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https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-ella-g-save-yourself/

Ella G Save Yourself. ♔Alice♔ LET'S JUST SAY I'M SO BORED, I'D RUN THROUGH THE WOODS JUST FOR FUN.   And with that, I quickly got ready, wrote a note for my parents, and got an apple to eat on the way. I first checked the weather, and it was at least 28 degrees, and I didn't really care if it was Fahrenheit or Celsius. I just wanted it to be good day, not too cold for winter, but just warm enough for me not to get my ears numb and cold. This time, I wore my black jacket, black jeans, a black pullover that had white bold lettering saying, "REBELLIOUS OR NAH," and my socks. I gathered my blonde hair into a side ponytail, and sat down to read a book. I was thinking if Kat wanted to come, but I think she's still asleep.   After a while, my bored self let loose, and I almost texted her...But I didn't. Not yet, anyway. After the 438th page in  "War and Peace" , I put the book down, and went to watch T.V instead. I played Netflix, and found a decent movie to waste my time on. Oh Netflix. You saved my life. And by that, I meant from boredom. I was watching  "The Interview" and I was kinda grossed out at the weird parts and the part where Aaron's fingers were bitten off, though. I shuddered, but got through with the movie. Turns out, it had a good ending. But, I wasted an hour watching it, and I'm still deciding about texting her. "Desperate Alice. Oh, desperate Alice," my mind sang. "Shut up," I thought. As I killed time, I walked around the house, and the neighborhood, and realized it was snowing. I pursed my lips in frustration, but I didn't want to cancel my plans. So, I let it be. By then, I saw my parents' car pulling out the driveway, and I waved.  I sighed, and a puff of white air came out of my mouth.   After the snow got a bit heavier, I ran back inside and sat down and thought for a moment. About random things....like goats in wedding dresses and leprechauns as British philosophers. Active imaginations and their steady stream of dreams and things that might never happen at all. But, I pushed my wandering brain's dreams and imaginations off and watched another movie. Soon enough, I got bored as usual and listened to music.       ☾Kat☽ I WOKE UP, AND MY HEADPHONES WERE ALL TANGLED IN MY FINGERS, ALONG WITH MY HAIR.   As I untangled them, I changed and stuff. Socks, leggings, and a pullover. I went the bathroom and did my morning routine. As usual. I stared at my reflection, and added my thick, black eyeliner. It adds a bit of effect, anyway. I knew my parents weren't home because I didn't see their car, and they said they'd be at a soccer game yesterday. I checked my phone, and not so much of notifications came. I shrugged, and went to look outside and day dream. If I could.  "Hmm. Kat as a famous metalcore singer? OR MAYBE KAT AS A FAMOUS LAWYER?!"  Metalcore. Or law. I don't know. I mean, I love metalcore, but I've broken some laws. Some stealing, jaywalking, and yeah. Bad influence alert, I guess.   I went out in the cold, no jacket, and just stood there in the cold and snow.  At first, I thought I was crazy. But, I saw the sky, gray and white; and I couldn't even tell if the houses' roofs and the sky were one or not. After a while, I walked back home, and fixed myself a cup of hot chocolate and a palmier.  I checked my phone again, still thinking she would text me some time. But, I knew she would. I mean, I was obsessing over the fact that I finally met her, and I know she was too.  I mean, yeah. Right?     I got my headphones, and plugged in into my phone, and listened to music. I went to my room, and flopped onto the bed, and closed my eyes.  I was about check the weather, but when I looked outside, the trees were frosted, and the sky completely covered with snow. I checked the weather, though. Looks like it was going to snow, but it'll snow and snow, until 2:12. It was 1:30.     ♔Alice♔ I TEXTED KAT REALLY QUICKLY, BUT I DON'T CARE. I WANTED TO TEXT HER.   After 15 or 18 minutes, she responded. I'm guessing she was either taking a shower, still asleep, ignoring, or busy. I bit the inside of my cheek, and pushed the thoughts away.   Wanna go outside? I'm bored out of my mind.   Sure. But not until 2:12. It's still snowing. :/   Mkay. I'll be waiting outside near the forest.   Gotcha.     Aha. I waited until 2:12, and I ran outside near the forest. Kat was there, looking pretty as ever.  "Let's go." She said. I nodded, and we walked into the frost forest. The sky was as gray as ever, and the snow was littered with brown, crunchy leaves and some bottle caps here and there. After a while, Kat was looking around, and would look at some robins, and they would fly away once they were looked at. She frowned, and we walked away from the robins that were in the branches.  Then, a branch snagged my jacket, and as I was trying to let it loose, Kat stifled a laugh.  I scoffed, and she laughed a melodious laugh.   I smiled, and I finally got it loose. I pushed the branch away, leaving me and Kat in silence. "So. Pretty forest, huh?" She finally said. "Yeah, I guess." I replied. "You don't talk much." She glanced at me.  2 minutes passed, and silence settled in. I exhaled, and said, "What's there to talk about?"  "How we can get rid of this. We can talk about freaking society and their suckish theories and useless information and gossip. Or about funny moments," Kat said, "or about ourselves and stories." I laughed, and we started talking about random things instead. "Umm, Oh! I remember when I didn't have this...thing, my sister, Vale, she ran to the mailman, and scared the shit outta him by screaming right in his face. The poor, pudgy guy fell backwards onto the grass, but there was dog shit!" we laughed out loud, the frost falling off the branches. "You're pretty fun to be around," I told her. She looked at me, and said, "You too."    ☾Kat☽ I GOT A TEXT FROM ALICE, FINALLY, AND CHECKED IT AFTER A WHILE.   I didn't hear the chime, since sometimes I put notifications and shit on silence. She texted me about going outside, and I replied if we should go at 2:12, when the snow storm stopped. I changed already into a pair of soft, red Aztec patterned leggings, socks, an black PTV oversize sweater, and a jacket. We agreed, and when 2:12 arrived, I jogged outside, and met her at Elm Forest. She looked pretty, her white blonde hair camouflaged, but beautiful with the snow. She looked a bit misplaced, her clothes all black, like mine, but her white hair on the side; but I still thought she was beautiful. Her eyes were outlined with black, her brown eyes shining.   "Let's go." I finally managed to say. She nodded, and we walked into the forest, sometimes following the trail, or sometimes going to other areas, away from the trail. I mean, Elm Forest is HUGE. Like, BIG huge. Ginormous! Alice and I were mostly silent, and I finally talked. "Pretty forest?" I know, I know. Stupid question. But, I wasn't going to waste my time here without talking, something I never got to do. "Yeah." She said. "You don't talk much, do you?" I asked. "What's there to talk about?" She replied, after the horrible silence left. I thought for a short moment, and responded. After a moment, we talked about funny things, and moments, and random little bits and pieces.   "You're fun to be around." I told her. "You too." She said, looking at me. I looped my arm through hers, and we laughed and talked all the way to the little lake. I grabbed a handful of little rocks, and tried skipping them.  Alice was pretty good, her aim was a bit off, though. I stifled a giggle, and she scoffed, "Excuse you." She said, pursing her lips, her smile held tight. I burst out laughing, and she laughed along. It finally felt like the disease or thing wasn't there at all. ♔Alice♔ IT WAS PRETTY FUN, BEING WITH KAT.   But then, something happened. I knew Kat sensed it too. I held her arm tighter, and I looked around, being careful not to lose my balance on the dock's rails. Kat stepped down slowly and carefully, with grace, and she helped me down too. The snow fluttered slowly around us, lazy and careless. I saw a shadow dart across the forest, and Kat's eyes widened.  The shadow stopped in front of us, and it spoke in a hoarse, raspy whisper. " You shouldn't have met!"  Kat stepped forward, and the shadow backed away a bit. "And why is that, exactly?" She asked, her chin pointed a bit up, in a prideful way.    "It wasn't meant to be, of course!"  The shadow laughed in a hoarse whisper. "Who acres? Why don't you leave?" I managed to say, my voice wavering a bit. "Well, that isn't really going to happen, dear Alice."   My hands almost made me want to punch the freaking bastard, and Kat loosened my grip on her arm, and held my hand tight in her hand. "Go. Away. We don't care. I'll literally kill you if I could. And, I would, anyway. What're you going to die from? Light? Or humans?" Kat said bravely. The shadow hissed, it's purple slitted eyes narrowing, and it disappeared, leaving Kat angry, and myself comforting her.   "THAT LITTLE BASTARD! Why the hell did it leave?! Was it freaking scared? God!" Kat rambled on, walking fast ahead of me, and I caught up to her, and held her fist. "Let go," I told her. "Just open your fist, I fell like you're going to punch the shit out of a tree, saying if they had shit." She pursed her lips, and opened her fist, and we held hands until the weather became a bit too cold, and we put our hands in our pockets. I walked home with her, and she asked me if I wanted to come over. "Sure, why not?" I said.  ☾Kat☽ THAT SHADOW OR GHOST, OR WHATEVER MADE ME ANGRY.   Alice calmed me down a bit, and she ended up coming home with me. We watched a few movies together, played Truth or Dare, had staring contests, watched YouTube videos of people failing and stuff, and well, it was fun.  We exchanged different songs while playing cards, and she had really good ones. "Heard Green Day? Or Asking Alexandria?" I asked. "Mm...I only heard one Green Day song, and six Asking Alexandria's," she responded, pursing her lips. "You sawk," I told her in a phony, ghetto voice. She scoffed, and put down a spade. I put down a diamond, but we didn't care who won. We were only bored, so we put down random cards and shit, and saw who got the most sum, and stuff.   "Bored of cards yet?" I asked her. She nodded, and I put the cards back into the box. "Truth or Dare again?" She offered. "Yeah." I said. "Truth or Dare?" She asked. "Dare." I responded. "Uh..I dare you to get me a soda." She told me. I narrowed my eyes at her, and she laughed, while I got a soda. I playfully punched her arm, and we went on playing the stupid game. Until I asked her to express her feelings..about me. And let me say, it was fascinating and exciting. ;]   Alice stared at me, punched my arm playfully, and said, "O-kay. Um...I like you..a lot...uh..I think you're pretty hot...uh-" "I'm not that much of a lesbo." I laughed out loud, while she punched me again, scoffed, and started again. "Okay. Um, you have GREAT music taste. And beautiful hair. And a pretty nose.." We both started laughing at that one, and our stomachs pretty much hurt after. It finally felt like that ghost wasn't even there, anyway.     Publication Date: May 30th 2020 https://www.bookrix.com/-sedfc4e6728a225

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-kaylyn-gregory-jeff-the-killer-039-s-story-2/

Kaylyn Gregory Jeff The Killer's Story 2 Back! Chapter 1: Back!       Hours later after Kaylyn left Jeff's life less body He came to and when he did he was yelling "KAYLYN NO DON'T!" He ran as fast as he could trying to get back home breathing fast and hevy but that didn't stop him he went as fast as his legs could cary him.    Kaylyn was back at the manshion sitting in her room laying on her bed with her face in the pillow cring her eyes out as Eyeless Jack walked in. Eyeless Jack sat next to her asking "whats wrong cutie I've never seen someone this upset before and also were's Jeff? He isn't back yet" she sat up next to him as she put her knees up and baried her face into her knees. He put his arm around her as with his other hand lifted her head up and tuned it slightly to get a better look of her. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead "Now come on tell me what has you so upset you can tell me anything I'm here for you whenever you need me." Kaylyn looked at him with tears rolling down her face even knowing she finely stoped crying. She opened her mouth to start talking but she couldn't bring herself to say anything she then leped forweard wraping her arms around eyeless jack and started to cry softly.    Jeff fanily made it to the door he cought his breath and said to himself I have to stop her from doing it....   He swung open the doors and ran across the hall up the staries and busted down Kaylyn's door. He then walked in yelling 'STOP KAYLYN DON'T DO IT!" As she held a knife to her wrist to cut and have eyeless jack to kiss the cuts. He walked over to jack and punshed him in the face so hard that he fell to the floor as Kaylyns eyes widen. She got off her bed and huged him tight as she softly cried saying "I thought you were dead?!" He stared at Jack saying "I wasn't dead I can't die also its my job to love and keep you safe not this Jerk! I was just passed out as a cut on my arm bleed like crazy." Kaylyn then replyed with " then how come you didn't bleed out?" "Just the thought of you my love for you Kaylyn will always keep me alive. As long as you live my love I will always be there for you." Jeff said          Back To The streets Chapter 2: Back To The Streets   Slenderman took Jeff to a room to put more blood in him because he did loss a lot when he was pased out. When jeff had enough blood in him and was all better he asked Kaylyn if she would like to go hunting again in respons she yelled "FUCK YAH! Who wouldn't want to go hunting?" He laughed at her respons "haha your so funny my love."    They went out hunting before they started the blood bath they sat on top of a building descusing their plane. Kaylyn gave an idea but Jeff didn't want to risk it they then got into a big fight about it making Kaylyn walk off and as she walked away she yelled "DON'T FOLLOW ME DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" For an hour or so he sat there thinking to himself what did he do wrong?    Kaylyn was walking with nothing to defend herself with. As she walked by some teenage boys they stoped and turned around saying to Kaylyn "Hey doll face why are you alone?" she turned around to say "noun of your buisness you pervs" they all laughed as one of them who seemed to be the leader grabed her bye her waist and pull her in close saying "Haha I guess little doll face knows what we're up to on this siglrnt abandend night." He started to pull Kaylyns shirt up as she screamed as load as she can    Jeff still sitting on the roof starting to stand up so he can go back to the manshion hered the scream. He looked in the direction Kaylyn went He yelled "KAYLYN I'M COMING!" just assumng it was her. He ran down the stright untill he saw the teenage boys messing with Kaylyn he took out the two friends of the boy trying to undress Kaylyn. The boy didn't notice until jeff held his knife up to the boys neck and said "You beter go to sleep and leave my lover alone." As he then slit the neck of the boy and picked Kaylyn up than took her back to the mashion.   When they got back no one was there Jeff set Kaylyn down on the couch. He looked around for them makeing sure they wern't trying to pull something. When he looked all over and saw no one he sat by Kaylyn and hel you close and tight as he started to cry and say he was sorry. Kaylyn was confused as she pet the back of his head and said "why are you sorry baby?" He answerd saying "you almost got raped do to my stupidy" as he looked up at her with tears in his eyes. She looked down at him saying "Jeff baby its okay I shouldn't have walked off its my fault." Jeff said "but its my faul I shouldn't have listen and I should have fallowed you anyways." "Awe baby no don't worry its okay I'm here and I still love you." Kaylyn said as she than kissed him. They then feel asleep on the couch together.    The next morning When Jeff woke up Kaylyn had just walked in covered in blood and out of breath.            What Happen!   Chapter 3: What happen!   Jeff jumped up Syaing "What happen to you Kaylyn?" She looked ast him I was out with my dad hunting for little kids. Than we came across two girls and they fought to the deth it was a blood bath. I got covered in the blood when some how my dad stayed clean. I don't understand how he does it because everyone and or everything he has ever killed never gets all over his clothes. If your worried than its okay I'm fine ok no need to worry honey. *tilts her head to the right and smiles with her eyes held shut like what you sewe in an anime.*    She than fell back on the couch as Jeff stared down at her. Jeff began to talk when Kaylyn sat up and kissed him "now what were you going to say hun?" He shook his head and said "its nothing important don't worry about it." *She had a worry look on her face* but she still just said "otay if you say so."        Publication Date: October 23rd 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-ph35bf26d19ce45

