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multimodal_satire

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https://babylonbee.com/news/utopia-breaks-out-in-minneapolis-after-police-replaced-with-chick-fil-a-workers

Utopia Breaks Out In Minneapolis After Police Replaced With Chick-Fil-A Workers

https://babylonbee.com/news/association-of-nihilists-release-statement-supporting-black-lives-matter-while-maintaining-nothing-really-matters-in-the-end

Association Of Nihilists Releases Statement Supporting Black Lives Matter While Maintaining Nothing Really Matters In The End

https://babylonbee.com/news/podcast-the-cheesecake-of-justice

Podcast: The Cheesecake Of Justice

https://babylonbee.com/news/beautiful-statement-husband-to-boycott-household-chores-until-racism-is-defeated

Husband To Boycott Household Chores Until Racism Is Defeated

https://babylonbee.com/news/study-shows-most-christian-theology-about-hell-is-based-on-far-side-cartoons

Study Shows Most Christian Theology About Hell Is Based On Far Side Cartoons

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-claims-hes-developed-faith-the-size-of-a-peach-pit--enough-to-destroy-the-entire-planet

Trump Claims He’s Developed Faith The Size Of A Peach Pit — Enough To Destroy The Entire Planet

https://babylonbee.com/news/celebrities-show-solidarity-with-protesters-by-burning-their-own-homes-to-the-ground

Celebrities Show Solidarity With Protesters By Burning Their Own Homes To The Ground

https://babylonbee.com/news/middle-aged-white-women-suddenly-interested-in-social-justice-after-learning-they-can-get-free-stuff-at-target

Nation's White Women Immediately Join Riots After Learning They Can Get Free Stuff At Target

https://babylonbee.com/news/call-of-duty-bans-all-firearms

Call Of Duty Bans All Firearms

https://babylonbee.com/news/k-love-goes-record-12-minutes-without-playing-way-maker

K-Love Goes Record 12 Minutes Without Playing ‘Way Maker’

https://babylonbee.com/news/zondervan-releases-hollow-bible-for-political-photo-ops

Zondervan Releases Hollow Bible For Political Photo Ops

https://babylonbee.com/news/the-babylon-bee-to-have-rainbow-logo-for-month-of-june-to-remind-god-not-to-flood-us-again

The Babylon Bee To Have Rainbow Logo For Month Of June To Remind God Not To Flood Us Again

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-one-ups-pelosi-with-30-foot-tall-bible

Trump One-Ups Pelosi With 30-Foot-Tall Bible

https://babylonbee.com/news/in-powerful-statement-covid-19-vows-not-to-infect-anyone-protesting-inequality

In Show Of Solidarity, COVID-19 Vows Not To Infect Anyone Protesting Inequality

https://babylonbee.com/news/antifa-looter-selfishly-refuses-to-redistribute-loot-equally

Strange: This Antifa Rioter Has Yet To Redistribute His Loot To The Less Fortunate

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-evidence-suggests-jesus-encouraged-disciples-to-loot-and-burn-down-temple-after-flipping-tables

New Evidence Suggests Jesus Encouraged Disciples To Loot City After Flipping Tables In Temple

https://babylonbee.com/news/government-jealous-of-rioters-speed-efficiency-in-destroying-local-businesses

Government Jealous Of Rioters' Speed, Efficiency In Destroying Local Businesses

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-pelosi-face-off-in-intense-game-of-bible-jeopardy

Trump, Pelosi Face Off In Intense Game Of Bible Jeopardy

https://babylonbee.com/news/pelosi-rips-up-bible

In Bold Anti-Trump Statement, Pelosi Rips Up Bible

https://babylonbee.com/news/kraft-singles-changed-to-black-squares-to-fight-inequality

Kraft Changes Singles To Black Squares To Fight Inequality

https://babylonbee.com/news/nations-racists-repent-after-reading-statement-on-equality-from-hidden-valley-ranch

Nation's Racists Repent After Reading Statement On Equality From Hidden Valley Ranch

https://babylonbee.com/news/governor-cuomo-orders-nursing-homes-to-admit-rioters

Governor Cuomo Orders Nursing Homes To Admit Rioters

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-shows-off-completed-awana-vest

Trump Shows Off Completed Awana Vest

https://babylonbee.com/news/save-the-babies-the-lila-rose-interview

Save The Babies: The Lila Rose Interview

https://babylonbee.com/news/heres-our-guide-to-being-prepared-for-rioting

Here's Our Guide To Being Prepared For Rioting

https://babylonbee.com/news/unity-at-last-kkk-and-rich-liberal-join-in-celebration-as-black-neighborhood-burns

