Prompt:
I (19F) got my boyfriend(20M) of 3 years a switch back in January as a gift. We're both university students so money is kinda tight, but I saved up and I was finally able to buy it for him because he'd been talking about it for about a year. It was $600 for the switch, a game and the tax, so it wasn't exactly a small gift but he was so happy so it was worth it. Fast forward eight months and he mentions that he told his friend he would lend it to him for a few days to finish a game that he had started way back while they still lived together at university. I was a little bit upset when he told me after he already told his friend because I'm just... not fond of this idea. It doesn't help that I don't exactly like or trust this specific friend. But I also just don't like the idea of him lending something that I spent months saving up for, but maybe I'm being too overprotective and controlling. Because on the other hand, I understand that I gave it to him as a gift so it's his property and he can do as he wishes with it. Furthermore, it's one of his best friends and he trusts him alot. But when I asked him if he had asked his friend if he would pay to replace it if it was damaged but he says he doesn't need to ask cause that's not gonna happen.

So Reddit, am I the asshole if I ask my boyfriend not to lend the switch I bought to his friend? He proof read this post so it's not biased; we agreed we would let Reddit decide. ######

Response: YTA. Once you give someone a gift, you no longer get to control what they do with it. I know you spent a lot of money and this bothers you but it’s his and if he wants to let his friend borrow it for a couple days, he can. ######


Prompt:
I’m just so frustrated right now.

My (28M) wife (29F) continues to try to blame the fact that I’m not attracted to her on ME factors. Maybe it’s MY work, or MY family, MY weight.

Now it is MY hormone levels.

So my wife gave birth to our twins a year ago and since then I haven’t been attracted to her.

She’s had huge stretch marks and is still about 70 pounds overweight. Her personal hygiene is also very low.

I’ve been trying to give subtle clues. Like let’s get a healthy meal subscription or let’s walk around the trails after dinner. Or I’d talk about what perfumes she would like to wear.

However today she asked if next time I went to the doctor I’d get a testosterone. I looked at her in disbelief. Then she said that there could be a medical reason for my lack of attraction and kept pushing it.

I couldn’t take it and started laughing and putting my head in my hands and shaking it.

My wife got extremely pissed and said that you didn’t have to be 60 to be erectile dysfunction.

I finally snapped and said that I DID get hard in the right circumstances ( and it’s true- every time I go back to the college campus where I do research, I have felt intense attraction for a lot of the women there.)

Now she’s saying I’ve devastated her beyond belief and that her body will never be the same.

AITA? I can’t help how disgusted I am about stretch marks and I can’t help that my previously dead sense of attraction goes all the way to 100 when I see women where I work and I hate my wife for denying that I’m not the problem at all. ######

Response: YTA. Oh, buddy. This not going to go well for you. ######


Prompt:
Well, that’s basically it. My wife was serious about applying to a part-time receptionist job at my company that would pay about half of what she makes now. Considering that we have three children, it would be difficult, not impossible, to continue the humble lifestyle we have (we’re not rich by any means) but we make ends meet to be comfortable. I lied and told her that I talked to the HR director and he said a candidate has been selected for the position already since it has been opened for a month already.

She wants to leave her salaried job because she doesn’t like the women at her company, but she told me that she had outstanding evaluations and she is doing just fine when it comes to fulfilling her role there. She just feels unhappy with the “toxic” people. But there is a pandemic right now and I think it would be illogical to leave a good paying job when so many people have been laid-off or are unemployed.

I just wish maybe I could have been more honest and maybe helped her apply and negotiate for higher pay in the open position at my company. But I don’t know if I have that kind of foothold yet. Considering that role though, she’s way overqualified, so I don’t know if they would have brought her in or not regardless.

Thanks for listening and reading. ######

Response: YTA. Of course you're an asshole for lying to your wife. You need to actually listen to what she's telling you about her unhappiness in her job, communicate your concerns, and make a plan to together. What you did was sneaky and infantilizing. Tell her what you did and apologize ASAP. ######


Prompt:
A few days ago she said she need a text book for school. I’ve been buying her textbooks since freshmen year but since she has a job now, I make her pay a lot of  her own things now that aren’t a necessity. The textbook that she needed was $100 on top of some literature books that were about $25. I told her if she bought it I would loan back the money at some other time.

Few weeks into school and I thought she bought what she needed but then I get an email from her teaching saying she didn’t have the required material for the class. Turns out, she didn’t have enough money and maybe only had like $60 in the account. She didn’t mention it because she didn’t want to make me feel bad. ######

Response: YTA. Of course you are. You are responsible for making sure she has educational supplies, and a textbook is not on the list of "things that aren't a necessity." ######


Prompt:
I have had a dream wedding date my entire life. I'm finally engaged, and my fiance and I wanted to book our wedding right away. However, my dream date is the weekend before his sister's wedding.

He called his parents to tell him and they said they thought it was too close, but that he should talk to his sister; they would be okay with it if she was okay with it. He called his sister to tell her. She said she thought it was too close.

We booked it the next day because someone else was looking at the venue we wanted for the same day. She's very upset. We can't wait another year because we want to start having children. ######

Response:
 YTA. Of course the weekend before his sister's wedding is too close. Why would you think it isn't? If it's your "dream wedding date" you could have planned it for the next year but if you can't wait to start having children then plan it for another day.

You're going to have to compromise on something.

She clearly said she wasn't okay with it, never mind the fact if you're planning a honeymoon will you even be back in time for his sister's wedding? Why bother even asking if you were just going to do it anyway?

People are going to think you're doing it to upstage his sister and get married before her. ######


Prompt:
My husband is deployed overseas. While he tries to communicate with us as often as possible, sometimes his internet access is minimal.

My daughter has made it no secret that she hates school. At the end of first semester, her teachers said she would be getting held back and she said she wanted to drop out.

Before my husband left, my daughter was already modeling in NYC ( we live in suburbs just outside the city). But we would always have to work around her school schedule, and her grades would in turn suffer.

My husband would refuse to let her drop out every time she asked, and before leaving said I under no circumstance was to let her drop out without him.

However, after being home and seeing how miserable she was, complaining about how she didn’t need chemistry, I had enough. So I went to a meeting with school officials and she has officially dropped out.

Now she’s planning to move from the suburbs to an agency apartment in NYC to pursue modeling.

When my MIL found out via social media from Italy that my daughter had dropped out, she angrily messaged me, calling me a bad mom.

She then gets the message to my husband before I could contact him with my explanation and now he’s extremely furious. He sends me angry emails whenever he can and said I explicitly breached his trust.

However, he’s never here so AITA for acting like the primary parent because I practically am a single mom right now? AITA for helping my daughter pursue her passions, which don’t include a high school diploma? ######

Response:
 YTA. Of course she hated being in school. Who didn't? School sucked.

Replace modeling with twitch streaming, youtubing, etc and ask yourself if you'd be okay with this.

You have facilitated her permanently marring her future because "school sucks mom, who needs chemistry anyway"

You did breach your husband's trust, and you breached your obligation to your daughter. Modeling is *not* a sure fire career path and *when* she's no longer able to pursue it (WHEN. Not IF, WHEN.) she will be left with far less money than she thinks she'll have and a resume consisting of "I'm a dropout who got a lucky early break in modeling"

You have *no idea* the consequences of your actions. ######


Prompt:
Okay so first of all, yes my username is a joke, and no, I’m not Chinese.

Anyway, I (28M) am going to get married to my fiancée (28F) once covid is all over. Recently, I got one of those AncestryDNA/23AndMe DNA tests to find out all about my genetic ancestral history.

I’m an super curious about what my future wife’s history is so that when he have children, I know what they will be racially, so I asked my fiancée if she could do it was well. She didn’t want to. I don’t really understand why, but she doesn’t want to.

I have been pushing her to do it so that we can know about our future children’s make up, but she refused to. Am I the asshole for continuing to push for it? ######

Response: YTA. Not wanting a third party to have your genetic info is both common and smart. You also know basically what race your children will be, and it also doesn’t matter. ######


Prompt:
So my brother and I have kept a list of my parents quotes that they say to us. Everything to calling me a "massive waste of potential" to accusing me of child p\*rn because I have a vpn. The list is big and still growing. Next year I graduate HS, and unless I absolutely fail, I'm going to be either Valedictorian or Salutatorian. WIBTA if in my speech, I include their quotes? I was thinking of adding them as a "this is what people said about me, but don't let that stop you". So, Reddit, WIBTA?
Edit: I go to a very small, Christian school. Everyone knows everyone, and everyone is very religious. ######

Response: YTA. Not to your parents though, to yourself. This isn’t going to end how you think. You’re going to cause yourself unnecessary grief and unfortunately your parents won’t learn that they suck. You still rely on them in some ways, so you’d be cutting your nose off to spite your face. Be gracious. Be kind. Walk away with your class and your dignity and if they ever question why you no longer talk to them, then you can privately quote them. Don’t do it publically. ######


Prompt:
I (22f) was visiting my sister’s (24f) house this weekend and I went outside to watch my 4 year old nephews (we’ll call them Milo and Otis) play in their sandbox.

Milo started eating sand, and I told him to stop, but he didn’t and said he does it all the time. He kept doing it and I figured I should just let it go because I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. He wasn’t eating a ton. Just a few grains of it occasionally.

