Prompt:
Earlier this year we sat down and had a talk about marriage. It's something we both want, and we agreed that we'll get engaged sometime before the end of the year. I was very clear to my GF that it will happen this year but would not give her a more specific time frame than that because I want it to be a surprise when it happens. She was fine with that as long as we get engaged this year. That's all that matters to her or so she said.

A couple of her friends recently got engaged which is when she started pressure me to propose sooner rather than later. I told her I was still in the process of planning things, which is true, and she'd have to wait. From that point on it seemed like every day or every couple days I was getting aggressive hints about proposing.

It eventually got out of hand and so last week when she again did this it upset me enough that I got down on my knee and started saying things that made it sound like I was going to propose. I sort of intended it to be sarcasm, which is often how I express frustration, but it didn't come across that way. She started to get excited so I quickly stopped and told her I wasn't proposing but that she needed to stop rushing me.

She thinks what I did was really cruel but I don't see it that way. I see it as a poor attempt to tell her to be patient but not anything way out of line. ######

Response: YTA. You don't fake a proposal to teach a lesson about patience. That IS cruel, and now when you actually propose, it will be accompanied by a little tug of doubt on her end if this is actually real or another prank. ######


Prompt: I have a 8 year old son who has an awful stutter. My wife used to have a stutter but grew out of it so we've been hoping for the same but thought it would be best if we just got help with it. My wife organised it and was suggested a Mr Timothy 'Surname'. All we knew was that he was good at his job and was 31. Awesome, got the ball rolling and his first session was this morning. Doorbell rings, I open the door and I see what's presentable as a 'women' with a bit of a facial hair wearing a suit (only saw the facial after he took of the mask). Peculiar but doesn't concern me so I asked if 'she' was sent in behalf of Timothy or if 'she' was here for another reason. That's 'she' said he was Timothy with a straight face. I paused cause I expected a bit more clarification but eventually my mind rebooted on its own and I figured that he was probably trans and still transitioning. Invited him inside and introduced him to my son who was a bit taken a back but was still good and I left them. They worked for an hour and then he was off. Spoke to my son and he was extremely confused and asked me all sorts of questions about him and whether or not he was girl etc. Which I tried to explain but my son just kept nodding like he did when he was just confused so I asked if he wants another therapist or not and he shrugged then walked off. I took this as a polite yes so my wife looked for someone else and I called Timothy and told him we appreciated his services but we'd found someone else. The guy was really cold over the phone and went "mhm" the whole time and called us assholes before hanging up (on his defense, I'm sure he said it while hanging up thinking we wouldn't hear). So yeah, aita? ######

Response:
 YTA. You discriminated against that man. Plain and simple, you committed a transphobic action against a perfectly capable person.

Your child never said he was bothered by the man, never said he wanted a new therapist, he was just confused and asked a question. And because you couldn’t figure out how to explain it “properly” you decided to withdraw your business?

Let me ask you this; if he was confused by how the bus worked, would you not take him on busses anymore?

If he was confused about the relationship between his mother and father if he saw you being affectionate, would you tell your wife you could never touch in front of him again?

If he was confused about how tv worked, would you never watch tv again?

Face it, he asked you questions about a type of person he had never encountered before, and all you had to do was say, “A trans person is someone who had the body of a man/women and is changing to become who they really are.”

He may have had follow up questions at another time, which you could have answered. There was no need to remove the therapist from your sons life when he could have really helped him. You just didn’t want to have to explain it, and help him understand that there nothing strange or wrong about trans people. The first impression you’ve given him subconsciously is that transitioning is not something that should be around him or be discussed, and whether or not you meant it that way, you’ve still been incredibly discriminatory. ######


Prompt:
I (19F) have been in lockdown at home ever since my university sent everyone home. A lot of my followers were interested in what i was up to so i started documenting my life in lockdown with videos.

Before corona I landed a big internship with a big company. People wanted to know how that was going so i started recording my meetings and one-to-ones and posting them on my site along with updates on what i've been working on.

One of the videos got really popular and my boss found it. He says I betrayed his trust and I shouldn't come to meetings next week until the issue is sorted out.

AITA for making videos of my own life? ######

Response: YTa. You didn’t make videos of your own life - you made videos featuring people who didn’t give you permission to do so. Yeah, you’re the asshole and likely to be an unemployed asshole pretty soon. ######


Prompt:
I'm not sure why I'm so disappointed. I think it's because whenever I used to think about my wife being pregnant I imagined her with an adorable big bump, really glowing and looking pregnant.

She just passed 32 weeks and it's so small, which is kind of surprising because I'm a big guy. She is very petite but I still expected our baby to big bigger than this. If she wears an oversized shirt and poses right you can barely tell she's pregnant. You can't tell at all from behind.

Lately she has been complaining because she feels so "big" and I commented without really thinking that she was so tiny compared to a lot of other pregnant women I've seen. She didn't believe me and thought I was trying to be nice and reassure her, and I said that actually I felt disappointed because of how small she was.

I'm not sure why she got upset. If I had said she was big or getting huge I could see. She acts like me saying she is tiny and barely looks pregnant is some sort of commentary on how well she is growing our baby, but that's not the case at all. I feel like most women would be thrilled if their partner said they were so small. But apparently I am the asshole? ######

Response: YTA. You didn’t give her a compliment, you said that you’re ‘disappointed’ that her bump is so small. You’re telling me that you told a highly emotional and hormonal 32-weeks pregnant woman that her having a small baby bump is somehow her fault and disappointing to you???!! Do you see how you sound here???? Or do I need to go on about how you sound like such an AH. You’re not the one pregnant, lugging around the extra weight that she is feeling, you don’t get to tell her that you’re ‘disappointed’ ######


Prompt:
Recently bought my first car, owner said it was in pretty good nick and well looked after. He had it serviced about 1k kms before selling so I don't doubt he thought it was in good condition. Check engine light turned on on the way home (in less than 10mins of driving). Had it checked, NZ$2500 of repairs. I told the previous owner and tried to open negotiations with him, however he sold the car to pay off the deposit on a new car so he isn't in a financial position to help me at all, not that he offered. I'm currently filing for a dispute to have my NZ$3144 returned to me and for him to take the car back, but he also has a wife and two kids at home, so I have no idea what this will do to his financial situation. Then again, I shouldn't have to pay for the repairs on a car that isn't in the condition he said it was (car is undriveable, brakes could go at any moment). I also wouldn't be able to afford repairs for another four months, meaning I wouldn't be able to use the car over my summer break from University which is the entire reason I bought the thing.

AITA for taking the previous owner to court to get a refund? ######

Response: YTA. You didn’t do your due diligence and it bit you in the ass. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because my roommate uses Reddit. Anyway, this past weekend I moved with my gf into a new apartment with a friend of mine. I've moved a few times over the past couple years and I hate it every time. Now that I'm doing a little better in life I decided to hire movers to avoid some of the hassle of the larger items. My gf and I moved all of our smaller stuff (books, clothes, linens, etc.) over the course of the past couple weeks but I needed help moving all of our larger stuff so I hired some movers.

We picked up our moving truck and met the movers at our old apt. That's kind of where I ran into the predicament. We hired two movers and when they showed up, one was a female. I normally would be totally fine with this but I had already moved all of the smaller stuff to the new place and was mostly looking for help moving the big stuff like our couch, dressers, bed, etc.

I felt like I needed to spot her going up and down the stairs with the heavy stuff and it kind of negated the main reason I hired movers: saving time and worry. She didn't end up dropping anything in the end but it took some of my attention away from moving other stuff on what was a very hectic day moving two different apartments into one. I paid the two movers the same amount ($150 for 3 hours of work) and then this is where I got into an issue with my gf. I paid the male mover a $30 tip and the female mover a $20 tip.

My gf was pretty irate but I felt it was justified since I had to spend extra time worrying about the mover dropping anything during the move. She says I should have still paid them the same.

So I turn it over to you guys, AITA? ######

Response:
 Yta. you didn't HAVE to do anything. You chose to be a close minded human and assumed a woman you've never met before couldnt do somethingq simply because she is a woman.

Edit: OH and you penalized her for YOUR bias and insecurities when she did NOTHING wrong AND did the same job as the other mover.  I hope you apologize to her and make it right. ######


Prompt:
So my gf often says her dad is her best friend. She adores him. She has dinner with him a few nights a week. She won't make plans with me on those nights unless I join them. She does weekly classes with him, she goes on...dates with him to the beach or to movies or just stuff at least twice a month. Again cant make any plans with her on those days. She'll even go with him to go shopping for his clothes. She tells on He needs a woman's eye.

They're super affectionate. Shes always holding his hand or putting her head on her shoulder, or cuddling with him. He's the first person she tells anything about her life too. Got a promotion? She has to tell her dad, got into an argument, she has to tell her dad. If she needs advice on anything she goes to her dad.

I once asked her if she loved her Dad more then me and she didn't want to answer me. I made her answer she said she did love him more then me. That boyfriends can come and go but he would always be there. That he's the one she would cry to if I broke her heart. I got pissed at her and said her obsession with her dad was creepy and unhealthy.

