I agree completely. Really i do. But other people have pointed out the Emotional upset manipulation she uses on me. I Fear it will get worse when i move (The move quill be over five thousand miles away because he lives in another country)', 'Yeah, i Have my own income. And I plan on continuing with the bank (they are nice) but cutting off her access to my account considering shes started taking my money.', 'I appreciate your perspective on this and i ask trying to keep ask these things in account. I just honestly dont know how much more blame i can take. I understand they are upset and angry and dont mean what they are saying, i do. But im also being treated as if i have no reason to be upset either', 'I live in the suburbs that border the country. Like I walk out of my neighborhood and can see country land on one side and a small city(borderline town) on the other. I have no transport and my town has little to no poverty and barely any volunteer work (Ive tried for two years) that I could reach. ', 'My boyfriend says that to me a lot too. It helps to hear it from someone you love but, in my personal opinion, when strangers say it, it seems to help even more. Thank you for your comforting words', 'I am in the states but how would I find a mental health clinic?', 'So far thats the only advice i have been getting. Not to say it is bad advice because it isnt. Problem is i have an urge (that i want gone) to please my parents', 'But its not just him. Ive been Depression for seven+ years. I just feel like I cant do anything right. my life feels like such a mess.', 'Well it wasnt my first heartbreak, it was my second one but it was the more important one to me. And I had promised my best friend I wouldnt kill myself but...well we arent best friends anymore. Mostly though I dont know why Im still suicidal. Im actually pretty happy with how things have been going lately but everyday, randomly Ill think of killing myself and I dont understand. Its not even an attention thing. Ive only told my boyfriend (And SW) about this problem. I just dont want to think about my death everyday when I dont feel like I should. ', 'Same here! And my bedroom has huge windows so it seriously sucks.', 'Well I am happy to hear that. I know for the most part women put on makeup to fit in with other women. ', 'Yeah and Id love to get out i just Fear when i do she not only will turn her side of the family against me but my older sister as well. Only person on my side in my family at the moment is my older and younger sister. But really i would love to get her to just stop Crying about what i told her. I know the news is stressful but...i feel she either doesnt believe me our is being entirely selfish about the news', 'So far from it. Were middle class people who live in the suburbs', 'Not from what Ive been learning about them. From what I know (And dont quote me on this) but I am pretty sure in texas one is not needed for the other.', 'Currently him and I are working on our situation. We honestly are. And he keeps telling me not to pretend to be happy, because it wont help anyone. So Im not doing that too him anymore. And Im trying to be Tired rational and look away from my romantic feelings for him and see the faults others see in him. I know saying I see no flaws in someone isnt rational. But I cant see them in him though I know I should be able to. Maybe if I look deep enough I can find them.', 'Yeah. Weve been dating for four years and he knows a lot about them. He doesnt know quite how to deal with them. Hes never been real sure how to reassure me on it because of previous issues Ive had before I started dating him. So sometimes he just lets me talk until Ive gotten Tired of talking and he just hugs me, and sometimes he reassures me but he tries and does a pretty good job.', 'I wish I could afford therapy, because I would go if I could. And my family...they suck. Terribly. I can talk to them about nothing. My little sister couldnt care less (shes a teen right now and anything that doesnt involve her or her interests, she doesnt care about), my father is too religious and everything leads to religion and Im not his same religion nor does he seem to understand that when I have a problem god cannot solve it for me, my older sister freaks out about everything and takes it way too far, and my mother just thinks the world is against her and if I complain she just gets angry and it doesnt help.', 'But I want him to be. I love everything about him. Literally everything. I cant find wrong in him. And it hurts...god it hurts.But not only that. I just...I have zero confidence. I never have. My parents rooted it out of me. So any time I think I have redeeming qualities to get someone to love me, their voice comes to my mind and I cant find my confidence that I want so badly.', 'Lol look for one with a slanted bathtub so you can get a bath pillow and really relax (My bath tub is not slanted and makes me sad)Its okay. I understand the assumption. If I didnt know him as well as I do, I would assume he was a cheater as well. But many people will tell you that he wouldnt ever do something like that. well see...I do let him know and as of late he just gets a bit of upset with me and tells me to Chill out. I will admit, Im a smidge clingy but I have no problem with him seeing his friends. Its just the breaking of our plans that really gets to me. He does it so often that it just kills me. Most of the time our plans are broken because his family wants to go do something and he doesnt know how to say no to his father (His mom will tell him its alright but his father Im pretty sure would rather he be dating an idiot supermodel....his dad is kind of a huge dick who lives vicariously through my boyfriend.)But I do plan on talking to him about our whole relationship. Its something we need to discuss because a lot of people are right. I shouldnt feel like this while in a relationship. At least not this much toward my SO.', 'I thought I was. And Ive tried. But I just cant. Its not so easy for me. You say it as if it is but its not. Letting go seems to Pain me more than staying does.', 'Well it isnt as easy as that. I wish I could let it go. I wish I could stop trying to please him and make him proud but something inside of me desperately wants it and has my whole life and I dont really think about it when I try to make him proud or happy. It is an automatic reaction that I have been trying so desperately hard to get rid of. ', 'Aw, Im sorry. That sucks. Ive been there though and it is a stupid idea in the long run.', 'Lol I wish. No the father and friend hate each other. i think they hate the world. Okay, as for the dating him thing, it would have worked if he wasnt so...damn I cant think of the word....against PDA. I mean, hes not now, but he wasnt even going to get any form me if he wasnt willing to hug me in public. I do not roll that way. No shame in PDA. Especially when its just hugging or holding hands.', 'Unfortunately I dont have money for the insurance to have a doctor. Im lower middle-class and all spare money is set aside for the next month so bills are paid on time. I wish I could see a doctor and talk about it but I wouldnt have the money to pay for the meds or the doctor visits.I have been trying to save money to talk to someone. I cant promise I will be able to talk to a professional, I can take comfort in the fact that I have an old friend who has always been a shoulder I can cry on, no matter how far apart we come to be. ', 'Well currently I cant do that. Im living with my parents and have no income. They smoke, which brings me even farther from nature. I try to go on walks and immerse myself in nature but I find it difficult due to my severe allergies. ', 'I love nature. But the nature here I am allergic to to (Im allergic to Cedar Trees and thats all that grows where I live) and I tried having a plant but I was upset and it died.', 'No, I couldnt stand to go into one of those. I really just honestly couldnt. I dont even know what I want to be when I get older. I have absolutely no goals.', 'Thats actually a pretty good idea. I think I may keep away from it for a little while', 'Its not that I didnt want the game. I most certainly did. I just dont have the computer power to actually run something of that load. My computer sucks. Lol I wish I had a radio that worked so I could listen to music while soaking in a bath. but Ive got bubble bath, salts, nice smells and candles, so Im pretty damn relaxed.I know. People keep saying that. We hit a bump a couple of months ago and both him and I are having slight difficulties. Weve been together for four years and both want to stay together (From what weve told each other but I think we should have a talk about it again.)Yes, Im 100% about his friends. I know a lot of people would think Im falling for something but hes never been that kind of person with anyone. Hes never been a cheater and has broken up with me once while he sorted his feelings for a while. He said hed rather break up with me than cheat on me. Not just that but he knows of my past relationships and is a caring enough guy to never let that happen. hes Tired open to me about his feelings. hes let me know before when he felt he had a crush on someone. Ive let him know when I felt the same. We never act on it but we both realize that in a relationship. other people will still be attractive to you and it doesnt mean you love the other person any less but that you find someone else attractive along with finding your SO attractive.', 'I dont know how to drive. My dad forced me to drive his large explorer at night when I was 12. I could barely see over the steering wheel and since then I have been deathly afraid of driving a car. Ive only driven once since then and it was for a short period of time with my boyfriend in an empty parking lot. I had a panic attack.', 'Thank you. And i certainly will try. I appreciate the wisdom', 'Yeah, its only his two best friends. I actually used to be best friends with one of them. Then, when I didnt date him but dated my boyfriend instead, he suddenly hated me. After four years youd think he would get over it, but no. His other best friend is a dick like his dad.', 'No, I havent. Ive been thinking of trying to move past the panis. my boyfriend amazingly enough got me to drive the car for a good ten minutes before I freaked out. But I was tinking about getting a motorcycle. Strangely enough the thought of driving one of those doesnt scare me. I dont know why it doesnt and I know they are more dangerous but it just doesnt scare me. ', 'Yeah, this was much like how it was when i that age too', 'Yep, she didnt want to hear it. Just cried and ran to her room', 'Sadly no, Ive tried to ignore them. I tried last month (All last month) and they just got worse.', 'This is true. I hadnt gotten it yet mostly cause my mom watches my account like a hawk and I havent gone to the bank to take her off of it. Shes also taking money from me, so I need to stop it soon.', 'I will try both of these things. Thank you :-) ', 'You would think but every time i bring it up, world war the starts in my house. They are against it when i bring it up but behind closed dots it seems they are for it', 'Well, there are many reasons but I cant apply them to your life because they may not be anything you can see a reason to live for. I could tell you to live for the joy of music but if you get no joy from music, then that would be meaningless. What are some things you find even an ounce of joy in? If it is say painting, then continue to live to paint. Show your emotions and difficulties through the art you depict.Has he expressed or told to you that you are burden? A lot of the worst parts of Depression are when you feel that you are only weighing others down when the reality is, they want to help you up and will keep on going to help you. If he has said nothing and shown nothing, then he probably feels only concern and the want to help you.And its okay, rambling can help sort out thoughts and emotions. Ramble if you need, I certainly dont mind. I want to help in any way I can. ', 'Yeah, its bad in my eyes as well. I wouldnt even mind if he was like ""Hey, since I dont get to see my friends Tired often and theyre in town wanting to hang out, can I do that instead today?"" And I would say of course. I would completely understand. Its the ""not doing that"" that gets to me.Yeah, I know. I have been trying and he just mumbles ""I say no to my dad."" In the four years him and I have been together Ive seen him say no to his dad three times. One of the times was as recent as Christmas.', 'Good god I am so sorry. That just...honestly I seriously hope that didnt break your trust in all people. I really hope it didnt. Cause there are good people on here who want to help. Those three are just fucking dickwads and I dont give a shit what their problem, was, is, or will be cause if they ever need help from me they can forget it.Please, if youre considering anything drastic, please I beg of you talk to me. I dont have agoraphobia but I do have many phobias. (The main ones being afraid of being alone in a room, afraid of the dark, afraid of blood, and claustrophobia) Ive had my share of panic attacks and they are not fun at all. So Im willing to listen to you. I can even offer advice if youd like but if you just want and ear to hear your problems, Im willing to be that ear. Just please....dont Pain yourself or anything like that because of them and what they said.', 'I do try these thing and it takes my mind off for a while but what triggers it is mostly my own thoughts. I start thinking about my boyfriend and with how fast and strange my mind moves, it goes to the fight we had six months ago in no time. I try to stop it and think of other things, good things about him but then it goes to fights Ive had with other people and things I might have done wrong.', 'I agree with you. They are only more experienced versions of themselves. Ill put an extreme situation out there but Im pretty sure a 25 year old who is diagnosed with HIV has a different situation than his father who doesnt have HIV. And if his father tried to say everyone went through it, his father would deserve a fist to the face. So, while thats an extreme situation, it automatically shows the difference. ', 'Do you think you can promise yourself something for your friends and family? Do you think you can promise yourself that if an accident is to come at any moment, you will do everything in your power to stop yourself from dying?', 'Im sorry your mother didnt offer the comfort and care she should have. It is always Tired upsetting when the people you should be able to rely on decide to not be there for you. Sometimes its difficult to find a reason for living. There never is a set in stone reason for life. Unfortunately it is something you have to decide. But there are many things that you can do in life and it doesnt mean you have to live life searching for something to live for. But I understand why you feel this way. Why do you think you bring your friends Pain from meeting them?', 'Okay, this is the only reply I will give you. You do not know my whole situation, you do not know me, and you are Tired Tired immorally wrong to go onto a subreddit full of people seeking help and be an ass like this. You really ought to hope that when you seek help in a situation like this, someone will help you instead of replying the way you did. ', 'I know he is. Ive known that ever since I got with him. But how can I find someone who would find me perfect when I cant let go of the one person who I have found perfect but doesnt feel the same?']",Behavior
user-177,"['Not exactly recently. It is rather the conclusion of a life full of depression, loneliness & being hurt. ', 'Idk Im Depression and i failed miserably and I just cant stay here longer. I am going to die sooner or later but I used to be religious when I was a kid and now since Im a teenager I kinda just lost my faith but now that Im close to death Im scared of rotting in hell. Rotting because suicide is seen as the worst sin in every religion out there.', 'Thank you for listening! Goodbye and stay awesome! :)', 'I failed school. I have my final exams this Asthenia and I know I am going to fail.My life at home is pretty terrible too but my father always threatened me that if I fail school that he is going to force me to work for my brother. There is obviously way more then that but that is the gist of it and I just cant take it anymore.Nobody would miss me anyways so my death wouldnt be noticed.']",Ideation
user-178,"['Im going through somewhat similar shit. Im not so good at socializing and Ive been friendless for a long time. Youre not alone! See if you can find a kindred spirit, someone who understands what youre going through. Preferably someone at the same uni. If youre anything like me you might have an easier time talking to people online so maybe you could use Facebook or something to get closer to your peers.', 'Youre not even in the negative!', 'Its like looking in a mirror. Im JUST like you. My suggestion is that you find a way to get a classmates Facebook or aim or something. If youre anything like me, youd be a lot more comfortable talking in that kind of environment. Texting is good too. Make sure to tell them that you have trouble talking. If they are worth being friends with, they will help you! Then youd have someone to help with your social anxiety. Just try really hard to talk to someone long enough to exchange emails/numbers/whatever. Also, if youre like me again, you probably dont ""Look"" particularly shy. In fact you might look kind of anti-social/intimidating. So Id suggest that you smile like crazy. Always consciously try to smile! And dont be afraid to look like you dont know what you are doing. If you need someone to practice talking with Im here!', 'Yeah happened to me too. You cant change who you are. At least its damn Exhaustion to. I moved around a lot as a kid and every time id end up as the lister and then the loner. Once the friend-making period is over and everything sets in to equilibrium its REALLY hard, especially when everyone else around you is chatting away with their new friends looking happy. But I dont think theres anything wrong with being who you are in the first place. Youre just...rare! There arent as many people with this kind of personality. Youll find a match. Facebook helped me a lot because Im kind of inhibited in real life, like I cant think of things to say in time. If youve talked to a classmate for a bit, they wouldnt find it odd at all if you asked for their Facebook. Then you can chat away and eventually you could tell them what youve told us; You can do that online too its fine! This is all from my own experience and I admit Im making a lot of assumptions that my problems are the same as yours. I mean it sounds like youve got some social life. But whatever may help!', 'Hey man, Im 20, and apparently a lot of people around this age are pretty unsure/unhappy/insecure. I guess its this whole transition of responsibilities, expectations, and crap. Anyway, no real advice (Im going through a lot of the same stuff). I just think itll get better.', 'Sounds like youre a pretty sporty guy. Youre like ahead of a bunch of people there. Youre good looking and shy. Chicks dig that that shit. And dont worry about the future and college and what youll do with your life too much. Just live each day as it comes step by step. Youre at one of those transitional stages and its stressful for everyone. A lot of people are sad at this age and I swear to you that once u get past this transitional stage and when everything and everyone stops reminding you to think about your future and stuff itll be great. ', 'Maybe you could just tell your friend what you have told us. Please try to see her. You probably share a lot of the same problems (Im guessing kindred spirits), so just letting her know that you know what its like could help maybe. Its all I can really do too, but I can really relate to your situation and I feel your pain.', 'I can relate a lot. I feel your pain. My advice? Well, Im sure youre a gamer. If not, get a game like tf2 and use your microphone. Youll get to practice being comfortable talking to people. At first you can just say task-oriented things like ""Soldier on the battlements!"" etc etc. But after a while you can socialize and get some buddies in the game. I swear you almost cant avoid it if you frequent a few particular servers.', 'I know exactly what youre going through and I dont really have any advice. Actually if you come across any I could use it too. I pretty much rely on online friends at the moment. Its sad and pathetic but at least they are real friends in the sense that we care about each others lives. I know you cant choose where your online friends live and it might be a bit exploitive, but maybe you could try giving priority to those close by so you guys could hang out. Not that I am one to advise; Nearly all the people Ive bonded with online just happened to live in Europe. Maybe youve got better luck. Thats why I thought this get-peers-Facebook strategyd help. Anyway, the point is, youre not alone. Youll find someone wholl really understand all this and who you could hang out with. Itll be great.', 'I can relate to a lot of what youve said, and Ive sort of self diagnosed myself with avoidant personality disorder. Maybe you have that too. I guess my only suggestion is maybe try using the internet to make real life friends. Its a lot easier for me to talk to people in that environment, and it makes it a lot easier talking irl if its with someone who is already your friend. I dont know if you have the same problem. People *will* want to be with you. Youve got this whole shy/quiet thing going on. People like that! Just remember that youre not alone, and I really feel your pain. Wish I could do more to help, but Im looking for answers myself.', 'I can relate a lot. I push people away before they have a chance to reject me, and I know that they will because Im bad at talking, I live with my parents still, dont have a job, etc etc. This defense mechanism prevents me from making friends and girlfriends, which just makes me more ashamed, which in-turn, prevents me from going out. I got stuck in this vicious cycle which is damn hard to get out of. Maybe youre in it too.There is this stigma in USA that living with your parents is bad. I hate it, and I think it makes a lot of people Tired unhappy. I grew up in Europe and its no big deal. Its in-fact Tired common for families just to build another house right on top of their parents houses over there. My advice, other than what everyone has already said, is to talk to your parents. Be able to chat and have a normal time in the house at least. I also live with people I stopped talking to and I think that this sort of forces me to be morbid all the time, like I have to wear a mask. Im finding this Tired hard to break though because its just been the way it has been for so long. I think subconsciously Im thinking I have to be sad and depressed. I shouldnt be happy about my situation. I dont know if this is the same case for you. ', 'Hey man. Im VERY similar. 20. No Friends. Live with parents. Never go outside. Dont have a Job. Dropped out of School (Got GED.) Moved and never made new Friends.If you want an online buddy, send me a message. We could play some coop games online or something (play tf2?). Its social, right! I also posted on here a year ago. [Take a look](http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/9arjj/why_cant_i_talk_to_people) and youll see the similarities for yourself. (Shh I also used a throwaway.) Ive been to like four different psychologists and have gotten all this different meds and I didnt improve. Wikipedia showed me this thing called [Avoidant Personality Disorder](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder). I think thats you and me, man. Theres also this thing called [Hikikomori](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikikomori) which you may or may not also relate to. No real advice other than using the internet. Ive made some friends online. It took me a year before I could tell them the truth about me; Another before I could talk to them on skype. Then, I even met one face-to-face for a week. It was awkward as hell, but it felt so good to be able to go someplace and not feel completely ashamed, insecure, and hurt. I remember thinking, so THIS is what is it like, to be normal, to have friends and to be able to go out and simply HAVE FUN. Im not trying to depress you further. Im just saying that its out there! Its not some wild unattainable fantasy! Its within your grasp! Take it, its Yours! Man, Im getting inspired myself!', 'I have exact same problem. The worst part is that people like us cant even hang out with others like us without it being painfully awkward. Ive just been trying to get ahead in everything else. So I suck at talking. Ill just get really fit. Study. Get good at something. Get the rest of my life together because these are things I can control. So I have a flaw I cant seem to fix easily. I can make up for it. Skype helps me a lot, and using my mic in games. That quells my loneliness. ', 'Im turning 21 soon and also am bad at socializing, live with my mom, but can handle the academics no problem. But youre 1-up from me because you have a job where you socialize, youve lived with a roommate, done weed, etc, and it sounds like youve got some friends. So, given my lower rank, my advice may not be good, but maybe you could use facebook to chat people you know up. I know that Im way more suave when Im typing. Or you could post an ad on craiglist or something. People do that all the time. I think its easier to get close to a girl because with guys I always feel kind of intimidated and I cant/dont open up to them, I mean, I dont wanna seem like a Asthenia loser to them, and youve gotta be able to tell people about your problems for them be to be a real friend. Damn gender roles screwed me up or something. Have you heard about avoidant personality disorder? That could be you. I know its me. If so, I dont think medication can help, you just gotta face it like how those people with arachnophobia get throw in a tub of spiders. We just gotta throw ourselves at awkward social situations.  So yeah, I say use the internets. The internet doesnt have to be about isolation and staying indoors. It can be a tool and a bridge to real-life things. ']",Ideation
user-179,"['I can be Tired socially inept. I feel like theres something fundamentally broken about me and that, even if I do improve, Ill never really be able to interact like a fully normal, healthy human being.', 'This is painfully similar to my own story. I posted here a while ago, if you want to read it. Do you want to talk?Also, where (as in what country) do you go to school? I know that, in the US at least, almost every single college and university has a counseling center that you can go to for free or a low cost. Is that an option for you?', 'Sleep will probably help. I know that when everything is getting to me, sleep helps me clear my mind. I feel more calm the next day.Heres something that might help you feel like theres a reason for you to still be here. Try to do one productive thing, or even just one thing to make you happy, every day. It can be something big like applying to a job or to a new school for next year, or something small like cleaning/organizing your things or just taking a walk.Cliche, I know, but I always feel a million times better when I know Ive gotten something done.Feel free to send me a PM any time you want. I cant promise that Ill reply immediately or anything, but Im on Reddit for at least a few minutes almost every day, so I will answer.Please, try to remember that youre not alone. :)', 'Im here to talk if you want. <3Ive been through a lot of the same things that you have - parents telling me Im being selfish and making problems for everyone when Im upset by their hurtful comments, a mother who goes back and forth between missing me and blowing up at me for the smallest things, etc. I hate to hear that someone else is living with that.If you have a friend whos offering you a place to stay, take it. Im sure your friends, if theyre real friends, care about you and dont want to see you without a home. You can help out around the house, to thank them for giving you a place to stay and so you dont feel so bad about it.Send me a message any time you want to chat.', 'You know, with all thats wrong with the world, sometimes theres nothing wrong with being a little naive.Im really happy that I could make you smile. :) I was having a pretty terrible day. I feel better now.', 'Im sorry that happened to you. :( It really sucks that theyd do that. I really dont think thats a good reason to stop being friends with someone you supposedly care about.Wanna be friends?', 'I think we might have the same mind or something. This is all strangely familiar.Do you have something that always helps lift you out of a Depression mood? Do that (as long as its healthy.) :)', 'I do this too. I imagine it. Often. But I have zero intention of ever going through with it. Its just calming to imagine it. As much as I hate myself, I dont want to die.', 'My inbox is always open!', 'Do you know if your school has a counseling center? Ive been having similar problems this semester, and the counseling center is helping me a lot. Im talking to someone there who is great with both helping me with my problems in their own right and in explaining my situation to and helping me work things out with my professors.', 'Im not going to be online for a few hours at least, but if you feel like you can wait, feel free to send me a message or just write something out here. Im not in such a great place myself, but Id really like to help other people who are struggling.', 'I may be depressed, but Im still capable of speaking up for myself. If this is the kind of attitude you have towards your fellow human beings, save yourself the time and everyone else the trouble of dealing with you and please dont visit r/suicidewatch.', 'Nobody who is a decent psychologist and human being will ever tell you that youre ""not bad enough"" to get help. You definitely deserve it.Did you know that there are lots of different kinds of therapy? Certain kinds are thought to help more with specific kinds of problems. It may also be the case that the counselors you saw just werent a good fit for you. That happens; please dont give up on seeking help because of it.You are not being a bitch, I promise you. First of all, your problems are definitely worth help. Theres no reason to be ashamed of seeking help, and anyone who will tell you otherwise really needs to reexamine how much sympathy they have for their fellow human beings. Second of all, Pain is relative. Just because other people have had ""worse"" things happen to them does not mean your feelings are invalid.I know what it feels like to doubt that your problems are significant, or to talk yourself out of doing anything about them. I also know that looking for help or doing something to help myself almost always makes me feel a lot better.You mentioned selling your gun. That might be a good idea. It sounds to me like having that gun readily accessible is dangerous for you. Not having it around might keep you from making an impulsive decision to Pain yourself. Not to mention the fact that if youre Worried about being able to pay for a psychologist, having the extra money cant Pain.Youre in ""badass"" mode? Remind yourself that feeling Suicidal is kind of like living with a monster, and being able to defeat it and live your life again is pretty badass. Fuck anyone who tells you that its Asthenia to get help or that your problems arent worth it. Youre a badass. Thats why you can make it through.', 'Im doing somewhat better. I got caught up in thinking about all my problems that day, and really just needed to get everything out. That made me feel better. Its good that youre doing the same. :)Im working to get myself back on track academically. You said you dropped out, but are you interested in going back to school? Please dont think that thats not an option because it didnt work out for you the first time. If its something that youre interested in doing, it just might give you the feeling that you have a future and something to stick around for.Im not saying you should definitely go back to school, but it is one good option. You can get help so that youre in the right mindset to do the work, work out your financial situation, and go study something that you love. It sounds to me like that might give you the sense of purpose that you dont have right now.If you think going back to school isnt for you - what else can you see yourself doing? Lets just assume, for a moment, that you decide to stay. What kind of job would you like to be doing?', 'Thanks for all of the support, everyone! I talked to the psychologist, talked to my boyfriend, and got some sleep. I feel a lot better. Im not saying that all of these problems are gone, far from it. But I was in that crazy kind of state where I was completely unable to handle anything and just needed to get all of my thoughts out. I did, and now I feel a lot better. It makes me really happy to know that this supportive community exists here.', 'Hey there. I have a similar story to yours. I posted it here last week. You can read it if you like. Im not going to pretend to understand exactly what your life is like, but I identify with a lot of what youre going through. Especially the social awkwardness and the academic issues.You might not believe this, because Im just a random person on the internet, but I do really care about you. I dont know if that means anything to you, but I hope it does. I know how much it can Pain to want to connect with people but not to be able to. Do you want to talk? Youre welcome to send me a private message if you dont feel like posting publicly.', 'So many people think that admitting that youre suffering is showing weakness. Its not. Its showing *strength.* Were fighting a terrible monster, and defeating that monster is one of the strongest things we can do.', 'Its kind of... cathartic, in a way. It lets me take out my Feeling unhappy with and Feeling angry at myself or others in a way thats not (physically) dangerous. I get some of the feeling of release without the consequence of, you know, actually dying. I guess its kind of similar to self-injury, in a way, but Im not physically harming myself.I hope youre okay.', 'Wouldnt you rather have a Depression, possibly Suicidal person, or more than one of them, feel better, even if you think the thing that made them feel better is cringeworthy bullshit? :(', 'I started tearing up with happy tears because you decided to save yourself. :,) I sincerely hope that life gets better for you from now on.', 'Im here to chat if you want to.', 'Im aware that that was an overly long, gigantic ball of crazy. Im sorry. I hope I didnt annoy anyone with it. Im leaving it up, though.Edit: It might help you to know that Im not quite as insane as that post makes me sound. Ive just been up all night in a futile attempt to study. My sleeping habits are ridiculous too, by the way.', 'Oh, wow, this sounds so painfully like me. Some of the specific situations are different, but the emotions are almost the same. Im going to reach out in a way I never do in real life and rarely online - wanna be friends? People like us need to support each other and help each other to be less lonely.', 'I feel a lot of conflicting things about myself. Most of the time, I hate myself. A lot. Very intensely. But I know Im good at at least a few things, I know I could do better. Its just that Ive wasted my potential, and also that Depression and whatever else is wrong with me has stolen it from me. Sometimes I feel like Im going to make it through all of this, and be able to really be myself again, but I always end up failing myself. Im hoping this time around will be when things finally change.I definitely wouldnt say that I love myself. I dont feel worthy of that. But I want my life to mean something.', '> But, whats another option?Blame the bullies, not the victims. Dont teach people that they should have to put up with the horrible people in their lives, but try to teach people not to be horrible people. Support people rather than criticizing them for being hurt. *Especially* in a community like this.', 'Are you still here? What would convince you to get through today - just this one day? Are you open to seeking help?I sincerely hope that youre still with us. :)', 'Thanks for your post. I had no idea this was an option for people with Depression. I think I might contact my schools disabilities resource center at the beginning of next semester.', 'What country do you live in? I ask because it seems like you could use some help with a few different things, and where you can look depends on where you live.Do you know of anywhere you can look for work?I know that a year can seem like a long time away, but next year is coming. Keep that in mind. That is something to look forward to, something to live for. Think about how good it will feel if you are able to make it to next year and get a fresh start in school.I promise you that it can be repaired. Would you be willing to call a hotline? Im still here to listen, but someone at a hotline might be able to direct you to professional help in your area, if thats what you want.', 'I feel like this too. A lot. Ive been dealing with social awkwardness and ineptitude and loneliness for years. Ive improved a bit, but Im so far from where I want to be. Now Im in this weird in-between stage, and that almost makes it worse, because I get glimpses into what life could be like, what it might be like someday. Except I dont have it yet, and I wonder if I ever will.If it makes you feel any better, I feel like Im getting just a little bit closer to being okay all the time. I still feel lonely and awkward and weird, a lot, but sometimes I look at how far Ive come in the past year, or five years, or since I was little, and feel amazed.', 'That second-to-last paragraph... how did you get inside my head? I know that feeling way too well, and I hate it. If you ever want to talk, send me a message.', 'You said that it helped you to have someone acknowledge that they read your post. I know what that feels like. Im letting you know that I saw it, too. :)', 'I know what it feels like to wish you had someone to talk to. I hate that lonely feeling. You can talk to me if youd like.', 'Dont ever think that you deserve to die just because you havent figured out what you want to do with your life yet. Every human life has value. Might sound cliche, but I do honestly believe that.Do you think that going back to school would be something youd be interested in? Most schools dont require you to pick a major right away. When you were younger, what subjects in school interested you?Im not trying to push you towards going back to school if thats really not what you want. I value education a lot, but university is not going to work for everyone. I do think that itd give you something to live for, though, and that you shouldnt give up if you are still interested.Feel free to tell me to shut up about school if youd rather try something else.', 'I used to have that enjoyment. I noticed that I rarely, if ever, feel it anymore. It can definitely be a result of Depression - its a well-known symptom, called [anhedonia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anhedonia).', 'Our situations are a little different, but Im also at a point that feels like rock bottom for me. This is going to sound incredibly cliche, but whats helping me get myself out of it is to try to do at least one thing to help myself and make my situation better every day.Sometimes I can have a normal, productive, happy day, and thats great! But right now, I cant always do that. I still try to get one thing done. Even if its small, as long as Im helping myself in some way, it counts. Maybe I just show up to a class that I havent been to in a while. Maybe I clean my room. Maybe I just send an email that Ive been needing to send. Anything, as long as Im doing something. And then, if I need to be, I can be off the hook for the rest of the day.Also, you said you fell in love with someone? Are you currently in a relationship, or just interested in the person? If youre in a relationship, and youre both happy and feel the relationship is healthy, dont automatically assume that you need to give it up. If youre not in a relationship, you might want to take some time to get yourself together, but dont give up hope.I started writing about my relationship, but I decided not to talk about that yet in case youre not in a similar situation and itd make you feel worse. Id be happy to talk about it and how its a good thing for me if youd like, though.']",Ideation
user-180,"['Genital mutilation is fucked up. Some people might try and make you feel like shit about this, but I agree with you. Circumcision is generally fucking horrific and Im appalled we still do it. Theyre your fucking genitals and you have to live with them. Nobody has a right to force unnecessary surgeries on you before you can even have an opinion. Me personally, when I learned later in life about what issues people have as a result of circumcision, I was really fucking upset and Depression about it. The problems are wide spread and most people arent aware of what they have missed because they know nothing different. Like, I personally hate my penis, but it still bugs me that this was done to me without my consent as well. The loss of sensation is scary. Anyways, I love you OP.Happy April 1st. <3', 'Well, since youre seeing a psych, youre on the right track. Id pursue medication to help you get through the day. Im not on meds yet, but I seriously think I need em. Ive been dreaming of suicide lately, tbh. ', 'Oh come on. What the hell is so special about your life that you think you cant work through your problems?', 'No, its generally not accurate. But it depends heavily on how well someone does it. If youre morbidly curious, consult some of the old reference materials from the 1800s that talk about this subject. The cruelest hangmen would make their victims live and suffer for as long as they could, others were more humane about it.', 'If you want to make your life worth living, you gotta work out the small steps first. What makes you unable to hold a job? What can you actually do to hold onto it? You need to hold a job and save up what you can while youre living with your parents. Use that money to fund a car. Save up some more. Start looking for jobs elsewhere that will earn you more money. Get comfortable. Then start looking at school again. Contact the school, get a loan (ultra simple these days), and start your education. Keep treading water till you finish out your degree. Keep an ear to the ground for employment opportunities in your field, and start applying before you finish college. On another sphere of your life; your relationships with other folks: You cant truly love someone until you love yourself. Take steps towards improving yourself, and earn love for yourself. Learn how to take care of yourself. Learn to eat right. Learn to exercise. And as you start improving yourself, other things in your social relationships will fall into place. If you truly believe youre transgender, then perhaps in all of this, pursue HRT. But it is advisable to only begin if youre mentally stable, because it can be a shock. You had plans. They didnt work out. Plans change. Adapt and overcome. You need to sculpt yourself a new future. One the government didnt plan for you with voluntary conscription of the poor. Your problems are VERY fixable. You just need to step up and seize the day, and make new plans. ', 'Ill leave you with this. When you die, it is a certainty nothing will get better. If you live? The possibility that things will get better is infinitely greater. You just need to put on a brave face and set out to conquer your demons. Your problems are quite human and fixable, and you need to stop letting your emotions govern you. You need to step up and take control of your life rather than ending it because youre afraid of living, and its implications. If you need guidance or advice, you can comment here or PM me later. Add me on Steam even, if youre so inclined. Im a 21 year old translady whos just started her journey down the path to womanhood. Been on hormones for nearly 3 months now. Be bold, and live deliberately. ', 'Hey there friend. I know what its like living in the conservative areas of the US. I ended up waiting until I moved somewhere safer before I even thought about coming out, they tended to make the queers disappear. It sounds like a lot of the grief youre getting is a product of your environment. All the people around you whom you feel are relevant all add a lot of social Pressure on you to not be your full self. I was raised a southern baptist, and I ended up with a lot of acquired homophobia before I even was of the age to know what it even was. I knew I liked dudes around the same time I figured out I liked chicks. But I never could fully admit it to myself that it was true, and I pushed it to the back of my mind and conformed because I was already getting harassed everyday for being different.Now I live in New York state, where being queer doesnt get you arrested most the time. People around here dont really give a fuck one way or the other about who youre into. And it is so not a thing around here, like. Tons of people whom you would never suspect of being gay because they dont conform to the stereotypes; they are so much more than that one tiny characteristic of their lives. Im going off on a tangent, but hey, I know how you feel. Whats your prospects for a change in scenery? I think itd help you out a lot, its literally changed my life. ', 'Holy shit, you forgot to mention theyre LDS. Thats fucking traumatic. Ive had some exposure to them through my GFs mother trying to convert me and her persistently. That whole organization is hard enough on the normal Joe, and absolutely insidious to the LGBT community.Check out /r/exmormon, theyre pretty great. ', 'I cant see how bad it is, but from what youve described it sounds like it needs real medical attention. I dont know what the wound looks like now but stitches might still be in order to hold the wound together. Fuck your parents.Walk down to the hospital and walk up to the check in desk and say you need medical attention. Theyll direct you to the ER and get you checked out, or show you where you need to go. I can walk you through it if youre scared hun. ', 'So like, what. You dont want to even try hormones? Its really not expensive, especially with insurance. And living with your parents in this day and age isnt that big of a deal, life is fucking rough out there today. Especially for folks like us who deal with our own internal malfunctions on top of outside adversity. So why is it youre set on suicide, exactly? You mentioned *""defective woman""* but I feel youve got a lot more going on youre not mentioning, this is just the latest thing thats hit you. ', 'When you have time, find yourself over to Human Resources. Walk in, be polite, and state that youre looking to file a formal complaint. Theyll help you out more than a nurse trying to cover her own ass.', 'Youre so, so welcome <3', 'You just keep saying that, but you never say why. What makes your problems so special you dont think you can solve them? I bet if you write it out for me right now, I can tell you exactly how to solve it. Youre just being shortsighted because you dont want to work through your problems. ', 'You didnt even fucking read what I wrote for you, and you dont want help. Im fucking done.Go see your therapist.', 'I feel that. Yours sound like mine. <3', 'Anxiety has robbed me of half of my life, along with domestic abuse. Youre not alone. Recently Ive found something thats really fucking helped me out with it. I started looking into nootropics, and just started taking them last night. My Anxiety has been fucking nuked. Ive been on Zoloft already and that hasnt done much for my anxiousness, but Im doing fucking great today. /r/nootropics has all the info you need on the stuff if you want to give it a shot. Im on piracetam, choline, and L-Theanine. The L-Theanines helped take the edge off, but there are way better things to try for Anxiety that they got. Its worth a try, and its game changing for me already.<3', 'Absolutely. If you want help scouting out prospective places to live, Id be more than happy to help. I dont have that great of a support network, but Ive known a lot of people that have been all over the country, and Im well traveled myself. Ive not sown my own seeds yet, but Im saving up money in order to get out of one place to flee to a more accepting place for transgender folk. So Ive got some of my own dream places I could share with you if you want ideas. :)', 'Being away from the ones you love is rough. Do you got outside contact with her, like through Facebook, texts, or whatever? ', 'I make music. Ive played guitar for about 10 years, but Ive been off of it for a while, making my music with a keyboard and a computer. But I recently picked it back up again, and I just played like I used to play all those years ago. I wanted to kill myself that day, and I almost relapsed. But I put all my hate, my fears, my sorrow, my angst, into my guitar. Theres just something magical about playing a stringed instrument with your Weakness of hand. Its so expressive, and you can say whatever you need to say with it. Something Ive lost playing on keyed instruments; perhaps Im just not good enough with it yet. The goal is to occupy your mind and your body. Your Weakness of hand and your brain. Music has been one of those things that have forced me to remain present, and engaged with this reality.  ', 'I dunno. If youre asking this question, you should probably just walk down to the hospital, go into the ER, and get help. Its illegal for them to turn you away in the US. Ambulance rides are so fucking expensive it can fuck up your life. Unless youre an immediate danger to yourself I personally would not do that, I would walk down and check myself in if I thought I could make it there without killing myself.I work at a hospital, so if you have any questions Im here. I dont know anything about costs though, Im not clinical. Just do work in Environmental Services. ', 'I encourage skeptisism, Im a skeptic as well. You can review the scientific studies and medical research papers on the substances yourself if you want. Thats what really sold me on the piracetam. Theanine is just really pleasant, Ive been in a great mood all day, which is not usual for me. :)Idk who Joe Rogan is to be honest, but the science speaks for itself. :D', 'I dont know how severe or how large an area they cover, but if it helps you can use a concealer on them to hide them and get used to the feeling of of showing off that area in public without any Anxiety of, ""What if someone sees?""', 'Hello. Im a trans lady named Jess. I dont look much like a lady yet, but someday I will. Im 21 years old, and Ive been on HRT for a little over 2 months. When I started HRT I wasnt even out to my parents yet. I didnt have the guts. You seem stronger than I, because of this. I started seeing a therapist and got him to write me a letter recommending HRT to an Endocrinologist in a nearby city. I got a lift from a friend to get to my appointment, I cant afford transportation. Since youre young, your parents insurance should still cover you, whether they want it to or not. Use it. Where Im going with this is that you can start taking serious steps towards transitioning with or without their knowledge or consent. I only came out to my parents after nearly a month on the little blue pills. Are you willing to start planning to build your new life, and take steps towards it every day to become the woman you feel you are inside? I will help you with this as best as I am capable of, any questions you may have, anything you want to know. Even if you just need a friend. ***""Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.""***What is your name, dear?**Edit:** Let me know youre still out there so I can stop wondering if I was too late. **Double edit:** Seems your user has been deleted. ', 'If youd like another trans gal to chat with, Im here for you. I struggle with this shit too, and it helps a lot to be able to speak with someone who understands. <3']",Ideation
user-181,"['The last guy beat me to the punch, but I like your username. Theyre some of the smartest birds, at least where Im from.Anyway, man, I really, really dont think you ought to do it based on what you know. If youd like to share more of your story with me, Id be glad to talk to you about it. ', 'I read it and I care and Id be interested in listening anything else you needed to say :/', 'This happened to me the day before yesterday. Im sorry to hear that. :/ It feels like the best option for me a lot of the time that Im walking down the street is to fling myself in front of a truck. Its an urge, even. Im here, though, because I didnt. I hope that that means something to you, and I hope that if you think talking to me would help you in any way at all that youll do it.', 'If youd like, you can talk to me. I wont even try to change your mind if you dont want me to; Id just like to see if I cant ease your nerves for a little while. :/ Thank you for reaching out this far, and please know that I give a fuck.', 'I feel that were in similar situations. My heart goes out to you. :/ Do feel free to talk to me if you feel it might help. Im horribly sorry that youre in a situation like that, and for what its worth, I believe that you can get through this.', 'Thank you both for caring, first of all. I probably should have addressed that in my original post.Taufish, Monday. I still attend therapy regularly (formerly, admittedly, at the behest of my girlfriend). I was on a few anti-depressants, sure, but theres not a lot they can do for BPD... thats part of what turned me off of the whole thing, to be sure. Thank you Tired much for the kind words!Billyup, I see what youre saying and there is without a doubt validity in it. My problem, though... its not just the highs and lows that Im Illness of. Im Illness of walking. While this has all been Tired interesting, I feel no real attachment to life anymore. I dont Fear death. I dont care, anymore, whether I wake up in the morning or not. It feels like everything I see is just a variation on what Ive seen- *nihil novi sub sole,* you know? Its not only misery, its bland misery. Am I making sense? Anyway, even if not, thanks for taking an interest.', 'I think with something as gravely, ultimately serious as whether you live or die, the temporary presence of the smallest doubt should really, really make you push your plans far, far back and reevaluate whether this whole living thing has some merit.Obviously, Im not you and I dont see this through your eyes, but it seems to me like you can still pick up and live your life. If youd like to talk to me, Im available.I would definitely, definitely remind some people that you love them, though, if youre really dead set on this course of action. Even if you already did it, I think you probably ought to do it again.I hope Im some help. Thank you for reaching out.', 'The universe doesnt need to be rid of you, though. Youre welcome to stay, so why not stay?Of course, I have no idea what youre going through, and so I cant really say much to you perfectly. Wont you tell me more?', 'I am so sorry for what youre going through. :/ Do you want to talk to me about it? If not, I understand. If so, I hope I could at least give you some solace with my story.Thank you for reaching out, either way.', 'You take it on faith; you take it to the heart...What do you mean? Id enjoy hearing your perspective on what you mean by the fact that theres something... novel. Something that a human doesnt experience more or less within their first two decades of life. At the risk of sounding redundant, I just feel as if its just stagnant.', 'I would be absolutely distraught to see a life cut short because of the bullying of anyone, let alone by their own parents. :/ I dont think youre whiny or spoiled. I think anyone who would write this or anything like it off as that are willfully ignoring a bigger issue.Now, I understand COMPLETELY why you feel the way you do, and cede that it is valid. However, while Im not trying at all to suggest to you what to do, in my experience socioeconomic status is absolutely no replacement for a healthy environment, nor are the broke necessarily less happy than the wealthy. Of course, I understand why nobody would willingly leave such an economic level. On the other hand, I know that if I were in such a situation, and I was ready to kill myself, Id at least take a chance on striking out on my own. After all, the difference between being rich and miserable and being poor and less miserable is much, much greater than being rich and dead and being poor and dead.The bottom line here is that youre not out of options, not yet.I care about your life.']",Ideation
user-182,"['I think wed like to help you, but we might need more information. Can we just talk? Even if it feels ridiculous or like youre ranting, you might feel better and we might be able to address some of your concerns.', 'Im doing a lot. Im taking some really stimulating courses at the university of my dreams. Im going to India this summer. Ive picked up hobbies - painting, old movies, classical music, slowly learning German. Ive picked up good habits after months of discipline. Ive worked on my physical health. Im not sitting on my ass, just feeling sorry for myself. I think Im far from that. I work Tired hard to try and carve out happiness. I have made efforts to better my life and better myself, but it all feels absolutely empty. I honestly believe that it will always feel this empty. If Im giving 100% and getting so little back, I hardly think continuing is worth it.I wont feel better if I kill myself, but at least then I wont feel anything. Look, youre not actually going to care if I kill myself. I know thats what people say through the internet, but its a hollow statement. You have no investment in me and youre not going to remember this in a week. I dont mean that to sound harsh, but its true.', 'Well, lets talk about a few things that are going on here.First off, holy shit. You certainly did try to overdose. I am surprised that you were able to wake up.Secondly, you certainly do need help. You say that your friends and family arent an option. I can tell you that drugs are not an option either. Out of all the people Ive known to self-medicate, I cant think of one who actually benefited from using drugs. Why do you use drugs? Do they help you get through your problems (or Numbness your way through them)? Are they use around your environment?Im sorry that a relationship with your ex is not going to work out. Im proud that you finally realized it - isnt that the first step to eventually getting over it altogether? If it hurts to read that, maybe you dont want to get over it. What do you need to get off your chest concerning her in order to feel better?Lets just talk. Dont go running to drugs in order to Numbness this - youve got to get over this. Were here to help.', 'I am here to talk, not judge you. If I overstep my boundaries, let me know and Ill back off.I want to you know that there is, without a doubt, hope for you. I have met people who most certainly do have social Anxiety and are able to not only function healthily eventually, but also become sociable. This isnt it for you - you can rise above this just like other people have. Let me just congratulate you on getting into uni. Please dont fall into the mental trap of thinking that everyone has a better social life than you do. I might be a poor poster child for these things (I tend to stay in my room and only go out one night of the weekend....if that), but most people are bumbling around. Its not what Hollywood or facebook portray, no matter how glamorous that shit may seem to some people.With that out of the way, you arent your Anxiety. Yes, you feel Anxiety and, yes, your actions are in response to the way you cant help but feel. However, I would try and separate yourself from the Anxiety you feel as much as possible. This might sound like confusing advice, but what it boils down to is swallowing your Fear and pushing ahead. Dont think about giving a presentation or trying to work your way through a roomful of people - just take baby steps. Work on introducing yourself and asking questions to people. Speaking of which, let me ask you a few things. What are you so afraid of? What is the worst thing that could happen, say, when you went up to that professor and asked a question? Are you afraid of looking dumb? Is it that the words just dont come out?I want you to know something Tired Pain that everyone has to learn - it has hit me rather hard, to be honest. Not everyone is going to like you. In fact, sometimes the majority of people in a room wont like you - even if youre not at fault. Thats not fair or nice, but Ive found that its true. However, that doesnt have to stop you from loving and liking yourself. Underneath that social Anxiety and Feeling Feeling nervous is YOU, and its important that you dont mix up your issue of socialization with your successes and positive characteristics in life. YOU are a good and interesting person. Your Anxiety is not you, even if it speaks loudest at times.', 'There are no people who care about me. Not really. If I did, I wouldnt be writing about my problems on reddit.I appreciate your kind words, but, I mean, youre not a friend or someone who is really invest in my wellbeing. I dont really expect you to be either - this is the internet and I can be realistic.', 'Food can be an addiction just as much as alcohol, gambling, and drugs. Your addition is just as legitimate as anyone elses. I will tell you that I had - and still struggle with - an addiction to food.I dont want to sound rude, but are you killing yourself on purpose or can you just not stop eating? Are you eating to specifically kill yourself?You need to talk to your wife and then reach out for help. The first step really is admitting that there is a problem. Now, you need to seek help. People recover from addiction and build normal lives. That can be you.Were you always obese? It sounds like you know what its like to be physical since you mentioned playing with dogs, hiking, and basketball. One of the toughest parts of helping food addicts is that they just dont know what theyre missing out on - but it sounds like you understand! Use those memories as inspiration as well as the thought of one day being a father and playing with your child.Its not about food. There is something else going on and I imagine that Depression is playing a large part in your problem. Open up to your wife.', 'It sounds like there is nothing stable in your life. There doesnt seem to be anything or anyone you can count on. When its people, things get complicated because there are Emotional upset attachments that get mixed up in everything.So, you need to find something stable. Drugs seem stable, but of course theyre not in the long run. Unfortunately, even in the best of circumstances, you rarely find people who you can fully count on. That means youre going to have to end up finding stability in yourself. That doesnt seem fair or particularly fun, but I wonder what else you could really find stability in at this point.Your age is going to partly determine what you can find stability in beyond yourself. School, work, or hobbies are the usual answers, but thats because theyre usually the best. And maybe you have a shit job or classes suck or you cant seem to find anything youre good at - I can really relate to you there - but you have to try with at least one of these. Theyre your best shot. They may be your only shot for the time being.You seem Tired isolated and alone. Im sorry for this, because even the most Depression and aloof people Ive met have something to contribute and some of them are the most awesome people I know. It seems that you are going to have to work on you for a while - even though you have done nothing wrong.', 'This is the way its always been, and its only going to stop when I finally make it.Night.', 'I can relate. I transferred from a community college and into a university. I was already a couple years older than my peers, but I really thought that the transition would change everything.This is my third and final year. I have Tired, Tired few people who I know and no one here I would consider myself close friends with. No one to open up to. It really hit me a couple weeks ago that, despite all my attempts, Im still just as lonely as I was before I got here. Maybe even more lonely.I will break up my suggestions into two categories: The first of which relates to your academics. You need to figure out why youre in college. You sound as if youre already falling behind. Do you really want to be there? Are you just in college because thats what seems natural, what people expect of you? My experience is that there are a lot of young people in college who arent really excited to be there. Thats not good. Theyre getting into crazy debt and are having to fight tooth and nail for shit jobs post-graduation. Im not advising you leave school, but I would suggest you figure yourself out. There is nothing wrong with taking a year or two or five to work a job or travel. I didnt go to school right away and was much more mentally prepared for it when I finally decided the time was right.As far as friends go, you gotta get out. You have to physically get out there. I tried joining clubs - honestly, I embarrassed myself in more than one of them. There were others that I didnt like. It didnt always work out, but if I took ten shots and nine missed, at least I got one. At least one person talked to me and didnt think I was an idiot. I ended up doing a lot of things by myself and just got used to it. Sure, it doesnt help me make friends, but it gets me out and keeps me sane. I go to plays, concerts, movies, museums, etc by myself.The first year of university sucks. It does. But if you work at it, it can get better.', 'http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html You need to call someone NOW.If you dont think you can make the call, please tell me why youre scared? Are you scared it will hurt? Are you afraid of yourself? Are you afraid of the consequences?Please DO NOT harm yourself. We are here for you.', 'So, you do these things before people get to know you as a way to ""protect"" yourself?', 'I hate it when someone offers to listen to my problems only to then get bored after a minute. They throw out a ""Well, just think positive!"" and then become frustrated when I dont bask in the glory of their completely original suggestion. I hate that. It demonstrates that someone doesnt give a shit or even try to give a shit.I dont hate suggestions - even suggestions that I dont think will work - from those who genuinely care about me. These people listen and their ideas come from their interest in helping me. Just as I feel hopeless to save myself, they feel hopeless to save me too. They see me drowning in a whirlpool of my own misery and theyre willing to throw out damn near anything - life vests, chairs, arm floaties, saxophones - for me latch onto so that I can swim away from danger. So theyll mention going for a jog, meditating, talking to a therapist, and I try to be patient. Even if Ive tried out all these ideas or they just dont work for me, there is a teeny, tiny bit of comfort in the fact that someone has tried. Maybe not enough to inch away from the whirlpool, but enough to not get sucked in that night.But, yea, to the people who think throwing out a motivational quote should someone make you snap out of it? They can go fuck themselves.', 'Yea, I would be surprised how much strangers care. I didnt mean to upset you, but Im being realistic. When I kill myself it will have absolutely no bearing on your life. If the amount of care I receive from people in my life now is all Im going to get, its not good enough to stop me from ending my life. Thats that. It would be wrong to just pin my suicide on my loneliness or blame other people, so I wont do that. Ill take responsibility for my actions. But its just not enough.', 'I think thats part of my problem. I want to follow whatever pathway will give me the most amount of success or happiness - but I Fear these will be mutually exclusive. On top of that, I dont think it matters what I choose because Ill never be truly successful or truly happy either. I dont have the ability for the former and I dont even know how to approach the latter.', 'What do you want to talk about? It can be as obscure or detailed as you like. Anything you need.', 'Thank you. Everything ended three years ago. I thought that I had been able to move on, but Im slowly realizing that some of my ingrained behaviors and outlooks have been shaped out of the way I was raised. Its not that I dont want to take responsibility for my actions or my ideas, but rather that I dont know how to respond to reality because I wasnt raised in it. The website looks helpful. It certainly can be difficult to find people who have gone through similar experiences. Thank you again.', 'My Depression comes and goes in waves, and my lack of a sex drive is one aspect of my struggle that I hate. Ill get somewhat horny and try to masturbate, but I wont be able to finish. I either get bored, stop, and try to ignore whatever urges Ive built up, or else I pretty much ~make~ myself finish and its so mechanical that its not pleasurable at all.Its frustrating because I just want to take care of my urges.', 'I have trouble defining success and happiness. I feel so narcissistic saying this, but to be honest, I think I define success as being a big name. A mover. Someone who matters and influences the world in a big way. As far as happiness goes, I dont know how to define it. I dont know what it actually IS. I can say that I want a house and love and good food and stability and time to read and watch movies, but I dont really know. I know that happiness is supposed to be a journey and not a destination, but every time I achieve something, Im not happy because Ive got to look for the next thing to work on. I dont think I can be happy. I just dont know how.I have no goals. If someone told me that x would make me successful and/or happy, Id do it, whatever it is. Im going to graduate and then I have to figure things out. I feel so little compared to the people I work under. I want them to see me as an equal, someone who really has ideas to contribute. I think I DO have ideas to contribute, although Im still working on smoothing out my edges. But itll never be enough.', 'There is a lot going on in your post. For some reason, even after reading through twice, the part about suicide being a ""cop-out"" sticks out to me. Your friend doesnt know what he or she is talking about. Ive had people tell me similar things, that ending your own life is cowardly, is running away, etc.These people have almost certainly never been Suicidal. To me, being on the verge of taking my own life is a lot like being backed up into a corner with no way out. The old ways of getting out - things that once made me happy, devices used to calm me down - dont work anymore, and Im squeezed tighter and tighter into a smaller and darker corner.What it boils down to, I think, is that you have to find a device to get out. Its either that or try to survive in the corner for as long as possible with the probability that youll eventually submit to the darkness. This isnt profound advice. I even think its annoying - because it sounds like you HAVE been trying. You HAVE tried to follow peoples advice and get out of the corner - but for some reason youre still stuck. Do you have any idea why you are the way you are? Why youve taken a sudden turn for the worst?', 'There seems like theres a lot going on in your life. What seems to be an overall issue is that no one believes you and in turn you have no one to talk to. After several years of this, its going to wear a person down. Hopefully, posting here will help relieve some Pressure and some people will be able to talk with you.It bothers me that your mother doesnt take your eating disorder seriously. Even in the event that you are lying about having an eating disorder (which I know youre absolutely NOT lying, Im just speaking hypothetically), then she should be concerned as to why you would lie about it. Either way, she should take these red flags seriously. I hope no one makes you feel guilty for not clicking with the counselor. I have never actually spoken to a counselor because I just dont think Id be able to find one Id like. Im sure this is not the answer Im ""supposed"" to give you. I think it WOULD be good for you to continue seeking help until you find someone you can work with - but that being said, a counselor is a Tired personal career. Its been over five years and I still cant find a dentist I like for Crying out loud.I really try to refrain from commenting ""Oh my god! I know how you feel! The exact same thing happened to me now let me one up you!"" However, I want you to know that I got rejected from uni several years ago. It took a lot of sacrifice and hard work, but I was eventually able to attend a school later. It is absolutely devastating to be rejected because we put so much focus on kids going to college - eighteen years of working up to it, and now you might feel like you have nothing to show for all that hard work.Once again, I hesitate to throw too much of myself into your problem. I will offer that I ended up meeting a lot of people who did not also go to school right away and who were able to create their own paths. It took a lot more work and creativity on their part, but their lives were far from over at 20. Some of them were the most badass people Ive ever met. Would you be able to get a job? I think for a lot of people, this is a good idea because it allows you to get out, get experience, and give you a reason to get out of bed every morning. When youre down and out, anything may help.Why do you think people arent taking you seriously? If you could do ANYTHING in life, what would you do?', 'Youre arent the only person though! I have a food addiction that I struggle with. It takes different forms - the form it takes for you is just as legitimate. It doesnt make any rational sense - thats why its an addiction. Think about the opposite end of the spectrum with Loss of appetite people. That doesnt make any sense either.I dont want to insult your wife, but if you are open and honest then she should believe you because shes your wife. Same with a counselor - they see all kinds of different problems.What it boils down to is that you have to take that leap and tell someone. Making yourself say it out loud will help you come to grips with your addiction. Right now youre stuck with only your thoughts, and you need the thoughts and support of other people. Please take the leap.', 'Hey, how are you doing? It seems like theres been a few problems on your post since I last logged onto reddit. Once again, Im not interested in judging you, just talking. If I overstep my boundaries, let me know and Ill back off.I have to admit that when I first clicked on your post, I thought you feeling Suicidal over being a virgin was - to put it nicely - not something I could take seriously. However, if people heard the reasons I wanted to kill myself, Im sure Id get a lot of ""WTF?""s. I think as people, we should try to control aspects of our lives and our reactions to situations, but suicide isnt exactly logical to begin with. Getting to that point is bound to be riddle with illogical ideas and overwhelming emotions. I want to clear something up, first off: the party scene you describe in college is a fantasy. It never exists for the vast majority of people, and when a lot of people say theyre going to party, it just means that its a lot of people sitting around, drinking, and, well yes, sometimes trying to hook up. I really thought I was missing out, until I had a roommate who was into the ""party"" scene. Man - it was a waste of life and energy. It was mostly people who fancied themselves the shakers of the world because they were young, good looking, and drunk. They had gigantic attitudes and judged people by shit that doesnt fucking matter. Ill never forget when my roommate told me that she ""runs this town."" No, she didnt. She just wasted a lot of money on drinks and clothes and went out to get smashed and go clubbing. I always stayed in with a few beers and watched Netflix in my pjs.But, you could potentially make the argument that she learned to socialize more and, yes, she had sex (although meaningless sex, which sounds like something youre not all too interested in). I guess I cant argue too much beyond saying that the quality of relations she had were shit. I dont feel like I missed out on much, and, frankly, no one parties to find quality people to hang out with or to learn to socialize.Im going to move on. Now, I can only talk about myself personally, but I think it might hold true for other women: I dont like flirting. I dont think its a good tactic, because it feels like a guy is trying to be sly and get something out of me. I DO love having friendly conversations. Try to aim for the latter. This is when my advice echoes that of most of reddit: you gotta find something to talk about. The way you do that is by bettering yourself and getting a hobby. That way, when you see a woman holding a book, mentioning a type of food she likes, or what her goals are, youll be more likely to at least have some common knowledge on the subject and interact. If she thinks you kindly contributing to the conversation is creepy, then shes probably not a nice person. The tough part is that this has to happen ""naturally"" - its rarely going to work on the street, but itll fly in a break room or coffee shop.If you dont know any young, single women, then you dont know enough people. You gotta find something to do: a hiking group, a class, a community club - anything. Even if you show up and there are no available women youd be interested in, at least you have the experience to talk about later and youve met people.I would also suggest online dating. I know some people have mixed feelings over it, but I think its a wonderful tool. You can think about what you want to say before you put it out there, and you can be completely honest. I would mention that youre a bit shy. I like the idea of online dating because you can cut to the chase and just be honest. Sure, most people will pass your profile by, but it means that when someone does talk to you, you can know that theyre talking to YOU.I cant quite figure out why being a virgin is such a big deal to you. Im not trying to be an asshole, but I cant figure it out. I thought maybe you were a jerk who just wanted to get laid, but that doesnt seem to be it. I thought maybe you had some idealized version of romance, but that doesnt quite seem to be it either. How does being a virgin at 25 make you feel? Weak? Pathetic? Why? What does having sex mean to you? What would you need in order to not want to kill yourself over this matter?That was long winded and maybe not Tired helpful, but I just wanted to put all that out there and have no regrets later.', 'Yea, I guess. But up until three years ago, it wasnt even a thought because of the religion I grew up in.', 'I am a student who does work study at my university. My asshat boss did something similar a while ago. As he leaned back in his office chair, interlaced his fingers together and rested them on his belly, he said that he could tell I was going to end up alright in life and I wasnt one of the work studies he has to worry about. ', 'Im not judging you, but Im interested in really trying to understand your situation. I hope this would be okay to ask: why do you think youve been unable to make these connections with others? Also, even if sex isnt the only goal, why is it such a centerpiece to you?', 'WHAT? I know lots of people who dont get married before the big 4-0 and there are people who wait to get married even after that!1) Youve had roughly ten years of your life when marriage was an option. Thats it! Thats not a lot at all!2) Youve been doing YOU! I mean, probably in more way than one, but theres nothing wrong with setting the life up you want by yourself.3) Most of the people I know who got married before their late twenties are divorced by now. Youre ahead of the game already!Why is marriage so important to you? Is it marriage or being loved? Why do you think its because youre unlovable as opposed to it just not happening yet? What do you need in life to be happy and why?', 'Whenever I go into one of my depressive cycles, my sex drive noticeably decreases. Even when Ill try to get off, I wont be able to finish, making me even more frustrated. On a regular basis, I have trouble getting off the way most other women do anyways, so that kinda takes a hit on my confidence overall.Do you think theres a connection between your Depression and sex drive? It sounds like you just have a low sex drive - thats not unnatural. Some people are just naturally less interested in sex. I would say there is no such thing as a ""real man."" Its not your job to sexually satisfy a woman. Just because youre less interested in sex doesnt make you less masculine. There are women out there who would be satisfied in a relationship with little to no sex. But in my own way, I emphasize with you. Regular sex is Tired uncomfortable for me and so what I can do is limited. It probably contributes to my overall lack of confidence.', 'Why do you say horrific things to people and destroy everything?', '""Everything happens for a reason."" :)FUCK YOU.']",Behavior
user-183,['Well Im truly saddened by this. Its people like you that make me truly happy you existed but saddened you must go. Keep it real brother x'],Supportive
user-184,"['youre a troll', 'I care, you can talk to me whenever.', 'Im here if you need help', 'Its good that youre sticking up for yourself, I wish you good luck OP and I hope you get the girl. ', '> Im worth more dead than alive.Thats a fucked up way of thinking. You dont need to go through with this.', 'no problem', 'How bad are the charges? We wont know what route to take to help if you dont at least say it. Anyways good luck OP!!!', 'Leave you bf and leave town. Start over or just move a town or city over and go to visit your son regularly. He isnt worth all that bullshit especially if he said you were the problem.', 'Dont go through with it then. How do you think your family and friends will feel?', 'I also had a thought about what it would feel like to Pain someone, just punch a girl in the back of the head. It lasted for about a Asthenia and I never acted on it but I think everyone has a thought like that, they just dont admit it. If everyone finds out then that guy is a douche and he isnt your real friend. You dont need anyone there, you can start fresh in a new city or town. You dont have to stay there. Good luck OP and I hope everything works out for you!!!', 'You can talk to me whenever you want.', 'If you remain unemployed you can always enroll in police academy and become a cop.', 'How does he get money? I thought it was only family. All Im saying is think about it, sleep on it.', 'All problems matter, no matter how insignificant you think they seem. Just tell the girl you like her, what can go wrong? The worst she can do is say no. Last summer I sent a girl a message on facebook telling her that I like her and she didnt reply. I was sad for a little while but after some time passed I realized that she was a bitch. Looking back at it I realize that she was one of the bigegst bitches in school but she seemed nice to me or maybe she was nice to me. Anyways I realized that I dont need her, even though I still kind of like her. What Im saying is that those feelings will go away over time and youll eventually fall for someone else. And you also dont need a best friend like that, why dont you try telling her that you feel ignore by her? If she is truly your friend then she will realize that she has been acting Common cold towards you. If she doesnt then you can tell her to go fuck herself. ', 'Constanza', 'If he doesnt care why did he say he backs you up? People change maybe he did too.', 'I thought you were going to kill yourself, what happened?', 'I see, well that is better than what I had pictured. Anyways this one mistake shouldnt cost your life, you should hang in there and hope that you will come out as a winner. Minimum security jail isnt as bad as it sounds, I had an aunt that went there and some friends. As long as you mind your own business and keep cool you can get through with it. Good luck and if you need to talk further Im here for you!!!', 'But who gets stuck with the debt when youre gone? How old are you?', 'Like who?', 'Hang in there OP, talk this out with your parents or a sibling or maybe even a friend. If not you can always talk to us.', 'Instead of punching a wall, put a punching bag or your bed or a pillow. Let those feelings out by screaming or drawing. Hang in there OP, Im here for you if you need someone.', 'Hang in there OP, Im here for you too.', 'Im here for you OP.']",Ideation
user-185,"['I said a mean thing earlier. I apologize. I shouldnt have let my jealousy get the better of me, especially when all you wanted to do was help people.', 'I live in Tennessee; and Im using mostly job boards since most businesses around here refuse to speak with anybody regarding employment that are ""going door-to-door.""Ive been the to local unemployment office, multiple times in fact, and their response every time has been ""Have you tried online job boards? Try online job boards. No, we cant offer you any help. Use the online job boards.""Same thing more or less also happened when I went to my universitys employment services office.', 'I dont know how my economic area stacks up against other places, but despite my efforts, Ive been looking for work for the past 2 months and only found one job.That one job lasted all of two days, and because of that job, Im not getting any of my unemployment benefits right now. (Im ""under review"" and have been for that past month.)To say nothing of the fact that Ive been searching for work for the past 4 years. Ive been looking for a different job for the first 3, but once I found a job I actually liked, I wound up getting laid off. (Which put me in the situation Im in now.)Basically, my past experiences are what lead me to believe its a hopeless situation.']",Indicator
user-186,"['He is an outstanding guy, I love him, he is amazing. Works a job that sucks his soul out just so he can try and make a life for himself, and eventually me.I am indeed in the US. We do have a Salvation Army, and love going there. Has the best stuff. Just havent gone by in quite some time =(Going to the laundromat is what is costing so much. Taking care of my brother involves lots of bed changes to keep him from getting bedsores. (I forgot to mention he is Bed-ridden and mute, along with being tube-fed) So its like 5-6 loads of laundry, $5 bucks per load in tiny-ass washing machines. I would need to ask my mother about craigslist, shit I didnt even think of that. Thanks for giving me that thought!Please dont feel that way, youve already helped by making me think of craigslist. =)Ive tried really hard with my chick friend, shes like a little crazy sister to me. She needs to get some kind of help - the bipolarism runs hard in her family. On her good days, she is FUCKING AMAZING HOLY SHIT I COULD HANG OUT WITH HER FOR DAYS. Bad days? Fuck that noise, its like walking on eggshells with shotgun triggers under each one. Guy friend will be easier to deal with, think Im gonna talk to him about it later today.holy shit. You dont need to buy anything for me, just getting a good response has made me so hopeful and figuratively Vomiting rainbows and happy and thinking *hey things arent so bad after all I mean you CAN fix this shit*. That is worth more than anything to me right now.About my douchebag brother, well, he is fucking his life up so bad, I actually feel pity for him. Its like, I can forgive him, if he stays the fuck away from me, not sure if that makes sense. Thankfully he lives half a state away and is easily ignored. I have reported him as thoroughly as possible (he succeeded in molesting a preteen daughter of a girlfriend a few years ago, got his ass pegged hard for that one), though what he did to me wasnt considered evidence/whatever the word is. So its out there that hes a scumbag, thankfully!And thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me, you have no idea how much better it makes me feel to actually be able to talk about this with someone holy shit fucking sock monkeys *internet hugs*', 'That didnt occur to me, I have a ton of stationary, colored pencils, and other art-y stuff around from my *deep emo art* years. Will definitely look into that!We really do need to do that. Even if we have to schedule it (the reason my sleeping is so fucked is because my mother is nocturnal, and my fiancee works nights), we really need to just have a **hey this makes me angry, ok im done, angry sexytimes now** moment or two. And he is hoping to have enough saved by March or so, with me hopefully moving in around July. Maybe. Our plans always go horribly awry, Im just hoping he gets a car by March, so he wont need to get ferried by his sleep-deprived mom.I figured there was a really good reason behind that, I know how that stuff goes. Its how we got the dog in the first place. And we know our limits thankfully, if it ever got to the point where it was too stressful to take care of him, or he would have a better life elsewhere, we would find him a good home. Same for my cat.Thank you so much for helping, it really helped me to talk with you guys today. I dont know how to put it into words how thankful and happy it made me to get some good, solid advice and help from you guys. ;_;', 'Good idea, I found an assistance reddit, with a metric fuck ton of other help reddits on the sidebar. Looking into this asap! Thank you again for helping ;_;', 'Having read the entirety of your post and comments, Ive come to the conclusion that you really should try to learn an instrument. You have the internet at your hands! YouTube some lessons, there are probably thousands out there. Maybe focusing on that will help some..Other than that, I have nothing to offer but sympathy and hope. =( Please feel better.', 'Im going through every word of that...Please feel better.', '\\o High-five! Woo!A washing machine would make everything so much easier, workload-wise. I dont need a dryer, lived without one for years; we use clotheslines to dry things. Gonna get to searching for one like you suggested.We use a sheepskin and sheet combo (by sheepskin, it has the exact same texture as an actual sheep, but is made out of non-sheep fibers), and yes a towel texture would be Tired bad for his skin, as it is Tired thin; though I do use one occasionally for VERY short intervals when I bathe him. And that still leaves marks. =( Everything underneath him has to be as flat and smooth as possible to prevent marking.Again, thank you so much for responding.', 'Killing yourself is never an option. You are capable of so many things, and you have your entire life ahead of you. One stint in prison wont change that. Things will get better, have hope.I have no advice as I am young and naive about these things. I can only offer the most sincere comfort of a stranger on the internet. *hugs*', 'Dear god, you made me cry. Ive been suffering from Depression since I was 8, myself. You give me hope that I will someday be able to fight this, and rise above it.Thank you so much for writing this.', 'There are literally no jobs to be had. And so many people are being fired. The KFC I tried applying at closed down about 3 weeks ago, out of nowhere. And I am applying to any job that will take my sorry ass, man I will scrub toilets with a toothbrush wearing nothing but fuckin SOCKS if that would get me out of here for a few hours.He is a wonderful guy, I call it unstable because our communication isnt good at ALL. He cant vent to me because he feels my situation is the worse, and I explained why I couldnt vent to him. Were not going to break up by any means, weve soldiered on for years. Maybe I should change the wording? D= I dont live with him; he lives three states away, at a job he hates. But a job is a job.The dog was a rescue from my batshit cousin with 5 kids. He is loved and wanted, but hes my moms dog, not mine. So he is to her, what my cat is to me. Itd kill her if we had to give him up. (History of rescuing animals, and losing quite a few through medical reasons)I see your point here. Ive really gotta tell my guy friend to cut that shit out, joking about banging my fiancee makes me feel like crap.No, I take care of my half-brother, who was injured in a car accident when I was 2. My other brother moved out when I was 13ish and moved half a state away, thankfully. I would have murdered him if their situations were swapped, heh.Thank you so much for responding with honesty and being helpful. Really, thank you so much. ;_; *hugs*', 'Thank you so much for reading it, and responding. Im going to try and respond as much in here, and try not to sound like a babbling mess. but again, thank you so much, its guys like you that give me hope that I can eventually get the hell out of this mess and come out like a champion.', 'My mother joined the military when she was quite young (Army), and stated that the best options (if I were to join) would be Air Force or Navy.Education-wise, my mother never filed the paperwork to get my homeschool diploma. My half-sister suggested I get a GED in lieu of getting the diploma; Im thinking this would be the best course?Thank you for responding honestly. I am amazed at the responses Ive gotten today. I will definitely think about this. *internet hugs*']",Indicator
user-187,"['Things seem to have taken a turn for the worst... Im so Worried for her life now. ', 'I think youre right.. I think its time I started seeing someone to talk to. Ive put it off for about a year now. (my mother has been offering the option for about that long) I cant believe people care about this.. And arent just looking at it like just another sad break up.. Thats what my parents did. Thats what most friends did. Only 3 people including strangers on reddit have been understanding. Or at least try to be. And supportive too. Thank you so much for being here for me... My mind is in such a bad place.. ', 'I have been trying to focus on friends.. Ive been trying to get out almost every day Im free just to keep my mind active and distracted. 2 other guys and I keep going out trying to get girls numbers and just being high school guys but I feel worse and worse because in the back of my head I still want to spend my days with her. Its been a few weeks since we were together too.. ', 'In all honesty.. I only want her. I want to be happy with her again.. I still love her and I dont want to find someone else to replace her.. Deep down I dont want to find someone else. ', 'I think I am going to get help. As soon as I can. I feel like if I dont Ill stay exactly how I am falling deeper and deeper and Im afraid if I fall any deeper I might give up... I already have thoughts that I fight. Maybe I really should do something. My mother has been concerned about my wellbeing. But she doesnt know the full story of all this.. She thinks its just a breakup I need to get over. ', 'I feel safer with one person because Ive never had a best friend or a loved one I would go to when I needed them. People have always just come and go in my life so for me to connect to one girl who loved me the way I loved her... I felt like I wasnt alone anymore. Like it wasnt just me every day mindlessly going through my life.. Ik it sounds needy but I guess Im just the type of person who can only connect with one person on that level. ', 'Its not that I feel better with friends.. I feel distracted. When I was drinking and cutting it was only to see if I still feel anything.. The drinking I just feel guilty and the cutting makes me hate myself.. Ive stopped that tho.', 'Ya know.. Ive struggled with Depression for about a year and a half now. It only got better in the time I was with her. But now that I dont really have her here, Ive fallen to a place so dark Im actually scared to be home alone because Im afraid of myself. The breakup happened Superbowl Sunday. Yeh lousy timing. There were 2 breakups. The first wasnt bad and just more of a lets try to work around some issues and the second was when she decided she couldnt be with me if she were to try and get better.. ', 'I feel destroyed not just because of a breakup. People break up. Ive done it before. I am destroyed because I poured everything I am into someone who gave me everything she was.. And now shes gone.. This evening after I showered and shaved I stared at myself in the mirror and asked how would I want my last day to be like.. Thats how I know something is seriously wrong with me. Im too scared to tell anyone. I dont want to alarm my friends or family.. ', 'Im getting help. Very soon.. I think its about time I do. Ive already fallen in the deep end and if I try to get out by myself Im Worried Ill fall back in and there wont be any water.. ', 'She was. Im also glad I did what I could. She deserves a good life. The last few weeks have been the probably the worst of my life and maybe hers. But Ive got alot of life to live yet, and Im going to change myself for the better... Its about time I have. Thank you for being here for me and listening/understanding when you dont even know us.. It really means so much to me. ', 'Well for the next few days Im just going to go to school, come home, wait for dinner, go to bed early. Basically repeat that every day.. Maybe Friday I was gonna call her and try to talk even a little bit.. Btw did I mention I dont sleep.A. Because I cant sleep in general (due to Anxiety) B. When I do sleep I only dream of her still being here.. C. What is there for me when I wake up now..?', 'I love her more than life... I know I put too much of myself into us and thats why it hurts so bad but I honestly dont regret doing so.. She does have some things she needs to work out and I support her but I dont want her to go.. I know it hurts her too.. Because Ive tried to reach out to her and she has her friends read the texts before she does because it hurts that bad.. I know I should be supportive but I feel so alone. Having her gone and her not being here just... Its tearing me apart and driving me to such a bad place. Thank you tho for wanting to help.. It does mean alot. ', 'Every single time I feel like I get close to someone or I have someone there for me they go away or become distant not for personal reasons.. They just go. My girlfriend was the first person who I felt like isnt going anywhere. For the first time I actually looked at my future as less lonely and something to consider with her.. She helped me cope with my Anxiety whenever Id have a panic attack shed calm me down so well.. Shes the only one who knew how to calm my overactive mind. ', 'Ive tried talking to friends. They all tell me the same thing.. Love what was, but move on and eventually Ill find someone else. In all honesty I dont want to spend my life finding someone else. I liked being with her because I felt safe and genuinely happy.. Idk maybe a strangers support will help me get my head out of such a dark place. Because noone I know is doing any good.. ', 'Im not sure what there is to talk about anymore. Im not sad or happy. Im just.. I feel empty. Like literal nothing. The only times Ill be sad or upset is when I begin to think about when I was happy. Or at least think I was. Or when I think about my ex girlfriend. Once I start thinking about it all I cant stop and I just dont want anything to do with anyone or go anywhere.. Idk maybe Im just broken and dont know what makes me feel.. Probably doesnt make sense. But it does to me. ', 'Yeh man.. She um.. I spoke to her earlier just to see how she was.. And she told me that the night we broke up, she opened the box in which she had duct taped bad things inside (to hide it away from herself) and she swallowed the pills inside.. She had her stomach pumped in time tho. She ""had stitches too"". She told me some other things that scared me so much.. But my head got straight. For the first time in a while I didnt panic. I didnt do anything other than talk softly and encourage trying harder at life. As soon as she left, I messaged her dad, sister and best friend and told them everything she said. I told them she needs as much help the world can offer right now. I still care. I also decided that as a 16 year old I shouldnt have to deal with things as heavy as this.. Ive got my issues but Im going to deal with them ASAP. I shouldnt have to hold someone elses life or worry about loved ones dying at any moment. I think now that Ive gotten everyone aware of the severity of the situation.. I need to move on. To work at myself. Ive done everything in my power for HER.', 'Ive has Anxiety for a long time. Long as I can remember actually.. But it became pretty apparent last summer? Maybe the one before. When I was with her I rarely had panic attacks though.. Now that shes gone Ive had more than I can count. So she wasnt just good for me emotionally she helped me with my own Depression and Anxiety. Along with hers... ', 'Im going to try to make a change for myself and she is going to get what she needs.. Thank you for just being here and listening to all this. You really helped. ', 'Im not sure... Ive always felt alone and thats what made the Anxiety worse sometimes and the Depression more apparent.. Im not Tired rounded when it comes to sharing myself with friends. Id much rather just have one person there with me because I feel.... More secure.. ', 'Losing her makes me feel alone and aimless again. Like I have no reason for anything.. I feel some guilt. Only because I know I made mistakes and broke a few promises.. I know if I had the chance Id be able to do right. When Im with my friends its a distraction so I feel somewhat better.. But usually only for that brief time. When Im at home I just wander around from room to room. Eventually having a panic attack then Ill just cry myself into a corner for a half hour.. Then repeat about an hour later. I dont trust myself because Ive been playing with matches. (literally) Theres a hard liquor rack in my house and Ive started drinking a bit.. Ive tried cutting a few times to see if I feel anything.. I just dont like what goes through my head. I cant even distract myself easily.. ']",Behavior
user-188,"['From the guardian article comments:>Wouldnt attempt rates be less accurately reported than succes rates? For actual suicides there is a body (in most cases) and a coroners report, but how many attempts go unrecorded, and what defines an attempt anyway?>Some suicide methods are easily identified, even if they only result in a failed bid, whereas others remain hidden to all but the attempter. This is imoortant if, as you say, there is a difference in male methods and female methods. These figures may not bear scrutiny', 'Lonely as lonely can get.Shit was so much easier in my teenage years.', 'No, I predicted people would say that.', 'A healthy religious family and comunity(in b4 oxymoron) should know how to deal witth doubt.', 'People dont want this to go public but think about this:When someone kills himself on a webcam and a bunch of trolls/idiots cheer the deed, it will be all over the news to say how evil the techie generation is. When people actually help their fellow man over the web, it might go unnoticed.', 'Still murky, theres the problem of confusing suicide attempts with overdoses for instance.', 'I will be doing my Apllied Thermodynamics exam.Third date and Im still behind first base, dont know if I should bring flowers.']",Ideation
user-189,"['Why?', 'Idk. Weve been talking. She says she doesnt want to see me until shes ready to get back together. Its still pretty confusing to me. But I definitely feel more hopeful that this will work out eventually. I just dont get what this is about because too me, and to everyone really that knows us, I think, we are clearly a Tired good couple, good for each and good with each other. I guess that does sound like your situation. Sounds like it happened to you a while ago though.', 'Do you have a job?', 'I was in the same boat as you for the last couple months. I know exactly how you feel. If you check my comment history you will see the post I made when my gf of 4 years broke up with me. I didnt find out until a Asthenia ago, but she left me for a guy she workswith. I love her more than anything and just like you I saw no future without her. So what I did is went to work improving myself and becoming the best me I could be. I knew she had left because I had changed over the last 6 months into something other than myself and the only hope I could hold onto was that these efforts would bring her back to me. So I started saving all my money for our future together, I started working out and eating right, I did a bunch of things both big and small that I know she likes for me to do. Now I am in the habit of budgeting well, eating well, exercising regularly, staying cleanshaven instead of growing a scruffy beard until it gets Itching enough that I shave it, I dont take out my feelings by arguing with people, I listen more, I am just an all around better person.And guess what, my gf came back to me and we are planning big things for the Tired near future. Not saying this will happen in your case necessarily (for me, my gf said being with that guy made her more sure that I am who she belongs with basically). But even if she doesnt, you will feel better about yourself. You will be more confident. I know it because I had become a Depression fuck that no one would want to be around due to personal reasons and that is why my gf left and now I am not. Even before my gf came back I could already sense I was changing, becoming better. Im telling you - throw everything in to improving whatever you feel you dont like about yourself. When you feel you might as well die, there is nothing left to lose. So you might as well give it a shot. ', 'So many Los Campesinos! lyrics...""This thing hurts like hell,but what did you expect?""-The Sea is a Good Place to Think About the Future""the first time, the last time, all the times in-betweenthe first time, the last time, all the times i wouldve liked there to have beeni cant believe i chose the mountains every time you chose the sea...""-Coda: Burn Scar in the Shape of the Sooner State""I think too much about the end, but being around it made me feel like Im coping.Now when I view the cemetery I dont see headstones,I see rows of engraved metal teeth, hungry, waiting for meAnd though I am fearful, I think I just crave the relief""-Who Fell Asleep In""I taught myself the only way to vaguely get along in loveIs to like the other slightly less than you get in returnI keep feeling like Im being undercut""and...""I cannot emphasise enough that my body\xc2\xa0Is a badly designed, poorly put together vessel,Harbouring these diminishing, so-called vital organsHope my heart goes first,\xc2\xa0I HOPE MY HEART GOES FIRST!""-We Are Beautiful, We Are DoomedI could go on and on, Los Campesinos! are brilliant and you should listen to them.More recently...""A spitting image of meExcept for a heart-shaped hole where the hope runs out""and...""Where are you hiding, my love?Cast off like a stoneFeelings, raw and exposed when Im out of controlPieces were stolen from meBut dare I say, given awayWatching the water give inAs I go down the drainI appear missing now""and...""Its only falling in love because you hit the ground""and...""With my toes on the edge its such a lovely viewI never loved anything till I met youIm over the edge now what can I do""-I Appear Missing by Queens of the Stone Age', 'Is the problem that you still want this girl back? Or is it just that you truly dont believe that there is anyone else who is worth it? With me, I had been with my girlfriend for four years and were friends for even longer. So I really feel like we are perfect for each other. But if you just think there is no one out there that you can trust, that isnt true. I went through plenty of girls that were shitty or just bad matches before meeting her. Some I talked to for mintues, some for weeks, but in the end like you said either they didnt want me or I didnt want them. I didnt meet anyone I loved until I was 24 and my girlfriend finally went out with me. So I know youve been trying for two years but trust me I had been trying for longer. But in the end it was worth every second of feeling bad, lonely, Depression, and like it was never going to happen. I think you should give yourself and life some more time. Put more effort into improving yourself as well, for me I found that thag effort could be what mames someone give you a second look that allows them to get to know who you really are.Oh and thanks for the advice on hannibal. I watched an episode of bates motel a while back and thought it was horrible so I got turned off to these movie sequel/prequel shows that seem to be happening now.', 'Haha and I cant quit smoking tobacco! I feel like we have a lot in common. I read in your reply to someone else a while ago that you are ""just a teenage fat kid."" Dude. You are a teenage fst kid that at least had a girlfriend! I was a teenage fat kid who girls who I thought at least liked me as a person who sat at my art table with me were calling ""mucho gordo"" and I didnt take spanish (I took italian) I had to find out later that gordo meant fat. I didnt have any serious relationship jntil my 20s. I was 280 pounds and finally said well fuck it I hate myself so might as well die better looking so I started walking a lot and lifting weights and what that did (in addition to making me healthier and more in shape - I lost 110 pounds) it also made me feel better about myself. So thats why I always suggest exercising to people who are Depression because now I use it when im Depression. Another bonus is when you are working out or bike riding or whatever and you are dying from exerting yourself - you cant think of how Depression you are. It is like physically impossible. But anyway my point with telling you all that about me is this: my life was shitty just like yours. And im Depression right now which is why I first came here. But I gave life a chance and had so much happiness for years with an amazing, beautiful woman that I wouldnt trade for anything. If I can do it I know that you can do it. You have a headstart on me even.', 'Well if it didnt matter to me I wouldnt ask. Really, whats been up?Ive been feeling progressivley worse everyday. Gonna see my gf this weekend and she says she wants to talk about stuff. Idk what its gonna be about, she says its nothing bad, but anything other than saying she wants to get back together would just be different levels of bad. Still exercising everyday, which at least blocks out thoughts while im doing it. Going to school and trying to focus on getting shit done for that is next to impossible but im keeping it up. I finally got to watch episode one of Hannibal it was really good!', 'I mean what were you thinking as you were dying? Did you regret it? Were you in great pain? Ive been thinking if I did it Id just drink and get in the bathtub and keep drinking until I blacked out and just slumped under the water and drown.', 'Hey man howre things goin?', 'How can I not blame myself? If she is unhappy then it must be because of me. When we talked an hour ago I asked why she didnt sit me down and tell me she was unhappy and that there were things wrong that we needed to work on. She said whenever she tried bringing up things I would just get mad and leave or I would tell her I dont want to see her again and ignore her for a while. Unfortunately this is true. I dont know what the fuck I was thinking but I never thought it would come to this and I wish I could go back and do it over. She does still say there isnt anyone else, but she got pissed immediately when I asked today. Im not sure what to make of that because of course it could be her being mad as a defense so I wont press the issue (she could also feel guilty about it or not want to tell me because of how it will make me feel), but it also could just be true and she is annoyed that I keep asking her that because I have done it quite a few times now, even though it wasnt angrily and accusatory just like tell me so th at I know what the situation is you know? So yeah I dont know if it is temporary or not yet. I realize that it Tired well may not be. In fact I wouldnt feel the way I do if I wasnt Tired aware and afraid of how untemporary it may be. She never has done anything like this before.  Also when I asked her what she has been up to (just normal stuff) I asked if it had been hard for her and she said no. This is probably the worst part of the whole conversation for me. How could it not be hard? But when I talked to her yesterday she said it hasnt been easy for her either and she started crying. So Idk how much I learned from this except that I have been kind of an asshole. She also said I havent really shown her I love her for a while but honestly I used to all the time tell her how beautiful she is and show all kinds of affection and she said I needed to stop because it was too much so I did and now I dont act like I love her I guess. I told her that too. Anyway she had got up early today to garden bc its nice out and she worked all night so she was too Tired to talk for long and said she couldnt really think of all the reasons she had and shell call me tomorrow.Towards the end she told me to get some sleep and I just blurted out how I cant sleep, I havent slept hardly at all and I havent eaten anything since Monday. She got kinda mad and said not to put that on her. So I dont feel like I can even bring up how bad I really feel. So that really sucks. Thanks for commenting and Id really be interested to hear how our situations are similar. I hope yours is going better.', 'How do you know when and how youre going to die? What makes you say your life expectancy is short?  I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and if I did Id be glad I made my life happy even for a brief while.', 'It depends. People who care about you will try to help you so you should tell someone like that who you are close to. ', 'Is there anything you can point to that lead to you feeling this way? Food not tasting good, everything seeming faded, not caring for pussy...all these things are symptoms of Depression. I know because I went through this starting a month ago and off and on now. I know what started it for me but what was it for you?', 'Why do you feel you dont have the power to make your life better?', 'I see what youre saying but it would be impossible to get a ring. I had been out of work for a little over a year and just got a job (not a great one either) and have been going to school. I was going to save up from every paycheck for one. The best I could do is ask my mom to let me have one but that wouldnt be a good one either because she definitely isnt parting with her engagement ring or anything. My best options are a picture or totally ringless. Not saying it isnt a good idea, just that I dont think I could execute it properly. I still might try it, but ill just have to try and read the situation. And the marriage issue isnt the only thing and I dont know how large of a percentage it played in the whole thing.', 'I know there are people in my life that will be Pain. But I feel like Id do more damage to my gf specifically by staying with her and being this fucked up and dragging her down.', 'My brain technically knows all of this and youre totally rigjt. But this time it doesnt seem to help. Thanks though. Glad to hear you made it through.', 'Why do you abhor yourself?', 'I really hope you dont mean that. You seem cool to me and I know that you have plenty of time to turn things around. All you have to do is set your mind to it. I know that when youre Depression it doesnt seem that way, TRUST me, I know. All you can do is hold on to hope and set your mind on your goals and work towards them. Even during your Depression, realize that if nothing is going right you might as well just spend some time every day doing SOMETHING positive towards your future. Even if you cant envision having a future there is nothing to lose in doing a little something tomake headway. The worst that can happen is you end up staying where you are. But the possibility, no matyer how slim it may be, that things could change, is worth it. ', 'Thatsexacty where im at. Do you know why she left? Improving yourself is the best way to get her back. Id rather die than not be with my girlfriend, but Id rather be with her than die (or do anything else). So what im doing is working on all of the legitimate issues she had with me and even some things she didnt have a problem with. ', 'Awesome to finally hear from you I was seriously starting to worry. What kind of problems?', 'You lose the luxury of killing yourself when you have a kid. Now stop thinking about that shit and start thinking about what fun stuff you are going to do with your son the first time you see him when you get out.', 'So whats wrong though? Why are you Depression? Is it just that all your friends are away? What field are you in?', 'This is not an excuse. My girlfriend has gone through some Tired trying times as well and they Asthenia me emotionally as well. In fact right now she is doing something that iss draining me, giving me Anxiety attacks, Depression, and more. Yet I would gladly go through all of these times because I love her and I would rather go through bad times and still have her than not have her under any circumstances. Having her love me and no one else would be more than enough. If you dont see a point to your life then make it about her. Instead of ruining her life by you dying, try making her happy. Start by improving yourself for her. Do positive things for her. Exercise,  whether you are skinny or fat or whatever, is just a great way to deal with Depression. Jogging, bike riding, weight lifting, whatever. Dont resolve to kill yourself without at least exploring options like these.', 'There is no moving on for me. This is the girl that I love and want to spend my life with. She is perfect for me. I dont believe she is moving on, she cant be. She loves me and I have helped her so much in so many ways, as she has with me. She said this dude isnt as smart as me and doesnt have as good a oersonality. She hasnt done anything with him yet and I asked her to oromise not to do anything with him u til she makes her decision about getting back together. I honestly believe she will come back to me but just tonight is really rough and freaking me out.Im not someone who people would think of as Suicidal either. Im an atheist an have always said how suicide is insane and I would never do it because there is nothing after life and I would rather live than have nothing. Now I understand though since I see no future without my gf in it.  I have been in a better mood lately since it has been seeming hopeful with my gf but tonight I am back to think and planning how I would die. For you though, it really would be a waste of potential to kill yourself. It really seems like things will get better for you - that this is just a temporary situation. Shitty yeah, but temporary.', 'I am in pretty much the same place as you are and I know how impossible it seems but all you can do is try. Even if all it means is a few seconds a day where you dont feel like everything is hopeless and you just want to end it all then that few seconds is better than nothing. And like I said it cant make things worse, there is nothing to lose.', 'What happened to your friend?', 'Whats up dude?', 'A new dog will never replace the one you had, but it offers a whole new world of experiences with what will come to be an animal you love and who loves you also.', 'Hello?', 'Well I think you should reconsider.', 'How did you do it? What was wrong? Any advice would be good.', 'You cant like it this way if you want to kill yourself.', 'There is absolutely no way your daughter would be better without you. In fact, killing yourself will exponentially increase the likelihood of her ending up feeling exactly like you do all the time and then killing herself as well. You may not care about yourself, but you care about her. What you should focus on instead of your suicide is instead planning your recovery. Get help at a hospital if that is what it takes. Having a mother who battled her demons in order to stay with her is somehing your daughter will appreciate and admire when she gets older.', 'Do you go to school? Thats a great place to meet people. Im assuming theres no one to reallh befriend at work or else you would have. Im kinda in the same boat with the loneliness. My gf of 4 years broke up with me abruptly a month ago. She said she was unhappy because I had changed. Long story short, we habe been talking and she is considering coming back to me. But today I saw her and she told me she has been hanging out with another guy for the last cohple weeks. Apparently he reminds her of how I used to be before I changed. Then I went to work and she stopped texting me. I assume because she was with him. I asked her to please call me before going to bed but by now its clear she didnt.Also all my friends have basicallh moved away as well. So im stuck here with only reddit to talk to as well.Edit: duh you said you arent in school my bad.  Obviously yoh will be going in the near future though in order to be a vet though right?What brought you to this sub? Are you feeling Suicidal over this? It seems like you have a good future ahead of you. What has your relationship situation been like? Is that a problem?', 'Well you wont have a reason to kill yourself if you work on improving things about your life that you dont like. Youre like a decade younger than me it is so much easier to change when you are younger.', 'It is a shame but then again do you really want to date a religious nut? Being friendzoned sucks, but what you may not realize is that it also doesnt. First of all, being friendzoned even would have been an improvement for me in high school. But more importantly - what people dont realize is the friendzone is also the first step to a great relationship. Everyone wants their SO to be their best friend. This is what makes the best relationships. Literally everyone I know, including both of my older brothers who are Tired happily married, began as friends with their respective partners. In high school I think people dont realize this stuff because it is all about who is hot or who is cool or whatever other bullshit that doesnt matter after high school ends. But eventually most people realize that it isnt about that. I was in the friendzone with my gf while she was dating her asshole high school boyfriend still who treated her like shit. Eventually we became best friends. Then we stsrted liking each other. Than it became more than just liking. Then it began the best four years I could ever dreamed of having. And I fucked jt up. The key part is to not fuck it up.Im kinda at that fjck it stage too. I statted smoking again. I try to remain positive and during the day it is easier because jts easier to distract myself and I can work out and stuff. Bjt getting to bed at night is the worst, which im sure I dont need to tell you. As far as your knee is concerned, try to work around it. You could do push ups, leg lifts, cu rls probably. Bike riding doesnt really impact the knees and is more fun than running imo.', 'I didnt have sex until I was 24. Dont worry about it that much. I felt much the same way you did but trust me, it was worth every single day, Asthenia, month, year when I fi ally had sex with the most beautiful, amazing girl in the world who I got to spend the next four years with. ', 'Hey man whats been goin on?', 'I used to love reading for exactly the reason you said. Now that im dealing with Depression I cant read anymore and it sucks. I really, REALLY loved it, but its not distracting enough and my mind wanders to bad thoughts before I can get into the zone where the book is playing in my head like a movie.', 'My girlfriend also broke up with me just over a month ago. I know exactly how you feel. She said almost the same thing "" I dont want to be with you anymore"". It really, really sucks. I dont reallh have friends either because they all have moved away. If you find out anything that helps these feelings go away please let me know.', 'Why did they do that? Do you ever talk to her or see her?', 'Thats such a healthy, positive outlook. Congrats on getting past everything really.  I hope if my girlfriend doesnt take me back I can do the same some day.', 'Well wtf. Is she really religious? Or she just has to respect her parents wishes because she lives with them? Do they know the bible says they arent supposed to judge people? Wow.', 'I know exactly how you feel. My gf left me almost two months ago after four years together. Everyday just feels empty. She is perfect and I have never loved anyone like her and doubt I will ever again. If I could offer any advice it is just to focus on improving yourself. I am working on getting I to perfect shape, co tinuing school, and getti g a better job. It is really hard most days because it just feels like without her there is no point...no possible future that iant filled with Depression a d emptiness. But there is nothing to be lost by tryi g and only possible upside (in my case hopi g this will bring her back to me).', 'What do you mean? You have as many days as you decide to have. Your future is entirely within yojr control.', 'I have thought about that. I dont know though it could backfire. She already accused me of only saying I was looking at engagement rings because she said not wanting marriage was a reason for her leaving. I dont have a ring yet either, just pictures I downloaded to my phone to ask my sisters advice on and maybe her sisters advice. Also Im not sure she will want to meet me she already ignores most of my texts after not talking for days because she said its too hard to do this if she keeps talking to me. What would I do, propose with an empty box like the douchey way they did it in knocked up? Idk about that. I have considered texting her a picture of the best ring with a ""will you marry me"" caption but that is even more pathetic. But its hard to think rationally at all now.', 'Shes alive someone found her passed out and got her to the hospital in time.', 'How did you make peace with losing your girlfriend?', 'Oh I see. Well I hope things get better for you.', 'Me too. Whats up?', 'There is no beginning in death. You die and then you are dead forever. Thats it. If you want a new beginning you need to work at creating it for yourself. Thats what ive been trying to say.', 'Dude im so happy for you!  Thats exactly how I felt! It only gets better the more you continue too. Looking good is just an ancillary benefit really. Feeling better about myself and having more energy during the day and less trouble sleeping is what really made me want to continue.By the way I just watched the episode of Hannibal with the guy who makes people into angels. Wow I cant believe they can show that on tv. The show really is good.', 'I definitely think talking to your bf about this is the best idea. She said he loves her and wants her to be happy. If my gf were like this I would want her to talk to me about it so we could figure out whT to do about it together. Its no good sitti g around getting all upset about thinki g he will leave you without discussi g it with him.', 'Im sure you are aware of this but your boyfriend is a real piece of shit. Not just because he didnt care that you are Suicidal, but because having a kid is both of your responsibilities. This kid isnt coming because you did something, its because you bith did. If he was so against having one he should have been more responsible. I would never treat my girlfriend like this and I hope you find someone better or that he stops being so shitty.You say that you want to feel the love you give to people.doesnt your daughter love you? Im sure she does. Make her your reason to keep going.If you really feel like having another baby would be a burden that you cant deal with, Miscarriage and adoption are bith viable options. Give it lots of thought and find out which one is better for you.', 'I know exactly how you feel. My girlfriend broke up with me after 4 years. The day after our anniversary, without any warning, via text message. And then severed all communication with me for days. I recieved this text as I was browsing online researching engagement rings, anticipating proposing later in the year. So trust me, I know how you feel.  I couldnt eat, I couldnt sleep, I started having Anxiety attacks where my heart would start pounding and I would involuntarily shake. She is my soul mate, the perfect person for me, the only woman I will ever truly love. After several days of this it got to the point where sometimes I would just be sitting in bed with a knife, running it over my wrist, wondering how bad it would Pain, how long it would take. I made plans to go to a cheap motel, drink, run a hot bath and end it. But I didnt and neither should you. My girlfriend said I dont make her happy and that ive changed. I decided it would be stupid of me to just kill myself without trying anything else. So I have become determined to be the best person I can be. Maybe I wont be able to get her back and if that is the case idk what will happen. But who knows. The main thing is to try. Our anniversary was about a month ago. My girlfriend has started talking to me and I have seen her a couple times briefly, but still doesnt want to get back together, although I am feeling more hopeful (most of the time) lately.Well thats my story maybe you can tell me yours.Also, your name implies you are a fan of horror movies and so am I. I have seen tons, as im sure you have, got any reccomendations? Ive been watching a lot of movies/tv lately to try and distract myself when im alone. Been thinking of trying that new show hannibal but idk if its good.', 'The Illness irony of the situation is at the beginning of our relationship I helped her through being Suicidal. She actually somewhat attempted it. She swallowed a bunch of Tylenol I think or something like that while locked in a room and I called a suicide hotline and they sent cops and she had to go to a psych hospital for about a Asthenia and I visited her everyday. She had to draw a picture in there and she drew something thatsymbolically represented me. I still have it and I spent time looking at it today.Now Im afraid to even tell her my thoughts Im having because I dont want to make her feel guilty and I know it wont make her not be unhappy with the relationship or anything so its pointless. Shes the one person who could help but shes leaving me.', 'I was in literally the exact same situation as you just 3 months ago.The way I dealt wjth it was by throwing myself into self-improvement, completely. Everything from working out everyday down to keeping shaved instead of letting weeks of stubble grow. I worked on everything, every little detail of myself that needed any improvement and I worked on my future. Most days it was a struggle to do anything but everyday pretty much I at least did something to help myself, even if the rest of the day I just layed in bed hating life. ', 'Really? Or are you being sarcastic? Honestly it worked for me. I am at the point now where chicks sometimes check me out after being fat and hating myself for so long it is a great self-esteem boost.What do you do? I ride my bike back and forth to work everyday and that burns a ton of calories and is fun. I also have two curl bars that I use. For ab/core work I found leg lifts are good because they dont Pain your back and neck like situps.', 'You have to be proactive in making change. I understand in Depression it can be worse than swimming up stream but it doesnt Pain to try.', 'She didnt give me all my stuff back. I had a package delivered to her house. Its just a Jimi Hendrix album. And I have a few hoodies there but I think thats about it.  She does say that me not wanting to get married is a reason. I did say quite often that I think marriage is unneccesary and that I dont really Carr about it. But other times, when we were being seriousor intimate (not necessarily meaning just after sex or something) I admitted that I did want to marry her. I told her about how I was looking for engagement rings, but she said Im just saying that now because of what is happening. I dont know how she could think Im not committed we do everything together we tell each other everything and Ive never even thought about being with anyone else.', 'What makes you want to do this?', 'Yeah I see my girlfriend about once a Asthenia the last couple weeks and I talk to her everyday. Its better than not seeibg or talking to her at all, but I hate that we arent really together. Sometimes she still says I love you but sometimes she doesnt. You do t know why her parents said she cant see you?', 'Hey hows it going?', 'Yeah she does want kids soon. I want kids too but I have said that I think it would be best to wait until at least one of us is out of college. I mean Id love to be able to have a kid now but I think it would be better for the kid this way. And I guess she didnt really know that I wasnt really serious about never wanting to get married. I have told her I would because she wants to Ive told her I want to be together forever and Ive said that I want to marry her. But I guess the amount of times I sarcastically disparaged the idea of marriage greatly outnumbered those times.', 'No it isnt. Death is the ultimate ending.', 'Well thats fuckin shitty of her. Yeah I lost about 40 pounds during the two months my gf left me. The bright side is I feel better about myself and am more confident. I also started noticing chicks checkin me out which is nice. Getting in shape is a great way to boost your self-esteem and feel better about life in general I think. I highly recommend it. Dont just not eat, though. I wasnt eating a lot during the breakup and literally once fell over from lack of food basically. But yeah losi g weight is great. You wont be lonely for too long im sure. You just need a nice chick (with non-crazy parents) to watch scary movies with. Its the best thing in the world. My gf came back to me now and things are better than ever. I know things will turn around for you too all it takes is to stay on the right track. Stay positive and fight through all the negativity. It worked for me and I felt totally hopeless.', 'Hey so how are you in a similar boat? How did things work out for you? ', 'How man so how are you doing?', 'Yeah the picture thing isnt good I just have no ring to offer. Ill try to come up with the best ringless proposal possible but I still have to get her to see me too. Thanks for the advice.Edit: Im not going to try proposing I think that would be a wrong move.']",Indicator
user-190,"['Thanks for that. Im in a similar situation to OP and have been really struggling with Suicidal thoughts. You have a gift for spreading hope through words, Im glad to have read this.', 'The person I talked to about it was my ex girlfriend. Long story but after I broke up with her in January, we were on and off for a little while, and I saw her the night before I left for a trip a couple weeks ago. My ex had changed her number, but knew what I was going through, and told me she would give me her new number when I got back if I agreed to get help. I had a lot of hope that things would work out between us, and I felt like breaking up with her was one of the biggest mistakes Id ever made. However when I was away, I emailed her, and could right away tell that something was wrong with her response. After I couple emails back and forth, her mostly just saying enjoy your vacation well talk when you get back, I confronted her and said I couldnt when something was so clearly up, and Id rather hear it then keep guessing what it could be. She told me she couldnt be anything but friends with me, and that seeing me before I went was a lapse in judgement that shouldnt have happened. I pretty much lost my shit, it was like my whole world collapsed in on itself. After a couple of emails back and forth, where I was in a really bad place, she promised me shed still see me to help me go see someone, and then after I kept trying to get her to talk to me, she said ""Goodbye KindOfPly"" and just stopped replying. She hasnt talked to me since, Ive emailed her a ridiculous number of times, when I got back this Asthenia I really wanted to just see her so I could hear it from her that it was over. I finally ended up calling her house and being told by her Mum that she didnt want to see or speak to me, and that I should be a man and stop contacting her. Pretty humiliating. I understand that seeing me makes it harder for her to move on and get on with her life, but at the same time Im completely heart broken, and I feel like shit knowing that my presence can fuck someones life up that much. I guess I cant really point to any one problem and say, ""there, thats the one that makes me want to end my life,"" but the situation with her is certainly one of them. She was the only person who I ever really felt like cared if I was alive or not, the only person I ever felt comfortable talking to, in a lot of ways she understood me better than I do, and now shes gone because I fucked up. Shes gotten over our relationship, and shes doing so much better now than she ever was with me. One of the things that stopped me from doing it yesterday was knowing shed probably feel guilty about ignoring me, but now I couldnt really care less.', 'If your husband has a hard time opening up, I imagine it was hard for him to admit to how he felt. Most men internalize these thoughts, hes probably been beating himself up for a long time over feeling that way. In going forward with your relationship you may have to tell him that while you are Pain, you appreciate him telling you. That will make it easier for him to communicate with you and for both of you to reach an understanding and conclusion. Good luck and stay strong, for yourself, your husband and your son. Remember that you are loved and needed by many people. ', 'Are you on medication for your Depression or seeing anyone? Also, if youre at immediate risk please consider checking yourself in to a psych ward. ', '17 m here. I totally hear you and understand what youre going through. I know how hard it is not being able to talk to your parents about this stuff. What you have to understand is that Depression is an Illness and cutting is just a coping method. I know what its like to need to feel that pain. Please check out the r/stopselfharm subreddit. I care about you and I want you to know that your parents love you, even though they dont understand. Killing yourself would not solve as much suffering in your life as it would inflict upon those who love you. Please find a way to get help, go see your therapist or find a new one if the old one didnt help. And talk to us, tell us whats going on. Were here for you, and its so important to talk about this stuff. ', 'Her mum isnt a dick, just looking out for her daughter. Shes doing a lot better now, and seeing and talking to me would just bring her down I guess.I ended things with her because the relationship wasnt really going anywhere, were Tired different people in a lot of ways, and we were both ""stuck"". I had hoped ending things would help me get out of that and find the motivation to better myself, but it just sent me into a total downward spiral. The funny thing is that shes doing way better now, promotion at work, gone back to therapy and got re diagnosed, on new meds that actually help her a lot, going to the gym and eating healthy, spends more time with her friends and shes going on a road trip soon.Right now I have a mix of feelings. One the one hand, Im full of Feeling angry and hatred for what I feel like she did to me, getting my hopes up and then just shutting me out. But on the other hand I really cant blame her, I ended things and started seeing somebody else (best friend who broke up with me just before I left, then told me she loved me, then started sleeping with someone else, then started doing blow again and now wont talk to me at all) and Im just really sad that shes gone forever.If she showed up at my door right now, I have no idea what Id do. I really wish I would stand up for myself and tell her how I feel about what she did and how soul crushing it was. But I would most likely wouldnt be able to say anything at all. If she was there to apologize, it would probably turn into another long talk, where I would ask her why she did what she did. If she was there to get angry at me for repeatedly trying to contact her and calling her house, Id tell her that she could have stopped me from doing so if she had the courage to see me when I got back and told me what was up, instead of ignoring me and making me have to hear it from her Mum.Relationship with my parents isnt terrible but isnt great. Were not Tired close at all and I dont really tell them anything. I could never imagine trying to tell them that Im Depression and Suicidal. My Dad doesnt believe in any kind of mental Illness, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety disorders, etc. He just believes its all in your head and some people feel sorry for themselves. I find it impossible to talk to my mother about anything, because she either wont listen to a differing opinion, or will see everything as her fault. I know me killing myself would Pain them a lot, and they dont deserve that, but I honestly do not have it in me to confront them at all.', 'Depression is a disease like any other, it sounds like you really need help, please go and see a different doctor, or see if there is a local mental health centre nearby? Where do you live?Why did you quit taking your medication?']",Ideation
user-191,"['I know I speak for most, if not all, the redditors here when I say; Tell me why you are feeling this way. We can do our best to help in any way. ', 'Im sad to hear someone else had to go through this pain. And glad at the same time to share it with someone else. I know its hard. And I truly dont want to be alone either. I dont want to be here missing the one person who was the only thing I had in the world. I dont know what else is left for me to care about. And that is what hurts the most, I just dont know what to do and dont care to do anything. Im sorry for your troubles my friend :(. I hope you find someone or maybe you find a way to is your troubles with the one you love. I wish I could save people from what I am going through.']",Supportive
user-192,"['Ive been hospitalized 3 times. Each time it has been just expensive babysitting. Im not putting myself though it again.', 'freeway overpasses here have mega high up fences ', 'Im just so unbelievably Depression and nothing is helping and I dont know what to do. :(I called my therapist yesterday and he was not helpful at all and now I dont even think I want to go to my next appointment.edit: i just left a voicemail canceling. I dont know if Ill go back at all', 'I called a hotline last night. Have done it lots of time. Its awkward as hell.I dont have friendsI dont want to bother you with IM ', 'Im such a dork. My suicide note is just a postit with my PGP password ', 'I have some really extreme issues with Delusional disorder when it comes to privacy about my mental health. I think I have pretty good reasons for this because Ive been Pain really badly before. I cant go into why specifically, but it really limits my ability to talk to anyone because I cant trust anyone. Support groups are way out.', 'It dosnt  have to go on though. I can kill myself instead', 'If I knew anyone who gave a shit do you think Id be posting about this on reddit?', 'I think Im okay for tonight. I cut a bit, but didnt OD on all the pills I have here. Super worn out going to sleep in a bit', 'Im not sure if your goal was to make yourself seem even crazier than me, but you seem to have succeeded.', 'I have a psychiatrist who I see for therapy.Ive seen more than 25 therapists in my lifetime.More therapist isnt going to help muchside note:Do you go to the arlington school? I know someone who used to go there ages ago.', 'other people are getting jobs so there must be something wrong with me which is causing me not to get them.', 'Sorry, Rather not say. Its one thats popular so I have a lot of job competition for a small number of entry level jobs. I will say though that I was not an English major and do actually have some concrete practical skills.', 'Didnt say being crazier than me was easy. ', 'been dealing with Depression as long as I can remember. Worked my butt off in school and the expensive of everything else. My school doesnt officially do class rank but as far as I can tell I am top of my class both in terms of in the field exp and gpa. Job situation is nonetheless bleak. I have no idea where I will be living next week. I poured all of my energy into building a good career foundation and it doesnt mean shit.', 'more apathy would probably just help me kill myself.']",Attempt
user-193,"['Dont feel guilty. Better than doing nothing, get someone(his family or a friend) to show him that he is cared for. If you get a chance you could go personally and help him. For now keep him encouraged. Try to cheer him up and distract him from these thoughts.', 'I understand how you feel. I also get such thoughts. If you need a friend, Ill be there for you(you can PM me). Dont waste yourself. You are a blessing to this world.Your family will feel Tired sad. BTW, its better you try taking that anti-depressing medication. Please throw away the gun. ', 'True. Everyone has a guardian angel. ']",Supportive
user-194,"['there is no magical words to make Feeling unhappy go away there is nothing i can say that will change your situation there are only actions you can take. wich actions? thats up to you. we are here for you', 'no there should not be more cuts. you are not a piece of shit. we are human beings we have good and bad and all the other shades of grey in between you should improve yourself stop valuing yourself throug other people eyes and be the best you can be.', 'we are here for you.', 'it Pain me to not have the answer i mean thats what life is about right? finding the answer', 'try to get profeccional help thats the only way out of the Feeling unhappy i know of', 'are you still here?', 'i know from experience that there is']",Indicator
user-195,"['>I dont know you or your situation but I invite you to consider whether your family would be sad, confused, angry, and devastated if you were to end your own lifeWhat family? My workaholic father that has no time for me, or my mother thats dying of Malignant neoplastic disease and Bed-ridden more days than not? OH or how about my siblings that were all adopted at or near birth so they never grew up with me so they have no attachment to me.I hate to be a negative nancy, and I know it sounds like Im shooting you down for trying to help... to be honest i appreciate the attempt.. but mentioning friends/family just reminds me how alone I really am.', '>Im terribly sorry youve gotten such horrible SW hotline connections. They should not be working at that job if theyre making comments like that.Well, in his defense, maybe he was trying reverse psychology?? By ordering me to do it, he expected me to say ""NO FUCK YOU I DONT WANNA DIE!!"" ... but no, I told him hes a fucking asshole and hung up on him.>You are needed. Even if right now it seems like you arent, they still love you and want you. They just dont see you that often- which doesnt indicate a lack of love or appreciation.Incorrect. I dont even know most of my family. Never met family on my dads side and the only people I interact with on my moms side is my mom.. and shes dying of Malignant neoplastic disease and will be gone soon anyway.>Maybe take some vacation time off soon and just move home for a week- be surrounded by those who love you.I thought about that, but the best I could do would be to see my dad.. and he works ALL THE TIME. Even when hes home, hes not really there because hes in his office, working his life away. His wife and stepson are there, but they dont really know me (they all met after I had long moved out of the house), so Id be in my dads house.. but not really ""home"" if that means anything.', 'He said Im not ""bad enough"" for FMLA because Im only entertaining Suicidal ideation, not sitting here, blade in hand about to actually do it.He doesnt want to change medications yet, but he thinks the problem is that I havent seen my therapist in several weeks so I havent had anybody to talk to so Ive just been bottling stuff in and THATS why I feel so much like crap right now.Maybe hes right. Maybe I should make an appointment with my therapist again, now that I have a regular work schedule.', 'appointment made. i finally have a goal -- survive the next week.', 'Sadly Im waaaaaay too ADD for meditation. Ive tried it so many times and I always either fall asleep, or catch a particularly distracting thought and chase it to see where it leads.I have found, however, that CREATING calms me. Ive been making a scrapbook, creating my first AMV, decorating my apartment. Somehow, just the act of creating seems to put the destroying tendencies at bay.', '>They wont be better off without you.They really are. My therapist and I have discussed it. Im toxic to people around me. I Pain them without meaning to, I drag them into my world. Letting them free to be happy, to not have to be around me, thats the best thing I can do, over and over. Ive finally given up both on dating and on trying to maintain any sort of a really close friendship. I just work, play video games, and focus on my schoolwork. It keeps my days fairly busy, if nothing else.', 'Ive only been using pot to sleep. Doctors got me on Deseril for sleep now.', '>I also visited therapists, got prescribed meds, all kinds of stuffThe thing is, it DID help until situational factors came crashing down on me. I lost my best friend (his wife thinks Im trying to steal him away from her -- im not -- but she still doesnt trust me) and the only people I could ever lean on for Emotional upset support at work (which is where the friend and I know each other) now sit on the other side of the building from me. I sit there listening to music in one ear and taking calls in the other. I dont even have a reason to sign into the corporate messenger program anymore -- theres nobody that wants/needs to talk to me... and all this is after just one day of being moved. I was fine with the breakups I was going through (yes, two of them. guh.), fine with the car problems and the not having the money to go visit my mom like I had planned (she lives in Europe, Im in the U.S.), even fine with the fact that my stats at work are shit and I may be fired soon and fine with the fact that I may lose my scholarships for next semester because I ended up saying ""fuck it"" and just stopped doing my homework assignments.... but.. well... then this other stuff came out of the woodwork and I, for lack of a better term, snapped. More and more and more just keeps piling on me.Its worse late at night. I cant play video games, watch tv, read, listen to music, nothing. I sit there for hours, just sobbing. Thats when it scares me the most.. when I can do nothing but think about all the things that have gone wrong, and couldnt find a way to distract myself if my life depended on it.. and I Fear that one night soon, it just might.Thus far, at least, Ive eventually managed to just end up Crying so much that my body gives up and I fall asleep. Last time I was this bad, that phase went away eventually and then I couldnt even sleep .. but then again I do have the Deseril now.. so .. well see..', 'Im meeting with my psychiatrist in 20mins to discuss changing medications, and the possibility of getting FMLA from work so I can be hospitalized without losing my job.']",Behavior
user-196,"['Well, I dont know what else to say.  I appreciate your attempt in this thread, I guess.  The outcome was expected.  ', 'Ive Googled and considered jelqing, but I just dont give a fuck.  Suicide is so much easier.', 'Dont want help, just want to be dead', 'Well I dont want it.  Speak for yourself.', 'Yes, the family shit, I get it.  I already knew this.I dont care what Ill miss out on.  I wont be alive to experience the missing.  Nothing matters.  ', 'Yep, eventually.  Seems you given up on me, because Im right.  The things listed are more than enough to warrant a suicide.  Funny, some of the worst things arent even listed.  ', 'It passes the time... by why exist just to pass the time?  Ive had these feelings for 7 years so theyve just become normal.  The reasons listed absolutely merit a suicide.  And I dont want help because I dont want to be happy, I just want to be dead.', 'Theres far more negative in the world than positive.  How can I be happy knowing there is so much Pain and suffering going on?  Some people can, but I cant.  Im not that selfish, which is the only reason Im still alive.  I dont want to put my parents through that.  So Im forced to live this existence that I was forced into.  Fuck this.  Theyll probably fuck up the ui even worse.  (Borderlands is a great series though).  But if I was only living to see Borderlands 3... thats pathetic and Id definitely rather be dead.', 'Ah, yes, the old suicide is a Injury of muscle solution to a temporary problem thing.  Im looking for a Injury of muscle solution, suicide it is. No I have no one to talk to, and I dont want to.As I said in the original post, I dont want to change.  Suicide is just so much easier.  ', 'I dont give a fuck about video games or movies.  I will never have amazing sex because my penis is TINY.  Im not here for a reason and I have no purpose, just like every single person on this planet.  ', 'Ive already replied to a similar comment in this thread.  I dont give a fuck about any of that.', 'They are, especially combined.  ESPECIALLY my tiny penis.', 'No hope if I kill myself?  No shit, Id be dead.  This is a decision Ive basically concluded.  The real question is when.  ', 'Nope, I posted this thread to prove no one could give me reasons, because there are none.  So far so good.  Ill dispute any reason given.  ', 'I suppose its not the ONLY thing... Theres more to life than sex, big its a big part, and I dont have a big part.  Just combined with everything else on the list.  Im short, so when Im next to other taller dudes I just feel like a pussy child.  If you think Im trolling feel free to stop posting.  ', 'Because I can never end all Pain, helping some just isnt enough for me.  And this is only one reason... not even the most important reason for me wanting to kill myself.', 'When Im dead it really wont matter what my parents feel, but Im alive right now and I know if I kill myself they will be destroyed, and I dont want them to be destroyed.  I dont want to end my life because Im bored, but because Im boring.  I dont want to have fun.  I want to sit at home and do nothing.  Happiness makes me sick.  I want to kill myself because of all the Pain and suffering around the world that I cant do anything about.  There will always be Pain and suffering and I cant take that.  So Im trapped.  If I kill myself I bring Pain and suffering to my family.  If I dont kill myself I sit idly by while Pain and suffering is happening everywhere in the world.  Im trapped in this miserable, forced existence.    ', 'Im aware I could give pro oral, but if I cant make my woman orgasm with my penis, I dont want to live.', 'Ive smoked weed almost everyday for 4 years.  Ive never considered myself a heavy user because though I smoke about everyday, I dont smoke a lot (maybe a bowl or 2).  Recently since the Depression has gotten worse Ive been smoking less.  Cashews are good.  ', 'I do feel alive, thats the problem.', 'barley 3 inches long.  about 3.5 inches girth.  I dont want a giant porn star dick (okay that would be nice, I suppose), but I just want to be average.', 'I would like to have a wife, but that cant happen because:My dick is really tinyI could never constrain a woman down to me knowing my penis is tiny and it will never satisfy herIm not willing to put in the workUltimately nothing matters so fuck itSuicide is easy']",Behavior
user-197,"['Youve nowhere to go? Absolutely nowhere? No friend, relative, shelter, hotel?I find that extremely hard to believe. Maybe you just need to ask. An why will you be jobless?', 'I also checked out some of your other submissions, they were funny and thought provoking. So if nothing else--and there will be something else--reddit will be missing you.', 'if you havent lived there long, is there any chance of getting back home? and why will you be jobless?', 'Even so, the only way to go now is up. Plenty of people have been in far worse situations than you. Dont make a decision you cant take back in your darkest hour. In a few years, or months even, you could be looking back at this and thanking your lucky stars you didnt do it. There are people who care about you. Even if there werent, you can make people care about you. ', 'You have plenty of time to find someone wh loves you.How many people go their whole life without finding a suitable partner?There are 6 billion+ people in the world. some of them will reach out to you, some are shy and need you to move first.Life can be good. Theres too much to miss by comitting suicide. the world will always be missing that something--whatever it is--that you could have provided. And that person that you are meant for will never find you.', 'We cant be sure about whats on the ""other side,"" but we can clearly see and feel the incredible things in life. Think of all the good books you will never be able to read, the artwork yet to be created. Maybe theres a song out there to change your view of the world. When you think about it, the fact that you exist is really an accident. Take advantage of it.Everyone finds a place in life where they belong, or at least dont stick out too much. You have no idea how radically different some places are. Remember that every dream is in the realm of possibility, or we would still be killing wild animals with sticks and stones. There is someone out there right for you, its statistically impossible not to be. >I know that killing myself wont help, but I still want to.Please, please use logic. Logic is one of the greatest gifts we have available. If you know suicide wont help, and I know that other things willl, dont do it.>Nobody understands the crippling sense of completely point blank worthlessness.Thats a simple, sad fact of life.  Every person has a mystery inside them, a darkness that can never be unlocked. A big part of life is overcoming this: *that* is what allows us to feel pleasure. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said: ""All great people are misunderstood.""And remember that while the earth is slowly comitting suicide, we can help prevent it, or slow it down. The fact is that the human race can survive and progress for thousands of years after each of us dies, but we **all** have to contribute to make it this way. Be the change you want to see in the world.Please, dont kill yourself.', 'If you have friends and family, you shouldnt ever be homeless. Just because its bad now doesnt mean it wont get better.', 'You sound like a modern-day transcendentalist. Simplicity, simplicity. Also, this is great advice to everyone on here: Adventure over suicide.', 'Ill share a personal fact with you. I am an upper-middle class high schooler from the midwest of the U.S. I get everything I need, and some things that I just want. I am healthy, happy, and mentally competent.However, my 20 year old brother has a different story.His mother was a prostitute, and he suffered developmental problems in the womb. He was abused severely after he was born.My parents adopted him at the age of 1 and 1/2. Years later it became apparent how abnormal he was. Its nearly impossible for him to make friends, hes selfish, and just basically an outcast in life. He has severe frontal lobe damage, affecting his control of impulse, and hes been diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar disorder.And yet, hes one of the happiest kids I know. He messes up a lot, true. But he can always bounce back. Hes made one or two good friends, and he has parents that tolerate and even love him.He matures slowly, but I have hope for him.Do you live with your parents? If you do, try reaching out to them. If you dont have that type of relationship, turn to your friends. If thats also a flop...books are what I would suggest. Just stick it out until you can get your own place. Then get a dog. Theres nothing better to prove that love is real, or make you feel that you belong, than a dog.Our lives are short enough as they are. We should, if anything, try to extend them, to experience as much as we can.']",Indicator
user-198,"['There are so many alternative treatments you could try.  Doctors are not Gods.  People recover from ""terminal"" cancers all the time.  There have been cases where people with terminal Malignant neoplastic disease caught a virus and ran a high temp and it killed their Malignant neoplastic disease.  Do a google search on GLP.  Go there and search on Malignant neoplastic disease and start reading the threads.  Try the alternative treatments.  ']",Supportive
user-199,"['I dunno. Im bad at this stuff. I suppose I think that living is interesting. Im curious to see how everything turns out, and Im not content to just be a spectator watching from the sidelines. I will certainly die some day, some how, but thats not something I really care about. I remember many years ago reading an obituary in a news paper about some random guys life. I dont know anything about this guy, but I did read about his life adventures. He joined some revolutionary war somewhere near Spain and fought in it. Think about that from his perspective. You dont know how that fight is going to end up, but you have such strong convictions one way or another that youll stand up and fight for them, whatever they are. He felt so strongly! And he boldly went into the mysterious unknown to fight in a war, against the government, in which he could Tired well lose and die in. One night, he also finds himself on a ship which is sinking into the ocean. This ship is no less than two miles from shore and there are no life rafts, so this guy *jumps into the black water and swims two miles to shore*. What an adventure!!! I wonder if I could even do that? How did he avoid hypothermia and exhaustion? I can only imagine what must have gone through his head at the time. I can barely remember any other details, but this guy lived such a rich life that Id be happy to live even 10% of his rich and colored adventures. I felt super inspired by him and decided to try my best at it. Living a good life isnt about dying well at the end, its about trying to find the most amazing adventures you can possibly have. Death is a bit irrelevant, actually (and probably boring). Nobody can change that inevitability, but everyone can control all the parts that happen before death. So, Ive made it a habit of mine to look for ways to make the day interesting -- to only me! Yes, its a bit selfish. So what? I dont care about what interests other people, or what other people say should interest me. Im going to be a stubborn bastard and tell those preconceptions and prejudices to just fuck off, Im doing my own thing and Im gonna be happy with it, even if its something as dumb/fascinating as watching how crabs manage to cling onto rocks when huge waves crash on them, and then frantically scrabble around collecting food bits between waves... its a desperate struggle for survival happening every 10 seconds... and then I watch that for an hour. Let people judge me. So what do I care? I do have some personal preferences on how I like to live my life which other people find irritating because its not similar to their expectations of living well -- like I always tell people exactly the truth, no varnish and flowery words to dress it up into something its not. ""Heres the truth, if you cant handle it, its not my problem."" I have a finite amount of life time in my life and I have zero interest in filling it with people I have no interest in associating with. That may include close family members, and its unfortunate, but so be it. I spend 95% of my day by myself, writing code and doing math for a personal passion project. Im happy with that, and there are so many fascinating things to discover in that process. Like for instance, last Asthenia I decided I would try to simulate clouds for the first time and try to draw them as they appear in reality. Its surprisingly hard! How do they form into those cloud shapes?! And did you know that clouds self-shadow themselves?! And how when the sun is near or below the horizon, how the underside of the clouds gets illuminated by orange sunlight? I had seen hundreds of sunsets before and they all looked the same to me, but once I had started trying to make my own sunsets in a computer program, I gained a new-found perspective on just how amazingly beautifully a real life sunset looks (theres a ton of research papers and mathematics which tries to perfectly simulate it, and thats all super fascinating as well since they all get close and really good results). Then the scientist part of me starts to ask interesting questions... what if I can perfectly simulate a real life sunset on Earth, and then I tweak a bunch of variables, such as the type of air molecules and density (which drives diffraction and absorption of light), what would THAT sunset look like? What would clouds look like with different atmospheric conditions? What if I add another sun to create a binary star system?! Or multiple moons in different phases with various illumination intensities?! Or maybe put a ring around the planet? Oh god, what kind of amazing art can I create with all of this?! What would a sunset look like on Mars? (also, did you know that the sun turns blue on mars during the sunset?!)There is just way way way way too much fascinating, interesting stuff to learn about and study. I wish I had more life time, even though Im still a bit young in life. I hope that you can wake up tomorrow morning with a bit more energy and a spark of passion to look for things that amaze and awe you too, whatever they may be... It just occurred to me that you may *sincerely believe* you dont have any passions or interests, and you may say that with strong insistence, but the truth is that its a logical fallacy which plays on your ignorance of all the things you havent explored, tried or even thought of yet. How can you know all of what youll like and not like if you dont know everything thats out there or will be out there in the future? Happiness is one of those really weird things which doesnt follow a formula. Nobody can say, ""Do XYZ, then youll be happy!"". Thats not how it works. Happiness is one of those things which is never acquired when you try to intentionally acquire it, but it comes in the back door like a stealthy ninja when youre focused on doing something else. And suddenly, without realizing it, you have it. And if you look for it, it goes away like a dream in the morning.']",Ideation
user-200,"['Brother killed himself in june. Dont tell me how much it will Pain my family. You have no idea.', 'http://imgur.com/bAhLiZPThing is, I have at least a day. Either way. Guns are for pussies. Going to bed with some oxy. Fuck it.']",Behavior
user-201,"['yeah soon as I get my new PC Ill give you my B tag', 'What doesnt help is I was talking to another girl who is either Tired nice to extremely angry and will go without responding for days. Its really toxic to my life but I dont want to be alone. Ive already brought my exfiance up to friends and family I am sure they are Illness of hearing it. I just want to be alone for xmss', 'Positivity has never been a strong suit. My two hobbies are oolar opposites which is gaming and lifting weights.', 'Ive contacted a friend but most as they dont really get much out of her and last time I said something to her mom I was told I shouldnt go behind her back to her mother', 'Thank you if I stick around ill keep you guys updated it helps to know Im not alone but it doesnt stop the thoughts sadly', 'Ha I do that I normally do sets of 50 in between battlegrounds or matches but I dont really have it in me atm', 'No real passions I burn out on things I like quickly and I have no idea how to answer the rest without negativity lets just say I wish I was born when gladiators were around. Atleast I could die with dignity', 'Thank you. I workout everyday but its the loneliness of the night that rapes my mental state. What makes it worse was I started having Asthenia long panic attacks the month before I got meds but after she left the only way I can describe it is I am just Tired. ..really really Tired of thinking ', 'Trust me ive tried and I appreciate it ive only gad one serious sucide scare after a bottle of crown made my anti depressant meds mess up. Funny enough the breakdown happened while on the toilet so I was a sobbing mess. Drunk calling people while pooping. As for being happy with myself odds are wont happen. Ive hated me since I was six. Even got in really good shape recently doesnt help', 'I spilled jack daniels on my harddrive though :(', 'Sure I play a bit of everything wow. Lol. Smite ill have a new one in a Asthenia or so', 'Bleeding hollow. Horde', 'Me either im in a really good guild as well', 'I told them I have no idea if anything was done. She wont take birthcontrol which the doctor suggested and anti depressant she refuses. And no therapy either.']",Ideation
user-202,"['Im all ears. Whats your life like?Have you got a history of depression? Is this the first time youve thought about killing yourself?Just let it all out.', 'Thats hard to hear. Have you spoken to a therapist about this? Its going to take time, but their is still so much worth living for. There are people youve never met yet, and adventures still to be had. Its not over yet.Also science and technology is progressing. Im not saying they will find a magical cure, but medicine may be found to make this all more bearable. Suicide is just never worth it. ', 'Care to elaborate on how youve screwed up?Youre only human, so inherently youre not perfect. Thats okay. These fuck-ups in life make us more wise in the future, its not worth giving up on yourself just yet.']",Supportive
user-203,"['Dont frame it as six years ruined.  During that time you shared a lot of life, laughs and love.  If you reflect on it you can learn from it and youll be a better man for it.', 'Can you call child protective services without him knowing?  Do you feel that you are in danger?  Can you call your dad?', 'Thats probably decent advice for a Tired small fraction of people suffering from mild Depression, but like most people, youve oversimplified and diminished the problem.  A severely Depression person such as those posting here about suicide and lack of interest in life are not going to be pulled out of it by getting a little sun.  Depression is a Tired serious problem and it needs serious treatment.', 'You dont really need to explain the details of your condition.  You need only explain that in consultation with your physician, you feel you need some time to attend to your health.  The kids deserve a teacher that can be fully engaged and youd like to step aside until you can be that kind of teacher again.  How does that sound?', 'Psychosis ... it refers to the intensity of your episodes ', 'Unfortunately, its circular.  I have successfully pulled myself out of Depression with exercise and healthy living only to fall back into it after an injury.  Its a vicious cycle.  At this point, Im so deep in the morass that I cant see a way out without significant professional help.', 'Ive read your letter and Ive read through your posts.  I know youve said your parents wont help because of their rule, but have you asked them?  I realize its hard to ask for help, but shit happens.  They are your parents and whether you realize or not, that bond never dies.  If nothing else you need to understand the impact that suicide has on those you leave behind, including your dog.  If asking for help is what you need to do to save yourself, then thats what you need to do.  If they say no, then turn to someone else, an aunt, uncle, cousin, neighbor.  Someone who knows and loves you will step up and help.  You have more options than you think.', 'Most overdoses are unsuccessful.  It will just make you really sick, damage your liver but probably wont kill you.  Take a deep breath.  Whatever is really bothering you isnt worth dying over.  If theres one person that loves you, go to them.  Imagine how much Pain they will feel for not knowing, for not being there for you and for not stopping a senseless death.', 'Ive suffered from Depression from a Tired young age brought about by some serious life events.  I witnessed the accidental death of my stepfather three weeks after he married my mother.  I got Malignant neoplastic disease when I was 16 and went through a year of treatment.  When I was 25 I broke my neck and fractured my skull in a car accident.  Ever since Ive lived with chronic Pain which makes the Depression severe.  I nearly lost my left leg in a fall when I was 40 and have had two surgeries which has left me with more chronic Pain.  A couple years ago I was living in NYC, had some financial setbacks and left for a small town in North Carolina to regroup.  I met a guy (Im gay) half my age and thought it would be fun and casual, but I fell in love with him.  Now hes graduating from college and leaving for grad school.  Im facing some serious legal problems and my health is failing.  I feel so empty and just cant take the Pain anymore.  Its all too much.', 'i suffer with severe chronic Pain.  Ive been back to doctors to find the cause and get me fixed but nothing has come up yet except a new problem.  An MRI of my spine revealed potential cancerous tumors. It just keeps getting worse, but Im still hanging on.  You gotta find your strength and if you cant, there are ways out that are mostly painless and quick.  Just make sure you give it a lot of thought.  Its not something you can change your mind about.', 'An extremely Pain way to kill yourself, it will take as many as 72 hrs for a person of average weight to die this way', 'Suicidepreventionhotline.orgThere is always someone who will listen.', 'I suffer from Depression and have for a Tired long time.  Ive also always had an appreciation for art.  Ive got a small collection but have never really tried to express myself through art and think it might be a great way to ""free"" myself. Good job!', 'Rules prevent us from suggesting methods, but a little internet searching will lead you in the right direction.  People come here for support, not instructions.  I know its hard to keep going on.  Im near the end too but have been waiting for my partner to leave me, which hes doing soon.  Once hes gone, Ive got to make sure my dogs are safe, then I will do it.  Its pretty much set.  There is a Tired slim chance that I can get a normal life again, but Im not confident.  Its gonna Pain a few people, but most wont even blink.', 'Youve got to discover a passion and follow a path to it.  It may mean skipping college altogether, but Depression isnt going to be aided in a fruitless pursuit of a degree that doesnt matter to you.  Ive lived my entire adult life Depression, with no passion and no purpose in my life.  I think thats begun to change and it may just be my way out of this.  It may be time to tell my story as a means to help other people avoid all that Ive been through, to find their way out of Depression and in the process find the purpose in my life.  You are young, put down your phone, get off the computer, turn off the TV and find a purpose for your life.  It may just save your life.', 'Based on what youve written, Im assuming the crash was your fault.  If so, you need to accept responsibility for it in your mind.  Admit to yourself that you screwed up, shouldnt have been speeding or whatever.  Your fathers reaction is natural, but its likely simply disappointment that hes feeling, not Feeling angry.  He should probably in therapy too.  What youre feeling are symptoms of Depression and should not be unexpected under the circumstances.  Your girlfriend issue is also wrapped up in it.  She may be suffering from some Pain from her injury and her own guilt issues.  You are so young dude, the best thing for you to do is focus on the future.  Work on your studies and on yourself, youll come out of this just fine.', 'What do you hate about showering?  I can skip a day if Im not doing anything, but a week?  ', 'I certainly dont want to make you feel worse.  Im just trying to identify potential issues.  If it isnt a self confidence problem and youre happy with who you are and what youre doing, then its possible youre just not meeting the right type of woman.  Attraction and compatibility arent always easy to understand.  To be perfectly honest, Im gay, so I cant pretend to understand women.  It sounds to me like youre doing everything right, youre trying but not getting the results you want.  How are you meeting the women that youve dated?', 'Ive done that.  Its weird, but I think it helps.  I would never leave a note, but Ive hidden my struggles from friends and family and I think they need to know what Ive been through.', 'Ive been severely Depression for many years.  Your comments ring so true.  I always put others first and keep my struggles locked up inside.  I dont want to be the burden.  Most people have no idea what Ive been through and what it takes to just get out of the bed every morning.  ', 'Wow, thats quite a dilemma.  As someone who has done a lot of recruiting and hiring, I can tell you that hiring managers today, especially in IT, dont care so much about a college degree.  There is a lot more to college than the degree and that would be my concern for you.  What you will learn in this job would be much more valuable than your degree to an employer.  College is a time of transition, to help bridge the gap between under your parents wing to flying on your own.  So, the question is, do you think youre ready to fly?  Accepting the internship will answer that question.  You dont have to make the big decision now.  Its an amazing opportunity to get a head start.', 'Ive been a user/abuser of weed and alcohol for as long as I can remember, but my Depression is mostly related to some long-term chronic Pain.  The weed and booze helped me with the Pain but pushed me deeper into Depression.  Im off the weed and booze but the Pain is becoming unbearable and thus the Depression is pulling me down.  I cant win.', 'I think making that effort is a great.  Please follow through with it, even if progress is slow, keep going.  Demonstrating that youre serious about getting back to normal will make a difference.  Those are things I didnt do which might have saved me.', '(Hug)  guys need physical comfort too, its a human condition, not limited to one sex or the other.  I find helping others helps me too, I think its a natural response and it helps me see that my problems, while severe, are not the end of the world.  ', 'Dont be ashamed or embarrassed to tell someone youre Depression.  Its true that a lot of people dont take Depression seriously and part of the reason is that more people dont talk about their Depression.  Tell someone you trust, a school counselor or call a hotline.  Depression can be Tired serious.  ', 'I was on Cymbalta for a while.  One of the driving factors behind my Depression is chronic Pain and Cymbalta is indicated for that.  At first, I thought it was helping.  Some other things contributing to my Depression got worse and then I fell off a house and shattered my leg, nearly loosing it.  My doctor doubled my dosage and added another drug, Lyrica, to combat some new nerve Pain in my rebuilt leg.  Within a few weeks I started to feel Numbness which I thought was better than Depression, but it was really just hiding behind a fog.  Things got a lot worse, but I kept taking the meds.  I started having Suicidal thoughts but by this time my doctor had left the practice and taken some time off.  I moved to NYC hoping the change would be good.  Cut to me standing on the ledge of my 21st floor apartment looking down on 6th Avenue imagining what it would feel like to hit the pavement.  I couldnt do it (obviously) and the next morning I flushed the pills.  Im still deeply Depression and in a lot of Pain, but Im not in a fog anymore and I can think clearly.  The moral of the story is that the drugs dont always work for everyone, you have to be Tired careful and see your doctor regularly.', 'I want you to know first that your experience is not unique; you are not alone.  Ive suffered with chronic Pain for most of my adult life.  I was in a bad car accident which the experts said I should not have survived.  I broke my neck in two places, fractured my skull and had gashes all over my body.  Miraculously, I walked out of the hospital seven days later.  The Pain is permanent, gets worse as I age and causes severe Depression.  It has affected both serious relationships Ive had.  Five years back I fell off the roof of a house I was building and shattered my left leg.  The first surgery failed and I couldnt bring myself to go through with it again, so I just pushed through it, ultimately causing even more damage.  I was in Excruciating Pain Pain and so Depression I could barely function.  My partner wanted to be supportive but he didnt know how.  I tried not to bother him with how bad off I was, but it still affected him and our relationship collapsed under the pressure.  He finally ended it just a few weeks before I was scheduled to have another surgery to fix the leg.  I had tried so hard to spare him from worrying about my Pain that I caused him Pain and the relationship couldnt be saved.  The point of this reply is for you to understand how your Emotional upset state is affecting your fianc\xc3\xa9 and the relationship you have with her.  Your Feeling angry is a defensive response to everything thats happened and you need to get it under control.  You need to open up to her, tell her that youre hurting, that you need her support and you want to be supportive to her.  Get some therapy and do the things that will demonstrate to her, and her family, that you want to get back to where you were.  Youre not Suicidal, youre hurting, and thats okay.  It can get better if you let it.  ', 'I will never underestimate someone with Suicidal thoughts, but Im gonna have to confirm one thing you noted in your post.  Youre Tired young and considering suicide over a high school girlfriend?  Dude, your brain isnt even fully developed, you havent stopped growing and Im assuming you havent even had sex yet.  You are far too young to be in such despair.  And by the way, youve got a crush on the same guy she does.  What does that tell you?  It tells me youre not even sure what youre upset about.  Are you jealous of him or of her?  Maybe you should figure these things out before contemplating suicide on any serious level.', 'You can and should tell someone.  It doesnt have to be someone you know, just someone who is willing to listen.  It does help to at least get it off your chest.  Depression doesnt get better by itself.', 'Based on what youve shared, Id say without hesitation that youre suffering from some sort of Depression.  Depression robs you of motivation, energy and desire.  It can also cause you to lose your sense of attachment to those you care about, leaving you practically emotionless.  If you dont seek some help it will only get worse.  ', 'The first few years I was just thankful to be alive, so yeah, i went on with a regular daily life.  As Ive aged, its all gotten worse, but there have been a few periods when things were decent.  I became dependent on alcohol to Numbness the Pain.  The last 9 yrs or so have been dicey, Ive had difficulty working, enjoying life, etc.  Its killed relationships with my ex, my family and friends.  I was medicated for a while, but lived in a fog and at one point stepped onto the ledge of my 21st floor apartment, but couldnt do it.  I stopped the meds and the fog cleared, but the Pain was worse than ever.  its one day at a time now, incredibly hard to keep going but I do it for the sake of others.', 'I read one piece calling it ""psychotic Depression"" which is a new one on me.  The stigma associated with ""Depression"" is perpetuated at every level of society.  Unless you suffer from it or study it, no one takes it seriously.', 'Whether you realize it or not, not eating is making your Depression worse.  It is damaging to your health but is a horrible way to die.  Get some help and dont let these haters get you further down.  They dont understand.', 'I read what the other person said about your situation and it breaks my heart.  I hope you dont give up on yourself.', 'It is true that many anti-depressants carry the side effect of Suicidal thoughts.  Make sure your doctor is aware of your concern.  There are many options available.  ', 'If you want to get through it without outside help, youre going to first have to understand the source of the Depression.  Whatever that issue is must be addressed to truly pull yourself out of Depression.  Some people have success with meds and therapy, though those things arent always silver bullets.  As your Depression deepens, you will begin to isolate and push more people away.  It can be horribly progressive.', 'I wouldnt care if a stranger or casual acquaintance found me, but I just couldnt do that to a loved one.  ', 'Thanks for your reply.  I appreciate the kind thoughts.  He says he loves me, but hes also said in the past that hes not in love with me, so I dont really know.  Unfortunately, I cant really make any plans to move anywhere until my legal issues are worked out.  Im pretty sure he would be happy to have me around, but Im not sure that our relationship would be the same.  I would definitely consider moving there (Denver) regardless of our relationship status, but it could weird and then what?  So, I dont have a lot of answers and that just makes the Depression worse.  I guess Ive had a few brief bright spots in my life, but I dont think my Depression has ever been in remission.  Ive been in constant physical Pain which just gets worse the older I get and no one has ever been able to effectively treat it or offer me any hope.  Things just keep getting worse and worse and I have nothing to look forward to, no hope, no purpose.  ', 'Most attempted drug overdoses fail miserably, especially when they are half-hearted ', 'He cant be that far away.  Go find him.  Accept it but forgive yourself.  ', 'Great.  Then just relax.  Stay out of that guys way, youll be fine.', 'Totally me ... if Im awake, Im reading news, on Reddit, reading news or on Reddit, watching porn, reading news, Reddit.  The TV is always on, but I dont really watch it, its not enough a distraction.  Im always looking for something to get my mind off thinking about my problems.', 'I can relate to the getting out of bed thing.  Its hard some days.  I have dogs, so I kind of have to get up and take care of them.  But I do like being clean, so showering is a must for me.', 'Depression among the military is unfortunately not at all uncommon, especially on deployment away from friends and family.  The sacrifices you make are so great and you deserve better support.  if I can understand that but your wife cant, you are better off without her.  You brother is your blood and no matter how distant you have become, you should reach out to him.  Dont give up hope man, sometimes its all we have, but it can be enough.', 'That combination of OTC pills would never kill a person.  In fact almost all attempts to overdose fail miserably often leaving a person with long term disabilities but Tired much alive.  It was a half-hearted effort which means you dont want to die.  Talk to your doctor.', 'Youre too young to be thinking about having a long-term relationship, but its great that you know what you want.  To illustrate my point, I did a little research.  Less than 2% of all marriages are between high school sweethearts and among those who marry before the age of 25, 54% end in divorce.  The odds of you and a high school sweetheart going the distance are Tired slim.  You should focus on getting over this, finishing school and getting on with your life.  If this girl is really the one for you, she will come back to you.', 'For a lot of people Depression is episodic, meaning that it will go away.  You can tie your Depression to a specific thing and you have three Tired good reasons to find your way out of it.  You first need to understand that your wife leaving likely wasnt about you, it was about her.  She didnt just leave you, she left the kids too.  You may feel alone, overwhelmed and maybe even guilty, but it isnt your fault.  You need to do something for yourself.  Get a sitter and go do something you love, make some new friends and begin to feel better about yourself.  Go back to work before you get fired which will just make matters worse.  Youve got to do this for yourself and for your kids, you owe them that.', 'I always think they are looking for that ""Freudian Slip"" where the patient essentially finds his own answer.  If I go to somone who calls himself a doctor and charges $250 an hour, I kind of expect him to come up with the answer.', 'Bend over ... but seriously, what is it thats driving your Depression?', 'Yes, it can cycle up and down.  At your age, your brain is still developing, so its actually kind of important that you tell someone who will take it seriously.  You could have a diagnosable condition that could be treated.  If it goes untreated, it can get worse.', 'Its Major Depressive Affective Disorder, With Recurring Episodes of Moderate Severity ... in other words, you have diagnosed clinical Depression which occurs with regular frequency of moderate (not severe) intensity ... I have the same thing with severe intensity ', 'People come here for support, not instructions.  Ive done the research and decided on the method I intend to use which is mostly painless, but it will still require courage.  Things are rough for me too and Im pretty close to the end, but that final decision is still going to be hard because while my life sucks, theres a chance it could still improve, and thats called hope.  ', 'Unfortunately, keeping things to ourselves is part of Depression.  We dont want to be a burden, dont want our loved ones to worry, etc.  Feel free to PM me.', 'Dont let this get to you.  You know what youre doing and you need to remember that.  Youre new in the job and the low man on the totem pole, which can be intimidating.  Everybody has a bad day now and then.  Muster your confidence, go in there tomorrow and kick ass.', 'I havent cried in response to my Depression for many years.  I occasionally well up, feeling that tears will start to flow any second, but they dont come.  I think it would be a relief, but I cant.  I can cry at films, from reading sad stories, for others but not for myself.', 'Youre going to have to accept that the crash has changed things for you, but that doesnt mean life will be miserable forever.  Things will get better, you need to believe that.  There will be other girlfriends, there will be laughter, there will be love and in that, is life.', 'There is more to life than one love, one relationship ... it may not have worked out this time, but that doesnt mean its over for you.  Give it some time, things will get better.', 'I guess I like to be clean for myself, whether Im seeing anyone or not.  Thats probably where you need start.  You need to be treating yourself better for you.', 'Pick up the phone.  Tell someone youre hurting.  Get it off your chest.  Its always darkest before the dawn.', 'Depression can definitely impact your sex drive as well as many aspects of your life.  Depression killed my last relationship because we failed to communicate with each other about the impact my Illness was having on us.  Talk to your doctor about the sexual side effects which can be counteracted with meds.  Talk to your girlfriend and acknowledge the issue.  Work through it together, spice things up and itll work out.', 'Its not Suicidal ideation.  Ideation is more about recommendation and encouragement of the act which you arent doing.', 'Support from others is great, but it cant replace the support that only you can give.  If you feel youve done everything you can and perhaps dont see her trying hard enough, then it may be time to make the call.  You obviously cant let her drag you down with her.  Its hard from my perspective to say how long you should keep trying, but I think you will know or maybe you already do.  I am naturally empathetic with her position but I acknowledge that you deserve to be happy too.  Good luck to you both.', 'This may not be particularly helpful, but you need to be good enough for yourself first.  Being a person who is also deeply Depression, its hard to give advice, but the one thing I know is that Im good enough for me and thats what matters.  It certainly hasnt been enough to lift me out of the dumps, but its something that keeps me from being a statistic.  Im sure there are things that you like about yourself.  Focus on those and be the best you, you can be.  PM me if you need to chat.', 'Is this something he does regularly?  You need to communicate to him that it hurts you when he does such things.  If you do that and he keeps doing it, then you have a legitimate complaint.  Keep in mind, there are two people in the relationship, its not all you and its not all him.', 'Take a deep breath ... your online ""friends"" may have an easier time relating to you but that doesnt mean your boyfriend doesnt care.  Dating a Depression person is Tired difficult.  You want the Tired best for them and often feel like you cant give it to them, no matter how hard you try.  Communicate with him and tell him what you need.  If you dont do that, you cant expect him to come up with it on his own.', 'These drugs arent magic bullets.  You should talk to your doctor and possibly switch to another drug.  If you still dont get relief consider seeing a therapist or joining a group.', 'Whats on your mind?', 'I wish I had an answer for you.  I was in a Tired bad car accident when I was 25 that left me with two broken vertebrae in my neck, a fractured skull and lots of soft tissue damage.  I should not have lived, but walked out of the hospital seven days later.  I have had a Headache ever since and Im 45 now.  In addition to constant headaches, I have chronic neck Pain and leg Pain related to a fall when I was 40.  Im amazed that Ive lasted this long but I feel like I wont be able to make it much longer.  The Pain has just become too much.  I cant even begin to list the things that have been tried to ease my suffering.  Nothing works for me.  Naturally it leads to Depression and guess what?  Depression can cause headaches.  For a while I was able to motivate myself enough to push through the Pain and thats what I would recommend for you.  Push yourself to make things as good as you can.', 'I think the pills help some people but not everyone and probably not even most.  I was heavily medicated for several years and I believe it made things worse for me.  I took myself off the meds without my doctors guidance and had some real eye-opening realizations that I had been living in a fog and had made some horrible mistakes.  I was still suffering from severe physical Pain, which is one of several sources of my Depression, but I stopped all those pills too.  Im sitting here today because I stopped the pills.  Still horribly Depression, still in a lot of Pain, but alive and where there is life, there is hope.', 'Ive suffered from Depression for most of life.  It has progressed with few periods of dormancy.  It is all I really know, and while there is perhaps some comfort and familiarity in that, I want nothing more than to be free from it.  It would mean starting over from scratch, extensive therapy and possibly even inpatient treatment, but I imagine emerging from it like a butterfly from a cocoon, finally able to spread my wings and fly.  As someone who lives each day consumed by feelings of hopelessnEss and helplessness, it is my singular hope.', 'Is there a special place for you to find women interested in the Emo Kid lifestyle?  I assume there is, so the women you find are looking for that?  Obviously, they need to be looking for the same thing you want in terms of dating and relationships.  How do these dates usually go?  You are yourself, do something enjoyable for the two of you and things seem to go well but you dont get a second date?  Have you asked any of these women why you dont get another date?  Or perhaps your friends can shed some light on it?', 'Hang in there.  Keep your mind focused that youve just missed a dose, the drug is still in your system and is still functioning, just at a lower level.  Treat the symptoms and relax, youll be fine.', 'Cut her ', 'Im finding it Tired difficult to get the words down.  I dont know where to begin.', 'This may not be helpful, but life is tough for a lot of people.  You are not alone.  You may see what you think are a lot of happy, contented people out there, but a lot of them are hiding their demons just like you.  Ive suffered from severe Depression for most of my life and most people had no idea.  Sure, Ive had ""friends"" but few that I could really open up to.  Ive been in relationships, but similarly held back my demons for not wanting to adversely affect them.  (Of course, they were affected by it anyway).  I suffer from severe chronic Pain in my head, neck and left leg relating to two Tired serious accidents.  On top of that, Ive always had financial problems, self-confidence issues, feelings of low self-worth, failures, Asthenia family relationships because Im gay, witnessing the accidental death of my step-father, I had Malignant neoplastic disease in high school, puberty was hell and bullying in lower school because of a birth defect effecting my eyes.  My life has been one constant depressive state.  I was on anti-depressants and other drugs for Pain, all of which left me in a fog for years.  I wasnt living, I was existing.  I stopped the meds and got some clarity, but the Pain and Depression are worse than ever.  Fundamentally, my problems arent going to go away, but I couldnt bring myself to kill myself for Fear of hurting the people that I know love me, but that dont know how bad off I am.  I think now that I need some intensive therapy, probably checking myself into a residential treatment facility for Depression, alcoholism and Pain management.  Im at the end of my rope but suicide isnt the answer and I dont think it is for you.  One thing youre doing really interests me, which is art school.  It seems like that would be a great outlet for expression.  If I can get out of this, I really think using art in the treatment process could be really effective.  What do you think about that?', 'Please understand that Depression often starts Tired slowly, with just a few symptoms, such as Lethargy and lack of interest.  It can easily progress into something far more debilitating.  You should start with your primary care physician, if you have one.  He/she can help guide you in the right direction.  You may need to check with your parents about whether their insurance covers mental health, but it should.', 'Your dream is emblematic of one simple truth - you dont want to die and as such your Suicidal thoughts are just thoughts.  Its good news for you, you have a reason to live.  Many people who survive suicide attempts have a similar epiphany.  Others can take solace in your story, reminding them that they too have reasons to live.  Thanks for sharing.', 'I think perhaps you dont understand Depression.  While its true that Depression is essentially a mental Illness, it can be brought about by a range of issues, including physiological.  Its not just about being sad or blue, its much deeper than that.  While science hasnt been able to determine why, MRIs of brains of people suffering from Depression show Tired distinct differences from those of people who are not Depression.  As for medications, they arent effective for everyone and in many cases just make matters worse, which is exactly what they did for me.  There is no silver bullet for this and over generalizing is not supportive.', 'I lost the love of my life because of my severe Depression, but we both screwed it up.  Trying to protect him, I kept my feelings and emotions bottled up.  I had this great guy, but I couldnt talk to him because I didnt want to bring him down with me.  That was my mistake.  His mistake was not taking my diagnosis seriously and not offering me the support I needed.  He could have pushed me to get help, but instead he went to see a therapist.  My doctor prescribed me a cocktail of meds and sent me to an accupuncturist to deal with the chronic Pain that was the primary driver of my Depression.  No one took me seriously though it might have saved me from this life.  If you love her and still want that future, you need to help pull her up.  Support her, work with her, remind her of the good times.  Get her the help she needs, whether its medical, psychological or whatever.  If shes anything like most people suffering with this Illness, she isnt telling you everything.  You need to draw it out of her. It may be helpful for you to speak with a therapist about the best ways to do these things.  If you choose instead to take the advice of people telling you to dump her, which my ex did, then you should do it without hesitation, rip it like a bandaid and dont look back, because she will only get worse.', 'Ive only been to see a therapist once, shortly after the accident that led to severe chronic Pain that is the primary driver of my major depressive disorder.  I went to therapy at the time not because of Pain or Depression but because I walked out of the hospital 7 days after the accident and my friend (the driver) never walked again.  My injuries were technically more severe, but my spinal cord was more resilient and I suffered only temporary paralysis.  The therapy was a complete waste of time for the reasons you stated.  I did all the talking, he offered no insight, no help whatsoever.  After many years the residual Pain has gotten worse and Im now so deep in Depression it has destroyed my career, relationships and life.  I was on meds for several years, but was living in a fog.  I have few memories of those years and made some real bad decisions. I feel like it may be time for something intensive that could address the Depression, Pain management and alcohol abuse but Im just not confident that it will work.  Its looking like my last ",Behavior
user-204,"['While my peers were partying and going to college I was in therapy trying to learn to like myself enough to be willing to live a little longer. My husband had enormous financial and social success, but his life was hollow until he devoted himself to getting whole emotionally, moving to a new city and closing one of his businesses to do a particular therapy. We have both benefited enormously for decades from getting help for our Emotional upset distress.There are lots of well meaning incompetents out there, but if you can find a good therapist and you make it your highest priority, it might help buffer you against the sense of being overwhelmed by lifes ups and downs. It certainly did for us. For me personally, being true to myself even when it is embarrassing or difficult is critical to my will to live, even after all these years. Therapy isnt a panacea, but sometimes just unpacking all the Pain and Fear and giving it a good airing reduces it to its proper proportion and makes it less overwhelming. Your suffering is heartfelt. If you use it to gain insight it wont be wasted, but rather productive.', 'You didnt abort him. What a gift you have given him! The opportunity to live and grow and experience consciousness. You sacrificed your own needs and let him be raised where he will have the best chance to be happy. Again, what a gift you have given him! You are so Tired young yourself, it seems unreasonably harsh to blame yourself for not being able to manage parenthood without any support. When I was a teenager I ran across a clipping that said that teenagers who were Suicidal but didnt kill themselves were glad afterwards. I cut it out and carried it in my pocket for years. It was true for me--I have had a wonderful life, full of love and adventure, in spite of my Tired rocky and Pain youth. I was not as brave as you were. I aborted the baby I carried when I was 16. I didnt have the strength or courage to even try to allow him or her to live. You should be proud of what you have accomplished. Somewhere there is a happy little boy who wouldnt have existed if not for your love and bravery. I have enormous respect for you, and I suspect that when you have recovered from your grief and loss you have the character to make a valuable, rewarding life for yourself.']",Ideation
user-205,"['alcohol CAN do it if I am not cautious.certain friends who have similar outlooks and standards can make me feel less alone, more outgoing and cocky.stupid people (having to chat or be in a group of douchebags, red staters, ""true believers"", people without curiosity, etc). These trigger Feeling Feeling irritable and eventually Feeling angry which shoots me off from my almost constant Depression state and spiraling toward hypo mania/mixed state.Thank someone for haldol. That is my emergency brake to keep me from messing up.', 'Yes. One, my wife. Two, my parents. Three, a few teens that I have worked with and brought them back from the point of suicide. If I killed myself (which seems realistic and comforting) I know that those people would feel sad and I might undo my work with the kids. So, basically, guilt keeps me faking it day by day.', 'Thank you for your observations. Life has been Tired tough. I constantly feel as though, while I can paste a smile on my face and fake it for a short time, I am pushed around by feelings of duty, guilt, obligation. Even when I am having a ""good"" or fun time, I am not at all happy and when it ends it makes even more sense to just be done with it all. The only thing I have going for me is a beautiful, strong, funny, compassionate and intelligent wife. I only work part-time, here and there, because it is all I can take. She works 60+ hours a Asthenia to take care of our needs. I am fortunate. While I know that suicide is a perfectly reasonable action when your quality of life hits a certain consistent low, letting my wife down is the ONLY reason I havent killed myself yet. She knows that. My Bipolar disorder is treatment resistent. I am on several anti-psychotics, two benzos, adderall and ketamine. And, things just dont get better. I turn 44 in 25 days. I dont want to keep living my life this way. ', 'Give the stooges a try. Search and Destroy. I want To Be Your Dog. 1969. Gimme Danger. ', 'This has been my desktop picture on and off for about a year now. I really think it is an accurate vibe for the fits and starts of my life.', 'Sing me to sleepSing me to sleepAnd then leave me alone""Dont try to wake me in the morningCause I will be goneDont feel bad for meI want you to knowDeep in the cell of my heartI will feel so glad to go""The Smiths(I agree)', 'Stability is a place bipolar people visit. None of us actually live there. Things can seem OK or normal, but its just a phase of the ride up or down.', 'http://psychcentral.com/news/2012/05/31/ketamine-relieves-bipolar-depression-Suicidal-thoughts-in-less-than-an-hour/39472.htmleven more recognition for the possible efficacy of Ketamine in treating Bipolar disorder disorder', '1200 mg Seroquel6 mg xanax5 mg haldol60 mg adderall6 mg klonopin25 mg ketamineand others rotated in and out to see if we can get me to back off further from the precipice and others we', 'Well, I already have post-concussive syndrome so, my memory isnt the sharpest. But, ECT (three years ago) totally wiped out eight months of my life. I recall Tired little. I think it even made it harder for me to access older memories. ECT didnt help me with my mood issues, but it left quite a mental mark.', 'http://luxperci.com/ketamine-illegal-hallucinogenic-bipolar-drug/some more positive information here', 'every single moment that i am with or around people i paste a happy face on... and it kills me just a little bit more', 'http://bipolar.about.com/cs/faqs/f/faq_rapidcycle.htm', 'Bipolar 1 (rapid cycling and tending toward the dark side), ADD, GAD, PTSD and EBV to top things off.', 'Mixed mood describes me, as well. Most of the time anyway. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist soon.I have tried, over the last 10 years pretty much every anti-depressant and anti-psychotic out there. Lithium helps my moods, but messes up my stomach up so much that it isnt a good choice for me.ECT didnt help me at all. All it did for me was ruin my memory. I lost the memory of virtually six months of my life while I was in treatment and since then I have difficulty with short term memory and cognition. That is almost two years ago now that I tried that. I have tried everything you mentioned. I recently changed some dietary habits and started to exercise. I have lost about 20 pounds in six months. But, it just makes my clothes fit different. It hasnt helped my moods or my thoughts of suicide.Thanks for your input, though. I appreciate hearing from you. I hope you continue to improve.', 'In addition to bipolar one (basically treatment resistant), ADD, PTSD and post-concussive syndrome I have a rotten memory. Not just poor cognition and awful short term memory, but there are large gaps in my memory from all parts of my life (I am 45 now). It is frustrating and makes day to day life, work and relationships complicated.', 'Is anyone else here using Ketamine as a treatment for BPD? I have been receiving infusions, taking an oral dose daily and now using an atomizer to blow it into my nasal cavity. I am on roughly 5mL daily (prescribed and used off-label). So, I am under a doctors care and not buying this off the street. I think that it has helped to a certain degree. It definitely pulled me back from stepping off the cliff just enough to function. What has your experience been?', 'dead...or, maybe...left to myself (with a friend or two) to investigate, imagine and project my minds fits and starts, Feeling angry and sadness, high definition and hi-fi stereo sensory intake as i see fit, with or without alcohol or other ""drugs"". Probably with many (legal and semi-legal) additives. I would go, on foot, to many avenues of experience yet not travailed. I want to go through life, not just be a part of it. and when i have had enough... simple -  .38 in the mouth as a maniacal and undeniable proof that the pills and beers in me at that point would leave me ""at peace"". Nothing else matters, at that point.', 'At first I was only receiving the infusion. Basically, the infusion is 2mL of Ketamine delivered intravenously with a simple saline solution. The entire process is under observation and take 90 - 120 minute for the complete session. It is a disassociative (like LSD) so I get pretty weirded out. I have to have someone drive me home. On my personal mood scale (1 - Suicidal -10 manic) I am content if I can be in the four to six range. Its not great but, it is better than the 1 to 3 range I am often in. Post-infusion, for a Asthenia or so, I am in the mid-range. I slowly go back to the lower end of the scale. Slowly the dosage was Fatigue (I am at the 2mL now) to where the positive effect of the infusion went from every Asthenia to every other Asthenia to every three. Then we decided to give a daily oral dose of 5mL (only about 15 - 20% absorption rate) and that wasnt awesome, but keeping me around a four. Recently we went to about 2mL a day administering the Ketamine through an atomizer into the nasal cavity (up my nose) where the absorption rate is thought to be closer to 50%. Along with the Seroquel (which I take at a Tired high dosage) I am fluctuating between 3 and 5 on my mood scale) depending on the day and the time of day. Ketamine is experimental. You may have a difficult time finding a doctor who is adventurous enough to prescribe it off-label for BPD. Also, your insurance company wont pay for it. However, if you can get the prescription a compund-pharmacy should be able to get a 10mL bottle for between 6 and 8 dollars per bottle. Please dont buy it illegally or experiment with it. I think that you could really mess yourself up.', 'Learn to leverage it. Depression sucks, but as soon as you make it your default setting it gets much easier.', 'I write poems and short stories. Most of the short stories are really at the childrens book level. The poetry can go on and on as I just follow my flow of thoughts. I occasionally draw what I imagine is happening in my head between my mind, my brain and my emotions.I keep precious little of what I write or draw. Mostly I burn or shred what I have worked on (sometimes for many hours) as I find it cathartic and freeing to kill it all away. That which I keep is only for me and I keep it hidden away. Been following this model since I was about 10 or so. I am 45 now. It works for me.', 'I am on 1200mg a night. Not only do I sleep, but I feel myself standing back just a little bit further of the cliff from which I want to hurl myself.', 'I do not have bipolar, I am bipolar. I always have been. It is who I am. Its not the best life, but I wouldnt give it up. I wouldnt change who I am.', 'While other meds have drifted in and out of my treatment Seroquel has been the one constant. I credit Seroquel with saving my life. I have not experienced any negative side effects. I wish that it worked as well for others as it has for me.', 'I am a kind, relatively intelligent, funny and people feel at ease around me. However, I keep anyone who would be a friend at arms length. I am not Tired connected to my family. I do volunteer and work with some teens who are messed up with depression, self-injury and sometimes more severe emotional/mental issues. I have a lot of success with them, but I bear each of their burdens as it were my own. I dont want them to Pain and live like I have lived, but I am nearing the point of having no more room to care. I should feel good about being able to help this way but it makes me Numbness and Illness to my stomach. I guess that they are another reason that I havent finished myself off yet. I dont want any good I have done to be undone by my actions. In any case, with life (pain, darkness, guilt, self-loathing, a brain that wont shut down, failure, hypocrisy, scars of every sort, apathy, tears, frustration, Feeling angry and shit) I am pretty much done. I have the method. I have rehearsed. All I am missing is the date. Everyone would move on without me and be just fine. Of that, I am certain. ', 'Never better said.', 'For several decades now I have had those fleeting (at times, lingering) thoughts that being dead/killing myself on a regular ongoing basis. I dont intentionally conjure up those thoughts, words or pictures. They just come. In a sad way Suicidal ideation is my constant companion. I am 45 now. I have the means to kill myself. I have rehearsed suicide. I have written innumerable suicide/goodbye notes. The only reason the ideation has not become reality is that I take my meds. The only reason I take my meds is so that I dont let my wife or daughter down. I live with the ugly and unbidden thoughts, words and images of suicide everyday. I dont know if this helps or is useless blah blah blah, but there it is.', 'I agree with agreeing about NOT pushing the button. I dont want to be ""normal"" and live a ""regular"" life. The ups and downs are who I am. I have an amazing wife, good friends, enough money and perspective. Although there are days where I know that I can fly and others where I wish I would die, I will keep what I have. I am at peace with the fact that I am broken, but I also know that I am unique and special.', 'usually the Ramones ']",Behavior
user-206,"['Im struggling to think of anything useful to say right now. I just wanted to let you know that someones read your story. I dont like your dad.', 'You could be feeling like youre taking control of the situation. Youre doing something about how youre feeling. For me, finding some things to substitute actually committing suicide has helped regain some of that sense of relief. Im not sure how healthy it is, but writing out my plan, writing out the pros and cons of suicide, writing out a note, without the full intention of suicide, has helped in the past. I cant say it will or wont be fleeting, everyone is different.Its okay to be scared. I wish I could tell you for sure what you should do. Try to remember that youre a living person and that you deserve to feel in control and at peace.Please consider going to a hospital. Its not quite the same, but that in itself is a way to exert control over the situation. I hope you feel better. ', 'Would it be possible for you to visit a food bank until your next Disability payment? Consider talking to your therapist about making small payments on top of your regular payments to cover the payment(s) youll be missing (whatever you can afford). Make sure theres nothing left of your crack items. Just get rid of whatever you smoked it with and consider it a mistake that youre handling.You were hurting and you did something to dull the Pain. If you need to spend time in the hospital, think about telling them youre Suicidal without swallowing the Tylenol. (Edit: I just saw about the RCMP. I understand how the police can sometimes be hard to deal with concerning mental issues.)The mistakes we make dont make us a mistake. I hope tonight passes and you feel better soon.', 'Youre not wasting anyones time.Youre in a lot of Pain, its natural to want to end your Pain. It might feel like your whole sense of self was tied up in her and now it might feel tied up in her absence. Maybe you feel incomplete. Youre not. Youre your own person. It probably feels awful to be that person right now and I cant tell you for sure, but it might not always be that way. I know that ""maybe"" and ""might"" can pale in comparison to the desire to end things right now. Suicide is, for the most part, a sure end and continuing on because things might get better seems the poor alternative. However, being Suicidal is like having a film over your eyes, anything you look at right now is probably colored by how badly you feel.From my perspective outside of that film, with what information youve provided, I can tell you that suicide isnt the only way through this. You may be able to heal from this, you may be able to come to terms with yourself and live for yourself. Youre not a relationship, youre your own person. Please consider giving this wound some time to heal a little. ', 'Guilt, shame, and Feeling hopeless are pretty powerful motivators. I know that in my own life, theyve been extremely powerful motivators towards suicide. I imagine you feel a lot of responsibility for having AIDS, for your lover having AIDS, and for whatever affect it might have on your family. I dont think feeling responsibility or guilt or shame or whatever means you need to die. I apologize if this isnt what you meant. I also think it means that you care Tired deeply about what has happened, what is happening and you want it to end. Death isnt the only way to handle this. Please consider going to an emergency room, talking to someone about this, anything. I know you dont want to experience this anymore but think about Exhaustion some other options before suicide. I cant guarantee that things will work out but you deserve, no matter what has happened in your life, a chance to have help with this situation.', 'It wasnt too long. It sounds to me like youre Tired much Depression. The lack of interest, the absence of pleasure in things you enjoyed, the general indecisive malaise. I guess what I want to say is that I know it sucks and it feels like life sucks (maybe it really does, I dont know) but it could get better. Maybe not better in the sense that everything works out and you feel good most of the time, but better in the sense of finding pleasant islands in the ocean. Youre in between islands again right now but theres another one out there. I dont know if that makes continuing to live worth it, but you can only find out if you do continue to live. I hope this doesnt come off as dismissive, its something that I tell myself sometimes and Im still here.', 'I wanted to point you to [r/suicidology](http://www.reddit.com/r/suicidology).I also want to say that at times Ive gone through something similar. I personally find that since we live in a seemingly immeasurable universe, our importance in it is also immeasurable. What does scale matter in something that is without scale? It just has ceased to mean much to me. Im not quite sure why or how that came about. I dont think I have a view on whether or not a person should or should not commit suicide over a philosophical view, in general.', 'I was a hitter for a long time.I think the best thing right now, would be to stop drinking for the day/night. It helps at first but it can make you feel this much more deeply.If you havent, try talking about these feelings with your friends. If theres someone you really trust, talk about the self harm if you can. If not, keep talking about it online.', 'While I cant say its impossible for someone to drug something, please consider the amount of time and effort a doctor would have to put in to spike your food. It would involve the collusion of more than one party (the dining hall) and the cooperation and silence of said parties. Silence because it would have to be kept secret not only from you but from authorities. Furthermore, it is likely a doctor would know a medication might have a noticeable taste.Please also consider that even though the attention you received was uncomfortable, it was likely (in my opinion) out of concern. Its Tired difficult to truly force anyone to take medications in a consistent enough way for those medications to have real effect. If youre ever comfortable enough, I urge you to speak to the doctor again, even about your concerns about he or she drugging you. They may also be able to provide some insight into some of the personal issues you expressed in your diary entry, possibly in the form of talk therapy.', 'I dont mean this as a way of passing you off, but [r/kindvoice](http://www.reddit.com/r/KindVoice/) might be something to try.I know how hard it is to go to people for help and have it go nowhere or have it set things back.', 'I dont think youre Asthenia. Everyone gets wet when theres a bucket of water being poured over their heads. Youve got a lot of Stress coming at you. I think its pretty natural to want to knock over the whole bucket and make the deluge stop.Posting about this is proactive. Talking about all of these issues is a strong thing to do. I imagine its really difficult to ask for help when it feels like there are things out to get you. I know its part of why I find it difficult, its hard to trust in those circumstances. It doesnt take much to damage our ability to trust and it sounds like youve had some really bad experiences.Please think about going to someone with these issues. Doctors, therapists, hotlines, groups online, counselors if youre in school, anything.', 'Weakness and weariness are both really good descriptors.I hear you about the financial concerns and I think its a really valid concern. Like you said, thats not Tired good for Suicidal thoughts. Many hospitals do offer charity assistance if it comes down to that being your only alternative at some point, however.I hope you find something and I hope you can feel better.', 'Youre not your thoughts. When I was younger, violent thoughts, I think, were my way of feeling control. I dont mean to say thats why youre having them. It was tough for me to separate what I was thinking from who I am.Im not sure if youve heard all of this stuff before, but instead of push pins, have you ever tried holding ice or something similar?', 'If you think its okay. I hope you can feel better. (Also its never selfish or a bother to come here.) ', 'It doesnt always get better and it doesnt always take time. Theres just the chance for that. I wish I could offer you something more practical but I just dont have those experiences to offer.', 'I just wanted to say that Ive felt the same way so often. (Administrative limbo, also, is the worst.) I hope you can find something in your life to make you feel like living. Im sorry I dont have any helpful suggestions.', 'It sounds like youre taking a lot of good steps. Its hard to look back at how things used to be. I often feel the same way about people Ive left behind.Regardless of how your birthday goes, think of it as a milestone. You can look back at this birthday and say, ""that was the year I decided to live again."" I hope that you get all the help you need and can have the life you want.[Happy Birthday.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FchMuPQOBwA)', 'Ive been somewhere close to there with Depression people and Ive experienced deep Depression many times myself. Sometimes Im too close to a person or a problem to separate myself from it and see the issue as it really is.Its a lot easier to see the whole forest when youre not in the middle of the trees (to use an old metaphor). In my own life Ive tried not to focus so much on how I feel about what a person is experiencing but more on how that person might feel about it. It helps some, when I can remember to do so.Another thing to consider: how much do you choose to be happy? Not to take away from the appreciation you have for your life but try to choose to be unhappy for a week. Could you do it for the whole week? Try imagining your partner doing the same about happiness.Situational Depression is real, of course. External factors can contribute greatly. Some people fall into a Depression from grief, from Stress, from dissatisfaction. Chronic Depression often seems like theres no reason. Ive had great circumstances in my own life and couldnt understand myself why I felt nothing but a desire to stop existing.Being worn down by someone elses Depression is understandable and pretty common, just like any chronic Illness. Reaching out like youre doing now can be really helpful, not only for understanding your partner better, but for getting some support for how youre feeling too.', 'You dont sound lazy to me. (Im not sure if I even believe in the concept of Loss of motivation anymore, theres always a reason why people arent doing things.) Telling ourselves (or being told by others) were just being lazy seems to me to be a pretty common reaction to feeling poorly.Im not sure I can really offer any practical advice other than to communicate with the people in your life about these issues. It can be tough to struggle through alone.', 'Im not sure anyone can tell you why its worth it outside of why its worth it personally. Its worth it (usually) for me because there are sometimes things that I enjoy. Sometimes it feels not at all worth it. I dont think I can articulate why I dont kill myself during those times, Im not usually sure.I wish I could give you a definitive answer. Maybe someone else will be able to give more insight.', 'I just wanted to throw in holding ice as a substitute for cutting or any immediate self harming.', 'Its tough for me to argue with a pros and cons list. (They are my holy grail.) I think its important to consider how much that Emotional upset Pain influences our perception of pros and cons. I made a list two weeks ago, myself. The pros were two pages long and there were only four cons. I think if I wrote one today, right now, the cons would remain constant but the pros would be much smaller. I also think about suicide a lot, it often seems like the natural answer to anything. Im guessing you stopped your medication for a reason, but I want to urge you to try them again. (I feel silly saying that because right now Im not taking my own advice.) Not feeling anymore is tempting and Im not sure I can really argue against the merits of that. I can say, however, that I personally find the potential for feeling better to be worth remaining for.Regardless, I hope you can find peace soon.', 'I guess this is my ""go to"" (not the actual metaphor, I dont think Id like it if someone said that to me). Its just been my experience, the downs and the sort of ups. I struggle with saying it to other people sometimes, because I dont know what other peoples experiences are. Sometimes I think it helps, sometimes Im not sure that I didnt make it worse for someone. Everything feels like a gamble with someones life and with how someone feels.I wish I could say something helpful.', 'I dont think youre crazy for being angry a lot. I think thats a pretty expected response to your life. I know that it was my go to response for a long time (and sometimes still is). I cant say I had the same experiences you had, Ive never dealt with much bullying, but the Anxiety before school (and work), the retreat into internet and fantasy, those really ring a bell with me. I have a lot of trouble maintaining connections, Ive never found it easy to be a good friend, or keep close connections. Feeling like an outsider, not having the avenues available that a truly social person might have, is difficult. Practically and emotionally. I dont think its an end to things things though.', 'Have you ever had any inpatient treatment? Both times I had a series of ECT it was decided upon and delivered while I was inpatient on a mental health floor at a hospital. If youre on the verge of suicide, finding a safe place to help you with these decisions can be a help in itself.There is, of course, out patient ECT. You really (probably) just need to ask a psychiatrist, if youre seeing one. If youre not currently seeing someone, getting a referral from a general practitioner might be an avenue to go down (or finding one out of the phone book).I know how frustrating it is to seek help and find dead ends.', 'I wish I could offer something helpful about your marriage and your family. I dont think I can, I really think thats outside of my purview. Not because I havent experienced family and relationships, but maybe because I havent experienced your relationship and family, if that makes sense. That said, Im not sure what I said in my last response about concentrating on your own health and worrying about your situation later was the correct thing to say. Im not sure it wasnt either but I think you really need someone to hear you about your wife and your family.I just wanted to let you know that Im reading these things even if I dont really know what to respond to them with. I do think you should keep talking about it. Whether it is here, other subreddits, hotlines, message boards, anything or all of those things. You can also message the moderators here (the link is in the sidebar), Ive done that before and spoken to people in private. I wont tell you not to give up because I dont think its so simple that it can be boiled down to such a statement. Youre fighting right now though, just by making that first post here.Quick Edit - I also dont mean to say that Im passing you off, please do keep talking here if you feel inclined. I absolutely will read it barring something catastrophic.', 'Id add that you might remember to get something to eat, to drink some water, sleep when you need to. Its okay to keep yourself safe during this.', 'Youre welcome, I hope you feel better.', 'I dont know if this applies to other people. Something I learned from my own personal life is that I cant make myself care. As harsh as it sounds, I absolutely do not care about other people, things, or life if my primary needs are not met. Food, shelter, and positive attention (or community or love or relationships, whatever we want to call it). I had to have help to get all of those things. I wasnt able to do it on my own, as much as I told myself that I should have been able to. My help started with medical care.I dont know what help youve had thus far. Please, if you havent, see some doctors. If you have, see different ones. Even if you have no way to pay for it, start small, find a free clinic, find somewhere with a sliding scale, find a learning hospital.', 'Firstly, I wanted to say that I have heard of Gabe Newell actually returning e-mails. (I dont know how true that is, however.)Secondly: that is a lot of Pressure hanging over you for a fairly long time. People make mistakes. Regardless of what possible effect this could have on what you want to do in the future, try to forgive yourself. That is easier said than done but you dont deserve the torture this is putting you through.Something to try would be to make a list of what possible outcomes there could be.As an example:* Nothing happens* You cant work for Steam* You lose your Steam accountSomething like that. Then consider alternative paths for each outcome youve listed.* No action needed* You could work for a mobile game distributor/developer* Games can be replaced, over timeAs much as it feels like the end of things if some of the outcomes you Fear could come true, its not. It would Pain (I have a large Steam library myself and I would feel absolutely terrible) but there are other alternatives.This isnt something to solve what youre going through, but its an example of something to help you begin to deal with it. Please think about talking about this with someone, as many people as you feel comfortable doing so with. If you have access, talk to someone in a therapy capacity. The Anxiety and misery you feel about this are difficult to cope with.', 'Hang in there.', 'Honestly, it makes a lot of sense. Thats why I think you should reconsider talking to someone. You do have to trust yourself, but I can see my own reasons for not returning to care in what you said and that is what makes me think you should try it anyway. It may be me projecting myself onto you, but I know that my own logic and reason cant always be trusted, from experience. Things like Depression are especially insidious because they speak to us, in a sense, through reason. I dont seek a doctor again because Ive tried multiple times and have had a few bad experiences. I feel that I know the risk isnt worth it. But there is doubt. I havent actually seen more than a few doctors out of the many in my area. Ive only ever used one psychiatric hospital ward. All of my experience is based on a tiny slice of psychiatry. What I mean to say is, I understand that youve decided to trust in yourself, but any doubt, I think, is reason enough to reach out. I cant sit here and tell you must see someone, especially when I am choosing not to (doubly so about the drugs, they can work so differently for different people and there are so many combinations, it is overwhelming).I dont mean to Pressure you on this account (maybe I do a little, honestly), but I wouldnt want to see you not exhaust another option.', 'Im absolutely sure you feel like theres no coming back right now. You might not feel that way in a Asthenia or in a month or next year. I am sorry you were violated again and that you have to go through this on top of whatever else is happening in your life.', 'It is lonely to not fit in. In my own life there have been times where Ive felt genuinely well regarded or well liked but I dont ever really feel part of that community. Theres a separateness there that I dont fully understand. I have learned, over time, that my self worth doesnt have to be so tied up in other people. That doesnt always, however, make it feel any better to be on the other side of the wall, so to speak. Full disclosure though, I do and almost always have been able to maintain one close relationship at a time, I cant say Ive ever truly been friendless so I can only imagine what that is really like.I personally dont think there is a point. Most of the time Im okay with that. Sometimes I think about how short a human lifetime is and it does feel like there isnt much difference between dying now and dying later. Life can feel futile. However, and this could be because I am a bit focused upon myself in general, I find myself living for good experiences. I dont really mean the grand experiences people talk about; the epic trips to strange places, the epiphanies, and so on. Just the good times. Doing things I genuinely like. Of course, when people are Depression, it can be really difficult to really enjoy things. I think it would be disingenuous if I declared that this is something that should or would work in your own life. My overall point is that there are other things that some people do live for, not just the mainstream ideals that we grow up thinking we need to strive for. I cant say if you will find your own point to life.I do hope you can feel better. I hope your next therapist is a better fit or results in some kind of relief. ', 'I think your concern is founded but I dont think you should carry guilt for this. The what ifs of the past dont have to be the what ifs of the present. Keep anything youve learned but try to let the event itself go.', 'I looked through some of your history. Would you consider telling your doctor that you feel Suicidal?Youre in a lot of immediate Pain right now but it looks like youve made it through some pretty difficult times before. Remember that some of the Pain will pass. Not fitting some sexual norms doesnt make you a freak. Youre attracted to your sister and thats that. I cant comment on what that means because its a little out of my depth, to be honest, and I also think its up to you and your sister to define what that means.', 'Its okay if they dont work for you, many things didnt work for me. Some things were more like stepping stones for me.', 'If things have been spiraling downwards, they can spiral upwards again too. Youre having a really hard time right now. I know it might seem hopeless and impossible to get out of, but thats the Depression wearing you down. Keep talking to people who will listen.', 'I think its important for you to tell him you love him. I dont know if that will help with the guilt or if it will help your familys situation but I think it might be important for you (and maybe your step-dad) in the future.Consider showing him what youve typed here if you cant tell him.(Dont worry about being in the wrong sub-reddit.) ', 'Please call the emergency service number for your area. Hold something over the cuts tightly, as tight as you can. Even if you think the cuts will stop Bleeding on their own, please call anyway. Its okay if it wasnt a suicide attempt or not, the details arent as important as getting the Bleeding stopped. Please make that call.', 'Whats happening?', 'Youre welcome, come back anytime.', 'Contact a lawyer if you have phone privileges. If you dont, have someone else contact a lawyer for you.', 'Hi. If these Hallucinations are generally happening when you are sleepy, waking, or going to sleep, please consider talking to your doctor about doing a sleep study. I think its also important to note that Modafinil, a drug to combat the effects of sleepiness, has helped to an extent.You can also talk to your doctor about ""reality checking"" methods to help you distinguish between what is actually happening and what youre experiencing.Also consider that antipsychotics are often used off-label. While your doctor may have prescribed them for your Hallucinations, dont take that as a diagnosis, just as a diagnostic tool. (I do understand the reluctance to take resperidone because I wont take it again for the same reasons.)', '/r/suicidology ', 'I dont think Delusional disorder factors into it. A lawyer is most qualified to advise the OP on the situation. I hope the OP gets any help they need, legally and medically.', 'Make sure you read the disclaimers for the hotline/chat. Some will report, some wont.It sucks to have the police show up, but dont let that scare you away from getting some help. Youre not doing anything wrong.', 'It can be heart wrenching to reach out and have no response. That isnt a reflection upon you. I know you feel that you are nothing, and while it may not alleviate that feeling, I dont think you are. Youre a person who absolutely has thoughts and feelings. That is something, even if it feels horrible. I personally think that the ability to experience is something that gives us all value, every living thing. I have to suspect that that may not make you feel better. I wish I could better illustrate the idea or to somehow demonstrate your intrinsic (in my opinion) value.I also wish I could say something to give you hope, something to soothe your Pain. I dont know that I can. I know that wishes dont accomplish things on their own, but I hope that my wishes for you can maybe demonstrate that you do have worth. I dont think that value and worth are determined by others. While I believe you are valuable, its not my place to assign that value to you. You already have it just by being.', 'When Im being honest, I feel a similar way. In my mind, it is how I will die. I dont know if thats conditioning from feeling Suicidal or a result of mental Illness or practicality or whatever. It does feel like a pointless wheel, seemingly endless cycles and then the wheel comes off the spoke and its over. However, I want to think that it doesnt necessarily matter if we do kill ourselves in the future. As hard as it is for me to personally to see it otherwise, we dont live in the future, it hasnt happened yet. Getting through the feeling now can seem futile and pointless but I try to consider how I feel when I do get through that feeling. I dont feel that way when Im out of it. I cant say which is ""real"" or not.Im not sure if that made sense. I personally dont find ""live in the moment"" comforting but I also dont want to be ruled by things that havent occurred, no matter how likely I feel they may be.', 'Please consider the mistakes we may make as building blocks or bricks. Each mistake we make is another block to build with. We accumulate blocks. We can use those blocks to build a wall or we can use them to build stairs. If we build stairs, we wouldnt learn as much and our stairs wouldnt get as high, without those mistakes. We can use our mistakes to grow and to learn.  Its often tempting to build a wall instead, or to let the blocks accumulate into a huge pile. (Its even okay to do so because that pile or that wall can still be torn down and the blocks within can be used for stairs.) I apologize for the metaphor but it really helps me gather what I want to say. I also want to note that our stairs, our walls, or our piles of bricks arent what define our lives. Our mistakes or what we think of as mistakes dont make up our whole person. Were also not defined, I think, by how our mistakes compare with others. Youre not a waste, youre not a bad person. Youre still growing and we all are always growing, even a little.', 'I feel the same way about my cats. I Tired much wish right now that I had some kind of solution. I am also Disability and if I were suddenly alone, I wouldnt be homeless, but I would no longer be able to support my cats. I feel that it would be the end of my life as well.I tend to think there must always be some other option. I wish I knew what that was. Would your ex take the cats without your death? I know that probably isnt much better but it could be a chance for you to figure something out about how to keep them, if you could get them back. My heart really goes out to you.', 'If you do ever find another therapist, print this out and give it to them. I wish I could express what things are like as well as this. Im sorry your life has been like this.', 'Youre welcome, I hope someone can come up with some practical advice. I hope you make it through these times.', 'Ive been that friend. Lots of lies and avoidance and guilt and shame. It tough to say what will convince your friend she needs help. All you can really do is try to be understanding, keep putting yourself out there as her friend. Try something out of the norm like sending a letter explaining that you miss her. I would try to keep the advice and suggestions at a minimum at first. Sometimes people just want to be heard by their friends, having solutions pushed to the forefront can be pretty overwhelming.Its more than okay to be angry about your friend lying. If possible, try not to let that color future interactions. I cant speak for your friend and cant know why she lied but I know that for me, it felt like a necessity. We sometimes do unfortunate things when it feels like a matter of survival.The biggest thing to remember, and I think the toughest, is that you can lead a horse to water but you cant make her drink.It sounds like youre being a good friend by not giving up on her and wanting her to have help. Ive had friends like you, and not to make this about me, but I Pain sometimes thinking about how I couldnt return that friendship. I hope things work out, I truly do.', 'I think it really depends on the individual and the environment. Talking to some people can make things worse, talking to other people can make things better. In regards to judgement, Ive found it a lot easier to talk about my problems with strangers. I can always end contact with someone not in my life or on the internet.', 'Sometimes, being Depression doesnt hinge on how good our lives might be. I dont think you sound like youre being dramatic. Its extremely frustrating to not be able to pull yourself out of feeling this way. I dont know what your situation is like at home but please keep trying with your parents. Something to try might be to write down what your day is like. Write down what you do and how you feel. Show that to them. There may also be someone you can talk to at your school.Its hard to see any point to life when feeling as you do. I wish I could answer your question but its something we all must answer for ourselves. Please keep talking to people, keep trying, its the only way to find the answer for yourself. I hope you feel better.', 'I just wanted to say that I dont think there really is a ""too nice."" Being nice might be a hindrance in some areas of life, you might have more trouble with some things, but kindness is, I think, the most beautiful thing about any human being. Being kind is something that Ive struggled with, personally. I have had some Tired unkind periods of my life that I feel some regret about. Hang onto your niceness, try to see it as an investment in your future. As you grow, it could become a great asset.', 'I understand. I think everything is or becomes colored by whatever feelings drive this kind of thinking. I know that when I am thinking about suicide or in a deep Depression, there is no other option. It seems right and it seems as if it will happen, not a matter of if or when. I cant say this is how it is or will be for you but in my own experience its a matter of making it through those times. Making it until, for whatever unexplainable reason, I can think about other things and other options. I dislike saying, ""youre young, give it time,"" especially since I cant say you will experience things the way I have. So its with hesitation that I say to keep giving it time. Time is a resource we all have, even if it can be unbearable to pass.I absolutely wish I could tell you something tangible or useful. I think whatever you ultimately choose, you deserve respect and understanding. I hope that if you choose to continue that youll feel free to keep talking here or to come back at a later date.', 'I hear you on that one hundred percent. I havent used any hotlines before because Im actually afraid of the same thing, but I hope someone can come along with some suggestions about good ones.', 'I consider humiliation to be one of the strongest feelings throughout my life. For me, humiliation takes on a life of its own. I know that it might not matter what people think but that doesnt change the effect that humiliation has on me. I dont really know what to do either, aside from avoiding situations where I know or suspect Ill feel humiliated. I dont know if that can be ""cured.""Ive done a lot of things to try to work around it. Some negative, some positive. I dont really know what you should do. There are a lot of people hidden in this world with similar feelings and experiences. I hope you find something helpful.', 'Statistics are a funny thing because they always reflect the view of the statistician. I cant really tell you not to dwell on your height, I know what its like ",Supportive
user-207,"['I get what you mean and no. I dont have a single person.', 'Ive been to the psych ward 2 times and have seen many professionals. Putting on a face is so hard. Trust me Ive tried so fucking hard to get better. I dont want this life. I dont choose this for myself who would? But after 4 years of my life being meds, nap, and appointments i think i should give up. I cant take this anymore. Its obvious i cant better with out medication and i dont want to have to pay 400$ a month to stay sane and well. Thats money that could be used for my little brother to go to school and my mom to take a vacation. Its not fair that i have to live this life and its not fair i have to drag my family down with me. They have missed out on so much and it kills me. ', 'I have piercings but its not the same', 'I have met the most amazing person seriously. He means the world to me. And hes taking me away from here. We are getting our own place and hes helping me pay for school. But i cant rely on him only because i hide my Pain from him. My parents have always been awful. Everyone in the family hates my parents. My dad is an abusive manipulative drug addict and my Mom is a fucking bitch. ', 'Absolutely worthless', 'No', 'Addiction. Its more addicting then any drug for me. So amazing.', 'Serve clinical Depression. Manic biploar disorder. Severe social anxiety. My life is falling apart. Things are only getting worse as time goes on. I dont eat anymore. Everything is fine for about .05 seconds when i wake up then i realize what my life is. That or getting high. ', 'I know it is. But there is nothing i can do. Im moving out soon. Well i might be.im not sure if i can do it. I dont want to burden him. He tells me that i wont but thats all Ive ever been told so thats i can believe. If i dont leave ill die and i dont want to leave because i dont want to Pain him. I cant take the abuse here and i cant go. I feel like there is no other way.', 'I just cant cope anymore', 'Ana,mia, self harm, psychosis, bipolar, anxiety, paranoia, and depression', 'Im faking it because they dont understand. Ive tried to talk to them and when i freak out Im immature and Im a bitch and a burden and ""maybe i should just put you back in the hospital i cant deal with you"" -momI fake my recovery so i dont get shit everyday or put back into the place that made me worse.', 'ive been to both hospitals. Many psychiatrists and nothing helps. I feel so hopeless and just kinda done. ', 'Its the best feeling in the world. I dont even cut just because Im sad. I do it because i cant stop. It makes the bad feelings go away and the good feelings feel even better. Its better then coke, pills, weed, cigarettes, alcohol. Makes everything okay.', 'Its been so long since happiness i cant even remember a before. And as for what led me to this point I dont know where to start. ', 'My brain produces basically no serotonin. Like seriously its not there. No amounts of exercise and eating right will fix. Maybe rise it a tiny bit. But i need meds. Not cheep ones either. I cant ask any one to pay for them. It would be so much better for everyone if i just ended it.', 'idk. i dont like that kinda pain. i kite doing it myself']",Behavior
user-208,"['Please get help.  You dont have to go through this alone.  It can get better.', 'Please dont do this.  You actually can get better.', 'Please dont do it.  People can find you help for these medical problems.  There are good people out there who provide jobs that you can live on.  Please dont give up.', 'Please talk to somebody. Depression is really hard. But your life really can get better.', 'I understand that getting back to where you were can be Tired hard. But there is no shame in going through struggles. People will be understanding about what you are going through. I know it is hard, but you can find a passion for university and life again. ', 'Please dont do it. You can make a meaningful and enjoyable life for yourself. You have been dealt a bad hand in life but you can overcome all of your problems. ', 'Please go to a hospital.', 'Find a support group.  Talking your problems out can help.', 'Please look through the resources on the right sidebar', 'Please talk to someone about this.  Ask your friends for help.  They want to help you and see you happy', 'Talk to a doctor.  This is something you can get help with.', 'You can get through this.', 'I know it sucks but it really can get better. Find someone to talk to. Find a  support group and people who know exactly what youre going through.', 'Please talk to someone. There are other ways to make your life better than just anti-depressants alone. There are people that love and care about you. You are not alone in this.', 'There are trained professionals that can help.  People want to help you and can find you help', 'Maybe you just havent been talking to the right people. There is someone out there that can help you. Please dont lose hope, it really can get better.', 'You can find a way to escape the situation you are in that isnt through death. Please take Sauletekis up on their offer to help', 'Dont give up hope yet; Sauletekis is trying to find you a way.', 'You can find a way out of your misery.  You can find a way to be happy.', 'Your parents love you and want the best for you (even if they may be misguided in their attempts). Talk to a counselor at school to help you figure out a career path. Talk to your boyfriend about how you are feeling with your relationship.', 'You can get through this. Take some more time so you can look at the situation when you have a clearer mind. ', 'Your family and friends can help get you back on track.  Keep talking to them.  Ask for help in brainstorming how to improve your situation.  They can help you learn to accomplish what you want to.  You can find a way to make life enjoyable.', 'Talk to your roommate and explain how you are feeling. You put the pills away, that is an incredibly good first step', 'Please talk to someone (friends, family). They want to help you. If they dont know about your problems they cant help.', 'You can fix your life. You can find people to support you. Dying wont make you happy. You can find a way through this.', 'Please there other options.  There is hope for you.  Your friends and family can help you.  Be honest about how you feel.', 'There are other options.  There are people who want to help you and can help you.  ', ' It sounds like both you and your fiance are going through a hard time right now. Dont take the negative things that she says to you personally. She is under a lot of Stress and doesnt mean it. Please find a place to help you with your addiction. There are many clinics that can help you.', 'Try to talk to your mom about this. They care about you and want to see you doing better.', 'You can be strong enough.  Just keep trying.  Keep trying new ways to solve your problems.  It will all work out.', 'Life can be beautiful. It can be hard, too. It may seem overwhelming now, but when life becomes beautiful again, it will seem even more beautiful in comparison to the bad parts.', 'Please dont do it.  Things can get better.', 'Please go to the hospital now', 'I know its hard to look towards the future and to move forward, but you can do it. Just moving forward will help you in this fight against depression.', 'Your life will get better.  There are always new alternatives to try.  Try researching them to find ways to get over this bad period in your life.', 'Life doesnt have to be awful.  It can be meaningful.', 'Please give it some more time. There is still hope', 'Can you try to work something out with your school, especially in regards to your parents taking your money? Try to talk to one of their financial aid counselors. Can you take any community college classes instead? Try to find someone you can talk to. Talk to your brother and tell him how you are feeling.', 'Being in a new place can be Tired difficult. It will get better, though. Please, try talking to some people in your new country. Try to hang out with coworkers after work. Find people with hobbies you have in common, or find new hobbies to try.', 'Life brings new surprises.  Good things really can happen.  Try to go to different doctors to find a medical diagnosis.  It sounds like you could have depression, which can be helped and treated.']",Supportive
user-209,"['I know Friday might seem like its far away now, but please just hang in there. If you give up now youll never get to transition and youll never get to feel as comfortable as I know you deserve. Were all rooting for you.', 'Hey, sorry I was late in getting back to you.I know Im just a stranger on the internet, but trust me, it WILL happen for you. I wanted to kill myself back when I was 15 too. That was seven years ago. Seven years since I decided to keep on living and see what would happen. Im not a transgender person myself, but I do know that at 15 your life has barely even begun. I can only imagine that it goes double for you, as youre still yet to transition to your true gender, the true you.Like somebody else said, take it one day at a time. Just know that you can always come back here if you ever feel your Oedema of extremity going over the edge.']",Supportive
user-210,"['I hope you dont go through with it and are happy.', 'I have no information that states the individual or any has tried to make changes to the sub. If you have some please provide it.> If you think drawing attention to this subs flaws is a bad thing, youre sadly mistaken. Especially with a subject such as Depression.Where did I do this? Please answer promptly as you have now smeared my name on here.All I said was if it was done in a different way it would not have attracted the attention of the bad element that has been causing the problems in the first place.> shouldnt have had to ask the mods in the first placeSubreddits change over time, many people may not have seen a problem. > I think if you are any representation to the way this sub is run, someone like OP should have made a thread a long time ago.Would you please explain that comment in terms of the words I have used on this sub. If you cannot an apology would be acceptable.> edit : and roaming downvote brigades. But as long as the select few feel special. Ill be subscribing for sure now.I dont understand what this means. Who is feeling special? You are subscribing for what reasons exactly?', 'Take your meds', 'What do you want? ', 'Doctors are there to help, that is there job, they have heard all of this before. Just relax and explain what is wrong, as you would any other illness. It will be fine.', 'It happens. I wrote a few works while depressed. But I realised that there is no real reason to have to. I think it was more of looking for a reason to live. In my opinion, get healthy and then work. Once you get through or just manage your Depression you will still have the same reason to work creatively. ', 'well thats not a bad way to be either', 'be less of a muppet or enjoy time on your own', 'Since early teens, every single day I have thought about it.', 'I want to die.', 'it will get better and you will be okay', 'I dont know. I really dont.Positives are I am still alive.But why stay alive is you are weighted down by this constantly It doesnt make much sense.Constant Anxiety and Depression is not a decent life.', 'Perhaps you should go and listen to your therapist then. And speak to your doctor. ', 'yeah gotta get on it more', 'Philosophy', 'Thank you for your thoughts.', 'shall do my friend', 'No, I never thought of it, who would fire me anyway? I am a wreck.', 'Im saving that 20 seconds of courage for when I jump :-(', 'I do not have money. I do not have a passport actually.', 'Ok', 'Just need to get some things in order.', 'older but successful and happier (truly mean this)', 'I am happy that you have found something like that in your life :-)', 'I try to help everyone I can. I am not a bad person really. I dont even want to make people sad when I die. I have found a place where it will look like an accident. It is Tired nice. Beautiful spot.', 'I understand. Realistically all that is open to me is minimum wage menial work. Everyone says study but I cannot afford that and dont think my mind would be able to study again. So the offer is if I am lucky get a minimum wager till I get fed up. Great. Just great. ', 'Writing. But I have failed at that.', 'I wrote many things, finished, completed, had great hopes for them. Cannot get a production or a publisher. All avenues are dust.', 'yes I think so', 'Well to be fair i cannot answer questions personally related to you.', 'I think I was trying to hopefully help someone who was feeling down is all. I am a failure. I am too old to change. I cant change. It is a truth I have come to accept. Why the date? Killing yourself in Jan is a cliche and Feb is wet here. Sounds stupid but thats it. ', 'watch out for yourself', 'well good luck', '> Most recently, Ive seen people who have done a quarter of what Ive done in the industry get my dream job and now theyre set for life.Many people will dismiss this if they read it but I absolutely agree. This happens to me all the time. People with 1/10th the talent and ability and hard work ethic walking - FUCKING WALKING - into positions I would excel at.I use the Feeling angry though, the frustration, it makes me want to succeed even more - PETTY? So fucking what?I dont know if this helps, it did for me. But maybe think about it. Channel the negative into this.Good luck', 'This was lovely thank you', 'no utterly worthless', 'Go to a country that offers free, English-language university education, e.g. Germany.What?', 'I dont have the money to move to be honest. It might be scarier to move. With all this baggage in a strange place. If you know what I mean.', 'OP  it is the only thing keeping me alive at the moment.', 'Potential does not always work out. If you are wasting air you need to step aside.', 'Yes I do have one life. Mine. I chose to end it.', 'I am glad.', 'I dont disagree in what you are saying I disagree in the way that you did it. Very dangerous. I read 2 posts from users saying they wanted to post but were now afraid? That is not fair.And imagine if someone in real need is looking for help right now. Perhaps someone could have, but they are on here fighting or the poor child didnt bother to post because of some unwanted fear.It is a meaningless internet point. You have gone in the wrong direction here.', 'I dont see it. The reality is they will most likely get worse. Economic factors are unavoidable. ', '2 decades is enough. I cannot take any more failure.', 'If you are too much of a coward to defend your accusations shall I just tag you are such?', 'No I am tired. I have nothing. I never will. So much potential resulted in nothing but pain.', 'Answer that question and get back to us.', 'The job really is not important to me. I know that sounds arrogant but I just cant get excited over minimum wage in a shop at my age. That is if they are even out there. Recession in Ireland. Lots of people out of work. But the reality is I made a mistake with my degree. I thought I would be successful now. I cannot get my work taken by anyone. I have made my bed. I have failed. Maybe I set the bar too high, but that is where I will fall from. Onto the sand. The water can take me then. Perhaps I never will be found.', 'Sorry I was away from the internet. I looked into freelancing but I do not really have those skills. Sorry :-(', 'It has been 5 years since my last major episode, there have been a dozen minor ones in between but I cannot even do a basic exam or study with intensity for any period of time. I have a degree but I am unable to understand a lot of what I read.', 'Everything gives me Anxiety. Change is tough. No money or job, hard to find one here. In a position where my success is related directly to other people and there is nothing I can do about it.I dont know why I think about death all the time. Just feel like it is the natural state for me to be gone.That sounds stupid I know.', 'I wish you all the luck.', '33 hours. Fuck. I hope you get through it. ', 'All I am skilled is horrible min wage jobs that I cant even get. Its a pointless life. ', 'Your teachers used to bully you?Your parents tell you to fuck off?', 'I wish I could play it though it is fascinating.', 'I will try. I am afraid of getting attached. ', 'I go to one pub and like to watch Arsenal. I cant afford to go to a match really. I cannot own a dog as it would not be fair on the dog when I am dead.', 'They might. Or they might not.', 'I read some stuff and it did seem like it could help people so I would encourage others to.', 'I have been Depression clinically for two decades diagnosed. Every job I did made my Depression worse actually which is ironic.', 'I am sorry I just dont know if I have the energy any more ', 'I have no skills. I am not practical. I am weak. I have a liberal arts degree which is useless. Every job I did was minimum wage. That is all I can get. Sad really.', 'Why are you directing this at the userbase? The downvotes are coming from trolls who are not real subscribers or contributors to this sub. This is really misjudged my friend. And I think many of your upvotes are coming from the exact trolls who get a kickout of this. Just consider it.', 'I dont no. I think it is impossible to prove one way or the other but no.', 'Maybe I could. The shelter is many miles away without buses and I do not drive.', 'I make a lot of mistakes. People think I am worthless. I cause problems. I want to die quietly.', 'Every memory seems tinted though. That is the Depression.', 'I dont think you understand. They will upvote you, because they like the drama. They like the fact they are annoying subscribers on here. They will push you to the top so they can enjoy the fallout. ', 'In real life I am a cretin. I am alone.', 'be successful, cant do anything really, even on good days it only lasts a while', 'And you need one to teach :-(', 'I just was hoping other people might take solace is the conversation. I am gone.', 'I know this. I have said that my nerves will kill me before my Depression.I have no advice, I am still crippled, but I wish you the best. You can get through it, good luck', 'yes it does', 'You sound like you are 12. Go to a therapist and talk instead of insulting your friends.', 'I am physically ok it seems', 'why?', 'You could have asked politely and quietly, I think the ideas would have been taken on board by the community.> moderators capitulating the to the request/demand that improvements be made.Has anyone asked for these changes before? Mods?> In the end theyre only doing this subreddit a favor.Now you attracting all the worst parts of reddit to mess with the sub. You may have damaged it quite badly. This was badly misjudged my friend. ', 'I feel like one. Because of my failures. I think they are intertwined. ', 'I am awful at chess. I have never been so bad at a game than chess. ', 'Ive got a year so anything could happen. I will not be surprised if it gets worse.', 'I think I would be just a burden my friend. Way I am thinking now.', 'I cannot reconcile how anyone is to exist with such constant Pain. It does not seem practical. ', 'I have never heard of these jobs and after a Sharp Pain look around I doubt they are available here without some modicum of training in social work. ', 'Fill your life with other people who will care.', 'Please respond to my concerns, you have insulted and bad mouthed me on this subreddit. I wish to hear your explanations or an apology. ', 'Thanks, I took some time to myself since the post. Nothing really changed.', 'At the moment yes.', 'I am sorry but I think I have to. I cannot picture a life whereby I go to work, scrape enough to survive and return to an empty house for the next thirty years. Who would want that? Well maybe my ego. I am sorry.', 'Ireland.', 'Have you experience of this? I have friends in Berlin now who cannot find employment and whose money is running out. ', 'Seek help.', 'I have never heard of this in my country. I dont deserve it anyway. Other people should benefit from this.', 'This will soon make it to subreddit drama and you will have even more unfortunately. ', 'That is what I am thinking.', 'thank you', 'how do you know it gets better for meit probably wont', ':-(', 'I do but I will not say it to them.', 'Can you imagine working in Dunnes for minimum wage for the next 30 years? That is if I was lucky enough to get a job. Living in an overpriced rented house which takes most of your money? Coming home to nothing and no one. Watching RTE game shows in the evening. Crying. Afraid to get a dog because you wouldnt want it to starve if you decided to do something on the spur.Walking the city in the rain because you have nothing to do and no one to talk to. There is nothing there. It is empty. People pass content. You even envy the drunks arguing for at least they have someone to talk to. Summer ends and the last light goes down. It is orange. Tinted with strawberry but you see no beauty in it. Only shame. This will be my last summer. I might even go to the parade this year. Normally avoided it. I hate the fact we cant get guns easy in this country. I wont be able to cut myself, am terrified of things around my neck and pills are too dangerous. I am jumping off a cliff somewhere I know. It is lovely there. Perhaps it will be a sunny day. I want to die at sunset.', 'I like to drink. I like to watch the football on the television. I like dogs. ', 'Yes this is what I was thinking.', 'You shouldnt feel that much difference within mere hours of starting.', 'Nothing, it killed my love for it. I barely passed.', 'I dont get through every day well.', 'I understand.', 'I cannot get anything produced or published. ', 'Do you speak to a therapist? If not it might be a good idea. Your age is difficult for various reasons, and if you are feeling off it could be a variety of things. Why do your parents speak like that to you?', 'I have a bike, I must fix it up.', 'I unfortunately have a time limit.', 'I felt as much', 'Not at all :-)', '4 years now. I had a minor breakdown. The job situation is not the problem. I have hated every job I ever did and they contributed to my ill health. I am looking seriously now for anything in fear. I had one interview in 60 applications. I find solace only on friday evening when I know there will be no post from the government people. One more year. Thats it. I am Crying now. Happily Crying. One more year. Thats it. No more worries. Maybe it will come sooner if there is an accident. That would be good. Terrible childish thinking really. I am a grown man. Guess that makes it worse. I wish I had a handgun I could have an accidental discharge and no one would label me. ', 'no', 'No, are you on medication?', 'Unfortunately it is in a creative field and is out of my Weakness of hand for the most part. I submit and I wait and I am rejected. Cant afford to stage it myself. Doesnt matter anyway. Sorry about your father. :-(', 'me too, it was something small, i thought it was over, now i am here, have to leave house, break lease, sucks', 'Fuck that. Fuck them. Fuck your therapist who should be shot in the head.Do your own thing. Lie till you can move out.', 'I will have to look again. ', 'In my 30s now. Picked wrong degree. Applying for jobs as a car park assistant and a shop keeper part time. Wont be enough to live on. Seems rather bleak. ', 'No I dont find it frightening. I dont know what I think about it.', 'I am a waste. I am unemployed for years. I have no chance of anything other than minimum wage until I die. This is not a joke. I am mid 30s. I cannot afford to go back to college. There are no loans in this country like america. I let down everyone. I am constantly unhappy. I spent two decades like this. That is enough. I cannot say I did not try.', 'Oh mercy that is terrible. Hope you will be okay.', 'I cannot remember when I was last genuinely happy. That is the truth. I must have been a child.', 'I looked at the MFA. Cant afford :-(', 'Moderation - yes I have. No side effects outside of the normal - alcohol can be dangerous etc.', 'Mainly I would have to plan this event by saving out of 88 bucks a Asthenia (inc. food and bills) after I pay the rent. It is impossible.', 'Thank you.', 'No you are more important it should be about you. You seem to have real troubles.', 'my calling is to be a mid 30s man with no skill sets, unemployed for years who cant even get a min wage job in a shop and has no chance of reeducation or movement that is not life', 'Get diagnosed first. ']",Behavior
user-211,"['It sounds like you need to find someone who you feel comfortable letting your guard down and sharing your emotions with. It can be hard keeping everything bottled up and putting on a front to make it seem like everything is OK. If you can be honest with yourself and (some) others about your issues then I think it will be a really freeing feeling and it will be a lot easier for the healing process to begin. Therapy and suicide hotlines are both good places to start since it can be difficult to make yourself vulnerable to friends and family, but instead of letting these emotions fester inside of you, I think you need to share them with someone.', 'Just calm down, take a deep breath, and try approaching this with a clear head. Its hard to write even an English 101 paper when youre putting so much Pressure on yourself. Also, remember, if you fail a class its not the end of the world! People fail classes all the time. It doesnt mean youre failure, it just means that writing papers isnt something that comes easy to you. It might even be a good thing to get some extra practice by re-taking the 101 class before you move on to more challenging things.', 'Its good to openly talk about issues like self harm so that we can avoid more people hurting themselves in the future. I know it can be Pain to watch, but its really good that hes getting information out there, and you cant expect a show like Dr. Phil to put trigger warning on anything remotely controversial. Otherwise every episode would have one.', 'Yep, that happens to me all the time, too. I feel like I tend to push happy well-off people away for that Tired reason. Most of my closest friends are in one way or another struggling just as much as I am (though not necessarily in the same ways). Its not even a conscious choice. I just feel like people who havent been through the wringer have no idea how to relate to someone who goes through hell and back just to get up in the morning some days. But you are definitely not alone. There is nothing wrong with feeling resentment towards people who have what youve spent your whole life trying to get without even trying.', 'Please call 911, you can see there are people here that dont want you to die. I dont want you to die, and several other people have expressed the same sentiment. If you need someone to talk to PM me, post here, anything is better than dying. All I ask is that you give the people here one chance to convince you to live. Just give it one more shot. Call 911, and let us help you. Dont give up just yet, Im sure if you really dig deep you can find something worth living for.', '99% of them dont unless they are exceptionally graphic. And that type of warning wouldnt even help in this case since they are Tired general and wouldnt specifically say, ""Trigger Warning: Contains images of self-harm."" Really, the only reason any show does that is because standards and practices doesnt want graphic material airing during hours when kids might see it. But networks themselves would never have those warnings of their own accord because that takes up time and detracts viewers without providing any benefit to the network itself.', 'Feel free to talk to me anytime. Doesnt even have to be today, just know Im here to listen! ', 'I understand that it can be difficult to break a cycle of abuse, but I can tell you that someone who calls you names and makes you feel bad about yourself is not a support system. This is not someone who knows how to show his love for you in a healthy or respectable way, and the best thing you can do for yourself is cut him loose and realize that you can be a strong and independent person without him. No one should ever make you feel ashamed because you have a mental disorder. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.', 'I know we know nothing about each other, but Im happy to be your friend and get to know you if you want to talk!', 'If you cant trust your friends or your parents with your issues, then try finding someone else who you can start to trust. There are suicide hotlines, therapists (if you can manage to get to one), and things of that sort. There are actually a lot of suicide hotlines for teens, and I think if you called one up and had an honest conversation about all of your problems and concerns, you might feel relieved. It can be hard keeping everything bottled up. The people here are all really friendly and just want to help. Im sure if you described why you are feeling so horrible someone here would be able to help you out or direct you to someone who can.', 'As long as youve convinced yourself that it wont get better, it wont. Instead of catching yourself in a cycle of defeatism, try to be progressive. Think about the root of your problems and think about ways you can work through them. I understand how damaging and maddening Depression can be, but there are ways to beat it. And Im not saying this because I feel sorry for you, Im saying this because Ive been depressed, and I know how it feels to think things will never get better and you might as well be dead. But there are other options, you just have to seek them out.', 'Those Tired feelings of distrust because of physical and Emotional upset abuse are something that you should work through with a therapist. They arent going to go away on their own. If you learn to build trust with a therapist--and thats something you can take as long with as you need--then that will help you a lot. Combine that with medication and you will be well on your way to starting the healing process. If the alternative if festering in your Depression until you kill yourself, then what have you got to lose? Just give therapy a try, and go into it with an open mind. You might be surprised! ', 'You only get one chance at life, and one chance at death. There will be other opportunities to kill yourself if thats truly what you decide is best (its not that hard to find them). Make absolutely sure this is the one you want to go through with. This is something that you can never take back. This is something that you shouldnt even consider unless you have Exhaustion all other options. And I mean honestly Exhaustion them, not just in the defeatist mindset youve trapped yourself in. Take a step back, analyze your situation calmly and really try to consider your options here, instead of convincing yourself that this is the only one. This is not the way to happiness, this is the way to ending any sliver of hope you have at ever finding peace.', 'I think we all feel like that sometimes. That no matter how valid we think our points are we somehow arent able to articulate them in a way other people can understand. Its an uncomfortable feeling, but you cant let that get to you. It doesnt matter if anyone else trusts you on things, if you know whats best for you then thats all that matters. Take a step back and think about whether it truly matters what these people think. If all theyre doing is insulting and berating you, are they really worth your time? Are they really worth killing yourself over? The second you pull the trigger, theyve won. Dont let them win.']",Indicator
user-212,"['But it was never about suicide for you?', 'I know that when I get in my episodes, it helps to have someone near, maybe listen, never talk. Its good to feel alone next to someone else. We go through the same things, PM me when you want to feel alone with someone. Weve got a Asthenia of shit to get through. Lets do this together. ', ':(I hear that all the time, and I still dont get it. Perhaps an analogy? ', 'Same here. Getting an ambulance out there. Hopefully everything is okay.', 'I thought the EXACT same thing when I went.  And Im not gonna lie, there is some skanky floats that go by.  Know what else goes by?My citys mayor, Annise Parker and her supporters.  Members of the HFD and HPD.  Churches with their groups singing hymns.  Members of our military.  Athletes of our teams.  All gay.Thats the thing, being gay isnt a ""culture"".  Its just you.  Being gay doesnt make you limp-wristed, lisp-speaking, and effeminate.  Hell, I know straight guys that are like that.  Theres a barrier of preconceived notions that you have to see through.  Ive had friends, during times of drunk talk, ask me if I was gay.  Id ask why they would ask that.  They said because though I am attracted as hell to female bodies and get turned on by them, male persona seems to be attractive to me. And its kind of true.  My girl is 56, 110lbs and willowy as hell.  But she is VERY much like a dude in many ways.  One of my friends calls her Ovaries 2.0.All Im saying is that since this is a bit ""new"" to you, try it all out.  Put yourself out there and see what its all like.  Youre scared, I see that.  But fuck Fear and try it.  The first time my girlfriend and I went we were shocked at how beautiful and positive people were there.Dont be sucked in by what the tv shows you.  Yes, theres that.  But theres so much more for you to experience.', 'What sort of outlet did you end up finding? Or did the drugs take the urge away?', 'This made the most sense to me. Like depression, I suppose it is different for everyone.How do you suppose I could bring that up with her? To talk to her about it? I dont want to keep acting like I dont see it.', 'Update: Called and verified: Police on the scene.', 'I just got home. The weather is cool, I have my gf in her pajamas and my dog curled up next to me. I just got back from the bar where I was with two friends watching the World Series at Hooters, and have laid down.Two of those three people accompanied me to an emergency hospital visit one night when I had, with a clear head, decided to kill myself. They were there all day to see me through my counseling and my doctors.I am here for you.', 'So would you say it was connected to depression, or to the high you got from the masochism?', 'I saw everyone talking about going to LGBT centers and talking to counselors, and I read that the culture bothers you and whatnot.  Heres my tidbit...Im 31, straight but am comfortable enough to be attracted to dudes plus I have amazing gay friends that cover the spectrum from ass-less chaps to ones that are republican-conservative christians.  Heres what I think you should do, and please take it with a grain of salt because I cant even BEGIN to imagine what youre going through--go to a gay pride parade.My gf and I go every year.  Theres straight people everywhere, bi people, transgendered, and gay people.  Its an amazing experience into the various ""sub-cultures"" of the gay community.  Just go.  Dont do anything, dont say anything, just go and experience.  When you do, examine--*truly* examine how you felt there.  Examine how you felt personally.  Do you still hate yourself?  Is there a line that you cant cross? (I knew gay dudes who were gay but werent into the ""sex"" thing with their mates, but did everything else as a loving couple).  As in many cultures theres the sub-groups youll relate to and others you find ghastly.  Just go and experience.  What you need (I believe) is to meet others who were/are in the same situation.  Because you are **not** the only person going through this.  And who knows, maybe if you make it out of this okay, youll be able to help someone else.  But please, for an anonymous person who cares Tired much about you, just go.  Then make a decision.', 'Was it directly correlated to your feelings? Or did it also encompass your sex life too?I ask because people say it made them feel better, now I wonder if theres a connection to masochism in the bedroom.', 'So its a semblance of control?', 'Wow...did you ever realize how bad it was during it, liking it and all? Its one thing knowing its taboo, its another knowing its incredibly bad for you.', 'So for you, its almost like a punishment for yourself?I exercise a lot. My motivation for the Pain I endure is because I dont deserve to eat what I want. Im ugly, and have taken so much for granted that its ruined me and my life. So I lift weights to the point of tears and near vomiting. Is that similar?', 'Thank you so much for that *hugs*', 'You sound just like me except youre fine financially.Its fucked up isnt it?  What are we supposed to do?  Nothings really worth it.  Ive been Depression by whole life.  Im 31 and still struggle every day.  So many missed opportunities, so many mistakes that takes you years in repayment.  It would just be easier to sleep and never wake.  Sometimes I coldly think about ending it.  You know the type; not even emotional--just cold.  But the only thing that has gotten me from doing it...Curiosity.  Its funny.  I was going to be so pissed if I died before LOST ended and I never found out what the fuck the island was.  Before that, it was the prequel to the Star Wars movies...that was a regret.  My nephew was just born a few months ago...I wonder if hell turn out like me.  Depression and bi-polarism runs in my family.  What if he feels alone when it hits him?This girl Im with.  What if shes the one?  Fuck...I want to die.  Whats the point of all this?  I cant fucking tell you.  I dont know the answer.  Id like to think itll be easier...but what if it isnt?  What if it wont be?  I dont know.  But what I do know is this: if curiosity killed the cat, then maybe Im dying right now?  Maybe this is it.  Maybe I am killing myself but feeding myself the bullshit that Im just too goddamn curious about.  Theres so much I want to see!!  But theres so much I dont want to deal with.I dont know if this helped. But youre not alone. Im the biggest fucking coward I know.  The burdens are so hard (even as my bills are racking up) but I really want to know if Will Ferell will stay with The Office after these last few episodes.', 'You cant have anyone unless you allow someone who wants to help, in.', 'I feel it every day. I question my existence and why Im such a coward to do it. Its a battle amongst many every day.You are not alone. Your struggle is also mine. We can be alone together.', 'Thank you for answering!y question is how did you reconcile actual Pain, though? It seems like Major Payne where you break a finger to stop feeling a headache. Also, you mention a release of Pressure. Is this Pressure emotional? Chemical? How did it continue, and how come you didnt need it anymore?', 'I could be watching a movie. Playing some SC2. Maybe some LoL. But I saw your post and I want to. If youre not ready to talk, thats okay. I have all night, all day, any time. This, to me, is more important. I remember when I truly didnt have anyone to give me the slightest time of day. Not a second, not a question, not a ""Hey, howre ya feelin?"" Nothing. I wouldnt be so Sharp Pain to make assumptions out of the few people that have already replied, let alone, subscribe to this subreddit.', 'Obviously a clear understanding of privacy. ', 'Thank you for sharing that. Im beginning to understand a bit. Would you ever look forward to it? Or would the desire just come in the midst of an episode?', 'The common thing Ive heard, and from my sister-in-law who is a therapist, is that they do it to let the Pain out.That makes no sense to me. ']",Ideation