At one point my sister came outside to bring us lemonade, and Otis said “Aunt ___ is letting Milo eat sand.” My sister got really mad, and told me I should be more responsible. I apologized, but she’s currently ignoring me.

AITA for letting my nephew eat sand? ######

Response: YTA. not sure why you would take a 4 year old at their word that they’re allowed to eat rocks “all the time”. If you’re not familiar with kids, you could’ve checked with your sister instead of just letting it happen. ######


Prompt:
She was induced and in labor for over 24 hours. Not all of it was active labor, and I probably could have gone home and slept and showered at some point, but she didn't want me to leave in case something happened.

A few hours after she had our baby and they both were okay and not in danger, I told her I was going home to shower and nap and would be back sometime later in the day. She didn't want me to leave, but I needed to sleep and I couldn't do that in the hospital. I also needed a shower because I was starting to smell ripe due to the stress sweat. I also wanted to get a decent meal.

I left anyway and took a long nap after I got home. That plus the time it took to eat and shower ended up taking around 6 hours.

She still seems bothered by what I did, but I am a person like anyone else with physical limitations. I don't know how that makes me an asshole. ######

Response: YTA. Not only did you leave right after the birth when she didn't want you to, it sounds like you would have left *during* labor if she hadn't asked you not to. Really, dude? You also didn't check if she'd have any help caring for the baby in those six hours, when she needed rest much more than you did. Sounds like you're preparing to be the husband who just can't possibly help with night feedings because he's sooo tired. ######


Prompt:
I’m a bisexual woman. Last night, I was at my brother’s house for dinner along with our parents. I admit I have a bit of a crush on my brother’s wife. She’s easily in my ‘Top 3 prettiest women I know’ list.
During the dinner, I was casually flirting with her. Nothing over the top. She didn’t seem to mind .

After we got back, my brother sent this message asking me to stop making his wife uncomfortable. I told him that he was being dense and some casual flirting is normal. There was a point when a lot of water had spilled over SIL’s dress, and I’d casually remarked if I could help her change. My brother brought this up saying that it made SIL very uncomfortable and she couldn’t say anything then because my parents were present. I told him that it’s probably his insecurities making him overreact and not to worry cause SIL was straight. He told me they were cutting me off until I apologised and promised never to bother SIL again.

Well, I’m not apologising . SIL should’ve told me she was uncomfortable, I would’ve stopped. I think that my brother’s being over dramatic.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Not only are you flirting with a MARRIED WOMAN, it’s your BROTHER’S wife. If he approached you and said it made her uncomfortable, she probably talked to your brother about this. Please leave the poor girl alone. ######


Prompt: This is a throwaway for obvious reasons, but a couple of days ago it was my friend’s birthday and my friend came out as gay and she was accepted by her whole group except for me. Now I am not homophobic but I don’t like gay people. We had a party where I pulled her into a separate room and told her to drop the act, she said that she didn’t know what I was talking about. I said that being gay is not a lifetime thing and she was just on a phase, she told me that she was in fact gay and that I was being really weird. I told her that she was the weird one and that I hoped that god would help her move on from this phase. She ran out of the room crying and when I exited all of my friends were calling me a bitch and a couple of other mean things. I feel a bit bad, but I think I am helping her in her life. ######

Response: YTA. Not liking gay people is homophobic, and it's not a phase ######


Prompt:
I work at a call center in a cubicle and I hate it, which is why I've recently decided to go to college and get a degree. I was telling one of my co-workers about this and when he asked why I wanted to go to college, I said to him "I just want to improve my chances of getting a real job." That's when my friend got all defensive and started telling me that a call center was a real job. I corrected him and told him that call centers are just for young kids going through school and single parents who need to support their bastard kids and have no other motivation in life and that's when he stormed off.

On top of that, he apparently went around telling all of my other co-workers. One of them called me an "elitist prick" and another hoped that I ended up being a college drop-out. Everyone is against me just because I'm daring to get out of this hellhole of a call center and pursue an actual career. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. Not for wanting another job or to go to college.

But for denigrating someone else’s job, even if you do it too. The others are right by calling you elitist. That’s such a low thing to do. ######


Prompt:
My (27M) girlfriend (25 F) the other night mentioned she was thinking of getting a piercing below her lip. I pretty much just said "ok" as I am not into piercings and didn't want to encourage her to get one nor did I want to stop her as it is her choice ultimately.

She asked me what I thought about it and I decided to be honest and I said "personally I think most piercings are trashy." She got upset which didn't surprise me. We had an argument and she kept asking me how piercings are trashy. I said "sticking pieces of metal in your body isn't attractive, it's just gross and in my opinion when I see people with piercings they often are the type you see on Jerry Springer or one of those shows."

We haven't been talking since then, and this whole situation is just pissing me off, if my girlfriend wasn't prepared to hear an answer she didn't like, why even ask? ######

Response: YTA. Not for disliking piercings, but because of the way you use that dislike to generalize about people who have them. ######


Prompt: I (21M) proposed to my girlfriend(22F) last week. When i proposed to her she was overjoyed and accepted my proposal. Yesterday my girlfriend asked me how much the ring cost and where i bought it from .When i told her that it was worth 200$ ,she lost it and told me that i shouldn't have been cheap for such a moment. I told her that in case she breaks up with me the money i would have spent for an engagement ring would have gone waste. I also told her that when we renew our wows in a few years time after we get married  , i would buy her an expensive ring . She started crying and i got angry at her ungratefulness and i have and will be sleeping on the sofa until she speaks to me . AITA for buying her a cheap ring? ######

Response:
 YTA. Not for buying the cheap ring, but for your reasoning behind it. If you think diamonds are a waste of money then fine, but telling her that you don’t trust her not to dump you is pretty shitty.

Her reaction to the price is a bit assholey, but you are the bigger asshole ######


Prompt:
I (42f) have a daughter (19f). She’s a university student, but has moved home because her university closed down and turned to online classes.

English is not our first language, but it’s a compulsory part of our syllabus. My daughter was very good at it, did English as a first language, when most do English as a second language here and got perfect scores on her IELTS.

My son, on the other hand struggles a lot with English. He’s currently doing English as a second language, and he’s failing. Since she’s come home, and isn’t paying rent I asked her to tutor him for a while everyday, and make sure not to leave if he doesn’t finish his homework.

It’s been a few weeks since this arrangement, and she’s angry now. Apparently he doesn’t like to do his homework, and it takes hours to convince him to do it and there’s other things she’d rather be doing.

She says if she sits down with him at 2pm, he’ll take until 8pm to finish it because he plays with his xbox, phone and switch and slowly does the work after she begs him so she can leave. I do insist that she stays until he finishes his homework, but I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

She’s complaining that she doesn’t want to babysit her 13 year old brother for 6 hours a day until he’s ‘bothered to do his homework’. That she wants to call her friends and do her coursework as well. But if she’s going to live with me rent free for who knows how long until her university opens up she’s going to have to contribute somehow. And I think  getting my son to do his homework and tutoring him is contributing enough. ######

Response: YTA. Not for asking her to pull her weight. That is reasonable. For not lighting a fire under your son and allowing him to waste her time like that with zero consequence. ######


Prompt:
A year ago my GF moved to my country and we met soon after. We have been together for almost a year. Her dad suddenly passed away about a month ago and she flew home for a week to attend the funeral. Because she hasn't lived here long she does not have a strong support system here besides me, all her close friends/family live very far away with a big time difference. She has some friends here but especially due to the pandemic they are not close and can't really offer any support for her. She has communicated to me that I am the only person here she can rely on.

When she returned we spent most of 3 weeks together. At the end of those 3 weeks I decided to go on vacation (it was not planned before her dad passed) to visit friends which meant we were not together for 12 nights. I've been really busy with my friends and so I haven't responded to her texts/calls as quickly as she would like and haven't always had the time for phone calls, or am around other people when we call.

I've noticed when calling her lately she seems distant and sad, and when I ask whats wrong she said she feels like I abandoned her and she feels very alone. So now I am wondering if AITA for going on the trip? ######

Response: YTa. Not because you went on vacation, but because you seem to unaware of your girlfriend needing someone to lean on right now. Why not take her with you? Or at least set aside time to call her and check in? ######


Prompt:
My (26) mom’s (46) best friend (f52) was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer 6 years ago. She made it to the 15-20% survival rate. She was a beautiful person. She’s been in my life since I was 2 years old.

Even though she was on heavy doses of pain meds over the years she always randomly texted me telling me she loves me. She honestly texted me more than she texted my mom.

She was admitted to hospice roughly 2 weeks ago. I’ve been able to see her about 2 times since she was diagnosed because she was always back and forth between the hospital and her home. The trip to and from was about 5 hours. She was always exhausted and out of it. Understandably so, we kept our distance. Especially because we didn’t want to compromise her health any further with unknown illnesses we might of had.

We went to say our goodbyes on Monday. She looked like a whole different person. I won’t go too in to detail but, let’s just say I couldn’t stop crying. She looked so unhappy and as if she was mentally stuck inside a body (like being awake during a coma) that no longer served her.

Just 15 minutes ago we got the news that she had passed. I didn’t cry. I felt peace and happiness for her. When I saw her on Monday, she found the strength to wake up and even though she barely had a voice or any energy left, she told me the most beautiful things that helped me be okay with her leaving this earth.

