Prompt:
My brother's son is 20, and he lives about 30 minutes drive away from our area. My brother and his wife separated about 3 years ago, and he moved out of the country, while my nephew stayed here with his mother and brother. When the breakup happened, all of our side of the family tried not to take sides, as there was infidelity involved - we didn't want to cut off my brother, but we also didn't want to see them stuck.

We(the extended family) helped them find a new house and gave them some furniture and such to get them restarted. Personally I did a lot of driving back and forth to their area as well, dropping off people and bits to help them. Since then, we haven't really seen much of them, but we bump into them from time to time at family functions.

Last year we were at one such function (i can't remember what it was), and they were all there. Since we'd last seen them, our daughter had been born, and the nephew came out with the observation "Oh, I'd forgotten you guys had a baby". It wasn't anything offensive, but I was a little pissed off that he had forgotten the existence of my daughter - we had been there a lot for them in a tough time, and I don't think it was much to at least expect that.

Fast forward to this week - his birthday had been earlier in the week. Since all the kids in the extended family had gotten over the age of 16, we usually just tended to stick £50 in a card and that was usually the end of it. This year for said nephew, I decided not to send him a card, or indeed wish him a happy birthday. The next day I got a call from his mum asking why I hadn't sent a card - to which I replied "oh I forgot it was his birthday". She knew I was lying, and called me an asshole, saying that he was just a young boy. I retaliated, saying that he is old enough to know that he has a new cousin, and that I was offended that she had been completely forgotten.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. That's just petty.

You send all the kids in the extended family a birthday remembrance, not based on your personal relationship but on the fact that you're related. But for this one, you base his gift on a different criteria. An offhand comment made over a year ago that wasn't even that offensive, considering that you rarely see each other. ######


Prompt: So my mom died when I was 13 and my dad liked to drink and some jerk called CPS. So they took me and put me in a foster home and it was awful,  I just wanted my dad. I had to live their for 6 months and was so depressed I failed my classes and had to make up a year when they finally let me go home, because my dad was actually a good dad . I still get scared when anyone knocks on my door and have nightmares about being taken away in the night , and severe anxiety and stuff. I begged this woman to let me go home to my nice house with a pool and a dad who loved me but she made me stay with these other 3 girls who were horrible and had issues and hated me because they were poor. So anyway I saw her, I am 18 now and she can't do anything.  She was at the grocery store and said hi and I told her " don't say hi to me, especially if you are still ruining kids lives like you ruined mine" I said this loud and everyone stared and she cried. My friend said I should have just ignored her but I think she deserved it. Some of my other friends think so too. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. That lady didn't decide on her own to remove you from your father's home. That's not how CPS works. Sounds like your dad's drinking is a bigger problem than you knew, and you have some anger issues, possibly stemming from your mother's death. I think you need some help dealing with your grief. Seek counseling ASAP. ######


Prompt:
I applied for a job recently but had to attend the interview with a cane because I injured myself when I randomly slipped and fell down a flight of stairs earlier in the summer. Which sucked because I was planning on having the most epic summer ever...

Anyway, I got the job but I suspect it’s because they thought I was actually handicapped, not just injured, and felt pity. They even gave me access to my own private, handicap accessible, bathroom. Which, if I’m being honest, I really enjoy.

I didn’t have the guts to come clean so now I’m just leaning into my new identity as the handicapped guy at the office. It’s kind of cool, I find people are generally nicer to me if they think I’m handicapped. Plus I’d hate to lose my private bathroom.

They even said they’d provide me with a motorized scooter, the kind old people use at the grocery store, to help me get around the office. I’m thinking I could really get used to this. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Taking accommodations meant for people with disabilities and treating them as job perks is pretty gross. ######


Prompt:
I know this sounds bad, but please hear me out.

My son is doing terrible in school. He is barely passing most of the subjects and just failed an important math exam yesterday. I am extremely disappointed in him. The thing is, he studies, I always see him studying in his room and he did follow my rule of playing xbox only 1 hour per day during school days and 2 hours in weekends. The problem is, I am sure he isn’t studying properly. He is constantly looking at the time waiting for it to pass while daydreaming thinking about what he should do in Minecraft today or in whatever other games he plays. This is not ok, and I realized that the only way to stop this is if I no longer allow him to play on his xbox. Since he is most likely failing math and will be doing summer school I decided to donate the xbox to charity. He’s obviously upset about it and he even posted about what I did on Facebook which made me receive tons of criticism from my relatives. I made him take the post down and made him delete all his social media accounts.

&#x200B;

What do you guys think? Do you think I am the asshole for giving him such a harsh punishment even though he always followed the house rules? ######

Response: YTA. Take it away and hide it. And maybe HELP HIM. All I hear is “he isn’t studying right so I’m going to punish him”.  Sit down with him and see what’s he struggling with. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend and I have been together for 10 years. We were both pretty straight edge but over the years I’ve began experimenting more with drugs. She hasn’t. I don’t do anything crazy - weed, shrooms, coke, mdma.

She hates that I do it and was complaining again about it today. She thinks it’s far too dangerous and I’m likely to overdose and die.

I said it’s about as dangerous as her hobby, which is cave diving. She’s been doing it a few years. It’s that scary BS where people swim in underwater caves. She’s spent a lot of money on the gear.

I hate it, I think it’s too risky and I get anxious every time she goes. I think she’s more likely to die than I am.

She keeps bugging me to dive with her and I said fine, if you do mdma with me. She got mad and said it’s different.

AITA? Legalities aside I don’t see a difference in risk or likelihood of death. ######

Response:
 YTA. Stop justifying your dangerous behavior, period. It's making you do [ridiculous stuff ](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ijj88y/tifu_by_sending_porn_to_a_ton_of_people_while_high/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf), for one thing. But the idea that regularly doing coke and E isn't doing 'anything crazy' is completely ludicrous and demonstrates that you are way in over your head and need help.

Cave diving might be risky but it's on an entirely different level than being an addict. ######


Prompt:
My(51f) daughter (25) says she is trans male, which means I guess she uses he/him pronouns in public and uses a different name, but doesn't say anything when I or her father call her by her birth name. Anyway, recently she got top surgery which is when she gets her breasts removed, and her boyfriend (27) has been taking care of her. It's been about 2 months since the last time I saw her in person because of covid, and also because last time we got in a huge argument because I told her she should have talked to her father and I about serious cosmetic surgery like that. We try to talk on the phone and text at least once a week, but lately she's been pretty quiet about her life and won't tell us anything that's going on. My husband and I were over to drop off some food as her boyfriend is taking care of her basically around the clock and neither of them can go anywhere right now. When we got there, we saw our daughter laying on the couch without a shirt and we immediately covered our eyes and I started scolding her about not wearing a shirt when her father and I come over, while she yelled back that she "paid a shit ton of money to not have to wear a shirt" (her exact words). We just dropped the groceries by the front door and walked out, and then texted my daughter about how disrespectful that was and how she should always be wearing a shirt even if she got some stupid surgery. My husband said we should let it go, but if she's not going to wear a shirt when her parents come over, then she might embarrass herself by not wearing a shirt in public and showing off those ugly scars she now has from her cosmetic top surgery.

Tldr:; daughter got top surgery, wouldn't put on a shirt after we came over to drop off groceries ######

Response:
 YTA. Stop deadnaming and misgendering your son and start respecting who he is. No 25 year old needs permission from their parents to make choices about their own body.
If you keep going this way you’re not going to have a relationship with him at all. ######


Prompt:
I’m just so frustrated right now.

My (28M) wife (29F) continues to try to blame the fact that I’m not attracted to her on ME factors. Maybe it’s MY work, or MY family, MY weight.

Now it is MY hormone levels.

So my wife gave birth to our twins a year ago and since then I haven’t been attracted to her.

She’s had huge stretch marks and is still about 70 pounds overweight. Her personal hygiene is also very low.

I’ve been trying to give subtle clues. Like let’s get a healthy meal subscription or let’s walk around the trails after dinner. Or I’d talk about what perfumes she would like to wear.

However today she asked if next time I went to the doctor I’d get a testosterone. I looked at her in disbelief. Then she said that there could be a medical reason for my lack of attraction and kept pushing it.

I couldn’t take it and started laughing and putting my head in my hands and shaking it.

My wife got extremely pissed and said that you didn’t have to be 60 to be erectile dysfunction.

I finally snapped and said that I DID get hard in the right circumstances ( and it’s true- every time I go back to the college campus where I do research, I have felt intense attraction for a lot of the women there.)

Now she’s saying I’ve devastated her beyond belief and that her body will never be the same.

AITA? I can’t help how disgusted I am about stretch marks and I can’t help that my previously dead sense of attraction goes all the way to 100 when I see women where I work and I hate my wife for denying that I’m not the problem at all. ######

Response:
 YTA. Stop comparing your wife, whose body went through pregnancy and birth of TWINS, to young college students who make you horny.

It might not be a medical issue, but yes you are the problem in this equation. ######


Prompt: My mil came over the other day to see my kids and we were going to go to the park. She had a legit hickey on her neck, like the kind high schoolers have. I asked her about it and she said she mentioned to her fiancé how trashy they are so he held her down and fucking did that. I told her that that kind of makes him an ass and she rolled her eyes and said they were playing and she doesn’t take advice from someone who has been in marriage counseling as long as they’ve been married. It was pretty humid so I get why she didn’t want to cover it with clothes but I asked her to put makeup on it. She had makeup on her face so I don’t get why she didn’t automatically put some on her neck. She seemed really annoyed but put some of mine on. My husband came home furious because he said I was rude and that I’m advertising our lack of a sex life to her. ######

Response:
 YTA. Stop being a prude.

Oh no, consenting adults like to do things to eachother!

