Input: I feel really uncomfortable around other people

Instruction:
When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared.
   I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people.    I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

Output: Reaching out to talk about these issues is an important first step. Finding professional services might be recommended if these issues are happening more and more. A few things to note...Anger is an important secondary feeling to be aware of- it keeps us safe, allows us to stand up for ourselves or others....but it also harbors a myriad of disadvantages. But its secondary. It's more necessary to understand the primary emotions behind the anger- worry, confusion, frustration, fear, loneliness, etc...Anxiety has a lot to do with worrying about the future, especially things that we might not be able to control. If we focus our worry on negative things- mistakes, failures, or messups then we will inherently tell ourselves negative things about ourselves.  People tend to dwell on the negatives without embracing, or as t least recognizing, the positives.


Input: I feel really uncomfortable around other people

Instruction:
When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared.
   I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people.    I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

Output: It's totally normal to feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable in large crowds, or large family gatherings. You may worry about not fitting in, or having anything to say. It is important to have a friend or two. Try to find someone with similar interests. Maybe you can do things that don't involve a lot of face to face contact, like going to see a movie, play or sporting event. Many people are perfectly happy doing things in small groups. If you have ongoing conversations in your head, it is usually due to worry about being judged, and wanting to do or say the exact right thing, as mentioned above. Finding someone to talk to, either a supportive friend or therapist, would allow you to get some of those thoughts our of your head, and realize that you are more accepted than you think. Good luck!


Input: I feel really uncomfortable around other people

Instruction:
When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared.
   I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people.    I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

Output: Since you're aware of your sensitivity to being among large groups of people, then continue to satisfy this and stay away from crowds as much as reasonably possible.It is also fine to prefer the companionship of animals, as long as it is not to the exclusion of relationships with people.Recognizing this feature about yourself is another example of self-understanding.The only point to consider is the reason you avoid talking with other people.If its because of bad or stressful encounters, betrayals or some type of violation, then having this relationship pattern remain in your mind, may introduce new problems such as loneliness from lack of close friends.What you should do is honestly understand whether you avoid people from fear of being hurt or exploited in some way or because you genuinely prefer solitude.If you have the right combination of people/solitude/animals, then great!If not, then consider the confidential office of a therapist for new understanding of yourself and your social interests.


Input: I feel really uncomfortable around other people

Instruction:
When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared.
   I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people.    I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

Output: Thanks for sharing your concern!  I think you'd be surprised if you knew how many people feel the same way.  Being in crowds can provoke anxiety (one of the symptoms of anxiety is irritability or anger, like you described).  For some people, that's just because of their personality (if you tend to be more introverted, being around lot of people is really draining).  For others, it can point to a diagnosis of social anxiety.I'd recommend starting by writing down your self-talk.  It sounds like you are telling yourself a lot of negative messages (as you mentioned, having imaginary conversations and assuming people are judging you).  Write down the thoughts that are leading to you feeling terrible and crying.  Maybe that's:  I'm stupid, Everyone else is having a good time so I should be too, There's something wrong with me.  Just writing these down is an important starting point because it allows you to be objective to your thoughts.  When you see them on paper, you can start to identify the lies and reframe them.  Next to your negative thoughts, write some positives:  I have something to offer, I'm okay the way I am, It's okay to prefer 1:1 relationships, etc.  Hopefully even as you read some of those suggestions, you feel a little lighter and more okay with yourself.  Take care!


Input: I feel really uncomfortable around other people

Instruction:
When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared.
   I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people.    I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

Output: So amazing that you are aware of your social anxiety and distress with others you are in relationships with. You have taken the first step toward a journey of healing! Secondly, make an appointment with a therapist who specializes in neurofeedback and biofeedback treatment. A test is needed to determine which areas of your brain are ‘on’ and which areas of your brain are ‘off’. Then it will be focused treatment which will speed your healing.


Input: How do I cope with separation anxiety while boyfriend is out of town?

Instruction:
I have been with my boyfriend for more than a year. He recently got a new job and travels a lot. I’m not used to him being gone all the time. I feel as though he has forgotten about me because he does not talk with me as much and doesn’t keep me up to date on everything that he does throughout the day, which he used to.
 I feel lost, sad and unwanted. This is really a tough new challenge. I just want to break up with him, but I love him so much. I don’t know why he is acting this way lately. I believe I have separation anxiety. Is there anything that I can do to help me cope with this while he is out of town?

Output: Relationships at any amount of distance can be so hard! It makes sense that you are encountering more anxiety than usual given that major change in your relationship. And you're right that being separated from our partners can heighten our insecurities and worries about not only our relationship security but about our partner's interest. Have you talked with your boyfriend about this struggle you're feeling? It can be hard to have this kind of conversation without triggering a sense of blame and subsequent defensiveness in our partners, but it really is possible. If you have any concerns about being able to do this, then a session or two with a local counselor or therapist might be really helpful - and it really can be just about finding the way to share what you're feeling.As far as coping with anxiety, there are a lot of options but I highly recommend an app called Self-Help for Anxiety Management. There's so much good information in this app to help you learn to pay attention to what kinds of thoughts are helpful or unhelpful, and there are also lots of activities for calming down and decreasing the intensity of that anxiety. The best part is, it's free!


Input: How do I cope with separation anxiety while boyfriend is out of town?

Instruction:
I have been with my boyfriend for more than a year. He recently got a new job and travels a lot. I’m not used to him being gone all the time. I feel as though he has forgotten about me because he does not talk with me as much and doesn’t keep me up to date on everything that he does throughout the day, which he used to.
 I feel lost, sad and unwanted. This is really a tough new challenge. I just want to break up with him, but I love him so much. I don’t know why he is acting this way lately. I believe I have separation anxiety. Is there anything that I can do to help me cope with this while he is out of town?

Output: In a way, yes, you have separation anxiety. It's normal in a relationship for us to slow down a bit with the attachment behaviours that establish and deepen love and connection. So, just because your boyfriend isn't talking as much or keeping you up-to-date doesn't necessarily mean what you fear it means...that he's forgotten about you or loves you less. It could mean quite the opposite...that he's focused on being successful in his new job and impressing you. He may think he's loving you more, but you feel loved less. You have two jobs to do here. The first is to manage your anxiety by "talking back" to the thoughts it puts into your head. It sounds like "It's normal to be insecure, but I have tons of evidence that he loves me and that I mean the world to him..." Find that evidence that helps you refute what anxiety is trying to claim. The second part of your job is to let him know what you need. You need more affection and connection during this period when he's away (more texts, phone calls, information). It's okay to want that, and I am sure he will be relieved to know exactly what he can do to help you feel secure and calm when he's away.


Input: How do I cope with separation anxiety while boyfriend is out of town?

Instruction:
I have been with my boyfriend for more than a year. He recently got a new job and travels a lot. I’m not used to him being gone all the time. I feel as though he has forgotten about me because he does not talk with me as much and doesn’t keep me up to date on everything that he does throughout the day, which he used to.
 I feel lost, sad and unwanted. This is really a tough new challenge. I just want to break up with him, but I love him so much. I don’t know why he is acting this way lately. I believe I have separation anxiety. Is there anything that I can do to help me cope with this while he is out of town?

Output: You are dealing with a lot of emotions about your relationship and it must be really difficult to be doing that without support.What brings you to believe it's specifically separation anxiety?  Did you feel the same way when he'd leave before the new job?  I'm not saying it isn't, but it sparks my curiosity about what that means to you.  It definitely sounds like you are grieving a pretty significant change in a relationship that you are invested in and a change in a person that you love.  That's so tough.Another thing to remember is that no matter what it looks like, you are coping in some way.  Rumination and worry are both ways of coping.  Crying or retreating from the world is also coping.  What do you want your coping to look like?  Most people want their coping mechanisms to reduce their uncomfortable feelings, so separating what meets that need vs what doesn't can clue you in to what will work best for you.  It doesn't necessarily mean you always have to escape your feelings though.  It's OK to feel everything you are feeling because you're human and you care.  It's also worth noting that his actions (or lack of) are triggering these feelings you have about you.  I don't know enough to speak to where that comes from for you, but how much of what he's choosing or not choosing to do is possibly about him?  When we don't know why someone has changed their behavior toward us, we typically end up blaming ourselves because our brains don't like uncertainty.  The truth could be much different.  The only way to truly know is to express that to him--though that is up to you if you feel like you are in a position to speak your truth to him.Support from other people in your life could help as well.  Maybe someone outside of the relationship can give some unbiased suggestions or even just offer support to you while you are moving through this really rough situation.  One way to look at how you are feeling is that your emotions could be reflective of what you want for your relationship vs what is happening now.  If there is some separation anxiety, maybe that's something that warrants more inner work for you if you so choose.  But it's normal in any relationship to feel upset when our partners aren't meeting our needs.  You probably know best which scenario fits your situation, and maybe it's a little bit of both!If you decide to confront him, speaking with someone you trust to help you with that or seeing a counselor could help to narrow down what you really want him to know and what you need from him.I wish you all the best!


