Prompt:
Throwaway because my daughter browses reddit.

My daughter is 17. She’s a really great kid, extremely smart and talented and is in college a year early. Before she went away for college she was always a straight-edged kid, would never go out too late at night and was always home before curfew. As a single mom I put a lot of trust and faith in my kid to continue on the straight path.

However, after she went away for college, she came back completely different. She’s sarcastic, snarky, and always plays “devil’s advocate” when I’m disciplining her. She’s become extremely different and I don’t even recognize her as my kid.

The last straw was a few days ago when she came to ask if she could get a tongue piercing. I was completely blown away, as she has a low pain tolerance and didn’t even want the two lobe piercings she has now. I told her no, that she’s too young for something like that. She sort of smirked and said she’d just get it in September (when she turns 18).

I told her very seriously that if she gets a tongue piercing she’s not welcomed to live in my house anymore. She asked why, and I told her because I didn’t want her to. She said she’ll be 18, so what does it matter? I told her as long as she’s under my roof she’ll abide by my rules about what she can and can’t wear/have/do.

She got red in the face and said she was kidding about the tongue piercing, but she thinks i need to “re-evaluate my views on her right to bodily autonomy.”

At this point I’m very tired of her sarcasm and need to always be right. Her grandmother thinks she’s right about me re-evaluating my views, though she’s also against the tongue piercing. Now my daughter hasn’t left her room and doesn’t want to talk to me. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. Did you really not expect her to change when she started living with a diverse group of people that you can't intimidate or control?

The tone of your post is very disappointed, not in her choices up until now, but that she's not blindly obedient like you seem to think she was until this past year. It's entirely possible you've been more controlling in a bad way than you think and have raised a very sneaky, calculating young adult. You're only noticing it now because you were away from her for a while, and now she's attempting to have the same kind of discussions and debates people regularly have in academia with *you*, as an equal instead of an authority figure.

You sound threatened, not instructional with this "You're not welcome back," stuff. My own mother told me once if I ever dated a (slur for African American) man, I might as well never walk back into her house. She never met the guy but I've taken her up on that, and with any luck she'll already be in the morgue by the time I make it back to my home state to deal with her funeral.

Controlling parents cause estranged children.

Is this hypothetical discussion she staged to get you to think about whether she's a thing you control by remote or a human being you've brought into the world to become a productive adult really the hill you want to die on? ######


Prompt:
I have 2 children, a 9 year old son and a 6 year old daughter. My son had a Minecraft world where he built quite an impressive castle on an island, which he was very proud to show to me.

Since school was canceled, he has had issues with waking up on time. He is supposed to wake up at 7 each morning, but for the past month he has been sleeping in until about 9 or 10. I always set an alarm for him, but he sleeps right through it. I don't wake him up because waking himself up is a skill that he needs to learn. I told him about 2 weeks ago that there are going to be consequences for him if he continues to sleep in every morning. At first, he understood and was waking up on time every morning. But for the past week or so, he has fallen back into old habits. I told him yesterday that this is his final warning. Today, he slept in until 11.

So I followed through with my warning, and went on the computer and deleted his favorite Minecraft world. I also took away computer privileges for the next month. When I told him, he started screaming and crying. He told me that he spent a whole year working on that world, and he's very distraught that he's never going to see it again. He has been crying and sobbing throughout the day, and has refused to eat any of his meals. ######

Response: YTA. Did it feel good kicking down the little boy's sand castle? Shame on you ######


Prompt:
A bit of context: My son had not been doing well in school at the start of this year - his grades were horrible  and I had to be called in multiple times to the school to discuss this. Soon, me and my husband had enough and told him that if he got good grades for the next few months we would buy him a gaming laptop (as he had been asking for a while).

For the next few months he had been studying hard which is quite rare for him. Me and my husband were quite happy to keep our end of the deal when the time came around.

Now we skip to just a week ago when we were in the store buying his laptop. He said he wanted a more expensive one than we had planned which caused an arguement. Me and my husband soon were saying it's the cheap one or you get nothing. He said fine and we payed for it then walked to our car.

While we were walking to the car I tripped and dropped the box with the laptop in it on the concrete. Big fuck up on my part but my son went to the next level. He started screaming at me, telling me it better not be broken.

When we got home he immediately unpacked it from the box to find the screen had cracked on the laptop. He immediately started bawling and being difficult. I told him it didnt matter as it wasnt the laptop he wanted in the first place. He then asked me to buy him another one and I said no because he needs to learn that mistakes happen.

I am thinking right now that he is acting spoiled and he needs to learn that in life some things dont go to plan and people make mistakes and we have just got to suck it up. My husband and I have had a talk about this and he thinks I should buy him a new laptop where as I disagree.

So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. definitely.   This child brought his grades back up, and the mistake (clumsily destroying his reward) was yours.  To teach accountability, replace the computer.

Mistakes happen?  Yes, they do.  And honorable people take responsibility for those they make themselves. ######


Prompt: One time a girl got super intoxicated at a party and started telling her secrets and pretty much making a complete fool out of herself. My friends were recording and laughing so I decided to join in. I started to feel bad the next day but my friends said it’s here fault because if she was an actual adult then she wouldn’t have been the most fucked up at the party. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Damn, is society so fucked that people can't recognize recording and exploiting someone during a weak moment is a shitty thing to do? ######


Prompt:
So due to this whole pandemic, I’ve urged my girlfriend to only order essential things from amazon. It’s a big risk to be ordering unnecessary stuff that could put us at risk. Anyway so as I was checking our orders I saw my gf ordered some kind of gloves. I clicked on it and they were these compression gloves meant for people with arthritis. 1: I urged her not to order unnecessary stuff and 2: she’s 22, she definitely does not need gloves that are meant for someone with arthritis.

I immediately questioned her about it. She told me she does indeed need it to help her since she’s a freelance artist and even with stretching her hands get sore and she has trouble sleeping over it. I still don’t think she needs it. Aside from the whole pandemic, she is *young* there is no reason she should be buying this instead of an older person who might need it much more than she does. She’s putting us at risk for no reason other than the fact that she can’t deal with a little pain. I cancelled the order before it could ship and she got pissed at me. This of course led to a huge argument. My job has me working my entire body, yet my gf not only wants to complain about a little wrist pain but she also apparently *needs* to put us both at risk because of this. AITA for telling her she does not need these gloves? ######

Response: YTA. Compression gloves aren’t just for arthritis. If you’re having pain from repetitive motion or strain they can absolutely be helpful. ######


Prompt:
\*posting for my mom. I am not the daughter in question, I am the brother trying to stay out of the middle of this, and suggested Reddit as a neutral arbiter. throwaway so I can share the results with both of them\*

I'm not sure either of us is an asshole here, but I am looking for different perspectives on how my comment came across.

My daughter has always been in the size 12 range. Not thin but also not obese. She's done a couple of diets here and there when her weight has crept up but I would not say she's constantly struggling with her weight or trying to lose more. She has the same general insecurities that many women do but overall is quite confident.

I haven't seen her for the last 5 weeks or so, but we were able to meet up yesterday. She's now 33 weeks and her baby bump has grown quite a bit since I saw her last. She hasn't gained noticeable weight in her face or anywhere else in her body.

When I saw her, I said, "You look great! All the weight you've gained has gone right to your stomach!"

I meant it as a compliment, I later learned she was hurt and offended by my comment.

The remaining piece of context is that because of her starting weight, her doctor had given her a goal of only gaining 15-25 pounds during pregnancy. We've talked about that several times prior to this point, and she is within that range.

So Reddit, was this a really inappropriate and rude thing to say to my daughter, even though I thought I was complimenting her? Am I an unintentional asshole? ######

Response:
 YTA. Common sense not to comment on pregnancy weight.

And info - does the mother have a history of focusing on the daughter’s weight? Also might factor into the hurt the daughter is feeling. ######


Prompt:
On mobile. Sorry for any formatting mistakes.

My (18m) girlfriend (17f) is bisexual. I love her a lot, but it took me awhile to get used to the fact that she finds more than one gender attractive. And tbh, I’m still not crazy about it but I deal with it because I love everything else about her. She really is amazing.

The other day, we were talking over FaceTime about a couple from school that broke up because the one of them came out as bi. She started to talk about how happy she was that I accept her for who she is and how I’m okay with her being bi. And that’s when I decided to be honest with her and I responded with “actually, I’d be happier if you weren’t tbh. Because there’s a bigger chance of you leaving me because you found someone else and I don’t want to lose you. Especially to a girl.” And she just said “oh” and I asked her what was wrong. And she just said “it’s nothing” and hung up. She hasn’t really talked to me since and she’s been practically ignoring me.

Personally, I think she’s overreacting. She’s always encouraging me to be more honest about my feelings with her, but the one time I do, she isolates herself from me. I was just being honest. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. Coming from a person who’s attracted to people of all gender identities, your way of thinking is wrong. I like to use the analogy of hair color. Let’s say your significant other is blond, but you’ve been attracted to people with many different hair colors over the years. Are you constantly looking at brunettes and redheads being tempted by what you’re missing? Are you more likely to leave that person because of all the other options of people with other hair colors around you?

For almost everyone, the answer is, of course, no. Just because you’re attracted to people with all different hair colors doesn’t mean you feel like you’re missing out on the ones your partner doesn’t have, and it doesn’t make you more likely to have a wandering eye. You love your partner because you love your partner, and they’re the person you choose to be with. No one person will be able to embody every single quality you find attractive, simply because as people, we tend to find many different and mutually exclusive traits attractive (e.g. liking multiple hair colors). This doesn’t make you more likely to cheat, or more likely to explore other options.