Unity At Last: Klansman And Rich Liberal Activist Join In Celebration As Black Neighborhood Burns Down

https://babylonbee.com/news/nike-releases-commemorative-shoe-to-honor-looters

Nike Releases Commemorative Shoe To Honor Looters

https://babylonbee.com/news/episcopalians-confused-by-strange-book-trump-brought-to-church

Episcopalians Confused By Strange Book Trump Brought To Church

https://babylonbee.com/news/toddler-walks-back-anti-bath-comments

Toddler Walks Back Previous Anti-Bath Comments Now That It's Time To Get Out Of The Bath

https://babylonbee.com/news/nation-wishes-god-would-send-someone-who-could-unify-people-across-all-races-classes-genders-tribes-tongues

Nation Wishes God Would Send Someone Who Could Unify People Across Races, Classes, Genders, Tribes, Tongues

https://babylonbee.com/news/genius-marketing-dennys-new-anti-fascist-omelette-draws-huge-lines

Genius Marketing: Denny's New Anti-Fascist Omelette Draws Huge Lines

https://babylonbee.com/news/churchgoers-avoid-arrest-by-disguising-themselves-as-rioters

Clever Churchgoers Avoid Arrest By Disguising Themselves As Rioters

https://babylonbee.com/news/powerful-protesters-spell-out-love-with-burning-homes-and-businesses

Powerful: Protesters Spell Out 'Love' With Burning Homes And Businesses

https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-draws-largest-crowd-in-years

CNN Draws Largest Crowd In Years

https://babylonbee.com/news/thousands-of-church-greeters-laid-off

Thousands Of Church Greeters Laid Off

https://babylonbee.com/news/scientists-confirm-coronavirus-only-spreads-at-conservative-protests

WHO Scientists Confirm Coronavirus Only Spreads At Conservative Protests

https://babylonbee.com/news/twitter-fact-check-finds-chinese-propaganda-morally-true

Twitter Labels Chinese Propaganda 'Morally True'

https://babylonbee.com/news/oh-no-the-main-scientist-gavin-newsom-has-been-listening-to-is-actually-a-bunch-of-raccoons-stuffed-in-a-lab-coat

Oh No! The Scientist Gavin Newsom Has Been Listening To Is Actually A Bunch Of Raccoons Stuffed In A Lab Coat

https://babylonbee.com/news/podcast-worship-song-generator

Podcast: Worship Song Generator

https://babylonbee.com/news/rioters-decline-to-sign-colin-kaepernick

Rioters Decline To Sign Colin Kaepernick

https://babylonbee.com/news/chicago-gang-member-relieved-to-discover-all-these-cops-just-here-to-raid-a-church

Chicago Gang Member Relieved To Discover All These Cops Just Here To Raid A Church

https://babylonbee.com/news/study-finds-executive-overreach-only-a-big-deal-when-other-party-in-power

Study Finds You Should Only Worry About Executive Overreach When The Other Party Is In Power

https://babylonbee.com/news/archaeologists-unearth-galilean-coffee-shop-where-jesus-held-small-group

Archaeologists Unearth Galilean Coffee Shop Where Jesus Held Small Group

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-signs-executive-order-banning-pda-on-facebook

Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Public Displays Of Affection On Social Media

https://babylonbee.com/news/twitter-hires-french-immigrant-hilareaux-lclintoneux-to-fact-check-trumps-tweets

Twitter Hires French Immigrant Hilareaux L'Clintoneux To Fact-Check Trump's Tweets

https://babylonbee.com/news/space-x-launch-scrubbed-after-karen-called-the-cops-on-it

SpaceX Launch Scrubbed After Local Karen Calls The Cops

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-announces-hes-leaving-twitter-for-myspace

Trump Announces He's Leaving Twitter For Myspace

https://babylonbee.com/news/shooter-released-after-authorities-determine-all-victims-died-of-covid

Shooter Released After Authorities Determine All Victims Died Of COVID

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-rows-across-great-lakes-in-surprise-attack-on-governor-whitmer

Trump Rows Across Great Lakes In Surprise Attack To Liberate Michigan

https://babylonbee.com/news/bible-declares-churches-essential

Bible Declares Churches Essential

https://babylonbee.com/news/time-names-karen-person-of-the-year

TIME Names Karen Person Of The Year

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-defeats-coronavirus-in-game-of-golf

