Prompt:
This happened a year ago, but my son still brings up how embarrassing it was so I'm trying to get some perspective here. We live in a gated community that has a semi-public pool. Only people who live in this community or their guests can access the pool.

One morning I went to the pool with my son, who was about ten at the time. As soon as we got there, I noticed a woman was there sunbathing TOPLESS as her daughter swam in the pool. Yes, they were the only people there, but it was a Saturday and this pool isn't known for being unpopular. I thought this was inappropriate as my son had seen it and anyone else's child could have seen it too. I also did not recognize her as someone from the community so she must have been a guest.

I approached her calmly and told her that it was inappropriate and she needed to leave. She looked at me as if I was crazy and said "sunbathing topless is normal where I'm from.". I asked her where she was from and she told me Spain. I was a bit annoyed by this point and told her "This is America, not Europe. We don't do that here." she seemed annoyed and put her swim top back on after, but I definitely still felt uncomfortable. My son said I was shouting at her, but I don't recall this. AITA? ######

Response: YTA just get over your insecurities as you said it's been years and you're thinking about this woman's boobs ######


Prompt: My dad and mum have recently moved (permanently) to sunnier shores and gave me the house. There's a whole lot of details revolving around that 'deal' which isn't really necessarily to mention for this post but long story extremely short, I'm on 'probation' for awhile and then it will officially/legally mine. The point is I'm moving in and since it's a pretty big house for one person, I told my mates that I was looking for someone trustworthy to move in with me and be my housemate. Told my parents, they were cool with it and gave me the thumbs up. I heard back that my sister's ex fiance (broke up over five years ago) was looking for a place to stay so I messaged him and manage to come up with an arrangement. He's an okay guy and pretty 'reserved'-ish like me so it's worked out pretty well so far. My sister came over just to visit and bumped into him. Things were awkward, he left and she bit my head off for hanging out with him then blew up after I told her that he's moved it. Said that I should've spoken to her and invited her instead since she would've loved to move back in. I wanted a housemate, not a sister. She's really mad at me right now and has been complaining about this to my parents. ######

Response: YTA it’s your sister and you should’ve asked first or at least told her. have fun repairing your relationship ######


Prompt:
A little context, I still live in our small family home with just my parents. A year or so ago my father had replaced the canvas pictures in the stairwell with naked images of my mother, nothing conventionally rude but sideboob and back / ass shots. Probably would look really tasteful if it was literally anyone outside my family.

It took my father two days before telling me who they were of, and he takes delight in showing other family members including the very young children. Since they've been up I've expressed that I'm not happy seeing my mothers ass and other parts on the stairwell, but I get shutdown and told "stop going on about it". I'm a pretty easy going person, but as soon as I mention the canvases it's like I've just told my parents I'm joining the KKK.

I've offered to pay the cost of each individual canvas so I can take them down, which has been denied. When I've threatened to put similar images of myself up my parents have taken delight, I suppose goading me as they think I won't do it.

So reddit, I seek your wisdom. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: YTA it's their home.  If you don't like their decorating choices, get your own. ######


Prompt: My daughter is currently in her second year of college and has all around been doing great, making me and her father very proud. Because of the insane cost of tuition (almost $40 thousand a year) and the fact that we run a fairly successful car rental business, we agreed that as her parents we'd cover up to three quarters of that, contingent upon her grades, with lower grades earning less aid (roughly equal to $8 thousand per point of GPA). This has worked great for everyone, but now we have a problem. My daughter has a beautiful name both me and her father took great pains to choose well, and it's a lovely mark of our heritage. Unfortunately, apparently basically nobody she knows can pronounce it properly, even after hearing it spoken over and over again. According to my daughter, English just doesn't have some of the sounds the name does, and so English speakers just don't know how to say it. So she wants to change it. To Michelle. **Michelle!**. This makes me furious. We've already had to sully the written form of her name by transcribing it into English lettering (good luck finding any official documentation that allows for non-English letters!), and now she wants to throw it away completely! So I've told her that if she changes her name, our aid deal is null and void. We'll still be her parents, but we won't donate big sums of money to someone so disrespectful. She had a melt down and said all sorts of horrible things, but I think she's just deflecting. Can't we choose how to spend our money? ######

Response:
 YTA It's her life and her name. You being "furious" with her wanting to change her name shows that you don't care about her feelings, you just care about what YOU label her as.

Of course it's your money and you choose how to spend it, but you're being petty as hell. ######


Prompt:
I know this is a weird hang up, but I was raised by my grandparents and they never used the word "pregnant" because to them it was almost like a dirty word. It was basically seen as vulgar. Everything was always "she's going to have a baby" or "she's expecting", so over time I developed an aversion to saying "pregnant" or "pregnancy". I am the same way with other words but those are not at issue here.

I guess my wife never noticed or didn't think much of it until we found out we were going to have a baby. One day she asked me about it and I explained the same thing I wrote above about how it wasn't something I grew up saying.

It seemed to bother her a lot more than I would have thought, and it's created a bigger disagreement than I would have ever expected. Because of my explanation she says that by me not using those words it makes her think that I feel what she is doing is dirty or something shameful and to be hidden. She thinks I secretly judge her. Weird take. I obviously don't feel this way and my hang up has nothing to do with her or the baby. It's purely about comfort and certain language not being part of my vocabulary.

I really think she is making too much of this and perhaps it is being used by her as projection for her own insecurities. I don't think my language choices in this case make me TA. She disagrees and wants me to start using the "right" terms to describe what is happening. ######

Response:
 YTA It was seen as vulgar because the actions leading to it were seen as vulgar and unmentionable.  Pretty much anything to do with proof of womanhood was seen as vulgar.  Menstruation, pregnancy, birth - it was all considered scandalous.  In several religions and cultures these things are seen as dirty, that women need to cleanse themselves following so that some poor man isn't sullied by this filthy femaleness.

Women used to be expected to hide pregnancy.  Victorian era was extremely pronounced in this and it continued.  This is why some children are told that storks bring babies - because sex and pregnancy are dirty unspeakable things.  Chickens and turkeys have "white meat" and "dark meat" because breast and leg were considered too vulgar.

Language is important.  Your wife's take is not weird.  The language one uses is very indicative of how one feels. ######


Prompt:
So this’ll be a real quick post, but I’ll try and get a bit of backstory into it;

My (38F) sister adopted her daughter and my niece Jennie when she was 3.

For whatever reason Jennie has never been the smartest bulb of the bunch; she failed literally every subject she took other than religious education and catering.

She’s horrendous with geography and history, especially maths, she’s optimistic but slow and doesn’t or can’t really keep up with the news.

My sister has signed her up for tutors but for whatever reason Jennie never took, we’d be watching a film or even an episode or something and she’d constantly be interrupting or talking and her teachers told my sister Jennie was a distraction.

My son (15M) has autism which is relevant.

I had been discussing my sons behaviour with my sister and talking about how hard it is to cope with, I love him as he’s my baby but sometimes I need to vent.

When she said something like “Oh I’m so thankful I never have anything like that with Jennie!” Every time I talk about my son it’s like my sister checks off things that Jennie doesn’t do and will always say she’s grateful Jennie isn’t like that.

I kind of laughed and told her I, from an outsiders perspective, thought she had it worst.

My son at least can make a decision, Jennie can’t even decide on what to have for dinner.

I tried to be polite when my sister asked why it was funny and I  explained Jennie is a bit ditzy.

I guess my sister told Jennie and now my sister is refusing to speak to me without me apologising to Jennie.

I didn’t expect Jennie to be told and I think my sister needs to not be so naive and learn that Jennie isn’t exactly bright.

Jennie has been tested for autism- she isn’t autistic, Jennie is 17.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA it sounds like Jennie has some learning disabilities. Calling her names like “ditzy” isn’t ok. Parents comparing and contrasting their kids disabilities isn’t ok. It’s not a contest to see who has it worst. ######


Prompt:
My wife of eight years and I have a seven year old son together, seven since May. We've had our rough patches, but I can say with certainty we've never had any major disagreements about how to raise our son.

We were out shopping a few days ago and split up to cover ground more quickly. Once I'd grabbed the things I was supposed to grab, I texted my wife to find out where she was, and she responded she had to use the restroom. So I decided to go wait by the restrooms at the front of the store. In the store in our town, there's 3 bathrooms: a men's, a women's, and a single person unisex bathroom. I didn't see my son waiting outside, so I assumed he was in the men's room. He's always been more than capable of using it by himself before.

So I was surprised to see them come out of the unisex bathroom together. I asked her if she'd been the one using it and she said she was, so I asked her why she took our son with her. I admit I might've sounded accusatory when doing it. She said she didn't want to leave him alone, I asked her why she didn't have him wait in the men's room or come find me to watch him. She said she didn't think she needed to. Our conversation stopped there.

My son later sought me out at home to ask me about the 'fight' his mom and me had at the store. I told him we weren't fighting. And I told him that was wrong and he should refuse if there's ever a situation like that again. Well, it turns out he was going between us, because he came back to me later to tell me his my wife said he wasn't in trouble because she said it was okay (I never told my son he was in trouble over it). We haven't discussed the matter, but there's kind of a 'mood' in the house because we realize we're telling our son things behind the other's back.

Surely I'm not the asshole here? At 7 years old, that was very inappropriate, and it's my job to tell my son what is and isn't appropriate. ######

Response:
 YTA it is absolutely not inappropriate to bring your child into the bathroom when they're still snatching-sized.

edit: changed appropriate to inappropriate because I apparently don't know how to type. ######


Prompt:
I have sensory processing disorder which means I am extremely sensitive to light and sound. My family does not seem to care and are always very inconsiderate: screaming, keeping bright lights on, etc.

