Prompt:
My husband's older half siblings hate MIL. My husband and I currently aren't getting along with her either, so honestly we all talk a lot of shit about her. This woman is truly evil and one of the worst people i've ever met, but one thing really bothers me. They call her FIL's mail order bride. MIL is hispanic and FIL is white, and i feel like they wouldn't use that specific term if she was white as well. MIL recently went nuclear and got FIL to cut all of his children out of the will.

Up until that point he had been leaving about 70% of his money to her anyway and it is more money than she could possible need, so I know it is based on punishing DH and her stepkids. He changed his will and is leaving them $10 each so they can't contest it.

We had dinner last night and of course making fun of her is our favorite topic, but the mail order bride thing came up again, combined with how they say her name. MIL has a hispanic name which is popular in English and Spanish (think Maria, Sofia, etc) and they pronounce it with such a thick accent though she doesn't even has an accent.

DH said that bitch isn't even my mom anymore. I just have my dad and the mail order bride. I asked if she was white if they would call her that and DH and his siblings got very upset. MIL is half hispanic, so DH is mostly white and doesn't feel any connection. They all told me i was overreacting. I said we can call her a slut and a bitch just fine, and we don't need to use that term or make fun of her name. Now all of them are very angry and think I was insensitive to their pain.

DH pointed out after dinner that his mom had made a bitchy social media post joking about spending all their money and not giving them anything, so he said i defended the indefensible and I took her side. ######

Response:
 YTA:  I'm going for YTA as you actually thinking you are being a good person here.

Calling anyone those names are awful you aren't better for drawing a line at the rasist remark when you still openly relish in the sexist ones.

Fine if she is the worst person in the world, cut contact then.

Calling her names and spending the majority of your family gathering shit talking makes you as low as her.

Again gossiping and name calling is gross and ugly and I found in the past if I ever did it I felt low and more of a negative  person after.

We all need to vent sometimes but the fact you say it's your go to thing as a family makes me really sad for you all. ######


Prompt:
i(F29) told my (F27) friend/bridemaid she is no longer invited to my wedding.

i had a rule after choosing my bridemaids and that was i will choose everything from their dress to their make up and they seemed on board and to be honest it is my right as the BRIDE because it is MY wedding.

a friend reached out to me privately and told me she's not comfortable with changing her hairstyle because it is not easy to style African-American hair and she liked her dreads. now this is where it all started i told her that i would be willing to pay no matter the price for her hair i have no ill feelings towards her and i don't mind her hair but it would look extremely awkward next to the other bridesmaids and would stand out in pictures. again this is MY wedding and its supposed to be about ME. now if she was just a guest i wouldn't mind but she's a bridemaid which means she would be standing next to me in pictures and sitting next to me. she told me it is not about the price and she doesn't want to take them out and that heat can damage her hair i told her i respect her decision but she is no longer invited to my wedding UNLESS she changes her hairstyle (i'm honestly willing to re-invite her but only as a guest)

my friends opinions are divided some think i have the right to request that because it is my wedding and others think that telling my bridesmaids to wear certain hairstyles is too controlling. i'm really stressed about my wedding and i don't want to ruin it before it even happens.

AITA FOR TELLING MY FRIEND TO CHANGE HER HAIR? ######

Response:
 YTA:  As a black woman i think you are a complete racist asshole.  Black people hair is not like white people hair. We cannot wear the same styles as you because it is not healthy for our hair. Just like white people shluldnt be wearing certain black hair  styles because your hair is too weak.  At this point I hope she cuts contact with  your toxic  and racist behind.

Also do you know how long it takes to get our hair dreads to lock. It’s a long time consuming process. It’s requires specific hair products and money if you pay someone to retwist them. How dare you demand that she basically waste her time, and effort and money to get dreads. Dreads are a beautiful black style that is professional and classy.

Thank you all for the awards!!!! ######


Prompt:
Am I an asshole if I ask my sister to not come out to our parents two days before my birthday?

My sister is a new baby trans woman. She just started going to a doctor and taking steps to become the woman she is. I've been her support since she came out to me, and have even paid for doctors visits and contributed to her GoFundMes.
It is not safe for her to come out to our parents and will result in all kinds of shit. Including her needing to find immediate housing. Our parents are horrible people and will kick her out. I was abused by them for years and years before I moved out and severely limited contact with them. They don't even know I'm queer or that I've moved in with my partner- nor will they support that. She still lives at home.
She JUST started hormones and has decided that she wants to come out to them. I fully support this and have told her that I will stand with her and she can stay with me and my partner if needed.
She just texted me today and said that she wants to come out to them, and I was excited until she told me the date. Two days before my birthday. I'm kind of hurt by the erasure of my birthday, even though I don't celebrate with the rest of our family. My birthday is important to me, and is a day that I take for myself. This is also the first birthday I'll be celebrating with my partner.
I made a huge deal of her birthday, giving her a first birthday party and taking a day off work. I really want to support her and keep supporting her, but it feels kinda jerky to do this two days before my birthday. Especially when she knows it's important to me.
Am I an asshole if I tell her I'd prefer another day? There's no significance to the day for her at all, other than she randomly picked it and wants to jump into this full tilt. ######

Response: YTA; it's a birthday, not birthweek. Why do so many 'adults' feel entitled to long, drawn-out recognition of their birthday? ######


Prompt:
My (27M) girlfriend (25 F) the other night mentioned she was thinking of getting a piercing below her lip. I pretty much just said "ok" as I am not into piercings and didn't want to encourage her to get one nor did I want to stop her as it is her choice ultimately.

She asked me what I thought about it and I decided to be honest and I said "personally I think most piercings are trashy." She got upset which didn't surprise me. We had an argument and she kept asking me how piercings are trashy. I said "sticking pieces of metal in your body isn't attractive, it's just gross and in my opinion when I see people with piercings they often are the type you see on Jerry Springer or one of those shows."

We haven't been talking since then, and this whole situation is just pissing me off, if my girlfriend wasn't prepared to hear an answer she didn't like, why even ask? ######

Response:
 YTA,

You were N T A until you went for this:

>I said "sticking pieces of metal in your body isn't attractive, it's just gross and in my opinion when I see people with piercings they often are the type you see on Jerry Springer or one of those shows."

That's hella judgemental and goes way beyond stating a preference. ######


Prompt:
She takes apart and stitches denim together. Creating jackets and Jean's, cool products. I don't know if I would consider it a business though, considering she only makes only 1 to 2 products. It's hard work I'll give her that, takes about a week to or two to create a clothing product.

She has my gf model some of the clothes. Probably takes an hour at most to model them, since it's limited stock. And just to throw out there, she's also not a professional model. But she's Uses the photos to post on Instagram to sell. They've been doing this for a while now.

I asked her one time if she was getting any money from doing this side gig. Told me it wasn't about the money. Just left it at. Didn't bring it up again. I was surprised though on why she wouldn't take advantage of this opportunity. Saying no to receiving money???? What! This was when I first found out she was doing this for her sister. Popped in my head recently again. So I went straight to the source and asked her sister, via text. Told me "I'm her employer plus we mutually agreed on something regarding that topic". Just left her on"Read". Didn't think she needed a response back.

I got called out for trying to "undermine" lol. I just feel like my gf needs to throw some pride away and take what you deserve. If it wasn't her sister I bet she would want some compensation back.... Am I wrong? Trying to look out for both. What happens if the "business" blows up, will she then want to get paid? So many questions.. ######

Response: YTA, your sisters relationship with her sister is not impacting you and not your business. You asked and were told to butt out, this was a boundary your girlfriend put up that you had zero respect for. It doesn’t take her long and helps her sister out, maybe that’s enough for her. ######


Prompt:
My (16f) sister (22F) graduated college this year, and came back home to live with us in the gap year between college and med school. She doesn't have a car or a license; she got her permit twice but "forgot" to get her license before it expired.

While she's home, my dad told her she has to get a job, at a lab, doctors office, etc. She's been applying and got a 9-5 job in a lab in a big city nearby. The city's about 90 minutes or 2 hours away if she uses public transport. The station is in the next city over, and since she doesn't have a license, she expects her mommy to drive her every morning and bring her back at night. This would require our mom to get up at 6:30 and then drop everything at 4:30 to go pick her up.

My sister sees absolutely no problem with this. It's her "dream job" and so of course her mother will want to support her! I kind of blew up at her and told her she was being a selfish bitch, expecting our mom to cater to her whims. She's gotten a job in this town, for God's sake, but no, she just has to go to the city. If she had her own car I wouldn't even care, but she's delusional if she thinks mom has nothing better to do than drive her around.

My sister yelled at me and accused me of not caring about her dreams or whatever the fuck she came up with, and I told her to get her head out of her ass and stop treating our mom like her chauffeur. AITA? ######

Response: YTA, your parents are more than capable of setting their own boundaries. If this job is good for your sisters career path then they will probably want to drive her. If you want more attention for yourself just ask them. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is 17 and ever since she was 11, she's had an entrepreneurial spirit. She would setup stands, get in trouble at school for sealing things to classmates, etc. It's never really been a problem.

Recently she's been working really hard on some side hustles along with her job. I didn't really understand what she was doing but thought it was just a little extra money on the side.

One day she sat me down and should me her paypal account. The balance read somewhere in the excess of $150,000.

I was absolutely floored by it, I won't get much into it but I interrogated her and made sure it wasn't anything illegal. Other than her having to lie about her age, the money was clean. Then I took all the money and put it into a savings account. I'm going to use some of it to pay for college and the rest goes to me and my wife.