Of course my mom is devastated. But, I told her that it was not a way to live and even though her friend was dealt the shittiest of all cards, we should be happy for her that she no longer has to live in pain, anger and sadness. My mom did not like this, she won’t even look at me. Guys AITA? I really wasn’t trying to upset her. ######

Response:
 YTA. Not because what you said is wrong, but because it’s too soon to say it.

Your mom absolutely didn’t need someone telling her how she SHOULD feel in that moment. She needed support in what she was ACTUALLY feeling. And then later, much later, you can say what you said. ######


Prompt: I really don't like my boyfriend's mom. She's very bitchy and holier than thou. She has a three year old daughter who accidentally broke my phone when she knocked it into her pool. It was an iphone7 and I paid about $700 it, so she said she would give me $1,000 to replace it. I thought that was fair. She asked me if I had venmo and I said no. She asked if I could cash a check and I said no, because I don't know how to. She asked me to download venmo but I said she doesn't get to dictate that. Finally I asked for the money in cash and that day. She called me a dumbfuck and said no one has $1,000 in cash on them, but this woman drives a BMW so I don't get what her issue is. She refused to go to the bank, so right now she is sitting on her lazy ass and I don't have my $1,000, but my boyfriend thinks I'm being ridiculous because she tried to pay. ######

Response: YTA. No one carries that much cash on them. She tried two other ways to pay you. If you had asked her to instead give you cash next time you saw them, that would be more acceptable. ######


Prompt:
Our son is 6 and his half sister 4. They barely see each other, my ex tries get them to hang out with each other all the time for they can get to know each other. I'm against it because I don't want to throw anyone new in his life while he's so Young.

My ex came to pick up his son for the weekend. I guess during this he had his daughter and planned on our son spend time together with each other. I was never told about it. Let me this clear I have no hard feelings towards the little girl because my ex has another kid with someone else.

Our son has a phone were you can really only text/call and watch Netflix and YouTube.  On Sunday i called him when he was with his father to just check up on. He said he was sister playing. I said sounds like fun and to call me later. The next day when I meet up with his father to pick him up, my ex says his goodbyes and has his daughter facetime saying goodbye also. "Your sister says bye also". This where I butt in and say "technically she isn't your real sister just half."

My ex just shakes his head and say "don't do that". Lot of questions I had to answer carefully to my son while driving home. Then when I got home I got some more angry text from my ex saying I'm trying to pin them against each other. I just don't want them to get accustomed to each other and be sad if something happens between their parents relationship. ######

Response:
 YTA. My son has a half brother through his dad. My son refers to him as his brother and never in a million years did I think to tell him “that’s not your real brother, that’s your half brother”.

It makes me wonder, if YOU were to ever have more children, will you tell your son “this isn’t your REAL sibling, this is your HALF sibling”? I think not. ######


Prompt:
I always wanted to send my children to private school if I could afford it.

When my first kid (19m) was younger I could have afforded to send him to private, but it would have taken most of mine and my wife’s income. It would’ve made it near impossible to go on fancy holidays, ever buy a new car, get good Christmas presents etc. Back then we made the choice to send him to a state school and save the money.

Recently, however, I received a promotion at work and my wife and I are sending our second son (13m) to a private school this year. We are much more financially stable now. Both of my sons will get 10 thousand dollars from me to help pay for college

When my older son found out his brother was going to a better school he wasn’t too fussed as he knew of me making more money. He recently overhead me on the phone telling my friend that we chose not to send him there due to money at the time, but could’ve afforded it. He’d always believed we couldn’t.

Now he’s pissed at me for treating him worse than his brother. He claims I’m being unfair and could’ve paid for him, but I didn’t intend so send my younger son until I started to earn more. My wife is with me but my sister and mother think I’m being unfair and I should send my younger to state to for fairness.

AITA here? ######

Response: YTA. My dad allways says his legacy to us is education because that could never be taken away from us. He is right. You have shit priorities. And shit opinions, if you think your oldest doesnt know his brother is your favorite and its being greedy... My god you are naive. BTW, I went to private school having none of my classmates luxuries and didnt bother me a bit because my parents were firm believers that money wasnt everything. To this day I appreciate having better teachers for languages or not being in an overcrowed classroom in my early years. I agree not sending the youngest one is not the answer, the idea is not repeating a mistake. Put every single month the same amount you pay for the youngest in the older one college fund. One is getting ahead with less debt and the other with quality education. Tell you youngest. Make sure he is getting the best out of a good oportunity. Have some empathy for fucks sake, one son just learned you dont think he is a priority over a months vacation abroad. Like going to a freaking family picnic could be the worst idea ever for a break... ######


Prompt:
So when my wife and I were dating we had a pregnancy scare. She told me one day that she hadn't been feeling well, that her boobs felt heavy, her nipples were a lot darker than usual, and she felt nauseated but, she didn't think she was pregnant because she had two periods very close together within like two weeks of each other and she had ended her last period about a week prior to all these symptoms. So anyways, we take a few pregnancy tests. Three come out negative and one comes out positive with a very faint line. We wait another month and take a few more and they all come back negative.

So anyway, she refused to go to the doctor because she was very anxious and emotional thinking she had lost a baby. I generally support all her decisions so I just supported her and helped her emotionally through what she thought we were going to.

So fast forward years later to today and we're married and have two kids.  She tells me the "first Baby" would have been due on this date and that he would be 10, and then proceeds to start crying. I rub her back and comfort her, but I casually mention that we don't know for sure if she miscarried and if she was every pregnant because we just got that one faint line and never got a confirmation from the doctor. She gets really upset with me and says that she's absolutely positive she was pregnant and miscarried and is now not speaking with me. so reddit, AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Most miscarriages happen in the first trimester before a woman even knows for sure that she’s pregnant. They confuse implantation bleeding for a period or hormonal spotting. Her reasoning for not going to the doctor was because she didn’t want to confirm what she felt like she already knew. Even if you didn’t think it was true you shouldn’t have verbalized it especially while trying to comfort her on the subject. ######


Prompt:
I've been teaching my daugher how to swim and she's got everything down pat, but she's just scared to go into the deep end.

So today I snuck up on her and pushed her in.

She disappeared under water for a bit, but when she came back, our lessons kicked in and she started swimming. She said, "Look, Daddy, I'm swimming!"

My wife came running out. "What was that? I heard a scream."

I told her, "Oh, I just pushed her in."

She shouted, "YOU *WHAT*?! What if she drowned?"

"Uhm, I'm standing right here... how is she going to drown?"

She said she doesn't want me to do that again, but I'm definitely going to when my other two daughters are old enough. My parents did it to us and it worked, didn't it?

I just wanna know...AITA or can other people understand where I'm coming from? ######

Response:
 YTA. More for your daughter to grow and learn by conquering her fear of the deep end on her own terms then being forced into it by someone she trusted in an act that was, at the very least, obnoxious. You're lucky she still trusts you.

Also for insisting on doing it again despite your wife's feeling on it. Children have died this way.

Also for the assumption (and insistence) that it would not negatively impact your other two children when they are "old enough".

I can understand your thinking, to an extent. Sure, it works. But there are far better / more beneficial ways of going about it. ######


Prompt:
Hello reddit, my husband told me that I was an asshole for the way I acted but I don't think so. Please take a moment to read and share your opinion on this.

My daughter \[17F\] came to me yesterday and told me that she would like to see a therapist as her mental state has been down ever since she broke up with her ex boyfriend and she believes she has a major depressive disorder. Personally, I find it kind of silly to pay $100 just to see a therapist especially considering the fact that it’s completely normal to be upset after a break up. That’s not to say that she doesn’t have a major depressive disorder, but it’s unlikely. I obviously did not tell her that she is not depressed, but I did tell her that almost everyone goes through this moment during a break up and even I did in my teenage years.

My daughter still insisted that she would love to see one. The thing is, she rarely has open discussions with me, and it took her almost one week to tell me that she broke up with her boyfriend and that was only because I caught her sobbing in her room.

I believe that if she would give me a chance she won’t need another therapist because in the end, no one understands their daughters better than a mother. When I told her this she just said ‘fine’ and left.

I told my husband after I ended the discussion with her and he told me that I was an asshole for the way I acted since our daughter rarely opens to us and this was the chance I had to show her that I am always there for her and (he believes) I failed. I on the other hand think I acted pretty reasonable with her. What do you guys think? ######

Response: YTA. Maybe she wants to talk to someone unbiased. ######


Prompt:
I 16m and my sister 14f live in Korea, but we are American expats. We live in Seoul and were in vacation in Busan. My parents wanted us out of the hotel and told us to leave for like 4 hours. Unfortunately the only restaurant that wasn't completly crowded or opened was some seafood restaurants. My sister hates seafood, she finds it gross yet she never tries it so she really wouldn't know.

We saw a seafood restaurant and we agreed to go there and see if there was non seafood options. I speak Korean, she does not and i asked about nonseafood options. He said htey didn't have any. I ordered calamari and some other seafood dishes and I told my sister that they were chicken and stuff. She ate them and really enjoyed it.

After we left teh restaurant i told her she ate squid and now she's pissed at me and told our parents. My dad thought it was hilarious and my mom is annoyed. They aren't that pissed at me though becuase my sister is a really picky eater and its annoying as fuck becuase she bitches about every restaurant ######

Response:
 YTA. Lying to people about what they’re eating is a dick move.

You are not responsible for her palate. Don’t act like you are.