My little sister is scared of the dark. To combat this, she has a HUGE LED light. It lights up my room (directly across the hallway from her’s) and makes it so I am unable to sleep. For some reason, my parents value her fear of the dark over my health. I never sleep well, and I am often up for hours, recently i have been tying a shirt around my eyes.

I’ve offered her solutions:
close the door
“no, i want the cats to come in”

use a small nightlight (i even went as far as to make her one out of fused glass and a small bulb)
“no, i like the big light”

However i’ve been really fed up with having a constant headache recently so this morning I snuck into her room and took the lightbulb out of her light and hid it. When she found out she threw a fit, and my parents are threatening to punish me if i don’t give it back (i don’t think i will, i’d rather have just one full night of sleep than my electronics)

So, AITA in this situation? ######

Response:
 YTA it doesnt sound like you’ve tried solving the problem yourself. Closing your own door or wearing a sleep mask or something. Even reading through your comments you want everyone around you to accommodate your needs.

I get it sucks but your sensory issues with lights are exactly that. Your issues. People wont always change to suit what you want or need. You need to make things work for you ######


Prompt:
Throwaway to maintain privacy.

So I got bored during quarantine and decided to try out some weed lube (with THC in it). I told my boyfriend that I had gotten some new lube and asked if we could try it and he agreed. Side note, the pack it comes in does have a cannabis logo but the bottle itself does not.

Anyway, after sex (which included oral) my boyfriend told me he was feeling light headed and I joked about the lube having weed in it. At first he didn’t take me seriously and asked to see the bottle. When he googled it and found out what it was he unnecessarily flipped out.

Now he’s upset. He says I “drugged” him and keeps using the word “drugged” even after I told him that makes me uncomfortable because didn’t slip him anything and he consented to have sex.

I confided in my friend about this and she’s taking his side on this and saying he could sue for that. I don’t believe this and I honestly don’t see how it’s a big deal. It’s like if I ate pot brownies without knowing they had pot in them. I wouldn’t be claiming that I was drugged by whoever made them.

It wouldn’t have made a difference if he knew and it’s not like he got hurt or I violated him in anyway. Everything was 100% consensual but they’re both treating me like I’m the devil. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA in several ways.

> Side note, the pack it comes in does have a cannabis logo but the bottle itself does not.

Hemp based lubes, such as Wet's Hemptation also brand with a cannabis leaf. Acting as though the packaging is a substitute for informing your partner is disingenuous, at best.

>Now he’s upset. He says I “drugged” him and keeps using the word “drugged” even after I told him that makes me uncomfortable because didn’t slip him anything and he consented to have sex.

You did drug him. It's completely possible that his job does random drug tests. He may have been trying to kick a habit. He could be allergic. You're uncomfortable because he's accurately describing the situation. He's uncomfortable because someone he trusted exposed him to THC without his explicit consent.

> It’s like if I ate pot brownies without knowing they had pot in them. I wouldn’t be claiming that I was drugged by whoever made them.

No. This analogy isn't accurate. If you steal someone's brownies, you're exposing yourself to that risk. If your friend gives you brownies and doesn't tell you what's in them, they're drugging you, just like you drugged him.

>It wouldn’t have made a difference if he knew and it’s not like he got hurt or I violated him in anyway.

You violated his trust and his bodily autonomy. He deserves the right to choose what he's exposed to.

>Everything was 100% consensual but they’re both treating me like I’m the devil.

While the sex acts were consensual, the THC exposure was not.

You did slip him cannabis orally/transdermally.
Informed consent is important ######


Prompt:
I’m a 24 year old male, and I have a very tight knit group of 5 friends. We are all the same age and every summer since we were like 19, we always would go on some sort of summer trip. When we were younger, we went on road trips to hiking locations, amusement parks, or concerts/music festivals. Last summer, we flew to Austin and stayed at an Airbnb. That was our most expensive trip we’ve gone on, and we didn’t even spend much on activities there.

This summers cancelled, so next summer we were discussing next summer. I was talking to one of my friends about splurging a little bit more since we graduated college and are getting started in our careers. I brought up Mexico, Spain or Australia. The friend I was talking to really liked the idea of going international, and we agreed the others would as well.

Well.. all the others but one. I’ll call him Bob. Bob never went to college and Is still working an entry level job at the same pet store he has for the last 5 years or so. Part of me thinks it’s shitty to propose this international trip, because we all know it would price bob out of going. I know this because last year we really wanted to do Vegas but ended up in Austin to keep it more affordable. (Though bob was the only one who claimed he couldn’t afford Vegas).  The other part of me thinks that it’s none of our faults that bob can’t afford it. And that we shouldn’t have to do less because he can’t afford to do more.

I feel bad because I started to see a shift in bob once we all graduated and landed our jobs, I can tell that he’s starting to feel that his life hasn’t progressed much since high school. I don’t want to hurt his feelings even more, but the rest of us can afford it and think it would be a great trip. ######

Response:
 YTA if you're all such great friends it doesn't matter where you go if you go together. The fact you are thinking of going somewhere that you know he won't be able to afford is a bit of a shitty move on your part.

Maybe offer several options including some cheaper places and see which he goes for. If he goes for the more expensive ones then maybe he can afford it, if not then maybe he can't. It doesn't really sound like you're a great friend to this guy. ######


Prompt:
My mom had me at 14. She went off to college at 18 and I stayed behind with my grandparents who raised me until I was eighteen. She wasn’t really in my life and I don’t feel like much was lost. My grandparents were still young and I was raised with my uncles and aunts who weren’t too far from my age. She ended up remarrying and having a new family.

She moved back to our hometown early last year and we reconnected. Before she would come visit every other year but now she was actually living here full time. I’m now 35 with two kids, 11 and 6. My moms 49 and her kids are 13 and 10. Her youngest and my oldest were supposed to be attending the same middle school/junior high in the fall.

My mom constantly complains that it’ll be embarrassing to have all the other moms in the PTA know that we’re mother and daughter and that our kids are close in age... I was like okay. She basically wants to befriend my friend group of moms but she’s embarrassed to BE my mom. She says it’s normal for a 49 year old to have an 11 year old but it’s not normal for a 49 year old to have a 35 year old. Well tough luck lady that’s your life.

My town has two different districts and I COULD send my kid to another middle school but I don’t want to disrupt his life and friends but at the same time my mother is kind of a passive person and I knew she will seek revenge somehow. She’s always been cold towards me and I don’t want to be in her friend group. And I don’t want to basically lie about her being my mom? She’s asking me to either a) say she’s my aunt or b) send my kid to a different school because her son has special needs and this school has an amazing special needs program so her kid comes first.

My heads spinning. ######

Response: YTA if you send your kid to another middle school away from his/her friends for your own reasons. I think the kids should come first. Is he/she aware of their step-uncles/aunts and their relation to them? If yes and they are cool about it, then they should go to whichever school is best for them, not for your convenience. You wouldn't expect your kids to lie about their relationship to your step-siblings to their friends, so I don't think it is a secret that can be kept any ways. I think you should have a proper, open conversation with your mother to let her know your side of things as well - and do what's best for the kids. ######


Prompt:
I’m a 24 year old male, and I have a very tight knit group of 5 friends. We are all the same age and every summer since we were like 19, we always would go on some sort of summer trip. When we were younger, we went on road trips to hiking locations, amusement parks, or concerts/music festivals. Last summer, we flew to Austin and stayed at an Airbnb. That was our most expensive trip we’ve gone on, and we didn’t even spend much on activities there.

This summers cancelled, so next summer we were discussing next summer. I was talking to one of my friends about splurging a little bit more since we graduated college and are getting started in our careers. I brought up Mexico, Spain or Australia. The friend I was talking to really liked the idea of going international, and we agreed the others would as well.

Well.. all the others but one. I’ll call him Bob. Bob never went to college and Is still working an entry level job at the same pet store he has for the last 5 years or so. Part of me thinks it’s shitty to propose this international trip, because we all know it would price bob out of going. I know this because last year we really wanted to do Vegas but ended up in Austin to keep it more affordable. (Though bob was the only one who claimed he couldn’t afford Vegas).  The other part of me thinks that it’s none of our faults that bob can’t afford it. And that we shouldn’t have to do less because he can’t afford to do more.

I feel bad because I started to see a shift in bob once we all graduated and landed our jobs, I can tell that he’s starting to feel that his life hasn’t progressed much since high school. I don’t want to hurt his feelings even more, but the rest of us can afford it and think it would be a great trip. ######

Response: YTA if you exclude Bob. Why don't you all chip in to subsidize the trip for him? That's what my friend group has always done for our one friend who has a lot less money than us. ######


Prompt:
So I was due for Botox and fillers yesterday. My husband was out of town on an emergency business trip and my daughter’s nanny had quit during the lockdown period.

I had the option of my mother in law coming over but she tended to let my daughter have cookies, soda, and chips behind my back, so I really didn’t like that option.

So we get to the office and the nurse practitioner comes to greet me. We get to the room and I have my daughter sit on one of the plushy chairs that are usually for guests of the patient.

We start discussing what improvements needed to be made and where she was going to inject/ why and everything goes smoothly and we go home.

But today my husband catches her poking her chewing muscles at dinner and asks what’s up. She says she wants to get her jawline thinned like mom did yesterday.

My husband says no way to her and after she leaves the table he lays into me, asking if I took her to my appointment.

I explained that I wasn’t about to leave her with an irresponsible guardian nor would I leave her in the car but he wasn’t having it. He ends up defending his mother and saying that I was being irresponsible. He then blames me for our eldest daughter, who is 21, deciding to get a nose job at 18 even though it was completely her choice to make that decision and she paid for it herself.

