Prompt:
Throwaway.
I \[46M\] have a strict no swearing policy in my house. Recently, my oldest daughter \[16F\] has been extremely rebellious. She has been talking back to my wife and I, using her laptop for hours every day, and does not listen to anything I tell her.
A few days ago at around 11pm when I walked in to check on her, she was using a messaging app on her laptop to message her friends instead of doing schoolwork like she was supposed to. Obviously I was angry. I told her I would shut off the wifi in 5 minutes, because if she needed to do her work she should have been focused on it.
5 minutes later when I came back, I discovered that my daughter had not only not done her work, she had been using that 5 minutes to continue messaging her friends. That just pissed me off further and I took her laptop away.
When I read the messages she and her friends were exchanging, I found out that she had been complaining to her friends about how I was going to shut off the wifi, and not only that, many of her texts (and theirs) were full of swear words. That was the final straw. I yelled at her, and I used a good many swear words. I told her that if she was not going to follow my rules she could fuck off out of my house.
But before you say that I am a heartless father, let me just say, I'm not. My daughter goes to a prestigious school that has high school fees, and I have been paying for that for almost four years. She goes to dance classes twice a week. She uses a laptop that is very high quality and expensive. Whatever she wants, she has.
I'm not speaking to my daughter now. I am perfectly willing to start talking to her again provided she apologises for her behavior. She has not apologised, and has not spoken to me either. My wife says I should not have been so harsh, but I think my daughter deserved it. If she did not want me to shout at her, she shouldn't have made me so mad. ######

Response: YTA. *”If she did not want me to shout at her, she shouldn’t have made me so mad”* said every abuser ever. ######


Prompt:
My ex and I have a 10 year old daughter from a teenage relationship. My daughter lives with my ex and I pick her up for the afternoon on one weekend day and often take her out for dinner during the week. She still has a stuffed dog I bought for her when she was a baby and carries the damn thing everywhere.  It is always dirty and I think she's too old to carry a toy everywhere.

I made a rule that she either leaves the toy at home or puts it inside a plastic bag when she's in my car or home. She cried and said I was mean, then later my ex called me to yell at me. She said I was being insensitive to my daughter's disability and needs. (Apparently she's autistic but I don't believe that.) ######

Response: YTa. *“Apparently she’s autistic but I don’t believe that.”* ######


Prompt:
My dad (65M) and I (35F) used to be really close. My mom was a surgeon, so my dad was the one to pick us up from school, make us dinner, help us with homework, ect. I married my husband (36M) five years ago.

My dad is also a physician, and I can tell when he's entertaining guests because he has a distinctive bedside manner. It's polite and laid-back, but there is nothing of substance and I know he doesn't think anything he's saying is important. For the past five years, he hasn't had a single real conversation with my husband and I. It's all polite bullshit, and my husband doesn't believe me because he's never heard my dad have an actual conversation.

Last week, we visited my parents, and my husband mentioned some investments he was thinking about making (that I know my dad thinks is a bad idea, because I've heard him give a 2 hour diatribe about why its a shitty idea before). When he responded, "That's really interesting, it sounds like you've put a lot of research into it", I lost it and called my dad out for not saying what he actually thinks, even when it can affect us financially.

Later he pulled me aside, and he raised his voice with me for the first time since before high school. I asked him why he doesn't treat my husband like family. He told me that's not a decision I get to make, and that my husband is a guest and he's being polite. He also told me that I don't get to dictate what he feels comfortable speaking about and to who. That made me feel really bad, and my mom got upset at me for "embarrassing my dad for no reason". Now, I'm second guessing myself, but I also feel like its his fault for not actually caring about us.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA.  Your dad has been polite and friendly with your husband, you can't force him to feel comfortable with him or close to him.  Lots of people don't want to discuss financial or political issues with in-laws, especially if you realize they have different views.  When in laws say stupid things or something you disagree with some people would prefer to smile and keep the peace. ######


Prompt:
I've been going to see the same stylist for about a year before coronavirus. We had a lot in common (by coincidence, I happened to be visiting his hometown a great deal that year because several friends had moved there), but I guess in retrospect this friendliness was probably part of his 'sales patter.'

After the lockdown in March, since I knew 100% of his income was coming from his work and he was scheduled to be married this year, I emailed him asking if he was doing okay, and we chatted briefly by email.

Later that month he emailed me to let me know he had made a note of all appointments that had been scheduled and "all booked appointments during this time are my priority to be re booked once we get back into work."

I had emergency surgery in early July, and am only now feeling better. I noticed that the salon Web site says they're taking customers, so I emailed him to confirm if they were open.

He replied that they'd been open since June 24th (when they were legally allowed to reopen), said he had finally gotten through all the voicemails and emails from their shutdown, and asked if I wanted to schedule an appointment.

Honestly, this is upsetting. I'm not the typical young/attractive person that goes to that salon, but I went because they offered a specific treatment I couldn't easily find elsewhere. I'm guessing if I hadn't emailed him, I'd have never heard back from him.

The complicating factor is that I thought we had some kind of acquaintanceship at least, so it hurts to think that even though I'd emailed him during the lockdown, and I've been a regular for a year, he couldn't be bothered for two months to let me know they'd reopened.

I replied that I'd be in touch. WIBTA to just ditch him and take my  business elsewhere, or am I being overly sensitive? ######

Response: YTA.  You're being *way* too sensitive.  Take the relationship you feel you've cultivated with him, multiply it across all his other clients (many of whom have probably been clients much longer than a year), and maybe you'll start to see why he's only just *now* clearing out the backlog.  If you still want to search for another stylist, so be it...but if having that person consider you a friend is going to be the deciding factor, you're going to be looking for a long, long time. ######


Prompt:
Title sounds bad but there's a lot more to the story. Me and my gf are both 21 in uni. I live at home so she doesn't really come here as my mother is kinda conservative and is against her sleeping over. I mostly go to her place and we have sex play video games chill, smoke weed just hang and have fun. My gf has this habit of inviting me over and then telling me that she's on her period whenever we try to have sex (I'm okay having sex on one's period but she isnt' finds it gross)

I asked her numerous times to tell me before I come over just so my expectations are accurate. She doesn't or she'll tell me that she isn't yet and then when I arrive inform me that she just got it (which I think is a lie tbh but what do I know about periods really)

Anyway I told my older brother this and he said that she only does it cause I let her get away with it, I asked what he wanted me to do about it since I'm already there and our relationship isn't just sex. he suggested that I leave a few times and she'll eventually figure it's best to just be honest with me.

I recently took his advice much to the chagrin of my gf and she ended up posting about it on social media, I'm now being lambasted by girls everywhere calling me a misogynistic pig and other less happy language. The post has gone semi viral in my town and I'm wondering amitheasshole?

Well thanx guys it looks like I'm the AH since I'm supposedly acting entitled to sex. Ignoring the fact that she's entitled to my attention (as anyone could figure out from my post) this barrage has made me realise that this relationship isn't going anywhere. See my gf is a lot like the users of AITA, too wrapped up in gender stuff to ever see where I'm coming from. So I've decided to dump her since convincing you guys of anything is like pulling teeth and she's just gonna be the same. So well done, you've freed a girl from another patriarchal dickhead congrats. She's crying as we speak but that's what you wanted so good day ######

Response: YTA.  You said girlfriend, not blow up doll. ######


Prompt:
I married my husband two years ago, he has a child (21 non binary ) called Leo, and I have two children 8 and 9 from a previous marriage.  We all for the most part get along...

But living with Leo is like living with a ghost.  They barely talk, stay mostly in their room and there is zero physical affection. They pay rent and buy their own food - they're moving out after the pandemic. Sometimes I'll see them in the kitchen, ask if they're hungry and they'll just look at me and shake their head or if they're making themselves something and I ask for some of their food they just say "No thank you." They're never at family meals and my children say that they want to hang out with them, cause they have lots of consoles in their bedroom and toys that they bought but Leo just goes to their room and locks the door.

I know they have autism and that they work online and that they're happy with their way of life - even my husband says that the therapist is proud that they're doing much better then years ago?

Incident in question is I asked them today if they want to go to my mother's today for a family reunion and that they can be on their switch the whole time or ignore everyone,  just please go! And all Leo said was, "No thank you, i'm packing today."

I'll admit I just was defeated and finally snapped. "You know living with you is like living with a ghost, when you move out no will notice because you never talk or try to be affectionate. I'm your new mother and I have not ONCE been hugged by you or eaten a meal with you. I give up, is that you wanted? Because that's what you're getting!"

After saying that Leo just looked at me and I saw a tear fall and all they said was "This is just who I am.."

And not I haven't seen or heard from them in hours and the rest of the family is telling me I was a monster.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA.  You are not this grown person's mother.  This grown person is autistic and likely cannot handle the physical stimuli that you might consider 'affection'.  They are an ADULT they DO NOT OWE YOU AFFECTION.  I can't believe you would say something so selfish to this poor person.  Rethink your choices.  Become better.  For the love of God. ######


Prompt:
Our intended wedding date is July 2021, should everything go accordingly.

The main tiff between the fiancé and I at the moment is the bridal party, well the flower girl. He's 29 but has a much younger, biological sister whose 8. Because of the difference they're relationship is more uncle and niece then brother and sister.

I have a niece from my older sister, whose nine, but I'm a big sister to her.

Getting engaged, I knew right away my niece was going to be my flower girl. Whenever my fiancé and I drop by his parents, his little sister asks if she can be flower girl. It's a little awkward. I'm not close to her. Again, my fiancé isn't close to her. I joke she's going to need to fight my niece over that.