Being bisexual doesn’t mean being less monogamous. I’ve been in my relationship for six years, and although I’m also attracted to other genders, looks, etc. than what my partner has, I’m still incredibly attracted and committed to my partner. I am monogamous, and I am no less likely to leave my partner because I find other things attractive as well. Bisexuality does not equate to a less reliable partner. ######


Prompt: My wife (29F) and I (33M) had our first child at the beginning of 2020.  Since my wife was breastfeeding, she always woke up to take care of the nighttime crying as our baby usually would need to be fed.  During this time, I discovered that I would usually sleep through any soft crying, only waking up when our baby was actively yelling.  Things were rough already, but about a month ago the baby stopped sleeping in the bassinet and started exclusively on mommy's chest.  Since that only works if my wife is upright, she's been stuck on the couch every night.  I've tried to take her place a couple times, but the baby definitely doesn't sleep as well with me and I have to admit I don't really want to do it except to give my wife a break.  The issue is that there's always an easy excuse not to: my beard bothers the baby, I have to work early(wife lost her job due to the troubles), there aren't any bottles clean(we started supplementing with formula).  My wife cites these as reasons why she should just do it, but I know it's also because she doesn't trust me to wake up if our baby starts to slide off and, at the end of the day, because I'd honestly rather not have to.  My wife typically puts herself last when it comes to...well, most things, but it's hard to get her to change her mind when she fights tooth and nail to accommodate me.  AITA for not not forcing her to take the night off? ######

Response: YTA. Clean the bottles so that you can handle the night feeds a few nights a week, and look into sleep training. Not particularly safe for baby to sleep on her chest all the time and it’s simply not sustainable long term. ######


Prompt:
I(27M) have been living with my girlfriend (26F) for 2 years. We rent a nice apartment together. I make 3 times more money than she does, so when we moved in together, we agreed on I should pay 70 % and she should pay only 30% of the rent, and she will clean more than I will. She buys more food than I buy too, and she also cooks more(she cooks better than me) Well I slowly realized that since I pay much more money than she does, I should not clean our apartment. So in the last one year she did everything around the house, and I thought she Is okay with it, but today she was upset during cleaning and she told me this is not how things should be. I told her that she should pay more then, but she said she can’t because even though she is working a lot, she buys food too and she can’t save any money. (I don’t believe this) we ended up having a huge fight and she I crying now I think.  I think she is dramatic and not equal.

AITA for thinking I am right ? ######

Response: YTA. Btw if your gf wises up and leaves you your rent is going to increase by 30%, your food costs will go up (because you admit she pays more than her share) and then you get to cook and clean everything. Does this send like a better alternative than helping out with some chores every week? ######


Prompt:
My sister and I had our babies 3 months apart, I'll call hers SB (sister's baby) and mine MB (my baby).  Hers is 5 months old and mine is 2 months old.

My sister had to go to an appointment in the hospital and because of all the Covid she didn't want to take SB so she asked if I could care for him.  I said of course, we're isolated, they're isolated, less risk here that in a hospital.  We both breastfeed our babies so she expressed enough milk to last the day so I could bottle feed SB and I would breastfeed MB.

There was a problem though, I fed SB the amount she said he could eat at each time, and he always seemed hungry still afterwards.   So I heated another Oz of milk at a time so as not to heat too much and have to throw it away.  I tried my best to make the milk last but I was down to 6oz left and I wasn't expecting my sister back for another 5 hours.  I really thought SB just needed another nibble, I was feeding MB already so I just put SB on my other boob.  SB drank a little bit then fell asleep.  The same thing happened a couple of hours later and again, I ran out of milk.  My sister had been delayed with her procedure and wasn't back yet so I just fed SB from the breast.

When my sister came back I told her what had happened, I said I would probably be engorged tomorrow as now my tits think I've got twins, and she went ballistic.  She said it was so disrespectful and I should have given formula if it wasn't enough.  I would never give my kid formula if I could help it and I don't have any in the house.

I can see why she is upset, it's a very personal thing to feed your baby, but I'm not a stranger, SB is my nephew and he was hungry.  My sister texted me how upset she was that I crossed a line and asked how I would have felt, but I think I would have been glad she didn't give MB formula.

I'm not sure if she's being over dramatic or if I'm just a big hippie.  AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. Breast milk is still a body fluid, family or no, and breast feeding is a personal activity for a mother and her child. In the hospital we treat breast milk as a high risk medication and require two licensed people to sign off it's administration because it is a bodily fluid and even donor milk cannot be given without parental consent. Each person gets to weigh the risk/benefit/emotional aspects of their child getting another woman's milk for themselves. Moreover, putting the baby to your breast was entirely wrong without your sister's consent. That's much too personal of an action to take without making sure your sister was okay with her child eating from another woman's breast. Absolute worst case, you should have pumped and bottle fed if the baby was really crying hungry, not breast fed him because you thought he seemed a little less than full.

However, your sister should have left instructions on what to do if you ran out of milk. Letting the baby go hungry isn't really an option.

I think this was an accidental boundary crossing as your didn't know your sister's feelings, and I think your sister has a reasonable boundary about this. You need to apologise, stress that this was accidental as you would feel differently and didn't consider her feelings. Promise you won't do it again, and make sure you have clear instructions on what to do if you run out of pumped milk.

Edit for typos

ETA: I'm a NICU nurse. A baby fed slightly less than it can take is not starving, and won't be harmed. In fact, babies can be very poor judges of how much food they can take without spitting. As long as this baby was being given adequate fluid and calories across the span of the day, he was in no danger, and was far from starving. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because gf has reddit

I (19m) am straight and have been dating a (19f)  who’s bisexual for a little over 9 months now (who we’ll call Anna). She told me she was bi a couple months into the relationship and I was of course, completely accepting and thanked her for the honesty and trust (she’s still closeted to her parents).

Well with everything going on, we had to put a hold on stuff, because I am essential worker, so I decided limited contact with her and others was the safest option. Anyways our state recently opened back up and after about a month of not seeing Anna, I asked her, yesterday if she was okay with me coming over. She excitedly answered yes and I went over.

Everything was great until Anna made a joke saying “thank goodness we can see each other again I was tired of looking for girl on girl porn.” I should preface that we were sexually active before the outbreak. Anyways after the comment I got upset and a little quiet for the rest of the night. Anna noticed and asked why I was upset. I told her it was about her joke earlier and how it made me feel insecure and that she doesn’t really find me sexually attractive because I’m a guy and she’d rather watch girls. She says she clearly finds me attractive because we have sex, but she just finds girls “more attractive.”

After that I decided I was going home and I’d text her in the morning. As I got home I got a couple texts for Anna saying that I was “inconsiderate, not accepting of her sexuality” and calling me “biphobic.” I told her I was completely accepting of who she was and that I was just insecure about myself and I told her we could talk about in the morning.

That was last night, and today she hasn’t returned any of my calls or texts. I’m starting to feel that I might actually be the asshole. Am I reddit? ######

Response:
 YTA. Bisexual woman here. Bisexuality means you are not exclusively attracted to one gender. It is very common for bisexuals to have a preference with gender but if she’s chosen to date you shouldn’t you be extra complimented that her preference is for women? She could be up in some titties and has decided to be committed to your insecure ass lol.

It’s not personal. It’s porn. You jacking off to other women doesn’t make her upset I’m sure. ######


Prompt:
So yea I (29M) found my friend’s reddit account when she sent me a screenshot of a reddit meme which showed her username and I searched for it and was disgusted when I found her and her husband have been a cuckold couple for years and even have few videos (not showing faces) where there are like 5 men plowing her while her husband licks her feet or something. I just lost all respect for her and her husband. And forgot about them, when she called me and suggested a get-together I told her absolutely no and when she insisted what was wrong, I told her about what I saw and her voice started sounding shaky and started “begging” me not to tell anyone, I agreed but told her that I don’t want to do anything with them anymore.

Although she was one of my best friends for about 9 years.

I told my wife and she agreed with me.

But still I feel kinda guilty and asshole-ish for making them feel like shit. ######

Response:
 YTA. Big time. What consenting adults do in the privacy of their own homes is not any of your business. Full stop. You owe them a massive apology.

It's that kind of thinking that prevented gay marriage for so long. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend (21f) and I (20m) have been together about 6 months now. I met her at university but live about three hours away in a really small town. She was visiting at the time lockdown happened, so has been staying with my family and I. It’s been great and my family love her.

With restrictions being eased, my home friends decided to have a socially distanced catch up by a lake behind my friends house. They told me to bring my girlfriend so they could meet her for the first time. We get there and it’s great catching up with them, they’re loving my girlfriend and we’re a bit drunk. We decide to go on a bit of a walk by the lake and for a laugh I decide to push my girlfriend in. The lake isn’t deep at all so the fact she can’t swim isn’t even something I thought about. She struggled a bit before getting out. She seemed unbothered and laughed, until we got home.

My mom picked us up as it’s a half an hour drive and we were both drunk. She hardly said a word to me in the car so when we got back to the house I asked her what was going on. She started crying and asked why I tried to embarrass her like that. I was confused and told her it was just a joke and she got pissed off and decided to sleep in the spare room. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Besides the obvious part where you’re an asshole for pushing someone who cannot swim into any body of water, you also embarrassed the hell out of her in front of your friends who I’m sure she was hoping to impress considering it was her first time meeting them. I know you’re young but if you’re going to have a partner, you need to learn to think about them, not just yourself and what you think is “funny.” ######


Prompt:
I know the title might already make up your mind, but please hear me out.

My fiance's family has very mixed views regarding sexuality and though I have tried my best to try and integrate my father into the mix, it hasn't worked out very well. Now, my father has always been very open about his sexuality and has been for all his life (my siblings and I are adopted), I wholeheartedly support him and his boyfriend of twelve years who has been like another father for me, because he helped raise myself and my siblings, but with my fiance's family's views and the potential for a fight, I decided to talk to my father and his boyfriend about it and ask if his boyfriend could settle for instead of a video conference sort of thing that would be taken by one of my siblings.

