Prompt:
For context,
I am a relatively secretive person and don’t share much about myself or my personal things with my parents or friends in general. My parents are also similar and don’t like to share many things with their friends/ relatives.

Whereas my GF is a very open about sharing information with her parents. She shares basically everything with her parents.

The problem occurs when she tells things I have shared with her with her parents.

This habit of her has caused arguments more than once before.

The latest event was a straw.
Me and my girlfriend had discussed about my moms recent eye conditions and how my mom is not able to get medical help due to COVID-19 and all. I had expected this information to be between me and my girlfriend, but she ended up sharing this with her parents.
Since my parents and my girlfriends parents have started talking recently, it isn’t something that they would’ve shared by themselves and I thought it’s not okay for my girlfriend to share this information with her parents.
So I snapped at her for sharing this information with her parents.

Am I the asshole for snapping at my girlfriend? ######

Response:
 YTA
That is totally normal information to casually share with your parents. If you have an expectation that this type of information shouldn't be shared, you need to realise that your expectation is pretty far outside the norm. ######


Prompt:
I (M18) have been with my girlfriend (F17) for two years now.

Throwaway

My girlfriend is black and I am white.

I love her so much and her curly hair, I really love the way my finger gets looped in one of her tight curls, it's really cute.

Her and I are planning to get married and have children one day, so I thought I should study up on different hair types my future daughter/son might have. I want to make sure I'm able to take care of/do it.

My girlfriend usually puts relaxers and straightens her hair. That's her choice, but I found out while I was studying hair types is that can be bad for her hair type if done excessively (which she does). I told her about this, and she replied with "I know what I'm doing, my mom did this to me as a kid."

I really wanted to explain to her that is was bad and I've seen images of damaged curly hair. She still didn't listen to me, so I hid the straightener from her (I know, that was a dick move).

She told me I was being controlling and I shouldn't have a say in how she does her hair, which I would agree if she wasn't actively damaging it. She told her friends and now they are calling me an asshole.

Am I? ######

Response:
 YTA
I think you should apoligize to her properly. Sit down with her tell her why you did what you did. Tell her why it was wrong of you to do it. (It was controlling and kind of a bratty move). Then say sorry. Sorry for assuming you knew better sorry for trying to force her to stop sorry for not listening to her. At the end of the day it's her hair and you aren't allowed to mess with it without her permission. You aren't a bad person for caring about her hair health, but you made bad choices about how to deal with the conflict. ######


Prompt: My son (13) has an anonymous meme account on Instagram with a few k followers. He posts really offensive an in anti semitic memes on it apparently (I haven't look at it personally my wife/ his stepmom told me about it). My wife found it since she went to burrow his tablet  and she saw that Instagram on it. She got really upset over it and yelled at him for it (probably because she is Jewish), but I digress. He tried to soothe her by telling her it was a joke but she would not have it. She got even more mad when I told her to calm down and that it was just a meme page and that it didn't even matter because it was anonymous. She has been bitchy about it all day and we've been fighting since then. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

Your son is posting anti-Semitic memes, and you're telling your Jewish wife it doesn't matter?!?!
WTF? ######


Prompt:
Hi there!

My husband (29M) and I (28F) have been together for 6 years and married for almost 2 years.

In the entire time we have been together, I have told him that I do not want to have kids. Every time I have brought up the discussion, it will go something like this:

Me: So I know I’ve told you that I don’t want kids. How about you?

Husband: I don’t mind either way.

Me: That isn’t really an answer. Does that mean you will want kids someday?

Husband: No, it means I don’t mind either way. If I told you I don’t want to have kids, then I’d be lying, but if I told you I want to have kids someday then I’d be lying too. I just don’t mind either way.

Usually I was fine with this response but I brought it up again last night and he said the same answer of “I don’t mind either way” and I got kinda fed up.

It’s important to note that since getting married, we have been getting a lot of hints from both our parents about giving them grandkids. They would mention how they’re not getting any younger & neither are we, so we need to start with the baby making.

Neither of our parents have been told about my child-free stance, and I’m afraid that if I mention it to his parents specifically, he won’t support me. He has said in the past that our current plan is to just pretend we’re trying to have kids & are not getting pregnant. I would honestly be fine with this plan because it would cause a lot less heartbreak (in my opinion) to our parents as opposed to knowing that I don’t want kids at all.

My only issue is that I’m afraid my husband will go from “I don’t mind either way” to “I thought you would eventually change your mind and want kids” and that scares me. We have an amazing relationship outside of this and I mentioned to him last night that disagreements in this subject can lead to marital troubles in some couples and he said it’s not that big of a deal. I feel like I need an outside opinion on this so AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

You've asked him multiple times and don't trust his answer. You're basically asking "am I the asshole for not trusting his answer, based on absolutely no evidence what so ever?". You're projecting your own fears about not being assertive enough onto him. Not cool.

He hasn't betrayed your trust. You still have trust issues. You're asking us if you're the asshole for making your trust issues his problem by hounding him with the same question over and over again. The answer is yes. ######


Prompt:
I (26M) live with my girlfriend (26F) of two years in Paris. She’s French, and I am American.

My job is 100% in English. I can say a couple very basic French phrases, but that’s it. Nothing more.

My girlfriend is totally fluent in English as she attended college in the UK, so there is no communication barrier there whatsoever.

Recently, she’s been asking me to take French classes because the language is “important to her.” I respect that, but I don’t want to because 1) I work like 70 hours a week, so I hardly have time and 2) even if I did have the time, I just don’t want to. I am bad at language learning.

AITA ######

Response:
 YTA

You're in a different country, so learn more of the language.

Also. You are in France, have a French girlfriend--and yet expect her to use the language you want? I'm not saying to become fluent, but put in a little more effort for respect for the country you're living in and your girlfriend. ######


Prompt:
My (30) girlfriend (23) is having trouble sleeping lately. She has nightmares every night in a row for a week now and we don't know where they come from or how to get rid of them. She stayed over at my place yesterday and she moved and sweat a lot in her sleep wich made me to also wake up a lot and have a bad night.

She has been a bit on edge lately and not as calm and collected as I would like her to (and am used to). She told me it's because she's not getting enough sleep for over a week now and offered to not sleep at my place until it gets better (wich I don't want to because I like spending time with her).
Here is where it got critical: I told her, her blaming her bitch behaviour on not getting enough sleep is the same as a criminal getting drunk and doing bad things and blaming it on the alcohol. Alcohol is no excuse, neither is no sleep. And while her behaviour is not that bad, I don't want her to make excuses for her actions.
She simply raised her eyebrows, got ready for work and left without a word. She hasn't spoken to me since.
I didn't mean to harm her with what I said. I'm simply worried she will treat others badly because she's exhausted from her nightmares and get in trouble.
AITA for using this metaphor?

Tl;dr: I compared my gf being bitch and blaming it on not getting enough sleep to criminals using alcohol as an excuse for their actions and now she won't talk to me anymore. ######

Response:
 YTA

You're an asshole because you've made her problems all about you "whaaaa....her nightmares are keeping *me* up too!"

You're an asshole for ignoring her perfectly reasonable suggestion that maybe she shouldn't spend the night at your house right now. It's not about you wanting to spend time with her. It's about her not being able to sleep.  Again, it's not about you.

You're an asshole because you're ignoring the fact that all of a sudden your girlfriend is having nightmares, and that there might be a *reason* for that.  Has it occurred to you to be concerned that she's having bad dreams every night out of what seems to be nowhere?

You're an asshole for comparing her involuntary sleep deprivation and Nightmares to the choices criminal alcoholics make.

You're an asshole for not understanding  or caring how extremely important sleep is and what the long-term effects of deprivation can look like.

Basically....you're just an asshole. ######


Prompt:
Ever since we got married my wife has been insistent that we eat dinner together every single night. The clock strikes 7 and she is forcing me to do the same routine every day. We've been married for a year now and it's getting to the point where I dream the hour but I love her so I do it with a smile.

I am extremely invested in my Blender (3D rendering) hobby and I begin working at 5PM as soon as I'm off work. By 7PM I am in a perfect flow state, lately I've been making a ton of progress on a model I've been working on for months now. Last week I was working on it and 7PM came. I kind of went off on her about how I was sick of doing the same routine every day and that she is incredibly unsupportive of my hobbies. It seems like she finally got the message, and for a week now I've been able to focus uninterrupted in the evenings and it has been wonderful if I'm being totally honest. But there's clearly still an elephant in the room and I don't know if I should make another big scene since it seems to be the only way to get the message across to her. At the same time she hasn't said anything either so I think she might be OK with the setup for the time being so I'm not sure which one of us has the upper hand in this situation. ######

Response:
 YTA

You were already spending at least 2 hours per day on your hobby, immediately after work no less. Accepting that is hardly "incredibly unsupportive". You say that you're only just getting into a groove at that 2-hour mark, so I imagine you're now spending hours more at your computer.

I don't think anyone would be happy with their spouse coming home from work and then immediately hopping onto their computer for hours and hours rather than even eating a meal with them. ######


Prompt:
My 14yo son goes to a private high school. Very pricey and the vast majority of the families are loaded with money. Money is no object to them. My son happens to get a partial scholarship so I can afford his education.

A lot of the kids at his high school do a semester of studying aboard. Usually in Australia and Switzerland. My son's friends are going to do that in spring (yes, you can do this with the pandemic). My son begged me to let him go and I was open to it.

Until I saw the cost.

Over $10,000 to go to a Swiss high school for four months. I clearly do not have that kind of money. I don't want my son to feel ashamed about my not having the kind of money his friends' families do and  I feel incredibly guilty about it. I don't want him to feel ashamed.

I told him to forget about it because he would get bored, it's too cold, his mother would have to sign off for legal reasons and I can't find her, etc. Anything but money.