Input: How do I cope with separation anxiety while boyfriend is out of town?

Instruction:
I have been with my boyfriend for more than a year. He recently got a new job and travels a lot. I’m not used to him being gone all the time. I feel as though he has forgotten about me because he does not talk with me as much and doesn’t keep me up to date on everything that he does throughout the day, which he used to.
 I feel lost, sad and unwanted. This is really a tough new challenge. I just want to break up with him, but I love him so much. I don’t know why he is acting this way lately. I believe I have separation anxiety. Is there anything that I can do to help me cope with this while he is out of town?

Output: First step is to tell your boyfriend the reasons you feel upset.This way he has a chance to answer your questions as to why he doesn't keep in touch.His responses will guide your next steps.There is a difference between his unavailability due to a heavy workload or because he has less interest in the relationship.In order to work with his current behavior you first need to find out why it is happening.


Input: How do I cope with separation anxiety while boyfriend is out of town?

Instruction:
I have been with my boyfriend for more than a year. He recently got a new job and travels a lot. I’m not used to him being gone all the time. I feel as though he has forgotten about me because he does not talk with me as much and doesn’t keep me up to date on everything that he does throughout the day, which he used to.
 I feel lost, sad and unwanted. This is really a tough new challenge. I just want to break up with him, but I love him so much. I don’t know why he is acting this way lately. I believe I have separation anxiety. Is there anything that I can do to help me cope with this while he is out of town?

Output: Consider talking with your boyfriend about times that you may be able to talk together while he is away. This way, you have an idea when you'll be able to contact him. Does he recognize the feelings that you have while he is away? How do you feel when you are together with him and he is home?I'm also curious as to how the level of your anxiety (on a scale of 1 to 10, perhaps) changes during the parts of his trips. Maybe there are certain parts that are more or less related to anxiety for you. Perhaps you have less anxiety while working or involved in a specific activity, for example, spending time with friends.When you are both in the same area (when your boyfriend is not traveling), do you do some things independently with friends? Do you know what leads to your anxiety when he is away? I don't know whether it is a general feeling of wanting him to come back or anxiety that something specific will happen to you or him.Do you ever recall feeling this way in your past? If so, what was happening then?What do you have that makes you feel very safe and comfortable?Consider working with a mental health professional in the area. Perhaps it would be helpful for the two of you to meet with a therapist who specializes in couples to see what kind of relationship you want to have and what you can each do to contribute to that relationship. There could be things that you could both start or stop doing to help your relationship move in the direction where you would like it to go. As an example, perhaps you would like a text before your boyfriend goes to bed, no matter what time zone or time of day it is. Perhaps he would prefer a good morning text or call/voicemail from you.


Input: Why do I always feel like I'm being watched?

Instruction: I often get the feeling that I'm being watched, like video cameras are hidden wherever I am, even at home. I feel like people can see all that I do and are reading my thoughts. Things I read or hear on the radio seem to be about (or meant for) me, and people are talking about me when they whisper.

Output: It sounds like you are feeling pretty overwhelmed with worry about being continuously monitored, with no privacy even in your own mind, and as if people are constantly saying things about you in whispers on in the media. It's hard to say from a post online what is at the root of this experience, but you may be able to get insight into that, as well as develop ways of coping with the distress of feeling this way, with the help of a good therapist. There is no pill or technique that can guarantee that this experience will go away, though it might, however, there are things that you can do so that you can understand it better and so that it does not have such an impact on your ability to lead a satisfy life.


Input: I feel insecure, on edge, and drink too much

Instruction: I feel insecure in my life. I don't think my wife truly wants our relationship even though she says she does. I have turned to drinking to help relieve my repressed stress about this and other issues. I have had a drinking problem for a few years. I feel the reason I drink is not just because I like to, but because I have lately been on edge. I’ve been very oddly emotional when watching movies that I have been watching for years. I’m paranoid about driving on main roads. I’m very jumpy at the slightest noises.

Output: Given the description you have posted here, it may be time to find someone to work with.  First and foremost, look into working with someone who specializes in working with individuals with challenges surrounding drinking. This would need to be assessed first since if it has been ongoing, it may be making the situation worse and given the time it has been utilized as a coping mechanism, there is reason to believe that the structure of your brain may have been effected as has been demonstrated by current neurological research.  There are however, ways to address this.  As for coping mechanisms, the person you work with should also look at offering you alternatives such as the skills found within the Dialectic Behavior Therapy model (DBT) which has several useful tools to help address the underlying anxiety and difficulty managing emotional regulation.  Mindfulness, another component of DBT should also prove to be useful in both becoming aware of your state of mind and emotional state to allow you to make different choices which has been supported by a growing body of evidence.  There are also other tools designed to help repair damaged relationships.  Well worth looking into.Seeking help is never easy and it is only human to be hesitant given some of the cultural views of working with therapist.  This is a difficult place to be in and one that is not easy to move out of, but sitting on it is not going to help it go away.  Think of it this way, if you broke your arm, would you just wrap it up and hope for the best? or seek out a professional to help you set the break and teach you how to mend the wound.  The same applies here.  Think of it as first aid for the mind.


Input: I feel insecure, on edge, and drink too much

Instruction: I feel insecure in my life. I don't think my wife truly wants our relationship even though she says she does. I have turned to drinking to help relieve my repressed stress about this and other issues. I have had a drinking problem for a few years. I feel the reason I drink is not just because I like to, but because I have lately been on edge. I’ve been very oddly emotional when watching movies that I have been watching for years. I’m paranoid about driving on main roads. I’m very jumpy at the slightest noises.

Output: Sorry hearing about the big amount of stress which you are feeling at this time.Since a lot of your stress is directed to uncertainty of whether your wife is happy being with you, would you consider continuing the conversation with her about your understanding of her answer to you?Your observation that she says one thing and behaves in a different way, is meaningful.Bringing your point to her attention would at the very least demonstrate her interest in showing and explaining her viewpoint about you.Basically, you'd be expecting her to care about you and how she handles herself with this question, may clarify what you're trying to find out.The good news about your relationship with alcohol, is that you realize you're overdoing it.From what you write, the emotional pain and helplessness you feel currently, seem too much to know about all at once.One possibility is to accept your feelings of hurt and insecurity.  This is the first step of working with them.   If they start feeling overwhelming, then maybe too, you can distract yourself for a while from the intensity by engaging in an activity that is not self-harming.After all, you are the most important person in your life, so keep yourself safe and healthy!


Input: I feel insecure, on edge, and drink too much

Instruction: I feel insecure in my life. I don't think my wife truly wants our relationship even though she says she does. I have turned to drinking to help relieve my repressed stress about this and other issues. I have had a drinking problem for a few years. I feel the reason I drink is not just because I like to, but because I have lately been on edge. I’ve been very oddly emotional when watching movies that I have been watching for years. I’m paranoid about driving on main roads. I’m very jumpy at the slightest noises.

Output: First I am sending you some healing vibes 🙌.  IT might be time to talk with your main medical provider about a checkup to see if this is relating to signs of PTSD. Or something else.   Studies have shown especially with those who have sensitive energies might feel things in an empathic way.  Or experiencing triggers relating to an underlining issue.  You used the word insecure. on edge.  You know you.  You also used stress, emotional, jumpy at slightest noises.  That is why journaling and wonderful sites like this help you release these feelings.  You also mention your wife surrounding your heart.💕   Studies suggest that people with low self-esteem also tend to be insecure in their relationships Your faith in yourself is more powerful than your fear. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” work on improving your self esteem seek spiritual support. Feeling good about yourself can boost your confidence and strengthen your relationship. You’ll not only reap the benefits of having a high self-esteem, but you’ll also appear more attractive to your partner. He or she will want to be as close to you as possible, hopefully alleviating your insecurity.


Input: Why do I throw all my stuff away?

Instruction: I constantly have this urge to throw away all my stuff. It’s constantly on my mind and makes me feel anxious. I don’t sleep because I’m thinking about something I can get rid of. I don’t know why I do it. I started years ago when I lived with my dad then I stopped when I moved in with my mom. Years later, it has started again.

Output: Since you wrote that you noticed a change in your throwing away urge when you changed with which parent you lived, would you feel that throwing away things is connected to wanting to be done with certain areas of influence with either parent?Play in your mind with the metaphor of "throwing away" and whatever associations you feel toward this.  Are you feeling alarmed or freed, by throwing away things?  I'm only suggesting these, not telling you that they apply necessarily.Anxiety comes up when people feel helpless to manage a meaningful part of their lives.  So pay attention whether your stuff represents difficult scenarios or phases of your growing up years.   Possibly you are trying to rid yourself of painful feelings which were part of your early years' relationship with either parent.Basically, sounds as though you are trying to establish a clearer sense of who you are and the throwing away part is a means of discovering who you are, once all the clutter is released.


