Prompt:
So my ex and I divorced when my kids were 2 and 1. I admit I wasn’t the best dad at first and I went a few months without seeing them which prompted her to take me to court for child support which she she gets from me every month now.

Now my ex keeps the kids and I see them when I can. I work out of town so sometimes I only see them 3 days a month. But i send her money to care for the kids and I asked her if I could have them on Father’s Day since I hadn’t seen them since May 15th. She brought them over and picked them up Father’s Day evening at 6pm.

I guess she had a cook out, dinner and presents for her husband. I mean completely over the top and we are friends on Facebook and she posted pictures of him holding my kids on their Vacation, or my daughter laying on his back with her head laying on top of his and my children snuggled up with him on the couch. There were a few others of him kissing her belly and a video of him crying as she told him they were expecting a boy. She told him that he was doing such a great job helping her raise the kids and that he was the only one she knew who would build treehouses, playhouses, paint a room just to please the kids and watch a Disney Movie every night and she loved how much he already loved his son and that they ALL loved him.

They all love him even my kids... she didn’t even tell me happy Father’s Day when she came over. I texted her and told her she needed to take the post down as I didn’t like the pictures of him with my children and that he isn’t there father that I am and she needs to realize that.

She pretty much told me to f””” off. My mother agrees she needs to take it down. My mother then messaged her and she told my mother “your son and I divorced over religious reasons he thought he was God and I disagreed and I see he still feels the same way” then she blocked her. AITA? Or is my ex? ######

Response: YTA. Holy shit dude. You're barely involved in their life from the sound of it, excuses or not. Their stepfather is clearly a great father to them and that deserves to be celebrated, whether you like it or not. ######


Prompt:
They were best friends before we ever started dating but still. I am her husband and the father of her child. I had a right to find out she was pregnant before my sister, but instead of telling me first once she found out her response was to call my sister. I was an afterthought.

I feel like she robbed me of a special moment which I will never get back, and it has soured my mood on the whole pregnancy. I am finding it hard to get excited about anything because we started off on such a bad note.

I told my wife that I didn't want to go to her first appointment. My sister could go with her instead if she wanted company. My wife didn't like this, but I told her that it's her own fault for getting us started on a bad note.

Maybe I will go to others or maybe not. I have no clue and don't feel involved in any way, so what does it even matter.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Holy crap this level of pettiness is not appropriate for a grown ass married man who is about to be a father for God sake! Grow up before that baby gets here I beg of you. ######


Prompt:
Using a throwaway account since they haven’t publicly came out yet.

Disclaimer: Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against gay people. I support people having their own choices and living their own lives.

Here’s the situation. I (17M) have a friend (M) who agreed to room together in college. At this point he hadn’t come out yet. A few days later he told me that he was gay and that he should let me know. At first I had no problem with it. Of course I was supportive of his bravery and all. But the more I thought about it I began to feel a little uncomfortable. After a lot of thought and consideration I asked him if I could drop out as roommates and find new ones. I lied and gave him a different reason as to why, just so I didn’t hurt his feelings.

Now I’m wondering if I was the asshole for feeling uncomfortable to room with someone who was gay and the same gender as I was, regardless if we were friends before or not. ######

Response: YTA. Him being gay doesn’t change anything. If you were comfortable rooming with him before, it’s not like his coming out means the switch has flipped and he wants in your pants now. ######


Prompt:
I visited my family my sister is living with my parents. She has been restless because she hasn’t been able to meet new guys cause of the situation. She then talks about how guys in their 30s that women actually want all want to date women in their 20s because they can impress them and feel manly. I told her that this is on her, she should have dated guys more seriously when she was younger instead of wasting her time on guys that wouldn’t work out.

My moms and sister both snapped at me. But I don’t know what to say? Like if I was to wait till 30 to apply to university and complain only crappy colleges will accept me people would tell me that’s on you. Why is this any different? ######

Response: YTA. Here's an idea: when someone is talking about an aspect of their life that is difficult for them, you can just say 'damn, that sounds hard, I'm sorry you're feeling that way' instead of shitting on them and telling them their problems are all their fault! ######


Prompt:
So we wanted the internet to settle this debate. I've been staying with my friend Kate for a little while at her beach house. We've been best friends since college, so obviously boundaries have kind of gone to the wayside.  Kate has two daughters who are 18 and 16 and the 18 year old's boyfriend was visiting. His family isn't big on either of us.

We were out on her husband's boat and he was fishing. Kate was laying down on the dock of the boat sunbathing. For context she is afraid of literally everything, so her husband motioned to me that he was going to throw the dead (well I think it was dead, Kate claims it was wiggling when it hit her) fish at her. I untied just the top part of her bikini. Her husband saw me do it and didn't stop me. So he threw the fish, Kate freaked out, and the bikini fell down. The boyfriend did not see this part if it matters.

This is pretty normal dynamic for us, but her daughter got pissed because she thinks that this is why her boyfriend's parents don't like her, and she says her mom is embarrassing. Kate said I'm an asshole because she is fighting with her daughter over this. Her husband thinks I'm funny though. ######

Response: YTA. Her husband thinking you're funny is more important to you than your friend's feelings. Maybe if she thinks you're an asshole for this, the thing about boundaries going to the wayside is more one-sided than you think. ######


Prompt:
My SO wants her ex’s father to walk her down the aisle

Pretty much what the title says. My SO & I got engaged recently & she dropped this on me last night. She dated her ex for 6 years & got really close to the family.

I don’t want her ex’s family that involved in our wedding, but she insists that he’s there.

Her father died while they were dating, so I understand she doesn’t want to walk down the aisle alone, but she’s also close with my father.

AITA for not wanting my SO to walk down the aisle with her ex’s dad?? ######

Response: YTA. Her ex's father is walking her down the aisle to you, not to her ex. You don't get to control who walks her down the aisle. Her dad died while your SO and her ex were dating, so I can see why she may want to have her ex's father walk her down the aisle. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is 14.

She was 12 when we moved countries two years ago. She also started puberty around that time.

Prior to the move she had many friends, took care of herself, though to be fair things were easier beging prepubescent at the time. After the move she made an honest effort to make friends and gained a close group of girlfriends. However about six months in a dramatic incident happened, and left her rejected by them.

Since then it's as if she's regressed to a childlike state. She wears unflattering, neon colored clothes way too big for her, with cartoon characters on them. Her hair looks like a rat's nest. Her hygiene is questionable. She refuses to wear makeup or was her upper lip (quite hairy) or eyebrows.

Worst of all she has completely stopped trying to make friends. She didn't celebrate her last birthday because she said there was no one to invite, no one likes her, but she doesn't even try. She spends all day alone. I know it's not proper, but I think her presentation is part of it. She is at an age where kids are trying to be mature and she's regressing.

I reached my breaking point and we had a row over the upper lip. I told her she would get it taken care of. When she refused I stood my ground, and it ended up turning into a yelling match. She ended up crying and we compromised that she would bleach it.

AITA if I had good intentions? I just want her to have friends again. I have been trying to get to her nicely for months. ######

Response:
 YTA. Her body hair isn’t the issue.

Did you ever stop to think she likes her clothes? Something happened with her friends?

You aren’t asking the right questions. ######


Prompt:
When I was 20  I had a kid with my ex girlfriend.

I was not at all prepared to have a kid and my ex told me that I would either have to step up 100% or to basically fuck off.

I knew I couldn’t be there 100% so I fucked off.

I’m now 40 and recently received communications from my son who is 20 (She named him Nic) and wants to know who his father is.

The thing is, my ex and I have been in contact for the past 2-3 years and she has been giving me some updates on how Nic has been doing and everything. I know that her and his stepfather love him very much and have provided for him and for that I’m very grateful. I never wanted to intrude in their lives and I was happy just knowing that he was loved and cared for.

When Nic messaged me and told me that he recently discovered that I was his father, I told him that I didn’t want to meet him and that his stepdad was more of his dad than I ever was and to just forget about me.

He got upset with me and called me a true asshole and that he just wanted to know who I was. He also mentioned my new family and said that he “feels sorry” for my kids. I told him that it was for the best and that his stepdad was his true dad.

AITA for what I said? I don’t know how to feel about it lately and while I do feel for the kid, I don’t know anything about him and his stepdad raised him. ######

Response: YTA. He’s your biological kid. You may not be his father figure, but you could’ve at least given him the time of day and met with him to explain how you feel. Blowing him off completely and telling him you didn’t want to meet him was a dick move and may have made him feel abandoned/resented. He has every right to want to meet his biological father. ######


Prompt:
So for context, I just graduated with a Bachelors in English Literature with the intention to move abroad to teach English as a second language.

I'm starting off in South Korea because a friend of mine lived there for a few months and said I would love living there. My friend also lives in Singapore, which is where I intend to end up full-time as I love her and I want to be around her more often, she's my best friend.

So, anyway, my brother and I were talking one day and I mentioned that he would need to learn how to cook the meals I make for the family whilst I am gone. He suddenly laments that I get to move away whilst he is stuck at home. I've been studying at home for 6 years and maintaining two jobs whilst he lived away to study and has only been at home for 3 years and only recently found a job.

I suggested he find something that gets him out of the house and then after dinner, he asks me about the company I applied to teach abroad through and I tell him.
The next day he tells me he's planning teaching English in Japan.

I'm furious. Teaching has been a dream of mine since I was a child. I love teaching and even volunteered at multiple schools to make sure it was what I really wanted.

I know he's entitled to do what he wants but I feel so angry that he is basically stealing something I've been dreaming about since I was small.

I dont think he would be a good teacher, he has anger issues and cannot talk clearly. He has no idea what teaching English is going to be like and I am angry that I have spent the last 6 years preparing for my dream life and he has suddenly decided to do the same thing on a whim.