In August we had a get together with both his and mine family to announce the bridal party. His little sister was there and was super excited and announced to everyone she was going to be the flower girl. Again, I choose my niece. To make things a little more awkward, his little brother (11m) is the ring bearer. His sister obviously looked hurt after.

Since then my fiancé has received messages from both his mom and dad asking if we could find a spot for her in the wedding because she's feeling left out and her brother doesn't love her. He was comfortable with just my niece being flower girl, but now his opinion is turning because he's getting so frustrated with the messages. He's now saying we can have 2 flower girls but I don't want that in my wedding. I made a choice and would like him to stick up for me. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.  Why can't you have two flower girls?

Also, did I read this wrong - fiance's brother is going to be in the wedding? So actually you are purposely leaving out his sister. ######


Prompt:
Background- My mother (57F), Daughter (12F), and I went on a trip to North Carolina for my mother’s birthday. We just got to the hotel yesterday after 10 hours of driving, once we got there my daughter, we’ll call her ‘C’ , complained of stomach cramps and was in bed sleeping most of the time until it was time for dinner.

Story-

This morning, my mother and C were picking places to eat for brunch, once they found a restaurant eat, I asked C to get dressed so we could head out. Once she got dressed, she came out in the living room and chilled for a bit until we were all ready to leave.

 While she was doing that I went into our shared bedroom and started to take off the sheets since we brought our own, once I started to take off C’s sheets I immediately saw a small red stain of blood on one of her sheets.

 I called C into the room to tell her about it and this is the part where I might’ve went wrong...

C : What’s wrong?

Me: This!

I then showed her the red stain on the sheet and by the look on her face I could tell that she was embarrassed.

Me: I understand that mistakes happen but this would never had happened if you had just changed your pad like your supposed to!

Me: Pads are supposed to be changed at least 3 or 4 times a day! I just can’t believe you!

At this point she was in tears while I went to the bathroom and tried to wash the stain out of the sheet while she just stood there. Every since then she’s been extremely quite and dismissive, and I’m starting to worry if I went overboard.

So reddit, AITA? ######

Response: YTA.  What did you hope to achieve by throwing a tantrum at your daughter for an accident?  Also, what magical pads do you have the would have for-sure prevented this from happening?  Newsflash: Leaks happen even when someone is wearing a brandnew pad.  I can’t believe you’ve reached adulthood without knowing that. ######


Prompt:
I have 2 sons, R and K. R is 14 and K is 10. My kids are very different. R is very intelligent and has always excelled in school without giving any effort at all. He was always quite independent, and I never had to involve myself with his school, so I didn't. K, on the other hand, was never very good at school or at focusing, and his grades were never above a B.

My wife and I both work full time, and we were very nervous that K would not perform well in online school. I had the idea to have R tutor him, seeing as he was always good at math. which is K's worst subject.

R was not happy about giving up 2-3 hours a day to tutor K, but I told him that he needs to help his brother. And it worked super well! Within 3 days, K's practice scores went from 45% to 89%, but R was very frustrated because he had to "Teach things I never learned". He was talking about        training his number sense, and he complained that numbers "always came easily to him" and that he couldn't teach it. I told him that he was being arrogant, and that there was no need to flaunt his intelligence. I got kind of carried away and yelled at him that he doesn't deserve his success because his smarts are due only to his good genetics, not through hard work. He asked me what more he could do, saying that his grades were all 100 or more. I called him a liar. And he became extremely upset and locked himself in his room.

Today, R came downstairs as me and my wife were talking about K's suddenly better test scores. R commented, saying "He's got the right idea, setting the bar low". I asked him what he meant, and he said "He meets the bare minimum of expectations, and he gets praise like he cured polio. I break records, and I get an "oh, ok". When was the last time you told be you were proud" I was speechless. He went to his room and hasn't left since.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.  Tutoring/teaching IS a talent.  R should not have to sacrifice his own future/study time for his brother, you should hire a real tutor if K needs help OR offer to pay R for his time (and if he doesn’t want to, that needs to be ok). This isn’t just a little bit of family helping each other out - this is a significant time investment above and beyond that.

It’s also very cruel and psychologically damaging that you’re telling one of your own children they don’t deserve their success and they don’t work hard. Why are you doing this? ######


Prompt:
Throwaway

This happened last Christmas and I want to know if I am the asshole

Recently my daughter married and gained two step kids from her husband. she has been spending a lot more on those step kids than her own son because apparently my daughter thinks that step kid are being treated unfairly by my daughters side of the family as my daughters step kid does not have any family except from there father. There father does not make as much cash as my daughter.

I think this is unfair and sets up for a life time of thinking that the step kids in every situation will be fair. I told my daughter that she should split up the family funds evenly but my daughter refused. So during this Christmas I got my daughters child a brand new mac book and an expensive Iphone model. While the other child got multiple presents from the family. The step children did not get anything from my family. My step grand children where mad and told my daughter it's un fair. I came to them and I told them I don't give a f\*ck about them and that life is not fair and they should grow up.

My daughter immediately  came and told me that she plans to sell the gifts that I got for my grand child and split up among everyone so it does not cause any problems. I was mad and told my daughter that I don't give a fuck about her step kids and that they need to learn life is not fair. My daughter became pissed and told me that I am going to be cut off from my grand sons life. The child I am biologically related to because I acted really mean to her step kids. So or telling my daughters step kid I don't give a fuck about them and there feelings ######

Response: YTA.  To tell any kid “you don’t give a fuck about them” is an asshole thing to do.  I really hope this is a troll post. ######


Prompt:
I (48M) have a 16 year old daughter. According to her, she’s had issues with disposable pads and they supposedly “irritate” her and she thinks she gets an allergic reaction to them.

She’s heard of something called Thinx period underwear and she came to me and asked if I would be willing to order her a pair because they’re expensive. She also elected to share with me how her last period it was so bad she had to free bleed on her last days and that these would help with that. I’d never heard about them before and when I asked she said she heard about them from online and a story about a woman in a similar position to her and that these came highly recommended.

I told her no, because they cost too much. I told her that if she wanted a pair she could buy some herself. She protested and complained because she hasn’t had a job since quarantine and that these are a “necessity” so therefore I should help pay for them, and volunteered to pay half. I still refused because I didn’t see the point when there are perfectly fine disposable pads at the store. She went running to her mother and my wife is against me now and wants to order her a pair, but I said it’s my credit card and they can’t use it without my permission. AITA for this? ######

Response: YTA.  They 'supposedly' irritate her?  My dude, that is absolutely a thing, you have never had to wear them and have no idea what it's like so doubting what she says about her own body is you swerving way out of your lane.  She's even offered to pay half which means you're out a whopping $17.  You're going to treat your daughter like this over $17?  That's the choice you're going to make?  Come on. ######


Prompt:
Im currently on a trip with family, specifically my Mum, Stepdad, my Uncle and Auntie, and my cousin.

My cousin and I are both millenials. Our parents are all boomers. I say this cus there's a chance this is just a generational thing but im not sure. I love my whole family to bits and this trip has been very fun, except for this one issue.

Our parents have a pretty gross sense of humor sometimes. Most of the time its harmless stuff (fart jokes, generally teasing their respective partners, talking about how bad their breath is in the morning etc etc) but then other times it excalates into sex jokes. As an example, a few days ago my stepdad said something along the lines of "thats very hard" and uncle replied with "thats what (auntie) said last night." They all thought it was hilarious. Another example is they love to refer to my mum's pet cat as her "pussy" and purposefully make witty parallels between the cat and mum + stepdad's sex life. Eg: "(Mum) how is your pussy  tonight?" "She is very well taken care of ;)" not even kidding this was said. Again they all roared with laughter.

I dont usually say anything outside of a small "ew" or "ugh". Last night however we were all at the pub and a little tipsy, having a good time, when yet another nasty reference to sexy times was said, and i kinda had a small outburst saying i couldn't understand how they were all so comfortable joking about this stuff in front of their kids. Yes, we are all adults now, but if i were in their shoes i would still prefer to keep that shit to myself.

They basically told me i was being way too uptight and that they are "allowed to let loose now" because they raised me.

I looked to cousin for backup but she wanted to stay out of it, which i understand.

Just for a bit of extra info, we are all staying in one big airbnb with communal kitchen/dining/living areas so its pretty hard to avoid these jokes, especially when they are very suddenly added to a normal conversation.

So reddit, AITA? ######

Response: YTA.  These jokes aren’t racist or sexist and all the subjects of the jokes are okay with them.  If this bothers you that much it sounds like they need to leave the kids home next trip. ######


Prompt: My daughter recently told me that she was a lesbian and I was disappointed in her. She's always been super passionate about gay rights and seems to not like men and stuff so I always suspected that she might be gay but every time I've asked her if she was gay she either said "no" or "I don't know". She said she knew all along so I'm mad that she lied to me and kept secrets from me. She says she doesn't owe me anything but I'm her mother and I think I have the right to know. I think I have a good reason to be offended that she doesn't trust me and I'm not actually mad that she's a lesbian but the fact that she hid it from me. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: YTA.  The reason she didn't tell you sooner is exactly how you're acting right now. ######


Prompt:
She is upset with me for refusing to change my running pace now that she can't safely match it anymore.

I feel for her because I know it has to be hard to go through all of the bodily changes and give up something like this which has been a part of our relationship since we started dating nine years ago,  but...I am not sure what good is accomplished by me changing my pace.

It is hard to regain your fitness and form when you drastically cut back. I am not sure if her aim is to have us both get back in shape together, but that is a terrible idea.