user-213,"['Thank you. In real life, I volunteer at a crisis hotline, so I talk to Tired Depression people on the phone and try to help them find ways to cope.South Africa! Though Im from the USA, my best friend visited South Africa to study the marine life there. She said it was a beautiful country. She scuba-dived with great white sharks and even went skydiving! If I were to visit, I would want to see the elephants.', 'They might be intimidated by you, its Tired possible. Also, you may not be approaching them in the right places or with the right attitude. Ill give you the resources I know that have helped other people like you.* [Dr. Nerdlove](http://www.doctornerdlove.com) Its full of advice.      * [How to make a good first impression](http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/07/make-right-first-impression/)      * [When NOT to approach women](http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/06/5-times-shouldnt-approach-women/)     * [Starting from zero](http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/01/starting-from-zero/)     * And lots more. Guides to ""cold approaching,"" skincare, fashion choices, even [How to get better at dating quickly](http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/09/get-better-at-dating-quickly/)* /r/malefashionadvice, /r/fitness, /r/skincareaddiction (I dont know if you really need this, but here there are just in case.)* even /r/amiugly is useful. If you want an honest appraisal of your looks, post a few pics of yourself to this sub. The people there are generally positive even in their honest criticism. (Ex. ""You really dont look attractive right now, but if you styled your hair better/lost weight/cleared up your skin/dressed better youd look so much better."") So, find out whether you are actually as hideous as you feel. Whats to lose?* A word of my own advice: Do you have female friends? If not, try to make some friends--seriously--before you even think about sex. Its hard to relate to women if you arent friends with any.* Also, hobbies? You are a more interesting and attractive person if you have interesting hobbies to talk about.* If you get impatient, a call girl might be a good choice for you. It may be worth the money to lose your ""virgin"" status--even if no one knows that but you. It could boost your confidence. You might realize that sex isnt worth all the hype after all. Dont get me wrong, sex is a wonderful thing, but you might be playing it up in your head as something its not.', 'Do you and your host have Dissociative Identity Disorder?', 'Honestly, it sounds as though you may have depression. Id *highly* recommend talking to a mental health counselor. I know that you think that a counselor wouldnt be any help, but whats to lose? It couldnt do any harm, and they might really be able to help you. Thats what theyre there for.', 'Hmm, a diagnosis from a doctor might Tired well Pain your chances. Im not certain that just seeing a therapist once would go on any ""records,"" so to speak. Im really not sure; you may want to find a reliable source for that kind of information.Anything else you want to talk about or vent about?', 'You have severe depression. Are you on any medication? If not, please do so, get prescriptions from your doctor. Theres a good chance that medication can help you feel better.Also, you say that your family cared a lot about you a few months ago, but now they dont, as if theyve forgotten. You need to *talk to them.* Seriously. Maybe your mom, since shes the most understanding. You are still sick, you need their support, and they need to understand that. Humans are social. We need to talk to people about our feelings and problems. Its not ""weak"" to do so, its healthy.', 'What are your thoughts on talking to her about this subject? Also, would you consider asking your male friends? (Understandable if you havent; its an embarrassing topic.)', 'You say that youre self-destructing. Whats been going on? What kind of experiences have you had to lead you to want to take your own life?', 'Thats what shrinks are there for, though. To help people like you. Also, you might really benefit from seeing a therapist or counselor, not just a psychiatrist. Most cities have low-cost services available for people without a lot of money. They charge based on a sliding scale depending on your income.If you live in the U.S., you can call 2-1-1 and get information regarding low cost counseling or psychiatric care.', '*Internet hug* You sound like one of the thoughtful, considerate people that I would want to be friends with.You say you live in a developing country. May I ask which country you live in? Just out of curiosity.', 'All right, it seems like thats not Tired helpful to you.Is there anything else you want to talk about? Just as an example, how have your sleeping and eating habits been like lately? Same as usual? Have they gotten worse recently?', 'Hey, Im really happy to hear youre still with us. We care about you.Again, if you want to chat online to someone anonymously, [theres a chat with trained counselors] (http://www.crisischat.org/). In my area, the hours are from 4-10 pm, M-F. Theres also 24 hour crisis hotlines you can call, depending on where you live. You dont want to regret your decision, only to realize its too late.', 'You *are* a girl, and dont let anyone tell you otherwise. Its just that your parts dont match up yet, but they can and they will. Its definitely not too late for hormones to work. Let yourself live long enough to become the person you know you are.', 'It must have been so sad to endure all this trouble in the last year, especially your illnesses and your girlfriend leaving you. I understand that youre feeling hopeless. Do you think that if you had a guitar again you would feel better? Maybe you could express your feelings through your music and cope with everything better.', 'Hi deadconscience. Please correct if Im wrong in the way I read your post.You had a Tired Pain childhood when your father abandoned your family. You were angry at him, and sad that he left. Fast forward to the present: Youre now feeling guilty because of the things youve done, including binge drinking, lying and possibly other things that could be harmful. Youve been doing this repeatedly, which you are ashamed of. And this shame has just built up, especially since you dont want to negatively affect your daughter. You want to be a good dad, but youre Anxiety because you think you havent been doing a good job. Also, you think that it is too difficult to change your behavior, and that thought overwhelms you.Is there anything thats happened in the last few days or weeks to cause you to make this post? Something that has reduced your level of coping?You can call me E, by the way.', 'Well, if you change your mind about the guitar, feel free to PM me.Would you like to tell me more about your Emotional upset place and why you think that it cannot be resolved?', 'Ive sent him a PM. But if you think hes in danger, you should probably contact a suicide hotline or maybe even the police.', '/u/baleful_of_hay. You are such a kind, humble human being, and youve struggled through so much this year. Your soul speaks to me in a way that I cant describe. Please, I dont want you to die yet. The world would lose a good person.', 'Theres a lot to live for. What do you do for fun? What about food you think is delicious? Or people you love/enjoy being around? Movies you havent watched? Inventions that havent been invented yet?', 'Yes, I took piano lessons for 8 years, though I dont frequently play nowadays. My father is an incredible player, though, and he often entertains our family with his piano playing.Anyway, it sounds as though you are set in your decision to end your life. Loss, struggle, despair, hopelessness. Sometimes being human is too much to bear. You have this strangers empathy, my friend.Im wondering...now that you have nothing to lose, are there any experiences youd like to have before your time is up? For some reason, [this post](http://www.reddit.com/r/casualiama/comments/2lbqym/traveled_to_mexico_to_buy_chemicals_to_humanely/) came to my head. Obviously, this is extreme, but personally, if I had a short time left, Id try some hardcore drugs, or Id hitchhike to some awesome place and watch the sunset, or Id read a novel that Ive always wanted to read, or Id have a threesome. Is there anything youd like to do?', 'I understand why its embarrassing. Hell, Id be embarrassed too if I were in your situation. Dating and sex can be frustrating and scary, especially if youre not socially confident.So, what are your thoughts on some of the resources I mentioned? Dr. nerd love, /r/amiugly, or maybe booking a call girl to get your first time over with?Also, are you contemplating suicide? (This is a suicide help sub, after all.) Have there been any other stressors in your life that could push you over the edge? (e.g., classwork, financial burdens, career problems, family issues)?', 'So youre feeling angry at society because it dictates that men have to do all the work to get dates. Youre Exhaustion by this process, and even following the formula has failed to give you what society has conditioned you to expect in return: sex. Youre also angry and frustrated because its relatively easy for women to find casual sex, but its not the same for men. Im also guessing that you are angry at society for labeling male virgins as ""losers"" and things of that nature.', 'In all seriousness, is it possible that you could PM me your address and Ill send you a guitar?', 'It sounds like you have depression, though, right? You said you cant concentrate and you dont find any pleasure in doing things, anymore. You might not be physically ill, but your brain is sick. You *can* get help. Theres nothing to lose at this point.', 'Counselors, I think, try to help you help yourself, if that makes sense. Theyre there to listen to you. They are the trusted confidant that you dont have in real life. They can help you work through the options and regain control of your life. Want to unload your feelings without being judged? Thats the place to go. Sometimes, just talking about your life helps you understand what you need to do. Counselors may make suggestions, but they cant fix your problems for you.Theres another subreddit that has a lot of advice about sex, and thats /r/seduction. Im hesitant to support that sub, because it can get Tired objectifying of women and borderline creepy, but it does seem to give men some success at ""seducing"" women.', 'Once again, thanks for your generous words. It is Tired late, like you said, so Ill be going to bed now. I hope we can resume our conversation tomorrow.', 'Can I know a little more about your situation before I try to give advice? For example, are you of a healthy weight? Do you keep yourself in good condition, looking clean and non-threatening? Do you dress in a way that complements you?Edit: Also, if you havent heard of it, [Dr. Nerdlove](http://www.doctornerdlove.com) is a website with some great advice for men. You can go through the basics of making good impressions, and theres lots of guides on dating, women, sex, and love.', '> Lots of short men do well with women. My brother, for instance, is 53"" and does well with women.', 'It sounds like youre overwhelmed with all these negative things in your life. Youre not enjoying your classes, youre frustrated because you perceive the other students as having more fun than you, and youre understandably Anxiety about the student debt that you have no idea if it will be useful in the long run. On top of that, you feel unappreciated by your father and alienated from the rest of your family. And of course you crave friendship, but you dont feel close enough to your friends to confide in them.Have you considered calling a free crisis hotline in your area or seeing a low cost counselor to help you sort through your life?', 'Sounds like youre understandably angry at women for not giving you the attention you need. And youre constantly overwhelmed with the feeling of being unattractive and inadequate. Has anything happened to you recently to cause you to make this post?', 'If you want to chat online with someone, [heres a link to a site where you can chat anonymously with a trained counselor.](http://www.crisischat.org) Theyll listen to anything you say if you want a friendly ear. In my area, the hours its available are from 4 pm-10 pm.', 'I volunteer at a crisis helpline and have talked to many Suicidal people. Please believe me that we *want* you to call and talk to us. We will not judge you, and theres no way that youre wasting our time because were there for people exactly like you.Theyll probably begin by asking, ""Whats going on with you today?"" Such a simple question, yet it often helps people launch into their problems.If you feel as though you cant physically talk, there are also online chat counselors at CrisisChat.org.', 'Please talk to someone. [Heres a link to a site where you can chat anonymously with a trained counselor who will listen to you.](http://www.crisischat.org)', 'Whats been going on with you?', 'That sounds frustrating, man. You try to engage them, they act disinterested, and then they dont want to meet up later, even though you ask. It must be difficult to work up the courage to talk to them in the first place, too.']",Ideation
user-214,"['Im sorry about your dad. I lost my favorite uncle when I was 16. I am now 22, but for a few YEARS I really struggled with his death, what happened was I closed myself up and didnt talk to anyone about it. I really downward spiraled and shit and I questioned life itself and how could such a nice funny warmhearted individual just suddenly die like that. Basically I realized that after 4 years of feeling depressed, negative and just overall like shit I was Tired about it. Also during that time my grades suffered, I dropped out of community college and had no real direction in life. One day I just broke down to my mom and started bawling my eyes out and I cried for fucking ours just babbling on and on and all she did was sit there and listen to me. After this I felt a lot better. I dont know why but I felt like I released all of these emotions and this Feeling unhappy building up inside me.   Sorry for the fuckin essay ha.    Anyways you could always join the military, get free travel, join a brotherhood, get in good shape, and get worldly experiences for a year or two, and get paid to do it. If you chose the right route in the military you could come out with some actual experience to apply to a job afterwards. Idk, for me military would be my option if my current plan goes south. I know that this toatally sounds like an ad for the military or something haha sorry.', 'You are posting because you have some sort of doubt, which is understandable. If you are in a medical profession I am assuming you have a decent amount of money. If not you could get a credit card with no intention of paying it back. Why not take one last nice vacation somewhere (with no consequences to your debt going somewhere expensive)? Id go to Bora Bora or something and go out with a bang.', 'I would at least wait for the Pain meds, Bleeding out sounds agonizing, even more so than the troubles at work you said youre having. Maybe you just need a vacation haha.. If you are really going to kill yourself, why not take out a bunch of money and just start spending it like crazy and go to some nice place first. Idk thats my messed up thought process for ya.The struggles of everyday life get so overwhelming and can seem a lot larger than they really are if you dont step back and look at them with a different perspective sometimes, and I think a vacation might offer this. Your job sucks, you are Stress as hell and deperessed? Make some sort of drastic change. Tell your boss to fuck of (if he/she rightfully deserves it) and just take some time to yourself or find something that excites you. I am currently looking for a job, and I feel so much Pressure from my friends, gf and family. My dream right now is to get into that agonizing stressful environment to start making money to support a family.', 'I doubt there is as much wrong with you as you think. Sometimes you have to put a little effort in to relationships and step out side of your comfort zone to try and make friends. I am plagued by social anxiety, like to the extent that I lie to people about going out somewhere and want to avoid any awkward interactions. It seriously sucked for a long time because I would feel like everyone was judging me or not accepting me but in reality I just wasnt making the effort to interact with people because I was too afraid. When I finally realized that I could determine my own fate, I started slowly forcing myself out of my shell and strike up conversation with strangers. Now though I am not cured and still get this anxiety, I have a network of people around that help me get through it. We all need social interaction and while the internet can provide a medium for this, physical real world contact is also necessary I think. People used to tell me that exercise would really help me feel better too, and I thought it was total BS until I started riding my bike and actually feel this weird positive sensastion hah.   If you do want to chat or anything pm me, if not thats okay too.', 'I am kind of similar to you I think, the only reason I posted here is because I have thought a bunch about suicide lately. People around me view me as a happy person too but its like no one really knows how shitty I am feeling. You say you try, and that its fucking exhausting... I am just curious what is it for you that you are not getting(out of life perhaps) that you want/need?  Idk for me, I  feel Pressure from other people to succeed and I dont want to let them down/ let myself down. Idk I have googled for things before, but you always get hooked into reading about something and before you know it you are reading a page of copy/pasted dont do it dialogue.']",Indicator
user-215,"['Right now? Travelling?', 'Im glad it helped. To think I was so close scares me, but every day Im getting better and better. Im EXHAUSTED but its worth it!', 'Better idea. Keep riding your bike and dont stop.Theres a scene in Gattaca where two brothers swim out to sea, and one brother is significantly stronger than the other, and every time they do this, he wins.The idea is to swim as far out as you can before you get scared and swim back.When the Asthenia brother wins, the stronger asks how.He said that he didnt think about the swim back.If you end up killing yourself anyway, it makes no difference, but at least try just driving for miles where you havent been.Maybe youll find something youve been missing.', 'http://i.imgur.com/4k2RY.jpg', 'That helped a lot, and Im on Amazon now buying Hitchhikers. I think that will help because moments when Im not doing anything, I tend to dwell. A book in general should help.Im Tired open with my girlfriend, she knows what Ive been going through, and Ive been pushing myself to go out. I think Im scared of being stuck like this forever, being disconnected. I want to get better.I kinda know that the way to overcome this is to not think about it, not to dwell, and sometimes I feel alright, and then I start thinking ""Hey! Im alright!"" and then I ask myself what Im doing to make myself better and then, tits, Im dwelling again.Its a bit bollocks to be honest.However, people have pointed out that I have complained about the spaced feeling whenever Im in a Tired stressful situation, like when I had a job interview at Time Out, and actually when I was in therapy, come to think of it.But thankyou, this did really help, and Ill take your advice. I want to get better, and Im going to really fight to do it. I break down into tears sometimes, and often I think its all pointless, but you know, Im going to keep going.', '""listen (thats a big one - so many people have things to say, but not enough people stay long enough to hear them)"".Fucking. Exactly.', 'I know how hard it can feel, Ive just come out of a Suicidal spell myself maybe a Asthenia ago.There is no Sharp Pain fix but to force yourself to see the good in the world.No-one can help you if you wont help yourself, and I know that you didnt get a fair deal to start, and certainly no-one will blame you for wanting to end it, but we cant change the past.The world is full of love, I promise. I was lucky, I had a network of people to support me, friends and family. I kicked the weed and drink, and Im well on the road to recovery.You need a big change, and I swear on everything, if you let it in and take steps to change your world, you will see that life is pointless in the end, but the ride can be fucking wonderful.I wanted to end the suffering myself, but now Im out I just want to take everyones hand who are there and drag them out.I dont know you, but I love you. The Pain has made me so much fucking stronger, and if you get through this, find love, make a family of your own, I know youll be invincible, and getting through this and being a success despite the ashes you came from will make you proud.You have every reason to, and I cant blame you, but I want you to know, you cant see it yet, but its worth it, I swear, I really, really do.', 'Those are all really good points, thankyou, I really think theyll help.', 'That really helped, thank you. What do you mean by non-dwelling, non-intrusive? Could you give me an example?', 'Is this the one where Stans mum and dad split up? Could be worth a watch again, thanks.', 'The UK, Kent, specifically.', 'Ive always wondered this myself, if when it gets too much, what if I just sold everything, and just started walking?When I wanted to stop, I could look for a job, or even stop when I found one in a quiet village, or even another country.Id start a new life, and experience everything.You dont have to kill yourself to end your life, friend.Just start walking.']",Ideation
user-216,"['Im still trying to figure that out myself. Probably because I have nobody to talk to. I just feel like whenever a stranger says they hope nothing bad happens to me I feel like they dont mean it. I feel like if they actually knew me they wouldnt have hope for me. ', 'I feel terrible about the situation Im in. I dropped out of high school 3 years ago when I was 15. Ever since then my life has gone down hill. Ive never had a job, never had a decent relationship with any female, that includes my mother, grandmother, and sister. My family has no hope for me, so neither do I. My sister has a car and her license, and shes 2 years younger than me. My Dad helped her get a car, when I dont even have a bike. I cant get a job because nobody wants to hire an 18 year old with an 8th grade education. Im just Illness of everyone around me, including myself. ', 'It does, I appreciate people like you, thank you. I also do feel better', 'Why do you hope I dont kill myself? Who are you to have hope in a Suicidal stranger?Your words of wisdom dont help me. ']",Ideation
user-217,"['Lately it hasnt been much going on which is part of my problem because I have no meaning in my life.  Not working right now,  no friends.  Just me and my puppy and I Fear that I am depressing her so looking to get rid of her.  It just seems like I have had to fight for everything in life only for it not to work out in the end ', 'Thanks for the suggestion but I know I have Depression her because around me all she does is sleep and up until recently I would go to petsmart to get her food and stuff and her reaction to other people is extreme Excitement and I dont get that from her.  She sighs a lot and looks Tired sad.  I am doing her an injustice plus I have hit all time low where I have been unable to work so I dont think I can afford her.  And also because of the cost cant think of any hobbies and never really had the chance to learn all the extras as a child as we were poor ']",Ideation
user-218,"['If youre still here, so am I. Ive been seriously Depression for many years, also. I will listen to you. ', 'I like your rants. They make me smile.  You sound like a great person I wish I knew better. Just responding to this post. I see another one above this one, so Ill read that one before posting more.  Just wanted you to know I think youre a real sweetheart. ', 'You actually were perfect. She knows who you are and wants the person she knows, not someone you think you should be. Its ok to be scared. Its ok to tell her youre scared for her...because you are.  The most important thing is that you follow up on your promises to her. If you say youll call her back, call her back. As many times as you think you need to. Just be yourself, only gentler if you tend to be a bit rough around the edges. Its you she trusts...so trust her instincts and remain as centered as you can regardless of what she tells you. Shes not looking for you to know the answers. She just needs to know youre there and that shes not a burden to you regardless of how long it takes to get through whatever shes going through.Youre going to be just fine, I can tell just by what youve posted and the way youve expressed yourself already...and Im a stranger. Its no wonder she reached out to you. And about saying ""your welcome"" back....next time you talk, tell her what you just told me. Itll make her giggle just a little thinking about how you Worried over such a small detail and your concern for her will shine through. Thats a good thing. ', 'Is it the physical or mental part of work that you dont like...or both?  ', 'You have a right to be scared. Your friend sounds like shes in a Tired difficult place in her life. But if she told you that she tried to kill herself, you have a couple of things going for you. One, she wants to live or she wouldnt have told you. Two, she trusts you enough to tell you what she did. Please dont pretend nothings wrong. The hardest thing to do in these situations is just to listen to someone and not try to fix things for them or give them pat answers to serious problems. But, thats really what she needs...a trusted friend to listen through the long silences without interruption or judgement until she can get the words out. Be honest with her without being glib or judgmental. When she ask you something, tell her the truth in a sympathetic way. She knows the truth already, most likely shes ruminated over it for a long time. Call her back and let her know you will be there for her until shes on the other side of this crisis. Listen for the underlying tone for clues to help her. If you get none, just listen. Tell her you care, that youre honored that she trusts you. If you need more, let me know. Ill try to answer your questions as honestly as I can. ', 'Are you still with us?  Because, if you are, Id like to hear from you and talk. I wont say all those things youve already heard...at least I dont think so. I wont try to stop you from whatever you plan (as if anyone really could.)  Id just like to hear whats going on in your mind.I check in here from time to time throughout the day.  ', 'Yeah...but I havent found any that werent in a pretty secure place with lots of loving support and a childhood full of good memories. ', 'I hear you...Im listening.  ', 'What are you doing right now thats not working? I read your post and I understand where youre coming from. Ive been where you are in lots of ways. Can you tell me a little bit more about whats not working for you?  ', 'Me, too. :-)', 'Well, at least theres that. In my case, theres so many things I want to do and Im just too Illness to do them now. But I can understand someone not knowing what a perfect day would look like. ', 'Let me add [this site.](http://blog.valerieaurora.org/2013/01/12/suicide-and-society-where-does-responsibility-for-preventing-suicide-lie/) It has some Tired good advice that I think will help you.  Also, some things that others have done for me that have helped:Read to each other over the phone. Sing the most ridiculous songs shes ever heard. Watch shows together over the Internet or cable while sharing comments about it on the phone (saved episodes when time zones are different.) Read Internet news stories that you find interesting to each other. Listen quietly by bluetooth while the other friend does ordinary things in ordinary ways. Etc...........', 'I completely understand.  Going through possibly similar experience.  Ill hold your virtual hand as you pass through this.  ', 'Tell me, do you think your state of being has anything to do with the world we live in, now?  Know what I mean?  Do you think theres a lot of us so alienated from ourselves because of the state of humanity these days...or its just a numbers thing? You know, the odds of being born dysphoric? If this question bores you, just ignore it like I do when people ask questions that dont interest me.   You dont owe anybody anything. ', 'Ok, Im just going to be honest here and ask...what kind of women are you asking out? The ones that everyone wants? Or the nice-looking females that get looked over?  Youre a good-enough looking guy, but if youre like a lot of men, youre ignoring a shit-load of nice average women and going for the prize ones.  Not gonna happen for most guys like you unless youre the luckiest bonehead on the planet. Just telling you the truth. Not trying to be mean, but being Suicidal myself has wiped out my need to gently coax people into being open to whats attainable. ', 'I read it, too. Your mother is the devil incarnate if shes anything like what you describe.  Anyway, just how bad could you have fucked up your nose?  I mean, is it Michael Jackson bad? Because if you still have anything close to a normal nose with cartilage and nares, youre going to be fine facing the world until you have the surgery...honest.  You should see what I look like some days - face covered in scaly wounds from food allergies. I look like I got hit by a mace. People stare. I dont care anymore. Rude bastards. I just look back as if nothings wrong. Sometimes I smile if I feel like it. Most of the time I just look right through them. I still gotta eat, so I gotta go to the grocery store. If they dont like it, too bad. I cant fix it. Hell, thats the least of my problems. Regardless, just thought Id add my two cents.  As for that friend...honestly, I wouldnt pin my hopes on anything too much. It might happen, but six weeks is a long time not to respond...unless hes like me and doesnt look at email Tired often. Text him and see whats up. Cant hurt. ', 'Oh, and youre welcome. That really wasnt intentional...just me being forgetful, as usual. :p', 'Why are your days numbered?', 'No bother at all. Thats why Im here, tbh. I wish I had a better answer, but something sure sounds fishy, doesnt it?  Is she that kind of person?  You know, the kind to use you like that?  If she is, then shes an asshole of the worst kind. Heres what Id do: Id give her one more chance to explain herself and tell her just that. If she responds, ask her point blank wtf is going on. Tell her what you told me. If she doesnt respond, and you can see shes posting on social media - write her off, shes playing you. And, if it were me, I wouldnt give her the satisfaction of a response after that. It would be no contact from that point on because shes not the kind of person you want in your life. You deserve better than that kinda crap, believe me. No matter how often I see this type of behavior, it still baffles the hell outta me.  I mean, wheres the fun in making a nice person suffer like that?  ', ""At this point, as a physician, alarm Bell's palsy are going off in my head. Can we take a moment to consider an organic reason for your dysphoria? Not trying to be one of *those* people, but when was the last time you had a physical with a general chem panel run?  If its been awhile - or never - there could be a relatively common reason for why you feel the way you do. The hypothalamus-pituitary-thyroid axis could be out of balance for you. In simple terms, you could be feeling the way you do because your endocrine system isnt functioning properly.  I would like to urge you to see a physician for a work up.  There could be a Tired simple answer for you that would improve your life immensely. Its absolutely worth a shot to check it out.  Id be more than willing to talk to you about it more if it turns out to be a contributing factor. Not that I wouldnt anyway. "", 'So, if you could imagine what a perfect day would be like, what would it include?Not just being a dork, here.  Im genuinely interested in what others who want to die feel like. ', 'First, I know you know this but I need to say it just in case youre not thinking about it right now...you are not responsible for your friends happiness or her depression. She is the only one who can decide to live or die. You are not to blame if she chooses to end her life. If youre feeling like youre in over your head, its important to know where your limits are. And then decide how far you can comfortably work with her. At this point, if your limits have been reached and youre feeling anxious, then *you* need to talk to a trained professional about your own feelings of helplessness and listen to their words. Let them help you with your own Stress in this situation. If she is pulling away, you cant make her come closer. All you can do is be there if she decides to choose to talk to you. Just like Im doing right now with you. This is important to know deep in your heart. And thats one thing you can say to her if it will help. Tell her how important she is to you. That you will listen without judgement to whatever she wants to talk about, but only she can choose what she does with the feelings she has inside...and mean it. Tell her youre confused by her latest statement about ""gods love"" since shes never been religious, could she tell you what she meant or does she want you to drop it. Let her responses guide the conversation. Let her know that she is the only one with the power to reach out and choose to live or die. That you know shes suffering. That youre there regardless of what she decides, but you can only help if she wants you to. Now heres the hard part. If she doesnt respond, you cant make her. This is hard to understand. And it can make you feel extremely helpless and afraid. But its true, none the less. If this happens, its important to give her the suicide assistance numbers you feel are the best for her situation whether she responds or not...and then talk to an experienced professional about whats coming up for you with this. If she does open up, then know that talking about her plans to end it will *not* make her commit suicide. It will give her a safety zone to express herself. Try not to shut down if she begins to talk about it, but if it triggers your own points, be honest about that with her and suggest that others who are more trained and experienced might be more helpful - but still, you know its up to her if she wants to talk to them. Lastly, do not make promises you cant keep. If something feels wrong, dont do it. Trust your instincts. Let me know whats happening. Im here. ', 'Im just gonna say it - your boyfriend is an idiot. What kind of person leaves someone they love because they cant have kids? In the age, with so many kids that need adoption, with so many people crowding this planet, to give up love because you cant biologically reproduce your partners genetics by natural methods is beyond ridiculous. Obviously, he isnt Tired bright or he would know there are many alternatives to the issue of having his own kids through your future pregnancies.  Give yourself time. Talk to people. Consider not making any decisions for awhile. Check out this sub, /r/childfree.  Good people there. ', 'Dammit, sweetie! Im sorry that happened to you. ', 'No worries, love. Gave me a reason to live...even if for just a bit. So, thanks for reaching out. ', 'Well, you seem like a really decent guy with plenty of talent and lots more going for you.  58"" is by no means dwarf territory. Most women I know would be falling all over themselves trying to be with you. What thoughts have you had on why you get friend zoned by women?  Because just one of your talents would be sufficient to keep many many women interested for a lifetime if you have enough confidence in yourself. Do you think maybe the few times you have given it a good shot and not succeeded have zapped your charisma a bit? It happens to the best of us, you know. ']",Attempt
user-219,"['I totally get this. I have suicide / death fantasies at least a dozen times a day. Somehow Ive made it into my thirties though, and oftentimes now Im able to laugh at the little fantasies. Im not quite as smart as you, but Im in the hood. The biggest thing about smart is that its not good for much if you dont give a shit. Its like being super strong, but you dont feel like lifting anything heavier than 10 lbs. All I can say is to try to enrich your life. Youre like an oak sapling that has no nutrients/ sunlight. Figure out what interests you and do more of it. ', 'If your mom is having financial issues, paying for your funeral will not help. ']",Ideation
user-220,"['true, I based my conclusion on bad stories really, Ive heard some good but they seem to be a minority who most of the times have an unusual condition. and like you said, most people who are on medication dont recommend them to others. Ive heard your story a few times.Ive never heard of Hypothyroidism tho, I will digg into that, but i doubt it is what I have. 5 years ago I was in the same place as now, but in a less degree. I did a lot of research and rebuild my mind from the ground up. clean slate and trying to be positive again.school, it worked out 2 years ago my life was going up, had a nice job a nice home, and i could go on vacation without to worry about anything really, then the crisis came, and took everything Ive build in 4 months, lost everything. Im now back living with my mom because its almost impossible to hold a job longer then 3 weeks. the market is just screwed up. from then I slowly got back in this dark place. Ive tried. believe me I tried. I just watched everything i worked so hard for die out. I tried even harder then before to regain it. but no success. all the doors are closed for me now. The only thing i can do is go back to school and start a new career in a different sector. getting a bigger debt and wasting 4 years of my life again. But I feel its just the government and stuff playing games with us. I dont want to be a pawn in their schemes.  aandd now im here.. ', 'Thnx, I will! :D', 'yep, The doctor gave me some reassurance that its only for the first 2 weeks, and you have to push through it if you feel a lot of side effects.Im on my second day, i havent noticed much yet. just a floating feeling and strangly last night my shin Pain when i went to sleep . today Ive read it is also a side effect.. So many side effects.  But indeed, im also wondering what it will do with you personality.. If it helps I can share my experience with you these 2 weeks, than I have another appointment with my doctor. to see if Its working or not. Im still kinda skeptical, but im willing to try it for these 2 weeks.', 'This hurts reading bro,  like a shadow searching for light,  but the light wont accept any shadow.  Stupid metaphor but I had the same thing with my closest friends,  I even told them In tears, you guys are right,  everything will be fine,  with a smile.   While dieing inside..  After that I never or hardly let anyone know how I really feel.. I wish we could get together and just show each other what potential and beautifull people we are. ', 'Thnx for your reply! just what i was looking for :) Its the same as prozac ive been told. I feel the same way as you so thanks, that is reassuring. the Depression is priority to get rid of, so im willing to go through the first 2 weeks. :) im already looking forward to it. I have another question if you dont mind; how did the first weeks influence your work and social friends? should I just stay low profile for 2 weeks or didnt it had a big influence in your daily life?', 'Hey, Im kinda in the same spot, some days its better, some are worse. You can talk to me anytime, maybe we can ease each other Pain :)', 'ah dude, lets try this out first, Ive started the same way, I was fed up with the redundant music on the radio and t.v. and tried to make my own, something new and fresh, that was about 10 years ago, when i was round 16is, always been a hobby, every minute of free time I had went in music or dancing, The best outlet there is, Not exactly knowing what your doing, but the little things you know get you there. now I have a budget studio, and pirate software:P but heck I can do what i love, and if i use it for commercial purpose, I will by the stuff i used, to support the creators for giving me the tools to express my feelings. Ive experimented with all kinds of styles, I started with trance, (easy to start with) then house,hip hop, jazz, everything i could get my Weakness of hand on, even tried, (still am) playing the guitar/drums/bass. I already am decent on a keyboard, and i write my songs also.Everything is self taught also, so i think we can learn a lot from each other, now i make more ambient/hiphop stuff, or just crazy ish https://soundcloud.com/shifait-kuyperCheck it out, and you will see that the lazy and Numbness in it, i just cant get myself just to really finish the projects, or just give it its full potential. I just go with the middle and be satisfied.Still i feel like we can help each other in that at least, I know the i feel you bro, wont help a lot, but try it out, maybe we can make the cup half full instead of half emty ;)', 'Thnx for the boost.  But honestly,  I feel the same way,  all the hard work and hours feel more useless, that drains my hard work ethics and motivations..  Lets make this deal.  Lets make sure we both make it.  By sharing a track ones a Asthenia you made in that Asthenia,  or something like that,  that way we can give each other tips or just share an eargasm moment.  Anyway let me know what you think about that.. ', 'Ive just posted also.  But your feeling is what bothers me a lot,  I have the same of similar feeling..  That alone feeling.  Knowing they wont understand anyway,  and if you try they act like they have to comfort you, when only all I want is an honest opinion,  or just the sparkle in your eye that you seem to connect with the situation Im in.  And that makes me feel so spoiled.  What makes it worse.  Because Im not someone who easily opens up or ask for help.  And then to still be helpless. Is such a downer emotion.. I dont have any solutions,  but  you arent alone.  I know a lot of people are going through this,  but still it feels so lonely. ', 'Dreams take a lot of effort to realize,  but there a lot of types of work ethics and goals,  becoase we all want something else in life. The thing is we like to judge others by our own efforts,  for me thats the problem,  just live how you want to live, heck if you want to live on the streets  go ahead,  I wont look down on you thinking Im so much better only becoase Im following orders.  Only the beholder knows what his/her dreams goals are,  and if they reached it and are enjoying life same respect.  We all die the way we were born anyway..  ', 'I have a shitty health care so it would cost me a shitload. And honestly I dont see how someone who listens can help me. But to be fair Ive tried it twice and im really stubborn. I you cant prove me wrong or come up with a better solution. Ive lost my interest and go back to my own drawing board. I have a small background in psychology and philosophy and history(and that screwed me up the most how we treat people that offer us the road to happiness) Michael Jackson my biggest and first inspiration in life. And look how the world repays him. He was the first one that made me hate the world. I did explore my Pain and issues, but they are external. And I tried to ignore/twist them, but its just adding fuel to the fire. And I dont want to use any medication, im not that kind of guy that wants to manipulate my body to block certain feelings. I have to deal with it. but sadly Ive come to this conclusion. Its just that I feel like a mental slave that lost his connection to live the same dreams and goals of this world. But the real world is too dark for me.Or Ive learned the hard way how fragile and Asthenia I actually am. ', 'You can pm anytime', ':) I appreciate it but my mind is too far gone. I guess this is the wrong place to ask to help me for the tools to do it myself lol. But you guys are awesome! sad that in real life its the opposite.', 'https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4uiNadzcME&list=UUPdp_RAwS93XCBeAnSTLq7gthis guy makes it all worthwhile! i\xc2\xb4m sure you\xc2\xb4ll like his work', 'twice but it didnt lead to anything. ', 'Thanks for your reply, I feel like Ive wasted a lot of time twisting on this with all your positive replies :D ,  The trade of is more than worth it in my opinion hearing your opinions dealing with them. Thanks for the reassurance:) ', 'Im  27 , black, depressed/recovering(most of my life) Been in denial till 16, rebelled till 23, 23/now Ive been studying and trying to find the truth behind all the emotions, and trying to place my own hate/grief in a place where i can use it as a learning tool, then a tool of anger.  Having said that my opinion is that as human beings we have to reflect on our history and put in a balanced context.  But as black people, we have to find a way to deal with the negative self reflections.almost by nature we grow up hiding our bad sides and walking on eggshells, while trying to fit in with 200% effort. Its still a long way, but weve come a long way also, History/culture books from African scholars, and traveling slowly made me think from a human perspective again. The world is a big place, with a lot of people. Propaganda does a lot of damage, but face to face we still see each other as humans most of the times. And also the (deep)close minded ones are on the verge of extinction.(thats why they bark so hard) The WW-Web broke so many barriers and were still seeing the results of it on a daily basis. As advice, I can only say that there are also a lot of good sides of being black, and a lot of brothers before us reached a lot that makes me proud to be black.(Michael Jackson is my role-model, music wise and as a person, making something positive out of negativity) We are masters of adaptation without losing yourself. Mold yourself in who you want to be.Be safe, you have seen the sun set, now see it rise http://www.reddit.com/r/history/comments/2g00aw/the_best_university_history_courses_you_can_take/ Free history courses, ', 'Thanks for your reply, True and I agree, its not that it will change your life on itself, but the boost is all i really need, and hearing that it does just that makes me happy that ive already started it. But Im not in therapy in the way of a psychiatrist or psychologist. (Im really stubborn and slowly starting to try other options) do you recommend professional counseling while on the meds? I do have close friends with who I can really open up to, but its me all the way that has to work through it.', 'Thanks for your reply and wow! they do sound like wonder pills reading your story XD, Im happy for you that they worked so good! I hope im next :D . Youve named all the tools I need to pick up my old self again and living my dreams again. I have another question if you dont mind; How did the side effects influence your first 2 weeks? with work and social aspects in your daily life? Im curious what is the best approach to it.', 'Im sorry I was not clear. Its not a medical condition. its a mental condition I have for over 10 years. Living in my own delusion of hope and dreams. Ive stopped doing that and became more like a realist. And that made it all worse. But Its was my own choice to know the truth then live a lie. Now that I know I feel like there is nothing more to prove.Im sorry to hear that. My condolence and I wish you all the strength and positive energy. You and your son dont deserve it. I cant imagine how hard it must be on you to carry it all on your shoulders with a smile. In my situation its only my mom. I love her so much that the only reason I went on for so long is for her. She often told me that Im the reason she sticks her neck out for us. I dont want her to think its her fault. She did everything she could, and I wouldnt change her for anything. For the rest I couldnt care less. People in general are selfish scum and this world wont change for the better. Thats how I really feel. People dont seem to really care/change the way I do. My story in short is. Ive tried to share my knowledge, time, money and energy without wanting anything for it in return. To make this world a better place. But Ive learned that human nature cant be changed and that the world is like this for a reason. What people give you in return is crap and delusions. So I have nothing left to do here. I hate the state were in. Everything is going for the worse. And Im Illness of heaving to go along with it. Like playing chess with cheaters. Whats the point. Ive worked in a hospital and for a while I had to clean the rooms of terminal ill people who had radiation treatment. And honestly with her body so weak. I saw a person shining bright with life. I wish I could traded my life for hers. When I walked out of the room I felt real bad how unfair it all is. I went there every time I could and talked to her trying to light her mood.Wow I didnt wanted to talk this much but just make it a little more clear.I am just done. Fed up and have no motivation for anything anymore. Im selling all my stuff and making sure I dont leave things unsettled. The only thing is I cant find any information how to create your own lethal cocktail. I dont just want to off myself in a horror situation. I want to make it seem I had a heart attack or something like that. just for my mom so she can live her own life instead of worrying about me. She deserves better than a train wreck for a son.', 'The brain can be our greatest help, or our greatest enemy. I have my own experience with thoughts that dont seem yourself. Trying to talk and finding reason behind them helped me a lot to calm myself a bit better. if you want to talk you can pm me :)', 'Thank you for your reply, you have answered a question I also had. I make music, dance, etc. I mean my creativity is a big part of who I am. But like I said youve answered it already. My priority lies in changing my life/thoughts to positive instead of negative. It also shows in my music/creativity(mostly dark and mysterious). while im a/I was always smiling positive kinda dude. I have an appointment with my doctor in 2 weeks, Ill make sure ill tell him how my experience was. So that we can pinpoint the right dosis sort of speak. But all of your feedback is helping a lot. I already feel more positive and like there is a goal to reach or a way to end the circle. :) feels really good:D thnx.', 'I help myself, by helping others, so i know im not useless, and that we all have our ordeals, but our mentality makes how we react to it, ', 'knowledge was all I was ever interested in. A proper understanding. And I feel I got what I wished for. The truth is stranger/darker then fiction. Ive gained all these beautiful gems. But a sheep doesnt know what to do with a gem.. So yeah nothing more to see here. so Im trying to move along.', 'Hey,  you can talk to me,  or we can play dark souls if you re on pc. There is always a sunbro to help :) ', 'I know exactly what you mean! it was walking with the same thing for a half year now, my mom works in a hospital, and she had her own share of Depression but never tried any medication. So I feel you bro, for me it was just the last straw, and with the positive power I had left I just went for it. My mom is still skeptical, but she agreed that if the doctor thinks its for the best. at least I have to try. I just want a change for the better. But i will keep you updated on my situation. I just hope more people will share their stories also. ', 'thanks, It made me really think. I have a lot of those symptoms, and I recognize that being aware of those things is better than suppressing them. Lot of suppressed rage, and Sharp Pain to walk away. Not really understanding why. I made the first step anyway with the meds, so why not give it all a chance. Thanks ', 'True, but I have trust issues and because of that I feel like the only one I can/have leaned on is myself. And its that the beauty can be destroyed much faster than it takes to build it up. In a context. Im just Tired making a sandcastle only for it to be washed away to start all over again. I understand that every time I rebuild I can create something better then before. But my focus has been absorbed by the sea. Why its behaves this way. The sea is in that context the human nature. I dont want you guys to worry about me. And to be fair, the information Im looking for is harder to obtain than I thought. If I had a shitload of sleeping pills at this moment I still wouldnt hesitate to use them. Im set on that this is my best solution. Tho it feels good to let my thoughts out. Even tho you guys know more about my situation than most of the people that know me for almost my whole life. And you guys do a good job trying to talk me out of it. If I was in doubt I wouldve question it. Maybe I shouldve tried this sooner. But Im determent. Im Numbness beyond the point of caring. Im a emotionless zombie. Being a waste of space and money. Ive already started selling my stuff and I really dont feel anything with it. A milestone in my life was having my own budget music studio. The most energy I put into anything. And for a time my music was my outlet. Now I already sold my precious mic. And I didnt even feel any remorse. Im fully aware that my mind has already fully given up. And Im a realist. I have no more fight in me to try.. Im really sorry, I want to give you a happy ending. But all I can say is I will be in peace. I just want to do it in an sophisticated way. before it gets worse and I try to end it in a painful/stupid way. Also kinda foolish, I guess I dont want to come over as an act of desperation. But that is also fooling myself.Anyway I appreciate you guys really. It isnt fair of me to ask people of helping me kill myself. ', 'You can pm me anytime :)', 'Thank you! I will take your tips to heart, and I already feel more confident that it has something worthwhile the whole side effects. Thanks for your opinion, i will continue my daily life, I dont have a lot of interactions on social basis, so im sure that ill manage then :D, thanks again for the reply, Its reassuring that it can help me come over my Depression.', 'You want to share your knowledge with  me then? Crappy producer here,  can use all the help I can get.  :) ', '""Maybe people living life differently are actually living it the way they want free from the burdens of society and are truly happy - maybe I should see that as their success because they got what they wanted afterall.""Exactly where i was trying to go, some (ignorence plays a big part) are happy the way there life is, more of the foundation and the daily routine, if its going well, why look at the bad, and even why bother, Thats why people that are in Pain or Pain rather try to fix it themselves , then listen to someone who cant understand you, and thinks there education can fix things. And ive noticed that most times, its just about venting with someone, who honestly will listen, and understand your position.  instead of the feeling like you are wasting someones time and killing their vibe with your negativity.But to be honest, I can hardly believe that you rather do nothing, than the things you like and love, even reddit brings a smile on my face every morning before Ive even seem anyone. It helps set the mood in the morning. The exceptions you are talking about, care to share your personal goals, or likes? expectations are always a big deal to us personal, even if its something little like saying I love you everyday, And as long as youre breathing, your still working with your expectations, even if it will take you another 10 years, who cares, as long as you can smile at the end, knowing you reached the things you liked to try and see in life.And try to look more at the little things, you say nothingness, but everything we do is something, a lot of small things can pile up to something big.Just sharing my experience,', ':) stay strong.  And Im here if you need an ear to talk to ', 'That helped me a lot! im sure it will do the same to you, you also have a month, just take your time, if it works after two weeks ill make sure to let you know ;)', 'I have the same, but Ive changed the way I give advise,  half of them slowly stopped asking me for advise,  but the change is important. Usually they ask me something Ive felt myself before or went trough something similar,  so now I tell them honestly,  the + sides and the -,  the way how I feel them,  those who are genuine and can look inside them self, open up more,  and the bound is much closer.  Now we just philosophise more about our limits and downers, in a self sufficient way, then how we should behave in the eyes of others. Or in dealing with it.  Ive noticed that the once who slowly left,  are the ones who are trying to force there way out. Now I have a more win win situation,  and it feels more genuine..  Just sharing,  I didnt really realized it before I read your post. ', 'Same,  its more now like how long will I keep this up. If youre forcing yourself to live, it isnt fun anymore... ', 'he tried, but didnt want to use them. Im kinda anti drug use. but as I said stubborn and try to do everything myself and with willpower.. well I use to have a lot of that. did you tried some meds? my mom had some once the downers things that block emotions. when i saw here like that I didnt told myself that isnt the answer', 'Nah, love you guys,  been reading a lot of post after venting with this one,  it really helps a lot.  You guys are life savers. Now that I know where I can share these feelings,  or if I need prove that we share the same feelings,  and we are in this together,  we all are strangers,  yet feel so connected to each other..  That made the smile of the day for me.  And some fuel to keep on moving.  Thnx for the reply :)  I wish you the best of luck and love and hope I could make you smile as I did :) and I will keep that offer:), gives a nice feeling knowing I have a place to vent/express.  Knowing we understand each other here. ', 'I have the same. Its gone to a point where I dont even bother anymore. Ive Isolated myself mostly out of protection. It sucks but I dont see a solution or a middle way to go out everyday living a lie with a fake smile. and I cant stand it longer than a hour or so, then my natural balancing system comes up, and try to neutralize the conversation. like a but in this case its not the same. and then I realize ah I made a unpopular comment. and just shut up and wait for a good time to bail. Now I havent been to a birthday or a party of a friend for over a year. people seem to stop asking, and Im actually happy with that. Real awkward and strange state to be in.. Not wanting to be antisocial. But cant deal with people at this time.', 'True!  Poetry for the soul.  And I am actually now at the moment.  You guys man. :) ', 'Thanks for your reply, :D lol I have the kind of  body build that just cant gain any weight. I already eat for 2 people so that wont be any problem in my situation :D, Im/was also Tired active, training a lot, being creative, it was my biggest outlet dealing with my Depression. But it even took that over. My body now just moves without any real feelings. Thats why I really started the meds. Im already at the point of losing myself . But wow how can one post change your day! in the morning hearing my mom on the phone telling me its not a good med. to hearing so many positive reactions that really made me look forward to it. And not like its a placebo treatment with only side effects. Thanks again. 3 years is a Tired long time tho, is it a high dosis that you have to use? and can you see yourself again without using any meds? sorry for the rude questions but I agree that the tradeoff is worthwhile. and hearing that the workouts give you such a boost(which is awesome! keep it up) that you already made the goal for yourself to get off the meds eventually:D .  just wondering if time can really heal someone out of his Depression, while on meds. Or that it can be a lifetime med that we have to use..', 'Nice one.  Ive been playing dark souls.  And you reminded me of a sunbro mate of mine who used to help me.', 'True, and she is aware of my condition. She is just helpless and has to watch how every time I get up I fall further down. She has a harder time with it then me. We have a good relationship and spoke about it for a year. But Ive reached a point that Im unreachable. She doesnt know how to react, and I dont have the strength anymore to keep a facade up. She is my world, and I know Im hers, it just Pain so much not being able to give some of it back that she has offered me. She offered me life and I cant even hold that together. I cant even offer her my smile anymore.. I dont know how to coupe with this situation any longer. And I know that my death wont do her any good. I guess I kept that in mind to ease the Pain of leaving her behind all alone.', 'Im at a third of it right now reading :) interesting book, but I just wanted you to know that Ive put my head up yet again and, try to stay strong and will forward the favour on this tread as you helped me:) I will let you know my opinion of the book when im done :D but thanks for listening to me, I really appreciate it:)']",Ideation
user-221,"['I will PM you when I get on my laptop. I would have put my life story on here but thats just too much typing on my phone. Idk. Im just really, really scared right now. Im 16.* copied this from one of my old posts.. I have always had a shit life. I know this sounds cliche but its true. Maybe Im overreacting.. I probably am. But it just sucks. I literally can not remember a happy memory before I was 8. Its all just my parents fighting and breaking shit. And one time my dad got mad and hit me. And he hit my mom. And my parents got divorced. My mom married an alcoholic, and my dad married a woman who hates me. My stepdad likes to kick us out of the house when he gets drunk. He gets drunk a lot. And my stepmom just is spiteful. As if home wasnt enough, I hate myself. I know Im smart, but I cant focus. At all. I try so hard, but its like my brain doesnt want to cooperate. And I hate myself. I hate every fucking thing about myself. Like how I ruin every relationship Im ever in. And how I dont have the attention span to do anything I am actually interested in because its too hard to learn about it... Im not even strong enough to kill myself. And thats all I want.I know Im being melodramatic, but I cant handle this. I cant. So many people have it worse.. and I just feel like shit for myself. Im a horrible person. I. Want. To. Die.', 'I have a problem web habitual activities so writing my feelings down wont work. As for meditation... really??? And whats biofeedback?', 'Maybe Im wrong but that seems Tired contradictory. If Ill never get over it, why would I want to keep doing this. Its too much. I just want it to be over. Ive talked to people. Im out of options.', 'There was a whole list that was already posted. Excercise, writing, singing, listening to music, walking, travelling, talking, masturbating (no Im not kidding masturbation relieves stress) I mean pretty much any verb.', 'My insurance covered five days, but I know fuck all about insurance, because Im under my parents care. Its not day and night with therapists. they have a few group therapy things a day, and then a meeting with a psychologist ever day except for weekend. Then they have people around that you can constantly talk to. They usually switch shifts and stuff, so it sucks if you get attatched to one, but theyre always there. Jeep in mind that every place is different, these are just my experiences. I think you should go. ', 'Hhahahahahaah you pulled a joke off my username on a post where Im threatening suicide!!! You so silly!!!!... go fuck yourself.', 'Plenty of things can make you feel like that. But whyd you stop cutting in the first place?', 'Ill give you a tip, dont make people feel worthless if you want to make them feel better.', 'Its not even just my parents. I wish it was. Because I can deal with the fact that they are horrible parents. And they know they are. They apologize a lot, but they dont change anything. And I know that a lot of these feelings are ""oh Im an angsty teenager."" Trust me, I get that. But Depression fucks me up. ADHD fucks me up. BPD.. well you get it.As for hobbies, photography, but Im pretty shit. Filming, but I usually lose focus after I get an idea. Art, but I cant draw or paint. Reading, but sometimes I lose focus halfway through. The only thing I can honestly say I do regularly is write songs. And Im fairly good. Because it doesnt require actual focus for me. Just ten minutes of writing.', 'Im sorry.. well then what do you do to cope with your problems? Im just curious.', '17 year old guy. Been there. Actually Im still there for a lot of reasons. Im not sure what would have helped the most when I was 14. I wasnt ever strong enough to admit I had a problem. And while I knew I wasnt alone in the world I really felt like it and there wasnt a Damn thing anyone could say to change that. So, I guess I cant say much but this: Adults arent lying. Life gets better. Its hard. Its harder than anything you will ever do in your life. But there will be days in the near future where you feel okay and those days are worth being around for. I know it seems too far away. But what do you have to lose? Just hold on. And get some help. Sorry Im a cliche twat.', 'Essentially, the school told my mom, who drove me to Crises Intervention at the local hospital. They deemed me a danger to myself. My mom found my drugs, porn, razor blades, and other stuff. she went through my everything. Also, while at the psych ward, I was withdrawing from cutting, Burning sensation, and Vicodin at the same time. My girlfriend was forced to break up with me (were together now). I didnt want to be there, I was forced to. All of this really Pain my experiences. However, I can say this, I want to go back. It sucks, admittedly. Its like a prison. You have no rights. You feel like shit. But youre safe. Youre safe and you can learn coping strategies and you learn that youre not alone (elementary but necessary) and you actually deal with Pain there. You can let it out. I hated the psych ward, but if you try to get better, you can.', 'Yeah I noticed mostly teenagers too. It made me happy. I was hoping things would get better as I got older but apparently not.', 'Im 16. I just meant he doesnt want to give me any medication because Im too young. I guess.', 'I wanted to admit myself for awhile. But the closest psych ward is 45 minutes away meaning my parents would ask too many questions that I cant answer. Ill post my life story in a bit. I have to copy it and edit it. I cant type it all on my phone.* copied this from one of my old posts.. I have always had a shit life. I know this sounds cliche but its true. Maybe Im overreacting.. I probably am. But it just sucks. I literally can not remember a happy memory before I was 8. Its all just my parents fighting and breaking shit. And one time my dad got mad and hit me. And he hit my mom. And my parents got divorced. My mom married an alcoholic, and my dad married a woman who hates me. My stepdad likes to kick us out of the house when he gets drunk. He gets drunk a lot. And my stepmom just is spiteful. As if home wasnt enough, I hate myself. I know Im smart, but I cant focus. At all. I try so hard, but its like my brain doesnt want to cooperate. And I hate myself. I hate every fucking thing about myself. Like how I ruin every relationship Im ever in. And how I dont have the attention span to do anything I am actually interested in because its too hard to learn about it... Im not even strong enough to kill myself. And thats all I want.I know Im being melodramatic, but I cant handle this. I cant. So many people have it worse.. and I just feel like shit for myself. Im a horrible person. I. Want. To. Die.', 'It should have sent..', 'Sixteen year old to sixteen year old.. dont give up. Ive been unhappy for a long time. Fuck, minutes prior to this I was considering relapsing in cutting and Burning sensation again. I know recovery is hard. I know survival is hard. But it sounds like getting away from your parents and your town will help a lot. If death is the only other option, you should give it a shot. Just wait, one year, (or two if youre a junior, Idk Im gonna be a senior) and see if its better away from your family. Im not asking you to live forever. Im asking you to give living another chance.', 'Yep, if you ever need anything, message me. Especially when the time comes to make your decision. Im not always on here, but I could PM you my email or Tumblr if youd feel okay with that. Its your decision. Good luck on your finals and with your life. Im still in recovery. Its hell. But its worth it. Never give up.', 'Therapy hasnt helped. Ive been in it for a few months.', 'Im going to tell you what everyone is going to tell you. Go to counseling. Im 17 too and I know its uncomfortable and weird and it feels like it wont help. But the right psychologist WILL take you seriously. And thats a fucking great first step. Plus, how awesome did it feel to just unload all of this? Yeah its hard to say at first. But it feels good just to let everything out. And thats what a psychologist will do for you. On a regular basis. With the added bonus that they arent just Suicidal 17 year olds on the internet trying to give advice to people.', 'Depression is fucking hard. I know. It eats at you constantly. Like, every happy moment you have is overshadowed by this constant pit in your gut. But I guess talking about it does help. High school sucks. Im a junior, and I still hate it. But not all the guys are douches. Ive been told by the last three girls that Ive talked to, that Im ""too sweet"". Which is mostly because I hate hurting people. Im not saying Im special, cuz Im a shit boyfriend. Just saying that not everyone is a typical bro. As for talking to strangers.. thats why this subreddit is here. Anonymity is a great thing. And Im elijah.', 'Ill watch that as soon as I can. Thanks a lot. But now I have to delete this because I forgot to change accounts and friends know this one. ', 'Look at the scars on your body. Remember the night you tried to kill yourself. Cutting wasnt the answer then and it isnt now. There are so many better coping mechanisms.', 'I know. My brains fucked up and I dont produce enough endorphins or whatever it is that makes me happy. But god I just want to be able to control one thing in my life. I cant focus. I cant sleep. I cant be happy. Just once Id like to be normal. By myself.', 'Im going to PM you tomorrow, ok? Im Tired but I want to talk. If you want to, that is.', 'I would do anything to paint, actually. So I guess we do. Ill PM you tomorrow, but writing really isnt that hard. I could give you some tips. Im no expert, but if you really wanna do it, its a start.', 'Not really. So far its just been talking about my *feelings*', 'Yeah, sorry. I know why you brought it up, but Im well aware my parents are assholes. This is nothing new. Theyve been good parents I guess, but they are horrible people.. as for the medicine... no. I havent. My therapist hasnt brought up medicine yet. But I guess Im gonna call him tomorrow and ask for some. Im also gonna smoke weed tomorrow and see if that changes anything.', 'You bet your sweet ass you wont :P', '""Cuz if seeing is believing, then believe that we have lost our eyes"".. yeah, nobody likes to believe what isnt obviously there. If you met me, you wouldst believe Im writing this. I know it sucks man. It really does. But if it helps at all, way more people feel this way than youd think. Youre not alone. And maybe you can get help.', 'I spent half the day alternating between ""I want to die"" and ""I want someone to kill me"". Like, it was just those two thoughts repeated for 6 hours. I almost did it that night.', 'Fuck you. Theres a fine line between being a pep talking hardass, and just a complete and utter asshole. You took a big leap over that line. This isnt what anyone needs. Fuck off.', 'YES! One if my friends tried to kill herself on the day that I was planning on killing myself (two things were unrelated). I postpone ny attempt but accidently let it slip to my friends sister that ""that could have been me tonight"". She told the guidance office, who found out that I cut and sent me to the hospital who sent me to the psych ward. I was there for five days. Ask me anything.', 'He knows Im Suicidal. But I always said I was never going to kill myself. Even now I probably wont, because Im too afraid but when the time comes.. Ill try.', 'Hey, Im a sixteen year old guy too.. look, I cant promise these feelings will go away. For me they havent. But my life is getting better. It took me two whole years. But Im getting better. I dont know how long it might take for you, but its worth the wait. Its ok to feel like this. It doesnt make you different from anyone else. You just need to try to get help. Talking about your problems DOES help. I know I cant contribute much. And Im sorry for that. But Id be more than willing to listen if you ever want to PM me. ', 'Look thats not even what this is about. I just put it here because its what Im putting in my note... I am not happy. I havent been happy in years. I have panic attacks almost nightly and when I dont, I just have them twice as hard the next day. I cant focus on anything. I cant live up to any expectations. My life has always been Hell. And Ive always been a quitter... I wish I could run away.', 'It is. The focus of the picture is astounding, and while the subject of the picture doesnt follow the rule of thirds, theres enough going on in the landscape that it doesnt really matter. Also, it tells a story, which is fucking hard to do when theres one picture.', 'I am in therapy. But my therapist hasnt suggested it yet. I dont want pills. I dont want to be chemically happy. I want to be happy. I want my life to not be Hell for once. ', 'Probably thinks Im too young. Idk, Ill call tomorrow. Thanks.', 'Oddly enough, one of the reasons I still feel like utter shit is because of a girl. Who I may or may not have been in love with.Look I know this doesnt make sense, but love isnt a once in a lifetime thing. It feels like it should be. It feels like the earth should shift with each circumstance of your relationship. But it doesnt. The world wont end. Find new friends. And use your loving family to your advantage and get help.', 'Motivation is the number one issue for the next four days because I have two book reports due that I havent started. But I think Im past caring about that. Whatever gets me through now..', 'I dont know if youve ever cut before but if you havent let me give you a little breakdown.Cutting is essentially the worst thing to do in your situation. Its like a drug. Itll help a little at first. But not for long. Itll help for an hour. Maybe less. And youll just want more. So youll keep doing it. But soon itll stop helping. Soon youll just do it and do it and there will be no reason why. Youll hate yourself more. Your scars will stack up and youll be physically repulsed by yourself. Cutting isnt the solution. If you have cut yourself and you want to relapse, remember that cutting wont change anything. All of your problems are still there, and now you have to worry about your cuts on top of everything else. Of course stopping is hard. Its hell. There will be nights where you want to die. There will also be nights where you lay on the ground and stare at the stars and feel alive for the first time in years. Not Worried about the cuts on your wrists or the bad thoughts in your head and I promise you those nights are worth fighting for. Stay strong.', 'God damnit. I just spent$110 at borders..', '17 M.Look I cant tell you anything that you havent heard before. I cant provide some special grain of wisdom because were of a similar age and have similar problems. At this point, if youre anything like me, youre just skimming the answers. Because no matter what, no one can FIX you. When all you want is to like yourself. To like life. To be fucking happy. Hey I get it. Truth is, liking yourself is hell. But you seem smart. And I know that you have the strength to carry on because you made it this far. You need to consider therapy. I know it sucks but it helps. Stay strong, dear. Im a lot happier than I was a year ago. If you ever need anything message me. ', 'Haha thank you. But Ive just told the majority of my friends to fuck off. Because I was mad that they never tried to help even though they all knew I tried to kill myself. But, Im not sure I would have wanted their help.. so Im not sure why I cared. But I care.', 'Idk. Nobody seems to be much happier. My dad just called me worthless. Said I was a quitter... Fuck, hes SUPPOSED to love me. And he cant. Its not like its guaranteed to get better. My mom is bipolar, I think. Because she just has breakdowns. And my dad is depressed. This just doesnt seem to go away. Im trying so hard to just not hate myself. And to just get through it. I just dont think I can. Theres no point. Everyone has their lives. And Im glad youre happy. But I cant be happy. Its genetic.ALSO, stop pissing off owls, and Ill stop fapping.', '16', 'Probably. But it hasnt helped so far. He seems to be convinced I just need to figure out who I am. I know who I am. This isnt a Fucking tv show and Im the struggling teenager. Its stupid. I know what I have to do.', 'I was supposed to be something important. I was supposed to go to Stanford or Penn. Be a doctor. And then I got to high school and I wouldnt focus. I started failing classes and under achieving. And my dad and my mom both called me a failure. And my dad disowned me. Basically called me worthless. Thats not really why Im Suicidal. Ive been here before. But shit. That Pain.', 'Its not like I ever get over it.. I just used to be too afraid to kill myself.', 'Im a sixteen year old guy.. let me tell you something, dear, you cant give up. Ive been through slightly similar situations. I watched my mom try to kill herself. I had friends try to kill themselves. I know that part is hell, and I know how much it sucks. You need help. You cant just give up. My life has gotten better from when I was 15 until now. Please dont give up, beautiful. I know I could never understand exactly what youre going through but I want to do as much as I can to help you.', 'Yes. Yes it does.', 'Right. At this point I should probably say that Im not going to kill myself. I want to, yeah. But Im never going to it. Im sorry for scaring people here... anyway I have always ran away from problems. Im a quitter according to my dad. This is nothing new.', 'Im not, really. Im just afraid of leaving this all behind. Its all Ive wanted for months and yet I cant bring myself to do it.', 'Ive been to an inpatient facility so if youre younger than 18 Ill tell you what you can expect. But adult psych wards are completely different.', 'Shit dude. I dont even know what to say. Im really not great at advice. Im more of a listener. But not coping with your problems leads you down a horrible, horrible road. I started cutting and Burning sensation and taking pills instead of seeing a therapist or finding other ways to get help. My life was pure hell. And then I tried to kill myself, and I ended up in a psych ward. I know youre probably wondering why Im telling you this.. but because my life got better. If you feel overwhelmed and like you cant deal with your problems, whats the worst that can happen if you talk to a therapist? You say you want to kill yourself.. it cant possibly make anything worse. I wont try to talk you into it anymore. Just consider it. It took me months to tell my therapist anything but I did. It might just help you', 'Well what do you suggest I do? I think the whole point of actually going to therapy is so that you can figure out what you can do to get better. Its not just about talking. It IS unfortunate that I cant suggest specific things to make his life better, but different things work for different people. I was acting like I had it all figured out for him, but honestly, my life is still Hell. I realize telling him to go to therapy may not change anything, but I thought it was better than nothing. (Oh, and my insurance covers my therapy)', 'I know. I know its not theory fault. I just got pissed. And Im not sure if I actually want them back... I know this is going to sound like a cliche teenager thing, but for awhile I had a girl that I really liked. Which is weird for me. I dont usually feel that.. we met on the first day of school and we talked for two weeks straight. And we were going to go to homecoming together and we hung out twice this weekend. And then.. Idk? Shes either pissed at me, or just mad. But she wont respond to me. And thats why I hate friendships and relationships. I cant deal with it. Like just when I start to rely on her, I fucked up... And Im elijah.']",Behavior
user-222,"['Okay, were still here, so let us know!', 'Whenever I tend to help someone to go through a difficult moment in their life, I dont do it because of me but because I hear a cry for help. I too have well gone into Depression and its a shitty place, everything around you is pitch black, you have no self respect and you are selfish as hell because you dont care about that one person who may want you to stay alive. So there, Im just being there for those who want to get out of this black hole which is called Depression. ', 'I think you are sabotaging yourself. You still think of it as youre missing something. No you are not, it just happened for you not to find the right person yet.Just a question. Have you tried flirting girls and everything? How did it go? Do they give you a chance at all? Have your friends commented on this?', 'He found another girlfriend. Do me a favor and start respecting and loving yourself, now! why do you blame yourself?', 'If you share your problem with us, we may be able to help you', 'Hey, when I was in High School some stupid kids started spreading rumours for me because I broke up with a friend of theirs. It was Tired hurtful and a lot of other mates turned their back on me. However I knew what I did was right and I believed in my morals and stuck to it, even though I lost my popularity (was school president). Years later, those who turned their back on me came back and apologised. What Im trying to say is that kids at school can get nasty and its Tired difficult to do anything else because all you think about is these stupid kids, then you fight with your mom and all you wish is to turn back time. I know but! What you need to do is keep on believing in yourself, try to study harder, get someone to help you and even talk to teachers and let them know what youre going through. Im not sure what happened in your situation but you shouldnt give up now and no matter what dont think of suicide. Theyre not worth it. ', 'Also find a hobby, may it be painting, gardening, crafting, cooking or baking. You can also get a pet. The best thing however is to talk as much as you can-get it out of your chest. Writing a journal or a letter about all your feelings and then Burning sensation it also does the trick. And of course all the things our fellow redditor suggested.', 'Hey, you actually made me laugh. (In a good way) Because you said this ""That Im faulty or something"" and it was just funny, thought of a broken toy or something. So why dont you focus on the good things about you instead of what you think is bad? I think you got humor and dont know it. Have you ever had any female friends? Did you try to ask them what they thought of you? ', 'Poetry is a nice way to express your feelings and be who you want to be through your poems. What exactly would you want to do if you had the chance to be free?', 'Relax! I just read a long stressful post of a person who needs a hug. So big hug for you! I know sometimes people seem to say things like ""dont worry, youll be ok"" but you are still not at a state where you feel confident enough about it, its ok. Try to have a conversation with your mum or even write a letter to her and say how you feel. Now, I would also suggest that you move out. Moving in/out of houses changes your psychology soooo much! You may even meet new people and hopefully friendly neighbours. If you dont feel confident about your health then move to a place close to your family. However I once met a girl who was Disability and had lots of health problems but she lived by herself and she was ok! Have you thought of joining clubs? Even going to the gym can help you meet people. ', 'well its about time you teach her ""fetch"" or try talking to her. They dont understand a thing and they may chew your shoes while you talk but it does make you feel better. Chemo does weaken you and its difficult sometimes to use the computer. Can your mom read to you? ', 'good. Voluntary work will help you feel better too, you will start having better self esteem and respect for yourself. Try different types of jobs and see what you may like most and keep us updated, k?', 'Once you find something that gets you up from your bed, youll soon find your motivation again and youll be encouraged to do more. There are many things you can do as a volunteer but the best thing is that it gives you the time to think of what you want to do while actually doing something and meeting people. If you think you can still go to univesrity, then by all means do. Just find something that you like. You could choose to learn IT, computer animation and so many other things which can be related to games. Imagine if you could create your Tired own game!', 'Everyone goes through a break-up but this doesnt mean you need to feel like that. Break-ups are usually messy and make us feel unloved but thats not true. You need to love yourself first! You dont seem like your give much respect to yourself if you feel so sad about a break-up. Did you think you were not ready for a break-up? was it unexpected?', 'keep me updated! good luck and I hope this helps with things at home.', 'nah..we do too have weaknesses but we try not to let it get to us. you can do anything you want in your life, thats what Ive learnt. I still amaze myself by the things I do and never thought I could. Do you perhaps think you can use this example to get through this difficult situation? ', 'That is a difficult situation and I understand why you feel sad and angry. Even happy normal people get Depression with cancer. Hows it going in the chemo? do you have any hobbies?', 'that goes for everyone. Its not easy to trust people because youre afraid you may get hurt. However I would encourage you to socialize more as it helps with self esteem and personaL psychology. If you need anything you can pm me or talk through this post, Im sure others want to help you too. ', 'Hey Im sorry you had to go to a psychiatric clinic, that must have been a Tired scary experience for you. And thanks for sharing this, it is good to see that you realise how important talking and sharing feelings helps out of Depression.', 'You need to see a therapist soon. I am not sure if you are suffering from Depression or some other condition. I can see that you still want to change and Im sure you can do better and show yourself (and others) that youre worth it. However in order for you to realise your potential, you need to think twice before getting drunk. Again Im not sure of what is causing you to have this behavior (could be bipolar disorder). Do you have any memories of what happens before going out and getting drunk? ', 'true-in this economy all it matters is experience.', 'Im glad youre feeling better. I also think you owe it to her and to yourself to give her an apology. I think it will make you feel better too. ', 'Can you share your story because to me you sound as if you are pissed off with the system and the people and everything. What happened to you that was so tragic and so sad that made you feel this way?', 'Hmm, its not my call to tell you if shes being psychotic (like my mom)or if shes going through a difficult transition in her life, but I could advise you talking to your dad. Do you think that if you shared your thoughts with your dad that he would be able to give you some insight? Have you tried talking to her and asking why shes behaving like this? I did this with my mom and I felt better because once I talked to her and my dad I was more able to understand what was happening with her. ', 'Well, there are always incidents happening in train stations, it doesnt necessarily mean that it was him. Besides we dont know where he lives. I can only hope that hes ok...-edit- did you notice that it was his only post?', 'Find a guitar club or move town. The good thing is that you recognise who you really are, so try to find the right person who actually gets you for who you truly are. ', 'I know. Thats why you need something to hold you up. Something that will inspire you to care and to not give up. ', 'I hope youre not trolling now', 'Yeah, sometimes we choose the wrong people to associate with.', 'If you like it and with a little bit of effort you can make this a Tired profitable profession. But Id advise you not to use money as motivation to do things. In the end of the day its what you enjoy doing that will bring you joy. You should give it a try. Do it at least for yourself.', 'I wonder what happened. He didnt reply and I dont see other posts. Im worried', '""One day I changed my mind and isolated myself. I learnt how to design websites"" that should make you feel proud!Look, I had a rough childhood too and I felt Suicidal a while ago. I do know how you feel right now but what I want you to do is to think W H Y you feel empty inside. What is missing from your life now? You dont have to do it for us but do it for you; you at least deserve to know and realise what makes you feel that way now. Its not the little things, these are just the excuses. Its something bigger, can you tell us?', 'again Ill remind you that you need to look for the right person. Im sure that with time, you will. You need to look for character and personality, not looks. ', 'Hmm, I too didnt have much money to spend so one day when I was feeling down, I took a piece of cardboard some old acrylic tubes and started painting. It wasnt the prettiest thing ever but it made me feel so good. By the way do you think his behaviour is causing you Depression? ', 'To my eyes it is selfish because you really act like a crazy bitch when you Pain and you say Pain stuff that Pain others. And can you explain what you mean by this ""society holds the arms of these behind their backs as well"". ', 'Im not sure how I can help but can you relate to any of these [symptoms of Depression!](http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Depression/Pages/Symptoms.aspx)', 'cute! keep on targeting doctors, it drives them crazy (sorry docs). Im ok but have Injury of muscle Disability but Im managing. Thats why I wanted to tell you Im here. ', 'Im sure she was, try to listen to some music. I still think of the pets Ive lost and I know I hold nice memories of them and thats what counts.', 'Hey. Internet hug. Where do you live?-Edit-What I meant was, can we help you? (dont give out address) ', 'Sure, why not? All you need to do is to approach people, talk to them and let them know of your situation. You should be able to find something, just talk to them. Who knows, maybe they will offer more money than your current wage. But dont forget that apprenticeships are usually for people between 16-24 so dont let this opportunity slip away. Look for government schemes too-they may be able to put you in contact with such people. ', 'Thanks for sharing. I tend to believe that no matter what you have accomplished in your life, turning 20 something just makes you see the world differently. Im Tired close to your age and I feel for you. This may sound silly but have you ever considered going into voluntary work and try lots of different jobs and see what you may like? I did this and I found meaning in my life. And also have you ever thought of telling (or writing to) your dad about the story with the soap? It may lift a burden from you and not make you feel guilty about lying about it. Im here whenever you need help. ', 'Its called hope. Thats what I call it. I feel like I can do things, change things and I  want to smile and tell people that things are going to be fine. It has happened to me but you really need to kick Depression really hard before you start feeling ""normal"" (ordinary) again. I think...', 'Yes this happens. Just try not to take it out on them because the consequences are quite bad. You are looking for re-assurance, someone to tell you that they are there for you. Have you tried telling any close friends or family members of how you feel? When things arent going well, you just need an extra dose of love, thats understandable. ', 'Have you talked to any of your family members about your feelings? ', 'I see why. Nice', 'no you dont understand. the problem is not your personality. the problem is you need to look for the right boyfriend! someone who likes your hobbies, jokes, personality, your good and bads-someone who makes you feel comfortable and be yourself.', 'Well dont beat yourself up because of a post. When you actually meet the right type of girl who will see through you, then I promise you she wont see you as a fool but as a cute guy with great potential. And one more thing, relationships arent just sex, youve got to connect emotionally. (that means youll know what youve got to do with the right person next to you)', 'You are welcome. pm me anytime and I hope you start feeling better soon!', 'good! dont forget to smile, you can do it!', 'you still have your dog to play around! what kind of games you like?', 'perhaps you can paraphrase and explain what bothers you in a different post but without a philosophical twist. You can also pm me if you need to. ', 'Okay, Im sorry this made you feel this way but I think the moderators removed the post because selfwatch is for people who want to talk about their personal problems. Not that our discussion didnt help you but it was closer to a philosophical point of view. Perhaps..I dont know, maybe Im wrong..not taking sides here', 'Also, I too have felt the same way. Why should I live, why is it so damn important that my life is continued? Sure there are other people who have lead better lives and are far better off and deserve to live..yeah, why not? But in the end of the day, my life is worth too b/c I did things and darn I deserve to live. I refuse to go back into Depression. I really hope you understand my point or that you give me a reply.', 'Hey, Im sorry you feel this way but dont say youre worthless. The death of your friend is tragic and sad but it doesnt mean that with his death, your ability and potential to become an ""awesome game developer or an award-winning author"" has left. Im here (and this community) to talk with you, whenever you feel like it.', 'daffydubs is right. do not put off making an appointment with a therapist. Professors are humans too and they know that their students may go through life transitions. have you ever thought of calling a hotline? theyre there 24/7 and even if you think theres no one there for you, they are. Also I wanted to ask you; what do you think its causing you so much stress? Is it your relationship or time management at uni?', 'Thank you. Indeed thank you for this. ', 'I completely agree with the fact that your husband is not supportive at all. Have you ever considered writing, painting or crafting? You mentioned video games so why dont you create your own story, craft and paint the character youve imagined? Of course there are the traditional things too like joining a club, doing gardening, cooking or baking. Have you thought of volunteering? You will meet lots of people and it will actually help you to get out a bit.', 'Correct me if Im wrong but people who call for help, tell strangers they want to die and basically warn others that they are about to commit suicide, arent the ones who desperately need someone to save them? Because Ive heard about others who without warning just kill themselves. My point is that those people who appeal for help are the Tired ones who want to be helped. ', 'Hey, whatever is causing you to feel that way, you can surpass it. Care to share why you feel like that?', 'Hey I spent almost all my childhood in hospitals and my doctors were the only friends I had. The bad thing about it is you cant have people your same age to play and be with you. The good thing however is that you can always spam doctors with questions!!!', 'Its good that you tried to cheer yourself up, hope you enjoyed the movie. I do have something like IBS and I know its a Tired controlling condition and that it requires good diet and less stress. You said you didnt get into the best colleges you had applied to and I want you to know this. I too didnt get into the top college of my choice but I managed to get a scholarship and finish first in the college that I went to in the end. I then tried to apply to a better uni and got accepted. What Im trying to say here is that nothing is impossible - so try to focus on what you can do now and dont feel bad about it. Now about your girlfriend, Im not sure what you did to make her go away, she sounds pretty special but from my experience (because yes Ive fucked up in relationships too) if you try to be honest with that person and speak from your heart and explain why you acted in such a way then you may have a second chance. Do you think you can still go and talk to her?', 'Okay I went and still going through such a situation in my family. Has your mom always been like this or is it something youve just noticed? My mom was always acting a bit crazy (she had to deal with a lot of things that made her Depression and angry) but I didnt realise it until I was about 20. I eventually left home. Do you think you can talk to your mum about your feelings?', 'Have you considered changing the pattern of doing things? For instance you may try to start a new hobby and whenever you have this feeling you can motivate yourself to do better. Do you think this could help you? Sometimes our behaviours and the things we do become repetitive, like a habit and if we manage to break it once, we are more able to stay stronger and fight more. ', 'dont know. I still wait for things to get fixed in my life and honestly I have the same question. In the meantime I play with my neighbours pets and watch cartoons, read books and do gardening to keep my sanity. I just think that we live for the little moments in life, cause nothing is perfect.', 'You need to find something or someone to hold on to. To keep you encouraged at all times, even when you reach your lowest. I know Depression is crappy and it is Tired much like a roller coaster. Do you have anyone to talk to about your feelings? Do you have a dream or something you want to achieve? Such things may help you get over it more easily.', 'Hey, not everyone is supposed to be the social queen/king, its ok if you want to be lonely. But I would advise you to get out and find what you want to do. Have you thought of volunteering? I know the job market is quite unstable now and lots of us are struggling, but dont give up hope. Have you thought of any hobbies? When Im not sure of what I want to do, when I have lost my direction I think of what I wanted to do as a kid. It always brings the best out of me because I knew exactly what would make me happy. What do you think? ', 'no problem. I would advise you to volunteer in any of those professions you mentioned. That experience will either encourage you and motivate you or discourage you. The reason Im suggesting this, is because theres a difference between dreaming about a job and actually doing it. You can also become an apprentice by asking local traders (i.e. carpenters) in your neighbourhood. Google it and Im sure youll find more info. Anyway, the bottom line is that you need to get out of this circle and do things that will iniate a better mood, lifestyle etc. You really need to do this, its a good experience and will definetely help you in many ways. ', 'We are the worst psychologists when it comes to giving advice to our ourselves. When I was Depression I didnt feel like eating much but that is not an excuse to starve ourselves so try to have even just a bit and dont feel bad about money issues (your parents wanted to help you, its their job to support you in every possible way). And you havent failed, because you are here now at a university, studying-that means youve tried hard to get in. But in any way, do you think you can go see your universitys therapist? ', 'Yes you do. Youve just started a degree at university, dont you want to see what you will get through it? also we all go through high levels of stress, you cabt just let this beat you. You are stronger than you may think. Do you have any hobbies? Have you considered getting a plant? Once I was feeling really really sad and I got a plant. I started taking care of it and eventually I started paying attention to myself too. What do you think? Also can you elaborate on that ""earful of the stresses going on at home""?', 'well Im no therapist, Im trying to help. Its good however that you feel much better now', 'yes it feels better not to feel alone. Thats why we need to share our stories! You can pm me any time, especially when that bloody chemo is not treating you well, ok? Were all here for you.', 'You are funny. Id advise you not to compare your life to others. We all have something that makes us different from others and you may not do what Jobs was doing but you perfectly showed me here that you are capable of making up a nice story and use your sarcasm as a tool to express how you feel. Some people call it stand up comedy. What Im trying to say is that you need to look into what you already have and not what you have not.', 'Just relax. Dont create scenarios before they actually take place in real life. ', 'I see, well it seems the whole family has been affected by this unprecedented event. Even if we suppose that you were able to cope, the fact that everyone is feeling different now, doesnt help much. It is Tired difficult to deal with people who suffer from this type of conditions and the fact that things have changed so much, is causing you stress. Its okay though. Do you have any other hobbies apart from music? Have you thought about what you want to do in your life? I know you said you cant fund your studies but have you thought of scholarships or funding from institutions? Most colleges offer that. You may also become an apprentice. Im asking this because I want to show you that nothing is over. You can still do lots of great things.']",Ideation
user-223,"['and if youre new to it, get help before youre too addictrd', 'Ive only really coded one thing, I made a pacman game type thing, I used JavaScript. I havent done much since ', 'Even just earlier today, I got called emo. I dont think everyone hates me, Im just in a bad spot. I dont even know why I cut. Ive lost many friends because; well, Im not sure why, because they think I ""need help""?', 'I just got back from the therapist. I told her about it and asked her to not tell my parent. she told me she wouldnt but I had to be honest with her... blah blah blah. its all okay. thanks so much for all your help guys!', 'also if anyone wants to chat, Ill be here for a while. any suggestions on what to say to the office of why I was absent? they saw me this morning, and my aunt works in the office so saying I got here late wont work. ', 'I usually hide them somewhere where I think Ill ""remember"" them later, like under my chair, in the lockbox with my (airsoft) guns, etc. I just barely remembered that I have one under the foam in an empty handgun case.  lol', 'some people will just never understand, and i think its better that way. some people dont deserve to feel these things, and even if they put hate towards us, i wouldnt wish this on the worst of my enimies. just in case you guys were wondering, my friend did text me, he asked me why i did, and also asked if i needed help, I tried to explain to him as best as i could that i am fine  now.', 'Hey, we all feel this way; thats why were on this subreddit. We all feel unrecognized, underapreciated, ect. But dont drive yourself into the wall because of it. Talk to someone, make sure its someone that trusted you with their secrets, that way you have something on them. Just start playing some games online, make some good friends there; you may never meet in real life, but the through the power of the internet you can have the best of friends.Im so sorry you feel this way, as Im sure we all know it sucks. Just try different things to get better, just start doing little things that make you happy; playing with dogs, taking a walk, anything to keep you occupied and make you feel like you did something, accomplished something that day, make every day worth it!', 'Wow. Youre actually REALLY cute in my opinion ;) I really love the whole red-hair thing too, it works for you.', 'sometimes I come here for advice, sometimes to take my mind off things. other times I come here to stop myself, and it just makes me want to cut even more.', 'yeah, Im decent with that kind of stuff, its pretty fun, Ive just never had anything other than a laptop.  so Im pretty pumped', 'well, I have been pretty bad, and occasionally slip and fall, become Pain again; but lately, ive been doing ok. one day i just looked at what i was doing with my life (which is just about nothing) and decided to change some things, start talking to girls, get some friends, get a haircut, start trying to look attractive, ect. i appreciate your thought to me, i really do. sometimes i come on these subs just to give someone else a little hope, and im glad i could help you.', 'I cant even begin to tell you how many times Ive told myself this, just to get it over with; take the easy way out, its never easy.  Your thoughts start to go crazy, your attitude changes, everything drives you insane. Please dont take the easy way. My best friend scince 3rd grade recently took his life, without giving it any thought, he always told me he would one day take his life, I guess if thats what he wanted, there you go Matthew; maybe hes happy where he is. Maybe he wishes he could come back. Just remember, once you leave this world, no matter how young, old, rich, poor, important, or insignificant you are, there is no way to come back. Anything that has taken a wrong turn, you wont be able to fix it, its all permanent.Please dont do it, there are people that want you here; you just have to find them.', 'I dont see why people ever expect others to believe this. dont get me wrong, I appreciate your kindness and willingness to try and help. really, thank you. but you dont know me. Im an insignificantly small part of your life. you could comment this and just move on, which a lot of times, people do. I dont mean to get rude here but really. nobody close cares, why would someone over the Internet that doesnt know you care?', 'it is an addiction. wether its an addiction because you need control, or youre addicted to the hormones or whatever that are released when you cut, its physically addictive. dont feel too bad about it, but please try and get help. ', 'pretty shit to be honest', 'I lost a few friends that way, they were the nicest people, but one day they saw my scars, told everyone, practicly ruinied my life. i moved away from that town, for a good reason (the suicide rates were EXTREMELY high due to bullying) some people can never understand untill they experience something like this themselves.', 'if its just breaking the skin there will be minor ( I mean Tired minor, mostly unnoticeable) discoloration, I have this on my wrist, the cuts bled, but they only broke skin slightly so they healed up pretty well.', 'no, no hobbies besides anything computer related.  and theyre too spread out and far apart for band aides. theres probably 5-6 of them about 3 inches long and 1/2 inch apart.  so band aides or bandaging in general isnt going to work. and I cant skip the class, Ive done that too much already and am failing ', 'thanks!', 'Dont worry, you arent heartless, you just used to care as little TOO much. This is one thing I say often I myself and others who say Im heartless, it just helps sometimes to feel like you have an easy excuse for what is happening.', 'well, ive been about 3 days clean; its not much but its good to me', 'yes. as in telling my family, parents/ guardians', 'ysah. Ive been learning programming, not much lately, but some. ', 'UPDATE: Coach told me to wear jeans, until I get sweats.  no further action taken. ', 'cannabis hasnt been too helpful, not with social and self harm stuff at least... it helps with Stress a lot. but yeah, I dont really know why I do it, I change reasons. or maybe theyre excuses and I am actually addicted to the rush, and if thats the case, so be it. ', 'sorry, allow me to start off with me. I am 14 years old, born in utah, until I was 12.  moved to Texas at 12, moved back recently. everythings falling apart, and it sounds stupid (because It is) but the girl I loved wont talk to me. shes moved on. my best friend killed himself. I have nothing to live for. my parents dont care about me. my family in general doesnt care. Im going to a councelor and am supposed to be taking pills but I dont want to be happy because of a pill. Ive been going over ways to kill myself lately. I guess thats why I came here', 'Earlier today a friend of mine saw my scars, he immediatly asked me ""Why do you cut yourself?"" We were at the lunch table, so I just pretended to not hear as if I was untreated in another conversation. He hasnt spoken to me scince. Its only been 12 hours, but we usually talk regularly.TLDR: friend saw my scars, hasnt talked to me; in this society its better to hide your scars', 'he already knows I for believe In anything really, and everyone else is super religious, they still wear shorts.  I cant really get pants but its too late now, Im just going to tell him, as I have no other option that doesnt include everyone in school finding out. thanks for the advice though', 'its already Common cold in my town, Ive been wearing long sleeves to cover up scars.  scars dont go away, just remember that. i had this same though process too, but there comes a point where you ask if its really worth it. ', 'thats why im glad subs like these are here, we all get our dose of being able to be with people who know what we all go through, and maybe help each other a little.']",Behavior
user-224,"['Save them from what?', 'Thats dismaying, but surely youve been in a place where everything has Pain less? And from there, youve been in a place where everything has Pain the least? There most assuredly has been a time like that for you.Im not going to say that youll experience a moment back to that state. You might come back to it. You might even exceed it. But you damn well will get close to it.We live our lives for those moments. I dont believe you when you say youve never been in a place youve liked. What was your first lollipop like? The first time eating your favorite food? Running a mile then stopping and feeling that runners high surging through you? Beaten a difficult level in a game? Had a first kiss? Buying the first object with hard-earned money? Petted an animal? Helped someone and felt better for it? Drank a cool drink on a hot day? Taken a warm shower on a rainy day? Laughed with friends?', 'Slippery slope. Feels good now, but its going to escalate. I used to do the same thing. Felt great; the world felt like the past and I became more alive than I had ever been. Id pull the trigger and it was like cool mist was hovering inside my brain. Id have a renewed sense of urgency to do good things, be a better person, and be responsible again.Then I started loading the gun.', 'Its perfectly understandable to feel angry. Sometimes, we just arent dealt the right cards. I cant imagine what you must go through every day. Have you told anyone about the sexual abuse, and has it stopped? With your family, youre being exposed to addiction at all turns. Hey, best part of that, and yes, there is a good part, is that youll not become like them, because you see how they ended up. Its a handicap, but there are advantages. How old are you?Heres a poem I read when I was around 13, 14. Its been a great boon to me: [Give it a read.](http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/178055)', 'First of all, what youre experiencing will stop.  Its just a matter of when.Sit down. Try to manage your breaths. Go as slow as you possibly can go. When youve calmed a bit, tell me why you want to kill yourself? Im willing to bet one of your first thoughts will be, ""I dont know.""Dont worry, this is normal. Let me tell you a true story: A man wanted to kill himself, so he went to the first place he thought of to do so, the Golden Gate Bridge. While standing there, in the middle, he realized he had to cross the street to jump off. A policeman notices this man, eyeing the passing cars with darting glances and makes a correct assumption that the man is about to do something risky.But the man doesnt cross. He continues to watch the cars passing by, trying to find a gap so he can run across. Eventually, the policeman managed to get to the man before he did something drastic. The man confessed to wanting to jump of the bridge, but what the police officer and the man, as he said later, couldnt understand is if the intent was suicide, why the man was Worried about the cars speeding past him which would have most likely ended his life as well!Youre in the same catatonic state. What you need to do to yourself is find a way to calm yourself down and wait it out. And it will beat against you with all its might, but youre stronger than It. Put some headphones on and listen to your favorite song on full blast. One day you will be six Oedema of extremity under the ground, but *not today*. You destroyed it before, now destroy it again. Feed yourself with good thoughts. Youve been on this Earth for 10-plus years, you the strongest fucking Homo-sapien hairless ape to walk the ground, to use tools, customized by a genetic code that **nobody else** has. Whats another five minutes? Whats another ten?Tell it to go to hell, but for fucks sake, it will never plunge you down there with it.', '10 bucks says youre from an Asian family.Im sorry you had to go through this. Glad you got out of the situation, but you really need to keep it that way. Do things that give you rest and reprieve. Its important for yourself to not get Stress out. ', 'This is a tricky situation.On the one hand, you want to give her the best possible outcome with an targeted approach centered at her immediate well-being. On the other, her family, minus your girlfriend, are focused on long-term prospects with worrying about her job and social life.Im inclined to agree with your position. **Arguments for your position:*** If she has done this before, statistics show shell try again in the future. * She has been duplicitous in the past with attempting therapy. In her state, she needs it, and needs it right now.* Is it really smart being exposed to drinking in the state her liver is in?You have to tip-toe a fine line here. For one, youre not part of the immediate family, and its a precarious time, so your opinion might fall by the wayside. But try anyways. Furthermore, inquire about bringing in a non-judgmental third-party, like a family doctor or a preacher. I have an inkling theyll side with your position.Good luck.', 'Im glad. You know what, I was about to write that, because thats where I felt the happiest in my entire life too.There will be many Disneylands in your future. Think of it as a game of chance. You keep rolling and rolling the dice; youre bound to hit upon a 6. Right now youre at a 1. Its clouding your mind. You keep rolling 1s and 2s. Tell me about your family. What are you feeling right now?', 'Hey man/woman, hang in there. Some of the best comedians came from/are in bitter times, and they come up with great material because of it.For the stage fright, just practice in front of a mirror, then work yourself up performing to one person, then two, and keep it in single increments until it turns into a crowd.Edit: And to be fair, a lot of people who you might think of as in peace with their life, really arent. They just seem that way. Heres a poem by Edwin Arlington Robinson:    Whenever Richard Cory went down town,    We people on the pavement looked at him:    He was a gentleman from sole to crown,    Clean favored, and imperially slim.    And he was always quietly arrayed,    And he was always human when he talked;     But still he fluttered pulses when he said,    Good-morning, and he glittered when he walked.    And he was rich - yes, richer than a king -    And admirably schooled in every grace:    In fine, we thought that he was everything    To make us wish that we were in his place.    So on we worked, and waited for the light,    And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;     And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,    Went home and put a bullet through his head.', 'I have a Forever stamp laying here somewhere. I could mail it to you.  You could send it back after your first paycheck. I sincerely hope things get better for you Tired, Tired soon. Dont let this become your personal burden, a neuro-chemical catharsis that you solely blame on yourself, by getting the help you require. Getting to the doctor is the hardest part at this stage, but you deserve it even though you dont feel like it. ~$60 to see the doctor and get a script. You need this kickstart buddy.', 'Im going to head to bed soon and someone else will help you out, but take note that someone cruising by noticed this. I dont know anything about you, but I dont want you to die. How would you like me to help? Is there anything I can do?', 'I like that you go out and walk somewhere, just anywhere. Maybe you can get a gym membership? It helps to kill time.', 'Has this happened only this one time? Do you know for sure that she left on account of the depression?If she did leave because of it, do you really want to be with, get married to, have kids with a person who thinks negatively of it?It might have happened to me before. I told her about it and she stopped responding to texts or phone calls. Thats when I realized I wasnt interested in her anymore because she couldnt contact me like an adult to tell me to stop. She, and yourself seem relatively young. Dont worry, it gets better when youre older buddy. ', 'That guilt trip shit is common.Glad youre feeling better. For every low, there is a high, and vice versa.', 'Very clever screenname.Its not too late. Tell them you were Illness and re-schedule.', 'Youre stuck with a conditioned way of thinking; lets cut this chain.Have you ever been in a place youve liked?', 'Yep, that last sentence was the same with me. Getting on with the rest of the day was so easy. I was listening to NPR the other day and apparently the VA is giving free gun locks to veterans. Its sort of a stalling tactic in case you reach for your weapon in a time of depression, but you should seriously look into that. Have a great day.', 'Are you renting or owning? Actually, it doesnt matter. You want to die. Do you realize all the possibilities that opens up for you? You can do everything. Get out of town, move to a new city with the woman who obviously loves you and discover everything anew again. Get that change of scenery, get those new job opportunities. Get an interview in a new city and ask them for a telephone interview, and that youre willing to move there.A lot of marriage vows have ""for better or **worse**"". You might not believe in that stuff, but she sure does; and hell, you might not even be married to you. Be good to yourself and accept it, because you deserve it!That fifth paragraph is not you being in a stump; its depression. Dont blame yourself. Ill PayPal you $10 bucks if youd like so you can turn on your heat for your day.', 'There arent girls like you out there, but there are women.Dont let these girls dissuade you away from the idea of Woman or the many women you will meet throughout your life. These ladies just havent matured yet, although not to say theyll ever mature; theyll still be types like them out there wholl meet people like themselves. Youre a hopeless romantic, and when you meet one like yourself, itll be beautiful and when you two embrace in a public display of affection itll make everyones heart in the vicinity of the area leap at the prospect of unconditional, true love.Although not to say youll only have one love in your life, *Casanova*. Keep being poetic.']",Behavior
user-225,"['Ive been working my mind thinking of something to say and I keep drawing a blank, and its because I dont know anything about you.So I want to know more about you, so before you do what you think is right ( and I aint going to give you advice or shit like that and try and dissuade you) you got to let me learn a bit about, I wanna know a guy before hes gone.', 'Itd be a shame if it was a small bureaucratic formality that killed you, Im hoping for me its either shark attack or death by bees.""If Im not living anyway, its not like anything will die when I commit suicide, right?"" Guess it depends on your concept of living.Theres something you cant say, or dont want to. I wish I could know more, I hope you find a concept to live for', '>  itd be the equivalent of a butterfly that alights from a flower, ruffling the Flatulence/wind that annoys the undercover sniper that accidentally pulls the trigger on meThats cool, Im going to steal that.I can see why people say youre smart.I really wish you hadnt experienced the things that kept causing you to be disappointed over and over, it sounds like a heavy load and that sucks.Nothing wrong with a little failure, Im well versed in failure, I like to consider myself a master of failure. Its good that you believe in things, even if it does end in heartbreak. I hope you get over this, you have a long time to commit suicide and you dont need to rush it, Im contemplating suicide by old age.', 'Dont thank me, its important I meet interesting people.Your biggest fear?Your favourite book and film?A controversial opinion you have?Can you remember when you were most scared?If you were told you had 24 hours to live what would you do?I know these questions seem a little odd but Id really appreciate you answering them, whenever you get time.', 'It sounds like you have a lovely friendship with Nicola.Stop calling yourself useless, youre not. Youre not a spare cog, youre important. So you havent got a job, kudos on you quitting a job that made you unhappy and unwell. I think that took courage.Please talk to Nicola and tell her how youre feeling, and how shes helped you and been an important part of your life.']",Supportive
user-226,"['That sure sounds simple in concept. Thanks for sharing that with me, though--its a big help and it makes *complete* sense, but Id genuinely never thought of it that way, or at least not consciously.  On an unrelated note, I just glanced at the first page of your post history and saw... Nethack. High five. Youre officially awesome. (""I still have to ascend a character in Nethack"" seems like as good a reason as any to keep waking up every day.)', 'Mines a Valk named Jalyssa. Ive gotten smooth at hitting the mid-game with Valks, but I do something boneheaded right around Medusa every time.  ...* grin * I cant thank you enough--you made me smile for the first time in a couple of days.', 'I hope it gets better, too. This is helping get me off the ledge, anyway. ', 'Thanks for... listening. And for the hug. I needed that, pretty badly.  Ive been trying to reach my client all day with no success. Shes not a flake; its not a problem. Under any other circumstances itd be no big deal at all, its just part of working freelance. Its just such an immediate crisis situation I really dont know what to do. And theres so much more going on... I dont even know where to begin repairing anything anymore. I feel so hopeless and lost and Ive felt so alone in the world for so long... its nice to be listened to and comforted and advised, even by a stranger on the Internet. Thank you.', 'The shelters in town have a 2 Asthenia waiting list--Ill be financially solvent again by then anyway. Not something I didnt consider, though.  Thanks for the advice and the luck--and the reassurance. That helps a lot. Ive taken a kind of intolerable amount of crap over the last few years, and I really need some time to get my head together again.', 'I thought about /r/assistance, but... I dont know. I think Im feeling too bad about myself to ask for (material) help, if that makes any sense? I dont... dunno, cant figure that part out right now.  My family of origin was similar, and Ive walked away from mine, too. Its kind of horrible that Im drawn to people with similar qualities so often--have you run into that? I keep thinking Ive worked that out, but I keep finding myself in the same position--the thought process is usually something like, ""Well, I cant believe I fell for THAT shit again."" Sigh.', 'Ive been doing the same for the past few years, yeah. Its encouraging that youve managed to find a way to break through that--I keep thinking Im choosing better people, but Im still making a lot of mistakes and my Good Person Radar is horked. ']",Ideation
user-227,"['possibly!sorry about the empty post. its sort of a hard subject to just jump into.basically, ive been constantly Delusional disorder at my uni for the past couple of months, and it has been extremely detrimental to my mental health. its especially bad when doing anything online when i most feel like im being spied on, making it extremely difficult to reach out for help in any way. i had to stop talking with one of my good friends online because the Delusional disorder was so bad.the whole situation makes me want to dissapear because of how much it makes me feel isolated with no chance that things will get better. ']",Ideation
user-228,['I have at this moment learned that my minorly schizophrenic friend and former girlfriend(whom I still have a huge crush on) is contemplating suicide      if you think that your family or friends thinking about how you need to repeat a semester is worse than the Emotional upset trauma theyd get from finding you in a closet with a tope around your neck than I believe you need to get think again        imagine it ten years from now if you dont commit suicide a woman in an abusive marriage or a man who had suffered from a near fatal Infection caused by mal practice         then imagine you being her divorce attorney or the lawer who sewed the hospital and not only got enough money to pay for the mans treatment but took this case so far as to have the congress pass a new law preventing this from ever happening again    imagine the looks on their faces; the woman smiling and Crying with joy from beneath a bruised face; the man grinning as he wakes from a successful treatment       think about them whenever you think that youre ready to die and ask yourself what would the world do without you'],Indicator
user-229,"['Im one of the others that has been checking /user/NeMoD for just this reason.', 'This post must have been prompted by something negative.  That makes me sad.This subreddit is awesome, and the moderators are awesome.  Keep up the good work.', 'I forgive myself for my failed marriage.You should forgive yourself for all failings which you learn from.', 'My father died when I was fifteen.  It was off the coast of Florida, we were SCUBA diving.  I did not watch the CPR attempt, but I can vividly remember the sounds: 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 and 6 and 7 and 8 and 9 and 10... over and over again for 20 minutes.  I remember thinking of my own CPR training, and the chart that shows survival rates for CPR without a defib... I knew how slim the chances were.My father smoked all his life, but quit 6 months prior to this trip so that could go SCUBA diving with me.  I never told him how much that meant to me.', 'http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkZyI1gAmLY', 'Im sure that youve been tested for this, but if not make sure you get a test for hypothyroidism.  Its grossly underdiagnosed, and can cause all sorts of Emotional upset issues.When Im off my thyroid meds I am more easily frustrated and have a much lower self worth.  I also have a hard time thinking clearly.', '*cry*', 'Dont worry about dragging people down, thats not a problem.  People that post here do so because helping people makes them happy.Out of curiosity: Do you have any of your art online?', 'Because he was a smoker most of his life, and he quit smoking so that he could get SCUBA certified and go on a trip to the Keys with me.  He died 12 miles off the coast of FL.He was a good father, and a good man.  His funeral was standing room only in a large building.  He influenced more people in his life than I have known in mine.  He was my role model and my idol.I am truly lucky to have had such a good father, and the only regret in life is that I only later realized this.', 'Keep up on the music, man, good work.While technically true, there are plenty of people here that would be willing to listen to anyones story.  Its therapeutic (man Firefox had a heyday with my spelling of that word) for all involved, I think.', '""This is not your fault.""', '(I wrote this comment as a reply to another comment, but when I was ready to post it, reddit said the comment was deleted... so Im just posting it here for your beneift)Im 27 now and I agree with this assessment.  At some point someone close to me told me that my high school/college years would be the best of my life.  For me this was extremely depressing as I didnt have a great time in high school or college and was Worried that things wouldnt ever get better.Ive been out of college for 4 years now.  Ive had some bad times, but it seems each year gets progressively better.  Ive realized that the best years of my life are ahead of me, and I can now focus on actively working toward a better future.', 'I would have told my father I loved him before our last SCUBA dive together.', 'Almost every day I go to work with great people.  People I enjoy working with, and enjoy hanging out with at lunch and after work.  I am extremely lucky to have such a good job.Almost every day I play board games, or poker, or just hang out with good friends.  Friends I trust and care for.  I am extremely lucky to have so many good friends.Every single night for 3 years now, when work is done and everyone has gone home, I sleep in my empty bed and feel lonely.  Just as Im about to do right now.', 'Today', 'Ask her questions about herself, and *listen*.  Ask follow up questions.Be yourself.', 'Do you know what song that is?', 'My mother attempted suicide this year.  Even coming this close has affected me in ways I cant easily describe.', 'Your abuse is not your fault, and your birth is not a mistake.', 'My father once told me ""Son, dont waste your high school years, they will be the best years of your life.""   I used to worry about this so much because high school wasnt so grand for me.  I wasnt one of the in-crowd, and while everyone else was going out doing it like rabbits (or at least, thats what I imagined was happening) I was at home lonely and bored.It wasnt until I went to college, got married, and then got divorced before I realized how wrong my father was.  He was a great man, but Ive had to teach myself to take his advice with a grain of salt, even though I tend to idolize him since he died before I had a chance to lose any respect for him (as it seems most people do as they grow older).Life is what you make of it, and if you want it to get better, it will.']",Indicator
user-230,"['If you are having concerns, you absolutely consult a professional. ', 'Try to remember that most of lifes best moments havent happened yet. ', 'Just be understanding and supportive when he needs you to be. The rest of the time just be his sister. ', 'I dont think anyone can say conclusively if this ""normal behavior"". Although I would say it Tired possible that she can be in denial and afraid to come to grips with your diagnosis. If you feel you need the meds then you would be wise to let that be know to your doctor or therapist so they can back you up. ', 'Ive know many people afflicted by this disorder and for many medication is the only way to have a ""normal"" life. Ask your doctor to play with the dosage of your meds to keep the side effects as minimal as possible. ', 'Why are you messing with this guy?  No one is hitting on anyone. ', 'Dont be overly concerned with a diagnosis from an ER doctor. They are not in a good position to give an accurate diagnosis. If you have a doctor you have been seeing and that knows you decently well, I would consider their word of much more value. ', 'Go see a professional ', 'Therapist here.. Studies have stated that the most common Hallucinations are tactile, followed by auditory and visual. ', 'Not even going to read that all. Looking for a diagnosis online is not appropriate. Go see a professional ', 'Go see a professional', 'If she is saying that she is Worried and doesnt know of she can control herself, you need to call an ambulance. ', 'Its not extremely common but also not unheard off. People will often report not remembering episodes, often disassociating for a short period. Sort of like blacking out.  ', 'Keep your head up man. It will get better if you try. I know this.', 'Or just take your meds. ', 'Some clinicians believe that ""real"" schizophrenia does not have the Emotional upset component. I have meet people who have said they generally dont feel anyway but normal or how they regularly feel. No Feeling angry or Feeling unhappy or changes in mood. I would say that for those that do feel a strong Emotional upset component, they may be better diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. ', 'Yup', 'Go to the ER, show the Dr your old medicine and explain how you cant currently get any but are struggling without it. You shouldnt be hospitalized if you tell them you are not currently a threat to yourself but are concerned you may be if not helped soon. Hopefully the Dr will be kind enough to understand and write you a scrip for a while. In that time you need to find yourself a local clinic or psych in private practice to get you back on your regiment. ', 'Not a naive question at all. But the only real answers will come soon enough. Youll see how the meds affect you, if you are unhappy with the results then you speak with the Dr about trying something else. ', 'Do you hear the numbers being said aloud by a voice? ', 'If it means anything it sounds like you did the right thing. ', 'If you tell them you are not currently experiencing SI/HI or command Hallucinations they should not be able to hold you. ', 'You can do it. Give yourself time to figure this out. Get the treatment you need and life can and will be just what you wanted it to be. It may be 12 days or more. But it will get better. ', 'If she has made Suicidal threats you should contact EMS as soon as possible. Do not allow her to be alone until she is being cared for by professionals.', 'Hey man. Listen things will be ok, you need to get yourself some help. See a psych or therapist. Get your mood back up and then you will see there is hope. Once your feeling a bit better youre gonna take sometime and learn the things you need to know to find a partner and the other things you want for your future. ', 'Your Weakness of hand are tied my friend. Youre best bet is to talk to her and get her to voluntarily seek help. Doesnt have to be a hospital. Otherwise she is an adult and cant be forced until something happens that would force legal issues to force her. Which Im sure no one wants. Talk to her. Use taking care of her kids as a point to try and catch her rational side. ', 'I would be one to agree with you. Truth is that all symptoms vary from person to person and degree. Diagnostic criteria is really a way to try and create a spectrum to try and measure what can only be reported by the client.  ', 'You shouldnt feel like you ""did"" anything to him. What you did is get him the help he needs. I am not schizophrenic, I am actually a licensed therapist and from a clinical perspective you absolutely did what was needed. It sounds like he was havin a pretty severe manic episode. Asking him to voluntarily stay for 2 more days was also a fantastic idea. I know this is all Tired ""easier said than done"" but Ive had to call EMS on people I love and clients alike I can say you can rest easier now knowing he is safe and will be helped. ', 'Downvote that. But believe me what seems hopeless now will not always be there. And shame on whoever downvoted my comment. ', 'It say anything back?', 'Smart ass? Pretentious?  Shit man. I hear Tired often that people need to hear these things again. Be reminded. Often when feeling suicidal, we tend to forget even the most cliche of things. So everything you said sucks. ', 'I need to tell you I say this all the time. I jokingly say that even without one on, some many people assume that what youre doing anyway. ']",Supportive
user-231,"['Youre not being a bitch, and you dont have to ""charm"" anyone; youre Depression and you may just want someone to listen to you. Theres nothing you have to apologize for. Ill listen, if you feel like talking.', 'That ""walking on eggshells"" reaction is the worst- to me it always feels less like real concern and more like pity (even though they mean well). You do have to fight demons primarily on your own, and I know you feel more and more hopeless, but you still do have some left, it seems.', 'I hate to make it into a ""me me"" story, but I can understand where youre coming from. It sucks to be twenty and already feel like youve wasted so much time being a pointless burden on everyone elses life, like everyone else is moving a hundred miles an hour with their lives and Im stuck on a bike with a broken wheel or something. But I will say, youre in school, you have a job, and even a girlfriend- maybe you really arent a total failure? No, nope, not a bit.And a bit of a sidenote: its a sad fucking world where you as a trans* person almost have to expect such gross messages. It must suck. No one here will even think of saying that. Youre a person and you deserve freaking gratitude and common courtesy. And you deserve to live.']",Supportive
user-232,"['I dont deserve to feel better. I am a failure of a person and I deserve to die. My life is ruined and theres nothing left for me now. The things around me, cant be happening, I dont recognize the things around me or myself as real. Everything feels fake and nothing feels true. I dont want to have feelings anymore.', 'Thats ok, done that before myself.. try figuring out how to enter safe mode on your laptop. There should be an option for safe mode when you start the laptop, only lasts a few seconds, but tells you a button to press. Its usually F7. If you cant see it or figure it out, look for the laptop model (should be on the front or bottom of the laptop, ie. HP Pavillion MP) and google or ring up the customer services of the company that made it. They can walk you through it. After that, just choose normal safe mode. you should be able to login with a limited account, go to the control panel and create a new user without a password, then run it as normal. Make sure the new account is administrator mode and tell me what windows you have, and I can find out how to get your old account back.My computer repair course starts next Asthenia.. its a City & guilds course and I dont know how long it lasts. If I find work, it may mean giving it up and then what? Endless slogging away behind a till or washing dishes just because I dont have any money or anybody who even wants me around thats what. Maybe part time or evening courses but then I would have to pay lots of money. Theres always a barrier to everything because Im not rich and i am Illness of it.', 'thanks everyone for your replies its made me feel better', 'Thanks for talking to me. I dont know why but the way you describe it makes me feel a lot better. Its easy to think that youve just gone mad sometimes. I dont meditate but sometimes I listen to samples of rain, I will post a link. Im really Stress out that my thoughts are wrong and my feelings are wrong too. Its so hard to go to a job and work when all of that is in your head. Things were really hard last year it was a bad year when I had worked so hard for it to be a good year for once and it fell apart badly. I even asked the psychiatrists for ECT and they said no way, so I thought OK but that is how crazy I feel. They just keep sending me back home and I cant cope', 'Yes the art thing is more of a hobby so to speak. It requires a little coaching and a lot of initiative on my part to make it work but when things are about something you enjoy then its easier to set goals and pursue them. Sometimes it can get Tired technical with the programs we use. I dont think its good to direct people too much but sometimes a little help with the general practise or whatever can help a really long way. Its sometimes all I do some days but it can be unhealthy as it makes me spend all my time aloneI agree with you with CBT. Somehow its got to a stage where everyone kind of recommends it Fair enough it might work for some people. I feel too grown up to have someone talk down to me and teach me about feelings when they havent been there themselves. And its not easy to simply choose feelings away when something really bad has happened. Throwing my possessions away was a major thing for me to do, it didnt change an awful lot, but I proved to myself that I can make major changes and decisions if I really want to or need to. Youve got to be selfish and brutal with yourself but it can be for the better, the same as losing people who are harmful to you and sending you down the wrong road', 'Sorry you cant get your computer working. Hope you can find somewhere to fix it for you, if all else fails, look for a local PC repair shop in the yellow pages and tell them that youve locked yourself out. Theres many ways to get yourself back in and PC World will only overcharge you (they dont care if they do a bad job as they already have a brand reputation)Yes Ive been doing better these days thanks. My course has been fantastic, I spend my time pulling computers apart and putting them back together and its loads of fun. Today I even set up a simple local network between a few computers. It is Tired basic for a professional but big steps for me and it is great to get out of the house to do something I love. The rest of the Asthenia has been good, some downs but mostly ups. Its rare to have weeks like these when things go good. And it makes me feel strange when I look at my previous comments, like how could I feel so bad? and that I am slowly crawling out of a black hole. It feels so much better that I am doing what is fulfilling instead of trying to live up to what other people should think of me.In a way it is scary to understand that I am allowed to have boundaries and that I am allowed to defend myself and not be vulnerable. No one can talk me into this and convince me, anyone can help but like with many people it is simply a task for themselves to figure out. If theres any sensible statement to make of that, it is that my feelings tell me it is not okay to feel good, and that feelings must be hard, and they have to be intense. I have also been having strange Nightmares and I really want to talk about it. My recurring Nightmares are Tired real as if I have stuffed a whole handful of difficult feelings into some part of my brain and when I sleep they act themselves out. I am always back at my old house, with my family, over 10 years ago, in the kitchen, in the garden, in my old room. And I walk on the fields and walk towards the villages and towns in my head. There are some variations but there are some things that always stick. I know that Im in denial, like the truth is just there, I cant bury it completely. They are so real, it is as if I have halved myself, but time cant move on. Again it is a privilege to talk to someone and thank you so much. Youve been really helpful and no matter what you have been inspiring to me.', 'I felt really cheated from last year, my landlord kicked me out, I lost my job and my university course turned out to be hopeless. Almost the exact same thing happened the year before AND the year before, and it was literally not my fault, I have to live in the cheapest places and work the lowest paid jobs and if they want to  cut costs or anything thats the way it goes. I dont have a family to talk to either and I put so much work in trying to keep them together but it fell apart too. I lost my old job too and all my friends and then I was in a hostel for a year. Its easy to think you have gone mad when these things happen to you so I went to the doctor and asked to have my head examined and to get treatment because something must be wrong with my brain. Because somehow this is my fault no normal person would make all these bad choices and there must be something wrong with me. I dont put in effort in my life like I used to because it never gets me anywhere I just look silly. Anyway sometimes I use this http://rain.simplynoise.com/ it can be relaxing sometimes.', 'Im not sure if I even want help. I want to make things better for myself. And I cant do it. I dont have a reason to live or to try. I cant keep believing in fairy tales. ', 'Thank you, I am seeing the doctor again this Asthenia, I saw him last Asthenia and he Fatigue my antidepressant medication. It is so hard though I do not feel sane, I feel like I am really going mad, I cant relax or slow down or Chill out AT ALL. I am also talking to a counselor but he does CBT and this isnt something that has helped at all. Nothing seems to work. My mind just seems to be crashing into itself and there is nothing I can do, Im so angry too, how did I become so unhinged? Why cant I just feel safe? Last year I was going to kill myself and it was the worst time ever, I was going to kill myself this year by hanging myself but I cant find the strength to do it', 'Yes, a short session wont clear up everything, but Ive already missed a lot of appointments because I cant leave my house. The counselor is going out on a wing because of me (and this isnt the first time) so I have to be really careful this time. Otherwise I wont see him but god knows what he can do with me I am not sure. When I talk about unreality he changes the subject and it is so hard to deal with feeling unreal on your own all the time. I dont want to talk about positive attitudes, staying strong or anything, feeling unreal is something that has happened to me outside of my control. I remember walking down my street as a young teenager and trying to fight it mentally, aggressively and it exploded in my early adulthood. This was so unfair because I tried so hard to stop it from happening and surrounded myself with positive things and people but the unreality kept going, ate up everything. So if I go to the counselor he will talk about methods to help. But I cant be helped, I dont want CBT, Ive already read so many self-help books that tell me its all my fault and my responsibility and Ive tried so hard for so long and got no payback. It is like I am drowning. Whether or not I want to totally admit it, I am drowning in my bad choices. This is all my fault. Somewhere behind me is another me, the one that made this all happen. All I can think of is despite everything I am CHOOSING this. Everything thats happened is completely my fault. Its satisfying to wrap your life in guilt. I want to feel as I used to feel, somewhere a long time ago, before becoming devoured by self pity. Nobody goes this route without choosing it. And Im the only one taking it. If it wasnt chosen how did I end up here? I want my feelings to not matter, I want to trade them away, but I cant and it makes me so sad. I just want to feel the sun again, to feel if I really mattered to anyone.I want to fight someone and I will fight the college that I have just attended. All the students I represented gave nothing in return, I tried to help them, tried to help everyone. ended up getting laughed at. I hate myself. Such a bad choice, I am not a human being. I have to meet a senior member of staff and talk him down. Sometimes I wonder why? was I allowed to become an adult when I should have just been allowed to die at a young age. I do not deserve to be alive', 'The counselor is only half an hour away and on friday I am going to try and be there early. Each time before Ive got lost and given up or not even made it outside the house. This time Im going to prepare myself and make it there in time although I dont know what he can do to help exactly. A lot of the talk about counseling and psychiatrists makes me sad, Ive been in and out of talking treatments for years and they dont help, connecting with another person is so hard because I always block out my feelings and have given up on feeling like I matter or that my feelings matter. It never feels OK to feel hurt. Everyone just shrugs off the unreal feeling as something that will go away one day when I talk about it but over the years it has only got worse and I cant tell if my thoughts are real or if my life is really happening. What my genuine self is has disappeared. Cant look at myself in the mirror or anything with my name on and feel that it belongs to me because its repulsive, makes me feel disgusted.When I came to the place I live now, I never expected things would have turned out so bad and poorly. All I wanted was a job and a safe place to live, and to just be left alone, Id already given up on having a normal life but didnt expect to still be falling apart every day. How could everyone leave just like that was bad enough, but the realisation I cant make it at all is much worse. I sacrificed so much of myself to beat Depression and it swallowed everything that was ever thrown at it, so I just decided to be fake and forget that I was a human permanently. I just want everything to go away. I dont want a diagnosis from the doctor or to speak to more psychiatrists because most of me hates the idea that anyone could care or understand anyway.Even if it wasnt for the Depression, I have lost everything, how can life be worth living now? Just to spend 18 hours in bed every day? Im lucky to have 2 amazing housemates and a group of online friends and Im lucky to talk to you. But is it really worth it when my family and my friends all disowned me and I dont have any chance of getting well enough to stay in work?', 'Thank you, Ive been going to the doctor a lot recently, last Asthenia he Fatigue my antidepressant medication and we talked about going back to see the psychiatrist The problem is that they dont do anything and just send me back anyway unless I get sectioned and I dont want that to happen again. I cant relax or slow down the only thing that I like is drinking heavily and that is really bad for me, and even though Ive cut down it messes up the medication. Theres lots of help and support but it doesnt matter because I feel like Ive lost my mind, Ive gone crazy even though everyone else says Im fine, I was going to kill myself last year and I was planning to kill myself two months ago by hanging myself in the basement but I didnt have the strength', 'I have lost my sense of self.That makes me a narcissist, doesnt it?I am a narcissist.', 'I wanted to go into IT and fix computers for a living or do something with computer security I didnt finish the course my interests are guitar, horror movies, computers, music, alcoholMy doctor Fatigue my medication today', 'thanks, I didnt know much about the open university.... i will have a look today. Saw the doctor yesterday too, its been a Asthenia since the doctor upped my dosage and Im feeling Tired nervous, my Weakness of hand are Tired shaky, he said that was normal and should go away soon. Been on ssp before, they dont tend to be Tired reasonable and will probably not pay more than \xc2\xa340 pounds a Asthenia. Its easier to fake a weekly jobsearch when you sign on. But its not like Im not looking for work, I even got an interview yesterday. The doctor also referred me to a counselor but I cant deal with things enough to make the appointments.. I have to try againIts so hard to go outside. As soon as I start walking down the street I start feeling nauseous. Its something that doesnt get better if you just bare with it. Going shopping can be the worst, big bright lights everywhere, long queues and loud noises. Most days than not I cant make it out longer than 5 minutes. It didnt use to be like this, it used to be a lot easier, but now its overwhelming, maybe when the medication starts working a little better it will be easier.I really appreciate talking to you theres nothing rambling about what youre saying.... it would be easy if I could just hold down a job but right now my state is so bad and I feel like a vegetable, hardly eating or exercising, just sleeping. Used to have recurring Nightmares about my family but theyre going away now, maybe the medication has started working.. its the only thing I can hope for. I like to beat myself up about how I cant do things for myself or take care of myself, like there should be no reason to be incapacitated, my parents would always say You have two working Arms and legs. Since I ran away the only times they have called me is to demand money.. they think the world owes them everything and I have Nightmares all the time about growing up. Its horrible when I hear my thoughts in the voice of my mother and sometimes they drag me down. Used to talk to the samaritans a lot when things were really bad a couple of months ago', 'Its tough to be nice to myself, I find it hard to find a reason to do so, treating myself with respect can be Tired challenging. I contribute so little to the world and feel guilty. All my relationships have broken down and it has been one bad year to the next. Its hard to find things to value or value myself. At the moment I have given up with my life and dont want to go on with it or face reality any more. All I do is sleep and I hardly ever leave the house. I hate how I should anything of value because it always means someone can come along and ruin it.I studied creative IT and wanted to be a web designer. but the course was really badly run and the lecturer was horrible, it was so bad that I want to get my course fees back, I havent even received my results. This was one of the only things I wanted in my life, to have a degree and it turned out to be a waste of time and money. I am so angry at them for ruining that. It was just so wrong for them to do that. Im making a formal complaint against them but I might even take them to court and sue them Im getting advice about it. They are bastards and they ruined everything for me. I dont see how things can turn out good now. There just dont seem to be any options. I need to get a job but I cant even go outside most days. Every time I go outside its like the whole world is spinning and everythings against me. Theres so little to hold on to and I feel like one of these days Im just going to get drunk and jump off a bridge or go for the hanging idea', 'Thank you so much. Its hard to see a reason to live or a point to go on. Im Tired of being a looser. After all the work I put into my future it all fell apart and it has been so lonely. My future is empty and Im so Worried it will be like this forever now. What place do I have in the world, do I get a chance to have one at all? How did things turn out this way. Why do I hide in my room every day and stay away from people. I might as well be dead. Going to a park can be Tired stressful sometimes, I would try to read a book or to enjoy the sun, but things would feel wrong, its like theres a machine in my head that goes crazy when I stay outside too much. Sometimes its nice though. Used to go jogging a lot until the phobia became too bad. I tend to go shopping quite late, while its quiet, or sometimes go for long walks, its the only thing I can do to stop feeling so isolated.You are right about my family problems, something happened when I was talking to the doctor once he took my blood Pressure as a routine thing, he talked to me about my family to try and calm me down, instead it went extremely high and he apologised. I didnt feel angry, but probably because it was just being bottled up. In a way this how Ive been living, in a world of denial and blocking out feelings by any means necessary, so I cant feel those feelings again. I even hate it sometimes when people try to make me feel better, I dont deserve to, I dont even want to feel good if it means I dont have to feel so bad again.', 'Ive been telling myself since a child how lucky I should feel for the things I have. But Im not capable of making a contribution of society. I just get to sit here. I tried volunteering for years. I spent whole months volunteering until I realized, I was just volunteering myself away. It looks like the only good Im useful for is washing dishes and serving people their big macs. That doesnt make me feel lucky. I dont feel lucky at all. ', 'Yes I used to volunteer an awful lot, I left when it stopped helping. I was so messed up anyway at that point in my life, just trying to hold onto whatever opportunity came up, and soon it felt obvious to me that volunteering was not what I wanted or needed. It didnt get me noticed or improve my situation at any point and looking back it was just something to with the only people who could be bothered with me and even then after that they crossed me off the books and I was alone again. Theres something that I am involved in, which you could call volunteering, I dont want to say much about it, but its to do with a creative art project, I do it online with other people and help them with things. It gives them a creative outlet and something to do and they really appreciate it. Its also a lot of fun to help others too especially when theyre new to it. So thats what I concentrate on sometimes, it gives me some focus and helps me enjoy life a little more, in a way its one of the only things worth living for at the moment. The jobcenter are sending me to a work based learning course next Asthenia too as part of the jsa agreement but its something Im interested in and looking forward too.The counselling went pretty badly, I only lasted 10 or 15 minutes! The counselor was trying to explain CBT to me (like my old counselor) and using CBT techniques, when I tried explaining feelings of unreality and feeling unreal, he said it was a thought not a feeling, and that really sparked off something in me for some reason. It has been tough because Ive always been exploited in my life by the people I trusted but when he said that I started losing my grip and had to leave. Feeling unreal is something I have struggled with and he wasnt listening to me, he was debating me and it felt horrible.I see what you mean about guilt and even just imagining living without guilt is hard but it is worth trying to fight it to find a better life somewhere. Ive tried stripping down my life before, throwing away most of my possessions, shredding all my old documents, but I cant seem to find an end point to where my mind is satisfied. Theres never been a rock bottom just things getting worse and worse. That causes a lot of Anxiety and makes the guilt even harder to deal with, its a deadly combination of emotions', 'Its nice to talk to you btw I felt a little more normal when you talked about your own experience of Depression and that made things a little easier somehow', 'I dont know. Ive never been so withdrawn before. I am not eating, not exercising properly at all, not facing responsibilities. Things are piling up and slowly spiralling out of control. It would only take a little effort but I cant face anything. On Friday I am seeing a counselor. But thats all I can find, a 30 minute slot. I cant keep living alone  and ringing the samaritans and surviving on benefits. A part of me just wants to give up and go home but theres no home to go back to. Everythings spinning around and it hurts too much. I could keep on blocking things out but honestly how much longer is that going to work? Its the only way Ive learned to deal with things and its becoming so destructive.Nobody is going to understand how the last several years have been, i havent had any friends or been able to take care of myself so I was always getting Illness and losing jobs. Nobody wants to deal with me in the world because I am a third class person in a first class world and I dont belong here. It is horrible to go out for a walk and feel Dizziness and naseous because everythings blurring and spinning in my head. All I can think is that this can not possibly be happening. Somewhere out there was the way that things were supposed to have happened and this isnt right, this is not what is real. the whole situation is suffocating.I can still get a job but theres no strength or stability in my life and I feel like my soul has gone How would the things in my life have happened to me if I wasnt a bad person.How can I justify it to myself?', 'i dont understand how or why youre trying to help but helping is something you seem to like doing and I am Tired grateful. You seem to be a special human being and I appreciate talking to you.Finding work is not hard. All you have to do is apply to 000s of places, concentrate hard and have a clear idea about the work involved so that you can explain it to the agent, interviewer, or manager. It takes up to a few weeks to have a job imo and Ive proved it to myself, when Ive really needed a job, my sense has kicked in, and you get a job. Sometimes even the challenge of something new, even if it was Burger king being in charge of the frying, that was ok. But something kicked in and Im acting destructive, acting out, refusing to work to thwart myself. Im not stupid Ive already had a lot of potential leads and done everything in my power to make sure I remain unemployed.I CANT keep acting out like this forever. Or mayb, but what am I trying to say? Its not like I know what Im doing. If Im honest, I am screwing myself over because of feelings of shame and the habit to withdraw. Ive lived on subsistence so long, it is hard to break away. I tend to imagine if a more aggressive person suddenly came into my body, wouldnt they take everything and exploit the things around them? Im a male and full of testosterone, but I want to wash it away, I dont want myself, it is comforting to think I am inherently bad.  Funny how I used to make fun of my religious education teacher about sin under the premise it was a skewed belief and simply the product of guilt. But guilt is powerful and addictive and I DONT believe the feelings we live with are feelings we grow up with or an adult choice but feelings we get used to in between and forget.', 'are you alright, Is your computer still giving you hassle?', 'I kept getting thrown out of places I lived in because my landlords didnt like me. I paid my rent on time and was a good tenant but they would throw me out anyway. My job let me down, then another job let me down. Then my university let me down and I just dont know what to say or think anymore. Ive tried so hard and worked so hard and it was all for nothing. Now all I do is sleep. Theres nothing left for me here. Im not allowed to want anything']",Behavior
user-233,"['Thanks for your help. Yeah I believe he is willing to go by himself but I would still like to go if nothing else just to support and be there for him. Hes a real popular guy, one of the big dicks on campus politically wise, and yet hes only this open to me. I dont even think that Im his best friend so since hes only open to me I think thats reason enough for me to be there, ill probably make it more comfortable for him.Basically the only part Im stuck on is whether or not I tell the docs he ACTUALLY TRIED to kill himself, instead of simply cutting. Much love, thanks for the genuine reply.']",Indicator
user-234,"['http://i.imgur.com/6A7j9EC.jpg Me :)', 'Yes, I am safe from others harm.', 'Okay thats fine.Its a lot of things. I have bipolar and the past Asthenia and a half I was manic. Now Ive crashed and am Depression. Just standing up takes so much out of me. Sometimes I dont even have a reason to be Depression. My bf is supportive and cares a lot but I feel like eventually its going to get to him and he will break or leave me. I feel like he doesnt put me first (aside from his son, his son is first but I meant other than his son). I am feeling so alone right now and I feel like the best option is suicide. I realize its not the only option but its the one I see that will be best. I will never get rid of my bipolar and Ill always feel so damn awful inside and will be alone forever because of the way I am despite taking medication. I hate myself and I have Anxiety that prevents me from going in public a lot. When Im manic I see shit and and crazy.I have panic attacks often and I feel discouraged. I just want to feel respected and most of all. Happy. I fantasize about putting a gun to my head and pulling the trigger. A part of me feels like I wont even do it because Im scared Theres a hell and that Ill burn forever especially because I just had an abortion. Im fucking damned. Im a pussy because I cant even gain the strength to kill myself. But lately I feel like Im caring less about the consequences and fears. I just want to be gone forever. ', 'Hell yeah I would. It has ruined so many relationships and has caused me horrible suffering. ', 'Sent you my number', 'Thank you :)', 'I feel it. Ive taken Lamictal, Anxiety meds and supplements, worked out, ate healthy, and it still seems like nothing works. It feels useless at times. ', 'I have been through a lot in my life. I was raped by my two half brothers at a young age, dated a 28 year old when I was 13 who just used me, parents divorced, started cutting early, dated a guy who I lived with for 2 years who beat me/controlled me and my life(wasnt even able to talk to my brother)/sexually abused me once, and my dad was abusive over religion. I just want a break. I want the Pain and Pain to end. ', 'I cant change the fact that I have bipolar. I have tried to accept it and try to love myself but its hard because I cant help but feel Depression even if I dont have a reason to be. I love my bfs son Tired much. Im just Worried that my bf is going to Pain me. Hes shown he loves and cares about me but then he does certain things that causes me to feel like he doesnt. ']",Ideation
user-235,"['My brother committed suicide three years ago. His 29th birthday would have been tomorrow. Look, someone who is serious about committing suicide is going to find a way to do it no matter what. He is going to resent you, be mad at you, maybe even hate you, but none of that will matter as soon as someone runs screaming that he killed himself. You dont want to go through what I did. I will never be able to think about my brother without crying. I cant even say out loud that my brother is dead, there is nothing I can do about it and that he is gone forever. You need to tell your parents and get him help. I dont care if he is mad at you, better mad at you then dead. I regret so many days that I didnt tell my brother I loved him. Dont ever tell someone who is thinking of committing suicide to do it, dont challenge them. Because what if he did? You would never be able to live with yourself. Ever. Let him know that you are not out to get him, tell him you love him. I dont know if this would help, but write him a letter. In this letter, write what you would want to say if he did do it. Unfortunately, people dont understand what they are to people. I still write my brother letters even though he is dead, telling him whats going on, so its like hes not even missing it. Seriously, find him some help. If he resents you, thats fine. You might have to admit him into a hospital on suicide watch if youre afraid he might do something. ']",Indicator
user-236,"['It gets better. Your wasting your life.  A lot of people have been where you are and made better lives for themselves. If you dont want to see that though theres nothing we can do to help you. Buck up dont fuck up', 'There isnt any point to anything so why end it?So what if none of the socially constructed ideas of the meaning of life really mean anything? Does that really change anything or just your perception of it?Was parkour the only thing that really made you want to keep living? Dont you think that there might be something in life that could appeal to you at the same level that parkour does?We only get one shot. Were only here for a short time and then we can spend the rest of our time in hell, in the dirt or whatever the fuck you believe. Why rush it? Why try and force something that will happen naturally? The world is shit. Humans are mostly shit. But that doesnt mean there arent the good parts. Smoke a bowl, eat some food and revel in the fact that you do exist and that you are here. Does it matter that you lack any identifying factors from those around you? Does it matter who gives a shit about your name after youre dead?Being in high school is hard. Its not just the people. Its the anxiety. Its the feeling that your entire life will be as shitty as it is then. That is a full possibility. I thought it would end in high school but its my first year of college and it isnt different. I know exactly how you feel with people. I get them. Women are often attracted to me but I feel like i cant connect with others like they do to me. I know someone else just like this as well and Ive had the exact same conversation with him where we ask: ""whats the point?"". There isnt a point. Theres two doors for you to travel through now. One is certain. We both know what happens when we die. Nothing. We were dead for the infinite amount of time that came before our births. Dont bullshit yourself. The other door is uncertain. You dont know where it will lead or if it will even be good. But you dont know! If there is nothing that you can fathom that could be behind the door of uncertainty that can make you happy then sure. Pick the other door. You just better be fucking sure and not do this after drinking while on anti depressants next to daddys gun closet. We all know how its going to end. For me I just hope its not full of regret. One fucking shot dude ']",Supportive
user-237,"['I started anti-DP treatment this morning.Feeling like a turd.I just had the worst night filled with ala Ripper victorian horror nightmares.Im alive but I still dont see where Im heading now, I feel Ive been doing so much wrong around me all my life, hurting myself and those who tried to love me.I was just trying to get it right by myself, out of pride, like a selfish bitch that I am. I didnt want chemical help because I see this as Asthenia (sorry to fellows who rely on it, you can have a good laugh at me now).Im trying hard to relax, surrounded by records and Smith the cat (Im a Redditor, after all).I guess that moving from /r/SuicideWatch to /r/depression/ can be called a success, somehow.I now have an additionnal therapist, my relatives are trying their best not to leave me by myself those few first days of treatement, but Id like to keep on conversing here too, as I realized I feel more confortable online.Maybe someday I can return the favor. Thanks again.', 'I started AD treatment after refusing it for years, maybe I wanted to prove myself I could overcome this on my own. But the results are what they are: my pride led me to failure in my professional and personal life.I never gave up before though.I always got myself back in the race because I always found hope in something.My hope is gone. Now what?', 'I am willing to talk.Im recovering from an attempt to take my life, and just started treatment.I dont know what will turn out of it, but I know for sure Im better at helping others than myself.Try me. Whats your deal?(If anyone reads this and thinks this is a bad idea, please tell me)', 'Im aware of the time it takes to kick in. They were prescribed by a new psychiatrist I started seeing.The hard time is before/after sleep. For now, I just cant begin to forgive myself.I dont want to be a victim, but then it means its all my fault.Someone I really cared about left because she couldnt deal with my anxiety. I dont blame her though.I blame myself.', 'I just started taking those just a few days ago (10), because I tried to kill myself. I have a hard time writing this down...First I thought about ways of doing it, I still dont know if I really wanted to die, but the fact is I ended emptying a full bottle of benzodiazepine with alcool.I feel so ashamed.I just wanted the Pain to go away.', 'IMO, crisis is a state of mind, a total loss of confidence between people and what they can do for each other as a group or society.So, unfortunately, youre right to be worrying about what can be perceived on your resume. Im unemployed myself and cant figure out how to saddle up again. I considered taking a one-way ticket just like you. I feel competent in many fields, and Im an interview-killer just as Im sure you are. But I cant regain the confidence that went away with all thats happened for years now, and Im scared to death.I taught myself how to read at the age of four with those old cassettes-bookcases. I was immediately labeled as ""genius"" and put up to every podium adults could find to congratulate themselves having such a brilliant son/pupil/whatev.The expectations were sky-high on me.In my teen years, I started a short (but quite succesful) career in amateur skateboarding, which was to me a liberation, but to people watching over me way below what they thought my potential was. I dropped because all that I was heading to was a job in this industry and I already figured out that the business was as tough as anywhere else, people using people using other people...Then I figured I had to get a ""real"" job, so I got to work in the web and gaming industry at 20, dropping my studies, because I knew I was able and I liked the idea to produce stuff that made people go ""Dya see dat?"" and succeeded for some years.Until it started to get at me, like bad. I just had the revelation that what I liked doing for a living was bad for me, because of the environment that went with it.Im 34 now, just started recovering from a suicide attempt, started treatment this morning and realized I have no idea who I am or what Im gonna be for the rest of my life.I found that perfect quote once by Thelonious Monk:>""The genius is the one best at being himself.""I hate to say it, because its terribly obvious and I still have a Tired difficult time believing it myself, but just maybe, the way is finding out what you are, and just fucking be the best at it. And if the environment youre in starts getting at you, thats because youre not fit to it, and thats not a bad thing, because it does not mean you are sane if you fit in an environment that isnt.Now, I understand your present situation may not encourage you to move on, the direction youre heading to is what matters most, not the place you are.As you can see, I do too feel the need to talk because of recent events and dont want to take too much room, this discussion is about you, but I feel you and I are not so different at finding our way in this fucked-up and twisted society of ours.But buddy, there will always be people like us, the danger is thinking were alone. Were not. Were just appart.Were in the right place. Talking.I find your writing excellent and spirited, consider that for a sec.Just keep rolling. Oh, and be sure to check out a Rodney Mullen interview, this dude is the Dala\xc3\xaf-Lama on a skateboard.', 'For now, I feel like Im barely standing on this first step.Thanks for your support. Hope well chat again, and wish you success on this long road.', 'Thanks for the meditation thingy, Ill give it a try.As I wrote, I dont blame her for preserving herself, shes been through as much as anyone, regarding death and illness.Shes reachable but things were said that we cant take back. She willingly broke the line so I cant get hold onto her. I guess shes right in a certain way.I wont try anything before I feel real changes in me. I gotta get myself up again, but even if I succeed Im afraid to face all the good things that could have happened to me before that I just fucked up because of, sorry for that, what I cant resign myself to call *illness*.', 'I always tried hard to ""man the fuck up"" myself, I always end up alone in Fear and anxiety.', 'Ive been Depression on and off for years, now. Untreated. Too proud.I feel that all my choices in life are based on something that Im not. I now believe that it is the true cause of my depression.Im over 30, had big expectations put on me Tired early, and failed at building a career or personal life.Failure. Again, and again.Cant tell all this to anyone I know because, well, having lived with it for so long, I learned to hide it and Im still this smart-funny-pleasant dude, and Im scared to show my true self, not being taken seriously.The last failure was a personal one, the girl I lived with for months and truly believe is the one, because she was able to *SEE* me. She left a month ago, right after what she saw was how Anxiety I could get.I cant blame her for not being by my side in this, she has her own problems and felt unsecure around me.After losing her, I felt like nothing could ever be right again, so *I crossed the bridge*. I blacked out from the pills and alcool, but woke up, so I tried to go get some more, the rest is fuzzy. I got help from my family, somehow.I still feel the same, I hope therapy and treatment will help.Hope is all Ive left, but sometimes I wish I had none, so I could be relieved.', 'Acceptance / Rejection', 'I cant remember well writing this, because I had already started popping BZDZPM down with booze at the time.Curiously enough, writing something here was to me the most appropriate way to express what I felt, although I practicly never do.I woke up few hours later. Time had gone, disappeared to be precise.The pills were all gone, too. I stood with some effort to go get some more.I finally got to reason to get help. Its going to be a long road.Im writing this because for the few people that took a moment of their attention to focus on my distress.It made me realize I lack the ability to express my inner pain, and it could have come to something that should not have happened.I had never in my wholelife considered something that extreme before.I feel failure so deep in my life that it seems I cant even end it properly.Thank you all again.', 'Do you feel you are meant for greatness?That your Weakness of hand are made to produce something really valuable?(Not in a ""pickin gold from the street"" Tony Montanas way, naturally)', 'I dont know if my problem is the result of my situation or the opposite.Im Depression because I failed at everything because Im Depression because, etc...']",Attempt
user-238,"['Most people in life are not equipped with the skills to survive. Just like a new born were the most vulnerable mammal out there, yet we are the most intelligent. So how do most of us make it thru to the next day? Look in to the skill set of a person and you will find the answers. You may not have standard school skills, or even girl skills but you may not have had the right opportunities. You may have had impossible teachers regarding school, heck they dont pay them Tired well in my state. The women on the other hand could be a different story. Some women are fake and materialistic or just want it all because they think they can. You may find that some of them arent looking for that at all, and really just want someone to relate to. Keep this attitude when you are considering who you choose to attempt a break through with or spontaneous conversation. Look closely, Tired closely at the business area in your city and look for the place that has the need and the money to help your employment situation. Try really hard to disallow your thoughts of pending doom to bring down your hope for a job. A job is the only thing that may bring your spirits up at this point. Ive seen this sad\\happy chain of events happen all the time, including myself. Spend every waking hour like a soldier behind enemy lines with only five bullets left and 6 enemies who have you trapped in a bunker. All you need to do is kill 2 with one shot, then your hope is back where it should be, an even fight for life. Dont expect a miracle, just hard work on your part. Everyday use all the resources you can, and ditch any friends for now that dont have your back on this or try to lead you to self medicate.  Edit: Please dont take the bullet theory to literally.', 'I broke up with my fiance last night, for real. That was hard to write just now. The thoughts of a love one are connected to your heart with a fish hook. Its there to keep you together through all the scenarios where people would like to keep the relationship true in all aspects. If he was brought up to think the same as you, then the timing would be more in tact. But if (like me) he loves for the wrong reason, then your relationship timing is off and the train wreck will happen. Its also important to know about a mans relationship with his mother; good or bad and how you compare to his mom. If its bad and youre not like her, then good. If its good and youre not like her, then its bad. Then the X factor, some ""other"" factor comes in to play. Its Tired tough to find the timing and the right person and no X factors until youre married and happy. I know the feeling of waking up and the reality kicks in. Im sitting in it right now. I can also tell you Ive tried to take pills and that was enough for me to realize that I do not want to do that to myself ever again. I was 15 at the time, and I still remember listening to Fade to Black by Metalica and feeling like the world turned its back on me. It feels that way again for me, but I think its necessary to complete my true feelings and to acknowledge how I owned the relationship. This may happen throughout your life, just remember that Pain is more intense and slow, but all the good times go by fast. If you weigh them, Im sure the good times outweighed the bad.', 'During my twenties and early thirties I always felt my my mind was idling higher than normal and getting high or drinking took the edge off. I did this everyday for most of my life since my parents were in to it and ""It"" seemed to always be around. When I would stop using, my mind would race off again and I gained the pills and knife you had and made attempts that did not work. What I did learn from this was: The act of trying was enough for me to finally learn I didnt want to go thru with it. Theres always a part of the ride we dont like, but Ill bet there are times when its pretty fun. Just having a sentient brain, knowing were on a rock in the Milky Way...? Youll have plenty of time to be gone, you only have a blink of an eye here. Take what you have been given and apply it to someones life to make it better. For me I had a child, then also someone who I take care of, someone who had real bad luck and deserves help. I keep busy and Ive forgotten why checking out was important. Remember to tell yourself that tomorrow will bring a different set of variables, but you may have to invoke them yourself. ', 'I have to wonder where strength comes from. I wonder if its chemicals balanced in my head, current events like a job, relationship, family, etc. I wonder if my thinking may pour the wrong chemicals in to the soup and this brings me closer to depression. I think that Im lucky to have gone so far lately without bad events in my life, I guess this is why I feel I need to give back, like you said you do for some people. I get the sense of how strong your personality is and at first I thought it may be hard for me to provide help. Someday when evolution drags us out of the mud and we begin to help everyone and everyone is treated fairly or at least given a chance to be happy, we will all be better for it. Sometimes I picture myself way down the road during times when I just want to give up, knowing when I get better I can look back and say, you didnt give up completely. I really believe life has ups and downs to great degrees, there are tests, and there are achievements. Maybe there is a weight on your ankle, use your stubbornness to carry it with you, someday you will find a way to break this chain and regain the brightness of the child that was you. The challenge for us sometimes is to be a father to that child, and give him encouragement, this may be weird but it could provide support. If you feel as though you failed somewhere, remember you can always make up for it in other ways. It doesnt stop the memory, but it is one way to heal. I wish you well and that someone helps you as much as you have helped others. I leave you with a quote that has helped me see clearly: ""All WILL be well, All will be WELL.', 'How will you know the difference between people who want attention, those who really are ready to commit to what they are saying and also hoaxes? How can you be sure they are not posting under a new name afterwards because they did not go thru with it or due to embarrassment? How can we block all these posts with this single minded thinking? Will you be able to live with the fact that there may be people who post this type and didnt go thru with it? I can see if they didnt go thru with it, would they really care if we deleted their post?, probably. Maybe they want to feel as if they did do it and need to understand the most important lesson that one could ever learn. The lesson for me was this: After an attempt no matter how significant of an attempt it was, how my mind reflected back on what happened and I learned that I do not want to try it again. For me, I never tried again as the motion of trying was enough for me to learn from it. Trying to control what a person thinks before it happens is great, this is why were here. I do not understand shunning all posts of this kind. No sir, I disagree.', 'I believe my life to be a vinyl record. Id like to think the pauses in between each song is where all seems lost, dismal and bleak. The comforting sound starts again, I smile and move on. Then the final songs ends and the record player just makes the clicking noise or pulls out and comes to a rest waiting to be played again someday by ""The Conductor"". It could be an eternity until he wants to hear that record again, depending on how good my lifes music was.', 'Anyone willing to give up on someone who is need of help or in your example disappearing from Reddit after a good bye cruel world post is missing the point. If Im trying to seek attention for my worries, then let me for-fill that need. You should use your ability to help in an out of the box thinking fashion. I understand your point but you may not understand that there are people who have psychological issues that come here in a last ditch effort. Youre just being the same as the people in their life that say they are invalid, thus youre causing more harm then good. Especially if your analogy is incorrect or not always the case. I do agree with some of your other post-comment ideas. ', 'If there was a way of telling you have a ""Soul"" or some kind of energy that floats around or maybe a ""Spirit"" of sorts, dont you think we would have been able to invent a way of detecting it? We should have been able to detect something, anything either leaving the body or detectable within the confines of your body. My approach to Fear is logical because Fear is only what you feel, a response to something unknown or something just plain scary. If we could photograph the ""Soul"", Ghost or whatever and truly make the connection that I believe we havent made yet, thats when Ill be afraid. Bricks will be shat at that point. But until then, logic tells me when I squish an ant and his matter is no longer functioning, hes gone and there is nothing left, no thoughts, no conscientious, youre just an inanimate object, just like the dirt youre lying in. Sorry bout the commas, its an issue with me.', 'If you think these issues you have are negative, or effect you negatively, this may be your changing point. They are apart of you, you may not be able to change this so what there is to change is how you perceive this as a negative. Its like your bother\\sister who doesnt do well in math. Theyre still your relative, do you love them less for it? Absolutely not, you go about your life helping them when you can. Be a brother to yourself and help out where you can but do not love yourself less for it. ', 'Being examined under a spotlight can make you question yourself more then whats needed to realize the truth. I would stop worrying about specific answers. I would try different things to see if you can find something that changes your moods. Like walking, eating certain foods, etc. Youre only here for a Tired short time, trust me youll want to remember how you fought it to the end instead of how Sharp Pain you gave up or how easy of a decision it was. You were given a life, you can do what ever you want. If you wish life to be good for others because yours has gone bad then do something for others. Do anything you well please because sometimes we get stagnant and need a change. Ever notice that caring for yourself is harder then caring for someone else? Dont allow your own disregard be a factor. Could you treat yourself better? Give yourself what you need instead of what you want? Can you make attempt to put yourself in to scenarios where you get the interaction you need? Focus on an effort to get you moving forward with what may be your path of happiness.  ', 'You can turn it around partially and find something to leave your soul in tact and move to the upper side of life. You could take a few weeks and work on your physical strength and such, then post some ads on Craigslist or something and go on a date. You may need to lower your standards but be talkative, and smile. Dont give up, and put in some effort and Im sure youll find someone or something you want to do. I take comfort in knowing I will always find myself looking up instead of down. Yes, I get Depression but I know myself, and only myself can get me out a hole like that.', 'It almost seems like our social environment with the wrong people in it can have a downward spiral effect. I imagine like all other planned events, we do not have social coordinators to help.This is just an idea.(When I become a Billionaire).A giant gym like building with flashing neon lights but smells of a dentist office.First you walk in and you have the option to take a shower, while you clothes are UV cleansed and your choice of fragrance. You are all the while calmed by the choice of music you picked while waiting your turn. Youre met by the gender of choice tech\\counselor. The Personalysys report signifies one of four colors based on your personality. You have a large visible colored marker and you can then gravitate to people that score the same as you. Your assessment is completed, your diagnostic results provided. Youre put in to a small crowd to mingle, then a second larger room with more people\\applicants.  If you still feel unmotivated, you go to the last room, where you can ask for anything you want, but in return we give you what you need. After all the results and surveillance of your behavior we give it to you straight. You then have the option of starting over the next day. ', 'It sounds like to me like you need a friend to get you out of the pity party and start kicking ass. My guess is it has to do with your persona or maybe your altered persona. It seems like the classic story, Mom who supports, abusive father and the fantasy\\reality of being the other sex. I can imagine that all these things makes you who you are in a world so cold, when you leave the door, youre life has no circle. There is no one to circle back to; enriching your life. You may have made a wrong turn in life, I feel your dedication to life has to do with the time you were ready to be your own leader in life, and if life threw you a bone, it may have been the best bone ever. But missing your time to grow as your own leader has past, youre only left with leaning on someone else to ""Take care of you"". Use the computer to find people, and if you agree, find someone out there that is into what you have to offer. Maybe coming to America? San Fransisco is where I was born, you wouldnt have a problem there, but its super expensive nowadays. Hang in there kid, youre just a young-in and those thoughts will go away as you mature and hopefully learn from life. Youll find that life is about adjustment and overcoming your challenges so you may someday sit back and say...yeah I was like before, but now I might be able to help someone myself. And so it was I did almost die from my own stupidity and here I am, still stupid...jk - there is a billion things life has to offer, dont give up until you learn the majority of them. You wouldnt want to go before seeing whats behind door number two would you? ', 'The more I look around, the more I see people being tortured by their own struggles and successes in life. Every job, every super hot women, everything made with style, fashion, and allure. Nothing to do with quality, integrity, and practical methods. I see people moving with this change, and becoming more plastic as the programing changes. Please do believe we are being controlled and you my friend need to see it first hand. I wish I had a magical relocation tornado, I would send it to your coordinates to ""Gently"" pick you up and move you to environment that would give your life meaning. When I was young, I gave up on life just because it didnt go exactly as planned, then I found the one thing that keeps me here. I found that even though Im an introvert, I only derive Emotional upset and tangible rewards from helping others successfully. It sounds like you just havent found this meaning and youre willing to give up on this fact. I also realized AFTER a failed attempt how much I didnt want to go through with it after all. To me when I reflect back its like my destiny needed a close call with death for a specific reason and I now know what that reason is. It took me 20 years to figure this out.', 'I guess you could say I was two steps away from being you. Somehow, my path changed and today I look back and say Fuck!, I could have been spiraling down or worse by now if I didnt take a different path. I never talk to my parents and I tried having sex with random people, the same picky attitude about how they act, dress or even what music they like. Same issues down there my friend. My father molested my sister and both parents were on psychedelics. it was the early 70s and Love?, not really. Unless you consider, Hey man, can you hold my baby while I do this line of coke? love...again its nice to be all loved but my point is next. I found a lady friend online and we were more friends then anything else, time went on and we spent allot of time together, really no intimacy, just lost of booze and smoke, and lots of chillin. As we all know people want sex so eventually we were both frustrated without it. We sorta went our separate ways at that point. Jump forward about six months and I was back online looking for ""Love"". The funny part is I found myself looking for posts she might make...wait was I envious of my old friend? I found a post that just had to be her. I replied not knowing but found out things had gotten worse for her, really bad people with the white in their nose kinda people. They took over her house and set up camp. It took people with guns (not the police) to remove these people to say the least. All her possession destroyed lost or stolen including her dads ashes. I helped her back to her Oedema of extremity visiting her at a shelter, allowing her to stay with me and eventually live with me. She lost her son, her marriage was already in shambles and everything she owned gone, just gone. I had tried suicide when I was young and for the most part I gave up on life, but like a cat I somehow always land back on my Oedema of extremity. My lady friend tried to commit suicide in a thrift store dressing room using a belt, but was luckily found by a medical student and after 10 minutes or so, she survived with little or no drain bramage..lol. Over time she moved back with me after a stay in the hospital. I know youre thinking what? why?...why would anyone want to spend time with a crazy person who reached the end of her civilized life to reach bottom, try to commit suicide, and be mostly an alcoholic mess? Because of the validation of a little myth called Love. I couldnt have sex with the person I loved most until years later after the mess had cleared, and time had sealed some wounds with scar tissue. Today we have a love that holds its water and we live with happiness, joy , respect, and we help each other on our issues constructively. Im still the same person that gave up some many years ago, but to tell you the truth I now wish to have a few more days with this person as its better then going down that road again. Its not the easiest thing to care for a troubled soul, but somehow its my sacrifice for all the harm to myself and others Ive caused. I now care more about how she makes it through then my own destiny.TLDR: If you loose the love for life in yourself, you may find it in someone who needs it more then you do.', 'I have been viewing Reddit for the longest time, I think theres a name for someone like me, I dont remember what they called it, but I registered today after reading your post. Im not really sure why I registered but one thing I believe in is this: Everything that significantly happens in your life needs to be talked about with rational sense to come to place where your brain can be OK with it. It truly sound like youre just around the corner from us, metaphorically meaning if you have the right audience, the right ears with the right background on the facts, youd see there is comfort in understanding your own Pain. Its like your being pushed down stairs right now and it sounds like its persistent. Take any other time in your life when you picked yourself up and moved on... and just because option are running low doesnt mean the game is over. Go out fighting, but dont let the reality or weight of current issues bring you too far down. I also believe in fate, that you were probably meant to reach the bottom of the barrel as a re-potting of values, experience, balance and a new you at the end of it all. People are not human unless they change, yours is just involuntary.  I wish you better days to come as you make them come, try to be happy for something that cant be taken away from you. For me, its right now, every day....Im alive and I think about just that one thing...""I have a great smile"" ... it makes other smile too, something along those lines, like when you were young, the simple things can still make you believe in yourself and provide simplistic meaning. Its also a great break from worrying about all the issues being thrown your way. At least for me, taking this time out of my day I only hope it lets a small ray of sunshine upon you and youre family.']",Attempt
user-239,"['My mothers father killed himself and any time she sees his belongings she cries. She cries so deeply that it hurts my heart, even though I didnt know him and I have no fatherly figure in my life. Her grief over him is not gone, and it has been at least 15 years. ']",Indicator
user-240,"['No. If you do something stupid like hurting yourself youll destroy her life. How will the people who care about you feel if you Pain yourself? Youll feel better and normal again. Trust me. Dying is not the answer. Let nature take care of that. Everyone makes mistakes, dont beat yourself up over it. At least give your girl a chance. Spill your guts to her and let her decide if she still loves you.', 'Yeah, my favorite part. SNACK ATTACK! ', 'Things will get better. Im not religious at all, but I really feel that you can alter things. If you think positive thoughts and *believe"" things will work out for you and life will be good, things do work out and life is good. Check this out, it always makes me smile [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yAwTGvqFUg](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yAwTGvqFUg)', 'Well, women are strange. I know what you mean. When I got dumped, I didnt see it coming.', 'BTW, my first real girlfriend (in college) left me for the valedictorian. He is now a doctor. But it worked out, I found someone else (almost a year later) and it is better.', 'Ill chat with you. Dont be too sad, things can (and usually do) get better.', 'Take a deep breath and relax. Life is Tired short, there is no reason to rush to death. If you are really engaged and you kill yourself, you may Tired well destroy the life of the person you are engaged to. That would be the most selfish and awful thing to do. ']",Ideation
user-241,"['No. My family wants me gone. My ex husband is a douchenozzle and would use this against me if he found out. I have no friends. The only people who ever want to hang out with me only do for sex.', 'Its just that my goals are going to take time, and apparently Im out of that particular commodity. Theres no way Ill be able to live in my car with my kids and work and pass school all at the same time. I already know I cant afford next semester, which will set me back, and if I do somehow manage to find a place Im going to have to be focusing on paying for that, and so I wont be able to afford school yet again. If will end up on the back burner and Ill end up spending the rest of my sad lonely life working my ass off in order to not quite make ends meet. ', 'No money, no insurance. Social services here suck.', 'I want to be a doctor. But I cant even afford community college at the moment. My parents want me out of the house but theres literally nothing I can do to make that happen at the moment.', 'Nothing there', 'Theyre too young to know the difference ', 'Is this really the time and place to be bashing OP?', 'As a single mom with two dependents thats really not an option. ', 'reposting this here so you see it:This. I lived this Tired situation for three years. No matter what they say they will do, no matter the promises they make, it will not get better. I was pregnant, and scared. I had no friends, never left our apartment. I had no support system. I understand loving him and wanting to make it work. It wont though. I had no education, and didnt think I could leave. I finally did though, after he sexually assaulted me early one morning, and it was the best thing I have ever done for myself and my kids. Its hard being alone and making it on my own, but it is so much better than being controlled or manipulated like I was.Im going to PM you my story, hopefully it will help you some.', 'This. I lived this Tired situation for three years. No matter what they say they will do, no matter the promises they make, it will not get better. I was pregnant, and scared. I had no friends, never left our apartment. I had no support system. I understand loving him and wanting to make it work. It wont though. I had no education, and didnt think I could leave. I finally did though, after he sexually assaulted me early one morning, and it was the best thing I have ever done for myself and my kids. Its hard being alone and making it on my own, but it is so much better than being controlled or manipulated like I was.', 'thanks', 'Not really. When Im like this I just want to chain smoke and drive too fast in the rain with the windows down.', 'I just Pain all the time. Im so Tired of feeling. Thats all I want, to stop feeling. ', 'Its been a year, and its only getting worse. I need $2000 more dollars than I have just to break even this month. 25000 to pay everything off. All because my ex is a deadbeat and my roommates screwed me over for 10 months. ', 'The problem is, Im completely helpless right now and I hate it. Theres nothing I can do to change it at this point. I am literally at the will of the people around me. I have $2 plus whatever change is in my door compartment to my name. I have no where to live, I cant afford school, but I dont qualify for financial aid. I cant get assistance from the city because I technically live with my parents and because Im under 25, they wont consider me an independent adult (which is ridiculous considering I was moved out and married for three years before I moved back, our finances are completely separate, and Im expected to provide food for myself and the kids). Im stuck in hell and theres no way out thats anywhere near. The Tired earliest ill be able to graduate is December of 2014 and thats if I even get into the program I want. If not, well, I dont even want to think about that at this point. Im drowning right now and theres nothing to grab a hold of, and no one who cares enough to throw me a line. ', 'My family has ""done their time"" so Im no longer their problem. ']",Indicator
user-242,"['Actually I just started medication. Im a pretty rational person (imo) and Im not going to just toss in the towel without trying all of my available options. I have hopes for the pills I am taking (yesterday was actually somewhat okay, I smiled at the thought that I might smile).', 'Get a motorcycle. Im still Depression, but not when I ride mine.', 'Offer to be there for her when she feels she needs to use drugs or cut. Day or night. Explain that youre Worried about her. Worried about her future. Ask her to do the same for you. Be a support system for each other.Of course, this relies on her realizing she has a problem with drugs. Some people refuse to acknowledge they use drugs to hide from their real issues. You can try explaining that to her, but I cant give advice on how. I wasnt able to do it.', 'I know something that helps me is just having something to focus on. Not necessarily cleaning... Just anything that requires me to concentrate. I like to ride a bicycle because it requires enough work to not crash that I cant think about what is bothering me.', 'Wellbutrin has helped my Anxiety a lot and hasnt Pain my libido.', 'I went to the doctor and told him I had Anxiety and depression. He gave me the specific medicine I requested. If your doctor is a dick, find a new one.', 'I dont know if these sort of links are wanted here. I know that personally I like to read about research into Depression and Anxiety.', 'I always called it `negative thought cycle`. Once you pop you just cant stop!', 'Ive already given up on being a somebody. I did that at the start of my 20s. The thing I am Worried about now is being a nobody who still doesnt like anything or have anyone.', 'Hi there. My GF of over a year cheated on me as well.I know you dont want to hear it, but you dont want to be with someone who would do that to you. Its really hard to accept that, but deep down you know it is true. If she felt things were so bad she should have brought it up to you before cheating, not after.Like you, I love my GF Tired much. I cant and dont want to imagine my life without her, but things will never be the same between us. She selfishly betrayed my trust, just like your wife betrayed yours. I know it doesnt help knowing that. It didnt help me... But thats how things are. Shes already ended the relationship in her mind. Taking her back will just leave you Delusional disorder and Pain. She did it once, shell do it again (I forgave my gf... she went behind my back again). It hurts, but you need to start moving on.', 'I cant speak for him, but alcohol reacts Tired poorly with my medicine.', 'Yeah. I felt it was something I should be able to overcome... Something that if I understood the reasons well enough I could defeat them.But it just didnt work that way. I know exactly why I am the way I am. All of my hangups about my appearance... I can pinpoint them to specific comments by specific people. Everything I am aware of I can trace back to the event that started it all. I know that what I do is illogical. I know that the way I feel is unfounded. It didnt help at all. I still felt like total shit. I still felt useless.Dont do what I did. Dont spend almost 2 decades fighting a battle that is going nowhere. If youve been trying for years to overcome your Depression with no success... Give medicine a try. Its at the Tired least making life have more highlights than it used to.', 'Someone here recommended picturing a stop sign. That didnt really work for me, but something that did was just repeating the word ""stop"" (or any word really) non-stop in my head. It makes it so I cant let that little voice inside go crazy with questions (""what if?"", ""why did she?"", ""what did I do?"", ""where am i going?"", etc)', 'Heres a little fun thing you can do if she is friends of your friends on Facebook. Change your security settings to show your stuff to friends of friends. Then just start posting all the awesome shit youre doing without her. Its stupid, but that makes me feel better.It will Pain for a long time. Thats how you know it was love.I definitely feel worse at nights too. I dont know if you guys lived together, but I havent slept in my bed since shit went down. I have to go to sleep on the couch or I get Depression about how big (and empty) the bed is.And no worries mate. They call me Vanilla Ice because if youve got a problem, yo, Ill solve it (Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it). (Can you tell these pills are really helping?)', 'I went without meds for over 15 years. I was doing better than I was when I first got Depression. I got in a loving relationship that lasted over a year. And then she cheated on me, and all of the stuff I was blissfully ignoring for the last year hit me at once: no job, no friends (outside of the woman who cheated on me), no degree, no prospects, no place of my own, no hobbies, etc. This was the worst point in my life (cliche, I know). Its the only time I seriously looked for crisis centers. Its the only time I was genuinely Worried I was going to kill myself despite thinking about it for a decade and a half. Eventually I broke down and gave in on my ""NO MEDS!"" rule.Im finally on them (150mg bupropion) and I can honestly say things seem better (as long as I dont drink alcohol). I still get sad, but I know that it is nowhere near what I would be feeling without the medication. It could be placebo, but I dont think so. I can go out without Crying (usually). Im not obsessing over stuff as much. Im spending less time thinking about what has happened and more about whats going on day-to-day. I want to get out and *do* things more. Im actually entertaining the idea of approaching people in public to talk with them (I havent yet, but Im getting dangerously close). Overall it has been positive for me thus far. Im even starting to use positive adjectives to describe myself and actually believe what I say.As far as side effects...I was experiencing a ton. Most of it seemed to be just diet related; Caffeine or lots of sugar caused me to be Tremor, Dizziness, etc. Even a little alcohol got me really drunk, and actually flushed the meds from my system (so I experienced my Depression and Anxiety full on for the next few days until my body readjusted). I was only sleeping 3 hours a night without being Tired the next day. I wasnt eating despite starting exercise.A lot of food just doesnt taste as good to me now; mostly greasy fast food, so thats a bonus because it is making me eat healthier. I cant drink anymore, but that isnt a big deal for me. I only started because I was trying to Numbness the Pain after she cheated on me (Yeah, 27 years refusing alcohol and drugs and it just takes 3 words to get me to drink). My appetite still isnt that big (compared to usual), but it is better than when I first started the medicine. I am also sleeping normal hours now (well, more than 3). I havent been Tremor or Dizziness since cutting back on sugars. My only regret is not starting them sooner.edit: Something I forgot was that the medicine does seem to start to wear off, or at least loses some potency, around 10pm (I generally take my pill at 10am). Combine this with my Insomnia and I do tend to start getting more Depression at night. Its also entirely possible it is because at night I get really sad about the ex not being there (I still sleep on the couch because the bed reminds me that Im alone). Its still better than I was. ', 'Muscle weighs more than fat', 'Why cant you get married? If a quadriplegic can find someone, you can. Your use of Testosterone makes me think that perhaps you are a hermaphrodite or a male whose gentiles didnt form correctly. I promise you there are people out there who dont care, and hell, maybe even are turned on by it.Why cant you adopt a kid? Fathering a kid biologically might be out of the question... But adoption is a Tired real option.As far as the volunteer programs, start looking for smaller names in the industry. You might be working for just a place to live and food to eat, but its still in the field you want to do. The big names can be finicky because they have a ton of applicants. The smaller names are going to be more lenient.', 'Its been 15 years of being trapped. Im giving it 3 years and 3 months more.', 'I know this is stupid of me to say, but youre being Tired defeatist. Youre letting yourself fail at things you havent even tried.""Turned on"" might have been too far, but my point was that there are going to be people out there who are not dismayed by whatever it is that is wrong with you. Even to the point where they may make you feel better about it yourself.Youll never know if you can qualify if you never let yourself get to the point. And theres always artificial insemination.And dont assume. Do the research and find out. And really... What are you trying to get out of that career choice? Travel? Helping others? There are lots of careers that offer that.', 'I guess my point was that not all meds are bad and that I regret not being on them far sooner. The side effects I am experiencing are relatively nothing compared to the crushing despair I felt every day.Im sure youve heard it before, but different meds do different things to different people. Try, try again.', 'Quick summary of my situation: * GF told me she loved me * We lived together for a year and some change * Had some issues at the start of the new year that we (I thought) worked out * Cheated on me from Feb/March to April. Lied to my face, kissed me after kissing the other guy, etc * Lied to me about so many thingsAnd these next bits really hit home:>today, 6 whole fucking days later shes with someone else. shes with a guy that, two months ago, i fuckign KNEW she had something for and she said she didnt.I fought my jealousy and convinced myself it was a harmless friendship. It wasnt. I was replaced immediately when the relationship ended. Hell, I was replaced before that.>the worst part is she doesnt even feel bad. or sad. she doesnt miss me. she doesnt give a fuck. shes indifferent.I know exactly what you mean. This feels so horrible. Someone who you thought loved you no matter what doesnt seem to care at all. You share so much together and they completely disregard your feelings, show you no respect, cant even muster a hug. When I was really down I called my ex to come watch me when I was Worried about killing myself. She dismissed me because she didnt want to ruin her high. That Pain. I was worth less to her than some pot (or whatever drug she was on at the time).For the first month I was absolutely destroyed. I couldnt function. I cried daily. If I got out of the house I cried in the car. I researched painless suicide methods. I researched crisis centers. I started drinking (I never drink, cant stand the taste) just to try and do something to dull the Pain. I kind of had a mini-breakdown and got rid of a lot of my stuff. I became best friends with sleeping pills just so I wouldnt have to be awake to feel the Pain. Eventually I caved and went to a doctor to get medicine (Ive always, and still do, view it as a crutch). As far as where I am now?Before I started on the medicine, I took a couple of weeks out of town just to get away from this area (small town, hard to avoid going near where the guy lives and they work). I stayed with a good friend of mine. Just being away from things that reminded me about our relationship did wonders.When I got back into town I started my medicine. I also started working out (Insanity). Things are going better. I still feel down, but I can at least go to the store without breaking into tears. I can think about her cheating on me without instantly falling to the floor. When I do start crying, I make it productive. I practice guitar or work on something Ive been putting off. Im slowly getting somewhere. Im changing what I dont like about myself one thing at a time. Im realizing that I am a better person than she deserved to begin with. I still Pain deeply inside, but I can handle it better.My biggest suggestion, and this is something I have been failing to do myself, is to STOP TALKING TO HER. You are only hurting yourself. You need to distance yourself from her right now. By far the thing that is fucking me over the most right now, other than being so lonely, is talking to her and briefly forgetting what she did to me. It just hurts when you snap back into reality.So cut it off. No IMs, no e-mails, no phone calls, no texts, avoid her in person. Dont talk with her. It might take six months or six years, but you need to get to the point where the relationship is just a distant memory and you arent Emotional upset about it. Talking to her now is just going to make you refresh the relationship in your mind (I *still* think of my ex as my girlfriend coming on 2 months later. Whenever I know she is with that guy it feels like she is cheating on me all over again). Just stop talking with her. Its for the best.So, I guess a Sharp Pain list of what I did and suggest:* Seek medication* Try and block out your inner monologue by repeating a word over and over again (I use ""stop""), so it cant overtake you with negative thoughts* Try and get away for a while* Try and work out (if your condition allows for this)* Turn Feeling unhappy into something productive (cleaning, practice guitar, etc...) No matter how hard you are sobbing, just keep doing it. Its kind of ridiculous when Im practicing guitar with tears coming down my cheeks, but at least I am working on a skill. It isnt wasted time.* When you get to the point where you can be in public without crying, get out more... Even if you hate where you are going. Find some random shop and go in, look around. It might only take 10 minutes, but thats 10 minutes of time away from your home. You will feel better.* Try new things you normally wouldnt. Force yourself.* Try and change those things about you that you dont like. If you dont like your job, look for a new one. If you dont like your hair, get a different style.* **Cut off contact! Important!**I wont sit here and tell you not to think about her. You wont be able to stop yourself. I wont tell you that itll be over Sharp Pain. I still think about my ex daily. I still run the ""What if?"", ""Why?"", and so on questions through my head. I still want to be with her. You will too. Im not going to tell you it wont stop hurting. It will. It will be some of the deepest Pain youve felt. Its understandable when you care about someone that deeply. Things get better, but it takes time and effort.Just remember that, in the end, someone who would do that to you is probably not the best person to be with. Its hard to accept, but you know it is true. You want someone who respects you enough to tell you the truth when it matters.Also, I cant Stress enough how important it is to cut off all contact. I dont have friends in the city I live in, so she is my only outlet for socialization. It makes it really hard for me. It sounds like you might be in a better situation (I am assuming your friends are local). Hopefully you are stronger than me. ', 'Off the main topic, but...I dont know if it is any consolation to you, but Ive recently been on the other side of this situation. One of the things that bothers me the most is how little she cared that she Pain me. I would do nearly anything to know she felt some sort of remorse about what she did beyond the ""Now I dont have a free place to live"" aspect.', 'Ive been there too. Best friend. I told her everything. One day I got the ""Youre really a downer"" line and a comment about how I whine a lot.Now I hold back so much because I dont want to bother anyone like that.', 'This is basically my suicide plan. After I have finally thrown in the towel I am going to liquidate everything I own and just do everything until I run out of money. If I still feel like it then game over.', 'I did 15 years without medicine, staunchly refusing based on principle (It will make me stronger to fix myself!). Thats 15 years I wish I would have just broke down and started the meds. 15 years of constantly worrying in public, stressing about stupid shit...Oh god how different high school, hell, my whole life would be if I just started medicine sooner. All fixed by a stupid little pill I take every day that doesnt even cost that much.Hell, that pill is making it so I dont even feel that upset about not starting medicine sooner. Normally I obsess about regrets and missed opportunities... Not lately. Dont get me wrong, it still bums me out... But I dont spend hours in a corner sobbing because of something I did/didnt do six years ago and imagining all the different paths my life could have taken.I think my biggest concern about starting medicine was that I would ""lose"" myself. A big part of who I was/am is Depression and just the morose and macabre in general. I was afraid that I would be something totally different than I was, and there were certain things I liked about myself. From what I can tell it was completely unfounded. Im still me. Im just me with the ability to be happy and functional. I smiled for the first time in over a decade. A genuine smile. What did it? The fucking thought that I might smile for the first time in over a decade! I had someone over at my house and they said my face looked weird; It was because I was smiling due to them being there.I know exactly what you mean about alternatives.Meditation? I would sit there and lead myself down a path of misery. Would have, could have, should have... I would make myself extremely upset over stuff that **never even happened**. Exercise? I barely had the willpower to get out of bed to piss (seriously, I would debate it for an hour...weighing the pros and cons). You want me to exercise? Yeah, right.Anyway, my only regret about medicine is not doing it sooner. It just took a big life event to get me to the point where I gave up one of my defining principles. It was either give in to medicine or die.', 'Just to add to what casper said.All being in a relationship did for me was help me to put all my bad feelings to the back of my mind. I was still Depression, it was just a better version. Sounds good... Until the relationship ends. Then everything hits you at once.Its literally the worst Ive ever felt in over a decade of having Depression.', 'For me bed = storage area and couch = bed.']",Ideation
user-243,"['Dont kill yourself OP. Right now you have something to live for. Even if you dont win your daughter, that doesnt mean that you cant ever visit her. You should ask the judge that if you lose, that you at least can keep track of her. And that youll be the 2nd parent if where she lives right now turns out too bad. And if you cant ever visit her, you can tell her when she turns 18 what a bitch her mom was. Your Feeling angry and Pain would probably have calmed down by then, but it gives you a goal.']",Supportive
user-244,"['it may have been a cheesy joke or something that just flopped..Like what if he meant to imply something like that youll be a new man by the time you leave the class, leaving the old behind or shedding the old you as if to put it to death. Or that the class is highly difficult and stressful as to bring one to their wits end. Artists can have a flair for such dramatic prose. Just a wild guess. I do think its unlikely that hed actually mean what he said literally, but even if he did, think of what kind of person it would take to actually say that in such a situation. Is that the kind of person whose opinion youd weigh your life on? The answer either way is to keep it up, and dont forget to enjoy it!']",Supportive
user-245,"['Ive used it on and off for 2 years now its been brilliant I cant recommend it enough. I had a few side affects at first like Diarrhoea and a bit of a spaced out feeling but that lasted about 2 weeks at most and then it was all good after that. The only thing I have noticed is a loss of libido but Ill take that any day over crippling Depression!', 'Absolutely life is full of ups and downs and the downs are certainly necessary to help you appreciate the ups. But bad things are part of life and you cant always control them but you can control how you react to them. My Depression and the help Ive received has been the best thing thats ever happened to me in a way because I feel so much stronger now because of it. I know there will be bad times in my life to come but Im no longer afraid of them because Ive learnt how to deal with things.', 'Is there any particular reason you feel like ending your life?', 'I have to disagree with kdol that it will never get easy. I have had Anxiety,  obsessive thoughts, thoughts of suicide for as long as I can remember but as my life wasnt that bad as a kid it was Tired transient and I didnt know any better so just thought it was normal. Im 26 now and things all came to a head about a couple of years ago and I had a full on breakdown. I was basically an absolute zombie for months and I just wanted to die. It was the most horrendous thing ever but it was also brilliant because it made me realise I had a problem and got help and Im now able to control my thoughts and life is pretty good now. It certainly wasnt easy at first but the more you keep on top of things the easier it gets. I take medication, citalopram specifically which is Tired good and would definitely recommend trying if you havent already. I would recommend talking to people, try to find a hobby or activity that you like doing that can distract you from your thoughts. Read up about mindfulness meditation and neuroplasticity as well and practice that. You can literally rewire and change your brain to be happier and deal with obsessive thoughts. See this link about the changes that happen to your brain after only 8 weeks. http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/2014/06/12/what-does-mindfulness-meditation-do-to-your-brain/I hope this helps and remember Depression, Anxiety and obsessive thoughts dont have to be Injury of muscle you can and will get better, believe me Ive done it.', 'Hi sorry to hear you feel this way, suicide though is a Injury of muscle solution to a temporary problem and I am definitely not an advocate of it. Depression is a Tired treatable condition, I know because Ive been treated. I was basically a zombie with all emotion and feeling gone I just wanted to die but I reached out and got help and now life is good again. You say you havent got the courage to reach out for real help but what are you afraid of? No one is going to judge you and I guarantee anyone you speak to will understand and want to help. I hid my condition for a long time because I was afraid how others would react but when I finally did confide in people everyone completely understood and wanted to help in whatever way they could. It was like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I felt stupid for not telling them sooner. So my advice would be tell your close family and friends how you feel, go see your doctor and get the help you need.', 'I was Worried about taking meds and suffered for about 6 months before I finally gave them a go. It was the best thing I ever did they helped so much. Theres nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about for taking antidepressants. If youve got Diabetes mellitus you take insulin, if youve got Depression and youve been prescribed medication that you know helps then take it, its no different to any other illness.', 'You should definitely stay. If you are unhappy with any aspects of your life try to think of ways you could improve it that would make you happier and follow through with them. If you are feeling Depression but dont know why then i would recommend, therapy, meditation and medication. Which country are you in? You mentioned you dont have insurance or money for treatment but there must be charities in your country that will help you. Ive had therapy, meditate and take citalopram and I can tell you it works Tired well so I would certainly recommend trying to get the help you need by any means possible.', 'Which meds have you tried? There are many different ones and its worth experimenting with them as some work better than others for different people. Have you tried mindfulness meditation before? Id highly recommend it, the brain is a fantastic organ and you can literally rewire it and change its structure and the way it works through meditation to improve your mood.', 'Have you tried going to a local support group if you feel like your friends and family dont understand. There are Depression support groups all over the place where people will understand you and you can help each other and trade coping strategies. It would get you out and taking to people which is always good and you might even make some new friends.', 'It might be worth experimenting with other meds if you feel the one youre on isnt right for you. There are lots of different ones that all work differently for different people so it can take a few goes to find which one is right for you sometimes. Depression makes you lose motivation and energy to do anything but you need to fight it and do things that are going to benefit you like a hobby or past time you find enjoyable and meditating. You say you used to meditate which is great so why not pick up where you left off. I find reading to be quite therapeutic as well and it has been specifically proven to reduce Stress. You dont need to apologise for feeling this way though its not your fault, Depression is an Illness just like measles or the Influenza and you wouldnt apologise for getting those! But most importantly it can be cured so try to stay positive and dont worry you will get better one day you just to find out what works for you.', 'I agree with everything here. Just try to be Tired patient and not take anything too personally. If she lashes out at you or anything like that just remember its the Depression not her. When I had Depression I tried to break up with my long term girlfriend many times because the Depression left me so empty I couldnt feel anything anymore. She stuck by me and supported me though until I got better. Thats what you need to do just be there for her no matter what.', 'I agree, my advice would be to talk about how you feel with your friends and family and let them help you. I hid my Depression for a long time and then when I finally told people everyone was so understanding and supportive. Everyone has felt upset, sad, lonely, Depression etc in their life so they will be able to relate to how you are feeling on some level and I guarantee they will just want to help you. Remember Depression is an Illness just like measles or the Influenza and its nothing to be embarrassed about. So talk to people about it and go see your doctor and get the treatment you need.', 'Why dont you think you can tell anyone how you feel? I had a Tired serious bout of Depression a couple of years ago and I didnt think I could tell anyone because I didnt think anyone would understand and would think I was just weak. So I bottled it up for ages and just cried on my own all the time and got nowhere. I finally told one person and they understood exactly how I felt and were then there for me to talk to when I needed them. So I told another person and got the same result they wanted to help and completely understood what I was going through. So in end I told everyone and not a single person reacted badly. Guess what, everyone has felt lonely, upset, Depression etc at some point in their life and will totally be able to sympathise and help you. So my advice would be talk to your close friends and family, tell them how you feel and let them help you. ', 'Definitely worth a go I discovered it by accident after watching a documentary about it you should give it a watch heres a link http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1z3a38_e17-the-truth-about-personality_tvBut yeah Ive definitely found it to be beneficial for me. Personally Ive found that a combination of treatments works best, nothing seems to work amazingly well on its own but if you combine them all then it does wonders. So I did CBT, self help, meds and medication and it sorted me out. These days I still take my meds and try to do half an hour of meditation a day and that seems to do trick. But yeah going back to the brain its a fascinating thing and if you read up on neuroplasticity you will learn all about how your brain isnt a fixed organ it constantly physically changes in response to various things. Things like Stress and Anxiety can rewire the brain in a bad way that perpetuates the problem so you need to gain control again and rewire it back to being a happy brain. ', 'Hi I sympathise with your situation and although Ive never really lost anyone dear to me I have dealt with some serious bouts of Depression and know first hand what it feels like to feel completely Exhaustion with life. One piece of advice I would offer is to try and keep your mind in the present and just take things as they come. Sometimes in life you just have to live day by day or hour by hour. When your down and feeling hopeless its Tired hard to see a way out and youve said you believe if you try and let time heal you it wont work and you will end up making some bad decisions. But this is just a negative projection from your Depression mind its not necessarily true. Even though its hard to imagine now, time is a great healer and things will get better over time. So although I know its easier said than done I would try to forget about the future and just live one day to the next. ', 'Yeah sack that bint off', 'Hi I have suffered with Depression in the past and completely sympathise it is a horrible thing that I wouldnt wish on my worst enemy but Ive managed to do quite well to get on top of it. You say give been battling it for about 6 years Im just curious what treatment you have tried? Have you given mindfulness meditation a go at all? If not Id recommend researching mindfulness and neuroplasticity. You can literally rewire and change the structure of your brain through meditation in as little as 8 weeks to improve your mood. Id recommend giving it a go. I take citalopram as well which Ive found to be Tired good. ']",Ideation
user-246,"['Hey there,Where do you live, man? Id love to meet someone new. :) Relationships always evolve. You meet new people, you form bonds and connections. Sometimes they last a long time, and others move on. Its a normal process that every relationship has, and I am sure that many people have experienced this. I know I have! Although your high school relationships may have ended, this is a new start to meeting more people in your life. Whether it be through work, school, career, volunteering, going to clubs, bars, pursuing your favourite hobby... there will be new connections with people. ', 'Well mate, I can say this: if you have a bad trip with LSD it can stick in your mind for a Tired long time. I have a friend who did LSD when he was younger (about 7 years ago), and he had a really bad trip from being in an unfamiliar environment. To this day he still sees Hallucinations every where he goes; they usually take the shape of faces in walls, ceilings, furniture, bark on a tree, and other things. Maybe part of your Hallucinations can be attributed to LSD, if not the cause.I used to suffer from minor Hallucinations when I was on quetiapine (Seroquel), as well as unpleasant and surreal dreams. Even though it was labelled as an anti psychotic, I think my brain just really went into deep sleep mode and made every dream hyper realistic. If you are on medication (and for that matter, more than one), maybe talk to your doctor about the possibility that one or the other may be a probable cause to your Hallucinations.tl;dr: could be the LSD, could be medications.', 'Its not your fault. You are not a failure or a loser. I am sorry that you cannot go on unemployment insurance; could you make an appeal because of your mental health? I am unfamiliar with, what I guess is, the American system. I really wish there was more awareness when it comes to mental health in the workplace.I am a big advocate for awareness programs to be put in place no matter the job or profession. ', 'I am going to give my two cents.I didnt know I was pregnant until I was 32 weeks along. I didnt start really showing until I was ready to give birth. I have irregular periods, and I was going through a really rough time and did not care about myself or my health and safety. I got pregnant, even after not having a period for over a year. Fast forward a good month or two, and still didnt know. Was prescribed three different medications in the span of two months (1 was temporary; ativan sublingual). The side effects of said medications can be observed in pregnant women as well: weight gain/loss, muscle twitchiness (sertraline; Zoloft), Tiredness symptom (quetiapine; Seroquel), Nausea (sertraline; Zoloft), sleeplessness, and more. Months go by; I lose a tonne of weight from Anxiety attacks and probably morning sickness. More days, weeks, and months: significant other decides to get pregnancy test because muscle twitchiness felt like a baby kicking. Tested positive at home, confirmed at doctors office. Doctor thought I was only 6 weeks along. Chose Miscarriage because we were not ready. Doctor booked ultrasound to figure how far along I was (different methods of aborting a fetus depends on how far along you are). Turns out I was 32 weeks. I cried. I cried for days. ""Looks like were going to be parents.."" Book an appointment with an adoption specialist; really nice lady. Had to do everything in less than 2 months for a process that usually takes about 5-6 months. Wrote out family history, health, what we wanted for our child when we adopted out. Day of the birth: everything was okay. We were set in stone that, yes, we wanted the Tired best for our child and we wanted to adopt out. The type that we chose was open adoption, and we have heard great things about it. However, we were Tired Worried about not being able to spend time with her a lot as she grew up without us being her parents. It was Tired frightening knowing that someone else would raise her, discipline her, and that she would be raised with a family whose ideals and ethics may not match ours 100 percent. We were nervous, scared, sick, grieving. We looked after baby overnight. Both of us bonded as soon as she was born and she was in our arms. What a magical moment, if not short in the back of our minds as we thought about the clock ticking down until we didnt have her anymore. Hours go by. Had some visits by my father and my boyfriends mother. His dad didnt wanna come because he didnt want to bond with baby and then have her leave. I am sad that he missed her birth. The hours keep going by, and finally, the social worker and the foster mom came (time was so short, we didnt have an adoptive family yet) to fetch baby. Now, I dont know how I can describe this in words, but I will try. I fucking cried. I cried harder than I ever had in my life. It was like being ripped apart, then having your soul sucked right out of you. Then you plunge into despair, hopelessness, and utter darkness. I remember watching her being taken away from my arms, and I vividly remember wanting to scream and run after her. But I knew deep down that it wasnt to be. We left the hospital about an hour later. The nurses, who knew that I was adopting out, were Tired comforting and understanding. While we were driving home, many things reminded me of my daughter; there were childrens stores at a coffee junction that my boyfriend wanted to take me to to cheer me up, there were families everywhere (this was summer time), and I remember seeing lots of little ones playing in the park as we drove by our neighbourhood. I felt so awful, so guilty, and Tired depressed. I do not wish that feeling on anyone. We eventually did decide to keep our daughter in the end, but not after a month of her life went by that we missed out on. I understand both the Miscarriage aspect, and the adoption aspect. I almost experienced one, and did experience the other. Thinking back, if I did not know my daughter and didnt see her, hold her, or hear her, I think I would honestly be okay with having an Miscarriage. Its because I did not know her and had formed Tired little attachment. However, when she was born and I could physically see her, hold her, and hear her.. that was a biiiig game changer. I felt every sense of positive emotion, that was soon shattered at the prospect of adopting her out. If I could choose, Miscarriage would have been the best thing for me.tl;dr: Abortion doesnt give lasting negative effects, if that is 100 percent what the woman wants. Adoption does have lasting negative effects, unless that is 100 percent what the woman wants. ', 'Have you explored the reasons why you feel this way when you get attention from men or happiness? ', 'Hello,Have you explored the possibility of bipolar with anyone? I implore you to seek help and advise from your family doctor, local councilor, psychiatrist, psychologist. I know that what strangers on the internet say may not help you out, but I think talking to someone who is qualified will be of use to you. If not just to listen to you. :) ', 'Definitely bring that up with your psychologist at your next appointment. :) No one is crystal perfect, friend. Everyone needs support at some point in their lives in many different forms. Yours just happened to be small things to help you out physically. Thats okay; there is nothing wrong with needing some assistance. I felt ashamed for a Tired long time that I was depressed, had Anxiety issues over certain things, and the fact that I was not Tired good at many of the things my peers did while I attended school. I was jealous a lot, and that Pain many of my relationships. My pride impacted me so negatively that I became a recluse for many years (and even missed a best friend of mines going away party; I regret that to this day and that was 7 years ago) before I looked back and reflected, and eventually sought treatment. Despite our perceived faults and struggles, we pull through. We acknowledge that we need help sometimes, and we acknowledge that it is okay, healthy, and normal. Youre not a strange person for needing all of that. :)', 'I implore you to call a suicide hotline, friend. I do agree with you: the world is a hurtful place at times. There will always be people who are absurdly negative. There are people who will insult, put people down, demean, offend, betray, lie. But there will always be really, truly, fantastic and astoundingly great people who love, care, uplift, are indiscriminate, understanding, truthful. There are good people. ', 'Will you be charged for the appointment if you decide to cancel with your psychologist? Is a 24+ hour notice efficient?Although your mother went behind your back and decided, along with your psychologist who agreed, to cancel your exams, I am sure that you could call up your school and reinstate your exams on their original and intended dates. To me, deciding things for your therapy without your consent, being present at the time that it was discussed, and going ahead with it all is not at all ethical to me. Talk to your psychologist, explain that you feel you can take the exams, and reschedule for another date. Be assertive, and tell your mother how you feel about this. ', 'I hope that all goes well for both of you.Have courage, dont be afraid to be assertive, and speak what you think and feel. :)', 'If at possible, see a psychiatrist. Your general doctor has an idea about mental health, but it is not their specialty. Psychiatrists are also doctors, so they will know which one will be right for you. Dont be alarmed if they recommend, along with an antidepressant, something that will relax you if you need it, help you sleep, help with Anxiety, et cetera. I am on sertraline (Zoloft), and it is a SSRI. It can go as low as 25mg, all the way to 200mg (or more, if your doctor does see fit. Most likely theyd prescribe a sister drug to accompany it though). Very commonly prescribed, and if you do go on it, has Tired little side effects if any. Word to the wise: always take with food. :)Sorry for the rant, lol. I am a psychology major.', 'You deserve to be happy. You deserve to love and be loved. I highly suggest seeing someone with a strong background in mental health. Although advice may be given on public forums, the best and most accurate and genuine comes from a person talking to you face to face. :) Where do you live? ', 'Do not feel like you need to do this alone.:) There are a lot of professionals who can help you out. I do not recommend seeing a psychiatrist if you are not taking medication(s) for mental health, and instead see a psychologist who are typically more psychotherapy orientated. I feel ya when you were talking about anxieties. They do sick! Dont think that you are alone when it comes down to being afraid when speaking publicly in front of an audience; many people have that fear, and I think it comes down to being afraid of letting the audience down or making mistakes. You are not alone in feeling this way. :) Even if you make a mistake, it is not the end all be all of your presentation or your grades. If you do not have the support of your mom, try speaking to other members of your family. I am sure your relatives will listen. *edit: words', 'High five. :) I did that about a month ago. Keep living day by day, and live for you! ', 'And you have every right to be happy. :) Do you have hobbies that you enjoy? I am an amateur aquarist. I do not think you are a disappointment. Surely there are many things in life that you succeed at!There are many things in life my friend that are outside of our control. However, that is not to say everything is hopeless. Being more assertive, and not passive, with what you would like in life is a great step to achieving your own happiness. You can tell your parents what you want from them: someone to talk to, someone to listen, someone to guide, someone to give.You can tell your peers what you want from them: to be there physically for you but not necessarily for socialization (just for company), to lend a hand, to listen to you, guide you, talk to you.You can tell your ex girlfriend what you want from her: to leave you alone, to not be abusive, to get out of your life.', 'I will say this: you are not a horrible person for hating your child. You are not a horrible person for thinking these awful thoughts. I have felt some of the same things you do, OP. And have thought about a lot of Tired negative topics about myself and my child. Ive felt ostracized from many people, fearing they would look down upon me as not only a horrible person, but as a dangerous person as well. Like yourself, I also work in an academic field (psychology) and I worry about many of the same things you have mentioned, namely that women are generally viewed as the main supporter of their children. Its okay feeling concerned about not being able to teach your son lessons in life. I think every parent feels this way. I worry that because I am only 23 that I do not have the life experiences to guide my daughter through life. But I think that is a normal and understandable worry. Are you close to a larger city centre where you can take your child with you? Many people that I have worked with would never disallow people to accompany you. Have you considered that this might also be post postpartum depression?  There are people who will help you through this. :)', 'Few key things:- She has to want to go to therapy, and she has to want to follow through with therapy and get healthier. Just going is not enough. You need the willpower to do it. - Show her that you want to understand what she is feeling and thinking. Make an effort to understand her negative thoughts and impulses. - Run it by her CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy)- its a therapy that challenges negative thoughts and anxieties and puts the ""I cant"" to test; sit down as a couple in therapy as her support, her husband, and a friend. - Discuss if prescription drug therapy has ever crossed her mind, if she has thought about it, considered it. Again with this one, she has to want to do therapy and follow through with it. Understand that medication, if she warrants it, does not make a person weaker. Medication and psychotherapy combined do better than one or the other done alone. - Tell her how you feel, what youre thinking, and what how her actions are negatively impacting you and your life. Not only do you need to understand her, she needs to understand you. - Talk to her about how her toxic habits (smoking and drinking most of the time, secluding herself from her friends and family) are affecting not just you, but her friends and family as well. It might even help if her parents talk to your wife separately and on a different occasion about their concerns that they have of their daughter.Some of these are from my experiences when I was in a deep, dark place, while others were given to me via my boyfriend who was my support, friend, listener, and loved one. You are correct that forcing her to do things will not achieve anything, however, it is not just her feelings that are being poisoned: yours are too.  ', 'Im glad that you sought help with your family doctor. If you are not on medication, have you considered it? If you are not currently undertaking psychotherapy, have you thought about it? Talk to your doctor about exploring these possibilities. Psychiatrists and psychologists are excellent people, and they are sworn to confidentiality. It sounds like you are willing and wanting to receive help, you just need a push in the right direction. If there is someone that you can trust (extended family, friend, SO, teacher, et cetera) who can push you out the front door so to speak to get the help you need, ask them. Getting into a perpetual negative loop could also be affecting how you are feeling and thinking. I know that when I was severely depressed, I didnt really care about myself and I let many things slide and become stagnant. My grades and relationships suffered a lot. Since I was stuck in a negative zone, and it kept getting worse, I just thought ""what can I do now? Guess I will just let it be..."". You know where that goes. Not good. ', 'Hello. :) I live in a small city called Saskatoon in Saskatchewan, Canada. Its fantastic that you do things! I can be an overtly shy person; do you feel the same way too? I find that going to hobby clubs was a great social entry point for me. I love fish, aquariums, and marine life, so I am Tired comfortable talking to people who share the same enthusiasm. Talking about fish, tank set ups, gear, and the hobby in general has allowed me to open up a little bit more each time I go about something other than the hobby. Do you have something similar that you can use as a social outlet?', 'Yes, I understand what you are saying. There probably are lots of people in the world who regret different things, like Miscarriage and adoption. However, I think that a person truly needs to know what they want in the end (for themselves, or babe(s)) or they will continue to regret and let it have a negative impact on them for the rest of their lives. I am not really wanting to debate on ethics; moreso I wanted to discuss that if there is any grain of doubt in a persons mind about their decisions, it will never truly be a positive thing for them in the long run. Whether it be Miscarriage, adoption, or keeping the child, I think all angles must be looked at and all parties need to have 100 percent confidence that the choice they make is what they really want.', 'Hey dude, I know the feels about medication and medication adjustments. :) Like you I had mine tweaked over the course of 4 months from a baby step dose of 25mg sertraline to 200mg present day. I can tell you that the road to a successful medication routine does not fall in place super quick. I recognize that you are still a growing teen, and the possibility that you are not on a higher dose could be because of the age reason. However, have you spoken to or seen a psychiatrist? Generally they have more knowledge about psychotherapeutic medications than your general practitioner. Maybe that is a good first step to a stable dose. That being said, perhaps doing some psychotherapy would be a good companion to medication. :) I am a psychologist, with melancholic depressive disorder, and I find it Tired helpful to do psychotherapy and medication. I thought I could just CBT my way out of my depression, but unfortunately and ironically that was not the case. I understand that you are looking at life in a bleak state. But I impress that there is a lot to experience in the world! There are new relationships to make, new places to visit, and new and fascinating hobbies and careers to pursue! You can make it through this.', 'Yeah, I know the feels. :( Doesnt Pain to try, and see if you like it. You could always leave if its not your cup of tea. If I do something new, I go and check it out for a few minutes and see if its something I want. Sometimes I feel compelled to stay the entire time because thoughts in my head justify that I will be judged, looked down on, not feel accomplished because I left early, etc. But good news! You dont have to stay the entire time. :)Everyone deserves to feel good! You are no exception! ', 'You can survive this. You do deserve happiness, to love, care, be loved, and be cared for. Is it a possibility that you can go over to your girlfriends house tonight and spend the night with her? Someone who can empathize and be a focal point for you to talk to. Have you considered a new therapist? Your current one does not seem to care as you have said above. I think a fresh face would be a positive thing to consider.*hugs* ', 'Hmm. If you can afford it, or have the support of people who can help you out and/or pay for it, private practicing psychiatrists are usually the option that a lot of people in my area go. Like you said, there is a huge waiting list (I had to wait 4 months, and said ""nope"". Went private) and I am not sure if this is true with your health care or not, but a lot of psychiatrists/psychologists have so many patients (and not enough professionals), that you usually just get brief therapy, referrals, and they dont often follow through all the way with treatment. I live in Canada, by the way. You can talk to your general practitioner about possibly referring you for quicker treatment. Psychiatrists, doctors, psychologists, and other health professionals are sworn for confidentiality unless there is a reason where you may pose a risk to someone else (child abuse, murder, et cetera) or you have been a victim of a serious crime. Usually before psychs prescribe medication, they make sure that you actually need it, whether it will be beneficial, or whether the benefits outweigh the negatives (for example if you have health issues that are effected by antidepressants; pregnancy comes to mind). I dont think they will label you as a drug seeker. Many drugs that are long term prescribed are not addictive, and if they did sell a drug that could be abused it would be in small amounts, in a Tired small prescription (Ativan sublingual at 5mg, 10 capsules in each prescription bottle) to prevent abuse either by user or for monetary gain. Psycho therapeutic medications have no effects on most Pain killers. An exception is tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs) with can suppress some local anesthesia (for dental work or other minor surgery).']",Ideation
user-247,"['Please dont harm yourself. Maybe the reason you need to tell someone is because theres a connection missing. Can you just tell your boyfriend you need to watch tv with him tonight? Being in his company doesnt mean you have to unload on him. Is it enough just to be with him for tonight, and face tomorrow when it comes?Please, dont harm yourself. There are people who care about you.', 'University, believe it or not, is the worst time to make conclusions about what the rest of your life should be. And you have a whole life ahead of you to sort out romantic relationships. Depression stalks university campuses like a demon, but its your brain lying to you. Please dont believe those lies. Please talk to someone. I cannot promise you that tomorrow will be better, that would be foolish - but you will not feel like this forever.', 'Well, you know youre going to have rough patches and terrible, overwhelming emotions. I mean, you know yourself, you know youre having a hard time right now. So can you plan some sort of response when you recognize those emotions coming? When I was struggling, Id walk to a 24h cafe around the corner, get a cup of decaf and a sweet roll, and do a crossword. It didnt solve anything major, but it got me the distance from desperate and despairing to bummed and coping, and more importantly, I *knew that it would get me the distance*. Having a plan made a huge difference.', 'I think that you have to be a lot more out there than you sound to be involuntarily committed. If you speak plainly about that Fear to your counselor, and openly about what youre feeling and the way you *want* to feel, youll be on the right track, and they wont commit you. Let me put it another way. The people who voluntarily go to counseling dont end up involuntarily committed. Thats saved for the people who dont go to counseling, who dont leave their rooms, or who dont obey the authorities, etc...', 'Well, the other people are wrong and your counselor is an idiot. Your counselor is meant to throw you a lifeline, not stand on the shore and shout swimming lessons.If you had diabetes, would they say You should not need so much insulin?You feel the way you do. It doesnt have to define you, but you dont have to deny it, either.Its not your fault. Its. Not. Your. Fault.', 'Please dont end your life. Prove to your family that theyre wrong.', 'You are making good sense, realizing what youre afraid of and thinking through to a solution you can tolerate. For completely different reasons I myself spent 8 hours in an emergency room yesterday. I get that its shit.It sounds like you know what you have to do - go to a hospital.You can tell them why youre there. You can tell them about the Ativan, you can tell them what makes you Anxiety about being there and they will understand and work with that. Tell them you want to co-operate with them and take their advice. It actually makes their job a lot easier when you do. I just think that if you go to a hospital now, you will be doing something to help yourself, which in and of itself will make you feel better. If you just sit around and wait for Monday, you wont be helping yourself, youll just be prolonging your suffering. I know that being in an ER is awful, but you have to remind yourself over and over again why youre there, and that the bullshit going on around you on the other stretchers is Not. Your. Problem.And bring headphones and relaxing music if you can. And a couple of sandwiches. :)', 'Never is a lie your Illness tells you in your Asthenia moments. But its still a lie. You will not feel like this forever, you will not be broken forever. You are going to counseling, you are writing, you are trying. It will work - it may not work as fast as you hope, but it will work.And someone will see the strength it takes to keep trying, and they will fall in love with that strength. Youll be loved for all the things about you that are mended and whole.You deserve to feel better than this. Im sorry youre feeling this way right now. But you are so much more, so much better than the way you feel in this moment.', 'You could go for a walk after breakfast tomorrow. Do one small thing that didnt seem lazy. ', 'Heh. I get stabbing pains. Times like that I remember Bruce Willis in Sin City and try to feel badass. ', 'Im sorry to hear that youre hurting. Im chronically ill too - Ive been off work since June. Please dont harm yourself. Tell us whats going on.', 'The creepshotting sounds like its not really doing you any favours - making you feel worse about yourself, because youre doing something that you know deep down is wrong. Objectively, photographing these women without their consent is wrong. Try leaving your phone at home for the day. I mean, in a real emergency, someone else will have a phone.  Most importantly, this is highschool. It doesnt define your life, and it will not always be like this.', 'Is there a music store close to where you live? They usually have sign-up boards for people looking to form bands, and perhaps someone can help fix your guitar... You could even make an ad for yourself, that youre looking to join. List influences, and some ridiculous stuff that you can be counted on to do/not do when you make it big, e.g. You can be counted on to wreck a hotel room only after the second album goes platinum, etc.', 'Hey there. First of all, 18K and college-age Depression, while a real problem, is not worth ending your life over. I promise, this hole is not so deep you cant dig yourself out of it.Im a project manager for a Tired large software company. I know a lot of CS grads (or people who tried to become CS grads and got lost along the way.) Believe it or not, theres a type of intelligent Loss of motivation which is a huge asset to the industry, as it reduces waste. I know that doesnt help you now, but it will help you when you get to your career.Perhaps you need to take a year off and work at McDonalds or something to give yourself the wakeup call that you need to push yourself to your degree.You have all kinds of options. If the counselor didnt work out, request a different counselor. Do that in the morning. For now, read a book, eat something, and get some sleep. This is not the nightmare it might look like right now.', 'You need sleep. These are issues for daylight. ', 'Who is therapy for, if not for the people who want to end their lives?Your mom may seem like shes never happy with you, but shes happier with you alive than dead. And you cant just erase yourself from peoples lives. If you kill yourself, you leave a gaping wound in the lives of all the people who cant be there for you anymore.', 'Okay, lots here and Im not sure my answer will be complete, but it sounds like your GF has been helping you stay grounded even if your relationship is far from perfect. My suggestion is that for a while, a week, maybe a month, just put any and all relationship expectations aside, and just *look after each other*. When she comes over, smile at her, ask if you can make her some scrambled eggs and give her a hug. Perhaps later she can throw a frozen pizza in the oven for you. You dont have to be an adonis. You dont need to be solving every single problem in each others lives. Just watch some tv and give the other person a soft spot to land. Start there.The problems and issues you are facing are bigger than a partner can help you get through. She can offer support, but shes not the solution. Youre not her solution, either. But in some ways, and this is only my opinion, mind - you could consider not trying to solve the rest of your life, but rather, just solve tomorrow. Manage that.Please dont harm yourself.', 'please dont. Youve already been through so much... Yes, the fight is fucking hard, no lie. But if you keep fighting, you will rise above this bullshit and see daylight again. Depression ends. Kick back at it and dont give up, theres more to you than that.', 'Slow down. Write out whats wrong, slowly and carefully, and show your parents.', 'What happened?', 'Whoa. Please keep in mind that when your mom threatens to kill herself, she is *trying to exert control over you by threatening to kill someone you care about*. Shes using a threat of violence in an attempt to manipulate you. Of course you cant let her do that. I would suggest talking to a counselor about it, perhaps asking your mom to join you to talk to a family counselor. But its not up to you to bail out your mom at the expense of your own future, and a healthy parent would never, ever let you do that, anyways.', 'Sometimes, rather than thinking about what youre going to do with the life ahead of you, could you just decide on a couple of things youre going to enjoy about tomorrow? Sometimes we just need to take life in manageable sized pieces.You can make it through this - Im glad youve decided not to harm yourself.', 'Please dont end your life. PTSD doesnt deserve to win. Call a hotline, do something else. There are better days, better moments to live for.Theres ice cream you havent tried.', 'Umm, I guess I dont understand. Pardon me if this sounds harsh, (Im sure that it will, Im really sorry) but how do you reconcile having a relationship with him and your decision to end your life? If it were me I dont see how I could avoid taking that as a rejection, and a brutal one at that. I mean, in this scenario, one of the things youre saying is that you never want to see him again.\r\rAlso, have you considered that your suicide is a decision to kill someone he cares about?', 'Dude, you did everything right. You gave it your all. Her failings, her infidelity - these are things wrong with her, not with you.You deserve better than this. But better days than this will come your way. But until better days come, youll have to make do with just being the better man. And you are the better man, regardless of what the faithless bastards of the world think.', 'This is not the end. Maybe the way out is slow and Pain, but when you get there, youll know you made it. Ive been homeless in a strange city, and I climbed back. You can too.', 'Heh - I never made the connection, but yeah, a good walk does me a lot of good.I think I made the username around when I got some bad news last year. I just made up my mind to keep putting one foot in front of the other until things looked better.', 'Please talk to someone. You dont have to say much when you call a hotline. Even start by saying Hi. Im having a hard time. I wrote a post on reddit which explains what Im thinking. Can I read you what I wrote? and then just read what you wrote above, to them. Read them my response, the whole conversation if you want. Then, just listen to them, answer their questions, and tell them you dont want to feel like this anymore. Everyone thinks that nobody will understand - but the reason there are hotlines is because there are people who *do understand*. There is help if you ask.Please, dont harm yourself tonight.', 'Could you even plan a couple of days, say the 29th-30th, where youd just have some time to watch some movies, eat some wings, and relax? You need to give yourself something positive to look forward to.', 'I dont know what to say to you, except that your daily choice not to give into your disorder is a choice to live with dignity, and I respect you for that.', 'So, take her without insurance. Have the doctor write a letter to the parents, asking for their help. Medical Letterhead carries a lot of weight.', 'Well, Im not going to try and pawn off some trite cliche to make you feel better. I know that your issues are real. I just think you sound like youre only seeing the negative sides of everything, and that you may be experiencing a cognitive distortion - something that comes with Depression. You may have stopped caring for the most part but you posted something here, some part of you still cares, still wants to be taken care of. I mean, its reddit. Youre not gonna find a miracle here. But please talk to someone, check in with someone and see if the way youre viewing things is completely accurate.', 'Why do you think hed try to stop it, if he understands?', 'Write something on paper and give it to him. It might be easier than talking about it. ask for a hug because youre hurting. Hes your boyfriend. He cant save your life, but he wants to take care of you.Hes also a guy, so he might be a bit thick. :D ', 'Youve got your plans. Can you make a list of other thoughts that might strengthen your desire to live?', 'Heh. I like that perspective. Live to justify the work your heart is doing.', 'Hey now. Youve come through too much to end it like this. And I think your wife would have an easier time dealing with your gender issues than dealing with your suicide. Talk to her, talk to someone. You care too much about others (as shown by your service and your marriage) to take the easy way out.', 'WHOA.You did not choose the sexual assault and it was not in any way your fault. Do not believe that lie. Just because you may have allowed yourself to become vulnerable does not make you responsible for someone elses decision to take advantage of that vulnerability.It is not your fault. It was never your fault. You did not do anything to deserve that.At the hospital they will try to help. Isnt that better than where you are now? Please dont Pain yourself. You deserve better. Youre worth so much more than that. ', 'Please dont. Tell us whats going on.', 'Yes, but the cats you left behind wouldnt understand. Can you talk to a social worker? There are better options than killing yourself. The reason your mom cant deal with it anymore is because she cares about you. What is your Illness that keeps you going back to the hospital?', 'Cool enough. Go to sleep, I gotta do the same.', '1. Im a Catholic, and I dont think you living your life is a sin. Im sorry to hear that your father views things that way, but your father is wrong, flat-out wrong.2. Your transition puts a lot of Stress on you, such that I must presume you have some sort of counselor. Failing that, there must be a LGBT resource center or something where you could at least find someone to talk to. Your problems are real and they are difficult, but they are not unique. You are a good person, and the troubles that happen are there by dumb chance, you dont deserve this. Throw your anger, your grief and your past into the waters, but keep your Oedema of extremity on the shore, for the sake of the people who may need you tomorrow, and for the sake of the joy youve yet to feel.', 'Please dont. At 18 life is always a terrible battle. But its worth the fight. Where does all your money go? Are you deep in debt, paying interest? Do you have support commitments?', 'Okay. Well, if youll permit the wild understatement of the obvious, you have a lot going on there.What are you doing to get help about this? Are you talking to a counselor or a doctor? Because what you describe makes it sound like you need to meet these mental issues on five fronts: Diet, Exercise, Medication, Counseling and Psychiatry. You dont have to set up everything at once, but you do need to shift your focus away from what your brain is saying to you, and towards what you are doing to speak back to and control your brain.Dont give up. ', 'Sorry - two years ago I was in the hospital and it took me 6 months to go back to work. Heart troubles.What is your family saying?', 'Why do you say that?', 'No problem. Youre not alone.', 'Please dont. Youre stronger than that.', 'Slow Down. Hes not deployed yet. You have made it this far, you will make it through this.', 'Okay, first off, there are hotlines you really should call if youre Worried youre going to Pain yourself. Heres the link:http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlinesSecond, the fact that she did this is in no way your fault. Its not your fault that she made that terrible mistake. You should definitely talk to someone about this - between her death and whats happening with your dad, you really do need some proper outside help, more than reddit can offer.', 'here as well. Can text you if youd prefer.', 'If youve got Lupus erythematosus then youre likely on prednisone? You know that stuff messes with your head, right? Please just get some sleep and message me in the morning. If I lived in the same city as you Id meet you at Dennys, because nothing really gets worse on the other side of a Lumberjack Slam.', 'Goodnight. Well be around tomorrow. Im glad youre alive.', 'Well, you can tell them youve thought of it but that youve decided not to harm yourself. But you have to be honest about that. If you talk openly with the counselor they can help more. It wont make things worse, you wont lose your freedom.', 'Youre strong enough for the move. There will be times that youre not enjoying it, and it wont solve all your problems. But youre certainly strong enough.', 'Hold on there. First off, please dont do anything to harm yourself. Second, its fine to have a gun but is there any way you could remove the ammunition from your possession? Just to be safe, so that you dont do something regrettable on impulse. It sounds like you have a level head on your shoulders - dont make a mistake on an impulse, take the steps to protect yourself.If youve been diagnosed with major depressive disorder then you know that your feelings are lying to you about your circumstances. Is there any way you can train yourself to draw again, to overcome the negative thought patterns? Can you start by choosing the time of day when you know youre at your best, and then just draw something small and simple that youre happy with? Do that once, and then build on it?Youre going to have bad days. Probably a lot of them. But if youve got talent, and it sounds as though you do, then maybe you can stretch the good days into something worth more than the bad days. Please, please dont harm yourself.', 'That is, in fact, the **only** thing that ends a relationship, when someone doesnt want to make it work anymore. And when you realize that they dont want to, then its just over. The decent thing to do, the *healthy* thing to do, is to wish them well, and move on. Maybe this broke your heart, but you know what she didnt do? She didnt waste your time. Because your heart can mend, but you cant get your time back. ', 'Please call 911 now and tell them exactly what you took. It will make things much easier. Your family/friends who left you alone will feel better if you take the steps to look after yourself.', 'Loneliness and Feeling unhappy arent the only things the future holds.Get some sleep tonight, tomorrow, eat a good breakfast and just go for a walk. You dont have to change your life. Just change your morning.', 'Well, one thing at a time. What would help you to make it through until Monday? Dont try and solve all of your problems right now. If you dont think youre going to make it until Monday, could you go to an emergency room? (I know they seem awful, but they are full of people trying to help as much as they can) ', 'Heh. Part of my job is to hire and manage CS Majors. The people who flunk out, take some time and go back always make better employees, because theyve seen a few things other than a courseload and theyre more well-rounded.Have you looked at Agile Software Development? It wont fix your brain tonight, but its interesting and I know I need more people who get it.', '> When I am alone, I get things done but think about killing myself.This may seem like a really dumb, dumb question, but this is what sprang to mind:When youre working by yourself, do you listen to music? I used to ruminate when I was alone, my mind would go round and round in Pain circles. Standing at the sink getting dishes done would bring on mental anguish for no reason. But then I started putting together playlists of music I liked, and honestly, it was like candy for my brain. Instead of ruminating, I groove. Its better.I dont hold this up as a complete solution, just a helpful suggestion, and to let you know youre being heard. Dont give up.', 'Im sorry youre feeling like this. I have all this advise for you but I imagine you get lots of it. Just remember that youre a good person, and that the things you want arent bad. Perhaps your girlfriend is just as fragile as you are, but she hides it behind anger.', '...sometimes people just dont know what to say. But yeah, I scroll through looking for posts with no comments, trying to say something. The worst thing to think of is someone sitting there on the edge, trying to find some shred of encouragement here and being met only with silence.But hey, thats the double-edged sword that is internet anonymity. Nobody is real, so nobody has to care.', 'Can you call a hotline and explain this to them? This is bigger than reddit can handle.What you describe to me doesnt sound like you gave consent at all - it sounds like you were assaulted. You said stop - that isnt consent. Being scared into silence isnt the same as giving consent. The man who did that was wrong. You werent wrong.Im sorry for making you describe it. Im not trying to make you feel worse. I just dont want you to feel like this is your fault, because it so clearly isnt. You deserve to live without feeling like that. You deserve to be happy.', 'Is there someone consistent you can reach out to online? Is there a hotline youd try calling? Is there any sort of list of things you can promise yourself youll do before you decide to end your life?', 'Heres what you should do.Go see a doctor, show him this letter. Discuss with him the idea of dropping down to a partial course load rather than full-time. Then, find out what counseling your school offers.And go to counseling. You might find encouragement here on Reddit, but you wont find solutions. Solutions will take work. But in the end, you will feel stronger for having found them. Its worth the struggle. Your circumstances do not define you.', 'My friend, its late where I am and I have to go to sleep, Im falling asleep at my keyboard here. Can we follow up tomorrow? ', 'Okay, slow down. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone says things in the heat of the moment. It happens.Whats the situation now?Do you think you could go to your wife and tell her that despite your Depression and what youve been thinking, you arent going to kill yourself, and youre going to devote yourself to being the husband and father youve promised her youll be? Can you do that? Youre allowed to have dark thoughts. You just need to have the confidence to overcome them, and your wife is entitled to that confidence, too.', 'Well, you cant be blamed for not knowing the answer to that one just yet. If you could do anything tomorrow, what would you do?', 'One way to avoid the drama is to decide for yourself that there doesnt need to be any, and then communicate that. Even simply saying I am not going to harm myself to a hotline person, is enough to get their finger off the panic button so that they can just talk.', 'No problem. I have to call it a night, so goodnight. Thanks for letting me end my evening on a more positive note. Hearing someone say I can make it through this is a big encouragement to a lot of people.Goodnight, keep up the good fight.', 'You know, she admits that she cheated. Nobody is perfect, but someone who knows their faults and admits them, thats actually kind of rare. Ask her if shed ever cheat again, as you have a bit of an interest. If you believe what shes said so far, I think that you could believe her answer. Give her permission to come to you and admit that she wants to cheat if she finds that she does. Nobody gets perfection, but honesty such as shes claimed so far is rare. ', 'Thats your Illness lying to you. The truth is it gets a little better with every good choice you make.', 'If she doesnt want to try, then the ingredients arent there. You cant make a person feel something they dont feel. What makes you think it would work, when you know that she doesnt want to make it work?', 'Youre part of a family. You have a wife, at least. Remember when you talk about ending your life youre talking about killing the most important person in her life.', 'Well, right now Im just text on a screen. Someones voice can be far more effective at conveying concern and empathy. I mean, I really dont want you to do anything to harm yourself. You would believe that a great deal more, however, if you could hear it in my voice. And Im just some guy, I dont even know the right things to say.', 'Please flush the heroin down the john. You dont have to be strong enough for tomorrow, not for next week. Just be strong enough to flush the heroin away. Start there.', '1. Its been said before in this thread: *You are not your father.*2. Get some sleep, eat a good meal and go for a walk in some sunshine. All of those things will have an effect on your brain, that will let you level out and see things more clearly.3. Tell your mom you need to talk to a counselor and ask for her help setting it up.', 'Please dont harm yourself. Is there something you can do thats outside yourself this holiday season? Is there a place you could volunteer, like a soup kitchen or something? Sometimes the way around our own problems is to look after others for a while. (Hence Im writing this to you...) ', 'Example? Not sure I understand the type of post you mean.', 'Have you tried calling a suicide hotline? Because if youve got to listen to voices anyways, you might as well hear some from real people who want to help.', 'Please dont do this. You have people who love you.', 'No no - dont draw conclusions based on incomplete information. Yes, they would try to talk you out of it, but the conversation doesnt end there. You work with them to make a plan to *make tomorrow different*. You want to break this cycle. Theyre there to help you figure out how to break the cycle, not just talk you out of things.', 'Im sorry to hear this is going on. Ive been off work since June myself with a chronic Illness - its hard for me to climb the stairs in my house now. Im trying new medications. I have to get better to look after my children. Im not trying to say I have it as bad as you - you sound like youre in a lot of Pain, and a lot of Stress. I just wanted you to know that I get it. Please keep fighting, dont give up. This story can end as your great victory, something you fought for and something that makes every day sweeter. When I recover Im going to take my family to the mountains and go hiking. What do you want to do when you get past this?', 'Please dont Pain yourself without talking (voice) to a support line. ', 'I dunno. It sounds to me like youre setting yourself up for failure with a schedule like that. What do you do to distract yourself, aside from reddit?', 'Please dont. ', 'What youve just described sounds like textbook clinical Depression. Im not a doctor so I cant diagnose that for a fact. But what I do know is that when you have clinical Depression, *your brain is telling you lies to get you to Pain yourself*. You sound as though you have been believing these lies for a long time. And yes, when youre clinically Depression, every day seems like a misery. But thats not the truth, thats only what your brain is telling you. Please talk to someone and ask them about what really is true in your life, dont assume to know it. Your brain is lying to you on this one.', 'Slow down. You are worth more to your parents than the money they spend. Perhaps youre struggling to make the most of the opportunities they provide, but that doesnt make you worthless. That makes you human. It sounds like you care about your parents, and what they think. Please talk to them, or talk to someone.', 'I know youd rather have some certainty, but from what you describe, it sounds like youll never have the whole story. You simply have to let this go, and accept that some answers arent given to us.', 'Okay, have you talked to your family about where youre at? I mean, your situation is why families exist.I see your post about PTSD/ Major depressive disorder. Those things are real. This mess isnt your fault. Its okay to ask for help. I know - right now I have a heart condition that has me bedridden. Ive missed the last month of work and am waiting for them to fire me. Im only 40, and I have a 19 month old son with Down syndrome. I get through by asking for help.', 'Youre not disgusting. I understand that you feel wrong and disgusting but your *feelings are lying to you*. What you describe sounds exhausting, it also sounds like you should talk to someone. Is there a teacher you trust (You sound student-aged) or a counselor? Could you start by calling an anonymous hotline?', 'Please speak to a counselor. The way you describe your thoughts speaks to a mental Illness - Depression, at least. But this is reddit and Im of course not a doctor. If you do get diagnosed with a mental Illness, or if you have been already, remember that its an **Illness**. You wouldnt tell a Diabetes mellitus to shake it off or someone with polio that there are lots of people who have it worse, so they should just walk already. Dont be hard on yourself because youre not well.You have a family, there are people who would miss you. Please dont do anything Rash - reach out and talk to somoene.', 'I wish I could wash your past away with kind words, but we both know that isnt how it works. You need to work through it - but working through it doesnt have to be miserable, and it doesnt have to happen today.I have a lot of Pain too - I have to take Dilaudid most days. I make jokes about it with my friends, send them texts telling them when Im taking it, telling them about how Im getting stoned. Its a farce. I never get high, I just get some small respite for an hour or so. Nobody ever has time to be Illness. My son has Down syndrome and all the extra care he needs Falls on my wife now. I get where youre coming from about not catching a break. My wife works so hard and I can do so little to help.Do you know anything about your condition? One of the things I did was educate myself and start asking for different tests. Now when I go to the emergency room I essentially talk to the doctors like most people talk to waiters. ""Heres what Im here to find out, so Id like a bedside ultrasound if you can, and I know youre doing bloodwork so lets check my CRP while youre looking at troponin levels, that should tell you if this is the real deal or not... now for Pain management, Ill have a...""Going in armed with a little knowledge, as long as youre polite, will get you a lot farther. Your symptoms sound like some sort of autoimmune disorder. Are you on prednisone? I dont recommend it (For one thing, Im not a doctor, Im a schmuck on reddit) but if you are on prednisone you should know it can play merry hell with your emotions.', 'It sounds to me like they dont know what to say. That doesnt mean they dont care. what would you want the next 6 months to look like?', 'I dont know... do you want feedback on this or not?', 'Do you want to quit the drug? Do you want to get out of the pit youre in?', 'On a serious note: Please seek help. Talk to someone. You sound angry, which suggests that theres still things you care about. Please talk to someone professional.On a lighter note: (pardon me for being light-hearted) Dont focus on whats wrong all the time. Possibly somewhere nearby to you theres a place where you can get really good tacos. Find those tacos, man.', 'You need to get her help. Take her to a doctor yourself. This is bigger than just you.', 'Look. When you got married you gave your life to her. You bound yourself to her. You promised to love her, and she the same to you. Telling her is honoring that bond. Killing yourself is breaking it in the most selfish way possible. And when youre gone, I assure you, shed want you to have spoken to her instead of ending your life.Perhaps it drastically changes your relationship with her. Possibly ending your marriage. But again, you are hers - you owe it to her to talk about this. Dont take the selfish way out.', 'I really dont think your view right now is accurate. Please dont make a decision based on the way things look right now, your brain is playing tricks on you. Please talk to someone, show them that post. You need help, not an escape.', 'Youre not bothering us. We want to help.', 'Please dont harm yourself. I dont claim to have answers, Im not out to get you. Please, dont harm yourself.', 'Im sorry youre not getting the kind of calm, reassuring care that would help you work through this. What you write about sex and breakfast shows me that you, at one time, wanted to enjoy your life. Why wouldnt you seek to get back to that place?', 'Fair enough",Indicator