You could tell that both of them were whose by the situation. But my father isn't one for confrontations and neither is his boyfriend, who said it was alright because he didn't want to ruin my wedding, but I could see that he was close to tears.

We haven't really spoken about it since (it's been a few weeks) but I feel guilty about it. AITA or not? ######

Response: YTA. Basically you’re saying your fiancé’s family is homophobic and to keep peace you want your father’s partner to not be present at your wedding, even though he’s always supported you and been good to you. That’s such an AH move. You should be standing up for your father and his partner and want them there regardless of your fiancé’s family. Why don’t you ask them to not show up instead? ######


Prompt:
I've been married for two years and for the most part I'd say we have a great marriage. My wife has had some conflict with my family, and in the past I've always taken her side. My parents are both Persian and they were not happy when I married outside the race, but they have not said anything directly offensive. I guess this all happened two years ago but it is just coming to light.

So my parents had an arranged marriage, but most people are surprised to learn that because they did fall genuinely in love. I guess when I was engaged my mom told my wife about her arranged marriage. My wife asked my mom some questions about how it worked and my mom convinced my wife that her father sold her to my father for $300. This objectively makes no sense because my grandfather is pretty well off, so why $300? She gave her a fake story about how my dad would come over and inspect her and her sisters like horses. My wife didn't say anything because she thought it was a secret, but I guess she felt bad for my mom.

Now my sister recently got engaged. The man is Persian but it was not an arranged married. My mom said to my wife, I guess the prices went up because she sold for $5,000. Again this objectively doesn't make much sense because my dad owns a successful business and $5,000 isn't a big deal to him. My wife got very upset and told my dad that he is a pig (he was in on it) and told my sister we would help her get away. My mom admitted it was a joke and now my wife feels like an idiot.

I think it was a bitchy thing to do, but I can't believe that my wife fell for it. She wants me to go to war with my family, but I think it just needs to die a natural death. I did tell her i was surprised that she was so gullible, and now she is upset with me. ######

Response:
 YTA. Assuming your wife knew nothing about your culture beforehand, why would you even think it’s *remotely funny* to make her the laughing stock? Also-

> this objectively makes no sense because my grandfather is pretty well off, so why $300?

Does your wife know that? And even if she did, if she doesn’t know anything about the culture then why would she assume otherwise?

Edit: To add, your family missed a perfect opportunity to actually *teach* your wife about your culture. ######


Prompt:
A friend of mine is getting married to this chick through an arranged marriage. He is really naieve when it comes to women and to top it off he doesn't know that much about her. Call her Nikki. Now, my buddy's mom actually told me and my girlfriend that if we know Nikki or people in her family to let us know, mainly because in Indian arranged marriages it is about marrying the whole family not just two people.

&#x200B;

I didn't know her like that but from what I do know is that she was a regular at frat parties when we went to school. And from what I know too that she was super into white guys. And just on FB she untagged herself from a lot of photos but she is friends with a ton of the guys.

I told my buddy, hey man I know your girlfriend said she went to school and that she spent all of her time studying and never partying... but here is what I found. And that her story that she is a virgin I really doubt that, for a fact she said she never drinks but there are pictures of her with alcohol. And that he should know.

&#x200B;

This spread a lot in his family, but now they are deciding to stick it out anyways, and some people in his family are REALLY upset with me for bringing this information to light? Mainly his cousins. I just followed his mom why am I the bad guy? ######

Response: YTA. Assuming someone has had sex because they hung out with dudes and maybe drank is some antiquated bullshit. Why are you snooping through her shit anyways? and what’s it to you if she is a virgin? Jesus, man. ######


Prompt:
Ok, so my fiancée (21F) and I (24M) have been together for 4 years now. Our relationship has been rocky lately especially being stuck together in quarantine. She moved out here 1000+ miles from her friends and family but hasn’t made an effort to make friends here, so really I’m her only friend. She’s a really sweet, smart girl and I do love her but we just have been butting heads constantly.

I don’t want to go into detail but a few months ago we went through a severe rough patch and I did/said a lot of things I regret. We were both acting shitty to each other and I acknowledged that I was a bad partner during this time. She has held this over my head since.

Today we got into a heated argument about something stupid and she brought it up again and told me how much I hurt her... She then started to have a full on breakdown, crying and hyperventilating and everything.

She started saying shit like “I just want my mom, I want my mommy, I want to go home” which came off extremely pathetic and childish to me. I calmly told her she needs to woman up if this relationship is going to work and she needs to learn how to forgive me. She can’t be crying for her mommy like a 5-year-old child.

This pissed her off and made things worse... Since the fight she has not spoken to me. I love her dearly and I think I was justified in giving her tough love in that moment. It is not normal for an adult woman to cry for her mom like that...

Please help me out Reddit AITA??? ######

Response: YTA. As the only person she knows in 1000 miles why couldn’t you be more understanding and sympathetic? She’s a thousand miles from family and friends during a pandemic and is obviously emotional. Personally I think you should “man up”. ######


Prompt:
I'm a RN who works in NYC (I commute from a neighboring county, takes about 45 minutes to get to work with no traffic).

I don't need to explain how horrible the situation is right now on my unit, but today at least I saw more dead patients than alive ones. I wrapped more bodies for the morgue than I ever have in my 6 years of being a RN.

After leaving work around 7:30pm, I drove home. The roads were completely empty right after I got out of the city. I guess I was a little hard on the gas (78 in a 65). I really didn't notice since I typically go 5 over, but this was my fourth 12-hour shift, and I was going in tomorrow to help the unit since we are overwhelmed.

After I passed a cutout in the highway (cop almost never sits there), I saw him and braked.. too late. He had pulled out and had his lights on.

He asked where I was going/why I was going so fast and I explained I was a nurse (I had scrubs on) and that I really wanted to get home so I could shower, eat some dinner quick, say goodnight to my kids and fiance (I sleep in a separate room to keep them safe). He then said to hold tight... came back and gave me a ticket.

Now typically I support LEOs, I think they have a tough job and when done right are great people. But here I felt it was so wrong. I said "really?? you're giving me a ticket" and he said "yes maa'am you violated the law and there are consequences for that." I just was at a loss of words and told him he was despicable for doing that, he replied "haha, okay"

Now before everyone says to get off my high-horse, please... I've been given a ticket before while heading to the beach with my girlfriends and I fully accepted it and had no reason to speed. But today, with everything we are facing, I just felt like it was a slap in the face. Especially that the NYPD and FDNY applaud us as we enter/leave work. It felt horrible.

However... now the pre-bed time emotions are hitting me and I feel bad for being nasty to the cop. So , AITA here??? ######

Response: YTA. As an RN you’re all too aware of the situation medical professionals are facing. What if you got in a car accident because you were speeding? You *know* what the situations are like in hospitals, even with less people on the road you easily could have hurt yourself or another person. Is that a risk you’re willing to take? Not to mention it’s ridiculous to berate a cop for risking his own life and doing his job. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé James and his twin brother Jack celebrated their birthday recently and I got the two of them the same gift: dive watches with their name engraved on it. I gave my gifts to them separately, James got his gift first at our house while I gave Jack his gift later when we all met at their parents’ house for lunch.

James was very happy when he opened his gift that morning but he got all quiet after he saw me give my gift to Jack. Jack didn’t open it there but when we got home James asked me if I also gave Jack a dive watch. I said yes. James was disappointed and said that he’s sorry but he can’t help but feel that his gift is not as special after finding out that I spent the same considerable amount of money to buy the watch and the same effort to personalize it for Jack.

I told him that of course that wasn’t my intention, I just don’t think that giving the same gift to two people should mean that you put the same value on them. I love James in a way that I will never love Jack even though Jack and I are close and have been friends for longer than I’ve been with James. I got them the same gift because I thought that both of them would like it, that’s all.

AITA? ######

Response: Yta. As a twin he’s probably super tired of always feeling as ‘one of two’ and you, the one who should appreciate him as himself alone above everyone else just treated him as ‘one of two’. ######


Prompt:
Okay,  so this was kind of in response to a "trying to feed a cat vegan" post,  and someone mentioned rabbits; it reminded me of an interaction I had the other day. My friend said she got two rabbits as pets and sent pictures... The cages are small,  for starters. I didn't really know what to say about them because I don't get the whole "keeping rabbits as pets" thing. I grew up on a farm way down south, the "pets" we had were dogs (because sheep etc) and rabbits were considered pests and/or food. (yes,  we were local hunters,  yes we used 100% of the animals, yes we obeyed population and seasonal laws) but my friend absolutely lost her mind saying you can't eat pets, it's sick, yadda yadda yadda. I stand by what I believe and I didn't say anything rude,  just "I don't see them as pets,  just food."
AITA for saying I consider rabbits food and not pets? ######

Response:
 YTA. As a former rabbit owner I can say that people who think they are clever for pointing out rabbits are often eating are super annoying. Its like asking if you can get something for free if it doesn't scan correctly at check out. Trust me. You aren't the first person to say it.

Unless something is wrong with your mentally I don't believe you have no concept of a person owning a pet and not wanting to eat it. ######


Prompt:
While the company I [21F] intern at was preparing to switch to wfh protocol, my boss’s [38?M] wife [3?F] came into the office to help him move his computers and stuff more quickly. I saw her car idling outside the building and stopped to say hello. She snarked back something about telling it to my coworker, who would drunkenly repeat it back to her later. I asked what she meant and she said that only losers hate trophies.

I pretty much knew she was talking about something I said to my coworker about finding my boss attractive. He’s a normal to good looking dude, but so smart and cool and pretty much the perfect catch if he were single. I told my coworker in confidence that he is so great that he didn’t seem like the type to go for a trophy wife.

