Prompt:
I (22f) have a younger sister who is 19. When we were both young teenagers, we went through a lot, and our dad ended up leaving. Our mom turned to drugs and alcohol, and my sister and I responded completely differently. I threw myself into my academics and school work, and my sister went down the same path as our mom.

Two years ago, our mom OD’d and my sister had a major wake up call. She vowed to never touch a single drug again and went completely cold turkey. She had bad withdrawals for a while but eventually completely got her life back together. She went to college, got a good job, all that.

Over the past five months or so, I’ve noticed a massive change in my sister. She was suddenly really withdrawn, and always seemed high. I had seen her in a constant state of euphoria for years, and just thought deep down that she was using again. I’m really anxious when it comes to the well-being of my family, so broke down to my boyfriend and asked him what to do. I later decided that night that I would create a fake Tinder account and talk to my sister, in the hopes of finding out what was going on. I knew she had tinder and we quickly matched.

Our conversations turned deep pretty quickly, with her opening up to “me” about our past and her addictions etc. This was over a few days which I felt guilty about but I wanted to find out what was going on. She told me that she’d been fighting cravings for a while, but knew that she’d never go back after seeing our mom. I slowly ghosted her until we didn’t talk anymore.

I ended up having a conversation with my sister a couple days later and told her about the profile I made to find out, she absolutely flipped her shit and couldn’t believe that I didn’t trust her after she insisted she was never going to do it again. I told her I was only looking out for her. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You thought breaking her trust and catfishing her was a better solution than being mature and talking to her one-on-one about your feelings and observations? Come on now. How childish. 100% understand your sister feeling betrayed and upset. It’s great and understandable that you are concerned about her, but that doesn’t mean you get to disrespect her and cross boundaries. ######


Prompt:
I love my daughter, but I never really wanted kids and never liked them all that much. My ex wife did, and because I was young and in love I decided to have a child with her. I do not for one second regret my decision. My daughter has brought much joy to my life and made me a better person, but I gave up a lot of myself in order to give her a good childhood and life. I'm not saying this because I feel I deserve a medal or sympathy, but I was relieved when she started to get older and more independent because I gradually began to get my life back.

My daughter is now in her late 20s and had her first child this year. I am very happy for her, but I just don't have any interest in being a grandfather. I was never much of a kid person, and becoming a parent hasn't changed that. I did my duty to her and feel I've done as much as was expected or required of me. Anything now is bonus and optional, and I am opting out.

I didn't come right out and tell my daughter this, but after she kept trying to have me come to her house or bring the baby over to mine and I kept declining, she knew something was wrong. I told her the truth, and she didn't take it well.

My daughter thinks I am being an asshole by "shirking" my duties as a grandfather. My ex wife agrees and says I am being selfish and that by signing up for parenthood I was also signing up for grandparenthood. They also feel this is even more true in my case since my grandson's paternal grandfather is dead.

I disagree in both cases. I've done my job and should be free to engage as much or as little as I want with any grandkids or great grandkids but it should not be expected. ######

Response: YTA. You talk about your daughter as being a "job" that you've completed and don't have any obligations to anymore. You don't stop being a parent at 18? Are you required to be in your daughter's life? No, but not being involved in her life gives her every right to view you as an asshole. You ARE free to engage as little as you want with your grandson, but that doesn't mean you're free from being called an asshole for it. If you don't want to babysit, fine, let her know you're not comfortable with that. But viewing her and her baby as a burden to even visit or get to know is of course going to upset her. ######


Prompt:
So my daughter (14) recently won a lot of money, £10,000 to be exact. Now she didn't do anything to win this money so you could argue does she really deserve it?

Now my son (23) recently moved away from home, he doesn't have a lot of money and I give him £40 a week to get by.

After my daughter won this money, my son asked her for around £200 to fix his car. She wouldn't give him a single penny of it. I thought that was very harsh given everything my son has done for her, even taking her places she needs to go in that very car, so it was the least she could do. And 200 is nothing compared to the full amount she had.

Anyway, I felt she had to learn that you need to be much kinder in life and like how I taught them as kids to share, I decided to split the money. My daughter has no use for this money but my son does, so I took £5,000 and gave it to my son.

My daughter was furious, with my and her brother. She won't talk to either of us and I'm worried I took it a little far. She wants it back but most of it has been spent. I'm not surer if I should get my son to pay her it back or if I was right and she needed to learn. ######

Response:
 YTA. You stole from your minor daughter to give to your adult son. He didn’t do anything to earn it either, why should he have a share?? $10,000 is a ton of money to put away and save for when she’s an adult. Does she have a younger sibling that you can steal from to support her when she’s 23??

YTA. Give your daughter HER money back. ######


Prompt:
I have an 8 year old daughter, and to make college more easily accessible for her, my ex wife and I each put money into a shared fund for her. My ex wife and I do not get along, but we make an effort for the sake of our daughter.

At the end of last year, my car basically blew up. Completely blew a gasket, broke down every time I drove it and ended up being written off. My current wife and I decided to save for a new car, and to wait for one I was sure I wanted as I loved my old car.

On my way home from work I drive past a really high end car dealership, basically sells vintage top class cars. They’re absolutely beautiful but I’ve never went in because they’re extremely expensive. A few days ago I drove past it and thought why not, I’ll have a look and just not buy anything. I walked in and saw a truly beautiful Mustang, rang my wife and told her I’d found the car I wanted. We hadn’t saved enough so I used the money from our savings, and without thinking dipped into the college fund my ex wife and I have for our daughter. It was just under $15,000.

I rang my ex wife after I’d bought it to tell her, and assured her I’d put the money back in, but she went ballistic telling me that she’d basically just paid for my car as she puts more money in monthly than I do. I said that was ridiculous and that it doesn’t matter because it’s my money too. She’s now going on about suing me and all sorts which is just ridiculous. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. You stole from both your wife and your daughter to irresponsibly buy a car you can't afford.

I hope this is a troll, no one can be this dense. ######


Prompt: Soo as many of you have been doing in these times, I’m currently doing work from home. I have a wife and two toddlers (twins). I need silence to work and I don’t have a home office (we are in a smallish apartment, just enough room for the four of us). It has been slowly pissing me off because I am working hours and I hear noises such as my wife talking, watching tv kids playing from the other room. I have been VERY patient with them telling more than once that I need 100% silence to focus but even if they are trying to be “quiet” I still hear some noises (kids, walking around, making food, cleaning etc.). I got fed up with it and told my wife off, I’m the one working in this family and paying for everything. The least they can give me is peace and quiet while I do my job. My wife is a stay at home mom and it’s her job to be silent and shut the kids up. If I don’t have complete silence, I cannot work and therefore could lose my job. My wife on the other hand doesn’t appreciate any of it. When I wasn’t working from home she would ask me to do chores after work and take care of the kids when I am obviously very tired needing to wind down and relax for the night. Then when I’m off on the weekend, I’m still expected to help out. I would remind her that that’s her job as a stay at home mom, but she refuses to listen to me because  “it’s my kids and my home too”. It hurts that she doesn’t appreciate how hard I work or my feelings. I do my part by supporting this family financially, if it wasn’t for me we wouldn’t have a roof over our head, or food to eat. But despite me voicing my feelings she not only has the nerve to disturb my work but also expect me to work more afterwards. My wife is angry at me and refuses to back down.  The worst part? She claimed that *i* don’t appreciate *her*. Honestly, AITA?? I work very hard and I feel like I deserve to have my feelings considered. ######

Response: YTA. You sound like you don’t appreciate your wife at all. Remember that you get breaks form your paid work; your wife gets none from her unpaid work. What kind of AH expects complete silence from toddlers? Why can’t you invest in noise-canceling headphones? ######


Prompt: At the local grocery store and in line at the deli. Several customers standing around waiting their turn. I go to get a ticket and pull number 27. They are now serving number 21. I step back patiently to wait my turn. They call and wait on No 22, and then 23.  When they call number 24 no one steps up.  Hmmm. Must have got bored and left. As they are getting ready to call number 25 I step up, drop my ticket, number 27, in the bin, and say. "A pound of corned beef please." They presume I am 24 and take my order. My wife says that I should just let them go on to the next number. Wait my turn. I say that if the next number was alert they would have stepped up before me. What do you think? ######

Response: YTA. You sound like the kind of person who uses on ramps on the highway to get ahead of traffic and merge last minute. ######


Prompt:
I am 30 and basically have nothing in common with a 20 year old but my sister-in-law might be the exact example of the stereotypical self absorbed, iPhone addicted, eye rolling gen z that older people seem to think all young kids are like these days. Shes on her 5th go around with her on-again, off-again boyfriend and is absolutely obsessed with receiving attention from ALL the boys. At any given time when you look at her phone she will have at least 50 notifications (most are messages from boys who are not her boyfriend). She is always talking about all the “hot” boys she wants to go on dates with when her boyfriend pisses her off every other day. About 2-3 times a month she will make plans with us over text and then bail 90% of the time. We have cooked her supper and bought her favourite snacks to watch movies with us several times over the years and she almost always bails and ghosts us.

Anyway it’s fairly odd that she even graces us with her presence but when she does and finally attempts to be an adult I can’t help but be vengeful. She will talk about how she wants to go to school and ill say something like “you know you have to show up and put your phone down when you go to college right” or she will talk about how well her relationship is going and ill laugh and say something like “you will literally be broken up in a month again” and they do break up. She always gets super pissy with me and calls me an asshole. Yesterday she slept in till 5pm after partying all night and came down the stairs while we were having supper and I started roasting her about being pathetic and my wife told me to stop being a dick and that i need to start supporting her more. AITA here? Should i just keep my mouth shut and treat her like a baby like everyone else does or what? ######

Response: YTA. You sound insufferable. ######


Prompt:
I teach high school chemistry, but also a few introductory classes at the college. This occurred in the fall semester. Recently, some other science professors and I gathered for the fourth and were discussing students who weren't meant for college and were obviously forced by parents. I told them this situation, in which I was given mixed feedback on. Some say I'm an ass, some say no.