Input: How do I open things up with a therapist without fearing judgment and condescension?

Instruction: I have several issues that I need to work through. However, I am afraid of and do not trust therapists after a horrible experience. I'm dealing with grief and guilt over losing my sons due to drug use. I have a very complicated traumatic relationship issue that is causing me severe anxiety and fear.

Output: I am truly sorry to hear about your loss, as well as your previous horrible experience with therapy.I agree with what Laura wrote about this, she makes great points.  However, I also want to add a few points.  It seems as though you are at a point where you want to speak to someone.  Honestly, you might not find the correct therapist for you right away.  It can be difficult to find someone who fits with you, who helps you feel comfortable and speaks to you completely unbiased and without judgement.  That being said, those kinds of therapists do exist.  Many therapists offer free consultations, perhaps not the first session like Laura, but a phone call where you can speak with them.  That can give you a good idea of what they are like and if you "fit" with them.Alternatively, have you considered going to a group?  This can take a lot of pressure off of you, because there are a lot of grief groups and many are for those who lost loved ones to drug use.  These can be something you do weekly, bi-weekly or even monthly and could be a stepping stone for you to get to the point where you feel ready to see an individual therapist.  It is also helpful to speak with others who have gone through a similar situation.  Check out psychologytoday.com or even google "grief groups near me" to see what pops up.  I hope this is helpful to you, again I am so sorry for your loss and I wish you the best.


Input: How do I open things up with a therapist without fearing judgment and condescension?

Instruction: I have several issues that I need to work through. However, I am afraid of and do not trust therapists after a horrible experience. I'm dealing with grief and guilt over losing my sons due to drug use. I have a very complicated traumatic relationship issue that is causing me severe anxiety and fear.

Output: I am sorry that you had this experience. Therapy should be a healthy positive experience off g growth. You have the right to look for certain high qualities in a therapist and finding the right one. Each therapist is bound by a code of ethics and clients should have high expectations. You are trusting them to guide, support and help you achieve the absolute best outcome and success. You should never be or feel judged, and you should feel comfortable and feel as though your therapy process is moving along with YOUR GOALS IN MIND. Speaking as a therapist, I encourage my clients to always let me know how they feel, even if they disagree with me, they also have the right to inform me if something I'm doing simply is not working for them, communication is critical in maintaining a healthy therapeutic alliance/ therapeutic relationship. I'm able to offer ways of thinking and strategies to my clients they may not have thought of. Its important to listen to my clients. It's also critical for clients to feel they can share in a environment that feels safe, non judgmental and confidential.Remember, you are the driver in your healing process, you should be the one in control because you know what your life struggles are. Speaking as a therapist, I'm here to guide my clients toward achieving their goals, encouraging and empowering my clients in what is meaningful to them to achieve. You should feel comfortable speaking your thoughts, my advice would look one who open hearing toy feel, even it's regarding them a therapist. That they are open to feedback.With all of that being said, it will take time to trust again but remember, ask questions and communicate with the next therapist  share  your experience and how it made you feel and that trust and being spoken  in a respectful , non judgemental and non condnscending way is critical for you. Be honest clearly state your expectations from start.  I offer free 50 minute first sessions for clients. The reason. I do this is because I feel that clients deserve opportunity observe the environment, ask me questions and have the opportunity to determine their level of comfort and decide if it's a good fit. Other therapists sometimes offer the similar, try finding one willing to offer a  consultation as that could give you the opportunity to feel things out and set forth expectations.The article below is an excellent article about what to look for in a therapist. It is worth your time reading because you are WORTH FINDING THE BEST HELP AVAILABLE! This article was written based on both evidence from research and clinical experience. I would strongly encourage anyone searching for help to read this and even use it as your guide. I hope this was helpful.https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-therapy/201603/10-ways-spot-good-therapistLaura Cassity, LMSW, LMAC


Input: What are the best ways to reduce anxiety?

Instruction: I have anxieties about everyday stressors, i.e. finances, work, relationships, kids, and maintaining a household.

Output: What are the best ways to reduce anxiety?I have anxieties about everyday stressors, i.e. finances, work, relationships, kids, and maintaining a household.Our everyday life is filled with pressures and deadlines that are common to cause anxiety.   Here are some basic tips to handle those stressors.·         Learn thought stopping techniques: There are multiple ways to teach your brain to refocus.  If you allow your brain to focus on the source of anxiety, the anxiety will be in charge.  But you can learn to put those anxiety-provoking thoughts on a parking lot, and focus on pleasurable thoughts, or the activity that you need to complete on the time being.·         Plan, organize, delegate:  Create a schedule to manage demands, organize priorities, and delegate or share responsibilities.   Work as a team with your family, so you can share the load.   Prioritize actives, shores, and expenses. Focus on the urgent, necessary, and spread apart the not so urgent.·         Identify triggers:  Once you understand what causes your anxiety, you can learn to channel process and refocus your thoughts.  You can also learn coping strategies to manage the problem or give up the desire to control it if needed.·         Learn coping skills:  Having a balanced lifestyle helps tremendously to reduce and manage anxiety symptoms.  Looking at your eating, sleeping, physical activities, spirituality and leisure time is key to find that balance.If you find yourself struggling with anxiety, you can contact a Counselor or mental health provider.  I provide teletherapy for Texas residents and psychotherapy in Puerto Rico, you can reach me at 787-466-5478 for appointments.¿Cuáles son las mejores maneras de reducir la ansiedad?Tengo ansiedad por preocupaciones diarias, como las finanzas, relaciones, niños y mantener mi casa.Nuestra vida está llena de retos y presiones que comúnmente nos causan ansiedad.  Aquí unos consejos básicos para manejar esas preocupaciones.·         Aprende como detener tus pensamientos: Hay múltiples maneras de enseñarle a tu cerebro a reenfocarse.  Si permites que tu cerebro se enfoque en la fuente de ansiedad, entonces la ansiedad se apoderará de ti.  Pero puedes aprender a poner a un lado esos pensamientos que causan ansiedad, y enfocarte en pensamientos positivos, placenteros o simplemente enfocarte en la actividad que estás haciendo. ·         Planifica, organiza, delega: Crea una agenda para manejar las demandas diarias, organizar prioridades y delegar o compartir responsabilidades.   Trabaja en equipo con tu familia, de manera que puedas compartir la carga.  Organiza las actividades, gastos y tareas por prioridad.  Enfócate en lo urgente y necesario y distribuye lo que no es tan vital. ·         Identifica la fuente:  Ya que comprendes donde o qué inicia la ansiedad, puedes aprender a canalizarla, procesarla o reenfocar tus pensamientos. También puedes aprender a manejar la fuente de ansiedad, resolver el problema, o aceptar que no lo puedes controlar, si ese fuera el caso. ·         Aprende mecanismos de defensa: Tener un estilo de vida balanceado ayuda tremendamente a manejar síntomas de ansiedad.  Observar tus patrones de alimentación, descanso, ejercicio, espiritualidad y tiempo de ocio es clave para encontrar el balance. Si notas que continuas batallando con la ansiedad puedes contactar a un consejero profesional de salud mental.   Proveo teleterapia a residentes de Texas y Consejería en Puerto Rico, me puedes contactar al 787-466-5478 para hacer una cita.


Input: What are the best ways to reduce anxiety?

Instruction: I have anxieties about everyday stressors, i.e. finances, work, relationships, kids, and maintaining a household.

Output: Something to remember about anxiety is that it's a useful and necessary response to stressors, and we all have a level of anxiety that falls somewhere on the spectrum from very slight to very overwhelming. Anxiety is our brain's way of prompting us to deal with the stress in our lives by getting us geared up for action. Some helpful ways of managing anxiety are actually very simple. The first I'd recommend is a calm breathing technique - breathe in for 4-5 seconds, and then out for 7-8 seconds. Try to repeat this for 3-5 minutes. Another suggestion is to pay closer attention in the moments you feel the physical symptoms of anxiety and see if you can describe - without judging - the sensations to yourself. Try to be very specific, such as "my palms are feeling very sweaty, and I can feel the slight tightness and fluttering in my belly of the butterflies." Then try to sit with these sensations without deciding if they are good or bad - just experiencing them as intentionally as possible.  Combining the calm breathing with this technique can also be very helpful. If you feel that these techniques don't help and your anxiety about everyday stressors are inhibiting you from being able to engage in life the way you want to, then I'd highly recommend going for an assessment or even just consultation with a professional. This professional can help you determine if therapy/counseling would be helpful for you to develop additional skills for managing those interfering anxiety symptoms.


Input: What are the best ways to reduce anxiety?

Instruction: I have anxieties about everyday stressors, i.e. finances, work, relationships, kids, and maintaining a household.