I know his wife has a good career, but it’s in a female dominated industry that is also both her parents’ profession. She gets raises every year for doing the same thing slightly differently, where my boss is a go getter who is always looking for the next challenge. She can be reactive and kind of rude, like she was to me that day. My boss is laid back and hates to hurt people. All the partners think she’s a riot and grossly tease my boss for “landing” a woman like her, but other interns find her to be a bit sharp. Like I see the obvious attraction but was just surprised a guy like him who is so down to earth and genuine could fall for her looks when they seem so mismatched.

I guess my coworker repeated this to the wife (I guess to curry favor???) because she was so snarky to me. My boss has been short with me over email, where he was once friendly. It’s been long enough now that I can’t ignore the shift in tone and am wondering if it was that big of a deal.

AITA for telling a coworker my thoughts? It’s not like I made a move on him for him to me acting awkward or for his wife to be mad. ######

Response: YTA. Are you kidding me? Your behaviour is totally inappropriate and you're being blinded by your immature crush on a married man. ######


Prompt:
So, due to current events (I won’t say what because I don’t want to be filtered out), the “family group chat” was having a discussion about the apocalypse and what we’d do if it happened. We were all having a good time, just talking about who in the family would be on the apocalypse team, who would be the weak link, etc.

My wife’s sister was making fun of her brother, saying that she wouldn’t want him on her team and he’s useless! And if they were the last people on Earth humanity was obviously done for. Note here, my wife’s sister is adopted. I made what I thought was a funny quip, saying she would repopulate the Earth with him no problem, and he wasn’t so useless after all. I know this was a mistake, the chat went dead silent, I know I shouldn’t have said it. I apologized immediately and said it was just a joke but I knew it was uncool. I thought that this was enough, I didn’t mean anything harmful by it.

My wife stormed into the room and started yelling about how much of an idiot I am and how embarrassing I am. She yelled at me for so long, brought up so much stuff and not just this. It went on so long that she took a break to have a snack and take a nap, got up, and started yelling and screaming at me again. I know I made a mistake making the comment but I feel she’s being the asshole too for totally overreacting to the comment. It’s like I’m living in a house with a demon, whenever I see her she’s on this shit again about how gross and embarrassing I am, she can’t trust me with her family, her sister is so upset, etc etc.

AITA or is she/everyone else (maybe) for overreacting? ######

Response: YTA. Are you for real? That’s an outrageously inappropriate joke. You’re lucky we’re in quarantine and your wife can’t bounce. Embarrassing doesn’t even begin to cover it. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is currently in 9th grade and is attending one of the best public schools in this country. I am so proud of her and it breaks my heart to know that I will have to change it by next year. The problem with this school is that although it excels in education, it's a really non-religious school so to speak. What I mean by that is, religion is not taught at all and students have too much freedom (little restrictions on what they can't do).

I had no problem with that because I can teach her religion at home and I trust her not to be too friendly with the guys.

Yesterday, my husband and daughter had a massive argument. He caught my daughter talking to a guy on the phone who was clearly flirting with her and she liked it. My daughter told him that they are just friends and foolishly admitted that when she goes out with her friends, they include the guys (I do let her do that but without my husbands knowledge). Because of this, my husband is considering installing some tracking and other privacy devices on her phone and will change her school by next year. I am against invading my daughters privacy so I will try to convince him not to do that , but I do think changing her schools to a more religious one is the right decision. I am really worried about her future by staying here. When she heard the news she was heartbroken and did not speak to us all day. Do you think I'll be in the wrong by changing her schools? ######

Response: YTA. And, if you want to alienate your daughter and eventually drive her entirely away from you, you and your husband are *definitely* going the right way about it so far... ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because a few of my coworkers use reddit.

So I'm a teacher at a relatively low income school. If you didn't know, this week is teacher appreciation week and though school has been cancelled for the rest of the year we still give lessons online.

My school's administration set up a drive through so that we could still pick-up our teacher appreciation gifts, and afterwards a large group of us teachers would decorate our cars and drive through the surrounding neighborhoods with signs for the students stuck at home.

I brought along my (18F) daughter, who I'll refer to as K, and my other daughter (12F). I had K drive my truck in the parade so that my youngest and I could sit in the back with the signs and wave to everyone.

Well, about ten minutes in K made a wrong turn (weren't leading) and we got seperated from the group. I started yelling for K to turn around which caused her to freak out and start crying. She pulled into a driveway and managed to catch up with everyone but I was rather annoyed at her. She had one job, to follow everyone else.

That wasn't the only thing, she kept driving slower than everyone and I had to continuously tell her to keep up.

When we got back to the school K was still upset and I kept trying to tell her to just let it go. I apologized to everyone for the inconvenience and some teachers told me that I should not have acted so harshly to K, one teacher actually hit the person in front of her, and pointed out that all things considered K did fine.

K hates driving my truck and it always stresses her out, but I stand firm in my belief that as a soon to be college student she should have experience driving a wide range of vehicles. Also how hard is it to just follow in line with a bunch of cars?

Either way my daughter told my wife what happened and now she's annoyed at me too. I just want to move on from it now, its done and overall we had a good time, but apparently it's still an issue. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. And this:
>I stand firm in my belief that as a soon to be college student she should have experience driving a wide range of vehicles

Is a stupid belief. Of course she bloody doesn't have to. Are you sending her to college to become a professional car mover ?! ######


Prompt:
I’m 24 and am about to finish my first year as a kindergarten teacher. Sadly not the end of the year I hoped, but oh well. This story is about this girl I went to high school with who I’ll call Cal. Cal and I were never particularly friends in high school, we actually did not care for eachother.

She was very loud an obnoxious, and because she was one of the prettier girls in the grade, nobody ever told her to stfu or that she’s being super annoying. Well, besides me. I have known her since we were in 1st grade so I don’t really have a problem with calling her out.

With teacher appreciation week just ending, I of course shared a lot of things on Facebook about being a teacher and how badly I miss my students. Cal did the same thing, albeit a bit more extreme. She posted many things a day about how she can’t wait to get back to her “students” and she misses getting to “experience them learning”.

I put all that in quotes because Cal works at an after school day care center. She does not have a degree in education, I don’t think she has a degree at all. She is not a licensed teacher. She does not have students, she is essentially a babysitter.

I commented on one of her posts, sarcastically congratulating her, asking what grade she taught and if she had any good lesson plan ideas for online classes. My comment was deleted right away, and she messaged me calling me a bitch. Saying that she knew I was trying to make fun of her, but she’s just as much of a teacher as I am since “we work with the same age kids”.

Maybe I was a bit petty, but it’s kind of funny. Aita? ######

Response:
 YTA. And I say this as a teacher. Sure, she may not have a license, but she spends a lot of time professionally caring for kids in a school-like capacity.

You just sound petty and judgemental. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been married to my wife for two years now and she’s always wanted to have a child  with me. She mentions it often. I’ve even been “trying” to have one with her. The problem is that I’ve had a vasectomy and she doesn’t know.

My ex wife came over and dropped off our 3 kids 9, 5 and 4. And she’s pregnant by her now husband. Well her and my wife were talking about her new baby and if she knew the gender. Now my ex knows that I’ve been fixed as I did so after our youngest was born.

Well my wife says “I can’t wait to be pregnant, we’ve been trying to have a baby with no luck but it will happen when God allows it” my ex just smiled and she then looked at me and I knew what she was thinking with the look she gave me.

Later she texted me and told me I needed to tell my wife the truth and that she had baby fever and it was cruel to give her false hopes and pretty much called me a A$$hole. So AITA? I know it’s a little dishonest but it would break my wife’s heart to know the truth. ######

Response: YTA. And I love that your ex called you out on this. YTA for not disclosing the vasectomy before you got engaged to your current wife. This may have been a deal breaker for her and you misled her into a marriage with you. Come clean and accept the consequences. ######


Prompt:
I have two children with my ex, 8 and 7, I've been with my husband  for 6 years and we have a 3 year old together.

I used to live just down the road to my ex so he would pop by every day to see the children but then my partner got offered a promotion meaning we had to move, it's about 120miles away from where we were living originally.

We moved late last year and right now we are still figuring out custody, ex visits the weekends, usually staying in hotels,  and skypes every two days.

He's arguing that he wants the children for two weeks of the month and is willing to move to do so (he's put this on hold while his partner is pregnant) but to have them every two weeks he would have to pick them up at 5pm and the next morning leave to get them to school at 8;20, it would be too hard on the children.

The children have started to grow closer to my partner and further away from my ex, which isn't my fault, my partner *had* to move.

Well, he wanted to phone yesterday while the children were playing with their dad (my partner, their stepdad)  and when I asked them they said they didnt want to talk to him on the phone today, in the morning though if they could.

When I told this to my ex he went off on a huge rant about how I'm selfish because I moved them 120 miles away and how I should force them to talk to him on the phone, he has a right to talk to them etc and basically ended it by saying he will be pushing harder with the custody agreement and will be mentioning this.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. And alienating. Your partner got a promotion, not you. You chose to move the children 120 miles away from their father because it was best for you. He's their fucking dad and you're acting like he's more of a beloved uncle. They aren't just your children they're 50% his. It's worse for the kids to be alienated from their dad because you can't be bothered to make an effort than for them to have a 2.5 car ride every 2 weeks so they can maintain a healthy relationship.

Signed
An adult who was alienated from their dad as a kid

A mom who shares 50/50 with my kids Dad because that's the RIGHT thing to do ######


Prompt:
When I was zoomin with the boys a little bit ago and we were all adding funny backgrounds. I decided to step it up a notch an found an ISIS flag image that worked as zoom background (it’s harder than you think). Well it was a hit with the boys so I kept it on there.