Besides that, being deceitful is a sure fire way to guarantee she’ll never try new foods ever again. Try using encouragement. ######


Prompt: I am a fifth-grade teacher. Last year I had a student who had a  family that very difficult to deal with and was going through a divorce and the grandparents were overbearing and very hard. The student was a very average student not exceptional or bright, but her mother tended to believe she was beyond gifted. So we switched to remote learning and the student did not attend classes for the first week and then attended sporadically for the rest of the semester.  So her grades dropped from Bs and As to Ds. During the summer the mother contacted me to complain stating that the grades I gave hurt the child's chances of getting a scholarship to a private middle school, that the child was looking forward to attending. I told her if she was so concerned she should have made sure the child attended class regularly. She explained that she didn't have internet in her home for the first week and she and the child would have to drive to the Mcdonalds for the rest of the semester for the child to sit in on classes and that the father was not paying child support. She also explained that the custody agreement said that the father would have time with the child and those are the days the child wouldn't attend classes. I told her that the district offered help for parents without the internet and she said she had contacted them and never heard back. (Seems false to me) She also stated that the  father lied to her and said he had her in class. I told her that the child was old enough to get herself to watch the classes when she was with him. I told her it was simple, the child didn't met the requirements i have for grades and therefore she earned her Ds. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Looking at your comments, you were informed during the school year that the child had internet problems and issues at home, you weren’t reporting the grades so her mom thought she was still receiving A’s and B’s until July, when you decided to calculate in attendance and then she had D’s. You even said the mom immediately contacted you in July after final grades were posted. We are in unprecedented times and to have no compassion for your students is just disappointing. The child didn’t do anything wrong and she did submit all the required assignments. You left out a ton of information in your original post and you should have changed her grade (and any other kid you did this to). ######


Prompt:
My SO wants her ex’s father to walk her down the aisle

Pretty much what the title says. My SO & I got engaged recently & she dropped this on me last night. She dated her ex for 6 years & got really close to the family.

I don’t want her ex’s family that involved in our wedding, but she insists that he’s there.

Her father died while they were dating, so I understand she doesn’t want to walk down the aisle alone, but she’s also close with my father.

AITA for not wanting my SO to walk down the aisle with her ex’s dad?? ######

Response: YTA. Lightly, and you’re allowed to have feelings on the situation, but YTA. She is closest to him, he was probably a father figure when her Dad died. Your Dad is also likely a father figure, but clearly she is closer with ex’s dad. Let him walk her down the aisle. She is marrying you and not his son after all. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is currently a senior in high school and for as long as i can remember she has wanted to be a musician. My MIL went to Julliard and made it big in the industry. I don't want to give any details because I think some people might recognize her name, and it is hard to teach my daughter that  just because her grandmother did it and succeeded does not mean it is a attainable goal. Also and i would never say this to my daughter, she just isn't as talented as her grandmother. I would be all for something more reasonable like a music teacher, but she wants to do just what MIL does, and MIL always tells her that taking risk is good and everyone told her to just go to nursing school like her sister, but look at her now.

Today i sat my daughter down for a very honest talk about what is going to happen if she doesn't get into Julliard (I know she isn't and MIL has confirmed in private that she really doesn't have enough to stand out and get into a school like that) She got defensive and thought that i was just trying to keep her from being like MIL because of my personal issues with MIL, so i told her the truth. It is almost impossible to succeed, so many people have talent, but MIL had two things beyond talents, she is nasty and vicious and doesn't care who she was willing to sleep with any man who can help her career.  My daughter isn't like that, thank god, but i told her that nice people don't make it that far and the industry is full of people like MIL.

I guess my daughter told MIL because i got an irate message from her saying that i called her a prostitute and that she loves her husband. My husband thinks that I went too far though he agrees our daughter is making a mistake. ######

Response: YTA. Let the Julliard admission's office decide. Rejection is part of the human experience. She'll get it out of her system and she'll be inspired to try something else *then*, when someone who is *actually* educated in such matters decides. NEVER take away someone's fuel-- you'll be sorry when she's aimless. ######


Prompt:
I'm a shift lead at a fast food joint.

Here's the deal, I have this worker, Shannon (18f) who is on the shy side. I'm not saying she's ugly but when compared to the other girls working, eh, lets just say she doesn't get a lot of attention. It's Saturday, it's busy, I have 3 cashiers and Shannon running food and bussing. We're running low on certain ingredients so I send her back to the kitchen to prep. In the kitchen I have my cooks, all guys. There's Joe who is known as the crew's asshole. He can be mean, jokingly, but it goes too far sometimes and we managers gotta step in and redirect him. I wasn't thinking anything bad would happen. I thought Joe would be too busy cooking. Peaking in on the kitchen every few minutes Joe is cracking jokes about Shannon right in front of her. I tell him to focus on his work. I don't know when but 30 mins in I find Shannon in back crying in the utility closest. Most days I'd take her to the side and talk to her but most days we aren't getting slammed and I'm getting chewed out by customers. I ask her simply if it's because of Joe's comments. She says yes. I tell her okay, either she gets back out front, we discuss this later or she can leave and take a write up. She tells me she just needs 5 minutes. No. I need her out there now and seeing as she wasn't doing anything I tell her to get out.

I discussed it later with both my store manager and assistant manager. Joe is getting a write up and talking to but we also came to the agreement Shannon will be getting one as well for leaving early.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. Let me count the ways.

1. You pass judgement on employees based on their looks.

2. You observed Joe harassing Shannon and did nothing.

3. When Shannon informs you why she is in a closet crying, your response is to tell her to get back on the floor or get written up.

4. When you discussed things with your manager, you failed to back her up.

Should your store be investigated for allowing harassment, you'll be lucky if you're still employed at its conclusion. ######


Prompt:
My roommate has this weird hobby where she listens to FM radio for hours on end. She has several radios, and sets up all these things so that she can pull in as distant a station as possible. Today, she brought home this $200 thing that's the size of my desktop. She was raving about how "good" of a deal it was, even though you can get a radio for $5 these days, not considering that she's paying $200 to sit through commercials and crappy music. I told her that $200 is a little much for a radio, and that it's strange to fork over so much money when she can stream radio for free. She said, "Well, I'm very happy with my purchase, and that's what matters." I told her that she already has like 4 radios and doesn't need another one, and she said, "I'll spend my money however I want." I told her that I'm just giving my opinion, and she said, "Your opinion doesn't matter because you're not using it." I told her that was a little condescending, and she accused me of tone policing and getting off on telling women how to spend their money.

AITA? I can't imagine spending half of my paycheck on something you can do for free with a phone app, and she didn't need to accuse me of sexism when gender had nothing to do with it. ######

Response: YTA. Keep your unsolicited opinions to yourself. ######


Prompt: My fiancée and I have been engaged for a year now. We've just been stuck looking for the right time and place but we found one and chose a destination wedding in September. We found out she was pregnant three weeks ago and we're excited about that. Until today I didn't think that'd change anything but apparently it does. She doesn't want to have the wedding while she's pregnant and wants to have it afterwards. We've already paid a deposit for the venue so that's already more than 2 grand down the drain. I'm honestly already over the wedding and just want it over and done with so I told her we're either getting married on the date in September or we're just going to sign the papers and be done with it. She got upset and called her parents who are now yelling at me for this. For the sake of transparency they are offering to pay 3/4 for the make up wedding but I'm not for that idea because then we'll have to wait a couple more months so the baby is old enough and so she can get back into her wedding dress. It's just too much. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Just postpone it. I wouldn’t want to be a pregnant bride either. Her parents are recouping most of your loss so it’s really not that big of a deal. ######


Prompt:
Just to be clear she has seen the kids. My husband put his foot down and since she isn't super close to the kids I don't have a problem with it. My MIL doesn't like me very much and she would rather not be close to my children and not babysit than have to follow any rules. In general we just don't have anything in common and if she wasn't family she isn't someone I would ever talk to.

We had to stay at their house for a few days because we had some flooding and MIL had a friend over. I was not ease dropping but I'd cooked for my kids and I was cleaning the kitchen, while they were in the living room and it is an open kitchen (I don't think she knew I was in there) MIL's best friend was saying how someone she knew gave a kidney to their boss, and she said that is so nice but she would never do that for someone she wasn't super close to. MIL agreed. The friend said I'd do it for you and my husband and fuck everyone else. MIL said that when you get older you lose tolerance for fake relationships and then she said "the only people I really love are FIL, you, and my brother"

I was floored that she didn't include my husband or my kids. I confronted her the next day and asked if she meant that. MIL just kind of shrugged and said sometimes you chose your own family. She tried to backtrack and she said she might do it in the situation, but really she doesn't feel that same closeness and her best friend is more family to her than my kids. I told her that she is evil and doesn't deserve to ever her her grandchildren again. My husband thinks I shouldn't have said that and I have to understand it is a 30 year friendship. ######

Response: YTA. Just because you she's dropped and heard she won't hypothetically give you or the kids a kidney doesnt mean she is a negative influence on their lives ######


Prompt:
My husband was previously married to a woman who was physically unable to have children so they adopted my stepdaughter when she was nine months old. I didn't meet her until she was 19 and thank god because I don't think I would have been able to deal with her. She is incredibly spoiled. When we moved we had to get rid of all of her childhood things because he just shoved them in a room instead of actually going through them, and she had nine American Girl Dolls, and an entire room just filled with toys. She had two horses growing up, he paid for her school all through her PhD, paid for her wedding, bought her a house.