Output: I encourage you to look at two things - what you can do (behaviors) to better manage anxiety and how can you change your thoughts (cognitions) that likely exacerbate anxiety. Behaviorally, it may benefit you to create more structure and improve your organization and time management skills. That might include the use of a planner, a consistent sleep wake-cycle, exercise and movement, and prioritizing activities of self-care. The second component take a little more self-reflection. What are some of your thoughts that are problematic? For example, catastrophic thinking is common amongst people who struggle with anxiety. Those thoughts might sounds something like, "This is the worst day ever." Now, perhaps it was the worst day ever, but more than likely it wasn't. More than likely, it was a difficult day or a stressful day. By correcting that thought from "worst day" to "a tough day" you bring the intensity of the anxiety down a notch. Making those kinds of corrections to your thinking throughout the day will help your anxiety feel less debilitating and more manageable.


Input: What are the best ways to reduce anxiety?

Instruction: I have anxieties about everyday stressors, i.e. finances, work, relationships, kids, and maintaining a household.

Output: I don't think there are many people in this world that can't relate to this question!  To a degree, it's helpful to worry about all the things you listed so you give attention to paying bills, working, meeting the needs in your relationships, taking care of your children, etc.  It also shows that you definitely care.How much of that worry allows you to plan vs. how much is just extra and causing you suffering?  For each category you listed, try to identify what your plan is (within your capabilities) and write it down.  You can even write down things that are uncertain and come up with ways to explore options for those uncertainties.  Doing this can separate what that extra worry looks like and when to target those thoughts, as well as help you to feel like you have things under more control.  What is shown to help us perform even better than worry is self-compassion.  Kristin Neff is one of the best researchers in this area.  Here's her website: https://self-compassion.org/Also remember that you are not alone.  Many of the people around you may appear to have life all together when in reality they may worry just as much.  If you have a friend or family member you feel you can talk to, it can be helpful to have their understanding or support, even reassurance that you are not doing a bad job.My last curiosity is if there are any ways you could make the things you are doing more enjoyable.  Can you listen to a podcast you like while doing dishes?  Or reward yourself with something you like (e.g., alone time, episode of your favorite show, etc.) after paying a bill?  Could you ask for help here and there if you have that available to you?  If you are multitasking with children, is there a way you can all do household maintenance together?  That may be unrealistic but if it's something that you find interest in, you could give it a shot.  You have so much on your plate so give yourself credit for what you are doing everyday!


Input: What are the best ways to reduce anxiety?

Instruction: I have anxieties about everyday stressors, i.e. finances, work, relationships, kids, and maintaining a household.

Output: Anxieties are an adrenal problem;Clean them out with a proper detox, using the food built for mankind, and a herbal protocol;Maybe throw in some fasting here and there to kick the kidneys into high gear and get the adrenals pumping...Every loss is a gain, so losing a car means you no longer hold responsibility to keep and maintain it...If you're really up for it, some contemplation (that is keep one thought *lightly* on your mind allllllll day; that is just focus upon it from time to time, "Man, I notice that the sky is really blue today... and the air is really crisp today..."); after 3-5 days of contemplation, see what you notice...


Input: What are the best ways to reduce anxiety?

Instruction: I have anxieties about everyday stressors, i.e. finances, work, relationships, kids, and maintaining a household.

Output: Anxiety is overwhelming insecurity.Try to think of why you'd feel insecure or have very little confidence in your ability to complete or be in relationships.Is it possible you were very heavily criticized when you were young and growing up?Very often kids who are not encouraged to try new activities, have fun in relating to others, learn to not trust themselves to handle these fundamental parts of life.Also, if you grew up in an alcoholic or abusive family, whether the the abuse was toward you or between your parents, it is possible these scenes made you a very insecure foundation on which to trust your yourself and other people.Examine the basics of your growing up years and what may explain why you feel insecure.To improve, be patient with yourself about. making mistakes and simply try in simple, small, and direct ways to do the actions you fear and in which you also would like to participate.


Input: What are the best ways to reduce anxiety?

Instruction: I have anxieties about everyday stressors, i.e. finances, work, relationships, kids, and maintaining a household.

Output: Which one gives you the most anxiety? List from top to bottom which one gives you the greatest anxiety and ask the question how come? From there, we can figure out the underlying factors of your anxiety.


Input: What are the best ways to reduce anxiety?

Instruction: I have anxieties about everyday stressors, i.e. finances, work, relationships, kids, and maintaining a household.

Output: Since it is clear that people react differently to the same stressors, we know that the stressors are not causing the anxiety, our thoughts about the stressors are. Often, cognitive distortions are the problem. Some common cognitive distortions include catastrophizing (predicting the worst), future telling, black and white thinking (if it's not perfect, it's terrible), mind-reading (I just know he is angry at me) and can't-standitis (I can't stand this situation). There are more, but the list is long, and if some of these are resonating with you, I would advise looking up CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) tips, worksheets, booklets etc. on line, or contact a local CBT therapist. Another helpful piece of info on anxiety, is that it is prone to something called "symptom stress" - being anxious about anxiety. If we could hear this symptom stress it might sound like, "Oh no I'm getting nervous about this, I'm getting uptight, I look nervous, what if I have a panic attack!" followed by  more cognitive distortions such as "I can't stand being anxious!" and "this is horrible!" The antidote to this is acceptance.  Kind of like not stopping the waves but learning to surf instead (Jon Kabat-Zinn). If you happen to feel anxious, say to yourself - this is just a reaction I'm having that is unpleasant, but not horrible. I can tolerate and survive some anxiety, I can breathe deeply, and I'll be OK because panic attacks never killed anyone. I can stand this and it is temporary. You get the idea.We can increase our awareness of anxiety-provoking self-talk, and counteract it with calming and reassuring self-talk. We have the ability to think about our thinking, decide which thoughts are healthy and which are unhealthy, and choose which to focus on. We brainwash ourselves with our thinking, and according to self-perception theory, " we learn what we believe when we hear ourselves speak," so we may as well be a calming, reassuring presence in our own minds. :)


Input: I don't like going outside anymore

Instruction: I don't understand why this is happening. Why do I feel this way?

Output: Social anxiety has skyrocketed since COVID.  Plus could be trauma or PTSD.  Maybe you are a known person and feel safer not going so much out in public.  I understand as a known person in my field depending on where I am it can be a bit much.  Or maybe the things you found Joy in before are not as much of an interest.  It could be your age or menapause (hormones) and injury.  SO many things could be in play depending on the client and their lifestyle.  Always best to get a check up.  See if there is under lining medical issues and then go from there.


Input: I don't like going outside anymore

Instruction: I don't understand why this is happening. Why do I feel this way?

Output: There could be a few reasons that's happening.  If you are afraid of leaving your home and going other places, that may be an anxiety response.  Not all people who feel this way have all the criteria for agoraphobia, but that doesn't mean it's not hard and doesn't interfere with your life.  This may be triggered by a fear of being around people or people seeing you.  It may also feel like leaving the safety of your home is too overbearing without a clear indication as to why.  When it is the latter, it's typically brought on by an anxiety disorder (such as panic disorder).If you have lost interest in going outside, that may be a very different clinical picture.  Did you used to enjoy getting outside but now feel like it is no longer enjoyable?  Have you lost interest in other things that you used to find joy in?  When depression is the culprit, it can feel like you don't get excited about things you used to like, which is also accompanied at times by feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, sleep and eating changes, and frequent sadness.  It's not uncommon for anxiety and depression symptoms to coexist, so you may be experiencing a little (or maybe a lot) of both.  If you feel like you need to speak to somebody about what you are going through, counselors can usually help and with the option of telehealth (online counseling) you don't have to leave your home to do so.If you don't have access to a counselor, your primary doctor can also help you understand your symptoms better and maybe even recommend some other options for you.


Input: I don't like going outside anymore

Instruction: I don't understand why this is happening. Why do I feel this way?

Output: One reason may have to do with physical anxiety symptoms. This is common for people who experience panic attacks or physical anxiety symptoms. Often it begins with just avoiding certain places or activities where the symptoms happen. Over time, it's common for it to spread to more and more places and situations until many people get in the habit of not leaving their home at all in an effort to avoid the symptoms.


Input: I don't like going outside anymore

Instruction: I don't understand why this is happening. Why do I feel this way?

Output: The short answer I could give is that we don't know why it's happening. The longer answer could come from deeper exploration as to your fears, or anxieties, that you experience maybe just thinking of going outside. But any sort of exploration about this almost HAS to begin with an agreement within you (and all of your feelings), that's it's not something to be ashamed of. If we are ashamed of any of our behaviors, then we lose the ability to sit with them and see where they are coming from. This could be something that can be worked through in therapy, and specifically with a therapist who specializes in anxiety and more specifically, agoraphobia.


Input: I don't like going outside anymore

Instruction: I don't understand why this is happening. Why do I feel this way?