My daughter is upset that I took all the money. But I just feel like I made the responsible choice. She doesn't know what to do with all that money. From now on her mother and I will be closely monitoring her accounts and take all money that comes to. But AITA? ######

Response: YTA, you're a thief and you just destroyed any trust your daughter had in you. ######


Prompt:
So yesterday was my roommate's birthday, and we live in a college dorm together. We spent the whole day hanging out and concluded the night by smoking a joint together with another friend. We all got really high, and she went to go fuck this guy she's seeing. Me and the mutual friend stayed up for a while and talked till we were both exhausted.

The mutual friend left, and I got into bed and started settling down. Then my roommate and her male friend came back into our room to watch a TV show. She knows I'm a super deep sleeper, and I reiterated the point to tell her that they didn't have to whisper, especially since it was her birthday. I wished them goodnight then eventually fell asleep to the sounds of them laughing at what was on TV.

This afternoon when we were talking she told me about her night, slipping in there that she had had sex with him in our room last night and kicked him out before I woke up. I didn't indicate that anything was wrong, because I didn't want to ruin the casual mood we were having. However, I became really uncomfortable. I wasn't awake for it, and had she asked, I probably would have said that was fine. But she didn't, and it sort of feels nonconsensual to me.

I just texted her saying that it made me uncomfortable, and she hasn't responded yet. She's become a really close friend to me this past month, but that sort of made me lose some of my trust. Am I the asshole for reacting this way? ######

Response: YTA, you said that they could make noise and it didn't wake you up. They did nothing wrong. ######


Prompt:
I have 3 kids. My 7 year old son, my 6 year old son and my 7 year old daughter.

We went to visit My mother in law who blatantly prefers boys over girls. When we got to her house she said we had presents and the kids got all excited. She got my oldest son a remote control car, my youngest a 30 dollar lego set, and my daughter a literal TOOTHBRUSH. My daughter was reasonably upset and spent time alone for the evening.

Now I know that my daughter LOVES Legos, compared to my son who plays with them but doesn't like them nearly as much as her. So on our way home, I gave his toy to my daughter due to him having MANY Lego sets. He was unhappy for a few days but is over it.

My husband is on my side, but crazy grandma McGee is going full Karen Krazy. AITA? ######

Response: YTA, you just punished your son for MIL behavior.  Buy daughter a new toy but more importantly tell MIL if she pulls this crap she will not be seeing her grand-kids  Then follow up! ######


Prompt:
I have a dog that I brought into my marriage. Love him to death, he has always been my right hand man.

Now my wife and I have two amazing little girls, 3 and 6, light of our lives. Recently we found out that our eldest is allergic to dogs. So much so, that she’d have to be drugged daily just to be around the dog. It’s not fair to her and we’ve made the hard choice to rehome, but are doing extreme vetting.

We are very close with our neighbors down the road, another family of four with two older kids. The kids have actually walked our dog while we’re on vacation and the daughter babysits our girls. I told the daughter that we were rehoming our dog the last time she was over and that night her dad called. He said he wanted to take my dog and offered to let me see him whenever.

My wife and I discussed it and we just think it’d be too hard on our girls. They love our dog but now one can’t be around him without a severe reaction (we keep the dog in the finished basement for now) and I feel like it’d be super hard for them to see the dog in the neighborhood but not be able to go near it or touch it. I told my neighbor and he was a bit miffed. He said that I was looking for a good home, they have a good history with dogs, etc.   He even offered to pay rehoming fees.

We still haven’t found anyone else willing to take him but I’m still leaning towards no to our neighbors. Am I an ass? ######

Response: YTA, you had an awesome choice for the dog and didn't take it? Once you've decided to re-home it's about the dogs well being, not your kids. And I'm sure seeing the dog would be fine, it'd probably be better than never seeing it again. ######


Prompt:
Hear me out pls!!

My (20M) girlfriend (20F) had started a facebook page about a year ago. She posts her own memes, random texts and art on it. It was initially not a problem and I was proud of her, even supported her by liking, commenting and sharing her posts to my page that was bigger at the time.

Recently her page gained a lot of attention and eventually surpassed my page's following. She started posting a lot more and she has been interacting with her audience 24/7. Since then she has stopped paying attention to me and will always be on her phone, replying to me with one or two words like "haha nice" or "okay". We still go on dates (weekly) that she usually plans, but she will still take up her phone every 1.5h or so.

Last weekend she brought cookies for me & my family and she planned on staying the entire weekend. During this weekend she kept picking up her phone and going to her page. At one point she went to talk to my parents and left her phone in my room and I saw the opportunity. I went to her FB and deleted the page & her profile so she can't recover the page.

She was PISSED when she noticed what i had done. I tried explaining that I was freeing her from social media obsession, but she didn't understand. She took her stuff and went home and hasn't talked to me since then, which is making me think i might have fcked up.

So, reddit....AITA?? ######

Response: YTA, you freed her of your relationship. ######


Prompt:
My friend recently lost 100 pounds, a mile stone she’s been looking forward to for a long time after an extended bout with illness that precluded weight loss.

She’s as excited as I’ve ever seen her about anything and the day she passed the 100 milestone she went out and bought a lot of crop tops and bikinis and started posting lots of #TransformationTuesday photos and was very excited.

The thing is, she’s still not actually thin. She’s still a size 12 or 14, and her skin is very rough and discoloured from the rapid weight gain and subsequent loss. People are really liking her photos more out of pity than excitement for her.

The 100 pounds was an arbitrary place marker. She hadn’t really earned the ability to wear that style of clothing. If I were posting photos in clothes that really didn’t suit me, and I had no idea, I’d want a friend to do the hard thing and tell me. So I let her know these things actually still didn’t look good on her (but that there are plenty of clothes do that do.)

She was really upset and asked what I meant and I said it was awesome she’d lost a lot of weight but until she lost a lot more she should still cover up so there weren’t photos floating around she’d regret later, and she should be proud of her scars her in private, but it’s not something other people necessarily want to see, so she should post pretty pictures of herself.

I didn’t relish in telling her that, but, again, if the tables were turned I would want someone to tell me because it was just getting embarrassing. But our other friends are really mad at me and saying I had no right to comment if she didn’t ask me for my opinion.

I think they were being bad friends by letting her live in that delusion, because eventually she would realize she was dressing thin when she wasn’t thin. But I also hate seeing her not feel good about herself and her big accomplishment now. AITA? ######

Response: YTA, you don’t have to “earn” a style of clothing. If wearing crop tops makes her feel good and she likes how she looks in them then she gets to wear them. ######


Prompt:
So my GF technically has an account with Disney+. Someone ended up creating an account using her email address (it wasn't the account creator's fault, it was a fuck up on Gmail's end). She's never used it because she has no interest, and I didn't either until recently.

Some context from my GF: "About a year ago I started getting a strange series of emails from various companies claiming that I had signed up for services and made purchases under different names from all different places. For example, a man used my email to purchase a jersey from a Phillies game, another woman in Ohio signed up for Chipotle Rewards a few months later with my email, and a few months after THAT I received an email that someone had signed up for Disney+ using my email. After extensive googling and trying to find the source of the problem I haven’t been able to find any explanation, aside from possibly a mistake on Google’s end. I don’t use the accounts and don’t touch them for the most part, but after I logged into Disney+ I double checked and sure enough there’s my email under account information, with almost no other information about the actual account holder aside from a linked credit card and an annual subscription paid in full."

So, onto the moral dilemma. Hamilton comes to Disney+ on July 3rd and I really, really, really want to watch it. My GF doesn't want me to give money to Disney as a corporation and promised to pirate it for me, but I'm impatient and jokingly threatened to get a one-month subscription. Then she mentioned the account and everything I've said before. As a joke, I was like, "go ahead and change the password so it can be our accout now" and after some convincing, she did it.

Now I'm sitting on my ill-gotten Disney+ account and reviewing my misdeeds. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA, you did not pay for it. You should've informed them about the mistake and made your own.

Add: This is why I dont use gmail nor hotmail. ######


Prompt:
I just casually happen to be a gay person of color who happens to be with a really white American man. I don't even mean spicy white, I mean... Straight up Nordic. He is blinding white.

I'm biracial and I include sunscreen as part of my every day life. My boyfriend NEVER uses it. And with his skin color, I get anxious when he steps out on a sunny day. I've tried to use spray on sunscreens for convenience, sunscreen in small tubes, all sort of formulations. When we hang out, I will randomly produce a bottle of sunscreen and start to apply it to to his face, arms, etc. At first he was patient with me, but now he gets really annoyed. He asked me to stop. Sometimes I still produce a bottle and try to apply. Now he waves me away as he gets quit annoyed, even upset.

Am I the asshole for overriding his attitude and still apply sunscreen even when he's not in the mood? I just want him to be healthy, cancer free, and happy for the long term! I'm actually conflicted. I am not entirely sure what to do, sorry! ######

Response: YTA, you can't mother him. The longer you're together, the more appropriate it is to take the "I don't want you do get skin cancer because I want you to live a long life" approach. But it's way out of line to apply it without his consent like he's a two year old. ######


Prompt:
So we’ve been staying with my parents for five months. After about four months they said we had to go, but I pointed out that they legally couldn’t make us leave because we were considered tenants under the law. Both of my parents just snapped.

My dad went down and filed the papers but they want us out before the court date. When they realized we weren’t leaving they began banging on the door all hours of the night and verbally abusing us. They scream the worst things imaginable and make sure we can’t sleep. They have been enlisting family members and a couple friends, so they can take a break and there will always be someone to abuse us.

I can’t sleep. There is constant noise. Last night my parents slept and at my uncles house and my aunt and uncle took the night shift, so they are at least getting some rest. I can’t even try to go to the bathroom without someone chasing me down the hall berating me.