I don't discuss my finances with my son. It's none of his business and that's why I don't tell him the truth. ######

Response:
 YTA

You think your son doesn’t already know he gets less goods than his classmates? The best case scenario is he knows you’re ashamed of being middle class, so he’s learning that being middle class is a shameful thing, and he should be ashamed of growing up middle class, and poor people are just completely contemptible. The worst case scenario is he thinks you don’t love him as much as his classmates. You should really discuss so he doesn’t grow up with a horrible attitude one way or the other. ######


Prompt:
Hear me out pls!!

My (20M) girlfriend (20F) had started a facebook page about a year ago. She posts her own memes, random texts and art on it. It was initially not a problem and I was proud of her, even supported her by liking, commenting and sharing her posts to my page that was bigger at the time.

Recently her page gained a lot of attention and eventually surpassed my page's following. She started posting a lot more and she has been interacting with her audience 24/7. Since then she has stopped paying attention to me and will always be on her phone, replying to me with one or two words like "haha nice" or "okay". We still go on dates (weekly) that she usually plans, but she will still take up her phone every 1.5h or so.

Last weekend she brought cookies for me & my family and she planned on staying the entire weekend. During this weekend she kept picking up her phone and going to her page. At one point she went to talk to my parents and left her phone in my room and I saw the opportunity. I went to her FB and deleted the page & her profile so she can't recover the page.

She was PISSED when she noticed what i had done. I tried explaining that I was freeing her from social media obsession, but she didn't understand. She took her stuff and went home and hasn't talked to me since then, which is making me think i might have fcked up.

So, reddit....AITA?? ######

Response:
 YTA

You sound controlling. Prepare to get dumped. ######


Prompt:
I (27f) am an anxiety ridden hypochondriac married to an alcoholic (27m). He has almost entirely stopped drinking about 6 months ago because he started to get jaundice. I begged him to get his blood tested, which was a massive blow out, and he finally did about 1 month ago. The tests showed his liver was "irritated," but was not as bad as the doctor expected based on his symptoms and could certainly be healed.

This weekend he helped someone move for two days. It really took a toll on him (hes a big guy and always does the heaviest lifting), with a huge bruise covering the back of his leg, swollen ankles and bad jaundice. He also got very bloated, which I expect is ascites (fluid build up in the abdomen due to cirrhosis). His bruise is getting lighter but is still expanding, the jaundice comes and goes along with the bloating in his tummy.

I've been in an absolute panic attack, fight or flight mode since Sunday night. I'm losing mind. After extensive WebMD style research, I begged him to humor my crazy ass and go into the ER instead of waiting for another doctor appointment. 30 minutes after I make a disgusting soap opera mess of myself, he finally agrees to go to the ER after work but he's very upset.

 He said I'm making it worse by stressing him out, I need to get a grip on myself and he's worried about my mental state, and that I'm being controlling. I want to care about not projecting my anxiety onto him but right now all I can think of is what if I'm right? I'd much rather him be angry at me for being a total kook than him be happy with me but actually in danger. I also don't want to make things worse, like he said.

I don't know if I did the right thing, I'm just terrified and desperate. Am I the asshole? Do I just need to calm the fuck down and be a mature adult? ######

Response:
 YTA

You should absolutely encourage him to go to the ER if you have concerns but you also need to calm the fuck down.

He might be worried about it as well but you are taking up all the "space" in the relationship for medical worry. He can't ever express his worry to you because of your reactions and mental health. ######


Prompt:
For some context I (M30) have been staying with my girlfriend (F27) for about 6 years now. and in that time we built up a type of lifestyle where we pretty much do anything we want buy anything we want or go anywhere. So you could say it was somewhat of a lavish lifestyle. But when the coronavirus hit everything went to shit in the economy and I decided to rather leave my current work and start my own business.

she said it doesn't make sense and started to panic and I told her don't worry I have hundred thousand in my bank account and it should keep us going for 2 years without us having to compromise on our lifestyle.

she got so pissed because I never told her about the money I was saving and felt betrayed that I couldn't be honest with my finances. She said that if I had to leave her she would have been left with nothing and I would have been in a very stable situation without being affected by the current economic condition.

I just wanted to know am I the asshole for not telling her about my savings and keeping some of my financials to myself. I know that we stayed together for such a long time, but it's still the doom prepper in me to make sure that I have enough saved if anything bad happens.

Maybe I should have just kept quiet. ######

Response:
 YTA

You say in a comment that you lied about your income.

> I had a better income, but I lied about how much it actually was.

This makes you a huge asshole.

You share expenses with this woman. Decisions about what each person contributes to your shared budget need to be made jointly with full information.

You’ve been intentionally manipulating her. ######


Prompt:
First of all, my girlfriend isn’t mad. She thinks this whole thing is hilarious.

Anyway I was hanging out with my GF and her grandfather and some friends. He is like a sommelier or something and has been for decades at top restaurants. He’d had some bacardi, so i thought I’d play a prank on him.

I rant to a gas station and bought a bottle of Korbel ($15) and gave him a glass, telling him it was Dom Perignon($150), and that I wanted him to guess the year it was from.

He actually fell for it, and acted like he was some genius. I then gave him another glass telling him this second one was Korbel (he was drunk at this point) and he shat on it and said how crappy Korbel is.

When I told him they were the same, he got really angry later that night yelled at me for “humiliating him” in front of all my (age 19-22) friends.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

you purposefully embarrassed him for no reason other than that out of spite. it’s as simple as that ######


Prompt:
So my sister is pregnant and today she texted us (my other siblings and parents) that she and her husband will be having a gender reveal party in a couple of weeks. I’ll be honest I’ve always disliked the idea of a gender reveal party. It is pointless and IMO lame. I’m gonna love the kid whether it’s a boy or girl so having some extravagant party telling me the gender is just dumb.

Anyways ignored the texts while everyone else replied and said they were gonna go and a couple of hours later my sister texts again saying my name with a question mark.

I’ve been day drinking and for whatever reason her saying my name like that kind of upset me because she knows my feelings on these types of parties. I said she could just text me the gender of her baby and I promise I won’t ruin the surprise for everyone else. She said I was being a jerk then I said “look I think those types of parties are a waste of money and the people who host them are inherently dumb and narcissistic. And you’re always in debt so you don’t need to be throwing money around that you don’t have.”

Over the next hour I got calls and text from the rest of my family. Asking me what my problem was and why I can’t just be a happy person. Was I the asshole here? My sister doesn’t have a lot of money and put me on the spot. ######

Response:
 YTA

You might not agree with such parties (god knows I think they're ridiculous - and it turns out a fire hazard) but you didn't have to be an asshole about it.

Side note: any time you feel the need to preface a story with "I've been day drinking", it probably isn't a sign that you are going to be a lovable protagonist. ######


Prompt:
So my fiancé (m29) and I (f25) went grocery shopping last night for essentials. We were buying a lot so the bill came to around 200 dollars. We went to check out and told the cashier to split it between our cards. She said okay and the next thing I know, 100 cash appears under the total with 100 left. My fiancé paid and moved out of the way for my turn, but I'm still staring at the screen as the receipt starts printing.

The cashier looked confused then looked at the screen and at the receipt. "Ah my mistake! You owe your boo 100 girl."

My fiancé looked confused. "You charged it all to my card?"

"Yeah yeah see! I accidentally put it in as 100 cash so it charged everything to your card."

He looked even more confused. My several years of retail knew what she was saying was completely wrong. "So... you're saying we're good."

"Yeah yeah you're good! You're good! Just give your boo extra loving tonight." She handed him the receipt.

"Are you sure?" I repeated. "Yeah, yeah see? It says 100 cash so it's like you gave me cash but it charged it all to his card."

I just nodded and told my fiancé let's go. He kept looking confused. As we got out, I shrugged and said "Well she might be getting fired." I explained to him her mistake and he looked at me in horror. "We should go back!"

"Why? She kept saying we were good. I asked her multiple times. We're good."

He looked uneasy about it but kept walking to our car. We confirmed later only 100 was charged. I told my coworker about it this morning and she had that same uneasy look he had yesterday. She said she didn't know what she would do in the situation but looked put off. So now I'm starting to feel a little guilty. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

You knowingly stole 100 worth of groceries and someone else will be blamed for it.

Your boyfriend and your coworker have just learned something about your character and it's not nice. ######


Prompt: Hi y’all. I am married and we have two kids (6, 4) and I’m a SAHM. I have been a super mom for friggin years and the light at the end of the tunnel has always been side gigs and travel. Welp, travels curtailed cause covid so I’m stacking up side gigs. I have a booth at a local antiques mall and Im constantly on the lookout for stuff to pile in there and it is selling well. I also have an airbnb that I clean and manage and it has been slammed. Ive made about $40K this year hustling and my husband works super hard. He works for a union doing outdoor labor and makes like between $200-300K/year. He wants me to use the income I’m earning to pay b our mortgage for a couple months and take the pressure off him so he can take time off. AITA for keeping my income in a second bank account that is earmarked for travel (all together, as a family) when it become possible again? ######

Response:
 YTA

You have the attitude of "What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine". It's great you are able to get some side money but sometimes people who work really hard break mentally if they don't get a break. Your being unreasonable and making it clear you don't work as a unit. ######


Prompt:
I (18M) was in a pub in Paris France last weekend, and was having a good conversation with a girl I'd just met.

The bartender came around and said that they'd be closing in 10 minutes, but I didn't want to leave, so I thought to myself that if I ordered two pints for myself, he couldn't kick me out as I had still had drinks. So I order my beers, the bartender says You heard me say we're closing right ? I say yeah and he shrugs.

10 minutes later he comes and asks us to leave. I tell him I still have drinks, and he gives me a plastic cup.