Well today my fiancée joined a zoom using the IPAD for her aunt’s birthday so there were family members on there too. Well the ISIS flag background showed up automatically. She backed out quickly realizing it was up as she knew beforehand that background was on there. But she’s still a little upset that it was on there. I shared this with the Boys and they think it’s funny, and I do too (it’s a good bit).

So am I the asshole or should she lighten up? ######

Response: YTA. An immature joke between you and your buddies is fine, but you made it your fiancee's problem. Grow up, man. ######


Prompt: My girlfriend and I are having a baby. She is six months pregnant. She keeps asking me when I'm going to quit and she gets mad when I say I will soon. I was planning on waiting until I took paternity leave to quit but she wants me to quit now. She keeps saying the smoke smell is bad for her and the baby, but my parents smoked all the time and I'm fine. ######

Response:
 YTA. Among other things, you plan to try to quit smoking...during paternity leave? When your girlfriend is going to have a newborn child she'll want to have help caring for probably and who you are meant to bond with? THAT'S when you want to start trying to kick an addiction?

Dude. Quitting is hard; don't plan to squander the first month of your child's life on anger and cravings and bargaining. ######


Prompt:
I’ll do my best to keep this short. I have 3 boys with my wife ages 10, 8, and 7. The middle one is the son in question. Let’s call him Austin. I’m no barber but I know how to cut hair. I cut their and my hair if it gets too long. Last year my son started wanting to skip haircuts and my wife said we should let him grow it out if he wants to. I was reluctant because I care about our family looking neat and presentable. I budged in the end.

Austin’s hair got way longer than I ever would agree to. It is past his shoulders. His brothers tease him for looking like a girl and I wouldn’t be surprised if he got that at school too. I asked my son if he would like to cut his hair. He said no but he’s a child. I talked to my wife over and over about it who insisted that he be allowed to decide for himself. I disagree because I think he’s too young to know what is appropriate or not. I wouldn’t allow one of my kids to wear his swim shorts to school. You have to teach kids by saying no sometimes. When she was at work today I decided to cut Austin’s hair and apologize to my wife for it later. He looks way better. He didn’t want the haircut at first but now says he likes it.

When my wife got a look at him and heard that I made him cut his hair, I swear steam came out of her ears. I have never seen her so angry. She told me I was a bad father today and refuses to even talk to me. While we were arguing she said she had half a mind to leave me over this. I think she is making a really big deal out of hair that my son does not even miss. I knew she would be angry but this seems like blowing it way out of proportion. Hair grows back. Anyways, AITA here? ######

Response:
 YTA. Although he doesn't miss it now, that could have turned out totally differently. Meanwhile, you've completely undermined your child's choices because of some outdated societal pressure that you personally feel.

If kids are making him feel bad about having long hair then I'm sure he'll decide for himself to change it. Kids don't get a lot of choice in what they do, so to take that choice away for something which only matters to him is ridiculous.

You've also completely ignored your wife's opinion and gone off on your own like you think you know better. Spoiler alert: you don't know better based on this. Not surprised she's mad. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because my girlfriend has reddit.
My (34) girlfriend (22) have been together for a year and a half. She has recently started a Timothee Chalamet fan account. She watched one of his movies and became obsessed with him. She lost her job because of Covid-19 and decided to start up a fan Instagram thing or whatever recently where she pretty much posts updates about him and communicates with other fans or whatever, now I wouldn’t care if it was a secret but she posts about it on her personal Instagram, which has my colleagues, family and friends. My colleagues are constantly poking fun at me and my family are now weirded out by her. I tried to talk to her about it but and asked her to close it but she said she enjoys it and won’t close it. I stood my ground and was firm with her, then she started crying and just went to bed. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Also, you're 34 and she's 22??!?!?!?!!?!?! Stop parenting her. If she wants to run a fan account, she runs it. Mind your own business. ######


Prompt:
This happened a few months ago in January, and I still feel kinda conflicted over this.

I have a mutual friend let’s call H. I don’t how his guy has so many friends, he’s not a bad guy, he seems like a very naive and gullible guy but I find his personality to be quite strange. Most of his personality and interests and hobbies are based on being a fanboy. He constantly talks about how much he loves and supports FC Barcelona and Lionel Messi and is obsessed with hating on Ronaldo. He also constantly fanboys various sports teams and musicians like Billie Eilish, Eminem and Avril Lavigne. I just find it so odd that he bases his entire personality on asskissing other people.

Recently he told us he kinda developed an obsession with Taylor Swift (lol) and said how he was a Swifitie for life and flooded his social media with posts about Taylor Swift and was jamming out to Taylor Swoft songs on his headphones. I thought this was fucking cringey as hell, so I tried to humorously tell him that he was cringey and weird in a very humorous tone so it wouldn’t hurt his feelings. But I was fed up with his shit. He just laughed it off and kept doing his thing (he’s a very nice guy I can’t deny that)

WIBTA if I nicely told him that his personality was weird and that he should fix it? The reason why I find him so off putting is because his personality is e embodiment of slave mentality and being a brainwashed sheep, and I hate when people act like that ######

Response: YTA. All you are is mean ######


Prompt: My daughter has been doing digital art commissions online for the past 5 years. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m glad that she is able to be completely independent with this and support both herself, and her boyfriend while he attends college. But my problem here is that I feel like she is wasting her life. All of her friends went off to actual colleges and already graduated with degrees that will help get them somewhere big. My daughter? She took like 5 classes in community college, said schools not for her and wanted to “focus on her art” instead. I know this sounds shitty but I *want* to have things I can be proud of her for, I *want* to tell my colleagues and friends how I’m so proud my daughter graduated college! I’ve tried speaking to her and telling her you know life moves on and maybe she likes drawing but she’s almost 23 and it’s time she starts thinking about her future. She’s stuck in the past while her peers are years ahead of her, already graduated and some with jobs already. She *needs* do get up and get a real job at some point. I’m only thinking about her future. Because of this art thing she has no college degree, and ZERO job experience in the last 5 years. She’s basically fucked herself, but I still believe she can make it work. She just got angry with me. She told me to stop trying to tell her what to do with her life and that she’s happy and comfortable now. I’m not trying to dictate anything, but I’m trying to stress that she think about her future for once. She refused to listen to anything I say. What is she just gonna not have a real job or any experiences to back her up for *another* 5 years? I won’t be supporting her then. But I’m willing to now and apparently she doesn’t want that. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. All I heard in this post is about what *you* want, what will make *you* feel good, what *you* want to be able to tell *your* friends. Newsflash buddy, this isn't about you. Your daughter is her own person with her own life and interests and if *she's* happy and supporting herself, that's all that matters. Sucks that she has a selfish parent who can't see past their own nose. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend (23M) and I (22F) have been living together for almost a year now and everything has gone smoothly until corona forced us into lockdown. My boyfriend works an IT job and has been working from home since March (no issues with that). He doesn't start work until 8:30 but wakes up at 4:30 everyday, while I like to wake up around 7 or 8.

The issue is that he makes a lot of noise when he wakes up. We live in a super tiny 1 bedroom apartment so he wakes me up every morning. He always cooks eggs and toast for breakfast so there is pots banging, water running and the toaster is super loud. After breakfast he sits at his desk and uses his super noisy keyboard.

I have talked to him about this numerous times and he always apologizes and says he's trying to be as quiet as possible. He bought me ear plugs a month ago, but they are so uncomfortable I can't fall asleep with them in my ears.

Today he woke me up again so I asked him (rather forcibly) to either sleep in until a more reasonable time or to not make any noise until I wake up. He was super upset and claims I am trying to control him. AITA for asking him to do this?

He likes waking up early so he can 'get a head start on the day' and feels he is more productive in the morning. Although I don't think its fair if its affecting my sleep schedule. ######

Response:
 YTA. After reading the comments, you're definitely the asshole. OP states that the boyfriend has made efforts to quiet down, but OP has done nothing.

OP refuses to wear ear plugs

OP does not adjust the sleeping schedule to the boyfriend.

OP would prefer the only WORKING person in the house eat at a later time so OP can sleep more after a hard day of not working.

OP can buy a fan for some white noise. There are ear plugs in all sizes to accommodate your ear shape. Wear noise cancelling headphones. Go to sleep earlier. Do something. A healthy relationship consists of both people making an effort. You are the asshole for not making an effort to help your boyfriend and yourself. ######


Prompt:
We don’t live together yet, but we will be moving in together in 4 years once I complete my doctorate degree. He knows I will be bringing my cat with me when we move in, and he knows my cat hates big dogs (my cat once sent me to the ER because a 40lb dog jumped up to say hello while I was holding my cat, and my cat climbed onto my face out of fear). And now my cat will be living with a 120lb Pyrenees in a few years. I do indeed want a big dog eventually, but I was hoping to get one as a pup (once I’m already living with my partner) so my cat wouldn’t feel threatened if he could witness the pup grow up into its full size.

But my boyfriend impulsively kept a Pyrenees puppy given to his family, and he’s chosen to keep the puppy as his own without consulting me on my opinion. I understand I can’t tell him what to do since it’s his dog and his house (and perhaps it’s hypocritical of me since I have my own pet I’m looking out for), but I’m upset that he’s making this decision that will heavily affect me and my cat.

Edit: thanks for the input everyone. Definitely seems like I’m the asshole here. I’ve already offered to help puppy-proof my boyfriend’s house and help him find a vet to get started on scheduling a neuter, microchip, and vaccines. We’re going to acclimate our pets via scent until the pup is fully vaccinated and can safely visit my backyard for a meet and greet with my cat. ######

Response:
 YTA. According to you it's 4 years. That's plenty of time to acclimate your cat to a big dog. And honestly, who knows where both of you will stand then. He should put such a big desire on hold for something 4 years away.