I just couldn’t take it. My parents came home this morning and my dad took my breakfast and threw it away. I left and said I’d sleep in the car. I tried to convince my wife but she says she isn’t going to let them win. I begged her to come but then I just left. She called me crying an hour ago, still refusing to leave, but she says they blocked her car in and won’t let her leave to buy groceries. She is really mad at me and says we are supposed to be a team and I’m being selfish. ######

Response:
 YTA, you and your wife.  They let you stay with them, then when they want you to leave, you pull some legal-ease and refuse to go?

Of course they’re making your stay awful, and if your wife refuses to leave, that’s on her.

Your poor parents. ######


Prompt:
It's literally 5 minutes of music and 5 minutes of commercials. I don't understand it, so I asked my roommate why she got a radio when she can just get Spotify. She said, "Because I wanted to." I asked her again because that isn't really a valid answer. She said that again. I asked her once again, to which she says, "I'm the only one listening to it, so it doesn't matter." I told her she was being defensive for no reason, and she went on about how she doesn't owe me a reason for buying things, and that it'd be pointless to explain radio because "nobody ever understands" (is she 14?).

AITA? I feel like the fact that she can't even give me a logical answer just says she knows I have a good point, but you can't ever ask her about her hobbies because she thinks she's being bullied. ######

Response: YTA, why do you care? You're not "asking about her hobbies," you're berating her choices, accusing her of being "defensive" when she stands up to you, and then coming on Reddit to ask people to validate your poor treatment of your roommate. ######


Prompt:
I (19F) got my boyfriend(20M) of 3 years a switch back in January as a gift. We're both university students so money is kinda tight, but I saved up and I was finally able to buy it for him because he'd been talking about it for about a year. It was $600 for the switch, a game and the tax, so it wasn't exactly a small gift but he was so happy so it was worth it. Fast forward eight months and he mentions that he told his friend he would lend it to him for a few days to finish a game that he had started way back while they still lived together at university. I was a little bit upset when he told me after he already told his friend because I'm just... not fond of this idea. It doesn't help that I don't exactly like or trust this specific friend. But I also just don't like the idea of him lending something that I spent months saving up for, but maybe I'm being too overprotective and controlling. Because on the other hand, I understand that I gave it to him as a gift so it's his property and he can do as he wishes with it. Furthermore, it's one of his best friends and he trusts him alot. But when I asked him if he had asked his friend if he would pay to replace it if it was damaged but he says he doesn't need to ask cause that's not gonna happen.

So Reddit, am I the asshole if I ask my boyfriend not to lend the switch I bought to his friend? He proof read this post so it's not biased; we agreed we would let Reddit decide. ######

Response: YTA, when you buy someone a gift it’s their property, and you can’t tell them what to do with it. ######


Prompt:
I (18M) was in a pub in Paris France last weekend, and was having a good conversation with a girl I'd just met.

The bartender came around and said that they'd be closing in 10 minutes, but I didn't want to leave, so I thought to myself that if I ordered two pints for myself, he couldn't kick me out as I had still had drinks. So I order my beers, the bartender says You heard me say we're closing right ? I say yeah and he shrugs.

10 minutes later he comes and asks us to leave. I tell him I still have drinks, and he gives me a plastic cup.

I tell him no way, I'm a paying customer, I want to finish my drinks. He says in broken english "Either you take your beer to take away or I throw it away but in any case you're leaving."

I told him no way I am a customer and I will stay and finish my drink.

He then fucking knocked the glass out of my hand and fucking put his face super close to mine and told me in a super threatening way to leave. I didn't want to cause a scene in front of the girl so I did, but I left a very bad review on google. My roomate who is a bartender says I was a dick, but the way I see it he served me and therefore has to wait for me to be ready to leave I am a paying customer. ######

Response: YTA, what do you think ‘closing time’ means, it most certainly doesn’t mean order two drinks and sip them over the next 5 hours whilst the wait staff want to go home. It means we are closing, finish the hell up and go home / somewhere else. ######


Prompt: I was recently spending time with some old friends from high school. A girl who I didn’t know too well was there. I knew she had gotten pregnant while we were in school and had then gone off to college. We were talking (her kid had not been mentioned), and I asked how old he was now and how often she sees him. As soon as I asked how often she sees him, her tone completely changed. She rolled her eyes and said “bold of you to assume I didn’t keep my child. Maybe you would have given up yours but I love my son and love raising him.” I never assumed she gave him up for adoption or anything. But since she went away for college, I did assume her parents were taking care of him. I shouldn’t have assumed anything but she misunderstood what I asked. I didn’t bother to explain and laughed and just said “okay.” And avoided her the rest of the night. I told some other people who were there and they said I should explain what I meant but I wanted to enjoy my time. Was I an ahole here? ######

Response: YTA, what a rude ass question with built in implications. ######


Prompt:
I'm 18 (turning 19 in November). Someone posted some art in a fandom community I am in late last year and it was great so I made a twitter account to follow the artist. Big-ish account. He's 24 (almost 25) and I quickly developed a crush on him. He's so nice and handsome and humble, replies to every tweet and dm, that kind of person. He had a convo with him but heres the problem: he doesnt talk to minors at all (in dms anyway). He also made this tweet that dating under 21s is weird for him because he's old and his not even being legally able to drink would freak him out (personal preference?). It made me sad but it is what it is.

I dmed him about something (fandom related) in March or so and we started talking. He asked my age and pronouns as he does with everyone and I don't know what possessed me but I told him I'm 22. Well, we did become friends, I kind of flirted, he flirted back, we binged tv shows together and got very close. He asked me out in early June and now we're happily dating. Problem is, I feel like an asshole because I feel like I'm lying to him. I talked to a friend about it and she basically called me an asshole as well and told me to "leave this poor man alone" but he's so good and nice and talented. I know he'll be mad if I tell him the truth but I only did it for my own happiness. Am I an asshole? ######

Response: YTA, were you planning to keep this up for years potentially?? ######


Prompt:
My parents invited My brother (22M) for dinner as we hadn't seen him in a while. I (20F) was weirded out because he brought his roommate to a family dinner. Halfway through the night he drops the 'boyfriend' bomb. See my best friend had asked my brother on a date (just the earlier that day!) and he said yes. She's has terrible insecurity, confidence, body image issue and has bad anxiety so that was a big thing for her. Now I was finding out he was gay and had a boyfriend. I insulted him and called him names (not homophobic slurs) because I couldn't believe he would do that to someone I consider a sister.

He said he felt really put on the spot when she asked and people where around and he didn't want to embarrass her. He said he was going to explain to her tomorrow that he was gay, which is why he was coming out to us now. He'd already told his boyfriend and I made him call her up right then and let her down.

My mom said I was too harsh on him after just coming out and in front of his boyfriend. ######

Response:
 YTA, were you even listening to him?

Your shy friend with body issues and anxiety got up enough courage to ask your brother out in a public setting.  He said yes to not embarrass her and planned to explain in private.  There is NOTHING wrong with that.  I have the feeling you're mad he didn't tell her he was gay then, but that may have embarrassed her further, and you would be pissed either way.

So, what are you pissed about now?  That he brought his boyfriend to dinner?  Look, would you rather hear about him being gay from him, bringing his bf to a nice, family dinner, or after he told your friend?  Then you'd be pissed that he couldn't tell the family first.

Like, seriously, your brother tried to do everything right, has shown a lot of courtesy, and you're just being an out right asshole. You owe him an apology. ######


Prompt:
While I (37) was an expat in Dubai for my business, I met my current wife (27).

I already had a daughter from a relationship. Her mom is not in the picture. She gave up all custody when the baby was born.

I’m ethnically Middle Eastern but grew up in the US.

My wife however grew up in Dubai. Culturally, Dubai is very hierarchical.

It is the norm for Arabs ( which she is) to be ushered to the front of the line ahead of everybody else. People of higher perceived social ranking are served first at establishments and people not dressed in the latest fashion are glared at.

It is also the norm for people to get the attention of service workers by shouting “ You!”

So as a result of her high end upbringing she generally dislikes and is horrified the way people here interact with service staff.

We have just hired a new housekeeper. My daughter is up my wife’s ass because she doesn’t address her by name and walks away when the housekeeper tries to crack jokes with her.

She’s only here for a couple hours a day and my wife doesn’t like it when people outside the family use the bathrooms.

Yesterday the housekeeper asked if she could use the bathroom. My wife said “ I’d prefer you not.”

My daughter starts saying my wife asks like a slave driver and starts yelling about her classist “ bullshit.”

I ended up sending the housekeeper home for the day. I told my daughter as punishment she could do all the housekeeping and that afterwards she was not allowed to hang out with her friend.

AITA? My daughter was being culturally insensitive and my wife already is dealing with moving from her home. ######

Response: YTA, together with your wife. She moved out of her country, and she needs to learn to respect people. This isn't about cultural differences but about your wife being rude to those she perceives as lesser. I'm proud of your daughter for speaking up. ######


Prompt:
So my GF technically has an account with Disney+. Someone ended up creating an account using her email address (it wasn't the account creator's fault, it was a fuck up on Gmail's end). She's never used it because she has no interest, and I didn't either until recently.

Some context from my GF: "About a year ago I started getting a strange series of emails from various companies claiming that I had signed up for services and made purchases under different names from all different places. For example, a man used my email to purchase a jersey from a Phillies game, another woman in Ohio signed up for Chipotle Rewards a few months later with my email, and a few months after THAT I received an email that someone had signed up for Disney+ using my email. After extensive googling and trying to find the source of the problem I haven’t been able to find any explanation, aside from possibly a mistake on Google’s end. I don’t use the accounts and don’t touch them for the most part, but after I logged into Disney+ I double checked and sure enough there’s my email under account information, with almost no other information about the actual account holder aside from a linked credit card and an annual subscription paid in full."