Output: The first step to answer your question is to reflect on what is going on in your life overall.  If you're in the midst of severe stress, whether within your relationship or effort to establish a relationship, upheaval in family dynamics, some type of significant loss like a job or someone with whom you feel closely attached, then you may simply be creating the solitude which is necessary to better understand and absorb the meaning of these changes.I assume you mean you are by yourself when you are indoors.What you write sounds like you're not happy with this recent urge rather than that you and someone or others are having great and fun times together.One way to encourage yourself to go back outdoors is to connect w a friend or search for an interest within you to develop.This way with either of these, you'd feel a little bit of motivation to join and get more involved with either of these.


Input: I'm worried about my new job

Instruction:
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Output: Anxiety can cause such a feeling of discomfort in our bodies that it can seem unbearable. The concern that I can hear in what you have written is that the thought of having some anxiety has now left you uncomfortable with any anxiety at all - and that can become a problem, indeed. As opposed to thinking about your anxiety as something much bigger than you, it could be helpful to start breaking it down. What are the things specifically that cause you anxiety about this new job? Is it being away from your family? If so, why? Once you start breaking down what causes you to feel anxiety into smaller "mouthfuls", then we are far better able to understand what has led to discomfort and start to problem solve the issue.


Input: I'm worried about my new job

Instruction:
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Output: ask them what they mean by that?  You're not alone. 1 in 13 globally suffers from anxiety. The WHO reports that anxiety disorders are the most common mental disorders worldwide. - Anxiety and Depression Association of America Immediate relief1. Get a hug from a loved one2. Enjoy aromatherapy3. Create artworkI am sending you one NOW 🤗


Input: I'm worried about my new job

Instruction:
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Output: CONGRATS to your new job!! You are working! You are taking care of your family!! Good FOR YOU!!! Transitions bring anxiety, but anxiety and anxiety attacks are treatable. Try utilizing some muscle relaxation techniques, massages, meditation, etc. I would also listen to things that help you to feel calm on the road, comedy stations that bring laughter, laughter is good for anxiety. Or listen to relaxing music, or biolateral sounds, or talking to a friend or a therapist while you're on the road. Hope this helps!


Input: I'm worried about my new job

Instruction:
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Output: Congrats on the new job! Why don't you take a moment and practice some self-appreciation for getting this job that's so important to you and your family.It sounds like you’re uncertain as to whether you have an anxiety disorder or not, so my first recommendation for you would be to see a licensed therapist or psychologist near you for a diagnosis.If you do live with anxiety and do have a history of panic attacks, you should seek therapy from an anxiety specialist who can help you develop techniques to manage anxiety and work through the underlying causes of anxiety. A good therapist will help you: Identify anxiety triggersName and scale the anxietyDevelop grounding toolsSet boundaries with family membersWork through past traumasSlowly expose yourself to the feared stimulusNotice and celebrate small wins I hope this answers your question and I wish you the best of luck in being able to get to and from your new job successfully, safely and calmly.


Input: I'm worried about my new job

Instruction:
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Output: Getting a new job is both exciting and scary. The bottom line is that you were hired because you CAN do this job. Take a moment to reflect on all of the hard work it took to get here. Next, identify habits that are proven to reduce the chance of anxiety attacks and plan how you can incorporate these into your routine. Habits may include getting a healthy amount of sleep, eating a balanced breakfast, avoiding social media, or meditating on the way to work. When or if feelings of anxiety do start to creep in, reassure yourself that this feeling is temporary and will pass. When you can, be mindful of your breathing and take some deep breaths in slower moments. Most importantly, have confidence in your ability to do well. After all, you were hired for a reason!


Input: I'm worried about my new job

Instruction:
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Output: It's understandable that you would experience anxiety as your job involves a long commute away from home. One of the ways to cope with this situation might be to think about all the good that will come out of the sacrifice you are making to  help support your family financially.There may be many other benefits you are drawing from working such as professional growth or other areas you can focus on. Doing a cost benefit analysis can also be helpful in identifying the advantages of this experience which may help decrease your worry. As a HeartMath Certified Practitioner, I would also recommend a deep breathing technique known as heart focused breathing. It is simple to do and will help you enjoy a sense of calm and ease whenever you feel you need it. All the very best to you.  Just click here:   Heart focused breathing


Input: I'm worried about my new job

Instruction:
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Output: One thing to know is that anxiety is not a bad thing--it is the body's natural response that mobilizes us to action.  If you think about it in terms of preparation, your anxiety is helping your body to be ready to perform through something important to you or protect you from harm.  A question worth asking is, what are you really afraid of happening if you have an anxiety attack while driving?  Are you worried you won't make it to your new job?  Are you scared of letting your family down?  Do you fear you will crash?  Knowing what you fear will happen because of your anxiety can help to determine where your mental focus would be best suited.  For example, if you fear you won't make it to your job, you can create a list of thoughts to support you through those fears (e.g., I am capable of making it to my new job, etc).Despite knowing the origin of your anxiety, it can still feel very scary to go through an anxiety attack.  Just anticipating anxiety can, ironically, increase your chances of experiencing it.  A really great way to manage this is via mindful breathing.  There are so many youtube videos and recordings of how to control your breathing in order to calm your body's anxiety response that work best even before you've felt a spike of fear.  Taking time each day to practice deep breathing, even for just a few minutes, can be a helpful tool to grounding yourself in the present moment vs fearing the unknown. Doing a practice run on the route you will be taking could also send a big message to the part of your brain that creates your fear response.  Practicing getting to your location can reduce that fear of the unknown, as well as teach your anxiety that you performed the drive once and nothing bad happened; in response, your anxiety doesn't feel a need to set off your alarm so loud.Something really important to remember is that having anxiety or an anxiety attack does not mean you are in danger.  Anxiety can feel awful, but it will always come back down.  Give yourself credit that you can make it through any response your body has--after all, that's what your body was built to do!


Input: I'm worried about my new job

Instruction:
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Output: First, congratulations on your new job.  Apparently your employers think highly of you, since they hired you!You say that "people keep telling" you that you have "anxiety" - how do they know?  Have you told others you are sometimes upset or nervous?  Have you been treated for anxiety?  Or is that a perception that others have that you haven't been able to counter?It's a new job, and it requires you to do new things, in new places, with new people.  Being nervous is not just normal, it may actually help you be on your toes and do a good job.  Unless YOU think you have anxiety, do not let others predict your future.If you believe you are anxious, get in to see a therapist and address it.  Anxiety is very treatable, and you don't have to suffer with it - but you do have to acknowledge it and work towards health.However....If, in  your experience, this is more a nervous energy than an anxiety issue, there are things you can do to address it:  Make sure you take good care of yourself, especially in the first month or two of the new job.  That means eating well, getting adequate rest, moving your body (walking, swimming, dancing, etc) every day, and staying in touch with friends and family who are positive and supportive.Below is an article I wrote that might give you more tips too.A quick way to combat stressDo you ever feel like your brain is"bouncy" and won't settle down? Your brain, that magnificent machine, is notmuch different than the brain that kept your ancestors alive in dangeroussituations.  Today, though you may notneed to worry about a mountain lion having you for dinner, other stresses areperceived and processed just you’re the physical dangers your ancestors faced.That means a looming deadline or a fight withyour partner creates the same "fight/flight/freeze" response thatsaved your ancestor way back in the day. If you "burned off" that adrenaline and cortisol cocktail byrunning or fighting off a predator, you would feel the relief and exhaustionbut you would have also metabolized the stress chemicals that are meant to keepyou alive. However, when there is no physical response tothe stressor your body is "all wound up with no place to go".  Over time this creates not only the"bouncy brain" feeling of distractibility and distress, but canmanifest itself in physical ailments.It’s impossible to avoid stress forever, butsometimes you just need a way to relieve the pressures of life for a moment.Here's a quick way to settle your brain into a feeling of rest instead ofdistress:Put one hand on your chest at collarbone leveland one on your belly just under your naval. Now, take a slow deep breath filling your abdomen with air, just likeyou would fill a glass with water...from the bottom up.  When you are full of air, pause for just amoment and really feel the fullness. Then slowly exhale, just like you would pour water out, from the topdown.  Pause again at "empty"and feel the relief of space.  Repeat for5-10 cycles.If you find yourself feeling stressed anddistressed too often, and you are a California resident, let’s talk!  Book a complimentary 15 minute video consulthere: abalancedapproach.com


Input: I'm worried about my new job

Instruction:
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Output: Its understandable to have anxiety when transitioning to a new job/career or any other major life change. Doing some mindfulness activities such as deep breathing exercises, grounding, or mindfulness meditation can help center and calm yourself in moments of anxiety when being away from your family.It may also be helpful to make a list of your concerns or fears about being away from your family. What are you afraid will happen while you are away? Once you've identified those fears you can challenge them and determine whether they are based on fact or your emotions.


Input: I'm worried about my new job

Instruction:
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Output: Hi, It is really good that you are working so hard to take care of your family. Anxiety can be so challenging, especially when new challenges have come up. It would be good to work through some of these issues you are experiencing, and examine your self care and support processes.