Would I be the asshole if I told him that I dont think its cool that hes decided to copy my dream on a whim? Please be honest because I understand I sound selfish but I have had to put up with being bested by him my whole life and this is the one thing I chose for myself and its not even my own thing anymore. ######

Response: YTA. He's not "stealing" anything. You can still have 100% of what you want. He's not even going to be in the same country. ######


Prompt:
Hi, I know how the title sounds, but here's the story. One of my (23F) close friends (24F) is a fat woman. I think she is absolutely gorgeous inside and out, but she does struggle with obesity and losing weight and very serious self-image problems. She talks about it with our friend group very frequently, and I know her issues with self image have been quite debilitating in terms of her dating life. She's basically never been in a relationship, despite being a perfectly lovely, smart, ambitious, fun person.

Recently though, she met a new guy on a dating app and they really hit it off. They've been going on dates for about two months now and it seems like things are progressing quite well. We couldn't be happier for her because she really deserves it. On Friday, our group of friends went out for some drinks, and she was showing us pictures of him and telling us how she can't wait for us to meet him. That's when I blurted out "he seems great, and he's okay with your weight right?"

The table went dead silent and I realized how rude I sounded. I tried to backpedal and explain that I only brought it up because I know how much she has struggled (she literally talks about it ALL the time) and I wanted to make sure she's with someone who treats her well. She started tearing up and another friend said "dude that's super fucked up" and I tried to say they're kinda overreacting and that we were ALL thinking about it and just wanted to make sure she feels comfy in the relationship.

Anyways, that was Friday, it's now Tuesday, I've made several attempts to reach out to my friend and others in the group and they said they have no interest in talking to me for the foreseeable time. I'm really sad because these are my core best friends, and I am extremely lonely without them. AITA? What can I do? ######

Response:
 YTA. He's been dating her for two months, obviously he's 'okay' with her weight. What you said was shitty and rude and absolutely was not on everyone's mind.

Instead of 'backpedaling', *apologize*. Sincerely and with no justifications. ######


Prompt:
So my Husband(m43) has a very sucessful buiness that he started when he was 18. He was always a very poor kid and grew up in a orphanage. When he was old enough to start working he started saving as much money as he could and by the time he turned 18 he was able to create his company. Now he has over 10 million dollars and has everythimg he ever wanted but never forgets where he started. The problem comes when I was talking to him about selling the company. I asked him if he would be willing to seel the company because it would make him more money. He said firstly no he would never sell the company and secondly its not "our" company its his. I told him that since we are married the company is now both of ours. He told me that thats not how it works and he is the only owner of this company.

The conversation stopped there but my husband has started to question my intentions. He seems to think that I want all the money to myself and hes questioning our marriage. The only thing I want is for our family to have more money so we can be set for life. Our daughter(16) says that Im the Ah and that I sound like a golddigger trying to make him sell his company when we already have everything we would every want or need and then some. My husband never spoiled our daughter and made sure to teach her the value of money and to not just expect everything to be handed to her. He still makes her get a job so she can have"experience" so I thought maybe she would side with me and want more money so she wouldn't need to work but that didn't happen. My family is now agianst me and my husband is considering leaving everything in his will to our daughter because he fears that if he dies I will just take all the money and leave her with nothing. So reddit Aita? I really just wanted my family to have more but all I did was cause problems but is it soley my fault? ######

Response: YTA. He started the company, he built the company up, he runs the company, and it sounds like he didn't add your name to any of the business' paperwork. And why isn't $10 million enough for you? Of course you sound like a gold digger and your family should suspect your motives. Greed is not attractive. ######


Prompt:
My (23M)  best friend (23M) bought a house, i moved in and pay him 'rent' every month to cover part if the bills.

I have been with my girlfriend (21) for 5 years and she has pretty much always lived with me at my mums and didn't pay rent (she does have a full time job) because she wants to save money. When i moved in she was coming over  alot and now she is here almost all of the time.

My mate has asked me to get her to start covering some of the bills like 3 way split since extra is being used with 3 people being here. I said no since I dont see why she should have to since she never paid rent before and i know if i ask her too she will leave and go back to her parents which i dont want.
 Also my mate has a girlfriend who lives here for weeks at a a time when she isn't at Uni and she doesn't have to pay rent so why should my girlfriend?

He has now said if she doesnt start paying some money towards the house then she won't be allowed over more than 2 nights a week.

So reddit AITA? ######

Response: YTA. He owns the place and makes a very reasonable argument. You’re just being petulant about it. ######


Prompt:
My brother's son is 20, and he lives about 30 minutes drive away from our area. My brother and his wife separated about 3 years ago, and he moved out of the country, while my nephew stayed here with his mother and brother. When the breakup happened, all of our side of the family tried not to take sides, as there was infidelity involved - we didn't want to cut off my brother, but we also didn't want to see them stuck.

We(the extended family) helped them find a new house and gave them some furniture and such to get them restarted. Personally I did a lot of driving back and forth to their area as well, dropping off people and bits to help them. Since then, we haven't really seen much of them, but we bump into them from time to time at family functions.

Last year we were at one such function (i can't remember what it was), and they were all there. Since we'd last seen them, our daughter had been born, and the nephew came out with the observation "Oh, I'd forgotten you guys had a baby". It wasn't anything offensive, but I was a little pissed off that he had forgotten the existence of my daughter - we had been there a lot for them in a tough time, and I don't think it was much to at least expect that.

Fast forward to this week - his birthday had been earlier in the week. Since all the kids in the extended family had gotten over the age of 16, we usually just tended to stick £50 in a card and that was usually the end of it. This year for said nephew, I decided not to send him a card, or indeed wish him a happy birthday. The next day I got a call from his mum asking why I hadn't sent a card - to which I replied "oh I forgot it was his birthday". She knew I was lying, and called me an asshole, saying that he was just a young boy. I retaliated, saying that he is old enough to know that he has a new cousin, and that I was offended that she had been completely forgotten.

So, AITA? ######

Response: YTA. He hadn’t even seen you guys since the kid was born. Most of his knowledge of her existence will have stemmed from people telling him a couple of times she existed. His life does not revolve around you. Maybe it was insensitive to say, but he probably said it without thinking. You even acknowledge it was nothing offensive. It is EXTREMELY petty and rude to just ignore someone’s birthday because they forgot about someone who didn’t exist the last time he saw you. ######


Prompt:
It’s as simple as that. We like each other, we support each other, we do things for each other often.  It irked me that he needed me, his wife, to sew a button on his pants because he didn’t know how (that was his explanation about why I should do it.)  It felt demeaning in that ‘because you are a woman and I am a man and this is your job’ kind of way.

So should he have noodled out how to thread a needle and poke it through a buttonhole, or should I have done it ‘just to be nice’?

I didn’t do it. He took the pants to the dry cleaner to have it done. ######

Response: YTA. he doesn’t know how to sew and probably doesn’t want to make it look sloppy - this would have been a good teaching moment, so that he is prepared next time. But nope, you tell him no rather than taking two seconds to show him. ######


Prompt:
My cousin (17m) says after he graduates from high school he wants to be a navy seal. I laughed my ass off when i heard that becuase he's at least 80 pounds overweight and he can't even do a single pull up, nor can he even walk up a flgiht of stairs without getting winded. He is too out of shape to even join the airforce.

As I was laughing he asked why i thought it was funny and i explained to him that there's no way he could join any military branch with how out of shape he is. He says im an asshole and I told him he needs to be realistic as there's no way the world's most elite special forces are going to elt him join if he can't do a single pushup. ######

Response: YTA. He can resolve these things by training. Unfortunately for you, there is no gym for fixing that shitty personality. ######


Prompt:
A long time close friend of mine recently came out to me as gay (important to mention I am also gay), he mentioned that it was probably internalized homophobia that took him this long and that he is still working it out. I felt delighted for him and offered to be there for when he felt like telling other people. He said it would be something he would do imminently, but to keep it to myself for a while.

A couple months pass and he still hasn't told anyone but me. Our friendship is complicated and  I had a crush on him when we were younger (he is aware of this). As I reflected more on him, our relationship and his behaviour, I remembered some of the homophobic things he'd say with other members of our friend group. It was predominantly stuff that would be considered "locker room" talk like "thats gay" or calling me feminine and the more I thought about it the more pissed off I became as he knew what he was saying would hurt me. Its even more fucked up that he is gay too. There was nothing internalized about that past behaviour.

Anyway he recently came up in conversation with a couple friends and I decided to tell them that our mutual friend came out to me. They all reacted really positively and were so happy for him. However, he eventually found out about this and is pissed and has cut me off without an explanation. Am I totally in the wrong here? ######

Response: YTA. He acknowledged his past homophobia. He asked you to keep it in the DL, and *you agreed.* Your outing of him was pure revenge. Not cool. ######


Prompt:
We’re expecting twins in October and have obviously been suggesting names, we could have two girls/two boys (to sum up; we don’t know the genders)

I’ve picked;

Gabriella and Isabella

Caleb and Joshua

Ordinary, decent names that won’t make people take a double take and won’t ruin their chances for a job in the future.

My wife is dead set on these names;

Roman - Xander and Luca - Beau.

Freya and Eliza - Florence.

I don’t even think middle names are necessary but she does, not that anyone ever uses middle names.

But I think the names are ridiculous, would you take a child seriously if they’re called Roman - Xander? No? Me neither! Xander is the name of her uncle so I can kind of get that (it’s not my fault her grandmother used ridiculous names too)

I’ve told her several times to drop the names, we’re not using the names at all, they’re stupid and our children will get mocked over them.

She bought  the names up to her family; her grandmother cried when she found out my wife wants to use the name Xander in memorial of her uncle so I think it was a guilt trip move to make me feel bad, spoiler alert; didn’t work.