I have offered her a compromise of walking a mile or two with her after I finish my run, but she refuses because she says by this time I am too tired to do a power walk with her. I also suggested that she find another expectant mom to walk with or one of her friends, but she was not too keen on that idea either.

I really think it is more about her not being able to run than spending time with me or walking to stay active.

I told her I would not change my pace because it served no purpose and I had offered her a reasonable compromise, but do you think I am being the @$$h013? ######

Response: YTA.  The purpose is keeping your pregnant wife company.  You know, the one going through all the physical changes to bring another part of you into the world where all you had to do was have an orgasm. ######


Prompt:
My husband's friend and his wife are pregnant and expecting a boy. They recently told my husband that they want to name the baby after him.

When my husband and his friend where teenagers, his friend was involved in a really bad accident while they were riding dirt bikes. If my husband had not been there that day his friend would have died, so I get why they want to do this.

It is sweet, but I hate the idea. My husband and I are trying to conceive, and if we have a boy, I had thought about naming him after my husband. I'm not saying that we would, but I would like for that option to at least be available to us. As much time as we spend with his friend and his friend's wife, it would be awkward to have two boys with the same name.

I asked my husband to politely request that they pick another name, and he refused. He told me that it was strange to be so upset over this when we may never have a boy and it's unlikely we would name our son after him.

When my husband refused I reached out to the friend and his wife about it. I told them that it was ultimately their choice but it bothered me and I'd ask that they use another name if they didn't mind. They were really nice about it and said they understood my point. They may use his middle name, but they aren't going to use his first name.

I don't think what I did was inappropriate, but my husband said I was acting entitled and like an asshole. He thinks I should have minded my own business instead of telling his friend and his friend's wife not to name their baby after him. I am not sure if his criticism is valid or if he's just upset that he won't get his namesake now. ######

Response: YTA.  That would have been a huge honor for your husband, and what a special connection he could have had with this little boy.  You sound oddly jealous about their new baby. ######


Prompt:
So yesterday was my roommate's birthday, and we live in a college dorm together. We spent the whole day hanging out and concluded the night by smoking a joint together with another friend. We all got really high, and she went to go fuck this guy she's seeing. Me and the mutual friend stayed up for a while and talked till we were both exhausted.

The mutual friend left, and I got into bed and started settling down. Then my roommate and her male friend came back into our room to watch a TV show. She knows I'm a super deep sleeper, and I reiterated the point to tell her that they didn't have to whisper, especially since it was her birthday. I wished them goodnight then eventually fell asleep to the sounds of them laughing at what was on TV.

This afternoon when we were talking she told me about her night, slipping in there that she had had sex with him in our room last night and kicked him out before I woke up. I didn't indicate that anything was wrong, because I didn't want to ruin the casual mood we were having. However, I became really uncomfortable. I wasn't awake for it, and had she asked, I probably would have said that was fine. But she didn't, and it sort of feels nonconsensual to me.

I just texted her saying that it made me uncomfortable, and she hasn't responded yet. She's become a really close friend to me this past month, but that sort of made me lose some of my trust. Am I the asshole for reacting this way? ######

Response:
 YTA.  that is like wearing a bikini to go swimming and getting mad when someone splashes water on you.

you said if she had asked you wouldn't have cared...  you weren't involved.  you have no right to say it is nonconsensual, like they involved you or something. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend recently moved in town into her cousins apartment. We will call the cousin Amy. They split the rent 3 ways, between my girlfriend, Amy, and Amy's girlfriend. They have been splitting the rent this way for 2 months, but yesterday, Amy had a talk with my girlfriend saying that I need to start paying rent since I sleep over there often and I'm practically living there. I'm not sure how I feel about this, firstly because while I do sleep at my girlfriends the majority of the month, non of my stuff is there, I do work from my actual home Monday through Friday 7:30-3:30, I pay for my own food at my girlfriends place, and I shower with my girlfriend, not costing them any extra utility. I am only there when my girlfriend is and we only  stay in her room that she pays her part for.

Now I can understand where Amy is coming from, but does me spending time with my girlfriend actually constitute as living there? Part of me feels like Amy is charging me to date my girlfriend. ######

Response: YTA.  Something needs to change.  Spend more time at your place with your girlfriend.  Your girlfriends roommates didn't sign up to live with one extra person.  If you are over there taking up space all the time you need to pay up or spend more time elsewhere. ######


Prompt:
I don’t know if this is a regular occurrence, but I went into the kitchen last night about an hour after I told my girlfriend I was going to bed. She always pumps before bed so I assumed that was what she was doing.

When I walked into the kitchen she was sitting at the table and she picked up the bottle she pumps into and took a sip. I said “what the hell” and she turned around and got super red in the face. I asked what she was doing and she said “I just took a sip I wanted to try it”. I said “you’re disgusting” and she started crying. I went back in the bedroom and she never came to bed until this morning she came in the room when our daughter started crying.

I asked why she never came to bed, and she said I made her feel embarrassed. I told her nobody was around, and I apologized if I upset her, but it was still gross. She made a comment about how drinking her own breast milk is less gross than drinking cows milk, but I said I disagree. Now she’s both upset and irritated with me. ######

Response: YTA.  People will are fine with the partners putting their mouths on their gentials... but somehow breastmilk is where the line is drawn.  Get over it. ######


Prompt:
(Posted on behalf of someone who doesn’t have reddit - I’ve been discussing this all day with her)

My (57 F) daughter (32) recently gave birth and called and let me know hours after the birth. I was the first person she told but I think it’s strange she didn’t ring me immediately. She didn’t have a long labour and was out of hospital very quickly.

I then hinted very obviously that I’d like to see the baby by asking if she wanted anything and I would come and drop it off but she said she was fine. I feel like she should invite me to come over. I won’t hold the baby or come inside because of COVID but I would like to wave through the window. It’s also awkward when my friends ask if I’ve seen the baby yet and I have to say no.

AITA for being angry and upset with my daughter about this and trying to get my family to understand my point of view

Edit- Op here, after I said as gently as possible that she ran the risk of making her daughter think she was making it about her, she got very defensive and asked why I’m never on her side. She’s still convinced that her daughter is in the wrong and I’m not sure if it’s even possible to get through to her at this point. Thanks for all the comments, was beginning to feel guilty for not supporting her. ######

Response: YTA.  Noooo, grandma, your daughter's birth process is not about you.  The first hours and days after giving birth are not about you.  She doesn't owe you anything - it's about her and her baby. ######


Prompt:
Laptop was nearly 4 years old. I was going to get a new one anyway and just wipe and donate this one, but this girl I’m semi friends with accidentally spilled liquor all over it, which ended up breaking it.

She was super apologetic and offered to replace it with a new one for close to $2,000. I know for a fact this poses a significant financial burden as she is on a lot of fin aid at our school, but I was wondering if it would make me the asshole if I accepted since she offered. I was going to buy a new one right now anyway and just donate this. ######

Response: YTA.  Its unfortunate that you can't donate it, but allowing the person to put themselves in hardship for something when you are not disadvantaged (you were going to upgrade) is definitely a jerk move. ######


Prompt:
My friend is deciding between two offices of the same company. One is in San Fransisco, and the other is in New York.

Instead of considering factors such as career progression, cost of living, social scene, etc.... he literally said he’s choosing the New York office simply because they have a much more traditional business professional dress code compared to the San Fransisco office which it’s common to wear jeans at.

I told him he’s being idiotic for choosing for solely that reason, and now he’s all angry at me.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.  It’s his choice.  I’m sure the dress code speaks to much more, such as lifestyle and prestige.  He doesn’t owe you to lay it all out.

Is there a strong reason you see that he should be choosing one over the other?  Your post makes it sound like all things are equal, so why shouldn’t dress code be the deciding factor if it means something to him. ######


Prompt:
My cousin (18f) and I (21f)  were never really close because she was the beautiful darling girl of the family while I was just the "smart" one. It also doesn't help that we were just two different people.

My cousin is known to use so much photoshop and makeup on all of her pictures to make herself look older than she is. She's not aware of the real world and how some of the older men tend to be towards young women around her age.

Today, my mom told me that my cousin got knocked up by her 22 year old boyfriend. I feel as if the boyfriend is only using her for her looks/ sex. My family has a long history of 16-20 year old women becoming mothers too quick. I'm the only one (so far) who isn't a mother at 21.

I told my mom that my cousin had just fucked her life up and that she needs to get a job and not try to rely on her parents money. My mother got mad because I wasn't like everyone else in the family who was excited and kissing my cousin's ass.

I blame her parents for not putting her on birth control when I told them that I know guys around her boyfriend's age and how a lot of them are known to leave once they get the girl pregnant. I blame the boyfriend for not being mature enough to buy condoms.

I defended myself by saying "if I've gotten pregnant at her age, you would be pissed off. Why are we kissing her ass for spreading her legs without protection."

I understand that a pregnancy is a huge thing in my family because of the history of young women getting pregnant. It could also be the fact that I have a hormonal condition that would make it hard for me to have children if I wanted them and that i could be jealous that I might never have that experience myself.

Am I the asshole for not being happy for my young cousin's pregnancy? ######

Response: YTA.  It's not a matter of not being supportive.  It's a matter of you acting like an absolute self righteous jerk. ######


Prompt:
My MIL is pretty narcissistic and I did not marry the golden child. She blatantly favors her older son and she is always condescending towards my husband because of financial issues. SIL (married into the family, not her daughter) and MIL are extremely close, like they go on girls weekends pretty frequently, on family vacation they stay up drinking together and sometimes sleep in the same bed, they play with each other's hair, and in my opinion the most uncomfortable thing was when SIL tried to pull off our MIL's bikini top as a joke.