I had a student, Jane, in my night class. She was very shy, didn't work very hard and was obviously failing my class. Whenever she asked for help she was very clumsy, stammering. I believe she may have had a speech disorder, along with some confident issues.

Halfway through the course, I ask a simple question on an element and call on Jane to answer. She freezes up and doesn't say anything. I hint towards the correct answer, until I'm finally telling her. Most of the class is staring at her now and she whispers can you please stop staring at me.

A few kids snicker. A little frustrated, I blurt out 'They're laughing and staring Jane because it's so absurd  you can answer questions on first term material.'

She excused herself to the bathroom, came back looking as if she had been crying and dropped the class that same day. I don't know what happened to her. I was mean, but not over the line. To pass my class you need to be focused. ######

Response: YTA. You shouldn't publicly shame your students for getting something wrong, you should teach them the right answer. That's your job after all. ######


Prompt:
So I’m curious about the general consensus on this. I have a sister in law Jane, who I have a hot and cold relationship with. She can be very judgmental and righteous, but I don’t totally hate her. Jane’s commented in the past that my marriage makes her uncomfortable. Now I was the bitchiest sense of humor, and the first time I really thought my current husband might be *the one* was when I realized literally nothing I said offended him.

I lost a bet the other day, so my punishment was doing whatever he wanted for the day, and since my husband is a complete asshole, I knew it wasn’t going to be fun. Well I ended up in a French maid costume, but still it could have been worse, just bringing him what he wanted, and getting on my knees to profess my undying love (I have serious issues with saying nice things), and lots of massages. Anyway Jane showed up unannounced, which isn’t a big deal in our family, and wanted to hang out while she waited for her son at the doctor.

I explained the costume, but she looked kind of uncomfortable. So my husband just likes to piss me off, so every time I sat down he wanted something else. Jane looked super uncomfortable at this point, but I’m the dumbass who made the bet. Jane finally said she was leaving, and I asked if her son was done. She said no, but we have a gross relationship and this is some weird emotional abuse. I did text her that I was sorry if she was uncomfortable, but my husband maintains that I am not the asshole in this situation ######

Response: YTA. You shouldn't have let her come in. You should have explained that it was a bad time and asked her to come back later. If that wasn't possible, you should have paused the game. I do not blame her for being uncomfortable. You and your husband are free to do whatever you want in your own home, but once you had a guest, it needed to stop. You included her in your game without her consent. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway to maintain privacy.

So I got bored during quarantine and decided to try out some weed lube (with THC in it). I told my boyfriend that I had gotten some new lube and asked if we could try it and he agreed. Side note, the pack it comes in does have a cannabis logo but the bottle itself does not.

Anyway, after sex (which included oral) my boyfriend told me he was feeling light headed and I joked about the lube having weed in it. At first he didn’t take me seriously and asked to see the bottle. When he googled it and found out what it was he unnecessarily flipped out.

Now he’s upset. He says I “drugged” him and keeps using the word “drugged” even after I told him that makes me uncomfortable because didn’t slip him anything and he consented to have sex.

I confided in my friend about this and she’s taking his side on this and saying he could sue for that. I don’t believe this and I honestly don’t see how it’s a big deal. It’s like if I ate pot brownies without knowing they had pot in them. I wouldn’t be claiming that I was drugged by whoever made them.

It wouldn’t have made a difference if he knew and it’s not like he got hurt or I violated him in anyway. Everything was 100% consensual but they’re both treating me like I’m the devil. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You SHOULD have told him. If his work requires him to be drug tested he could get fired because of you!  You knew that this stuff had THC in it and you used it on him without his permission. If the roles where reversed and you where a dude, youd be lynched for this. ######


Prompt:
I adopted my daughter in 2011, when she was 9. I’m an elementary school teacher and she was actually a student in my class at the time. She’d come into school clearly distressed most days, but would always insist she was fine. I couldn’t take it anymore and called CPS on her parents, and fought her custody of her and adopted her a year later.

About a month after her adoption, I had news that her biological dad had gone to prison although I wasn’t told what for, and that her biological mom was headed in the same direction. I told them when I first got her that if they ever wanted contact they’d have to be clean of drugs and decent people regardless of what age my daughter was.

About six months ago i received a message from my daughters biological mom on Facebook telling me she’d really got her act together and wanted to see her daughter. My daughter is now 18, and is a happy healthy and incredible teenager. She’s been in therapy and is doing amazing, and even though her bio mom claims to have her act together, I don’t want to allow the possibility of having her hurt my daughter. I ignored the message and blocked her.

Last night my daughter came to my husband and I and said that her bio mom had messaged her. I confessed to her about the message her mom had sent me and she was seriously upset. I tried to comfort her but she pushed me away and said that she thought she could trust me to always be honest with her. I thought I was protecting her but my husband says I should’ve told her. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You should have let her make the decision for herself. She had a right to know. ######


Prompt:
I have a daughter name RJ who is 10 but due to autism, acts like a toddler most of the time. I homeschool her and try to always treat her equal to other children but sometimes it can be challenging.

She doesn't understand why people get gifts on their birthday, so to keep her from having a tantrum, I make sure to give her a present to unwrap while the birthday child is. Normally it's small so no one says anything.

Before the pandemic we went to my nieces birthday, she's 1e, I brought her a nice gift, but knowing she's getting some big ticket items from her mother and father I bought RJ a large Barbie house so that she could feel special as well when her cousin is opening up  a tablet and other toys.

When we got their I placed a gift bag on the table- earrings and dress up necklace for the birthday girl, but kept the bigger one put aside. Got a few funny looks from family but they know why I do it for RJ.

During present opening my daughter opened the gift I gave her and was beyond excited, in her excitement for more she did open up another present- it was the birthday girl's, and as much as I apologized my family scolded me saying a small toy is one thing, but to show up with a big present for RJ and play jewelry for the birthday girl is just rude and they won't allow us back to birthday parties until we stop treating RJ with gifts to, but I feel that that's just not fair.

AITA for wanting RJ to feel included? ######

Response: YTA. You should have gone with the small gift as normal if you HAVE to get her anything. You could have given her the bigger gift at home and honestly, why on earth didn't you stop her opening another present? Even toddlers can understand that someone else's birthday party isn't about them. ######


Prompt:
My husband comes from a big family. His dad was married twice and has five children, and I'll admit it is kind of a tough group to break into but besides one sister, i love his family. Both of my children are very close to their cousins and we go a lot as a family. My son recently got engaged to his girlfriend of two years. We'll call her Jessica.

Like I said they family can be a little hard to break into. His father was a big outdoors man and had this kind of creepy cabin in the woods and the first time I stayed there his siblings convinced me it was haunted. I'm not even that gullible so they went to great lengths there, scared the shit out of me while I was in the shower, and I ran out half naked and crying. After that things got much better and I genuinely love them.

Jessica hasn't spend that much time around the family. My son goes to a lot of things without her, because she doesn't like big groups. Well we went camping recently with two of my husband's siblings and their children. I guess they wanted to initiate Jessica. Now after what was done to me this seems pretty mild, but they told her that my son was looking for her and that he seemed annoyed and he was in the clearing in the woods. When she went to look for him she got attacked with water guns/balloons.

Jessica was very upset and cried. I did try to be sympathetic, but it happens to everyone and I don't feel like she was being unfairly targeted. I tried to comfort her a little, but then I told her that she really needs to get thicker skin because my son loves his family. Well according to my son she thinks I'm an asshole. ######

Response: YTA. You should have given her some kind of warning here. She's probably nervous as fuck meeting extended family for the first time, and being attacked like that probably made her feel like they hate her. Did she know that the family does this to all 'newcomers'? If not, then I 100% agree with her. If she did, the maybe she should have known something was going to happen, but it's not her fault she was taken by surprise. ######


Prompt:
I (22M) am a film lover and my friend (22M) Don made his first film last year. He asked me to be in his film as the lead and I agreed, hes pretty much my best (and only) friend.

So this happened last year but Its been on my mind as Don recently told me that apparently I rlly hurt the feelings of the actress who was in the film.

Basically I was supposed to have a kissing scene with her (21F).

Now sometimes what I do is if I have suggestions or feel something isn't right, I'll just loudly verbalize that while Don is filming. I like to be creatively involved and really envelope myself in what is happening in the story.

Don said he appreciates this and he has often made changes to his works because of my input. On other times,, hes disagreed and continued to do what he wanted which I'm fine with.

So as the kissing scene was gonn happen, I wasn't feeling it. It just felt like the film would be better if there was a romantic tension that wasn't fulfilled but fizzled out so I loudly said "this kissing scene doesn't seem like it vibes with the story". Everyone there heard what I said and actress looked awkward.

Don asked why and I explained that it doesn't vibe with the movie's slow burn and melancholy tone. He said he was having second thoughts about it and agreed. So he cut it.