Power to your MIL. ######


Prompt:
Some our friends invited us to this little cozy spot where they have karaoke or you can just sing some songs you wrote.

My wife used to be a singer when she was younger and when they asked if anyone from the crowd wanted to come up to the stage to sing, our table went crazy. Especially me. I heard my wife sing in the shower and the car and I knew she was going to blow the place away.

We finally got her on the stage and sang a song I didn't recognize, but it was beautiful and she had so much emotion behind it. About missing an ex.

One of the guys who knew my wife longer than I had saw I was getting upset and leaned forward, "It was just an ex from high school. He was piece of crap, it doesn't mean anything." I excused myself from the table and I left.

When my wife got home later, she was upset because I had left without her, and our friends had to drive her home. I asked her why she had sang a song about her ex.

She said that she sang a song about me right after, and if I stayed around I would have heard it.

I said, "Yeah, but why would sing about your ex *first* and you were nearly crying like you still missed him or something."

She said she was going to bed. I called some of our friends and they confirmed that she did a sing a song about me after, but that still doesn't explain why she was singing a song about her ex first and nearly in tears.

Edit: Thank you u/CraptacularAdventure and u/Incognitoacon - you really helped put things in perspective for me. I'm going to apologize to her as soon as she gets home. ######

Response:
 YTA. Speaking as a singer, I would be so hurt if my partner walked out during a performance.

One of the things we're trained to do is to act in order to sell a song.   We are entertainers and we know that a sad song about an old boyfriend will draw the audience in much more than a happy song about their current partner. So get over your jealous self and realize what a gift you have in your wife. She wrote a song about you and it was a happy one. Do you really want to be the source/inspiration for a tearjerker? ######


Prompt:
I’m a bisexual woman. Last night, I was at my brother’s house for dinner along with our parents. I admit I have a bit of a crush on my brother’s wife. She’s easily in my ‘Top 3 prettiest women I know’ list.
During the dinner, I was casually flirting with her. Nothing over the top. She didn’t seem to mind .

After we got back, my brother sent this message asking me to stop making his wife uncomfortable. I told him that he was being dense and some casual flirting is normal. There was a point when a lot of water had spilled over SIL’s dress, and I’d casually remarked if I could help her change. My brother brought this up saying that it made SIL very uncomfortable and she couldn’t say anything then because my parents were present. I told him that it’s probably his insecurities making him overreact and not to worry cause SIL was straight. He told me they were cutting me off until I apologised and promised never to bother SIL again.

Well, I’m not apologising . SIL should’ve told me she was uncomfortable, I would’ve stopped. I think that my brother’s being over dramatic.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Speaking as a bisexual woman myself, I'm saying you should be even MORE aware of how often women feel unable to speak up when they're uncomfortable with flirting. You crossed lines, even if you didn't intend you, and you owe her an apology. ######


Prompt: Me (25M) and my (27F)girlfriend got into a heated debate about my (24F) roomate. Its not what it sounds like, my gf and roomate are very good friends. Ok, so my roomate is very filthy and I find myself doing most of the cleaning around our home. Even my girlfriend cleans up after her. My roomate will cook and leave everything out, even the food expecting I will clean it. My girlfriend also brought to my attention that my roomate expects me to do things, like feed her dog. My roomate will start watching tv on the couch, and then call me to fetch her a soda. I also have to drive my roomate to work, and I do shop for her. I find myself so frustrated and I do complain to my gf. Anyways, so my girlfriend asked me to come over and eat but my roomate and an old friend were doing LSD, I felt like I should stay and watch out for my roomate. My gf was livid, because she thinks 1. I am a pushover she said that my roomate would never do that for me (kinda true) and then she said I had to be lying, because my roomate wont even smoke or drink with us, but suddenly does LSD? She also just thought it was stupid for me to "babysit" an adult who chose to do that. I just feel like my roomate is very naive, and will hurt herself or her dog will get out while shes high. My girlfriend said it wasnt about not coming for dinner, it was about constantly enabling my roomate. Could she be jealous? ######

Response: YTA. Sounds like you’re a better boyfriend to your roommate than your actual girlfriend. ######


Prompt:
While my girlfriend was out of town, one of our cats peed in a laundry basket of her clothes. There was a lot of pee. It was really gross.

She is upset, however, because I did it without asking first, although she was hard to reach where she was. She says she would have washed them and not thrown them out. There were a few items that she liked that were noticeably gone, and she would have salvaged them. There may be others but we’re not sure what was in there.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Sounds like you were just too lazy to wash them or even contact her to ask what to do with them. ######


Prompt:
So in our drama class, we decided to host a play. The play goes around the central theme of twins being mistaken for each other and deciding on taking advantage of that. The entire play is based on the fact that the twins are identical.

We decided on doing this play because my best friend has an identical twin, and they both are in drama.  However, we still had to hold an audition for fairness and for the other roles, and I was the casting director.

My best friend (lets call her twin 1) auditioned for the role of twin 1 and got it, but when it came to the role of twin 2, another girl came to audition. It was her and twin 1's twin, and I decided to give the role to the twin for obvious reasons (it is necessary for the twins to be identical).

Non-twin filed a complaint to the school and the drama council that I was racist (my friend was white and so was her twin, while non-twin was black) and I had to explain that while she did a great job, but to be in the play you have to look similar to the twin and be fitted to the character. She said that I was racist and that her skin color should not limit her roles.

Anyway, I was cut off from my drama club, and I am shunned by my entire school. There are people who don't think I am racist, but they are too afraid to say so. I saw the practice of the play, and I HATE how people are pretending the story makes sense, but since they look so different, it absolutely looks crazy. Imagine the whole point of the story being that A and B look alike, but A is a 5'7 white girl and B is a 5'2 black girl. I think people are crazy for pretending they look identical, and that "they do not see a difference". Maybe I am racist for not letting a girl get the role for how she looked/the color of her skin, but I know if she was white I would not have given her the role and nobody would call me racist.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 YTA. Sorry, but you already had a casting in mind and you wanted to rubber stamp it with a fake "fair" casting. You failed as a leader of the casting process at this point.

You did not specify that the two roles had to be filled by identical twins, so everyone should be able to participate and be cast and you did not hold a fair casting.

This is not Hollywood, this is a school play. I bet this role has been played by countless non identical twins and even non related people in school plays of  the past. ######


Prompt:
My wife is admittedly a gold digger and a damn good one. She always dated men who could take care of her and when I met her she was definitely looking for a husband to keep that up. I don’t care and I don’t think it means we never fell in love but she knew what she wanted.

Most of the women in my circle don’t like her for obvious reasons but it’s been thirteen years and two children. I rarely use social media but she was showing me something on her Instagram the other day and I noticed that her bio said “mom, part time artist, full time gold digger” I told her that’s kind of embarrassing when I’m a respected professional and I already get enough shit for marrying her. She said I’m being prudish and stifling her. ######

Response: YTA. Sorry, but that's fucking hilarious. She's trolling the people who talk shit about her. I doubt your reasons for marrying her were any less shallow and mercenary than hers; at least she's not ashamed of who she is and what she wants. She can write whatever she wants on her instagram. ######


Prompt:
I generally have a good relationship with my 19yo son. He was an only child until he was 9 when I remarried and my wife and I had another son. My son gets along very well with my 10yo son (his half-brother) and my wife (his step-mother).

My oldest was very mellow, almost meek as a kid. There were only a few times that I can recall where my eldest did something wild and crazy. My 10yo has a wild streak to him that has only gotten worse. A lot of it has to do with his attitude and disrespect. He just wants to do what he wants to do and doesn't want to do what he doesn't want to do. It's unfortunate because he the kid that you want your kids to be around because he's so much fun.

A couple of nights ago, I heard some rumbling in our yard and backdoor at 1AM in the morning. It scared the shit out of my wife and I. I thought it was a home invasion. It wasn't. It my was 10yo son. I asked him what the fuck was he doing outside at 1AM in the morning. He gave some lie about a noise that he wanted to check out (he's still scared of the dark and has a nightlight). As it turns out, his friend dared him to come to his window late at night and my son took him up on that dare. His friend lives down the street. I shudder when I think about all the horrible things that could have happened to a 10yo walking down the street at 1AM in the morning.

As a punishment, I grounded him for two weeks and his electronics for a month. I also chewed him out. My son came home the following day and my son made a beeline to him crying. Later my eldest son told me I was fucked up for giving such a harsh punishment after my 10yo told him what happened. My eldest said I should reconsider and even apologize to my 10yo. I told my eldest that how I disciplined my kid is none of his business. My eldest said is was kinda his business because I was  going overboard. I replied that I wasn't having this conversation and he can leave if he doesn't like it. ######

Response: YTA. Someone living under the same roof as you had some valuable input you disagree with. Instead of gently ending the conversation, you went full-on nuclear "you can move out". That is, for a variety of reasons, a very bad idea. ######


Prompt:
My ex-husband came out as gay while I was pregnant. He has since moved across the country and decided being a parent was too much of a burden for his "new life" so I have sole custody. I'm now a single mother to an almost toddler.

I tried to "get back out there" with online dating when my baby was 6 months old. I'm not yet 30 and I pretty much had my old body back by then, so I thought it wouldn't be super hard to get "matches". I made a profile with some of my pre-baby hobbies and some recent pictures on it. What I left out was anything to do with motherhood or having a baby. I didn't mention anything about kids at all.

Maybe I come from a different time, but I was raised with the idea that you shouldn't be posting about your kids on the internet because you never know who might see it. I relaxed enough to post about the baby on my personal Facebook, but only holiday family pictures and sanitized things. Not anything that is overly personal or would be a problem. However, a dating website that is specifically for adult purposes and is a completely anonymous public forum? Absolutely not.

