Prompt:
So a bit of a backstory is I’m a (27M) in a relationship with a (25M). We’ve been together for two years now, and I do love my boyfriend. The only thing is that he has a pretty severe stutter. His speech impediment isn’t so bad when it’s just me and him, but his anxiety towards his speech goes through the roof when we’re out in public.

In the beginning of our relationship, he would always have me order or speak on his behalf because it lessened his anxiety. But for the past couple months, he’s been taking speech therapy classes and is determined to speak for himself now out in public. The only thing is that he still cannot speak well. Nobody understands him at restaurants, and what should be a quick two minute chat turns into a 30 minute drawn out conversation where the other person is clearly uncomfortable because they can’t understand him.

So I’ve been continuing to speak on his behalf to make things easier for everyone, even though that goes against his wishes and it’s obvious he’s angry with me. He said he needs to practice speaking, but isn’t that what his therapy is for? It obviously makes other people uncomfortable and causes anxiety for my boyfriend, even though he’s trying not to admit it. So am AITA for continuing to speak on his behalf even though he’s told me to stop? ######

Response: YTA - put yourself in his position, his anxiety is never going to go away if he is scared of a negative reaction caused by his stuttering, and there is a good chance his anxiety is causing his stutter to get worse. Let him see there is nothing to be afraid off and he might improve. ######


Prompt:
My gf says I'm an asshole since I complained about a restaurant online and in person for this. We went to a restaurant and everyone there was mexican and we were the only black people there. We tried to order our food and nobody there spoke English. I speak really bad spanish but I tried. This fucking pissed mr off, you shouldn't be allowed to run a business in america if nobody in the business speaks english, I lived in Latvia and over there you need to speak Latvian in order to work, which I did.

Anyways they mess our order up and give us shit we didnt order or even mention yet demanded we pay for it. We refused and only paid for the shit we order. I don't handle spicy food and I told them not to add spicy sauce or peppers yet they did.

I left a bunch of bad reviews online and I told then this is the worst restaurants rxpierence I've had. My gf says I'm an asshole but I dont think so. ######

Response: YTA - Once you found out there was a language barrier that made you uncomfortable, you should have left.  They are free to open a business in this country and speak whatever language they want, just as you are free not to give them your business and go elsewhere.  If you want Latvian rules, you should move back to Latvia.  In this US, we have the freedom to speak whatever language we want. ######


Prompt:
I’ve (36M) been with my wife (28F) for 7 years, we are currently expecting our first (she’s only 9 weeks along)

**Disclaimer; this is the silliest argument I’ve ever had**

Last night we were laying in bed when I noticed she had stretch marks  from lower to mid back, I personally thought they were pretty, she has really smooth skin apart from the stretch marks she has on her thighs and now her back.

I don’t know why but out of boredom I traced the stretch marks, bad move on my part.

She asked what I was doing and I said I was tracing  her stretch marks, she went silent.

This morning she basically told me I shouldn’t have done that and I’m a giant AH for saying what I did knowing she was insecure about the ones on her thighs, she left around 7am and hasn’t come back since.

I don’t think what I did is that serious, but,

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA - not for tracing the stretch marks, that just seemed like an innocent mistake

Your an ass for saying it was the silliest argument you have had, don’t belittle her emotions and feelings as silly ######


Prompt:
My cousin (18f) and I (21f)  were never really close because she was the beautiful darling girl of the family while I was just the "smart" one. It also doesn't help that we were just two different people.

My cousin is known to use so much photoshop and makeup on all of her pictures to make herself look older than she is. She's not aware of the real world and how some of the older men tend to be towards young women around her age.

Today, my mom told me that my cousin got knocked up by her 22 year old boyfriend. I feel as if the boyfriend is only using her for her looks/ sex. My family has a long history of 16-20 year old women becoming mothers too quick. I'm the only one (so far) who isn't a mother at 21.

I told my mom that my cousin had just fucked her life up and that she needs to get a job and not try to rely on her parents money. My mother got mad because I wasn't like everyone else in the family who was excited and kissing my cousin's ass.

I blame her parents for not putting her on birth control when I told them that I know guys around her boyfriend's age and how a lot of them are known to leave once they get the girl pregnant. I blame the boyfriend for not being mature enough to buy condoms.

I defended myself by saying "if I've gotten pregnant at her age, you would be pissed off. Why are we kissing her ass for spreading her legs without protection."

I understand that a pregnancy is a huge thing in my family because of the history of young women getting pregnant. It could also be the fact that I have a hormonal condition that would make it hard for me to have children if I wanted them and that i could be jealous that I might never have that experience myself.

Am I the asshole for not being happy for my young cousin's pregnancy? ######

Response: YTA - not for being underenthused, but for your general attitude/demeanor.  You don't have to try to take away from her happiness by "blaming" the grandparents to be or demeaning her lifestyle choices. ######


Prompt:
I [16M] am very upset with my parents since they added a Firewall to our home WiFi. They did this without telling me, and since I frequently play video games on my PC, I immediately suspected something was wrong when my discord wasn’t loading up. I googled the issue and I found that half the websites I looked at to solve my issue would load and were blocked. Upon investigating I suspected they added a firewall to our WiFi, and my theory was confirmed when Snapchat wouldn’t work on my phone with the WiFi on, but with data it worked fine.
Now this is where I might have been TA. I stormed my parent’s room asking why they blocked so many websites except ones they enjoyed. (Instagram worked and I know that my father likes to scroll through it on a daily basis). Their explanation was that my sister has been using TikTok. I asked them if punishing me for something my sister did wrong was fine with them, and my dad shrugged and said that the firewall worked and that he could add websites and apps I needed. I responded that there were too many to count and that due to the fact that a lot of my schoolwork gets done online now it would be a pain to have to do an assignment on a website and discover it is blocked due to our firewall. I advised to just punish my sister another way and remove the firewall but he refused. I then screamed at him that this was unfair and went back to my room. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA - Not for being mad, but for how you did expressed it. It would have taken, what, 10, maybe 20 minutes to get the various permissions for websites/apps added. Would that much time truly be so unbearable without the apps?

You threw a tantrum that is unbecoming at your age. Personally, I hope your dad keeps everything off and restricts data on your cellphone for a week or so. ######


Prompt:
Many months ago, I promised my son that I am going to buy him a laptop because he wanted one really badly. However, after seeing his terrible school marks I decided that the laptop will cause nothing but distraction so I ended up not keeping my promise. My son was devastated obviously but he moved on after some weeks.

&#x200B;

Everything was great until yesterday my daughter decided to bring up the discussion about the laptop again. She told my son that she saved enough money for it and is planning to buy him one today. I was surprised that my daughter managed to save up this much but also mad because I made it clear that he isn't allowed with a laptop. I told her she is not allowed to buy one but then she told me that she's doing it with "her" money. Let me be clear, that money is in NO WAY hers. The cash she has was given from me or my husband whenever she wanted to go out (and I guess she saved most of it) and money she got from her relatives during her birthday. Things escalated quickly and I ended up having to make my daughter give me back the money I and her dad gave her (she could keep the other part).

&#x200B;

My husband is upset and doesn't agree with what I did and I'll admit I overreacted by asking her to give me my money back (I'll consider giving it back to her in a few days) but I still made it clear that my son isn't allowed to have a laptop yet. AITA here? ######

Response:
 YTA - Not because you're saying no to her buying it, but because you're saying it's your money.  It's not.  When you give someone something, it becomes theirs.  You should be proud she knows how to save *her* money.

What you should have said was that as his mother, you're saying that he can't have a laptop no matter who buys it.  You went in a really wrong direction  with it. ######


Prompt:
Celia dumped me last night and gave me a list of reasons why.  Some of them I can understand why and I should have been a better boyfriend to her but there is one that I don't get where's shes coming from.

My now ex turned twenty one in November 2018.  We had been dating for almost a year.  So there's this indy movie theater in our town that shows old or foreign movies every weekend.  And one weekend, they were going to be showing the Naruto movie for the first time.  My friends and I fucking love Naruto but it was screening the same Friday as Celia's birthday.  In hindsight, I should have just asked Celia if we could celebrate her birthday some other time but I had already been hyping her up on taking her out for a movie and drinks with friends and I already dug myself in too deep for it.  And she was going to be out of the country for this study abroad thing so I wasn't to see her for months afterward.