I have a 21 year old daughter and my husband is very nice to her but he doesn't seem interested in any financial responsibility. My ex and I paid for her college but she didn't get to go to a fancy school like her stepsister did and he never offered to help though he makes great money. My daughter was interested in a study abroad but my ex couldn't afford it and my husband didn't offer though his daughter has a PhD in history and he funded "educational" trips to Europe every summer throughout college and grad school.

My sister was over the other day and made a joke about why don't I quit my job, isn't that the point of being married to a rich man. I said maybe after \*daughter's name\* gets married because I know he isn't going to pay for the wedding. This prompted a fight when she left and he said he doesn't owe my daughter anything because she isn't his child. I said \*stepdaughter's name\* isn't really your child either and he stormed out of the house. I feel like I went too far but i am so sick of my daughter watching her stepsister have everything handed to her. ######

Response: YTA. Just because she is adopted doesn't mean she isn't his daughter. He made the decision to adopt her and has been her father for almost 100% of her life. ######


Prompt: I am now in extremely shitty situation. My daughter(Jane) cut all contact with me after my wife made some racist comments about her bf. I agree what she did is disgusting but Jane told me choose either between her or wife. How the hell I am supposed to do that. TBH my wife comes from racist family I called her out many times but I think racism is deeply rooted into her now it is impossible to do anything about it. This happened five years ago, Jane and her bf getting married soon. She called me yesterday and asked for some money as she is laid off. Actually she told me to honour promise I made to all my daughters(I helped them financially when they get married). I refused. I told her I made promise to my daughter and as she denounced me as her father I am no longer going to help her out. AITA ? ######

Response: YTA. Jesus, YTA. The wedding money is the least of it, FFS, you chose a racist over your own daughter. Hell, YTA for marrying the racist in the first place, surely if she's "from a racist family" she let those colors show before you married her. You purposely brought this awful person into their lives, *married* her, and are now reaping the rewards. The rest of your children would do well to disown you too. ######


Prompt:
I (42f) have a daughter (19f). She’s a university student, but has moved home because her university closed down and turned to online classes.

English is not our first language, but it’s a compulsory part of our syllabus. My daughter was very good at it, did English as a first language, when most do English as a second language here and got perfect scores on her IELTS.

My son, on the other hand struggles a lot with English. He’s currently doing English as a second language, and he’s failing. Since she’s come home, and isn’t paying rent I asked her to tutor him for a while everyday, and make sure not to leave if he doesn’t finish his homework.

It’s been a few weeks since this arrangement, and she’s angry now. Apparently he doesn’t like to do his homework, and it takes hours to convince him to do it and there’s other things she’d rather be doing.

She says if she sits down with him at 2pm, he’ll take until 8pm to finish it because he plays with his xbox, phone and switch and slowly does the work after she begs him so she can leave. I do insist that she stays until he finishes his homework, but I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

She’s complaining that she doesn’t want to babysit her 13 year old brother for 6 hours a day until he’s ‘bothered to do his homework’. That she wants to call her friends and do her coursework as well. But if she’s going to live with me rent free for who knows how long until her university opens up she’s going to have to contribute somehow. And I think  getting my son to do his homework and tutoring him is contributing enough. ######

Response: YTA. Its time to take the electronics away and parent your child to do his homework. Your daughter has her own classes to do, and tutoring is not normally for 6 hours a day. An hour a day is fine, but making her be in charge of him finishing his homework is too much. ######


Prompt:
I (19F) got my boyfriend(20M) of 3 years a switch back in January as a gift. We're both university students so money is kinda tight, but I saved up and I was finally able to buy it for him because he'd been talking about it for about a year. It was $600 for the switch, a game and the tax, so it wasn't exactly a small gift but he was so happy so it was worth it. Fast forward eight months and he mentions that he told his friend he would lend it to him for a few days to finish a game that he had started way back while they still lived together at university. I was a little bit upset when he told me after he already told his friend because I'm just... not fond of this idea. It doesn't help that I don't exactly like or trust this specific friend. But I also just don't like the idea of him lending something that I spent months saving up for, but maybe I'm being too overprotective and controlling. Because on the other hand, I understand that I gave it to him as a gift so it's his property and he can do as he wishes with it. Furthermore, it's one of his best friends and he trusts him alot. But when I asked him if he had asked his friend if he would pay to replace it if it was damaged but he says he doesn't need to ask cause that's not gonna happen.

So Reddit, am I the asshole if I ask my boyfriend not to lend the switch I bought to his friend? He proof read this post so it's not biased; we agreed we would let Reddit decide. ######

Response: YTA. Its a gift and he can do whatever he wants with it. Asking him what to do/not to do is controlling. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because I’m not sure if my children are on Reddit.

I have two kids with a four year age gap, my oldest, Sara, is 26 and my youngest, Bella, is 22. Sara went to undergraduate school and her father and I supported her by paying half of her living expenses and college tuition. We did the same for Bella. They both worked during college, and Bella worked while doing unpaid internships.

Sara went to graduate school for social work and she took out loans to pay for her education. We helped her out with groceries as well as paying her car insurance and phone bill. She graduated and got a steady decently paying job a couple years back.

Bella graduated this winter and had been job searching throughout her last semester with no luck. Things took a turn for the worse when the pandemic hit, and all of her leads dried up. She couldn’t get the stimulus check, and she no longer had her college gig. She did some side work to get her self through while hoping that her job prospects would come back. Luckily one of the places she applied for hired her after three months of unemployment. She has been employed for one month and she makes an okay salary, nothing great, but she can live off of it.

Long story short, I realized that my phone contract was up for renewal. I decided that since both bella and Sara are now employed I would take them off my plan. Sara took it well enough, but Bella got upset saying that Sara was able to stay on my plan four years longer than she did and that she is just beginning to recover from the financial hit of being unemployed during a pandemic. She asked me if I could keep her on the plan until next year, but I don’t think it’s right. Both my girls are employed and it’s time for them to make it on their own. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. It’s the middle of a pandemic. She’s literally just got a job and there’s hardly much job security going around right now. You can’t give your kid a break for a year? In a pandemic, whilst she gets settled and can start saving? ######


Prompt:
My friend draws art in her spare time and frequently does commissions. I asked her if she could draw something for me and she charged the standard price, which I found a bit steep. I asked if she could just count this as doing a favor for a friend and do it for free and she laughed and called me cheap as a joke.

I did feel a bit hurt by it and I ended up paying the price she asked for but I just want to know if it was unreasonable for me to have asked her for a free commission. ######

Response: YTA. It’s tacky. She earns money from it and why would she paint something for free when she could be earning some cash. ######


Prompt:
She has recently become very into recycling and conservation, which is fine, but she now has taken to needling myself and our kids over behaviors she disapproves of even though in my opinion they're minor issues which shouldn't bother her so much. I've tried to be supportive as much as possible until she started complaining because I stuff trash into my empty bottles and she says she can't recycle them. I really don't think about it. It just happens, but she gets so upset and acts as if I am doing it to spite her. I'm not. She says I should remember or make more of an effort, but who really thinks about things like that after doing this for decades?

My children also are irritated by the change in behavior but are less vocal about it than I am.

On Sunday I had been spending time with my son. It was just the two of us, so we ordered a pizza and watched some movies. When my wife came home she saw that we both had bottles filled with trash and started in on us. I didn't say anything because usually it's better to just let it go, but she didn't stop. That irritated me so after she was done and was leaving the room I loudly told our son that we had to comply with his mother's wishes because she was a greeniac and would call in the national guard on us otherwise.

He thought it was funny. I did too, and it really was meant as a joke and not anything else, but my wife took offense to it and told me I was an asshole.

I feel like with as much grief as she's given me lately I should be allowed to express frustration with a joke - and a harmless one at that.

She wants me to apologize to her and tell our kids I was wrong for saying it since I am the "asshole." Am I? ######

Response: YTA. It’s really not hard at all to keep your trash and recyclables separate. It’d be annoying to me too if you kept doing it over and over since she’s making an effort and you’re clearly not. ######


Prompt:
My (43F) daughter (17F) and I got in an argument about this today and we are at an impasse. She suggested we post here to see who is right and I thought, hell why not. Could be an interesting little experiment.

Here is my side:

When out and about, I am very honest when people ask me how I am doing or how my day is going. Whether it is the cashier at the grocery store, the bank teller, a neighbour, my kids' friends or boyfriends, their parents, etc., when they ask me how I'm doing or how my day is going I give them an honest answer. Sure, this sometimes means that the answer is negative, but I feel like if people don't want an actual answer, why would they ask in the first place? I pride myself on my honesty and on telling it like I see it, so I see no reason to be dishonest when asked a direct question.

My daughter's side:

My mom doesn't get that people ask this out of politeness and not because they actually want to know how she is. The grocery store cashier making minimum wage is just trying to do their job and doesn't actually give a shit how every customer is doing that day. It's a formality, and the thing to do is say "Good, you?" and move on. Also, she goes into way too much detail about what exactly is bothering her, has started crying at cash registers, to my boyfriend and friends, to anyone really when she is having a bad day or is stressed out, and doesn't see that this makes people uncomfortable who were basically just saying hello and hoping to move on with their day. It's really embarrassing. Also 'priding herself on honesty' is just a fancy way of saying that you don't care about being mean to people, imo....