We had family dinner for FIL's birthday last night and after dinner the two of them were laying in the hammock together, I wish I was kidding, sharing a lollipop. I told them that their relationship is creepy as hell and my MIL immediately started saying that I'm jealous and bringing up our money issues. Now my husband is furious with me for saying anything. ######

Response: YTA.  It kind of doesn’t matter whether or not their relationship is creepy, since it is absolutely none of your business.  You could have said nothing. ######


Prompt:
So my ex has reached out to me to talk, but she doesn't want to hang out unless I'm willing to apologize for the thing that we broke up over.

It was a few years ago. Her little sister wanted to walk when she graduated high school, but by that time she had lost the use of her legs due to a spinal cord injury. She brought it up to me because I work in event services for the school district. I said it may be possible to arrange for her to cross the stage in her wheelchair but it would be a lot of work, and we are already short on resources for these events.

I suggested not walking because it's best to make peace with our places in life. I am not going to become any happier wishing that I had $1 billion for example.

My ex broke up with me over this, but her sister did not end up walking so I think between the two of us we at least had an understanding and that my advice was valued.

Anyway now years later she wants me to apologize for it but I'm just not seeing it. ######

Response:
 YTA.  It is the school’s responsibility to make accommodations.

You sound lazy at best, ableist at worst, and you definitely sound like the AH.

YTA. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend is a very gross eater, back in his home country he was raised primarily at a farm by his dad where no one really cared for even basic hygeine/eating ettiquite. No, I don't care if his elbows are on the table at dinner, I'm not that pedantic. I don't really care when his hands are dirty when he eats or if he gets sauce all around his mouth.

In this particular instance however, he had just had an allergy attack so his sinuses were really blocked, making it sound really gross when he was eating, breathing, chewing, all at the same time. It's not that great having that noise in your ear when you're just trying to chill out, haha.

So I asked him to please eat his sandwich at the table (literally 1.5 - 2 meters away) because the way he was eating was grossing me out. He got angry and declined saying that I was being stupid. Isn't it more stupid to refuse to move away a few meters so that I don't have to hear his gross eating? I just found this a really rude reaction to an understandable, one-off request. Or am I wrong? AITA? ######

Response: YTA.  If you had an issue, you could have gotten up and moved. ######


Prompt:
My (32F) sister (34F) only eats super plain food. She sometimes boils unseasoned potatoes as a snack. She boils all her vegetables. She only eats plain crisps. She doesn't season anything, ever, even chicken. If a recipe calls for 4 chillies, she'll use half of one, or omit it entirely. When I went to stay with her over Xmas, she insisted on cooking for me, but I had to season all my own food on the plate to give it even an ounce of flavour. It's not a health thing, she says that food should 'taste like what it is' and that seasoning is 'cheating'.

Every Wednesday for the past 6 years, my wife and I have eaten a particular curry that we love. It's not super spicy, probably a 6.5/10 on the spice scale. We look forward to it every week and I've got cooking it down to a fine art. My sister came for dinner last Wednesday, and when I her that this is what we'd be having, she told me to cook it 'not spicy' and to only use 1 chilie. The recipe asked for 4. I told her that it wasn't that spicy and I was going to cook it the way my wife and I like it, and that my sister could add some plain yoghurt to hers to cool it down if it was too spicy for her.

That's what I did, and my sister got annoyed at me. She said that I was being a bad host by making her food that she couldn't eat, as when I'd gone to her house I'd been able to season my food on the plate. She said I should have been able to go one week without the curry to accommodate her dietary preferences and that it made her feel unwelcome. I feel like adding yoghurt to her curry was a viable option for her, akin to me having to season my own food at hers, and that she's being hypocritical. My wife says she doesn't want to get involved but that she sees my sister's point as we were hosts and should have been more sensitive to what she likes to eat. Was I the asshole here? ######

Response: YTA.  I'm sure it's annoying, yeah.  But you offered to cook her dinner, and then refused to make it in a way she would like.  Yes, yes, I know, yoghurt, but from experience with people that averse to spice, that often doesn't make a difference.  Make a small side batch of mild curry, make something different, or don't offer in the first place ######


Prompt:
So in our drama class, we decided to host a play. The play goes around the central theme of twins being mistaken for each other and deciding on taking advantage of that. The entire play is based on the fact that the twins are identical.

We decided on doing this play because my best friend has an identical twin, and they both are in drama.  However, we still had to hold an audition for fairness and for the other roles, and I was the casting director.

My best friend (lets call her twin 1) auditioned for the role of twin 1 and got it, but when it came to the role of twin 2, another girl came to audition. It was her and twin 1's twin, and I decided to give the role to the twin for obvious reasons (it is necessary for the twins to be identical).

Non-twin filed a complaint to the school and the drama council that I was racist (my friend was white and so was her twin, while non-twin was black) and I had to explain that while she did a great job, but to be in the play you have to look similar to the twin and be fitted to the character. She said that I was racist and that her skin color should not limit her roles.

Anyway, I was cut off from my drama club, and I am shunned by my entire school. There are people who don't think I am racist, but they are too afraid to say so. I saw the practice of the play, and I HATE how people are pretending the story makes sense, but since they look so different, it absolutely looks crazy. Imagine the whole point of the story being that A and B look alike, but A is a 5'7 white girl and B is a 5'2 black girl. I think people are crazy for pretending they look identical, and that "they do not see a difference". Maybe I am racist for not letting a girl get the role for how she looked/the color of her skin, but I know if she was white I would not have given her the role and nobody would call me racist.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 YTA.  I say this because you had already cast those roles.  You say that "we still had to hold an audition for fairness", but this isn't actually the case.  You held auditions so you could be justified in your choice.

In these circumstances, the honest thing to do would have been to announce that the twin roles were pre-cast.  That might have caused its own problems, but at least nobody would have auditioned with false expectations.

As it is, you have indeed been racist. ######


Prompt:
I (22f) have a younger sister who is 19. When we were both young teenagers, we went through a lot, and our dad ended up leaving. Our mom turned to drugs and alcohol, and my sister and I responded completely differently. I threw myself into my academics and school work, and my sister went down the same path as our mom.

Two years ago, our mom OD’d and my sister had a major wake up call. She vowed to never touch a single drug again and went completely cold turkey. She had bad withdrawals for a while but eventually completely got her life back together. She went to college, got a good job, all that.

Over the past five months or so, I’ve noticed a massive change in my sister. She was suddenly really withdrawn, and always seemed high. I had seen her in a constant state of euphoria for years, and just thought deep down that she was using again. I’m really anxious when it comes to the well-being of my family, so broke down to my boyfriend and asked him what to do. I later decided that night that I would create a fake Tinder account and talk to my sister, in the hopes of finding out what was going on. I knew she had tinder and we quickly matched.

Our conversations turned deep pretty quickly, with her opening up to “me” about our past and her addictions etc. This was over a few days which I felt guilty about but I wanted to find out what was going on. She told me that she’d been fighting cravings for a while, but knew that she’d never go back after seeing our mom. I slowly ghosted her until we didn’t talk anymore.

I ended up having a conversation with my sister a couple days later and told her about the profile I made to find out, she absolutely flipped her shit and couldn’t believe that I didn’t trust her after she insisted she was never going to do it again. I told her I was only looking out for her. AITA? ######

Response: YTA.  I know it was well-intended, but you invaded her privacy and she told you in confidence without even knowing it was you.  How can she trust you now knowing you don't trust her? ######


Prompt:
A few months ago, my 24 year old daughter was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. She has been taking prednisone to help with the inflammation so that she can keep foods down. Prednisone is not to be taken long-term, so her doctor wants her to start on a biologic drug called Humira. I am very much against this, because these drugs are strong immune system suppressants that also have the potential to cause cancer... Nasty stuff.

For years and years I've done research on natural remedies and supplements that are good for the body.. I raised my kids on them and I believe that with a strict diet and consistently taking dietary supplements, my daughter's inflammation will go down and she wont NEED to take the crappy medicine her doctor recommends. But my daughter wants to take the biologic medicine.. instead of putting in the hard work to achieve a healthy anti-inflammatory diet. She won't listen to me no matter what I tell her about the medicine and what these supplements will do for her..

Initially I said that I would not help pay for this medicine (it's expensive). She said that she would "find a way" to afford it herself.. She works part-time at Target. She still planned on getting the medicine so I told her that if she decided to go the biologic route, her stepfather will be taking her off of our insurance. I told her this out of desperation, because I really do not want her on this stuff. She started crying over the phone, which wasn't what I intended. Of course I love my daughter and I don't want to make her cry, but I feel like this is the best thing to do for her. AITA? ######

Response: YTA.  I have Crohn’s disease, and if it wasn’t for biologics I would be dead right now.  I tried to go with natural remedies as long as I could and ended up doing more damage because I refused  the biologics at first.   Your method is wrong.  This is a real disease, and not something you can just “overcome”. It never goes away, and the best we can hope for is remission (usually with biologics or colostomy bags).  So please reconsider your perspective on this issue, because you aren’t a doctor and don’t truly understand.  I truly hope that she can get her own insurance and assiance from humera so that she can be independent of your bias. ######


Prompt: I(24M) am getting married to my gf(25f) next year in tuscon on our anniversary .  I sent out invites to the wedding to people in my friend circle . The next day another friend of mine announced to the group that she was getting married at the same place a month before i am getting married. I felt that people would attend her wedding since it came first and most of them wouldn't be able to afford a trip for mine within the  one month gap. I got mad at her and told her that if she wouldn't change the date , the friendship between us would be over . To which she complied and changed the date to the anniversary of  meeting her fiance which is in January . She called me a loser and has been ignoring me for these few days . AITA for making her change the dates? ######

Response: YTA.  I didn’t know toddlers could get married.... ######


Prompt:
Earlier this year we sat down and had a talk about marriage. It's something we both want, and we agreed that we'll get engaged sometime before the end of the year. I was very clear to my GF that it will happen this year but would not give her a more specific time frame than that because I want it to be a surprise when it happens. She was fine with that as long as we get engaged this year. That's all that matters to her or so she said.