So Celia wanted to do drinks but she wanted to see another movie that was getting some pretty crappy reviews.  So I talked her into watching the Naruto movie instead because it was awesome and it would be cool to watch a foreign film on her birthday (Celia loves foreign movies).  She was reluctant but had a good time that night.  I didn't think about it again until she brought it last night.

Celia told me she was pissed that I pulled a bait and switch on her birthday plans.  Especially at the bar after the movie when our friends were gushing about Naruto (her words, not mine), she felt left out and wishing she watched that new Harry Potter movie instead.

Was it an asshole move though?  I should have paid Celia more attention in hindsight but we got to do movie and drinks like she wanted?  The theater was showing Naruto that one night only and she could have watched her movie any time she wanted, even in another country. ######

Response:
 YTA - let me rephrase your post.

“I wanted to go to a movie and it just happened to be on my GF birthday, I couldn’t get out of doing something for her on her birthday without looking like a jerk, so I tricked her into doing what I wanted to do. Basically I had a nice fun night and she just tagged along.”

You said yourself that you didn’t treat her very well. Here’s the main reason why, you didn’t think about anyone but yourself. Next time, try thinking about what would make your partner happy, over your own feelings. (Within reason) ######


Prompt:
My wife is current angry because we’re supposed to be a team. I had kind of an odd childhood. My mom clearly didn’t want to be a mom and was almost never around. My grandfather was very rich and just let her live the heiress party girl lifestyle and pretend she didn’t have a kid. I know part of the time she was just off partying but a lot of times I was told she was sick or at the spa. She went to the spa enough that as an adult I was convinced it was some sort of rehab.

When I was 12 she showed up with a man and casually told me they were married and I was coming to live with them. She had another kid and we were never allowed to talk about where she had been for 12 years. She had the emotional capacities of a toddler and would go from showering me in gifts to crying because I wasn’t receptive enough. My stepdad just got pissed every time I “made” her cry

This has all left me with abandonment issues and a skewed sense of what is normal. Recently I wanted to confront my mom and ask about my childhood. My wife came for emotional support but my mom really doesn’t like my wife and when she realized what I wanted to talk abut asked for my wife to leave. I asked my wife to please give us space.

My mom clearly didn’t want to tell me and made me promise multiple times that I wouldn’t tell my wife because she thought she would get some pleasure out of it. We had a good conversation and she told me about her childhood abuse, the mental illness she was diagnosed with, alcohol issues, and I was right about the spa being rehab.

Now my wife is angry that I won’t tell her. I feel that even though we are married my mom has a right to just want me to know. ######

Response:
 YTA - just a bit.

You're letting your mother control your life again. It's as simple as that. She controlled you as a kid, put the blame on you for not responding like she thought you would and is telling you what you can and can't do as an adult.

Here's the thing: this will drive a wedge between you are your wife. Your mother abandoned your for 12 years.

Your wife wanted to be there for you, knowing your issues with your mother and the fears you have about being abandoned... She wanted to be there for you to support you and now you're shutting her out because the person who have you those issues told you to.

How would you feel if the roles were reversed? ######


Prompt:
My son, James (23) has been dating Kelly (22) for three years. And, well, I don't like her. She has attitudes and views that conflict with mine and we've clashed more than once. However, there is an effort on both our ends to be amicable and I don't want to be one of those awful mother-in-laws you see in films and TV shos.

Last week we had a family gathering and James proposed. Kelly said yes. We congratulated them, clapped, I gave them both a kiss and a hug and wished them all the best. I tried my best to contain my disappointment, but I guess it must have not been enough.

James talked to me about it the next day and I told him how I felt. That I don't like Kelly, I don't think she is going to be a good wife to him, and I don't see their marriage working. However, and I reinforced this more than two times, I would not do anything to oppose their marriage, nor would I ever be rude or unpleasant to her. I have no say in who he chooses and I have to accept it. I said that I truly hope I am wrong in my judgement and that they have a wonderful marriage and life together.

James wasn't too happy with my honesty and when I talked with my best friend about this, she said it was awful of me to be honest and that I should have just smiled and lied. AITA here? ######

Response:
 YTA - it’s one to say “ I don’t like her”

It’s another to say” she won’t be a good wife and your marriage won’t last.”

Especially since you haven’t given any evidence that she will be a bad wife or that it won’t last ######


Prompt:
There are 4 of us living in a pretty sweet apartment in our college town overlooking this one sorority. A lot of girls from that sorority hang out in the building pretty frequently.

Anyway so we have a huge balcony that the four of us were chilling on that’s on the second floor of the building and I guess within earshot of the sorority.

Classes were delayed at our school, so we were having drinks (just the 4 of us) on our balcony. Eventually we started talking about some girls at our school in ways that any college guy might in private, saying things like “X is hot” or “Y got with Z” etc.... but at one point one of my friends (stupidly) mentioned that girls at the sorority nearby were “fun to play with, but just like playdough, not to eat” and he meant that in that those girls didn’t have the best track record for anything long term.

So I guess a couple girls from the house next door heard him. About an hour later, he went to pick up food for all of us down the street and said that those girls saw him and yelled at him for what he said and what we were talking about, saying that we were being misogynists and the sort.

We didn’t mean any I’ll intent, and we were all in our private apartment (I guess perhaps a little loud) so are we the assholes for what we were talking about? ######

Response: YTA - it’s not only bad to say sexist, racist and homophobic things to people that are affected by them. It’s sexist to THINK that way about women, and if you weren’t sexist you would have corrected him. ######


Prompt:
I have two teen daughters (16 & 13) and 3 step sons (15, 17, 11). One daughter and one stepson share a bathroom and he always leaves the seat up which really bothers my daughter, we've both asked him numerous times to put the seat back down but he rolls his eyes and dismisses her.

I put a little lock on the door and gave my daughter the key so now he has to go all the way to the guest bathroom downstairs and across Evey morning and during the day. My husband took it off the door but I put it back on the next day. My husband broke the lock and told me I couldn't do that and we got into an argument because it was more of a joke but I was hoping he would learn a lesson.

AITA? I thought it was kind of funny and would also teach him to put the seat back down. My husband and stepson didn't see it as a joke and are upset. I can't tell the my stepson is upset just because his dad is, or is my husband upset just because his son is. ######

Response: YTA - it’s a shit joke and imagine being in your sons shoes of needing the bathroom in the middle of the night and having to walk across the house to pee. try harder to get him to leave it down there are better ways of teaching children basic manners ######


Prompt:
My husband and I have been married now for over 10 years. We had our wedding in my home country although at the time we were both living in the US. In my home country there are certain customs that people follow in the wedding speeches. A couple of weeks before the wedding my dad gave my husband a book of examples detailing the customs to help him write his wedding speech.

Basically, the groom is supposed to thank people and compliment the bridesmaids. We were giving out thank you gifts to my family members who had planned and thrown the wedding for us. So this was sort of a big deal for my husband to get right.

Well, he did the thanking part perfectly. Got everything right, it all went very smoothly. However, he forgot, in his speech, to mention me AT ALL. The book did not tell him to compliment the bride, say how much he loves her and so forth. That was taken as given - the groom should want to do that regardless.

For the most part I don't care, I think it's funny. But he regrets it - both because it represents an imperfection in his speech (he went on to become a professor and teach public speaking among other things) and partly because he hates to have let me down (maybe?).

I take every opportunity to poke fun at him and remind him that he didn't pay me a single public compliment at our wedding. He hates that I do this. But he didn't mention me in his wedding speech! Am I the asshole, should I stop? ######

Response: YTA - It's funny the first couple of times but being the butt of a joke over and over again gets old real fast.  It's like you're holding a grudge over something small that happened years ago even though your husband felt bad enough and regretted it at the time.  Why do you feel the need to keep rubbing his nose in it?  Just stop already. ######


Prompt:
We had a new part time girl in our warehouse, a teenager, 15. She very soon becomes popular with us as she's hardworking, pleasant and sometimes give out snacks and small gifts.

At first I like her too but recently during a casual conversation she brought up that she her family is actually quite rich, that is why she could afford gifts and such.

When someone asked her why is she even working here when she could easily find other part time jobs that doesn't require as much labour and pays better, she answered that she worked here because she wants to train herself. She said that she wanted to prove to herself and her parents that she is a capable person if she could "lower her head down" and do "this kind of job" without a single complaint.

I am not sure what other people thinks, but to me I sense an undeniable arrogance in her speech which triggered me off. Not starting a sob story but I am definitely not as privileged as her and the reason I am working there is because I had no other options.