So, Reddit, AITA? Does my daughter have a point, or am I right in saying that if you're going to ask someone how they are, you should actually mean it and should want and expect an honest answer? I would never ask someone how they were doing if I didn't genuinely want to know, and didn't care about the answer. ######

Response: YTA. It’s one thing to be honest and say “not great,” it’s another to unburden yourself on others and basically vent to whoever you want. It’s not the job of virtual strangers to help you process your emotions. This isn’t “honesty,” it’s over sharing and it’s selfish. I would be embarrassed and frustrated to deal with you too. ######


Prompt:
We are both 17...So i don't see my girlfriend very much, maybe once a week, her birthday was on August 30th.

My girlfriend didn't do anything for her birthday (including me at least), so i made her a nice video which she said she liked. That night we were on a call and i asked if i was an Ahole for not getting her a proper gift, she said no and just to get her some chocolates next time i saw her, i said okay and I'd make a card or something for her too.

So it's been a week and i still haven't gotten her these things (i saw her once but we were in a hurry so i couldn't get them to her)

We were talking today i said i was kinda busy so i could see you without bringing them, or i can see you tomorrow and bring them. She got mad at me and said it's like she's begging me to do something for her birthday, and how if i wanted to get her something i would've done it sooner. I said how because she didn't do anything for her birthday i treated it a bit more casually

Side note: she was like months late to getting me a letter for our one year anniversary... So i thought being a week late for getting her these things for her birthday wouldn't be such a big deal.. She said birthdays are different

I apologized and said how i should've been more thoughtful, but i thought she was very casual about it until like right now so it's very confusing ######

Response:
 YTA. It’s okay though, it’s important to learn these lessons as a kid. Every relationship is different but if gifts on birthdays are expected, it’s important you prepare for that.

Also, try not to use someone else’s doing to excuse your poor actions. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been with my boyfriend for six years and we have two kids. I’ve always had the impression his mom didn’t like me but she’s never said anything. His mom was wealthy on her own and probably made on the higher end of six figures. She’s been with her fiancé for about a year and a half and I think he might be a millionaire. He bought her a Birkin for her birthday and I’ve heard that those can cost tens of thousands and when the pandemic got bad he somehow got them to his vacation house on a helicopter even though the area was supposed to be closed off. Honestly it kind of grossed me out how someone can have so much money when so many people are struggling.

He proposed while they were in quarantine and I only know what the ring cost because he asked my boyfriends sister to help him pick it out and she couldn’t believe the price and she kind of has a big mouth. This ring cost more than most people make in a couple years. I literally can’t get over the fact that someone would spend that much money on a piece of metal. They’re home and we saw them for the first time in a few months and when we left my boyfriend said I was the only one who didn’t say congratulations. He feels like I’m being an asshole but I don’t see how she can wear that ring and not care that people are struggling and her grandkids are struggling. ######

Response: YTA. It’s his money, not even hers. Also, STOP judging how people spend their money. You don’t like the fact that some people are super wealthy and other are struggling? Neither do I, but not congratulating because of an expensive ring is plain stupid. ######


Prompt:
This just happened. I (21F) am upset at my SO (22M). One of our cats got tangled in his earphones while he was watching a video in bed, the cat scratched his foot trying to detangle. (not serious but a decent couple scratches)

He went to go disinfect and put a bandage on it. But he saw we were out of gauze pads, we also do not have any bandaids big enough.

So instead of using a substitute like a paper towel, toilet paper, or the unopened pack of cotton rounds.... He takes one of my tampons, takes it apart and uses that to bandage.

Didn't ask or anything, just uses my (realatively expensive, i buy the big packs due to heavy flow) sanitary items.

I admit when I get upset, I have a tendency to take it a bit far too long but I had left the room to cool down and the tried to talk to him about it.

I wouldn't have had a problem if he asked but he didn't. I've discussed and asked him time and time again to ask me before using ~my~ things (anything specifically bought for me).

He won't talk to me right now, I've tried to explain why I was upset but he just won't listen.

AITA for getting upset?? ######

Response:
 YTA. It’s a singular tampon. Ask him for a dollar or two if the cost means that much and be done with it. There’s no rational reason why one tampon should make you so angry that you have to leave the room.

It’s a TAMPON. He didn’t take your phone or eat your leftovers or use your shirt to mop the floor.

And without a doubt, a tampon is gonna be closer to gauze than a paper towel. They’re at least sanitary. ######


Prompt:
This happened a few hours ago.

My parents are divorced. Throughout quarantine I (M17) have spent most of my time in my room when at my mom's (F46) apartment. I go down to the living room/kitchen area a few times a day to get food and see what's going on with my mother and sister (F15).

Today I hadn't eaten all day, so I went down to get lunch. My mom was sitting at the table and appeared to be wearing  no pants. I asked her if she could please put some pants on because she is in the living room. She said that she won't because she's in her bathing suit. We do not have a pool, nor was she getting ready to go to one. She was just sitting in the living room in her bathing suit which was revealing as most bathing suits are. I told her very clearly and calmly to please put on some clothes because it was making me uncomfortable, which at this point it was. She proceeded to gaslight me, aggressively telling me that I should be fine with it, that it isn't a big deal, and that she's going up to her room in a bit anyway. I then went to get myself some food, and as she was still just sitting there, I started to get angry because of my discomfort and asked her again to go up to her room and put some clothes on because I was seriously uncomfortable. It has been about 5 minutes at this point, and she gets up and starts yelling at me and continues the gaslighting. As she goes up to my room, I tell my sister that "I won't accept that kindof bullshit". My mom overheard this, told me to get my stuff, and drove me over to my dads place. My sister later mentioned that she had also asked my mom to change.

The way I see it is that if the roles were reversed and my dad did the same thing to my sister, my mother and many others would be absolutely furious, and that my mother has no right to treat me the way she did after I specifically told her I was uncomfortable with what she was wearing in the living room. Am I just overreacting? AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. It’s a bathing suit, grow up. She was sitting there minding her own business and you came out of your room with a problem and demanded she change right that very second. It took her a whole 5 minutes to get up? God forbid 🙄

Edit: she’s a saint for just taking you to your dad’s after that ‘bullshit’ comment cause I would have lost my temper at that. ######


Prompt: I took a trip and brought a game (an old-school RPG called Lunar if anyone's wondering) I've been wanting to play.  The airplane was loud so I figured I'll play it with the sound on and without headphones.  After a few minutes, the person next to me who was working on a laptop gave me a dirty look and asked me passive aggressively if I could turn the sound down.  I did turn the sound down because maybe I broke some etiquette rule since I'm not a frequent flier like it looked like they were, but I have been wondering if they were the asshole or if I was. ######

Response: YTA. It's rude to make others listen to the sound of your music, movie or game on an airplane. On a game in particular, the little noises it makes can make it impossible to sleep or read a book. By contrast, airplane noises are largely white noise and easy to ignore. ######


Prompt:
Me and my girl went to grab food. While we were heading there I got a call from a friend that I also do some gigs with. I'm ordering food while still on the phone. Some times passes and we take our food to go home. I tell her let's just eat in the car because I'm still on the phone. Eventually 30 minutes passes by the time I finish my phone call. We were just sitting in the car eating, really don't see nothing wrong with that.

She seemed irritated when I got off the phone but didn't express her thoughts until we got home. Told me I put work over everything and everyone sometimes and that It can frustrating and draining to people close around me. She even said that she wasn't the only one to notice. That even my mom said that to her. Which I doubt, because she has never told me that personally. Why wouldn't my own mom tell be something like that?

After hearing that, I understood sometimes I do go overboard but then I felt like she was disrespecting me. Not in a blatant way but in subtle way. That's when I said "you didn't complain when we went on a new years trip last year,  you don't complain when I pay for your food, you didn't complain when we decided to get a nicer crib to stay in." Then not to expect anything and act like me working hasn't benefited her and raised her expectations in life.

She was most definitely hurt, not even speaking to me but so was I by her comments. I work to put myself and other ones in a better situation. ######

Response: YTA. It's really rude when you're in the company of another person - especially sharing a meal - to spend 30+ minutes on the phone. You basically told your GF that because of the money you spend on her, you don't owe her love, companionship, conversation and your attention. ######


Prompt:
I went on vacation for a week and setup an autoresponder, for colleagues only. The autoresponder mentioned when I was coming back and gave instructions for who to contact in case of emergency. Finally, the message also said something along these lines: *"If this is really important, I would recommend you send it again after $DATE, since inbox is a LIFO queue and it'll likely get lost in hundreds of other messages"* followed by a smiley face. I thought it was an honest way to remind colleagues that email inbox is a s\*show and messages are likely to get lost. Besides, I do this all the time: I don't want to give people excuses to miss my emails so I use Gmail scheduled send when colleagues are on vacation or even to optimize hitting their inbox top when they're commuting to/from work.

I have heard backchannel that someone thought this statement was not professional.  I guess some people prefer to live in the fantasy that their emails get read when one comes back from holiday?

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. It's massively unprofessional.

>>It is part of your job to read /reply to work emails<<

Writing: "I'm going to mass delete everything when I get back, I don't care how inconvenient it is to you, resend all emails after my vacation because I can't be bothered to pay attention and sort through them properly like everyone else does. Smiley face" ? Totally out of line. ######


Prompt:
Because I (29f) worked in fast food/restaurants during high school and early adulthood, I put in my best effort to be courteous to the worker. Usually, when I'm with friends or family and we have a split order (they pay for their food, I pay for mine) I make sure we go inside instead of drive thru to avoid extra hassle for them.