AITA? The nurse says a lot of kids come with their moms to the office. ######

Response: YTA if you can’t see how bringing a young girl to your plastic surgery/cosmetic procedure appointments won’t impact her own self-esteem. Kids are our mirrors. They learn by watching you and your husband and they learn in very black/white terms. So if the lines on your face are bad, the lines on her face are bad, too. If you say your nose was bad but thank god you got it fixed, your daughter who genetically may have inherited your nose will see her nose as bad, too. If you can’t see this, and at least try to understand where your husband was coming from, YTA. ######


Prompt:
I’m a 24 year old male, and I have a very tight knit group of 5 friends. We are all the same age and every summer since we were like 19, we always would go on some sort of summer trip. When we were younger, we went on road trips to hiking locations, amusement parks, or concerts/music festivals. Last summer, we flew to Austin and stayed at an Airbnb. That was our most expensive trip we’ve gone on, and we didn’t even spend much on activities there.

This summers cancelled, so next summer we were discussing next summer. I was talking to one of my friends about splurging a little bit more since we graduated college and are getting started in our careers. I brought up Mexico, Spain or Australia. The friend I was talking to really liked the idea of going international, and we agreed the others would as well.

Well.. all the others but one. I’ll call him Bob. Bob never went to college and Is still working an entry level job at the same pet store he has for the last 5 years or so. Part of me thinks it’s shitty to propose this international trip, because we all know it would price bob out of going. I know this because last year we really wanted to do Vegas but ended up in Austin to keep it more affordable. (Though bob was the only one who claimed he couldn’t afford Vegas).  The other part of me thinks that it’s none of our faults that bob can’t afford it. And that we shouldn’t have to do less because he can’t afford to do more.

I feel bad because I started to see a shift in bob once we all graduated and landed our jobs, I can tell that he’s starting to feel that his life hasn’t progressed much since high school. I don’t want to hurt his feelings even more, but the rest of us can afford it and think it would be a great trip. ######

Response:
 YTA if u don't really care about ur friend.

I get that u want to go further now but if u plan on bringing all ur friends u should be considerate and think about him too.

doesnt really sound like good friends to me. ######


Prompt:
I was visiting my parents in the suburbs for a few days. I live in an apartment in a big city, so I enjoy getting to spend some quiet time in the burbs once in a while. It was a gorgeous day so I decided to sit out in the backyard and read for a while. The neighbors two houses down were outside with their kids and I couldn’t see them but boy could I hear them. Lots of yelling, crying, and general little kid noise carried over so clearly it sounded like they were 2 feet away.

I tried my best to ignore it but eventually the little girl started screeching. After each scream, I’d hear her dad say, “louder Kylie!” And so the next one would be louder. “LOUDER KYLIE!!” again and again. Eventually I lost it and shouted, “QUIETER KYLIE.” It was quiet for a second, then she let out one last monster scream and I assume they went inside.

Eventually I went back inside and my mom asked what the yelling was about. I complained about the neighbor’s kids and she said I shouldn’t have done that. I have a notoriously low threshold of patience when it comes to kids so I wonder if I overreacted. They were loud and annoying af but they were on their own property. BUT their loudness prevented me from enjoying time on my family’s.

So, who’s the asshole here? ######

Response: Yta if it was not past 10pm and they were on there own property they can do whatever they want as long as it is legal and THEY ARE KIDS they have way too much energy and are probably trapped in side all day. And you said it yourself you have a short fuse with kids put some headphones in next time. ######


Prompt:
My SO and I are moving in together in a few months. We are going to find a new bigger apartment together.

 He has a cat. I'm not an animal person at all. I'm afraid of cats, dogs, ferrets, hamsters, you name it. I'm the kind of person that cries when a dog comes near me. When I'm over at his place, he puts his cat in another room so I won't be scared. I told him he'll have to rehome his cat before we move in together.

He was understandably upset. He believed  that he would be able to just keep the cat away from me...in our shared apartment. He suggested maybe getting a puppy instead because maybe i was a dog person but I shut that down too. I told him our place must be pet free.

 I told him my reasons and he said we could  work on my fear beforehand and it won't be a big deal. I told him absolutely not. I've been afraid of animals my whole life and it's not something that's going to change in a few months.

 I felt like he was belittling my fear. You don't tell people who are afraid of snakes or roaches or rats to work on getting over their fear so why is mine any different?

I basically told him it's me or the cat. I'm willing to not move in together if he really wants to keep his cat. He said it was really unfair to make him get rid of his cat and ban him from having any pets in our apartment. We're barely speaking right now.  Every time I bring it up, he says he doesn't want to talk about it right now.

AITA for telling him no pets in our apartment? ######

Response: YTA if i were him i would choose the cat. ######


Prompt:
Me (M38) and my gf (F23) have lived together for 3 years. She didnt go to college, and she wasnt very popular in high school. She hasnt made many friends in the 3 years we've been together and I dont mind. I work, she stays at home. Its fine for the both of us.

&#x200B;

A few days ago I came back from work to see another man, near my GFs age, sitting at the kitchen table. She introduced him as her old friend from highschool she ran into at the market. I was suspicious and made him leave, and told her not to bring friends over, especially male ones, without letting me know.

A few days later, he was back. She said he just dropped by and she appreciated the company, as she spends most of her time inside. I let it go and he was there almost every day after work. It annoyed me  alot because I wanted to spend time with my girlfriend. We had a argument and she said she was lonely and just liked a friend. I told her I give her everything she needs to be happy and she can handle the day alone til I come back. She said she didnt want me to be the only thing in her life, and I told her if she didnt want to listen to me, she could get out of my home. She broke up with me before she left and lives with her friend now. I feel bad but it seems like her "friend" was trying to become more than friends.

AITA? I miss her and I've been eating takeout since she left ######

Response:
 YTA I’m afraid - the way you describe her doesn’t suggest you love her, it’s more like she should be grateful to you because she didn’t have any friends before you.

If you treat her with the level of respect you’ve shown her here then you shouldn’t be surprised that she’s looking elsewhere. ######


Prompt:
It was my birthday yesterday and about a week ago my wife asked me what I wanted to do / what to have the our kids ( 11 m, 13 f, and 15 f) get me (she gives them the money then they gift it to me) . I told her that I didn't want do anything for it and that the perfect birthday for me would be me being able to spend the entire day in my office not having anyone ask me do anything for them.

You see, this quarantine has been very hard on me because I'm not used to spending this much time with my family as I usually work long hour days at my office with a pretty long commute, so my does most of the homemaking (she's a sahm). Because  of working at home now and my kids are out of school, I have been overwhelmed. They are constantly asking me to do stuff and are overall annoying right.  So I thought I could just get one day to relax without them badgering me.

My wife was taken aback from my request and said that maybe we could do something small for my b day. I insisted that we do nothing for my birthday and that the best gift she could give me would be her handling all of the childcare that day. She told me "fine whatever" in a snarky tone and I didn't respond.

She was weird with me up to my birthday, but I just ignored since I didn't want to fight with her.  Yesterday (my birthday), I told my kids thanks for saying happy birthday and told them to not try to speak with me for the day since I would be relaxing. They seemed fine with it and that was that. I went along with my day and it was absolutely amazing. No cake, no kids, no wife, just relaxing. I honestly needed it.

The problem is that now today my wife has been upset/bitchy with me and my kids have been basically ignoring me. It is honestly very immature imo. I just wanted one day to relax ffs, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA I was somewhat open to your request until this:

>I told my kids thanks for saying happy birthday and told them to not try to speak with me for the day

Dude, you’re a grown ass man and a father. Having a birthday doesn’t entitle to shun your children for an entire day. ######


Prompt:
My cousin and I went to the same college lived in the same city. She has turned 30 in March and has been freaking out about being single.

The guys my cousin goes for are consistently out of her league. And it shows too, she is excited to post about them they want to keep it on the dl.. and are never “ready for a relationship.”

She came over to my house saying that men of this generation aren’t ready to settle down that they just want to sleep around. I was like it’s because you go for guys out of your league. And that plenty of people are in a happy relationship that she need to evaluate her own choices.

This lead to anger from my moms my sister and cousin. That just because a guy is more attractive than her doesn’t mean he can treat her like crap. There is no such thing as leagues. I’m a pos... I felt that I was the only one that told her anything close to honesty and I’m being vilified ######

Response:
 YTA I see quite a few couples where, would you go by your system, one is dating down. So I guess there must be other factors...

If you meant that she goes for guys who are douchebags, that's an entirely different thing, and something you wouldn't say in a way that makes her feel bad about herself.

And yes, definitely no matter how hot someone is, they don't need to treat anyone else badly. ######


Prompt:
This is my first time posting on here. This shouldn’t be too long of a post.

Our oldest son is 19 years old, he is a sophomore in college and goes to a small school about an hour away from our town. Last sunday, we got a call from him saying that he needed some money. I’m actually surprised he called his mom and not me first. But he told her that he was out at a bar and got a ticket for being underage and drinking there.

She was pissed to say the least. She made him come home this weekend so she could see the ticket. We gave him the money, but agreed he eventually pay us back. She lectured him on how his actions are dangerous and we aren’t paying his rent for him to be getting tickets. I just called him a dumbass and told him to be smarter. My wife also interrogated him on how he got in the bar. She asked if he had a fake ID and he said no. He told her a friend knew a bartender and was able to get him and his friends in. She believed him.

Now, I happen to know that my son has had a fake ID since he was a freshmen. I know all the college kids have them and I don’t think it’s a huge deal. I found it on his desk one day and asked him about it, I wasn’t mad I just said to be careful. I talked to him about it after the ticket and he said the cop took it.