Of course I wouldn't introduce my child to any partner until I knew it was serious, but I feel like the person I date doesn't even need to know they exist until we've had a first and second date. Talking online is nothing, and tons of first dates don't work out. I don't need to attract people who are just going to think "lonely single mom" or make it easier for people to investigate and doxx me.

I put everything on pause, but am just now starting it up again. I've shown the profile to some friends and family, and they're appalled that I am "denying" having a baby. They say I need to be upfront about it so that people know that I have other responsibilities for when I "need to flake". They also say that I'm risking wasting my time with childfree men, or wasting their time. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Some people don’t want kids and if they’re interested in you you’re building their hopes up and then dashing them when you mention you have a child. You don’t need to put a photo up but just a sentence to say you’re a single mother is ok. I’m dating out there at the moment and I personally don’t want to get to know someone who already has kids - my personal preference. And I know it’s hard when you start getting attached to someone and then you find out they have kids when that is a non negotiable for me. But there are others out there who wouldn’t mind. So you’ll find someone who doesn’t mind. ######


Prompt:
A bit of a background story : my son (let's call him isaac ) and I along with his father and siblings moved to this new country 2 years ago where we dont have any friends  , however , my side of the family lives near to my house and my husband's side of family lives in the same country but in a different city (90 km away)  ,isaac  had always been the quiet kind of guy , he is not shy in particular but still queit  , he made friends here and hang out with them but not very much , his friends invite him but he sometimes cancels without a real excuse in my opinion.

    The quarantine had been lifted month ago ,My husband and I enjoy going to my mum's (let's call his grandma emma ) house and we like to get isaac and his siblings engaged so we get them to go with us so they could enjoy time with their cousins , isaac always complain about this "obsession" and says that ,  if we get bored that easily then we should try to try an other parts of the city instead of going to the same place (Emma's house) over and over .

    however I dont feel the need to do that because I find Emma's house entertaining enough for me and isaac so I always try to  get  isaac to go with me when he has nothing else to do because I want to break his shell and I dont want him to be "introverted" .

  One Week ago , our family just returned from my husband's side of family and thought it would be a good idea to go to emma's house , issac was furious and said that we are obsessed and need to be a bit more independent , I told emma about this , and now she teases him about his complaining not to go to her house whenever she sees him , now he got even more stubborn and started hanging out with his friends like crazy so he can stop going to his grandma .

      When I comforted him about it , he told me that's  what I get for using passive aggressive behaviour and telling Emma .

Am I the asshole ? ######

Response: YTA. Some people are introverted and don’t want to hang out with others constantly. Your choice to tell Emma was also unfair and violated what trust your son had in you. ######


Prompt:
My friend (we’ll call her Irene) is 21, and had her daughter very young, she’s only 6 months.

Recently her and 2 of our friends were talking about having a weekend together, and Irene’s boyfriend would have their daughter. One of the girls in our “group” said we should all trip since we’ll have the night we get together and then another day to relax from the “hangover”.  Irene said it sounds fun and she’s excited for our weekend together, but I told her it wasn’t a good idea.

I asked what if something happened to her daughter while she was gone, or needed to leave immediately. She said her boyfriend can handle their daughter and if she absolutely needs to leave she’ll take an Uber. I told her she’s ridiculous and is an irresponsible parent if she’s that persistent on doing drugs when she has a daughter at home, and she can trip sit if she’d like, if we even decide to do it. Irene got a bit upset and said she just wanted to have fun with us, and the last time she did anything of that sort was around 2 years ago, and she’s allowed to have fun even though she has a child. I responded with just “irresponsible parent” and she left the group chat.

My other 2 friends flipped out on me and said I should’ve just kept my mouth shut, and that Irene knows how to take care of her daughter, and Irene would never do anything that would put her daughter in danger. I told them she is being irresponsible, and they proceeded to leave the group chat. They all think I’ve ruined our weekend plans together, especially after not seeing each other for months.

TLDR; my friend Irene who is 21 wants to do acid with 2 or our friends and I. She has a daughter, and I told her she’d be irresponsible to trip with us, but she’s welcome to be a trip sitter and still hang out. Her and our friends are mad at me, and said I ruined our weekend plans and should’ve kept my mouth shut. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. So, you’re young enough to think doing acid is a great idea, but old enough to judge Irene for doing the exact thing you want to do. Interesting logic. Everyone seems to have shades of asshole here, but you for being a hypocrite, mostly. ######


Prompt:
So I have a habit of calling out to people on bike/walking paths "passing left" and/or "plingeling" (the sound of a bike bell) when coming up from behind before passing whilst exercising, running or biking. This can be used together with a real bike bell but I've found that calling out is more noticeable. Here I have to admit that I when passing people that wear headphones and that take up the majority of the path without moving, since they don't hear me, can get an extra call just when passing just to scare them and make them aware that they need to share the path. I know this is somewhat of a bitch move but I'm just so fed up with people taking up unnecessary space just because they're selfish or inconsiderate.

This time I was moving up on a teenager from behind getting ready to pass him. He was biking in the middle of the bike lane, leaving precious little space on either side. I was going for a left side pass since we have right hand traffic here. He was wearing headphones and not holding on to the handlebars of his bike. I called out. No response. So when passing, quite close due to the space issue, I called out again and spooked him. This resulted in him twitching, our handlebars locking and him falling of his bike into the road. No cars came just then luckily so no real harm done. The discussion after went something like this:

\-"Are you ok?"

\-"Yeah..."

\-"You shouldn't wear headphones if it means you can't hear the traffic when biking."

\-"Why'd you scare me so I fell?"

\-" I tried calling out before but you didn't hear me."

\-"But I couldn't hear you because I was wearing headphones!"

\-"Exactly..."

So AITA for scaring people when passing because they're wearing headphones? ######

Response:
 YTA. So, you also run over jaywalkers right? Because it’s their fault, for not being safe? And if you see someone not wearing a seatbelt, you jump in front of their car to make them brake and realize their stupidity, right? If someone is going downstairs without holding onto the railing, you push them to remind them to do it?

Do you realize how fucking dangerous your behavior is? What is wrong with you? Like really what the actual fuck. You are so, so lucky nobody got hurt!!

Safety first, safety first, safety first. Yes, even when other people are in your way. It d o e s  n o t matter that you find it annoying.

I cycle too and there is no excuse for what you did. If someone doesn’t hear you ringing your bell, you ring again or call out again, and you wait until they are safely aware of your existence. Most people even with headphones will hear it. If you want, you can buy a little bike horn so you can warn from afar, they are usually a bit louder than bells.
If there is enough room, you can start coming on their side not too fast and wait for them to notice. And even that is risky. You do NOT startle people.

Nobody on the road is going to be safe 100% of the time. It is part of the deal. Creating dangerous situations to enforce the rules is fucking stupid. ######


Prompt:
I don’t know if this is a regular occurrence, but I went into the kitchen last night about an hour after I told my girlfriend I was going to bed. She always pumps before bed so I assumed that was what she was doing.

When I walked into the kitchen she was sitting at the table and she picked up the bottle she pumps into and took a sip. I said “what the hell” and she turned around and got super red in the face. I asked what she was doing and she said “I just took a sip I wanted to try it”. I said “you’re disgusting” and she started crying. I went back in the bedroom and she never came to bed until this morning she came in the room when our daughter started crying.

I asked why she never came to bed, and she said I made her feel embarrassed. I told her nobody was around, and I apologized if I upset her, but it was still gross. She made a comment about how drinking her own breast milk is less gross than drinking cows milk, but I said I disagree. Now she’s both upset and irritated with me. ######

Response:
 YTA. So you never licked your own blood off of a cut before? Never licked a vagina? Never got aroused from the sight of a woman swallowing? Never *kissed* someone-- cause newsflash, your saliva is 10x more disgusting (and 50x more dangerous) than her milk. Never chewed your nails, one of the most *dirtiest* parts of your body? Never licked tears/sweat off your own lips? Never stuck your finger into your mouth to dislodge that piece of food that's been sitting in your teeth for the past hour and swallow it down?

dude, the casual things you do on a everyday basis is 10x worse than silly little breast milk. (but breast milk is not disgusting, you had a knee jerk reaction and chose to be super stubborn and mean about it)

edit: thanks for the silver! ######


Prompt:
Context: I go to uni and draw as a hobby and as a way to get some money. I did various drawing lessons when I was younger and Im a very qualified and talented artist.

So my aunt(42f), uncle(40sm) and my cousin(6m) are staying at my house(parents house), and today my cousin put his filthy kid hands at the sketch of a drawing I was going to produce. I screamed at him many times and he started to cry, both my parents and his parents got mad at me and they said it was just a drawing and it doenst justify to scream at a kid, but danm, he is 6, not a fucking toddler, he is aware of his actions and if his parents dont teach him manners I will. After that shit I took some food and water and locked myself at my room so this little devil doenst touch my drawings again. Am I the asshole? It just doenst make sense that my parents got mad at me, I mean, I understand why his parents got angry since they are helicopter/overprotective parents, but not my parents. ######

Response:
 YTA. So you jumped right to screaming at a small child who merely touched something?

>filthy kid hands

>if his parents don’t teach him manners, I will

>locked myself in my room afterwards

You sound like the child here and I bet the consensus will be pretty unanimous.

Edit: I see from your comment history that you have overwhelmingly bad judgement ######


Prompt:
After my son married his husband, I always assumed I would never have grandchildren ( I only have him and his sister, who’s husband is sadly infertile ). However they recently told our family that they are thinking about raising a kid.

Of course I’m extremely exited about this, so he has been keeping me updated on what their plans are. They decided that whatever they do they will do it after this whole pandemic ends. And they are still trying to decide if they will try with a surrogate or just adopting.