Im tired of being second place to him. I'm tired of feeling like shes having an affair with her dad. Im tired tired of competing with him for her time and attention. I'm tired of feeling like her dad is the third person in this relationship. I tried to talk about this with her but she just shut me down and told me in no uncertain terms she'd never let a bf come in between them and if I had a problem with that I could walk. What 24 year old girl is bff with her dad? That just seems so weird to me. It just seems to me she would rather just date her dad. Obviously my GF thinks I'm an asshole now. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You deserve to come after him in her life. He clearly understands, cares for and makes her happy better than you. Instead of getting to know him better since he's so important to her, your first instinct is to destroy one of her main sources of joy and pry them apart. Stop being jealous and selfish, the situation really isn't about you. ######


Prompt:
Me and my girl went to grab food. While we were heading there I got a call from a friend that I also do some gigs with. I'm ordering food while still on the phone. Some times passes and we take our food to go home. I tell her let's just eat in the car because I'm still on the phone. Eventually 30 minutes passes by the time I finish my phone call. We were just sitting in the car eating, really don't see nothing wrong with that.

She seemed irritated when I got off the phone but didn't express her thoughts until we got home. Told me I put work over everything and everyone sometimes and that It can frustrating and draining to people close around me. She even said that she wasn't the only one to notice. That even my mom said that to her. Which I doubt, because she has never told me that personally. Why wouldn't my own mom tell be something like that?

After hearing that, I understood sometimes I do go overboard but then I felt like she was disrespecting me. Not in a blatant way but in subtle way. That's when I said "you didn't complain when we went on a new years trip last year,  you don't complain when I pay for your food, you didn't complain when we decided to get a nicer crib to stay in." Then not to expect anything and act like me working hasn't benefited her and raised her expectations in life.

She was most definitely hurt, not even speaking to me but so was I by her comments. I work to put myself and other ones in a better situation. ######

Response:
 YTA. You couldn’t put off a work call for a half an hour so you could have a meal together like a couple?

And now you’re whining about how “disrespected” you felt when she called you out on behavior you’ve barely, grudgingly admitted was disrespectful to her in the first place?

Sounds like you’re due for a breakup.

Chin up, though - not everyone is relationship material. The world needs people like you to show others what they don’t want in a partner. ######


Prompt:
Hi guys, been working up the courage to post this shitstorm for a while now, but here goes. I (16F) have a brother (21M) called Sean and we were raised in a pretty typical Christian household. We both were made to go through church school and Confirmation and all that, but we both stopped going to church after Confirmation because we just didn’t care for it too much. Both still consider ourselves Christians, just a bit lazy with it and maybe somewhat agnostic? Anyway, my brother has never had a girlfriend and he’s in the military now actually, so after high school he never really had time for one anyway. Our family always assumed he was straight since he had crushes on girls in high school.

I was taking with my mom—she’s pretty homophobic, but she’s always said she’d never kid her kids out or do conversion therapy for being gay, just that we would unfortunately be going to hell but she’d still love us. The topic of gay marriage came up and I was getting annoyed at her homophobia and was saying stuff like, “so what would you do if me or Sean were gay?” She got all quiet and kept asking me if he was gay or said he was—at first I said “no, can you just answer question though?” She kept on asking me like “has he ever said anything to you???” and I just got fed up and lied. I said, “yeah actually, but he was too afraid to come out because of your homophobia.”

Conversation ended, she called Sean and asked him about it. Just like in the sitcoms, it ended up being one of those situations where you expose yourself because you thought the person already knew the secret. He was like, “how did you know I was gay?” Mom said I told her. I was obviously shocked, because I had no idea. I explained to him that I didn’t know and was just fucking with mom, but he won’t talk to me now. I get why he’s mad, but it was an accident. I wish he were just mad at my mom for being homophobic and not me, but I guess it’s complicated since I still outed him.

Anyway, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. you could’ve just left it as “what would you do if i was gay” and not brought your brother into it especially when it sounds like you suspected he might be gay. joking about someone’s sexuality is never funny or okay, *especially* when you involve parties who aren’t fully supportive of all sexualities. more so, using someone’s sexuality just to “annoy” someone (as you said in your comments) is beyond wrong. even if he wasn’t gay, this would’ve been wrong.

you have (likely) seriously hurt your brother and you need to give him space to reach out when he’s ready. you caused this, you have to accept the consequence of possibly irreparably hurting your relationship with your brother.

edited to add: a response to one of OP’s comments. ######


Prompt: Hi, this story happened a year ago, before the pandemic. Basically me (20f) and a group of friends went on vacation on Malta for two weeks. In the group there was this girl (18f) who was a friend of a gay friend of mine (20m). Since we were 4 girls and 3 boys we booked two rooms with 4 beds. Now, I knew from the start that the girl was a lesbian, but I didn't think that It would have been a problem for me, until we had to share the room. I swear It, I tried to act as if she was just like the other girls, but I couldn't help but feel unconmfortable with her around when I was showering or changing dresses. So I asked my friend of he could tell her to move with the boys because us girls were feeling unconmfortable with her around. He watched me like I suggested to kick her from out hotel or something but he said ok. And the girl moved. A couple of days later my friend sent me some screenshots. They were from a LGBT+ themed group on whatsapp. The girl wrote a rant about what has happened and there were TONS of hateful messages thoward me(the names were censored) I asked my friend why did he sent me those messages and he replied that he thought I would have found them "funny". I said that It was terrible and hurtful for me and he should reconsider being friend with this kind of people. He told me to relax and that no One knew which one of the girls asked for her to change room so I was safe. He also added that I "kinda deserved It". I lost my cool and I told him to f*ck off. He replied with a middle finger emoji and blocked me. I don't talk with either of them since then. But last week I was talking about this to another friend Who wanted to know why did we stop hanging around together and She told that I was a Little bit of an asshole. What do you think. I've never been homophobic thoward them, I Just didn't want to share a room with a person Who Is potentially attracted to me ######

Response: YTA. You could've just changed your clothes in the bathroom? Also just because she's lesbian doesn't mean she's comfortable to change clothes in front of the boys, so that is basically what she had to do after changing rooms and you could've done as well if you felt so uncomfortable around her. ######


Prompt:
Hey guys, I know the title sounds horrible but bear with me please.

I (23M) have recently started using Tinder. In the beginning it was just for fun because I was bored. I had no expectations from it and no intentions of really meeting someone. I matched with a couple of girls and started texting with some of them, but it was usually just a small talk and it never became anything serious.

About two weeks ago this girl texted me on Tinder. She looked a bit chubby and I don’t know why I swiped right, because that’s not really my type. Nevertheless I texted her back (probably because I was bored) and we started chatting. In went on for days and we really clicked. We had a lot in common and were texting almost every day, I was genuinely exited about her. We were talking about our friends, hobbies, family and pretty much everything. This went on for about two weeks and I asked her to meet in person. She was a bit shy and hesitant, but in the end we agreed to go on a dinner together.

I made a reservation in a nice Italian restaurant in the city centre and we were supposed to meet there. I came about 5 minutes earlier and she came right on time. When I saw her I was a bit shocked, because she looked a lot different in reality. In her pictures she was a bit chubby but in reality she was straight up fat (I don’t know if she used old pictures, or photoshopped her body or if she just took the pictures in in right angles). She looked exited and started a conversation, but I just couldn’t. I told her that I expected something else, apologized, paid for my drink and left.

When I came home my roommates asked how my date was and I told them. We had a pretty heated debate about this, because two of them thought I was a dick for leaving her like that just for having a couple more pounds and the other one though I didn’t do anything wrong.
So what’s your opinion guys AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. You could of still enjoyed a nice meal, a few drinks, and possibly good company/conversation. Then ended the date and parted ways. You could have even offered to go dutch if you were didn't want to pay for everything.

I know big girls may not be what you were expecting or attracted to, but like she is still a person who probably was very nervous and put time in getting herself ready. ( For girls sometimes getting ready can take hours)

Was going home to your roommates complaining about her better than, enjoying some food and conversation? ######


Prompt:
All this Started over a simple mistake I made at a party, One thing lead to another, and I had sex with this girl. I was already dating a girl but I just got  carried away at the party. The guilt came to me later on I couldn’t stand looking at my girlfriend and knowing what I did, So I had to talk to someone, and that Someone was my older sister. She Was the only person I could trust.

When I told her she was completely shocked, She thought I was joking. Then once she realized that I wasn’t joking she started to freak out, and said “You need to tell her, Or I will, I love you and all, But what  you did is disgusting. Mom raised you better than that.” I told her she is not ready yet and she doesn’t need to know now. It is to much for her. She immediately called her and told her I tried talking the phone away from her, But she ran, and locked herself in the Bathroom, and her boyfriend made me life.

When I got home she was in the living crying, God I felt so bad. I just made one mistake now things are over. She asks me “is it true” I couldn’t lie to her no more I had to tell her it was the right thing to do. Soon as I told her “yes it’s true” she broken up with me. She left me to be alone. I couldn’t believe my sister just told on me like that, how could she just throw me under the bus like that? I was so heart broken, How could my own sister do this to me? Then I got to thinking if I can’t have happiness why should my sister? Why does she get to keep her secrets away from her partner?

So I called her Boyfriend and told him about the abortion she got before they were together, he kept asking “is this true why would she keep this away from me?” I simply told him “Go ask your girlfriend why” later that night I get a phone call from my sister, she said she never wants  anything to do with me and it wasn’t my place to him that, But it wasn’t here place to tell her that I cheated. Life is so crazy ######

Response: YTA. You cheated on your girlfriend and tried to minimize it. Fyi, cheating is not a “mistake”, it is a conscious choice. You betrayed your girlfriend destroyed your her trust. You should have told her immediately. Your sister was right to call you out on it. She should have given you more of a chance to confess instead of calling her immediately but she was rightly horrified by your attitude. Good intentions, bad execution. You on the other hand, weaponized a secret out of pure spite. You WANTED to break her heart because yours was broken, even though it was your own fault. And that’s gross. ######


Prompt:
So me (31M) and my wife (23f) have been together 3 years, married close to two. We started living together shortly before getting married, and she was super messy. Even before we moved in together house was a total mess. According to her family, they never taught her to clean so she doesn't know better.