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-athene-minerva-february-20th-2016/

Athene Minerva February 20th , 2016 The start of an end     M… mother D… daughter F… friend FW… parademic P… Dr G T… mysterious woman N… nurse C… mysterious guy   (M in a sad and desperate tone )   M: You suck as a daughter ! Why did you cut yourself again ? I thought we were over this phase ! D: I told you that it’s NOT a phase !You keep hurting me and wonder why I hurt myself.   (D runs in her room and hides under her blanket ) (M follows D) (M in a sad tone)   M: Honey, I’m sorry.What hapened , happened. I’m sorry that I made you cut yourself again.   (D sobbing)   D: I’m sorry won’t make anything better. So stop apologizing . M: Well, why don’t you say something? D: I did! But you would just be annoyed and it actually doesn’t matter how many times I try to explain you that what you do DOES have a vey terrible effect on me , but you would just FORGET it !   (M sighs)   M: I’ve got my own problems too . How many times do I have to explain you this ?! D: And then you think it’s alright to just leave me alone and let me suffer day by day , just becuase you treat me badly , which reminds me of the time I got bullied ?! I might be having a panic attack at the moment and the ONLY thung YOU see is me CRYING ! THINKING. IT. IS . JUST. A.PHASE?! I know that you’re not a psychotherapist and I know that you can’t put yourself in others perspectives , but I have ALREADY explianed you EVERYTHING! I told you how it feels like when you and/or my brother treat me badly . Your ´jokes´ might not be rough for the both of you but they eventually ARE for ME. I’ve spent days and hours explaining you that evrytime you do or say something that affects me badly , I’m always about to start cutting myself again. These conversations would last three hours , always. YOU JUST DON’T CARE IF I MIGHT KILL MYSELF OR NOT !!!   (M gives D a strict look)   D: Stop giving me this look! It won’t help me anyway if you punish me! M: What am I suppoesed to do ? D: YOU SHOULD HAVE LISTEMED TO ME IN THE FIRST PALCE !   (M sighs and rolls her eyes )   D: Now you’re rolling your eyes! You really want me to kill myself , don’t you ?   (D gives M an angry look) (M slams shut the door) (D continues sobbing for hours) (A few hours later , M enters D’s room)   M: You’re still crying ?! Stop it ! Do you want me to run all over the place with you , just to look for a psychotherapist ?! D: Mom , I told you that I WANT to become less depressed but YOU just DO NOT MAKE IT POSSIBLE ! M: Damned should be the day I married your father !   (M slams shut the door)     THE NEXT DAY –   IN THE CLASSROOM –   F: Hi , how are you today ? D: I’ve been better but thansks for asking (D rolls down her long sleeves until her fingers) (F giggles)   F: Why are you rolling down your sleeves ? Why are you even wearing a t-shirt with long sleeves ? It’s summer !!! Show off your body , you’re beautiful!!!   (F smiles at D)   F: C’mon .Roll them up.Or.. Or just take it off !   (D in a low tone)   D: I’m not wearing anything underneath. F: Well then roll up your sleeves . It’s hot !! Aren’t you sweating ? D: No . F: C’mon. Just.Roll. Them. UP: D: Noooo. F: Come ON !! IT’s not THAT hard, see ?   (F garbs D’s wrists and rolls up the long sleeves) (F stares shocked at the injury at D’s wrist)   F: W… W… What’s that ? What happened to your wrists ? D:Nothingggg. (F looks worried at D and sighs) (F is paralyzed by the view of the cuts on D’s wrists) (Silence enters the room for 30 seconds) (D starts feeling uncomfortable) (D sets her look on the door)   F: You know if there’s something wrong you can ALWAYS –   (F grabs D’s hands)   F:You can ALWAYS come and talkt o me . We can go to Starbucks or we can go tot he park. Everywhere you want to spend hours with me talking. I’ll go with you. D:You won’t understand.   (F sighs louder than before)   F:Look. I see that you’ve cut yourself, ok ? That’s NOT ´ Nothing ´. Stop lying to me . There’s SOMETHING that upsets you so much that you’ve hurt yourself THAT badly !   (F grabs D’s wounded wrist up for her to see her own scars)   D:Stop pointing it out. F:I’m REALLY sorry if I’m embarresing you and I’m sorry if this situation makesyou feel uncomfortable –   (F hugs D)   F:But I. AM. YOUR . BEST . FRIEND. And I’m worried about you.   (F hugs D again)   F: You did it quiet deep … You’ve tried to ill yourself …   (F has a lot of tears in her eyes . She is breathless) (D rolls her eyes which are filled with tears of embarressment) (D in a sarcastic tone)   D: Well, WOW ! Look at WHO made an ´EINSTEIN-CONCLUSION´ .     (F holds back tears , lets accidently one tear roll down her cheek and whipe sit off ) (D rolls her eyes again) (F lets D’s wrist harshly down) (F runs out oft he classroom , sobbing) (D hides in a corner oft he classroom an couldn’t help but start sobbing too)   AT HOME –   M : Honey, what happend ? Why are you crying ? What’s wrong ? D: There’s no point in EVEN EXPLAINING what happened. You WON´T understand it anyway .   (M desperately)   M: What am I supposed to do with you ?   (D ignores M and slams shut her room’s door) (D screams out of the top of her lungs) (D shouts to M)   D: I’ll take a shower. I’ll be fine .   (D goes to M)   D: I’ve just had a bad day, sorry. I’ll take a shower to relax. Don’t worry about me , I’ll be fine. M: Sweetheart , you can talkt o me . If it’s one of your classmates who made fun of you or something , then I – D: It was nothng. I just missed the bus amd was late for school.That’s it. M:But why are you cr- D: It’s depressing to miss the bus , ok ?   (M looks cofused at D)   M: I’ll talkt o you when you get out oft he shower .   (D whispers)   D: You mean IF .   (D goes back to her room)   D IN HER ROOM –   (D thinks loudly)   D: Where’s the f*cking razor ? Or should I take a STANLEY KNIFE ? No , no , no .. The razor blade will do it too . A stanley knife would catch too much atention.   (D puts the razor blade between her ironed clothes in which she’ll change afterwards)   IN THE SHOWER –   (D starts sobbing) (D thinks loud by herself)   D: First M and now F ?!They just motivte me to kill myself.   (D giggles)   D:They don’t even know what they are doing to me.The yydon’t ven know what their stupid actions can do to me .M does’t even care about my past.She just ignores the fact that I got BULLIED.As if ignoring the problem will make it disappear.   (D takes off her clothes ,fills the shower cabin with hot water and gets in) (D takes the razor) (D cuts at the same place multiple times until blood poors out.She cut sdeeper and deeper and each time she feels the numbness overcoming her) (D takes a seat on the ground of the shower cabin)     D:I just need ONE person who. ACTUALLY. WILL.Under..stand me. and. take. CARE of me. SOMEONE who…wat.. watches out his or her actions … To NOT … put me back …Into my ´bullying-times´ … But who would do that ?! HA !! NOBODY !!! Nobody would watch out … the way they talk … or act … JUST TO NOT HURT A BULLIED VICTIM ?! HA !! Nobody cares about me. Not even F. I thought that maybe SHE would watch out what she says … That she might have talked … in ANOTHER tone … About my wrist . Or that she would react a little bit NICER … At least … She just EMBARRESSED ME , even though nobody heard us … That’s JUST NOT a way of talking to someone who is SUICIDAL.   (D puts the razor blade on her throat)   D:It’s just one way . Just ONE TRY . If I do it CORRECTLY , then that’s good . But if I SCREW it up , then I’m SCREWED !!!   (D pushest he razor deeper in her skin)   D:It’s just … ONE WAY .   (M knocks on the door) (D cuts her thoat accidetly quite deep up to her collar bones.) (Litres of blood start flowing) (D knocks with both of her fists against the walls´) (Barely breathing, D tries tomake a sound but she just CANNOT !!!She touches her throat and continues sobbing by the view oft he amount of blood she is loosing . She CAN’T breath … Fighting for her last breath to shout : ´ I’m bleedig ! My throat is bleeding !!!!´ She’s even fighting to say :´ Ambulance !´ , BUT SHE CANNOT !)   M:Honey , why are you taking so long ? You’ve spent more than an hour in the bathroom do far . When are youu planning to be getting out ?   (M waits for an answer but doen’t get one and starts becoming worried)   M:Are you … OKAY ?   (M waits again for an answer but unfortunally doesn’t get one again) (M breaks the lock AND SCREAMS . Her EYES are wide open . H er daughter . Her ONE . AND . ONLY . daughter … is sitting on . the ground of the bathing cabine. Her whole body is covered in blood , starting from her throat .Blood continues to escape the wound . Her daughter is DEAD !!! The girl doesn’t move . M screams out oft he top her lungs , sobbing)   M: MY DAUGHTER IS DEAD !!!!!!!!!! MY ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS DEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDD !!!!!!!!!!!!   (M turns around to stop seeing her daughter’s dead body) (Suddenly M stops sobbing. She’s interrupted by a familiar noise … It’s a noise she NEVER expected to hear it again … HER DAUHTER’S VOICE) (D whispers with her lasting energ)   D : Amb … nce … A … bulan …   (M storms out oft he bathroom , grabs her phone and dials the number oft he ambulance and describes the situation . After two or three minutes , two parademics knock on the house’s door)   M: Bathroom . She’s in the –   (M points at the bathroom’s door and the parademics enter it)   M: But she’s naked .   (The parademics look at each other and the female one dares to enter the room . She takes a nearby towel and covers the girl’s body from the chest to the knees and carries her on her arms out oft he room)   FW : Her cut is deep . We have to take her to hospital IMMIDIATLY !!   (D is being carried tot he hospital)   IN HOSPITAL – (M , F and everybody D knows surrounds her bed , including the doctor)   Dr. : I just managed to stitch her cut . She’ll stay here for a long time and will get a full-time therapy. My friend and collegue Dr. G will keep an eye on her and she’ll also be her psychotherapist fort he next months . This doctor has done a great job with similar cases like these . I know what I’m talking about if I tell you that she’s in good hands .   (Dr glances at M)   Dr : Dr, G’s recommendation ist o isolate her for a while from everyone she knows . To keep her concentrated on herself for a while.   (M interrups the Dr)   M: But I can’t just leave her alone. I need to SEE HEEER !   (Dr looks furiously at M)   Dr: According to her –   (Dr looks at D)   Dr: You were the one , ma’am , who made her feel THAT desperate to do that .   (M stars crying)   Dr: This gilr needs a lot of rest , so I would ask you all to leave this room . NOW !   (The crowd full f sad faces leaves the room) (D manages to cry herself to sleep)   AT THE SAME DAY –   (The psychiatrist Dr G enters the room , takes a seat near the bed and starts taking notes) (D wakes up) (D glances at the psychiatrist and rols her eyes)   D: Who are you ? P: Good morning ,I’m Dr. G , your psychiatrist . You were brought yesterday afternoon to us . You had an open wound which we luckily managed to stitch .   (P tries to smile at D but gives her a sad look instead)   D: Stop looking at me like that ! P:You’re lucky , you know ?   (D in an annoyed tone)   D: NO ! I’m not otherwise I wouldn’t have killed myself . Or almost did it .   (D rolls her eyes and sighs)   D: Anway. What are YOU writing ? P: Nothing imporant .   (D and P remain in silent for a moment)   (D whispers)   D: I want some coffee … Please .   (P smiles at D)   P: Sure ,I’ll get you some .   (D stares at the open window)   (P enters the room with a cup of coffee) (D with a calm voice)   D: It’s beautiful.   (P looks at the same direction as D)   P: What do you mean ? D: The sky . It’s so bright …   (P gives D the cup)   P: Here you are. D: Thanks. P: How do you feel now ? D: Better. P: How do you wanna answer ? In full sentences or with yes and no ? D: Yes and no . P: OK.   (P takes a seat on a chair next to D’s bed)   P: So … Yesterday afternoon , the 21st of October , you tried or almost did kill yourslf , right ?   (D keeps admiring the beautiful sky)   D: Yes .   P: You did it because you’ve had a bad day , right ? D: Yes . P: Do you keep having bad days on a regular basis ? D: Yes . P: Can I assume that you get bullied in school ?   (D starts crying) (P hands D a tissue)   P: Do you have enough energy to tell me what hapened ? D: No , but I could write it down …   (D looks at th papers at P’s thighs) (P hands D some papaers and a pen) (D sits straight and puts the papaers on her thighs and starts writing)   P: I’ll leave you now , okay ? I’ll come later and see what you’ve written .   (P smiles at D) (P leaves the room and D starts writig)   She writes : Yes , I indeed killed myself today and yes I am lucky that my mom found me on time .I’ve been bullied since the age of 5 years . I was in Kindergarden back then . There was a girl and this boy… They insulted me everytime they saw me . Then there was another girl who beat me up because she wanted to play with the same barbie doll as I . The kindergardenaunt heard me screaming but didn’t do anything … When the girl finally finished , the kindergardenaunt saw us and ordered me to give her the doll . She didn’t even ask me if I was ok . She also didn’t yell at the girl for pushing me or let her sleep as a punishment… She ignored what happened and continued doing what she was doing . Eversince I’m not the same … I’m terrified of her …   (D stops writing and sighs) (D continues writing)   Later in life , I got beaten up by an older boy .. I was 8 I guess… After school I would go to a place where I can do my homwork and play with other kids ( as old as me or older ). When everyone was finished with their homework we would go tot he park and play with a chaperon . At this day , it was a man and I was the only girl in the group and the rest were boys . The chaperon found that it was a bright idea to play with the boys at the end of the park and let me play all by myself . Suddenly I saw lots of older boys coming at my direction . Then they made a huge circle around me and one oft hem got into the middle . He was OBVIOUSLY older than me . Maybe he was 12 back then . Out oft the blue , I felt his head hitting mine . The boys went tot he side and let me walk. I didn’t cry right away … I had tears in my eyes and when a few boys from my group asked me what’s wrong , I told them and cried . The chaperon heard what I said and yelled at them . That was just when I was 8 . By the age of 10 it got WORSE . When I was 10 . I had to suffer the absence of my father . Until THIS day I CANNOT believe that he ACTUALLY IS DEAD ! I’m 18 now and still have faith for him coming back . He had kidney cancer . He married sick ! Can you believe that ?! He passed on th e 5 th of May in 2008. In September 2008 , I had to go to Junior High . I was a nerd in Primary School with straight As . There was the following problem : 4 months ago my father passed away . All of sudden , I was very quiet .Like , you wouldn’t even notice my absence . People would just think that I’m shy … But I wasn’t shy , I have social phobia … I still have it … Nobody concidered that I might be suffering because of my father … They noticed me gaining weight and would order me to loose it again … They never ask why I do this or that … In elementary school I was 1m50 cm ans 40 kg … With 11 years I weighted 50 kg … I looked round . I had to repeat the 1 st form … I didn’t know HOW to study . All I could remember ist ha my dad would sit next ot m and my brother in the livivg room for Hendess hours and he would order me to do this and that . I really HATED this time and was GLAD as we finished. I also wondered how I gained ALL of this weight . He would also wach my food and tell me WHAT to eat … I didn’t know WHICH food would make me gain weight and I also had NO idea HOW I continued having such a petite figure … I repeated the 1 st form because of maths ! I went from being a nerd in elementary school (with straight As) to having an F !!! I. WAS . SHOCKED . Just a few months ago I had super good grades and now I HAVE . TO . REPEAT ?!?!?! It might soud fuuny to you if I tell you that I don’t know how to study , but THAT was what got me LOST !   (D falls asleep) (A nurse enters the room and checks on D) (The nurse smiles at D and leaves the room)   -THE NEXT DAY –   (Someone knocks on the door) (A dark dressed woman enters the room and D wakes up) (D looks at the smiling woman)   T: sshhhh   (D rubbs her eyes to make sure she wasn’t imagining this woman) (Suddenly the misterious woman disappears and Dr G enterst he room)   P: So … You’ve been writing , I see . How are you doing ? D:I’m ok … P:You look so confused . Is everything alright ? D: Yes … I just saw this woman who disappeared as you came .   (P holds in for a moment)   P: Good … May I see what you’ve written ? D:Sure but I’m not finished yet .   (P smiles at D)   P: It’s ok .   (D gives P the papers) (P takes the papers and starts reading) (After a moment P puts down the papers and seems breathless)   P: So… Do you have enough energy to talk about it ?   (D nods her head) (D has her eyes fixed on the papers and stumbles)   D: He died by kidney cancer and I started overeating .   (D sighs)   D: I went from 40 kg to 50 kg in a short amount of time .   (D sighs)   D: I had a HUGE belly . The weight gain didn’t stop . After I’ve repeated the 1st form , I got REALLY good grades . I had this girl in my class who had no religion . My classmates bullied her . They would get annoyedby ANY word she said .   (D stares breathless out oft he window and gives P a hand sign to give her pen and papers   THEY HATED HER !!! WITH EVERY WORD SHE SAID SHE GOT CRITISIZED !   (D shows P the papers)   P: Is this the way you wanna talk to me ?   (D nods)   P:And what did you do ?   I sat next to her but she didn’t really like me … At first at least …There was one time me and her were alone and we talked about our English teacher , which the both of us hated . After that she kinda started liking me .   P:How did the class react ?   In the beginning I tried to pretend to be someone else so they’d like me but then they found out that I was lieing , so they hated both of us . But the girl who they hated first didn’t even dislike me …They turned against us …   P: How did they turn against you ?   They would tell us to go away and be distanced . They wouldn’t involve us in anything … Me and the other girl sticked together but weren’t close friends … Not yet … Still in 1 st form , she motivated me and was happy for me ...   P: Did this change ?   Things got worse in 2 nd grade when this girl came as a new student in our class .She kinda looks like a man and is a muslim and is from Egypt … Like me .   P: Well , doen’t this sound good ? You being in a class with a girl who speaks the same language as you ? She is of large built so isn’t that good if you need someone to protect you ?   (P smiles at D) (D shakes her head)   No, that’s not good !!! THAT’S NOT GOOD AT ALL !!!!   (P stops smiling)   P: What about the class ? How did they react when they first saw her the first time ?   I guess they liked her in the beginning but during the school year they hated her .   P: Why ? What did she do ?   She would annoy the teachers by shouting out THE WRONG ANSWERS WITHOUT EVEN RAISING HER HAND !!!! She just wouldn’t shut up . No even in break time . She’s always the loudest one in class . She is also stupid ( in her behaviour ) . She didn’t have good grades but with my help she got better . She kept having good grades but this doesn’t define her cleverness . Good grades only show how ambigious you are and how much you actually enjoy studying . You only know how clever or stupid someone is by their behaviour . Not only how they behave around your parents but also how they act on the street and in school .   P: Said once a wise woman   (P smiles at D)   P: You are very wise for your age. D: Thanks .   (D smiles back at P)   P: How did she treat you in the street and around your parent ?   In school : badly In ront of my mom : fake   P: What did she do to you in the street ?   I remember one time she insulted a very bad word in Arabic . She was like : You know what ? You’re this and that . I was walking behind her and we weren’t the only Egyptians in the street . I was embarressed but one year later , she and another girl did worse things. I’ll talk about the other girl later .   P: You told me that your psychotherpist diagnosed you with social anxiety . Tell me more about it . Were you born with it ?   No , I wasn’t born with it , I developed it over the years . It all started when I was I was 11 years old. I was weirdly quiet . Then , when I was 12 , I raised my hand and … I said the wrong answer and the class started whispering about me .   (D sighs)   D : I’m done . I won’t talk or write .   (D stares at the white blanket which covers her lower body .She sits and stares at it and doesn’t make any sound. She doesn’t move at all.) (P worried)   P: What’s wrong , sweetheart ? Was this too much for you ?   (D remains silent)   P: I think it’s better if you take a shower and relax for today . Let me call the nurse.   (P leaves the room and a nurse enters)   N: The Dr told me about what you’re going through. You’re really brave , my kid .   (N touches D’s shoulder and smiles)   N: C’mon , let me make you ready for your shower . I brought som lavender candles . I promise you to make you feel relaxed today .   (N smiles at D) (N puts one hand around D’s waist and the other one behind D’s neck .)   N: C’mon sweetie , let’s go .   (D makes her body heavier so she won’t be carried)   N: Girl, you ain’t thst heavy . Stop making yourself heavier than you are .   (A few tears roll down D’s cheeks as she whispers)   D: Now you’re saying that I’m fat ?! N: Girl … The only thing I said was that you make yourself heavier than you are . You ain’t fat !! You look DAMN fine with your petite curves !   (N pushed D’s hair aside from her eyes)   N: Whoever told you that you’re fat is just jealous . You KNOW who you are and you ain’t fat ! Lord knows , maybe THEY are fat and can’t handle the fact that you are better than them .   (D gives N a sign with her hands to come closer) (D whispers in N’s ear)   D: They said it f a few times in a row. One said that I’ve gained weight and the other said that I’m fat. N: Who said that ? D: My aunt and my uncle …   (N holds D’s face with both of her hands)   N: Poor kid .   (A tear escapes N’s eye)   N: This pain is written all over your face …   (N sighs and hugs D tightly)   N: I won’t leave you .   (After 2-3 minutes N decides to leave D alone , who cried herself to sllep on the nurse’s shoulder) (N lays D down on the bed and covers her with the blanket) (N whispers while standing at the door)   N: The angels are watching over you . May they and the great power oft he Lord protet you , my kid. You’re safe here , I promise .   THE NEXT DAY –   (N with a bright smile)   N: Good morning, sunshine . How did you sleep last night ?   (D with a huge smile , giggling)   N: Seems like you’ve slept very well as I see.   (D nods grinning) (N takes a seat on D’s bed near her legs)   N: Tell me EVERYTHINGGG ! D: Well.. It was a dream , but it felt sooo real … N: Now you GOTTA tell me !! D: I was at a park , I guess and then I met this handsome guy … N: Do you know him ? D: No , but I feel like I know him from somewere … He seems so familiar to me … I don’t know why… N: Did he talk to you ?   (D in a high pitch voice)   D: Yeeeessss … N: Dr G recommended you to take a walk to get some ernergy .   (D grinning)   D: Kayyyy.   (D changed her clothes and takes a walk in the nearby park .) (She makes eye contact with a good-looking guy) ( She is thinking )   D: He’s looking at me !!! I’m dying to talk to him !   (The mysterious guy approaches D and smiles)   C: Hey !   ( D is thinking )   D: WOOW !!! HIS VOIIIICEE !!! AND THOOOSE HAZELLLL EYEZZZ !!!   C: I saw you looking at me from over there so I thought I might as well come and say hi .   (D is breathless and tries to smile) (C laughs at her facial expression and asks)   C: I’m sorry … Do you speak English ?   (D still tries to smile but fails again and makes a weird facial expression) (C laughs again)   C: Do you always make those funny faces when a guy talks to you ? D: Ehm … I usually don’t talk to boys… C: So you don’t even talk to them when they come up to you ? D: Yeeees ? C: Well , I don’t wanna scare you or anything …. But I’m a dude … Well , at least that’s what my mom and everyone I know tells me … And you’re talking to me !   (Both start laughing)   D: Well , congratulations to you ! You’re the first boy I talk to !   (C and D start walking together and suddenly everyone around them disappears . It’s only them and the trees with their brown-gold leaves.)   C: Wanna take a seat ?   (D nods)   C: So … What are you up to ? What are you doing here all alone ?   (C smiles at D) (D sighs and her bright smile vanishes)   D: Ehm …   (D gives C a sign with her head to look at the hospital) (C looks at the building and has a pain-filled look in his eyes)   C:May I know what’s wrong ? D:I’ve been bullied since my earliest childhood and I’ve suffered the loss of my dad by the age of 10 .. Now I’m 18 and here … I’ll stay a while there … C: I’m very , very , very sorry for your loss. I’m sorry for asking … D: Don’t be … I would have told you anyway… (D smiles her usual soft smile)   D: You kinda look like my father …   (C and D remain silent for a moment)   D: I kinda wanna get to know you better … Just because you look like my dad doesn’t mean that I don’t wanna … Have something to do with you, you know … You kinda give me hope …   C: That’s great to hear so !   (C smiles at D)   C: How long have you been there ?   (C looks at the hospital)   D: I was brought two days ago , I guss …   (D sets the scarf up to cover her scar) (C holds D’s hand and looks her deep in the eyes)   C: You’ll be fine , I promise . D: How can you promise me that ? C: Because I’ll make sure that you’ll be alright and I’ll stick with you from now on . D: You don’t have to do that . You don’t have to feel sorry for me . C: I feel sorry for you but I gave you this promise because I care about you . I wanna get to know you better . You told me the summery of your story and you’re still here, which means that you are strong ! D: Do you have a story too ? If I may ask… C: Yes , I do . N: Dr G is looing for you . It’s time to continue what you’ve started yesterday … D: I gotta go … C: Tomorrow same time , same place ? D: Yes …   (D and C smile at each other and shake hands)   C: It was a pleasure meeting you . D:The pleasure is all mine . N: Was this the handsome guy you told me about earlier ?   (D grinning)   D:Yesssss.   (N leads D to her room where Dr G is waiting for her)   P: The walk seems to do wonders , you’re smiling ! That’s good ! D: Yappp …   (D looks on the ground and smiles)   P: Ready to go to my office where we can continue what we’ve started yesterday ? D: Yes !   (P and D go tot he office)   P: We talked about this Egyptian girl… And you wanted to talk about this other girl too.. D: Yes , she’s from Serbia and is obese… She got bullied by everyone and I sticked with her and defended her and almost punshed a boy for her but she …She wouldn’t have done the same for me … When she started going to anther school , I got more depressed than ever because she , the Egyptian girl and the girl with no religion were my only friends and by the Seniour year , I was alone and terrified to make any new friends … Well , I’ve had a few friends but this friendships wouldn’t last long … Once , I’ve uploaded my WhatsApp status into this : Sometimes I think about cutting myself . She asked me why I would think of doing that and I didn’t wanna answer so she got annoyed and started a fight with me … We haven’t talked to each other eversine … P:She’s not a good friend and you haven’t lost anything . She has lost you . If she’s stupid enough to argue with you instead of helping you like you did when she needed someone , then let her be that dumb ! D:We’d fight a few times in a months and our fights would last 21 /2 weeks . P: That’s rough . What would you argue about ? D:The smallest things … P: That’s just HER way of crying for help . You gotta underdtand that too. D: I do but this doesn’t justify her behaviours . P: May I know what she did ? D: She and this Egyptian girl embarressed me on the streat . They laughed at me and they have VEEERY loud. They punshed me too . Daily . P:I’m sorry. D:It’s ok.   (D sighs)   D:The Egyptian girl would take all of her school books and hit me with them on my head. She would slap me on my face . Once she even thrwe my mobile on my forehead. She would sit on my lap even though she is 1m80 or so .. She is quite heavy and there was one time she hit me so hard , I almost died.She also choked me .I survived. P:What did the teachers do ? D:Nothing .   (A few hours later)   P:You’re really brave! You’re stronger than yesterday . D:Really ? P:Could this mysterious young man have something to do with your courage ? D:Kinda …   (N leads D to her room) (D changes her clothes, lays awake in bed and reads a book) (Someone knocks on the door)   N:Someone wants to speak to you. Shall I let him in ? D: Of course. C:I couldn’t wait until tomorrow. D:It’s ok . C: How you doing now ? Have you finished your session with Dr G for today ? D:Yes. She said that I was braver than yesterday. C:That’s good. I’m proud of you , keep going ! D: Thanks .. You were the one who ecouraged me in the first place .   (C takes a seat on the chair near the bed) (The boy suddenly disappears and the mysterious woman in balck takes a seat on the chair.)   D:Who are you ? T:Your worst enemy . D:LEAVE ME ALONE !!!!!   (T disappears out of the blue) (N enters the room)     N:Who are you talking to , my kid ? D:I’m talking to this woman in black . A few minutes ago you came and told me that there was a young man who wanted to talkt o me .. Then he sat on this chair and then he disappeared and this woan came and disappeared too … N:I have noooo idea about what you’re talking about . I just enetred this room because I heard you yelling. Nobody came and asked for either …                     ... N : I think you need some rest .   (N comes closer to D and helps covers her with the blanket )     N : Good night and may the Lord and his angels protect you , my kid .       -DURING THE NIGHT -      T: WAKE UP !!!   ( D opens her eyes and is half asleep )   T: Told you I was your worst nightmare !!!    ( T giggles an evil giggle )  ( D with a tired voice )   D: Go away !   ( D falls asleep again as something terrifying keeps her awake all night )  (D feels a ice cold air filling the room even though the window is closed) ( Someone touches her cheek ) (D doesn't move because she feels a cold breath near her face) (As D dares to open her eyes , she got shocked by the view of these cold , black eyes staring at her ) (D is afraid to call a nurse . D is paralyzed from fear)  (As D closes her eyes and opens them again , the creature is gone , but left something behind)  (D scream)  (N enters the room)     N: What is wrong ? Why are you screaming , my kid ?    (D points at sth at the floor ) (D has her eves wide open )  (D starts sobbing ) (N takes D in her arms )   N: What are you staring at , my kid ?    (D in shock )   D: Can't you see it ?  N: WHAT are ou talking about ?    (D points at the chair next to her bed )  ( N sighs and takes a seat at the chair near the bed )   N: Have you been sleeping ?    ( D unsure )   D: Y .. Yes ..  N: What have you done yesterday ?  D: I ... I don't remember ...  N: Take a feep breath and sit down .   (D takes a deep breath ad sits down on the corner of the bed )  (N takes D's hands )   N: You . Need . Rest . Got me ?       Twitter: Athene_Minerva_  Instagram: athene_minerva_         Publication Date: June 18th 2019 https://www.bookrix.com/-pec269c3536de65

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-shi1234-what-am-i-to-do/