A couple of her friends recently got engaged which is when she started pressure me to propose sooner rather than later. I told her I was still in the process of planning things, which is true, and she'd have to wait. From that point on it seemed like every day or every couple days I was getting aggressive hints about proposing.

It eventually got out of hand and so last week when she again did this it upset me enough that I got down on my knee and started saying things that made it sound like I was going to propose. I sort of intended it to be sarcasm, which is often how I express frustration, but it didn't come across that way. She started to get excited so I quickly stopped and told her I wasn't proposing but that she needed to stop rushing me.

She thinks what I did was really cruel but I don't see it that way. I see it as a poor attempt to tell her to be patient but not anything way out of line. ######

Response: YTA.  I did this to my now fiancée and made her cry.  This was a total asshole move by both you and I.  I made up by doing an awesome proposal but I acknowledge this was one of the stupidest, cruelest things I’ve ever done. ######


Prompt:
My wife of eight years and I have a seven year old son together, seven since May. We've had our rough patches, but I can say with certainty we've never had any major disagreements about how to raise our son.

We were out shopping a few days ago and split up to cover ground more quickly. Once I'd grabbed the things I was supposed to grab, I texted my wife to find out where she was, and she responded she had to use the restroom. So I decided to go wait by the restrooms at the front of the store. In the store in our town, there's 3 bathrooms: a men's, a women's, and a single person unisex bathroom. I didn't see my son waiting outside, so I assumed he was in the men's room. He's always been more than capable of using it by himself before.

So I was surprised to see them come out of the unisex bathroom together. I asked her if she'd been the one using it and she said she was, so I asked her why she took our son with her. I admit I might've sounded accusatory when doing it. She said she didn't want to leave him alone, I asked her why she didn't have him wait in the men's room or come find me to watch him. She said she didn't think she needed to. Our conversation stopped there.

My son later sought me out at home to ask me about the 'fight' his mom and me had at the store. I told him we weren't fighting. And I told him that was wrong and he should refuse if there's ever a situation like that again. Well, it turns out he was going between us, because he came back to me later to tell me his my wife said he wasn't in trouble because she said it was okay (I never told my son he was in trouble over it). We haven't discussed the matter, but there's kind of a 'mood' in the house because we realize we're telling our son things behind the other's back.

Surely I'm not the asshole here? At 7 years old, that was very inappropriate, and it's my job to tell my son what is and isn't appropriate. ######

Response:
 YTA.  How in the world was in inappropriate!?  Leaving an unattended 7 year old would be inappropriate.  Even sending him into the men's room while she wasn't right outside waiting but in her own bathroom would've been inappropriate.  Please explain how being in a bathroom with someone that is your parent is inappropriate.

She ensured  your son's safety and I'm certain she had him turn away as she was using the toilet.  If he was 17, sure I could see you being like wtf wife, but he is only 7 for goodness sake.  I've done the same thing at that age.  You don't ever compromise your kid's safety by leaving them outside of a bathroom at a store at that age. ######


Prompt:
When my husband and I got married, we agreed that he would work and I would stay home and raise our kids.

Now we have two kids. Our son is 17 while our daughter is 7. Our daughter has special needs ( don’t want to get into it too much). We have a part time babysitter to help out with teaching her how to socialize.

She goes to public school, but teachers are always concerned about the fact that she’s very behind socially and learning wise.

At our last chat with school administrators they suggested that we look into sending her to a private special education school because the staff there were more trained and they think our daughter could benefit from more resources.

My husband said that we couldn’t afford to keep our daughter in this school more than a semester with our family finances.

Yesterday he sat me down and said that he printed out job listings for part time receptionist level positions and started begging me to apply. He also said that if I didn’t do that I really shouldn’t have a charge account at a local department store.

I was extremely offended because when we married he promised me that he would always take care of the family.

And I married him thinking that we had shared values that this would be a marriage where my job was to stay home and care for the kids.

In addition, I used to work reception 18 years ago but always told him about how it was a very demeaning job. I just feel I can’t deal with the emotional stress of customers even for four hours a day and still be a good mom.

So I told my husband that I didn’t want to get a job and that I shouldn’t have to. He’s a mover with a company but also freelances, but recently he’s taken less and less freelance jobs that could have contributed to the household.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA.  He literally sat you down and begged you to get a job and you were... offended?   Jesus Christ. ######


Prompt:
My sister is 21 and I am 36M.

My parents died a few years ago and left their estate and business to me. My sister has a trust fund she can access when she’s 25. Until then, I am paying for all her expenses, including college tuition and if she wants to eat out or go shopping.

My sister and I have had a great relationship for her whole life. She’s the type that never goes out, never parties in college, and calls me every day when she’s away at school.

But when she turned 21, it’s like a switch flipped and she started talking about wanting to go out and meet guys. I encouraged her to find a guy who she could see herself in a long term relationship or a marriage with, but she said she feels like she missed out on college life.

Yesterday when she was at her primary physician’s office she asked the doctor if they could look into birth control. Then she asks me, in front of the doctor, if it’s ok for her to get it. I felt irritated to have been put on the spot and said we’d talk about it.

When we got home, I said that our dad disapproved of birth control and I did as well, and I couldn’t just let her do everything she wanted just because our father was gone.

She started crying and I reminded her that it was my money and I have been more than generous with her, letting her get designer bags that she wanted that my mom probably would have made her show her good semester grades for.

AITA? Because overall I feel that I am able to spend my money how I please and in addition, my family is very traditional and I don’t want to go against my father’s values just because he is not here. I feel she should focus on her studies and then later when she’s 23 and out of college focus on finding a man that’s also a life partner.

I feel that if I give her that green light she will end up contracting diseases and in general develop a bad reputation which would be a shame because she is universally well liked by family, friends, professors, and classmates alike. ######

Response:
 YTA.  First you act like you ARE her father, and second, she is now old enough to make her own contraceptive choices.

Do you want her getting pregnant?

Generally when an adult tries to get contraception, they are being responsible about stuff they are going to do anyway.  Deal with it. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I had a baby girl about 8 weeks ago. I love her, but to me she looks like any other baby I've ever seen. I don't think she looks like either myself or my wife, which is fine. I don't think she should at this point, and even if she never does, so what? It's not a big deal. However, my family is different.

When my parents visited us my mother went on and on about how much my daughter looks like me. Then my wife joined in and started saying the same thing; she has said it before but this time was much more over the top. I thought they both were being ridiculous since I didn't see any resemblance myself, and I told them I thought they were imagining things.

This led to them both trying to convince me of how much my daughter looks like me. I kept denying it until finally the conversation ended.

My wife has been upset ever since that day because I continue to deny that I see any likeness. She has taken my denials to mean I don't think our daughter is mine and is demanding we get a paternity test done now because I refuse to say my daughter looks like me. She also is upset because she says that I embarrassed her by "denying" our daughter in front of my mom.

I don't want or need one, but why is it a crime to say I don't think our daughter looks like me? She and my mother both act like I am the asshole for simply stating facts or my belief. I don't understand their weird obsession or why I have to agree to see things that aren't there or be the asshole. Had they not make such a big deal out of it and tried to force me into admitting something I don't believe then I would not have said anything.

This whole situation is confusing, and I don't understand how I could be the asshole. ######

Response: YTA.  Dude.  You know exactly why you're the asshole here.  Your wife's told you.  If it's not that big a deal to you whether the baby looks like you, fine: just say that she's her own person, and you look forward to watching her grow.  Don't go out of your way to reject the connection. ######


Prompt:
I work as attorney. I focus on criminal law so I'm pretty versed in other areas of law. My partner has a friend ("Diana") who loves giving out legal advice even though she is not a lawyer. For example, another friend of my partner said she might be fired soon. Diana claimed that an employer can't just fire you without a reason and if they do then you sue them. Ignorant shit like that.

My favorite is when she say "don't worry, everything will be okay" when in reality, based on the problem they have, they SHOULD be worried. The lawyer in me wants to jump in and correct her. I don't because that ends up with my going in some rabbit hole with people who can't handle being wrong and usually resort calling you "racist" or something. Diana would turn it into a debate about her beliefs and not what's lawful/unlawful.  So I let them shoot themselves in the foot.

The other night, another friend of hers posted a concern she had about taxes on FB. Diana gave a very incorrect answer (which was to the effect of "you will loose more money if you do that with your taxes!") to her question. I injected and asked them if they wanted some real legal advice, which they did. I said never seek legal advice from people who don't know the difference between "loose" and "lose." That humiliated her.