It always got on my nerves, but she gradually got less dirty so it was whatever. Well we had a baby recently, and during the pregnancy she actually started to clean here and there. I'd usually comment on it like "wow, you're actually cleaning!" Or something of the sort because it was actually a shock.

Now, the baby is here and she's recovered and she's actually cleaning a lot every day. The other day she started sweeping, mopping, and vacuuming right after having breakfast, and cleaned the kitchen and the kitchen table then did the dishes. I said something like "man, I can't believe you're actually cleaning. I guess you finally decided to grow up and stop being a child now that we have an actual child" she got pissed off and told me to go fuck myself, then went to the room and ignored me pretty much the rest of the day. That was 4 days ago and she barely will talk to me and hasn't cleaned at all since then. So now I'm wondering AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You can just say the kitchen looks great. Or thanks for doing the dishes. Without sarcasm. Or you could say the kitchen looks great, is there anything I can do to help? ######


Prompt: We were having a conversation with soon-to-be parents and I said something to the effect that you love your kids more than life. Later my asked me about it and I said, yes, I love our 8yo more than anything in the world. She said "so i guess I'm also not the love of your life?" I told her honestly she was not. My son is. The love I feel for him is 100x stronger than the love I have for her. She cried and went off about how she feels the opposite. ######

Response: YTA. You can have different kinds of love for those in your life. Are you still going to love your son 100x more than your wife in ten years after he's moved out and he's an adult man? And you're living an empty nest with your wife? ######


Prompt: Me (34f) and my spouse (34M) have been together for several years, always talked about having kids.  But tbh the current situation due to the virus that won’t be named has made me completely change my mind.  Our dogs wake me up before my alarm daily to be fed and now that I WFH I’m ALWAYS around them. It’s exhausting.  I can’t imagine kids being worst bc it’s already at the bottom. Even tho having kids has been my spouse’s dream, I just can’t any more.  I restarted my birth control last month and I haven’t told him yet. Honestly, I don’t really feel like I need to tell him (we don’t consult each other on starting/stopping other medications).  We just got kittens, too so the terrible twos are around the corner. I really feel like I’m getting the parent experience from our pets anyway. We’ll revisit the kids conversation at some point, but I feel like it would be better to wait until after quarantine.  AITA for deciding not to have human children and restarting my BC? ######

Response: YTA. You can absolutely start birth control at anytime you want and decide you no longer want children at any point but making this decision while being married to a person that you know wants children and not telling them so they have a choice to stay in the relationship is wrong. ######


Prompt:
So I’m in college, and in the US we have a program called ROTC at most colleges and it’s kinda like a fast track to commissioning into the military. To be in the program, there are pretty strict physical fitness and BMI requirements to go further than halfway through the program.

Last month on of my friends from high school told me she was thinking about joining, and asked me for my help about planning her schedule around it. In the program, we have physical training 3 mornings a week which, for someone who doesn’t work out regularly, could be very intense. So I warned her that if she wants to join, she needs to start working out, eating right and losing weight. The exact words I texted her were, “So our workouts can be pretty intense for people that don’t ever work out. So you need to eat a lot healthier than you do now and start regularly working out so you can slim down, because your BMI is probably too high right now”. And she left me on read. I texted her to ask what’s up and still left me on read. I hadn’t heard from her until last week when our mutual friend texted me telling me that I needed to apologize to her. I of course asked why and she told me that I had really hurt her feelings. I felt bad but I told the mutual friend, that I told her what she needed to hear and what she needed to get into the habit of changing if she was serious about joining. Am I the Asshole? ######

Response: YTA. You came off as massively condescending. If she flunks out of the course because of the physical requirements, then that's on her. She doesn't need your attitude weighing her down. ######


Prompt:
I (17f) was a bitch in middle school and first 2 years of high school. I admit it. I’m not proud of it, I don’t really even have an excuse for it. There was one girl I was really bad to... she was fat, weird, and kinda obnoxious but she’s cool now. and she and I recently got assigned to work in a partner project together.

We were FaceTiming and she was being weird. Everything I said she would just respond with “mhm” and she was barely talking. I asked her if she was ok, and she said “working with you? Not really”.

I asked what she meant, and she said “I’m still angry with you”. I said “are you seriously still hung up on how I treated you 2 years ago?” She said yes, how she was “dealing with binge eating disorder and her shitty mom” and how I “made things a thousand times worse”. I said it’s not like I could have known any of that, and it would be easier for her if she could just forgive me.

She got angry, said “you’re still a fucking bitch” and hung up.

AITA for saying that? She was being annoying. I was only 11 when I started being mean to her and I stopped 2 YEARS AGO but she still treated me like shit. ######

Response:
 YTA. You bullied her for what, 3-4 years?? She owes you nothing.

Also- you mention that you stopped, but did you ever actually apologize? Even if you did, she still doesn't owe you forgiveness though. ######


Prompt:
My oldest daughter is expecting her first child with her partner. She, I think, overshares when it comes to her pregnancy, but it's not my decision so I don't say anything. I see most of the updates on her Facebook, so really there's no need for me to ask her about the pregnancy when we talk, not that I really want to know any of the details. To me that's something that she should keep between herself and her partner and any friend or family that ask to be involved and she wants to involve. I have not asked to be involved and am fine being left out of the loop. In fact that's what I prefer with things like this.

I almost never ask her about her pregnancy when we talk. I think I've done it once or twice but can't remember why I asked. Usually I let her talk about it and just nod or agree with what she's saying, but I don't engage. She has never said anything to my face about my lack of interest, but she has complained to my sister and a few other family members who've let me know.

My sister told me I was being an asshole to her by largely ignoring the pregnancy and not checking in with her. She said that my daughter feels unsupported. I'm just not sure what she really expects. If she really needs help, I will be there but otherwise I feel this is better left to others in our family and don't want to be involved. It's not like there is a shortage of people wanting to check in with her and get updates.

In my defense, when my ex was pregnant it was the same. Some people are interested in pregnancy. Some are not. I am in the latter category.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. You being uninterested in your own partner’s pregnancy is atrocious considering you are the father and it takes two to make a baby. Do you think carrying a baby for 9 months and birth is easy or something?

You are doubly the asshole for then being uninterested in your daughter’s pregnancy when it is not only one of the most important events of her life, but also the most physically traumatic.

How would you feel if your wife, daughter, and future granddaughter write you off because they are simply uninterested in you? Bet you wouldn’t like that. Or what if you get sick? Get cancer? Get in an accident? Would you expect them to care?

This whole thing reads like a toxic, misogynistic, narcissistic satire and I feel bad for the women in OP’s life. ######


Prompt:
(Posted on behalf of someone who doesn’t have reddit - I’ve been discussing this all day with her)

My (57 F) daughter (32) recently gave birth and called and let me know hours after the birth. I was the first person she told but I think it’s strange she didn’t ring me immediately. She didn’t have a long labour and was out of hospital very quickly.

I then hinted very obviously that I’d like to see the baby by asking if she wanted anything and I would come and drop it off but she said she was fine. I feel like she should invite me to come over. I won’t hold the baby or come inside because of COVID but I would like to wave through the window. It’s also awkward when my friends ask if I’ve seen the baby yet and I have to say no.

AITA for being angry and upset with my daughter about this and trying to get my family to understand my point of view

Edit- Op here, after I said as gently as possible that she ran the risk of making her daughter think she was making it about her, she got very defensive and asked why I’m never on her side. She’s still convinced that her daughter is in the wrong and I’m not sure if it’s even possible to get through to her at this point. Thanks for all the comments, was beginning to feel guilty for not supporting her. ######

Response: YTA. You aren’t entitled to anything. It doesn’t matter how long your daughters labor was. If she didn’t call you until she had a minute, that’s all you need to know. As far as waving through the window? Nope. Your daughter will let you know when she’s comfortable with guests coming to see the baby. End of story. ######


Prompt:
As a bit of background. When my son was 17 he came out to me and my wife. I accepted him but my wife didn't this lead into a big argument between him and I vs my wife that almost ended physical. It ended with me and him packing our bags in moving in with my parents for a while. After 2 weeks she and I had a sit-down and we talked alot and I managed to convince her to change her beliefs about gay people and slowly she became better. I begged my son to please come back during those few months but he refused even after his mom apologized multiple times. When he turned 18 he moved out of my parents' house and went to live with his boyfriend. He blocked BOTH of our numbers and everytime we'd ask someone else for their phone to use he would just hang up. Eventually we both gave up but we made sure he was okay through regular social media stalking.

Now he's 22 and he actually contacted me a few months ago. We've hung out a bit and we've really reconnected and we got in touch again. Turns out he was working 2 jobs and doing college on top of that just so he could afford supplies, an appartement and food. Then his mom came into conversation and he refused to see her again. I really tried to encourage him to do so because she's become a way better person. Eventually he told me the real reason why he was here, it was for me. He told me that I had to choose between my wife or him because he would not tolerate having a dad who's married to the person who made his life miseral. I told him that I was neutral but he told me that it was either him or not him. Eventually I told him I love both him and my wife and he left. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You aren't neutral, you're on her side. No one is obligated to forgive their abuser even if they've changed. I do feel for you though and am grateful you did initially try to help him. Still though, he doesn't have to reunite with someone that made him miserable. ######


Prompt:
I (26M) live with my girlfriend (26F) of two years in Paris. She’s French, and I am American.

