Prompt: So I know the title sounds really bad but hear me out.  My friends were talking about our sexuality and then we got to the topic of homophobic people.  They were all talking about how all of them are trash and I said that some people were led to believe that and if they are trying to stop I feel like they aren't  bad right? My friends got really upset at me and said that if I continue defending homophobic people they are going to kick me put of the group chat so I just left it by myself.  I mean some homophobic people are trying not to be and we can't just say that they are trash just because their parents taught them that.  Now I feel kinda bad about saying that. ######

Response:
 YTA -

The fact that some homophobes become not homophobic doesn't necessitate an impassioned defense of said hypothetical ex-homophobe just because someone said they don't like homophobes.

Your friend's comments were clear in-context and if you're often antagonizing everyone with nit-picky hand-wringing like this, I can understand why they'd want to kick you out of the group. ######


Prompt:
Throw away because my girlfriend is on Reddit and knows my account.

Yesterday, my girlfriend showed me a building she was building in Minecraft. I asked her if I can look around the place, and when she went to the bathroom, I found a lot of TNT in one of the chests and thought it would be funny to prank her by exploding the place.

When she came back and saw it, she got **extremely** upset, almost as upset as one would be if they got their real house burned down. She even cried, and she now won't talk to me.

I thought it was just a game and not worth getting that angry over. I think she's so invested in it to the point that she cares about her Minecraft cat more than actual people in her life. It was meant to be a prank, but she's turning it to big deal. ######

Response:
 YTA -  If your girlfriend was a painter, painted something beautiful and wanted to know if you liked it, and then you threw it on the ground and smeared feces all over it...are you the asshole or is she overreacting to a prank?

Activities with progression aren't "just a..." anything.  People spend time creating.  And you weren't a rival or a competitor in game, so there's no gameplay explanation either.

Now rebuild it. ######


Prompt:
I’ll try and keep this as short as possible. My girlfriend loves musicals. I hate them. I find them incredibly stupid and unnecessary. Anywhere we take turns having a movie night I constantly have to veto her musical stuff. She’s mad because she watches all of my stuff but I won’t watch her stuff (I just won’t watch her musicals.. but that’s like atleast 50% of what she wants to watch).

Anyway she tried to suggest a musical again tonight and I said “are you gonna fucking pick something else for once? Seriously?” And she got pissed and asked my why I hate musicals so much and feel the need to “shit on her passions”. And I just said well because they’re fucking stupid and serve no purpose. I don’t have any other reason. She got even more mad and just said fine and she left the room and told me to watch my own movie. I feel like she’s overreacting. I feel like you shouldn’t force people to watch your shit taste in movies. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA -  “are you gonna fucking pick something else for once? Seriously?”  - Disrespectful and mean.
Nothing to do with Musicals. ######


Prompt:
Me: 20/f

Stepsister: 23/f

Parents: 40s m/f

I have a younger brother (18/m) but he is staying with my mom and stepdad for reasons.

Corona virus basically ruined my college experience.  The school closed down when we were on spring break, so a lot of my stuff is still there.  My best friends and boyfriend live far away and I can only see them through zoom and Skype until it’s safe to travel again. My internship for the summer has been cancelled and it's nearly impossible to get another job.  We were planning a memorial day trip too and that's obviously been put on hold.

I also had to give up my freedom and move back in with my dad and step family, which has been a huge adjustment.  My dad is very religious and doesn't allow things like drinking, smoking, etc. I have to follow their religion (Evangelical Christian if it matters) while I'm here.

My stepsister (S) is learning disabled and has a seizure disorder.  She doesn't really leave the house too much on a normal basis except to go to church and occasionally do things with them. So she has her own set up and routines around the house.  In some ways this is better for her, because she can attend more social events virtually.

I was talking with my boyfriend over zoom about how depressed I've been.  Stepsister jumped in and said it's been "SOOOOOOOO hard" for her too.  I was honestly fed up at that point that my privacy was invaded AGAIN plus it felt like she was minimizing what I have gone through.  So I snapped at her, "what do you mean, it's hard for you?  Your life has barely changed, my life has been ruined." She of course ran and told my dad, who yelled at me and basically called me an AH.  I stomped up to my room and shut the door.

I feel bad, but I don't think I'm being an asshole.  But am I? ######

Response: YTA  Your life hasn't been ruined. People are dying and oh, boo hoo, you don't have all your way and the whole world isn't accommodating your needs and you think you're worse off than your sister with a SEIZURE disorder.  Quite the piece of work. ######


Prompt: My friend had been dating a girl for about 10 months and I could tell that he really loved her. Whenever we would hang out she would be there too and I didn't really have a problem with it because she was pretty cool. About 2 weeks ago he asked me if I wanted to chill at the skatepark. When I got there I noticed that she wasn't there so I asked where she was. He told me that before he called me they had got into a big fight but he didn't tell me what it was about. That night we went over to his cousins house to chill. He was really down the whole time and it's understandable why. Skip ahead about 2 days he told me that she had moved on but they were going camping with a group of friends. That night not only did she fuck one of his close friends she also hit on basically all the guys there in front of him. He found out about it and me and his cousins told him to just move on but he was too stuck on her. We told him that theres no point in forgiving her. Later that same day he told his cousin that he had taken a shower with her and they fucked. And we told him that she was no good and he should move on  before he gets hurt any more than he already has. We made it clear to him that we thought she was a slut and he got angry at us and said that he still loved her and that he wanted to try and fix things with her. I doubt this will get any attention but if it does please let me know what you think. We're trying to look out for him but he just doesn't wanna hear what we have to say. ######

Response:
 YTA  You're justified in not liking this girl, but it does you no good to call her names, & it will only alienate him from you. You can be honest & say that you think its an unhealthy relationship, but putting her down (& dismissing/belittling his feelings in the process) will only make him feel like he cant talk to you about her or any problems they might have. Try empathizing with him, but encourage him to set better boundaries with her.

EDIT: I also don't agree with the use of slut shaming, regardless of how you feel. The ppl she slept with apparently don't respect your friend anymore than she does, so are you calling them out in the same way? ######


Prompt:
Me (M23) and my girlfriend (F23) have been together for 2 years. Me, my gf, Bob (the gay friend), we were classmate back in highschool. I didn't date her back then and Bob didn't come out at the time. I'm not a close friend with Bob to know if he's gay or not, but my he's my gf's best friend after graduation, and she said he is.

So she has always wanted to climb Mount Fansipan in Sapa, Vietnam. Today she asked me if I wanted to join her and Bob to go on a 2 day 1 night trip in Sapa. I declined the offer because of my study schedule. She replied that she would continue the trip with Bob. I already told her that I didn't like the idea of my gf spending a trip with a dude, wether he's gay or not, but I would not stand in her way. I would be very happy if she called off the trip and waited til August once I've finished with the semester. She didn't want to call it off, kept saying that Bob's gay, and I was being weird about it.

Some info: She one cancelled another trip with Bob because I didn't like the idea of they would share a bed in a room to save money. In this trip they would sleep in tents in the nature. I just don't know if they will sleep in separate tents or share a tent ######

Response:
 YTA  This is petty and ridiculous.  If Bob was straight, you'd still be ridiculous.  You either trust your girlfriend, or you don't. If you don't even trust your girlfriend with someone who is gay because she can't even associate with any other penis but yours, you've got issues.

If you don't trust your girlfriend, you shouldn't be with her. Sounds like she's tired of your controlling nature so you may not be for long. ######


Prompt:
So for the people who dont know. ABG is a popular term used in Asian American culture where a asain female goes and takes a lot from black and white culture and is normally talking to a lot of guys at once.

Now this morning I woke to find out my(15M) sister(18F) dyed her hair blond. Which I then made a comment saying "ah we are going full ABG I see." She ask what I meant which I said that she dyed her hair blond. She then said that doesnt mean I'm a ABG I just wanted to try something new. I told her she wears a lot of street wear and drink a lot if boba not to be a ABG. She reminded me that I wear a lot of the same brands she does and I agreed. She then got really upset which I tried to explain to her i was just joking but she wasnt having any of it and she started coming at me for the stuff i do like how i play a lot of league of legends so i must be a stereotype. I told her she was taking it way to personally and i left the room. ######

Response:
 YTA

>she started coming at me for the stuff i do like how i play a lot of league of legends so i must be a stereotype. I told her she was taking it way to personally and i left the room.

Don't start none, won't be none. ######


Prompt:
This happened back in Feb but it’s still an issue which she brought up recently.

The title makes me sound like I’m definitely the asshole, but just let me explain:

So my (25M) girlfriend (25F) was picking up something at my workplace. This is an office job, but it’s very stressful. Anyway, I went down to the lobby to handoff the thing my girlfriend needed. I went back up right after.

Later that night, my girlfriend was telling me how she went to the bathroom in the lobby, and there was this girl quietly crying. My girlfriend said she stayed for a little bit and comforted her.

Now the reason I am really annoyed by this is because that girl had got into a *huge* argument with out boss (she was clearly in the wrong though). She was acting super arrogant about something and basically got chewed out by our boss. He was seriously pissed. Basically what happened was, our boss asked her to get him a tea bag from our coffee station. She thought she was to good for that (this is something that we all have to do from time to time) and they got into a huge argument.

Our boss just told her to go home for the day, and the other bosses (our boss’s peers) didn’t say anything.

Obviously people talk, and pretty much everyone agrees that that girl was in the wrong. Sure none of us *like* having to do that stuff, but it rarely happens.

Anyway so I guess the girl was crying in the lobby and when my girlfriend told me about what happened, I instantly recognized who she was talking about.

I told my girlfriend that I really wish she hadn’t done that because I didn’t want it to somehow seem like I, by relation, was taking sides against my boss, especially considering that this girl was the one who started the whole conflict.