My partner said I was out of line and Diana was trying to help. I said Diana has no business dispensing legal advice when she has no idea what she's talking about. ######

Response: YTA.  Attorney here and quite honestly, most criminal law attorneys know next to nothing about transactional law, unless they are white collar crime defense attorneys.  Even then, I find it insufferable to hear your insinuation that you’re “pretty well-versed in other areas of law,” because it’s just incredibly unlikely and you sound like a total snob.  So first demerit falls there.  Lay people give weird advice about the law all the time.  I see it happen everyday.  But it is an asshole move to use your educational privilege to make someone feel small.  You gave no meaningful correction or help to her advice; and instead chose to ridicule her intelligence—which not cool. ######


Prompt:
My husband and I will be getting married in August. I have 7 bridesmaids, one of which was supposed to be my best friend, Rachel. Rachel and I have been best friends since we were 4 and I love the girl to death. Rachel wears glasses as she was born with a squint and has an astigmatism.

When the topic came up, I told her I’d like her to wear contacts for my wedding as they’re easier to work with when it comes to makeup, more aesthetically pleasing and makes sure there’s no glare in wedding photos which is obviously essential. Rachel refused as she struggles wearing contacts as they don’t help her sight at all apparently. Her prescription is supposedly too strong.

I told her she couldn’t be a part of my wedding party if she wasn’t going to listen to my requests and my friends have all said that it was really uncalled for. It’s my wedding so I think it should be a given that I get what I want but everyone seems to think I’ve been really unfair. AITA? ######

Response: YTA.  Are you serious?  She can take off her glasses for your photos.  But for the service itself, do all the bridesmaids have to be Vogue models?  I guarantee you’re the only one who cares about her glasses.  You are about to lose a friend for life. ######


Prompt:
My 19yo son is about 6ft and needs to lose about 20 pounds. He was always skinny, but I suspect his eating habits got bad while he was at college and he just wasn't working out. He's been home since March and I've been egging him to go to workout with me. He doesn't want to. We had a 4th of July picture taken of us and he could no longer hide that belly. I tell my son discreetly that he has put on weight and he denies it. He says I am the only one who tells him that.

Tonight, he came home with Taco Bell. I don't think I've had Taco Bell since high school and I would rather have let my kids starve before feeding them that garbage. My younger son who is 9 asked him what he had. He had order three burritos and these churro things. Oh, and a Dr. Pepper. My son replied "no wonder you're so fat." It came out of so left-field that I couldn't help but to laugh. My 9yo is hardly mean. He's just very blunt and observant. ######

Response: YTA.  And your 9 year old isn’t much better. ######


Prompt:
My late wife passed away three years ago, I been married with my current wife for 6 months now.
My son (15) disrespects my wife and would always hurt her with his words.

I tried to get him to get used to his new life but he always says he can't wait to leave.

My son has always wanted to go to college, he's aiming to go study at his favorite which is out of the state.
He wants to be a doctor it's his dream, his mom passed away from cancer and he said he wanted to be a doctor, do researches to help people with this type of diesease, I thought that this shows the good side of him and how emapathatic he can be, I just don t get why he doesn't get along with his stepmom, she's always nice to him, her feelings were hurt when he yelled at her for cleaning up his room this morning.

I told him that if he doesn't start treating my wife with respect then I won't save up any money for his college and will just send him to a tuition-free community college.

He got mad at me, told me I was trying to buy him with my money, and that I was being a horrible daf, he brought up his friends and how lucky they were to have good dads, I cut the conversation and told him to go to his room, he started crying and said that I care about what my wife wants more than him.

I was just trying to give him consequences for his behavior but it just got worse, he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. ######

Response:
 YTA.  An appropriate consequence for teenage backtalk is more along the lines of no car privileges or taking video games away for a week.  Not threatening the kid's life ambitions.

Also, how long were you and your wife together before you got married?  What steps did you take to introduce her to your son?  Did you talk to him about the fact that you moving on didn't mean you were trying to replace his mom, or did you just plop this woman into his life and expect him to treat her like the person he's still clearly mourning?  Y'all need family therapy, not punitive measures. ######


Prompt: My friend has desperately wanted a pair of Vans Classics but can't afford £60 for them. Today we met up and she had a pair on which I was surprised at but she was so excited to finally have a pair. I asked her where she got them from and she said eBay. I commented on the fact she's said she can't afford a pair but she said with a massive smile 'I got them for £15, someone was selling their old ones that they have barely worn'. The shoes did look pretty new but I told her wearing second hand shoes is disgusting as you don't know who's worn them before you and what germs they might be carrying on their feet. She told me to mind my own business as not everyone can afford brand new stuff and she grew up being dressed in charity shops due to her parents being poor. I told her clothes are different as you wash them before wearing them which she sharply replied 'well I'll wash these shoes if you're going to make such a big deal about it' and changed the subject. I'm starting to feel a bit bad now for what I said as she genuinely seemed hurt ######

Response: YTA.  2nd hand shoes gross you out, but I'm guessing you've used a public toilet.. ######


Prompt:
It’s as simple as that. We like each other, we support each other, we do things for each other often.  It irked me that he needed me, his wife, to sew a button on his pants because he didn’t know how (that was his explanation about why I should do it.)  It felt demeaning in that ‘because you are a woman and I am a man and this is your job’ kind of way.

So should he have noodled out how to thread a needle and poke it through a buttonhole, or should I have done it ‘just to be nice’?

I didn’t do it. He took the pants to the dry cleaner to have it done. ######

Response: YTA.  “We like each other, we support each other, we do things for each other often.”  Well, I guess that’s not true. ######


Prompt:
So my daughter’s 7th birthday was last month and my mother-in-law got her these dolls called LOL dolls from target. They looked like mini versions of Bratz dolls but I didn’t think anything of it as they looked like regular dolls. These dolls happen to be my daughter’s favorite toys and I actually bought her more of these dolls from Target.

Well, today I was scrolling on Facebook and this viral video of a mom warning about these dolls. She undressed the dolls and dipped the dolls in water, once the dolls were dipped in water they start wearing lingerie. my jaw dropped, some of the dolls had fishnets on, lower back tattoos, stockings, and bondage outfits. Part of me thought this is too disgusting to be true so I took some of my daughters dolls in a bowl of water and it wasn’t a conspiracy theory, two of the dolls had lingerie on when i dipped them in water. This was no where to be seen on the packaging or any of the information that came with the toys.

I felt so disgusted that i even bought these toys so i threw them all away. when my daughter found out she had a full on melt down and screamed at me. I couldn’t tell her the full extent of why i threw them away so I told her that the dolls had on inappropriate clothing when you dipped them in water.

i told my mother-in-law about the dolls and showed her the facebook video and she’s now very angry with me saying that the dolls weren’t inappropriate and apart of their rocker aesthetic.    she’s demanding that i pay her back the money she spent on the dolls because they were expensive. I don’t know if anyone else saw the facebook video but am i in the right for throwing the dolls away? ######

Response:
 YTA.

You are right to be concerned.  But you also need to respect that those dolls didn't belong to you, they belonged to your daughter.  And you need to consider not just the impact on your daughter if she figures out the dip in water thing, but also the **impact on your relationship with your daughter caused by taking her possessions she loves and destroying them**.  Imagine if someone took away something you love and trashed it- you'd probably want them out of your life ASAP.

I want you to take a step back for a moment.  Imagine your daughter sees an image of a woman in fishnets, with a tattoo, stockings, etc.  Would she even know what that is?  How much ACTUAL harm do you think would be done?  And when (be realistic) do you think she will encounter this image on her own (perhaps in movies or TV)?

OTOH, how much harm do you think was done when her mother, the person she trusts (trusted) most in the world, someone she would go to with her problems, someone who she *knows* loves her more than anything, takes her possessions and trashes them without warning or explanation?  That teaches her that mother is not to be trusted, mother will sometimes do malicious things (from her POV) and won't have much reason why.  And so she learns, maybe that unconditional love for mom shouldn't be so unconditional.

That doesn't mean you aren't right to be upset about the dolls.  What you should maybe have tried is explain to her that under some circumstances the clothing on the dolls can change, explained to her the difference between appropriate and inappropriate clothing (IE people should cover their private parts), and explain that sometimes things that are bad are presented as being cool or fun by people who want you to buy or do bad things.
Or maybe you could have explained that there was a problem with the toys and their manufacturing got screwed up so they are dangerous, so you want to trade with her- she will give up the LOL dolls but you will replace them with something good of her choice so let's go to Amazon or the toy store and pick something out together.
Or you could have been patient, and waited for her to get bored of the LOL dolls, and then it would have been easier to get rid of them.
Or you could have been clever- give the dolls a coating with some pink spraypaint or a permanent paint marker.  Thus the 'hidden outfit' never appears.  This could even have been an activity you do with her.

Your protective emotion comes from the right place.  But you need to keep it in check and recognize that YOU CAN HURT HER way more than a doll with some paint on it. ######


Prompt:
My (28M) fiancee (26F) found out it was probably going to be extremely difficult for her to have kids, if not, impossible about a month ago after a couple of tests & doctors appointments & whatnot.

She new for A MONTH & didn’t say a single word to me.

I didn’t even find out about it from her. I found out because my sister asked me how I am dealing with it.

I came home and asked my fiancee if it was true & she very reluctantly confirmed it. I lost my temper, yelled at her, & she just stood there, not saying a word, not yelling, not offering an explanation LIKE SHE SHOULD HAVE. She just stood there crying and trying to make ME feel back for HER.

We were supposed to get married in November, but I don’t know anymore. Neither of us has spoken to each other since yesterday when I found out.

I always wanted kids of my own (not adopted, not surrogate) and we have talked about having kids in the distant future more times than I can count. Tbh, if she had know about this earlier in our relationship, I probably would no have moved forward.