So, onto the moral dilemma. Hamilton comes to Disney+ on July 3rd and I really, really, really want to watch it. My GF doesn't want me to give money to Disney as a corporation and promised to pirate it for me, but I'm impatient and jokingly threatened to get a one-month subscription. Then she mentioned the account and everything I've said before. As a joke, I was like, "go ahead and change the password so it can be our accout now" and after some convincing, she did it.

Now I'm sitting on my ill-gotten Disney+ account and reviewing my misdeeds. AITA? ######

Response: YTA, this is simply theft. Your GF too is an AH. ######


Prompt:
 I married my husband 2 years ago and my relationship with my stepson (12) has never been well. We tried everything but nothing seems to work. His behavior towards me is so terrible, he shouts at me, swears me, and calls me worst “mother” ever.

His 13th birthday is tomorrow and since my daughter (7F) birthday is only 10 days apart we usually celebrate them both in the same day (they are fine with it). I asked my stepson who he has invited and that's when he facepalms me and tells me that he has already answered this question before in the worst tone ever. This is where I lost it and told him that because of his attitude I am going to cancel his birthday tomorrow. At first he didn’t believe me since it’s not the first time I intend to punish him without actually doing it in the end. But this time I was serious, and to prove it to him I called his grandparents and told them his birthday got cancelled. He started crying begging me not to cancel but I told him it’s too late.

I got berated by his grandparents because of this and told me that I don’t have the rights to cancel his birthday. As his mother I am pretty sure I can do what I want though but they weren’t listening to me. They even told me that tomorrow they are coming to his birthday with the gifts even after I told them not to bother because I won’t open the door.

AITA here? ######

Response: YTA, this is a massive overreaction. You say he didn't believe you at first because you don't usually go through with your punishments?  I think you need to learn about how to consistently and proportionately discipline a child.  You say the relationship has been terrible but the tone of your post suggests you put the blame on him.  It is YOUR job to make the effort to have a good relationship. ######


Prompt:
(23m) Just started dating this girl (21) for maybe two months now and she came over to hang  yesterday. Her cycles are irregular due to her birth control and her periods can range from a month to several months.

Accidents happen and she bled right through her underwear through her jeans. I gave her a spare of my boxers and some sweatpants that she could wear home. She asked if I would just throw her underwear in the wash with all my other clothes and she would come get them tomorrow when I see her again, I refused.

We got into a big argument on why I should wash them for her. I wasn’t going to have a blood soaked underwear mixed in with my clothes. It was gross and disgusting and she could take it for herself. Eventually she just got mad and threw it in the trash. ######

Response:
 Yta, theyre being cleaned? The blood is dry? You dont think if eventually you lived together your clothes would be washed together?

If you cut yourself would you separate those clothes from the rest of the laundry?

If you want to be with a woman, you're going to have to deal with a woman. If periods gross you out be with a man, then there will be no periods. ######


Prompt:
My sister is almost 30, still lives at home and doesn't have a real job. She wants to become a successful   Etsy "couture home decor artist."

Basically she wants buy Made in China junk, decorate it and sell it at 900% markup. I told her Pier One already beat her to it and they're going out of business. Faced with the reality she was going to have to get a real job, she "reinvented" her "business" as a "social justice home decor art." The junk (picture frames, vases, candles, wine bottles, baskets, Chia pets, pet "fashion," and gnomes) she wants to sell is going to be designed with rainbow flags, images of diversity, etc.

She thinks her "art" will fly off the shelves but has no money to invest. My parents lied and said they're broke so she hit me up. She told me she needed roughly $20,000 to start and needed it quickly. That made me laugh. I told her I'd burn $20,000 than invest in her shitty "art." ######

Response:
 YTA, the way the story is told. I agree with your decision to not invest. But why be so harsh? You could have come up with 100 reasons that you can’t spare any cash, or told her in a much kinder way that you don’t think this is a good business venture. The way you did it, you sound like you ranted, and you simply wanted to hurt her.

If you are trying to encourage her to leave home and get a real job, there are other ways to deal with that (and in any event you did not state that this was your intention). ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend informed me the other day that she was going on a trip with the people mentioned above. She said she was taking our son with her and didn’t mention inviting me, hence the title “girls weekend.” I said, word for word, in a smart-ass tone “take pictures of my son when he first sees the ocean.” I told her I wanted to keep our son with me at home and I have never kept him more than 8 hours while she’s at work. Covid is part of my concern.

Backstory: I have been a constant source of stress for my girlfriend. A 12 year drug problem of which 6 years I’ve been with her. I’ve just recently quit the drugs this year and have replaced it with smoking weed and when I’m out of weed I drink. We argue when I drink bc she doesn’t like that either and says I’m a “mean drunk.” ######

Response: YTA, stunning she doesn't trust you to keep her kid when you've been "sober" less then a year and still sound like you smoke and drink a ton. Seriously if you want to ACTUALLY be a fucking parent then stop drinking and smoking altogether cause you haven't proven you can handle it. ######


Prompt:
I have a very strained relationship with my husband's family. MIL has a "medical condition" that she doesn't wish to elaborate on, and obviously she doesn't have to, but she throws temper tantrums like an actual child. I only witnessed one but it was very disturbing, she was full on hyperventilating and flailing uncontrollably on the floor. I thought she was going to pass out. Her kids just ignore her and say she's always been like that. FIL just tries to bribe her and then when she stops crying lulls her to sleep like a child. I was totally horrified and never wanted to see something like that again.

We have a three year old son, and MIL has a lot of restrictions because I don't trust her. She likes things all or nothing and pretty much ignores him. She will be nice at family gatherings, but really wants nothing to do with him. FIL doesn't really seem to care about anyone in the family but her, so he just goes along with what she wants. My son has speech issues and has been getting help. He really just started talking comprehensibly and MIL said she doesn't want to be called grandma because it makes her uncomfortable and she'd rather be called by her first name. I know this has nothing to do with age/vanity, and she is pretty much saying she doesn't think of him as her grandchild.

I gave her an ultimatum that she will be called grandma or we (me and my son, not my husband) will go no contact. She just shrugged and FIL immediately got upset and said we'd been cold to her for years over something she can't control. My husband says i'm in the wrong and how can i ask her to respect my boundaries when I'm not respecting her wanting to be called by her first name. ######

Response: YTA, sorry. She sounds like an awful person, but she has the right to choose the name she wants to be called by, you don’t get to make that choice. ######


Prompt:
My roommate has this weird hobby where she listens to FM radio for hours on end. She has several radios, and sets up all these things so that she can pull in as distant a station as possible. Today, she brought home this $200 thing that's the size of my desktop. She was raving about how "good" of a deal it was, even though you can get a radio for $5 these days, not considering that she's paying $200 to sit through commercials and crappy music. I told her that $200 is a little much for a radio, and that it's strange to fork over so much money when she can stream radio for free. She said, "Well, I'm very happy with my purchase, and that's what matters." I told her that she already has like 4 radios and doesn't need another one, and she said, "I'll spend my money however I want." I told her that I'm just giving my opinion, and she said, "Your opinion doesn't matter because you're not using it." I told her that was a little condescending, and she accused me of tone policing and getting off on telling women how to spend their money.

AITA? I can't imagine spending half of my paycheck on something you can do for free with a phone app, and she didn't need to accuse me of sexism when gender had nothing to do with it. ######

Response: YTA, she didn’t ask for your opinion. After she politely tried to disengage you kept giving your unsolicited opinion. Let people enjoy their hobbies and mind your own business. ######


Prompt:
This girl and I (both 20 years old) had a thing during this whole quarantine thing. She sent me photos of herself of her doing different things and videos. Well right now she kind of hates me so were probably not going to be dating or anything again.

She's very paranoid that I'm going to leak her stuff (I have no idea why) and wants me to delete them and for them to be completely off my icloud.

She wants me to send video proof of deleting them off recently deleted on my icloud, that's how paranoid she is. I don't really want too delete them, incase I want to look at them for whatever reason. She sent them too me, I made a promise that I wouldn't leak them and I won't I'm not like that, but I don't want to delete them.

She's calling me a creep and a perv now... when she consented to sending me these things, and begging me to delete. ######

Response: YTA, please respect her and delete them. Assuming you mean there are nudes etc in there, She’s obviously worried about people looking at them and doing something sexual when she doesn’t want them to, and you’ve essentially confirmed that’s what you are going to do. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is a 16F.

She has recently started practicing witchcraft at her father's and has told me about it.

I do not like this AT ALL. It goes against our religion (I am a Devout Catholic). I have told her she isn't allowed to practice it and she then tells me that the BIBLE involves witchcraft??? She also gives me things about Pagan vs. Catholic. I have repeatedly told her I will not allow her to worship the devil and that if she keeps up this contract with Satan, she will be going to Hell.

Recently, she told me the real reason why it helps her, she has Autism and ADHD, and tells me it helps her. I told her I still will not allow her to. She cried and told me I care more about my religion than her.  This hurt me a bit. She then told me that if I believe in a "Magic man in the sky" she should be allowed to be pagan. I told her to get out and that I will be scheduling a meeting with the church to talk about this with her.

I forgot to mention that I've already let her have a girlfriend, I don't know what else she wants?

She has stopped talking to me completely, and I dont understand Why? I have had Reddit to monitor my daughter , and I've found this subreddit, after much consideration, I've decided to post, I hope I've done this right. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA, paganism *is* a religion. How would you feel if one of your parents, or anyone for that matter, were to have told you you couldn’t practice Catholicism.

She is absolutely free to practice her faith in anyway she wishes, so long as she isn’t harming others. You say you “don’t know what else she wants” - she wants to practice her religion of choice.