I told her and her family that the names are fucking stupid and I will not use them.

My wife is upset with me and we aren’t talking unless it’s about the babies.

My sister thinks I was overly harsh and once my wife sees the babies she’ll realise how ridiculous the names are.

AITA?

(We do have a good relationship until it comes down to the babies names) ######

Response:
 YTA. Having rhyming names for twins sounds more ridiculous than Freya and Eliza!

I'd be embarrassed to have a name almost identical to my sister!

Nevertheless, it's not about the names but the way you behaved which makes YTA ######


Prompt:
So my friends and I were having a kickback in our apartment last Tuesday; these girls from these two sororities were there.

This one girl ended up having an unexpected incident and I guess started leaking blood. A little even got on our floor. We only have one bathroom, so we didn’t want her to make a mess and their sorority house was like 0.2 miles away, so one of my roommates (there’s 4 of us) gave her a clean towel, and some of the other girls helped her get back.

We were stuck having to clean up the blood that had dripped on the floor anyway, so are we the assholes for not wanting to risk as mess? ######

Response:
 YTA. Have you never lived with a woman before?

She'd put on a pad/insert a tampon, wipe everything down, wash her hands and be done in three seconds. Probably would have cleaned the floor for you too, if you hadn't been such assholes.

Also, if someone is leaking blood into the floor, through their clothes, they're bleeding HEAVILY. Not letting them get cleaned up is deeply cruel. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been with my husband for 7 years, his younger brother is 20.

In all the time I’ve known my BIL he’s not shown any interest in women.

His browser history is full of men on men (he gave me his old phone and didn’t wipe it, shouldn’t have snooped)

He gets very awkward around other men and has a weird obsession with Tom Hardy and he’s constantly asking my husband his opinion on an LGBT topic.

To me it’s obvious he’s gay or at least bisexual.

I mentioned it to my husband and I told him he needs to have a one on one with his brother.

My husband and I are in this huge argument and he’s saying that his brother is just emotionally stunted and still discovering himself (my MIL and FIL are very anti sex before marriage etc)

He’s claiming it isn’t my place and that I’m reaching, he’s really upset.

AITA?

**He gave me the phone, it was my phone then, he forgot to wipe it** ######

Response: YTA. Have you ever considered learning to crochet? Cross stitch? Fishing? Stamp collecting? Just trying to help because you desperately need a hobby that isn't snooping and meddling in other people's lives. ######


Prompt:
My husband was not raised by his mother. I don't know many details because she said she doesn't have to justify it to me, but i think she wanted an abortion and was talked out of it. She is very successful in a niche industry and spent his childhood traveling, focusing on her career, and partying. For some reason he has forgiven her, but she doesn't seem very sorry and she still seems to think she was the victim in all of that.

I am currently pregnant and my husband says she has changed and deserves a relationship with her grandchild. I don't think she has ever taken care of a baby before. I bought a baby doll and wanted to test her, but she threw the doll on the floor. MIL started crying and saying we'll never get a penny from her and now my husband is angry and says i am holding emotional issues against her and that she doesn't have to atone the rest of her life. ######

Response:
 YTA. Has she ever done anything to actually prove she can’t look after a baby or would be negligent with yours?

Whether she wanted an abortion or not way back when doesn’t make her less of a parent, so many people weigh up their options when they find out they’re pregnant. Also, lots of people travel for work, and that doesn’t make them less of a parent.

Giving her a doll to “test” her is just wrong, I would have been offended at that as well.

Edit: just wanted to say this is my opinion based on the little information given, i think more info is needed. ######


Prompt:
I’ll make this short and sweet, I’m dating somebody now and I would never cheat on them and I’d hope for / expect them to never cheat on me too.

We got in an argument earlier because I admitted that before I met him, I didn’t see a problem with me being “the other woman” because quite frankly they weren’t my relationships and if somebody expressed interest in me, I felt like it was okay because I’m not cheating on / breaking trust with a partner, I’m just living out a fantasy or kink, along with the man I’m sleeping with who is as well.

My boyfriend’s point of view is that cheating in any form by all parties is wrong and he doesn’t know if he can trust that I won’t cheat on him because I’ve openly admitted to being “the other woman.”

My point of view is that I love him and I would never want to hurt him in that way and it wasn’t my fault that the men in other relationships lied to their partners, and it’s not my fault that they wanted to do those things with me.

I will admit that it can be morally questionable to be a “home wrecker”, but I feel like the blame should be on the person actually in the relationship, not the person who was chosen.

So reddit, AITA for being okay with other people’s cheating? ######

Response: YTA. Funny you wouldn't want it done to you but you have no problem being a catalyst for extreme emotional turmoil in someone else's relationship. ######


Prompt:
Me and my girl have been together for 2 years but only lived with each for 8 months. My first time ever living with someone else and her second. I mean in a relationship status. Me and her sister have of course meet plenty of times and have no issue with each other that I know of. Might change....lol just joking.

Her sister got divorced after a 5 year relationship, and now needs a place to stay. I don't know why she can't just stay in her place. It might be weird but do what you have to do. I didn't hear about the news until 5 days after. My girlfriend throws that she needs a place to stay at me. Their dad is it out the picture and her mom stays with their step Dad. For some reason that didn't seem ideal to them.

Sure we got an extra bedroom in our place.... But this is not what we really got it for. Suppose to be 2 night stays for guest, not months on end stay for someone. Exactly what I told her and that I didn't feel comfortable with it and how we haven't even lived together for a year yet. You know the family excuse came up on why she should stay with us. I was tempted to say her sister should've thought of a scenario like this for she wouldn't have to scramble to find a solution.

Feel like this might be a little dent into our relationship. Some days already I reminisce on me living alone, doing whatever I want. Plus I already get enough unnecessary attitude from my girlfriend don't need more from the same blood line.

Think I was out of line to tell her she shouldn't stay with us? ######

Response:
 YTA. For this alone:
> Plus I already get enough unnecessary attitude from my girlfriend don't need more from the same blood line.

If you don’t like her and want to be alone, why on earth are you living with her? You just need a substitute mommy/sex doll?

It’s tough having unplanned longer term guests, but there are discussions and compromises that can be made in most situations. Sounds like you aren’t even willing to consider any. ######


Prompt:
My daughter (8) spends a lot of time face-timing with her cousins, sisters aged 9 and 11. The sisters are heavy set and my daughter is healthy slim, because my wife and I monitor her diet fairly carefully and don't let her eat too much junk food.

Lately they have been on a kick about being the two of them being "chunky" and her being too skinny. It is something from the movie Madagascar. There is a song where the rapper Will. I. Am. highlights a lot of good womanly traits like smart, funny, bubbly, etc but most of all "chunky." Our daughter has been pestering my wife and I for ice cream and crying that this is why she will never be "chunky" when we refuse. So I decided to tell her that even though there are some boys like the king hippo in the movie who like chunky girls, most boys like skinny girls. Then I used the analogy of the huge super-deluxe box of crayola colored pencils that she has at home vs the standard box she brings to school to explain to her the difference in choices of boys she and her cousin will have when she is older.

Well, last night my sister-in-law really read me the riot act over FaceTime. Apparently my daughter said something to her daughters about how boys will like her better because she is skinnier, so she will get to pick between hundreds of boys and they will only get to pick from a few. I feel like a bit of an ass, as I often do as a dad. But it is ridiculous that my daughter wanted to gain weight and become an unhealthy size because of anti-diet culture making her think that she isn't good enough at a health weight and needs to eat more junk food. Am I wrong here? ######

Response: YTA. For Godsakes, she’s only 8 years old!! Why would you teach her that being slim would equate to getting a man? Where are your priorities?? ######


Prompt: Most of the kids in my child’s Texas school district returned to class face-to-face this week, although about 20-30% of the students are still working from home. I received an email from one of my kid’s teachers introducing themselves and letting parents know that their class was “blended learning” where all the kids (virtual AND face to face) watch videos to learn the class content and turn assignments in online. I was pretty upset with this; why is my child even going to school when they’re not going to be taught F2F? I responded to the teacher’s email and asked for clarification on if they were ACTUALLY teaching the kids who physically show up for class. They responded with some diplomatic bs about needing to provide the same opportunities to F2F and virtual students, they always answer any student questions, and the school board is requiring teachers to have lessons prepared in advance in case they’re exposed to the virus and have to quarantine. I truthfully just think it’s all stupid and this teacher is lazy. Teachers in my state make good money, get half the year off, and now they get to sit behind their desks the entire work day doing nothing? My taxes pay their salary. I communicated this to the teacher, saying respectfully that my child has a right to a better education than being taught by a YouTube video. I copied an assistant principal from the school and my wife on my response, but now my wife is upset with me and saying that I’m TA for “harassing” this teacher. So Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: YTA. First of all, sending your child to school is an absolute unnecessary risk to begin with. Secondly, how on earth is a teacher supposed to teach two different classes at the same time. Teachers in Texas do not make “good money” and you honestly need a privilege check. This person is risking their life in this environment to educate YOUR child. Have a speck of respect. ######


Prompt:
So we are from a country that’s currently dealing with huge disasters, there are legit high percentage of families that can’t find food and shelter because of the recent pandemic, we have electricity shortage, the government is even struggling to deliver water into homes all that with extreme temperature and a joke of a healthcare system this and others is a good recipe of disaster.

Anyways we are from the well off communities and being in a private school and having economically stable and comfortable families we decided to help as much as we could,

We had a Zoom call of about 40 students and few teachers,

So we started it normally and then when we were staring to discuss the problems and how we could help people during these times, there is this girl who out of no where starts lecturing us about BIm and how we should also discuss it and give it time, I tolerated her for few minutes then couldn’t contain myself.