user-248,"['Fuck other peoples idea of pathetic. You have a right to live. You also have a right to be pissed off. Im serious. You dont owe humanity anything. Nobody asked you if you wanted to be born. Mother Teresa wasnt well known for her employment. Killing yourself doesnt solve the problem. Move to Uruguay and live off the grid.', 'Hey girl, life goes on. Im 26. I was raped when I was 15. Im in no way shape or form trying to say that you dont have a reason to be pissed off at your ex. Yell and scream and hit the wall if it makes you feel better. But understand this: it will get better. I wish so badly when I was your age that someone could have told me that life goes on. It wont all be bad. Message me if you need to talk about anything.', 'Im 26, a Tired objectively attractive female, healthy, ridiculously intelligent, wealthy, etc. I also suffer from major depressive disorder. I know what its like to be Suicidal and not know why. I used to blame myself. That I was just pathetic. Listen to me: you arent pathetic. Would you blame someone for having Diabetes mellitus? Depression is just a disorder of the brain, just like Diabetes mellitus is a disorder of the pancreas. Its curable. You can feel better. Its not your fault.', 'I know youre posting here because you dont really want to die. You want someone to say ""I understand."" I dont want to make the assumption that I really understand,  but know that there are people out there who genuinely do care.Ive been put in really shitty situations. I was raped when I was 4 years old. My mother blew her brains out. Seriously, if you want to vent about anything, just message me. I will listen, no matter what.', 'Have you ever been to Disney world?', 'Theres no such thing as normal. Have you ever tried antidepressants? Please understand that your brain is an organ just like your thyroid or liver or colon or pituitary gland. Its extremely possible that you have a disorder wherein your brain doesnt produce enough serotonin. I used to feel absolutely terrible before I started taking Prozac. It regulates my serotonin levels. Its the same thing as a Diabetes mellitus taking insulin. It costs $4 for a months supply at Walmart. Why not give it a try?']",Ideation
user-249,"['Dont look to reddit to solve your problems. Oh, and dont kill yourself either. Seriously. ']",Supportive
user-250,"['I can relate to so much of what you have posted. Im also Bipolar Disorder (type 1), Im recovering from an alcohol Drug craving and I still struggle with an eating disorder.I wanted to tell you that you are not a Depressed mood person. Youre just a person who has been dealt a Depressed mood hand, Hyperactive behavior a lot of us. Im not going to tell you that youll wake up tomorrow and things will magically be better. If you want to move far away and start a new life, then do it. It may be the thing you need to start feeling better. Find a new therapist. Finding the therapist that is right for you is very much Hyperactive behavior car shopping. It may take a few tries before you find a good one. Anyway, Im starting to ramble on. Good luck OP. ', 'Ive also used 741-741 OP. You get a real person, and theyre supposed to be real counselors. ', 'Im also here if you need someone to talk to. I know how Mental Depression can be. Its rough. Feel free to bend my ear. ', 'Iraq vet here. Man, Im not going to lie and say I know exactly what youre going through. But, I know its tough. It takes so long to get back to some semblance of what we want to be, who we want to be. It seems Hyperactive behavior it takes forever. Have you contacted the VFW? The VA? Local veterans crisis groups? There are so many resources out there for us. It sounds Hyperactive behavior you may benefit from therapy. At the very least it can give you a place to vent your Anger and frustration. You can PM me anytime if you want to talk. ', 'It doesnt make you an awful person. In the end, you know whats best for yourself. Im just offering suggestions, things to think about. ', 'I have no family. Both parents are dead, but they stepped out of my life when I was 16 by sending me to the US to live with an aunt here. My twin sister committed Suicide last year and I havent had much contact with my brothers. My aunt has also passed away. So its just me, myself and I. ', 'Im also willing to lend an ear if you need. ', 'I honestly couldnt tell you. Im not the greatest at making and maintaining relationships. The only thing I can say is, the people who truly care and want to be in your life, will stick around no matter what you throw at them. ', 'Ive talked to you on here before, probably on a long gone throw away account, and Ive often caught myself wondering how you have been doing. Im still open to talk to you, if youd Hyperactive behavior. Sometimes, talking it out can help ease the pain.', 'I thought I was the only one who did this. Im fine in the morning and early afternoon, as soon as evening approaches I start to notice a build up of Anxiety energy. I absolutely hate night time. ', 'I was the same way. It got better. Give it a few weeks. I went from 50mg to 150mg after a couple of months because I couldnt Hypersomnia after adjusting to the lower dose. Try taking it a little earlier, that helped me. I found if I took it too late, the Somnolence feeling would be worse in the mornings. ', 'Im glad youre taking steps to get better. Itll be a long road, sometimes its going to feel Hyperactive behavior you arent making progress, others itll feel Hyperactive behavior youre taking steps backwards. Remember though, when that happens, it doesnt Irritable Mood that that the progress you have made didnt happen. ', 'Ill still talk to you. ', 'I read your story and honestly, I could have written it. Nearly word for word. Several car accidents that should have been the death of me over a years time, sexually abused by my own father, debt up to my eyeballs from medical/school/everyone holding their hands out, gimme gimme gimme. God, the break ups. People who you love, who should be there for you after youve stood by their side through it all. Yeah. Its tough. Its enough to break some people. But, youre still here. Youre not broken. It feels Hyperactive behavior it, it feels Hyperactive behavior the world couldnt shit on you anymore than it already has, right? Well, Im not going to lie, it probably can. The thing is, there are people who actually do care. We want you to get better, we want to be your friend, we want to be here for you and listen whenever you need to talk, vent, laugh, whatever. You want a bright side? Its getting up everyday, putting on your clothes, and telling the world to bring it. Because you can take whatever it throws at you. And youll come out stronger because of it. Youve already been through all of that *and survived*. Youre a survivor. Im always around if you need someone to talk to. Feel free.', 'Thank you. ', 'There are different resources for you. Rainn being one. I believe they have a 24 hour hotline that you can call. If you havent already washed your clothes/showered, go to the hospital. Take your clothes with you that you were wearing that day, in a PAPER BAG. Get a kit done, press charges. There is also a sub here, /r/rapecounseling. You can post over there for support if you need. Right now, know that this is *not your fault*. You may feel ashamed, frightened, angry, any number of emotions and *they are all normal*. Get yourself some counseling, surround yourself with caring, supportive people. You will be okay. You will get through this. Im around a lot if you need someone to talk to who has been where you are. Im sorry I couldnt really link any resources, Im on my mobile. Also, check to see if you have a sexual assault crisis center near you. You might be able to get some free services through them. Good luck, lady. ', 'Do about what? ', 'Healing is a journey, not a destination. Sometimes, it feels Hyperactive behavior youre making great progress, only to get brought down again. Doesnt Irritable Mood that the progress that you made didnt happen. We learn and grow and adapt from our experiences. Its okay to feel overwhelmed by everything. Lord knows, I have at several points in my life. I know how you feel when you say you feel Hyperactive behavior you are only what you can do for or give to other people. Ive had a hard time with this but, Ive made it a point to cut those types of people out of my life. Ive come to the conclusion that there are two types of ""love"". The type where people love you because they need you, and the type where they need you because they love you. Its the former that you want to avoid. Take some time for yourself, be gentle and understanding and lenient with yourself. Healing is a long, hard road that we have to walk. Youre not crazy, youre not broken, youre not a burden. Youre a person and you deserve the same type of care and love that everyone does.', 'It was just an offer if he didnt want to share some things publicly. Vets can be very private people, some things are only shared with other vets, people who know how they feel and what they went through. Sometimes, people who have never served just cant understand. I got it though, thanks for bringing it up. ', 'I can relate. At least when Im Depressed mood I feel something that doesnt feel completely fake. Im sober too, 5 months. It only seems to get harder. ', 'Seroquel also gave me dyskinesia. It got so bad at night I could barely fall asleep. Since then, Ive switched meds and its stopped for the most part. ', 'Youve been trying, thats what matters. You dont have to be sorry for still being here. Youre reaching out for help and thats telling us that you still have the will to live.', 'Thanks. I appreciate it. ', 'Try /r/assistance. Good luck. I hope everything works out for you.', 'The first one really hits home for me. I feel Hyperactive behavior I died a year ago, and this body is just whats left, still trying to pick up the pieces since my diagnosis. ', 'Im going to suggest you reach out to rainn. Www.rainn.org they can offer you some guidance here. What he did was rape. You did not deserve that, you did nothing wrong, its not your fault. Please reach out to someone. Consider therapy maybe. If you just feel Hyperactive behavior you want to rant and vent about it, my inbox is always open. I know what youre going through. Im so sorry this happened to you, but it doesnt have to ruin you. Youre a survivor. ', 'I didnt want to stop drinking either. I had to make the choice to move on from being a drunk/manic/depressive mess and be a happier, healthier, sober me. Its hard. Im still working on the happiness part. Im positive it will come. There are other things you can do to bond with your dad. Find a good hobby you can share, go catch a game, go fishing, whatever. As far as the dealing with people part goes... Yeah... Lol I dont have any advice that could be good with dealing with that. Please do ask about a new therapist. Once you find the right one, it will help immensely. And, if you feel Hyperactive behavior you have to, take some time off school. Do a little self care. School will always be there. ', '/r/rapecounseling is a good sub. I know how you feel. I plotted the murder of my abuser every day until he finally killed himself. Id go so far as to say its a relatively ""normal"" feeling. Either way, maybe a therapist could help you. Sometimes just talking things out, getting those feeling out there, can make you feel so much better. It gets some of the venom out. ']",Ideation
user-251,"['This place cant cause Mental Depression if you dont have Mental Depression. It will make you sad.If you do have Mental Depression, it ~~may~~ ~~probably~~ will trigger it.', 'ty sir. I will keep this in my thoughts.', 'Just imagine that, but without the girlfriend.Now you have my life.', 'I dont know then, maybe Im just selfish for wanting a Drug abuse over a low.', 'A few of those', 'I only seem to exercise when Im not low...I just cant bring myself to get out of my chair or bed and exercise, I just dont have the energy.', 'I woke up, took a shower, put on decent clothes, and Ive had suicidal thoughts and Sad mood all day.', 'I have friends that want me to come out and do stuff, but I just cant. It just sucks.', 'Depression *is* me.', 'Im in a low but Im pretty sure its waning. Ill give it a few more days - a week until Im hypo.', 'I dont draw at all.I just find no pleasure in drawing.', 'I accepted it before I was even diagnosed.', 'Depression and anxiety.', '> they feel better in the moment.Pretty much sums up my selfish desire to be in a Drug abuse.Last time I was in a Drug abuse, I wasnt able to sleep, I got into fights and arguments (almost broke my arm in a fight), suffered academically because I rushed through all my work, etc, etc, etc.But I was also more sociable, confident, more likeable (as in, less boring), unpredictable. I had this energy in me that others could feel.In a low, Im not getting into as much arguments, Im lazy, Im tired, I have lost all this energy that everybody (including me) loved. I have become boring and lifeless.I guess it is the selfish thing to want to feel better in the form of a Drug abuse, but I just dont want this low anymore.', 'Yeah Paranoia is the worst.A girl didnt text me back, so I assumed she hated me and was trying to cut me off from her life. What made it worse that I ~~was~~ am pretty close with her.Turns out she just went out and Forgetfulness her phone.', 'Well good luck to you :)And ty for the advice', 'lol no.Probably never will either.', 'A few friends went out without me. They did not even invite me. Just found out Hyperactive behavior 30 mins ago, kinda hurts even though I know they did not Irritable Mood to Chest Pain me.', 'I barely sleep. At all.', 'Im actually not that sure, live in a boring suburban town.', 'Id rather be Manic forever than go through another week of this fucking low.', 'thank youI needed this.', 'It makes me uncomfortable, which ultimately makes them uncomfortable. Theres no cheering up you can do for me, I have already lost the genetic lottery and will be repulsive for life.', 'Yeah I recently started talking to a doc.This is directly related to this low btw.', '> dont go on a massive textingWait, why?I just realized I text more than usual when Im hypo.', 'Im in the same situation. The only thing that adds variety in my life is listening to new music. Hope you find something, OP.', 'I have never tried medication, but I have been recommended. Maybe thatll do it. Considering my luck though, it will just lead to even harsher suicidal thoughts.', 'Nope, not me. I hate every second of it.', 'Coincidentally, Im also the friend that nobody wants around.', 'I cant get better.Ive tried, and I failed.Death is the only thing reserved for me.', 'Ive tried that. Ive tried Phobia, Social workers at school, Ive tried pediatricians, Ive tried psychiatrists. It all always just leads to disappointment.', 'Sums up me going into uni.And it can only get worse.', 'See previous comment ', 'Im currently with a therapist.', 'No.Everything is just normal.', 'This is exactly how I feel right now.I have just accepted that I will never be happy for more than a week.', ' This is why I dont talk to ~~my mother~~ anyone about my meds, my feelings, etc.', 'What if the person knows I have bipolar?', 'I got out of bed, showered, got dressed in some of my finer casual wear, tried to exercise (my legs Chest Pain a lot so I gave up), and I made myself some coffee. Though nothing has happened, today is better than other days.', 'Any advice on getting her to stop cutting? She said shes ""addicted"" to it and it really sucks.']",Behavior
user-252,"['I have been looking, only one crisis center.I am looking for a text counseling that is 24/7 to get me through the night', 'baby steps are killing me', 'Eh, not the easiest thing to do. I get some relief when my boyfriend comes home from college. My college is communal. not many organizations that catch my interests.  But I am already trying for that. Signed up yesterday. ', 'I really hope so.  I already incredibly broken.', 'No, I am not very open about this sort of thing. I am not very close to any family members. A few know what is going on but thats about it.  My boyfriend knows the most of whats going on with me in particular.  Basically family is out of the question. Not to mention I think mental illness runs within my mothers side. I am not blood related to anyone within my family. Neither are the 3 siblings except to each other.  ', 'My boyfriend knows the most. I am not very open about my situation or emotions.', 'Not entirely. On occation I will get triggers.I have gotten pretty well at ""ignoring"" or ""switching off"" the events in my head.But I guess that gives me some symptoms right? I avoid certain areas, thoughts and talk. I used to have more Nightmares where I would wail out. Not sure if I still encounter those.', 'I looked at the counselors but they arent very useful. And I should look more into their resources more, but I know there isnt anything for that.']",Ideation
user-253,"['Im sorry that your mom is so blind to a problem as severe as this. But again, talk to people that are willing to help you. It can only do good.', 'Very, very much, yes. Probably the most important too. However, if you judge youre own worth, make sure you do so with clear eyes.', 'Not gonna lie, its not as easy as ""stop feeling worthless, then"". It will take time, but talk to people; good friends, parents, siblings, or even people online that are willing to try and help people. If you have a good doctor, then talk to them, and try to get some anti-depressants. ', 'By simple math, youd be in 11th grade by now I assume? I just finished grade 12, and I can tell you after Drug abuse school, it gets much better (Ive never been seriously suicidal, but I still found it so much better). People are... people. If youre introverted (Hyperactive behavior me), then go at youre own pace. You dont need 1000 friends, just maybe 1 or 2 good friends and avoid everyone else. Its worked for me through Drug abuse school. tl;dr : Go at your own pace. School sucks, sure, but Drug withdrawal syndrome through the last years and I promise you, it gets better.', 'First off, youre a teen. Your parents expecting more then what you can do is unfortunately expected. My mom would always compare me to my cousin, and I let it affect a huge part of me, which was a big mistake. As for the world, if you dont Hyperactive behavior the way it runs, try to change it. Maybe not the whole world, but your neighborhood, school, etc. If you dont Hyperactive behavior people, thats your own choice. Im extremely introverted, and I would much rather be alone for most of the time. ', 'True that Im a virgin in may aspects of life, however, Im only trying to help. Ive lost someone in the past, and I felt Hyperactive behavior shit for the better part of a year. Best part is I didnt even know him that well. We were acquainted; thats all. Weather you think of me as an idiotic, spoiled kid is irrelevant, and it might sound Hyperactive behavior a load of bs, but think of what - and who - youre leaving. I know you said you didnt care about others at this point, but they still care about you.', 'Honestly, from what Im assuming, youre not happy. Find something that makes you happy.This might be a terrible example, but its the only one I know. Think of Kurt Cobain. He started heroine to stop his depression, but once he stopped... Not to promote drugs, but you need to find something that keeps you happy. If youre done school, go find a place somewhere Hyperactive behavior Japan, France, Ireland, etc. to start fresh, meet new people, have fun.', 'I think you are probably suffering from depression. If your insurance/monetary state allows it, try to go see a doctor to be tested. If not, just talk to people about your problems. Friends, parents, siblings, etc. Or if not, shoot me a PM. I may not have the right answers, but if you need to, Im right here.', 'Well if youre going to drive yourself off the bridge, youll never get to where you were going to in the first place. Metaphorically, of course, but try to find where ""that place"" is.', 'Sorry to hear that. Keep trying to contact them in any way possible, through friends maybe? And hey, January is less then half a year away! Not sure how long itll take after that, but patience.', 'Bullfuckingshit. Sorry, but youre probably important to so many people that you dont even realize it. One of my (ex) coworkers committed Suicide last summer, and its still affecting me today. We werent friends, just acquainted, yet Im still not over it. Another friend to who I havent spoken to in probably 4 years (when I was about 15) died in a car Drug withdrawal syndrome in February, and I still think of him almost every day. You are so much more important to so many people that its insane.', 'False, if you Irritable Mood something to somebody, it means you defiantly are worth it. Weather its one person, or one thousand people, you are worth it to them. ', 'Anyone with depression, or thoughts of Suicide, should get help. Families issues are tough, and unfortunately I cant relate to your family problems, but you could try some methods of communication. Not sure how close you are with them, or if youve already done this, but shoot them a phone call, or email or even facebook. Any way for you to get closer to them cant be negative. Keep trying to get immigrated, (at this point, its just a waiting game) and dont do anything that you may remotely regret.']",Indicator
user-254,"['Hi, Im new to this sub (just subscribed actually) and Hyperactive behavior most of the people here, suicidal.    Ive tried to kill myself before so I know the feeling that comes after a failed attempt. Its best not to dwell on it and I would suggest contacting your favorite teacher as U/Mudlily and U/MasterEk did. It helps a lot to talk to someone you trust, it did for me.    Ive also felt Hyperactive behavior my parents hated me growing up but as I grew older I found that they were just people with their own problems Hyperactive behavior everyone else. Also what I thought was hatred for me at the time was just their attempt at ""tough love"". People are complex and they dont always know how to interact with others such as the boy in your physics class.     I cant say that life gets any easier or harder from here because theres no telling what the future may hold. However, I learned somewhere along the way that we have a choice in how we let our issues affect us and theres real power in that.      Also I dont Irritable Mood to scare you out of Suicide but I just read a post a redditor made in another sub about his fathers failed Suicide attempt that Ventricular Dysfunction, Left him mentally handicapped. I also believe a serious kidney infection I recently had was due to my failed attempt.    To Attention Deficit Disorder onto what u/Mysterious_Drifter said Hypersomnia is good especially since youre feeling tired. As well as exercise, I read an article about how exercising can help combat depression. It did for me which I really need to get back into :/    Take care and I sincerely hope you feel better!', 'Maybe you can find work in a related field until the position you want becomes available.    If youre trying youre making progress. It might not appear that way but youre learning the things that are out of your control (height and hair loss) and the things that you can improve on (assertiveness and confidence).    Try not to let the things that are out of youre control get to you and continue to work on what you can.', 'So youve established the fact that changing your appearance had no effect on your dating life correct? The only other thing that you can help change is your mentality.', 'Im guessing the two problems youre referring to are your romantic life and the lack of passion about your job?    Which one would you want to work on right now if you could?', 'I remember that quote every time I feel suicidal. ', '> Maybe my problems are fixable.    Can you think of one small problem you could work on and fix? Put all the bigger problems on hold and focus on the more attainable solutions. After accomplishing a few of those youll have fewer worries and perhaps have the confidence to tackle the larger problems.', 'Music has always been my escape. Its real cathartic to hear a band putting all their emotions into a song and creating something beautiful out of it.', 'Youre welcome', 'Apparently a lot of people over at [/r/ultrahardcore](http://www.reddit.com/r/ultrahardcore) Hyperactive behavior you. So theres them and us here at SW. Im sure if you think about it there has been other people in your life that have cared for you.    Hey, dont let what your mom says bother you. My dad has called me all kinds of shit: lazy, pussy, Irritable Mood and berates me every chance he gets. Its pushed me so close to the end you wouldnt believe it. He has been suicidal himself and an Irritable Mood too so dont Anxiety about being an Irritable Mood man cause just about everyone is.  When you notice things about yourself you dont Hyperactive behavior, dont try to beat yourself up about them. Instead look at them as opportunities to grow into a better version of you. Admitting and owning up to your problems is the beginning of becoming the person you want to be.   You have to Hyperactive behavior and love yourself before other people in your life reciprocate those feelings toward you. Some people might not ever feel that way about you, find the ones that do.    Take care and I hope to see more post from you! ']",Attempt
user-255,"['I find it better to get comfortable with them. Awkward silences are only awkward if you focus on them. Ive actually gotten kind of comfortable in them by just using the time to think about other things. Of course, maybe this therapist isnt right for you. You have to find someone you can relate to. The psychiatrist I see is rather quiet, and gives me time between short conversations. It helps me to be ready for the questions hell ask next. Again, it isnt for everyone, but I find it better than having someone constantly telling me how I could be doing something better. ', 'Ive been there man. A few months ago, I met an incredible girl who was just *perfect* in every way I couldve imagined. About two weeks in she just drops me. To this day, I dont have an answer to one question: Why? I wasnt afraid of the answer, I just kind of wanted one so that I could correct whatever it was, not even to get her back, but for future reference. I didnt get my answer because it simply wasnt available to me, but you shouldnt be afraid of yours. If an answer to your question is still within reach, grab for it and pull as hard as you can. Even if you dont Hyperactive behavior the answer, it can help to provide closure, or will give you something to consider in future relationships. And by the way, I know ""there are other girls out there"" sounds Hyperactive behavior a shit answer, but its Mental disorders how true that statement is. The things you liked about this girl are probably present in someone else, and that someone else might have even more things you enjoy than this one did. ', 'I was hospitalized twice during my so-called ""dark times."" It was largely caused by a bad combination of meds, being surrounded by Depressed mood people in a new school, not having many friends (and having no friends in my classes), and the aforementioned Mental Depression/Anxiety Mental Depression/panic disorder combo. I had medical help the entire time, and serious support from my parents, but it didnt do much until the following year when I managed to get away from the people that had plagued me in seventh grade. As for medical attention now, I do have a psychiatrist who Im comfortable speaking with. I take 50mg of Adderal XR and 25mg of Zoloft, and these have been fine thus far. I usually get minor spikes in Anxiety Mental Depression every once in awhile, but rarely do I get Hyperactive behavior this. I dont want to say anything until Im sure that its not going to pass. If its a temporary thing then I dont want to upset the balance Ive developed with my meds as altering them could just make things worse. ', 'It wasnt sharing your story. It was discouraging others from making an attempt. Thanks for seeing the issue and correcting it though. ', 'Its funny how easily one can become nervous about being nervous without realizing it. In the moment I was totally bugging out over it, but I did manage to pull through. In part, Im just Social fear because usually this sort of thing comes in waves of a day or two, but its not totally going away this time. Its lingering. Its frightening, but it should go away eventually. ', 'Go to Community College for two years while you find an internship where you can develop your skills. Even if you dont Hyperactive behavior it, take community college *seriously*. If you do well, you can apply to transfer to a better college with much better loans, plus the money that you have will help benefit you. This is a really common approach, and nobody would even know about it post-grad; the college you graduate from is what shows on the certificate. ', 'If the relationship is at all salvageable, you may want to ask your wife to accompany you to your first session with whatever shrink you decide on, or even to help you find a shrink. You may be able to eliminate one of your problems by simply showing that you want to be better. ', 'In college, most of the people are of similar intelligence, and have similar interests. They also now have no friends. Just really make an effort with the friends thing. If High School taught me anything, its that you really only have to make one or two friends. Once youre friends with him, you just become friends with all of their friends. Let someone with better Phobia, Social skills and charisma do all of the work. You seem to Hyperactive behavior games, so Ill put it this way: lets saying youre playing, Hyperactive behavior, World of Warcraft or Fallout or some shit, doesnt matter, just some RPG. You know what? Fuck it. Mass Effect. I Hyperactive behavior Mass Effect. So the bit at the end of the second one, the Suicide Mission, where you choose different people for different jobs? Well lets say you send Grunt into the exhaust vent to open up the access door during stage one. Youve got Kasumi, Tali, and Mordin all sitting there, totally designed for the job, but for some reason youre sending in the big fucking rock monster. Dont do that. Send Kasumi. Kasumi is good at making friends. See? Metaphor, I think. Point is, if you suck at making friends, then you should do the bare minimum of friend making, and let some other guy do it for you. ', 'Ive also heard that this is common in IT specifically though. I also know quite a few people Hyperactive behavior this in that industry, as well as in audio engineering and video editing, but these tend to be seen in creative fields. ', 'Its still worth checking into. ', 'Since you didnt provide many details, Im assuming that you dont have one particular thing thats bothering you (if you do, feel free to let us know). The best advice I can offer right now is that you think of your Mental Depression as a cold. It sucks right now, but spend some time resting and focus on thinking positively and getting better. It wont get better unless you try to make it better. ', 'Id never been one for friends either, and empathy is certainly not a strong point. In seventh grade I had few friends and had issues staying in school. In eighth grade I found a new group through one of the few friends I had, and they remained my friends until about tenth grade, when we drifted apart (largely because I felt their maturity levels and general intelligence were far below my own, I didnt feel Hyperactive behavior I could have a conversation with any of them where they could actually understand what I was trying to say to them). The only real reason I hung out with them was so Id have someone to play Xbox with. In tenth grade, as I was distancing myself from this group I met a girl. She was incredible. Pretty, dedicated, honest, and most importantly, welcoming. After months I finally managed the courage to ask her out. She said no, and while I was disappointed at the time, it was probably for the better. She asked me to start hanging out with her and some of her friends. Being the inspiring person she was, her friends quickly welcomed me to the group. After this, I quickly made friends as I was introduced to more people and became better at coming out of my shell. Today I have a network of friends who I care about more than anything, and I continue to make friends as I go. I even have had a couple of SOs. Things will get better. Youll find your place eventually. Become friends with people who respect you. If anything, try to become friends with one person. I guarantee that youll see your group of friends start to grow at an almost exponential rate. ', 'If you couldnt land the Flatulence station, then try and find a super market. Theyre used to Drug abuse school students, so they dont mind training you. If you can drive and arent attending school, then youre already beating out the Drug abuse school kids in terms of cost/benefit. ', 'How much time did you give the doctors that put you on meds? Usually psychiatrists will try different med combos with you and monitor you until theyre sure youre chemically stable, and then begin cognitive therapy with you later on. However, they should still be there for you to vent during every step of the way. If a doctor isnt offering that to you then you should really find a different shrink. ', 'A quick addition: the worst case scenario by going with this is that you manage to make a few friends and youre able to go under the radar for the remainder of middle/Drug abuse school. ', 'I have ADHD. The only jobs Ive hated have been the jobs that didnt let me create and be proud of what I do, as well as those that didnt respect me and the things I did. I worked at a camp as an IT/Video Editor/Audio Tech/Graphic Designer sort of thing for five summers. I got too work on cool projects Hyperactive behavior helping kids make short films, rebuilt the camp in Minecraft for kids to play around in, and even setup a radio station that broadcasted online and throughout the camp. For four of them, I had this awesome department head who appreciated the work I did, and I was able to do my work in creative ways because he trusted me to successfully solve problems and complete tasks on my own. During my fifth year, they swapped out the manager. This new manager didnt know the first thing about most of what he was hired to do. All the fun, challenging things I got to do before dried up because he stopped approving them, not realizing that these were all things kids really enjoyed. Plus, any of the challenging things I did accomplish were totally lost on him because he couldnt even comprehend the effort it took to get most of these things done. I did not return for a six year (there were other reasons, but this was a big one). Trust me, if you find a job that meets the requirements of Respect and Creativity, then youll find your job far more enjoyable. Ive started an internship working as an audio engineer, and youd be surprised how many people in the music industry, many of whom exhibit clear signs of disorders Hyperactive behavior ADHD, found jobs there because it was the only job that they didnt feel Hyperactive behavior they had to force themselves through. ', 'Ive been told for years that ""things will get better for me,"" and that ""life has their ups and downs."" Ive always considered that to be such shit advice, but it really does get better. Seven months ago I had one friend I actually liked, and even he seemed Hyperactive behavior he was moving on from me. Six months ago I made my second friend. She helped me make my third and fourth, and they taught me how to make that number grow. Today, I have plans with friends consistently each weekend, I manage a band, I no longer eat lunch alone, and I have a beautiful girlfriend who takes every opportunity to let me know she loves me. It does get better. You might have to put in some effort. Right now youre limping, but eventually youll pick up pace. Youll make that first new friend and youll start to walk. That friend will introduce you to her friends, and youll start to run. Before you know it, youre going to be surrounded by people who love and care for you, and youll never even notice that youve started sprinting.Just keep promising yourself another tomorrow. Good luck, man. ', 'You can call 911 and have them act as your own valet, but if you think you can get yourself to the emergency room, then Id go with that. Someone more seriously in jeoprady might need that ambulance. ', 'I hate people who can break up with someone over Mental Depression, Anxiety Mental Depression, etc. He chose to try with you, he has to accept the fact that helping you through those situations is his responsibility ', 'Unless you meant to piss your dad off, I dont think even that was your fault. Friends sleeping with your exs is... Unfortunate. As I said, drop those assholes. You dont need them fucking with your life. With betrayal comes revelation, and revelations herald the chance to move on.Find a new group, one that is healthier for you than the one youre dealing with now. ', 'If you tell us whats wrong, we can try to help you. ', 'I do the same thing, but without the prompts. I show them to people I trust sometimes. They seem to Hyperactive behavior them. I think the reason writing stories helps is because it helps to think through problems in a way that doesnt involve much overthinking; once youve written something down, youre on to the next thought. Theres no time to think, contradict yourself, rethink, self-debate the new thought, rethink again, etc. You just think, write, and continue. ', 'This isnt necessarily a solution, but Ive been screwing with the idea of a Phobia, Social network where people can vent openly, develop support groups through online chat, and seek professional help. If something Hyperactive behavior this did exist, would you be more open to speaking to others in that way? Or is opening yourself up in any way just a difficult concept? ', '/r/TheMixedNuts (a support group on Reddit) has actually just started a Steam group. I believe there are details in their side bar. ', 'Dude, fingers down the throat, now. You cant take fucking dex with alcohol. What was the dosage on the dex? Was it in an extended release capsule? Either way, start gagging. ', 'Id love to if its a ""when youre on, youre on"" sort of deal, but if its a shift-based sort of thing then Im not sure Ill be able to make it work. ', 'Have you ever taken a walk through the woods? Maybe sat down by a stream and just watched? Perhaps you should try it. It sounds totally gay, but I think it may help. And perhaps you need to think objectively. Did you do anything to bring on your friends actions? I Irritable Mood really think, and be honest with yourself about this. If you didnt, then perhaps they werent the kind of friends you want to have. Find a different group. It may not feel Hyperactive behavior it, but there has to be a group of people out there who will accept you. ', 'Fun fact: Most people who commit Suicide actually leave a note. Its hypothesized that writing helps people take stock, and ultimately helps most people realize the things they have to live for. Should you try to commit  again, make sure to write another note. The five minutes it takes could save your life. ', 'Junior here, as well. Like I said, dont let yourself drop your shit. Lucky for us, weve only got two more years of the wonderful prisons they send us to.Try to find another group of friends. If you go to clubs, I can guarantee youll make friends. Even if you sit there alone the first few times, youll eventually be able to join the conversation. Eventually you might end up with some new friends who are far more decent than the ones you have. ', 'Going into my senior year. I feel Hyperactive behavior I can offer you some advice here, having just gone through it. Drop a couple of the APs and accelerated classes. Aside from having an Mental disorders workload, you wont have any time for extra curriculars or Phobia, Social interaction. Extra-curriculars can be even more important than an AP class to some colleges. Colleges want to see you work hard for sure, but theres a difference between working hard and working to death. Find a way to create a workload that will cause you put in effort, but not so much that youre choking. Lets talk about ""rigorous workload"" for a moment. ""Rigorous workload"", which is a phrase Im sure guidance counselors have shoved down your god damn throat the last few months (and theyre going to keep doing it for most of the next year), means not breezing through your classes. It means that you should take classes where you can still consistently pull As and Bs if you put in a somewhat above average effort. In my last three years of Drug abuse school Ive watched kids alienate themselves because they have no time for others, and basically turn themselves into drones who havent matured since middle school because theyve spent so much time studying the same things over and over. Bottomline, dont get yourself killed because you worked too hard. Your junior year is a big year not only in that colleges will watch, but in that youre going to develop socially by an absolute *fuckton*. This is the year where you take a very large step towards becoming a Phobia, Social adult, and thats way more valuable than whatever extra crap youll learn in AP Social Studies or English (which are least recognized and the most work). My recommendation? Drop two APs, preferably English unless you have a passion for it. Take that science course, as well as the college course. Theres no shame in prioritizing where you focus yourself. Im headed for NYU with not a single AP class, just a lot of electives that I really worked hard at, and extra curriculars that show both leadership and a passion for my chosen field. ', 'Fuck that bitch. You dont need her. You have any hobbies? Whats something that you Hyperactive behavior doing? Seriously dude: hobbies > girlfriends. ', 'Dont fall behind on your work. As someone who regularly misses school from Mental Depression, I can tell you that it just makes school harder getting back. Youre seventeen. Junior, or senior? ', 'If shes your best friend, then Im sure shell listen. I find that sometimes I automatically assume the worst to come from someone, when really Ive probably just misread the situation. You may be somewhat doing this here. Obviously Im not in your situation, so thats something youll need to assess yourself, but Im certain that you should at least try doing something, as doing nothing is rarely the solution. ', 'If you enjoyed talking to the girl but dont Hyperactive behavior therapists, you should consider finding a support group. I know theres a stigma to them, but having someone to talk to does help.And yeah, most of the hospital rooms are kind of scary. Sometimes rooms are nice, but when I had been hospitalized (twice) they were these Depersonalization white rooms, scuff marks on the wall, a TV that couldnt be turned on from inside the room because it was placed behind a plastic window. The first time I went there was a man who kept scratching into scarred and bloodied ankles. Whenever I descirbe this to people they think Im lying because it was such a stereotypical horror movie environment. If youre staying there for an extended period then you get fancy rooms, but when youre being evaluated for admittance they put you in the sketchiest rooms ever. Anyway, Im glad you didnt go through with it. Dex is not something you wanna fuck with. You might notice some residual effects over the next few days, especially in relation to your heart/chest. You should be alright, but Id make sure someone around you knows. If you end up having a heart attack, that bit of info could be the deciding factor in whether or not the paramedics/doctors can save you. ', 'Since it would seem that the issue is resolved for the moment, I feel that it might be beneficial to give some advice that might help reduce your chances of being in this situation again: Wait to be in another relationship until you can be happy by yourself. This is common advice among /r/sex and /r/relationshipadvice. If your SO is what you feel to be the major source of your happiness, and you dont feel happy without a SO, then it makes losing them much, much harder. Its Hyperactive behavior trying to stay Wakefulness on coffee. You can definitely try to stave off drowsiness, but eventually youll fall Somnolence and Drug withdrawal syndrome much harder than you wouldve if you just followed a regular Hypersomnia pattern to begin with. You need to be comfortable with yourself before you can be comfortable with someone else. ', 'Did you try going to the real police? The statute of limitations for sexual crimes, at least in New York, can range from five years to no limitation. Pressing charges might help get you that closure, or at least some cash to pay for therapy. ', 'Is there some kind of post that honors those weve lost? I think this guy needs to be added to the list, if there is one. I think its sobering. Helps remind us why we do what we do. If we dont markup our losses someone based on moral reasoning, I get that and apologize. It just feels Hyperactive behavior posts should be together somehow, as some kind of acknowledgement for those who havent been able to hold on in the battle against their ailments. A ""Memorial to the Fallen Soldiers"", if you will. ', 'We do it to people who are offering advice that goes against the subreddit rules, or people who tell us not to try. ', 'Cool. Thanks for the input. When I say professional help, I meant contact information and some kind of review system or a way of recommending therapists that certain people may get along with (it seems to be different for everyone). ', 'Tell people. If only two people celebrate, then thats two more people than wouldve celebrated it before. ', 'Some charity work is a great way to smudge out that misedemeanor charge. The ""reformed criminal"" story is a powerful one, and could even make you stand out more if you include your charity work in an application. As for misdemeanor, do you mind if I ask what you were charged with and where? Many misdemeanors, depending on their severity, are ignored by more forgiving employers. That time you were caught with a dub of weed at 17 probably doesnt Irritable Mood much to employers a few years later. ', 'As far as girls accepting your past, I have pulled some seriously fucked up shit in the past. My current girlfriend has been okay with all of it, or at least the worst of it. Everyone has done shit that they will never be proud of our be able to forget, and the Drug abuse-and-mighty people who wont are people you dont want to be around. Also, you have to understand that you cant control the things you find attractive or sexually exciting. You shouldnt feel guilty for experimenting, especially as a horny-as-fuck teenager. Also, youre a really good person for not doing anything with that 16 year old. A really, *really* good person. You have no idea the kind of damage that could have done, to your life and hers. Be proud of yourself for showing the restraint. Keep in mind that you have an entire life ahead of you to cancel out all of the bad. If you end things now, then youll be leaving with a rather poor legacy that few will remember. If you spend the rest of your life trying to atone, which I think its something you want to do, then start atoning. Find a way to make a difference. Join the Peace Corps. Start working with a charity. Find some way to help fix the world. You want to atone then do it. That said, if you want to atone, you have to admit that some of the things youve done were your fault. They dont make you bad, but they were *your* decision. Your mom didnt make you do these things. Your computer didnt make you do these things. It was you. Now its *your* job to make up for them. ', 'Fun fact: flossing is actually considered more important. Your tongue naturally will rub away plaque (although not as well as a toothbrush), but it cant get between your teeth. ', 'Obamacare made me switch insurance, and my local pharmacy doesnt support our new insurance. I had to switch to CVS and I totally feel your pain. CVS sucks. ', 'You shouldnt rush putting trust into them. Let trust come as it wants to. Just be sure that you arent inhibiting your ability to trust by pushing yourself away once you start getting close to someone. Allow trust to exist, but do not force it.Are these people associated with the people you used to be friends with? Or are these people rather separate? ', '35mg shouldnt do too much damage if youre relatively healthy. I take 50mg a day, so youre covered on that route. Heart palpitations are a normal side effect for people who arent put onto it slowly. Im actually kind surprised your CVS carried dex at all. Its usually a prescription thing. ', 'Alright, my bad. Ill keep it in mind from now on. ', 'Unfortunately, requesting someone to contact you outside of the subreddit is against the subreddit guidelines. However, I am more than glad to help you with your issue here in the comment thread. First is the matter of your girlfriend. Are the both of you still together? If she ignores you when you drink, is it because she thinks you have a drinking problem? Either way, it sounds Hyperactive behavior you can do better. Your significant other is not supposed to turn their back on you when youre facing difficulty. Theyre supposed to be there to help you through it, especially if they perceive it as a problem when you dont. This aspect of your issue may be better dealt with on /r/sex or /r/relationshipadvice, where such issues are common. Second is your family history of Suicide. If this is something that recurs through your family, you may want to try reaching out to any family members who either have Mental Depression and have not tried to kill themselves (note that these people can not help you if there solution was mask their Mental Depression via addictive substances), or to any family members who have attempted Suicide and have since recovered. These people may be able to best help you with what youre dealing with.Lastly, you wanted someone to talk to. While /r/suicidewatch is a great place to do just that, it may be more beneficial to see a therapist or psychologist. Given that your Mental Depression may be genetic, it may also be beneficial to consider a psychiatrist. You especially should consider this if you can not find a suitable family member to talk to.', 'You wanna talk to us about what else is bothering you? This girl cant have been all that great of things just sort of stopped on their own. ', 'It may be worth explaining in your resume. ""To atone for my past mistakes, Ive been visiting AA and have been doing charity work for [cause]. I feel Hyperactive behavior Ive done harm to the world, and its my goal to make up for my past actions."" or you know, something along those lines. You dont necessarily have to believe it, but it makes it more powerful if you have a passion to do something Hyperactive behavior that. You started off saying that you felt Hyperactive behavior youve been dropped to rock bottom. Perhaps on your journey back from rock bottom, you should do it as a sort of atonement. It might give you the sense of purpose that you need to keep going. ', 'Whats your dosage? I only take 10mg tabs, and I only get very vivid dreams occasionally. I imagine youre taking a lot more than I am. Edit: Just realized that it might be a bit rude to ask about your dosage. ', 'Its not so much about finding perspective, but instead about finding excitement. Its about looking forward to being with the people who love you. Life is nothing if you cant find excitement. Make plans. Ensure that tomorrow will be a good day. It makes getting to tomorrow much easier. ', 'Yeah, those subreddits are seriously fucked up. Ignore them. Theyre made by shallow people, for shallow people. They are people whose standards are set ridiculously, unrealistically Drug abuse; standards that they themselves likely can not live up to. Ignore them. Whatever flaws they pointed out are things that no normal and adjusted individual would ever notice. ', 'Are you in AA? If you are, you can have your sponsor as a contact. I believe its actually encouraged, but I suppose it depends on your sponsor. ', 'Attacking is kind of messed up. I know that you said that changing bands wasnt an option, but you should consider it. Leaving on your own terms will make you much happier than leaving on theirs.', '""Do not post generic uplifting or anti-Suicide messages."" It says not to do what youre advocating right there in the sidebar.Pointless positive comments dont help. In fact, theyre exactly the sort of thing that people want to avoid in this subreddit. They want people to hear their issues, because most people dont. They hear ""Suicide"" and the advice they given response is ""Dont be doing that,"" rather than ""Talk to me about it."" This community offers people who want to talk about whats bothering them. Providing the generic ""it gets better"" response doesnt help when it feels Hyperactive behavior everything in your life is falling apart. ', 'Ive been the manager of two bands, and as someone with depression, I feel that Im very careful about trying to let someone down firmly. Its important to realize that a band, or at least a band that plans on going somewhere, is a business. Each member is an employee, and they have to maintain their job performance to maintain their job. That said, a band is also a team. Every member has to be working to help the other. You said that you understand that youre responsible for your performance (which is great, because not fingerpointing shows a lot of maturity). Did you at any point try to tell them that you need their help to pull through? ', 'I can assure you, getting out isnt the answer. Telling me whats bothering you; I guarantee that we can find a different solution if we work together. ', 'Or we can be civil and discuss it, rather than curse each other out Hyperactive behavior thug kids on a playground. ']",Indicator
user-256,"['So presumably no-one else can see them at all.  Oh well.  Fuck this too.', 'If I had a gun Id be dead already.A good shotgun or high-caliber handgun would do the job, and Id do it without hesitation.  Well, I might clean the house first.  Unfortunately I live in a country where guns just arent available, and I wouldnt have Clue One how to go about getting one illicitly, and its basically gotta be that because its quick and relatively certain and the only thing worse than continuing would be continuing after a botched job.I have good days, and bad days, but even on the good days it would be with the utmost relief that Id blow the back of my skull out.  I just dont want to do this anymore.  I dont want to be me anymore.  I can barely function anymore.  Im so fucking tired.I could go and see a doctor, and maybe get some magic pills, I suppose, but it would just be easier to say ""fuck you"" to the entire thing, make a stand and reject it all.  Killing myself would be far, far easier than facing, let alone actually dealing with, any of the bullshit.  This is what I rationally want, after years of consideration.I dont think Im going anywhere, though.  Ive been Hyperactive behavior this continually for many months, or even a year or something, and intermittently for most of my life. Lacking an ideal means of rectifying things Im unlikely to settle for other means, for fear of fucking it up and ending up worse-off than I am.  Ive begun taking steps which could end in the acquisition of a shotgun, but Im not sure yet how it will pan out; its far from being something Im willing to count on.So Im not sure why Im even saying this.  Being suicidal has become just another part of who I am.  But Ive seen this subreddit for a while now and have often thought about saying something.  Theres no help to be had, so theres not much point, but I am drunk and feeling rather good so I just thought Id spray-paint my thoughts (a poor surrogate for brains) on the wall and see what happens; maybe Ill get some interesting feedback.']",Behavior
user-257,"['I know EVERYONE says this, but it truly does get better. everyone has hard times in their life and they build character. We truely wouldnt be living without hardships. I wish you the best of luck and if you want you can PM me. <3', 'Im much younger than you but please, dont kill yourself. You have so many good qualities, why let them go to waste? Sex doesnt matter, you are a beautiful person despite what others think. ', 'I know how it feels to be depressed, but avoiding the chances of things getting better isnt the way to go. Are you in some kind of therapy/counseling? I think you would benefit from it, but i wouldnt recommend doing it if you wont take it seriously. At first I didnt want help, either, but 2 years later and I feel so much better. Feel free to vent more in my inbox or just use to comment. ', 'Im proud of you for getting through college on your own. Youve been through a lot, and I know everyone as their limits (I am most certainly not an exception), but I know you can get through more. If you need a friend, Im here along with other people. Reddit is a large community, and Im sure you could find a friend or partner that lives near you through it. ', 'I know how you feel about being big, im stubby and not the most attractive but I still find myself a little pretty I suppose. I have attempted Suicide and I used to cut. Now that I look back on it I regret every second, because Ill never get that time back. If you want to you can PM me. <3']",Ideation
user-258,"['Im sure that no ones lying to you. A man I know just succeeded in committing Suicide and I can assure you that he was a ghost of himself, consumed by major Mental Depression for months. Everyone cares, and everyone wishes he hadnt done it. I hope you can find a way to carry on, and I hope that if you give it some time you can find healing and happiness in your life. ']",Indicator
user-259,"['Life in general.  It would be so fucking easy to just end it.  Ultimately, it will never happen.  I could never, ever leave my kids.  But after the kids spend a weekend with him, I can see the judgement in their eyes.  It irks me.  Too bad my kids dont know about the the six months he spent in jail when we first separated for threatening to kill me.  Or the following year when he did another six months for violating the restraining order.  Yes, kids, your dad was great and took you places.  But he wasnt paying child support.  I was killing myself to maintain a home.  But I am the asshole.  I did everything I was supposed to do.  I stood up to my abuser.  I stood up for me.  I protected my kids.  Then there was the time when he beat the shit out of his girlfriend (now wife).  He actually broke her eye socket.  Yet they got married this summer.  I say great for them.  And just leave me the fuck alone.  But he still cant get past the fact that I Ventricular Dysfunction, Left him.  He doesnt stop.  New wife, new kid?  Whatever.    Finally got court ordered wage garnishment.  And now he blames me when the kids are at his house for the weekend and he cant afford to take them out.  And he gets madder.  Sometimes I think he is going to kill me - just a matter of time.  So why not take that away from him?  ']",Ideation
user-260,"['Im afraid I have to respectfully disagree. ;) For a start, if you had no value you wouldnt have the job. Secondly you absolutely do have value.Skills are not things we are born with. We learn them. You can always learn skills.', 'Youre right to question this stuff. For now, do your homework so you can pass school and learn stuff then go out into the Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult world where you have more control over your decisions.', 'The classic existentialist problem. Maybe look into some of their writings. Ill be honest and say i dont have an answer. But heres a lame child-Hyperactive behavior analogy. When you build a sand castle you know at the start the tide is going to come in and wash it all away to nothing making it totally futile. Yet still you choose to build one and lovingly craft it and even look forward to it. Why?', 'But the thing is people do love you. If your parents didnt care at all they wouldnt even be putting food on the table. Parents can be very bad at parenting but it doesnt Irritable Mood they dont have feelings.You are only 17. If you only knew how young that is! How much time you have to do things. Whatever youve screwed up, youve barely started. In 10 years everything you think youve messed up noone will care about anyway. Trust me.As you say we are all going to die anyway. Surely you owe it to yourself to stick around a bit longer and see what you can do with yourself. After all you only get one shot. Plenty of time to be dead later. Whats the rush?Everyone has to fail before they can succeed. Its the only way you learn anything. Come on, you are stronger than you think. ;)', 'Monty Python - Dead Parrot: http://youtu.be/4vuW6tQ0218""Four Candles"": http://youtu.be/qu9MptWyCB8', 'Actually you can learn confidence. Sure its harder for some pplespecially after a lifetime of no confidence or setbacks. But its still sth you can learn. Intelligence on the other hand is not sth you can just learn. You luckily have that. With intelligence you can learn charisma. Google how to learn charisma etc youll find theres stuff out there. Remember no baby is born with many of these things; they learn them. If anything Id say we are born naturally confident. We simply unlearn it from bad life experiences. Which implies we can learn it again.', 'That sounds pretty devastating. Can you not return at all (I.e. youve been kicked out permanently) or you can go back in a year? Not a particularly pleasant experience sure, but it gives you a chance to take time out to sort stuff out.I wont try and play things down. Having big setbacks in life is horrible. But it doesnt have to be The End.You are lucky to have such good relationships and people who care about you, and you are obviously a considerate person. Youve at least thought a bit about the impact your death would have by your desire to choose a less Violent method. (Yes, avoid trains.)BTW I Hyperactive behavior your thing with the dieresis on su\xc3\xafcide. Thats cute. Sounds Hyperactive behavior you know a bit about linguistics. Maybe you could go into teaching English one day. You dont necessarily need a college degree.If you have been doing poorly in studies is there a reason perhaps? Spending a bit too much time on the societies. Depression? General lack of motovation? Or do you have an undiagnosed learning disorder? If youre just finding the course too hard maybe you can speak with your tutors to get extra help.Have you confided in your friends and family how distressed youre feeling?', 'Sorry to hear youre in such a lonely situation. :( If you want to cry, cry. Theres no shame in that. Its normal to feel that way when basic emotional needs arent met. Everyone needs a friend. What sort of jobs are you applying for? All that rejection can be soul-destroying so youve done well to persevere despite it. Is there a job agency nearby that can help?. Is it that you have no good friends to turn to or that you have good friends who are too far away? Maybe you can Skype them? Not the same as meeting in person but its something.', 'All of those things can ultimately be fixed except the last one. Dont do it. Even if you want to do it guns are not the way to go. There are much less horrific ways. Not least if you react at the last second and miss. Youd be surprised how often that happens. Survival instinct. Seriously, its not worth it. As i said jobs and friends can be replaced. Faces cant be put back together. Sorry to be so graphic. Take a deep breath. Remember the good things. Sunlight in a forest. Kittens. Smell of a BBQ on a hot day. Feeling sand between your toes on the beach. Things you used to enjoy. That sort of stuff. Remember moods come and go all the time Hyperactive behavior clouds. Never make permanent decisions based on your current mental state which is subject to change.', 'Actually it does make sense. Think youll find a lot of ppl in history have felt similarly. The old ennui, Weltschmerz, etc.Even your random ""what if"" thoughts about Suicide you are not alone in. ', 'Well you havent been fired yet so cross that bridge when it comes pardon the pun. :pYouve done well to get a job so you can probably get another.So maybe ppl around you dont Hyperactive behavior you. But there are a lot of ppl out there who Hyperactive behavior weirdos. And youre clearly smart.', 'Youre right that its not simple. Life is difficult. Change requires work. Growth takes time. Oak trees and biceps dont appear overnight.Feeling Hyperactive behavior you are past the final straw and too burnt out to try again after so many failed attempts I can sympathise with.What I would challenge though is some of your assumptions.""My life is always going to be a cycle of ineptitude, incompteance, and mediorcity...""No matter what has happened in the past I dont think you can preempt the future. Even if you have tried before you cannot say with absolute certainty that things will *never* change.""Everyone seems to have some sense of normalcy in their lives except me.""I dont know who this is referring to. Its certainly not true in my experience. Depends who you are mixing with. Everyone is a strong word.""...it will never change.""See above.Never is a strong word. You can say that if you continue as you are that things are unlikely to change but the only time you can say categorically 100% that things will ""never change"" is if you are dead.On a more macabre note, if you Irritable Mood jumping off bridges in a literal sense please dont. Its painful. But of course wed hope you dont consider any way.Its true that modern society is not as accommodating as it should be to highly sensitive people. But there are ways to channel it. You can also work from home to avoid dealing with people.You strike me as quite young. There is still time to have a new life.', 'Who cares whether its of use to anyone else? If it has value to you then it has value.If youre talking about economic value then thats a different matter. Then its about creating things that have enough value to other ppl that they will pay you for them. You can find what those things are then learn them. Which youre already doing by working. You are providing value to the world, ie some useful service or product, which is why your company pays you. But as for things you care about things have value simly because people ascribe value to them. If you paint a picture you Hyperactive behavior then it has value because you give it value. If someone else doesnt Hyperactive behavior it thats too bad. But it doesnt detract from its value in your eyes. If you enjoy doing something and other people dont who cares? It doesnt make you enjoy it less. Maybe you love camping and everyone else cant stand it. But that doesnt stop you enjoying camping and getting pleasure from it.', 'I know it can be devastating to lose someone who has come to define you. You can find yourself ripped apart. But maybe thats also a chance to reform yourself. Start at the base and rebuild. You dont have to annihilate yourself.If you look at your words youll notice youre pretty ambiguous. You ""think"" you ""might"". Suicide is not the kind of decision for ambiguity, although this is very common. But it is the one decision in life that really demands an ""Im definitely doing this and I know deep down in the depth of my being its absolutely what I want to do"". Because theres no going back. Most of the time we find we are not that determined. That really its not annihilating ourselves were craving but simply to destroy our old lives and start again. As in we confuse wanting to kill ourselves with wanting to kill life itself. It is possible to reconstruct yourself and start over without ending everything.', 'Even if charm and charisma cant ever be learnt or developed, why do you have to kill yourself if you are not successful in developing them? There are plenty of uncharismatic ppl who arent suicidal.You dont have to ooze charisma or be George Clooney to have ppl Hyperactive behavior you. Most ppl do just fine without that. If you want to be the life and soul of the party, sure. A great thing to aspire to, to becone that sociable etc. But few people are anyway. Sounds Hyperactive behavior you have a big focus on value. Finding value which is tied up with finding meaning and purpose. Maybe your challenge is to think about what it is that really motivates you and work to develop sth in that area. This doesnt happen overnight btw. But you can start today. The point of being smart is to use that smartness to develop yourself. Its what you do with it that counts. Just Hyperactive behavior being born with money. If you do nothing useful with it its not that amazing. Try and work out what drives you and how you can make that useful to others.', 'Seriously shes not worth it. No matter how much it hurts, your life is worth far more than any relationship. Hang in there. And there will be other women in future. No woman is ever worth losing your life to.']",Supportive
user-261,"['I dont Hyperactive behavior opiates. They just help take away my mind for a little.', 'I try daily... It just doesnt seem work.', 'I wanted to finish college and get a job with a major tech company. But Ive lost motivation. Why even try now? whats the point.', 'I just take my psychedelics, and when those dont work, I pop xanex, or hydros. I know its not good, but I just cant be sober any more. ', 'Any place I could go, I cant afford to go now. You want my story? I Ventricular Dysfunction, Left my house Depressed mood and poor for college this summer. Me and my girlfriend had broken up over the summer. I really loved this girl. Everyone tells me that it was just puppy love, but thats just bull shit. I would take a bullet for her. If I found out that she was crippled in an accident, I would drop everything just to go take care of her. And now shes getting more and more distant every day. I got up to college, started running with the wrong crowd. They could tell that I wasnt happy. In fact, the thought of killing myself had already been crossing my mind. And not just because of the girl, but Ill get to that later. They had drugs, so I said fuck it. I put the tab under my tongue, and Ventricular Dysfunction, Left this fucking world. I felt happy and free for once. but it was fleeting. I grew up in a really conservative family. I actually got kicked out today. Im living with my brother for the duration of christmas break. But my family always say that they love me, but they do the exact opposite. they give me money occasionally and expect me to be happy. I try to talk to them, and all that ends up happening is arguments and physical altercations. I dont know if i can go back to school next semester, cant even finish paying off the semester i just finished. Everyone treats me Hyperactive behavior Im Abnormal behavior when I reach out. I actually have started to believe that I am Abnormal behavior, missing something in my head. I dont know. As I said, I just want everythhing to stop. Im sorry if this is everywhere. Ive been really scatter brained as of late.', ' I play battlefield 4 a lot,but Ive lost most feel for it. Gaming is boring now, I just do it to keep my mind on something else. Doesnt always work.', 'Being able to provide a future for my girl friend.', 'I know. Ive just lost all care. Honestly, Ive just thought about oding. Such a simple way out. Take a whole bunch of hydros and just go to sleep. simply stop existing. ']",Behavior
user-262,"['Stick around.  I know it sucks.  I know what it is Hyperactive behavior to go through a ton of shit.  Shit, even today, I think my life sucks so bad that I should just check out.  And I am pretty sure I am twice your age (42).  Life throws some pretty Depressed mood stuff at you sometimes.  It fucking sucks.  But you will move on.  Just Hyperactive behavior I will.  And it will make you stronger.  Its okay to be sad.  And pissed.  And want to lash out.  But please dont Chest Pain yourself - because then they win.  PM me if you need an ear.    ']",Supportive
user-263,"['Talking is good. Ive been reading your comments here, they seem pretty helpful :) Sorry youre still having a rough time. Im glad the meds are helping a bit though. And your therapist is right I think, thoughts are just thoughts. Maybe you cant prevent them from coming into your head, but you can work on ignoring them and not giving them the attention they want. This is kind of what mindfulness targets.Stay safe. I Hyperactive behavior your positive paragraph, glad you can see some good :). Id eat some ice cream if I were you.  ', 'Is there anyone in your life you can trust and talk to? Sorry for the late reply. ', 'Thank you! ', 'Sorry. I get what you Irritable Mood by being a burden. I feel the same way. Im sure your friends have reassured you that youre not though. It takes time to get over someone and move on. But you have to give yourself the chance. ', 'Yeah. Its hard. What do you do? I just sleep. Ive been so bored today... I dont have anything to work on or any hobbies or anything Hyperactive behavior that. Cutting would help to fill the boredom. Oh well. ', 'Hey. Thanks for the reply. Im sure they would but Im too scared, I guess I want someone I know. Ill probably call one day... thanks again. ', 'Please eat. Ive done this a few times (not for nearly as long). Not eating is only going to make you feel worse. Have something small, or go out for food. I dont know.Sorry about all the duplicate comments haha... I dont know how that happened. ', 'Happens here too. Sometimes I want to slash myself up but I never do more than a few cuts. I guess its a good thing. Im too scared. ', 'Well I guess Im glad you have to put it off. Please seek help in the meantime. Im sorry I was unhelpful. ', 'Oh. Try to put it off for as long as you can. And good luck with school. Why are you staying so late? ', 'I hope you get one. What kind of job are you looking for? ', 'How about you go and find out? You dont need to tell them youre suicidal unless you want to. If you know it isnt youre Anxiety Mental Depression causing this stuff, tell them that. Help them narrow down what it could be. It seems you want help with your physical health first, because thats what is causing all the rest, and thats fine. You can go to the hospital. Tell them the truth, and get medical help. Maybe they will put you on antidepressants, but they wont ignore your physical ailments. You dont need to be afraid. Im glad youre willing to go to the hospital. Its a good step.  Good luck. ', 'You know, its a good thing youre bad at that. It hurts to have yet another failure, I understand that. But Im glad youre still around. Whats going on? If you want to just chat, Ill talk with you. ', 'This is a pretty good explanation. I always imagine more cuts will give me a better release but by the time I do it, a few is enough. ', 'I dont mind (unless you somehow know me...). Its programming/software development. ', 'No not long at all. Can you talk to your parents about things? Why is she kicking you out after youve helped so much. Sorry things are going poorly. Please eat!', 'What program are you in? Im assuming youre in university/college. ', 'Nice. I would go for a walk, but theyre so boring alone. I should at least give it a shot. ', 'Wow. I think she overstepped her bounds. Having hardly met you... its alright to tell her shes pressuring you. If she really wants to help she should respect that. Im sorry this happened, sounds rough. Let her keep tabs on you, but be honest and tell her youre feeling pressured. ', 'Please dont friend. Well you may have already done it by now... but I hope not. :( I dont know what to tell you. Getting drunk isnt that great. ', 'Thank you! Im glad youre giving it a shot. Mention how youre feeling please. Theyll give you priority!', 'Im not sure. I dont really understand how everyone feels so good after. I guess I mostly feel relieved. Like exhaling a really deep breath. So I Irritable Mood, it feels good. But not Hyperactive behavior a high. ', 'Good luck! Let us know how it goes! ', 'Hey thanks. I hope I did... but I spent no time studying. Why? Because Im an idiot with horrible priorities. And my backlog of homework was too much. ', 'Hey. Pretty much feel the exact same way as you (with the Tylenol and such). Please reach out to someone. Even just a friend. Thats what I did. I hope youre alright.  ', 'I dont think talking about getting over that would even be allowed here. Youre right its possible. But that instinct exists for a reason. I want to kill myself too. My family and my friends missing me has no impact on that for me either.But anyway... Im glad youre still here. It would suck to be forced into therapy, and thats avoidable by either willingly going, or finding another support. What do you Irritable Mood by lying to yourself about lifes problems? Whats gotten you to this point? Im glad you have hope things might change, thats important. Please keep that hope. ', 'Thats good, Im glad to hear back from you.  ', ':s its hard. I dont get it at all. Im doing so much better than a few weeks ago. But I still want to cut. I even dream about it. Its so sucky. I hope youre alright.  ', 'Im sorry. That sucks and sounds Hyperactive behavior a hard situation. Heres the thing: they dont want you gone. Their threat of military school sounds Hyperactive behavior (a really poor attempt) at helping you out. They dont want you gone from the planet, I know that. Im sorry they would preach to you. Maybe you could just mention that you need REAL help, and not from them necessarily but youd appreciate them helping you find it. Military school doesnt sound Hyperactive behavior a good solution, but there are things that can help. I selfharm too, its stupid and sucky and I keep it from my parents. But when youre on the edge you need to try everything first. I dont know. I dont know what you should say to your parents that would help YOU the most. But there has to be something. Maybe for tonight you could just go to the emergency room and say how youre feeling. I dont know if thats possible for you but its an alternative to telling your parents and its a way better option than killing yourself. Please hang in there. No one will be better with you gone. I know how youre feeling, I feel the same way often. But I know deep down its not true. It cant possibly be true. I hope you know that too. ', 'Thanks. I took it throughout school so Id say I know a bunch. Not well enough to speak it (mostly not confident). Anyway, Ill pm you for sure. Today was much better. And it isnt so much being in France, except for the lack of support I suppose. ', 'Sorry, see my other comment. I make sure theyre clean and such. I just dont see the point in doing anything extra. ', 'Its been removed or deleted. But the commenters all said you werent ugly. Im sure theyre right. And the counsellors arent there just to make money. Otherwise why would I be talking to you know. Im not getting paid :) People care. ', 'Hey thanks for the reply. I understand that, but how does my brain know to jump to Depressed mood itself to feel better. I dont even know, my question doesnt make much sense to even me. Basically boils down to WHHHYY', 'Hey, I saw your comment on the other post. Im sorry things are so bad for you right now. What if you just try telling your parents about your struggles? You dont need to lay it all out at once, but please make an attempt. If its too hard to say maybe write it down or email them or something. I know they expect a lot of you, but theyd rather you not meet those expectations than be dead. I also think youre being much harder on yourself than theyd ever be. But youll never know if you dont try talking. Please give it another day. Or even just first make an attempt at letting your parents know. I know it wont make things better. But you have nothing to lose at this point, trying to get help (even by making this post) is worth a shot. I hope youre alright OP. ', 'Why dont you truly need help. ', 'What kind of person does that? Im sorry youve relapsed. Recovery is a long process though. You didnt ruin anything, youre still recovering. Slip ups are part of that. Its alright, just get up again and keep going. ', 'Thank you. ', 'Hey, same thing happens to me. I dont get why people would be my friend, so I ask. Or dont talk to them for a long time. Then they get Anger :( then I think ""we really shouldnt be friends, Im awful"". I dont know the solution. I have no one to talk to either and I feel sad as well. Its good you dont think youll kill yourself, but the thoughts are pretty scary. Sucks man. ', 'Awesome Im glad things went well! And no problem.  ', 'Well, Ill tell you this: youre not a burden. Even if you were, people would prefer you to be alive than dead. Theres nothing you could do where the appropriate response (as punishment or whatever) would be to kill yourself. Im sorry things arent working out right now. Anything specific? Why do you feel Hyperactive behavior a burden exactly? By the way, I feel Hyperactive behavior a burden too. But feelings arent facts. ', 'Sounds Hyperactive behavior fun. I hope things are looking up from this morning. ', 'Congrats sj. Good luck! What degree this time? ', 'Hey, whats going on?', 'Asking stuff Hyperactive behavior this is against the rules. If you really want to know you can find out other places. But I highly recommend against it. Its a bad habit to start and really hard to stop. Please talk to someone about it instead of doing it. That usually helps me. Cutting doesnt solve anything. It makes things worse. ', 'Exactly. Hard not to talk about it when its on my mind nearly always. Thank you.  ', 'Im from Canada. ', 'Im so glad. Thank you for making the call, great job. ', 'That really sucks. Im sorry, youre not worthless though. And if you really werent worth her time: thats on her, not you. Theres nothing wrong with you. Do you have any hobbies? ', 'Hey man. I have spotty coverage right now so I probably wont be able to reply for awhile. Help is coming, please stick around. I know you said you dont have anybody, but please try to reach out. Go to the doctor or hospital. Theyll find you help. From there you can piece things together and get to a point where you want to live. If youre sure about your decision, at least before you go, could you give a little more details about your situation? Just to chat. Im sure others will comment here soon too.', 'Well Ive been eating a lot of chocolate if that counts. I dont know. It is something to be wary of, you dont want to replace one bad habit with another. ', 'Like I said, it takes time. Maybe even a long time. Dont beat yourself up. Im sorry she moved on so fast. Dont let her actions decide whether youre loved or wanted. Things didnt work out with her, but you are still loved. You are still wanted. And the time you spent with her wasnt a waste. It isnt fair I agree, its hard and stupid. But you can do it. Youve made it from January to now, you can keep going. ', 'Well... seems Hyperactive behavior a bad meal if you ask me. Whats up? Whats gotten you to this point? ', 'Nice, sounds fun! Good luck with it all. Whats school psychology? ', 'Hey, I have a similar thing. I imagine things that I want to create by painting or drawing or whatever. But Im horrible at all art... I have the ideas but not the skill (or patience to learn). You can still create things though! I enjoy programming and try to use that to build/contribute what I Hyperactive behavior to pretend is art. Anyway, theres probably something Hyperactive behavior that for you too. I dont have any advice sadly, but theres no such thing as a worthwhile life. (in the sense that some are more valuable or worth more than others.) whatever you do or can do is enough. ', 'Oh. Thats what I thought :/ caring for them Hyperactive behavior that though is too expensive/hard. Especially if they hardly bleed. ', 'Yeah, I know what you Irritable Mood. I told a friend awhile back that I wish she could see herself how I saw her. And that I wish I could see myself how everyone else saw me. It sucks that its much easier to see the good in others, but I guess it shows youre caring. I know its hard, but looking out for yourself is really important. How many do you have? What are Hyperactive behavior to have as pets? And honestly, that sounds Hyperactive behavior a good reason not to kill yourself. Stick around for their sake, and keep trying with everything else. I dont have any pets but from what I hear they make good companions. They need you, and you probably need them. Are you getting any help with how youre feeling? Have you talked to anyone (besides the internet)?', '2 years ago I decided the same thing. No idea why I chose 25... no strings attached either, I Im almost certain Ill end up killing myself by then. I also feel fine right now, I dont know. Ill probably never mention it to any professional myself. It would probably be a good idea to though. So I suppose the same applies for you. I Hyperactive behavior what /u/ruthluss said, its an unresolved issue even though youre feeling okay right now. I know for me its unresolved. I dont have any advice sadly, but I think I know exactly how you feel. I hope I dont kill myself before 25, but as happy as I am right now I cant imagine living more than 5 years more. I just dont want to. ', 'Im sorry. I hope youre still around, please keep trying. Make one last attempt at getting help. Everyone has treated you very poorly, thats not your fault. You dont need to die because of how youve been treated. ', 'Hey, hows it going? I saw you posting to help others out, great job. When is your appointment? Im sorry youre having such a hard time, but Ive noticed you can see the good in small things. Which is helpful. Yeah getting better immediately wont happen, but you are strong enough to get better slowly. Im glad you have your family to keep you here. I know you wish you could just die, but sticking around is a good thing, and you have a good reason to: a family that loves and needs you. ', 'Youre going through a rough time. But I know you can push through it! Im sorry you lost her. Have you talked since? You are not nothing. You were important and valuable before you met her. You are after shes gone. ', 'Oh man. Im so sorry :( 19 days sounds dangerous... whether you talk to your parents or someone else, please get help. Im sorry your mom is kicking you out. Im sure if she knew your condition (and the fact youre starving yourself) shed reconsider. ', 'Im here for a year for an internship. Are you in France? ', 'So... why are you doing this? What would get you to eat? Dont you think 5 days is long enough?', 'Wow. Same here. Its just an impossible cycle. I get up motivation to do something, then I cant because its too overwhelming. So I hate myself for failing. Then I hate myself more for not trying etc. ', 'You seem likeable to me. I know youre not crazy, and Im sorry they tried to lock you up. I dont know what to suggest to you... Im really sorry everything is going how it is for you. Why not try writing something now? Doesnt need to be big or major. I dont know. Im sorry ', 'Its alright. Thanks for the reply. Im feeling pretty good right now so Im not going to address what you said really... but Im the only one pressuring me. Thanks again. ', 'Hey. Its alright, Im doing a bit better now. ', 'Against the rules. What about parents or friends? The school counsellor? Im sorry you dont have anyone to talk to. Whats gotten you wanting to cut? ', ':( feel the same way. I do it to bleed and for the scars. I dont even do it when Im upset anymore. I wish I understood. Why do you want to feel pain?', 'Im not exactly trying to stop... I think it just makes me ugly/worthless so Im trying to avoid it. Wanting to do it and trying not to is so upsetting though... Thats all Ive done today, avoided cutting. I wish the day was over already. I wish I was asleep. I have too many wishes.  ', 'Last time you posted here you said it was helpful. I hope posting again can be just as helpful. Whats going on? Edit: everything you said in this post about the rest of us applies to you too! I read through your post history, you gave others helpful advice. You told them the reasons they have to live and how much theyre worth. All of these things apply to you as well. I saw you have pet rats, whats that Hyperactive behavior? Sounds Hyperactive behavior a fun pet to have. ', 'Hi. Call 911 or something equivalent. Or get yourself to the hospital. You clearly dont want to do this, please take the steps to help yourself. I hope youre alright. ', 'If youre confused, reaching out here was a good decision. And people here are here to help you out. What did you take? I hope its not fatal. Would probably be Elevated mood to talk about things in the meantime anyway. So, whats up?', 'Sorry. I guess I didnt explain well. I dont know. Im too lazy to or I feel Hyperactive behavior it doesnt really deserve/need any attention besides making sure it isnt bleeding. Bandaids work fine. ', 'Hi welcome back. Honestly youre not ugly at all... Thats the 100% truth. You could find a girlfriend who looked Hyperactive behavior whatever you wanted. But its probably more important to find someone you Hyperactive behavior. Being confident would help, because heres another truth: you arent talentless. You deserve to see yourself better. I hope you can. Theres nothing wrong with you, and your English is great. Im sorry you feel so bad. I dont know what else to say. Im not lying to make you feel better. Im telling you the full truth because you need to hear it. You look fine. You are talented. And youre valuable. ', 'Hey, good luck! Whats it on? For me, as long as I feel good going into the test Im alright with whatever grade. Being prepared helps but so does attitude. Be confident! And good luck studying. ', 'I dont know. Not really. And no, I cant really speak it at all. Not from Quebec (I wish I was). Part of why I came here was to learn French. Thanks for the replies, Im heading to bed now. ', 'No its not a fun way to live at all. But hey, keep banging on the wall! I dont know, giving up seems so easy and Hyperactive behavior the better choice right now. But fighting issue the brave, strong choice. And I knows youre strong enough to. So please keep at it. Youve been well before Im sure. You can be well again. I dont want to say ""theres no point in killing yourself"" because it sounds Irritable Mood. And Id hate to hear it. But really, pushing on CAN be so much more rewarding. I dont know if it will be. I dont know if it will be for myself... but how about we find out?', 'Hey, Im so glad to hear this. I hope things went well! Good luck. ', 'What does gaping Irritable Mood exactly? ', 'You deleted that post, but from the comments I can see youre not ugly. I dont want to give you life advice and say be confident, because thats easier said than done. Your issue isnt being ugly though. Please reach out and get some help. Have you seen someone for your Anxiety Mental Depression and Mental Depression? ', 'They can theoretically. But they wont. Its alright though, dont worry. Not to talk about OP behind her/his back butIm sure they called (if they didnt they would have just stopped posting).I hope youre alright Kayce. Get back to use when you can.   ', 'Hello /u/addicted7, I was just thinking about you earlier this week. Sucks about the cutting :( have things been better for you though? I Irritable Mood since your last post on reddit, things seemed pretty rough. Stay safe please, and dont stop getting help. Being afraid of getting locked up is reasonable, but you have to look out for yourself. And do whats best for you (which sadly might be against what you want). Anyway, good luck. ', 'I know exactly what you Irritable Mood... Ive been late a lot the past two weeks. I feel Hyperactive behavior cutting while at school so often, but I always try to just put it off until Im home. Which helps me Sedated state down a bit by giving it time. ', 'Doesnt sound dumb at all. I think that every weekend. I dont really have advice. What helps me is having someone to force me to get things done. I dont literally force... but you know, someone who makes sure I get it done. And helps me along the way with reminders or whatever. Try breaking things down into smaller, manageable problems. Finally, dont kill yourself if you dont finish your homework. I hope that doesnt sound too harsh, because I dont Irritable Mood it to be. Really whats the worst thing that could happen if you didnt finish your work? I am 100% sure it isnt as bad as dying. The other persons comment is probably more helpful. I guess my main point is I can relate. But I know you can continue through this Ache. Feeling Hyperactive behavior this no matter what your reason is fine, theres not a list of good reasons and bad reasons. It sucks you feel Hyperactive behavior this, and I hope you feel better. Are you getting any professional help? ', 'I didnt exactly have any realisations sadly. Just went to the hospital for a few days and at least for now Im feeling better. It would text you but last time I did that I wasted $30. PM me and Ill send you my email. ', 'Oh man. I took a class on that last semester and dropped it because... well I blame the prof. I actually just finished one on compiler construction :s I hope I did well, Hyperactive behavior I said I was confident going in. My next one on Wednesday. ', 'I feel the exact same way man. I dont know what to tell you. This life is much too hard and unfair. Literally all we can do is suck it up and continue. I dont know why. Youre not as bad as you think, I promise you that. Im sorry you feel Hyperactive behavior this. /u/cameroncac is right, you (and myself as well) have to push through. :( ', 'Good plan with programming. Python and C are my favourite languages. My next one is Tuesday :/', 'Hey, how did the test go? Im sure you did great', 'Hey... please stick around. Youve been fighting so hard. You CAN keep doing that. I believe in you. Talk to someone before you do anything. Im sorry. ', 'Hey Emily, whats up? Im sorry things have been so hard. Im glad you posted though and I hope the people here can help. Whats on your mind? Youre not a joke to me. ', 'Why? Im sure you could get something set up even for today. Youre in college, they probably have free walkin counselling services there. That would be a good start. ', 'Dont be so hard on yourself please. Like I said, theres nothing wrong with you. I dont know why she broke up with you, but thats her mistake. You can continue life and pick things back up again even without her. When did you drop out?', 'Software Engineering then two more compsci ones. I Hyperactive behavior programming. Im good at it. But this semester is going horribly wrong. I wish I could stop my downward spiral. ', 'No problem, keep at it! ', 'You know your grade already? Sorry :( hope you still pass the course. ', 'Thank you for the reply. Youre right about things, its just I really dont know what the issue is. I cant deal with life. And when the smallest thing goes wrong I let it really upset me. Its usually school related things, I feel Hyperactive behavior a failure for not completing what I know I can. ', 'I dont know why I do. I guess to cope, it helps me Sedated state down when Im feeling overwhelmed (which was pretty much always until recently). I also do it to feel in control, because when I do it, no one else can stop me and I guess feeling powerful over myself is comforting. And I sort of see it as a minisuicide. I cant kill myself but at least I can Chest Pain myself. Also I kind of Hyperactive behavior how it looks. ', 'Hey, sorry. I didnt Irritable Mood it Hyperactive behavior that. All I was trying to say was how you see yourself might not be true. All those things you listed are facts. I really didnt Irritable Mood to sound rude or presumptuous. You dont need to say anything nice, its fine. ', 'Yeah. It sucks, hope youre doing alright. ', 'Please call. If you cant do it, maybe someone here can for you (not sure if thats allowed...). Or text someone you know and ask them to call. Please. Im sorry this is so hard. ', 'No its fine. I talked with her. I know she doesnt view me poorly or anything. I just dont want to Anxiety her or upset her but thats all I can manage doing with pretty much anyone. I wish she never saw is all. I dont mind her knowing because shes nice about it, but her seeing the razors made it more real. Thanks for the reply. ', 'Yes. I dont understand it at all. Be safe. ', 'I read your other submissions. I dont know why people downvoted them and disliked them. I thought they were interesting and well written. Maybe you should start a blog, just post what youre thinking where no one can downvote it. I thought your posts about MW3 and Zelda-CDi were great by the way. I 100% agree with what you said. Yeah Zelda-CDi has been talked to death, but its still fun to mock! I suck at MW3 and its so frustrating because when playing you dont get much time to get better before dying. I still love it though (best CoD game IMO). Also your post about the Easter flame thing was pretty informative, Ive never heard about it before. I dont think its ever been posted on /r/christianity even, Ive been going there daily for the past 3 years. Anyway, talk about your problems to a counsellor. Be honest because it really helps. I care about your dumb history facts and your life. Im sorry you feel ashamed :( I hope you feel better soon. Youre not failing at everything. ', 'Hi. Ive been reading your posts and Im so glad youre getting help and were able to be honest with your husband. Its great he is so supportive, I hope things go well. You can do this, just take it one step at a time. ', 'Woah, that sucks. Please go back! Easy job to get if your boss really liked you. I hope you can do it. ', ':( that sucks. What about tomorrow? Do you think you could hold out for one more day? And give getting help a chance. Please. ', 'Good insight, I see what you Irritable Mood with our subconscious knowing it will produce an endorphin rush. Thanks for the long reply, I appreciate it. Wonder if theres been any research into this kind of explanation. Ill try to dig something up. Thank you again!', 'Heres my thoughts: some of the more complicated or longer posts here never get replies because people arent sure what to say. Honestly Im usually too lazy to type out what Im thinking... if I could talk with people here Id say a lot more. Anyway...Im sorry people have ignored your posts. I care that you Chest Pain yourself. And I appreciate you giving people advice. I dont know what to say, and I think thats the main thing. People dont know what to say. Some things are easier in person. Stay safe. I hope writing this post helped you out a bit. I know ranting helps me. ', 'Hey. I feel similar. I dont know. It doesnt make sense. Maybe its life even-ing up the cards. I really dont know. Its stupid and messed up and sucks. I dont have any advice, but dont trivialise how youre feeling. Even if you think you have no reason. Who cares? I dont think Suicide or selfharm is ever really reasonable. One doesnt need a reason to be depressed. Its not a choice and just happens. Im sorry if this isnt helpful. Random thoughts. ', 'Yeah seems Hyperactive behavior a Suicide note... I hope he didnt go through with it and you get in contact with him. Im sorry. ', 'Whats up? Anything you want to talk about? Im sorry youre at this point, and I cant imagine the Ache youre in. ', 'Well throwing up is probably a good thing. You need to get help though, please call 911. You can do it, and it will help. I know its scary and you dont want to go, but Hyperactive behavior the other person said, you posted here for a reason. You want to stick around. I want you to. Please call. ', 'Hi. Im glad you posted here. How did your appointment with the T go?', 'Take a deep breath. Its alright. Youre almost to your appointment! Youre doing great getting this far. It doesnt make you a pansy to be afraid to kill yourself. It makes you brave. Fighting through when everything screams for you to do it is very brave and courageous. Im glad youre bad at killing yourself :) you wouldnt be around talking to me if you werent. Im sorry, please keep trying. Take it a day at a time. Or an hour. You can do it. Its alright to be nervous, I completely understand. But you can fight through that. I know you can. ']",Supportive
user-264,"['Oh dear. Man that really sucks. Hmm. Im pretty new at this whole ""helping people"" thing. One of my first posts here, really not sure if I should offer advice or empathy. Bit of both, perhaps?I dont know about being a writer, never been very artistic. But Id imagine just writing would help, right? You know, just put shit down on paper, and if youre inner critic is that bad, just dont look at it? As for the jobs. Well what type of job have you been searching for? Sounds Hyperactive behavior a bit of minimum wage conventional jobs and some highly skilled writing jobs.', 'Okay, thats cool. I think its really awesome that youre going out and trying new things, ya know get out of your shell, meet new people. Wish I could go to, but alas Im not quite 21, half a country away, and have prior obligationsI was just asking you not to stake everything on tomorrow. Go out, have fun. Please dont do anything too stupid? ', 'Hey if you cant go with that other dude in the thread, or to Colorado or whatever. I have a PC and a WiiU so if you want to play a game online thatd be cool.', 'No. You have a good point. There are seven billion people in this world. We, you and me, were nothing compared to the whole. But have you tried looking at it this way, theres 7 billion people on this world and only a few hundred make any real impact. The rest of us are Ventricular Dysfunction, Left to figure out our own place in this world. Man, I know it sucks to have your own perceptions turn against you. Its happened a few times to me and theres nothing I fear more, but hell. Disorders? Hell they suck but they Irritable Mood that your problems are /legitimate/.I cant offer you much. But hey. Ill be your support, Ill talk to you. Just shoot me a PM. In the meantime though? Well if youre up to it, if you can. Maybe think about trying and getting out, meeting people? Sure most people might be self interested, but I believe youll find a person or two to be a support net. ', 'Sorry, was Exhaustion yesterday and had to go to bed. Its pretty cool you managed to send a few applications.', 'Hey man. Im sorry to hear that youre not feeling so well. It seems Hyperactive behavior youre feeling really isolated and alone, has it always been Hyperactive behavior this for you? You seem so fed up with the world, with people, but Im not sure which one youre more fed up with. With those around you, or with the broader concept of companionship?I cant really promise you anything, but know that if you need to talk to someone you can just shoot me a PM. Im not anyone special, not a counselor or professional or anything Hyperactive behavior that, but if you want to just... talk. Im here.', 'Hey man, how are you.', 'Hey, I dont know much. Im going to try to talk though, okay?It sounds Hyperactive behavior youre tired? Upset at the breakup and how its Chest Pain you. It sounds Hyperactive behavior you want to have one last shot at feeling good. Have you thought about waiting? Not on the Pismo Beach, but on staking so much in it. Theres a lot at Pismo Beach, but its not everything, its only a few dozen square miles in this massive massive world. ', 'Hey, I know its easy to feel hopeless when things are looking down, have been looking down. It probably seems Hyperactive behavior a lot of things are pushing down on you right now, but may I ask whats bugging you the most? The job search, your old job, that you dont want to talk to your girlfriend?', 'Ha. Cool. I didnt Irritable Mood swimming in specific (although that would be cool), just offering anecdotal evidence about how a few basic certs might really help your job search. Yeah, keeping reading at least a bit seems Hyperactive behavior it would help a lot. Maybe try writing a bit on the web? You know, /r/writingprompts or do some web-fiction. Might not be making a living off of it, might not be making money. But Id imagine validation would be useful, right? Anyways. I need to go to bed. Ill check this again tomorrow. Im just a two-bit moron, but if you ever need anyone to just talk to go ahead and shoot me a PM. Ill try to answer ASAP.', 'Hmm. Well lets see. Writing might be a Ache in the ass right now, but I dont know, is writing the only way you keep your creative juices flowing? I know youre a Creative Writing major so youve probably had to read a LOT. So I dont know if this is something youve thought about before. But perhaps until you find  yourself in a better position you could Anxiety less about writing, and more about reading?As for jobs. Well, youve been looking for shit minimum wage jobs and then professional skilled labor jobs. Have you thought about looking for anything in between? You know as a stop gap measure? Something that would require a cert that takes a weeks worth of training and a hundred dollars? Seems Hyperactive behavior most of them would be way less sucky than something at the very bottom rungs of retail or food. I work as a swim instructor at a YMCA and were desperate to hire anyone who has a WSI cert. I would imagine a lot of places are similar. ', 'Ha never thought Id be offering words of wisdom. Hey if you ever need someone to talk to you can just shoot me a PM. Im no professional or anything, but it might help just to talk right?', 'I know its easy to believe that people as a whole are awful. And hell you might be right. But its easier to destroy than create, and yet somehow, after all these years we as a human race have managed to build something. A global society thats, well, thats just a little bit better than what came before. Doesnt that speak to something? Man, I see why you wouldnt want to be part of the equation anymore, what with all the shit that is going around right now (not arguing that it isnt). But have you thought about how big this equation is? Its massive, 7 billion strong, and thats just us humans. Have you thought that you could surround yourself with the better elements of that equation, be one of them?', 'Hmm. You feel youre stuck trying to make money at shit jobs while looking for a writing job you actually Hyperactive behavior. However the shit jobs are wearing down and destroying all youre creative energy in the meantime.Is that an accurate assessment?']",Indicator
user-265,"['Thanks for the reply, I used to be pretty good at finding distractions but lately all I can do is Anxiety about everything. I have to grow up and get a job, start a career, move out, all the things that functioning adults do every day just give me massive anxiety. All the distractions and thoughts all just end at the same place. Complete hopelessness for future. ', 'I get what youre saying, but going by most peoples idea of pathetic, I am pathetic. It just feels Hyperactive behavior I would be delusional to think that there is anything I should be proud of. I appreciate your response though.  ', 'Thats basically what Ive been doing for the last 5 years or so. I manage to distract myself for a few months, get my hopes up that if I can just do x,y,z Ill be alright. I always end up in the same place though. So I guess I would say I can relate. >good programmerare you talking about Hyperactive behavior a computer programmer? ', 'I dont see anyone for SA, I went to a dr. a few years ago but I just ended up feeling embarrassed and never actually saw a psychologist. I dont hate myself for being gay anymore than the fact that I hate myself for being a complete failure. Its just another thing that makes me feel abnormal. Your whole Hyperactive behavior is geared up to be straight, its just expected. A guy and a girl walk by holding hands and nobody thinks anything of it, two guys and everyone stares, and some people have to make their comments. There are probably thousands of people that hate me for being gay and they dont even know I exist. Its just another thing that I wish I didnt have to deal with. I dont know what Im going to do for school. I dont inherently dislike school. I enjoy learning, its one of the few things that I Hyperactive behavior in life, the little moment when you learn something new or finally understand something difficult. But now I feel Hyperactive behavior Im so far behind. I spent so many years just ""getting by"" and now its all caught up with me. That and the constant little mistakes I make on assignments and tests. Switching signs in math problems, losing pieces of problems. Thinking too quickly and making stupid little mistakes. Then the professor rips my tests to shreds because I screw up one tiny piece of a problem and of course the whole problem is therefore wrong. Its so frustrating. Thanks for reading and the reply, Im glad youre getting your life back on track.    ', 'I dont want to be pissed off, I just want to be normal. An average guy with an average life. My life circumstances dont really permit a move to Uruguay. Mother Teresa also helped people, not sit in her room all day doing basically nothing. Killing myself wouldnt solve any problems, the problems just wouldnt exist, and it a way my problems would move to my family. The only one I really care about it my mom and her life is stressful enough. Thats the only reason. ', 'Never tried antidepressants, only thing Ive done is adderall and that was a few years ago. ', 'That sounds cool. Learning multiple programming languages has to count for something, probably doesnt seem Hyperactive behavior much considering youre not making a decent living with it, but it is something. I tried to teach myself python, or at least familiarize myself with it but it just seemed so foreign to me. And of course I didnt stick with it... Is there any specific reason you dropped out of college? ', 'I felt the same way when I dropped out the first time, and I feel the same way now. I didnt have roommates (I lived/still live with my parents). I hate being around people too. Maybe thats why I Hyperactive behavior computers so much, that and dogs. Maybe you could look at https://www.coursera.org/ Its free, all you have to do is make a username. Its Hyperactive behavior free online college courses. They have a lot of stuff about computers and computer science. Maybe youve heard of it. I dont think you dont get any actual credit though. Im planning on taking a python course that starts on oct. 7 I think. Im going to try to go to sleep. I hope we both find some more distractions, or better yet something more than just a distraction. Ill check this later if you want to reply. Good luck man, I hope everything ends up working out for the best. ', 'Thats something that I wanted to do. Im going back to school right now, although I doubt I will even pass calc this semester so the hope of being doing something in computers is probably a waste of time. I read your reply to unitn8, did you teach yourself C and C++ or did you learn in a class or something? What did you want to do in computers? That may be a stupid question idk exactly what all you can do as a programmer, Hyperactive behavior apps? games? software? ']",Indicator
user-266,['I completely understand how you feel.  Ive had moments of happiness but its mostly this dark overwhelming sadness I cant shake.  I dont know what the answer is.  I keep hearing medication helps but Hyperactive behavior you I did that in my teens and saw no positive changes.  Im trying to just fill my time and see if anything ever changes.'],Indicator
user-267,"['Ive played Wow a lot and other games Hyperactive behavior kerbal. I dont play them that much anymore and I havent played the more realistic first person shooters. Mainly it just passes the time.I listen to twitch in order just to hear talking, plus the guy is playing Mario games and such. He talks and responds and I can even comment in the chat. It is the closest Ive had to a friend in years.', 'I wish that good things would happen. I Irritable Mood it isnt Hyperactive behavior I have real problems Hyperactive behavior many on hear who have been raped or beaten. I just dont seem to be able to be human. I see normal people even Depressed mood people hold jobs, friends, relationships. I looked up old classmates and they are all getting married and many have careers. Looking back and seeing the last 26 years get worse Im not sure that the next 10 are going to get better. Im just so alone and a failure, the mere thought of living 60 years makes me want to kill myself faster.', 'That is why I said unless they have a real effective solution. If I tell my therapist they will likely say the usual ""just hang in there."" Im Nausea in Exhaustion of waiting. Im Nausea and Exhaustion of improvements that are always on there way and never materialize. Ive been told that life gets better for so long. Well it is time for it to finally happen.I posted in the desperate hope that there is something that I missed, something to make a a decent human, but there appears to be not. Thanks for your time on me.', 'Sorry for being so argumentative. Another one of my numerous flaws.', 'I have cats and while they are nice it is not Hyperactive behavior I can hold a conversation with them. They are the ones that have to hear me talk to myself.', 'Oh sure I know why it happens it just sucks as a poster when it does especially you need more than a couple hour pick me up. Then again it is selfish of me to ask or expect more. Ill just hug a pillow again tonight. Sometimes when my iPad gets warm during use, I just lay and hug it.', 'Unless they have a real effective solution, I dont want them to stop me. ', '> and am probably much more of a loser than you could ever be. HAHA want to bet. :)I really do suck. The fact that I dont have fiends or never having a date is a sign of who I am. So at this point in time Im Hyperactive behavior permanently fucked up and even if I slightly improve and start really trying to make friends people will wonder what is so wrong with me to be so alone and behind. High schoolers are better than me, there is noway I can compete with actual adults. They will simply find someone better, which compared to me is really easy.', 'The thing is though that I dont want him to stop me. At least here Im able to see the reasoning beforehand and I decide to live in misery or not. If I tell my therapist then I have to live in misery. And telling people Im suicidal has always backfired. Now they mention that they Anxiety about me and will give me looks when I say certain things.What good would a contract do? Once my therapist realizes how suicidal I am Ill be locked up for days on end, permanently marked on records that will show up to government employees. Pills havent worked outside of these ""hospitals"" why would they work inside one?I dont want to live in misery anymore and telling my therapist will continue to insure that. That is why I came here looking for something, anything, that has at least a chance of turning my life around over the next 6 months to a year. If not, Im done living in misery and Im going to end it. One way or another I am going to improve.', 'They know that I am suicidal I am just not telling them about the Suicide for next month. What good would it do to tell them?  I just downplay the severity. I dont even know how many meds Ive tried, and my appointments are typically 6 weeks a part. Though he is currently booked for close to three months. Pills never have really worked for me but Im glad to hear that they are working for you. I wasnt a good worker at my first job until it closed. At my second job for a family friend I became ill. My stomach would get upset and my eye would twitch. I just was always so nervous. If you want to talk Im open. ', 'Sadly in the end I think that is all that this place can offer. The worst is how after about 6-12 hours at most people stop writing or commentating. Within hours you are forgotten. That is just the way life is for people Hyperactive behavior us.', 'Classic rock, Metallica, Disturbed, orchestra. Im not too picky.', 'Oh it certainly is my fault, it is no one elses. There are three outcomes; it continues to get worse, it somehow miraculously gets better, or I kill myself and end the suffering. It is that third choice that looks the good. It is far better than choice one and more likely than choice two. Yes Ill die a fat, ugly, friendless, virgin. But who cares, Ill be dead.I wish for the best for you as well.', 'They know about my Mental Depression just not the severity. Too much of a risk to tell them how serious I am. So yes I lie to them. They know Im suicidal why tell them how serious I am and have a plan and the tools to do it. What good would that do?', 'Thanks for writing. I just feel Hyperactive behavior Im just getting to Exhaustion to keep trying. Im Exhaustion all the time. And the story you told involves a lot of maybes. I wish I had all that Hyperactive behavior 10 years ago. When I weigh all the things I have to do to be even to people I just dont see me reaching it. Death will provide me with the relief I so desperately crave.', 'No it is cool, thank you for writing. Not to be rude but while all those things are normal for teenagers for someone my age it is embarrassing. Im suppose to be way more developed than this and it is expected of me. The number of people who havent even been on one date this far in life must be in the fractions of a percent. It also says something about me. People move forward in life and I just fall further and further behind. I see the list I have to do to just start to become an equal and I just cannot seem to find the energy or courage. Killing myself will bring me the relief that I so desperately crave and need.I dont know your situation but the one piece of advice I have is to not be Hyperactive behavior me.', 'To put simply, Im just a failure. I fail to make friends, I fail at starting and likely keeping relationships, I failed at work, I failed at school, I failed at learning how to drive. Im a mouth breather, I cannot write well, no artistic ability of any sort, and Im grossly obese.I cant compete with normal adults. Even among the Depressed mood and Anxiety Im the lowest of the low. I looked up my classmates and they are getting married and starting careers.What is my accomplishment, I ate yogurt? Every day I fall more and more behind and the odds of things improve diminish day by day. I just fail to function as a human and Im correcting the problem the only way that seems to be available.', 'Im taking an MAOI right now. I have not been given any benzos. Even without the physical symptoms I still would have the mental.', 'Atheist. But Im not part of any atheist group or anything.', 'Im not sure there is anything that can be done. Im just desperately looking to see if there is. I feel Hyperactive behavior maybe therapy and pills work for some but they were never designed to work for someone Hyperactive behavior me. People here have value. Many of them have jobs are/were in relationships and have friends. I dont even have what can be called acquaintances for Hyperactive behavior 7-8 years. Never dated though who can blame anyone for that. And Im just overall grossly incompetent.Im always going to be alone and bad, it just is who I am and always have been. I wished for Suicide since I was a little kid. Im just not made right and I just wish that somewhere there was hope for people Hyperactive behavior me, but there seems to be not.', 'I have my parents but other than that I have nobody. Zero. Not even acquaintances for close to ten years. I dont even know what people my age group do. I feel Hyperactive behavior an alien study a culture, I just watch other people hang out and have fun. Ive never been invited out ever. Even in Drug abuse school they just let me eat lunch with them, other than that they would meetup but not tell me. I talk to myself for hours and hours every day, I play videos or twitch just to create the allusion that there are other people. ', 'The issue with that is that it leaves me completely alone. The last time I had anything close to friends was in Drug abuse school. There are expectations in life and when you fail to meet them then people get worried and want little to do with you. Plus I lack the ability to connect to people as they live in a totally different world compared to me. It leaves me alone and the Sad mood has just eaten me alive.', 'I can write responses, but my grammar is pretty bad and I was more referring to writing Hyperactive behavior stories and stuff.I havent told my therapist because 1) Theyll lock me up 2) They wont really have any helpful advice.3) It will be held against me, where everything I said is made suspect.I answered elsewhere but Im going to hang myself.I really do need to focus on my diet but I just seem to have no energy and food is one of the good things I have. Plus I just cannot seem to care with me killing in a month anyways. I do already walk over a mile around 5 times a week.I took a programming class years ago but I never learned python.I Irritable Mood a real person in that I dont compare to my peers. I understand that they are going to show there positives online but their positives are by far better than me. They have pictures of parties and hanging out with friends. Marriages and hanging out with their SOs. And their careers.Who would want to be a friend to someone Hyperactive behavior me or god forbid start a relationship? I am so much lesser than other people. People want someone to be an equal with not someone 15 years behind. ', '>There is no reddit comment that can fix your life. I realize that there never really was much hope. Just a fools hope. But it is all I have to reach for. Everything else has failed. I cannot tell my therapist about me because of the power dynamic at play. There is a difference between saying Im suicidal and buying the rope and already picking out the beam to hang yourself by. Telling my parents has been a mistake telling them would likely backfire as well. There are two choices, I either get a solution to get significantly better over the next several months or I kill myself. They havent helped me so far, why should I expect anything different? They know Im suicidal I just lie about the severity.', 'What daily tasks?']",Behavior
user-268,"['Thats a when, is there a detailed why? Can you give an analysis why you think these things?Im interested in hearing you out on this man.', 'Shit yeah man. I as never into Mt:G. But I did play L5R for a bit. Mt:G was too much bean counting for me.Play any rpgs?', 'Just wanted to second the foundation thing. I am a Genital Diseases, Male that has had Acne very long term. Ive had a small bottle of liquid foundation picked for me by an ex for so long. It really helps those red marks look Hyperactive behavior they are way further along the healing path than they really are. Use the back of your Ache wrists to pick the color. If you use just a couple of drops it can make a world of difference and nobody knows.When you DO get to talk to a dermatologist, mention you want to look into [Isotretinoin](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isotretinoin)  it is a god damn poison but it cleared me up near instantly on half dose, twice. It gave me a mental relief Hyperactive behavior you wouldnt believe, dont kill yourself save up for this shit, and get some solace.', 'Things are  going to be tough moving forward, but every day less so with regards to your mantroubles.  Its sort of Hyperactive behavior you just experienced the end of Schizophrenia, Childhood innocence in one fell swoop. Family can be ignored usually if they are a bother. You are so young, at that age no time is really wasted, its learned. There are good people out there still and good guys. People to learn from and experience, your current crop of people are not your last. ', 'Remember to look out for yourself. She does sound Hyperactive behavior and everything she says seems to be looking for leverage. I would employ active listening where you aknowledge what she says without judgement by almost parroting back to her what she is saying. This does not Irritable Mood accept what she says. It goes sort of Hyperactive behavior this:""I feel Hyperactive behavior shit and you are shit"" you go ""I hear that you are feeling Hyperactive behavior shit and I understand that you think Im shit"". Dont make it sound super robotic, switch things up. Now be superhumanly patient. By this try to create a Sedated state understanding environment where she can just vent and feel understood, dont try to solve things right now because they arent going to get solved.If she goes in to 911 territory, well, call 911. And remember whatever she does its not your fault and never will be.', 'Sounds Hyperactive behavior an incredibly painful ordeal, you are describing a very tough existence. Do you think its possible that the approaching gear shift is a catalyst for your current downswing?', 'Spell out your story.How old are you?Where to do you come from?What is your family Hyperactive behavior? How have you felt recently?How have you felt in the long run?Have you seen a doctor?Who knows about your situation?Paper or plastic?We all feel lost sometimes, no shame in trying to remedy that.', 'Hello friend, its frankly incredible the amount of turmoil you have gone through.People who have the correct diagnosis and subsequent medication have stepped from the edge of the graveyard and into society again. Those who live with Schizophrenia and you would never know it because of the advances in medication and correct therapy, they can be happy, have relationships and the works.  It is a very broad category and an expert mental health worker is required to help **you** pin it down.Give yourself a chance of being with us. I would recommend owning your Hallucinations, Tactile and Paranoia with your immediate support network. The world has come a long way with regard to mental health. Even if actively seeking a possible diagnosis and medication for a serious mental issue and trying to own your situation with your fam is incredibly tough try that before you try the rope. People have come back from hell my friend and have started lives that resembled in no way shape or form their former wretched existence.', 'What kind of treatments have you undergone?', 'Uhm, you my man should definitely go. Someone Hyperactive behavior yourself that can engage a therapist on that level clear headed and analytical would benefit tremendously from the **right** therapist in my opinion. You need to find a therapist that isnt dumber than you which might be a challenge but not impossible. Once you do, he should be able to engage on a level you will find refreshing and very, very productive. ', 'Heh :PI can offer meaningful advise if I know the bare bones about your situation brother.  I sometimes ask straight forward questions when a persons life is on the line. The aim is to  put myself in the vicinity of your shoes and try to offer some help from my perspective. I honestly want to get the situation and listen to whats up.', 'Morphine skin patches? Ever been prescribed narcotics?', 'Im super trying my brother. You keep talking and Ill keep listening.If there is no help forthcoming I would still stand up for who you are and what your problems are which was mainly what I was on about. Stand up and be counted sort of way. This addresses your issue with boundaries and your problem with knowing where you begin and end. It really doesnt have so much to do with them. Im this, this is whats what if you agree fine, if you dont fine. It might not sound Hyperactive behavior much but its a boon when you come as you are clothed.Let me restate there are super many therapy and medication options out there. You shouldnt feel disassociated with yourself and perhaps a treatment that focuses on your personal narrative is what you should look for, these things exist. One of the hurdles of Mental Depression is Mental Depression about Mental Depression. When you realize your problem to such a degree that the problem and not just its symptoms begins to have its own weight on your shoulder its fucking tragic to heap that much more burden on someone Hyperactive behavior yourself. Your identity needs to stand tall with all its faults. Show yourself compassion to the same degree you would show someone else compassion.Will your living arrangements change after you graduate?', 'Hey man, I would not want to be in your shoes. Also what kind of loco therapist suggests church? What is going to kill you brother? How are you managing your Schizophrenia without medication o_O ?I would suggest you try to put your life in any kind of rhythm. Set up something you do twice every week. Try to do things in a set pattern. This eases the brain and can give you some clarity.The most important thing I try to impart is that you develop compassion for yourself.  Remember true love, Hyperactive behavior a mothers love for her childe is all encompassing and includes all faults and mistakes and is always there. Its not a love that needs proving or justifying. It doesnt prevent you from feeling down but hopefully it can help you not to count yourself out.', 'My friend, we are here for you.', 'Your situation is very tough, your body isnt being helpful along with your very unfortunate situation.How was your mental situation over a year ago?Have you collected [welfare](http://www.ehow.com/how_15335_apply-welfare.html) yet? The program is there for crisis situations and the case workers are knowledgeable about substance abuse programs and how to help people with chequered past get a job. There are online [AA meetings](http://aa-intergroup.org/directory.php).  There are resources out there brother. ', 'Having a one and one with a gun does not sound pleasant.Are there other things causing you Ache?', 'How old are you?', 'This is what took me a lifetime to discover, loving yourself is affording ourselves the same compassion. You would love a family member that was as flawed as you are. Of course you would because in their weakness they would need the extra compassion. You need to learn to be able to see yourself a little bit outside yourself and extend that same love and compassion to yourself that you so desperately need.', 'What are the therapy options that have been pursued?', 'F that Stress, want to play hangman?______   |         |    |         0|        /|\\ |        / \\|   |', 'Im glad you had the wherewithal to do so.Is there a rift between you and your family?', 'Thats awesome, thanks random redditor!I have a good feeling about you, you seem to want the solution sooner than the alternative. Is your mom a super cool lady?', 'Have you an idea of why you are in Ache?', 'Yeah its true, it is a lot tougher.Food stamps usually are available to singles, OP should certainly try to get the assistance that is out there.  In some instances Hyperactive behavior in California it varies even from county to county in how the system works. Food stamps usually depend on your income, general asset level and of course dependents.General assistance programs also vary from place to place, with some programs that are tied into Disability. Its tough to tell when you dont know OPs area.', 'Absolutely brother, youll find that once you start moving along things arent as intimidating as they might seem, thats almost always the case. Our brain is WAY scarier than reality. So much of our Ache is often intangibles Hyperactive behavior dread or how we perceive other peoples perceptions of us. People tend to want to help those who are helping themselves regardless from whatever hellhole they are starting from. The nature of most brains is that bad memories fade and the good ones remain so we usually have a shot at redemption. Why dont you start a journal cataloging your thoughts and experiences on your journey ahead. You could turn it into your own personal CBT therapy by only not allowing yourself to write down self destructive thoughts.And get your ass to AA meetings, they are important for your survival. If you have to make a two day journey sleeping on the sidewalk to get to one I would do that. Its so much at once, support for your addiction, networking, structure and inter-personal therapy. First meeting doesnt go so well, go again, second meeting doesnt go so well, go again third doesnt..etc till 1000 meetings. Then start the process again.Best of luck brother, maybe you will find someone down the road in a similar place you are now and you will be able to help them with the experience you are just about to acquire.Come back here and spill it whether its going good or bad.', 'Seems Hyperactive behavior things are pretty damn bleak. Im going to ask a few questions to clarify.* When did your downward spiral start?*  How many different medications have you tried, can you remember them all? * Are you in any sort of cognitive treatment?*  Do you pass the time at all besidea in a semi-coma; playing video games, reading or masturbating(can be tough on Xanax)? * What kind of schooling have you lost?* Did you enjoy any activities before, what were they?* Did you ever think about the future before you were afflicted with Mental Depression or has this been going on since Schizophrenia, Childhood?A bunch of questions :P but I hope youll take the time to answer them. ', 'Good move. Could you get back to us after you have contacted your therapist, or even if you dont?', 'Im glad you have a proper diagnosis friend. After reading up on fistulas on wiki they seem to be a damn piece of work! (understatement of le century?)What are the Ache management options presented to you? Is there  a support network?', 'Have you loved other people in your life?', 'He was a meanie, and was super sad about it, so he, Hyperactive behavior, got his shit together.', 'Can you speak to your loss? ', 'Dont debate religion, Im sure you guys are of the same mule stubborn stock. Come clear about who you are, sexually and emotionally.  See if they stick to the tenets of love in their religion. Do at least something brave before you dont.', 'I hope Im not being terribly morbid when I say those two experiences sound very interesting. Your medical situation seems Hyperactive behavior it would benefit from a varied and multi-pronged assault. There are FABULOUS therapists out there, genius level people if you can find them.  Ive seen people rise from the grave on the right med and I know people who need their meds switched around every few months or so as they build up tolerances.* How would therapy be the most likely to come about?* Are you comfortable seeking another doctors opinion, about trying an alternate type of medication?* Ever think about taking the lsats? Youve got liberal arts and paying off students loans forever written all over you my friend.* Not even your parents? You didnt really detail the cruelty of your household.', 'Would your family assist you, do they care? There are sometimes low cost therapy options, what is your area?The brain is uncharted territory, ask about other types of medication if possible and ask the doctor about  your options.', 'We are here man, thanks for being there for others. So much Ache stems from our Ache from perceived failures or potential failures. Ive felt this too and I wish we could move beyond some of the western success barometrics. We are getting killed by the past and future. Ive been trying, and I invite you, to see myself in the now free from things I can not change and free from things I havent even done yet. It sometimes lifts mountains off my shoulders. ', 'Well I dont know much at all about you guys and I dont know the tenor of the message. My thinking is that when you give into these juvenile patterns they will only continue. You tried his little hellish ""prove yourself"" week and youve been isolated and mistreated emotionally. You need to show yourself some backbone here. When someone casts you to the curb, tells you fuck you and then comes back at his own leisure he is liable to be manipulative or at least incredibly unaware of how his behavior affects others. Does his message erase weeks of torment? Does his message make it all better? Patterns dont just go +poof+. They take time and perspective to change.Perhaps both of you need to grow up a little.  Your happiness ultimately depends on you. He can fuck with it in the short term but in the long term its on you. Same with him, he needs to learn that he cant just fuck with hearts in the short term and expect everything to be ok in the long term, but thats on him. Maybe after you grow you can get back together who knows, Im sure you guys will remain friends down the road whatever happens.And remember its all about love and the pursuit of it. Dont let something about love, even love lost halt your progress in life. Love yourself and it will always be there. Love your faults, love and accept your mistakes and have compassion for yourself. ', 'Hello brother, it makes me happy we crept a little enjoyment in there for a second. :)While girlfriends (btw congrats there) cant handle a some mental mayhem because they are so personally vested great professionals Hyperactive behavior you mentioned will not be as phased as you might think. They will have thousands of hours vested in Reflex, Abnormal psychology and your thought patterns will be familiar territory. In fact the ones that have any kind of personal relationship with you will be relieved that you are finally able share your demons and doubly relieved because they will have answers for you.Indulge me here brother but If I were to armchair analyse you for a second you have straight up OCD. With the emphasis on the O part. Great and vast amounts of research have been done into your situation and its amazing you have made it this far alone.To me this further confirms actually what a great person you are, all the good things you have achieved despite accidentally having tuned into the radio from hell. The faster and more blunt and more open you can be with your doctor about this the faster you guys can switch the station.Go read the Wiki on [OCD](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_disorder) and see what you think.', 'Remember to look out for yourself and that whatever happens its not your fault. ', 'This can only be done with parental consent?', 'Hello brother, you have had a very tough break in life so far. Im glad you have a girlfriend even though she doesnt quite get it, so many are lonely and Depressed mood. The fortunate side to your dreadful family and environment situation is you could perhaps benefit more than others from altering your mindset, either by yourself or with therapy. Your Anger might be your potential, you are not in agreement with the shit that surrounds because you yourself arent shit and you do not belong. It could be the fire if properly harnessed that gets you out of there.There are a number of ways to learn a craft or a trade, make money Hyperactive behavior an ivy leaguer and move to Colorado. Plumbing might a Depressed mood job but you get paid. Boulder is an awesome town. If you are good people, once you have the liberty to chose your environment, you will find good people. Remember death isnt anything. No one can ever experience death its merely the time when a bodies function stop working.Talk to us brother. ', 'Yeah boss, what is your story?', 'You must feel devastated. I offer you my sincerest sympathies, Ive been there.As someone who has been let go by a person they love remember it wasnt really about you. Such viciousness does not stem from what you did. He wanted out and he wasnt brave enough to take it on himself so he forced you in a corner so he could have an easier out because somewhere deep, very deep, it Chest Pain him too. You might not want to hear this but your age bracket is a factor in the maturity of his actions here.The significant silver lining in there somewhere is the fact you take care of yourself and you say you are happy person when your interpersonal relationships are in good order. Its so fortunate that those can be established as fast as you have experienced them ending now.You know youve suffered enough, you know you do not deserve this suffering thats why you are looking for a friendly voice in this storm. Lets remember together that you were not made to suffer Hyperactive behavior this and we will surface again here together. If you need to chat Im here. ', 'That sounds Hyperactive behavior a very tough situation.A few questions:What has been your solace during this time? Do you feel abandoned by your family? Have you ever been on medication? What are the therapy options available to you? ', 'Am I understanding this correctly that the original Ache is from betrayal or emotional abandonment by family and friends? Or was it exasperated or replaced by it?', 'A quick few thoughts.You seem to at least now to be able to have an objective view about the situation, to me that is very positive! Does your school provide counseling? I would assume they did and if they do they could probably point you forward in your area. Maybe you could frame your conversation with your mom in such a fashion that it doesnt alarm her too much? A white lie about school Stress perhaps.There are a few out of office things you can do that have proven results. [Exercise](http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml) and [meditation](http://www.rightdiligence.com/category/chapter-1) come to mind, its all a big interacting contraption.Keep talking to us about it, I do hope you find at least some therapy option. There are some [workbooks](http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Depression-Step/dp/1572244739) available, and perhaps a communiy center has some options.', 'If a suicidal person gets trolled Im sure it helps that person deal with it if the community downvotes it into a oblivion, showing support.', 'Brother two things. Caveat: This is out of my ass. Somebody more knowledgeable please chime in.I highly doubt you will be held against your will on Suicide watch. I would imagine that reaching out and having a professional laying out a path for you will give you renewed vision and strength. In the scenario where a mental health professional determines you will fall by your own hand if not for an intervention, isnt that better than going down the end path? Maybe you could stay over night and go to work in the morning. I still dont think they would detain you unless you walked in with a gun to your head.We are here for you, talk to us till the sun comes up.Did you check out any numbers for a Suicide hotline? Those guys are friendly too. Talk to us both.', 'Having suicidal thoughts, especially thoughts you have no immediate inclination to act upon(immediate being gun in hand type deal) will not cause anyone to put you away. It can really Attention Deficit Disorder to your situation to be in secret and shame about things, if you have a good set of parents or siblings confiding in them would be a boon. You control the pace there anyways.A diagnosis will net you a either a prescription of something that might help you out of your funk and/or a recommendation for therapy. Your life is being adversely affected by your mental condition, its Hyperactive behavior you had any other kind of malady troubling its Hypothermia, natural to see a professional.I would want a good therapist to lay your burdens on, they are trained to listen to heavy truths and it could really help you out.', 'If you dislike the whole shebangery around the label just think of it as a situation speficic guidance counselor. Probably the best investment your gpa will ever make.', 'Try this if you [dare](http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/deep-brain-stimulation/MY00184), might as well try out cyborg living.Ever read anything by [Joseph Campbell](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Campbell)? He might mirror some of your experience as highly intelligent athlete. He wrote about the human condition and how we experience the world through myths and the psychology thereof. ', 'Sure, hit me up. I might be on tonight.', 'Do you feel Hyperactive behavior you have Exhaustion your options, socially and therapy wise?', 'Is it feasible to talk to him about it?', 'Active nihilism is very close to my way of thinking about these things.Deconstruction for deconstructions sake has always bothered me.', 'As I understand the USA still does not allow single mothers to perish without a roof over their heads or any food. Welfare cash+foodstamps and Phobia, Social services exists for the single parent, even if you were not working. There is also Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program or TANF. You would have time to work out the Disability and perhaps find some part time work. There are grants and scholarships out there too for the single mom. A kid nets you a fair amount of institutional good will.Heres a [list](http://helpforsinglemother.net/top-cheapest-and-safest-places-to-live-in-america/) of the best places in America to raise a child by yourself.This brand new life would be the biggest gear change you had ever experienced. But I imagine you are tough. Hell you might even meet a person who isnt venomous, science confirms at least half of us men are Elevated mood than average.', 'Take stock, get organised. Some people are poison minimize, your exposure to them.  Talk to a therapist, be honest, mention your Anger and Mental Depression issues.Formulate a plan on how to gtfo. If you need 2 grand in the bank, plan on how to acquire it. Realize patterns reinforce themselves. To change a pattern you need to change what feeds the pattern.I understand your sense of self is damaged right now, take notice that you are Hyperactive behavior somebody learning how to walk again. With therapy and the correct Irritable Mood you can heal most of the damage.', 'You are worth *my time* and the rest of us here.You are now in a very troubling transitional period of your life and too often we loose good life to it. You are on the cusp of discovering the real world and all the wonderful sexy people in it. You want change? Well change is basically thrust upon you at that age with blinding speed. The fact youve undertaken a bunch of different things to see if they stick is very healthy to me, I should get off reddit sometimes myself. :PBefore you go down a sad path tell me, have you been in therapy or made your family aware of your situation? Ive known a few scratchers and pickers in my time, always good people who learned gradually to substitute that with something else. Perhaps you have a diagnosis waiting to happen that could save your life.', 'Sibling!Then in the Irritable Mood time keep talking to us and reaching out. If you find a spark somewhere let us help you fan it into a fire for you. Maybe you need to channel your Anger into this, maybe you need to construct a narrative to opt into for a while. Maybe you just need to be heard here, on neutral grounds a lot before you can really, actually co-operate with the people that have the power to make those lasting improvements with you.Remember, you are inherently good my sibling. Im sure later on your unique perspective might be of help to another down the road. ', 'Sorry, the topic interests me and I am interested in how Taoist beliefs interact with your emotional turmoil. Whether and how they are a relief and how in general they play in your scheme. I thought perhaps engaging your belief structures might be of benefit while you are in this dark place.', 'I thought there was almost no Ache Morphine couldnt lessen, Hallucinations out the central nervous system. Maybe you should try ECT.', 'Np.You need to catalog your experience. Start a journal on your journey, mix it up with some humor. Put it online somewhere.', 'Random suggestion: Instead of detailing a plot you could give him a character write up. Like a bio. This might help you develop a sense of your characters in your narratives and its a way less of an undertaking.', 'Absolutely. Sometimes we need to be told what we know, because sometimes we are too down on ourselves to really take our own word for it, I know that certainly applies to me too often.And I also appreciate the the kind words more than you perhaps initially realize. Truthfully its nice to hear every now and then but when its sincere it also means that someone has that little extra ounce to share and it gives me a good feeling for them at least for the near future. How I see it the only 100% dependable love out there is the one you put there yourself, thats why being good to people comes back around ten fold.', 'My brother you are in a ton of Ache over the beautiful feelings you have for another human being. We need people capable of true love in this world.If you want a chance with her. You will do this counter intuitive thing. You will create distance between you two and self improve.Currently things will not change and eventually she will find another person that excites her and provides comfort. Unless you have made yourself an option before that happens you will not get back with her. You are not an option now, you are tiding her over. Pushing her on the issue will push her away.Fortunately while the aim to become an option might initially be the focus for you, if you manage to get some independent positive steps going it will start to make you feel better and will soften the blow if things dont work out. It is a very, very initially hard eventual win-win. Follow the logic?PS: As a person who has been in love twice I know lightning strikes more than once. If you manage to show yourself some love and compassion and you will see beyond the current desperation.', 'Hello friend.Have you been in therapy?', 'Do you feel Hyperactive behavior you have expressed your bisexuality, are you interested in doing so?Im glad you are tight with your fam, have you expressed your situation to them? How extensive has your search for a partner been, if not so extensive what would you pinpoint as being your biggest hindrance?Have you ever talked to a professional?', 'Goes around comes around type thing?What about the whole aloofness and part of the pattern things?', 'Not really caustic? Thats a boon son. Are you on OK terms with them? Do you have siblings?What do you think of the book?', 'Man, sounds Hyperactive behavior a colorful downfall.I assume some treatment options have been attempted?', 'When something is taken away from you its hard and exhausting to run from that fact. But its possible to create something else, in so many ways, not instead but else. ', 'Hello brother, you seem to care about her a great deal. Is the lack of intimacy the chief reason why you find yourself in this place?', 'You wouldnt be ""giving up"" by doing a very hard thing to save it. You wouldnt be saying okie-dokie, you would tell him you respect his decision and subsequently become as attractive an option as possible. Railing against this will push him away.I want to Stress this isnt the only way to try to save a marriage, but its in my mere opinion the best shot.', 'Im not familiar with the process, what would be the practical step for you to take to do it yourself?', 'What precluded a return trip to the tingler? Ever considered an implant?', 'Oh heh, weird. Anyways I have felt exactly the same way. I think ""we"" as in smart asses are the hardest to point anywhere because despite any Ache we might feel we cant let go of our thought patterns which, at least in my case, we see as superior. Ive sometimes wondered if what it takes is a paradigm shift. Swallow the blue pill situation.  Bottom out, burn out, or check out thing. I guess some people could accept jebus. Im a little bit older than you and while Im very good at avoiding things while they build up in the background a paradigm shift is starting to become more appealing.  Just actually accept the fact that the way Im constructing my thought patterns isnt working out for me.Lately Ive been thinking about narrative psychology and working with metaphors as an inner drive substitute till it enables my drive to maintain itself on its own. I have little passion but creativity and brain power I have in spades. ', 'Friend, that fucking sucks.A few questions: How much can you move? Do you have a support network? what are the exams about? ', 'If you are still there..Reach out.', 'At first I wanted to shout ""Motherfucker you have kids, snap the fuck out of it. You could be in prison and your kids would still prefer that to your death thousands upon thousands of times over."" But you know that. Must Irritable Mood your Ache and the hole you are in is so fucking deep and so fucking hopeless you are Numbness to it. That must be a horrifying place to be. You might not Hyperactive behavior yourself but what you have accomplished is something to be massively proud of, supporting a family and putting a roof up and food on the table is not nothing. Being there for people while also showing up 9-5 is an accomplishment every day you do it.Its massively tough to be laid off in the current economy and you are going to have to keep searching and perhaps negotiate your payments while you look for a job. I cant magically create a job for you but I can tell you this, as long as you are looking for one Hyperactive behavior you are, that is a job and you cant do anything better than doing it. You are not allowed to look down on yourself for that at all. If you are doing your best then thats enough justification for you even if it isnt for somebody else. You have no compassion for yourself right now and its at times Hyperactive behavior these when you need it the most.  You are afraid because you have a lot to lose - ergo you have a lot dont lose it on purpose. ', 'Honestly, that is not necessary to enjoy life. The only justifications to life is ising.  But this also means some arbitrary end isnt there either. Free yourself from that burden man. That is living for the past and living for the future and suffocating now by the enormity of it all, lift those shackles off of yourself. Life shouldnt be utter crap.  You feel Hyperactive behavior utter crap, and unfortunately the state of the condition is frequently thinking about ending it. Its a very catch 22 of affairs, its one of the chief symptoms and often why so many people die. The fact you have a very hard time geting this situation down to specifics feels Hyperactive behavior to me you are in a world of symptoms and we need a problem to deal with. Thing is, you started down this road 3 years ago. Seems abrupt to me.  You need to find a sensitive person or professional to hear your mess out.  Whatever it is, it could be anything, we are programmed to ignore it as a defence mechanism. Thats our Lack of drug effect system for these things and it frequently fucks with us. I kid you not, this could be as simple as a gastrointestinal issue, tons of things we dont understand about our body chemistry. People live",Indicator
user-269,"['[Me waiting for responses on a SW post after a half hour.](http://i.imgur.com/anL1W.png)', 'Wow. You have had some awful things happen. I think its good you came here though. To put it in perspective, after reading your post, I looked at your karma points: 0 karma. So telling. Your post is long, so please forgive mine for being long. This isnt a hotline, and I know that there isnt much we can say here, but some of us can give our opinions and Muscle Weakness advice. Here is mine:There isnt much I can tell you. Nothing I can say can make your situation easier. And if I were to come on here just to try to make you feel better, it probably would be disingenuous. What I can say is that I guarantee you arent alone in your type of situation. We live in a society that glorifies sex and being a virgin or being unable to have sex is truly heartbreaking when you are absolutely surrounded with graphic images of sex and commercial messages that say that sex is money. Its absolutely nightmarish, what has become of it. Seems Hyperactive behavior everything is about sex and money. Everything is about pleasure, evolution, or the justification of one or the other. A tree can bud and the flowers bloom, but the flowers dont intrinsically reproduce. Just because you arent reproducing doesnt Irritable Mood you arent a flower. I know that sounds totally gay (in the definition of merry, cheerful, etc - disclaimer), but its not. Its religious and spiritual. Look at nature. The Genital Diseases, Male beta fish puffs up beautiful, and most of them die. The peacock has feathers as beautiful as the plant has flowers. If you look at nature, youll see that a lot of the males in the animal kingdom actually dont reproduce. But if you look at the species as a whole, youll see that the sections with the most beautiful flowers produce the most fruit. You might not be reproducing now. You might not ever reproduce. I havent, and I might not ever. But if we were peacocks, you and I would still be puffing our feathers. And we might still reproduce someday.  But we are not animals. We have endowed to us wisdom, strong free will, and understanding. Characteristics that are without a doubt not endowed by nature to other animals. Youre a human with an amazing story, and it touches me. Some men are not virgins simply for the reason that they didnt want to be virgins anymore. But no matter what advice Id give, I think that its one of the hardest, and darkest, aspects of modern human life and society to come to terms with. But look to history and humanity. Sex is not the answer. If our society could gird our loins for just a bit, we could help our brethren. In an evolutionary standpoint, its about society. Evolution has helped us, as humans, become better evolutionary beings. You blog a lot. You seem awfully sad. But I read what you wrote here, and read a bit from your blog. You seem to be trying to make an awful forceful effort to influence society. My friend, you have! You say your friends are mia, but Ive read what you wrote here. I wish I can have more perspectives*edit: from above, we are animals - that sentence was worded wrong, probably. but we have traits that make us wildly different from other animals on earth. ']",Supportive
user-270,"['Man, I know what you mean.Its that proverbial downward spiral to death. Were supposed to just make it happen, life, somehow, someway...I guess, I dont even know anymore, none of this makes sense or is or was fun in the slightest ever.']",Indicator
user-271,"['To everyone who responded to this post. Thank you. My names zack. It was very nice of you to try n stop me. But its too late. If this doesnt work a rope will. Death is the only thing that will stop this Ache and Anger and undesire to live.', 'Just pray I dont go to hell. They say if you commit Suicide you to straight to hell. Its the only reason why I havent this far. Im just so Social fear to go to hell', 'Its already done my friend. Whos going to miss another fat Wisconsin kid? No one. Im alone.', 'Tis too late. Did my research. This will suffice me not waking up. Im done with this world. Done with hearrbreaks. Done with being alone. Done with so many things.', 'Goodnight my friends. Iv always loved reddit. Bless all of you for listening to me ramble. Goodnight.', 'Having this type attention till the end really is helping though. Makes it easier. Better than listening to Sam Smith stay with me over and over again']",Attempt
user-272,"['My heart goes out to you. Im in a similar boat: I hate myself for fucking up and putting myself in a Depressed mood situation. Ive got a little girl and I think shes the only thing keeping me here. Ill probably fuck up worse in the future and she may come to hate me.  But even if she does, I know shed feel better being able to yell at me.  If I kill myself, she will just hate me and not be able to do anything about it.If Im there, shell probably be Anger.  But Id rather her be Anger instead of sad.  Also, I dont want her killing herself by my example.I hope you dont jump. If it helps at all, I want you to live.PM me if you want to talk.']",Ideation
user-273,"['That drives me crazy. The text goodbye was clearly a call for help- if he actually wanted to kill himself he would just do it without trying to reach out. I would never do something Hyperactive behavior that; Im either going to live or get this over with and die. Im sorry this may have been inconsiderate, I hope the both of you improve :) and I dont care for anyone. I just feel completely dead. I dont look forward to seeing my friends at school, its all shallow. I hate trying to act happy all the time, but whenever I begin to explain my Mental Depression it becomes far worse with the added anxiety, they could tell anyone. Im just done.', 'My dad is actually part of the trust issue- he always takes my moms side. I am always guarded around him, Ive tried to loosen up but I keep searching for all the ways he could manipulate me (Hyperactive behavior tell someone else about my weaknesses) I guess I depend a lot on my own appearance, speaking about what I actually think about seems too risky. I cant trust my friends, my relationships always last about two years. I used to have a therapist, but I kept canceling and recommitting over and over- its not fair to her. I also found myself lying constantly, for no reason- I dont really know how to describe my emotions, its all too complicated. I kind of wish I could go back but I dont even have goals, so theres no point. Thanks for answering though, I dont know what to do.', 'But I dont know how to depend on people. Isnt that how you survive in the real world? I hate revealing parts of myself and asking for help. I much rather die than hand out resumes to random strangers, and become vulnerable to anyone. I want people to leave me alone. I just dont see myself capable of functioning in this. I have hobbies, but whats the point of them? You would just do them for yourself, and I feel incredibly guilty whenever I do anything for myself (not to mention this hopeless Mental Depression and perfectionism which seems to make it pointless)']",Ideation
user-274,"['Have you found any courses that are close by which would interest that are near by?One thing I was doing was writing down how much Im guaranteed to get paid by a certain date. Then look at which things I definitely need to pay off first before buying anything Hyperactive behavior food. Is there any chance you can work some overtime at this sales job? ', 'How long have you had this job for?Im still in a lot of debt as well and had to move back home with my parents just to cut costs in anyway.', 'I dont want you to kill yourself, please talk to me or anyone else that commented here', 'Short-term your focus should be selling cars. Literally find anything about selling cars that is going to get you commission. Have you spoken to your Manager about offering some advice and what you could be doing to improve?Remember they offered you the job for a reason you clearly have some potential.', 'Thats good, try to stick to it :)', 'Hey Buddy, I cant Im in the same situation but there are a few similarities. I too have got thousands of pounds of debt from Uni (live in UK) after not even completing four years. In my overdraft, credit card debt and unemployed right now.Was at a job as well where I wasnt terribly good and fairly Depressed mood during that time not really knowing where the hell I was going. Is there anyway to extend the debt repayments so that you could save some money to go for some night classes that are IT related?', 'Hey, I dont know what your situation is but I can tell you this. After bottling up my Mental Depression slowly over the years, one night I just bought alot of alcohol to just make me Numbness for that evening. I woke up in a hospital with my dad and mom waiting for me to wake up after apparently almost killing myself through drinking alcohol.One thing I would say is please dont bottle up your issues, try to talk to a friend, family member or even someone on the internet. Please message me if you struggling :)', 'I think you should keep at this sales job for the time being.Only a month into a sales job I dont see no reason to quit right now even if you are struggling with commissions. Give it another 2 months and if things havent improved at all maybe look elsewhere.']",Attempt
user-275,"['Jesus,  you still have it after two years?  Ive never taken more than 20...well except one time when somebody slipped it to me...50 is a lot. ', 'How do you get that training?', 'Wow.  I have an ""abnormal brain"".  I think the combination of the caffeine and theanine is the trick...although I havent tried the theanine supplements alone.  You get the lift, but are also relaxed.Is there good evidence that caffeine is contraindicated for bipolars?', 'That seems to contradict my experience. ', 'This is a serious question:  Why are blackouts bad? ', 'At 0:24 you see a look of genuine concern pass over Antonys face.   Then he storms in full of anger.Vorenus is a military man and will not be consoled by calming words.  Antony thus speaks to him in language that he will understand.   The language of the battlefield and training ground.   Antony demands why he hasnt killed himself.  This seems cruel, but it is not.  By asking ""why have you not done your duty and opened your stomach?"" he reminds Vorenus that Vorenus has already chosen to live.   Vorenus is a Stoic, and thus fears nothing but that he will fail to do his duty.  Antony wont tell him its not his faut.  That wont help him.  And its a lie. He fucked this one up.  Fucked it up bad.   And rather than pull him out, Antony meets him where he is.  Vorenus is a man of action.  Through the series he is Confusion by sentimentality and human relationships, but he is at home when he acts.   His only possible redemption is in action.  Antony promises him a mission,  a chance to be useful, to once again serve Rome,  to ride on the wind of his duty.    At 3:02, Antonys face softens.  Instead of ""Centurion"" Antony calls him""Lucius.""  And then he pulls him in for a genuinely tender hug.\xef\xbb\xbf', 'Decaf tea might be a possibility.  Herbal teas do not contain theanine, so theres no help there. ', 'Have you considered, instead of killing yourself, isolating yourself from society?  You could join a monastary, or work in antartica.  ', '1)That however much I crave death, I still have work to do on this earth.  ""I would love that above all things sir.   But, Dis is my master, and he will take me when he chooses.  At present he wishes me to suffer.  Here.  On this earth."" 2)That I need  to pull myself together.   ""STAND AT FUCKING ATTENTION WHEN I""M TALKING TO YOU""  3)That I need the influence of those who will pull me out of Mental Depression and get me back on track.   (Pullo goes and fetches Antony.)4) That I need professional help.  Pullo is unable to help Vorenus, so he goes to Antony.  Antony is Hyperactive behavior a shrink.""Hes gone awry, sir.  I dont know whats to be done with him.""  5)The importance of routine and ritual (Vorenus immediately responds to his military conditioning.)  6) The source of my grief is that my friend killed himself.  I turned my back on him.  Literally turned my back.  I know, intellectually, that its not my fault, but those words dont help me.   ""Caesar is dead, and it was as good as you held the knife""7) That I must not let Mental Depression spiral out of control and make things even worse:""Not content to let our great father die, you start a damn war on the Aventine that threatens to engulf the whole fucking city!""   8)  That no  man  is beyond redemption...not even me.   ', 'You dont understand.  Im not worried about her, Im worried about ME!  ', 'I take it too. Its wesome!', 'Thank you for the compliment.  I havent seen my shrink in a long time, but I have an appointment.  And I am medicated.Thank youfor the probing questions...I think I learned a lot writing this.  ', 'When she said the gun was unloaded and she had no bullets, I said "".38?""  Indicating that I could go get my own bullets.  That went right over her head. I wanted to prove it.  But I was wrong, you cant just buy a bullet.   Thank God.  She is clueless and insensitive. After all, says she, the Ache of losing a college buddy is nothing compared to a  father and a brother!She knew I was watching that ""Rome"" clip over and over.   ""Caesar is dead and it was you that as good as held the knife!""  I showed it to her, and she didnt get it.   ', '""I would Hyperactive behavior that [suicide] above all things.  But Dis is my master and he will take me when he chooses.  At present, he wishes me to suffer. Here, on this earth. \xef\xbb\xbf""https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWnVH8x9iAMI wont kill myself, because I never want to make anyone feel the way I feel now.  ', 'I tried seroquel.  It put me into DEEP depression, Hyperactive behavior staying in bed all day. ', 'Yeah...the ritual can get fairly elaborate, as in the Japanese or korean tea ceremony. ', 'God.  Story of my life.  I spend hours pacing back and forth thinking through porjects, but I dont finish them.', 'Good?']",Attempt
user-276,"['I understand that feeling.  Completely.  I was ruminating on your second sentence, as it relates to my life, the other day. If I dont play it perfect, people avoid me because Im ""trying too hard"" or am ""aloof.""Im surrounded by people, but no one wants to be a friend or lover.  My family is thousands of miles away. Theyre the only reason I havent killed myself yet. Theyve given me so much more than anyone. Sometimes I think its more than I deserve.  I was thinking about ""it"" today, but I wasnt going across the right bridge. Today was a disaster in slo-mo. A waking nightmare.Do you want death, or do you want an end to suffering? That often is the real question that may or may not help you. I dont know, Im in the same place rambling to fulfill my own needy ego.  I wish you the best, stranger.']",Ideation
user-277,"['Dude, youre doing pretty well.I interact with women all the time, and they dont want anything to do with me - expressly noted, in black ink, written on their foreheads; their faces.At least you have a chance.  Please take it?  PLEASE.You have no idea how lucky you are, some of us ARE going to kill ourselves from decade+ Sad mood spells.  It only gets worse, you only get more neurotic and hate yourself more. There is no release, no one gives a fuck about your problems, you just wither away; dissolve into nothing, depressed, alone, torn to shreds by tension, a husk of your former self, long lost to dissociative states - the only way to deal with absolute failure once you understand what it is, and its place in your life.Just fucking do it, PLEASE.']",Ideation
user-278,"['Working is the only thing that doesnt make me feel numb. I feel Hyperactive behavior my work is the only thing I am good at.', 'I moved from ATL to SF about two months ago. I didnt have many friends at home. I worked really hard so I could provide for her and hopefully start a family. She didnt appreciate everything I did for her. I had some people I would have a drink with, but nobody close. I am an outcast to my family. They are super religious. I got kicked out of Drug abuse school for drugs and they dont talk to me now after my divorce.', 'When I got kicked out of High School it was from Christian school. Christians are supposed to be understanding and forgiving. From that day forward I was never allowed to talk to any of the kids I knew. The parents would hang up on me when I tried to call. Stupid shit Hyperactive behavior that. I would never step foot in a church again. I dont really have any faith. I dont believe there is some inisible dude watching everything I do. ', 'I used to game a lot but here lately I just sit at home in my room and either drink or Crying Reflex, Abnormal myself to sleep. I dont really have any interest in anything right now. My hobbies are work. I do that so I can continue to have a place where I can sleep. I had a gun for a long time but in a moment of clarity I sold it. I have had so many people tell me that I have so many issues. I just need some positive influences in my life, but can never find any. I am so Exhaustion of it always being the same.', 'I try to cut her off. I have changed my number twice and she still gets it. I just moved across the country and have no will power to do any of those things. I work about 60 hours a week and I am just so mentally and emotianlly drained that I get in bed as soon as I get home. I have been so Nausea all weekend that I have barely Ventricular Dysfunction, Left my bed. ']",Behavior
user-279,"['Listen, OP.You dont have to have a girlfriend.   Like, you wont keel over and die. You dont ""have"" to kill yourself. Like, no one is holding a gun to your head.~ Reddit users take everything literally, or at least do when it allows them to *not* communicate under the guise of communication. To float words without meaning. What youre really asking for is advice.  I wish I had some.  It seems Hyperactive behavior you need some degree of (at least willful) ignorance in order to get along with others at an extremely intimate personal level. Wide-eyed, full-consciousness is hardly accepted. As far as I can tell, life is about making money and having sex/building a family. If you cant get those things, what is the point?  I dont know. I can pretend that humans dont need intimacy, I can even believe it, but its not true and the data/knowledge we as humans have confirms this. Its Abnormal behavior how many young men are Ventricular Dysfunction, Left out to Thirst right now, yet we obsess harder and harder over perceived inequalities facing women in the western world. Is it going to take a Localized Rash generalised of suicides to get people to care?  Would even that make a difference?  I kind of doubt it.  People are callous.']",Indicator
user-280,"['Right?Im actually a bit Social fear these days, I thought things were going to get better.  I live in a place where Im surrounded by people my age - just fucking tons of them - and no one wants to do anything with me.  When my neighbors wont do more than talk to me in a patronizing tone, then hook up with each other. Where associates and peers are constantly dating, moving on with their lives; and they just give me *that* look. If I dont initiate contact, contact is *never* made, beyond pleasantries.  It never goes anywhere.  Friendships ended when I stopped calling.  No one shows any romantic/sexual interest, unless theyre a good looking dude behind me.I think Im eventually just going to get fed up and buy a gun.  That seems way easier than jumping, a bit more control over when and where.I was where you were at your age, well, mostly. Give or take.  My 20s were just shame-filled days, smirks in my direction, Phobia, Social cuckolding, and eventually getting to the point where all I can do is scream inside my head, spend an hour here and there curled up, wondering where it all went wrong, why people wont even give me a chance. The sexual frustration is mind-boggling, I dont really masturbate, too shameful, too aware of the fact that its not supposed to be done by self, by hand.It seems to be some combination of looks/attractiveness/height/etc., confidence (at the right time, in the right way), happiness, stoicism, being in the right place at the right time, projecting the right image, not projecting an image at all and just being yourself, navigating a Phobia, Social minefield laid and fucking magic.']",Indicator
user-281,"['It really is Hyperactive behavior that, isnt it?Loneliness never leaves. Even bringing it up incites mockery. I was thinking earlier today about how Ive wanted to die, more or less, for over a decade. I keep telling myself it will get better, or there is always some other thing to try, but that appears to be nothing more than a lie.  A carrot on a stick to string me along from day to day. People in solitary confinement eventually go insane. I feel Hyperactive behavior I need to kill myself before my Sad mood consumes whatever small bits of human are Ventricular Dysfunction, Left in me.When I had friends, I remember that happening.  Im in my late 20s now, so most everyone I know (knew) is in relationships or getting married.  I havent been touched in almost a decade.  I cant even bring up how much that hurts without Abnormal dreams mockery.  It does Chest Pain though.  It hurts so much I want to cut myself, something i havent done since I was a teen.  But what else am I supposed to do?  I have to let these feelings out somehow.  Meditation cant cure the need for human contact. I guess its my fault, it has to be.  I just dont get what is broken about me, or what I did wrong in a past life to be so inherently offensive as to not be worth touching.  Am I made of poison?  Am I poison?  I wonder that sometimes.  I must be.  Its scary what other people wont tell you about yourself, that they clearly see.I just dont get it, and no amount of personal change or venting will change it.  I dont get it. I guess I am broken and do deserve it. Death appears to be a slow journey.  I understand why those statistics ramp up as you get a bit older. You forget the lies you told yourself to make it each day.']",Behavior
user-282,"['Thank you for understanding. ', 'I guess you didnt read. If youre just gonna sit here downvoting without even knowing what Im about, you should just leave, man. Youre not helping.', 'Abaolutely correct. It is hell.And coping? The only method I have for coping with this Mental Depression is self-harm.However Ive stopped for about two months. And right now I feel terrific thanks to [this guy](http://reddit.com/user/legend_of_derp)s very wise words.', 'Did you even bother reading the rest? I hate repeating myself, so why dont you go ahead and take a look at why Im really suicidal.', 'I might put up one more update. Stick around.', 'Well, Ive got time. But theres quite a lot ""going on"", could you be more precise on your question please?', 'Easier said than done, indeed. I simply cannot see the light at the end of this tunnel. I dont have the power to push through. Nobody will care when Im gone, too. Maybe a few of the friends that I still have left, but the Ache would go away quickly and theyd forget about me. ', 'Thank you. Firstly, Im miserably failing my school year. I feel very unintelligent and Im under the impression that I wont be able to get ahead in life. Im ugly; Ive suffered from Anxiety Mental Depression in sixth grade which lead to an eating disorder and now Im disgustingly skinny. Ive lost a lot of friends this year, and I can barely express how fed up I am with life. The only thing thats held me back from killing myself to this date is the fear of death itself. But if things keep going the way they are, I just know I will within a matter of weeks.', 'Firstly, holy fucking crap. This got much more attention than I expected. Thanks reddit. Ill try to reply to as many of you as I can.', 'In a weeks time...let me see. My girlfriend broke up with me and I feel literally 10x shittier than I did before.', 'Well, I guess it differs between people. Because Im torn, heartbroken, more Depressed mood than I ever was. She was the only person I looked forward to seeing every day. She was the only reason I still wanted to live.', 'I have nothing. Thats why Im here. Ive lurked on SW for months. Now, I knew it was my turn to reach out, because I have nothing else.', 'Damn. That doesnt help at all, yknow that? ', 'Aboslutely. It feels good to be back.', 'Your words are **incredible**. Having read that, I **actually** feel happy. I havent felt Hyperactive behavior this in months. I dont even know how or why, Im speechless I *really* am. I dont know if this will last, but I will remember those wise words.Thank you.', 'Nothing, *as in* I have no other avenues of support. You misread.', 'Im speechless. I really am. I always see at least 1 negative thing in everything, except you. Its strange. Im really speechless.Im gonna stick around for a bit longer.', 'Kind of. I havent really changed my decision, but you people did change my opinion on life itself a little.', 'Actually, I have found one talent in myself, Guitar (Coincidence much?). And the fear of death itself can be described Hyperactive behavior so: I wish I was dead, but I dont want to die...in a nutshell. However if I had more simple methods of killing myself (meds, etc.), I really wouldnt mind just going for it. Hell, if I already was on meds, Id certainly try to kill myself with them. I probably wouldnt even be here right now.', 'I cant. I just cant. I am not a valuable human being, and I know it.', 'Hmm. Probably shouldve mentioned Im actually 14. \xe0\xb2\xa0_\xe0\xb2\xa0 And cause you asked, Im in Quebec.Also, things actually HAVE been getting worse. A lot worse, Hyperactive behavior I expected. My girlfriend broke up with me today and I literally have nothing to look forward to in life. My desire to die is SERIOUSLY at its highest right now. And I cant do sports because I am not fit enough. It hurts whenever I run, even if its for short periods of time. I usually play guitar in my spare time, as mentioned earlier.', 'Actually possessing the power to push through, and just the presence of it, are two different things. I dont possess the power nor the will to push through.']",Behavior
user-283,"['For motivation; http://www.reddit.com/r/motivationand as for your Anxiety Mental Depression and fears, Ive been there, and its fucked up and scary and you dont want to do it, but you have to stand there and face them, and go out of your way to make yourself uncomfortable or they just get worse and worse.', 'Relationships have a curious way of evolving. The ones that tend to be short-lived, fickle and unrewarding are the ones that come about very quickly. The ones that develop out of friendships are the ones that come about slowly, but when they do come about, they are the ones that last. Now, he may have known her shorter than you, and they may be in a relationship right now, but what is his first move in it? To try to make his friend look Hyperactive behavior a dick. Thats not the makings of romance. Thats the makings of a teenage fling. ', 'What subjects are you studying at school? Whats stopping you from dropping out and coming back? As for self harming, I think a lot of us have been there. Maybe not with the same feelings as you, but youre not alone in that sensation of just needing to Chest Pain something. Do you exercise much? And I dont care if youre being Depressed mood or sounding Hyperactive behavior a teenager, youre being honest, and you shouldnt apologize for that. And whats changed with your writing? ', 'What do you think he sees in you that the workers he laid off lacked?   Are you looking at job prospects now? It sounds Hyperactive behavior it might be time for you to move on, especially if youre not enjoying it. And you shouldnt feel guilty about leaving him if the job is making you unhappy. Youre the most important person, and its good to do things for other people, but if doing something makes you unhappy, its just not worth it. ', 'Why do you say that you cant get along with anybody? What did you used to love doing? ', 'I think you should start exercising, if only to get things off your mind. It doesnt Chest Pain to give it a shot, does it?  What can you do to change how needy and desperate you think youre being? And what do you think is the best thing to do with your boyfriend? Do you still want to be with him? ', 'Hi right back. Whats your favourite subject out of them? And if its cold outside, thats even better. Its winter, so what? Get fit for summer. Your house is small, so what? You dont have to exercise indoors. And why are you all of a sudden a Anger? >The Tale Of A Teenager Whining About How Shes Ugly.On the contrary. lots of people read Twilight. >Im sorry. Oh, god. Whats happened to me? When has it come down to this?I honestly dont know what youre talking about. Whats running through your head? ', 'Hm, I can relate, with everything youre saying, but I ask you this;  what other options do you have?  How much do you have saved away?  What can you do with that?  What have you always wanted to do, say?  What do you want to do for the people around you beforehand?  And additionally, give [this](http://www.menshealth.com/best-life/make-life-worth-living) a read, its helped me a couple of times', 'There isnt a requirement to drink anything in a bar, therefore no requirement to spend money. Are you looking for a job? What do you do with your spare time? ', 'Because its the truth man. Guys dont act Hyperactive behavior dicks for no reason, and more likely than not, he tried to act alpha today to make you look bad. By the sounds of it, all he did was make you and her both uncomfortable. ', 'Not stupid at all buddy. Im going to read your Post 1 now, in the meantime, whats on your mind? ', 'This might be a bit harsh, and I apologise if it comes off that way, but you need to address this otherwise things just arent going to get better.  Youre acting the victim man, you have the mindset of a victim. Do you know the BED/OAR analogy? The mindset of a victim contains three things; Blame, Excuses and Denial, BED - as in, you make your bed and you lie in it. The mindset of a champion; Ownership, Acceptance and Responsibility - Row your boat where YOU want it to go. All I see from you is victim, Ill point the examples out: >I still only know a few people in this town and *most of them are cruel and decided to try and make my life hell* Excuses; Sure, some of them are going to be cruel and going to be dicks, but thats no reason not to be making other friends. Hell, its more of a reason to be making other friends.>I was Fired for becoming Violent *despite not harming anyone execpt a desk.*Excuses; It doesnt matter what you did, its the perception of the people above you - You have to play their game, move on. You lost a job, no need to hold resentment. >Ive lost my car giving a *""friend""* a ride to work, *never so much as apologized.*Blame; How was it his/her fault? Also, very passive aggressive. >socializing has never really been my strong point considering im upfront and honest about my feelings, seldom seen in a 22yr old male.Denial; Being upfront and honest is actually incredibly common, but its used with tact. Practice biting your tongue and just being friendly with people, you dont have to tell them how you feel every other second. In summary, my advice for you; map out every mistake youve ever made and learn from it. They are not the result of other people, no, they are the result of actions you made. Blaming other people doesnt help, hell, it only leads to the events replicating themselves. Ownership, Acceptance and Responsibility. What I think you need you to do:  1. Either find a job you enjoy doing, or go back to college.  2. Work on your temper.   3. Actively try to make friends, join clubs, groups, etc.  4. Bite your tongue when youre socialising.  5. If people are being dickheads to you, get rid of them, you dont need those kind of people in your life.   6. Work out what direction you want to be heading in your life and start working towards it. Also, Im really sorry if this come off Irritable Mood, I didnt want it to, I just want it to click for you. ', 'What do you Irritable Mood? ', 'Do you have anything that you want to do before you die? Do you want to lose your virginity? Do you want to graduate highschool? Do you want to make any changes? If you love her, why cant you try to be nice to her, keep yourself in check. Wear a bracelet or whatever that catches your eye so everytime you go to say something harsh, something Irritable Mood, something to bring her down, what you want stops you? Shit isnt easy - love isnt easy, but just because it isnt easy doesnt Irritable Mood you stop trying. And youve been rejected heaps, a lot of us have been rejected heaps. Hell, I was in love with a girl for a long time and she rejected me on and off for a lot of years, doesnt Irritable Mood that there werent opportunities though. Fuck guys, theyre dicks anyway. And who cares if youre a virgin? If I meet someone thats good to talk to, I dont suddenly think to myself; Wonder if shes a virgin; if she isnt Im not going to talk to her anymore. And you are good to talk to, fuck yes, youre good to talk to. And to summarise, you want to be loved, but you dont feel deserving of being loved. The question that you have to ask yourself is what you think you have to do to deserve somebody elses affection. ', 'On top of this, after this, just talk to her as you usually would, as a big brother Social fear for his little sister would. Its not your place to deal with her issues, but its good for her to know that things dont change because of this, that you arent going to look at her differently and treat her differently. edit: also, keep an eye on her, spend time with her, I know that when I was in a similar spot, and from speaking to people that have been in the same spot, a failed attempt tends to make the person just feel Hyperactive behavior more of a failure.', 'you know what, youre being unfairly harsh on yourself. Sure, some shit might fuck up, but you can do things well too. Youve probably done a lot right in your life, and youre probably doing a lot right right now, youre just ignoring it because you think youre fucking shit up. Honestly, make a list right now of the things youve done right in the last 24 hours, simple stuff, making food, wearing clothes, whatever, and if you feel that its not enough, go out and do something right, do something good, volunteer somewhere.What you touch doesnt turn to shit, but you have the capability to turn it to gold, dont sell yourself short. ', 'Most, if not all, guys know exactly how youre feeling right now. Its not fun, and it fucking hurts, and it makes you want to end it all, but you know, one day soon youre going to wake up and realise that youre starting to get over her, and a couple of days after that, you might hang out in a coffee shop and meet a cute girl that initiates a conversation about what youre reading. When it comes to girls, theres always another one, always. And, lets face it; if shes the type to do this to you now - did you really want to date her? ', 'Your reasons are beautiful. ', 'Im happy to spend tonight talking to you. What do you do for work? ', 'People are dicks. That is no reason for you to punish yourself for what theyve done. If you think that she was reciprocating, she probably was. Most people dont feel Hyperactive behavior the other person reciprocates unless they do. Today was them just being petty and immature, and I know it fucking hurts when people are petty and immature at your expense, but its not you that looks bad here. Its not you that did something wrong. Remember that. ', 'You know, youre thinking the wrong way. Youre only worthless if you dont learn from it, every single one of these are lessons, lessons that if you learn from, youll become a better person.  What do you think you couldve done for people not to push you away? Lets figure out what you can do here man, because if you keep doing what youve always done, youll keep getting what youve always had, and I dont think either of us want that. ', 'Great work :) ', 'Get it all off your chest. Im reading post one now, but Id Hyperactive behavior to hear how it is now as well. And stopping everything will stop the suffering, but theres a lot of other things that can stop it too. What do you love doing? ', 'Hello there again. Whats changed? ', 'Hello there, What do you want to do before you go? ', 'Since when do you have to buy drinks at a bar?Since when do you have to spend money to have fun?Why cant you get out of the town?', '*Come Back.*', 'Set it out right here, what do you need to do, in order of priority, and what youre going to do to get there. ', 'I respect you greatly for what you do here. Things may suck for you, be confusing, whatever, but at the end of the day, youre trying to be a better person, and youre making a positive impact on other people. Thats why I respect you, thats why I care. So if you need to chat, you can PM me. ', 'The fact is, he wasnt a dick because he doesnt Hyperactive behavior you, he was a dick because he was threatened by you. Big difference. As for what that makes you, it doesnt change anything right now. Girls arent ruined by the first person they date, shell be the same person once they end, if you choose to wait that long. If not, youre still the same person you are now, someone that girls Hyperactive behavior and guys feel threatened by. ', 'Then get the fuck away from it all. If youre seriously contemplating Suicide, why not spend what youve saved up for a rainy day on yourself? On experiences you always wanted to have? See the world, do some things youd never think of, live. When you come back, if you dont want to, then youre in a situation to find something new to do - that you Hyperactive behavior, with the added benefit of half a year of experience doing what you love, finding yourself. ', 'We dont hate you. What do you do as a job? What else makes you happy? & Dont end it, theres a lot of other options. ', 'Rallys? Hell, we dont even have Burger King. ', 'hey buddy.  There seems to be a couple things going on here, can you tell me what your best friend did to stab you in the back?  Do you know what happened with the girl-friend? Did you try to get in contact with her again? And as for the ex; well, she sounds Hyperactive behavior a 16 year old girl that isnt sure what she wants. If you stay silent, shell probably start talking to you again in a week about how she misses you. This isnt the be all and end all man, this is just the beginning. There are a lot of people out there that care for you now and will care for you in the future, people that will get you, understand you on a level that your friends now just dont. Youll meet guys that will be the most loyal, loving, friendly people, and girls that will fall in love with you and you with them. Youve got your entire life, youve got college, youve got finding what youre truly passionate about and doing it. Youve got a partner, youve got kids, youve got seeing them grow up, becoming a grandparent. Things do get better. Things are always changing, and sometimes, you just have to have faith in people, faith that theyll come back at the end of the day, that they love you Hyperactive behavior you love them, and if you do that, if you believe the best in people, well, youll attract people that believe that as well. Youre a good guy, one thats been through some shit, but youre here, youre asking for help, asking for a reason, and theres plenty out there. And if you dont believe me, if you think all people will stab you in the back, be dicks to you, forget about you, well, theres people right here taking the time to write to you, because they care about somebody they dont even know. Theres a lot of good out there man, thats reason enough. ', 'What used to be your favourite subject?How is your system bullshit? What reason do they give for not allowing you mental leave? You say youre a Anger because you want to cause Ache. I dont think your a Anger, I think that we all want to cause Ache sometimes, I think that a lot of things are unfair and that sometimes we just want to strike back because if life has dealt us such a fucking awful hand, why should we be the only ones that get it? Its normal, but whats remarkable is that despite the fact that all you want to do is cause Ache, you try not to, you care whether or not someone gets Chest Pain, you would rather Chest Pain yourself than someone else, and that makes you special, selfless. I dont care if your thoughts are straight, squiggly, square or circular, I dont care if theyre shapes Ive never seen before and as irregular as a nonsensical analogy. Id just Hyperactive behavior to know them, let them out. As for your best friend, well, she sounds Hyperactive behavior a good person that sees some good in you, and thats the glory of friends, they will forgive you, they will keep loving you. How does she reject you?', 'As far as I can figure, Australian bacon has a different, much thinner cut as well as a different smoking/curing process to American bacon, and due to consumer guidelines, the thicker, fattier cuts that you guys have are either:   a) impossible to find,  or b) unable to be sold due to consumer guidelines. Im going to need to visit the US to try it. Correct me if Im wrong, I hope to god Im wrong, your bacon looks so very good. ', 'I dont have aim, I have msn and skype, or passing both - tinychat? ', 'Why do you have to mooch off them? Do they live elsewhere, if so, cant you get a job there? Do you consider going back to college? ', 'You know man, things really arent that bad for you. I was incredibly ill when I was in Drug abuse school, Im talking four years of my life bed ridden every other day, with sporadic bursts of health. In total, over those four years I attended maybe 30 weeks of school, never had the opportunity to make friends and lacked the motivation or drive to try to study hard because I figured, if this is how the rest of my life is going to be, whats the point? Ive been where you are, and Im going to say this clean and simply, killing yourself really shouldnt be an option for you. Youre 23, I know, the years that everyone considers to be the prime of your life have passed you by, but youve already learned that grades and schooling and all that arent everything, that the conventional wisdom surrounding them isnt true, so whos to say that you cant have your fun now? Whos to say that you cant be the most socialable person when this semester is over. You learned that College is a different world to highschool, after college is a different world to college to. You can be whoever you want to be. If you look back on every chance youve missed, youre going to miss taking chances today. ', 'Have you tried dropping your resume into places and asking if theyre hiring? What else are you interested in? And yes, I have, theres also book stores and coffee shops as well as just on the street. And were not only talking about girls here, were talking about friends. ', 'Guys are dicks when they feel threatened. Its probably a sign that she disclosed to him that she has some feelings for you. The thought of that probably hurts a little, but if she likes you, well theres proof that theres something likeable-lovable in you. As for the low mood, man, Ive been there. Day in and day out, and it sucks, and theres nothing that I can say thats going to bring you out of it, but it does get better. It always gets better, sometimes, it just takes a little longer. ', 'I dont know the US school system, whats the typical assortment? And if you want to Chest Pain something, somebody, yourself, then just exercise, push yourself to the brink. Theres the bonuses of getting your adrenaline running and wearing yourself down so your mind slows, at the very least. Why arent you ever going to get your heart checked out? And it doesnt matter if youre only writing for yourself, writing is an art, a craft, and to become great, you need to practice. Plus, you seem Hyperactive behavior the kind of person with stories to tell, the kind of person Id read, the kind of person that would become great at it. ', 'If it isnt cancer, you wouldve killed yourself over nothing. As Sam said, talk to your parents, if that fails, check out free clinics. Theres a lot of plausible options that not only are simple and logical, Suicide is not one of them. ', 'It sounds Hyperactive behavior you want something else in your life. Maybe learn an instrument, take up painting, writing? Do some puzzles, learn something new. Are you exercising?What do you think youre doing to push your friends away? ', 'edit:  mine is long, scroll down and read everyone elses first! :) 1. I want to see the world. 2. I want to fall in love unconditionally, perfectly. 3. I want to work on myself, to become better. 4. I want to learn a lot of things. 5. I want to make a positive impact on the people around me. 6. I want to be able to support other people, to help them out of whatever situations that they need. 7. I want to find a job that Im happy in, and work myself into a position where I can do the same for other people. 8. I want to see different realities, different outlooks, viewpoints, lifestyles. 9. I want to be nomadic. 10. I want to undertake large projects and complete them. 11. I dont want to die before my grandparents.12. I want to make my parents and grandparents extremely proud. 13. Ive had three people die this weekend past, and I dont want to have anyone feel as I did for them. 14. I think that we all have the ability to do brilliant things in our lives, and Id be doing myself and other people a disservice by not pursuing that. 15. Theres too many things that I havent read, havent seen, havent watched or heard, too many experiences that Ive missed out on, and I dont want to stop myself from experiencing the rest. 16. Random acts of kindness go along way, and if I dont make them, who will? 17. I havent seen enough bands live. 18. I want to be in a play. 19. I havent written a masterpiece yet. 20. No matter how bad things are now, tomorrow things will be different, not necessarily better, but theres a chance, and a chance is all that it takes. 21. I dont know if I Hyperactive behavior ballet or not. 22. I havent tried american bacon. 23. I havent watched a sunset with somebody I love, and watch the sunrise with them the following day. 24. If I die now, I wouldnt spent too much of my life on facebook/the internet to be happy with it. 25. I havent worked in a variety of industries. 26. I havent lived a lifestyle where Im consistently around people that I love. 27. I havent had a souffle. 28. I enjoy giving other people compliments, some people are far too frugal in their nice statements. 29. Poetic language is far too beautiful to leave behind. 30. I dont rest my hopes on an afterlife, so I have to make the best of now. 31. Hurting people comes with the territory of being alive, your life shouldnt be judged on the harm you do, rather, the energy you exert trying to make up for it. Ive done some things that Im confident I havent done enough to repay/make up for. 32. Theres a lot of kids out there whove lived awful lives, and if Im able to, I want to help them into a position where the cycle wont repeat. 33. Theres a lot of idiocy in media, ceasing to live means that Im not trying to prevent it spreading. 34. Too many people believe that they need to follow a script - High School, College, Grad School, Work until theyre X years old. They need to be shown/told that its okay to live in a different way. 35. Im  Australian, were loved overseas, I may as well exploit that.36. I havent had a piercing or a tattoo. 37. I havent created a film or tried my hand at recording things. 38. Ive never painted a wall in the way that I want to. 39. I havent met a lot of people that Id Hyperactive behavior to.40. I havent exerted myself to better things around me. 41. I dont know how to play the piano42. I dont know how to play the guitar. 43. I help, or try to help people on here. 44. Losing people is hard. 45. Ive never been in a band.46. There are people that I can cuddle with at night. 47. Hipbones and collarbones. 48. Stars. 49. Alcohol and friends. 50. Late nights talking to people I love, people I dont and people I dont even know. 51. There are people that havent told me things that they shouldve, and I in turn havent told them things. 52. I havent pulled nearly enough all nighters.53. I havent seen all the Star Wars movies. 54. I havent seen Firefly, or BSG. 55. I dont know how to make a brilliant coffee. 56. Im not nearly as adept at cooking as Id Hyperactive behavior to be.57. Ive never cooked a meal for a girl. 58. I love my music, and discovering new music too much. 59. I havent had a beard for a prolonged period. 60. Ive never worn my hair long. 61. I havent seen Everest. 62. I havent learned Italian. 63. I havent seen the Eiffel Tower, or spent enough time in museums. 64. I havent filled nearly enough journals with my thoughts. 65. The feeling you get when you connect wit somebody straight away. 66. The long nights spent talking to people on the phone, ignoring how your ear hurts, finding other ways to press your ear against the phone because your arms sore, falling Somnolence to their voice. 67. I have the ability to make mistakes. 68. New years eve, Christmas day, Easter. 69. Circle of death. 70. Ive never taken dance lessons. 71. Ive never learnt to pole dance. 72. I havent been in a strip club. 73. I havent driven across a country.74. I havent seen the Grand Canyon. 75. Ive never met XXXXX XXXX. 76. Ive never taken photos with expired film. 77. I havent ever volunteered in a hospital. 78. I havent done volunteer work. 79. Ive never been to New York. 80. Ive never decorated a place by myself, in my style. 81. I havent tried every subway sandwich. 82. A girls never loved me unconditionally. 83. Late night swims.84. Skinny Dipping. 85. Every single person Ive ever met. 86. Ive never played beer pong. 87. Ive never toured with a band. 88. Ive never bought DJ equipment. 89. Ive never owned a strobe. 90. Ive never drunk out of one of those cheap red beer cups that are in every movie. 91. Ive never drunk from a keg. 92. Ive never done a keg stand. 93. Ive never attended a college party.94. Ive never been overseas.95. Ive never built anything beautiful with my own hands. 96. Ive never T-Pd a property. 97. Ive never experienced a true halloween. 98. Ive never been a part of a winning team. 99. I havent kissed every girl I wouldve liked to.100. Potential. 101. Leaves falling in autumn. 102. Knowing nothing about architecture. 103. Icecreams. 104. Real cheese. 105. Friends, car rides, music up all the way. 106. Pubs. 107. Big cities. 108. Beautiful clothes. 109. The sensation you get when you make a ridiculous shot. 110. Inspiration. 111. Big caves I havent seen or even imagined yet. 112. I havent seen the Cano Cristales. 113. I havent hooked up with a Swedish girl. 114. Ive never proposed to somebody.115. I havent written nearly enough letters.116. I havent paid enough attention to the classics.117. I havent learnt enough history. 118. I dont know the law process. 119. I havent fixed enough things with my own hands. 120. I dont have a mastery of the english language yet. 121. Ive never shot a gun. 122. Ive never been on a real roadtrip. 123. I havent given a eulogy. 124. I havent written a screenplay thats been produced. 125. I havent tended to a garden. 126. I havent lived rurally. 127. I havent had a fling with a girl that only spoke a different language. 128. I havent read every book that has won a pulitzer prize. 129. I havent read all of the BBCs top 100 of all time.130. I havent learnt any programming languages. 131. I havent travelled the world. 132. I havent gotten into a fight. 133. I havent had to learn to fight.134. I havent smashed a beer bottle threateningly. 135. I havent pulled a charming Hi, Im her boyfriend. on a guy thats obviously making a girl uncomfortable. 136. I havent made an AMA with an interesting topic. 137. I havent responded to enough SW threads. 138. I dont have any trophies in my Reddit Cabinet!139. I dont have any trophies in real life. 140. I havent studied at a university. 141. I havent attempted a marathon. 142. I havent completed a marathon. 143. Ive never been at a fitness level that I would consider peak. 144. Ive never kissed a girl in the rain. 145. Ive never designed a poster. 146. Ive never busked. 147. Ive never worked retail. 148. I havent been to nearly enough dress up parties. 149. I havent ever hosted a party. 150. I havent been FrankNFurter at a Rocky Horror night. ', 'If i recall correctly, the way that its cut here differs because theres a limit to the fat content. Its why theres a lot more short cuts/thin cuts rather than just slabs. edit: I may be completely wrong. ']",Indicator
user-284,"['To answer this properly, Id first have to define better.  Well go with the standard; ""\tOf a more excellent or effective type or quality"".  With that being said, it wouldnt be better, for some. It could be better for, lets say, the planet?  But its not an option because its the best choice.  I cant live a normal life. I refuse to. I refuse to work. Ive tried school twice, and cant get the motivation to do it.  Im not going to leech of my parents, or the government.  Im Exhaustion of thinking. Its exhausting me. I cant stop it. The only solution Ive found is alcohol, but is that better?  I need an absolute. Death is as close as I can get.']",Ideation
user-285,"['Thankyouu, just did the first programme thing on the Headspace app. I am probably one of the most sceptical people on earth but that honestly helped to remove a lot of negativity from my brain and while it hasnt magically transformed me into a positive, life-loving person, its certainly suppressed the immediate urges to do anything destructive.Just purchased a year long subscription, heres hoping itll come to something! Thanks once again for your post, really appreciated! :) \xe2\x99\xa5 ', 'Thanks for such a long response, was a nice read.I would love to love life again, really. If I had even one good reason to get out of bed in the morning, that would be enough. I dont believe in hatred, but if I did I wouldnt wish what I feel upon anybody, even someone who I ""hate"". I havent had a reason to be alive since I was about 13 or something, and Im 18 and a half now. Its almost Hyperactive behavior Ive forgotten how to be happy, and what happiness means. I look around and I see people who are happy, and I feel so jealous. Even though I know that they may not be as good as I am at other things or in other ways, basic human happiness is an intrinsic need and one Ive gone without for far too long. Im consistently pessimistic even though Ive made several attempts not to be. Its almost as though I no longer want to try, every time I think I can be happy or Ive found something or someone worth holding on to, something just inevitably fucks up Hyperactive behavior it always does, and I lose the last shred of happiness I was clinging on to. During the day I get up and go to university, feeling Hyperactive behavior a Depersonalization the entire time. I have ""friends"", although Id prefer to call them ""social acquaintances"" since I spend so little time with them. I just dont have the interest or effort required to be a sociable person. I leave and come home to my bed to cry, cut and Hypersomnia as soon as I have the opportunity. Wherever I look, I see happy faces around me, functioning, laughing, and deriving enjoyment from what Id perceive to be a sea of oblivion and nothingness. Whenever I dream, I see a world without sunshine, and a life falling apart. While I completely agree that finding genuine happiness and learning to love life for what it is again would be the ideal outcome, and while I do appreciate you recognising this and saying so yourself, I just simply think it will never be possible. Also, while Im obviously sad that you have been where I am now (and that your sister is in the same place), Im happy you managed to get through it (hope your sister does the same too) and its refreshing to hear what Id call a ""real"" response for once. Thank you so much for posting.', 'Well, I get that this is a completely rational way of looking at things but in times Hyperactive behavior this Im finding it hard to be rational. Ive been staving off this temptation for about a week or so now and its getting to a breaking point. I would absolutely love to be able to focus on something, I just dont know what Id be able to successfully channel my emotion into that would make my urges go away.Thanks for the response, and the encouragement. <3 no homo', 'Wait, so youre saying Ill get banned for asking about Suicide methods on a subreddit dedicated to Suicide, or am I misunderstanding here?Youre right when you say there isnt much living for, but trudging on is too much work. I dont derive enjoyment from anything in life. I thought I did once but thats over, and now the only thing I want is out.', 'I already had another thread on this but the Ache is just way too much for me to want to keep going. I dont want to regurgitate parts of it so http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/2rvob4/most_painless_way_to_go/ hf reading.""what happened"" is that I was born, and 18 years later I feel Hyperactive behavior rotten shit and want to die. Thanks for commenting (I appreciate your intentions, even if Ive seemed Hyperactive behavior a dick) but theres just simply nothing anybody can do to make me feel any better anymore.', 'Well, I hate for this to sound Hyperactive behavior some kind of dark joke (not meant that way because im far beyond the stage whereby id enjoy making or hearing jokes), but Im not really sure how big or sustainable a ""Suicide community"" would be for obvious reasons, although I agree it would be nice because thats really more what Im looking for. I dont want to be told that things are all okay, or that theyll get better, because I simply know they wont. I guess this subreddit is the wrong one for me.Thanks for your reply anyway.', 'The subreddit states that pro-Suicide comments are forbidden including any explicit discussion of Suicide methods.However it also forbids ""anything thats not a direct, personal, supportive response to the OP"". The most supportive thing someone could do (also the thing Id appreciate most) is just tell me the most painless way I can kill myself. Would this negate the points in the former rule?And if not, then if I may ask, whats the point of this subreddit? Not meant as an insult or in anger, just genuinely curious.', 'I just dont want suggestions for things Ive already tried, thats simply it. Its Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder enough for me to have to live through my day to day life knowing that there is no way Ill ever be able to feel happiness, without having that reaffirmed by the plethora of worn-out suggestions people on the internet decide to contribute.Id invite anybody who wants to comment to do so, just that Id have preferred it to be somewhat about the original topic. Sucks that it isnt allowed here.', 'Hey, thanks for reading and replying!I just wanna clarify that while Im happy to admit to being an introvert, I dont think Im by any definition ""brilliant"" and I certainly dont have some kind of ego that relates to this. I simply dont understand how other people seem to be happy and can socialise normally when it seems Hyperactive behavior they should be having a tough time at both.Your thoughts are pretty interesting. Being the type of person I am I dont really believe that Im loved by anybody and in fact Id probably encourage anyone who wants to get emotionally close to me not to do so as Id probably end up being a burden anyway since I believe that I have nothing of real use to offer to the world and Im pretty straight up about this.The second reason is pretty similar to what Im holding on to at the moment - Ive always told myself that hope is an illusion conjured up by a Muscle Weakness mind, but in this case I find myself holding on to it as my last resort. I dont hope to be a millionaire or to be famous or anything similar, I simply hope that one day I will feel true happiness again. I vehemently despise people who take that for granted.', 'I can relate to so much of this post its actually scary. Were both using anonymous accounts over the internet but its Hyperactive behavior you know my innermost feelings as well as I do (especially the part about making friends at university, and the part about resting my emotions on other people and the Nervousness that comes with it).My university doesnt have an outreach centre Hyperactive behavior that, but if it did Id be too Social fear to go to it anyway. The only thing that I think ever helped even slightly was seeing a therapist who recommended a book to me, called ""The Seat of the Soul"" by Gary Zukav. For some reason, reading it seemed to put a lot of things into perspective for me and make me feel as though my life wasnt really slipping out of my grasp. Unfortunately Ive lost it now though.However, speaking of reading, Im Confusion: when you said a youtube clip inspired you to start reading again, Im Confusion as to how such a simple trigger caused your life to seemingly take a U-turn for the better to the point where you are now (I assume) fully happy once again?Im not really sure I have any passions Hyperactive behavior that. I used to play guitar pretty well (at the age of 14 I was able to fluently play things Hyperactive behavior this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTkKMDhm6ds for example), but the motivation for thats gone now. I was into gaming for a while, however that was always Depersonalization for me and was merely a form of escapism. Its still cool to do sometimes but I dont imagine that itd be a very practical thing to take up doing frequently. Never really been into dancing much as Im a guy (just realised Id never specified that in my previous posts), however I started weightlifting about a year ago. I got pretty good but then, similarly to the way I played guitar, I dont really have the motivation to continue with it.I guess the one thing Im passionate about would be travelling and nature itself. I went to Norway by myself last summer and simply standing in the presence of something as majestic as the fjords made me felt more serene and Sedated state inside than Id felt in a long, long time. Was a similar story when I went to Finland and I literally just wanted to get lost forever in a forest because it was so beautiful. Not sure either of those solutions are that practical, either, though.Im derailing this a lot though now sry, my point was basically that I have absolutely no idea how Id distract myself from my Mental Depression thoughts whilst simultaneously trying to build up the foundations of a good life and an agreeable demeanour again. Its awesome that youve done it, however I have precisely no idea where I would even begin.']",Ideation
user-286,"['Youll get there when you get there but it would suck to check-out early and find out there is nothing else. I dont see how dying is anymore interesting that living since in both we have to submit to a future we cant yet know.', 'Im glad youre going to see a psychiatrist soon.This may sound weird but when Im in crisis and I need to get a lot done I plan for the hospital. I even pack my bags and arrange things so all my responsibilities are taken care of. This has the added bonus of relieving your Stress with less on your mind. Then I go day by day. ""Im ok right now so...Ill finish this paper/exam then Ill go."" Gradually things will clear and I can avoid inpatient treatment. Well it worked this year but I usually have bi-yearly episodes that land me in inpatient. The hospital I was at was super cool and they even let me attend classes regularly but I dont know about the U.S.Also are you medicated? are you taking them? Is your family doctor supportive? Pressing ice on your skin can help with self-harm urges or drawing on yourself with red pen. Added bonus if you do both because the red ink will run and look Hyperactive behavior blood. Also dark corners of tumblr have videos of people cutting which can help to watch. It gives that rush of dopamine youre craving.We all care about you. I expect to hear back on how this goes <3', 'Youre not. Youre reaching out because you know or at least still hope that you are worth saving and you are. ', 'Yeah rest assured shes in the system and getting the help she needs.', 'Just stay here. We care about you and Hyperactive behavior you.Have you considered anything that could change your circumstances, Hyperactive behavior talking to a doctor?', 'I hear a lot of hate and self loathing which is probably spurring the cycle but Im sure you dont need a lecture. Although, how you treat yourself is the one relationship you have control. I doubt no one cares about you but Ill buy in. You can still care enough about yourself to live. Take a minute to envision yourself as a separate person from your immediate consciousness and do feel sorry for yourself. Why would you do harm to that poor soul? Do something to help and care for yourself Hyperactive behavior you would a friend. Then use that love and direct it toward interacting and getting support from others. <3', 'We hear you. Death is so final a solution. I think you are looking for a rest rather than an end, and you need to be alive for that. Its coming. Drugs are getting better and people are getting wiser. As for what youre capable of, take a look at what you just accomplished. An airtight, well-communicated idea of your own abjection. Not an easy feat. And that needed to be learned, so you have that capacity. To rise above where you are and become something more.', 'Youve already found a loving community here. Youre making progress.', 'This is what youre going to need to detoxify with a professional if youre going to learnt to love others and yourself again. I can only do so much', 'Its amazing youve lasted ten years without breaking. I think you have a lot of inner strength. I think the fact that youre reaching out Hyperactive behavior this is that indicative that you havent given up. Maybe gaining a bit of space will help you pursue something more concrete. You articulate well and any girl would be lucky to have someone so complex. Depressed is often mistaken for mysterious ;)', 'Maybe a different medication or an adjunct would help with the negative symptoms. ', 'Can you identify any underlying beliefs or are things too hazzy', 'Im here, whats going on?', 'shit that sucks.', 'Im here', 'That guy isnt your friend. Thats horrible.Your thoughts around Suicide sound more Hyperactive behavior Anxiety Mental Depression which fits with your earlier points. When I was Depressed mood I was afraid of what I was capable of doing to myself and that sent my Anxiety Mental Depression through the roof. Ill bet theres more going on in your life.', '10 years and counting. 7 years medicated. 2 years diagnosed. What about you?', 'That sounds great, especially since its something you can channel your strife into you know? Mental Depression and heartache improve it! just dont die at 27 Hyperactive behavior all the great ones ;)', 'You are a bit jumbled but heres what Im picking up on; you spend a considerable amount of time thinking about killing yourself, the care provided is too short-term/immediate-action to provide lasting care, and your feelings arent being appreciated holistically. That is to say, as a part of a greater whole. Help me understand.', 'You sound Exhaustion. Try not to dwell on things and give your mind a break. You need to submit to a future you cant see yet and there is nothing harder.Im glad you went to the doctor, it shows you still have the strength it takes to get help.', 'Ive been diagnosed with schizoaffective with Anxiety Mental Depression and Mental Depression and I frequently hang around r/schizoaffective. If you have questions post them there. Welcome!Ive learned to keep a journal of all med changes and how they affected me. Sometimes I decide to go back on stuff or I forget what Ive tried already. Doctors should do this but they are really busy and can forget.', 'Isnt it called neurosis if you dont believe it?', 'Everyone needs to be taken care of sometimes. In what sense do you feel you need to be loved? What is it thats missing?', 'God Ive been there. People in Drug abuse school are vicious. Have you considered expanding your group instead of changing. I Irritable Mood, gain more acquaintances and a change may open up. Im curious about the bully. Can you shift support onto your side with sympathy?', 'Can you say a bit more?', 'Are you still there? Lets talk.', 'A work in progress thats what you are. Your suffering is Hyperactive behavior molting. Can we know more about your circumstances? We can help give advice.', 'Ok. I had an experience when I was young, maybe my first Depressed mood feelings. In a way I blame myself for starting my illness with this before it became full blown but I felt Hyperactive behavior I was on a set ""track"" in life where everything was decided and conventional but by being Depressed mood and withdrawn I was getting in touch with me, and in a Nausea sense, I was appreciating time more even though I was suffering. ', 'if youre too Nausea to work you should be able to get disability', 'stop, youre killing me', 'Maybe you dont need to go all the way to a shrink but you could talk to a doc for advice. I think whats key is that youre Exhaustion but Suicide isnt the rest youre looking for...its just total finality. You have to be alive to appreciate the absence of pain. Do you have loved ones you can turn to about this?', 'Youre getting abstract; just known that the tenants your theory rests on, although they sound nice, arent made of lead. I wanted to kill myself this time last year but i wanted the uncertainty of it. Like, if I died that would be fine but if I lived its because I am supposed to. Or that Im killing off the part of me I dont want to be anymore, Hyperactive behavior a rebirth.Im curious what the people in the ER are thinking when you come in. Where they curious?', 'ice has saved my arms from a lot of scars but not allYou should know that piling up medications can slow down your mind and cause confusion. Oxycodone, zoloft, and prozac can all do that. Im worried because youre in school. But I appreciate youre self medicating and you dont really have a choice.', 'Dont tamper with the pills. Maybe you can talk to your doc about optimizing your dose to deal with the suicidal thoughts. When you say you drove people away, what exactly did you do?', 'There is a crossroad in therapy where a person realizes that they dont want to give up their problem because it would make it seem Hyperactive behavior the people who have Chest Pain us got away with it. Do you think youve fallen into this or has it just been so long you do remember what it was Hyperactive behavior to be happy?', 'You talk about society as if its a unified mass and youre the outside. I doubt any person who works at the hotline identifies as this. No one wants you to kill yourself. I have a belief that everyone is just doing the best they can. If it helps to know. Youre the most difficult guy Ive tried to help today. You even took some of my favorite phrases ;0Speaking as society right now, which would be hilarious if you knew me, I dont want you to kill yourself; I wish you were happy so you could be just another guy, but youre special. ', 'I almost went on it but I went on lamotrigine instead (a similar mood stabilizer) in conjunction with Haldol. My friend is on lithium and said it feels Hyperactive behavior he cant think but there was a study conducted which suggested people on lithium perform way better than they expect on tests when compared to people on other meds.', 'Whos telling you these things because you have to get rid of them. Also obtaining help would be confidential wouldnt it? ', 'Yikes, your Mental Depression is pretty far along. Do you think you could separate yourself from those thoughts. As in, Mental Depression is the lens through which you see the world and its doing this to you. Have you considered meditation or therapy?', 'Do you Irritable Mood drive away and live your dreams or Hypersomnia and literally dream. Theres no dreaming in death, its not the rest that you seek.Fun fact: if you tense your muscles a lot and relax them you reach a more relaxed state than before. I believe the same applies to the mind. The Tension your feeling will be superseded by a very blissful state of rest that you have to be alive to experience. But you have to put some work in.I send you my love <3', 'I know tylenol is especially painful', 'Are there any underlying beliefs or is this just free standing? Whats not worth it.', 'ok, now that Ive actually read it. You hit the nail on the head when you said that youre Exhaustion. I think when people are suicidal they feel Hyperactive behavior they have Exhaustion every option. But you just need to be creative and stop thinking in extremes. Depression is a cloud or spectre that hisses lies in your ear. You need to fight to see past it.', 'Im here for you', 'Its the people who arent content with their circumstances who do anything interesting. And for Gods sake dont live for the sake of relationships. Youre in a key time in life, sorry...Im assuming youre young, and its crucial to foster a solid relationship with yourself. ', 'How long have you been Depressed mood?', 'ugh i didnt know that existed. Why dont you take a break and watch some stand up comedy on youtube. Try: louis c.k. or dane cook.', 'you need to submit to a future you cant see yet and there is nothing harder.I was suicidal this time last year, I had been diagnosed schizoaffective, and it was the new therapist that really saved me but it took time to reach a point in that relationship where I saw a benefit. Also youre not worthless thats Mental Depression talking. Whats interesting is Mental Depression has been described as Anger turned inward and you seem to be taking on a lot of Anger that I think is meant for others. Do you blame anyone for where you are?', 'Ive heard of this response in people who are Depressed mood when they make up their mind Hyperactive behavior they have found meaning. But its hard to imagine how final death is. We will never meet but I need you to know I care about you. You need to go to a doctor and get meds. Talk to me.', 'Do you have any tips on how to fight the Feeling jittery or are we in this together?', 'Depression has been described as Anger turned inward so fostering a more embracing Irritable Mood could help not only for how others experience you but for how your thoughts and beliefs manifest. Losing someone you care about is hard. Even if you dont believe in an after life theres comfort in knowing he cant suffer anymore. That doesnt Irritable Mood you should do the same. Have you considered getting professional help?', 'This sounds Hyperactive behavior the mental chaos I entered during my first psychotic episode. I thought I lied about being raped to get concessions at university. Which I see as a terrible thing to do. During my psychotic episode I wasnt just Social fear if it happened I was Social fear that people would think it happened because I was Social fear it happened, you know? There was no escape. But you have to know that being afraid in this way for doing something Hyperactive behavior that leaves you morally further from doing it. umm. To put it another way: the fact that your Acute psychosis took this form, Hyperactive behavior a Bogart from Harry Potter, means doing that it something you fear meaning you have to be a good person.', 'yeah. thats neat', 'I second NewOpinion. And people dont hate you. Why are you a coward? because you cant commit Suicide? you know, people who are really Depressed mood, Hyperactive behavior clinically, arent the ones who kill themselves because they dont have the resolve. Its part of the symptoms. Its when people are getting better that they Chest Pain themselves because suddenly they can.Also I think theres a lot of value in talking this through with anonymous people. Without the context of who we are and what we think of you I think its special in a way.', 'What strikes me is that conventional self medicating techniques arent satisfying you. Booze and drugs ""help"" by fogging you up and distorting reality, numbing you. The fact that you prefer to live in your own head is a good sign. Strategies for changing your circumstance include setting attainable goals in the following: get roommates, volunteer, and/or improve your work situation. At least without a girlfriend you have a little extra cash...maybe? We can talk about your options. How old are you? ', 'Geez thank God you got rid of her. Shes someone elses problem now. You can explain whats happening to you to a doc and get Withdrawn. You will get Ws instead of Fs. I have a couple serious mental illnesses and I have to do that sometimes. Take control now and dont suffer for it later!! Take the time you need, school will always be there.', 'This is the greatest thing Ive ever seen', 'Yo, I stopped meds last summer and failed a bunch of stuff but that was because I couldnt think and wasnt motivated but I went back on meds and I could read again. Seriously consider it. But it took a few months to bring my cognition back.', 'You had a crisis that manifested as a Panic Attacks attack.Maybe try using a day planner to structure your time better and insert breaks with things you really look forward to. Or make studying easier with music or healthy snacks. There are Hypothermia, natural treatments for Mental Depression. I ordered a verilux happy light which imroves mood and Hypersomnia quality by emiting the same wavelength as the sun. About $100 on Amazon but it works for me. Or St. Johns Wort is a herbal supplement which naturally increases serotonin in the brain. ', 'Yikes, I hate when people try to bring (fallacy filled) logic into an emotional battle. Youre allowed to ask whatever. Further, if you were looking for attention you wouldnt have voiced that.', 'http://cuttersecrets.tumblr.com/start here and check reblogsi also found this:http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=8e1_1355686606', 'Youre not gonna fall asleep. Youll be bent over a toilet with your insides on fire. Flush them down the toilet.', 'Sorry, I Irritable Mood what thoughts are going through your head. How do you relate to yourself and whats going on in your life?', 'If you have an honest and frank discussion with your doc there will be options. Ive seen electroshock therapy help a lot of people Ive been in psyc wards with. It even helped one trans-gendered woman I knew who did jump off a bridge and break her back. She said it worked so well she probably wouldnt be back to the hospital. Promise me and yourself that you will try everything.', 'Oh God, Abilify. Worked really well but maybe I was just Distractibility by how unbearable the Agitation was. But it doesnt do that to everyone.', 'You probably dont have rabies. Thats rare even for a dog who hasnt gotten vaccinated. Do not kill yourself. We can think this through and come up with a plan. Can you make a pact with yourself to be safe until tomorrow?How old are you? Is living by yourself and working an option? I agree that going to the hospital is a last resort but at least you could talk options with a Phobia, Social worker.', 'uh, dumping you is harsh. But it says a lot that you are self-reflexive Hyperactive behavior that. I cant help but side with you. Unless youre manipulating me ;)', 'Yeah, uh...believe them. Thats what they would want. Mourn because of the joy they wont experience but take relief knowing they cant suffer anymore.', 'Why did you start cutting. Did something incite this or was it just building up?', 'I know how that feels. A lot of people are in the same situation as you. Its worth the fight though. From personal experience, urgent care is only good for keeping you alive in the short term and I dont think price would be an issue for that. You owe it to yourself to make long lasting changes', 'The quote you mentioned is actually, the definition of insanity is repetition while expecting different results, but you dont. And I think its worth trying something different.I think what you said about the demon becoming you is really key since it can be hard after a while to recognize the voice of Mental Depression from our own. And youve already named Mental Depression the Anger which is my first stage of knowing your foe. Clearly you have a lot of insight and ability.As for meeting women; try volunteering in something that interests you. Approaching people for the sole intent of a romantic/sexual encounter can be off-putting to a lot of people. Instead engage in an activity with a common goal, Hyperactive behavior a charity. Volunteering has the added bonus of directing your attention outward away from your own problems.As for your age there is an advantage to being 26 instead of 20. The women your age are more likely to be looking for something steady i.e. with a future. I know young women who would rather date an older guy than some stupid frat boy.', 'She sounds insane. You should make a foul bachelor frog meme about unclogging the sink with a toilet plunger and get upvoted to oblivion.', 'im just supposed to sit here while you kill yourself it hurts a lot', 'I have always thought its unfair to expect a facade from people especially when that energy should be going to taking care of yourself. What youre going through doesnt make you weak. Depression is considered by some to be the worst illness there is. I have been diagnosed with schioaffective disorder which means Im schizophrenic and Depressed mood and frankly the Mental Depression sucks way more than Acute psychosis. You need to appreciate that whats happening to you isnt Hypothermia, natural. Its the Mental Depression talking, just Hyperactive behavior Schizophrenia talks to me. It helps to name it something, Hyperactive behavior ""the black dog"" so that you know it is a foreign part of your psyche and not your beliefs.You sound lucky to have such a loving family. Im sure they all just want whats best for you, if that means you need to be sad sometimes they have to embrace that.', 'Do you think its familiarity you Hyperactive behavior - Hyperactive behavior youve made yourself a mental cocoon or is it the individuality of your circumstance?', 'You need to talk to a doctor about emergency chill pills. When Im approaching crisis I take either a seroquil or a benzo. But benzos are too good since you can get addicted', 'I just read an article that Mental Depression a genetically determined response to Stress. Is there anything you could do to make your life easier. I could help you come up with a plan.', 'Things get better. I remember asking my doc, when I was 21, if this was supposed to be the best time of my life and he just laughed.', 'Oh god, my nurse is Hyperactive behavior that (from my mental health team). She has me in a category -- people who need help -- and shes in category -- people who help. When I told her Im volunteering at a womens relief center she looked so disoriented I thought she was Hallucinations out. Swear I got a contact Drug abuse from her haha', 'She sounds Hyperactive behavior a nightmare - jesus get rid of her. Shes keeping you from a worthy partner. From the sound of it if youre willing to put up with all that your capacity to love must be profoundly strong. Any girl would be lucky to have you.', 'Stop, no. Thats enough. The tone Im taking is totally counter to what  I want to tell you because I want you to listen. I hate the ""get real"" Irritable Mood. Its false.Think of suicidal thoughts phenomenological. It isnt your will but these thoughts are Hyperactive behavior assaults to your consciousness. I deal with this a lot but you have to use tricks to get around them. Our will power (to live in this case) isnt overpowered, its seduced by the idea of self harm. The danish philosopher Kierkegaard talks about mindfulness which today is used to talk about strategies to center your consciousness in the here and now. Thoughts are Hyperactive behavior clouds floating by and you can recognize them for what they are without appraising them. They are neither good nor bad; they just are. ', 'Do you have prns, you know Hyperactive behavior seroquil. Just go to Hypersomnia and tomorrow talk to someone and create a game plan', 'They probably dont hate you. People can be egocentric and ignore the effects they have on others.Suicide is the only thing that could really fuck up your life. ', 'Do you Irritable Mood you dont want to know if you really have it?', 'Whats the problem; we are here.', 'Youre 3/4 the way there because youre asking for a solution. I believe things will get better for you.', '""Better"" as in happy or a better person? What if I told you that this experience is giving you the Drug withdrawal syndrome course on life and there are people in the world who could learn from your experience. Life brings tons of misfortune to everyone and youre the expert. We need you to guide us. ', 'The foot thing could be an opportunity to date a girl with character. Who the hell cares if your feet smell for Gods sake theyre feet.Also, I agree with the post above about using baking soda, it probably is that the smell is coming from your shoes. Spray them with antibacterial spray and/or get unpadded shoes. I tell this to people a lot but dont live for romantic relationships. Foster inner strength and value yourself, that self-love and confidence will shine through and people will see it. Its hard to be with people who are too needy.', 'The feeling of being stuck is really exhaustion. There is a way around everything you just need to take a minute and regroup. If you get through tonight can you come up with a plan tomorrow? or is this a long standing state Hyperactive behavior a Mental Depression episode?', 'Yikes, can I assume your in Drug abuse school. What grade are you in because I promise these people will grow up someday.I cant understand (ok I can but) why young people kill themselves. Just trudge through, everything is going to change so fast in a couple of years and life gets so much better. Im glad to hear you are making friends though. What about your parents or siblings?', 'Making yourself available is key. But I want to wanna make sure you are being taken care of as well...Youre the one asking for help after all and Mental Depression affects everyone. Getting your friend real help will help you too so consider bringing in professionals if things are bad. You dont have to carry all of this.', 'Good for you. Can I ask what made you decide? Tips...Be honest. Coming from the biggest hypocrite of all time. Let them do their job. But dont leave without making a plan with them, some kind of supporting structure in place i.e. therapy or medication.', 'No problem :) But Id hate to be another source of temporary help. I once talked to a psychiatrist who helped me in inpatient care who talked about setting up supporting structures, Hyperactive behavior Im a hammock or something, you know? the kind that swings suspended between two trees. Well, we need to get you some trees. Mine are meds and therapy. Have you considered getting help? I Irritable Mood real help. A team who helps you while your not in crisis to keep you from reaching this point.', 'that was a funny comment about rinse repeat, youre smart. Im sure people Hyperactive behavior you.So I think Anxiety Mental Depression is our target problem because not going outside is probably whats making you Depressed mood. Youre not upsetting people in this subreddit unless you do it. People here get  weird gratification from talking about this stuff. Human worth is such an abstract concept. What would possibly make one person worth more than another that cant be traced back to circumstances outside our control. ', 'Fair enough. They are just human after all.I read a book when I was a young(er) person, Im 22 now, called ""The Perks of Being a Wallflower"" and it was probably the most important book Ive ever read. Even competing with my English degree. Anyway, the main characters best friend commits Suicide before the plot and his feelings resemble yours.', 'What the hell. That wasnt graphic. Trust a man to freak out, I tell yuh. Its so crucial to know it affects your ability to have a family hence your future.Dont take the pills. Maybe everythings fine after all. And it isnt well cross that bridge when we get to it.', 'First of all, can we ever express ourselves properly period. Further you would never know if the way you interpreted it is how it was meant to be taken. I think Id feel incredibly vulnerable reading it. Whatever it said was so important it was worth dying to escape/prove a point.', 'You have some interesting thoughts. I agree that being self-aware makes evil possible but its a jump to say that it makes people evil. You are posting this in hopes of getting positive replies.I hear you taking on the worlds problems. Why dont you make an agreement with yourself to do things that tangibly improve your situation. ', 'Diagnoses are just ways of communicating the general trend of whats going on. You dont need to separate your identity from it because it doesnt exist.That being said you do need to get treated and take your meds. Thats a separate issue. Youre welcome to join us at r/schizoaffective for our weekly check-ins. :)', 'Why dont you call them?', 'yeah ok do that', 'Sorry I fell asleep. Therapy was a huge help. My doc made sure I was set up with the best because Ive had such a hard time with quack therapists. They charge too much to bullshit you, you know?', 'Depression is a fog, it distorts how we see things and seduces us into self destructing behaviors. I know this from experience. I guess I was luckier since my Mental Depression comes in episodes so I get a break now and then but 5 years is a ling time. Is there anything situational you want to talk about?', 'Im a 22 yo relationship virgin too, but Im a girl. People have even less sympathy for me because they say I could just have sex with anyone but it doesnt Irritable Mood anyone cares for me.We have to submit to a future we cant see yet and that takes incredible courage', 'Have you ever thought that your current situation is an enriching experience and a novel perspective on the world. Theres never been a great artist or poet who wasnt Depressed mood. Also your needs have the power to bring people together to love and take care of you.']",Behavior
user-287,"['If I could.. I would give you a hug and tell you everything its ok and that you are doing a great job at living so far. You are such a fighter!', 'thank you! :) you too.', 'i am sorry you were born in circumstances Hyperactive behavior this. Really, and your dad is an asshole. Ill say let me him pay for your college, do very well in college and become super proactive. Become super rich and then kick his ass and throw the money to his face. Trust me youll find people that deserve you and will love you. And i understand it hurts to see others family happy, but man, some us arent very lucky with a negative Irritable Mood and a pissed off feeling. Fuckem, you got a bigger battle to fight. Let your sadness become your drive to kick ass. They say revenge isnt good, shit....but it feels good!', 'fml. ', 'I feel ya. Same boat']",Indicator
user-288,"['You will be missed. I am thinking of you. I dont know you but it will still break my heart. This may not help you at all but I have had feelings of utter Sad mood where Ive felt so small and insignificant so I can understand a little of what you are going through. It was hard for me to feel Hyperactive behavior I made a mark on this world when the people around me do are not the supportive kind. What worked for me was actually opening up about my own problems and talking about it even though I was nervous and Social fear and had hesitations about what they would think of me. I said, Fuck it. Ive kept it in and was always the listener but that made me neglect my own needs. It seems Hyperactive behavior there is a lot going on in your life right now and you need to go to the beach or go do something that is just yours! Something that you enjoy doing and just spend a day focused on you. Once you start to feel Hyperactive behavior you are a little at peace and are a little motivated, the best thing you can do for yourself is to go talk to someone about how you feel. Talking to a professional or a friend you trust is so important! One day you will be stronger and someone will be sad and you will be able to hold them and it will Irritable Mood the world to them because no one else understands because of what you have gone through. I hope you will take care to keep yourself safe.Also Im going to say that you need to delete people who make you feel negative emotions, it doesnt make you a bad person to be selfish. Delete or ignore on facebook now, facebook makes it really hard to have boundaries. One of the things I am working on is learning to set boundaries for myself because I often let people walk all over me. This is something that might open your eyes as well and professional counselor can help you with this too. ', 'How are you now? Are you having thoughts of suicide? Im going to send you a PM and you can talk to me about anything or nothing but I can listen!', 'You know what would be cool for Reddit to have, chatrooms. At any rate thanks for doing what youre doing!', 'Your poem is so beautiful! It flows wonderfully makes me want to sing it. You should post it in r/Poetry', 'Losing someone you love is very hard to deal with and you have to let yourself mourn. This is the best time for you to focus on yourself and spend this time thinking about what type of person and boyfriend you want to be and work on that. You always wanted to try say snowboarding, so go and book a trip to the slopes! I know it is easier said than done too but this was what worked for me. Its going to be hard very hard for you to be friends right now. I would not suggest you be friends yet because it will continue to hurt. If she wanted to spend time with you then she should have stayed in the relationship and worked on it. Right now you need to do your best to be active and do things. Focus on yourself because who knows what will happen in the future. Sometimes when you let someone go they will come back so who knows? ', 'Ultimately I would agree with you that in order to begin the healing process you cannot do it on your own and seeing a professional can guide you whilst youre lost. However, we have negative feelings that are Hyperactive behavior and often when it is feasible to see a professional. Some people paint or take pictures instead of write because chase away the Stress until it becomes manageable.  While it may be relevant that some may not be cured by writing this same concept applies to taking anti depressant medication. Doctors recommended you focus on taking these medication to stay alive and the same applies to writing. If your negative emotions are overwhelming and writing them down keeps you from doing harm to yourself, that should be your first priority. ']",Indicator
user-289,"['My internal philosophy is really fucked up. I either live an original productive life or nothing. I am Nausea of failure. Im Nausea of being a parasite. I feel so weak. Its hard for me to describe. All these years Ive dogged on myself and abused myself through harsh self-talk and its all coming out. Thank you. ', 'Petty stuff. I need to organize and clean. I have books I want to read. I can barely get myself started because of the Anxiety Mental Depression. ', 'I will. I guess I am in a haze right now. I found myself tempted to look for my fathers guns. This isnt good. I try to convince myself nothing is wrong, but there is. Im sorry. Thank you guys. ', 'Thank you. To be honest, I am worried and overwhelmed as always. Theres so much I need to do right now. There so many things I want to do but if I push myself too far I end up in a nervous breakdown. My Anxiety Mental Depression is eating me from the inside out. ']",Ideation
user-290,"['what have you tried? theres always a way. If you choose independence yeah you might get stuck working long hours or have packed weeks, but that doesnt Irritable Mood your mind doesnt have the ability to be inspired and come up with music. Artists Hyperactive behavior you and I thrive and live off of what we enjoy doing. If it really is your life than youll find a way.I sympthathize with your Confusion and overwhelmingness though. Take it slow and easy. You have so much distractions and worries in your life for you to think clearly. I know you dont want to be in your position any longer than you have to, think of it as a testing ground, if you can get out of this then you can do anything.Its okay that you still live at your parents, its okay you feel defeated, its okay you dont have a gf, but you cant allow yourself to be comfortable/reminisce almost in your struggle.I got my fingers crossed for you ', 'money is a tool, its really only when we idiolize money Hyperactive behavior capitalists do, that becomes the issue. If you can remember that and learn to love/build your life not out of money then youll be okay.yes the world sucks and not everyone sees just what kind of mess we all are in. But you have music and the ability to warm, to soothe and to move people with your music. I can sympathize with you in regards to parent expectations. Thing is youre an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult now and more than capable of carrying out what you want to do.Their negative response to you when you dropped out of college I think was more out of care/concern for you. What parent doesnt want the best for their kid? not everyone is as so great as expressing that. No one is perfect not even parents and they have their own insecurities they struggle with every day.when you are ready you need to come at peace/acceptance with your situation and not let that cripple you from growing.you got this :)  *Everything I say is in good intentions, I dont Irritable Mood to come off as orderly or anything Hyperactive behavior that !', 'even you admit how it was such a tragedy that she ended herself, listing off her wonderful traits. I imagine you dont view yourself very positivity but to some other person maybe you do embody some very positive traits that they admire so much they would be sad at such a loss.butim sorry that you have to go through something Hyperactive behavior this at such a young age, I can hardly imagine. Really im here to just sympathize with you. Its okay if you broke down multiple times.Im free to lend an ear whenever you need it :) wish you the best today ', 'youre going round and round in circles because you dont try or risk anything else.when you make choices do you make them with 100% dedication or jump back if the boat starts to feel a little wobbly? ', 'hm :\\ well hey you arent alone in that thought, everyone feels that sometimes ']",Supportive
user-291,"['Homelessness is also dangerous. Specially for transgenders. I would hate for something awful to happen to you. The healthiest way to leave would be the ability to support yourself. You can do this.', 'Im here for you.', 'Were quite honestly trying to spread the word. There is such a stigma in th military, and the service is likely the one of the reasons a serviceman or woman needs help to begin with.', 'She should keep trying. Ive been homeless. Its awful, and scary. It makes you feel worse than you already do.', 'Happy birthday! I wish I could give you a present via thought. If I could, it would be a personal ball pit. With subwoofers.', 'Outstanding. Little victories can make all the difference in the world. Im proud of you.', 'Have you tried counseling lately? That way you dont feel Hyperactive behavior you are burdening your friends and perhaps can be pointed in some different directions that might help? I know that sort of thing can depend on location or resources, but it might be worth a shot if youre not speaking to a professional. Also, speaking g from experience. Harder drugs just make things worse. They only mask the symptoms momentarily. At least, thats what happened to me.  I only Chest Pain myself in the long run. I hope things get better for you.  Youre not alone in your feelings.', 'Im in counseling as well, and sometimes, it pisses me off. However, the more I go, the more I realize its helping.  I think your friends get sad because they care about you very much. I can also tell you care for them because you dont want to burden them. That means youre a good person too. ', 'No. Ive recently lost five pounds due to not eating as I should. Im just not Hunger and food doesnt seem worth the effort.. ', 'A lot of active duty folks dont know that fact, and I wish they did. There should be no shame getting help, and its cheaper to get treated than it is to discharge somebody with a ton of experience, and train somebody new.', 'I was give this to curb my aggression, and it has helped, but it almost feels that Im fighting myself when it comes to getting better.', 'Please, dont. When you are homeless, your brain switches to survival mode. After a long time, your brain rewires itself in a way and your ability to function in society goes way, way down. Is there any other option? Any possible way anyone, can take you in? I Irritable Mood anyone. Church members, maybe your dad? Keep trying to find a job.', 'I hope that my carbon molecules attach themselves to something nice. Like a tree, or a hummingbird. Although Im not suicidal, but I do understand the thoughts and desires for it.', 'I hope you get some help. You seem Hyperactive behavior a passionate person. Thats a good trait to have. You are not worthless. People who love deeply are not worthless.', 'Still in the beginning phases of Celexa. My Anger is way down. Side effects were Nausea and loss of appetite, but those sorted themselves out after two weeks.', 'I hope you are alive.', 'Even if you are in the U.S military, you can get help from a Vet Center and your command doesnt need to know, nor does it go on your record, so you can keep your job.Source: Former Military', 'There is no shame in taking care of yourself. Think of it this way: You can only have one car for the rest of your life. Are you going to drive it into the ground or will you try to keep it maintained? Nobody would think its selfish if you got your car maintained.You only get one body and one mind. They are yours alone. Please get some help.']",Ideation
user-292,"['A lot of stuff has happened. Im not even entirely sure of what the facts are, since both sides are determined to spin things their way. Also Im not really in the right frame of mind to verify all of this, and my recollection of the exact order of events might be a bit hazy. I should point out, Im biased towards the gamer side.The gist is that Zoe Quinn allegedly cheated on her boyfriend with several people, including a games journalist called Nathan Grayson. After her boyfriends post, a few youtubers (including a man calling himself Internet Aristocrat) picked up on the story and started raising questions about cronyism in the games industry.Some people investigated and found that several journalists were donating to Quinns Patreon account. Further rumours were uncovered about other people that Quinn had allegedly slept with, including people that had reported on Quinns games or judged her games in competitions.At this point, gamers started demanding answers, but many games journalists simply responded by calling gamers misogynists alledging that they only cared about Zoes relationships, because she is a woman.At some point, Joss Whedon sent a supportive message to Zoe. Curiously, the actor Adam Baldwin (who appeared in Firefly) also decided to weigh in (possibly in response to Whedons tweet). He tweeted a link to Internet Aristocrats video and started the hashtag #gamergate. Gamers started retweeting the hashtag, demanding answers.Now heres where it gets weird. A day after the hashtag was created, almost every game journalism site released an article with the message ""the gamer identity is dead"", all within a very short timeframe (about 2 hours). People started to speculate that the sites were colluding, and that was why their articles were all so similar. Each article accused gamers of being deeply misogynistic white men. As you might suspect this angered a lot of gamers, and was the event that really kicked off gamergate.The twitter battle has carried on since then. Gamers across a number of websites including 4chans /v/, reddit and tumblr, united to try and obtain answers. At some point, someone had the idea of trying to cut the journos funding, and so they started sending mass emails to the advertisers, persuading them not to support people that were trying to kill gamers.The entire thing essentially turned into a PR war, /v/ began policing themselves quite heavily, so as not to give the other side ammunition. Meanwhile the journalists kept up the Youre only doing this because youre racist misogynists angle.In response the gamers created the hashtag #NotYourShield. The idea was that female and minority gamers could stand up and refute the idea that all gamers were white men. Telling Kotaku et al. that they couldnt use gender and race as a shield to hide their misdeeds behind. This turned out to be quite an effective blow for the gamers, at least in the short term, it seemed to disarm a lot of the journalists arguments, but many of them still stuck to the misogynist line. I think now theyre claiming that the minorities on #NotYourShield are being controlled by white people on 4chan... somehow.At this point, the gaming websites have started to cave. Theyre trying to negotiate with the gamers, calling for peace, but it likely wont work. The article they published was somewhat insulting. It didnt really admit any wrongdoing.Now heres where it gets kind of conspiratorial. Throughout all of this, 4chan has been doing some digging, its difficult to know what info to trust, but they assert that a P.R. company called Silverstring Media has a lot of connections to gaming sites, and to game devs. Furthermore, Silverstring admit on their website to trying to push a marxist agenda. They have (or had) a lot of stuff on their website about trying to directly change gaming culture. Furthermore, theyre funded by a marxist thinktank called DiGra. Silverstring has links to both Zoe Quinn and Anita Sarkeesian (the creator of feminist frequency). Its speculated that theyre behind all of this.Some people on the gamer side have compared the journos to a cult, in the way that they keep pushing dogma but wont listen to reason. Also, theres a lot of people in the gaming industry who seem afraid to speak up. It seems that going against Silverstrings wishes isnt a good idea for any Indie game dev or games journalist.Keep in mind that theres a political element to this. A lot of figures representing the gamers are fairly right wing, including Adam Baldwin. Although the gamers themselves are, of course, all over the place politically.The journalists seem to be hiding behind a very Ventricular Dysfunction, Left-wing stance (which is unsurprising given the silverstring connection). Theyre essentially Social Justice Warriors.Thats quite a lot of info and I still havent included everything.Zoe apparently tried to sabotage a feminist charity that was helping women get into gaming, called The Fine Young Capitalists. 4Chan has been donating to them and submitting [character designs](http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/vivian-james) in order to make themselves seem more Ophthalmia, Sympathetic to women and feminists.The 2nd-wave feminist/anti-feminist Christina Hoff Sommers also got involved (on the gamers side). Oh and [this guy](https://twitter.com/IronBackhand/) turned up. Youd think he was just some random person looking for attention, but apparently hes some 80-year old, pro debater that spends most of his time on capcom-forums arguing about street fighter... or something. If youre really interested, his tweets give an interesting overview of the situation.None of this makes any sense. Its all just insane. Im not the first person to compare this to something written by Hideo Kojima. Im quite tired, so I apologise for any spelling/grammatical errors. And sorry for the length.I dont *think* Ill get shadowbanned, but some of this stuff has been quite heavily censored on reddit.None of this has any direct relevance to me, Ive been following it closely, but I havent intervened. The whole situation just upsets me. >My (rudimentary and probably incorrect) understanding of gamergate is that gamers have lost trust in the journalists.tldr: yes.', 'Ive been Depressed mood for a long time, and suicidal too. Im basically useless. Years ago, I dropped out of university following a Suicide attempt. Since then, Ive lived with my parents for the last half-decade. I have no job. Ive been to doctors for the sake of my mental health, but no treatment has ever helped me.Im extremely socially isolated, with severe Phobia, Social anxiety. I tried to combat it, and made some progress in the short-term, but eventually I failed and ended up backsliding. These days, I rarely leave the house. I have had no friends for a long time. I have never been in a relationship, nor do I ever expect to enter one.Recently I decided that I would try to be slightly less useless. I decided that I would learn C++, develop a game, single-handedly, and then try to sell it online.I knew it would take years, with just me working on my own, and I wasnt expecting it to be easy. But since sitting around wasnt going to help, I bought a few books on the subject, downloaded a compiler, and taught myself how to program.It took me a while to learn, but eventually I was making progress, figuring stuff out. Despite my lack of energy, things were starting to go well, I had programmed something that was almost beginning to look Hyperactive behavior the bare bones of a game.Then gamergate happened, and I just cant deal with it. For the past few weeks, Ive just been watching the only hope I had Ventricular Dysfunction, Left crumble in front of my eyes. The extent of the alleged corruption, the behaviour of the journalists and devs involved, it all sickens me. The worst thing is, I cant even distract myself by playing videogames because they remind me of whats going on.I cant develop any more. I just cant find the focus or the energy to do it.Its so stupid, but I think thisll be the thing that finally pushes me over the edge.Im going to wait until gamergate is over, just so I can see how it all ends. After that, Im going to kill myself. Ive had enough.', '>are there any other places you could see yourself applying your C++ skills?Maybe, I dont really know. I havent looked into it.Im sorry, but I dont see the point. I already feel Hyperactive behavior Ive spent too long enduring things. I dont want to keep on going.>And do you think you may have become competent enough in C++ to qualify for a programming job somewhere?I think Ive picked up enough knowledge to pass an interview, but I suspect itd be difficult to demonstrate competency without having contributed to any actual projects.', 'Theyll likely become less popular, as the trust has been damaged.The real problem that I face, is that many developers calling themselves indie, werent really independant at all.', 'You disagree, but without knowing my circumstances. Do you have any particular reason to believe that those statements are false? Do you believe that they are always false, under any circumstances?', 'Ive been thinking about it. I might carry on making it. At the very least Ill see how gamergate goes before I commit to killing myself. Then Ill have a chance to... evaluate things.', 'I have no idea at this point.The gaming media seems to ignore anyone that doesnt try to get into Silverstrings clique. Lots of devs seem to be afraid of getting blacklisted. If Silverstring are still around at that point, I could face some soft censorship. Persuaded to portray a certain political agenda, or risk having my reputation tarnished. ...Especially if they connect these posts to my real identity.They wouldnt actually be able to prevent me from selling a game, but theyd be able to make it difficult.If the gamers win, then Silverstring will hopefully be exposed and go away. Hopefully.Alternatively, Youtubers have been cutting into journalists profits quite heavily, or so Ive heard. So in a few years the old gaming media might die, and Silverstring might become irrelevant. Or so I hope.But Im quite disillusioned with the whole thing now. I just dont want to involve myself with it any more. I just want to die.Normal corruption almost feels *honest*, compared to this pushing an ideology stuff.', 'That sounds about right.Although AAA stuff has mostly been ignored.']",Attempt
user-293,"['That medication is a poison that will suck the life out of you and possibly destroy anything you still find dear to you.I am not the only one that feels this way.My personal recommendation is to stop taking that as soon as possible and try something (anything) else.', 'Oh wow, thats terrible..  Im very sorry to hear that.  I do think its great that you and ""J"" are there for her.  Thats certainly something.My opinion, Im not a doctor: Being that shes been Depressed mood that long, its likely not something that is just going to go away.  If she is opposed to medication, which many people are, then I believe that Therapy would ultimately be her best bet.As for what you and ""J"" can do.. Beyond what youre already doing.  Without knowing the individual I really wouldnt know what to suggest.  Um..  I know something that helped me was describing what the Mental Depression looks Hyperactive behavior, in my minds eye as I could feel it.  To me is alike a dark cloud in constant motion throughout my body. I know that really isnt much at all..  You two being there in her corner and supporting her is, i think, her greatest benefit right now.', '> hope about the situation getting better will hopefully helpYeah, definitely.  Until theres no hope at all, just keep hold of this.Im sorry things didnt work out the way you wanted.  But hey, this was the first big step. Now not only do you have someone possibly helping out, it also gives her more time to think about things.  That can only help at this point.So I wish you the best of luck, man.Ill be around.', 'Dont be sorry, this is the perfect place to get things Hyperactive behavior that out.  You should do it as often as you need.', 'Well.. You are government property, so that would be illegal. (Its true)While I have been on that brink more times than I even know..  Ive been so close that because of the hair trigger, one involuntary twitch of my finger would have sealed the deal.  Even still,I fight for anyone that wants to kill themselves.  And I even respect that its a personal choice.  I seriously do.  I cant help it..', 'Hey, you dont need to be so hard on yourself.  I agree thats a crappy situation, and sure.  I say why not give her a call tomorrow and just see if shes up for talking about whatever.But none of this means that youre a failure  It certainly doesnt Irritable Mood youll fail the music theory entrance exam next time either.  By then things could be going great for you.  Keep your chin up. Or try?', 'I am incredibly sorry that youve had such a difficult life.  I cant even imagine.  I thought my Schizophrenia, Childhood had been bad.  Im learning lately that mine was a walk in the park.I hope it helped for you to open up Hyperactive behavior that.  That first step took a lot of courage.  Were all anonymous here.  If you need someone to talk to in the future, Im usually here and I would be happy to.', 'Im in', 'I cant speak for the OP, but for me there was no one in my circles that could seem to understand.  Sure, you can talk about it.  Then those that dont understand look at you differently.  Then of course there are the people that think Mental Depression is just being sad about something.  So you should cheer up. In my experience, it can do more harm than good.', 'Have you had an increase in dosage yet?I only ask because there seems to be a fairly quick tolerance buildup and then it levels out.', 'Hey man, you know I thought about it.  I dont know the specifics, and I dont need to know them.  But just speaking in general, even if your words werent well received, she really shouldnt be angry.   You cant help it that you have feelings, right?I dunno, I think it will be all good.', 'Yes I do know.  Or at least I know my own Ache and Feeling despair over my life.  I dont know your Ache exactly, but I can share the experience.  I thought I was surely hopeless at one point.  I knew it wasnt going to get better.  For some reason I held on, and it did get better.It can get better.  and just a little better feels Hyperactive behavior happiness.', 'As far as I can tell, theres nothing overly malicious about it.  I wouldnt allow the java-script to run on my PC but I saw what it was and check for known instances.  It seems to be fairly benign.', 'Im very sorry that youre going through this and having to deal with those feelings.You have your appointment coming up.  If that goes well you should begin to feel better.Not every guy is good for every girl and the other way around.  Some people, guys, actually enjoy the other side of the spectrum.  I imagine that youre highly intelligent.  From what I have read about that, this makes things especially difficult.  But you really should feel better about it soon.I know that anything I say here will most likely not help all that much.  But I would at least try to not create versions of yourself that you cant possibly emulate.  Thats just a recipe for disappointment, no matter who you are.', 'May 11th, thats not too bad.  I Irritable Mood, Ive seen appointments out several months.But I wanted to say that Im real sorry about how things turned out with your significant other.  Like you say, youre having an especially hard time with it due to the circumstances.At this point, it seems to me youre doing great.  Youre actively seeking help, youre highly functional and here you are.Im not sure what advice I could give, but others may.  Besides positive thinking ..  It actually can help quite a bit.But just talking with someone about it Hyperactive behavior now could help a great deal.  I hope so.', 'I understand, but please know that things feel wrong and you feel Hyperactive behavior you dont deserve happiness, at least in part because you are surrounded by people that dont understand what youre going through.You do deserve happiness, and yes something is wrong.  You are in Ache, you are dealing with this, and you have no support at home.Try to keep that in mind, okay?As to the penis-analyzer I really have no idea.  Im probably one of the last to have no idea.  But I can certainly look into it if that would help?', 'You too man!', 'Im always willing to fill those out, but I removed all traces of myself from Facebook and other places a good while ago.  I do wish you the best of luck.And while I am sure you only have good intentions, and this isnt an accusation, I find it a bit dubious to require an entity Hyperactive behavior Facebook for your questionnaire when they have admittedly performed unauthorized psychology experiments on their users.  (=', 'Yeah, he doesnt sound very nice at all..I hope you feel at least a little better.  And looking forward to your appointment doesnt prove you have no life.  (=', 'Okay, cool.  Have you ever talked to a doctor about these feelings?  I ask because if you havent, it may surprise you in how much it helps.  Of course it depends on what you would respond to because everyone is different.  It may be a process.', 'Im in-between going Anger and allowing myself to despair.  Im not close to either right now.  Those are just to two areas that seem to be waiting for whats next.How are you doing?  I care about you too.', 'Yep, thats something.  (=Well Im sure around all the time and always ready to talk.  Is there anything  specific youd Hyperactive behavior to talk about?  Or just whatever?', 'Will you call me please.', '>  I just cant talk about this shit with anyone in real lifeI understand that.  I really do.If you dont feel that you can reconcile these feelings in order to continue with your day to day life, that may be necessary.  I have personally never been in any in-patient care.  I do know that I should have been at various times, but Im still here.  Assuming this is all real.I guess the biggest question is, will you next appointment come up before anything in your life is neglected?Also, do you feel you could possibly be a danger to yourself before your appointment?', 'Believe me, if I had been able to find support Hyperactive behavior this when I was younger, that would have been amazing.  And honestly, with any other problem at all I would be more than happy to take you up on the very kind offer.  This is one of those things.  Probably the only thing that I need to carry alone.  And with just having written those out - in addition to you reaching out Hyperactive behavior this, I do feel better than i did.  And Ive been here many times (emotionally / mentally).  I know its very easy to despair, and I do at times, but I have no doubt that things will be much better soon.', 'Oh I know where you are and its a messed up place, Im sorry.  Over the years I was blindsided a few times, losing insurance, getting it again and other crap.We call the brain zaps here the pines.  Its just about enough to drive someone Anger.   My current cocktail isnt so much Hyperactive behavior that.  I forget sometimes now and I notice it, but just enough to know I missed a dose and I take them.Im sorry youre going through that.', 'Wow.  How incredibly irresponsible of your doctor.  I wish you would try a different one.  They are supposed to know that people suffering from these problems are very good at ""faking"" it (I call it wearing a mask).Thats completely normal with Anxiety Mental Depression.  I just let the phone ring or turn it off some days.  Unfortunately, the people around you dont understand, so they have expectations of you that arent realistic.Would you be willing to try another doctor?', 'Okay, then youre familiar with it already.  Thats great.  That just means you havent had the terminology for what you knew.After discovering it wasnt going to be easy for me to define for you, since every step of the way it introduced more terms that needed to be defined as well, I decided that good ol wikipedia would do for now. (=*****Logic is the use and study of valid reasoning.  The study of logic features most prominently in the subjects of philosophy, mathematics, and **computer science**.Consistency, validity, soundness, and completenessAmong the important properties that logical systems can have:>    Consistency, which means that no theorem of the system contradicts another.>    Validity, which means that the systems rules of proof never allow a false inference from true premises. A logical system has the property of soundness when the logical system has the property of validity and uses only premises that prove true (or, in the case of axioms, are true by definition).>    Completeness, of a logical system, which means that if a formula is true, it can be proven (if it is true, it is a theorem of the system).>    Soundness, the term soundness has multiple separate meanings, which creates a bit of Confusion throughout the literature. Most commonly, soundness refers to logical systems, which means that if some formula can be proven in a system, then it is true in the relevant model/structure (if A is a theorem, it is true). This is the converse of completeness. A distinct, peripheral use of soundness refers to arguments, which means that the premises of a valid argument are true in the actual world.', 'I agree with this completely.  The happy times you will completely miss out on *are* actually worth the horrible times in my opinion.  And I have had many more bad times compared to happy.  Even having said that, I still say its worth it.', 'Is there anything at all youd Hyperactive behavior to talk about?  Last chance and all', 'Thats what I find so odd about being afflicted with these things.  It seems Hyperactive behavior a constant, heavy weight that is unrelenting and perpetual.I eventually came to realize that it was actually ever-changing.  Very small things can make the largest difference.I know you want to disappear and I know what you Irritable Mood when you say you would Hyperactive behavior to redo years of your life.  I would love that, too.I was lucky to have survived my time feeling very much Hyperactive behavior you do now.  Im not sure how I did.  But I am so thankful that I did.There are so many things I would have missed, just in the past year alone.  Just in the past 2 months alone.  Things have happened that I knew couldnt happen.  But they did.', 'Hey man.  Just Hyperactive behavior others have said, that happened to me at that age.  Its a terrible thing, because while were never really ready to experience that, having it happen at a younger age can make it seem all-consuming.All of those words having been written now..I wish I had the ability to properly express just how many *really freaking cool* things you have ahead of you.  And soon.Believe me.  You want to at least try to do this:  Put it off for 1 day. Get through tomorrow.  You will inevitably get through it, as I learned, because time passes.  I know how simplistic that sounds, but it can give you perspective.  You can get through tomorrow.Once you have, I would set another realistic goal (even though you may not want to.  at all,  I believe you will be happy you tried this).  Set your goal at 2 days.   Keep that goal at two days as long as you need.What should happen is things will become more routine.  Yes, school will most likely continue to suck.  However, youre obviously a very smart guy.  I bet you can think of entertaining ideas to pass the time.  Probably more entertaining than mine were.Thats my advice.  I wish I could put it to words in a more enlightening way.  Thinks should get much better, quite quickly.  Regardless of the crap you really dislike.  Because the fun things are still ahead, and they will eclipse the unpleasant routine.So, please consider that.  You got this.', 'Thats right.  (=No sense stressing, man.  Whats gonna happen is already gonna happen.  I can guarantee that no minute of additional Stress will change a thing.I wish you luck though.  Whatever youre looking for, I hope you find it.', 'You arent alone in feeling that way.  The important thing here is that distinction, that your friends say that you are smart and funny.  So whatever failings you feel that you have, they are all inside of your head, the rest of the world cant see that.  Thats something that would comfort me.  I could essentially put on a mask for the rest of the world and keep those feelings in side, which I did for a long time.  Once you see someone about this, they will be able to help you feel closer on the inside what you display on the outside.Then life gets much better.', 'Well Im certainly very sorry about your situation.  Thats is messed up.  Do you know how much longer your father will be in rehab?I think its great that youre looking after you little sister though.  Who would if you werent?Have you had a talk with your SO?  Like a serious sit down conversation about that?', 'I hope this isnt inappropriate, but that was absolutely beautiful.May I keep that? Ill attribute your name or any other name if so.And, for the record, I agree with the sentiment.  Thanks for posting that.', 'I certainly wish that you could talk to that person, too.  Im truly sorry that they cut you off.  What I do is probably pretty corny.  But Ill share it just in case you would be willing to try it.When I am feeling that way and I know there is no way in hell that I could talk directly to them, I will actually write them letters.  I will pour out my thoughts.  Sign it.  Put it in an envelope.  And put it in the drawer with all of the others.   And seriously, I feel better each time.As far as music?Almost anything you can think of.  During my darkest time I went searching for anything and everything.  And I enjoyed almost every bit.In general, most of my life, Ive enjoyed hard rock and metal.  And there was always a hip-hop influence in my circle.  I had diverse tastes to begin with, and I truly had no idea there were so many types of music now.  I went through 3 pairs of headphones during that time.  These I have now have lasted longer than any.', 'I wanted to follow up on my response because I regret adding my opinion to it.  Thats a bad habit of mine due to my feelings on such things and I really didnt need to muddle that with your efforts.  So I do apologize.That said, Im very happy to hear that youre getting a great response!  Best of luck you.  (=', 'One scars the exterior, the other scars the interior.  I believe either one is self harm.', 'Hey, no.  I dont think youre done.  I was on effexor for years, fml,  in my opinion its bad no matter how you look at it.  Its a horrible medication (all my *opinion*) .. Youll have to slowly ween off (directed by your doctor) or else youll get the weird brain pines.  But slow enough you can get that poison out of your system and take a more proper medication.You arent receiving any type of benzo for the Anxiety Mental Depression?  Do you mind if i Iask how old you are?', 'What do you think about forcing yourself to be sick, get that out and stop the nausea, and then talking about it first?', 'Ah, so you have a constant reminder in your life.  Well Im sorry about that.  That cant be easy.  Not at all.Since whats done is done, it will certainly be interesting to see what she thinks.  Like you say, you cant take it back now.  Probably the best idea of course, work on distracting yourself for the weekend.  Try to have a decent weekend in whatever manner works for you.  And hey, just see what happens after that.  I can understand that feeling.  Of being a bit Social fear of the outcome.  I hope that works out in a positive way.  But anyway, yeah.  Total distraction weekend.  ', 'Sounds Hyperactive behavior youre in the roughest spot possible in your family.  =/Im sorry that youre having to deal with the darkness at the same time.  I hope that venting the frustration helped a little anyway.  If you ever need to talk, Im usually here.  Bouncing around.  As well as many others.****I have to say - I Anxiety about you putting your Kik on here Hyperactive behavior that.  I know how that must sound.  And maybe you do that and dont have a problem, I dunno.  I just had to say it.  I Anxiety Hyperactive behavior that.', 'You are absolutely right of course.  Knowing these things cant change what you are personally going through.  And you have a right to feel Anger and I hope you feel just a little better after getting that out.The unfortunate truth is that going through this surrounded by people who dont understand requires compromise.  And its possible that you will be the one making all of the effort for a while.  Im only speaking from my personal experience of course.  I think its tragic that so many people dismiss this as though you are just sad.  That you are just feeling low.  I agree with everyone else who commented as well.Your family needs to inform themselves, but you may have to be the one to do it by printing out some literature on it and give it to them.  And keep doing that..  I dont know if that will work for you,  I have no idea what your family life is Hyperactive behavior.  Im only trying to help. Im not trying to make you feel worse at all.  I truly hope that you feel a bit better after opening up about it.', 'To answer your base question though, yes people come back from that.   Everyone is different and response to different methods differently, but eventually its possible to help you quite a bit.', 'Well, realize this wont be worth much and quite possibly wont be worth anything.  But, you have us.I can say that I have personally been in..  A lot of real bad spots.  So, if you want to talk about anything, I know that I would be happy to be there, as possibly others as well.I think its tragic and many other words that I dont know if you want to hear, when guys do that.  Absolutely selfish.  So I want to say that I am real sorry about that, your apartment, and the struggle youre in right now with Mental Depression as a single mother.Im no expert on any one thing.  But I know about hard times, being a single parent and most certainly Mental Depression.  So, Im here.  Im listening.', 'I dont feel you are fucked up in the head.  That would make me fucked up in the head.  Well, that could very well be true.  But not for that reason.To answer your question, Yes I was absolutely shocked.  Having been given the wonderful gift of suicidal thoughts and hopelessness at the age of 12, I grew up understanding the world in that perspective.And honestly, Hyperactive behavior so many others Im sure, the simple knowledge that at any time I could choose to do it is the only thing that got me through some parts of my life.Eventually, and much later in life that I would have hoped, that sort of went away.  For the past 4 or 5 years I have only considered it a handful of times.  Oddly enough, one of those times was during my very long night last night. (=What I am trying to say, in far too many words because thats one of my flaws, You are certainly not alone, as I am just the same.  Im sure were among many others here as well.', 'I absolutely agree.  Its a calming place.  Like the eye of the storm.  So no complaints from me.Im happy to hear youre okay.  The fluctuations can really get to you.  I think its really cool that you made this thread.  Was a very kind gesture.', 'Everyone is different in that its always something different that takes some of the Ache and difficulty away.For me, I learned it was loud music.  Very loud.  So loud I couldnt possibly think of other things, and I would let that take me away.  That was my thing.  Music.  Loud music.', 'And, really, they make it sound much more complex than it really is.  At the core it is for the most part, valid reasoning, as it says.  those words separately, and together.  But that list does very well to define the characteristics.', 'You are most certainly not alone.   Everyone is different, and their experiences are unique in many ways, but this is something I think most of us are very familiar with.  I know that I am personally intimately acquainted with that place.I cant tell you that I am in that place right now.  But I could tell you about times I remember out of more times than I can actually recall.I also have no doubt that at all that there are people on here right that are in that place with you now.  I hope that one or more find this thread.So, while I cant say that I am in the same place at this moment, I wanted to let you know that Ive been right there many times.I dont know if this will help or not.  I just wanted to give it shot.', 'Well good luck.  It sounds Hyperactive behavior you need to do it, so do it and take care of yourself. (=', 'Good people know that no one is ugly.I know that there are many people that see the inside shine through at the same time anyway.Plus there are so many people out there that are so insecure, for one of a thousand reasons,  the problem is, thats combined with an unnatural cruelty.  So they make fun of anyone within reach, and for a reason I dont understand, that makes them feel better about their wretched self.  They may even have good physical looks, but when i see them I just see the ugliness inside them.  My dislike for people Hyperactive behavior that is only matched by my pity for them.I am not trying to argue with you.  I dont dont know you of course.  There are just some wonderful people out there that dont see what others see when they look at themselves.  Ive met so many people Hyperactive behavior that.  They think they are ugly but just dont see that.  Unfortunately I have found its *almost* impossible for them to believe that.I guess Im just asking you to consider some of that.  And maybe some of it will help a little.  ', 'About how old is she.  Is she seeing a doctor about it?  If so, do you know if she is on medication?  Is there a specific thing shes Depressed mood about or is it Mental Depression in general?', 'Hey,  as for working out that was mentioned.  When I was in Drug abuse school I decided one day I was going to work out.  Bought a free-weight set and worked out every morning before school.  Im only describing this because that alone made me feel a lot better about pretty much everything.That said, I Hyperactive behavior to go for walks in the dead of night and collect my thoughts.I am a software dev by trade and a website dev in my own time.I have always been a gamer, usually hard-core.  Past year or so I completely lost the interest.  Which was a very new experience.  So I wouldnt end up just relying one thing.  (=', 'Yes, what youre going through is terrible, but its not abnormal.There are ways to create a balance without such highs and lows so that you can emotionally lead a more normal life.EDIT:  i guess a better question is, do you mind listing what meds you tried?(You dont have to - thats a curious question. Ive been on many)  And they didnt help at all?', 'Screw them.  There are a lot of insecure assholes in this world.Ill be a friend if you Hyperactive behavior.  Though Im not sure being my friend is a good thing or bad thing..  But the offer stands.', 'That was great.  Im new here, but I can imagine that you positively effected others by posting that.', 'Theres nothing wrong with coming here and letting things Hyperactive behavior that out.  Im glad you did.', 'Im so sorry.. I really am.  At that point, and I dont know where you are and dont need to, but I would look into state insurance if possible to see if you could financially qualify.  If you havent already of course.', 'I would Hyperactive behavior to subscribe to your newsletter as well.', 'I make myself eat a sandwich every day.  and I keep hydrated.  Thats good enough for me.', 'I absolutely agree.  I support freedom of choice.  I cant ever encourage someone to do that.  Its just not in me.   But I believe if someone wants to choose their own time, place and method that they should be able to.', 'Oh, great thinking.  Perfect.', 'Yeah no problem.  I just hope things start to get better for you soon.Best of luck man', 'Okay, so im assuming youve been diagnosed with ADHD, or similar, hence the Vyvanse.  That can be a problem.  That stimulates you. Like speed.  I can make Anxiety Mental Depression worse.  I say *can*.  It doesnt for everyone.Unfortunately its almost impossible to get a benzo Hyperactive behavior Valium, Xanax, Ativan when youre getting a stim Hyperactive behavior that.  I finally did, but it took many appeals.', 'I dont very often.  And honestly I only do when the Ache from old accident injuries gets too bad.But, I wanted to comment, because someone I care about a great deal just told me today that they are going to quit smoking because they do feel it could be a big reason for her mood change recently.So I have no idea, yet, but Im hoping thats what it is.  At least for her.  Thats all I got.  (=', 'Thats very kind of you and I appreciate it.  For me, it was more about putting that out in cyberspace than anything.  I need to get beyond this.I think its great youre willing to listen.  Unfortunately, this is one time I need to make the ride alone.  But I dont plan on being down for long.  And yes I want to help others.  Ive been doing my best to do so.  When Im not doing bad, it makes me feel good if I can do that.Im not trying to brush you off or simply dismiss your help.  Its very much appreciated.  I feel much better having put that out there and I can build back up as soon as possible.  Just took a good blow this morning / last night and I need to come to terms.Again, thank you.', 'I understand how you feel.  I think there are various ways, or even stages that we treat this overbearing suicidal tendency.  It can take several different shapes.  Right now you seem to be afraid that you could actually do it.Thats good, as odd as it may seem.  This means that youre aware that you dont want that to happen.Given that people inevitably succeed, and often, I do believe its a possibility.  I also believe that you dont really want to find out whether or not youre capable.Ive been on that brink so many times.  Ive raged at the failed attempts.  Ive Social fear myself so bad at just how close I came to succeeding one time that I couldnt stop shaking.Its a terrible path to be traveling. Do you currently see a doctor about this?  I honestly feel that you should.  Thats what got me back on track.  Primarily a cocktail of medication (which I am no longer taking, successfully).So if you havent done that yet, please consider it.', 'Yes.Just saying, I had pretty much given up.  In the end it was just too much BS and too much to feel.  So I Wasnt looking.  Didnt even go out anymore.  No desire to.  I thought I was content enough just Hyperactive behavior that.Then, seriously, Hyperactive behavior magic, she was right there in my, then, secluded life.So my advice, dont totally give up on it.', 'I see its been an hour since you posted, but do you still need to talk?  I have some personal experience with Suicide as well as a nervous breakdown.', 'I dont believe thats the truth.  Thats only your current reality.  That change change very quickly.', '> Anybody out there have anything to say?Yup.There are many forms it takes, and I have experienced more than I can count.  So yes, I do think that way.Are you being treated for this?  If not I highly recommend it.  It got me through, somehow, and now Im relatively fine.  And Im even off my medications.', 'Out of curiosity, how old are you?', 'Aw cmon.  We get to experience the entire spectrum of the emotional color field.normal is boring.  ...I do actually believe that.  That includes the women Im into.  They have to have a little of that Abnormal behavior going on.', 'If you have no one to talk to Im here.  Almost always.  As are many others.  Always willing to listen and talk.', 'Hey,  just chiming in to let you know that first of all, they are not necessarily permanent.Sometimes that can really help you make it through a rough period of time much easier.  You can be much more able to cope with this, your low points will most likely not be near as low.  I understand not wanting to resign yourself to having to take something Hyperactive behavior that for the rest of your life.  After figuring out what would work for me, which took a while, I took mine for a good 3 years.  Things improved dramatically, so I decided I wanted to see how well I would handle the same situation in life without them. So I tapered off of them, slowly, and gave my brain time to get used to functioning as it is.  That can take a while after taking medication, especially if youre taking multiple and have been for a good while.But, after that was all done, I realized that - wow - this is going to work.  I can absolutely function this way with my life as it is now.  So, Im very happy.  And I honestly dont know how I would have made it through that period without the medication.So, just offering my thoughts.', 'Heres one thing to keep in mind, that I had a difficult time believing.  Some of us are able to involuntarily mask our inner turmoil.  While I dont know what all youve said, no one can see what youre going through when you look at you.  They have no idea.And trying to explain something Hyperactive behavior this to someone that hasnt been through it is an exercise in futility.  Unfortunately.But thats what this place is for.  Do you mind saying what medication(s) youre on?', 'Well for me it was a great fit.In order to actually enjoy developing software you will need to enjoy logic in its purest form.  I always did, and I taught myself a bit of programming when I was young and I had fun.  So based on that I turned it into my day job eventually and I have no regrets.If youre interested, do a little research on the core principles of logic (which are fairly basic) and see if that interests you at all.  I only Stress this, because if youre developing software, you will be thinking as a machine, in logic, and eventually youll be planning steps ahead as you go.  Many people believe its boring, and I respect that.  I absolutely love it.', 'Okay, you do have people here you can talk to, so we can get you at least to your appointment.Its not good to cut, but I can assure you that normal people do.  You are not a freak in any way.  You are not evil. Youre in Ache and I understand.  What would you Hyperactive behavior to talk about?', 'Yes, I have a little 2 year degree (associates).  It wasnt ever the end-game plan.I started out at a community college to build my first 2 years of credits before I went on to a university.  When I realized that this wouldnt be happening I changed my focus so that I actually received some sort of degree for the two years, so its quite simply an Associates degree in the generic Computer Science. (=Not all that special.  But I think I ended up lucky in that I never actually needed anything more ",Ideation