I tell him no way, I'm a paying customer, I want to finish my drinks. He says in broken english "Either you take your beer to take away or I throw it away but in any case you're leaving."

I told him no way I am a customer and I will stay and finish my drink.

He then fucking knocked the glass out of my hand and fucking put his face super close to mine and told me in a super threatening way to leave. I didn't want to cause a scene in front of the girl so I did, but I left a very bad review on google. My roomate who is a bartender says I was a dick, but the way I see it he served me and therefore has to wait for me to be ready to leave I am a paying customer. ######

Response:
 YTA

You had fair warning they were closing. He even offered you a plastic cup. Don’t expect the staff to work late just because you want another beer. You are very entitled. ######


Prompt:
A while ago I took my family on vacation. We went to a casino, and I gave each of my children $50 to use before using their own money. My son lost all of it, but my daughter actually won a minor jackpot and walked away with a couple thousand dollars.

Last night, my wife showed me an Instagram picture of my daughter, who apparently now has a huge, ugly tattoo on her leg. I called my daughter to ask her how she managed to afford that, since rent in her city is high and she’s saving for grad school. She said she used the money she won at the casino.

I admit I was upset when she told me that, because I gave her the $50 she used to win. That’s my money, I just let her keep it. And she knows exactly how we feel about tattoos. We’ve told her multiple times that she’s not supposed to be getting any more tattoos. So finding out that she used MY money to get ANOTHER tattoo was upsetting for us to hear.

She was under the impression that offering to pay me back the original $50 makes it her money to be used however she wants. I told her no, it’s still my money, and since I don’t approve of what she’s spending it on I expect her to give me back however much her tattoo cost so I’m not the one paying for it. She hung up on me, and hasn’t answered any of the texts I’ve sent her since. She also hasn’t sent the money back.

I think I’m in the right, but when I told my brother what was going on he called me an asshole. So, am I really the asshole here? ######

Response:
 YTA

You gave her that money. Therefore; it isn't your money anymore, and you have no say in what an adult chooses to do with her body. It's nuts that you think gifts are retractable just because you don't like what a person does with it. ######


Prompt:
My brother started dating this new girl and I realized I recognized her from AA. I’m not an addict, but my lawyer recommended I attend some AA meetings to help strengthen my DUI case (and before you get on my ass for it, I made a mistake months back and got through it). I know it’s her because I remember her very unique name from the AA meeting and she also talked for a very long time.

I thought it was important to mention it to my brother is because I’m worried about her as a partner to him. In AA, she mentioned that not only did she use hard drugs, but also that she feels like she can’t control herself. She also admitted to drugs making her verbally aggressive and unstable emotionally, and at the time sue was not sober.

I know my brother, and I know that he holds himself and his partners to a high standard and that he hates drama in his relationship. I told him what she said and he broke up with her, and she basically stalked me and also called me an untrustworthy bitch who ruined her experience with AA. Honestly I think I was just trying to help my brother out, but some of my friends think it was messed up for me to tell him. But I think it’s better for him to know what kind of person she is ahead of time. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

You expect us to not hold a DUI over your head and you went and did EXACTLY that to somebody else? Nothing like holding somebody's past mistakes over their head when they're trying to get help. ######


Prompt:
Hey all,

My (F34) best friend's (F30) son just turned 8. I know him well and decided that he is old enough and responsible enough for his first gun. I got my first gun after all when I was 6.

So I took her son out for his birthday. I took him to an empty field where I go shooting; and gave him a gift. He unwrapped it and was excited to see that it was a brand new gun! I set it up and instructed him on how to shoot. He was livid!

When I dropped him home he ran excitedly to his parents. His Father was okay but his Mother was not pleased, saying that I had endangered her son. I explained to her that everything was safe but she did not want to hear it. I told her that she is being overly strict and denying her son enjoyment and learning of a key skill. She told me that I am being reckless and asked if I would give my 4 year old daughter a gun. I told her that I plan on doing so when she turns 6; and 8 by any reasonable measure is an excellent age to learn how to shoot, maybe even a little bit too late.

Her husband then took me aside and told me that he will try to calm his wife down and said he really appreciated the gift and lessons. He gave me the gun back and told me that he would try to secretly bring his son once in a while for shooting practice. ######

Response:
 YTA

You don't gift weapons to children without their parents' express prior approval.  No guns, no knives, no shuriken, no nunchucks, nothing. ######


Prompt:
I (hopefully) will be getting married this October to my amazing fiancé. We’ve been together for 4 years, since we were 18.

Over the past few weeks, my friends and I have done a weekly zoom call to gossip and discuss details. I asked them all to send me their intended hair and makeup for the day, to which they all did and I thought it was a reasonable request. All of them went for very similar, apart from Madeline. Madeline is the only one of the group who has hair past her chest, and due to the style, she wouldn’t be able to do the same style as everyone else. I gently suggested that she cut her hair to be able to do the same style as everyone else.

She asked if i was being serious and I said yes, that I wasn’t planning on asking but that it seemed a simple thing to do. My friends were all pretty outraged over this minor thing and now Madeline is saying she doesn’t want to even be my bridesmaid. It’s only hair, it grows back! AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

You do not ask people to change their appearance to be in your wedding. Being in the wedding party is about supporting the couple not being dolls for the couple to dress up. ######


Prompt: A bit of context , my daughter is 14 years old with no disabilities whatsoever , however , she’s extremely terrible at her schoolwork and often get low grades. My wife and I always tried to help her but she just won’t listen to us. So today we were eating dinner and I asked her to put rice on the bowl. Now , I do all the housework in the house , I also made dinner and I have to go to work everyday , so I’m practically exhausted and very annoyed with everything. So when my daughter dropped the bowl ( it’s made of metal so it didn’t break ) ,  I shouted at her at cussed at her because she couldn’t do anything right in this house. She’s extremely lazy and all she does is play video games . She got really upset because I told her she’s basically useless which is the truth , and she just left the dining room and told us she didn’t want to eat anymore. I was furious because I spent so long making dinner and she’s being very ungrateful. My wife was upset too but somehow she’s angry at me? She told me I didn’t need to shout at my daughter but my anger was justified since I do everything in the house and she can’t even do one little thing right so I have the right to yell at her. I don’t understand why my wife is angry at me since she should be angry at my daughter for wasting food and making me angry, I’m sure that I’m not the asshole but I thought I’ll ask reddit anyway , AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

You didn't just yell at her, you made her feel like shit, and in a teen's mind, you just told her that she will never be useful. She tried to help you, but instead you lose your shit? I get that you do the work, I do, but you don't just yell at your kid when they fuck up. And yeah! Your kid is going to play videogames all day because it is a fucking quarantine, she can't just go outside and play with friends! ######


Prompt:
So my friend has struggled with infertility for many years. I really feel for her and her efforts on becoming a mother. She told me that her and her husband in the process of adopting a baby. A girl a few cities over is eighteen and pregnant and has reached out to Facebook adoption groups in the area and they connected. The baby is due in December. She told me she’s excited to finally have her miracle baby.

I noticed on her Amazon registry that she had breast pumps and I asked her why. She said that she and her doctor put her on lactation inducing medication or something along those lines and she’s been pumping everyday three times a day and she’s been able to produce some milk. She’s hoping by the time the baby gets here she’s be able to produce enough milk to breastfeed.

I’ve never heard of breastfeeding adopted babies. I don’t know, the idea was just so foreign to me. I didn’t know medication could make you lactate. She went on to say it’s important for her to have that bonding time with the baby and she’s spoken to other adoptive moms that have done the same thing. I told her it’s a bit odd to me but I’m happy for her and she said I was making something natural weird. I said it’s not natural though and I didn’t meant to shame her and she called me an asshole and hung up. ######

Response:
 YTA

You didn't have to say anything about the thing that doesn't impact you one bit and on which you have no knowledge.

I'd never heard of this before your post, just Googled to see if it was real and my reaction is, "awww, that's awesome!" See how easy it is to not be judgemental and rude? ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend’s birthday was today, and earlier in the day I gave her the amount of her portion of the bills that are due by the end of the month. She asked if I could wait until she gets her first check from her new job so she still has some money because she said she didn’t have all of it, so I said that was fine, even though it’s almost 3 weeks away that she’ll get her first check.

Well after getting a few cards that were dropped off she had $400 dollars, and that would cover her portion of the bills with about $60 left over. I mentioned this to her and she said no, I said no I’m not waiting because now she has the money for the bills so there’s no point in waiting.

She got an attitude and said no, it’s her birthday money and that I’m going to make her birthday end terribly. I told her she’s acting like a child and that we have bills to pay. She kept saying that I said I’d let her give me the money by the end of the month, but I feel like she should give me the money now because she has it, she handed it to me but didn’t speak with me afterwards. Now she’s all mad and is literally packing a  bag to go stay the night at her mom’s. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

You can't tell her the bills are due by the end of the month (9/30) and then turn around and say they are due today (9/6). That's unreasonable. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I had Drew young; she was 17 and I was 19.

We struggled a lot especially when Drew started to act oddly but for the most part my wife took it in stride as she had a brother who has autism.

Some of Drew’s quirks are;

He will only eat with certain cutlery, he has his plate and bowl etc.

He has his space at the table.

He has his own routine and all of which my wife allowed, she’d do exactly what he wanted and he absolutely adored her for it.

I went along with it for the sake of peace.

My wife passed last year from complications from childbirth and I’ve still fed into these little quirks my son has despite him being 10 now.

Despite being 10 he’s mentally around 5-6? We noticed he was stunted around 4 when he hadn’t started to talk.

It’s like I’ve snapped into action and stopped coddling him but he’s obviously struggling with this and every day there’s a new thing he’s throwing a tantrum about.