I kind of snappishly told her that she shouldn't be flattering herself. She is not "lowering" her head because she isn't any better than us, like, in terms of education level we are the same, if not just a little higher than a 15 year old right now. I told her that if she truly wanted to train herself she should start by thinking of us as equals.

The conversation ended in an awkward tone as she got red and walked off. The girl did not turn up later at all and she has actually gone home and quit the job without bothering to get paid.

The other colleagues said that I am being too harsh on a teenager who has a positive mentality and instead of encouraging her, I was a bitch. I admit,  my words slipped and I was indeed bitter for a moment, but I do think that she needs to know that we are not inferior, and we should nip that thought in the bud. If it made her quit the job it just means that she doesn't have what it takes that she thought she had. ######

Response: YTA - it sounds like she was just trying to prove to herself and her family that she could make it on her own and wasn't just a little princess. You liked her until you found out she was from a wealthy family, and then you made the whole thing about your inferiority complex. ######


Prompt:
I think the title makes it sound weirder than it is but here we go. My boyfriend’s brother is working on his masters and in order to support himself, has an OnlyFans where he posts both solo videos/pictures and videos of him with other men. It might be worth noting that his brother is gay. My boyfriend was open about the fact that his brother did this and didn’t seem ashamed by it. Even though I was morbidly curious, I never seeked out his videos.

Fast forward to me meeting his brother and building a bit of a friendship with him. We get to talking about twitter one day and he ends up following me. I end up following him back. His twitter I would say is 3/4 standard tweets and 1/4 teasers for his only fans. This includes snippets of videos, naked pictures, and close up pictures of his regions. When these videos come up on my feed, I admittedly watch them. I’ve never masturbated to them. I just find them interesting. I usually will stop, watch the snippet, and then keep scrolling like normal. I hadn’t thought much of it but when my boyfriend found out that I looked at them at all he freaked out. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. It’s just kind of part of following his brother on twitter. But, I told him I would unfollow him if it would make him more comfortable. But, he seems more upset on principle than anything. I really don’t think it’s that big of a deal since I’ve never masturbated to it nor do I have any desire to.

AITA for watching porn of his brother when it’s just part of following him on social media? ######

Response:
 YTA - it doesn't matter whether you masturbate to it or not.

put yourself in his position.. you wouldn't have any problem with your bf watching porn of your sister? ######


Prompt:
I’m an adult finishing up my Bachelors degree. I realized I got a few scholarships last semester that I didn’t apply to. I didn’t apply to any scholarships for that matter.

Now the school keeps pestering me to meet with the donors via zoom to thank them. I believe it was around 1000.00 usd.

I don’t want to.

I’m already busy enough. I work full time an hour away from home, so that’s basically 12 hours away from home. I have two kids that I try to interact with for a little before I work on the two classes this semester. Also, I’m getting ready to have surgery in a week.

I told them I’d write an email. Then they responded I can record a video and they would send that.

I’m thankful for the money, but I never asked for it. I think a written email should suffice. ######

Response: YTA - in the time you've spent writing about this on Reddit, you could have recorded a Thank You video. ######


Prompt:
As basic as possible, nearly 3 years ago my daughter asked if I could help her with the deposit for the house she wanted to buy with her husband. It was expensive so I vocalized that I could only help if it were going to be a loan she'd have to pay back. She then opted not to buy that specific house and found another house which was suitable and could be covered by her husband's savings. That was that.

My son graduated from university last year and has been working ever since but recently he's been offered a higher position in another city. Coincidentally I actually own a house there (it was my best friend's old house which he gave to me) which I used to rent out but it's been gathering cobwebs since February. I told him about the problems with it and said he could have it though if he wanted and he took it. When I told my daughter about it she was unhappy and compared it to her wanting my help those years ago and I said no yet I'm giving my son the house cost free. The house was never bought by me though and was given (rather tossed) besides it being half way across the country. If my daughter got a job there, I would've also offered her the house free of charge. Aita? ######

Response: YTA - in both situations you had the resources to help out your kid (you obviously had the money to help your daughter or you wouldn't have been able to loan it to her), but you asked your daughter to pay you back for your help, but gave the house to your son without asking to be paid for it. ######


Prompt:
Alright. I'm getting married in May 2021 to my husband. We're already legally married but haven't had a ceremony due to Covid. We decided that we want a small wedding ceremony in May. It is going to be a potluck style wedding. Everyone brings food and we all enjoy each other's company. I don't want gifts or money. Just food.

This is the argument that my husband and I are having. I've recently been diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Lots of food causes me to have a flare up. This results in stomach pains and toilet issues. The biggest offenders are gluten and dairy. I want to ask everyone that brings food to please make it gluten and dairy free.

My husband thinks this would make me an asshole since no one else would have an issue with dairy or gluten. And that it's too much to ask of everyone. It would also be rude to ask in his eyes. I don't think so since it's for one day and it is my wedding after all. I just don't want to worry about being in pain after I eat something.

I get that dairy and gluten free alternative are more expensive and harder to find. But this is in exchange of bringing no other gift to our wedding.

So WIBTA if I asked everyone to bring food that I can also eat at my wedding?

Sorry if I made any grammar or spelling mistakes. ######

Response: YTA - if you’re going to ask people to bring food to a wedding you can’t dictate what it is. You bring food you can eat or stop being so cheap and pay for a dinner reception where you can dictate the food. ######


Prompt:
I (42f) have a daughter (19f). She’s a university student, but has moved home because her university closed down and turned to online classes.

English is not our first language, but it’s a compulsory part of our syllabus. My daughter was very good at it, did English as a first language, when most do English as a second language here and got perfect scores on her IELTS.

My son, on the other hand struggles a lot with English. He’s currently doing English as a second language, and he’s failing. Since she’s come home, and isn’t paying rent I asked her to tutor him for a while everyday, and make sure not to leave if he doesn’t finish his homework.

It’s been a few weeks since this arrangement, and she’s angry now. Apparently he doesn’t like to do his homework, and it takes hours to convince him to do it and there’s other things she’d rather be doing.

She says if she sits down with him at 2pm, he’ll take until 8pm to finish it because he plays with his xbox, phone and switch and slowly does the work after she begs him so she can leave. I do insist that she stays until he finishes his homework, but I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

She’s complaining that she doesn’t want to babysit her 13 year old brother for 6 hours a day until he’s ‘bothered to do his homework’. That she wants to call her friends and do her coursework as well. But if she’s going to live with me rent free for who knows how long until her university opens up she’s going to have to contribute somehow. And I think  getting my son to do his homework and tutoring him is contributing enough. ######

Response:
 YTA - if you expect your daughter to help your son with his English, you need to step in and lay down the law

>She says if she sits down with him at 2pm, he’ll take until 8pm to finish it because he plays with his xbox, phone and switch and slowly does the work after she begs him so she can leave.

That is unacceptable. If you were paying a tutor by the hour, you wouldn't allow your son to pull that shit, would you? You're being an asshole by expecting your daughter to be at the whim of her younger brother's work habits.

If you asked her to sit with him for an hour or two a day, set time that ends, I would probably be on your side, that seems like a fair exchange for free rent.  But this open ended bullshit where her younger brother is basically allowed to hold her time hostage? Makes you an asshole. ######


Prompt:
My ex-wife and I have joint custody, and I have my kids **every** single weekend. I also work full time at a fairly stressful job, so this means I never get any me time/vacation time.

The past 2 years, I didn’t take the kids a handful of times, and they stayed with their mother for the weekend. My kids literally don’t care- they know their dad will simply see them next week. And my ex doesn’t get it because she essentially gets EVERY weekend off.

My ex, however, is going crazy and threatening to change the custody agreement. She thinks I should spend all my vacation days with the kids, and never take the weekend off. We just got into a 20 minute argument because I’m visiting my friend for his birthday, and she’s saying I should have used this vacation “to see my kids”.

She is threatening to try and get full custody of the kids. I pay my fair share of child support, and I see my kids 99.9% of the time. Am I the asshole here? ######

Response:
 YTA - If you and your ex were still together, guess what, you would still not be spared from your kids during the weekend after a stressful work week. That's just what it means to be a parent. You make it sound like seeing your kids on the weekend is a complete chore, so no brownie points there.

Sounds like your ex has 5 out of 7 days while you have 2, so I can understand why she would be angry that she ends up having to take them on for 7 whole days at certain points during that 2 year time frame, especially when those mere 2 days might be when she plans to do other things. The point of a custody agreement is to work around each others schedules. Just plan your activities when you DON'T have your kids, and while it sucks I'm sure your friend will understand if you can't attend.