Also, friendly hint, your comment about the girlfriend isn’t helping. It reads as “I’m also a homophobe, but I repress that so I’m such a good mother”. It’s not going to endear you to anyone, rather it just provides another example of how you’ve already let your religion interfere with your daughter’s happiness ######


Prompt:
I am a single dad raising three boys. My middle is 14 (Brian) and from the outside, is the perfect kid. He's a skater/surfer, gets all A's and B's, very good to his younger brother and his friends' parents and teachers really like him.

I have always been very close with him. A couple of years ago, he started having this bad attitude and outbursts that I didn't have with my oldest when he hit puberty. The funny part is that he's, physically, a late-bloomer but very much an emotional teenager. I loosened the leash but drew certain clear boundaries.

I was very sadden to learn that he and his friends were busted smoking weed by another parent over Labor Day. It broke my heart. Apparently, it had been an on-going thing. I don't care what your stance is on weed, 14 year old kids should not be smoking it, period. I guess I was shocked because I would never have thought he was smoking weed. He doesn't think it's a big deal and told me to ground him and to get over it.

His friends have all been put on lockdown. I thought of punishing him more harshly by not taking him to Bora Bora next month. I know he has been looking forward to it since I've announced it. This is once in a lifetime trip for all of us. He would stay with my brother. A lot of people think that's overly harsh and others think it's the best way to correct his attitude and behavior. ######

Response:
 YTA, Only because I don't think the punishment would achieve anything.

He'd miss the trip. Do you imagine he's going to listen to you more once you're back? Obey the rules? Or do you think a kid that's acting out would be MORE likely to act out now that he knows you can just take away 'once in a lifetime' things from him?

Like, how do you expect this to make him behave better? Do you have more things to hold over his head until he's grown? ######


Prompt:
My ex and I have three boys. The middle is 9 and has been dying to go to sleep away camp with his friends (you have to be 9). That shit cost an arm and a leg for three weeks. I paid most of it and two of the weeks came out my custody time.

A few days into camp, he calls me up crying to pick him up. He is home sick and is worried something will happen to our dog or he hates the food or he doesn't want to shower with other kids or he's bored. I told him too bad. I even told the staff not contact my ex if he asks. If he gets pulled out then I do not get a refund and this is the same boy who begged me to send him there. ######

Response:
 YTA, of course.

you paid that money for him to be happy. he is not happy. understand?
it was a waste of money, yes. was it his fault? no no no no.
as a parent you should be prepared to have money go down the drain because of your children, and be prepared to suck it up, and make sure at the end of the day they are happy.

this is the sorta thing that traumatizes people, or begins deep seeded metal issues. ######


Prompt:
Hello everyone, me and my friends are over this situation now but we still argue over who was the true AH. Please help us!

To start, I am a very unreliable person when it comes to time management and showing up on time. I don’t know why I do it. I would even be prepared early at times but as long as I see that I still have some time left, I’ll  stretch it out as much as possible until I’m inevitably late (due to traffic most of the time). I am usually about 15 minutes late to most events but sometimes I’ve been up to an hour late if it’s a group event. I know it’s bad and I have a problem!

That being said, my friends and I had organised to meet up at 5pm. Miraculously, I actually showed up on time but no one else was there. I texted the group chat and didn’t get a reply. After about 30 minutes I am kinda pissed and decided to go home. At about 6:00pm I get a message from my friends who are asking where I was. I told them that I had went home because I had waited for so long and no one was replying. They immediately get angry and explained that they had actually set the group meeting time to 6:00pm because they assumed I would be late as usual. I thought it was a shitty joke and was annoyed that my time was wasted (I know... the irony) but they were even angrier and said that I had ruined the plans for the night.

So Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: YTA, of course. You’re consistently late so your friends told you to meet early so you’d hopefully be on time. It didn’t work, of course, and it’d have been nice had they responded when you text them at 5pm asking where they were. But at the same time, you don’t have a lot of room to be mad about this at all. ######


Prompt:
My birthday was last night. I had come from work and my husband told me happy birthday and we ate some takeout. He brings out a gift and gives it to me, and I say thank you but put it aside to open later. At the time I was relaxing and watching something. My husband gets annoyed that I don't open it then, but I tell him it's still going to be in the box in a while, so I'll open it later. I do eventually open it and say thank you to my husband but he's angry at me over it. He says that if someone gives you a gift and tells you to open it you should open it immediately. I think he just gave it to me at the wrong time. At the time I just wanted to watch my thing.

AITA ######

Response: YTA, obviously. "I just wanted to watch my thing". really? you couldn't stop for five minutes to open the gift he got you? the one that he was clearly excited to give you? ######


Prompt:
I think the title makes it sound weirder than it is but here we go. My boyfriend’s brother is working on his masters and in order to support himself, has an OnlyFans where he posts both solo videos/pictures and videos of him with other men. It might be worth noting that his brother is gay. My boyfriend was open about the fact that his brother did this and didn’t seem ashamed by it. Even though I was morbidly curious, I never seeked out his videos.

Fast forward to me meeting his brother and building a bit of a friendship with him. We get to talking about twitter one day and he ends up following me. I end up following him back. His twitter I would say is 3/4 standard tweets and 1/4 teasers for his only fans. This includes snippets of videos, naked pictures, and close up pictures of his regions. When these videos come up on my feed, I admittedly watch them. I’ve never masturbated to them. I just find them interesting. I usually will stop, watch the snippet, and then keep scrolling like normal. I hadn’t thought much of it but when my boyfriend found out that I looked at them at all he freaked out. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. It’s just kind of part of following his brother on twitter. But, I told him I would unfollow him if it would make him more comfortable. But, he seems more upset on principle than anything. I really don’t think it’s that big of a deal since I’ve never masturbated to it nor do I have any desire to.

AITA for watching porn of his brother when it’s just part of following him on social media? ######

Response: YTA, nothing sexual with partner's close family and friends is an assumed boundary ######


Prompt:
i (46m) have a daughter (19f) who has anxiety. She was fine both socially and mentally before, but around age 12/13 something happened to her. I'm guessing its her starting high school that made her start having it, because she'd skip class constantly and fake being sick all the time. This made her social life crumble and me and her argue all the time.

She currently still lives with us, doesn't have any friends or a job. She mostly spends time on the computer. She gets "panic attacks" from needing to things like make a phone call, or awnser the door. Most of this anxiety seems to come her not wanting to grow up and being scared of the world. I was first symathetic, but its gotten to the point where she's a freeloader who doesn't try to do anything. I don't hate her, but i wish she'd move out so me and my wife could have some time where we don't focus all of our time and attention on her anymore, but on each other.

Yesterday, she went to a job interview and she was understandably nervous. I was too when i got my first job, and i tried to make her know she can do it. I was really happy she decided to try and become independent, and hoped this would to a chain of events making us free from her.

It went great, until she called crying and said she apprently was to scared to continue the interview and ran away when she said to the interviewer she just needed to go to the bathroom. this was the last straw for me. I yelled at her saying its time to grow up and she can't let her fears control her, and she has to get a job or i'm kicking her out of the house. I was tired of letting her rule the household, just because her mind a little fucked up. She got really upset when she came home, and wouldn't talk to me. My wife (who coddles her quite alot) got really mad at me, saying to me that she needs time. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA, not only for your horrendous attitude towards anxiety but for the whole “pill free”, “natural remedies” spiel in the comments. I doubt that’s helping your daughter.

If you don’t want to take medicine yourself that’s on you - you take the consequences - but you suck for projecting that attitude into your daughter.

If you ever break your leg, will you eschew hospitals and treat it “naturally”, seeing as apparently nature’s way is so much better and kinder than that of modern medicine? Or, heavens forbid, if your daughter ever contracted a serious infection (ie sepsis), would you just shrug and go, “well, nature will take care of it!”

How is this any different? Not everyone suits anxiety medication, but for some it’s the difference between functionality and not.

EDIT: so apparently you’ll take pills when something is “serious”. Lol. If you’re going to spout off about “natural remedies”, especially in a mental health context, at least have the courage to implement that principle to its full conclusion. Why would seriousness matter if nature’s way is better? ######


Prompt:
My brother just told everybody at dinner he was having a kid, I said “congrats” and kept eating but everyone started crying tears of joy because it’s their first grandchild and I guess my sister is happy to be an aunt but I didn’t care too much and I just let them have their moment

Then he decided to put me in the spot and say “why aren’t you happy?” I said I’m happy and he said that I didn’t seem happy. I mean did he expect me to be super enthusiastic and praise him for having a kid? I said congrats what more does he want

He said that I should be happy for him and I thought that was a really bitchy thing to do so I said I just don’t give a shit he’s having a baby. Now I’m the bad guy? AITA?

#IMPORTANT EDIT

I’m not denying my judgment, the reason I’m replying to these people is because saying I’m childish are rude and I have the right to defend myself. Saying that I don’t support my brother is a lie and I have the right to defend myself, people saying I don’t love my brother boils my blood and I have the right to defend myself. However

There was one comment that said ESH that went something along the lines of “your brother was an ass but he clearly values your opinion, rather than lashing out and saying you don’t care why not say you just don’t feel the need to cry and jump around”

That’s a valid criticism that doesn’t completely ignore what I stated in the post! ######

Response:
 YTA, not for your initial reaction, but for saying, "I just don’t give a shit he’s having a baby."

If someone said, "I was getting a promotion," or "I just bought a new house," or "I just won the lottery," the obviously human reaction is to share in their happiness and joy.

When you say you don't give a shit, what you're really saying is that you don't give a shit about your brother's happiness.