My wife’s parents think I’m being an asshole for not waiting longer as he’s just lost his mother and has a new sibling, two major life changes and that I know my wife wouldn’t be happy for my behaviour towards him.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

You can't suddenly change a child's life so drastically...especially at a time when he is dealing with the loss of his mother and a new sibling.  This goes for any child.

Add in that he may have additional sensory and/  or developmental needs.

You don't mention any medical, health or well being input...has drew been assessed and or diagnosed, if so what do his care team think about your sudden and drastic changes?  How are they supporting you? ######


Prompt:
I took my son (8y.o) to the toy store today at the mall to reward him for doing well with his home schooling. While we were there I told him he could walk around the store and pick what he wanted.  I pretty much just followed him around.

This store has no music and due to size you can pretty much hear all conversations.

As my son is wandering I can hear what sounds to be a girl (sounds like late teens trying to talk cutesy to sound younger ) in the next isle. What she says really confused my son and I was mortified.

"Daddy,  daddy! Is so cute! I want it,  Pwetty Pwease!"

To which I hear a full grown man respond back with,  "Well, do you think you earned a new stuffed animal sweetie?"

The girl starts spouting off chores and I usher my son to cash out so we can leave ASAP.  However they get to the register before us and I can see that it appears to be a gentleman probably mid forties , clean cut and my suspicions of it being a teen was correct as this girl is clearly either eighteen or just hitting eighteen and dressed in overalls and Hello Kitty shirts and shoes,  babbling about how happy she is 'daddy' got to take her out for the afternoon.

My son is hyper focused on them and i felt that it was enough. I cleared my throat and said that I don't mind what people do in their bedrooms or private lives, but are they really acting out a daddy fetish in a toy store where real children go? I told them that my son doesn't need to see it and that she should talk and act her age. Not like a damn toddler.

The girl in front of me starts to cry and the cashier is staring at us and the man looks stunned for a moment before looking me dead in the eyes and said,  "She is my adopted daughter and she has a plethora of health issues, so how about you mind your business and fuck off."

I told my husband about this and he agrees that I was just trying to protect our son. But now I'm not sure if I was being an asshole or not. ######

Response:
 YTA

You built a mental picture of a situation, called someone out on it, and ended up very very wrong. That makes you an asshole.

You could have either not called it out and explained it away to your son, or just waited elsewhere if it made you so uncomfortable. ######


Prompt:
Wondering if I'm the one acting like an asshole girlfriend here.

I asked my boyfriend a week ago if he'd be okay with me selling pictures of my feet, as I was considering it. He said he wasn't becauseof the risks. (He also said there wasn't really a market for it.):

I get a few messages from men online asking if I'd sell foot pics, and I got one today that I showed him and said "see? There is a market for it". He said he was okay with me selling foot pictures, but since he doesn't think I can keep the creeps away and that I'm not grounded enough, he's not okay with it.

This made me want to argue my case so instead of accepting his no, I kept pressing the matter and saying "feet aren't that sexual" "I know how to stay safe" "I'm 20 and I don't have a summer job I just want pocket money". This went on for some time, until he said that if I sell feet pictures it'll be without him in my life.

(For context I feel I have to note that it's true I used to have difficulty keeping boundaries with creeps in the past, I used to feel guilty saying no which negatively impacted my life.) I want his help to get better, and he's helping me with it.

I feel like TA because i kept pressing the matter and making him frustrated. But on the other hand, I hoped he would listen to my arguments a bit more. ######

Response:
 YTA

You asked him and, instead of respecting his opinion, you start to push your point on him?
Definitly you are the AH ######


Prompt:
I love my girlfriend Celia, but I wish she had never signed up for roller derby.  WIBTA if I tell her that?

It all started over a year ago.  Celia wanted to do some kind of sport because she wasn't happy with her health.  And I thought she was going to sign up for the gym or sign up for a sports team through our college's phys ed program.  Well, turns out roller derby is kind of a thing in our city and Celia signed up for a league.  Okay, not what I had in mind but whatever makes her happy.

I've been fucking miserable since she signed up.  It used to be we would get take out and chill on Fridays but instead she is blowing off our chill time to go to practice or to volunteer at a game.  Instead of gaming or anime marathons with our friends, she is always out with these new girls she met in the league.  Its worse than she doesn't want to do these things anymore, she blows them off.

She doesn't want to hang out with our friends anymore (okay, they're more like my friends but they like hanging out with her). Before lockdown, she wanted to take me running late at night or early in the morning and she didn't want to do date nights that were dinner and tv or playing League of Legends into the predawn hours of the morning.  And since lockdown she's started to become more grossed out by me.  Yeah, I gained weight but this new lifestyle she has shouldn't excuse her sudden distaste for me.

And even if things hadn't gone to hell, she didn't even want to go to Comic Con this year.  We always went in the two years we were dating and the year before that.  But this year, she wanted to go to some roller derby convention in Vegas instead.  What happened to our tradition?

Well, we got into a fight earlier and she is staying with a friend.  I'm not going to talk about it but you can guess what it was about.

WIBTA if I tell her that I hate that she's doing derby?  I miss that quiet, nerdy bookish girl from when we first met.  I don't recognize this person anymore. ######

Response:
 YTA

You are upset with her because she has a hobby she enjoys, while listing the hobbies YOU enjoy that you feel she is neglecting.

She made her own friends. She’s healthier and happier and being social. Be happy with her or break up with her. It’s okay to be at wildly different places in your life and needing to break up, it’s not okay to expect someone to regress into unhealthy habits because it would make you feel better. ######


Prompt:
So for whatever  reason my 15y/o daughter has taken a real issue with saying “I love you” or hugs, I’ve spoken to her about it but she just kind of laughs it off.

I’ll say goodnight love you and she’ll say something like “Ha! Ok good for you” now I’d  take that personal if she didn’t also say it to my husband and her siblings.

She also completely rejects hugs.

I was picking her up from her fathers when he said see you later, love you, her siblings said it back but all she said was “yeah ok”

I don’t get it.

He went in to hug her and she dodged.

I apologised and said she’s just going through an awkward teen phase and told her to hug him goodbye, she got all awkward and some relatives who were at her fathers (stepmother, grandmother, aunt  and siblings) laughed at how awkward it was.

She stormed up to her room when we got home and called me a fucking bitch.

My husband thinks maybe I crossed a line and should apologise but I didn’t laugh? All I wanted her to do is hug her dad.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

You are teaching her that her personal boundaries do not matter. She doesn't have to give hugs if she doenst want to. The real issue here isn't what she is doing, its why she is doing it. That is what you should be more concerned about. ######


Prompt:
My best friend, Mia, has cystic fibrosis. The average life expectancy for cystic fibrosis is about 37, but Mias doctors don’t think she’ll get to 30. When we were kids and her CF wasn’t something I was hyper aware of, we agreed that we’d be godparents to each others kids.

I recently gave birth to a baby girl, and obviously due to COVID we’ve had no visitors to meet her, but I FaceTimed Mia from the hospital. She started the call with “let me see my goddaughter then” and that’s when I remembered the agreement that we made. Don’t get me wrong, I adore Mia, she’s my best friend, but it seems a bit silly to allow her to be god mother when 1) she probably won’t be around by the time something could happen to go wrong for me and 2) her quality of life would in no way enable her to look after a child.

I waited until we were home before I said anything to Mia and when I asked her if she was okay with it she said she was, but I got a text from her mom later that night asking how I can claim to be her best friend when I treat her like that. A few of our friends have also said I’m an asshole for taking something away from Mia that she’s been looking forward to for so long. I called Mia and asked if she was upset and she said that she really was, and that it was another thing she couldn’t do because of her CF. I sympathise with her but I said I wasn’t going to change my mind. She’s really upset with me now, along with our friends and her parents. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

You are perfectly capable of making legal arrangements for your daughter’s care in the event of your death with someone other than her godparents - it happens all the time.

Neither mine or my sister’s godparents were in a good position to raise a child, so my parents made arrangements with people who were while honoring people in our lives (some of whom didn’t have long to live) as godparents.

Your friend has a difficult illness with a poor prognosis. People do beat their doctors’ estimates all the time, so you have no way of knowing when she’ll die. But knowing that this is one of the things she’s looked forward to in the last years of her life and how much it’s meant to her, you are being cruel to deny her this honor.

You say she’s your best friend. I’d hate to see how you treated any friend you valued even less than this. If I was her, I’d feel betrayed and be re-evaluating our friendship. What an awful thing to say to someone.

YTA ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account for obvious reasons

My friend, let's call her Ellie, is a trans woman (MtF). She came out to me about two months ago and I was very accepting of her, however she was struggling to pick a name.

Recently she messaged me over Discord telling me that she had decided on the name Ellie. Ellie is an extremely common name in my area and there are 2 other Ellie's in my class. I told her that it would be way too confusing if she changed her name to Ellie and she got mad at me, telling me that it's none of my business and that she likes the name.

I told my other friends in my server and they all took Ellie's side, except for one person who said it's stupid for her to expect us to get used to her name so soon and it would be confusing if there were other Ellies in our class too. It eventually resulted in a flame war between him and the rest of my server so I just tuned out.

So Reddit, am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 YTA

You are overreacting. Who cares about the other two Ellies in your class? You aren't going to be in school forever. Grow up. ######


Prompt:
Y'all... I can't even explain how terrible these things are. He's making them right now. I hear him in the kitchen, and I'm scared. When I hear the metal spatula hit my cast-iron skillet, I know what's coming, and it fills me with dread.