Either stick to the custody agreement that YOU agreed to and is most likely on a court order or don't act surprised when you get a nice court order later on starting an entire court case around why she should get full custody. Not trying to be harsh but you can't keep playing around like this, man. ######


Prompt:
So I have been with my fiancé for over 3 years. We have been engaged for one of those years. Our wedding is set for September 6th. My fiancé has been growing a beard ever since like March or so. I haven’t thought anything of it since I’ve seen him with a beard plenty of times before. I’d say since I’ve known him it’s been about 50/50 between him clean shaven and him having a beard. I jokingly brought up his beard and our wedding the other day. I said “you ready to have a clean face for our wedding?” He looked at me and was silent for a few seconds. He finally said “Um I was going to leave my beard for the wedding” I gave him a pretty gross look and said “no you are not. That is not acceptable. I will not have that.” He got mad that I was telling him what to do and said that I can’t tell him what to do with his grooming preferences. I said that I have the right to since it is my wedding and I am marrying him.

We kept going back and forth about it until I said that I would cancel our wedding if he doesn’t shave. He didn’t budge. He ended up getting really mad by that comment and left shortly after. He’s barely texted me since that happened. I’ve told my friends and family about the situation and part of them agree with me while some say that I had no right to tell him to do that and that I was being a jerk for doing so. Just to clarify, I don’t hate his beard, it’s fine. I think at times that it can’t be attractive. I just don’t really like the idea of him not being clean shaven on our wedding day. I feel as though the pictures will not be as classy and nice.

So reddit, am I the asshole in this situation? ######

Response: YTA - if thats enough to call it off, he shouldnt be marrying you anyway. ######


Prompt:
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So, I (45 F) am getting married to my boyfriend (47 M). He has three kids, two adopted daughters(25 F, 17 F), and a biological son, (24 M), I love my step kids a lot but there's one problem. His youngest is bisexual and has a girlfriend, I don't have any problem with that! But most of my family is homophobic and my boyfriend wants to invite his kids' significant other since they're 'family'.

I had a talk about it and He was mad at me for thinking that his youngest's girlfriend shouldn't come because of my family. I tried my best to explain but he was really stubborn, refusing to not invite her. I got mad at him too and now we won't talk to each other.

Of course, I love my step-daughter and her girlfriend is really nice but I'm scared about my family causing a ruckus because of it. ######

Response: YTA - if anyone shouldn’t be going it’s the homophobes. ######


Prompt:
My dad and his partner are both in their 40s and they told me and my brother that they are pregnant. Honestly, I’m not too surprised, as they have sex all the time, super audibly, but still...like I thought they were too old for this. They said that they were keeping the baby and just weren’t sure whether they’d raise the kid or give it up for adoption. They asked for our input.

I replied, “How the hell should I know???? I’m not raising the baby! Why does my input even matter if I’m 3 years away from being out of this house?” I really don’t care either way as long as if I don’t really have to engage with the kid or care for him or her. Honestly, I replied that way out of sheer horror, to an extent. My dad has had tons of partners but none of them have ever gotten pregnant or accused him of being the father. This is all so horrifying.

Unfortunately, my dad then chewed me out for not caring about my half-sibling, and I was like “Lol well you two are the ones who want to give the kid up for adoption…” so like, I don’t even know what to say. He got even more pissed after that comment, so AITA? I hope this is a fucked up joke honestly. ######

Response:
 YTA - I’ve read enough of your commentary here to say you’re 100% a dick. And I assume you’re like 16 years old or something too.

Grow up, kid. Life doesn’t revolve around you and your shitty attitude. ######


Prompt:
My(51f) daughter (25) says she is trans male, which means I guess she uses he/him pronouns in public and uses a different name, but doesn't say anything when I or her father call her by her birth name. Anyway, recently she got top surgery which is when she gets her breasts removed, and her boyfriend (27) has been taking care of her. It's been about 2 months since the last time I saw her in person because of covid, and also because last time we got in a huge argument because I told her she should have talked to her father and I about serious cosmetic surgery like that. We try to talk on the phone and text at least once a week, but lately she's been pretty quiet about her life and won't tell us anything that's going on. My husband and I were over to drop off some food as her boyfriend is taking care of her basically around the clock and neither of them can go anywhere right now. When we got there, we saw our daughter laying on the couch without a shirt and we immediately covered our eyes and I started scolding her about not wearing a shirt when her father and I come over, while she yelled back that she "paid a shit ton of money to not have to wear a shirt" (her exact words). We just dropped the groceries by the front door and walked out, and then texted my daughter about how disrespectful that was and how she should always be wearing a shirt even if she got some stupid surgery. My husband said we should let it go, but if she's not going to wear a shirt when her parents come over, then she might embarrass herself by not wearing a shirt in public and showing off those ugly scars she now has from her cosmetic top surgery.

Tldr:; daughter got top surgery, wouldn't put on a shirt after we came over to drop off groceries ######

Response: YTA - I’m guessing why HE didn’t tell you about the surgery is because you and your husband aren’t truly supportive considering you don’t even try to make an attempt to use he/him pronouns and still call HIM HIS birth name. That alone makes you the asshole in this situation. ######


Prompt:
My 12yo son has been begging me to buy him a hoverboard. He wants one in particular - a Gyroor with lights and speakers - that happens to cost $450. It's not a lot to me, but I am not that kind of parent. He's asked what he could do to earn money and quite honestly there is no labor that I need from him that's worth $450. He asked me to "just" buy it for him and I said no parent "just" buys their kid a hoverboard and most people would agree. He said he didn't believe me and I said if he could prove that 10K people believed that he should get one, then I would buy one.

Well he posted a picture of himself holding a sign "my dad says i can get a hoverboard if 10000 people think so" on his little Instagram account and a couple of family members shared it as a joke. A week later, he got over 10K likes. Now he wants the hoverboard and people think I should honor what was obviously a joke. I don't. ######

Response:
 YTA - I would have totally agreed with you if you had just left it at NO. But

>I said if he could prove that 10K people believed that he should get one, then I would buy one

>A week later, he got over 10K likes.

The time to claim this was a joke was immediately, not after he hit the goal. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is currently a senior in high school and for as long as i can remember she has wanted to be a musician. My MIL went to Julliard and made it big in the industry. I don't want to give any details because I think some people might recognize her name, and it is hard to teach my daughter that  just because her grandmother did it and succeeded does not mean it is a attainable goal. Also and i would never say this to my daughter, she just isn't as talented as her grandmother. I would be all for something more reasonable like a music teacher, but she wants to do just what MIL does, and MIL always tells her that taking risk is good and everyone told her to just go to nursing school like her sister, but look at her now.

Today i sat my daughter down for a very honest talk about what is going to happen if she doesn't get into Julliard (I know she isn't and MIL has confirmed in private that she really doesn't have enough to stand out and get into a school like that) She got defensive and thought that i was just trying to keep her from being like MIL because of my personal issues with MIL, so i told her the truth. It is almost impossible to succeed, so many people have talent, but MIL had two things beyond talents, she is nasty and vicious and doesn't care who she was willing to sleep with any man who can help her career.  My daughter isn't like that, thank god, but i told her that nice people don't make it that far and the industry is full of people like MIL.

I guess my daughter told MIL because i got an irate message from her saying that i called her a prostitute and that she loves her husband. My husband thinks that I went too far though he agrees our daughter is making a mistake. ######

Response: YTA - I was on your side for a minute - realism is important and having a backup plan is healthy. However, you say you have persona issues with MIL and then go on to say some nasty things about her, making me not sure if you’re giving all info. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been sitting on this for a while, I haven’t yet told my husband and don’t really want to in respect for my daughters privacy. However I do need some help.

Two weeks ago I asked my daughter if I could use her phone, as my internet was sketchy. She obliged and handed it to me. She obviously had forgotten what she’d left up, as when I went on the internet, it was left on a fetish website (fetlife).

I was honestly shocked and in my shock I’m ashamed to say I snooped through her profile. Not only has she posted inappropriate photos of herself, there’s also hundreds of messages from men, mainly older, either asking her to meet or wanting to talk about fantasies.

Not comfortable to look through the messages about her fantasy’s, I couldn’t help but see messages where she’d already arranged and met up with men. All different ages. The oldest one was 54!!! I’m shocked, she was always well behaved and quite introverted, so I’m still reeling from the discovery.