Input: I'm worried about my new job

Instruction:
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Output: Congratulations on your new job. Chances are, you accepted this opportunity knowing that sometimes, you feel heightened levels of anxiety while traveling (or at least, people are telling you this is true) Rather than working towards how to stop it from happening, it might make more sense to prepare for if it does: often, when we know how we might deal with a situation, the situation doesn't manifest. On a more broad scope, though, tools to minimize anxious feelings abound: there are apps (headspace or happify for example) therapy helps, and tools like yoga and meditation can help reduce anxious feelings too. Safe travels~


Input: I'm worried about my new job

Instruction:
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Output: Anxiety or panic attacks can be very frightening.  Here are a few "tools" you can use that will help in the short term:  Keeping your mind occupied by listening to books on tape may help;  Counting backwards from 100 in 7's; Naming cities that begin with each letter of the alphabet; Keeping some ice or an ice pack in a cooler beside you, which you may take out and hold in your hand or to your face; Soothing self-talk such as "This is uncomfortable, but I can handle it" or "I've been through this before and can make it through again".  I recommend that you seek out a Therapist to help you with some long-term solutions to the anxiety.  Additionally, learning to breathe into the abdomen and practicing this daily is another long-term solution.  Yoga and meditation would be great!


Input: I'm worried about my new job

Instruction:
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Output: Bravo, on your success in securing a job and also for being proactive with your need. Starting a new job can be scary and having to travel away from your home and family can make it even more anxiety provoking. Do allow yourself to be anxious about this new journey, we can be hard on ourselves, think if it was a friend that was turning to you for help, what solutions would you have offered them, but also continue to seek to secure right support as well. Talking to your physician is always a good place to start; your physician can tell you if there are organic influences causing your anxiety that may be out of your control. Additionally, talking to close or compassionate family and friends is always good. It is important that you turn to supportive people at the time of emotional need, talking about our challenges can help break the cycle of anxiety at least momentarily. Remember, to further your success, it requires a healthy self, if you have supportive relationships relying on and turning to people who can be there without judgment is great. Healthy lifestyle like eating right, sleeping enough, and regular exercise also never fails to help improve overall emotional health. Additional self-care measures such as repeated relaxation practices can help you become more familiar with your nervous systems reactivity and you can implement strategies to ease anxiety in various situations as it demands. The more resources the better you will be equipped to manage challenges and concerns at the time notice.  You can find a lot from the internet too, use your best judgment as what may not be appropriate for you there are some wonderful apps on most smartphones that can help you learn and practice grounding strategies to ease anxiety. If you have access to a therapy you find more specific strategies that would best fit your needs. Good luck, wish you a happy journey and much success.


Input: I'm worried about my new job

Instruction:
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Output: First of all, congratulations on your new role! Transitions can be challenging, and it sounds like you are experiencing a lot of change.  This would be difficult for many people, and it seems that you have an added layer of challenge.  I recommend visiting a therapist to determine the root cause of your anxiety and working to unravel those causes piece by piece. I know seeing a therapist can be challenging when traveling, and online counseling could be a good solution. In the meantime, here are a few of my favorite anxiety stopping strategies.  1. Grounding Exercises: When you feel your anxiety increasing, take a deep breath and begin things in your room (or where ever you are) that have things in common. For example, name all of the blue things that you can see.  You can also do non-visual grounding exercises like naming all of the hte sports teams you can think of or all of the state capitals.  This will get your mind off of your anxiety and connect you to space.  2. The pretzel: This is a seated pose that will stop any anxiety attack in its tracks.  Start in a seated position and cross your dominate leg over your nondominant leg. Then, stretch your arms out in front of you with the back of your hands facing one another.  Cross your arms in front of each other so that your palms are touching.  Flip your arms into your body.  You will end with your elbows by your side and your hands crossed under your chin.  Close your eyes and take long breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth.  This calming pose will help you get through even the toughest of panic episodes. 3. Bilateral stimulation and visualization: Start in a seated position with your hands placed on your knees. Tap each knee in an alternating pattern. Close your eyes and begin visualizing a peaceful setting. The combination of bilateral stimulation and visualization will help calm your body and mind.  I could go on and on, but these techniques should get you started.  These techniques should help you manage anxiety in a pinch.  Best of luck!


Input: I'm worried about my new job

Instruction:
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Output: It is ok to have anxiety.   Please don't be anxious about being anxious.If you feel anxiety coming over you, then pull off the road to a safe place.   Concentrate on centering yourself and to breath slowly.   Take some sips of water.  Sit still.     The anxiety should pass in about twenty minutes.If it does not pass, then continue calming yourself until you feel safe enough to drive to your hotel.     You can always explain to your supervisor that you were taking care of a medical problem, because anxiety is a medical problem.


Input: I'm worried about my new job

Instruction:
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Output: Anxiety often occurs when big or unexpected changes come to our lives, like having new jobs, relocating, or assuming new roles. Notice if your anxiety feels like excitement, concerns, or fear.It seems like you are excited about your new job, but worried because OTHERS are telling you that you have anxiety.   Let's notice how other‘s input is affecting your thoughts and maybe causing more anxiety that you may really have.   If you are indeed experiencing anxiety, that does not mean that you will have panic attacks.   But if you are experiencing panic attacks, or suffer them at some point, you could learn how to reduce them either with therapy or medication.You can learn how to process it depending what triggers it and channel it, in a useful way.  For example, you could plan a schedule around your new job and be meticulous about it because you are worried about how your new job may affect your routine, or, you could feel overwhelmed with your schedule, focus on the feeling, but not do anything about it.  Notice the difference?  The key is in recognizing if you are anxious about something that you can change or have control over it, and take action if you do, and recognizing when you cannot control things and be OK with not being in control.I teach clients how to use meditation and cognitive reframing techniques to help calm anxiety symptoms.  If you are interested in engaging in counseling or teletherapy you may contact me at 787-466-5478.I wish you success on your new journey!Estoy preocupada por mi nuevo trabajoLa gente me dice que tengo ansiedad y estoy aterrorizada de tener un ataque de pánico en la carretera.  Esto es nuevo par a mí. ¿Que puedo hacer?La ansiedad ocurre comúnmente cuando llegan cambios grandes o inesperados en nuestras vidas, como tener un nuevo empleo, mudarse o asumir nuevos roles.Al parecer estás emocionada por tu nuevo trabajo, pero preocupada por que OTROS te dicen que tienes ansiedad.  Notemos como la opinión de otros esta influenciando tus pensamientos y tal vez te puede estar causando más ansiedad de lo que realmente tienes.  Si realmente estas pasando por un periodo de ansiedad, no es necesario que vayas a experimentar ataques de pánico.  Pero si ya los haz experimentado puedes utilizar terapia o medicamentos para controlarlos.Nota si tu ansiedad se siente emocionante, preocupada o temerosa.  Puedes aprender a procesar estos sentimientos dependiendo que pensamiento los causen y canalizar la ansiedad de manera productiva.  Por ejemplo: te puedes enfocar en organizar una agenda porque te preocupa como tu nuevo empleo afectara tu rutina diaria.  O te puedes sentir agobio respecto a cómo tu trabajo afecta tu rutina, y no hace nada más que preocuparte constantemente.  ¿Notas la diferencia?  La clave está en saber cuándo te preocupas  por algo que puedes cambiar, y tomar acción; vs. cuando te preocupas  por algo que no puedes cambiar y aceptar que no lo puedes cambiar.Le enseño a mis pacientes a  usar técnicas de meditación y re enfoque cognitivo para manejar síntomas de ansiedad  y desorden de pánico.  Si te interesa una cita de consejería o tele-terapia me puedes contactar al 787-466-5478. ¡Mucho éxito en tu nueva jornada!


Input: I'm worried about my new job

Instruction:
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
   People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Output: There are lots of things you can do, but first: Congratulations on your new job!  Commuting long distances can be stressful, but there are some things you can do.First, make sure that your seating arrangement in your car is comfortable. If you are driving long distances on a regular basis, you want to make sure that your body is in a comfortable position. Second, select some music or podcasts that work for you, rather than against you. Soothing music is good, as well as inspirational podcasts. Alternatively, listening to books can be a great way to spend the time, improve your mood, and find inspiration. Third, make sure that you have plenty of time for your commute. If the drive normally takes you 30 minutes, plan on 45 (or if it's 45 minutes, plan on an hour). This way you won't be rushed, can take your time, can focus on your driving, and if traffic is a bit backed up, you've got plenty of time to reach your destination.Finally, if you do find yourself being anxious in a way that impedes your driving, pull over to the side of the road, take some deep breaths, and sit with your feelings. Take a deep drink of water. Consider jotting your feelings down in a journal. If its safe, get out of the car and walk around a bit, stretching you muscles and breathing in the air.But most of all, be kind to yourself. I wish you much success in your new job.


Input: Can I control anxiety without medication?

Instruction: I had a head injury a few years ago and my mind races all the time. I have trouble sleeping and have a lot of anxiety. Every medicine I have been on my body rejects; I get sick to my stomach and get blisters in my mouth. How can I calm my self down? I'm a wreck.