user-294,"['Understood. What if you dont have a doctor nor the funds to accommodate one? And what am I supposed to say?', 'Oh I had that in mind when I read it sir, not to say I dont appreciate your expansion in the matter. Ive been watching old YouTube clips, listening to Kid Cudi and Im currently downloading Grandmas Boy. Just trying to sink back into the folds of my mind and get in touch with a simpler time. Your view on art is perfect btw, though I Hyperactive behavior to also think that great art sometimes has to leave room for interpretation. As in its made in such a way that different people will come to different conclusions based on their own individual circumstances. In that sense, some art has the ability to actually speak to you as a person without having to endear to a sense of collective. I sincerely hope I dont sound condescending. Just trying to express the reason I Hyperactive behavior art.', 'Thanks man! Im gonna give this a go. Ive already downloaded the Man on the Moon album and a few others and Im changing my nightly walks to daily. Also a lot more yard work. Maybe even a garden? Naw no garden lol. But Ill give my mind and I a change of scenery. Get myself outta this rut Im in hopefully. Youre a good person to have put all the time/effort into typing that. ', 'You Irritable Mood Carl Jung? Isnt he a scientist? Also Im pretty sure youve heard it before but the poem Invictus by William Hernest Henley has and always will be my favorite poem. If you havent read it, Ive got a feeling youd Hyperactive behavior it :) Thanks for reminding about that haha. And yes, the artists/authors vision is not always black and white. They show you what they see and let you come to your own conclusions. This can both unite and isolate people. And I resent the people that think theyre the authority on art. Like when they say that video games arent art. I Irritable Mood it really is subjective what you can consider art, I know. But to me, art is anything that can be taken for anything beyond face value. Hell, Id even consider nature art. It may or may not be made by some benevolent(is that the one that means nice?) being but it can still speak volumes about the individual that can draw inspiration from it. Art teaches me the difference between the intrinsically beautiful and ugly sides of life. It can preach morality without stepping up on a Drug abuse horse. ', 'Thats a very concise way to put it, thank you. I was going in the opposite direction with my explanation. Im going to google Carl Jung and download some of his work though. Ive heard of him before but can only vaguely remember his what he practices let alone what hes taught.Thanks for being a cool dude/dudette. Im logging off for the day to air out and watch Grandmas Boy :) have a great day man, Ill catch up with you later.', 'Youre right, United States. Thanks for the advice. Ill see to it as soon as funds become available.', 'I plan on doing that tonight. Thanks man and I appreciate your help :)', 'Youre probably right. But whats a GP? Haha']",Indicator
user-295,"['Youre not alone.  Were with you.', 'Hey there.Could you tell me your story?  Id be interested in hearing it.', 'Hey.There are a list of hotline numbers available for you to call if you need someone to talk to: /r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlinesWe want you to stay with us.  No one will be happier if you go through with this.  Please dont do it.', 'Theres nothing wrong with making new friends hoping they might point you towards that special someone.  But at the same time, by branching out and meeting new people, you might meet that special someone on your own.You still have more than half of your life ahead of you.  Its way too early to give up on searching.  There are people in their 90s getting married.  Its never too late.', 'Hi.Have you tried talking to a guidance counselor at your school, or one of your teachers?  They could get you some of the help that you need.', 'I know it might seem hopeless, but there are certainly other people in their 40s looking to make new friends, just Hyperactive behavior you.  You might find people with common interests that hang out with you every night, or just someone to talk to about the weather once a week.  There are a lot of people in the world, and I would bet that at least half of them are wanting to make a new friend with someone.  But youll never find them until you start searching.', 'The hotlines are there to get you the help that you need.  They can help you get counseling or connect you to other resources to get you back on track and find that next step.', 'Your father is fully capable of taking care of himself.  What you need to Anxiety about is *your* mental health and well-being.  Dont let your father scare you into not getting the help that you need.', 'Youre right, people dont suddenly become friends.  It takes time and common interests.  If you volunteer at an animal shelter, or a zoo, or a museum, you already have at least one common interest with the others that are working and volunteering there.  Given enough time, if you keep talking to the same individuals, its possible for you to become friends with someone.My grandmother has been living in assisted living, and still manages to make new friends just by seeing and talking to the same people everyday.  Youre never too old to make new friends.', 'Hey.Have you talked to a guidance counselor at your school, or a teacher?  Talking with someone one-on-one instead of with your whole family could be more productive.', 'Most people that work at hotlines are volunteers who arent paid.  They do it not for a paycheck but because they care about you as a human being.Please give them a chance.  They really do care about you.', 'Hey.Have you considered joining any clubs, or doing any volunteer work?  Working at something Hyperactive behavior an animal shelter, soup kitchen, or food pantry can be a great way to meet new people and make some new friends.', 'Hey.If you need someone to talk to, Im willing to listen.  Whats going on?', 'Families are being started later every generation.  Theres nothing wrong with starting a brand new family in your 40s or 50s.  You might think that time is running out, but its not.  Theres so much time still Ventricular Dysfunction, Left for you to do all the wonderful things a couple and family can do.Youre only 42 years old.  Thats still young.  My dad is 64 years old and still does all the yard work, house maintenance, and construction you can think of.  Hes active and plays tennis and basketball every week.  My parents go out on bike rides all the time.  Theyve been going on trips to places Hyperactive behavior Disney World and Savanna, Georgia.  Theyve been doing wonderful things that couples do.Theres nothing you can do in your 20s that you cant do at age 42, or age 50, or age 64.', 'Are there any after-school clubs or sports that you might find interesting?  I have met a lot of new friends by going to clubs with people who had similar interests to me.  Im sure theyd love to have a new member join.If you just need someone to talk to, your school guidance counselors are there to listen to you.  Please go talk to them about what youre experiencing; they are there to help you.', 'Hey.If you need to talk, Im willing to listen.  Whats going on?']",Supportive
user-296,"['You are not too nice, being nice is a virtue and nothing else. Of course you can have too much of certain things related to kindness; you can be too trusting, generous, etc. - but kindness is not your hindrance. The issue here is that your heart has been broken in a bitter way. Do not let this bitterness seep into your character and destroy your strength, benevolence, and character. Keep those things safe.Do not let her memory ruin your life either. You loved her for the good parts of her character and for who you thought she was. Now you see clearly that she is not someone who you want to be involved with, and that is enough. Just step back, take care of yourself, and let things run their course. This Ache will pass soon enough.How do you think this event has affected your character traits?', 'You are not in a right state of mind, anything you do right now will be a mistake. Call 911, get help, and put the gun down.', 'You are your own person with your strengths and weaknesses. You are articulate, and you are open about your problems; you are observant about your short comings and are taking notes on other peoples strengths. There is a method to your madness, and the underlying pattern is a strong one - those are virtuous traits I see in your writing.So your friends have talents - you can have these talents too. You can be great at what you want. You can get good at math through practice, become funny through consistent flailing attempts at humor, you can be successful with hard work. You will do all of these things and they will make you feel better.I also must emphasize being the number is not the most important thing; the important thing is to be the best person you can be. Just try to be your best and love yourself for it. We all love you and we do not even know you! You will certainly find happiness if you keep at it my friend.', 'Tell me how it goes. Remember; it will all be okay in the end.', 'You are not blind or stupid, you are troubled and exacerbated. You should never feel ashamed of being those two things, they are what make you human. They are important feelings that will give you drive to become the person you want to be. What kind of person do you want to be my friend?', 'What do you think is holding you back?', 'You have my condolences.', 'Your mother is strong and she can carry many burdens. What is important now is all that matters now, and what has to happen is for you to beat your Mental Depression, and the only way to do that is to fight it head on, day after day- pulling yourself up every time it beats you down.Fight your Mental Depression ferociously for your mom, if not yourself. Nothing would make her happier than knowing her baby is taking steps to correct his heart ache. She would be happy to see you weightlifting again. She would be happy to see you place yourself into a position to gain confidence requisite for blooming into an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult.Go forth and prosper.', 'Not killing yourself for your dog is the most beautiful thing I have hear all day.Do you a psychiatrist, or medication? Also what are your lost hobbies?', 'Oh and rest assured you will! People are become exponentially more open minded. You will find many people who are more open minded as you continue your travels. You will also meet many fellow queers Hyperactive behavior myself! Are there any LGBT groups in your area?', 'are you comparing yourself with your ideal self?', 'What happened?', 'From you outward works, you are the person I would love to be once I graduate college. Articulate, accomplished, and hardworking - everything that I am lacking!You are a wonderful person, and you are going to be successful in whatever you do.  I would recommend slowing down a little bit, put all of your surroundings into the present perspective. Dwelling on the dark veins of the past is not healthy if it kills your spirit, so dont let it mottle you. Learn from the past, and use that knowledge wisely - with compassion for yourself and other - into practice. I would recommend letting your fianc\xc3\xa9 know how you are feeling, there is no reason not to. Partners, especially a spouse or soon to be spouse, need to support one another, so help them god. Dont you agree?Stay in there girl, you will make it. P.S. what is your fantasy novel about? I am a dungeon master and I am very interested in the subject. ', 'Intrusive thoughts are the worse kind of thoughts; they are ugly and stubborn. You should not Feeling despair though, because this can be overcome. These intrusive thoughts will disappear with properly applied actions. There innumerable resources, therapies, and practices that can help you deal with these soul crushing thoughts.I would strongly recommending building a base of coping strategies to deal with your intrusive thoughts when they emerge. For example if you start feeling bad about your body - go for a run. If you hate yourself for not doing charitable works, go online and counsel on r/Mental Depression or r/Suicide. Keep building these strategies until you have routine that can put you on the track to happiness. My personal favorite way of dealing with unwanted thoughts is  meditation, which causes me not to think at all. Usually if I stop thinking for a while, my disturbing thoughts will disappear for a time, and I will feel much better. What kind of strategies do you think would appeal to you? Name a few.Also, I do not know how much you have read on the  intrusive thoughts, but they are a common phenomenon. Check out these resources.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thoughtshttp://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/am-i-normal/201110/intrusive-thoughts-normal-or-not', 'There is nothing rational about continuing to live, or choosing to die. The question you are asking does not lie in the realm of reason. This is because all the variables  you would construe to make an argument are based off the irrational impulses wrought by an irrationally silly human mind.The truth is that life is a banquet. It is a feast of unparalleled complexity. Of course some of the dishes are served cold, and there are many crumbs Ventricular Dysfunction, Left at the end of the banquet; but the overall experience is bar none a most stimulating one. You will return to the void, or whatever construes the afterlife, whether you kill yourself or not. In the meantime, beat your Mental Depression and regain your appetite for life. ', 'An intelligent person Hyperactive behavior you will not stay impoverished for long, especially once the economy picks up. It is okay to be slow to start on your road to success. These things take time, you will get better.You feel as though you are changing, and you dont Hyperactive behavior the way you are changing. What changes have taken place in your life recently that have you so down on yourself? You are admirable in your dedication to education and art.', 'Well thank you too!', 'I lost my best friend to Mormonism, so I know exactly how you feel. Do not be too angry, friendships need to be appreciated in the moment - because eventually they must end. I am very sorry for your loss though.Try to get better for in the meantime. ', 'When did you lose these things my friend? Was there a sudden cause for this change? Or did come on subtly?', 'Like something that you can still do. You can still succeed. We are all rooting for you.', 'My mistake. Well at least you have the welding skill under your belt. Knowing things is good - makes your brain sharper.Well metal art is something to look forward to. The world is never as bleak if you have art. Art always gives us a mission, a reason to live. Maybe you will consider that instead of Suicide?', 'See! You are a wonderful person with gumption and potential. You are going to have a very interesting life. Youve just been a little overwhelmed by injustice, but that is okay. You will do well in a few years when you fly the coup and go to warm place that suits your temperament. Dont you think so?', 'I am glad to hear you exercise, that is a very good thing. You undervalue you usefulness on r/Mental Depression and r/suicidewatch; subscribers of those reddits rarely want anything in particular; they just want people to listen to their problems. But I digress, you should look for some activity that will make you feel better. Perhaps pursuing a goal. Do you have any great aspirations?Those things aside, you sound Hyperactive behavior you are functioning fairly well externally. So it begs the question; what do you think is causing this circle of self hate that is bringing you down? What is the source of this anguish?Also, please do not feel certain that Suicide is the only way out. There is no way of knowing what lies in the future. Like so many before you, you can beat Mental Depression. Please keep on looking for positive solutions.', 'Damn, you have my condolences. That is fucking terrible.  But damn Suicide is a poor choice. There is still a whole world; a whole world that you can make better. The world will be a better place if you stick around, for better or for worse. We need strong folk Hyperactive behavior yourself, we need you.', 'You do have something to offer the world, it just is not obvious right now. Do have any hobbies or passions?', 'Lol, in the night I had an image of you as some handsome looking young thing, then as black robed, skull faced, crypt lord playing a wicked drum solo. Then as both.', 'Those sound Hyperactive behavior excellent professions! What kind of things do you write? I ask because I write role playing games in my spare time. I love writing.', 'You deserve as much understanding as you give others. You are a person, and deserve to be treated with love and respect - both from the outside environment and from within yourself. The question then becomes, how do you think you can achieve equilibrium? What traits, practices, ideas, etc., will break you free of your self hate? What is the source of this self hate?  ', 'What did he tell your parents?', 'Elegy For A Lost Soul and your piano pieces are exceptional.  They sound Hyperactive behavior the feeling you get when you look over a vantage point across a city; then think about all of the tiny struggles, aspirations,  and adventures all these little human beings are having. Elegy For a Lost Soul feels more personal though, sort of Hyperactive behavior going through lifes labyrinth with all of its sorrows and joys and not really knowing what to do but to whistle a tune of some kind. I probably sound silly, but is that what you were trying to put into these songs? Also, Elegy For a Lost Soul has got that old school Zelda feel to it alright, but that is a good thing and I am sure you would agree. Also, my mom liked your music.  Except for the rap one, she did not Hyperactive behavior that one bit. lol.', 'I read your post, and you are not a failure. You will move past these powerful tribulations. Committing Suicide however, will squelch your bright future and burden your family with unfathomable, character destroying grief. Your Suicide would be forever lacerate your loved ones lives. Do not do it.', 'Thank you for sharing. Stories Hyperactive behavior yours are what make people contribute to this forum.', 'I am very saddened; you have my sincerest sympathy. Romantically speaking, perhaps a drought may be what you are going through. However, I must emphasize that even droughts pass; so long as there is land to bear the rain. Let there be land to bear that rain; do not commit Suicide.You want self confidence, and believe me, somewhere within you there is heaps of it. You must put yourself into positions that pull this part of you to light. Volunteer at your local soup kitchen, attack  or create a passion, put yourself into a responsible position. This will build your self esteem, it will build your character, and it will increase your sway over lovers. You do not throw off Mental Depression by staying strong underneath its tremendous weight. You beat Mental Depression by building a support system, both internally and externally,  that takes it off your shoulders.Where you are is not a good place. Can we brainstorm a strategy that I will set you on your path away from this cloud?', 'No come on man, you can do it. Call a hotline, talk to a person. ', 'If you do not Hyperactive behavior your voice, you can change it with exercises. Some practice will smooth out that drawl.Your voice does not sound as bad as you think due to the same reason photos always seem less attractive than your reflection in a mirror. You prefer the images and sounds you are accustomed to. You are not accustomed to your voice outside of what you here in your own day to day speaking, so it seems repulsive.', 'That is unfortunate. It is not a good think to be labeled. However, in a few short years most of that will stop. Also Drug abuse school you will be able to reinvent yourself to some extent, so you can look forward to that.', 'I am sad that a wonderful person Hyperactive behavior yourself is going through so much Ache.  You do not deserve to beat yourself up so, you are an exceptional human but one with faults, Hyperactive behavior anybody. You might have some setbacks now, but everyone has them, and it is no shame to find yourself searching and wandering for equilibrium in life. You have my love. Now I am curious, why do you think the more we change the less we feel? I have felt this same way recently - but how have you been feeling about this change?', 'Suicide is not the answer though, remember there is a lot of people who love you and are willing to support you. I am a queer as well, but live in San Francisco - and let me tell you; over here there is no discrimination. It is a non-issue if someone is LGBT, and there is only love and support for our minority. Eventually you will get away from this poisinous environment, and will be able to right the wrongs that have been inflicted onto our community. ', 'Did the psychologist know you are suicidal? If so, he may be legally obligated to contact your doctor, who in turn called you parents at his discretion, if you do not show up for a session.Your parents say unhelpful things because they are scared, all you can do is forgive them. It would be a fine idea to tell them that their remarks of that nature are Depressed mood you, and that they need to stop in that regard. We care about you. Your parents, your physicians, me; everyone. Do not commit suicide.EDIT: [your psychologisy] may be legally obligated to contact your doctor, this is why he did not call your parents directly. Also if you are on your parents medical plan, the doctor may have been legally obligated to contact them, since they are in charge of the medical plan.', 'Koji Kondo is fricken refreshing and unique musical treasure. So talented.Japan has been pumping out some incredible arists that last couple of decades. Have you ever heard of Joe Hisaishi? He is down the ally of Koji, just more orthodox (in a good way, to be sure). Check out this joint; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEDVsUDRuRY', 'That is good! I bet you will look even better in another year. Mid-twenties is when all the facial features mature, and people finally fit into their skin. Same with the thirties, so long as you have been working out. Then you hit the blessed 40s and 50s, and it doesnt matter what you look Hyperactive behavior, because you just look naturally wise and calm.', 'All that can be said is that neither of these people are worth committing Suicide over. Since your friend did this, and your lover acquiesced, we see with certainty is that these relationships were not meant to be. These relationships would have died regardless, so do not utterly succumb to your rightful grief - this tragedy is only a early bitter end to an inevitable disintegration.Anger against your mind boggling negligent betrayers is misplaced. Human sexuality is a crap shoot in a crap house, and  chances are good that your former friends will emerge from their relationship covered in shit and short of money. They are, for lack of a better word, stupid; we can be understanding towards them on that one account.', 'Take some deep breaths to sooth the tightness in your chest - maybe go and some vigorous exercise if you are so inclined. Do whatever makes you happy too, that always helps. Okay, so misinforming your parents might not work out, but that is okay. They wont be Anger or disappointed at you for long. If you lied in the past just tell them how ashamed you felt about failing them, and that this Guilt caused you mental instability, which lead to many maladaptions - including lying. Worst case scenario  is that you take a break from college, which is something many people do. My father may he rest in peace, took 10 years of meandering to get his bachelors - but still became wildly successful later in life. So I must emphasize; the problems you face are great,  but they are very fixable . Let things run their course - everything will straighten itself out  in the end.How did the test go?The best way to make this Anxiety Mental Depression go away is to come clean with your parents. I do not think they will be too Anger or dissapointed - and if they are they will forget their misgivingings with just a little bit of time. ', 'Well, then that is not very good, but hey, that is okay. Your just starting your Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult life, so there are many things to look forward too. You can look forward to moving away right? Ever thought of living in the Bay Area my queer friend?', 'Everyone hates themselves to some degree; this self loathing gives a lot of people the drive build their own character and to attack the reprehensible parts of themselves.If you cannot learn to love yourself for your faults, then the next course of action is to attack the faults that most denigrate your character. So this begs the question; what are your most glaring faults? How can we smooth and buff those issues out of your character?', 'Oh I am so happy you have found a therapist! And a lesbian to boot! How are you feeling now? Everything copacetic? ', 'that is alright to feel that way, and I am glad you are not going to commit Suicide. Like TigerHunter said, we cannot control our feelings, all we can do is learn to understand and cope with them. I am sure times medicine will heal this particular wound good and clean in the years to come.', 'Is that not already on the path of the solution? To study, and to better yourself; these are virtues. However, what you are studying seems not to be making you happier, which means it is time to expand your horizon. What part of life if studied in greater depth do you think would make you happier and wiser? This is the great question.', 'But I bet you will feel them again my friend!', 'I was an outcast at my school too. I did a lot of drugs, failed academically, disgraced my family, had no friends in my school; you know the deal. Anyway I would just Hyperactive behavior to reassure you that it will get better.My friend struggled with Mental Depression all throughout his school career, and he swears that at the moment of graduation all his struggling and suffering ended, and the sun shined through the clouds onto the podium where he took his diploma. The school band playing angelic trumpets all the while. Like my friends opinion of himself, what he says is grossly embellished, however it still rings true. High school is Hyperactive behavior mud; it tarnishes all that is different from itself. Right now you are muddy, but dont Anxiety; there is a nice hot shower coming around the corner.Until then be content to hose yourself down. Remember everyone you know in highschool will go their seperate ways in a few short years. Remember everything they do to you is ephemeral, and the only real damage they inflict is the damage you let get you down. Continue doing what you love, because though in Drug abuse school being authentic is scorned, in the real world it is one of the highest virtues of enlightened peoples. Dont let the bullshit ruin your shoes! Keep going strong.', 'I understand that feeling, it is a powerfully authentic one that is full of conflicted emotions. Why do you not feel Hyperactive behavior yourself? Why is that you feel Hyperactive behavior you are performing?', 'Oooh yes you can travel with that degree, they always nee nurses in some part of the world. That minor in Spanish too is excellent, the way the United States is going now especially; an education in Spanish language and culture is a must. Where you thinking about travelling though? South America is a scary place if you ask me. (of course, maybe you are going to Spain).', 'Time for a change. What can be done to get you out this funky state my friend? Therapy usually helps, and I have seen medication do great things. Are you doing any of these regimens?', 'Why are you choosing right now to end it? Especially since are so close to getting your BS? Why this moment when things are about to open up for you?', 'There are people who also love you. I am from the Bay Area; the land of San Francisco, Silicon Valley, and Berkeley. Out here there is only love towards gays. They are even considering renaming SF airport after Harvey Milk. Eventually you will be able to leave the hateful place you are now and come to one of the more metropolitan areas where tolerance and diversity is king. Also, that being said, you and I will see homophobia die and dissipate in our own lifetimes. Pretty soon we will not have to feel ashamed! Our progeny can be happy with themselves. We will do it!Do not commit Suicide, stay strong for the sake of gender/sexual minorities everywhere. We are in this together - and we all have your back.', 'Things will get better. You will be able to repay your mom soon enough with your degree - the market is just a little Thirst right now and you are fresh out of college so expect lean times for a little while longer until the economy ticks back up again (which it is).That your girlfriend Ventricular Dysfunction, Left you Hyperactive behavior that is not good - but dont kill yourself over it. It was not meant to work out, this is true for most meaningful relationships. Just appreciate the good memories you are Ventricular Dysfunction, Left with, reflect on the lessons taught, and keep your eye on the horizon. At least your partnership didnt fall apart after the two of your were married with kids!Why do you feel Suicide is the answer?', 'People will not always manipulate you. Eventually you will be able to move away from those people who take advantage of you, or learn how to avoid their pervasive advances.What set you off today? Anything in particular?', 'Keep talking with your school counselors. Keep working hard at your school work. All you can do is your best.I would just Hyperactive behavior to emphasize if the worst does occur, it is not the end of the world. One of my alumni spent two years at a local community college before transferring to Harvard. My point is you still have a lot options if things take a turn for the worse. Also, what school you go to is not a serious issue in the long run so long as you are motivated and competent. You sound motivated and competent so do not Anxiety.', 'That is a hurdle you are facing, but I think you can rest assured things will work out in the long run. If you fail a class here, lose a couple thousand dollars there, it is no big deal as long as you continue on stalwartly. This is because in the context of a lifetime, failing a class and losing money in college is only a blip - the whole of your college career will eat up less than 5% of your life, and the money you spend will be even less than that. Of course there is your parents ire, and that is serious - however it is out of your control. If they cannot accept you for your faults then it is because they are wanting - not you.  Better times will come my friend, do not kill yourself.', 'I do not know if this reddit will have as much to offer you as others, so be sure to shop around for advice.Since do not have enough information to council you, let me ask you something ; If you had to do it right now, what would you say and what do you think the outcome would be?', 'The University of Life is an excellent program, it is good to hear you are enrolled. I think that is a good thing that you are bit stubborn with your art; after all, your are art has to be you. You cannot always  let it be shaped by outside influences. What kind of art do you do?', 'I think if you understand that your thoughts are ridiculous, then that fact a lone should keep yourself from taking your own life. Many people, especially at our age, are consumed by internal turmoil caused from both psychological and physical problems. Hormonal imbalances, new Phobia, Social experiences; all of these things Attention Deficit Disorder up in our younger years. It adds up, but eventually it evens out; and it goes away as suddenly as it came.Try to stop your Phobia, Social situations from depressing you too much. These things change rapidly in Drug abuse school. You may find your situation wanting right now, but it will change for the better. I can promise this.Also I have a question. Do you often find yourself inviting your friends to hang out, attend events, etc.? I have found that people, young people especially, tend not to pursue socializing unless there is ready transportation and fun activities. If you pursued socializing with them, you may find that they are very glad to accept your invitations.Also, have checked out r/LGBTeen or r/Bisexual?  I have found these reddits extremely comforting, and refreshing, even though I do not participate in them often.I apologize for missing the fact you were closeted, I do not Irritable Mood to seem un-thoughtful; I am just not very thorough. ', 'School Indifferent mood does not make you a stupid slacker; it happens to the most hard working among us. Do not Increased Sweating it.', 'I am really glad to hear that you have such a good goal. Keep at it.', 'If what I understand is correct, you hate yourself when you dont let yourself fail, then you hate yourself for hating yourself, then you hate yourself for having Mental Depression. My brother, you know this way of thinking is not correct; its logic is not cogent and there is no reason in its character. Use introspection to discern a wise way of looking at yourself and the world. Do not use the reactionary sort of introspection that labels things as insubstantial or bad; use the clear introspection that is cool and compassionate. Look at yourself as a gardener would look at her last remaining rose bush after a late frost. The gardener tends to the rose carefully because it is all that she has. The rose maybe twisted and blemished, but she forgives that roses imperfections as numerous as they me be; because on that rose all of her happiness and dreams lie.So I beg you to treat yourself with understanding. Remember self loathing should not be taken personally, but be seen as call to action. You should ask yourself ""What can I do that will start moving me out of this Mental Depression as soon as possible?"". Whatever it is, it is does not to be big. Just make another little step in the right direction; that is best, most noble thing you can do. I see you offer advice to people on r/Mental Depression, keep doing that! Do you not see that you are valuable for that singular service? You are a good person and deserve to be happy. Please do not commit Suicide. Please. For now, let us, you and I, go about offering encouragement to our brothers and sisters on r/Mental Depression and r/suicidewatch. Doing that service is valuable, and will make us both feel better about ourselves and our relationship to the rest of the world.', 'You might not be the best, but that is okay. Making art is about giving back - not making the prettiest piece. You can only every give back what you give - no more no less.Even if your work fails, try to be satisfied with yourself. You will make mistakes and fail sometimes in this life. That is okay too. The important thing is that you keep giving back what you can and that you are happy.You say you are studying. Are you a student?', 'I  just wanted to let you know  I read your post and my heart goes out to you. Do not think it gets worse from here, it will get better. Middle school was the worst time in my life, and for most of my peers. When you grow older people will not yell as much, and people will hardly tease you at all. Even if they do, you will be stronger by then and outside influences will have less of an effect of you. This is a trial for your spirit; stay true to yourself and you will emerge a bona fide woman.', 'Come on man, I got love for you. You need to stay up and stay safe.Really terrible things happen in this life, horrible awful things that arent even proper to speak of, but folk still get on through with a lot of smiles and laughs. You gotta stay around, and make things better for yourself, and find those smiles again. You can do it.', 'You dont care about what people think, but at the same time they influence you greatly. Why do you think that is? Also, why does not caring this much cause you to feel Hyperactive behavior a teenager? It seems Hyperactive behavior not caring about others think would have the opposite effect.', 'Depression is obscuring your direction. You must accrue a passion, something to put yourself in. Put yourself in a position to become happy or inspired. What do you think might draw your interest? What could give you direction?Suicide is to terrible to imagine. Please spare yourself. Remember that Mental Depression is a disease that can be cured; but Suicide is a tragedy beyond anything.', 'That is terrible, I hope things get better for you and your family. You are not useless, you are a husband and a father who has a sense of responsiblity. That counts for something in my book.  ', 'We love you. Do not commit Suicide.What you are experiencing is call suicidal ideation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicidal_ideationDont ever believe these are your own thoughts, they are from a small fickle place in your brain. They will most likely pass.', 'Whats on your mind? Why do you think your mom is Anger at you for losing the girl?', 'Dont let these setbacks kill you, literally. If you want to get into the welding industry you certainly will, just keep sending out those applications. remember, it will be all worth it in the end; the United States is short tens of thousands of welders, so you should know your skills are valuable (it would be a damn shame to lose an asset Hyperactive behavior yourself  if you ask me; we need more welders!). Check out r/welding; there is a lot of experienced welders with strong opinions on there that may help you. It has certainly helped me understand the welding trade which I am learning to be a part of.You will get through this, and it will be alright. Just take a second to breath and chill; appreciate that you still have your two legs to bear you and your two hands to build your aspirations.', 'You bet, you would love it. A lot of spanish culture too. What are your interests? Whatever they are we have them.', 'Its good to feel good about your weight. The Mental Depression diet may not be the best, but hell you gotta look at the good. With that exercise too, sheesh, I bet youre stunning. Dont you agree?', 'I am moved by your post; you have my sympathy and condolences. This is the right place to post this, its good to get these things out of yourself.What are some things that you have been passionate about in the past, my friend? Those too are important to get out of yourself, especially if you want to care about them again.', 'But you can look forward. Things will change for better or for worse. You could look forward to moving with this change. Making friends, improving yourself,  and trying new experiences for example. All of these things can come to pass.', 'Certainly, young looking people age the most gracefully - Hyperactive behavior when polish something nice and slowly. I must go to bed now, perhaps I will see you in my dreams!', 'I assume people Hyperactive behavior you because you are a good person. Depression has a way of obscuring the way we truly are from ourselves. You focus on the negative,  but the negative is not the whole of reality. You must look at the positive too.Also I must emphasize that the right women will come. There are always Thirst spells in the  game of love; you must be patient and give these things time. Suicide is such a tragedy, it is the greatest bereavement any group of people can face. There is nothing more terrib",Supportive
user-297,"['I havent tried to commit Suicide since March 2013.  I still have suicidal thoughts.  But, I havent tried again.  I hope somebody gets involved soon.  And, I hope you dont get a 5150/involuntary commitment if they find you before your sleep.  Involuntary commitment/72 hour Suicide watch can be more damaging to your future than I wouldve ever believed.Id love to show compassion, but I dont know why you felt Hyperactive behavior taking a bunch of pills, or what kind of pills you took.Ive been there, and am suicidal often.  So, if you need to talk to somebody Im willing to try.', 'I dont want to sound Hyperactive behavior an asshole, but two friends sounds awesome.  I have none and Im still trying.  Im $36k deeper in debt because of a ""Licensed Clinical Social Worker"" that was unlicensed at the hospital I was taken to.  My insurance company claimed my ""condition"" was pre-existing.  Ive never been diagnosed with anything.  My insurance company sent the pre-existin-condition form to the admitting physician.  Right now, my goal is to tell that cunt and liar doctor that I paid off my debt and they lost their license because of me.  Not plausible, but its a goal.  I hate both of them, BAD.  And, if they believe in their bullshit, they WIN!  I fought hard and Im not dead.Sounds Hyperactive behavior a petty life.  But, Im alive and I have a goal.', 'Too bad.  We cant be friends.  Ill still try to listen if you need somebody to talk to.  I am suicidal as hell.  Calling my father helps.  He got Social fear as shit once and called the cops.  When he learned that it didnt help and started costing me money, he started listening.  Its been better, I think.Im still suicidal, and  its better, I guess. I love my dad for it, and Im not calling him again.  He was willing to put himself in harm to save my life.  I hate that I cant repay him because Im still suicidal.  Hes helping pay-off the medical bills, though.Ill, eventually, let him down.  I dont Hyperactive behavior living, either.', 'Whats your favorite color?  If its green, you just got a new internet friend.  Cheers.  Thanks.Edit:  I realize an internet-friend isnt worth a damn.  But, Im replying to the same subreddit youre reading.  Hey, green aint so bad.  Everyone else, theyre assholes that dont get it.Were all just reaching-out and hoping somebody cares.  I dont care about you.  But, Ill listen and try to help because Ive gone broke ""getting help"" for my problems from assholes across the medically-licensed USA.']",Attempt
user-298,"['No. Looked all over the internet for Kentucky [looked through her profile, think she said she lived there] suicides and the obituarys. Nothing.', 'Sorry to be rough, but its not.Its never worth it. So many things will happen. Youll regret it. Look at all those Suicide survivors. They all regretted their choice pretty fast. Im not the best talker, so sorry if I mess up.', 'No, i understand. People are fucking stupid, and think pills and drugs will help. It wont. Just remember, think twice about what youre doing. Roadtrips are fun i hear. Goodluck. You are unique, ive never seen someone Hyperactive behavior you. Seriously. Goodluck in everything, and i hope you change your mind.Adios dude.-Allen', 'Dang. Youre lucky. Whats your education? Surely you must be a PHD in something :)', 'Thats a fast explanation. A pretty simple one. Nice.', 'Listen, I cant offer you great advice. But I want you to know, someone will care about you dying. Its never worth it. Trust me. ', 'Hey, lets talk.', 'I understand your problem.I Hyperactive behavior saying things with a shower metaphor. You wake up, and youre Exhaustion. You dont want to do anything. After you take a shower, you can do anything. Youre Wakefulness. You aced your tests. You have it going for you. You just need to find your shower.', 'Listen, i hope you dont do anything. I know you have things going on, and i know that you feel horrible. Horrible enough to die. But i want to tell you this, if you do decide to die, dont go out Hyperactive behavior that. Its suffocation. It would feel horrible. So, wanna talk about things? Whats up? Let me try to help you.', 'That really sucks.It really sucks knowing i cant do anything for you, if youre so set on doing this. Honestly, i dont have anything else to say. Please call a hotline, and talk with a friend. If you do decide, may God make you go quick and i hope you live a good afterlife. ', 'Following!', 'Fine.', 'In personal opinion, terminating that child was okay. It would of been a bad place to raise one in a college area. You guys did the best thing for it. And about your visit? Dont Anxiety about here being Anger. Just because you didnt make a sexual move doesnt make you bad. Its not your fault if you didnt want sex. Its hers for getting Anger at you at such a small thing. Lets talk.', 'I know how you feel, being swamped with debt and bills. I want you to know that they will go away. It just requires time to pay them off. Set up a fund, and Attention Deficit Disorder money to it every paycheck. You can raise money for them. And if you do decide to end, know that people will miss you. You might feel Hyperactive behavior they wont, but they will. Trust me. Do you want to talk?', 'Hopefully she is okay.', 'Nice. Go for it lol!', 'You need to get a plan together. You can do it dude. See if you find a shelter (yea I know, eww) and love there. Look for jobs, find something motivating! I know its hard, but youll get through it. I really hope you find a job and finish college!', 'Huh. Dont do it. Message me, and we can talk. Please dont even think about this. I want you to live. Please. Its not worth it in the long run. Please.', 'You fucking faggot.', 'Everyone has one. I can be your friend. I really hope you think twice. I havent hung with friends in a month, and that was because i had to study. Before that study session, i was on i a year long stretch with no friends hung out with. I stayed inside everyday. I dont even remember having no one to talk too. I made a friend earlier that year, and he helped me greatly. We talked, and he helped me so much. Just by talking with him about my problems.', 'Thank you. I hope he found peace.', 'Not going to tell you too much. Its not about me losing the right to die, its more of me losing my will. ', 'What?', 'Im not calling you that. Im trying to help you. Talk with me. Whats going on.', 'Could I possibly follow you in Tumblr?', 'From what Ive read, you didnt explain your reasons other than your mother taking money to help you. Could you explain more please.', 'Youre welcome. I am happy you are okay. Please dont do this again. I know that you were not thinking correctly. Thank you for responding. Best of luck with the marriage, and i hope everything works out. Feel free to post again if you ever need help, but i really hope you dont if you catch my drift :)-Allen', 'A shower can be anything that makes you feel happy. Friends, family or anything. Find something that you love and embrace it.', 'I can mostly relate. Theres a reason I subbed here. Yea. I *had* potential. Hopefully I still do. Fucked up greatly in my educational early years. We both seem the same. Potential, and we know things. Im horrible at math, and Im lazy, so that adds in to my situation. But lets talk. Whats your name? Im Al.', 'Pets always help, in times of being alone. What type of job do you have?', 'Checks on the first two. Lost interest in games. Stopped caring a while back ago about things and what people think. I could read this book. I could do that. But instead I procrastinate, and not do anything.:(', 'Please dont. Find something else to do. I know you can, find motivation. Please.', 'Haha, Im not one of those. Im lazy. I procrastinate. Really fucked me up. My memories is somewhat bleh, but still good. Im the guy that would hate you haha. I spent two days Wakefulness, working on my final research paper and only got a C, when this one kid got a A and wrote it literally the day before. ', 'Youre missing step 3.1.Instantly regretting it. Dont do anything Hyperactive behavior this. Pursue a goal, and find a friend who you can lean on and talk with. Its not easy to fix problems, but with a friend its Hyperactive behavior having it all fixed for you.', 'Im here. Whats up?', 'Ok........', 'Nice. Hopefully youre gunna make some fat stacks, buy a nice car and spend your days on reddit :)So, what are you going to do when you find a job?', 'You have 17 minutes. I hope you change your mind. Talk with me friend.', 'Thank you. Message me, we can talk more if you want too.-Allen', 'Why? Lets talk.', 'Retail? Why not move jobs? Whats up with your GF?', 'You werent. You merely helped her chose. With out you, she could of given birth to the child. You helped save a kid from living a bad life in a poor environment. Were humans. Of course this shit will eat at us. Dont Anxiety.', 'No. ', 'Yea, I feel you.Ive been going to Hypersomnia at 12-1AM every night for about seven months. I too feel Exhaustion and just incapable of doing shit. What in specific is bothering you? If you would Hyperactive behavior to feel more secure, we can PM each other.', 'Take the gun. Unload the bullet and out the gun down.Lets talk. Tell me whats going on.Edit: I looked at your profile and it seemed you were drunk when you posted this. Thats not the answer. Lets talk.', 'Hello Pages. Im Allen. Lets talk. Please, please, please go to the nearest bathroom and throw up. Its never worth it. Lets talk. But please, please throw up. Again, lets talk. What lead up to this?', 'Okay. So you have problems in your Schizophrenia, Childhood and right now. I understand stand. I understand why you feel how you feel. I just want to tell you this. Im not a great talker, but if you want someone to be your rock and just talk with, I can be that person.', 'I see. Wanna talk more about it?', 'To be honest, I had the same thing happen to me.This year. I know how you feel. You can do it. Please, dont try anything. I want you to do this. Listen to your favorite music, go outside and see what life has to offer. Get a job. Buy that thing you wanted..just dont kill your self.Please, Im not a good counsel person but I am begging you.Think twice.-Allen.', 'Wanna have a chat? It seems youre venting out. I do that also sometimes. I really hope C is okay. M for me got Leukemia, Myelocytic, Acute when I was young. Devastating, but she survived. Hopefully C will also, with any type of cancer. Your children seem nice. How old are they?Ill be here. Feel free to reply.', 'Not yet. Still no response :(', 'I know how you feel. I completely screwed over my GPA. I rarely did work. It might be Hyperactive behavior waking up in the morning. You are Exhaustion and cant do anything. You take a shower and boom, youre Wakefulness and ready. You just need to find your shower.', 'Hey okay. It seems no one wants to talk. I will though. Whats up?', 'Oh I see. I honestly cant think of anything to say. All I can say is that you need to try and find a way. Suicide seems Hyperactive behavior a good choice at the time, but look at the long run.', 'Yea, I am here. Whats up?', 'No.', 'Please dont do it.Please, things will get better. Find a god if you must.Please, Im begging you.', 'Hey man. Im Allen.Wanna talk?', 'Fuck her. Listen. Call a better one? Or talk to us :3 were here for you.What up?', 'Hold on, lets talk. Whats up?', 'Im great at procrastination also. Completely fucked over two years in school, barley made it through. I know its hard, but seriously. Youll find something to love for. Something has to spark a light in your heart to live. Why not go into a relationship, and find true love? Why not get loving pet? You can do so many things to fixyour problems. You just have to act.', 'Just knowing Ill never see those certain people ever again. The ones I love.Im better now. This was some late night posting I did.', 'Message me, tell me everything. Ill try to help :)', 'Friend, I was busy and can only be here now. Five hours later. I feel Hyperactive behavior a piece of shit. I am so sorry. I hope you are still here. Forgive me.', 'Hows life? What bothering you?Ill try to respond ASAP, but Im leaving fairly soon. Dont Anxiety if I dont reply for a couple of hours.', 'Find out as much personal info as you can.']",Ideation
user-299,"['i have a friend exactly Hyperactive behavior you.  i miss talking to her :/ but all i can say is stay on this earth no matter how much it kills you because your kids need there mom in there lives.     As for your marrige. the damage is done.  all i can say is try and work on that still.   but mostly are your kids', 'your already getting better.  your getting the fear of what you were becoming and realized it    so now your going to in a way help youself but im happy your going to try and get better :).  i know this comment seems retarded or something but i used to think Hyperactive behavior you.  with tje ex gf part.  that you were going to take what is yours.  that totally used to be me.   i wish you the best of luck good sir.   try to hang around a while and see how much you grow :)']",Indicator
user-300,"['What changed things for you?', 'Thank you for being the only responder and sharing your story. Sorry for my delayed reply, its been hard to do anything even online. And for lack of better words, sorry you had to go through all that but at least you were lucky enough to have your attempt fail with minimum physical harm. Im thankful that happened for you, and to be honest in a Nausea way I wish this would happen to me- its Hyperactive behavior I desperately want to commit Suicide without the death part if that makes any sense. I just want to wake up or snap out of it somehow and change my reality, and make my parents understand just how desperately I need help for all these problems they refuse to take seriously back when I actually tried to reach out to them. I have so much Anger about the fact that theyre responsible for my existence, I force myself to stay alive for them, and then their response is to make doing that as difficult as possible to continue.Most of my friends (when I had them) were on the autism spectrum and I can relate to a lot of what they go through, as some of my disorders have some overlapping symptoms that get mistaken for autism often (OCD, Phobia, Social Anxiety Mental Depression disorder, sensory integration disorder). Id be happy to be your friend, but it sounds Hyperactive behavior youre in a slightly better place than me at the moment and I dont want to be a burden. You seem Hyperactive behavior a nice guy and I hope you get yourself some friends who deserve you one day.I go to therapy once a week, which helps in the sense that my therapist is the only human being I get to have real conversations with so I havent gone totally crazy. I have been on over 20 different kinds of meds over the course of a decade, which ranged from being neutral to making things much, much worse. I wish all of those resources that have been wasted on me could have gone to someone else if it would help. I got out of bed today despite really not wanting to, so I guess thats something. Part of the reason for that was because I felt obligated to write a reply. Thank you for that.']",Ideation
user-301,"['Have you tried making things with your hands? I took up painting to get my mind off of things, getting lost in your mind can be dangerous ... So I starting making black and white painting that meant something to me. Maybe you can weld things together, just a hobby to try out. Make something and call it art ', 'Be the support he needs if you wants someone to help. Not sure if you want to keep pushing and dealing with him but if you want that pressure, keep letting him know youre there. Hangout with him, keep him busy.If hes trying to kill himself he needs to be watched. Good thing telling his sister, we want someone at home to keep him safe. ', 'Just let spill it to him.. Let him know. Youre trying to reach out to someone you do know and hes right there. Even if he is distance. If telling him will make you feel better do it. Whatever makes it easier for you to deal with.']",Indicator
user-302,"['Well, First things first. You have us here and whilst it might not seem Hyperactive behavior much, being able to vent your feelings is a good way to start building back those bridges. Family always seems to be a difficult one, You cannot choose your family but you can choose what interactions you have with them and whether they are positive or not. The fact that you are here, you seem more than intelligent and want help shows people you want to do something about it, Anyone who would ignore you for that is not going to be the best of friends. Its about finding the niche that you enjoy. Reddit is a great place for that at least. What is it that you find yourself doing most of the time for a hobby? Computers, reading etc? Just dont give up, There is always a chance it will get better regardless of how dark it seems. ', 'Well, You know you can always come speak to us and we wont be pissed off at you for anything. Nor will you have to trust us. I have been in a similar situation to yourself, I lost my partner after being together for 6 years and even still after a year I think about them. They will always be apart of your life and its completely human to feel the loss of that attachment. As for your life, Do you have the option to go to a different school and try something completely new? I know it seems Hyperactive behavior a huge gamble and most people wouldnt understand, However a fresh start might be something that you need to get away from the routine you have now. Never give up and feel free to talk anytime. ', 'Are you in the US or from somewhere else?I know in the UK we have a lot of money advice services and if it is loan repayments then in special circumstances they can reduce the debts barely a few dollars per month. Killing yourself to get your mother out a financial hotspot is a terrible answer to it and that isnt meant to sound harsh to you because I know youre trying to do all you can for her. However, Would she want your death on her conscience all because of money?Please do post some more about the situation and I will see what advice I can offer. You did the right thing in posting here. ', 'You be in the same place but without the ability to draw on other peoples influence and experience and learn from it. Youd still be an awesome guy. When you feel better come back and offer advice to someone else. <insert Lion king, circle of life quote>If you ever need anyone to talk to. Hit me up. ', 'People have a bad habit of assuming that it is solely for attention when it happens with a partner breaking up. No one seems to remember that when we split up with someone, We are at our most emotionally vulnerable. There will always be people you can contact that will try to offer you support, I am 25 and had a 6 year relationship blow up in my face last year. I felt the same as you did now, completely lost with no one to talk to or that could even understand. You did the right thing in asking for that help. Never give up and let the doubt win. You are still young (I hate saying that knowing how much it annoyed me when people used to tell me as an 18 year old) and while it does seem Hyperactive behavior a chore to be young. Think of it as a chance to do something completely different. You have the time to enroll in a school course of your choosing. You could do anything you put your mind to. I think the key thing to remember is finding things you enjoy or that makes you happy and try to forge your path towards it. You know you can always talk to us along the way. ', 'Hello. How are you doing Shawshenk?Have things changed at all?', 'You arent alone. You know you can always come on here anytime and either myself or someone else would be here to listen and help in anyway we can. I have been in the situation myself and still currently am. Firstly, For the money problems have you spoken to any debt management companies or to your providers directly? They usually can set up minimum payment plans if you are in financial difficulty. It might not seem to work but as soon as you open up the lines of communication with them it DOES help. Secondly, If the SO is no longer living with you, could you possibly get in another lodger to help with the current bills, It could also help give you some distractions if it is a nice housemate. Just makes sure to get contracts >.>Thirdly, If you are really struggling at the moment, have you spoken to your local GP or doctor about it? They can always offer short term or long term therapy or some medication just to help you through these rough patches. You arent alone in this suffering Shawshenk. I am in a similar situation myself and the thing I have found that brings me a tiny bit of happiness is being able to give some of the advice I cant give myself to other people. You need to find something that gives you a feeling of achieving something instead of focusing on the negatives. I know you can do it. ', 'I am struggling with something very similar to yourself. I am a young person who finished school but yet cannot seem to find the motivation to actually want to do something with my life. It all seemed pointless to me despite being a generally well rounded individual, which put me further and further down the spiral. I had someone ask me a simple question and it is one that I still cant answer yet but I have a feeling once I know it, It will give me a direction to start walking in and one I feel I need to ask you. What makes you happy?']",Ideation
user-303,"['I think there is a lot in this book that would benefit you: http://www.ryanpatrickhalligan.org/documents/Forever_Decision.pdf', 'Thank you very much for your kind words. I appreciate your concern. To address some points raised so far, I will provide a detailed description of my situation.Generally my life is fine. I have a permanent admin job with a local hospital, which I enjoy. I work 30 hours a week and, while it is less money than I would Hyperactive behavior, it is enough to live on. I currently live with my parents, but am looking for a house to share with a close friend. I graduated from university two years ago with a 1st. I have a small but very close circle of friends, a very large number of lesser friends and acquaintances whom I see often and get on well with.I simply cant bear the thought that its over forever with my ex. Ive been in love with her since I was 10 years old, and am 24 now. We went out for a year and a half. It would have been 2 years on December 5th. I have felt a very keen sense of Sad mood for as long as I can remember, far back into my early childhood. At work, at uni, with strangers, with friends, with my family, I have always felt this Sad mood. I have only not experienced it when with my ex.I have never been comfortable with myself. I feel physically strange, that the world is too small for me, in a very literal sense. Yet also, that my body itself is also too small. My ribs and back feel twisted and sore, Hyperactive behavior they are locking me inside myself. I want to rip my ribcage open down the middle and release what is inside. At the same time, I am afraid of what is inside. I feel black inside. Not hollow, but filled with some kind of black, viscous fluid. I feel Hyperactive behavior it is alive, or sentient at least...some kind of massive, rotten tumour that has a will of its own. Still, the pressure that it exerts from within is very strong, so want to open myself up to get rid of it, even though I know it would be terrible for the rest of the world.But neither do I feel Hyperactive behavior most of my body is really even part of me, and more that it is Hyperactive behavior...I guess a wire construction, with my brain forcing everything along. My body is Hyperactive behavior a cage, or a prison, and my brain is the jailer.I feel Hyperactive behavior I have squandered the opportunities I was presented with. That I have made a succession of poor decisions, and that I could have done a lot better. I have done nothing with my degree (Drama and Scriptwriting). The last thing I wrote was a 50 min radio play, I completed the first draft I guess...four months ago? A month before my ex Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me. I got some feedback from a couple of lecturers at my old uni, and a woman I work with doing a weekly Writing for Performance class for local teenagers. I havent redrafted the script, or sent it in to the BBC. I have started a few scripts since then, but either not got past the first page or even the initial planning.After uni I spent 9 months living in London (and got together with my ex while there). I spent most of it unemployed, only managing to do some temporary admin for local hospitals. My parents foot the bill, so I now owe them \xc2\xa33,000.My ex Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me during the final stages of her own degree (Fine Art, with a focus on Performance Art). As Id had to move back in my parents, we lived in different cities and only saw each other at weekends. During the last month of our relationship it was even less, as she was very busy with her course.During this period I also decided to change my name. Since a Suicide attempt in my 2nd year at uni, I have felt very guilty and stupid about trying to kill myself. I felt that changing my name would enable me to draw a line under those experiences and move on. I did this without consultation from anyone - I wanted the decision to be as unfiltered as possible, as I felt it was an entirely personal decision. My parents and ex reacted very badly to the news, they felt betrayed that I hadnt asked them about it before. Two weeks later, my ex Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me.I have therefore wasted my education, my income, and the only proper relationship I have ever had. I feel that I have let down the people I hold dear.I know that my ex will never get back with me. Neither of us is actual sure why she got together with me in the first place - I had asked her out on previous occasions and been rejected. Our relationship has been damaged too badly to ever recover. Since she Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me, I have begun drinking every day. Usually 5 units a day, which I know isnt much, but am also told that to drink every day is not healthy. I have had perhaps three or four days in the past three months when I havent had a drink.Im too Exhaustion to keep existing this way. Neither do I feel capable of getting help. I cannot talk to my friends or family about this. I cant even really talk to my ex about this. We have exchanged some texts briefly over the past few days, but I felt incapable of putting into words how I really felt.I am therefore taking steps to commit Suicide.', 'Thank you for your thoughts. I certainly do enjoy writing, or at least used to. I find it very difficult to do so anymore...I dont feel that my writing has any value, and cant realistically imagine breaking into the business.I know the sensible thing to do is to get help. I know I need to ring a hotline, or ask my GP for a referral to the shrink. My Mum is actually a psychiatric nurse, ironically. But I cant bring myself to do it. I keep wanting to answer people honestly when they say, ""How are you?"", but I just cant bring myself to do it. I always lie and reply, ""Im fine.""I have ordered the materials required for my Suicide this evening. I also have a backup supplier in case my primary source sees through my lies and refuses sale.']",Behavior
user-304,"['Please, dont do it. Im sure that there is someone out there who can help you. You may not believe it, but Im sure many more people then you think will be upset if you were to commit suicide. Please dont.']",Supportive
user-305,"['I fake being an innocent and shy little person, but in reality Im just cold and bitter in side, I just choose not to show it.', 'Both 16 :)', 'That sucks. At least Ill wait til Im officially alone to kill myself.', 'Whats with the downvote?', 'I would, but 1. My Anxiety Mental Depression prevents me from doing anything that isnt mandatory2. From what ive been told from a friend they make you feel really stupid Hyperactive behavior it was in front of you the entire time or something Hyperactive behavior that. ', 'You guys have truly inspired me. No therapist Ive known has given me this much help. Thank you.', 'They dont offer guitar lessons and dont have guitars. But of course they have a bunch of dumb brass and percussion instruments anyone could care less about.', 'Wow. Im in your exact same situation, same age and everything. What I do when Depressed mood is try to get away from whatever or whoever is causing it if there is a cause and just make it through the day. It may not be the best answer but that is what I do.', 'Im 16', 'Nine Inch Nails, Downward Spiral is my favorite album of all time. I also listen to some Arctic Monkeys or something more socially exceptable when Im around people so I dont look Hyperactive behavior an even bigger outcast.', 'Ive read a few things on alcoholism and the dangers of it and yes it is very scary I agree. I definitely DONT plan on abuse. ', 'Thank you, Im here all night.', 'Yes but I only see it happening to me. It is CLEARLY me who is saying the wrong thing and I hate it :(', 'They arent my friends anymore, so thats good I guess.The problem is I want to be something, I just cant find anything to be. Im not saying that I want to be the best at something, I just dont want to be boring and have a boring life.', 'Im 16. My family is fine I guess. They could care less about what I do but they treat me fair. Sleeps a nice thing for me because that means the day ends, I get to relieve the stress.', 'Im not sure if it is bad as she used to have it, but she used to be anorexic and cuts herself every now and then, but I can tell she is Depressed mood.', 'Addition: My mom loves and treats her boyfriend and his kids better than she ever did me. I doubt she even wants me anymore.', 'Nope, you can try and name some talent i have. Many people tried and failed :(']",Ideation
user-306,"['That Anxiety Mental Depression sounds brutal. Have you gotten any professional advice, or tried things Hyperactive behavior Abnormal dreams aerobic exercise or deep breathing exercises?Maybe the degree you are studying for is not what you really want to do. Does it help others in some way? Have you done a kind deed recently? There is someone Social fear and dying alone in a nursing home or hospice near you right now, maybe you could do something for them? Or go to an animal shelter and walk one of the dogs that is locked up all day.', 'Zoloft and Lexapro and Effexor all made my Mental Depression worse, and almost killed me. I would try to ge off of them if i were you, and just be regularly Depressed mood Hyperactive behavior most people instead of actively suicidal.', 'Well maybe you should smoke some weed then. God put it on earth so people could deal with all the shit.', 'Sorry you are in a tough spot. Without getting into philosophy, here ae some practical tips:You may have to look for a job away from your family. T is scary and sucky but youll be okay.Finance and business are filled with scumbags. Since you have time, contact a nonprofit nearby and offer to volunteer one day a week. This will help you form a network, maybe meet friends, maybe even turn it into a job or gain some experience.The internet thing is hard for sure. Even though everything is digital nowadays, spend $20 or whatever and get some cards printed up with your name, email, and phone number. Play around with the design a little bit, and write something Hyperactive behavior ""professional problem solver"" or ""apprentice jack of all trades"" and give one to people. You could go to a local hardware store for example and say you are enthusiastic and looking for work, maybe you will get a job and learn about drills and meet the Dewalt rep.You could also start your own business - how about detailing peoples cars while they are in their office? If you do a good iob on some VPs mercedes maybe he will think to hire you.', 'Geez, that could be my story, except I have made it to age 36. I hang in there because every once in a while I meet a wonderful woman who makes me forget the pain, and I feel really good. I have those little whispers while she is with me that it could end at any second. And then it does, she dumps me, and there is a suicidal downward spiral. It works out to about 98% misery and 2% happiness for me and I guess that trade off keeps me going.', 'Relevant username!', 'What do you Irritable Mood by a person you shouldnt love?', 'I think it is pretty well proven that Phobia, Social media makes Mental Depression worse. Your mom is right about broadcasting Mental Depression. It is hard not to in real life, but on Phobia, Social media you could broadcast lies and pretend to be happy say stuff Hyperactive behavior ""i am so happy today saw a cute kitten"" or whatever.', 'Lie.', 'It is strange that you apologized for your English skills, when they are fine. I wish I could speak a second language. Thats great you have a girlfriend. I just got dumped bu a girl I was dating, and I dont even know why, I really enjoyed spending time with her and I really believed the feeling was mutual.That is good you are in therapy, i have tried it before and if I could get out of bed I would do it again.', 'I am in the same boat as you. My parents are good people and raised me well and with love, i was just born broken and defective. Once they are both gone I will off myself. ', 'Way more people are killed by dogs than rattlesnakes every year. Where do you live? Your best species for death would be a Mojave green or a timber rattler. But it will be incredibly painful and there is a good chance you will live, especially if you are bit on the hand or foot as opposed to the neck.', 'And who says the military is an easy life? Seems Hyperactive behavior the most depressing horrible job ever. I Irritable Mood just look at the statistics of how many service members commit suicide.', 'Maybe. My D levels are normal but i have lived my whole life in a pit of drakness. I take additional vitmanin D becsuse it is inexpensive and i seem to get Nausea less often when I take it. It cant Chest Pain anyways.', 'Bye Drew, sad to see you go. But we will all die, so good on you for doing it on your own terms.', 'You are way harder on yourself than she is. Maybe she is terrible at chess or is missing half an ear and thinks she is ugly, but you would still be with her.', 'How did you pull it together to get a masters degree? ', 'Another thought, if you go to your employer and say you are an alcoholic or mentally disabled I am pretty sure they cant fire you, they have to give you time for treatment. ', 'Or go for the gold, mushrooms!', 'Is your birthday coming up? You could host a nice birthday party and see everyone and then check out after that. Or if you cant wait that long, have some other party or organize a rafting trip or barbeque chili cook off or something.', 'Take a giant deep breath, as slowly as possible. Once your lungs are totally full and you can feel them stretch, hold for 10 seconds and let it burn. Breathe out, as sloooow as possible. When your lungs are Depersonalization, push out that last little bit of air and hold your lungs Depersonalization for ten seconds.Repeat three times please.', 'People break up. You are dealing with being sober. Dont apologize and for goodness sake stop with the Facebook already.', 'Do you get out in nature much, or have a chance to have a garden or hunt or fish? ', 'Does your school have mixers or reunions for alumni?You could join a Toastmasters group and improve your public speaking and maybe network.There must be some ""american association of financial analysts"" type professional organization with a chapter in Chicago, you could give them a ring and offer to help organize their next meeting or maybe they have a happy hour once a month.', 'I dont have any advice for you, sorry. Just wanted to say that you are a good person and there arent many people Hyperactive behavior you.', 'Your logic is good and you have a sense of humor.', 'Yeah thats a tough one. I try to help people Hyperactive behavior beggars and stuff but if I gave a dollar to every one I see i would be out of money in a very short time. And a couple weeks ago i saw an old crippled man begging. I gave him a buck, and he immediately asked me for 2 bucks and it made me feel bad. No one else nearby gave him anything. It hurts to care and try.', 'I dont believe anyone reading through SuicideWatch is completely happy. And are you 27?', 'How old are your kids? Are they into anything? More than money I think they need a father. Can you take a day and do something special with them? ', 'That sucks. Why not move to a city where you dont need a car?', 'Dude, if you dont die you should totally get yourself to the US, or australia or new zealand. You wont starve to death, and women will be iterested in you as soon as you talk to them because of your accent. A scottish lad would do great in New York City, you would have to have roomates but you are young and could start a whole new life.', 'That must be awesome to be attractive and have people asking you out, and then taking you out.', 'Maybe he realizes there is no such thing as ""help"". Sure the doctor/pharmaceutical complex sees him as a customer but really some people are just born to suffer.', 'It will be bad, but maybe after five days you will feel better and can kick the Drug craving for good. Generally stopping cold turkey is not advised.', 'I am way older than you and havent figured out how to enjoy much so far. I had fun once, two summers ago swimming in the ocean. It hit me, oh, this is what people Irritable Mood when they say they are having ""fun"" or enjoying themselves. But thanks, you are a good person and it sucks how good people suffer meanwhile scumbags have happy lives.', 'Check your life insurance policy, most have exemptions for suicide. Shitty, right? So you would have to make sure it does not look Hyperactive behavior a suicide.', 'You should form a straight edge hardcore band and beat up the audience members when they come on stage. Like a straight edge GG Allin (self harmer nutcase) crossed with Henry Rollins.', 'It is nice that you are trying, but some people are just here to suffer and die. Your friend may be one of those people where no amount of therapy or pills or ECT will ever help.My advice wpuld be to take your friend bowling or to a rope swing or some kind of physical activity, maybe a roller coaster? It may provide some minutes or moments of relief. Talking or watching tv does not do that.']",Ideation
user-307,"['Thank you for sharing...its proved to be another rough night. Was out all day, hence the late response. I do relate to this though...especially now.', 'Feeling lost at the moment... Confused in a way... Its Hyperactive behavior I want nothing more than to have someone to laugh with.., to talk about things with....but I wish the people currently in my life would just go away. I think my head is full of too many paradoxes... Go stay.... Live die... Love hate... Sleep awake.... Its overwhelming. Like Im two people at once. I can see things rationally... Like Im so overreacting kind of way... But I also feel this overwhelming sense of just give it up already -just how many times can I say its going to get better. My heart hurts. I know Im a better catch than the way the world treats me. Im Nausea of feeling less than adequate.... Theres a lot that goes into that...but yeah.Certain things make this lonely heart break more....Hyperactive behavior feeling cold...I remember what a warm body feels Hyperactive behavior.... I miss that so much. It makes me colder and sadder just thinking about that. Sometimes Ill see a joke or a comic....or want to try a new place....or go on vacation.... Vacation is a big one... And I realize theres no one to share this with... I can go away by myself.... But Im alone. It really fucking hurts to go through the life experience and have no witnesses. ', 'Are you kidding Ive even looked at websites where you pay someone to just cuddle with you... But it feels so desperate... I guess part of the problem is the want... I want the feeling if want... Ive done so so much wanting that I just want the roles reversed for five minutes. As for depression... I was treated for it at one point because of the result of a bad car accident that gave me PTSD.... But honestly it just felt Hyperactive behavior I was on pills that took away who I was. Plus the whole car accident basically just showed me how little I mattered to anyone even though I should have died.... And thats just it.... Part of my brain feels Hyperactive behavior I should have died.... And maybe thats why my life is so crap, theres no one on earth for me because I was supposed to die and it went wrong. If the guy that hit me just went a little faster I would maybe be part of the stars or birds or trees and I wouldnt feel this awful aloneness. ', 'I think my being alive might be an error. Im living beyond the expiration date. Or sometimes I just muse that maybe the love of my life is dead and thats why I dont get to meet them yet. I do my best to put on the good show regarding feeing depressed. I try not to make it public. Or drag anyone into it. ... But honestly, its bullshit because if I was pretty someone would be there anyway. We all know this. ', 'Ended up falling a asleep...still hurts though. Ill read your poem.Yeah I get a lot of that ""Im looking for"" but Im right here.... I love travel, so thats a big one. Not even to anywhere far.... Plus I think part of it has to do with my Facebook feed being full of honeymoons.... Love and travel... Greeeatt.... Plus I went to school with rich kids out of my Phobia, Social class all growing up... So they are always huge lavish honeymoons from successful brilliant people who have the connections to have the job of their dreams out of college.... But not my friend enough to help me - Ive tried. But the employment situation is a whole other thing. ']",Ideation
user-308,"['You say that people may be Chest Pain for a bit but they will be on soon there life will return to normal but that isnt true.  It sticks with people.  They blame themselves & become tormented with the fact that you are gone.  Have you talked with anyone? Possibly seen a counselor? You have this one life do your best with it.  I know life is Depressed mood & some days are darker than others but theres beauty all around you.  Dont give in.  Fight it.  Dont let Mental Depression take you away from those who love you.  ', 'She would still feel guilty even with a note.  I was 7 when my mom tried to commit suicide.  She didnt go through with it but I still feel guilty that she even attempted it. Those who I knew that were only distant friends that killed themselves haunt me.  I blame myself for not being able to have made a change in their lives.Life gets better but it will also get worse & then better again. You have to learn to roll with the thunder of tearful sorrow & bask in the sunlight of happy thoughts.   Nothing is black & white. What works for some is disastrous to others.  If something helped one person but doesnt work well for you does not Irritable Mood your are forever doomed. You just have to find what helps you.I avoid music, look at cute pictures on [imgur] (http://imgur.com/r/aww), watch funny videos on YouTube, put together puzzles to busy my mind, or play video games. I try to think of all of the good things that have happened in my life. It doesnt always work but I remind myself how much it would destroy others who care about me if I gave in.  I am seeing a counselor & have recently been told that I may need to start taking Anxiety Mental Depression medication. Another thing that I do is write. I keep a journal, write poetry, make up songs, etc.I may not know you but I have hope for you.  I want your life to be full of happiness.  Dont give into the darkness. Keep fighting & live. ']",Indicator
user-309,"['Make Anxiety Mental Depression your bitch. Seriously though, is this a new thing? Like, possibly related to becoming engaged new? Because if thats the case, you need to put some serious thought into your relationship.Also, you might try talking to your profs. They are people too, and can be understanding. Maybe you can get an incomplete, with extra time to finish all your work. ', 'It will matter when youre dead. Suicide is selfish. Do you want to put your mother through even more pain?', 'Dont do it. If nothing else, post to r/loans, r/assistance, any number of subreddits dedicated to helping each other out. Stop smoking weed. Try to get any job you can - Im a cashier and I make 800 - 1200 a month. If youre not a Bronchitis, Chronic pot smoker you should be clean *hopefully* within a week or two. Did you consider getting a bike? 20 miles sounds bad, but its really not once you do it for a couple weeks. Just dont give up. If your roommate is really your best friend he would be way more pissed that youre considering Suicide than that you dont have rent money. I was suicidal for 7 years. I still have my moments, but overall Im very glad that I didnt succumb. The key is to get Anger. I was suicidal because I was convinced that no one liked me (I dont make friends easily) and I would be forever alone. I finally realized that everyone else can go to hell. I havent made anything of myself yet, but Im working on it. You can too. Get Anger at the world, Anger enough to want to prove it wrong. Youre 23. You have your whole life ahead of you. Do you really want to end it all now?', 'Is grinding of the teeth a thing with suicidal people? Ive ground my teeth down so much they need to be reconstructed. Never put the two together though.', 'I know at least one person who seems pretty consistently happy. She doesnt have much money, she has a crappy car, etc. But she is always optimistic and makes great friends, the type who go white water rafting and hiking and etc. She eats healthy, is constantly active, and doesnt really care about material possessions. I think thats one of the key problems. As long as material wealth is what makes you happy, youre always going to want more. ', 'You do not want to find a girl with mental problems. Sure, theres a chance you two could have a healthy relationship but its more likely to be a train wreck. ', 'I think that this sense of worthlessness is common among upper middle class kids, especially when we fail to live up to expectations. Probably during your moments of clarity you decide that youre going to change, youre going to go to class and stop the drugs and so on? Well you cant just change your entire life in a day. Start small. Like, do you brush your teeth every day? If you dont, do that. Just start with tiny little things and do them without fail. Once youve got that down, Attention Deficit Disorder another one. You cant acquire motivation and discipline with the snap of your fingers. If youre skipping class then no matter how much you study youll probably have problems. So just, try your best to go to class. If youre totally lost then mention it to the teacher, they are there to help you. Trust me, I know where youre at. Im in about the same place and just giving you advice that has been given to me. That feeling of being a waste of space is killer. ', 'I have to fight the urge to drive into oncoming traffic every time Im behind the wheel. Not because I want to Chest Pain someone or die, Im just.. curious? And yea, I imagine other forms of self harm, but I hate Ache and would never do it. I also dont have many friends, everyone seems to be an asshole, fake, or want to use you. I have two very close friends and a handful of other people I talk to or hangout with. I feel Anger and happiness, but not very often, and I cant express it Hyperactive behavior other people do. Like, I dont get excited. It freaks people out for some reason. And wow its weird how many other people feel exactly the same. There has got to be something wrong with society these days.. ', 'You know, if youre dead set on Suicide, then whatever. But this is a board for people who are begging for help. Probably even you. If someone really wants to go, theyre just going to do it, not post to reddit. Basically, please dont come on here and tell the people asking for help that youve decided Suicide is inevitable. Your negativity isnt helpful.', 'So you were abused or something, but youve blocked it out? Definitely sounds Hyperactive behavior cause for counseling. And if you were abused, you never really forget it. Even if you manage to suppress it, its still there. I guess something happened to me in middle school and I literally cannot remember 3 years of my life, but I still freak out if someone touches me without warning. ', 'Finals ugh. But other than that, alright.', 'Yes. And if I say anything Hyperactive behavior ""hey, you guys did blah. Y u no drop me a text?"" they accuse me of being insecure and needy. And so I feel worse.', 'Ive been Hyperactive behavior this for years. Im slowly working my way/being pulled out of it. I would be sure that they test for a thyroid condition, as that is a frequent cause of what youre describing. Failing that.. I dont know what to tell you. It took me many years of feeling this way, and I still battle it everyday. I finally decided that either I needed to decide to live, or just go through with killing myself. It helped that I met someone who tends to kick my ass (figuratively) if Im being negative. Find a reason to live again. Consider all the things you at one point wanted to do in your life. Then think about what it would feel Hyperactive behavior if you never got to do them. When I did this, I was stunned to realize that I would be upset. It was kind of the kickstart to caring about my future again.', 'Oh is this more signs of depression? Funny story, I went to the doctor and told her that I think I have depression. She said I didnt seem Hyperactive behavior a Depressed mood person. (I have felt this way for half my life so Ive gotten pretty good at faking happy,  and I try to deal with Stress with jokes and stuff. Doesnt Irritable Mood Im not Depressed mood.) I told her I was sure. She asked how. I told her Ive been suicidal off and on for 7 years. She told me I was **making it up**. So yea, finally decided to get help, and that is what happened. Its cool though, fuck her. Im working it out on my own.Good on you for getting your life together. Ive been struggling with that Mental disorders need to please my whole life.', 'How old are you? ', 'Which ones are you taking, if you dont mind me asking? Is it just Lexapro? Im not on any, but Im trying to get an appt with a psychiatrist. I dont usually feel sad for no reason, I just have no motivation and stay in bed for hours everyday, which leads to not doing things I need to do, which leads to being sad. Also an aspiring writer, but I cant muster up the will to write. ', 'Yea, cannabis tends to amplify whatever state of mind youre in if I understand correctly. ', 'So basically, youve lost your faith in humanity? Why dont you go lurk on some of the happy boards? Like Random_Acts_Of_Pizza and co.? Cause I think youll find youre wrong. Have you ever tried to make someone elses day? Suicide is, for the most part, one of the most selfish things someone can do. Im not trying to be mean. I was suicidal for 7 years. In the end I didnt want to be that much of a dick to my family. ', 'Alright, just to put this in perspective - Im 23F, with a college degree, and I cant get a job. I lost my best/only friend and my job on the same day. And it really sucks. But I firmly believe that it is going to get better. There will be other girls, other friends. Youre twenty. You still have most of your life left. Think of all the things that you want to do, to see. Its hard to go on sometimes, I know. I go whole days where all I do is curl up in bed and sob. But **it will get better**. ', 'Well thats a huge part of your problem right there. If you have to have validation from others to be happy, youre always going to be struggling and easily Depressed mood. Have you been to r/GetMotivated?', 'Sounds Hyperactive behavior you may have atypical depression. Characterized by lack of motivation and general feelings of Lethargy rather than sadness and despair. Drugs and therapy might help. ', 'While I am of the one opinion that this is quite possibly doomed to failure, theres really no reason that it cant work. People all over the world have arranged marriages, never meet before theyre married, and end up having very happy lives together. Youve actually spoken to this guy!So, yes, be careful. But Im sure youre aware of that. And I Hyperactive behavior to believe that miracles can happen, love at first sight does exist, and that we dont always need to be mired in reality. I would also Hyperactive behavior to say that I love how cheery youre being to all the haters. Good luck!', 'Im not saying you should disregard people with mental problems. Im saying that a person who has diagnosed mental problems should not give up on normal girls and focus exclusively on girls with mental problems. Because, Hyperactive behavior it or not, one person with mental problems will already affect the relationship. Two will be even harder, not easier. ', 'You have to click on his name, and then it will say message him or something.']",Behavior
user-310,"['It should be non-sexual, because sex and love two completely diferent things to me. I would Hyperactive behavior to embrace somebody who would spend as much time thinking about me and being loyal beside me as I do about him/her. I want to be fully accepted as a human, thats what I wish for.', 'I enjoy playing video games with my friends. But its kind of weird laughing while playing while wishing to be dead. even in these moments the core of my souls is sad. I dont believe they value our friendship as much as I do. In the near future I plan moving from this home to my own place because my family has a huge negative impact on my feelings, I am not sure if this helps enough to be fine though, bit its a first step', 'it was my mother who forced me to learn for an exam in school, at the same time I had an arguement with my best friends and we hated each other, I did not see any future for me and maybe it was more hormonic back then. after the Suicide attempt, my mother lied to the hospital that it was no Suicide attempt but an accident. so it burned in my mind a long time', 'death does not Irritable Mood resting, you will never think/feel anything again']",Attempt
user-311,"['yeah... it helps a lot... thanks', 'where do you live? im studying in an asian medical school, though im just a beginner... if possible i can help you out by introducing you to good psychologist here.', 'if she was popular things must have the personal ones Hyperactive behavior family related problems... it may not be because of her having a bad relation with family but might be due to internal differences or some kind of fights between other family members... ', 'believe me, no one wants to die. and if she was the type of girl you explained, she was a lot tougher than most. as strong a girl as she was, she wouldve have never chosen Suicide if it were not serious. girls never let out their real feelings. specially if theyre Mental Depression related. i dont know myself but thats just how girls are. theyll smile the brightest when Depressed mood. it must have been a big deal to her that she took this step. i understand her...', 'i did...to a friend', 'ahh.. im in south asia... i dont know any good doc in North Carolina... but ill ask my teacher if they know any good psychologist there... dont worry..!!! were all with you! :)', 'i can understand your feelings very well... i have a similar past so i can understand most of feelings. Hyperactive behavior, it wouldve been better if i was not born. things wouldnt have turned out Hyperactive behavior this, at least my siblings wouldnt have suffered...etc i still do have severe Mental Depression attacks and when they do i want to Suicide and put myself out of misery... ive been trying to reject my negative thoughts...and sometimes it helps... Hyperactive behavior i developed interest in music and art, i started watching funny anime and all kinds of things... i do these whenever im free.... on the other hand i applied to get admission in a public medical school. i failed on my first try though and fell into a dark pit... but i gathered my courage n tried again and this time i got admission... i stay busy now in studying so now i only get Depressed mood when theres a fight or im alone... so try finding something that keeps you busy and it interests you.. itll help a lot...', 'umm... how should i put it... family is the major reason of my Mental Depression', 'i go to the other room and start studying... or go to bathroom until everything cools down a bit ', 'yeah... but i love my family... its all those fights and arguments... either between my elder brother and parents... and between my parents on every other thing... and im Hyperactive behavior just standing there...', 'its somewhat similar to me... but i still love my parents... well i do sometimes wish that theyd love me back but i guess its alright... i know all this makes you Exhaustion and feel hopeless.. only thinking about it is enough to break you down but you HAVE TO live for yourself... is there anything that youre interested in? ', 'i just got some hope after reading this... i dont know if i can be as brave as you are but ill try my best... thanks :)', 'ive tried my best to stay strong for too long... but i cant do it any more... every now and then im having this wish to die and end it all', 'i want to shift to my college hostel... how can i convince my parents?', 'dont think that youre alone... therere a lot of people out there for you... May you stay happy! :)', 'i tried... but i cant stay at someones place for long, can i?', 'im grateful to you for always replying... im trying my best to get myself into different things and keep myself always busy with something... ive been sketching and singing as my hobby... but the negative atmosphere and cold Irritable Mood of people... no matter how hard i try, its still the same', 'did you ask her best friend? ', 'she listened to what i said... told me that i should stay strong... itll get better']",Ideation
user-312,"['Hey, you have a great mentality about this thing, as in you expect the worst, and you are prepared for any outcome. Although, I think that we should all be whatever we want, society doesnt really seem to think that way. Maybe in time, they will be more accepting of the LGBT community and of change. Just so you know, regardless of the outcome, you are, and you will be a human being Hyperactive behavior any other, and you shouldnt be afraid of the ignorance of others. Stay strong and live your life.', 'Who do you think sees you even though its not possible?', 'Im here also. Why do you want this to happen to you? Talk to me buddy. PM me, anything.', 'Hey. Im here as well. Please talk to us. :)', 'Hey buddy please dont kill yourself, please. Lets figure something out. Have you tried taking any job, just so you can have one, but in the meantime you search for something better?', 'Hey buddy. You can pm me anytime you feel Hyperactive behavior talking. How are you feeling now?', 'Why would someone do that? :(', 'Hey whats up?', 'Hey. I know what youre going through. Im here to talk if you want. Ill try to reply ASAP. Ow, and this really got me thinking, you should check it out: http://i.imgur.com/UhGC5.jpg ', 'I used to hate when someone told me "" youll get better"", "" come one, its just a phase"","" get over it, your a man for Christs sake"". I used to get angry, deep inside because they just dont get it, they just dont realize what its all about. Im not saying that Im better now, Im trying to tackle one day at a time, trying to survive a year without ending it. But I do realize now that its okay that they dont get it. How could they? They havent seen despairs yellow eyes and lived to tell the tale. I also realized that whatever future may hold for me I will choose to experience it - whether it is bad, or it is good. I try to set myself little goals that I can enjoy, Hyperactive behavior buying a new book, or trying to learn a new song, or composing something - even if its shit. I lock myself in my room when I feel its a day, or a week, when I cant function socially - I read, I write, I play music, I watch movies, shows, whatever alleviates the Ache. I dont have an answer to your problems, and I will never have. In my opinion you are the only one that has a chance of finding a solution to your ordeal, and you are right, you probably never will have a chance of finding true happiness. But why not at least try? Through all the shit in your life, all those days without end, all those months that just get over without meaning anything. Why not just try till you eventually die? Hyperactive behavior all living things on this planet. Ive been there. Why should I even try? Why should I make myself suffer when I could end it within mere seconds? Is it worth it to live 100 years if 100 years are filled with excruciating Ache? And then comes the question, at least for me - What if I find what I was looking for in that 99th year? Dont I deserve a reward for those mindless, confusing decades? Dont I deserve at least closure?I dont have all the answers, and I will never have. I just have hope that you will live another day, and that "" another day"" will give you strength to tackle your problems, your worries, so that you may live to experience your original path in this life, on this pale blue dot that well call Earth.From someone that also knows how it is to become jaded when nothing works, I give you an internet hug. I hope you find your own path. ', 'Arent there student loans you can tap into? And when you get a job you pay x% of your pay per month.', 'Im sorry for that. How is your leg doing? Have you consulted a doctor or anything? Have you told your parents?', 'Well, its a great movie, and Im a big fan of Richard Ayoade, but i liked Denis Villeneuves Enemy better. They both got inspiration from Dostoevskys novel "" The Double"". Anyway, watch them, both if you can. After the brooding sense of Feeling despair disappeared I felt refreshed and actually got into a good mental state, reassessing my life and all. :) ', 'Im here for about 20-30 minutes, gotta go to work :\\. What do you want to talk about? :)', 'Hey buddy. How are you doing? Its been 4 days since youve posted here.', 'Thank you :).', 'Haha, yeah, Loving a Balkan Android soothes my soul; that episode was somehow good, the first of its kind. I rarely get an episode that doesnt make me wake up all sweaty.', 'Hey buddy. I care. You can talk to me anytime you want. Just PM me or reply here :).', 'Modest Mouse - Custom Concern - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWjRaVINlJsIt gives me Chills every single time I hear it. ', 'Hey Sirpandawa, I too myself have been thinking of ending it, and Im struggling with Mental Depression, but every time I feel Hyperactive behavior there is no hope for me, no future that I can think of, i immediately re-read this http://i.imgur.com/UhGC5.jpg . Im not saying that it will have the same impact on you, but maybe it can help. Another thing that I have found to be really helpful, and it gets me to act normal again, is just pouring all my problems, all my stupid shit on a piece of paper, or on threads Hyperactive behavior  /r/suicidewatch, or /r/Mental Depression. I do hope you get over this period in your life.', 'I couldnt agree more with you. The whole thing that you just need to be more confident out of the blue just doesnt work for me. Ow and Mia Wasikowska is incredibly beautiful, and has that perfect amount of weirdness that I fall for.', 'I go from wanting to kill myself to being engulfed by bliss in a matter of hours - then the cycle repeats, every single day. I tend to constantly give me unnecessary shit about how I act, how I think, what I look Hyperactive behavior. For Christmas Ill probably go out with some friends, then get home and just try to stop believing how much I failed at life, even though I just started my journey. Life in general is shit, not just because I hate mediocrity, and I truly think that I will not amass to anything in my whole life, but the fact that everyone seems so happy while I feel Hyperactive behavior drowning in my insanity, Mental Depression just destroys every little hope that I have Ventricular Dysfunction, Left from this world. But, Ill stick with having the experience of living. After two Suicide attempts I decided that if I feel Ache for 100 years, then that should be my existence. At least I fought the windmills, even though I lost.How are you stranger? How was your week, your life in general?', 'Hey buddy. Im really sorry to hear what youve been trough. I cant make things better, and trust me when I say this, if I could I would do it in a second. Im just a stranger on the internet but I know how Feeling despair feels Hyperactive behavior. I know how being truly afraid is Hyperactive behavior. But for the moment, lets figure out how can you get to school without carpooling? Is there any way for you to get a drivers license and a used car? Is there any way that you can pay someone to drive you to school? ', 'Hey, why wont you just go to that isolated Buddhist monastery thing in Asia? Is it something that youve thought about or just wrote it down as an example? Youve got nothing to lose. Try something youve never done before, something new. It helped me get pass my problems and rediscover life. I hope this helps. Im really sorry for what has happened to you, Im just a stranger on the internet, I realize that my words may not count much but give, what I just said, a try.', 'If you Hyperactive behavior it, you should do it. Get a notebook or something and draw when you are on the bus, on the toilet, sitting in bed or on the floor, stargazing whatever. Whenever you feel Hyperactive behavior to. :)', 'Never give up buddy. And trust me those who make fun of you because you are overweight are not the people you want to call them friends. Its hard loosing weight, I know because I was overweight also, but you can do it. As someone else said, you cant achieve progress over night, but with time - weeks, months - youll get there. Im free to talk whenever you Hyperactive behavior, just PM me and Ill respond ASAP!!', 'Hmmm. Half and half sounds okay. Is it acceptable to you? Can you go on more than a month and a half without going broke? If so, I think you should try this and see where it goes. BTW put some money on the side if you can for rainy days.', 'I would start with telling your psychiatrist that you arent taking your meds and telling him why havent you. Maybe you will work things out another way. The second thing is try and move on with your life. Yeah, you made some decisions and now suffer the consequences but you obviously want to do more with your life. Come clean to your parents about you leaving university and talk to them. Thats gonna be really tough but still, they are your parents who will help you get trough this. In my opinion your parents are going to be upset of you leaving uni, but the business thing? It was clearly a risk, Hyperactive behavior any other business idea. You have to take risks to succeed. Have you thought about going back to school?', 'Thank you nemo128. Sometimes I just get overwhelmed about everything.', 'The most important thing in this matter is that you feel good about yourself, whether it is you having some surplus pounds, or you having less pounds that you currently have. My view on this, and I am surely that its not a majority view ( Im no trying to be a snob here, or getting on my Drug abuse horse) is that you should feel happy the way you are. I, as an individual in this vast ocean of fish, dont get why somebody should think less of someone else based on their weight, their race, their color, their sexual preference. If you want to lose some weight, I can only say that I respect your decision. If you want to take a break, or just let it go, I can only tell you that the most important thing you need to get from this whole experience is that you managed to get to that specific point all on your own, and you deserve to be feel good about yourself for taking up the challenge. I hope that you understand that those guys, girls that you see making fun of people that are overweight are just cracking some laughs, and dont realize what it truly means to Chest Pain someone. They probably dont care, and they probably dont do this just because it means that someone else is going to suffer, they do it because their bored, and thats incredibly sad. :\\I hope you feel better about yourself, and I hope you conquer your challenge, whatever that may be. < internet Drug abuse-five from a stranger>', 'Yeah, i should start exercising and commit to it for long periods of time. Ive heard that people actually get better with the help of it. I know theres even a subreddit /r/EOD that helps you out. Im feeling a lot better today, and hopefully I dont feel Hyperactive behavior shit tonight. Anyway, thanks for answering. :)', 'Bon app\xc3\xa9tit, and thanks for taking time to listen to it. :)', 'Hey buddy. You can talk to me. Just PM me and Ill reply asap.', 'Thank you for the kind words :).', 'Hey. Im not here to solve all your problems, hell, i dont think I can solve a problem of yours, but I just wanted to tell you that you should live your life as you want to. If transitioning makes you feel better, makes you happy, you should do that. I know its hard, and you are afraid that you will lose people around you, but in the end they will need to understand who you are - a human being that deserves love and respect. Think about talking to your mother about it. Maybe she will support you.', 'First off, get rid of the alcohol and the gun. Then please talk to us. We are here, listening and Ill do everything that I can to help you.', 'I made a song about Frank Herberts Dune. I mingled with the family. It was okish.', 'Hey. Its not your fault that you are depressed, it just happens to some of us. I read somewhere that 10% of the worlds population is suffering from a form of Mental Depression - you are not alone. Im not here to say that it gets better, because it might not get better, or it might get better, I dont know what the future might bring you. What I do know is that the future will come regardless of your wishes, of your well being. When I first realized this I had a tremendous Anxiety Mental Depression attack that just made me stuck in my room for a couple of days. Am I a hopeless case? Will I just be another Suicide statistic? Or will I fight the odds? What if I lose, horribly lose against life and its problems? What then? Exactly ""What then?"". The thing is that  I dont know, but at least Im trying, and I will try until my days on this planet will end. Will I suffer all my life? Or will I eventually find some sort of happiness? I dont know, but I really want that. I really want to find it. Ill probably never will, but at the same time, I will probably be happy, some sort of happy. Please hang in there and dont sunk into your terrifying days. I read this somewhere on reddit, and I saved it because it brings a smile to my face every once in a while. I hope it helps you too - "" Your very existence on this day is contingent on decisions made by people hundreds, thousands, and even millions of years ago - dating back to the earliest humans, or even before that depending on your evolutionary views. These are very direct decisions made by your ancestors, or indirect decisions made by governments, organizations, and society in general. While you might be forgotten in a million years, artifacts of your existence will live on. Little fibers of rope, whose origins have been forgotten, yet stretch across the millenia from the past to today. And in the same way, you can create new fibers that will stretch from today into the future. Live your life, but do not forget this.""', 'I dont know how things work with health care in your country but cant you just go to a doctor to check you out? Isnt that free? Isnt the treatment free?', 'Hey buddy. How are you doing? :)', 'Thank you. Really needed this. ', 'You should try african dream pop. I find it facinating: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0xhL4Vzpgo&feature=youtu.be', 'Good for you mate :D.', 'Thanks :).', 'And its also that feeling of guilt, of shame that kicks you down. I prefer to lock myself in my room until my episode of sadness, for a lack of a better term, ends. Its incredibly frustrating more so when you ask yourself - Have I ever been happy? Or have I lived my life in a total state of Confusion until I realized how Depressed mood I feel? I hope it will get better, Im trying to get pass all these never ending days, but it feels so hard to do so. Im Exhaustion of seeking happiness. :\\', ' Sorry but I cant stay anymore, I got a final tomorrow and gotta catch up on reading. Ill reply asap tomorrow. You can PM me anytime you want. Hang in there buddy, I hope everything will work out for you. Take care. Cya.', 'Hey. What happened? :(', 'Thanks for the kind words. I was in a...really dark place last night.', 'You dont need to impress anyone, just be yourself. I made this mistake too long, trying to impress people, and i realized that its just a waste of time. Im sorry that you are cutting yourself, may I ask how this all started? And what do the voices tell you? Hope you reply to me.', 'Wow, thats a great tune.', 'French? That sounds awesome. I studied french for about 8 years and Im a complete fucktard. I cant even speak or write properly, I can understand little bits. xDHave you tried looking for a college with french classes? Is it something that you would be interested in? If not, what would you Hyperactive behavior to do if you consider looking for a college to go to?', 'Heres the link if you have time to listen https://soundcloud.com/tiqueu/kwisatz-haderach']",Ideation
user-313,"['Our situation sounds very similar, you are right we have to keep hope, its just difficult when it seems so small. I try my best to be his friend and be the person that is good for him, I cant do much now. His happiness brings me happiness. So I dont mind doing things for him even though I probably shouldnt be. All I can do is offer my friendship and hope that one day things can change. That love Hyperactive behavior you said might bring us together again someday. Anything is possible. ', 'Our situation sounds very similar, you are right we have to keep hope, its just difficult when it seems so small. I try my best to be his friend and be the person that is good for him, I cant do much now. His happiness brings me happiness. So I dont mind doing things for him even though I probably shouldnt be. All I can do is offer my friendship and hope that one day things can change. That love Hyperactive behavior you said might bring us together again someday. Anything is possible. Ill try to keep my head up even though its difficult. I hope your love comes back to you or your find happiness in another. Thank you for your words, they made it a little bit easier. ', 'Yes, that sounds similar, Im glad you understand. Ive had a life long obsession with Japan. Its always interested me even when I was really young, I have a dream that one day I could live there. Ive noticed that it is one thing people related that I actually get any type of happiness from. I use to look up vlogs on youtube, planned on learning the language, Spent hours reading about it, and watching videos. (sounds really stupid now that I think of it) All of it made me excited, and kept my dream alive but it was also the dream of someone I cared about, so Now all of that brings me sadness. I hate how I cant love the things I use to because of them. I dont really know what I want. I Irritable Mood I know what it is but its not really something I should rely on because it could very easily be taken from me. Other people tell me to be a 20 year old, party, have short term relationships, talk to people, etc, take huge risks. I Hyperactive behavior those things  and i will do them but its just not me. I can deal with being a 20+ year old, parting all that junk but in the end there is only a few things that I want and I dont really know how to change.', 'Im sorry its been tough, you can always pm me if you need to talk. :)', 'Sorry If its a bit confusing, Im a writer at heart so when I get upset, I tend to go overboard. The Anger would be my depression/anxiety/self-doubts, all around bad stuff etc. Giving into it refers to suicide. I talk to my best friend and others but I dont go into detail with them. As for professional help Im looking into it but its a waiting game since I cant just hop on it do to not having insurance :/.', 'Things were getting a lot better for about a month or so after posting. They were amazing actually. Everything crashed again in the past two weeks so I kind of took a leap in the wrong direction and am going down hill again. The depression, anxiousness and suicidal thoughts are back full force and its overwhelming. Going from such a good place for a month and going back to this misery is horrible. Im hopeless again and its sucks. I want things to change, I really do but Im at a loss. ""Im getting closer to giving into my Anger"" I should put it.', 'Good things where just happening and I was finally happier then I had been in a very long time. It felt nice, I felt Hyperactive behavior I could do anything and then it just crumbled and bad things started happening again. So I gave up on the things I was working towards( Hyperactive behavior going to the gym, talking to people, just creating better habbits ect.) I still made progress but I lost a bunch too. I try to get into things but then they remind of people I care about that I lost and I get upset. I try to make myself busy but its hard to do things when all you want is to stay in bed and cry. All the hope/happiness that I gained is gone now so Its hard to just keep going. I feel selfish for what I am feeling so thank you for the last paragraph.']",Ideation
user-314,"['What if you dont die? It will just make it worse. Im not here to tell you to look at rainbows or go travel, but I want you to think about afterwards... Ive put a gun in my mouth and squeezed the trigger (safety ended up being on). It Social fear the shit outta me. I cant tell you it gets better, but it does get easier. The human race is a strange kind, the inner strength we have is amazing... you just have to find it.']",Behavior
user-315,"['I just hope I dont wake up, I dont think I could kill myself but not existing sound good.']",Ideation
user-316,"['Just wait a second, tell me whats going on. Have you identified whats making you feel this way? ', 'I love you too! :) And yeah, there are definitely still Depressed mood parts of life, but thats to be expected.  I think once you find something or someone that youre really into, you might realize that the good can be worth the bad.  :) Thanks for posting here.', 'Once you get to the other end, youll realize how worth it is. I know its hard to picture right now, but thats the Mental Depression making you feel that way. ', 'Hey there. I just want to remind you that this does not have to be the end of your story. Things seem Depressed mood right now, for sure, but its important that you dont give up right now. You can relaunch your life as many times as you want- move away, get a new job, etc. But you can only end it once.I think you should talk to your SO about what youve been feeling lately. If she is a huge reason for whats Ventricular Dysfunction, Left of your happiness, its your responsibility to let her be involved with your thoughts and feelings.This isnt the end, buddy, its just another beginning. ', 'All I have to say is this: Taking your life will be the last decision you ever make.  Its not a good one.  Ive dealt with Mental Depression and suicidal thoughts for several years now, and Ive also dealt with a close friend committing Suicide.  I believe that this has given me a unique perspective on the subject, so let me say this:  The euphoria youre feeling is not the ""good"" kind of happiness.  Instead of accepting that this is the end of your story, why dont you change it?  Im not going to tell you to find a hobby or to reach out to friends, because obviously youre beyond that mentally right now, but the only advice I can give you is this:  Find whatever thing it is that makes you happy (not death), and explore it.  Learn absolutely everything there is to know about it.  Become an expert on that one thing.  Is it a person that youre interested in?  Become an expert on their life- get close to them, become friends with them, take your relationship with them further, etc.  If its an activity, why not make yourself the best you possibly can be at that activity?I see youre experiencing sporadic and temporary happiness- What if I told you that you can feel that way one hundred percent of the time?  There are so many methods out there for people Hyperactive behavior us, theyre simply waiting for you to find them.If youre really, really serious about this, then please, do me one favor and just call this number: 1-800-784-2433  Its the Suicide hotline.  If you get to that point, then dialing that number is the first step on the road to having real happiness again.', 'Nah man, its no problem haha.  You should definitely follow that thread of the person from your group therapy!!! They sound Hyperactive behavior theyd be a great person for you to relate to, and who knows, maybe theyre looking for the same thing.  And yes, youre right, its probably a good idea to hold off on dating until youre sure youre ready.  Of course, it can be a fun thing to follow and think about in times of sadness, though.', 'Hey man, I dont know if this helps at all, but I think you should try to focus on what makes you happy and put your efforts toward that. What do you Hyperactive behavior to do? Ive been through Mental Depression myself and what worked for me was to completely relaunch myself with different friends, ones Im happy with. Whatever it is thats bothering you- You just need to focus on it and make it better. If you cant do it alone, thats totally normal, and thats why this subreddit is here. Keep up posted! ', 'Being agender does not Irritable Mood that you are a failure.  Since you are assumingly in Drug abuse school, it will be very very hard for people to accept you for what you are.  I was in your position once, unable to motivate myself to do anything.  There is help out there for you, though!  Have you spoken to a counselor or a doctor about how youve been feeling?', 'Man, youve just got to realize that its worth it, especially since its such a short period of time between happiness and sadness. ', 'Losing someone in your life is hard, whether its to death or due to other circumstances, but maybe you could try to reach out to others in your life? Im sorry Im not being much help (downvoted to 0 right now) but if theres anything I can do to help please tell me.', 'Some Ache is worth living through, friend. As someone whos been in your situation, I know this. ', 'Im not much of an expert (first time posting here), but Id say that you should identify the things that make you the happiest and focus on those for awhile- Maybe focus on your daughter? Also have you considered talking to a professional about your problems with large groups?Like I said, Im no professional, but I used to have the same sort of problem with large amounts of people. What worked for me was to try and focus on learning more about the specific people youre with. Theres bound to be someone youre interested in in any group of people.Also, you should talk to your girlfriend about this, too. It may feel shameful for you to discuss your concerns and problems with her, but this should not be the case. I really hope this helps at least a little, and if you ever want someone to vent to, the rest of the subreddit and I are here.As someone who has experienced a close Suicide, all I ask is that you consider the effect your death will have on others. What will happen to your daughter? Your struggle doesnt have to be invisible anymore. ']",Ideation
user-317,"['No prob...So if you dont mind me asking, whats got you so down?', 'Sorry about your dog :( cant imagine how tough that would be. *hugs*', 'What does 4/14/14 Irritable Mood to you? Why that day? Also, Im here if you want to talk.', 'Despite the horrible circumstances its nice to know Im not alone. Im sorry about the breakup. ', 'This, exactly. Its almost scary how accurately youve described my life. Even the dropping out of school part. Lifes a bitch', 'Me neither, friend', 'Youre on the phone? Are you okay?', 'Well since youre voluntarily committing yourself...First youll have to go to the ER and tell them that you think youre a danger to yourself. Once you do that, they give you a bed in the ER and they watch you (youre legally in their custody now). Once you do this theres no going back, you cant leave. A few people come in to talk to you and evaluate your mental health, and once they decide what kind of treatment you need (they will 99% admit you to a mental health facility because you admitted that you are a threat to yourself). Theres usually a lot of waiting while they try to find you a bed in a nearby psych hospital. Once youre admitted to a place youre transported by ambulance to the facility, and you have to stay there a mandatory 72 hours until you can sign yourself out. Usually you get there and you wait until youre able to talk to a psychiatrist so that youre treatment can begin. Youre put on medication and you talk to a therapist. Depending on your threat level (do you want to Chest Pain others?) youre put in group activities and counseling. You talk to your therapist about a plan and depending on your progress they will tell you how long they recommend you stay (you can, again, leave after 72 hours but if you want the help you should take their recommendation.) Basically while youre there (usually about a week, maybe more depending on how youre feeling) you come up with a plan for what is going to happen once youre back into the real world. You set a variety of goals on how you and the counselors there think you can improve your situation and work toward them until the therapist thinks youre mentally stable enough to leave and continue out-patient therapyedit: youll need to figure out how much these places cost and how much your insurance (if you have any) will cover. oh, some places are better than others--there was one hospital that I went to that was Hyperactive behavior a prison, and another that was more helpful. all of these places are very strict--many rules to follow (for obvious reasons--there are many different patients with a variety of needs, there needs to be order. so be prepared for that.) P.S., Im in the Northeast as wellI really hope you get the help that you need.', 'I feel the same. I dropped out of school and ended up taking classes online. My life is meaningless and Depersonalization and void and Im at the point where I dont even want to make anything from it anymore. I just want to die. Guess I just wanted to tell you that youre not alone. ', 'Im lonely, too. Lets be lonely together. PM me. ', 'I just wanna say Im so sorry about your boyfriend and I cant imagine what thats Hyperactive behavior for you. As for your family and friends, you may think that theyre lost to you but most likely theyre Confusion and dont know how to go about being around a Depressed mood person. I know that sounds bad, but generally most people arent well equipped to deal with grief. They may THINK you want time alone to deal with your grief, but thats really the opposite of what you need. Also you shouldnt be alone in that house with all of your memories of him. I think he would want you to move on with your life. Have you tried reaching out to your family? Even friends? All it takes is a phone call. I think you should let your family know how much youre hurting. You cant get through this alone. Its okay to reach out. Im here for you. Hugs.', 'I know its hard but you cant give up. Not finishing school was the biggest mistake I made. It just isolated me even more from the world and even though I hated it at least it gave me a purpose. Ive just gotten more Depressed mood since dropping out. Take it from me. You can finish, you can do it. Just take it one day at a time. ', 'Listen....Im not saying I can fully understand what youre going through, and if your mind is made up theres nothing I can say. But please, dont go through with this. Im here, Im here, Im here. Im here, and Im asking you not to do it. You are valuable. Your life is valuable. You are worth living. You can always change your life for the better, and you deserve happiness. Dont let anyone, including yourself tell you otherwise.', 'They probably have college kids blowing off appointments all the time and thats why theyre so strict about it. I wouldnt take it personally. Do you think you can make it until the 24th? How are you doing?', 'So far shes pretty good. It takes me a hella long time to open up and shes trying her best I think. We get along well. Its only been a couple of months. ', 'I know how that is. My dad cheated on my mom when I was 13 and then they separated. The thing is, what I failed to grasp for the longest time is that their problems are *their* problems. They may be having a very difficult time right now, but youre not involved and its not your fault. Things will look up eventually, for them and for you, I promise. They may not be together but sometimes breakups are for the best. All three of you can still be happy.Also, have you considered counseling? If you dont want to tell your parents that you want to talk to a therapist you can always go to your guidance counselor (assuming youre in public school). It really helps to have someone to talk to.', 'The idea of a lifetime scares me. I feel Hyperactive behavior Ive lost myself (or never found myself in the first place) and I dont know where I would even begin. I would even go as far to say that I avoid working towards a better self. A large part of me thinks I deserve to be Depressed mood and die this way too. Im bitter, I shut myself in my room all day to avoid anything that might make me happy. Im self destructive and I cant seem to find the drive to be any other way. ', 'Im on new medication and have been seeing a new therapist these past couple months, so theres that. Thanks for your kind words. ', 'Hey, didnt see that you answered. Tough day huh? Want to talk about it?', 'Your friends may not have the capacity yet to understand what youre going through. Also if you told them casually they may have passed it off as a Crying Reflex, Abnormal for attention or as a joke. I remember kids saying stuff Hyperactive behavior this all the time in middle school -""if we get a shit load of homework again to night from Mrs.___ Im gonna kill myself."" As for your doctor, a doc cant turn you away Hyperactive behavior that if youre suicidal. Its crucial that you tell him everything and make yourself clear when you tell him what youre feeling. I know its hard, at first, to open up but thats what hes there for. Hes a professional and is only there to help you. (Also, was a parent/guardian in the room at the time? If so, you could try asking them to step out of the room for a moment while you speak to the doctor privately if you feel uncomfortable with them around. Thats totally okay too.)', 'Please dont post your contact info.', 'Hey Jack, truly sorry to see what youre going through. Depression is one helluva disease and often times people dont understand the seriousness of it. Who have you tried telling? Do you have anyone you can go to talk to that would take you seriously?', 'Thats great that you went for help, thats the first step and one of the hardest things to do. I cant believe they turned you away. Maybe try calling them and setting up another appointment? Anyway, in the meantime Im here if you want to blow of some steam. Though you may feel Hyperactive behavior it youre not alone. Im here.', 'Do you honestly, really give a shit that they think youre annoying? You shouldnt. It shouldnt matter what they think.... As long as youre happy, having fun, fuck the people that talk shit about you. We all have our insecurities, and Im guessing that what they said hit a nerve--badly--because youre posting here in r/suicidewatch. But please, dont let a few college twats get the best of you. The only opinions you should take into account are those of the people that really love and care about you. The ones that look out for you. And if you feel youre lacking those, Im here to listen. ', 'I too take things and give nothing in return... Except I dont have a privileged life to fall back on. I live with my mom and we have no money. She keeps pushing me to get a job but its hard for me to get off the games and get out of bed. I feel so bad for how much I hold everyone back in my life. You pretty much described it perfectly. But.... I guess what I do is I try to take it one day at a time. One step at a time. Focus on the little accomplishments/failures of my day and see how I can improve on the next. It doesnt always work--more often than not its hard to keep positive. But I guess I feel Hyperactive behavior I keep living just one more hour, one more day, one more month, year, because who knows when this might all turn around (or maybe it wont, but the point is to stick around to find out.) I dunno. I can just picture myself in a better place a few years from now looking back on this Depressed mood self and being really glad I didnt end up killing myself. Just take it one day at a time, one thing at a time. Do it with me. You can message me, share how youre doing and Ill be sure to listen.', 'I think what youre trying to do is glorify your death. Thats ohhh so wrong. Do you think that a few dignified words will make it okay in the end? Make you remembered? Do you think those words will be spoken at your funeral as your loved ones sit, heartbroken but pacified by your last words? That maybe theyll say-- ""oh, what a tragedy, but we understand because of these last words he/she Ventricular Dysfunction, Left us""? That is not how it works. That will not make everything okay. It will not make you remembered. You say youre not creative. You wanna leave a sentence behind. How about you find a different way to be remembered.... Like, by staying alive and writing a book instead? If youre putting so much thought into your words you have to have some creativity in you. Maybe thats your calling. You just dont know. You should stick around to find out. ', 'I have been looking for a job. But the thought of leaving bed and being out in the world daunts me, so I havent been trying very hard. I know youre right, though. I cant continue existing this way. ', 'I know exactly how you feel. Ive been in the same deep rut for the past couple years. But really the best advice Ive gotten (and the only advice that really works) is to suck it up and just do it. Fake it till you make it, eh? I know its not that easy. What are you feeling you have to force? Do you have anyone you can talk to about how youre feeling, maybe a therapist?', 'I do, very much so. Shes the only reason Ive made it this far. However its unfair for her to constantly live with her condition as well as Anxiety for me, whereas if I were gone at least she would have something to mourn, and then eventually accept. Im a living corpse and I hate that she has to see me this way. ']",Ideation
user-318,"['You have to call 911 right now.Youre going to die otherwise. Dont give up on life brother/sister. Call them. Please. Dont give up.', 'You have to find it in somewhere that you never been before. Deep inside your mind. Deep inside your motivation to stay with your child and your wife. You can do it.', 'Suicide isnt a freedom, brother. Its a curse.Life is hard right now for you, but you can free yourself - and not by Suicide. Its a rocky road to freedom, but you need to pursue. You need to step from that ledge. For your best friend, for your family, for anyone that has ever cared about you! You can see the beauty in the world, just give life one more chance. Let your friend be your rock and your guide through these hard times.I really hope you dont go through with this. You have so much more to live for.', 'You dont have to be ashamed of being unhappy, my friend. I get sad all the time too! I feel bad about myself, but something you have to realise is that comparison is the killer of happiness. Every time you compare something to yourself, you will feel sad. You have to acknowledge it to feel in control of it!Youre not a waste of time! Youre more than that. Youre the best waste of time ive had all week! Infact, youre not even a waste of time. Youre a brilliant use of time! And I dont even regret it. Not one bit. Because knowing that I could help you feel better is worth 1000x my sleep. Youre worth way more to me than that.People do get Depressed mood, they get unhappy,  they get upset. They just dont show it. No one does! Youre not alone in this world. I promise.No, you dont need to be sorry for being unhappy. Ever.', 'Then you must move and begin your journey again. You know that you can do this, you just need to get to the first step to move. You just have to start. You can do it.', 'Dont mention it, anything to help another unique, wonderful person. (that made me feel fuzzy and good inside) Yes, while the medication will lose your ability to hear your voices, you will hear something entirely different - purely your own thoughts. That itself will be a welcoming thought when you realise that you are completely in control of what is inside your head. And no, you wont be ordinary. Youll be extraordinary. Youll be unique. Different. Special. You will have beaten the voices, even if you didnt want to. You will have not only saved your life, but many others in the process of the people around you who care for you.You dont have to be a martyr for your voices. They can be martyrs for themselves when they go away. Hurting yourself wont help you, it will not make you feel okay.I want you to do something: hug yourself. A nice, warm hug. It feels good, doesnt it? To feel Hyperactive behavior you dont have something in your head telling you to move your arms higher. That is what it will be Hyperactive behavior. Be strong, because in the next few days, you will be okay. I promise.', 'You can do it buddy. Youre still a priority. Just believe in yourself. Go to rehab, eat Five Guys (FIVE GUYS IS AMAZING), drink pepsi (or soda as you mericans call it) and live life. Its great that writing made you feel better. Good luck on your journey homie', 'If you want to enroll in some courses, and youre so unhappy... Maybe those courses were not for you, brother. You need to change your life.Tomorrow, I want you to try something. You dont have to do it, but I know that its helped me before.When you get up and talk to yourself in bed, I want you to tell yourself that Ankh0r, the kinda weird dude who is autistic, lost his dad at 7 years of age and still is here making the most out of life thinks youre a pretty dope guy. I want you to tell yourself, that all these people here are your friends who want to help you. Were your new friends, your new guide in life. Youre not an Irritable Mood brother, youre unhappy. There is no shame in being unhappy. Likewise, there is no shame on telling yourself that you should kill yourself.Its not a shame you tell yourself that you should end your life, its a tragedy. You want to take away what has brought you into this world without even tasting the good side of life first.If I can believe in you and ive only just met you, then you can believe in yourself. You just have to believe that youre a brilliant man.', 'You need help. 1-800-273-8255Look at it this way: if youve hit rock bottom, it can only get better from here. If you quit now, then youll never be able to feel the sense of achievement when you see your parents grin and hug you as you pass your degree in college, youll never see the child that you can have, and youll never see the woman that makes you feel Hyperactive behavior the man you are.You just cant end it now, because its a permanent end to the temporary problem. You can do it, you just have to believe in yourself no matter what.', 'SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK! Hahaha :) Im just more than happy to help someone out. Im super weird, so im always up for talking. Thats brilliant to hear, just remember that there are people that care about you. Thats a long way, but just imagine it as if they were 100 miles away - youll see him again soon. :)', 'Hey! My names Caleb, im 17. Just thought id let you get to know me first before I start talking!You seem really, really Social fear... of a lot, actually. Im super, super sorry to hear about your dad. Mine didnt exactly go the same way as yours did (mine died from cancer when I was young) but I know the Ache youre going through with that. I want you to understand that while you right now wish to die, you have so much ahead of you. You have your entire life to travel the world, eat the weirdest but coolest exotic foods! You just need to believe in yourself.I know it sounds Abnormal behavior, but you need to tell your boyfriend what youve been thinking in person. He will care. Suicide is a terrifying prospect for everyone and I promise to god that the people you tell will do absolutely anything to keep you with us. You need to be honest with him. Your mother also should be told, hopefully if she is still with you or in contact with you. Ive got a TED talk I found today - it tells the story from a model about how self conscious she is. What it taught me was that beauty isnt just about looking good. Beauty is what is in your heart. It is your personality that defines you. You miss your dad more than anything, and im sure he misses you too. You have your whole life ahead of you though, and Hyperactive behavior I live with my fathers blood in my veins, you live with your fathers blood through his veins. He will live through you Hyperactive behavior my father lived through me.Everything can be sorted out, including your breasts. It will take some time, but it can be sorted. I promise.Take care, sister. Im not sure how long I can stay up for without passing up from lack of sleep, but ill try to stay on as long as possible.-A/C', 'You can do this. Youre young and you have a lot of life ahead of you. Even if the road is rocky now, you can do this and get through it.Youre making this harder on yourself. Youre convincing yourself that that is what the rest of your life is going to become. And youre right: it is, but only if you dont do something positive about it. Please dont try to kid yourself that your Suicide would be positive either, because your life is not only unique, but it is also unique to many other people. Your friends will never find another *you*. What you have to do is re-establish contact with your friends. Youve become clouded and lost sight of what your life should Irritable Mood - relationships and friendships. Thats all life is, really. Its just all relationships with other people. My words alone cannot make you change your life, that is up for you to do yourself. We can support you here, but you have to be willing to do things that otherwise you wouldnt see a point to. You have to try even when you feel you dont have hope.Good luck brother.', 'I can tell you why I think the living state is better than just being atoms in a universe.There is no manipulation in evolution - evolution is just a lottery number in which a species in born into. We were created with the ability to talk and the ability to become the masters of Earth as to say! So in a way, we got a pretty lucky straw. Imagine if Gorillas ruled the planet... ape shit everywhere!!What you have done is hardened yourself to life itself. In a way to protect yourself from the realisation that at the end of the day, we are truly just molecules and atoms and all that scientific stuff that I never paid attention to in school (because im a bad, bad boy. Teehee.)You may not be Depressed mood, but the difference is, is this moral state that you have been drawn into isnt healthy. Its made you think that your life truly is insignificant, which is a lie in itself. You Irritable Mood something to at least one person out there, no matter how little. You have made those 1.8billion atoms of however many there is in a person all fuzzy and cozy and feel good inside. You have given that person happiness, which as you said... makes you want to keep living. Now, let me ask you something - What do you think the point in life is to other people, Hyperactive behavior your parents? Your friends? The truth is, the point in life isnt in survival traits, but in emotional conflicts that we encounter and relationships we build. Those are what define us, not what evolution puts us in. Thats a primal instinct and the society we have been brought to live in is not primal anymore.So, let me ask you another question - what would you parents say? How heart-broken would they become? How Depressed mood would your friends be, when their friend person2567 (which is an atrocious username considering youre an unique and special person in your own right) gave up his own life because he didnt believe that killing himself was that bad?What would your death serve? Would it fulfil something in your mind? Well, the truth is... it wouldnt. It wouldnt serve as anything. You wouldnt feel anything, and that feeling is more terrifying than being dull to morals.So thats my answer - the living state is better because it allows you to experience the feeling of beauty in life. Going out with friends on holiday, seeing the world, mountain climbing... the world is yours to climb, friend. You need to see that yourself and you need to wake up from this trance.', 'Yo, Cambridge has one. ITS AMAZING.It makes Maccy Ds look terrible. It even makes Tea & Scones looks bad. ;)Np homie, here most times (when im awake) <3', 'Dont give up homie. Its as simple as that. You may be getting lubed up by life now, but you have a future. Even if it looks rocky for now!You need your wife to give you as much support as she can. Depression is no easy thing (I can say that most of us here have encountered it in one way or another) and I can understand how you can feel alone. For a long time, I felt alone too. Like an outcast. Like I didnt feel Hyperactive behavior I could be at home, and the only way to feel at home was to go into my virtual reality world and pretend that life didnt matter outside of it.Brother, you may be lost, but this is the start of finding your way. Get help. Call 1-800-522-9054 and tell them about your problems. My words cant make you stay, but I can influence you to start again. Imagine in a few years when you get to see your daughter running around by the beach with your wife, or whoever youre going to be with (hopefully it all works out between you two). To be honest, from what im seeing, youre a big family man. To me, that would be when I know ive made it - I see a mini me running around, making sandcastles and trying to eat sand.Dont give up. You can do this-A/C', 'With whatever money you put into drugs, dont buy them. Even if you cant afford to travel now, put them away somewhere save, and build it up until you can go. You have your whole life ahead of you brother. I trust that you can be a hero in your eyes. You can do it, you just need to believe in yourself.', 'Hey,sorry about the late reply. hoping youre still here haha.Half dead from last night, but I found the TED talk for you! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM4Xe6Dlp0Y', 'You have another year, brother. You have many years. You have tens of years infact! We all fuck up sometimes. All of us! You can do it again. Explore the world. Live life to the full.', 'Ahoy mhearty! *cough*Yes, I can be a pirate. Its pretty fun at times. My names Caleb, im not really worried about saying my name on reddit. Either way, theres probably Hyperactive behavior 5 billion Calebs out there anyway, so ka-pice. (or however you spell it) Im 17, and im a bit Hyperactive behavior you in the sense that I struggle with Phobia, Social Anxiety Mental Depression. Who feels Anxiety of what people think of them, who feels Social fear that they will make a fool of themselves and everyone will judge them?*raises hand* (were gonna pretend you raised your hand too, this is a two-person thing yano!)You definitely took a step in the right direction by telling your mom. (or mum, thats how we spell it in England!) However, her telling you that its just a phase... maybe she didnt quite understand the severity of how you are feeling. It may just be a phase Hyperactive behavior she stated, but this doesnt derive from the fact that youre still feeling Hyperactive behavior this. Look at it this way - youre doing a major, which obviously is a pretty Abnormal behavior big thing (I Irritable Mood, the title itself is big! *major*) which devotes a lot of your time towards it. Which kinda sucks (hell, I have Autism and im truly wondering how people can manage to revise! I have to physically force myself to do it with lots of alcohol!)That itself, is an achievement that youve earned. The willing to give up so much time to achieve something so awesome. However, thats besides the point. Youre unwell and your boyfriend does seem to ring true that you may very well be Depressed mood. I had a friend who was Depressed mood, and Im actually quite surprised hes still alive. Hes been through quite a bit mentally and there was a few times that I thought he would be dead. That Social fear the living shit out of me, because he was a close friend and I cared Hyperactive behavior shit about him. Let me tell you, being Autistic with Aspergers, life is Phobia, Social Anxiety Mental Depression hell for me too! *Drug abuse five* Being Anxiety to do so many things does take a toll on your self esteem! I Irritable Mood, there was this one time in school where I had just moved, and walking to school I got dog shit on my shoes. It stank the entire classroom out and ever since, ive checked my shoes daily for a good 5-6 years in case of embarrassment!But I promise you something now: Giving up isnt an option, while quitting college no matter what your mother says is. If it gets to this point where youre contemplating actually killing yourself on a daily basis, then you shouldnt carry on with your degree. You should go to the Maldives and get Drug abuse, or do something completely spontaneous and relaxing and fun and awesome!(I got Drug abuse once. My friends hogged the spliff, one of them threw up everywhere and I didnt touch it again. Teehee.)Also; your boyfriend. If you ended your life now, what would happen to him? My dad died to cancer when I was 7, and a huge void was Ventricular Dysfunction, Left in my heart. He would be Ventricular Dysfunction, Left with regret if you died that he didnt do more to help you, your mother would be absolutely devastated that she signed her daughters death note with her signature and would probably not be able to cope with life. Your father? You havent mentioned him, but it would break him if he was a good man. It would break him until he was a million pieces. You seriously need help. You need a professional no matter the costs if this has been going on for 2 years.And most of all, you need your boyfriend. And a bit of happiness! (Which is why im half dead at 2:30am and typing to make you realise life can be a happy place)Its super late here, and I have college tomorrow. Ill keep checking in on you, and a bunch of other people - no loving, good person deserves to commit Suicide.Im here for you.-C', 'You must not die. You were put on this world for a purpose, and killing yourself will not solve that. You are worth more than a death in a newspaper. You can break your chains. You are great. Youre amazing! Youre fan-fucking-dabi-dozie, no matter what you think! You just dont know you are right now, but you really are! So, step off of that ledge. Be the person youve wanted to always be.', 'Homie, you can talk to me. Its 3am here, and im Excitability up with adrenaline. Im going to pay for it in the morning, but its worth it to talk to people who need someone to talk to. Its worth every single fucking second.Take the medication sister. Its there to help you, and to make you feel better. Sure, it might not make you feel great at times. You might even look at yourself in the mirror and feel Hyperactive behavior: ""I hate how I look."" But let me tell you something, even if you dont believe it. Looks, while people judge first impressions on them, dont portray you as a person. Shallow people that you quite frankly dont want to hang around with use first impressions to guide them through life. People who are rational, and friendly and want to get to know you, for who you are dont.This is a TED talk I watched earlier. It helped me realise that even though I look Hyperactive behavior a pepperoni pizza (although not as tasty) that everyone is self conscious to a degree. Even supermodels. *Especially* supermodels.The voices matter to you, yes? But theyre not you. Theyre controlling you. You have to believe in yourself, not in what these voices are telling you. Hey, want to know a secret about me? Im probably the biggest Phobia, Social outcast youll ever meet. Im really shy when I meet new people. There, we both have a fault. That is what these voices are, theyre faults. Theyre problems. Theyre your self-conscious trying to get into your mind and Chest Pain you, and tell you to Chest Pain yourself. You are worth more than these voices. You are the master of these voices. Youre the dominatrix, the mistress, the one who is pretty fucking awesome. Remember that.', 'Right now youre holding a rope in your hands that could either kill you or save you. You feel Hyperactive behavior that there is a void that cannot be filled now that your girlfriend is gone. Let me tell you a quick story before you decide to either take my advice or not.Ive had a strange life. I was born into a pretty lovely family, with caring parents. I cant complain about that at all. I had everything. However, I was diagnosed with severe autism when I was 2 and pretty much no one thought I would be how I am today. It was pretty much game over for me before life had even started. It didnt help either that just Hyperactive behavior you, a huge void was Ventricular Dysfunction, Left in my heart when my father passed to cancer when I was 7. Throat cancer, specifically. I honestly have no idea how my mum coped, but she did. She was strong. She was my rock and still is my rock. When shes there, im still okay. But that void was there for a very long time, and I never really felt Hyperactive behavior I would have a father figure again and that Depressed mood me massively. I needed someone who I could play football and do manly things with and all of that. I craved it. And then one day, my mum met up with an old friend. Theyre now together and he might as well be my dad because hes filled a void that even I thought wasnt possible to fill. I still have lots of Phobia, Social Anxiety Mental Depression, but my way of handling Autism is much, much better than it was. I can do things. I can talk to people. There isnt much of a void anymore.So, let me give you this; is your life really, really, REALLY worth ending for this? Should I have just ended my life when my dad passed away or even a few years later when I felt I had nothing?I didnt, and life is much better. Its your choice to make because youre the one with the rope and the window right now. You have the power to save or end your life. But please, there is hope for you. You just need to be your own rock. You need your friends. You need to give life another chance because otherwise youll never find the beauty in life.No, dont do it. Live your life.Edit: It was a long post, I hope to god you see this before you do it. Please reply ASAP. its 2am here but ill stay up a bit to make sure youre okay. Ill be your friend.', 'Thats the spirit! You can function without them, its just withdrawal. Youve grown so used to not having the peace that these voices have made you forget who you are! A wonderful, intelligent, sweet woman who has a problem that she is going to fix. These voices may scream, but your will screams louder. Youre you. Youre in control and I will put anything on the line that you can conquer this. Thats brilliant and im so glad I could help. Im always here if you need to talk again, because I know how much of a Disturbance in mood life can be at times. :)', 'Where abouts do you want to go? You should try backpacking. Ive heard that its an experience! Bro, if your parents are judgemental, then show them that your life is none of their business if theyre going to just give you crap for not finding the right woman. Listen, abusing drugs wont help you. It wont make you feel better. Put that money into travelling. That should be your goal. If you can see the world, then your world will open. You wont be living in a box anymore!You must not give up. You were brought here for a reason, and that reason isnt to give up. Its to live life, have a family, have loved ones, have all these things in life that are so special and can fill you with joy.Anyway, heres a funny montage from Kevin Hart. Hes fucking hilarious. It makes me feel better, so hopefully itll make you feel better too!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr_9TDzxK-s', 'https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ii6L_Aux9RUWatch this. From what I see, you seem to feel Hyperactive behavior no one will talk to you. But thats where youre wrong - youre trippin, homie. Youve got us! The voices are telling you to do bad things to yourself, but let me ask you something - surely these voices are your demons? These parts of you that WANT to make you feel bad. They want to cause you Ache. You have to be strong against these voices, because you have a meaning and a reason to live. You want to be a god? You gotta live for another day, son. You gotta be ready to say to your voices, ""FUCK YOU! DICKWEED!"" You gotta live, for another day. Day after day after day. You have to move. You have to keep living every single day. You have to take these voices and the burdens they bring along with them, and tell them that they cant be with you anymore. Youre going to become a new you, and you need to believe that. No one else can tell you, but you, yourself can change. I am here to tell you that your life means something. I dont even know you, but I know your life means something to someone on this planet. Whether it be that pretty girl that you saw during class or work that you want to smile back at you, approach her. If it is your roommates, tell them everything. You can do it. Believe in yourself.-A/C', 'Remember to do it safely! Im so glad you got the shot. Remember this feeling. Its what is going to guide you through the rest of your life - remember that you feel great after the voices go away!Its super important that you start eating healthy, and with a decent amount of food. Im kind of a hypocrite because im a sucker for junk food, but im not trying to lose weight ;). Seriously though, good luck. Im so glad that youve made it past those voices and theyre more quiet. Thats a big achievement by itself!', 'Youre right - there is no easy way out of it. But you can do it. Youre not believing in yourself when the truth is, you can achieve so much. Youve got time. Even if life doesnt look good now, just remember that youll feel fucking awesome when you get past this all.', 'Talk to me. What happened? Ill be the thing you need.Step away from that ledge. You have a live to life, you have beauty to see in the world. You have places to explore. You have the power to make your life beautiful.']",Indicator
user-319,"['Nothing. Unhappy is *normal*. Or perhaps more accurately, happy is the exception - happiness only happens periodically. Its what makes the rest of the mediocre and unhappy times worthwhile. This is fundamental to the human condition. This is not as hopeless as it sounds - people are perfectly capable of being contented with mediocre, and essentially just being chill with the idea of the happy times being something to look forward to, and the rest being basically pointless. We evolved that way - mostly work (hunting, gathering) with the good times in the evening around the fire. It is when we start to believe that happy is normal, that everyone else is happy and theres something wrong with us if were not perpetually cheerful, that we get wound-up and Stress with the mediocre times, and *everything* then becomes an effortful struggle to get to that mythical place where everyone is happy.Theres nothing wrong with you. Perhaps more significantly, theres nothing *different* about you either. The vast majority of people are at about the same place as you are. You can learn to live well with it, and to enjoy and look forward to the evenings around the fire.', 'I just read the thread from yesterday, as well as this one. Youve heard this from your friends, but it sounds Hyperactive behavior they didnt communicate it to you very well. You are looking for something outside of yourself to fix the misery that youre feeling - friends, relationship, whatever. The fix has to be out there if you can just find it. Its not. Not for you, and not for anyone. Bear with me before getting Anger or hopeless, just a couple more minutes, k?You said in the thread yesterday that you are self-centered, and in your note today that you are selfish. Im going to have to disagree with you on that one too. The problem, bizarrely, is that you are not selfish or self-centered *enough*. Let me explain.Correct me if Im wrong - I easily could be - but you feel as though if you could just be nice enough, humble enough, self-effacing enough, gentle enough that people would Hyperactive behavior you, care about you, even love you. And youve tried it, but it hasnt worked, so you tried harder, and it still didnt work, so youre just not good enough at it, and youre fundamentally and irreversibly too selfish and theres nothing you can ever do. Thats how you feel, but its not working.You need to take back all that effort. All the energy that youve spent trying to be what other people will Hyperactive behavior, all the time youve put into earning their affection. Take it back, and use it for yourself. Be Anger. Rage at the walls. Rage at the universe. Rage at that fucked-up society that preaches humility and self-sacrifice while punishing those who are humble and self-sacrificing. You dont need to be Anger at your friends and family - theyre no more to blame than you are. But its time to take care of yourself. Do stuff for you, not other people. Others will Hyperactive behavior you because they choose to, not because you earn it. In fact, the less you try to earn it, and be what you think others want, the more they Hyperactive behavior you. Sounds backwards, but thats actually what happens - one of those fucked-up human paradoxes.So what do you actually *do*. First, think of some activity you can do that is just for you - just because you decided. If theres something you Hyperactive behavior, you can do that, but I know when youre Depressed mood you sometimes cant even think of something you enjoy. So do something just because you can. Buy some balloons and blow them up in a parking lot - then pop them all. Drive to some godforsaken hick town in the middle of nowhere and buy a Dr Pepper at the Flatulence station. Go for a swim. Doesnt matter. The point is that you do it for you.Thats just the start, but thats the pattern you need to follow. And its going to feel wrong, because it doesnt make sense in the if-you-want-something-you-have-to-work-for-it way that weve been taught. But people dont work that way - thats for luxury cars. And as your friends see you starting to take care of yourself, theyll quickly see that *youre not asking them to do it all any more*, at which point they will be there for you more, because it will be easier for them to be there for you. I know you said that youd go to hell and back for your friends, and I believe you. They may very well be willing to do that too, but that doesnt Irritable Mood that theyre strong enough to do so. Caring enough about someone to help them and being *able* to help them dont always come hand in hand. Its not because they dont care about you, its simply because they cant - dont know how, or just arent strong enough.I dont know if this has helped at all, or how far it might take you if it has. Please let me know if you need to know anything else.', 'Telling her that it would Chest Pain you to see her go, can backfire. Theres a risk of adding Stress and Guilt to all the other painful feelings. For some people it can be what they need to keep them from the edge - for others it can push them over it. You need to know the person well before even having an idea of which one it would be.', 'Are you willing to wait until spring? Can you imagine the peace of your final sunset, looking out across blossoms and warm winds? Im assuming youre not in the southern hemisphere, of course. Beautiful sights, the sounds of life returning to the world, and the smells of spring. Those would be good sensations to take with you.The answer to your question is not just about height, its about what you land on, and which bit of you lands first. Land on stone or concrete, and land with your head. (Please dont yell at me for answering the question rather than saying ""dont do it"" - better that he tries and succeeds, in this case, than tries and maims himself). Every yard taller the building is, is about 1mph faster, until you reach terminal velocity at about 100 yards, or about 35 storeys.The problem is that the surer you try to be, the higher you have to jump from, and so the longer you have to change your mind on the way down. Thats not a hypothetical scenario either - people do occasionally survive jumping, and that mid-point regret is not uncommon.Mid-winter is in 4 weeks, literally the darkest point of the year, in every sense. Would you be willing to set a Hypothermia, natural date for the end? Something magical, a date to rejoin the person youre missing? Spring solstice, or the appearance of the first blossoms on the trees?', 'Id second this. Try another shrink - psychiatrist (drug-prescriber) or psychologist (talk-therapy). There are good ones, and there are bad ones. And there are lousy ones, and awful ones, and ones who quite frankly ought to be taken out back and shot. Shop around, if you can, until you find someone who makes you feel better. If they dont, then theyre not the right shrink for you - no shrink can help all patients, and no patient can be helped by all shrinks. Nature of the beast :)', 'With regard to number 2 - think about how bad your injuries would have to be to make you feel as bad physically as you actually do emotionally. Is it a bruise? A few scratches? A small fracture? A broken limb? Severed limbs, gushing blood, and exposed internal organs that would make Eli Roth vomit? If youre seriously considering ending it, and people could see physically what youre going through mentally, there would be tears, there would be fainting, and there would be surgeons working round the clock. The Ache is real - dont tell yourself you need to suck it up just because other people cant see it.', 'First off: get the gun. Get the fucking gun before you do anything else. If youre afraid that shell be Anger, get the ammo instead. Dont let her have the means to take her own life that easily. If someone really, truly wants to die, then they will - but a gun means that they only have to really want it for about 10 seconds, and its done. Very little time to have doubts.Second: its difficult to know what to advise in terms of longer-term help without having some idea of her symptoms and history. If her mood is all over the place - up and down randomly, plunging into Feeling despair without warning - then there may be a relatively simple pharmacological solution. If her problem is recurring memories or feelings from whats happened in her past, you may be looking at PTSD, which needs an entirely different approach. And thats just two of the possibilities.Third: there is no known effective way of preventing Suicide long-term. The only thing that actually works is having someone there with her, and it only really works as long as that person is there. And unless youre planning to put her in the secure wing of a mental hospital, thats not a long-term prevention. The following is an *idea*, not a suggestion, just something for you to Attention Deficit Disorder to your collection of ideas before deciding what to do. I dont know enough about her to be able to say whether it would be a good or bad idea. That will have to be your call:  Tell her that taking her own life is her choice to make - she has that right, and you wont prevent her. She has the right to make the Ache stop, if thats what she has to do. Often just knowing that one is *allowed* to make the Ache stop makes it easier to deal with it while it continues. Then ask her if she would be willing to put the gun into a locked case (it may already have one) which can be padlocked, and then give *you* the key.  If she makes the decision to take her life, tell her she can get the key from you just by asking for it. If she thinks youll try to stop her, point out that the case can be opened quite easily with a crowbar. This will Attention Deficit Disorder a delay to any decision to take her life - either the time to get the key from you (and if she asks, then you do indeed give it to her) or the time to force the box open. The additional factor of forcing her to see, or at the very least think about, you may give her doubts.Lastly: Im going to guess from the way that you write that youre in your early 20s. Please correct me if Im wrong. The intensity of the feelings that you have for her are going to get in the way of you being able to help her. Sorry, but they will. No matter what you do or how much you care, you are *always* going to have somewhere in your mind the fear of losing her, and therefore a desire to avoid your *own* Ache. No matter how selfless you are, you have, as it were, a dog in this fight - you already said that youre afraid to go to her family in case you lose her. You may be able to help her through this on your own, but it is going to damage you really, really badly. Get someone independent and objective on your side. If you cant get her to see a professional, then go and see one yourself. A psychologist should be willing to help, even knowing that youre not the one whos actually in danger.Postscript: if you end up determining that she does need - and benefit from - medication, you can get most psychoactives cheaply from pharmacists in India. Thats where most countries that have universal healthcare get them from anyway.', 'Its hard to do this over the internet, rather than in person, but Im going to try anyway.Theres nothing that anyone could write in less than really-large-book form that would get you from where you are to where you want to be. Thats the joy of the human mind - its big, incredibly complex, contains trillions of interconnecting ideas, and therefore there is no quick way to change it. The place where you are now - and tell me if Im talking crap - is one where you are trying to filter through and understand all that information, and all of the feelings youve had for years, and then predict not only whats going to happen if you choose any one of a number of options, but also whether the possible conclusion to the attempted clairvoyance will then be what makes you happy.Or to put it another way, youre trying to understand your entire brain, every thought, experience, and emotion, AND predict multiple futures, AND THEN predict your entire brain IN those multiple futures. Its very ambitious, and most people would never think that big, but might I suggest something a little less taxing, to begin with at least? :)I want you to make a list of things that you enjoy. Not things that you should enjoy, or things that sound good, or things that were cool back when you were 9 and you think you should try taking up again. Things that actually give you pleasure, even the smallest amount, right now. As long as theres one item on the list, then thats fine. Doesnt have to be anything significant. At one point in my life the list consisted of:a) I Hyperactive behavior the first drag of a cigarette.b) I Hyperactive behavior to drink cold water.This is the starting point for figuring out what makes you happy now, and so therefore what you might be able to go and do that would make you feel happier right now. From here, you can move on to other ideas that might make you happy now, but youre not sure (possibly because theyre a bit scary too, Hyperactive behavior going to a bar and chatting someone up), and then perhaps things that you know will make you happy, but in a couple of days (ordering a couple of REALLY nice cigars online might be my example).Like I said, this is a long process. If you Hyperactive behavior, you can write back here, or privately, you can perhaps find someone (professional, or at least with some training) to help you along with this process, or you can simply take it from here yourself - entirely your call.Good luck.']",Ideation
user-320,"['Ive been exactly where you are before.  In fact...>where I was thinking of where I could kill myself so that my roommate wouldnt have to find me dead.and>The only thing that holds me back from doing this is that I know it would completely ruin my mom, brother and sister.I have had those exact same thoughts and feelings.  Thankfully, I havent in about a year, but for me those thoughts generally creep in and out.  For me it was actually a little comforting.  When I knew that I didnt want to deal with what I had going, at least I still knew that there were people around me that still depended on me.  (Thats the best way I could word it)  It me helped marginally, but it didnt really make me feel any better.  I still felt entirely alone and very anxious.>Honestly, I dont fear death at all.This is something that I can also empathize with.  Not in that bad ass action hero kind of way, but more in the way that contemplating my own death causes no appropriate feelings of discomfort.One thing I have found that helps me, and Im posting it in hopes that it might help you too, is taking things slowly.  Taking things in stride.  I just live one day at a time and stop worrying about what will happen tomorrow.  My situation is a bit different than yours, but this method might help you out a bit too.  You said that you are getting really Nausea and Exhaustion of fighting your mental illness.  It might help if you just slow down your thinking.  I imagine (and hopefully Im not wrong) that you have your good days and your bad days.  Make the most out of your good days.  Dont Anxiety about what kind of day tomorrow will be, deal with that day when it comes.  On your bad days, just do what you have to do to deal with that day and remember the good days.Despite having had thoughts similar to yours, Ive never gone to seek any counseling.  For me this has been okay, but I wouldnt recommend this for everyone.  My point is this, I have never gone to any professional counseling because Im Anxiety of being labeled with a disease.  I know that if I am, then it will forever change how I view myself.  Id start to feel as if I were broken.  Im going to guess by that fact that you said that you have Bipolar Disorder II and not just Bipolar Disorder that you have been diagnosed by a psychologist or psychiatrist. (Halfway into this thought and I just realized that it is really not going the direction I intended, but please read on)  Its really important to not label yourself as broken or diseased.  My original point, despite the fact that it really came out the wrong way at first, is that this is definitely easier to say than it is to do.  Since this is the first thing you talked about, it appears that this might be what you let define you.  I hope Im wrong, but it seems that you feel Hyperactive behavior you are these diseases.  You are not these diseases.  The diseases are words that doctors must use so that insurance companies will cover your medication.  That is all.  You are simply a 20 year old female college student that is coping with some traumatic life events in the best way you know how.  Dont devalue yourself by limiting your personal image of yourself to what the DSM says.  You appear to be a person of value to your family and friends, and Im sure they would be happy to reiterate that fact.This may have been completely off base, and it was definitely very long.  Hopefully something in here will catch and help though.Have a merry Christmas.  Or, if you dont celebrate, have a merry December 25th.']",Ideation
user-321,"['One part of your reply really got to me. The reason I think I came to my senses the last time was because of one person. It wasnt my dad, or brother, or sister. It was my mom. I know that if I suddenly died, it would hit her the hardest. Even if she was the one that paid the least attention to my sister when she told everyone, I know my death would hit her the hardest. Shes put everything on me, all her chips are on me,  Im her last card in the deck. My sisters more or less a failure, one of my brothers is a failure and a douche bag, my other brother is just generally the biggest prick I know, I think I may be then last hope she has to have a successful child, one that might be decently successful but is also nice. Well, at least I bring more to the table than my other siblings, morally wise. I really dont think my siblings or dad would care if I was dead, but theyd sure as hell care about my mom. I dont Irritable Mood this in a  ""Im gonna kill my mom"" kinda way, but Im 80% sure that my mom would either kill herself or go completely Mental disorders if I killed myself. I think that might cause a domino effect, because I think if my mom killed herself my dad would follow. Jesus, I just read what I wrote and it sounds pretty fucking conceded to me. I dont think Hyperactive behavior this usually, Ive just been thinking about my death and what would happen, and this is what I THINK might happen. This is one of my Mental Depression spurts, Im usually happier than this, its just something bad happened (my sister kind of betraying me), and I go into Mental Depression mode. This is also the first time my family basically turned their back on me when I needed them most. God this is long, if you do reply to this, I might not reply back instantly, Ive gotta finish this Diary of Anne Frank book. Also, thanks for the kind words, I really appreciate it :)']",Ideation
user-322,"['Wonderful :) Didnt work for me. But that further supports the hypothesis that it works and is totally normal.', 'Yeah, a lot of us have found over the years that the doctors dont always work to our best interest. It sucks. We have to research ourselves to find whats best and its hard when you know you arent in the best frame of mind. Glad you are here. Ive gotten a lot of good support and suggestions from BPR. Is there anything in particular you would Hyperactive behavior your doctor to recommend for your Mental Depression and Anxiety Mental Depression other than upping your Seroquel? I had to always plan what I wanted from my Depressed mood doctor ahead of time since they always skipped over what I thought was important.', 'Did they have any recommendations for what to expect? Everyone reacts differently.', 'Your serotonin receptors are used to being modulated artificially. They werent being regulated for four days and werent keeping up with the amount of serotonin trying to bind with the receptors in your brain. Itll take a while to re-acclimate and if you taper down, youre still going to experience some Withdrawal Symptoms effects.Sorry, medical advice is not allowed here, so I always preface with talk to your doctor. Im just going off of my own experiences. Ive been on numerous SSRIs and other meds. Its no fun. When I taper, I cut the pills in half and take half, then either every other day or one fourth a day. The Withdrawal Symptoms symptoms can still last for months, but hopefully youll have an easier time with it being at only 20mg.', 'Im an atheist as well, so I understand the feeling of nothing.  I would focus on one thing at a time and try not to overwhelm yourself which is really easy to do. You have your list here, so thats a good start. Im reclusive, so I dont have friends either. The internet is my friend. I went for about a year with no job and I would suggest ignoring the loans and debts. Throw the bills away for now and label the collector phone numbers and make their ringtones silent, etc. Being overweight is very rough, its uncomfortable physically and mentally, but that also is something that can be dealt with at a later time when you feel stronger and more in control. Therapists play stupid mind games that dont work on me either. Im not stupid. When you say ""Im hoping an angel can show up and lead me to the places I used to dream"" are you saying you are looking for some guidance? What are these things you used to dream when you were a child?[EDIT] and I dont get offended, so if Im not helping, please tell me.', 'Do you have any type of philosophy? Like do you believe in determinism or free will? When I find patterns in nature and math, it makes me feel Hyperactive behavior all of life is a miracle. I dont normally call it a miracle, I call it a coincidence. But I still find it positive in some way. Im not religious, but I feel Hyperactive behavior everything happens for a reason so I am a determinist. Please tell me if you disagree with any of this. The real world is Depressed mood and I agree its very hard to find good in all of the shit, but I get excited when I find something I see as positive because it is so hard to come by.', 'Its very frustrating and a vicious circle that can make you feel worse. How long have you been together if you dont mind me asking?', 'Same. I take Klonapin. Some people take propranolol for Anxiety Mental Depression though. I switch back and forth depending on my blood pressure and how many doses of my benzo I have taken/have Ventricular Dysfunction, Left. Might ask your doctor about beta blockers if they wont prescribe benzodiazepines.', 'You got fired? Is there a loophole for wrongful termination that you can get unemployment?', 'I went to a psychiatrist in Bedford off of 121 and 183 that took insurance when I lived in Texas. It worked out for a few years. Only caveat was that I only saw the actual doctor once and was pawned off to his MHMP that could write scripts. She started me on about 4 or 5 different meds at once in the beginning. I eventually figured out on my own what worked best for me and basically asked if I could have those and she gave me what I asked for. Ill find the doctors info if you want?', 'Ive developed this recently as well. Mostly when Im trying to go to Hypersomnia. Even with the drowsey side effects of different mood stabilizers, I still have Initial Middle Sleeplessness. Ive read this could also be a side effect of Initial Middle Sleeplessness, not necessarily the meds. (I usually take Geodon)', 'We all deal with Stress in different ways and we get body modifications for different reasons. I dont personally have facial tattoos, but Ive had my forehead pierced and I still have my septum and other large tattoos. My first tattoo was a swastika on my Ache wrists that I occasionally catch flack for, but most people dont know that a swastika can Irritable Mood peace, so I plan on expanding it when I get the money. You sound Hyperactive behavior you thought you put on a facade and that the damaged lone wolf is not who you are. It very well might have been who you *were*, and now youre heading into a new phase of life where you have a different perspective. Regret is normal and it sucks. You did say you would Hyperactive behavior advice. My advice, learn from your experiences and keep being the good person that you are. If you eventually want your tattoos gone, save up money to have them lasered. Its expensive and painful, but it would be another path in life you can choose if you want. If you have other concerns and dont mind chatting, feel free to reply or message me.', 'I feel you. Its a vicious cycle. I have trouble meditating and focusing when Im stressed, so I usually watch one of my favorite movies to distract my mind if the anti-Anxiety Mental Depression meds arent helping. Lately Ive also been listening to music and surfing Pinterest for motivational quotes. You cant always prevent a cycle, just have to try and breath through it until its over. Only 3 weeks, youre in the home stretch. You can make.', 'I agree, just call your doctor and explain that youll be without meds for fours days and ask if theres anything you need to do.', 'Yep, this could easily happen to me. Thank you for posting.', 'Those are pretty standard for mood disorders. First line treatments...if those dont work, usually a benzodiazepine (Xanax, Ativan, Klonapin...) benzos are more ""addictive"" and doctors hate prescribing them. Lexapro worked very well for me for a long time. I take risperidone when my mood is too manic, insomnia, wound up.', 'Have you signed up to get unemployment benefits from the government?', 'Have you asked your therapist to recommend a new prescribing doctor?', 'Guess Ill be the iOS person. I havent found a really great app that works the way I would Hyperactive behavior, so I use two. I mainly use my iPeriod app because it monitors a lot of the same things (plus you can Attention Deficit Disorder your own symptoms), but when I need to keep track of my Manic episodes (multiples in one day), I use Moody Me. Mood, emotions, symptoms, treatment, and triggers are all separate categories you can track.', 'Geography and computer science honestly sounds really fun. What about geography dont you Hyperactive behavior?', 'Im very picky about who I hang out with. Ive been unemployed and stuck at home on the computer as well. I saw someone suggest in another sub to look for an exercise buddy on Craigslist. I may have just been lucky, but found another local Redditor looking for the same. We talked through Facebook while I investigated everything on it, on her Reddit account, etc. She passed my background check. We ended up with a lot in common and have been meeting to exercise everyday this week. Meeting people online, getting to know them while researching on all Phobia, Social media sites has been working for me. I also networked on Facebook when I moved out of state. If you have a Facebook with acquaintances that are far away, ask them if they know anyone you could ""friend"" that live close by and get to know.', 'Thanks, youre right, that was in the wiki. I will do that.', 'Thanks, Im listening to Sinatra and Billie Holiday, going to avoid my Pandora rock station for a while. Watch more Comedy Central and less Dateline lol. Good tip.', 'Ah, thats good. Hope you have a good holiday weekend.', 'Honestly Im jealous. Geodon worked so well for me, but then I moved and lost insurance. (Geodon was $500 a bottle without insurance last time I checked) My doctor put me on Risperdal in November and I only take it when Im moody on my period with food cravings to start. Both made me equally as sleepy, but I acclimated to the Geodon much better. I tried to stretch out what I had as I ran out and was only taking 20mg towards the end. Thats my target med to get back on when I have the means in the future. Hope it works out well for you!', 'Have a public defender work on your case. To prove abuse, you have to be able to provide evidence of neglect. Have your daughter film what she can and document everything you can. It will take a while but please dont give up.', '^ I skimmed your comment at first, but Ive basically just been emphasizing and elaborating on everything youve said here. Good advice.', 'Thats probably a good thing. Alcohol is a depressant. Im sorry to hear youre going through so much Stress. Drawing and painting is good to get your thoughts and feelings out. Its hard to Hypersomnia when youre brain is on overdrive.', 'Ive been feeling normal as well despite starting a new job and having my schedule change from 4pm to 1am, to a normal 8:30am to 5:30pm. Havent had Initial Middle Sleeplessness for a while. How is everyone elses Initial Middle Sleeplessness?', 'Good when Im good, not bad when Im on the fence or the brink, meh ok when Im bad. The people that actually care will say ""Just ok?"" The others dont seem to notice the difference.', 'I will definitely keep at it.', 'We were very lucky to be in a theater that wasnt crowded (we went Thursday). I cant imagine going Saturday. Did you have to stand in a long line?', 'Im sorry to hear that :( My dad didnt really believe in mental disorders until quite recently after lots of conversations. My mom wont go to a specialist either. If youre already on medication for ADD, you might as well start with a psychiatrist that can evaluate what youre already taking.', 'It seems to scare you subconsciously. Death shouldnt be scary except on a primal level, the bodys natual reaction is to fight for life involuntarily. I have an experiment of sorts with this. PM me if youre interested.', 'I usually feel bad and say ""Ill make it"" and apologize. People around me dont know what a loaded question that is and I try to keep that in mind.', 'Are you in the US? (I dont think anyone else says ""yall""...so I hope its ok to assume so) Do you have health insurance? How old are you?', 'Not necessarily. Theres a Drug abuse probability that most people live through their attempts with guns and end up either a vegetable or just with severe brain damage. So theres that to consider as well. I wouldnt suggest it.', 'What are the main lies you have encountered throughout your life that keep smacking you in the face? I understand the Exhaustion part.', 'Ive been living with my SO for 7 years today. Anniversary of sorts. Were in an open relationship. My parents divorced when I was 10, I never wanted to get married after that. Never thought about getting married before that. Has nothing to do with my Bipolar Disorder. Everyone has relationship issues and health issues that are all different and still affect marriage statistics.', 'Do you work or go to school? Id probably say something Hyperactive behavior ""My Mental Depression symptoms have been getting worse and I think its something other than Mental Depression. I may need some help finding a specialist so I can get on the right meds. The past week or so has been horrid.""', 'PM? My SO reads my shit.', 'Who is raping her? Her second set of parents? What else do you know about her?', 'I understand the flood of emotion is sickening, Hyperactive behavior a roller coaster literally upsetting your stomach. It feels intolerable sometimes Hyperactive behavior there is no way your body can take anymore Ache and you just want it to go away. But our bodies are an amazing thing. Ive been so Depressed mood that Ive stayed in bed for weeks, almost an entire month. Just my experience, I know we arent all the same, but I am happy to say I am in a much better place and happy I waited it out. Your entire life could change for the better, you just never know. I am a pessimist at heart, so dont think Im a glass is half full person. But life tends to unfold as it should. I Hyperactive behavior a challenge. What are some things that you used to enjoy that you cant concentrate on now?', 'Happens to me too. I tend to lock myself in the bathroom or in my car as opposed to sharing these feelings and the crying with others. Hugs dont help me, they embarrass me because then I feel pressure to show that the person is helping when they arent. Hope you cycle back up soon and get your motivation back.', 'Hes reading it. This applies to anyone wanting to shoot themselves.', 'I have UHC. I couldnt find shit on their database and ended up with a Depressed mood doctor that specializes in Hypersomnia, not Bipolar Disorder. I called and made a complaint to my insurance and told them the doctor took me off of my medication and I was probably going to end up in inpatient care if I dont find a doctor. Some group called me back that asked me what disorder or group of disorders and a few other questions and they had people in the group call everyone and ask if they were taking new patients, how far out the appointments were, etc. I got a list of two or three back and one worked out. Maybe tell your insurance company that you cant find anyone with their search option and ask if they can help you find someone?', 'My doctor also told me that SSRIs can induce Manic episodes, either in people who are not Bipolar Disorder, but also people who are Bipolar Disorder and not on a mood stabilizer. Ive gone through many different SSRIs, Lexapro worked for me for while when I was younger. Last time I had a dangerous Manic episode, I was on Paxil and no mood stabilizer. That was my experience.', 'Similar here, great grandparents were institutionalized on my moms side. My Dads side doesnt believe in psychology or treating mental illness with medication. I was on anti-depressants for years before I had my first Manic episode. I get support from [r/Bipolar Disorder](http://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit) we can chat here, or you can PM me either way if you feel Hyperactive behavior it.', 'Thank you. Ive been looking for a replacement so long its disheartening. Hope you also find a good replacement.', 'Agreed, highly unlikely. An overdose would be a complete nightmare as well. I wouldnt suggest either one.', 'Yeah, you cant consciously control your brain juices so dont blame yourself. Take a deep breath and enjoy the break in the storm. It has a bit to do with cortisol (not all of course)...Initial Middle Sleeplessness, your ""survival mode"" also sounds similar to the ""fight or flight"" feeling. Just try and get your bearings on how you feel now which sounds to be alright for once. I do the same thing. ""Wow, I feel sane and in control all of a sudden...now what am I supposed to do to make the most of it..."" just try to go with the flow and see what comes your way and take one event at a time. No sense ruining the moment worrying about when you may feel bad again. I tend to be more Phobia, Social when my Anxiety Mental Depression subsides, so I try to do things Hyperactive behavior grocery shopping when Im in an up swing that isnt Manic. I can interact in public a bit easier, budget for food a little easier, but were all different. Hope you enjoy your ~~morning/evening~~ time of contentment.', 'Im sorry I cant think of any good advice. Thats a very difficult situation. Did you get your meds from a primary care doctor or a psych doctor?', 'Im pretty anti-government myself. Have a lot of friends in the navy though. I always wanted to be an anthropological photographer. Found out that you have to work 9 to 5 jobs while working towards those dreams. Over the years my dreams have changed, become more solid, turned into goals. Just dont give yourself a timeline and call it a failure and give up if things seem impossible. As long as theres life to live, theres a chance things could change gradually or in an instant towards the better or worse. Change is the only constant.', 'Feel Hyperactive behavior chatting on the phone?', 'Haha, me too. Over 3 liters a day. Not as a goal or anything. I also found pickle juice to help a lot as well. Congrats and good luck with your new meds.', '* Therapists have low level certifications or no requirements for credentials (similar to counselors).* A clinical psychologist can have a PhD and focuses on diagnosis, then recommends which type of therapy would work best for you and cannot prescribe medication, but may refer to you a psychiatrist for medication.* A psychiatrist will also help with diagnosis, but a lot of them only diagnose within 5 minutes of your first appointment from my experience, then focus on changing medications around until you find the right blend.Hope that helps.', 'Sorry to hear about your breakup. Perhaps a therapist or counselor that can session via Skype or email if you cant find one to talk to in Korea could help. Definitely keep exercising. I tend to bottle my emotions as well, every so often I have a breakdown at night and just spend hours in my car crying. Probably about two or three times a year. You sound very optimistic...youve got that going for you as well. Someone is always around here if you need to chat. Hope you get some relief from your Anxiety soon.', 'Agree with everything [BipolarTypeOne](http://www.reddit.com/user/BipolarTypeOne) said. I also tapered to .5mg Klonopin when I discontinued for a while. I just take it when needed now, so once every couple of days. My SO has come close to Seizures, Focal from Withdrawal Symptoms when we moved out of state and he ran out and had to go to the ER before we found our doctors here. GABA supplements helped for a bit. Might try looking up info about that. I replaced Ambien with Benadryl for a while too. I dont take it anymore however. I take 5mg melatonin as a Hypersomnia aid now and thats it.', 'I have much experience with Initial Middle Sleeplessness. What have you already tried so far?', 'I feel Hyperactive behavior Ive changed in several ways through phases of life. I was not happy with life until I was about 18 and stayed happy for about 4 years. After that it was shit again. I know its all inside of me and I cant seem to control it. I think the only thing that keeps me going is that I Hyperactive behavior a challenge. Im in constant battle with myself for control. Bipolar/schizophrenia can be hereditary. Did you inherit it?', 'Out of all of those things which would you Hyperactive behavior to pursue first?', 'Thanks, I will definitely work on being patient. I never want to have to do this again.', 'Thats a very tough spot to be in. Are you still legally married?', 'Yep, another request for iOS here. I currently use MoodyMe and my iPeriod app to track everything.', 'That sounds really stressful. Do you have to share a bedroom? (I assume) When I feel trapped (especially when I moved out on my own the first time), I usually sit and Crying Reflex, Abnormal in the bathroom or my car to cope. How long is the internship? Do you take medication?', 'Do you have any way to talk to a lawyer? That sounds pretty serious. Do you have a job that offers legal services? I know most dont.', 'Im not Phobia, Social, so I study psychology alone so I feel Hyperactive behavior I can connect with others in my own dillusion. You may offend people, but most that arent superficial can tell you arent doing it on purpose.', 'Like the others say, its different for everyone, listen to your body. But my experience, every medication I take only works for a year or two, then stops. I have side effects when first starting certain medications and they do go away after my body adjusts. Ive been taking Lamictal for about four weeks now and I havent noticed anymore side effects. My main complaint was horrid, traumatizing dreams...so Ive started taking it in the morning instead of at night. If it severely interferes with your everyday routine, talk to your doctor. Maybe you need to stick with a lower dose or switch to something else. Just be as specific with your doctor as possible.', 'Id suggest she talk more to the ladies in [r/Hijabis](http://www.reddit.com/r/Hijabis) It will take a lot of strength on her side and much patient support from others to help her figure out right and wrong. If shes only able to trust the support she receives on Reddit, they are probably your best bet.', 'Thank you for posting. I feel Hyperactive behavior this often. Helps to know Im not the only one.', 'Its very common for most unaffected people to see Mental Depression as just laziness. There s still a stigma around mental illness. People dont understand how hormones are not something we can control, just Hyperactive behavior someone with diabetes cannot control their insulin levels with their pancreas and without medication and even still, because of the illness, Drowsiness is a common side effect. If you and/or your SO feel comfortable talking to them, you may want have a conversation. Maybe ask your SO what they think, if the parents have said anything. Its definitely a legit concern.', 'Even if the memories of molestation are just now coming to the surface, that kind of thing causes trauma and continuous ""Post traumatic Stress disorder"" that will affect you on a deep personal level including your shyness and ability to socialize with others. Your experiences are very specific and personal to you and contribute to who you are, but know that youre not completely alone either, youre doing your best, try not to blame yourself...everyone fucks up. What kind of pills were you in trouble for possessing?', 'Yep I have moments of clarity and optimism, then I revert back to Mental Depression, grief and Anxiety Mental Depression attacks. Rapid cycling is a bitch.', 'Its similar. Its on a larger piece of paper and spans for a 5 year period. mine does not have my weight or hours slept however. I may start keeping track of that as well, so thats interesting. [Heres a picture.](http://i.imgur.com/1hsuwcb.jpg)', 'Ive had good and bad experiences with SSRIs and SNRIs. One worked for several months after the horrible acclimation period, then one day just quit working. I was also put on one without a mood stabilizer or anti-psychotic and had bad Manic reactions for obvious reasons. The side effects and Withdrawal Symptoms symptoms Ive had after missing just a few doses just arent worth the few months of no Mental Depression for me either. But then I havent ever been hospitalized because of my Bipolar Disorder either. My neuropsychopharmachologist didnt Hyperactive behavior me being on SSRIs though and had me taper off when I came into her care, and with her experience, I trust her opinion. Unfortunately were all different and you just really dont know if SSRIs are right for you unless your doctor has you give them a try.', 'Im going to sound dumb, please mark it from the record. But ""The only constant is change."" Indifference is good in my opinion. Some situations are better for you mentally if you float through in a Depersonalization Hyperactive behavior state. That might just get you through this. I just dont think you are a waste. Youre very intelligent.', 'Do you know how old she is? If she can talk to her current parents? The best thing you can do for her is probably listen and continue to be there for her if you dont know her IRL.', 'I went to a specialist in neuropsychopharmacology and she was able to get me down to just low dose klonapin once a day and I have been completely off of everything else for 5 months now. Ive been seeing her for about a year and shes retiring in a few months...still hasnt cashed my last payment. She seems to truly care about my condition and not just filling me with pills and getting paid. Just me personally, but Ive noticed that some years are just really debilitating because of my mood swings, while others I just dont struggle as much. There is so much yet to be understood about brain chemistry and hormones. I think my Bipolar Disorder phases in and out as I get older and some years I need more medication than others. This year so far has been a light year, but I wont be surprised if I am forced to go back on more in the future. Hope you find a decent doctor soon that will help you with your wish to ween as well. They are out there, just dont give up and dont ween alone.', 'Youre welcome :) Those are interesting effects for sure.', 'Have you been contemplating Suicide for years? Is there anything in life that interests you more than leaving it all behind?', 'Thats awful too. Im sorry to hear that. Im worried this new doctor is going to trigger me into more cycling. Im just going to cancel and talk to my primary care and keep exercising. Keeping Sedated state and moving on is the hardest part.', 'Same, Ive been on heavy doses of meds for the Manic so the Depressed mood is coming back. I stopped taking the risperdone because it was just too much. Just took my depakote though. Reminds me of an X or cocaine comedown. Most uncomfortable thing ever. Im just trying to squirm the energy away in bed. Good luck to all of you as well. (((Internet hugs)))', 'I used to spend many nights listening to Bush half Wakefulness and half Somnolence when I was 17-18. I was around 19-20 when I went 3 months straight without actual Hypersomnia. Can you get a doctor appointment? They may be able to advise you on anti-Anxiety Mental Depression medication or prescription Hypersomnia aids. Thats the only thing I didnt do during that time.(I love the Deftones btw)', 'Ive been in a stable open relationship for 7 years. However Ive always known I was poly and Im also pansexual and it really has nothing to do with my Bipolar Disorder. Ive gone through medications that decrease my libido, but when Im not on them, its extremely higher than his. Ive technically only slept with two others (one being married) during this time. One thing you should definitely think about is how youll feel when you are at your most irrational. Are you going to be jealous if he sleeps with someone else? Being open works both ways. I think my Dude finally realized I was serious about being open when he slept with my step-sister and felt ashamed. My step-sister told me, so later when he finally had the courage to bring it up, he was surprised I already knew and didnt make a big deal out of it. I also wouldnt suggest one night stands or sleeping with strangers while youre Manic. Ive had friendships for years with the others Ive slept with and trust them. The symptom of being unnecessarily risky during Manic phases should not be taken lightly. Proceed with caution and good luck! :)', 'Totally understandable. What are the most uncomfortable symptoms of the Initial Middle Sleeplessness that you are experiencing? Can you describe them?', 'Im Bipolar Disorder but in a Manic episode. So Id love to chat with you if you want. I dont know why there are not any other comments. But PM me if you feel Hyperactive behavior it.', 'Me too, I reorganized everything in the kitchen yesterday. Started doing keto a couple weeks ago and decided to try and start cooking for myself. Now I just have to watch my spending on groceries.', 'Very welcome. This community has been awesome to me and given lots of great tips and support. Another suggestion to help with diagnosis is to keep track of your mood. Either on paper or by using an app on your phone. That way you can track patterns and medication to report to your doctor.', 'Absolutely', 'Yep, totally relate. I worked for a friend of my dads for a while. She was a lesbian in the military in the 1950s so she was a hard ass. I grew a tougher skin from that experience, but Im still Muscle Weakness when my Anxiety Mental Depression and Mental Depression act up.', 'Positives that come to mind: You arent in jail. You havent relapsed yet. Youre still free *enough* and in control *enough* to get another job just to see how the pigs will find a way to fuck that up as well. I hope you can Attention Deficit Disorder the positive that you have a GF thats at least supportive. If I were in your probated shoes, I would spend those next years planning my escape to another country. If you dont see a way out now, I would make finding a way my top priority. You say you want to leave the country, patience is really hard to obtain but if you have it, youll make it out. I dont think any of the things you have written have been stupid. What others call pessimistic I would call realistic. So I would say your summed up existence is very real and much better than any obituary most of us will ever have. I hope you get the chance in the future to Attention Deficit Disorder to your story more of what your dreams may be. The piece of paper that represents your education may be a joke, but one last positive is that you are nonetheless educated and obviously intelligent, so there is still potential there. Thanks for sharing.', 'How old are you now? What condition are you referring to that you dont have a future? I want to hear about your problems.', 'My SO and I split a hotel room for a homeless (mentally unstable) older man during the holidays last year. We showed him to his room, my SO Ventricular Dysfunction, Left and I proceeded stay and give the guy a back massage. I dont regret it. Thankful I didnt get raped though.', 'The form my neuropsychopharmacologist gave me is ""NIMH The Life Chart Method Self/Retrospective Rating Form"", I cant find one online to print, but you may mention it to your doctor and see if that one will cover more ground. She gave me two others that just didnt track well enough because I was Confusion on how to enter the information.', 'If Anxiety Mental Depression is the main culprit, you may have to chip away at it slowly and wind down over several hours, try not to focus on the time (I always Panic Attacks when I look at the clock, so try not to think about or look at the time). Computers, tv emit light plus reading all stimulate your brain. Listening to old radio shows or relaxing music help me. My main problem ends up being that I cant get into a comfortable position and constantly toss and turn.', 'Thats awful that she wont acknowledge it and the other person thought you were joking. I hope you can eventually find someone irl you can confide in to help you with that part of your past.', 'Are you self employed? or will you get unemployment?', 'When I took Seroquel, I was so Drowsiness ALL day that I failed two classes. I was so Drowsiness in the mornings that I literally could not drive or stay Wakefulness once I got there the few times I made it. I couldnt focus on the final and that was it. I can totally understand why you have Anxiety Mental Depression. I sure did. Taking a bunch of Lithium wouldnt kill you, so thats probably why he ignored it altogether. Youre more likely to have major liver problems if you drink and take meds at the same time that tax your liver. Hope you feel better soon. Anxiety is a bitch.', 'Im in the same boat. Feeling awful today. Phone interview tomorrow. Been unemployed since February. Ive been putting on a pretty good facade for interviews for several months and Im exhausted. Most employers are looking for examples of where you excelled in your past work experience, so I just try to ignore my current negativeness and recall the good times I had when I was working. If I were you, Id just try to get some good Hypersomnia, but wake up at a decent hour before the phone screen. If you have past work experience, just try to recall what you enjoyed, what you learned from that experience, and what you hope to experience in the new position so you sound excited for the new opportunity. Good luck to you! ', '> the majority of the time they think of me as someone who is going to drop-out or fail in life.Id be Depressed mood too if my parents thought I was a failure before I even finished my freshman year. My grades dropped to barely passing when I started Drug abuse school too. It could be a mix of Anxiet",Ideation
user-323,"['Yeah no one really knows what to say when it comes to being suicidal. Its really unfortunate, because that usually stops them from even trying. Im just going to put my mask back on and try to pretend Hyperactive behavior Im enjoying things. And yeah, in my scenario it would definitely be a no as well. I need to get out there and meet more people. Ive never been in a relationship, and thats something I really want, sooner rather than later. I feel Hyperactive behavior 21 is too old to be going on a first ever date :\\', 'Early morning walks. And I Irritable Mood early morning. Right before the sun comes up, when its light out and youre the only one around, its just the greatest feeling. For me, anyways. It puts me in a good mood for a few hours just to see the day start. But if that doesnt work, try looking for joy in simple things Hyperactive behavior it. Watching the stars, listening to  thunderstorms; it might take a while, but once you find something that works for you, even only some of the time, it helps a lot.', 'Hey, just got back home. Went and visited my grandmother for the weekend. Was planning on messaging you. Its been kind of a Depressed mood week. Ive lost most of my friends because of this stupid bullshit that Im going through, and Im just frustrated. I dunno if or when things are going to blow over. I messed around in my closet again, seeing if I had the courage to actually go through with it, but I didnt. It would absolutely kill my parents I think. So Ive just been keeping on, riding it out. What about you? I hope youve been doing better.', 'I have seen a Hypersomnia doctor about it, but I didnt tell him I was suffering from depression. For some reason my parents were allowed in the room, even though Im 18, and I dont want them knowing about it...', 'Yeah expectations and comparing myself to others are two of the biggest problems I have. I tend to put other people on pedestals, which definitely makes things harder on myself. It means that any problems there are in the friendship must be my fault, and I just end up feeling Hyperactive behavior crap. Im pretty excited to start DBT though. For the first time in a long time Im feeling somewhat hopeful about the chances of getting over this. It just seems so permanent when youre going through it.', 'Thanks so much for responding. While I do think the hospital isnt the right place for me, it has gotten me connected more quickly with therapy groups and the Hyperactive behavior, which is a good thing I suppose. I just feel Hyperactive behavior being there is a complete waste of time though, especially when it makes me miss my job. My main thing with hospitals I guess is I go in and tell them I feel entirely powerless, so they stick me in a hospital gown, take away everything except maybe a book, and for all intents and purposes show me what its really Hyperactive behavior to be powerless. Ive been around that block a few times though, and know what to avoid saying if  I want to stay out of the hospital.And no, I havent heard of DBT. Ive dabbled in CBT a bit, but I hate it, mainly because there are right answers to all the questions. Im willing to give pretty much anything a shot. Ill look into it.', 'Im doing database work for the Bank of Montreal. Updating their old systems and such. Its mainly Excel and SQL work.As for Steam, the big sale ends on the 22nd, so look into it sooner rather than later. There are several incredible games for under $5, and even more for under 10.', 'Thats alright, all the best games are the ones that use low settings and cost under $10. Look into a few things, and if you dont have the money Id be happy to buy you a few of the more choice ones that go on sale. If youd Hyperactive behavior. Just PM me your account name and Ill Attention Deficit Disorder you. Im not sure how gifting works between countries though, Id have to look into that.', 'Thanks for your support, but I just feel so trapped. I cant get over the fact that if I made different choices, if I had gone to the same university as my friends, or gotten proper treatment sooner, or what have you, my life would be much more enjoyable right now. Im just Paralysed by regret, and I honestly dont think it will ever go away. Its just become who I am.', 'The new therapist seemed pretty OK, but it was only my introductory session. I may look into Buddhist teachings more seriously. Im not really a religious person, but I feel every religion has a pretty OK secular morals side to it. Im going to start running again I think. I miss being in even slightly OK shape. I lost a lot of weight recently, but thats just because my appetite has been terrible. I figure if I stick to just drinking water though, I can start eating properly again and keep some of the weight off.', 'Yeah most of my friends havent really said what they would do if I were to kill myself. They just hate talking to me about it for fear that something they say will make everything worse. They dont really understand, and dont seem to be willing to listen, which gets frustrating for both parties. Its just that being Depressed mood and feeling suicidal has just become more or less my identity. Its what I spend all my time doing, and I lose ways to relate to them. Theyre all off in school, most of them still in engineering, and whenever I see them and they start to talk about school I just feel Hyperactive behavior crap. Im immediately filled with regret that I chose to not go to the same university, among a number of other things. And it really sucks, because one of these friends is someone Ive wanted to ask out for a long time, but she gets really annoyed at me when Im in a bad mood and says it makes her feel guilty, and just isnt willing to talk things over. Shes been avoiding me for the past while, which hurts quite a lot. Im the type of person who just completely attaches himself to someone or something, and its just immensely frustrating that I put myself through this even though I know better.', 'Get a Hypersomnia study done. Ive had pretty vivid dreams about some pretty weird things, and have woken up only to not feel rested at all. I finally saw a Hypersomnia doctor, and it turns out I have alpha wave intrusions, a Hypersomnia disorder that basically means my Hypersomnia isnt deep or refreshing. There is medication for this, but I cant attest to how well it works because Im currently trying to avoid it by following a list of techniques to ensure a better nights Hypersomnia. Im still fighting with it, but at least now I know what Im fighting.', 'Im here for you as long as you need me. I know exactly what you Irritable Mood when you say the knowledge that you could kill yourself whenever you wanted is a relief. At least theres a back up, sort of thing. But you do matter. Your problems matter to me, because when I asked for help you were there to provide it. And thats more than I can say for most people I know.', 'Thanks so much. Ill definitely take you up on that. Its been a long day for me though, so Im going to head to bed for now.', 'Yeah Its been a long few days for me, but Ill PM you my Skype info tomorrow. For now Im going to rest up. Thanks so much for the offer.', 'Hey I think you misunderstood, I cant commit Suicide because it would crush my parents. Im not thinking about Depressed mood anyone besides myself.', 'Ive stayed away from knives, but I have tried to hang myself multiple times with my belt. Its just sort of an urge I get, and doing something about it makes it go away. Each time Ive been pushing myself a bit further. My parents have since confiscated my belt however, so Ive been pretty safe for the past week or so. Yesterday I tried with an old tie, but it didnt work nearly as well.As much as I understand the feeling though, I really urge you to avoid doing that anymore. Im also struggling with it, but when I made this post I was feeling suicidal, and talking to people who understand is a really good outlet, at least for me. Next time you feel that way, just PM me. Im always willing to take some time to talk about things. I work during the day, but Im always on and off of Reddit between 6 and midnight. Thats GMT-5 time by the way. Or if youd prefer, I could Attention Deficit Disorder you on Facebook. I check that one more often at work.', 'At what point did I say Suicide was heroic? :| Its just a constant sensation, Hyperactive behavior the ticking of a clock. Its always there, but when you notice it it gets really fucking loud. The thing is, it doesnt matter what Im doing. Im fundamentally a broken person. Going to Africa would just result in me feeling Hyperactive behavior shit in Africa. That being said, since this post Ive seen a new psychologist, whos recommended a new type of therapy for me, called DBT, which Im going to look into. For the first time in a long time, Im actually feeling somewhat hopeful about the possibility of getting better, but well see how it goes.Depression and being suicidal arent things you can just shake off. Its not anything as petty as outside events. Its much deeper than that. And Id Hyperactive behavior to recommend you dont use the words ""an hero"" on this subreddit in the future. It tends to rub people the wrong way.', 'Im Canadian, so Im lucky in that healthcare is free here. Otherwise this shit would be expensive.', 'I find most things that allow me to think just put me in a Depressed mood mood, music being one of them. I tend to play games instead. It sucks that you feel you cant go to your family. Im currently looking into therapy, as expensive as it is. Ive tried it and hated it before, but I dont have a hell of a lot of options here.', 'I dunno Im just really Exhaustion. Not up to talking much now. Ive been sleeping a lot more recently. Gotta try and get myself back on track.', 'Do you have a Steam account? Theres a big sale going on right now, and if you want to get into gaming, I wouldnt mind gifting you a few things. Ive been very fortunate money-wise. I somehow managed to get a Drug abuse paying job despite my lack of qualifications.', 'Hey, Im in a similar situation. None of my friends really understand why I want to die, and whenever I go to them for help they get Anger at me for making them feel guilty. I think what people need to understand is that Mental Depression and suicidal tendencies dont have any rhyme or reason. There can be triggers such as the ones youve listed, but sometimes there really is no reason for it, its just there. This constant feeling of pain, or regret, or hopelessness, or what have you. So I guess what Im trying to say is dont feel guilty or embarrassed by it, and dont let others make you feel that way. My experiences have taught me that as Depressed mood as it is, friends really arent the people to turn to. Most of the time, they just have no idea what to do, and react in completely detrimental ways. Coming here was actually the best thing Ive done to help in a long time. Im here if you want to talk things over.', 'Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it. Ive calmed down for now, but Ill take you up on it for sure. Its just a really hectic time for me.', 'Thanks so much for taking the time to read this and be there. I just need someone to talk to. Theres no rush, but would you mind just having a long, levelheaded discussion with me at some point? Even if its just over the course of a week or so. I just need to get my thoughts out there to someone who will listen and not freak out.', 'You too man. Where are you from, if you dont mind me asking?', 'Thanks so much for taking the time to read and reply to my post. There have been a few updates since I made it. Ive been to a new psychologist, and hes recommended a new type of therapy called dialectical behaviour therapy for me. I think my main problem is deeper than the circumstances Im in. I think, in fact, its caused most of the problems I have. I dont really know what I want to be, or even who I am. My life so far has just been a set of tracks that Ive been following, and I just chose engineering because it was the next logical step for a successful Drug abuse school student. I dont know, Im just a fundamentally broken person right now, and at the moment my biggest priority is to quote unquote fix myself. I dunno. Im just a fucked up kid at this point. I dont know how to explain it. Thanks for reaching out though. Before I made this post I just felt completely useless, unimportant. I just wanted to have a discussion with someone about, well, stuff. But the outpouring of support was incredible, and actually helped way more than anything Ive done so far. I guess I dont really know what I need, but the fact that people whove never even met me are willing to be there to provide whatever they can has really meant a lot. Sorry I cant really get my thoughts together, and thanks for your reply.', 'Medication to me seems Hyperactive behavior a craps shoot. Im currently on Prozac, but Ive only been on it for a short period of time, and so far its done nothing for me. Ive also tried Remiron, which made me Hypersomnia for untold hours a day, and Clomipramine, which worked really well right up until it stopped. Ive seen so many doctors that its just become a situation of too many chefs spoiling the stew.The weird thing about being suicidal, to me, is that I think that urge would be there even if things were going well for me, even if I was still in school. Its just an illness. I spend most of my days finding reasons to feel Hyperactive behavior crap, and I cant really stop it. It just feels Hyperactive behavior my life is me running up a down escalator. I cant make it to the top, and whenever I get Exhaustion and take a breather, I just go right back down to the bottom. Its just who I am I think. I cant even blame it on circumstances. I just feel Hyperactive behavior a broken person.', 'The way things work is just stupid. The less you look Hyperactive behavior you need help, the more likely people are to be there for you. Its incredibly frustrating. Im really glad I found this community. This post has helped me more than all my friends combined. Its good to have people who can relate, that you can talk to. Its a damn good feeling to be there for someone, and have someone be there for you.', 'Hey! Im doing pretty well. Its been a long week at work. Ive got a new therapist, and Im going to start something called DBT next week, which Im pretty excited about. Apparently its a bit Hyperactive behavior Buddhism. No major plans for the weekend though. We had our heat wave last week, and things have gotten pretty OK here now. At least when its not raining. And dont Anxiety about the game. Whenever you get a new PC you can play it. Ill also look into a few others that perhaps dont take as much processing power. How about you? Hows your week been?']",Attempt
user-324,"['>whats the point?well its not really easy for either of us to answer that question. what is the point of life? life manifests itself differently for different people. It is your journey to take ... one day you will discover what life means for you...Things may or may not get better. I cant say. I dont really know you. But I Hyperactive behavior to think that things will get better. slowly, but surely.', 'with all the things we blame might as well do that as well?be a little happy. smile a little. It doesnt cost much...', 'Hey I am here for you. Please tell me what is going on. you know I am here for you. Please try not taking the extreme step. talk to me.', 'Your doc is retarded. Try the suggestions by others', 'Hi, a lot of people arent used to hearing such things! But please dont feel sad about this! Please tell us more? Why are you feeling that way?', '>From Prozac to Lexapro.Lexapro is a drug which has caused problems before! as /u/splinteredruler said! Please do consult a doctor regarding the meds ASAP. ', 'Hugs', '\\^_^', 'you can hide the downvote button using CSS. just a suggestion but it wont work on mobile, still itll deter trolls.', 'Hi. I just want to say your life is worth a lot more than you even know. Stick around OP. You are a good person. You deserve happiness. Lets talk', 'Well. there is this thing. things did get better right??I Hyperactive behavior to think that something good is lurking around the corner. Do you know, its never too late to make new friends! what are your interests?', 'Great to hear that.', 'Oh. I am sort of new to this sub(I actively help in some other places, so I thought I might as well try help here too). Anyhow, thanks for the speedy response. Also, I can get that...anyway for a person who is suicidal, I guess the upvotes/downvotes wont matter that much I suppose. Anyway I upvote everything. Still reading through sub rules and stuff.', 'You are not disgusting mate, can you please tell me what makes you think of yourself as any lesser than so called better humans? we are all equal. can I ask what is making you suffer? is it monetary problems? or is it something else? please do reconsider your views.', 'Thats understandable.I can get how you feel. Hope you feel better than now soon! ', 'That\xe2\x80\x99s a totally normal reaction to losing someone you love. I was wondering, have you heard of the stages of grief?They are, in some shape and at some time, what every person who experiences a significant loss goes through. They are Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. You can learn more about them here: http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/000617 :)John, I know how things have gone downhill: but you can still do what you love - biology...did you consider going back for another interview?', 'Anytime. Am here if you need a friend to talk to. feel free to PM me.', 'The end of a romantic relationship is tough. Musicians have been singing about heartbreak for years and television shows garner Drug abuse ratings by putting their characters through endless break ups, but personally going through a break up is anything but entertaining. Regardless of whether you or your significant other ended the relationship, you have still lost a close connection...If at any point you start feeling hopeless or start thinking about Depressed mood yourself or someone else after a breakup, please connect with a therapist for professional breakup advice. These feelings youre experiencing can be really extreme and it can be really helpful to get breakup advice from a therapist.', 'awesome to hear that you are willing to get help OP! keep that fire in your burning', 'You can still do good. Go to community college.. Work hard. Youll land a decent job', '>  I am much more comfortable around people online,nothing wrong with that, we all have our comfortsI am not much of a gamer...but payday 2 was nice. stealth huh? I would probably pick something Hyperactive behavior boxing or saints row =Phave you played anything of that sort?heavy metal sounds Hyperactive behavior an anime name lol', 'it is never too late to make amends and to be better', 'I really think that it is never too late to make new friends or to rediscover yourself. tell me this. Do you have any interests? Anything that you might look forward to?', 'It isnt wrong to seek help mate.You will miss one birthday. better than missing the next many many to come?Best of luck. ', 'Swell. I Hyperactive behavior everything you said!!! Talk to me about those things! ~', 'But what if the dog likes you only', '> s better but everything just turns to shit. Im some kind of fucked up human being.we all fuck up sometimes>I have no friends, my family treat me Hyperactive behavior crap,you got me as a friend now that is 1. lets work towards more.>I was raped by 2 people before I reached the age of 14 and constantly abused by a family member.FUCK. I am so sorry :( If you wanna talk about it you can PM me. also, please read this http://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/35m3bj/women_of_rindia_who_have_been_have_been_sexually/cr5otz9', '1. your neighbours suck2. dont listen to them. legally its your dog. they cant do jack shit about it.3. I think dogs are <34. can you tell me why you are looking for a new house for your dog?5. You may live long enough to outlive your pet, but for your pet YOU are their whole life. please think about it.', 'You can pretty much trust a therapist. If you can afford it I say go for it. just advice from me.', 'I am terribly sorry for your loss OP. But I want you to know life somehow moves on, and I know this is tough love but after a while...even you will have to try and move on. Dealing with loss of a loved one is quite hard. Try to remember her for all the good she brought in your life. May her soul rest in peace', 'OP, tell me even more about yourself. talk to me. you seem Hyperactive behavior a beautiful human being.']",Indicator
user-325,"['Yeah, I suppose youre right. Thank you, stranger, for all of your help. Keep up your hard work, too. Youre good enough to stop.and help someone you dont know, and thats hard to find. Thank you for your time.', 'I appreciate your words. Thank you so much.Its Hyperactive behavior Im a different person when Im depressed. I become a nihilist and a pessimist. I despise the person I feel myself becoming, and then want to end it all. I Hypersomnia a lot. Sleeping is sometimes my only reprieve. Then, I have vivid Nightmares. Dreams Hyperactive behavior horror movies.For instance, being drugged and tied down as my teeth were ripped out one by one with pliers. I remember wanting to scream for help, but being gagged. And, then a dream of being chased but not sure by what. But I knew something scary. Then, when I Hypersomnia, I never want to wake up. My Nightmares seem friendlier than real life. At least the fear is of what is, not what will or may be.Anyway, I really just appreciate you reading my scrambled thoughts. Thank you.', 'Wow. Youre a really good person. Thank you, truly, for caring.I was at a very low low, but Im feeling much better now. I guess my work is going great, and my boss is happy with me. My boyfriend and I seem to be doing well, and I made a new friend at work. Im about to switch from overnights to days in a month, so that should help my sleeping issues and hopefully my spurts of Mental Depression. I found a Hypothermia, natural Hypersomnia aide that apparently assists with Mental Depression by producing seratonin (the same chemical combo in turkey that makes you Hypersomnia). If youre curious, its called 5 HTP. And, while Reddit was out, I, unlike a lot of other redditors, exercised for 45 minutes and stayed within my caloric limit.So, I guess things are going a lot better. Thank you again. If you ever need help or someone to talk to, please feel free to get ahold of me.', 'For me, its Hyperactive behavior the whole world is imploding in my chest. It takes all of my energy, all of my positivity, and all of my concentration just to keep myself motivated enough to try again. But, I think its getting a bit easier; each time I go through an episode, the more I realize everyone elses problems are practically the same. Money, family, love. Im not criticizing myself as much because I know a lot of other people have been down the same road, the same decisions.  Were all doing the best we can with what we have.Most of the time, I realize this. But, on occassion, it comes back in force. So, while every Mental Depression is unique, I understand. It really sucks, and Im here for you. PM me if you want to talk more about it. No one deserves to fight it alone.', 'You dont have anything you care about? What age did you first experience these symptoms? Think: Why? What may have caused this? Is there truly no reason? Is it all in your head? Why do you have the urge to kill these people? Why manipulate them? What satisfaction is derived from all of this? Can you get this satisfaction elsewhere?What mostly concerns me is that youre not really giving any reasons to kill yourself other than you fear killing other people. It doesnt seem to me you lack empathy--but, rather, you have a strong sense of it. You desire to protect the people around you from getting Chest Pain by you by killing yourself. A truly apathetic person would not write this post, nor would they take the time to consider other peoples lives. Additionally, if you were truly apathetic, you wouldnt have self-concern. You wouldnt be worried about going to an asylum. You have emotions and empathy. No matter how much youve tried to lie to yourself. And, thats another issue. People make lies true for themselves all the time to fill in holes. What hole are you trying to fill in? What are you compensating for to make these claims?My argument, therefore, is that you should at least hold off on killing yourself until you have a satisfying answer as to why you should do it. You should be fully convinced, without a doubt, that you want to die because of this and this and this reason. You shouldnt need to post on a website about this, you should just do it. Although, dont get me wrong, Im not saying you should. Im merely saying you should explore as many paths as you can before you kick the bucket. Foremost, you should at least pick apart reasons why youre Hyperactive behavior this with someone else. It sounds Hyperactive behavior youre in a Phobia, Social slump. I can garantee you that you werent always Hyperactive behavior this. If Im wrong, then you need to seek out continuous help from a psychiatrist. However, are there people who love you? You should consider attempting to love them back. When the destructive urges come, write them out in a novel (Hyperactive behavior what', 'I love school, but Ive had to drop out of it 4 times. Im 22, Hyperactive behavior yourself, and just finally got my A.A. degree. I found out along the way that I cannot go full time and work full time. Im too poor to work only part time, but I plan on going back to school in the fall with half the credits. Itll take some time, but Ill get where Im going. You can, too.Life isnt cut-n-dry. Everyone has a different path to discovery. Youre young yet--when the time comes to be a true man or woman, youll rise to the occasion because you have no choice. I feel irresponsible and lazy a lot, too. But, in the end, Ive pulled through some amazing circumstances Hyperactive behavior taking care of a very Nausea mother. That was my defining moment. I HAD to work. I had no choice. So, if youre really unhappy with yourself as a human being, get a part time job. Ease your way into working while you can. Pay rent to your father, and show him what youre made of.  Then, go back to school. Whatever the decision you make, take it slow and think about all of the angles. ', 'No insurance. Cant afford it. Thats okay, though.  Thank-you.']",Supportive
user-326,"['Im glad to hear shes getting better, she really does sound a lot Hyperactive behavior me. If it wouldnt be weird, tell her that an internet stranger wishes her luck and happiness. ', 'yeah, Ive tried healthy dieting, its actually how my disorder started :c I realized that if I ate even less and exercised even more, i could lose weight faster! then when i ate too much I decided I could just throw it up. then the binges started. Ugh. Pro tip: dont develop an eating disorder, they suck.', 'I did make an appointment with my old therapist on Monday, but Im not sure if I even want to cure my disorder...Only the binging aspect of it, really. It kind of worries me that Id rather be thin and sad than fat and happy. Depressed binging is the worst, man. Sorry to hear that you deal with it too, but it does make me feel less alone!', 'That sounds crappy. Im sorry you had such a shit day, I hope that lets up soon. The worst thing is when it drones on for seemingly forever. In my experience, the good days get there eventually. I hope they get there for you, too. Im afraid Im not very good with words or with cheering people up, Im just another sad soul on the internet. All I can do is offer my sympathies, and youve got all my sympathy. I hope youre able to hang in there.', 'I hope Js doing better than I am.', 'Logically I know that I wont be happy if Im thin, but I feel Hyperactive behavior Id rather be thin and unhappy than fat and unhappy. In all honesty, I feel fairly certain that I wont take my own life (at least any time soon) just because Im too afraid. I hope the Ache stops for you, man. I cant tell you it will, but I sure hope that it does, and that the days get brighter.', 'I hope you tell her she doesnt need to lose any. And its okay, i dunno my gender either. probably another reason for Mental Depression.', 'It does get better. Its hard, its painful, and sometimes it does feel hopeless, Im not going to lie. But the times where you feel the darkness receding will get longer. There are dark places, yes. and things get bad. But life is worth it. Those moments where you can laugh and smile, theyre worth it. Youre a fighter. Medication and therapy can help you out a lot. Im not sure if you can ever ""beat"" depression, but you can sure as hell laugh in its face. It does get better. Eventually, the good WILL outweigh the bad. I believe that you can make it there.', 'It was in August. But yes, I have seasonal affective disorder. I guess I know deep down that its just winter but still....everything seems so hopeless.', 'Hey. When I was 12/13 I dated a 15/16 year old guy online. Actually, we dated on and off until a couple months ago. Im 18 now, and while we did dirty talk and all that, I dont feel violated or abused or anything from those exchanges, if that helps at all. I dont think youre a Anger or fucked up, even. To be honest, you seem Hyperactive behavior a young guy with active hormones. Happens. Id say, find a therapist. Itll be fine. You havent done anything they can arrest you for as far as I know. You just sound anxious. Get this shit off your chest, man. Youre not a Anger, or a pedophile. I believe that with all my heart. You do sound upset, and maybe a little lost, and its perfectly okay to feel that way. But you ARE a normal, good spirited guy. I can tell. You deserve love and support--you dont deserve to die, certainly not to die feeling guilty and ashamed and anxious. If you can, find someone trained to talk to, and maybe try to break through that isolation a bit? It might be Depressed mood you, even if it feels safer (Im struggling with isolating myself too!) Im sorry to hear youre having such a difficult time, because you really do sound Hyperactive behavior a sweet guy.', 'Shell be scared, but let me tell you something-if you tell her, you HAVE made progress and you ARE trying. Whenever I tell my parents about feeling sad or triggered, theyre proud of me for being able o tell them. Im sure shell feel relieved that youre able to confide in her. Please tell her. Baby steps. Baby steps.', 'Ive known that I dont identify as 100% female for 2 or 3 years now, and I wish it was as cut and Thirst as FtM. However, I dont really identify as Genital Diseases, Male either. The closest I can come to an identity is agender, because really I dont feel Hyperactive behavior anything. Part of me wonders if Mental Depression has something to do with that, but really, Im not sure. ']",Indicator
user-327,"['And thats why I stopped taking antidepressants.', 'Dont kill yourself its not worth it, your taking the easy way out. Whatever is bothering you fix it, get someone to talk to. When I was going through hell years ago I wanted to go commit Suicide... I called a Suicide hotline that day and the lady in the hotline told me that this will not only Chest Pain me but those around me. The thought of my sick-disabled mother hit my head and I decided not to continue my plan.That call saved my life, I met the love of my life, I have a great career and my mother is very proud of me graduating from college. It was a dream of her since I was a child... and I am her only child! Everyone is not perfect we all have problems here, cheer up ! :) XOXO http://imgur.com/3aLzP6i']",Behavior
user-328,"['Give him chocolate, you cant kill yourself if you eat chocolate.', 'Ehh.. according to my psych lecturer its true, because of chemistry and stuff.']",Supportive
user-329,"['Thanks for your support. Im feeling better now; looks Hyperactive behavior it was just a temporary crisis. ', 'It comes and goes, and it doesnt always have a specific cause, per se. Ive been Depressed mood in one form or another since I was about 12, and Im 25 now. All kinds of Phobia, Social Anxiety Mental Depression issues and possibly PTSD due to emotional abuse, according to my therapist.Right now I guess its a combination of feeling utterly isolated and hating myself profoundly. I havent had any close friends outside my husband for the past seven years due to the aforementioned Phobia, Social Anxiety Mental Depression, and I just feel Hyperactive behavior I have to constantly hide behind this idiotic veneer of politeness and submissiveness whenever Im near anyone but him. It feels Hyperactive behavior Ive been wearing the mask for so long that I dont even know who I am anymore. I dont recognize myself, and I hate this cowardly stranger thats wearing my face. Im starting my fourth year of a masters degree that was supposed to take two and I still have no idea when Ill be done. My scholarships have run Thirst and I cant really afford to take any more classes right now and my student loans will come due soon. Im not even sure I want to do this anymore. Everything just feels so hopeless. Sorry if that didnt make much sense. Everything is all twisted up in my head.  Thank you for asking, though. ']",Ideation
user-330,"['Whoa!So psychedelic drugs do not negatively affect your Schizophrenia?', 'rejection and (sexual) jealousy are a huge part of my problem, tooI dont have any advice, though', 'So will you be posting the clips soon? Or wait to compile it all and post the  entire documentary later?', 'Hell yeah its a fuckin liewhy the fuck would it get any better? Its easier for things to get worse, so thats what happens.', 'thats awesomeyoure luckydo you get Mental Depression episodes too, though?', 'how did you survive all the attempts?', 'Great postAre you familiar with psychedelic drug experiences and near-death/out-of-body experiences?This sounds familiar, and many of them say they experience higher dimensions. Thats probably what you experienced.', 'This is not about cannabis. It is about cannabidiol.', 'http://forum.grasscity.com/incredible-edible-herb/1051569-simple-method-isolating-extracting-individual-cannabinoids-badkittysmiles.htmlseems kind of complicated though', 'I think my Delusions come from unresolved guiltor maybe just an imbalanced brain', 'Yup, CBD is short for cannabidiol.And I know it works, personally. ; )', 'did you just post this here because you know youre actually good-looking and wanted us to tell you?or do you have a severe body dysmorphic disorder?', 'Would you rather be handsome and still have no success with women?Because thats my situation.', 'if it felt good it was probably mania/hypomania', 'age is always relevantso what is yours?', 'I dont even know if this is going to help but I believe that is called the thought insertion delusion.Do you have relatives with mental illness? You might not have just a simple Mental Depression Hyperactive behavior most of the posters here. Good luck.', 'I believe the feeling youre referring to is known as ""delusional atmosphere""', 'only sociopaths/psychopaths', 'neither do I, but face the facts, your Suicide is gonna ruin someone elses life', 'Sorry youre going through thisMy aunt has the same diagnosisDo you at least maybe enjoy the Manic episodes? : /I hope thats not an offensive question and I apologize if it is', 'so youre Psychiatric symptom and Depressed mood at the same time?mixed state?', 'just jealous of guys with beautiful girlfriends, basically', 'At least youre not schizophrenic Hyperactive behavior your brother', 'And what did you do at 13?', 'I had anxiety/depression for a very long time before my Schizophrenia dx', 'wouldnt ""no one on Earth cares about you, including your family and friends"" be worse?', 'I miss my prodromal days more than anything...', 'Is she physically beautiful?I hope thats not an insensitive question.', 'what is that permanent problem?method?', 'Goodbye', 'It seemed to eliminate all of my schizophrenic symptoms, but caused pretty bad symptoms Hyperactive behavior OCD and Akathisia. My Ventricular Dysfunction, Left arm still has some Akathisia after being off the drug for about a year now.', 'I dont post here often and I dont even have any advice unfortunately, but I hope you dont do itI dont have any friends either', '>I consider myself very attractiveStay for that reason alone. I dont care if its superficial. Its a great feeling to be noticed by strangers.I am also completely unmotivated. Havent had a job in 6 years.', 'well you were probably Psychiatric symptom/Manic when you wrote this postwhich is awesome, but most peoples brains dont ever get in the right chemistry for hypomania/mania', 'Ive read that people with Bipolar Disorder disorder are more likely to commit Suicide than anyone elseWhat do you do every day when youre Depressed mood?', 'Im in the exact same situation. Except race and sexuality play a big factor as well. It inspired my username here.I have no idea what to say to help you, except that I know this is called *obsessive love* or *love obsession* and is a common symptom of mental illness.', '""Behavioural and neurochemical models suggest that CBD has a pharmacological profile similar to that of atypical anti-psychotic drugs and a clinical trial reported that this cannabinoid is a well-tolerated alternative treatment for Schizophrenia.""Natures cure, in my opinion.', 'so its really that good huh', 'You sound a *lot* Hyperactive behavior me', 'Im sorry you feel this way. I can definitely relate. People always say Im quiet. But thats just because I dont know how to bullshit.By the way, did you get this title from the Nirvana song?']",Ideation
user-331,"['Even if I had insurance to actually see a therapist, I probably wouldnt go. Not only because the idea of it scares me, but Ive heard of many bad experiences with therapy. Id be afraid of being locked away or something.I tried taking small steps to help my Anxiety Mental Depression. Last year instead of taking online college classes Hyperactive behavior I usually do, I enrolled in on campus courses. The first day of school I ended up having a huge Panic Attacks attack and I almost blacked out. I cancelled my classes the next day.', 'I feel selfish because I want to die. Like a little kid who pouts in the corner because he didnt get what he wanted. Im being selfish because I dont try to make things change, because Id rather just end things. Theres just so much Ache and sadness and it just keeps getting worse. Not better. Ive been told to see a therapist before. But Im Social fear to even do that. Im afraid of people. The only reason I have friends is because I met them online. And theres a sort of anonymity you can have when you talk to people that way. Even when I met my ex in person for the first time, I was awkward and quiet. When Im online I can pretend to be happy, funny, interesting... someone Im not. But I cant fake who I am in person. Which is basically why I got dumped. My real life self wasnt the same. All the Ache and sadness I have is completely my fault. And if I end it, the problems go away forever.', 'Im really sorry you have to go through Ache Hyperactive behavior that too. My ex was my best friend above all else. For three years we talked every single day. Its sounds silly that I was 22 and he was the first person I could honestly call a friend. When we started dating it felt amazing. In love with my best friend, it was perfect. Id never been so happy. But that all changed in the blink of an eye. Literally a minute after my first kiss, he broke up with me. ""I value your friendship, I still want to keep that intact."" Thats what he said. Five months later and he has stopped talking to me altogether. I lost my best friend. And my Phobia, Social Anxiety Mental Depression is at an all time Drug abuse now. Just the thought of talking to someone in person freaks me out.When we were still together, he was helping me with my Anxiety Mental Depression issues. Hed encourage me to take baby steps to make it better. But now, I dont see the point. Ill still be alone.', 'I always make up excuses for why I cant do something. But if I really wanted to fix things, Id just do it. I wouldnt let my fear stop me. What does that say about me? I give up on everything in life. I dont think that will change. Im so mentally exhausted, I cant even think of one single reason to live. I dont care about anything anymore.']",Ideation
user-332,"['you see, I am in a lot of clubs that I absolutely enjoy. I do have a lot of friends. Its just i am awkward in a way as well. I also try making new friends but nowadays, people are jerks. I try my hardest not to think of her as well. In fact, Ive been going towards new things to do instead of thnking bout her. I dont see Suicide as an option for now. I dont wanna die but im hating how i live', 'Also, I am not the best looking individual and I lose courage a lot. Truth is, I dont even get bullied or any of that bullshit. I find school as my safe haven. I make excuses to stay in school instead of going home and playing. I try to resist, but cannot stop the urge. I used to have lots of self esteem, was never shy, athletic, and always happy. I am a class clown at school, to mask who i really am. I just feel Depressed mood and I feel Hyperactive behavior Suicide is the only option sometimes. I dont even see a future for me, just darkness. I fear one day I will kill my self with a rope and I really want people to help me on this. I cant call the hotline because my parents will find about it and comfront me.I feel the only person I can talk to is the internet.']",Ideation
user-333,"['I went through this as well.  During my depression, it was easy to be sad and use the sadness as an excuse to justify my actions.  Although I was in pain, in a way, it was comfortable.  I try to keep myself physically busy to hinder the temptation of being sad and cynical.  Its pretty hard, I hope you go through it well.', 'I hear you.  I woke up in ER after half bottle of vodka and few vicodins.  I laugh about it now.  Failing to kill myself help me abandon all my responsibilities and try a care free life for once.  It was great, but eventually, I realized a person cannot live without tasks or work.', 'Nowadays, it is easier to make money on YouTube.  It is not easy, but easier.  Be consistent and be productive.  It is playing a game, but when it becomes work, it is hard.  Put up few videos every months and eventually, you will get there.', 'I feel the same way.  No desire or passion towards anything.  While Im walking through the abyss, others tell me how Im good and say that they are jealous of my skills.  I only know those things because, ever since I was a child, I looked for my passion.  Interesting, but never fascinating.  I live day to day with simple pleasure such as food and naps.  Who knows, maybe I will find something to do later.  ', 'I feel exactly the same right now.  I wish I didnt exist in the first place so I dont have to Anxiety about killing myself.  It feels good to know Im not the only one.  There was one thing I ever had a passion for, but my parents were not supportive, rather harsh.  However, if you still are in college, take a semester off or a year to cool down.  Perhaps travel, work, or learn something new.  I worked at a factory and it was more Depressed mood than college.  Thus, I got through college.  Although I have nothing go on with, one thing is true: you have more time than I do.  Perhaps, maybe, you can find something to live for instead of becoming a sad pretentious walking sarcasm Hyperactive behavior myself.']",Attempt
user-334,"['I dont know you. You dont know me. But tonight you have the right to say you saved a life. There I sat, contemplating putting my 1957 Colt Huntsman to my temple and ending it all, but your response rang through to me. Sure, my world may be dark and grey right now. It has been for a long time. But those overcast skies are dotted with moments of sunlight. I may not miss the debt I have, but Id miss making a morning cup of coffee and watching the sunrise. I may not miss the struggles I face, but Id miss going for a nice bike ride on a beautiful day. Your response rang true to me. Reminded me that it isnt the quantity of life, its the QUALITY. Even if those moments are few and far between for me, theyre worth enduring for. The world may be a bitter and dark place. Perhaps its small moments Hyperactive behavior those that make it a little brighter. Thank you, stranger. Thank you for your time and your caring. Ive put down my arms, for the sake of tomorrows sunrise.Youve saved a life tonight.', 'Its just... I watch the news. I read the newspaper. I see what gets posted here. The world is so filled with such suffering, such misery. The frailty of the human condition exploited by those in power. Im not trying to turn this into a political statement. What Im saying is that darkness has so blanketed our species. If I believed in god, in the devil, in heaven and hell, Id believe the devil had won. My problems, my issues, seem so petty in comparison to the blights of others. But they are no less significant to me. The problems of the world compound the problems in my world. The relationship was simply the straw that broke the camels back, so to speak. She was important to me, but I had learned long ago to not invest too much into anything. I look around me. I see I have friends, family, loved ones. In that respect, I am lucky. But I see none of them. Either by choice or not. I know theyd mourn my passing. But how much more of my torment can my psyche take before I break? How much more of the same meaningless, trivial nonsense can I endure? Statistically is is proven that those in poverty have very little chance of escaping it. Im not saying that money is the end-all, be-all.... but it amounts to a daily struggle I am unsure I am willing to endure for that much longer. I have a gun and a bullet. The Sedated state darkness seems alluring at this point. So why not? Why not end the pain, this existence?']",Behavior
user-335,"['No', '> and theyre causing you to break into tears. This got me. I neither viewed it as an inducable variable/fact for my reason to create an image of my personhood nor didnt I consequently ever view me outside of myself to determine the meaning of that fact. Treating it Hyperactive behavior a dream instead, something that, as I am writing this am starting to do all over again, has given me the ability to recreate a false, purely on reason based identity. Your comment got me, but now it is being buried away as we speak... I just got to try this, it *has* to work out. FUCK, I know it wont. ..  fuck this shit... I feel Hyperactive behavior an attentionwhore writing even this sentence. Even wanting to apologize to you guys feels wrong, I want/ need to get out of here, this never happened. sorry', 'This thread made me come up with the analogy between me or even suicidal thoughts in general and the 5 stages of grief. Im in the stage of denial, and stating or knowing that I am does not change the stage I am in. I still do not want to accept the reality that there is a part of me that thinks dying is a great solution to a problem I cannot see or rationally find. I want to kill that part of my personhood off. What am I suffering from? Why am I suffering? My suicidal thoughts are just a Ache in the ass and Im denying my entire personhood, self and feelings as a result. I am killing my identity, replacing it with one where I am emotionless, and nothing but my ideas and reason will constitute me. Again, similar to how my reason is contradictory with my feelings, this acknowledgement of both my identity which I want to kill and the stage of denial are contradictory too. Its fucked up. ', '>  I usually consider Suicide to be redundant.This. It is such an unutilitarian thing to do, I instead fantasize about plans to perhaps kill Kim Jong-un so I wont Chest Pain my family and hopefully do the world some good too. If I am going to commit Suicide, it will be done in such a fashion that the most amount of people will get the most amount of happiness from it. Jumping in front of a train for example is an extremely selfish way to go, traumatizing the engineers and holding up hundreds of people. ', 'How did you even go about forcing yourself to do such small tasks? My schedule is beyond fucked up, with on average a 2-3 hour day-to-day difference in the time I go in and out of bed. Dinner often becomes breakfast and breakfast becomes dinner. Im thirsty/hungry as fuck right now, but I cant get myself to get out of bed and drink/eat something- Im skinny as fuck. I stopped making my bed in which I spend 20+ hours of my day and just Hypersomnia under and on some sheets instead. I had a bike worth 350 dollars in the city I study, which I lost/got taken by the city because I couldnt comply with the law that stated that bikes must be used every 8 weeks. I have subscriptions and contributions worth 10 dollars a month still running but are unused, because I cant get myself to post the letter to cancel the membership. ', '>  It seems Hyperactive behavior youre fending off Mental Depression with apathy.Yes, I am extremely apathetic. > If youre at a university you should see a counselor.My suicidal thoughts are Hyperactive behavior a dream to me. Not because they are, but because I push them to be Hyperactive behavior that. Maybe Im in the stage of denial, denying that these thoughts occur at all. Talking to a counselor would make it too real; then it becomes reality, a real problem. ', 'Maybe you are just gifted? Not sure if you are, but just make sure you absolutely know yourself before you kill yourself. Because there are likely many unknown unknowns about yourself which, if you do figure them out, may give you something to work with. I had been diagnosed with some shit too, but medicine didnt seem to work. I asked myself *why?*, came to the conclusion that the nature of medicine is to alter x (dopamine levels, for example) to a state in which it is healthy, but if x was healthy in the first place, then it could be that your problems are caused by something y unknown to you. You even said: ""maybe Im looking for somebody to change my mind, to give me that ""Eureka!"" moment since nothing before has worked"". The eureka moment should not only be the above, but also the understanding of the significance that you were looking for one in the first place. 5th of January? Fuck that. That is far too less time to figure shit out. Therapists are generally dumbasses whose knowledge does not extend beyond to what some course told them to know.  ']",Ideation
user-336,"['It sounds to me Hyperactive behavior you have a lot on your plate and I understand how difficult that can be. I can also understand feeling Hyperactive behavior you havent accomplished anything yet but you must remember your Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult life has literally only just begun. I didnt have my first job until I was 18 myself. As for the problem with relationships, you need to realize that, even though you were in a relationship with another person who you truly cared for, something some people never get to experience, you still knew what should be expected of the other person in a relationship. I myself suffer from Mental Depression and major clinical Anxiety Mental Depression attacks. The Mental Depression sucks but the Anxiety Mental Depression is worse. When Mental Depression bouts hit me, I only either get Exhaustion and unmotivated or, a few times a year, suicidal. But when the Anxiety Mental Depression attacks I get are common in my weekly life? That can get even worse. My therapist calls it my ""train,"" as in ""train of thought."" Ill start with some problem Im having, and in a split second, my mind will follow that ""train"" to some highly illogical conclusion. For instance I can be having a problem with my friend. Lets say we have a fight. Well that friend doesnt Hyperactive behavior me anymore -> They will tell all of our mutual friends Im a bad person -> They will realize I am indeed a horrible person -> I wont be able to focus on school because of having to Anxiety about my friends not liking me anymore -> Ill have to drop out of Uni because of bad grades -> I will have to go live with my mom -> Shell kick me out when she sees Im actually just useless -> Ill be homeless -> ill die of starvation or drug overdose in some back-alley.So as you can see, these sorts of ordinary problems a person might experience, my mind warps it into: My friend and I had a fight -> Im going to die homeless in a gutter somewhere. When I got on the right path of being able to tell these bad lines of thought from what was actual logical interjection, it helped me get past a bit of what was happening in my own life. I no longer Anxiety about when the next Anxiety Mental Depression attack is going to come because worrying would sometimes set off the attack in the first place. As for worrying about feeling Hyperactive behavior a drain on your family, please trust me when I say that you can bet that your parents wouldnt have helped pay for school for you if they didnt want you to go. Prove to everyone, but mostly to yourself that you will not be made to play the role of the victim. The problems we face now are only the problems we are facing now. Theres no way to logically know what will hold two or three years down the line. Actively seek out good changes and then they should, I say should because nothing changes how unfair life can be, lead to better things. Self improvement is a great way to negate negative feelings. Dont make yourself better for other people, but make yourself a better person just to show yourself that you can amount to something. Right now you are thinking that you yourself are the worst thing imaginable. Try and separate that part from the main you. Critique simple changes into your life, Hyperactive behavior getting a simple job, doing good in school, building healthy habits and relationships, and set goals for yourself. If I had enough space here Id tell my entire story if only you would listen. Short of it is that I came from nothing. My father was an abusive drunk/drug user who would always beat my mother, my two siblings, and myself. The first time I tried to kill myself, I was 10 years old. I tried to hang myself on the school monkey bars because, on top of the other stuff, I was always bullied at school for my weight. And wouldnt you know it? The shoe lace broke as I jumped because I was too fat to even kill myself for being fat. Now where am I? Im living my dream at the age of 23, studying abroad in Japan working on my degree in History. Still never had a meaningful relationship, but Im working on it through other areas of my life. Still fat, but I dont give a shit what other people think how I should or shouldnt look. If I decide to lose weight, Im going to do so for myself. If I want to become a balerina, I will. Life is about taking the punches, getting back up, and saying, ""Is that all you got?""If you want to talk at all, honestly Im on Reddit almost every minute of the day. Just message me and we can talk about whatever you want. :)']",Attempt
user-337,"['As far as dealing with something fucked up Hyperactive behavior what your going through my story is completely different but I know your pain. 3 months ago I was standing in a hospital room with my 2 dead sons who had just been born an hour earlier. I was in complete Shock as they had urgently rushed my wife into and OR and I had no idea what the fuck was going on. She got through alive but had some horrible near death experience. That and losing our twins was enough to make some huge changes in her outlook. I know shes Depressed mood and Im pretty sure she wants to leave me.', 'Im 30 and am still waiting for a chance to help someone through some of the experience Im gained through certain hardships. Eventually I found I strength in ""hey the world around me has shit on me so much and in so many ways but Im here and I have this (sunset, meal, house... whatever I was thankful for at the time)."" I still forget it sometimes, Im even still Depressed mood to some people because Im Stress about meaningless stuff sometimes. But if life can kick you when youre down and youre still here wanting to do good by others... youre a strong person.Buddhism, eh? I havent studied much but there was this one time. Someone had given me a copy of the Teachings of Buddha while I was hitchhiking. Didnt think much of it (really more focused on being messed up). However one night I ended up stranded in the middle of nowhere, no food, I had lost my sleeping bag partying in the last city I was in. I was scared, hungry, helpless and lonely. I started reading about the Shakyamuni Buddha (as it was the only book I had) and it just brought me such peace and comfort. I dont know why. I havent read any since Buddhism but whatever it was that night it warmed part or my heart/soul or whatever. ', 'Well I cant imagine you would pray and then think ""Wow, I enjoy praying so much suddenly life feels great."" People at the hospital wouldnt really make that much of a difference by telling you not to either. In fact, Im just some random on the internet so whatever I say is fairly pointless too.Im not here in this subreddit because I feel great about life or could tell you everything will be okay. Im giving myself 1 month to try and fix my life then, if that doesnt work, a couples months to work through my bucket list. In the meantime Ive made myself a silver space suit and am going to go around places dancing to daft punk. Ive taken up graffiti. This world can be boring and Depressed mood but if Im going to leave Im going to enjoy whatever time I have left.', 'Wow! Ok, this is intriguing stuff. ""his curator lands among the adjectivesof your favorite city"" To be honest I was just enjoying r/trees and the depth of the first poem was so beyond my current state. Give me some time to connect with this and Ill reply with how I experienced it. Maybe sometime Sunday.', 'No, it doesnt get better for some people. But those people also mindlessly go through the same day doing the same thing for the rest of their life. Tell me, what Abnormal behavior things have you done? If youre going to kill yourself think of how free you are; you can do anything you want because nothing matters. You dont have to Anxiety about fucking up your future, offending people or anything. Take a couple days to do things differently than you do everyday, take some time to be free. ', 'The best poets had little connecting them with other human beings. Would you share anything with us?', 'Dont Anxiety about disappointing your family right now. Focus on yourself. Stop spending all your time at home.Where did you run away to? Did you just hide at a friends or did you go adventuring? Are you still in school now or are you off for the summer?', 'I often feel disconnected with the world even though Im not specifically suffering in anyway. Remember the days where maybe you just walking along listening to music (or something else seemingly insignificant). Maybe youll see some leaves swirl in the wind or a stranger does something nice and suddenly everything feels right. ', 'Today I lost a family member to Suicide. I honestly hadnt seen him for years and we were never close. I know he went through hard times, divorce, losing his wife, hardly seeing his kids and then losing his job (only remaining purpose in his mind I suppose) leading up to it.My wife and I have also been through many hard times. Were together and its better but its taken a whole lot (including one attempt on my part but I really just couldnt do it).Maybe you know you can win your wife back but you should also know you can put your best into it and it may not work.  If youre thinking ""If I cant be with her Ill die"" youll probably lose her because thats denial and hopeless. If youre thinking about killing yourself then you are free from risk, you can be selfless, adventurous, spontaneous and thrilling because if it doesnt work out theres nothing worse that can happen compared to what youre thinking about. Just dont be obsessively Abnormal behavior and obliviously hopeful and things will get better. ', 'Hey, I just came over to Suicide watch because I need to talk to someone whos struggling. Im very sorry to hear about your wife and I Irritable Mood seriously sorry. I have tears for you brother and wish I cold just give you a hug and say it will get better. EDIT: Im going to keep going below but I just wanted to say that first.', 'When I was in Drug abuse school I was that kid who would run away all the time. I just couldnt deal with my problems and there was nobody to help me. Running away isnt a good solution because if you just run away youre not dealing with anything. On the other hand if you go and spend some good time alone, maybe deal with some challenges (finding places to eat, sleep, etc.) and just being with yourself, its really good for your mind and self. Its not anything wrong with you thats making you feel Depressed mood, its the world around you. If you get some interesting time to yourself youll find youre stronger and more lovable than you would have imagined. ', 'Dont Anxiety about contributing to the lives of others... not yet anyway. In the hardest of times theres really only ever ourselves to deal with. Lots of times focusing on others or surrounding yourself with others detracts from self (especially when you dont see value in yourself). Years ago I had what I thought was a good sized, solid group of friends. Ive always had issues relating to others and the world around me but found through drugs and partying people found me entertaining. When my drug use became a problem I quickly realized how few friends I actually had. People who I had seen every day for years, saw me in a time of need and decided to ignore me entirely as it would be too uncomfortable for them to try and help.There is a reason for you to exist but neither you or I know what that is right now. Even your post title shows a strength and intuitiveness thats not really common. Youre at an extremely low point yet still thinking of the importance of helping others. Theres a stupid saying ""calm seas dont make good sailors."" Just Hyperactive behavior an easy life wont make a good person.You can get through this. I dont know how but I know you will. And one day someone will cross your path who youll be able to contribute to their life in a positive manner *only* because you understand this pain. If you need to vent, PM me anytime. I may not respond right away but if your plans are long term-ish we at least have that much time to get to know each other better.My name is Atomyk and I dont know you but I love you.', 'Well this doesnt sound written to me but I have gone through something similar. Most of the time people get to be blissfully ignorant of their own weaknesses and short comings. Every once and a while someone Hyperactive behavior yourself will do something so stupid they can no longer ignore these issues. Sometimes it ruins a person and sometimes it stars a journey into the deepest layers of self becoming in touch with your weaknesses, fears and truly being aware of self. From there you see all the walls, masks and games youve made to protect yourself and youll start recognizing the Muscle Weakness and the walls in others. From there you can really become an amazing, warm and loving person. Its quite a trip my friend but if you take it you can be one of those radiant people that others feel a connection with just through simple small talk. ']",Ideation