I told her stuff like to shut up and that nobody gives a shit about some trouble the most economically powerful and many kilometers away is dealing with while our people are suffering and are struggling to even survive, and that nobody from the us would give a shut about us, and why she was being a naive shit, it got really heated and teachers had to intervene,

I left the call, and so did around 30-35 students.

The students who were left in the call reached out to Mr saying I extremely embarrassed her in front of 50 people and that she kept speaking to 4 left students and that she was very hurt by it and also she already suffers from anxiety and depression and this made things worse, and I should apologize

And I’m really not sure ######

Response:
 YTA. First of all, caring about the BLM movement is not something that’s limited only to Americans. So referring to that person as ignorant makes absolutely no sense.
Secondly, if you really feel that BLM is not something that you need to address then you need to learn to voice your opinion and argue points in a constructive way. ######


Prompt:
I'm in a tight spot here.

My son (17) is a bit of a hassle to handle. When he was younger he tried to commit, we had to send him away to a hospital, he's better now. Then when he was 15 he became an atheist and it was hard because we're super religious and even after I tried to convince him , he still stayed to his beliefs. Then he started sneaking out, it stopped. Then the attitude. My husband and him don't get along , they're civil but their constantly having fights because my son doesn't like what my husband likes.

A few weeks ago he had a friend (17M) over and , lets say he wasn't what I liked to be hanging out with my son. But of course I accepted it and let it be since they've been "friends" for 2 years I've allowed him over.

I have a horrible habit of not knocking and walked in on them making out.

Im not homphobic, I don't hate gay people, I think they're still people but I wouldn't exactly associate with them. It was awkward but then my son asked me not to tell anyone, and the "friend" hasn't come over since.

Now it's been horrible keeping this secret from my husband, I feel like I'm lying to him because he usually asks my son when he's going to get a girlfriend and I feel bad knowing something he doesn't.

Yesterday I pulled my son aside and told him he needs to his dad because I can't do this anymore. He said he doesn't want to because he's scared my husband will kick him out, now my husband wouldn't do that! Yes he'd be a little mad but he would never disown my son!

I stupidly said he needed to tell them and it went into this whisper-fight and now he isn't talking to me and spends most of his day in his room. My husband has noticed and I've been so tempted but haven't said anything.

Aita?? I feel horrid keeping this a secret. ######

Response: YTA. First of all “not wanting to associate with them (LGBTQ+)” is still HOMOPHOBIC. Not accepting a person for who they are as an LGBTQ+ individual is still homophobic. That aside, you cannot force your son to come out. It can sometimes be a very stressful and terrifying thing. Especially since your son would be coming out to a family member who may not be very accepting. ######


Prompt: Okay so I remember when I was at the gym one day and I was looking for a song on Spotify to jam out to while my workout routine. This lady started circling around me and pretending to look at her watch (she doesn’t have one LMAO) and she finally went up to me and was like “Can I use this machine because you’re not using it and ur on your phone young lady? People like me are waiting” and I said “okay Karen, if you insist” and got up ######

Response: YTA. Find your song before you tie up a machine. ######


Prompt:
I know that the title makes my situation sound bad, but hear me out.

So my daughter, who is 15 years old, recently came out to me as a lesbian, which I wholeheartedly support. That was about 3 days ago. Yesterday, she went to see some of her friends (with masks and social distancing) and they hung out for a while. When I came to pick her up, I noticed that she was acting more skittish around one of her friends (let's call her K) so I made a joke asking if she liked K (in a crush/romantic way). She freaked out at me, crying and saying that she hadn't told K yet about her being gay. I assumed that she had already told K, since she was so comfortable coming out to me. But AITA for accidentally embarrassing her in front of K? ######

Response:
 YTA. Even if your daughter is not a lesbian and K was a boy you'll still be an AH. You can't seriously wait for a few minutes until everyone else is out of earshot? Tsktsktsk.

Edit: typos ######


Prompt:
I’m a lifelong fan of Richard Pryor and I a frequenter of a cafe for a few months. The cafe is somewhat of a mixture of hipsters and yuppies, which isn’t really my scene, but it happens to be walking distance from my apartment.

This morning I went in and played Blazing Saddles on my laptop for about half an hour. I didn’t have headphones in but all of the tables are socially distanced and I didn’t play it excessively loud. It says the n word quite profusely, which might have to do with why I got kicked out, but it is said humorously in a way meant to skewer racists.

I was asked to turn it off and when I asked why the woman just looked at me sternly and said it disturbs other guests. I asked loudly if anyone was disturbed and people looked at me as if to say “no” and then put their heads back down. The barista repeated herself that it wasn’t allowed so I packed up my laptop and left.

Did I do anything wrong? ######

Response:
 YTA. Even if you were watching Sesame Street, you’d be the asshole.

Regardless of the content, it is polite to put on headphones when in a public space. So put on some damn headphones. ######


Prompt:
My fiance's mom is doing surrogacy for his dad's brother and his wife, because she can't have kids. We were at their house a few weeks ago and his mom is really visibly pregnant now. I know nothing about surrogacy, so i thought she just got pregnant the old fashioned way. I said that his dad is such a good brother for being willing to let his wife and brother sleep together, and then I said it must have been hard for the aunt, because I'm the jealous type and I couldn't handle that. Instead of explaining it to me, they all just laughed at me. His mom finally explained that she didn't sleep with his uncle, but the dad muttered "fucking idiot" under his breath.

I don't do well with disrespect and I ended up knocking a coffee cake to the ground. My fiance was really embarrassed, so we left. Now I am refusing to go back to their house, but tonight is his grandmother's birthday, and they are doing a family dinner at his mom's house. His dad still hasn't apologized, and said he isn't going to, so i'm refusing to go, but my fiance said i should just go, because it's about his grandma, not his dad. ######

Response:
 YTA. Even if you honestly thought they had to sleep together, the fact that you would bring that up at a family gathering  is extremely rude (and stupid). Then you knocked a cake on the ground when they called you out, just to drive home how much of an AH you are.

Well done. ######


Prompt:
Me [18F], my parents, my brother Tom and his girlfriend Lily [22M & 24F] went out for dinner yesterday.

We were all casually dressed. I wore jeans, t shirt, trainers etc and my parents and brother dressed the same way. Lily was different. She wore a dark dress, full makeup, hair done, heels etc. She looked like she was going to a wedding or a job interview or something. To be fair she is always like this. She's very fashion conscious. The only time I've ever seen her dressed down is at the gym. She dresses her best just to go the shop to buy milk.

At dinner it was quite busy, and we were wondering if they got our table number mixed up. I said for a joke that there was no chance of that with Lily's clothes sticking out they way they do. She gave me a dirty look for that.

When we got home Lily decided to stay the night. She didn't bring a change of clothes so borrowed Tom's jogging bottoms and t shirt. She came down after changing and taking her makeup off, and I said she looked cute, which she did. She gave me another dirty look and asked if she wasn't too overdressed for me.

WTF? That was a joke I made at the restaurant about the fact she was the odd one out. It wasn't meant to offend her or criticise the way she dresses.

She ignored me the rest of the night and still isn't talking to me in this morning. I did try to apologise but she ignored it.

I don't see what I did wrong. It wasn't meant to insult her so I'm not sure why she's so annoyed. ######

Response: YTA. Even if it wasn’t your intention, you were rude and you made her uncomfortable. Say you’re sorry, don’t pull stuff like this again and you’ll be fine ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend has a medium sized dog, idk what breed, im not much of a dog person. He seems to really like me a lot though and always comes to me and I don't like it. What pisses me off though is he likes to ran his snout into my ass. Im laying down, standing or bending over and the dog will just ram his snout into my ass. Fucking hell. I told my gf about it and she just thinks its funny.

I told my gf to not bring him oin dates and lock him up when i hang out. She says no and i need to learn to get along with the dog. I told her she needs to get him to get his shit together and stop shoving his nose in my ass. I said her dog is fucking weird and needs help, she got offended that i "insulted" her dog ######

Response: YTA. Dude, clean your asshole and this wouldn’t be a problem. Also, if you hate dogs so much, don’t date people with dogs? Because your strategy of getting pissed and saying she needs to “lock her dog up” is not going to start working anytime soon. People love their pets, they are family, and no one is gonna pick some stuck up dog hater with an unwashed ass over their own dog. ######


Prompt:
My friend (Lets call him Kenny 17m) posted to his instagram his new computer he built and his caption was "I can't believe I actually was able to build a computer by myself" his computer setup was just meh, it looked like any average modern day setup. Everyone in the comments was congratulating him saying stuff like "Bro thats awesome" or "Hats off to you sir" and other stuff like that but it wasn't that good (some people even reposted it to their own stories), he posted his computer again to his story saying "I'm gonna order more stuff for it", I (17m) replied to his story asking for him to stop posting his computer.
He replied back saying "Why what's the matter" I said "Your computer setup isn't even that hard to build and you're acting like it's a godly setup but it's mediocre at best" he then said "Dude I just wanted to post my computer I worked hard on it". I asked him how long it took him to build it and he said 3 hours (I'm not even joking) I told him that I was able to build my computer in a hour at 12 and my setup was way more complicated than his.

He said "You know you could have just liked the pic and moved on right?" and I told him that I refuse to congratulate mediocrity and that I did this because I was annoyed him and his friends kept posting it ti their stories. Later I got a message from another friend (Lets call him Von) asking why I was gatekeeping and I told him I wasn't gatekeeping because it was true his setup was mediocre and shouldn't be praised, he just responded with "Fuckin gatekeepers" and didn't respond to my other texts. I feel like I'm right and that mediocrity shouldn't be praised but AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Dude was just proud of himself for achieving something he didn’t think he could do. Then you come along and spread negativity on him. Be happy for someone, rather than pulling them down. ######


Prompt:
So for whatever  reason my 15y/o daughter has taken a real issue with saying “I love you” or hugs, I’ve spoken to her about it but she just kind of laughs it off.