Output: You didn't say what or how many medications you've tried. Certain anxiety medications can make you feel nauseous, but I haven't heard of any that cause mouth blisters, so there may be some other underlying medical issue there. I would definitely talk to your primary care physician and whoever has prescribed the medication as well as a neurologist if you've suffered a severe head injury. There are so many medications available for anxiety or insomnia or even depression that there may be others with lesser side effects.But beyond that, have you tried any other treatments such as deep breathing or meditation? Meditation can be very effective, but it takes practice and you don't have to sit cross-legged for hours chanting "Ohm" to meditate. It's about focusing on your breath, rather than all the thoughts that are racing through your head. And when they do take your mind off your breath, simply refocus (and refocus and refocus). Like I said, it takes practice, so don't give up. You can find many sites offering different ways to meditate, so look around and see what works best for you. Like medication, you just have to find the one that works best and that might take some experimentation.I hope this helps and best of luck to you.


Input: How can I deal with my best friend, whom I have a crush on, having a crush on someone else?

Instruction: I've known my best friend for eight years, and I've slowly begun to form a crush on him. I sort of thought he liked me back until he told me about his actual crush. I have really bad anxiety over this.

Output: That must feel heartbreaking to you.  Where do you think that anxiety comes from?  I would try some self-reflecting to see what comes up there.  Maybe you are worried about losing your best friend, or something completely different.  It's understandable that you would have a lot of feelings in this situation, especially since this person is very close to you.  The dealing with it part is probably going to be pretty tough.   You are processing through circumstances that you probably can't talk to him, your best friend, about.  Do you have anyone else you can talk through it with?  Maybe another good friend or someone that knows the situation?  When we're most in need sometimes we become more aware of who around us can be of help.  A counselor can help here, too if that's an option you are considering or have access to.If he does start leaning on you to talk about his crush, there may be some boundaries that you could consider putting up.  That may mean distancing from him a bit, or telling him how you feel.  That part is all up to what you feel most right doing and what works best for your friendship.  Try to remember that you are not less than just because he may not reciprocate the same romantic feelings you do.  We are all worthy of that kind of love.


Input: How do I get over my anxiety of talking to new people?

Instruction: I'm socially awkward. I've always want to be popular. I've had the opportunity to be popular, but every time I get i,t I'm too scared. All I have to do is talk the popular people. They're really nice to me, but I'm too scared of change. I really want to work up the courage to lose my fear.

Output: Talking to people can be pretty scary.  When we talk to people, sometimes we overanalyze what we say or how we react in fear that we will seem weird or they won't like us, which makes us appear awkward.  So that overthinking piece can ironically work against us.When you talk to them, really spend time to listen to what they are saying.  Your default may be to think about how you will respond or what's cool to say, but people like it best (usually) when you are genuine and yourself.  If you focus on what you are paying attention to (them), then you will naturally have a response.  If you can overthink about yourself, you can definitely have some thoughts pop up when talking to other people!Also keep in mind that if the conversations turn out to be less than you'd hoped for, that's OK.  I'm assuming you are in high school, but in any situation with peers, if they don't like you then they aren't worth all your worry and effort.  Give change a chance--you've endured change in your life before this, so let it happen again.  You are in control here--you get to choose who you talk to and don't talk to.  That can be powerful!


Input: How do I get over my anxiety of talking to new people?

Instruction: I'm socially awkward. I've always want to be popular. I've had the opportunity to be popular, but every time I get i,t I'm too scared. All I have to do is talk the popular people. They're really nice to me, but I'm too scared of change. I really want to work up the courage to lose my fear.

Output: Give yourself credit here!  It sounds like you are liked and people want to get to know you!  I would wonder with you, what is the self-talk going on when you get too scared to talk to people?  Those statements are probably connected to some core beliefs (I'm __________, I'll never __________, I'm not __________________, etc.), which probably need to be examined for truth and challenged!  Often times, practice helps!  You could start by having a conversation with someone you already feel comfortable with, but talk about a topic you've never discussed before.  Next, you could strike up conversation with someone who is new to you, but for a brief time, like a cashier or waitress/waiter.   Keep taking steps towards practicing talking to new people, and build your skills and confidence with each conversation.  Sure, you'll probably feel awkward and uncomfortable and say some silly things, but you'll also probably say some brilliant things, and you're doing it!  Eventually, you'll probably feel more comfortable talking to the people who you'd like to talk to, without so much fear. Learning new things are tough!  Once you get some practice and confidence under your belt, you can get more and more comfortable with your abilities to talk to new people.


Input: How do I get over my anxiety of talking to new people?

Instruction: I'm socially awkward. I've always want to be popular. I've had the opportunity to be popular, but every time I get i,t I'm too scared. All I have to do is talk the popular people. They're really nice to me, but I'm too scared of change. I really want to work up the courage to lose my fear.

Output: Change can be uncomfortable, but sometimes those uncomfortable moments are the opportunity for us to be the person we feel we really are.  It sounds like you like to spend the time in your head anticipating the worst, why not be in the present and encourage yourself that you can talk to people and it will be okay.  By telling yourself it will not be okay, or that it will go wrong you are hurting your confidence to do what you want.  Give yourself some credit for being awesome and tell yourself you can build new friendships...it may be the motivation you need to move past this fear.


Input: I feel burned out

Instruction: I haven't been feeling like myself lately. I've been upset for no reason and feeling anxious. I'm feeling burnt out. What can help me feel better?

Output: I would first say that those are difficult thoughts and feelings that sound exhausting. I can't image how this must feel, but I can assure you that you are not alone. These are common experiences in our society where we are made to feel as though we must "go go go". Especially in the current world situation, even simple things can feel overwhelming. I believe that starting with "baby steps" such as taking even 10-20 minutes for yourself daily to be in the quiet and reflect can be helpful. Recognizing that even small self-care steps such as drinking more water, eating healthier foods, or taking a hot bath can be helpful to relieve stress.


Input: I feel burned out

Instruction: I haven't been feeling like myself lately. I've been upset for no reason and feeling anxious. I'm feeling burnt out. What can help me feel better?

Output: It's OK that you are going through that, even though it is probably very miserable.  Feeling burnt out is usually a sign that something is out of balance in our lives and we need to make some adjustments.How are boundaries set up in your life?  If these are lacking in your work life, social life, or personal life, that could be draining.  This can be all too true for people that feel like putting up boundaries is selfish or that others will reject you if you do; however, realistic boundaries are super healthy for both yourself and others. For example, I have a boundary on how many people I see in a week and when I discuss work-related issues--this helps me take care of myself in ways that make me a better counselor and lets other people know exactly what I expect so there's no guessing.Another question to consider is, what are you doing to recharge from stressors?  We tend to get so caught up in responsibilities that we miss opportunities to slow down.  We try to put a blind eye to how we are feeling and just push through, but our bodies will tell us when it's too much, whether that's through physical pain, emotional pain, or both. Consider the metaphor of a car:  if you are low on gas, your gas light comes on.  You can keep driving, but eventually you're going to need to stop and fill up, no matter how badly you want to make it to the next exit. Anxiety and other feelings popping up may be a sign you are just too overwhelmed and need to recharge!How you attempt that may look different from others.  What brings you joy?  Is there a person or people that recharge you?  Or do you recharge better doing something alone?  If you feel it's a struggle to find answers to these questions, try to remember things that have peaked your interests and brought you joy in the past.  It could be something as simple as taking a walk, creating something, baking, etc.  It can be a process, so no matter how quickly you want to move through this, just be patient with yourself!


Input: I feel burned out

Instruction: I haven't been feeling like myself lately. I've been upset for no reason and feeling anxious. I'm feeling burnt out. What can help me feel better?

Output: Does it help to put a name to the experience you are having? Where you first said, "I've been upset for no reason and feeling anxious," you then say that you are "feeling burnt out," which gives a little more context to what may have once felt like "no reason." Perhaps you are feeling burnt out! That is a big deal, and please try not to take it lightly! When we get burnt out, I have found that it's from one of two things: either we are not doing what we want, or we are doing too much (either of something we want or something we don't, doesn't really matter once we get into doing too much.)If either of those rings true for your experience, try as much as possible to sit with the experience and get a better sense of where the burn out is coming from. I wrote about burnout for a newsletter and it is on my website. I don't want to do shameless promotion, but I thought it could also add to helping you: https://davidkleintherapy.com/my-experiences-with-burnout/I hope that you can also see that it's not an abnormal experience.


Input: I feel burned out

Instruction: I haven't been feeling like myself lately. I've been upset for no reason and feeling anxious. I'm feeling burnt out. What can help me feel better?