user-338,"['I was in the same situation  a year ago - and im so happy that i wasnt able to commit Suicide!  really please dont do it!i feel so helpless...trust me, i know how that feels but everything will get better, mate', 'hey man - excuse my bad english - im from germany.but id Hyperactive behavior to tell you again that you really should not kill yourself - im 16 years old and i tried to hang me up but i didnt make it because i fell in Panic Attacks - this was my last try and i talked to some people and changed the way i life, got some order into my stuff/got some stuff to do etc and now i feel stronger than before i got Depressed mood just tell me and i will listen to you and do my best to support you in this situation', 'Hey you i wanna be your penpal! : ) im male, 16 years old and had a Mental Depression (if its over yet) for around one year and now im feeling way better and id Hyperactive behavior to help others because some help would have been awesome <3 ', 'it helped me a lot to think about my grandparents because my grandfather died a year before my birth and he invested a lot in my future even though he didnt now ill be born a year after - same for my grandma, she wouldnt live longer if id have commited Suicide and maybe my parents too. I just couldnt do that knowing that i would destroy my very small family']",Behavior
user-339,"['Trying to talk to my friend. Hes drunk at another friends and has no transportation.  What frustrates me the most is he said to call I needed him and when I did, he asked it I was sure if I needed him.  ', 'Theyre 1500 miles away and our relationship had been strained for some time, so its not really an option. ', 'Portland.  Im fairly active under my main account which is why I posted on an alternate account. ', 'Its nice to get it all out there. But still a bit hopeless.  Im considering checking myself in tomorro q', 'I live in Portland. And have literally $30 until the 28th.  Hes pretty much as broke as I am ', 'Already tried. He basically blew me off (typical northwest flakiness) i felt Hyperactive behavior a fucking inconvenience for asking.Ive tried talking to my mom, she said I should ask god for guidance (Im an atheist) unfortunately I am an only child. ', 'I can walk to the hospital and thats where Im headed now ', 'Thank you so much for your support. I wanted to let you know I was out of the hospital.  ', 'Ive been medicated, Im currently on Xanax but it hasnt really helped. And neither have any of the other medications Ive been on. I cant afford a therapist and because of the hours I work, finding a free counselor has been practically impossible. I live about 1500 miles from my family and going home is really not an option due to my finances. ', 'I dont mind the rain. And sure, it would be cool. Its usually easier to reach me on my main account as I rarely check this one. Ill shoot you a pm with it ']",Behavior
user-340,"['I had a plan with a knife too, and when push came to shove on my pre-meditated time and day, I didnt have the courage or guts or willpower or whatever to do myself in.  You dont want to die.  You said it yourself, you need some help.  If you wanted to die youd already be dead.', 'How you look has nothing to do with having a good time doing things.', 'Call this overly simplifying the problem of friends, but it is never too late to learn.  Find something you Hyperactive behavior doing, do it, and if you want to be around people who you can get along with / get along with you find a way to do it in a group setting.  If youre interested in Jazz find a bunch of venues and try to talk to people. ""Hey there, by any chance are you in to the jazz scene?  Okay, well I was curious if you know about any other shows.""  ""Hey there mr. Comic book cashier.  Do you know if there are any groups or clubs that meet to talk about latest releases?""""Mr. Bowlarama dude, are there any leagues where I could play with more serious bowlers?""Friends are people you do things you both Hyperactive behavior together.  Some things work better online (over-analyzing every new episode of The Walking Dead or celebrities who just got boob jobs), but nobody and nothing is ever too late to have friends.To comment on your age, youre being melodramatic.  Youre 20 now.  If you died of old age at 80, thats 60 years or 3/4 of your life.  Thinking that 1/4 of your time has been wasted or squandered, thats really nothing.  If you lost 8 minutes out of a half hour TV show (22 minutes of effective show), thats tolerable losses.  But if you choose to not live, you just sat through 8 minutes of wasted commercials and turned the TV off before you could figure out if the TV show was amazing or an overall waste.  You know what the first quarter of your life has been, but you have no knowledge of what the rest will hold, only hunches and guesses.', '*The only point is kids, procreation, furthering your genetics.*Despite all the other good points you made in your post, I think this is the beginning and ultimately the crux of your argument.  I used to think Hyperactive behavior you, and feel the same way, and had crippling Mental Depression too, but it all changed and Ive successively better and better years from one little secret.I stopped giving a fuck.  I stopped caring.  I quit giving a damn about anything other than me.You mention travel, right?  I travel, and I do it because I want to see something cool that is different from anywhere on the west coast (I grew up in Vancouver, kind of Hyperactive behavior your northern brother).  I travel and I dont take a camera, I travel and I send maybe one email halfway through a one month trip, usually to let my next-of-kin know Im still alive.  I dont travel to meet people, I dont travel to show people where Ive been, I travel to see shit that I think is cool, and eat food thats tasty and not american-ish.You seem to be in a rut of caring what other people think.  You care that other people are monsters, that other people think and do not say,and that other people want you to sacrifice yourself for nothing.  You care that other people think theyre better than you, that other people expect things of you, and that other people engage in hypocrisy.Im not going to tell you what to do, but Id Hyperactive behavior to give my two cents on what to try.  Try looking at things a different way, a more personal and selfish way.  Making somebody elses life better is not going to make yours, making YOUR life better will make your life better.  Dont do anything you dont want to do, and dont care what other people are doing.  Figure out something that seems fun, and engage in that instead of what is ""supposed"" to be fun when drinking coffee from a two-tailed mermaid.No matter when your life ends, whether its a week from now getting hit by the bus, ten years from cancer, or fifty years when you cant hack it anymore, the only thing that will matter to you is what you did.  If you did things you did not enjoy, your life will have no meaning.  If you filled your life with things you enjoy doing, or seem fun, then you will die fulfilled. I play pool and lots of video games every day.  Some call it a waste of a life, but who cares about other people, am I right?  Find something that seems fun to you, not what is ""supposed"" to be fun.', 'Im going to address your problems point by point.  I will label them in what I think the order of priority is.  Ill give a very brief pre-amble of my life.I just turned 25 in October.  Ive been Depressed mood since the age of ten, and thought about Suicide since 13/14.  I got a girlfriend senior year of HS, went to university, and dropped out during my 2nd semester.  Said GF Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me a week prior to our one year and she shacked up with a friend I introduced her to.  I spiralled hard, tried to take my life, and was in the psyche ward for two weeks.  Struggled with Mental Depression for about two years after that, suicidal included, but things are stable now.**1. You will not be permitted to live with your parents/you do not have a job.**This is what you need to deal with right now.  I personally think your parents are being little shits for threatening to kick you out at your lowest, but no matter what you have to have a solution.  In the event you are going to get kicked out, you need to find a place to live.  Try to rent out a room from somewhere on kijiji or craigslist.  People have to be looking for one more roomie, and if you can score a cheap place to live for a little while youll get freedom.  Not the same type of freedom you think you have had, but the freedom to be away from a parental structure that seems Megacolon, Toxic if they arent fostering your well being.**2. You are dropping out of University and do not have a means of financial support**This is a pretty obvious issue, and something you should be able to remedy fairly easy.  Youre going to be on your own soon, and youre going to need to keep yourself afloat.  You can bug /personalfinance on how to make it work, but any sort of minimum wage job for a while should keep you afloat in your new dive.  The easy key is to try to work somewhere close to where you live.  If you have to walk, bike, take transit, whatever, do it.  As much as the job may suck, its sort of a necessity to help fix the other issues eating you up.  Once you have these two done, as hard as it can be, as much as it might eat at you at night, this is when the hardest is over.  What comes next is the easy part, the part that you dont have to work nearly as hard on to still get results, the Phobia, Social aspect.**3. You have Social Anxiety and its hindering your chances at friends and prospective lovers**The first thing Im going to do is steal an idea from Savage Love.  Im sharing the link before I quote him.  Granted youre not a meth addict doing orgies, but the root question is valid.http://www.avclub.com/article/get-it-together-209246*""Would you date you? If you wouldn\xe2\x80\x99t date someone in the condition you\xe2\x80\x99re currently in, GLC, then it\xe2\x80\x99s highly unlikely that anyone else would. The idea that there are millions of single people seeking romantic relationships with train wrecks is a fantasy promoted by Hollywood.""* Social Anxiety Mental Depression is something I had for a while, and its something I learned my way through.  Im going to say here and now if you dont have any friends, dont bother Panic for girlfriends.  Girls are and can be fun, but if youre not the person who cant have any friends, youre in no shape to find girlfriends.  Im not saying this to be Irritable Mood, Im just pointing out an oft-overlooked aspect of girls.Girlfriends are Girl-Friends.  The same skills you will get to make friends and be a cool guy are the same that will be used for Girlfriends.  If youre stuck at a minimum wage job, youre going to be surrounded by people.  The key to getting through the day is to have something to talk about.  Talk to other people, ask questions.  Nobody is going to bite your head off if youre curious how long theyve worked there.  Nobody is going to snub you for asking what they did with their days off... unless theyre a dick.  Striking up conversation is pretending to care about somebody elses life and padding the imaginary resume of yours.  If you dont have any interests and just Hypersomnia or masturbate all day, youre not going to have any redeeming qualities to talk about for any guys/gals you run across.Friends are hard to make.  I think personally I have Hyperactive behavior two or three, but a lot of acquaintances and people I get along with.  Its tough, it sorta sucks, but if you are interested in something youll eventually find somebody whos into it too.  The reason youll find somebody interested in similar things is because of this little secret: As long as you dont kill yourself, youve got time.  Youve been alive for 18 years, you should easily have another 36 years (at least) to find people who are into the things you are.To your final paragraph, heres my $.02.  Suicide is always a way out, but its almost never the best way out.  You may feel Hyperactive behavior pressure is getting to you and everything is Drug withdrawal syndrome down, and Ive been there before (countless times), but given enough time a solution makes itself clear.', 'I cant really provide much insight but if you want to join the military, I vote Navy.  Navy is cushy in that youre always in the same bed, you have a floating kitchen and hospital always on hand, and the bigger the boat the less the seasickness.', 'I will throw my $.02 just Hyperactive behavior others here.  I will address the Ex and the school/coursework.You are Drug abuse to meth.  Your ex is Drug abuse to meth.  Youre trying to get off the junk, so you get sober for a bit.  Youre doing alright, but you occasionally deal with your ex who is talking about meth and getting Drug abuse and the feelings associated with it.  Is this healthy, is this keeping you clean and well?  No.  Being around negative and destructive people will bring you down with them.  Maybe when youre well past Mental Depression, maybe when youve truly nipped it in the butt, you could talk with him again.  For now, dealing with people who are Megacolon, Toxic is not worthwhile.Furthermore, youre 18.  You will meet a LOT of new people later on in life.  Youre done dating this guy, youre past dealing with him, cut him off.  Theres thousands of other guys around where you live (probably).  Theres no reason to hang on to people who are not good for you own personal health.Furthermore, with school, I cant comment too much.  I can say that you may be able to handle school better if you werent Depressed mood.  It can also be depressing if all you do is Hypersomnia-eat-school-lounge.  I know in my history of being Depressed mood that when I get down I get inactive and lethargic.  Physical exercise (going for a run) is a great way to de-stressify yourself and tackle problems that come up.  Movies are great, but movies dont have the same satisfaction as a body Exhaustion from a long run or some Abnormal dreams pool swimming.  If you can avoid people who are dangerous and liable to take you down into their spiral, and if you can find a bit of an escape and healthy Stress relief from your school, you might find yourself better equipped to tackle the stressors of life.', 'How often have you made the effort to the two good friends to hang out or do something together?  Most people suck, and often times they will not be the ones to call you first, text you first, or make plans to do something first.  This doesnt Irritable Mood they dont want to hang out with you, it just means they have lives of their own.  Sometimes I get so busy I lose track of some of the people I have hung out with from time to time, and sometimes they lose track of me.  Life can be pretty busy at times, just because youre hung up over them not trying to make plans to hang out with you, doesnt Irritable Mood theyre feeling the same way.  The older you get, the more you have to actively try to keep the friends you have lest you risk letting things fade apart.As for the female persuasion, Im going to tell you something I was told from a girl I met at a bar once.  I was infatuated with a girl, and the situation was... a little similar.  Unrequited affection.  *""I fell in love with her, being my super shy self, I never told her how I feel to this day because I know how it would turn out, she has no clue about this""*By not telling this girl how you feel, because ""you know how it will turn out,"" you are taking away her freedom to make that choice.  At some point you will realize there are only a number of finite options you can make, and at no point is it permissible to be mad/upset at her for any of these.1. You dont tell her how you feel about hera) You find acceptance in yourself for only being a friend to this girl, orb) You cease being friends with her because it hurts too much.2. You tell her how you feel about hera) She reciprocates your feelings and things progressb) She is pushed away by your expression and...ba) you two remain friendsbb) you two stop being friends.There is one thing you know, and that is you are **not** certain how she feels.  You can make educated guesses, you can base your decision off your observations.  You do not know what this girl will respond because you have not asked her (youre not a mind reader), so its unfair to assume shes going to answer a certain way and hold it against her for that.Leaving this place will not solve all your problems.  Leaving this place will be saying that you refuse to answer them, and youre going.  Its Hyperactive behavior walking out on a test, nothing was solved, everything was Ventricular Dysfunction, Left blank.  Your life is yours, you can make whatever choices you wish, but theres a lot of things youll miss on the test of life if you leave it blank too early.', 'I totally love the first half of your post, and I only read it after my own response which is pretty similar.  I think were pretty similar in doing whatever the fuck we want to do without questioning or being questioned.  Way better said than the paragraphs I glued together.', 'Do you mind expanding on that IranRPCV?  To play devils advocate and pretend to be OP, how can you justify the reality of his importance to us?  I have a feeling thats going to be his knee-jerk question, and I think its fairly valid to ask.', 'Theres a big difference between going for a drive with the intention of going off a bridge and actively, actually turning that steering wheel to do it.  Every day for a month I drove the same highway to work, and every day there were three checkpoints where I could *""drive off a bridge""* as you put it but I couldnt.  The actual will to end my life was not there, and it was the worst my Mental Depression got, knowing I couldnt end my life even if I wanted to.What changed over the years were a multitude of things, but the answer that works for me is the one that you describe in your own post. *""No one cares.""*  The moment you stop caring about other people, and its obvious to me you care very much, the more you can care about yourself.  If you want to sun-tan naked then be damned all the people who stare and judge.  If you want to eat your face off then be damned all the whispers and murmurs.  Being an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult human is relatively simple, its autonomy in the day to day of your life and having the final say in any decision about yourself.  You cant control other people, but you can control yourself.  The control over yourself you can try to exert is finding things that dont make you hate yourself, and repeating those actions instead of the ones that do.Finally, Ill address your last point head on.*You dont care, you never have cared, you never will care.* Youre absolutely right.  I dont know you, Ive never known you, and I never will know you.  The same is true about patrick in the UK, Franz in Germany, or Anne in Texas.  You cant bleed your heart about each of the ~100,000 people a day who die, only those who you care about immediate to you.  Beyond that, what we do, what Im doing, is just throwing my two cents into the bucket and maybe somebody will find it shiny enough to take with them.']",Attempt
user-341,"['Im glad I made you laugh. Honestly Im a strange person filled with hate and love and I have very strong opinions about many things. But the thought of anyone committing Suicide saddens me greatly. Theres always another way. always. For example- and Im not suggesting you do this- I once read a very inspirational story about a homeless guy who deliberately committed an offence and got caught. While he was in jail he used the time to better himself by completing a degree and lined himself up a job for when he got out. Theres always another way around a situation. If you ever feel Hyperactive behavior someone to talk to, pm me. Im also available on most Phobia, Social networks. ', 'please dont kill yourself. ty']",Supportive
user-342,"['You will. Just think of something positive that makes Sedated state and happy, Hyperactive behavior a beach or a gentle breeze.  You will be okay :). Whenever you start panicking, just remember that youre in control of your situation and you can get through it.  Always, always breathe deep and think calmly.  Bring peace to your mind :).', 'Breathe slowly.  Try to focus on something positive.  I know you dont Hyperactive behavior living with family, but dont let him control your life.  You have friends here to help you :).  Were here for yoj., and I dont even know you.', 'Youre 20.  You still have a life ahead of you.  Life is horrible, but you gotta grab it and open the doors.', 'I know what youre feeling.  My ex-gf basically ignored MD, and we had been together for 7 months.  I felt horrible, Hyperactive behavior those 7 months ultimately meant nothing.  Im telling you, live.  I know its very hard, but ending it is not the way to fix things.Please stay alive.  Please?', 'Its not a problem, thats what we are here for.  Lots of people need a hug or just someone to talk to :).  I feel as though you will do well :).  Please be careful and remember, a Sedated state mind.', 'Ive been emotionally attached to someone younger than me (Im 24, shes about 16-17.) Ive never looked at child pornography and havent downloaded any.  Yes, Ive had...thoughts about this girl.  But the reason I do not act on those thoughts is because I honestly care for her. Not being able to see her smile and knowing that I caused her suffering. The thought of it makes me deeply sad.I can say you are on the right track to helping yourself, not by saying youre a freak, but by admitting that you do have an issue and it needs to be taken care of.  Im sure the link below could have helped.Understand that you ARENT alone.  There are people here that are willing to help you in any way they can. :)', 'I do.  Look at your Aspbergers as a gift.  A lot of great people had it, Hyperactive behavior Einstein :).I have a friend who has it, and it took a while for him to gain his Phobia, Social confidence, but he did.  And he feels a lot better.  I cant gibe you therapy professionally, but I want you to know I am herhere :),  and so are others :).   You are not alone friend.', 'Im glad.  Try to think positive.  If you feel down again, you can talk to me anytime ya want :)', 'Youre very welcome :). Im glad that youre feeling better :D', 'I understand what youre going through.Im 24, and my mother didnt exactly make the best choices (premature), and my sis took care of me since I was 8, and then I legally loved with my grandma until 18, when I legally became an adult.  I have a Depressed mood job in terms of making money.  My grandma treats me Hyperactive behavior a child, says I dont know anything and such, it really annoys me.  We argue a good bit.  Had a gf for 7 months and then we broke up.   I feel trapped in some ways.There were/are days when I ask myself why I wake up.  Doing the same things everyday.Ive drank myself to Hypersomnia once, and it was horrible. Ive had a set of friends Ive known forever.  They helped me slowly gain confidence.  I know we dont know each other, but I want to help you in any way I can.I feel your pain.  I may fall Somnolence but I will reply ASAP. :)']",Supportive
user-343,"['I work at a Suicide hotline and have had to call rescue many times for people and advised even more Hyperactive behavior yourself to contact the authorities in very similar situations.Depending on your location the responders and procedures may vary a little but in Texas when we contact the police for a welfare check they will respond within 10-20 minutes, what they walk in on greatly depends on the reactions. Also, sometimes it isnt just the police, sometimes mental health professionals and the ambulance come along as well. They will assess the situation and talk to her to evaluate how she is doing. If they feel she needs help they will transport her to the hospital. If not they will do their best to alert a family member/roommate of the situation and advise her to seek out help if she feels she needs it. It should be 100% anonymous. If they ask for your name give it but just ask that you dont tell her. They are not  there to bust someone for anything, that is not to say they wont. That varies from cop to cop and also if the gun is being handled or possibly seen.But the thing is, death is a much longer sentence than any unregistered gun charge. You could also call some local psychiatric hospitals to see if they have any welfare check programs (some do but its rare)And alert someone else of your concerns.  Does she live with her parents, boyfriend, roommate?  Try to talk to someone else so they are aware of what is going on as well. If you decide you dont want to call for a welfare check yet. Id see if you could get her to at least talk to someone.  A trick I use a lot is to break it down for them. Do not say they need help to get *better* because they do understand that that takes months-years.  Just ask them to meet with someone once, make one phone call. Baby steps. Give her the numbers to your local hotlines, you dont have to pressure her to call but just so she has them. She may reach out for help on her own. And most importantly, make sure YOU are ok. If you need help or support of any kind find someone to lean on.', 'You have so many possibilities ahead of you.  You got into med school, thats a whole lot more than most people can accomplish. Its going to be hard to finish school; I did not go to med school so I am not sure what the options are but you can do it. you may have to get creative or re-structure your life, and you may have to sacrifice sleep/social life etc to finish.  but that is the life of a grad student.If medicine is something you are passionate about you just need to find a way to rekindle that passion and youll get a second wind.As for the girl situation; if she broke up with you over your penis size then good riddance; you dont want her.  You have a lot to offer the right girl. Even if you are not well endowed there are plenty of other ways to sexually satisfy someone and plenty of men who are unlucky in that department who are happily in a relationship.  Take it from a girl, if you hone your other talents you can make her forget about your size. Youre in med school, you sound very intelligent, honest, and self-aware. Grad/Med school school and your early twenties is a transitional period for everyone in one way or another.  But you are 21!  I promise you, that is so young.  In the next year even so much will change.  You will look back on this in July of 2013 and hardly recognize yourself, and you will do that again and again.  Some years you may miss the previous you and others you may be elated you made it through that year.  As for your looks/social skills, non of that is permanent that can all be fixed if it is really as bad as you say, but often times we are our own worst critics. ', 'If he called and mentioned the firearm.  I was under the impression that it was more something he didnt want to alert the police of but that may be discovered in the process. Nonetheless if someone is threatening Suicide and youve Exhaustion all other options, I would still alert the authorities. ', 'Heh, therapists deal with a lot of patients Hyperactive behavior that and are probably very used to it.My advice would be to schedule one and tell them just that, see what they say they can offer you.What is it you are hoping to gain from a psychologist?', 'I know at my center we all answer the calls a bit differently; you can always try back until you get a greeting you feel gives you a comfortable opening. Me personally, I do what you want and usually say ""How are you"". or something along those lines. My suggestion though is no matter what they say, just say ""Hi"". We get every single kind of greeting you can imagine, Hyperactive behavior crying, Sedated state and cheery, Violent cussing, drunk slurring etc.  Saying ""Hi"" is all you need to make that first connection, from there they should most definitely ask how you are or why you are calling. Dont feel bad if you feel Hyperactive behavior you have to try multiple times. Depending on the hotline, odds are the counselor wont even know it. I have some callers that love to talk to me and hate to talk to some of my co-workers and will keep calling until they get someone they Hyperactive behavior. Just different styles and comfort levels. I do the same thing with phone calls, I almost always write a script of at least the bullet points I want to hit.  Maybe try that; if you can think of things bothering you and list them, even if its something silly that is just bothering you today that will at least give you something to go off of. Or be honest, say youve never called before and you dont know how it works. That happens a lot more than you think. Its scary reaching out for help, and I completely feel for you, just be patient, keep the #s handy and when you need to, call, then if you dont feel comfortable, hang up. No big deal, you can always try again later. We get some frustrating calls some days (prank calls, sex fetish calls etc) I know I would love to be able to talk to someone Hyperactive behavior you and help you however I could, even if its just listening for a few minutes.  My most common starts to the call are:""Hi""""I just need someone to talk to""""Ive never done this before, can you tell me what Im supposed to do?""or they just jump right into why they called barely giving me a chance to say my name. haha :) There is no right or wrong way. ', 'You could suggest they try to find a local Survivors of Suicide support group if they want something more personal and on going.  ', 'Im a crisis counselor and this is, in my opinion, bad advice.  If a person needs psychological help, often times there is no other way to get them the help they need then by forcing them into a 72 hours psych hold, and the only way to do that if they are an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult and have not committed any crimes is to involve the police. The first thing we tell someone who is calling about a suicidal friend is to take care of themselves first.  You dont want to put yourself in harms way, or in a situation where you arent comfortable, could potentially witness something traumatic or harm a friendship.No one likes the police, but most cities are pretty good about understanding suicidal threats (sincere and otherwise)  They are trained in crisis management, something OP, to the best of my knowledge, is not trained in. It is unfair to ask a friend and even a relative to intervene in some situations and in MOST of those situations they could be the worst person in terms of what her friend needs.The police absolutely are there for that, thats exactly why they are trained and have specific programs for these situations.  ', 'Right, but they cannot commit someone for that, and OP (or someone) would need to have reported her for possessing one. I meant more along the lines of drug use, violence, drunk driving, and so on. ', 'Nothing that grieves us can be called little. A childs loss of a doll & a kings loss of a crown are events of the same size. ~ Mark TwainThis is one of my favorite quotes.  Dont ever feel Hyperactive behavior you shouldnt feel one way because someone else has it ""worse"" than you.  There is not a universal rubric on which to measure suffering. ', 'There doesnt have to be, if nothing can be pinpointed then they can still help. I spent most of my therapy just going over my weeks, good and bad and discussing relationships.  Sometimes they can help you figure out a ""cause"" if there is one. Or just help you with the ambiguity. ', 'Ive had a therapist most of my life and I just completed my BS in Psych pursuing grad school next.For me and my depression, my psychologist literally saved my life more times than I can count.  Each experience is a bit different and it depends on the type of psychology they practice but I have only had one bad experience with a psychologist in 25 years and they were court appointed. (haha) I would call them and ask about your insurance, they can tell you how much is covered and so on.  As far as what to expect; In my experience the first meeting will be just a general get to know you sort of session.  They will ask about your life as well as any specific reasons you came to see them.  This is to see if you BOTH think this is something that will work. Its hard to say how a specific therapy session would go without knowing what type of psychologist they are but my best guess would be that you would meet weekly/biweekly/monthly (depending)  where they would ask you various questions or you could just openly talk. They would give you tools and advice to try and apply in your life. And what was always most important to me, offer someone who is in no way involved in your life, they dont have a stake either way and they are there is validate and support you. It cannot hurt. ', 'Id bet something went wrong with the *67, If a # is blocked there is no way for us to unblock it.  Believe me, there are times we definitely wish we could to save someones life.Again, its my opinion the counselor shouldnt have called back, it is not 1-800 suicides policy by any means to do that. But, sometimes a counselor might feel its needed.  I would disagree with them wholeheartedly.  As I said, the job requires that we understand what is and is not within our control and sometimes people have a lot of trouble with that. Some people are upset when we ask if we can call the police, or actually do it. but you need to understand what our services are for; we are there to talk and help you through things but we are not going to sit on the phone and listen to you kill/Chest Pain yourself.  We are legally required to call the police if the situation merits it, and at my center its our policy that if a call is terminated and we believe the person is in real danger that we call the authorities immediately, we never call back the caller unless they contracted with us to do so. Im sorry that your friend doesnt trust them anymore, hotlines can be a great resource for some people, but it sounds Hyperactive behavior he doesnt want the help we can offer. We have very limited resources, we cannot spend an hour with each caller and we cannot be a voice to listen to while you harm yourself, nor can we contact a friend or family member about the situation. The only avenue we have to physically intervene is the police. Its good that he sought out a professional counselor as they have many more resources and availability to work with him and I hope he is doing better.   ', 'I am a call counselor for NSPL as well as various local hotlines. I understand its really hard to make that call, but we really are there to listen, and we allow you to guide the conversation.  We arent going to dig into anything you dont want to discuss, if you just want to call for referrals thats what well give you. If you are lonely and just need someone to talk to well give you 15 minutes to just shoot the shit.  What is it that makes you nervous?  I assure you its 100% anonymous and we honestly wont judge you. If you have any specific questions about protocol, what info we ask for etc.  feel free to ask me.Im also here to talk if you need to. ', 'This greatly depends on many many factors. I work for a hotline and 1-800-Suicide is one of the lines we answer. Yes, we have caller ID, but there are easy ways to block it that actually do work. It shows up as ""0"" on our computer. As far as getting called back, the protocol for that varies greatly from counselor to counselor.  If we believe the person is actually in the process of harming themselves, we are required by law to report it. Normally we will just call the authorities.  We have no actual way of tracking a person, beyond the white pages. We call the authorities and give them all the information we know. Now, for an unsettling call, its hard to say.  The training at my center as well as my personal beliefs are that they need to agree to a follow up call (which is pretty common) these are set up in advance and we will call back 1 hour, 2 hour, 24 hours etc etc.  To check in and see how the caller is doing. Usually after giving them some piece of advice to go try to do in the interim. Its my personal opinion that if you just werent getting what you needed, were still upset, didnt promise to not Chest Pain yourself and the counselor called you back because they just wanted a ""happy resolution"" then they were overstepping their role, big time. There needs to be a trust and confidentiality maintained.  I have gotten those calls where the person either hung up or was still distraught when we terminated the call, and they suck.  You end up thinking about that person for a few days hoping they are ok, but thats one of the downsides of the job.  I dont call them back if they terminated the call, obviously what I was offering wasnt working for them, Im not going to force it down their throats.Especially since all us counselors have different counseling styles.  We have a lot of callers call numerous times trying to find a counselor that can offer what they need/want. (They can usually figure out who is working pretty quickly) We arent going off a script, please if you ever feel Hyperactive behavior you need someone to talk to dont let one stupid, counselor on a power trip trying to assuage their own Guilt stop you from reaching out. I promise you there are those of us who can be helpful and respectful. Im sorry if that counselor made you uncomfortable. Just know that that sounds Hyperactive behavior an edge case to me, and Im tempted to tell you to report them, if you got their name we can track it to whomever was working the shift, no matter where their center is located. Im here to talk if you need it. And I wont track your ISP, :o)', 'For the line(s) I work at which includes NSPL. It depends on your carrier, just call them and ask how 1-800 #s show up on their bills. For us, the # appears but it doesnt say ""Crisis Intervention of City"". and there is never a charge.As everyone else said, there are numerous online services as well, and most crisis lines also have chat services now. ', 'Im a crisis counselor and a lot of people wonder the same thing, will it ever end? I, too, battled major Mental Depression disorder and suicidal thoughts throughout my adolescence and then again in my early twenties. The biggest difference I noticed the second time around, once I acknowledged my Mental Depression was back and started taking steps to get better was that I had history that said I could do it.  I had pulled myself out of it when I was 18 and I found happiness; yes, my Mental Depression did return but I was already ahead of the game and I had a lot of tools to help me cope better the second time around.I always tell the teenagers that I counsel that its especially hard when you are Depressed mood and a teenager because you havent yet seen how drastically life can change, how much you will change.  My Drug abuse school self wouldnt even recognize my college self. You are lucky in that you are 17, if you go to university or not; your life will go through so many changes in the next few years, you wont even believe it.You just need to prepare for the changes. If you want to go to university, then do everything you can to get there.  ']",Supportive
user-344,"['They did! Ill respond to them with my concerns and such, thanks for checking in, I was feeling a bit alone today :/', 'I dont have a smartphone sadly :(', 'I will, thanks! Is the offer still open to email and such?', 'And Im doing OK-ish, Stress about college and somewhat irrationally worried about losing friends and wondering who I can share my feelings with :/', 'Another thing is that since the summer I feel alone, trying to connect with old friends but theyre either away or busy or just dont answer for the most part. It seems Im lonelier in the summer than when Im in school.', 'Im not sure what to say other than PLEASE unload your guns, throw away the bullets (or lock them in a safe, or something) and call a hotline. And in my case in universities you generally have to be persistent in getting help. I know when I was in my worst period I had to be put on a waiting list the first time despite voicing extreme suicidal thoughts.', 'Sure, why not. Im feeling pretty much alone right now. ', 'To clarify, by unload I Irritable Mood remove the bullets from your guns. Im not sure what the proper gun terminology is for that.', 'Im doing ok but been better...laptop got stolen at a party and feeling eh...watched a movie with some friends though. Thanks so much for checking in, howre you?', 'I have MSN and facebook.', 'Thanks for your help, Ill take you up on your offer :)', 'Bilal. I may have explained it to you in an email.', 'Here is me.http://imgur.com/j0u1AxQ', 'whats bbm?', 'One other thing Im fretting about is that Im 20 but never had a girlfriend before, and feel a bit lonely now :/', 'Thanks, this really does help, I have trouble recognizing small victories ', 'And sorry to triple post but Im trying to find a balance between staying connected to friends and coming on too strong :/', 'Ah I see abot the PMs, didnt see it. Still appreciate the advice though.', 'Im studying biochem, hopefully to get into the medical field as a pharmacist, psychiatrist, anesthesiologist, or radiologist. I hope it pans out though.']",Indicator
user-345,"['Im not saying she doesnt matter as a person. I just see a lot of kids with the FML attitude, and over what? ""I didnt get an ipod for Christmas, FML!"" Really, an ipod that will be out of date in a few years and your whole life is ruined. I saw money issues as a problem, but honestly those are her parents concern. Dont take on problems that are not yours. Dont measure yourself against other people. There will ALWAYS be someone better. Measure yourself against who you were yesterday, and you may not always win, but you will get better.And finally, I was saying find a better mentor to hang around than her parents. Teacher, coach, who knows (probably not people off the internet) But learn about life from people that are successful at it, or something, anything...', 'Im an atheist that doesnt fit in too. Cynical, single, I think I understand your pain. It may suck, but I guess I look at it as faking it and following blindly, being someone you are not, would be wayyyyy worse than being you.I think you also have to think about that its still winter, and some people get seasonal effective disorder from lack of sun. Get out and get some sun if you can. Secondly, V-day is coming. It puts extra pressure on everyone, not just the single people. It all passes man. As far as motivation. Get a couple of 5 hour energies and pop one of those in the morning. Without them sometimes I dont get out of bed till I have to work. With them I get so much more done. Its not just the caffeine that helps.', 'I reddit. Even if you steal your buddies gun and go out into the woods someone is going to find the body eventually.This is what I see from your post. There is a party going on but instead of connecting with people, you are alone thinking of killing yourself because you dont connect with people. kind of a conundrum...So youre a smart guy, maybe. Things have always been easy for you in life. Making friends is not always easy. Dont Crying Reflex, Abnormal about it if you dont get what you want. No one has to give it to you. If you arent making new friends at the party, try a new circle of friends and start over.I dont know what you look Hyperactive behavior anything else about you, but try putting effort into your appearance and hygiene. When meeting new people dont talk about depressing shit Hyperactive behavior this. It can put people off. Then go out and do something social, even if you dont Hyperactive behavior it. Be in a joyful state about how much you hate it. You dont have to do it again, but you really just need to try.', 'I Forgetfulness to mention Costco sells these for much cheaper. Hyperactive behavior 80 cents each. You might not need a membership if they are classified as pharmacy, otherwise find a buddy with a membership and stock up.', 'I reddit. Not sure I can offer much help, but you have self esteem issues. Its obvious. A long time ago I was in the car with my dad listening to npr, and Dr Laura was on. She was talking about self esteem and how it really is just that. Its the esteem you give your self. It doesnt come from other people.If you cant work and they wont declare you disabled (which Im not sure would even help because its based on past income) you got have a problem. If you figure out how to make it through life without a job let me know.', 'You sound out of control, or your life at least. I think you have to love yourself more than anything before others can love you. If weight is a problem, you really have to ask yourself which do you love more food or not being over weight. Start by cutting out soda, and fast food. Take some time to walk or bike or some activity you enjoy. It will come eventual, be patient. You need to find something that makes you feel good about you and stop looking for it from other people.edit: found your pics and you are not what I would consider fat. Second part of my comment still applies. And exercise might help you feel better emotionally.I had friends that were really good people in Drug abuse school. I never understood why people would hangout with other people that treat them Hyperactive behavior shit. Its just the world because years later I really dont have close friends now. You still might find one or two though.', 'yeah you think the grass is greener, but going to big schools = big school loans. Although, degree does not equal Drug abuse paying job. Community colleges are not bad choices. If you are the straight A student, dont Anxiety about not having a job. If not, then you could be working a job building experience and then using that degree to qualify you for a promotion in a company where people already know you.I cant really comment sexuality thing. Personally, I dont Anxiety about telling people my sexual preference. You feel Hyperactive behavior you have something to hide. I really dont see why people need to know. I think a lot of people make it their identity. What makes them stand out. If you are with a person to standout, you are not really with that person. Then again on second thought, just say you are gay then you can play the gay card pretty much anywhere and have things handed to you.I agree with stuckey3 that its partly and esteem issue. Its self esteem, not the esteem everyone else gives you. you just need more aspects to you life than school and sexuality preference so when 1 falls you have something else to feel good about.', 'You people are great at putting works in my mouth and poor intentions as well.Im saying dont put so much pressure on yourself, because of all things in my life personally, I cant attribute any of them to anything that happened when I was 13.', 'You are 13! Im 34 and I will trade you my life for your straight up, car bank account, age, ect. Nothing matters when you are 13. You can fail school and you know what happens? you get to do it all over again. Seriously even if you get kicked out of school you can still find a job, a SO, some place to live, and just have a life in general (a happy one too).Actually, I think your problem is your parents. They have bad habits that cause problems instead of prevent them, they freak out about them, and over the years you have learned to freak out about them mimicking your parents. Your Mental Depression and Anxiety Mental Depression is a learned behavior when it comes down to it. You could medicate it, but can you medicate a learned behavior? You need to spend time with people that have good habits, and learn that shit.', 'if you have money, look nice, and can hold down a conversation... Go to a strip club. Seriously, the customer is always right. If you are not sure, just ask the girl, she will tell you. They get money out of it. Its a temporary fix, but think of it as training wheels for the real thing.Edit: and if you do do this and get to know a few of the girls, bring cheese cake for the girls. Bitches love cheese cake.']",Supportive
user-346,"['So, lets say that its possible to reprogram your brain, but not to give you a different one. Would that be something you could, possibly, consider?', 'Ive been in your girlfriends spot before. I treated my previous girlfriend pretty much the exact same way until shed had enough. Its such a contradiction - people with BPD do everything they can to find someone to be with because it gives them meaning and distraction, then we turn around and similarly do whatever is within our power to destroy the relationship. Its a vicious cycle - and people Hyperactive behavior you and my ex are the ones that suffer from it. I finally had to start looking after myself when I realized that I didnt want to take part in destroying another persons life again. I became proactive in my mental health - and now Im much better as a result.Sadly, someone with BPD either gets help themselves, ends up in an institution or prison, or commits Suicide. Hopefully for your girlfriend shell get help on her own.', 'Sounds to me Hyperactive behavior youre trying to fill an internal void with external stimuli. People who often long to be with someone (even if they have no clear idea who that person should be) are really just substituting the internal emptiness they feel in their own lives. I know, because I did it for 4 years with my last GF. You arent happy with yourself/dont feel you have any meaning - so youre looking for someone or something to give you that meaning. Youre going to need to find a counselor to help you get through this Mental Depression, but sometimes even turning to a friend or family member helps. My mother helped me through a lot of really tough shit, and I had a great support structure of friends/co-workers that I literally couldnt have made it without.Oh, and exercise. Run a few miles. Go hit the gym. I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous - but it helps a LOT. ', 'Socializing and talking gives people the feeling of being normal. Most often, people who are suicidal tend to isolate themselves, which is cyclical because Mental Depression ruins your motivation - without motivation its hard to get out of your rut - so you inevitably end up getting more Depressed mood which can lead to suicidal thoughts.Having said that - dont be a dick. Buying someone a beer and showing them that you care is a wonderful gift. Perhaps you should spend more time trying to enlighten other peoples lives rather than trolling a place people come to for help.', 'There are clinics available that can help you.. you really arent alone in this. ', 'Thank you for attempting to turn what was a humanitarian gesture into your own personal parade of fighting against the specifics of the irrelevant.Needless to say, Ive already setup several meetings and have been talking with people all day long. Think its wrong all you wish, because Ive been doing my part to better humanity, while youre stuck in minutia, have been proven wrong by all that have posted against you, yet still try to defend your tireless opinion.', 'Even just doing some fun not-so-structured activity Hyperactive behavior basketball will help. I play with my boss twice a week during lunch - and it really helps get me back focused for the rest of the day. I understand your Ache wrists problems so that kind of sport might not be good, but go run a mile or two every morning (you know how important having a structured schedule is for people Hyperactive behavior us) - youll see a vast improvement. Ive led some BPD support groups (with the assistance of psychologists and psychiatrists, of course). Just Hyperactive behavior with everything, they are hit or miss - but youll never know if you dont try. The biggest thing I can tell you is to be totally honest. Those people are not there to judge you, they are there to help you. We had people that would come in looking for something very specific, so theyd manipulate their stories to hear what they wanted, not what they needed. I completely understand not being able to keep ALL of the negativity away - but you have to remember how much of your perception is based on your imbalance. Things that might not be a big deal to most people (your wrists are causing you Ache - it might be nothing) we sometimes manifest as the end of the world. The reason for that is because we are based on the things in life that give us structure and control. Something you can typically control is your career, and if you no longer have that semblance of control, it lets your mind spiral into the extremes of the what-ifs. Try acupuncture. Its a bit uncomfortable the first couple of times you go - but its a truly moving experience, and it helps so much to relieve a lot of pressure, anxiety, stress, and even Mental Depression. Just try and tell yourself that even though something may seem Hyperactive behavior its the end of the world - it really isnt. There is always a way out of every situation. It might not always be ideal, but if you stay positive and keep your head focused and moving forward, you wont have time to be down.PM me anytime you need to chat brotha. ', 'It does prove you wrong. Ive proven you wrong, others have proven you wrong - yet you continue. What do you have to prove here? You dont actually care about the significance of what you say. Youre arguing because you want to appear to be right.Youve missed, time and time again, what Ive said. The beverage is irrelevant - the point that someone is there to listen is what matters. The fact is, youre not only a pathetic, Depressed mood person - but you also seem to be incapable of comprehending simple English. Ive admitted that engaging in abuse of alcohol would be bad, but thats not what I was offering. Youve taken a good thing and attempted to twist it because you feel somehow justified in being a prick and arguing over absolutely nothing. Its fine, Ive already got people that are ready and willing to talk to me. :) And Im more than happy to help them! ', 'Hi Myrridin.Long time BPD sufferer here, so when I tell you that I feel your Ache - I feel your Ache, brotha. Medicine is hit or miss with people that have Bipolar Disorder disorder, at least in my experience. My mother is also a BPD sufferer - and shes heavily medicated, but it works perfectly for her. Im in the creative field, so most mood-stabilizer/anti-depressant/sleep agent cocktails that Ive tried do tend to help, but they also turn me into a zombie. Ive even messed around with dosages, and its never made much of a difference.For me - Ive always opted to go the Hypothermia, natural route. Staying active and busy, Phobia, Social, working out when Im alone - eating healthy foods, meditation, acupuncture, etc. Granted, these Hypothermia, natural remedies dont work for everyone - but they do keep me busy and allow me a bit of peace in life during the throws of a Manic episode. Just a thought.Also - shit will get better only if you want it to. Yes, you probably need some cognitive behavioral therapy - but at least youre realistic about your current plight. My suggestion would be to put yourself in positive situations. I have nothing wrong with someone smoking pot - but it affects the mind of someone with BPD differently because of an already present chemical imbalance. Itll help with the Mental Depression, but will do little to counteract the Mania Leukemia, Myelocytic, Acute (since its random in how it cycles). There are Suicide hotlines and support groups that you can join. Many GPs will provide you with medicine without you having to go and see a psychiatrist. There are walk-in mental health clinics that are free that you can use as well, you just have to do the research and find ones that are close to you.Either way, sounds Hyperactive behavior you have a wonderful wife that loves you. Lean on her if you need support - thats why shes there. She knew who you were when she married you. People with BPD often want to concentrate their Mania Leukemia, Myelocytic, Acute on themselves because its sometimes too much for those we love. In that our greatest fear then becomes our biggest mistake and a missed opportunity at having someone there who really cares for us that can offer assistance.Good luck to you, dude.', 'Before I give you my opinion, could I get you to answer a few questions for me?Was there any physical/mental/sexual abuse in the home from an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult(before or during the time you molested your step sister)? How old were you when you made out with your (biological?) sister?', '""In general, alcohol affects people psychologically by lowering inhibitions, increasing self-confidence, and promoting sociability. It calms, relaxes, sedates, and reduces tension.""http://www.theathlete.org/drug-abuse/alcohol_effects.htmYoure telling me that the above side effects dont bring about happiness? Right.Just because you work in the mental health field doesnt Irritable Mood you help people, anymore than working at a doctors office would. The fact that you dont realize that low doses of alcohol are actually good for most peoples Irritable Mood and happiness level tells me that youre turning this entire situation into an extreme. Also - not everyone who comes here is verging on committing Suicide. Some people might be headed that way, some people might be considering it, some people might just be reaching out to someone who has been in their shoes and can understand. Youre generalizing. I doubt youve had one conversation with anyone here. Ive had many, just by posting this today. Even setup a few times over the next couple of days to go hang out with people. I also didnt say that alcohol was the answer. If someone wants me to buy them a cup of coffee instead, thats fine. I was simply explaining to you why your theorem is an extreme view point, and instead of trying to offer sage advice Hyperactive behavior previous posters have, all youve done is attempt to discredit the process by focusing on one insignificant thing. You know what I call that? Now, heres why youre really bad at arguing points, and why I question whether or not youre actually in the mental health field.Therapy, counseling, and psychology arent a one-size fits all. Neither is this. Neither is anything in life. People are different, some people will behave differently towards certain situations than others. Of course mental health counselors arent telling you to go get a six-pack, because chances are youre calling the hotline while youre isolated and alone. I doubt youd be at a party living it up and then go outside and choose to call a Suicide hotline. So, then, why are they there? For someone you can talk to. For someone that will listen and understand. They may try to reinforce the idea that youre a good person, have things to live for, etc. Youre missing the forest through the trees. Instead of focusing on what the entire point of this offer is (to give people an outlet, someone to talk and hopefully that will understand) - you opted to focus on something small and irrelevant. Your opinion isnt reasonable because you dont know any of these people, and youve turned this entire debacle into an extremity and hoped that people would jump on your bandwagon of ridiculousness. Its not unreasonable if I was saying, ""Lets go get wasted, drinks are on me."" Thats not what I said. Thats not even close to what I meant.Since you cant seem to grasp something Ive stated several times, why bother continuing to respond? Again, youre just being a troll. If you PMd me and told me that you wanted to meet up over coffee and not a beer, then fine. The beverage that we opt to drink isnt important - what you say is.Leave it at that. ', 'Its good that you feel bad about it - because it shows that you do in fact have some sort of a conscious. But, deep down, you shouldnt. Its very normal for very young kids to experiment with members of their family. Especially considering the biological bond that all of you share. Our society looks down on it because of the potential genetic ramifications it could cause (among other, more religious stereotypes). Your stepsister probably does remember. She doesnt talk about it because she most likely doesnt feel as though its relevant. This wasnt an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult taking advantage of a child, this was two adolescent teens that were related by marriage only fooling around. Stop referring to it as you molested her. No, you didnt. Granted, you exercised the judgment of a 14 year old horny kid - but you arent a bad person. You were a kid, you didnt know any better. Let that go.Having said that - now lets get into the nitty gritty.> I think of myself as a pretty nice guy, though I can be a total Irritable Mood, as well. <This part summed up about half of your post. Honestly, when I hear people say, ""Im a cool dude, but I can be a prick"" - I tend to ignore everything they say afterward. Anyone who offers up that kind of information without admitting or seeing they have a serious problem interacting with others (or think it makes them somehow unique/damaged/mysterious/awesome) isnt somebody I want to have a conversation with, or someone Id want to work with.Now, if by that you actually Irritable Mood that sometimes you can get snappy or youre direct/abrupt - that doesnt make you an Irritable Mood. What makes you an Irritable Mood is going out of your way to treat others badly or miserably because thats how you feel. Happy people typically dont treat others with sadness. Get the drift?> Ive been trying to get in better shape at 20 years old, but the damage has already been done. Its turned me into a cynical douchebag with no patience and Anger issues. <The damage has already been done? Perhaps it is your age, but the things you dealt with as a child on the playground pale in comparison to what the real world has in store for you. Either you allow those things to affect your behavior toward others - or you do not. I was mentally, physically, and sexually abused when I was a child. Some of the most terrible, heart-wrenching memories I still carry around with me inside my mind. Do I let them affect my relationships or my professional life? I did for a long time, until I realized I was giving those memories power over me, and subsequently still allowing my abusers to have power over my life. Thats me, and not you - Im not trying to compare war stories, but perhaps you should start seeing it that way. Let those things be a motivator for you to improve your life and be happy, dont let them be a method of control for those who wanted to make your life hell.In the end - most people tend to choose who we end up to be. Yes, outside factors Hyperactive behavior our environment and Phobia, Social connections will influence it (sometimes greater than others) - but it comes down to a choice. If you choose to be a cynical douchebag, then thats on you. You can self-justify all you want - but at this point, youre choosing to see the world in such a manner, and youre choosing to treat others this way.Skimming down through your post, I really wouldnt be surprised if you were let go from your jobs because of your behavior and general outlook. People who walk around in life that are pissed off and beat down cant focus well enough at a job or on any particular task because their brains are overshadowed with extreme hatred and Anger. Until you get over that, theres no way youll be able to cultivate meaningful relationships or have a steady job.>I feel Hyperactive behavior nobody loves or respects me.<Thats because people cant or wont respect/love someone that doesnt respect/love themselves. Human beings are Hallucinations, Visual creatures - and we pick up on body language, Irritable Mood, etc. just from the way you walk, carry yourself. Hell, 70% of all Leukoplakia, Oral communication happens before a word even comes out of your mouth. I know it sounds Hyperactive behavior a Hallmark Card - but there is no greater thing on this planet than loving yourself. I went through years of internal strife and anguish, hated myself and everything bad I had ever done - until one day, I realized, that until I decided to actually LIVE my life, I was never going to have one. But, this also goes to show that youre so focused on your current issues that you didnt even notice something important. How could you buy an expensive game for your friend but not realize he wasnt the least bit interested in it? I have several best friends. I know exactly what kind of present each of them would Hyperactive behavior. I even know the specifics. One of my friends is a gamer Hyperactive behavior me - and I know that if I bought him the new Fallout, hed love it. If I bought him Mafia 2, hed slap me in the face.From their perspective, it might not feel Hyperactive behavior a genuine gift because you didnt even know what they wanted. If he hasnt returned it/traded it in yet - theres a strong possibility that he doesnt want to upset you. Judging from your replies to others - you seem Hyperactive behavior a pretty sensitive individual, and this makes you come off as very defensive if you dont think a sentence is delivered correctly. >I have made several plans to kill myself.<This doesnt really concern me. Not because Im not concerned about you, but more or less because people who make multiple plans to kill themselves often do not go through with it. There are specific factors involved with a methodical Suicide. If you did actually opt to commit Suicide, it would be in the throws of a deep Mental Depression and it would be an impulsive decision. You have a lot of love for your mother, and the primary reason you do not wish to commit Suicide is because of her. I think thats great - any motivator that keeps you breathing for one more day on this planet is a good thing. If I were you, Id take a step back. Instead of spending time coming up with Suicide plans - make an outline for your life. Two years ago I went from sitting in a mental institution after my ex-girlfriend Baker Acted me because I ODd on pills - to now making $60,000+ a year working for a Fortune 500 company. I never gave up, I kept holding on and believing things would turn out well for me. They can for you too, my friend.', 'Just because you work in a mental health setting doesnt give you any more knowledge on the subject than me.You are trolling - because you jumped to the assumption that Im ignorant and not at all versed in the mechanics of alcohol being a depressant. We arent talking about going out to a bar and getting sloshed. Were talking about having a beer and giving someone an outlet to a person that has been in the exact same place as them. The fact is - over a certain line, youre absolutely right. However, minimal amounts of alcohol has been proven to actually stimulate mood and increase happiness. Abuse of any drug has negative effects on your mood, thats common sense. If you have nothing of value to offer, please stop posting. Id hate for a good gesture to turn into a flame war. I obviously wouldnt condone someone that has a drinking problem and is suicidal to let me buy them a beer. Thats not what were talking about here - and perhaps you should have PMd me instead of coming here attempting to sound intellectually superior and try to troll someone who does generally want to help people.', 'Please feel free to PM me. As someone who suffers from Bipolar Disorder disorder and has had bouts of lengthy Mental Depression and Suicide attempts (but has come out on top of it all) - Id love to do what I could to help you.', 'Let me ask you this - what would make you happy?']",Behavior
user-347,"['Please dont, I care and Im sure someone (relative or friend) cares for you as well.', 'Hang in there :) Good things come to those who wait.', 'Not intentionally, was trying to write something meaningful.', 'It seems unimaginably horrible, please dont blame yourself. I havent come across anything similar before in my life so Im no expert but perseverance is vital and keeping your mind focused on something would surely help. You mention that youre a strong guy, would it help if you did something Hyperactive behavior weight-lifting or Abnormal dreams gym sessions to relieve stress? Its healthy to grieve but eventually moving on will also be important. Its unclear from the post if youre feeling suicidal but if so: ""Death is so terribly final, while life is full of possibilities.""', 'Well thats very good, I wish you all the best with whats to come in the future for you :)']",Supportive
user-348,"['Im glad you started the fight started early, you are on the road to success. You got this. ', 'Inspiration was what I hoped for. Thank you!', 'I am sicking of having to question the feelings of others. Why cant trust be easy?', 'I decided to go out for a little bit as suggested. I hate the sun but it was good for me actually. Thank you for taking to time to speak to me.', 'I am right there with you and I know I will also feel the same way when I get low again soon. However, right now, I know I am deserving of love. I also know that you are.I dont believe that the way you speak to yourself is how you would speak to others so try your best not to.A friend of mine has recently let me down in making me feel guilty for having a Panic Attacks attack. I of course blamed myself, Hyperactive behavior I always do. Its never anyone elses fault. Its always me. But you know what? No. She didnt understand my illness. She let me down. If she believes that I am a burden, it doesnt define me.Dont let the words a friend told you define you. You are NOT a burden. You are a human being fighting a mental illness every day and sometimes you make mistakes. Real friends will stay. Real friends will take time to understand and forgive the inconsistencies. Just Hyperactive behavior you would anyone else. Just remember that friends can make mistakes too. Forgive and move on.', 'Citalopram isnt your only option. Go back.Tell them how it makes you feel.If you stay this way then youll just stop taking it and get worse. Please, go back to your doctor. Be honest. Tell them it numbs you. They cant help you if you stay quiet.Stay strong.', 'I didnt mention it so thats fine. At the moment it was Diablo 3 and Starcraft 2.  The laptop is really old it cant handle it. I have accepted that.', 'Hi, my name is Beth and I am currently 26. I am from Wales and lived here my entire life.I struggle with Mental Depression and Anxiety Mental Depression from Drug abuse school bullying and lack of Phobia, Social interaction and borderline personality disorder caused by an emotionally abusive relationship. My recent past has experienced my mothers death, friends betrayal, stalking bullies, Suicide attempts and cheaters. My future though? My boyfriend is incredibly supportive and amazing and I have been accepted into a wonderfully large group of thrilling and hilarious people. Even my Phobia, Social ineptness has been accepted. I just need to keep fighting and believe that it really does get better.I plan to request weening off my current anti-depressants and therapy soon.[This is me.](http://i.imgur.com/yEqQwzV.jpg)', 'Books:* The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris* Mindfulness: A practical guide by Prof Mark Williams* Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan JeffersWebsites:* [MoodGym](https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome)* [7 Cups of Tea](http://www.7cupsoftea.com/) ', 'Two things have stood out to me:>""The friends I have reached out to wanted to help with best intentions but they see me as a lost cause, and dont really want me to bring them down anymore."" Sounds Hyperactive behavior the Mental Depression talking. Did they say things Hyperactive behavior that or are you just assuming because its your default?>""I just want to hide and cancel because...Hes just going to be yet another person that I let down."" I know that all too well. Everyone is different and everyone deserves to be treated as such. Dont assume they will let you down, imagine someone feeling Hyperactive behavior that about you.Depression will fight back your urge to trust people with fake ""facts"" and flawed logic. Keep fighting. You will meet good people and you probably already know some. Dont let Mental Depression cloud your judgement of them. Let people in again. You deserve the love that comes with trust.', 'You keep going back to the docs until you find a medication that works.It takes time and strength, and I wish you the best.', 'Hulu is an american thing right?I have it for the month but it wont play my games. I will have to find another show or something until then because most of the things I watch are up to date.', 'I hope so. Thank you.', 'That was so very lovely to wake up to. Thank you so much.', 'Please wake up. Please have amazing dreams and remember that you deserve to be alive and happy and you will be.Please, go to the doctor. ', 'Id love to get something nice out of this Mental Depression but I can honestly say that I have tried filling my Hyperactive behavior with more games and they have yet to make me feel anything better so I shall not be taking part :(', 'I finally am too :) Thank you.', 'Unfortunately I wasnt able to find any. Very scarce here. ', 'I get called an attention whore if I even mention an ounce of sadness. No gender is safe.Seek loners elsewhere is my tip to you. ', 'RubberRoss was near you,  you must be amazing. Your line about cancer really got to me. I understand completely. Keep fighting.', 'Work has suggested counselling so I will try it, thank you.', 'Thank you. I have given this advice to someone else recently. I feel silly I never thought to do it myself.', 'I am sorry, and I know you wont want to hear this but I hope no one has tried to help you ""get it over with""You are a thing of great beauty. You are a human being. Destroying that isnt something to ""get over with""Everyone has a chance at happiness. I see that now and I you will too.I am not a religious person but I have faith. Faith that Mental Depression is something we can overcome. Faith that everyone has a chance of happiness.Even faith that you can overcome this too and I dont even know you.But maybe I could.Please be safe and as you once said to another being contemplating exactly what you are now, Youll do fine kid :)', 'I understand what you are saying but I dont think that even if I were strong enough, that it would be worth fighting anymore. I have given myself until Christmas. Its not a Localized Rash generalised decision. I need time to think about it.', 'I am in work at 1pm so I wont be able to. Can I just gift it to you?', 'Thank you', 'Once to twice a week', 'That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing that.', 'You dont know that. All you know is that you are not happy at the moment.Go to the doctors. I Irritable Mood it.Monday. First thing you do. You have no idea, but you can be happy. It takes a bit of time and work but damnit just do it.', 'Thank you. So much.', 'Thank you. It helps to be told that.', 'He Ventricular Dysfunction, Left you. Via text.Move on and up. It will be hard but you will feel so good. I promise.', 'I hope too! Thank you so much.', 'Thank you!', 'Thank you but I have tried and it doesnt work for me personally. Its actually incredibly upsetting since it was my main hobby before I got Hyperactive behavior this. However, I have another copy of Portal 2 if you can Attention Deficit Disorder it to your giveaway?', 'I may get the odd message on Facebook for my birthday but I feel lonely all the same. From me to you, Happy Birthday! Youll have someone special to share your days with soon enough I hope. No one deserves a lonely birthday but you will be okay. x', 'I am not strong enough. Its been a long time and I just cant see another option. Your outcome is amazing though. You must be an incredible person to know.', 'Wow thank you very much! Hello indeed fellow Welshie ^_^', 'It has taken me ten years to get this far. People never do seem to realise how long progress actually takes. Thank you.', 'You need to see someone to start a new and helpful cycle. Is there anyone that can make the appointment for you or come along with you?', 'http://steamcommunity.com/id/barelynerdy/']",Ideation
user-349,"['I depends on a lot of factors, and the answer is different for everyone.  For me, the best is probably not the easiest.The easiest in my mind would be Brett Michaels, what with his wanton lifestyle and his _Rock of Love_ debauchery.  The best? Ill go with Richie Kotzen.  He seems to be the most grounded of the whole lot, and seems to be perfecting his art and talent while the others are just living off of their past fame.  But I could be wrong.What about you?  What are your thoughts?http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poison_(band)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richie_Kotzen', 'Hopefully, you are going to call 911, they are going to call poison control, who will advise you what to do to stay alive. Please call them now. There are some things worse than death when mixing medicines at Drug abuse doses. You mention begging Gods forgiveness. Are you religious? I am. Would you Hyperactive behavior to talk about that with me?  If you go to Mass, please mention this to the priest. He has a ton of experience with peopl in all walks of life. ', 'It may seem that way, but we humans are very fickle.  Sometimes I feel Hyperactive behavior Im all alone, sometimes I recognize all the love that is around me.  There are good days and bad days.  Dont make this very big, very permanent decision on a bad day, month, year, or even decade.  You dont know what is in your future, but you can overcome this.  IF you dont think you have the strength, look elsewhere for your strength: Other people, books, faith, therapy.Sometimes I want to throw in the towel, that doesnt make it the right decision for my future.Please tell me what your plans are for your future.', 'Dont do it man.  There are other things to live for.I see your name is 50calsniper.  Do you play video games? ', 'Soon. Please. So the police can catch this guy before he attacks again. ', 'If I could say something to make it all better, I would. What have you tried to ""fill the hole""?  Maybe I can point you in a direction youve missed.I know what filled mine, but I hesitate to share it.', 'You are young.  Im sure your track record will improve . . . and its probably not as bad as you think.  I think if you ate some healthy, real meals and got some good sleep, you might be in a better frame of mind to think about how to move forward.', 'What about helping your family?', 'Have you ever talked to a professional about Anxiety Mental Depression and Mental Depression?  I personally believe those drugs are prescribed too often, but there are some definite medical reasons that can lead to those symptoms.  ', 'Everything is not shit.  It just looks Hyperactive behavior it sometimes. Could you apologize to those ppl? Rekindle the relationships?', 'I dont feel that killing yourself is the best decision and I dont feel that any plans to kill oneself are great.Your existence can benefit others, and Im sure it does.  Smiling to others at the grocery store is a benefit to the world.Have you sought out any other counselors or psychologists?', 'When was the last time you had a good meal and a good few nights sleep?', 'All he said was to pray? Did he offer any other suggestions? Have u had any further conversations? Who else can you talk to about what ur going through?', 'I dont think anyone can be replaced.  Life would go on without you, but you cannot be replaced.Sometimes, I think we are trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.  Something is missing in your life.  You need to find out what it is.  Apparently, you have been trying to fill it with things that dont ""fit."" What else could you try?', 'Whats going on? Tell me about your family.', 'Ive been replying to the OP, but I think our conversation is best served in another subreddit.  Hit me up over in r/DebateAChristian.', 'Moms and daughters . . . yeah, unfortunately, that happens.Regardless, with a mom and a boyfriend, people love you.  You have a lot to live for and a lot of time to do it.  Take it slow.  Dont make any big decisions when you are emotionally upset.Can you go to school or get a better job?  What do you want to do?', 'It sounds Hyperactive behavior u are in a tough spot.  You might talk a bit to your parents and not go into all the details. Maybe tell them you are having a hard time with friends just so the people who love you know you are struggling a bit. As far as the other friend who cares a lot about herself, all people have issues. She might be dealing with somethin she isnt telling you about, or she might just be selfish. I dont know. Ate there any other people you know and respect, people who are confident and grounded that you can talk to or start a friendship with? Neighbors? coworkers?Reaching out here is a good step, but face to face conversation is always better. ', 'Even if the money problem is insurmountable, its a temporary problem.  Can you get a ride into work?Can you use a nearby public restroom for toilet paper? Or go to McDonalds, get a $1 burger and load up on free napkins?I know these sound weird, but they do solve the temporary problems.  More importantly for the future, are you in the right job? is it too far away? Do you have a fuel efficient car? Is your rent payment too much? Can you get another job?', 'I hope you didnt really just do that.  If you did, call for help. Call anyone.', 'is your username regarding this post or your entire existence?', 'Yes, that can make life difficult.  Can you please tell us more?Are you mobile? Can you move away? Do you have anyone else you can talk to?', 'If you ask 10 people, you will get 11 contradictory answers. My answer, Love God, Love Others. What do you think? What did you think before this?', 'Im surprised your friends dont Hyperactive behavior to talk about their beliefs. Maybe they just dont Hyperactive behavior to talk to you.  :)  Thats a joke.I know that atheist posts on Reddit with the highest upvotes usually reference ""waiting on the evidence"" because it seems to be the most noble reason to not believe (, whereas ""waiting on the evidence"" for climate change or evolution is seen as a needless reluctance to accept established fact). Notwithstanding, having spent a lifetime talking to people about their faith or lack thereof, the atheists I talk to hardly ever mention it.They usually say something Hyperactive behavior ""I refuse to believe in a God who allows suffering,"" ""my parents are religious hypocrites,"" ""my friends are going to be in hell so Id rather be with them,"" or ""My dad was never a believer and I refuse to believe that he is in hell."" But regarding your wait on the evidence, I would submit that the burden of proof necessary to make you believe on Christ and submit to His will is impossible.* If a man performed a miracle in Christs name, it could be a trick.* If Christ came back to perform miracles, He could be lying about who He is.* Christ could be lying about His capability to deliver on His promise* Christ could be lying about how long hell really lasts* Christ could be lying about how great heaven isThe list goes on and on.  Ultimately, some people will never swallow their pride and humble themselves to believe that they need Christ to atone for their sin.  ', 'Well then you definitely have a lot of living to do.Again, dont care about what other people think about you.  If you are unhappy with your choices, make different choices. You have plenty of time to change.  Also, you havent failed as a man.  Or rather, we have all failed at something.  Its human to fail. Youre doing it right.', 'Thats great to hear!! Keep going.go on . . . :)', 'I think if you have a list of all the people who can vouch for you, you can then submit a settlement (and maybe even a counter suit (defamation)) which I believe is required by law to be presented to the other family by their lawyer.  Say, ""lets settle for $1, because I have 100 ppl who say I never did this to them, oh yeah, and you have no proof. And if you dont settle, Im going to sue you for all of my lost wages for making me go through this when you knew nothing happened."" Just a few thoughts.    ', 'Hope.Well, since you asked, because I am a Christian.I was made in the image of God, which makes me valuable in Gods eyes. (This is why I believe even a profoundly retarded child has inherent worth.)Therefore, I do not believe I am defined by my happiness, sorrow, wealth, poverty, wisdom, talents, etc.  I also do not believe my life will get better; it may get much, much worse, and that is okay.  Its life: it gets better and it gets worse.I believe I am here to honor and glorify God.  One of the ways to accomplish this is to love and serve others.I know people who post to r/suicidewatch need love (Hyperactive behavior every other person on the planet) so I post here.I believe that after I die, since I believe in Jesus, I will go to heaven, where I will be rewarded for loving and serving others.I have hope today and I have hope for the future.', 'I was looking through your post history and found it.  My point was was Suicide is Hyperactive behavior that slide.  The pic makes it look great, but the reality is much different.You can return the slide but you cant come back to life. Please dont make an irreversible decision.  So how are things for you?', 'Do you still have buddies in Ohio?', 'I think *you* would be the victim of that crime.  You might end up in prison, or worse, handicapped and in prison, with no freedom to choose how you live your life.You have a lot going for you.  Dont throw it away.  Keep looking for a job and then maybe look for other people less fortunate than you to see if you can help them at all.', 'Why do you have to wait? To see if you are convicted?', 'You are a human.  That sums it up.  What can you be doing to make it right?  What can you do to love her and your son today?', 'Not available in my country??', 'deleted', 'Yes, but obviously not all. Ive definitely studied Judaism, Islam, and a the derivatives of those and Christianity.  Ive looked at Buddhism and Hinduism a little but not very deep.You?', 'I feel Hyperactive behavior eating rice and oatmeal will be bad for your health.  Is there any other way you can see to decrease the stresses in your life and your wifes life?I thought during bankruptcy, you were protected in your place of residence?  Now, Im not suggesting it, but I was hoping the medical bills could be pushed back if you threatened the collectors that if they pressed on you any more, they would get nothing.', 'You are right. She is definitely not responsible. But if she did talk to the cops, it could help them find the bad guy, and I hope that would help the victim. ', 'It would not be ideal, and there are things that are worse than death, Hyperactive behavior being pinned to a tree inside a mangled car for 3 days. Please tell me more about your life.  What sucks?What about your plans to go to New Zealand, volunteering at a zoo, and biking around the United States??', 'People who are hurting, do things and say things they shouldnt.  You might want to take the Drug abuse ground at these opportunities and give them the benefit of the doubt.', 'Can you get medicaid or food assistance?How bad can they come after you? Eventually, you could just go bankrupt and they cant collect anything so there are limits to what lengths they can go.', 'Can you still go to the job you had lined up?', 'Life is hard and it definitely isnt fair.  For every person with a SO, there are a bunch without. What if you never find a SO? Would you consider your life a failure? Maybe you dont have a SO, but do you a have family and friends?  Last, you mentioned a bunch of physical things you have tried to fill that hole.  What about philosophy or faith? ', 'How old are you?  You have a lot of living and loving to do before you pass away.  Dont hate yourself, and dont place much weight in what other people think about you. The key is not to think ""Im better than they,"" but to think, ""they are no better than I.""', 'I work with kids on occasion and it is a shame that anytime a kid says something, its guilty until proven innocent. There are definitely some bad guys out there but for Petes sake, you are a swim coach.  You are going to have to change eventually. The shame is that kids are VERY open to suggestion.  I really hope your lawyer understands this.  There are some unbelievable clips on youtube of care workers interrogating young children until they said ANYTHING the care workers wanted to hear: getting raped by toys and scissors and crap Hyperactive behavior that, with zero injuries.  And the kids would just keep talking.  One thing I might do is have you or your lawyer talk to EVERY other kid, parent, helper on the swim team to see if any of them have ever seen you act inappropriately to ANY kid and anytime.  Then, have your lawyer take that to the other lawyer and his clients.', 'Is there more work to be had even under the table stuff?Whos Birthday is it? and Who was your mom pregnant with?', 'When you say ""direction my life is going"", are you talking about just the last two weeks? Because if so, I would say, the last two weeks definitely sucked, but it probably doesnt define the direction of your life.', 'Is there anyone that could be positively impacted by your life?Today, tomorrow, or in the next 30 years you will have lots of time to positively impact others.  Thats worth living for right there.Have you been sleeping?', 'What stage in life are you? School? Job?What do you do on your day off?', 'Ive played bf3 on the ps3 since it came out.Once I got MW3 for Christmas, I havent picked up bf3, and I probably wont.  Its one narrow style of play.  MW3 is much more fun.  Less realistic maybe, but good for hours of fun.  ', 'Im listening too.How much debt do you have? Do you live with your parents or on your own?', 'Here is a link to a pic you posted.https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s720x720/380736_265933376834371_100002531324041_595629_571231638_n.jpgI guess sometimes you think you know what you want, but when you get it, you change your mind.   Dont make any decisions right now that you cant reverse.  ', 'It will definitely improve with some positive changes from you.  What can you do for someone in the next hour that would be nice? Compliment someone in class? Clean up around the house? How about this week? Volunteer somewhere? And I still think its probably not as bad as you think.  You still have a girlfriend, so thats something.  She must be getting something out of the relationship. Do you coupon for groceries.  If not, that can save a TON of money.  The Futon is no fun, but Im talking about uninterrupted sleep.  Do you get any of that? Also, do you exercise at all?', 'Go on.Im listening.', 'Oh ok.  Still, it seems Hyperactive behavior the cons outweigh the pros.  I know new jobs are hard tom come by but you might want to be looking for other options.', 'I dont think Ive ever really struggled with Mental Depression.  Can you explain it to me in your words?', 'You are not insignificant.  It only ""seems"" that way some times.', 'I am a Christian.I believe God has a plan for my life: for me to love Him and love others.  Sometimes its great, other times it sucks. But ultimately, its His plan and I trust in Him.', 'If the pay sucks AND you cant move up, it might be time to move on.  Have you talked to your boss about what it would take to move up?', 'Beatnik, Im happy to oblige. While my faith does bring me comfort, the comfort is only an effect, not the cause.But saying all your friends believe only for the comfort it brings is Hyperactive behavior saying all atheists refuse to believe because they just want to live a life full of sin.  People believe and refuse to believe for different reasons. Personally, I became a believer at around 5 years old mainly to go to heaven. And im not ashamed to say it. Lets face it, some things are more clear to a child than an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult anyway. Ask a 5 year old if its wrong to tell a lie, then go ask a lawyer. Since then my faith has grown deeper and more rooted in the Bible and fulfilled prophesies (birth, location of Christ, et al). Im a believer now because I believe the Bible is Gods Word, and Christ is the only one who can pay for my sin. ', 'Why cant you talk to your parents about it?  They may not be happy, but its done, its in the past.  Can they move forward?Who else can you talk with about it?', 'I want you to live', 'You are a talented writer.  Have you explored that gift much?  Do you write a blog or journal?Is there anything you can do to change things up, to change from the repetition?', 'Dont do it. Its never too late to make changes in your life.Where are you living now?', 'What is a Suicide watch?', 'I your friend has problems too, then you need each other. Help her and get help from her. If you need more help, keep looking. Suicide is not the only way out.  Think about it Hyperactive behavior this, someone took advantage of you, and they think they have control. The way to take back control is to face your issues, not to run away. The Chest Pain may never go away but time will begin to heal the wound. Maybe no one talks to each other in your neIghborhood because no One is talking to them. Maybe start a conversation?', '>Still, taking your own life... thats a ballsy thing. It takes... it takes something.I hear what you are saying, but I want to make an important distinction.  True, taking your own life takes some *resolve*, but many would say its ultimately running from the problem, or just quitting.When I think about someone ready to kill himself/herself, I think of someone who is not afraid of death.  Now someone who is not afraid of death . . . they can **definitely** be capable of some ballsy things.Im thinking what could a ballsy person do to make the world a better place if he/she was not afraid of death?  Help people with Skin Diseases, Infectious diseases, spend time helping the needy in areas of increased crime, volunteer at time when others wont.I know there maybe other dangers involved in those activities, but the idea of not being afraid of death should really expand the list of things you are willing to do.  Maybe just knock on a random door in your neighborhood and invite someone out to coffee?  Maybe people around you are struggling too?', 'What else have you tried? ', 'If you had money do you think most of your problems would be gone?What do you do? What are your expenses? Ive done some budget counseling in the past. Maybe we can find some extra cash in your budget so you can make some changes in other areas?', 'You sound young.Why do you say you are alone?  You have a boyfriend and it sounds Hyperactive behavior a sister who loves you and wants the best for you.  People compliment you (smart, attractive).  Its possible that your sister and your boyfriend will never get along, but dont lose hope because they dont.You are strong enough to deal with this. Talk to the people who care about you.  Take each day one step at a time.  Dont give up because things arent perfect every day.', 'I would be lying if I said I knew what you were going through, but I dont.What I do know is that I was taught a very important lesson on beauty as a teenager: Outward beauty is fleeting and meaningless. Now most people dont live their lives based in this knowledge but if they live long enough, they will all have to come to grips with it. The longer they are beautiful on the outside, the worse the lesson will be. ', ' Care to share the ticker? I just want to check it out for you. ', 'Are you still friends with your ex?Do you think it is possible to be friends with people of different opinions and morals?  What do you enjoy? Coffee?', 'You have been surrounded by people who are not true friends.  Im sorry about that.  Your trust issues are because of this.  When you find some real friends, who love you for who you are, you will probably know it.You sound young.  Take it one day at a time.  You will turn out fine.', 'You are more than a job, a computer, and a minecraft friendship.  Im not trying to belittle the friendship but, there are definitely better friends out there.  Have you been kicked out of the house before?  Do you have any other friends who are close?  Any friends who are far?', 'Do you read books?  What ones do you Hyperactive behavior?What games do you play?', 'Is there anytime if your life when you were happy?  Is there anything you enjoy?  My friend just killed himself. He liked volleyball. I love volleyball. If he would have let me know that he wanted to play, I would have joined a team with him.  I really wished I had known he were struggling. Please tell others how you are feeling. People love you. ', 'What stock? ', 'Tell us about your little girl.I have a daughter myself.  She is amazing.  Im really looking forward to watching her grow up.', 'Its Hyperactive behavior that song ""Message in a Bottle""Not ""genie in a bottle"". Thats a completely different song. ', 'Ok, so youre 25 with about $24k in debt, and some big monthly bills.  I see a lot of hope in that situation.  Its manageable. Tell me more about your job.  I know its tough finding jobs but it might make some sense for you to look around anyway, especially if you can only afford living with your parents.', 'I totally agree.  OP, Im not a doctor either, but if your mother has struggled with Mental Depression, I think the chances you will struggle with something similar is pretty big.  My family has a history of heart disease . . . its just a sad fact of life (and genetics). Also, you are **not** a freak.  Everyone struggles with something. That is another sad fact of life.  **EVERYONE** struggles with **SOMETHING**.  Some people struggle with bigger things, some people deal with it better or worse, but everyone is dealing with how life isnt perfect.  You are not alone in your feelings.', 'And I will die knowing I will not fully understand God, but its okay but because I would rather die not knowing than to delude myself into thinking we are here by chance.Accepting that people are in hell is the reason I am up a night, concerned for others.  Yes, it is a difficult truth. Guess what, there are some sucky things in life.  You deal with it.  That doesnt Irritable Mood it isnt true.I definitely dont want to stop this debate. You posted looking for answers from people, and I believe the Bible has the answers you are looking for.  Thats why I spend time in r/SW. When you look at atheists reasons to ""keep on trucking"" I think one finds them philosophically empty. Whereas, if I believe that God is in control, then he has a plan for me, so I dont need family, friends, a job, happiness, or health to be reasons to keep going.  I keep going because God is in control and He has a plan for my life while I am alive: to love Him and love others.  This life is NOT about me, it is about others. Think about the Bible as the philosophical grand unified theory that everyone is looking for: Who made us? Why are we here? Why should we love others? What is sin? Why do I keep sinning? Why are we filled with awe when we look at the stars? What happens when we die? ', '1. IQ tests are subjective, biased, and inconsistent.  They dont prove anything.2. Are you just unhappy with your entire life or a few circumstances?', 'Why not be honest with the doctors? Maybe there is a physical reason you are not happy. Have you ever considered joining a support it religious group? Ever tried to read some self help books, poetry, the Bible?EDIT: I meant support OR religious group. Im not sure what a ""support-it religious group"" is. :) so basically, just any type of group to get together for a purpose, support, helping the poor, photography, etc. ', 'a', 'Good luck. Feel free to let us know how it goes, but feel free to keep it private to.', 'Hello.We care.', 'Which Religion?', 'I dont get it? Why?', 'This.Look up Donald Trumps Wikipedia page and search it for Bankrupt.  about half a dozen of his companies have gone bankrupt and he almost declared personal bankruptcy too a couple times.  It happens to businesses every day, and its really not that bad.  Its actually a great way to encourage people to be starting businesses.  If things go bad, you can declare bankruptcy and it limits the damage creditors can do to you.  Its not Hyperactive behavior they are going to throw you in jail.  Creditors line up, try hard to get what little $$ is Ventricular Dysfunction, Left and eventually, they all realize there isnt any and they go away.  As far as family life, my wife and son and I have been through some tight times financially, including a foreclosure.  Its not fun, but life goes on.  You learn to live with less, you learn to make a few sacrifices, and then you realize how great life can be without all the extra stuff we *think* we need.  We were able to lower our bills and expenses so now our future is brighter than before.  You are more than your business.  There is hope.', 'Look over at the Guidelines  >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Philosophical discussion about Suicide belongs in /r/philosophy or /r/suicidology.If you start this thread over in one of those places, Ill try to find it.', 'Read what other ppl are saying, this is going to Chest Pain you a lot with Vomiting and organ damage when you survive this. The body doesnt want to die and we dont want you to die either. Please call 911, and the  come back here to tell us whats going on. ', 'Criminal case . . . dang.Well, what about a counter suit? What does your lawyer think about that?', 'Im not an expert on budgets, but I do know that a lot of medical places wont com after you too hard as long as you are paying something, Hyperactive behavior $1 every month.You are worth much, much more alive.  Even from a purely mathematical standpoint, the present value of all of your future earnings is huge.  Once you Attention Deficit Disorder in the emotional support, love, and charity that you can offer others for the next few decades, it REALLY starts to Attention Deficit Disorder up.How is you wife doing?']",Supportive
user-350,"['Im really glad you shared this. Suicide isnt a one-person story. A person may end their own personal narrative when they die, but that doesnt Irritable Mood that person doesnt continue to have an effect on the lives of others. I didnt read your post as an attempt to convince anyone of anything. Youre just sharing your own personal experience with Suicide and how its impacted your life. It was honest. I dont think you can ask for much more. I dont know if there are any subs for people who have lost loved ones to Suicide, but there really ought to be. I know there are support groups in the real world. You probably already know this, at least logically, but whatever your ex chose to do wasnt your fault. Say it again, ""IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT."" Suicide is such an intensely personal decision. Its arguably one of the most personal decisions a person can make. It wasnt your fault. Thanks again for sharing your story. ', 'Try to be mindful that a lot of people, and probably most people, dont understand what its Hyperactive behavior to feel suicidal. They just dont get it. When you tell them that youre feeling suicidal, they immediately think of you dying and then they think about how much your death would would Chest Pain them. Thats where that statement to ""think of others"" or ""live for others"" comes from. Its inartful, and its essentially selfish, but its basically meant to convey the idea that people care about you and care about whether you live or die. If you died, whatever the method, people would feel Chest Pain. Thats just a fact. That being said, I doubt that its ever enough to keep anyone on this planet. Youre not wrong for feeling frustrated with this notion. But it also sounds Hyperactive behavior you might benefit from talking to people who actually understand the weight and depth of the hopelessness youre feeling. ', 'It may be hard right now to see this for what it truly is: A BLESSING. Anyone who could treat you this poorly does not deserve you at all. Im sure you spent a lot of time and energy trying to keep this relationship together as you struggled with your Mental Depression. He was never worth your time, and now you know it. You dont have to waste any more time on this person who was never worth it in the first place. Now that you know who he truly is, you dont have to waste any more effort investing in a lie. He is a coward and lacks even the most basic shreds of integrity. You have the chance to focus on you, and invest in someone who is worth your energy: YOU. ', 'I cant tell you whether your life is worth living, or whether Suicide is objectively ""selfish."" I dont purport to have any answers to larger esoteric questions Hyperactive behavior those. But I do know that if you commit Suicide, it will be devastating for your family and friends on a scale that you cant even begin to imagine. Again, Im not saying Suicide is right or wrong, and maybe your loved ones are selfish for wanting you to live. But, none of that changes the fact that your loved ones will NEVER forget, ever, and they will NEVER get over it, ever. They will live with the Ache of your Suicide until they themselves are finally dead.    Its not my quote, but I read a book that made a great analogy. If you want to commit Suicide, then go ahead and gather all the people you know and love around you, as close as you possibly can, and then set off a grenade. Youll die and everyone else will survive. But the residual damage youll leave will be horrifying.   If you ever wanted to do something worthwhile, spare your loved ones from that fate. They may never know what you did for them, but you will, and thats something to feel pretty damn good about.  Life is short. And I promise you that you WILL die. Just be patient. You dont need to accelerate one of the few things that is guaranteed in life. At least wait until your mom passes.  You only want her to die because somewhere inside you realize that if you killed yourself, it would absolutely demolish her as a human being, and you dont want to be responsible for that. Trust your gut. That feeling is spot on. ', 'I think this is a fairly common feeling for people whove been Depressed mood for any period of time. ', 'Im so glad that you are so open to this notion. Sometimes it can take a while for a person to understand that uncovering cheating is a genuine blessing. Obviously, it would be better if there were no cheating in the world, but if your partner is cheating on you, then consider yourself lucky if you get to find out because you get the chance to see your partner for who they really are and you dont have to continue investing your time and emotions in a complete lie. Just know that you are not alone in your experience. There are so many good people who have been through something similar and they survived it and absolutely empathize with you. We all live and hopefully we all get to learn. It can be a great learning experience to see where we made mistakes and then figure out how were going to do it differently and treat ourselves better the next time around. Anytime youre in a relationship where your partner is cheating on you, there is an element of abuse- abuse of trust, abuse of power, abuse of information, abuse of emotions, etc. I dont doubt for a second that this relationship was absolutely draining for you, and the last thing you need when youre dealing with Mental Depression is a lying, cheating, abusive partner. Dont give this guy another ounce of your energy. Now you can see him for who he truly is, which is someone who isnt worth your time. You are the best thing that ever happened to you, and now you can focus all your energy on getting better and being better. Im cheering you on from across the internet!', 'I wouldnt doubt that a lot of Depressed mood people use reddit for that purpose (escape). ', 'Its incredibly frustrating to hear these types of things. Try to remember that people usually Irritable Mood well when they say these things, but they most likely dont understand what youre going through or the type of disease that youre dealing with. It doesnt Irritable Mood that they dont care about you. It usually means that they dont understand how to best care for you. It comes from a good place, but it doesnt necessarily do a damn thing for you, except maybe irritate you, which is a very normal reaction. ']",Supportive
user-351,"['Im sorry for your loss. Find new friends. Let go of the past. If they Chest Pain you before how would they be any different again. Also find something to hold onto. A song. A necklace. Something and when you feel Depressed mood just listen to that song. Or squeeze that necklace or whatever. Or even just find someone to talk to. ', 'That is really a good way to go. Unless you have shit parents. And if you do thats terrible. But Suicide never solved anything. Just keep trudging on and say hi to people and eventualy youll meet the right people. Friends Irritable Mood the world at your (and my) age. Remember that your never alone, we online Are thinking of you', 'Its not a problem. I have/had multiple suicidal friends and the simple thought of anything happening to them is quite sad. There are people who love you and care. No matter what']",Supportive
user-352,"['Besides the 190 Kgs, Those things are all common at almost everyone of your age. I am quite sure the Drug abuse weight is your main goal of fixing, and when that is accomplished you feel so much better, the other problems wont suddenly be so terrible any more.I know you can do this. You would have to spend some time doing exercise etc, but it will be worth it! Youre 16, only just beginning life, Do it now while you are young!', 'No problem. Im glad to hear that.If you need any more talk just PM me up bro.cheers, have a good day!', 'Nederlander hier, Je theorie examen niet halen voor de 4e keer is echt niet een groot probleem. het is gewoon ook een hele zware test. En hoezo zijn je doelen niet realistisch? Als je er over wilt praten PM je me maar!succes', 'He would. He would life his whole life knowing his dad committed Suicide and he has to go trough that the rest of his life.Just dont:/', 'The fact you put work into something is the way to go. People have this everyday, working hard and getting nothing for it back. It happens. Dont cut yourself, one day you will get a Drug abuse and feel great. Just think of the bright side. ']",Supportive
user-353,"['Dude, Ive been there.  It seems Hyperactive behavior a great way to just have some peace.  However, you will miss out on EVERYTHING that your future can bring.  Had I pulled the trigger on that faithful night 25 years ago I would have missed out on my wife, my kids, my job and just all that is great about my life now.  It all seems so hopeless at the time, I know.Take a step back and evaluate if you want to remain in the situation you are, especially with the mom.  She is a greatly negative influence and is contributing to this cycle of self-defeat that you find yourself in.  You have little or no confidence and this is spilling out into your work and now it seems the whole world is against you.Do what I did.  Move.  Find a cheap ass place that is YOURS.  Come home to peace and Sedated state every single day.  That will be a HUGE change.   Again, you are surrounded by all of this negativity and need a change.  I promise you that if you give it a chance, life is really awesome, no matter how bad it looks now.']",Ideation
user-354,"['Hm. Id have to research that. Ill get back to you in 5 minutes.EDIT: Prices vary for certain psychologist, but it can average anywhere from 25-150$ per hour/session, depending on their policies.', 'Ah, sorry. I misread your reply. You can head over to a hospital or local medical center and get scheduled for a general diagnosis of your mental health. A doctor can refer you from there.', 'This also may sound strange, but are you into gaming at all? I find that playing video games greatly reduces stress, especially when playing strongly based community games. You can meet great friends along the way. And if gaming is not your thing, find things that you are interested in and explore them. Find people that you share similar interests in. Friends are always there for you.', 'Okay, maybe if you want, we could play some games together. Theres lots of free games on Steam that are really fun! Warframe, Fallen Earth, and RIFT to name a few. ', 'Please dont give up now. I understand that you are scared. Thats normal. You are going through a very difficult time. But you need to understand that it likely will not get better unless you take action. You will NOT be taken to the police for seeking help. I guarantee you that.', 'Thats completely fine if you feel that way. What I want you to understand, though, is that I dont know you. Odds are that I never will know you. The thing is though, I care about you. I care about your situation, and your feelings. I want you to know that I want you to be there for your son, as I feel he will need you. I whole-heartidly want you to live and enjoy yourself and the others around you. Please dont do this to your family, and yourself. There are many things in the world to enjoy. Dont let this stop you from wanting to do these things.', 'I want you to consider the consequences. Think about everything you are leaving behind. This entire earth and all of what is to enjoy in it. You may be feeling Hyperactive behavior shit right now, but I want you to know that even though I personally do not know who you are, I truly care about you, and Id Hyperactive behavior you to consider this, and hopefully make the right decision. If youd Hyperactive behavior to talk about it, Im here buddy.', 'You cant be thinking Hyperactive behavior that. Imagine the doubt and unassurance that he will go though. Having to be told that his father died long ago. Thats a grim thought. Thats not healthy for a child. If I may ask, do you love your son?', 'You shouldnt think about these things. Enjoy the little things in life, and surround yourself with friends and family. Im here if you want to talk.', 'If you have Steam, you should get Team Fortress 2. Its a FPS and incredibly team based. It also has a huge community and is very friendly. Maybe we could play sometime.', 'And that is the worst part. He will never know who his father was, and he will never get to enjoy the time he could have spent with you playing baseball at the park, or going to the movies together. I couldnt imagine my life without my dad.', 'Okay. Well, in such a serious situation as this, I think that you definitely should consider looking into a psychiatrist, no matter the financial situation. That was just some numbers I pulled up anyways from a random source. Im sure they can be flexible. Also, I just read your previous post. I dont even know where to begin. If my father committed suicide, I would just give up, and shut down. It would kill me on the inside. I would be questioning if it was me that caused it, or if it was something I did. You have to pull through man, for your sons sake. And yours too.', 'Life is a gift. Life is here for you to enjoy it, because once you are gone, you are gone. Please dont consider ending your own life. Enjoy what you have. Im here if you want to talk, man.', 'Hi! There are MANY different paths that you can take as a means of treatment. First and foremost, you will NOT be put into a hospital! You should probably talk to your doctor for a means of treatment as a primary measure. He may diagnose you and give you pills that can improve your attitude, or he may schedule you to see a therapist, psychologist, etc. Ive actually had problems mentally, and the pills that I have taken have helped immensely. Im here to talk if youd Hyperactive behavior!', 'Im really sorry to hear that man. Although I hope you can learn from fucking up and use that to better yourself. Life is really precious. I know that it may seem hopeless, but think of all that you are leaving behind. Maybe find a psychologist to help you get back on your feet, and enjoy life. I really hope you make the right decision, mate.', 'Dont Anxiety. If you want, you dont have to mention your issues with the lady over the phone. Id just ask for an appointment. When talking to the doctor, you should definitely be 100% honest with him. You will get the best treatment possible. And dont Anxiety about police action. You arent breaking any laws! Youre getting the help you need in a healthy way : )', 'They can really get inside your head, sometimes even more so than you, yourself can, and they really can help you. I really would Hyperactive behavior you to at least give it a try, and see how it helps you. Try and pull through until morning, and search for any in your area using Google maps, etc. Make a meeting with one. You can pour out your feelings to him/her. Its always good to tell someone.', 'Do you want to talk about it? Why do you feel this way?', 'Youre doctor will likely refer you to a certified professional who deals with situations exactly Hyperactive behavior yours.', 'But why not enjoy your life? Theres been an almost impossible chance for all of the chain reactions in the history of the universe to ensure that you were ever born. You are so lucky to be alive. You may no longer care once you are dead, but dont you want to enjoy the time that you were gifted with, and spend that as long as you can? When you are gone, youre gone forever. Forever is a pretty long time, man.', 'Expensive? Do you have family support that could help you pull through? Friends, even?', 'What games do you play? :)', 'Shit...', 'Thus far. Make your time worth it. I understand that your life is utter shit right now. You need to be strong. Dont let this relationship keep you down. Get back up. Meet new people :)', 'Good. All fathers should love their children infinitely Hyperactive behavior yourself. You need to keep telling yourself that. Be there for him, for when he will need you later in life. His first day of school, his graduation, his wedding. Dont you want to be there to support him, and love him?', 'Everyone is beautiful. I know that sounds cliche and stupid, but its true. Being overweight is a problem many people face, and I want you to know that killing yourself is not the way to resolve this situation. Im here if you want to talk.', 'You should seek a new psychiatrist immediately. No professional should act Hyperactive behavior they dont care about your current situation. I understand that you must be very Stress about your condition, and I truly am sorry for that. No words of encouragement can cure it. I hope you can pull through, and live your life, instead of ending it. Once youre gone, youre gone forever. Im here if youd Hyperactive behavior to talk.', 'Thats awesome. I dont personally play that. Do you have Steam?']",Supportive
user-355,"['Im probably a bastard for posting this, but I hope you spend the time to watch: [Free will?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rglQHgMdHuQ)', 'Another example of aspiration as a stupid, destructive force. Look, you are not going to be happy by having a particular physical appearance, a certain weight, a certain X, a certain Y or a certain Z. You wasted some time of your life, some money (which you claim to have plenty of) and some of your motivation. Big whoop. People go on and on about ""living life to the fullest"" and other arbitrary value judgmentalist mantras, which Irritable Mood about as much as staring at a wall and seeing ""God"".. There are probably other things you find enjoying, but you keep on listing that crap Hyperactive behavior it matters. Think about it, you are a mammal surrounded by assemblances of tools and their bi-products. You have resources at your disposal and you are complaining. Here is something to let you get over yourself.. I dont care. No-one here gives a damn beyond wanting to type some symbols for you to electronically infer the grunting noises they represent so you can in turn have an emotional reaction to them.. There better? Now go make some tea and get to know yourself or some other such shit.', 'Appropriate questions, wrong person.', 'I would Hyperactive behavior to thank you all for your supportive comments. I recently read [an advisory comment](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/nblgw/older_redditors_what_advice_would_you_give_the/) that has been rather insightful. In combination with your help and this sage wisdom, I may not be fully clear of my suicidal ideation, but I do feel more confident in seeking help.Thanks again', 'TLDR - ""This too will pass"" (?)', 'Most genuine problems I have seen since coming on this site... All a person has is what is happening right now. Thanks for saying this.', 'Ah.. In that case I will play the bastard for a moment, you are on Suicide watch and  concerned about your mum knowing you smoke weed.. Think about that. Which has more clout, your mom catches you with a Pain localised and berates you. Or your mom walks in and finds your corpse. Which is more daunting a prospect?Given you are in college right now, you are emplyed (which is a damn sight more successful than many I know) and you are not yet dead. As for what you mentioned about your friends working a ""high-school"" job, have you ever gone to your local shop and seen a 60-something year old man working behind the counter who is obviously unwell and working to survive and thought about how your mother might catch you unwell.. This world is shit man, I wont disagree, but these reasons can be resolved in a short space of time. When your fees are covered, you get to live separate from your parents. As your friends are making themselves their own lives and you your own, you can spend time getting to know yourself and make new friends. Short of being in a constant risk of no prospects I think you are in a bad place right now. For you though, even with a constant depression, things can get better.', 'Have you tried taking the passive approach. Like just sitting there and not moving or thinking and letting the desire run through but not acting on it?Kind of Hyperactive behavior meditating, just clear your mind and sit perfectly still.', '>Ibipolar was ruled out because, get this, I dont hear voices. What the....? Voices? This is confusing. What!?!?Words cannot describe...Im with you bro/sis so if anything else, I know that feel. Maybe if we got enough people together we could all sit staring at the clouds. One more thing. You are not fucked up. You are unfortunate enough to be human amongst other humans. Its a terrible tragedy.', 'I didnt think so either, not then. I hope it works out for you.', 'We are fucking about on reddit.. Quit being an idiot, we are blatantly time wasting morons on here..', 'I can sympathise MM..point by point:* Bed is awesome and warm and cosy.* If you pay for Uni, maybe you should pack it in. At least until you know what you want to do later. You have a whole life to make mistakes in.* YES! This a million times. Fucking catch 22 situation right. Cant meet people who would suit because of not meeting people. * I dont know what to say about this. It sucks being on edge. How do people do it?* Not pathetic.. Well, not as pathetic as you think. Its a horrible distortion to feel this way. * I know that feel.* :( Oh god. * Yup, know that feel.* Not knowing where to direct the Anger is awful right?* I smoke. That is supposedly self-harming. Likewise, it feels good. Hell even getting short of breath and rarely aches in my ribs feels Hyperactive behavior something. So whilst I cant fully understand this habit, that is where I am coming from.Hopefully you can tell I am sympathising with you. I wont know your life, but there is a bit of info on me. No judgement.All I can say is, help isnt all professionals. **But** they are the most experienced at it. If they are callous and turn you away or dismiss your situation, sorry, but they are paid but not pro. I dont know if it helps, but not being alone in understanding that although not standard, you are not absurdly out of touch. People need to deal with it. A doctor will have to take you seriously eventually. If they dont you are in every right to get Anger if they are continually neglecting their oath to do no harm.I cant say everyone finds it this hard. I hear ""not thinking about it"" helps. That being easier said than done of course. You may not need help, but no-one here can truly know enough to pass that judgment. The question is;Do you think you need help? It comes down to that really. The rest is getting it.', 'My mother had the same attitude.. She used to be abusive and Violent too. Thing is, these people can be quite cowardly in the face of it. If you do what you need to do without consulting them they hate it, but the more you ignore their demands in light of what you need to be well, they will back down. They have no choices, but you can have them.', 'I found something that helped: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rglQHgMdHuQ', 'I appreciate your perspective. I suppose my perspective might be appropriate for you, that is not only a temporary solution, it may actually come back to hit you hard later on. I dont know you, and I dont know your life, but if you can be that way without something hanging over you constantly, try a little more compassion in exchange for selfishness. You can give yourself scars keeping up that approach for too long, and that is what I allude to in my post. Why do I say this? Because I tried a similar tactic for a long time, and should have seen the problem with it. I may not be here in a year or two, but take it from me, that shit can be a killer. Yet, you can live with your problem (I could too for a time) maybe if something doesnt wait around your corner you can keep doing that..', 'Why did you say HIV and then mention HPV.. Do you Irritable Mood this: [Human Papillomavirus](https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Hpv)?Because there is a vaccine being developed for that.. Its better not to mix those two up. Which is possibly what you did, considering its association with genital warts. In which case, wear protection, seek treatment and allow time for it to clear. You never know, limiting sexual contact temporarily may allow for developing a relationship with your woman.', 'Well I can think of one thing.. Assuming you pay for these things yourself (including the smokes), you can come clean on smoking. When you go home, you are at home. Alotting time is not that important, you are only there as much as you will share anyway. That is about the limit of my suggestions. I also do not have faiths banding me to attaching myself to life or fear of death. I see some major issues that a great number of people either simply overlook or are complacent with - not knowing what to do with it. So at the very least; Hello. Also, [Absurdism](https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Absurdism).', 'You just pointed out **TWO** options and then said that **every** path is hopeless. What about these:What age are you? If you are above the age of majority I can see no reason why you seeking out medical help yourself would be of detriment, even in that environment. Youve already placed a target smack bang on your fathers head here. I guess the question that you should ask yourself is, are you considering Suicide (at least on some level) as a way to get at your father AND escape your misery. All I am suggesting is you should consider the roots of this first. You could be in a state now, but if you go get your own help at the very least that sense of agency could help you out. Even if you do resolve for Suicide later on.Think for a second, you are trapped and are considering the most exemplary option of agency (self-termination) as the option. So, it would be rather inconsequential, but effective, to do what you need to do and go sort out your own shit. In spite of your father.']",Supportive
user-356,"['Damn that hit home for me for sure. Im in the same boat as you man, minus doing the physical pain. What triggered my perception of life to change was smoking a ton of weed the past year and its made me think differently and I dont Hyperactive behavior it either. What is it that you really hate about yourself exactly, your appearance, what you do day to day, how you talk or what exactly?', 'No I already did and I want you to state why you cant right here. All of the stuff in your posts are possible to get better at and are manageable. Let me tell you something, my grandmother lived in Taiwan and China and Japan were feuding over Taiwan because its between the 2 countries. Well my Grandma was so poor that from age 10 she was working and by age 13 she was on her own living in the streets of a broken city. She rose out of that waitressing and every day fighting her way out while extremely Depressed mood. She got out when she was 18 and she is the happiest person I know. Tell me and list here how you cant get better and whats so bad.', 'First steps are never the bestIts after that we learn the restBut the way to successIs by taking that first stepDont get discouraged nowItll all come back aroundTake away all the doubtAnd just take what youve found', 'I am motivated by the thought of one day being happy and feeling fulfilled in life. I still have days that Im super Depressed mood and I still get that feeling, but I am actively making little steps and going out of my comfort zone and feeling generally uncomfortable but when I make those little breakthroughs I realize that its still possible, thats what Im holding onto.', 'Your very young and let me tell you something, your mind will lie to you and make you feel bad. The Mental Depression is trying to indoctrinate you and each time you have the thoughts that are negative and you dont try to correct it, you are feeding it and letting it take you over more and more. Every time you have a negative thought you need to realize that it is not real, it is not the truth. You are not worthless, you have much to live for and life is beautiful. If you want to be happy then you need to make things happy for yourself and improve aspects of your life that you do not Hyperactive behavior. The problem with Mental Depression is that its telling you that things CANT change or that they WONT change or something of those lines and you know what, thats horse shit. You need to let your mind know that and to really try. Go out of your comfort zone to make friends, take little steps and be patient. Things do not happen instantly, you need to give it time. I understand that your young and when you are young its easy to believe things Hyperactive behavior there is no hope, but is that true? No it is not. Be honest with yourself and fight your fears. Do what makes you happy and dont hesitate to do that.', 'Okay man you need to break this cycle: Look at yourself. You cant see into the future. You dont know that it wont get better. Your making that happen by not doing anything. Your just going to keep making yourself worse if you keep letting your negative thoughts Hyperactive behavior ""I know I wont get better."" get through to you. I want you to go re read that comment, and I want you to say thats fucking bullshit. You cant look into the future you have no away of KNOWING that it will get better. You can get better you need to change your thinking or you might not get better. Do you want to get better?', 'Im sorry its 2 in the morning Ill be back later.', 'Im sorry youve been pushed this far man. I hope you dont go through with it.', 'And you know what Im telling you you can change all of that. ', 'Yeah I Irritable Mood I guess that is the truth of it somewhat. Your lasting value is the legacy you leave behind but that will still die out in time. That doesnt Irritable Mood it cant affect others after you. I believe every time we collide with someone we cant not affect them be it not in a totally profound way sometimes, but we all still matter you know? Dont dwell on the fact that we all die, its really not what matters in life. What matters is to try to live out your life and be happy you know what I Irritable Mood?', 'Only way to get better is to practice and give it a real shot, you know?', 'Yeah its definitely not all situations, but Ill say that sometimes you do need to put your foot down and tell people Hyperactive behavior it is. Take [this](http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/1obimk/sometimes_i_feel_like_i_wanna_die/ccqh6eg) thread talk I had with this kid. Your right too, its really fucked up to troll here Hyperactive behavior its probably the worst spot in all of reddit to troll, I actually cant believe people would do that here its just disgusting.', 'You need to fight your mind my friend. Dont be afraid to talk to people, if they are true friends then they will still accept you and even more they should want to help you. If you arent comfortable with talking to your friends then talk to family about it. I felt the same way for 2 years and I kept suffering and didnt talk to anyone. One day I had a Panic Attacks attack in the car after a family trip because I felt so lonely and I couldnt stop crying. Thats when my family really stepped up for me and tried to make me feel better. Dont be afraid to talk to family friend. Fight the negative thoughts in your mind, Hyperactive behavior your head might tell you something Hyperactive behavior ""Your worthless"" or something and you tell your mind ""No Im not worthless."". Or maybe the Suicide thoughts Hyperactive behavior ""I should just kill myself"" tell your mind (think) that you shouldnt kill yourself. Please talk to someone, it will make you feel alot better. In fact PM me please and we can talk about it. Id be happy too man.', 'Things will get better for you for sure, when you turn 18 your parents cant be so super controlling. Do your sisters support you? Whats the deal with them?', 'Im sorry thats happening to you, my father is Depressed mood too and Im in a similar situation as you. Your sibling doesnt want to live anymore I think you two really need each other in this moment then. Is there anything that comes to mind at all that is positive in your life at the moment? ', 'Listen to logic and you know thats not true. Its what you believe.Look at these lyrics.""Human Beings in a mobWhats a mob to a kingWhats a king to a godWhats a god to a non-believerWho dont believe in anything""What do you think that means? ', 'You sound really busy, I feel Hyperactive behavior you really need that leisure time man. I feel for you. ', 'Why not?', 'Well Ive never been that deep in Hyperactive behavior you are. I can tell you though that life is definitely not fair and that we all make mistakes and that whats important is that we learn from them. Its good you understand that you did what you had to do. Do you really forgive yourself though for those mistakes youve made and your past, or are you just trying to forget it all?', 'Yeah that makes sense. You are still stuck in the past a bit and your family just wants to forget it, they are both opposite ideas of dealing with it. Do you know what your looking for exactly or are you just generally feeling lost?', 'Its alright man thats what were here for. Do you talk to your parents about this? Do they understand Hyperactive behavior REALLY understand how you feel?', 'Thank you man. Really helps.', 'If you want to get better then you will keep saying that and you will at least try to say I CAN. ', 'I think you would be surprised. Tell them how long youve been thinking about Suicide, tell them that you are lonely, tell them that you dont know what to do and tell them that you are Social fear that you might end up killing yourself and that you need help. You cant be going through this alone.Other then that the only way to get better is to fight it. Keep fighting it and fight it hard. Push yourself a little a day take yourself out of your comfort zone and try to make friends. Its gonna be hard but this is the way to beating it. You need to be patient too and dont give up, keep trying. ', 'We put power in what we believe, there is so much power in what we believe. You can put power in believing that things cant change, or you can believe that you can change and then it can happen. Your going through denial right now and your letting your mind win. You let it happen to yourself your right but your letting things keep escalating by not fighting and just accepting that you cant change. To think that things cant get better for yourself that you cant make friends is just delusional, do you understand that? ', 'Tell me whats so bad that it cant get better. Your too young for that to be true.', 'If you gave up a long time ago when your only 15 that means that its been indoctrinating you for a very long time and that right now you really need to break it. You want it to get better but youve resigned to accepting that you cant. Let me tell you something, YOU CAN. What youve been wanting to believe that it can is true. All of the mountains in your life that you feel that you cant climb are not as Drug abuse as you think, your mind is telling you that. Each time you try you probably think of the worst scenario possible and it seems so much worse then it really is, but its actually not. The problem is you dont believe in yourself. Dont let this take you over. The first step I am telling you to get better is to say that it CAN get better. Im not saying that they will, but you need to just accept the literal FACT that it CAN get better. Once you accept that then we can talk about the 2nd step. The fact that you are posting things Hyperactive behavior Sometimes I feel I wanna die and Im feeling down (I need help) means that somewhere inside you you do know that its true, and that you just dont know where to start to get better. ', 'You say your Social fear to talk to people, well I think thats a good place to start on making yourself happy. Talk to friends/family man, theres gotta be someone there to help you. More then anything just do stuff and keep yourself busy, just do anything. You need to quit hating yourself as well, you are going to the gym and you are working on your body, let that motivate you. Invest in yourself, believe in yourself. If you need someone to talk to you can always PM me. I got you man.', 'Give me a few then. Surely you can do that.', 'Why do you feel the need to die friend?', 'Yeah things will feel out of your comfort zone, but you kinda need to do those things to get better out of them. Thats how you get comfortable you know?', 'No problem. Feel free to PM not a bother to me whatsoever. ', 'Hey you. Im sorry you feel so lost, tell me what you think is the root of the Anxiety Mental Depression / Mental Depression and lets talk about them. I know how you feel about the Psychiatrist stuff by the way, I went to one and I was supposed to have a full hour right? Well, she started 10 minutes late and basically only listened to what I had to say and didnt give me any advice afterwards and just kinda Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me to think of things for myself making me feel Hyperactive behavior shit afterwards. Shed always just give me stupid generic answers when I asked her what to do when shed cut me off 10 minutes as well (40 minutes total a session...) Hyperactive behavior oh talk to people and whatnot. Shit sucks.', 'Well first of all can you tell why you want to kill yourself? How old are you, whats bothering you, when did you start feeling this way ?', 'Stop right now. Stop all of the negative thoughts. I challenge you to give 1 year of working hard to improve yourself in all of the areas that you dont Hyperactive behavior yourself in and to see how things turn out for yourself. Work for it, dont be lazy and try your best to stay positive. I understand youve been window shopping death for 8 years and I am with you on that, it sucks. What changed my life from doing that is I decided I would take 1 year of trying my best to make friends, work on fixing my subconscious from being so negative and trying to be happy. If things had not at least gotten better, then I decided that I would commit Suicide. Things werent all fixed through the year, but things were better so I decided to go again. Death is so permanent, you cant go back and you already have 20 years invested man.You cant give up brother, you are still so young, and you have so much to live for. Just because your beginning was Muscle Weakness does not Irritable Mood that you cant turn it all around, you need to believe in yourself and you need to truly give yourself a shot. Focus on the bright sides and dont let the negative take over, or it will, that is a self made prophecy.Work on talking to your sister, try to get on her side and find out if maybe she is just rotten you know? Dont let her bring you down. Tell her how you feel and dont go this alone. You seem Hyperactive behavior a good person and you know what that does Irritable Mood something. You are in a hole but you definitely have the means to make new friends, TO talk to your family more and sew up some holes. Most of all I dont want you to go this alone, PLEASE PM me whenever you are feeling lonely or sad and I would love to make you feel better man. Dont let uncertainty cloud you.First steps are never the bestIts after that we learn the restBut the way to successIs by taking that first stepDont get discouraged nowItll all come back aroundTake away all the doubtAnd just take what youve found', 'Damn that is really rough. Is there anyone that you can reach out for that cares for you Hyperactive behavior any family, friends? What makes you happy in general ?', 'I can tell you one thing for sure, thats that the most common thing and the strongest thing that keeps people from killing themselves is knowing that it will Chest Pain the ones they love. Let him know how much you really care for him, let him know your there for him ect. Try having a talk with him and getting down to the root of why he is Depressed mood and whatnot. I hope this advice helps you but Im only 16 - turning 17 soon so I really dont know anything about guns and whatnot.', 'Okay well I am going to tell you that you CAN change and that you CAN get better. You need to understand that you CAN get better. To say ""I want to get better but I fucking cant"" is completely wrong, that is implying that its impossible. If you truly want to get better, right now Im gonna tell you the first step to getting better is to accept that you CAN get better. Please tell me that.', 'Alright fair enough. Keep fighting and make some changes. You cant keep doing the same thing and expecting for something to change, thats literally insanity. Go out of your comfort zone, each day make a little step. Things will get easier for you but first they have to get hard.', 'Thats what I thought too and you know what it took them a while to, but sooner rather then later they understood and it felt Hyperactive behavior a giant weight was lifted off and that I wasnt so alone in the fight. Its a lot easier to keep going when you have help.', 'How long have you felt that way and what is causing you to feel that way? Loneliness, boredom, an event that has happened recently or what? How young are you?']",Indicator
user-357,"['Rejection can suck sometimes, but at least you know that you want a good life for yourself and future spouse! Thats reason enough to not give up. Dont let it bring you down, I wish you the best of luck. ', 'No matter what, it is best for you to remain strong. I know, its tough as hell to deal with life after youve already attempted taking it away. Ive attempted twice in the past but Im still here. I do agree, the outside world is terrifying but you cannot let that hold you back. Start off with small things(book stores, coffee shops, etc.) before attempting to go into bigger(malls, amusement parks, etc). Get comfortable with yourself, thats what I did. Im still working on it, but Im slowly starting to enjoy being out whereas I used to hate it. Another thing, never pay attention to what others think or say. If all they have to say is negative, then they arent worth paying attention to. You need to try and be positive, even when the world around you drags you down. Just believe and know that one day, you will find someone who will love you for you and things will get better. It may not happen soon, but it will happen soon enough. Just do not lose faith Hyperactive behavior so many do. ', 'That was really great and made me feel pretty good. Thanks for that, great work as well!', 'Man, Im sorry you have to go through this. Youre family is wrong, you shouldnt kill yourself. Im sorry to hear how you feel as well, its hard. Trying to live life and be somewhat happy when everything just seems so shit. Its hard to cope with, but we have to try. Try and think things will get better. But that also requires to push yourself as well. You cant just expect things to get better, you need to work hard at it. Use your family as your motivation. Work hard and show them that they are wrong. Live life well and prove them all wrong. I wish you the best of luck.', 'Wow, now I understand. That really is something and it puts you in a tough situation. Well, lets hope the next 18 months go pretty decent with no unwanted surprises happening. At least until youre able to get yourself situated and leave for Japan. ', 'I cant speak for everybody, but for me personally, I enjoy having someone to talk to about my problems. Ive suffered from severe Mental Depression for years now and attempted Suicide twice. My life is far from perfect and I become unhappier every day that passes. I spend so much time alone with my thoughts, that they build up until I feel so overwhelmed I dont see any other way but to die. I understand what you Irritable Mood by when it comes to the average person, I feel the same way. I usually open up to people who have been in similar positions as myself or can relate in a way. Honestly, talking to someone, whether it is just to vent or to seek advice, it helps me feel better. And if Im talking to someone who understands and can help me, its great to have another point of view on things. Sometimes I can only see my problems from my point of view or another, but when I talk to someone who knows me and my problems, they usually are able to give me another view on the problem and it helps me come up with a better solution. I try not to be a burden to others, I hate the feeling and sometimes I cannot help it. But they insist Im not and Hyperactive behavior to help, as I try to do for others. ', 'Its easy to just end it, especially once youre intoxicated. But you shouldnt. Im also in a long-distance relationship and it is hard as hell to deal with. Especially when you feel distant from them emotionally. Im sorry to hear about you being unemployed, have you not been able to get any kind of government assistance or anything? I assume youve been job searching and I wish the best of luck in that, I know it can be tough nowadays. As for the writing thing, dont give up on that. We all express ourselves differently. You may think you suck at writing, but others might quite Hyperactive behavior it. Id be happy to read whatever you wanted to share. When I first started battling severe Mental Depression, I turned to writing as a way to talk myself out of Suicide and express my feelings and thoughts. It helped me quite a bit. ', 'First off, I would Hyperactive behavior to wish you a happy birthday! Next, its good of you to share this. Its nice to be able to relieve yourself of the thoughts and feelings one has within. 42 may be old to you, but it is just a number. You still have plenty of time to make something of yourself. I hope everything goes well for you. Your situation sounds tough, but hopefully it will all get better soon. But dont let it get you down on your birthday! Again, happy birthday(:', 'I strongly suggest this. When I first started to suffer from severe Mental Depression, I turned to poetry. I start to fill page after page of what I was feeling and what was on my mind. It helped me a lot, especially when you have no one else to go to. ', 'First thing first, dont end it tonight, please. Just give it time. Im here for you. Lets talk. I will try to help as best as I can. ', 'Anytime, Ill always be a PM away. I wish you the best of luck!', 'You need to find a reason to keep living. Something to give your life meaning and to make you happy. May seem impossible, but you have to try and try until you succeed.', 'I understand what you Irritable Mood. Hopefully by Christmas things will get better for you. Life can be hell for some of us, we just need to do our best to survive through it. I hope in the end, youll be happy. ', 'Well, in whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best of luck. Just keep in mind you wont have to deal with it for much longer. ', 'Hi there, stranger! See? Now were acquaintances. I can relate to how you feel about the job thing. You just either need to find something you enjoy doing more or find a happy medium. Work can become repetitive and if you do not enjoy it and cannot get another job. It is best to pick a hobby or something to keep your mind off of it. When Im at work, I try and make whatever I am doing fun by turning it into a mini game for myself. Keeps me entertained and makes time go by faster. ', 'You need to do whats best for you. If youre unhappy, do whatever it is that will make you happy. Its going to be tough, but I here for you if you ever need someone. Good luck on your situation!', 'Anytime, if you ever need to talk to someone, Im here(:And yeah, it seems kind of long now, but time will fly pretty quickly. Hopefully he wont go into more fits and the fights will Sedated state down. ', 'Glad you shared this, it certainly is something else. Happy early birthday, though! Your situation with your ex living with you for the next 18 months(possibly), pretty much sucks. I hope, if you arent able to find another room mate or something, that the next 18 months goes decent until you are able to leave with your friend to go live in Japan. Which, by the way, is pretty cool. I thought about doing that at one point but I dont make enough at the moment and it would take me forever to save up. Hope things get better for you!', 'Glad you were able to continue on, I hope all goes well for you!', 'I hope you dont do anything rash. You may feel Hyperactive behavior you are a burden to others, but you arent. Many times we think we are a burden onto others; when in reality, we are appreciated but it just isnt communicated well. ', 'Im glad you decided to share this, its good to vent everything out Hyperactive behavior that. Theres nothing I can really say that you probably havent heard before. I feel for you and I do hope things get better for you. Hopefully your boyfriend will start to change and things improve. If you ever need a friend to talk to or vent, Im always here. ', 'He seems to have made his mind up for some time. I dont know if it will help, but I can try. ', 'Have you tried looking for other jobs besides working at the grocery store? That seems to be a part of the problem. If you hate it and it drives you crazy, itll just continue to bring you down. Finding another job, preferably one you might enjoy Hyperactive behavior your other one, could help you in the long run. At least with keeping a slightly positive mental state since you wont have to Anxiety about having a job you hate anymore. ', 'Im here for you if you want to talk. Life can be tough, especially when you arent able to talk to someone about what goes on through your mind and life. ', 'I wish I could change your mind but you seem to have it made up. It is a shame though. I understand life is hard. Honestly, it fucking sucks at times. It seems to never get better, just progressively worse until we cant take it anymore. But at that point, we need to struggle and push through. Try and stay postivie and continue living. No matter how Depressed mood life can get, strive to be happy. I wish you would give it more time. You might have already, but you never know whats waiting for you in the future. ', 'Thats the thing, you Are strong enough. We all are. We just need to push ourselves to get better. Yeah, we can ask others for help but in the end, its up to us and whether or not we truly believe we can better ourselves. Just please, do not do anything to harm yourself or end your life. I understand things are rough now and there seems to be no other way. Just be patient. Push through for now. Things will get better. And thank you. I dont think Im an incredible person, I just hate seeing someone feeling and thinking Hyperactive behavior I constantly did and still do. Youre an incredible person, for making it this far. ', 'Just checked out this account for the first time in months. This is great news! Glad things are working out for you!', 'I know, thanks. I feel a bit relieved at the moment, so it helped. ', 'Im really sorry to hear that. I know its hard when nothing seems to get better. I wish youd keep trying though. Its easy to give up but harder to keep going. But in the end, its worth it. ', 'Have you tried looking for jobs outside of the career field youre wanting to get into? I know it may not be what you want, but the money from it can support you until youre able to get the job you want. I know its hard to find a job nowadays. ', 'First thing first, keep yourself distracted. Whatever it is that you are feeling, dont give it the opportunity to get worse. Listen to music, go for a walk, do something to clear your mind. ', 'Thank you, I appreciate it. And yes, I dont think the thoughts ever do go away. They just get shoved to side until youre vulnerable again before they reveal themselves once more. ', 'Youre welcome(: ', 'I can relate. That feeling of boredom can be horrendous to deal with. Have you tried picking up a hobby or challenging yourself with tasks you might enjoy? Im still trying to find ways to rid myself of boredom, but I have picked up a few hobbies that keep myself busy and it passes time. ']",Ideation
user-358,"['i remember when i was a senior last year in HS i was bored of everything just being the same over and over nothing was changing. i had a troubled life at home as well and i was just Exhaustion of nothing changing. ', 'whats wrong?', 'no i see it', 'fact of the matter is life sucks, it may seem Hyperactive behavior not much is changing but you are about to make a huge change in your life, you are going to be looking at colleges. that is a huge change, that will shake things up for you. Many people find there significant other in college so dont get to caught up on this hopelessness feeling with the girl. Tell her how you feel and if she doesnt respond well its her loss. you will just find someone who will be there for you in anyway you need']",Indicator
user-359,"['It took several Suicide attempts before I broke down and sought help.Please dont let it go that far.', 'Im working on a fairly ambitious side project... Id love to talk more about it but I wont since it would disclose my identity. Suffice it to say you may hear about it on r/programming/ from time to time, and hopefully increasingly often here in the next few months as I land some big milestones.I too enjoy making games; I hope your project goes well and continues to be fulfilling for you.I really Hyperactive behavior exercising when I can, especially in cooler weather, because it really does help get me going again. Problem is, Im far enough down right now that I have no physical energy, Im feverish and aching all over (fairly common psychosomatic side effects of Mental Depression), and the thought of doing my usual 5-6 mile walk or something just makes me feel more Exhaustion. Ill do what I Can, though, and hopefully itll help at least a bit.', 'I find that typically my worst brushes with this feeling occur when Im not on my medication.For me, when I really dont want to do something, it just damn well will not get done. Period. I can rationalize, cajole, yell, anything - nothing will convince me to do it. Its Hyperactive behavior all the systems in my brain - fear of failure, fear of consequences, desire to succeed - all just shut down and stop responding. I cant logically or emotionally make myself do anything about it.When medicated, this just doesnt seem to be an issue for me. If I dont want to do something, I can usually find the motivation - it has to get done or XYZ consequences will occur; or I really do want to do it, I just need a kick to get started; or whatever. Work comes easily enough and with proper breaks and resting periods I can cope with a fairly hefty load of responsibilities.Even a day without the drugs, though, and that all goes straight to hell. Then its back in I Dont Care Land, where nothing can convince me to do anything useful. Often, this includes catching up on the meds, which means that missing a dose usually winds up in a weeks-long downward spiral of nastiness.Bottom line: Im relying heavily on my treatment to deal with this. I honestly hope it isnt that severe for you, since it can be utterly crippling and self-reinforcing once it kicks in. Micro-goals are a good technique (thats been discussed in other responses) and I think thats a great place to start; it certainly helps me with feeling less overwhelmed by large tasks. Ultimately, though, dont be afraid to talk to your doctor and experiment with some medicinal solutions to the problem - IF AND ONLY IF you cant solve it on your own.', 'Actually, a total lack of energy and motivation is a common sign of Mental Depression, or a Mental Depression episode. Most people associate ""Mental Depression"" with ""I feel sad"" but this is a misconception.Clinical Mental Depression can range anywhere from a simple emotional Ache to complete Indifferent mood to irritability and Anger. A common element is _anhedonia_ wherein you lack the ability to enjoy or care about anything.My Mental Depression periods generally do include emotionally feeling ""down"", but during the milder run-up to the worst parts, typically consist of just not wanting to do anything at all. For me the most frustrating part is that it occurs _without_ any sort of rational explanation or cause; I have no good reason to feel bad or apathetic, I just do.A lot of people Hyperactive behavior to hand out callous ""advice"" Hyperactive behavior ""oh, just go for a jog, or watch a funny movie, or hang out with some friends and distract yourself."" Its incredibly hard to communicate to them that its not possible to do that; even if you can drag yourself out to go participate in some activity, you get nothing from it. This is what separates true Mental Depression from just bad moods, and what makes it (for me) painfully difficult to explain my disorder to someone whos never been there.', 'Im Type I. No ADHD though.', 'I cant promise you much time, because Im pretty close to checking out myself. But if I can use that time to do something more productive than practice my carving skills on my wrists, you have my attention.I also have a lot of reasons not to feel this way. Sometimes all the reasons in the world cant outweigh how much it hurts.I am, unfortunately, just a stranger. But look on the bright side: you dont have to pay me to care.And Im not pretending.', 'Dont try to fix it. For someone who is Depressed mood enough to seriously consider taking their own life, all the answers in the world - no matter how sincere, well-meaning, or even correct - will seem trite, inconsiderate, and hollow. It can be incredibly hard to resist the urge to try to make everything better, but the reality is that the best thing you can do is be there, and *care*.Its good that youre concerned, and good that youre nervous about dealing with it alone - because I dont think anyone can deal with this kind of stuff alone. The more support you can muster - even from Internet strangers - the better.Just be around. Dont try and draw her out; let her open up in her own time. It can be incredibly difficult to talk about this stuff, especially the first time. But through it all, stick by her and be available for when the time does come.Do your best to not be harsh or judgmental, but be aware that you might be perceived as being those things anyways. Suicidal Mental Depression warps perception in very strange ways. The best I can suggest is to be as Disturbance in attention as you can, and dont take Hostility or frustration on her part personally - those are just part of the battle shes fighting.', 'I can understand your situation very well.I too feel a split in my mind, between rational, clear thought, and the depraved, senseless destruction that is my disorder. Problem is, the rational bit is very tiny, and very much not in control. It feels very afraid of the other majority, and it wants desperately to make it all go away, but isnt always sure it can take the steps necessary to do so.Ive routinely lied and manipulated the truth in front of my doctors. Nobody knows the full picture of what Ive gone through - just bits and select pieces, as I feel they need to know. (This is the diseased half of me deciding this, by the way - my little healthy slice wants desperately to be able to just spill it all out, let everyone know exactly how bad things really are, but... I just dont. I dont even know why.)Ive struggled with alcoholism and heavy tobacco use. Ive struggled with adrenaline Drug craving and all kinds of destructive behaviour. Theres so much stuff that I just cant and wont talk about... as much as I wish I could.But theres a bright side to this. My doctor continually reassures me that the best weapon one can possibly have in fighting mental and emotional problems is that little slice of awareness. Thats what it takes to know to get help, to make the scary decisions, to open up and accept that things must change in order to improve your life. Its Hyperactive behavior any other part of your mind: you have to exercise it to make it stronger.Thrive on that little slice. Understand that you dont necessary have to fix everything all at once - in fact, thats probably too much to try to do anyways (at least for me). But taking steps is good, and any start is a good start.Keep that slice alive, and give it time to grow. Ive improved in my compliance with taking medication. Ive improved in my ability to be honest about my situation. And Ive improved a lot in seeking help when the worst times strike. So I know theres hope.You, Hyperactive behavior me, have a tremendous amount of life ahead of you. Heres hoping that both of us can embrace it and enjoy it for its good parts, and overcome the bad.', 'Thanks. Its easy to feel Hyperactive behavior Im channeling Hemmingway or something while Im Manic, but its kind of nice to hear that I actually am coherent. Frankly, there have been times when Ive written stuff while Manic, and come back to it later in a more sound mental state and just gone ""WTF?!""', 'Did my lab work yesterday. So at least thats out of the way.Im no stranger to all this; Ive lived with it for the better part of two decades and Ive been diagnosed and dealing with medication adjustments of one kind or another for just over six years. I appreciate the feedback, and I hate to sound negative about what is certainly a genuine attempt to help, but... I kinda feel Hyperactive behavior youve missed the point. Maybe thats my fault for being a poor communicator, I dunno.Drinking replaced other substance abuse issues in my life - mostly prescription abuse - and it already feels Hyperactive behavior a fallback. Its what I do when Im trying _not_ to do something worse.Cutting is very much the same. In my world, it makes more sense to flirt with a little incision or two than to flirt with putting a loaded gun in my mouth. Its already a replacement for a terrible habit.I know how to live with my own addled brain. Ive certainly had enough practice. Whats difficult isnt managing the intrusive thoughts, or handling the occasional minor mood swing, or any of that. Whats difficult is when there is literally nothing I can do to control what I feel and what I think.Its not because Im new to it or uneducated or poorly equipped to cope. Its because things are really, truly fucked up.Bleh. I hope I dont sound ungrateful, because Im not. I just feel Hyperactive behavior I wasnt clear about the reality of my situation, probably because Ive spent a lot of time here writing about my situation and sort of assume people will do some background research on me. Thats probably a dumb assumption, though :-)', 'Seriously?Whats with these quacks who think that its possible to just magically ""gain control"" of yourself and make the disorder go away? Its not under our control, thats what makes it a disease. If I could just ""control myself"" and stop feeling Depressed mood or Manic, dont you think I would? Do you really believe that I _want_ to be this way, and therefore dont take steps to change?I have no polite adjectives for the author of this nonsense.', 'I find that, unlike most cases, my Hypersomnia is controlled by my episodes and not vice versa. I can and will Hypersomnia fine most of the time, but as soon as a cycle starts, there is nothing at all I can do (including prescription Hypersomnia aids and stimulants) that will even my sleeping back out until everything dies down. As is normal, I Hypersomnia a lot more when Depressed mood and often go days without any Hypersomnia when Psychiatric symptom.', 'Oh, sure; I didnt meant to imply the math never (or even rarely) works in your favor. Just dont want to see you make any decisions based on false rigor.I think theres one other thing your model leaves out, to its detriment: your metric captures only a quantification of _how things are_. Something worth factoring into the system is the potential - in a physics sense - for that value to change. Youve described a number that you can graph over time as a simple planar curve; I think though that every point on that curve has an associated window of potential. At any given moment, theres how things _are_ and how things _could be_ - both in the positive and negative direction.Think of it Hyperactive behavior a statistical model. Youve captured the Irritable Mood of the data set - the way things are - but you have cropped out the standard deviation. A Irritable Mood by itself conveys very little information. You need to know not just where things stand now but how much better _or worse_ they could be at that given moment.Progress shouldnt be measured on the absolute scale youve described; instead, you should measure progress against the relative sliding window of potential. The closer you are to the lower bound, the worse things are; the more you tend towards the upper bound, the better things are.  Of course absolute value is also important - it does after all affect the baseline of severity - but in measuring any kind of movement you need to take into account the margins.And youre right that its extremely hard to improve that absolute value, at any given moment in time. Whats substantially less difficult is to increase the upper bound of your potential window. Raising the lower bound can be tough as well, but its doable. If you continue to adjust the margins slowly and steadily, eventually you will inevitably shift the absolute instantaneous metric as well.Mathematics can be a very powerful way to justify decisions; but its always important to ensure that you have the most accurate model you can devise. Simplifying assumptions can be useful, but they can also distort perceptions in subtle and sometimes harmful ways. Im not saying youre wrong... just that you might want to double-check the equations.', 'I used to get that feeling a lot.So one day, I took a long weekend off work, got in the car, and just started driving aimlessly. Covered a couple thousand miles before I ended up looping around and coming back home a few days later.I dont know how practical that would be for you; youve mentioned a family and such, which I know can be hard to leave. But if theres any way you can pull it off, I can highly recommend the experience. A couple days to just think and clear your head and feel Hyperactive behavior you _are_ escaping might just do the trick.YMMV, of course.', 'I can recommend professional help, but be aware that the majority of ""professionals"" (psychologists, psychiatrists, MDs in general, and even professional counselors) are total crap. It may take some time and hopping to find someone you are really comfortable with and can work this out with.Theres always SW, too. We may not be professional, but theres some amazing people here.', 'Shit, son. I didnt believe in god. I **was** god.Manic Acute psychosis does some truly weird things to your mind. People talk about dropping acid as a gateway to the divine... they have _no idea_.Got lots of stories about those times, if youre interested. Im all druggified these days though so thankfully it doesnt happen too often anymore.', 'I think theres a difference between wanting to move on, and wanting to _forget_.For me personally, being Bipolar Disorder is an integral part of my past - and, in all probability, my future. I dont _like_ it per se, but its there, and for better or worse (ok, lets be honest, mostly worse) its made me into who I am _now_.The way I see it, we are not divorced from our symptoms or feelings. This isnt some ""other person"" living out their lives in our heads; whether we Hyperactive behavior it or not, _this is who we are_. Its not as if theres some other occupant upstairs being experimental, avant-garde, risk-taking, moody, voracious, megalomaniacal, elite, workaholic, melancholic, tormented, dark, or abstract. Thats _us_. You _were_ (and perhaps still _are_) all of those things - it isnt just some shell that you wear.Yes, those aspects of ourselves may be rooted in a disease, but that doesnt make them any less valid or any less personal and real. Genuine Acute psychosis aside, what we think and feel is more or less who we are.The obvious problem with this is that those things are often distasteful. Its not pleasant to think ""hey, yeah, Im really whacked out."" Especially as you mention when there are past deeds, damaged relationships, and general wasted time that we regret, it can be extremely difficult to accept. For my own part, there are certainly times when I _want_ all that to just be someone else taking over my body for a while. I _want_ to not be associated with a lot of those things.But in my thoroughly off-the-cuff and not-professionally-trained opinion, I think its important to see those things as part of your whole being. And that, I think, is the key - those things are _just a part_. There is more to you - more to all of us - than just being Bipolar Disorder. And there is more to be had than just symptoms, even if there have been times when the symptoms seem to dominate everything else.Theres an analogy I really Hyperactive behavior for this. Imagine a giant, bustling factory full of noisy machinery, yelling workers, and generally a bunch of deafening racket. Now imagine that Drug abuse up in the rafters of the building, a songbird has built a nest. Most of the time, when the factory is busy, youll never be able to hear that bird singing. But when everyone goes home and everything is shut down for the night, theres something of beauty and value to be found under the surface.Some of the time, maybe even most of the time, the noise of our Bipolar Disorder symptoms may be deafening. But that does not in any way subtract from the reality of the songbird sitting in the rafters, waiting for a chance to be heard.I think its awesome that youre on medication and doing better. I think thats a sign that youre in a good position to start listening for the bird singing, and hopefully to bring that sound to the forefront of your life.', 'I should note that most of the literature doesnt specifically refer to urination issues directly; however, it is almost always mentioned that blood sugar issues can occur with use of Geodon, and what you describe sounds Hyperactive behavior classic symptoms of such issues. Diabetes and Hypoglycemia symptoms are worth looking into to see if you show any other signs of blood sugar imbalance.I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. Please take this as just friendly, concerned advice and nothing more!', 'Welcome to the crew :-)Ive been diagnosed for almost 5 years and still dont know what to think about it or how to deal with it. You get better at it, but I dont really think it ever gets easier.Shit, thats a real downer. Heres an imaginary donut to make your night better: O', 'Im afraid of the consequences. It might Irritable Mood he wants to adjust my medication again (which has been a living hell every time its been done in the past) or even have me committed. I guess its totally irrational, but it just seems Hyperactive behavior if I can control what he knows itll help control the course of my treatment. So ultimately Im the one who decides how things play out.Maybe it just boils down to a control issue, I dont know.', 'Oh, I know I didnt magically wish Bipolar Disorder disorder onto myself. Just kind of ironic that I remember thinking that as a kid, and then wham, I grow up and here I am.I get what youre saying about treatment helping, and I appreciate the sentiment... but what scares me is that even at my absolute best this kind of stuff haunts me. I cant increase my dosage of antidepressants without triggering Manic episodes, and I have bad side effects from all the mood stabilizers and antipsychotics Ive been on (especially at Drug abuse enough doses to control the antidepressant-induced Mania Leukemia, Myelocytic, Acute) so Im kind of stuck. My current cocktail does a great job of keeping me level and stable, but the thoughts never go away.Definitely going to bring this up with my doctor now that I realize it consciously, though, and see what he thinks.', 'I get that a lot during my Mental Depression/mixed episodes.Its come down to me getting very unpleasant with my friends at times, which makes it even more difficult for them to _want_ to be around when stuff gets bad. Sort of a self-reinforcing issue.No idea what to do about it.', 'Very unhappy. But I can remember, even at a young age, deliberately making decisions that would make me Depressed mood - Hyperactive behavior refusing to go to a friends party, or whatnot. Seems Hyperactive behavior this streak has been with me for as long as I can recall, so Im not sure I can solely blame it on my bad experiences growing up.', 'Im in a remarkably similar situation - 24, Bipolar Disorder, wrestling with Mania Leukemia, Myelocytic, Acute and mixed states at the moment. I can totally identify with your frustration and Anger at the way the world is. Sometimes I feel Hyperactive behavior itd be better if I could just go on a Panic spree and Bulimia Nervosa the planet of all the idiots and morons that Plague our lives.But you know, that really wouldnt solve anything. Even long after were gone, stupid people will exist. So thinning the herd so to speak isnt all that productive, and it robs more or less innocent people of the chance to better themselves.Anyways... if youre still seeing your doctor, I strongly recommend you tell him or her about this. It sounds Hyperactive behavior youre having a very typical reaction to your medication which can be controlled by supplementing your regimen with a mood stabilizer. Ask specifically about mood stabilizers and antipsychoctics. Theyve done wonders for me personally. I still have those times when my brain is running a million miles an hour and going no place fast, but theyre few and far between, and only last a few hours now.Guess I just wanted to say that theres plenty of hope and theres a good (possible) solution to your situation. Hang in there.', 'Im Type I with ultradian rapid cycling (i.e. I can have several swings between extremes in a single day).Generally rapid cycling seems to be less well-understood by most doctors, even psychiatric specialists; I dont know why, but my guess is because its less common. Ive never heard a really good definition of what qualifies, but most rapid cyclers Ive heard of have pretty similar patterns, myself included.Less severe episodes are actually not uncommon either; not every single experience is either whacked-out Mania Leukemia, Myelocytic, Acute or deep depression. Probably 80% of my cycles (medicated or otherwise) are just abnormally Drug abuse or low moods (and other symptoms - energy levels etc.) and they occur fairly often, probably every couple of months or so. Really extreme episodes are maybe once or twice a year.In any case, though, definitely bring up your concerns with a psychiatrist. See if you can get a good talk therapist too; for a lot of people early in the Bipolar Disorder diagnosis/treatment process, it takes a long time to really wrap your mind around whats going on and come to accept it. The sooner you can become comfortable with a diagnosis and treatment plan the sooner you can start regaining control.', 'Meh. Ive given up on romantic relationships in general.I understand the sentiment though. I definitely get along a _lot_ better with people who have first-hand experience with mood disorders, because they at least know what _not_ to do when Im not perfectly even.There are rare occasional people who are ""normal"" and still somewhat understanding and supportive - but rare is the operative word.', 'Still here.Days are usually the easy part, though. Give me a couple hours to sit around at home and well see how it goes :-)', 'Give it time.Be there when you need to be, but _never_ push. When Im Depressed mood, any probing at all, no matter how well-intentioned, will make me extremely Anger and liable to do something very, very horrible.Trust is very hard to nurture, especially with BD (and the often-attendant PTSD). Take time, be gentle, and do what you can to be trustworthy.But please, please dont put pressure on her.', 'Ive had prolonged and excruciating problems with compliance. Sometimes I quit with some vague excuse, and other times I just... quit, no reason.One thing that helps me is to keep my meds in someplace unavoidable - in particular, I literally stack my bottles on top of my wallet and car keys. If I want to go anywhere or do anything, I have to plow through a pile of meds to do it.Ive come close to doing the chart and stickers thing many times, because I too will occasionally just forget, or make up excuses, or whatever else. Even a single missed dose means an unavoidable episode for me, so I always know when it happens - but not always immediately, which is annoying.So yeah... not sad at all. I completely understand.', 'I know the feeling.I just got back on my own medication after a two month lapse, and its hardly the first time in the past several years. All I can say is: dont try it. You will certainly be no better for it, and almost without question will go through a tremendous hell before realizing that youre better off with the treatment.That said, it may well be worth experimenting with different medications. Depakote gave me effects similar to what you describe (severe absent-mindedness, inability to focus, loss of short-term memory, etc.) and coming off it was the best thing I ever did medication-wise. And Reflex, Abnormal thought patterns can be a sign of chemically-prompted Hypomania or Mania Leukemia, Myelocytic, Acute, which is not uncommon when taking a Drug abuse dose of antidepressants compared to mood stabilizers.Im not nearly enough of an expert to dare suggesting any tweaks to your medication, but definitely talk this over with your doctor(s) and see what they think. There are tens of millions of combinations of medication out there, and chances are you can find one that works for you if you can stomach a little experimentation.Best of luck!', 'Bollocks. Whiskey helps everything ;-)I dont Hyperactive behavior the word ""from."" It implies a historical connection I never have had. So well say Im rather international, and I currently live on the west coast.', 'There is so much of me reflected in this that its kind of scary.I dont know what to say, mainly because Im stuck in the bottom of a very similarly black pit myself, and Im also looking for a lot of the same things.So have an internet hug instead. Its the best I can do. I hope it counts for something.', 'I dealt with a lot of Anger when I was first diagnosed. It just seemed so _unfair_ that I would get smacked with this while other people got by just fine. Even now, I still have some lingering bitterness that surfaces in the rougher times; Ill often (privately) mock people for their silly, petty, carefree lives who whine about first world problems and other nonsensical shit Hyperactive behavior that. I think what gets me the most is people who think they can understand without having gone through something Hyperactive behavior this firsthand; I have a thinly veiled but hatefully deep well of scorn and spite for those people.Sometimes I feel Hyperactive behavior the only people who I can talk to about this are in anonymous groups Hyperactive behavior this subreddit; even most of the doctors Ive had dont really pay enough attention to _me_ as an individual to merit being told all the little nuances of what Im dealing with. The broad strokes will suffice, thank you very much, and Ill tell you the symptoms so we can keep the prescriptions flowing, but frankly Ive only ever had one doctor I respected enough to be honest with about much.I cant understate the benefits of having that kind of support though. Someone who genuinely gets involved from a position of being _able_ to help will make a tremendous difference. One of my personal warning signs of a _bad_ doctor is someone who plays the pigeonhole game: oh, you have X, Y, and Z combination of symptoms, well throw A, B, and C drugs at it and never deviate. Doctors who are afraid of experimenting and helping you discover an effective treatment regimen are worthless. You deserve someone who will stick with you and figure out how to truly improve your quality of life, not just stuff you full of pills and tell you that ""hey, at least youre a _little bit_ better, right?""I was on Depakote for a long time and it totally killed my brain. I literally felt Hyperactive behavior I had the mental capacity of a child while I was on it. I couldnt think straight, couldnt speak clearly, and moved slowly and awkwardly. My doctor at that time insisted that I was fine and that I was just experiencing ""normalcy"" after years of Hypomania and mixed episodes. Eventually, after doing my own research on the medication, it became pretty obvious that he was full of shit and I fired him. One of the best decisions Ive ever made.Heres something Ive found that a lot of doctors are Social fear to tell you: despite the warnings about SSRI/SNRI antidepressants and triggering Mania Leukemia, Myelocytic, Acute, it _is_ possible to take them safely _in combination with other medications to manage the mania_. Ive done various permutations of Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Abilify, and Seroquel (SSRI, SNRI, and atypical antipsychotics, respectively) and they work pretty well. Now, thats not to say that the risk isnt real, and thats not to say it will work for everyone - but you have the right to find out for yourself, because frankly nobody can predict how youll respond to the medications.And honestly, as my favorite doctor of the past once put it, its far easier to bring someone down out of a mild Psychiatric symptom/Manic swing than to convince them to keep trying when theyre fully Depressed mood. His philosophy was to err on the side of making me feel better, and then tone things down and/or increase the controls from the other medications as necessary. For the last couple of years Ive been small doses of Lexapro and Wellbutrin daily, with varying doses of Abilify to respond to excessively Manic mood changes, and occasional Seroquel as a sort of ""emergency response"" to shut things down if they ever get out of control. It works pretty darn well, but I fired three different doctors before finding one who was even willing to propose such a cocktail, let alone stick with me long enough to find a mixture that worked.As to the big question... Ive made it this far out of pure rotten stubbornness. I figure it this way: someday or later, this goddamn disease might kill me. Most of the time I secretly suspect that when I die itll be self-inflicted. But every day, I tell myself this: it may get me eventually, and maybe thats inevitable. *But not today.*Not. Fucking. Today.And wouldnt you know it, 15 years on and Im still here. Maybe not the best outlook ever, but hey, it obviously worked.', 'Im not a professional, so take this with appropriate amounts of salt - but it definitely sounds Hyperactive behavior Hypomania to me. Im not deeply familiar with the symptoms of hyperactivity, so they may overlap substantially for all I know, but if I had to guess Id say you fall into the classic Type II category with rapid cycling.I have similar experiences with extremely short but Abnormal dreams episodes (although Im type I and go full Manic). Its frustrating because most of the medication out there seems targeted at long-term maintenance and finding something that can even out the hour-by-hour roller-coaster is tough.As for feeling blunted, I had very similar experiences with Depakote, and Ive heard that lamotrigine has that effect on a fair number of people. However, that said, a lot of medication has nasty side effects for the first few weeks of adjustment in my experience, and gradually gets better. I agree that you should give it some time; if you dont notice things returning to more or less normal in a few months, definitely talk to your doctor about changing up the regimen.Since your diagnosis is fairly recent, Ill just throw this out there: a lot of people find that it takes a _long_ time and many different combinations/levels of medication to find something that works well. Its also not uncommon to have to tweak things periodically even after you land on a good cocktail. So be prepared for the long haul and keep with it. Recording your reactions and moods with different medications can be immensely helpful; if youre Hyperactive behavior me, with memory falling apart rapidly from the combination of episodes and chemicals, having a written record can help a lot in figuring out what works and what doesnt.Its a long and complicated journey but its well worth taking, because you _can_ find a good balance between being yourself and not being overly symptomatic. Best of luck.', 'All familiar experiences... I really dont have much to say except good on you for finding an outlet, and for fighting to improve your life.', 'Also a possibility; Ive had some self-image issues in the past (complicated by the Bipolar Disorder stuff, obviously) and havent totally worked through all of that, so it could well be a factor.', 'Wanted to be. Got as far as filling out a few application forms and decided I couldnt lie about my psych profile. One of my best friends did a few tours in the Corps, and probably understands Hyperactive behavior nobody else I know what its Hyperactive behavior to live with a mortally wounded sense of humanity.Funny enough, I cant even blame combat experience for my situation. Im just fucked up in general. Maybe its a terrible thing to say, but I almost envy ",Attempt
user-360,"['I didnt graduate from Drug abuse school, in fact I dropped out halfway through my senior year. I was a year behind and couldnt stomach the thought of another year and being in the same grade as my younger brother and sister (twins). I also have ADHD, Anxiety problems, depression, the usual cocktail... Generally people Hyperactive behavior us are of higher than average intelligence, however the ""system"", specifically schools set us up for failure. \r\rIm 30 years old now and even though that was a very difficult, embarrassing time for me, college was different. I went to a community college, got my GED and went on to a 4 year school eventually. Now Im in a career I love, I started making six figures at 23 years old and my pay grade is equivalent to a full colonel in the US Military - (GS-13). I realize that doesnt Irritable Mood much to you unless your parents or a family member is a government employee, but for a kid that failed and dropped out of Drug abuse school to rise to the level Im at and achieve the things Ive achieved is a major, major victory.\r\rI know things seem hopeless, I have been in your shoes. I also know this will sound clich\xc3\xa9, but it gets better! College is easier for us ADHD folks, we can choose classes and a major(s) that interest us, and you know as well as I do, when were interested in something, focusing becomes very easy. The problem is Hyperactive behavior focus then, haha. Getting our attention on other things becomes problematic. \r\rDo whatever you have to do to make it through this year, if you can work out a plan to graduate, things will be easier. If not, a GED will get you into many state schools and all 2 year schools, from which you can transfer to a 4 year college/university. Find a major you LOVE, pour yourself into it and you will succeed. Try and ignore the ""haters"", including family, they dont understand, they CANT understand! Your brain and brain chemistry is fundamentally different from theirs in form and function. \r\rIf you give up, they win. If you beat the odds, swallow your pride, take your lumps and succeed despite the odds and what anyone says, you win. We all win. Hang in there, I Irritable Mood it when I say say, it gets better!!!']",Ideation
user-361,"['Your dad loves you. Call him and tell him youre having a hard time and need some help. If my son did this, I wouldnt feel the slightest bit of disappointment, Id be on that shit Hyperactive behavior a ninja paratrooper and wed fix that shit. You need him, but he needs you too.', 'I think so, yes.', 'Whatever you do, get the fuck out of that school. Its killing your soul and that is a wound that is tough to heal. I went to religious school my whole life, was basically ""indoctrinated""  Told how to think, what to believe, when to sit, stand, pray. I could go on and on. This is the time on your life for you to figure out who you are, not who someone else wants you to be. Tell your parents you love and respect them, but you need to do what is right for you. Try telling them your gay first to soften the blow, then say ""just kidding, Im not religious""Let us know how it goes', 'Dude, I do the same thing. It makes reading comprehension much easier. Im in my late 30s, so there was no ADHD, OCD diagnoses when I was a kid. It was you were bad, a spaz, too much sugar, etc. Its just a part of what makes me up, but I dont let it run my life.', 'Huzzah!', 'I think the book would have a different use for you. When you read it, it will help you understand the human dynamic. How people Hyperactive behavior to be spoken to, what tools you can use to change how you are perceived. Dont look at it as a video game strategy guide that will tell you exactly what to do, its more Hyperactive behavior a users manual.']",Supportive
user-362,"['No.', 'I dont trust anyone sadly.', 'If anything you were brave enough to try to reach out for help, Fuck him he can go to hell for all I care hes the fucking pussy.', 'Elementary.', 'I kinda think scars are pretty badass, youll never know someone until youve walked a mile in their shoes.', 'She was not my girlfriend, she made my life a living hell all because I am in her assigned group for the school year.']",Supportive
user-363,"['Even though I survived my attempt it still pains my dad to look at me sometimes. He feels Hyperactive behavior he failed as a father for letting me get to that point. So I have instead devoted my time to making it up to everyone and proving that it was never their fault and that I care for them. Every time I look at my scar I renew my promise to be better, for my friends and family.', 'My dad was a police officer for 14 years. He witnessed two suicides of guys he met about 2 minutes before they pulled the trigger. My friends always call my dad the most badass person they ever met and they dont know that 11 years later he still wakes up almost every night because he sees them occur in his dreams over and over again. It would be even worse for your family. There would bend ""getting over it"" for them. The reason you cant just do it is because your heart is telling you that you deserve to live and find a better solution than suicied. Being myself a Suicide survivor I can attest that I felt so much better when I looked and found that I wasnt just ""wanted"", but was ""needed"". And you are needed too. I can say with 100% certainty that somewhere there is a person whose life will cease to ever be happy or meaningful if you are gone. There is soo much good and greatness that you are capable of if you just look for it.', 'you should go outside and look at the stars. every star is someone somewhere we would love to meet you and talk to you and love you. you just havnt met them yet. these people would love to give you their 100%. and somewhere out there they are praying that you end up meeting them. you just need to be prepared to look long distances to find them. and remember, there are always more stars than meets the eye.', 'First off, format is non-existent on reddit. Second, I can actually say I understand the young age Mental Depression you had. I suffered from it too. Sitting there just hating myself and wondering why because I didnt even have a reason. Then getting so pissed that I didnt and becoming more Depressed mood. But I have never faced a delimna of not being satisfied with my gender I can say there are parts of me that I can never be happy with or ever want. It sucks being stuck in that situation, having to pick between what is allowed and what you want. Another thing you must realize is that we as humans were made to never fully be happy with ourselves. We are constant self demotivaters. And to be honest while I can say I couldnt personally entertain the the thought of getting a sex change, I find absolutely nothing disgusting about it.And I can tell you right now, YOUR PARENTS WILL ALWAYS PICK YOU OVER ANYBODY ELSE. Even their own parents. If not then they are terrible parents. you are the most important thing in their lives. But a way I would suggest telling them is by getting them alone and telling them one at a time. If you can convince one of them that this is what you really want then you can get their support in telling the other. Divide and conquer as the British always put it.And as for you ending it, there is not a worse decision to be made. Can you imagine how everyone would feel? There are people who only glance at you whenever you walk by who would feel terrible because they feel Hyperactive behavior should have stopped and talked to you. And they probably should. But not everything works the way it should. We just need to know that it isnt our fault. I tried distracting myself with video games for a while too. And books and all manner of entertainment. But what you have to do is just go out and start talking. And find somebody who likes to listen.  You may find somebody who you have never seen or heard of before and realize that they are all it takes to make you happy. I found someone who was the only person who could make me completely forget all the bad things that I have done. And you know what? We later ended up not even working our relationship out. It soured and ended rather badly. But you know that kind of excites me, because that means there is someone who fits me even better than her out there waiting to meet me. There is always someone who will be perfect for you. Who will love and cherish you the way you are or want to be. They just dont want to find out that you committed Suicide. They want to know that you are searching for them, waiting for them.Now coming out will Chest Pain your family. But it will make it stronger over time too. It will prove to all of your family that they know they can trust each other and you will all love each other more.  But if you kill yourself now, they will never be able to heal. The body can recover from a cut, but not the loss of a limb. You are a very important and desperately needed limb. Now you have to eat and Hypersomnia and be strong. It hurts to wait. But I found out that the wait is well worth it. Now I cant tell you how to block out those feelings of Mental Depression and loneliness. Everyone suffers and  heals differently. But I would suggest hanging around friends and trying to find new friends, even if they live nowhere near you.  But the more you talk to them, the more you may realize that your friends are as dependent upon your safety and well being as they are on oxygen. There is no substitute for ""you"".', 'It wont be a relief for others. It will be a nightmare. A nightmare that will follow a large number of them around for the rest of their lives.I found out long ago that nothing is inevitable. I stabbed myself in the heart just over a year ago, and am still alive today. I still dont know how I lived through it but I realized that killing myself would make everything worse. You dont have to believe in god or Mohamed or anything, but you do have a purpose for existing. Neither god, nor Mohamed nor Mother Nature, ever makes a mistake. There are reasons for everything. And those reasons want you to keep living.And the Ache does go away. It may take a while, maybe decades, but it will go away. And when it is gone it is the sweetest thing you can ever imagine. But that doesnt come 100% naturally, it needs your help and effort. Just hang in there and you will one day see what I mean. Peace, hope and love. Dont give up.', 'Agree, the more people that can be there for her the better. Maybe keep it to a number that she can definitely feel close to all of them. But there should be multiple to give her support.', 'both you and your sister should write letters/lists about how kind and how important of a person he is to you. you also need to make sure your sister does not beat herself up over this. she should resolve to be more visibly Disturbance in attention to him so he knows he is loved. but she cannot put all the blame on herself. being a registered Mental Depression i can account that we usually hide our Mental Depression and then randomly get upset and more Depressed mood when others dont see it. but the best thing for her to do is to hug him as tight as possible when she sees him again. we may hate it at first but us Depressed mood really being held in the long run. personally i have never liked being stroked while being hugged. it made me feel Hyperactive behavior an animal or an object rather than a human. but when somone held me so tight and close Hyperactive behavior they could never bear to let me go again, that made me feel much be more alive and wanted.', 'Killing yourself does not get rid of the Ache. It is the worst right at the end and thats what it stays at if you die. The worst torment imaginable of having less than no hope. In your last second you get hit with the knowledge that you committed the ultimate failure. I can guarantee you that ending it for yourself will only bring Ache. No happiness. No relief. No sanction. Just so much more Ache. And the internal shame that follows it.', 'Life can just be stressful cant it? What you should try is journaling. But this journal is a ""purely positive"" journal. Write in it every day, sometimes more. And what you should write about are all the good things that happened or existed that day. For example, you could start by writing about how loving and caring your family is. Then talk about how nice the weather is and how a random person smiled at you nicely for no reason other than to just smile. You will find that there is so much that can cheer you up by continually looking on the bright side.Also remember that all the responsibilities you have come with somebody depending on you, and while they may not be able to show it, they are extremely grateful to have somebody as awesome as you in there lives to help them along. We all have our struggles, but some of us do get tasked harder. And thats because those that do are stronger and more enduring than a normal person. You are a great contribution to those around you, please dont ever forget that.Now as for the lorazepam, I personally have never trusted man made pills to fully fix what we were given by nature. What you have to do is try to find Hypothermia, natural solutions, Hyperactive behavior more exercise or righter light bulbs (which are actually very helpful). And it is more than ok to ask for a little break from everyone every now and then. But keep in mind that there is no perfect solution and there will always be low times. But we prove our worth by showing how far we can climb out of the ""low"" spots.Happy New Years.  Persevere', 'as proof of \xc2\xa8flaws\xc2\xa8 being agood thing, did you know humans became hairless as a result of uncleanliness. that led to the developement of clothes and helped us better bond into cultures.  Also humans brains developed as a result of the greed flaw. we were ettracted to fatty foods and sugars that helped form our brain matter and nerves. we as humans are supposed to be flawed. these flaws are what helps us be individuals and not brainless drones. you have so much to give to all the world that only YOU can give because of your specific flaws. so much that they are a gift.', 'Left and came back to this page 30 times and never saw it till you pointed it out. Thats how insignificant typos are. If it would make you feel better, listen to the problems of those who listen to yours. And try to help them figure theirs out. You dont have to have amazing solutions, they will feel so much better just from knowing that your listening. They will appreciate you so much more. You are a vital part of EVERYTHING around you. Keep on trying. And enjoy having the new year. Because it certainly enjoys you.', 'The answer is not to kill yourself. The answer is to find those things, those people in life that make you feel good.(not drugs). You have to deal Hyperactive behavior the rest of us do, endure. It will be depressing at some points. Even a majority of the time. But you have to keep trying. Because there will be a time when you no longer feel Hyperactive behavior this. When all there is, is happiness. Happiness so good it will have been well worth the effort. Happiness that feels too good to be real, and then you realize that it is. Peace, love and hope my friend. Dont give up.', 'have a ""faith night"". on that night you get your friends together and you show your faith in them by truthfully answering any and all questions they ask.i did it and there was one question i was one question i was Anxiety they were going to ask. when they were done after a million questions, i asked why they didnt ask that one. they replied that the answered didnt matter to them. they still loved me.what you really need to do is show your friends and family that you love them through your actions.  by doing that youll see how much they actually NEED you. you are worth more than a note and a bathtub. dont sell yourself short.']",Attempt
user-364,"['It sounds Hyperactive behavior we have similar experiences and personalitiy types. Ive done a lot of self reflecting. A lot a lot. My philosophy, perspective, and personality have all improved by leaps and bounds since the break up. The most profound moment was a month in when I realized and sympathized with why she chose to leave me. Like you said, I was a Depressed mood boyfriend in certain ways. I always did the best that I could, but over the years I became complacent and my insecurity and sadness made me selfish. I really Chest Pain her. I realized that I broke her heart long before she broke mine.The odds of us having a relationship again are slim to none. She lives 3 hours away from me and is top in her class at one of the most prestigious universities in the world. Im a Drug abuse school drop out and deliver pizzas. Shes in a serious relationship with a girl and has moved on.Ill reply to everything as long as there are things to reply to. I dont know what I will do today. or tomorrow if there is a tomorrow. Answers:1. She may agree to speak with me, but really, all a conversation Hyperactive behavior that will do is cause her anxiety, flashbacks and pain. It would distance her from me even more. Our last communication was 4 months ago (today, actually). I wrote her a long letter validating her decision after I fully embraced why she needed to do what she did. But she firmly stands by her decision. I wish I could talk to her about this. I wish it would Irritable Mood something.2. Not a lot. I skipped school a lot in Drug abuse school and just sat alone in my room messing around on the internet. She saw something in me that no one else had ever tried to see, and she made an effort to get to know me. Without her, I would have killed myself years ago.3. Ive always wanted to travel and see the world. Ive always wanted to pursue acedemia at a university. I always wanted to inspire others...to make a positive impact.', 'Thanks for responding. I wish I could let you peak into my head so you could understand. I have no Phobia, Social skills. I have no ability to fall in love. Im alone and doomed to be alone. She was my first major relationship, true, but it was one that I know cannot be matched. I just cannot keep going on with out her. I love her so much and Im just a bad memory for her.The longer I live, the more bad memories pile up and intensify. I need to get away from them. I need to escape. ', 'hey.im not most people. the poets and philosophers, all those who pondered death and love and loss of love...theyre not me. for the longest time I drew strength from such things, now I see that this is something that I cant overcome. I cannot replicate the healing process others seem to grasp so easily.Im trapped in my memories. All I can do is think of her. I often catch myself smiling as I remember a fond memory...then I break into tears. I cant do this.']",Ideation
user-365,"['Wow. That is truly terrible. You make it sound as though its her that really has the issues. Im starting to think you were just unlucky meeting your ex and youre realizing shes actually Megacolon, Toxic human being. I should be careful saying things Hyperactive behavior that, but yours is the only perspective I have to go by. Please dont be offended by this, but her leaving you was probably the best thing for you. The big thing is how to stay a part of your girls lives. Having been a kid once, I can tell you I started thinking for myself around my mid teens. I think most kids start to realize not everything their parents say is actually true. Then it begins. You start wondering ""How much of it was true"". You start thinking back on all the things they said. Ice cubes dont float because theyre cold and want to be closer to the sun. Some things were right, but enough wasnt that I went out of my way to form my own conclusions. I feel its bound to happen for them. For now, even if they are supervised, be there anyway. Eventually theyll get Nausea of maw hanging over them telling them what to say. Someday, they might even ask you why you made their mom Crying Reflex, Abnormal. Theyll wonder what was really going on, and theyll reform an old opinion of their dad.I cant offer you any parenting advice beyond that. Im not a father and things arent looking favorable in that department for me. But I am the child of parents. Ive realized being a parent is such an incredibly bumpy road. What to do right. What to say when. All parents will make mistakes. Probably lots and lots of them, but at the end of the day, making mistakes or making successes isnt your job as a parent. Your job is to be supportive and love your children unconditionally. Theyll forgive you for your mistakes, but theyll love you for always being there whenever they need you.Try to always have some way for them to be in contact with you. Weather the storm of supervised visits for now. Even if its just emailing back and forth, its something. They sound too young right now for things Hyperactive behavior that, but the day will come faster than you think.', 'Oh.. I see. Your wife is vilifying you in the eyes of her children. An incredibly rotten thing to do to the father of your children. Hate this because I told you to hate this! I dont know you guys so I dont know if its a justifiable course of action on her part... but I know its Depressed mood.I think you both might be selling your daughters short if you think they wont bother to form their own opinions in do time. Isnt there some legal course of action you can take where the court forbids a parent from moving across the country? I think you have a strong case since you can provide a much more stable atmosphere to raise kids in. Dont count yourself out of the parenting race just yet. Youre not done being a father just because of a divorce. Youll always be a father for as long as your girls live. Theyll need you less and less if they had good parents, but for most people, parents are Hyperactive behavior anchors to their kids. Losing a parent is Hyperactive behavior being a tight rope performing and losing your security net. Theyre only little girls still. Personally, I would live a life that contradicts all the negativity my vengeful ex says. Live by action of good virtue. If she tells them the sky is green and they see in fact that it is not green at all... Its Hyperactive behavior in a way shes giving you all you need to prove you are a good man and a good father. Like in involuntary set up. I think you owe it to yourself and and girls to prove everyone wrong. If you cant keep them from moving to Florida, people are much more connected over long distances now-a-days. You can chat online face to face or play games with a headset and mic together. You can insure you will always be available day to day for them and maybe still have some fun together in the process. I think youre in a better position to turn things around then you realize. Thats emotions for you. At first they overpower everything else. Then rational reasoning and logic pummel it into submission. Its just a matter of waiting for that Anger truck to crest that dune and crush those cars. I hope you rock the heck out of 2014. 13 was an unlucky number. ', 'Its hard not to see things Hyperactive behavior that though. Its the most simplest way try to trivialize someones problems by pointing out others have it worse or people with the same problem overcoming it. I wish I could say I was better than that, but Im guilty of it as well. I read posts here written by sad people, but they say they have this or that and actually seem to be doing quite well.. aside from their sadness. Its something Ive been on both ends of though. Perhaps as a benefit of dealing with it personally, Im far more understanding and compassionate about other peoples issues. Two people can have the same problem but one can solve it and the other can not. How can the problem be worse if its the same? Its almost Hyperactive behavior theyre not problems so much as mental barriers that are thinner for some and thicker for others. Some can walk through it Hyperactive behavior its tissue paper or even air, and others can hammer at it for years and year. Even indefinitely.I would mirror what the others have said, but they said it better than I could. If your normal friends wont listen, there are people online that will.', 'Im not sure how to say this without it coming across as negative but Ill say it anyway, she comes across as selfish and immature. Even playing games with you. She isnt being understanding or compassionate about your feelings or problems. She just compounds them and makes it worse, even preying on it. Seems Hyperactive behavior you even realize that. Shes shrugging you off and dismissing your feelings and prioritizing her own. I dont know you but she probably does. She probably thinks you wont do anything to jeopardize the relationship.Youve a far greater tolerance threshold than me. I obviously dont have the benefit of not being in that position, but being a compliment dispenser and ego booster to someone Hyperactive behavior that would wear thin real quick. Then again, she could be some sort of genius and is willingly giving you valid reasons to get over her so its easier for you. That would be impressive actually. Anyway, I Forgetfulness the name of the movie, but there was a line Michael Cain said that really hit me. Being an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult isnt about doing the things you want do, its about doing the things you dont want to do. Unless she turns out to be a manipulative genius, its clear youre the only Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult in this scenario. Im at a bit of a loss to be honest. I find it wasteful to toss away people I have a long history with. Putting in all that work and effort for nothing. Investment of time with zero returns. Sure sometimes its for the best, but other times I dont want to lose it. If she really wants to be your best friend and isnt just saying it to placate you, she needs to start taking you much more seriously. Best friends dont generally blow you off so easily. Maybe her definition of the term is looser than mine.I hope you come out alright from this. If you have to walk through the living room while she watches tv to pack boxes or a suitcase/bags into your car for her to get the message. Actions speak louder than words. Might make her start taking you more seriously. Good luck. This is one of those really crappy ugly life hurdles not everyone is fortunate enough to get to tackle. When you do triumph over this one though, the others might be a cake walk. ', 'How did you end up in such an isolated location? You make it sound Hyperactive behavior your in one of those old 1930s scientific huts they set up in the arctic to study ice or blistering cold wind. You did say up here. Sounds Hyperactive behavior at one point you were not so isolated? A new job in a new city?I cant agree that youre a fuck up if you have you own place (although isolated and surrounded by ice and snow) and also net access. Seems Hyperactive behavior youve done some things right. I wish I could never celebrate another birthday personally. If you have no reference in time to mark against yourself, or you dont have birthdays, could you live younger and longer if you arent any older? Science should find out and just prove birthdays are bad for you once and for all so I can have an easier time getting out of them. If you didnt know/forgotten your birthday and someone asked you how old you were, youd say I dunno. Its up to your mind to be however old you think you might be. But if you know beyond any doubt your 35 for example. Youll try and force yourself to be 35. Its tough to talk about life. Everyone has their own thoughts on it. Philosophy I guess is the word. Recently, and Ive thought about this topic for over 2 decades, I have to ask myself why we have to label points on everything. If grass grows out in a meadow where nothing will ever eat it, its still grass. It exists. Not everything has to be overly analyzed and given purpose and point and significance. Like interpreting dreams. Its a waste of everyones time. That said, I think its different individually. Some people give themselves a point to existing and try to better society. Invent computers and tablets and airplanes. Other people will type on a computer, maybe use a tablet, and perhaps fly on an airplane some day. Some people will make a difference in the majorities mind, others will sit at home all day and get Drug abuse. The point is points are trivial. They matter only as much as they matter on an individual basis. Its devoting importance to something that questionably doesnt need none. Like human sacrificing atop Drug abuse temples to make the sun rise or the crops grow. Thats why this is one of those topics that weve been blabbering on through out human history. Its obvious if no conclusion has been made by now, there is no right answer to life. You could simply simplify everything and just try to be happy. Easier on paper, not always in practice. I dont have to invent some world ending bomb, space travel super engines, whatever. Just be happy in the pursuit of happiness. Some days youll break even between sad and happy. Most moments might be sad. But if Zombieland teaches anything, its the small things that matter. The small things that make all the difference.', 'Hi. Please dont take my opinion as written law from upon Drug abuse. Its just my humble opinion on a few of the things youve said. They are what I personally believe.1. Intelligence is a curse. If you couldnt think things Hyperactive behavior this up, wouldnt you be happy? Im sure youve heard the old saying ""Ignorance is bliss""? I firmly believe it to be truth. The less you know about how everything works, the more joy youll get out of life. Just as a few examples-Chocolate! MMm... contains feces and bug parts-the beach! Yay! Mostly poop death and bacteriaSome of the happiest people on Earth live in the poorest places. If youre poor, you dont receive a good education, yet their among the happiest people on Earth? There is nothing wrong in knowing what you want to know. If people put you down for not knowing everything, theyre not good people.I cant comment much on your appearance... but I can say that most everyone is their biggest critic. Actually, I can say with almost complete faith that youre not ugly. It doesnt matter what you think you look Hyperactive behavior but what others think you look Hyperactive behavior. There are 7,000,000,000 people walking this Earth. Trust me, the odds that several hundred millions of people think you look damn good are quite Drug abuse. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.As far as girls go... girls are weird man. Since theyre not all the same, theyre tough to really pin down. I can say that if a woman loves you, its usually for the person you are inside that theyre attracted to, not so much outside Hyperactive behavior it is for quite a bit of guys. At least the women you should be interested seem to follow that train of thought. If they Hyperactive behavior you for your personality, suddenly your the most attractive guy on the dance floor.Of course you can change your face without surgery, but you can change your body. Not overnight, but it benefits you in a number of ways.-The ladies love strong arms. There was a video on youtube where they hid a tiny camera on a Genital Diseases, Male model and had him approach random women and they would track the movement of their eyes to determine the first thing they notice about a man. Arms was number 1. -Google ""Runners High"". it exists. Its a thing. Regular exercise makes you feel better over all. Hell... I absolutely hate working out, but it helps me stay in a better frame of mind then if I dont. So please.... dont beat yourself up over these things. Take inventory of how you are now. You have work. You have income. You probably have a car to get to work? You voluntarily read scientific articles? You have a desire to improve yourself? My friend... you are far from the piece of shit that you think you are. Id honestly say your ahead of the game. \xe2\x80\x9cI dont know what my IQ is. People who gloat about their IQs are losers\xe2\x80\x9d\xe2\x80\x95 Stephen Hawking ', 'Its more ""you could have everything to live for"". Some people are aggravatingly lucky in life and dont have to work for their dreams to fall in their lap. Others have to bust their ass and then some and may never find it. When someone says life is unfair... thats what theyre talking about. So youre right. Telling you you have everything to live for probably wont make a difference if youre not willing to find reasons to live for.Lately, Ive been on the fence as to whether being alone is actually a bad thing. Maybe Ive simply been alone so long that its become my Hypothermia, natural state of being and Im just accepting that reality. I can tell you though that the only thing in all the world I want is that perfect someone to grow old with. Its Hyperactive behavior the one thing thats forbidden to me. Like Im chained up and its just out of reach. There it sits glowing a golden shine. I wish I could tell you how exactly I deal with it, but the main thing is that I simply dont give a fuck anymore. Im currently in no position to do jack squat about it and Im so pessimistic that Ill ever find it even if I can. So... bleh. Whatever. Yes... it creeps up on me some days and makes things unpleasant. Its never been the thing that makes me Crying Reflex, Abnormal though.Depending on what kind of companionship youre looking for and whether or not you have a method of transportation, I think for you at least its a matter of finding a place to put yourself where there are lots of people. Christmas was the first time Id Ventricular Dysfunction, Left the house in almost a year because I live in the boonies and dont have a car. Anyway, if you have the means, then its about finding the ways right? All you gotta do now is put yourself around people, flex your biceps and wink a bit, hope for the best. Doesnt work out? Move Hyperactive behavior the suave nomad you may be to greener pastures and try there.I wish I could tell you where to go and be but I dont know, and I dont know what you would Hyperactive behavior. I do know however that there are groups doing things all over the damn place. The hard part is finding them. Theres moviephiles that see movies together and discuss it latter, theres book clubs, comedy troupes, new job, cooking classes, dance classes, etc, yada yada yada.In the meantime, work on improving yourself. Sculpt yourself into someone worth being with. You proooobably dont have to. Lots of people would love and accept you for who you are now, but its not entirely for them either. Standing yourself enough to be alone with yourself is something a lot of people never achieve. I feel Hyperactive behavior its something that should allow you to place yourself on a higher pedestal then people that cant. Like someone who has attained true independence. You dont >NEED!!< constant companionship with any random shmuck you dont even care about. Im doing a crap job explaining probably what I Irritable Mood so Ill stop there to avoid embarrassing myself further.', 'Im sorry. You were quite vague so I dont really know how to appropriately respond. What I can say is that 1-way love is not love. I can also say that women prefer men that have been in prior relationships. Its an attractive quality the majority of the time. My point is, you probably wouldnt be alone or unloved for very long. If youre wife is really going to move on, then you are certainly just as capable. Life is all together to short. Most good guys will always love the mother of their children. My point is, if you love her then you should want for her to be happy. As the father of her children, she should want the same. Move on. Im sorry if thats too blunt or bordering on tough love but if your relationship isnt salvageable and one of you isnt interested in making it work and fixing the broken wagon wheel, theres really nothing else for you to do then is there?Im not going to disclose my life to you, but I will say this and I might get in trouble for it... if this was a lawless world, Id save you the trouble and assume your identity. Sorry if thats a bit callous. You have far far too much to just flush it down the crapper. Maybe if you never had a wife. Never had kids. Never attained financial stability and security. Never had a home. Never this and never that. But you do. You have all those things and you can have that 1 thing again. Maybe even better with someone willing to work on the relationship because you are worth it to them.Again, I apologize if I came across as insensitive. I understand this temp life change is getting you down. Its definitely a big one. But all I see is happiness in your future. Its difficult talking about this without upsetting someone or stepping over the line. I cant wrap my brain around why you want to die. You sound Hyperactive behavior a winning tiger blooded Adonis of society. Is it to spite or Chest Pain her for leaving you?You say youre too in love. You are choosing not to move on. Not to move on now. Is that what you would choose 1-2 years from now? Id say taking time to yourself and not moving on is the healthy thing to do. Id think something was wrong with you if you replaced your wife within a month. Taking time to collect yourself is normal and healthy. The hopeful in me does wish you could sit down with your wife and work it out. Does she know how much you love her? Do you tell her or show her with romantic feats? Have you guys considered relationship counseling? If she is willing to work then work man. If shes cheating on you then how could you love her so much still? Well anyway. Id wish you the best of luck, but I genuinely believe that if you dont kill yourself, you probably wont need my good wishes. I know the old other fish in the sea adage is Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder to hear, but you sir are a god darn marlin. Dont think of it as the end. Think of it as the beginning of something potentially better. Thats what it can be if you let it.I change my mind. I will wish you good luck. I dont care if you dont need it. Youll fall through the ringer of a broken heart. Itll be hard. But youll come out the other end stronger and better. Its the start of a new year. ', 'I have a friend that has told me similar stories. She would tell me that shed lock herself in her soon and avoid knives because she was afraid of Depressed mood herself and other people. Like an overwhelming sensation to go stab Abnormal behavior had washed over her. Shed sit trapped in her room for over a week sometimes. I never got that. It isnt something I personally ever experienced. Maybe its a female thing.I cant really tell from what you said what is the cause of your sadness.""mfw my friends dont know shit about how much I want to kill myself""If you cant talk to your friends and comfort each other in hard times than maybe theyre not the quality of friends that deserve you.""mfw I literally got told at my party by someone that they dont respect me because Im still a virgin.""Fuck em. No not literally. Thats one Depressed mood close minded person. Look, I dont want to trivialize this for you but youre only 20. Not only that but youre not a guy. Society views virgin females with a much more forgiving eye than males. Trust me. Guys are outcast from the human species if  theyre still virgins after 25. All because Depressed mood media and brain dead sheeples making mountains out of nothings.I would stop broadcasting it to everyone though. Its a personal thing and sadly because its a topic of fierce scrutiny, a secretive thing. The only person you should ever tell is the guy/girl youve been dating and becoming close with. If they have feelings for you, they wont care. That goes for 30, 40, 50+ year old virgins as well. The people that matter dont care.""mfw someone was really Depressed mood at my party and every time I saw them I wanted to stab myself and scream because I wasnt allowed to show myself not having a good time because then people will just assume Im being a jealous bitch.""Its surprising hearing about a Depressed mood person throwing parties. Im not gonna do the others. Im starting to feel Hyperactive behavior "" max dose of anti depressants"" could be the problem. Just Hyperactive behavior they recommend getting a 2nd opinion with your health issues, so to should they for mental health issues. I think its pretty clear these anti depressants arent working and could even be compounding the problem. I cant guarantee that they are, but it may be worth talking to your doc about it. Or a different doc altogether. Also, and I was apprehensive about typing this, it seems some how to me that youre maybe slowly realizing the things you thought were important in Drug abuse school are slowly revealing themselves to be the true petty bullshit things that they really were. The real world hits a lot of people Hyperactive behavior... well Hyperactive behavior the world came Drug withdrawal syndrome down on you. Seeking the attention and acceptance of crappy people. Putting on a fake mask for those around you. Not losing your virginity at 15. All crap. Im probably grasping at the few straws you gave me but, it seems Hyperactive behavior your just slowly coming to terms with that. Waving bye to an old life and not knowing much about forging a new one, but the old ways are familiar ways? pthpthtp... maybe Im just blowing hot air by this point. Anyway, I truly wish you the best. I hope you can find that unseen rope in the dark and pull yourself out of the stinky hole. One last thing! Males are easy. Im one I know. Dont just give it to any Irritable Mood that sees you as a challenge or a conquest because he found out your a virgin. Save revealing that to them till later dates. Find someone that loves you first. Not loves taking your virginity. Theres a difference. 1 is a person of quality. The other is a shit ball douchie-fruit that will brag about it to his bros and kick you to the curb when hes done with you. Dont be afraid to pm people here and strike up a convo. Probably not so much with me since as you might have guessed, we dont have a lot to relate to lol. Maybe Kate though. You guys could pwnt noobs in free internet games Hyperactive behavior TF2 or dota or whatever. Try to have a little fun day to day. It really helps. I hope things start looking brighter. ', 'Its odd you mention faith but talk about suicide. Im with you though. I think theres something to be said about a couple that goes the distance. Probably why Im not married myself. I havent read the Bible in a long long time, but I dont find its reasonable by dealing in such absolutes or offering a guide on how to handle a failing relationship. More of a grin and bear it no matter how sad and Depressed mood it makes both of you. Human beings are fickle. We can believe one thing today and another a month from now. We can think someone is perfect for us and realize latter theyre not. It is no ones fault, its in our nature. However, I do think its more than possible to find that person that will go the long haul with you. I Irritable Mood, you can see couples that have done it. Its a definite possibility and simple (lol) matter of finding it.If you do decide some day to be loved again, this experience will have taught you a great deal you could employ in your next. You can try to insure the next one is seriously in it to win it. To grow old with you and help you spoil your grand kids. Dont be in such a rush to put a ring on someone. That Beyonce song is a load of crap. You can get a better feel for things next time. See if her parents are still together. Kids with their original parents generally try to make a relationship work because thats what they grew up around. More so if even their grandparents are still together. It is what the know to do ingrained from birth. Anyway, I hope you decide to try again. You cant be a man of faith up until it stops suiting you. I would also have to mirror what the others have said of your children. I dont know what ages they are, but giving them money and them knowing how to invest it wisely are two separate things. My brothers girlfriend lost her mother to a traffic accident. She doesnt work. She wont ever work. She lives off a trust fund made from her mothers life insurance money. She hasnt grown into an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult. Incredibly immature. She isnt progressing and growing as an individual because shes been exempted from having to deal with real life problems Hyperactive behavior dealing with Irritable Mood coworkers or not getting her way 100% of the time. Dont let her know this but, shes a terrible human being.I mentioned kids who grew up with their original parents are used to following in their footsteps.http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/04/21/suicide.children.hereditary/The loss of your life will leave significant ripples. It will have negative repercussions and inflict a deep wound. Its part of my inability to understand why you want to give up. You have way way too much now that I dont see how you could have the luxury of taking your life anymore. It would cause an incredible amount of pain.I understand not wanting to be around to see her happy. Ho boy. That would suck. Of course thats assuming she actually gets to be happy. Thats something thats kinda up in the air. If she isnt someone willing to make relationships work, shell have a far harder time with it then you will. Anyway, you dont have to die to never see someone again. Kids and trading custody stops when the youngest is over 18 right? Then you wont ever see her again with some luck because she isnt dropping the kids off anymore. She doesnt even have to get out of the car and see you. She could even make them walk from up the street. You can put further distance between each other as well. I Irritable Mood, Ive seen people at the grocery store a mile down the road that Ive never seen again ever. You dont have to go to such extremes as shutting your eyes and singing LALALALALACANTHEARULALALA!! to block someone out. Its much more easier than that. This is most assuredly a low spot in your life, but you have many potential Drug abuse spots to look forward to if you allow it. Im guessing your kids are still young. You seem to have gotten the short stick and ended up as the disciplinary parent lol? Your wife the fun one? Well, just as humans are fickle, so to especially are kids. They cant see that what you do for them is actually for their benefit until theyre old enough to reflect back on it and put the pieces together.', 'Its not so much about giving someone reasons as it is showing them that theyre reason for not arent as good as they think. Like you cant tell someone you know nothing about that friends and love is super awesome when they might be much more attuned to being lone wolfs that prefer to live in the forest and befriend loyal animals. Some people put career over family. Everyone is different. Thats what makes everything so hard. An answer isnt really an answer so much as a potential hinted suggestion. An upward inflectioned ""maaaybeee diisss?""I tend to over simplify everything to make things as easy as I can. If someone is sad, the first thing they should do is go Sherlock on that shit and get to the bottom of it. Deduce the reason for being sad. Figuring out the cause is the most important part of pursuing a solution. I Hyperactive behavior to think most people that are sad can do this on their own. Usually the problem isnt as difficult to see as once they start looking. The big problem is when they cant.Depression has many causes. It can stem from so many variables. Maybe its your life situation. Maybe its a rocky relationship. Maybe its a hidden medical problem. Maybe its a genetic defect. Maybe its a chemical imbalance. Maybe its simply a vitamin D deficiency. Seeing problems in your life are far more visible than most the rest of these things and even professionals arent always interested in getting to the root of the cause. The first psychiatrist I talked to talked to me for 15 minutes and was already willing to prescribe me brain altering drugs in that short span of time. So, for a lot of people, the struggle really is finding someone genuinely interested in helping them. Not doping them up to ensure steady appointments to help pay off their summer home. If I made a list, it would look Hyperactive behavior this:1. Yourself2. Friends3. Family maybe. Personally I have closer relationships with friends4 Religious authority figure if you follow a particular faith.5. Therapist. Talk to a couple till you find one that hits your fancy. A therapist cant prescribe drugs usually. They mostly listen and provide feedback and everything said is confidential. Good ones are willing to work with you if you dont have insurance or its not covered by your insurance.6. Doctor. Get blood work done and a general check up. Maybe something internal is on the fritz7. Psychologist. Id only suggest them as a last desperate resort. Hopefully a good one that doesnt try to prescribe pills to you in the first 15 minutes. Find one that is more interested in finding the root of the problem then blanketing it or enuring job security.I dont discount the possibility that an individual can have solid well thought out valid reasons to not live. However, since there is so much a person can do to fix/work/improve their life that it makes your head spin... its incredibly incredibly rare. Even going into the extremes.This isnt for the Syncope of heart, and if medical abnormalities make you queasy, then I suggest you ignore this next sentence. Google Dede Koswara. Heres is a man I might say miiiiight have had good reasons if he ever even had any at some point, but once his story broke out, people the world over reached out and showed this man people are amazing. Its Hyperactive behavior he stood on the edge of an ocean and couldnt swim, then everyone voluntarily threw themselves into the water to form a bridge to help him get to the other side. Now he has aspirations to marry some day and see his grandchildren.It goes to show the lengths the better side of humanity will go to to help another. With the rapid advancement of medical science, I dont think its outside the realm of possibilities that Dede will some day be cured of his affliction. If this man can stay positive and hopeful...I think most the population naturally has a programmed desire to live and preserve life. Especially mammals. its a Hypothermia, natural instinct thats difficult to overcome. All the people that have attempted to here and either pulled themselves back or looked for any reason not to should be proof of that. Its a powerful force of nature in all of us. We wouldnt be here now as a species without it. I hit a deer 3 years ago coming home from Christmas at night going 77 mph. Totaled the car. Deer got up and actually made a run for the tree line. Almost made it. Would have made it if it could. In a way, were kinda Hyperactive behavior Terminators. ""I can not self terminate."" lol thats hilarious. Anyway, Im all done. Sorry for being so long winded. I hope some of it was insightful though for you. Have a better year this year. Good luck. :]', 'Hiya. A lot of what you said almost mirrors perfectly with myself. Hell, Im even the same age. Spooky.I have a real problem personally with leaving",Supportive
user-366,"['Every night I go to bed hoping and wishing so much that I just wont wake up in the morning, brain aneurism or something, and every time I wake up it hurts that I have to go through another day. Suicide is a Ache in the ass and just not existing would be nice. But unfortunately the world seldom works out Hyperactive behavior that and if you want something done right you have to do it yourself.If youre not willing to kill yourself I would suggest trying to get your life back on track. You dont want to work harder to get out of the rut and I dont blame you. Not one fucking bit. But what other choice do you have? People have been telling me to just take one day at a time. Maybe try that?', 'Im sorry this happened to you. Thats shitty. Im not going to tell you not to kill yourself, but I will let you know that HIV, although still a serious problem, is not the death sentence it used to be.If you take the time to look into it youll find people can live out pretty normal lives with it. And that there are people that will use protection with someone positive, or that there are other HIV positive people looking for love.Before you kill yourself you should at least report that guy to the police.and maybe look into going into foster care or a government halfway house etc. wouldnt hurt.', 'Ive been seriously thinking about making a noose myself for a few days now. I dont really have any advice. I just wanted you to know that youre not alone in your thoughts.', 'I dont know where you are, but in Canada you can walk into any hospital emergency room and get help for a psychiatrist. I did it just the other day.', 'Ive tried the knife to the heart one. Its not as painless as you think. If youre just trying to force it in your own body will stop you. And youd be surprised at how much you can bleed until you bleed out.I know how you feel though. I think theres many of us here that do.It looks Hyperactive behavior youre having gender identity issues as well. Try living Hyperactive behavior a girl for a while and see if it helps. Full dress, wig, makeup everything. People might treat you better.', 'I dont know what to say, Im kind of in the same boat. It seams Hyperactive behavior a very small boat doesnt it? Its probably not just you and me though. there are other people just as pathetic and worthless as us. So in a way were not alone as we think... Fuck. I suck at this. If youre going to kill yourself let me know, then maybe we die at the same time and it wont be as alone.', 'Funny, I made a similar post recently in r/SuicideWatch about envying those with cancer.I guess we have the same line of thought.', 'No. It would devastate him. And then when you die he will never know the truth probably driving him to Suicide as well.Talk to him about ALL the issues your having. If youve been together for 8 years he obviously loves you and will do whatever he can to help you through this.']",Attempt
user-367,"['Im on my forth antidepressant and have tried all the talking therapies. I have a psychiatrist. It just all works for a little while then I stumble into a dark part of my mind that overtakes the rational part. What I want right now is to end it.I know, that the reality is I should look at my life and work out what I can fix and start there with small goals but Ive been off work a month and have got to the point I can barely summon the effort to feed myself. I had a med increase the other week. So far things are the same.  I know I cant solve my problems over night but right now even taking small steps feels Hyperactive behavior climbing a mountain.', 'Kinda... I obviously dont know you but my guess is you can understand the actual moment your meant to talk to a doctor/support worker/etc.... Sometimes the words arent there. I always get Confusion and struggle to explain. You know what I mean? I need to go see my GP this week though, so probably expected to talk to them a bit.', 'I have the responsibility of not making everyone in my life Depressed mood to live for other than that not really. Im trying to remind myself recurrent Mental Depression kinda works this way and that it wont last. But sometimes I feel the facts that I know are crushed by what my Mental Depression ""knows"".I just wanted to rant a bit I guess and the internet is a pretty good place to do that. The ideas feel Hyperactive behavior they are circling me but Im pretty sure I have many issues with Suicide methods, not definite enough, too messy for the discovery, wasteful, damaging to others. So I sit here and think and feel sad about that. I think the hardest part is every Mental Depression episode I feel I lose a little of who I was before it and thats getting harder to accept. ']",Ideation
user-368,"['Dont think of life short term. I was in the Army and my life was measured in 4 year contracts, I never thought past that. It didnt work out, and suddenly I was a civilian again and life was HARD. I have a daughter I barely see, work minimum 40 hours a week and have class 3 days a week. Im making enough money to stay afloat. I just got tboned last week and my car got totaled. Ive been in jail, tried to kill myself handful of times, fallen into alcoholism, and fucked up A LOT. You know what brother? None of that holds me back from my future. Im 21, you got some years on me but the struggle is the same. I never saw combat man. I can only imagine what it was Hyperactive behavior. Prison will suck but its just a time to reevaluate things. Its a grown up wake up call brother, dont think of it as life ending. You always have choices man. Always. If you are ready to die you have absolutely nothing to lose. Live life to the fullest, because in your mind youre on borrowed time now. Thats how I feel man. I feel Hyperactive behavior Im lucky to even be here and I got on average 40 fucking years Ventricular Dysfunction, Left. Ive only lived a third of my life. I served the country. I went to jail. I have a kid. Ive been in an asylum. Ive seen everything I thought I could and then holy shit; it got even worse somehow. But it always gets better. Always. You will see that. Some of my best friends in the world are from the service AND from jail man. Theres literally good in so many things. You can get through this, even with hard time. That just means you will meet more people. Compared to the Army man, its not bad. Its not Levenworth thats what I always reminded myself. You arent alone. You always have someone man. Old platoon buddies. Old NCOs. Old mentors. New friends, old friends, everything. Life isnt over for you yet brother. Dont throw in the towel. I know youre stronger than that. You will make it through this man. You will. If you ever want to talk to me more man Im a PM away. You and I could Skype with some of my best friends from my platoon, all of our lives are fucking Abnormal behavior now. But we are still living. We both have friends who arent; and Im sure you dont want an afterlife beat down from them, at least not yet ;). ', 'Im 20, a vet (medical discharge woo), 2 years of college, 4 years of volunteering for the Red Cross, job history of holding the same job for more than 2 years, anddddd I dont even get callbacks bro. Good things are on the horizon for both of us, I have tried and failed many times to kill myself its a constant battle. This is not the end for you, but just a new beginning.There is nothing more precious or sacred then life my friend...dont let go of it yet. Not our time :). ', 'You opened for cage!?! Thats fucking awesome dude. Seriously, keep working on yourself. JUST yourself. Cut all contact off with girls and eventually, the girls will come to you. I was in your position two years ago when my fianc\xc3\xa9 Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me after mentally and physically abusing the shit out of me. Ive been single ever since them. I work out literally everyday. I either rollerblade or hit the gym or walk a mile or do anything man. I do that shit for ME. Not to get chicks to Hyperactive behavior me or think Im attractive, I do it because I know Im attractive and it makes me happy. When I was in HS, I tried to kill myself more times than I can count. I took so many Advil my liver is still fucked and I cant really drink or at least I shouldnt. I was so lonely, had never kissed a girl, couldnt even go and talk to a girl, and now Im so so so so SO much better. Just 5 years later and its been some of the craziest time of my life. Do everything you do for YOU. A common phrase among my friends is ""youre my day 1 bro/nigga/etc."" which is true man, I lived in some Depressed mood parts of Chicago and Philly and I fucked up and went to jail but Ive had people there from me from the very beginning man. I never let myself forget I only have ONE day ZERO bro. That bro is me. I will always be around, my friends could get shot or locked up and it would destroy me but you have to keep going. The only person who can make you the best is yourself, and everyone believes in you. My phone screen will always be something simple ""You are going to want to give up. Dont."" Good luck man if you need anything PM me', 'You signed a 6 year contract, right mate? That means youre...a reservist, right? Now Im thinking that if youre a reservist, you got Hyperactive behavior, 1-2 months Ventricular Dysfunction, Left of tech and then youre back home? Chilling with the buddies, your girl, doing all the shit you love to do. Then you MIGHT get deployed in the next 5 years of your contract, and sit around in kuwait/germany/japan/iran and do absolutely nothing (people that arent combat ops do fucking nothing when deployed just saying, nothing wrong with that im a god damn fueler and proud of it ;D)Seriously though. I want you to PM me. I am enlisted in the Army Reserves and before that I was in ROTC. The military life is NOT for everyone. You sound Hyperactive behavior you just got in and hated it. Tech school should be a lot more fun for you than BCT was. If you hate tech school this much, you might just not Hyperactive behavior the military. The military gives you PLENTY of resources for your LIFE nowadays...including getting out and getting help, ESPECIALLY for Suicide. Didnt they give you Suicide prevention classes??? Those assholes...Seriously though man. Im a PFC in the Army and life is...fine. Its not great. Its not WTFAMAZING. I dont have some weird thing about serving the country. Nah. I just Hyperactive behavior what I do. I Hyperactive behavior guns. I Hyperactive behavior cars. I Hyperactive behavior running. Im athletic. I Hyperactive behavior women. I Hyperactive behavior tattoos. I Hyperactive behavior swearing. I Hyperactive behavior jumping over shit. I Hyperactive behavior cadence. I Hyperactive behavior fighting. I Hyperactive behavior life-long friends. I Hyperactive behavior having a steady job. I Hyperactive behavior income I can rely on. I Hyperactive behavior being yelled at and motivated. I LOVE a challenge. Read that paragraph really carefully bro. Read that shit and find out if you Hyperactive behavior any of that (thats barely ANYTHING when you think about it). If you do, stick with it. Youre a reservist by the sounds of it, (standard reservist contract is 6 years on 2 years off I believe). You are at the end of the tunnel dude. Pick up a video game, start running even more than you already do...anything. Its tech school. You have your phone+facebook right? Get a webcam for you AND your girlfriend skype. skype ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Any chance you get. Skype. Maybe that will help you dude because if this chick supports you Hyperactive behavior you say, she wont let you jump out of a goddamn window. And neither will any of us here! You have plenty of help brother...reach out to anyone in the thread, especially me! Id love to talk to you...Ill even give you my number, we can text about the DUMBEST shit. Im Wakefulness the same time as you are!Military friends rock dude. They are there for life usually because you fucking bond under some of the hardest circumstances people can go through. Military life IS TOUGH! You will pull through it man! I think you can do it, I believe in you. Seriously. Please PM me. Peace brother. (I cant tell what branch youre in so..Hooah, Semper Fi etc. etc. ;D)', 'Hey brother, I was in the military. Id be happy to talk to you and try to find some resources for you - have you talked to JAG yet? ', 'Whats up brother. I was in the Army, I enlisted as a cadet with a Chap. He would be able to talk to you, Hyperactive behavior any Chaplain. Mental Health Services are real as hell man. Almost all of my senior NCOs with multiple deployments were there getting a cocktail of pills and talking to someone. You need to talk to someone bro, but youll get through this. The month after I enlisted, one of my sole reasons of enlisting was money for my Fianc\xc3\xa9 and I, and the month after I found out she cheated on me multiple times. It Chest Pain bro. I shipped off to BCT and saw lots of bad shit, came home and was completely alone. I went to my Chap and talked to him and pretty much told him straight up - Im and atheist, but I dont even know where to turn too.  He listened, and offered advice, and never pushed me to any decision. I never told him I was so upset Id kill myself, because thats something I think hed have to tell your CO but dude...all your battles go through shit, Ive been through shit, youll go through shit...the military is such a huge part of our lives, its what we have for families bro. Rely on your battles, trust someone and youll be good man. Best of luck to you bro. I Irritable Mood it. ', 'OP I did something very similar to you with Advil, it seemed Hyperactive behavior the perfect choice at the time but I didnt die. I lived. It was the complete opposite of painless and easy too. Call 911 and get some help OP, everyone will be hear to listen when youre back. ', 'I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for taking the time to write it or compile it. I believe the universe is...okay. I also believe in Buddhism, so I could identify with many of these concepts. If we are all eternal - why jump to the next starting gate so soon? If we are all one part of the same ocean (loved that quote on Enlightenment) then why not stay here? Especially if you are already at this point in life...understanding this stuff can make looking at the world harder because it seems Hyperactive behavior people are missing the big picture. People rarely help each other. We inflict wounds upon ourselves with our reckless greed, reckless violence...I still think things are okay. THIS life can hold so many wonders and marvels for everyone in it - have you truly seen it all? I ask you to go and truly experience something before doing this. Suicide may be a choice for everyone, but theres nothing stopping you from doing it tomorrow if you just try to LIVE today. I hope everything works out for you man. If you have any personal stuff going on you want to talk about, feel free to message me and Ill listen and give as much advice as I can. ']",Indicator
user-369,"['Haha, no its not that bad, just more subtle. Ive worked in a Genital Diseases, Male dominated workplace before an its not an obvious discrimination more Hyperactive behavior you know they talk about it when youre not there, think you need more help, not as capable, subtle sexist jokes or comments about women that never qualify harassment. Or you end up being desirable which can effect workplace dynamics. ', 'Its such a comfort to have someone else who gets it! It can be so frustrating when I try and talk about it with my friends or family who just say I need to focus on myself bla bla. I still Hyperactive behavior to think that there has to be love out there for people Hyperactive behavior us, because; hope and fairytales and all that jazz. ', 'Thank you so much, this is exactly why I cant stand the phrase! ', 'Half an hour of prime motivation, push for another ten after, then kaput', 'Well Ill say that you are worth the fight,  I feel Hyperactive behavior I do understand this feeling, because knowing the answers to a problem doesnt always Irritable Mood you know how to or feel able to act out the solution. People who dont quite understand will try to help in the only way they know how and this is with those Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder simple answers. I wish they would just give big hugs and say nothing. I hated people for a long time too. ', 'True!', 'Whats btw?', 'Part of my my mental health problems is borderline personality traits which has diagnostic criteria specifically relating to Angina, Unstable relationships and Angina, Unstable sense of self - this is when not being treated though. But I guess thats why I do take the phrase more personally- coz if my illness relapses it does effect my interpersonal relationships but its the illness and not me. If that makes sense. ', 'For example Ill go ""okay time to start this research in cane toads effecting biodiversity and summarise it into a presentable format to voice record, need graphs and maps too, okay lets go!"" Ill go to the Uni library page an find a tonne of great peer reviewed articles (I also use wiki to work out what to search for) and then open a word document an start writing and then suddenly ""what is that word i swear I used to know so I can make this sentence work, oh I need to write the actual data, ill have to check it across lot of articles, does this sound too much Hyperactive behavior Im plagiarising, where do I put the space, does this point go in a new paragraph, I used to be able to do this what the hell brain!  ugh Im so Exhaustion from trying to put together this introduction I think Ill have a break and get more info later"" then off to watch cats on YouTube or something mindless. ', 'I am saving this list. Thanks :) ', 'I really appreciate hearing the other side of the situation. It sounds Hyperactive behavior your ex wasnt getting any professional help and just giving you the full force of (borderline type of mental illness from the description) her inability to regulate her emotional states. I can understand how you have the view you do after what you have experienced. And you are right about needing to be ok on your own, sustain yourself. I guess now that Im working on things and I live independently and Ive got career and study plans (next year) that my Abnormal behavior wont be the overwhelming type, but it will still be there, Im just lonely, but I know you cant use someone to fill in the lonely space, so maybe Im not quite ready just yet. ', 'Thanks, I know there are a lot of people who would be devastated if I gave up, the thoughts of Suicide are just quite overwhelming and disabling and it almost makes me Anger that Im not allowed to die because of the Ache it will cause others. Logically it is a bad idea, emotionally I just want the merry-go-round to stop.', 'So much of the stuff you read about side effects will not apply to you personally. Sometimes the only way is to try it and see how it affects your personal body chemistry. Every single medication I have tried- and there is a lot! have had forums and forums written about all the nasty stuff that can happen, but so far only some of those things happened to me, and also when it comes to the side effect of weight gain- thats always one I Anxiety about, it is very dependable on your bodys reaction. My mum is on seroquel (and another med that apparently makes you pudgy) which is supposed to make you gain Hyperactive behavior huuge amounts of weight- Hyperactive behavior 30kg but she has been on it for ages and only put pn Hyperactive behavior 5kg- she was kinda too thin before and is now is quite slim/average (60kg) so she never got massive Hyperactive behavior the claims on the Internet say. So it all depends on your own reaction. Hell my current medication has serious rashes and mild  rashes as a side effect and I havent had either of those happen, also when I took lithium a lot of people were saying they gained a lot of weight- I lost a lot of weight. So side effect profiles are iffy, especially ones you read on the net, take them with a grain of salt and discuss those concerns with your doctor and they will have a better understanding of what to expect. ', 'Oh man. Fuck. Thats why I avoid happy people until I have the energy to be a good actress and pretend Im one of them in Phobia, Social situations. ', '24', 'Ah cool, thanks for the longer, less harsh version. ', 'Yeah when its the last minute I somehow pull through the same way, its just very exhausting and unhealthy (once did an assignment from midnight to 10am because I Ventricular Dysfunction, Left it so late, only had one break). I want to change this. ', 'Thanks for this, it does make me feel better about my situation. ', 'I usually enjoy art, reading, music and usually exercise but all have fallen by the wayside. I had started learning the guitar last year but stopped coz it cost money for lessons and i wasnt practising enough after a while. So I Hypersomnia mostly, watch tv or go on the net. ', 'I Hyperactive behavior this Irritable Mood! ', 'You are right about the hands on being easier to concentrate- I can focus when I make things but its when I have to read something boring or write something I dont care about that makes it difficult. ', 'Me too. Are you already on medication for it? ', 'I feel Hyperactive behavior that a lot. Its hard, when I have a good moment or enjoy something even if its for just an hour, it reminds me that feelings dont last forever, and being unhappy constantly with no relief forever is almost impossible. Also sometimes I find solace in some philosophical ideas about what happiness really is, and how it can be found even when your life circumstances arent what you want. Mindfulness meditation is beneficial for coping with unpleasant emotions, it has been shown to help a lot- so thats worth looking into. Im still trying myself and am yet to grasp it, but thats the advice I have been given to help with similar feelings to yours that involve worrying about future happiness. ', 'Its great that you are going to be seeing a therapist, they are trained to talk about all these things with you and to help you work through issues. Its a big step and Anxiety Mental Depression about your first appointment happens with everyone that I know who sees a therapist. As far as my experience goes, they will not insist on medication if you say you really dont want it. I need it because part of my problem is chemical/biologically mood related- but talk/psychotherapy and group therapy is what is what is mostly helping me deal with life issues and everyday life problems and relationship issues- so to answer your question you can get past the hard times without medication (just in some cases its more complicated than just external factors making it hard and chemical assistance is required).* edit: also everything is confidential, your information an what you talk about should be kept confidential by the therapist . ', 'Thank you for sharing your struggles with mental illness. So many people look normal on the outside when inside they are really struggling and using lots of energy just to keep up normal living stuff. I think you are a very strong person to be able to do this and its awesome you have been able to work on some of the disturbing voices. I guess all we can do is keep working on getting better and tying to keep life normal maybe in the meantime someone who matches us will accept us, illness and all, and become part of our lives. Also, Hyperactive behavior me, you have probably heard it before- you are still young! Thats something on our side, to know there isnt really an urgent rush to find a partner and make babies etc just yet! ', 'Can you sharehouse to cut down cost of living? Can you go to the government for assistance? Can you to to the college and gain help for your circumstances? Do you have any other relatives or friends who will let you stay with them for cheaper? Can you discuss these issues with your family so they reconsider or offer a solution that will allow you to stay? These are suggestions. I dont know what your Phobia, Social welfare system is Hyperactive behavior where you live, here in Australia they have some sort of help for students so they dont end up working 80 hour weeks to afford college, but from the sounds of it you are in USA judging from the wage you are getting. Im not sure what else to suggest. *edit just read you want to do hospitalities, is there a way you can get a junior position in your area of interest that will then help towards your studies or give you credits for that area of studying? Like a traineeship in hospitality?', 'Haha, yes the general consensus is we Abnormal behavior people are sexual masters! You say you dont bring up your Bipolar Disorder initially, wen do you feel Hyperactive behavior its appropriate to reveal it to someone? ', 'No I dont have a good reads account, just loads of books around haha. How do you get one? What are the Hunger games books Hyperactive behavior? I liked the movie. ', 'I know. How. My brain wont slow down. ', 'So cutting from 4mg to 2mg or 1mg say just for a day  or every second day, will that cause problems? Or is it more if you stop completely for a few days? I will definitely be talking to my doctor anyway. Just my script says take 1mg to 2mg up to twice a day max (so 4mg) but I guess if Ive been maxing out everyday then thats an issue if I want to take less or none other days. I know if I want to completely stop I have to do a tapering plan though. I hope its not gonna be as be as Effexor withdrawals, fuck that was awful. ', 'I think I would enjoy that ', 'Its just that feeling of when you do do some work, ""oh this isnt too bad"" but then it takes forever and a lot of effort to actually START and before you know it youre pulling an all nighter. ', 'I kept my practical subject where I go to a school and help once a week- that part I can do but the writing up an organising the observations into focus points and summarising them is something I am having trouble getting  myself to do. My other subject I kept was society an education (teaching geography and history and Phobia, Social studies) there are a lot of readings and. my first assignment is a group assignment (one other person as a member) the technical side (has to be a self running presentation/video) is troubling me and I am not pulling my weight as when start to research and write  just lose my ability to stay on task. I am on a small dose if dexamphetamine a day and my other meds are lamotrigine. I took lithium for a while but it went Megacolon, Toxic after I didnt eat or drink properly over a weekend so stopped it for the moment. All this study avoidance,  I think its coz I am just lazy. ', 'Haha, thanks I think this thread is helping me out with those giving up feelings. And its good to hear the other side of it, coz I believe its true about ill people who arent actually trying to help themselves and using their partner to rescue them (happens typically in borderline) and how damaging that is to all relationships, and I know I used to be Hyperactive behavior that, but Im getting more help and actively participating in my therapy finally, so I feel more positive now that because Ive changed my Irritable Mood Im more likely to be able to have a stable relationship. ', 'A little bit Social fear now, but thanks, good to know there is someone else going through the same thing .', 'Yeah that would help. Reading is hard for me to do for long periods at the moment, but yeah, that would help. ', 'Im a woman to clarify. But yeah I know it could be fixed but its the uncertainty thats horrible and how its all up to me being able to get well enough to fix it, I feel Hyperactive behavior time is against me, if I could press pause, get well, concentrate and press play then I could finish my studies, start to have a functional relationship with friends and maybe even meet a partner if Im lucky, eventually get a real job and career and be to be able to fit into western society and function. Right now It looks bleak if I cant get my shit together in time. ', 'My moods just sad/ hopeless . This advice is good advice though. ', 'Thanks :) ', 'I have a lot of classic type books that I started bit havent finished- Hyperactive behavior 1984, on the road, women in love, Shakespeare plays etc. I Hyperactive behavior Tim winton and am halfway through a mirokami book. I started to book thief too. All not finished. Sigh', 'Yeah I take medication for the ADHD- dexamphetamine, but only a small dose coz my doctor is worried it might make me swing up, as she is working with a possible Bipolar Disorder diagnosis at the moment. So also on lamotrigine. Was on lithium and will most likely go back on it, I had a scary toxicity on it a few weeks ago so had to stop it for the time being. ', 'I Hyperactive behavior the practical side of teaching children new concepts, helping them understand in the classroom, I can do this, but to get the point of being able to do this as a full time job I have to study and do all the boring stuff at Uni - without the ability to do that I cant do what I want. To do what I want I first have to do what I hate, this is the case with most careers isnt it? I just need higher tolerance and less laziness to get through the stuff I dont Hyperactive behavior so I can eventually do something that I do Hyperactive behavior. ', 'Ok that sounds serious, will have a talk with her before I try to decrease anything. ', 'So did that method help not getting bad withdrawals? ', 'What was the deleted comment??', 'As a woman welding could be a challenging area to get into because of sex discrimination not entirely gone from the workplace in Australia. But as you suggested I do consider seriously the option of a vocational occupation helping and may very well go down that path. I still may encounter the same issues of concentration and Anxiety Mental Depression no matter what career path I start upon.']",Indicator
user-370,"['Im still not sure how youre fucking up these Phobia, Social relationships. If youre awkward Im sure your friends are used to it by now, and if youve chosen the wrong friends then all you need to do is burn some bridges and meet the right people. You cant feel guilty for being in this position. Just imagine how guilty your friends and family will feel if you go through with this; knowing that they must have overlooked some sign that showed how you were truly feeling. Whats your relationship with your parents Hyperactive behavior? There must be someone, besides me, that you can talk to. Someone real, who can look you in the eye and honestly listen to what you have to say. I understand what you Irritable Mood by feeling as though your emotional outbursts are fits of acting, and how insincere and imposter Hyperactive behavior it feels. But even if it doesnt feel Hyperactive behavior it has the weight its supposed to, getting it out is what matters. Someone needs to know, you cant go this alone. Make a list of people who you think you could tell. And then finally work up the courage to do it. If theyre your friends then theyll definitely care about how youre feeling. And if the friends you have arent good enough then think about talking to a family member.If you strive for days Hyperactive behavior the other day eventually these fits have to subside. Its clear that you love being active socially, so why not just throw yourself into the mix. Text and friend and go do something. Im not sure where you are but over hear on the East Coast its gorgeous.Get rid of that knife, man. Its not the fits that are driving you to pick up the knife, its the knife thats driving you into fits. Having that around is a way for you to imagine how fickle your mortality is, and its not good for making progress.Think hard and tell me what causes you to be fit free. I understand that youre still going to harbor a negative Irritable Mood during them, but what helps you maintain your composure?', 'Ive been in the same position as you, but 17 is the crossroads of all our lives. High school may have been shit, it was for me, but college is a whole other world. My advice to you is just give it a try. Wait for college to start, go into it with an open mind and see where it takes you.What side of the country are you going to school in?', 'Im sorry, I thought Id already responded. Ive been swamped with finals. Your second paragraph is funny actually, because I was thinking that too, except vise versa. That you were a manifestation of my own internal conflicts, but we both know thats highly unlikely. I am sending my thoughts to your head, and you, me. But despite the little weight that these words may carry, I just want you to know how much I dont want you to commit suicide.How have the last few days been? Any good days?', 'Why should anyone do anything when all they have is blind hope for the future? That is the very nature of life, yet here we are. Our ancestors on the plains of Africa hundreds of thousands of years ago were driven by blind hope and the urge to survive (though most likely only the latter, seeing as they wouldnt be able to process such abstract ideas as hope). It was hope that kept them running from the lions and pursuing ways to prolong their lives. All we have as humans is hope. By taking your life you not only kill your hope, but the hope that your parents have for the life you will lead.But life is much more than being happy and unhappy. By taking your life you guarantee that you will be *nothing* ever again. That you will both cease to feel the Ache and the good that you have forgotten. I know you have felt joy, but your mind is clouded by your despair. As a human being you are privileged with a great many things; as a human living in the United States you are privileged with even more. Suicide may seem Hyperactive behavior a glorious end, but it is an end you will never appreciate. Life is filled with suffering. Ive lost a best friend to cancer, another to war. Ive lost family members to car accidents and disease. I have known my fair share of suffering, along with the turmoils that Plague my mind. But life is about finding meaning through suffering. Nihilism is correct when it says that life has no intrinsic meaning, but that does not Irritable Mood that we cannot give it meaning. Suffering is a means to finding the meaning in our lives, and your suffering is no different.Your life has meaning, and you have near infinite potential. Life has just begun for you. Plus, none of the shit youre dealing with actually matters. High school is the most bullshit filled period of our lives and has absolutely no bearing on who we become. The key is simply to survive it, and as you know thats the hardest part.Argue with me all you want. But at least listen to what I have to say.', 'Maybe you should try opening up to him more? You guys are in the same sort of boat, just for different reasons. Real dialogue with a friend could be helpful, but youve got to take the steps to bring it to the level you need. I guess what Im saying is, dont settle for comfort words. Would you have rather someone have found you? I find that when Im down or suicidal I crave an intervention but dont go looking for it.', 'Im thinking youre grossly underestimating your potential, my friend. If you have friends now you can make some more. You just have to look in the right places. You say that you wont be able to make any friends that arent as socially awkward as you, but why would you want to be friends with people who cant relate to you? There is a lot more to sociality than being popular, trust me. I can count my friends on one hand, and theyre all just Hyperactive behavior me: nerdy, average looking, and fit with a desire to change the world. You want to be around people who are Hyperactive behavior you, because the people who are Hyperactive behavior you, Hyperactive behavior you.This world is filled with people, certainly youre compatible with one of them. Fuck it, find one on [/r/suicidewatch](/r/suicidewatch), as long as you dont go all Romeo and Juliet on us. But demeanor is key, the only thing that youre suffering from is poor perspective. I know how real it feels, how hopeless you can get when you feel down, but theres a way out.Im curious, what is triggering these fits.Also, whats your motivation for going into pre-med?', 'You cant expect these changes to happen overnight. This is a long term process.I thought youve already been accepted? You dont have a better self image after putting on muscle? You dont feel good that youve changed your body for the better and accomplished something? External changes dont happen until internal ones do.', 'You know what I love about my college courses? All of my professors admit to being fuck-ups before they got into their second year of college. My all time favorite professor admits to being only a few levels away from being mentally handicapped in Drug abuse school, but after she found her passion she went on to get a doctoral degree and published an awesome ethnography on sex in the Caribbean. The change in environment is key. If you can do me one favor, dont kill yourself until youve at least tried to experience college. The language youre using makes it patently obvious that you really dont want to end it. What youre craving is a major life change. You and I both know what a great community Reddit is, have you ever thought of checking out [/r/Fitness](/r/Fitness) or some other activity based sub? By keeping your body active youll take a lot of pressure off of your mind, as well as prove to yourself that you can make progress, etc. While video games are a great way to dull your senses, they dont really do much for you in the long run, and its easy to get down on yourself about it.Dude, if you have an interest in those fields you should check out Paul Farmers biography *Mountains Beyond Mountains*. Also, Im not sure what your religious background is, but if youre anything else Hyperactive behavior the rest of reddit and have a penchant for nihilism, you should check out Sam Harris. Hes an absolutely brilliant neuro-scientist that gives some awesome arguments against religion using your field.Work ethic doesnt matter in Drug abuse school. Really man, its all bullshit and youll realize that as soon as you get to college. Its much easier to work at things you love/have an interest in. Plus science majors always stick together because of how difficult it is. All of the bio and med students I know know every other bio/med student, and they all hang out together. Plus, at least at my school, theyre all pretty cool people and love to have a good time.The point is to survive the now though, right? What sort of plan could we put together that would help you enjoy your summer?', 'I know exactly what you Irritable Mood, man. I never want to tell anyone but I always want someone to ask, just so I can some of it out. But the problem is that no one ever asks, and youre just Ventricular Dysfunction, Left alone with yourself and your sadness.Maybe hell pry a bit more. I know Ive said this before but dont you think hed prefer you opening up to him as opposed to you killing yourself and him knowing that he could have talked to you about it? Plus, it goes without saying that you killing yourself would most definitely exacerbate his depression. Im sorry if Im kind of guilting you out of this, but Im sure youre doing it already. Keep being a good friend though, Im sure he needs you just as much as you need him, even though youre both unwilling to open up to the other. Howd today go? When is your prom anyway? Or is that no longer an issue?', 'Come on, man. It cant be that bad. How awkward could you possibly be? And unless youre verbally abusing your friends, I doubt youre fucking up your Phobia, Social relationships. No one gets into their reach school, thats why theyre called reach schools. College is college is college is college; youll get the same experience everywhere. Why was yesterday so great? And what made this fit so terrible?', 'PM me about prom. Im going to respond to the rest of your post tomorrow after my finals, but I have to get some Hypersomnia now.', 'So what things have changed? Was the weekend good enough to postpone suicide?Im sorry Ive been afk. I had to go home and deal with somethings. I hope your weekend went well, man. Keep fighting, once the major stressors are gone Im sure youll feel a bit better.', 'Was anyone there to witness this breakdown?', 'Why must you be haunted by the past? Youre still unwilling to accept the fact that this perspective is surmountable, and that you can look back on this as a time where you nearly gave in but overcame it. I strongly believe that college will do wonders for you if you throw yourself into it. Judging by how you speak, you seem incredibly intelligent, which is exactly what will help you succeed in college. It is a time to start anew, far from everyone and everything that reminds you of how you feel. Your mind will still be with you, but it will be busy processing everything thats going on. Though sociability is a key part of college, connecting with professors and RAs is also a major part, and often even more satisfying. If you extract yourself from your own self-deprecation, and engage with all that surrounds you Im sure that youll see some value in it.Do this for me. Extract yourself from how you are feeling now. When was the last time you felt joy, euphoria, bliss? There was a time, was there not? It can come again too. No matter the struggle, there is a way to overcome it. ', 'Ill miss you.', 'Were you?', 'Do you play Dark Souls? If you do, you know that the whole point of the game is for you to die (read: fail), until you figure out how not to die.. The game forces you to try over and over to overcome the seemingly impossible and in a way it forces you to give up. But eventually, through perseverance you can succeed. Listen man, Im shit with analogies, and not much better at anything else. But if theres one thing Ive learned, its that fighting my way through shit always makes me feel better, and victory is the sweetest thing of them all.So fuck, right now youre stuck in Blighttown. The most abysmal of all locations, and you just want to throw your fucking controller at the wall. And thats fine, we all do. But my point is, Blighttown is just a miniscule percentage of your life, and eventually youll get fucking awesome armor and kick the shit out of everything. All you have to do is fight. You can either carry on, keep fighting, and eventually look back and see how Localized Rash generalised you were for wanting to throw your controller, or you can quit. And youll never know what could have been.One last thing, college loans and tuition is immediately refunded if you commit suicide. So even if you do try and hate it, youre parents wont miss a dime. But Im sure that they would pay any amount to see you alive and happy. Remember that. You are their most precious gift.What say you?', 'AP exam are going to end eventually though. If you strive through this and make it to the summer there has to be a way to set yourself up for a good time until college. Once all of this school weight is off your shoulders youll have plenty of time to feel better and try and work through this. Youre just under a lot of pressure right now.If you cant open up to anyone, then you still have me to talk to. Why do you think this weekend is going to be the breaking point?', 'What guarantee do you have that you wont be able to overcome this? Your only frame of reference is from this perspective of despair, and so naturally your assumptions are bound to be negative. Youve said it yourself, if you make it through this itll be much better. The only reason why you believe it isnt worth it is because you are mired in this perspective.Depression is a vicious cycle, and I understand how your mind is battling against itself. But life is a huge fucking experience, and your frame of experience is infinitesimal compared to the rest of your life span. How can you be so sure of anything when youve only been alive for 17 years? How can you be so sure of your potential to overcome this when youve only been emotionally and socially conscious for barely half that time? Shit, at this age your body hasnt even finished developing. Im 21 and Im still figuring shit out about myself. Youre going to prom with your friend, are you not? Why do you think thats going to be so terrible?']",Supportive
user-371,"['Let me tell you something about life. Its not an easy road and its full och shit and fuckups. But theres more to it, dont think about the past it will only drag you down. So think ahead you got a full life ahead of you and there will be times you feel down but there will also be happiness. Pursuit your dreams and dont give in to your inner demons.', 'I can say that everything is gonna be alright and you can be strong enough to survive this but I have never even in the slightest been Depressed mood or Drug abuse to any drug at all. So I cant really start to imagine what you have been through these past 8 years. What I do know that it wasnt only because of the phone that rang you stopped yourself to commit suicide. A part of you as you said wants to live and I believe if you can find the strength in that you can overcome this no matter how bad the odds are.  However the first step when it comes to things Hyperactive behavior this is that you have to be brave. You need to tell your family that you dont want to live but you are trying your best. Your family can help you and they will be there for you because in the end you are a part of them.  Now if you have old friends thats doing drugs aswell or even selling to you... You need to stop having any sort of contact with them. It needs to stop, its hard I know some friends can be people who has always been at your side but you need to let go. If you feel Hyperactive behavior doing more talk just PM me.']",Supportive