I was out with my friend (24f) when we decided to stop for dinner. We check the times to make sure the lobby is still open. Online it says it is. We get there and only drive thru is open.

In the past my family has ordered separate orders  through drive thru, so while I don't like it, I know we can do it.

Nope! We get to the order box and apologize right away saying we needed separate orders. Immediately they say they can't do that. I'm a little taken back and but am still polite and just ask if they changed that due to everything going on. No reply, until a minute later when they yell out are you going to order. They tell us we can either get one order now and pull back around for the second, or put them on the same order. Seeing as 6 cars are now behind us my friend just pays for us.

At the window I ask the cashier when did the policy change. She tell me a while ago, pretty shortly, and they have their reasons. I'll admit I'm a little confused and ask what those reasons were. She snaps and says just for safety and slams the window. She throws us are food and tells me I don't need to badger them on a policy they have no control over. My friend and I left in shock.

Now I'm feeling like a Karen. Was I over the line? ######

Response: YTA. It's a drive-thru, where people wait in line to get their orders. I think it is entitled of you to want to spend time splitting up orders, and then wasting more time questioning their policy.  Just pay the bill and figure out later who owes what. That's what ATMs are for. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years, I’m 21 and she’s 19.

She’s currently living with me and my parents after an argument with her parents, I won’t go into the reason but I don’t think she’ll go back to speaking with them.

My friends have a friend, “Brad”, Brad is a doctor around 40 and married.

My girlfriend has always put an effort into her appearance but whenever we get told Brad is visiting it’s like she goes to the max; she’ll shower for 20minutes, literally scrub herself raw, shower for 30mins-40mins and absolutely smothers herself in perfume - as my grandmother would say she smells like a whores handbag.

I’m not worried about Brad being a problem, I trust my girlfriend and realise she just has a problem with male role models in her life and Brad has his shit together so she looks up to him.

Brad had visited two nights ago and was sat in the living room speaking to my parents when he asked me and her when we were planning on having children since she’s great with my younger brother (5)

My girlfriend gets super awkward around the topic of children because despite wanting to teach we got told that the chances of us having a biological child was slim because of lack of regular ovulation, plus at our age we’re not really thinking about it.

My mother has caught up on my girlfriends liking of Brad and knows why and kind of just said “Oh, I think she’d rather have them with you! Can’t blame her, who wouldn’t?!” As a joke, everyone laughed and continued.

My girlfriend is really upset with me for not speaking up because she apparently can’t because she’s staying with us rent free (even though she babysits,cooks and cleans for free)

My mother did apologise in the end but she kind of laughed too so I don’t think it counts.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. It was inappropriate for your mother to say this both to Brad and your girlfriend, and incredibly creepy. You should have stuck up for her in particular. ######


Prompt:
I saw that it was a funny trend to sign people up for random email lists and spam them, but I decided to take this a step further because he really burnt me in the past.

I went to our local church of Scientology's website and saw where you could input your personal information to receive messages from the church. Since I had most of this information from our time being together, I filled it out under his name. I did this with a few more churches of Scientology as well. I thought that this would only be a minor inconvenience with a few puzzling, harmless emails, but it turned out to be much worse.

Recently, I saw that he posted on his Instagram that he was deleting all of his social media due to privacy reasons. At first, I didn't think much of it, but after a while, I started to wonder if there was any connection to what I had put in the church of Scientology's website.

So out of curiosity, I later decided to bite the bullet and DM him on Instagram in the hopes that he hadn't deactivated his account. A few minutes later, he responded, saying that he needed a break from social media. Ultimately, he told me to not worry about it, and that he was going to delete his Instagram (10k followers) later that night. I figured I was off the hook.

A few weeks later, I was with a mutual friend of ours, and she updated me on his situation. Apparently, him and his family had been contacted by the church of Scientology. Supposedly, they actually expressed interest. The mutual friend said the she hadn't seen him in a while and none of his friends had heard from him in over a month. She said that it seemed like he was cutting off everybody.

I just received word that he's dropping out of school after the semester ends, and his family is moving to live with other church members. I know I technically signed him up for this, but I had no idea it would get this bad. He honestly deserved it after everything he did. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. It was a petty, spiteful and childish thing to do. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Whatever he did to you doesn’t mean you’re entitled to sign him up for a dozen magazines or the Church of Scientology or anything else. There might be someone out there who’s just as pissed off at you over something as you are towards him. Would you want your personal information to be used like that? Probably not. ######


Prompt:
I live with two roommates. Nobody owns the house, we rebt from a local woman. They recently got a dog with her permission. I told them I absolutely didn't want a dog, but was outvoted. They agreed to the following rules.

1. The dog does not go on my floor of the house for any reason. I just think dogs are dirty, and I do not want hair on or near my things.

2. I do not do any dog care. I didn't want the dog. I'm incredibly busy, and almost always on a tight schedule. The dog isn't my problem, and it will not affect my life.

3. The dog stays in their crate if my roommates aren't home. I don't trust them to get a decent dog, and I don't want to be looking around every corner.

One month later, my roommates disregard the 3rd rule, and their untrained dog runs wild. I was leaving for work today, and as I opened the door to leave, the dog nearly knocks me over (blech) and jumps out the door and Usain Bolt's to freedom. I just locked the door behind me and left. As I said before, I'm on a tight schedule, and when I'm going, I have to GO. I wasn't able to text my roommates about it until I got to work, and they apparently are pissed that I just let him go. They are at work and their parents' house, and nobody has started looking yet.

I don't think this is on me. I told them I didn't want a dog. I told them my terms. I had to go and didn't even have a minute to spend, let alone the hours I'm sure they expected me to put in. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. It took me less than a  minute to type this. "Dog got loose, you need to come and catch him"...still less than a minute

Still less

Still less

Still less

Minute up! ######


Prompt:
This actually happened a long while ago but we recently saw each other again and she was really angry at me and when I asked around, this came up.

So I was in a pretty complicated 'situationship' with this girl, Samantha (fake name). We never dated or were much friends but we regularly hooked up and chilled together in our group. Used protection but she got pregnant nonetheless. She said I was her only sexual partner and I believed her. We ended things pretty awkwardly a few weeks later but agreed to co parent what was going to be our child. Long story short, when she was around 2 months she was in a car accident and the baby didn't survive it. At the time I was overseas visiting my dad and uncles'. I wasn't that attached yet but I was a bit upset about it. Anyways, I guess I only really asked her how she was when she messaged me telkingme about it and that was the last time we spoke. That trip also kind of progressed into a move and job at my uncle's place and I only recently came back to visit my mother when I saw Sam again. So yeah, apparently I was an asshole for not comforting her or caring enough to ask how she was and just leaving her. We'd already 'broken up' at that point so i don't think I was that much of an asshole. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. It takes two to make a child but she ended up having to go through the painful process all by herself. I hope you apologized properly. ######


Prompt:
I divorced a few years back, I had daughter(Jenny) and one son from my past marriage. Her mother and my childrens did not take our separation well. They hates my wife(Lisa) also they kind of banished her from all family functions.

 Lisa and Jenny were once best friends, I never thought I will fall for her but it just happened and after 3 years we are still going strong despite our age difference.

Jenny is getting married soon with her boyfriend. Yesterday,she calls me to tell me she is planning the wedding, hoping that I will chip in some money. I told her I’d like to help to but only if Lisa is invited. She was not ok with this and she would prefer if I only come alone. I said that I’m okay with her choice but in that case I am not going to help her financially. I will not pay for wedding my wife is not invited. My brother thinks I'm being selfish TA for not helping her. ######

Response:
 YTA. It must be unbelievably weird for your daughter to have to deal with you being married to a former friend of hers. It’s totally unsurprising that she doesn’t want your wife (I wouldn’t use the term ‘step mother’ when they are so close in age - your wife clearly did not do any mothering for your daughter) there on the day, making her feel awkward on her wedding.

You’re trying to use money as emotional leverage to push her into making a decision she isn’t comfortable with on her wedding day for your benefit. That’s just not good behaviour from a dad.

You made a decision with consequences when you chose to date a friend of your daughter’s. This is one of those consequences. It’s unfair of you to try and buy your way out of dealing with that consequence at the expense of your daughter’s happiness on her wedding day. ######


Prompt: Me (34f) and my spouse (34M) have been together for several years, always talked about having kids.  But tbh the current situation due to the virus that won’t be named has made me completely change my mind.  Our dogs wake me up before my alarm daily to be fed and now that I WFH I’m ALWAYS around them. It’s exhausting.  I can’t imagine kids being worst bc it’s already at the bottom. Even tho having kids has been my spouse’s dream, I just can’t any more.  I restarted my birth control last month and I haven’t told him yet. Honestly, I don’t really feel like I need to tell him (we don’t consult each other on starting/stopping other medications).  We just got kittens, too so the terrible twos are around the corner. I really feel like I’m getting the parent experience from our pets anyway. We’ll revisit the kids conversation at some point, but I feel like it would be better to wait until after quarantine.  AITA for deciding not to have human children and restarting my BC? ######

Response:
 YTA. It is totally fine to not want kids, to have doubts or want to alter the plan due to current events. It is not okay to change a life plan and keep it a secret from your husband. This is his life you are changing too.