Trump Defeats Coronavirus In Game Of Golf

https://babylonbee.com/news/nation-that-revolted-over-three-pence-tax-on-tea-now-pretty-cool-with-government-destroying-everybodys-livelihood

Nation That Revolted Over Three-Pence Tax On Tea Now 'Pretty Cool' With Government Locking Everyone In Their Homes

https://babylonbee.com/news/youtube-accidentally-executes-chinas-political-prisoners-due-to-algorithm-mishap

Algorithm Error Causes YouTube To Accidentally Execute People Who Criticize China

https://babylonbee.com/news/mariners-celebrate-best-record-in-years

Mariners Celebrate Best Record In Years

https://babylonbee.com/news/scholars-claim-jesus-actually-told-lepers-stay-home-save-lives

Scholars Claim Jesus Actually Told Lepers 'Stay Home, Save Lives'

https://babylonbee.com/news/apologetical-assassin-the-frank-turek-interview

Apologetical Assassin: The Frank Turek Interview

https://babylonbee.com/news/calvinist-altar-call-asks-jesus-if-he-would-accept-any-of-these-people-into-his-heart

Calvinist Giving Altar Call Asks Jesus If He'll Accept Any Of These People Into His Heart

https://babylonbee.com/news/black-man-votes-republican-immediately-turns-white

Black Man Votes Republican, Immediately Turns White

https://babylonbee.com/news/ted-cruz-getting-nervous-as-trump-demands-search-for-zodiac-killer

Ted Cruz Getting Nervous As Trump Demands Renewed Search For Zodiac Killer

https://babylonbee.com/news/in-act-of-defiance-trump-to-hold-republican-convention-at-golden-corral

Defying Health Orders, Trump To Move Republican Convention To Golden Corral

https://babylonbee.com/news/china-issues-stay-at-home-order-to-hong-kong-to-prevent-spread-of-democracy

China Issues Stay-At-Home Order To Hong Kong To Prevent Spread Of Democracy

https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-covers-himself-in-tattoos-to-remember-daily-who-he-is-and-what-hes-doing

Biden Covers Body In Tattoos To Constantly Remind Himself Who He Is And What He's Doing

https://babylonbee.com/news/in-latest-press-conference-governor-invites-citizens-to-come-forward-and-accept-government-into-their-hearts

At Moving Press Conference, Governor Invites Citizens To Come Forward And Accept Government Into Their Hearts

https://babylonbee.com/news/governor-whitmer-orders-citizens-to-barbecue-indoors

Governor Whitmer Orders Citizens To Barbecue Indoors

https://babylonbee.com/news/for-safety-the-scooby-gang-wont-unmask-the-swamp-beast-until-after-lockdown

For Safety, The Scooby Gang Won't Unmask The Swamp Beast Until After Lockdown

https://babylonbee.com/news/church-prepares-to-reheat-8-week-old-coffee

Church Reheats 8-Week-Old Coffee

https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-offered-position-as-staff-writer-at-the-babylon-bee

To Save Time, The Babylon Bee Will Now Just Republish Everything Biden Says Verbatim

https://babylonbee.com/news/podcast-recalling-ravi

Podcast: Recalling Ravi

https://babylonbee.com/news/baptists-pledge-to-only-use-non-alcoholic-hand-sanitizer

Baptists Pledge To Use Only Non-Alcoholic Hand Sanitizer

https://babylonbee.com/news/wife-has-sudden-memory-loss-every-time-amazon-package-mysteriously-appears-on-porch

Wife Experiences Sudden Memory Loss Every Time Amazon Package Arrives

https://babylonbee.com/news/ancestrycom-revokes-genealogies-of-african-americans-who-dont-support-biden

Ancestry.com Revokes Genealogies Of African Americans Who Don't Support Biden

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-unveil-proposal-to-just-guess-what-people-were-going-to-vote

Democrats Unveil Proposal To Just Guess How People Were Going To Vote

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-refuses-to-wear-mask-at-michigan-plant-since-they-got-him-the-wrong-ninja-turtle

Trump Refuses To Wear Mask At Michigan Plant Since They Got Him The Wrong Ninja Turtle

https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-if-you-dont-let-me-sniff-your-hair-you-aint-a-woman

Biden: 'If You Don't Let Me Sniff Your Hair, You Ain't A Woman'

https://babylonbee.com/news/cdc-admits-theyve-been-looking-through-microscope-upside-down-this-whole-time