He makes breakfast burritos. When I make them, I do it the right way:  Eggs, bell pepper, fried potatoes, sausage or bacon, and I wrap it up in a tortilla with cheese and salsa. Not him.... He first uses the metal spatula on cast iron, so he just scraps all the burning eggs sticking to the pan in with the rest of the eggs. He also uses WAY too much milk and butter with the eggs. Then he adds the salsa straight in with the eggs, which creates so much liquid that the egg can't absorb it, so it's just soup in a burrito. And then, THEN, the sick freak adds MUSHROOMS. 🤢

The thing is, he is so proud of these burritos. He's always like, "Turned out pretty good this time, didn't they?" But they never do! They... Never... Do. He's making them right now, and I'm hiding in the bathroom faking morning sickness.

So... AITA for not just sucking it up and eating them? ######

Response:
 YTA

You are letting him waste food.

Be at least a little honest. But be nice.

"Hunnie, I love how you love cooking for me, but the breakfast burrito recipe you use doesn't settle well after eating. Can we choose a different recipe together to try next because I don't want you to waste the food you are making for me?"

That's far better than faking being ill. ######


Prompt:
As basic as possible, nearly 3 years ago my daughter asked if I could help her with the deposit for the house she wanted to buy with her husband. It was expensive so I vocalized that I could only help if it were going to be a loan she'd have to pay back. She then opted not to buy that specific house and found another house which was suitable and could be covered by her husband's savings. That was that.

My son graduated from university last year and has been working ever since but recently he's been offered a higher position in another city. Coincidentally I actually own a house there (it was my best friend's old house which he gave to me) which I used to rent out but it's been gathering cobwebs since February. I told him about the problems with it and said he could have it though if he wanted and he took it. When I told my daughter about it she was unhappy and compared it to her wanting my help those years ago and I said no yet I'm giving my son the house cost free. The house was never bought by me though and was given (rather tossed) besides it being half way across the country. If my daughter got a job there, I would've also offered her the house free of charge. Aita? ######

Response:
 YTA

You are giving your son something that has a monetary value. Doesn't matter how you got.

Figure out how to treat both kids equally and stop making excuses. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway as my son browses Reddit

I have a son and daughter who are both in high school. Both the kids are in grade 9 we adopted my daughter. My son this year has done pretty well and scored one b. My daughter on the other hand struggled this year and got c and b.

So today during lunch my son wanted to tell me he got an a in his ap class. I knew this would upset my daughter and I told him he can't speak about his grades during lunch. He was angry. So after lunch I tried asking my  son what he got in class he said why do you want to know, you did not want to know the first time why should I tell you the second time.

My husband told me that I should have let my son speak during the table because daughter was eventually going to here from her brother what grades he got. My husband also told me I have to stop protecting our daughter because eventually she is going to here people got better grades than our daughter. aita for not wanting my son to talk about his grades in front of his sister. ######

Response:
 YTA

You are doing a disservice to both kids here. First, you are teaching your son to hide his accomplishments just in case they make someone else feel bad. You should be teaching him to be proud of achieving results from his hard work.

Second, you are shielding your daughter from even very slight possible disappointment/envy. Forcing others to tiptoe around her feelings is how you create a child who is spoiled and self-centered. ######


Prompt:
I was sitting in my wife’s office when she started talking about her friend who was going through a lot, I was sitting and listening.

Some context, my wife has had a wild past and I told her I don’t enjoy stories including men or anything like that. I wouldn’t talk to her about my past like that with her.

So then she said “We’d go out all the time. She was basically my wingman…”

And I said “Ok I’m leaving” and got up and left back to my office, and she followed saying she didn’t mean it

I just ignored her and she walked away.

It’s almost like if I was talking about a friend of mine and said

“Yea I feel for the guy, it’s a shame…we’d party all the time, he was my wingman.”

I mean, why’d she have to mention that?

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

Wow how insecure do you have to be to not be able to handle that mild a statement sort of alluding to hooking up.

It would be fine if you said it too.

And to walk out and ignore her is super asshole behavior. You made it seem like she had done something wrong. Which she very much had not.
You are not mature enough to be in a relationship. ######


Prompt:
My husband and I (60s) had already made arrangements to keep our 10yr old granddaughter (Lauren-not her real name) for 2 weeks this summer.  This isn't new.  Her and our daughter, her mom (D), have lived with us off and on for financial reasons and the father isn't at all involved.  We are very close with Lauren.  And D lets us know she appreciates the bond we have with our granddaughter.

The issue is D has changed her mind about letting Lauren come visit us (in a different state where we live and they used to live) at all.  She said after going to therapy she doesn't want to continue to sweep some things from her childhood under the rug anymore and wants us to own up to a lot of things.  She said she deals with the negative impact of her childhood every day and has been working hard in therapy.  She is very angry at me for fostering the negative relationship she and her siblings always had with their father (until they were 18 and older and he lightened up).  I basically made him out to be a bit of a monster to keep them in line.  He was home every single night and worked hard for us but I agree, was completely emotionally unavailable.  He treated them more like maids than his actual children, even calling them "dishwashers" instead of their actual names sometimes. We ask Lauren to do chores sometimes but we really do treat her like a princess.  The issue almost seems like we treat her too well!  D said we shouldn't be rewarded with all this time with her daughter when we won't own up to a lot of things in her and her siblings childhood.  I actually don't totally disagree with her but my husband is much more oblivious.  I don't think we can own up to what she wants us to own up to.  She mentioned WAY MORE than what I've told you here, but it hurts to admit it and I'm not sure of the word count I'm allowed here.  I had a horrible relationship with my mother growing up but I got over it and now we have a great relationship!  Is she the AH or are we? ######

Response:
 YTA

Why the hell would she ever trust you to be left alone with her child after what you did to her growing up? Actions have consequences. ######


Prompt:
My husband comes from a big family. His dad was married twice and has five children, and I'll admit it is kind of a tough group to break into but besides one sister, i love his family. Both of my children are very close to their cousins and we go a lot as a family. My son recently got engaged to his girlfriend of two years. We'll call her Jessica.

Like I said they family can be a little hard to break into. His father was a big outdoors man and had this kind of creepy cabin in the woods and the first time I stayed there his siblings convinced me it was haunted. I'm not even that gullible so they went to great lengths there, scared the shit out of me while I was in the shower, and I ran out half naked and crying. After that things got much better and I genuinely love them.

Jessica hasn't spend that much time around the family. My son goes to a lot of things without her, because she doesn't like big groups. Well we went camping recently with two of my husband's siblings and their children. I guess they wanted to initiate Jessica. Now after what was done to me this seems pretty mild, but they told her that my son was looking for her and that he seemed annoyed and he was in the clearing in the woods. When she went to look for him she got attacked with water guns/balloons.

Jessica was very upset and cried. I did try to be sympathetic, but it happens to everyone and I don't feel like she was being unfairly targeted. I tried to comfort her a little, but then I told her that she really needs to get thicker skin because my son loves his family. Well according to my son she thinks I'm an asshole. ######

Response:
 YTA

Why is it on the victim to toughen up instead of on the perpetrator to become a better person and be more considerate? ######


Prompt:
We rarely talk unless it has something to do with our kids. Lately our 12yo son has gotten "mouthy" at her and she asked me to talk to him. I found it ironic because she has always been a cold bitch to me lol.

I did talk to him. He's not anymore mouthy than any other 12yo. He said he didn't know she was mad because did not "look mad."

I told my ex "you can't blame him for not seeing how it upsets you with all that botox in your face."
She denied it, but I told her it was obvious and she couldn't move her face to grimace at our son. ######

Response:
 YTA

What's the big fucking deal? I get botox ,but that's not the issue here. The issue is how disrespectful you are to the mother of your child and I'm guessing you do not hold back words when you're around your kid. ######


Prompt:
Had to repost, exceed the limit

(M33) Just moved in with gf (27f) of 7months. Her mortgage is cheaper than my rent so seemed like a good idea.

She won’t let me have equal say in the house. She doesn’t want my furniture in the living room as her furniture is “better” and fits the rest of the house more. She was pretty snobby about my furniture because it’s from Ikea. I put her stuff on fbook market place to show her if we used my furniture and sold her we could go on a holiday or something.

Her dad wants her lawyer to make a contract so I can’t claim half her house if we break up. Which is rude. She agrees with him and got pissy when I said the house should be split 50:50. the deposit was inheritance money from her grand parents so it’s not even her money. She just got given it. Plus she’s only lived in the house for a year.

Her sister found my fbook post about the furniture so freaked out which made my gf freak out and she sent me to stay with my mum and won’t talk to me while she thinks things through. Her friends keep raging her in “white male apartment” memes which is petty and immature.

My mum has taken her side and I’m so frustrated that no one thinks I’m entitled to my fair share. I feel like gf is taking advantage of me. AITA for wanting what’s mine by rights?

TLDR gf won’t let me have my fair share of the house even though I’m going to pay half of the mortgage ######

Response:
 YTA

What fair share? It’s her house. Her inheritance is her money, it was given to her which makes it HERS. You posted her belongings for sale without her permission. Did you really think that was going to over well?

If she’s smart she will not only get a lawyer to make sure she doesn’t lose anything but she’ll also get a new boyfriend. ######


Prompt:
I have a 30 year old son who is married with two children. My wife is not allowed to babysit because she has Histrionic personality disorder. She has been diagnosed and she got therapy when the kids were younger. The way she has explained it to me is she cannot control her thought process, but she can learn how to act. She knows right from wrong but she does find it taxing to have to fake it all the time. I don't care, i love her for who she is.

Our DIL only knows about the personality disorder because my son told her and she acts like my wife is some sort of monster. She read up on the symptoms and said that she doesn't feel comfortable with my wife being alone with her children. Due to this we aren't interested in having much of a relationship with the kids, but we're nice when they are around.