My job is 100% in English. I can say a couple very basic French phrases, but that’s it. Nothing more.

My girlfriend is totally fluent in English as she attended college in the UK, so there is no communication barrier there whatsoever.

Recently, she’s been asking me to take French classes because the language is “important to her.” I respect that, but I don’t want to because 1) I work like 70 hours a week, so I hardly have time and 2) even if I did have the time, I just don’t want to. I am bad at language learning.

AITA ######

Response:
 YTA. You are underestimating the mental load that she has taken on. How do you deal with all the paperwork, bills, finances etc when you don't speak French? What about when you go out with your friends? Or when you go to a restaurant? Do you expect her to translate everything for you? Or do you expect everyone else around you to accommodate you and speak in English?

Maybe she doesn't want to always have to speak in her second language in her own home. I think it's a bit of a slap in the face to her that you don't care to learn her language, despite the fact that you live with her in France. Even if you don't do well, it would probably mean the world to her if you just tried. ######


Prompt: Diagnosed with a kidney disease that ended up shutting my kidneys down back in 2017 and ended up on dialysis which has been a marathon of surgerys and hospital visits due to complications. I am on the waiting list for a deceased kidney but still looking at another 2-4 years before getting an offer. I’ve had several friends and a few family members attempt to be my live donor but none have passed the screening. My doctor recommended i ask a closer family member such as my brother to be my donor as it has a much higher success rate and typically lasts longer. I asked him and he flatly said NO because he doesn’t want it to interfere with his life plans which involve travel. He’s a single guy and i’m married with 5 kids and i feel like he could’ve at least thought about it a little bit. When i tried to bring it up again after another medical setback, he accused me of being an asshole for making him seem like the bad guy. Sooo...AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You are not entitled to his body parts. I'm very sorry for what you're going through but that doesn't mean he owes you something. Also TA for making it sound like your life is more valuable because you have kids and he doesn't and trying to make him sound shallow by saying this will interfere with travel plans. I get that you're feeling desperate but it's not his responsibility to fix. You don't even know you'd be a match so why don't you work on the assumption that you wouldn't be and move on. ######


Prompt:
I've worked at this company for 3 years. my 3 year anniversary landed on the same day of my SO proposing and to top it off I'm getting promoted. I was expect at least something from my coworkers. like small party, gift, nothing fancy.

I was pretty hurt when I came in that week to find nothing. there were congrats and well dones but nothing else.

I poured my eyes out later to my SO later and expressed how uncared about I felt. he contacted one of my coworkers, soon to be employee, and she went to my manager and set something up. they had a little buffet in the break room. just the common stuff: veggie platter, dips, chips and sweets like cookies, tarts and brownie, some banners.

at the end of the day I took the leftover home with me on the plates/tupperware they came in on. the coworker (again, my soon to be employee) text me that next day asking if I took the sweets she made along with the plates. I said yeah and she got super hostile.

apparently she wanted to keep those in the break room for those unable to attend the party could still eat and nowhere did she say this was all for me. she also needed the platter plate back because she was making a birthday cake for her niece.

my SO and I both agreed it was wrong for her to text me like that and seeing as it was my party, if I wanted the leftovers, I deserve them. but he thinks I should just apologize to keep the peace. If I'm not wrong I don't see the point. ######

Response: YTA. You are not entitled to a party. The fact that you cried to your fiancé about not getting a party and then having him basically TELL your coworkers to throw one is actually ridiculous. You should be embarrassed about acting like that. Also, you should’ve asked before taking someone’s food home. It’s common courtesy to keep sweets and small things for the people who couldn’t attend. I get that in your eyes you accomplished a lot but 3 years is not a long time. I hope you know your new employees hate you lmao ######


Prompt:
I've been going to see the same stylist for about a year before coronavirus. We had a lot in common (by coincidence, I happened to be visiting his hometown a great deal that year because several friends had moved there), but I guess in retrospect this friendliness was probably part of his 'sales patter.'

After the lockdown in March, since I knew 100% of his income was coming from his work and he was scheduled to be married this year, I emailed him asking if he was doing okay, and we chatted briefly by email.

Later that month he emailed me to let me know he had made a note of all appointments that had been scheduled and "all booked appointments during this time are my priority to be re booked once we get back into work."

I had emergency surgery in early July, and am only now feeling better. I noticed that the salon Web site says they're taking customers, so I emailed him to confirm if they were open.

He replied that they'd been open since June 24th (when they were legally allowed to reopen), said he had finally gotten through all the voicemails and emails from their shutdown, and asked if I wanted to schedule an appointment.

Honestly, this is upsetting. I'm not the typical young/attractive person that goes to that salon, but I went because they offered a specific treatment I couldn't easily find elsewhere. I'm guessing if I hadn't emailed him, I'd have never heard back from him.

The complicating factor is that I thought we had some kind of acquaintanceship at least, so it hurts to think that even though I'd emailed him during the lockdown, and I've been a regular for a year, he couldn't be bothered for two months to let me know they'd reopened.

I replied that I'd be in touch. WIBTA to just ditch him and take my  business elsewhere, or am I being overly sensitive? ######

Response: YTA. You are getting way too mad over nothing. Literally fighting to keep your business alive during a pandemic will keep you busy. Don't take it so much to heart. ######


Prompt:
Last year, my daughter was in 5th grade and my son was in 1st grade. Their elementary school has an earlier pick up time for 1st graders than 5th graders, and I work an hour away from their school. Consequently, I chose to put my 5th grader in afterschool care at the YMCA and to bring my 1st grader home to be cared for by his grandma while my husband and I work.

After my daughter complained to me about having social anxiety at the YMCA countless times, and after her 5th grade teacher also complained about having to bring a crying kid over to the YMCA staff, I decided to pull her out and use my lunch break to pick both kids up.

Unfortunately, I didn't see my daughter making good use of my sacrifice. I mean, I'm a parent of 2 young kids and don't have me or free time as is for anything. Her math grades were not good initially - she got an 84 on the first test, 88 on the second, and 92 on the third one. When I looked over her test, it wasn't even that she made silly mistakes, it was that she just did not seem to understand what the test was asking.

My husband and I expect top-notch academic achievement for our children, especially now that I've taken away even more me-time for myself and eat lunch in the car instead of at a comfortable space in the office, and I told my daughter that she had to do better last year because of this.

My daughter eventually did get all A's in math and other classes in 5th grade, but I saw that her teacher emailed me at the end of the year saying that while she had improved greatly and had the highest grade in the class, my daughter talked to her about "pressure from mom" so AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You are emotionally abusive. Go home, hug the fuck out of them and stop putting pressure like that on your kids. ######


Prompt:
So this whole situation is ridiculous, and she's technically my ex gf I suppose.

My 30 m ex chloe 27 of 6 month's has a medical condition called fibromyalgia, she used to be 5'1 and 180 pounds, but since got down to 140 pounds via diet but no exercise.

I always said no exercise would come back to bite her in the ass and lo and behold as of last month she had to be admitted to hospital for covid and because she's so unfit it almost killed her.

Chloe is still using the excuse that she's always exhausted and too exhausted for any exercise at all.

So the doctor gives her steroids for her lungs and a bunch of other medication.
He the  tells her to join a gym or to start a very slow walking routine.

What drives me crazy is this,  I'm a personal trainer at a pretty high end gym in the area, so I advised chloe that her strength would increase much much faster by starting a lifting routine.

But she immediately shot me down saying she can barely lift a shopping bag and that she wants to follow the doctors plan.

Chloe is on heart medication, a betablocker because her heart races the second she dose any kind of cardio, and this doctor has her starting a walking routine ...

This issue kind of festered for a few days until I told chloe I thought it was all bullshit and that she needed to listen to me or have a heart attack on the treadmill.

What I didn't expect was for her to say she been checked out of our relationship for awhile and how I handled her health during covid did it for her.

Despite the fact that I've done nothing but try and help in an area I literally work in? AITA for trying to help? ######

Response:
 YTA. You are clearly the worst personal trainer in the world if you think somebody can just shrug off fibromyalgia and start going hard in the gym. Your ignorance about medical conditions is astounding and the advice that you give people is so bad it's going to get somebody serious hurt or perhaps even killed.

You didn't "just try to help". Your ignorant advice and badgering actively hurt because of your astounding ignorance. Did you even try to educate yourself on your gf's medical conditions or speak to her physicians about them? Clearly not since you persisted in telling somebody to do things that would actively harm them.

I am so glad that she got out of this beyond toxic relationship and is free of you now. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been living with my roommate for about 2 years now, we have a really nice arrangement and get on well. When we both moved in, we both had boyfriends. She broke up with hers soon after, and I’m still with mine. Initially when we moved in, we had an agreement that we’d only have sex if the other one wasn’t home as to avoid any awkward viewing parties or conversations, and this happened up until my roommate became the village bicycle.

She started bringing guys back to our apartment literally every weekend, bringing them into our space and making me super uncomfortable. She then started having extremely loud sex to the point our neighbours could hear and made complaints, but that didn’t stop her.

Then as a way to get her to realise how loud she was being, I started initiating sex with my boyfriend whenever he was at the apartment and she happened to have a guy back. At first it made my boyfriend uncomfortable that we could both hear each other but  went along with it. I try and be loud and irritating during sex so she can get the hint, which pisses my boyfriend off.