Incidentally, when you say one word, "congrats," and then go back to what you're doing, you are making it really clear that you don't give two shits about other people. Next time, just tell them to "fuck off" to start so people understand how you actually feel. The nice thing about doing that is that your family will cut you off, and you won't have to worry about them at all! ######


Prompt:
I got engaged recently to the absolute love of my life. Now this relationship was born out of a lot of drama. We met when I was working as an administrative assistant for him, and he was engaged to another woman. There was a lot of back and forth, and no one in the situation was very mature. That's all over and things have been great for the past year.

So I have two sisters, Rose and Diane. At the time this was happening they were both living with our parents, so when I'd come by to see Rose, Diane would overhear a lot of this and she never liked my fiance. She thinks the relationship was inappropriate because he was my boss, and I can see why someone would think that, but I'm going to be completely honest, I've never really had career aspirations. That job was always a temporary means to an end well I looked for a husband. Also she judges him for the cheating, which again I see, but it is none of her business, and she thinks he's too old for me (32 and 24) I've since stopped working and of course Diane doesn't like that either.

Diane has always been outspoken about her political beliefs. That's fine but there is a time and a place, and I don't need to be told how to live my life. Every single time she is around my fiance she has something snarky to say. For example, he was trying to throw Rose into a pool (they're super close) and Diane had to make it an issue of consent, and laughing at a girl screaming is not funny.

I don't need someone in my wedding who doesn't seem to like either of us, and I don't need to listen to this the entire time I am planning, but I know my mom is going to make a big deal out of it. She cares way too much what people think and the truth is I don't want to hurt Diane, but it's out wedding and she doesn't even like him. ######

Response: YTA, not for the bridesmaid thing, but because your general level of assholery supersedes any one specific situation. Also I doubt your sister wants to be a bridesmaid anyway, so this is probably a non-issue and this post is just one big awfulbrag. ######


Prompt:
My wife has always been active on social media - more active than almost anyone else I know - and that has not changed since she got pregnant. If anything, it's worse, and the posts have gotten more frequent.

Once we announced she started taking a weekly photo of her stomach to show her growth, but she posts a tons of other videos and photos of it in addition to the weekly photo. I see them pop up and honestly it makes me uncomfortable. I feel like she's sharing too much, and I don't think it looks good (to me pregnant stomachs look weird). It's also embarrassing for me because all of my family and friends are friends with her too, so they see all of this and I can't help but wonder what they must think to see my wife so exposed.

I have subtly tried to get her to cut back on what she shares and change how she shares it which led to her asking me if didn't like what she was posting. Since she did ask, I admitted everything I posted above but never demanded she stop.

She thinks I am a controlling asshole even though I never demanded she stop or only post things that I felt were appropriate. I feel like I am entitled to an opinion and have a right to be uncomfortable with what she's posting and to share that with her. Beyond that she asked for my opinion, so I don't feel she can describe me as an asshole or controlling for answering her question.

She also didn't like me saying I didn't think a pregnant stomach was something most of the people we know would want to see and was weird looking, but again, I don't feel like having an opinion, even if it's one she doesn't like, makes me an asshole.

Am I wrong and actually the asshole? ######

Response:
 YTA, not for having an opinion, but for expressing your “pregnant bellies look weird, you are embarrassing me with your weird, pregnant stomach, and nobody wants to see that” comments to your wife.

Not everyone has the same hangups that you do about pregnant bellies; this is a “you” thing, and by your not-so-subtle comments, you implied that your wife should be embarrassed for the way her pregnant body looks.

You can ask that your wife not overshare things about you on social media, but from what you describe, she’s sharing things about her and her changing body. You are TA for insinuating that she should feel ashamed or embarrassed by her posts. ######


Prompt:
I was sitting in my wife’s office when she started talking about her friend who was going through a lot, I was sitting and listening.

Some context, my wife has had a wild past and I told her I don’t enjoy stories including men or anything like that. I wouldn’t talk to her about my past like that with her.

So then she said “We’d go out all the time. She was basically my wingman…”

And I said “Ok I’m leaving” and got up and left back to my office, and she followed saying she didn’t mean it

I just ignored her and she walked away.

It’s almost like if I was talking about a friend of mine and said

“Yea I feel for the guy, it’s a shame…we’d party all the time, he was my wingman.”

I mean, why’d she have to mention that?

AITA? ######

Response: YTA, man. I understand not wanting to hear graphic sexual stories involving your wife but hearing the word *wingman* makes you leave..? That’s an *intense* overreaction. You need to realize that your wife’s past doesn’t make her damaged, it makes her who she is. You shouldn’t have married a person whose past makes you so upset. ######


Prompt: So here in Europe, we don't have a culture of tipping. People here unlike America, pay employees a living wage. I work as a pizza delivery courier to have some pocket money and my location has an American customer who's a regular. He is known to tip 5 quids minimum and would sometimes tip 10 pounds on special holidays. At first, when I started it felt weird, getting free money while on the job but later on it got annoying. It feels like he tips because he thinks we're lower class and need his generous gift to survive. Last week, he ordered his weekly meal and when he handed me the tip, I refused and told him this isn't America and that we don't need his charity. He just stared at me like I'm some huge arsehole and when I got back to pick up my second delivery, my manager didn't seem happy. I got scolded and they told me to not come back for two weeks (basically 2 weeks of no work and money). ######

Response: YTA, just because tipping isn't required in the UK hardly means it's unusual. Plenty of people still tip, telling someone to "buzz off" over a tip is massively over-the-top to someone just being kind. ######


Prompt:
Originally it wasn't a big deal, or so I thought, till we went into an argument over it.

I visit this Chinese teahouse about once or twice a month for a dish, in which I pick the ingredients and one of the cooks cooks and mix different spices into a sauce to be added into a soup in front of me.

I always request a specific young man to cook for me because in my opinion he is the best among them, or it may just be that his way of mixing the sauce suit my taste bud the most.

Nothing much changes changes after covid, the only difference is that I need to takeaway instead of dine-in. A few weeks ago I experienced a change of taste in the dish. It wasn't bad, just somehow different and not much to my liking. At once I knew that it wasn't the same person who cooked that dish(due to social distancing rule I had to wait outside and didn't see who cooked my dish).

When I went to the teahouse again yesterday I requested for the same cook and mentioned that they din't get right person to cook my food the previous time.

A young woman came and told me that it was her who cooked my dish the other day, and that she was just as good as the young man. I replied no, I prefer the young man instead and she got visibily angry. Turns out that those 2 cooks are a couple and the young man can no longer cook for me.

I asked why couldn't I request him she told me that we cannot choose who to cook for us from now onwards, and I had been rude and sexist for requesting for her husband all the time.

I had to leave the teahouse empty handed because I didn't really want to eat from anybody else, plus it seems like there was some drama between them that I do not wish to get mixed into, though I am sure going to miss the food there. However, AITA for requesting for a specific person to cook my dish? ######

Response: YTA, it's not cool to make a drama and feel entitled to organizing the restaurant's staff and the way they work. ######


Prompt:
Aita for bringing up the time my girlfriends dad overcooked a steak awhile ago?

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 2 and a half years. We are both 20. For one of the first dinners I had at her house with her parents and her younger sisters, her dad grilled steaks. He was making New York strips and frankly, he burnt the hell out of them. I like my steaks pretty rare and this wasn’t even well done. It was charred and pretty nasty. I didn’t eat all of it, but I tried to muscle through it as best I could.

I have to add that I have a good relationship with her parents, and we joke and laugh and always have a good time. So that’s why the situation I’m about to describe kinda confused me.

Last weekend I was eating dinner there and her dad cooked steaks. We were eating and her mom actually brought up how she thought we had steak and grilled veggies the first time I ate dinner there. I started laughing and asked if I could tell a funny story, and asked the dad not to be offended. This was all in a light hearted tone.

I basically told how the first steaks he cooked were burnt and I really wanted to make a good impression so I ate most of it, but it was really hard. Initially Everyone laughed including her dad but then he got very quiet the rest of dinner and was kind of cold to me when I left. Like no handshake or anything.

I asked my girlfriend about it later and she admitted that he was kinda pissed. Referring to me as a smart ass after I left. I’m not sure how to approach this situation, because I’m kinda thinking I should apologize but than I’m thinking that he called me a smart ass so like he can fuck off. It’s also 2 years later and he’s upset because he made a mistake while cooking? It’s not my fault he burnt them.

Aita? ######

Response: YTA, if you have to ask beforehand for someone not to get offended you usually know that you're going to be offending them. ######


Prompt:
This is a throwaway account. I (20F) was at home three months ago when my mom offed herself. She was a vile woman so I honestly didn't care.

She left completely out of her will and left her estate, vehicles, and everything else to my brother. My brother is a homicide detective and already makes good money.

I had been holding on to her note for the past couple months and the note states that she wants us to always stick together. I brought this up to my brother and asked him if I could have the estate and he told me "no, because it's his property".

I told him that we had to stick together and my brother said that "I wasn't gonna leach off of him the same way I leached off our mom". I was pissed so I tore up the note and threw the scraps at him.

He began crying and wailing loudly. I started to feel bad but I just walked away. He was crying the entire time I was walking away. I left when his wife came into the living room.

He told me over the phone that he was no longer gonna talk to me. He said that I was "evil" and "cold-blooded". So reddit, AITA? ######

Response: YTA, I'm pretty sure this is a troll but if you aren't then you're a mega AH. You hate the woman but you want her money? Your brother makes more money than you so he has to give away the assets he inherited? You're entitled and heartless. Your brother was rightfully awarded his mother's assets due to his unwavering love for his mother. You hated her and didn't love her at all, therefore you earned nothing. I'm glad your brother going NC ######


Prompt:
I was babysitting 2 kids, 11 and 13 years old and I took them to the petting zoo. The goats were having sex and the kids were confused and asked me what they were doing and I tried to change the subject but they kept pestering me so I said they were having sex.