Anyways, I haven’t told my wife about this. I honestly don’t really plan to. She bought his story and she’s already mad enough at him. I know she’d be much angrier if she knew that he had one and that’s how he’s been getting alcohol. ######

Response: YTA I know you feel it's not a big deal but hiding something like this from your wife is a slippery slope towards distrust and marital problems.  Instead explain the situation and explain how you want it dealt with and come to a compromise on how you should address this with your son, if at all. ######


Prompt:
Son is 14M, cat is 3F. My son’s bedroom is one the third floor of our house, so it’s basically a finished attic. Early in the morning, a thunderstorm rolled in. It was pretty brutal, and it shook the house especially up in his room. I yelled up to him to come downstairs to the first floor, just in case something happened. He yelled back to me that he was coming, he just needed to grab his cat. Well the cat is not usually great with being carried, but she was extra squirmy because she was freaked out and probably because she could tell my son was scared. Well it was almost five minutes after I told him to come down and I was freaking out so I ran upstairs and grabbed my son’s wrist and took him downstairs, without his cat. My son started hysterically crying and screaming about having to go back for his cat and that’s when I told him “the cat’s life can be replaced, yours can’t”. This just made him more upset.

Thankfully, the worst thing that happened was our neighbors’ tree got knocked into the street and the storm cleared out. But now my son is being really cold to me, and carrying his cat around in what seems like spite. I told him to stop with his attitude, and he started yelling at me that I was an “animal abuser”, which I am absolutely not. What you have to understand is when I grew up, our cats lived outside and sometimes showed up at night, sometimes stayed out. We never took them to the vet. If the cat died, a new stray cat would show up soon enough. So it was different in my childhood, and I was freaking out about the storm and was terrified that my son would get hurt. AITA? ######

Response: YTA I forgive you for what you said in the heat of the moment, but then you didn't fix it afterwards. A cat's life is also irreplaceable. Your son's life is worth more than a cat's life, but that doesn't make a cat's life any more replaceable. The fact that you treated cats poorly in childhood and do not care about cats is not an excuse. And you failed to show compassion to your son when he was hurting, after the situation had calmed down. You clearly care about your son, but you should act that way in situations other than emergencies. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend can definitely be a little too outspoken sometimes and I wish she could tone it down because we're both in college right now and primarily dependent on our parents, so don't bite the hand that feeds you. My mom doesn't like my girlfriend very much but she was doing some spa stuff with her friend and invited my girlfriend to join them.

My mom is dating a doctor and she went to his practice to get botox the other day and I guess had sex with him after he did it. She was telling her friend and my girlfriend had to interject about how bad that was and how unprofessional. My mom said she's jealous because she had to pay for her nose job. They then got into a fight about if it is unethical for a doctor to date his patient, but I feel like it doesn't matter because it was plastic surgery, it's not like my mom had cancer and was in some vulnerable state.

My girlfriend said he should have his license revoked for having sex with a patient and my mom pretty much told her to fuck off. I was annoyed that i had to referee because it's one of those times where she should have just said nothing, and I really didn't want to be roped into a conversation about my mom having sex. I called my girlfriend a puritan and she ended up crying. I kind of feel like an ass because she's always had issues with sexuality but I didn't mean it that deep. I just meant she should stay out of my mom's sex life. ######

Response:
 YTA I don’t really get the Puritan reference? Do you think you gf is being a prude? It is gross that they had sex where other patients now have to come in and receive care. That’s super unsanitary and defiantly disrespectful to the other patients.

And also why was your mom even telling your gf that story?? I do not want to hear about my MIL’s sex life. Especially if they’re not even friendly to start with. ######


Prompt:
Okay so this title  makes it sound really bad but it’s not as cut and dry as it seems.

I’m (21m) a senior in college but am doing a five year program. I have two roommates in an off-campus apartment, two dudes that I’ve been friends with for years.  They’re both graduating in May, only staying for four years. People start looking at off-campus housing at my school for next year in September or October of the current year (insane, I know), so I have to start looking now if I’m going to find something live-able/not super expensive. I’m open to living on my own, but would prefer not to.

Don’t know where else to put this in the story, but I’m gay and have openly been for two years.

So one of my roommates “John” told me that he has a friend of a friend looking for housing next year that I should talk to about living with. He says he’s met the guy a few times and he seems normal. I ask him what he knows, and John brings up that he’s gay. That’s when I said no, I’m not interested.

I have no interest in living with another gay guy. I just don’t want to live with someone that there is ever any shot of anything sexual happening with, which is why I’ve only lived with straight men. Before I get shit on for this, how many women only have woman roommates and how many men only have male roommates?  Plus in sophomore year I lived in the dorms with another gay guy, we hooked up while living together, and it was a whole thing.

Well, it turns out John already mentioned me to the guy before having this conversation, and now he had to tell him I wasn’t into it. He also apparently had to tell him why for whatever reason. Apparently the guy now thinks I’m a “self-hating gay,” which I find offensive and ridiculous. I admit that I don’t have a lot of gay people in my platonic circle, but I do date pretty often.

So AITA? ######

Response: YTA I don't understand where you're coming from. If you don't want to have a potentially romantic/sexual situation with a roommate, then don't. It's not that hard. ######


Prompt:
When my daughter was nine, she and her brother had spilled juice on two books and the head librarian went up to me and said “Ms. X, this book is all wet and it’s all damaged and I am very upset. Do you know what may have happened?” I saw immediately that it was a chapter book and got upset at my daughter in front of the librarian, saying that she was irresponsible and that we wouldn’t be borrowing books from the library anymore if she was going to make us pay huge fines to the library because she can’t keep water away from a book.

I got home and told my husband and he was upset too. He said that we’d have to pay them $10 to get a new book (details that the librarian and I had worked out) and told my daughter that “ten dollars was not a small sum of money.”

My daughter was like, “I’m sorry, Dad,” and handed over a 20 dollar bill that my sister had given her for Christmas. My husband was like, “That is not your money. That is money your aunt worked her ass off to give you. Wait until you work your ass off at a dead-end job to and you make less than ten dollars an hour.” I agreed with my husband. My daughter recently confronted us about this and honestly, we didn’t even remember.

My daughter said that incident, along with others, made her bitter and resentful towards us, so AITA? ######

Response: YTA I already thought you were TA for getting that upset at a nine your old for ten dollars when I know adults who have treated books way worse, but when she offered to pay it with money she was given therefore was hers in other words when she tried to take responsibility you got mad at her that’s behaviour you should be encouraging not shutting down i hope that this was the only time in her life you did anything  like this ######


Prompt: My gf gets very bad period pains and everymonth it's the same old shit. She's always whining and moaning to me about it like there's something that can be done about it and she went crazy last month because I said it's it's a coincidence that everytime she's bleeding from her vagina my ears always end up bleeding too. But that's another story. This month I decided to go all out as I felt bad for last month and got her a get well soon card, flowers and chocolate to see if that would shut her up. She went crazy saying I was being facetious and that I had no respect for her. I genuinely ment well by it but she just says I have no understanding and won't talk to me. I dunno if this is the hormones or not, guess time will tell. But In the mean time AITA? ######

Response: YTA how you wrote everything down comes across as super douchey my guy. She's legit bleeding and yeah it's not nice for you but it sure as Heck ain't good for her. Next time just the flowers and chocolates and respect. ######


Prompt:
My roommate and I (both 20f) don’t know each other that well. We have mutual friends who both knew we needed roommates at the beginning of the year, so set us up. We’re not in the apartment at the same time very often, so I wouldn’t say we’re friends, but we don’t dislike each other.

At the beginning of last week, my roommate told me she was going to go back to her hometown (about 2 hours away) because her dad was sick and she wanted to be with her family. I said okay, see you when you’re back, the usual. That night, I invited my boyfriend over and we ended up getting a bit drunk, which resulted in him puking red wine all over my bed. It was like 3am at this point, and I was tipsy, so I dragged him over to my roommates bed and we both fell asleep.

The next morning my boyfriend went home, but I was hungover and didn’t want to wash my sheets yet, so I just stayed in my roommates bed. I ended up sleeping and staying in my roommates bed for the rest of the week.

She came back to the apartment on Monday whilst I was out shopping, and I came back to her questioning as to why there was a phone charger on her bed. I told her that I’d been sleeping in her bed because of the red wine puke, expecting her to just find it amusing, but she was absolutely disgusted and called me a slob because I didn’t wash my sheets. She then demanded I change her sheets because my boyfriend and I had both slept in them and I refused saying they were hers so she should clean them. She’s now saying that I crossed a line and that she’s going to start looking for a new roommate. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA holy wow.

1. Who the fuck leaves puke for a week and doesn't clean it?

2. Especially if it was puked on the bed?!?! I own a waterproof mattress protector and I'd clean that shit immediately to make sure it doesnt soak through. Or at the very least throw that shit away?

3. How did you stand that smell for a week?

4. You never even asked/told her you used the bed.

5. I learned growing up that when you use someone else's stuff, you should return in the same state or a better state than you found it. That means after you use your roommates bed and shed your dead skin cells all over it, you should clean it.

This can't be real. ######


Prompt: I've always facetuned my photos, even before I met her. I feel like every one our ages (26 & 23) who actively use Instagram regularly are guilty too, I'm just open about it. My wife is now refusing to speak to me after I posted a pic of us, and I edited the pic to make her look thinner. I have told her that I do not expect her to look like the pics IRL, and everyone knows Instagram is not a realistic depiction of anyone. She still lets this make her feel insecure and claims I'm, well, an asshole. I find photo editing creative and just want us both to look our very best, I do edit my own appearance, not just hers. So reddit, am I really the asshole for something as trivial as this? I think it's a childish reason to not speak to your partner over this, and find it hard to believe she isn't being performatively upset. ######

Response: YTA holy shit. what a dick move. if it was blemishes or dark circles, whatever. but NEVER imply you would change or prefer someone at a different weight ######


Prompt:
I(14F) was bored today, so I decided to pull this prank on my brother(16M).