My girlfriend says that regardless, it’s “empathetic” to still try to comfort her then. Even once I’ve explained everything, she still doesn’t think she did anything wrong. She said I’m being really cold about this. Am I the wrong one? ######

Response:
 YTA   I don't blame that girl for not wanting to be the boss's little fetch it girl.  He's got legs.

And if you were to be fired for "allowing" your girlfriend to comfort that crying girl,  do you REALLY want to work at a place with such a crappy boss?   I wouldn't want to. ######


Prompt:
I'm 38M and  my sister is 35F

When my sister was 21 she got pregnant from a one night stand, baby didnt make it unfortunately which devastated my sister but with therapy she moved on.

She met her partner a year later, four years ago she had their first child.

We're currently living with my mother to stay close together.

We got onto the topic of children and while I don't want children (neither does my partner) apparently my sisters partner wants another one so that way their child has a sibling.

She changed subject quickly  and we moved on to another subject.

We got speaking about it later and I asked her if she wanted another child, basically she said she didnt believe her son needed a sibling.

I said,, "*well, he technically already has a sibling doesn't he?*"

Apparently her partner overheard and they got into a huge argument because she hadnt told him.

She's upset with me for talking about it at all and for basically telling her husband

And her partner is upset with her, it's all a huge thing.

My mother thinks I should've never mentioned it and believes I'm out of order here.

I think her partner should've known anyway

AITA?

She had a stillbirth for everyone wondering. ######

Response:
 YTA

And even if you think 'her partner should have known anyway', it's not your place to tell him, it's not your news to tell.

You've shown a real lack of empathy here - what happened to her may be one of the most traumatic things she's ever gone through and you just casually bring it up like that when her partner's around? At best, you were inconsiderate and rude. At worst, you did it on purpose because you wanted her partner to find out, which is spiteful and scheming. I hope it's the former. ######


Prompt:
Since being at home, my wife and I have had a lot of extra time to watch movies and TV shows. Most of the time we swap off who picks the movie. However, I feel that we have pretty different tastes. I appreciate movies that are more subtle and realistic, and she likes action-packed, over-the-top type films.

The last few movies I picked were Richard Jewell, Dark Waters, The Farewell, and Just Mercy, and they were all incredible.

She picked...Crawl (alligator movie), Knives Out, and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. They weren't terrible but they were all pretty goofy and ridiculous. Tonight she insisted it was her "turn" to pick a movie and tried to get me to watch Midsommar with her. I have heard it's very over the top and ridiculous, and I just can't deal with her taste anymore. I told her, sorry, after Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, your privileges are revoked. She got annoyed and told me I have shit taste. This really bothered me since I am pretty passionate about film and at one point wanted to be a screenwriter.  I ended up going upstairs to watch Netflix by myself and she watched something downstairs alone.

Was I the asshole? I just can't put up with another one of her picks. ######

Response:
 Yes. YTA. Definitely.
Also you’ve been voted TA on every single post you’ve made on AITA so I think it should be fairly obvious by now that you’re just sorta of TA in general.. ######


Prompt:
I (36F) am getting married to my fiance next week. It was scheduled for a few months ago but was delayed for obvious reasons. My wedding has a black & white color theme, with all the bridesmaids wearing black dresses. My niece is the flower girl.

However my niece has fiery red hair. I'm afraid her hair will mess the photos, as it will contrast with the black dresses. I've asked her to dye her hair a natural color, or even just wear a wig, but both her and her aunt are very mad at me. So I uninvited my niece from the wedding until she agreed to wear a wig.

My family is pissed at me, even though I've explained I don't want her hair detracting from me in the photos. My fiance says that he supports me, but I'm going a bit far.

**So Reddit, AITA?**

Edit: I was not aware of the fact there was a similar post awhile ago

**Edit: I realize I was wrong. I am going to apologize to my niece. Thank you everyone, I was being a total bridezilla.** ######

Response:
 Yes, YTA.

What the fuck is wrong with so many brides who think they have any right at all to tell people their bodies don't look right enough to celebrate with you?

You have literally just told your niece that a *picture of you* is more important than her. ######


Prompt:
Firstly, yes I am pregnant and I do realize the reality of my emotions, but I am extremely irritated.

My fiancé has two daughters from his ex-wife, 5 and 7. He has a relationship that he titles as “friends”. They text, Snapchat and hangout at family parties together.

I have been extremely blessed to get pregnant and I am excited to go through the full experience. He was texting the BM about my doctors appointment and I feel uneasy because my child is none of her concern. I think behind the girls, I don’t need a relationship. I am kind and cordial but I’ve never been one to be buddy buddy with my partners ex. It’s hard enough for having to have her in my life for 18 years.

My fiancé was going through the baby registry that I’m creating and I found out that BM and him have been talking about what to get. He hasn’t been involved in the shopping or planning part with me—but has time to discuss it with her.

Anyways, he drops off the girls and comes back with a crib and diaper bag from BM. These items were his exs growing up and then the girls.

AITA for not wanting it? I hate the reminder and fact that it was his ex wife’s honestly.I don’t understand why BM is even a factor in my pregnancy. ######

Response: Yes, YTA. Your fiancé has a friendly relationship with the mother of his children which is a good thing. He brought over second-hand baby stuff (very common) that his own children used. I’m sure he associates it much more with them than with her. Her children and your child are going to be siblings but you sound like you wish she never existed. ######


Prompt:
I'm 17. When I was 16 my parents bought me a 2000 Subaru outback that was reasonably taken care of. I really liked my car and was very grateful to my  parents for getting it for me. A year later (now)my brother is 16 and they bought him a 1994 Jeep that is really nice and is in super good condition. It looks new. I'm happy for my brother because he loves his Jeep and is very excited about it but I'm really upset with my parents right now because that got him a waaayy nicer vehicle than mine. I don't want to seem ungrateful for what my parents have done for me especially considering I wouldn't have vehicle without them but I want to confront them about it.

I don't think it's just my imagination because when I was telling my friend about his Jeep her dad said he would throw a fit.  He is very big on respecting parents and I haven't heard him say stuff like that. I'm unsure if anything will come out me doing this so I'm not sure if its worth anything other than to let my parents know that I am upset. I think that is assholeish because I would only cause drama and a possible grounding. I want to though. I am very confused about my feelings right now because I'm crying but somehow really mad and nervous feeling? WIBTA ######

Response: Yes, YTA. When I was old enough to get a car, I got my sister’s hand me down, and my parents bought her a new car. I didn’t think it was fair, but I was grateful to have had a car in the first place, when so many people either don’t have one, or have to buy one for themselves. Just let it go, it’s not worth the battle ######


Prompt:
I'm a dad of six kids (17m, 14f, 6m, 3f, 1f). My 14 y/o has always helped out with taking care of the younger ones, and we often jokingly refer to her as the "3rd parent".

She takes care of small things, like making sure the younger ones have brushed their teeth and are in bed on time, or making them breakfast in the mornings, or helping the 6 y/o with his homework.

She's never complained about doing any of this, and she seems to enjoy helping out. Lately, though, she's been complaining about how she never has any time for herself and always has to be watching the younger kids.

I think she just has to manage her time better. She agreed to take on some extra responsibilities to help take care of them, and I think she should honor that.

The only thing is, she was recently diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and has had a few panic attacks. Her therapist told us to stop having her help out with the little ones, but she's been doing it for years already, why should it change now?

So, AITA for having my daughter continue doing something she's been fine with for years? ######

Response:
 Yes, YTA. She’s 14 years old. She isn’t a parent and she isn’t a babysitter. Why don’t you try stepping up and being a parent instead of expecting your 14 year old kid to do it for you.

Just because previously she *liked* to help out doesn’t mean she has to continue to like it. And you thinking she should just makes you an asshole and lazy shitty parent.

Also, misleading title too. You aren’t letting her take care of them, you literally expect her too. ######


Prompt:
So daughter lives a few states away from us with her husband so we don’t see them too often. We are currently visiting for the week but things are rocky right now because of what I’m about to explain.

They like to use those Alexa devices. Before we arrived I told her I would not tolerate that she keep them out while we are here. She just told me “no” and said I’m being rude to demand that. I said I don’t care and they better be gone when we get there. I feel like she is extremely stupid and naive to think it’s safe to use those things. I don’t want my every word listened to.

Well of course we get there any she still has them out. so I did what I had to and when she or her husband weren’t looking I unplugged  them and tossed them in the trash. I feel like I’m justified because 1: she blankety disrespected my concerns and 2: she needed to learn this lesson at some point, she is stupid to own this stalkerish device, it listens to everything. Once she found out she got so pissed and told me I’m fucking insane. I told her she’s being stupid and naive and she disrespected me. Then she told me I’m being a hypocrite because I have a smartphone that listens to me all the time anyway and by my logic I should throw that away too. Uh yeah no, I don’t even use hey Siri and her mother doesn’t use google assistant. She is blatantly wrong about that. Then she demanded that I get them from the trash. I refused of course and now things are not good right now. She could’ve just put them away like I told her to but Instead she decided to ruin what could’ve been a good trip over a couple of stalking devices. Not just disrespectful but just plain stupid imo. She needs to learn yet refuses to do so. AITA? ######

Response: Yes, YTA. How dare you? If you were so damn concerned about it, you should have stayed in a freaking hotel. ######


Prompt:
Since world events -- staying at GFs.

She works from home -- I dont have to work but have full salary. I kill time by watching shows, playing online games and hanging with GF when she's not working.

Yesterday -- my laptop broke -- I don't know what's wrong with it and I will have to bring it in.

My GF has 2 laptops; one for work and one for "fun". Her work is encrypted or something so she doesn't like using it for general browsing. I asked to borrow her extra laptop yesterday for my game. She said after her movie ended because she was streaming from fun laptop to tv and working at the same time. It would be about 1.5hrs.

When she went to the washroom, I took her fun laptop and switched to a similar movie on netflix. I dont understand why she had to watch this movie right now. She has netflix, amazon, crave and Disney plus, so many options to choose from. Like shes a bit priviliged with a smart tv in her room, her guest room and her living room. An Xbox, PS4, Switch and N64. Sometimes I think she likes having the "best" of everything.