I know that ultimately it’s their choice but I thought that I could still voice my opinion on the matter. I believe that a surrogate would be better because then it would actually be their biological children, and although I would still love the kid if he was adopted it simply isn’t the same. However he said that one of the problems with a surrogate is that they would have to choose who would donate the sperm, and so it would be “unfair” for one of them. And although I understand this I still thing is not that big of a deal, and that I would like my grandkid to look like my son.

And here’s where the problem came, my son’s husband happens to be Asian. So my son got really defensive when I said that, and he even asked me if I would dislike his kid if he was Asian. And look, I would definitely love the kid regardless of race, but just like any parent ( or in this case grandparent ) I would like the kid to look like our family. But he didn’t see it like that, and immediately called me racist.

Since then he has been really cold to me and doesn’t even mention the topic. Did I say something wrong? Because I just stated my opinion and then I got called racist and now my own son doesn’t want to talk to me. ######

Response: YTA. So when your son pointed out that it’s unfair for them to choose which one of them the kid would be biologically related to, it’s not that big of a deal. But when they’re talking about literally any other option, it’s a big deal and you want your grandkids to be biologically related to your son? You should probably just mind your business ######


Prompt: I'll make this short. My boyfriend is allergic to pineapple, not deathly but it is very unpleasant for him. Whenever we have a moment of frustration, I will eat something pineapple related as a joke and he'll get pouty for a moment. Afterwards I'll obviously go brush my teeth, wash my hands, and apologize/talk out the argument we were having previously because I usually use the pineapple thing as a way to step back from the issue at hand since I tend to become heavily stressed when it comes to a possible big problem. Lately I realized that when I eat pineapple he'll get visibly upset and ask if something is wrong or if I'm upset with him. It obviously bothers me that he's getting upset over something as small as eating pineapple but I feel as if I am "conditioning" him of that because of my jokes. Am I overthinking? ######

Response: YTa. So when you’re angry, you eat something your partner is allergic to rather than having an adult conversation and you wonder if you’re an asshole? Is this really a question you don’t know the answer to? ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend is turning 21 on the 25th.

She and her mom have had their problems, but she said she always comes around for her birthday and they apparently have an unspoken agreement that they don’t fight on each other’s birthdays.

I (36), had already planned a birthday dinner for my girlfriend to be held at my dad and stepmother’s summer home in the Hamptons.

The problem is, my dad and stepmother invited, with my girlfriend’s permission a lot of people from their social circle who are highly educated, successful, and expect this party to be a classy affair.

Meanwhile, my girlfriend’s mom has battled on and off with alcohol issues and has run herself into debt due to said issues.

She also works as a housekeeper and tends to be ignorant on topics of conversation other people we socialize with are educated about.

I feel such a milestone birthday should be as tension free as possible, and inviting an estranged mother who would probably make other guests uncomfortable is the antithesis of that.

So I call her and bring up the fact that she mentioned she had $12,000 worth of debt she couldn’t pay off.

I offer to fork over the cash on the condition she tells her daughter that she can’t come to her birthday party this year.

Her mother refuses and ends up telling my girlfriend straight after. My girlfriend starts crying and saying she’s so angry at me.

She then hits below the belt and says she was already scared she was becoming too old for me and I was making it worse. Which was totally unwarranted because I’ve dated people much older than her and I feel she’s  just imposing a stereotype on otherwise good relationship.

AITA? Now she doesn’t even want to celebrate her birthday and has been alternating between a lot of affection and a lot of anger towards me.

But I just wanted to protect her and make her birthday drama free. ######

Response: YTA. So many red flags here. You sound like a controlling elitist who thinks they can just throw money at any problem. Also, your girlfriend is celebrating her 21st birthday and you want to whisk her away to the Hamptons to spend it with a bunch of old people that she does not know? That says so much about your relationship. It honestly sounds like you're grooming this young woman and she's  worried about keeping up with you. If your girlfriend had written this, I'd tell her to run as fast as she can away from you. You sound terrible and gross. ######


Prompt:
A little context. I (M34) have always had a very sensitive sense of smell especially to unpleasant odors. They really bother me. I think I might be a super-smeller or something.

 Anyways, this causes issues when my GF (F25) is having her special tie of the month. I understand that it is something that girls have to do but when she does it it leaves a bothersome odor in the bathroom that bothers me. It isn't that she doesn't keep herself clean. I never have to see anything gross or anything. But I can still smell it.

I tried talking to her about it nicely but she just got all upset and defensive about it even though I tried to say it as gently as I could, maybe because it was her special time of the month. She said that she can’t even smell anything but I can and it really grosses me out.

Later when finally calmed herself down I offered a very reasonable compromise. I asked if she could use the bathroom in the pool house during her special time. It wouldn’t really be that inconvenient for her. It is just outside across a small lawn, only about 20 feet away once you get outside. She got all mad again and said that if I didn’t like it I could use the pool house bathroom but I told her that that didn’t seem fair since I wasn’t the one stinking up the bathroom. Why should I be the one who has to go outside all the time?

She is still mad at me but i think she is being unfair. She doesn’t understand how much the smell bothers me. Some of our friends say that I am the AH though so now I’m not sure.

What do you thing reddit? ######

Response: YTA. So I guess your shit doesn't stink. Are your seriously over 30? Grow the fuck up dude. ######


Prompt: I 20(f) have decided to live child free. I used to be really Close I’m older sister but once she had kids I cut back on the time we spent together. At one point I made it truly clear I can’t be around kids at all. My sisters husband is rich like really rich. So because of the pandemic he decided to rent a yacht for two weeks. Now the whole family is going  he’s even allowing so family to bring a friend or two. So I call my sister to see what weeks it is so I can make sure I off for those days. My sister told me that she didn’t invite me because she was sure I would decline like all the other times. I been invited to theme parks but didn’t go because of the kids. I called my mom and dad and they both sided with my sister. The only people on my side is my friends. So am I aita for regretting telling my sister I can’t be around her kids? ######

Response: YTA. So basically when it’s a two week getaway on a yacht suddenly you’re ok hanging out with your nieces/nephews otherwise you can’t be bothered? You’re a selfish asshole. ######


Prompt:
(Throwaway for obvious reasons.)

For some context, I (45M) have been dating this guy (42M) for around 4 years. We’ve had some pretty bad dips in our relationship, but I love him the same. He has three kids from his past marriage, two girls (16 and 12) and one boy (8M).

I have my own daughter (13). She has been diagnosed with ‘’’severe” misophonia’’’ by her therapist. I personally think she’s being way too oversensitive, and I don’t trust the therapist’s judgement very well. My daughter frequently complains about various noises such as white noise or eating sounds, which is quite disruptive. I tell her to stop, but she claims she can’t help it.

Anyway, the other day we were eating all together and her stepbrother was chewing with his mouth open. I have to admit, it was somwwhat obnoxious. But it is not my kid.

Then my daughter tells him to “Shut [his] mouth when eating for once.” Her stepbrother tears up and I tell her to stop being rude or I will restrict her phone again. She goes quiet and continues to eat as my husband scolds her for making his son feel bad.

After dinner she goes up to her room and doesn’t come out until it’s time for her to go to bed.

I personally don’t think IATA. She often overreacts and this is not the first time that she acts all down just because she got the scolding she needed.

So, Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: YTA. She’s diagnosed with a real disorder and you refuse to believe it and tell her she’s being too sensitive? What kind of shit parent does this? And why can’t you tell your stepson to chew with his mouth closed but your husband can scold your daughter? This poor kid. ######


Prompt:
She is upset with me for refusing to change my running pace now that she can't safely match it anymore.

I feel for her because I know it has to be hard to go through all of the bodily changes and give up something like this which has been a part of our relationship since we started dating nine years ago,  but...I am not sure what good is accomplished by me changing my pace.

It is hard to regain your fitness and form when you drastically cut back. I am not sure if her aim is to have us both get back in shape together, but that is a terrible idea.

I have offered her a compromise of walking a mile or two with her after I finish my run, but she refuses because she says by this time I am too tired to do a power walk with her. I also suggested that she find another expectant mom to walk with or one of her friends, but she was not too keen on that idea either.

I really think it is more about her not being able to run than spending time with me or walking to stay active.

I told her I would not change my pace because it served no purpose and I had offered her a reasonable compromise, but do you think I am being the @$$h013? ######

Response: YTA. She's growing your kid dude. In a pandemic. The least you can do is move at her pace. Run at your speed at a different time. ######


Prompt:
I know that there are studies which say that it's good for bonding to hear the father's voice, but it makes me uncomfortable and feel silly. I am doing my best to prep for fatherhood, and I think that should count for something and she should cut me some slack here.

My wife is upset because she thinks I am not bonding with our son, but I haven't read anything which says that either of these things are critical. She denies that she is taking it personally, but she seems hurt even though I constantly explain to her that it doesn't have anything to do with dissatisfaction on my end or any resentments.

I know she feels like she is losing out on some Hallmark moments like some of her friends have gotten, but this isn't me or my sort of thing and I wish she would respect that. It's easy for her to say i should just do it, but it's not that easy from my perspective.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. She's carrying your child. It takes zero effort to be silly for ten seconds and talk to her belly.

You are going to have A LOT of uncomfortable moments as a parent; I'd recommend getting used to that now because if you can't do something as simple as this you're going to have a tough time later on. ######


Prompt:
My family and I belong to a small gym with a 6 lane, pool often times since it is shallow there is no lifeguard on duty and when there are most of them are chill. So my wife and 3 kids, 5m, 11f, and 9m all went to the pool, half of the pool was closed due to a class and the  lane on our left was being used by a guy swimming lap, and the one on our right was being used for a swim lesson,  so my family and I had 1 lane to use, there was also an outdoor pool open that no one was using because it was chilly out.