Last night it happened again but for the first time in a while due to lockdown restrictions. I tried initiating sex with my boyfriend but he instead pushed me back onto the bed and told me to get off him as I “only want sex with him when it’s to piss my roommate off” and he then went and told my roommate that I was insecure and that’s why I always had sex when she did. My boyfriend and I aren’t speaking, nor are my roommate and I. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You are basically using your boyfriend as a sex doll in some petty ass pissing contest between you and your roomie. You are very much the TA. ######


Prompt:
A bit of background: I was involved in a bit of bad stuff. Let's say I did some illegal things. Like "sell sweets". But one day I got caught and got taken to prison. This was around the time my son was born. Now my wife was scared for her life and divorced me and moved out of the house we lived in.

Now I had come out of prison after serving my time and I was struggling for a job. Until I found a good role l that was tailored to me. It was going around the country to schools and explain to them the consequences of "selling sweets". Eventually after a year I got back on my feet and felt confident enough to  tell my wife I was a changed man. I was feeling excstatic over the thought of seeing my son.

So I did what anyone would do, I searched her name on Facebook and went through so many profiles until I found her. I knew to not contact her as she would shut me down straight away. So I found her brother and contacted him. I told him what I was up to and told him I changed. He believed me and eventually I got to speak to my wife. She understood that I wanted to be in my sons life, so she told me to come over.

First we met in a restaurant, as she didn't trust me fully. I was happy I got to see my son for the first time in 15 years. I teared up a little. But he was being cold to me. And after we finished she told me to come to her house. But on the way to her house my son screamed to my wife. That I was a random she got of the streets and I can fuck off. I wasn't in his life for 15 years and he can survive without me. That I was a pathetic excuse for a father.

I let myself out of the car and I booked a hotel on the spot. So reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. you are absolutely TA. let's break it down

• you got your wife and child involved in illegal acts.

this goes without saying. if you've changed enough to see how wrong and bad and blah blah blah it is, where is your apology to her for putting her through that?

• the second you went to jail, your wife divorced you.

"how could i be TA for this" because i've read Why Does He Do That? and your ex wife taking immediate action to get away from you once she was protected from retaliation is not a good sign. you still calling her your wife after 15 years of her being free from you is a very red flag. and even if all of that was wrong, you left her in so much outside danger she had to do all of this to be even vaguely protected from Your consequences!

• you didn't reach out. you've never tried to pay child support.

you have such a magical job now teaching kids to stay away from "sweets", but you don't have even a penny spare to pay to her? don't come at me with "but - but the courts said -" because if you'd been a goddamn man and actually raised your son, your minimum wage would have gone to him. you don't have $10? you can't send her $50 to offset even a single cost? it hasn't even occurred to you how far below the poverty line she must have sunk to provide for a child and a divorce and a move all on her own.

• you messaged her brother.

you knew she didn't want to see you. you knew what her choice was regarding you and exposure to her vulnerable son (HER son. you're a glorified turkey baster with none of the charm) but you felt so entitled to whatever you want that you deliberately went around her to an ally you hoped would help pressure her. you turned her own brother into someone it wasn't safe for her to depend on anymore, and used that to pressure her into a meeting.

• you didn't ask your son what he wanted.

you had all of this time to facebook stalk but couldn't find him? couldn't ask your flying monkey to ask him what he wanted, now that he's old enough to decide? is it because you knew he'd have grown up in the shadow of what you did to his mother, your EX-wife, and wouldn't want to waste his time on a relationship with a man who never wrote a single letter or bothered to apologize for leaving him alone when you got out.

• you abandoned him again the second he didn't respect you.

so this kid, who you never paid a penny or a drop of attention to until you got back out of jail and came to claim "your" "property" and your healing amazing story of a reunited family to write more condescending "dont do drugs" speeches about - this kid dared to speak up about not wanting you to come to his home or speak to him or pretend to care about him, and instead of admitting that you hurt him and being willing to cede control of the relationship to him for the chance to *create* one, you stopped the car and walked back out of his life the second it wasn't the amazing dream you think you deserve?

you haven't learned anything. you haven't grown, you haven't changed, and you didn't deserve one single drop of the faith your EX WIFE put in your little fantasy of recovery when you crossed every single one of her boundaries to try and bully her back. YTA. going to jail was the best thing you ever did for them. ######


Prompt:
My stepdaughter and I don’t get on too well. She’s 18, and I’m 27, so she massively dislikes that there’s an age gap between her father and I, he’s 35. My boyfriend and her mother were together until about 3 years ago, when her mom left and literally just never came home. She’s heard from her about 5 times in the past three years. I’ve been living here about 3 months or so.

She’s a good kid, but her father would literally let her get away with anything. She sits in her messy room on the phone to her boyfriend all day, does absolutely no work for college, has never had a job, and I feel as though my boyfriend massively babies her just because he feels bad her mom left. It is sad, but it’s happened now. Ive tried telling my boyfriend numerous times that he needs to be stricter with her and he says to let him deal with it because he’s her dad.

My boyfriend has been on a business trip the past couple of days so it’s just been his daughter and I in the house. I don’t think she’s come out of her bedroom once, and when she does it’s to ask me to make her food. Last night I made her food and took it up to her room to see it was an absolute mess. I told her to tidy it for her just to start an argument with me about how I wasn’t her mom. Impulsively I just shouted “Jesus Christ I can see why your mom left now” She told me to get out of her room and I heard her start crying.

My boyfriend has always told me she struggles with her mom leaving because it was so sudden, but she treats me like a stranger in my own home for no reason other than the fact I’m with her father. My boyfriend has said it was a massive asshole thing to say considering I know how much she’s struggled. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You are a stranger in HER house. It’s not your house. You just got there. That’s her house where her mother and father lived. Her mother abandoned her and the first thing you say to her is she’s the reason her mother left??? That’s extremely fucked up and there’s something wrong with you for feeling in any way justified. ######


Prompt:
My daughter in law, Katy, is currently 37 weeks pregnant with my first grandchild, a baby girl. I really love Katy, her and my son have been together about 6 years now and I have a good relationship with her, but we’ve recently come to a head on this discussion.

Due to COVID, the hospital Katy plans on delivering her baby in has a one birthing partner limit, and instead of choosing my son, she chose her mother. My son claims that they had a discussion about it and he was okay with it, but I think it’s completely inconsiderate of Katy to deprive my son of this incredible experience. Sure, her mother is her support system, but so is my son. Katy is also an extremely insecure girl, and has said she doesn’t want my son seeing her in that much pain and discomfort, which having 3 babies myself I do understand, but I do not think it’s good enough reason to not let my son see his baby being born, it’s his baby just as much as hers.

They come round to my house for dinner once a week,  usually on a Wednesday, so last night. My son got up to go to the bathroom so I decided to have a quick word with Katy. I wasn’t pushy, I just suggested that she should have my son in the delivery room instead of her mother as it was his right to be there. She said they’d agreed between themselves that it was okay, but I know my son and I just can’t imagine him being okay with that. I asked her why she didn’t want my son in the room and she explained why, her insecurities etc, and I told her she was being idiotic. For someone soon to be a mother she sure is childish.

She shouted for my son and my son was furious at me, telling me that he was okay with whatever Katy wanted and that he’d only be sitting outside, he’d get to see his daughter straight away. I said that wasn’t good enough and he said that if I kept this up I wouldn’t be seeing my granddaughter at all which is just ludicrous. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You are a manipulator. You waited until your son was away from his wife, and then attempted to strong-arm her into complying with your wishes. To make matters even worse, you targeted a pregnant woman, who is already in a vulnerable state due to hormones, etc. I doubt this is the first time you’ve done something like this, as your son threatened no contact. Be better. ######


Prompt:
My friend was just died in a car crash last week. She was dating this guy [18M] for a year. He is also my friend.

He has been in a lot of emotional pain. I was visiting him. I wanted to help him get over his loss by showing him his relationship was not so perfect. So I showed him some texts that his gf sent to me about him from throughout the past three months.

The texts were of her complaining that he didn't satisy her sexually, she misses fucking her ex, and that she thinks she is getting bored of him.

He was really shocked and upset. I knew it would hurt him at first but I thought after he would feel better knowing the relationship he lost at least wasn't the best relationship anyway.

But apparently he is even more depressed now. His sister called me to yell at me for showing him the texts, calling me an asshole. ######

Response: YTA. You are a HUGE asshole. Your friend was confiding in you, even if she shouldn’t have been talking about him behind his back and should’ve said it to his face. Not only did you screw over your DEAD friend, you ruined any positive memories he had of her that you could’ve let him keep and caused him more pain. ######


Prompt:
My brother started dating this new girl and I realized I recognized her from AA. I’m not an addict, but my lawyer recommended I attend some AA meetings to help strengthen my DUI case (and before you get on my ass for it, I made a mistake months back and got through it). I know it’s her because I remember her very unique name from the AA meeting and she also talked for a very long time.

I thought it was important to mention it to my brother is because I’m worried about her as a partner to him. In AA, she mentioned that not only did she use hard drugs, but also that she feels like she can’t control herself. She also admitted to drugs making her verbally aggressive and unstable emotionally, and at the time sue was not sober.

I know my brother, and I know that he holds himself and his partners to a high standard and that he hates drama in his relationship. I told him what she said and he broke up with her, and she basically stalked me and also called me an untrustworthy bitch who ruined her experience with AA. Honestly I think I was just trying to help my brother out, but some of my friends think it was messed up for me to tell him. But I think it’s better for him to know what kind of person she is ahead of time. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. You are a GIGANTIC asshole. Do you not know the definition of the word ANONYMOUS? It is completely wrong to reveal anything people talked about in those meetings! That is their safe space and you just violated it. ######


Prompt:
So my sister is older than me. She had two failed marriages due to the men cheating and had three kids between those. She works as a baker, cook, caterer at our local university. She has a trailer that was rent to own and she struggles a lot. She was in college but “took a few semesters off” when she got pregnant the first time.