I mixed some ghost pepper paste in his toothpaste. The prank worked well, initially he thought something was wrong with his toothpaste but then his mouth started burning hard and he ran for the milk. I though it was pretty funny.

I thought he would laugh it off too but he got a little heated. I said I was sorry and was just trying to have some during quarantine. He even told our parents about it, who also laughed at it but he is still mad.

I was all “ok wtf no I apologized it was literally nothing”. Nope wouldn’t budge. He didn't even play board games with me this evening.

AITA here? ######

Response: YTA his mouth was burning. He was in pain. Why is that funny to you? ######


Prompt:
 I (33M) have been married to my wife (32F) for the past 5 years. 6 months ago my wife decided to undergo rhinoplasty (nose job) surgery due to not liking the shape of her nose for several years and also to repair a deviated septum (although the primary reason was cosmetic). I personally didn’t think she needed the surgery and the money could have been better spent, but agreed it was her choice to make.

Here’s where my wife thinks I was the asshole: I was driving her to the surgery and she was getting very nervous thinking about how it could all go wrong. Meanwhile, I was dead tired and it was early in the morning. She caught on that I wasn’t in the best mood and asked how I felt about driving her to the surgery. I responded “To be honest, I’m not looking forward to taking care of you after the surgery”.

She started melting down, telling me I should have told her earlier if I wasn’t willing to support her recovery. I clarified that I loved her and would take care of her, but I just wasn’t looking forward to it since the surgery was elective and avoidable. This did not placate her and she only got more angry/sad. I apologized profusely after realizing how upset she was, but it was kind of half-hearted because I still thought I was right.

Fast forward to the present: the surgery went well, I supported my wife as she was recovering, and life is back to normal. However, my wife still thinks I was the asshole for not being more emotionally supportive of her on surgery day. I think I’m probably the asshole but wanted to post to be sure. So, Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: YTA here. It’s okay to feel not enthused about the situation but you gain nothing voicing it to your spouse who is already anxious. ######


Prompt:
My 8yo is all boy. We were at Target buying some new clothes because he's growing and I let him decide what he wanted. He came back with nothing noticeable pair of girl shorts. The ones that are inches higher than boy shorts. I thought it was a mistake but he picked it out. The shorts were grey and neutral and not pink and frilly. He said it looked comfortable. I told him no, those were girl shorts and to put it back.

I related this story to some people and some said I was wrong. I'm his dad and my son will not wear girl clothes.

And no, he is not anything but a boy. He wasn't intentionally trying to find girl clothes.

Edit: He was disappointed. He didn't care because the colors were neutral. He's very picky about wearing certain clothes. For example he loved cardigans but will not wear a jacket. ######

Response: YTA He's 8. He doesn't care about gendered stuff. He saw comfy shorts and you denied him comfy shorts. What does it matter what part of the store he got them from? It's not like he's the first boy in history to wear something labeled for the other gender. ######


Prompt:
I (18M) was in a pub in Paris France last weekend, and was having a good conversation with a girl I'd just met.

The bartender came around and said that they'd be closing in 10 minutes, but I didn't want to leave, so I thought to myself that if I ordered two pints for myself, he couldn't kick me out as I had still had drinks. So I order my beers, the bartender says You heard me say we're closing right ? I say yeah and he shrugs.

10 minutes later he comes and asks us to leave. I tell him I still have drinks, and he gives me a plastic cup.

I tell him no way, I'm a paying customer, I want to finish my drinks. He says in broken english "Either you take your beer to take away or I throw it away but in any case you're leaving."

I told him no way I am a customer and I will stay and finish my drink.

He then fucking knocked the glass out of my hand and fucking put his face super close to mine and told me in a super threatening way to leave. I didn't want to cause a scene in front of the girl so I did, but I left a very bad review on google. My roomate who is a bartender says I was a dick, but the way I see it he served me and therefore has to wait for me to be ready to leave I am a paying customer. ######

Response: YTA Gross. The correct response when the bartender says “we’re closing” is to pay your tab and leave. You acted like a rude, entitled little boy. You might as well have said “ I don’t see you as a human being.” ######


Prompt:
A few months ago, my 24 year old daughter was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. She has been taking prednisone to help with the inflammation so that she can keep foods down. Prednisone is not to be taken long-term, so her doctor wants her to start on a biologic drug called Humira. I am very much against this, because these drugs are strong immune system suppressants that also have the potential to cause cancer... Nasty stuff.

For years and years I've done research on natural remedies and supplements that are good for the body.. I raised my kids on them and I believe that with a strict diet and consistently taking dietary supplements, my daughter's inflammation will go down and she wont NEED to take the crappy medicine her doctor recommends. But my daughter wants to take the biologic medicine.. instead of putting in the hard work to achieve a healthy anti-inflammatory diet. She won't listen to me no matter what I tell her about the medicine and what these supplements will do for her..

Initially I said that I would not help pay for this medicine (it's expensive). She said that she would "find a way" to afford it herself.. She works part-time at Target. She still planned on getting the medicine so I told her that if she decided to go the biologic route, her stepfather will be taking her off of our insurance. I told her this out of desperation, because I really do not want her on this stuff. She started crying over the phone, which wasn't what I intended. Of course I love my daughter and I don't want to make her cry, but I feel like this is the best thing to do for her. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA Get off facebook mom groups.

>I raised my kids on them and I believe that with a strict diet and consistently taking dietary supplements,

If your diet work why does she have crohns..?

>I've done research on natural remedies

You know what they call natural remedies that work? Medicine. They call them medicine. ######


Prompt:
I have never done this before, so apologies for any issues.

My son (14) drink ALOT of water. If we don't regulate it, he will drink 3,4, or 5 bottles of water a day. He just says he is really thirsty.

The problem is tap water in our area is terrible so he can't drink that, but buying so many water bottles is inanely expensive. We spend hundreds of dollars a month on water.

We took him to the doctor a couple years ago to see if there was an issue, hes fine. He just drinks alot of water.

Me and my husband are kinda tired of this, so last week we sat our son down and made a new rule. He can have 2 water bottles a day, which is still enough to not be thirsty. To enforce this rule, every bottle he drinks past the limit is one day of grounding.

We got some push back at first but it wasn't a problem until yesterday, where he drank 5 bottles of water in just 24 hours. We followed the rules and grounded him for 3 days. He was really mad and said its totally unfair, but we reminded him those were the rules.

I talked to my sister about this and she said it was crazy. So I decided to post it here. ######

Response: YTA get a water purifier. You can get pitchers for pretty cheap. Your son is drinking water and you are wanting to ground him. He’s not drinking sugary soda or booze, it’s water. ######


Prompt:
My ex and I have three boys. The middle is 9 and has been dying to go to sleep away camp with his friends (you have to be 9). That shit cost an arm and a leg for three weeks. I paid most of it and two of the weeks came out my custody time.

A few days into camp, he calls me up crying to pick him up. He is home sick and is worried something will happen to our dog or he hates the food or he doesn't want to shower with other kids or he's bored. I told him too bad. I even told the staff not contact my ex if he asks. If he gets pulled out then I do not get a refund and this is the same boy who begged me to send him there. ######

Response:
 YTA for your reasons, you’re not the asshole for not picking him up though.

This is a chance for him to have a good time and he’s outside of his comfort zone. So homesickness is normal. He’s 9. And honestly, at 9, kids need to know that their parents will be there for them whenever they need them. That’s how it works.

Had your reasoning been “I don’t want him to miss out on this”, you woulda been fine. I would offered advice about telling him you guys can FaceTime for 30 minutes a day, and he can see the dog. Or you could offer to send snacks that he likes. Little things that make him feel more comfortable.

What you did though, was decide to begrudge a 9 year old for his feeling homesick, deny him contact with his other parent, and make it all about the money you paid. ######


Prompt:
I'm getting married next month. 6 months ago, I decided on a bridesmaids dress from amazon. I told each person individually what they were to get. It was cheap. Everyone ordered it and recieved their packages a while ago.

Except one girl, however. She decided to order it 4 months ago rather than 6. I know she was losing weight or focusing on losing weight, so she wanted to wait or something? Anyways, I didn't know that at the time. She messaged me two weeks ago saying she didnt know what to do because the seller from amazon refused to ship her packages. They apparently told her that it was shipped and on its way to arrive in late august four months ago, but when it didn't arrive she messaged them. They apologized and told her they couldn't ship and forgot to tell her. She sent the proof that this had happened.

But I didn't care. The rest of my bridesmaids ordered when I had told them what the dress was and recieved their packages. I'm already stressed out and to me, no excuses can even be made for her. She said she found another place that would ship, but I told her I didn't want someone so careless in my wedding. She should have ordered when she was supposed to, and I'm so angry at the fact she would add onto my stress.