Anyhow she got really upset with me and said I violated her boundaries -- big fight last night. She made me sleep in the guest room. My guy friends think shes over-reacting. Like it's just a movie.

This morning she said she slept on it and feels like we need a break and asked me to leave. I left this afternoon to my parents but borrowed the extra laptop until I get mine fixed.

She called freaking out, called me a thief, said she will call the cops. Accused me of being AH but my mom thinks she needs to chill. Maybe do a spa day or something. Like she has 2 laptops and all these gaming devices, I think she will be fine.

So AITA for borrowing my GFs laptop? ######

Response:
 Yes, YTA.  It’s her laptop, not yours.  Give it back and be a responsible adult (get yours fixed or get a new one).

She’s not “spoiled” by having all these things.  She works hard, earns money, and buys them.  Like a responsible adult. ######


Prompt:
Me and my daughter have been haven’t been getting along so well recently and I feel as though I’ve been under-appreciated because she doesn’t seem to realise how much I really do around the house. I’m a single parent (there’s just us in the house) with disabilities that stop me from doing certain things such as taking clothes upstairs and putting them away or doing the dishes etc... So my daughter does these things; she also vacuums around the house, cleans the bathroom the majority of the time, sweeps in the kitchen, looks after our pets... However, recently, she’s been spending a lot of the time in her room doing school work, which I know she is quite stressed about, and she’s not been keeping up with her chores around the house.

I’ve been spending a lot of the week at my friend’s workplace and helping her with certain things while my daughter has been at home. I was hoping she’d maybe do some jobs while I was out but I’ve been coming home to see the bare minimum, she’d only vacuumed and put washing on the dryer. I’d just given up so I refused to do anything and waited for my daughter to notice.

I’ve seen her become more and more stressed throughout the week. Yesterday, we sat down to watch a film and by the end of it she was annoyed because I was on my phone most of the time and asked her to tell me what happened- she usually doesn’t get annoyed by this and I told her that she used to do it all the time so why shouldn’t I? I’m the adult, not her. The dog has also chewed one of her last pairs of glasses this week, they were her favourite.

I felt like my point was finally getting across so I told her this morning about what I’ve been doing. She seemed shocked and upset but I’ve been dealing with her behaviour for weeks, I told her to put herself in my shoes and she just ignored me. She apologised but I have a feeling she’s still upset.

So, Reddit, am I the a-hole? ######

Response: Yes YTA. You have a disability that keeps you from doing any chores so you use your 14 year old daughter as a maid??? You said she doesn’t realize what you do around the house but like what DO you do around the house? ######


Prompt:
I (25F) have a friend that we’ll call J (30F). J is married to T (32M). We were all friends and hung out together at their house a bunch.
At one point, T caught some feelings for me, and there was some inappropriate texting. Yes, I fully know we were both assholes there, but that’s not why I’m here. Everything was brought out into the open, and amends were made. Took a long time, but trust was built back up. Now T and I are talking again behind Js back. It is 100% innocent and I kept all the messages just to prove it in case it came down to it.
T and I have a lot in common and we really are just friends, but we know that J will never trust us because of how royally we messed up before. Neither one of us have many friends, so we don’t want to stop. We really and truly enjoy talking to each other, but we don’t want it to blow up and cause problems.

So judge me reddit, I need help. AITA for continuing to talk to T? ######

Response: Yes YTA, as is T. It doesn’t matter if it’s “innocent” (which I really doubt and I’m sure at least you still like each other, but giving you both the benefit of the doubt), he cheated on his wife with you. It’s so inappropriate for you two to have any kind of personal relationship and private communication now. You’re lucky J forgave you, now you are expecting far too much from her of you think she should just brush off you lying to her and going behind her back again. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because a few of my coworkers use reddit.

So I'm a teacher at a relatively low income school. If you didn't know, this week is teacher appreciation week and though school has been cancelled for the rest of the year we still give lessons online.

My school's administration set up a drive through so that we could still pick-up our teacher appreciation gifts, and afterwards a large group of us teachers would decorate our cars and drive through the surrounding neighborhoods with signs for the students stuck at home.

I brought along my (18F) daughter, who I'll refer to as K, and my other daughter (12F). I had K drive my truck in the parade so that my youngest and I could sit in the back with the signs and wave to everyone.

Well, about ten minutes in K made a wrong turn (weren't leading) and we got seperated from the group. I started yelling for K to turn around which caused her to freak out and start crying. She pulled into a driveway and managed to catch up with everyone but I was rather annoyed at her. She had one job, to follow everyone else.

That wasn't the only thing, she kept driving slower than everyone and I had to continuously tell her to keep up.

When we got back to the school K was still upset and I kept trying to tell her to just let it go. I apologized to everyone for the inconvenience and some teachers told me that I should not have acted so harshly to K, one teacher actually hit the person in front of her, and pointed out that all things considered K did fine.

K hates driving my truck and it always stresses her out, but I stand firm in my belief that as a soon to be college student she should have experience driving a wide range of vehicles. Also how hard is it to just follow in line with a bunch of cars?

Either way my daughter told my wife what happened and now she's annoyed at me too. I just want to move on from it now, its done and overall we had a good time, but apparently it's still an issue. AITA? ######

Response: Yes YTA- even your version of events you come off harsh. She a newish driver even if she started at 16, hates your truck, had you screaming in her ear, not an easy thing. Not to mention this can’t be the first time you treated her this way, she probably was so afraid of your wrath if she screwed up it became a self fulfilling prophecy. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because my girlfriend follows my main. Also sorry I'm on mobile.

My (M19) girlfriend (F18) and I got into an argument over this and we resolved it but I can't stop wondering if I was TA.

My GF was telling me about how sick and tired she was of the cat calling she and other women get. Now, my GF is gorgeous. She's curvy in all the right places and is very beautiful. So I tell her that though it is unfortunate, she attracts male attention because she is beautiful.

Apparently I said something wrong. She tells me she does appreciate the compliment, but it was very tone deaf. She accused me of victim blaming and says that the men doing it need to control themselves.

This is where I get mad. I blow up at her, saying that not all men are like that and she needs to stop blaming me. I tell her I was just trying to make her feel better.

She tells me that she knows it is not all men, but it is too many. I tell her to shut up and stop with her man-hating. She is crying at this point and hangs up the call. I was mad and didn't want to talk to her anymore so I went to sleep.

So Reddit, AITA?

EDIT: Okay, yes. I am a huge A hole. I owe my GF an apology. Thank you for helping me come to my senses. ######

Response:
 Yeah. YTA. Telling her to shut up? Try supporting your girlfriend a little.

Also, cat-calling isn't a 'compliment' that women reject. Cat-calling makes women feel objectified and unsafe in some - if not most - situations. Usually men only cat-call when women are alone or with other women, not when they're walking with men, which is a huge indicator that it shouldn't even be done, ever. ######


Prompt:
I have always tried to teach my daughter to be respectful to others and herself. When she was 16 she had wanted a tattoo and I told her that it was her choice but a condition with living in our house was that such a thing is not permitted. I told her that I felt that tattoos were something that I believed were unnecessary and not a good way to treat your body.

My daughter is almost 20 now. A week ago I accidentally walked in on her in the bathroom. I quickly turned away but couldn't help noticing that she had large parts of her body covered in tattoos. I am shocked that I had not noticed them earlier because in the short glimpse I got it looked like her whole back was tattooed as well as many others elsewhere. The only explanation I have is that she must have always had them covered in clothing around me.

I confronted my daughter about the tattoos later and she initially denied them. I told her I know what I saw and she eventually admitted that she had got them and hid them from me because she knows I am against them.

I was deeply hurt by what she had done. The tattoos were hurtful because she knew I was against them but my hurt is not just about the tattoos. She has been living with us without paying board despite working full time and I am also angry that she is wasting her money on tattoos rather trying to pay her way. The reason why we have allowed her to live with us without paying anything is we wanted her to be able to save to buy a house and get a head start in life. I was extremely angry that instead she was blowing her money on something she knew both her parents were against.

I ended up telling my daughter that she needs to move out which of course led to major arguments and drama. I have now cooled down and my husband is saying maybe I was too harsh. He is also angry but thinks kicking our daughter out is an overreach. AITA for my stance on this? ######

Response: Yeah, YTA. You don’t get to tell your 20 year old how to spend her money. You can ask her to start paying rent for living with you, but that’s it. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend (24F) and I (35M) have been together for almost a year. She comes from a wealthy family. They own several houses and buy my gf everything she wants whenever she wants it. They’re good people, but I think they need to treat her like a woman instead of a child. I worked hard for everything I have, which isn’t much, so it frustrates me to watch her coast through life. They pay all of her bills, including putting her through medical school. All she has to pay for herself are her luxuries, so she is able to build up her savings much more than I am. Who the hell is able to save up while they’re in medical school? Well anyone can become a doctor with the endless opportunities that she has.

So yesterday my girlfriend and I got into a very heated argument. She told me her new laptop had finally come. I asked her what laptop. She said her old one broke a few days ago so she ordered a new one. She got a top of the line MacBook, way more bells and whistles than what she needs. I asked how she paid for it but I knew the answer, her parents bought it. So here’s where I might be the asshole. I was really mad knowing they probably spent 3 months of what could be someone’s rent on a computer that she *doesn’t need*. I finally just asked her if she’s embarrassed that everything she has in life has been handed to her. Naturally she got defensive and we started arguing. After a while I calmly said I think she’s a spoiled brat and her parents are doing a disservice to her. She called me a string of obscenities in return before hanging up on me. We haven’t talked since.

I get that I was harsh on her but I really don’t think I was wrong. She’s an adult who has no concept of what the real world is like. I want the best for her at the end of the day. Reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 Yeah, YTA. Spoiled brats throw tantrums for what they want. It sounds like her parents are very generous, and it's not really any of your business if they buy her a laptop rather than paying someone else's rent as long as she's not expecting you to do the same.