Well I brought 2 balls to play catch with since it isnt against  rules. My oldest 2 kids occasionally got it in the other lanes and even by where the class was happening but no complaints, I even made sure to ask the lady teaching the lesson, the guy working out and the lady in the class the ball almost hit if they where ok with us playing catch and they said sure. So I dont think I was doing anything wrong. Well the lifeguard approached my 2 oldest and asked if they could do short passes and keep the ball n the lane, I overheard and told my kids they dont have to since others arnt bothered by it so they didnt. Well she approached us again after my son almost accidentally hit someone with the ball lightly. I told her they said it was ok and she said that she some people say that and then complain later and not everyone who comes in is ok with that. I kinda went off on her a little bit telling her to get her manger and theyll take my side and that she was being an overeactive  bully, Ill admit I said it rather sternly, but I wasnt  bothering anyone and was following the rules. I later saw her mangers yelling at her and she looked like she's been crying. I feel bad even though I think she needed to learn her lesson.

&#x200B;

TLDR: I yelled at a lifeguard for telling me to stop doing things that are not against the rule. ######

Response: YTA. She wasn't power tripping at all, she was doing her job. There's a good chance you may have just cost the woman her job with this, since some places don't give you a chance. It doesn't matter if the lady said she didn't mind them playing catch, it's what the actual owners think of the matter. ######


Prompt:
I am French and my wife is British. Our daughter was born in France and has a French passport only.  At least for the moment.  At home we speak English so my kid's French skill is very poor (shame on me for not speaking French more).  She is starting school in France now.

So we're filling up forms for her school and my wife writes French/English against "Nationality".  So I said, that the kid is only French and we should correct that.

My wife says that it will help if someone reads the form, to know that the kid speaks English.

To which I replied that nationality is different from language.  We should put French only.

Apparently I had a smirk on when I said that.  I didn't even notice.  She blew up though "why you smirking at me? You're so arrogant. Stop doing that!"

Taken aback, I tried to explain again that nationality and languages are different, and that they'll find out soon enough for themselves if the kid struggles in French.

My wife was furious with me.  I am confused and ashamed to have smirked even though I didn't mean to. ######

Response:
 YTA. She was right and you knew what she meant. Also, from what you’ve written, your kid is a  dual French and British national even if she doesn’t have the passport yet.

And, jeez, speak French to your kid! Why on earth would you blow this opportunity to teach her to be bilingual?! ######


Prompt:
I (29m) live with my girlfriend (26f). She is a wonderful cook and amazing at baking, but she doesn’t do it very often because she thinks it’s too much effort to do it just for herself. She generally eats 4 times a day.
Breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea and then dinner.

Her country was a British colony and afternoon tea and an overall obsession with drinking tea just became ingrained into her culture over the course of their colonisation.

For reference, here’s how her meal plan is. Breakfast at 8am, lunch at 12pm, afternoon tea at 4pm, and dinner at 9pm. The quantities she eats are quite small, which is I guess why she can eat frequently. I just eat breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Now due to COVID, we’re working from home and she has a lot more free time. Her family comes over 3-4 times a week in the afternoon for tea and she’s been consistently baking for them.

I’ve been thoroughly enjoying her food, and joining them in eating when they come by but it + staying at home all day have made me put on a few pounds. I’ve been working on shedding it, but her baking makes it difficult for me to control. I’ve asked her if she could stop baking, and cut down to 3 meals a day, or just buy normal things from the store so I wouldn’t be as tempted.

She’s refused, and we got in a fight over it. I don’t think there’s an issue with her stopping baking, or at least doing it less frequently to help me lose weight. ######

Response: YTA. She shouldn’t have to stop doing something she enjoys (baking and having afternoon tea) just because you have no self-control. No one is forcing you to participate. You’re an adult. Time to grow the hell up and start taking responsibility for your own choices. ######


Prompt:
My GF has asked for space after our recurrent arguments and stated her family was angry w/me for some of what I said.  But we have continued to text and call throughout said space.  So yesterday I figured I'd go to her house (while she was not there) to visit them and just to blunt the blow of their anger toward me.  No family member made any comments and it was seemingly going all right, then my GF came back from work and asked me on the side "what are you doing here?".  I replied with "visiting".  Two hours later my GF says we need to talk so we go outside and immediately begin to argue.  She says I disrespected her need for space and came to her house uninvited and she wondered what my true goal was.  I responded by saying the last time her family was mad at me they chewed me out for not coming by for a couple weeks so I did not want to repeat that, and said regardless of her and my issues, they're still family and I wanted to just simply visit to see how they are.

Edit 1:  It's clear I made the wrong move and am the AH.  I'll follow through with her need for space as I should have the first time.  Thank you all. ######

Response: YTA. She said she needed space and you mutually agreed to spend a little bit of time apart. You should have honored that by not coming around where you KNOW she lives and would likely be. ######


Prompt: I really don't like my boyfriend's mom. She's very bitchy and holier than thou. She has a three year old daughter who accidentally broke my phone when she knocked it into her pool. It was an iphone7 and I paid about $700 it, so she said she would give me $1,000 to replace it. I thought that was fair. She asked me if I had venmo and I said no. She asked if I could cash a check and I said no, because I don't know how to. She asked me to download venmo but I said she doesn't get to dictate that. Finally I asked for the money in cash and that day. She called me a dumbfuck and said no one has $1,000 in cash on them, but this woman drives a BMW so I don't get what her issue is. She refused to go to the bank, so right now she is sitting on her lazy ass and I don't have my $1,000, but my boyfriend thinks I'm being ridiculous because she tried to pay. ######

Response:
 YTA. She offered a couple of reasonable ways to pay you back, but you refused to do either of those. She can’t force you to accept a check, but in the same vein, you can’t force her to drive to the bank and take out $1000 that day. If you want to wait for cash, you’re going to have to accept that it might take a while for her to go to the bank.

Also, you really need to learn how to cash checks, because nobody is going to go out of their way to get you money out of their bank simply because you refuse to learn a basic life skill. ######


Prompt:
I(25M) have an older brother who I'll call bro (30M) who is father to his daughter, G(5F). Recently, he had found out that his Fiancé(31F) had unprotected intercourse with someone else (open relationship) and that G might not be his. Bro is emotionally attached to this child, as a father would be, so even if G wasn't his he would still consider G his daughter.

Well, last week the test came in and unfortunately G is not biologically his. Bro was true to his word and and treated G as his own, and props to him for doing that. He stayed with Fiancé. I, however, don't want any further relationship with G. You see, I am planning on paying for G's college as I was well off, so I would also be leaving Bro and Fiancé to their own devices.

After hearing this, Fiancé call me begging that I pay for G's College. I said no. She then asked how she was going to pay for G, and I said that A.) she could stop relying on people to pay for her children and work for a change, B.) She could get the father  to pay or C. ) Acknowledge that her s*x drive had gotten her into this mess so maybe she can do what money moochers like herself do and go find a rich man to pay for her mistakes. She cried at C and then hung up. Later her mother called saying that Fiancé honestly didn't want to mooch off of Bro and that my comment was a horrible thing to say. I told her to not contact me again as we are not related.

 Bro was mad at me saying that I shouldn't of been horrible to Fiancé. I accused him of picking the person who wronged him over the person who defended him. He said that who he is with is none of my business and that I am crossing too many boundaries with my comments. I accused him of only caring for my opinion when it gets him money and that he's a gold digger. We haven't spoken since but my mum is calling me the AH as I should at least be there for G.

Is she right? ######

Response:
 YTA. She might not be biologically related to you but as soon as your brother made the choice to raise her as his own, she became family. You’re punishing a child for what? Why is it your business if your brother is blood related to a child he is choosing to raise? It’s not like the fiancé cheated; they are in an open relationship. You’re going to destroy your relationship with your brother over this? If I were him, I would have cut you off by now at this point.

You’re right, it’s not your job to pay for his college. But I for the life of me can’t understand what anyone has done in this situation to justify your reaction. ######


Prompt:
I (25f) was supposed to get married late April. Due to COVID, we decided to postpone. We've been postponing and finally our venue is opening up, but they've said we can only bring 20 guests. We originally had a guest list of over a 100 people, but due to the pandemic a lot of them backed out and said they'd attend over Zoom. We're down to 60 people now. My sister was one of those people. She was 2 months pregnant at the time (now she's 7 months along or almost), and said that she'd attend over zoom. I know she felt very bad, so she bought me my wedding dress as my wedding gift + apology present.

For a while now, BIL and her have been in the process of buying a new house. They finally moved in a month and a half ago. Their house is absolutely gorgeous. It has a pool and a tennis court. I know that she can get her pool covered, and removing the nets from the tennis court would open up a world of possibilities and give us so much space to work with.

She was unhappy when I brought it up. Apparently she didn't want people coming in and out setting up the place, then giving up a spare bedroom or two to me and my bridesmaids and having makeup artists come into her house.

I don't get the big deal. She can still stay inside and watch the ceremony over zoom, or even better- her balcony. I mean, this is the only way that I can get all 60 of my guests to attend, without cutting down more. I don't get why she doesn't want to compromise. She doesn't have to attend in person if she doesn't want to.