Well recently he told me the actress felt embarrassed and that she said I was an AH and it made her feel ugly. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You should have done the scene to see if it worked and if you still thought it wasn't organic then you should have privately talked to the director and producers about possible workarounds. Instead you acted like an amateur and embarrassed your co-worker during an already sensitive scene. Shame on you. ######


Prompt:
I (F24) love my little brother (M19). He’s my best friend in the world. But ever since he became a teen years ago, he's had anger issues. It’s not like he was constantly angry, but when he’s furious, he gets verbally aggressive, hits stuff, etc. We sent him to therapy, but nothing. My dad asks me to talk to him because my brother "worships" me (my dad's words, not mine). But there is literally nothing I can do. I used to tell my dad that I was scared of the day my brother got into a relationship because I think he’ll be abusive. I know that sounds weird to say about someone who means so much to me, but it’s true.

So my brother got a girlfriend (also 19) before all this COVID stuff. She’s staying about an hour away from us right now. She’s got business nearby I guess, so my dad said we should have a socially distanced get together (he’s done this several times with family and sometimes friends where they basically sit across the yard and we have pizza in the middle). I have never actually met my brother's girlfriend, but this is basically the thing I’ve always been scared of. Now I obviously don’t plan on going up to her and saying "hey btw my brother has extremely bad anger issues so be careful" but WIBTA if I talked to her at some point when no one else was around or is out of earshot and tell her if she ever has any troubles with my brother she can talk to me? I honestly can’t think of any good way to possibly phrase it without suggesting I think my brother is abusive. I already feel like an asshole and it hasn’t even happened yet.

EDIT: All good points. You’re right. She has a support system, I haven’t met her yet, I can’t do this with every gf, and I feel weird because it is weird. Thank you for your feedback. ######

Response: YTA. You should have a talk with your brother instead of his girlfriend whom you’ve never met. ######


Prompt:
 I (33M) have been married to my wife (32F) for the past 5 years. 6 months ago my wife decided to undergo rhinoplasty (nose job) surgery due to not liking the shape of her nose for several years and also to repair a deviated septum (although the primary reason was cosmetic). I personally didn’t think she needed the surgery and the money could have been better spent, but agreed it was her choice to make.

Here’s where my wife thinks I was the asshole: I was driving her to the surgery and she was getting very nervous thinking about how it could all go wrong. Meanwhile, I was dead tired and it was early in the morning. She caught on that I wasn’t in the best mood and asked how I felt about driving her to the surgery. I responded “To be honest, I’m not looking forward to taking care of you after the surgery”.

She started melting down, telling me I should have told her earlier if I wasn’t willing to support her recovery. I clarified that I loved her and would take care of her, but I just wasn’t looking forward to it since the surgery was elective and avoidable. This did not placate her and she only got more angry/sad. I apologized profusely after realizing how upset she was, but it was kind of half-hearted because I still thought I was right.

Fast forward to the present: the surgery went well, I supported my wife as she was recovering, and life is back to normal. However, my wife still thinks I was the asshole for not being more emotionally supportive of her on surgery day. I think I’m probably the asshole but wanted to post to be sure. So, Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You should be interested in caring for your spouse, even if you’re caring for them because of an elective surgery. ######


Prompt:
I am, or I guess was dating this girl, Amanda.

We went on a couple dates together, and we decided to have sex today. So, we went to my place and after she tidied up, her boobs got noticeably smaller. I just asked her because I thought she was padding. It’s not like her bra was padded because she was still wearing it.

It turns out she used a prosthetic breast because she had a mastectomy after surviving breast cancer. The thing is, I never knew any of this. She never told me. Safe to say, we didn’t have sex that night and she called me an asshole for pointing her out on her lie? I seriously don’t know why I’m the asshole.

Some of my female friends also said I was being an asshole because I shouldn’t ever say that to a women. They compared it to my dick, which makes no sense. You can’t see dick cleavage.

So, AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You say that you called her out on her “lie” of using prosthetic breasts, but one wouldn’t say that someone using a realistic prosthetic leg was lying about having a real leg. You didn’t know, and it’s ok that you didn’t know, but asking her “why did your tits get smaller” when she’s partially or fully naked and vulnerable really is a dick move. A good general rule is that you should never assume that something that appears cosmetic is purely cosmetic, and you should afford those things the same respect and grace you would give to someone with a condition that impacts their life. ######


Prompt:
Let me just preface by saying I live with 5 other people. So, because of this we have different rules set in place to keep the house orderly and clean and whatever else. Some roommates including myself weren’t doing their chores on time. During one of our bi-weekly meetings my roommates wanted to have a rule set in place that whoever is late on their chore or doesn’t do it by Monday at 12 am has to pay a 10 dollar fine (note: I never agreed to this because I don’t always have the funds and it’s a stupid rule if you ask me). That money goes to the house utilities and will be divided so people have a few bucks (not even that much) off the utility bill.

Last night at 9:22pm (time is important because our deadline is 12) I texted my roommate who’s my friend and also the landlords son, that I wasn’t feeling well and asked to do my chore the next morning (today). He never responded so I went ahead and assumed all was good. The rest of my roommates are all saying I’m being a child for refusing to pay. I am adamant on not paying because it’s ridiculous and I legally shouldn’t have to pay any extra money than I already pay for for utilities and other things. I also want to add that I just lost my job and need to save all the money I can save as well as I did the chore as soon as I woke up the next morning.

So, AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You say in the first sentence that you don’t do your chores on time. The fact that people in the house felt the need to issue a fine for chores not being done shows that this has been an on going problem and talking and reminders aren’t working. I get that you were feeling sick that night but this isn’t a one time off and you’re the one who left doing your chores until late that night. Show some respect for the people you live with and do your chores on time or pay the fine. ######


Prompt:
Let me just preface by saying I live with 5 other people. So, because of this we have different rules set in place to keep the house orderly and clean and whatever else. Some roommates including myself weren’t doing their chores on time. During one of our bi-weekly meetings my roommates wanted to have a rule set in place that whoever is late on their chore or doesn’t do it by Monday at 12 am has to pay a 10 dollar fine (note: I never agreed to this because I don’t always have the funds and it’s a stupid rule if you ask me). That money goes to the house utilities and will be divided so people have a few bucks (not even that much) off the utility bill.

Last night at 9:22pm (time is important because our deadline is 12) I texted my roommate who’s my friend and also the landlords son, that I wasn’t feeling well and asked to do my chore the next morning (today). He never responded so I went ahead and assumed all was good. The rest of my roommates are all saying I’m being a child for refusing to pay. I am adamant on not paying because it’s ridiculous and I legally shouldn’t have to pay any extra money than I already pay for for utilities and other things. I also want to add that I just lost my job and need to save all the money I can save as well as I did the chore as soon as I woke up the next morning.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. You said yourself you hadn't been doing your chores on time already, and then you left it until 3 hours before the deadline again.

You don't have to agree with the punishment jar, but you should have come to consensus beforehand. Did you actually disagree to it and make it clear you wouldn't contribute? If so, did you offer an alternative? Because it sounds like you and some other roommates aren't holding up your ends of the cleaning agreement and the other is just trying to get people to do what they're supposed to. ######


Prompt:
One of my best friends is getting married and my girlfriend was invited to the bridal shower by another best friends gf. My gf is from another country and did not know what a bridal shower was, I briefly explained it to her. She is not good friends with any of the girls but gets along fine.

Fast forward a week and she now has to work on that day(sunday). She texted me asking me to now text the woman who invited her telling her she cant make it. This is a day before the shower. I told her she should text her herself as that may come off as rude. She became very angry and said why do I always make her feel like a bad person for no reason,  and that she doesnt have the womans number. I simply said that you could just ask me for her number and that's that.

I was just looking out for her to not come off as rude,   and selfishly I want the other woman to like her in the group. Our friend group is very tight and the girlfriends/wife's can get clicky. We have been together for 3 years. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You said she’s from a different country and was confused on the basic concept of a bridal shower. She obviously doesn’t know the customs. And since you said she’s not close to any of the girls (doesn’t even have anyone’s number) she was probably too uncomfortable to text them herself. And if you thought that was rude, you could always send her their number and a text you think she should send. Instead, you made her feel ashamed when she came to you for help ######


Prompt:
My nineteen year old daughter has been home since the schools shut down and everyone’s nerves are just frayed from too much time together. My wife is having issues with her family, our son just got married without telling anyone and we think he made a huge mistake, and my wife has been under a lot of stress.

My daughter died her hair pink last night and when my wife saw it she started to cry. She was not crying over the hair. If it wasn’t the hair something else would have triggered it but my daughter could not let it go. She kept harassing my wife about why she didn’t like the hair. My wife said she was going to bed and locked the door and my daughter was still going on from outside the door. I told her to grow up and stop acting like a fucking idiot and now she will barley speak to either of us. ######

Response:
 YTA. You said it yourself: your wife is not crying because of your daughter's hair, she's crying because of stress, so why are you taking it out on your daughter?

Obviously communication is a huge issue in this family, with your son not telling anyone about his marriage, your wife unable to talk to anyone clearly about her stress and now you're unwilling to tell your daughter to back off without insulting her.

What a mess.

Edited to make it clearer that OP stated that the wife was crying because of stress & not the daughters hair. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been with my boyfriend for six years and we have two kids. I’ve always had the impression his mom didn’t like me but she’s never said anything. His mom was wealthy on her own and probably made on the higher end of six figures. She’s been with her fiancé for about a year and a half and I think he might be a millionaire. He bought her a Birkin for her birthday and I’ve heard that those can cost tens of thousands and when the pandemic got bad he somehow got them to his vacation house on a helicopter even though the area was supposed to be closed off. Honestly it kind of grossed me out how someone can have so much money when so many people are struggling.