Well she recently got married again and she says that he is the one this time. The guy she is with seems to over the moon for her and they are expecting a little boy. They just moved into his house in January and things seem fine for her. She has decided to be a stay at home mom and look after all the kids.

My grandmother used to babysit while she was at work which brings us to our argument. She told me that since I’m 22 now that I really should get a job and move out of my grandparents house that my grandfather needs to retire and come home but he can’t if I still live there because there isn’t enough money and I needed to pay my own insurance, food and phone bill and start acting like a grown man and less like a boy that my grandparents can’t take care of me like they used to.

This pissed me off and I told her that I was going to start going to college so I didn’t end up being a loser like her who had to marry and have kids to be happy. And that she ruined her life but I was happy where I was and she was just jealous of my life because hers is so god awful.

My grandparents overheard and want me to apologize to my sister. But I refuse to. She was in my business. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. You are 22. You should get a job so that your grandfather can retire. If you are trying everything and can’t get a job right now that’s different because the world is a tough place right now. Does not sound like you are.

I get that you don’t take criticism easily from your sister but she is right and concerned about your grandparents. Just because your sister made mistakes does not mean you get to use that as an excuse to be rude to her. ######


Prompt:
My daughter needed a hair cut so we went to the salon. The hairdresser had bright pink hair and her whole entire ear pierced. My daughter was very fascinated by this. She mentioned that she would like pink hair and was going on how she would also like many earrings one day too.

My daughter was adamant she wanted pink hair. Initially I was a little unsure but then figured it will grow out anyway and was not permanent. My daughter has a dark blonde to light brown coloured hair and we agreed not to use bleach. I was expecting the colour we chose to be a soft subtle pink without bleach but it did come out extremely intense and bright.

My daughter was very proud of her new hair. The salon also did ear piercing and my daughter noticed this and asked if she could get her ears pierced again. She was wanting a row of earrings like the hairdresser which was of course too much but after some discussion we agreed she could choose 2 pairs of earrings. I was expecting my daughter would 2 more added to each lobe (she already had 1 in each) but she wanted them all on one side. The issue I had was that the 4th and 5th hole would be in her cartilage as she could only fit 3 in her lobe. I raised this with the hairdresser but she said it would be o.k. We ended up leaving the salon with my daughter looking a little punkish with bright pink hair and 5 earrings in her left ear.

When we got home my husband was a little freaked out by my daughters new look. He was angry with me as he thought she was too young. He was also worried about what her grandparents and other parents would think. I told him to relax as it made our daughter happy but he seems to think that I went too far. AITA here? ######

Response: YTA. You and your husband should make decisions about your children together. ######


Prompt:
My daughter never knew her dad.

I met my now boyfriend ten years ago, but because of his addiction and personal issues, we were on again off again.

For the last two years, I didn’t see much of him because he was doing rehab and serving out his probation term.

We reconnected near New Year’s Eve 2019 and he’s really become a changed guy. He said he wanted me, him, and my daughter to be a family.

He told me he reconnected with his Yemeni roots, a big part of which is his family’s traditions devotion to Islam.

After he told me he was a practicing Muslim, I tried learned about his faith and this year I decided to convert.

I converted not just because I believed in the faith, but because I wanted to support my boyfriend.

He moved in a few months ago and he’s thrown himself into religion. Because I wanted us to support him as a family, I decided we would all make changes.

As such, I didn’t buy tank tops or shorts that are above the thighs for my daughter. I also asked that she wear a hijab.

Yesterday was my daughter’s friend’s 13th birthday party. She came downstairs and my boyfriend asked why she wasn’t wearing her hijab. She said it was 92 degrees out and she didn’t want to.

My boyfriend was offended and said that’s no excuse and women wear it regardless of the weather.

I asked for her to put it on and she refused. She complained that she was being made fun of and didn’t even believe in Islam.

I told her if she wasn’t going to put it on and was blaming the weather, then she could stay home. I then grounded her.

Was I the asshole for doing that? As a parent I feel like I have the right to raise my child in any faith that I believe in. Beyond that, she was clearly disobeying an order and insulting a religion.

I also thought the point of a supportive family is if somebody needs to lose weight, you start cooking healthier meals for everybody. I don’t get how faith is any different. ######

Response: YTA. You and your BF are picking and choosing your faith. The Quran doesn’t exactly approve of premarital sex but y’all are living together. Ooookay. Don’t force your beliefs on your daughter, especially when you’re not that strong a believer yourself. ######


Prompt:
13 years ago my family won a wrongful death lawsuit for the death of my husband and as part of the settlement my daughter gets access to a trust fund when she turns 21.

The trust fund would give her almost $40,000 a year until she turns 30.

I feel like that’s a lot of money for someone that would be 21 when it starts coming in, so she’s more financially secure than a lot of kids.

My daughter’s known about this since she’s been in elementary school. Since then, she’s gotten really popular on Instagram and Tik Tok as a dancer and singer.

But at the same time, she’s really been struggling in school, socially and with the work. She’s been held back twice so instead of graduating in 2022 , she will be graduating in 2024.

She is 16 right now and my state allows students to drop out at that age.

However, my daughter’s ex stepfather of 10 years is very much pro education and even though he doesn’t have much legal parenting decisions anymore, he talks to my daughter a lot.

He’s furious that she’s even considering hanging out in LA with other influencers and calling it a job.

But my daughter’s ambitious and also wants to do some mainstream modeling and acting. She also says she needs all day to devote to influencer collaborations and getting ready for events/ creating new content.

We started speaking with school authorities this summer but since school starts very soon, we had to make a decision.

Against her ex stepfather’s protests I signed off on the decision and she’s officially no longer a high school student.

AITA? We all know that she has financial backup the moment she turns 21 and I don’t see how keeping her in something she hates and finds boring is better than letting her do something she’s passionate about. ######

Response: YTa. You allowed your child to drop out of high school and think that’s okay? What happens when she turns 30 and the money runs out, she has no education, and TikTok has been shut down? ######


Prompt:
My older sister (K) and I are both attending the same college this year, I am living in the dorms (as a freshman) and she is living in an off-campus apartment.  I was all packed up and excited to go until K came into my room the day we were supposed to leave to tell me she was doing remote learning this semester. She said the reason she was staying behind so suddenly is that her research was canceled, although she has known it was canceled for 3 months. One of the main reasons why I was comfortable being on campus this semester was because K if the COVID situation gets bad, I could stay in her apartment. It's important to note that my parents were incredibly hesitant for letting me go on campus, but felt better when they know my sister would be in the same city as me. After she said she was staying back, my parents basically told me that I could go on campus if I wanted to, although they would prefer if I stayed back as well. With no time to make a decision, I chose to stay back, and spend my freshman year of college in my childhood bedroom.

I know I have it so much better than other people, but I'm mad that I'm missing out on so many life experiences. AITA for blaming my sister for a last-minute change of plans? ######

Response: YTA. You actually had the choice to stay on campus but chose to go back to your home, it’s all your fault, next semester you can try to go on campus again ######


Prompt:
I’m deeply ashamed of this but 10 years ago I had cps called on me. There was no abuse but we were trying to be vegan without cooking, I was very uninformed, and my kids weren’t getting proper nutrition. I took classes and we transitioned to vegetarianism and as of right now my boys are 12 and 13 and perfectly healthy.

We found out it was MIL who called and we had a strained relationship for a while. Eventually o forgave her because she didn’t do it to be spiteful and it was the motivation I needed. Our relationship isn’t bad anymore but she ignores all of us for the most part.

DH has a niece who is the golden child. MiL dotes on her and showers her in gifts and she hardly interacts with my boys. MIL really wanted a daughter and only had sons so I think that has something to do with it. The niece doesn’t like my kids and makes sure they are ignored.

We were all together at a family event recently and MIL interacted with my kids for five minutes and spent the rest of the time with my niece. When we were leaving I demanded to know why she called cps if she doesn’t actually care about my kids. I feel bad because it embarrassed my boys and now the whole family is saying I was rude. ######

Response:
 YTA. You acknowledge that your children were in danger, and she was right to call CPS. This woman did what was necessary to keep your children alive and well. It would have been hard for her to do. It may be hard now for her to have a relationship with the children knowing that she would also have to have an amicable relationship with you and your husband.

You "demand[ing] to know why she called cps if she doesn’t actually care about [your] kids" is not going to make her any more comfortable around you, and if she was a less decent person, she may have answered back "if you'd cared about your kids in the first place I wouldn't have had to call CPS." ######


Prompt:
My (23M)  best friend (23M) bought a house, i moved in and pay him 'rent' every month to cover part if the bills.

I have been with my girlfriend (21) for 5 years and she has pretty much always lived with me at my mums and didn't pay rent (she does have a full time job) because she wants to save money. When i moved in she was coming over  alot and now she is here almost all of the time.

My mate has asked me to get her to start covering some of the bills like 3 way split since extra is being used with 3 people being here. I said no since I dont see why she should have to since she never paid rent before and i know if i ask her too she will leave and go back to her parents which i dont want.
 Also my mate has a girlfriend who lives here for weeks at a a time when she isn't at Uni and she doesn't have to pay rent so why should my girlfriend?

He has now said if she doesnt start paying some money towards the house then she won't be allowed over more than 2 nights a week.

So reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. Yes, your mate might have a double standard for his girlfriend - but it's his flat, he is allowed to do that. Also, you simply assume that his girlfriend doesn't contribute. It's very likely that she does give him money or contribute by buying groceries for him directly.