Not anyone can be a doctor, even if she's given lots of luxuries. Maybe you were lashing out from your own insecurities. Your girlfriend is a saver. She has more money in a savings account than you do, so she's not just leaking all her money away and expecting someone else to fill in the gap. ######


Prompt:
Sooo.

I’m friends with a guy who I ended up falling for, and I confessed these feelings to him last summer. He said he didn’t feel the same way. Cool. Whatevs. We’re still pretty good friends.

The only thing I wish he’d quit doing is complaining about his (lack of a) dating life. He’s in his 30s, and says he should be seriously dating someone in hopes of getting married and having kids.

All I hear is that ‘no one will give him a chance’ yada yada.. When I’m sitting over here, having basically yanked my heart out and giving it to him, just to have him say no thanks.

I’d honestly be delighted if he got a girlfriend and was happy. But this complaining makes me want say cry me a river.

WIBTA if I told him to stop complaining about this particular problem to me? ######

Response:
 Yeah YTA

Don't be friends with someone you pine for if you can't handle the fact that they still want a relationship with someone else.

I'm sorry that the feelings werent returned. It's a bummer but being mad at him because he wasn't interested isn't fair to him.

The friend zone is a made up concept by angry people who feel they are owed a relationship. No one is. ######


Prompt:
Throwayay for obvious reasons, and I’ll try to keep this short. Also, this is not relationship advice, I just want to know if I presented things in a bad way.

A while back I started searching for some new jobs out of boredom basically. To my surprise I managed to land something that requires me to relocate to another country, let’s call it B. The country I’m on right now, country A, is pretty shitty compared to B.

Now the thing is I’ve been married to my wife whom I love dearly, but we haven’t had any children yet. When I told her what I did we had a fight because she says her family is here and she cannot separate from them. My position is that this is an amazing opportunity with many costs supported by the employer and the pay is great too. Negatives would be: learning the language to gain access to other jobs, especially for her (for me English is enough), and distance from family (about 3000km). She says she would be homesick within a month and she will not leave with me at all.

As a final point I told her I hate being tied up to other people’s lives and that it was her family’s choice to remain in country A. I feel that ultimatum was kind of harsh, so I’m asking you AITA? ######

Response:
 Yeah YTA.

Firstly because you 'demanded' your wife has to relocate (not nice at all), second because you did this without consulting her, and third because you're not taking any of her feelings in to account here.

Try and act like an adult and have a proper discussion. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend always calls herself her cat’s Mommy. She’ll pick him up and say things like, “Do you love Mommy? He loves Mommy!” And then she’ll say to me, “Aw, he wants to see his Daddy” and just hand me her cat. She calls her Dad “Grandpa” and her Mom “Grandma” to this cat. It’s a cat!

I told her that it’s weird and I can’t take it anymore. It’s so creepy. She’s not the cat’s Mommy, it’s a cat, his mother is a cat. She says “well I raised him from a kitten so I feel like his Mommy” and I said “yeah but he’s still a cat, you are not and will never be his mother.” She actually started to cry.

AITA? It’s a cat, she’s not his mother, it reminds me of that drawing of a human that’s pregnant with a cat. It’s just weird and it wouldn’t take that much effort for her to stop being so weird. It’s embarrassing when my friends are over and she’s like “oh he wants to see Daddy!” When referring to a cat. ######

Response:
 Yeah YTA. With that logic, people who adopted kids wouldn't be allowed to call themselves their kid's parents because they didn't birth them.

It's kind of a common thing for people to do this with pets too. If it's not okay with you that she's doing this, it may become a dealbreaker because it's something some people feel comfortable and others don't. But that doesn't give you the right to make her feel "creepy" for having a preference when there's no right or wrong and it's subjective. ######


Prompt: I’m a 25 year old guy and I’m married to my wife who is 24. Okay so recently I’ve noticed that she’s gained a bit of weight, not crazy or anything ridiculous, but a bit. I’m into fitness myself so I like to stay active and healthy in general. Well her birthday was a couple days ago and along with some other gifts, I got her a weightloss/workout bundle kit. Immediately she became upset with me about it and was thinking i was mad at her or saying she’s fat, which I wasn’t. I tried explaining to her why I did it, but she didn’t wanna hear me. It’s been a couple days now and she’s still pissed about it. AITA? ######

Response:
 Yeah YTA. Putting the “woman and her weight” thing aside, what you basically did here is get her a birthday gift that was something either *you* wanted or you decided she *should* want. It wasn’t at all related to her interests or values. That’s not a gift—it’s an expectation, or a request.

tbh any self improvement type of thing that your partner hasn’t explicitly expressed interest in is a bit of a no go—it feels like a passive aggressive way to start a conversation about you and your partners diverging values. If you wanted her to care about fitness with you, then talking to her about it and making it an invitation to share something would have been a better start. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway... Also please don't just assume 'YTA' just because of the title.

So I like painting/drawing, it's a great hobby of mine, and I love to do it in my free time.

My gf is a very clumsy girl. She'll trip on air. Which is surprising since she loves to bake. She can bake really good cakes/desserts, tho the clumsiness sometimes makes her drop flour, eggs etc. And she has broken a few glasses, but she has always paid for me to get them back, so it's not really a big issue.

 So since we're all staying inside I decided to paint, and I spent like 4+ hours on it (with breaks of course) and the final project was amazing. One of my best artworks. I was ecstatic.

I asked my gf to come and see it to give her opinion and what it looked like. She came in a few minutes and told me it looked amazing, and that I should sell it. She then got up to make some coffee and I decided to add some final touches and stuff.

So then when I was doing it, my g.f comes in, with the hot coffee, and...

*Spills it all over my painting.*

She immediately started saying sorry while saying she'll pay for a new canvas, new supplies, and other things.

I got really mad, and started yelling at her for being clumsy, and told her she couldn't repay me hours of my time and effort, that maybe she should watch where she's going before she ruins something else. And then we didn't really talk, and I came back to a ruined dry, messy canvas.

I went to sleep, and in the morning woke up to her making breakfast and apologizing. The house was all clean, and she made my favorite cake and stuff.  I forgived her, tho I'm still a little mad over it. But I feel a little guilty...

So aita for yelling at her reddit? ######

Response: Yeah YTA. Accidents happen, it sucks, but you can be mad/frustrated without lashing out at people excessively. You should be apologizing to her as well and making it up to her. Just keep your paintings out of the way or something next time. ######


Prompt:
Hello Reddit!

So our group of friends consists of me (19 F) and 5 guys (20-21 M), one of them being the friend that I will talk about next.

He has a gf about the same age as us, and they've been together for a around a year. The girl is ok, she's ok to have an occasional chat with, but what bothers us is that she has nothing in common us.Most of the times she's out with us she barely talks with us. She is just there, as if she is spectating.

We've informed our friend on many occasions that it would be nice to see him alone from time to time, but he didn't took it very seriously.

A few days ago I couldn't take it anymore and told him straight to the face that it's time he stops bringing her when seeing us, simply because it's not her place, and it's weird for us, as we would sometimes would not be able to talk in our specific way ( a lot of dumb jokes, but they make sense as they are our inside jokes).

He got really mad and started acting childish, and the next time we went out, brought her again.

So, am I the asshole for telling him to stop coming with her? ######

Response:
 Yeah YTA, it doesn’t even sound like you’re trying to include her. Also why do you have to adjust your behaviour/conversations when she’s around?

You seem quite bitter that there’s another girl hanging around, we get it, you’re one of the boys. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend and I (27F and 34M) have been together for 5 years and living together for 3. To start off with, I am disabled an unable to work due to some mental health issues (severe anxiety and depression mainly.) She knows this, and has always been the provider.

I was going to propose to her, but last year she quit her job at a factory to focus on her hobby of running an online arts and crafts business from Etsy. I understood, even understood there'd be a pay cut, because she was then bringing in a good amount of money from that home business. But I warned her that we needed a more stable source of income, that my disability wouldn't cut it, and she should get a regular job and keep the Etsy thing as a part time job.

It kind of seems like she's using me for my disability, now. She refused and just focused more on her Etsy business, which wasn't always successful. Now that things have gotten to where they are, it's like she uses that as an excuse to not get one and just keep doing her arts and crafts. The other day, I told her I was going to propose, but think it should wait, because she refuses to help us build a more stable life.

She got mad and said I could get an online job or delivery job. She *knows* I'm disabled, but would rather me contribute even more than her put down her pipe dream. I told her I can't do that and it's incredibly selfish of her, especially since she got with me knowing I'm disabled.

AITA for being unable to fund her hobby? ######

Response:
 Yeah YTA for several reasons. I was gonna say E S H but going through the comments, 100% YTA. Lets sum it up.

-You claim to be depressed and to have anxiety, which i cannot confirm nor deny and im not trying to, but yet you minimize the mental health of your girlfriend. She claims her job was affecting her mental health, but you instead see it as some sort of personal attack.

-You claim to be too depressed to even get up or shower, and make snarky comments at anyone who did improve themselves about how lucky and privileged they are that they managed to better themselves. Yet, you still want to have kids with your girlfriend in the near future. Thats part of the reason you claim to want to be financially stable. How do you expect to have those kids if youre too depressed/disabled to even walk some dogs for extra cash? Do you expect your girlfriend to work *and* take care of the kids? Trust me, kids are a lot more work than your average part time job.

-You seem to refuse to better yourself. As i stated above, you get pissed at anyone who does improve themselves or assume people are neurotypical when they tell you to at least try to get some of your shit together. And guess what? Im fucking disabled, too, buddy. Maybe not to your extent, i dont know you. But i sure as hell am far from neurotypical. Im very far from abled.