He proposed while they were in quarantine and I only know what the ring cost because he asked my boyfriends sister to help him pick it out and she couldn’t believe the price and she kind of has a big mouth. This ring cost more than most people make in a couple years. I literally can’t get over the fact that someone would spend that much money on a piece of metal. They’re home and we saw them for the first time in a few months and when we left my boyfriend said I was the only one who didn’t say congratulations. He feels like I’m being an asshole but I don’t see how she can wear that ring and not care that people are struggling and her grandkids are struggling. ######

Response:
 YTA. You resent them because they're rich. You can't make decisions about your own money, but withholding congratulations from your BF's mother because someone gave her an expensive gift is really petty and meanspirited.

>her grandkids are struggling.

Is that the real issue? That you think you BF's mother should give you money? ######


Prompt:
We had a new part time girl in our warehouse, a teenager, 15. She very soon becomes popular with us as she's hardworking, pleasant and sometimes give out snacks and small gifts.

At first I like her too but recently during a casual conversation she brought up that she her family is actually quite rich, that is why she could afford gifts and such.

When someone asked her why is she even working here when she could easily find other part time jobs that doesn't require as much labour and pays better, she answered that she worked here because she wants to train herself. She said that she wanted to prove to herself and her parents that she is a capable person if she could "lower her head down" and do "this kind of job" without a single complaint.

I am not sure what other people thinks, but to me I sense an undeniable arrogance in her speech which triggered me off. Not starting a sob story but I am definitely not as privileged as her and the reason I am working there is because I had no other options.

I kind of snappishly told her that she shouldn't be flattering herself. She is not "lowering" her head because she isn't any better than us, like, in terms of education level we are the same, if not just a little higher than a 15 year old right now. I told her that if she truly wanted to train herself she should start by thinking of us as equals.

The conversation ended in an awkward tone as she got red and walked off. The girl did not turn up later at all and she has actually gone home and quit the job without bothering to get paid.

The other colleagues said that I am being too harsh on a teenager who has a positive mentality and instead of encouraging her, I was a bitch. I admit,  my words slipped and I was indeed bitter for a moment, but I do think that she needs to know that we are not inferior, and we should nip that thought in the bud. If it made her quit the job it just means that she doesn't have what it takes that she thought she had. ######

Response: YTA. You quoted "lower her head" as if it was insulting, I am wondering if you know what that means? She wasn't saying "lower herself" as if she's better than you. To put your head down means to be determined to get something done, or to focus. You TOTALLY projected your own jealousy/insecurity on this 15 year old girl. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account.

My best friend had asked me if I was available one night and if I was could I pick her up from a party as she didn’t have a lift and felt really uncomfortable being in a uber or taxi late at night. I said of course I would pick her up.

Later that night my boyfriend texted me asking to hang out. So we did. I totally forgot about my friend and it wasn’t until I looked at my phone and saw her various texts and missed calls. She got home safe in the end because her BF brother woke up to pick her up.

I apologised a lot and she seemed to have accepted the apology but her texts were really dry..?

My bf said that she shouldn’t have been drinking if she knew she didn’t have a lift home and that I shouldn’t really worry about her lack of responses...

AITA in this situation? ######

Response: Yta. You owe that friend big time. ######


Prompt:
A long time close friend of mine recently came out to me as gay (important to mention I am also gay), he mentioned that it was probably internalized homophobia that took him this long and that he is still working it out. I felt delighted for him and offered to be there for when he felt like telling other people. He said it would be something he would do imminently, but to keep it to myself for a while.

A couple months pass and he still hasn't told anyone but me. Our friendship is complicated and  I had a crush on him when we were younger (he is aware of this). As I reflected more on him, our relationship and his behaviour, I remembered some of the homophobic things he'd say with other members of our friend group. It was predominantly stuff that would be considered "locker room" talk like "thats gay" or calling me feminine and the more I thought about it the more pissed off I became as he knew what he was saying would hurt me. Its even more fucked up that he is gay too. There was nothing internalized about that past behaviour.

Anyway he recently came up in conversation with a couple friends and I decided to tell them that our mutual friend came out to me. They all reacted really positively and were so happy for him. However, he eventually found out about this and is pissed and has cut me off without an explanation. Am I totally in the wrong here? ######

Response: YTA. You outed him without his permission. ######


Prompt:
Earlier today, I had orientation for a new job. It was basically just a candy store in a local mall. It's not much, but I figured that it would beat my dead-end call center job. Me and a small group of other new hires arrived and were given a basic lesson on customer service and handling the cash register, but then came a moment where the manager called a 10 minute break while he set up our next lesson in another room in the back.

Us new hires just hung around and I decided that since I was on break, I could get a quick bite to eat. There was a Wetzel Pretzel right beneath us on the lower level of the mall and I decided to run there really quickly. One of the new hires told me that that wasn't a good idea, but I told him that we were legally entitled to a break. I ran off and tried to be quick in getting a bag of pretzel bites and a lemonade.

But when I returned, the group was gone and I had to find what room they were in. I knocked on the door and the manager showed up and asked me where I went. I told him that I was just getting a snack while on break, but he said that it "wasn't those types of break". I tried to get into the training room with my pretzels and drink, but then the manager said that it's probably best if I go home. I admit that I didn't look my best. I had spilled a little cheese on my shirt and my fingers were covered in grease, but I was still wanting to continue with the orientation. But the manager said that I just can't wander off like that and that I should take my food and home.

It was embarrassing. The other new hires saw the whole thing and some of them were laughing at me. I just think it weird that the manager called a break, and then acted all shocked when I behaved like someone going on their break. And now it looks like I'm out of a new job. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You only had a 10 minute break; it's entirely unprofessional to run off and get a greasy food item. You embarrassed yourself. ######


Prompt:
My wife went into labor around 6 pm on Sunday. We were expecting twins.

It quickly turns into a very painful process she kept cutting off the blood pressure to my hand when she squeezed and nearly sprayed my shirt with vomit.

Around 3 am my dad calls. I work for my dad’s company and we had a presentation for clients Monday morning that I had to get ready for.

My dad heard my wife was in labor but told me he needed me on this presentation. He said there was nothing I could do to help my wife and delivery and seeing the baby come out was overrated and people don’t prepare your for the gore.

He said he needed me to rest up and make myself presentable for the presentation.

My wife’s labor was progressing very slowly and we were all certain she would need forceps or other assistance to deliver the babies.

I realized that I couldn’t help her here, and my dad was counting on me, so I told her I needed to leave.

She started screaming at me so loudly that a few nurses rushed over to our room.

I ended up doing the presentation with the clients and things went well.

I leave the office and see a text on my phone that said my wife delivered an hour ago at around 10:30 am and they had to use forceps.

I would have missed the meeting had I stayed and my dad has given me everything he could possibly give me in life, so I didn’t want to let him down.

AITA? I had responsibilities I had to take care of and while my wife is still screaming at me saying that she was alone when they “ destroyed her body”, I’m the only one who works and her mom herself said that she was emotional and overreacting.

My wife even went as far to say that her family would disown her if she was the first of them to divorce but that she doesn’t consider me her husband right now. ######

Response:
 YTA. You never leave a women in birth. Especially because she was giving birth to twins.

YTA x 1000 for “it quickly turns into a painful process she kept cutting off the blood pressure to my hand when she squeezed...” way to make it about you.

You expected your wife, a first time mom from what it seems, to naturally birth twins in a couple of hours?! What the hell? ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend and I have been together for a while, and we decided to move in together. Since she already owns a house, I moved in with her.

Before I moved in, I made it clear that I rather it just be the two of us in the house and that I didn’t want her son to continue living with us. She was pretty blasé about this and was like “yeah, yeah, he’ll move out”. Her son is an ADULT, but he lives with her because she more or less enables him. He’s not a NEET, but he is very lazy and seems to take advantage of his mom

I moved in a month ago, and her son is still there. She told me to “see” if I felt comfortable living in the house with him. At first, I tried living with her son. But honestly, I hate it. I just want to be able to sit on the couch and be intimate with my girlfriend without a grown ass man walking in. Plus he is just a little asshole and expects his mom to do his laundry and wash his dishes, even though he’s grown.

I told my GF I don’t want to live with him any longer and she started to cry, saying she wanted to get him out the house for a while and that she’ll talk to him. At dinner yesterday, he “confronted” me and said GF never brought this up before me... but I was just empowering her to say how she’s been feeling for a while. My GF is very sensitive and beats around the bush, and she didn’t want to hurt his feelings but she’d wanted him to move out. We argued, and he called me an asshole and other profane things while I tried staying calm and reasoning with him.

My GF has no idea what to do, and she’s bad at picking sides so I wanted to make this post to help her get more perspectives. I might be an asshole for “separating” a grown man from his mom, but I also think I’m just helping my GF. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You moved into HIS house too. Just because he is an adult does not make it his home. If you do not like living with him, move your ass out. You are a grown ass man too. Be an adult here. ######


Prompt: Soo as many of you have been doing in these times, I’m currently doing work from home. I have a wife and two toddlers (twins). I need silence to work and I don’t have a home office (we are in a smallish apartment, just enough room for the four of us). It has been slowly pissing me off because I am working hours and I hear noises such as my wife talking, watching tv kids playing from the other room. I have been VERY patient with them telling more than once that I need 100% silence to focus but even if they are trying to be “quiet” I still hear some noises (kids, walking around, making food, cleaning etc.). I got fed up with it and told my wife off, I’m the one working in this family and paying for everything. The least they can give me is peace and quiet while I do my job. My wife is a stay at home mom and it’s her job to be silent and shut the kids up. If I don’t have complete silence, I cannot work and therefore could lose my job. My wife on the other hand doesn’t appreciate any of it. When I wasn’t working from home she would ask me to do chores after work and take care of the kids when I am obviously very tired needing to wind down and relax for the night. Then when I’m off on the weekend, I’m still expected to help out. I would remind her that that’s her job as a stay at home mom, but she refuses to listen to me because  “it’s my kids and my home too”. It hurts that she doesn’t appreciate how hard I work or my feelings. I do my part by supporting this family financially, if it wasn’t for me we wouldn’t have a roof over our head, or food to eat. But despite me voicing my feelings she not only has the nerve to disturb my work but also expect me to work more afterwards. My wife is angry at me and refuses to back down.  The worst part? She claimed that *i* don’t appreciate *her*. Honestly, AITA?? I work very hard and I feel like I deserve to have my feelings considered. ######

Response:
 YTA. You might be the biggest one I’ve read this week.
Your wife certainly works harder than you do. Maybe if you’re making so much money you should just buy some noise canceling headphones and not be rude to the woman you married and raises your spawn. ######


Prompt:
Today I was hanging out with my girlfriend for a bit at my place, and a friend of mine stopped by to help me out with something while she was making food.