I’ll say goodnight love you and she’ll say something like “Ha! Ok good for you” now I’d  take that personal if she didn’t also say it to my husband and her siblings.

She also completely rejects hugs.

I was picking her up from her fathers when he said see you later, love you, her siblings said it back but all she said was “yeah ok”

I don’t get it.

He went in to hug her and she dodged.

I apologised and said she’s just going through an awkward teen phase and told her to hug him goodbye, she got all awkward and some relatives who were at her fathers (stepmother, grandmother, aunt  and siblings) laughed at how awkward it was.

She stormed up to her room when we got home and called me a fucking bitch.

My husband thinks maybe I crossed a line and should apologise but I didn’t laugh? All I wanted her to do is hug her dad.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. Don't force her to hug people she doesn't want to hug. It's her body. Have an actual conversation with her about why she feels weird about saying "I love you" (which could just be normal teenager stuff) but don't force her to touch or be touched by people when she doesn't want to. It doesn't matter who they are.
Edit: typo ######


Prompt:
I (29M) and my gf (30F) moved in due to the pandemic. As a result of Covid, we have inevitably had to start working from home. We both work pretty difficult (sujectively) jobs that require a pretty significant amount of our time during the week + weekend. I would however say that my work is significantly more flexible in terms of when I work, I can work any time of day 24 hours a day. I just try my best to manage my time and squeeze in 40-50 hours a week. This is not to say that I take it easy, rather my job is very mentally draining and I cant focus on it for more than a few hours at a time without feeling exhausted. Her work however is more rigid in its hours and is a pretty constant 8-6 (think calls and meetings) with "breaks".

Issue: The challenge has been that Covid has really ramped up her quantity of work. By her own admission, this has been one of the toughest years (I dont doubt) -- therefore she has to sometimes work 60+ hours a week. We have mostly managed by me taking greater responsibilities around the house and to cook and clean--all of which I have absolutely no problem in and generally enjoy. However, the months on end of doing this have started to ware away at my enthusiam. Ultimately, the other day, after doing the majority of house duties for the day, the straw that broke the camels back was her working past midnight noting that she started work at 7:30/8 am. Its important to state that I have nothing against workaholics but rather, is it fair for me to be annoyed and frustrated. Following this, we got into a fight about the division of work around the house and "fairness". I'm not suggesting that all housework should be 50/50, it shoud be allocated more to the "free" person but considering we both have full-time jobs, I don't know how I can possibly sustain this without feeling like a placemat.

Help me reddit, AITA for requesting that whatever she do, she should finish work by 10:30 pm and help me more around the house. ######

Response: YTA. Don't expect someone working 60h+ weeks to do 50/50 of the house work. Especially when you're not working nearly as many hours and you have a much more flexible work routine. You're literally getting angry at your gf for her work overloading the fuck out of her. You're being incredibly unreasonable. ######


Prompt:
My 8yo is all boy. We were at Target buying some new clothes because he's growing and I let him decide what he wanted. He came back with nothing noticeable pair of girl shorts. The ones that are inches higher than boy shorts. I thought it was a mistake but he picked it out. The shorts were grey and neutral and not pink and frilly. He said it looked comfortable. I told him no, those were girl shorts and to put it back.

I related this story to some people and some said I was wrong. I'm his dad and my son will not wear girl clothes.

And no, he is not anything but a boy. He wasn't intentionally trying to find girl clothes.

Edit: He was disappointed. He didn't care because the colors were neutral. He's very picky about wearing certain clothes. For example he loved cardigans but will not wear a jacket. ######

Response: YTA. Do you want your son to grow up to be a man? Or a forever boy who is so insecure in his masculinity that the sight of a boy in 'girl shorts' causes a freakout? ######


Prompt:
 I have a (now) ex-friend who believes i'm transphobic for 'correcting' what they said. In short, they mentioned how they are "Happy they are trans", to which I responded with "Don't you mean that you're happy that you've been able to accept yourself?" because by implication, if they are 'happy' that they have a disorder in relation to gender/ body dysphoria which is how most trans people start feeling about themselves initially, then it sounded like to me they are glorifying a disorder; like someone saying (if lets say we assume they are successful) "I'm happy I am depressed because It made me realise my potential" - The friend who I had been with for a long time now wont talk to me because I couldn't get my point across before they went out and decided to not talk to me. AITA?

I don't intend to be transphobic, ever. I support transgender people and who they want to be but I can't wrap my head around the idea that you can be happy having a disorder when most disorders all have a negative side to them. ######

Response: YTA. Do you say every rude thought that pops into your head, or do you have the social awareness to keep some stuff to yourself? ######


Prompt:
Yesterday, I (26 m) and my partner (22 f) were driving to my parents’ house for lunch. As I was driving down the main road of the village we live in, a little girl (maybe 4ish?) suddenly shot off across the road in front of the car.

I absolutely slammed down on the brakes, the car lurched and squealed, my partner who was speaking choked as the seatbelt tightened around her and it was all very sudden and frightening.

I pounded my fist on the horn at the girl and rolled down the window at the visibly terrified mother who ran out to pull her back. I was really furious and started properly shouting at her, don’t remember exactly what was said but something like “Watch your child you fucking stupid bitch!”

We rolled the window back up and carried on, but my partner was annoyed at me. She said I really shouldn’t have shouted and sworn at the mother and that she was very young (she looked like very early 20s) and must be really stressed rn. I said that she would have been a hell of a lot more stressed if her daughter had been killed because she couldn’t look after her properly.

It blew up into quite an argument with her defending the mum, saying that the horn would have scared her enough and that it was really unnecessary for me to scream at her like that.

I admit that I was slightly out of control with anger, but considering I very nearly killed a child because of her mother’s negligence and that shouting at her was not only justified because of the situation, but useful to startle her into keeping better hold of her daughter in future.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Do you really think that’s an acceptable response? I understand your frustration but to shout and swear at a mother and child is vile ######


Prompt:
I’ve been with my girlfriend for 3 years.

I have two daughters (6 & 4) with an ex and a son with my girlfriend (1)

My girlfriend, Vicki recently got a new phone and she’s attached to it almost 24/7 but she works off it so it’s understandable.

I went on her phone recently to text my ex as we were running late with the children and I noticed it was a picture of my children, not even with their brother in the picture just a picture of them and I’ll admit it’s a really sweet photo, my eldest is so awkward in photos but my girlfriend managed to get an almost natural picture.

I find it weird, if it had their brother in the picture then fine it’d be sweet but it doesn’t.

I asked her to change her background picture and after hours of us arguing because in her eyes I’m being immature she changed the picture to one of us at the hospital the day our son was born.

She’s still upset about it claiming I’m undermining her position in the children’s lives but they have parents and it’s me and their mother.

She’s got hundreds of photos of all the children but we usually print them out and hang them up if they’re nice I just think she crossed a boundary especially as we’re not married, they’re not her children.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Do you not like your girlfriend very much? Sounds like you don't like her. I think it's strange that you would have such an issue with her feeling love for your children. ######


Prompt:
I recently broke off a friendship with a girl I'd known since kindergarden because I really think she was faking these illnesses she was claiming to have. She is always on crutches and wearing braces cause she says her joints "dislocate" and she even used a wheelchair sometimes. I think she just likes the attention because people are always asking her what happened and helping her. I have always been at least polite, but now it's just ridiculous.

She says she can't even stand for 5 minutes without passing out and that she gets allergic reactions to stuff like my perfume. (she asked me not to spray it around her, but I know she was being over dramatic when she "had to use an epipen" because i sprayed one little squirt)

She misses so much school and can never do anything with our friend group anymore, so our other friends go to her house, but I just want to go to the mall, is that so wrong???

One day before walking to class she asked me to carry her backpack for her even though she wasn't even using crutches that day so I said no. (I'd usually say no anyway because I know she's fully capable of carrying it herself) And she just said please because her shoulders were "dislocating" a lot that day and I told her to quit her bullshirt because that isn't even possible. I told her that unless she stops faking all of these problems I am so done with our friendship and she just sat their crying asking what she did wrong. I told her that I want a friend who will actually go places with me and be at school all the time for me to talk to and stuff. Then I walked away and I haven't talked to her since.

Our mutual friends are all telling me that I'm an asshole and I should apologize, but I don't really see anything wrong with what I did. AITA??? ######

Response: YTA. Do you have proof that she is faking her illnesses besides you not understanding that even a small squirt of perfume can send someone into an allergic reaction? ######


Prompt:
I'm in a tight spot here.

My son (17) is a bit of a hassle to handle. When he was younger he tried to commit, we had to send him away to a hospital, he's better now. Then when he was 15 he became an atheist and it was hard because we're super religious and even after I tried to convince him , he still stayed to his beliefs. Then he started sneaking out, it stopped. Then the attitude. My husband and him don't get along , they're civil but their constantly having fights because my son doesn't like what my husband likes.

A few weeks ago he had a friend (17M) over and , lets say he wasn't what I liked to be hanging out with my son. But of course I accepted it and let it be since they've been "friends" for 2 years I've allowed him over.

I have a horrible habit of not knocking and walked in on them making out.

Im not homphobic, I don't hate gay people, I think they're still people but I wouldn't exactly associate with them. It was awkward but then my son asked me not to tell anyone, and the "friend" hasn't come over since.

Now it's been horrible keeping this secret from my husband, I feel like I'm lying to him because he usually asks my son when he's going to get a girlfriend and I feel bad knowing something he doesn't.