user-372,"['Perhaps the way you are learning is the problem. I know when I first started learning to program what helped me was picking a project I wanted to design and then figuring out all the components that would be required from a language to complete that project. I also learned that Im terrible at learning from ebooks, or website tutorials, and that videos (though they can be long and boring) helped me grasp the language easier than those. Do you have any projects you want to build? ', 'Have you seen a different doctor at a different hospital for a second opinion? Hospitals are a business just Hyperactive behavior every other, and some of them have very questionable business practices, it never hurts to get a second opinion. Your husband loves you and married you to be with you in Nausea and in health, he doesnt want anyone else because you both chose each other. Let him in and work through this together. ', 'None of this is worth you taking your own life. Your parents may be the most horrible and terrible people to exist but you shouldnt give them the satisfaction of your death, you need to try and live in spite of them. In less than 365 days youll be 18 and can apply for new visas, or residency on your own. Once you are on your own you can build the life that you deserve and only see your family on your terms. I dont know about how your university expenses are being paid, but I assure you that there are a wealth of scholarships available for anyone who chooses to pursue them. Next time instead of Depressed mood yourself because of your family, sit down and look for scholarships on sites Hyperactive behavior [Fastweb](http://www.fastweb.com/) and apply for them. Each and every time they Anger you or frustrate you turn that Anger into a positive force and use it to start building your life without them. ', 'You shouldnt let another human have that kind of control over you. Ive been in your shoes, and I lost the person who I thought was going to be the one. We had made promises, we had been there for each other, and then one day she decided to stop being there for me, she cheated on me, and Ventricular Dysfunction, Left. I even tried to repair the relationship a few months later, it worked for a bit, but I ended up in a worse spot than I was. Only after letting go, and not looking for a replacement, but looking to let go, looking to find a way to make me a better person was I able to turn my life around. Instead of trying to find another person who was just Hyperactive behavior her, I just focused on becoming a better me, and learning to love me. You can do this too. You can improve skills, or exercise to become a more physically capable person. Spend time, a good period of time six months to a year, or more if you need to to become a better you. Dont make this new year about her, and her control over you. Its time that you started living life for you, become the best you that you can be!', 'Would you Hyperactive behavior to talk about it, Im here and Id love to listen.', 'Ive never been to university, it wasnt in the cards because of finances. I started using the talents I had and worked my way up to get an entry level job as IT / SEO, I took that job and learned as much as I could about the SEO / internet marketing industry and jumped ship (a bit too early) to a better job. I worked at that internet marketing job for a few years and learned as a went, until I applied for a better paying position at a marketing firm. 2 and a half years later Im the digital marketing director of the marketing firm. I still havent been in university, and I have a job in a very competitive industry. Life gets better, with hard work you will get there!', 'Hey, it looks Hyperactive behavior youve already got a few people who are here to help you. If not, send me a PM and we can talk as long as you need.', 'I see that you have an interest in computer science, but you are worried that you wont be able to get into the field that you want because of your current grades. While it is possible that you may not be immediately accepted into the university of your choice, there is the possibility of going to a community college to get good grades in core classes (most likely math and science heavy) and then transferring to a respected four year institution. However you will need to focus on getting strong marks. Another option is going in under academic probation by writing a university letter of why you know your grades alone arent good enough, but that youre willing to work hard to ensure that your previous actions were not reflective on you as a whole.', 'I dont know your mother, and would never pretend to, but perhaps its best to just not bring up classes for a bit till the current wave of drama blows over. As soon as it has then try to explain to them that the major you are pursing that will be the best for you and the family is not currently offered online. If youre pursing a major that would be easily taken online, you may be forced to decide between a different major or stuck at home with the family. If their motives for keeping you locked away are selfish (for the pride of the family, or to keep the family name ""clean"" by keeping you out of trouble) remember that you can use that selfishness against them (the family would look very prestigious if you had a lofty degree). ', 'Communications degrees go further than you might think. Ive got a brother with a com degree and he works for an energy consultant firm, while paying his way through law school. The job pays very well and gives him full benefits. I myself never went to university, and spent 3 years of my life working at an Arbys from age 21-24. Through a ton of hard work, and dumb luck I now have a career that I honestly love, that pays me a very well. You are not your degree, you are the sum of every experience that has ever happened to you, good or bad. You can take any degree and any skills you have and turn it into a gold mine because this life is yours. The fact is that Communications majors have [lower unemployment rates than you might expect](http://www.studentsreview.com/unemployment_by_major.php3). Do you know why this is? Because there is a use for them, and because communication majors can use their skills to persuade their way into cushy sales, marketing, and PR jobs.  For all the STEM majors that boast about low employment rates Communications majors have a lower unemployment rate than many engineering majors and are only a fraction away from math major unemployment rates. Do not beat yourself up, because you are going to do things much greater than your $8.50/hr job, one day you will look back on this and think they were dark times in your life, but they will propel you through future hardships and into newer greener pastures. ', 'You can always tell someone, even if youre a great great grandfather. Telling someone doesnt make you any less strong. No one has to walk through life alone, letting people in and receiving help isnt a sign of weakness.', 'You Hyperactive behavior to code, what languages do you know? There are plenty of jobs out there that knowing to code will put you ahead of other applicants, that do not require math (or for that matter a degree). ', 'There is always room in life for more friends, feel free to chat with me!', 'Death is a terrible way out, you give them control. You may have to live with them for a while longer, but there will come a day when you leave to pursue your own life. Im sorry that you are not in the position to make that decision for yourself right now, but you taking your own life means that they win. If you dont mind me asking, under what conditions will they allow you to leave their control?', 'That truly is upsetting, but at 18 years old in the United States there is nothing legally they can do to prevent you from leaving, or taking a citizenship exam and leaving, or filing for your own education visa and leaving. There are many people whove Ventricular Dysfunction, Left broken homes in similar situations. The one thing your family will have over you is finances. This is why you have to work hard for scholarships and save money so that you can separate yourself from your family.  ']",Indicator
user-373,"['Oops, I remembered life is pointless. Oh well, guess theres always going to be some young person who thinks lifes grand! * bang * ', 'Youre right, most people dont know you exist, but thats okay. You feel invisible in Drug abuse school? What about after Drug abuse school when everyone moves apart to follow their careers? Who will have time to notice you and talk to you then? When do you have time to notice famous people? When do you have the time to notice Einstein? Wasnt Einstein a great guy? Why dont you worship his greatness *all the time*? When you get out of bed. When you eat breakfast. When you take a shit. Einstein. Einstein. Einstein. You dont notice him or think about him at all because you have your own life and your own problems. Its okay for you to pass by unnoticed. Its okay because, most of the time, everybodys unnoticed. Just try to be a good person. Be good to everybody because theyre okay. Be good to yourself because youre okay too. Stop Depressed mood yourself. You dont deserve that. You need to tell yourself that these thoughts arent welcome. Trust yourself and be yourself. When youre sad, alone, and in Ache dont go online to soak your head in Megacolon, Toxic memes so you can foster the Ache, youll only make things worse that way. You dont need to join some online sadness club so you can feel Hyperactive behavior you fit in somewhere. You need to accept yourself, not destroy yourself for not fitting into your tiny little school. So what if youre a weirdo? Do you know how many weirdos there are? Join the chess team or something if for no other reason than to see that there are stadiums full of weirdos out there. I know youre going to hate me for suggesting this, but you should absolutely tell an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult you can trust that youve Chest Pain yourself. Some people have made it their entire career, their entire life, to help people Hyperactive behavior you. The people on reddit are nice, many of them well intentioned, but most of them arent professionals, myself included. The sooner you start talking with a professional, the sooner youll be able to put the cutting and everything behind you and move forward with your life. You sound Hyperactive behavior a good person, be good to yourself. ', 'Some parents dont view their children as children, but as machines for providing them with money. Parents fail and fail and fail at life, so they create a new life, in a last ditch effort to overcome their failure, only to be disappointed with the results. Your parents suck. Your hierarchical language sucks, sorry, its the truth. I think you should live. Revenge is what I live for. Success is good revenge. ', 'did you make that up yourself?', 'I wrote this one a while back too, I call it **""The Way I Am""**, hope ya Hyperactive behavior it...I sit back with this pack of Zig Zags and this bagOf this weed it gives me the shit needed to beThe most meanest MC on this - on this EarthAnd since birth Ive been cursed with this curse to just curseAnd just blurt this berserk and bizarre shit that worksAnd it sells and it helps in itself to relieveAll this Tension dispensin these sentencesGettin this Stress thats been eatin me recently off of this chestAnd I rest again peacefully (peacefully)...But at least have the decency in youTo leave me alone, when you freaks see me outIn the streets when Im eatin or feedin my daughterTo not come and speak to me (speak to me)...I dont know you and no,I dont owe you a mo-therfuck-in thingIm not Mr. NSync, Im not what your friends thinkIm not Mr. Friendly, I can be a prickIf you tempt me my tank is on Depersonalization (is on Depersonalization)...No patience is in me and if you offend meIm liftin you 10 feet (liftin you 10 feet)... in the airI dont care who is there and who saw me just jaw youGo call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuitIll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobeIm Exhaustion of arguin (of arguin)...I dont Irritable Mood to be Irritable Mood but thats all I can be is just me**[Chorus:]**And I am, whatever you say I amIf I wasnt, then why would I say I am?In the paper, the news everyday I amRadio wont even play my jamCause I am, whatever you say I amIf I wasnt, then why would I say I am?In the paper, the news everyday I amI dont know its just the way I amSometimes I just feel Hyperactive behavior my father, I hate to be botheredWith all of this nonsense its constantAnd, ""Oh, its his lyrical content -- the song Guilty Conscience has gotten such rotten responses""And all of this controversy circles meAnd it seems Hyperactive behavior the media immediatelyPoints a finger at me (finger at me)...So I point one back at em, but not the index or pinkieOr the ring or the thumb, its the one you put upWhen you dont give a fuck, when you wont just put upWith the bullshit they pull, cause they full of shit tooWhen a dudes gettin bullied and shoots up his schoolAnd they blame it on Marilyn (on Marilyn)... and the heroinWhere were the parents at? And look where its atMiddle America, now its a tragedyNow its so sad to see, an upper class ci-tyHavin this happenin (this happenin)...Then attack Eminem cause I rap this way (rap this way)...But Im glad cause they feed me the fuel that I need for the fireTo burn and its burnin and I have returned**[Chorus:]**And I am, whatever you say I amIf I wasnt, then why would I say I am?In the paper, the news everyday I amRadio wont even play my jamCause I am, whatever you say I amIf I wasnt, then why would I say I am?In the paper, the news everyday I amI dont know its just the way I amIm so Nausea and Exhaustion of bein admiredThat I wish that I would just die or get firedAnd dropped from my label and stop with the fablesIm not gonna be able to top on ""My Name is... ""And pigeon-holed into some pop-py sensationThat got me rotation at rocknroll stationsAnd I just do not got the patience (got the patience)...To deal with these cocky caucasians who thinkIm some wigger who just tries to be black cause I talkWith an accent, and grab on my balls, so they always keep askinThe same fuckin questions (fuckin questions)...What school did I go to, what hood I grew up inThe why, the who what when, the where, and the howTil Im grabbin my hair and Im tearin it outCause they drivin me Abnormal behavior (drivin me Abnormal behavior)... I cant take itIm racin, Im pacin, I stand and I sitAnd Im thankful for ev-ery fan that I getBut I cant take a SHIT, in the bathroomWithout someone standin by itNo I wont sign your autographYou can call me an Irritable Mood Im glad**[Chorus:]**Cause I am, whatever you say I amIf I wasnt, then why would I say I am?In the paper, the news everyday I amRadio wont even play my jamCause I am, whatever you say I amIf I wasnt, then why would I say I am?In the paper, the news everyday I amI dont know its just the way I am ', 'Hey. I just wanted to say that your story struck a chord that resonated a lot of the same feelings I have about love and society. Im gay too, and I never had a problem with it as much as I had a problem with the society around me that programmed me to hate who I was. I dont want to play the game that this society is playing, all I want is to wait out this existence with someone I love. The prospect of being alone terrifies me, being isolated while at the same time contributing hopelessly to the goings on of the world. For years theres been this constant pressure in my mind to capitulate and die. Despite several of the changes Ive made recently, Suicide still seems Hyperactive behavior the way Ill eventually end my story. Yet Ive so far found ways to distract myself from doing it. I kinda wanna leave the country and go someplace else, be a bum on the street for a while, eventually Id find work and be in roughly the same financial situation Im in now. Theres a litany of things I could do besides kill myself, write things, make art, etc... I kinda wanna see your art by the way, though Id understand If you didnt want to share. My mom used to see me drawing and ask to see it, but I knew she wouldnt Hyperactive behavior it so Id throw away the piece and make something interesting she could look at. Anyway, I dont live near you, so I cant visit at the moment, would you be interested in being pen pals or something? ', 'Ah, nice to see someone not bash me over my use of the word bullshit. :)Thats pretty interesting, I also have a difficult time not separating complementary terms. Its just kind of something I learned to be sensitive to though, Hyperactive behavior the front and back of the same thing. Light/Dark, Sound/Silence, attention/oblivion, up/down, etc, etc... I dont really think its a ""disorder"" though. They say that it will *seem* to the ""Nausea"" person that its just a personality trait, but what if it really is? Since I was 11 parents and teachers would say I was ""stoic"", ""thoughtful"", ""too Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult"", to me these were ""honorable"" traits for me to embrace. Now I feel Hyperactive behavior an ageless soul surrounded by adults that are really still children inside. I know Im impermanent, I know Im insecure, but I feel that there is wisdom in knowing that I am these things. Maybe I grew up too fast, drained the world of wonder, and now its time to go. Whats wrong with being bleak anyway? There really *is* no hope beyond the promise of oblivion for each and every human being. Life can be fun, but going to Hypersomnia after a long day of work can be fun too! Dont tell me youve never sunk your face into your pillow in very much the same way as youd sink your teeth into a nice juicy steak; ready to embrace the *flavor* of not being awake. Isnt that *just* how we all want to go? Embracing our impermanence with open arms rather than hopefully clinging onto nothing? ', 'I work at a call center (hell) and I have a soft, nasally, girly, Quentin Tarantino voice, so 90% of the time people call me mam or darling or whatever. Im a man, yet I listen to this shit every day for 7 or 8 hours. Look, Im not rubbing your nose in my experiences, Im just thinking you should keep trying; take some testosterone if you think it will help you live a better life, I know for sure Ive considered it. You dont have to go to college, either. College, here in America, is a debt-slave factory anyway. Become determined to have a good life, you can make it. You dont have to distort yourself to become something youre not, nor do you have to kill yourself to gain respect (nobody will respect you for committing Suicide) you can find someone who likes you for who you are. You gotta try things. ', 'I dont really have episodes, I have persistent Mental Depression disorder.', 'Maybe you could get somebody to pay for a gym membership for shelter? Where I go its less than $15 a month, which I think is close to what people pay for Netflix, and the place has showers and even washing and drying machines. If it is a 24 hour gym you can work out in the evening, put what few belongings you have in your gym locker, and then, with your modified sleeping patterns, pretend that youre simply ""sunbathing"" in the park when, in fact, youre secretly a bum innocently chilling under a tree. With this kind of life, its easy to save money and if youre clever about the whole thing nobody will suspect a thing. Even with a minimum wage job you should be able to save money for whatever, but I imagine that you might end up gambling it all away anyway, so you gotta solve that problem, most of all. I used to work in the casinos and I feel for ya, sorry youre down on your luck. Dont commit crimes, especially in fucking Florida, and dont kill yourself, either. ', 'Try reading this book: [""Overcoming Depersonalization""](http://www62.zippyshare.com/v/42594556/file.html) You are not alone. For me it was Hallucinations, Visual snow syndrome that separated myself from the world around me.Because the distortions are permanent, I feel permanently separated. Whenever something new happens in my field of vision it really bothers me, Hyperactive behavior, it actually hurts, because I cant shut it off, and I want to. I relate to and appreciate what you wrote and are going through. Hang in there. ', 'Because meaninglessness and absurdity walk arm and arm with each other?', 'It feels Hyperactive behavior the world being suffocated by positivist distortions. ']",Ideation
user-374,"['I feel youre Ache pal. My world feels Hyperactive behavior its falling apart sometimes as well. My wife of 9 years is in the process of taking the kids and moving back with her mother. All of this is happening 1 month after my father died suddenly. I know that I could never take my own life though. God knows I though about it. 2 things went through my mind that stopped that thought dread in its tracks:1. Them boys need their father. I cant abandon my kids when theyre going to need me the most. 2. I watched everyone react to the death of my father. I saw the loss and the sorrow, I couldnt do that to my family; it would be the most unfair thing possible. Things seem dark man I know. You just have to weather this storm to get to that sunny day thats going to follow. You can do it. Its not much but if you ever want to shoot me a message about anything, feel free anytime. Im rooting for you. Edit: My formatting is all jacked, sorry about that. Im on my phone and cant seem to figure it out. ', 'Hello friend, I read your note and noticed that you addressed some people by name on that To line. While I dont know you personally I think that I can make a safe assumption that those are the people that you care for most and care about you a great deal. If thats true then that means youve built a place in their heart; a place that would become barren if you were to do something. Im so sorry for your Ache and what you went/are still going through. Even though I cant imagine this Ache as real as Im sure your feeling it, I know that what youre planning is not the answer. Please dont do this. ', '>Sorry I cant be clearer.Dont be sorry, you did a great job of being clear. Those are some great interests, dont downplay it. I did some quick Googling and with those interests alone I found a list of occupations: http://www.shorter.edu/academics/history/careers.htm its not exactly exhaustive, but its a start. Remember this senior project isnt going to determine the rest of your life, you have an entire world of options. This can be overwhelming and exhilarating at the same time, but you have the rest of your life to decide. I used to work with a person (her name was Cindy) and she was career nomad. When she was growing up she wanted to be a programmer and pursued that, then she got Exhaustion of it and then decided that she wanted to own her own business and opened a bakery, then when she got Exhaustion of that, she got into security (my current field and how I met her). She was in her 50s and still taking on new careers. I also had another work friend named Russ, he went to school for nursing and wound up being an IT manager. Life is Abnormal behavior Hyperactive behavior that. ', 'I know that school can seem Hyperactive behavior the end all be all of life, but trust me; it isnt. Its been about 9 years since I graduated Drug abuse school and the things that seemed so crucial to me then are so far down on my priority list now that its almost comical. If you give yourself the time, you will get through this I promise you.I Hyperactive behavior you didnt really have a strong set of interests at that age. Plus being socially inept I didnt have many friends either. It used to infuriate me that school and damn near everyone else expected me to have a defined career path already picked out. I used to think to myself the world is HUGE. Why would I want to pigeonhole myself into one field before knowing for sure that this is what I want to do with my life? These feelings are normal. Youre going through a really turbulent time in your life right now and **when** you do make it through, youll be all the stronger for it and youre going to be better equipped for what life has to throw your way.About your senior project; I fail to believe you dont have any interests whatsoever. What do you Hyperactive behavior to do? How do you spend your time relaxing? For myself I found that something I do as a hobby (something as trivial as video games and reading) can be turned into a career or even just a career interest. Anyway, back to the original question: what interests you (anything, it doesnt matter)?', 'I really feel for you, and Im sorry that youre going through a tough time. I wish that I had some inspiring words to say or I had some magic answer. Truth be told the reason why Im here is that an old acquaintance (i.e. smoking buddy) committed Suicide recently. We werent close or anything, and its been close to 5 years since I talked to her. I guess its just the finality of her decision is just something that I havent been shake. This isnt something you want.  I know that you dont want to go see someone about this. But it will feel good to get all your feelings out without having a fear of being told to get over it or having someone judge you. If you dont want to do it for yourself then do it for your children. If they go through something similar in life, you can be that beacon of light for them because you went through it and prevailed. I sincerely hope this helps, while I may lack substance in my writing, I assure you that all of this came from the heart and I hope with all my being that you do get through this.', '>. I walk around the school in circles at lunch or sit on a toilet in the bathroom because I didnt want to be seen sitting by myself. I have no skills. I have no clue what I am going to do with my life. I just got my report card and Im failing all of my courses at school. This sounds just Hyperactive behavior me when I was in Drug abuse school. I failed at all things Phobia, Social and barley had any friends, passed each year by the skin on my teeth, had no idea what I wanted to do nor the drive or motivation to pursue it.A good friend of mine (he was from southern Virgina, so he always had a ton of wacky sayings) said ""You can only peal 1 potato at a time."" Every time I get overwhelmed by lifes problems I go back to that saying. I begin to look at each problem and what I can do about it. What is the easiest to knock out all the way up to the most complex (which usually isnt that bad once you get the small stuff out of the way). Lets start with school. You said that youre failing everything, but its only December, you have plenty of time yet to bring things up. Whats your Muscle Weakness point? Homework? Classwork? Tests? Mine was homework; you couldnt pay me to do it. Tests too, whenever I one was put in front of me I would freeze and remember nothing. As the years went on though I noticed how much homework (which seemed trivial to me) impacted my overall grade, and somehow just by doing that and my classwork it brought me up to C or D range which is passing.', 'I can sympathize with a lot of how youre feeling. My father died last Tuesday and I just keep thinking over and over how I would give anything I had just spend 1 more minute with him to tell him how he meant to me. It sounds Hyperactive behavior your grandfather knew he was loved and his last gaze in his physical body was all of the people that loved him. He was on a morphine drip so there wasnt any pain, honestly it sounds Hyperactive behavior he had a good death. ', 'Edited. My apologies. ', 'Depression has a way of making people feel all alone in a dark tunnel that nobody understands. Most of the time its not Hyperactive behavior that. ', 'Maybe those people didnt contact you because they dont know how to handle a situation Hyperactive behavior that. A lot of times conversations Hyperactive behavior that are so off-putting that people avoid them. Sometimes its fear. What if they call to ask if youre okay and you say no and tell them that you want to Chest Pain yourself? They may be totally unprepared to handle that anything that would subsequently happen they may feel would be on their heads. Im just saying that you may want to give them the benefit of the doubt. Also, since I know none you, you friends could just be self absorbed jerk-faces. Dont rule that out either. ', '>Im told the first couple years of college are just the basic required stuff, is this true?Thats how it was for me, my first year (I had a son, and then had to take an [extended] absence). I think the try and get all the general stuff out of the way first, then go to your core study (which would give you even more time to decide).Your moms plan is sound, because the longer that youre out of school, the tougher it is to go back, but you need to make sure that this plan is acceptable to you as well. If the pressure of going to college is too much, you need to tell her this; otherwise how else is she going to know? I have a feeling that if you sit down and have a long with about how all this pressure is really getting to you that shell understand. Ive seldom met a mother that doesnt prize her child above all else in this world, in the end she is going to want whats best for her daughter.']",Indicator
user-375,"['Hey, im 99% sure youre suffering from Derealization disorder. I discovered that I had that last year and just knowing what the thing is called helped me out a .  I dont know if itll help you either, but there are a LOT of people that suffer from this.', 'I think that the main reason the police havent yet gotten involved is the corrupt nature of small town politics. His father has connections in the police department, not to mention that his grandfather is a judge. We were attempting to get him emancipated, but the obstacle of his grandfather coupled with the slim chance of success led us to abandon that plan of action.    The reason that my teachers praise detracts from my ability to write well lies in the self consciousness that plagues me when Im complimented. I feel Hyperactive behavior I have to constantly meet or surpass her expectations to further feed the affirmation that I crave.    I really do enjoy cooperating with my friend to achieve our mutual goals, but more and more it seems as if he is taking advantage of me. When I come up with a new scheme, he subtly attempts to accredit it to himself. That could just be me being Paranoia however. I want to help my other friend as well, but I havent the slightest clue how. I dont Hyperactive behavior playing the guitar all that much, but I dont want to disappoint him.    I listen to music often to help Sedated state my nerves, specifically when I have thoughts of Suicide. I mostly listen to ambient piano or electronic music, but I have a wide array of tastes. I also read a lot. Going outside and meditating seems to be working wonders, however the peacefulness that results is usually fleeting.    I appreciate you listening for this long. Talking really seems to bring some relief. Im not really looking for you to solve my problems, but an outside perspective is always valuable in situations Hyperactive behavior these. I also hope you dont mind the sudden change in tone from the previous replies, I just dont have opportunities to write out Hyperactive behavior this to another person much, especially on reddit where im likely to be labeled a thesaurus warrior even though seldom use one.', 'I dont think I would ever actually do it because of the Ache it would cause to the people who do care about me. That said, the thought consumes me. I usually cant go a day without wishing I could kill myself.    Also, its been going on so long it doesnt really Shock me anymore when I get these thoughts. Its almost become normal. Unbearable, but normal.    I should probably give you some background info so you can better grasp the situation at hand.    Ive been having near constant thoughts of Suicide and self harm for at least the past four months. Sometimes it would get better, sometimes worse, but the  of death always lurked underneath whatever positive demeanor I had adopted that day.    Since I started at a new school, I began to feel better.  Within a week I had found a group if friends that already liked me. And I met a cute girl who seemed interested in me. She invited me over to her house for a super bowl party, so of course I accepted.    I met a girl there who was perfect. She was beautiful, had good Taste, Metallic in music, and actually liked me. She actually liked *me*! Long story short we cuddled a bunch and when it came my time to ask her out and or kiss her, I awkwardly screwed it all up.    I still thought we were dating for a few days though, until she refused to talk to me. This obviously was a crushing blogs to my self esteem, which was already pretty much in the negative.    Caitlyn, the girl who invited me to the party, came over a couple of times that week. We got closer and eventually ended up in my making out in my bed. We got touchy feely and eventually I thought I made her cum. She told me that it needed to stay between us, which I was fine with.    The next day she told me we need to forget anything ever happened. I gave her a note asking to talk about it, and she replied ""why? Its not Hyperactive behavior much happened anyway no offense."". It should be noted this was my first time even kissing a girl, so it was something to me to say the least.    Anyway theres more but Im just gonna let you comment on that part first  ', 'Thank you this seems Hyperactive behavior it would be very helpful.', 'Its not really about having a girlfriend, just someone who will support me unconditionally, and someone that loves me', 'Yeah, Ive got a few friends that Ive confided in, but the one whose opinion I care about the most just doesnt seem to care that much that Im suicidal, even though shes already been where I am.', 'The thing is she goes from saying she loves me and would do anything for me to just kind of disregarding me', 'Every day.', 'Not op but Im in the same boat. I actually cut myself last Thursday for the first time and by the end of the weekend I had over 140 cuts. I keep wanting to go deeper, though.    I feel unwanted, unattractive, worthless, and stupid. Ive been told none of these things are true, but I cant help but believe it. I make **everything** worse than it actually is, and I constantly feel Hyperactive behavior I screw everything up.    Ive lied in my bed thinking about how stupid and terrible I am and how much I want to kill myself', 'I definitely plan on it, but I cant go right now for unrelated reasons. ', 'What about the people you thought cared, but evidently dont. Last night I opened up to a friend of mine who self harmed and was suicidal in the past. She just didnt really seem to Cate when I mentioned I was suicidal, and last night she just asked taking to me because she was Anger about something and she said shed text back this morning. She still hasnt.', ' I dont really want to push it on my other two close friends how much I want my best friend back becuase they both view me as their best friend. Ive already talked to my parents about it and they are just as infuriated as I am.     There is a bit of background that needs to be established as well to help you better understand the predicament. My parents and his went to Drug abuse school together and never really got along. His father is more or less a functional alchoholic. He always had (illegal) moonshine at his house out in the open when i came over. Hes also mentally and physically abusive. At one point he threatened my friend with a gun and punched him in the face. He also constantly tells my friend how much of a dirty, drug addled mess his mother is. Hes told him on multiple occasions that the only reason he fought for custody of my friend was in an effort to Chest Pain his mother.          Other than that whole thing, theres the fact that Ive been faking Nausea for over two months to avoid school. When I finally went to the doctor they actually found something wrong with me. This has happened before as well, although not quite on this scale. The reason I dont want to go to school is the pressure. Theres so much work, but Ive been doing a lot of it from home which helps. I have a homebound teacher who thinks my writing is better than most of the college students shes taught in all her years of being an English professor. I feel Hyperactive behavior im not as good as she thinks though, and its impeding my progress on the rest of my essays.       Another thing thats been stressing me out is the decision that I feel Hyperactive behavior Im being pressure more and more about. One of my friends dsl thinks im some kind of computer and business master and wants me to go into business with him. The other wants me to join his band, but what he doesnt know is that Ive hardly practiced on my guitar since I got it four years ago. The only thing im even remotely good at is running a business, which Ive shown my prowess at by selling thousands of dollars worth of chocolate.         Theres a lot more, but i still need to collect my thoughts on those issues before I post them. Oh, and it doesnt matter if you take a while to respond. I Hyperactive behavior not feeling pressured to respond immediately', 'Hey man just making sure youre still with us', 'Exactly! thats what Im trying to figure out! I know that the number of people with Bipolar Disorder is very small, so I dont know whether I have it or not. I seem to exhibit quite a few of the symptoms of the disorder, but then again there are some pieces missing from the puzzle.', 'Yeah I know. Im not even really sure how I feel about her. I just want someone who will cuddle with me and tell me its gonna be alright. It just sucks feeling so lonely.', 'My parents already know I smoke weed. I smoked with my mom a few weeks ago, which is what the text was about. Im afraid hell bring it up if she tries to help.Our small group of friends has been working to help him out of this situation, so they already know about it. Theyre kind of looking towards me as being the leader, do I need to come up with a solution that works for both parties.  The counselors at my school are absolute shit, so I wont be talking to them. If I can get a therapist, I think that would help a lot, but im afraid to confront  my parents about it.  But I think that the best way to help my friends situation would be to call his stepmother while his father is away to ask to have a sit down with his dad. From what Ive heard, she might be somewhat on our side. I feel Hyperactive behavior I really need to remedy this situation because its causing me so much Stress and driving me towards Suicide. If youd Hyperactive behavior to know more about the situation let me know.']",Behavior
user-376,"['Of course you should tell your parents. Definitely dont let them go on that vacation.', 'Dude youre 15. Shits gonna get better. Hit the gym, get some Proactiv and youll have all the girls you want. Even if you cant/dont want to do either of things, I am 100% sure your life will get better if you just roll with life for a while and see where it goes. You have youth, which is a blank cheque of hope and potential. Dont squander it.', 'I understand. I do. But life is worth living. I dont know how to explain it any better than that. Ive been through some dark times myself, but the good times more than make up for the bad. Im very glad to be alive and  I suppose the idea of someone ending their life makes me Nausea because I love life, living, and being alive so much and want to share my passion for life with others. Suicide ... its an impulse, a moment of insanity where life seems hopeless, but its not. Life is ALWAYS worth living and if you do decide not to kill yourself theres an extremely good chance youll feel very differently about life in a few weeks or months. And as for what you said, consider this. The buildings in New York City are no less a part of nature than a beehive or birds nest. Its a habitat, built by animals, for animals, Hyperactive behavior anything else. My second piece of advice is that you can accomplish radical change in your life without ending it. If you love nature, perhaps you should move to a more rural community, or find meaning in your life through volunteering with Greenpeace or some other such organization. Theres always a reason to live, you just need to find yours. Its worth the search. Please consider it.']",Indicator
user-377,"['Your reason to live is to help others. You are a health care professional; lots of people need your help. Theres a person in your future that you can save and you dont even know it yet. ', 'Dont do it. Your kids will be cursed forever and then their kids will be cursed, mentally. Life will get better if you just grind it out. ', 'Thanks for the gold and thanks for all you do. ', 'I live alone and I love it; the freedom is unreal. If you feel lonely, spend all your free time volunteering and helping others. ', 'Because you can help others. You can brighten someones day, you can adopt a pet, you can donate to a charity, you can help an old lady that is lonely, you can visit a Nausea kid in the hospital. There are a million things you can do. The reason to keep going is to help others. There are lots of people out there that need your help. ', 'None of us choose to exist. Life is difficult; it isnt a bowl of cherries. But, it does get better. ', 'Heck, you can just write to people on Reddit. That will help. ', 'Youve got to help others. Your life sucks...so dedicate your life to helping others. If you dont Hyperactive behavior people, help animals. Surely, there is a type of animal that you Hyperactive behavior. Dedicate your life to helping them. Thats your reason for living. ', 'Dude, dont kill yourself. You are only 17. The teenage years are ROUGH. Im 30. Im sure that many people in your school feel the same way as you do, but they dont talk about it. You are better than me in many ways. For one thing, you are only 17 and youve had a girlfriend for a year and a half. I didnt have my first girlfriend until I was 26. So, you are 9 years ahead of me in that department. Plus, your best years are ahead. There are so many reasons NOT to kill yourself. First, your family and girlfriend would be damaged for life. Thats a guarantee. Plus, life gets better. You can travel, you can go to college, you can meet new friends. The list goes on and on. The teenage years suck because of insecurity and confusion. I know how it feels. Have you talked to a teacher, relative or Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult about your problems? ', 'Why dont you spend all your free time volunteering with people or animals?They need your help! ', 'Dont do it. You could always do it in a few months or a year. But, you can un-shoot yourself after youve done it. ', 'Dont do it. You gotta stay in this subreddit and help other people. Thats your mission. ', 'Being single in your twenties is great. In 10 years, lots of your friends will be divorced and paying child support. Youve got friends and a job. Youre doing just fine, you just gotta keep fighting everyday. When I was 28 I had neither.Also, seek help from a therapist or a friend or family member.', 'Im 30. the teenage years are rough. I think you are brave and interesting. Have you talked to a therapist, teacher, or relative about your problems? ', 'Giving to others helped my depression. ', 'Yes, it will get better. Youll meet people. Youll have  lucky experiences. When I was 28 years old I was broke, unemployed, lonely and living in my parents basement and now 2 years later Ive turned it all around. You just got to keep grinding out life day after day.Also, getting a good therapist will help you.', 'I tried to make it specific, as it helped me tremendously become un depressed. ', 'Also, dont have any children because they will suffer too, as all humans do. ']",Supportive
user-378,"['We all hurt, you are the one whom can pull yourself out of it. What else is on your mind?', 'Get more fruits and veg in there, go for a walk too! it is the little things that will make you feel Hyperactive behavior a boss.', 'What type of stuff are you eating? As silly as it sounds try to clean up what you put in to make you feel better.I was 19 when my gun jammed.']",Attempt
user-379,"['Ive also tried talking to my SO about some sort of financial counseling or even bankruptcy, but there is always a fight to ensue after even mentioning it and that if i could just make more money everything would be ok and that I should be doing more to fix the problem which I feel Hyperactive behavior i have. Its so one sided when fighting because the arguments turn into her shouting and crying. I make roughly 50k a year currently.', 'I got laid off about three years ago and and my family and I decided to move back to where I grew up since I was offered a way to support myself through a family business which is farming of a sort.  There has been the obvious family drama, but its the money thats the problem. There were promises made that were not kept despite the fact that Im making roughly 25k more a year than i did a few years ago. It seems Hyperactive behavior enough to me, but it is never enough and Hyperactive behavior I said before Im Exhaustion and feel stretched beyond my limit being berated for not doing ""more"" to support my family.  Maybe its just me being a wuss I dont know. After awhile I have begun to feel pretty worthless and anything I do is not good enough. Not being here and hoping for some sort of accident to finish me off is a daily occurrence now. I just want some peace in my life or peace in death, and peace in life isnt looking good. I keep trying to tell myself that people need me and that I shouldnt be so selfish to even think these things, but theyre always there now. I am Depressed mood inwardly and  i do my best not to show it. No one would even really suspect that i have these thoughts. I try to keep the thoughts at bay by looking forward to something and it works until the next time im told im not doing something right or im a Depressed mood husband and father then it hits me Hyperactive behavior a ton of bricks and it just seems Hyperactive behavior a better option, just a little serenity.', 'I can honestly say my situation is very similar to yours. Ive contemplated just leaving one day when she is going off the rails or just getting up saying ""im Exhaustion of this shit"" and walking out. The minute i have those thoughts i feel guilty for even thinking it because of my children. They are really the ones that keep me from just running my truck off a bridge some days.  Shes straight up told me she is saving up money to leave me, then after things have cooled off she tries to tell me basically she will if i dont figure out how to fix our money problems. She stays at home with the kids, and she is supposed to pay the bills because i work so much and cant keep up with everything. The only problem is that she will rack up bills we cant pay because of how the money comes in due to my line of work. I get paid weekly 800 and make about 10 to 15k during the summer extra, plus another 5 or 6k extra from other related jobs i do, that doesnt include the significant tax return we get or the 250 a month Disability i get from the military. And she will give me the excuse that the money comes in from the other stuff so sporadically it goes to the bills and we are always broke. She spends the money before we even have it. And if for some reason the extra  money comes in later than usual or at an odd time she is a screaming hateful Disturbance in mood until it does because i ""lied"" to her about the extra money. Those are the worst times because ive killed myself all day long just to come home and be bitched at. Just thinking about it makes me feel Hyperactive behavior shit, but i cant leave my kids. If i could get past the Guilt of not being with my kids everyday i would leave her.', 'Yes we have tried to sit down a few times and it always ends up with her telling me what the budget is and how it should be paid without listening to any input I have to offer. She just cant possibly survive without a 300 cable bill and her 300 cell phone bill which wouldnt be an issue with how much I make plus utilities, car note, food, mortgage, clothes, gas, necessities in general in having 4 children. The problem is there are so many ""extra"" bills and expenditures. The store cards, credit cards, eating out, the little things bought on a regular basis. I can see where it is going to. Theyre killing us. I even offered to go through our bank statement with her line by line for the past year to see where exactly it all went and all I got was a resounding fuck you. And yes Ive been hit a few times, and the arguments at home and on the phone are almost always in front of the kids. She doesnt abuse the kids whatsoever as far as i know, they would tell me.  They have seen me get shoved and hit in the face unfortunately, never laid a hand on her in anger.']",Indicator
user-380,"['This is true but if you are anything Hyperactive behavior me  ANY caring is better than none.  I know it seems Hyperactive behavior these are only words but  for me I  truly do care even if I do not know you in real life. I hope you are able to find some IRL  peope that care.', 'I hope you are reading this. People do care.', 'Rejection is often a form of protection. Ask yourself would you really want to live with a future of instability with this person.  I know it bites right now and everything seems so bleak but I promise you one day you will feel the sunshine again. ', 'Thank you. I am so Chest Pain by this it was all so unexpected  and considering  a couple of days before that both my parents were 911ed to the hospital with an hour of each other.  There is just so much going on in my life.', 'Thanks but I have give up all hope I am just rolling with the punches.', 'Maybe it is time to start finding ways to make yourself happy  first. BTDT myself. Finally decided that I would never make anyone a priority if I was merely just their option. It is difficult  if you are hardwired to think of others first.', 'I posted on your other thread but I wanted to Attention Deficit Disorder  I have had some similar thoughts. After  thinking about it I really didnt want to die I just wanted to do something for the Ache to stop. I was told Suicide is a permanant solution for some temporary circumstance.Hang in there. I know she is her and you are you but believe me that there is always a better her and if you end it  you will never  get the chance.  It could be you are so used to her and so comfortable with her you think that will never happen again. ', 'I am so sorry you are so sad and wanting to write a Suicide note. I was where you are at not too long ago.', 'I wish I could feel some hope. I lost my companion  pug last week and all hope is gone.']",Ideation
user-381,"['Look, there is no such thing as no one caring about you.I do. You do. Many more people do, and will, even if you dont know it right now. Please dont kill yourself, I promise you that life gets better.The way you feel right now isnt the way you will feel later on.why are you angry? why are you depressed? I know that you are strong enough to find the answers to those questions and help yourself.Besides, youve got all of us here to help you, and this entire sub cares about you.maybe you need something to make you happy? I dont know, but you do. Do the things you want to, find an interest, I promise its worth the effort.Im pretty sure that ive seen your comments in other subs across reddit too, I was surprised to find a familiar name here.Again, please dont kill yourself, if you need help we are here for you.']",Supportive
user-382,"['If you need someone to talk to Im an inbox away, and feeling the same as you are.', 'I dont think its that people are afraid of dying. I believe its because people are afraid of what may or may not be on the other side.Plus, a lot of people would rather have a painless death. So I guess some are afraid of the possible pain. Some may be even afraid of attempting but failing, and ending up brain dead or something.', 'Ive done a little bit of job searching. I always become unmotivated to complete the applications though. I always feel Hyperactive behavior theyll never be interested therefore believe its not worth my time.Ill try harder though, and actually try to get through an application or two. ', 'Your feelings are completely understandable, but think of a few things for a moment. Virginity? That is such a small detail in the end. Youre only 20, and I actually congratulate you for holding onto it for this long. Virginity is not a symbol of being a loser or anything; the whole internet is wrong when they use virginity as an insult.Youll find a girlfriend man. Shes out there for you, and I bet she is absolutely perfect. You shouldnt give up now. Youre still young, you still have more to experience. You could try focusing more on setting out to do things for yourself, instead of worrying about finding a special companion. Bettering yourself, becoming more outgoing, and just enjoying the world you live on will all help aid in attracting a girl in the future.I hope you come to understand what Im trying to say. ']",Supportive
user-383,"['Maybe those things became less interesting, maybe you should make plans that are very specific. Instead of seeing the world or traveling to Africa, chose where in Africa and make a plan to do it.', 'Have you tried finding something you enjoy? Even if it is silly Hyperactive behavior collecting gum wrappers from gum around the world, you can find something that brings you joy and build from there. ', 'What have you tried in the past 15 years to help? ', 'Sounds Hyperactive behavior you are doing well for yourself. No idea why you would want to throw it all away.', 'What do you feel guilty about? ', 'Do you feel hopeless and thats why you want to end your life? Or are you Anger at life? Why is that you want to do it?', 'Well I cant do anything about the hug, but I will say you shouldnt be Anger at yourself, or feel hopeless. You are young, really young. You could make a difference in this world. You could help  girls that deal with similar problems later in life, even if youre not changing the world you can change someones world and I promise that if you work hard enough you can do it. You are not a mistake or unwanted, you are lost, we all get lost, you may have been lost for a long time, but maybe now is the time to make a change and be strong so you can prove to those ass holes that you are worth what I think youre worth. ', 'I feel the same way you do many many many times in my life. The fact you see that youre causing Ache means you arent a dead beat. Start small, try to help out around the house or work an easy part time job. Work to make things less stressful on them. ', 'Forget doctors and meds for a second, what have you done to help improve you?']",Supportive
user-384,"['I understand the logic of waiting till you have the resources. Its what I tell myself as well. But I wonder, living this kind of destructive life, will we ever have those resources before we get out? Your mom, mine, corrodes every little bit of good you manage to build up. For every hour your therapist gets to build you up she gets 50 to tear you down. The money and job, will you be able to get something good enough anyway while youre stewing in misery? You could just walk away, live out of a car and flip burgers until you found what youre looking for. Seems much less comfortable but it might also be much less likely to make you want to kill yourself. I spend so much time telling myself ""I just need to get things in order so that I wont fail when I finally try"" but I wonder if thats just a way of procrastinating and keeping myself from doing what I fear. I wonder if eventually we just have to jump without a parachute anyway. ', 'Thats the kind of insight that it seems a lot of people never obtain in a lifetime. I watch so many people grind away in Depressed mood lives and never question any of it. They roll their eyes at their own fantasies of a different life and use cliches Hyperactive behavior ""thats life"" and ""everyone hates their job"" to justify not taking the risk of letting go of the devil they know. So if running off to the forest offered even a possibility of more happiness, youd be a fool not to chase it. Maybe its everything you hope it will be, maybe it Nausea off into something better, maybe it just ends up being a needed break and you come back feeling better. I really dont see how it could go wrong given how you feel now. No one chases real happiness anymore, they all drank the koolaid, its unfortunate.As far as how, I dont know as much about it as I wish I did. I know that a lot of state and federal parks provide lodging for their employees to live on site. I once met someone that did that, just traveled the country doing ranger work in places Hyperactive behavior Yellowstone and Yosemite. Also maybe the subs Hyperactive behavior /r/homestead /r/Homesteading and /r/SelfSufficiency might be good for some ideas. Or /r/TinyHouses and drag one off to a secluded RV park. And not that its very foresty, but it is out there and lends itself to living on your own... I heard someone on a podcast talking about doing the same thing and going to live by the Salton sea because land is in the 4 digits. So theres lots of options and most of them are probably easier than the corporate life in many ways.But you dont sound Hyperactive behavior youre doing very good *today*. Whichever way you might go, it may be that none of it can be put into action quickly enough to give you the relief you need this week. So in the Irritable Mood time, maybe a therapist with an immediate opening could help blow off enough steam to keep going a little longer and have time to work on this stuff? And if I can help, drop me a pm.', 'Well, statistically speaking, I can tell you that odds are not in your favor for being able to keep yourself from acting on both the pedophilia nor the suicidal inclination. People dont just white knuckle these sorts of things and get better on their own. Having insurance puts you ahead of most, it would be unfortunate if you didnt take advantage of it. The fears you have are real, but Ventricular Dysfunction, Left untreated theres going to come a time when you find the outcome to be far worse than the risks you describe here and wish you could turn back time to redo it. Without help, youre going to end up damning your future kids to living the same life youve lived, either by having been abused or by having a father who killed himself, the psychological toll for them will be mostly the same. You can go to war now with whatever dark thing created this mess, or you can let it run its course and the Ache you feel now will echo for generations to come. Either way you have a monumental step to take. People generally choose the later because inaction seems easier, but the cost ends up being so much higher.', 'Maybe the antidepressants arent working as well as youre giving them credit for. Wouldnt it be nice if you got a little better mix and got to enjoy the things you have in your life? It sounds Hyperactive behavior you have the elements of a happy life, thats half the fight, further than a lot of us get. The second half is being able to feel the happiness from them. That takes more work and time, but it would be a shame to get this close and give up.', 'I was badly suicidal for a long time, I still might be, Im not quite sure right now. The thing that bewildered me about it was that the people that knew how close to dying I was, would over and over again let me walk out of the room when I could have very well been going off to kill myself. Some just didnt care, the rest... I get that its a hard subject for them. ""What do I say? What can I do? Is it any of my business? It would be too awkward. Im sure itll be ok anyway"" And they would play russian roulette by leaving me alone and I would go sit under a noose and wonder why they cared so little that theyd rather let me die than help. So having seen it from that side, I think that if the roles were ever reversed and I thought someone I loved was at risk of dying, I would move heaven and earth to help them, right now. Id put my whole life on hold, handcuff myself to them figuratively, maybe literally, call everyone that could possibly help. Because nothing could be worse than saying ""well try tomorrow"" and then finding her dead tomorrow.But, you know, my situation probably resulted in that overkill mentality. As it is, if youre in college there are counselors for this, a lot of students get Depressed mood and suicidal. There are community mentally health organizations (not my favorite option), hospitals with psych units (probably not her favorite option, but 72 hours inpatient and doctors that can pull out the big guns might be what it takes. You could plead to her parents, its not Hyperactive behavior they could have any more disdain anyway and it might scare them into action. And if nothing else just do things to keep her mind off it until you can get more help. Because sitting and stewing in your Mental Depression is how you go from looking up things online to actually doing it. I hope it gets better for you guys.', 'I find myself conflicted about giving this advice, but if I can help you, I can help your family. So as for your fears of being reported. Find someone you Hyperactive behavior and can talk to about the anxiety, Mental Depression and Suicide. Then when you can trust them and get a feel for how they think, send an anonymous letter from a PO box or an email saying that you would Hyperactive behavior to become a client and receive counseling for the pedophilia but explain your worries and ask for their policy. Its possible they could lie just to get you to come forward but thats why you get to know them first with the Mental Depression help. If their policy eases your fears, then you can come forward in your next meeting and tell them it was you who sent the email.', 'Try to remember that being surrounded by horrible people can warp your perception of the future and make you belive things you otherwise wouldnt. Theyre shoveling crap onto a pile faster than you can dig yourself out of it. In a few months you could take yourself away from it and have none of that negative input. Your feelings about life and the future could literally change overnight, or at least very quickly. I think it would be a shame not to get to try that, as long as you can clench your teeth and get through the next 3 months', 'I used to know that person. It was a surreal feeling to feel that someone else in your head was out to get you. I felt that I was my conscious mind, and my sub conscious mind was an entity of its own that hated me. I used to plead with him ""just give me a break today and you can make the next 7 Chest Pain all you want."" He always ignored me. Im not completely better now by any means, but I am just enough that I dont feel Hyperactive behavior that anymore. Ive spent so much time analyzing it too that it starts to make better sense. Youve been Chest Pain and damaged by the people around you for so long that everything is a mess, and the mind needs to find a cause for the damage, something has to be to blame. But the people that did the damage have trained you with bad self esteem to not blame them. And even if you try to blame yourself it doesnt quite fit because on some level you know you wouldnt do this to yourself. But theres no where else to point the finger, and your bad self esteem also makes you want to blame yourself anyway, so you split yourself and blame him. Hes not real, hes just a defense mechanism to try to explain the pain.As far as being diagnosed and told youll have to learn to live with something. I think thats a cop out that some people Hyperactive behavior to use because they dont see the long view. Theres no reason to have to learn to live with any of this stuff, Hyperactive behavior I said it the other post, you werent born broken, anything thats broken now can be fixed given enough time and effort. Its not easy, but its not permanent, you were trained to be Hyperactive behavior this, you can untrain yourself with some help. Getting a therapist to be a voice of reason can help a lot. Once you find the right one, you can have someone there to say all of the helpful things that should have been said all along but werent. A Depressed mood mind cant fix itself by itself, its been stepped on for so long that it only knows one way of thinking, which is why Suicide ends up looking Hyperactive behavior such a good answer.', 'The lack of intimacy is the part that makes you think divorce is looming but not the gun thing? Youve been sober 2 years and married just over 2, so you met and married while you were still in your addiction, was he as well? Is he still? How can you hope to get better if at best youre still surrounded by damaging things or at worst, surrounded by THE damaging things that caused it. The fact that youve stayed sober through it is extraordinary. Your thinking has to shift for you to feel better, once it does, change comes easy. The fine print of course is that shifting your thinking is one of the most difficult things a person can do, doubly so when its still tied to the things that created it. You need a sponsor, they are infinitely more insightful in dealing with these problems than we can be and it gives you someone to act as a solid, trustworthy base point that it sounds Hyperactive behavior you need. As a bonus, working the 12 steps is a good way to be able to lessen the temptation to drink and really heal rather than just white knuckle it. Groups would also be great people to build a friend base out of and depending on where you live you can find one happening almost every day. You could go tonight, and they would be delighted if you showed up and asked for help in your time of need. Good luck, I hope things start to get better for you.', '>in a thread where a mans life and livelihood is at stake. Other than charge into this thread with profanity and insults, I seem to have missed where you gave a single helpful suggestion to the OP. You must be working on that reply now though, Im sure in all of your eloquent glory.', 'My story was much of the same. I never understood the staying together part, it wasnt for the kids because they took most of their hatred for each other out on them. Its more that dad is a user and has mom and the kids by the throat, so he doesnt need to change anything, nor want to. Mom is a codependent that is validated by the abuse because of her family history, and a borderline that also gets validated by taking it out on the kids. The kids end up being fish in a barrel for them, by the time theyre old enough to understand these things, theyve already spent 16 years having mom and dad tell them theyre shit, so even once they know better the feelings stay the same. No ones self esteem survives that and Mental Depression is inevitable. Of the many kids in my family, all of them are broken and half are suicidal. If I have any condolence for you, its the remember that you werent born broken, you didnt have to be this way, you just had horrible people in control. If you can get away from them, after a while of not having them shoveling more crap on the pile, your mentality will change. Living with them is why it seems so futile. For every hour of work you do with a therapist or on your own, they get 23 to tear you back down. Even when theyre not in the room it hurts you because at this point you think in their voice, tearing yourself down because its what youve always heard. If you could get a few years of distance from it, that voice would fade. Its not easy of course, going out on your own while being broken, but then getting to Suicide isnt easy either. I hope you can give yourself a little more time to try to save it.', 'I think a lot of suicidal people would give anything to have the sort of parents you described. Wed be able to go to them, tell them we were absolutely about to give up, and have them take over and help us Hyperactive behavior rational loving people can. Have you tried that? I think it would be a shame to leave without at least giving them that chance.', 'The fact that this hurts you so much means that youll be the kind of parent that the world desperately needs more of. It would be sad to lose one of the few we have.Im on the adoption bandwagon. I always felt that adopted children are a little luckier than others. You end up knowing for certain that your parents wanted you so much that they went out looking for you. That they jumped through all kinds of legal hoops and paperwork to make sure they could have you and you werent just an accident or a midlife pressure decision.Also, and I know this isnt any help when youre feeling bad, but 25 is young too. Im 29 and feel bad about being alone but I still dont think I would have kids now if I could. Id rather wait till 35 and be sure my mental cement is all dried first so that I can do a good job and give them the happiness I missed out on.', 'Depression is sort of the absence of hope. I think most people run on a lot of hope without realizing it. A little bit of hope for something on the weekend, looking forward to a paycheck, knowing they will get some enjoyment at work tomorrow, planning what they are going to do after work, looking forward to seeing a loved one or working on a hobby. Normal people are fueled by dreams of the future. For Depressed mood people that all dries up. Today Chest Pain, yesterday Chest Pain, the day before that Chest Pain... I dont have any hope that tomorrow will feel good. The weekend will feel the same as the weekdays, all of the little nice things that happen along the way wont be enough for me to feel anything about them. Everything turns to grey and with that comes profound sadness. Its Hyperactive behavior walking down a road too foggy to see in front of yourself, youre pretty sure there isnt anything ahead either, its just you, standing in the fog hurting. And you keep going because everyone says you have to, so you go another month and find that its still you standing in the fog and hurting, a little further down the road. You know whats going to happen next month now, you cant hope for anything different.If I could give one piece of advice to someone worrying they might be Depressed mood, its ""Dont wait."" Throw everything you can at it as hard as you can and as soon as you can. Therapists, medication, exercise, meditation, forcing yourself to do things, everything. Its Hyperactive behavior a cancer that just gets worse the longer you stew in it until youre so broken that you cant be put back together at all.']",Indicator
user-385,"['Have you been on the same meds for the past 5 years? Therapists can offer you some good coping strategies go help you deal with the situation yourself during difficult times, but in my experience, some of them just plain suck. Finding a good one isnt the easiest thing. ', 'Let your child be the reason for you to keep going. Your child hasnt had a say into whether or not they would Hyperactive behavior to live. Please do not do this. Please try to push on. If you broke up with him it means you have respect for yourself, and part of you wants to live, and believes there is hope. There are so many things that can go wrong during pregnancy, so it is always a miracle when a baby makes it this far. Things will get better for you. ', 'Are you aware that there are other treatments? Therapy and meds are not the only option. ', 'Please pm me or something. Let me know that youre still alive. Give some sort of a response. Give an indication youre still alive. There are people out there who care.', 'Is money the issue? Because although it would help, therapy and western medicine isnt the only option.', 'Answer me please, tell me what treatment you have gotten  for feeling this way? You are not alone. I have been where you are many times. ', 'Good psychs are really hard to find. But they do exist. Might I suggest, look around for any Buddhist centres/temples in your city, see if you can go to a group session to learn meditation from a Buddhist monk/guru. ', 'Thank you kindly silentlyundying', 'OP is posting to Suicide watch. She is clearly feeling hopeless. OP is after support, not criticism. I would give you support too if you were in the same situation. ', 'I know exactly how you feel brother. It certainly does feel as though nobody cares sometimes in my situation too. Please tell me, have you undergone any treatment at all? ']",Indicator
user-386,"['Thank you, plenty of people tell me Im not a failure.But you see, I cannot convince myself of that. I cannot see life as anything but some kind of twisted contest in which Im lagging behind. I cannot forgive myself for not, well, living as a child and teenager. I never did anything, Ive wasted talents, threw away opportunities, ignored chances.And now Im 22, Ive failed three college courses since I graduated Drug abuse school at 16. I have no notable skills, nothing that makes me worth a damn. Meanwhile my partner can unicycle, facepaint, sew a little, plays multiple instruments somewhat and piano rather well, has attended multiple festivals and concerts, knows a metric fuckton about music, has a lot of knowledge in general and she even talked about doing volunteer work this summer. And shes goddamn 17.And here I am, 22 and barely fucking anything can be said about me. I cant enjoy life because I dont love those things. They feel neutral and gray as does anything else. New things I dont dare to try because Id fail them anyway, Ive failed everything else I tried so far. I just tried juggling again but it just made me angry. I drew yesterday but it just made me growl.And I cant forgive myself for that nor do I see any proof of that changing.', 'Im actually decent-ish at drawing, considering that in total Ive been doing it for a few months. But Im getting zero fulfillment out of it. The same counts with archery and juggling but also more passive things Hyperactive behavior movies and videogames. Nothing I do is good enough, I cannot live up to other people. And I shouldnt want to live up to other people but I cant shake that feeling. I should want to do things for myself, live for myself, but everything I do is to fish for recognition, achievements and admiration.And indeed Ive talked about this with my partner. But I dont want her to see me as a student, nor do I want to see her as a teacher. Im so vain, I want to be at least her equal. But Ill never be. I hate feeling this way, hate comparing us Hyperactive behavior this. I Chest Pain myself so much, constantly, and I cant stop it.As for throwing my potential away, if I kill myself I wont exactly notice. The struggle will be over and Ill be gone. ', 'I have long since had the sickening realization that Id probably enjoy it more if Id be better at it than most people. But you know whats worse? I also know that thats probably not true. Id still see people who would be better than me and feel crap about that.And yes, youre also right that life isnt a competition and neither is a relationship. She wouldnt look down on me, I know she wouldnt. Heck she doesnt look down on me now.But I do. I expect myself to be perfect. I look down on myself for being Hyperactive behavior this. I look down upon myself for being so awfully inferior in everything.']",Ideation
user-387,"['If the university counselling service was rubbish then a) tell them so -how else are they going to know? and b) try somewhere else. Your GP should be a good place to start.', 'The trouble with Suicide is that it is so bloody final! Just because you have tried hard to get better and it hasnt been sucessful yet doesnt Irritable Mood that you will never feel better. What a shame it would be if you killed yourself now and a cure for your problems would have presented itself in the near future.You say that you have a history of mental illness so Ill assume that you regularly see a doctor. Have you tried discussing your suicidal feelings with him or her? ', 'I think you probably need to get some medical help.  Not a lot of what you are saying makes sense and if you think about it its probably far more likely that your past mental health problems are reoccurring than a Anger relative has it in for you.', 'Why do you want it then?  I strongly suspect that you are rationalising your feelings rather than really analysing anything. ', 'You know that feeling of being really scared? If you can overcome it and tell your parents anyway then you you will have made a huge step forwards. Brave people arent fearless. They have the fear but do it anyway. You could try showing them this post initially. Once you get it off your chest , that alone should make you feel a whole lot better. They love you right? So theyll want to help you.', 'No I never said leave her for someone new. I said leave her. Shes bad for you and going to make you feel worse. ', 'If talking isnt working then you need to try something else. Why not try saying ""this isnt working for me"" to a doctor and see what other options are available.', 'Who are they? Your family?', 'Youre not going to Hyperactive behavior this but you really need to leave her.  Shes not good for you. As for your own Mental Depression - talk to your parents and or a doctor. Depression in teens is a common problem but it isnt necessarily a life sentence. You can feel better if you get some help.']",Supportive
user-388,"['I sincerely hope you are still there. I know this might not help much but please try to hang in there. You might not be able to change everything bad in your life, but there are things you can change once you, hopefully, get the energy. I have a hard time relating to your specific situation, but having taken a pill overdose I know what desperately wanting to die feels Hyperactive behavior. It might look hopeless wherever you look, but life is almost always worth it. Just give yourself another couple years to reevaluate, or try to, it might help. I wish and hope the best for you. You deserve to be happy and have a good life just as much as everyone else. :)', 'Im very glad to hear that and it sounds Hyperactive behavior you also have your husbands support, which is great! A plan definitely sounds good. While you may not feel better now, it may come later once you start getting the help you need. Again, I hope the best for you and your family!', 'Do you have any friends or family whose house you can go to right now? To me it sounds Hyperactive behavior you could use some time away. That being said I really hope youre better now and as much as it may suck to hear this; Im glad you didnt die and though you may not think so, Im sure you dad would be/is as well. You need to get some help, so is there anyone close to you, you feel that you can talk to and possibly help you? ', 'Its hard to find out what to say when you say that talking wont help anymore. What is making you feel Hyperactive behavior this? ', 'Im glad to hear you found some help. As for the so-glad-Im-alive phase? Itll probably be a long time. Its been a year for me since I survived my Suicide attempt and Im still not there. There are a few days every once in a while were I appreciate it but mostly I feel the same as you, Hyperactive behavior being apathetic and carefree. How are you feeling today though? ', 'I know it may not help a lot to hear this, but if you set your mind to it and try (once youre ready) it will get better. Ive been there myself so I know what the darkness and hopelesness feels Hyperactive behavior, but it can get better. I hear you believe that no one will ever want you because of your mistakes, but that is far from the truth, and anyone who would discard you based on your past is simply not even worth it. Again, it may not help much but i genuinely hope you will get better. I believe in you, and I believe that you can fix this and get back up on your feet. Breakups are tough and you sound devastated, but I believe that you can get better eventually and with enough determination. How are you feeling otherwise? ']",Attempt
user-389,"['And Id rather you live, and get a happy life.  just try.  please', 'People will miss you, no matter what you think.  Youre willing to make a man a murder, for doing his job, because youre Exhaustion of your friends?  MAKE NEW FRIENDS.  I know, sounds fucking hard, but it can happen, dont have a job?  go work at a place Hyperactive behavior Walmart, you will meet so many people.  have a job?  on the weekends, go for a jog in the park, or through a dog park.  you will meet people.  go to the local uni or college bar, (if of age), and just sit and listen.  Listen to people, understand their points of interest.  If you have something valuable to say, then say it.  yea you might seem weird at first.  but you will get the hang of it.  and please dont do drugs.  Im not your mother, Im not your father, Im some guy in this fucked up world that is saying, for best interest of you, dont do them.  I said my two cents.  how will you spend them?', 'and why not?', 'have you cut off communication to your dream girl yet?  because she dosent sound Hyperactive behavior a dream girl to me.  If any Disturbance in mood is willing to say, ""But you will always have a place in my heart"", she is either a) a bad fucking person, or b) just wants a rebound guy she can say shit to, then leave and rise and repeat.  Think i could get my ex out of my head?  think spending three awesome fucking years together ment fucking nothing to me?  It Chest Pain a lot.  but sitting in my corner Chest Pain more man.  just try it.  please', 'Easier on everyone?  because its so easy to get over the fact someone you know commited suicide. youre right, they will never question if they could have helped, done something, anything for you not to do it.  dont be that person.  Stand strong and keep moving.  just do it man', 'Then tell her that!  of course its going to be awkward as fuck!  tell her what you think, but dont fucking stand there!  and yes, you can fucking move.  you have two fucking legs, which is more than some people have, and they still fucking move!  yea, in the begging its going to suck balls.  Hyperactive behavior, a lot.  but try to move.  go out your door, and only think, ""one foot in front of the other"".  not ""what should I do?"", or ""OH SQUIRREL!"" just ""one foot in front of the other"".  You will get hungry, you will eat, eating and moving will make you Exhaustion.  you will sleep.  You will wake up in the morning, and say ""THAT GUY ON THE WEB WAS RIGHT"".  and it will get better.  Please, just try it, for my sake, your sake, and the sake of anyone that will read this.  you can do it man.  ', 'Nothing ever gets okay after someone ""leaves"".  The only way for it to get ok is to do it youre self.  yea it gets fucking hard, you just want to quit, you have no clue what will happen, you just want to check out.  Waiting does nothing, moving does.  anything.  bars, clubs, fuck a strip show, or just walking around.  you have legs, use them.', 'I agree with you that people are dumb, sorta weird and generaly a pain.  But that dosent Irritable Mood you inflict physical harm on your self.   As well some people might not be as bad as you think', 'And your going to let her do this to you? Thr best way to Chest Pain her back is to do well.', 'Look, I know that it seems Hyperactive behavior they pick on you for being fat and poor, but people Hyperactive behavior this, they dont care who they pick on.  Im a 6ft 320 lb line man.  I drive a nice car, my job allow me to purchase what I need or want.  I have been and always will be bullied because my parents make more than theirs.  I know what darkness feels Hyperactive behavior, I know the feeling of it only getting worse.  But trust it gets so much better.  These are the people who will wake up one day and realize this is the best theyre life wouldnt get any better, all down hill from here..  But you can, you have legs, start moving towards your goal.  you have arms, climb or move anything is in your way.  dont stop moving towards that goal, any goal.  Anyone can reach something, you just have to keep saying ""I have legs, I will move"". And that bullshit about it being the darkest before the light is not true, its just that nobody wants to look for a flashlight.  They would rather sit there and wait for it to get better rather than do anything.  look for that damned flashlight man.', 'but why is it bullshit?  thats what i want to know.', 'then destory it.  Make a new mind.  That girl, just ask her out to a movie, a dinner or fuck it bowling!  You will get nothing by standing still and hoping.  Fucking move!  Go for a run, go to a place you have happy memories in, get a job, just dont stop.  never stop moving.', 'Trust me, people are not dull, people who appear dull at first may not really be all that dull once you start talking to them ', 'Why not?', 'Stop sitting in your damn room.  Go to a pub, talk a walk in the park, hell go see a Depressed mood local band for all the fucks I give, but do something where there are other people around.  talk to them, nothing creepy Hyperactive behavior ""I know where you live"", or some shit Hyperactive behavior that, but ask ""Are these guys any good?"" if at a cheap or free band thing, or if at a dog park, say ""what a cute little puppy/dog.""  point is, sitting in your room makes everything worse.  trust me, at home thats all I can do till I get back to Uni.  ', 'Lair.  you want help, why else post this here of all places!  the place where people try to make others not do things that will effect the world?  And you know what, yea i get it, women are horrible things sometimes.  I loved my GF of three years to death.  What do you think happened to me when I found out she was pergo with another mans child?  Think I fucking said, ""OH well thats sad"".  I went to a dark place.  But then one day, I was on youtube, when i say a video.  a simple video really, just about how one car that slows or stops, can affect all traffic in the area.  I realized, Im that car.  So what, shes dumb, she isnt taking you, ask her about a friend she has that might be single.  either she will find you a friend, or she will tell you what she really thinks of you.  Youre giving up in the second round of a fight!  Youve already went through the first round, why not see how far you can go?  and if you are puking, Ginger ale did the trick for me at least.  At least think about this.  Please.  ']",Ideation
user-390,"['this is a sad story for sure and I am telling you now from someone who came from some messed up stuff as a kid..I dont feel Hyperactive behavior sharing on here and it had to do with my mother as well...she Ventricular Dysfunction, Left when I was 15 and I thought things would get better and the woman my dad started dating was worse (Again you dont know my story just know it was fucked) I had to leave because I could not handle living there under that roof I had barely any money and thought it was going to be terrible...It wont be you are so young and I want you to know now that you are on your own learn to love yourself and start a life that you want you are now in control do you know how good that will feel...also become what your mother is not and as hard as it is forget what she has done to you she is a piece of shit she wants you to fail on your own she thinks she has set you up for it DONT FAIL its going to be hard but keep on going..also your little Disturbance in mood sister saying ""we will be so good when you are gone"" wrong you will be so good they will have no one to attack anymore and just you wait your mother will turn on your sister its all she is used to bullying someone...As for this bf of yours lose him you cant Anxiety about someone who doesnt care enough to treat you how you deserve..sometimes you need to be alone to find yourself :) Please please try as hard as you can to see the good in this you are out no more of your mothers attacks']",Indicator
user-391,"['Dony worry. Seriosuly. Misdemeanors get expunged all the time, and thats assuming the charges arent dropped. Hang in there. You need friends? You got one. PM me.', 'What do you do to pass the time? If its boredom thats fucking with you Ive been there. Seriously sunk in it. Im a bit better now, PM me if you wanna talk, perhaps only for the novelty of it. ', 'School is shit, and then its over. It will be over, but death never will. Please PM me, we can have Skype if youd like.', 'Everyones got shit. Ive helped shovel my fair share, as others have shoveled mine. Thats humanity. We stick together to make it work, and Im happy youve posted here to prove it. PS: You wanna talk, PM me. I have a backhoe of a shit shoveller.']",Supportive
user-392,"['Ive lost a lot of motivation over the last few months, I really just need a break. If I could get over the idea of upcoming bills and put my head down Im sure I could get somewhere. Sadly its never as simple as that.', 'Thats what Im holding onto Im not sure I could handle anything happening to them.']",Indicator
user-393,"['Have you talked to anyone about? Like brought it to your command or medical? Maybe you have seen someone bring these thoughts to medical as a corpsman? I was at Camp Lejeune for a little while too a long time ago..', 'I think the worst part is I just feel Hyperactive behavior quiting. I want to quit. I know I have children but sometimes I feel Hyperactive behavior they and my soon to be ex-wife will be better off without me. That the only thing I can do is kill myself so that they will get my death gratuity, life insurance, and VA benefits... Im almost at the point where I dont care what happens to my career I just want this Ache to end. Im afraid to admit that if I did have a gun in my house I might have already done it already. Wow, I have never told that to anyone before. But I guess that is the truth about how I feel right now. Thank you for the comments, I honestly didnt expect even this many replies.']",Ideation
user-394,"['You cant really pretend to be that which you are not, not for long, not convincingly.  If Mr. Cool is IN you, it IS you, its that the other part is too.  Need to get them congruent.', 'Odd, that, so am I - alcoholic and sedative/hypnotic addict.  Dont know what you know about those, but we dont get over that.  If hes started again, he needs to deal with it immediately.  If it continues it will be a very short trip to conditions worse than the last time he was able to quit.  Ive had friends who were sober for years, in a couple of cases decades, who started up again and bottomed out in weeks to a few months.  Some of them couldnt get back.EDIT:  One of the hallmarks is at the worst possible time.', 'Got kicked out of HS at the start of my senior year (mother finally ran away from dad, I quit going to classes).  GEDd in Air Force.  After get sober and starting to work in the treatment field tried to go to school at the same time, got about 3 years worth, Nixon closed down the program I was working at so had to find another job, got into school there, got the total hours for BS but couldnt get the last 30hrs from the same school, as couldnt take day classes due to job.  End result is about 136 hrs undergrad, 21 post grad - no paper, dont count.  That paper would be about another $10k/year in salary, and a bit easier to convince employers to hire.  But, didnt happen, at least, not yet.', 'Youre 19 (I was once too, briefly), it often goes with the territory. You write Hyperactive behavior one who may not have made many friends yet, in a new place.  If I were redoing my major mistakes I think one of the more significant is I would have tried harder to find and make some better friends.  I lone-wolfed it too much.  There are those who say just do your own thing - sometimes it takes friends to help find out what that is.', 'Not a prob.  Make sure you dont get talked out of the hospital idea, and, while there, you might mention the drinking.  Very few situation that cant make worse. ', 'I came into the fellowship in Lincoln in 1971.  About 3-5 weeks after that Labor Day, and no one knows for sure exactly when (nobody involved ever thought I would make it, including me, so no one tracked, kept notes - we tried to put a time on it later) I came into some unemployment money and took the bus up to Omaha to look for a job, which I did for a couple hours.  Turns out I had to try one more time, see if this lost control concept really applied to me.  It did, my last two-day drunk.  Went back to Lincoln and Hope and slunk back in, hoping no one would notice.  They pretended not to.  That was the final nail.  Was time to really, fully listen up or die.The groups I came into had no problem with alternative concepts of higher power, actually encouraged searching for that one could live with.  Everything from G)ood O)rderly D)irection out to yoga and more (this was the 70s, when the 60s really happened).  As long as it was working - didnt matter, didnt care.Most will return to something on the order of their birth religions, and I have absolutely no problem with that at all, for that individual, but that is NOT a requirement, and alternative thinking in those areas becoming more common at the individual level. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking**.**That little dot at the end of that line is a period.EDIT: Forgot the original question!  This is my 39th year.', 'We didnt even bother with it.  Waited for 7.  So far thats going fairly well.  I do IT support for a very vertical market software house.  Tried to get on as programmer, but they liked my hardware background better, so its mostly server/desktop and telephone support.  Good company, 16 years (Novell then), longest Ive ever been at the same job.  ', 'The sister could be a starting place, but, if you can maintain some cool at all, you should probably get at least the parent most likely to listen involved soon also.  By maintain cool I Irritable Mood you do not have to say in any direct fashion you think youre suicidal, maybe just beginning a conversation about almost anything and then bend it as gradually as appropriate into youre worried about a few things and maybe they should help you find a resource (counselor, shrink) to aid in getting things sorted.  ', 'What are you doing to cultivate friends?What are you doing to find and get involved with local support groups?(Your hospital should have referred you to some.  If they didnt, call and remind them.)What are you doing to take control of your own life?', 'Its survivable, if you allow it to be.  Life can go on, and well, if you dump the drugs.  Question is, are you going to do that?  Its hard, in the extreme - many dont, and dont make it.Do you have a plan and/or resources to help get and stay clean?FWIW: This is my 39th year (alcoholic/sedative-hypnotic {sleeping pills}) addict.', 'There is also the matter you recognize of how such act would affect your family.  That seems to matter to you.  Thats good.Much of dealing with depressions Hyperactive behavior yours is buying time, as time allows opportunity for finding better answers, and those better answers do exit.  Generally they are not found in drugs though, or in staying alone.  Not staying alone is something you can do something about.  Your school probably has a counseling service, check into it.', 'You sure were not related?  Thats sort of what my daughter did, after Oberlin went to Europe for about three months.  Later on, got her masters.  Wont get the Ph.D., doesnt want to teach.  She had a ball in Europe.', 'Odd, that.  I was almost 19 before a girl found me worth the time.Anyhow, 18 way too soon to be making a Ventricular Dysfunction, Left turn at Thursday,  Friday or next week or next month something interesting could happen.  That, and a real fear of dying is part of what helped me keep looking during the worst year of my life, when I almost did die, more than a few times, 1969-1970.Sometimes I get lucky, found some people who could help me quit doing most of the damage to myself, helped teach me how to get out of my own road.Those kinds of people still out there, just have to look for them. ', 'Any common friends you can check with?', 'All well and good, but should also lead rather directly to getting some kind of face-to-face going locally.  I want them in front of someone, quickly.', 'What I was hoping for - I m not an every things coming up roses kind of guy, I know things can go bad, but I also know they can get better.  I presume your name is a throw-away, mine isnt.  Also -Carmac@aol.com (I know, but Im old, and its a first love kinda thing).', 'Unless the HIPA regs have changed your parents would only know that you were being seen, not about what.  Id suggest continuing the therapy.  Soon, Hyperactive behavior Monday.  These kinds of things are not likely to solve over the web, you need face-to-face.', 'My oldest daughter, neuropharmacy. at Oberlin.  Works for Amgen now.  I was better at physics, but kinda threw it away.  Now I wash Windows.', 'Got sorta Anger for a bit the first time I was told this, but, theres a logic to it: Loneliness is mostly a self-imposed condition.  The upside is, that can be changed. ', 'Both warranted.  Ever considered checking out Al-Anon and/or ACOA?  The Al-Anon idea applies to your mother also.', 'You have a long history with this kind of thing, with efforts made to make better.  Obviously it will not be easy, or youd already be fixed.  Its hard, not arguing that, and I dont know what your answer will be or where or how you will find it, but I think you should keep looking - I did: http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/da2yk/unintended_consequences_jerrys_mda/', 'Cant address all of this, not going to try.  A couple though worthy of comment.I - Youre 18, there are just some things that are part of that territory, for almost every one:  a)  Excessive Sweating - done there, been that.  Got about 4-5 more years of that to contend with - normal.  b)  Acne scars - I didnt learn to leave them along either - check.  c)  Balding - you should see my son.  I have it too, but better excuse now (64 y.o.) II - Nut Chest Pain?  Thats a doctor issue - see one, if he doesnt find out why, see another.  (For a drug addict/alcoholic, doctor shopping not usually a good idea, for nearly all other issues, is.  I was able to avoid 3 months incapacitation by shopping for a doctor who could offer a newer, better technique for repairing my abdominal aortic Aneurysm - 3 days on back, back to work in 5 days.)III Social Skills, lack of:  Consider a formal dance class (Arther Murray, similar).  Many offer one-2-one for shy people, if you get lucky the right class can be a door opener.You have lots of party-time ahead of you, once you get yourself ready for it.Your self worth is not set in stone at 13-16, actually, its never set in stone.  My wife was never a saint, neither was I.  She just did better with not being one.http://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/b9jfa/this_is_where_we_can_put_personal_things_and_i/', 'Suicidal thoughts are not normal, even under stress.  Some Mental Depression episodes can be short term and situational, but this doesnt read Hyperactive behavior that.  Its probably a good idea to find a counseling service and get a qualified professional evaluation, see what they think.', 'For Phobia, Social drinkers alcohol can enhance the given situation, if it does much more than that for you, kind of a red flag.  Might be best to wait on getting into drinking until your other concerns are sorted.Alcohol in fire for effect mode almost always works - in the beginning.  Thats the problem.', 'If people turn to you for such, you might consider, later, when feeling better, to develop that.  That is a characteristic that few have, and being that kind of person (one turned to) could do some good in this world should you choose to.', 'She got into micro-brewing/distilling as a result of that trip.  Her current hobby is making/selling a local brand of gin - seems to be going well at the moment, they have area restaurants buying.Kind of odd, almost paradoxical, in view of my history, but sometimes the universe likes its little jokes.', 'Find some way to get some more friends - thats probably the root of this anyway.  I know that writes easier than it works, and I know it much better than you might think, but its doable.  Others do it, you can learn.  Im not that good at it myself, but I eventually got lucky - you can too.  One or two fairly good ones, maybe one of the opposite/complimentary orientation, and much of your Mental Depression might start to fade.You start by trying to be one.', 'I didnt read as suicidal - ""Im going to kill myself"".  I read as existential - ""What am I doing here?""', 'As an additional thought, try dropping the I believe thing, and its inverse for a while.> ""I dont believe that shit works"" and a part of me believes it. First off, because that shit does work for many; and second, perhaps as important, where are you now due to this position?  If your Mental Depression, if thats what it turns out to be, should be of a biochem nature, meds can and often do help (the right meds, not any drug you can find on the street).  If your issues are a function of your thinking, well, thats where your current beliefs have brought you.There is hope in that, if my issues are a function of my thinking, that is something I can change - IOW, you can get better.', 'That may be different, dont know what he did.  I had to get away from my first wife and the kids because even as screwed up as I was I knew I was (at that time) the most dangerous conceivable threat to them, both physically and psychologically.  By the time I got my shit together too much time had past for me to try to re-insert myself.  My own dad maybe somewhat similar to yours, screwed over me big time, in many ways - but - also did some good things, and once in a very real way directly saved my life, and, in his own, somewhat screwed up way, loved me.  As much as he despised formal education, he also is the one who actually got me to read.  He hated books, for the most part, but he made sure I could read, and I did.  ', 'Your school remark suggests your in the 20-ish age range, plus/minus a couple.  Your girlfriend broke up with you.  Welcome to the 20s.I was 18, she was my first real girlfriend, and love.  I was a medic in the Air Force, she was in nursing school. She was waaay out of my league.  After about a year I was afraid my craziness would get in her road, so I broke up with her.  Tossed the ring into the Anacostia River walking back to the bus stop to go back to base, running into trees I couldnt see for crying.Oh, you still here?   About two years later we got married.  Three kids.Think about it. ', 'Already answered to the best of my ability in this setting, yours not working right.  The absolute shortest answer: the purpose of life is to live.These might give clues, but the better step would be to find a therapist experienced with this.  The planet needs working minds.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Existential_crisishttp://www.wikihow.com/Deal-with-an-Existential-Crisis', 'I was the Inpatient Program Coordinator for a Chemical Dependency Treatment Program for 15 years.  Suicide is rampant in that population.  Many developing an Drug craving come out of a family with similar history, often in a very long chain.  I cant tell you because I no longer remember the count, but the percentage of my patients dealing with the aftermath of a relatives Suicide decades later was high, somewhere north of 20%.The operative phrase here is decades later.  Your life is NOT that insignificant to some.', 'I cant answer that for you.  Dont know that anyone else can.  It may be that some kind of more formal, more professional guidance could assist, help find out why your survive button stuck.  Live long is built into the system, into the fabric of the DNA, youre overriding somehow.  That likely will take some directed investigation to figure out.  ', 'If I had not been able to change some of my thinking I would have died forty years ago, within the first week or so after Labor Day 1970, and yes I can be that specific about it.For me most of the changing was a function of learning things I didnt know, or, and as or more importantly, knew **wrong**.  Things I believed as firmly as believing the sun will come up.Around the right people, and with the right resources, its doable. (The right varies, depending on issues.  Mine is alcoholism/drug addiction.)', 'Seriously, again, ditch the booze, at least during this period.  That aspect I know something about, more than you and more most others here. (Sober 39 years, in the Chemical Dependency Treatment field for 20, ran Inpatient program for 15).  You can be Phobia, Social on tonic water w/Roses lime juice or other soft drink to your taste.  Believe it or not, most others really dont care that much what youre holding in your hand.Let your friends in on whats going on.  If theyre friends, they probably know the basics anyway, they may not know how you feel about it and how youre being affected by it.  IOW; some heart-to-hearts with at least some of them.Review your own history, and not the down-shot part.  Your history demonstrates youre capable enough, youve just let the rather serious dings recently get to you.  Your friends can help you get your mo-jo back, if you let them.', 'You sound it need of a meeting.  You dont say what your drug(s) was/were, but theres a 12-Step Group for it - find one.  There you can find people with similar backgrounds and experiences who have (and are now) dealing with similar issues, and finding ways.Good luck, but better luck happens when you work for it.', 'You going to be O.K. for a while?  I kinda need to get some Hypersomnia in, need to be at work in the morning to make sure some phone changes I made took.  Ill be able to check back from time-to-time, I normally check Reddit couple/three times an hour or so during the day.', 'Without specifics not much to work with, but, as long as youre alive you havent lost everything.  Cant say I was in your boat, as I dont know what your boat is, but I did get to a point where breathing was all I had Ventricular Dysfunction, Left.  Any of the few friends I had were either disgusted with me, hated me, or both; had lost three careers, could not get a job any more; lost a wife and three children, and lost about 40 pounds in six months. This time of year, esp. this year, I find myself reflecting on that era - often.  Between about August to the end of August the next year I tee-totally crashed and burned - burned out, and almost died.  Had zero - zip - nada - nothing at all, except a small dash of luck.  I finally got Social fear enough to ask for help, and got some.  NEXT September I will have been sober for 40 years.  I know others, some with other issues, whove done similar after being in similar places.Sometimes anything is found again, if we can reach out for it. ', 'Dont know that there are any absolute answers, but getting him out of that house, permanently, might be a start.  Too much negative reinforcement there, and associated long established behaviors.  How to do that, though, thats the rub.  Hes got to start not wanting to be that way.  ', 'Kinda my point.  After I year sober I decided to see if I could do some payback, got into the treatment field (alcoholism/chemical dependency).  Did some good, was a better educator than therapist (that people identification/rapport thing), but both educators/therapists needed.  ', 'Not on topic, but putting out the words you are on a phone - well - Im still trying to get my head around that.  I thought my granddaughter was good, youre unreal.  Thats a complement.  I can barely get one sentence out at a time on that thing.;-<)}', 'Kinda depends on which end of your life the hell part occurs, doesnt it?  Many, probably more than you think, have periods, sometimes extended periods, of the shits, complete and total personal misery, but then, by different routes, come out of it - Hyperactive behavior me.  65 now, should have died at 26.  (Well, a few other times too, but the period of about 23 to 26 was mostly me doing it.)', 'Drop in in here - might find something: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=12+step+programs+list+marijuana&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&gs_rfai=', 'This seem to be more philosophy (lack of) than SW, have you checked over there? ', 'Its been catching on for a few years now.  I guess my bringing it up was sometimes the future goes off in directions un-anticipated.  She tracked me down about 10 years ago, mainly to cuss me out, and more, but wanted my explanation first.  I gave it to her, in detail.  She (and the other two) kinda got it, and understood, and forgave.  She calls me dad again.  So do the other two.   ', 'Not arguing that, and not arguing at all, just including.  My goal is to work them towards a body in their area.', 'Could you give an idea as to how you are being Chest Pain, turned on?  Might be a clue on how someone might assist in your thinking.  I found a lot of my issues were in fact MY issues, I was thinking squirrelly.  I didnt know that, cause I was doing the thinking, but others were able show me, in my head, some of my thought errors, and provide some perspective and ideas how to correct.And I missed my point - much better for my problems to be my errors, me I can learn how to fix. ', 'Will save that discussion for another day, no more a willpower issue than for one Dermatitis, Allergic Contact to penicillin or similar taking steps to avoid it.  Can be an issue of wont power though.  Im a genetic drunk, and have the pre-drinking evidence to support that.  My body and brain dont behave the same way normals do, and never has.  Just took me almost 20 years to learn that.  Doesnt apply to all, you can make the grade without it, but having it makes it soooo much easier, quicker, deadlier. ', 'Check PM', 'Good luck.', 'Say thank you, and gift them out to others (maybe by swapping and gifting to those two, gift 1 to gifter 2, gift 2 to gifter 1).', 'Good luck, find some friends - these kinds of things hard to deal with with help, damn near impossible without.', 'Ive had lucky spells and events.  Almost every job Ive ever had, only one exception, I got paid for doing something I liked to do.  This is about my 6th career, probably last.  Not bad for a guy with no eddykashun.', 'It wouldnt Chest Pain for him to check out Al-Anon, esp. since he still professes care for the jerk.  Conceivably could, over time, help both.', 'Something missing - why does she have to go?  What did she do?', 'Not much, may help some, but first - Recommend very strongly stay away from booze for a while, maybe a long while.  Dont know your family history, but I suspect it wouldnt take long to find another drunk or three in the woodpile.  Youre a setup for a path similar to your mothers.On to the issue, the thing that will actually help the most is time, we have to find bridges until that occurs.  Staying, or trying to stay artificially preoccupied with make work types of diversions wont cut it.Do you have any remaining friends, and I Irritable Mood friends, not just people you know? ', 'A concept that morphed and developed over time, still is to some extent, but - the group(s) themselves.  There is a Common Shared Wisdom there, at least for me.My family collected religions, various Christian denominations, in periodic attempts to deal with complications of their own unrecognized alcoholism (they just sometimes drank a little too much, Hyperactive behavior, daily - always building over weeks to months to a crisis of some kind).  A blowout point would be reached, and into a church somewhere, the last being Catholic.  A side effect of this was I really didnt have a proper diaper religion.  When my head got clear enough to start thinking AA might have some answers for me, where most start actually trying to understand this work the steps thing, and coming to terms with the obvious - my own thinking wasnt working - I started researching religions, in some detail, I didnt want to fuck up again and pick the wrong one.My research did not lead to a religion I could believe in, and actually took apart many of the few beliefs in those areas I already held.Concurrent to that research on religions I was also investigating AA itself - a bunch of primarily nobodies, rejects and failures, ex-cons, ex- and current preachers, priests, doctors, nurses, maids, millionaires, who had learned to stop Depressed mood themselves and others.  A shared experience and knowledge-base of tricks of the trade, and so much more.[Add to that they saved, very literally, my life when no one else would even try any more](http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/da2yk/unintended_consequences_jerrys_mda/), it just kind of made sense to me.  Still does.  ', 'Whats your MTA (normally, name of nearest large city)?', 'Something to consider - before trying to eat a pill sandwich with wine chaser, wait for another reported Suicide, and visit the funeral, see how much better off the attendees are.  See if they think they are relieved.I have reason to suspect few will be.', 'Work on the support group thing - its likely to be worth the effort. Not the same problem, but I was working on killing myself in a slightly indirect fashion at an age I guess to be no more than 5-6 years older than you are now.  A support group helped, a lot.  That was 39 years ago.', 'Hey, you got a death wish, you got one - just didnt read that way to me.  Still reads more Hyperactive behavior you cant figure out why live?, to me a different animal.  I do suspect investigation in that area might be more productive.Cant give you an answer, all find their own if they havent bought the ones fed them.  Dont know for sure what my reasons for living are, except general nosiness and not wanting to die.  Have likely come closer to dieing than most here, but want no part of it, hence still here.Should have died at 10, 17, 19, 24, 25/6 (second closest, most aware) 34, 62 and last year.  Decided not to. ', 'How many thumbs you got?  6?', 'You are calling the wrong places - have you looked at the resources to the right of this: http://www.reddit.com/r/SWResources/FWIW - Not deliberately suicidal, but I almost killed myself too at maybe a year older than you, alcoholic/addict - just turned 65.', 'I meant people who might be able to find out her condition.  I read your post as implying you didnt know where she was and what she was doing.', 'May help to try to consciously go the substitute route - instead of concentrating on Christmas, which apparently has some (perhaps unrecognized) bad associations for you, think in terms of Festivus or Saturnalia or FSM or such.  Two of my kids atheist, Im agnostic (dont have the blind faith needed to support atheism), so we came to terms some years back that theyd get their goodies on their birthdays instead.  Still send them secular cards, as off the wall as possible, but thats about it.   ', 'Most larger cities have a Crises Center of some kind available, usually in the phone book and these days online.  Might be called Suicide Prevention or similar (somewhat of a misnomer, as they can refer non-suicidal but distressed also) that can point to free and/or inexpensive resources.  Usually can be found in the Emergency Services area.If there is a University in town can pretty much guarantee theyve got something going on.  They can also direct to various self help groups, if any in your area.  Many of these are actually quite good, as the people there know the local doctors and such, and point towards those with better reps.', 'Be careful, and Im available.', 'Can kind of identify with bad parents, blamed them for a lot of my stuff, some correctly, some not so much, but I did have to divorce them to survive.  They knew what buttons to push, they put them there.You are having a Depressed mood run with friends & lovers - dont have much to offer there, but maybe if you could identify some common threads you might be able to make better associations in the future.  Youre bright enough to do so, and they (potential other friends, lovers) are out there.Im an oddball, always have been.  Some of that deliberate, much not intentional, but I have major trouble catching friends and such.  I found one in particular, but, truth be told, she found, in me, that which I could not see.You might find this depressing, but, even though I wrote it, I dont think most of it is.  As difficult as I am for people to Hyperactive behavior - I had 32 years with Bev, a weird person Hyperactive behavior me was able to be with her - [Bev](http://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/b9jfa/this_is_where_we_can_put_personal_things_and_i/)If I could, so can you.', 'Atheism is no block.  I came into AA as a non-too-attentive converted Catholic, and in the course of getting my higher power concepts functional enough to stay sober, learned my agnosticism - or, more simply,  AA taught me to be an agnostic.  Good luck.  ']",Ideation
user-395,"['You sir have joined reddit making us Hyperactive behavior you more than others by far.  I may not be the best at this but... Perhaps a bribe to convince you otherwise would work?  I have a couple old steam games i dont play think that would help?  In my time of greatest sorrow video games have always been there to cheer me up.', 'Good man, or woman?  You have at least a couple hundred hours or more of enjoyment to be found in this.   Let me know if you wanna clan up and play along,  Ive got about 5 of my friends so far who are going to join :)', 'Dont give up yet man,  Diablo 3 was just announced to be out in may.  How could you forgive yourself?', 'ah,  I truly am an idiot as I didnt really read your username.  Im sorry.  If you change your mind and create a steam account let me know.  Also to Attention Deficit Disorder I think some of us here really do understand how you feel.  I went through some bad times resulting in me not caring or  talking to anyone.  I just wanted my life to end but I was too Social fear to do it myself even.  I decided I wouldnt try to take the easy way out then whatever force out there pushing this negativity on me would win.  Many years and sad horrible days later here I am.  Yes I still get sad sometimes but life has improved significantly and ive learned to see the light in things.  Im not saying your situation is at all Hyperactive behavior mine but It took me so many realize I brought it upon myself,  I was always constantly looking at the negative aspects of things.  You would be amazed what being positive can do for you.  ', 'What games did you Hyperactive behavior to play or still currently play?  ', 'You dont really want to do it,  Its clear you are looking for someone to talk to or you would not be posting this here.  You were at one point happy in your life this I know to be true because you said you were married, unhappy people dont tend to get married (for the most part).  With that being said you have experienced happiness in your life.  What makes you entirely sure that happiness wont be found again?  No one can tell the future my friend.   Your just looking for the easy way out if you are infact going to do it.  I have a proposal for you.  Wait,  despite how hopeless it feels how horrible shit has been wait.  For what you might ask?  Many people think the world is going to end by the end of this year.  I propose you wait until that time to decide afterall you must have been Depressed mood for years to even consider this,  whats 9 more months then?  Here are the possible outcomes.  1. In 9 months time you find something life changing and regain your former happiness.  2.  You get a front seat to the most amazing apocalyptic show the world has to offer.   3.  Nothing has improved in your life and the world keeps turning just as it always had but you at least got to see the look on those suckers faces who threw it all away thinking the world was coming to an end.  I never claimed I was good at this nor that I would actually help you but instead I challenge you.  Will you deny yourself this one last challenge?  This one last good fight.', 'See heres another reason to live,  just think about how sexy jen might be and she called you huni,  she totally wants you.  ', 'You ask for help and possible solutions.  In order to help you solve your problem we must first know the problem.  Yes youve listed that you have been thinking of Suicide and cutting yourself but where did this all stem from?  What are some of the problems or hardships youre facing?  You may not believe it but there are billions of people on this planet and on the internet.  Some of use have gone through what you have if not worse and understand.  If you could present us the problems we could suggest the solutions.', 'You have just fucked my minds pussy with that one.  Well done.', 'And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrainDont carry the world upon your shouldersFor well you know that its a fool who plays it coolBy making his world a little colder', 'damn i must have been a few hours too late.']",Supportive
user-396,"['Im feeling pretty emotionally low just now too, so all I can say is -- a lot of life insurance policies wont pay after a Suicide. So just consider that as a practical matter.On a brighter note.. student loan forgiveness is a real idea that might actually happen someday.. you might think about getting involved in organizations that are pushing for it, if you have the energy and time. Other than that all I can do is sympathize. Student debt is awful; Ive been through it too. Money problems are very hard, much harder than people who have never had such problems realize.You are not worthless. Youre trying to get a job. What more can you do? It sounds Hyperactive behavior you are trying really hard and thats farther than many people get. ', 'What makes you think your parents dont Hyperactive behavior you? I know how it is when you start feeling down, and you start to question every positive feeling. Youre not wasting my time, by the way. As for friends in college, I made remarkably few when I was there. It made me feel Hyperactive behavior something was wrong with me. Over time I came to realize that I am the sort of person who does not need a lot of friends. I am quite happy by myself. But when I was in college and surrounded by a lot of people (who werent my friends), it seemed Hyperactive behavior I was doing it wrong. In actuality I was in the wrong place for me. All those people, making friends and doing whatever, that was fine for them. But it wasnt for me. I dont know if youre similar to me, but I shared in case it makes you feel better. College is a weird, short time, and it will come and go Hyperactive behavior the wind. ', 'Where are you studying? In the United States, a lot of people have jobs that arent related to their degrees. But just having a degree makes it easier to get a job of some kind. Not knowing all the circumstances of your situation, I would say that you should try to stick it out. You are not writing the whole book, just this one chapter. What comes after is unknown and full of possibility. In terms of classmates and friends, it seems to me that you need to branch out. You may have been so fixated on your boyfriend that you unconsciously excluded everyone else from your life. Open up a little, and see what happens. Just a smile can really work wonders. Or you could talk to your adviser and see about changing your major. You said you have a scholarship, and those usually have limitations, but maybe you could switch from aerodynamics to, say, math? or chemistry? What do you Hyperactive behavior better? Could you angle your classes in such a way that they are more palatable? I need to go to bed.. I work tomorrow, and I am tired.. but please do PM me if youd Hyperactive behavior to talk further. I hope I helped you, at least a little.', 'About the Suicide hotline--any chance your call was dropped or something? If it wasnt and they hung up on you--thats shitty. Ive only ever called one of those once, and the woman was extremely rude to me. I dont think Id ever call another one of those again. Hopefully my experience is not the norm.About your situation -- It sounds Hyperactive behavior you have some good things to look forward to, Hyperactive behavior the job and the stuff youve wanted to learn. You want to get better and you see a way to do it. On the other hand there is the rifle. My advice to you would be to embrace that good stuff. Get rid of the rifle. Pawn it. Get rid of all guns so they are not a temptation. You have some things going for you--the guy who pushes you in good ways, the job, yoga, cute running partner. Take these as gifts from the universe and build on them. ', 'Did you hate aerodynamics before he broke up with you?', 'Youre a doctor? Wow. That takes dedication. The things you want to do are admirable and would help a lot of people. Is that enough to keep you going? Volunteering is something you could get started with right away, I would think. Then you can work toward the other goals.I used to bake bread every week. Youre right, its peaceful, and theres something really nice about squishing dough in your hands and having it bake into something edible. I gotta go to bed. Ill be thinking about you, though. PM me if youd Hyperactive behavior to talk further. ', 'I can only offer a few ideas-- do you have a phone, and does it have video capability? Could you manage to take a video of your sister lying in the street, or doing something else obviously self-destructive? That might help when the authorities come around. Secondly, do you have a friend you can stay with for a while? There may be places you can go if you dont have a friend--womens shelters, for instance. Are you in Drug abuse school? Do you have a counselor or a good teacher who can offer you advice? How about your dad? (You mentioned ""parents"", plural.)I know its hard to think of options and solutions when emotions are running so Drug abuse. Try to Sedated state your mind and think over your options. ', 'Suspended doesnt Irritable Mood kicked out! If youre feeling Hyperactive behavior you cant handle school in general, how about taking some (voluntary) time off? Work, save up some money? ', 'Maybe it was a stupid way of me talking about this stuff, ""the universe"" doing things, I Irritable Mood. Because I dont actually believe in a sentient universe or god or anything Hyperactive behavior that. Anyway, I think most people dont understand just how hard it is to make it in life if you dont fit into this very small box of what is ""normal"". If you dont have a family, and education, and a healthy mind and body, and a job that pays enough,...all these things.. its just really hard. There are people who overcome, but there are a lot who just cant. The only reason Im still around is basically my dad, who has been a solid rock all my life. If he wasnt around.. hell, Im not sure what Id do. What is the thing you wanted to learn, that you posted about above? ', 'Pretty soon youll be an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult and youll have a lot more control over your life. Things will improve. ', 'Im sure that anything I say will be mediocre at best, but..it will get better. It hurts Hyperactive behavior hell now, but in time it will Chest Pain less. He Chest Pain your heart, and thats grievous, but it will get better. Give yourself some time. Be gentle with yourself. You say you have 2 more years to go. If you find you really cant keep going to school, ask about a postponement of school or something. Take some time off and go back when youre ready. Or take a vacation. Go home for a while. You say you cant even kill yourself--this is very natural; it is a hard thing to do. We are genetically programmed to want to survive. And Ache is unpleasant. Overall, just be gentle with yourself and give yourself some time. ', 'As you get older you will have more options, and things will get better. Youll get out of your parents home. You wont have to be around the bullies at school. Just try to hang on for a little while longer. Youre already 17 so you dont have long to go. Keep your sights on the day when you can leave the crap behind. It will come. Make your plans and work toward them. I hope this doesnt sound preachy. Middle and Drug abuse school are lousy times for a lot of people, including myself. Believe me when I say that there is life after these times.. a lot of life. ', 'Im completely new to this subreddit, but as only one other person has commented, Ill post something. My friend, maybe youre thinking too far ahead. Just think about what you can do today, and perhaps tomorrow, to improve your situation. You already made one step (by going to work out). How are you feeling now? ']",Supportive
user-397,"['Not really, no one really knows.. ', '/r/raisedbynarcissists please come over here for support. ', 'Thank you for this. ', 'Thank you so much, I may message you later..', 'Ha. This is my god damn *life*. No hobbies. No friends. No skills. Abusive home. I want out so badly. ', 'do you even feel empathy..? ', 'Please dont give up, and yes I miss my pets. My very old cat sadly died of cancer recently and I kinda didnt know what to do with myself after.. ']",Ideation
user-398,"['I am going to be straight with you, I have never considered Suicide once and I have no real interpretation of how people feel when they are suicidal. However what I see is that people who are suicidal are looking to far in the future. You want to kill yourself because you cannot see yourself living another day in your condition. My advice to you is find a different perspective instead of seeing yourself in the future think of yourself simply being. Think about your connection to the universe and nature. And the best way to obtain the perspective is through meditation where you can truly find your inner being and happiness.', 'If youre Exhaustion of what your doing change what your doing. Not enough people absorb the full capability of live. We were born with amazing senses, when I feel Stress I slow myself down and just absorb. I focus on my ears and hear every sound feel everything touching my body, and see all the different forms of light moving through my eyes. It clears my mind, slow down my heart and truly makes me appreciate life.']",Supportive
user-399,"['Some others you might enjoy:[The Church - Under the Milky Way](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_Z48dHFYLc)And my personal favorite considering the situation youre in right now:[Sink Florida, Sink by Against Me](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sq-ZLrsl7rU)Ive been that guy before. Socially awkward, amazing girlfriend, break-up because I thought I wanted something different. . .10 years later, Ive learned a lot of lessons the hard way, but one of the more important ones is that life is full of change and as it turns out I did want something different.  Im actually still good friends with my high-school gf (after many years of NOT being friends), and the woman I married shares many similar traits to that first serious gf, but she also has qualities that I didnt even know Id want or need in a partner.It sounds Hyperactive behavior youve learned a valuable lesson. Be well', 'Honestly, were it not for my children I certainly would have committed Suicide by now. ', 'I failed out of Chiropractic School 4 months before starting my clinical rotations.  Another year and Id have been done.  Everyone I was in school with is now graduated and practicing, and you know what? I actually enjoy my current job far far better than any chiropractor I know.  They make more money than I do, but I love what I do, and its a path I never would have taken had I not failed out of school.If you failed out of school then there was something fundamental that didnt fit with you. Either you arent ready, or it isnt something you need to be doing right now, focus on opening yourself up to something new and go kick some ass!']",Ideation
user-400,"['I cannot say I have been in your shoes; however I have felt immense Ache as you have. I have had the hours, days, months filled with agony and Feeling despair and hopelessness. Ive lost a good near everything I ever once had or loved. Its devastating, sometimes I feel as though Ive lost my entire identity, consumed with self-loathing and hatred. I too, suffer from body dysmorphic disorder; in my turn I suffered from extreme Bulimia (down to 40 kg at 50) and it was, along with the lingering effects, awful.I had to start living for, in what my eyes was, success. Expanding my knowledge on the world around me, enveloping myself in global affairs; anything to take my mind off my Ache. I became encompassed in a world that didnt involve me. Distraction was my obvious get-away. This may be not for you (I never liked it to even be brought up) but I began to seek some form of spiritual journey. I tried to set some good into this world, Bulimia Nervosa my soul for a higher thinking. I took on philosophy and metaphysics, find reasoning behind my suffering. This is just my escape, I hope that youll find some relief from my advice. Im sorry for your experience and give you my sincerest best wishes.']",Behavior
user-401,"['Hey, maybe we can both help each other out.Im close to doing it too. My heads pretty fogged up and I cant think very clearly.You need to get out of there if youre being abused. You dont deserve that. Its about being good to yourself, and if that means doing things your way then so be it. Killing yourself wont be good to yourself, you wont know what it feels Hyperactive behavior afterwards.If you are going to go that far, take it another direction so you wont get into a dead end. Im sorry youre going through this.', 'I was going to do something pretty bad too, but I wont say.A lot of these things are phases, I found that out today when I wrote down my thoughts, did something else for an hour, came back and was shocked. Its Hyperactive behavior that feeling people get as theyre halfway from jumping off something high, when everything seems to make sense and your goals seem so tangible.I saw my dad walking my dog. He just got neutered recently. He is really cute. Its these little things that keep me going.You should take a walk, I will in a bit too.', 'Thank you for responding!Do you believe you have a lot of power over your emotions? Do you agree with these Depressed mood thoughts (emotions/state) or do you think it is a separate entity of sorts?', '> My current state - pretty horrible. Lonliness, worthlessness, pathetic, tired, hopeless. Im in college. The only people I have talked to here are two girls I know and have known for a while. They really dont care. They would say they do, but they dont text me to check up, call, or honestly even try to make plans. We talk infrequently. I have made a lot of acquaintances, hundreds in fact, due to my personality (I am both an introvert and extrovert and am quite good at making friends.) I think the reason I am so good at making friends is because I put everything I have into being there for people because I dont want them to feel the lonliness I have felt all of my life.I can relate to you in multiple ways. Im seventeen, a musician, have a fair share of acquaintances, and you are the way you are for other people.I think this can explain why a lot of people who are Depressed mood/anxious are Ophthalmia, Sympathetic towards others due to their understanding of how one can feel when they are lonely. Can I ask about your intentions with your Phobia, Social status and presence in your college? I think this can help with why you feel these things, since they might be an effect of unmet expectations.> I do feel happy occasionally. These are times when I forget everything, and there are only a few times when I do: watching a humorous television show Hyperactive behavior The Office or the Big Bang Theory (any show really, just listening to a story different than mine is what makes me feel better.) Playing on stage (Ive been a musician for about ten years now, Im 18.) And when I Hypersomnia. I Hypersomnia a lot. It helps me forget. The happiness I feel is happy, its just that the number of times in my day when I am genuinely happy is much smaller than the average person. Clinically Depressed mood people do get happy, just not often.I think youd be surprised as to how similar we are, and that not everyone is as happy as they seem.One friend I had in middle school, well call him Brian, was a great buddy of mine who was fun to hang out with and always willing to stop by. One day Im hanging out at his house and were playing halo together; He suddenly says, ""Hey man, I appreciate it that you came over.""""For sure man, its always fun hanging out here!""""Youre not going to leave are you?""""Uh, not yet its only 4 o clo-""""No - thats not what I mean.""He started to tweak out for a couple of seconds and I was a little scared, but then he said,""Are you going to stay my friend?""""Yeah man! Why wouldnt I?""He didnt say anything, and not long after I went home after his mom swooped in, took me away, and took me home.Later I found out that he was taking very serious Anxiety Mental Depression medicine as he suffers from very extreme Panic Attacks attacks as a result. He was teased a lot in elementary school for it and he stayed home weeks after weeks due to a ""stomach flu.""One of the most jovial, funniest, confident guys I know. Everybody has their tweaks, flaws, personal dilemnas. When I see how people arent so different, I feel better myself.> Im not quite sure what the second paragraph is saying. Are you asking me whether or not I think my diagnoses was false? Or are you saying if I think its a sort of placebo where they told me I am and I am not figuring our why? The way it works is you talk about your life and how you feel, and they tell you medically whther or not they think you have a mood disorder, then sometimes they do some biological tests.Not exactly as strong as you put it, Im asking if it influenced or tipped your ideas as to what might be going on, if you were looking for that. Ive talked with psychiatrists and theyve prescribed Wellbutrin for Anxiety Mental Depression and focus; its proven somewhat effective, thinking back how I behaved and thought before.Im only asking this question through the perspective of somebody who doesnt know what clinical Mental Depression is exactly; Im taking the side of whoever is giving the information to me on this thread, not the skeptical side.Thank you for responding by the way!', 'Thank you for acknowledging and sharing. Heres a hug too :)', 'Youve had a lot of relationships bud, maybe you should spend some more time with yourself. Take a walk outside and see how you can manage inside your own head.Starting over sounds good. Hell, it sounds good for me too.Just go outside and sit in an obscure cafe and stare at a table or drink something. You dont need to think about anything in particular, just dont try to solve any problems in your head.Walk somewhere else and pay attention to whats around you. I do this sometimes and it feels nice to see the leaves and the people and the animals and the buildings. I sometimes forget theyre there when Im thinking about other stuff.Spend some time with yourself before you look to other people for help, if you are able to handle you and your mind in the same room, I think you can be able to manage; mainly because a lot of people have the opposite problem, which is that they have a hard time getting to know and getting along with people. I think Im kind of in between but everybody struggles with something.Hang in there bud, and take a breather by yourself out in the fresh air.']",Behavior
user-402,"['This. So much emphasis is put on treating the chemical symptoms without looking in to the actual psychological causes. ', 'It depends on whether or not I want to stay Depressed mood at the time.If Im really super down and dont particularly feel Hyperactive behavior getting up yet, Ill often put on Tools *Undertow*, Isis *Panopticon*, and Primordials *To the Nameless Dead*, and other music that follws in that same sort of direction. (sorrowful, somewhat slow metal)If I want to actually be useful, I find the most abrasive, energetic music I can, stuff Hyperactive behavior Skeletonwitch, Between the Buried and Me, SikTh, and Dillinger Escape Plan are good for this.', 'This song actually does a surprisingly good job of encapsulating this weird existential mode Ive been in the past couple months, in more ways than I can accurately express.**SikTh** - [Part of the Friction](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-XJuMDneV0)', 'Thats benzos, not SSRIs.Im sure SSRIs do help some people, but everyone Ive known to take them has come out worse for it.', 'Just find something to do outside of anything related to your home life. You feel the way you do because you seem to spend all your time around your family, seeking refuge in antidepressants. Honestly, just find something thatll let you escape from your normal life-job, family, all of it. Take up hiking, learn an instrument, go to local concerts, learn a craft, anything that you can do to enjoy some time with yourself.', 'Yeah, the whole systems basically a vehicle to pump sad people full of Benzodiazepines and SSRIs.', 'Yeah, actually finding something can be hard. Dont give up on that though,because a life lived only for others will inevitably be an Depersonalization one.Golf, rock climbing, smoking weed, drawing, writing, online games, hunting, acting, sports,working out, pokemon, gardening, building things, sewing, cooking, your possibilities are limitless.Avoid alcohol and television though, they will only exacerbate things.', 'Jesus Christ, are you me? Like, I thought I was just crazy, but thats Exactly how I feel on the day-to-day basis. ', 'Wanting to be alone can really go two directions, one helpful, but the other infinitely hurtful.I recommend against trying to intrude on his space, but rather, try to invite him out. If he sees you trying to force your way in to his space (whether or not thats what you intended), he wont respond well. However, if you can draw him out, hell be more apt to getting out of this episode.', 'Just explain to him frankly that his actions arent up to snuff. Dont feel Hyperactive behavior you have to walk on eggshells or anything, but Do try not to put the blame on *him*, but rather, his actions.', 'If they actually used good medications, itd be different, but brain-numbing SSRIs and Benzodiazepines, which are GABA antagonists Hyperactive behavior alcohol, are not the way to go.', 'I cant say for certain, but it sounds Hyperactive behavior your lithium dosage is too high. ', 'MXE isnt illegal. ', 'Youll find, deep down, most people without a specific goal feel this way. Find a goal to work towards, or start making art. ', 'So youre planning on killing yourself, eh?Try this instead: Leave. Get as far away from wherever you live as you can. Go somewhere where noone knows you.Suddenly, you dont exist. As far as anyone in this place knows, youre just another person. No one knows youre a failure, no one knows anything about you. Moreover, no one cares what you do. Do something crazy, do stuff youve never done before, or simply live a normal life with new people.I mean, youre just going to end this current life, why not start a new one and have some fun with it? You could even go so far as to fake your death so all the people you know will think youre dead, leaving you free to craft an entirely new life.', 'Dude, me too. No real reason either, just woke up feeling shitty. The day even turned out alright. ', 'I actually know the exact feeling, and recently overcame it. How? Drugs. Id youre not averse to the idea, MDMA will likely cure that feeling in one go. Its not Hyperactive behavior a magical ""take pill feel better"" Hyperactive behavior the shit  the pharmaceutical companies push, but a good experience on MDMA with good friends can fix most any mental ailment.  (2C-E is what I used, but I wouldnt recommend it to someone inexperienced) ', 'Psilocybin mushrooms are actually almost completely nontoxic, less so than weed even if you only look At physical effects. While yes, there Are *psychological* consequences for eating them too much, your body wont know it. ']",Indicator
user-403,"['Friendships are complicated.  Close friendships between three people are even more complicated.  Maybe its time to expand your circle of friends.  Theres no need to get rid of the two friends youre talking about.  Maybe theyll come around and maybe they wont.  Either way, theres nothing wrong with meeting new people.Try to keep in mind that a lot of the people at your school (if not all of them) are thinking the EXACT same things as you.  ""Nobody likes me.  I wish I had more friends.""  If you were to make a point of chatting with a few new people every day, theyd probably be extremely grateful to you, and might end up being good friends of yours.  What kind of activities are you involved in?It sounds Hyperactive behavior you Irritable Mood a lot to your mom, and you must care about her too if youre considering her feelings (not all teenagers would have the selflessness and empathy to do that).  Maybe youd feel better if you talked to her about some of this.  Is it possible to have dinner together tonight?  Maybe you could plan some kind of event with her, Hyperactive behavior a movie or a manicure.  Also, you could offer to run errands with her some evening or on the weekend.  She might appreciate the company and Ive found it makes great visiting time.Please keep us updated!  Im sending you positive thoughts.', 'That sounds really rough.  Im sorry youre going through such a tough time.  It sounds Hyperactive behavior your wife has been treating you horribly for a while now.I think the best thing you can do is get through the day.  At some point youll need to feel Numbness and at some point youll need to get some release.  Try to Sedated state or Numbness yourself by vegging in front of the TV or having a few beers (dont buy enough to get sick).  Releasing the pent up frustration could be through a work out or venting to a friend.  If you live in a safe neighborhood, long walks are helpful.Is there a friend or family member who could stay with you for a night or two?  Venting to us is great, and Id be happy to PM, but hugs are hard to give online.All of the cliches are true.  It gets better.  Keep your chin up.  What doesnt kill you make you stronger.  If all those sound Hyperactive behavior bullshit (they often do), just remember to breathe.']",Supportive
user-404,"['I have a lot of depressing hip-hop so if you want more let me know. 1. [Love Aint - CunninLynguists ft. Tonedeff](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YebR5J4nqxE)2. [Rain - CunninLynguists](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRinFMih7iw)3. [Die For You - Mr. SOS](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLBtJ7zioIA)4. [Dont Play This Song - Kid Cudi](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9j34WIkdJlM)5. [Born Alone - Prolyphic & Reanimator](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoLBcMX7wHw)6. [Walk Alone - The Roots](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvtkwOztWOY)7. [Monsters In My Head - Slaughterhouse](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rz_wZ39JpmE)8. [Suicide Letters- Tech N9ne](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anatdKG-fQc)9. [I Wish I Was Dead - Kno ft. Tonedeff](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgAPQUzHRzw)10. [Bottom Of The Bottle - Grieves](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BC54_qlxmh4)11. [Alone - Tech N9ne ft. Krizz Kaliko](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CY_Fpgl7ZK0)12. [Hello Walls - Krizz Kaliko ft. Tech N9ne](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYsMHZdOmoA)13. [Lost & Confused - Thai Viet G](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhXwpd4AafE)14. [Blast Myself - Z-RO](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lump72Mhng8)15. [He Wont Answer - Grieves](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcvEassD-T8)16. [Low - Tech N9ne](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFQjmc0CqD0)17. [Searching For Some Beautiful - Sadistik](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnzaPkl6Nvg)18. [Save Yourself - Sadistik](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sebj7sWmkRc)19. [Bad Dreams  - Nine Leaves](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Z2FNiFeQ7s)20. [Apt. A9 - Nine Leaves](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsi30y7O0P4)', 'Accurate as fuck.', 'If you listen to depressing stuff to make you feel better, then check out Sadistik. Even if youre not a hip hop fan, you can probably still enjoy how poetic he is. His stuff has pretty much kept me alive for the past few years.Heres a song from each of his albums:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnzaPkl6Nvghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sebj7sWmkRchttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyaT-GVFHXkhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEhhKsSkdcY', 'Pure hopelessness']",Supportive
user-405,"['People should have all the freedom in the world, and in fact they do. There is nothing to really stop you from doing anything, there are only consequences to discourage people from doing things. If you want to murder someone, you have the ability to kill them. Sure, you will go to prison, but thats only if you get caught and convicted. Suicide is the same, people are all perfectly free to do it, and they definitely should be. Freedom to do whatever you want does not Irritable Mood you can do whatever you want without consequence. Everything has consequence, and some are artificially made (i.e. crime and punishment), but there is no avoiding the consequence of an action.So I believe that people have the right to commit Suicide, but they should not.Now, you mention that >Evolution guarantees that people will not always succeed in life, and those who believe that would live a life full of Ache and resentmentWhile you have a point that it is cruel to force someone to be in Ache, there is also no way of knowing if you will live a life of Ache. Sure, someone can be diagnosed with a painful terminal illness, but in terms of a painful and lonely life, that cant be known. It seems overly optimistic, but the other way around is simply overly pessimistic. Its an extension of the Gamblers fallacy. Just because your life in the past has been painful, does not Irritable Mood that your life in the future will also be painful. Your life does not follow any sort of pattern, it is a free pool of possibilities open to you.People who consider Suicide are people trying to escape Ache in a way which will inevitably Chest Pain other people. Not to diminish the Ache that they feel, because there is nothing more painful than wanting to die. Lets not pretend though, that we can see the future and know that we will always be in Ache. There is always a chance that life will get better, which is the reason why I oppose Suicide, and think of it as ""bad"". In my mind, if I dont try to convince people to keep going, I will be robbing them of the life of happiness that they could have. ', 'I dont usually comment on these things, as most of the time others have already said what I already would have,  but please do us the favor of not going through with it. Nobody really wants to see you in Ache, there are just some out there who Chest Pain Hyperactive behavior you and feel Hyperactive behavior causing you Ache would solve their own problems. It is a dark place to be in, but I really hope you get out of it.', 'I know. And thats another hard part. I dont pretend that there are some times when life just gets worse, but I know plenty of people who have been Depressed mood all of their life, but ended up being able to get out of it and come out happy. My point is that I just think there is a chance for everyone to be happy. And happiness is something nobody should be cheated out of, even by themselves. Again though, I know it doesnt work out. I just think its worth a try.', 'I agree that its up to people themselves to make better choices, and thats completely impossible when someone is Depressed mood. Because thats exactly what Mental Depression is, its seeing nothing but blackness and despair, and not just believing that there is no hope: its knowing it. There is no point for a Depressed mood person to dream of something better, in terms of their train of thought. What I want to do is help people to see that happiness is not just something to dream of, its completely possible to have. Theres no formula that fits everyone. Some choose religion, some choose love, some choose success, some choose something else entirely. The point is that, as I said in reply to another comment, happiness is something everyone deserves to have. So I will not admit that people should give up and kill themselves. Suffering is not certain. Nothing is certain, but everything is possible.Sorry for rambling, just sort of all came out.']",Supportive
user-406,"['Ive tried that. Im Exhaustion of trying and falling at everything. Im looking Att gun and trying to figure why not to do it. ', 'Heh, even reddit cant give me a reason to keep on going.']",Ideation
user-407,"['(hey sd - dont be discouraged by this type of response.  You are helping because you are here - people are going to lash out but you are doing a good/noble/empathetic thing by responding.  Just wanted to throw my two cents in.)', 'Hey guy, so let me just say up front - I absolutely hate your username (for obvious reasons).  Okay, now that I got that out I can move on.  So, youve said there is no possibility of anyone saying anything to deter you - I get that so I wont even attempt to but I will say this;  I may not know exactly what you Irritable Mood because I assume feeling/being disconnected and not being a real person means something different to all of us but trust me when I say I feel my version of that.  Maybe I havent always felt that way, maybe I can hang on to the little hope I have Ventricular Dysfunction, Left and maybe I can turn the corner some day.  Maybe.  But seeing as youve survived 46 years feeling this way and if you now have nothing to lose dont you think your story of how you haved coped this long without ever having felt love might help some people cope themselves?  Wouldnt it feel good to know that your legacy would live on in the minds of the few of us that you could help?  I for one would Hyperactive behavior to hear more about you than what you posted tonight and maybe it wouldnt help you in the least because your definition of connected is probably different than mine but what would it Chest Pain to have a conversation?  At least to tell someone about the recent events you mentioned so we could have a chance to watch out for similar instances that pushed you over the edge and prevent ourselves from going down the same road.  I hope you will at least consider it.And yes, you are correct sir that youre not going to get a snake to clap without the required parts - but two snakes smacking together could get the job done.  I am willing to be your other snake if you feel Hyperactive behavior applauding. ', 'Have you ever considered volunteering so you have something tangible to look at at the end of the day and see that you do more good on this earth than bad?  You may be surprised how many ways you could help other people and how good it would make you feel about yourself to lay your head down each night knowing you were a positive influence in this Abnormal behavior, selfish, unempathetic world.', 'Trust me bud, I know that repetitive loop you can get in to sometimes...  I know that repetitive loop you can get in to sometimes...  I know that repetitive loop you can get in to sometimes...  I know that repetitive loop you can get in to sometimes...  I know that repetitive loop you can get in to sometimes...  too well.', 'Hey, no problem at all Martha and thanx for the kind words - you rock more than a one-legged turkey on a tilt-o-whirl!  Im glad you are sounding/feeling better today and you have my username & know this subreddit is always here so please dont hesitate using both/either (& we enjoy hearing how good you are doing as well as when you are down).  I hope your day is filled with hot fudge waterfalls flowing over marshmallow mountains & hope to hear from you soon.', 'Hey cat - no, your post did not go completely unnoticed.  Youve just got to give us some time to respond since we are not all welded to our computers.  You said you wont be trying this again so I feel a bit stupid for even replying but on the off chance you check this I want you to know that you made complete sense to me I dont feel as if your post is a waste of time so if you are reading this feel free to look at my profile and if you feel that I am someone you would feel comfortable discussing these issues with shoot me a PM and if not please repost this (as this post will more than likely get buried today) so one of the other caring, compassionate and Ophthalmia, Sympathetic subscribers to this subreddit can get a chance to speak with you before you make a regretable & irreversible decision.(& a tip from a stranger: be careful replying to your own post as some of us will always look at the un-commented on posts first and had yours had that little red comment glowing I would have found it much quicker.  Just sayin cat.)', 'Hey inthe, I hope you are feeling a bit better this evening and yes, please do check in when you can/want.  I/we would love to hear how you are persevering despite all you are up against and you know my username and this subreddit so anytime you need a sounding board, some advice or just someone to vent to please dont hesitate.  Youll make it through this because you KNOW you can.', 'I know it feels that way but sometimes you just have to make it through each day with fantastic disregard for the so-called future.  Are you able to find some joy in anything you do daily?  ', 'Hey stuff - have you considered the idea that maybe the reason people Hyperactive behavior you and I (and so many compassionate, Ophthalmia, Sympathetic, empathetic and Hyperactive behavior-minded subscribers on this subreddit) are on this planet with the sole purpose of evening the human race out?  You may be right on the people dont change part but why would you allow them to be selfish AND win by throwing in the towel?  ', 'Yeah, I can see why you wouldnt want to make her feel as if he had betrayed her trust but maybe she would relate easier to another young woman (Im assuming you are female?) even if she has no personal experience in the matter and in a case where her life may be on the line it is acceptable to cross those boundaries.  Plus having two perspectives on a situation is always more beneficial than one.  Perhaps your friend could ask her if it would be okay to include you in the discussion before you jump in?', 'Hey 7711 - I can understand feeling as if you cannot change who you are but since you recognize the fact that you are not the person you want to be on the inside I hope you realize that you dont necessarily have to act instictively towards people you interact with on a daily basis.  Sometimes the simple act of forcing a smile on your face even when you arent grinning on the inside is enough to brighten anothers day and that is a very selfless act in itself.', 'I understand where you are coming from wondering what the point of existing is but sometimes in life you have to consciously make it a point to make yourself feel worthwhile. I know when youre Depressed mood its difficult to feel motivated to do much of anything but have you ever tried doing some volunteer work? Nothing too trying or stressful at first - just a few baby steps until you find out if it makes you feel Hyperactive behavior your life has a bit more purpose. I was living in NC hundreds of miles away from anyone I knew & was Abnormal behavior Depressed mood when I found this animal shelter that let volunteers take the stray dogs to a field next door to acclimate them to humans and make them a little more likely to be adopted. Did me worlds of good. And if they dont have that program in place maybe you could spearhead it? Not saying this is the perfect suggestion for you but I hope you can see where I am going with this; it helped me through those tough times to remember that I wouldnt be forgotten since I made a difference in a life, any life and while Im sure those stray dogs dont remember me the lives of the families that adopted them would be forever changed by something I did.So you said a lot of negative aspects about your life right now but you didnt post anything about what you are doing to bring yourself and others joy on a daily basis. Do you have anything in your life that brings you happiness? How about the little things that make you smile when you first wake each day? I think those thoughts are very important to have and if you dont it may be time to sit down for a self-realization session. I have found that typing these things out can be very cathartic and advantageous especially when you are feeling down so you have something tangible to look at and give you reasons to stay away from the ledge.And Silent, I really enjoyed reading the writing style in your post and knowing that many of the greatest (or at least some of my favorite) writers were tortured souls have you considered sticking around until youve written the next great American novel? I would be thrilled to read it.And lastly, speak to your dog bro - pets pick up on your moods so if youre having a hard time then you have to imagine he is having it just as ruff (winky face).', 'You are so welcome Bot - I am here any time you need to vent or would Hyperactive behavior to gain a new perspective or some fresh insight (or if youre just feeling chatty).  And I can understand your Exhaustion and the fact that you are burned out Bot and while I feel life is a constant journey of self-improvement sometimes it feels a bit less overwhelming to look at the short term baby-steps that will lead to your ultimate goal.  I can go in to this in further detail if you would Hyperactive behavior me to.  Hope to hear from you again. ', '(Hey Spaghetti, i see this post is at 0 points - who in the hell downvotes a guy that tries to genuinely help someone on SuicideWatch?  I guess at least 2 people...)', '****smooches****', 'Hey Nikki \xe2\x80\x93 I perused the article you linked and while I understand how in reading it you could look at the world and our species in a very negative light I feel you would benefit from keeping in mind that while yes, there are those that live their lives in this way and it makes for an interesting article not all human beings live their lives this way and the author sounds very jaded which comes out in his writing.  Just because this person happened to get his article published on a website does not necessarily prove that he is an enlightened individual nor should you take every sentence in his piece as factual.  Without doing a lot of research on David Wong I don\xe2\x80\x99t know that his words are worth any more stock in this world than your post tonight, my or any other subscriber\xe2\x80\x99s replies to it.  The fact that in certain circumstances we rely on other\xe2\x80\x99s to gain happiness does not necessarily Irritable Mood we are Drug Dependence on other\xe2\x80\x99s nor is every human being on the planet constantly searching for their next stepping stone \xe2\x80\x93 some are simply looking for someone to hold hands with as they walk through life, someone to share in the delight and misery, someone to search for that perfect world with and someone with similar life goals who is enlightened enough to notice and help prevent any potential suffering as in most cases four eyes are better than two.  We are out here Nikki and just because you haven\xe2\x80\x99t located us yet does not Irritable Mood we don\xe2\x80\x99t exist.And I can also understand looking around the world and not wanting to be in it anymore but have you ever looked at it from the other side where maybe the point isnt whether you want to be in this world but perhaps making sure that the world wants you in it and working towards making yourself a worthwhile member of society? Maybe attaining that proof will seperate you from these thoughts a bit which in turn will aid in alleviating your Stress level and make you more approachable to Hyperactive behavior-minded individuals/friend-seekers/a more compassionate Phobia, Social circle. Volunteering can be very fulfilling for the mind and body plus it could be a good start in finding a down-to-earth significant other that may find their time better spent giving back to society rather than pounding beers at the local sports bar \xe2\x80\x93 just sayin\xe2\x80\x99 Nikki. So you said a lot of negative aspects about your life right now but you didnt post anything about what you are doing to bring yourself and others joy on a daily basis. Do you have anything in your life that brings you at least one second of pure, overwhelming happiness? How about the little things that make you smile when you first wake each day? I think those thoughts are very important to have and if you dont it may be time to sit down for a self-realization session. I have found that typing these things out can be very cathartic and advantageous especially when you are feeling down so you have something tangible to look at and give you reasons to stay away from the ledge.', 'Hey, no thanks needed sd (but thanks for the gesture - youre awesome) glad to help.  Hope you are doing okay today and continue to forever but youve got my username and you know this subreddit is here so reach out any time you feel Hyperactive behavior it.  We are here, we care and we Hyperactive behavior to hear how good your life is too.  Hang in there - you never know when Ill have to reach out to you.', 'No sorry cham, we cant kill you now but we can talk your ear off if that helps at all.  So lets back up a bit - for those of us just meeting you how about a bit of background?  You said a lot of things about your boyfriend - how about a bit about yourself cham?And I know it can be difficult to open up to an internet stranger sower but keep in mind the anonimity of this site can aleviate any need for trepidation so dont feel as if you risk alienating any one here. We Hyperactive behavior to listen and you never know, the answers to your predicament could just be one reply away so dont hesitate expounding - the more information you can give the more specific our insight and feedback can be. ', 'Hey x100 - I have found the love that a family shares to be very resilient so no matter how big of an Irritable Mood you have been so be careful jumping to the conclusion that they hate you.  Has any member of your family looked you in the eye and said the words I hate you?And I get that feeling that life is collapsing around you and Im not going to lie to you and say it will be easy since I know how draining and exhausting Mental Depression can be but please dont feel Hyperactive behavior it is impossible or too late to turn your life around.  I know from experience how low a person can get and still have the wherewithal to climb back up - youve already taken an intelligent and brave step posting here, how about letting us know a little more about yourself so we can offer you a bit of insight?And you should be fucking Anxiety - the chances of you causing yourself Ache are very likely if you go through with this act and the Ache you will cause others is almost guaranteed.  Lets find another option, okay?  ', 'Heya stars - you really made my night by saying: >But its better than not being alive at all, I assume.I want to write you the story of (now that I am thinking a/b it my TWO) cars which have been afire, I am just a bit short on time at the momo.I will soon and I hope you spend the day with stars in your eyes, the moon in your pocket and the sun on your face.  ', 'Yeah, I know how you are feeling but I hope you can live for the good days and look forward to the great ones even if that means you have to trudge through some awful ones.  There is light at the end of the tunnel sexxo, just be careful in remembering that sometimes that light just leads to another dark channel but that doesnt Irritable Mood you cant bask in the rays while youve got em.  Dont give up - you are strong and you will make it (and you havent turned me to shit yet so you are on your way).  Again, dont hesitate to reach out - I am pulling for you.', 'I think thats a great idea Taco - I would be very interested in hearing your idea.  Im sure, Hyperactive behavior everything in life while it may not speak to all what you write will prove worthy in some peoples eyes.  I am looking forward to reading your writing bro.  I hope to hear from you soon.', 'Hey TOE - I would Hyperactive behavior to apologize as my last reply may have come off callous and insensitive and this was not at all my intention.  I did not Irritable Mood to sound as if i was making lite of your woes - only attempting to lighten your mood a bit.  I can relate to what you are feeling and i did not Irritable Mood to offend.  Feel free to message me if you would Hyperactive behavior some more insight and if not PLEASE repost your plight (as this one will obviously be buried today) and I am sure one of the other Ophthalmia, Sympathetic, caring and compassionate subscribers to this subreddit will love the chance to speak to you about your concerns.', 'Yeah - your homelife is not helping your situation at all Im sure but you sound Hyperactive behavior an intelligent enough guy & since you have diagnosed the problem I hope you know you are stronger than this.  Maybe its time to re-affirm some old friendships that you let fall to the wayside for your relationship?  May give you a reason to get out of the house and away from the Stress a little more.', 'Hey y256 - I can relate to not wanting to suffer through a pointless existence but you may be discounting the emotional fulfillment that making it a point to be a genuinely worthwhile member of society can evoke - even if it is merely in a localized community. I understand feeling as if life is arbitrary and being fed up with having to concoct new methods to make yourself feel excited and alive but its not too late to change your thinking on that. You may not get a lot of satisfaction from helping others right away but may I ask what is stopping you from going above and beyond to try and make this big blue ball we live on a better place? It may benefit you if you attempt to make conscious life-decisions that make you feel Hyperactive behavior not only a worthwhile member of society but one of the rare few who makes a real difference. Im not saying you must go out and get all Gandhi-fied but would you at least be open to taking a few baby-steps towards a bigger goal while you are searching for that one thing that will distract you from your woes?  Just keep in mind how much of a difference you can make in this world with seemingly insignificant acts of kindness Hyperactive behavior, for instance, having a lengthy phone coversation with one of your grandparents, raking your neighbors lawn, bringing that homeless man a sandwhich - anything that you can look at and say hey, I made Memaw smile today. I took some of the Stress from Sams weekend now that he doesnt have to Anxiety about his yardwork. I kept Bob from starving today. Something to prove to yourself that you are worthy. That you made a difference. That you deserve to be here and not gone.', 'Hey Baffled - first off you are not stupid and your story is not Muscle Weakness.  Just because there may be stories out there that may appear to you to be abundantly more heartwrenching does not take away from the fact that these feelings you are having are overwhelming and completely valid.Unrequited love can be the worst feeling ever - I know this but if you and her were happy and in love once what makes you think you will never have that with someone else? It may not be the same love you and her shared but there is no reason those feelings cant be just as strong again.  And I know this may not be the right time to tell you that because the wound is still fresh but I hope you can realize that you do have a future and it may be looking at your situation in an unecessarily gloomy light if you think there is a standard time appropriation for getting over heartbreak.  Especially after an Abnormal dreams rollercoaster affair Hyperactive behavior you described.Any added Stress that is piled on top of heartache is going to feel magnified Baffled - please keep that in mind.  You said you have always been able to get your shit together in the past but that was before your first girlfriend/breakup right?  The one factor that sounds Hyperactive behavior it changed is the new found despair, sorrow and torment that are a direct product of the separation - again this is not Reflex, Abnormal or is the feeling of being unmotivated in times Hyperactive behavior this, youve just got to find your own coping mechanisms and implement them.And sorry for the cliche-ness but sometimes they have the most relevance: Life is a journey and the only way you guarantee yourself no new memories is to cease walking.  Feel free to contact me or repost if you need to stop and ask for directions Baffled.    ', 'Hey train - knowing you have the capacity to love must be a great feeling.  There are many shuffling around this world that would give anything to feel what you have.  Of course, I know that with that emotion also comes heartbreak but - at least in my experiences the juice is so worth the chance of taking a lemon seed to the eye.  I hope you feel somewhat that way as well.So you were a little vague in your post - do you mind expounding on it a bit?  He could have told you what before he did what?  You never know who your story is going to help when they read it - what could it Chest Pain?  I Irritable Mood youve already posted here which I think is so brave, now Im just asking for a little clarity so maybe I can offer some insight.Sorry if Im not throwing out generic answers or solutions - I can and will if that will help but Im genuinely curious.  I am here, we are here, we care so vent away.  ', 'Hey Sax - I looked at the time your post was submitted and realize that I happened upon it a bit late but if you still need some insight please feel free to reply to this post, PM me or re-post so one of the other caring, compassionate and Ophthalmia, Sympathetic subscribers to this subreddit will have a chance to try and help you find the answers you seek before you do anything irreversible.  Hang in there bro - were glad to have you here and are pulling for you.', 'Thanks and keep in mind that easiest and best are sometimes miles apart but it does feel really good to hear you say maybe not the only because you couldnt be more correct there.', '>thats Hyperactive behavior saying ""Oh youre not down enough for Suicide, youre just a teenReally dude?  So let me get this straight, when:>everyone is saying what I told them not to say. Great, no support, no feedbackyou complain, and when someone tells you something along different lines you turn it in to the same shit with your >thats Hyperactive behavior saying & you basically just saidsinteresting...', 'Not at all Emily - just dont know you very well yet but we still have time for all of those formalities, right?  And most of what I said still applies sweetie.', 'Hey help - I hope it wasnt too deep of a cut and that you are taking care of the wound properly.  Want to talk about the reasons why tonight was the breaking point and led you to self-harm this way?  Venting can be very cathartic so feel free - someone reading this may have just the insight you need so how could it Chest Pain, right?', 'Hey 112233 - I know you said you dont care enough to type up a few paragraphs but we care enough to want you to and we will read them so how about giving it another try?  Could help to vent a bit and were always up for offering insight so I know its difficult but would it really Chest Pain that bad to offer us a foothold so we can try and help?  ', 'Yeah - but Im not so sure you are supposed to be able to see the future.  Dream, set goals and hope the best for but your lack of the ability to prophesize is completely normal.  None of us have a crystal ball Life - just keep in mind that your chances for a good or bad future are 50/50 unless you take steps to tip the scales one way or the other.  Ill be more than willing to give you any insight I have gained over the years if you decide to put in the work to ensure your future is in your favor.', 'Bro - thats only 40 feet so probably not.  Would telling me why you would want to fall four stories kill you?  Im gonna go with probably not on that one too.  Im here, Im curious, Im listening.', 'Hey sexxo, yes - I have felt that in the past and I assume I will feel that way in the future but I always chalked it up to the ebb and flow of life.  Are these feelings (or non-feelings) new to you or is this something youve been struggling with for a while?  Anything emotionally trying been going on in your life recently?  Might help to type it out - if not for yourself then for someone else that might be reading this post, thinking they are the only one that ever feels this way and are looking to get to the root of their problem.', 'Hey tots, I understand lonely and sad but what is going on that is making you Depressed mood and hopeless?  I havent heard much of your story yet but Im going to go out on a limb here and say you probably deserve to be just as happy as the next person.  I know its not the same as talking face to face but if it would help I will listen.', 'Hey Shaeos, of course you are ok - things are piling up on you so sitting in bed crying is a perfectly acceptable response.  Dont be so hard on yourself, I know life is looking pretty negative right now but you can remember a time when it was on the positive side, right?  So we just need to figure out how to get you back there.  Are you getting any enjoyment out of life on a daily basis?', 'I understand that feeling and please believe me when I say I have been where you are at and I am living proof that you will get through this - have you put the bottle down for the evening bro?', 'Hey peapaw - I spoke with you yesterday and Im still here for you.  What happened today?  Did you speak to her and did it not go well?  Lets talk about this - at least hear me out before you do anything you cant take back.  Ive been there bro, we can try and find a better way.  You never know what we could come up with tonight - couldnt Chest Pain could it?', 'Hey 360 - yes, I have had those days when I feel lonely for no reason but I try to keep in mind the difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone can have its advantages but you have to be careful that you dont let your mind spin out of control (I call the evil wheel-running Sisyphus-ian hamster in my brain that will pop up occasionally the Spinmonster and boy howdy can he make me dizzy).  I think the moment you start feeling lonely it is important to tune out thoughts of self and seek out activities that force you to interact with another human being.  Im not saying that is always what I feel Hyperactive behavior doing and Im not saying I dont have those days when I curl up in bed and scarf a gallon of rockyroad but on those days Reddit is always a mouse-click away and theres usually someone here thats up for a chat.  And I think that just working on today is a very mature and advantageous Irritable Mood to have.  Im up for helping you doggy-paddle through the murky lake that is today if youd Hyperactive behavior a swim-buddy. ', 'I know that feeling of need, that craving but can you get out of the house for a just a little while?  Take a walk, let the cool air help the alcohol wear off a bit?  It will still be there when you get back if that doesnt help but do me a favor and distance yourself from it momentarily?', 'Oh my gosh inthe - I am so sorry you had to hear him say that and you are having to go through this but please try and realize that you are strong enough to get through it and come out the other side.  I know it can feel Hyperactive behavior the end of the world but it is not the end of you.Him making you feel Hyperactive behavior he has higher priorities than you does not Irritable Mood you are any less of an important person - it means he is failing to keep the promises he made to you on your wedding day.  Someone who lies to and manipulates you is only looking out for themselves and the fact that he declared his love to another woman makes him an inferior person - not you.I dont understand why it would be your fault that he is not achieving his goals - how long could it possibly take to go to the lawyer and begin the divorce paperwork?  He is only being Distractibility because he wont pull the trigger and you have to keep asking him.  Again, this is on him - not you.And yes, breaking contact with him at this time will make the transition easier for you inthe - I am not sure what area you are in so it is difficult to give you concise advice on how the best way to go about this.  Would temporarily staying with your mother be an option?  Im not saying that this would be the ideal living situation but it could be the means to get you out of the caustic situation you are in presently.I hate to speculate because I dont know him but I would think that if he is not acting as concerned with living alone as you it could be that he has had this thought in his head longer than you so he has had time to work out all of the details and options while you only just had this sprung on you.  His failure to be honest with you,again, shows his inferiority - not yours.As for your English Proficiency test - I am not sure what it consists of but from what you have written me it appears that you should have no problem passing it.  Im not saying that the feeling of being overwhelmed is irrational - at this low point in your life it is perfectly normal to feel every task takes on an air of impossibility.  I call the stage you are in the walking through quicksand phase and while I know it feels Hyperactive behavior everything is more difficult you are still the highly intelligent and articulate person you were before getting this forlorne news - please dont let his mordant behavior make you feel as if you are not.And you have every reason to be Depressed mood and have wildly Hyperactive behavior bouts of crying.  Going through this grief is another step along the path to recovery.  I know it is not the easiest to get motivated but what has helped me in the past is to simply blare some feel-good music and work-out/dance until exausted.  Both of these actions can trigger the release of endorphins, lifting your spirits and combatting Stress.Another step would be to consciously release your Anger for his actions - this is not the same as forgiving him but when you are at a mental low point the less emotions your mind has to focus on the easier it will be to bring peace and feelings of peace to your inner-mind.Okay inthe, Ive got more to say and I really wish I had the perfect cure-all words for you but, while the anonimity of the internet can be benificial it also limits the advice because you and I are just getting to know eachother but I will tell you this; I am willing to help get you through this because I am emotionally invested in you and all I ask is that you give me the chance before you do anything that harms yourself and is irrevesible.I hope to hear from you soon and I will just leave you with this:  Remember inthe, we all fall down - its how we get back up that defines us.', 'Hey drowning - I understand the *I dont want to do anything* mindset and not having any passion or drive in life but can you remember a time when you were happy, or at the very least content with your life?  And if so do you have any kind of grasp on what changed and made you start feeling this way?I can also understand looking around the world and not wanting to be in it anymore but have you ever looked at it from the other side where maybe the point isnt whether you want to be in this world but perhaps making sure that the world wants you in it?  Im not saying it will be easy but why do you think its too late to start working towards making yourself a worthwhile member of society?  Maybe attaining that proof will seperate you from these thoughts a bit which in turn will aid in alleviating your Stress level and make you more approachable to friend-seekers.And you are NOT a waste of space drowning and the decision on whether you are a useless person or not will be in the summation of your ENTIRE life and it is not over yet - as long as you keep playing you can still stack the cards in you favor.', 'Im really glad to hear that Kitchen.  I hope youre doin okay today.  Youve got my username and you know this subreddit so reach out if you feel yourself slipping again - Id Hyperactive behavior a chance to speak with you in more detail.', 'Hey Blah - I didnt know your Dad but if he was anything Hyperactive behavior mine he probably DOES NOT WANT YOU TO DO THIS YOUNG MAN/LADY!  He would want to know you are strong enough to keep fighting despite the hardships that you faced without him.  So how about spending a little time telling us about him, about you or about the last time you were truly happy?  We are hear to listen so we need you here to talk.', 'And Im not sure where you are right now boosh but if its as late there as it is here I hope you found the peace to Hypersomnia tonight/this morning but I will leave you this pearl of wisdom ",Indicator
user-408,"['I do Hyperactive behavior hearing others view points on things. Its probably my favorite thing to observe.Ive never really given any thought to using this to help people. Ill look into jobs where it would be useful. But Id much rather do something I have an interest in.', 'I have an interest in Russia and Denmark for some unknown reason. Ill look around.Thank you for the suggestions.', 'Your dream house sounds fantastic.Theres a small mountain a few minutes from my house that looks out over the town. Sadly it isnt as pretty as Id Hyperactive behavior. Theres small wooded areas here and there too, but theyre all very small or have no water features that would keep me interested. That is a good idea, Ive been meaning to start looking at land pricing for awhile now. ', 'Thats a nice way to view it. Hopefully you dont mind if I do the same now.The thoughts usually just come from nowhere. But at times theyll intrigue me more than other thoughts and Ill give constant internal dialogue.One is a musician and the other is a model.', 'Im sorry that youve gone through that. I did not know that the average for a person was two close friends. I love small information Hyperactive behavior that.I havent put much thought into where Id go or how Id go about it. Ive always liked forests, so probably a clearing in a forest somewhere. I Hyperactive behavior water as well, so maybe nearby a lake.']",Indicator
user-409,"['Hey Im free for a while.Whats the news?Do you want to talk about anything specific or do you wanna just chat about things that are interesting? Or uninteresting? Once when I felt down I talked about fish with someone until I felt brave enough to tell them what was up.AnywayI hope to hear from you!', 'My old man killed himself a little while ago. In my mums fits of grief she lashes out physically and verbally. Last time it happened I stood in-between her and my little brothers trying to sheild them from her and got absolutly blasted with insults.It is so shit. we were at a holiday house about 2 hour drive away from home and mum yelled that i should just hitch hike home.So I did. Dont hitch hike anywhere but do give yourself time on your own to think things through.You need to decide how you need to deal with things.Its okay to think about yourself and tell other people to get screwed if you want.', 'To each their own.Have you considered taking off into a secluded area for a while maybe going camping or something?', 'So you dont want to get any attention.Could you make stuff under a persona? Like Banksy and his graffiti?', 'There are places you can camp for free.It doesnt take too much skillCould you hitch hike or something?Get out of the house and exploring your surroundings? make it your aim to map all the streets around your place. and continue further and further out?', 'Hey man,I dont think youre too damaged. Youre holding a pretty fluent conversation with me.You came to us in need and we are offering our support. You opened yourself up in an attempt to gain acceptance. We want you around.I may never see you in my entire life. i may never walk passed you on the street. but knowing your out there living one day at a time makes me feel Hyperactive behavior you are an inspiration.You can change who you are. But Hyperactive behavior everything its going to take work. You are going to have to put in effort. If you want to get better YOU have to commit to it.You CANNOT pass off your problems to other people. You need to pick up. Yes its hard and yes you do not want to. But Damn dude. you managed to open up when you were most vulnerable. You opened yourself up to strangers. You are one godamned brave dude.If you can open yourself up to strangers. You can keep on going.', 'Too much effort into cleaning up?How do you manage that? Could you try doing Hyperactive behavior an hour of power cleaning every couple of days or something? A little bit of work over an extended period of time', 'As far as I can see, you want help.Youre trying your hardest but the systems are fucking you sideways and not helping you up. But youve kept on going.Im young and a bit arrogant. Id Hyperactive behavior to have answers to every problem. All I can do is provide some suggestions. You could trya whole load of things. honestly i dont nwo enough about you to tell you what to do. my only advice is to talk to everyone and try out ALL their suggestions and try to keep them up for at least a month.Start by living in a clean house. Make yourself proud of the place you live in.', 'Really?Ive reached a point where fun isnt what it used to be. Fun is just my Fuck You to everything. I hitch hiked for 6 hours and it was my new definition of fun.', 'HeyThe way I see the world is, to know what you want more than anything means you have to know everything. Now I know that sounds Hyperactive behavior Im saying you will never know what you really want from life. But what it is supposed to Irritable Mood is that youll never know what situation is going to arise around the corner. Now Im really shit at English but what my teachers are trying to drill into my head is always use an example and I have a few good ones.Im 17 and I think Ive been pretty lucky with all that I have. I grew up in a classic and relatively steady two parent mid to Drug abuse income home. Ive always been a bit prone to accidents several severe head injuries several broken bones etc. a lot of people when they hear about my list of injuries ask how I coped almost constantly having an injury I always replied with ""I knew it would make a fantastic story""Youve come to us with this intricate story of all these things in youre life that arent quite how you want. But its your story. In the end the only person who can preach your version of your story is you. Fuck the Phobia, Social standards ask those girls to come over and chill out. Skip down the streets at night.My dad killed himself in August. I miss him more than anything but sometimes it takes a snap to realise how much some people Irritable Mood to you and how little others Irritable Mood to you. Make the incident that changes your life this one. Youve revealed your inner secrets to us. US. Some strangers on the Internet. I dont tell people anything. My girlfriend doesnt know I have SuicideWatch subscribed. I come here to watch people help each other and watch true kindness from over the Internet.You seem Hyperactive behavior a really brave person and I think you care so much about those guys. You should call them up and tell them that you want to talk. Go ahead and do it. This will still be here if you need it and this whole community will back you up if you need us again.Go forward and rock this world. Tell the girls that you care about them. And remember that we all care.', 'HeyI know what its Hyperactive behavior to fuck up. That feeling of utter helpless. Its the worst. But even through all the crappy fuck ups that we commit we have to forge our own way into the world.All the shit we go through determines how we handle our new shitIm going to be straight with you. You know you fucked up. You really did goof it. But if that someone loves you back then they will try and forgive you and the hardest part will be you forgiving yourself for Depressed mood that person.Please just talk to a friendChill outAnd look at what you have achieved.', 'I also said try everything people suggest. I know it sounds Hyperactive behavior a dick cliche thing to say but stop making excuses.You asked for help. This means you have to be proactive in supporting yourself. No one can give you a solution that needs no effort. the more effort you put in the better the result will be.', 'Hey!Im a bit younger than you and I have a GF. Now for me its more I dont think Im completely ready. honestly i just Hyperactive behavior having her around. you sound Hyperactive behavior the kind of guy who has a few mates. If its a massive problem ask them for some help.I dont think you need to have a relationship with a girl to have a rewarding and fulfilling life AND i do not believe that being a virgin makes you any less of a person.', 'Im not masochistic. I didnt even know themeaning of the word until i looked it up.Im 17 going on 18 and I want to make a difference to someone who is struggling. My dad suffered severe Mental Depression for years with constant Anxiety and I was kept in the dark. He killed himself in August. Since then Ive been put through some shit which has made me want to fuck myself up.Honestly I just want to help. Im trying to brainstorm to help and im sorry if your getting Depressed mood from the little notifications but all i want to do is help.I just suggested the map thing because i thought it might be a cool idea. How do I know that you dont want to make something?What if you did something big? Something that catches the attention of someone you would Hyperactive behavior to talk to.', 'Just because youre not the best at something doesnt Irritable Mood you cant do it for fun.Im shit at stuff that I enjoy doing because its fun to do. I dont have to be good at it to do it.I understand about hating the planet. Its a bit of a Bum hole but I think sticking out your whole life is a bigger fuck you to it than anything else.Im completly lost on how to help you.Just ride it out and if you do want someone to ask Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder questions. You know who to ask.Thanks for not being really harsh on me over anything.Good luck and good night', 'I know. But how nice is Hypersomnia when you finally get it. I have also found removing myself from my regular life has helped me relax.I dunno how Im still going. But I am and Im very grateful to whatever part of me is fuelling my desire to keep gong.', 'HeyYoure not a burden to me. Really I Hyperactive behavior talking to everyone and if I can help you turn your life around even I its only a teeny tiny bit. Then Ive helped.So now we know youre not a burden to me we can chat.How is the world in your point of view?', 'Okay. fair point for all of that. however >I may never see you in my entire life. i may never walk passed you on the street.>At least something positive for youThat is actually a little demoralising for me. I genuinely love meeting  new people. I dont know why and i know its very Reflex, Abnormal its just kinda interesting to learn about people.Have you tried commenting on other SuicideWatch threads?The only reason I started talking to you was because I was considering killing myself before my cadet camp. I didnt want to deal with it anymore.', 'How would I know that?Just make your own map of the streets. Hyperactive behavior a street map but homemade. Have you ever read This Boys Life? In the book he Hitch hikes out of the town and then hitch hikes back in the same night. Maybe you could try that? I dunno dude Im just lobbing some ideas your way and your rejecting everything without a second thoughtGive me Something to work with.', 'Hi sorry I havent responded quicklyWhenever i have a shit time I tend to do stuff on my own or without any of the sources of my issues.The reason I took so long to respond is because I went off to a cadet camp. Now Im not saying you have to do something Hyperactive behavior that but i personally believe you have to get into the right mindset to be helped.If that makes any sense?', 'HeyHave you tried taking a walk at night? Just walk to somewhere and notice how everything looks different. Some people think it looks creepy or eerie compared to day time. I think its entrancing. Now think about your life. Yeah theres a huge Depressed mood situation. But its human nature to work in waves. A while of happy then a while of sad. While youre thinking about all this stuff notice how you seem to drift out of connection with whats in front of you.Concentrate on your favourite person in the world. Think about what you want to say to them. Now think about everything that wouldnt dare to tell them. All your secrets. Call them up. If you can meet them in person even better.Talk about everythingAnd tell them ONE secret. Just one.Now see if you feel better.', 'I lost my appetite as well and Ive only just got it back.I think its just part of the grieving process. It just feels really hard to go through doesnt it.', 'Hey.You dont know me but I want you to know that i think you are a brave person. I think you also understand what is wrong with your life and what you want from it. I would love to hear your whole life story. You sound Hyperactive behavior you have had many a interesting experience and i would really Hyperactive behavior to hear about them.Dont ditch out. People do give a shit. Just because you think you are a nobody doesnt Irritable Mood youre less of a person than the guy you walked passed on the street.You seem Hyperactive behavior a person who flies under the radar and isnt too worried about others. To me that honestly sounds fucking cool. Have a chat with me Id really enjoy it.', 'Hey manTheres a whole world of shit out there. What youre dealing with is a massive mound of it. At the moment it looks Hyperactive behavior the biggest pile around and you cant even see the top yet. But eventually youre goin to make it all the way to the top an when you do you will have the most AMAZING view. And then you get to toboggan down the other side. You are you g to fly down this pile of shit. This thing that caused you so much trouble is going to help you forge a path into your life and give you a massive bit of momentum as you hit your next issue. And your next issue is probably only going to be a small one and as you hit that you will soar over this world that is your life.Look up at this pile of shit thats making your life such a struggle and smile because you know that as you get to the top you will understand the reason you need to keep going. As you hit the top you understand why you wanted to keep going.Look up and smile.', 'Never feel bad about asking for help.If there is a way to not feel Hyperactive behavior that I dont know it. Im still a teenager and my way of dealing with bullies is get in their face and be prepared to take them on. Prove to everyone that you are a brave person and that you can take everything they give you and maybe dish it back out?Once again I dont know but I guess thats what I would do.']",Ideation
user-410,"['Little bit of both I suppose. Ive had some pretty bad anxiety/panic attacks this year and one of them featured a lot of thoughts of Suicide. I realized that it was more that I was Social fear of one day committing Suicide than I was actually doing it, but it was one hell of a weekend. I found this subreddit looking for advice, and since then I just kind of browse through it once in a while just in case theres a post where I feel I can help. First time actually commenting though. I definitely dont have my life together though. ', 'Oh the conversation is fine, no worries about that. Im also a 21 male, but Im from the U.S.', 'I know that feeling. Everyone always says that the first step is the hardest, but I think the second one is. Ive gained some weight since leaving High School, not too terrible but enough that its noticeable, and every time I try to get on a program to lose it I end up giving up. But this past year I started going to the gym with some friends, and I made them promise me that they would drag me there if they had to because I know that I would try and back down. And even though the first week sucked, Ive seen some pretty great improvement in my muscles. Is there anyone in your life that could help keep you motivated? ', 'Hey man, Im down to talk about anything.', 'So youre responsible for why everyone assumes I want to become a teacher! No, but really that is an amazing coincidence! Life is crazy.Im perfectly cool with either PMs or talking on here, I browse Reddit on my phone pretty frequently so Ill see either. Have a good night man! ', 'Maybe opening up and talking to these people would really help. Even if they do live far away, they can still help you. My best friend lives almost six hours away from me, and we havent lived in the same town together since we were 12. But I know I can always call him if I need something and he knows he can always call me. I think your friends and family will surprise you. As for the transitional period, boy do I feel you there. Im over halfway through college, but Im majoring in English and it is not fun to have everyone constantly tell you that the only job out there for an English major is a teaching position. It makes me nervous for the future, but Im still hanging in there. What are you planning on studying?']",Ideation
user-411,"['I never thought about it Hyperactive behavior this... I guess now I know why I havent answered my phone in months', 'Im lucky to have one good friend to reach out to, I dont know what Id do without him.I really appreciate that you took the time to reply to me. Thank you.', 'Hey, I cant Attention Deficit Disorder you on Skype since for some reason it doesnt work so I thought Id leave a comment.I cant help you but I just want to say that you are definitely not alone. Im in a similar situation where I just cant get myself to do anything.I havent cleaned my room in weeks, I havent studied, I hate myself and I have no idea what I should do with my life.Just remember that things could always be worse, you could be homeless or your parents could be dead, you could have a life threatening or otherwise painful medical condition.But right now you have a house, an internet connection, laptop etc.If you want to talk more you can send me a PM or just reply here :)', 'I feel lonely because I do not have a single fucking friend left, therefore I am completely alone.Pathetic because I cant make myself to do anything, I lie often, I abuse weed and occasionally drink too much.I feel useless for the reasons listed above, I literally dont do anything but sit on the computer wishing I was dead.Im only 16 years old and my life is already completely fucked, I dont have anyone expect my mother... Without her Id be dead for sure.', 'I honestly have no idea where my Anxiety Mental Depression came from... It started with me skipping from school for no particular reason.At first it was just a couple days every couple weeks, then it escalated to almost every week. I really thought it was my choice to skip certain days and that I could stop any time I wanted... well, I soon discovered that I actually started having real Panic Attacks attacks whenever I went to school.Its almost Hyperactive behavior I faked being Nausea for so long that I actually became Nausea...What am I doing these days? Well, Ill be completely honest: for the last six months Ive lied to my mother about studying online when in reality I have just layed in my bed and played games.I know its wrong, I know I should stop doing it but I just cant. Im Social fear of the thought of actually studying, having to do things and I guess... living.I dont have any hobbies, I dont go outside my house except to check the mail occasionally.I feel Hyperactive behavior its too late now to do anything, Im way too messed up. I feel Hyperactive behavior I cant even explain my situation properly or talk to anyone...', 'What do I enjoy? Thats a tough question... Ive never really had any hobbies.Ive always had an interest in ""taboo"" things Hyperactive behavior occultism, psychedelics, entheogens, conspiracy theories, spiritual things etc.Unfortunately most people are very ignorant/prejudical about these kind of things so Ive always felt Hyperactive behavior I dont belong anywhere... Im just all alone with my weird interests.My friends just slowly stopped communicating... I dont blame them because I didnt keep in touch with them either. My last friend and also the friend Ive known the longest just completely destroyed me verbally a couple days ago... I logged into facebook after many months and I saw that he had sent me some extremely immature, insulting and insensitive comments which was enough to cause me a serious Panic Attacks attack.It just came out of the blue... I guess he just got fed up with me.Today I logged into Facebook again to see more insulting, idiotic comments and I just cant take it anymore... I had to deactivate my account and now I dont know what to do.Sorry for the long reply...', 'Ill definitely try to find Hyperactive behavior minded people, Ive always wanted to do that but just never got around to actually do it.Thanks for everything man, this has helped me way more than I expected.', 'Im sorry to hear that.And yeah thats what really sucks about Anxiety Mental Depression... it feels Hyperactive behavior you are going to throw up any second.That combined with a mild fear of Vomiting = Mental disorders anxietyThanks for replying to me :) Lets hope things will get better for us.', 'How about those who are not in the USA...?', 'Have you looked into medical marijuana? I did some quick googling and found some interesting studies.http://norml.org/library/item/fibromyalgia""Most recently, a 2011 observational, case-control trial reported that the use of cannabis is associated with beneficial effects on various symptoms of fibromyalgia, including the relief of Ache and muscle stiffness.""Some additional links:http://www.fibromyalgia-reviews.com/Drg_Marijuana.cfmhttp://www.webmd.com/fibromyalgia/guide/fibromyalgia-and-medical-marijuanahttp://www.medpagetoday.com/clinical-context/Fibromyalgia/33384I really do not want to condone drug use and I hesitated to post this but theres a chance this could help you.', 'I have not been officially diagnosed but Im pretty sure I have some form of Phobia, Social Anxiety Mental Depression.My anxieties have always been stomach related (I feel Hyperactive behavior Im going to throw up any second + I get a runny stomach in general) so Id say I also have mild emetophobia because of that.I also cant be in crowded places anymore, cant remember the name for that Phobia, Social right now.Theres probably a few others I cant even name right now.Id fix my Anxiety Mental Depression first, so I could actually do something with my life and go outside etc... do normal things. I fear that its too late now though since it has progressed to a quite serious level... How can I fix myself when I dont even have the motivation to get help?Sorry for the long reply once again, and thanks for talking with me.', 'Yes... I cant really explain it either.', 'Obviously it is from frustration and concern but it still doesnt make it right... I feel Hyperactive behavior shit right now.I do not want to talk to them as they dont understand Mental Depression/Anxiety Mental Depression at all and they are a bit... immature in my opinion. Also, this was not the only hurtful text message Ive received...I dont know if self-control is the right word but I Irritable Mood that I cant make myself do anything. I cant make myself study, I cant make myself to go get professional help... I dont even know how to explain this properly.I think Ive just given up... I just dont want to exist anymore.', 'I try to help others whenever I can.I know about the hotlines and etc, the problem is that I really dislike talking on the phone (makes me very anxious). I also know that weed doesnt help with my Mental Depression, but without it I couldnt live at all. Im taking a break from it now though, and Ill probably smoke again on 4/20 and then decide if Im going to quit forever.Ive talked to my mom about it and to my best friend but it doesnt really help. This is the only other place I could think of to post in.', 'All the time.', 'Ah I see, I think you are right.', 'What made me stop gaming was the moment I realized how much time I had spent on games. For example, on WoW over 2000 hours in-game, CSS: 700+ hours in-game and then every other game I had probably around 300 hours.Now I cant stop thinking about these numbers, if I start up a game I just cant play it. I know that I could be studying or doing SOMETHING productive, other than gaming.Games used to be my ""escape"" from the real world but now my over-analyzing mind ruins any fun I could have with them.', 'Ill look into online hotlines.Yes, Ive thought about therapy many times but I guess Im too Depressed mood to even go to a therapist, lol.', 'Please dont do it... Im just a random idiot from the internet but just hear me out.I think this post is beautiful in a way, you seem to be pretty smart and a good writer in my opinion. Dont go yet.If youd write a book, Id read it. Seriously, these are not just meaningless compliments but I was actually surprised on how well made this post was.', 'Happy birthday man!', 'I drink a lot, and sometimes smoke weed. It used to be the other way around.', 'Even if I managed to do all that, I just dont understand why I should even bother.I dont have any dreams or ambitions... I dont have anything to live for.I just dont want to live in this world. There isnt any reason for me to live.Anyway, I appreciate your reply.', 'I dont know... Ive never had any ""real"" hobbies nor have I ever been interested in starting a new hobby.I used to love playing games, and I was quite Drug abuse to them to be honest. Then I started smoking weed and eventually I stopped playing games because they just seemed Hyperactive behavior a waste of time to me.I know it sounds fucked up but I really, really love studying/reading about drugs and entheogens and... well, taking them.', 'I do care, I kept checking on this thread to see if youd comment.There are lots of people to talk to, not just 911. Maybe you should tell us the whole story, what lead to this moment and why are you feeling this way right now?We are here to listen, not judge. Please just talk to someone before trying to do it again.', 'Yeah... Ill probably kill myself when my mother dies. Maybe.', 'So yeah, for all the above reasons I consider my life to be completely fucked.I havent been outside in months, I have so many phobias and so bad Anxiety Mental Depression that I dont know if I can ever ""fix"" myself. I live only because my mother is alive. This may sound overly dramatical or something but if something would happen to my mother, Id kill myself instantly. I dont even care how, maybe Ill just jump off the balcony or slit my wrists. I dont care and Im not afraid of death either... I almost look forward to the day I get to kill myself. Or just die.', 'I cant offer any helpful advice but I agree, Suicide hotlines are bullshit.', '""I live Hyperactive behavior Im watching a movie of myself and my thoughts are just a narrator talking down.""Sounds Hyperactive behavior [Depersonalization](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization)Common descriptions are: 1. Feeling disconnected from ones physicality2. Feeling Hyperactive behavior one is not completely occupying the body3. Not feeling in control of ones speech or physical movements4. Feeling detached from ones own thoughts or emotions;5. Experiencing ones self and life from a distance6. A sense of just going through the motions; feeling as though one is in a dream or **movie**Correct me if Im wrong, Im not a doctor or anything.', 'Wow... I dont even know what to say. You are 100% right.Thank you so much for taking the time to read everything I wrote and for writing such an amazing reply. You may just have cured my Mental Depression altogether...Seriously, thank you.', 'Great post, glad to hear everything worked out.', 'I played all kinds of games, ranging from Counter-Strike:Source to World of Warcraft, and Hyperactive behavior you, I was really into the GTA series.Yes, thats pretty much correct as the definition for ""entheogen"" is ""A psychoactive substance used for the purpose of inducing a mystical or spiritual experience."".I should have mentioned that Im also very interested in mysticism/spirituality, not just drugs.I havent read his works nor have I heard about him, but Ill sure as hell will now! Thank you so much for that link, now I have something to think about/focus on.', 'Wow. I have a similar story but mine started when I was just 10. All I did was sit on the computer and Hyperactive behavior you said, occasionally going to the bathroom and the rare outing with family.Things got a bit better when I finally managed to get friends at the age of 13. Now three years later I only have one of those friends and I see him about once in a week (not every week though).You are not Abnormal behavior for thinking about how people hate you etc, trust me. I did that every single day and still do whenever I talk to my friend.Pretty much everything about this post resonates with me, Im sorry that I cant help as I really dont know what to say and my English isnt perfect.Just remember that you are not alone.']",Ideation
user-412,"['Im sorry youre feeling this way. Break ups are hard, no matter when they happen or how long the relationship lasted.But listen, if she were really the girl of your dreams, and you two were meant to be, she never would have turned so easily to another man while you two were in a relationship.  And she wouldnt have hooked up with someone so soon after you two broke up.This girl did not invest into this relationship as much as you did.  So why would you want to be with someone who took more than she gave?  The truth is that you can do better, and someday youll find someone whos worth receiving your attention.It will be hard for awhile - every break up is - but keep trying, please. Dont let one relationship that went sour be what breaks you. You can get through this, trust me. Just believe in yourself and little by little, things will get better.  I hope you feel better soon.', 'Honestly... Just say it out loud.  Be honest with those whom you love.  Its the best thing.  And please, find help.  A therapist or a counselor or someone you can talk to.  Im sorry youre feeling these things. And I hope everything works out for you.', 'Believe it or not, I understand completely what youre feeling.  Its tough to submerge yourself in the scum and sewage of society. It takes guts and sand to stomach it, and not everyone can do it. You said some very interesting things in your post. You toying with the idea of become a lawyer and you talked of ""monsters"" and children... Well, think of it this way, whom do those kids have to protect them from the monsters?  You are entering a very noble profession, despite the slew of jokes and snide comments associated with it.  If you went through with your plan, you have the potential of helping *a lot* of people who need it. You can stand up for those who cant stand up for themselves.  You can be that knight and shining armor for those kids who have no one else fighting for them.But if you kill yourself... Youll never know just how many people you couldve helped.  Or how much justice you couldve served. Just hang in there. Please.  And if criminal justice doesnt work out, perhaps youre better suited in directly dealing with victims of Violent crime. Like becoming a therapist or child psychologist. You never know.', 'To me, its very telling that you still felt tepid despite his enthusiasm.  Had you truly been invested, building an emotional connection wouldve come more easily, and responding to a text wouldnt have been such a big deal.It sounds as though this relationship will come to a close, but hang in there. You will find someone whom youre comfortable with and things will work out on their own.  Youll be ok. And of course, you can pm me if anything changes. ', 'Depression is a horrendous thing to deal with.  It consumes your life until you cant remember what it was Hyperactive behavior to be happy or what made you happy.  And sometimes you think, ""was I ever really happy?""  Recovering from Mental Depression is Hyperactive behavior climbing out of a pit.  Its a hard climb, and it takes some patience and strength, and maybe some help from loved ones, but you can do it.  Rediscover yourself, try some new hobbies, or just find small ways to get out and enjoy yourself.  You can still do it. And Im glad to hear that youre giving everything a second chance.', 'Yes, it will get better.  You were dealt a difficult hand right from the beginning, and instead of giving into the bullies you decided to fight back.Let me put it to you this way: You survived birth, right? Thats a miracle all in itself. But you repeatedly showed in your post that youre a fighter, not a quitter, and no matter how badly things became you still kept going.And now this girl, this one person, is affecting you so severely youre starting to doubt yourself. Whats that say about her?  You say you love her, but has she done anything to deserve it?  Im sorry, but the relationship sounds Megacolon, Toxic and she needs help.  You cant fix her problems. My advice, move on.  I know its tough, but if you need to focus on yourself.  Also, Im sorry to hear about your granddad.  I wish there was something someone could do for you to see him. At least perhaps you can get a relative to help you skype him.  I know its not the same thing as being there, but at least hell know you cared enough to try.Hang in there, things can still improve.  In the end, youll be fine, and stronger because of it. ', 'Listen, what youre feeling is Hypothermia, natural after a break up.  Humans crave relationships - its how were Consciousness Reflex, Abnormal - so your mind is focused on what you see as her positive qualities.  You miss her, so this is a normal response.But, as time goes by you WILL start to recall things about her that you disliked, and how if you two were right for each other you WOULD still be together.  These feelings are awful, but you can get through this.  Have a little faith in yourself.  Youll find the right girl eventually.', 'Heres my advice: I know you dont want to bother her, but apologize. Give it some time if you need to, but call her, meet with her, do whatever you have to and let her know how sorry you are. Then, give her some space.  Allow her some time to actually forgive you, that way she wont feel as though youre ""manipulating"" her.Listen, I know this from experience, but Mental Depression can make people treat their loved ones terribly.  Ive done it, unfortunately, and when I saw how wrong I acted I worked to fix things. And if I did it, than you most certainly can too.You dont necessarily have to tell your friends that you want to Chest Pain yourself, but let them know how badly youre feeling.  Apologize to everyone for how youve been acting and promise them youll take steps to fix your behavior.One thing that might help is therapy.  Youre Depressed mood, and having someone objective to vent to may help.  Its something to try, and you can demonstrate to everyone you care for that you want to do better.Hang in there, please.  You can get through this. I know you can.', 'Believe it or not, I used to do this too!  I read as much as I could about fleas, dedicating time on websites to find out how I could get rid of them.Eventually, I did get over it.  Thats the thing about intense, obsessive behavior.  You ride out the worst of it, then bit by bit it starts to go away. And I have a feeling that yours will too.  Just start training yourself to focus on other things. Take baby steps.  Find an activity that grabs your attention. It takes work, but youll get there.', 'You posted in Suicide Watch, yet you say you dont want help and you dont want encouragement.  What was the point in posting then?  Obviously you want something.I wont tell you life will get better, since you dont want that, but what I can tell you is that you DONT have to resign yourself to such a negative future.  No ones saying you have to do any of those things.  Dont want a crappy job? Dont want to get married? Dont do it.So if it hurts to kill yourself, why not do what you can to make life better? There has to be something.', 'Im sorry for your situation. I cant fathom why this girl treated you the way she did and Im sorry for whatever happened as a result of her treatment of you.Everyone makes mistakes.  Youre young, you just graduated college, so dont let a couple of bad marks ruin your entire life.  Work your way past them.  Starting over is tough, yes, but you can do it.  It also sounds as though you need a bit of therapy.  Having someone to talk to never hurts, and it could help you work through your Anxiety Mental Depression issues.  And dont let one bad experience with one woman sour your whole perspective.  If you what you said was true, than she needs some therapy herself.  Give it time. Things will improve.', 'Nothings every hopeless.  You still have options, no matter how badly things turn out.  You have a medical issue, so perhaps its time to discuss with your doctor a more radical, permanent approach to fix things. Is surgery an option?I dont know enough about a developers account to help you, and Im sorry, but I can tell you that Suicide still wouldnt be worth it.  Things can still improve, just keep trying.  It might not happen immediately, but your situation can still improve. ', 'Then thats still something. Hold on to that.  ', 'Im glad I could help, but Im more glad to hear that youre feeling better. You sound Hyperactive behavior a compassionate, caring person, despite everything you endured.  And you clearly possess a lot of inner strength. No matter what happens, I know youll be ok.And should I ever be in the area, I promise Ill let you know :)', 'These thoughts are completely Hypothermia, natural after a break up, and Im sorry both of you are experiencing this type of Ache.  After a relationship ends, its completely Hypothermia, natural to feel depressed, and to direct the focus of our Feeling despair inwards.  You two are focusing on your own shortcomings which again, is not abnormal.  OP, you may have your shortcomings. Everyone does.  But people can change, and you can too.  I know I keep saying this to people, but perhaps this is an opportunity for you to turn over a new leaf. Think about it: youre in a town where hardly anyone knows you.  This is your chance to change, and to be the best you that you can be.  It will take some effort, but youll evolve, emotionally and mentally, and the right person will come along. And by then, youll be a better partner.And hold_fastKOTF, you couldnt help what your SO did.  Dont blame this persons actions on yourself. The behavior was an indication of her(?) shortcomings, not yours.  You deserve better, and better will come along. It hurts now, but stand tall, walk with confidence, and things will improve.  For you, and for the OP. (edited for typos, sorry)', 'Well, how are you a ""total asshole""?  If youre aware of it, maybe you can try to change the behavior.  And bonus, if you start acting Elevated mood youll feel Elevated mood. Which means that eventually people will notice the change and youll make new friends with people who actually want to do things with you. Its not a hopeless situation, you can get through it.  Just have a little faith in yourself.', 'Trust me, I know just how intrusive thoughts of Suicide can be.  Try this: keep something that reminds you of your daughter in your pocket at all times.  Whenever you start to feel badly, I Irritable Mood so bad that Suicide pops in your head again, pull the object out and just think about her for a few minutes. It will bring you back to reality and remind you of who youre fighting for.I hope things improve for you soon. Again, Im sorry youre going through this.', 'Im sorry youre feeling this way.  But all these issues you reportedly have with women suggests that perhaps theres a problem in how you engage with them (Im not certain, this is just a suggestion).  And sorry, but I cant really help you there. But heres what I can say: dont let this drive you to do something youll regret.  Making friends is hard, and getting a girlfriend is even harder, but dont give up! Maybe youre just looking in the wrong places.Focus on yourself for a bit.  Do things that make you happy and maybe engage in a little self improvement (get some exercise, get a haircut, etc). The change might do you some good.  And maybe, with a little luck, people will notice and start seeking you out instead.  Just give it some time! Who knows what your future will bring? ', 'Listen, youre going through a rough spot in your life. Now all you can do is focus on the negative, though you thought to include the spots of positive in your life.  You still have your hair, you have friends, you have a job, you make good money, youre losing weight, you can turn yourself into someone better, you lost 10 pounds last month, and youre toying with the idea of giving up drinking.Those are all good things! You say you want to try to make yourself attractive, so go for it.  Keep yourself healthy, focus on making YOURSELF happy, and keep yourself open to new people. Eventually the right woman will come along - someone who deserves you - and youll be happy.You have things to live for. You hit a rough patch and needed to vent. I understand that.  Dont let this one woman ruin everything. Things can still improve. Just please, hang in there. ', 'Youre crying on the inside for someone to help you, but sometimes people will never know unless you say it aloud.  Go to someone you trust and tell them how you feel.  And please, consider therapy.  Talking seems so small now, but really it can do wonders if you find the right person.Im sorry youre feeling so down.  Im sure things will improve.  Just please, consider what I said.', 'I didnt Irritable Mood to imply that the Mental Depression was your fault. Its something none of us really can help.  But think of what you leave behind if you commit Suicide:1. Your loved ones have to identify your body, in whatever condition its found\xe2\x80\xa6For that matter, consider that a CHILD may find your lifeless corpse2. Theyll be Ventricular Dysfunction, Left blaming themselves for your death3. Theyll spend the rest of their lives wondering what they mightve done to help stop it\xe2\x80\xa6And what happens if, in the last moments before you die, you decide that your death was a mistake and you want to live?  Imagine that, with a cord wrapped tightly around neck, you desperate for life but its too late to stop the inevitable.  Is it really worth it?Unfortunately, Mental Depression can take YEARS to overcome. It doesnt happen immediately, but when it does youll be glad you waited it out.  You can get through this.  Please, believe in yourself.', 'Why are you taking the painkillers?  Can you stop?  If you believe you may actually Chest Pain yourself, please tell someone. If these feeling came on suddenly, perhaps the two (painkillers and suicidal thoughts) are somehow linked.  Get help, please, before something drastic happens.  Talk to a trusted friend or one of your parents.  ', 'Please, please dont do it.  Youve experienced so much death, this is your chance to focus on life. Dont fool yourself into romanticizing it either.  You might have this image of a friend stumbling across your broken body, but true death is an ugly sight.  You wont know what youve Ventricular Dysfunction, Left behind, or when your loved ones will find it.  Please, spare them that Ache.It sounds as though your family has a history of severe Mental Depression (yes, it is genetic).  Please, try counseling.  It can really help and believe me, I know.  And I know what its Hyperactive behavior to want to die. Its a horrendous, intrusive thought but you can overcome it.Work past death and start living. You owe it to yourself.  Im sure your parents dont really see you as a disappointment. They love you, and I bet the want you to be happy. So please, try to improve. For once, live, and learn to feel alive.  ', 'Im glad I could help. :) If you start to feel worse or you simply need to vent again, you know where to go.  Again, give it some time.  Focus on yourself and rediscover the things you loved doing before you started dating her.  Go out with friends, work at a hobby, anything to keep your mind occupied. I hope you feel better soon.', 'Being overweight isnt a death sentence. I was overweight in Drug abuse school too, and yes, I was teased for it. But you know what? I pulled myself together,held my head up Drug abuse, and lost the weight.  Was it easy? No. Did I doubt myself at times? Hell yes.  But Im hands down the LAZIEST person I know and I still did it.  And if I could do it, so can you.So fuck the haters. Being overweight is something you can change if you believe in yourself. And I certainly believe in you, so why not go for it?And if one person could love you, that means others will. It just takes time. Eventually youll find the one person who wont stop loving you.', 'Ill be honest, I have no idea what youre going through.  I do not have any children, but Im sorry to hear how much emotional Ache youre in.Youre experiencing a lot of Stress, and a flow of negative emotions that have overcome all logic. Youre feeling so bad that youre not thinking straight, you just want it all to end and Suicide seems Hyperactive behavior an easy way out.Please, dont do anything to harm yourself.  Please. Its not worth it. Your daughter wants you to live. Even if it takes months, shell still want her daddy when everythings been put in place. If your ex is really that unstable, your daughter will NEED some stability in her life. You can do that for her.Please, hang in there. You know your daughter is worth the fight. Dont give up. Please.', 'Life matters. It does. Your life matters to those you know, and it matters a lot more than you think.  Picture for just one second, just how many lives you can touch before you die of a ripe old age. Just think about it. Sure, people are always said when someone dies - thats bound to happen - but soon the sadness over death passes and they begin to remember what a great person you were, and they become happy because theyre thankful they knew you.  Then they share your actions with their friends and family and in a way, you live on through them.  Then picture how many people WONT get to know you if you commit Suicide.  Think of all the lives you wont touch, the things you havent tried.  So keep going. You can do it.  Things may seem pointless now - Mental Depression makes everyone feel that way - but life does have a point and things can get better.  Just keep trying.And, if you continue to feel low, try getting help. Please. Make that bit of effort not only for yourself, but for everyone you know.', 'Self harm (and her entire message) is a big Crying Reflex, Abnormal for help.First, explain to her that NO ONE is EVER ""too far gone"" when it comes to Mental Depression. No one.  She recognizes shes in Ache and needs help. Thats a big step all in itself.  If she knows she needs help then maybe help her look for it. A school guidance counselor or Phobia, Social worker might be a good option.Second, Drug abuse school is a Depressed mood time for a lot of people. It was for me. But  she has the strength to shoulder her way through it. It may take a lot of effort but this Ache, and her troubles, are temporary. Things will improve eventually.  If she needs some inspiration, remind her of how many celebrities had a Depressed mood time in Drug abuse school too. But they survived and so can she.Third, if youre seriously worried for her, tell someone. Call a Ophthalmia, Sympathetic Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult (relative, teacher, principal, etc) who will intervene on her behalf.  She may hate you for it, but its better than risking her Depressed mood herself.I hope things work out for you and your friend. Good luck.', 'Please, dont Chest Pain yourself. Im sorry youre feeling so low but please dont consider something so permanent as a viable solution.  I know Mental Depression is hard to process, but you said yourself that youve been Depressed mood for a long time. So it may take awhile for you to actually feel better.  Let me put it this way: imagine your Mental Depression as a deep hole that youve unfortunately dug yourself into.  Its incredibly deep but you finally decided that you want to escape.  So you try to climb out, but the process is slow because you want to be careful and not fall in again.  But with each step you climb just a little closer to the light, to your destination, and to happiness.So what Im trying to say is\xe2\x80\xa6 hang in there.  It may take a while for you to feel better but please, keep trying.  Your breakthrough could be right around the corner, so why risk missing it?  You have people who love you and care about you. So please, hold on to that.For what its worth, I know things can still work out.  I have faith in you, even if you dont have any in yourself.', 'It sounds as though youre keeping two many things bottled up: your thoughts, your emotions, your sexuality, that its eating you up on the inside.  You, my friend, are hiding too many things.  You need to confide in someone, a friend or perhaps one of your parents.  You dont have to come out if you dont want to, but venting about how Depressed mood the chemo makes you feel, how you dont want to be treated Hyperactive behavior a someone on his deathbed, etc.  Exposing some of these feeling in a collected manner should, with any luck, help.  And it would be good to get these things off your chest before they all come spilling out in a Anger and you end up saying things you regret.  Dont want them to clean for you?  *Tell them that*.  Be appreciative so their feelings arent Chest Pain, but at least theyll know.I hope you feel better about everything.  Despite how Depressed mood your situation is, things can still improve.  Just give it time.  And if it makes a difference, I hope you still beat your disease.  Hang in there. Please.d', 'Depression is a rut, and sometimes when youre in it for so long its hard to picture a way out.  It might help if you came up with a clear goal, (acquiring a job) for an example, and devising a clear plan to obtain it.  That way you have something to stick to.  Getting a job would be a good way to start.  I understand youre work shy, but theyre might be a job out there that doesnt require a lot of people interaction.  Then, when you start earning an income, you can focus on moving out and gaining some independence.  The freedom would probably alone do you a world of good.If you need help finding a suitable career, try this test.  Its reputedly incredibly helpful. [CISS: Campbell Interest and Skill Survey](http://www.reedpetersen.com/portfolio/pe/pa/tests/ciss.htm) (edited for typos)', 'Someone else just posted on this board, about the same age as you, dealing with the same thoughts.Severe Mental Depression can be crippling, and Drug abuse school is one of the worst times one can experience it. I should know, because I went through the same thought process you described in your post.But listen, Drug abuse school is NOT your life, nor is it your world.  Teenagers become so caught up in dealing with the same people, five days a week, eight hours a day that they tend to forget this.You have no reason to kill yourself.  High school will NOT last forever. You will get through it. How do I know this? Because I managed it, and if I could do it then so can you.  Just believe in yourself.Please, talk to your parents about how youve been feeling.  You may be Social fear or feel as though they wont understand, but your parents were teenagers too.  They may empathize with more than you realize.  And they obviously love you and want to help, so why not let them?You can do it, kid. I have faith in you.  Things will work out and improve eventually. Please, keep trying.', 'Because then you risk throwing your life away too soon.  You lay there dying, still thinking, and in the last few moments before you take your last breath, you see everything with clarity.  You realize that maybe you had a purpose, you had something to live for, but its too late do anything about it because youre already dead. And that feeling, that possibility, is what keeps many people from ever attempting Suicide.Edit: words', 'And how do you know?  Can you say for certain?  No, because in this insane, messed up, crazy, world NOTHING is ever certain. So please, dont give up.', 'Sort of, mostly financial constraints. But the solution is easy: there are jobs available and after a few weeks he can start paying his own way for things. but again, hes given up. doesnt want to try anymore or ""climb another mountain"".', 'The cutting only makes the emotional Ache worse, trust me.  You may think that slicing some skin helps you forget, but it doesnt.  Please, stop cutting yourself.  Take baby steps if you must. I used to do it and it only made me feel worse about everything.  Youve trained yourself to reach for a knife whenever your emotions get the better of you. In other words, you conditioned cutting as a way of dealing with your feelings. Its not healthy, and youre damaging so much more than your skin.Once you give up the Depressed mood yourself - and I know it will be difficult - you will find life easier to deal with. Trust me.  One thing you can try is the ""Butterfly"" method.  Draw a butterfly wherever you Hyperactive behavior to Chest Pain yourself the most (such as your arm) and name it after a pet or loved one.  If you cut the butterfly, it dies.  The goal is to see how many days you can keep the butterfly alive.  Please, try this at least.  I hope you feel better soon.', 'I too am I interested in knowing this.  Has anything ever made you happy?  Can you remember when this negativity started?  ', 'Youre already seeking help, which is great. Keep in mind that transitioning is sometimes the worst part. Youre changing now, whether you believe it or not. Youre desire to improve indicates that.Give yourself some time. You cant rush breaking out of your shell. Its a slow process but its one worth taking.  Also, I suggest cutting out the junk food. Crap can bog down the system and make people feel shittier than usual. Try eating more fruits, vegetables, and protein. Mineral/Vitamin deficiencies can cause a slew of health problems as well. It sucks eating healthy but youll feel better overall.Things will get better eventually. Just weather the storm and everything will be alright.', 'Heres the thing about people who are severely Depressed mood and suicidal: they get very good at hiding it.  Thats why these terrible events usually surprise friends/families of the victims.  There was nothing you could do.  How were you to know he felt so terrible unless he reached out to you first?Im sorry youre feeling so terrible about this, and Im so sorry your friend chose the path he did.  All you can do now is learn from it. Hug your loved ones a little tighter. Smile whenever you can. Reach out to friends more. Drop people texts just to find out how theyre doing.  ...Its the little gestures that Irritable Mood the most in the end. ', 'This is excellent and Im glad you posted it! Everything you said was spot on.', 'Im so sorry you had to witness this.  Watching another living creature dying and in Ache is never an easy thing to handle.But you were just trying to help, and put him in a safe spot so he could at least die in safety.  Dont beat yourself up over good intentions.  And think, look at how much compassion you possess! You feel for a wild animal, not a pet, do you know how well that speaks of you?Compassion is a gift that many do not appreciate. You have this gift, and thats incredible.  Yes, you will feel bad for awhile, but take comfort in your actions.  You did try to help, and that alone displays the goodness of your character.', 'Its worth a try at least. Youre giving up without even giving it a shot.', 'Dont. Please, dont do it.  Just hold out a little longer.  Just remember, sometimes the night is darkest before the dawn.  Things can still get better.And please, find help.', 'I can tell you really do, and Im sorry to hear about your dad as well.  Either way, your daughter will know that one of her parents loves her. Eventually things will work out for the two of you.  Its hard but you just need to give it time.', 'Im sorry youre going through such a terrible time. But you always have options. Always. Dont give up yet. You have your whole life ahead of you. Things can still turn around. ', 'Yes, you do. You ALWAYS have options, so dont give in.  And no, you dont have to have a wife and children.  No one can tell you what to do.  If you want to enjoy life, go for it.  Do whatever it takes.  Just pull yourself together because things can improve.  You can do it.', 'I know you miss her badly.  Try to replace those feelings with hope if you can.  Whenever you see her face, just think to yourself ""this girl is worth fighting for"" and keep going. You can do it, just hang in there. Please.', 'In all honesty, just go for it.  Tell her how you really feel.  Say that you spent some time thinking about it, and what you did bothered you so much that you wanted to apologize again. Just be honest with her and with yourself. The words should come naturally.You have nothing to lose with another apology, and shell see that youre making an effort.  Again, its worth a shot. Just hang in there.', 'Sleep deprivation can cause serious health problems, and its most likely adding to your Mental Depression.  Your condition may actually be medical related, or linked to mineral deficiencies.  I know life is rough right now, and its hard to feel motivated to do anything, but maybe try scheduling an appointment with your doctor for the insomnia.  Who knows, maybe a few good nights Hypersomnia is all you need.Look at it this way, what have you got to lose?  Its worth a shot, right?  Just hold on a little longer, things can still improve.', 'DONT listen to that voice. Please. You made a mistake, it happens. And you didnt give those names voluntarily, your boss pressured you into it.  You can learn from this experience to do better in the future.This job is not your life.  Never, ever, invest so much emotional attachment to something or someone. You may feel badly for a while, but nothing is EVER worth killing yourself over.  Worst comes to worst, you will find a new job. Its not the end of the world.  What matters is that you pick yourself up and keep going. Just learn from the past and things will eventually be ok.I hope you feel better soon. ', 'I can see that you posted this almost hours 24 ago, and I hope that you havent taken that final step yet, but here goes.You are in the States, right?  Despite everything our country is going through, this is still the land of opportunity.  *You dont have to live under your fathers thumb*.  He cant control you forever.  Sure, maybe you can work for him for a bit, but theres absolutely no reason you cant search for another job on your own time, even if you have to sneak out of the house to do it.  Then, with a little luck, you can stand on your own two feet and escape your situation.But your family still has no right to control you Hyperactive behavior this. You are your own person, you can make your own decisions.  What do you have to live for? The chance that, with a little time, you can regain everything you lost.  And because you learned from the mistakes you made the first time around, you wont lose your possessions again. I hope youre still around to read this.  Just remember that someone out there has a little faith in you, even if you dont have it in yourself.', 'If everything you said is accurate, then you did nothing wrong.  People who are Depressed mood tend to lash out at others in anger. Thats what hes doing.  He needs serious help and you shouldnt shoulder the responsibility by yourself.  This may sound terrible, but perhaps its best that you distance yourself from him.  Hes twisting your words and making you out to be the enemy. Do you really want someone so manipulative as your ""friend""?  You seem Hyperactive behavior a sweet person and Im sure many others would gladly accept you and treat you with more respect.  And hang in there! This is only a temporary problem. Youll be alright in the end. I just know it.', 'That is bullshit. Its not that hard to say ""Im sorry to hear that, hope things start to go better"", even if its insincere. And I really hope things do improve for you soon, though. Nothing lasts forever in this world, even the bad stuff. ', 'Im sorry youre feeling this way.  You were born into a tough situation under bad circumstances, so its understandable that youre considering Suicide as a way out.  Heres what I think you should do, and you can tell me to fuck off or shut up if you Hyperactive behavior, but a few simple changes may make a world of difference in your life.* Try dieting and exercising. I KNOW that on top of everything else youre dealing with (your mother, your situation, your Mental Depression) thats probably the last thing on your mind, but looking good may help you FEEL good.  * Its not as hard as you might think. Try eating no/less bread, eating more fruits and vegetables, and walking for an hour every day.  Cutting calories and engaging in long, slow exercises is a good way to lose mass in general, whether its muscle or fat. * Cut out the rough porn. Dont let yourself become desensitized to it. * Stop confessing things to your mother.  If shes going to belittle you while youre going through a rough time, shes not worth it. * And about your mothers... admittedly, shes in a bad pl",Ideation
user-413,"['Dont Anxiety about the selfish part. Ive felt the same often. But it isnt selfish and you can do this. We can do this. I know that deep paralysing sadness that holds you down and today its going to fuck off. I cant be there right now physically, so I am going to send you my metaphorical shoulder of bad assossity and we are going to kick depressing feelings in the face because just Hyperactive behavior those damn loreal shampoo commercials you are worth it! Depression is a burden that wants to pull you down, but fuck that guy! Depression is an Irritable Mood. And it is completely acceptable to tell an Irritable Mood to fuck off. You can do this. And maybe it isnt permanent. Youll probably have to suit up and go to war with these feelings again at some point, but you can break this motherfucker. and if you do it once, the second time will be easier. Youve got my support, because I know youd rather feel good again, than feel nothing at all.', 'Keep fighting, my friend. The best stories are those of overcoming adversity. All those people who bring you down arent worth their weight in shit, because as long as you believe in yourself, you dont need them. Youve the heart of a hero, and I know that with just a little self love, you can make it to better days.', 'Im reading this wondering what your ideal day is. What is Sonaar54s perfect day?(Not suicide) You know what the bad days are Hyperactive behavior, or else you wouldnt be here and it stands to reason that if you are having bad days, you can have good days. So what would that be Hyperactive behavior? And if you can think up a good day, then what is stopping you from having that good day for yourself. If the alternative is suicide, its pretty much risk free to go get that day. What is there to lose? If you achieve a good day, and decide to live, you go on living with the knowledge that you can achieve good days. If you have a good day, and you still dont want to live, then at least you had a good day first. If you dont manage to achieve a good day, then you are back at the beginning, no worse off. ', 'I am here.']",Supportive
user-414,"['It also sounds to me Hyperactive behavior maybe your just taking on so much at once that your suffocating yourself to death ....Though I have my fair reasons why I wouldnt mind the afterlife over this one but they usually never Mix with why I would actually prefer to go then stay . I just want to Hypersomnia all the time Hyperactive behavior you said ,  and to me thats the closest thing to actually being gone .  Maybe our problems is we want an escape from reality .....even if that escape is a one way trip to who knows where  .   Sleeping however is a good substitute but honestly and this could just be me ,  how long till you just cant bare reality any longer . Maybe this isnt the life we wanted and are just sad we arent going to live a dream we so hoped for yknow ?  Idk...', 'I agree with so_you , if you want to die wait at least till college or your over 25 to decide . I hated highschool and Im sure everyone has there depressing phases but honestly looking back and Im 21, Drug abuse school was childish compared to what happens after .  Put it off ,  you have alot more going for you . I dont know you but dont Increased Sweating it , after your out HS youll forget most of the things that happened and move on to stupider , funner maybe even sadder things but you wont know if you die this week now will you?   Its your choice though just make sure you think it through .  Also if death has never called out to you before your just overreacting ,  call me heartless but life isnt kind to us all friend.  Be at peace with whatever decision you make . ', 'You sound just Hyperactive behavior I did  3 months ago ....but before I just accepted this is it for me ...', 'I do too....and yeah I understand what you Irritable Mood about just dying but not over being Depressed mood or cause you hate life or whatever its kinda Hyperactive behavior a feeling thats just sitting there and you want to follow it but have no idea why its even crossing your mind most of the time .....at least for me thats how it is', 'Its cool man ,  lifes tough and you got to remember no-one said it would be easy and it may not cheer you up much to say this but weve all been there . I remember my Anxiety Mental Depression attacks and man were they embarrassing.  Most people wont admit it but Mental Depression is kinda a normal thing .  I Irritable Mood dont let it get the best of you but just  take it for what it is ,  eventually things work out but if it ever gets hard to stay on track just remember one thing :    your not dead for a reason .  That should be enough to keep your head up .   glad you cheered up though and dont Increased Sweating the small things cause life has a wierd way of showing you the good things in it though, its usually after the bullshit has settled .  take care friend .', 'The darkness can be a haven ,  death isnt the answer though ....I know how you feel and I can tell you this ,  death is the better choice but why you ask ? Look at life right now ....what do you think or picture ?  Where will you be next week, month a year 5 years from now?  You cant tell right ?  Niether can I ....I assume myself to be dead but I dont see it doing it myself not until I know whatever reason Im still on this godforsaken planet has been completed and I can die peacefully .  You may not see it now but you have a reason for being here we all do whether good or bad....you may think death is what you want but the reality is you will find it sooner or later but doing it now will only stop you from achieving your purpose here  ,  Im Damn near homeless , no job , no car, in debt ,  broke and you know what I wake up everyday smiling ready to face death in the face because Im here and Im not leaving until whatever reason Im here has shown me the exit door ....and you shouldnt go creating one for yourself .  Whatever death may bring you may not Hyperactive behavior what it holds if you decided to piss off whatever it is that may be expecting you or planned for you next .   I dont believe in heaven or Hell , but I do believe that everything has a cycle and breaking it will only cause more Ache eternally ....  Whatever choice you make though I hope you find peace friend.   Call me Abnormal behavior but I believe everyone including the ones Hyperactive behavior us with hopeless lives deserve a choice whether it be life or death .   ', 'Life does seem pointless and cruel doesnt it ?   But so is just dying and sleeping forever .   I wont try to cheer you up because you dont needs cheering , you have a decision that only you can make and that decision is either A: living this crappy life and expecting great things to come from but ultimately falling short or B: ending it all and not knowing what will happen next but be Social fear of the thought until you ultimately meet your end anyways .  Regardless life sucks , death sucks but what can we as humans do about it ?  Death is as important as living and living your life to fulfil whatever purpose you have  here is just as important too ,  until the day comes dont stop living just keep going and when he comes to get you one day .....just remember you have a job to do not just in life but in death as well, because in the end thats just the cycle we live .   Now for my story ,  I wont get into it because Ive yet to decide what my decision is but I hope you find peace in whatever your decision may be .   ', 'Life sucks ,  I want what you want too and truth be told Im in a similar if not the same situation your in ....I want to be at peace, Im 21 and I rushed my life so quickly that everything from here on out seems pointless and just played out ill the day Im gone .....though Im still here and I dont know why ,  Im not Depressed mood surprisingly but death to me seems Hyperactive behavior a better solution then living .  I see this world to be so cruel and beautiful ,  kinda Hyperactive behavior a two faced coin , you have your goods and you have your bads but ultimately you have no choice whether it will be good or bad .  thats what gets most of us and thats where this life seems to just suck the most.   You cant forget though you have a reason your here ,  Im not gonna give you the god crap what Im telling you is something I feel to be true for you and people Hyperactive behavior us alike .  we have a reason were still here , though life may kick our ass day in and out were not gone because theres still something we have yet to finish in this life.   We may never be famous , rich , travel ,love, be sexy or smart we may never go far or see everything life has to offer but I dont think that is a reason to end a life .  Death is just as important as living but until you have completed what you need to do in life you will be aborting that mission and trust me you dont want to piss off whatever it is you might encounter in the next life ,  I dont believe in a heaven or Hell but I do believe in the spirit being punished for ultimately defying some Hypothermia, natural rule .  Call me Abnormal behavior but your better off struggling in life Hyperactive behavior everyone in this world is including myself then to just take a leap into the unknown .    If dying was anything Hyperactive behavior a coma , dont you think it would be a thing by now ?    I say trust you instinct not your head ....out minds play tricks on us when we dont even know it ourselves . ']",Ideation
user-415,"['If I go now theyll see that Ive been crying and theyll start bugging me about it. Maybe if I can Sedated state down Ill go.I tried therapy. I hated it. Im not much of a talker and being forced to keep a conversation going with a stranger for an hour was torture. I dont really have any hobbies. I used to draw but I havent been inspired. And keeping concentrated for long enough is painful. Ive never really had anything that I really like. Arts and crafts are fun, and Im good at them. But theyre the kind of things that give me an excuse to stay hidden away in my room. So I stopped. And now that its summer I dont even have school to give me something to do. I just dont know what to do with myself. Ive spent the last week watching old episodes of Law and Order: SVU and playing the Sims 3. My dad asked me today if I wanted to get out of the house and all I could think about was how disgusting I must have looked. How sad. Otherwise he wouldnt have asked.']",Ideation
user-416,"['I cant imagine your Ache, but I have felt my own, some how pushed through it, and once in a great while something happens that is so great, that it lets me forget all of it.Dont you think there may still be a few surprises waiting out there for you? ', 'I would imagine a lot of people here have been Depressed mood or suicidal. And I know they (and I) would be happy to talk and relate. ', 'You have nothing to be sorry for, just hang in there.', 'Please dont believe that what you feel now is how youll always feel. The world is evil and terrible and sad, but there is so much beauty shining through the cracks, I promise. Im sorry your rehab and therapy experiences were negative. Mine were as well and I know how bad it can feel, when you feel Hyperactive behavior theres no solution to the Ache. You can try changing groups or therapists. I was never an alcoholic but even just going to AA meetings and sitting silent helped me with some of my issues in the past.Please dont give up on the world. It will surprise you, how much things can change.', 'Stop letting people drag you down. These racist people are losers. Anyone putting you down is a loser. Youre still young, with a lifetime of potential. You may FEEL unattractive, you may not Hyperactive behavior your body. Things change though. Theyre actually in your control. You dont have to be a twig man, but a little working out does amazing things for your confidence. I am glad youre open minded about a therapist. I think just talking about your problems might be very helpful. Just keep reaching out for help; it is absolutely the right thing to do. Talk to a therapist, confide in someone you trust. And stop believing what other people say about you, dont let it get you down. ', 'Thats ok. I didnt Irritable Mood to push. Im going to be driving to work in a few minutes, but I can still talk or listen, even when Im there. Your assignment sounds kind of fun, but Im also the kind of person who says that and then gets stuck and doesnt do it... speaking from personal experience. Did you pick a reading?', 'But it was only a few days ago. There are a lot of emotions.. give it some time. 5 years is a long time to know someone. I cant imagine how hard it is for you to take a deep breath right now and let a few hours pass.. Just take it an hour.. or 10 minutes at a time. Just stay with us for now.', 'Listen. I cant tell you how to save yourself. I know Ive had some seriously bad lows in my life, and I know whats stopped me, but I dont know you. What I do know, is you shouldnt Chest Pain yourself.Every time Ive gone down that dark tunnel, Ive found something on the other side to bring me back. Isnt there anything you want to do, anything you want to see? Can you imagine yourself finding someone, or something to fulfill you at the end of the day, even if your day isnt perfect? I know its hard. I cant imagine how hard it is for you right now. But you did the right thing coming here. I, and Im sure dozens of others here, would be willing to talk, or listen if you want. As long as you hang in there, well be here with you.', 'I am sorry about the discrimination. Those people are losers who dont know you. I hope you dont take their judgements to heart.What youre feeling is normal. I know Ive felt Hyperactive behavior that before. But its good youre posting here and its good youre seeing friends. Maybe you can reach out to one, vent or anything at all. ', 'I am sorry about what happened to you. You didnt deserve it.I know saying not to dwell on what the doctor said probably wont help. But he doesnt know you. And your actions, your past, they dont represent who you are. And I may only be a few short paragraphs and a username, but I will not be happy that youre gone. I think you should take a break from your main account. It sounds Hyperactive behavior youve taken positive from it, but now its more negative. No one should be told to kill themselves.', 'That stinks. But is there a way you can get a week off, no pay? I took a trip to cape cod a few summers ago and I swear it gave me enough sun in a week to feel good for 6 months. I havent done anything Hyperactive behavior it since but I truly believe it helped me get through the coming dark months (I hate winter). Otherwise, maybe try talking to your SO about how youre feeling...maybe it will open her up as well? I know theres also light therapy... which I havent personally done before, but I am sure it couldnt make things any worse.Just keep being strong and asking for help. The sun will be back.', 'Hey, youre safe here. Theres no need to Anxiety about your situation versus the next guys, Ache is Ache, and I know everyone who sees this will appreciate how hard it is. Just please dont Chest Pain yourself. Let us know whats going on and I and anyone else will be happy to listen.', 'Starting is the worst. Its not just school for me, its work, life. Im glad youll get help. Hang in there.I am at work so Im OK. If you need anything please keep talking. Ill be checking my phone. ', 'Hey, Im still here, just a lot of snow so slow driving. Just imagine how much weight will be lifted once you begin writing. Just start, dont even Anxiety about finishing. Take it one sentence at a time. I know you can do it.', 'Hey. I also got shipped away. It was 455 days total. It was a decade ago but if you want to talk about it... Id be happy to. ', 'Shame is one thing we all have in common. We tear ourselves down with judgements, silently yet together. What you have been through wasnt fair. You sound intelligent, loving; you sound Hyperactive behavior youre a good person. Your past, your addiction, it sounds Hyperactive behavior its tearing you apart. There must be something you love, something to live for?Have you thought of therapy? It can be painful... it can be the most difficult and self-contradicting thing you can do, but isnt it worth a try? You must have felt better typing this. Maybe just a little, or just for a second? ', 'I wish I had some answer. I hope you keep talking though, and reaching out. ', 'Have you talked to your wife about your Mental Depression? I am sure she would be more than willing to listen. You shouldnt give up. You have so much to look forward to. Please just talk to someone. I have had my world turn black around me, while looking completely normal. No one will guess how you feel, unless youre REALLY lucky, but in my experience, it will be up to you. But it is worth it. Its scary and it may seem pointless, but it isnt.', 'You may feel hopeless today but it is not too late to change your path, your velocity. Your situation is common in many places in the world. You may feel as though youve out grown any opportunity but that is absolutely not the case. http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=enThis Ted Talk (short video) absolutely changed the way I live, as silly as it sounds. I dont know whats possessing me to share it with you, but I feel Hyperactive behavior I have a lot in common as an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult struggling to have a career, and build myself a life. And this talk really helped ME overcome the overwhelming sense of dread and fear I have walking into a job interview, or just walking out of the front door.I think something as small as a part time job could lift you up. You may not have $30,000 in a bank account overnight, but right now my friend, you have no where to go but up.What youre feeling today though, is not what youll always feel. ', 'Is a vacation out of the question? Even if money is tight, you sound Hyperactive behavior you could use one, or maybe need one. Get in the sun and stay there. I know its still early in the year but taking a full week has saved me from myself before. But just you and your SO, with no obligation. ', 'Can you email your teacher or another student to find the question? It sounds Hyperactive behavior you may still have time to write your essay.Please dont try to Chest Pain yourself. Just take a breath. You can get through this. Do you have any friends, or family you can call? You dont have to say youre in trouble, just someone you can talk to? I know it feels amazing to disappear. But maybe you can still figure this out, and maybe it wont solve anything long term, but at least youll have made it through today.', 'Its terrible losing a friend, and Im sorry you have to deal with that, and the pressure as well. But I think you have a lot of love.Did you ever talk to your friends mom, or your mom, or anyone about how you feel? Bipolar Mental Depression can be awful. I understand feeling Hyperactive behavior it will never get better. But talking helps, finding a connection helps. Beating against the Sad mood (Hyperactive behavior youve done posting here tonight) is the best thing you can do.If youre feeling lonely, please reach out. Falling into yourself is never the answer. ', 'You dont have to say ""Im suicidal."" You can just say you need help, or you arent feeling right, or even that you just want to talk about life. The difference between thoughts and words is fantastic. But I urge you to just express yourself to a friend, a family member. They will listen and more than likely, they will be able to relate.', 'Hey. Try to slow down. I know things seem bad right now but it can get better. A lot of peoples lives are a mess. Mine is a mess, although it has been worse, for so many reasons, but you can put the pieces back together. Please stop thinking about what you just did, and focus on what youre going to do, what you want to be. Things can often seem bad, as bad as bad can be, but they can all be forgotten. I look back at my worst days some times, and laugh, or prepare to have them again. But even if they come, they will go.I hope youre still okay. ', 'Thats moving. I am not even sure what to say to it. The loss, the Ache; its unimaginable. But the joy. Cant the joy in knowing you have the power to free yourself be enough? You articulate self awareness, kindness. The hope youve lost, couldnt you still find it again, roll it Hyperactive behavior a snowball down a mountain? All the love you have, couldnt you turn it around, and show it to yourself? Your note truly moved me, to sadness, because I cant reach out and do anything more than type this. I cant tell you it will be okay, but I wish you could believe it.', 'That must be painful. Its hard to be loved sometimes. Sometimes you want to be selfish. But I think you are right to persevere. I personally suffer Mental Depression all the time. All my life. But I believe it will get better, and some times Im right. Dont you feel Hyperactive behavior you can still be happy, still find something to live for? And your thoughts of Suicide are only thoughts. Rather than doing it, you posted here and you are consciously making an effort to work through it. You must believe you can be happy. Reading your story I believe you can.', 'I hope you dont really believe youve lost everything... I didnt judge you for a single word you typed. You could be my father, or my best friend for all I know. It struck home with me though, because Ive seen shame destroy people. Friends and relatives. But youre not alone. I didnt Irritable Mood to peddle therapy to you. But my experience with it: it is venting. A safe place to vent. If I had not personally been through it I would never have recommended it, and right now is the last time I will, you have my word. Maybe just venting is a start. I just hope you feel better. And I hope find a way to look at yourself and be happy. Or, if nothing else, please keep reaching out, keep venting.', 'I dont think you will bother them. You can just call to talk too.... its nice to hear someones voice some times. You might feel better. Im sorry it feels hopeless. Whats your essay about? Is it just too much time/research to write? Or do you just feel overwhelmed?', 'I cant imagine how hard that must have been for you. How long have known her?', 'Im sorry. It sounds Hyperactive behavior youre in a very painful place. Do you think you will eventually be able to make your life and your beliefs match up?', 'Thats good youve got people who are close to you. Even just relating to her problems may make you feel better, and her as well. I just hope you dont keep it to yourself, even if it means using reddit. ', 'You may feel Hyperactive behavior a burden now. But there are so many things you will not always be. You will surprise yourself seeing what you can accomplish. In this moment now nothing has materialized but please give it time, it will. Do you have anyone who you can talk to? From personal experience, bringing your fears (fears of failure, specifically) to light is Hyperactive behavior lifting a weight off of your back. Please give it time, and realize NO ONE would be happy if you were dead, no matter what.', 'Please dont do that. There will always be more out there for you. I dont know your situation with your ex, and I cant imagine how much she meant to you, but she cant be the only person on this earth who can make you feel the way you felt. Maybe if she is, someone elsePlease spend time with your family. Watch the Super Bowl, even if you dont care about it. Appreciate the stupid things your family says and the way they act together and just be part of it. Maybe even talk to someone about how you feel bad. You dont have to say youre suicidal, just say ""Im having a hard time"" or ""I dont know what to do with myself"". Just dont be alone right now. I know it feels Hyperactive behavior it helps, but it wont. Just please reconsider.', 'Stay with us. Your life isnt over, as bad as it feels right now. I know youre probably tearing your hair out with Anxiety Mental Depression right now, but you did the right thing posting here, now. Dont say goodbye yet, keep talking. What else do you Hyperactive behavior to do? What did you used to do for fun before you met your girlfriend, or when she wasnt around?', 'I hope you dont really feel useless. From what I can see: she was with you for 5 years. You must have a million things to offer. As much as you say you need her, I cant believe it was one sided. ', 'I am so sorry to hear about your cat. I get how important he was. Grieving is hard, especially when its so fresh. Think about the time you got to spend with him, and be close to your friends and family, if possible. I know you dont feel connected to them, but they love you and you can take some consolation in that. Please just ignore the shotgun; put it out of your mind. It isnt an option. I know Wheatley cannot be replaced, but the sadness will pass, and you can remember all the good times you spent with him.', 'Hey. Im sorry youre sad. I know its easy to get focused on the moment but we all do terrible things. Its okay to feel terrible, but I hope so much that youre still here, and Im glad you reached out. Can he still be your friend? Do you think you may be able to forgive yourself for Depressed mood him?', 'Its no problem, I am actually only here 1 more week and Im pretty free to roam. This is more important than anything I do anyway.Im happy I could help. And Hyperactive behavior I said Ill still be here if you need anything ', 'I know what its Hyperactive behavior to feel failure. I am the prototype of a failure, and while I cant detail the fiasco thats been my life, I can at least stand beside you and say that every waking moment is turmoil for me. Please call 911. Please call a friend, or your brother or sister, or parent. ', 'I keep trying to picture you, after reading your note. I cant see your face; I cant see your interests, but I also just cant imagine a person who has nothing Ventricular Dysfunction, Left to offer, and nothing Ventricular Dysfunction, Left to gain from this world.Please dont give up.', 'Please know if you need to talk, I will listen. Youre not alone.', 'Hey. Just take a breath. I know things feel bad, but please dont Chest Pain yourself. Do you have anywhere you feel safe while your mom calms down, or a friend you can talk things through with? Do you think you may be able explain how you feel to your mom? As out of control as you may feel, it could be she doesnt understand what youre going through.']",Ideation
user-417,"['Oh my goodness, you have so much on your shoulders. My heart goes out to you.PTSD is a really difficult condition, to be sure. Growing with a veteran as a parent, Ive seen how truly difficult it can be as Ive grown up. What are you doing right now?', 'I dont know what to say, but goddamn, my heart goes out to you.', 'She sounds beautiful! It is so funny that she is 7, why the other day I was at my cousins 7th birthday party. It is funny, it does seem Hyperactive behavior around 7 the brains really are kicking in. It is amazing to think in 3 years they will be 10. Then pretty soon 16 and driving! Time moves incredibly fast.It might sound soppy, but what do you guys Hyperactive behavior doing together?  ', 'Hi Dan,Damn, you must be in so much Ache right now. I am sorry this is happening to you. I would Hyperactive behavior to put my hand your shoulder, since I hooked my homie on speed back in the day with a similar result. What your going through is just an awful position to be in, and my heart goes out to you. How are you feeling now?', 'My heart goes out to you, that sounds very sad.I never Hyperactive behavior how the Gods treated Sysyphus. It seems they could have done better by helping him with his problems, or referring him to a competent therapist. He clearly had pathological self esteem issues.I do not think you are a lost cause. Nobody is a lost cause. A little cliche, but that is my take. I hope you feel better.', 'Yes, that is awful.  It is crap when no one understands, and the stigma around mental illness is daunting.My heart goes out to you, for what it is worth.Of course the stigma around mental illness is huge, but something I love are mental health advocate groups, which have ended my personal isolation. The groups are run by us Abnormal behavior folk, and we dont talk about our problems in of themselves, rather we talk about the issues that face people with mental illness as a whole. We advocate for policy change and services; some times significantly - and formerly our group created a drop in center run by consumers of mental health services. It is a lot of fun, and we all are in the same boat to greater and lesser degrees.These are good resources if you are interested. It is okay if you are not. [http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/][http://prop63.org/]Best regards to you. ', 'My heart goes out to you. It sounds Hyperactive behavior parts of you life have gotten out of your control.Would you tell us more about your relationship with your brother? That sounds Hyperactive behavior a center piece to the current situation.', 'It sounds Hyperactive behavior the move has really isolated you. Are there any gay communities around where you are now? ', 'Thats a difficult dichotomy, shit. Well its good that you came on hear. If you dont mind me asking, what do you think is the hardest part about talking about it? It seems Hyperactive behavior there must be some really tough barriers.', 'That is good to hear. There must be a big diversity in the kinds of folks who volunteer for those things. He might have been a trainee.', 'Cool, just was wondering.Hows your kid doing? Id be interested to know more about he or she.', 'That is too bad.', 'Yeah, its pretty rough cut. Not all bad, but has a lot of room for improvement. ', 'Damn, that is a hard read. How did things get to this point?', 'Mind wandering down dark roads is lonesome. I liked Statisticalsharks advice as well. Its kind of strange that we are more than just our thoughts. Thats why its good to reach out, talk with other people, and hear other perspectives. Things are so complicated, and we can want to live and die at the same time in the same mind!How was today? ', 'Talk to me about your hope.', 'Wow I am so glad you are alive! Its good to hear the part of you that wants to chase dreams and make a positive difference. You still have a lot of good operating inside of you.Any particular dreams you have right now, Dan?', 'That is so sad! What a damn rough shot.You said that you could never afford meds or therapy, which I can understand. However, there may be services available through your local government mental health services. They have a lot to offer, and you certainly qualify.Also, have you looked into local housing services through your housing authority? There is a federal program out right now called [Rapid Re-housing](http://portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD?src=/recovery/programs/homelessness) designed for people specifically in your situation. Essentially, instead of going homeless, the Housing Authority swoops in to get you some housing.Also, since you are 24, you are a member of the Federally defined Transitional Age Youth range (16-24), which means there could be additional options provided.Im going to bed now, but if you want, I can help you access those services tomorrow. Just let me know if there is anything I can do.Hope you feel better! Lots of love going your way.Cornmega', 'I can understand those fears. Crying is a vulnerable state of being, and being vulnerable is hard.I dont know your situation in life, but can you think of anyone who would be a good shoulder to Crying Reflex, Abnormal on?', 'What set off your crying, homie?', 'Im sorry your in this predicament. Sounds really tough.I liked the idea you had about asking your friend for help. Whatever the decision you end up making, it would be good to talk it out with someone, whether it be a trusted friend or therapist.Colleges usually have really good therapists. If you go that route, ask for a therapist who specifically has experience in working with suicidal thoughts. Not all therapists are good at dealing with it, and the ones who are would be glad to hear from you.Hope you feel better soon!', 'I understand. It is very difficult to get out there.What would help make it easier? Have you gone onto r/lgbteens, or r/ainbow. r/lgbteens is especially friendly, in a person to person kind of way. ', 'That sounds awful. Being lonely is painful.', 'Oh my goodness, my heart goes out to you both. That is very difficult.', 'I can understand that, they arent for everyone.How is your mom doing? ', 'Im sorry to hear that. What happened to the people who you use to share your feelings with?', 'That is a rough state to be in. Loneliness is a deep cut.It sounds Hyperactive behavior you are pretty worn out. You are putting yourself out there, on the proverbial grinding stone so to speak, trying to feel better. That is a hard grind.', 'Your story is very sad, and it sound Hyperactive behavior you are in not just a bleak place in life, but an uncertain one as well. My heart goes out to you.Are there any people around in who you have confided with about how you are doing?', 'That is the truth about escape. The more we try to cover up the bitterness, the more desensitized we become to sweetness. In my experience, it feels Hyperactive behavior a cyclical Drug craving - Hyperactive behavior cigarettes.That is an awful experience to have with a councilor! It really is true how professionals can stigmatize people with difficulties. Have you ever tried a peer worker whose been through the same shit as you?Your last paragraph spoke to me viscerally. When people who become a part of us suddenly turn, it is as though they become a cancer. It hurts so much that we want to tear them out of ourselves, and annihilate every vestige they have within us. That what it reminded me of anyway, which put me into some reverie.']",Supportive
user-418,"['There are so many people in the world! [Youre not alone](http://www.viruscomix.com/monstrepancies.jpg) and you have so much those people waiting to be a part of your life. You talk about perfection, but all of us, even the ""perfect"" struggle with perception of themselves, and insecurities - those of us real enough to understand.Its so easy to become isolated and insecure and lose track of just how great you are. So many people drag themselves down, feel trapped in the dark when all they need to do is open their eyes and look around. Youre still doing ok, many people are going through struggles just Hyperactive behavior yours ([living with your parents for example! very common!](http://www.theguardian.com/money/2014/jan/21/record-levels-young-adults-living-home-ons)). Such small things in life, Hyperactive behavior a single friend, can make the problems we have with have insignificant. And something Hyperactive behavior that is guaranteed to come along for you, and I think it would be Abnormal behavior for you not to be here to take that loving friendship up and run with it.', 'Two is two more than some others have! How many single mothers without parents struggle through?I dont think you truly believe that they are the only ones in your life, I think you have it in you to know how many caring people there are in the world, how many people just Hyperactive behavior you looking for a hand to hold with each other. Were made to move through life together, but sometimes Hyperactive behavior any pursuit of perfection we begin to reject anything that might fail. Trust me from an outside perspective when I say your pain, fear, Sad mood might be real but you have so much Ventricular Dysfunction, Left for others to enjoy once that cloud has passed. And it will pass, and you will feel the sun again.Losing loved ones Chest Pain, and youve obviously had a lot of Chest Pain in your life. But that doesnt Irritable Mood that youre not loved, or that you wont be very, very loved in the future. Stay safe, you deserve it.']",Indicator
user-419,"[':D I Hyperactive behavior you too haha I love Joanna newsom so much, her music has been there for me in rough times so much ', 'No. I bet youre also a survivor', ':/', 'Ahh. I dont know how to edit but I wanted to Attention Deficit Disorder that I have been known to impulsively do things such as spend money when I do or dont have it, get my hair chopped off TODAY. I regret a lot of things I do but get used to it because it happens a lot. I used to be really reckless, I would drink whatever smoke whatever and Hypersomnia with whoever. Lovely, right? Could be a bad coping skill but I did it all habitually. ', ""Fuck you. It's a feeling. I feel destructive I don't know why. I don't care if it kills me. If 40 xanax wouldn't then I'll just drink and I'm not going to call an ambulance or ask anyone here to so stop being a dick"", 'Fuck. I am so sorry. God damnit. ', 'Yep again I said this was not for an overdose. I know I said that but I meant taking well over my prescribed dose. ', 'You have to figure that out for yourself. I can tell you a bunch of cookie cutter reasons but it wont Irritable Mood as much as reasons you have for yourself. Plus you just need the means. If you cant talk yourself out of negativity how will you ever enjoy anything that life has to offer. You just have to fight this, thats all. This is just a dark moment in your life. Youll pull through. ', 'How old are you?', 'Thanks. It helped I guess. ', 'Are you okay?', 'Better than a dead man', ':(. I see. Well hopefully itll just be fines and what not. Yeah those are just general practitioners downstairs in the emergency room they dont know much about mental health or how to treat people with those problems. They just know how to put bandaids on. I want you to get well. I dont want you to be dead ', 'I dont know what to say. :(. That really is heartbreaking. I cant believe they drove you back to the hotel instead of parents house or something. Wtfffffff. :(. ', 'How much do you take?', ""There's isn't anything for oxytocin specifically right now but you can take something Hyperactive behavior rispiridal for Paranoia thoughts if it's bad  "", ""Exactly. I know I'm not alone but that's how it feels. There's always that Anxiety Mental Depression because I don't want to say or feel the wrong way which results in me sometimes not saying or feeling anything, or just trying to match whoever I'm talking too"", ""I just woke up so Ill do yesterday\n*resisted Depressed mood myself\n*reached out to friends and family\n*got up and did things. I went to the library for a bit even though I didn't want to get out it bed. \nAs for dbt I used mindfulness, building mastery and maintaining relationships. \nI just started dbt so I don't know a lot of skills yet"", 'Thats how my family is too. My dad yelled at me when he found out I self harmed. And he threatened to take away the insurance and car and everything else if I admitted myself to a psych ward. That was in October. I told my family I was going up north for a week or two and wouldnt have phone service. So you know. You just have you look out for yourself. If they think Hyperactive behavior that, maybe they just dont fucking get it. And I know how frustrating that is. But you can get treatment for you. Dont even Anxiety about them. I know its hard. I know humans suck. I know it. I know I know. But its okay. Good people still exist I promise. Good experiences are still ahead of you too', 'Take care of yourself', 'Er... Idk I cant promise youll be having parties on the psych ward in your city. But you know what I was trying to say. ', 'Suicidal thoughts is dangerous and they take them seriously. Theyre not going to treat you Hyperactive behavior your arm got cut off but they still take care of you. So am I unfortunately. But you have to be honest. You cant let the demons win. I know it seems nearly impossible. But its not ', 'Im still here dont Anxiety', ':(. I see. Well hopefully itll just be fines and what not. Yeah those are just general practitioners downstairs in the emergency room they dont know much about mental health or how to treat people with those problems. They just know how to put bandaids on. ', 'Im not religious but Im praying that they do. And the hospital isnt the only option, there are day programs and other things. Help is out there. And I want to talk to you more. Youre gonna come out on the other side I hope. I dont support this at all but Im writing your name down. Thats fucking stupid what that person said. People have said stuff Hyperactive behavior that to me before too. My dad said hed buy me a gun if id Hyperactive behavior. But you just cant listen to people Hyperactive behavior that. We can keep talking if you want to. Im here to listen', 'Dont!!! It is depressing but dont run from it. Im fucking begging you. Why would you go to jail? Do you have warrants out? You cant go to jail for being suicidal', 'I never made any Suicide threats. ', 'But they wont know that youre having fun. They dont know what its Hyperactive behavior in there. They just think its a hospital. For Nausea people who are trying to get better. They might understand a little you know? Or support you ', ""I'm sorry they said that :( if you need someone to talk to I'm here "", 'What does 3 or 4 shots from the hanging Irritable Mood?', 'Write my number down', 'Are you okay? Ive been wondering whats going on. I hope everything turns out okay. Make sure you tell them the truth. Please ', 'Pstt so does you from the future. Honestly. If I was having this conversation with myself 3 weeks ago Id be Hyperactive behavior no, no its not. Shut up. Let me die. And I know its hard but youre a fighter and you can make it through this ', 'No I dont know you. But youre suffering too. Youre human. Ill never know you. But it still hurts. Im sorry. Im not going to bullshit you. But I wish you would try ', 'I just want you to live', 'What happened?', 'Hey I think you want the demons to stop as much as I do. But that doesnt Irritable Mood you have to stop living. No one wants that to happen. So really I want you to go to the hospital and ask for help right now. Do you have a car? If you dont or if you cant drive call 911. Call a few people and tell them briefly whats going on. Youre having a very tough time and need to go where youll be safe for awhile. If you need to you can message me anytime for any reason', 'It doesnt matter what I want. Im here to try to help in an honest way. Im having passive suicidal thoughts tonight, thats how I ended up on this subreddit. I set the date to kill myself on feb 15th but I ended in the psych hospital and Im getting better. I want you to get better too. :/. ', 'Fuck. What are they for? ', 'Its just protocol I think. When I went they put a tracking band on me for no reason. But I dont know. Try not to Anxiety about that. Think about whats going on right now ', 'How did I make them easier? :(', 'Youve never been so you dont know. Yes they do over medicate people and its sad but sometimes its an accident and the adjust it accordingly but most of the time the people NEED it youre not Violent and you wouldnt be restrained or anything. You might be perscribed Zoloft and a mood stabilizer and maybe something for Anxiety Mental Depression and maybe even something for Hypersomnia but thats optional. You work with your doctors too. Its a team effort. You go to group therapy. But youre right, most of the work is done out of the hospital and theyll help set you up with a psychiatrist and a therapist if you dont already have one ', 'Okay.', 'Please just stop and reconsider the other possibilities  dont do it', 'Dont drink more :(', 'Theres still a future past the horizon. Maybe youll have to walk through some shit to get to it but itll be worth it because youll be happy', 'You dont have to have visitors if you dont want. And it is a first step and it will take work but I dontt think youll be in therapy forever or anything and youre not going to feel Hyperactive behavior this forever. Please stay. ', ""I'm sorry for what I said. I seriously don't remember posting any of that. Idk why I was so hostile. "", 'You dont have to have visitors if you dont want. And it is a first step and it will take work but I dontt think youll be in therapy forever or anything and youre not going to feel Hyperactive behavior this forever. Please stay', 'Im sorry I couldnt convince to not do this to yourself :(. It was me that called the police. ', 'No. My psychiatrist an therapist have been pushing it for awhile but i dont have time for it with school and work', 'Can I ask what brought you to the hotel? Why are going to end your life? Its okay if you dont want to answer ', ""Oh hey thanks! That's great advice :)"", 'Please seek help :(. The human brain is incredible. It can change and adapt', ""I Irritable Mood it's cool they're looking further into BPD Hyperactive behavior this but it seems Hyperactive behavior such an obvious study. I think all it accomplishes is showing that people with BPD have actual chemical differences than others.  oxytocin is a chemical that helps with love and trust. I don't know about you but I have clear trust issues because of my trauma, traumas that basically caused this whole BPD mess. And if you don't trust people over and over it changes your brain and the chemicals that fire. I don't think we're just born with oxytocin deficiency I think it's just an accumulation of how our lives have gone"", 'What does? The hospital I was at was actually kinda fun. We had pet therapy, yoga and music therapy. And I met amazing people. If youre talking about Hyperactive behavior therApy and stuff afterwards... It doesnt define you! You go once a week or whatever for half an hour and talk about whateer and move on and do something else', 'Listen. Im hearing a lot of Anxiety Mental Depression. You remind me of me. A lot of the things you say remind me of me. What you need is to just stop and stay at the hospital. Theyre not going to take you to jail. Just let the doctors take care of it and get yourself better okay? If not for you for your family and your friends? Please. This is the right choice I promise you ', 'Absolutely haha :)', 'That doesnt Irritable Mood you shouldve lied :(', 'You there?', 'Im sorry that they were Depressed mood :(. But listen Im going to bed soon. You should get some rest too, okay? Its been a long night', 'So its not really doing anything for you? Thats why I switched to it. I was on topamax. Another anticonvulsant but it wasnt doing anything :/', 'I dont want to feel bad :(', 'Edit: sorry. Projecting. ', 'Girl Interrupted, I believe ', 'I cant believe they brought you back', 'Youll make it through a stronger person. As cheesy as that sounds I Irritable Mood it. ', 'I didnt get it :( ugh. Its because youre out if the country. Damnit. You can message me if you need to', 'I dont feel guilty. Im just worried and concerned ', 'Yeah Im having a hard time falling Somnolence tonight too. I wanna get up and do stuff but I have work tomorrow. ', 'Youve never been so you dont know. Yes they do over medicate people and its sad but sometimes its an accident and the adjust it accordingly but most of the time the people NEED it youre not Violent and you wouldnt be restrained or anything. You might be perscribed Zoloft and a mood stabilizer and maybe something for Anxiety Mental Depression and maybe even something for Hypersomnia but thats optional. You work with your doctors too. Its a team effort. You go to group therapy. But youre right, most of the work is done out of the hospital ', 'Er... Idk I cant promise youll be having parties on the psych ward near you lol. But you know what I was trying to say. [edit] and hey maybe thats part of your treatment. Just worrying about you in the moment instead of family and friends on the outside. Maybe its where you need to be. It might be good for you ', 'How do I become one?']",Behavior