I know my daughter is an adult but is there a way for me to sit her down and talk about her behaviour without me coming across as an asshole. I know I invaded her privacy but I’m now very worried about her.

She lives at home but her father and I don’t control her life, she’s free to go where and when she wants. Having said that I only asked in return she lets me know where she is. If she wants to spend a week at her friends, that’s absolutely fine. I just like to know she’s okay. But with her keeping this from me and lying about her whereabouts, she’s meeting strange men from the internet for sex. This whole thing is sketchy and as much as she is an independent young women, I feel she needs guidance with this. ######

Response:
 YTA - I say this gently because it’s obvious that you genuinely care about your daughter. That being said, it’s not your fault that you saw what had been left open on her phone, but it is your fault that you continued to dig deeper. As you said, she’s an adult. And as an adult she has the right to keep her private life, well, private.

You shouldn’t bring it up to her as all that’ll do is cause her embarrassment and distrust towards you. It isn’t going to stop anything that she’s doing. If this was your teenage daughter that’d be a bit different, but as she’s full grown, you don’t really get a say in this.

I think the best you can do is just to remind her before she leaves that you love her, and that you’d really appreciate a phone call just to let you know she’s safe, since she know’s how you worry. ######


Prompt:
I (m35) have a 16 year old daughter. I’ve been a single father since she was about 3 years old as I got sole legal custody due to some addiction issues her mother has. We have a really good relationship, but I always worry about her not having a woman to talk to.

Over the past few months she hasn’t really seemed to be herself, I know she went through a bad break up but I’ve been worried it’s more than that. I’ve tried talking to her, and my sister only lives down the street so she’s tried talking to her also, but my daughter is really keeping to herself and it concerns me.

She went out to see her friends for the first time since quarantine started yesterday and asked me if I could give her room a quick tidy whilst she was gone. I agreed because she does a lot of chores but she’s not good at cleaning her room. Whilst I was putting clothes back in her closet, I stumbled upon what I now know to be her diary.

I shouldn’t have read past the first page but I just wanted to know if there was anything going on she wasn’t telling me about. There were some pretty heartbreaking stuff for a father to read about how down she felt about herself, so when she got home I brought it up to her.

She asked me why this was suddenly coming up and when I told her I’d read her diary she absolutely flipped and told me it was an absolute violation of privacy and she’s completely humiliated. I told her I was just trying to protect her and she said it was none of my business and locked herself in her bedroom and hasn’t spoken to me since. AITA? ######

Response: YTA - huge violation of her privacy and trust. When my mom did this to me i burned my diaries and stopped journaling entirely which was horrible for my mental health. Its taken me 2 decades and a move across the entirety of canada to get to a point where journalling feels fulfilling and not like a bomb waiting to go off. If you want to know whats up with your kid: talk to her. If you still dont get the info you want, work on the relationship. End of discussion. Reading private writing is never acceptable and I'd bet you have a lot of work ahead of you to rebuild this relationship. ######


Prompt:
Cast: Me - Assistant manger of a restaurant

Ray (37) - Store manager, kind of creepy

Kelly(18)-  Fresh out of high school hostess, very shy, scatter brain

Joe - District manager

Ray has had a history with female workers. nothing that has gotten him in any trouble or had anybody quit, just remarks on appearances, flashes them smiles, ect. It's creepy but everyone has let it slide.

than we hire Kelly, who is a very, very shy girl but very nice. Ray develops something for her and wouldn't stop persisting. she's made up a lot of excuses to let him down easy (not wanting to date, focus on school, being his employee) but he kept it up and up. she confined in me it was making her uncomfortable. she did go to HR but only Joe stopped by and saw nothing questionable at that time.

I noticed after that kelly's feelings shifted. she wasn't really flirty but more open to ray's advance. I pull her aside and ask her what the hell was up, she explains since HR wasn't helping and she knew ray would slash her hours if she didn't go along with it, she was looking for a new job but playing along with things because she needed the money to care for her disabled dad. yeah okay.

Me and the other workers are obviously getting pissed so I finally go to Joe and explain there's something going on between ray and kelly and one of them needed to go. they decide to transfer kelly to another store 40ish minutes away. she had a breakdown, crying how she couldn't do it because of the commute and she needed to stay or else she didn't know how to pay for her and dad's living expenses.  she came up to me later, asked me why I manipulated the story like that (I don't see how) and now everyone thinks she's a slut and no one helped her at all.  Was my handling wrong so much I am an asshole? ######

Response: YTA - HR did nothing for her and you knew that Ray was in the wrong. What made you think it was Kelly's fault in this? She was a victim that ended up being punished. ######


Prompt:
Hey there umm this is my first post but I read a lot of storys and this one came up in my family and decided to post it here

Backstory : so my cousin's family had a dog  that they got two years ago at first they loved him then wanted him to become a security dog so he was locked in a cage most of the he pooped in the peed in it and when he was let out they'd tie him to light post for 20 minutes max and I'd always make passive aggressive remarks about this cause it's animal abuse

Now here so about a week ago something happened to his leg and needed surgery, his surgery was scheduled this Tuesday, but the conditions he was living caused him illness then death

So Reddit WIBTA if I tell my cousin's family their dog's death was their fault cause I don't think they notice it's their fault ######

Response: YTA - how could you let this happen to an innocent and defenseless animal? ######


Prompt: Me and my wife (both 45) have a son(18M) .Recently he came out to us .I was shocked but accepted it .My wife did not and started being distant with him and searching for potential girlfriends for him . I told him to go to his grandparent's house for the time being until i make his mother understand.He left, but not before cursing me for taking my wife's side over him. I don't want to lose both of them that is why i made this compromise .AITA for asking my son to leave the house ? ######

Response: YTA - He shouldn't have to move out because your wife can't handle his sexuality. He's not the one who should have to compromise. ######


Prompt:
My daughter needed a hair cut so we went to the salon. The hairdresser had bright pink hair and her whole entire ear pierced. My daughter was very fascinated by this. She mentioned that she would like pink hair and was going on how she would also like many earrings one day too.

My daughter was adamant she wanted pink hair. Initially I was a little unsure but then figured it will grow out anyway and was not permanent. My daughter has a dark blonde to light brown coloured hair and we agreed not to use bleach. I was expecting the colour we chose to be a soft subtle pink without bleach but it did come out extremely intense and bright.

My daughter was very proud of her new hair. The salon also did ear piercing and my daughter noticed this and asked if she could get her ears pierced again. She was wanting a row of earrings like the hairdresser which was of course too much but after some discussion we agreed she could choose 2 pairs of earrings. I was expecting my daughter would 2 more added to each lobe (she already had 1 in each) but she wanted them all on one side. The issue I had was that the 4th and 5th hole would be in her cartilage as she could only fit 3 in her lobe. I raised this with the hairdresser but she said it would be o.k. We ended up leaving the salon with my daughter looking a little punkish with bright pink hair and 5 earrings in her left ear.

When we got home my husband was a little freaked out by my daughters new look. He was angry with me as he thought she was too young. He was also worried about what her grandparents and other parents would think. I told him to relax as it made our daughter happy but he seems to think that I went too far. AITA here? ######

Response: YTA - hair dyeing is not a huge deal, but you should have put research into the piercings, especially those on cartilage. For example, cartilage piercings shouldn’t be done with a gun. Putting that on hold for safety measures and letting your daughter know this wouldn’t have been disregarding her happiness. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been with my boyfriend for six years and we have two kids. I’ve always had the impression his mom didn’t like me but she’s never said anything. His mom was wealthy on her own and probably made on the higher end of six figures. She’s been with her fiancé for about a year and a half and I think he might be a millionaire. He bought her a Birkin for her birthday and I’ve heard that those can cost tens of thousands and when the pandemic got bad he somehow got them to his vacation house on a helicopter even though the area was supposed to be closed off. Honestly it kind of grossed me out how someone can have so much money when so many people are struggling.

He proposed while they were in quarantine and I only know what the ring cost because he asked my boyfriends sister to help him pick it out and she couldn’t believe the price and she kind of has a big mouth. This ring cost more than most people make in a couple years. I literally can’t get over the fact that someone would spend that much money on a piece of metal. They’re home and we saw them for the first time in a few months and when we left my boyfriend said I was the only one who didn’t say congratulations. He feels like I’m being an asshole but I don’t see how she can wear that ring and not care that people are struggling and her grandkids are struggling. ######

Response:
 YTA - From a struggling pandemic person here myself:

First, it's not like either one of them bragged about the cost of the ring, you found this out through another person!