She said that she's already bought me my wedding dress, but I'm willing to pay her back for it in monthly payments if it means she'll let me have her wedding at her place. I can't afford the cost of the dress upfront. ######

Response: YTA. She is pregnant and doesn’t want to deal with the stress of a wedding at her house not to mention she said she didn’t want to attend because of COVID so your solution is.....to have it at her house? Huge YTA ######


Prompt: My wife was on facebook and saw a picture of her grandmother and got sad that she's looking older. She went on to say that she wishes she could get back to where her family lives more, which comes up pretty frequently. I asked her why she chose to move out here if this was going to be a constant issue. I guess what I said was less than cool, but her family treated her really poorly when she lived with them and took advantage of her and when she moved out here, she was thrilled to be leaving. So it rubs me the wrong way when she acts like she's missing out on not being around them. Then she got mad and told me that it's normal for families that live apart to see each other regularly and I disagreed. I'm poor. I grew up poor, I've always been poor. She knew I was poor when we got together. Poor people don't take cross country trips. My Nana is from North Dakota and it was a huge deal when she got to go see her mother before she passed. Likewise, my Pop saw his mother who lived in Kansas once the whole time I was alive at that point. His family from Alaska visited a few times, but that was because they had money. We also just travelled across country to see my wife's family (on her parent's dime) on a lie her mother told about a dying family member because she wanted my wife to come out for her birthday. It was a terrible time that was very stressful for both of us and they made us sleep in the room where their dogs piss all day. I cannot see why my wife is so eager to do it again. I personally have no desire to go back there. They basically ignored us the whole time we were there and all we did was eat. I think it's their turn to come out here, but they never will because they hate California. They don't like me. I don't understand why my wife wants to do that all over again. ######

Response:
 YTA. She is missing her family. While it's normal that families who live 2000 miles apart cannot meet regularly, criticizing her is AH behavior.

It sounds like an underlying issue is thay you don't like her family, which is a different issue.

Instead of saying you're too poor to go more often, you should work with her to make a plan on how to go visit next. Make the plan realistic, but this will make give ger something to look forward to and makes it feel like you are helping.

If it's any consolation, going to visit my family involves 30 hours of flights, so it could be worse! I'm 8,700 miles away. ######


Prompt:
I knew this was coming. My daughter brought a "friend" back from college at the end of last year that I suspected was her actual girlfriend. My thing is, if my daughter is a lesbian, I don't want to know. I'm homophobic. I admit it, I am. I don't hate gay people personally, and I think they should all be respected, but I don't understand it and I don't want to understand it. They can live their lives and I'll live mine and we'll just peacefully coexist.

So if my daughter is lesbian, great. I just don't want to talk about it, hear about it, think about it, see it, anything.

My daughter called me recently, and said, "Daddy, I have something to tell you..."

I said, "If this is about that friend you brought home last year, I already know. And I still love you. I just don't want to talk about it, okay? If you guys are happy, that's all I need to know."

She said, "Daddy, I want to see you. I'm coming to see you this weekend."

I said, "That's fine, but if it's to talk about it, I don't want to talk about it. Just do what you want to do with your life and be happy. I don't need to know all the details."

Then she started crying and I handed the phone off to my wife.

My wife came to me later and said, "I know how you feel, but that's still our daughter. She doesn't even want you to accept it, she just wants you to hear her out."

I said, "We can talk about anything else. I don't need to know about her sex life - she can share that with you."

AITA for not wanting to hear/ talk about my daughter's sex life? ######

Response: YTA. She doesn’t want to tell you about her *sex life*, she wants to tell you about her *relationship* that’s *important to her*. You’re not asking her to peacefully coexist, you’re expecting her to hide a huge part of herself from you. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because my daughter has reddit.

I (45m) live with my wife (43f) and two daughters (18f and 11f). The housework in our home is done mostly by my wife - she does the cleaning and cooking while I do the shopping and mowing the lawn.

The thing is, the older daughter doesn't help around as much as someone her age should. She only does tasks that we specifically give her, she rarely cleans something without being asked to.

Anyway, the other day my wife wanted to spend some time in the garden, so I offered I'd vacuum the house for her, despite our 18 year old daughter being home and not doing anything at the moment. But I knew that if I asked her to do it, my wife would give me shit about it as she's very protective of her for some reason.

So I vacuumed the entire house except for the daughter's room - as always. I feel like at 18 years old she should have more responsibilies and skills concerning housework as she's a grown woman now and will have to do it in her own house one day, plus I don't see a reason why I should vacuum her room when she can do it herself.

She vacuumed her room without saying anything but later that day she came to me and claimed it's unfair that I always vacuum all the rooms except for hers. I told her that her room is not my responsibility, she then tried to turn that against me saying that in that case, her sister's room shouldn't be my responsibility either. I don't think it's the same since her sister is eleven.

Later my wife backed her up on it, saying it's not logical to vacuum the entire house minus one room. I still stand by what I said - she's eighteen, it's her room and therefore she should do it herself but she seemed angry the whole evening.

AITA here? ######

Response: YTA. She does all the chores you ask her to do. How can you possibly expect her to do something for you when you don’t tell her you want it done? It’s not like she’s lazy; she DOES do her chores. ######


Prompt:
We were having a family cookout and my kids were playing with their toys. I teach them to clean up their messes and they are starting to get the concept. But on occasion, they leave something on the floor and ill pick up the toy after them. My mom sometimes raises her voice at them but I've always held back because they helped out my husband and me I. Anyways the day was frustrating between some meat to bring spoiled, grill fell apart, etc. Typical first world problems. We were all hungry and a bit angry. My 3-year-old left his stuffed dinosaur on the floor and my mom lost her cool. She yelled, " Mikayla I'm sick and tired of your kids leaving their damn toys and my damn house".

I was got caught off guard by the language being directed at me. This came out of nowhere and she went on to say " If you can't clean up after your kids don't bring them over anymore". " They are so messy all the time". Something went off and I started screaming as well. I know my kids are messy and we try to clean up after them. But don't you ever talk badly about them.

After that scene, she apologized to me and said it was her being "hangry" I didn't expect the apology and left. All that yelling and screaming over a dinosaur. My older sister told me to smooth things over but I'm not going to. ######

Response: YTA. She didn’t insult your kids my dude, she insulted you. And she’s right. Clean up after your children if it’s not your house. Her wording shows that this is a recurring problem. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is 17 and ever since she was 11, she's had an entrepreneurial spirit. She would setup stands, get in trouble at school for sealing things to classmates, etc. It's never really been a problem.

Recently she's been working really hard on some side hustles along with her job. I didn't really understand what she was doing but thought it was just a little extra money on the side.

One day she sat me down and should me her paypal account. The balance read somewhere in the excess of $150,000.

I was absolutely floored by it, I won't get much into it but I interrogated her and made sure it wasn't anything illegal. Other than her having to lie about her age, the money was clean. Then I took all the money and put it into a savings account. I'm going to use some of it to pay for college and the rest goes to me and my wife.

My daughter is upset that I took all the money. But I just feel like I made the responsible choice. She doesn't know what to do with all that money. From now on her mother and I will be closely monitoring her accounts and take all money that comes to. But AITA? ######

Response: YTA. She clearly does know how to handle money since she has $150k. Give it back, but maybe in a bank account instead of PayPal. ######


Prompt:
Ok so breakdown of the situation, my partner and I both work but she leaves for work(hairdresser) at 7:30 i leave at 8:30 (Electrician). She gets up in the morning and usually heads to the gym and then comes home to get ready for work and I like to sleep in as I usually get home later and prefer to stay up a little later.

So one morning she comes into the bedroom after she's gotten changed and asks me to make her some toast or something cause she's running late for work. Ive awoken but I don't usually get up for breakfast myself as I don't eat till first smoko, so basically I said "umm surely you can make some toast yourself and not be any more late to work?". She absolutely spat it and made me feel like an asshole for not getting up to help her, in which is a situation I feel she put herself in. She knows how long it takes to leave the gym, how long it takes to get ready ect and she could have put some toast in the toaster by the time she had asked me to do and more after the time it took to tell me off.

Now now I get it, it would be the nice thing to do to get up and help my partner but it would also be the nice thing to not ask someone in bed to get up and make you food on a 5 degree morning.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: YTA. She asked you for support — and a pretty small amount of it. If she did this every day that would be one thing, but one time? If you can’t make her toast one time when she’s running late and overwhelmed, then I can’t imagine you’re bringing much to the relationship. ######


Prompt:
I love my (27m) wife (30f). I do. But this greatly annoys me.

My wife decided on a whim about a year ago that she wanted to learn Spanish. We didn't have money for lessons, so she borrowed a Spanish textbook and some kind of dictionary with pictures of objects labelled in both English and Spanish. Made a ton of flash cards, tried to drill at least 50 new words every day and learn a piece of grammar.

It takes up so much of her time and she chatters about it a lot.

Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of her. It's cool that she can read and write in Spanish now (she can't really speak or understand it when it's spoken).

But people keep praising her when it inevitably comes up for "teaching herself Spanish" and she doesn't deny it.

I pointed out that she didn't teach herself Spanish. Even with 50 words a day she still has a long way to go, it's misleading to say she taught herself Spanish because it implies she can communicate fluently. Even if it wasn't misleading, even if she was fluent, she didn't reach herself. Textbooks, dictionaries, and Mexican guildmates online taught her (when she asked for clarification sometimes).

She didn't say anything when I brought this up. Just kind of wilted. But her friends keep glaring at me whenever we meet and they called me a jerk when I brought it up. It's like when you tell a kid Santa isn't real. Like "don't burst the bubble." But the bubble is *fake.*

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. She **is** teaching herself Spanish. Why are you intent on cutting down what your wife is accomplishing?!

She has stuck with it a year and she knows far more Spanish than many people. And she's continuing to learn.

You sure don't sound proud of her. You sound jealous of the positive responses she's getting. ######


Prompt:
My daughter (16f) is really introverted, and doesn't really play any sports, so my husband and I decided to fill up her schedule with afterschool activities every day. She has robotics two days a week, tennis practice three days a week, and band practice for two days a week. She was strongly against it, but went along with it at first. After going through a week of school, she expressed that she wants to drop every single one of those afterschool activities. I told her that she could either drop robotics or band, but she got really angry and said that she wasn't going to spend hours every week on activities she hates. When I mentioned that she wasn't really outgoing, and wouldn't do anything productive if it were up to her, she yelled at me, and called me a "b\*tch". For that, I told her that I wouldn't let her drop anything for at least the next month, and if she gave me any more sass, she wouldn't be allowed to drop any of the activities until the school year was over. She stormed off to her room, but I don't really think I was 'being a b\*tch', but she might have been right.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. Seriously, THREE extracurriculars she’s not even into? There’s pushing your kid, then there’s just being mean. She’s not broken, and even if she was this wouldn’t fix anything.