Stop complaining about your girlfriend's financial decisions and *business* (not hobby) if you are refusing to contribute even a little bit yourself. ######


Prompt:
I asked my girlfriend if she could lend me money for weed, £50 and that I would pay her back next when when I get paid. She said no since she is against weed and drugs in general, I asked why and then she said "well I will lend you money if you give me the double amount back, so £100 because I will put an interest rate"

I told her that was ridiculous and a bit petty and that I will just give her back the same amount. I'm desperate for some weed so I agreed to do it but then I went on about how selfish she is. She called me an asshole because I agreed to it and that's just how she "lends" out money especially when it is going to take such a long time to give it back. She literally has enough money in her bank. I got angry at her and told her its stupid that she is trying to make money out of me.... she then went on telling me how much of an asshole I am and that if I don't have money for weed I should wait it out instead OR do it this way.

AITA here? ######

Response:
 Definitely YTA she didn’t want to lent you money for drugs, you begged and she offered you a deal which you accepted and now your having a cry about it! Might be time to rethink your budget, habit and also grow up.

Oh and by your replies your definitely need to stand back and look in the mirror, you ask if YTA and then argue why your right like your arguing about the money

Edit to add and fix typos ######


Prompt:
I was talking with my friend who is very sheltered and didn’t know there were people who weren’t straight or cis. Anyway, we were talking and at some point I said “me and my girlfriend have been dying to see each other again” and she said “I thought you hated when girls referred to there girl-friends as girlfriends?” I said, “I do but I mean she is actually my girlfriend like we are in a relationship” she was very confused and so was I, so the following conversation occurred.
K: why are you dating a girl if you’re a girl? Only males and females can be attracted to each other
Me: well no actually, men can be in romantic relationships with men and women can be in romantic relationships with women
K: that doesn’t make any sense. Why would you date someone you don’t like?
Me: well... you shouldn’t. We do like each other, that’s why we are dating. You can feel romantically attracted to the same gender. You can be gay, or bi, or pan, or poly, or omni.
K: what do all those mean and what are you and your “girl...friend”
*i explain*

2 days later
K: this is K’s parents and apparently you told our daughter about the gays.
Me: yes I did is there a problem?
K: yeah we didn’t want a corrupt gay daughter but now because of you we might not be able to fix her
Me: she isn’t gay, and she isn’t corrupt
K: we will be blocking you off of her phone now please do not speak to her at school

I feel like I did the right thing but I also feel like maybe it wasn’t my place to teach. So AITA ######

Response:
 Definitely NTA.

You answered questions from a curious person, and properly. You haven’t ‘corrupted’ her or hurt her in anyway.

Her parents being homophobic is not your fault, so don’t beat yourself up over it. And, unless she tells her parents everything that happens in her day(no teen really does), then I see no problem with talking to her during school.

You may even want to tell her about your parents calling you. ######


Prompt:
Ok people of reddit I need your help. This situation is weighing heavy on my heart and noggin and I’m completely unsure what to do.

I am dog sitting for an owner and it is very clear to me and others that have seen the dog that this dog is being neglected.

Here is the information/facts I have:
• dog is only fed once a day because owner is at work and doesn’t want to come home to accidents
• dog has no toys, bed, cage or dog treats
• dog’s spine, ribs and hips are visible (there is no fat on the dog’s body)
• dog has ring around neck under collar possibly due to collar being tight and being rubbed raw
• dog is locked in garage/laundry room when dog is “too excited and is overwhelming” by the owner
• dog is hardly walked and doesn’t get much exercise (which is why dog is “overwhelming” because dog doesn’t get energy out)
• dog’s nails are so long that when taken on a walk they drag on the ground
• dog’s teeth are black and breathe smells like poop

I know the dog is in the teens of age but acts like a 2 year old with plenty of love and energy. Very nice dog overall; doesn’t bite, just wants to be by you at all times and is very sweet.

I’m getting mixed responses from family/friends being: “it’s not your place” “you don’t know what health conditions dog has” “you should say something to the owner” “you should report owner”

I personally am an absolute dog lover. It breaks my heart seeing a dog treated like this. I don’t understand why people get pets and then treat it awfully. I feel I need to be the dogs advocate.

Help me out here... should I leave it be or should I report the owner? I feel there’s so much wrong that I can’t just pick one thing to say to the owner. ######

Response:
 Definitely NTA.

When it comes to abuse, you have to report it when you see it. It is hard to report someone because we fear the consequences, but you're one of the few people, if not the only one, who can help this dog have a better life. ######


Prompt:
My 3 year old daughter loves to spend time at my mom's house but my mom has never been the "good" parent, she has always tried hard to be the fun one no matter what. Over the last year or so she ha taught my daughter my daughter many bad habits that have been hard to break. Some notable ones are, she taught her to fight by putting up fists and asking her if she wants to fight. My daughter now will come up to you and say let's fight then punch you in the jaw. She has taught her pee outside because she's little enough to not make it a problem. But now to the point, the last straw. This morning I dropped her off there to play while mom and I worked. When I got there she instantly tried teaching her that "someone stop her she's dancing like a stripper" song. I sternly told her not to teach her that and left it at that. An hour later I got a Snapchat from her of my daughter singing it. I told her again it doesn't matter if you say she can only sing it there. She will sing it in public and I don't want that. I got no response. After work my wife calls me and tells me my mom called her and asked our daughter to sing her the song. Further proving she made her memorize this. Then my mom called my wife a bitch for telling her not to fucking teach her this stuff.

Her calling my wife a bitch was the last straw. I went to her house and told her exactly what I thought. I told her our daughter is not going there any more until she thinks about what she is teaching her. As I was leaving my mom told me if she sees my wife in public she's gonna beat her ass.

At that point I flipped. I screamed at her to act her age and stop being a shitty person.

Now I can't sleep thinking maybe I should have defended my mom even a little. AITA?

Also sorry for the long post. ######

Response: Definitely NTA. Your mum has zero respect for you or or wife, which she has demonstrated repeatedly. You need to find alternative child care ######


Prompt:
Some context: I have a strict "no lending" policy on money, I won't let anyone starve, but I'd rather buy you lunch rather than give you the money. It's something my parents taught me and it helps to weed out who's just lying to get a fix of whatever.

Due to lay-offs, we are all struggling, but I have a savings account with some emergency money. I've literally starved to be able to put some money aside every month, and it's not much, but it's something to fall back on.

Last month, one of the guys I work with started sending me texts asking for money. I said no, he asked someone else and got it so I didn't feel too bad about it. This month, as soon as we got paid, he started the texts again, and again, I said no. I know he's good for it, I'm sure by the end of the month he would pay me back and we're friends. I even pay for drinks when we go out because I know he doesn't have much.

Here's the thing though. I work 12/14 hour shifts. I work myself to the bone to be able to save up and I don't spend money on myself, aside for bare necessities. And this guy, even though he's a good worker, doesn't. He misses work half of the week, gets in late and, even though his schedule is always the same, he sends a text everyday asking what time he gets in, even on my days off.

Now, there are a lot of reasons why I shouldn't lend him money, he gets financial aid from the government and wastes it all on weed, he mooches of other people for places to crash, food and alcohol and takes stuff from work to take to his dealer to pay for more weed.

But none of that matters to me. Even if the money was for something important, what really makes this a solid No is the fact that if he just showed up for work he would have money for his stuff. And even though I could lend him some bucks, why should I have to? I do feel bad for him, and in my mind I keep arguing with myself about it, so I want to know, am I being an asshole here? ######

Response: Definitely NTA. Your money, you earned it, you decide where it goes. The end. ######


Prompt: I (17M) program as a hobby. I've been pulling all nighters working on a project with my friends and on my free time I play CSGO and Hypixel Skyblock. My mom recently put locks on my laptop and blocked certain programs that are essential to my hobby (vscode, unity, etc) Luckily for me I found a loophole that allows me to bypass her locks by creating a new windows account using a throwaway email. She's always been like a helicopter parent and I've gotten used to it but it still pisses me off that she treats me like I'm 12. ######

Response: Definitely NTA. You wouldn't have had to bypass in the first place if she would loosen up ######


Prompt:
When I say every single time, I mean every single time she does it in front of me and it's becoming a problem with the family because they think I'm being disrespectful and she's old and doesn't get it. Even my husband is like "I agree with you but she won't budge so just let it go"

No I dont think I will.

My son is ftm, he realised he wasnt a girl at age 6, and from there I supported him all the way until he figured it out. He's now 19 and will medically start transitioning in a few years I'm very proud of him. Family outside of us (parents) and siblings thought he was just a tomboy all this time and he only recently made the decision to come out to everyone else. Mother-in-law who always pushed for him to be "a girly girl" and thought something was wrong with him for not being feminine like his sisters is now misgendering him at every turn, texting us and lecturing us and giving unsolicited advice about his identity THE JOURNEY OF WHICH HE CHOSE TO LEAVE HER OUT OF. She also seems to think him being trans is now my fault because since I defend his pronouns so hard, maybe I pushed them which........okay. It's gotten to the point where she'll say things over text like "maybe if you buy her dresses" and I'll say "he doesn't like dresses." Over. And over. And over. And over.

Now she thinks I'm being disrespectful but I don't know what she wants me to do? Let her misgender him? A lot of family is telling me I'm being petty for no reason, but I don't think so??? I don't think I'm being an asshole for DEFENDING MY CHILD but a lot of people seem to think so. My husband thinks straight up blocking her would be an even bigger dick move because she's "just old" but that's where I'm headed. ######

Response: Definitely NTA. You would be doing your son a disservice not to speak up. ######


Prompt:
Sorry for anything misspelled or the format being weird I'm on mobile

Ok so I'm a 17(F) I was born on May 9th my sister (Mia 14(F) not her real name) was born on May 13th. Ever since she was born we've shared a birthday party. That includes the cakes and the presents, the cake is usually an issue for me because I cant eat cake it makes me sick so I don't eat it so I've never really had a birthday pastry.

Ok onto the story.

Yesterday me and my cousin we're talking when we got onto the subject of birthdays and she told me how she loves getting presents and eating a big cookie (shes tge same as me and cant eat cake so my mom makes her a big cookie). When this conversation unsued

Me "I don't really like my birthday"

C: "how come?"