I thought we had good communication, but clearly not.

I loved our relationship before, but now she’s lying to me and might not be able to have kids. Obviously there is more to our relationship than just kids, but it's something I've alway wanted.

AITA?

Tl;dr: my fiancee found out she's infertile a month ago and i found out from my sister. We argued about it and haven't talked since. Now I don't know what to do. ######

Response:
 YTA.

Look, i get that you have anger here.  You wanted to have kids and your fiance just found out that's not possible and you're feeling a keen loss here.  I'm a father myself - i cannot fathom what you're going through.

But your hurt and upset and anger?  ***How can you take it out on the woman who just found out her own body betrayed her?***  Take your head out of your ass, man.  Your fiance is *hurting* right now in a way you and I cannot possibly understand because we're men.

Ok, she didn't tell you right away...you can be angry about that.  But your overreaction suggests to me that *this is what she was justifiably worried about*.

I mean, you've gone from loving this person enough to spend your life together to throwing her away because she can't provide you biological children?  You asshole.

She's lucky to have escaped you. ######


Prompt:
My GF has asked for space after our recurrent arguments and stated her family was angry w/me for some of what I said.  But we have continued to text and call throughout said space.  So yesterday I figured I'd go to her house (while she was not there) to visit them and just to blunt the blow of their anger toward me.  No family member made any comments and it was seemingly going all right, then my GF came back from work and asked me on the side "what are you doing here?".  I replied with "visiting".  Two hours later my GF says we need to talk so we go outside and immediately begin to argue.  She says I disrespected her need for space and came to her house uninvited and she wondered what my true goal was.  I responded by saying the last time her family was mad at me they chewed me out for not coming by for a couple weeks so I did not want to repeat that, and said regardless of her and my issues, they're still family and I wanted to just simply visit to see how they are.

Edit 1:  It's clear I made the wrong move and am the AH.  I'll follow through with her need for space as I should have the first time.  Thank you all. ######

Response:
 YTA.

Do not drop in to someone's house uninvited and stay for hours.

Do not drop by someone's house during a pandemic.

La k of direct comments by her family upon you arrival mean they are polite or want to avoid confrontation.  Not that they were excited to have you come spend hours at their house against their daughter's wishes.

If someone says I need space you give them space.

They aren't your family.  Cut the crap.  If you legit had concerns about them being upset you didn't visit every two weeks then you talk to your friend about your intentions and do not ambush her. ######


Prompt:
Context: I go to uni and draw as a hobby and as a way to get some money. I did various drawing lessons when I was younger and Im a very qualified and talented artist.

So my aunt(42f), uncle(40sm) and my cousin(6m) are staying at my house(parents house), and today my cousin put his filthy kid hands at the sketch of a drawing I was going to produce. I screamed at him many times and he started to cry, both my parents and his parents got mad at me and they said it was just a drawing and it doenst justify to scream at a kid, but danm, he is 6, not a fucking toddler, he is aware of his actions and if his parents dont teach him manners I will. After that shit I took some food and water and locked myself at my room so this little devil doenst touch my drawings again. Am I the asshole? It just doenst make sense that my parents got mad at me, I mean, I understand why his parents got angry since they are helicopter/overprotective parents, but not my parents. ######

Response: YTA.  "Sketch of drawing" not the drawing?  Screamed "many times"?  You are too much. ######


Prompt:
My parents are really good looking. Like you’d think they were movie stars if they walked past you on the road.

I’m a 15 year old girl. Recently, I’ve started to notice that I’m quite plain looking as compared to my family. I stand out as the ugly duckling in family photos. Even people who see my with mom or dad find it hard to believe that I’m their offspring.My baby brother is a very cute kid too. He’s always getting compliments on how he’s gonna be a great looking lad when he grows up.

 I don’t really care about the looks part, it doesn’t bother me much. But I was very curious as to how two people as good looking as my parents made a child as average as me. I thought maybe I took after one of my grandparents or relatives, but nope, they all look great too. I’ve tried asking this to my parents and they’ve brushed me off saying that I look good. My mom had an average looking boyfriend before dad happened and I asked her if it was possible that I was his child. Or from any other possible affair.

Dad told me that I shouldn’t be cooking up conspiracy theories in my head and if I was having any self esteem issues, I should feel free to talk to them or to a therapist. Mom is still being a bit cold towards me. I love my parents but I was just being a nosy idiot. I didn’t mean to disrespect my mom. I’ve tried apologising to her but she’s told me that I crossed a line and to give her some time.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA.   You absolutely crossed a line in accusing your mother of having an affair with absolutely zero evidence to support that accusation. ######


Prompt:
For the record my wife knew what an asshole I was when she married me and therefore consented to all of these pranks. I probably do more to her but when she wants to get even she is straight up vicious.

I have six year old twins who just started virtual kindergarten and one of their first project was to do a science experiment. It didn’t have to be very scientific. Basically they just had to make a prediction about something and do it to see if they were right or not. Parents are allowed to help since it is kindergarten. All of the ideas they were coming would have been very hard to execute, so I came up with the idea to put their moms hand in warm water and see if we could make her piss herself.

The kids thought it was fun, they wrote their little sentence, and my wife was not happy about the pictures being sent in but like I said, we do this stuff to each other and she was not seriously angry.

The teacher said it was inappropriate and teaching my kids to “hurt” people for fun. I thought that was ridiculous and an insult to our parenting. I told her that she is misinformed and ignorant. She’s only been their teacher for two weeks, she knows nothing about us, and my wife was out but if she was there she would call her ignorant as well. My wife said the teacher is ridiculous but I shouldn’t be picking fights two weeks in. ######

Response: YTA.   This isn't a science experiment, it's a prank that caused embarrassment to your wife and was done without her consent. ######


Prompt:
This happened a few years ago. I was at a waterpark with a few friends for my birthday. It was a group of 15. We all planned to just pay for ourselves and have a good few hours, but one of my friends decided he would pay for everyone as a gift to me. I tried to talk him out of it but he insisted on spending nearly $600 so no one else had to pay.

A few hours after, we all decided to congregate near the food court and get something to eat. The friend who paid for everyone's admission didn't order any food and instead thought we'd all share with him. Some people gave him a couple fries, someone bought him a drink, but I didn't want to share my food. I had a burrito, how do you even share that?

Upon hearing I wouldn't share, he got cold and left the waterpark early. I actually haven't spoken to him since then because he removed me from Facebook.

This is a situation I think about often when I'm laying in bed. Was I in the wrong for not sharing despite him spending $600 for the group? It was my birthday, why should I even share? ######

Response:
 YTA.   In a situation like this, you should have gone ahead and shared or asked what he wanted and paid for it in exchange for him paying for your ticket.    It was extremely socially awkward of you not to and I see why it keeps you up at nights.

So glad that burrito was worth losing a friend over. ######


Prompt: My bedroom is in the bottom floor of my house about 10 feet away from my sisters bedroom, meaning I can smell and hear everything in it. Everything is usually fine regarding this except for the fact that she pisses her bed nightly when she's in 6th grade. I normally can't say anything about it because my mom defends her and believes that confronting her will cause physiological damage. My sister has told my dad that she's too lazy to get out of her bed at night and use the bathroom, so she just doesn't care. Meanwhile I have to smell piss from my bed every night and day and recently I've reached a breaking point. I go into her room and struggle not to gag as I speak my mind. My mom heard this and proceeds to go wild on me and my dad who agrees that my sisters habbit is ridiculous. Now I'm grounded and my sister continues to pee her bed and will continue to do so as my mom will defend her til she moves out of the house. AITA for just wanting my room and the area around it to stop smelling like my 12 year old sisters piss? ######

Response:
 YTA.   12 year olds don’t just piss the bed because they are lazy; enuresis is a medical issue.   She likely told your dad that she was being lazy because she was too embarrassed to admit that she wasn’t able to hold it, or that by the time she woke up it was too late.

Don’t be mad at your sister, if anything, be mad at your parents for not seeking medical attention for you sister.  When you go for you next check up at the pediatrician, I would make sure you tell the pediatrician your sisters problem in case your sister or your parents don’t. ######


Prompt:
My daughter and her husband (34 and 33 respectively) just went through a second failed IVF cycle.

At the realization that they failed yet again to become parents, her husband was devastated. They live in New York but he said he’s going to extend his business trip in South Beach and stay with a friend for a few weeks to catch up.

My daughter is asking me for money to get counseling. She recently lost her corporate job and her husband refuses to pay for counseling or go. The only available therapist that specializes in infertility counseling in her area is apparently out of network.

My daughter tells me that she doesn’t know when she can pay me back because her husband controls most of the finances.

And to be honest, I wasn’t sympathetic to her cause because when she was 21, she was pregnant and even her boyfriend at the time was a great man (unlike what we all think of her current husband) and intended raise the baby with her, she said that she didn’t want to “do this” with a 36 year old and aborted it.

All signs at the time pointed to a healthy pregnancy and we were all mentally prepared to help her through it and babysit it, and what she did upset a lot of people.

I do feel like she threw away the chance to be a mother because of her need for everything to line up and be perfect.

So I told her that I was really reluctant to spend a bunch of money to comfort her and assuage her feelings when she’s apparently forgotten that she had a healthy pregnancy but didn’t appreciate her expected child at that time.

And for that reason I don’t really want to give her the money and will not. AITA? I just don’t think there’s much more to accept than the fact that she had a chance before and she opted out of it, and because of that she has to accept she may never be a parent and move on from it, just like her father and I have had to, with no sympathy from her. ######

Response:
 YTA.    It’s disgusting that you would withhold help for your daughter because she had an abortion before she was ready to be a parent.