Me and my girlfriend have a very playful relationship and joke around all the time about anything and everything.

As my buddy walked in, I told him my girlfriend was over and he asked where she was. I told him that she was in the kitchen where she belonged, making me a dinner. He laughed, and then I proceeded to yell over to my girlfriend quote: “You hear that _____? I told so and so you’re in the kitchen where you belong, making me a goddamn dinner.”

Well looks like that joke may have went a little too far because she ended up yelling at me, called me a dickhead, and left with the stove on. My friend kind of just stared at me in silence. I was confused out of my mind. We joke all the time and that seemed to set something off I guess.

I’ve tried contacting her to apologize but she hasn’t answered. I’ll try again tomorrow when things are more cooled off hopefully. I didn’t mean to offend her, it was just a playful joke like ones we’ve made before.

So tell me Reddit, was I the asshole here? ######

Response: YTA. You may have a joking relationship, but bringing your friend into it is probably what pissed her off. ######


Prompt: So my dad found this little Jack Russell at a building he was planning to buy and brought him home to be ours (his). He's still untrained so he mostly stays outside and only comes inside if whoever brought him in keeps their eyes on him. This morning I was watching a movie in the living room with my sister when she got a call from her boyfriend and went outside. I continued watching the movie and only saw the dog when he was sniffing his way into my sister's room. I tried shooing him but that didn't work well since he doesn't have a name yet and isn't responsive, so I called my sister's name twice and she just hushed me with her hands and closed the door. I yelled once more that the dog was in her room but she mized so I gave up and continued watching the movie. About ten minutes later my sister comes back and starts screaming from her room. Turns out the dog fucked up her duvet, her bag, and a broke this sculpture thing she made last year. He also left the room in a mess but that was mostly cleanable. Now she's blaming me for watching the dog go in her room and not doing anything to stop him. I told her I called her but she's and mom are still maintaining that it's my fault. Dad's luckly on my side since I did warn her. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You made a half-assed attempt to warn her, that's not the same as actually warning her. Most people assume that if something is actually important, you'll press after they wave you off. You also could have gotten up and physically moved the dog outside again, which I'm betting you would have done if the dog had gone in your room. So you were a jerk to your sister, and you were a jerk to the dog for not correcting his behavior. Training a dog is a family effort. ######


Prompt:
My best friend and I are the type to always pull pranks on each other, it's just how our friendship formed and we always get a kick out of it.

For example, he once invited me to a party and told me to wear a costume and when I got there, it was normal attire. I laughed after the initial embarrassment, and like I said we are comfortable enough to do that to each other.

He held a wedding this past weekend, (socially distant, everyone was spread out and it was entirely outdoors). In the weeks leading up to the wedding, I told my girlfriend to wear white as it was expected all the women would wear it. She was reluctant but I told her that it was just a quirky thing the bridge and groom were doing, so she said "ok" and bought a white dress.

When we got to the wedding, it was standard wedding attire and my girlfriend was mortified. When my best friend saw what I had done, he was cracking up and joked "I guess you two are getting married instead of us!"

The bride was pissed off and made a huge deal out of it. Normally she is really chill so I was surprised by her anger. My friend even tried to calm her down and told her it was just clothing and it doesn't change anything.

Now I feel incredibly bad by what happened. I really didn't think it was a big deal. I personally think this is being blown out of proportion but I don't know. ######

Response: YTA. You lied to your girlfriend and you took your best friends fiance's attention away from her on her wedding day. That's not a prank. That is a deceptive, manipulative asshole. You ruined two innocent people's day on something that didn't actually prank him at all. ######


Prompt: I(25) have a girlfriend (23).  She most of the time refuses to leave me alone and will not give me time to myself . Whenever i come from work , she'll always sit with me till dinner and won't let me play video games or watch TV in peace. She would insist on coming when i meet my friends .I've requested her many times to give me some private time. So one day i told her i was going for a business trip to Paris (we live in Nice). Actually me and my friends had planned to go to Zurich and hang out at the house of a friend who lived there.I told my girlfriend to go to her parents house which was nearby till i came back. We reached Zurich and enjoyed the first 3 days of our trip till she found out that i was in Zurich through a friend who accidentally posted it on Instagram and forgot to hide it from her. Now she is mad at me and when i returned she made me sleep on the sofa and refuses to speak to me .AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You lied to her so she has the right to be upset. If she’s as annoying as you claim, break up with her. I personally could not date a needy, co-dependent person either. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriends parents divorced when he was in middle school but they never really got over each other and they both cheated on multiple partners with each other. The mom ended up getting pregnant from the last round of cheating and his dad left his fiancé to get back together with her. They both think it’s funny that they destroyed lives and they are super boastful about their affair baby. My family and childhood were torn apart by adultery and I hate cheaters.

The day of the hurricane we got a really bad storm while my boyfriend and his dad were out. I don’t live there but I was over that day and unable to leave because of trees falling down. She went into labor while they were out and I did call 911. The operator asked me to stay with her but it was freaking me out and I didn’t want to. She was crying and asked me not to leave her and to get her a pillow and help her sit up but I felt uncomfortable so I locked myself in my boyfriends room. She was freaking out and I didn’t know this at the time but my boyfriend was born with the chord around his neck and she was scared if the baby was she wouldn’t be able to get it off.

The ambulance got their eventually but I guess she passed out at some point and they ended up delivering the baby in the living room. She says that I’m an evil psychotic bitch and I’m never allowed in her house again or to meet her daughter but my boyfriend feels that I was in my rights not to help. ######

Response:
 YTA. You left a woman who was in fear for not only her life, but the life of her baby, alone on the living room floor. You don't have to like someone to provide emergency help, even if it was "freaking you out and you didn't want to."

You're lucky it worked out OK. It very well could have led to two dead people. ######


Prompt:
I threw a customers silicon wedding band in the garbage and all hell broke loose

So I was at work and I found this wedding band on the ground in the afternoon and decided to keep it on the cash register. Come the next morning I see it’s still there so I just decided to toss it. A few hours later mr dude comes through asking if anyone had seen a band and my staff knew that I’d found it yesterday and were all looking at me like where is it. I then responded and said “I threw it away.” Pointed at the garbage can and walked away. They expected me to look through the can and I had to be talked to like I did something wrong. I’m an adult if I lose something I don’t expect the world to find my lost item. My job is cashier not lost and found warden or dumpster diver. And also how do you lose a wedding band when it’s strapped to your finger. I really don’t feel bad but am failing to see the reason everyone was so upset with me. Dude lost his ring it got thrown away. Tough shit dude. ######

Response:
 YTA. You know your job also involves being polite to customers, right?

It was a ring, was it really torturing you by existing in your space? What was the rush to throw it away? ######


Prompt:
The title makes it sound a lot worse but basically I was in a bad mood the day it happened and she happened to ft me. She was asking me loads of questions and I was just frustrated is all and I just snapped. I didn’t say anything rude I just responded in an annoyed tone. She hung up shortly afterwards and I could tell she was crying.

Afterwards I apologized but she’s still annoyed with me.

There’s been times where she’s snapped and apologized and I’ve been cool with it but I feel like the one time I did it she overreacted.

For a bit of context her past relationships were very abusive so I think it brought out some bad memories.

Aita? ######

Response: YTA. You know that she has an abusive past, and yet you’re saying that she overreacted to you snapping at her. People getting annoyed at you comes across very differently when you’ve been abused. She didn’t overreact, you scared her. ######


Prompt:
Yesterday I was supposed to spend the night at my friends house with some of my classmates and we were playing truth or dare. There really is no reason for us to choose truth since we already know a lot about each other so we mostly went just with dares. It was pretty fun and we had some weird challenges.

I was staying next to my friends brother and when it was my turn a classmate challenged me to kiss him. His sister immediately told my friend to change the dare and so she did. To be clear, her brother did not say anything when he heard the dare and just laughed so he definitely looked like he was ok with it right? Well WRONG because after I kissed him he told me wtf I am doing and looked like he was really grossed out by it. I was honestly a bit offended and asked him why he is so grossed by me kissing him, I am actually a pretty ok looking girl and even if I wasn’t, there was no reason for him to act like this. He ended up leaving the game and my friend told me that what I did was wrong on so many levels and to get out of her house. My other classmates didn’t say anything so I think they were on my side but didn’t want to participate in this argument (I will ask them when they go back home). Anyways I did end up leaving. Do you guys think I was the asshole here?

Please do NOT comment yet, read this:

Ok I don’t know how to explain this without being misunderstood but could you guys do me a small favor? I used a throwaway account for privacy reasons but the thing is, if this post blows up, there is a high chance for my friend to still see this. Could you please instead of commenting, DM me if your judgement is ‘YTA’? I promise if I get a lot of YTA dms I am going to ACCEPT the judgement as per rule 3 but it’s just weird if my friend sees this and sees ‘YTA’ comments especially after our last argument, you guys get what I mean right? Thank you. ######

Response:
 YTA. You kissed someone without their consent and you were "honestly a bit offended" that they weren't thrilled about it?