Me: "I always hear about how all of you got presents and got to eat cookies and stuff and how the whole day you didn't have to do anything (for birthdays my mom uses the rule that the birthday girl/boy doesnt have to help with ANYTHING this includes my 26 year old sister.) Mom usually makes me clean something then rushes off to go spend time with Mia."

C: "stop being an a**hole! Be grateful you even got presents!"

Me: "I never got presents most of it was either for the whole family of something that Mia broke"

C: "shut up"

Then she walked off and that was that. I was just wondering am I the a**hole for thinking this? Should I really just shut up and be grateful I'm here? I dont know what to think anymore and I'm going to my friends house Friday so we can have a late birthday thing with me and her family.

So Reddit Aita?

Tl;dr my entire birthday is spent with everyone praising my little sister ######

Response:
 Definitely NTA. You were born on separate days and so it is appropriate to have separate celebrations.

Have fun at your friend's house at the celebration they're throwing for you! ######


Prompt: I am a 22f living at my parents home due to the state of the world. We live in a nice neighborhood out side of city limits. Each house sits on about three acres so there’s a fair amount of room between houses. Growing up the neighborhood was quiet with very few, if any, disagreements.  Within the last few years a new family moved in with teenagers and money to burn. They have several golf carts, 4wheelers, and motorized bikes the kids and friends like to race up and down the street. Last fall a kid fell off their golf cart and cracked his head open in our front yard. After that the racing stopped.  In the last few weeks it started again. Racing in the dark with out lights, reflective clothes, or even helmets. As the kids are a bit older they’ve added trucks to the mix with kids up and dancing in the bed of the trucks while it’s moving. I have talked to the mom about my concerns, and she said she tells them to stop when she sees it, but she also likes to be a mean girls “cool mom” and allows the kids to basically do whatever. As this is occurring more frequently (at least 3 nights in the last week) I am considering calling the police the next time it happens. I hate to waste the officers time, but I am worried that another kid will wind up severely injured, or worse.  If I call the cops, AITA? ######

Response: Definitely NTA. You have secondary reasons to back yourself up—noise complaints and whatnot. However, the biggest reason is, like others have said, regarding these kids’ safety. One has already seriously been injured. Now it seems the others are getting wilder in spite of it. Please call the next time it happens. It truly would be for the kids’ sake. ######


Prompt:
I'm due in the fall and where I live, visiting restrictions will probably be lifted so it's caused a rift between me and my MIL.

Title says it all. I just wouldn't be comfortable with my legs spread apart screaming in front of my husband's mother. He's 100% supportive of this and says he's not going to let her come. She's been very vocal about how disrespectful I'm being for not letting her see her grandson's first moments. I've tried to be reasonable with her and calmly explain how stressful it will be for us and even offered to let her visit us first once we're home, but she kept begging to witness the birth.

I've gotten texts from her family echoing this, saying they should be allowed to see my child if they'd like to. I'm having second thoughts now, but I am worried for my family's health if we let them all in. I wouldn't be able to take it well emotionally if they were watching me, and some of his family are nutcases quite frankly... lots of anti-vaxxers and MLM pushers on his side :/. AITA here though? Is it okay if I just want to give birth with him and the doctors? ######

Response: Definitely NTA. You can have whoever you want in the room, and disallow anyone you want. Make sure to let the medical staff know to restrict access to anyone you don't specifically say is allowed in. ######


Prompt: my six year old daughter died a couple months ago and the mourning process is already difficult enough. my ex-best friend keeps texting me about my daughter and he says things such as “it’s a damn shame” and he’s in “pain” but he never even met my daughter! it’s tearing me to pieces so i blocked him! a bunch of our mutual friends say i’m being insensitive but i’m the one who lost my child. AITA? ######

Response: definitely NTA. there is nothing worse than when someone takes a tragedy that happened to someone else and make it about themselves. i’m sorry for your loss. ######


Prompt:
So my cousin and I(both 22F) are only 6 months apart and her birthday was in early March. A few days ago in the family group chat she sent her cashapp and asked for family to send their birthday gifts there. 1) once you then 18 in my family it’s very rare to get a birthday gift from everyone. 2) she’s 22 with a job and her birthday was almost 3 months ago. I didn’t respond and she messaged me privately asking why I haven’t sent her anything since I have cashapp. I told her I don’t get a birthday present from that side of the and don’t beg them for it way past my birthday. She then brought up the fact that I get an “extra gift” at Christmas from my uncle. Which yes is true but it’s not actually from him, it’s from my “dad” since my uncle was the one who inherited his estate after he passed. I didn’t respond and she replied that she KNOWS I have enough money to spare to send her a birthday gift. While yes I have received SOME of my inheritance my husband and I are about to close on a house and the money is going towards that and for furniture. I did not receive enough to just go around handing out money. I also know that any money she gets will be spent on drugs. She lives with her boyfriend and his family rent and bill free.
So AITA? I felt bad after it all went down but I feel like it was a low blow bringing up my dads money. ######

Response: Definitely NTA. She’s super entitled and shouldn’t be asking for money as a gift, and definitely should not be begging for it. I get that there’s a crisis going on, but having a birthday 3 months prior and trying to guilt trip people, especially family, into giving money, is messed up ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because my parents browse this sub

So today my father set a challenge for me and my mother.

Who ever completed the 5km loop around our house would get anything they wanted( as long as said item was under 100 euros)

So I can do 5k in 27 minutes while it takes my mother 40 ish minutes so I was sure I was gonna win.but my mother has a habit of letting me run off, then calling one of her friends to bring her home after about 1km, so it seems like she is this super fit "model", while she makes me look like a fat lazy bastard.

So we set off and I tailgate my mother so she cant cheat and I tail her for about 4km and then i sprint the last 1km and win, but my mother was fucking furious, she went off at me saying I "belittled her and made her look unfit" and is demanding that my dad gets her a present because "it's not fair to get your son something and not your wife"

So reddit, aita for tailgating my mother? ######

Response: Definitely NTA. She’s got issues ######


Prompt:
I live in an apartment that I moved into in September 2019. Since arriving, I have had probably close to 20 packages show up at my door addressed to someone I've never met. Let's say the name is Autumn. The packages all have my address and Autumn's name. Since they're not addressed to me, I just leave them outside and eventually they've all been picked up. I've never seen anyone pick them up, but they're always gone in 2-3 days.

At first I thought it must be the previous tenant who forgot to forward their mail, but I've never gotten a piece of mail addressed to Autumn. I do get mail addressed to previous tenants occasionally, but never a single piece addressed to her. I even mentioned this to my building manager, and she said she's never heard of Autumn. It's possible that she lived at this address with someone else and was just never on the lease, but still, she's never lived here.

My guess is that she has her packages sent here because we have a gate with a code, as opposed to other apartment buildings in my city which are open to the street. Almost all the packages have been marked on the outside as expensive cosmetics brands. I get that she doesn't want her stuff stolen, but it kind of pisses me off that a stranger is using my address as a free PO box. Like, if she can afford to order expensive makeup 2-4 times a month surely she has a little extra cash for a PO box, right?

On top of it all, this means that a stranger who has never officially lived in my building is still using our gate code to gain access to the building frequently. Which is in itself kind of skeevy, right?

I've considered leaving a short "please stop having your packages sent here" note, but haven't acted yet. ######

Response: Definitely NTA. PUT A STOP TO THAT. You don't know what's in the packages and if it's illegal, you could be an accomplice ######


Prompt:
I moved to this flat a year ago, like most of the Londoners I rented a room in a house share. We don't have any living room which restricts me socialising as much as I desire. That is the main reason I wanted to move out initially.

Since I moved here, I requested from landlord to change just the bath as it was rusty and you can't clean it as more you try to clean more rusty it gets. Couple of months ago he called me on a Sunday saying, he is refurbishing the toilet and the bathroom whole together. It was nice of him to do some investment in the flat which  let's his tenants to have humane environment.

When the work done he decided to extend the job get the kitchen refurbished too and fit another room in the kitchen so that he can rent more rooms.

It was the last drop. I had been looking for flats for couple of months and just before the lock down I found a decent room which is smaller but have a living room and a small garden just 20 pounds more than I am paying now and since I got an increase on my wages I can afford it. And the house hold seems so friendly and nice people. I will be sharing with 2 more people whereas I would share with 4 more people if I stay.

When I agreed with my new landlord, I gave a month notice to my landlord and he flipped out. He said he paid 10k for his house just because I have asked. He said it's not fair of me letting him down. He offered 50 pounds discount as well. He wanted me to extend my notice for 2 more weeks, luckily my new landlord was fine with it so I accepted to extend. I told him that I asked him to change the bath a year ago not to put another room in the kitchen.

I understand him that he did all this investments and there is already an empty room in the house but I think I deserve to live where the heaven I want to live.

AITA for letting down my landlord? ######

Response: Definitely NTA. Not even close to TA. The rusty bath was always the LL's responsibility from the beginning and the fact he's even trying to lord this over you is laughable. ######


Prompt:
A little background: I (20) grew up in a family of Christians farmers and handy workers. I was seen as "very smart" so they had high hopes for me. They are really traditional and we are french.

So when I was about 7 I went to my uncle house and didn't want to kiss them ( they thought I was being impolite and rebellious) while my stepbrother did. They screamed at me and kept making me feel guilty for that since I was about 16.

When I was 14, I was diagnosed with school phobia along with social anxiety and saw a therapist. I am now offiacially diagnosed with those, alongside with "high functioning autism" and cptsd which is why I can't stand physical contact.

They said I can't have any of those because they never saw me crying or having a panic attack, and that all autistic poeple are "dumb and drooling everywhere" and I just use that as an excuse because I'm lazy (while forcing me to study subjects i'm not good at).