shi1234 What am I to do? Girl Drama To my life and everyone in it Prologue I talked to him at lunch today. He asked me to tell him what happened to me, that made me wary of relationships. I couldn't answer him. My throat closed up, and my breathing became shallower. "Are you ok?" he asked. "No, i'm not" I whisper softly. "Then tell me. Tell me what happened. You can talk to me about anything. You know that." he said. "I know. The question is whether or not I would let myself tell you anything." I said sofly. I could see that he was growing frustrated. He wouldn't snap at me, I knew that much, but he sulk for the rest of the day. I sigh. I don't want to see him unhappy, but in this case it can't be helped. My class was called, and I got up with everyone else, leaving one of my best friends behind. Friend request I know I need to talk to him. I just don't want to. I'm scared I will start crying and look like a total fool. He wants to know about me. But like my friend Ron pointed out once before, i'm a secretive girl. I know I can trust him. But when you spend so much time bottling up emotions and keeping secrets, it's hard to let it out. I'm not in control of my feelings either. I don't know what the heck im feeling. Besides guilt. He does so much for me, but what do I do for him? He says i'm "a really good friend" and i'm "like a sister to him" and "I don't care about material things." But I was cruel. Before we fell into our brother/sister relationship, he asked me out 4 or more times. What did I say? I usually did 1 of the following: 1. changed the subject 2. walked away 3.laugh 4.say no and give no reason why when he asked. Yet he still stayed around, making me laugh, cheering me up, urging me on. Sure I was mad at him for the whole Ray-ray thing (his now ex-gf). But I realized that the anger was stupid and misplaced. It was his (ex-)gf I couldn't stand and I was taking it out on him. At least he talked it out. Tag and I were there to listen and give him advice. It was his choice what he did with what we told him. Keeping everything inside, it's not healthy. I know that, but I do it anyway. He talks about it, lays out all the cards. You know where you stand with him, but at the same time, he's one of the nicest people ever. And I admire him for that. Me? I'm just a shell. No longer carefree. No longer oblivious to what happens in life. And i'm fake. Confidence, style, and um.... certain other things are not mine. My friends are the ones that keep me going. Whoever said fake it til you make it is stupid. It should be fake it til your tired. Because i'm tired.When i'm with my friends, I usually leave my drama at home. I laugh, talk, have fun. It makes me feel better, yeah. But it doesn't help anything. When I get home, I still have to deal with the problem. I just have to deal with it ALONE. * * * He sent me a message from facebook yesterday. He told me to meet him after school today since i'm staying after for dance practice. Great. So now he's asking, scratch that, telling me to blow off dance so I can have a conversation I don't want to have. I didn't have the heart to say no though so I said i'll try. It's only 2nd mod now, and i'm regreting it. What he said before walking away was running through my head on replay. "Don't come to me. I'll find you." In the end I missed practice and my meeting; my dad couldn't pick me up. So I rushed to the bus, looking over my shoulder. Once I was on I sent him a text saying sorry for not meeting him and telling him why. I slumped on the bus feeling guilty about 3 things: 1. I was hoping the I wouldn't have to meet him 2. I missed dance 3. I missed dance without telling the instructor I wouldn't be there Man, me and guilt might as well be shopping buddies. It's around enough. Thank God for understanding people. He wasn't mad at me for blowing him off. When he finally texted me back, all he said was "ok. it's fine." Me: I promise i'll tell u......sooner or later Him:U could tell me now Me: In a txt message? i dnt think so Him: come on..... Me: Look, dnt rush me. I'll tell u when im gud and ready 2 tell u. :-( Him: Ok. fine Me:Im srry. Didnt mean 2 snap at u. Got upset 4 a min Him: Its fine. *Change of subject* What do u want 4 Valentines day? Me:Why does it matter? Him: ??? Me: I mean, I dnt have a valentine anyway so wats da point? Him: Wats dat posed 2 mean? U think im nt gonna get u anything even tho i told u i will? Me: Dats nt wat i meant Him: ok then. Now wat do u want? Me: idk. Candy Him: wat kind? Me: Lollipops or chocolate Him: Imma get u a whole bag of lollipops Me: Yum! Thx Him: no prob Me: ok. Im broke rite nw but I get my allowance soon. Wat do u want? Him: I dnt want nttn Me: ??? Him: Dnt worry bout me. ok? Me: ............fine. If dats wat u want I didn't tell him but I felt guilty. Again. Spending money on me that he could have easily used himself. I was upset. Even though he couldn't see me he just knew. Him: Wats wrong? Me: Y do u think somethin is wrong? Him: Come on. I no u Me: Fine. I jus feel guilty Him: Guilty? Y? Me: Ur always doin stuff 4 me Him: So? Me: Wen was the last time i did sometin 4 u? Him: Yesterday. & da day b4, and da day b4..... Me: ??? Him: Ur doing something 4 me jus by being there. Im tryna do as much 4 u as u do 4 me Me: ..................... Him: ??? Me: .................. Him: U ok? Me: Um...........yea. Jus surprised. Him: Y surprised? Me: idk Him: How u dnt no? Me: idk We chatted 4 another hour, then he had to go. This guy is like a brother to me. We're closer than me and my blood sisters. And i'm afraid 2 lose him because of my stupidity. Idiots and rumors I hate rumors don't you? And i'm not a fan of the people who start rumors either. This summer I was put on the spot by my mom. Way more than once. Why? Because some idiot kept calling her phone saying that he was my boyfriend. My mom questioned me about it endlessly, but I had no idea. This ongoing interrigation ruined my summer vacation. After my mom asked who it was, the guy said "Your daughter's boyfriend. Can I talk to her?" When my mom asked for a name, he hung up. When I got back to school (in 7th grade), I was approached by people asking if I was dating Cole or Lee (guy friends). I said neither. I was friends with Cole's sister and she told me that it was Cole who was calling my mom's phone. I was mad. Yes, rumors are just that. Rumors. But this rumor had not only been going on all summer, but it shattered my peace. * * * Today, Epic, Taco, and I were given a scare. While we were in line at lunch, a boy we didn't know grabbed our butts. I turned around. I wouldn't have known it was him, if not for the smirk on his face. I frowned and gave him the finger. He lost his smirk, you can bet on that. I smiled sweetly and turned back around, making sure that my butt was out of his reach. I looked at the other two. Taco looked troubled, and Epic looked scared. Later that day, Taco left 3rd mod to go to the bathroom. When she came back she told me that the same boy from earlier was in the hallway. Not only did he grab her butt again, but he kissed her....of course, against her will. I was fuming. I wanted to go out there and tell that low down, dirty um.... son of a goat where to put his face. He's lucky. I was mad enough that if I had gotten out of class, he would be kneeling in pain from a kick to the place the sun don't shine. Instead I settled for putting my head in my hands. "Coward" I muttered to myself. Well, good luck must be on our side. We just found out that the boy who made us, shall we say, uncomfortable was expelled for smoking weed in the bathroom. Yay!! Juvie, here he comes. * * * Another skanky peice of nothing was expelled today. Good. That two-timing jerk needed to leave. See he was dating my friend May. One day, my friend Shortstack called...... Ring ring riiing (I pick up the phone) Her: "Girl, i'm dating Vaugn" Me: "You know I can't stand that boy!!" Her: "I know, but can you try to get along?" Me: *whiny voice* "do I have too?" Her: "Please" Me: "Fine. But i'm only doing it for you." Her: "Thank you. Now i gotta go." Me: "kk. Bye" The next day at school, I though about May. "Um......Shortstack?" I called. "Yea" she replied. "Did he ever break up with May?" I asked. "Oh....." she paused "I don't know." "Ok. I'll ask her when I get to class. I'll text you what she says." I said. When I got to class, I sat down behind May. "Hey. Are you still going out with Vaugn?" I asked. She nodded. I got out of there. I ran to the bathroom and pulled out my phone. Me: OMG!! Vaugn still dating May!! Her: ............ Me: U ok? Her: No. But i'll b fine. Imma break it off when I c him. Me: kk. Srry Her: 4 wat? U didn't do anything. Me: Still. I hate being the bearer of bad news. Her: But u do it so well : ) Me: Lol I put my phone away, sighing. That arsehole!! I walked back to class with feet feeling like lead. Later that week, May walked into class looking mad. She turned around in her seat to look at me. "Vaugn and I aren't together anymore. Tell Shortstack she can have him." she said. "She don't want him" I snapped back. Relationships suck My first boyfriend, Ed. Words I can use to describe him? Funny, flirty, and um.......wishy washy. Before school, 4th mod, and right after school he's hugging on me and wants me to sit on his lap. But in the hallway and at lunch, he doesn't smile, let alone give me a hug. Then, after school, he's blowing up my phone all afternoon and night. It leaves me wondering and weary. One day, I just made it to 1st mod. A classmate named Steven ran in the room yelling. "Hey!! Ed just french kissed Ana!!" I was speechless. When I saw Ed later, he was mad and walked right past me. I saw him the next day. He apologized saying that he wasn't mad at me. I asked about Ana, and he changed the subject.He wants to kiss me, but he won't talk to me. Not about anything important anyway. Finally I couldn't do it anymore. I looked him in the face and said "This is not working for me." Then, believe it or not, he said ok and smiled!! I sat with my girls. I was happy to get it over with, but it did not help my self-esteem that he let me go so easily. At lunch the next day, I got a text from Ed. Him: I miss u Me: Ok. So? Him: I want u bac Me: Didnt seem lik it when u was smilin Him: I was being stupid Me: Plez boy Him: So u dnt want me bac Me: Nope Just a tiny white lie, but it's necessary. Him: Then wat bout friends-wif-benefits? I read that last part with wide eyes. Then I laughed so hard and long, that everyone around me was staring at me. Taco and Epic looked at me with a question in their eyes. I told them what Ed said. They started laughing and I busted into a whole new round of giggling. Me: Ur funny. Lmfao. Shut da heck up. U sound so stupid rite now Him: .............. Me:Bye Him: C u * * * 2 months later....science class So i'm doing my work, right? Next thing you know, I hear a buzz and it takes a minute to realize it was my phone. Him: Hi I sighed. I should have known. Ed. After the breakup I deleted his number and stopped talking to him. Wonder what he wants now. Me: hey Him: wyd? (what are you doing?) Me: In science class. U? Him: In reading Me: Tru Him: Yea Me: Yep Therre was a brief period of silence. Him: Do u still lik me? Me: ............ Him: Is dat a yes? Me: My heart didnt turn 2 stone ed. Yes, I still lik u but now I lik u more lik a bro Him: Yea. So I think about kissing my sister. Great. NOT Me: Srry. its jus how I feel Him: Fine. @ least im not outed Me: Got dat rite. U came close Him: I no I put my phone away. I couldn't respond, because I didn't know what to say. * * * So Ed and I stayed friends. Or at least I thought so. He obviously had other ideas........ Ed got another girlfriend and I stayed gloriously single. There was a time when we would meet up in the morning by our 4th mod class. I always wanted to talk, but he was always trying to kiss me. I pushed him away over and over. Soon I gave up and walked away. Yet he wonders why his gf broke up with him. He came to me, crying about how no one wants him. He told me that she thought he was cheating on her. I patted him on the back, but I couldn't say anything. Why? Because he was trying to cheat. The only reason he didn't is because I wouldn't let him. * * * Do you have anybody that you can't ever stay mad at? I have 6. And Ed is one of them. I can avoid him right now, but I know that once he catches up with me, I can't push him away. At least, not if he wants to talk.   If he tries anything else, I certainly can. Some Boys are Dogs Today I had a meeting during 4th mod. I dropped by class to get a pass then walked back out. I was going to go straight to the meeting, but I decided to wait for Shortstack. So I put my stuff down and started pacing. Ed and 2 other guys in our class camearound the corner. I ignored them and kept pacing. My mistake. If I had watched them or said something then maybe it wouldn't have happened. But the point is that it happened. And it almost ruined Ed's and my friendship totally. i reached the end of the hallway. When I turned around, Ed was right behind me. A little close for comfort. Because I didn't hear him walk up, he scared me. He put an arm on each side of me, trapping me against the wall. I just stood there, eyes wide. Once he tried to kiss me, I regained control over my body. I pushed him away, but his arms didn't move and he kept trying. A few tries later, I finally managed to push him away. Then a classmate named Bush came around the corner. He only saw Ed standing there with my hands on his chest. "Woah" he said"somebody's getting freaky." Then he can over and took Ed's place harassing me. I've had enough. I pulled my knee up, catching him between the legs. I laughed bitterly as he fell. I felt tears surfacing and rushed to the bathroom, passing Pool. "Hey! What happened?" he called. I ignored him, slamming the door behind me. I knew Ed wouldn't think twice about coming in, he's done it before. So I made sure to lock the door. I sat on the floor, put my head on my knees, and cried. * * * 5 mins later I'm still mad as heck, but i'm no longer crying. I walk out, head high, scowl on my face. Ed was sitting outside. "You ok?" he asked. "Fuck off asshole." I replied. "Wait," he said grabbing my arm. "What did I do?" I stared at his hand until he moved it. "You don't know the meaning of no. N-O." I said. Then I walked into the classroom looking for Shortstack. I saw her in her seat and told her to come on. * * * As I look through these pages, I only see bad times. And each and every one of them was caused by a boy. I find it so hard to trust boys now. I've caught them in too many lies. Too many compromising positions. Most of them are horny, stupid, and/or weird. i need someone mature, funny, sweet. Someone who doesn't make me afraid that he will mistreat me. I guess you could say I have a new phobia to committment. Every guy has the potential to be a great friend. But not many try. And that's what matters. Internet Freaks I get on an online site where you can talk to people. I've meet a few good people. The thing is, people chat me. I don't chat them. But because of that, I really only talk to guys online. I'm sure of 4 good people on the site: abeforeu, semi69,thedadof3 and jjwave. I'm always talking to abeforeu about music. Semi69 is the definition of horny but he's really nice, and he isn't freaky. He's funny too. Thedadof3 is the father of 3. He has a drinking and smoking problem but he's really nice. He listens well too, so I could talk for hours without noticing. Jjwave is a surfer and an English teacher. But then there's the weirdos. Scenario 1: xxcooljayxx>kittykat: Hi kittykat>xxcooljayxx: Hey xxcooljayxx>kittykat: how r u? kittykat>xxcooljayxx: im gud. U? xxcooljayxx>kittykat: im gud 2 kittykat>xxcooljayxx: dats gud So we talk for about 20 minutes. Next thing I know........ xxcooljayxx>kittykat: I love u kittykat>xxcooljayxx: Huh? xxcooljayxx>kittykat: I love u kittykat>xxcooljayxx: no u dnt xxcooljayxx>kittykat: Plez. Can i have a chance? kittykat>xxcooljayxx: No! Ur 21. And im how old? Huh? xxcooljayxx>kittykat: Age is jus a # kittykat>xxcooljayxx: Ha. Tell dat 2 da police xxcooljayxx>kittykat: Plez kittykat>xxcooljayxx: No xxcooljayxx>kittykat: Now ur being a bitch kittykat>xxcooljayxx: Scuse me? xxcooljayxx>kittykat: Ur playing hard 2 get kittykat>xxcooljayxx: im nt playing. I am hard 2 get xxcooljayxx>kittykat: U strung me along. Teasing me..... kittykat>xxcooljayxx: I did nt xxcooljayxx>kittykat: Not on purpose mayb. But u practically begged me 2 come after u kittykat>xxcooljayxx: Wat? Did nt xxcooljayxx>kittykat: Huh. no wat? Ur rite. I followed cuz i wanted 2. i'll jus have 2 live wif the heartbreak kittykat>xxcooljayxx: Fine. Im leaving and dnt talk 2 me There was this one guy who was a single father. Yet he comes into the room like "Are you freaky?" I was already irritable. I kirked. I asked him if he would want someone saying that to his daughter. He said no. Then I said "Ok. So y da hell would u say 2 some1 younger than ur daughter?" But the time I was done talking, he had promised to try to do better. The super weirdos, if I already accepted their friend request then I told them not to talk to me. If they did anyway, then I unfriended them. And I was good enough on the site that none of them wanted to be unfriended. I met around 2 or 3 more like xxcooljayxx. As in, we talked for a while then out of nowhere they say that they've fallen in love. I mean, I know i'm cute but not that cute. One of the first people I talked to on that site was a guy named Evan. He said I was cute. I said thanks. We talked then he asked what I did for fun...... kittykat>evan21: reading, writing, on computer, txtin, etc. evan21>kittykat: wat about other things? kittykat>evan21: wat other things? evan21>kittykat: Lik.....sex kittykat>evan21: Not happenin. Not anytime soon anyway. evan21>kittykat: Y? kittykat>evan21: Im nt tryna get an STD or get pregnant evan21>kittykat: Its fun kittykat>evan21: Yea. Shopping is fun too. And safer evan21>kittykat: watever. kittykat>evan21: yea. watever evan21>kittykat: Ur a bitch kittykat>evan21: No. Ur jus a bastard evan21>kittykat: Ur the reason people become nuns kittykat>evan21: Well, ur da reason girls r so stupid. Ur dumb ass knocks em up and they have 2 drop out of school evan21>kittykat: U must have cobwebs between ur legs kittykat>evan21: Dats betta than screwin everything with legs evan21>kittykat: I dont screw everything with legs kittykat>evan21: Uh- huh. Im going now. Bye idiot evan21>kittykat: Son of a ---- I closed my laptop, rolling my eyes. * * * Few days later Bad day at school. I log onto the site. My IM button is blinking. Who IMed me? I wondered. I opened it up. It was semi69. I let out a breath. Good. A friend, not another creep. Semi69: Hey beauty kittykat: Hey Semi69: how r u kittykat: im ok, I guess. U? Semi69: gud. kittykat: dats gud. wyd? Semi69: jus woke up kittykat: tru Semi69: u ok? kittykat: ehh........mad. Bad day @ skool. Waitin 4 some idiot 2 hit on me so I can let out my anger Semi69: Lol kittykat: yep I got another IM. I checked it. Some dude named Crazyashell. Crazyashell: Hey sexy I switched back over to semi69. kittykat: Think I jus found dat idiot. Hold on 4 a while semi69: Lol. okie dokie I went back to Crazyashell. After IMing him back, he started givig me compliment after compliment. When I started typing back, the words just flowed out along with the anger. And let's just say that he never talked to me again. No loss though. Confusion I was talkin to a friend. I know he likes me, but I chose to ignore that fact. We're close. Gives each other a huge hug everyday. Talk, laugh, and just being there for each other. We were texting the other day....... Him: Im cold Me: Get under a blanket Him: I did Me: U have pants or shorts? Him: Short Me: Lol. Now ask me how i new dat? Him: How? Me: Cuz I no u. Long sleeved shirt? Him: No Me: Well put 1 on.....and imma shut up Him: Y? Me: Cuz i sound lik a mama. eww...........im still young. promise Him: Lls. Yea. Let my mom do her job and u play ur part in my life even tho im nt sure wat dat part is Me: U no wat? Idk either Him: We can talk about it Me: Sure. But l8er, ok? G2g 4 choir reh Him: Ok 1 1/2 hours later   Me: Bac Him: wyd? Me: on my way home.U? Him: at the movies Me: wat movie u c-ing? Him: Red Tails Me: Tru Him: So u wanna talk about wat we said earlier? Me: ok Him: So wat do u wanna b? in my life i mean? Me: idk Him: oh Me: Feelings r blurred. People tell me wat they feel, wat they think , and i cant think. My brain shut down, i guess. Him: Well, we can fix dat Me: How? Him: Think of nttn but ur emotions and feeling Me: ........................ Him: Lls. Me: Dats gonna b hard Him: No Me: Yes Him: Well try Me: fine. After i eat dinner Him: ok After dinner I sat in my room, thinking. I was writing down my feeling. Well, the feelings I could recognize, anyway. I wrote down a few things, but then my mind went blank. I was staring into space for a while, before putting down my journal. I sent him a message that I couldn't do it then buried my face in my pillow. When he finally texted back, I was half-asleep. I picked up the phone. Him: oh Me: yep And before he texted back again, I was fast asleep. Beauty- Both Good and Bad Have you ever had someone ask you to do something you know is wrong? Especially when they had just said that they appreciate honesty? I have and it sucks. So I was talking to my friend James. We was texting, right? Anyway, before dinner we was on the phone talking. And we talked on the phone before school started. Yet here I am trying to get started on my homework and he wants to call me again. I mean, it's already 10:30!! James: You know we need to talk, rite? Me: About wat? James: About us Me: You do know i dnt lik u lik dat rite? James: Yes u do Me: No i dnt James: Watever. Can i call u now Me: No, i'm doing hw James: Plez? Im only askin 4 30 mins Me: And dats 30 mins 2 many James: come on Me: Im trying to bring my grades up, not let them drop James: And im proud of u 4 dat but plez?? Me: im busy James: Wyd? Cleaning your room? Me: I need to but im doin hw. I have a project due on monday, a weeks worth of math due on monday, and a 15 page take home quiz due 2morrow dat i didnt even get yet. i have a reading log and a practice log. And i have an essay 4 history due on Tuesday. James: fine then txt me when u in bed Me: 4 wat? James: So i can call u Me: .........didnt i tell u i cant talk on da phone in bed? 2 many nosy ppl round here James: Jus close ur door Me: Cant James: Y? Me: Cuz i useed 2 do it 2 much. My ma said if i closed it again she gonna take it off its hinges James: ......Find a way Me: I c-a-n-t. Anyway i dnt want 2 run up my phone bill........again. If i do my ma takin my phone James: My parents r payin 4 da call Me: Hello? It goes 2 my bill 2 Me: Now i gotta go and i swear if u try2 call me i will either 1. not answer 2. answer and curse u out James: Fine. Nite Ms. grumpy * * * Pool made me sooooo ready to punch him today. I left my instrument in my locker before lunch because i had a meeting and was hoping it would run into 4th mod. Well, it didn't even last the whole 30 minutes of lunch. So before I went to class I had to ask my teacher if I could go get the instrument. He said yes. So I started walking to my locker. When I rounded the corner down the hall from my locker, I saw him play-fighting with another guy. He asked me to help him, and I laughed then said "If you can't beat him, then what the heck am i supposed to do?" Then I kept walking. A few seconds later I heard running and knew Pool was coming to give me a hug. I was getting ready to turn around but didn't have the time. "Hi" he said. "Hey" I responded. "We haven't seen each other much lately." he said. "I know right? Now can you let me go so I can go to my locker?" I replied. When I looked up he had this mischievous smile on his face. "Oh," he said "so you need to go to your locker, huh?" He picked me up so fast I didn't see it coming. I started screaming without even noticing. It felt like I was getting ready to fall head-first to the ground. Once I felt stable, I sahouted "Oh my God, Pool!!! If you do that one more time your gonna get bitch slapped!!!" I was trying to scare him enough that he would put me down, but I don't think the laughter helped. So I just said "Just put me down." He put me down and I laughed and started back on my way. Sometimes being so beautiful is so hard. Dump and Bump Do you know what a bump and dump is? It's when you're really happy, then something happens to ruin that feeling.I had a bump and dump, only backwards. Dump and bump. We have a dress down day tomorrow. All week, i've been saying the same thing over and over: "I need to pick my outfit." Yet, here it is, Thursday, and I still didn't know what I was going to wear. So, naturally, I was panicking. I tried sending pics to Shortstack, but she couldn't help. Finally, I tried Epic. I know she could find an outfit where I couldn't. I sent her the same pics I sent Shortstack...... Epic: It's not summer, u no Me: I jus cant find nttn else Epic:Well, the shirt that says fly girl with the butterfly and the blue jeans would look good wif ur black converse Me:K. I'll try it on in the morning. Nite. Epic: NiteWhen I got up in the morning, I put on the outfit, amazed. Knowing she would be awake already, I sent Epic a text. Me: U r a GENIUS Epic: Why? Me: I had no idea dis outfit would b soooo cute!! Epic: Duh. Hello? Im Epic Me: Lol Epic: : D I g2g. Dont txt back Now my hair. As I was working, a chant was working it's way through my brain. "It's gonna be a great day." * * * Gym class; later that day It was variety day. We could do whatever we wanted all mod. Well......except play soccer since this spanish dude hit the nurse upside the head with the ball. So I was talking to Taco and texting my friend Grant. About halfway through class, I asked Taco if shecould take a picture of me. After she took it, I saved it right before answering another text. Later, when I got home, I was trying to show my dad the picture, but I couldn't find it! "Oh my gosh!! I could've sworn I saved that pic!! I was gonna put that on facebook." I sighed. "Dad, can you take a picture of me?" Inside Joke I was on the bus, riding home. I have a friend that I haven't talked to in a while, JB So I was on the bus talking to my friend Green. I heard her say "Ohhh.....I want some!" When I turned around I saw JB bent over in his seat, shoving something in his mouth. Green and I was laughing when someone said "First Rod eats JB's cookies, then JB eats Rod's nuts." We was like "Ewwwww....." while still laughing. Green and I have read a book series called House of Night where there is a gay couple, Damien and Jack. Green said they were like Rod and JB. I was like "Wouldn't it be funny if someone turned around and told them to keep it pg?" Green said "I dare you to do it." "For real?" I asked. When Green nodded I turned around. After getting Rod's and JB's attention, I shouted "Hey, make sure you keep it rated pg!!" Just then the bus stopped at mine and JB's bus stop. When we got off he was lookin at me funny and I couldn't stop laughing. After walking a few yards I stopped and turned around. Noticing that he was looking back, I raised my hand and said "Remember. Rated pg!!" After that, he started running........straight towards me!! I laughed then turned and started running. He chased me until we were right outside my house. "My dad is home" I said. "I don't care" he replied. Then my dad opened up the front door. Seeing JB backing down I started walking toward the houses. JB was still lookin confused. "Don't worry," I said "it's an inside joke. I'm sure Green or I will explain it to you......sooner or later." After waving to him, he finally started walking away. But I kept on laughing. Second-Guessing So, there's a new guy. I really like him, but you know how most teenage girls are. He's told me that he likes me back, but i still have doubts. The way he treats me is perfect but still, i have doubts. I keep thinking about how great he is and about how he can be with whoever he wants, so why would he choose me? The insecurities of teenage girls are ridiculous. One minute we're perfectly certain of something, but then we get alone and we do the worst things ever: over-analyzing and second-guessing.   Vanilla is THE sweetest guy ever. On many occasions he would pop out of nowhere with words as sweet as sugar.  Here are some of the many examples.   Me: Ugh.....im so irritated Him: Why? Me: idek (i don't even know) Him: Smile, you're beautiful Me: Aww thx hun   ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Him: You stay hiding from me when i come up to the school Me: I don't hide from you Him: Yea you do Me: What makes you say that? Him: Because i stay going up there and not being able to find you. Me: Lol. I don't hide. It usually just turns out that i'm not in the spot you're looking in Him: I don't like it. I look hard but it just doesn't work. You're one of the main reasons i go up there anymore. Not seeing you makes it a worthless trip. Me: Aww i didn't know that Him: So can you help me out some? Me: Lol. Sure i'll try. But i'll talk to you tomorrow 'kay? Restriction about to ome on. Him: : ( ok   ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Him: Wyd? Me: Typing up a weight loss plan Him: th? (the heck?) Me: Lol. What? Him: you have no weight to lose Me: Lol. Sweet o you to say. Not true, but sweet Him: why do you think you have to use weight? Me: Cause i like wearing t-shirts without sucking in my gut......and i like wearing pants without worrying about dino thighs Him: I think you're over-reacting. You're beautiful Me: Thx hun. I'm kinda tired. Imma do my sit-ups and go to bed. Night. Him: Night sexy   These are just a few of the examples. We've been an item since the middle of last year. Unfortunately, he's in college now and i'm still stuck in high school but we make it work. We talk every day, and when he comes to town, he either drops by my house or comes to hang out with me and our friends at school. We never go long without ome kind of contact. I'm loving it.   * * *   I guess to most people, Vanilla isn't the most attractive guy. But when we first started really talking, there's just something that attracted me to him, and as we got to know each other, that attraction got bigger and more pronounced. I first talked to him at a car wash last year. The school wanted to raise money and about 30-40 people volunteered to wash cars. I was hosing off a car, and my friend E moved my hand so it sprayed Vanilla. Later he retaliated by covering us with silly string. It makes me laugh just thinking about it. That string was hell on my hair.    But we didn't actually start talking until Thanksgiving.    Me: Happy Thanksgiving Him: Who is this? Me: Shiri Him: Lol. Why haven't you ever texted me before? Me: I did once, but you never replied Him: oh really? Huh, I wonder why. If I had noticed it I wouldn't have ignored it.   We kept texting, all through the night, and into the morning. I fell asleep around 4 am, and woke up around 12:30 with a message from him in my inbox. It kept on like this for the rest of winter break. We wanted to know so much about each other that we started playing a game called questions and it went on, continuously, for days. I was so happy and immediatately started crushing, although whenver he asked me who i liked i changed the subject. Finally, one day we were texting and he was naming all the guys he thought i might like.....   Me: You kept getting it wrong. Lol. Why don't you give up? Him: because i want to know. Why don't you want to tell me?   I decided to take a leap of faith and took a deep breath.   Me: because it's kinda hard to tell the guy you like that you like him Him: so you like me? Me: yea Him: Huh.....i'm the last person i woulda thought you like. Well, then you already know who i like. Me: Who? Him: You   I swear I almost passed out. Then i opened my mouth and screamed from happiness.   I still have trouble every now and then believing that he actually likes me, but that's just how i am. It's a natural part of lacking confidence. But 99% of the time i'm certain he likes me and only me, and that's enough. He, along with his awesome sense of humor, gorgeous smile, protective streak, and intense eyes, is mine. Great! Then Not-So Great My really close friend E started dating my friend B, who's like a brother to me. When she told me, I was so happy for them. And I barely ever got to see B, so i was also thinking that them two together meant that i could see my brother more. Boy, it turned around on me. They are so  cute, and really really like each other but in my case, that's not always a good thing. Now he spends more time with her than me. I mean, i constantly see him now, but i can never talk to him when E is around, and when she's not, she's all he talks to me about. Whenever E and i argue, he takes her side and tells me that i'm the one being childish who needs to apologize. She pushes me and he stays out of it, but he's all in my face when i push back. And because i'm pretty close to both of them, I'm pulled into every fight and i hear both sides of every story. Sometimes i don't know what to believe.    And oh my God, they are so SAPPY! And have no problem whatsoever with PDA. Matter-of-fact, every other day B slips into our 3rd period class and E sits in his lap until our teacher kicks him out. Then they kiss, yes in front of the teacher, before he leaves. And on the day after, E makes herself late to 2nd period so she can see him before class, and majority of the time she tries to make me late with her. Yet other times, she up and leaves me with no warning whatsoever. Why? To hang out with B. So awesome being in the middle of that huh?     Birthday Blues I have a love/hate relationship with birthdays, mine specifically. I love that i’m closer to freedom with every birthday, but at the same time there’s the obviously problem: I’m getting older. Birthdays are the time of year where you’re surrounded with people telling you how old you’re getting. The only time of year most of your facebook friends post on your wall and message. The way i feel is that, even though i like being told happy birthday most of the time, if you don’t talk to me on a regular basis, don’t pretend you care just because i’m a year older. You know the time of people i’m talking about right? Of course you do. It happens to all teenagers, guys included. Matter-of-fact, once people get around the age range of 18 to 25, it’s the start of the please-don’t- mention-my-birthday phase. Me? When i get 25, i’m not gonna stop aging…...i’m gonna start aging backwards. Yep, i’m gonna follow the lead of Benjamin Button. My boyfriend Vanilla had that early down on birthdays feel. I texted him happy birthday and boy, he was not happy. He did nothing to celebrate his 18th birthday, but instead sat around the house, watching tv and texting me. He’s the party type for the most part so it kinda surprised me. I got him cheered up, fortunately. I hate it when he’s unhappy. When he’s in a good mood, that’s when i am too. Me, on the other hand, although i don’t like that thought of being old, i still have enough years between me and being middle aged that i can still have fun at my parties. Those friends that playfully talk about you in front of your crush(es). Last year, before Vanilla and i were an item, i invited him to my birthday party. Three of my friends from middle school that i’m still close with are there too. Whole time Vanilla was there, they were telling him stories about thing that happened in middle school, and i spent the whole time with my head in my hands (though i had to admit that they’re funnny). He Likes Me/He Likes Me Not Tick tock………   I sit or lay on my bed, asking myself the same questions. Does he like me? How much does he like me? Do we have some type of future? I know that picking the petals on a flower is cliche and all but sometimes i want to do it anyway. Sometimes serious conversations are a must. Whether i want to or not, I eventually find the courage to ask or tell Vanilla what i was thinking. And its nerve-wrecking at the time, though it never stays awkward or serious for a long time. *** Me: What would you do if i had somebody that looked like me and we switched lives for a week? Him: Same thing i would do to you. But i don’t think that there’s anyone out there like you. Me: even if you knew it wasn’t me?   