AITA for kicking her out of my wedding? ######

Response: Yta for your attitude about it. There was no point her ordering the dress at the same time when everyone else did as she was losing weight and it might not have fit. She didn't leave it last minute she ordered it 4 months ago. There is no reason to be so uptight about this because despite it being ~YoUr DaY~ the whole world doesn't revolve around you. You're probably doing her a favour by removing her if you care more about the dress issue than having her in your party. ######


Prompt: I turned 18 and my parents want me to vote for the person they are voting for. I told I was going to vote for the person I wanted because I am 18 and can do what I want now. They told me that as long as I lived in "their" house I had to do everything they said including who to vote for or move out on my own. I told them that was against the law and they told me to call the cops and I did. I told them that they threatened me and didn't make me feel safe in my own home. They said they will be there in like 40 mins cuz they're busy. and no my parents dont know I called them. ######

Response: YTA for wasting the police's time. Your parents telling you who to vote for is not something they can or will do anything about. ######


Prompt: My son has long hair. Never been for a cut nor trim till today. When it's looked after, he looks great and everyone comments on it. When it isn't, he looks terrible and... well everyone comments on it. I actually love his hair and wish things were different but he's just not into taking care of it anymore. But still wants it. He just looks like ridiculously scruffy and people always look at my wife and I when they see him so I told him he'd have to clean up or else it's gone. This was a couple months ago and he was improving until a couple weeks ago when he just returned to how he was. So I got a razor, told him to sit down and shaved it off. The hair was in bloody knots and took an hour and half to get done. Anyways now he's throwing a tantrum about me cutting it off and called his mother who also bit me off for making the call without her. Aita? ######

Response:
 YTA for violating your son's bodily autonomy, and taking away something that was important to his self expression and identity. If he isn't caring for his hair, a better approach would have been to take him to see a stylist who could give him some pointers, or to purchase some new hair products for him and show him some men's hair styling tutorials on YouTube. You have broken trust with him, and I would highly suggest that you apologize and try to make amends. Also, a young teen looking unkempt is not the end of the world. A lot of 14 year olds are  not overly concerned with personal grooming, but that tends to naturally change as they get older.

ETA: Also, a sudden change in personal hygeine/grooming habits can sometimes be an indicator of mental health difficulties, so it's worth having a conversation with him about why he was struggling to keep his hair maintained. He could be letting his hygeine slip because he is feeling depressed or overwhelmed at the moment. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I recently had a baby so tensions are high and it’s a very emotional time for everyone. She isn’t alright with my mom babysitting because of some emotional instability and she’s probably right about that. I know my mom can’t babysit and I’m alright with it but yesterday she said she doesn’t want the baby around my parents very much. I said that i think she is being unfair because her parents have some issues of their own.

She then dropped a bombshell that she thinks there is something wrong with my dad, and the only thing she could think of that he did wrong was love my mom. She literally said that she thinks there is something mentally wrong with a man who has a wife who acts like a child and constantly needs to be comforted and cared for like a child. I get that my mom is a lot and my dad is kind of an asshole who seems to enjoy her instability but my wife tried to make it sound so sick. I called her stupid and she cried and is still hardly talking to me. My mom probably has some sort of mental illness and I think it’s fucked is that my wife doesn’t think she deserves someone to love her. ######

Response:
 YTA for twisting your wife's words. Because this

> She literally said that she thinks there is something mentally wrong with a man who has a wife who acts like a child and constantly needs to be comforted and cared for like a child.

is not the same as

> I think it’s fucked is that my wife doesn’t think she deserves someone to love her. ######


Prompt:
The title, it just seems weird to pretend like it’s no big deal to invite an unpredictable softball team worth of people who openly disrespect the bride.

We can easily do a courthouse micro wedding that will make our parents happy, have a nice meal and take a beautiful Bubble-Vacation.

I want the marriage, I don’t want to pay over $10k for people who do cocaine in my car, sext my fiancé, trash talk me, and have a history of excluding me, to enjoy an open bar, buffet, and midnight poutine.

They vary in age from older to younger than me. Just sort of trashy people who never grew up, love the cocaine, and bond over beer-League softball. They do NOT appreciate non addicts/enablers.

He thinks IATA for not just letting it go for the sake of the day and softball. I say my wedding is not some whit trash field of dreams. ######

Response: YTA for trying to marry someone whose friends abuse you this way. What the hell are you doing to yourself? You're driving right into a fire and you can't even tell! ######


Prompt:
Hello all! I am using my son's Reddit account after he told me about this group. Please don't "like(?)", as I don't want my son to see this.

So my son got a physical today, and he's in the 27th percentile in terms of weight. I was disappointed, to say the least. I and my wife are fit, why can't he be?  He's 14 by the way. He's a picky eater, so he eats whatever he likes. When we went home in the car, and I'm not proud of this, but I berated him. He softly said "okay." and didn't argue. I just did it out of love. Now my wife's asleep, but she said that my son told her and called me an asshole.

AITA? And if I am, how do I make things right? ######

Response: YTA for trolling ######


Prompt:
So I'm not going, no matter what you guys say. I'm just curious if it makes me an asshole or not.

With my first wife, I was the excited Dad who couldn't wait to have kids. Even to the point where I wanted to catch the baby. Big mistake. Seeing my baby come out of her traumatized me so much that I couldn't have sex with her ever again with remembering so I had to divorce my her. And I send her money but I rarely go to see her or my daughter because I can't look at them the same.

I don't want that to happen with this wife and soon to be child.

I told her about this all up front, and she got me into several years of therapy preparing for me this, and I thought I was ready - I really did - but as the day comes closer and closer, the memories are coming back.

My wife is 8 months pregnant and the baby can come anyday. She wants me to be there so bad, and I feel bad for her, I really wish I could be there for her, but yeah...no. I'm not going. I'll see her after she's done and when the baby is all cleaned up. Otherwise it's just going to be the same situation that happened with my first wife and child. ######

Response: YTA for trolling ######


Prompt:
My gf says I'm an asshole since I complained about a restaurant online and in person for this. We went to a restaurant and everyone there was mexican and we were the only black people there. We tried to order our food and nobody there spoke English. I speak really bad spanish but I tried. This fucking pissed mr off, you shouldn't be allowed to run a business in america if nobody in the business speaks english, I lived in Latvia and over there you need to speak Latvian in order to work, which I did.

Anyways they mess our order up and give us shit we didnt order or even mention yet demanded we pay for it. We refused and only paid for the shit we order. I don't handle spicy food and I told them not to add spicy sauce or peppers yet they did.

I left a bunch of bad reviews online and I told then this is the worst restaurants rxpierence I've had. My gf says I'm an asshole but I dont think so. ######

Response:
 YTA for trashing reviews and for being ignorant about languages in your country.

Did you have a menu in English? Do you have the ability to read said English?  Do you have all or some of your digits?

Good. Now next time you don’t speak a language and want to order their food at a restaurant, take the menu, point to the freaking word “taco” and give 2 fingers up.

You can communicate non verbally.

Or use google translate.

*Pendejo* ######


Prompt:
So my husband and I have been together for 4 years and married for 2. He has a 12 year old daughter who lives in another state with her mom.

Recently her mom lost her job and they got evicted from their apartment. Stepdaughter now wants to come stay with us like she normally does every summer. However this time she wants her mom to stay with us too because she’s lost her job and has no place to live.

My husband thinks it could work but I’m 100% against it. For one thing I bought this house before I got married and I don’t want my husband’s ex sleeping in one of my guest bedrooms. Simple right? Stepdaughter is upset that I’ve laid down the law and accused me of trying to keep her and her mom apart. I told her she doesn’t have to stay with us this summer, but my rules are final.

So now she and her mom are staying with another relative one state over. My husband now wants to stay near them over the next few weeks as a result because he won’t see stepdaughter rest of this year otherwise. I told him if he’s actually thinking of living with his ex then he can move out permanently. And I’ll be filing for divorce right after.

I have some friends/family who thinks I’m being too harsh over this. But I don’t see why I should be ok with my husband’s ex living with us for any period of time. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA for this:

>It’s a goddamn pandemic and if he thinks he should be with his ex  instead of his wife then he’s made his choice and I’ll have made mine.

He doesn't want to go live with his ex. He wants to *see his daughter.* Do you really not comprehend that?

You're within your rights to not want the ex-wife living with you. But you're TA for pressuring your husband to not see his kid at *all.* Why would you do that to someone you love? ######


Prompt:
Today, while walking home from work, I decided to stop by the blackberry patch that grew next to the sidewalk on the way to the apartment building I live in to pick some blackberries. I was wearing a long skirt that covered most of my legs, a tank top, and my hair was in a bun, making me look a bit like I used a time machine from the 1960's to travel to our current year.

While I was picking the berries, two women in their 20's walked past me. Both of them were wearing t-shirts that revealed their stomachs, very short shorts and lots of makeup. One of them looked at me with contempt, and said something along the lines of "How can someone wear a skirt like THAT? She looks like an old hag in it!" to her friend, loud enough for me to hear, to which, without much thinking (I went through enough bullying in my life and I don't want to tolerate a single bit of it anymore), I replied that "I'd rather look like a granny than a prostitute that just came back from the highway" (in my country, many prostitutes wait for clients along major roads). The woman muttered something along the lines of "Ok, Grandma, I hope a dog peed on those blackberries you're picking" and walked away.

About an hour later, I came back to my flat and told two of my flatmates this story. One of them congratulated me for coming up with such a response so quickly, however, the other one told me that I overreacted, was rude and shouldn't have \[insert an offensive slur describing a promiscuous woman\]-shamed the girl that commented on my dress. Did I truly overreact and AITA in this situation? ######

Response: YTA for this fake af story. Troll. ######


Prompt:
My 49-y-o cousin put my 90-y-o aunt up to informing our family that his 23-y-o daughter died from a drug overdose.

Of course, I sent my cousin my unconditional condolences right away without asking any questions.

Then I looked at his FB page.

“John” posted that prior to his daughter’s death, he spent 13 hours in the ER for likely taking the same drug that killed his daughter.  He described it as a grey pill and warned others about it.

Someone commented that this pill was laced with fentanyl.  None of “John’s” FB friends asked “John” any questions.

But I did.  I texted “John” letting him know that I read his FB post.  “John” wrote back to ask me not to tell other family members.  Perplexed, I said that it’s already public and posted on FB.

Then I asked “John” what is the connection between the drug that put him in the ER and the drug he believed killed his daughter.  I asked if they were using together.

John responded, “How dare you accuse me of being responsible for her death.”

I said I wasn’t accusing him of anything; I want to know what happened.

He told me to “shut the fuck up.”

I replied that he should think of his dead mother, grandmother, and now daughter every time he abuses another street drug.