My mom has a high sense of family and what it means and wants me to texts them (and her) often, to go to their house when I'm not far from home for studies. I am kind of scared of her because she is a huge part in what caused my cptsd.

I'm really lost in what I should do, I was raised to think about family first but that is only one of the traumatic events I went through, being LGBT in this kind of traditional family.

AITA for wanting to cut ties with my family? ######

Response: Definitely NTA. No one should ever be under any obligation to kiss or hug anyone if they’re not comfortable with it. Your family don’t seem to be very open to recognising your needs so to make yourself more comfortable and make your life your own I would say that if cutting them off will make you happier then do it. ######


Prompt:
First some back story... my sister and I have never been close. I’m a bit older than her but because of life I still love at home with our parents and 2 years ago she moved to the other side of the country with her bf. Because we were never close and now she lives so far are basically just acquaintances at this point. When she does text me most the time she’s being snobby and the few times she’s been home we’ve gotten in huge fights because of her toxic behavior.

Recently I’ve over heard convos she’s had with my mom and she is planning her wedding (she’s not engaged yet but has said they are looking at places and he will propose soon but knowing my sister she is the one pushing the want to get married soon). One of the times they were FaceTime she saw me in the background and told me “One of the dates I’m looking at is your birthday”. Every year since I turned 18 I’ve gone on vacation for my birthday she obviously knows this so I told her “if you do I might not be able to come”. She got mad and my mother told me I’m being selfish and even if she plans her wedding on my birthday I better come. It became a huge fight and she doesn’t even have a date set yet.

Also about my vacation... it is the one time of year I get away. I work 32-40 hours a week on top of taking care of my grandparents. Taking them to the doctor, taking them shopping... etc. and where my sister lives isn’t a place I’d want to vacation.
So am I the asshole for telling her that/ would I be the asshole if it is on my birthday and I don’t go? ######

Response: Definitely NTA. Doesn't even really matter what day it is, if you don't want to go then there's no real reason to do so, but especially on your birthday? That's ridiculous and inconsiderate of them. ######


Prompt: My step mom has been my step mom since I’ve been 5. We have a decent relationship but it’s been rocky as of lately. I caught her purging after meals for the last few months. I don’t know if it began during quarantine or I just noticed because I’m always home. My step mom has always been critical of my weight and my half sisters. She criticized us for years, but since I was in sports and stuff I was always fit, I didn’t receive it as bad as my sisters. Last night, she screeched at my sister for eating past 8pm and called her fat and that she will never amount to anything because of her lack of “self control.” She started attacking me too because I defended my sister and called me piece of shit and that I looked like a man. I ended saying that she also doesn’t have self control because if she did, she wouldn’t need to throw up after she eats. That caused a big fight between us and my dad got involved and well, I’m in big shit now. ######

Response: Definitely NTA. Based of this I’d say your step mom is actually pretty abusive. Berating anyone for their weight is disgusting on its own, let alone her hypocrisy. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account for privacy reasons. Also, english is not my first language so I want to apologize in advance for any mistakes.

For context, I’m 18F and he’s 20M. We have been together almost a year now, and from time to time we disagree on how frequent we should be having sex. This happens because he has a much higher libido than mine. He wants to do it every day if he can when I’m good with 1-2 times per week.

The issue was this morning. We were sleeping together in my bed, and he wakes up and starts to kiss me, like a shower of kisses! And I was really happy, because that is a nice way to wake up, feeling so so loved. It started taking a turn when he began taking of my shirt, groping me, etc.

I started to feel a little uneasy, because I thought he was just kissing me to show me he loves me, but instead it was to turn me on so we could have sex. So politely, I said to him: “Hey, I haven’t even woken up, I don’t want that”. He told me to relax and lifted my shirt (i was laying on my stomach) and began kissing my back and reallyyyyyy rubbing himself against me.

I tried to relax, because I know if I reacted badly it would really hurt him, so I played along. That was until he asked me if he could make love to me. I told him no, not harshly, just no.

Right then, he laid besides me and looked really sad. At first he started pouting (literally), and after a couple times of Me asking him what was wrong, he told me that I never want it, and that it makes him feel bad because he feels like he’s doing something wrong when we do it and that he feels like he should apologize for even trying.

I told him that that is not true and tried to make him feel better. It didn’t work, he just asked me to take him to the door (we don’t live together) and that was that.

So now I’m wondering if I should have just went along with it or what I could have done to make him feel better. WITA for rejecting him? ######

Response: Definitely nta! That's awful that he kept trying when you weren't into in and for making you feel bad for saying no. You dont owe him sex and it's sad because all he's going to do it make it so you don't want to kiss him at all because you'll worry it'll just be him trying to have sex and not just being romantic. I think you should warn him of that, his sex drive isn't more important that your feelings ######


Prompt:
My uncle is a doctor, and makes good money. My Dad told him I needed money for school and asked for 1,000 bucks. He even had me thank him for the money and told everyone how my uncle helped him pay for school.
Turns out it was all a sham, my Dad used that money for drugs. My Mom showed me solid evidence of that, and I am horrified. I knew my Dad was an addict, but it didn’t occur to me that he was ripping off my uncle.

So WIBTA if I told my uncle what happened? Knowing him he probably wouldn’t sweat the 1,000, but I feel really guilty holding onto the knowledge. It might stir up shit between my uncle and my Dad, but I think he deserves to know. ######

Response: Definitely NTA, Your Uncle needs to know the truth and your Dad needs serious help if he’s doing drugs. It’s not fair that your uncle had his money used to fuel your Dad’s drug addiction ######


Prompt:
So  we have a daughter who turned three in January. Personally, I think  she's pretty advanced for her age. She has complex conversations with us  and can even read simple words already. She's now home with us all day  while we work because of recent events. She's definitely getting more screen  time than we would normally allow because we have to work, and she  discovered Scooby-Doo. I bought her the first two seasons of the  original version of the show that began in 1969. ("Scooby-Doo, Where Are  You?") At the time, my wife didn't say anything, even during the early  watching. I was pretty excited because this was one of my absolute  favorite shows when I was her age, and it kind of still is.

However,  my wife has decided that my daughter is no longer allowed to watch  Scooby-Doo. She is concerned that the scenes are too anxiety-inducing  for a child my daughter's age. I've spoken with my daughter and she  seems to clearly understand the monsters are just pretend people in  costumes as gets revealed at the end of each episode. She hasn't had any  nightmares or anything like that. She's always laughing at Scooby's  antics during the episodes. And she likes to pretend now that she's  Daphne as she goes around the house.

Now  that my wife has said she can't watch Scooby, my daughter is pretty  upset. She loves the show and is constantly begging to watch it now. I  typically present a united front with my wife, and I've been doing so  and not letting her watch the show now. But I have told my daughter that  if she can convince Mommy I'll let her watch the show. I'm having a  tough time reconciling that there's anything wrong with watching  Scooby-Doo and taking ownership for the decision not to let her watch  it.

AITA? ######

Response: Definitely NTA, it seems your daughter understands the show and isn't scared of it or anything. You should try talking to your wife about how she doesn't get nightmares of anything and you don't see the harm in letting her watch. ######


Prompt:
I (22f) have a prosthetic glass eye. This guy isn't my boyfriend, but we have gone on a few dates.

We were hanging out when this happened. I accidentally rubbed my eye wrong, and my prosthetic fell out. He screeched and jumped away. I didn't take offence - he didn't know and I could imagine being shocked seeing what looked like someone's actual eye fall of it's socket.

I thought that would be the end of it, but he seemed pretty shaken up that I have a fake eye. He asks me why I didn't tell him on our first date, so he wouldn't have wasted his time. Stuff like this freak him out, and he never would have gone on dates with me had he known.

I was pretty hurt, but it wasn't like he was my boyfriend. We weren't even talking about "becoming official". So far, this was just a few casual dates. ######

Response: Definitely NTA, I get him being surprised but that dude was just being an ass. ######


Prompt:
Sorry for anything misspelled or the format being weird I'm on mobile

Ok so I'm a 17(F) I was born on May 9th my sister (Mia 14(F) not her real name) was born on May 13th. Ever since she was born we've shared a birthday party. That includes the cakes and the presents, the cake is usually an issue for me because I cant eat cake it makes me sick so I don't eat it so I've never really had a birthday pastry.

Ok onto the story.

Yesterday me and my cousin we're talking when we got onto the subject of birthdays and she told me how she loves getting presents and eating a big cookie (shes tge same as me and cant eat cake so my mom makes her a big cookie). When this conversation unsued

Me "I don't really like my birthday"

C: "how come?"

Me: "I always hear about how all of you got presents and got to eat cookies and stuff and how the whole day you didn't have to do anything (for birthdays my mom uses the rule that the birthday girl/boy doesnt have to help with ANYTHING this includes my 26 year old sister.) Mom usually makes me clean something then rushes off to go spend time with Mia."

C: "stop being an a**hole! Be grateful you even got presents!"

Me: "I never got presents most of it was either for the whole family of something that Mia broke"

C: "shut up"

Then she walked off and that was that. I was just wondering am I the a**hole for thinking this? Should I really just shut up and be grateful I'm here? I dont know what to think anymore and I'm going to my friends house Friday so we can have a late birthday thing with me and her family.

So Reddit Aita?

Tl;dr my entire birthday is spent with everyone praising my little sister ######

Response:
 Definitely NTA and your mom seems to be very biased in a negative way towards you.

>(shes tge same as me and cant eat cake so my mom makes her a big cookie).

>for birthdays my mom uses the rule that the birthday girl/boy doesnt have to help with ANYTHING this includes my 26 year old sister.)

Is this something you can raise to your mom at all? Seems like a middle child syndrome! ######


Prompt:
This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and I'm still pissed from work. I'm a girl.

My new job is a very labor intensive job, moving heavy objects, pushing carts, packing shipping boxes. It's summer in the south on top of that, so it's hell hot. So of course I'm sweating with all the manual labor and the lack of ventilation in a metal sweatshop for 8+ hours a day.