I knew i didn’t have the right to be but i was slightly hurt by that answer.   Him:it depends Me: on? Him: idk, it just depends Me: you know that’s not a good answer right? Him: yea i know Me: as long as you know Him: Lol Me: I’m upset now Him: Why? Me: i’m jeaulous of my made-up “twin”. Lol Himm: you shouldn’t be Me: Do you use your brain all the time? Me: Ok well turn it on for a minute and ou yourself in my shoes Him: Ok, now what’s wrong? Me: (deep breath) Sometimes I don’t think you like me as much as i like you and when i do believe you like me, i have no clue why. Everytime you mention your exes, i get irritated. I miss you whenever we aren’t around each other, and when we are i want to keep you by my side. I love talking to you on a daily basis, but i start to feel like a nuisance if we talk or text for too long. Sometimes i think of you and want to cry because i like you so much but i have no claim to you besides that of a friend. I know you’re funny, cute, sweet, sensitive, and more but i can’t have you. Really kinda pathetic, i know. Him: I didn’t know you felt that way…….but you’re not pathetic. You’re special to me. Me: i guess Him: Wytb? (What you thinking ‘bout?) Me: (while watching Captain America) That i can’t believe i told you all that and that Captain America is sexy Him: Now i’m jealous Me: Lol. You shouldn’t be. Not like i have a chance with him. Him: You never know. Especially a beautiful girl like you. Me: Lol. Smh. Flattery at its finest.   Although i shocked myself by managing to get all that out, i don’t regret it. I was feeling horrible before, but after i felt relieved, peaceful, and actually happy. Wonder how long these feelings are going to last until i become insecure again. Let me cherish them while i can. The First Before Vanilla, there was another guy. His name is Hill. My first serious relationship. We had been quite close lately, so I should’ve seen it coming. Over one of the school breaks, we went to the harbor with a group of friends. Extra long hugs, walking arm-in-arm, sharing a Mcdonald’s lunch, and me sitting on his lap when there wasn’t enough room on the bench for all of us. When school started back up, he told me he wanted to talk to me but he was in a rush to go somewhere at the moment. After hugging me and going on his way, I started wondering what it was that he wanted to talk to be about. One day I saw him right before he was supposed to leave, and we walked down the hall, to a quiet part of the building. He was so quiet while we walked, making me slightly nervous. Once we settled into a spot on the steps, Hill took a deep breath before turning to me and suddenly saying “Do you want to be my girlfriend?” I was so surprised that i was rendered speechless for a minute. Then i thought about it. The long, comfy hugs, easy conversation, and more, then smiled.     “Of course i do.”   ***   The way our band of friends stay connected is astounding. I told my best friend Extra, and my friend Rob knew because he was there when i walked back to the cafe after Hill left. But by 2nd period the next day, almost everyone knew. Friends were texting me asking why they had to hear from other people and not me, which was slightly comical because i hadn’t seen any of them yet. At the beginning, the relationship was textbook perfect…...mostly. Saw each other in the mornings, lunch, and relaxed together after school. We liked each other so much and people could tell. Few things he didn’t like though. I had a fear of PDA. Well not PDA exactly, because holding hands and hugging were fine with me. But we never kissed unless we were completely alone. That’s a good thing that came out of it. After the first month, i was getting over that. Another not so good thing was the start of summer. We still managed to see each other occasionally, but we didn’t get to spend much time together. And that not seeing each other problem got bigger when school started back up. For the most part, we had different schedules, and didn’t see each other much at all. Majority of my after-school activities start later in the year, so no after school hang-outs really. And in our before-school activity, placements were moved around, so he was too far away to talk to. Near the end of our fourth month together, Hill kept wanting to talk to me about the situtation. Whether i knew how we could spend more time together. But everytime we parted ways, the situation was no better. The third time he brought it up, it was two days after our five month anniversary. I put up my hand, stopping him midsentence.   Me: just tell me. Are you going to break up with me or not? Him: ………………. Me: Yes or no question hun Him: I don’t want us to be strangers ag--- Me: I will be here for you no matter what. Are you going to break up with me or not?   He got really quiet again then looked at me, slowly nodding. I nodded, cleared my throat, before getting up to leave. He grabbed my hand, looking at me to make sure if i was ok. I kissed him on the cheek, said i’m fine, then walked away with my head held high. Naturally, i waited until i got to the bathroom to break down. Extra found me in tears about five minutes later and hugged me until i stopped. When i got up, she looked at me worried.   “Don’t worry about me. I got it out. Starting now, i’m never crying over him again.”   *** About two weeks later, Hill started dating his closest friend Taj, who was supposed to be my “sister”. Of course, seeing that upset me, considering it hadn’t even been a month since we broke up. At the time, I still liked him, too, which made me avoid Taj for a while. We’re supposed to be so close, but you date my ex less than a month after he becomes my ex? And as if fate was laughing at us, he was transferred into my first period B day class, and i was moved into his third period A day class and his B day lunch. Great. We break up because we barely see each other and now we see each other all the time. I got over him after about a month or so. We started walking to and from our first period B day class together, meeting up in the mornings and walking to lunch together afterwards.  And although we’re not as close as we used to be, we’re still pretty close. Taj on the other hand, is a different story. I’m no longer upset with her, i actually no longer cared. We started talking again and we hugged whenever we saw each other. But we don’t really talk about important stuff anymore. Mostly short, don’t-mean-much conversations. But i still did my best to comfort her when it was her turn to get dumped. Now Hill and i are on great terms. We still walk to and from class together, we eat lunch with the same group of people, we joke around, buy each other Christmas and birthday presents, do homework together, and talk about serious stuff and it’s not even slightly uncomfortable. And i kept the promise i made to Extra and myself.   I never cried over him again. Editing: samarafitzgerald Publication Date: February 1st 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-shi1234

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-caden-jesso-minecraft-story/

Caden Jesso, Caden Jesso minecraft story hi Chapter 1 once there was a guy that had a house and in that basment there was herobrine.....   Steve went to sleep and steve didnt know that herobrine lived in his basment he would always hear stuff coming    from his basment.....He was sound asleep then herobrine went up stairs where steve was sleeping steve opened his eyes and herobrine killed him he hide his body  Chapter 2 he was killed lol hev was a bad man no one liked him any ways the end lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol Publication Date: June 5th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-mt30678c9d80935

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-brainne-k-amoureux/

Brainne K Amoureux "The Lovers" Strange world I twisted my hair into a ponytail, tucking it under my cap and lowering the brim, Than I took a final look around the room full of strangers, wondering which of them would help me escape, and which would try to kill me…  I was alert as I slowly and casually backed my way to the far wall of the large white room and coolly pressed myself to the wall attempting to be invisible. The room has no color to distract the eye; everything was white. There were eight beds, that lined the back wall, with white sheets and white fleece comforters, the pillows were overstuffed and looked almost pleasant to sleep on. Next to the beds sat little flimsy night stands with two things on it that looked almost out of place; a bible and what looked like a small crystal cigarette ash tray. Lining the wall across the room was a series of wardrobes filled to the brim with what looked like nurse outfits everyone in the room was wearing one (including me), laundry chutes were next to each of the eight wardrobes, and a door guarded by to two men in military attire were placed directly in the middle of the wall.     The two men broke the pattern of white on white. They were wearing standard issue military Combat Second Guard uniforms with a red star on the shoulder of there jackets, meaning they were Angel rank. The guards wore masks that covered their nose and mouth, their menacing eyes looking out from under black caps that covered army cropped hair. I wanted so bad to ware the uniform that now kept me from freedom. I have no burning desire to even look at it now.      I closed my eyes not wanting to silently explore my knew habitat anymore. My closed eyes and tiered body sent me drifting on a soft dark storm cloud, the events of the day went streaming through my head. First being torn from my bed in the middle of the night, than being taken form my childhood mansion near the East city just out side the Nina Gardens. I was thrown into the back of a hefty white van, not without fighting of course, but the military Angel men overpowered my small frame. This led my thoughts to the maids and caretakers that helped look after the mansion grounds and rooms… I’d hoped they were ok but, being the cynic I am, my thoughts of love and hoping, almost instantly were changed to thoughts of betrayal. It had happened before; betrayal. The word was like vinegar, it made me feel sick just thinking the word. Betrayal, of course, leads to thoughts of my father the man I loved so much…But that love died when he did.     My father was a scientist, and a good one at that. He had the mind of all the great scientists of the past. He would sit in his office for hours on end when he wanted to finish a formula. It used to drive my mom insane, or at least, from what I remember. He might have been brilliant, but he was mine. Mine and mine only;  I being an only child and hardly having a mother to call my own, father was mine and I his. My father was a man of value and character and I have always admired him because of that, he would be upset if he knew my plan for revenge, even if it was for him. I loved him…     My eyes flew open as my thoughts were so rudely interrupted. The glass doors on the other side of the room flew open letting in the sound of a bitter sweet tune being whistled. A chill ran down my spine. The man that stood in the door looked as human as anyone in the room, but the way everything went quiet when his presence became known, was unreal. He was a string bean of a man, pathetic and ignorant. He was bald and looked as if his pasty skin hadn’t seen daylight even once in his seemingly long life. The man was tall and wore a pair of small monocles on his thin bird like nose. He wore an arrogant smile that smelled of a long life of pleaser and no work. As he entered and looked around the room his gaze boar into me through his glassed eyes, his smile broadened showing perfect small yellow teeth. I did all I could to keep from shuddering, but lost in the end. I stared at him from under my white cap, the fear I felt must have been all over my face because looking pleased he turned and with a nod in my direction left the room, the glass doors hissing shut behind him. I silently enlist help That night my dreams were haunted by betrayal, and arrogant nameless, yellow smiles. I had dreams of angels with black wings and golden eyes. I thought of all the time I spent living in the mansion and what I would be doing now if I was still there. One dream in particular that night made me very uneasy. When I was little I had always wanted to help people and be the one everyone looked up too. My dad was that kind of man. The dream had started with nothing but darkness, but then I heard a small voice. It was so small I could barely make it out in the thickness black air. The voice was scared and whimpering so I walked toward it. As I walked it became louder and than louder it was still a very small voice but I was getting so close in the silence around me the voice seemed like shrieks and I became hysteric to find it. I didn’t know why I needed to find it but I did. I don’t remember the dream exactly because it seemed to only last for a few minutes, but I needed to find the voice… the darkness slowly gave way to light and the floor went with it. I was floating and falling and just drifting slowly like there was no gravity. Than I saw it. The source of the voice, a little girl. She was wearing a blue and white dolly dress and black shinny shoes. She was crying and I wanted to hold her so badly, but she wouldn’t turn around.  ’Turn around!’ I had yelled, ’Please, I want to help you!’ there was silence for a moment and I stopped drifting toward her. There was a sudden rush of wind and I couldn’t catch my breath. There was a loud boom and I was being sucked down to the darkness. I looked at the girl, she turned her head slowly and where her eyes should have been there were two golden lights.       I had missed breakfast awaking to the smell of cold eggs that had already been devoured by the people I roomed with. I got up leaving the warmth of my new bed, and put on my white cap once again. I was wearing the same white clothes as the day before unwilling to change out of the, now familiar, V-cut shirt and loose cotton Capri’s. Standing in the same spot as the day before, I looked at the faces of people I didn’t know and didn’t really care to know but had no choice. As I looked around a pattern occurred to me none of the people were older than thirty and none were younger than ten.     The day passed with me sitting on my bed slowly looking at everyone in the room one by one. The oldest looking man with a scruffy face and a hard set brow was the quietist. He had kind eyes looking as if he had seen much sorrow. That is another theme I was sensing, sorrow with an air of regret. From listening to a conversation between him and a young girl I figured out his name, Ronny. The young girls name was Skyller. She had the skin color of smooth creamy chocolate, and her hair was as black as night. The oldest woman in the room was always either in the corner by herself or by a chair close to the foot of my bed. Her name was Candice and from her skin color she was Native American. It is so rare to see anyone of Native American, Central American or, South American decent I was surprised at first but her presence slowly slipped to the back of my mind. A girl who looked to be about 20 and a male who seemed to be around the same age were always together. Beds next to each other and always talking. The boy had strawberry blond hair that was almost translucent and was extremely tall. The girl was extremely short in comparison and had simple and plain light brown hair the same color of her dead eyes. Her name was Ryan and his name was Todd.     