If you were moving in sooner I'd understand, but for something 4 years away, that's excessive. ######


Prompt:
During Freshman year of HS, my twin sister and I made a deal that whoever had the lower rank had to do the other person’s chores. We’re both extremely academic focused people, so that’s probably a reason. Our mom agreed to this, and we made a full on contract.

Fast forward to Junior year. So far, I’ve always been higher, but barely. I’m currently ranked 2nd in our school while my sister is ranked 3rd. Doing a bit of calculating, we figured out that my sister is just a single tenth of a percent lower than me. She wants to be done with the deal so that she doesn’t have to do my chores. I disagree, it’s fun hanging out with my friends(virtually).

She complained to our mom, and she just said that my sister and I have to make a mutual agreement to amend to contract. That’s perfect for me, since the contract is already perfect.

She probably complained because school is about to be over, and she would have to do chores all over the summer.

My sister just called me an asshole.

So, AITA? Either way, I’m not amending the contract. ######

Response: YTA. A whole summer of no chores because you barely eked out better grades than she did? Way to ruin your relationship with your sister. If you value your sister at all you’ll amend this “contract” and come up with something more equitable. ######


Prompt:
Some background:

My cousin and my aunt have been staying with my parents and I for a little over a month. She separated from my uncle and had to leave the house .
I live in my parents basement apartment and when I was working and going to school I only saw them briefly. Now that we are home together, I have been taking to them more.

I typically walk my dog a mile or so in the morning and 2 miles in the evening. She has been getting longer walks lately, and last week I asked my cousin if he wanted to come along for a walk with us. We walk at a quick pace but not super fast. As we were walking my cousin started getting very winded. At this point my Fitbit said that we had only walked .6 of a mile.

He doesn’t have asthma or anything, so I was really confused about him being tired. I’m 20 (so only a few years older than him) and I make this walk without even thinking about it daily. I let him rest for a minute then we proceeded walking. About .3 of a mile later he needed to stop again. I live in a hilly neighborhood, but I still think the stopping was a bit excessive for someone his age.

Without thinking I was like, “wow bro you’re really unhealthy.” He got upset and went back home. I continued my walk. When I got back everyone was mad at me, my parents yelled at me, and my mom even instructed me *not to talk to him* which I think is silly.

Now that time has passed, my aunt says that my cousin is developing “food anxiety” and doesn’t want to eat what she prepares for him. I have also noticed that he has been doing things to lose weight like jump roping and stuff.

My parents and my aunt are blaming his anxiety on me, and saying that I’m a bully. They want me to apologize for what I said to him. I do think I was a bit blunt, but am I really the asshole for telling him he’s unhealthy? ######

Response:
 YTA. A well meaning one sure. You cousin may not necessarily be unhealthy he’s just not used to walking in a hilly area at probably a rapid pace.
Not being conscious of your words and the fact that he’s still a child might have set off something like an eating disorder. Boys get those too you know ######


Prompt:
 I was putting my boyfriend’s kid to bed earlier when she told me she loved me. I said it back and then she said “Are you and my dad going to get married?” I replied that I didn’t know, because well, I don’t know. We’re not at that stage yet. Then she asked me what would happen if her dad and I didn’t work out and whether I’d still be in her life if we broke up.

Maybe I should have spoken more carefully, but I said, “I can’t guarantee that.” I really can’t guarantee that I’ll live in the same city or country as her if we don’t work out. If we don’t work out I’ll move on and find someone else, and if my new partner wants to move out of the country or to another state, I’ll of course follow him and I expect that his daughter will move on with her life too and maybe bond with his next girlfriend. I’d be happy to text and call occasionally, but I’m sure that I’d fade from her life too in favor of boyfriends, friends, and people who remain in her life.

When I said that, she immediately started crying, wrapped her arms around me to the point of choking me, and wouldn’t let me leave her bed until she fell asleep. I feel awful for what I said, but at the same time, it’s the truth for all of the reasons I stated above. I’m sure that she might miss me at first, but I’m sure her dad would move onto another woman and she’d have to live with or spend time with her dad’s new girlfriend. AITA for what I said? ######

Response: YTA. A simple "I hope so" would have been fine ######


Prompt:
My daughter (13F) insists on sitting in her room (on her computer) and doing her school work. She gets about 5 hours of work on weekdays and none on weekends. I would much prefer she sit downstairs in the living room and do her work so I can a keep an eye on what she's doing and who she's talking to. Apparently (according to her) she has to attend a meeting call with her peers and teacher for every lesson, she NEEDS to be in her room so no one disturbs her and so she has her notes to refer to.

We've been having some good weather lately and I've been asking her to go outside for walks and bike rides. Apparently she is too busy to go every day and now usually goes every weekend or so. I have screen time installed on her phone and she spends ONE WHOLE HOUR on her phone everyday! It's "essential" during the lockdown and she needs it to "contact her friends".

I finally had enough yesterday and decided to confiscate both her new computer and phone for a week. She will get them back provided she spend one hour outside every day for this week. She has an older slower laptop she can still do her school work on.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. A lot of what you described is very controlling behavior, and you indicated that only an hour of this daily screen time is to chat with friends (which is especially important in lockdown), and the rest of it is actual work. An hour is nowhere near unreasonable. You also mentioned that she is listening to you and going outside on the weekends. To me it sounds like you have control issues, and that's the real problem. Leave her be and be thankful she's healthy and respects you enough to work your advice into her life. ######


Prompt:
My little brother (21, I'm 29) were watching a show with a deaf character. He said, "As a deaf person, I'm glad they didn't make her look like a helpless burden." I asked him when he lost his hearing, and he said he can still hear. I told him he's not deaf then. He said he can only hear quiet muffled sounds in his right ear, and I told him that doesn't make him deaf.

He went on about how he has to set his phone sound balance almost all the way to the right, how he can't play video games because he doesn't know where the enemy is coming from, how people have to speak into his left ear, and how he has to search the entire house when his cat meows for attention.

I told him that having mild hearing loss doesn't make him deaf. He said, "Hearing people don't get to decide what we identify as. End of discussion." I told him that he literally is a hearing person, and he walked away and called me disrespectful and ableist.

AITA? I feel like I'm just stating basic facts that anybody would know. When I was a kid, deaf was considered severe hearing loss; not having one ear you can only somewhat hear out of. ######

Response: YTA. A lot of deaf people have some form of hearing they are not all totally deaf. ######


Prompt:
My ex and I have an uneasy co-parenting agreement. Usually it's the details that sparks arguments. My biggest thing is that I don't want them drinking soda (sons are 10 and 13). Soda is awful for kids to drink. When they are with her, she lets them drink Coke for lunch and dinner. They are all hyped up on caffeine and sugar the next morning when I pick them up. Plus it's bad for their teeth. I just spent a lot of money for them to get braces and they have to be extra careful with taking care of their teeth. Her reasoning is that they are old to decide what they want to drink at meals and it's not fair for her to have a Coke and not them.

I had them my half of the week and decided to show them Leprechaun 6: Back to Tha Hood since they couldn't do anything for St. Patrick's Day. They thought it was the funniest movie. The drug references went over their head. My ex had a fit over my showing them an R-rated movie though kids see worse on Youtube. I gave her the same reasoning as she did with giving them Coke - they can start making their own choices on some things. ######

Response: YTA. A drink of soda the previous day doesn't make kids hyper the next day, that's your own made-up bullshit. Your excuses for showing them a blatantly unsuitable movie don't stack up either. ######


Prompt:
My wife (30) and I (31M) have been married for 5 years. We’ve always wanted kids and were discussing having a kid once everything calms down. The problem is that for the past year my wife gained a few extra pounds probably because she started working longer hours in a high stress environment. She recently started working out at home; trying to get back in shape since both of us have been working from home lately.

My wife is 5'2 and weighs about 140lbs (estimation) so she's overweight for her height. I told my wife I think she needs to lose at least 15lbs before she gets pregnant because it might cause health complications for her and the baby during labor. She got really offended and called me an asshole.

I didn't mean to say anything offensive to her but the reality is giving birth while being overweight causes health complications to the baby and mother. I love her regardless of her weight but I believe she needs to be in shape to carry a baby as it could be potentially dangerous.

AITA for telling my wife she needs to lose weight before she gets pregnant? ######

Response: YTA. 140 and 5'2 is not crazy overweight, and unless her doctor says otherwise, won't cause significant issues for her labour and delivery. You basically just told your slightly-above-average weight wife that she's too fat to have a baby, and that's a major asshole thing to say. ######


Prompt:
I’m (19M). My twin sister is (19F). We have little brothers who are (15M) and (13M). We’re all living together at the moment. Pretty much out of the blue yesterday, my (13M) brother asked me who my favorite sibling is. He never asked me this before. I didn’t hesitate to say that my twin sister is my favorite person in the world. We used to hang out with each other all the time and shared a room until we went to college. Bunk beds though people. We’re back home and sharing the same room again. She understands me better than anyone in the world and no one makes me feel happier than her. We both have SO’s now, but still I’m usually happier when I hang out with my sister. This is not to say that I don’t love my girlfriend and other family members. I love all of them. I didn’t say the above explanation to my brother because he knows already. I don’t know why he would ask such a dumb question and I’m one to give straightforward honest replies.