My son recently lost his house and asked to move in. I said of course he can't move in, his mother is horrible and shouldn't be around the kids, remember? He told me that his wife was willing to swallow her pride and I said she should have done that 7 years ago. He told me they were homeless (really that means the four of them are sharing one room at her dad's) and I just laughed. My son thinks I'm a major asshole and I honestly didn't meant to laugh. ######

Response:
 YTA

Usually, HPDers end up dating ASPDers or NPDers.

It's clearly evident that this happened in this case. Your son is probably better off keeping his family far away from you both. ######


Prompt:
My DIL and my son just had a little boy a few weeks ago. When he was born my older grandchild called me and told me that the baby looked like her grandpa as they have the same nose.

My husband has stayed with my DIL and my son for a few months after I had surgery and had to stay in a nursing home for awhile since I had to recover. I’m home now and my husband is back home with me.

We went to see the baby and I mentioned to my son as to how much the baby looks like his father and he just smiled and said “he’s such a beautiful boy isn’t he?” I nodded and then my DIL came in and I said “he looks a lot like my husband” she says “genetics are weird aren’t they?” And then I say “very, since he looks nothing like you or my son but identical to my husband and he did stay here for a few months”

My son got angrier and asked if I was insinuating something and I told him it just seemed like an odd coincidence. He was so angry that he asked me to leave.

He isn’t speaking to me and my husband is also very upset with me and told me that I had little faith in him and that I need to apologize to him, my son and my DIL. I just find it odd he looks absolutely nothing like my son but identical to my husband. I have a right to be concerned and now they think I’m an AH. AITA for just questioning them about it? ######

Response:
 YTA

Unless you cheated on your husband, he is the father of your son.  That means half of his DNA came from your husband.  He can absolutely pass on features of his father that aren't apparent in his own appearance. ######


Prompt:
When my daughter came out as gay and asked me to walk her down the aisle, I told her I loved her but that I couldn't walk her down the aisle. My wife went to the wedding and my daughter stopped speaking to me.

A year ago, my wife died and my daughter said she wouldn't come to the funeral if I was there. I told her not to hold her feelings toward me against her mother. Her wife came, but she didn't.

The wife and I kept in touch and she recently contacted me to let me know that my daughter wanted to meet with me and make up. I said no. She said I was being unreasonable. I said that's fine and I hung up.

I've been getting mixed reactions. My daughter has been reaching out to different family members trying to get in contact with me. I asked my children specifically what they thought. It was split down the middle. Some were saying I should try to make up with her and the rest were saying I don't have to because she didn't show up for her mom's wedding.

So I called my daughter's wife, and she said, "Oh, thank goodness! Hold on, let me put your daughter on the phone."

I said, "No. I just wanted to call you to tell her that I don't ever want to speak to her again and to ask you her not to contact me again."

She called me an asshole and I heard my daughter crying in the background, but I hung up.

So AITA? I don't think I'll ever forgive her for not showing up to her mother's funeral. All because she was mad at me at the time. Her mother didn't do anything to her. ######

Response:
 YTA

troll or actually serious?  youre using this funeral as a petty excuse to be homophobic and unaccepting of your daughter ######


Prompt:
I went on vacation for a week and setup an autoresponder, for colleagues only. The autoresponder mentioned when I was coming back and gave instructions for who to contact in case of emergency. Finally, the message also said something along these lines: *"If this is really important, I would recommend you send it again after $DATE, since inbox is a LIFO queue and it'll likely get lost in hundreds of other messages"* followed by a smiley face. I thought it was an honest way to remind colleagues that email inbox is a s\*show and messages are likely to get lost. Besides, I do this all the time: I don't want to give people excuses to miss my emails so I use Gmail scheduled send when colleagues are on vacation or even to optimize hitting their inbox top when they're commuting to/from work.

I have heard backchannel that someone thought this statement was not professional.  I guess some people prefer to live in the fantasy that their emails get read when one comes back from holiday?

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

This sounds extremely snooty and unprofessional. Just take a day and go through your emails when you get back. I highly doubt you're getting thousands while you're away. ######


Prompt:
My SO and I are moving in together in a few months. We are going to find a new bigger apartment together.

 He has a cat. I'm not an animal person at all. I'm afraid of cats, dogs, ferrets, hamsters, you name it. I'm the kind of person that cries when a dog comes near me. When I'm over at his place, he puts his cat in another room so I won't be scared. I told him he'll have to rehome his cat before we move in together.

He was understandably upset. He believed  that he would be able to just keep the cat away from me...in our shared apartment. He suggested maybe getting a puppy instead because maybe i was a dog person but I shut that down too. I told him our place must be pet free.

 I told him my reasons and he said we could  work on my fear beforehand and it won't be a big deal. I told him absolutely not. I've been afraid of animals my whole life and it's not something that's going to change in a few months.

 I felt like he was belittling my fear. You don't tell people who are afraid of snakes or roaches or rats to work on getting over their fear so why is mine any different?

I basically told him it's me or the cat. I'm willing to not move in together if he really wants to keep his cat. He said it was really unfair to make him get rid of his cat and ban him from having any pets in our apartment. We're barely speaking right now.  Every time I bring it up, he says he doesn't want to talk about it right now.

AITA for telling him no pets in our apartment? ######

Response:
 YTA

This isn't the only ultimatum you've issued your SO either, this is your second post in ten days about putting your foot down and demanding concessions from him. I really hope he sees sense and puts more than a living room's distance between the two of you. ######


Prompt:
My gf was walking from work to her home today and wanted to talk on the phone. We are currently long distance because of the pandemic, so I'm kind of used to us talking through phone - the usual how your day went, venting about customers, me talking about my buddies, my games etc.

Idk why but after some time I just wanted to stop talking. Not sure if I just didnt want to talk or because I wanted to go back to my pc to play, but I decided to say goodbye to my gf. She went silent for a few seconds then told me she tought I will at least wait until she gets home.

I asked her if she has a long way to go still, because I'm right in front of my house and want to go inside already (I went to take a walk to talk to her) and then she went silent again, told me nevermind & added that she doesnt want to force me to talk for a three more minutes until she gets home if I really don't want to.

Am I the asshole for not waiting until she's at her home? I feel like she's mad at me or something. Usually she writes to me once she's safe at her place but this time I had to blow up her phone after some time and ask her myself if she's alright ######

Response:
 YTA

This is less about talking on the phone and more about her being safe by being in contact with someone in a real time setting while walking home alone.

If you dont always want to talk to her on her way home thats fine, but you should tell her this before you're her safety call for the day so she can plan accordingly. ######


Prompt: When I started dating my wife she had 15 year old daughter Lisa. Her dad was not in the picture. I was never tried to become her step-dad rather I was her mother's bf. My wife was homophobic when Lisa come out as lesbian she was shattered and disowned her. We had no contact with her for till now, actually Lisa tried she was even ready to leave her long term partner but my wife adamant that she is not welcome in our family. My wife died few weeks ago, I invited Lisa for funeral, she contacted me yesterday for her mother's inheritance. Her mother left everything to me from house to money. I told her as my wife don't think her as her daughter she is not entitled to anything. She left quietly after that but her partner send me message that I am an TA for not sharing anything with her. ######

Response:
 YTA

This doesn’t sound like she was even looking for money. How hard would it have been to give her a jewelry box and some photo albums? ######


Prompt:
I am a 28(M) had been dating my now fiancé now for 5 years. We live to gather. I pay 90% of our bills we have separate finances. Now IHave never ask my fiancé or even talk to her whenever I was about to make a major financial decision but I do get the input of my mother and father because my mother is my lawyer and my father is my accountant/financial advisor. So when it comes to something I want to do they look into it for me and let me know if it’s a good ideal or not.

My fiancé is always the last to know.
Now my father doesn’t like her father because my dad had a great investment opportunity for my fiancé. She asked her father who had no financial insight whatsoever and he told her not to. That stock blow up and could have made my fiancé a lot of money.

My dad thinks her fathers an idiot and should stay in his own lane. She doesn’t think my parents should be this connected to my finances. So I told her she shouldn’t worry too much about my finances because all my parents have ever done is help me make a lot of money. She call me an asshole and is giving me the silent treatment.

My Fiancé asked my father to look into certain stocks that she might be interested in. he found one that was very promising and she was all for it and one of her weekly calls with her parents she mentioned it in a father thought it was a stupid idea so she told my dad never mind he thought maybe she got cold feet happens all the time he wasn’t upset. She told my father that her father told her not to do it so my dad doesn’t dislike my fiancé just a dad.

Our bank account our separate I don’t know what she spents money on. I don’t ask what she spends money on. I don’t care what she spends money on. She doesn’t tell me either. ######

Response:
 YTA

They say only a fool has himself for a client. The next step of that has to be letting your parents be your lawyer and financial advisor. Would a random financial advisor that you worked with have gotten upset that your fiance didn't take his tip? I doubt it.

I wouldn't marry someone who's finance were in your position. ######


Prompt:
I (21M) have been with her (21F) for a year now.

Recently, she did something which many people would consider to be not the smartest decision in our current environment (social distancing). Anyway, she, as a very social college student did something monumentally stupid and hosted a party with about 20 people.

My girlfriend, this one guy, and I were all randomly assigned to the same breakout room during a zoom class. We both knew they guy, and he asked my girlfriend about it then proceeded to call her a "sluty bitch" for hosting a party when it was this dangerous.

 Now personally, I was very disappointed in my girlfriend for doing this, so when that guy said what he did, I didn't really say anything besides saying that that was kinda harsh but that my gf shouldn't have done that. That's what I said on zoom.

My girlfriend is really mad about me not totally defending her despite her being in the wrong action-wise.

So AITA for not defending her? ######

Response:
 YTA

They just subjected her to misogynistic slurs and you indirectly supported them by failing to call them out on it.

I agree her actions were irresponsible but they do *not* warrant sexist abuse of this kind.