You know your “we don’t consult each other about other meds” argument is bullshit, if he starts taking allergy meds that doesn’t change the course of both your lives. If you just talked to him about this and communicated then all this drama could be avoided.

Also, based on how you conduct yourself - you are right, you’re not ready to be a parent. ######


Prompt:
I don't think my MIL likes me very much. She seems like she tries to hide it, but i can tell she isn't happy to have me for her DIL. My husband comes from a very traditional southern family, with a long line of pageant queens and housewives. GMIL was both and clearly looks down on me. MIL and GMIL (her MIL, not her mom) are very close and sometimes if feel like GMIL is MIL's attack dog.

I recently found out that MIL hosted a birthday lunch for GMIL and invited all of the women in the family except me. My husband said i shouldn't confront her, because she isn't obligated to include me, but i confronted her anyway. MIL said GMIL specifically asked her not to invite me, because she finds my political beliefs offensive and she thinks I've been rude to her husband, though MIL looked like she really enjoyed telling me this.

I told her that i think she should have refused to host the party. MIL said that we were obviously raised differently, but she respects her elders and would never dream of refusing her MIL. I insisted that she should not have excluded me and MIL said i was making her uncomfortable with my begging and she was done with the conversation. ######

Response: YTA. It is hurtful to be excluded but insisting she shouldn't have hosted the party was an AH move, as was pursuing the topic. ######


Prompt: Been dating for 4 months now and honestly one of the things I find attractive about her, is her voice. However that's most likely fake and a tone that she keeps up. My girlfriend's native language isn't English . She speaks another language too. I only speak English and can understand a bit of Spanish. I barely hear her talk in her own language but for the past week or so. She's been talking in her language more often as her brother came to town and they've been planning to meet and call often. I notice that she sounds different when she speaks her language and her voice isn't as high pitched or cute. I thought maybe I was being weird so I tried to listen to her whenever she spoke and it's true. She's faking it so I called her out and told her that it's okay she can speak in her actual tone and doesn't need to fake it anymore for me. Instead she got pissed and called me an asshole telling me that's how she sounds when she speaks English. she's not responding to my texts and is ignoring me. I've always respected her tbh..never hurt or did anything bad and she just doesn't wanna talk now. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. It is completly normal that the voice and even the main character changes while speaking different languages. You just assumed and called her out without knowing shit. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend and I have been together for a while, and we decided to move in together. Since she already owns a house, I moved in with her.

Before I moved in, I made it clear that I rather it just be the two of us in the house and that I didn’t want her son to continue living with us. She was pretty blasé about this and was like “yeah, yeah, he’ll move out”. Her son is an ADULT, but he lives with her because she more or less enables him. He’s not a NEET, but he is very lazy and seems to take advantage of his mom

I moved in a month ago, and her son is still there. She told me to “see” if I felt comfortable living in the house with him. At first, I tried living with her son. But honestly, I hate it. I just want to be able to sit on the couch and be intimate with my girlfriend without a grown ass man walking in. Plus he is just a little asshole and expects his mom to do his laundry and wash his dishes, even though he’s grown.

I told my GF I don’t want to live with him any longer and she started to cry, saying she wanted to get him out the house for a while and that she’ll talk to him. At dinner yesterday, he “confronted” me and said GF never brought this up before me... but I was just empowering her to say how she’s been feeling for a while. My GF is very sensitive and beats around the bush, and she didn’t want to hurt his feelings but she’d wanted him to move out. We argued, and he called me an asshole and other profane things while I tried staying calm and reasoning with him.

My GF has no idea what to do, and she’s bad at picking sides so I wanted to make this post to help her get more perspectives. I might be an asshole for “separating” a grown man from his mom, but I also think I’m just helping my GF. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. It is completely reasonable for a 20 year old to still live at home. You’re being ridiculous and entitled. ######


Prompt:
My husband and I have been married now for over 10 years. We had our wedding in my home country although at the time we were both living in the US. In my home country there are certain customs that people follow in the wedding speeches. A couple of weeks before the wedding my dad gave my husband a book of examples detailing the customs to help him write his wedding speech.

Basically, the groom is supposed to thank people and compliment the bridesmaids. We were giving out thank you gifts to my family members who had planned and thrown the wedding for us. So this was sort of a big deal for my husband to get right.

Well, he did the thanking part perfectly. Got everything right, it all went very smoothly. However, he forgot, in his speech, to mention me AT ALL. The book did not tell him to compliment the bride, say how much he loves her and so forth. That was taken as given - the groom should want to do that regardless.

For the most part I don't care, I think it's funny. But he regrets it - both because it represents an imperfection in his speech (he went on to become a professor and teach public speaking among other things) and partly because he hates to have let me down (maybe?).

I take every opportunity to poke fun at him and remind him that he didn't pay me a single public compliment at our wedding. He hates that I do this. But he didn't mention me in his wedding speech! Am I the asshole, should I stop? ######

Response: YTA. It has been ten years. It is time to move on and let this “joke” go. ######


Prompt:
My ex and I were together in 2014 and we split because I made a mistake and cheated. He ended up getting with another girl so I went over there to get my things and it escalated a little and a tv was broken. She left him after that and we got back together in 2018.

Some other things happened and we split again. Now here in 2020 I was looking on his Facebook and saw he was getting married and had a baby on the way. That really hurts me as we had two miscarriages together and now he’s having a child.

So I called him five times in a row with no answer. Well about five minutes later a call comes up with his name. However it was a woman who asked me what I wanted so I told her I was coming back to my house to get my things that I left. She questions me how long we have been separated and I tell her a few years but I still have things at the house. She tells me that I’ve had time to come get the items and that (fiancé) says that there is nothing there for me and if I step foot on the property that the police will be called and that I have no business coming to their house.

It was my house with him. I told her I have every right to come get my things even if it’s been a few years. They are still my items. I told her to mind her business and I’ll just talk to (fiancé) when I get there and she says “no you won’t, you’ll talk to me and a police officer, don’t call him again.) and hangs up.

I called my family who tell me that I’m the AH in this situation and to leave them alone but I called him to go get my things not talk to some girl he knocked up and moved in. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. It *was* your home; it isn't anymore. Anything that is still there that you hadn't collected over the past couple of years are obviously not important items. Unfriend the guy on Facebook and get some therapy. ######


Prompt:
My daughter (33f) and I (51f) have a pretty strained relationship. We were out of touch for a number of years but have recently tried to start over fresh. She left home when she was at 17 to join the army. I was going through a separation, and then divorce, from her father. Before leaving, she was very unruly and hard to handle. So her father and I decided to sign her up for the army since she was underage. I still had a 16-year-old son at home to raise as well.  I told her that, due to her behavior, signing her up for the military was all felt I could do. I also mentioned to her that her behavior was the cause of my marriage falling apart. Her father was having an affair and didn't want her around. After her time in the army, our contact was sparse.

She has come back into my life with children and a husband of her own. I see her making a lot of the mistakes I made my children with her own. I think it is important that I remain in her life to help her make better choices. She has been resistant but overall it is OK.

One big sticking point is that she wants to be called by her first name. Growing up, we called her her middle name. She began going by her first name in the military and now goes by it all the time. To me she isn't her first name, she is her middle name, and I have having a hard time adjusting. I don't think it is a big deal if I call her the middle name out of habit. ######

Response: YTA. Is this a joke and are you a troll? You’re the biggest asshole ever. Sent her off to the army, blamed her for YOUR failing marriage? And she has still somehow let you back in your life and you cannot address her the way she wants? Damn lady not only are you an ass but I highly doubt you can “help her make better choices.” Lol. Do some soul searching. ######


Prompt:
My MIL is pretty narcissistic and I did not marry the golden child. She blatantly favors her older son and she is always condescending towards my husband because of financial issues. SIL (married into the family, not her daughter) and MIL are extremely close, like they go on girls weekends pretty frequently, on family vacation they stay up drinking together and sometimes sleep in the same bed, they play with each other's hair, and in my opinion the most uncomfortable thing was when SIL tried to pull off our MIL's bikini top as a joke.

We had family dinner for FIL's birthday last night and after dinner the two of them were laying in the hammock together, I wish I was kidding, sharing a lollipop. I told them that their relationship is creepy as hell and my MIL immediately started saying that I'm jealous and bringing up our money issues. Now my husband is furious with me for saying anything. ######

Response: YTA. Is their relationship creepy? Absolutely. Is okay to start drama with a narcissist? No. ######


Prompt:
I will keep this short.

I live with my girlfriend, we see eachother everyday.

Fridays and Saturdays I meet with the boys. That could be for drinking in town, in one of their houses, or just gaming etc. Less so with the current world situation, but we manage to keep it clean and socially distanced.

Now, every so often, she will try and say something like "I'm claiming you on the last weekend of the month" and this is usually before I have concrete plans with the boys, but if something comes up I will go with them.

This has lead to many arguments because I can't understand why she can't just pick a Wednesday or Sunday. Like...we live together. We don't have to meet up at the weekend or anything. We can do stuff anytime.

This time she actually cried, saying it wasn't about the fact that we can do something at anytime, it was about the fact that I never choose her over them. But...if they were to ask me to do something on a Wednesday and she had made plans with me, then I would choose her.

So I'm feeling lost. AITA for refusing to give my weekends to her as she could have any other day? ######

Response: YTA. Is she your girlfriend or your flatmate? ######