Ask yourself how you'd feel if a boy touched you without consent and they were annoyed that you didn't like it. ######


Prompt:
Throw away for obvious reasons.

I know the title sounds bad but bare with me!

I had my son when I was 19 and my daughter when I was 21.

My daughter is now 19.

My daughter was raised mostly by her grandmother for the first five years of her life because I worked full time as did my children’s dad, we had to so we could support them.

My children’s grandmother was never affectionate and my daughter picked up on that and she’s never been interested in hugs etc; I remember twice that I’ve hugged her, both times she was in hospital because she was sick.

My son is overly affectionate; he throws himself too fast into relationships and they often don’t last because of it.

My daughter is the opposite of him and she lacks any affection; she won’t kiss or hug her girlfriend, even holding hands in public is off the table and I’d  think maybe  she’s worried about homophobia if she wasn’t like it with everyone else.

She’s been dating a girl for the past year but unfortunately this girl cheated on her.

Unlike her brother, who when he got cheated on spent a month in bed crying, she’s seemed to move on instantly and doesn’t seem upset but then she asked me why I thought her girlfriend cheated on her and I told her the reason above, people like affection and feeling like they’re special and she didn’t do that.

Now she’s refusing to talk to me, not unusual for her because and I quote “talking is unnecessary” (she rarely talks) for her but my husband is extremely angry at me for not just comforting her, I told her the truth as she asked for it. ######

Response: YTA. You insinuated that it was your daughter’s fault that her gf cheated. While your daughter’s resistance to affection may have contributed to driving her away, her gf is still 100% at fault here. ######


Prompt:
I (M18) have been with my girlfriend (F17) for two years now.

Throwaway

My girlfriend is black and I am white.

I love her so much and her curly hair, I really love the way my finger gets looped in one of her tight curls, it's really cute.

Her and I are planning to get married and have children one day, so I thought I should study up on different hair types my future daughter/son might have. I want to make sure I'm able to take care of/do it.

My girlfriend usually puts relaxers and straightens her hair. That's her choice, but I found out while I was studying hair types is that can be bad for her hair type if done excessively (which she does). I told her about this, and she replied with "I know what I'm doing, my mom did this to me as a kid."

I really wanted to explain to her that is was bad and I've seen images of damaged curly hair. She still didn't listen to me, so I hid the straightener from her (I know, that was a dick move).

She told me I was being controlling and I shouldn't have a say in how she does her hair, which I would agree if she wasn't actively damaging it. She told her friends and now they are calling me an asshole.

Am I? ######

Response: YTA. You have no right to tell her how to do her hair. You have no experience with black people hair yet you’re going out of her way to tell her how HER hair works. ######


Prompt:
I have to make a short PSA video for a college project and I felt that my voice doesn't have that "announcer" feel to it. So I asked one of my friends to do it, he's done voice acting work for minor video games on the side so i figured he might be able to emulate the voice I want for the video.

So I asked him about it and sent him the script, which is **literally only 30 words** and he gave me a quote, which I honestly couldn't even afford. First of all, I don't think it's in the budget for the video. Secondly, holy shit it's only 30 words. It takes literally a minute to get the recording, at most.

So I just told him dude just do me a favor. It's just 30 words, and he starts laughing at me and calling me cheap. If he wanted a favor from me that only takes 1 minute and barely any effort then I'd do it for free, no questions asked. But he just said I'm being stupid.

I ended up doing the voice myself but I feel like he was being unreasonable. ######

Response: YTA. You have no respect for you "friend". He doesn't owe you his time or his voice. It's literally his job and you expect him to do it for free. You are cheap. If you want higher production quality then you need to pay what it costs. Otherwise do it yourself. ######


Prompt:
This all came out because one day last week my wife and I happened to go through the same drive thru for lunch. I didn't see her but she saw me and parked near my truck. That is when she called me and saw me pick up my phone, look at the screen and send it to voicemail.

She got upset because I screened her call, but I do this with everyone and not just her. However, she feels that since she is my wife it's different and I am being an asshole by ignoring her calls. She says that since she doesn't call often unless it's important and we have kids I should pick up unless I'm truly busy. Her argument is that it could be an emergency and I'd never know (she could always text or call my workplace so I don't think this is a good argument).

I don't agree at all with her view that I should pick up unless I'm busy. For one thing I believe a lunch break counts as being busy. I don't like to be bothered while I am eating, and I don't think there's anything unreasonable about wanting to relax on break. I also disagree with her claim that she only calls me when it's important. There have been plenty of times where she's called me about trivial things or to shoot the breeze. That's fine but I don't always want to talk. Sometimes I just want to focus on whatever I'm doing or not doing. She may not value relaxation time, but that doesn't mean it's fair to discount it.

I could maybe see her point if I never responded, but eventually I do call her back or respond. I just don't always do it immediately.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You have kids. You need to answer your wife’s phone calls no matter what. Learn to say “oh you want to repaint the living room? Oh what color? Actually can we talk about this when I get home from work? I’m on my lunch break.” ######


Prompt: I have HSV-1, the virus that typically causes cold sores in over 50% of the population. I sometimes also get it down there, but it’s the same virus. I went on a date with a guy I met on bumble last night. One thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. Yes we used protection. I wasn’t having an outbreak, so chances of passing it to him were slim to none. Usually I tell people I have herpes before sleeping with them, and they usually don’t care. I don’t know why I didn’t say anything this time around, I was feeling embarrassed about it. So am I the asshole for sleeping with him without telling him? ######

Response: YTA. You have an STD. Slim to none is still a chance. If you’re gonna be irresponsible and not tell someone that you have herpes then stop sleeping around. ######


Prompt:
I'm a shift lead at a fast food joint.

Here's the deal, I have this worker, Shannon (18f) who is on the shy side. I'm not saying she's ugly but when compared to the other girls working, eh, lets just say she doesn't get a lot of attention. It's Saturday, it's busy, I have 3 cashiers and Shannon running food and bussing. We're running low on certain ingredients so I send her back to the kitchen to prep. In the kitchen I have my cooks, all guys. There's Joe who is known as the crew's asshole. He can be mean, jokingly, but it goes too far sometimes and we managers gotta step in and redirect him. I wasn't thinking anything bad would happen. I thought Joe would be too busy cooking. Peaking in on the kitchen every few minutes Joe is cracking jokes about Shannon right in front of her. I tell him to focus on his work. I don't know when but 30 mins in I find Shannon in back crying in the utility closest. Most days I'd take her to the side and talk to her but most days we aren't getting slammed and I'm getting chewed out by customers. I ask her simply if it's because of Joe's comments. She says yes. I tell her okay, either she gets back out front, we discuss this later or she can leave and take a write up. She tells me she just needs 5 minutes. No. I need her out there now and seeing as she wasn't doing anything I tell her to get out.

I discussed it later with both my store manager and assistant manager. Joe is getting a write up and talking to but we also came to the agreement Shannon will be getting one as well for leaving early.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You have an employee who is known for being inappropriate and unprofessional who harassed another employee who is known for being a little sensitive. Instead of being understanding and letting her gather herself for literally five more minutes, you give her an ultimatum? So she's not only missing out on the pay for the rest of her shift, she's also getting a formal write-up. You obviously didn't need her that badly that quickly if you sent her home! She didn't "leave early;" you kicked her out. Jobs like these have such high turnover rates for so many reasons, but a lot of them boil down to too much pressure without enough pay and lack of appreciation and basic decency. I've worked fast food during rush shifts and the attitude and example of the manager greatly affects the mood and work ethic of the whole establishment. Smh... hopefully Shannon can find something better soon or at least gets a manager who knows to step in and actually shut down harassing behavior. (It's not "jokes" when it comes to work btw.) ######


Prompt:
My ex and I were together in 2014 and we split because I made a mistake and cheated. He ended up getting with another girl so I went over there to get my things and it escalated a little and a tv was broken. She left him after that and we got back together in 2018.

Some other things happened and we split again. Now here in 2020 I was looking on his Facebook and saw he was getting married and had a baby on the way. That really hurts me as we had two miscarriages together and now he’s having a child.

So I called him five times in a row with no answer. Well about five minutes later a call comes up with his name. However it was a woman who asked me what I wanted so I told her I was coming back to my house to get my things that I left. She questions me how long we have been separated and I tell her a few years but I still have things at the house. She tells me that I’ve had time to come get the items and that (fiancé) says that there is nothing there for me and if I step foot on the property that the police will be called and that I have no business coming to their house.

It was my house with him. I told her I have every right to come get my things even if it’s been a few years. They are still my items. I told her to mind her business and I’ll just talk to (fiancé) when I get there and she says “no you won’t, you’ll talk to me and a police officer, don’t call him again.) and hangs up.

I called my family who tell me that I’m the AH in this situation and to leave them alone but I called him to go get my things not talk to some girl he knocked up and moved in. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You had years. The only reason you want to go to the house now is create problems because you're hurt she is pregnant. You should seek mental help. ######


Prompt:
Ok. AITA or not?

My girlfriend (21 years old F) had a german shepherd. She got him when she was very little, so they’ve grown up together. When I met her the dog was old and having some health issues.

A few days ago I went to her house to pick her up and noticed that the dog was in bad shape. He couldn’t stand up and was panting. The poor thing was clearly in pain and was not going to make it. I told her to put the dog in my car and we drove to the vet.