If I was her I'd have dumped you so quickly your head would be spinning. ######


Prompt:
Some background info: My child is a high functioning special needs kid. He has problems with how fast he learns new concepts. 90-95% of the time he is in general education with minimal accommodations. My child receives a daily behavior chart for entire school day. On the back of the chart is a list of questions for parents to fill out daily and an area for comments or concerns.

My child’s special needs teacher wants me to fill out this form every day, but honestly I don’t feel they need to know some (maybe all) of the questions that they list. The reasoning behind this is clearly stated on the paper because they want to understand any changes in behavior that they see during the day.  She is only with my child a short period of time. And my child is verbal so it isn’t like the kid can’t speak up about any issues.

Some of the questions are about bedtime, where we went, what visitors we had, what we ate for dinner, etc.

I’ve always been reaching out with to teachers on any factors that may cause changes in behavior, but this seems excessive.

WIBTA for telling them how intrusive this list of question is and they don’t need to know such matters all the time? I know it seems like they mean well, but it rubs me the wrong way. ######

Response:
 YTA

They aren't asking these questions for the hell of it, they are asking them so that they are best placed to support your child.

You might not see the value in some of the questions, but are you specifically trained to know what stuff they need to know? You might reach out to them with the things *you think* they need to know, but that doesn't mean you won't miss something important.

Ultimately, these questions might help your son, and filling them in does no harm to you. So why not just do it? ######


Prompt:
This is my throwaway account.

My (37F) babysitter (16F) has been babysitting for me for about 2 months. She’s a very sweet and quiet girl and is good with the kids (4F and 8M), we’ve only had small problems here and there but nothing major at all. When she first started babysitting for me I had asked her if there were any drinks or snacks that she’d like me to keep at the house as she’s here from 9-7 every day Monday through Saturday. She mentioned that she really liked seltzer water and I had bought them for the first month, but honestly I forgot after a while and never kept any in the fridge. A few days ago I bought hard seltzer’s for me and my husband, and didn’t think anything of it.
A little bit after 2 pm she messaged me that she wasn’t feeling well and thought that she may have to go home, if it was possible if I could get off from work earlier. I asked her to try and hold out until the end of the day. Not too long after she called me crying, saying that something was wrong and she had to go home.
She was drunk clearly, she drank the hard seltzer’s. I told her to leave and she walked home.
She messaged me the next day and said that she now knew that hard seltzer’s were alcohol, and she hadn’t know, she never drank before as both of her parents were alcoholics and she has diagnosed PTSD regarding alcohol, she never planned on drinking in general. I told her not to come back as she put my children in danger. She called me crying and saying that she didn’t know, and that she cared deeply about my children and would never ever drink with them, or at all, and that she needs the money to pay for her drivers permit (she comes from a not so well off family). I told her to find a real job and that it wasn’t my fault she got drunk.
My husband says I’m being very rude and that she did try to reach out when she wasn’t feeling well. My kids are upset to see her go.
So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

These are very unique circumstances, because in literally ANY other case of intoxicated childcare worker, you’d be right. But she did every single thing properly in trying to be a good childcare provider. She reached out to you the moment things got weird and she didn’t feel entirely stable. Honestly, if we’re being literal here and following the course of events, *you’re* the one who put your children in danger. She asked to go home and requested you take over a bit soon, and you told her no, and in that moment when you said no you became the reason your kids were around an intoxicated childcare provider longer than they had to be.

She didn’t know, she needs the money, she’s done a good job and your kids love her. She followed all the protocol for being vigilant of her physical and mental status in regards to keeping the children safe, and that’s rare to find. She’s an excellent sitter, and you should rehire her and honestly apologize. ######


Prompt:
Today I was hanging out with my girlfriend for a bit at my place, and a friend of mine stopped by to help me out with something while she was making food.

Me and my girlfriend have a very playful relationship and joke around all the time about anything and everything.

As my buddy walked in, I told him my girlfriend was over and he asked where she was. I told him that she was in the kitchen where she belonged, making me a dinner. He laughed, and then I proceeded to yell over to my girlfriend quote: “You hear that _____? I told so and so you’re in the kitchen where you belong, making me a goddamn dinner.”

Well looks like that joke may have went a little too far because she ended up yelling at me, called me a dickhead, and left with the stove on. My friend kind of just stared at me in silence. I was confused out of my mind. We joke all the time and that seemed to set something off I guess.

I’ve tried contacting her to apologize but she hasn’t answered. I’ll try again tomorrow when things are more cooled off hopefully. I didn’t mean to offend her, it was just a playful joke like ones we’ve made before.

So tell me Reddit, was I the asshole here? ######

Response:
 YTA

There's playful and plain sexist and disrespectful

Even if you didn't mean to insult her, you need to learn the difference of what you can and can't say ######


Prompt:
So me (31M) and my wife (23f) have been together 3 years, married close to two. We started living together shortly before getting married, and she was super messy. Even before we moved in together house was a total mess. According to her family, they never taught her to clean so she doesn't know better.

It always got on my nerves, but she gradually got less dirty so it was whatever. Well we had a baby recently, and during the pregnancy she actually started to clean here and there. I'd usually comment on it like "wow, you're actually cleaning!" Or something of the sort because it was actually a shock.

Now, the baby is here and she's recovered and she's actually cleaning a lot every day. The other day she started sweeping, mopping, and vacuuming right after having breakfast, and cleaned the kitchen and the kitchen table then did the dishes. I said something like "man, I can't believe you're actually cleaning. I guess you finally decided to grow up and stop being a child now that we have an actual child" she got pissed off and told me to go fuck myself, then went to the room and ignored me pretty much the rest of the day. That was 4 days ago and she barely will talk to me and hasn't cleaned at all since then. So now I'm wondering AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

There was no possible good intent behind your words.

You were trying to be an asshole, and succeeded. ######


Prompt:
I (20/f) have a small group of friends and recently a new guy joined us (Jack). Jack is pretty friendly & cute but he has the most SEVERE stutter I’ve ever heard in my life. Tbh, it’s tiring to deal with it. My friends really like him and put up with his speech but I find it extremely difficult.

Whenever we all hang out and he talks, I just finish the sentence for him if he’s taking especially long to get there. For example he’ll say “I w-w-ent h-h-h-o-“ and I’ll say  — “home?”. My friends told me to stop doing that and told me in private that I’m embarrassing/ hurting Jack. However from what I’ve seen he doesn’t seem to mind it at all.

Btw Jack and I text each other and he asked me on a few occasions if I want to hang out 1 on 1 (probably Cos we have similar hobbies). The thing is, his stutter is 1000x times worse when he talks to me directly. There’s no way I can put up with that for more than 2 minutes. So I declined each time and he told me it’s fine.

Anyway a couple of days ago Jack was super excited and telling us that he won a prize in some writing competition he entered. But as you know, it took him a **LONG** time to tell us he won. So I basically finished his sentence while he broke the news which is apparently the worst thing I could’ve done. Literally all of my friends yelled at me to “SHUT UP” at the same time.

I was verbally attacked by everyone which was so hurtful that I just left. I had no bad intentions yet everyone is acting like I’m such a horrible person. Jack actually reached out to me and said that he doesn’t want me to be upset. Well I’m very upset but don’t know if I’m truly the asshole or not. ######

Response:
 YTA

The general group consensus is that they wanna let him speak. If you can’t wait for him to finish talking then maybe don’t be his friend or don’t hang out with him ######


Prompt: My dad and mum have recently moved (permanently) to sunnier shores and gave me the house. There's a whole lot of details revolving around that 'deal' which isn't really necessarily to mention for this post but long story extremely short, I'm on 'probation' for awhile and then it will officially/legally mine. The point is I'm moving in and since it's a pretty big house for one person, I told my mates that I was looking for someone trustworthy to move in with me and be my housemate. Told my parents, they were cool with it and gave me the thumbs up. I heard back that my sister's ex fiance (broke up over five years ago) was looking for a place to stay so I messaged him and manage to come up with an arrangement. He's an okay guy and pretty 'reserved'-ish like me so it's worked out pretty well so far. My sister came over just to visit and bumped into him. Things were awkward, he left and she bit my head off for hanging out with him then blew up after I told her that he's moved it. Said that I should've spoken to her and invited her instead since she would've loved to move back in. I wanted a housemate, not a sister. She's really mad at me right now and has been complaining about this to my parents. ######

Response:
 YTA

The decent thing to do would have been to talk to her before asking the ex about moving in. It's also their past and not up to you to decide if it's been long enough for grudges to be over. ######


Prompt:
So this has been getting to me still, months after it happened. I (20F) decided to get a boob reduction over winter break before going back to school in January. I have had back issues since I was a young teenager and my health insurance finally covered it (USA). I did not tell my bf of 1 year about it before or after I had it done. He only found out about it after I came back and was spending time at his apartment.

He was confused at first and when I told him that I had gotten surgery to have them reduced, he was upset that I never told him. He says it's not about the size, but that I had gone through major surgery and not told him anything while we were apart for a month.

AITA for keeping him in the dark on the issue? I was afraid of him trying to talk me out of it, so I didn't say anything beforehand. I feel like I had every right to not tell him, but I have doubts. We are still together now and it's not an issue (especially considering we have been apart for months now), but I still think about it. ######

Response:
 YTA

That’s a huge moment in your life, and like he says, you had a major operation. To freeze someone out entirely during something as serious as that is going to make someone feel like they can’t be there for you. Plus, you trusted him so little to accept your decisions that you thought this was the best approach - that hints at bigger issues with either yourself or the relationship that you should address ######


Prompt:
I (25f) was supposed to get married late April. Due to COVID, we decided to postpone. We've been postponing and finally our venue is opening up, but they've said we can only bring 20 guests. We originally had a guest list of over a 100 people, but due to the pandemic a lot of them backed out and said they'd attend over Zoom. We're down to 60 people now. My sister was one of those people. She was 2 months pregnant at the time (now she's 7 months along or almost), and said that she'd attend over zoom. I know she felt very bad, so she bought me my wedding dress as my wedding gift + apology present.