You’re just pushing her away. Although that maybe that’s your goal. All those activities will keep her out of the house, until she has breakdown. ######


Prompt:
I (21M) like to be naked at home. I’m most comfortable when I’m au naturale, and I refuse to apologize for it. My sister (25F) has been having some financial difficulties due to the current situation, and she asked me if it was okay if she crashed on my couch for a bit. She’s my sister, so of course I said yes. Lately though we’ve been having some issues. She says that she’s uncomfortable with me walking around naked, and says that she thinks I should cover up when I’m not in my bedroom or the bathroom. However, it’s not like she’s never seen a naked man before, and she’s probably seen me naked plenty of times, so I don’t see what the issue is. Plus, it’s my apartment and if I want to hang dong, that’s my prerogative. I told her my house my rules, and if she’s so prudish, maybe she should live elsewhere. Apparently she’s been texting our parents about this and they think I need to be more accommodating while she stays here until things get better for her, but I don’t think I should have to sacrifice my bodily autonomy for someone who’s crashing on my couch.

AITA for being naked inside my own apartment? ######

Response: YTA. Seriously, I can see why she'd feel weird about seeing her brother naked. It's common courtesy that you cover up in front of guests unless they are comfortable with nudity. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is a 16F.

She has recently started practicing witchcraft at her father's and has told me about it.

I do not like this AT ALL. It goes against our religion (I am a Devout Catholic). I have told her she isn't allowed to practice it and she then tells me that the BIBLE involves witchcraft??? She also gives me things about Pagan vs. Catholic. I have repeatedly told her I will not allow her to worship the devil and that if she keeps up this contract with Satan, she will be going to Hell.

Recently, she told me the real reason why it helps her, she has Autism and ADHD, and tells me it helps her. I told her I still will not allow her to. She cried and told me I care more about my religion than her.  This hurt me a bit. She then told me that if I believe in a "Magic man in the sky" she should be allowed to be pagan. I told her to get out and that I will be scheduling a meeting with the church to talk about this with her.

I forgot to mention that I've already let her have a girlfriend, I don't know what else she wants?

She has stopped talking to me completely, and I dont understand Why? I have had Reddit to monitor my daughter , and I've found this subreddit, after much consideration, I've decided to post, I hope I've done this right. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Say it with me. It goes against YOUR religion. I guarantee you also believe a lot of bs churches have fed you about paganism being evil and it’s just not true. It’s bullshit, as I said. You can’t claim it goes against “our” religion when she clearly doesn’t share that religion. There’s nothing I can’t stand more than bible pushers and that’s what you are. Open your mind. Paganism has nothing to do with the devil. The ignorance is real.... ######


Prompt:
 My cousin \[18F\] finished high school some time ago and made a post on Facebook that she now decided to give her books for free and if we need the books to contact her. Luckily, I was one of the first to see the post and immediately messaged her because I need the books for this year and next and they are ridiculously expensive ($50-60 per book).

So we talked and stuff and in the end we established that she’s going to give me most of the books. I was happy and all until she told me that I will have to pay for transportation. Here is where I lost it because transporting books from her country to mine is expensive and I in no way am going to pay that much money. I might as well just buy the books myself instead of getting the second hand books.

We had a huge argument which ended up with her blocking me which made me even more pissed and I commented on the fb post that in reality she isn’t giving the stuff for free (so that the others won’t waste time like I did). AITA here? Or is my cousin the asshole for not announcing on the post that transportation WON’T be free?

Also if u guys have any advice on how she could make the transportation costs cheaper plzzzzzz dm me and I’ll give you the details. DON’T comment your advice here though because Rule 9. If this still breaks the rule I’ll remove this paragraph. ######

Response:
 YTA. Posting books to another country is expensive. You honestly expected her to pay for that?

Publicly posting about it was totally out of line. ######


Prompt:
I (29M) live in a fairly affluent part of a city and I work for a more traditional firm. Admittedly they are a little behind the times in terms of dress codes (they still require full business attire unless you're in your cube/office).

I made a lot of friends working there and I have adapted to their style and customs. Now my brother and his girlfriend are in the process of moving but due to unfortunate circumstances, they have no place to live at for the month. Since my brother is a genuinely good guy, I offered to let him and his gf stay in a spare room at my apartment for the time being.

His girlfriend on the otherhand I think is completely trashy and we don't get along too well. But we get along enough that I could tolerate being around her for a month.

The issue is that since last time I saw her, she got a few piercings, dyed a strip of her hair, and got a nose ring. The piercings and hair I could stomach but the nose ring is out of line. The reason for this is that if I take my brother out on trips near us, his gf wants to come and I constantly see coworkers/bosses. This paints a negative picture of me and they start associating me with someone with the likes of her and that could be damaging.

I took her aside and told her that if she is going to stay with me, rent free, could she at least remove her nose ring? She got pissed off and told my brother what I said. We got into an argument and are now giving each other the silent treatment.

I don't ask much for them, I am letting them stay out of the goodness of my heart until they can move into their own place. All I wanted was her to remove a fucking ring and apparently it's such a big deal. I am baffled. Am I actually being an asshole about this?

And yes, I tried to find ways to get alone time with my brother so we can hang out by ourselves, but his gf always finds a way to tag along. ######

Response: YTA. Policing someone else’s body, especially when they don’t work for your conservative firm and are just living their lives, is a douche move. There’s nothing wrong with nose rings, and you should really think about how you view others, as it seems to be through a very narrow and unforgiving lens influenced by corporate America. ######


Prompt: My gf has been working on improving her health and skin and one of the thing she’s doing is trying drink enough water each day. I don’t keep track of it but she seems to be doing pretty well, I always see her drinking water. But the issue is... she still drinks a can of soda once a week or so, sometimes less. I noticed her drinking one today and I pointed it out and I was like I thought you were trying to be healthier?? And she got annoyed and told me she is and I should be “proud” because she used to drink atleast a can a day. And I took the soda from her and said she is not healthy until she stops it 100% otherwise her “efforts” to be healthy are literally useless. Now she’s pissed off at me that I won’t let her have this one thing, and she claims it’s not that bad. I’m just trying to help her and I feel like she needs some tough love. Sure it’s just a few sodas a month but those few sodas are canceling out all of her efforts. So at the end of the day she’s still unhealthy as fuck. I’m actually considering going through the fridge and tossing out the soda while she is at work. Its risky but honestly for the best. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Policing and denying food under the claim of being concerned for her health? Nah. You’re just an asshole. ######


Prompt:
So my wife is extremely into beauty & skincare. It’s a benefit for me because it means she’s really good looking and takes good care of herself.

She buys a lot of beauty products (her money) and they take up a lot of space in the bathroom. This doesnt bother me because skincare belongs in the bathroom.

Recently I went to the fridge to get a beer and noticed a glass vial in there. I asked my wife about it and she said it’s some kind of facial oil. I told her it doesn’t belong there. She rolled her eyes and walked off.

Now it bothers me when things aren’t in their right places. The fridge is for food. Period. Not skincare. I don’t wanna accidentally grab her oil one day thinking it’s like salad dressing or something and eat it.

I moved it to the bathroom and that night she saw it and was pissed. Apparently it was expensive and needs to be refrigerated after opening and was supposed to be kept away from sunlight (I put it on the windowsill with her other stuff)

She wants me to replace it but I don’t think I am wrong plus I told her it didn’t belong in the fridge

AITA? I just don’t think it’s safe to have non food items in food spaces. Thanks. ######

Response: YTA. Plenty of high quality skincare products require refrigeration. I have a mask sitting in my fridge right now. You’re not only the asshole in this situation but you are completely wrong. It was in the fridge because that’s where it belongs. Replace it. ######


Prompt:
Son is 14M, cat is 3F. My son’s bedroom is one the third floor of our house, so it’s basically a finished attic. Early in the morning, a thunderstorm rolled in. It was pretty brutal, and it shook the house especially up in his room. I yelled up to him to come downstairs to the first floor, just in case something happened. He yelled back to me that he was coming, he just needed to grab his cat. Well the cat is not usually great with being carried, but she was extra squirmy because she was freaked out and probably because she could tell my son was scared. Well it was almost five minutes after I told him to come down and I was freaking out so I ran upstairs and grabbed my son’s wrist and took him downstairs, without his cat. My son started hysterically crying and screaming about having to go back for his cat and that’s when I told him “the cat’s life can be replaced, yours can’t”. This just made him more upset.

Thankfully, the worst thing that happened was our neighbors’ tree got knocked into the street and the storm cleared out. But now my son is being really cold to me, and carrying his cat around in what seems like spite. I told him to stop with his attitude, and he started yelling at me that I was an “animal abuser”, which I am absolutely not. What you have to understand is when I grew up, our cats lived outside and sometimes showed up at night, sometimes stayed out. We never took them to the vet. If the cat died, a new stray cat would show up soon enough. So it was different in my childhood, and I was freaking out about the storm and was terrified that my son would get hurt. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Pets are not just items that can be replaced. If you can get your pet to safety, you absolutely should. Your son wasn’t in imminent danger and had more than enough time to get his pet out of harm’s way. ######


Prompt:
I don’t want to go too much into my medical issues, but I’m in week 15 of my pregnancy and my doctors told me I had an incompetent cervix.

Long story short, their recommendation was that I go on modified bed rest until the baby is born.