The vet said he could save him but he’d need medication and specific care for the rest of his life. That’s not quality of life, plus it was expensive. My girlfriend said yes and we left the dog for the night so the vet could treat him.

It just doesn’t make any sense to me. The dog was like 13 or 14 years old, and my girlfriend doesn’t have the money to care for an elderly pet. I called the vet later and asked him to put the dog to sleep and to be discreet about it, I didn’t need my girlfriend to suffer anymore, if she thought he died overnight at least she had the peace of mind that she tried everything in her power to save him.

But now my friends are telling me that it was a very controlling thing to do and I had no right to chose what was right for her dog. I understand that it’s not my pet, but my girlfriend was too upset to make the difficult but right choice. Heck, we even had a small funeral for her dog and she seems fine. Like she has a weight off her shoulders.

But now I’m afraid they might tell her and she’ll take it the wrong way. I’m thinking of telling her myself first, at least she’ll hear it from me.

AITA???? I just wanted to avoid any more suffering for her. ######

Response: Yta. You had no right to do that behind her back. Whether  it was the “right” thing to do. What a huge breech of trust and disrespect towards her. You’re a huge asshole. ######


Prompt:
We had a new part time girl in our warehouse, a teenager, 15. She very soon becomes popular with us as she's hardworking, pleasant and sometimes give out snacks and small gifts.

At first I like her too but recently during a casual conversation she brought up that she her family is actually quite rich, that is why she could afford gifts and such.

When someone asked her why is she even working here when she could easily find other part time jobs that doesn't require as much labour and pays better, she answered that she worked here because she wants to train herself. She said that she wanted to prove to herself and her parents that she is a capable person if she could "lower her head down" and do "this kind of job" without a single complaint.

I am not sure what other people thinks, but to me I sense an undeniable arrogance in her speech which triggered me off. Not starting a sob story but I am definitely not as privileged as her and the reason I am working there is because I had no other options.

I kind of snappishly told her that she shouldn't be flattering herself. She is not "lowering" her head because she isn't any better than us, like, in terms of education level we are the same, if not just a little higher than a 15 year old right now. I told her that if she truly wanted to train herself she should start by thinking of us as equals.

The conversation ended in an awkward tone as she got red and walked off. The girl did not turn up later at all and she has actually gone home and quit the job without bothering to get paid.

The other colleagues said that I am being too harsh on a teenager who has a positive mentality and instead of encouraging her, I was a bitch. I admit,  my words slipped and I was indeed bitter for a moment, but I do think that she needs to know that we are not inferior, and we should nip that thought in the bud. If it made her quit the job it just means that she doesn't have what it takes that she thought she had. ######

Response: YTA. You got jealous because she's rich and decided that she must also now suddenly be an arrogant brat. Nothing you've stated she said even implies that she thinks she is better than everybody. ######


Prompt:
We have four kids: ages 11, 16, 17 and 21. We're also expats of 5 years (Sweden to Canada).

We've always lived in close quarters, we just couldn't afford an apartment with rooms for everyone. So our 11 year old daughter has shared a room with us for most of her life. We've always tried to quarter it off a bit with a separator.

Last year my two middle children (m/f) were deadset on going to "High School" in Sweden. My parents (their grandparents) live in Sweden and were willing to take them in. My eldest son moved out years prior, so that left just our youngest with us. At the time we were living in a three bedroom apartment.

When they moved out we let our youngest daughter have her own room, and she was ecstatic. This was her first time having her own room. After around four months, due to rent increases and since it was just the three of us, we decided to downsize to a two bedroom apartment. Our daughter visited the apartment with us and loved what would be her new room.

Shortly before we moved apartments (after signing the lease) our son (17m) had a change of heart about High School and wanted to come home. This was before the Coronavirus, but he'd been abroad for about 3 months and wanted to come home. Since he is the oldest we thought it'd make sense for him to get the second bedroom, and for our daughter to share a room with us again.

When this happened our daughter was upset, and requested to sleep in the closet to maintain her own "room". So that's where she's been, her mattress was able to be squished in there.

This somehow came up around a friend of a friend, and she gave me a look and told me that this was unfair and "severely inappropriate". I asked her what she meant by this, and she just scoffed at me.

Am I an asshole for this? ######

Response:
 YTA. You gave your daughter the bedroom. You can't take it back now.

>Since he is the oldest we thought it'd make sense for him to get the second bedroom

That's unfair on the 11-year-old, who will never not be the oldest, and has spent more than a decade sharing a room with her parents. You've asked a lot of her.

I can't believe the poor kid is sleeping in a closet. I know you don't have much money, but I think you need to size up, even if it means moving further out. ######


Prompt: we had been talking online for a couple of weeks, she seemed like a cool person and we seemed to get along really well. I drove about 20 minutes to go pick her up. As soon as she stepped in the car the Vibe was way off. She wouldn’t really speak, and I felt like she was sort of ignoring me while constantly texting on her phone. We got to the movies, picked one out, and settled to watch our movie. I asked if she wanted anything to drink or some popcorn and she only half heartedly gave a noncommittal no while still mainly on her phone. Right as the movie was starting I had the idea of just taking off. I didn’t want to settle for a 2 and a half hour long movie with someone who I knew there was no future or connection with. Under the false pretense of me going to get some popcorn, I left. I went to the front counter and got my ticket refunded for my movie and drove home. If someone does not seem interested in you That should  be it, and I figured that because we were so close to her home she would be able to Uber home. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You gave her a ride and then stranded her there without telling her. It's one thing to want to end a date, it's another to just leave without telling them and expecting them to find their way home. ######


Prompt:
I (F24) love my little brother (M19). He’s my best friend in the world. But ever since he became a teen years ago, he's had anger issues. It’s not like he was constantly angry, but when he’s furious, he gets verbally aggressive, hits stuff, etc. We sent him to therapy, but nothing. My dad asks me to talk to him because my brother "worships" me (my dad's words, not mine). But there is literally nothing I can do. I used to tell my dad that I was scared of the day my brother got into a relationship because I think he’ll be abusive. I know that sounds weird to say about someone who means so much to me, but it’s true.

So my brother got a girlfriend (also 19) before all this COVID stuff. She’s staying about an hour away from us right now. She’s got business nearby I guess, so my dad said we should have a socially distanced get together (he’s done this several times with family and sometimes friends where they basically sit across the yard and we have pizza in the middle). I have never actually met my brother's girlfriend, but this is basically the thing I’ve always been scared of. Now I obviously don’t plan on going up to her and saying "hey btw my brother has extremely bad anger issues so be careful" but WIBTA if I talked to her at some point when no one else was around or is out of earshot and tell her if she ever has any troubles with my brother she can talk to me? I honestly can’t think of any good way to possibly phrase it without suggesting I think my brother is abusive. I already feel like an asshole and it hasn’t even happened yet.

EDIT: All good points. You’re right. She has a support system, I haven’t met her yet, I can’t do this with every gf, and I feel weird because it is weird. Thank you for your feedback. ######

Response: YTA. You feel weird about it because it's an inappropriate thing to do unless you totally want to tank his relationship for no reason. Presumably she already has some kind of support system that can help her if she ever needs it but preemptively doing anything like what you're suggesting is way over the line. ######


Prompt:
I have a step sister, We are both the age of 16. So today I was in the room with my girlfriend watching a movie, Then she just completely bust open my door and starts yelling at me in front of her “You fucking idiot! Learn how to put the toilet seat down! Omg you are so dumb” then storms out my room. I was so embarrassed that she did that in front of my girlfriend.

I waited for when my girlfriend to go home, Then I went in her room and asked why did you do that in front of her? You could’ve waited, it was no need for you to cuss me out in front of her. She just ignores me texting on her phone, So I snatch her phone and say “You dumb bitch why would you embarrass me like that?! I would never embarrass you like that if you were hanging out with your boyfriend. BEFORE you sit down on the toilet check dumbass, it’s not my fault” then I dropped her phone on the floor and left her room. I don’t see how it’s my fault she should look before she sits down on the toilet. ######

Response: YTA. You embarrassed yourself, and you need to learn to control that anger mate. That's not even nearly a good enough excuse to talk to someone like that. Also I know this is a controversial opinion, but 3/4 uses of a toilet is sitting (women peeing and shitting, and men shitting vs. Men peeing) so in my opinion you should put the seat up, like putting a lid back on a can after using it. Your sister was a bit of a dick, granted, but you're being the bigger dick here (so technically ESH) ######


Prompt:
Throwaway cuz said friend uses reddit.

So I’ve known my friend B for about six months now. We met at work and we get along really well. She’s new to our company and from what I’ve seen, she’s a really good worker and fits the job well.

The other day she invited me over to her place for a girls night. I agreed and came over. About a couple hours into the night, she said she was going to drive to the store to get some popcorn and wine for movies. This confused me, as she’d told me before that she has seizures. I asked her about this and she said she’s fine to drive because her seizures don’t impact her consciousness. I said okay, she went to the store, came back fine and we had our girls night.

I seriously didn’t believe her when she said her seizures didn’t impact driving. I’ve seen people have before, they are not pretty, and they certainly impact consciousness. I’ve never seen my friend have a seizure, though I knew what seizures looked like and I knew she wasn’t safe on the road.

So I reported her anonymously to the DMV. A couple weeks later she called me in hysterics, saying her license had been suspended. She was panicking because she needed that license to drive her hour commute to work.

I honestly didn’t know what else to do besides tell her what I did. I told her she shouldn’t be driving with seizures. I told her I’ve seen seizures before and I know that there’s no way someone with seizures can drive. She called me an ignorant a-hole and said not all seizures are so debilitating. Now she’s not speaking to me, and today I heard my coworkers say she’s been laid off.