Second, it is not your place to decide what they spend their money on. Whether they be well-off from hard work, or even family money... their purchases are their own business and how they choose to spend that wealth should not be dictated by you or anyone else.

Third, to not congratulate someone on a POSITIVE life changing event in the midst of what is probably the worst year we all have had in quite sometime... just downright rude. Maybe this is the reason you get the feeling the mother doesn't like you? ######


Prompt: My son (13) has an anonymous meme account on Instagram with a few k followers. He posts really offensive an in anti semitic memes on it apparently (I haven't look at it personally my wife/ his stepmom told me about it). My wife found it since she went to burrow his tablet  and she saw that Instagram on it. She got really upset over it and yelled at him for it (probably because she is Jewish), but I digress. He tried to soothe her by telling her it was a joke but she would not have it. She got even more mad when I told her to calm down and that it was just a meme page and that it didn't even matter because it was anonymous. She has been bitchy about it all day and we've been fighting since then. AITA? ######

Response: YTA - extremism needs to be checked early and it is fairly obvious that this is deeply troubling to your wife and is targeted (at least in part) at her. You're doubly TA because you haven't looked at the page yet. ######


Prompt:
So I have two teen daughters, 17 and 15, and they kind of hate me. I'm doing my best and the youngest one has been in therapy for her anger, but they are constantly criticizing me. The oldest one is constantly yelling at me for embarrassing her, which I've really tried to scale down. I used to do it semi on purpose, but apparently I'm the only one in the house with a sense of humor so I've attempted to stop. The youngest one is getting very into politics and social justice and will not stop bringing things up when I ask her to. She ends up in clashes with her father and it's to the point where she must be doing it intentionally because she knows how he is going to react.

Well I had two friends over the other day for a birthday and we were drinking. My kids don't like when i have fun, though I'm not an alcoholic, alcohol has never been a problem and really I don't know why it bothers them so much. We were out by the pool acting stupid, probably embarrassing the hell out of my kids, but it's a big house and there were plenty of rooms to go into. I fell on the pavement when i was fooling around with my friend and got a cut and when they left I was whining and wanting my husband to fix it (I was drunk, i don't even know what that means) but the 17 year old just started screaming at me about how ridiculous and immature it is, and the younger one said I need less bitchy friends. I refuse to apologize for one day to myself but now my husband is pissed at the girls and my house is once again a war zone. So am I an asshole for refusing to apologize and thinking they should grow up a little. ######

Response:
 YTA - even if it was only what you describe in your post that led up this, (which clearly it’s not since they had issues with you before), how would it hurt you to apologize?

Would you want your daughters behaving the way that you behaved? You could’ve said “sorry, too much alcohol. Take this, and learn from my mistake.” It’s one thing when you’re college- aged, but you have two teenage daughters looking up to you. Grow up & just have a conversation about it. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account for obvious reasons

My friend, let's call her Ellie, is a trans woman (MtF). She came out to me about two months ago and I was very accepting of her, however she was struggling to pick a name.

Recently she messaged me over Discord telling me that she had decided on the name Ellie. Ellie is an extremely common name in my area and there are 2 other Ellie's in my class. I told her that it would be way too confusing if she changed her name to Ellie and she got mad at me, telling me that it's none of my business and that she likes the name.

I told my other friends in my server and they all took Ellie's side, except for one person who said it's stupid for her to expect us to get used to her name so soon and it would be confusing if there were other Ellies in our class too. It eventually resulted in a flame war between him and the rest of my server so I just tuned out.

So Reddit, am I the asshole? ######

Response: YTA - Ellie is an easy name to learn, it's ok to expect a learning curve as you get used to the name change but it's pretty egregious for you and your friend to demand she pick a different name. She wasn't asking for your permission, she was telling you her new name, deal with it like an adult. ######


Prompt:
This actually happened a long while ago but we recently saw each other again and she was really angry at me and when I asked around, this came up.

So I was in a pretty complicated 'situationship' with this girl, Samantha (fake name). We never dated or were much friends but we regularly hooked up and chilled together in our group. Used protection but she got pregnant nonetheless. She said I was her only sexual partner and I believed her. We ended things pretty awkwardly a few weeks later but agreed to co parent what was going to be our child. Long story short, when she was around 2 months she was in a car accident and the baby didn't survive it. At the time I was overseas visiting my dad and uncles'. I wasn't that attached yet but I was a bit upset about it. Anyways, I guess I only really asked her how she was when she messaged me telkingme about it and that was the last time we spoke. That trip also kind of progressed into a move and job at my uncle's place and I only recently came back to visit my mother when I saw Sam again. So yeah, apparently I was an asshole for not comforting her or caring enough to ask how she was and just leaving her. We'd already 'broken up' at that point so i don't think I was that much of an asshole. AITA? ######

Response: YTA - dude she was just your ex gf, preggo with your kid and involved in a car accident and you didn't check to see how she was because you were overseas and broken up? ######


Prompt:
Bf and I are planning our wedding. One thing we thankfully share in common is our distaste of jewellery. It makes us cringe whenever we're around metal accessories hanging on someone's body. Whenever I hug someone wearing a necklace I hate feeling the metal on me.

So my bf and I NEVER wear jewellery. The only exception is our wedding rings, which we are actually considering against.

So we basically want to make our wedding jewellery-free. The only exception is rings, and that is allowed only on married guests. Any other jewellery such as bracelets and necklaces is not allowed. Only one stud ear piercing on each ear is allowed; no other visible piercings are allowed. ######

Response:
 YTA - don't like jewelry? Don't wear it.

Want to exercise oddly specific control over people who are coming out to celebrate you? Asshole move. ######


Prompt: Hi so I need to explain some stuff first... basically my (14f) little sister (6) and her friend (4-5?) play with stray cats in the neighborhood that they've named and made up stories about. They say the two "main" cats (one who's meant to be a cat engineer and the other one who's a cat doctor, so like our parents minus the cat part) are married to each other. Well both of these cats have very visible male parts so when my sister told me a story about their day I asked her this: "don't you know they're both boy cats?" and first off she said they aren't, then I kinda explained to her they have parts boys have (she knows those basics) and she started crying and saying I'm mean to her and making up lies. She told our parents and they were furious with me for provoking my sister (I didn't want to provoke her I just thought it was funny) and they said I'm the older one and I'm supposed to support my sister not put down her creativity. So AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA - Do you go to the mall at Christmas and scream “that’s not the real Santa?”

Because that’s what you did. ######


Prompt:
For context, I’ve been close friends with this person for 7 or 8 years. I’m not going to give his real name for anonymity’s sake, but I’ve been calling him an abbreviated version of his first name, the equivalent of calling someone Mark instead of Marcus or Nate instead of Nathan, for most of our friendship, like many of our other friends including some of his relatives. In the past few months, he’s suddenly started correcting me every time I use the abbreviated form of his name. It’ll go something like this... Me: “Hey Mark, do you want to drive tonight or should I?” Him: “It’s *Marcus* and yeah I’ll drive.”

Obviously it’s not a huge deal for me to just call him by his full name, but it’s a hard habit to break and I don’t understand his reasoning. The abbreviated form of his name has no negative connotations as far as I know, and it’s a widely accepted and very normal name.

To me, calling someone a by an abbreviated name or nickname (unless it’s a derogatory or belittling one) is a sign of familiarity — almost a term of endearment — showing the closeness of a relationship or friendship. So when he asks me to use his full name, it feels needlessly formal, like he’s holding me at arm’s length or trying to craft a more serious persona for himself that must be adhered to by everyone.

I would understand much more if he was making a huge life change, like a trans woman embracing her identity by choosing a more fitting name for herself, but this is nothing like that.

Am I the asshole for being irritated by this?

TLDR: My longtime friend suddenly insists that I call him by his full first name instead of a shortened version and I don’t understand why. (Eg: “Marcus” instead of “Mark”) ######

Response: YTA - calling your friend by the name he prefers will make him feel closer to you even if it feels formal to you. It doesn't matter if you understand his reasons, it's a sign of respect to do as he asks. Yes, it will take you time to get used to it but keep trying. ######


Prompt:
I (25f) was supposed to get married late April. Due to COVID, we decided to postpone. We've been postponing and finally our venue is opening up, but they've said we can only bring 20 guests. We originally had a guest list of over a 100 people, but due to the pandemic a lot of them backed out and said they'd attend over Zoom. We're down to 60 people now. My sister was one of those people. She was 2 months pregnant at the time (now she's 7 months along or almost), and said that she'd attend over zoom. I know she felt very bad, so she bought me my wedding dress as my wedding gift + apology present.