Yesterday I pulled my son aside and told him he needs to his dad because I can't do this anymore. He said he doesn't want to because he's scared my husband will kick him out, now my husband wouldn't do that! Yes he'd be a little mad but he would never disown my son!

I stupidly said he needed to tell them and it went into this whisper-fight and now he isn't talking to me and spends most of his day in his room. My husband has noticed and I've been so tempted but haven't said anything.

Aita?? I feel horrid keeping this a secret. ######

Response:
 YTA. Do not out your child.

Your son is clearly not ready to come out to your husband. Based on your post, I don’t blame him. If you break his trust your relationship with him may never recover. ######


Prompt:
My girls are 6 and 4 and they live with their mother, stepfather and 2 brothers that are 2 and a newborn.

I have them every other weekend. I’m married and also have a son. Well my kids came over and they had been gushing over how their stepdad bought them a trampoline and how he would hold their hands and bounce them up high. So I asked what all her and stepdad did together and she said “well at nighttime we all get in mommy and his bed and we watch a movie. Then he makes us a bedtime snack and gives us a glass a milk. When he comes home he plays games with us and plays on the trampoline with us. Then we all go and take care of the chickens together.  Then she said sometimes him and her lay in bed and watch cartoons or she plays games on his phone with him but she lays on his back or lays her head in his legs.

I find that inappropriate. I don’t think my ex wife should have had another man around my girls since men can sometimes do unspeakable acts to children. I told my daughters that he loves his children and that he couldn’t love them like a real parent does .

This upset my daughter and my wife overheard and she is furious with me as well asking if I meant that she didn’t love them as much as our son and I said well yeah since you didn’t give birth to them. Now she isn’t speaking to me and my daughters were crying before they left. I just don’t want them to lay in bed with a grown man and think that he loves them like he’s a parent when he could have ulterior motives. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. Divorced father of two here, one boy, one girl. If I heard that my children were being so well-taken care of by my ex’s partner, I would be ecstatic. Because children deserved to be loved by everyone who is in their life. The fact that you don’t provide any details of the time you spend with them, is indicative that you probably don’t do nearly as much with them as your ex’s SO does. You’re only upset because you’re jealous and feel inadequate because you don’t do fun things with your children. So instead of supporting them and being happy for them, you’re trying to bring them down to your level of misery.

Here’s an idea.... try bringing your kids up instead of down. Try actually spending time and doing things with your kids. And most importantly, stop projecting your immature childish insecurities onto them.

Man up and be a father, then you won’t feel this way. ######


Prompt:
Disclaimer: This happened awhile ago but I thought I'd post this for clarification.

My son at the time was 9 years old and has plenty of friends at his school. Among them is an autistic kid who is in a separate special ed class. My son and him met during recess and hung out plenty of times.

The autistic kid and my son have hung out at each other's houses a few times. The parents are nice, wonderful people, but I have to be honest, I am not a fan of the autistic child. He can be nice at times but there's been quite a few incidents where he broke out into screaming fits and throwing things around. It's very difficult controlling an autistic 8 year old kid who is not yours unfortunately. It's made me weary of him and anytime my son and the autistic kid hangout, I try to encourage them to hangout at the autistic kid's house.

My son had a birthday party coming up and invited everyone from his class. He threw around the idea of inviting the autistic kid too but I told him it wasn't a good idea. My wife was sort of on the fence about it, and I explained to my son that it's possible his autistic friend will have a meltdown and ruin the party for the other kids, and as well as potentially embarrassing my wife and I to any adults who might come along too.

My son understood and we proceeded to have the party. A week later, the autistic kid apparently found out about the party and how he wasn't invited. His mother actually contacted my wife and said her was son hurt by that and is refusing to speak to my son. My son was his only friend and I felt terrible for him.

I empathize with him but at the same time, it was our house and our party so I feel like I am not the asshole for saying who is allowed to come or not? ######

Response: YTA. Did it ever occur to you to invite the kid's parents too? Like, someone who *knows* how to handle an autistic 8-year-old and who can swoop in and remove him from the party if need be? ######


Prompt:
My mom doesn't like it and says that it bothers my half-sister when I do this because she feels like I don't care about her. I'm not sure if I really believe this because my half-sister has never said anything to me.

I think it bothers my mom more than her because she feels like we aren't close. She also gives me a hard time because I am the only one of her kids close in age to my half-sister, so I am the only one she ever sees or gets to spend time with.

I don't see any of this as my problem. Nothing I have said is untrue, and I don't think I am the only person in the world to use "half-sister" instead of "sister." It's not fair to get mad at me for simply calling our situation for what it is or to put all this on my because she doesn't have anyone else. She has her own friends. She should spend time with them.

She is not my sister. She is my half-sister. We don't share the same parents, and that matters to me. I don't feel the same way about her that I feel about my brothers, and I don't see that ever changing because we have nothing in common. She is more like a cousin than a sibling.

I told my mom I wouldn't change what I call her, but I am sure she think I am being an asshole. Am I? ######

Response:
 YTA. Definitely. Man I hate posts from teenagers. Your complex emotions are so difficult to reason with. This is something that in 20 years you’ll realize didn’t matter at all and you should have just called her your sister and not put so much thought into it.

By always referring to her as your “half-sister” what you’re doing is making sure people know that there’s a divide between the two of you and that she’s not good enough for you to bridge that divide. There are some kids who understand that and would want to do anything they could to make their “half-siblings” feel like they’re wanted and accepted and just as good as a full-sibling. And then there are immature kids who don’t care about anyone’s feelings and think it’s cool to separate themselves from their annoying/embarrassing siblings, airhead moms, and cowardly step-dads. Newsflash: you’re lucky to have a family that loves you and a sister who wants to play with you and be around you. Get over yourself. ######


Prompt:
I (31M) was at a friend’s place with my wife (30F). We were a group of people and were talking about salaries.

To provide some context, the salaries in my part of the world have doubled over the past year (before Covid )and are much higher than from when I graduated 8 years ago. We were discussing the increase in salaries and I heard my wife give a range of salaries which was very high. I misunderstood her to be talking about salaries from 8 years ago and piped in saying she doesn’t know what she is talking about. She stayed quiet and the conversation moved on to other things. She actually was talking about figures for previous year before jump.

On coming home, she was very upset and said that I discredited her in front of everyone and was rude. I disagree because I didn’t know the context. So AITA ? ######

Response: YTA. correcting her in public is rude enough but if you absolutely had to (despite being incorrect yourself) there are a lot kinder ways than *she doesn't know what she's talking about.* being condescending to your wife, especially in front of friends, is not cool. ######


Prompt:
We've been dating each other for a little over a year now and our relationship has been great with no problems and no complaints. Unfortunately I couldn't see her in person from March to like mid June cos of corona but we've been seeing each other again and going out quite regularly now for the past few weeks. Before this I never cared or had any problems about how she dressed but ever since we got back again she's been dressing in a very "lewd" manner. For example: She was wearing a dress where u could see around [this](https://www.thefashiontamer.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/sexy-club-dresses.jpg) much of her tits. She's also been wearing short af crop tops and short shorts (not together) quite regularly ever since. Now I don't normally have a problem with crop tops or short shorts but those r short af, like u can literally see half her ass.

When we were at the park yesterday, I asked her how come she's been dressing really weird lately and she just said she wanted to try out new things. Then I said it was better when u dressed properly before, and she went really quiet and was just silent for a few secs before walking away. I asked her what's wrong and she told me to piss off so I didn't bother chasing her.

I went home and saw that I had a couple of messages from her friends on insta and snap telling me I'm a misogynist for telling her how to dress and shit like "This isn't the 1950s anymore". I tried texting her asking her if we could talk about this in person properly but she left me on read.

This morning I eventually apologized to her for what I said yesterday and asked if she would like to come over to talk about this properly or just message me but she left me on read again. Her friends been messaging me shit non stop since yesterday while she hasn't even replied.

Idc about what her friends do or think of me tbh and now that I've thought this through I do think she's overreacting about this whole thing. What do u guys think though, AITA or nah?? ######

Response: Yta. Controlling and insecure behavior. ######


Prompt:
I’m one of 7 kids. There’s 6 of us older adult kids (f23, me f21, m20, m20, f19, f18) and then our little sister who’s 5, who our parents call a happy accident. She obviously wasn’t planned but we all absolutely love her.

As a whole family we don’t get to spend that much time together, all us older kids live away at college and all tend to come home at different times, so when we all came home at the beginning of Covid, we took it as an opportunity to prank our little sister into thinking she’s adopted. We didn’t plan on carrying it out, only pointing out that we’re all blonde and she’s brunette, but ended up becoming a lot more elaborate.

It started with little comments here and there, how she’s so much younger than us, how tiny she is compared to us, how she looks different to us, and I ended up telling her that she was adopted from Romania and needed to learn Romanian in case her biological parents wanted her back. My oldest sister and I even printed off an adoption certificate and made it look as realistic as possible. We got such a laugh out of our little sister genuinely thinking she was adopted, until our mom and dad found out and were absolutely furious.

Our mom told us that our sister has been struggling with being “an only child” and saying she wishes she was more like me and my sisters. Apparently for a 5 year old she’s had quite a lot of identity issues and it was worsened by our prank. My mom found out because my sister asked her where she could learn Romanian and when her family were coming to take her away.

When our mom confronted us we thought it was hilarious so we were laughing as she told us which just pissed her off even more. She’s now saying we’re awful siblings and that we’re not allowed to come back home unless we seriously apologise to our sister. We have apologised but it was only a joke and really wasn’t that deep. It was all my idea so AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. Congratulations, you bullied and tricked a child. You are the pinnacle of intelligence and subterfuge. You even "got her" with a faked adoption certificate IT'S A 5 YEAR OLD A PIECE OF CONSTRUCTION PAPER THAT SAID "UR ADOPTED" WOULD HAVE TRICKED HER.