They asked me what sex was so I told them. I didnt go into detail but I just said Male and female animaks, including humans, do that to create babies, the male does it and it makes the female pregnant.

They kept asking more and more questions, I was shocked at this age they didnt know what sex was, so I told them a bit more and left.

Parents found out and fired me and told me it was not my job to teach them that and were fucking pissed. Everyone else says in in the wrong here ######

Response: YTA, I would’ve fired you too. Birds and bees and any questions about religion, heaven/hell, death, you should not be explaining to children that aren’t yours. ######


Prompt:
Title sounds bad but please hear me out

My daughter (Elly) has been doing this thing for the past weeks where she insults herself and expects me and my wife to correct her. Like she'll say she can't eat the dinner we made because she's fat (she's not fat, not even close) and we'll have to go through this song and dance where we have to say no you're not, you're beautiful etc. Honestly, it's getting really annoying.  I've tried talking to her about it and asking if she wants to get therapist but she just asks like I'm crazy and blows me off.

This came to a head yesterday when Elly was telling me how she was excited to see her friends at the beach this weekend. She also did the thing again and went on about how she's also nervous them and her crush seeing her in a swimsuit since she's so "fat and disgusting" (again she's not even close to fat, she's not even overweight). At this point I was done, so I said joking "yeah that's tough, but maybe if you tried eating less you wouldn't have this problem". Elly literally started crying for some reason, and just stormed off.

Later in, she told my wife what happened, and she was pissed at me. She told me I was cruel to our daughter and that I should apologize. I refused and told her (and Elly later) that I was teaching Elly an important lesson, that her sulking like this is very off putting and that her peers are going to find this off putting.

We're still fighting about this, AITA? ######

Response: YTA, I get that you're annoyed but she's 15, insecure, and looking for reassurance. You're her parent, do better. ######


Prompt:
My best friend, Mia, has cystic fibrosis. The average life expectancy for cystic fibrosis is about 37, but Mias doctors don’t think she’ll get to 30. When we were kids and her CF wasn’t something I was hyper aware of, we agreed that we’d be godparents to each others kids.

I recently gave birth to a baby girl, and obviously due to COVID we’ve had no visitors to meet her, but I FaceTimed Mia from the hospital. She started the call with “let me see my goddaughter then” and that’s when I remembered the agreement that we made. Don’t get me wrong, I adore Mia, she’s my best friend, but it seems a bit silly to allow her to be god mother when 1) she probably won’t be around by the time something could happen to go wrong for me and 2) her quality of life would in no way enable her to look after a child.

I waited until we were home before I said anything to Mia and when I asked her if she was okay with it she said she was, but I got a text from her mom later that night asking how I can claim to be her best friend when I treat her like that. A few of our friends have also said I’m an asshole for taking something away from Mia that she’s been looking forward to for so long. I called Mia and asked if she was upset and she said that she really was, and that it was another thing she couldn’t do because of her CF. I sympathise with her but I said I wasn’t going to change my mind. She’s really upset with me now, along with our friends and her parents. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA, here's the thing.  God parents aren't necessarily who her guardians will be.  My god parents were a childless uncle,  and the wife of a friend of my father's who we barely interacted with as I grew older.  My sister's was someone my dad played cricket with and my 16 year olds aunt.  In case something happened to my parents,  we went to my mother's parents.  With a different aunt and uncle ( from dad's side) as trustee.

The fact is treatment for cystic fibrosis is becoming better and better,  if you are really concerned about that,  name multiple God parents... ######


Prompt:
Hello all! I am using my son's Reddit account after he told me about this group. Please don't "like(?)", as I don't want my son to see this.

So my son got a physical today, and he's in the 27th percentile in terms of weight. I was disappointed, to say the least. I and my wife are fit, why can't he be?  He's 14 by the way. He's a picky eater, so he eats whatever he likes. When we went home in the car, and I'm not proud of this, but I berated him. He softly said "okay." and didn't argue. I just did it out of love. Now my wife's asleep, but she said that my son told her and called me an asshole.

AITA? And if I am, how do I make things right? ######

Response: YTA, good way to destory your sons self estem in himself and any form of trust he had i. You. Prepare for your son to get distant with you. Who would wabt a parent who only cares about thier body? Its not like he is in any ways a unhealthy weight, just not fit like you. I hope he gets out of such a toxic environment where his parents only care about his looks and not him. And yes upvoting so he can see that you hacked his acount without his permission... such a smart plab to loss all his trust. ######


Prompt:
So I (17m) live with my mom, dad, and sister (15). My mom often leaves for long trips by herself (I believe to get away from my dad and us) and hasn’t been here all week. My dad is a pretty extreme alcoholic and is almost never sober. He’s typically worst in the evenings, when he’s clearly intoxicated (unlike other times when it can be hard to tell). One of the things he does when he’s intoxicated is he becomes really accommodating and “providing”. He will do things like offer to buy stuff and buy us desserts and whatnot. I’ve noticed my sister asks my dad to buy her things she doesn’t need when he’s intoxicated, and he usually agrees and gives her his credit card. I don’t believe these purchases are things he would be okay with if he were sober. They never exceed a few hundred dollars, but I still have a problem. I feel like my sister is taking advantage of my dad when he’s not sober, my mom is not home, and he isn’t able to say no to her. I’m thinking about saying something, but I don’t know if that would make me an AH. I’d be implying that my dad is incapable of making decisions (he denies he has a drinking problem) and that my sister is manipulative. My sister always feigns ignorance when I ask her about my dad’s drinking, so I’m tired of trying to ask her politely.

TL;DR I feel my sister is taking advantage of my alcoholic father when he isn’t sober by asking him to buy her things. I have tried bringing up the subject, but my sister pretends she has no idea what I’m taking about. WIBTA if I told her I’m disgusted by her behavior? ######

Response: YTA, focus your anger on the adult in the situation and tell your dad you're disgusted by *his* behaviour. ######


Prompt:
The first time my wife had a miscarriage I was completely supportive and spent several days comforting her. The second time I was also there for her 100%. The third time was the night before a major work meeting with prospective investors, so I offered to take her to the ER and make sure she got to her room, but explained I would need to get some sleep and go to work. My wife was already upset, but became furious with me and refused to let me take her to the hospital. She had a friend take her instead, and I ended up missing work anyway because I was so stressed out I couldn't sleep. She's so upset over this she's not sure if our relationship can continue.

I understand the circumstances were terrible either way, but my own fears were confirmed when work gave me a warning about being absent a few days "every other month" and said they needed to see some improvement from me in that area.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: YTA, especially since you missed work anyway! She needed you. ######


Prompt:
So we are from a country that’s currently dealing with huge disasters, there are legit high percentage of families that can’t find food and shelter because of the recent pandemic, we have electricity shortage, the government is even struggling to deliver water into homes all that with extreme temperature and a joke of a healthcare system this and others is a good recipe of disaster.

Anyways we are from the well off communities and being in a private school and having economically stable and comfortable families we decided to help as much as we could,

We had a Zoom call of about 40 students and few teachers,

So we started it normally and then when we were staring to discuss the problems and how we could help people during these times, there is this girl who out of no where starts lecturing us about BIm and how we should also discuss it and give it time, I tolerated her for few minutes then couldn’t contain myself.

I told her stuff like to shut up and that nobody gives a shit about some trouble the most economically powerful and many kilometers away is dealing with while our people are suffering and are struggling to even survive, and that nobody from the us would give a shut about us, and why she was being a naive shit, it got really heated and teachers had to intervene,

I left the call, and so did around 30-35 students.

The students who were left in the call reached out to Mr saying I extremely embarrassed her in front of 50 people and that she kept speaking to 4 left students and that she was very hurt by it and also she already suffers from anxiety and depression and this made things worse, and I should apologize

And I’m really not sure ######

Response: YTA, do you seriously believe that only black people in America face racism? BLM is an issue for the whole world! ######


Prompt:
My 19yo son is about 6ft and needs to lose about 20 pounds. He was always skinny, but I suspect his eating habits got bad while he was at college and he just wasn't working out. He's been home since March and I've been egging him to go to workout with me. He doesn't want to. We had a 4th of July picture taken of us and he could no longer hide that belly. I tell my son discreetly that he has put on weight and he denies it. He says I am the only one who tells him that.

Tonight, he came home with Taco Bell. I don't think I've had Taco Bell since high school and I would rather have let my kids starve before feeding them that garbage. My younger son who is 9 asked him what he had. He had order three burritos and these churro things. Oh, and a Dr. Pepper. My son replied "no wonder you're so fat." It came out of so left-field that I couldn't help but to laugh. My 9yo is hardly mean. He's just very blunt and observant. ######

Response: Yta, did you think this wasn't going to make your son insecure? You're also enabling your 9 year old to fat shame others. You need to discipline your kid and apologize. ######


Prompt:
This happened yesterday and I’m still getting texts and calls from people calling me the asshole, my daughter isn’t speaking to me and everyone wants me to apologize but I don’t see what I did wrong.

So context. For Independence Day this year my husband and I decided it would be fun to have a costume themed Fourth of July party. (There were people in Uncle Sam outfits, dressed as cowboys, Rosie the riveter and all types of American heroes)

Before the party I had told my daughter (21) that it was a costume party and that she if she wanted to dress up she should pick something non scandalous since there would be kids there and it was a family event. I laid out a dress code, she seemed fine with it and only asked if she’d bring her girlfriend I said yes, assuming that everyone was on the same page.

When they arrive it’s clear that they didn’t follow the dress code.

To put it mildly, daughter was dressed like the Statue of Liberty if the person who designed her dress had a pair of scissors glued to their hand. It was revealing, short and made with thin fabric. Her girlfriend had on some type of bodysuit with the American flag on it which was also short.