For a while now, BIL and her have been in the process of buying a new house. They finally moved in a month and a half ago. Their house is absolutely gorgeous. It has a pool and a tennis court. I know that she can get her pool covered, and removing the nets from the tennis court would open up a world of possibilities and give us so much space to work with.

She was unhappy when I brought it up. Apparently she didn't want people coming in and out setting up the place, then giving up a spare bedroom or two to me and my bridesmaids and having makeup artists come into her house.

I don't get the big deal. She can still stay inside and watch the ceremony over zoom, or even better- her balcony. I mean, this is the only way that I can get all 60 of my guests to attend, without cutting down more. I don't get why she doesn't want to compromise. She doesn't have to attend in person if she doesn't want to.

She said that she's already bought me my wedding dress, but I'm willing to pay her back for it in monthly payments if it means she'll let me have her wedding at her place. I can't afford the cost of the dress upfront. ######

Response:
 YTA - Before asking about moving the venue to her home, you already knew she was choosing to attend the wedding virtually. She's pregnant, so depending on when your wedding is, she could be close to term or have a new infant. It sounds like she wants to be precautions given everything going on in the world right now.

You're asking her to open her home for a large gathering during the middle of a pandemic. I think her buying your wedding dress was a really nice gift. I'm sure she feels bad that she won't be physically present for your big day. She has the full right to create a boundary for what she feels is safe for her and her family. It sounds like you're trying to pressure her to change her mind. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend informed me the other day that she was going on a trip with the people mentioned above. She said she was taking our son with her and didn’t mention inviting me, hence the title “girls weekend.” I said, word for word, in a smart-ass tone “take pictures of my son when he first sees the ocean.” I told her I wanted to keep our son with me at home and I have never kept him more than 8 hours while she’s at work. Covid is part of my concern.

Backstory: I have been a constant source of stress for my girlfriend. A 12 year drug problem of which 6 years I’ve been with her. I’ve just recently quit the drugs this year and have replaced it with smoking weed and when I’m out of weed I drink. We argue when I drink bc she doesn’t like that either and says I’m a “mean drunk.” ######

Response: YTA - Based on your description of yourself, would you want your child left with someone like you for an entire weekend?  I wouldn't trust you with a houseplant, tbh, let alone a child. ######


Prompt: I 20(f) have decided to live child free. I used to be really Close I’m older sister but once she had kids I cut back on the time we spent together. At one point I made it truly clear I can’t be around kids at all. My sisters husband is rich like really rich. So because of the pandemic he decided to rent a yacht for two weeks. Now the whole family is going  he’s even allowing so family to bring a friend or two. So I call my sister to see what weeks it is so I can make sure I off for those days. My sister told me that she didn’t invite me because she was sure I would decline like all the other times. I been invited to theme parks but didn’t go because of the kids. I called my mom and dad and they both sided with my sister. The only people on my side is my friends. So am I aita for regretting telling my sister I can’t be around her kids? ######

Response: YTA - As soon as they do something you actually feel like you can be bothered to put up with your nieces/nephews you're suddenly offended by them respecting the rules you set for yourself. Stop being so entitled. ######


Prompt:
Okay so this title  makes it sound really bad but it’s not as cut and dry as it seems.

I’m (21m) a senior in college but am doing a five year program. I have two roommates in an off-campus apartment, two dudes that I’ve been friends with for years.  They’re both graduating in May, only staying for four years. People start looking at off-campus housing at my school for next year in September or October of the current year (insane, I know), so I have to start looking now if I’m going to find something live-able/not super expensive. I’m open to living on my own, but would prefer not to.

Don’t know where else to put this in the story, but I’m gay and have openly been for two years.

So one of my roommates “John” told me that he has a friend of a friend looking for housing next year that I should talk to about living with. He says he’s met the guy a few times and he seems normal. I ask him what he knows, and John brings up that he’s gay. That’s when I said no, I’m not interested.

I have no interest in living with another gay guy. I just don’t want to live with someone that there is ever any shot of anything sexual happening with, which is why I’ve only lived with straight men. Before I get shit on for this, how many women only have woman roommates and how many men only have male roommates?  Plus in sophomore year I lived in the dorms with another gay guy, we hooked up while living together, and it was a whole thing.

Well, it turns out John already mentioned me to the guy before having this conversation, and now he had to tell him I wasn’t into it. He also apparently had to tell him why for whatever reason. Apparently the guy now thinks I’m a “self-hating gay,” which I find offensive and ridiculous. I admit that I don’t have a lot of gay people in my platonic circle, but I do date pretty often.

So AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA - As a woman who has had male roommates (straight and gay) YTA.

The reason women don't want male roommates is because they fear being victimized by them, not because they fear becoming sexually attracted to them.

Heck, I am bisexual,  by that logic I would have to screen every one of my roommates for sexual orientation to make sure they could not be into me. Gay men and straight women only! Needless to say I did not do that. I have also never had sex with a roommate. Heck, my last roommate prior to moving in with my partner was a lesbian and we were both single when we met - we had zero interest in each other because we weren't the other's type.

You are an adult, you should be able to keep it in your pants. If you are fine having straight male roommates you should be fine with a gay roommate. You can recognize that there isn't a shot of anything sexual happening because your roommates are straight. Why can't you recognize that there isn't a shot of anything sexual happening because you are roommates with this guy and have a policy of not fucking roommates?

You are an adult who should have full control over your basest impulses.

Further, this is also implying that the prospective roommate would be into you and vice versa. As a member of the LGBT community you should very well know that we aren't attracted to every person of the gender we are attracted to. ######


Prompt:
My MIL is married to a man who was born in Iran and they go once or twice a year to see his family. They have a daughter who turned 13 the other day and MIL wished her a happy birthday on social media. She included a couple of pictures and in one of the pictures, MIL and her daughter were both wearing head coverings. That bothered me, SIL absolutely has the right to wear one, but MIL is white and i felt like she was using it as a fashion statement, and kind of showing off.

I sent her a private message that i felt like she was appropriating her husband and daughter's culture, and this was her reply: "Their culture? You mean the culture of not wanting to go to jail, because it is illegal in Iran for a woman not to have her hair covered? Yeah, i suck for not wanting to get arrested, and my husband is Jewish dumbass, so that isn't even his culture. Fucking unbelievable"

Ok, i looked into it and she is right, she was following a law, and it is a religious thing, not just an Iranian thing. My husband says i should apologize, which i find ironic because he doesn't even like his mother. I said i would only apologize for my mistake if she apologized for how incredibly rude and condescending her reply was. ######

Response: YTA - Apologize for your mistake. PERIOD. That’s how apologies work. ######


Prompt: I (17f) and my friend/on & off boyfriend (18m) are both huge pranksters and we usually pull stupid pranks on one another. I am white and he’s Native American. He’s got long hair down his back. The other day I was spending the night at his house and thought it would be funny if I tied his hair around those metal bars on his bed frame. I kept shaking him roughly to wake him up and it took me like 20 seconds. He started trying to  get up and began dreaming out. I told him what I did with his hair & at first he laughed then asked me to untie it. So I tried but I couldn’t get his hair loose. I didn’t know what to do so I woke his mom up and asked her if she could help. She couldn’t get it either. My friend started crying when his mom came back in the room with scissors. She had to cut his hair & its now neck length. They were both severely devastated and I didn’t see the big deal because it was just hair. He forced me to drive home at like 2 am. It’s been a couple of days and he still hasn’t spoken to me. He told me his hair was a huge part of his culture & I told him I don’t understand what I did wrong because it was just a prank that went bad on accident. I was just being a kid. That’s what kids we do, we do stupid shit. I didn’t mean for it to go wrong nor was it my fault that his hair go super tangled due to his continuous tugging and pulling. ######

Response:
 YTA - all you had to do was apologize and show contrition

Instead you belittled his culture, repeatedly offered excuses and tried to shift the blame on to him ######


Prompt:
I (19F) have been in lockdown at home ever since my university sent everyone home. A lot of my followers were interested in what i was up to so i started documenting my life in lockdown with videos.

Before corona I landed a big internship with a big company. People wanted to know how that was going so i started recording my meetings and one-to-ones and posting them on my site along with updates on what i've been working on.