“John” unfriended me on FB and I no longer hear from him.

Only “John” knows what really happened.  John will have to live with himself whether or not he chooses to explain what happened to anyone.

If I am now ex’d out for asking, then I consider myself in good company with the daughter who is no longer with us. ######

Response: YTA for thinking you were owed anything. The man just lost his daughter. It was incredibly insensitive of you to demand answers right then and there. He's grieving. You're also the AH for arguing with everyone in the comments. What's the point of posting here if you're not willing to accept the judgements? ######


Prompt:
I BARELY ever get to see my daughter (14) and bout a month ago her mom finally started letting her come to my house on the weekends. I had an extra room and so i just put a bed in there and a dresser and im letting her decorate the rest. Me and my daughter have gotten into a few arguments about me "slut shaming" her, being to strict with her, etc. Usually her mom and I would talk it out. This time BOTH her moms (her momma is a lesbian) are mad at me which is ridiculous honestly. Like i said with the decorating room thing, im letting her pick out what she wants. Im Christian and her moms are Traditional Natives so they into spiritual stuff which i wouldnt have a problem with until she started forcing her beliefs into my home.

The first thing she put in her room that was kinda weird was some crystals and rocks. Alright i aint really got a problem with that if she thinks theyre pretty then theyre pretty. Then she brought white sage so in case there is "bad spirits she can clear them out". I didnt really like this but like I said she just doing her own little thing fine by me. I spoke to her mom and she kind of told me what she meant. (In the bible it says to rely on God for things like demons so thats why I didn't really want the sage in my house)

Then she put a dream catcher in her room. I talked to her about it and she said it gets rid of bad dreams and I guess at her house she got them everywhere. So it didnt bug me until she put a dream catcher in the living room. I told her I do not want that in the living room because to me its witchcraft and she started saying how im being rude and disrespecting her beliefs and all this stuff blah blah blah. She started crying after our argument and then called her mom and so now I cant see my own daughter this weekend.

Did I really disrespect her beliefs or is she tripping??? ######

Response: YTA for thinking a dreamcatcher is witchcraft. Holy hell man. Are you the person who thinks rock music is witchcraft too? ######


Prompt:
I don’t even know where to start with this

I (f21) have recently been invited along with my mum and brother to a “secluded cottage getaway” by my mums brother, my uncle. My uncle, Graham, has a wife who to put it nicely is a nut job and two children who I adore.

My uncle put this cottage possibly in the worst way possible. It’s in the middle of the Welsh countryside (no main roads for over 3 miles), has one bedroom with one bed for 7 people to share and no working toilet. There’s a outhouse in the garden with a bucket, and that’s it. He wants us to spend the entirety of August at the cottage with them. When my family and I read the email we were in hysterics as it is the last thing we would possibly ever want to do. My mum put me in charge of responding as I’m closer to them.

I replied basically saying that as tempting as it sounds, I would have to pass on this occasion as it sounds horrendous. I asked if I’d be able to come down and visit at some point before university starts up again as I’m going into my fourth year of medicine and don’t have time during the year when my family are planning on going.

I later got a reply from my uncle saying that he didn’t appreciate my passive aggressive tone and that the children were getting irritated by my lack of effort to see them, which isn’t the case. I see them every break I have. I replied saying it was extremely unfair to put all the blame on me considering it’s me who always has to travel. They haven’t ventured up to where we live for 9 years yet I make several trips to theirs every year. He ended up calling me and we got into an argument.

When I told my mum about the situation I was expecting her to be on my side but she said I was extremely rude and disrespectful. She called my uncle and apologised but he refused to accept it. AITA? ######

Response: YTA for the way you declined.  A simple “Unfortunately, we have mad other plans for the month of August” would have sufficed.  You insulted his happy place, his vacation home, and he has every right to be pissed. ######


Prompt:
My late wife passed away three years ago, I been married with my current wife for 6 months now.
My son (15) disrespects my wife and would always hurt her with his words.

I tried to get him to get used to his new life but he always says he can't wait to leave.

My son has always wanted to go to college, he's aiming to go study at his favorite which is out of the state.
He wants to be a doctor it's his dream, his mom passed away from cancer and he said he wanted to be a doctor, do researches to help people with this type of diesease, I thought that this shows the good side of him and how emapathatic he can be, I just don t get why he doesn't get along with his stepmom, she's always nice to him, her feelings were hurt when he yelled at her for cleaning up his room this morning.

I told him that if he doesn't start treating my wife with respect then I won't save up any money for his college and will just send him to a tuition-free community college.

He got mad at me, told me I was trying to buy him with my money, and that I was being a horrible daf, he brought up his friends and how lucky they were to have good dads, I cut the conversation and told him to go to his room, he started crying and said that I care about what my wife wants more than him.

I was just trying to give him consequences for his behavior but it just got worse, he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. ######

Response:
 YTA for the way you are approaching the situation.

You are trying to use money to control your son.

His behaviour might not be ideal but put yourself in his shoes. New woman ensconced in the place of his mother, she's in his private space (he didn't ask her to clean his room - that could be considered invasion of privacy in his eyes).

You say she is always lovely to him - you can only testify to when you are watching. Have you asked him if anything has happened or been said between them when you weren't around?

Have you sat him down and promised him he is your priority? Have you assured him you have no intent to replace his mom, that he can keep his distance from stepmom and as long as he is civil, he doesn't need to see her as a mother figure. Have you made arrangements for a weekly "boys night" to have one on one time together?

There are so many things you could be doing to ease your son into this new life you have created around him. Threatening him with withdrawal of your support is the worst possible way of dealing with this. It's not just financial, you're also threatening his emotional support and overall wellbeing. He has lost his mom, and he may feel he is losing you now too.

I'd say it's worth sitting your son down to ask why he doesn't like your wife. Strike a deal that he will be civil and courteous to her. That's all. He doesn't need to engage with her, entertain her, spend time with her or obey her (she's not his parent, you are, and parenting decisions should rest with you - this might not apply for every family, but from what you describe it might be fitting).

The fact that your son called you out for prioritising your wife over him speaks volumes. You need to get to the bottom of why he feels that way. If needs be, engage a professional. ######


Prompt:
My wife (38F) recently decided that she would like to lose some weight.  I (38M) think she is beautiful regardless of weight but if she wants to lose weight that's fine too.  We could definitely both stand to have better eating habits.

Yesterday she informed me of this plan and asked if I would be "supportive."  I told her I'd be happy to support her, and asked for clarification of what that meant.  She was very hesitant to clarify, only continuing to emphasize that she'd like me to be "supportive."  Now, I know what this means.  I do most of the cooking around here and I'm sure it would not be helpful for her weight loss regimen if I continued to cook my usual specialties, which are not exactly diet-friendly.  But she just wouldn't say it - I'm assuming she thought I might pout about it.  And you know, that's probably fair because I don't love the idea of cutting down on my red meat intake, but I can be mature enough to admit it's a good idea.  So I'd be happy to change up my cooking if she'd just ask.  But she didn't!

So, after she went to bed last night, I wrote what I thought was a fun and silly little four-chord song about how she's going to eat a lot of salad and lose a bunch of weight and it's going to be great!  I thought it was extremely supportive.  But she got pretty annoyed and accused me of being "cringe" which is, for the record, not an adjective, and now she's been a little mad at me all day.

I know doing the song was probably dumb, but I just wanted her to come out and say what she means  when she says she wants me to be supportive.  AITA? ######

Response: YTA for the song and basically mocking your wife. I’m curious as to why you didn’t choose to just voice what you thought you could do to be supportive instead of turning it into a game. Support your wife ######


Prompt:
My roommate is allergic to avocado. As far as I am aware, it is not an anaphylactic allergy and they do not carry and epi pen.

They have asked in the past for myself and our other roommate to be conscious of their allergy, which 95% of the time we are.

Today they pulled me up for leaving traces of avo on a chopping board, post cutting one for breakfast. I had left the chopping board out because it wasn’t that dirty and would likely have been used again throughout the day.

There are 2 other chopping boards in the house that were both clean that my roommate could have used and I feel that it’s not my job to monitor their allergy. I’m careful most of the time to not leave avocado where they could come into contact with it but couldn’t help but roll my eyes for being called up on it.

So reddit, aita for not monitoring my roommates non lethal allergy 100% of the time? ######

Response:
 YTA for the snark at the end, and throughout, tbh.

If you had washed the board, put it in the sink, or even sent a text “hey I used the red cutting board to slice avocado and didn’t get a chance to wash it yet!” then you would be in the clear.

They’re not asking you to monitor their allergy, they’re asking you to be considerate and let them know when you have created a scenario in which they could come into contact with their allergy. ######


Prompt:
I'll just try to keep this short. I have these two friends and they are a couple. They're literally obsessed with each other and spend every waking hour together. The problem is in the fact that they look very similar to each other — creepily similar. Essentially, if you saw them out on the street, you'd assume they were twins. Most of the people at our school actually thought the same thing for a while.

We hang out together often and they've recently picked up this weird habit of always wearing matching outfits when we're out. There would be nothing wrong with that if, as I mentioned before, they didn't look almost completely identical. They're very "open" about their relationship in public and always kiss, hug each other, etc.

You can probably tell that they get some weird looks from nosy people out on the street who probably assume they're siblings. They whisper, take pictures, laugh, etc. This makes me kind of embarrassed to be out with them because, y'know, it's an embarrassing situation to be put in, so I told them that if they really want for us to hang out in public they should just stop making it easier for people to think that something weird is going on.

They told me I was being an asshole and that this showed that I don't really care about them and care more about some "random strangers" taking pictures. I think that my point is pretty valid. AITA? ######

Response: YTA for the reasons they stated. Who cares what random strangers think? If they're really your friends, support them. ######


Prompt:
I am 33 years old and my nephew just passed his written drivers test  and now has his permit. Unfortunately my brother and his wife work a lot of hours and don't have much time to help him, so my brother offered to pay me to teach him.