I have a 'normal' type of deodorant, a 24 hours active sense one. Though, due to circumstances I can't get to the store and I ran out. I have a backup, a men's old spice one, I bought it because I like the smell. Very pine woodsy. It's a good cover all, and no matter how much I swear it works wherever my normal one I use when I know I am not going to be sweating alot, because I don't want to force people to smell my body odor of onion bagels.

So because of how much I sweat, I've been using the old spice one.  No more B.O! Everything was fine, my male co-workers, I work with mostly teenage boys, never noticed. Until today where do to an absence in the second shift I got to work in the less labor intensive area.

Today I sat down with the girls to unwrap CDs , and one of them commented how it smells like a guys here.

Me: oh yeah, I used old spice. I'd rather you not smell me, lol.

This girl, we'll call her Anna, freaked the fuck out. A few  seemed bothered and one of them told me it reminds her of her dad.

Things were said such as 'its unnatural, there's perfectly good girls deodorant!" And " are you gay?" And basically how I was a bitch because normal girls use floral deodorant and things designed for women and men had their own things made for them.

To me, it's fucking deodorant. I've know a few girls to do use ax, so why is this a thing? Still, I can't help but wonder if I'm a minority here.

AITA for using the 'wrong' deodorant? ######

Response: Definitely NTA and I suggest you up the anti by wearing Axe body spray. Then they’ll beg you to go back to old spice ######


Prompt: So this happened a few years ago but I always wonder if I was in the wrong. My brother (21M) and his girlfriend (20F) has been dating less than a year when my fiancé and I started writing our guest list for our wedding. We decided to invite my brother’s girlfriend even though they had only been together for a short time. GF found out I had invited a friend which happened to be a former classmate of hers (this girl was also a fiancée of one my partner’s friends and had been together for 2 years) and asked me to uninvite this girl because this girl was her sworn enemy and apparently she had once been with my brother. I told her that whatever was going on between GF and this girl wasn’t my business and I didn’t want to make things awkward and uninvite her when I didn’t have a problem with her. GF then started accusing me of choosing this girl over her and disrespecting her and although initially my brother didn’t care, he also eventually agreed with his GF and neither of them showed up to my wedding. I was devastated and conflicted on whether I should have just uninvited my friend to keep peace between me, my brother and his GF or whether that would have just been the start of GF making demands and getting her way. ######

Response:
 Definitely NTA

it's your wedding' you can invite who you want. It would be bad enough for your brother to ask you to unnvite someone but his girlfriend who you barely know? Ridiculous ######


Prompt:
Okay, this is kind of of a weird one. I have been dating my girlfriend for 7 months now. I want to preface all of this by saying that I love her and that this post makes her sound worse than she is. She is one of the most genuine, sweetest, and hardworking people I have ever met. But, this whole situation has been so off putting to me and I don’t know what to do about it.

My girlfriend can be a bit clingy in general which, frankly, I have always found a bit cute. But, when she goes to the bathroom she always wants me to join her. At first I thought it was cute she wanted to spend time with me so much but I didn’t realize it was something she was going to expect every time. It started as just sitting on the side of the tub while she peed. Which could be inconvenient depending on if I was in the middle of something but I didn’t mind too much. But, starting a few months ago she started going number two and also dealing with her period stuff in front of me too. I’ve tried to excuse myself because the sights and smells. But, it hurts her feeling when I do and it always ends up in a fight about something unrelated. So, I’ve been dealing with it to keep the peace. She doesn’t mind if I go on my phone or do something else in the bathroom. But, even so, I just don’t want to witness/smell/hear those moments and it’s starting to impact my attraction towards her. I’ve tried talking with her but it seems to be really important to her for whatever reason. WIBTA if I stopped doing this? ######

Response:
 Definitely NTA .   I'm curious  . . . . you both haven't been dating that long.  Who was her bathroom buddy before you?   Did she just start doing this with you or has she always been this way?

It's pretty neurotic, and also covertly controlling.  I'd suggest she see a therapist because, nope. ######


Prompt:
Earlier today, my aunt and her young (seven year old) daughter came to visit to celebrate my father's birthday, with masks and gloves and all that, and I was wearing a short sleeves shirt because it was hot out. My scars are incredibly noticeable, so I wasn't really surprised when my aunt came to me and demanded that I put on a long sleeves shirt because it was making her uncomfortable and she didn't want her daughter seeing that.

I apologized but said it was too hot for long sleeves, plus that her daughter wasn't even paying attention to me. My aunt then said that I should be "ashamed" of myself for allowing her daughter to see such a thing.

I didn't want to argue so I just walked away at that point. My aunt and her kid left not long afterwards but called my mom to complain about it. Neither of my parents blame me for it and say that she shouldn't have said what she did, but I'm curious as to whether or not she was in the wrong or if I should have just sucked it up. ######

Response: Definitely NTA - You're scars are a part of you and you shouldn't be shamed into covering them just because it makes other people uncomfortable. ######


Prompt:
I admit, I do regret it a little but I'll give full context so you can understand. My gf has been writing since she was around 10, and has improved a lot. She primarily writes fanfiction but recently has branched out into original work. She has a decent ish following, and her writing isnt half bad. I supported her all this time, but ever since she started on her original work(s) she's been extremely wrapped up in it.

She's barely done anything in the house in quarantine other than writing her book(s) and working. She does make time for me wherever she can but it's really not enough. I feel like an afterthought. I did talk to her about it and we started spending more time with each other after, she said sorry too but its still not enough. She started growing a bit engrossed in it again so I brought it up again. She said she's currently putting her writing over everything and told me it's the most important thing in her life right now, and she can't wait to share whatever success she has with me once this is all done.

I don't know why that made me so mad, I was stewing in it for a while. I admit it was petty. Finally she was ignoring me to write and I told her she's not as good of a writer as she thinks and her novels aren't really going to go anywhere, so to please relax. She didn't even get mad at me, just got really sad and is now not talking to me. I admit that it might have been mean, but I don't think she could just ignore the relationship and the house for novels that arent guaranteed to do well, and I kind of got mad. ######

Response:
 YTA— So if it was playing video games or sports would it be “you’re never going pro so stop?” Why was it necessary to try to destroy her work? And what makes you an expert anyway if she has a following? Would you have read 50 Shades of Gray and seen it was worth millions? What great accomplishments do you have to show for the time she wasted on her writing?

But here’s the biggest thing— you can’t take it back now. To herself, to her fans, she’s a writer with interesting things to say, who creates these wonderful stories. And now she knows to you she’s just what makes her useful to you, doing chores, being a warm hand to hold as you watch your games or whatever. You’re not just asking her to give up some of her writing time, you’re asking her to accept she’s really nothing much but your girlfriend, her ideas and work don’t matter to you and your evaluation of her is all that matters. There’s no going back.

You could have said “let’s each put in one hour to clean— after dinner from seven until eight.” Even great writers have other stuff they have to do. ######


Prompt:
I (30 y.o. bisexual male) have been friends with a married couple for a few years now. We’ll call them Jennifer and Anthony. Both of them work in the same industry as me. Jennifer and Anthony are almost 10 years older than me, and established in their careers. Together, they make significantly more money than I do, and they’ve mentors to me at various points in my career. Both are conventionally attractive and aware that I’m bisexual.

We used to go out to dinner once a week and talk about work as well as personal stuff. I’ve also been to their house several times, and have babysat their kids. However, since the pandemic started, we’ve just been Zooming once a week instead. I enjoy socializing with them and consider them to be among my closest friends.

On a recent call, however, they said they wanted to discuss the possibility of “something more serious than friendship.”

I immediately got angry. I said that, even though I’m bi, I’m neither a prostitute nor a toy, and I’m certainly not down for threesomes. They said, “No, no, that’s not what we mean,” then told me they were looking a long-term relationship, not a threesome.

I told them that, even if I were down for a polyamorous relationship, it was still unfair of them to expect me to enter a relationship where power is distributed unequally (after all, they’re much wealthier than I am and have been married for a decade, meaning every decision would be them against me). I told them to go fuck themselves and ended the call.

Since then, Jennifer has texted me several times and her husband has texted me once. I haven’t answered. I’m still angry about this, but now I worry I overreacted. Was I being an AH or what? Should I have been more polite? ######

Response:
 YTA
You are right that would likely be a bad relationship to enter.   But... Yes, you could have been more polite considering they genuinely wanted a meaningful relationship with you.  Since you have been such good friends with them so far, it sounds like they would have been understanding if you had just declined politely. ######


Prompt:
 So here is the story. Me and a friend went on a restaurant at like 10 o clock. So 5 mins later someone takes our order. 5 mins after that, a big group appears( 8 people and not imidiate family members so they were not allowed to be sited in the first place according to my countries covid regulations) they get sited and they order their food.  15 mins later the waiter comes with their food first, but we ignore it and reason that maybe our food takes longer to prepare. ANYWAY shortly after that, a group of 4 teenage girls get sited behind us. The waiter takes their order and disappears only to reappear 15 mins later with their food and he doesn't fuck off to do his job, no, he stays with them and starts chatting with them for a bit. At this point I get angry and call him to order a side dish and i I say " i want something to eat while i wait for my food".
He ignores my comment, eventually the side dish arrives before the food we order 1 hour earlier. After I finish I give the plate to the waiter and tell him to please bring me the food we  ordered and he nods. And here to glorious end of this saga, the food arrives a bit later and I may not  be a chef but I know for a fact that you should not undercook chicken. So at this point I've had enough, we  gather our things and walk out of there like a gentlemen,  we only left 1 euro for the water me and my friend drank. So, the waiter who was assigned to our table was most likely penalised for 25 euros because we didn't pay the bill and I dont really care.
TLDR: I went to a restaurant. It took them an hour to bring me undercooked chicken. I left without paying. ######

Response:
 YTA
The appropriate thing is to let the manager know that you waited for an hour and then your food was undercooked, and only then do you leave without paying. ######