AITA for reporting her? I was honestly trying to keep her safe. ######

Response:
 YTA. You dont know her medical issue and you are not medically trained to make assumptions. Even so you have no proof that what she goes through impacts  her driving.

Not all seizures are what we see on tv... ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because I post about work on my main. I have a 7 year old son from a previous relationship, and my husband and I have been together for 3 years. While their relationship isn't bad, they have never been able to bond as a father and son, and so my son tends to give him a lot of pushback.

My husband has a large collection of figurines, which he has been collecting since high school. They vary in value, some are quite expensive, but all have sentimental value. Most he keeps in his office, but a few he keeps on display around the house. My son knows they are not toys, but over the last couple months we keep having to remind him as he keeps trying to play with them.

Last week my husband found a figurine in the wrong spot, and confronted my son about it. My son denied denied denied he had touched them, until he eventually broke down and confessed he had played with them. My husband decided that grounding my son was a good course of action, and since I want my son to recognize my husband's authority, I agreed. My son needs to learn that when my husband tells him to do something, he means it.

Unfortunately, this punishment overlaps with a camping trip my ex had planned with my son. When I informed my ex why my son was no longer able to attend, he was livid. He said my husband had no right to punish "his" son, even though I am his mother and agreed with the punishment. My ex is accusing me of trying to keep our son from him, since this would have been the first time in 3 months they have seen each other. (My ex lives on the other side of the country and travel restrictions meant he was unable to visit.)

My ex kept calling my every day begging me to change my mind, and my son has refused to talk to anyone all day, as today is when they were supposed to leave. If I take back the punishment, isn't that just encouraging bad behaviour?

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You don’t punish a kid by taking away time with his father. If he’s going to be grounded, fine, but he should be grounded with his dad. Time with his dad isn’t a treat to be taken away. ######


Prompt:
During my childhood my brother was way more successful and attractive than me, I wasn't too attractive when we were younger I was chubby with acne scars and I was also short though now I'm 5cm taller than him at 180cm.  I suffered a lot because of this, however, during school girls would pretend to be interested in getting to know me only to want to get with my brother, I had a crush on a girl who did the same and that's when I decided to ignore him forever they ended up dating for all of HS.

Anytime he was interested in a game I was playing or something I'd tell him to get lost, and eventually, he gave up and we just stopped talking to each other which didn't impact me at all. I went to university and studied nursing in a different state and I really flourished I was good at it and enjoyed caring for my patient's work placement was my favorite components of the course. I also started lifting weights and training MMA and even had a few girlfriends

I moved to the UK from Australia after a couple of years on the job and lived in London where I met my wife. Now we live in Scotland since she wanted to be closer to her family since our daughter was born, recently I got on a Zoom meeting with my mother since I work 4 on and 4 off and have nothing to do. And my mother asked if I would like to go on a zoom meeting with her my father and my brother another time and I said no thanks since I've been doing pretty well without him in my life.

My mom got angry and said she knows I had a hard time but I have to grow up and let go of my bitterness I doubled down and said that ever since he has been out of my life it's been nothing but better and it could regress by allowing him in my life. She said I was a being an Immature jerk and logged off, I told my wife what happened and she agreed with my mother and said I was being immature. If more than one person said so it's got me wondering AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You don’t mention anything about your brother actually doing anything to hurt you/your feelings, only that other people were using you to get to know him. You can’t put the blame on him for that, in my opinion. ######


Prompt:
My cousin (17m) says after he graduates from high school he wants to be a navy seal. I laughed my ass off when i heard that becuase he's at least 80 pounds overweight and he can't even do a single pull up, nor can he even walk up a flgiht of stairs without getting winded. He is too out of shape to even join the airforce.

As I was laughing he asked why i thought it was funny and i explained to him that there's no way he could join any military branch with how out of shape he is. He says im an asshole and I told him he needs to be realistic as there's no way the world's most elite special forces are going to elt him join if he can't do a single pushup. ######

Response:
 YTA. You don’t laugh at people’s dreams if you love them. The goal he set for himself would, of course, mean he had to get in shape. He’s not stupid. He knows that. He was telling you that he wanted to turn his lifestyle around, and you responded in just about the cruelest way you could.

I hope one day he does achieve his dream, and I hope you start to self-reflect. ######


Prompt:
So this happened pre corona, around January. My sister hasn’t spoken to me since then and I honestly feel like she’s dragging this out. All because I wasn’t on her side during the divorce.

So what happened was she attended a work event with her husband. It was a party and everyone brought their spouses. She was  pregnant so she wasn’t drinking. Her husband got pretty drunk and she saw him and another coworker flirt, her exact words were “His hands were on her waist and her hands were on his lower thighs”. They were dancing really close and whispering to each other smiling. My sister got upset and left the party in tears.

She went home and and packed her bags and called me asking if she could stay with me and wife for a few weeks as she gathered herself together as she was planning to divorce her husband. I told her to calm down and she told me the full story and I told her that she’s overreacting and pregnancy hormones are why she’s pissed.

I don’t consider this cheating and it’s something they can work through. To divorce other this? He was dancing with someone else. That’s not that serious. Plus you can’t just crash at my house for a few weeks because your husband smiled at another woman. She started crying and said I’m a horrible brother and she wishes our parents weren’t dead. I told her not to manipulate me and she blocked me.

It’s been so long and we haven’t spoken. She’s had the baby and she’s separated from her husband and she lets my wife and daughters come see the baby but not me. Was I really that wrong? If it was physical cheating then I could’ve understood but her story just isn’t enough for such a drastic reaction in my opinion. ######

Response: YTA. You don’t get to dictate why someone leaves their spouse. Your sister needed your help and you just left her in the lurch to fend for herself. What you think about her reasons for wanting a divorce is completely irrelevant. You’re a bad brother. ######


Prompt:
My dad (65M) and I (35F) used to be really close. My mom was a surgeon, so my dad was the one to pick us up from school, make us dinner, help us with homework, ect. I married my husband (36M) five years ago.

My dad is also a physician, and I can tell when he's entertaining guests because he has a distinctive bedside manner. It's polite and laid-back, but there is nothing of substance and I know he doesn't think anything he's saying is important. For the past five years, he hasn't had a single real conversation with my husband and I. It's all polite bullshit, and my husband doesn't believe me because he's never heard my dad have an actual conversation.

Last week, we visited my parents, and my husband mentioned some investments he was thinking about making (that I know my dad thinks is a bad idea, because I've heard him give a 2 hour diatribe about why its a shitty idea before). When he responded, "That's really interesting, it sounds like you've put a lot of research into it", I lost it and called my dad out for not saying what he actually thinks, even when it can affect us financially.

Later he pulled me aside, and he raised his voice with me for the first time since before high school. I asked him why he doesn't treat my husband like family. He told me that's not a decision I get to make, and that my husband is a guest and he's being polite. He also told me that I don't get to dictate what he feels comfortable speaking about and to who. That made me feel really bad, and my mom got upset at me for "embarrassing my dad for no reason". Now, I'm second guessing myself, but I also feel like its his fault for not actually caring about us.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You don’t get to control other people’s feelings or relationships. Your father treats your husband respectfully, and that’s all that matters. Why are you so intent on destroying the relationship they do have just because it isn’t fulfilling your needs? ######


Prompt: My daughter recently told me that she was a lesbian and I was disappointed in her. She's always been super passionate about gay rights and seems to not like men and stuff so I always suspected that she might be gay but every time I've asked her if she was gay she either said "no" or "I don't know". She said she knew all along so I'm mad that she lied to me and kept secrets from me. She says she doesn't owe me anything but I'm her mother and I think I have the right to know. I think I have a good reason to be offended that she doesn't trust me and I'm not actually mad that she's a lesbian but the fact that she hid it from me. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 YTA. You don't have a right to knowledge of her sexuality. She is the only one who gets to determine when and how she comes out.

>I'm her mother and I think I have the right to know.

You don't.

That is her private business. You pushing her to come out may have made it take even longer. ######


Prompt:
I have a 20 year old daughter. Shes always struggled badly with her mental health, all stemming from her dad passing away when she was 7. The way she’s always dealt with this is eating. Last year she went through a stage where she’d stay home from university simply to order a McDonalds, and this happened every day without my knowledge. Somehow she’s not massively overweight, just a bit podgy.

I also have a 17 year old son, and they get on really well. My son eats the entire house and puts no weight on and is an avid gym goer. Quite often he’ll ask my daughter if she wants to get takeout, and most of the time she says yes.

Last night he asked her if she wanted to get a dessert from a local dessert takeout. She, of course, said yes and ordered an XXL Brownie Waffle and a huge bottle of full fat coke. When it arrived I took the coke and told my son to tell her it hadn’t came. He told her I had it.

She storms downstairs all guns blazing and demands I give her the coke. She’s shouting and asking why I think it’s okay to tell her what she can and can’t eat. We get in a huge argument before she storms back upstairs. About ten minutes later I go upstairs to go to bed, and she calls me into her room. She says “you do realise I’m 20 right, why do you think you can dictate what I eat” and I, out of pure frustration, said “because if I didn’t you’d just keep going and fucking going” and walked out. She kept calling me to come back but I didn’t and went to bed.

I’ve woken up to her having taken the handle off her door so I can’t get in and not talking when I ask her to open it. When I text her asking her to eat she replies “oh I didn’t realise I was allowed to eat now” and just being snarky. I was just trying to protect her from herself. AITA? ######

Response: Yta. You don't get to dictate what an adult eats. Also, i n f o, what did you do for your daughter to help with her grief and lack of self esteem? ######