I gladly accepted and my nephew is an awful driver, and I don't mean in the sense that he gets nervous sometimes and hits the brakes too quickly, I mean he can be full on reckless. He will go 90 mph on the highway, he almost hit a guardrail once when trying to merge, and he doesn't even listen to my advice.

I always have to keep telling him to put his turn signals on but he actually argues back with me and says he doesn't need to if there are no cars nearby. I really feel like I have no control so I refused to teach him any more.

Now understandably my brother is mad because he did pay me upfront. I told him that his son drives like an Asian. My brother basically said I am the teacher and I am being paid to give him practice regardless if he is doing bad or not, but I basically retorted that it be one thing if he was a bad driver but tried to learn and do his best, however I am getting no where with him and that's not my fault ######

Response: YTA for the racist comment alone. ######


Prompt: Me (25M) and my (27F)girlfriend got into a heated debate about my (24F) roomate. Its not what it sounds like, my gf and roomate are very good friends. Ok, so my roomate is very filthy and I find myself doing most of the cleaning around our home. Even my girlfriend cleans up after her. My roomate will cook and leave everything out, even the food expecting I will clean it. My girlfriend also brought to my attention that my roomate expects me to do things, like feed her dog. My roomate will start watching tv on the couch, and then call me to fetch her a soda. I also have to drive my roomate to work, and I do shop for her. I find myself so frustrated and I do complain to my gf. Anyways, so my girlfriend asked me to come over and eat but my roomate and an old friend were doing LSD, I felt like I should stay and watch out for my roomate. My gf was livid, because she thinks 1. I am a pushover she said that my roomate would never do that for me (kinda true) and then she said I had to be lying, because my roomate wont even smoke or drink with us, but suddenly does LSD? She also just thought it was stupid for me to "babysit" an adult who chose to do that. I just feel like my roomate is very naive, and will hurt herself or her dog will get out while shes high. My girlfriend said it wasnt about not coming for dinner, it was about constantly enabling my roomate. Could she be jealous? ######

Response:
 YTA for the pattern of behavior, not for this particular instance. To her credit, your girlfriend seems to realize this.
>My girlfriend said it wasnt about not coming for dinner, it was about constantly enabling my roomate.

The GF is exactly right. Your roommate probably *did* need a babysitter for this activity, but she also knew all she had to do was ask and you’d drop everything for her. A respectful roommate would ...well, do a lot of things differently, but at the *least* they would arrange for the caretaker in advance and not drop it on you at the last moment and disrupt your plans. ######


Prompt:
My family and I belong to a small gym with a 6 lane, pool often times since it is shallow there is no lifeguard on duty and when there are most of them are chill. So my wife and 3 kids, 5m, 11f, and 9m all went to the pool, half of the pool was closed due to a class and the  lane on our left was being used by a guy swimming lap, and the one on our right was being used for a swim lesson,  so my family and I had 1 lane to use, there was also an outdoor pool open that no one was using because it was chilly out.

Well I brought 2 balls to play catch with since it isnt against  rules. My oldest 2 kids occasionally got it in the other lanes and even by where the class was happening but no complaints, I even made sure to ask the lady teaching the lesson, the guy working out and the lady in the class the ball almost hit if they where ok with us playing catch and they said sure. So I dont think I was doing anything wrong. Well the lifeguard approached my 2 oldest and asked if they could do short passes and keep the ball n the lane, I overheard and told my kids they dont have to since others arnt bothered by it so they didnt. Well she approached us again after my son almost accidentally hit someone with the ball lightly. I told her they said it was ok and she said that she some people say that and then complain later and not everyone who comes in is ok with that. I kinda went off on her a little bit telling her to get her manger and theyll take my side and that she was being an overeactive  bully, Ill admit I said it rather sternly, but I wasnt  bothering anyone and was following the rules. I later saw her mangers yelling at her and she looked like she's been crying. I feel bad even though I think she needed to learn her lesson.

&#x200B;

TLDR: I yelled at a lifeguard for telling me to stop doing things that are not against the rule. ######

Response: YTA for telling your kids not to follow rules.... Dude, I can't believe you went to her manager over this ######


Prompt:
My friend is deciding between two offices of the same company. One is in San Fransisco, and the other is in New York.

Instead of considering factors such as career progression, cost of living, social scene, etc.... he literally said he’s choosing the New York office simply because they have a much more traditional business professional dress code compared to the San Fransisco office which it’s common to wear jeans at.

I told him he’s being idiotic for choosing for solely that reason, and now he’s all angry at me.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA for telling him he is idiotic. He obviously doesn’t have a preference for one city over the other. The other things you list are obviously important to you, that doesn’t mean he has to prioritise the same things. Dress is a good indication of the work culture so maybe that is important to him. ######


Prompt:
Many months ago, I promised my son that I am going to buy him a laptop because he wanted one really badly. However, after seeing his terrible school marks I decided that the laptop will cause nothing but distraction so I ended up not keeping my promise. My son was devastated obviously but he moved on after some weeks.

&#x200B;

Everything was great until yesterday my daughter decided to bring up the discussion about the laptop again. She told my son that she saved enough money for it and is planning to buy him one today. I was surprised that my daughter managed to save up this much but also mad because I made it clear that he isn't allowed with a laptop. I told her she is not allowed to buy one but then she told me that she's doing it with "her" money. Let me be clear, that money is in NO WAY hers. The cash she has was given from me or my husband whenever she wanted to go out (and I guess she saved most of it) and money she got from her relatives during her birthday. Things escalated quickly and I ended up having to make my daughter give me back the money I and her dad gave her (she could keep the other part).

&#x200B;

My husband is upset and doesn't agree with what I did and I'll admit I overreacted by asking her to give me my money back (I'll consider giving it back to her in a few days) but I still made it clear that my son isn't allowed to have a laptop yet. AITA here? ######

Response:
 YTA for taking your daughters money.

A better solution would have been to say well it's your money, so you can buy a laptop and you are a very sweet girl for wanting to help your brother.

But if you do, as his parents we will have to say that he still won't be allowed to use it until he can show us he is responsible and works hard to bring up his grades. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé (29M) and I (28F) have been together for five years, engaged for one. About a year into our relationship, we were on a date and he brought up the “celebrity hall pass” question. He picked someone he’ll likely never meet, I picked the lead singer of a locally popular band whose music has been a huge part of my life.

I never expected it to happen but in January, my friend got me backstage pass to the band and I mentioned to the lead singer that he was my celebrity hall pass. I guess he found it charming because he got my number, invited me back to his hotel, and we slept together.

I told my husband first thing when I got home. He didn’t say anything at the time, but did seem pretty upset. Ever since then though, he’s been making snide comments about my “infidelity”. I didn’t think he was that seriously bothered until we had to finally pull the plug on our fall wedding because of COVID. He said he was actually glad we were pushing out the wedding because it can give him time to think if it’s worth marrying an unfaithful woman.

He admits that he remembers this conversation and he was the one who brought it up. But he says that because it was so early in our relationship, the rules changed when we got engaged and I should’ve asked him first. It seems clear he would’ve said no if I asked. AITA??? ######

Response:
 YTA for sure
Those conversations are generally meant as a joke, and the chances of you meeting the local band singer are high.  That isn't even a celebrity, that's just wanting a free pass to sleep with someone.  You happily slept with someone and cheated on your fiancee.  How would you expect him not to be upset? ######


Prompt:
I (m35) have a 16 year old daughter. I’ve been a single father since she was about 3 years old as I got sole legal custody due to some addiction issues her mother has. We have a really good relationship, but I always worry about her not having a woman to talk to.

Over the past few months she hasn’t really seemed to be herself, I know she went through a bad break up but I’ve been worried it’s more than that. I’ve tried talking to her, and my sister only lives down the street so she’s tried talking to her also, but my daughter is really keeping to herself and it concerns me.

She went out to see her friends for the first time since quarantine started yesterday and asked me if I could give her room a quick tidy whilst she was gone. I agreed because she does a lot of chores but she’s not good at cleaning her room. Whilst I was putting clothes back in her closet, I stumbled upon what I now know to be her diary.

I shouldn’t have read past the first page but I just wanted to know if there was anything going on she wasn’t telling me about. There were some pretty heartbreaking stuff for a father to read about how down she felt about herself, so when she got home I brought it up to her.

She asked me why this was suddenly coming up and when I told her I’d read her diary she absolutely flipped and told me it was an absolute violation of privacy and she’s completely humiliated. I told her I was just trying to protect her and she said it was none of my business and locked herself in her bedroom and hasn’t spoken to me since. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA for sure. If you thought she didn’t trust you BEFORE you read the diary, you can be rest assured that she doesn’t trust you now.

Judgement aside, most parents want what’s best for their kids, and there are better ways to go about this. Have you thought about or talked about therapy for her? It may just be normal teenage stuff, but it might be helpful for her to have a third party observer with absolutely no interest in the matter to help her work through whatever’s going on. ######


Prompt: My sister and her partner of 8 years just got engaged. He proposed 4 weeks ago and their engagement party was last night. I am a lesbian and just realised my sexuality a few months ago. I have been seeing a girl and I am at the point where I want to show her off to everybody. Anyway, I brought my girlfriend to my sister's engagement party and everyone thought she was just my friend. During the dinner I came out as lesbian and explained to everyone my friend is actually my girlfriend. Everything seemed fine but my sister's were pissed at me. I later found out everyone thought I was a piece of Shit to come out as my sister's engagement and thought it was for attention. AITA? ######

Response: YTA for stealing the attention away from her engagement. ######