He said that’s understandable. He then walked over to where our sister was at and asked her who her favorite sibling was. She said she likes all of them equally as much and she couldn’t possibly choose. Again, I know deep inside she would choose me, but she likes to spare feelings. However, I feel our brother is too old to be asking this. If he were 5 years younger, I would give the answer our sister gave. Our brother told our sister my answer to the question. She seemed flattered. However, she told me privately later that was an insensitive response. I told her that our brother is too old to be asking that shit. She said age doesn’t matter in this and the correct response to that question is never to choose one person in particular. I asked her if she really loves me the same as she loves our other brothers. She said that’s not the point, but yes, that she does love us the same. I was a little hurt by that. I don’t think she really means it. ######

Response: YTA. 13 is still young and he obviously has some type of feelings about his relationship with you guys. I've heard twins have a special connection, but I don't know why you need to make your little brother feel like you could never love him as much. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because my niece uses Reddit.

I (45f) recently saw my niece (24f) for the first time in almost a year at a small, outdoor family get together for the 4th of July. We’re all very proud of her as she finished her bachelor’s, works full time at a job she loves, lives alone and supports herself independently and is putting herself through graduate school. I don’t drink but most of our family, including my niece, had been drinking throughout the day.

I overheard her talking about drug use with my sister (her aunt) and joined the conversation. I’m not sure how they got on the subject, but apparently my niece had a problem with painkillers when she was in high school, bad enough to the point that she almost overdosed and asked to get treatment. I was irritated that her mom never mentioned this. She assured us that it was circumstantial, she was coping poorly with a lot in her life at the time and she hasn’t touched drugs since she started mental health treatment and went to an “outpatient treatment program” (that’s her nice word for rehab) in high school.

I found this odd and alarming as she was clearly drunk and if she was truly addicted and had a problem, she shouldn’t be drinking. Her mom wasn’t at the gathering so I called her after we left. I was very shocked as my niece has always had a good reputation and seemed to be doing well before all this. I was hurt that she felt the need to hide it for this long and concerned about her drinking. I told her mom about the conversation and suggested she may still have a problem. My niece thinks I’m an AH for “telling on her to her mom” when she’s an adult instead of bringing my concerns to her directly. However, I know addiction pretty well and I know if I confronted her she’d deny she has a problem.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. 100%. No question.

1. You started off by saying that your niece has her life together. At her age, that's impressive.

2. She is an adult & gets to make her own decisions...which includes a lifetime of mistakes and lessons to learn.

3. You're not her mother & you have no business acting like a controlling parent.

4. Having HAD a problem with painkillers at one point in life doesn't mean someone's an alcoholic because they're getting drunk at a gathering.

5. You say you know addiction well... Are you a therapist, addiction specialist, or have anything other than an uninformed opinion that makes you some kind of expert?

6. She was talking to your sister, not you, when you decided to join in on the conversation...uninvited. Maybe there's a solid reason she felt comfortable enough telling your sister about it & not you......hmmmmmmm, I wonder why!?!?!?

You sound like an absolute nightmare of a family member & need to mind your own f'n business. You're lucky she just thinks you're an a**hole. I'd personally never talk to you again if I was her. ######


Prompt:
 I've been sitting on this for a couple of weeks now and I'm really torn on what the right thing to do is.

The felon is my ex, Mark. Mark works as a sous chef at my friend’s restaurant.

I dated Mark for a couple years, starting when we were 15, we were each others firsts and he ghosted me when I told him I was pregnant with our daughter (27). The last I heard of him was when his mom told me he was in prison; this was around 20 years ago. Fast forward to now, I've been married for the last 12 years, have a 11f and 8m, I have a well-paying job that I love and my daughter is engaged to a wonderful young man. Neither my husband or I have any family around anymore so we are still really close to Mark's family.

So my friend took a day off from work and wanted to try out her own restaurant, she invited me and a couple other of our friends along. We had a great time at the restaurant and when service had calmed down a little the sous chef (Mark) personally came out to take our dessert orders. He looked pretty much the same, except for a beard and a buzzed head.

What rubbed me the wrong way was that he introduced himself with a different name. I think he may be impersonating someone else. I've only told my husband about the incident, who thinks that I should stay out of it. I acknowledge that it can be difficult for someone with a record to make a living, but I feel that he is being dishonest and my friend is being conned.

So Reddit WIBTA if I told my friend that her sous chef is a convicted felon? ######

Response: YTA. 1) you’re convinced it’s him with no real proof after almost 20 years, that’s weak. 2) if it is him, there’s a very real possibility that he could have disclosed his past to his employer but introduces himself by another name to the public. this is not illegal and it is not uncommon for ex-cons to be ashamed of their past and not want to publicly acknowledge it. 3) while i understand that the justice system can be fucked and doesn’t always make the right decisions, assuming his conviction wasn’t for like, burning down a restaurant full of people or something violent and harmful, let the guy live. people can end up in prison for so many different reasons. ideally, the point of incarceration is to change people and have them pay their debt to society. if he’s gotten out and is just trying to earn a living and move on with his life, who are you to try and mess that up for him? 4) good luck going into any restaurant kitchen in the world and not finding someone who hasn’t been to jail or prison. ######


Prompt:
My friend Tina is a very large person. She is like 5'5 and around 300 pounds. She claims to have a thyroid problem. But really she just eats all day everyday. Nothing she eats is healthy, and she really doesn't like to exercise.

I, myself, go to the gym everyday and I eat vegan. I've tried to get her to eat vegan with me and go to the gym with me. But she won't do either. She says she can't afford a gym membership so that's why she doesn't exercise.

It doesn't bother me that shes fat but it bothers me that she makes no effort to change it. She claims that she really doesn't have a choice due to her thyroid. But I think that if you put your mind to it, you can do anything.

I really want her to live a healthy lifestyle and embrace exercise. She is really pretty but doesn't get attention because of her size and I feel bad about that. She is often jealous of me because I do get attention from boys even though I don't draw attention to it ever. And often turn them down away.

She's really nice and I love being her friend. But she gets really offended when I comment on her weight and suggest that she go to the gym with me.

She has since refused to talk to me for the last couple days because apparently I went to far when I said "have you gained more weight lately? Maybe we can workout at home instead of the gym. I can help you."

I didn't mean it to be mean. I'm just concerned for her health. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. “But I think if you can put your mind to it, you can do anything.”

Yeah, and people with depression should just stop being sad and people with eating disorders should just, like, stop and eat normal or something instead. Just put your mind to it!

From one thin, vegan chick to another- you’re a bad friend. She doesn’t want your help or your pity, probably because you’re a bad friend. Making unsolicited comments about someone’s weight, any direction, is messed up. You’re a bad friend. You’re a bad friend. You’re a bad friend. ######


Prompt:
My ex and I broke up in 2017 we had two daughters together and I had a son from a previous relationship. Back in 2019 I got married to my now wife.

My daughters mother and I get along ok. I had actually cheated on her with my now wife so those two didn’t get along for awhile and it was pretty awkward when we first started doing visitations as they obviously had some tension between them but now they are good terms and actually speak and talk to one another.

I just text my ex and get my kids whenever I want and she either brings them to me or to my wife. Well she recently moved in with a man and she brought him over to the house when she dropped my kids off and wanted to introduce him to me as she says they are engaged.

I told him my name and shook his hand and he tried to talk to me but I really didn’t want to speak to him. He seemed a little bothered by it. He seems like an ok guy but he is noticeably older than my ex. She’s in her late twenty’s and he is at least in his late 30’s or more and I’m just uncomfortable about it. My daughters told me they love him and he was really nice to them. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.
You cheated on your ex With your current wife and you expect her to be cool with that but you won’t talk to her fiancé that she got with after you broke up? There’s no scenario here where you aren’t the asshole. ######


Prompt:
My(56M) first marriage ended 6 months after the death of our son (then 16) because my ex wife became a zombie who refused to move on in any shape or form.

Now, two years later, I have a one and a half year old daughter with my wife (33). I can’t spend enough time with her and she and her mother two of the greatest joys of my life.

My daughter from my first marriage is 15 now, and has been getting in trouble in school and with local authorities ever since the divorce.

My ex wife finally took her to a therapist who referred her to bereavement counseling. My ex then calls for the first time in about a year and says I needs to be there.

The problem was, these are family therapy sessions and it would mean the frustrating experience of dealing with my ex’s emotions and her inability to let go of someone who’s gone forever.

I tell my wife about it, and she says that she wasn’t comfortable with me being in such close quarters with my ex and that my toddler needed me.

I was already feeling guilty that I sometimes miss moments like when my kid spoke her first word, and I don’t want to upset her mother even more.

So I called my daughter personally and said I couldn’t come. Since then, she’s blocked me on Facebook. Today, I get a call from a friend of my ex wife who told me she was arrested for public intoxication and underage drinking. She also blames me,even though my daughter was destructive when I was still married to her mother.

AITA? I just don’t want to mess up my second chance at happiness. I also resent how all of my daughter’s problems are written off as “ dad’s fault.” ######

Response:
 YTA.

Your divorced your wife within months of your son's death (and timeline wise, you were having an affair with your current wife as well) and then ditched your older daughter because you are selfish. Your wife is selfish. YOUR CHILD needs you. Not the toddler, the older child screaming for help. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because my girlfriend knows my main.

I (30M) have been living with my girlfriend (27F) for a while and mostly it’s been great. The problem is this: she gets tension headaches from time to time. Not too often, but often enough. The way she prefers to deal with these headaches is wrapping an ace bandage around her head. She says it helps putting consistent pressure on her head. I asked her why she doesn’t just use ibuprofen she said it doesn’t always work and they happen frequently enough she doesn’t want to over-use it, besides.

This doesn’t make sense to me. It doesn’t just stop working sometimes. I just think she doesn’t want to take it and is making up reasons.

The problem I have with it is the ace bandages make her look ridiculous. Like a mummy and her hair gets all crazy. Sometimes she wraps them around her eyes too so she just lays there looking dead.