Output: There's no such possibility that you're upset for "no reason"!The reason is not obvious, not that you are feeling upset in response to nothing at all.What can help you feel better is to be kind and gentle with yourself because this sort of approach will more likely relax your mood and mindset enough for the tension and anxiety you feel, to dissipate somewhat.Try to understand whether certain situations or interactions remind you or feel similar to ones which distressed you before.This may be the reason for your anxiety.It is good news that you know the difference between your usual sense of yourself and that you've been away from this feeling.Give yourself a little credit for understanding yourself.   Giving credit adds confidence and confidence will help you find the reasons and new ways to handle your anxiety.


Input: How can I avoid thinking much?

Instruction: I start thinking deeply about everything I may do or say and about anything that may happen. I really want to avoid it since it really bothers me.

Output: As you know (probably very well), those types of thinking patterns are energy suckers.  I'm assuming you are often tired and don't sleep as well as you could, especially as our thoughts tend to creep up on us when we are trying to fall asleep.One thing to know is that those thought patterns are a protective mechanism.  Ruminating on what could happen and how we will respond is how we feel prepared for what's to come.  In a logical sense, there's so much uncertainty in life that trying to plan all that out is nearly impossible.  Although not a bad idea to have a game plan or rehearse how you are going to respond to conflict, endlessly revisiting those things tend to take away from why we want to be prepared in the first place--to protect our well-being (in any aspect).  The trick is how to calm the brain which is so much easier said than done!  To start, take the time to write your thoughts down.  You can do that via journaling, or by splitting a piece of paper into two categories (one side is helpful planning and other side unhelpful planning).  The brain is a spectacular organ, but sometimes we really need to see things externally to be able to process them effectively.  Excessive worry is really a result of pretty significant fears--whether those fears come from not feeling like you can handle situations, that other people can't handle things, that you will lose something important to you, or that you will fail.  Writing about those fears could help you understand where those thoughts are coming from, or you could even talk those out with a friend or counselor.  Sometimes someone else's feedback about our situations can change how we see things since we tend to get perpetually stuck in the same perspectives.My last suggestion is to work on trying to stay in the present via mindfulness, at least 5 minutes a day.  It's probably going to feel foreign and weird, maybe even scary, since you live more in the future vs the present moment.  It's common for the brain to respond by trying to push back into those thinking patterns, but mindfulness actually increases your ability to problem-solve and see things more clearly.  Constant anxiety clouds us.  Mindfulness clears that out.  And I'm sure you really could use a brain break!


Input: How do I calm down during a panic attack?

Instruction: I have a panic attack at least once a week and suffer from severe anxiety.

Output: I'm sorry you're going through that.  Panic attacks are terrifying.One thing to start with is knowing that panic attacks are not going to hurt you and your anxiety will come down with time.  Fighting that process can sometimes heighten symptoms because your brain wants the message of panic to be heard.  Some of the best ways to counter that message is through focusing on the present moment through sensations or breathing.  Taking deep breaths allows your body and brain to slow down, sending the message that there's no present danger.  Focusing on the present can also send the same message, as anxiety typically throws us into the "what ifs" of the future.  If you search google or pinterest, there are tons of methods you can use for this---some people prefer to focus on colors, shapes, smells, textures, etc., while other prefer to pay attention to internal sensations.  There are also apps that can help with these techniques, such as Calm and Headspace.  They work best when you aren't in a panic attack or when you feel one coming on.  If you are already at the peak of an attack, they can still help, it just may take a bit longer.  Some clients I have like to track their anxiety with a scale system.  Let's say you scale your anxiety at an 8 out of 10, do some breathing exercises for 5 minutes, then scale it again.  It's likely the anxiety decreased, at least to a 7 or 7.5.  Doing this can give you some physical proof that you have some control over your body.  You can also scale it without the breathing to see how it just fluctuates on its own.  Anxiety will always go down and you can see that happening via numbers.  This method will let you see the light at the end of the tunnel.There are other ways that might work for you via a quick google search, or through therapy.  Keep trying new things until you find what works best for you!


Input: What can I do when I feel like my life is out of control?

Instruction: I was in a car accident and totaled my car. I gave up my job of nine years to pursue school full-time to better myself. I failed a class, and my boyfriend that I live with thinks I’m stupid and wants to break up with me. I have nowhere to go, and I feel like I’m losing everything.

Output: Doesn't sound like your boyfriend is a source of support and I'm really sorry to hear that.  And my assumption is that the car accident was traumatic for you and still impacts you in some ways.By just reading what you wrote, I'm not sure what that impact has been on you, but I get the impression that maybe you are now carless and have no reliable method of transportation to get to school or other places you need to go.  Maybe you are also scared to be in a vehicle?  My first thought after reading this is that I wouldn't be thrilled about getting into a car if mine was totaled in an accident.  It may even incite terror.  None of that is your fault--it's an expected response to a horrible situation.My second thought was that you are obviously very committed and reliable if you had a job of nine years.  Not to mention brave for stepping out of the comfort of a job to pursue school full-time.  That's a giant transition that you should get so much credit for, from yourself and from the people closest to you.  Failing doesn't mean you made the wrong decision. I've failed classes as well when I was just starting out in college.  It truly doesn't mean anything about you--it just means that things got in the way and you can either try again, or learn something about yourself (or both) and what you want out of an academic career.  The feelings around failing may feel raw at the moment, but readdress them in a couple weeks or a month and notice how your perspective may change, as well as the steps you may take despite the situation.  Be careful of how much your boyfriend is contributing to how you feel about yourself, too.  I'm guessing you already felt pretty terrible, then his words or actions rubbed it in.  Who do you have in your life that is compassionate toward you?  If you aren't sure, seeking out a counselor can be really great with all the emotions of a big transition like you are going through.  In the meantime, focus on the things you have total control over--your breath, little choices that you make throughout the day, etc.  Mindfulness and meditation can be a way for you to get some peace and slow down from the chaos of your life and thoughts.


Input: What can I do when I feel like my life is out of control?

Instruction: I was in a car accident and totaled my car. I gave up my job of nine years to pursue school full-time to better myself. I failed a class, and my boyfriend that I live with thinks I’m stupid and wants to break up with me. I have nowhere to go, and I feel like I’m losing everything.

Output: When we feel overwhelmed by life situations, it is important to understand where the feeling is coming from.  Once we understand the source, it is important to normalize the situations that got us there and find balance in our lives.First, car accidents are common, and since they are accidents they are not a reflection of us.   When we have an accident we feel anxious, worried, and may have some trauma after the accidents.  If you have been experiencing anxiety since the car accident, talk to your doctor or therapist about it.  Second, a lot of people fail classes, tasks, deadlines, etc. but they don’t give up on their goal.  We have to remember that failing is part of the learning process, and having the courage to try again is what gives us determination and character.  Remind yourself what motivated you to leave your job, and the courage and determination that took to do so, then channel that energy back into school.  Third, when we have problems in our relationships, is helpful to look for ways to improve communication, discuss our concerns and how we want to resolve them, but it may be that the relationship needs to end if there isn’t enough interest in one of the parts or if there’s verbal or emotional abuse.  Consider talking to your boyfriend and set some boundaries regarding appropriate communication.At all times:  focus on being kind to yourself and improving your self-esteem: increase self-care activities, do more things that you enjoy, meditate in what gives you peace and make an effort to have more of that in your life.   At the end, you are the one in control of your life, and you determine who you become.¿Qué puedo hacer cuando siento que mi vida está fuera de control?Estuve en un accidente de auto, y fue pérdida total.  Deje mi trabajo de 9 años para completar un grado a tiempo completo.  Falle una clase, y mi novio piensa que soy estúpida, el quiere dejarme.  No tengo a donde ir y siento que lo estoy perdiendo todo.Cuando nos sentimos agobiados es importante reconocer donde estamos parados y entender de donde vienen esas emociones.  Ya que entendemos la fuente de agobio, es importante normalizar las situaciones que lo causaron, y volver a encontrar el balance en nuestra vida.Primero, los accidentes de auto son comunes, y por ser accidentes no son un reflejo de nosotros o nuestras destrezas.  Cuando experimentamos accidentes no s sentimos ansiosos, preocupados, y puede que experimentemos algún trauma.  Si sientes ansiedad, extrema preocupación habla con tu doctor o terapista al respecto.  Segundo, muchas personas fallan clases, tareas, fechas de entrega, pero no se rinden.  Tenemos que recordar que fallar es parte del proceso de aprendizaje, y tener el valor de intentarlo de nuevo, es lo que nos da determinación y carácter.   Recuerda que te impulsó a dejar tu trabajo y canaliza esa energía en la escuela.  Tercero,  cuando tenemos problemas en las relaciones, es importante comunicar nuestras preocupaciones y diferencias, pero puede ser que la relación termine si no hay interés mutuo o si hay algún tipo de abuso.   Considera hablar con tu novio y establecer límites respecto a la comunicación apropiada.En todo momento: enfócate en cuidarte a ti misma y mejorar tu autoestima, aumenta las actividades que te ayudan a sentirte bien, medita sobre lo que te paz y pasa más tiempo practicando esas actividades.