Regardless of what's going on with his girlfriend though, yours definitely needs to contribute. The leasing agreement is between you and your mate, you're violating it by essentially having her here as an additional tenant. She uses heat, water, electricity and the phone - she needs to contribute to the bills. ######


Prompt:
My mom and wife don’t really get along. My wife said she doesn’t like my parents because they have no morals and they aren’t the greatest people but they aren’t like abusive or cruel or anything. My wife tried to ban my mom from our house because of something that had nothing to do with her and she tried to make it into such a big deal and was throwing around the term revenge porn.

My wife got really drunk on her birthday and was crying about her life. We had a long conversation about her insecurities and she mentioned that part of the reason she hates my mom is looks/career. I tried to comfort her and reassure her.

A week ago my mom came over and was playing with our daughter. I was going to leave the house with my mom and daughter to go to the park and my wife said my daughter wasn’t going without her and again brought up shit that had nothing to do with her. I went to Starbucks with my mom instead and she was upset and saying how she barely has a relationship with my daughter because of my wife. I told her it’s not all her and my wife is insecure and then I told my mom that my wife was jealous. My wife doesn’t know but I know it’s going to come up and I feel like I betrayed her really badly. ######

Response: YTA. Yes, yes you did. And I would really like to know what this 'thing that had nothing to do with her' is because I have a strong feeling it is a much bigger deal than you're acknowledging. ######


Prompt:
No. I´m not working as something cool like a cop or firewoman or something, unfortunately.

I've worked a lot with horror for the better part of our 5 year old kid´s life.
I do horror events/houses during the halloween season and have, among other projects, some horror themed gigs going on throughout the year (Movie props, trauma and horror makeup, some theater directing within the genre etc.)

The kid has been sitting by me when I make prosthetic wounds and body parts for her entire life. She meets and jokes around with the monsters, sees how stuff are made and have even played scary sometimes herself.
We´ve always made sure to have a very lighthearted and silly attitude to the subject when she´s with us. She does **NOT** get to see the finished movie/event/theater.

But for some time now, she has started having more nightmares than usual.
It´s ax wielding men in masks and werewolves hunting her. It´s a witch character I made that kidnaps and want to eat our family. Maybe a bit rougher stuff that most kids but nothing extreme.
My attitude is that most kids has periods where they come running and sleep with the parents when the boogeyman hides under the bed, right?
She doesn't tell us or seem like she's scared when awake and it's not like she can´t sleep at night.

Unfortunately my girlfriend´s parents have other ideas.
They claim that it´s my work and the props and oddities I keep in my workshop that spurs it on and is making it worse. That kids shouldn´t see and hear about these sort of things.
Now they have started bugging us about not letting her be with me when I work or be let in to the workshop. They say that we are scaring her.

Am I the asshole?

TLDR: I work with horror and my kid are around monsters, blood and gore all the time. Now she has nightmares. Her grandparents think it´s my fault, I don´t. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: YTA. Yes it's normal for young kids to have nightmares but your daughter is dreaming of the characters you are making. Clearly this is having a negative impact on her and you should (at the very least trial) not letting her in the workshop and see if her nightmares improve. ######


Prompt:
My stepdaughter (25f) is staying with my (40m) wife (44f) and I temporarily. My son (15m) stays with us every other week. He has online classes while the rest of us have to go to work so he’s alone at home for a good while.

Last week he decided to make a video and used my step daughter’s bras as props. He dyed them, cut them and used them as slingshots etc. She was extremely upset and said that they were practically unusable afterwards. Apparently she also uses “high end” bras that cost $85 - $90 a piece. I can’t wrap my head around that price tag - I know my wife doesn’t spend more than $50 on a bra. However he destroyed 5 bras so that’s about $450.

I don’t think that’s a reasonable price to pay for just 5 bras. My son had $200 saved up and offered that but she was still upset. My wife sided with her. I don’t think making a 15 year old who clearly can’t afford $450 pay the whole thing is fair either. She can buy 5 cheaper bras for $200. ######

Response:
 YTA. Yes bras cost that much!! Especially good bras!

Either pay for them or expect for there to be tension in the house. It doesn't matter what your wife buys. Her daughter bought other bras that are more expensive.

You are also TA for not raising your 15 year old kid to respect people's belongs and not destroy things that don't belong to him. You're enforcing and enabling bad behavior. You have a perfect opportunity to become a better parent by making your child realize what he did was wrong and has consequences.

In the real world he would be in serious trouble for destroying/ stealing $450 worth of merchandise.

Also its extra creepy to think that a 15 year old boy violated the privacy of a woman by going through her panties and bras and touching items that are extremely personal. You need to teach your son to respect women. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway as daughter uses social media

I have two kids one 18 year old and one 19 year old. The 19 year old who is my daughter was an affair baby. The mom cheated on me and had her. Later her mom passed away and I decided to adopt her. I also adopted my 18 year old son. I treated them both as my own.

Over the pass few months my daughter has been making fun of my son because he does not have the same genes as me. I never told my daughter she is adopted. I caught her in this act and I was angry as I raised them to never bully anyone. At the heat of the moment I revealed that my daughter is not biologically related to me and she was conceived from her mom cheating who is now dead.

My older daughter started crying and my son just left the room. She said she bullied him because I apparently favored him during childhood. I don't remember doing that as I did my best to provide them based on their needs. My daughter stopped talking to me and telling me to apologize for "lying" to her. So now I am wondering if I am the asshole. ######

Response: YTA. Yeah, your daughter sucks for bullying him and under normal circumstances I'd ESH it all day but you just told a girl that her past is a fucking lie in such a horrible, horrible way. Her world just came crashing down. Yeah she was a jerk, but no amount of teenager jerkness justifies what you did. ######


Prompt:
So this all started a long time ago, my father re-enlisted after 9/11 to gain the benefits of the post 9/11 GI bill. Which for those who don’t know thatallows you to select one of your family
members to receive essentially a free education at a public college paid for by the government.
At least that’s what he told me, fast forward 10 years of me being told that my college was taken care of and I apply and get in to Virginia Tech, a public school that’s out of state for me.
One month later my dad sits me down and tells me that the GI only covers the instate portion of the tuition and not the out of state (another 50k for 4 years) and that I would need to get student loans. This was Information that literally took me 30 seconds to find but he elected to tell me after I had already accepted. Now my mom had me leave the room and when I came back suddenly dad said he was going to pay for all of it and that he needed to take out a loan on the house. He makes 130k a year so no real financial difficulty if he didn’t spend most of his paycheck on his ww2 collection.
However anytime I talk to him he finds someway to bring up all that he has sacrificed for my education. So when ever possible I refuse to speak to him. He has recently started accusing me of being ungrateful for just about everything. In my eyes he’s not being generous, he’s honoring a deal he made 10 years ago that he broke. ######

Response: YTA. Yeah you do sound ungrateful. Most kids don’t get the luxury of having their parents pay their tuition. Your dad didn’t break any promises; he even took out a loan to pay for your entitled ass to go. You chose a school outside the requirements of the GI bill. If it was so easy to look up, why didn’t you do it before you applied? ######


Prompt: My friends and I were driving and came across a homeless dude. None of us had any cash on us. He looked decent enough. Didn’t look like he was on drugs or anything so I tossed him my credit card and told him to go buy food. My intention was to cancel the card after 30ish minutes I figured since he was homeless he couldn’t get online or make any large purchases within that time frame and the closest stores to our location were all relatively cheap food places where he could use the card to get a meal. He couldn’t possibly do much damage. Anyway, the homeless dude just looked confused and didn’t pick up the card. My friends said it was a weird and entitled asshole thing to do and that I was pulling a ‘power move’. I really just wanted to help out a hungry dude. AITA. ######

Response:
 YTA. Wtf ?? So you planned on giving him your card to buy whatever then signal it as stolen so you don’t have to pay for real? It may have led him to be arrested too. You are a jerk.
Next time go to a atm and give him some money so he can buy himself food. Also apologize. And don’t try committing fraud. ######


Prompt:
So my ex and I divorced when my kids were 2 and 1. I admit I wasn’t the best dad at first and I went a few months without seeing them which prompted her to take me to court for child support which she she gets from me every month now.

Now my ex keeps the kids and I see them when I can. I work out of town so sometimes I only see them 3 days a month. But i send her money to care for the kids and I asked her if I could have them on Father’s Day since I hadn’t seen them since May 15th. She brought them over and picked them up Father’s Day evening at 6pm.

I guess she had a cook out, dinner and presents for her husband. I mean completely over the top and we are friends on Facebook and she posted pictures of him holding my kids on their Vacation, or my daughter laying on his back with her head laying on top of his and my children snuggled up with him on the couch. There were a few others of him kissing her belly and a video of him crying as she told him they were expecting a boy. She told him that he was doing such a great job helping her raise the kids and that he was the only one she knew who would build treehouses, playhouses, paint a room just to please the kids and watch a Disney Movie every night and she loved how much he already loved his son and that they ALL loved him.

They all love him even my kids... she didn’t even tell me happy Father’s Day when she came over. I texted her and told her she needed to take the post down as I didn’t like the pictures of him with my children and that he isn’t there father that I am and she needs to realize that.

She pretty much told me to f””” off. My mother agrees she needs to take it down. My mother then messaged her and she told my mother “your son and I divorced over religious reasons he thought he was God and I disagreed and I see he still feels the same way” then she blocked her. AITA? Or is my ex? ######

Response: YTA. Wow. Nice touch calling in your mommy to fight your battle. I can’t imagine why it didn’t work out with your ex. ######


Prompt:
This happened a few years ago. I was at a waterpark with a few friends for my birthday. It was a group of 15. We all planned to just pay for ourselves and have a good few hours, but one of my friends decided he would pay for everyone as a gift to me. I tried to talk him out of it but he insisted on spending nearly $600 so no one else had to pay.