One of the videos got really popular and my boss found it. He says I betrayed his trust and I shouldn't come to meetings next week until the issue is sorted out.

AITA for making videos of my own life? ######

Response:
 YTA -

Let me translate this for you. When your boss says "you should not attend company meetings until we figure this out," he is really saying "We are stalling while we prepare your termination documents and working with our lawyers to determine if legal action is necessary."

Did you sign an NDA before starting your internship? ######


Prompt: I took a trip and brought a game (an old-school RPG called Lunar if anyone's wondering) I've been wanting to play.  The airplane was loud so I figured I'll play it with the sound on and without headphones.  After a few minutes, the person next to me who was working on a laptop gave me a dirty look and asked me passive aggressively if I could turn the sound down.  I did turn the sound down because maybe I broke some etiquette rule since I'm not a frequent flier like it looked like they were, but I have been wondering if they were the asshole or if I was. ######

Response:
 YTA -

>I think I might be the asshole because maybe I broke some etiquette rule since I'm not a frequent flier l

This has nothing to do with flying etiquette, you would have been the asshole pulling this shit in any public space where people are in close quarters. ######


Prompt:
My parents are very wealthy and I grew up spoiled and completely unprepared for life. When I met my wife she has a lot of issues with my family and especially my mom. My mom has been diagnosed with a personality disorder but very few people know that. My mom was very clear that we were not allowed to tell our significant others. I decided my wife should know because it explained why my mom was the way she was but also so my wife could have all the facts before agreeing to have kids. There is literally no hope for my mom because too many people enable her but I wanted to be honest with my wife.

My mom hung up on me when she found out and sent someone to repossess the car she had given me, took back her offer to get us a house for a wedding gift, and said we would never see another penny from her. She didn’t even buy us a cheap wedding gift or a card. My mom still wants a relationship though my dad wanted her to cut me off completely and he hardly speaks to me these days.

I’m still close to my family but the financial discrepancy is huge. My mom pays for my nieces and nephews to go to private school, takes them on lavish trips, is fully funding their college, and plans to buy them car when they turn 16.

My son is 10 and definitely notices that his cousins have more. So far he doesn’t know that my parents pay for so much of it but I think in a couple years he will figure it won’t. WIBTA if I asked them to treat my son equally. ######

Response:
 YTA -

"Listen, mom, I only told wife you have BPD in case she wanted to make sure people like you are eliminated from the gene pool. No offense but you've always been awful and your mental defect explains everything, just get over it. Now can you please send me $15K for Junior's tuition and resume payments for my car? Love you!"

You do have one thing right, you certainly are unprepared for real life. ######


Prompt:
My daughter and her husband (34 and 33 respectively) just went through a second failed IVF cycle.

At the realization that they failed yet again to become parents, her husband was devastated. They live in New York but he said he’s going to extend his business trip in South Beach and stay with a friend for a few weeks to catch up.

My daughter is asking me for money to get counseling. She recently lost her corporate job and her husband refuses to pay for counseling or go. The only available therapist that specializes in infertility counseling in her area is apparently out of network.

My daughter tells me that she doesn’t know when she can pay me back because her husband controls most of the finances.

And to be honest, I wasn’t sympathetic to her cause because when she was 21, she was pregnant and even her boyfriend at the time was a great man (unlike what we all think of her current husband) and intended raise the baby with her, she said that she didn’t want to “do this” with a 36 year old and aborted it.

All signs at the time pointed to a healthy pregnancy and we were all mentally prepared to help her through it and babysit it, and what she did upset a lot of people.

I do feel like she threw away the chance to be a mother because of her need for everything to line up and be perfect.

So I told her that I was really reluctant to spend a bunch of money to comfort her and assuage her feelings when she’s apparently forgotten that she had a healthy pregnancy but didn’t appreciate her expected child at that time.

And for that reason I don’t really want to give her the money and will not. AITA? I just don’t think there’s much more to accept than the fact that she had a chance before and she opted out of it, and because of that she has to accept she may never be a parent and move on from it, just like her father and I have had to, with no sympathy from her. ######

Response:
 YTA  I hope this is fake because if not then you're a horrible mother. You actually wanted your young daughter to have a child with a man fifteen years her senior?? I'm not surprised that you think he was a great man though.

You don't have to pay anything for your daughter, but I hope that she does get some counseling and cut all the toxic people out of her life. ######


Prompt: My friend showed me her new website selling her art services, and as someone who doesn't know much about art I got curious. I saw that one of her pre-drawn artworks has a 1,200 dollar price tag which i thought was insane. And she also does animation and once did a commission for $3,000 for 60 seconds of animation which is insane. So I casually remarked that it's extremely expensive for an artwork and she got mad and said that I obviously know jack about art. A bit of an overreaction? ######

Response: YTA  for devaluing her work, her technical skills and her time. A lot of artists get this reaction all the time from ignorant amateurs and even from clients (!!!) and it is exhausting. FYI, 60 seconds of animation could easily represent 60 to 160 hours of work, it is ridiculously time intensive and requires a lot of skill. ######


Prompt:
So long story short my ex and I were living together and we broke up. She hadn't moved all her stuff out, including furniture, kitchen appliances, etc. We had a very sudden and explosive breakup and she packed up her clothes, makeup, and other essentials and moved in with her brother. So her brother called me and asked me if he and my ex could come to move out all her stuff. It had been a while since we broke up because she didn't have a place for her furniture because it took a while to find housing because of the pandemic. Problem is, I had already thrown out a few small things like a coffee maker, some souvenirs from her study abroad trip, her vacuum, etc. I was like okay whatever.  Her brother asked me if they could do it while I wasn't there because she really didn't want to see me and he couldn't do it alone because he didn't know what was hers and what was mine. I said that was fine and trusted them to be honest and left my house. She still had a key. So they move all the stuff out and I find a key on the table.

That evening I'm trying to relax and I find that my N64 is gone! I am furious and I call her brother who doesn't answer the phone and has my number blocked. She and I went halvsies on the N64 and she had bought some of the games for me for my birthday. I was so mad when I discovered it was gone and that they stole it and even worse intentionally cut off all means of communications with me so I couldn't respond to them. So I call the police and tell them that there was a home robbery and I need them to get my stuff back. The cop tells me there is nothing they can do and not call back. My friend tells my I'm an asshole because my ex is black and calling the police on them could have been fatal. So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

You had already thrown away a bunch of her stuff, her vacuum, coffee-maker and mementos - surely those are worth at least 50% of a N64? I'd call it even and be done with it. ######


Prompt: I have HSV-1, the virus that typically causes cold sores in over 50% of the population. I sometimes also get it down there, but it’s the same virus. I went on a date with a guy I met on bumble last night. One thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. Yes we used protection. I wasn’t having an outbreak, so chances of passing it to him were slim to none. Usually I tell people I have herpes before sleeping with them, and they usually don’t care. I don’t know why I didn’t say anything this time around, I was feeling embarrassed about it. So am I the asshole for sleeping with him without telling him? ######

Response:
 YTA

I didn't even need to read. You always share with your partner if they have a chance to get a STD just for sleeping with you. Doesn't matter how slim the chances are. ######


Prompt:
I dated "Alex" for six years. I loved him very much and still do. He wanted to get married, but I didn't think we would be compatible as husband and wife. He was my first serious boyfriend and I was his first serious girlfriend. I didn't want to marry him and then have doubts years later. There were warning signs towards the end like he wanted to live in the city and I wanted to live away from the city. He loved travelling and I didn't. He wanted five kids of his own and I wanted to adopt.

We broke up and it hurt him a lot. A couple of years later, he started dating "Kayla" who had a major issue with my still being friends with Alex. There was nothing between Alex and I. We are much better as friends than lovers. Plus we hang out with the same social crowd. Kayla became outwardly hostile towards me even though I told her that she is far more compatible with him than I was and I was already in a serious relationship myself.

They ended up getting married and I got an invite. Kayla rescinded the invite saying she didn't want ex-girlfriends at her wedding. I was like whatever. Recently I reconnected with Alex when a mutual friend passed away and she emailed me asking me to stop trying to mess with her marriage. I told her that the only reason why he married her was because I didn't want to marry him and if I wanted him back, then I could.

That shut her up for awhile, but she later called me a "fucking bitch." ######

Response: YTA   this wasn't a rebound marriage they started dating a couple of years later.  You made it sound like if you snapped your fingers he'd ditch her and come running.  I'd have called you a whole lot more names than that. ######