A combined 100 years of people worked together to ... hurt a child's feelings? Fuck her up a little bit? ... But why? ######


Prompt:
I work for this factory, i'm pretty much a foreman and supervisor for my team. It's a factory job, i liked it. My guys respected me even though i was a woman. I got my son (22) a job here as well, mostly as an assistant to the other supervisors, just a little desk job.  He likes it enough. He hasn't been able to find a job because of the virus, so i got him a job here.

I'd been here for a couple years. But a few days ago, they informed me that i was being let go, just from my current position. They offered me a lower paying position though. That's not what made me quit, i was gonna try to be a company woman. The person they wanted to bring in to replace me, they literally wanted me to be the one to train them. They want me to train my REPLACEMENT. They wouldn't even tell me why i was being bumped. That was a huge insult.

I was furious and just quit then and there. I told them they could find another stooge. When my son got home, i asked him politely to quit. But he told me no, not because of the money, but there's this girl he likes there. It led into a bit of an argument, i asked him to do it for me. I basically begged him to do so, to call the boss and tell him he's quitting. I told him i didn't want to work for a company that would do this to his mom. But he just asked "What am i supposed to do now? Nobody's hiring" and how he's upset he won't get to see her again.

Was it wrong of me to use my son to help make a statement? ######

Response: YTA. Compromising his future (financially, but also socially) just so you can make a petty statement? Not even a question ######


Prompt:
I just moved into my first apartment after living almost all my life in base housing since my dad was in the Air Force. We always ran our AC full blast with the windows open to get fresh air. I didn’t realize this was because we never had to pay utilities and this wasn’t the norm.

Anyways it’s how I got used to sleeping in the summer time. I like it being really cool but I also like the fresh air. Yes it’s kind of expensive but it’s my place and it’s not that big. It’s also my money so I feel I can do whatever I want with it.

I have a friend who came over to spend the night and I wasn’t aware that she got up and shut all the windows in the middle of the night. I woke up and felt like I was suffocating and opened them all up again. This led to a huge fight and she accused of ruining the environment with all the energy im wasting. I gave all the reasons above and she said I was being such a jerk. She was supposed to hang out all day, instead she left early to keep her road trip going. We haven’t spoken.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: YTA. Climate change is real. Also your dad is a huge AH, what a waste of taxpayer dollars. ######


Prompt: At the local grocery store and in line at the deli. Several customers standing around waiting their turn. I go to get a ticket and pull number 27. They are now serving number 21. I step back patiently to wait my turn. They call and wait on No 22, and then 23.  When they call number 24 no one steps up.  Hmmm. Must have got bored and left. As they are getting ready to call number 25 I step up, drop my ticket, number 27, in the bin, and say. "A pound of corned beef please." They presume I am 24 and take my order. My wife says that I should just let them go on to the next number. Wait my turn. I say that if the next number was alert they would have stepped up before me. What do you think? ######

Response: Yta. Clearly the idea is that you wait for your number to be called. I get that it’s annoying to wait, but it’s annoying for everyone - not just you. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé (29M) and I (28F) have been together for five years, engaged for one. About a year into our relationship, we were on a date and he brought up the “celebrity hall pass” question. He picked someone he’ll likely never meet, I picked the lead singer of a locally popular band whose music has been a huge part of my life.

I never expected it to happen but in January, my friend got me backstage pass to the band and I mentioned to the lead singer that he was my celebrity hall pass. I guess he found it charming because he got my number, invited me back to his hotel, and we slept together.

I told my husband first thing when I got home. He didn’t say anything at the time, but did seem pretty upset. Ever since then though, he’s been making snide comments about my “infidelity”. I didn’t think he was that seriously bothered until we had to finally pull the plug on our fall wedding because of COVID. He said he was actually glad we were pushing out the wedding because it can give him time to think if it’s worth marrying an unfaithful woman.

He admits that he remembers this conversation and he was the one who brought it up. But he says that because it was so early in our relationship, the rules changed when we got engaged and I should’ve asked him first. It seems clear he would’ve said no if I asked. AITA??? ######

Response: YTA. Celebrity hall passes are a joke. No one actually thinks they are for real. Except you, apparently. ######


Prompt:
I(14F) was bored today, so I decided to pull this prank on my brother(16M).

I mixed some ghost pepper paste in his toothpaste. The prank worked well, initially he thought something was wrong with his toothpaste but then his mouth started burning hard and he ran for the milk. I though it was pretty funny.

I thought he would laugh it off too but he got a little heated. I said I was sorry and was just trying to have some during quarantine. He even told our parents about it, who also laughed at it but he is still mad.

I was all “ok wtf no I apologized it was literally nothing”. Nope wouldn’t budge. He didn't even play board games with me this evening.

AITA here? ######

Response: YTA. Causing someone pain is not funny. ######


Prompt:
A year ago my GF moved to my country and we met soon after. We have been together for almost a year. Her dad suddenly passed away about a month ago and she flew home for a week to attend the funeral. Because she hasn't lived here long she does not have a strong support system here besides me, all her close friends/family live very far away with a big time difference. She has some friends here but especially due to the pandemic they are not close and can't really offer any support for her. She has communicated to me that I am the only person here she can rely on.

When she returned we spent most of 3 weeks together. At the end of those 3 weeks I decided to go on vacation (it was not planned before her dad passed) to visit friends which meant we were not together for 12 nights. I've been really busy with my friends and so I haven't responded to her texts/calls as quickly as she would like and haven't always had the time for phone calls, or am around other people when we call.

I've noticed when calling her lately she seems distant and sad, and when I ask whats wrong she said she feels like I abandoned her and she feels very alone. So now I am wondering if AITA for going on the trip? ######

Response: YTA. C'mon man, a 12 night vacation when your girlfriend is grieving a parent and has nobody else to lean on? And you can't even be bothered to set aside time to talk to her on the phone? You shouldn't have had to ask. You might not be ready for a serious relationship and that's quickly becoming apparent to your girlfriend. ######


Prompt:
I got married very young, just out of high school, so I might not have had the most mature responses to my MIL issues. This all happened about five years ago. When we got married we moved eight hours away so if she visited she stayed overnight.

MIL seemed miserable whenever she was with us. I didn’t cook, we didn’t have A.C., she couldn’t sleep because the house was hot. Also I used to be very religious and had some house rules she didn’t like. I corrected her when she said oh my god and she was pissed the rest of the night.

Having them really gave me anxiety. I couldn’t deal with having people in my space constantly. I asked if they could stay in a hotel (they could definitely afford it) and MIL texted back that she is tired of having this fake relationship. We clearly don’t like her very much but she doesn’t care and she won’t be visiting anymore.

My husband wanted to reach out to her and recently when we were back in our hometown visiting family we met up at a park. She talked to us and her husband was at the playground with a little girl. I assumed they were babysitting but she said at the end that my husband should meet his little sister. She was technically young enough but we were still shocked.

Now my husband says he resents me for not even knowing his mom had a kid. He says I should have sucked it up and that I drove his family away. ######

Response:
 YTA. By your own account, she did nothing wrong. You were a terrible host and made her feel unwelcome and judged. "House rules"? You "corrected" her? You didn't cook--did your husband?  Did you two feed her at all? Do you know what a guest is?

Look, I understand anxiety. I understand having someone in your home can be awkward/painful. But your issues are your issues and your responsibility. You don't get to impose them on innocent people. If you couldn't handle it, you could have taken a step back and let your husband take on primary host role.

Your husband is an AH too for not standing up for her. Yes, spouses should usually be a unit when it comes to in-law conflicts, but in this case you were wrong and he should have had her back, not yours. He bears some responsibility for the breakdown in his relationship with her.

You were young and we all have our awful moments when we're young. But--unless there's a big chunk of this story missing--you never apologized. You never tried to repair things. That's really why you're the AH now. ######


Prompt:
My husband was not raised by his mother. I don't know many details because she said she doesn't have to justify it to me, but i think she wanted an abortion and was talked out of it. She is very successful in a niche industry and spent his childhood traveling, focusing on her career, and partying. For some reason he has forgiven her, but she doesn't seem very sorry and she still seems to think she was the victim in all of that.

I am currently pregnant and my husband says she has changed and deserves a relationship with her grandchild. I don't think she has ever taken care of a baby before. I bought a baby doll and wanted to test her, but she threw the doll on the floor. MIL started crying and saying we'll never get a penny from her and now my husband is angry and says i am holding emotional issues against her and that she doesn't have to atone the rest of her life. ######

Response:
 YTA. Buying a baby doll to prove her preparation was completely patronizing. If you're not comfortable having her watch the baby or being alone with the baby, then you and your husband should get on the same page and just say as much.

Ultimately, your husband is the one who decides if he forgives his mother. He needs you on his team, not working against him. ######


Prompt:
Before I start this, I love my daughter. I'm not one of those parents who values their partner's opinions/feelings over their child's.

Anyway, I've been dating my girlfriend for almost two years now and at the start of this year we had decided to move in together. We were all going to move into a new house (we being me and my daughter, my girlfriend and her son). Unfortunately we haven't been able to do that and my girlfriend had to leave her house due to some issues. So she moved into the house I have now until we start looking for houses.

Her son is 17 and is pretty tall (not sure how tall exactly). My daughter, 16, told them when they moved in that she will do anything to make them feel welcome.

The first few nights were okay but my girlfriend's son was having to sleep on the sofa since there's no other place for him to sleep. He didn't fit on it and there's no way he would've been able to get much sleep. I felt bad and said he could have my daughter's room and she can sleep on the sofa since she's small.