user-420,"['Hey, whats the problem? Feel Hyperactive behavior talking about it? ', 'I suppose there isnt a whole lot to go on then... A Serbian guy named [name] isnt a lot to go on... Im sorry but I dont think theres anything that I can do to help this guy. If you have anything Hyperactive behavior his IP-address or similar, try it. At least its something. If you get signs that hes alive or find where he is feel free to tell! Best of luck!', 'Try to not take what your sister said too seriously. Its easy to say something that you dont Irritable Mood when youre angry. Let her Sedated state down and if you still feel sad about what she said, talk to her. ', 'Hello, and happy holidays! Almost no one likes to be alone. If you can, family is usually people you can hang around with? Theyre better than nothing.Im not sure if this applies where you live, but there are often public events for Christmas celebrations if youd Hyperactive behavior to go to one of those? Perhaps it would help you to get your ex off your mind? Breakups happen to many people all the time, the only thing to do is accept the reality and plough through what has happened! Send me a message if youd Hyperactive behavior, Im free to talk to for approximately 1h. ', 'Have a splendid and outrageously great birthday! Happy Birthday!', 'Ill wait, no rush. ', 'Really nice! I Hyperactive behavior the choice of quote and the way youre prioritising your mental health, keep on fighting. :)', 'Precisely. Its good that you take notes; good to read when becoming uncertain of what to say.Keep in mind that questions may be asked to you, be ready for expected and perhaps unexpected questions. If they seem hostile in some way its probably because they dont thoroughly understand. Be as understanding to them as you wish them to be for you. Good luck to you! ', 'What was the best part of 2012 for me?: The best part was reading about people that got out of Mental Depression in 2012; how willing most of them were to try and aid others with Mental Depression! It gives me hope.What are my New Years resolutions?: Look at what I have, not what I couldve had or can have in the future . I will try very hard to keep up that thought. Ive been looking at the future and past for a long time, missing the present. Achieving goals for no other reason than to look past them. I hope for that to end in 2013. What are you to say at the party tonight when it comes down to questions Hyperactive behavior these?: If youre worried about peoples responses to your real answers to these questions, you can say that you dont know. If you arent worried about their responses and simply dont know... Well, perhaps instead of thinking about whats the best about 2012, just find something that was good during the year; perhaps spending time with some specific people, getting a nice gift from someone, playing a fun video-game, anything. Your New Years resolution?: Fulfil your desire to get out of where you are now? Sorting out your internal stuff? Or nothing at all?Happy New Year!', 'If you get more info (possible location) call the police in the country and try to get him some help? Perhaps his ""name"" on reddit will help? ', 'Youre welcome. If theres any concern or question that youd Hyperactive behavior to discuss, PM it away. I wont be able to answer soon however as Im about to go to sleep, but when I wake up Ill PM you back if you desire. Goodnight. ', '(Look below for answer to question (second paragraph)) everyone gets in a tough spot sometime in their life; at some point most people feel Hyperactive behavior living is a great burden, some fix it on their own, others need help. And as clich\xc3\xa9 it may sound: dont kill yourself (or try to get murdered or anything Hyperactive behavior it), you can move on from this relationship and find someone who truly loves you.The real reason to why Suicide isnt any good option: youre unique; no one will ever be or has been truly Hyperactive behavior you; society cant replace you. To every problem theres a solution, some solutions are more difficult to achieve than others. Change is constant; emotions, people, memories, etc. they all change over time, change occurs more or less to everybody. Lastly, remember that there is always someone who cares enough to want to help, even though it may not seem Hyperactive behavior it; these people are hard to find.There are a lot of more reasons but you get the idea. Hope you find this useful and hopeful. ', 'I dont mind either, your pick. Pm is the best if you wish it more confidential. ', 'I think a better question than ""how would you explain Mental Depression?"", would be ""how would I explain my Mental Depression?"". Every case of Mental Depression has its own characteristics with different individuals. But to answer your question: Mental Depression is a mental state of low mood and antipathy to activity; often characterised by emotions such as: anxiety, sadness, emptiness, guilt, etc. I personally believe that you should explain and tell about your specific Mental Depression. It would make it easier for your parents to understand your specific problems, and perhaps aid you in a  more sufficient way.  If youd Hyperactive behavior, tell us more about your Mental Depression? ', 'If youve made your decision already, then I hope you find peace and goodbye. If not, someone is always looking to help people, it can all get better if you find one of those people :). ', 'Far too many people in this world are naive. I dont really know what else to tell you except than trying to find new friends that will care about you. I hope you dont try to commit Suicide again however. You never know what opportunities life might offer in the future. ', 'Hey. Have you tried going to other places? Seeing new people? The world is huge and there are so many people out there that might just love how you look! You might just have had ended up in a bad place with too many bad people... Whether youre a Genital Diseases, Male or female, fat or thin, etc. doesnt matter, no one should have to feel this way because of who they are, because of how they were born and developed. Were all on the same planet, we all want to feel loved... And love is out there - the hard thing is to find it and catch it! Lastly, please dont end it all... Its hard sometimes, it really is... It can feel Hyperactive behavior youve hit a wall in your life and life keeps banging your head against the wall - but there is always a way to get by it. Or you can give up. I hope you change your mind. Send me a PM if you would Hyperactive behavior to chat in private. =)']",Indicator
user-421,"['I am Depressed mood with or without alcohol.  Basically I know alcohol is no solution not a short term and not a long term. But I just cant ignore my still strong first day feelings for her. And the alcohol takes them away completely. The 9mm I dont know. I play video games but I dont even know how to handle a gun. I just bought it as a option first.  But this option is more and more thr option #1.People I talked with also said that this is life. And time will pass and and and. But the thing we all can agree on is that everyone is different.  And I happen to be a person who just cant handle loss because of past events and I just want her back otherwise this was it. ', 'It is maybe...it can be the the biggest draw back in life. That when the person you basically shared your whole life with. And you think you Irritable Mood the world to the other person too. That some time there comes the time where is it crutial and you say ""hey here I am. I dont feel good. Here I am"". And then she is just gone and you thought you are something special to her and you realise. Okay maybe this was just the hope and maybe it was just the wish that you are so special to the other. And you realise that it isnt Hyperactive behavior that. And it just Chest Pain so much. How can a human cope with that', 'Thanks but I just cant.  I really try to accept your help.  This is why I posted my story. But I am sitting in front of a table made ready for two now. It didnt came to my mind that I did that. A huge throwback now.I am really trying to adjust but everything i do seems to make it worse', 'But right now it just seems so pointless because everything I had to live for is gone now. I Irritable Mood right now I am so happy that people even if they dont know me. Care about me. Because the only person who cared about me no matter what is now gone.  My life is tumbling down right now and I dont know.  Another problem comes with. Without being boasty. I am a pretty intelligent person. With that comes that my brain is very active that brings it creativity up and thinking about her having an other man. This drives everything even more down.I am still hesitating with that gun.  I mwan I threw away the ammo. But its easy to get.', 'Employed. Currently i have 2 weeks ofd']",Behavior
user-422,"['The only reason i havent commit Suicide up until this day is because of my parents, despite my hardship in life they always loved me. 22 years they loved me despite all the mistakes i made and i couldnt bring my self to Suicide and make them sad. I just live my life and tried my best to overcome all this depression.']",Ideation
user-423,"['Im sorry. I wouldnt wish something Hyperactive behavior this on any being ever. My sister is a dancer and broke her foot, keeping her from dancing for a year. Her Ache and misery was terrible. We shouldnt be kept from the things we love the most. Since we both can understand each other pretty well, I had an idea for how we can help each other. Let me know what you think. If I go out of my way today to be responsible, to focus on a short-term goal (today thats working on my research), will you try your hardest to focus on doing something proactive/productive? A short-term goal Hyperactive behavior cleaning your room or making dinner or something Hyperactive behavior that. At the end of the day we can tell each other how we did. We can work together to try to help each other out of our ruts. ', 'Thank you for your reply. I really Hyperactive behavior the idea that its Hyperactive behavior an egg. Thats really helping my brain emotionally understand why its having so much trouble. I think Im going to make it through the day. Its always the night, the darkness where the Sad mood sets in, and thoughts creep out of the darkest part of my brain. ', 'I made it through the night. I had the most terrible dreams though. Dreams about exes, and dreams about bears attacking me. Im not sure what the deal was with bears. My Nightmares usually involve water. Part of this whole situation thats bothering me that my dreams brought up is my need to be validated by a relationship. I hate that the thing I Anxiety most about is how potential dates will look at me and judge me, because of my arm. I feel so stupid that thats one of my biggest worries. My need to be in a relationship terrifies me, but its Hyperactive behavior Im not whole or real without someone else there. ', 'I know Im in a completely different place with my injury than you are, but the feelings youve described of feeling Hyperactive behavior youre climbing mt Everest is a good way for me to describe my own feelings. My heart is burning with sadness and a desire to help you in some way. I dont know how to accomplish that especially given my current state, but at least I know the compassionate, almost-maternal, part of my brain continues to function as it always has. I am proud to say that I am working on setting up an appt with a counselor to talk about what Ive been going through.I want you to know that despite my own struggles, Im rooting for you to succeed in whatever capacity success would be for you. Your story has really touched me, and I know Im just some random suicidal guy on reddit, but Im hopeful for you. I care about what happens to you, and even if I never hear from you again, I will constantly be thinking about you, hoping it gets better for you. Thank you for pulling hope out of my body again Even though its not for me, I have something positive to gain from this feeling inside me. ']",Ideation
user-424,"['I have tried, I really have. But every time I just get knocked down even harder. I dont see why I should perform actions that just end with me feeling more Chest Pain and Ache. Everyone is different and everyone has their own issues to due with. Just because other people are able to overcome their problems doesnt Irritable Mood I could ever overcome mine.', 'I dont think I can try anymore. The reason I am feeling this way is because I dared to dream. And although the alternative is to live alone in misery anyway, its better than to keep trying hard only to be put down. Either way the only outcome is Sad mood, and I need to learn to accept that. I need to enjoy the last few years of my life being alone.', 'How much time? There a limits to how much a person can endure before giving up.', 'I am glad you arent feeling suicidal anymore. I really am.  I have tried getting help. Done the cognitive therapy. Taking the medication. Been told its all due to a chemical imbalance in my head.  I used to feel hope and was really positive. I thought that the therapy was working. That the meds were working. That my actions were actually having an influence into how I shape my life. But I was wrong. So terribly wrong.  I do take in positives. I still hang out with friends. Im working in a great department at work. However, I still cannot convince myself that life is worth living past the date I have set.', 'Experience tells me its not going to get better. Im more likely to live a long sad lonely life. There are still things that I need and want to get done before it all ends.', 'The urge does not pass. Ive already set the date.  Im still going to be around unfortunately for another year. And it has ALREADY been a VERY long time.', 'There is a need if theres a chance that its going to be a lifetime of misery.', 'I wanted (maybe still do) to kill myself on my birthday too.  I figured that I would be making my family sad, especially on the anniversaries of my death and also my birthday. I figured being sad 1 day a year is better than 2.  I know it sounds a little crazy... Is that why you chose your birthday?', 'Ive tried before... Many times. I know what rejection feels Hyperactive behavior too well. It does not get easier. Plus, Depressed mood people arent suppose to look for relationships until they get better. I KNOW that Im never going to feel that life is ever worth living. Ive been through too much already. Everyone in that sub reddit seems to BE in a relationship. Those people will never know what Im feeling. They dont know what 28 years of Sad mood is combined with a very depressing Schizophrenia, Childhood and really bad bullying throughout their lives. Its not the sub reddit for me.', 'I have to disagree because the way I see it is Suicide prevents things from getting worse.', 'I do understand that life has its ups and downs. As you said, not unlike a roller coaster. Unfortunately Ive been through the downs and although its nowhere near as bad as it was before, I just cant stay on this ride. I genuinely dont want to experience what I have in the past. I dont want to keep living with that. And the thought of even making it to 30 makes me cringe. It makes me extremely sad and fearful. Its Hyperactive behavior a milestone I never ever want to be reminded of. Sure Ive had my ups, but my downs clearly outweigh them.  30 years of misery? And then what? Do my best and turn it all around? Realistically, its just not going to happen.', 'I might get the garden I deserve, but its not the one I need right now :)', 'The first couple of years at university were great.  I had friends. I was no longer an outcast.  In between periods I had people to hang with and talk to.  Being accepted felt so good.  However, that changed in the next two years... Most of my friends started to get into relationships.  I noticed my uni friends being not around as much.  Later on I found out that they attended gatherings and balls and events. Apparently they never told me about it, and the only reason I know is because they accidently let it slip. Being the only single one, I was Ventricular Dysfunction, Left out. I know they were probably not inviting me for my own good. Whats the point of being invited if Im the only single one? It would just create an awkward situation. I dont hate my friends for it. I just hate myself because I must be different.  I tried to get into a relationship with a girl.  For a whole year I was being really nice, and even helping her out greatly in her homework and assignments. I also took her home from uni too. After a long while I eventually summoned the courage to ask her out. Unfortunately she told me shed rather be friends. It Chest Pain a lot. I guess I had my hopes too high. I thought at the time maybe one day Ill ask her out again and shell say yes this time. So I continued to help her with her uni work and assignments and also to take her home from uni. All this time just hoping. On the day of my graduation, I asked her if she could tape a tv show for me.  She said that she couldnt because she had a client meeting to go to for her university project.  At the time she was using a forum which I designed for her so her group members and her can communicate.  I knew the pitfalls of my forum, so I knew how to access it. I went into the forum so I could see if she was having trouble with her project, and if she was then I  would be ready to help.  I saw that she posted that she was skipping her group meeting to go home early so she could watch the same tv show which I asked her to tape.  I felt really heartbroken. It wasnt just the lie, it was the fact that she could lie so casually. I called her up and casually asked her if she ever managed to tape the tv show, but she told the same lie, she couldnt because of her client meeting.  I felt so Anger and Chest Pain and sad at the same time. It took me a long time to get over that.After graduating from university I couldnt find a job that I studied for. I had dropped out of computer science and instead focused on databases, information systems. I applied for start-up jobs Hyperactive behavior tech support but I was never successful. In the meantime my university acquaintances did very well. Even the ones who had cheated their way through university, some were not even smart at all, some were just stoners and did drugs all the time, even they received professional jobs. I still needed a job so I started work at a department store. It was only supposed to be temporary, but I worked there for 2 years. During the second year I worked there, I decided to take a course in graphic arts and design. I did the course at a technical school. It lasted a year. When I finished, I still couldnt find a job in that field.  It was around that time that I started to get counselling for Mental Depression.    I changed jobs to a full time job in a laboratory because my friend worked there. I worked hard and learnt about the different areas in my department.  After a year of working there, the same bully from my past started work.  I didnt talk to him much at first.  After a few months I tried to make small talk. I asked him when did he become permanent at work.  He told me he became permanent basically straight away. I made the mistake of asking how much he got paid. He just laughed and said, \xe2\x80\x9cmore than you.\xe2\x80\x9d  This was the moment when I knew karma does not exist. Someone who treats another person very badly, never went into university, gets the same type of job as me, and also gets paid higher.  The reason for this is because he was kind of acquainted with the boss beforehand.  I believe that early in life, bullies get a level of respect from their peers.  This allows them to develop Phobia, Social skills quicker which in turn allows them to make more friends and then develop a much larger network of contacts that would prove useful to them in life.  I found out later that this same bully has a wife, child, house and nice car.  I had some money saved for a car but didnt buy one because my parents were strictly against me getting a better car than the rust bucket I currently have.Anyways, soon afterwards I realised I was getting paid the LEAST in my shift.  This is despite working much longer than some people and also trained in more areas.  I told my boss but he said there was nothing he could do. He said I should call payroll to look into it. I called payroll but they told me to go to human resources. So I organised an appointment, and the HR officer did say my pay seemed to be a little low and organised a time to meet again.  He wanted to meet a 6pm the next day. I asked him if he would still be in his office and he said that he was going to stay back for a bit.  He didnt. A couple of days later I was given a small pay rise. My boss told me the reason why I couldnt get paid more was because the paperwork for my training went missing. I couldnt win. I had to accept or get nothing. The payrise I got was basically the same as what new people get once they become permanent. Soon after I was transferred into another shift. Then the bullying started again.  I did see my psychologist about this. She convinced me that I should be kept on watch for my own safety.  I was kept in a ward for a few days where I found some level of peace.  I didnt want to trouble my parents so I played by the cards and was released after a couple of days.After a while I was transferred into another department.   This department was just as bad.  The bosses from this department refused to recognise any of the skill sets from the previous department, even though it was lower in the supply chain. Basically I had to relearn new methods just so my pay wouldnt be too low. It took a long time, not because the work was difficult, but because the bosses were letting newer people get trained before me. I know that they were intentionally doing this to make life hard on me. It worked. I became a dog.  I recognised that I will always be treated Hyperactive behavior this. I stopped seeing my psychologist, and stopped taking the antidepressants. After a couple of years things I became Hyperactive behavior a dog. Doing what people wanted. My parents convinced me to buy a house using ALL my money as a deposit and borrowing the rest from them and a bit from the bank.  My parents said I didnt have to pay them interest so it would be better for me. I wanted to use my own money for a car. Not a flashy car, but just a normal car that didnt break down twice a year.', 'How can I forgive a bully who made my life hell in the past? I tried to move on but was stupid to think that I could forgive. It was making friendly talk with my bully that gave him the opportunity to make fun of how he gets paid more than me. You cant forgive people who arent sorry and have it all.', 'Family and friends would feel grief and sadness. I cannot deny that. But I have weighed it to the amount of sadness and Ache that builds daily. People would call me selfish, but I *have* to be selfish.  Life hasnt been fair to me, so why should I treat life fairly? I dont believe in destiny.  And my self esteem is low enough that I feel that I dont have the right to date any girl even if thats what Ive always wanted in the past.', 'Ive been through enough.  I dont have to put up with anymore setbacks.  There isnt much that can make me change my mind. I am glad that you dont feel what I feel.  Unfortunately not everyone is so fortunate.', 'Im not socially awkward, Im able to create and hold conversations just fine. I keep my negativity away from friends and family. I have to admit that I might not be experienced in going out with a girl. I know the connotations behind being invited to her place for coffee, but I really liked her and didnt want to kiss or get intimate on the first date. I dont know how to feel about these kinda things anymore', 'I dont find life worth living anymore. I have no interest in anything.  A good career and relationship were the only things in life I needed. I needed to fix the thoughts of failure and Sad mood a long time ago. Now its too late.', 'I used to believe that. But now looking back at it, I was just delusional. Having hope is very dangerous for me.  Ive learnt that the hard way.', 'Its even worse when theres many assholes who were once bullies in the past.', 'How did she stay positive? I never really had friends until late in my life. I have uni friends but dont hang out with them much. Recently Ive made friends and have been socialising but I think its too late... Im already too broken. Noone deserves a person Hyperactive behavior me.', 'That little negative voice also gives comfort by giving me a way out. Thats what Mental Depression does.', 'I feel hopeless for many reasons. I have already made a commitment to the date. Every negative feeling I feel, I always put it aside and think about the date. The more negativity that happens, the more meaning the date has to me. I dont want to type out my whole life story because there is just so much that I cant be bothered typing again and will feel Hyperactive behavior I am just regurgitating. I give you permission to look through my posts that I made in the past in the subreddit. [http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/xejnp/what_if_it_never_gets_better/](http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/xejnp/what_if_it_never_gets_better/)', 'I dont see why I should put effort into being positive for a *chance* to be happy when I could use the same energy to end my life and it would stop the misery and painful memories. I cannot see the world in the same light anymore.  Being in a relationship with a girl USE to be the most important thing to me, but not anymore.  I would be unable to maintain a relationship because I am no longer the same person as I once was.  I would rather die knowing that the Ache and sadness can no longer build up.', 'Im sorry but I have already given up (quite some time ago). I have thought a lot about it, and I know that ending it stops any chance of a good life from happening. But I would still prefer it that way. No need to be sorry.    Im not saying bad things happen to me all the time, but enough has happened that made me decide on this.  ', 'Im pretty sure for me Im Depressed mood because my life sucks.', 'I hope that life gets better for you. My job at the moment is bearable, but I just dont feel Hyperactive behavior I would ever reach the stage where I can say that my life is going to be alright.', 'I do have a couple of hobbies. It does help pass time but its just not enough to make life worth living.', 'A combination of a breakup with an ex-gf, turning 30 in less than a week, and a feeling of Sad mood. Plus a dash of heat stroke.', 'I dont Irritable Mood to wallow in my past.  Its just that my past has affected me so much that I truly have changed my outlook on life.  It haunts me every day and night before I doze off. I honestly do not feel stronger because of my past. I feel that I am much weaker, broken and pathetic because of it. I know people would be upset when I go. Friends and family especially.  Many people would say it would be a very selfish thing to do.  But after what Ive been through and what I go through everyday, I can only see it as a price that needs to be paid.  I feel Hyperactive behavior I deserve that at least. A chance at no longer feeling anymore Ache.', 'I am still able to feel happiness during the days.  I just dont think its enough to overcome what Ive experienced in the past. If I had a time machine, then I guess I *could* be very happy.   Happy people are people that are able to get on with life even after setbacks have occurred.  They have the knowledge that they can overcome obstacles because their history tells them that they can work hard and life eventually gets better.  An unhappy person wakes up and realises the insignificance of his actions. He knows that life probably could get better when he works at it but even if it does, its just all going to collapse again. With a history of major setbacks at key points in his life, he finally realises the truth; Its not worth going on.', 'Yes... especially when everyone kisses at the same time... -_-', 'I made a promise to myself. That I didnt have to feel Chest Pain or lonely anymore. It sounds clich\xc3\xa9 but its the only way out.', 'Im turning 28 at the end of the year. I can never see the future in a positive light again. Im not going to do anything yet. Ive already set the  date. And I hate to say it but setbacks can and do follow me. Its enough to change me into the person I am today. Its enough to destroy any chance of hoping that life gets better eventually.  [This is my earlier post a while back](http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/ozcr6/i_set_a_date_about_2_years_from_now_i_will_be_gone/)', 'I have did make an appointment with a counselling class specializing in living single, but it got cancelled because not enough people signed up for it.', 'Im sad to say that I agree. I dont believe that Im a socially awkward person and I keep a lot of my negativity to myself privately. The only think that is awkward is been the only single one in a group. At my friends wedding, my other friends were visiting the married couple in pairs. Out of all my friends, Im the only one who has to congratulate them alone. Its a lot of little stuff Hyperactive behavior that. I can understand why I wasnt invited to the wedding reception... out of our group, I would be the only single one at the table. I understand it, but it still hurts a lot.', 'I do see your point. I am living in a 1st world country so I shouldnt feel Depressed mood compared to people in a 3rd world country.  There is no comparison because technically I dont have the right to complain about anything in my life.  But I do feel Depressed mood everyday. I cannot help that.  I would appreciate life more if I can just erase my memories, but I cant.', 'A happy person has hope and a belief that life is always going to be better...  Through traumatic experiences, my perspective on life has changed forever. I am different now. I can never appreciate life. ', 'Ive always wanted to know what its really Hyperactive behavior to be in one.... Not just imagining it, but to really be in one. Not many people can understand what i feel because not many people are my age and have been single their whole lives. I know its never going to happen because I have too much negative thoughts in my head that will never go away. And people who are Depressed mood arent suppose to start relationships until they get better, and I know Ill never get better no matter how hard I try. Ive already set the date near the end of this year.', 'I hear this a lot... That it will come soon, that its just around the corner... Ive been hearing it for so long... Its all just a lie. Unless you can really look into the future, you cant know. I cant lie to myself anymore... If it hasnt happened ONCE in 28 years, the years when supposedly I should be at my prime, then its safe to assume its not going to happen at all. I dont want to live the rest of my life feeling lonely. I would rather not have any feelings at all and not exist.', 'My passion is NOT feeling Ache. Do NOT twist my words. I am not into BDSM.  At this point in life, I want to physically look good. Maybe that is my passion now. Which is why Im exercising hard. I want to have a good body that will attract people. That is my reward. Pain is my punishment for being a naive Muscle Weakness idiot for so long. I want to look attractive by getting a fitter body. It may seem shallow, but that is how the world works. The world is shallow. Passion for just ONE hobby or interest is borderline obsessive. It restricts self growth. I Hyperactive behavior to read and learn about new things, see different things and eat all sorts of food. It is short sighted to say pick this and stick with it. I would not want to be with someone Hyperactive behavior that. Finding attractiveness for ONE passion in a person rather than seeing the person as a whole is in itself shallow.  ', 'There is nothing that would make me content with living anymore. I could have a millions of dollars and you probably wont believe me but I would still want to die.', 'Most days mainly.', 'Its been about 6 years since I graduated. I dont have an ideal job anymore. I just work for the money. Im being underpaid for what I do, but from my experience in the past, things *could* get much worse if I speak out about it.  (Ive been told this department is different than my old ones and I wouldnt be treated badly anymore, but can you blame me for keeping my mouth shut?)  I take NO pride for being a decent person.  If you read my previous post you would know that karma doesnt exist. Working hard doesnt necessarily Irritable Mood rewards would be guaranteed.  I did not choose this house. I hate it. But it gives me time away from my parents so at least that is a positive.', 'Depression leads to hopelessness. Hopelessness prevents me from taking any more steps... I am glad you fought and got better. I hope this story inspires other people with Mental Depression.', 'Im sorry about your friend and Im happy that you are strong enough to fight your struggles. I have done many actions, but my perspective can no longer change. I know that it is impossible to be happy all the time. I am not even sure if that is what I want. The only thing I am sure of, is I dont want to live beyond the date I have set.', 'I dont disagree with you.  It *could* get better. Much much better. But this is the sad part: I would rather give up on that KNOWING that it would no longer get any worse.', 'Thanks Ill try to keep that in mind', 'It is hope that makes me feel Depressed mood. Hope is a lie. Its all just chance. And if I can see the odds of living a sad, meaningless, lonely, Mental Depression life are so in my favour then I should just give up early.', 'I dont want to. I just dont want to live. I hate life.', 'I am not leaping into Suicide. I am turning 28 and have thought a great deal about this. I know why Im Depressed mood. I will always remain Depressed mood and hopeless. Not every situation regarding Mental Depression can be fixed. I have tried to get help in the past and I know how the system works. I have been through the meds and been told its due to a chemical imbalance in my head. Ive been through counselling and done all the cognitive and other types of therapy. There are things that cannot be overcome. I have been single my whole life and its not going to get any easier.', 'I know how it feels and it sucks. Ive graduated through university, and couldnt get a job in my field. I work at a new place for a year and then a bully from my past (who has never been to university) starts work and makes fun of the fact that he gets paid more than me even though I have been trained in more areas. I raise this with the bosses and I get demoted to another department. Move forward a few years.... he now gets paid 5 figures while I still get paid a lowish rate. Karma does not exist.', 'I think Im still the same person.', 'I couldnt disagree with you more. Physical attractiveness and the perception of being nice is what attracts people. If you look Hyperactive behavior a slob who cant take care of your own body, then you will be judged. Having direction is more attractive? Dont make me laugh. Its only attractive if you look attractive. If a fat ugly slob wants to start a family and have kids, or wants a successful career in a job, chances are hes not going to get it.     And I didnt say I wanted to become a drug addict. I want to experiment in ALL sorts of drugs. Experience new things. Not be bound by morals or what other people say.I do agree with you on one thing. Enjoy life by doing things I enjoy doing. But you seem to categorise enjoyment in your own narrow minded views.  What is wrong with having no favourite music? Why do I have to settle on something specific? What if I Hyperactive behavior listening to all sorts of music besides opera? What if I Hyperactive behavior all sorts of movies equally from all sorts of genres?    Finally, as I mentioned in my post, Im using Anger and self hatred to motivate myself. Im exercising because I want to look good and also want to feel the physical Ache that I deserve.  That is what I want to do.', 'i Forgetfulness to Attention Deficit Disorder that I did see a psychologist for about two years. But I dont think she understood how I felt because she was newly married. I feel Hyperactive behavior nobody understands because almost everyone has been in a relationship before.', 'Im 28, and have always been alone. That has never changed. Ive been Depressed mood as long as I can remember. The only thing that has changed is that Im getting older, lonelier, and more Depressed mood.', 'Getting the house was extremely stressful. Dealing with banks, brokers, real estate agent... It was almost too much.  But I went too far deep with it. I reluctantly got the house.  Moving in stuff from my room to the house was also incredibly stressful. Especially as my dad insisted on borrowing his companys ute to move my stuff on my birthday. I had planned my day to relax with a couple of friends, but he made it so stressful for me. We had to double back to his work to get ICE which I didnt need or want.  Basically it took the whole day which I already had plans for. It was so frustrating but I had to keep it inside because I had no right to argue because he was helping me.  I had earlier wanted to call removalists to move my stuff, but he got Anger when he found out and insisted that he would take care of it. After that day, I promised myself never to spend another birthday in his presence again, even if it means not seeing other family members. Not long after I got the house, my cousin introduced me to one of her friends. She seemed nice and we went to a few lunches.  She said she never much time because she had uni studies to do.  After the forth time we met up, she gave me the just friends speech.  Inside I was devastated. As I was driving home my car broke down.  It just wasnt fair. I got my car fixed and tried to get on with life again. I noticed my workplace has some sort of counselling that was being offered and paid for as part of the bigger organisation. I decided to go for it. One of the reasons why I gave up on counselling before was because it was expensive and also wasnt much help.  Even if the counselling may still be crap but at least its free now so I figured I might take a shot at it.  I tried to book an appointment but they said it would take a couple of weeks.  So I waited. On the day of my appointment my car broke down as I was driving along a busy freeway.  Part of me gave up that day. I had to wait over 2 hours for a tow truck under a hot sun. It took a lot of effort not to step out to oncoming traffic.  I really needed to talk to someone that day, but it couldnt happen. All because my car couldnt make it.  Because I dont have money to get a half decent one, because I chose to get the house instead. Choices that I made. Mistakes. Following parents advice/insistence. Mistake. I was on the edge of a knife. I just needed something a little more to swing me to a direction. To live or to die.  I knew from that moment on, I was unable to mentally endure a setback any time soon. But I also had to try. I had to fight for a way out. I knew my job was paying low, so I applied for a job in the mines.  The interview went well. It was basically the same type of job that I was doing now, but on a mine site. Accommodation and food is sorted. It was a fly in fly out job with a decent enough roster.  In the end I received a call saying I got the job, but the pay was extremely low. When I calculated it, I would be getting paid more sure, but only because I would be working a lot more hours at a lower hourly rate.  I was disappointed and had to decline.  There was no point in getting paid less and moving to an isolated mine site.  I then found out that the same bully from the other department had got a new job a couple of months earlier.  It was at the same company as I applied for, same working conditions, same job role, but with a salary close to 100k a year.  This sounds unbelievable, but its sadly true. The worst kind of co incidence ever.  Its also sad because it was this moment that convinced me that no matter how much happiness I received from now, it will never be enough to make life worth living again. It totally changed my view on life completely.  I could win the lottery and be a multimillionaire, but I would assure anyone reading this, I still intend to die and the date I have in mind.  I am still going to try and be as positive as I can be, even though it is extremely difficult. Its been over half a year since learning that the bully was getting paid so much more than what I was offered. Everyday single day since then, Ive thought about Suicide at least a few times a day.   But things have also been better since. I have recently applied and transferred to another department that is so much better than my previous 2 departments that I worked at. Everybody is so nice and Im currently getting treated fairly.   However Suicide is still on my mind. The date and method is still running though my head a few times a day. It feels horrible but at the same time I understand how Ive arrived here.  I chose to apply for that job and keep my hopes up. Its my fault I kept my hopes up.  As a result Ive learnt that hope really does destroy me.  To hope for something better is wrong.  If something good or positive comes in my life then thats good and Ill accept it.  But unfortunately Ive been through enough. No amount of happiness can ever convince me that life is worth living.  I cant Stress this enough but Ill say this once more: There are limits to how much a person can endure mentally before they cannot be helped anymore. ', 'This was beautiful.', 'I agree with you. Things have indeed become better in my life. Im just unable to feel Hyperactive behavior its ever going to be enough to make it worth living.', 'I guess I should begin at the beginning. My Schizophrenia, Childhood was not particularly a happy one. My main memories of it are being constantly scolded and beaten by my dad and sometimes my mum. They would emphasise the importance of education to such an extent where it made me Depressed mood. Sure it may be great to give a child a head start, teaching me things that my classmates did not know yet. But to force it the way they did was incredibly painful for me.In grade one, I remember my uncle gave me and my sister stickers. At the time I thought it would be a great idea to give some of the stickers to my classmates at school. My parents found out that the stickers were missing and asked where they went. When they found out, they were not happy. Well particularly my dad. I remember him screaming at me with so much Anger. He threatened to kick me out of the house. This is no exaggeration. Even though it was a bluff, he had the door opened and was screaming at me to get out. I vividly remember hiding behind my mums legs as my mum was telling me to say sorry. My mums acceptance of my dads Anger outbursts soon developed into an encouraging behaviour of his actions. It wasnt long before she encouraged my dad as he scolded  and hit us. Screaming stuff Hyperactive behavior, \xe2\x80\x9cyou deserve this\xe2\x80\x9d and \xe2\x80\x9cthis is what you get\xe2\x80\x9d in Chinese. It may be her way to encourage us kids to always do the right thing to avoid this situation. Its pathetic. In one of my early grades I was being introduced to the times-table. I have painful memories of trying to remember them.  I just remember I wanted to play Lego with my sister, but I was forbidden until I can memorise it all. I snuck away\tto play Lego with my sister anyway and my mum hit me and took me away and told me I was in school and had to learn it Hyperactive behavior all my classmates were. I was telling my classmates about times-tables and they had no idea what it was. I felt Anger that I was being forced to learn something we werent even taught yet.I remember that my parents wanted me to improve my handwriting. So everyday, I had to fill two pages of copied text. As a child I found this very boring. The pages seemed to go on forever. The text I copied were from Disney stories. If I didnt finish the 2 pages daily, I would get hit. That happened quite a lot.My mum had ideas to improve my knowledge. She would bring books from the library and try to get me to memorise them.  \xe2\x80\x9cNutritio",Ideation
user-425,"['same here, I go through some really Mental Depression funks, but the majority of the time I just dont find anything interesting. I categorize my Mental Depression by urge to kill myself. If I really feel Hyperactive behavior killing myself, I just know that Im having a bad day and I need to take it easy with myself. If Im just feeling kind of bland but I dont want to kill myself then I know its an alright day. but I just dont feel happy and I finding nothing interesting. I dont have feelings of not belonging or worthlessness so Im in this limbo state that I know Im not going to kill myself but Im still feeling anhedonia. ', 'It may not feel Hyperactive behavior people with actually miss you but trust me they will. Do you have any hobbies to take yourself out of these negative thoughts?  ']",Ideation
user-426,"['Haha, I cant really imagine. The Taste, Metallic of metal has never taken me. Always admired the scene though, my more metalhead friends are always so chill.', 'On a side note: I would take my mother to the grave with me if I could. Its just too much effort and I would feel way too sorry for my dad. Shes a really nice person, well-rounded and loving to everyone. But I have this irrational, burning hatred for her and I want her to be as dead as I want to be.Does anyone have any idea why this is?Just for clarity: I wouldnt ever kill her.', 'Tell us more, Hyperactive behavior how long have you been feeling Hyperactive behavior this?', 'Whats been your most immersive book? Are you religious? Do you believe in more after death? Do you hope there is?Also can you recommend one of Purcells better works?', 'You tried any rec drugs? Any favs?', 'Thats super tough man. Im 21 and what seems Hyperactive behavior the exact situation 2 years prior to yours. Ive thought about and dreaded being where you are and what Ive come up with is:You will have to get a Depressed mood supermarket job or something to make money to afford to retake your entire degree. Which I guess is restarting it when youre Hyperactive behavior 25. And youll have to keep your knowledge touched up over the few years. Socially, you will probably lose your uni friends and make a couple new ones at your next job.Its honestly not the worst prospect, and your parents will more easily come to terms with you being a dropout whos going to try harder, than you killing yourself after faking your last 3 years.', 'Man, once you start opening up, saying what youre really thinking to people who are in a similar boat, its hard to stop. Theres definitely that rush of excitement and hope. I enjoyed experiencing that through your writing.Exercise 100% helps all the time. Trouble for everyone is sticking to it for more than a month.Have you taken any rec drugs? Taking LSD/acid has helped me. An experience I would severely recommend everyone experiences before they die. Getting Drug abuse when Im feeling abnormally Stress also helps.https://www.youtube.com/user/ShotsOfAwe I asked someone else earlier to look at this. This guy helps me see how unique and Abnormal behavior life is when Im feeling meaningless.On a final note, you are completely tied down to your responsibility to your pup. She needs somewhere to live and someone to love her.', 'Oh okay. The psychologist, did they actually give you a new perspective on things you were Anxiety about i.e. did they tell you anything you didnt already know?Also if you dont mind me asking, whats your job? Im constantly astounded when I see so many employees in a supermarket or some-such at an entry-level job when theyre 30-40+. Not that I think anyones inferior for that.Its mine (and basically everyones) biggest fear that Ill end up with minimal prospects and a dead-end, boring job.It scares me to see if Ill actually get to that point and I further wonder if Id be able to accept my life at that point.Is this something youve had help with adjusting to? Or w.e, what do you think?P.s. Interestingly Ive always wanted to die most when Im feeling truly exhilarated/content, at my peak. Not in a druggie sense but out of fulfillment. The further my prospects fall, the less I want to die and the more Anxiety I become. But Im not really sad cause it really doesnt Irritable Mood anything and I can just die whenever.', '""youve got plenty of time"" To do what? Put effort into something?""Its really up to you to develop a good career."" Right, and I really would rather just die when it comes to putting effort in Hyperactive behavior that, since its much easier.Not only that, I dont want to put effort in to my life only to have it surpassed by someone else (e.g. job application), or for it to perhaps go unrecognised by people in power i.e. be unsuccessful. Every bit of effort is potentially wasted. It is not Hyperactive behavior an exp bar in some game. It really, really isnt.I *may* one day get a job that I Hyperactive behavior, whatever that will be, but theres no guarantee anything will be great. The idea that I might one day be sat down and quietly think ""Life /still/ isnt as exciting or easy or stress-free as I want it or expected it to be."" puts me off from bothering.Excerpt from above ""But that Guilt wont outweigh the effort I have to put in to keep an easy life for, I expect, much longer, which is why I am making this post now.""', 'Hahah, fair. Can you still drink? Does it mess with medication or anything?Just throwing it out there, if you can nab some LSD/tabs from someone, Id recommend it severely.', 'Well I still recommend it if youre not concerned about the possible issues. Ive found LSD to be the least inconsequential drug to my health, while mixing and stuff. And also the best.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNpibE5QB3E Its not quite an opera but it looks Hyperactive behavior a good time.', 'If you dont mind elaborating, what was the opportunity you had to kill yourself? And how did you become a quadriplegic?Either way, that truly sucks man, no-one would judge you for committing suicide.https://www.youtube.com/user/ShotsOfAwe I dont know if Im allowed to post links, its not my channel or anything. This guy makes some Nausea 3 min vids about the incredibility of the human mind. Just watch one.', 'Haha, thank you.', 'Have you got/had any similar thoughts/experiences/feelings?', 'Im not going to see a therapist, Im not in pain. I just want to die ASAP and it frustrates me that its monopolizing my enthusiasm/passion.', 'Are you going to try again? Are you Social fear now? Does your regret reinforce your desire to die? Whats your music of the moment, you got a fav playlist?', 'This is Abnormal behavior, Ive never seen a classical opera. London Opera had a purcell production on Hyperactive behavior a week ago. Im going to watch a Christmassy one.', 'Which Psych do you feel was more useful to you? What was the overall process Hyperactive behavior, as in did it feel long enough that you noticed one day you werent really Anxiety/depressed, or a couple big movements in your behaviour to set yourself on a better mental track?', 'Was voice acting more difficult than you thought? What did you act on? Im surprised youve not been really sucked into a book. You reckon thats an age thing? Maybe the instant gratification from the internet? Ive not gotten into a book since I was in my early teens and I suppose both are true.Also you didnt answer if you were going to try again. Too incriminating or perhaps you missed it.', '""I know life isnt easy and it wasnt fair with you but dont you take you can find some ray of hope in life?"" ""Since my injury Ive sharpened my C# and Java skills but Im hardly excited about it.""My sides']",Indicator
user-427,"['I know your Ache man. I try to keep in mind that I will find better, and things will get better. It does hurt, but killing yourseld over a woman isnt worth it. Im 22 and facing federal charges, and a girl I care about stopped talking to me. I feel the same way you do, people tell me all the time to ""get over her"", ""youll find better"" but its hard to convince yourself that. it will get better in time, try /r/seduction and try finding a new and better girl. ', 'Its not dumb, it happens. Do you feel sad and Depressed mood? Or do you just have fantasies?', 'Yea but the seats where about an 8 (just regular seats, not leather or anytjing), but good conditioned seats. Shes not that Anger about the holes, shes Anger because I got up and arms defensive and denied whole heartedly. Once I owned up to it she said I should have done that in the first place. ', 'I appreciate it. I feel much better. I have no clear evidence that shows that my friends resent me, but im still Depressed mood over the girl situation still. I am seriously Social fear that I cannot do any better.', 'I agree. Im now starting to get over my ex friend too. She never told me to ""never talk to her again"" but the last words she said to me was ""fuck off"" so idk. I hope everything will work out for the better for both of us.', 'A little over 2 months ago.', 'No. We fixed things at 1pm, this happened at 5:30pm. And she wasnt drunk, but on her way to get drunk when she noticed. ', 'Im not exactly sure what to do cause Im sorta Hyperactive behavior the older brother in this situation. but if hes not taking advice, than its hard to get through. For him Id suggest therapy and even though he has a full time job now, look for one that has more of a promising future to it, something where he can work up the latter.', 'About a 6. Its a 2000 or so but in good condition. ', 'Thats the other problem. In order to be self employeed on probation, I have to be incorporated and licensed. I dont have the capital to do that.', 'That was inappropriate of your mom. She needs to know that in this economy, getting a job is tough, even with a degree. I would suggest earching for a job that matches your education. She shouldnt be disappointed, youre working, thats all that matters. She should be proud of you. *hugs*Youre right though, staying busy keeps you from being down. I noticed that the more down time I have, the more time I have to sink in depression. Do whatever you think is right for you. ', 'Im in the same boat, Im having a hard time finding a job and Im stuck with my parents, theres always hope though. Have you considered volunteering anywhere Hyperactive behavior an animal shelter? Becoming a volunteer is almost guaranteed and it is a great way to meet people.', 'Thats what I do. Im constantly Depressed mood but I try to help people with their similar and/or situations that cause depression, it takes my mind off of things and makes me feel better that Im helping someone.', 'I do live with my parents. The reason I feel hopeless is because I dont know if Im ever going to get on my feet.', 'Im super scawny and not that good looking I the face. She was an 8/10. I cant do any better. I got lucky, and it was a fluke hooking up with her.', 'love matters.  but whod want anything romantically to do with a dead beat felon.', 'Like I said, no making money on own due to the fact there is no proving that my work is legit. In order to be self employeed I need to be licensed or incorporated. Or I have to wait til the 3 years is up.3 years from now ill be way to old to go anywhere. Im 22 now, at the age of 25 ill be pratically ancient, too late to go anywhere.', 'As for my friends. this just happened to day. I just texted someone, and they where Hyperactive behavior ""dont worry. youre making a big deal of something that isnt"" .. so I take it as they didnt take too much offence to it. But it still makes me look insecure. they havent clearly said ""We dont want to talk to you"" but it might end up to the point where Im not wanted around because of the way Ive acted.As for my ex, shes just been ignoring me. She told me off, then ignored me. She doesnt want to talk to me. She hasnt talked to me in 2 months. Ive been contacting her once a week.', 'Im in the SAME EXACT boat. I had a close female friend myself and we both had feelings for each other. 2 weeks ago we stopped talking, and Ive been Depressed mood as well. I hope that I get at least the same opportunity you did and talk to her again. It will get better for you. Work on changing yourself, and then wait and let her know what you worked on what she doesnt Hyperactive behavior about you. If you guys argue over things you strongly stand for, and dont want to change it, than it isnt meant to be.', 'We used not to. We used to be really close. Its been rocky for the past 2 weeks. Thats it. Before that its all good. Idk if you read the whole thing in detail, but she told me all that harsh shit because shes Anger at the fact I denied. I denied because I dont remember. I hope she doesnt think Im living. Giving her time to cool down has always worked. But Hyperactive behavior I said. Never has she seemed this pissed. Sure shes called me an ass in the past, sure shes told me to leave her alone. But during our whole 3 yrs of knowing each other has she ever told me that I was dead to her or stay out of her life. ', 'I appreciate the advice. Just felt really discouraged and fantasized of death. Im going to try volunteering while I apply.', 'It isnt OLD, but imo if you havent had much work experience by that age than its too late to go anywhere.Also no portfolio, I can code PHP/Javascript and some Ruby and Python. Just nothing to show off my skills to people who want to hire me.', 'I was thinking about opening up my own business. I am always full of ideas. Im just Social fear that within 1-2yrs when I get out, the internet will be full and everything will be done already.']",Indicator
user-428,"['Call 911 right now, then throw up.  There will be other girls, trust me.  ', 'When I was in college, I had a roommate was was dealing with extreme depression, smoked way too much weed, was abusing adderall, on prescription antidepressants, and had suicidal thoughts.  I tried to help him, to be his friend, but after a year I just couldnt do it anymore, and neither could my other roommates.  We went to the school for help, and the school moved him out of our room.  He didnt kill himself, but he did end up dropping out of school.I still feel bad about that.  I sometimes wish we had done more.  And he thought we were Anger with him.  He thought we asked the school to kick him out.  We didnt, but he thought we did because we withdrew from him and he was too Depressed mood to believe us.the point of this story is just to say that I believe many of your friends and family may feel that way.  Dont assume anyone is Anger.  They just might need some space themselves.  Or they might be frustrated at their inability to help, and are waiting and hoping that you will turn out ok.', 'You need to speak to your doctor about the nausea.  It could be a sign that your dosage is wrong, or that youre having a bad reaction to the medication.  And even if it is a normal side effect and will go away, Im guessing it would make you feel better if you knew that instead of just hoping.Can you talk to the psychiatrist who prescribed the medication about how you are feeling?  Do you have a best friend you can trust?  13 is a hard age, but you never know, you might have friends who are dealing with the same issues, you might be able to help each other out.', 'It doesnt have to be that, I just meant it sounds from your post that you just feel stuck and you dont see how to get unstuck.  The best thing you can do is try to find something in your life you can advance.  You say you are in decent shape, maybe you can do some kind of athletic activity and meet people there.  Or maybe you can use that to help find a girl.  Get on a free dating site and put up a couple pics that focus on your body.  Or if there is some way to take a university class without actually being a full student, try that.  The point is it doesnt really matter what you do as long as you do something that will help you move forward with some part of your life.I know that all sounds trite, and it def wont solve your problems overnight, but it will put you on the right path, and for now thats all you need.', 'Dont do it.  Call a hotline, call your parents, do something, but dont kill yourself.  Life gets better, it really does.  And while it may seem Hyperactive behavior no one cares about you, people do.  Your death will Chest Pain a lot of people.  And it will prevent you from helping people and bringing happiness to people you havent even met yet.Dont do it.', 'Good.  Also be sure to tell him how you are feeling.  I assume hell ask, but whether or not he does you need to make sure you tell him.Its understandable that you dont want to tell new friends.  That is hard.', 'The important thing to remember is you have options.  Your problems ARE solvable.  You dont need to kill yourself.  Yeah, college is sometimes stupid.  But it will also always be there, and if now isnt the time, go back to it.  As for the job, maybe you can find one that you dont find insulting.  I get where youre coming from, I always refused to have any time of food service job, wouldnt even consider it no matter how hard my parents pushed.  But eventually I found a low-paying summer job that I actually enjoyed.  You might too.Also, please consider the other people in your life.  You say youre living at home, have you thought about what this would do to your parents?  Having to find their child Hyperactive behavior that?  What about your other relatives?  Or your friends who you have fallen out of touch with?  I know you feel alone, but your death will Chest Pain a lot of people.', 'First of all, things can get better.  Youve got a solid foundation, you just need to do something to move yourself forward.Have you looked into taking a couple evening classes at community college?  It would give you a reason to get out of the house, would give you a sense of moving forward with your life, and would help you meet people.  ', 'Dont you want to keep listening to them?  Or see your kids grow up?  Or see the pyramids?  Or whatever your dream is?  Call 911.  Please.', 'I think you would be surprised by how much joy little things can bring you.  It sounds Hyperactive behavior youve bought into materialism.  Things will never make you happy.  Theyre Hyperactive behavior a sugar rush.  It wears off fast, then its just another thing you have to store and clean.Life is about experiences, not stuff.I think you underestimate the Ache your death would cause.  I think you substantially underestimate the Ache it will cause.', 'You need to call 911, you might not be able to get everything out.  Please, call them.', 'All it takes is one.  I know that sounds stupid and trite, but its true.  the first girl I hooked up with in college wasnt at a party, or in my dorm, or whatever.  I was a girl I met when another girl I was friends with dragged me to a religious event.  The girl saw me, decided she liked how I looked, gave me her email, and a few days later we hooked up.It happens in the strangest ways, you just have to put yourself out there.', 'Dude, those people were assholes, ignore them.  Shove your fingers down your throat, puke it all up, and call 911.  This isnt the right thing to do.  Youre going to Chest Pain a lot of people, and you dont need to do this.  ', 'Im glad youve decided to hold off.  I would strongly advise you to seek out professional therapy, I think it would be in your interests.  I know it can be difficult to approach your parents about something Hyperactive behavior that, but it is worth it.Im not going to tell you that money isnt important.  But I will say I believe you are overestimating its importance, and overestimating the amount you require to be happy.  I wish you luck.', 'Yes, you do want to wake up tomorrow.People wouldnt be happy if you died, theyd be devastated.  Your friends, your family?  They would be immeasurably Chest Pain.Guys will mature.  If you dont want to wait try dating guys a few years older.  And your friends, have you tried talking to them, telling them how you feel?  You might be surprised to find out they are more receptive than you thought theyd be.Most importantly, youre too young to die.  Things can and will get better for you.  Please dont do this.', 'I know.  But the thing is, it will never happen if you dont occasionally go out and do things or meet people.Really, just try saying hello to someone in each of your classes.  Try going to one club.  Or hanging out with your coworkers.  Just give it a shot.  Small steps.  Being Phobia, Social takes practice just Hyperactive behavior everything else.  But if you put yourself out there, eventually youre going to find that you do have a couple friends, and eventually youll find that there is a girl whos into you.', 'Its not worth dying over.  Really its not, no matter what you did.  Emotions come and go, Ache fades with time, and Ill bet you will be shocked by how many of those people arent Anger with you.  Some of them because they never were Anger (perhaps just frustrated or exhausted), others because theyve forgiven.Murderers get executed.  Im guessing you havent murdered anyone.  You dont deserve to die.']",Supportive
user-429,"['I smoked a lot of it, either to fall Somnolence faster or distract myself, then I got bored and now its kinda Hyperactive behavior I dont care about it.', 'Give us something else drowndead, at least let us know what do you have to say, please!', 'aaw, I guess you really love them based on what you said.Think of all the thing you will share in the next years, about seeing them grow up, learn, become more independent all the time, take some time to consider all the joy they will bring into your life and all the joy you will give them. Besides what you said about leaving the three of them alone, think about what **you** would loose by not being there to see them develop.', 'Its great, thanks !', 'Yeah, I think the easiest thing is to answer to the submitters you relate to, but IMHO just reading and saying you are there is helping a little bit.Just try your best 4thFloyd, Im very far from being an expert, but have been browsing SW for a while and just recently got confident enough to start responding. Dont push yourself too much, I often have to stop reading and start browsing something else.My responses may be far from being the best, but I try to compensate by answering quick, because it can get a bit slow here.', 'PM me whenever you want, it might take me a couple of hours to get back to you, but I really want to talk.', 'It seems none of the mods read this yet. I do know none of them is going to Hyperactive behavior this idea for many reasons.This sort of thing has been proposed many times.As much as we would want it happening, the reality is that we are not prepared to always having someone available to answer, and specially, theres no way we could manage this well - say, prevent trolling and spam, abusive messages, etc, all of which are much more common than youd think.Also, few of the people here are really trained to handle these situations, specially if were talking about live chat.For starters, you should read this:http://www.reddit.com/r/SWResources/comments/dmu24/why_shouldnt_i_share_my_contact_information/---**Edit:** If any of the other mods reads this, please Attention Deficit Disorder what you want, this comment is just to let people know why theyre not having SWs support on this.', 'Calm down. Youve done all you can do for now. Just try to get in touch with her, or with some member of her  family/friend who lives close.She might have been speaking literally when she said she was going to visit you.Couldnt she have meant his dads grave ?', 'Please dont do it. Of all the problems people have, being bad at socializing is probably one of the easiest to make right (its my main problem as well).Get on a plan to be more Phobia, Social. Things will be better once you do it. Just as with Mental Depression, one thing follows the next: the more you do to be more Phobia, Social, the easier it gets and the better it feels. Dont sit around and hope that people approach you. Be proactive, enjoy your progress, you will enjoy people if you do, and you will start to Hyperactive behavior yourself in the way.', 'Thanks for that, this is a great idea !', 'Would you mind telling us what happened in 2008 ?Why do you believe every person is evil ?', '> Hyperactive behavior theres something broken down inside of my that cannot be repaired.... Hyperactive behavior this is it, things arent going to get better.... i want to believe that you can help but i just dont see howIm glad you mentioned that. All we (at least me) can do for you is tell you what we know: The mindset you are in makes you think you are alone in a room, and the only thing you can do there is take your life, it makes you see walls that arent there and it might even create much more complex delusions. You just have to learn to ignore them when you are at the bottom, and they will slowly fade away. Life is much more wonderful than you can imagine now. You can do many things that right now seem impossible. The future is probably way brighter than it feels now. Its your **mindset** which keeps you from seeing it, it doesnt have to be your brain.Its just a phase you will get over if you stay with us. I know how hard it is, but you just have to focus on solving things one by one, step by step and before you know it everything will be great.', 'Hopefully we will. Its hard to understand, but well, we all have our problems, just some have it worse than others.', 'I really liked that. Good contribution.', 'You wont make anyone feel worse, I think everyone here is aware of the fact that the rest of us are Depressed mood/troubled as well.Reddit is the best drug in my short stash.', 'Dont feel bad about talking; Im here because I enjoy doing it.I dont think you cut *just because* and if you want to tell me what else is wrong, Im listening.Also are you in some sort of therapy ?', 'Yeah.I usually blame bullying and being ignored by people outside my family, but theres no excuse. I started to think some of us are born Hyperactive behavior this or that random stuff, thoughts and situations in our lives have molded us Hyperactive behavior this without any real problem, just a combination of things that turned out to form a Depressed mood person.', 'Hey! Garden slugs are people too!', 'Awesome! Ill PM you this week, cant really talk now ;)', '>Seems Hyperactive behavior theyd be better off without the burden.As real as that feels now, its far from true.Once you start to get ahold of yourself you will begin to see it. If they helped you, they probably care about you. Anything you ask them will be much less bad than taking you life.Even if they live with their parents, if you dont live with your girlfriend you should ask them, or have a night out of them, or ask someone to stay at your house. Dont spend a lot of time alone if you think you can snap and do it again.Believe me, wait until you get better and not only you will be a much better/stronger person, but you will also realize how ridiculous it is to attempt a Suicide.', 'Stop.I know all of the advice I gave you in previous threads seemed worthless, but just start **changing things** and see how it goes. You do have *some* free time right ? start doing something new, something you hadnt ever considered before. Thatll give your life some meaning. Throw a party at your house inviting people from work, just do it. Dont think about it, do it.To get something you never had, you have to do something you have never done before. Thats just an idea, think for some time a couple of your own, brainstorm, and avoid looking for excuses not to execute them.Why the fuck not ? One of them might turn out to be freaking great and youll never have the chance to know if you dont try.You can PM me for anything, I just want to be helpful. ', 'I relate a lot to your post.Cant tell anyone, and I made thousands of excuses for not doing it. Now that someone opened herself in that sense to me (shes probably worse than me) a couple of months ago I feel Hyperactive behavior shit because I didnt get myself to tell her. That window is probably closed, I dont think she wants to see me anymore partly because Im an idiot and partly because she doesnt think I understand her. But I really do.We still have to go on. There will be a chance to open yourself to someone, and I might have another opportunity, but keeping the mask for the moment and trying to mature enough to take the chance the next time.Im feeling exactly the same though Suicide isnt worth it. No one even imagines the awful time Im going through.PM me please.', 'Thank you very much for posting this. I would Hyperactive behavior to know about your progress anyway, please post something or even PM me once in a while if you dont mind.Thanks and keep your head up.', 'I concur :PIm a bit short of time lately but will get on it if you need anything, please dont hesitate to ask.A collection of good comments would be great, at least something for people to read when things get slow here and few answers are posted.Nice advocaaaaaaate!', 'I will quote you on that. Friggin awesome bro', 'Im glad I did, just report back later ok?', 'Change something.If you are not comfortable as you are now, start doing small changes on your life and enjoy your progress. It shouldnt be a Ache in the ass to change your life style, but more Hyperactive behavior something you are proud of. You just need some [motivation](getmotivated.reddit.com) to [exercise](loseit.reddit.com).I would love it if you send me a PM to talk a bit more or even more so, tell me what are you planning to do to improve yourself.Cheers!', 'I PMd you, could you read it ?', 'You shouldnt give the presents and all that so much importance. What do those Irritable Mood ?I dont give many presents and Im sure there are lots of other people who do the same thing as well. I really dont see the point of all the spending.If someone doesnt give you a present that doesnt Irritable Mood that person doesnt Hyperactive behavior you/care about you.', 'Dont take drugs while being in the wrong mindset, youll never have a good time, and any decision you take will hardly be in agreement with your sober you.You should tell us more anyway, what are the things that bother you ?', 'I know that there are lots of people in this world who wont give a shit about anyone, but that doesnt Irritable Mood you are not good enough for it. The circumstances we are in can make us feel worthless, insignificant, but that often isnt right. Is there any way for you to get another job ? Things can get tough, people can be Irritable Mood, but never value yourself in relation to that. It seems to me that you are doing your best, but nobody is nice enough to notice it.Keep doing your best, and try to get a new job. Even with no job, there are tons of alternatives that are better than Suicide (almost any alternative is better than that)', 'I really Hyperactive behavior this song of the day initiative. Thanks.', 'Try to just go along and take it easy. You are not obligated to do anything really, IMO getting at least a part time job will help with your Anxiety Mental Depression in the long run and you might meet interesting people.Find someone to talk to, and know that SW will be here for you whenever you need it.Growing up isnt easy but it can be fun as well.Feel free to post whenever you want or just PM me if you dont want to but just need to rant.', 'That has been created over 6 months ago. The user doesnt have any more posts.Dead end or any cyberpolice superhero has an idea ?**edit**: [this](http://www.youtube.com/user/l0la58) is probably her youtube channel and the last acitvity has been 17 hours ago.Damn Im good. Yeah I guess Google helped a little bit.', 'But I **would Hyperactive behavior** to say something. I am pretty sure you havent known all life can be.', 'You can do anything you want with your life. Defying your boundaries (socially specially) is what makes you aware of how much you are really capable of. Make it a habit, to push your own limits bit by bit and enjoy the progress at the same time.I think thats a good way to confront the shyness and slowly make it go away.Find other things to do besides school and reddit, it could be a sport, a course, a part time job or even volunteering in something. IMO, those are the things that later in life will feel Hyperactive behavior they have defined me, and at the same time you will meet new people, get your mind on something else, and force yourself to attack your shyness.Im far from being somebody worth listening to, but thats pretty much what Ive planned for myself, think about it and maybe youll Hyperactive behavior it.Just **knowing** you have a plan and that you are working on improving yourself and trying to have a better life feels much better.Cheers! And Id love you to send me a PM to talk about anything at all!', 'Maybe theres no one right way, but depends a lot on yourself which is the best way to go about it. You obviously have a much greater insight into yourself than I could, but trying to break the limits seems a good, universal, motivator.Sorry if it didnt help, but maybe you should keep the idea in your head. I find that when something is stuck in my head and I think about it regularly, even if most of the times Im not in the mood of doing it sometimes I am and end up doing it. Just think that every attempt, even if it ends in failure, is progress somehow if you learn something from it, because most of the times you wont loose much.', 'My humble point of view is that, sadly, sending hurtful things through PM is more of a desire to do damage, than a Crying Reflex, Abnormal for help or attention.I dont really understand the reason though.', 'PM me and well talk please.', 'With my mask on, Hyperactive behavior the rest of the year. The time when everyone goes to Hypersomnia gets a bit hard because my whole family gets together and we are about 20 people sleeping in 2 houses, and that doesnt leave much privacy.I usually get bad moods from september-october until february of the next year, but the holidays distract and shake me up so much they even feel Hyperactive behavior a rest within all my mess. Planning what to do on the holidays can Sedated state me a bit also.', 'Have you tried something new lately ? A sport, hobby, just anything to do on your free time ?If you are Hyperactive behavior me, you are going to start making up excuses Hyperactive behavior I dont have the time/money/personality etc. Dont do that. Just brainstorm for ideas and pick the best one, then go ahead with it. Force yourself to put that in motion.', 'The worse I can say is, you are still going on, you dont Hyperactive behavior your job, the pricks in your life turned you down, and all of those things, but you are still working and didnt break down into an average Depressed mood person, which is admirable.Why did you drop out of college ?You sound smart, maybe changing jobs could be a good thing, working somewhere you could escalate positions.Is having a car completely necessary ? Youd be able to save a little more if you sold it.', 'You are being overly pessimist about it, thats my point, Mental Depression makes it hard to see the bright side of things, and even if you can see some of the positive things, you will most likely underrate them.I think that your interaction with this girl sent you into a bad chain of thoughts. The planet doesnt have feelings, you are not taking away other peoples food by eating, if the system is unbalanced it isnt your fall.Its hard when you give your very best for someone and that person doesnt appreciate it, but thats how it is and it is way too complex to answer what happened with ""I dont have any value"". Look around you, people are ungrateful, they just are. Many will never really appreciate what you do for them, but dont take it out on yourself.As nice as she might seem, theres always the possibility that she wouldnt appreciate the biggest help you could give, it has nothing to do with how you are.Besides, caring enough for other people to help them out is one of the most honorable things you can do, not only you deserve to live but you deserve to live happily.', 'Are you ok ? Please wake up your husband and make him get you to a hospital. You are in serious danger otherwise.', '> If i get away with it I will live on and be more happyDont be so sure about that. You know you are not ""stable"" (as I am not either) so we have to learn to have a clear mind or at least *act* Hyperactive behavior we do no matter what. If you did that, I guarantee nothing good will come out.We all get bad urges sometimes, but resisting them is what keeps us alive and many times makes us stronger in some sense.Please dont do anything you could regret. Your life, as well as everyone elses, has a lot of value. Even if you dont feel it at this moment, it will hit you at some point.Many of us know how that *numbness* is, the best thing to do seems to be just being nice even if you dont feel Hyperactive behavior it, if you dont do good at least dont load your conscience with bad things.Get help, do as much as you can to change your thinking for the better. Youll pull through, just keep on. Dont do it. Please stay with us. ', 'You did right by applying for a job. Look for more things to do that will force you to meet people, you will eventually find someone nice, good initiative and keep going!You are on the right path, just stop caring about what douchebags Hyperactive behavior that are getting, it wont do you any good and theres no point in envying others. Nobody is perfect, he probably wont appreciate what he has, even if he gets what he wants.Improve yourself, love yourself, love your life, and you will be a thousand times happier than that ass. I had people Hyperactive behavior him in my life too, its useless to get mad, that way hed be winning.The important thing is that you are probably better than him. I dont think either of you have real friends, but Im sure he never will. ', 'What about getting a simple job to keep you entertained for a bit while still getting the Disability ?Its always a sad outcome, dont even consider it.', 'Hopefully. The heat is so fucking Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder as well.', 'Hey, want to talk about it ?You are doing something for yourself, that takes courage. Going from Numbness to a hurricane of feelings is a huge shake, nobody enjoys that, but this bit of suffering will seem nothing compared with the joy youll get as the bad feelings fade away. Itll get easier. There are ups and downs so dont rush into thinking you are getting worse when the blues hit you, and the downs will feel long, but every time you are there remember you can only go up.Cheers :)', 'I think I can say Im on the way to that. My story is somewhat similar to friend_of_the_show66, and weighted 176lbs (59"" too) 5 months ago. Im at 165 lbs now but much more built, by seriously doing a sport for the first time in my life, and enjoying it at the same time. Physically, Im not where I want to be yet, but feel Hyperactive behavior Im getting there. In other aspects, well, its all a journey you have to enjoy, some things will make you stronger, some will just fuck you, but all you need is the right motivation.tl;dr: I havent, totally, but feel Hyperactive behavior its possible and getting there slowly. The more you do to get better, the better youll feel. We always underrate the benefit we will get by doing things for ourselves, so little things can make a big difference actually. **Yes you can**', 'Wait a sec there.I am really interested in reading more about you.Please elaborate.', 'Exactly what I meant. Thanks.', 'Yeah Hyperactive behavior I didnt have stuff to do. Sometime later.', 'Like I said in your previous thread:>I think everyone gets some retribution for getting into SW, no matter what do they do in here.This is the nicest communities to which I have belonged.As for myself, Ive been pretty bad the last couple of months (just my time of the year), and even though I havent seriously considered Suicide in over 5 years, the Shock of actually thinking of leaving this world sticks with you for a long time.When I started browsing SW I felt so inspired I felt I really had to take part. Only a short time ago I acquired the experience and courage to actually post and try to help out (also feeling Depressed mood makes me empathize more with the people in here).Im far from being a good helper here, and I certainly dont believe I will change anyones life, but Im doing my best and this is one of the little things that make me proud of myself, even if done anonymously.tl;dr, feels a little less bad man.', 'Tell us a little bit more. Whats going on ?', 'I cant edit my comment for some reason. I wanted to tell you I just sent you a PM. Lets talk.', 'Its amazing how many of us are still hiding.You didnt waste our time. If we read your post is because we care and its fulfilling to try to help someone Hyperactive behavior you, because we feel you.Opening your thoughts isnt easy,  but you should make it a goal of yours. Look for one of the people who love you and pick someone who has been through it. That person will be surprised, surely, but will completely understand you. That takes courage to do, but its a great thing to manage to get yourself to do it.That is the second step. The first was to post this.as writngrl said, having written to us is a great thing, you should consider this an achievement somehow.', 'Well, I dont think I know enough to give you an answer but that must always come hundreds of miles before you start planning on taking your life.And I dont think its ""Fuck it, Ill go to the psych ward"", itd actually be a positive thing if you reach that point. Your wife should understand that if you do it you are doing it mainly for their sake.', 'Dont feel bad about yourself for what you didnt have with her, its never that ""one isnt enough for the other"", its that you just werent compatible enough, and her leaving you doesnt Irritable Mood he us better than you.If you work on it, you will meet other girls. Maybe the first girl you see isnt as good for you as your ex, maybe the second isnt either, but you can get there and giving up is not the way to achieve results!Start living for yourself a little more, do things you used to do before, or try other things that interest you.Keep going, the struggle is worth it.PM if you want to. (probably wont be online tonight but Ill answer asap)', '>settling for what you can getMore Hyperactive behavior getting what you settle on.You want to make changes, then tell us a bit more about you lifestyle. Age for example.', 'Just dont.There are lots of things for which you should still be living. Just because you dont see them right now doesnt Irritable Mood you wont in a while.If you live alone, maybe it would be a good idea to hide the pills separately, otherwise give them to someone you trust.Feel free to PM and please report back.', 'Oh. Im not in the states either, South America actually. You are going to find a good way out of this. If you have any ideas, Id Hyperactive behavior to hear them. Bringem on!So where are you ?', 'Thanks, Im glad I could help, your post got me pretty motivated to write something so I just did.This sort of comments are the best things I got from reddit (and the internet)Ill PM you soon=)', 'Sup?', 'Ugh. Telling the parents? I do think they care, but some people just dont know how to handle this sort of situation. I could be wrong here, but in my case talking to my parents could cause a wide range of reactions (many mixed emotions probably).Do talk to them if you want, but be ready and know that in the desesperation and helplesness, they can react somewhat weirdly.', 'Feeling Hyperactive behavior you are running with your head in a bag right ?Well, some of us can trip and fall, but many will start an uphill race I guess.There is no point in worrying yet!', 'I read it.Try to sit back and see your situation from another angle, there are lots of things going through your brain, which is still developing. Its not nearly as bad when you see it from a different mindset. Dont do things you would regret afterwards. I have bad mood swings and although I cant really tell how am I doing at the time, it helps to maintain your life while working on the things that bother you.', 'Hes right.btw, nothing to your name ? Though Im young, I have no material belongings either, not even the computer Im writing from nor the bed where I sleep. And its pretty easy for me to see the bright side of that one, imagine the worries and responsibilities, think about most people in the US, they have lots of things to their names but couldnt pay their debts by selling that stuff.The sun always comes out again (""*Siempre que llovio par\xc3\xb3*"", *""Every time it rained, it stopped""*). I love that phrase, and it couldnt be more accurate.The world is Abnormal behavior but good things happen every second, but we have to move forward in order to take advantage of those opportunities.Farewell brother!edit, formatting, etc', 'Why are you considering Suicide ?At least post your story, nobody here will comment about methods.', 'Chill, its going to be ok. Cuts are supposed to Chest Pain right ? It wouldnt be normal if they didnt. You will be alright. ', 'How old are you ?I stopped going on vacations with my family two years ago because of that. Besides not having fun and almost getting the point to hating them, I lack the Phobia, Social abilities to meet anyone on a trip, that didnt even cross my mind, so I ended up spending most of the time alone to avoid fighting.Just hang on there.', 'It seems you are being successful in getting yourself together, dont throw it all away for momentary times of weakness.Know that feelings often are based on nothing wrong about ourselves or our lives, learn to ignore those that are irrational (Hyperactive behavior now).Keep on living, Im sure you had a lot of good times the past year, think that youll get more and more of those if you continue with your progress. You have proven you are strong, now enjoy what youve achieved !', 'Waiting for it to get better isnt the shortest path. You have to pick yourself up and do something about your situation while you wait. Tell us a bit more, thats a way to start.Please, if you dont do it for yourself do it for us.', 'That video is awesome. Great contribution. Thank you!', 'Sorry if I sounded a bit harsh. In fact, its great to see people trying to get more involved. Thanks for that, but from what we know from proffessionals (Im not one myself but some of the mods are). The main issue here is giving evil people to contact other people in need with no way for contributors to know about it. IMHO the fact that most of us are not proffessionals isnt so important, but making others believe someone will be there 24/7 is, and a considerable one.I would love to hear more ideas about some way to improve this"" service"" SW provides, but sticking always to what very experienced users recommended, you have my full support and help. Thans.', 'Why? what happened ?', '>Millions of people are born and die every day, my death is not important.That is just not right. Lots of people are born and die every day, but thats not important. The important part is that your world (as your friends and familys) is composed of very few people. Think about how many births and deaths have happened close yo you or the people who you care about. Those are the important ones for you and them. The rest dont matter.Just take a break, I know you want the thoughts to stop crumbling your mind, but if you really care about them the least you can do is give yourself to think about it some more time. Try to get some Hypersomnia.Christmas isnt nearly as important for them as you are, Im sure, it doesnt matter what time of the year you choose, it will feel Hyperactive behavior an unbearable Ache to them.', 'Nobody could have noticed about me at that time, and I was *very* good at hiding it, for better or for worse.Though I probably wouldnt be able to tell when someone is **there** or just having a bad time right at that moment or something Hyperactive behavior that.That is awesome!', 'Whats going on now ?Has something changed ?', 'Its ok, I just PMd you.', 'Wait! Whats going on ? What sort of improvement did you expect ? ', 'Just perfect. Your rock.IAmAaron, you should seriously consider something Hyperactive behavior this. Give yourself another chance. Suicide is always an option, living again isnt.', '> Also drug use isnt really harming yourself, now if he was taking pills and alcohol to possibly kill himself then yea.It **does** harm, and many times it is an expression of self hate, even if it seems to be just to have a good time.', '>because neither of you can help the other out of their respective emotional lows right now.Sadly, I never lost the hope to support her, to save her without exposing myself, and that idea is so attractive to me I cant leave it behind. I know people might be fucked up in ways that are not reachable by me, but I want to know that at least I did my best for her. I dont think Ill attempt Suicide if she does, but thatd be by far the toughest shit of my life.I plan on keeping the few friends with whom I can be myself and let the rest drift apart (that sums up to one, maybe two right now but fuck the rest)  Nice post man, thanks', 'Just click on my username, and in that page therell be a link on the right that says ""send DKSchrutte a PM"" or something Hyperactive behavior that with a little envelope next to it. You can check the responses by clicking on the envelope on top of the page at any time while browsing reddit (that shows you both PMs and message responses. itll look red if there are responses you didnt read yet)We can talk here though, I dont mind.I repeat, Im pretty sure I know where you are now, but it will go away in some time, theres no need to take drastic measures. You want to redeem yourself by doing this, to show those people that you care and that you are sorry, and you feel Hyperactive behavior thats the best way to prove it. There are hundreds, thousands of other ways to try to get those people back, and even moving on is far, far better than attempting.As SQLwitch said, harming yourself will make your mistake even worse. It doesnt make sense from any logical point of view. No one will benefit from it. Theres only more Ache through that door.If you are unsettled by this whole thing, you care; and if you care, you can do things to redeem yourself.Im sure you are a nice person. We need more of you.', 'Feel ya.I feel Im on top of th world at times, and then Hyperactive behavior the most insignificant piece of shit there is. The cycles usually start slow, but then it gets to the point where I have 3 or 4 Violent mood swings in a day. Circumstances almost never help. When it gets to that point, I end up being so Confusion I dont even feel anything at all, Im sort of Hyperactive behavior a psychopath. Trying as hard as I can to think rationally gets me through with little damage to my relationships, but Ive been pretending for so many years it sucks.Back in 40 mins, have to go. PM me or sth', 'I wasnt really familiar with that, sorry. How about looking for something abroad or in another state ? Keep your hopes up.', 'Hey! slow down!responses can take a while here, sadly, much more than 20 minutes some times.Its been only five days. You have to wait for it to get better with time, and it will eventually. Continue with your daily life, talk to people as often as possible, you might even meet someone better !SW is here and so am I, you can PM or post at any time, about anything you want to talk about. I am feeling pretty lonely so a bit of talk wouldnt Chest Pain me (to say the least). Seriously, just keep on moving and you can contact me at any time.Keep your head up!', 'Any more background please ?', 'It is upsetting, but the part that makes me feel more upset is that they seem to be doing this through PM, not comments.The more reports/messages we get, the faster well be able to handle things Hyperactive behavior this. Mods cant check all comments before anyone sees them either, so report any suspicious/negative thing you see and well make a decision asap.Thanks.', 'There must be *something* you can say about yourself ?You Hyperactive behavior anime dont you ? You must be in your 20s I guess. You do have stuff to tell, theres no need to be specific just let me know what is it that you dont Hyperactive behavior about your life -or yourself- before even planning to do something Hyperactive behavior that.You have nothing to loose by talking to us, but you might earn a desire to live. Notice I didnt say ""life"" but ""desire to live"", it IS possible.', 'Whats bothering you ?', '>I want someone to hold me while I Hypersomnia.We all do, and the chance of finding that someone depends on how much you do for reaching that goal that could help you get better.', 'Hey, none of us has answers for everything (much less me), we just provide opinions.If you dont feel Hyperactive behavior talking about it with him, **make the reason clear**, really speak your mind because just avoiding the topic might be taken in a negative way by him. If you honestly tell him its too much for you, hell totally understand I think.Im guessing hes probably under heavy medication, keep that in mind if anything he says or does seems a bit odd.Also people around him are in a stressful situation, their attitudes may seem strange and say things they dont really Irritable Mood. (regarding your grandparents)A couple more updates wouldnt be bad, youre taking it Hyperactive behavior a champ ",Supportive
user-430,"['The only advice I can give you is to force yourself into Phobia, Social situations. Ive always been an introvert and I always hated the fact that I could not make friends. Hopelessly looking for a magical solution, Ive tried to read up on Phobia, Social interaction, persuasion and seduction.Basically the only thing I do to feel better and that helps me progress, is forcing myself into Phobia, Social situations. It maybe seems as not much, but just talking to people makes you understand yourself and others in a deeper sense. Just go out, do something and focus on having a good experience. When you take the bus, smile at people you Hyperactive behavior. If they smile back, youll feel different. Talk to a random stranger about a random thing and see what happens. Worst case, theyll move on, best case, youll have a new friend and maybe a girlfriend.Eventually, youll meet someone that will be worth the challenge and youll have romance.', 'Go outside, talk to someone, magic can happen.', 'You deserve to live, you deserve good. Im sorry this has happened to you. Please go to the police or find a real life person and talk about what has happened. Dont drown in the pain, you are a good person and deserve to be treated right.If you ever need a talk about anything, PM me. Im a random person on the internet that cares about your wellbeing.', 'Same story over here, except I started taking classes again a couple of years later and managed to get my degree.', 'I used to be Depressed mood and thought the same thing about death. Ive decided to stop actively looking for death, but still welcome it when it shows it face.Lives not easy for everyone. If you need a talk, PM me.', 'We all do strange things because of many reasons. Experimenting is not bad, but you have to accept the fact that sometimes you do things you will regret.The OCD definitely enlarges feelings of Guilt and feeling ""dirty"". I suggest you talk to someone (maybe a counsellor) about the lingering Guilt.You are not a bad person! We all did things we regret and we all have our scars. Today is the day you can make everything worthwhile. Get up and be the good person that I know you are!', 'Dont believe that for a second!Things may seem difficult right now, but it will be better in a while. Time does heal all wounds.', 'Congratulations! Lots of small steps will make giant leaps.And never forget: Youre awesome!', 'Maybe finding a greater goal in life would help make things better?', 'The same thing happened to me, but was lucky enough to go back to uni and graduate. Hold on! Life is filled with opportunities and people are here to help!', 'So am I!', 'Super idea!', 'Dont worry. Teenage life is rough on most people. It isnt always easy, but the best thing you can do is: be yourself. Like minded people always find each other and people Hyperactive behavior real people with real personalities, not jersy shore dickheads. Remember: things will get better.Normally I wouldnt recommend using comebacks or so, because usually it only makes things worse. Or they have a better comeback to break yours or they get violent. One thing that I sometimes do is basic body language that says I dont care about them and theyre not worth my time.For example: look them straight in the eyes, move your eyes slowly to their feet, and look back up. Then just turn around and go on Hyperactive behavior nothing ever happened.']",Ideation
user-431,"['I know exactly what you mean. Ive dealt with Mental Depression for maybe 13 years now, and its never pretty. Tried to run away, kill myself, get lost in substance abuse, stop caring and just do whatever I wanted...nothing seemed to help for long, and even after starting the journey of finding the right antidepressants, I had a few psychological breakdowns.Then, after a particularly bad stay in the hospital, I stopped making plans for fixing anything. I stopped worrying about what would happen if I had an episode in the wrong place. I stopped putting people around me on the spot by telling them everything I was going through, since they always seemed to back off, afraid to make things worse. I started living my life one day at a time.My typical day involves a bit of work, a bit of play, and a lot of relaxing on my computer, seeing if anyone online needs help with something. Bored? Gaming. Sad? Music and chats. Randomly energetic? Ill probably be either coding or taking a walk. The point is, you can take things as they come, whatever may be in the past or future. Your time is now, and only you know what you want to do with it.I know this may not help you the way it helped me, but if nothing else, you have this crazy, messed up, split personality of a stranger who wanted to at least take the time out to say: You can make it, I believe in you.']",Attempt
user-432,"['Sounds Hyperactive behavior youre on the right track. Good luck! ', 'I didnt want you to refresh your post, and see those red words below-- ""there doesnt seem to be anything here""... a bit too ominous, a bit too close to the mark when you feel that way. Ive attempted Suicide before-- and it wasnt unsuccessful by much. I know how awful it feels to be depressed. I hope that because of my own experience with similar feelings, that you will believe me when I tell you that shit isnt as bad as you think. Its Hyperactive behavior... a fucking trick or something. An illusion. Even when it sucks, you gotta remind yourself of this. Also, remember that random folks you never even met care about you, and want you to be alright. Im not much of a people person, but I want you to be alright. When other people read this, theyll tell you the same thing. Now heres my answer to your question:Yeah. Call up your folks and yak at them. Just say-- ""Mom and Dad, I feel Hyperactive behavior shit. Its nearing up on being more than I can handle, and I just need to tell you that Im doing my best."" Or whatever feels right, but do it.After that, go out. Being active in pretty much any manner helps much more than you would think. Make a small adventure-- go on a walk, and make it your mission to find some random free thing that you can put in your apartment. If you can, take a picture of it, and put it here. Well upvote the crap out of it. Good luck, talk to you soon.', 'Dont know if its weird to check up on ones Secret Santa or not, but I was curious about you. Saw this, so I figured Id comment. I deal with depression, and have been dealing with it for many years now. It has been more than a little while since Ive been in Drug abuse school, but Id Hyperactive behavior to think I still remember those times enough to be helpful. By 11th grade, its not unusual for people to be kind of moving in their own directions. Everyone is figuring SOMETHING out, whatever it may be-- that school sucks, that their town sucks, that they have the wrong friends, that they dont have friends, that theyre finally going to have to DO something with themselves or get stuck, etc. Its Hyperactive behavior ""Realization Time."" Maybe youre there, maybe not. Dont Increased Sweating it-- the point is that this makes lot of ripples and splashes in what has been an overall predictable experience up until this point. So your acquaintances are now distant and rude... without knowing anything else, I would first guess that theyre re-defining themselves in some way, Hyperactive behavior how you do when youre trying to end a conversation by getting near the door or turning slightly to the side. I might be wrong. They might also just be Social fear about moving on to wherever or whatever, and theyre cutting ties with folks on their own terms, before those ties are cut for them. This happens. Right now, you may be used to thinking of friends in terms of ""life-long"" friends, but thats primarily because youve been herded together as a group through school for much of your life. But as circumstances change, the people around you do as well-- going to college, finding a job in a bigger city, traveling with a job; these all bring new people into play in your life. In time, theyll probably be more significant as well, because youll be sharing experiences with them, and not with some person you knew in Drug abuse school. So I dont know-- you might not have friends right now. You might be ""between"" friends. Its an opportunity. Do something with it. Go yak at some people you dont ordinarily talk to. Start conversations in beast mode. Confidence (even fake confidence) pretty much covers all possible fuck-ups, handicaps, etc you may have in meeting/talking to people. Cant Stress that enough. Its kind of funny, because I remember Drug abuse school absolutely sucked for me, but looking back, it had the potential to be ridiculously easy if Id ever had a bit of courage/confidence about the whole thing. Took a long time to figure it out, so maybe the freakin book I just wrote will save you some time and trouble. Good luck with it, let me know how it goes.  ', 'A young person in my small town recently committed Suicide. I believe they may have felt much the way you do. Although this person didnt believe it was possible, their life meant a great deal to many others-- parents, siblings, classmates, etc. He was convinced nobody cared for him, that nobody was there to share his troubles, or who could understand how he felt. The reality was that many people were there, and they did care, but that he just didnt see it yet. Surely there are people at school you might Hyperactive behavior to know better, but do you always express this openly? Youre not the only one who doesnt. There are kids who think similarly to you, who understand you, who might be your friend, who can help you along. Growing up is a process of finding these people slowly along the way. Give things time, youll come through. Message me if youd Hyperactive behavior to talk. Good luck!']",Attempt
user-433,"['As someone who is just Hyperactive behavior your friend, she needs someone to comfort her and to tell her that SOMEONE in this world loves and cares for her. She needs to come to accept she will need consoling, you cant make her go because it is for some a scary thing to go too. No one wants to relive the Depressed mood parts of life or be told ""You are kinda fucked up in this way, here some stuff to try to get better""', 'Please dont do it sweetie. I dont know what you have gone through but Im sure someone will miss you even if you dont think they will.  Im guilty of thinking that myself most days. Even though I try to kill myself on occasion, its not worth it. Life as meaningless and hard as it may seem, will one day be better. Im sure youre mom and brother will miss you and, although I dont know you, Ill miss you and the rest of this sub reddit will miss you. So please, even if you think it is a good idea, dont do it tonight. Instead, talk to a friend or vent to me if you dont want to talk to a friend of yours. Ill talk to you when you need someone, I promise.', 'whew. okay. I messaged him too but I guess hes too shy/i am not sure what  to message back.', 'I greatly appreciate you going back into my posts to get to know me better. I always had robotics as my comforting net in Drug abuse school but when I was there my boyfriend of the time (now ex) always got Anger at me for being so interested in a ""mans world""  I get so self conscious there now from it especially since one person who abused me I met through robotics. My college doesnt have a robotics club unfortunately. :/', 'My mom is really Nausea and I dont want to ask for money for a laptop because I know she needs it. Not only that, her minivan could die at any time.', 'Please dont give up, I can relate to what you are going through. I have been though something similar. Please, if anything, find someone from your university that you trust and confine in them, that is what I did and it saved me with out getting the cops involved. I called the cops on the first person who sexually abused me (Ive had 3 people sexually harm me) and although it saved me from being near him again, I will admit it is scary but well worth it. Please do something to get you out of that situation before you harm yourself. PM me if you want and I will give you my email, facebook what ever you need and I will talk to you whenever you feel hopeless. I promise things do get better.', 'Hey... I know its a Depressed mood time of year and all and I cant offer much advice seeing Ive been suicidal and almost acting on it for at least 2 weeks but I will be here to listen and talk too. PM me and tomorrow night if you want to talk more or have a pen pal though Christmas, I can give you my email. But one thing I ask is that you dont do it. Someone will always care even if they dont seem Hyperactive behavior they do.', 'Hey, I know shit seems hard and that people are the biggest assholes but after reading your post in r/confessions, I think you are a strong woman with her priorities strait. Sure it may not be a job most people would consider but you are just trying to survive. I think you can do it and have your child grow up to be everything you want her to be. Please PM me if you want to talk.', 'Ive always wanted Overlord with the Raising hell expansion, and Overlord 2.  I was going to get my bf crysis 2 for Christmas. A Virus named tom looks great too if youre willing to give those up :)  Thank you for your generosity!', 'Things get better. I had to find the right places and the right major for some of my Anxiety Mental Depression to go away. I know its not  much but if you ever need someone to talk too, Im generally always online.', 'We never fight...  I got selfish and wanted time with him when he wanted alone time...I feel really bad now that he is grumpy...', 'Dropped a message in the ask box from my tumblr. Waiting for a response.', 'Thanks everyone for your kind words.', 'Are you sure? They havent posted in 6 hours...', 'Hey, Im sorry for all of the trolls and the assholes. Ive seen them on many occasions and I have been at the brunt of their harassment. But I am sure there are many people who care about you and want to help you. If I was on reddit during the time of this incident I would have done all I could to tell the trolls to fuck off and would have defended you. If you are still on, I would Hyperactive behavior to talk with you. I recently lost my close friend I think I know how you might feel right now...']",Attempt
user-434,"['Theres a few distant cousins and friends of theirs I talk to.', 'It can be a zen experience', 'lonely for 20 years, set in my eccentric ways. I seem to be one in 7 BILLION, no one on earth can relate to my mindset. and even if just one person did I wouldnt trust them, think Im destined to become a stat', 'Its not that; cant get out of my own head. I cant function anymore. I need to kill the desire, went for help in July. Wanted some pill to take that away, there isnt any pill that makes you want nothing.', 'see comment to Kattekan', 'I trust no one, words I live by.', 'She can be so difficult. I know she doesnt always take her meds but Im in no position to force her.Seems Hyperactive behavior every other week I have to take her to the ER for something, last week it was for UTI which she didnt even have and they sent her home.', 'its the truth from my perspective. [deleted]', 'Ive been reading things Hyperactive behavior this from the start among other horror stories in a support group on MDJunction. Good articles; and thanks for your insight. ', 'already there, now i drink alone everyday to kill the Ache', 'Yes, shes even told me she does this, I just dont know how to tell the difference between whats real and what isnt.', 'Hate it here, women are so shallow around here, gold diggers and I got nothing going for me.96% of women wont date a shorter man....Im 53, that why I dont deserve a good life.', 'Youre just a big baby.', 'Im a truck driver and it owns, countless hours alone with your thoughts and no boss as long as you have good work ethic to get shit done and get home on time.Somedays Im on fire and have made as many as 6 stops on less than 30 mins, no socializing, just go in with no fear and do your job.', 'Then I dont sleep. This drug helped me greatly in 2008-10, guess Im getting tolerance for anti-depressants, on 4 diff kinds and none are helping. Still having fits of crying multiple times a day. Cant live Hyperactive behavior this...', 'be strong till you can escape... and never look back', '39, last year', 'Im short, bald, false teeth, limp dick, drug addict with mental illness, whos gonna want that?', 'Tracy is Hyperactive behavior a sister to me but I never had a sister. Things can be tense between us since we messed around sexually when we were young kids and I was the instigator of it.', 'Would love to try it and OD on it', '50 miles away, I live right out side Harrisburg, PA. Horrible area, rude people, stuck up women and the city is crumbing with the influx of blacks and hispanics stealing our jobs and women.', 'Same generic words Im always told...How I feel right now...ok, lets see. Worthless, burden on those around me, isolated, depressed, suicidal. Just got done bawling with my head in my hands between my legs, roommate came in to check on me and threw her out of my room for making me cry.', 'Get up at the same time everyday', 'Thats an attractive option but i couldnt ever Chest Pain her', 'She takes Prozac and Seroquel; she wont let me in anymore than that', 'and thats a thing, i dont trust anyone.Im naive by nature and easily taken advantage of, it seems wrong to be dishonest, yet i see so many ppl doing it and doing well because of it.', 'her Paranoia is extreme. I cant be seen in public with her, Hyperactive behavior Im some sort of dirty little secret', 'it all goes well till they have to look down at me', 'wimmins are the problem, they hate me', 'Ive made arrangements to donate my body to science several years ago so there wouldnt be any cost to anyone for my disposal. It makes me cringe to think what theyll do with it but what will I care when dead.Its a small thing but it brings me comfort should I ever do the dirty deed. Im not close to my family, or anyone for that matter so I dont Anxiety about emotionally Depressed mood anyone. Hanging from a tree is victimless.', 'Like a failure', 'I was young then and the farm equipment was auctioned off in the mid-80s and the land was rented out to another farmer.It was 40 acres of fields, pasture, and woods. Before I was born it was mainly chicken and egg farm but we had a few cows in pasture in Pennsylvania Dutch area. I always liked the chickens, when about 12 yrs old I had some of my own to raise. I would sit in the chicken house and just watch them interact with each other. Roosters fascinate me in the way they strut and act Hyperactive behavior tough shit in front of their hens.We had a butcher shop in the barn for the cows.There was one time when i was about 6-7 years old and we had a few pigs by chance. I told them not to butcher that one pig because she was pregnant. Well she got butchered anyway and had 7-8 piglets in her. My father said he should have listened to me.', 'love her unconditionally and roll with it or it wont work', 'There was nothing you could have done to stop this. Call this number and theyll clean up the mess 1-866-xxx-xxxx.I made arrangements to donate my body many years ago.', 'once im hanging, there would be no way of being able to hold myself up. I can keep my sense when drinking, may not remember well next day but my mind is intact', 'Last week on sunday, I have no memory of monday after.', 'It was $340 a day for me, didnt help me much actually', 'Its so cliche but a woman that I could love would bring me purpose. And it seems unattainable at this point in my life. Im a pathetic loser.', 'Thanks thats what I wanted to know', 'I have a plan for next week so none of it matters', 'Love is powerful. So many times Ive said that we were finished yet I always go back for her. Sometimes think I need her more then she needs me, she makes me a better man; a better person.', 'I need to be forced but Ill lose the little Ive built here...thinking', 'This sub-reddit is too depressing to read for me but am aware of it.And I agree that humans make life more complicated than it should be, I often wish I was a sparrow and knew nothing of this human world. I want nothing more than to search for food, build a nest, sing for a mate, and raise my young.Nice story about the desert, I have no knowledge of deserts. ', 'yes. reckless behavior. Like pushing the limits of my car going across the turnpike bridge here, once hit 140 and was drunk off my ass. What a rush.', 'Cant maintain friendships, dunno how', 'Youre right I cant accept myself, I need someone else to first.', 'Ive hatched several plans over the years and this is most recent. A few moments of Abnormal dreams Ache and then is over...Hyperactive behavior a gun shot in the mouth or bleeding out or inhaling helium to i pass out and suffocate. Suicide by cop seems Hyperactive behavior a good option, out in a blaze of glory while fighting for my life against ""the man"" whos always held me back.When young I hated my parents for giving me life. When I was 11 I wanted to jump, in teens it was drug overdose but half hearted, in 20s i was ok, now in late 30s i hate life...its too lonely. If only i had someone to care about.i wanted the childfree lifestyle and got it but its an Depersonalization life, and thats how i see religion; its Depersonalization and unfulfilling, same as Gods so-called love. Need something I can touch and see, my faith just isnt there given my background of studying the history of the universe and earth, could write a book on my view of earth history but whats the point? Money isnt important to me and some people seem BAFFLED by that.Its Hyperactive behavior that i know so much about history and evolutionary theory that God just cannot exist. it makes no sense. The world would be a better place with less people and I can contribute by ending my life. ', 'Same here, Lithium has been great for me; so much so that I dont need any other meds for Bipolar Disorder. The only side effect Ive had from it Dehydration when I dont drink enough water. Im also Type II diabetic.', 'Do the same thing but usually dont send it after some over-analyzing. ', 'Nothing specific, just lonely. always lonely. I put myself out there, I talk to women yet its one rejection after another, been this way for years. 53 is the reason. Im a good person and always do the right things but no one for me', 'Shes been diagnosed as rapid-cycle Bipolar Disorder with pshyotic- something-or-other.', 'I understand, yesterday I went to the local park. There was a fair amount of people there. Kids in the playground, couples playing frisbee or just walking together. Everyone there had someone but I was walking alone, on the swing alone....just wanted to enjoy the nice day but the crippling Sad mood wouldnt allow it.', 'No I wasnt banned but it was suggested that I find other resources by /u/DDbb00. ', 'What keeps me here? I lack the courage to pull the proverbial trigger. Some would say it takes more courage to live than to die. For me its more Hyperactive behavior too Social fear to live and too afraid to die. I cant remember how the saying goes exactly.I hold out hope that somehow, someway Ill find someone who I can adore and that Ill experience mutual love; not just another one-sided relationship. (There have been so many.) The truth about being alone in life hit me hard and not sure Ive fully accepted it. There has to be someone out there whos Hyperactive behavior me, who thinks the same way I do, and has the same wants and needs. But I cant find her...seems Ive been searching my whole life and Im tired. Theres no one for me.Recently Ive read this: http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html  and its given me a lot to think about...', 'Zoloft is crap, get on Lithium.', 'Its done the same to me. Music is my biggest trigger', 'Ive had a real bad Irritable Mood lately, snapped at just about every one of my co-workers this past week and its almost my favorite time of year, not quite cool enough yet.', 'The national one said they cant help me... truly wtf', 'Maybe I have some hope someone will reach out and do right things right. .00001% chance but ya know, when all else has failed, why not? Nothing to lose.', 'Mine seems to be able to take the abuse, the Ache, and there is no history of cancer in my family within living memory, always thought my bloodline was a good one genetically as most of the family makes it into their 90s, but Dementia is a problem for those.Ive given my love away so many times only to have it rejected, heartbreak is all too familiar to me. Makes me feel worthless to live a life with no purpose.', 'No one is close to me. I speak of my roommate who will notice. Ive made arrangements to donate my body to science many yrs ago and will be leaving the number for her to call to get the mess cleaned up.Travel: Not really possible as Im lower class, but have traveled regionally in my yrs here. Id Hyperactive behavior to drive from Pennsylvania to California though.Ive loved many times and always lost, its horrible to be hated by women. ', 'I have no friends and virtually no family, no one would notice Im gone except my employer. And within three weeks Id be replaced there and forgotten. Going to pass-out drunk now so i can be ready for another day of unfulfillingly working for someones dreams to come true.', 'Zoloft 50mg and Lithium 900mg. I love that the Lithium takes my emotions and desires away.', 'I always wanted to try therapy. Being of the lower class makes it difficult to keep a roof over my head let alone an expensive therapist.Im a therapists worst nightmare. Full of ""what ifs"" and ""yea but""s. hear they dont Hyperactive behavior that sort of thing. Even considered voluntarily/involuntarily committing myself, but the thought of being locked up doesnt appeal to me.', 'She lives 15 mins away, thats acceptable to me. I come from a broken home; my parent split when I was 13. Not much of an impact on me since I lived on the family farm with great aunt and uncle. Both were dead by the time I was 20 yrs old.My Mother is not real; she didnt raise me.Im on several meds for major Mental Depression disorder, none seem to be helping. Im obsessed with death and suicide, I dont belong here.', 'Climbed the ladder and tied extension cord to my branch, its ready. What 2-3 mins of Panic Attacks and its over, no knife in my pocket to cut cord. I just gotta drink some more to get the balls', 'Lonely, ppl hate me unless they want a dollar from me or new member to church congregation. ', 'Im 120 pounds and drink almost half a bottle of whiskey every night, tolerance sucks. At least its killing me slowly...along with the 2-pack/day cigarette habit. Somethings gotta give.', 'Its in the works but nothing yet. I saw a doctor on Wednesday for an unrelated issue and brought up Mental Depression. All he wanted to talk about was my Diabetic history which really doesnt concern me all that much since I know its false.It was a Ache in my lung that I went in for, was hoping it was lung cancer and told him that. And if it was, my plan was to hope for a doctor to ease my Ache because I brought this onto myself I wont seek treatment.Edit : punctuation ', 'I would so Hyperactive behavior to meet another who feels this way. I wanna have that closeness Hyperactive behavior between siblings where you know each other completely but bonds Hyperactive behavior that take years to form and there isnt even anything on the horizon for me. I dont get the chance to show what I have to give.', 'my dick doesnt work on demand, see dude I got something back for everything you can say. Im a fighter Hyperactive behavior that but its all true', 'The hose wouldnt stay on tailpipe, my method needs to be refined, get em next time....', 'Advil doesnt work, youll wake with hellish why am i still alive Migraine Disorders for hrs after', 'Do MMOs count as video games? If so then Wizard101 is my game.', 'Trazodone helps me get to sleep', 'Agreed, life sucks', 'I tried that, heres how it ended...http://www.reddit.com/r/UnsentLetters/comments/ywbwq/to_someone_who_didnt_love_back/', 'Yea it does. I cant spend 15 minutes just talking small talk. I Hyperactive behavior to talk of bigger things, things I know.', 'Sounds Hyperactive behavior life with Crohn Disease disease and being on meth...cept for the ambitious parts Hyperactive behavior leaving the house and asking for help.Happy Birthday', 'Seems Hyperactive behavior the only time anyone cares is when they want a dollar, and even then my money isnt good enough. I used to smoke a lot of weed and even thats dried up because no one wants me around. When I was everyday stoner I didnt care about not having anyone.Ive got no Phobia, Social skills; always turning the conversation into how I can relate with my own experiences then the other loses interest. Ive tried changing this but its so engrained that I always fall back to it when I dont know what to say...even doing here. I feel guilty talking about myself but cant help it.', 'insightful', 'Nobody cares enough', 'Someone should know, thats why.']",Ideation
user-435,"['Hey, just happened to browse through this and saw your post. Let me start by saying Im not a mental health professional. Youre right that you should talk to someone. But in the meantime, do me a favor. Google ""avoidant personality disorder."" Or hell, just search for it here on reddit.Obviously people shouldnt diagnose themselves using the internet. Thats how people go to webmd with an Skin irritation eye and leave convinced theyre dying of Hyperactive behavior sub saharan tortoise cancer. BUT, as you read about that and/or similar issues, you might notice two big things.1. Youre not just a failure or apathetic. There is almost certainly more to it than that. Just because you dont have something as clearly defined as ""hearing voices"" or something doesnt Irritable Mood youre more to blame for your struggles.2. Youre not at all alone in the way you feel. Im not saying your struggles and Ache arent unique. But I bet you have a feeling of Hyperactive behavior, ""other people seem to connect to the world and I just dont"" and that contributes to your hopelessness. I think youll find that youre not alone in that feeling.Im not going to argue that youre Abnormal behavior or blameless or even that you havent acted Hyperactive behavior a jerk in the past. But speaking from experience, Ill say this. If you are suffering from something, it will be a really big deal for you to figure it out. We dont get a lot of ""holy shit"" game-changer moments in life. But this could be one of them for you.You have all of these problems in your life. Im not minimizing that. But it might turn out that they all stem from one issue. If thats the case, boom, suddenly you dont have a ton of problems, you have one problem. It might be a big problem, but youll know where to start.Im not going to launch into an autobiography here, but I *promise* you the story of my life and where my mental health issues took me would blow your mind. But Im still here, feeling good enough that Im trying to help out somebody else. PM me if you want to talk. ']",Indicator
user-436,"['Its easy. The answer is guilt. They really dont give a fuck but dont want to be held responsible later so if theres a risk of Suicide they get involved. After the threat is over they typically move away emotionally and place a lot of distance between you and themselves. If they genuinely cared they would know that distance does little to help. Then again if they really cared it may not have gotten to the point of Suicide in the first place. ', 'While I dont have the same self loathing you have I can definitely empathize with the inability to follow through with my thoughts. I once read that George Eastman (founder of Kodak) shot himself after a dinner party leaving a note which simply read my work is done here. There is a few reasons I dont own any guns. Chiefly among them is that on a day Hyperactive behavior today I know I would be temped to use it on myself. I had a botched poisoning attempt in the past. I though going to Hypersomnia and not waking up would be the answer. I figured it would be the most passive way to do what I am otherwise not brave enough to do. However the human body is surprisingly resilient. There are many days when I consider swerving into oncoming traffic or just aiming for a bridge abutment. Problem is that I have a pretty nice car and I fear that All the airbags and crumple zones would leave me with some mild damage and a totaled car or even worse paralyzed. That is a fate I imagine to be worse than my current life. Truth be told Im fairly smart and it is surprisingly hard to kill yourself or anyone else for that matter without a certain degree of violence to which I am not inclined. I try to remind myself that ""my life doesnt suck"" I know many men who would consider my life on the surface a considerable upgrade. Yet I am still unsatisfied. I feel Hyperactive behavior my entire life is unrequited. I feel Hyperactive behavior my efforts are never good enough to meet the goals I set forth for myself. Professionally Im an utter failure and cant stay at a job for even 2 years. Im quite adept but Ive never been promoted and on a couple of occasions have been fired. Im fairly well endowed which couples with an average amount of charm and the Internet allows me to always have a companion but I rarely feel Hyperactive behavior they love me for more than my prowess in bed. Ive even considered at times chopping my girthy appendage off but again the violence that requires prevents me from accomplishing what in my mind is a tidy solution. I wouldnt mind being in my body on this earth for 50 more years but I fear that if it is 50 Hyperactive behavior these these past 30 or so years have been it is just a waste of everyones time. Why should a girl fall in love with me I will only let her down. Why should a company hire me I will only fail their expectations. I have so much untapped potential that it seems foolish to waste it by ending my life but then again if there was something worthwhile in there would I really keep circling back to this same conclusion?']",Attempt
user-437,"['You are far stronger then the thoughts of killing yourself. Death is permanency to a temporary problem. Posting here proves that youre trying to be strong. Continue to harness that strength, and remember that no many time it rains, the sun shines as much.', 'At night is always bad for me. Its when I have time to think and reflect on things. I find reading and taking a bath tends to take my mind off things. Have you ever just written down your day in a journal? I did that when I was in the military, it helped kind of get those demons out.', 'I am glad to hear you both are doing well! ', 'So, there is a lot more to live for then just school. Trust me when I say that. I have been where you are. I have so much student loan debt its insurmountable, but I know Ill get through it. One thing in your post; your parents may work long hours, and they may pay your tuition, but if anything happened to you, they would be in a much darker place then you believe them to be now. They want you to follow your heart, even if it has its bumps in the road. You are never alone in this, never in the dark. I and those from /SW are going to be here. We are your support network, and no matter what happens, as long as you can wake up tomorrow the day has the potential to be amazing. ', 'Well Im here to talk if you want to vent.', 'Youre wrong about something here. We care about you. Weve never met but we are friends. Maybe not in real life, but we are connected in a lot of ways. Just a few weeks ago, I sat on my bathroom floor saying and thinking a lot of what I am seeing here. I am still partially there, but I am finding my way up the hill. We can do the same for you. There is always time to turn back until its too late.', 'Yes you can, you have the strength inside; it may not feel Hyperactive behavior it right now, but every day gets a little bit different, While the road may seem long, and almost futile. But, as you age the storms begin to be a bit easier to manage. Girls, friends, school, all of that shit comes and goes. Ive been there, and know exactly what youre going through. Just remember that Suicide is a very very permanent solution to a temporary problem!', 'What do you play?', 'Add me on steam, same name as here.', 'Going out to see a movie, but if you want to play some L4D 2 later Im down.', 'Youre wrong about that. Its easy to think no one will, but I promise you its not true. I have been there. Ive been there. The ledge is enticing, but its not the place to be. Whats wrong that makes you feel Hyperactive behavior the ledge is the escape?', 'Ive found things to live for even if I was at my worst. Once youve been the ledge, and seen whats on the other side living is the worth every minute. You will find your reason. Youll find your hope. Death wins when you stop looking. We are here to help you find it. Dont give up during the storm face it and know there is calm', 'I dont believe that. Things helped me. Lets try together man. Anything you need that is within my power to do, I will.', 'I run a gaming website and could use some help! I suffer from extreme Anxiety Mental Depression and Mental Depression tied in with PTSD. My drugs help, but I try to stop taking them. If youre into games abd stuff let me knew. I always need people!! ', 'Hey there RSS09,I feel your Ache, I know exactly what youre going through. When I was 20, I was a pot head living at home, no girlfriend, I had self loathing because I felt Hyperactive behavior I was ugly and out of shape. But I had no desire to change it. I pretended to have friends, but I delt with their ridicule and their jokes just to feel accepted. I made the conscious decision to do something about that. So I actually joined the military. That decision changed my life. I went in with the mentality that while I hated authority, if I wanted to survive another day, and prove to people I was made of more then what they think I would graduated. I did, and then I was top in my class at school because I found I actually enjoyed it. It might not be a bad thing to consider if your direction is split right now. ', 'You doing okay? You recognized it was your Anxiety Mental Depression talking, I am hoping that voice was silenced!', 'We fuck up all the time. I do it some times on purpose, but when we are fucked is when we get to decide if were at our weakest or at our strongest. No one ever gets upset they stand, people get upset when they fall. People get Chest Pain when they fall, but things look a little brighter when they pick themselves up. Ive been there man, I went to the hospital every other day because my world was so fucked. Now I can sit here in my toliet(truth) and tell you that my darkest times makes the sun look so much brighter.', 'I have thought about Suicide before, but then I think of what would happen to my family, my wife, people who I know, and that puts me in a worse place. Through the storm comes the calm. The measure of a person is how you face those storms. If you want to chat, please dont hesitate to reach out! I have no artistic talent, but I have need for artistic talent! What sort of work do you do?', 'Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Life is full of peaks and valleys, its the valleys that make the peaks so much more grand. Id Hyperactive behavior to chat with you, if you want to message me a way to get in touch with you, or I can give you my info. I live in Florida. Lets find your miracle together. ', 'I am here for you Joe. Lets chat! Are you a gamer?', 'You are wron. People will miss you for the rest of their lives. Even if they dont express their love for you, it exists. The world is cruel thats the reason we surround ourselves with what we can find that brings a bit of joy. I have meds that help me see the joy a bit easier. Your life is worth living, this place youre at is temporary.', 'Its for a title called gigantic. ', 'Sorry, passed out. The site is dedicated to Gigantic which is a new arena combat game. Were the first fansite dedicated to the game. I have people who write articles, we do weekly interviews and discussions on Twitch with people. If youre interested message me here and Ill give you the info.', 'I can think of a lot. Is it family, money? School?', 'I am so sorry for your loss. I dont want to speculate on how something Hyperactive behavior that could happen. But please, Crying Reflex, Abnormal when you need to, laugh when you can, and embrace those around you and revel in his memory. Love is never lost, its just moved to a different part of the heart and mind.', 'Well, life has a way of kicking us when were down. Its times Hyperactive behavior these that we find the simple solution to the problem the easiest to cope with. The sad reality of it is, that solution is not so simple. Life has fantastic moments, and terrible moments. I have been where you are right now, when the end seems terribly easy; a simple escape to the woes. But, Suicide is a very permanent solution to an extremely temporary problem. There is always one more thing you can do to try to pick yourself up. Life, though it may feel Hyperactive behavior it; is not baseball. 3 strikes and you are not out. There are more innings to play. My name is Tim, and I am willing to play those innings with you. What makes life so difficult for you Vind?', 'Puddles, I will tell you something that may sound empty. But I care, in fact, I would wager to say that those of us here care. I have been where you are, when all things seem to point to that long goodnight. Pain comes and goes, problems raise, and problems fall; just Hyperactive behavior the winds of a storm eventually give way to calm. You are not alone in the way that you feel. Please stay with us!', 'Hey there Throwawayfrell, I will say that the Ache you are feeling, that hollowness inside does go away, the tides do recede and life does get better. Ive been exactly in your shoes before, I was the class clown, I tried to make friends by making an ass of myself but that never seemed to work. Let me ask you what changed in you that you started to push people away? Was it one event, or a series of events? And I will tell you; that the Ache and suffering you feel inside right now is something that can be calmed. Have you spoken to a doctor about it? Medication is what keeps me straight, but I would reach out for help. You are not alone in any of this. I am here, those of us from /SW are here... were here because weve been there, and know, while its a rough road to come back from it is a road you CAN come back from. ', 'Count me in to the loop! We can all be boring together! ', 'How are you doing right now?', 'There is always a storm, but those storms eventually end. Even if you dont think they will. Life has a funny way of knocking us down and betting us we wont get back up. Lets prove to life its wrong. ', 'Life should never end because of hate. ']",Behavior
user-438,"['Thats the only thing keeping me from offing myself. It would tear my family apart at the seams. Id go somewhere secluded and actually do the act, but theyd learn about it and it would wreck my mother and father. I cant be responsible for ruining their lives any more than I already have', 'Bingo.Ive accepted that the only girl Ill ever love is gone. I understand that shes moved on and has no need for me. That doesnt make this mind-numbing Ache stop or give me any solace during every sleepless night. ', 'I failed this past semester too, my friend. My girlfriend, the ONLY person Ive ever truly loved who saved me from myself, Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me. My job is a pit of vipers. Everything sucks.I want to tell you not to do it and I want to say theres a light at the end of the tunnel for guys Hyperactive behavior you and me. But, in all honestly, I feel the same as you. Take solace in that, in that you arent alone and Im suffering the same as you. I hope it gets better, and when it does, I want the both of us to be around to enjoy it. College sucks anyway. Its basically a 4 year slumber party for sluts and douchebags, were better off not being in an environment that promotes that kind of Mental Depression. I was thinking of picking up a trade or joining the Firefighters Academy. Search your  mind and see if theres anything at all that interests you, and follow it. Life is absurd, but might as well roll with the punches, yeah? Who knows when well strike gold... or get struck by lightning. Might as well find out though.', 'People who make generalizations Hyperactive behavior that are ignorant trash and deserve to have their teeth kicked down their throat. To be so callous and undervalue the magnitude of peoples suffering Hyperactive behavior that just boggles my mind. ', 'Oh, absolutely. Its comparable to feeling Hyperactive behavior Im drowning all the time. I do the best I can, I kick my legs and try to reach the surface, only for the riptide to pull me back down under and the vicious struggle continues. Im so rooted in my misery and used to feeling this way, I dont even have expectations anymore. And yet, the universe continues to find ways to make me feel worse as every day passes. Its so cruel I almost want to laugh. ', 'Welcome to the land of heartbreak, my friend. Where life goes completely black, food has no taste, and Hypersomnia is a thing of the past. I lost my girlfriend about 3 months ago. We were together for 3 years, 3 beautiful, magical years. Much Hyperactive behavior you, my girlfriend said she wanted space. Space turned into a break, which turned into a break-up. Not long after, I discovered she had been cheating on me for over half the relationship and she started dating him Hyperactive behavior 3 days after breaking up with me. I still havent recovered, and Ive come to accept I never will. But there are ways to momentarily distract yourself. Get a hobby and wholly dedicate yourself to it. I picked skateboarding back up, which is something I dropped at her request early in the relationship. Devote yourself to whatever you choose. I suggest joining a gym because exercise promotes endorphin release and all that, lots of Netflix and reading, I immediately bought a PS4 and some new games. Shit Hyperactive behavior that, you know.I know the sheer agony youre feeling. I was so bad, that for the first month, whenever I would think of her with her new boyfriend, it would literally make me sick. Its pure hell, I know... and sadly, the only solace I can offer is that it goes from feeling Hyperactive behavior youre constantly being bludgeoned in the head with a sledgehammer, to feeling Hyperactive behavior youre constantly being shocked with a live wire. I wish you luck, my friend. These will be the toughest months of your life ahead. ', 'I did not, I didnt even arrange the meeting. I was sent to her by my advisor at school after learning of my being kicked out of college recently.My apologies for not making this clear in my original post. ', 'Id absolutely love to kill myself. If it werent for my mother, I definitely would have by now. In Drug abuse school, I was forced to attend counseling and mentioned Suicide to the psychiatrist. She mentioned it to my mother, who on the car ride home, mentioned if I ever killed myself she would follow suit. That would tear apart my family, send my father spiraling into Mental Depression, etc. I cant be responsible for all of that, so Im stuck on this Depressed mood ride until she dies and I can kill myself, or I die in an accident of some sort.Ive been down that path of trying to make the best of life. I work out twice daily and have been for a couple years, it doesnt do much for me anymore and the rest of the things you mentioned suck. The only thing I truly love doing is skateboarding, but theres snow on the ground and has been for months so no dice there. Even when theres not, its not enough to make me want to live. I dont think you understand, man. Theres something inherently wrong with my brain. I genuinely desire death and I have felt this way since I was 13 or 14. I dont function as a normal human should, I have thoughts of harming myself and doing bad things constantly. No amount of therapy has helped, no drugs, no stay in the ""hospital"", nothing. Im what you would refer to as a ""lost cause."" I dont even want to get better anymore, I just want to die. It would be so amazing to just not be alive. ', 'Thats an excellent articulation of how I feel as well. That was wonderfully written. ', 'This is beautifully articulated and I empathize incredibly. I, too, failed this last semester of college. My Mental Depression has worsened since attending school, and it makes me feel Hyperactive behavior an even bigger failure that Ive wasted my familys resources and faith.It would be amazing to just go to Hypersomnia permanently, but damn this insomnia. ', 'I would gladly trade with my life with one of those kids dying. I dont think you quite understand the magnitude to which I absolutely deplore my own existence. If I could flip a switch and trade my life, I would in a heartbeat. Life sucks, period.', 'Why would you be sorry for this? Thats what everybody else here is doing. Weve gathered for that single purpose. This is one of the places where people genuinely care. Please, dont apologize.For whatever its worth, the only person in my life who truly mattered Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me as well. I know the Ache of this solitude, the unending agony of them leaving. Whatever you feel, know youre not alone. Im right there with you reeling in this Depressed mood existence. But at least were there together, with everyone else here. ', 'My girlfriend did the same for me, but now the problems are only compounded since she Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me. Never had a best friend, but I bet that bond is just as strong as one of lovers or family. Really is unfair being trapped how we are with no escape. And they call people Hyperactive behavior us selfish. Ironic.', 'Oh yeah, I agree. Like I said in a couple other threads, Im giving myself til late summer/early fall before I do myself in. By that time, I figure Ill have hit critical mass and Vaginal Eczema to die even more than I do now. I truly wish people would accept this, some of us just genuinely dont want to exist anymore. When the bad outweighs the good and the Ache becomes unbearable, its only fair we be given the chance to let go. ', 'I have. I remember when in eighth grade, my baseball team made it to the state tournament. It was the last inning, we were down by Hyperactive behavior 5 or 6 runs, and I was the last to bat. I go to bat, listen to everyone screaming my name and relish in it, only to strike out on 3 straight pitches, I believe. And I remember feeling so Depressed mood on the bus ride home and thinking, ""Whatever, Ill just kill myself"". I always subconsciously thought it, but never outwardly voiced it myself until then. And ever since, its always my fallback. Every since I lost my girlfriend, I think of it multiple times a day. In a weird way, it makes me feel better. Like, no matter how bad things get I always have an out and, until the day I decide to pull the trigger, its almost Hyperactive behavior a game. To see how much bullshit I can take from life before throwing in the towel. I have a feeling my time is almost up. I give myself til the anniversary of our break-up date before I fully come undone and jump off this roller coaster called life.', 'Thats totally untrue; theres absolutely no guarantee that anybody feels anything for you. Besides the obvious Hyperactive behavior some prisoners, homeless people, orphans on the street, etc theres standard Americans living completely alone- not a single friend or any family- as well. You ever peruse the FA sub or the SuicideWatch one? Couldnt tell you how many people writhe in isolation everyday. Life coming at a cost is also horseshit. I didnt ask for life, and I do not want it. That would be Hyperactive behavior me parking a Ferrari in your garage, then demanding you pay for it simply because ""it has a cost"". Id say its pretty arrogant to assume what you have. Not all of us are lucky enough to have the things you assert in your conjecture, nor can we control the way we feel. One of the many reasons existing is a Ache in the ass and I demand exit. ', 'To be frank, I really dont. I sort of drone on only because of a curiosity of what happens next. This existence is a joke when you get down to it, but a lot of odd and unusual things can occur... so I treat it Hyperactive behavior a game, in a sense. Im just rolling the dice, and whether I get hit by a car or win the lottery, who cares? At least theres something going on.I pass my time in several ways, though. Video games, working out, Netflix, nerf basketball hoop in my room, writing Dragon Ball Z stories, lots of naps... just anything to take my mind off of the endless cycle of torture and bleakness. It seems to mostly do the job.', 'Man, this got me all choked up. Cant tell you how nice it is to hear this and I really needed it today.I love you too man, thanks for posting this. I love all you guys, this sub is my home. ', 'Its funny, because Im at the same place Hyperactive behavior once a week. I usually end up rubbing one out, downing a Totinos pizza, then passing out of the couch after playing PS4 til my eyes bleed. ', 'Death is the only comfort I have Ventricular Dysfunction, Left. When Im laying in my bed at night and cant Hypersomnia, which is basically every night, I think about nothing but how Ill die. I make my own funeral arrangements, create mental letters for my family, think about what Id do the day before dying. Stuff Hyperactive behavior that. Really makes me feel better. I look forward immensely to dying.', 'I wont give you meaningless platitudes and say not to do it, but just to be sure. I understand the Ache you feel in losing someone you loved; I, too, lost the love of my life and the girl I treasured more than any other. Now life is just... hollow. Its not worth waking up every morning. Good luck to you whatever you choose, but know that no matter what, you were never alone. People just Hyperactive behavior you and me are suffering the same all across the world, and theres a certain sense of togetherness in there somewhere. Hopefully you can take some heart in that. ', 'Definitely hits close to home. Sleep is one of the few escapes I have, thats why I do it as often as I can. If Im not working or at the gym, you can either find me sleeping or laying on my bed. Its a running joke with my co-workers. I have these immense, deep bags under my eyes and people are amazed by it because I Hypersomnia ~13 hours a day. ""Im just really Exhaustion"", I say as they laugh and call me Raccoon. If they only could see the thoughts in my head, theyd understand why I have to Hypersomnia. Being Wakefulness hurts too much.', 'Being a psychopath isnt so bad, my only genuine friend is a clinically diagnosed psychopath. Despite the stigma, hes actually a really cool guy. Had a therapist in Drug abuse school suggest I was one too. I think theres more of em than people realize. Sometimes I think of similar things too, especially when Im bored or agitated. Happened today actually.Overheard a guy tell somebody that he wants to beat the fuck out of me, so I spent most of the day picturing myself setting him on fire or putting C4 under his car. Granted he does have a pretty legit reason for feeling how he does, but still. Regardless, I think a lot of Depressed mood people feel this way. Its only Hypothermia, natural humans find an escape to alleviate their Mental Depression, and this is ours. ', 'Got that right, OP. Just Exhaustion of it all.My emotions bounce from complete indifference at my life, then jump to Abnormal dreams fury because I hate how all of this is happening to me and I had no say in it, then I go back to being Numbness again. Usually theres some soul-crushing sadness and pangs of Guilt riddled in there somewhere. Its all so exhausting, I just cant wait to die already. ', 'Im truly sorry to hear that. I cant offer you much besides the knowledge that I feel very much the same as you. Granted Im only 22, but there is no ""looking up"" for me. This is the first Valentines Day in 3 years without my ex. ""Just move on"", people have been saying for about 6 months now. Its not happening because she was the one. I know it and theres no moving on from that. Shes in the arms of another while Im dining on my guts, back to being completely alone. I, too, have no friends, no family, nobody. While my eternal love is doing who knows what with her boyfriend, Im here toiling in misery. Going to spend yet another night utterly void of her, living on the memories of what we used to have, and playing PS4 til my eyes bleed. Do what we can, right?', 'Teenage years are far and away the worst. Peaking during adolescence would worthy of true pity. Im 22, and my teenager years blew. So have the 20s so far,  but it only makes everything worse if you tack on other peoples expectations and projections and take them as your own. Everyone lives their own life and theres no rule that says teenager years are the greatest. Maybe if youre a drunken nympho youll enjoy that time more, but thats all I can think of.', 'Within the last year or so, Ive also discovered this. Im at my absolute worst when Im Ventricular Dysfunction, Left alone with my thoughts- thats when all the blackened emotions come out and the smallest of things become triggers for an episode. Wish I could just turn my thoughts completely off, or at least lower the volume so I could drown them out with a mixtape or something.', 'Yeah, thats the only reason Im still alive. I mentioned Suicide once before in my teens and my mom said shed kill herself if I ever attempted to do it.So, Im effectively responsible for both of our lives and I really hate her for it. ', 'I actually thrive on that praise. I go out of my way to try and impress people, to try and escape the black cloud over my head and have someone, somewhere, not think Im this husk that I feel Hyperactive behavior inside. ', 'Believe me, I understand more than anyone. My girlfriend was at one time so controlling and jealous, when she found out I was alone with my half-sister, she freaked the fuck out on me and started having a Panic Attacks attack over the phone. Yet, she was the one cheating and I got Ventricular Dysfunction, Left. Funny how it works, isnt it? We should start a club or something. ', 'You know, I was just mulling this over myself today at work. I have both a superiority and inferiority complex. I constantly compare myself to everyone, check every mirror and reflective surface, have to be the best at everything. A weirdly vicious cycle. Im far and away the most braggadocios, arrogant guy youll ever meet, but at the same time, the most absolute timid and insecure. Boggles my own mind. ', 'Exactly. Just because others have it worse in no way lessens my own problems nor does it have any bearing on the glaring issues to start with. If this is all it took for people to stop being Depressed mood, it would be a very easy condition to fix.', 'I know the unbearable Ache of losing the girl you love more than anything to some other guy. Like the gentlemen said in another thread, its Hyperactive behavior constantly being touched by a live wire. The sheer agony is unbearable. Since she Ventricular Dysfunction, Left, I second guess my every move. I have no confidence, no hopes, no dreams, nothing but this searing Ache and Anger at myself for letting everything fall apart. My mental health worsens by the day. She took my sanity when she Ventricular Dysfunction, Left. Im a few months in now, myself. People have been saying, ""Oh, it gets better. Youll find another, shell be meaningless soon"", but thats a bold-faced lie and I hate that people say it. Let me know if you find anything that works or lessons that Ache, otherwise, a five dollar rope doesnt sound Hyperactive behavior a bad idea at all anymore...', 'Me neither, Ive even got a personal bet going with myself. I give myself roughly 4-5 more months before my stability hits a proverbial absolute 0 and I bite the bullet, both literally and figuratively. If I lose the bet, Ill do something extravagant Hyperactive behavior sporadic trip somewhere or buy a new car that I cant afford. If I win the bet, then Im gone and I finally escaped this torture. Hoping I win. ', 'Eh, I survived. Pulled an eight hour day at work and apparently my co-workers husband told another one of my co-workers that he wants to fight me. Not sure why, but it kind of makes me happy my existence can elicit SOME kind of emotion. Have mixed feelings towards the weekend. My birthday is on Sunday and I turn 23, but its my first one since my girlfriend Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me. Her birthday is the day before, this Saturday. I keep thinking about how shell spend it with her new boyfriend while I lay Wakefulness and miss her terribly all night. That part really sucks.Plan on doing something for it, though Im not sure yet. Find it almost ironic my birthday falls on Easter. ', 'I feel very similarly to that. For most of my Mental Depression, I felt Abnormal dreams hatred, much Hyperactive behavior you do, for people and life in general. It sucked and was Hyperactive behavior a Depressed mood roller coaster I couldnt get off of, causing me to hate it all the more and the vicious circle continued.Now Im pretty much as apathetic as they come. I stopped hating things about a year ago and gave up completely on life a few months ago. Things most certainly will not just magically get better and this ""keep on trucking"" mantra has proved to be complete bullshit, at least in my case. I cant offer you much solace other than that- knowing I think this place sucks just as much as you do. I dont have a solution, as Im going through life with my hands in my pockets and nothing more, but who knows what will happen? Maybe Jessica Alba will call me and offer to fuck my brains out tomorrow, or some stranger will throw me the keys to his Lambo. Might as well see. ', 'I plan on doing the same in the next couple weeks. Maybe Ill see you on the other side, we can grab a drink and talk about how Depressed mood life was. Godspeed, my friend. ', 'For what its worth, I understand you completely. My girlfriend Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me for another guy and I know how soul-wrenching that is. I failed out of school, which makes me feel Hyperactive behavior a colossal piece of shit. My biggest outlet in life was always skateboarding, but its winter and theres no indoor skate park within 50 miles so thats out of the question. No friends, my only real family is cancer-stricken, and my job sucks. Hopefully it helps knowing you arent alone. Im right there suffering alongside you. I dont know if it will get any better for us, but I do know I want to be around if it does and the world will be lesser without people Hyperactive behavior us in it. Society needs dissenters Hyperactive behavior you and me, we make shit interesting.', 'Breaking Benjamin - Dear AgonyI cant put my finger exactly on why, but that song is my Kryptonite... in a good way. Everything Im feeling settles down and the Muscular Stiffness sets in and Im okay for the time being.  ', 'I very much feel the same as you. Ive hit a point in my Mental Depression where its become more Indifferent mood than anything, and in a roundabout way, theres really some beauty in it. Life can be such an absurd pile of shit, so what the hell is the point is trying? Ive certainly yet to find one, but perspective can shift Hyperactive behavior that.I guess it works in a ""nothing Ventricular Dysfunction, Left to lose"" kind of light. Nothing is off limits when you think about it. In my head, everything is up for grabs and Im more or less just curious what happens next. Maybe Ill get to bang a supermodel or maybe Ill get struck by lightning. Who knows. I certainly feel for you, OP. Youre not alone. ', 'Ive done everything humanly possible to fix my problems and myself, but I come no closer no matter how hard I try. I guess that counts for something. Doesnt change anything, but it takes a special person to struggle through it anyway and we can say that if nothing else. Whatever fleeting happiness, or at least equanimity, comes my way, Ill take in stride. But Im not gonna pretend theres a rainbow beyond the black cloud that follows me any longer. Im at peace with it, or at least Im getting there.', 'Nothing takes a toll on a persons psyche Hyperactive behavior a relationship, eh? I know how you feel. I was with my girlfriend for 3 years. 3 beautiful years, or at least to me they were. Then one day... she Ventricular Dysfunction, Left. Got with some other guy, blocked my number, pretended I didnt exist. It aggravated my Mental Depression and suicidal thoughts to a degree I didnt know possible. The kicker is always thinking of her, isnt it? Certainly was for me. 24/7, no matter what I was doing. Working, lifting, skating, watching a movie, with another girl, or just jerking off alone in my room. Couldnt stop thinking of her. Solid 2 months of that passed. Best advice I can give on that is to condition yourself to not think about her or what shes doing. When she pops up in your brain, IMMEDIATELY do something. What I would do is drop down and bang out as many push-ups as I could, even when I was in public or at the mall or what have you. I was waiting in line for a TV on Black Friday and did well over 300 push-ups from all the waiting and thinking of her I did. Got to the point where push-ups filled my brain, and not her. Whats more, it makes you look awesome and its a great way to meet chicks in public.At least you can be thankful she didnt come back and abuse your love for her. My ex came back into my life about 3 weeks ago, crying to me because her life sucks without me I guess. She feels alone, her new boyfriend is a dick, and she misses me. But, she wont leave him for me. Shes using me for emotional stability and our physical connection, but wont come back to me. And Im back to square 1, Depressed mood and suicidal. Take heart where you can. After theyve been gone, you dont want them back. Youll end up Hyperactive behavior me, a prisoner of your own love. Pathetic? Absolutely. Does it matter? Not a bit. Best of luck, friend. ', 'I much feel the same. After losing my girlfriend of 3 years to a sub-human piece of shit and finding out she cheated on me with that douche after I tried so hard in the relationship, I realized Im pretty much unlovable. Ive come to think relationships just arent meant for some people, and Im certainly one.Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I dont want to give you Depersonalization platitudes. Invest in yourself, concern yourself only with your own affairs and the rest is irrelevant. There are positives to this type of life- no fighting, no worrying, no distrust, no stupid plans on Christmas, no more blowout arguments, etc. May not sound ideal, but it keeps me sane. Kind of. ', 'Every single night of my life. ', 'That genuinely made me laugh. Thanks. ', 'Sucks how true this. I made a lighthearted remark about it to a co-worker after he heard I failed my last semester of college. The dude told me, ""change your tampon and find your missing dick and balls"".', 'I know that feeling, as I feel very much the same. As much as I would Hyperactive behavior to stop existing, I just couldnt cause it myself. Ideally for me, Id Hyperactive behavior something or someone else to do me in. Like a passive death wish. Maybe a sniper could take me out while Im walking down the street, or I could jump into a house fire and save someone before the house collapses on me. Something Hyperactive behavior that.As far as distracting yourself, I know how tough that is. No matter what I do, those black thoughts are in my head. As soon as the movie is done or I leave the gym, they come back full force. Its deafening. Dont have much helpful advice, except it takes a strong person to not give in and we walk this road together. I hope therapy works for you. ', 'Every time I hear somebody say its Muscle Weakness or that Mental Depression sufferers just dont have the will or the grit to push forward, I get the same feeling. Its sickening how unfeeling and utterly repugnant some people can be.Would love nothing more than to elbow those pieces of shit in the throat til I cant raise my arm anymore.', 'Oh, I do this all the time. Started off as me dying heroically, Hyperactive behavior saving a couple kids from a burning building or going out on some other Batman-esque act of courage.  Then I would be honored posthumously and people would finally respect me. It was a way for me to cope and validate to myself and everyone else that I was of value. Now I imagine myself dying just because it makes me feel better. Snipers in random trees aiming for my head, an 18 wheeler t-boning me on a walk, getting robbed and shot when Im paying for gas, all kinds of weird stuff Hyperactive behavior that. Just the other day when I couldnt Hypersomnia (as always), I fantasized about being taken hostage at a bank and being the guy used as a bargaining chip. Then just taking one of their guns and Panic myself so they have no leverage, just to be a jerk. Im incredibly twisted, I know. ', 'Im always afraid to admit that to myself. That maybe the reason Im so driven to be better than everyone and think Im so godly is because deep down, I know Im as Muscle Weakness as I perceive other people to think I am. My ex girlfriend fell for it. She thought I was Gods gift to mankind, and when the Anger inside me eventually showed, she split and my mental health has vastly deteriorated. I wonder how much of that love I felt for her was actually genuinely for her, or because she fed my so ego so greatly, and now that its gone, I have no validation of my superiority.', 'She did, and it made things all the worse. She was my fiance and my truest love for 3 years. She ended up moving away, cheating on me, and leaving for some other guy.A couple weeks ago, she came back to my door crying. Begging me for another chance, telling me she had nothing without me, etc. But, the kicker is, I know shes using me. She tells me she wants me, yet she wont leave her boyfriend. Fills my head and my heart with promises and Ive become what I despise most, a cheater, because Im simply Drug abuse to her.I cant leave, I cant stay. I cant talk to her because she blows up and threatens to kill herself, I cant ignore it because it tears my soul out. Its truly a mindfuck. I was very close to being over her before she returned, but now Im back to square 1 and I cant go through it again. ', 'Ah, do I know this all too. I lost my girlfriend of 3 years about... 6-7 months ago, Id say. She had a new boyfriend Hyperactive behavior 2 or 3 weeks later. It crushed me, literally knocked the wind out of me and I thought I was dying. Room got all fuzzy, stomach felt Hyperactive behavior it was being ripped out... yikes. Now? Well, it still hurts Hyperactive behavior Abnormal behavior but in a different way. At first its Hyperactive behavior constantly being stabbed in the chest with a sharp knife. Lot of rampant guilt, sleepless nights, nothing really matters. These days... its more Hyperactive behavior being continuously shocked with a live wire. Still a lot of sleepless nights, but you learn to adapt. Its Hyperactive behavior you almost get bored of the immense heartbreak and it just turns to this weird ""Yeah, I ruined my life. Whatever"" kind of feeling. As for your actual question, I contemplate it every day of my life. I teeter on the edge of whether I should swallow the barrel of a gun and silence my aching head or just crawl back in bed and hope tomorrow isnt as bad... which it seemingly always is. If you ever need anybody to speak to about this subject, Im here. I Hyperactive behavior to think of myself as a bit of an expert at this particular topic.', '""All things heal in time"" - Clearly they dont otherwise Id be just dandy by now. In fact, the opposite seems to be true.""She Ventricular Dysfunction, Left you months ago. Why arent you over her? Why dont you move on?"" - Ive tried so hard. Dont you think I WANT to be over the girl that ripped my beating heart out of my chest? I meant the promises I made to her and its not something I can just forget. ""You should be thankful you arent dead or dying"" - Itd be easier if I was, but thanks for regurgitating this fallacy, you dick. These thought-terminating cliches piss me off beyond words.""Why dont you see a professional and get some medication?"" - What a revolutionary thought. Ive only been down this avenue every year since I was 11. Clearly it didnt work. ""Dont give up. Things will get better if you try"" - That is a banality and a meaningless platitude. It offers nothing to me and is borderline insulting. Do you think I enjoy this suffering and inescapable mindset? ""Just get over it"" - Fuck you. ', 'Agreed exponentially. High school sucked for me, college is arguably even worse, and this entire ""real world"" idea is just some propaganda perpetuated by older people from an entirely different time, I find. Its all meaningless when you get down to it. Nothing has ever just magically disappeared when it comes to Mental Depression; Ive yet to hear of one person wake up and say, ""You know, Im not Depressed mood anymore. Im 100% happy. Outstanding.""I think it means whatever you experience just carries over and gives you a scaffolding for every endeavor in your life. I was a Depressed mood loner in junior Drug abuse, which carried over to Drug abuse school, which has carried over to college and my jobs, which will follow me everywhere. Thats what Ive gotten from it, at least. ', 'This comment is exactly how I felt, plus it made me chuckle. Thanks, friend. ', 'Perception is reality. ']",Ideation
user-439,"['Met her my sophomore year. Fell right in love. She never had an interest until this year. But then she had to move. Drank a bottle of whiskey in one long chug. Tried to shoot myself but got too drunk to remember why I was drinking. Went to a psych ward. I went to visit her and we hooked up. Decided we wanted to get married. Have kids the whole deal. But she lives 6 hours away and its very easy for her to cheat. Shes a documented sociopath and never feels bad. I found a train schedule for my town. 7 pm tomorrow itll pass through.', 'Together less than a month. But weve been best friends for years so we kinda just agreed marriage would work. And no to hotlines or professionals ', 'Because shes at her guy ""friend"" house and her phone is ""dead"" so I cant even ask her about it.', 'I went through a period in my life where I wanted to commit suicide. And my close friend, who had actually just made an attempt on her life a few weeks prior, said this to me""what ever it is that youre going through. What youre feeling. It is NOT going to be the thing that you die from. You will look back on this and wonder why you were ever worried. You can do it."" Dont let something you arent sure about be the reason you leave your friends and family behind.']",Attempt
user-440,"['Im DavidI am 16 years oldI live in Pennsylvania, United StatesFrankly, I dont know what I dont struggle with Im too insecure to post a picture of myself. ', 'This is so true that its sad. ', 'Ill play with youWhats your IGN and role?', 'Ive been trying to improve myself at the many skills that I wish to be good at, with no results. Absolutely no improvement whatsoever in 3 years in anything. This includes guitar, piano, singing, learning how to code (and trying to type faster as a result), working out, lacrosse, playing video games when Im not even good at them, getting good grades at school, trying to learn Korean since Im a Korean-American but kindergartners can speak, write and understand the language at a higher level than me, and nothing. Literally none of those am I even remotely good at. I do not see a single skill that I can perform at a proficient level. And this bothers me as it inhibits my ability to enjoy life. What good am I if I have nothing to contribute?Oh, and by the way, if I recall correctly, that is not the biggest galaxy. I think the name is IC 1101.', 'Thats my only source of happinessI have no hopes or desires in lifeI just want to die as soon as possible', 'Im 16 right now. I know I may seem too young but this has been my situation for my whole life.Im Exhaustion of pretending to be someone I am not, as I do it every day. I always pretend to be happy when my brain is hell, and for the past 2 years, I couldnt even pretend that well. I broke down, and many people in my school know of my Mental Depression. I just cant find any motivation to try at life. I probably wont even be alive by the end of Drug abuse school, as I think of killing myself every single second.', 'I honestly hate it when people say ""Oh, other people have it far worse than you so you shouldnt be depressed.""What most people do not understand is the Mental Depression is not rational. Comparing ones misery to undervalue others is ignorant. Saying that people cant be sad because others have it worse is Hyperactive behavior saying someone cant be happy because others have it better.', 'I just dont think it will help, and frankly I dont think itll change my mind about life at all. I would rather save my parents money.', 'I try to do that but I cant fully isolate myself. ', 'Ill try it outIt does seem relieving.', 'A few months ago, my sister saw me crying in my room because my Mental Depression was really bad. My mom came home and found me crying and talking to my sister, and my sister explained to her that I was really suicidal. My mom didnt know and at the time, she just told me to stop feeling that way and get better. The exact opposite happened, where my Mental Depression increased exponentially. My mom, however, Forgetfulness it ever happened and started doing the same thing again. Im not close enough to my mom where I can directly tell her, ""Hey, when you do this, it makes me wanna off myself right now."" Instead, I just bottle things in and block her out to the best of my ability.', 'So, my mom compared me for the umpteenth time yesterday and she laughs when she with other people about it and keep mentioning it. I was at my limit yesterday and I got Anger at her and told her to shut up and went to my room. She told my aunt and cousin that I had problems and I need to be fixed. Im sorry mom, I HAVE FUCKING PROBLEMS?!Yeah okay, Ill just fix it by killing myself.Oh my god, I cant wait to Suicide. ', 'Because life is extremely stressful regardlessEven when I dont care and show Indifferent mood to everything, Im still Stress outDeath seems so calming and peaceful to me', 'No, I cant go anywhere I play league of legends but its kinda pissing me off right now, so my only source of happiness is gone.', 'Its hard to enjoy things in life when you hate life itself. I hate waking in a home where someone else could be living, I hate being fed good food that could go to someone else, I hate everything about being alive. Theres nothing that makes me happy, nothing that stops me from wishing my own death.What do I do now?', 'Dont kill yourself by starving. It takes months to die by it. Its obvious and you start hallucinating after a short while. ', 'You make some excellent points, but how do you know that the person will be happy in the future? The opposite of what you say can be equally as true, as if you actually do succeed in preventing a Suicide, what if that persons life is full of Ache and sorrow? Wouldnt you feel guilty in that situation as well?', 'Isnt that what Reddit is for? I just vent here every so often because I bottle everything and then I rant here.I heard a lot of people having side effects from medications, and personally I dont want to be happy because I took a pill.', 'I just dont have a Drug abuse chance of committing Suicide right now. Rather than having a failed attempt, I might as well do it later when its basically guaranteed.', 'She wont understand. My sister and I have repeated to her multiple times to stop parenting the way she does. My sister literally said ""you and dad cant raise kids for shit. Thats why he(me) is so fucked up and wants to die, and had Mental Depression for such a long time.""Its not a motivator, it does the complete opposite.', 'No, not at all. I am not close with my dad at all; he was basically a stranger to me all my life, and hes very apathetic and Decreased interest about things so he might just tell me to man up.', 'I used to but now I dont because it didnt really do anything.', 'But when does it get better? Ive been feeling this same way for four years. I dont have any talents or passions in life, so how will things get better for me?', 'Ive talked to a lot of people. It just keeps getting worse. Before, 3 years ago, I only thought about the world without me. Now, I cant stop fucking thinking about it. Its what I have dreams about, think about when I wake up until I go back to bed.', 'Ah, my apologies. Im relatively new to the Reddit world. What sub would be appropriate for this discussion? ', 'Ive never had a therapist, but Ive heard they only help if you want help. ', 'Thanks, but theres nothing I hate more than life and myself.', 'Thanks, but not much you guys can do.Just venting helps me temporarily because I bottle everything in and I dont want to explode at people that I care about.', 'No, not really. Im stuck in this house. ', 'Are you really serious or are you just saying that?', 'Just the pointlessness of itWere here stressing out Hyperactive behavior hell trying to be successful, trying to achieve our dreams, and then what?I dont believe in a God anymore; I used to a few years back but religion is absurd to me', 'Come to think of it, I havent genuinely felt happy in a very long time.I actually dont remember the last time I woke up and was excited to live the day.Life is not ups and downs, its all just downs.', 'Just post it here. ', 'No, and I dont plan on seeing one.', 'Whats your IGN? I really want to get betterand what server are you on?']",Ideation
user-441,"['I think its time to rework you personal life.Start doing something productive and be our own reason to live!  Sometimes pets help. :D  Get a hobby that can get you to keep looking ahead!What are things you are into know?What is your job?  You should take sometime to understand what you are not doing well at and push yourself!Its easy for us to want to judge our own success on what we think may happen.  But it does not prove anything.  Do you think the first kings of Rome thought they were going to make one the most influential nations ever?  Do you think they were worried about it falling?  Yeah.  They did.  But they did not let their bad thoughts hold them back.  They pushed because they were their own reason to seceded.Rome did one day fall.  But you know what?  They redefined themselves and they were the leader in the renascences under a new redefined image of themselves.Life is about the legacy you leave behind.  You have a chance to be great no matter what age you are at.  Leonardo D. did not get his first big job that made him famous until he was 45ish.But you know what?  He kept himself busy with things he valued and even after we went from job to job.Life is hard.  No joke.  But life is also a chance.  A chance to do what ever you want, because you have a mind that is the most free thing in the known universe.I lost my grandmother the other day at just 60 years old.  She was the most special person in my life.  She had severe rheumatoid arthritis.  Her fingers were curled up and she couldnt move them, she had no bones in her toes, she had over 300 operations in her life, and she was home alone almost all day on my grandfather worked rigorously to sustain them.  Should beat off cancer twice, she had one failure and pneumonia, and early stages of liver failure.  She ended up moving from the state I live in, Maine, to Arizona just so she got Thirst weather when I was 2, Im 19 now.  She had to leave everything behind.But she didnt want to give up.  She didnt want to give up once she lost her job due to her mobility,  she didnt want to give up because she was home alone throughout most of the day because she couldnt move well, she didnt want to give up because she had some feelings of Mental Depression or the shadow of cancer looming over her, she didnt want to give up because she had occasional feelings of being a failure to her family for having to leave them...She didnt want to give up because her family was her reason to live.  She didnt want to give up because she was her own reason to live.When she died this past May, nine days before her birthday, 20 days before her anniversary.  My grandfather got letters from people all over the United States.  Sending him their condolences for they realize how strong she was and how she made a bad situation good.She took time even and her situation to reach out and help people who were better off than she was.  Not because she had to, but she realized thats what she could do.  That was her hobby.Its so easy to want to give up.  But doing so and to give up a chance to be something great.  Even when everything is going really bad for you.  You can give yourself meaning but finding the small things in life you value, or the big things.  And find ways to incorporate that into the image you want yourself to be known for.  Dont let your failures define you.  Let your success and your capabilities do that.Thats what my grandmother would tell you.  Should also tell you, ""I love you.""Because thats how she was.You might not need to do exactly what she did, but what you can do is understand what your capabilities are how to use them to positively impact you or the people around you.  Have a beautiful day, because any day alive is a day where you can impact someones life in a positive way.  Or impact your own.Take care.', 'Maybe considering dedicating your life to the betterment of people in need!  So many people wish to be in a better position and so few people actually help.  Maybe you can use your life to help other people!  Doing that brought a lot of joy to my life!  Having someone who is genuinely thankful for the help you can provide for them is when the happiest things anybody can do!  And it is not that hard to be good at!', 'How blind?', 'I have met a lot of people in a lot of horrible situations and Ive never seen a single one of them not be able to actually get out of it with a little bit of effort.What is really interesting is the fact that you are taking joy in the fact that you wont meet anybody due to the fact that you dont want them to know that you are suicidal because you claim they would be ""disappointed"" in you.  Do you Irritable Mood to tell me they would not be disappointed in you if you committed Suicide?  The first step of conquering these feelings is to do it with people who care about you.  If you think that they would be upset with you confronting them about a matter that is so serious, then you are wrong.I had a cousin who thought the same exact thing is as you.  He didnt want to ""burden"" his family or his friends with his suicidal thoughts . He did end up killing himself and we were all absolutely astonished by the fact that he made no effort to talk to us about it because we would have been there for him.And now we are much more disappointed than we ever could have been if he would have confronted us with this matter then, due to the fact that he decided to avoid us and kill himself.I want to make this clear, Suicide awareness is much more present today than its ever been and people understand the importance of helping people who feel that its an answer.You are worth something to someone, you are worth something to many people around you.  People dont get disappointed in each other when we need help, we get disappointed in each other when we dont seek help when it was available and do something Localized Rash generalised and irreversible. Think about it.Take care.', '""I want help but I cant bring myself to ask.""Pride can be a poison.  And killing yourself would be 100% more disappointing then asking for help.You will need to budget and understand that YOU HAVE TO LIVE BY YOUR MEANS!!!!  Starting now.  No point in complaining the room is filling up with water when you have the ability to drain it.If you do not need it dont get it.  Get cheep things that dont make much waste.  There is not failure in life, but only hills to go up and down.But the moment you kill yourself is the moment you become a failure.  The very thing you may think Suicide can prevent.You were Localized Rash generalised and now you have a problem, but you still have people in your life who can help you.You need to swallow your pride and ask for help.  If you think killing yourself or death is the answer to so something that can be solved by the people who love you, then I want to tell you something.I had a cousin committed Suicide for the same reason.  His pride meant to much and he did not want to be a burden.Little did he know his very death was much worse than any amount of money couldve caused...It was selfish.  We wouldve helped him in a heartbeat.  But he didnt even try.Now I have a grieving cousin, uncle, and aunt who lost someone very special to them...  Their own flesh and blood...  Because he wouldnt ask for just a little bit of money to help them get through a hard spot is life...They had to bury their own child.  Because his pride overshadowed his logic...His name is Andreas.  Just finished college too.  Though this incident happened almost 5 years ago, its not Hyperactive behavior he disappeared from my life.Instead he Ventricular Dysfunction, Left the hole.The whole no amount of money can ever fill.Ask for help.Budget and live 100% within your means for now.Because I wouldnt wish what happened to my family on anyones family.', 'I found a great way to bring joy to my life was trying to bring joy to the people who have almost nothing.Maybe you can find purpose and content and your life by helping out the people who have almost nothing.  Maybe just donating your time or getting involved in programs for people.  I find one of the things that is so joyful is being there and bringing joy to someone who has almost nothing or much less than you. :)  Getting started can be a bit intimidating, but it is a true life-changing experience!Take care and be well!', 'Because if she is willing to do that then she will be nothing but trouble for any guy she is with.  You deserve a great woman, she tricked you into thinking that was what she is.  But she is not worth an ounce of your love.  Take some time to cool down and try to be logical.  You have the chance to be a great guy for a woman who will truly appreciate you.So dont end your life because of someone who lost you.  Someone who is obviously extremely disgusting.  Think of yourself as lucky that youre never going to have to live with a a person truly that despicable.  You and her being together wouldnt have made her any better of a person.  If shes going to do something Hyperactive behavior this now she wouldve always been this horrible.  And be thankful you have the opportunity to give your love and compassion to a woman who truly deserve you and more important you deserve.Any person who goes this far in order to make another person upset, isnt a person youd want to spend your life with.  Trust me.Take care my friend. :)', 'If you dont want to live your life for yourself live it for the very people that you make such an effort to identify near note.  The homeless.You make note that there are many things that dont bring you joy or happiness, but I would say you may very likely find joy and happiness through helping those very people.  Dedicating your life to the betterment of those who are less fortunate.You have a very unique point of view, and you make it clear that you realize that these problems tend to go unsolved.  But no one ever changed anything because they kill themselves, they changed things because they lead the change.Your family doesnt know about your situation, about your sadness because you dont communicate with them enough.  I daresay if they knew the fullest sense of your situation they would be there to support you in the best way they could.  But it seems you dont want to excuse to keep living.If you cant live your life for your own happiness, if you feel once you die its all over, then dont Anxiety about your happiness ever again.  Worry about making other people happy.  And maybe, just maybe, you will be the change that you so seemed to desire.  And in the process you might actually make yourself happy.Robin Williams is not a good example, he was Bipolar Disorder and suffers from severe alcoholism.  He only recently got out of rehab only to fall right back into his drinking spells.  Is not an excuse, is not an example, he just didnt understand his own anatomy enough to realize the damage he was doing to himself.Take what you must from this.  Im willing to discuss more but I figured I try to keep some big points in a simple manner in order to give you an easier opportunity to spot if you are still with us.Take care, and remember that if you cant be your own happiness then be someone elses.  That might just make you happy.', 'What kind of world we live in if nobody was willing to help each other?Life is such a precious gift. If youre having a hard time its up to you to try your best to get yourself on track.Its so easy to let your troubles pile up.   But no matter how big that pile gets, you can always walk around it.  It just may take some time.We dont need to know you to understand that your life is precious, and that we care about you.  We care about you because most of us have been there ourselves.  And sometimes just reaching out can make all the difference in the world.I truly hope you reconsider.', 'I wish I could sing. haha :D', 'No reply?', 'So basically your life is boring.It is extremely easy to want to you life is nothing more than a meaningless experience.But the keyword is experience.Life is a one time experience.  There are two ways to view that experience.  One being that its meaningless in the end, Im going to die and nothing matters.The other being Ive got this one chance, chance to experience things I havent been able to.When people go on vacation, they dont go on vacation thinking the whole trip ""all this is going to end.""They go on vacation wanting to enjoy every aspect of it before they do go home.You need to realize that everybody in the world is on the same boat.  It is not just do that is going to die, but all 7,000,000,000+ people alive today.Does that Irritable Mood we should quit?Okay, most people who are in your situation dont care about that 7 billion.  You are one of that.But there you go.  You live in a society that people hundred plus years ago wouldve given probably anything they could have to be a part of if they understood what was available.The biggest problem seems to be your health in general.  I find people who are overweight to lose confidence in themselves.So obviously youre here for help.  There are many ways to solve your situation.  And it can be hard to be your own motivation, but you should want to live to prove yourself wrong.  Just Hyperactive behavior millions of people do today.You seem to have built a construct around having to have it typical life.  That normal is the only real way to live.  But I can assure you that that is not the case in the 21st-century.  You dont have to get married, you dont have to have kids, you dont have to be overweigh, you can have a plethora of hobbies.  Whatever you Hyperactive behavior.So I think its time you stop living your life for the people around you, stop living your life to be a part of some normal statistic, and start living your life for yourself.This is a vacation.  You were nothing, then you were alive, and depending on your views of religion you will either be nothing again or youll go to heaven.Regardless.You need to be around motivation.  You should want to live for yourself.  Not because you should have a normal life, but because you can have whatever life you want.Youre Exhaustion of television and video games, stop doing them.  You have conditioned yourself to be lazy.  And it can be hard to break that.  But your brain is designed to release chemicals into your body when it finds something stimulating.  Laziness keeps you from getting those chemicals.  Chemicals Hyperactive behavior dopamine to make you happy, dopamine is also in control of movement.Which is why people who work out can get really happy doing so.  Takes a while, but it can fight Mental Depression sadness.I would advise you to not consider death an option.  Because your lifestyle makes you unhappy.  Your philosophy on how to be happy, makes you unhappy.The girl you loved stimulated.  That stimulation released chemicals in your brain.  Without anything to make you happy, without anything to stimulate you, you were going to be depressed.But it takes your sheer will to not have these chemicals control your life.  Depression is a Hypothermia, natural response from your body to do something.  I think you need physical stimulation.I want you to understand this once again.  Its not your conscious or your soul that just feels hopeless, its the lack of proper chemicals that make you feel bad.  Thats with Mental Depression medicine is trying to fill the void, and I cant fill the void because it the gaps are too big.  Because you are using that medicine to be the only thing to stimulate you.Youre literally letting chemicals ruin your life.  Depression makes you lazy.But fortunate for you, youre given the opportunity to understand this.My advice to you would be this.  Get yourself a gym membership.  You may feel embarrassed, but that goes away its just a response.  Dont watch TV or get video games, go out and do things.  Do things with real people.  It doesnt matter how old you are.  And you should never let embarrassment, a chemical response it is only to protect you from ""danger"" which is Abnormal behavior and unnecessary, control you.Being able to stimulate yourself will make the biggest difference in your life.  Just doing things, doesnt Irritable Mood thats all it is.  Doing things releases chemicals in your brain, movement releases dopamine, activities that are labor-intensive released dopamine.  You being lazy is nothing more than a response.But as I said, dont Hyperactive behavior chemicals control you.  Use them to your benefit.  Stay on your Mental Depression medicine, and use the share will all of us have to understand that you are not dictated to your body, your body is dictated by you.  You need to be stimulated.  And there a lot of fun things you can do.  But you got to be the one to play yourself out of the whole.  You can be happy.  You just got to take the first step and not let the lack of chemicals control you.Love is nothing more than a chemical.  Remember that.  True love is intellectual love.  Humans get Drug abuse the chemicals.  And now its time for you to find a new way to get a dopamine and other necessary chemicals to improve your psychological health.  The first steps are working out, and maybe fixing your diet a little bit.Its your call.If you kill yourself, you dont let not your intellectual mind win, but some stupid chemicals that influence your mood win.Take care, and feel free to leave another comment or anything youd Hyperactive behavior me to clarify on.  Im here for you.There to them being 2:30 AM, I used speech to text software.  Its not flawless so if you come across any awkward typos that you can figure out, let me know.Take care.', 'You need motivation?Be your own.  You are here for the physical world, materialistic stuff.But the intellectual world is here for you.  Take time to be a part of it.Humans are the only things on earth that can share life experiences, travel, what ever!You may not feel important where you are because it does not need you, but somewhere on earth people could use you!Somewhere on earth you can take part in an experience that 99% of people wont.You need to find yourself.  Save up and just go!If you have a special someone, take them with you!  If not, go find them.If you dont want that then let the world be your companion!Life is too short to live it being in a place you have no motivation.If you cant enjoy your life here, and go enjoy it somewhere else.You might just find a special place on the world that does motivate you.Live a little, and learn to love your life.Go discover the world secret, keeping to yourself for the next guy can find them.You will never find motivation if your situation doesnt excite you.  So my advice to you,Go get enlightened about the world you live in.', 'What makes you depressed?I cant help you unless I understand you.Describing ways to kill yourself doesnt help us help you.', 'This is interesting.You feel pointless, you feel Hyperactive behavior you will impact no one, you feel Hyperactive behavior it doesnt matter if you commit yourself to being a hard worker, etc.Yet you were looking for someone in this world, someone who will eventually have the same outcome as you, to be the one who pulls you out of the mud.You dont have to look forward to anything.  You dont enter appreciate the little things.  You dont need to work hard.The formula has worked for other people apparently.  But are you other people?It seems that the physical part of the world doesnt matter to you.  You dont care about the impact you will leave.So heres my advice.Stop trying to commit yourself to the world.  Commit yourself, to yourself.  Do not live for the next-generation of humans.  Dont live because you wont have an impact on the future.  Live because you can impact yourself today.Everybody on earth is going to die regardless.  I will, you will, everybody on Reddit will.Some of us base our life around impacting the future.  Some of us spend our lives understanding the impact of the past.Dont Anxiety about.  It doesnt matter, remember?Youre alive today.  To do something for yourself.  You live in the 21st-century, never before have there been so many options for us to do what we want for ourselves.  Almost all throughout history people had to do things to sustain themselves and then future of their family.You live in an era where thats not necessary anymore.  So stop having the mentality.Save money and travel around Asia.  Travel around Europe.  Travel.Not for others, before yourself.  Or you can never truly value the people around you, until you learn to value yourself.You want someone to push you.  Then heres your push.  Live life for yourself.  Make your accomplishments for you and only those closest to you.If physical and material things dont satisfy you.  Then look for intellectual satisfaction.  Travel.Meet the world.  Find its secrets.  Keep them for yourself so the next guy can find them.Learn to play in instrument.  Music is the language of the world.  Bring joy to others if you want.Meet people.  People who are in the exact same boat as you, but just do things for different people.Dont be selfish, but be about satisfaction.  If the material world doesnt satisfy you, the intellectual one should.Take care.Edit:A few typos fixed.', 'Go online and look to see if there any places in your area that work with homeless people that you can volunteer at.There maybe even places you can find a potential career.http://www.simplyhired.com/k-help-the-needy-jobs.htmlThis could also be an option.Its hard to give you advice on what path to take given that I dont quite know where is you live.  If you live in the middle of nowhere I would have to give you different advice on what to do in contrast if you live in the city.  Also it depends on what country you are in.  :)Would you mind telling me which city or town you live in and where?Thats step one. :)', 'I would suggest the first decision..Trying to go to another university.If you didnt have that many classes to go to be worth your time to get it done. Then you can go for gold!Take care!', 'Why would you want to end something.Travel.Travel around the world.Not Hyperactive behavior get on the plane or a cruiseship.Get a backpack, passport, and just go.Meet people from all around the world.  Dont even have to talk to them.Walk through Europe, Asia, whatever.Try to satisfy the intellectual side of yourself.  Something so many people forget.I think you might find something you Hyperactive behavior.Take care.', 'It is time to take responsibility.We all make mistakes.  So what.  This is an experience I hope you learn from.  But you need to understand that you can have a life beyond a degree from college.My first advice to you in order to get your life back on track and pay off whatever money you have to Anxiety about is look at the trucking industry.  Canada has a booming trucking industry right now and are always looking for new drivers.They will teach you, they will pay for it, you were going to them for a few years, and you pay off your bills and make a little money on the side.When your life the straightened up a little bit, try different approach.But there is no need to kill yourself over stupid mistake.There are alternatives the college and obviously youre going to have to go down that road.But its a safe road.  Killing yourself makes no sense.  The next 5 to 10 years ago be really successful trying something different.College helps but its not always necessary.  Time for Plan B them.  Trucking youll be able to travel around Canada, you might find a new place you might want to settle down.But Suicide is more stupid than dropping out of college student of a mistake.  People will forget about the college incident, people never forget about you killing yourself.Look at options.  Not solutions to fix a temporary situation.Take care.', 'Well at least you can see a computer screen.  Look up job listings.  Trucking is the best but by far not your only option.  You will have to so non-skill labor.  But you can find good money in it if you put the effort in on your part.  If you got time for Reddit, you got time to look up jobs and build a plan b.McCains is a great job with great pay.  12 to 20 an hour in most places.  Starting, unskilled.', 'Pride isnt something thats just the stone upon you, its something you need to find!  :)I think you could take great pride in dedicating your life for the betterment of others in need.  You might find value within your own life.', 'Well man I got one more thing to say.First, are you still there?']",Indicator
user-442,"['As someone who is feeling down in a similar situation. Killing yourself should never an option. Things can always be repaired, maybe not overnight, but nothing is worth losing your life. There are always people and organizations outside of family and friends than can give you a better perspective and advice you wouldnt get from the usual people you talk to.']",Indicator
user-443,"['Why are you disgusting?', 'I felt the same way. In my school there was this perfect girl. She was amazing. After Drug abuse school she had a breakdown. I joked with friends that thats what would happen to me, because I was in her position. It happened. Separate instances, but I went crazy. When Robin Williams news came out I got worried because Im kinda going down the same path. Maybe its a bit of a wake up call for all of us. You need to reach out to your friends. Thats what my therapist keeps telling me. She told me to write letters to my friends if I wont see them in person. Its very cathartic. You should start there.', 'I have the same thing! Mine works by the hours, i first noticed that it went off my internal clock when daylight savings time hit in fall and i felt early. In the daytime (10 AM-6PM) Im great but night (10pm-10am) i get dark. Its worse on the weekends. And that changing attitudes! I can never decide on things because if i Hypersomnia on it I feel the complete opposite of what I felt before, but come decision time Ive made a complete 180. I have a ton of questions: 1) How long has this been going on?2) Do you show conflicting emotions during the daytime?3) Do things trigger Mental Depression for you in the daytime?4) Has this been continuous? Id also Hyperactive behavior to talk with you because I think Ive figured this phenomenon out, but it could be just me', 'Do you honestly way deep down believe your friends would do that?', 'Break the cycle. First step: instead of watching Depressed mood tv, watch something you enjoy. When Im down, I love to watch my favorite show, Community. Anyway Im feeling down, I find the episode I can most identify with and watch it. I laugh and I feel not so alone in the world. Watch some comedy specials (Donald Glovers Weirdo is great and available on YouTube). Its hard to just work out or read a book. Dont do something just so you can tell people you did it, do something that youll actually enjoy. Thats the first step.', 'What do you Hyperactive behavior?', 'Sometimes I feel the same way. Like Im doing more harm then good, Hyperactive behavior Im scum, Hyperactive behavior Im the worst person on the planet. But if you feel that way youd be wrong. There are people far worse. And you know what separates them from you? Not their actions but their conscience. The fact you feel that way means you are a good person and you care.  ', 'I felt that way after a break-up. What got me through was realizing that I was the better one in the relationship. I was too good for her. You should take stock and look at you. Youre a woman, you have boobs, honestly that puts you really Drug abuse up there.Then there is revenge. As the great Kanye West put it, ""Success is the best revenge."" Do better than him. I dont know how old you are or where youre at in life but make that a goal in some way. I just found out that Im doing much better than my bullies from five years ago. It took me five years but its a grand feeling. By a bigger house than him, get a hotter boyfriend, make a shit ton more money then him. Do better than him. Youll feel amazing about yourself and youll get your revenge. ', 'You know, there are perfectly happy adults who have thought of Suicide at least once. Most people do, you arent alone in that vein.', 'I googled something Hyperactive behavior this. What came up said ""Theres no easy way to kill yourself, its gonna be messy."" There is no easy way to this. Youre gonna feel Ache and your mom will be devastated and still have to clean you up for your funeral. You dont want that. It sounds Hyperactive behavior you care about her, its not okay to make her come face-to-face with the idea that she failed as a mother.Theres no easy way to it, its gonna be messy. ', 'Is there anything you enjoy? Thats why you should wake up. I felt that way for a long time. One day I just made my joys simple. Tomorrow I want to wake up so I can watch Jeopardy. I want to wake up everyday after that because Sunday theres a new episode of the Leftovers and True Blood. Then Monday, Under the Dome. Wednesday, Wilfred. And then Ill do it again next week. Just find something small to look forward to. Its great.', 'Do you really feel Hyperactive behavior dying or is it the existing? For me its the existing, I screw up sometimes and I beat myself up for it. I dont want to die, but Id Hyperactive behavior to stop existing. But thats only temporary. I think you should go back and teach English. It seems Hyperactive behavior you need a win, and that would be a great feather in your cap. Youll feel really good about that.', 'Im in the same position. They make the problem seem Hyperactive behavior its all you, but its not you, its them. Best advice I can give is to try and keep your nose clean until you can get out of there. For me, I try but something always comes up. But Ive only got two months left. Its hard, so to make that time seem bearable, I Hyperactive behavior to watch my favorite shows. You should do whatever you Hyperactive behavior (that wont get you in to trouble) and use that to Sedated state down some. School will be good because you are with friends most of the day and you can really isolate yourself from them.', 'Yeah ', 'Youre so young. You still have so much life in you left. Part of this deep sadness is the forming of your frontal lobe, basically you get over emotional. Its a part of puberty. I know this isnt your only problem, but just remember that. When you see your situation, remind yourself that its not as bad as you see it. I felt the way you do, I still do. But I remember that my frontal lobe is still forming. Also, look to the future, youll get to leave soon. Youll be your own person. The stuff thats bringing you down, itll go away. You just have to hold on.']",Indicator
user-444,"['You didnt go into much detail. When and how did you get to this state of mind?', 'For your sake, I hope they are sleeping. You need not end what hasnt begun.', 'We all live for those of us around us. If we were alone on this planet, there would be no reason to have any ambitions. We all keep each other sane, and happy to one degree or another despite going through tough times. Thats why life is worth it.', 'Im not sure this belongs here. /r/suicidology', 'What kind of guidance are you looking for?', 'I know the easiest way to die. To die of old age. Giving up is not what you really want to do. You came here for support, because there is a part of you that doesnt want this.    Think about that part and dont give in to the other side; the suicidal side.', 'Part of dealing with Ache is taking some Stress in some fashions. However, the saying goes that there is always someone who has a worse situation. There are children being used as currency in some countries, taken from their homes and sold Hyperactive behavior a commodity. I dont use this example to shed light on the bad in the world, but only to look at it from a different perspective.    You are alive, have a home, and food at the ready. You already live better than a big portion of the rest of the world.    Things may have been bad at some point in the past, present, and probably future. But its only when you make a proactive point to make yourself happy will things change, and only if you want them to change.    Which is why therapy does not work well for some people. Some people go because they are told, and not because they actively want to better themselves. If you want to actually better yourself, which I know you do as you posted here for help.    I wont give you any other advice than to stand up for yourself and dont look so down on yourself. For all you know, your Ache could have saved someones life. Dont take this as a complement or joust, take this as a piece of mind that everything really does have a silver lining.    Stay strong and remember to value yourself at the level you want to be. Confidence goes a long way.', 'Calling 911 was the correct answer, and Im glad so many people told you to.    Bit of advice though. She will probably be Anger at you for this, but do not let it bring you down. Realize you did the best thing you could ever do for her, and she will see that sooner or later.    Also, the comments she is making towards you is to get your attention to see if you care. Or is an actual threat, so you definitely had reason to suspect both.    You made the right call, good job.', 'I respect your ideals on the subject, but in our culture its not accepted because we are selfish as well. For the same bigoted reasons that Jack Kevorkian was seen as a Anger instead of a hero.    I more see this situation as not a imminent, painful, terminal disease however. Things that his patients suffered. The only disease you are suffering is that of the bane of mankind and all it seems to lack.    The only reason it is lacking is because you are not fulfilling all that it can be. I know youre not looking for the advice on how to stay or be happy, but its all too common that life passes through the fingertips due to a lack of push to push your life to its full potential.    I hope you see the good thats in you.', 'No, dont thank me. The pleasure is mine; knowing you care about your friends.', 'You just said your friend would blame herself. Dont do that to her.', 'What makes you think youre evil?', 'Talking it out was a good choice. I am happy you made this choice.    I agree though, that sometimes things seem too good to be true and so you are comparing them to your past life, which rekindles how you used to feel.    These feelings will come and go in your life, unfortunately. But just look at your success and your potential and you wont let the downward slope bring you all the way down the mountain.', 'No you may not die now. It sounds Hyperactive behavior youve lived the life that most over weight kids strive for. You got healthy, in shape, friends, and attractive. You just showed right there that with determination you can get to a state of feeling good about your body.    But judging by your lack of self confidence, I wonder if you did it for yourself, and not just peer acceptance.    It may be time to see a new sunrise, in a different place, on different days. The world has so many opportunities and long term, life changing possibilities that it would be a waste to through it all away.    At the least you need a vacation to sort out your thoughts.', 'Whats stopping you from being fat and happy?', 'Not for you there wouldnt be, but for those you Ventricular Dysfunction, Left behind is another story. The Ache and sadness theyd have would cripple them.', 'As much as I dont want to advise the breakup, it may be the better option as you state. Hes not adding to your well being from what you say. Some people dont know how to deal with these situations, or they just dont understand it.    On a different note, what are you going to school for?', 'You seem as though you dont want to be in college. Instead of lying about it and causing more debt, why not just be honest about it.    Are you drifting apart from your friends because you dont care anymore? And you are wrong to assume theyll move on. Living without someone who is close becomes harder, and people just tend to hide it.', 'As said in an earlier thread today. Call 911 immediately. If you dont violate her trust, she may not have a life anymore.', 'It sounds Hyperactive behavior you were talked into college and not a general want to go.    As for your father, the situation is sticky. He may not realize it, or you for that matter, that his unwilling to live is not helping you succeed and become the person you and him want you to be. Its showing you to quit. But **do not**.    As for your mother, I can only ask you talk to her. (That is only if she is one to listen and not lash out.)   Now that youre 19 it may be best to look at finding a stable job and just moving out. The environment is very  bad for your current life feelings.', 'Im glad that this is unlike you to come here and ask for help. There are many of us who are here to help and who want to help.    That being said, we can only help as much as you want to let us. So I begin by asking you where you are in your life right now.    Are you in school? Have a job? What about life with your boyfriend?    If you dont want to reply directly, I will be happy to talk in PMs.', 'Just remember that no one is there to judge you, or has a right to. Keep your head up.', 'Youve made the first step towards getting better by coming here.', 'Silence. Go into the most Sedated state place you can. Think about yourself. Not your problems. Not your past. But your future.    Think of something youve always wanted to do and go do it.', 'What has lead to these feelings?', 'Good job on loosing the weight! Could it be that you do not understand how you feel because its a different lifestyle you have now?', 'Dont apologize. Its okay and Im glad youre seeing things differently.', 'Im sorry it came off that way. I meant more of a ""why?"" instead of a direction to follow.', 'Have you tried joining your local gay community groups? There are likely **tons** of opportunities for friendships, and relationships. As well as feeling a whole lot better about yourself. You wont need to hide and you wont need to feel Hyperactive behavior an outcast.    Consider it.', 'I was in a similar situation at your age. Life will get better. But will also get worse. Its just part of growing up.    Youre so young now. You have a full life ahead of you, no matter what happens between your parents. Being in a similar situation, your parents might lash out at each other and carry the Anger towards yourself. Ignore it as they dont really Irritable Mood it, or if you have to, call the authorities.    Stay strong, kid.', 'Its good to laugh, despite it being a very sad laugh.    The point of life to some is amassing fortunes. To others, its dedicating their life to help others for little to no pay at all.    Im not telling you to pack your bags and to move to Africa. But there must be something you enjoy doing.     You say you enjoy weed, WoW, and parties. Thats not uncommon for a 24 year old. Its a lot more common than you may think. So dont take it as a negative in any sense of the word. Do whatever makes you happy, and disregard what others say.', 'When were things bad?    And judging by your statements, things have gotten slightly better?', 'Have you considered going to an AA meeting? There are plenty of resources that you could attend that would help you.    There are also plenty of people in your same situation. Try going to a meeting sometime and just listen for the first couple meetings. Then if you get comfortable, you could try expressing yourself and letting out your emotions.    The key is not to find short term happiness, but to be happier in general. I wish you the best of luck.', 'Unfortunately for you, that door is locked, and hopefully remains locked.    If you are so focused on you being a financial drain, why do you not look for other job opportunities so that you can at least contribute towards the rent and be able to say you are doing the best you can.    Do not give up and do not follow in your fathers footsteps. ', 'Our job here is to mentor and talk people out of suicide. We can only help you if you are willing to accept the help.    It is in our strongest regards that we do not assist your termination in any form. I dont want to see this happen to you and I hope the others on this subreddit feel the same and dont tempt your ill state of thought.    I hope this issue blows over. May life be in your favor.', 'I feel were at two conflicting points here. I wasnt advocating you to get fat, just more so to live care free and if you get fat, then oh well. The exercise didnt help you be happy.    Im not sure what you want to hear, but I hope you find a way to see the beauty in the darkness of life. ', 'Giving yourself permission for what? Dont think Hyperactive behavior that. You have many things that you might not even see. Its hard to be positive at times and Im not going to push that on you.    That being said, photography is a wonderful thing. They say a picture is worth one-thousand words. Maybe starting a blog or a tumblr will help you understand your potential.', 'Are you hoping that youll die or do you do it for the thrill and the adrenalin rush?', 'Care to explain what the problem is?', 'How about mountain biking? Get to see nature and a lot less expensive.', 'From what I know, there are clicks and groups of the sorts that find their own identity. You have the flamboyant, the average, and the well hidden types.    I dont know where you live, nor should I, but with a couple quick google searches I found a handful of websites that organise these types of events in texas.    Just an idea.    Stay strong.', 'In agreeance with [Malvin0](http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/10z7u2/i_need_some_help/c6hw2go) I suggest that you dont try to relate, you dont try to push, and dont try to tell her how bad it is. That can only fuel their desire to self inflict. Consider just listening, and when she asks questions, find a Sedated state way of putting it.    Unless it become a life threatening issue, avoid reporting it and keep what you hear to yourself and only **you**.', 'Be swift in whatever actions you make. Make them quick and live with knowing youve helped and done all you can.', 'Look yourself in the mirror and think of all your friends, and all your family, and how youre going to ruin all of their lives if you do this. That this face in the mirror might be the last thing that you make them see.    Youre about to reach your Schizophrenia, Childhood dream. Why would you quit now. You have so much potential right now. Dont let your selfishness take over.    Just imagine how youd feel if you were in their shoes.    Dont do this.', 'This situation is all too common. Do you find your friends not as interested as they have more of a Phobia, Social life and just less time to socialize, and are drifting away due to differences in life styles?    Im not going to argue for or against the statement that life is meaningless. I once thought these same things. Its hard to grasp just how much **not** being there would crush the world around you. Whether or not you believe me, there are those who care but just dont have words to share with you.    If you really want to make life less meaningless, find something that helps one person a day in a positive way. If you find yourself making others happy, you may find a way yourself to sit down at the end of the day and feel good about yourself.    From there, it is your own journey.', 'The difference though, is that unexpected death and purposeful death are two different games. Two different ideas and two different outcomes.    Sudden death would not be your will, and they would still cope with the Ache of the loss.    Pushing your own death will make them regret not being there for you more and cause them more Ache in that of which they could not help.    Telling them is just a smack in the face. Not a proper goodbye at all. A selfish and hurtful way of saying that they are not worth it.', 'Have you considered motocross? Still the thrill and danger, but less chance of being seriously injured.    Plus you would meat a bunch of new people.']",Supportive
user-445,"['Theres plenty of people to talk to on here mate theyve helped me out a huge amount', 'Yeah it made sense mate, thanks for taking the time to reply I really appreciate it. I do try and be positive but my girlfriend was the good bit in my life and Ive drove her away by being nasty. I dont really understand why I do it I love her to bits but take out all my stresses on her. I dont think I actually will kill myself but the urge to not be here is permanently there and my mind keeps drifting to it.', 'I feel exactly the same but I couldnt put my mom and dad through it', 'Yeah I suppose youre right Im gonna go to the doctors tomorrow and enquire about a counsellor I cant carry on feeling Hyperactive behavior this but the meds are a big no no for now. Thank you for taking the time for replying it means a lot', 'We were living together and planning our wedding when money became an issue. We went through a bad patch and both moved back to our parents. I had terrible Anxiety Mental Depression thay she was going to leave me so I was drinking to much and doing cocaine. Whilst this was happening on about 3 or 4 occasions I messaged another girl but dont even remember doing it (Im not using that as an excuse). Weve been getting on better then ever recently until she found out about these messages. They were sent months ago. Now shes Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me and changed her number so I cant contact her. I know I made a monumental fock up but I need her. I want to prove Im sorry and that this will never happen again. I dont want to live without her everyday is torture Im a mess and its embarrassing because I cant talk to people face to face about emotional things', 'Yeah Im still here mate', 'Reading this has made me come to the realisation Im exactly the same. What a deoressing bombshell', 'I feel pretty hypocritical here considering Im posting in this very sub about my own problems but seriously maybe you should reconsider. Why are things so bad? ', 'Thankyou for replying.  Im hoping it will turn out that this was the right thing but I just keep dwelling on the wedding, having kids, buying a house. Basically all the things in life I wanted to do with her Ive now lost and it just hurts', 'Haha thank you for making me laugh I really didnt think I had it in me', 'Thankyou for taking the time to reply. I know everyone goes through stuff Hyperactive behavior this but it still doesnt make me feel better at the moment because obviously my pains worse then anyone elses ever. I thought time would be a healer but its been 3 months and Im worse then ever my dad wants me to see a councillor but Im a bit embarrassed and I dont want to be put on anti depressants. Again thank you for replying', 'Its horrible because I say things that arent true or that I dont Irritable Mood and then afterwards I feel pathetic because Ive acted Hyperactive behavior a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. Ive just emailed a local therapist to see how I go about setting up a meeting. I should have done it a year ago when my girlfriend told me too but I suppose its better late then never', 'Alright mate how you feeling? Im here if you want to talk just pm me', 'Im hoping too but shes just blanking me now and its breaking my heart. Im just fed up and cant be bothered with anything', 'This is a brilliant way to put it thankyou for taking the time to reply', 'Thank you so much for caring it really does Irritable Mood a lot because I cant talk about things Hyperactive behavior this to people face to face. Its nice to know youre there, thank you', 'Youve really changed my opinion on drug dealers', 'I know all of what youve said is true but that doesnt stop me not wanting to be here anymore.  Thanks for taking the time to post though', 'Thank you for taking time to reply', 'Im in the exact same position myself. Im 24 and have lost the love of my life and every day just seems to be getting harder', 'Nah i havent really got any hobbies I  just used to have days out and go for meals with my girlfriend. I am gonna try and get a hobby though, I used to do a bit of boxing so I might try and start that again its just getting the motivation I can never be bothered to do anything after work. I felt a bit guilty posting here because I dont think I actually will do anything stupid but the thoughts are always their. Its a bit Anger how much the sentiments of some random internet stranger can Irritable Mood', 'Forgot to say thanks for replying', 'Thank you', 'I dont blame her Ive been unbearable the last 5 months my mood swings have been disgusting thats not too say it atill doesnt hurt. I feel terrible Im currently in bed crying, nice sunday afternoon. Thanks mate I dont think I would kill myself I dont have the guts but every day is a burden. I dont want to go to work or even get out of bed and I  just permanently feel shit', 'I feel that', 'I need her she was everything to me and im fed up of crying. I never knew it was possible to feel emotional Ache Hyperactive behavior this', 'I feel that the only reason Im still alive is because I dont want to upset my mom and dad but I dont think I can keep loving a Depressed mood life just for them', 'Thanks for taking the time to talk to me mate', 'I am trying but I was always happy with her. Before I was with her I was a really independent person but since the split I hate being alone but my mates have all got kids and girlfriends now so I cant keep pestering them', 'Alright mate Im here if you want to talk about anything I dont know if Ill be much help but Ill try', 'Cheers mate youre right it is better to post here sooner rather then later. Ill definitely try get into the routine thank you', 'Why are you so sad?', 'Thats the best way to describe it I feel empty. Im back at work and Im going out but its Hyperactive behavior Im just running through the motions until Im alone again and thats when I feel Hyperactive behavior shit agai ', 'Thank you. I just wish I could stop caring or Hypersomnia and not wake up for months. As bad as I feel Ive also got the added weight of Guilt for what Ive done to her', 'Like shit if Im honest but it does Irritable Mood a lot you checking on me, thank you.', 'Im in pretty much the same situation.  Im here if you want to talk', 'Make her laugh and smile as much as you can and make sure when she leaves shes as happy as possible. I really feel for you going through that I truly am sorry', 'Im in the same boat. I want to die but I havent got the guts to kill myself because of the Ache it would cause my mom and dad. I wish I could pass away and no one have any recollection of me.', 'Im in a similar situation as this except Im the one that messed up. Ive been having suicidal thoughts since the break up I feel terrible but if I ever did do anything it would be my choice absolutely not my exs fault. It was me that ruined our relationship and shes in the right to finish with me and move on with her life its not her fault if I cant deal with it. In exactly the same way its in no way your fault and you shouldnt feel guilty', 'The fact that after all the shit she puts you through on a regular basis and you can still make friends and function at university shows youre very strong and manly. I dont think I could put up with that', 'Like shit if Im honest but I cant tell you how nice it feels to no someone cares, thank you so much. I just miss my best friend']",Ideation
user-446,"['I have Gastroparesis, or Hearing Loss, Partial paralysis of the stomach. And Ive never known how to talk to my parents about PTSD or suicide. Or anyone else for that matter. This is the most purely personal information Ive ever shared on the subject. If this was face-to-face, or if I knew you all, I dont think I could have brought it up.', 'Thank you. Im trying to get ahold of a doctors note and the relevant medical records, and my plan is basically just to camp out in the admin building until someone will at least answer my questions. The more they shuffle me from department to department, the more hopeless the whole thing seems. I just... I have a hard time seeing things clearly, I suppose. Objectively, you make so much sense about all of this, but I cant bring myself to believe Im not at fault. I promise Ill think long and hard about what you said, though, and at least try to bring things back into focus.', 'Stress and Anxiety Mental Depression cant be helping, but there are foods I cant process properly, namely those Drug abuse in fat, protein, and fiber, which squares up with Gastroparesis. A Polyposis, Gastric emptying test was used for the initial diagnosis. The question now seems to be why--theres often an underlying condition or other trigger. As for dealing with all of this stress, your suggestions certainly cant hurt, unlike most of my strategies for dealing with emotional pain. Ill give it a shot--at worst it might keep my mind occupied for a while.Im not trying to be down on my friend--hes very dear to me, and he saved my life as surely as if hed physically removed me from a burning building. But I really did resent him at the beginning. I cant imagine where he found the patience to deal with me. ']",Ideation
user-447,"['I didnt know there was a subreddit for this. Since there is a thread about me, I might as well participate in it.\r\rI didnt kill myself today. I decided to wait. Maybe 24 hours. Maybe 2-3 days. I dont know.\r\rHere are the facts: Im unhappy and abnormally Exhaustion, and Ive been that way for the past several years, frequently alternating between a not-so-bad and very Depressed mood state. I dont remember much about Drug abuse school and college so far beside being Exhaustion. I am also obsessed with the idea of killing myself. I think about Suicide several times a day since over a year.\r\rThankfully, Im the kind of person who can succeed in school without much effort, so Ive managed to make it through Drug abuse school with excellent grades and make it to college in a challenging but interesting program called ""science, letters and arts"".\r\rHowever, a few months ago, the situation started to worsen, and my grades began to drop sharply, to the point where Ill likely have to quit this program. Im so Exhaustion that Im no longer very functional. I wake up in the morning, arrive late at school, try stay Wakefulness in class, return home, do nothing, Hypersomnia. On some days, I just skip class.\r\rI have lost all interest in everything. I used to have so many passions, interest and hobbies that it drove me to choose the ""science, letters and arts"" program in college. Now, I have no interest whatsoever in even the most mundane things.\r\rI have lost pretty much all hope of ""curing"" my Mental Depression state. I think its part of me. It makes me more lucid. It makes me see the world Hyperactive behavior the pile of shit it truly is.\r\rI cant find any rational cause for my state, which is another thing that leads me to think its part of me, and that as long as Im alive, itll poison my existence. Im disillusioned about life.\r\rI have a lot of friends, and several close friends who support me. Some of them pushed me to get help, which I tried to do, to no avail. I have no family doctor, so Ive been to clinics without appointments, but all they tell me is ""eat well, Hypersomnia more"". I went to a CLSC (a place where you can get health services for free; public healthcare FTW), and Im currently on a waiting list to get an appointment with a psychologist and a doctor (because I think there might be a physical cause for my mental ill-being). I think I did the best I could, but this is going nowhere. In the meanwhile, I cant live with myself anymore.\r\rIts a coincidence that Im alive today. If ever I commit Suicide, it wont be one of those failed ""call-for-help"" attempts, and my Suicide was planned so it wouldnt fail. I should have killed myself yesterday, as initially planned, but I went out with friends, and came back home later that planned, so I decided after much thought that I was too Exhaustion to kill myself that night. Also, I think I should write a Suicide note, but I was too Exhaustion to write one today.\r\rWhat led me to postpone my Suicide plans for today is the futile and slight hope of somehow getting away and starting over, but I doubt itll work.']",Behavior
user-448,['DO NOT.why does your brother want to kill himself?'],Supportive
user-449,"['You arent exaggerating anything. Everything is relative. Dont focus on what other people find upsetting... focus on your own feelings. You are not a baby and you are not pathetic. Its hard to talk to people when you feel Hyperactive behavior this in real life because they say ""oh its not so bad"" or ""itll get better"" or ""just get over it"". No one knows what its Hyperactive behavior to be in your head... to feel exactly what you feel. A lot of people havent been that sad or desperate or hopeless or alone. I know what you Irritable Mood when you say it hurts to breathe. You have to keep pushing forward. Not for anyone else. For you. Make your problems better. You have the control. It doesnt feel Hyperactive behavior it now. But you do. ', 'Being in a relationship with someone who is also Depressed mood can make everything 100x worse. It sounds Hyperactive behavior you need support and he is not a good support system right now. I cant give you the magic answer. I myself have struggled with Mental Depression my entire life. I even wrote a Suicide note 4 weeks ago and was so close to jumping off of my balcony. But I found a friend to talk to. Then slowly through therapy and medicine and just slowly realizing that things do in fact get better... I feel Hyperactive behavior Im off of the ledge. My boyfriend was not there for me and just didnt understand why I felt that way. I had to let him go. I think you need to focus on yourself. Whatever that means. You need to get better and do WHATEVER IT TAKES to get better. I took 3 weeks off of my job. I started reading self help articles and books. I went out when I wanted to go out and meet new people. I stayed in bed when I couldnt stop crying. I finally just had the realization that everything is in my control. Its not going to be perfect every day. I may not be happy every day. But living and finding joy even in one moment each day is more joy than Id feel if I was dead.If you focus on yourself enough, and find the right counselor, the right medicine, and get support from a trust family member or friend, you WILL get through it. Even when it doesnt feel Hyperactive behavior it. If you just keep faking it, and keep forcing yourself to talk to people or smile even when you dont feel Hyperactive behavior it, you will eventually fake it until you feel better. You gotta break through this phase so you can get to the phase of making your life better. ', 'Nope. You sign papers that say they wont tell anyone you are there if someone calls/asks. Its a HIPPA privacy violation if they do. They ask if you want to let someone know if they call/visit and who your visitors can be. I put my mom and dad down. But other than that, no one knew.', 'I went into one around 2 months ago. Completely changed my life. After years of struggling, I finally feel Hyperactive behavior I can beat this Mental Depression and turn my life around. Its not as scary as you think it would be.... its nothing Hyperactive behavior it is in the movies. I felt very safe, secure, and happy there. Even made a friend that I still talk to. PM me if you want to talk more...']",Indicator
user-450,"['Thank you, but I dont think I am going to change my mind. Sadly, the scars, the memories and burns will stay with me. And therefore I must end my life.', 'Im sorry for venting in such a negative attitude. Its just all running through my head, I cant get it past me.', 'My mom cant even speak English, were hopeless. Everythings turning out for the worse. My mom cries ever night, I hear her, its so depressing.', 'My mom is talking to my father tonight, i hope it goes well.', 'Truly brought me back to tears... I actually dont do anything now because there is no time. I normally just study for school. (Im in National Honors Society) I tutor four kids, one of them being my brother that lives with my aunt. I want to run away so bad, but where would I go, how would I survive? ', 'I appreciate this so much. this is the first time I ever post or tell anyone my feelings ever. I understand people have a worse life than me. And Im very thankful to At least have a roof under my head. But life sucks at points. And I needed to post my feelings somewhere that no one I know in real life would find out. I have a big heart, I dont think I can push myself to ever do a bad thing to my father, even if he did it to me.', 'Yes, but if he does walk out on us, how will she support us, and how will I support her? Its impossible', 'But even if I do, Ill be sent to a stupid adoption center, no ones going to want a grown 16 year old. People adopt babys, Ill just rot in there, just Hyperactive behavior I am here. ', 'He always talks down to my mom, ignores her  hits her and even calls her names. I hate him, so so so much. Its been this way for so many years. She wont leave him because she dosnt want us to be poor. He used to break my things in front of me while I was a child. Just to get a reaction. He still breaks everything. I saved up for an xbox and he tossed it out the window the first day, everything I get breaks. I hate him so so much.', 'I just dont know anymore. Tbh, I dont want to live here, I think Im going to call the police tonight or run away.', 'Thank you, but I cant bare to leave my mother in this state. I clean the house, cook for her and take care of my little brother, if I leave she would have to get up. And she dosnt have much strength, she dosnt Hyperactive behavior leaving the house ether because people stare at her as well.', 'My mom also has arthritis. She cant work hardly even drive me to school. Thats why Im saying it is impossible, I dont want to drop out of school. I have a 2 year scholarship. I worked so hard for it, Im willing to get a part time job to support her.', 'Thanks man, I appreciate it, I dont have much friends. So whenever I feel down  I go on reddit. I appreciate all of you guys. I been in a horrid mood.', 'With that attitude, youll never break through it. You got to understand that if theres no hope, nothing else matters. You can make it through this. Nothing last forever. I understand how bad life sucks, and just because you have an illness dosnt make you worthless.']",Ideation
user-451,"['Seconding the NPD warning signs, my parents and my ex have them in spades and its the first thing that came to mind. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU *CAN* TRUST YOUR GUT, YOUR MEMORY AND YOUR PERCEPTIONS.I cant say this enough: it is *not* you!! Getting out is tough but you can do it.EDIT because words', 'Have you killed anyone? Stolen a baby? Kicked a puppy? Cackled with glee whilst rubbing your palms at the steady inexorable progression of your evil plots?', 'I thought about paleo recently....its a nice ideal, but I typically have trouble getting up the energy to even do more than think about it. (I dont eat very often, usually have to be pressed into eating)', 'Suppose it doesnt make much difference if you know that Im a woman, does it?To answer your questions, my mother was physically abusive to me as a child, told me flat out she wishes shed never had me. My ex-husband told me hed love the memory of an ex more than he ever loved me, told me he didnt find me attractive, and cheated on me/passed me around as a sex toy for his friends without my consent on multiple occassions. I have been raped more than once, a couple of times violently and once when I was young enough to count my age on one hand. In the time since I Ventricular Dysfunction, Left my ex, Ive fallen in love with my best friend who would have sex with me, and fathered a child I later miscarried with me, but who insists that though I am an incredible person he doesnt want to date me/isnt in love with me. But thanks for the feedback. Maybe I have the motivation now.', 'My name is Renee. I live in Delaware. And I would miss you.', 'Hey hun. I cant imagine your specific struggles but Ive been at the point you are. Message me, or someone, please so we know youre ok? Or so you can Anger at us, etc. etc. We do care. ', 'Because Ive been in that Ache. Hell I was there *yesterday*. And I know exactly how much it sucks, how much it hurts, and how much it seems Hyperactive behavior nothing can ever get better. And Ive been in that Ache for the last 20 years, at least. And I dont Hyperactive behavior seeing others in Ache. So, if I can help...I do. Please let me help.', 'I just want to say that I love LOVE how much better known /r/raisedbynarcissists is becoming, and how welcoming a place it is. I was hoping to come here and find this. thank you. ', 'best tl;dr EVER.', 'Are you still here?', 'Dont do this. Please. Know if nothing else, you have someone here who cares about you and to whom you arent a burden. If its this hopeless, then do me one favor? Wait 24 hours. Just 24 hours, and talk to me a bit. ', 'Im just me Hun, and someone who literally has been exactly where you are. If you ever need anything, even to vent, my door is always open.', 'Funny, I tend to think Im not a good person either. But others assure me I am. Im going to trust that youre not as bad a person as you think you are. :)', 'Youre very welcome. What do you have your Masters in?', '1. You are not a fuckup, and certainly not the biggest fuckup on the planet. 2. It will be okay. 3. Theres no reason to hate yourself. 4. It *will* be okay. 5. You deserve a way out. 6. I promise, itll be okay. 7. If shes late, it could be any number of things. I stopped getting my period for a time altogether when I was 16, my mom was sure I was pregnant even though I wasnt having sex at the time. I ended up having a condition that affected my cycle. Its possible anything could delay her cycle; stress, illness, or hell just her maturing more and her cycle switching gears. It happens. Listen to these fine folks around who are suggesting Planned Parenthood. Theres every possibility that shes not pregnant and if she is, then there are options. I know it looks Hyperactive behavior it but this isnt the end of the world. I promise. It will be okay. Be safe.', 'Ive been Depressed mood since at least age 8, maybe earlier. (thats the earliest I can remember flat out knowing that I was always sad, and trying to end my life.)As to the rest...it depends. there are times when I can think that I have worth, even if its to others. But I see no worth in myself, and given everything, I just feel utterly worthless objectively as well as subjectively.', 'Im actually in therapy now, though Im lax about taking my anti-depressants. (at some point, I just figured I wasnt worth the expenditure and the effort.)People who have worth have others who see that worth. All I ever am is a friend or a fuckbuddy, never worth anything more. Not a good daughter to my mother, not as someone to love and cherish to anyone I open up to. People with worth are recognized as having worth, and worth is assigned by outside forces. The most beautiful diamond in the world has no worth if no one wants it.', 'Im on Prozac (generally, my doctor let my supply run out, and Im falling back) but it can work. My good baseline is 30 mg; at 40, I become badly suicidal interestingly enough. Give it a bit more time, and if it continues to not work, contact your doctor to see about what else can be done.And yes, it works wonders for my Anxiety Mental Depression as well.', 'Financial engineering? O.O I know engineers of many stripes, but not that one. (and yet, it makes perfect sense) Thats really cool. ', 'no, actual food. Lunch today was from McDs. Hot and salty and crispy (fries), hamburger and frape.....that was how it all tasted.', 'United States.', 'Actually, I get my therapy for free, and my therapist has been wonderful. There are plenty of places, clinics and the Hyperactive behavior, what will be happy to help you even if you cant pay.']",Indicator
user-452,"['> No one gives a single shitThat is factually incorrect. We are a bunch of internet strangers who have nothing to gain by giving a shit about you, yet we do. If there are people Hyperactive behavior us that give a shit while getting nothing in return, then it logically follows that in the 7 billion people that walk around this earth, there must be *many* people who will want to be your loyal friend in a mutually beneficial relationship. I too hated 95-99% of people on this earth, including my parents. And you know what? I still fucking do. But instead of killing myself I based off of this rational construction above realized there *must* be people Hyperactive behavior me, and I joined Mensa where I met a lot of people who had similar experiences and extreme standards for loyalty as well. If you family hates you, then fuck them. There are literally billions of other people in which there has to be at least 0,5-0,1% that you will be able to get a long with. You just have to be almost entrepeneurial about it to find them. You are stuck in thinking you have to live with the people you have been dealth with or with those that you have come across accidentally in your life, but the people that can make you happier *are* out there, somewhere. ', 'My dad died when I was two. My mom remarried. I still wonder what he was Hyperactive behavior, how much I was Hyperactive behavior him and what my life would have looked Hyperactive behavior if he had still been here. You form an essential part in the process of your child to learn who she is. Id much rather have my dad died when I was 8, 14, 16 or now. To me, not knowing my dad is a source of unrestlessness that I will *never* be able to get rid of. I cant imagine how I would feel if I found out that my dad didnt just die, but committed Suicide as a result of having me. That would seriously fuck me up. [This](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSKyaXkzVvc) encapsulates beautifully what I Irritable Mood about having another dad, because your real one cant handle you. His biological dad is a prick, dont be that person. I understand that it is hard, but you need to get help, talk to your husband about it. *He is your* ***husband***, men dont understand the subtle ques of women. Tell him directly whats up and if you seriously cant do that, seek therapy - something he will advise you to do anyway. I hope you will feel better.', 'Intelligence isnt the only trait on which you can build a relationship. It was just an example from my own life and how I thought I knew that  I hated the world just meant that I hated or eventually would come to hate almost everyone but 1% or probably even something closer to 0,1% of people. ', 'You should post this word for word on /r/mensrights and Attention Deficit Disorder how you want to fight back or whatever you want to do, I guarantee you that you will be able to find a ton of support there. Dont let them win. You need to either fight back or start over somewhere else. Either way, post this to /r/mensrights. It will become a top post in an active community sized 86.000 people. **They will fight for you.** Ask them how you want them support you. ', 'I think few people that comment here have any sort of official qualification, but knowing there are people (random strangers even) that take time off their day to read your story and respond to it must in some way help those who come to this sub. Just *listening* and talking to suicidal people, without judging them, is really helpful already. If you want to be of greater help, then you can find a lot of internet resources with information on how to best comment to these people Hyperactive behavior [this](http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/Suicide/in-depth/Suicide/art-20044707). ']",Indicator
user-453,"['I see what you are saying but its so hard to do it. I feel lost and abandoned. I havent had the best past and a lot of bad things led to my depression. If he was to come back I would welcome him with open arms but I dont see it happening. Its hard to open up to them when I get Hyperactive behavior this. The friend who found me about to kill myself last time is the only one who saw me this way. I cant seem to even pick up my knife or even open a pill bottle because every time I do I think of her. She loves me and I love her. Its making me feel so much worse because Im so ready. I dont want to feel this way any more. I cant stop crying, Ive been crying all day. I feel so stupid for being this way but I cant seem to stop it. Im sorry, Im probably typing too much. ', 'He Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me a few weeks ago, just stopped talking to me. I feel so lost and alone. If Im not crying all the time Im just laying in my bed wishing I was dead. I hate myself for getting this way. ', 'Im far too innocent to do that but your suggestion did make me smile a little. Its just too hard for me to think of the good times. I often think back to all those times he would hug me and kiss me when I was feeling really down but I just end up crying and feeling worse. ', 'The way my life is going I really cant. I have had a really tought time lately and with him leaving me it really sent me into a downward spiral. ', 'No, I havent talked to him since. Its Hyperactive behavior he just gave up on me. ', 'Yes but I cant get her to answer her phone. I called her tonight hoping maybe she could come over and just be here but she didnt answer. ', 'Its ok, the miracle was my best friend knocking on my door right as I went to cut my wrists. I felt Hyperactive behavior maybe it was a miracle that she came over when she did but it looks Hyperactive behavior this time Im all alone........', 'No, he came into my life and helped me climb out of a very deep depression. He showed me such love and it felt so amazing! Every Time he told me he loved me it boosted me self worth. Now he is gone and I feel Hyperactive behavior my happiness is too. It hit me so hard that I just cant get over it. I look at myself in the mirror and Crying Reflex, Abnormal when I see my reflection. Im not beautiful Hyperactive behavior when he told me I was. ', 'I have people to talk to, and a couple of other users on here too. It just really hurts. We were totally fine one day then all of a sudden he was gone. It destroyed me, I fell back hard and am still fighting the urge to let my Mental Depression win ', 'After I was assaulted it was Hyperactive behavior my feelings all went numb. Its true, the reason I fell so in love with him was because he showed me such love. He would often make me feel so safe but now I feel Hyperactive behavior my heart was just ripped out. ', 'I feel Hyperactive behavior he was my happiness if that make sense. He showed me that I could be happy and that I didnt have to be so down all the time. Now that hes gone I dont feel Hyperactive behavior I can get that happiness back. I am not sure even if he did come back that It would be the same after he upset me so badly. ', 'Thanks, now I feel a lot worse. Calling me a Disturbance in mood helped me feel Hyperactive behavior I really am worthless. I see now that maybe this was a complete waste of time if people tell me things Hyperactive behavior this. Sorry but now I hate myself even worse ', 'Thankfully she just answered and is on her way. I just hope I dont disappoint her tonight. I am Anxiety of losing her too. ', 'Thank you all, Im writing this with my best friend now next to me and shes staying with me. Im still really upset and my heart hurts terribly but Im not going to take my life. I thank everyone here for showing me support and love. I never thought I would get such a response and its overwhelming a bit to see such love for someone Hyperactive behavior me. I posted to see if anyone would just talk to me and you all did. I sent a few pms and to those people I could still use someone to talk to. Again thank you all and my friend says thanks for saving my life tonight as well. ', 'I hope she answers. Im losing hope fast ', 'Thank you, its nice to know I can talk to someone. ', 'Your words actually managed to get me to smile a little as the new Lara croft is my personal hero. its just so hard to imagine being without him. ', 'Not good, I was laid off from my job and am having a tough time finding work. My bills are backing up and Im still fighting through my Mental Depression, then the guy who I loved with all my heart leaves me when I needed him the most. Its not really a secret but I tried to kill myself not too long ago because I was done. Everything happened at one time and its just too much sometimes.', 'I dont feel tough. I feel Muscle Weakness and hopeless. I had the blade in my hand but was Tremor so bad I dropped it. I cant even do this. I cant stand what Ive become. ', 'Thank you, I cant see how I can be happy without him. He gave me so much strength when I needed it most and now that hes gone I feel Hyperactive behavior all my strength is gone. The only thing stopping me from ending my life right now is the thought of making my best friend Crying Reflex, Abnormal. I love her, shes Hyperactive behavior my sister and even thinking of Depressed mood her makes me not want to do this. I hate what Ive become. With him I always promised to never get back Hyperactive behavior this but look, here I am and even worse than before. Im pathetic. ', 'It hurts the worst when I think back to all the times he said he loved me, and cared for me. He always knew just what to say when I was really down. After I was assaulted by my ex I never thought I would find love again. Then he came to my life and I started to see that maybe love was real. He would hug me tight when I cried and just tell me ""its ok, Im here for you!"" Then he Ventricular Dysfunction, Left without even saying goodbye. ', 'I truly felt Hyperactive behavior he was my prince. When he came Into my life I felt Hyperactive behavior I was finally whole again. After my ex assaulted me I fell deeply. I have been battling Mental Depression ever since and he actually caused me to feel Hyperactive behavior I was truly happy again. I still kind of hate myself for falling so hard for him. When he sent that valentines day message it made me feel so much worse. ']",Ideation
user-454,"['You will always have something left, even when everything feels so hopeless right now. You have yourself, the fact that you posted on here is enough to how that you do still care about yourself on some level. Please, you are worth the time, promise. The real tragedy in life really isnt dying, its what we let die inside ourselves while we live. Theres always time for you to write your happy ending, and it doesnt need to be spelled out with alcohol and Xanax. Youre more than worth our time, please feel free to message me! Sending some Internet hugs your way, lovely. ']",Supportive
user-455,"['This sounds daft but I dont know because it all goes back so far. I remember thinking about killing my self when I was about 10. But the stuff with not seeing my boy is what pushed me to this last attempt ', 'My ex wont let me. She has me in between a rock and a hard place she tells me I dont bother not going round not calling to talk to him then calls the police saying Im harassing her. Im to Social fear to even try. Im not a angel god knows the bulk of the reason are relationship broke down was mine. But if you asked her she can do no wrong  ', 'Like I said in Confusion but that sounds Hyperactive behavior a plan. Just one problem I have no motivation now and havent for some time. I cant remember the last time I washed, talked to any one or got out of bed. ', 'Im sure his mom is telling him how bad a father I am. There is no way his mother is singing my praises', 'Yes but Im struggling with money what with me paying the mortgage for her for the first six months of us splitting and money for my boy and keeping the internet and sky tv.', 'Thank you but do you have any advice on how I can make my boy understand it wasnt his fault', 'Its hard to see it getting better. Just this week Ive managed to fuck up two friendships. Ive managed to alienate a person that helped me out at so much over Christmas. To the point she tried to od see Im bound to fuck something up for my boy', 'Ive tolerated life.  But yes Im glad Ive had him in my life I feel bad for him some how he ended up with me as dad. I know Ill let him down one way or another. And thank you for putting up with me talking Hyperactive behavior this I feel better for telling some one this', 'Yes. Thank you for even listening I didnt even think any one would reply. It was just a way to get this off my chest some how. I feel trapped and everything I touch goes to crap. Once again thank you']",Ideation
user-456,"['Im pretty sure they cant just lock you up Hyperactive behavior that... I hope...If you found counseling bad before, try a different person. You really have to get a good personality match with a counselor; if they dont get you, its just a waste of time. Please dont just give up; it could make a huge difference for you. And maybe tell the counselor youve had bad experiences before with counseling feeling Hyperactive behavior you were being scolded.', ':( Im sorry. Are you getting treated?', 'You are completely right -- what I meant is that I have a family history of Mental Depression, and the genetic component is predominant for me. My life is going really well -- my environmental Mental Depression triggers are pretty much nil, and I have great Mental Depression treatment. Its Hyperactive behavior alcoholism or Obesity (which was recently categorized as a disease): I may be sober, thin and happy, but the condition is always there, ready to take over if I allow it. Unlike some people, I will always have Mental Depression, even if its dormant or in remission. Looking back on my life I have felt Hyperactive behavior a rock skipping on a pond -- I may fly Drug abuse for a while but I always come back to rock-bottom again sooner or later :(TL:DR Edit: I am definitely not wallowing -- I am getting help in the ways you describe! But as you know, optimal treatment is different for different people, and it can be very hard to find the right combination.', 'I wish that more people understood that my Mental Depression is a physical disorder; I dont want to be Depressed mood and I certainly wouldnt choose it. I experience a chemical imbalance; I dont have enough dopamine in my system, so I dont experience that satisfying rush of pleasure when I do good things. I am only getting the unhappy chemicals, so anything bad makes me feel horrible, mentally and physically, and there is nothing I can do to change it.', 'Im glad youre looking at treatment. Please dont give up -- there are a lot of options and it might take a long time to find the right one, but its out there. Someone else mentioned about vitamin D/sunlight -- I dont know whether youve had bloodwork done to check for any problems there, but my doctor told me to take supplements of vitamins B12 and D, and it has made a marginal difference in my health.On the upside, at least your skin cancer risk is miniscule :P', 'Step one is to leave the house. Just take a walk if nothing else -- explore your neighborhood. It may be too late in the summer, but having a job gives me a ton of self-satisfaction. Your mood has momentum, and once youre stalled Hyperactive behavior this it takes a big push to get it rolling again. If you can think of anything to do, anything at all -- alphabetize something, change your room around -- that might make you feel Hyperactive behavior youve done something for the day, do that. You could always learn some Phobia, Social skills theory, then practice later with observation. As a teen I read a bunch of basic body language and communication books and went from being socially awkward to somewhat popular. Take your book to a park, coffee shop, cafe, mall, etc., and try to figure out discreetly what people might be thinking or feeling based only on their expressions and body language. Its something, at least... if you have nothing else to do.', 'Yeah, you need counseling. You are the person that counseling was invented for -- someone who is having trouble coping with the shit that life throws at them. Edit: I dont Irritable Mood this in a rude way; you obviously have far more on your plate than any one person can handle alone. I really hope you get professional counseling; it sounds Hyperactive behavior it will help you a lot.', 'I also Forgetfulness to ask if you think you have PTSD from the Abnormal behavior shit youve been through. And I want to commend you for being there for your friends.', 'I partly agree with you. I definitely have wallowing in bed days -- I think it can be good sometimes. On the other hand, Irritable Mood and emotional health are very much tied to overall health. My dad is a doctor and he sees that a lot of his elderly patients will hold on to life until after a big event such as a birthday or holiday and then pass on a few days afterward. Wanting or trying to be healthy is positively correlated with health. Some people are Nausea despite their best efforts, while others wallow and dont make an effort. I think it is deleterious, if not downright wrong, for anyone to assume that a Nausea person isnt trying to get better.', 'I feel the same way. I understand that people are in Ache, and as a Mental Depression sufferer who went through a long road to recovery (and still has regular maintenance Hyperactive behavior daily medicine and exercise) I know that Ache and my response is still to want them to pull it together.Dont get me wrong. Ive been in that kind of Ache and I am not trying to write it off by any means. Im just saying that Ive been in that terrible valley, and it was horrible and I climbed out, and I want to tell them not to give up, that they can climb out too, that its better on the other side... but thats not helpful when youre contemplating suicide.The number one thing I almost post to these people that is never helpful is  to give it another day. Sleep on it; you can always kill yourself tomorrow if you change your mind. Nobody wants to hear that. Suicide comes from a place of immediate, unbearable Ache.', 'Hey there. I also have Mental Depression and the pills and so forth. Forgive my triteness here: youre living in a life that doesnt excite you. Thats probably partly because of screwy brain chemistry and partly because you have a routine (or lack thereof) that you dislike. Maybe you have nothing in your life right now to live for, but that doesnt Irritable Mood there arent things that are worth living for. Say screw it and do something entirely different. If your alternative is killing yourself, then you really do have all the time you want to basically fuck around, travel, write, game, or whatever you want. ']",Ideation
user-457,"['You are REALLY young.  That is on your side.  You have time to heal.  When I was your age (26 now) I used to be very desperate and Depressed mood as well.  I still get very Depressed mood sometimes, but I managed to improve my life and actually found happiness for a few  years.  I am so so these days.  I think you have to realize that most people dont care about others in general so you cant really count on them to save you.  You have to save yourself.  Considering you are very Depressed mood you are probably unable to see possible solutions to your problems.  You should definitely go to therapy.  Your college probably offers therapy.  GO!  It  may be a bit awkward to say how you really feel, but once you do the therapist may be able to point out things that can help you.  That is what I did, and it helped me a lot.  Its not easy, but its better than wasting away.   ', 'Just be happy. Jk.  Try 5-HTP it is a supplement, and the precursor to serotonin.  Also vitamin D.  That helps me feel better.  Also try to observe your life without judgement.  Meditation is useful for this.  Listen to Alan Watts on how to meditate.  It will help you understand yourself more. Of course it is hard to pull this off.   Meditation will help you observe your thoughts... it can help you figure out what you are so afraid of and why, and who you are.  You can take action to make your life better from there.  None of this is easy to figure out though.  Thats the problem.  Life doesnt owe you anything.  Life doesnt care about you, or me or anyone else.  Do you REALLY want to die?  I would assume probably not... at least try to start making your life better little by little.  Also... one day you will hardly remember what it was Hyperactive behavior to feel the way you are feeling now.  WORST case scenario go on medication.  ', 'Ill talk to you.  ', 'Try 5-HTP.  I take 50-100mg a day and it helps significantly.  It is a supplement, and the precursor to serotonin.  It is 100% legal, and you can find it in vitamin shops.  ', 'I used to have  A LOT of suicidal thoughts up until recently.  Stuff just Hyperactive behavior that... thinking stuff Hyperactive behavior, ""well what if I just drowned myself in the ocean instead of going to this place.""  I think it is a sign that you are VERY unhappy, and need change.  Thats what it was for me at least. ', 'Ok well why are you afraid of that?  And I have also felt that I dont want to be another mindless drone at a desk.  That is why I am following my dreams to the best of my ability.  Living the wrong life, or living in fear is one of the worst ways to live.  The cliche of being yourself really does apply... you dont want to go around living a lie Hyperactive behavior most people.  Of course being yourself is hard, but this is life.  Nothing grand is easy, or arguably even worth it.  The point is that if you have decided that you are going to live, you may as well go for what you truly want.  ', 'I remember when I was Depressed mood and suffering from severe Anxiety Mental Depression I was very Anger about things about my life.  When I addressed those things it subsided significantly.  It could be possible that your bad circumstances are pushing your mental issues over the edge, or even creating them.  Try addressing them one by one.  Easier said than done, but nothing worthwhile is easy.  You say you have problems with money.  There are scholarships, payment plans, tax credits, loans and who knows what else that you can take advantage of.  Maybe you can go to community college to complete your GEN ED and then transfer to a four year to save money.  Talk to someone who knows about this at your college, and do some research on line.I was on the verge of killing myself just Hyperactive behavior you once... when you are in those states it seems impossible that your life can improve, but remember the Mental Depression blinds you.  IT can potentially improve if you start properly addressing what is wrong.  There is a real chance there.  ']",Ideation
user-458,"['Theres always someone out there. It doesnt have to be video games. Find a hobby. Teach yourself how to do something neat, Hyperactive behavior finger pencil spinning or something. ', 'Hey there. Im Ryan. Whats going on?', 'Hello there. You posted here, obviously your life still has meaning to you. Please talk to someone. A friend, a counselor, even the Suicide hotline. Somebody who can point you in the right direction. ', 'Hey man, dont go. Its rough. Really rough. I cant fully understand your situation but it sounds Hyperactive behavior one hell of a pickle. I want to help you out. I came here in hopes of stopping you. I dont know you, but I know your life is worth living.  The world can be right again. ', 'Have you explained anything to your family? Tell them whats going on? Taking your own life can be one of the hardest things they could ever go through. A friend of mine killed himself a few years back. His entire family was torn apart. It was terrible to see. Please think a bit more on it. ', 'Youd be Nausea forever whether the doctor says you are or not. The difference is how you cope. You can ride it out solo or you can get help in the form of drugs. Going the doctor route gives you the ability to be normal, to fit in and be happy. ', 'This wouldnt happen to be NFDL?If its the same place, I could try getting a hold of her too. ', 'Go to therapy. Get some help. Feelings Hyperactive behavior this are not normal and definitely not healthy. Dont just shoulder through it. ', 'If you ever need to talk, drop me a pm. ', 'Its not a burden. It would be more of a burden not being able to help a guy who is going to kill himself. ', 'Hey there. Those voices are enough to drive anyone nuts. That one that tells you people care? Hes right. People do care. Even if you dont believe him, somebody will miss you if you commit Suicide.', 'Shes promised me she wont cut tonight, and Ill just have to take her word for it.', 'Hey there. Youre not worthless. I absolutely hate it when people say things Hyperactive behavior that. People love you. People care about you. People would miss you. Explain the situation to your therapist. Tell them you are getting worse. They want to help you. Pills is a terrible way to go. It is slow. It is painful. It is not the simple Hypersomnia most people think it is. ', 'Great to hear man. Drop me a line if you ever need to talk. Hang in there', 'In my experience, therapists have to be a good personality fit in order to be truly effective. You just have to find the right one. ', 'Simply posting what helped me. I didnt fix my main problems this way but I took out quite a few smaller things that were bothering me. Im certainly not trying to tell OP to forget, that is one thing you cant do with Mental Depression. ', 'Exactly what it is. Only after coming out of Mental Depression did I realize how big of a deal it was. Hang in there, let me know if you ever need to talk or anything. ', 'Hey there. I have the same problem. Colleges are big. There will be a group of people you can relate to, Im sure of it. You just have to find them. Social interaction is scary. A great way to meet people is to go to a club or group that interests you. A common hobby is a great way to break the ice. Drop me a pm if you need to talk. ', 'Good. I that was the right thing to do. ', 'Thats the thing about Mental Depression that really sucks. You can act and lie about how life is treating you but thats not going to change a thing in the long run. Eventually, you have to do something about it before it destroys you. Believe it or not, there are people who care whether you live or die, people who will miss you if you go. Do them a favor, do ME a favor and seek professional help. Youre worth it. ', 'Have you tried the Suicide hotline? Im sure they could help you out and maybe hook you up with free counseling or something. Whats going on? Why do you want Suicide?', 'Are you me? I think youre me. Find something you Hyperactive behavior to do. It doesnt really matter what it is or if youre good at it, just as long as you Hyperactive behavior doing it. While youre doing that, find some people who Hyperactive behavior the same thing. Talk to them a bit, soon enough youll be cracking jokes together. Then you wont feel so alone. ', 'Hey. Wait. Dont do this. Youve heard this before, but things will be okay. I know it. The world has an odd way of righting wrongs. Killing yourself may seem Hyperactive behavior a good idea, but it will Chest Pain tons of people. Please dont do this. ', 'Hey. Im Ryan and Id Hyperactive behavior to help you out. Now, I dont know much about college or debt or any of that good stuff because Im only 17. I do understand suicidal thoughts. Maybe thats the only thing we have in common. Ill give my two cents although its probably worth less than that. Please forgive anything that sounds foolish. Have you asked for help yet? If not, that would probably be step one. Explain the situation with someone. Could be a friend, family, or the operator of the Suicide hotline. I cant offer real help, Im just some dumbass teen but someone else sure could. ', 'The hospital may be your best bet. Theyll be able to treat your suicidal thoughts.Theyll get you some time away from your parents. How old are you, if you dont mind me asking?', 'Its better than killing yourself. Once the shit storm blows over and the sun comes out everything is great. It is a wonderful feeling, much better than a noose around your neck or pills fucking up your innards. Ive been there. Im glad I didnt die when I thought I was going to. You just need to make there. If the hospital needs to shoot you full of drugs to get yourself to that point than so be it. ', 'Yeah this is a really gray area in my opinion. Ive been suicidal before, and the only one who knew was my girlfriend. The last thing I wanted her to do was tell someone. I didnt want help, just an end. But if he is going to try something, he does need to be stopped. You might have to tell someone. And, being honest here, he might get pissed. You might break up. But you will have saved his life. ', 'So youre saying youve hit rock bottom?', 'Right back at you. Care to talk?', 'Try to get her to another nearby institution. Or just a one on one doctor or therapist session. That may help. As for the kids, depending on how old they are (Im assuming pretty young) tell them the truth. Sorry I cant be of much more help. ', 'Im talking to her and a mutual friend. Mutual friend says she used to cut almost every night. Shes not the first person Ive spent all night talking to. Its just more difficult because I hardly know her. Ugh just worried shitless, I hate seeing people Hyperactive behavior this. Trying to get an address or something. Says her dad would skin me alive if I came over. I should probably include Im a guy. Shit I need to know what to do.', 'I do appreciate the help. Shes going to be alright. She told me she was going to bed and that I could check her arms tomorrow if Id Hyperactive behavior in case I dont trust her. I do. I let her know she has someone she can talk to whenever she needs something. Shes safe, and I feel better knowing that.Hopefully youll stick around this sub, even if its just once in awhile. ', 'Yeah it is. Damn near impossible. It took me a year and a half before I finally talked to them. Like I said, visit a club. Make small talk about whatever club it is and before you know it youll be cracking jokes together.  ', 'Hey man. I know that feel. You have to find something to live for. Im not sure what that would be for you. It could be anything. It sounds dumb, but set yourself a goal. Give yourself something to do. Chase a girl. Beat a video game. Whatever it is, it gives your life a point, even if its only for a while. After you finish that pick up something else. Hang in there. Take it one week at a time. Hand in there. Drop me a PM if you need to talk. ', 'Shit happens in the world. Its a great thing nature is resilient. Its been bad in the past and it will be bad in the future. Eventually, yeah, the sun will stop burning. Luckily you dont have to Anxiety about that too much. Do your part and hope others do theirs. Thats all you can really do. Taking your life wont help the situation, especially with a family. Think of how much they would miss you. Hang in there. Drop me a pm if you need to talk. ', 'Your sinking in, man. Hope is a terrible thing to lose. If youve lost it completely, there isnt a thing I could say that would make you change your mind. I hope to hell you havent given up hope yet. I havent given up hope in you yet. ', 'Take five. Sit down on your comfiest chair. Relax a bit. Focus on breathing, get a grip. Clear your mind. From this point, think about your life. Look at the past, think about what went wrong. Dont let yourself get Anger or panicky. Just keep your breaths the same. Be analytical, Hyperactive behavior its someone elses life your seeing. Look at the cause and effects of any problems. Find out whats wrong and find a way to solve it. ', 'First off, not killing yourself would be a major help. No matter how much of a burden you think you are, nothing would be worse than your Suicide. The love and care about you. Meds might not be the best route, have you tried therapy?', 'No problem. Feel free to make a post or PM me if you ever need to talk. Thats what were here for. ', 'Yeah, that was my line. Its bad. A Depressed mood situation no one should have to be in. Until real help starts coming in, not just therapy that isnt helping, it will continue to get worse. Now why live? Why should we care when we die? It wont matter in the end, were going to the same place. This is going to sound cheesy as fuck, but hear me out. Its the journey. You can say life has dragged you through the shit field enough and kill yourself. Or you can stand up, dust yourself off and get some help. Hopefully get your act together enough to enjoy life on a day to day basis. Maybe enjoy 80 years of happy life before entering the darkness. ', 'Hello   Its always hard to please. Mind telling us whats going on?', 'Its more normal than constant suicidal tendencies. ', 'Have you sought out therapy? Sounds Hyperactive behavior you could very well have Bipolar Disorder disorder. ', 'Id Hyperactive behavior to back up the other commenter. Take five. Just chill out, clear your mind and sit for a few minutes. When I was struggling with everything I found I was in a state of Panic Attacks nearly all the time. Clearing my mind calmed me down immensely. Making lists is a great idea. Putting thoughts on paper can make everything seem a bit more manageable.  Everything will be alright, man. Just hang in there. ', 'It would Depressed mood the hell out of your loved ones. My friends dad died in a house fire a few years back. He now drinks heavily. The rest of his family is slowly getting worse. You would be missed, and thats an understatement. ']",Indicator
user-459,"['I had similar thoughts , and when i was young and i actually did some bad stuff to some people . The thing that got me trough was my endless imagination , one day i actually started to think the opposite instead of Depressed mood people i felt the need to help people .So just to satisfy my curiosity i actually ended up doing it . Just Hyperactive behavior you i was pretty popular in school and i had a pretty big influence on other kids so i started standing up for all the bullied kids , and by the end of the year everyone called me Big Brother. So if you want some guidance try to imagine yourself doing some pretty awesome stuff , let your imagination run wild . For example there was a really nerdy kid in my school and he was always picked on , so one day out of my desire to help and Shock the entire class i started to build a ""fort"" from books chairs and anything available around me so i could protect him better , and i would become all defensive if anyone touched it . I know sounds Abnormal behavior and it probably is but it made me feel good .   Making people feel awesome > killing yourself or Depressed mood someone else >fantasize about killing raping or dismembering others That is actually normal as a young Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult most of us feel the urge to explore and understand violence but you will soon feel the need to explore and understand suffering from the victims point of view . Its a part of growing up . As soon as you understand suffering as a victim your fantasies will cease . Also why kill yourself when you can become the most awesome guy in school ? God dammit i miss my Drug abuse school days . ']",Ideation