So today when she started wrapping her head I told her it looks dumb and offered her an ibuprofen. She tried to tell me she didn’t want it, but I told her I was less attracted to her when she wrapped her head up. I said it nicely, but she looked hurt and took the bandages off. She took the ibuprofen and unwrapped her head and we continued watching tv. Even an hour later she was still wincing like she had a headache and eventually she just got up, took the bandage, and went to our room.  I asked what was up and she said she’d prefer to talk after her headache.

She’s making me feel guilty and like im TA but I was only being honest! I try to look nice for her, why wouldn’t she want to do that for me? ######

Response:
 YTA.

You’re going to be in for a surprise when you find out people don’t always look bangable for the partners 100% of the time.

Example- when you’re sick, when you’ve given birth.... when you have a debilitating headache.

Try being supportive to HER needs next time OP, not your aesthetic. ######


Prompt:
Hi guys,

So my sister said I should share this here. I volunteer with middle school kids doing science type stuff because I am a science major about to go to medical school. Anyways, I went to judge at a science fair and they told us there was this big emphasis on them being able to explain things correctly. One little girl was super nervous and was trying to explain a concept I thought was very difficult for someone in her age group to grasp. I told her "Sweetheart, I'm going to stop you here because I think you are nervous, and so I'm going to explain something to you so that you can explain it to other people better next time." Her mom was there and didn't really seem to mind when I was done explaining polarity to her, her mother even asked her if she thought she could explain it better now, to which she replied yes. I also reassured her that I would not dock her in my judging because I thought the concept was a little high level for her and that her inability to explain it had nothing to do with how good her overall project was (it was decent, not amazing). A bunch of my fellow judges were horrified and said I shouldn't have stopped her. I thought it would be better to correct her on the concept instead of knowingly let her explain it wrong to other judges. Everyone else thought I screwed her for the rest of the day by making her more nervous (although judges who went to her after me DID say they were impressed by her). Anyways this is probably dumb, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

You were there to judge. While it could have been a teaching moment, you should have at least let her finish first. One of the biggest things you can learn as a teacher is to not talk over/jump to correct struggling students, because it could stifle their willingness to try again in the future.

This little girl wasn't explaining quickly/clearly enough for you, so you jumped in and did it for her. While I'm sure you didn't mean harm, that type of behavior has a much bigger negative impact for the student. ######


Prompt:
My brother has two kids, 9 and 13. Their mother is out of the picture. Our family has been very supportive of him and his kids. My brother remarried and it was more of a "rebound" marriage for him and a marriage of "convenience" for her. My brother is a nice guy and makes good money. He only started to seriously date because his kids were older and he had more time. He was in one LTR that ended badly and then he started dating "Melissa." I was very suspect about her. Just like how my brother plays up the knight in shining armor, she played up the damsel in distress looking for her prince who would basically take care of her financially.

Long story short, they married two years ago. His kids do not view her as anything more than dad's wife. There is no parent-child bond. In fact, they have nothing in common with her. They don't like, but don't dislike each other. She's not particularly invested in them.

Lately, she's been bragging and complaining about being a "mom." The way she talks, you think she's talking about her own kids, but she has none of her own. She's talking about my niece and nephew. Often her brags and complaints are embellished as most parental brags and complaints are. Not too long ago, she was talking about how she feels like she's "failing my kids" in a lame "woe-is-Mom-ME" move. I couldn't take her and told her she wasn't a mother and no one seriously saw her as one either. I also told her that no one believes the marriage is going to last anyways and no one is even going to remember her.

And I am the nice brother! ######

Response:
 YTA.

You don’t have to voice every thought in your head. Like we teach our kids, first THINK.

Is it True? - maybe. It’s your perception of the situation but officially she is their step mother.

Is it Helpful? - definitely not.

Is it Inspiring? - nope.

Is it Necessary? - nope.

Is it Kind? - really big nope.

So, yeah. When you say an unhelpful, unnecessary, uninspiring, unkind thing... YTA. ######


Prompt:
Disclaimer: This happened last February. My colleagues have been giving me shit for it ever since.

I am a High School English teacher. Last February, I was teaching mythology. During the test on the subject matter, I caught a student peeking off another student's paper. I took the test from him and he got an automatic "0."

After I taught mythology, we moved on to *The Catcher in the Rye*. I decided to give the class an extra incentive, and for voluntary extra credit, have them write an essay on why *The 39 Steps* was Phoebe's favorite movie.

I saw said cheating student writing the assignment in his planner, to which I tell him "you are ineligible for this assignment."

He confronted me after class for telling him that he was ineligible for the assignment for two reasons:

1. He felt that because he got a "0" on an exam, he "needs the extra credit more than the other students."
2. He did not take kindly to me "humiliating" him in front of the whole class.

I was speaking to other teachers and my department head on the matter, and they thought I was in the wrong. I'm sorry, but if I allow him to take extra credit after he cheated on my exam, that would be giving the whole class the idea that it's ok to cheat on my exams, when it's not. My colleagues thought the "0" was "punishment enough" for cheating and that I didn't have to bar him from extra credit.

Sorry, but I disagree. I'm just trying to prepare him for the real world, especially university, where if he cheats in university, he could be expelled. In the real world, crimes and punishments are very rarely 1:1. ######

Response:
 YTA.

You clearly are not conveying to the class that it is okay to cheat on an exam, he got a zero. The only way you would be signifying that was if you only offered HIM the extra credit. The whole class is eligible for it, so yeah, you are punishing him twice. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway, mobile, etc
My (28M) SO (24F) recently started noticing that her hairline was receding. She claims that it got really bad really fast and doesn’t know why. Now, she’s often one to overreact about everything, so when I found her crying in the bathroom about this, I went about my business as if she wasn’t there. I really, really do not care if she loses her hair, she’ll still be herself and I love her to pieces. She got mad about me disregarding her, and I told her, verbatim: “I do not care if you lose your hair. It doesn’t matter to me, and it shouldn’t matter to you, either. Looks aren’t everything, you’ll be okay!”
This somehow made her even more upset and now she’s crying by herself in our room. I do not see what the big deal is, and I genuinely will still find her attractive whether she’s experiencing hair loss or not. I’m wondering AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

you are viewing her hair loss in terms of how attractive that makes her to you. she's upset because losing her hair affects her self-esteem, and her self-esteem is not wholly dependent on how attractive you find her. it also depends on: 1) how attractive she finds herself 2) how colleagues/friends/relatives perceive her 3) how society in general perceives women with hair loss.

she's going through a traumatic experience and you keep brushing away her feelings by claiming that you don't care. ######


Prompt:
Ao my fiancé works nights and sleeps during the day which is fine. I have no problem with that but lately for the past 2-3 weeks whenever I make dinner and try to wake her up to come eat, she gets all agitated and doesn’t eat which pisses me off big time.

It’s not like I wake her up at like 5-6 in the afternoon, I always wake her up at 8-9 PM to eat, so that way she can enjoy her meal and get some more rest before starting work at 12. It just really frustrates me because I love eating together and I always look forward to eating together and chatting rubbish you know ?

Idk maybe I should let her sleep til 9/10 and then eat ? But then she doesn’t have enough time to let the food digest and stuff like that..

Please let me know if I’m being an asshole because I am just so tired and upset over something so small like this ######

Response:
 YTA.

You are upset because your finace won't adjust her sleeping schedule so that you can "eat together and chat" when you want her to? Because you've decided that she needs to eat at 9 or else "she won't enjoy her meal"? And for some reason she's incapable of digesting food and working at the same time, so you think she should "let the food digest" before she goes to work?

How did your wants and desires become more important that what HER body is telling HER it needs?

Besides her food and her sleep, what else do you gatekeep? Do you keep her on a regular schedule for intercourse? Do you demand that she only have her period when it's convenient for you? ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend [24F] and I [27M] have been dating for 5 years now. I don't have any social media - no facebook, instagram, twitter, snap etc. I am a private guy and like keeping my personal life to myself.

My girlfriend on the other hand, is obsessed with instagram. She has over 800 photos posted on instagram and is constantly scrolling through instagram every waking moment she's not working or sleeping. She would rather spend time attention-seeking from her 5000+ followers than spend some quality time with me.

I confronted her a few times about this in the last few years, and she always tells me she'll cut down on her instagram usage but she never did.

Last week she was using my laptop because her laptop was at the store and noticed she forgot to logout from her email. I did the forgot password thing and reset her password to log in. I googled "how to delete instagram" and followed the link and deleted the account.

She woke up the next morning and started screaming and crying about how I permanently "deleted" her instagram instead of "deactivating" it and that I betrayed her trust etc.

Now she won't talk to me because she says she can't recover instagram and her profile of 10 years is lost forever. I think she's being incredibly childish and throwing a tantrum over some random app.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 YTA.

Why would you delete her account instead of just breaking up with her if you weren’t happy? Did you genuinely think she’d be like “well my instagram’s gone. Guess OP and I will go for a walk in the park and then stare into each other’s eyes for a few hours before a passionate love making session”??

Get real dude. ######


Prompt:
I knew when our son was born I was probably going to take a back seat in my wife’s life, but not like this. Every time I get home she mostly talks about him. He’s 8 months now already and still he’s the topic of like everything she brings up. She’s always holding him and kissing him while I feel neglected.

I told her she was obsessed with him today after I just had enough. I told her he doesn’t need to be the topic of every conversation, and I can’t even remember what our marriage was like before he came into the picture.

I can’t believe I sound jealous of an 8 month old but still. I feel significantly lower on my wife’s priority list ever since he’s been born. She said it’s pathetic that I’m jealous of an 8 month old who I helped create. And she’s not anymore obsessed with him than any loving mother would be with their baby. She’s taken offense to it but I don’t believe I was wrong. She tried to make me feel like I was wrong for saying that. ######

Response:
 YTA.

What else does she even have to talk about when she's at home with him all day? ######