For a while now, BIL and her have been in the process of buying a new house. They finally moved in a month and a half ago. Their house is absolutely gorgeous. It has a pool and a tennis court. I know that she can get her pool covered, and removing the nets from the tennis court would open up a world of possibilities and give us so much space to work with.

She was unhappy when I brought it up. Apparently she didn't want people coming in and out setting up the place, then giving up a spare bedroom or two to me and my bridesmaids and having makeup artists come into her house.

I don't get the big deal. She can still stay inside and watch the ceremony over zoom, or even better- her balcony. I mean, this is the only way that I can get all 60 of my guests to attend, without cutting down more. I don't get why she doesn't want to compromise. She doesn't have to attend in person if she doesn't want to.

She said that she's already bought me my wedding dress, but I'm willing to pay her back for it in monthly payments if it means she'll let me have her wedding at her place. I can't afford the cost of the dress upfront. ######

Response:
 YTA

That is way overstepping boundaries, even for a sister. It is their new house, she is 7 months pregnant and you want to have your wedding there? On top of this, we are in a pandemic so you are potentially exposing her to COVID-19. You have got to be kidding. ######


Prompt: My Step daughter is 20 and recently single. She always has been a social butterfly to put it nicely. Her boyfriend left her over cheating rumours which I wouldn't doubt for a second. My husband and I don't share the same views and she's his little girl which is fair enough but I feel like she's too out there. She was only single for 2 weeks before hanging out with a new guy and I spoke to my husband about this and he told me to stay out of it and not say anything. I got angry at this as I liked her ex and I said she's became a slut ever since she turned 18. My husband is pissed I said this. AITA or is he overreacting ######

Response:
 YTA

Sounds like you're a bitter prude to be honest. As long as everything is safe amd consentual it isn't hurting anyone if she sleeps with the entire marine corps.

Mind your own business and focus on your own sex life ######


Prompt:
Hello reddit, my husband told me that I was an asshole for the way I acted but I don't think so. Please take a moment to read and share your opinion on this.

My daughter \[17F\] came to me yesterday and told me that she would like to see a therapist as her mental state has been down ever since she broke up with her ex boyfriend and she believes she has a major depressive disorder. Personally, I find it kind of silly to pay $100 just to see a therapist especially considering the fact that it’s completely normal to be upset after a break up. That’s not to say that she doesn’t have a major depressive disorder, but it’s unlikely. I obviously did not tell her that she is not depressed, but I did tell her that almost everyone goes through this moment during a break up and even I did in my teenage years.

My daughter still insisted that she would love to see one. The thing is, she rarely has open discussions with me, and it took her almost one week to tell me that she broke up with her boyfriend and that was only because I caught her sobbing in her room.

I believe that if she would give me a chance she won’t need another therapist because in the end, no one understands their daughters better than a mother. When I told her this she just said ‘fine’ and left.

I told my husband after I ended the discussion with her and he told me that I was an asshole for the way I acted since our daughter rarely opens to us and this was the chance I had to show her that I am always there for her and (he believes) I failed. I on the other hand think I acted pretty reasonable with her. What do you guys think? ######

Response:
 YTA

So, to begin, **YOU'RE NOT A THERAPIST**. If you were a therapist, it would be unethical for you to treat your own child. So you are both unqualified and wholly unsuitable.

> she rarely has open discussions with me

So you think you can force that to change? That forcing her to talk to you would help her want to talk to you?

> I believe that if she would give me a chance she won’t need another therapist because in the end, no one understands their daughters better than a mother.

As an independent outside observer, I can tell you with absolute certainty that you are one mother who sure as hell does not understand her daughter.

> I told my husband after I ended the discussion with her and he told me that I was an asshole

Yup. Yup to this. ######


Prompt:
My wife adopted a 12 year old boy. I participated in some of the process and was enthusiastic at the beginning, but things have changed since then.

We talked about summer camps and after school programs back during the adoption process, but since the pandemic the kid has been home 24/7. I start work at 7am and stop for dinner at 5pm, and then after that I have an online gaming team I have to practice with, and I'm trying to improve my painting too. Plus, I want to spend time with my wife. Since the kid is home all the time he is asking me to do things with him or explain my work to him, and it is difficult to focus at work, and on my own stuff or or my wife afterward.

I brought up potentially reversing the adoption, which I believe is a legal option, to my wife. She just stared at me and won’t talk about it at all. I’ve tried to bring it up three times now. I’m not sure the exact process but I think we should talk about it before the probationary period expires.

I feel like because this is not really what we expected it is not that unreasonable to have second thoughts. I read that 10-25% of adoptions are stopped at this stage so it's not extreme to think of it. ######

Response:
 YTA

So you want to return a kid because he’s home more than you’d like (through no fault of his own) and you don’t want to be bothered to do dad stuff, like answer simple questions about your job or spend time with the kid?

Yeah, you’re a dick. ######


Prompt: My wife is a full-time nurse, a mom of two young children and in school for her masters degree. I also work a full-time job and I’m training for a marathon. She pretty much lets me run whenever I need to and I occasionally get to hang out with my friends. She’s pretty good about not saying anything when I need to do what I need to do for work or leisure. The problem is she needed to study this weekend and I didn’t make plans because I had asked her how much time she needed to study and she didn’t answer me. Granted I asked her when she was already in bed because she had to be up at 4:30 in the morning. That was five days ago she hasn’t brought it up since. I didn’t make any plans and now I’m frustrated that I have to take the kids and find something to do while she studies. She blew up on me complaining about how she makes all the sacrifices and she’s just asking for a few hours of study time. I think she’s not being respectful of my feelings and the fact that I could’ve made plans had she told me she needed a few hours to study. Words were exchanged and I called her a fucking cunt. Well as you can imagine that didn’t go over very well. We got an a huge fight and I took off and left her with the kids for the day. Now she’s not backing down. I feel like she needs to be more respectful of my time and communicate with me how many hours she needs to study.  She thinks I’m being totally unreasonable. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 YTA

So you decided to come to reddit and whine about how your wife pretty much let's you do what you want and when she needed you to step up to the plate you're pissed about it.

Grow up. It amazes me people like you get married and have children. ######


Prompt: Soo as many of you have been doing in these times, I’m currently doing work from home. I have a wife and two toddlers (twins). I need silence to work and I don’t have a home office (we are in a smallish apartment, just enough room for the four of us). It has been slowly pissing me off because I am working hours and I hear noises such as my wife talking, watching tv kids playing from the other room. I have been VERY patient with them telling more than once that I need 100% silence to focus but even if they are trying to be “quiet” I still hear some noises (kids, walking around, making food, cleaning etc.). I got fed up with it and told my wife off, I’m the one working in this family and paying for everything. The least they can give me is peace and quiet while I do my job. My wife is a stay at home mom and it’s her job to be silent and shut the kids up. If I don’t have complete silence, I cannot work and therefore could lose my job. My wife on the other hand doesn’t appreciate any of it. When I wasn’t working from home she would ask me to do chores after work and take care of the kids when I am obviously very tired needing to wind down and relax for the night. Then when I’m off on the weekend, I’m still expected to help out. I would remind her that that’s her job as a stay at home mom, but she refuses to listen to me because  “it’s my kids and my home too”. It hurts that she doesn’t appreciate how hard I work or my feelings. I do my part by supporting this family financially, if it wasn’t for me we wouldn’t have a roof over our head, or food to eat. But despite me voicing my feelings she not only has the nerve to disturb my work but also expect me to work more afterwards. My wife is angry at me and refuses to back down.  The worst part? She claimed that *i* don’t appreciate *her*. Honestly, AITA?? I work very hard and I feel like I deserve to have my feelings considered. ######

Response:
 YTA

So much so I wonder if you're trolling.

You can have total silence at home, *or* a family with young children. Pick one. Oh wait... you did. It's not realistic that anyone can keep toddlers silent all the time. You need a serious reality check.

Also, if your work is confined to business hours, your wife's should be too. Caring for kids is work, you seem to have missed that. And the reason you are able to work full time is because your wife is stepping up to care for your children, for free I might add. She isn't your maid. You still need to do household chores and upkeep. Just like childfree and single working people do. You cannot demand to restrict your work to 40 hours a week and keep your wife working on-call as an indentured servant 24/7.

Finally, your wife is right. You don't appreciate her. If you maintain this attitude, she will likely and justifiably leave you for someone who does appreciate her and her contributions to your family.

You sound extremely entitled and like you have a lot if learning to do. ######


Prompt:
I have a step sister, We are both the age of 16. So today I was in the room with my girlfriend watching a movie, Then she just completely bust open my door and starts yelling at me in front of her “You fucking idiot! Learn how to put the toilet seat down! Omg you are so dumb” then storms out my room. I was so embarrassed that she did that in front of my girlfriend.

I waited for when my girlfriend to go home, Then I went in her room and asked why did you do that in front of her? You could’ve waited, it was no need for you to cuss me out in front of her. She just ignores me texting on her phone, So I snatch her phone and say “You dumb bitch why would you embarrass me like that?! I would never embarrass you like that if you were hanging out with your boyfriend. BEFORE you sit down on the toilet check dumbass, it’s not my fault” then I dropped her phone on the floor and left her room. I don’t see how it’s my fault she should look before she sits down on the toilet. ######

Response:
 YTA

So are you embarrassed now that your gf knows that you don't put toilet seat down?
Why is it so hard.. surely you dont flush the lid open right?

Sometimes embarrassing is way to get message thru. ######