My daughter was mad at this and saying she finds it creepy he's now in her room even though before she was so welcoming to them both and now she's acting the complete opposite. This isn't going to be forever and I'm having a hard time knowing what to do for best. I'm trying to make everyone happy and I'm not sure if any decision I make is going to make me not an asshole. ######

Response: YTA. Buy him an air mattress. Don't kick your daughter out of her room. Jfc. Better yet, give him your room. ######


Prompt:
My older sister adopted a child from Russia about 5 years ago now, when she was a baby. Her daughter is now 5 and in school. I love my niece, but her development isn’t where it should be for a 5 year old, which causes lots of discussions in our family as to whether she should be assessed or anything.

The night before last, my sister and her daughter came round to our family home. My sister is a key worker so her daughter has still been going to school. My sister started telling us that her teacher is concerned that she’s dyslexic as she’s really struggling to grasp words and phonetics and stuff. I myself have a dyslexic child, and I don’t feel as though her daughter is, so I said “she’s probably not dyslexic, probably just the crack baby component of it all” and the room went deadly silent. I didn’t think what I said was too uncalled for considering my sister made it family news that her daughters biological mom had a drug problem.

After we’d finished dinner my sister pulled me aside and said if I ever spoke like that about her daughter again she’d cut me off which I think is a bit dramatic. Her daughter didn’t hear what I said and it’s always been family knowledge. My mom and dad have also said I’m an asshole for what I said and that I need to be more considerate of my sisters feelings. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. But you already know that. ######


Prompt:
i(F29) told my (F27) friend/bridemaid she is no longer invited to my wedding.

i had a rule after choosing my bridemaids and that was i will choose everything from their dress to their make up and they seemed on board and to be honest it is my right as the BRIDE because it is MY wedding.

a friend reached out to me privately and told me she's not comfortable with changing her hairstyle because it is not easy to style African-American hair and she liked her dreads. now this is where it all started i told her that i would be willing to pay no matter the price for her hair i have no ill feelings towards her and i don't mind her hair but it would look extremely awkward next to the other bridesmaids and would stand out in pictures. again this is MY wedding and its supposed to be about ME. now if she was just a guest i wouldn't mind but she's a bridemaid which means she would be standing next to me in pictures and sitting next to me. she told me it is not about the price and she doesn't want to take them out and that heat can damage her hair i told her i respect her decision but she is no longer invited to my wedding UNLESS she changes her hairstyle (i'm honestly willing to re-invite her but only as a guest)

my friends opinions are divided some think i have the right to request that because it is my wedding and others think that telling my bridesmaids to wear certain hairstyles is too controlling. i'm really stressed about my wedding and i don't want to ruin it before it even happens.

AITA FOR TELLING MY FRIEND TO CHANGE HER HAIR? ######

Response: yta. bridezilla as fuck. “it’s all about ME ME ME ME ME” like girl shut up ######


Prompt:
I am planning to go away this weekend to the mountains with my girlfriend. My wife and I have already agreed to end our marriage, but we have not told our daughter yet.

My wife knows I am seeing someone and about the trip. She doesn't agree with what I am doing and feels neither of us should date until we're officially separated at the least, but that's not really relevant to my question I guess.

The issue here is that my wife feels I am disrespecting her and our daughter by "stepping out" before we've had a chance to tell our daughter we're divorcing. She thinks the least I could do is not go on trips with my girlfriend until our family has had a chance to come to terms with the divorce and that by not waiting I am being selfish and putting my wants above the well being of our daughter, which makes me an asshole.

My wife thinks it is unfair and disrespectful to our daughter because she should have time to process this before she has to deal with a new woman being in her dad's life. I don't see this as an issue because I have no plans to bring my girlfriend into my life any time soon, but my wife worries about our daughter finding out somehow and then spiraling because of the shock of a divorce and new relationship.

I don't think everything my wife has said is unreasonable, but life goes on and can't be stopped because the timing is far from idea. There's no guarantee how our daughter will react. She may never be okay with me seeing someone else or going away with them, so postponing the trip doesn't make any sense to me. I also give less weight to m wife's views because she's been the one wanting to delay telling our daughter, so it isn't fair to then hold my life hostage until she's ready.

This trip has nothing to do with her or our daughter, and it has no affect on either of them. Why would I be the asshole for going away for the weekend when our marriage is over and as far as I am concerned it's really none of their business anyway.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Boy is it easy to see why you're getting divorced. ######


Prompt:
IM27) have been with my fiancée(F29) for about 5 years now, and I proposed in January. Now that we’re engaged I started mulling over the thought of me coming out to her. I’ve know I was bi since I was 14 and kept it secret from most people, as most people know there are certain stigmas around bisexual men that I didn’t want to be associated with. In my experience women that I’ve dated have not been very happy after hearing their partner has been intimate with another man. In the past I have came out to a few girlfriends who promptly break up me thinking that I’m just gay but in denial.

I’ve asked around my close friend group and I got mixed answers. Some think it would be better for me to not tell her, and a few think that if I’m going to marry her I need to be upfront with her about my sexuality. Specifically one of my friends, L’Darius, told me that I was lying to her by keeping it a secret. This accusation got our group in a pretty intense argument on if I was being an asshole by not telling my fiancée. One then suggested this sub, and now here we are.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Bi/pansexual person here— you’re hiding a major part of your identity from the person you’re spending your life with. This isn’t fair to either of you, and she deserves to know. If she broke up with you because of it, then you never should have been with her in the first place. This should be something your partners should know about from the very beginning, not something you drop months or years down the road. ######


Prompt:
My daughter (33f) and I (51f) have a pretty strained relationship. We were out of touch for a number of years but have recently tried to start over fresh. She left home when she was at 17 to join the army. I was going through a separation, and then divorce, from her father. Before leaving, she was very unruly and hard to handle. So her father and I decided to sign her up for the army since she was underage. I still had a 16-year-old son at home to raise as well.  I told her that, due to her behavior, signing her up for the military was all felt I could do. I also mentioned to her that her behavior was the cause of my marriage falling apart. Her father was having an affair and didn't want her around. After her time in the army, our contact was sparse.

She has come back into my life with children and a husband of her own. I see her making a lot of the mistakes I made my children with her own. I think it is important that I remain in her life to help her make better choices. She has been resistant but overall it is OK.

One big sticking point is that she wants to be called by her first name. Growing up, we called her her middle name. She began going by her first name in the military and now goes by it all the time. To me she isn't her first name, she is her middle name, and I have having a hard time adjusting. I don't think it is a big deal if I call her the middle name out of habit. ######

Response:
 YTA. Because you told her daughter SHE WAS THE REASON FOR YOUR DIVORCE.

She was not by the way, only you and your husband are responsible for your divorce.

Also based on how you handled your daughter you are one of the last people on earth who should be giving any sort of parenting advice besides "make sure you use a carseat"

You should call her her first as she requested, you abandoned her, you no longer get a say. You should be over the moon grateful she wants anything to do with you.

I hope she reconsiders and permanently cuts you out of her life. ######


Prompt:
Well yeah...so I have a pug who’s turning 12 next week. About a month ago I asked one of my coworkers who has a side business baking custom artistic cakes if she could make one for “my baby.” By which I actually meant my dog who I affectionately refer to as my baby. I thought she knew this.

It doesn’t help that my dog has a very human name. So when I commissioned the cake I guess she fully thought that this was for a human child. Anyways this past weekend we were texting about cake flavors. I asked her if we could make it low fat/low sugar. She asked if my kid is diabetic and I just said oh no I just don’t think dogs should eat a full-fat cake.

She didn’t reply for a while then called me and was like what dog? I told her it’s for my dog’s birthday party and she said forget it I’m not baking for a dog. I told her I already prepaid and it’s now too late for me to commission a new cake so I’d appreciate it if she just made it since it’s her job.

Long story short, we ended up arguing and I threatened to post bad reviews on her cake business’s site if she cancels on me last minute. It’s not like I’m asking her to come up with a brand new dog-specific recipe, just cut down on sugar and dairy so it’s better for my elderly dog. She takes this as a huge insult apparently despite the fact that I’m paying the full price. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Baking is a science that can be undermined by making changes to the recipe. You paid for a cake and then asked her to learn how to make dog food. Most cake ingredients aren’t appropriate for dogs to eat, so instead of making something with professional skill, you are asking her to put her rep on the line to make something she’s never made and doesn’t want to learn how to make. ######


Prompt:
Fourteen years ago my daughter, then 19, gave birth to a little girl who she called; **Dorothea Pearl** I didn’t like the name but she named her after my mother.

I will admit I wasn’t a perfect mother and my daughter rebelled, her father left us when she was 10 and I worked full time so she resented that and acted out and at the time I didn’t see it as her trying to get my attention.

We weren’t close, I wasn’t invited to see the baby when she was born and didn’t see the baby at all  until I was told that my daughter had passed away.

When I got the baby in my custody, I didn’t instantly think to rename her (she was 3 then) but eventually the name situation got me down and my husband and I renamed her Elena Rose (pronounced El-ay-na)

She goes by that although my husband loves calling her Pea (for Pearl) sometimes, she doesn’t get the meaning of the nickname.

My brother to this day insists I’m an asshole for changing her name, I don’t personally believe I am but my brother was always close to my daughter (his granddaughter was named in memory of my daughter)

AITA?

Edit; typo! ######

Response:
 YTA. At three years old, the child has already learned her name. It feels like your are dishonoring your daughter's memory by erasing the name she chose for her child.

This little girl went through a huge amount of upheaval and change that she's unable to fully understand. You went ahead and likely made this scary time even more confusing for her by changing something she probably inherently understood to be unchangeable.

I might feel differently if it was some outlandish name that would get the child made fun of, but it's a perfectly nice name and you shouldn't have changed it just because YOU didn't like it. ######