Not wanting to give her money is one thing and perfectly fine; not wanting to give her money because she has an abortion 13 years ago is disgusting. ######


Prompt:
Earlier today, I had orientation for a new job. It was basically just a candy store in a local mall. It's not much, but I figured that it would beat my dead-end call center job. Me and a small group of other new hires arrived and were given a basic lesson on customer service and handling the cash register, but then came a moment where the manager called a 10 minute break while he set up our next lesson in another room in the back.

Us new hires just hung around and I decided that since I was on break, I could get a quick bite to eat. There was a Wetzel Pretzel right beneath us on the lower level of the mall and I decided to run there really quickly. One of the new hires told me that that wasn't a good idea, but I told him that we were legally entitled to a break. I ran off and tried to be quick in getting a bag of pretzel bites and a lemonade.

But when I returned, the group was gone and I had to find what room they were in. I knocked on the door and the manager showed up and asked me where I went. I told him that I was just getting a snack while on break, but he said that it "wasn't those types of break". I tried to get into the training room with my pretzels and drink, but then the manager said that it's probably best if I go home. I admit that I didn't look my best. I had spilled a little cheese on my shirt and my fingers were covered in grease, but I was still wanting to continue with the orientation. But the manager said that I just can't wander off like that and that I should take my food and home.

It was embarrassing. The other new hires saw the whole thing and some of them were laughing at me. I just think it weird that the manager called a break, and then acted all shocked when I behaved like someone going on their break. And now it looks like I'm out of a new job. AITA? ######

Response: YTA.    Absolutely you embarrassed yourself.  If it wasn’t a meal break, you shouldn’t have left the store.  10 minutes is not long enough to walk down to the store, order food, eat it, and come back . Spilled cheese and greasy fingers are just the icing on the cake.  Incredibly unprofessional. ######


Prompt:
I have an 8 year old daughter, and to make college more easily accessible for her, my ex wife and I each put money into a shared fund for her. My ex wife and I do not get along, but we make an effort for the sake of our daughter.

At the end of last year, my car basically blew up. Completely blew a gasket, broke down every time I drove it and ended up being written off. My current wife and I decided to save for a new car, and to wait for one I was sure I wanted as I loved my old car.

On my way home from work I drive past a really high end car dealership, basically sells vintage top class cars. They’re absolutely beautiful but I’ve never went in because they’re extremely expensive. A few days ago I drove past it and thought why not, I’ll have a look and just not buy anything. I walked in and saw a truly beautiful Mustang, rang my wife and told her I’d found the car I wanted. We hadn’t saved enough so I used the money from our savings, and without thinking dipped into the college fund my ex wife and I have for our daughter. It was just under $15,000.

I rang my ex wife after I’d bought it to tell her, and assured her I’d put the money back in, but she went ballistic telling me that she’d basically just paid for my car as she puts more money in monthly than I do. I said that was ridiculous and that it doesn’t matter because it’s my money too. She’s now going on about suing me and all sorts which is just ridiculous. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA!!!

You could have bought a car that was more than enough for your needs for a much, MUCH lower price. You took that money and spent it on a vanity, not a necessity. ######


Prompt:
So a bit of a backstory is I’m a (27M) in a relationship with a (25M). We’ve been together for two years now, and I do love my boyfriend. The only thing is that he has a pretty severe stutter. His speech impediment isn’t so bad when it’s just me and him, but his anxiety towards his speech goes through the roof when we’re out in public.

In the beginning of our relationship, he would always have me order or speak on his behalf because it lessened his anxiety. But for the past couple months, he’s been taking speech therapy classes and is determined to speak for himself now out in public. The only thing is that he still cannot speak well. Nobody understands him at restaurants, and what should be a quick two minute chat turns into a 30 minute drawn out conversation where the other person is clearly uncomfortable because they can’t understand him.

So I’ve been continuing to speak on his behalf to make things easier for everyone, even though that goes against his wishes and it’s obvious he’s angry with me. He said he needs to practice speaking, but isn’t that what his therapy is for? It obviously makes other people uncomfortable and causes anxiety for my boyfriend, even though he’s trying not to admit it. So am AITA for continuing to speak on his behalf even though he’s told me to stop? ######

Response: YTA! He needs to do this on his own and you’re being really inconsiderate. Yes, it’s going to be awkward. He won’t overcome this overnight, but this is his battle to overcome. Let him do that. ######


Prompt:
Celia dumped me last night and gave me a list of reasons why.  Some of them I can understand why and I should have been a better boyfriend to her but there is one that I don't get where's shes coming from.

My now ex turned twenty one in November 2018.  We had been dating for almost a year.  So there's this indy movie theater in our town that shows old or foreign movies every weekend.  And one weekend, they were going to be showing the Naruto movie for the first time.  My friends and I fucking love Naruto but it was screening the same Friday as Celia's birthday.  In hindsight, I should have just asked Celia if we could celebrate her birthday some other time but I had already been hyping her up on taking her out for a movie and drinks with friends and I already dug myself in too deep for it.  And she was going to be out of the country for this study abroad thing so I wasn't to see her for months afterward.

So Celia wanted to do drinks but she wanted to see another movie that was getting some pretty crappy reviews.  So I talked her into watching the Naruto movie instead because it was awesome and it would be cool to watch a foreign film on her birthday (Celia loves foreign movies).  She was reluctant but had a good time that night.  I didn't think about it again until she brought it last night.

Celia told me she was pissed that I pulled a bait and switch on her birthday plans.  Especially at the bar after the movie when our friends were gushing about Naruto (her words, not mine), she felt left out and wishing she watched that new Harry Potter movie instead.

Was it an asshole move though?  I should have paid Celia more attention in hindsight but we got to do movie and drinks like she wanted?  The theater was showing Naruto that one night only and she could have watched her movie any time she wanted, even in another country. ######

Response:
 YTA!

Her birthday dude!!! You chose naruto and a night with the bros over her, and that says something. I would be pissed if my bf was like jk we are gunna watch NARUTO instead.

Also a movie that got crappy reviews LOL it was Harry Potter which is a classic for many people your age! ######


Prompt:
I was cleaning out storage over the weekend and happened to find my Micheal Meyers (from the Halloween movie franchise) and remembered my daughter was having a mask-required, socially-distanced dance recital tonight. After all, it will work better than a bandana, and I thought a little humor could lighten things up. So I brought the mask to work with me today and came directly from work to the recital. I thought I was being a silly dorky dad.

I ended up getting stuck in traffic and had to come in late and no one really noticed me slipping in and sitting down. As my daughter came on I did kind of a slow “joker clap” for humorous effect (yes, I have to cringe at myself for that now). A bunch of heads turned to look at me but I just kept it cool, stopped clapping, and looked straight ahead. As my daughter danced a very “Karen” type of man ambushed me and told me to get out with that. I thought he was being pretty agressive and didn’t like that he was interrupting my daughter’s dance so I told him that I would be enjoying the rest of the little lady’s performance. He started getting loud, the music stopped, and I soon had to take my crying daughter home. Our nanny who was there when this happened said the mask was funny but asking for trouble. She usually tries to flatter me so I don’t know. Was I the asshole? ######

Response:
 YTA: you wore an inappropriate mask to a school and clapped like a creep at a young girl dancing.

Just be glad they didn't call the cops. And be glad that 'Karen' was willing to put themselves in between a child and someone they saw as a threat. ######


Prompt:
Hello AITA,

I've found myself somewhat confused by a recent interaction, and so I thought I'd come to see how wrong I may or may not have been.

I normally live in a relatively major city; there, it is considered quite common that, as long as you keep buying drinks and don't cause trouble or too much noise, you can sit at a table and work on your laptop as long as you want. I would say that I've never seen this cafe at more than 50% capacity, and I'd say that half the customers do not buy any drinks, but just talk to the staff, and then leave.

Due to COVID, I've ended up back in an old hometown. I tend to do my work remotely, and I found a local cafe with about 10 tables to work at. I've gone 5 times, I'd say. I buy my drink, find a single table to sit at, set up my laptop. I work from 11am to 3pm, and then I get up and leave. I make a real point to never leave mess, I always tip when ordering the drink, and I'd say over the 4 hours I work, I normally buy 1-3 drinks at about £3.15 per drink, plus I give the last change of what I pay as a tip (usually like 5 or 10p or whatever).

Today, as I cleaned up and dropped off the cup to the counter, the staff member stops me and says, neither politely nor rudely, that she didn't want me to come back anymore, that the shop was independent, that I was using too much electricity *(I plug my laptop into a socket)*, and that I stay too long *(I stay at most 4 hours, as it closes at 3pm, or if I get there after lunch, I'll stay 2 hours)*. I repeated the line about me using too much electricity *(I'd never heard such a thing in my life; it wasn't like I'd brought an extension cable and used it to mine bitcoin, I was literally only using a MacBook charger).* I was shocked, and left without really saying much after that.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA: I know you didn't intend to be, but you kind of are in this situation. You're occupying a table for 4 hours and leaving a very minimal tip and spending very little money while there. I don't know about where you are, but here in the US restaurants and bars are limited to a small percentage of their occupancy because of COVID. That means you're taking tables away from other people who could be using them for those 4 hours and not even coming close to compensating the staff for the money they'd make if there were 5 or 6 different parties seated at your table during that time. Stop by and get a drink but do your work somewhere else or from home. Unless you asked before you started being there for 4 hours a day on a regular basis, YTA. ######