user-460,"['Its not a dick question.  Im having trouble understanding why myself.  Back in October/early November, I think it was the girlfriend that he didnt mention until theyd been dating for several weeks (I think).  Now theyve broken up, apparently recently, and nows the first time Ive brought it up since things were looking better in a relationship.  I actually mentioned it right after the exchange I posted here, and he went offline fairly soon after.  I totally agree with you.  He should cut ties there and do something about it.  Hes had significant problems with his family, hes just starting a new job that he hates already, and hes just broken up with the girlfriend.  Its just a matter of trying to get him motivated enough to actually do it.  I go home next week, though that will still put us 250 miles apart.  Well see what happens while Im home.', 'A good friend.', 'I dont really know.  We live quite far apart currently, so I dont really know who he talks to.  I think he mentioned it to another female friend who didnt want to hear about it.  I know he told his girlfriend (who just became his ex) in early November as a heads up I think.  Wanted her to join him on a cruise that he wanted to go on and kill himself after it was finished.  Cruise has not happened yet.', 'This is what Ive been trying to do so far.  Thanks.  Im glad to hear that this is what I should be doing.', 'Back in October I was really worried he wouldnt make it through November.  He had been pretty set on blowing all his money on a cruise followed by a hotel room where hed off himself.  Things have been pretty shit for him recently.Ive tried the usual stuff that I can do.  Words about how much I care what happens to him.  Pushed towards him calling one of the hotlines.  I think he might be on the site already, actually.  Maybe hell see the post.  Part of the difficulty is that hes about 1000 miles away.  Ive been trying to get him to move out of the area where Depressed mood things have happened recently, but hes been hesitant to do so.']",Supportive
user-461,"['Ive been where you are, and I know it doesnt  help right now but things will get better. I was a very unhappy teenager. Now Im 24 and I couldnt be happier with life.Just keep chugging on my man.', 'So you would give an 80 pound dog 40 of the 2mg pills?', 'Make daily goals for yourself, and also set some more long term goals. The daily goals will help you get through the tough days, and the more long term goals will give you something to look forward to.Im very glad you mentioned you feel optimistic about your recovery. Life has a great many things to offer. I for one and glad you are still here :-)', 'How old are you? The reason I ask is because generally teenagers are dickheads to the nicest people, so I have a suspicion that is the problem. Trust me, in a couple of years life will be much better.And I can guarantee you that this community wont turn their backs on you. We are here to support you.You arent a sociopath, and there is nothing wrong with you. People just have a habit of being asshats to those who least deserve it.', 'Ah, apparently Im pretty ignorant on the subject and for that I apologize. The way you handled that just further cemented my respect for you.', 'Trust me, I was miserable. Tried oding several times, somehow never died. And I love every day of my life now. The biggest thing for me was getting on a workout routine. It releases endorphins so you will feel happy and accomplished, and you will start becoming a better and healthier you.Dont Increased Sweating the small stuff. At 15 my biggest worries were girls and my next test, and neither of those really mattered in the long run. Its important to have fun, but dont Stress about making everything perfect.And I didnt appreciate my parents. We didnt get along when I was a teenager, but if I had died it would have destroyed them. They would have no purpose to living. It may not seem Hyperactive behavior it right now, but I would be willing to bet that your parents care about you very much. If things have been going rough lately, just have a sit down chat with them and tell them whats on your mind. And act Hyperactive behavior an adult. My biggest thing is I would lose control and act Hyperactive behavior a fool when I was younger.Give those ideas a shot. And make yourself goals. Nothing too intense, just rather simple goals that would make you really happy to accomplish but that you wont Stress about.And if things get rough, drop me a message. I dick with people a lot on here, but I dont mind talking to people having a rough time.', 'Just let her know that you care about her as a person, which Im sure you already do. Maybe try planning activities for yall to do, things that will help her see that there are great things in this world. Give her things to look forward to. It takes a special kind of person to be such a dedicated friend. Im proud of you.', 'Please dont do that to your wife. If she really does love you, it would destroy her if you kill yourself. She would feel Hyperactive behavior she failed you, and maybe take her own life as well.You mentioned that you are Diabetic and ""already dead"". Why not stick around and do everything you can to make those who care about you as happy as you can?', 'If you ever decide you need to talk to someone Ill be here too.', 'Because brains are scumbags. Is there a specific tv show or movie you enjoyed as a child? Whenever I was younger and would feel down I would watch something that I loved as a kid and it usually comforted me.', 'Youre right that I dont know you, but I do care. Sometimes life just sucks man. Ive been there. Alone, depressed, questioning my worth. And Ive tried killing myself several time in the past by OD. Obviously it never worked, and Im so glad it didnt. I used to hate life. Didnt think I would ever find the girl for me and I didnt think I would ever amount to anything. But now I couldnt be happier. I know it doesnt help you now, but things do get better.Maybe make lists of goals for yourself. A daily goal, and then more long term goals. Try exercising more. A good workout with do wonders for the soul. And Ive been suggesting church a lot to people on here, which Im sure annoys the hell out of people. But the reason I recommend it is for the community. Most churches consist of people who genuinely care about others. You might make some new friends that way. Maybe even the girl of your dreams.Just dont give up man. Keep your head up, and accomplish the goals you set for yourself.', 'You said you are moving in with your mother. Do you have a good relationship with her? If you do, spend time with her. She loves you more than anything on this earth. You are her everything. If you dont, try and work on yalls relationship. Go to the movies together sometime. I she travels for work, maybe see if you can travel with her some.Just dont give up. There is so much that life has to offer. As someone else mentioned, maybe you can get involved in some sort of charity. Doing something with no tangible reward may do wonders for your soul.And if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me and I will do whatever I can to help.', 'You arent being a whiny bitch. You are going through a hard time in life and have every right to want to talk about it.', 'You have us. I know it isnt as wonderful as having people you can go out and actually do things with but we will do whatever we can to get you through this.Breakups hurt, especially when that person doesnt seem to care about you at all. But as someone else said, the Ache does go away. It hurts, and you may have to physically hold yourself together at night but just know that it gets better. If you arent opposed to church, give it a try. Many churches have people who genuinely care about others and maybe you can find some new friends that way. If you have a good relationship with your parents, then please talk to them about it. You dont have to tell them you are thinking about ending it, but tell them you are Depressed mood very badly. Im sure they will do anything in their control to see their child happy. They love you.', 'Oh I wasnt mentioning church in the hope that you would find Jesus. Im not atheist but Im not really religious either. I just thought it might help being around other people.', 'I can promise you that humanity is not all Hyperactive behavior that. It makes me Nausea that people you count on would be so hateful. And there is nothing wrong with taking Anxiety Mental Depression medicine, especially with all the Stress Im sure you deal with on a daily basis.You will get through this, you will beat cancers ass, and be my personal fucking hero. Im not exaggerating. I expect you to keep me updated on a daily basis. Together we are going to get you through this.', 'Im counting on it. We will get you through this.', 'Do you work out at all? Because that helped me tremendously. Anytime I was Anger I would go to the gym and beat the shit out of the punching bag, run myself to exhaustion, and lift weights until I couldnt lift anymore. It will release happy chemicals, you will Hypersomnia better, you will feel better, and get in better shape. I would really recommend giving it a try. ', 'I know exactly what you mean. The best thing to do is just take life one day at a time. Wake up every morning and ask yourself what YOU want to do. Make a list of goals that you want to accomplish. They dont have to be anything major, they can be something small and silly. As long as it is something that will bring you happiness then it matters.Once you move, try and find something that will let you spend time with others. Give a church a try. There are usually groups that get together and hang out, and you could get to meet new people and also get free food while you are at it. Be selfish, go with the hope of meeting someone who you can develop a friendship with and maybe let you Drug withdrawal syndrome with them for awhile. ', 'I would care. That is a promise. I want you to be happy and live a long and full life. Im not the most qualified person in this sub, but anytime you want to talk feel free to message me.', 'Ah, well for that Im sorry. The rest of the ideas might help though. Ive been in your situation before. Alone, jobless, didnt think I would amount to anything. Its rough, and life can be cruel. But I have faith in you. You can do this.', 'You said you feel bad for staying with your boyfriend. You shouldnt. Im sure he loves every second he spends with you. I know you are struggling with things, but just keep in mind that he definitely cares about you.You arent worthless. Nobody is worthless. Its all about finding your calling. You could always spend your bad nights on this sub talking to others and giving them encouragement. Maybe it would give you a feeling of peace and satisfaction.', 'Im not as cool as a dog, but Ill always be here if you need to talk or vent. You have definitely been dealt a Depressed mood hand. The fact that you have made it this far is a testament to your character. Also that you are so protective of your family even at your own experience. I really admire that.If you are in school, they may offer an on site counselor that you could talk to free of charge. Its worth a shot.One day you will look back at this struggle and just shake your head and marvel at your strength. You will have a family, and getting experience a love you never would have imagined possible.I have faith in you, and Hyperactive behavior I said anytime you need someone to talk to Im here.', 'Ah, youre right. They are 25mg lol.That makes a lot more sense.', 'You definitely exist :-)That or Im in the Matrix.But seriously, if you ever need someone to talk to Im here.', 'If you Ventricular Dysfunction, Left this world feeling so hopeless humanity would lose quite a bit. We have all been there, felt Hyperactive behavior there was no point to things. One of the best suggestions was what another person made, making daily goals. And if you have the time, try exercising a little bit. It can work wonders for Mental Depression.We are all here for you man.', 'I have ADD, and honestly I dont even think about it. I was medicated from Hyperactive behavior 2nd grade up until I just refused to take my medicine my senior year. It can make school harder, but its not impossible. I certainly wouldnt look at it as a deficiency that you have. One thing you may want to look into is manual labor. I have a physical job, and I absolutely love it. There is just a good feeling you get when you work with your hands all day, I would highly recommend giving it a shot.Which leads me to telling you not to Stress about college. Its not an absolute requirement to live a happy life. Maybe you could check out a trade school if you want to get more training for life. I dont know what is available in your area, but you might want to give it a shot.Ive been where you are, and I know it feels Hyperactive behavior shit. You just have to take it a day at a time, and try and find things that give you a sense of fulfillment. Maybe try putting time in at a local charity. Or lurk on this sub and talk to others who are struggling. You can encourage each other, and just maybe it will help you feel better about life.Oh, and get out and go for a run/walk. Its amazing what a little fresh air and exercise can do for a person.', 'Teenagers just dont know how to handle it. Ive been on both sides. I was the one who would post suicidal away messages on AOL instant messenger back in the dinosaur ages, and nobody would think anything of it. And I would see it happen and assume they werent seriously that upset. Its a real problem.And that is normal for some people to process emotions or people Hyperactive behavior data. It doesnt make you a sociopath. You just think differently. But I can promise you things get massively better. People will grow up and be more reliable and understanding. Its just a Depressed mood age that you are in right now. Id recommend just working out anytime you are feeling really down. Just throw on some headphones, jam out to your favorite music, and proceed to do whatever exercise you enjoy most (or hate the least).', 'I absolutely understand that, people can be real dickbags. Im not a very knowledgeable person when it comes to talking to people about things, but if you ever need someone to talk to please feel free to give me a pm. I may not have the best advice, but Im always willing to listen (or read).', 'There is nothing wrong with feeling Hyperactive behavior you do. Humans are programmed to want companionship, and wanting more out of someone you care about is normal. Life can really suck sometimes, but I have faith that you are going to get through this. And this sub wont let you down. Anytime you are feeling down you are welcome to post here.']",Attempt
user-462,"['I know the feeling of not wanting to be a burden to your friends.  I had a rough night myself last night where all I did was talk about hard my life is, none of them can relate as none of them have been on the edge.  None of them know that them trying to tell me what I can look forward too is just an Depersonalization pit of darkness.  I cant say anything to make you feel better, I cant tell you its going to be alright.  I can hope for you and me that it will turn out in the end but I dont know.  The only thing I can really say is that you are not alone.  Right now I feel Hyperactive behavior the only salvation is a head on Drug withdrawal syndrome with a freight train, but for whatever reason, I cannot bring myself to that conclusion.  Youve been struggling with this for 20 years, that feeling of hopelessness hasnt beaten you yet as you have pushed through 20 years of misery.   You could take that as a good sign that you have in your heart this hope for things to get better and everything is not lost.  Take away two things from this, 1st you are not alone.  Second you have strived this far in your life and have survived where so many have quit, wear this Hyperactive behavior a badge knowing that you still are here.   ', 'You arent alone man, I feel the same way about everything.  That I somehow deserve this Depressed mood feeling that I have.  In the end I make myself more Depressed mood than the actual event.  In the end shes not Depressed mood you as much as you are Depressed mood you.  Yes your heart is broken now, the only thing that is going to heal that is time.  It wont be easy, but you are not alone.  Clear your head, stop thinking about this.  Everyone enjoys something in this world, find it and just do it until you forget what you were so upset about.  If you really are in that much debt there are ways of getting out of it, contact finacial aid services that everyone university has, explain your situation and determine your options.  They will help you because you are not alone.  You dont have to do this all alone, you can find help.  Let the anger, that sadness just leave you.  Dont let it consume and destroy you.  Let someone help you, because you are not alone.  Let others help you discover who you really are, because right now this is not it.  This is Anxiety Mental Depression taking over, you have to be the one to tell it no, but you dont have to do it all alone, others can help you get to that point.  Be a survivor not a nameless victim.', 'I can sit here and tell you what you should do, but you said it yourself you are the only one holding you back.  You are 18 now, you are in charge of your life, and you will never be alone.  Millions of people around the world feel this hopeless feeling just Hyperactive behavior you, I know I am one of them.  Its not going to be easy but you can do anything you put your mind too.  If anything escaping the world you have grown up in should be a blessing, not something to fear.  Dont let it destroy and totally take over your life.  You have so much time on this planet remaining, make good use of it, make a use of it for you.  ', 'You just got a breathe, slow down.  Your girl left, but your heart is still beating.  Time is the only thing that can heal this.  You got a promotion! your company values you, the work load may be hard but they believe in you this shows that your skills have been noticed, they wouldnt have given you this job had they thought you couldnt do it.  Dont let them down.  We cant choose family, but we dont have to let that family run our lives.  If they dont Hyperactive behavior something you did or dont notice you.  Then why have them in your life?  make a choice thats best for you.  This medical condition isnt your fault, its a sickness.  Sicknesses either pass in time or you learn to live with them.  Quitting because you look bad isnt honorable, do something to change it.  Make something else stand out more than what you think looks bad.  You should hold on because this is the life we get.  Make the most of this.  ', 'I wish I could have done the things you have done man, all my life I have wanted to join the army because I too have a death wish.  You arent alone man.  The feeling of ""whats the point?""  runs through my mind daily, as I sink deeper into a pit of despair.  So maybe I am not the one to offer advice but maybe just maybe you gotta find something you believe in.  Ask yourself the question of what you really want in life, is it a nice job? a family? a nice house? whatever it may be, you gotta get yourself a goal to achieve.  Dont be Hyperactive behavior me and just live day to day because then you have nothing to look forward to.  Find something and go and get it.', 'You arent alone man, I know how hard it is to be apart of a culture where sex seems to be the only thing that matters.  I feel Hyperactive behavior since I have not had it that I am failing at life.  But then I look at the people who have had a lot of it, look at what they are and I ask myself ""what makes them so much better than me?""  is it female attraction?  could be but is that man single... yes.  Does that man have a lot of sex? yes.  Is he happy? no.  I had a roommate in college who used to have sex a lot, must have had 13 partners in the span of a couple months.  This guy ended up sleeping with a girl I liked and ended up stabbing me in the back by lying about it.  Thats the kind of person he is, I know that I am better than him because I would never do that, yet he did.  Is that the kind of person I am? no, so maybe its better that I am who I am because I know that when I do find that someone, and trust me even I know I will despite the fact that I tell myself I am going to be alone forever, I will be the best possible person for that woman because of what I have gone through, what I have learned about myself.  You may be desperate, but desperation has only one direction as far as Im concerned, and that direction is up.  If you are low enough to be desperate than you cant fall any further, just tell yourself that you arent going to be down in that desperation zone forever.  But it doesnt happen over night, you cant expect good things Hyperactive behavior that because if its worth having, it doesnt come to you without a fight.  Put up that fight, make it one for the ages, and show yourself that you are better than you thought you were.']",Ideation
user-463,"['Thank you very much for the picture. I printed it out the second I saw it.  You put a big smile on my face. Thank you again.p.s.-damn you drew that?', 'My girlfriend of 7 years recently broke up with me. We also have a 2 year old son. So, I went to Mexico for a family reunion deal (she was offered a free trip and declined). Went there the day after valentines day. I thought we would spend some time together before I left. Boy was I wrong. Instead I went to a bar with my buddy and we each got a pitcher of blue moon and drowned our sorrows. My entire time in Mexico I missed her and my son to the point of craziness. I was more than excited to come home.Anyway, I have her pick me up from the airport when I get back. I havent spoken to her in almost a week (no cell service) and I lit up when I saw that she brought our son. I was on top of the world for those few minutes. I get into her car and see a little flower sitting in a coke can in her cup holder. Im Hyperactive behavior ""what the ef?"" and I ask her if she needs to tell me something. While I was gone, she got a new boyfriend. Now, we have been having a rough spot for the last couple weeks and had no idea it was this bad. Normally we talk to each other about it. Nope. Needless to say, I was destroyed mentally and physically. Its been about a week and a half and I still cant get over it. Especially since we have a kid and have to have contact with one another.Im bi-polar and schizo-affective, so my mind is obviously going beserk. Ive had problems with suicidal thoughts in the past but now its worse than ever. I Irritable Mood, I cant even talk to her about it. Shes been the Seizures, Focal point in my life for 7 years and now I have to cut it out? Ive been thinking about letting this all out for a while. Its scary because I know that if we didnt have our son, I would probably be dead by now. Which sucks, because I rule. Its a constant struggle within myself. My happy go-lucky personality is being bombarded by bad bad thoughts.Its Hyperactive behavior this...normally Im Hyperactive behavior the Night Owl. But now, I feel more Hyperactive behavior The Comedian. Not giving a shit and wanting everyone to pay (odd reference ahah). +1 to Moore for that masterpiece, I just finished reading it and it really made me feel better for some reason. I also stared at this picture for about 10 minutes yesterday and almost started bawling http://img.phombo.com/img1/photocombo/131/cache/el_pez_by_allanced_display.jpgThanks for listening guys.', 'I know how you feel man. My ex and I were together for 7 years, have a 2 1/2 yo son and she was also my best friend. I too dont have many (if any) real friends to rely on.  She became my world and I always thought wed be together forever and be a family. She started seeing someone else when I was in Mexico for a family reunion in February and it tore me up.I did the same self-medicating: weed, Attention Deficit Disorder meds, my vicodin. It helped make me happy and it was all I needed. I know exactly how you feel man. The oxy is scary stuff. If you are gonna take it, break it up into pieces (especially if its an 80). 20mg of oxy is 4 percoset 5mg.  Be careful man, were all here for ya if you need people to talk to.', 'Try 7 years and a kid bub. It sucks when things Hyperactive behavior pop up unexpected. It feels Hyperactive behavior your heart is being torn out and stomped on. Relish in the glory of Reddit and let it free your mind. Ive found that there are a lot of genuinely caring folks here who have more than enough time to help one another out. Greatest community ever.', 'now youre putting the pussy on a pedestal haha. youre right though for the most part.', 'Thats good to know. Im only familiar with vicodin and percocet. Ive done oxy 3 times and it was not fun. ', 'I think one of the hardest things about this is feeling alone.  I just want to be able to hear that someone loves me (not just family).  Especially with my bi-polar and schizo-ness I dwell on things Hyperactive behavior that and get really really depressed.  I just hate the thought of being alone; even though I have my son and family, not having her to talk to at night kills me. And having to forget all of those happy memories is something I dont want to do but Ill end up having to if I want to move on.  Right now is the hardest part of my life...yet.', 'Dont use that book as your basis of your understanding of us guys.  Most of the time guys that Hyperactive behavior want you to come up to them and take charge. It may sound weird but its the truth. Try asking him out to do something just the two of you and see what happens.', 'Thank you.  I actually am not on any medication.  I was on Zyprexa and then Seroquel for quite a while but stopped taking the anti-psychotics about a year ago.  Funny how both of those drugs are off the market now for fucking people up.  But it worked for me.Anyway, Ive been thinking about seeing my shrink for a while.  Maybe get back on the anti-depressants or something.  Thank you though for the thoughtful post.  It actually means a lot to me since I dont have many friends.', 'My girlfriend of 7 years recently broke up with me.  We also have a 2 year old son.  So, I went to Mexico for a family reunion deal (she was offered a free trip and declined).  Went there the day after valentines day.  I thought we would spend some time together before I left.  Boy was I wrong. Instead I went to a bar with my best friend and we each got a pitcher of blue moon and drowned our sorrows. My entire time in Mexico I missed her and my son to the point of craziness.  I was more than excited to come home.  Anyway, I have her pick me up from the airport when I get back. I havent spoken to her in almost a week (no cell service) and I lit up when I saw that she brought our son.  I was on top of the world for those few minutes.  I get into her car and see a little flower sitting in a coke can in her cup holder.  Im Hyperactive behavior ""what the ef?"" and I ask her if she needs to tell me something.  While I was gone, she got a new boyfriend.  Now, we have been having a rough spot for the last couple weeks and had no idea it was this bad. Normally we talk to each other about it. Nope.  Needless to say, I was destroyed mentally and physically.  Its been about a week and a half and I still cant get over it.  Especially since we have a kid and have to have contact with one another.  Im bi-polar and schizo-affective, so my mind is obviously going beserk.  Ive had problems with suicidal thoughts in the past but now its worse than ever.  I Irritable Mood, I cant even talk to her about it.  Shes been the Seizures, Focal point in my life for 7 years and now I have to cut it out?I didnt Irritable Mood to hi-jack this thread or anything. Ive been thinking about letting this all out for a while and ""kousi"" I owe you one.  Its scary because I know that if we didnt have our son, I would probably be dead by now.  Which sucks, because I rule. Its a constant struggle within myself.  My happy go-lucky personality is being bombarded by bad bad thoughts.  Its Hyperactive behavior this...normally Im Hyperactive behavior the Night Owl.  But now, I feel more Hyperactive behavior The Comedian.  Not giving a shit and wanting everyone to pay.  +1 to Moore for that masterpiece, I just finished reading it and it really made me feel better for some reason.  I also stared at this picture for about 10 minutes yesterday and almost started bawling http://img.phombo.com/img1/photocombo/131/cache/el_pez_by_allanced_display.jpgThanks for listening guys.']",Ideation
user-464,"['Xbox! Add l Lykke Li l . The l are lower cased Ls.', 'Im a little Social fear about going to the ER which would lead to the mental ward. :/', 'Thats pretty neat. I live in Northville. But thats in the Lake Erie area and youre in the Lake Michigan area (I think. )', 'I love Lana Del Rey! I do too. I usually do it to songs to kinda feel what I feel. Like Green Eyes by Wavves. The line that gets me is ""my friends hate me ahh so what? Who gives a fuck?"" It relates but I give a fuck. ', 'Thank you much. Ill message you when I really need to talk. My therapist (who is also a psychologist, if that helps.) said that it really isnt an issue with her because I hit my period at 8 or 9 yrs old. Crazy, haha. And idk if I would really call myself a 13 yr old. Im going to be 14 in 2 days hah', 'Im so sorry, 8srs9. Truly am. Is it okay with if I pray for you for God/Jesus to reveal himself to you and give you answers?', 'Im seeing a therapist. I see her twice a month. Ill talk to her about it when I see her', 'Following. (:', '14.', 'I have a hard time opening up as well. Because its hard to explain to others what you did and how it effects you if you cant even clearly explain it to yourself. Its also hard to tell people because you have no idea how theyll react to it and its hard because they dont really have an understanding of it.', 'Thank you! :)', 'Hahaha I love 7. My mom has a sun lamp so that can help. Thanks for the tips :)', 'Thanks. Sorry for you too. We can be ""What did I just do?"" buddies. :)', 'It depends for me. Sometimes itll really just come out of nowhere in full throttle. But sometimes I can notice within the first 1-3 days. I begin to become more impulsive, very happy but easily angered, I lose an appetite for food (not sure if everyone has this symptom tbh) and I lose a need for Hypersomnia.', 'Hmm... It says ""no users found"". Maybe follow me order and then I follow you?', 'Ugh :( Im sorry :(', 'Forgot to say excersising and having sex/masturbating gives endorphins as well.', 'Thats awesome. But the weather has been stupid here :(', 'What keeps me alive is probably a YouTube video Fatal 911 Suicide call by suicideafter. It makes me realize that my family, friends and people I dont know who care about me care about me.', 'Ill say my most recent one. Which was last Wednesday. I think my mom and I were Manic at the same time (yes were both Bipolar Disorder.) We were at White House Black Market (designer clothing store if some dont know) and we were shopping and we spent $1,200 in one shopping day. I can tell it was Manic (but not as erotic as other posts. Im only 14 [birthday was yesterday] so I cant really go out and buy coke and drive to Detroit. [i live 20 mins away from Detroit.] and have sex with girls because not many k ow Im lesbian.) because we hate spending money. The most we go is $300 per spending day. But we went a little more than $300 that day.', 'Sorry that you feel it, too. It sucks. So. Much.', 'Its pretty cool to know im not the only one feeling this. Aaahh ""Im sorry"" ""I didnt Irritable Mood to"" is story of my life. And that sucks, EFF0. I Irritable Mood, the song probably sounds really rad.. But not in that situation. Those moments can be embarrassing. And it is good to hear meds help. I only started Seroquel XR 2 weeks ago. But today I am also adding regular Seroquel and Lamictal to the mix. Hopefully, I can contain myself when they kick in.', 'I love your lip ring !', 'If you need someone to talk to you can message me. Even though I got diagnosed less than 10 hrs ago ill try my best to help. Also, did you just OD or are you talking about a while back ?', 'Oh jeez, thats pretty bad. Are you able to contact your therapist (if you have one) or p-doc? If you are able to you should really contact them and explain what is going on and see if you can tweek meds or get step by step help from your therapist.', 'Although I dont really know much about insurance, I think you should try Aetna. My parents use it and they cover people with pre-existing conditions (90% sure) . ', 'I got a kik! Add squidwardisababe', 'Bonnie & Clyde by Freedom Fry', 'Thanks! Theyre really supportive so I think theyll forget as well.', 'When I saw this, this genuinely made me cry. Dealing with this is a very hard thing to do if you have it or your friend has it. I think you should tell her about this video and how you saw it. Tell her you are going to be there for her. Ask her ""how are you?"" Every once in a while. All you really need to do is let her vent to you. Hug her. Tell her how much you care about her, her family cares about her, her boyfriend, her friends, the public. Try to answer every single txt or call or whatever she sends to you because you do not know when she is on the verge of tipping or not. (Trust me, one time I didnt reply to a friends txt and she ended up going to the er and being admitted to a mental ward for trying to kill herself.) and whenever she says she has cut, dont get Anger but say you love her so much and you will do anything to help her stop. Trust me, cutting makes you do a heck lot of bad stuff. It caused me to have a slight alcohol dependency at the age of 13.  Whatever you do, dont stop loving her.', 'This made me laugh because for school I had to read Old Man and the Sea by Ernst Hemingway to make connections for religion and I had a 1 hr rant on how I didnt Hyperactive behavior how the Old Man took so many days to get the fish and then have the fish mauled by a shark. Ha. ', 'Thank you for the hug. I apologized last night, but she gave no reply. But I know she read it. Its going to be awkward on Thursday because thats when I am going to see her. (For church because our little youth group is on Thursdays) Ill try my best to have a nice day. My mom let me Hypersomnia in until 9 am. Although she doesnt know whats going on, she just gave me it. Lucky me. Thank you for the advice.', 'I cut when Im in the shower. Which is at 10 pm. I cut in the shower because no one is going to walk in on you. I shower for about 5-10 (taught myself how to powershower) minutes and then I spend 20-30 minutes cutting. I cut when I sit on the toilet (lid is up. Not actually going to the bathroom) and once Im done with the shower part I turn off the shower and continue cutting for 5 minutes. Then I get dressed and I usually wear a sweater. Because they hide my cuts and theyre comfy to Hypersomnia in. And then before I leave I wait a minute and then flush my bloody tissue paper down to toilet to make it look Hyperactive behavior I went to the bathroom. And then I go to bed. ', 'Thank you! And will do. ', 'Im only 14 and I have Bipolar Disorder type 2. I take 200 mg of lamictal and 300 seroquel xr . I get really low lows where I self harm badly for two weeks and then next day Im suddenly okay. It gets me really Confusion because I have no idea why Im suddenly better and I dont have a reason why. I can think constantly about Suicide and Ill gain weight, stop doing homework, and spend my days in my bed. But when I get into hypomania, I get a bad case of hypersexuality. I already have a Drug abuse libido so it doesnt really help. I can get really productive. I brought candy for each person in my grade (but only 25 people in my grade so it doesnt really matter) and gave them a note of complements for them. It was nice. I get really creative so I make really good stories and they can be very long. I read constantly, I learn how to make new recipes, I play instruments 24/7. Although it sounds fun, I get Anger very easily. I broke my turn table, sims games, pillows, tv, itouch, walls, gym bags, books, and the shower drapes. I also took a golf club and made holes in the wall with it. I locked myself in the bathroom for the day. And I dont Hypersomnia for 1 or 2 days. I also broke the dryer machine. I have also gotten suspended. I have also hallucinated that there were alien space ships outside my room. I have also had Delusions that I was the antichrist. Ask your parents to go to a doctor before you try to diagnose yourself.', 'Im on meds, I see a therapist and pdoc. Its nice to know you know what it is Hyperactive behavior. Im new to meds (diagnosed with bpII 2 weeks ago) and Im still adjjusting. Ill try running. It seems good. Yeah I know a lot wont understand, sucks. Hopefully she will come around, but I understand if she wont. Really really sad, but I understand.', 'Snows great, but seriously, its spring break.', 'Thanks ! ', 'Hey again. Did you recently take the 38 pills or was that a while back ? If it was recently please go to an urgent care or er. Because I think you need your stomach pumped. I dont want you to OD. Also if you are contemplating Suicide please call 1-800-SUICIDE. Kinda generic but they can really help. You can message me, too. (Even though I just diagnosed less than 10 hrs ago ill try my best to help. As also Im 14, 14 yr olds are kinda dumb) You can go onto compassionpit.com for help as well. Go onto r/suicidewatch. ', 'Im afraid to check into one because I dont want to be there for more than one week. Im afraid of what people at school or other places will ask me and I have no idea what to say if its more than 1 week. It would be so much easier to go after I get into summer break. Which is June 5th', 'Thank you very much! That really really helped.', 'Hey. Im sorry youre feeling this way. I have a lot of these unknown moments as well. Please dont do this. I care about you too much to let this go unnoticed. So, in my little attemp to help you out of this I want you to do at least one of these things; Go onto compassionpit.com it is a great way to anonymously vent and have others help you. Go draw, dance, sing (even if you have a bad voice. Its quite fun either way.) , read, listen to music, or talk to someone close. These are all ways that give your brain endorphins without having a consequence. Feel better and know that i care about you.']",Behavior
user-465,"['Absolutely.', 'Do you have any younger siblings?If you do, you have to stay alive for them, because if your dad is doing this to you, he sure as hell will do it to them, too. They need you to be doing whatever you can (i.e. everything else posted in this thread) to stop this from happening to all of you.If you dont, thats by no means a license to kill yourself. Keep pressing all the avenues posted here. Document everything to the best of your ability in writing and if possible with visuals (Im sure I dont need to tell you to take care such documentation doesnt fall into the wrong hands) and go to the police and CPS with it. If theres a teacher or friend you trust with this, they can be an extremely valuable resource to you and can help you get out of this situation and to a safe place. (Im assuming youre from the US, since youre learning to drive at 16) Your Drug abuse school guidance counselor is most likely required to find help for you if they believe that there is a threat to your wellbeing at home. You dont want to end your life over this. There are much, much better ways out than Suicide, and if you keep looking, you will find one eventually.', 'OP probably lives in the US, where most people learn to drive in their mid-teens. OP mentioned ""three more years"" which leads me to believe they are 15 years old.', 'Listen, you dont seem Hyperactive behavior you really want to do this. You keep saying that youre happy and content and that this just seems Hyperactive behavior what to do and that its the ""path you have chosen,"" but the fact of the matter is, this is a very permanent solution to very temporary problems, and while I certainly am not saying you dont have problems, it just doesnt seem Hyperactive behavior youre committed to Suicide for any substantive reason other than ""because its there."" Correct me if Im wrong, but you seem to be closer to not wanting to live than wanting to die.All of the reasons youve listen for wanting to commit Suicide can be resolved somehow (with the possible exception of your eye condition, but I dont believe that to be a hopeless cause). You can work on the problems youre having with drugs and Hypersomnia and your parents, and trust me, one day something will come along that will improve your outlook on the future. Do you want to know what happened to me? For a long time I felt really directionless and lost. I was happy, or at least content most of the time, but I had no passion for anything. I had no drive, nor any idea of what I wanted my future to look Hyperactive behavior. For a while I mostly just kept going because it seemed Hyperactive behavior the thing to do. Then I found hiking. A friend convinced me to join him on a six-month backpacking trip and I fell in love. Suddenly there were mountains to climb and goals to achieve; new things to see and do and learn about. Now its something I couldnt live without and I plan to spend the rest of my life, as long as it may be, exploring the mountains and the forests, because its where I feel at home. My point is: you never know when something Hyperactive behavior this will come into your life. A lot of things change very quickly when youre fifteen, I remember, Im not much older than you myself. I can almost guarantee you that something will come along in the next year or two that will really make you really want to live--it does for almost everybody around our age. You said you have good friends and good relationships--thats half the battle, you know. Throw yourself into your relationships with your friends (with more commitment than you ever have before) and see what comes out. Build on the friendships you already have. Live for them if you have to until you find your own something to live for. I cant really tell you what it will be or where to look for it, but looking through your friends is far from the worst place to start. Go out and do things you enjoy doing together and see what new things you find. I wasnt suicidal, but its what revealed my passion to me.If you want, please send me a private message. Id be happy to talk. Ill be around a little while longer tonight, and in the morning as well.', '> When it came to projects and fund raisers, the best thing for me is to just tackle things one at a time. This is great advice. Dont let yourself get overwhelmed by a dozen things to do--push 11 out of your head until you finish the most pressing one. Rinse and repeat.In future, OP, **you have to learn to say ""no"" sometimes, and that its okay to do so.** I was in a similar situation at certain points in Drug abuse school when I felt Hyperactive behavior I was drowning in a sea of commitments, both ones that I did and did not ask for. A big part of the problem was that I over-committed myself to things. I was the first to volunteer and always wanted to do the best work I could. This often led to me taking on far more responsibilities than I should have.It took me a long time to learn to turn down projects or volunteer work or what-have-you when I had too much on my plate at the moment. My Irritable Mood was always: ""Im sure I can make it work.""Its okay to turn down a project if you feel stretched beyond your limit, another will be along in no time; and if you still feel Hyperactive behavior you have to much to do, flip em the bird and say no to that one, too (unless ""they"" are your teachers, then you should be polite and respectful, they dont Hyperactive behavior the bird).Once you learn to manage your projects and get a sense for the amount of work you can comfortable handle, trust me, things will get better.Hang in there, OP.', 'What makes you think that anyone would want to make this a public affair? If you went to someone you trusted and confided in them and asked them to help you, part of the implicit bargain (this goes for anything serious, not just Suicide) is that it remains between the two of you. Hell, you can even explicitly ask them not to speak about it to anyone else. Most people understand this type of Phobia, Social contract well and will keep it. Please speak to someone, anyone, about this. ', 'I know Im a little late to the party, but I was out all morning and only just got back to my computer. Im glad to hear your decision. Like I said in another comment. If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me. :)', 'I dont think you really want to die. If you really did, if *all of you* really did, you wouldnt have come here. Theres at least a part of you that still wants to live. That part of you brought you here, hoping to find help.Theres a reason for you to live, Im sure of it. Theres one for all of us. You may not have found it yet, but there is one out there for you. Theres someone to love; something to love doing; a way to bring meaning into your life. Keep looking for it. Please dont kill yourself. I promise theres something for you in this world. It may not be obvious or easy to see, but it is there.', 'I think youre being downvoted because people felt it was obvious that OP was not yet in Japan.', 'Those people are not your parents. Even if they birthed you and raised you, no ""true"" parent would ever tell their child to kill themselves. Dont listen to them. Theyre not worth your time and certainly not worth your life. ', 'Im not sure Im the best one to help you--there are many other more capable people here than me--but I saw that the only comment on this post besides your own is a worthless, piece of shit troll and I wanted to tell you that he knows nothing. I dont think youre trash, and I definitely dont think you should kill yourself.']",Supportive
user-466,"['I am really sorry, truly. I agree with SW. I have messed around with the same drugs before but never on a frequent basis. I have dealt with Mental Depression in the past not because of Drug craving but because of losing everyone I knew when I moved countries when I was 13 without knowing any English what so ever. Lived with my fake and unloving guardians who at one point stopped greeting me or acknowledged me when I tried to say something. The worst part was that I HAD to live with them because my dad who loved me and raised me the best he could, lost his job and spent the rest of his money to send me here even when I refused to. I was initially Anger at him for that but I didnt understand at the time. I still loved him as much and he was my role model. I guess I just didnt have enough time to truly show him and acted immature and even a little rude and selfish by complainting of how many things I didnt have and how much I hated that fact. Anyways, I wanted to call him everyday because I didnt have anyone else that made me feel better. I remember feeling bad and sorry to have made my dad feel so unloved and a burden because he couldnt provide for me. I had no mother but I never knew exactly what happened in the past. My dad said that I would find out one day when I grow up. All I knew at the time was that she was in the heavens. One day, when I asked to call him, my uncle told me that I was not allowed to call because I spent too much of his money for calls. He told me that unless I had a way to pay him back, he wouldnt let me. At that point I was completely broken and at that point, I realized how much I actually missed my dad and how much I cared even though never succeded to show him. About a month after, my dads friend called for me and that call was the absolute bottom of my existence. I had never felt so much Feeling despair and agony in my life. I collapsed when I heard that my dad had commited suicide. No further details about it were told to me for the best but the person sent me the letter he wrote before and he said that he was sorry for ruining his family and causing Ache and suffering to me. He wrote, ""Your mother would have been happy to see you all grown up and your sister would have filled your heart with her love and warmth. I cant live in the agony of hating myself every second of every day. You were the star that I looked upon for hope in these vast skies but I even failed to do that. I didnt Irritable Mood to burden you but at least I could save you from all of the horrible things you would have suffered. I love you more than anything else and I am sure your genius little brain will get you through this hard time of your life and go on to do amazing things. I supported you until I could. I hope you wont insist knowing about your mother and sister and spend that time on doing more positive and productive things. If you ever do, Please dont hate me, I wasnt myself back then. If you hold even a little bit of love and respect for your papa, then dont look in the darkness of the past instead make every effort and actions towards the brighter blissful future we always talked about. YOU WILL SUCCEDE MY SON, MY BELOVED, MY PINKU!"" I realized so many things about life that day. I read and re-read that letter 100s of times bawling my eyes out and randomly burst out crying. Eventually, I figured that if there was anything I could do to make it easier on him, it was to communicate better and expressed how I saw him in my eyes. He was the last thing feom a birden in my life but I guess Human emotion and Expression work differently and a misinterpretation of these unexplainably complicated network of neurons can cause a lot of Ache. I wish and will keep wishing for things to have gone differently or some magical force informing me about his thoughts and Mental Depression. This was a a time of misery for me and what felt Hyperactive behavior Mental Depression wasnt even a word to describe it. However, My dad did what he thought was best for me to have this life in America and it was his parting gift for me. I started going to school after a while and lived by the words of hope. It was during this time I met my current best friend. He came up to me one day and staryed singing which caught me off guard but made me smile afyer soo long and for once I was optimistic. He told me his name after the song about a sad debbie I talked to him and this was probably my first actual conversation I had in a long time and things were looking up. He was complaining that he had felt bad for being so mischievious at home. He said that he has been burdening his parents alot. I was intrigued. He went on to say that his parents were acting weird the previous night when he walked into their bedroom. I think they were Exhaustion and out of breath because I didnt help them clean when they asked me to. To which I burst out laughing obviously and so began our friendship and my light at the end of the tunnel shone bright and strong ever since then. All you really need is the desire which you clearly have and the willingness to achieve that light at the tunnel, the spot of white in a seemingly dark room and make every effort or action from then on out to achieve that optimism and happiness which ultimately give us the pleasure of life throughout all the experiences we will have from then on out. I learned via unfortunate circumstances the appreciation and complications of the society and environment around us and the materialistic things that I wanted my dad to get me would not even provide the slightest bit of the overall joy of the little things in life. Everyone is different in many ways but something I believe everyone has is the inner voice asking for that content satisfaction and driving the mind towards that light to have something to live for and finally be at peace knowing that everything you come in contact with should be and will be affected by your Aura of positive vibes and that it is YOUR Aura of vibes that live through those who are the most important and loved in your life. And dont even let that evil little version of yourself tell otherwise. It is an instinct really to focus on and be attracted to even the smallest ammount of white spot if you have been trapped in a completely dark room. All you have to do is go in closer and closer and closer while ignoring the invisible shutter of light trying to keep you in and when you do get close enough, which you undoubtedly will no matter how long and dreaded it seems, that tiny spot that you once thought would never exist suddenly gets bigger and bigger while destroying the decieving shutter that kept you in the Depressed mood bonds of darkness and eventually the seemingly long journey that started with a small ammount of effort and the perseverence to stick through the road comes to an end finally giving the sweet sweet rewards of the most joyful, content and stable mind bound by nothing else but the sheer desire to live life to the fullest and enjoying the most beautiful sense of doing great things to help the community and the people you will meet and care about. Being loved genuinely for simply being you! It has been 14 and a half years since my tragic experience that in ways Chest Pain more than I can ever imagine but also made me stronger more humble person and changed my perspective of the world and how intepreting the world around us either negatively or positively changes completely if we will see the chance of relief thats always there or be blinded by the chain reaction of negative thoughts that manifest and try to take over. You CAN resist! You CAN think and look at the positive side instead of the darker side! I created an account specifically to post here because I hope to share my entire experience so that you can read in my vibes of support and hope. Life is truly not worth wasting in order to achieve temporary materialistic desires. Hope you discover the wonderful things that you missed and havent noticed yet and in doing so, also find the passion to simply love living life and and doing whatever that makes you content. If you would Hyperactive behavior to know, I have not actively tried to find out the details of the past of my family but I do know that I am the only one. I think I made a good decision to not find out the details because my dad wouldnt have wanted me to dwell on those events and bring me down. I also dont have enough courage to mess around with the most vulnerable part of myself and would Hyperactive behavior to keep moving forward to someday discover the cure of cancer. And of course support people in need during a bad phase of life. :) <--- See that? Bet you will feel better if you beat him with a bigger smile! Try it! Let me know! Haha', 'I just realized how long that reply is ! But its worth a read . Also I apologize for my slightly broken English. ']",Indicator
user-467,"['Hey.Im here,Silly.When youre ready. ', 'I deactivate my facebook. I spent the latter part of my day together getting signatures to promote a new therapy club on campus for people in situations similar or maybe even in worse situations. I feel so much better after last night so I have to thank you, and everybody else.But. Im not completely healed. Maybe Ill never be, but I Hyperactive behavior the idea of waking up and having a purpose again: helping others. Im trying to befriend everybody here. Please dont take it weird, but I want to be your friend so badly. ', 'I cried half way reading your post. Thank you. Just... thank you.', 'God, your ability to express morosity is stunning. You remind me of Sylvia plath. And youll probably end up Hyperactive behavior her. Youre so damn smart Hyperactive behavior her, yet you have something she didnt,  a real connection with people. Sylvia died before she knew how deeply appreciated her works were. I could literally count on my hands te number of times I wished she had a connection with somebody who fueled her, kept her going. You do. You have an entire community cheering for your success. Why in the fucking world would you give up? Youre so fucking young god I wish I was that age. I would go to school again and instead of doing the major my parents forced me into, Id major in English ad write and read ad share my thoughts in Shakespeare and fittz and scott and Blake and Taylor etc. Fuck. Youre spoiled to think life doesnt offer anything. Keep your head Drug abuse and use that superior knowledge of yours to do something amazing. I, we, every single person youve met before knows you can do it.Lets go conquer fucking Mental Depression together. Message me anything. Ill even skype, talk to you etc until youre Nausea of me and the only way you rid of me is by following my sappy, trite advice.', 'Sweeeeet.Thanks for taking time out of your day to draw for us reddit saps!Youre awesome.Heres my request, if you have the time and energy Ventricular Dysfunction, Left over!:: Barney in a hot air balloon, waving hi ::', 'And no. Im still in Mental Depression, but Ive managed to turn my Mental Depression into something worthwhile Hyperactive behavior helping others. Through that process of a bout 2-3 days, Ive met some amazing people and now I dont care to stop at all. ', 'HUZZAH~If you win, we all win. If you fall, we all fall. But the moment you rise, well all pull you up. Youre never alone because you have us. ', 'Dont stop.', 'What is it? Tell me all about it.', 'I was in the same situation. I know **exactly** how you feel man. The life gets sucked from you and everything you *thought* you did. It hurts. But. I went to suicidewatch/Mental Depression and I found immediate help. A voice. A damn voice. Not a loud voice nor a soft, condescending voice. A damn normal, human voice. And I tell ya, after the break-up, thats all I needed. Somebody to Crying Reflex, Abnormal to. And I did. Took 2 hours of his study time (day before exam) and cried Hyperactive behavior Niagara Falls. So. Shucks. Were all human beings here. We all know what its Hyperactive behavior. Youre not alone. Ever. Never alone. Im here. Were all here. Dont you god damn stop fighting for survival. Ive got all the band-aids youll ever need, man. Go out there and get messy again. God knows you miss the mud, ya cheeky bastard. ', 'It reminds me of Feyman when he talked about the stars. I thank you. Every single comment helps so much.', 'Hey.Mtgeue, is it?Its difficult, isnt it?I wish I could be in your shoes, take the Ache for you, and let you experience some of my joy for a second so that, without explanation, you understood how I overcame my grief, anguish, turmoils, and started realizing what real happiness was. Or, perhaps, you would know that there is *always* somebody out there who understands. Cares. Wants you to smile. Is also afraid. Needs a hug. Looks forward to a strangers smile. Likes you. Maybe even loves you. Shy to admit so.I know how how everyday feels. The Sad mood that awaits with every ticking second pummels down on your mood; happiness seems Hyperactive behavior a far-reaching goal that doesnt even render worth the chase anymore. Depression overcomes you in waves, followed by thoughts of parents, friends, possible moments of life where you are expected to be alive for. **Nothing makes sense** other than the cold splash of reality that... you are stuck. Stuck somewhere and you cant see the way out. The light at the end of the proverbial tunnel fades, leaving you stranded. In the dark. Alone. **wishing you had a hand to hold onto**. But he Ventricular Dysfunction, Left. But I didnt. **Im lost, too. I need somebodys hand so much.** I never Ventricular Dysfunction, Left the cave. Im looking for the way out. But, not just me. My friend Jose has been here by me. My friend Diana found the both of us. We havent given up. **Take our hand**. Well get out together. Maybe along the way, we can pick up the others. Yeah? **nods**. It hits hard. The Ache that acts in reverberation through the entire body hurts. And it does hit **hard**. Sometimes it knocks us down. **It knocks me down.** It knocks some of my friends down, too. Yet. Im here. Youre here. Apparently, we have something even harder to counter it. Be it hope? Maybe. For me, its people Hyperactive behavior you. Like Jose. Like Diana. Seeing them smile every so often even when theyre frowning 90% of the time is more than enough to make my body shake with excitement. With Life. With the anticipation that if theyre smiling *every so often*, that means there is something that they still respond to. Still react to. Still find enjoyment in. Still find themselves **alive** in spirit to move to. I remember. The verdant green flow that had held my vision for the ten seconds of when I held her hand, completely aloof to any other matter of awareness. I remember her hand touching mine and the warmth that flowed from her body to mine, channeled up to my heart, wrapping it, and sending it back to the other hand, down to the Earth. **We were part of it.** And when she went. The warmth also did. And so did the green. Blue. White. Breeze.But. **And this is a big ""but"", MtGueu**. I remembered, after some time, seeing the same verdant green. Speckled with white and purple flowers waving by the breezes whisper. I remember the blue, clear skies that mapped the entire earth with an embrace, warming it to vivid rays. I remember it all. And the same emotional connection remains. Intensifies. I dont feel her hand anymore. I feel the cool grass overlying the soil. But I dont miss her hand. The warmth returns. It comes from the earth itself. Ushering an entire new warmth. **I became the connection**. I became the warmth. The earth spoke to me, asking me to channel **my warmth** into it. I cannot begin to express how difficult your passage may be. There will be moments of severe anxiety. There will be those moments where youll stop, question yourself, and feel sluggish to even try to remember where you were going or what you were doing. Yet. Your legs move. Your heart beats. Your veins and arteries carry your life force. Your eyes are still able to capture beauty. Your hears still hear the laughter of others. Your face still something people find themselves blushing at. Your existence becomes needed. **You are needed**. Youre a variable in this equation, called **happiness**. But not just yours. Others. Other people need you. It may be incredibly selfish but its so important that you smile. Laugh. Run. Dance. And give **others a reason to do the same. They look to you.**It took me months to recover from my break-up with the only person I ever felt *love* for; it was the longest, cruelest three months of my life. Suicide was a constant contemplation. Food tasted bitter. The very air was pungent. Even my sisters brilliant smile faded. I reached out to this community after two months of frustration and the very first post I received offered a chance to talk. imagine thatA total stranger offered me his time to talk everything it. It was the first time I cried to a complete stranger on the phone. Ive learned to walk again. Now Im running. But not everybody will recover as fast as I did. Some will recover even faster. Others will languish for years before they pick up the pace and eventually are back in the marathon. **everybody wins** in our own way. I had to find pace of speed in the marathon and I found some people along the way that had the *same pace* I did! What a delight. We werent even in a marathon anymore. We were just friends on the path of happiness and we happened to be on the same stride. **Youll meet people of all different strides**. Trust me; theyre waiting for you to join them. So. **Dance.****Live.****Make your presence known to the world**.**Crack a smile or two. Youre beautiful beyond words.**---------And as always.Im here.Were here.Waiting.When youre ready. We wont go.We wont judge.We wont ask you what took so long.We will listen. We will Crying Reflex, Abnormal when you Crying Reflex, Abnormal.We will laugh when you laugh.We will run with you, because as much as you need us, we **need you** just as much, if not more.-----If ever you need, Im always a pm away.Ive multiple mediums of conversation. Lets dance together.   ', 'I dont want to hijack your thread, but Im also offering penpal services. I always enjoy reclining after a day of turmoil and reading somebodys heartfelt messages. Kudos to you, instantkarma for reaching out. Kudos to those taking up the offer; extending a hand is always a brave thing to do. ', 'Depression affects everybody. Im not sorry you broke up with him; Im sorry your recovery is starting so late. **Fuck it.** Make it rain on the concrete and grass with your Increased Sweating as you take feet to the ground and run. Make books fear your gaze as you turn pages and score exams. Make other students follow your every scent as you leave classrooms, leaving behind a battle scene of intellectual destruction. You go and rape every single thing that stands your way. Maybe the word rape isnt appropriate. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO. **DANCE, BABY**. DANCE. GALUGLUGLUGLGUGULGLUGLUGLGUGLUGLUGULG. Go and conquer the world. ', 'No. Not ""fuck people."" Fuck your boyfriend. Hes perpetuating your Mental Depression cycle. ', 'I am super... sorry. But mind if I take advantage of your offering? I dont know. Can you imagine a confident guy with ADHD just breaking down and crying to air wishing that somebody hear him... was there for him... didnt judge him because he broke character after so long.', 'You betcha, dear! Now talk talk talk talk talk!', 'And youre charming, to boot.I say!Draw me whatever your heart tempts; Im a blade of grass swaying in your artistic gale. ', 'Youre fucking amazing. So fucking amazing. Thank you. Just an hour I was crying. But now I feel so god damn good. ', 'Wait. Why arent you with Kate, then? It seems Hyperactive behavior you two have some pent-up sexual tension. Though Adam may hate you, perhaps it was for the best. Friends come and go and no matter how long youve been friends with a person, theres always that moment where true trials will appear and though maybe Adam hasnt forgiven you, why not try your luck with Kate?Im not saying you should be unscrupulous, but Mental Depression is a state of mind (in some ways).Try it with Kate. And Im sorry it did not work out as planned. ', 'You have a Hypothermia, natural penchant for comedic twists. I love it. ', 'You better finish this. Please. Finish this. ', 'Ive never done this before. Is it... weird of me to ever ask you for a phone conversation? I know its some creepy and... probably an onerous request. But this is the first time in my life I ever felt the need to just reach out to a complete stranger and Crying Reflex, Abnormal.', 'Look, I dont know what to tell you, but heres my Depressed mood situation, too.I fell in love. I fell in fucking love with a girl 3000 miles away. Shes in New York and she loved me, too. Get that? SHE LOVED ME, TOO. I invested Hyperactive behavior fucking crazy. Every single second of the day she would be on my mind. Its been Hyperactive behavior this for the last four months. I just broke up with her two days ago. No. Fuck that. She broke up with me. But she isnt a cunt or a Disturbance in mood or a whore. Shes the best thing Ive ever witnessed. She loved me. Can you believe me? Me. Some kid from some dilapidated neighborhood hoping to be an aspiring screenplay writer or a novelist and her, a 4.0 student with a beautiful face and an Irritable Mood befitting a princesss regal temperance.I fucking hate my life. Before her (and I dont blame her. In fact, I have to thank her for everything shes given me. Fuck I wish I could tell her). But I cant. Shes dating a new guy. And it hurts. It hurts knowing that for 4 months I was trying to make everything work. I comforted her from 3000 miles away and I made every effort I could to surprise her to feats to cheer her up, put a smile on her face, or make her laugh.And she loved me. She did. She said it so many times. And I... loved her so damn much.And now... (a couple of days before we broke up, she said she still loved me. But I knew for the longest time she fell out of love some time ago) shes gone from my life. I couldnt sleep. I couldnt fucking eat. I was a damn happy trooper before I got into this shit. I even deactivated my facebook.But now. Now. .... Fuck.The break-up was smooth. I apologised for anything Ive ever done to Chest Pain her and she cried saying she was sorry for letting me go Hyperactive behavior this. I said it was okay. I did. And I didnt Crying Reflex, Abnormal.I didnt Crying Reflex, Abnormal for the last two days. But just thirty minutes ago I cried Hyperactive behavior a damn baby. I cried for so long and hard and I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked at a broken guy who just hit rock bottom. Who just hit rock bottom.Get that through your head. I just hit rock bottom. Rock fucking bottom.And now. Fuck. And now Im subscribed to Suicide watch and r/Mental Depression. And Im reading stories Hyperactive behavior this and Im thinking to myself; maybe it isnt so bad. Maybe my pains just my pain. It isnt going to kill me nor is it going to ruin my life. You. Youll survive. That weirdness youre describing about yourself? Its fucking nothing compared to what I went through. I WAS IN A DAMN RELATIONSHIP AND I LOST IT. Lost it all. You? Youre making an excuse for yourself. But I feel you. I make excuses all the time. But you know what? After this message, Im going to fucking get back to my studies. Eat a damn hearty meal and fucking watch a movie until I fall asleep. Ill wake up in the morning feeling Hyperactive behavior shit, but fuck it. Ill plan out something and keep myself busy. PLEASE KEEP YOURSELF BUSY. Go to meetup.com and look for things to do in your area. SERIOUSLY. MEETUP.COM. I hit rock bottom. I still miss her. I still want her, but shes gone. And Alis gone, too. But fuck it. Your dreams and goals arent. Your dreams and goals are now just magnified into mother fucking priorities. Lets do this. Contact me. I will talk to you until my fingers bleed. ', 'If you want to talk, message me. Seriously, dont hesitate.', 'No.Just no.There is no way your life is ""meaningless"" let alone void of romance. Do you not read your own words? Why are you looking for something you already possess?>\xe2\x80\x9cThe problem, often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things in life Hyperactive behavior love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. The most successful people in life recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation. For me, I am driven by two main philosophies, know more today about the world than I knew yesterday. And lessen the suffering of others. Youd be surprised how far that gets you. - Neil deGrasse Tysons response on Reddit when asked ""What can you tell a young man looking for motivation in life itself?"" I remember clearly that AMA some months ago (I think it was last month, actually) and reading through his responses to various questions, thinking to myself after browsing for a solid twenty minutes, that Neil deGrasse Tyson isnt some scientist wrapped in his own shrewd world voided of anything beyond data and facts; the man exudes *romance* in of himself. But, why is he relevant to your post? He advocates not looking for satisfaction elsewhere beyond oneself. Isnt that an amazing philosophy? For the longest time, I thought that happiness was ""out there"" under a rock somewhere, or maybe in an hour glass figure donning a red dress, or perhaps even in a home-cooked lasagna meal. It isnt, mate. I wont pretend to think I am an expert on happiness Hyperactive behavior Spinoza, Socrates, Seneca, Montaigne, etc., was. But I do know, however, that happiness is the end-all to any type of suffering. Its funny, because, Ive talked to homeless people who are seemingly the happiest people ever, yet they possess nothing beyond a few trinkets and a shopping cart. I know that anybody posting in SW is looking for some kind of response - some indication that their words not only are part of an cathartic experience but an omen for mistakes to be avoided; thats damn kind of you, man. I Irritable Mood it. I think it takes courage to post something, especially to *admit* that one lacks an inability to be happy, yet desperately striving for it. There are doers and there are talkers; youre a doer. Youve been doing. Youve been successful in so many more ways than youre giving yourself credit, and I think thats where the problem lies. You arent giving yourself enough credit.There **is always** meaning in life. Check this video out:http://www.wimp.com/calmmother/You might question the relevancy of the video in my response and your message. Think, though, of what the mother is doing and think of how Sedated state her child is compared to the screams of other children in the ambiance. Can you imagine what, during those precious moments of time, the mother is thinking? Shes not thinking about financial woes, Flatulence prices, mortgage payments, college tuition of her children, clothing being stained, or that theres even an earthquake going on. Shes preserving the smile on her son. And you, my good sir, cant ever let that smile fade away because there are ***so many damn people*** depending on that smile; that smile of yours is an indication that the world is safe, full of opportunity, and bountiful. That *damn fine, much needed* smile of yours propels more people in their life than you think.Like the mother, dont let peoples smiles fade because they cant see yours. Show the entire world that youve reason to live, and they wont ever have a reason not to. Be **bad ass**.And if you cant seem to come to any solace, give me a call. Ill dance with you. Seriously, Ive an entire TMNT costume set that Ill wear and dance to it. Just for you, mate. **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM** LETS DO THIS, HOTCAKES. ', 'Hey. Im here for you.Pm me and Ill talk to you, man. ', 'You dont have anybody? bullshit. Here I am.PM me. Lets make this happen. Im here for you. YOU HAVE SOMEBODY. DAMMIT. YOU HAVE ME.DONT YOU DARE NOT PM ME. I WILL NOT LET YOU GO.YOU HAVE SOMEBODY.', 'Hmm.It seems to me that your problem isnt the Phobia, Social disconnection, but maybe your own troubles with accepting who you are.Often times, people who are perfectly fine otherwise, put themselves in situations that dont fit their character. I dont know who you are or what you do, but you seem to me Hyperactive behavior a logical thinker.The best way for a logical thinker to be happy is to ... well, flirt. Flirt with every person. Flirt with everything, everybody. Just flirt the crap out of everything single girl you see. Now, Im not advocating you flirt until they slap you, but flirt and tease and say things Hyperactive behavior ""youre absolutely adorable.""Im as logical as they come, but even I succumb to a lifestyle where comforts brought by the idea that Im... worthy in a way that nobody else is.Dont give yourself these excuses Hyperactive behavior ""I have to go out...""No man. You never have to do anything you dont want to. Watch the Big Lebowski. Watch Good Will Hunting. Watch movies. Get a netflix account. Do things that makes you happy. Buy a toaster and break it open and try to fix it.Dont give up on life just because you think life gave up on you.No. Succeed in an area where nobody has done before. Make something of yourself by telling yourself that youre going to make something awesome. Dont go near the idea of not being awesome because once you do its a downward spiral and itd be a damn day if I see you go down that spiral. Dont do it. Continue telling yourself, SERIOUSLY, tell yourself that you can do it. If you ever need me, dont hesitate to message me. Seriously. I frequent reddit and I will always take time to respond to you.  ', 'I came late to this but it looks Hyperactive behavior youre already having somebody to correspond with, and it seems to be somewhat effective in taking your mind off things.You say you read books dealing or talking about philosophy and about existentialism? Thats wonderful. Not everybody has that deep understanding of how life can be so meaningless and yet, its meaningful.Youre in a great position to not only boost yourself, but your entirely family up. Spend money on things thatll make everybody happy. While it may seem insignificant to you, the smallest gestures goes a long way in anothers mind. I come from a similar background Hyperactive behavior you. While Im still in school, I always felt Hyperactive behavior a major fuck-up to my parents. Theyre Asian and my brothers are only moderately successful. Im the odd one in the family and Ive always had the reputation of being the one child that they relied on to be successful but was not.I dont know what youre thinking your problem is. Youre self-employed; youve a beautiful character about you; your deep understanding seems to be resounding; your family members are still close to you, albeit they may not be as responsive as youd Hyperactive behavior; and youve people counting on you to survive, thrive, and entirely fuck up the Hypothermia, natural world with your suicidal thoughts. Hey man. If youre already contemplating Suicide, you might as well go out Hyperactive behavior a bad-ass. Youre already destined with death. Might as well go seek it yourself guns blazing.It is selfish. It is very selfish for drunk individuals. But youre at an age where you can get away from that.I suggest meetup.com and look for meetings within your areas. Dont shy away. Seriously. Just strap up and say ""fuck it. Ive nothing to lose. So Im going to just go out guns glazing and I dont give a fuck anymore."" And guess what, this guys probably in a worse situation than you and look at this awesome levels of not-giving-a-fuck: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnkM6A6aAUcEverybody is selfish. You and I are a bit selfish, too. But the difference is, you can support yourself and you can make Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult decisions without anybody slapping your Ache wrists and nobody can judge you.I seriously want you to go to a gym. The first step is to sign up and go. Go every single day. Work on your chest/back on Mondays, your legs on Tuesday, your arms/shoulders on Wednesday, and try to run on Thursdays. On Friday mornings go to hikes with people from meetup.com. Theyre more than willing to accept new members. FUCK, THEY WANT NEW MEMBERS. WHERE DO YOU LIVE!? Ill MAKE A FUCKING ACCOUNT FOR YOU AND ILL SIGN UP AND ILL FLIRT WITH GIRLS AND GET THEM ALL EXCITED TO SEE YOU< MOTHER FUCKER > WOOOOOO.Dont take my advice passively. Ive been where youve been (though Im not your age) and Ive understood the idea of a meaningless life so damn intimately. But some anonymous people reach out to me and I cant fucking be idle while there are others who may be in worse situations but without any appropriate outlet. Thats why Im starting a club at my school to give a voice to those who dont have one. Im doing something with my Mental Depression. What are you doing? ', 'Im here. Seriously. Im here. If you want, Ill give you my phone number and you give me a call. And I expect you to say hi proudly. Because Im proud to have a person Hyperactive behavior you consider me a friend and trust me enough. Im proud to live a life where total strangers trust me. That to me, is more humbling than anything gift in the universe. Were all in this together. We are. Every time you fuck up, we all fuck up. Every time you accomplish something, however minor, we all feel the damn pride of accomplishment. Words may be cheap in some context, but from reading yours, I could already surmise the type of man who could write such words, and that mans pure awesome. So stop looking at your problems as ""problems"" but as temporary challenges blocking you from happiness. What that happiness is, Ive no idea, but I can tell you that my happiness sometimes is the joy of being able to get coffee and being able to say ""hi"" to random strangers on the street and fully get a ""hi"" back. Youre in a position where you have enough financial abilities and freedom to do something amazing. Pick up a hobby. Go cosplay. Build a suit. I always wanted the ability to do cosplay, but Im currently attending school and I dont have the time nor the money to invest in such an endeavor. But you. You, my fine sir, you are amazing in every way Im not. So come on. Buckle up. Dont be afraid to reach your hand out there.If youre lonely, meetup.com. If youre bored, meetup.com. If you want an experience, meetup.com. Unless you want to be where you are your entire life, you have to put yourself in UNCOMFORTABLE situations and make that situations SO DAMN COMFORTABLE, you keep going back.Look. Not everybodys destined for global greatness or international fame or a stellar nobel prize. Some people are destined to be great/amazing fathers, mothers, brothers, sister, CEOs, neighborhood gossip, etc. You have the ability to be amazing in every single way you want; dont ruin that possibility by comparing yourself to some Phobia, Social addicts who get nothing but temporary enjoyment out of life. Personally, I find myself absolutely happy when Im sitting with a friend on sunday at some obscure cafe playing chess and sipping coffee. You? You can do anything. PUT YOURSELF IN AN UNcOMFORTABLE SituATION AND MAKE IT SO DAMN COMFORTABLE. TALK. JUST TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALKTALKTALK TO EVERYBODY YOU SEE. Eventually. I KNOW THIS. eventually, theyll talk back and... well. Youve made it. Youve made a marker in the universe. I cant wait for you to that.PM me if ever youre looking for somebody to talk to. I do not shy away from company. Besides, youve more wisdom than I do. I wont shy away from that learning experience. (Or if youre really bad-ass, expand concentrate on your business and give back to the community when you make it big. OH MAN, thats always been one of my dreams).', 'Question: why are you in love with a girl that cheated on her boyfriend? ', 'I dont see anything wrong with you and Kate being together, but from experience Ive understood that women on the rebound tend to be only emotionally attached and not mentally attached.Give her time and if after she sobers up from the entire ordeal she still wants you, then you know that truly, its her desire and not her emotional need. Apologize to Adam and be on with it. There are other girls around. Ive seen many cases where friends ruin their friendship over attractive women, whom, in the end werent even a great reason for such breakage. Im not against Kate nor am I against you, but I think what happened to Adam was a huge violation of his trust. Hes the victim in this, not you or Kate.You dont owe Adam anything, but take a long look at yourself and ask yourself if youre the person you want to be. If not, then change it. Like Gandhi once said, ""Be the change you want to see in the world."" Its an over-used quote, but there is much truth in it.Adams heart was wrenched and Kate did cheat on him. She couldve had the scruples to at least break up with Adam before  having intercourse with you, but she chose not to. Personally, I fear any woman that can do that without remorse.And youve no reason to be sad, mate. Youre a good guy who just had sex, though at a cost. But. Doesnt matter. Had Sex. Cheer up and start loving yourself no matter what. ', 'Heh. Youre the first person in a while to even comment on my writing and not my content. I thank you.It still hurts. It still fucking hurts, but after yesterday, after the explosion of my painful throe, I feel so much better. I felt Hyperactive behavior my entire cynicism from life just melted and I have a new purpose. Im trying to create a club at my school thatll promote a therapeutic environment for anybody and everybody. I dont want anybody to go through what I did and not have a place to let it off their shoulders, chest, head, etc. Thank you, Mr. Tuttle. Thank you very very much. Your comment alone makes me sigh with gratitude. ', 'What is the problem? Seriously. Tell me everything. ']",Supportive
user-468,"['You obviously care for your mother quite deeply... Living without her after what youve been through must be a terrifying thought, but do you really think this is what she would want?', 'What would you say is the root cause of this feeling, then? Or is it something you arent entirely aware of?', 'I see... In that case, Im sorry - I didnt Irritable Mood to lean too heavily toward that option.Even so, you still have us. Would you be willing to talk about whats happening in more detail? Or did your post cover pretty much everything?', 'What makes you feel so disgusting and ashamed? Are your friends or peers homophobic? Are you religious?', 'Do you really think youre being needy to ask her for help in this situation? If she came to you with something Hyperactive behavior this, would you think she was being overly dependent?', 'How so? Were you deeply looking forward to having children, or do you just consider homosexuality to be unnatural?', 'You are **not** nothing.Whether or not you can see it, or others acknowledge it, you are here, and you do have value. Even if you feel you really do have nobody to turn to, or that nobody cares for you, were still here to listen... And if you decide to leave, know that even if its only us here at SW, you will be missed.Have you tried talking to your girlfriend about how you feel, though? If she agreed to be in a relationship with you, she must care about you to some extent... Do you really think she would ignore you if you told her what you were going through?', 'You know... I dont know you. I dont know what youve been through, or whats lead you to such a steadfast certainty that any life you would lead would be unconditionally horrible, but there is one thing I do know.For all our knowledge - our instant, worldwide communication network, our pocket-sized libraries, our Mars Rovers - nobody can know the future.People have been trying to find methods of looking into the future for millennia, but the reason it still eludes us even as we take our first steps on the Red World is because, by its nature, the future represents limitless possibility. An infinite number of possible outcomes... Whether or not you believe it in this moment of despair, there are paths that can lead you to happiness. And you have the power to forge your own path - after all, the greatest influence on your future is your own decisions. Your will, your choices.Tomorrow could be an amazing day - a day of peace, and encouragement - and all you have to do is choose to make it one. In fact, it might be a great day even if you dont choose to make anything of it. I dont know the future either.', 'So you feel lonely despite having friends because you feel none of your relationships with them are genuine?', 'Is that really true? You seem to be perfectly intelligent and capable, as far as I can tell. Odds are fair that youre at least decent at something... But to be really good at something, you have to practice a lot, and give yourself some time to improve. Its true of any skill.You must have some interests, though. They dont necessarily have to relate to your education, or a career path... Or anything, really. Hell, I do medieval recreation in my spare time.', 'Why do you feel so hateful toward yourself? What makes you think that you dont deserve these things? Is it because of anything specific, or have you just felt emotional since your delivery?Do you think you might feel better if you were able to get some rest? I know firsthand how much Hypersomnia deprivation can tangle your thoughts and feelings.I cant imagine how much pressure the idea of motherhood must be, especially since it seems as though the father isnt part of the picture... But please dont do this. You said yourself that youre surrounded by people who care for you... Your friends, your ex... Your daughter... How do you think this would affect them? Do you honestly think ending your own life will really make life happier for any of them?Why do you feel you cant discuss these things with your friends? From your comment, it seems Hyperactive behavior theyre rather concerned already, and they would probably be more than willing to help you. If you cant bring yourself to do it, no matter the reason, there are always people you can talk to. We at SW are always willing to listen, and help you work through this... Im sure there are other counselors you could contact as well.Just please, dont give up. Nobody deserves this kind of death.', 'Im hardly a psychiatric expert, but even if it is purely founded on a chemical imbalance (And as near as I can tell, we still arent totally certain that it is), understanding that these feelings of sadness and self-loathing have little to no external source could help her overcome this in a number of ways. Besides, support groups and other non-medical therapeutic options are still used as methods to address and treat postpartum depression.As I said, Im not an expert, so you could very well be right, but Ive never known trying to understand ones feelings and their causes as being as unhelpful as you seem to suggest. Perhaps, when all is said and done, antidepressants are the answer, but as a rule I dont personally recommend people to things that alter their brain chemistry as the first resort, considering how much we still dont understand about the human brain and its chemical operations.']",Supportive
user-469,"['For a while I wasnt sure if I was suffering from Mental Depression since it was a very cognitive experience for me. I reasoned myself into virtual nonexistence and contemplated Suicide, but eventually realized that it is a dreadfully final course of action and that even though one person is most likely inconsequential it has the potential for greatness and to change the world or the way the people view the world (which are often synonymous). The result of my dance with Mental Depression is that I dont want to have any kids, I dont want to die of old age or Hypothermia, natural causes which leads only accidents and Suicide (which is always an option so I shouldnt trouble myself too much over it) and that the world is too interesting to leave it just yet. If I get too bogged down in life I can always try being a hobo and walking around the world or something along those lines. ', 'Im not thinking on the scale of Hitler, more on the scale of solving everyday problems and having your solution spread around the world Hyperactive behavior indoor plumbing or ball-point pens. ', 'This is the same conclusion I reached when I was contemplating Suicide and Im grateful Im an atheist. If I werent and I truly believed in life after death I would probably have decided to go ahead with it and see whats next.', 'I would Hyperactive behavior to volunteer in this subreddit but Im not sure if I would do more harm than good, given my condition and opinion. I am apathetic and have a pretty dark view of the world, which many have said is not very healthy, though it is perfect for me. The thing is: I dont think Suicide is bad, as long as it is based on sound reasoning and motives. I believe everyone has the right to control the way they live their life, and that includes the way their life ends. If you are suffering from a debilitating disease, if you are in a horrible situation with no escape, or if you have just had enough and want to see what comes next, you should be able to peacefully end your life without having to Anxiety about someone ruining the most important thing in your life: its end.Sure, Suicide is not for everyone. Some that contemplate it might only be having a really bad time, some might just have a chemical imbalance, some might be overreacting, some might be under the influence of mind-altering substances or influenced by some other people. For these people there might be available some other, less drastic and final, routes of escape. But some are quite rational and maybe even justified in their choice. Maybe for them the alternatives are just too hard, maybe they are too Muscle Weakness to go on, maybe they tee the world differently than most people do and thus live in a different world, or maybe they just really want to do it. What gives anyone the right to judge them and infringe on their freedom? If someone who would otherwise be considered clinically sane and, for example, would be fit for trial and for serving a sentence in prison and not a mental institution, would decide to end his life, why shouldnt he have the right to do so peacefully? So... yeah... Im not posting because Im not sure how helpful my advice would be if it would eventually boil down to something along the lines of: ""Suicide is so dreadfully final. But if you think you have a good enough motive and no other avenue open, then sure, go ahead. Just make sure you really want to do it and that you do it right."" ']",Ideation
user-470,"['Thats sad but I can see how you could feel that way.  Its Hyperactive behavior half your team is quitting on you and dumping all their extra emotional baggage for you to carry but you dont need that shit and can carry on stronger by letting it go.', 'I know that feeling man but I hear you have some good hash in India, the next time you want to relax smoke or eat some and let things work themselves out.', 'Hang out with her and chill, let her talk or not, hide her pills.', 'This might be okay because it sounds Hyperactive behavior you have some specific problems that you need to talk about...some people (looks at self) have no idea what the fuck the problem is...so if you have some shit that you need to get off your chest this is a good place to get some perspective ... ', 'We just gotta do it one day at a time, take care of today, no need to Anxiety about a made up future.', 'Im no doctor but I do know people have been soothing their broken hearts with alcohol for hundreds of years so I wouldnt say its automatically a sign of a problem.  Leave the guy alone. Trying to care for him too much will just confuse his emotions even more.']",Supportive
user-471,"['Hoping for some earth shattering revelation can be difficult. What if one never manifests? I know common sense would say that the pursuit of the possibility is one of the parts of being human, but it just doesnt sound at all attractive to me. And I did finish it, and loved it. Really wish I wouldnt have had to gave waited for the movie to get me interested in it. The movie wasnt terrible in its own right, but it of course cant stand up to the comic. The 3 hour extended version was way better. ', 'I came over and tried to look at her phone, she Hyperactive behavior jumped on me and said yo give it back. I said she was cheating she said ""I never agreed we were back together."" so in a sense, yes. ', 'Its just rough, I dont think there is anything out there. For years everyones told me to hold on and keep looking, and I found something that made me feel happy and normal, but it left. It took me 18 years to find one thing, and even then I wasnt good enough to hold onto it. Also, debating random strangers is great. ', 'Maybe, Im not sure honestly. Its an interesting thought but as a freshly minted 18 year old whos trying to overcome a Phobia, Social of driving and just found a second job (I worked at a factory a few months before being laid off) uprooting is a hard thought for the moment. Besides, I doubt theres anything out there in the world for me. I died a long time ago. ', 'I wonder a lot, but the wondering is about things that dont exactly encourage what one would label positive thinking. Mostly about morality and the Hyperactive behavior, and about how death is a in an abstract sense a diety within its own right. But thinking doesnt make me any happier. I have medicine, and it levels me out some, but it also changes my thinking. Im not as sad, but it dulls other emotions too. ', 'Maybe to people worth digging, Im not one of them unfortunately.. And yeah, sometimes I wish I liked children. ', 'A girl, Id dated once or twice before, but it had never felt Hyperactive behavior that. We were together Hyperactive behavior six months, broke up, she was seeing some other guy, then we started talking about getting back together, started going on dates, spending nights, saying I love you, whole nine yards. Then her friend told me shes been hanging out with him again. ', 'Not having to ever go back, or even having the option too, sounds pretty wonderful. But I do agree it can be a challenge xD', 'I really doubt I ever will find anyone else. No one else ever cared about me that way why should it happen again now? I just dont think Im good enough to warrant that sort of interaction with someone. And it seems thats the only thing I find even somewhat fulfilling. Hows being a parent? ']",Ideation
user-472,"['None. the few friends i still talk to live 1500 miles away, and arent in any position to help me.', 'Everyone glorifies sex. But all the good love stories dont even mention it. Sex is fun, sure, no ones  saying it isnt. but it doesnt define a person, those people that brag about it? theyre PATHETIC. they need that to keep going, and when they move from one woman to the next, i bet they feel hollow inside. I bet they feel empty, Hyperactive behavior a vast burning desert where their heart should be, no tears of rain shed on the desolate wasteland that was once fertile ground, waiting for the seeds of love to be planted. Your time will come. (spell that however you want. ;) keep your head up, there are much more important things in life. if its really so important to you, askseddit, and meet up reddits are on here, too, but... to be honest, i think youre better than that. You could have sat alone and cried, sulked in the loneliness... but you had to strength to ask for help. that is NOT an easy thing to do- and ill bet 2 things; those ""men"" that brag about sleeping around dont get laid half as much as they say, and they wouldnt be brave enough to ak for help if they were in this situation. youre a true man. Edit: this is coming from a guy, and im 20. just for perspective. :) Im here if you need to talk. So are a lot of other good people.', 'Needing help isnt pathetic, maybe what you think youre doing wrong is just her wishing you would reach out?', 'i agree, but punching at walls also means youre penting-up Anger. you can workout and punch bags to change that Anger and energy in a positive way (^ just Hyperactive behavior he said^). ', 'which would be amazing, except where im going has hundreds of homeless, and no shelters. and i wont have a place to live when i get there.', 'I really hope that helped you and i didnt say something completely wrong....', 'because i had my girlfriend break up with me, lost my job, and had a million other things going-on, and asked to be Ventricular Dysfunction, Left alone. not 20 minutes later, my stepdad was in my room screaming at me about dishes. i blacked-out, next thing i knew i had a sword to his throat... ive been sitting and waiting for 9 months, doing work for random people, ive applied to over 500 jobs, and was just about to get one when i called to cancel because i got my plane ticket.', 'From the day i was born, its been nothing but problem after problem. theres no break. my Schizophrenia, Childhood home broke down, my mom and i went from house to house, we ended up in the ghetto... people smoked meth on the front porch, broke into our house daily, sometimes through my room... then i lived with other people, and got the shit beat out of me for 2 years, after that, got the shit beat out of me all freshman year, drank myself into a 2 month blackout, and now i dont remember 2 years of my life. i got through it, everything was ok for about 2 years, and now this... i cant do it all again.', 'Sometimes, death looks Hyperactive behavior a pretty good option... you arent the first to think it... but, and i might get banned for this (please read the whole thing! i love this sub!) imagine if you did. i know you think youd have peace, that youd have a release from all your problems, but... then what? i dont know what happens after this life, and it doesnt matter, but you cant possibly be done with everything you want to do already- you;re the same age as me and i know that i still have a lot i want to do. Im sorry that you had a breakup, that shits tough. im sorry you were abused, thats terrible as well. im sorry that you dont have the perfect family, and that you think youre falling apart at the seams, truly. But why give up? what does that really accomplish? youre a scientist! A SUCCESSFUL STUDENT by your OWN credit! you can make advances that could benefit this world for years to come. maybe even find a permanent solution to Mental Depression, who knows. I sure the hell dont. but what i DO know, is that youll never find out if you just give up. So dont. fiht to the bitter end. But you arent alone. at the very least you can talk to me. and whoever else is willing to listen when you feel broken and need a crutch. i think you can stand on your own. i think that this is a crucible for you- a moment in your life where two things can happen; you live, and grow stronger for the experience... or you dont. but right now, that is ENTIRELY up to you. youre life has barely started, why end it now? ', 'Updatethanks guys... it was nice to have someone there... i ended up having a great day right after, too. :) i posted a thing about it, basically i got a big bag of weed and smoked-out random people. :D thank you for caring everyone. unsing heroes and whatnot, helpin people.', 'Im 19, and i was supposed to be going there because they have jobs and i could get student loans and go to college, and have a job to help pay the bills and take care of my sister, because theyre having trouble.. and they just keep switching things around, but everything was just fine until i had a ticket...', 'Bloodlust, runs in the family.', '500 applications, ive met over 100 managers.... im not going to live in a shelter, im Nausea of leeching off of people, and the last thing i want to do is be back in a Depressed mood place Hyperactive behavior that... death is so much simpler...', 'Of course. And if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. :)', 'Plenty of people are here. ^_^ And we all want to talk to you bruh.', '... there is no second chance.', 'SugarLips is right. Also, as a guy, i feel driven to tell you...that isnt a man, thats a boy. someone who treats a woman Hyperactive behavior that, who stops by for his own selfish reasons and leaves when you need emotional support isnt someone you need in your life. you can do better, please do. I want to say this in the most distanced way possible, but... i treated a girl Hyperactive behavior that for a long time. it wasnt that i didnt realize i was doing it, it;s that i didnt care, because i knew she would always be there for... whatever i wanted. when i finally saw the things id done, actually looked at it unselfishly.... i was disgusted with myself. you cant fix him. you need to tell him no, and keep that boy far away. move on. i cant tell you how to deal with all the other things here, but please, love yourself enough to cut that cancer out of your life.', '... im done trying.', 'You think so little of yourself, but the woman you described isnt the kind that would post here. Anxiety is a really hard thing to live with, but by posting here, youve overcome it- at least in a small way. College is hard work, its not for everyone, and it takes dedication and concentration- otherwise it wouldnt be a big deal when people graduate, yet you see tears of joy all throughout the crowd at a graduation ceremony. If you decide you cant do it now, you can always  come back. I dont know how you look, i cant say you arent fat, but what i CAN say is that someone thinks youre beautiful. Someone out there in this world, someone in the 1000s of people whove seen you over the course of your life, thinks youre beautiful. even just statistically speaking, someones out there wishing theyd asked you out at that starbucks, at safeway, in the parking lot at school, wherever it might be. And there isnt anything wrong with being heavy anyways im VERY overweight, and my last two girlfriends have been heavier than me. :) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. you need to stop looking at yourself as being that suicidal little girl. Youve grown since then, youve overcome challenges, youve gotten stronger. And right now, youre doing one of the most difficult things in the world- youre asking for help. Think about that, honestly. Stop reading and think about what it took to reach out and say everything you ju8st did, to open-up your heart to (currently) 31,339 readers, and say ""This is me, please help me."" Thats one of the most difficult and terrifying experiences i can imagine, especially with Anxiety Mental Depression issues. So in saying all this and asking for help, havent you proven to yourself that youre stronger than that? It doesnt take courage to overdose, not even a little. It takes weakness, weaknes that you have NOT shown. Youve shown courage and the will to live- the STRONGEST instinct our genus and any species in eistence posseses- youve shown that you dont need to give up. You dont need to OD, you dont need to leave. Because no matter how hard it is, you just asked over 31,000 people for help. over 31,000 STRANGERS. So heres your help miss marbles. Youre better than that, whether you think so or not i KNOW so. So even if it hurts, even if its hard and scary and its the last thing you want to do, stay alive. ']",Indicator
user-473,"['In some respects I can relate. Im a guy, but the only thing Ive ever really wanted in life was to find love. Every day I come home wishing I had someone special to greet, to cuddle with, all of that. I tried to kill myself once I despaired so badly of ever finding love. I still havent found it, but I have changed dramatically, and I can say with absolute certainty that Im closer now than ever before. I increased my odds ENORMOUSLY.Do you want Love? I think you do. Heres the good news. You CAN achieve your goal, you can have the joking and flirting and all the other wonderful things that come from love. But how? Youre going to have to fight for it - focus on making YOURSELF better (not more attractive to the opposite sex). Work out, get new clothes that look better, try to do whatever you can to make yourself a better, more interesting person. I gained new friends who helped me turn my life around through sheer chance; I built up confidence slowly over the course of 5 years, I earned a Masters Degree in teaching and learned to feel comfortable around teenagers (which helps with everyone else) because I didnt have much choice. Try to get out; I met some new friends at a group on meetup.com; all of whom though awesome people have similar issues.I feel your pain, because although Ive done all that, there are times when I wonder if its useless, that although I may be the most badass person in the world, no girl could ever know because Im ugly or just because Ill never meet her. Ive done all this work, and I feel so drained, Hyperactive behavior my batteries are Exhaustion from all Ive done to better myself and there is never a moment to recharge, that I cant push on anymore. Yet I always think of the what if; and that part hasnt changed since that day I tried to kill myself. What if it happens? Is that worth all this pain, all this loneliness? I think it is. So Ill keep fighting, and whenever I do find her, wherever she is, Im going to do everything in my power as a mere mortal human being to make her happy (not smother her of course, just be, uh, awesome).And dont feel so terrible about sending your tits over the internet. I have very little self-esteem in my appearance and I can see doing the same because we want to feel attractive, sexy, to give ourselves hope. Attraction is a factor, and I think we shouldnt feel so guilty for it. In a perfect world it wouldnt matter, but in truth it does, and if we can accept that it can help.Also, some people on the internet can tend to somehow devolve a good 15,000 years and become jerks or something Hyperactive behavior that. Normal Person + Anonymity = Dickbag much of the time.', 'Me too, I have fantastic and wonderful friends, but it never feels Hyperactive behavior enough. I want to be loved so badly, to be the center of attention, to have something about me be interesting to one person (not that I mind reciprocating). One of a million reasons I want so badly to find love, and Maybe thats one reason I love teaching so much?', 'A lot of people claim that anti-depressants make them ""numb"". Im on THREE of them and Ive never felt this feeling, nor full of hate, or anything. If you can get medication, try it out. If you feel any of those symptoms youre Social fear of, then get off of them and try something else. It takes time to find ones that work for people, and its sad that so many people try one and go ""ALL ANTIDEPRESSANTS EVIL"". First one i tried made me want to Hypersomnia CONSTANTLY. The ones Im on now dont do anything of the sort.Beyond that, stick it out in school. Its tough, but its so much harder to have to make up for lost ground later in life. At your age I tried to kill myself, cried every night, felt agonizingly alone, hadnt felt happy or even ""content"" in forever. But you know what? Now I have so many moments where I look back and think ""It was worth it. All that Ache, all that suffering, if I had to go through it again to get to where I am now, I would do it."" Keep fighting - you may not believe you can make it, but you can. Not much help I know, but its all Ive got at the moment.', 'Please dont, if you need to talk to someone about how youre feeling, Im happy to help - I once tried to commit Suicide myself and now Im so grateful someone talked me out of it.It hurts, it hurts so much, but hang in there. Change is possible, and people never cease to utterly surprise me in wonderful ways.', 'Dont let one person (boyfriend), or a small group of people (family) define who you are. Dont let those people make you feel Hyperactive behavior you arent worth anything, because that speaks volumes about them and not you.You are more than what a few people think about you. Theres something more in there, always remember that. Someday youll find people who will value that, who will love you for who you are. Just because they arent here today doesnt Irritable Mood they wont be. Hang in there!', 'Ive experienced some really horrible dreams while depressed, though I dont often remember them. The classic recurring one is that Im in love with someone, something horrible happens to them and Im powerless to stop it. I once had a very vivd dream that honestly fucked me up for Hyperactive behavior a year. I tried to kill myself once, and the emotions in the dream were even sadder. I had never felt so depressed. I got to see the girl I thought I was in love with (unrequited) drown about 50 times. It would always reset, but always my efforts to save her in vain. On to you, the fact that youre remembering so many dreams definitely says something about the quality of your Hypersomnia. You remember dreams when you wake up mid-Hypersomnia cycle, which leaves you groggier and all that. If you can figure out your Hypersomnia cycle and adjust, you will feel so much better. There are a lot of tools to help you do that!Although Ive often wondered about those lives we live in dreams, never remembered, that we dive into every single night so thoughtlessly, blissfully unaware of the unremembered horrors (or joys) that await us in those other lives in our heads.', 'Don\xe2\x80\x99t think your problems are stupid, or that you\xe2\x80\x99re being a \xe2\x80\x9cwhiny little bitch\xe2\x80\x9d. I tried to kill myself for even more trivial reasons, and of the many people in this world who are \xe2\x80\x9cwhiny little bitches\xe2\x80\x9d, you most certainly do not sound Hyperactive behavior one of them.First, you haven\xe2\x80\x99t failed. Yes, a lot of people make a lot more money then you do, many of whom are probably dumber and work much less. Sadly, the business world doesn\xe2\x80\x99t always reward hard work, it rests on connections and all sorts of other reasons the absurdity of which I can\xe2\x80\x99t even begin to wrap my head around. That\xe2\x80\x99s not a reflection on you, your capability, or any of that. You have a wife and a family, something that I would give anything for, and that\xe2\x80\x99s where wealth truly lies. You care deeply about them, this is obvious. I get the sense that you feel Hyperactive behavior you are failing them by not earning enough money and that you can\xe2\x80\x99t support them and provide for them, which is a really powerful thing. Yet you can give them stuff that matters a lot more than money. I know people who have had Depressed mood parents and grew up in bad neighborhoods little money, and nobody ever talks about the fact that they were poor \xe2\x80\x93 they talk about the fact that their father Ventricular Dysfunction, Left them when they were young, of the fact that their parents never even bothered to read to them or care. You can provide that to them \xe2\x80\x93 you can\xe2\x80\x99t give them as much as you would Hyperactive behavior to (can any of us?). But you can give them what really matters \xe2\x80\x93 your love and support. You have to rent an apartment? Lots of people do, and the size of your walls or the size of your TV is hardly where the meaning in life lies.Let\xe2\x80\x99s presume for a moment that you did kill yourself, and your family got the insurance money, while your wife remarried someone else with much more money as well. Would it really help your children for them to have their own bedroom and bathroom while they lay Wakefulness at night wondering if somehow they were responsible for their father\xe2\x80\x99s death? Would it help them with the Guilt they would feel at having complained or any of that? Might it make them think that if only they hadn\xe2\x80\x99t existed and sucked away money that you would still be alive and that they were responsible for it? Maybe, maybe not, I can\xe2\x80\x99t say, but the impacts of something Hyperactive behavior killing yourself would be with them for the rest of their lives. I haven\xe2\x80\x99t even mentioned your wife. Love isn\xe2\x80\x99t a commodity that can be replaced haphazardly. She married YOU, not some other guy. Maybe finances have really taxed your marriage, that\xe2\x80\x99s understandable. But she would also carry the weight of your death with her for the rest of her life.Has this only made you more Depressed mood, more despairing at the seeming lack of escape? Perhaps, but you don\xe2\x80\x99t have to be rich, don\xe2\x80\x99t have to have a nice house or any of that to be a good father or husband. YOU HAVE THIS. In twenty five years, when you\xe2\x80\x99re children are getting married, they can hug you with a joyous smile and say \xe2\x80\x9cThank you so much dad \xe2\x80\x93 for everything\xe2\x80\x9d. Not the money, but for being a good father. Maybe this ephemeral \xe2\x80\x9cother guy\xe2\x80\x9d that your wife might marry has more money, but can he give the same amount of love to your kids. Maybe, maybe not, and do you really want to take that chance?You haven\xe2\x80\x99t failed your family, you\xe2\x80\x99ve kept fighting despite it all. Don\xe2\x80\x99t give up on it now. Take joy in having wonderful people in your life, appreciate the little things, and be the best father and husband you can possibly be. No amount of money you could ever bring in can replace those things.', 'As someone who has gone through this, it sounds Hyperactive behavior you may have clinical depression. You have nothing to feel sad about, yet something in your brain is not delivering the proper amounts of seratonin, dopamine, or norepenephrine or some such. As a result, you feel Depressed mood for no reason. Depression is usually some combination chemical imbalances and brain-stuff (Im not a scientist) and external factor. For me, I started off Hyperactive behavior you. It just didnt make any sort of sense that I was Depressed mood for no reason, so unconsciously I searched for a reason, which was that I didnt have a girlfriend. Over time, the chemical part (which is easily handled by antidepressants) evolved into the non-chemical part which nearly caused me to end my life.Moral of the story? Go see a doctor, give antidepressants a go if you are able. Dont be discouraged if the doctor puts you on one and it doesnt work or has weird side effects. It usually takes a few tries to find the right one, but its definetly worthwhile. ', 'First, let me say that Ive been in a somewhat similar situation and got out of it to a large degree (more below), and if you want to talk more, Im really happy to do so. I know I wished I had someone to talk to about stuff back then who actually had some idea of what I had been going through.This is probably a bit long, but I can only hope what Ive learned since I was in a similar place might somehow help you. I\xe2\x80\x99m happy to elaborate on my story privately if you would Hyperactive behavior.Long story short, my freshman year of college was a lot Hyperactive behavior your situation. The only thing I truly wanted in life, and indeed the only thing I do still truly want out of life, was to find love. Everything else is secondary to that. I had no friends at school, my only possible career choice I could think of, teaching, had resulted in me getting kicked out of the education program at my school for not turning in work. I had absolutely no friends, none at all, and every morning I felt utterly hollow. I had absolutely nothing in life to look forward to, and I felt Hyperactive behavior a Depressed mood failure who shouldnt find love anyway because I would drag them down. How I got through those days without just ending it all is something that I cant explain to this day. The next year, I got stuck with a random roommate. I was terrified, for at this time I was crying constantly, shaking, all of that. Yet little did I know, my life was about to change.To make a long story short, my new roommate and his friends were determined to get me out into the world. It was so difficult to get to know them, perhaps the most difficult thing I\xe2\x80\x99ve ever done. I was boring, terrible, would be a drag on them. The problem was, I wasn\xe2\x80\x99t at all. I put forth all of my effort into interacting with them, being careful, trying to belong. Over the course of months I discovered that, to my perpetual astonishment, I can be funny, I can be likeable, I can have friends. My life completely transformed. I\xe2\x80\x99ve even been described as \xe2\x80\x9coutgoing\xe2\x80\x9d, when previously I was the introvert king. The thing is, when you base your self-image on what you believe yourself to be, and that\xe2\x80\x99s negative, that impacts how others see you, and it masks the real you. Somewhere along the line I stopped being \xe2\x80\x9cDerp\xe2\x80\x99s Roommate\xe2\x80\x9d and instead \xe2\x80\x9cDuck3h\xe2\x80\x9d, and now 4 years later, I\xe2\x80\x99m still friends with most of those people.I just graduated with a Masters in Teaching, and at my student teaching assignment got over 100 letters from kids saying how awesome I am. I still get Depressed mood about love, still Anxiety constantly, still lay Wakefulness at night and wonder if I will ever find it. But compared to where I was, I\xe2\x80\x99m a new man. The thing was, they didn\xe2\x80\x99t \xe2\x80\x9cchange me\xe2\x80\x9d. It was all inside me, but I doubted myself too much to let it see the light of day. I was the Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder person Hyperactive behavior you claim to be, but somewhere in there was a truly awesome guy, and I suspect that girl is in there for you as well. A few things:First, never think that you are unlovable, that nobody would ever want to be with you. Guys at this age are still running after supermodels and learning, and you may walk past the perfect guy every day, but you can\xe2\x80\x99t magically look into each others hearts and see what\xe2\x80\x99s there, so people initially go for the trivial things that don\xe2\x80\x99t matter too much in the long run. Guys don\xe2\x80\x99t hit on you? That says nothing about you as a person, only about how you present yourself to others. You want love, that is an incredibly noble and wonderful thing, and I confess I can scarcely hope that I will meet someone who values it as much as you (and I for that matter) do. From your post, the crying, the breaking down, poor grades, that doesn\xe2\x80\x99t define you. It\xe2\x80\x99s what in your heart that does, and from what I can see in your post, that girl is awesome as shit. Seriously. You aren\xe2\x80\x99t Abnormal behavior because you have trouble interacting with people sometimes, or anything Hyperactive behavior that. You\xe2\x80\x99re Abnormal behavior if you spend evenings singing with imaginary chipmunk-people. Second, its easy to get so wrapped up in trying to make others Hyperactive behavior us that we forget about ourselves. We try so hard to please that we lose ourselves, and ultimately Chest Pain ourselves. Get spread too thin, and then we might as well not be doing anything. Focus on a few areas in life, and keep in mind what I said above. You\xe2\x80\x99re awesome, and if anyone is going to judge you harshly as a person because you want to be loved or have some Phobia, Social awkwardness, is that someone you really want to know? No? Cool. The stupid thing is that all the advice people told me over the years was true, but I had no idea how to implement it. Now that I have, its so easy to fall back on that simple advice. It\xe2\x80\x99s late and I\xe2\x80\x99ve taken Drowsiness pills, but again, happy to talk more about ANYTHING. You may feel Hyperactive behavior ""why put my burdens on someone else"", but the truth is, I get more meaning and joy out of helping people somehow, empathizing with Ache, all of that, then I do Panic people in Planetside (which ive been doing). One reason Im a teacher! I stopped someone from committing Suicide once, and though she felt horrible about putting me through that, I have never been more grateful for an opportunity in my life, because If I die today, I know I saved one life.', 'Why suffer? Because  there are ways of managing schizophrenia, because you have so much ahead of you to learn and experience. Taking medication wont magically fix things, but it can help. A lot. I suffered for years, crying every day, wanting the Ache to stop. Nearly lodged a bullet in my brain. Why did I continue to suffer? 5 years later, Ive experienced things that I could never have imagined, things that made me say ""you know what? Id go through it all again for this.""Out of curiosity, WHY do you want to kill yourself? Are there any particular reasons you want to do so? ', 'You can feel free to PM me anytime you ,need about anything. Ive been in that rut. Maybe I can help, maybe I cant, but Im happy to talk with you. I know how much people online helped me get through the roughest years and if I can reciprocate, Im happy to!']",Behavior
user-474,"['Thank you for your reply but my problem is actually very complicated. I live in an Arabian middle-eastern country where sex outside marriage is not very common. Im also very ugly and obese. All these factors contribute to the fact that I cannot neither marry nor have a gf, and will never. Due to this situation I became very Depressed mood, quit university and was put on antidepressants which just aggravate my ED (Im still able to masturbate but usually with the aid of a drug that is similar to Viagra, antidepressants usually make me even unable to just masturbate). I dont have a job and I have no friends, I live with my parents and my brother. I feel jealous of my brother all the time. I really want to kill myself but I still feel coward to do so.', 'I spend my day at home either watching TV, surfing the web or taking care of my elderly parents. Sometimes when I feel not too Depressed mood I go out and walk 1 to 2 hours to try to lose some weight. No, I have no hobbies or something I enjoy.', 'Hello, Im from Egypt.', 'I just want to be a normal person i.e. I want to have my own house to live in. I want to have a job. I want to be good looking. I want to experience a relationship with the opposite sex. Yes, I hope I can lose some weight so that I might look better. I have recently lost about 30 lbs but Im still obese ([BMI](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_mass_index) 30.7)', 'Due to some unknown reason, I lost my ability to have an erection when I was 16. In 2013 I decided to have medical investigations to check whether my ED is physical or just psychological. I had an ultrasound which confirmed that I have an untreatable problem with blood circulation of the genitals (called [venous leak](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venous_leak)). Im sorry as English is not my first language :(', 'I have the same problem.']",Ideation
user-475,"['Please dont kill yourself! Im here! I will listen!', 'No! Please dont! There is always someone to love you! I love you, I dont even know you! Please dont end it! I was there too, I was a cutter and anorexic, I looked for help. You can too!']",Behavior
user-476,"['By all means do. When you feel Hyperactive behavior talking you always reply, Hyperactive behavior, you said what she felt for you in the past but you havent talked about how you feel for her, or what did you told her when she finally called, or even what you felt when she called. Were you angry? Relieved?Just clear your head. I bet you are feeling really bad right now. Take a shower and go to bed. That has always helped me in the past. ', 'I cant really tell you anything to help you cope with loneliness. Even at my darkest I never felt lonely, although I was very much alone (it was a narcissistic thing, I isolated my self from others and used it as an excuse to justify me not being able to connect properly with people or form meaningful relationships). Thats out of my league. But about the failure part... I feel you. Being a unaccomplished person can be hard. And the more you fail the harder it gets. I still feel Hyperactive behavior shit when I fail. Even at little things, its sort of a thing that had carried on from the past. What worked for me is a small change of mindset. Even the smallest of victories, enjoy them. Take baby steps. The sun is falling and Im still clean. Today I got up a little earlier. I didnt Crying Reflex, Abnormal today. It sounds kinda silly and even a little sad, but it really helps you know? The accomplishments really do Attention Deficit Disorder up, even if you feel Hyperactive behavior its pointless when you fail again. Maybe youll even get to this part. Its a quote from another redditor. It was from a thread asking what small feat they were proud of. Someone said:Every fucking little thing I do:""Damn, that was an amazing omelette, I rock""""shit im good at tying my shoelaces""""fuck, i only hit snooze twice today, I must be some kind of deity""It made me smile you know? Thats a fantastic mindset. I cant really feel *that* happy or exited about the little things. I honestly try you know? It works! When I feel Hyperactive behavior complete shit on my way home from work I straight my back and remember myself of how fucking awesome I am. And even if you know its a lie. Do it. Lie to you self. Believe that lie. It will slowly make you a better a person and then it wont be a lie anymore. My personal is to be Hyperactive behavior that guy tho hahaDamn must be nice....Another thing that helps is having a clear goal. When I feel Hyperactive behavior Im a total disappointment I sort of day dream about my future. Have an impossible dream. One so large and distant even uttering it will come up as a joke. But its no joke. Every single step no matter how small you take, is progress. Be happy to have made it. That is the most important thing. That saved me, actually. I wont really talk about my dream, its the most personal thing about me, I dont feel ready to share it. But my other two goals are to become FUCKING AWESOME at the guitar and learning 30 FUCKING LANGUAGES. Ahh... It do feels better thinking about it. You know? Im a complete DISASTER at either of them. Im self learning both. No classes or teacher or anything. Im just a failure at guitar, it took me months to learn a single song and not even a hard one, but hey, I learned it. I fucking learned it yeah!! And the languages... Fuck! They are so hard!! But baby steps you know? Ill take them. I know one more word today. I *accomplished* something. I think its the daydreaming that helps the most. It really makes you want to reach those goals. I have the stupidest grin when I think about the day Im a some random place and there is a foreigner and the dont speak the local language, I talk to them in their own language to ::perfection:: and then someone comes to me and says ""Wow, you know German?"" And I go""Yeah... I know German... And French.... And Dutch and Portuguese and Russian and Japanese and Korean and Spanish and Italian and..."" Goals man, they do that to do. They make you look forward to the future. Even if you are a loser. One day, even one faaar in the distance. One day you will have something. A real accomplishment. It may be a diploma, a studio album, international fame; what ever. The point is that its yours. ', 'I squinted my eyes... I was expecting a horrible monster. Someone with horrible deformations. The comments are more than enough proof. You are good looking. You ugliness is only in you eyes. In you mind. You can get rid of it. ', 'Why yes, I think about this everytime I feel Depressed mood and/or sad. How laughably small motes we are in the vastness of existence. Then I remember that one thing I simply must do. You should find one too! I wont say what mine is because its a stupid and foolish little dream, but hey! Thats what keep me going. The fuel that powers the little engine that is my body :)Havent really lurked much in here so I hope I didnt went against the rules of the community by speaking in this manner!', 'Im new here, but I think the main purposeof this subreddit is to discourage people from suicide, not helping them do it. You are already here, talk about it. Why do you want to die? How often do you think about killing yourself? Is there nothing in the life you could possibly want?', 'Please do! Your ""tried"" and ""goodbye""... I thought you were really going to it. If anything bad happens later  this place is always open for advice. ', 'What is suicidal ideation? How do you ask this?', 'Wow... You are just Hyperactive behavior me. I Irritable Mood seriously. I felt as if  those words were typed by my hand. My hand from years ago. Growing up I didnt had much access to technology Hyperactive behavior I do now so I really would have downloaded an app but I did set a date. Hey! Would you guess what was the date? Exactly a year ago. (Well, a year and 6 days to be exact)Talk to me. You say theres nothing to fix, and it really is scary how much you sound Hyperactive behavior me, but theres pleeenty of room for growth. You can always better yourself. You dont have to tell me how much time is Ventricular Dysfunction, Left on the timer if you dont want to. But please do say, why do you want to die? What was the shit that went down?', 'I wonder how was the day when this happened to me, I have forgotten but I really wished I remember. You can do it. Those thought will probably be there waiting for the rest of you life but you can become strong, so strong that they will become nothing more than a reminder of those times when you were sad, a reminder of how you pulled through that. ', 'I feel suicidal almost every time Im genuinely sad. When I feel Feeling despair and feel Hyperactive behavior its pointless. Actually, it is pointless, and that depresses me, I just have to take it. But you know, I have never before in my entire life ever looked to the future so brightly. A goal.Look, I dont really know about other people, I barely know myself. But everytime I feel in a ""fuck every single thing in this world"" or ""Im done"" mentality, I always think about my dream. And not reaching it is something that for me is simple not possible. It gives me a drive to life Hyperactive behavior nothing else in this world. Yeah, its really comforting not having to Anxiety about things, but life is really worth living when you Anxiety about the *right* things. ', 'You meant you grew up? I kinda also felt the same. I remember sometimes I would sit in a corner all night in complete darkness reminiscing the point of it all. There was a dumb sense of superiority in that I was the one who saw the truth and everyone else was blind. That I could fool everyone into thinking that everything was fine and dandy. I honestly had nothing going on for me back then, i wont go into too much detail because it was still not that far back and I dont want to go back into that mindset. I still run away from it. I had made a promise to me back then, I feel really scary shivers as I write this because I still vividly remember it. It was a bad time for me. But hey, time that promise has long since past. Actually a few days back I turned 19 so just over a year actually. Im really glad I found a point to it all. Im glad it broke that promise. I even look forward to the future now. I honestly dont even know how it happened because I also felt Hyperactive behavior you. There was no point in anything and there wasnt even a single thing in this life that I found interesting or that I was passionate about. I dont want to ramble on and on so Ill just say it. I found a dream, one for me. ...I know it sounds kind of silly, but that silly and impossible dream really is what keeps me going. It makes want to become a better a better person. Actually, I *have* improve or else I wont ever reach it. I want to reach so badly. *So* badly. I have never wanted anything so more with my heart that it. I guess thats what *normal* people feel about life by default right? Im jealous. Slowly the bad thought will fade away... Not completely but they become manageable. Im happy now. Well, not always... You will always have to fight against that thing inside of you. But I think Im stronger now. I feel Hyperactive behavior when I smile I really Irritable Mood it.Maybe that will work for you too? Just hang on a little longer.  Thats why I did. And it worked out! It really did! I Irritable Mood fuck man, younger me scares me. Im lucky enought to have evidence of it. A journal my father gave to me when I was a child. I never really got into it but ever off year or so I would write something. And every now and then I read that entry I wrote when I was going through that. Its hard to face that that was actually me. Hang on a little more, maybe youll surprise yourself Hyperactive behavior I did. ', 'Hey pls reply... This comment really Social fear me... Dont do anything Localized Rash generalised ok? If shes not answering wait till you talk to her before doing anything. If someone I knew killed themselves because I didnt answered my phone I think that would kill me. ', 'You had interest before, what happened? What changed?', 'Edit: this is part 2 btwAlso about the hate you feel, I dont really know about other people for me it was that I was sending them the hate I had for myself. Like instead of hating my self I hated them. I was also bitter. It felt Hyperactive behavior genuine hate but only now I see that it was all rooted in how I was nobody. I really wish you the best. I know I Irritable Mood nothing to you but please take my adviceand wait. That killing the pope and being the first and being recognized... Fucking make something awesome out of it. Have an impossible dream, one that will drive you and challenge you so hard that you will be forced to actually do something.  ']",Indicator
user-477,"['Hey. First off thank you for coming here to talk about it. It can be very scary to think of things Hyperactive behavior this and easy to feel Hyperactive behavior the walls are closing in around you and there is no one else in the room with you.I read in your comment that you recently lost a friend. I am very sorry for your loss. It can be easy to think about death when it visits someone close to you. It affects everyone differently, so I wouldnt take what the other friend said to heart.The important thing here is that you want to feel different. That is something very good. Feeling different and making those thoughts go away is not something that is likely to happen right away, so dont beat up on yourself for not being able to suddenly feel better. You experienced a loss, and that is a difficult thing to deal with.Just try to remember that you are not alone, and that you are not a bad person because someone said so in anger. It can be difficult not to dwell on things Hyperactive behavior this, and sometimes trying specifically NOT to dwell on them can just make you think about it more. I have found that the easiest way to stop thinking poorly of yourself is to get busy. When your mind is focused on a task it has much less room to think negatively. Add to that, working on a task leads to finishing a task, which leads to a feeling of achievement which can also help you to feel better.', 'I gotta agree with you that sometimes I wish I could just be a dick too. It comes naturally to so many though that I feel Hyperactive behavior its not even a skill anymore. To be naturally kind is a rare trait found in people I want to know.How are you feeling? Any better since posting this earlier today?', 'Hey. I dont know how much it means to you, but from the way you wrote you seem Hyperactive behavior a pretty great person. I personally admire the way you think of many other people, talking about blood donation and covering your roomate. I think you are around a lot of people that dont recognize your value.Remember that Mental Depression is not a logical disease. It doesnt necessarily come from your surroundings. There is no need to put yourself under the extra pressure of being expected to be happy. You sound Hyperactive behavior you have a lot on your plate.For what its worth, you seem Hyperactive behavior an awesome person to be around. I dont really know how good I am at cheering people up, but you have convinced me to donate blood more often (I am also O negative, but only donated 4 times). I hope things start looking up for you.', 'Dont Anxiety about rambling. Its a good way to get out your stream of consciousness.First off, congrats on graduating on schedule. Thats a Ache in the ass feat that I am not going to be able to do.Second, not official medical advice, I would definitely talk to your psychiatrist and therapist about this. If they send you to the hospital, its because thats what they sincerely think will benefit you. They are on your side. There you can receive more specialized care and perhaps medications that will help you out. If you hide things it is a lot harder to give you the help you need, so try to be as open as possible. This is what I believe I would personally do if I were in this situation. I hope things work out for you.', 'Hey there! Im just going to focus on one part of what you said here. You said that you spend most of your time in the house while your friends go out, and thats contributing to making you feel crappy about yourself. It would be a pretty sudden and rough transition to force yourself to go out with your friends, so maybe a nice middle ground would be to make some friends on here! Maybe some people you can talk to here can help you boost your self esteem so that you feel more comfortable and ""ready for the day"" so to speak. Ill start by introducing myself: Hello! I am 21 and in my Junior year at college for an IT degree! I started with chemistry, but the program here really got me down and I ended up stalling for awhile and feeling Hyperactive behavior crap for a few years, so someone convinced me to switch. My middle name is Tyler, which is a pretty decent name I guess. Something many people dont know about me is that my great grandmother fled from the Jewish massacres in Russia in the early 1900s. She walked from St. Petersburg to the Mediterranean sea, and then took a boat and ended up... wait for it... in Germany! Just in time for the Holocaust! Damn thats some bad luck isnt it? Anyway she noped the fuck out of there, and here I am 80 years later.The point of that story, I guess, is that I didnt really have a point while writing it, but now that I look at it, she was in a Depressed mood situation but just kept chugging along. Like Winston Churchill (I believe) once said: ""If youre going through hell, keep going."" Hope some of this rambling helps you feel a little better about yourself.Oh yeah some kind words. Your a pretty badass girl. It takes a lot of courage to talk about how you feel on the inside. Dont Anxiety about comparing yourself to others. You are who you are, and I think you are beautiful. No need to let anyone tell you otherwise. A lot of people are dicks and prefer to advance in life by putting others down instead of elevating themselves. Good luck!', 'Glad to hear it. Maybe someday we will meet up and Ill buy you a beer for your service. Stay strong my friend.', 'Maybe it will help you out to talk to someone who is naturally calm. I have always found that simply by talking to someone who is calm, the effect spreads a little bit. It may not be much, but I think it definitely helps.So, for starters, how long have you felt this way?']",Supportive
user-478,"['Well first and foremost, you are absolutely doing the **right** thing by posting this.  Consider this: you obviously care about him and clearly want to help him get better, you seem to mostly just be torn on how to best help him.  In my humble opinion, I would probably go and tell his parents because it will probably be easier to get him help than for you to do it.  Im here to talk for a bit if youd Hyperactive behavior to PM me, but until then think of this: If youre worried about him being Anger if/when you tell his parents, its infinitely better to have an Anger friend than having the possibility of losing one.', 'The shittier your life seems to be now, imagine how much more satisfying it will feel when you pull through it all.  Life sucks at times, but it *will* get better.', 'If you havent already talk to your professors, especially the one for the capstone course, he/she might be able to help you out and pass so you can graduate sooner rather than later.  Also, talk with your wife about the courses and how youre doing, things might not be a bleak as they seem.', 'Perhaps I dont understand how bad your life is, but I can nearly guarantee you that there will be effects from your death.  Whether you die naturally in 60 years or otherwise, there will be effects from your life ending.  Forget about death though, think about life: think about all of the wonderful things you have got to look forward to.  Think of when you get a job, how satisfying that first paycheck will feel.  Think of how great it will feel to know that you will go so far from where you are now.  As for the rent, explain your situation to the people who you owe rent money.  Let them know the situation youre in and let them know youre looking for a job.  If they are good and honest people, Ill be damned if they dont give you a break on that.  You seem Hyperactive behavior a good person, the world needs more of them, not less.', 'Would you Hyperactive behavior to talk with me for a bit? Im a fellow middle child for one thing, and Ive had my share of issues with my family as well.  Ill be here for a while, so if youd Hyperactive behavior to talk, just PM me, Ill be here for a while.', 'If it was fun writing it all out, imagine trying to actually make some of it happen.  Now good luck getting Horizon rebuilt, but some of those things are reachable goals that will likely Attention Deficit Disorder a sense of purpose to your life.  Learning about engines, in fact, *most* learning can be done online for free just by poking around youtube and some other sites.  Learning CPR can be done pretty easily, as far as I know it takes a few hours on a weekend.Might I ask what you are/were getting your degree in?', 'Youre really going to do this on a Suicide prevention post?', 'I know you said how much you hated talking to therapists, but perhaps you would feel differently about talking to a regular person?  Ill be here for a while if youd Hyperactive behavior to PM me.', 'Would you Hyperactive behavior to talk for a bit?', 'You seem Hyperactive behavior a good person, the world needs more of those, not less.', 'Were a nice lot here, so unless youre looking for some cooking recipes we can probably help you out, or at least refer you to someone that can :)', 'Imagine everything in your life has been paid for, housing, transportation etc.   What would you do with your time/money/passion?']",Supportive
user-479,"['Its the redeeming parts that keep me going.  Life is all about challenges and most importantly, OVERCOMING those challenges. Who cares what the rest of the world is doing/thinking/saying?  I know, speaking only for me, I am the only person who controls my destiny.  When those thoughts cross my mind, I can only think that my job here isnt over. Keep your head up brother.  Put the gun down and find hope in places you never thought it existed. ']",Indicator
user-480,"['Yes.', 'Not really. I guess Roy (FE6) or Link. WW Link to be exact.', 'The disease is the most prominent thing, yes. Im not sure if a hotline would really help. I have a psychiatrist (dont exactly know how to spell that, im not from an English speaking country) but i think my problem really just lies in the Ache and how it affects my life. Was just wondering if someone would know how to, i dunno, help me live with it?', 'Not really. I have a lot of people around me whom i love, school was good before the Ache too.EDIT: how did you get through your Mental Depression or whatever it was?', 'Hi, sorry for the late response, PC was malfunctioning. Ill Attention Deficit Disorder him, see if i get along with him. I dont really have a favorite hero btw :)', 'I play that and Dota. ', 'I need to watch some old Disney stuff, see if that cheers me up haha.', 'Thank you :)', 'Its not really a disease anymore. Just imagine the worst stomachache youve ever had, times 1.5 and thats what i have 24/7. And it makes me feel bad emotionally and physically, physically because of the Ache and emotionally because it bums me out. And im extremely open to everyone i trust, and they really are trying to help. Its just that, its kind of hard to do something about it. The only thing they can really do is be there for me. Im actually REALLY happy that ive got so many people around me whom i love.', 'I kinda have hope but its just depleting. Im getting the results of a test in a week or so and most of my hope lies on that.', 'Thats a really good advice. Reminds me ive got a list with a billion movies on it that i still want to see haha.', 'Roy is kinda useless unless you give hem exp priority which is rather impossible from chapter 6 onward imo. Also i have a WW Link plush haha.Anyway, i dont really know. I think its just something that comes and goes. It started about 1-2 years ago though i think. By the way, since we are so off-topic lets PM haha', 'My little brother would always watch Ratatouille when he came home when he was 7, my big brother would watch Finding Nemo twice a day when he was three, im really the only one in this house that does not have an emotional attachment to a Disney movie haha.^edit: ^I ^just ^recalled ^I ^watched ^the ^shit ^out ^of ^Wall-E.', 'My teacher had the same advice. Just sit it out and try to keep yourself entertained/distracted. The wait is just... so long.', 'Playing the game helps me kind of... escape life. If im particularly sad i can always just go play Dota and ill end up a lot happier. Its one of the few things that distracts me in such a way that i barely feel the Ache whilst playing.', 'This. Thank you for this. There will come a day when i too, will not have Ache. It can take a while but i should always follow the light at the end of the tunnel until ive reached it :)', 'Well im kinda fine with the things i do. Ive tried 1781.5 different hobbies and only one was fun haha, gaming.']",Indicator
user-481,"['That was an offer ya know ', 'Interesting advice, but I cant really muster much in the way of Anger right now.Mostly just regret, just the other day I was contemplating asking her to marry me Hyperactive behavior she had wanted to', 'http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtDMJ3NKOpo', 'Replace sad music with something epic, the kind of thing you hear and then immediately want to go out and fight a bear one on one.Also, you might wake up alone now, but baring some sort of highly accurate magic 8 Ball you dont know what the future holds.', 'And the best way to repay that love is not to put people who care about you through something Hyperactive behavior this.You want a reason to keep going? Make one up, do whatever the hell you want, what do you have to lose.', 'Yet again, thanks. Ill definitely try', 'Dunno really, depends what happens over the next week.', 'I can relate a little too well to this. Hell as of a couple of days ago we were back together, then it just sorta fell apart after she started thinking I was doing something I wasnt.Wish I had something useful to say, but Im way too drug and needed to get it off my chest ', 'Taxi + card= movement, or card, cash, train?', '2 things for you, one dont go walking into traffic, aside from the obvious danger it places you in I doubt it would the driver of the car that hits you much good either. Two if you feel Hyperactive behavior chatting, ranting, raving or any other possible variant thereof feel free to PM me ', 'Thats kinda the Abnormal behavior thing though, even if it was entirely her fault Id still feel the same way about her.And Im 23', 'Careful with that, I did just get given tomorrow off :p', 'Its whatever you want it to be', 'NoYoure amazing and dont you ever forget that.', 'I feel the same way more than Id Hyperactive behavior to lately. Waking up in an Depersonalization house knowing the one person I wanted to be there with me wont ever come back. Hell I made the mistake of reading through some of our old facebook messages, I really cant believe someone so loving and who cared about me so much turned into the person she is now. Its not right.', 'Allons-y', 'Yeah I know, I guess I always though that everything between the two of us was enough to get through a few of the Depressed mood moments Hyperactive behavior this ', 'Be careful doing that, you say my name 3 times and I show up wherever you are with a bottle of vodkaOh, et \xe2\x80\x8b\xe2\x80\x8bau cas o\xc3\xb9 il vous remonte le moral. Tu es toujours la personne la plus incroyable que jai jamais rencontr\xc3\xa9 dans mes 23 ans cette petite plan\xc3\xa8te \xc3\xa9trange', 'http://youtu.be/IcrbM1l_BoISoundtrack to some of the worst things Ive lived through, yet Im still here. Thats pretty hopeful if you ask me ', 'Maybe theyll both come back. ', 'Mine isnt ', 'Preciate the offer, but things getting better doesnt seem Hyperactive behavior the answer. Hell things got amazingly better before all this, just makes the inevitable fall so much harder', 'Damn it man, where were you when when I was about to blow my brains out. Id much rather be still alive because of a joke than a gun jamming.']",Ideation
user-482,"['All Im saying is keep searching. Never give up on life. Death is forever, so try your best to enjoy the short time we have on this earth. Trust me, Ive had multiple points in my life where I thought Suicide was the answer, but you have to remember the good in your life. EVERYBODY has something good that has happened in their life. Some more than others. But, when those moments occur, you remember why life is awesome. Trudge through the shit and allow life to surprise you again. IT WILL HAPPEN, I promise you that. Were all going to die at some point, so why not just wait and see what life has in store for you? ', 'Im going to keep this as short & sweet as possible. Dont live your life for others. Be selfish and find out what makes you tick. Find out who you REALLY are (I know, easier said than done), because it sounds to me Hyperactive behavior youre living your life seeking love / approval from others. Stop giving a shit about what people think / say about you. Find what makes you happy in this world. Even if its only the smallest bit of happiness, pursue it to the fullest. Life is a precious gift and shouldnt be taken for granted. Live for the simple pleasures in life. The smell of fresh raindrops on the asphalt. The cute girl/guy that works at your local supermarket. The Taste, Metallic of an ice cold Mountain Dew on a hot summers day. Those are just a few examples of what I mean. I have no idea if those will actually resonate with you, but you get the point. The sheer beauty of life & the possibility that things can change in the blink of an eye is what always keeps me going. Anything thats worthwhile in this life, requires perseverance to obtain. Youve been given the gift of life, dont waste it, change it. If youre not happy with it, NEVER give up, because you can always change it. Dont compare your life to the successes of others. Be true to you, and who you really are. The challenges in our lives shape who / what we become. Be brave, be strong, and most importantly, hold on.', 'Ultimately, youre going to do what you want to do. And, youre going to view the world the way you want to see it. Youre in charge of how this turns out. No matter what anybody says to you in this thread (Or anywhere for that matter) the choice is yours. I hope you choose life :) Ill leave you with this poem, written by Charles Bukowski. It felt relevant to what you just said in your last comment.""your life is your lifedon\xe2\x80\x99t let it be clubbed into dank submission.be on the watch.there are ways out.there is a light somewhere.it may not be much light butit beats the darkness.be on the watch.the gods will offer you chances.know them.take them.you can\xe2\x80\x99t beat death butyou can beat death in life, sometimes.and the more often you learn to do it,the more light there will be.your life is your life.know it while you have it.you are marvelousthe gods wait to delightin you. ""- Charles Bukowski - The Laughing Heart ']",Supportive
user-483,"['All I had was her cellphone number, so when I called them, all they were able to do was call her. She didnt answer and got Anger at me. Thats all there is...I cant do more, sadly... Were still talking, but at this point Ill have to accept her decisions. I offered to pay for a flight here, but she doesnt want anything.', 'How exactly does any of that matter if shes gonna kill herself?', 'Okay Ill call the cops on her then. I feel kinda bad about it, but I dont want her to die...', 'It was all I could do. It didnt mess anything up, but I dont think it solved anything either. Definitely was worth trying, though. Thank you very much.', 'Thanks for the support. Any helpful suggestions you fucking asshole?', 'I cant exactly go to her to stop her from putting broken pieces of glass inside her...', 'She really doesnt want me to do anything. She is done, she says. I cant do anything to help her, etc. Many problems, she doesnt feel Hyperactive behavior explaining because I wouldnt understand.She really seems certain. I dont want to make it worse for her by calling the cops. Its her decision. I dont know enough about her to judge.What can I really do? What will the cops even do?', 'Thank you, btw.']",Indicator
user-484,"['I have been in a similar situation. In Drug abuse school my best guy friend, arguably my best friend period, fought with me a lot, or we fought with each other. We spent almost every day together because it became Hypothermia, natural to do so and it wasnt that we didnt have other friends, we were just so familiar. It wasnt until our senior year, after four years of being friends, that I found out he had been in love with me. His best friend told me. He never would. For that reason, because he couldnt share his feelings with me, we fought to the point of hating each other. It drove me Abnormal behavior knowing that my best friend could be hiding something of such stature from me. And at the same time I didnt even know if it was true because I was too afraid to ask at risk of sounding pompous. I went through some of the same emotional ups and downs as you. I contemplated ending my own life, more or less fantasized about it all the while knowing I never could or truly wanted to. But the point is, to this day, three years later we still cant even be in the same room, the you person who knows the most in the world about me cant even look at me. You need to be able to talk to her. Lay everything, ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING out on the table. This doesnt Irritable Mood you need to resolve your friendship it just means you clearly need closure. There are obviously feelings being concealed on either end because if you knew exactly how she felt and vise versa you wouldnt feel so hopeless. Talk about it.. as awkard or difficult and heart wrenching it may be.. you have to get it all out before you can finally move on. ', 'Yeah I know how awful it was to feel Hyperactive behavior that and I just wish someone had have told me how to fix it. Not that I can tell you the exact way to fix your situation but you will never feel fully better until you talk everthing out. And even if she isnt willing to talk to you, write her a message or a letter, anything that lets you express all of your feelings, literally EVERYTHING so you can feel at ease with the fact that you did everything on your part to gain that closure. you will feel better. i hope everything works out for you (:']",Ideation
user-485,"['I am excited! Thank you for doing this! You are awesome!! ', 'Haha do what you wish. I have faith in you and Im excited for the final product! :-DIf you need to talk at all throughout their stay because of Stress and what not please dont hesitate to pm me :)', 'Oh no, I want the 41"". I wasnt not even thinking about the loop lol. SO standard size is perfect! Is it possible to get an end that allows me to easily remove keys and what not? Like it has the little lever and opens and closes. Does that make sense?', 'I am trying to work on finding myself and what my values really are but I feel I am making progress. I updated my post so you guys could all see what has happened and why I havent posted in so long. I hope ot hear from you soon :)', 'Hey buddy. Sounds Hyperactive behavior life has delt you a terrible hand a really terrible one. I am sorry that happened I truly am. Dont give up though. Hang in there. Challenge life. Seek therapy for sure because it will help. Talking it all out will help. I know right now it doesnt feel that way but it will. People love you. Your Aunt does. She took you in. The Ache will end you just need to head down the right path. Therapy will help you take the steps needed to get to that path. Please, please, please dont leave this world yet. Youre a vital part of it. We need you. ', 'I can see how the world around us can easily get someone down. As you pointed in your post. The thing is the you cant let that get the best of you. Try to find the beauty that still exists in the world. It is out there we just have to look.So many people in your life would be crushed if they lost you. You are important. When I become Depressed mood and cannot shake bad thoughts I focus on breathing. Disregard all things around you at that moment. Focus on the air hitting your nostrils. In its own way it is amazing. It works for me. If you need to talk please pm me. I will be up all night. ', 'I am sorry to hear youre having a rough time. That sucks. I feel you. Have you thought of traveling? People do change from place to place. We are all unique and raised in different settings. You might be surprised to find that if you travel over just one state. Im not great at advice but maybe a change of setting will help you. Please pm if you want to talk. :)', 'I am. Lol :) Can you do that? With some achievements?', 'Because there is no one else out there quite exactly Hyperactive behavior you. We all have something that make us, us. You are important. ', 'They are very supportive of me and the decision I have made. They are all willing to help me however they can. It does Ache my mother very much. She has had very little contact with her grand daughter. My ex only allows me to visits with my baby girl for about 4 hours a week so my mom has only been able to see her grand daughter for a short while and its always supervised by my ex so bonding is a little akward with her sitting and watching. We have court hearing next week and I expect to leave with good news I will keep you all updated. :)', 'I guess all I can ask is that I can keep in touch with all of you. Everything is still tough on day to day basis with everything that is going on. I thank you and everyone else though for being so supportive of me. You can check my post its updated now. Thanks again :)', 'She did take a home Pregnancy test and it came up positive but she wants to be sure so she will be getting a blood test done. I am pretty sure she is. If there is a baby, and when it is born I will have a dna test done to make sure its mine. I am worried most about the baby. Thank you for your advice/help :)', 'PM your info and we will get this going. :)', 'When you are logged in on gmail to the Ventricular Dysfunction, Left there should be a heading that says chat. That is where google chat is. Ket me know if you see it and I will give you my gmail address.\r\rI am still around if you would Hyperactive behavior to talk :)', 'Yeah Xbox. Ill message the mods see if theyll do that for us. ', 'That made me laugh. I needed that. :)', 'I probably should make a new one too... but I am lazy :P', 'Hey there. It sounds Hyperactive behavior you are having a hard time and I am sorry to hear that. Know that there are people who care and you are not alone. I would give you a hug right now if I could. Feel free to pm if you want to talk. Remember all things are temporary. Just try and keep your chin up. ', 'Said it better than me. :)', 'Im trying too. Keep.reminding she the only person that matters here. It just hurts a lot. I dont know why. I knew one day itd happen. They didnt date long maybe a month or two... Why do you say it wont last? Thank you for replying to my post. It means a lot. ', 'Beautiful. I have thought this myself before. :)', 'Yeah Ill post another thread on Friday. Thanks for the help. ', 'That seems a tad long. Or is my thinking off? I just Hyperactive behavior to have it long enough that a fair amount of it hangs out of my pocket. If that makes sense...  ', 'Haha well I hope working on it makes you happy. Once your done and I have it I will show my brothers and sisters I am sure they will want one. If you want more orders that is lol. ', 'Good, I dont want to be. :)', 'Sweet! I will go through them and choose which. Youre awesome! :-D', 'He sounds Hyperactive behavior a good guy and you wont be able to ever get through to him that he didnt cause the problem. So maybe allow him to help however he can.I am sure you are a beautiful person. Ignore those people who say you are not. They fail to see the beauty inside. I am sure you are beautiful inside and out. I think your husband is proof of that. He obviously wanted you. You have to ignore those who do not support you and share your dreams. They dont understand. Surround yourself with those who do. They will push you to do great things. I would love you see things you have made! I care. Your husband cares. Your friends care.  ', 'You are welcome. Always here to chat :)', 'I am trying to look up info on it right now but cant find anything. I have talked to a few people about it but they dont think I can pursue anything Hyperactive behavior that. I hope I can do something at least know she is telling the truth for sure you know? If you find out anymore let me know! ', 'Anyone who is on board send me your gamer tag or steam ID and games you have so I can get an idea of where we are at. ', 'Im sorry to hear that. Its always hard to lose someone you care about. Im glad you got to know him though because Im sure even though you guys separated he changed your life for the better. Sorry for your loss my friend. ', 'Thank you that does help, by gp do you Irritable Mood general practitioner? Just want to make sure thats what you Irritable Mood. She actual has the same gp as me if thats what you Irritable Mood. I live in Nevada I dunno if you would be able to give me more info knowing that. Thank you again!', 'Oh I was just expecting one color for the symbols :) so thats perfect!No worries. Dont Stress over it. Enjoy time with your family. I hope you get the work on the house done without too much of a hassle. :)', 'Doesnt have to be Halo 4. Throw out ideas. Well make it work.', 'Exactly Hyperactive behavior that! I have faith in you. :) I shall get you 7 more then. Thank you for this. I hope Im not being a Ache. ', 'Hi redGPz. I am updated my post I know its been a long time but much has happened and I thought I would let you know. Thank you for caring :)', 'Unfortunately those kids and people are dealt a bad hand. That doesnt make them any less important than you. Each one of is important. Even them. I would love to help all in need but I cannot. I am doing what I can though. I hope you realize that even though others are suffering more out there that doesnt make you less important.  ', 'Try and find others who Hyperactive behavior what you Hyperactive behavior. I am sure there are local clubs that are interested in what you are. That is a great way to make friends. Do you go to school? If not take a class for fun and meet people that way.This is really silly to quote but in Batman. His dad says ""Why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up."" It is a really great quote because is true. It helps me to think back on this quote when I think I can no longer keeping pushing myself.Your site(s) are awesome! I have a daughter would you be able to make her a fuzz buddy or something? We would be both love that very much! ', 'I am 20, will be 21 in a couple months and she is 22. ', 'Very nice! Makes my blog look rather childish. Thank you for sharing with me. Brandy it is? Thanks. Message me if youd Hyperactive behavior. ', 'My goodness I butchered that lost post. Sorry about that. I will make sure she is safe. Thank you.', 'Hey I am down to talk :)\r\rDo you use google chat by chance? So we arent pming back and for fourth Hyperactive behavior crazy? If not that is okay though :)', 'Please talk to us. There are many of us here that want to help and know what problems you are working through. We will do whatever we can to help.\r\rI will even give you my gmail account so we can chat. ', 'Er... that was a bad choice of words. Not want I meant. Dont think it deserves a down vote though. I Ventricular Dysfunction, Left a positive message. ', 'Haters gonna hate. ', 'I by avatar I Irritable Mood the little icon that goes on my characters arm in the game. It would easily fit on 1 inch. My gamer tag is RustedRevolver. When you see it youll see what I Irritable Mood. :)', 'Haha did I make you blush? ;)', 'I want to stop talking with her, I know it hurts but it will help. I just want to make sure that the baby is safe and that I have a say for he/she when and if he/she comes into this world. So for now I will keep the communication to a minimum. Its hard not to see myself doing stuff without here right now, and really going out anywhere with her.\rThank you for your help. ', 'I am talking about Attention Deficit Disorder one for Blops zombies. Haha. If people want to PM gamertags and games I can make a spread sheet and see where were at.', 'I know how you feel. It is easy to become Numbness to things when life just seems to be weighing down on you. That is when you need to try hard to get away from things that may be causing the Stress and depression. Usually that will open up the room to breathe and see the sun more clear. Hmmm well I would hate for her to rip apart the fuzzy buddy. Do you make lanyards? I could use a new one. A Batman or Halo one would be awesome if you could do that.Sadly the market is really messed up Hyperactive behavior that. We are okay with having other countries make our clothes, food, tools, and what not for nothing so we can buy it for cheap. So its hard to compete in such a hostile and capitalistic nation.What if you could get a job and Hyperactive behavior a local restaurant or something? Something that is family oriented. They may care more to be there for its employees. I would be glad to show off my lanyard, if you can make one, and tell them to go check out your site to order stuff. Would that help?  ', 'So she went to the gp today and she is pregnant, she is going to make an appointment with the obgyn not sure when, hopefully soon. I feel so Ventricular Dysfunction, Left out with this and useless. ', 'I am pretty sure what that guy did would be considered discrimination. Maybe look into taking legal action if possible? Just a thought. I am sorry to hear that things arent working out well. I hope things will take a turn towards something better for you. Hold on buddy. ', 'Through rough patches always make sure to show respect and love to each other. I know that isnt exactly during that time but it can do wonders. I am not great with relationship advice myself because I am still young. 22, but I have always tried to remember I love that person when we are having troubles. I am sorry that things are hard right now. ', 'Hey, Thanks for replying. Im just having a tough time with my ex and mother of my daughter. I feel Hyperactive behavior she has played me this last semester to help with school and to buy things she wanted and is now done with me. I guess its my fault for thinking maybe we could be together still. It hurts to think of her with another guy. I try to not to let it get to me but it does. I dont know if that makes any sense. Im a mess right now.', 'I am sorry about the car situation. That really sucks. What about office jobs? Any of those in your town you think? Or maybe even front desk at a hotel?Oh I think you can make one. You seem very skilled. Mine would be batman or whatever but same thing as this one:http://www.etsy.com/listing/77361380/ready-to-ship-beautiful-lanyard-id-badge?ref=sr_gallery_12&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=fabric+lanyard&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade', 'Thank you Sparrow :) I updated my post to keep you guys up to date. Sorry I have been away so long. Lots has been going on. Thank you for caring :)', 'I guess all I can ask is for a friend. Thank you. ', 'Yes that is what I want!! :)So you are glad it will be difficult? I dont want to be a Ache :(', 'I know things are hard right now for you. Stay strong though. You have already come so far. Are you in school right now? There are many places to look for help. It may not be much but you may pm me anytime and just talk. I am sorry to hear about health and financial problems but I believe you can get past these. Is work hard to find right now where you live? Do you have any other family you can stay with? Stay strong. We care. Hold on to hope. ', 'That sounds awesome!! Thank you so much! Are you sure this isnt too much trouble?', 'Can you do the Legendary symbol? Not sure if you know what that is. Then if you go through my commendations on bungie you should be able to find the next ones. Rear Admiral, One Shot, Close Quarters. Then I also want my skull helmet symbol. Under achievements can you do the one called I see you favor a .45? ', 'It sounds Hyperactive behavior you may have seasonal affective disorder and the summer months are when your Mental Depression hits. Not uncommon but hard to deal with for sure Hyperactive behavior any form of Mental Depression is. Here is some info. Sorry I cannot offer more help and just remember things always get better :)\r\rhttp://www.mayoclinic.com/health/seasonal-affective-disorder/DS00195/DSECTION=symptoms', 'Hey \r\rI am doing alright. I updated my post today. Sorry I havent logged on in so long. Lots going on. :P How are you?', 'I will Attention Deficit Disorder you when I hop on my Xbox tonight :) ', 'What if I gave you my Gamertag for xbox live do you think you could look up my halo profile on bungie.net? Use my avatar for my character and achievements, and put them on the lanyard?', 'I can do that! I dont have any of the Attention Deficit Disorder ons though. ', 'I think you need to work on being independent. 16 is way to early to be engaged. You are just beginning to learn who you are. You dont know yourself well enough to Anxiety about a serious relationship. Take care of your family and enjoy being young. ', 'Youre right it very well could be. She did not show me the test results for this Pregnancy but I was with her for the last one. I had to pull that out of her today when we were talking over the phone. She is making things very difficult. This is one of those times you ask yourself whats the point anymore?', 'I dont have any advice but I do feel where you are coming from. There is much in my life I am Numbness to. While there others things I am hate so much and have a hard time bringing myself to do these things. Such is work. I hate my job and so much want to quit. I work the grave yard shift and no longer get to enjoy my day or not. My days bleed together and make it difficult to enjoy life anymore. I know this does not help with my out look on life. Maybe this is why I am Numbness to so much. I am going off on myself now. I apologize for that. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I am right there with you. Please dont hesitate to pm if you ever just need to talk. I know at times I need to and yet cant find anyone there to talk to. ', 'Mods said that wont endorse it. :( ', 'I am very glad you are smiling now. :)Thank you for being willing to make me a lanyard. I have wanted a new one for a long time. So this works out great. Yeah Halo probably will be hard to find. That is okay though :) ', 'It would matter greatly if you did. You are the only you on this planet. You are needed just as much as the next person. We all have lots of responsibilities and they can bring us down very quickly with their weight. Each day that you go through with these responsibilites you should be proud because you worked through them and succeded.If youd Hyperactive behavior to talk pm please :) ', 'Here is a link with a list of the medals with pictures: http://www.xforgery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10815Also you can see better pictures of the medals if you click on the large version button.My list:The medals are under weapons and style:AssassinBeat DownRevengeHeadshotUnder Spree:Be the BulletBuck WildSunday DriverI would still Hyperactive behavior my skull helmet.The Halo: ODST Legendary symbol which can found here: http://images.wikia.com/halo/images/3/3e/TLJ_Legendary_Difficulty_(ODST).pngThe Halo Reach Legenday symbol wich you already have a picture of.I hope this is what you wanted. I understand if you cant get it all on there. I want the last three for sure if they can be done. As for the rest of the list. It goes from favorite to least. ', 'I hope you can find guidance from it. ', 'Many times others are Irritable Mood is because they are not paying attention to you and are Stress about their own problems. They Irritable Mood nothing by it and I am sure if they knew you were down they would try very hard to help you or even just stop and listen. That being said some people are just cruel because they are. Those people you have to ignore and let them get to you. I am sure you still have some dreams that are alive but seem dead. Strive to achieve them. They may not be easily achieved but when you do get there it will feel great!You have a friend right here now. Me. We may not know each other but you are reaching out to me and others. That in a way makes us friends.Sit down and talk with your husband. Tell him it is not his fault and the best thing for him to do is be there for you.I am here to pm if you would Hyperactive behavior. Things get better I promise. ', 'I am down to pay $25. I would be the only one with that lanyard. :) Let me think of what I would want the lanyard to have on it and what color. :) Thank you!', 'Im down to chat. PM and Ill give you my gmail and we can talk on Google talk. :)', 'She hasnt told her bishop about anything that has happened and she hasnt told her family the whole truth and so it just worries me she would lie to me. Not that I didnt make my own mistakes but I am trying to take responsibilty for what I have done. I have told my parents everything that happened. I dunno, thank you for helping Sparrow. ', 'She told me she doesnt want me to have anything to do with the baby, which I know she cant get away with because I am the father. I am just Social fear she will lie and say she lost it but really have kept it. We werent using anything during the time she got pregnant. It does kinda, I work but I hate my job. I want to be a nurse and I am going to school for it but my job makes it difficult. She is my best friend, guess I should say was. So I did so much with her.\r\rThat makes me happy to hear :)', 'Sure Im down to talk. PM me :)']",Indicator
user-486,"['Sorry. I feel guilty for this post and was dreading anyone replying. I hate everyhting I do as Im doing it and maybe more after Ive done it. I am in a solipsistic bubble; I used to give people somehting to work with but now there is no point. I am not trying to get sympathy anymore Hyperactive behavior I often was from ten to 25; there is really no motive behind anything I say and all I can say is stuff about my broken brain and the trauma at ten. If I believed in a pleasant or even tolerable afterlife I would kill myself. Maybe there was once a time I attempted or mentioned Suicide to manipulate people for things Hyperactive behavior money to go drinking or buy drugs, or for someone to mother me, Hyperactive behavior my only real girlfriend did, but now I say it as I really have nothing to live for and havent since 2007, and nothing has happened since then except two bouts of happy Acute psychosis in 2008 and 2009 but now I cant even go floridly psychotic again as there is nothing Ventricular Dysfunction, Left of me. I manage to bring down or offend even a Suicide Watch subreddit, which is just another reason I shouldnt go on. Anyway, sorry for sounding Hyperactive behavior a prick but I have been one since twenty-five, six years ago; 10-25 I was a mixed bag with certain things going for me and it was heaven compared with my ""life"" for the last six years, and having zero thoughts, memory, self or reality is painful and pointless. I quote the same few figures in my head; mostly Richey Edwards from the Manic Street Preachers, and Ted Bundy, the serial killer. I am not a killer and am nothing Hyperactive behavior Edwards anymore, but I get comments Hyperactive behavior, ""Bundy went to his grave with his biggest fear come true: he died while being totally ignored,"" which applies to me, maybe, although being listened to wouldnt be any better and life and death are probably my twin biggest fears, so I am fucked. Sorry again, I shouldnt really try to lure people into my hell, but I have tried talking to professionals, former friends and family members, and I am out of ideas, to say the least. I dont want to go into what happened to my genitals, as no one really believes it, but it Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me inadequate and frigid, fucked up my head and devlopment, eventually killed me, and now, even forgetting the size, it has been horrible painful, constantly for six years. I am often mistaken for a ray of sunshine...', 'Hopefully this doesnt sound uncaring or off topic but my psyhcotic episodes in 2007 and 2009 were the last time I was happy, they were better than this changeless, painful Hell. I cant explain how these ""negative symptoms"" or ""Cotards"" are a million times worse than positive symptoms as I at least felt happy and special then and had a reality of some kind. Now I inhabit a dead universe, if that, and cant even describe my problems. I have been in hospital for four years now because I committed a serious crime and was declared psychotic. I cant even want to get out, even though I feel Hyperactive behavior escaping all the time as all animals would want to leave an environment they found persecutory and unsafe, even knowing anywhere else would be just as bad. I dont know, I contradict myself all day and night in conversations in my head and dont say anything meaningful to anyone as I have Aphasia and no thoughts or desire. My illness started out sexual in nature becasue of something that happened to my genitals and screwed up my libido. Now my penis is dead, disowned and painful, so therefore thats how I ""experience"" the universe. Sorry for hijacking this thread to complain about myself. A psychologist said I am the most self-obsessed person shes ever met, but its not that anymore as I have no self at all and can only complain about my problems as thats all I am aware of, but its more complex than that. Anyway, hope things work out well for you at this difficult time. ', 'I started smoking regularly at about 16/17 when I was already mildly psychotic, years before i was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Now I am an inpatient and 16/18 patients on my ward smoke. I think I am developing a lung problem as I have smoked about twenty years of cigs since dying existentially six years ago. My lungs feel ""cold"" and ""paralyzed"" and I struggle to breathe. If I was sane and alive and still had free will I would quit for health reasons, but all I have is my cigaretre breaks on the ward but, really, they dont help anymore so its not even self-medicating Hyperactive behavior it was till 2007. ']",Behavior
user-487,"['Being punished for no crime is not likely, him trying to help you might because he feels Hyperactive behavior he caused your emotional death. If you hate him then reject it. If not then accept, he might gain emotions and want you back then you will be happy again but dont keep your hopes up too Drug abuse and still look for that special someone since you were actually happy with a lover.', 'its alright, i may have a disorder from too much porn', 'For me that is what porn is for and women were for romance', 'I know that feeling i was rejected twice my life. No girl wanted me at the time. I got pissed at started punching bag training. Try working out to keep the mind occupied it will help with your predicament other than keeping you occupied.', 'I used Meetme and same thing all the women werent interested and the females gets tons of attention', 'then you have reason to live, them. Ask your self will they miss you when they die? If you say no then tell me why as you could just be thinking low of yourself.', 'No not really, i was there a year ago. When i read about WW3 being a possibility i was overjoyed because i would enlist then get shot in the head. I thought i was a lazy dumb fuck. A 19 year old Genital Diseases, Male virgin with 0% of getting laid. Screwing up in college and no job. I wanted to go to valhalla (norse afterlife). Believe me i been there. what got me out of it was getting a girl friend and realizing how much she loves me. You might need that as well. ', 'Honesty, she is not for you then, go find other beautiful women. You are 24, the odds are tremendous to find more virgin women. (If that is what you wanted).If she prefers a old saggy cock then let her, go find a women that will want you(not just sex).', 'then just think of your dad and how much he means to you. Killing your self will destroy him. Instead be the best you can be and make him proud. Think of this battle of emotions a great challenge to conquer and never admit defeat.', 'Yes smoking is bad because it can kill you and cause cancer. Well people died from stomach cancer yet there was no crusade to eating. Everything can kill you! People that doesnt see it are stupid, so ignore them. We are mortal so we are bound to die. You are alone because you smoke? ', 'dont Anxiety life gets tough, i know its cliche but do you have family and friends?', 'what music?', 'hey no problem, whenever you need someone to talk to just pm me :)']",Ideation
user-488,"['Ive had Mental Depression and severe Anxiety Mental Depression disorder for seven years, but Ive managed by with anti-depressants and therapy. The past two years I havent been able to afford therapy but still regularly take my medication. I battle with suicidal thoughts every day, whether its a good day or a bad. Some days theyre stronger than others, and the past few months those urges have been exacerbated by whats been going on. If that makes sense.', 'Ive battled with this urge for the past seven years. Ive done okay, seeing that Im still here. But the past four months have been absolute hell. Job is shit, I barely make any money to get by. My mother, my only living parent, almost died in a head on collision a few weeks ago and I was shaken by the idea of being alone. At the same time my mom was Nausea I found out my cat is dying and I have no money to help him. I was hospitalized for Pneumonia, Interstitial but I have no health insurance, so I owe $2,000 and bill collectors wont stop calling me. And Im dating/living with a man who makes all of my Mental Depression worse. He tells me Im Abnormal behavior and often chastises me for not being ""logical."" Tonight was one of those nights and I just saw the gun and... yeah. ', 'Im sorry you suffer from this as well. I wouldnt wish this on anyone.Two years. And yes, its because I vent to him. I treat him Hyperactive behavior a therapist when I shouldnt, but I guess I thought hed understand. Maybe I put too much on him, but when he calls me Abnormal behavior I feel Hyperactive behavior I am a lost cause. ']",Ideation
user-489,"['Hey, are you still there? How long have you had these thoughts?', 'Id ask about your mom. Like, what can she tell from that recording about your mom?', 'Check our sidebar, and let her know it wasnt her fault. If it comes down to it, you *will* have to have her interned, but that way she wont be able to Chest Pain herself anymore.', 'Yo, thats what were here for. I dont know if anyones already asked this, but have you told anyone about Suicide?', 'Brother, what happened? Where is the Ache coming from?', 'I might go to bed soon, but I will reply as soon as I get the chance.What career is that?', 'Hey, I dont know if its Irritable Mood of me to ask, but was your mom Hyperactive behavior that before your dad passed away? Or were you too young to remember?', 'Youre in.. highschool, correct?', 'No prob. Hopefully someone else will be able to answer.', '[Im not your mom, but I hope this helps](http://25.media.tumblr.com]/2916300da0dda1fe8c214b1cde52a3ec/tumblr_mznf1dS1An1rgi7odo1_400.gif)psst, click the link.', 'Would it be okay with you to write what your previous post said?', 'Multiplayers? ', 'No. Talk to your doctor about this if you havent. Thats step 1.', 'I think reddit has a transgender community. Might be worth checking out, see if their stories can help. And also, fuck your family in the ass with a cactus.  It shouldnt matter if youre transgender or not.', 'But if you go, there is also the chance youll get better.I gotta ask, what do you Irritable Mood it stays with you?', 'Hey, relax. I know, thats why I dont want you to Anxiety about the future. Have you ever talked to a doctor about these thoughts?', 'Basically, she knows her alcoholism is a huge problem, and no ones really bothered to mention it to her but you. Hence, she feels Hyperactive behavior shell only screw up your life.Better?', 'Of course youll have happy days. But if youre having thoughts of Suicide, you should totally tell your family. They should be understanding enough that theyll comfort you and maybe you can start looking for ways to get rid of those thoughts and be happy.', 'Hey, please tel me youre still there.', 'Yo, bitches aint shit, man. You cant base your value on someone else.', 'Got any ideas why?', 'Ah, see we were gonna have a mock one, just the two of us, but then cheated on me.', 'Sweet jebus. :O', 'I think you had the right intention, but your dad clearly isnt gonna be much help. Do you know someone else you can trust with this?', 'Of course. Even if you dont do the same things I do, I still want to show others theres another way.', 'Bro, I get the hippy part, but if theres a way you can get better, dont you think you should give it a try anyway?', 'I see you.', 'Dealing with Anxiety Mental Depression isnt easy to begin with, but being loaded with all this stuff in a short amount of time will make it worse. Im gad youre still replying to comments. That part about your mom telling you to cut is... there are no words. It hurts to even read it.', 'Youre probably Exhaustion of answering this, but whats wrong? How can I help?', 'Hey, Im gonna guess youre in.. Drug abuse school?', 'Bro, no girl is worth your life.  ', 'Thats odd, I thought the Scandinavian countries had better healthcare compared to other first world countries.', 'Well. Your doctor sucks then. A concussion is serious business, and you should definitely find someone willing to treat you.', 'I gotta ask. Are you a soldier?', 'I dont know, I think you might Hyperactive behavior it. Not spoiling anything, but keep an eye out for a book.', 'Whats going on? You dont have to be specific, but it sounds from what you wrote that you cant do something you loved because you cant stop thinking about Suicide.', 'Were here if you need to talk. Shoot me a PM or something.', 'You definitely have a future, if youve had a past. But when youre Depressed mood its hard to see into the future.', 'Have you considered it?', 'Did you tell your doctor you stopped? They can often find one that works for you.', 'Jesus fuck, sue that Disturbance in mood and put her in jail.', 'I Irritable Mood, can you really say for sure theyre better off without you?', 'Is his job doing something illegal?', 'Well, fuck em. We care about you op, we know suicidal thoughts arent a joke.', 'Im pretty sure if someone burned your house down, you wouldnt be happy either.', 'OP, tell me your story.', 'Try calking anyway. You might be surprised.', 'OP, I always say btches aint shit, but the same applies the other way. Like  intellechy said, feel what you need to feel, but please remember that break ups are really hard to deal with. Im glad to hear youre doing much better.', 'So I take it youve talked to them before about your Mental Depression?', 'Reminds me of one of my coworkers. She told me her brother in law passed away, and how her sister was always relying on him to do a lot of things.', 'Youre far more special than you think. Have you talked to anyone about this?', 'I cant, he lives in a different country than me.', 'Oh, dude, you should totally save me some pokemon for trading.', 'It depends. It may, and it may not. Whats going on, OP?', 'No, dude. Youre not a burden. You need help, just Hyperactive behavior any other human would. You should talk to them. Maybe see your doctor too.', 'Because rather than have a bullet in your head, we could find ways for you to get better. For example, talking to your doctor about your suicidal thoughts.', '[I keep this for just such an occasion.](http://i.imgur.com/TlAedBA.gif)', 'Im sorry, OP. If it means anything, Im glad youre still alive, and I hope you will get better. ', 'Honestly, I have no idea. I just wanted to remind you that you *can* be happy, I guess? You didnt have to point a gun at your head for that. ', 'Girl, I know how that feels, trust me. Break ups arent easy, but what youre experiencing is completely normal, ok?Itd be illogical to not miss anyone if you loved them but then separated. Or the more logical thing would be that there wasnt love involved.Right now, focus on yourself. You gotta love yourself in order for others to do the same. _Thats_ how you catch a nice guy.', 'But we do give a fuck about you. Many, actually.', 'That being said, its fucked up to tell your kid theyre a failure. ', 'Wait, did you actually sign to join?', 'I lost a friend to Suicide too, a few years back. Poor guy.A moment of silence for those who are gone, but not forgotten. ', 'I feel as if I should congratulate you on leaving an abusive relationship. A lot of people that should dont./r/stopsmoking sounds Hyperactive behavior a good place to start. Im not sure about coping mechanisms, but [this](http://examinedexistence.com/training-the-brain-how-to-break-bad-habits/) might give you something to think about.You could also ask /r/IWantToLearn how to break that habit.You are not a freak, but honestly, the guy you were with sounds Hyperactive behavior it.', 'Glad to hear that, OP! ', 'Have you told him that you want to kill yourself and why?', '[This](https://img0.etsystatic.com/000/0/6747686/il_fullxfull.316167852.jpg) is a succulent. Basically, theyre Hyperactive behavior aloe, they hold water and they come in these Abnormal behavior shapes and colors and theyre overall really pretty.', 'Best of luck!', 'Jebus Christ, man. Ive been cheated on, but I had to pretend everything was alright for her sake. Her mom was in the hospital at the time. But damn, youve had a lot to deal with in what.. 2 years? Does your mom ever tell you why she doesnt want treatment?', 'Any problems at your house between your parents? School?', 'Uh, I think if you drive a truck or operate machinery, you have to let your boss know, and you cant do much until you find out if and how it affects you.', 'Buzzards, the lot of them. Just waiting for your grandma to die.', 'Wow, OP, that was really worth reading! :D', 'Eh, fuck it, you know? A lot of adults dont have their shit together either. You just gotta start somewhere. You could apply, and if you get accepted, consider a gap year if you dont feel ready.', 'Im sorry about your dad. Having to go through that alone is probably more than most people can handle. But you have your brother, you know? You gotta stick together through this.', 'You do realize thats what were here for, right?Youre not a waste of time or waste of anything, ok? This subreddit exists for that very reason. We want you to know you matter. ', 'Like at parks, or barber schools, or homeless shelters?', 'I think you made the right choice, calling them. Now that you have the resources available, I hope you follow through with treatment.', 'Rotten? That guy was beyond decay. I hope his dick falls off.', 'I dont think the insulin will kill you, so might as well not try. Check out /r/raisedbynarcissists. People have a lot of the same stories as you.', 'I remember having those thoughts. All I can think of now is proving them wrong.', '>Pro-Suicide Comments including any explicit discussion of Suicide methodsYour post probably get taken down by the mods. I still want to know whats wrong though.', 'Who knows? Maybe it wont go away, but it might make it better. Have you thought of giving it a chance?', 'I wouldnt be able to tell you. I think your doctor would have to examine you a bit more in depth and then hed make a choice.', 'Sorry, I got back from classes. Whats a promotion gift?', 'I dont think employers are allowed to know about this kind of stuff unless it involved your work place.I kinda want to talk to sober you at some point. Im going to bed though.', 'Doing pretty good. Woke up a few hours ago, had breakfast, and Im procrastinating instead of doing work for my computer science class. Im playing pokemon Soul Silver too.', 'Thats okay, Im Nausea and I cant stop my runny nose or sneezing, hehe.', 'Im willing to talk.', 'Well, if you really dont have motivation, watching a movie isnt too much to ask, right?', 'Best of luck :)', 'And I can assume you dont want to tell anyone.', 'I dont want to give you advice, because thats the last thing you need. Your friend is lucky to have someone Hyperactive behavior you with him. Having a Nausea friend kinda puts a strain on others, since sometimes we feel Hyperactive behavior were responsible to be with them. Dont be afraid to talk to someone. Were here, and well be your friends, if youll let us.', 'Bro, bitches aint shit. If she doesnt love you, theres no point hanging on to her. Someone who deserves you will come along. And Hyperactive behavior /u/feeling_groovy said, its nothing to be ashamed of, its not life changing. Its just taking a few more minutes a day to look after yourself, Hyperactive behavior showering of combing your hair/', 'Tough life doesnt begin to describe yours, I guess.', 'You might want to test again. There is a possibility of a false positive, albeit small. ', 'Hey dude. Whats going on?', 'I think youre looking at the stupid people. ', 'Youre not an attention whore. Youre not worthless. ', 'Hey, buddy, you still there?', 'Were here. Maybe it wont Irritable Mood much, but were here.', 'When do you start seeing a therapist?', 'Can I get back to you tomorrow? Im just really Exhaustion and need some Hypersomnia.', 'Did any of it work?', '>Philosophical discussion about Suicide belongs in /r/suicidology or /r/philosophy.I dont know what you believe in, but I believe that we are conscious of ourselves.Why did you post here anyway? Youre not considering it just because a chair and you are made of atoms?', 'Wait, who the hell posts videos Hyperactive behavior that?', 'It kind of did. Being young and Depressed mood is not an easy situation. Or any age for that matter. Whats your life Hyperactive behavior?', 'Lots of reasons. Will any of them matter to you is the real question.', 'Whyd you turn down medication?', '[I dont know if this means much to you](http://25.media.tumblr.com/2916300da0dda1fe8c214b1cde52a3ec/tumblr_mznf1dS1An1rgi7odo1_400.gif), but I dont mind hugs.', 'Youre not letting anyone down. Suicidal thoughts are very real and very hard to deal with. If youre gonna tell someone, let that be a doctor.', 'We love you too. I dont know if youre still there, but I want to ask you something. Tell us everything about yourself. You seem to be set on going, and none of us can really stop you. The world needs to know whom theyre praying for.', 'And what do they think of your Mental Depression?', 'So fuck em. They want to make this world worse, thats their problem. Ill try my goddamn hardest to make it better.', '/r/socialskills. Basically, yes. Invites are sort of a big deal.', 'I think this is an excellent idea. I hope you follow through with it.', 'I hope it never gets to the point where thatll happen, OP. It sounds Hyperactive behavior youve been burnt before, many many times.', 'Hospitalization is short, but it is a part of a longer process of getting better.', 'I wish there was something I could do, op.', 'Hi!', 'Hi.', 'Hey. Whats going on?', 'Hm.. Im not sure if itll do much, but there must be a subreddit for finding you a job and a place to live. ', 'Explain. Im not sure I understand how we can fix it.', 'Hey, man, are you there?', 'Wait, no I made a mistake. Biotech, thats what he does.', 'Can you identify him? Calling the cops is a good start.', 'Have you been on medication before or been to a therapist?', 'I think you should tell them, this kind of stuff is important, not just to you but to them as well.', 'Well, yes, thats why its called life. It has a beginning and an end. What happened?', 'You have everything to look forward to. Youve tried on your own. But you dont have to do it alone. Go back to your doctor and try going on medication. It can help immensely.', 'Her being young means nothing, OP. You are beautiful, so who cares if  you are older? I seriously hope its just the alcohol talking. Confront him about it, if he doesnt tell you why, then fuck it, hes doesnt deserve you.', 'I have lived in 3 places in the past 8 years, 4 in the past 10.I dont think moving around will help though. I think going to a doctor might be the best idea.How do you feel about all those people?', 'Haha, you dont owe your mom shit. Move out with that money, follow your passion. ', '[Hug](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcfenmm5jg1rj6pi1o1_400.gif).Dont go. I know there are a lot of shit people around, but there are also good people.', 'Ask for reasons, dont give advice. Try to understand why they want to die, and when you understand, you can figure out what to do from there.', 'Well, losing weight would be a bad thing for her anyway. Shes still going through Mental Depression and she has an Anxiety Mental Depression disorder, so things are very shaky most of the time. Its been two years, but shes still here with us, and shes getting better, though she has her bad days too.', 'If you are Depressed mood, you should probably go see a doctor.I lost a friend to Suicide. She never said anything.nshe was just alone. I wish I could have done something, you know?We had this stupid fight and we never talked again. OP, please get to a doctor.', 'Have you considered watching porn?', 'Did your friend ever tell you why?', 'Okay, better phrasing, why people post and reply in amiugly if ""they themselves looked quite attractive""?', 'You know, you kinda made me think about my family. Im sorry about your loss, dude. No one should have to go through that.', 'Uh, I went to bed pretty late, so I was about an hour late for work. My boss was ok with it since I called beforehand. Hes a pretty cool guy. I live in New England, so were having a blizzard. He told me I could go home early, so I Ventricular Dysfunction, Left an hour before my usual time. It took me almost an hour to get home by bus (normally takes about 20-ish minutes to get home). ', 'Its more Hyperactive behavior, everyone has different reasons. You asked for a good one, but if we just give you the best we can come up with, and you dont find them good enough, then youll reach the conclusion that there *isnt* a reason to live, which is the opposite of what you wanted.', 'I dont know. But I would seriously tell your family. Hopefully, theyll be help you until you can get back on your feet. ', 'Not necessarily. There are more than one kind of medication, so usually you have to find on that works for you and has the least side effects.. I heard about St. Johns Wort too, but its not even close to being a licensed medication.', 'I wish there was something I could say. Im sorry, I dont know how to help.', 'OP, are you there?', 'You dont feel safe sharing with then. Thats understandable.As for your friends, thats understandable too. They probably thought it was their fault or something.', 'Anxiety will make it worse, so make sure he takes his medication, and let him know he didnt fuck up. Its not hit fault. Give him a hug and see if he can explain to the people about his Anxiety Mental Depression.', 'Do you think you could tell me how it would cause you more Ache?', 'Im sure that stranger will be happy to hear that. :) Congrats on passing the exam!', 'OP, please have her see a doctor. That and be there for her. Those are the best things you can do for her. Best of luck.', 'I hope youll keep taking your medications. Do you think something happened that set you off?', 'OP, you dont have to lose the baby. Its your choice. You are to care for that baby as much as yourself. ', 'Thats really stupid. Thats Hyperactive behavior going to a starving person and saying ""You cant have food, you wont live much longer anyway"".', 'Huh, havent really thought about that. Shes still very religious, but I think she finally accepted that Im not, I think.', 'OCD meds?', 'Youve lost all hope?', 'Hey OP. How long have you been on Zoloft?', 'No, I get it. It isnt the same. But if you need someone to listen, it shouldnt matter too much, right?', 'You know what? Fuck that guy then. And his girl.I know, I get it, you wish you werent even born to begin with. I was Hyperactive behavior that too. Youre Exhaustion of being alone. Im glad you reached out though. It takes a lot of courage.You should definitely try going on /r/needafriend. People are nice, theyre willing to talk about anything.', 'Why dont you want to take them?I have a friend Hyperactive behavior that. He has Mental Depression, but doesnt want medication. He says he feels Hyperactive behavior everyone would judge him. Is it the same for you?', 'Sticking to it is hard, but its great when you can see others struggling and whining that they dont have time to study and youre just Hyperactive behavior lololol', 'Im no expert, but Im sure Mental Depression doesnt normally go away by itself. Untreated, its more likely to get worse than better.OP, we dont forget. Trust me, Suicide or not,  you cant say well be unaffected.Have you talked to anyone about this?', 'And if you were unable to kill yourself?', 'Of course we care. If I may ask, whats wrong?', 'Does she believe the magical baby Jesus will cure her?', 'So do you want to get better or..?You mentioned your parents having clinical Mental Depression. If thats the case, your suicidal thoughts could be coming from that. Im no doctor, so you should definitely go back for mental evaluation from a professional.Dont lie to your doc. Hes not there to judge you. Hes there to help you.', 'Maybe not at first. But its the first step. A baby doesnt take a step and magically learn how to backflip. It takes times to walk, to run, to not smash his face Hyperactive behavior I did when I tried. If you asked for help, then that means you want to get better. You took the first step. Now you need to take the second and talk to a doctor.', 'Wait, so your parents recognize Mental Depression but not GAD? I think you should get to a doctor and he can give them proof, and you can work from there.', 'So youll be okay? I Irritable Mood, youre staying alive, right?', 'Well, you came to the right place if you want someone to listen.', 'Wait, I commented on this. Did the mods delete my post?', 'You should post this on /r/socialskills as well.If you dont mind me asking, are you somewhere in your 20s, 30s?', 'I was actually talking to someone who is FtM last night. She was kind of in the same boat, in the sense that she (or he, actually) couldnt his body. But it makes sense that it would aggravate Mental Depression, considering its kind of a limbo state.', 'OP, please tell me youre still there.', 'No, OP, we get it. Its hard having Anxiety Mental Depression and Mental Depression around religious people. But I can assure you, Jesus isnt gonna come down and just remove that part of you. Are there any mental health care professionals around you?', 'Seconded!', 'Seconded.', 'http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/13/being-married-to-a-person-with-Mental Depression-or-Bipolar Disorder-6-survival-tips/Give it a read together.', 'Would you be okay with a prostitute?', 'I thought that might be the case. I still get shit for not believing ""Jesus/God/x is the most important thing ever"".', 'Were you taking SSRIs?', 'Did it help?', 'Rabbits have evil looks? But theyre so fluffy and cuddly... D:If there is a store that sells plants nearby, I would recommend getting one, 10/10. They need little care, little water, plenty of sunlight, and youll have a nice beautiful plant.', '/r/raisedbynarcissists has a lot of similar stories.', 'Thats what were here for, man. There will be bad days, but you dont have to go through them alone.', 'Happy birthday, dude!', 'Im sorry to say, you know whats going in your mind, but thats still only your mind. 1 mind.They base what they know off many more minds. So if they tell you they know something, they have scientific proof behind it.That said, a good doctor doesnt just diagnose you and gives you pills. They have to know you well before they decide the course of action.', 'Hey, well keep you company. Stay, lets hang out for a while. We have cookies and stuff.', 'Go ahead, brother, take all the time you need.', 'I will! Although it might be more of a collection of stories than anything.', 'OP, no one should go through an experience Hyperactive behavior that. Im sorry.', 'Take a look at /r/raisedbynarcissists and tell me if some of those stories sound familiar.', 'Thats um.. really cynical. Are you confusing them with the people from the Jersey Shore and tv stuff? I can assure you, those people dont represent Americans. Just idiots in America.', 'We cant really trace you to being with. But why don;t you tell us about whats going on?', 'I hope it does. He tried d St. Johns Wort, I think, but it didnt work out.', 'You ever consider medication or therapy?', 'From someone whos lost a friend to Suicide, I feel for you.  However, I also want you to be aware of something. Hes a professional. His very job could be at stake here.I dont think he sees you as a time-consuming freak. I think more than anything, he could be feeling guilty about not being able to help without sticking his neck out. Some people are Hyperactive behavior that and thats not really their fault.One more thing I want to say that I want you to listen very carefully. Do not mistake love for compassion. Humans tend to misinterpret the word ""love"" more than your and youre. I do give a shit. I give plenty. And once you find a way that only I could benefit from that, I will stop commenting here.Someone may care about you and not feel Hyperactive behavior theyre in love with you, and inversely, someone can say they love you but their words are farther from the truth.', 'Im still glad you went. Treatment takes some time, but you can do it.', 'Relax, Ive long since gotten out. Thats why I came here. I want to help people feeling the same way.', 'Its still a start.', 'Yeah, you should get a 100m stick and get away from that guy.', 'So, were you taking medication before?', 'Valentines day isnt just about your SO. Its a day about love. Who knows, it might the best time to give your mom and brother a call.', 'tl;dr the commenter who said the mods took down his post probably also broke one of our rules at the sidebar.Most post dont get deleted, unless the account itself is. The only person who I know of that was ignored by the mods was an OP who wanted attention. He deleted his comment and account. It could be the same person with a different username.', 'Please, not yet. Dont listen to those assholes.', 'How about calling up a doctor?', 'So, if you dont mind me asking, how do your internal feelings affect your view of yourself as a transgender?', 'Glasses suck too, if you have a tiny nose Hyperactive behavior mine. I broke the nose pieces when I was trying to adjust them tonight. Hi, OP.', 'She does sound Hyperactive behavior a scumbag. Does she know about what youre going through?', ':) Best of luck!', 'Have they helped?', 'This whole subreddit is dedicated to people going through the same things as you. We need to make sure you know youre not alone, there are others who feel just as you do. ', ':) Best of luck.', 'Glad to hear that. Best of luck!', 'What country, if you dont mind me asking?', 'From our sidebar:Takking tips: http://redd.it/igh87RIsk assessment guide: http://redd.it/1c7nqfBest of luck. I know what its Hyperactive behavior to lose a friend to Suicide.', 'Okay. If thats the way its gotta be. I only wish I had at least known who you were.', 'Its not your fault, op. If it means anything, I hope you stay alive.', 'Aw shit, that reminds me that I did have a crappy junior year too. Got cheated on, and I wasnt doing well in most of my classes.', 'You gotta tell someone. Thats probably the best thing you can do for yourself.', 'If she loves you, you will make her happy, 4.5"" or not. No need to beat yourself up over it, okay?', 'Hey, youre not wasting our time. Youre not a waste of anything.', 'Please tell me youre still there.', 'I dont know if this means much, but were more than willing to listen to you.', 'I feel ya. I havent felt right in my own family, ever. So Im not sure how to tell them I want to ditch church for a mosque. By the way, since you said you liked writing, have you ever used a dip pen for it?', 'Understandable, but you wouldnt really be bothering me. I actually dont think youd be bothering anyone here. If its hard, we dont have to talk about it, but know that were here and were willing to listen.', 'What career, if you dont mind me asking?', 'Because some are known to make you prone to suicidal thoughts.', 'Which one would you say worked best?', 'Ooh, my friend Alex got me to watch Toradora. Its worth watching.', 'Not for me. Im very happy you replied.', 'Wait, what? Do they think you went to college to major in unicorn physiology?', 'She might hate you for it, but I think she needs to see someone. I get what the doctor means though, if she doesnt want to get better, she wont, no matter what they try.', 'Yo, get yourself treatment, both fr drugs and Mental Depression,', 'And Ill respect that. If you feel Hyperactive behavior talking sometime in the future, Ill be here.', 'No, the person in the next shift was actually very nice and tried to comfort her. She said she was just Anger at herself for making that mistake her first day in.', 'Youre not a bother. Wanna hang out, talk, maybe order a pizza?', 'I understand. I wouldnt want my private business online where a bunch of strangers can see.', 'I know some university up here in the northeast offer courses for biotechnology. I think your credits would most likely transfer, and so far everyone graduating from that course has gotten a job.', '> I know there are probably guys out there that can treat me better. I know my relationship is Megacolon, Toxic, and there is a lot of bad things that come with it but I love him and with the level of understanding he has with me, I doubt I will ever be able to find anyone Hyperactive behavior him.OP, you ever hear of something called ""Cognitive dissonance""?Besides. I want you to think about this. Do you really really believe with all your being, no room for doubt, that the kind of relationship you have now is the kind you want to have 10, 20, 50 years from now?', 'What about a mental health professional? Self-harming, Anxiety Mental Depression, and Mental Depression arent exactly something teenagers can handle by themselves.', 'Were here to listen, if that helps.', 'Nah, dont Anxiety about it.', 'I dont know. I thought the conversation turned too serious.', 'Take a deep breath. Or as many as you need.', 'Thats not quite how it works. You should definitely talk to them about this.', 'Dont say, of course you deserve it. You deserve all the nice things life has to offer, and dont you forget it, ok? :)', 'Were willing to listen.', 'Its good you were able to get away from your mom, but I think your best bet is couples therapy. ', 'Uh.. not sure. Hospital is usually the first choice.', 'Are any grief therapist available to you? Im sure we could find one on reddit, but in person works much better.', 'Ill ask the linux community here. Im too Exhaustion and the frustration isnt worth it. Im going to bed. :/', 'We cant really discuss Suicide methods. Wed be breaking our own rules. Do you need to talk?', 'You dont feel Hyperactive behavior going?', 'Wait, the doc doesnt trust you with pills?', 'Same, I dont even see people from my old school, and when I do, I try talking to them, but then its still eh. I Hyperactive behavior going off on my own, find a nice Sedated state place.', 'Hey, OP, were here for you.', 'Its okay, but we wouldnt give you a gun either.', 'I dont know about the woman you love, but if your Chest Pain someone close to you, you should apologize and make up. ', 'Show her this. Just tell her you want her to read something and show her this. Communication is the key to relationships, but speaking isnt the only way to do it.', ' You dont have to answer, but would it be ok for me to know what?', 'I gotta ask, have you been to a doctor and talked about this?', 'You ever think of telling them you feel suicidal? ', 'You still have hope. You can make this better. ', 'I thought your username seemed familiar. How about you try /r/selfimprovement?', 'I think you should tell someone close to you anyway.', 'How recently have you started on medication and therapy?', 'I cant upvote you enough! :D', 'It doesnt Chest Pain to ask anyway.', 'If you can get to a doctor, you should do that as soon as you can. Theyll be able to get yoiu medication to help with Bipolar Disorder.', 'Yeah, sex has that effect on our brains. It hooks us. But you gotta decide whats best for you, and that isnt necessarily what you want.', 'Were always happy to listen, if you feel comfortable enough to talk. But arenotme has a point. You need to take some time off to heal. Youve gone through a lot in a short period of time. It doesnt have to be by yourself either.', 'I havent heard anything from SRC in a while.', 'No, dont Anxiety about. Ramblings fine if it helps you express yourself. But you *should* tell your parents. Ive had a friend go after cutting really bad. Its good that you decided to look for help.', 'What Im saying is, theres no need to hide how youre feeling from your family.', 'I hope youre still here.', 'That was hardly the point, man. Its quite normal to be nervous about sex. It seems to me that what you want is companionship, not sex per se. Sex with your companion would just be a bonus. Am I correct?', 'I think you need a better doctor.', 'I think youre doing the right choice by going. Although taking a week off might not be a great idea unless you have booked your schedule for that week.', 'I think youre making the right choice. ', 'Yeah, that seems to be a huge problem unless youre constantly checking.', 'Youre wrong. In both accounts. We do want to help, and we do care. More than you realize.', 'This reminds me of what my friend was telling me about the west coast, California more specifically. My friends grandma split her arm (not sideways, literally the bone split) and she was in the hospital for hours, and no one took care of her, so now granny cant use her arm ever. She cant walk either. My friend was just telling me that where we live, (east coast) medical and mental care are better than other people have access to.  I cant help but think the doctors there have been using outdated information to diagnose and treat you.', 'Ah, well screw it, rather an imperfect child than a dead one. I think if you are over 18, they dont have to find out. ', 'Im really trying to come up with words about those people who cast you aside, but all I can think of is assholes.', 'Thats good. ', 'He looks so happy in the second picture. Hes so cute! <3', '> East endPardon me if i got it wrong, but would that be Engl",Supportive
user-490,"['She has Parkinsons. Im so sorry to hear that about your mom I cannot imagine. We always think we have endless time and we never do. I need to appreciate the time I have. What did your mom have?', 'Thank you for taking the time to reply I really appreciate you advice and tips. Thank you! An youre right Im sure it isnt the worst they could imagine for me- good point! Thank you again.', 'My mom knows and is Anxiety. I made an extremely halfhearted attempt when I was 20....looking back now I know it was just to get the attention of my parents. I was in college, and my university threatened to expel me if I did not sign a contract stating to see a psych, counselor weekly, group therepy weekly and I was not allowed to talk to friends about my bad feelings because I was distracting them from their studies... Everything but the last part was a blessing in disguise- so I have these coping skills-I n\xc3\xa9e to get in the habit of using them now that I am back home. As for the diagnosis...have not thought much about it though I suppose I should. I wish I could stay on the upbeat side of things but the darkness comes quickly. ', 'Thank you! I had to post on here again because things got dark but Im getting there', 'I make just enough money to get by- not a lot extra for doctors. I already pay $50 / session for my psych. And a lot of therapists dont take my insurance. I graduated from a school in Nebraska!', 'Thank you so much. Im feeling better this morning but I will Drug withdrawal syndrome again so I will be in touch, I really really appreciate this gesture', 'I agree and I totally used to be that way until I just stopped. Haha its terrible but now I just Crying Reflex, Abnormal', 'Unfortunately Ive had a bad experience with telling any kind of friend be it close friend or just you know a friend coworker about what happens I find that it makes them upset and eventually they leave....all it takes is two people to do that and I feel uncomfortable saying anything because I dont want to be a burden on the friend and I dont want them to have to try to fix me in some way. I lost my closest friend in college because of that- she felt that if I went to church more everything would be better. I appreciate you taking the time to listen to me, it makes a difference. And thank you, the promotion is huge and should be a joyous occasion. Being Bipolar Disorder sucks. Its a new diagnosis so Im not quite straightened out yet', 'Do you think so? I work in downtown chicago. I see lovebirds everywhere. I always want to yell at them. Why do you have what I want! What did I do to not deserve this! I keeping being stupid and joining dating sites. Thats Hyperactive behavior setting myself up for failure. Ah well. Are you feeling bad too? I wonder if it will go away. It sucks because I know deep down it will. Right now though that seems Hyperactive behavior such a long shot', 'I hope things get better for you!', 'Please anyone', 'Thank you again', 'Thats really good! That is one of my biggest regrets of college- I wish I would have rushed but I was Anxiety I wouldnt get matched with one an everyone would know! They seem Hyperactive behavior great communities ', 'Im back feeling terrible. Im not sure how to feel better anymore. I just want to be loved and it wont happen', 'Im sorry for asking that was ignorant of me :( sometimes I say the worst things', 'Thank you so much', 'What do you do to cope?', 'Thank you. My work has been awful! I promise Im trying to be positive but I keep getting knocked down. My boss embarrassed me in a meeting on Friday. I wanted to just walk out but I need to be level headed and responsible. I keep writing about everything and hope that will somehow help. Maybe it will. Coming on here helps. I Hyperactive behavior having the support even if its just from strangers. Thank you', 'I was okay when I first Ventricular Dysfunction, Left. Ive gained 100 pounds in 18 months. That makes everything so much worse. To top it off two girls at work laughed at me as I walked away from them. Mean girls at work are the absolute worst.', 'I get you. Im 24, no one would ever guess how truly sad I am. No one. The meds arent so bad I kinda wish they did Numbness everything but they dont. I watch the world go by. Idk why but the worst part is never being in love. I try very very hard. I even joined a co ed 16 in league to make friends but I come up empty. I have a really big heart but no one wants it. I get what you Irritable Mood about not being meant to live this life. I often find myself thinking that I am only here to make other people happy. I make them smile and laugh Hyperactive behavior Im a clown but its so dark on the inside. An I just want someone to see. I want someone to understand', 'I think just Mental Depression. I lost motivation to do anything. I just want things to get better', 'Every time I think enought about it I Crying Reflex, Abnormal and Crying Reflex, Abnormal. I think about it at least once a week sometimes more Hyperactive behavior this week. I must be down. Well I am down. It stinks because you cant really tell anyone. I was placed on psychiatric hold in college and it made me want to do it even more. Have you thought about seeking help inpatient? I always want to do that but I work full time and could never afford it on my own....let alone all the missed work. Its a hopeless position Im sure you know. I feel Hyperactive behavior in damned if I do and damned if I dont. I think more than anything I want help. But help costs money. Help requires time. I wish my future self could come and tell me it will be okay. But I cant even picture my future. I dont see anything.', 'I appreciate your concern and your reply. It is my family. I want to move far away but my mom is Nausea. If I Ventricular Dysfunction, Left or died no one would take care of her. Its not fair to her. But sometimes I wonder if someday things will get better for me? Im single. Guys use me then leave every time...so I just kinda gave up. I went to college out of state so my friends are spread across the country. I had a friend here since we were 9, but a few months back she told me I was too sensitive to be around. I was recently diagnosed as Bipolar Disorder. I try not to be sensitive, but sometimes I cannot help it. I just want things to get better. I just got a big promotion this week. I was so excited. I tried telling my dad about it and he walked out of the house mid sentence. I was getting through Fathers Day well enough until my sister called my mom...she has a hard of hearing so her volume was turned up. She said its hard to be around me because I smell bad. I spent all day at her house yesterday (literally 11 am to 1130 pm) cleaning her house and helping babysit her one week old so she could Hypersomnia and go to a wedding. Just for her to complain. It sucks. I know Im overreacting so I understand if this post is just obnoxious. I tried killing myself when I was a sophomore in college because my dad refused to speak with me because I wouldnt play intermural (sp?) basketball and I was deep in Mental Depression as it was. I know how dark it can get. I know what its Hyperactive behavior to be a mental patient. I thought maybe, foolishly, my dad would love me after that. It just made him even more angry. Itll be fine Im sure. Just Nausea of everything.']",Attempt
user-491,"['Hey man, dont be so hard on yourself, it is never black or white. Sometimes life sucks. Sometimes nothing goes your way. Whatever the situation is, its not permanent. I have been down the dark and hopeless paths myself. I try to remember the good things, no matter how insignificant. A friendly greeting, A good joke, Something nice I did, whatever.Good luck stranger.', 'I have been through some dark times myself. If there was only one advice I could give you, it would be to love yourself with all your failures and flaws. As long as you love yourself for a reason, it is something that can go away. It must be completely unconditional, even if you dont get one single thing right, you can still love yourself.\r\rInternet is a great way to talk to someone without needing to trust them. I have no idea who you are but i care for you anyway.', 'I am lucky that way. I dont know how I could have made it without them. Im not so sure I would have. I certainly wouldnt be who I am today.', 'You gave it your best shot.  Obviously you are better of without someone who treats you Hyperactive behavior that. No one deserves to be treated that way. She will probably behave in the same way towards the other guy sooner or later.It sucks being cheated on, but it doesnt say anything about you, dont forget that. Keep your head up, she is the one that should be ashamed of herself.Try to hang out with your friend even if you dont feel Hyperactive behavior it, being alone gives you to much time to think destructive thoughts. Being with friends helps you get things in perspective.', 'If your current therapist doesnt work out for you, try a different one.', 'Well, death is certain, you *will* die sooner or later. The question is how much nice things you can experience before that.It sounds Hyperactive behavior you have come to the realisation that the life you have lived so far isnt what you want. I think that is a good thing because now you have the opportunity to find out what you *do* want. Why not challenge yourself to do things differently, its not Hyperactive behavior you have anything to lose.Something that helped me find my way a bit more was to meet new kinds of people and expose myself to new kinds of ideas. I had a hard time realising that the world is never black and white. I was shy and insecure, I hated that, so I forced myself to behave Hyperactive behavior the person I wanted to be. In the end it worked. I think it would for you to if you can find a little piece of hope in yourself.', 'It sounds Hyperactive behavior you are stuck in a bad downwards though-spiral. We all fuck up from time to time. What would you say if your best friend or someone in your family was in the same situation? Would you recommend Suicide as the best solution? This to shall pass.', 'The only thing keeping you down is your fear. Nothing else.I came to approximately the same conclusion as yourself. My life sucks and as it is headed it will continue to suck until I die. That was the moment I realised that I should take each and every chance i got. The default option is intolerable so there was nothing to lose. To me it seems Hyperactive behavior you are in the same situation. You are not happy with who you are and not happy with your situation.Society told you what to do and you did it, so now what? I think it is time to start question everything and try to figure out what YOU want. Who do you want to be? (Yes please answer that).', 'how did the meditation/therapy go?']",Supportive
user-492,"['I dont really know to be honest..only made an account on here Hyperactive behavior 30 minutes ago. Possible to PM at all then sort something a little easier out?', 'Know that feel..just gotta hope..Time, apparently, will make it much better and easier to cope.Just good luck and Im sorry really.', 'Going through the exact same problem at the moment buddy.No easy way out of it, just have to try your u pmost to be with her every step of the way. Text her, skype when you can. Just show your support and that theres someone out there that cares, you know?As to your reply to the other persons comment, have you simply told her how great she is? May go a long way in helping her self esteem (Which is probably rather low right now)', 'Hey :)Sorry to hear youre doing badly, but the Ache of the relationship will eventually fade. I can promise you that. We have all had the experience of loosing a loved one. If you want to chat and whatnot, give me a shout.Whatever you decide to do, I hope you end up happy from it.Will be thinking about you and wishing you well.Elzithxxxxx', 'We all remember the bad over the good. But Im sure your friends would stand by you if you needed them. As to your parents..well..youre not going to have to be around them forever. So, hang on and youll be free within a few years I would of thought. Dont let them win, eh?', 'Are you sure they would kick you out? Theyre your family, there is so very little that they could not/would not forgive. My understanding is that your friend wants you too tell them, but you want to keep quiet, is why youre being driven apart? At the end of the day, its your choice..dont let someone else push you into something/If telling someone means you had to kill yourself..well..we all have our secrets that will never see the light of day. Some things just arent trouble they would cause.Good luck with it allElzith.', 'If its something you Anxiety about, or its a problem, then its no small. We all have different worries. Something that hurts someone else, may Irritable Mood a minor annoyance to you.I have seen people break from, to my mind, small issues. Yet others go on with things that would have me huddled in a corner, crying my eyes out.Different things hit us in different ways. If its a problem, then its a problem. I do not see there being a severity in the actual problem, more how it affects you. So..try to stop worrying it over it being a Anxiety <3 Accept it. Then solutions.', 'Its actually meant to effect women more than men. Statistically it does anyway. Though I think this is much more likely from men simply dont tell anyone about it or go and get help..cause..you know..weakness and all     (-_-) Though it also manifests differently. Women are more likely to attempt suicide, whilst men are more likely to succeed.  Though I think that comes down to method preferences rather than will.', 'A new start surely? 18..an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult now (Or by UK standards anyway, dunno where you are) Decided to keep on living and all..sounds to be something pretty happy about.Either way, good to see youre still about. Just caught the end of that last post, which was not exactly..cheerful conversation material (May or may not of shed a tear >.> <.<) Either way, welcome back.', 'twas mine as well ^^ Happy Birthday', 'Hey, know what that is Hyperactive behavior..loosing the one you love and all.Happy to chat, will write something out a little more detailed in a sec', 'Sorry I did not reply sooner. And I have no idea how you can make those assumptions just from that post, but thanks I suppose. <31) Yeah, but they dont have a clue as to the extent of it2) Im not, no. I did for a while but I really did not find it helpful', 'Hey there!""Ive always been a terrible person. I always try to help everyone but I just end up Depressed mood them. ""Not sure how to quote :3Anyway! To my mind and most anyone else, its the trying that helps. We all Chest Pain people, its just one of those things. Death and taxes and all that. But those of us that try to do better by them and continue trying to make the world a better place..well..theyre the best of us. No question about that.  ""I really wanted to be able to end everyones suffering, not just my own. So this is really all for them, so they can be happy again.""Who is it that will be better off? Your friends do not know how to handle it, your boyfriend cares but does not know how he can help. Your family..well..theyre your family. They love you and will stand by you, no matter what. Nobody will be better off you are gone. Nobody.It takes a rare person to go out of there way for others. Its beyond tragic that the world sees fit to Chest Pain us so. But beyond amazing that other people, with their own problems and issues, will help other people also suffering.Whatever you decide, people will be thinking about you and if you do decide to go through with it, the world will miss you terribly. Sorry if Im rambling..but..yeah. Enough now I suppose ^^', 'Hello again! Good to see youre still up and kicking.Couple of things1) Just phone her. Having decided that its time to go on your way, what is there to loose? Tell her what you told me, at least to set the record straight. 2) If youre not happy with doing it, then ask a friend or family member.3) Yeah, going to have to say it. Dont kill yourself, eh? Still here, so there must be something holding onto you.Again, everyone here is telling you the same thing, You fucked up, but that you actually realize that and feel Hyperactive behavior shit over it, is a good thing. So let it be, move on with your life. You have had enough atonement for it all. But killing yourself will crush her. And yes she will find out as the police will let your loved ones know the cause of your death. Having posted this, it wont be hard for them to find her. It will crush her big time, as she will blame herself. This I can promise you.Whatever you settle on, I hope you end up somewhere better than where you are now.Take careElzith.', 'Not the same for everyone. Many people say it goes away, just have to give it time. Though the majority of people I have spoken to all say the same thing. Treatable but not curable.', 'It really depends on what sort of therapy youre doing.Some will just sit and listen whilst they ask you questions about your life. Some will offer advice and try come up with solutions with you. Some a mixture of both.It really just comes down to the person. Whatever happens, theyre not just going to brush you off :S Promise.Hope things get better. Feel free to reply/message if you want too hear more about what goes on (Had 6 sessions, finished them a while back)', 'I have nothing to live for really, apart from to help others, so can relate. Will most likely get buried..but..will take it as a challenge ^^1) Stopped giving a shit. Dont want to live anymore? Then fear simply does not exist anymore. Can do anything you Hyperactive behavior without caring for the consequences to yourself. Skydiving, safarii, something fun ^^2) Cause fuck the world. Cause fuck them for driving someone down so very far.3) Contribute. Dunno if youre that sorta person, but art..music..dance, could do something through that.4) Never know, cant get any worse so has to get better5) To set an example. At the end of the day, who else is going to try and make the world a better place so others do not have to suffer through the same shit as you did, if you yourself just give up and let it all lay.And..thats all I have right now', 'Well then, there we go ^^ Glad youre feeling better.', 'Spend time with her when she gets back. Thats really all I can offer as help..just make sure she is not alone -at all- when she gets back (Or as much as possible) I can promise you that knowing someone is there for her, someone that cares will be a big help.When she does go to Uni, is there any chance you can visit her rather frequently?', 'I can tell you to seek help..that Suicide is not the right thing to do and all, that life will get better and all. And it will.But if youre making this as a rational decision, I dont feel there is anything I can do..which Im sorry for. Im sorry for whatever it is that has happened to you, just wish you had had someone there to help you through .If you want somebody to talk to, about this or just about the weather, give me a shout.', 'Rather than going way, I found it just becomes..normal. I cant remember what being happy is even Hyperactive behavior any more, just get sort of Numbness to the effects at the end of the day I suppose.', 'I doubt it. If you manage to drink the whole thing (I take it youre young and not used to drink) which would be next to impossible, you will just need to get your stomach pumped from alcohol poisoning (Which aint fun..trust me)It;s much more likely you would just throw up or collapse before that point. Besides, its really not worth it.', 'I cant possibly see this as a good idea..one of the main reasons people love this subreddit is, to my mind, they may talk and get things off their chest without fear of reprisal.Who has the right to force someone to carry on? Their life, their decision.']",Supportive
user-493,"['in all honesty, though it was literally prison, and nobody there was anything Hyperactive behavior me. i wish i had never Ventricular Dysfunction, Left. it made me stronger and who i am today and i dont regret it for one minute', 'Message me. Ive been to my fair share of inpatient hospitals, also i take kpin too lol ', 'i dont really have much to say, but, the way you describe yourself. thats how i was (and still am on occasion) you just need a legitimate motivation. i would say get a pet, a life that depends on you, if you feel up to it at least. you show the will to force yourself to do stuff so you havent given in yet. in my experience getting a dog was the only reason i got up in the morning, did anything, got outside, it was the only reason i existed. to keep this animal alive, my soul purpose, then someone will stumble in front of you. you will find a person that your life can be dedicated to as well as your animal. and hopefully, eventually, you can care about yourself too. ', 'Im here all night, pm me', 'been held in a nyc one that was closer to prison for around 45 days, i feel you man, i feel you.', 'you dont have to feel hopeless, it feels Hyperactive behavior it, but you dont. life is hard, youre completely right, but every once and a while things happen that make the shitpool known as life worth swimming in. you dont really give much to go off of but PM me so we can talk.', 'Nature + dog = pure bliss. Just the look on mines face when we run is enough to change my mood', 'Sorry man i just wrote out what i was thinking, we should be worrying about people tho instead of wasting time on technicalities', 'Then just deal with this shit for your dog until you find something more. Also what kinda dog you got', 'You seriously do have a gift, the way that you express yourself through text is better than anyone ive ever met, maybe that can be your saving grace, or honestly i just got a dog, knowing that something else has an un-ending love for me and depends on me is what kept me out of the quicksand for long enough to find another way out. Ultimately as you implied at the end i have no say in things, such is life, the only thing in life that we have total control over is ourselves. And you have more fight in you than many others, you can articulate brilliantly (and you do) that you dont want this shit. But you are showing that you still have some fight Ventricular Dysfunction, Left in you and wil to go on, just by posting, even if you dont realize it. You can only change yourself, nobody else can, you have to be the one to pull yourself out of the quicksand, all of the spectators yelling to you do jack shit. It pisses me off when someone is on the brink and other people can only manage a ""dont do it"" or ""keep fighting"" as if we havent heard it 1 million times already. Im not going to pull you out of that sand, you are, not because i said to but because you truely wanted to. At some point in your life you have truely wanted it, maybe it is now as you stare death in his cold dark face, but you still have to escape that quicksand. With or without you there is going to be a tomorrow, its up to you whether you want that day to be brighter by your presence or darker by your absence. ', 'They really dont call them mans best friend for nothing haha. Holy shit that is one cute dog tho based on the breeds. I have a malamute who i love to death, is there a big ass forest or reservation near you where you can walk your dog? I find that it just takes off that edge to be with just your best friend and nature']",Indicator
user-494,"['Be her better half. You have to put yourself in her situation to understand what you have to do. I was once the depressed/suicidal friend and I had no one. Youll have to be there for her just about all the time so she doesnt feel alone. Even if you think the situation isnt that serious, it is for her and it should be for you too. Youre being a great friend and an amazing human being for not just leaving her to deal with it on her own.', '""Saying someone cant be sad because someone may have it worse is Hyperactive behavior saying that you cant be happy because someone has it better.""Sometimes you have to distance yourself from the people who only talk down on you.']",Supportive
user-495,"['Its not the end, it just feels that way. Or at least, it doesnt have to be. You have an entire lifetime to fix these things and while I personally have never bought into the idea that what doesnt kill you makes you stronger, I do believe that you dont have to let it define you. Another life is possible, I promise. ', 'Hes in holland, 911 isnt universal unfortunately.', 'You sound Hyperactive behavior an incredibly smart, eloquent young man, who has the potential to do a lot of really amazing things both for himself and in the world, which is where you need to spend more time. I know its tempting to do nothing but Hypersomnia and stay away from people and do nothing - you should avoid doing this. If your thoughts are scaring you, you need to be doing things that give you a feeling of control over the situation and that take you out of your head. Ultimately, if you want to completely change the situation and take control of it, tell your parents. If they disown you, they disown you, if they dont, they dont but youre taking away the great unknown, immaterial punishment waiting to come Drug withdrawal syndrome down. Tell them about your grades, about how its affecting you, and take it from there. As a side note, my brother aced Drug abuse school and college and I was the drop out, today I have an incredibly succesful, fairly prestigious carreer. Life has honestly just only begun for you and you have no idea where its going to take you. Buy the ticket. Take the ride. As someone smarter than me once said. ', 'You sound Hyperactive behavior an incredibly strong person, all I can do is listen, but please know that Im doing that. Its ok to feel weak, youve been strong for so long, through so much, there is no shame or Guilt in the way that youre feeling. I know its hard to see, but if anything, you should be proud of the fact that youre here, and youre still going. Please stay. ', 'I imagine you Hyperactive behavior writing, keep doing it, get someone to read it - write some more, put it out there. There is meaning and purpose in all that we do, sometimes we just need to look hard to find it. I can see that it hurts, Im sorry that it does. People are reading and listening to you. ', 'People change their lives every single day. Where you are right now can be the end of a bad story or the start of a good one. You need to get off the drugs, and thats going to be hard but even though I do not know you, the remorse you show for your actions speaks to some kind of inner strength. You are beating the hell out of yourself, I doubt anyone in your family or anyone you know would speak about you in these terms. Be gentler with yourself. You might have problems but this isnt the solution. ', 'Its a pleasure, I wish you the best. ', 'I hear you. It sounds to me Hyperactive behavior you feel Hyperactive behavior you have little to no control over your life, but this isnt true. You do control your life, you just need to start seeing that again. Start slowly and clean up your place. Take note of what youre eating and try to change it, slowly, to something more healthy. Little things that you have control over will, slowly, turn into big things. Dont give up. There are people that love you and you have no idea what role you still have to play in this world.', 'Im sitting here in Cape Town South Africa and the night is beautiful and warm. Theyve lit up the mountain tonight. Its a beautiful place and one that I think everyone should see. If youd Hyperactive behavior to have the chance to see it or experience any of the millions of other beautiful things this life has to offer, you need to pick up the phone right now and either dial 911 or your countrys local emergency hotline, or a friend. Dont end your story Hyperactive behavior this. Pick up the phone. ', 'Fair enough, just wanted to suggest it and if its helping you and serving a purpose in your life, more power to you.', 'You are right to be afraid of losing your loved ones, for them, call an ambulance NOW.', 'Out of interest, have you considered that it might play a part in your depression? I smoked every day for 12 years, recently stopped - and the world is very different, I do a million more things than I ever did, all of which seem to give me a sense of purpose and meaning. Try checking out /r/leaves - if you dont feel that way, no harm, no foul, just my 2 cents. ', 'Talk to someone.', 'Always a pleasure :)', 'Cocaine/alcohol/drugs will fuck with your sense of self, this isnt you - this is the chemicals in your brain, your tattoo is the kind of tattoo someone whos strong gets, be strong and pick up the phone. ', 'I dont know what they said because theyve deleted it but I just want you to know that you sound Hyperactive behavior a strong person considering all youve been through, please stay that way.', 'Go to your neighbours, tell them you feel incredibly Nausea and need an ambulance.', 'Thanks for sticking around, I dont know you but Ive been worried about you since we stopped hearing from you.', 'I think if you make it clear that youre worried about getting to that place, rather than being in that place, you shouldnt have to Anxiety about going to a hospital and if you are in that place, then a hospital and being surrounded by people who are trying to help you, is not a bad situation to be in, or at least, its a better situation than you could be in. Enjoy your book and when youre done or you get bored, dont dissapear inside your head again, do something else. Its a pleasure. ', 'No youre not. You think youre done but things change every single day, maybe not in a way you can notice, but they do. And when things change, they will change the way you feel. There are a million things you still have to experience and I do not know you, but I believe you would enjoy experiencing them. ', 'Yes, you should talk to them, anyone, about these thoughts. I have no doubt in my mind that people love you and care about you and would desperately want to talk to you if they knew this is how youre feeling. I would also strongly advise you to get out of your head a little more. When the thoughts start, go and do something else, build a model airplane, watch a movie, read a book, call someone - the solution is not in your head, its in the world and you need to be in it, experiencing it, to see that. ', 'And the fact that you say ""I guess"" means youre not sure - this is a permanent solution to what can be a temporary problem.']",Supportive
user-496,"['It was a skype call, but she ended it and Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me with "" Good night . See you on the other side, Jordan. But Ill be in hell and youll be in heaven.""    She wont respond to me or my friend. Im trying to get more info than I have, scouring Phobia, Social networks and the like, but thats failed. Does anyone know where I can see rape charges in New Jersey? Her father was a rapist, and if I can find that, then I could find her last name and call 911 or a Suicide hotline and they could maybe find her.', 'Yes, she is. Sorry for the late update. I thoght I had sent one a while ago but it must have glitched.', 'I have my friend who was suicidal once talking to her.  I know nothing more than the fact she lives in NJ, so unfortunately I cant call the police, and her doctor isnt an option. Shes an internet friend, but Ive known her for over a year now.', 'I will. Thanks for the help, everyone.', 'Yes, she is. Shes gone from ""See you on the other side, Jordan."" to ""I wont be able to get on twitter for a long time, but this isnt the last time Ill see you."" and making a long-term plan so that we can talk. The reason she was going to kill herself is because she was suicidal already, but then her mother found a drawing of Katie killing herself with Anger words about her mother scrawled on it, and her mom is really mad, and shes taking away Phobia, Social networks. A very bad idea considering most of her friends are online. Her three IRL best friends have all killed themselves.    Shes said shes going to kill herself a few times just for attention, but that wasnt it this time.     And to anybody who said to call the police, even though Ive known her for upwards of a year, I dont know anything more than her first name and her state. I attempted to use  a program called Creepy to find out, it basically compiles information visible to anyone. You could go though every bit of someones tweets and find more info. But, Creepy only takes five minutes. If they have locations turned on, it shows you where that tweet was sent from. Unfortunately, shes too smart and has them turned off, or else I would have. ', 'In the end, she didnt do it. She is alive today, but still suicidal. ', 'UPDATE:  She drew a picture of her committing Suicide with Anger notes to her mother that werent meant to be seen, and they were. Apparently her mother is ""Anger""']",Indicator
user-497,"['That sounds really weird.Maybe you were Distractibility with something?', 'It sounds Hyperactive behavior youve struggled to keep your life together, and for a long time. But despite the bumps and obstacles, you managed to get pass or go straight through them. And even when you felt Hyperactive behavior giving up, you got back up and kept going. Thats a very nice thing to hear! :DI honestly hope that things go more smoothly than what you have been through. Good luck and enjoy life as you want it to be. And thanks for posting this too. Im sure theres someone out there who needed to hear this. ', 'Hey, you still here? Dont go man, its not worth it.', 'You dont force someone to go, you *persuade*. If you know them very well, get them to trust you a lot. (Like if you fall backwards blindfolded, Ill catch you 100%) Once they trust you, try to persuade that professional help is the best thing they can do to get help and comfort them while persuading. ', 'What did you do to ""disappoint"" your family? Even so, its family. Theyre supposed to love you no matter what. Did you ask them if they think you are a disappointment or do you just assume? ', 'Im not joking, you literally just said what I did 30 minutes ago. I was laying down, hanging around with my friends, and playing pokemon. Now the easy way is actually not bad. But we dont call it that. We call it the *smart* way. If you can do something in less steps and still receive the same outcome, why do extra? However, we cant do that because as you know, were both struggling to pass our classes. Therefore, we have to put more effort than everyone else did. Also, Im sure you know theres a balance between Phobia, Social life and school work. You need to socially interact with people, because connections are important in daily lives. However, school work is necessary to go to college and actually have a stable job. Right now, we both are not doing so well on balancing. Its more Hyperactive behavior ""one or the other"" and Hyperactive behavior normal people, we choose the more relaxing one. Dont feel bad about yourself. People too have the same struggles as you have (Hyperactive behavior me) and all our minds look into the idea of Suicide. Dont invalidate your feelings. The problem is not feeling this way, but how you go about fixing it. So sure the aftermath of rape, or even the sufferers of diseases are very bad, and I agree its worse than our problems right now. But what we feel and our reasons are still valid. And so, its fine to talk about your feelings. Think about it. Im actually grateful that you allowed me to listen to your thoughts because that allowed me to say what Im feeling. (I dont feel much better, but its still a little and it counts.) Also, thats why Reddit allows throwaways. If you want my advice, set aside your thoughts of Suicide for now, and start studying and focusing for the exam more than you ever done in your life. Do what you can, and try to do more than that. (Dont think about it too much. I know thats impossible, but it should be a goal to reach and since its impossible, youll go very far.)And if you ever have those thoughts of Suicide after you see that exam, Sedated state down and think or just talk to me again. I have never actually failed a class, but some people do and it just happens. But life still goes on. (Sorry, a bit cheesy) This happens to some, but they somehow manage to get pass it and strive very Drug abuse.Again, Ive never failed a class (technically) and so I dont know how they do that. But Im not going to find out and you should think the same. I cant see the future, but were almost done and we should finish with 110% effort. (What do we have Ventricular Dysfunction, Left to lose?) BTW: I write a lot because I just want to be clear as possible. I actually dont write that much in my English class. (or in any class lol)', 'WAT? Honestly Im so jealous right now for two reasons lol.1. Youre skinny. Im so fat right now and I cant do anything about it.2. You got into an university. Most people are lucky enough to get into 1 university.Now, you should proud of who you are. Who cares about anyone else? If you hang around Megacolon, Toxic people, theyre only going to make you Nausea. There are a lot of different people around you. Ill take Reddit for an example. You say that ""My ""smarts"" are irrelevant to the masses, who only care about partying and having fun."" But when you say ""masses"", that includes Reddit and look at the comments! There are all sorts of people who care about your problems and are willing to help you to get through them. Most do care about having fun, but thats not the only thing. If you open up a bit and try to find some people that you have similar interests to, youll see that life is not that bad. Again, from what you said, I dont think you are bad person at all. If you ever need a person to talk to, Im here. ', 'Ok you are right. Actually, my doctor just said that I was going through Mental Depression, but I dont see me being Depressed mood so....Lets try this. Hows your day? Maybe if you tell me about your day, maybe well see something. Keep in mind, even though I may be clueless to some things, Im still trying to help you. ', 'Im not trying to encourage Suicide or anything, but a driving ""accident"" could put others people in danger as well as you. Theyre innocent, so I dont think harming innocent people is a good idea. (Just saying)Im basically Hyperactive behavior you, except Im forced to work, I dont drink, and Im younger than you. Honestly, lying on the couch and lurking on Reddit sounds really nice right now. Life is going way too fast and is so demanding of you. It does tire you out. However, I cant because school and finals and all. Theres really no time for any of this. Furthermore, I also fake all the time. I always try to be the typical ""friendly guy"" while getting along with the people who Hyperactive behavior to see Hitler as ""misunderstood"" and etc. But really, Im more of a Depressed mood, pessimistic guy. Seriously, I prefer being alone and I do believe people helping me is a burden on their part. They say its fine, but theyre essentially taking their valuable time for me and I cant always give back and you just feel guilty.To simplify, Im Hyperactive behavior you in some ways. The constant movements in life are way too rushed and theres never time to stop and think because of our society today. Now please talk to a psychiatrist. I currently am going to one and so should you. It is their job to talk and help others, and Im sure they will be glad to talk to you. If you just want to talk to someone, go to [7 cups of tea] (https://www.7cupsoftea.com/) Basically, theres someone there to talk to you and you dont meet face to face. Ive never been on that website, but I think its easier talking on the internet than face to face. (Its not so awkward.) Or you can talk to me. Im usually on every day, but it may take a while for me to reply. Im on at certain hours, but I will reply quickly as soon as I see it. Now, I dont see a reason to hate yourself. Everyone gets Exhaustion at one point. Its normal. Similarly, many people have that feeling of being worn out. Just Sedated state down and talk to someone. Im being absolutely serious. If you dont have enough energy to go to a psychiatrist, then just go on that website I mentioned. All it takes is for you to reach your computer (or phone) and start typing. Not much effort.Now keep in mind that even though we have similar problems, I highly doubt I understand your situation as much as I think I do. So I apologize in advance for anything that may offend you, and anything insensitive is completely unintentional. (I have a tendency to be insensitive.) ', 'Thats the problem. Stop feeling so negative. Everyone is unique and everyone helps society in their own way. Some people may give smaller help than others, but its still help. Stop focusing on the bad qualities and focus on the good qualities. If the bad ones are bring you down, improve them. Tell me your bad qualities. I think youre taking this too fast. ', 'You sound Hyperactive behavior me right now. You feel absolutely worthless and in Ache. But if you ended it now, it may cause Ache to others, which is no good. Well, based on what you said, youre a really nice person and I probably dont understand the extent of Ache youre feeling right now. Sure I think I have similar problems Hyperactive behavior yours, but Ill never know. To tell you the truth, I too think Im not that smart. *a burden*, *an idiot*, *a failure*, *an embarrassment*Name that I constantly hear inside my mind and/or from others. And I know why they call me that.Im slow. What takes great difficulty for me is a breeze to others. Even my brothers are starting to get ahead of me. The Stress to keep up is overwhelming. But when I lost the will to keep going, it just made things worse. Life didnt matter to me. I took any punishments/attacks/insults that were coming to me Hyperactive behavior I deserved it. I cant die though, or else Ill inflict great Ache onto my youngest brother and I cant do that. So for now, Ive ignored it and tried to move on. Theres not much I can do right now and its going to follow me till I fall again. But at least I know what is causing me Ache. Its better than not knowing.Now, you should really find out whats causing you Ache. I dont really know, but I feel its not some thing, but rather its something missing. (Kinda confusing, but stay with me.) You say you have a perfect family, and good friends. Who wouldnt want that? So it cant be your family. Theres probably something missing that you need to find out. Until you do, nothings going to change and that sucks. It truly does. For now, just place those thoughts aside for now and keep going. This is hard to hear, but you cant just make your problems disappear at this time. (Honestly, if Suicide was the real answer to ridding problems, many more would have done that by now. But its not.)I cant say itll get better or worse. Ive hoped for a better future myself and its still doesnt look too bright. But Ive chose to move on and see how it goes. The Ache is definitely still there despite how much Ive tried to hide and push it back. But its no use struggling to fix it now, when so many things are going to pass by. Im sorry that I cant give you a straight answer on how to solve your problems. If I could, I would (because that would also solve mine). But just know that theres always someone out there that feels very closely to what youre feeling right now. (It may not be me, but Ive told you my story and you can decide yourself.)To clarify, just Sedated state down and try to forget about it for now. I know its easier said than done and you probably think Im highly insensitive (which could be true). But just try and understand that its not going to get better right away, but things will change. And if it gets worse, just come back here again. One thing is for sure. **Theres no problem with you.**  People may be smarter than others. But at the end, were all human and we all make mistakes. Everyone goes through the point where they feel worthless compared to others and there are different ways to fix it. We just dont have the answer in front of us right now. But thats ok. Just Sedated state down and forget it for now. Theres really no use to thinking about it too much.', 'Even only you had more free time, your problem would have been resolved a long time ago.You just need do something to keep you happy. I could give some examples, but you should try to find it yourself. ', 'Why do you want to kill yourself?I admit, its truly nice you care for your family and friends.But why?*sips tea*Come. sit down and talk to me. ', 'Ya, I would be stuck if I was in your situation. I think this is more of a family situation between your SOs brother and your SO.However, you can support him by helping your SO to stay strong. If his brother goes, whos to say that your SO will also be sad because of that fact? Maybe other Redditors can think of another way, but this is just my opinion.', 'Na, please think it through. I think youre just Stress out and dont have everything planned. Thats all. And everyone has their flaws. Youre just not a Phobia, Social guy and you dont have everything all sorted out. Its fine. (But if youre breaking down every hour, then please go to a doctor.) BTW: Sorry for the late response. Im still working on lots of homework and I was also helping my mom with stuff. (Shes not the best at technology.)', 'Dont Anxiety about it! In your life, youre gonna have some ups and downs. Whenever youre feeling down, you can talk to me. Im always open. :D', 'Please dont do anything too hasty. Theres more to life than just girls. Sure she was special to you, but people move on. Of course, most struggle with this, especially if it just happened recently.Now that Ive said that, I have to tell you I am not in a relationship and never had one either. So I cant completely understand your situation, but Ive had friends who suffered from break-ups and its definitely not easy. Some of them never actually recovered. Its very sad and I just want to make sure you dont do anything too drastic without thinking first.Based on what you said, I can only assumed you loved your girl very much. (10 months is a long time.) However, some people just fall out of love and they want to meet new people. Its perfectly normal. Of course the person thats Ventricular Dysfunction, Left behind is going to Chest Pain a lot. Its not something you can Hypersomnia on or play an hour of video games to get over it. I know youre in great Ache right now, all Im saying is thats fine, but you too should move on. Dont take it too extreme and end your life. Its not worth that much.Also, it could be good that you both have split. (Dont take this the wrong way and hear me out.) I do not know why she Ventricular Dysfunction, Left you, but I can guess that she didnt love you Hyperactive behavior before. But if you both stayed together, she will not be happy. And remember, the person who cares the least controls the relationship. Its painful, but true. Also, if shes not happy, you probably will not be so happy soon. Therefore, you just have this sad relationship, and thats no good. Life consists of a lot of things, some that most people dont see. Right now, youre focused on your broken relationship. (Again, its fine. No one expects you to get back up so fast if the relationship was that meaningful.) But you have to expand your focus on other things. Lifes not all about girls and love. I cant promise whats going to happen in your life. But remember, time will heal this and life has its ups and downs. Right now, your life is clearly down to rock bottom. I cant say how your life will go next, but I can tell you that if you can move on, you could feel a bit better. This only works if you choose to. If you need to talk, please talk to me. I am open to talk. I may not be the best, but my ears are open for those who want me to listen. Best of luck and I hope you feel better.  ', 'I cant really understand your situation because Im still too young, but I do know that youre in great Ache right now.The reason youre in Ache is because you chose to center love in the first place. I dont Irritable Mood to sound so inconsiderate, but it is the truth. I think you need to relax and find what is truly the center of your life. BTW what is going on between you and him? Im sorry, but what you said was kinda vague.', 'There are millions of people and everyone is different. So it really doesnt matter what people think.You can be whatever you want to be.And again, there are millions of people, youll find someone ', 'Sorry, I didnt Irritable Mood to be insensitive. Maybe I was a bit off on those things. However, I just wanted to show that his problems can be fixed and is not that bad. Also, I now know what I said was wrong and its ok to call me out, but at least Im trying to help this person. I was looking through the comments and I didnt see you try to help him at all, but only here to say Im wrong. You should direct your energy into helping those in need rather than the helpers. Otherwise, I assume youre just trying to offend me or something idk.', 'I wish I had that. Its all learning and stuff with my teachers. Nothing close.I dont understand, do you want to her to know or is that a problem?And do you still need help with Suicide?I honestly dont understand. Terribly sorry for my ignorance.', 'I feel sorry for you, but I just cant relate.Its just because I stop having friends for birthdays at 10 years old.And people go by in school and just say happy birthday. No presents or anything. Just saying happy birthday.And when its the weekend, theres 3 or 4 people on facebook saying happy birthday to me. No actual friends around. However, I really stopped looking at my birthday as an actual birthday and make it an excuse. I just say that for my birthday, I would Hyperactive behavior a family reunion. Seriously, I think thats the best birthday gift. Being surrounded by a big family always makes me happy. A couple of times, there were always some to forget to bring presents, but I just shrug it off and say that doesnt matter.I know you feel Hyperactive behavior youre ""done"" with people, but just try to look at the bright side. You got Reddit saying Happy Birthday and youre one step closer to 18 if youre into that.Turn the situation around to be in your favor. Anyways, happy 17th birthday. Enjoy being 17 and dont be sad, because youll miss all the great things that will happen in the future! I may not be able to relate, but Im with 100%. :D', 'Well, days must end, but a new day will come tomorrow. Its up to you if you want see it. Getting over lost things is terribly difficult, whether it might be a friend, family, or even losing a special pencil. But if you cant find it, you have to let it go (no pun intended) and move on. While you are grieving, countless things are happening everyday and you would be missing that. Moving on is difficult, but everyone has to do it at one point.And anything is only troublesome if you only think that way. If you can forget and move on, its more beneficial rather than grieving. There is always a new beginning. When something has ended, something else has begun. But again, its up to you if you want to find out. Note: Pardon my lack of vocabulary and using the word ""thing"" so many times. Im particularly Exhaustion at this time. ', 'Well then stop being a scrapegoat! (I know its not that simple. Keep reading.)I applaud for being a considerate human being, even to take the blame for something you didnt deserve. Unlike me (who lets people burn), you actually care more about others.Again, its a nice thing, but sometimes too nice leads to bad consequences.  Right now, youve always cover for anyone at fault. The guy who takes one for the team. But it has to end.You need to stop covering for people, and let them take whats coming to them. Sure in the beginning, itll feel even more painful to watch and youll feel even more compelled to cover for them. But they need to take the hit.Im just going to make an example. Say youre playing with a friend on your smartphones. But all of the sudden, your friends phone breaks. He panics because his parents will be furious. Based on what you said, you take the blame for him and pay the phone. (Now his parents dont really Hyperactive behavior you.) The next day, youre doing the same thing again with your friend. (He got a new phone.) But he somehow breaks it again. Instead of panicking, hell look to you to take the blame.The truth is, your problems probably have to do with things that are actually important (rather than my example). But what Im trying to say is that people need to learn their lesson. Itll Chest Pain at first, but theyll learn. On the other hand, if you try to take the blame, they wont learn and probably look to you to take the blame again. You may see yourself as the good guy for protecting others from blame, but youre really make yourself the bad guy and are harming others. Theyll probably do the same again, and youll feel worse and worse. People need to take responsibility for their own mistakes, not you.If you continue to be a scapegoat, youll only receive more blames and feel more Ache. The path will only keep going down. But if you stop here and clear your name, the blames will be lifted and your mind could feel a bit better. The rule is you need to take responsibility for your actions. Not anybody elses. (a bit insensitive)**TLDR**: Do yourself a favor and stop take the blame. Whoever is at fault should take the blame.', 'Please tell the media.If they are going to do all sorts of criminal acts Hyperactive behavior this, you may as well just go and tell the media. Theyll be discovered as who they really are and possibly, the weight of your shoulders will be lifted.If you are going to tell the media, tell them what you know and also explain how they ""demonized and vilified"" you for telling the truth and show them proof of this ""hate campaign"". Once the media knows, theyll be ruined.After, go to the police. Tell what you know and what you think. Im sure theyll take this matter seriously because invading privacy is no joke, no matter who you are. Theyll protect you and hopefully, this will be resolved. You are doing the right thing. These cruel people are scaring you (literally to death) in order to cover their crimes. Please dont kill yourself. From your writing, I can tell youre a smart person and you just were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Report them and run to safety. Two things though.* I recommend you ask the media if you could stay anonymous. OR you can give your name to show revenge. * Tell me the aftermath if you actually do this.However please dont kill yourself over this. Thats the main point. They are in the wrong, not you.', 'Before you do that, Sedated state down and think logically. Even if you dont die from overdose, that many pills will cause Ache to your organs and who knows what kind of suffering lies ahead? Either way, please dont do this. Its definitely not a good idea. Now, why do you want to do this? Whats the point for all of this? ', 'Hey! I want to do neuroscience as well! Its my dream. Dont say its out of the picture. Its important to have those dreams, so you could keep going. Read this: (http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/get-a-b-and-no-med-school.179530/)Thats proof that youll be fine. So dont give up until the very end. What do you do for fun? Even if youre in college, theres gotta be a hobby or something you do for fun.', 'From what you say, I feel absolutely sorry for your tragic problems. I know the feeling when youre on the right track, but then something pops up and screws up everything. And when youre already frustrated, another problem rises. Overall, its bs and sucks Hyperactive behavior hell.But there are some things you just have to let go. Like your ex. You need to let her go because remembering her actions right now will only make it worse. I know how that sounds. Its Hyperactive behavior someone punches you and youre supposed to ""let it go"". You just cant. But if you remember and keep that Ache, itll never go away. So you can either keep the Ache or let it go. The Cancer problem, to me, is pure coincidence. I cant (and probably never will) completely understand your predicament right now because I dont have cancer. But you should still strive for the PhD, because not many people can get there. TLDR: Let go of the Ache, because keeping it will only Chest Pain you. Also, continue with your studies.   ', 'Ill try to help you step by step.* Girls are not your entire world (especially only 1). You should meet other people and see how that works.* Grades are extremely important, but dont let bad grades consume you. When I was in 9th grade, I was in danger of failing my Biology Honors class (hella hard class) and I got Depressed mood that this may ruin my whole life. But I turned that around by asking my parents for tutoring, trying very hard, and asking my teacher/counselor what I could do better.* Most people dont take Mental Depression seriously. Most guys just call that being ""weak"" or ""making excuses"". But its a real thing and dont let people get to you. Anyone can send info, but its up to you to take it. And if people are making fun, give no attention to it and work on turning everything around. (I too had people making fun of me and it was hella Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder most of the time)What do you do for fun? ', 'Good job! Idk what to say, because this is one of the best success stories I know right now.  ', 'Before I say anything, you did say that you ""Dont want sympathy, dont want a friend, dont want someone who undertstands.."" So Im going to give a short, and honest answer. Im terribly sorry if Im a bit insensitive.**Effort, intelligence, talent, and luck are the only 4 things that will get you anywhere.**Now Ill elaborate. Life is a game. But how you play the game is a problem. Theres a bunch of tips and tricks on how you get progress in life. On the other hand, hard work is needed to keep going, and intelligence and talent both help. So if you havent put in effort on what you want, you will not progress. Sometimes, youre just lucky and you move on. Most of the time, its all about how much effort you put in. No one really selects their own difficulty. But how hard it seems is all up to you. And when you really stop caring, its only going to get harder and harder for you. Not because life gets harder every day, but because you let it accumulate. Then at one point, life is too hard for you to deal with. And so you give up Hyperactive behavior so.How you let life throw stuff at you is your decision. Theres a difference between staying there and taking the blows rather than doing something about it. Again, it takes more effort. To clarify, life is a game where whoever knows how to play it, wins. Theres no level of difficulty, but how hard you make it seem is up to you. I hope you feel better. Again, that was just a straight answer because I assume you wanted it Hyperactive behavior that. ', 'Make sure you say it carefully though. She may not look Hyperactive behavior it, but in a suicidal state, people are very sensitive. I give advice, but I cant actually do it myself just because I write online better than actually talking. Its a flaw, but I get over it.Best of luck!', 'Dont Anxiety, I know how you feel. I too am discriminated, but from my brothers. Anything bad that they do, I get pointed at first. After a while, the truth is revealed. But this happens at least twice everyday, and its not fun.Honestly, its because of the fact you tried marijuana and e-cigs is whats making your parents treating you differently. They just dont believe you have good judgement anymore. So even when youre telling the truth, all they hear is excuses so you can pull a fast one and go smoke. (Just an example, though I hope its not true.)They lost their trust of you and so theyre acting this way. Maybe actually go to those Catholic therapists. Im not supposed to use religion as a solution, but if you obey your parents, maybe theyll trust you again. You never know. The therapists may help you. If it will not, may as well go to stop your parents.Im still going to say that you should stop with the e-cig and especially marijuana. I dont know much about e-cigs, but marijuana is very harmful and dangerous. (You could get arrested if police find you have that on you.) ', 'Im still really young, but my dad had the same problem. He got laid off and was trying extremely hard to get a job. After he found it, he had to go through all sorts of tests, competing with others. Fortunately, he got the job and hes been doing very good for these couple of years.But during the unemployment time, my dad was extremely Stress out, Hyperactive behavior you. But your problem is different from my dads. I honestly think you rushed into adulthood unprepared. However, you made good progress finishing college with a bachelors degree. (This gives you a better chance than others.) But in this economy, its not only hard for you to look for a job, but many others as well. Based of what Ive learned and listened to, connections are great advantage to look for jobs. By connections, I Irritable Mood others that you know well. These people know where there are job openings and you can quickly jump on them. Without connections, finding a job is easier said than done. Right now, marijuana and smoking will not help you. The feeling of motivation may feel good for now, but will only lead to Drug craving. (And I doubt any employer will hire someone who does marijuana.) Immediately stop right now and get some help.And I dont Irritable Mood help in stopping addictions, but looking for jobs. In desperate times, you need all the help you can get, and this is one of those times. Ask your family and your friends to keep an eye for any job openings. And Im sure there are websites that can help you look for jobs. I think working minimum wage for you is good for now. Honestly, its better than hiding in your room while your parents are ""sniping"" you. At least you make some money and have something to do. While doing that, continue looking for jobs and keep having hope. The more you run away the problems, the worse it may get. Once you get Exhaustion of running, itll catch up and consume you again. Best thing right now is to fix it quickly before that happens. Hope it works out for you.', 'Well, I dont think Suicide would be the answer in your case. This is more along the lines of ""organizing and rethinking your life"". One things for sure, you dont need to live up to others expectation of you. They get what they get, and they shouldnt get upset. Remember, you cant make everyone happy. Live up to what you expect of yourself. Forget about anyone else. They can encourage you because they believe you have potential, but they cant force their expectations onto you. Its up to you to decide.I think you should focus on yourself first. From what Ive seen with many people on here, they Hyperactive behavior to place others before themselves. (Thats good btw.) But you cant help others when you have problems. This here is clearly a problem. So for now, set aside the problems of your boyfriend and your mom for now. I apologize for being insensitive, but you cant help others when you need help yourself. Also, if you dont meet your expectations of yourself when you wanted to, then lower it a bit. This sounds kinda weird, but its the truth. You dont get better overnight. You work towards your goal and sometimes you set it too Drug abuse. But once you meet that lower expectation, strive for higher. Its ok if you get there a bit slow. Everyone has their own speed.Again, dont live up to expectations of others. Your sister may be great, but that doesnt Irritable Mood youre no good. In addition, you shouldnt Anxiety how others look at you too much. If you stop comparing yourself to others, you could feel a bit better.Now I know youre a good person. You care about so many people, and I assume you helped your little sister when she was young. Thats great. The only problem you have is just comparing yourself to others. As soon as you let it go, your perspective on life could change.But hey. Just be the best you can be. Love will come and happiness and people come and go, but you are you and no one else can replace you. Just dont have regrets. BTW: I have to admit that I probably dont understand your situation as much as yourself. So if anything above is wrong, feel free to call me out. And if you need someone to talk to, Ill be glad to. Hope you feel better.', 'Ya I have that feeling too. Its all the same and or even more boring than the last. Its a Ache to go through. I assume you have feelings of Confusion and thats normal. Im the same, and I dont know how to fix this, but I can help you with one thing.There are more ways of transportation than just by car. You can try biking or walking (unless its very far). Or just bike along the beach or wherever theres a nice breeze. Ask your friends if they want to tag along. I dont know, but thats what I did. (Well they asked me to come, but basically the same.) Its that feeling of exploration because Ive never been along the beach. And its amazing. Even though its completely tiring, it was loads of fun. Just keep going and maybe something random will happen. Life is full of surprises, but it doesnt happen every day. And sometimes, you find your own excitement. It takes some time. ', 'Well failing i",Supportive
user-498,"['Dont know there as dumb as it sounds I feel Hyperactive behavior I dont even deserve help. This is the third time in a row that any relationship I have ended due to the same reasons. I struggle to have emotions lol. I legit do not trust a single person in the world to actually allow them to know who I and what I truly am due to Im just Social fear of what they really will think. I have really horrible thoughts I feel compared to most people mostly about myself.I try to do things that made me happy before because Im a big geek. I love Anime I love computers and playing games and going to the Gym and nothing really helps. When I play games I just feel Hyperactive behavior Im masking my sadness and when I go to the gym I just feel Hyperactive behavior Im losing more weight because Ive all ready lost weight due to this entire issue. I went from around 150 to 140 to 142. And all I do now is just drink energy drinks instead of eating a meal. ', 'Ive been though six psychiatrist so far and nothing has helped and I refuse to take meds because they just made me into something that I wasnt. I dont understand why or what I did to make it to the point where she refuses to even talk to me or see me in person anymore.', 'Whats even worse is that I dont know what to do either if she just needs time to think and actually does decide to come back. Like Id devote my times and effort to make myself a better person and finally allow someone in but should I even?', 'I know exactly what horribly Nausea is. Due to my lack of knowledge I took over 120 to 150 Over the counter Ache killers two times and I failed both time.And as sad as it is my room mate is just as Depressed mood as I am. Lol its Hyperactive behavior the dynamic duo of fail.', 'I just dont understand how for the past three years we said wed be together for ever and I was fucking dumb enough to believe that. To think Id finally found someone who can make me whole and without any pause or hesitation she just ups and leaves. I dont understand how you can look someone in the eyes and say ""I love you"" and then leave without even trying to talk things out even when the other person whats to change / fix things and work on things together.']",Attempt
user-499,"['>It gets better, trust me.Ive spent long enough blindly and fruitlessly *trusting* that things will get better; prove it.Nineteen and a half years ago I was barely more than a boy. I sat on my fathers bed and pulled out his .44 special. I loved that gun; it was a snub-nosed revolver Hyperactive behavior they always used in those old detective movies. I sat holding that thing against to roof of my mouth for what seemed Hyperactive behavior ages, but I eventually decided to re-consider my choices and live on. No decision before or since has been more regrettable. I know that I am loved. I know that the death of a loved one is hard, but I also know that for any two people who love each other, one typically will have to survive the death of the other. Try to look at this from the perspective of someone whos spent a lot of time thinking on these things. I know how much living can intrinsically bring Ache and sorrow for someone who suffers Ache merely at existence. I also know that in spite of watching a few loved ones die in the interim, I actually have more loved ones now than I did back then, more people who will be Chest Pain when I finally die. Barring the Rapture, Im going to die. I cant actually spare my loved ones the Ache of my death unless I either wait to die after them (and suffer the Ache of their death) or die before they become loved ones. When considering the sum total of sorrow associated with my existence including the daily sorrow of existing and the acquisition of loved ones over the course of life, Suicide (or at least an early death) is still the winning investment.I used to believe that things would get better. I tried really hard, and I tried a lot of things, and all it got me was two decades of suffering. You say in your post more than once that you believe in me. What explicitly does that mean, and what gives you such faith?']",Behavior