A few hours after, we all decided to congregate near the food court and get something to eat. The friend who paid for everyone's admission didn't order any food and instead thought we'd all share with him. Some people gave him a couple fries, someone bought him a drink, but I didn't want to share my food. I had a burrito, how do you even share that?

Upon hearing I wouldn't share, he got cold and left the waterpark early. I actually haven't spoken to him since then because he removed me from Facebook.

This is a situation I think about often when I'm laying in bed. Was I in the wrong for not sharing despite him spending $600 for the group? It was my birthday, why should I even share? ######

Response: YTA. Would it have really killed you to spend the ticket money you would have spent anyway to buy your friend a meal? I get he didn’t have to spend $600 dollars on everyone but you were being ungrateful.  The fact that you stay up late at night thinking about this just goes to show you subconsciously already know you’re the AH in this situation. ######


Prompt:
Before you judge, please read everything (I kept it short). I am not blaming him for this.

Yesterday, my son (16M) confessed to me and my wife that he is gay. My wife was counseling him telling him its ok and that we will love him no matter what but I was just speechless. I know it’s not his fault he is gay, and I definitely don’t hate him for it, but at that moment I just felt like my heart dropped down into my stomach. I never imagined my son, the person who would inherit my families name, the man who I raised from a child to be a man would turn out gay. My son realized I was not ok with it based on my reaction and it upset him even more. He kept insisting for me to say something but I just couldn’t. I left the house and let my wife handle this.

When I returned home my wife acted extremely cold with me and told me that she will not be talking to me until I go to my sons room and apologize. I told her that I am still upset about this situation and will talk to him once I feel better.

I know I shouldn’t have reacted like that, but It was difficult to control my feelings. Now that you guys read everything, do you guys still think I am the asshole here? ######

Response: YTA. Why would it upset you? He can still have a family to pass on your VIP family name on, and he's still a man. You're a homophobe, that's your problem, which makes you TA. ######


Prompt:
(Throwaway account for a friend, I'll answer any questions I can)

Background:
I (21F) am 6 and a half months pregnant with my (22M) partner of 6 years.
We already have a 4 year old together, who was an accident but he is the best thing in my life.
The 3 of us are living in 1 room at my partner's mum's (54) bungalow, and she agreed to adapt her dining room into a bedroom for our son now that he's getting older and needs more space. This should be done in about 3 weeks.

When we found out we were pregnant with our first, my family didn't approve of us keeping the baby because of our age and other circumstances and it strained our relationship quite badly causing a lot of arguments and tension for a while.
We're past that now, they love my son, and they're happy to support us in whatever ways they can.

My partner and I decided to try for another baby whilst our first is still young so he can have a sibling to grow up with, and when I first found out that I was pregnant I didn't want to tell my family because I knew they would have the same reaction as the first time due to our current financial situation. To make sure no one slipped up and let my family know I'm pregnant, we didn't tell anyone else either. I was able to hide it well by wearing baggy clothes and jumpers mostly. It has now got to month 6, and no one has noticed or asked me, so I haven't told anyone.

A very small number of people know that I'm expecting, and have tried to convince me to tell everyone that I'm pregnant before the baby comes, but I don't want to deal with the drama and judgement until I have to.
We also haven't told our son yet, in case he mentions it to his grandad on one of their weekly video chats.

So, AITA for keeping my pregnancy a secret? ######

Response: YTA. Why try for another baby if you cannot financially provide. What’s the outcome you are hoping for here? 3 months time there’s a baby and MIL just has to get over it? ######


Prompt: My daughter (13F) has very long hair, down to the middle of her back. She always wears it down and she doesn't always wash or brush it and it looks very ugly and messy. Seeing as she isn't responsible enough to take care of her own hair properly, I offered to cut it. After all having long hair can take up vitamins and nutrition and she's skinny enough as it is. I kept offering to cut her hair over the course of a month but every time I brought it up she would say that I could only cut up to three inches off which is barely any difference. Eventually after two months she allowed me to cut it to shoulder length but because she kept moving her head so much during the process it caused some length differences and I had to cut it all to just below her ear. I thought it looked good and really suited her but my daughter ended up crying over her new haircut. At lunch I made a casual comment about how she's so sensitive she cried over hair but now she's seems upset. Its not exactly my fault that she ended up with a different hair cut. If she just kept her head still it would have turned out normal but I would like a third opinion on this. ######

Response:
 YTA. Why in hell would you mock your kid’s feelings? What in the hell is wrong with you?

And what is up with your ridiculous “vitamins and nutrition” comment? Did you actually start believing the lies you told your daughter to convince her to cut her hair? Or are you actually that woefully uneducated? ######


Prompt:
My 49-y-o cousin put my 90-y-o aunt up to informing our family that his 23-y-o daughter died from a drug overdose.

Of course, I sent my cousin my unconditional condolences right away without asking any questions.

Then I looked at his FB page.

“John” posted that prior to his daughter’s death, he spent 13 hours in the ER for likely taking the same drug that killed his daughter.  He described it as a grey pill and warned others about it.

Someone commented that this pill was laced with fentanyl.  None of “John’s” FB friends asked “John” any questions.

But I did.  I texted “John” letting him know that I read his FB post.  “John” wrote back to ask me not to tell other family members.  Perplexed, I said that it’s already public and posted on FB.

Then I asked “John” what is the connection between the drug that put him in the ER and the drug he believed killed his daughter.  I asked if they were using together.

John responded, “How dare you accuse me of being responsible for her death.”

I said I wasn’t accusing him of anything; I want to know what happened.

He told me to “shut the fuck up.”

I replied that he should think of his dead mother, grandmother, and now daughter every time he abuses another street drug.

“John” unfriended me on FB and I no longer hear from him.

Only “John” knows what really happened.  John will have to live with himself whether or not he chooses to explain what happened to anyone.

If I am now ex’d out for asking, then I consider myself in good company with the daughter who is no longer with us. ######

Response: YTA. Why exactly do you need this information? ######


Prompt:
My friend draws art in her spare time and frequently does commissions. I asked her if she could draw something for me and she charged the standard price, which I found a bit steep. I asked if she could just count this as doing a favor for a friend and do it for free and she laughed and called me cheap as a joke.

I did feel a bit hurt by it and I ended up paying the price she asked for but I just want to know if it was unreasonable for me to have asked her for a free commission. ######

Response: YTA. Why do you think you're entitled to her time and talent for free? ######


Prompt:
My friend (Lets call him Kenny 17m) posted to his instagram his new computer he built and his caption was "I can't believe I actually was able to build a computer by myself" his computer setup was just meh, it looked like any average modern day setup. Everyone in the comments was congratulating him saying stuff like "Bro thats awesome" or "Hats off to you sir" and other stuff like that but it wasn't that good (some people even reposted it to their own stories), he posted his computer again to his story saying "I'm gonna order more stuff for it", I (17m) replied to his story asking for him to stop posting his computer.
He replied back saying "Why what's the matter" I said "Your computer setup isn't even that hard to build and you're acting like it's a godly setup but it's mediocre at best" he then said "Dude I just wanted to post my computer I worked hard on it". I asked him how long it took him to build it and he said 3 hours (I'm not even joking) I told him that I was able to build my computer in a hour at 12 and my setup was way more complicated than his.

He said "You know you could have just liked the pic and moved on right?" and I told him that I refuse to congratulate mediocrity and that I did this because I was annoyed him and his friends kept posting it ti their stories. Later I got a message from another friend (Lets call him Von) asking why I was gatekeeping and I told him I wasn't gatekeeping because it was true his setup was mediocre and shouldn't be praised, he just responded with "Fuckin gatekeepers" and didn't respond to my other texts. I feel like I'm right and that mediocrity shouldn't be praised but AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Why do you have to be crappy and make people feel bad about things they feel proud of? Why do you need them to feel worse about their accomplishments? Sure it wasn’t the best cpu ever, but he did it on his own. He should be proud of his hard work. Everyone starts somewhere. You should apologize. ######


Prompt:
My son got married last night, no one in the family was happy about it, but it is his life and no one was anything but respectful over it. My wife hates our new DIL. It really was never a major event, but she finds her very annoying and feels like our son has pushed too hard to make us like her. DIL has been rude in the past and I feel like she is just nitpicky and looks for fights.

My wife has issues with controlling herself when it comes to emotion. She was fighting back tears all day and after dinner it was clear to me that she was going to break down crying and therefore we should just leave. I don't think the parents leaving early is particularly egregious. I'm pretty sure my parents left my wedding when the dinner was over, just because they weren't interested in the party part.

My wife went to the bathroom and washed her face off so they couldn't tell she had been crying and we congratulated them and said we were leaving and to have a great night. DIL immediately pointed out that my wife looked upset, which is actually a huge reason i dislike her, because i feel if someone is upset you leave them alone and don't call attention to it. My wife said we were leaving because she didn't feel well, which obviously they didn't believe and DIL kept demanding to know why my wife was upset.

I yelled at my son for not telling his wife to leave his mother alone and i told him that you shouldn't ask questions you don't want an answer to. He knew his mother wasn't happy, and i'm sure he knew she was barely keeping it together for him, but my wife said i shouldn't have yelled at him at his wedding, and she very diplomatically waited until the next morning to tell him that they are both rude. ######

Response: YTA. Why did you two even go if you were just going to cause a scene ? ######