However, I happen to be leading a project at work. This project is one I’m extremely excited about and every time I put work into it, I feel like I’m doing something great. And that’s always been my first priority in life- to do something great.

My coworkers and bosses always praise me for getting great results regardless of personal sacrifice and I want to continue to do that.

My husband stopped me on my way to work and asked where on earth I thought I was going. I told him I had other obligations and unfortunately that meant sacrificing my health.

He said that the doctor put me in bed rest and I should be doing that of I might miscarry. I left to go to work anyway and he says I’m a covert narcissist who’s choosing admiration of others over the well being of her child

AITA? I’m not a narcissist, but honestly I can’t stand staying at home where all I am is an upcoming “ weak momma” who relies on her husband to make the money. And this is before the baby is even born.

My husband promised that having a kid would not make me any less of the boss and accomplished person I am, but obviously he’s already not respecting the decisions I’m making regarding my own body.

I know better than anyone when I’m in pain, so I feel it should be up to me to decide what to do with my body. ######

Response:
 YTA. Perhaps the biggest A I've ever seen on this subreddit. And I will tell you why.

**You are already aware of your incompetent cervix and apparently do not care.** Your doctor has likely explained the risks to you, and **you** have decided they are not important. You would rather go about your business. You're already a terrible mother.

My wife found out about her incompetent cervix at 22 weeks into a relatively easy pregnancy, when she went into pre-term labor at 3AM. At that point, she was too dilated for the high risk OB to do anything, including hormone injections or  a cerclage. All we could do at that point was to give my wife some steroid injections in hopes that it would help our daughter's lungs develop a little more. My wife basically had to lay in bed for five days with her feet up in the air and her head tilted down in hopes that *gravity itself* would keep her from giving birth. That lasted five days. Finally, the discomfort and the grief became too much and we decided to go ahead and deliver. We had an entire team of NICU support staff in our room waiting to take our baby to a nearby table and try to intubate her, even though she may have been too small. They managed to do that. Then they whisked her away to the nearby children's hospital for round-the-clock care.

She lived there for two weeks before her lungs popped under the pressure of the ventilator. Three times. She had a series of surgeries to insert chest tubes and relieve the pressure, but it didn't last. We were finally called into the hospital at 5am with the understanding that the prognosis was very grim. We'd already met with palliative care at this point. The neonatologist on call that day said she would not feel comfortable performing another chest tube surgery. That it would be **unethical**. So that morning they turned down the ventilator and gave us as much time as we could to hold her. My wife held our daughter for about a half hour. I got around 30 minutes, too. And then she was gone. And suddenly we were parents without a child.

So to recap, here's what your brazen disdain for your kiddo's life will probably net you (if you're lucky):

* A pre-term birth your child may not survive.
* A short NICU stay.
* A lengthy NICU stay at the best.
* The inevitable divorce after your husband blames you for your child's death.

For my wife's second pregnancy, her office was *extremely* accommodating, which is great because she was and is still our breadwinner. She stayed home for the last few months aside from one or two trips out. I did the grocery shopping. I picked up dinner. She essentially became a remote employee for the back half, and she *still*  went into labor early, even with hormone injections and a cerclage.

**TLDR: Not listening to your doctor will be the worst decision you ever make and you will likely kill your child by being such a blatant narcissist.** ######


Prompt:
My (30) girlfriend (23) is having trouble sleeping lately. She has nightmares every night in a row for a week now and we don't know where they come from or how to get rid of them. She stayed over at my place yesterday and she moved and sweat a lot in her sleep wich made me to also wake up a lot and have a bad night.

She has been a bit on edge lately and not as calm and collected as I would like her to (and am used to). She told me it's because she's not getting enough sleep for over a week now and offered to not sleep at my place until it gets better (wich I don't want to because I like spending time with her).
Here is where it got critical: I told her, her blaming her bitch behaviour on not getting enough sleep is the same as a criminal getting drunk and doing bad things and blaming it on the alcohol. Alcohol is no excuse, neither is no sleep. And while her behaviour is not that bad, I don't want her to make excuses for her actions.
She simply raised her eyebrows, got ready for work and left without a word. She hasn't spoken to me since.
I didn't mean to harm her with what I said. I'm simply worried she will treat others badly because she's exhausted from her nightmares and get in trouble.
AITA for using this metaphor?

Tl;dr: I compared my gf being bitch and blaming it on not getting enough sleep to criminals using alcohol as an excuse for their actions and now she won't talk to me anymore. ######

Response:
 YTA. People get cranky when they don't sleep. If she was actively trying to keep herself awake you might have a point, but instead she's having horrible nightmares and night sweats. These things are out of her control. It's not like drinking alcohol AT ALL and the fact that you equated it to that is, frankly, disgusting.

You haven't even stopped to consider the *reason* that she's having this awful nightmares. It sounds like a PTSD flare-up. She's probably having terrible anxiety too. And instead of being supportive you tell her she's essentially an alcoholic.

You're so, so much the asshole here. ######


Prompt:
Some our friends invited us to this little cozy spot where they have karaoke or you can just sing some songs you wrote.

My wife used to be a singer when she was younger and when they asked if anyone from the crowd wanted to come up to the stage to sing, our table went crazy. Especially me. I heard my wife sing in the shower and the car and I knew she was going to blow the place away.

We finally got her on the stage and sang a song I didn't recognize, but it was beautiful and she had so much emotion behind it. About missing an ex.

One of the guys who knew my wife longer than I had saw I was getting upset and leaned forward, "It was just an ex from high school. He was piece of crap, it doesn't mean anything." I excused myself from the table and I left.

When my wife got home later, she was upset because I had left without her, and our friends had to drive her home. I asked her why she had sang a song about her ex.

She said that she sang a song about me right after, and if I stayed around I would have heard it.

I said, "Yeah, but why would sing about your ex *first* and you were nearly crying like you still missed him or something."

She said she was going to bed. I called some of our friends and they confirmed that she did a sing a song about me after, but that still doesn't explain why she was singing a song about her ex first and nearly in tears.

Edit: Thank you u/CraptacularAdventure and u/Incognitoacon - you really helped put things in perspective for me. I'm going to apologize to her as soon as she gets home. ######

Response: YTA. People can have feelings and put emotion into songs - part of a performance is conveying exactly that. This whole thing reeks of insecurity and a rational adult would have talked with their spouse instead of walking out partway through the first song and not being supportive of their spouse. ######


Prompt:
This is a throwaway account. I (20F) was at home three months ago when my mom offed herself. She was a vile woman so I honestly didn't care.

She left completely out of her will and left her estate, vehicles, and everything else to my brother. My brother is a homicide detective and already makes good money.

I had been holding on to her note for the past couple months and the note states that she wants us to always stick together. I brought this up to my brother and asked him if I could have the estate and he told me "no, because it's his property".

I told him that we had to stick together and my brother said that "I wasn't gonna leach off of him the same way I leached off our mom". I was pissed so I tore up the note and threw the scraps at him.

He began crying and wailing loudly. I started to feel bad but I just walked away. He was crying the entire time I was walking away. I left when his wife came into the living room.

He told me over the phone that he was no longer gonna talk to me. He said that I was "evil" and "cold-blooded". So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. Out of all the stuff in here, the thing that stood out to me the most was that you used your mother's note as a way to try and manipulate your brother into giving you his property.

I hope you're a troll. ######


Prompt:
I have a 20 year old daughter. Shes always struggled badly with her mental health, all stemming from her dad passing away when she was 7. The way she’s always dealt with this is eating. Last year she went through a stage where she’d stay home from university simply to order a McDonalds, and this happened every day without my knowledge. Somehow she’s not massively overweight, just a bit podgy.

I also have a 17 year old son, and they get on really well. My son eats the entire house and puts no weight on and is an avid gym goer. Quite often he’ll ask my daughter if she wants to get takeout, and most of the time she says yes.

Last night he asked her if she wanted to get a dessert from a local dessert takeout. She, of course, said yes and ordered an XXL Brownie Waffle and a huge bottle of full fat coke. When it arrived I took the coke and told my son to tell her it hadn’t came. He told her I had it.

She storms downstairs all guns blazing and demands I give her the coke. She’s shouting and asking why I think it’s okay to tell her what she can and can’t eat. We get in a huge argument before she storms back upstairs. About ten minutes later I go upstairs to go to bed, and she calls me into her room. She says “you do realise I’m 20 right, why do you think you can dictate what I eat” and I, out of pure frustration, said “because if I didn’t you’d just keep going and fucking going” and walked out. She kept calling me to come back but I didn’t and went to bed.

I’ve woken up to her having taken the handle off her door so I can’t get in and not talking when I ask her to open it. When I text her asking her to eat she replies “oh I didn’t realise I was allowed to eat now” and just being snarky. I was just trying to protect her from herself. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. One cause of over eating is low self esteem. Guess who is causing that?

Love her unconditionally or give her enough money to move out. ######


Prompt:
I am French and my wife is British. Our daughter was born in France and has a French passport only.  At least for the moment.  At home we speak English so my kid's French skill is very poor (shame on me for not speaking French more).  She is starting school in France now.

So we're filling up forms for her school and my wife writes French/English against "Nationality".  So I said, that the kid is only French and we should correct that.

My wife says that it will help if someone reads the form, to know that the kid speaks English.

To which I replied that nationality is different from language.  We should put French only.

Apparently I had a smirk on when I said that.  I didn't even notice.  She blew up though "why you smirking at me? You're so arrogant. Stop doing that!"

Taken aback, I tried to explain again that nationality and languages are different, and that they'll find out soon enough for themselves if the kid struggles in French.

My wife was furious with me.  I am confused and ashamed to have smirked even though I didn't mean to. ######

Response: YTA. One British parent and one French parent makes child both, with or without a passport. ######