CDC Admits They've Been Looking Through Microscope Upside Down This Whole Time

https://babylonbee.com/news/ken-ham-sends-out-dove-plans-to-reopen-ark-encounter

Dove Returns To Ken Ham With Discarded Face Mask Signaling It Is Safe To Reopen Ark Encounter

https://babylonbee.com/news/facebook-to-begin-fact-checking-users-inaccurate-avatars

Facebook To Begin Fact-Checking Misleading Avatars

https://babylonbee.com/news/fictional-characters-rated-for-their-covid-19-preparedness

Fictional Characters Rated For Their COVID-19 Preparedness

https://babylonbee.com/news/florida-ruled-to-be-in-violation-of-science-for-not-having-more-people-die

Florida Ruled To Be In Violation Of Science For Not Having More People Die

https://babylonbee.com/news/stacey-abrams-says-she-would-step-down-from-governorship-if-asked-to-run-for-vp

Stacey Abrams Says She Will Step Down As Governor If Asked To Run For VP

https://babylonbee.com/news/bar-enforces-social-distancing-by-forcing-all-patrons-to-wear-che-t-shirts

Bar Enforces Social Distancing By Having All Patrons Wear Che Guevara T-Shirts

https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-praises-governor-cuomo-for-killing-off-elderly-trump-voters

CNN Praises Governor Cuomo For Killing Off The Elderly Since They Probably Would Have Voted For Trump

https://babylonbee.com/news/infographic-fight-back-against-wokeness-with-more-gendered-language

Infographic: Fight Back Against Wokeness With More Gendered Language

https://babylonbee.com/news/china-friend-or-foe-the-tim-milosch-interview

China - Friend, Enemy, Or Frenemy: The Tim Milosch Interview

https://babylonbee.com/news/the-matrix-to-receive-reboot-where-neo-just-takes-the-blue-pill

Wachowskis Release Cut Of 'The Matrix' Where Neo Just Takes The Blue Pill

https://babylonbee.com/news/press-horrified-as-trump-begins-taking-shirt-off-to-prove-hes-not-obese

Press Horrified As Trump Begins Taking Shirt Off To Prove He's Not Obese

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrat-governors-warn-if-lockdowns-are-lifted-no-one-will-pay-attention-to-them-anymore

Democrat Governors Warn If Lockdowns Are Lifted They Won't Get Nearly As Much Time In The Spotlight

https://babylonbee.com/news/every-dart-lost-12-seconds-into-nerf-gun-battle

Every Dart Lost 12 Seconds Into Nerf Gun Battle

https://babylonbee.com/news/barbers-and-beauticians-lead-fight-for-liberty

State Governors Flee In Terror As Hairstylists Wielding Shears Lead Mass Uprising

https://babylonbee.com/news/states-beg-people-not-to-go-to-the-beach-until-theyve-tanned-up-a-bit-lost-a-little-weight

States Urge People To Hit The Gym, Tanning Salon Before They Go To The Beach

https://babylonbee.com/news/study-finds-anyone-who-makes-a-different-decision-to-wear-a-mask-than-you-is-a-sheep

Study Finds Anyone Who Makes A Different Decision To Wear A Mask Than You Is A Brainwashed Sheep

https://babylonbee.com/news/im-glad-were-closing-churches-for-public-safety-says-woman-in-line-at-walmart

'I Can't Believe Christians Think It's Safe To Go Back To Church,' Says Woman In Line At Walmart

https://babylonbee.com/news/engineer-frustrated-at-inability-to-tell-responsible-citizens-from-train-robbers

Engineer Frustrated At Inability To Tell Responsible Citizens From Train Robbers

https://babylonbee.com/news/earth-deemed-unworthy-of-ravi-zacharias

Earth Deemed Unworthy Of Ravi Zacharias

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-smash-roars-giant-green-president-after-taking-one-too-many-doses-of-hydroxychloroquine

'TRUMP SMASH!' Roars Giant Green President After Taking One Too Many Doses Of Hydroxychloroquine

https://babylonbee.com/news/mayor-de-blasio-lays-naval-minefield-to-deter-swimmers

Mayor De Blasio Lays Naval Minefield To Deter Swimmers

https://babylonbee.com/news/back-to-normal-conservatives-go-to-work-while-liberals-stay-home

Back To Normal: Conservatives Go To Work While Liberals Stay Home

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-assures-nation-he-will-leave-office-peacefully-at-end-of-his-eighth-term

Trump Assures Nation He Will Leave Office Peacefully At End Of His Eighth Term

https://babylonbee.com/news/joel-osteen-it-is-far-too-soon-to-reopen-the-bible

Joel Osteen Warns It Is Far Too Soon To Reopen The Bible