I don’t have a problem with people dressing how they want but they blatantly disregarded my instructions that I laid out for a really specific reason. If it were anywhere else I would not have minded but there were parents there who didn’t want their kids to look at lady liberty’s ass.

I pulled them aside and tried to talk through everything like adults but it turned to a screaming match with them accusing me of policing their bodies. I told them to leave.

So now I’m getting crap from friends and relatives telling me I took it too far. But I specifically told them what to expect so AITA? ######

Response: YTA, but only for throwing a party in the middle of a pandemic ######


Prompt:
I, 7M loves treats. They're my favourite thing to eat. When it rains, I stand out in the garden to get wet, then come in demanding my treats for being so brave. When they come down in the morning, I beg them for treats, they think I'm saying good morning but I'm not. I just love treats so much.

My mam and dad calls me a treat slut. I admit, whenever they go in the kitchen, I rub all over their legs and stand in front of my treat cupboard.

AITA? Am I really a treat slut? :(

Here's me guarding my cupboard

http://imgur.com/gallery/SQ4T2Sf ######

Response:
 YTA, but only because all cats are AH. Furry, adorable, AHs.

And yes, you deserve all the treats 😸 ######


Prompt:
I wasn’t ever exposed to girls/women when I was young. My mother died during childbirth, my father never remarried, and I was an only child. I also went to a boys only school. So, I’ve never experienced a person getting a period for a long time.

Flash forward 30 years. My 12 year old daughter is getting her first period. She was “prepared” for this, but she still had some questions. I just said to her if she feels more comfortable talking to her mom, then she should talk to her. I think that makes sense. My wife had experienced period before. It’s better to talk to a person who has actually experienced it versus a person who has just read about it.

After I told her that, she went to her mom. My wife was pretty mad at me. She said that I shouldn’t’ve sent our daughter to her and that I should’ve taken care of her since I’m her father.

So, AITA?

Edit: The first paragraph might not be entirely relevant. ######

Response:
 YTA, but only a tiny bit. She's 12, you've had plenty of time to educate yourself on menstruation issues. While your instinct to have your daughter speak with someone who has experienced menstruation was right, it can come off as you going, "Those are women problems, not going to help you with that." --I completely realize you said nothing of the sort and your intention was good, just explaining how your wife might have perceived it.

A better solution may have been you suggesting you and your daughter talk to her mother together. This shows that you're willing to admit your knowledge has some holes and lacks practical application but you're willing to learn and fill in those holes. Just because you haven't dealt with it much doesn't mean you shouldn't care or be involved with your daughter's health, especially if she's comfortable enough to ask you in the first place. Many parents aren't able to instill that level of trust on their kids and you should absolutely continue to cultivate that. It is a great thing. ######


Prompt:
Me and my freinds are planning a boys roadtrip across New Zealand, (we cured the disease). One of my good friends called Bryan, recently came out to us as Trans MTF. I am pretty progressive and accept Bryan as a transgender woman. Because of this we have decided to disinvite from his trip and our group chat because he is  a woman, and its a boys night trip kinda thing.

&#x200B;

Apparently Bryan was really hurt by this and has been calling us Transphobic and crying about it. Reddit AITA ######

Response:
 YTA, but not irredeemably so. Coming out as trans is really difficult and frightening, and she's probably really worried about losing friends - it's understandable that you wouldn't invite a woman on a boys trip, but from her perspective, getting disinvited AND booted from the group chat looks and feels a lot like your group rejecting her and casting her out.

Reach out to her, apologize, and explain that you assumed she wouldn't want to come on a boys trip, and make sure you invite her on other outings. ######


Prompt:
For quick context purposes, I'm a recovering alcoholic. I've been sober for 4 years. I used to love day drinking -- basically waking up in the morning and drinking right away.

&nbsp;

One thing that helped me kick the juice is drinking O'Doul's in the morning. It's a habit I haven't really broken, and with being said, I bring a 6 pack of O'Doul's into work every morning and drink them at my cubicle. For those unaware, O'Doul's is a non-alcoholic brand of beer.

&nbsp;

I have a handful of coworkers that find this offensive. I won't call out anyone individually, but I've heard comments like "I wish I could crush a 6 pack of beers at work" or "I guess it's 5 o'clock in InternationalArt's world" or "The rest of us are working hard while InternationalArt's over there treating this like some sort of frat house party". I've also been told I "reek like beer", and I've even heard people undermine my sobriety by saying I still have a problem and that "drinking non-alcoholic beer doesn't make it any better".

&nbsp;

I was recently brought into a meeting with HR and notified that some employees had issued complaints against my "behavior." I was frustrated because no one yells at Diane for drinking 8 Diet Cokes a day, yet here I am in HR's office. I was politely asked by my employer to leave the O'Doul's at home. I'm having an issue understanding why this is a problem. AITA for drinking O'Doul's at work? ######

Response: YTA, but not for using a nonalcoholic beer as a stepping stone for getting sober (if it’s with your sponsor’s support/approval). Nonalcoholic beer REEKS like regular beer. You are actively making your office smell like beer every morning while drinking a full six-pack, which also makes other employees super uncomfortable. ######


Prompt: Hi so I need to explain some stuff first... basically my (14f) little sister (6) and her friend (4-5?) play with stray cats in the neighborhood that they've named and made up stories about. They say the two "main" cats (one who's meant to be a cat engineer and the other one who's a cat doctor, so like our parents minus the cat part) are married to each other. Well both of these cats have very visible male parts so when my sister told me a story about their day I asked her this: "don't you know they're both boy cats?" and first off she said they aren't, then I kinda explained to her they have parts boys have (she knows those basics) and she started crying and saying I'm mean to her and making up lies. She told our parents and they were furious with me for provoking my sister (I didn't want to provoke her I just thought it was funny) and they said I'm the older one and I'm supposed to support my sister not put down her creativity. So AITA? ######

Response: YTA, but not for that reason. I’m disappointed that you don’t support gay cat marriage, OP ######


Prompt:
Me and my girlfriend work for the same company, in Treasury. We sometimes bring some work home and finish it there since it’s much more peaceful. Last night was one such day and she was working on a tax computation. A couple of hours in she says “I’m such an idiot” I so obviously asked why. She says that she realised that she had done that part of that calculation a few days back and now she’s three quarters of the way doing it for a second time. I though this was funny and laughed and cracked a few jokes. She laughed too. Then a few minutes go by and she calls herself an idiot again. I asked her what it is this time. She says nothing and it’s about what happened. Then again calls herself and idiot. Theirs keeps on going for a few minutes with increasing creativity on the way she calls herself foolish. I keep trying to tell her she’s not but she’s not listening to one word of it. At this point I kinda lost patience with it and kinda snapped at her saying “Could you f***ing stop? You’re not an idiot.” She falls silent. Like dead silent with tears in her eyes and walks out of the room with her laptop. She didn’t speak to me for a couple of hours and later she tells me she was scared of me. I’ve never raised a hand against her or hurt her physically or screamed at her. So what do you think? AITA?

Edit: I heard you. I took her out for lunch from work today. I apologised. I admitted that I should not have reacted this way. Her answer was to kiss me. I really don’t deserve this girl. She is an angel. ######

Response:
 YTA, but not for telling her to stop verbally abusing herself, but for yelling at her.

You might not be aware of this, but she might have experienced verbal abuse/screaming in her childhood or past. That’s why she might have (over-)reacted like she did.

I am talking from personal experience that might not relate to your girlfriend, but I have experienced verbal abuse in my childhood that makes me very sensitive to screaming.

Still, you should never scream or raise your voice to a loved one, although your intentions were good. That’s why YTA. ######


Prompt:
So this has been getting to me still, months after it happened. I (20F) decided to get a boob reduction over winter break before going back to school in January. I have had back issues since I was a young teenager and my health insurance finally covered it (USA). I did not tell my bf of 1 year about it before or after I had it done. He only found out about it after I came back and was spending time at his apartment.

He was confused at first and when I told him that I had gotten surgery to have them reduced, he was upset that I never told him. He says it's not about the size, but that I had gone through major surgery and not told him anything while we were apart for a month.

AITA for keeping him in the dark on the issue? I was afraid of him trying to talk me out of it, so I didn't say anything beforehand. I feel like I had every right to not tell him, but I have doubts. We are still together now and it's not an issue (especially considering we have been apart for months now), but I still think about it. ######

Response: YTA, but not for getting a reduction, or not asking his opinion. He has no say in the issue. However, you are the asshole for not telling him you were getting a somewhat medically significant surgery. If something had gone wrong and you had been seriously hurt or died (especially if you had to he put under general anaesthetic), he would have been left entirely in the dark. That is pretty fucked up. ######


Prompt:
This happened a few years ago. I was at a waterpark with a few friends for my birthday. It was a group of 15. We all planned to just pay for ourselves and have a good few hours, but one of my friends decided he would pay for everyone as a gift to me. I tried to talk him out of it but he insisted on spending nearly $600 so no one else had to pay.

A few hours after, we all decided to congregate near the food court and get something to eat. The friend who paid for everyone's admission didn't order any food and instead thought we'd all share with him. Some people gave him a couple fries, someone bought him a drink, but I didn't want to share my food. I had a burrito, how do you even share that?

Upon hearing I wouldn't share, he got cold and left the waterpark early. I actually haven't spoken to him since then because he removed me from Facebook.

This is a situation I think about often when I'm laying in bed. Was I in the wrong for not sharing despite him spending $600 for the group? It was my birthday, why should I even share? ######

Response:
 YTA, but it was a weird situation that you had not had time to process.

You could have bought him a whole meal and still come out ahead of where you would be if you paid your own entry to the waterpark. ######