Two people stood out to me the most, a red head and a blonde. They were standing in the same circle of people which included Ryan and Todd. This meant they were already acquainted, good. I needed a team who would get along, and who would follow orders. I moved a little closer to the group, and stood by the foot of my bed. The blonde was a boy who’s hair fell in his violet eyes, he was quite handsome, I realized with a flush of warmth to my cheeks. I quickly looked at the floor to regain my composer. I looked up slowly this time to look over his muscle build and posture. (That part was mostly for my benefit…)As my eyes swept over his face he caught my eyes with his and held them. His eyes were like perfect gems looking through his fair hair. I felt my cheeks burn red again. Snap out of it!!! I looked away not knowing what to do, than mentally kicked myself for not saying “Hi,” or “How are you?” or something like that.     Taking a deep breath I looked over at the girl with red hair. She was smiling and giggling silently with Ryan. She was small, with a slender flawless face that was completely engulfed by a curtain of fiery red hair. Being small would benefit her, and the way she carried herself, she looked like a runner. Both of us being pretty and giggly, we should get along just fine.      Smiling to myself, I thought of my childhood friend a young boy we used to tell secrets and hide from the adults. He was the son of our cook’s wife who died during childbirth. His name was Kenneth, but everyone called him Ken. I never did find out what happened to him or his family they all just seemed to disappear one day. I still miss him.     I glanced back toward the blonde. He wasn’t there. I heard someone clear their throat behind me, turning, startled I through up my hand intending to slap my dream world intruder. I was expecting to feel the stinging satisfaction of a successful slap to the cheek, but it never came, I never made contact. A sharp pain went through my wrist and I turned gasping in surprise. The face that looked down at mine looked hurt and just as surprised as I was.     “Did I startle you?” his voice was kind, full of concern. I stared blankly at him not knowing what to say, when I didn’t answer he said, “I’m sorry.”      I stuttered not expecting an apology, “N-No, sorry,” I took a step back and stepped on something I didn’t bother looking down. “It was just a reflex, I’ve been jumpy since I got here.” I tried to smile but only managed an awkward grimace. Why can’t I think strait? He released my wrist, and I realized it didn’t hurt so much as tingle…      “You must be new,” smiling he let my wrist go and looked me directly in the eye. “New people are always jumpy, don’t worry it goes away after a while.” His violet eyes,(they were more of a deep purple) and my yellow-green, held each others company and refused to let go. It were as if they looked deep inside me and read part of my unpleasant past as if reading an open book. I drew in my breath and nodded, panic running wiled through my blood. My wrist ached for the tingling sensation he left on my skin, it was familiar as if we had touched before, something in the very recesses of my mind was calling to be sent forward, but nothing came. I foolishly ignored it.     “My name is Bren, Bren Ramses.” The way he said it made me want to laugh, for no apparent reason. Bren, I thought to myself, what a strange name… He held out his right hand and said, “Its nice to meet you…” I realized he wanted a name so I said without thinking, “Isabelle”, I grabbed onto his hand with a small shake.    Of course it wasn’t my real name but names meant a lot to me, so I wasn’t about to give it away to the perfect stranger. Maybe under different circumstances but now was not the time. His friendly smile faded like he knew I wasn’t telling the truth, as if he were reading my mind. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but was cut short by a loud hissing noise and than an overly cheerful voice saying, “Alright everyone time for bed!” The voice was from a speaker just over us. My hand was in Bren’s, I hadn’t even noticed. He smiled sheepishly looking down at his feet.    “Its nice to meet you Isabelle.” He looked up meeting my eyes, he was a whole head taller than me.     “You too.” I was almost certin my cheeks were as red as the sheets in my room at the mansion. We let our hands slip away from each other. With one last glance in my direction he glided slowly into his bed on the other side of me. As he covered and slumped into the pillow, the lights turned out suddenly. I was alone in the dark, being swallowed up by the emptiness I felt.      Moving my feet along the floor I felt something under foot. I reached down and picked it up, I felt the material in my hand, not recognizing it. I held it up to the little light that flooded in through the glass door and was surprised to see the two looming dark figures of the guards. They stood stationary, unmoving, the only way to tell they were alive was the slow and sure movement of their chests. Watching them closely I climbed into my bed, reaching to take off my hat… It wasn’t there. I panicked, what had happened to it? I felt on the nightstand for it, not there. Near my pillow, not there. Then I remembered the thing I had picked up, yes it was my hat.     I rubbed the rough material in my smooth hands, trying to scratch the feel into my memory. I didn’t notice it was gone. I needed my hat, it wasn’t a necessity for my life but it was just nice to have something to hide behind. I’m using it for myself, and as I closed my eyes, I decided. and I’ll use Bren too. The dream I was walking, walking fast. Voices echoed off the bright flamboyant walls of the second main hallway. I picked up my pace, almost running, my shoes click-clacking in the shiny black marbled floor. I looked down following the cracks in the marble, I felt the cold radiating off the floor and a small chill ran up than down my spine. My family was a rich one, in fact the richest family in all the land of Elric. My father and mother both had a taste for expensive art and other earthly objects, but mostly art. There was many pictures and many statues and vases, that my parents had decorated our mansion with. As I stopped to admire the multi-colored floral vase sitting on a white pedestal I heard the loud swish of skirts and the soft slap of bare feet on the smooth floor.     Looking back a small maid suddenly materialized in her plumb purple and white uniform, her apron starting to slide off her hips with her brisk pace. She was yelling my name, “Sylvia!” she sounded as if she was in a panic, “Miss. Sylvia!” I had never liked this maid, she was always looking down as if she were about to cry, Sandra is her name I think. As our eyes met fear soured through my body and my legs started moving without me telling them to. The small woman took after me running as fast as her maid uniform would allow. I was in a full panicked run now. I looked back expecting the pail expressionless maid to be close enough to grab me, but as I looked back I stumbled slightly when I thought I was going to fall my hands instinctively went out in front of me; but instead of hitting cold marble floor I hit a large smooth surface that rattled me to the bones. I rebounded off one of the many pedestals in the room and fell with a gasp of air. My head pounded and my eyes hurt as I looked up at my favorite vase, in the house, teetering on the edge of breaking. I felt the sting of tears in my eyes but did the best I could not to cry. The Picture of an angel with spread black wings seemed to be looking right at me.     “Sylvia!” The maid was close enough to grab the hem of my washed out yellow and white dress. I jumped up hitting the side of the pedestal with my shoulder it twisted me and than everything slowed down as if time was going to stop all together. I saw the maid put her hand over her mouth and muffled the scream that escaped her thin lipped mouth. The vase was falling, than I realized why the maid was screaming, I was directly in its path. I froze with fear, wide eyed and gapping. Than there was a sound that was almost like wind going through a field of flowers… I closed my eyes and clenched my fists tight to my sides, there was a loud crash, than nothing. I felt nothing.      I opened my eyes feeling no pain. I looked at Sandra, she who never showed or owned up to emotion, was looking at me completely horrified. She looked at me than the vase that was shattered into a million pieces, than back to me, her jaw went slack with astonishment, her face was a mask of disbelief. I turned around knowing I would be punished severely for what I had just done. I was met by another solid surface as I turned, this surface was not hard cold stone but soft and scratchy material. I looked up slowly as a pair of firm hands fell on my shoulders, tears were streaming down her face, and curios brown eyes looked down at her.     I awoke, breathing hard from surprise. That dream has always been mine, but for unknown reasons, it always ended the same with myself looking in at the scene as if watching from a distance. I could hear the breathing of the two people in the beds next to mine. I rolled over stealing a look at the two guards by the door. Never moving never taking a break, and never talking. I snuggled deep into the soft sheets resting my head against my amazingly fluffy pillow. I didn’t feel like sleeping even if I was dog tiered. I thought about my dream, It wasn’t really a dream but a memory. I was around six, it was the year before my mother had died. I remember looking up into my fathers brown eyes, his face was staid but kind. He took a deep breath and chuckled, “What am I going to do with you?” He had smiled even though I knew he was mad. He knelt down to my level and said taking my hands in his, “Would you please go find Mr. Butler for daddy darling? We should clean up this mess before your mother notices…”      He looked up noticing Sandra for the first time, she was looking down and her hands were clasped tightly together over the middle of her chest, visibly shaken. Her cheeks were a dark red and she looked like a leaf chattering in the wind. “Sylvia,” he wasn’t taking his sight off Sandra. “why were you running from your maid again?” He looked down than back up to Sandra. “You know you aren’t supposed to do that, if mom finds out you could be in big trouble.” He looked at me now, tears were still running down my cheeks into my slightly open mouth. “Well?”    I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. “She didn’t want to wash for supper,” Sandra’s voice was quiet.  She looked up sheepishly, “sir.”     My father looked down at me, “Sylvi?” My fathers voice was kind but his eyes were harsh, “could you please go find Mr. Butler, and tell him that there is a mess that needs cleaning in the second main hallway?” I nodded my head and rushed off to find Butler, my favorite of all the house keepers.      I stopped to look at the damage I had done, the vase was shattered almost to the point of dust.  I took a step toward the shattered pieces of glass and clay, than I saw something wedged between a bigger piece of glass and the floor. I took another step forward. My dad and Sandra were talking silently in the far corner of the room out of ear shot. Taking a few more careful steps, I reached out my hand and very carefully slid a black feather out from under the ruins of the vase.    “Isabelle?” I opened my eyes it was still dark, “Isabelle?” something was touching my shoulder and I jerked out from under the covers not remembering where I was. “Wait…” I lashed out wildly throwing my fists into the darkness. My fist made contact with something and there was a muffled grunt that was just to my right. “hell… Isabelle, its me Bren.” The voice was raspy, witch made me think I hit him in the stomach. Bren…. Do I know a Bren?     “Oh, Bren! I’m so sorry you startled me out of a nightmare. Did I hurt you?” I whispered as loud as I dared.     There was no answer, than as I open my mouth to ask again, something clamped over my mouth. I struggled as I was pulled out of my warm bed. I ripped at the hand over my mouth, as I dug my nails into Bren’s hand he gave me a good shake and spat out a low hiss, “Sssshhhh….” He held me to his chest as I calmed down. “Are you trying to kill us?” His hand was still over my mouth, hard.     “Can you let go of me now?” came out more like ‘ca ou et oh ob mu nou?’ as I managed to mumble out from under his air-tight grip.     “Only if you never punch me in the throat again.” His voice was still raspy and low as if he were making an effort getting the words out through his teeth. I nodded vigorously. I felt his hand leave my mouth, licking my lips they tasted like salt. I turned around on my knees, to meet his eyes.      “What do you want with me?” Even though I wasn’t very happy about being woken up, I felt strangely safe down on the floor so close to him.      “The same thing you want from me.” his voice was calming and soft. “help.” Even though I couldn’t see him I imagined his flawless features around the voice.      “I see…” Sorry but Dr. Sylvia only works from the hours of 10:00am  to, 11:00am. Please try again later. I smiled at my own joke, knowing the boy sitting across from me couldn’t see it. “Well than, you just made my part of the job a whole lot easier.” I was all business now. “Who else knows?” I assumed he wasn’t the only person who wanted freedom.     He moved suddenly, his hand was wrapped around my back. “I’m really sorry about this…” A flash of light swept over the glass doors, than I realized, Where are the guards? I turned back to Bren catching a glimpse of his face in the brief light, he looked horrified, torn.     “Where are th…” I was cut short by the pressure of a kiss on my lips. My eyes grew wide with surprise, It was not what I was expecting. At first it was enjoyable, I closed my eyes and pressed my lips back on his, than, I felt a water fall of fire rolling down my throat. I pulled back gasping, but he wouldn’t let go. The lights flipped on and just as the doors flew open he released me. I fell back screaming Bren’s strong hands still on the small of my back. He grabbed the pillow off my bed and put on the floor, laying my head gently on its fluffy splendor. He shushed me and stroked my hair. Everything was a blur. A guard with an Angel First Rank uniform came rushing through the doors, fallowed by the man with yellow teeth.      “Sit very still.” His voice was urgent and full of pleading. The fire was slowly going away but I lay still unable to move, even thou I wanted to punch him in the neck again.      “False alarm.” the First Rank guard reported to the man with yellow teeth. The man seemed to be looking straight at us, than there was movement from someone restless in their bed.      He looked toward the noise than back to the guard. “Alright,” His voice was like nails being hammered into solid steal. “Lets turn the lights off.” Than they both walked out of the room and it turned dark again. I tried to move but my muscles from my neck down felt like molten lava.      “Why can’t I move?” Why didn’t they see us? I felt breathless, straining my eyes to look at him.     “It will ware off in a little bit.” He also seemed breathless, but whether it was the kiss or his muscles were on fire, I couldn’t tell. I felt a hand under my shoulder and than a one in the crease of my knee. Bren grunted as he lifted my small frame off the ground onto my bed.     “About your question earlier,” he was breathing hard as if lifting my 105 pound body had been a great ordeal of stress on his body. I filled with anger but was to worn and hurt to say anything. “There are three of us, Four including you.” He slowly made his way back over to his bed and lay back down. I wanted to say more to him and ask him more questions but I could no longer feel anything as the numbness made its way up past my neck. My eyes closed as the doors opened and two pairs of clunking boots on a pair of black uniformed figures entered the room to guard the doors till morning.      I awoke the next morning to a voice that sounded as clear as the morning church bells that would go off near the Gardens close to my mansion. “Isabelle…” this voice was unfamiliar, alien to me. “Isabelle…” Someone poked my arm, and I just sat there thinking, Maybe if I don’t move she’ll leave and I can sleep more. But I have never been that lucky. “Hey Bren,” the girl yelled, “are you sure she isn’t dead?” The escape plan     I heard laughing in the background and then a reply “Yes, Sara, I’m sure.” Bren’s voice. This familiar reality sent a shock wave through my body and my eyes flew open with a jolt of anger. What had he done to me last night? My eyes were blurry and my head ached at the sudden brightness of the room. I sat up and glared at Bren groggily. There was a gasp of surprise and disgust from Ronny in the corner of the room, and the rest of the group fell silent. The fog was slowly clearing from my mind and I realized that everyone was staring at, me.     “She’s one of them…” Candice was sitting in her usual chair close to my bed. She had a terrified look in her eyes. All seven people in the room were staring at me as if I had committed a terrible crime and now bore a mark to indicate so. Even Bren looked shocked.      I tore off my blanket to see if I had something on me, than my still half asleep mind registered what Candice had said. What did she mean? I stood confused and in a sort of daze, I slowly started to walk toward the bathroom marked with the picture of a lady, but stumbled and fell to my knees. I sat for a long while on the cold floor holding my head in my hands. I felt a hand on my shoulder and opened my eyes to see who it was but instead of looking into someone’s face I only saw darkness. ***         I woke to Bren’s hand on my face, so gentil and soft, a soft breath escaped my lips. Looking up at him, looking into his violet eyes, I saw concern and a tender closness he must feel for me. My heart skiped as I realized what I was thinking. I turned my head breaking our conneciton. I tried to lift my hand but found it restraind by a leather bealt and a chain over the leather bealt. I lifted my head and saw my ankles were also locked in place.     I looked up at Bren, “Whats going on?” I narrowed my eyes and laid my head back to the pillow under me, my strength leaving me.       He smiled and sat in the chair next to my bed, and even with my most evil look barring down on him, he managed to smile. I was frustrated and scared, and mad that he could smile at this time of my distress. A hard lump formed in my throught. I softend my face as the tears threatened to spill over. Bren must have noticed because he stoped smiling and his look of concern was back.     “Who are you?” the words that spilled from my mouth seemed distant and broken. And what sat in a chair next to my bed was not Bren but something else. A monster, no, a demon. My vision was slightly blurred and things seemed to be rapidly morphing from normal to… not so normal.     The thing on the chair smiled again showing two long white fangs, but the fangs changed back to Bren’s teeth again, just as quick as they had appeared they were gone. As I took in what I was looking at, I screamed. I lashed out at my restraints and tried slipping my hands through them, but they only seemed to grow tighter as I struggled. I was panicking and my mind was in a whirl wind of images of Bren and the monster, of myself and my father’ and as I felt myself loosing concisnis an image of my mother with glowing geen eyes and big black fethered wings, but as I tried to scream for my mother I realized it wasn’t her. I was looking at myself.                      ***     A cool breeze washed over me, and the smell of lemons was sweet and familiar. I inhailed deeply, Lemon has always been my favorite, right along with lavender. I heard trees russtle in the soft summer wind, swaying as if they were dancing to the soft unheard melody only the wind could sing. I felt peaceful… But as I opened my eyes, those feelings of peace disappeared. The smell of lemon was starting to fade and so was the soft summer breeze. And as my soroundings became clear, my computer simulated paridise was forever gone and was now a bad memory to me. There were wiers stuck to my head and an IV dripped next to my bed. I closed my eyes again biteing my lip in frustration. My hands and feet were buckled down and this time I couldn’t move at all.      I heard the sound of air being released and a man in white docters clothes came in through the sliding door, followed by a First Guard, Demon Rank,  carrying a heavy looking gun. And as soon as I heard the whistling I knew the man with yellow teeth would be crowding the doorway with his frightening shadow.       I made myself relax and take a deep breath, I wasn’t ready to be a lab rat I still had to escape back to my mansion.  The whistling was getting louder and I staired at the cealing trying not to look in the direction I knew the yellow toothed man would come from. I heard the clack of shoes on the smooth floor and the tuneless song was reaching a pitch I didn’t care to hear. Echoing off the narrow walls of the room the whistling was ear splitting, I couldn’t help but cringe and close my eyes tight hoping it would go away. My ears ringging my eyes feeling like over inflated water balloons I fought the urge to bite my lip. I could no longer hear the footsteps, only the high pitched whistle that I was sure no longer came from the man but my own spinning head.        “Good morning sunshine,” The whisp of air from the door, surprised me out of my own self enduced torcher. I couldn’t help but draw in a breath of surpise. I breathed heavily, and licked my dry lips. I didn’t want to look at the man, I didn’t want him to see the fear in my eyes. “ How is our little angle this morning?” The man walked closer to my bed stoped at my feet. “Well?” there was expectence in his voice, I ignored it. “I asked you a question!” he yelled slamming his hands down on the metal bed frame.     I jumped near out of my skin and whimmperd. This mad man scared me, and I was showing it… giving him satisfaction. “Look at me,” his voice was rough and demanding. I didn’t want to. ‘no one should have to look at him‘.      I smiled to myself forgetting for a second how he could be waiting to kill me. This is how I copped with danger I laughed in its face. If I were to die right this very second, at least I would die smiling. He still had his long spindely fingers on the frame of my bed, leaning forward trying to anticipate what I might say. “Well?” he growled impatintly. I couldn’t help but smile wider. I lifted up my head as far as the wiers would let me, looked strieght into his black fathomles eyes behind glasses, and replied, “Fine,” he stratend, “Thanks for asking, sunshine.” I spat the last word like I had gagged on something horrific tasting. As I slowly laid my head back down, instead of yelling and cursing me on the spot the yellow toothed man leaned his head back and with a great whoop of laughter said, “Isn’t she something?” and nuged one of the men in white coats who nodded and smiled as if it were actually funny.      I swallowed hard as I realized I had really doged a bullet. The room was quite but the mood had lightened and the atmosphere was almost breathable. The man put his hands behind his back and slowly started to walk to the side of my bed, and said, “You know…” and paused as if he really was having trouble finding words, when it seemed to me he had rehursed whatever he was going to say in front of his bathroom mirror, then whent on, “There has been many great leaders in history: Julius Ceaser, Napoleon Bonapourt… but my favorite has always been Hitlar.” he sat on the end of my bed just like a grandfather might to a grandchild right before bedtime when the child askes for a goodnight story. “His plan was almost flawless, wiping out an entire race of people to builed, if you will, a  ‘perfect race’ of human beings. He saw perfect as German, blonde hair and blue eyes. But there was one problem… Can you guess what that is?” He looked at me intently.     “Hitlar was a shpycopathic murderer?” He smiled and let out a breath of frustration looking down at his hands then back at me.     “No,” he said quietly. Then with one swift movement he was on top of me, face just inches away from mine. I turned my head so I wouldn’t have to meet his dark evil eyes with my own fearful ones. “Humans,” he hissed getting closer to my ear, “aren’t perfect.” His whispered words sent shivers down my spine.     He was still on top of me smiling and I was having trouble breathing. “What does this have to do with anything?” I managed to get out. I felt his smile fade and he lifted his weight from me.     There was movment to my right, and knowing I couldn’t turn my head far enough to see what it was, I went completely stiff. The man walked to the sliding door and the Demon Rank soldiers followed. There was a hiss and the door flew open, the soldiers went first, there was movement again but this time to my right. I had to get someones attention. For all I know it could be worse then what the yellow toothed man could ever do to me. “You didn’t answer my question!” I yelled in desperation.      The man turned just as he was about to step through the threshhold of the room. By the smile on his face this was the right question to ask. “Dear Sylvia,” He looked at me sincerely, as I felt the surpised look cross over my face, I hadn’t used that name in almost nine years. “Did your father teach you nothing?” With the mention of my father I lost it, tears streamed down my face.     “What do you know about my father?” He looked at me and smiled. He tapped the side of his nose in the gesture that said that was for him to know and for me to never find out. He turned to leave again, this time I didn’t see movement but a single black feather slowly drifted down from above me to lay on the blanket covering my stomach.     “Oh, and the answer to your earler question,” he smiled again, this time showing his disgusting yellow teeth, “Your not human.”      His smile faded when he saw the feather, he narrowed his eyes and with a furry his mouth dropped in surprise, he yelled for the soldiers but everything seemed to go so fast that I never found out if they ever got there. In a flash of black everything was silent. The Escape It was dark and I felt as if I were floating in nothingness. The black embrassing me in a sweet hug. I welcomed the darkness and tried to fall deeper into it. I was happy here and wished I could stay. “Isabelle?” That voice. I wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing. I looked around not seeing anything. I tried to blink but it was as dark behind my eyelids as it was in the space around me. Than again “Isabelle?” this time louder. Than all at once the darkness seemed to disapear and I was looking up at Bren in a black blur.      “Whats going on?” I heard someone else ask. It was a voice I didn’t recognize. It was the voice of a man and he had the urgency of a doctor. “Why do her eyes look like that?” It was the same voice.     I tried blinking again and found pain. My eyes were burning like white fire. I made an inhuman noise that surprised myself. My head was spinning and I didn’t understand what was happening. “Someone help me!” I could hear Bren yell through my screams. “Where do you want her?” I was suddenly aware of the hard cold floor underneath me and then it was gone. I kept trying to blink but the pain forced out another ear splitting shriek into my throut. What was happening to me? ***    Dear Mr. Butler,      Why did you leave? When Ken’s dad served me breakfast I was confused. You are the only person who ever serves meals. I like how you do it better. Daddy has been gone for a long time in his office. I don’t like it. You need to come back before Ken’s birthday. Why didn’t you wait until after his birthday? He misses you too and so does Sandy. When I asked her where you went she started crying. I hope your safe. Come home soon O.K?     Love,         Sylvia ***  It was starting to go black again and Bren was yelling. “Todd! Move the beds together!” and, “Ronny! Get a cool washcloth!” He yelled several more orders and it seemed the only one not getting yelled at was Candice. ***     Dear Mr. Butler,     I was listening to the radio and Sandy was crying. She and my mother both were crying. I have never seen mommy cry like that and it scared me. Even daddy was upset and had to go to his office again. A man came to see daddy and when Sandy said he was busy he barged in and went to daddy’s office. I don’t like him, he isn’t very nice. I don’t understand, but the radio man said something about the angel virus thing daddy is working on. You didn’t say goodbye to me before you left to visit your friend so I am sad now. I hope you come home soon.      Love,          Sylvia ***     I hurt so much. I don’t know how much more I can take! My eyes! Someone help me. ***     Dear Mr. Butler,     How are you? When are you coming home? I miss you so much! Mother said I am getting a puppy for a play mate and I am really excited! I have a question for you, ***     Bren put my thrashing and shrieking body on the cusion of what I guessed to be one of the beds. *** Sandy was telling me something about the virus father has been working on. I don’t understand it. She said that a lot of people are hurting because of it. ***    I couldn’t control myself and I was scared. All the voices swerling around me were becoming silent, and I didn’t want to go back into the nothingness. *** I am not sure what she means but is that why you had to leave, to see your friend I mean? Because he is sick? Does he have the angel virus? ***      To me the silence was like death. *** You haven’t written me back yet and this is my third letter. So you better write me back Mr. Butler! I miss you!     Love,         Sylvia          Dear Mr. Butler,     That man… that strange man. He was here, at the house again. I don’t like him. He gives me a funny feeling in my tummy. He doesn’t bring me any presents like other people do. Daddy said it was because he doesn’t have as much money as all his other friends. Ken was sick today and I had no one to play with exept for my new puppy.     Mother says the puppy is a better play mate than you or Ken. That made me feel sad. I also have Sandy to play with. She is helping me with my spelling. I hope you come back soon Mr. Butler. I miss you a lot.     Love,         Sylvia          “Sylvia! Are you up there again reading over that letter?”     “Yes Sandy, I am. I have to make sure its perfect!”      “Well come down here silly girl! We have to go drop off the letter!”      “O.K.!”           P.S.      I hope you are having fun visiting your friend. Daddy said its really hard to visit him from this life. Im not sure what that means but he said that once you got there you would be in a better place. So I hope your in your better place! Daddy said I can’t write any more letters so I will talk to you when you get home. I love you!     Sylvia *** Death. It always seems so close. My father’s work on the infamous Virus was a curse on me and my family. The rancid smell of sterile death always followed us and anyone close to us. First it was mom. She was always sick and none of the doctors could tell her what was wrong. Slowly being poisoned by just being around work equipment from father’s office. Than it was Mr. Butler, the sweet old man. My dad decided to use my dog for an experimental form of virus, it killed him almost immediately. My best friend in the whole wide world was the last victim to my father’s curse. Kenneth died hardly being able to control his own body let alone his mind. He couldn’t speak and had to have bandages over his eyes because the light hurt him. Always screaming and thrashing like a beast in a trap; he wasn’t my Kenneth any more. My father killed everyone I loved including himself. Now it was my turn. Death.   --           Nightmares of black eyes and yellow teeth haunt my mind. People scream for help and claw at the inside of my skull with ragged nails. Publication Date: May 10th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-sylvia.harman

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-dawn-legers-i-039-m-pregnant-and-homeless/

Dawn Legers I'm Pregnant And Homeless!!! Chapter one: The Back Story “Hi I am Anna Kathleen but call me Cat and I used to live with my parents but they kicked me out because I am pregnant. I am seven teen now but I was sixteen about to turn seven teen. My birthday was only a few months away. I have bright red hair and ocean blue eyes. I was thinnish (not to fat and not to skinny. I was just right.) I was really popular in school but I had to drop out. Before I start telling you what’s going on in my life right now, I would need to tell you the back story. I heard a knock at the door and I ran down the stairs and flung myself at the door! “Gigi” I screamed loudly. “So are you sure that your parents aren't gonna be home tonight?” She asked. “I am sure” I reassured her. “Okay so what time does this party start “ she asked. “In about a hour” I said while running up the stairs. “If you were here on time we would have two hours to get ready” I said while giving her a look. “I’m sorry. I took a nap and I woke up and looked at the time and I was late” she explained. I laughed at her and flung open my bedroom door. My room is Corel with baby blue dots on the walls. I have a king size bed that sits up against the wall and on both side have night stands and both have a lamp that sits right in the middle. I have a work desk that sits in front of the window that is right across from my bed and in-between my closet and bathroom is my make up stand.   I walked over to my walk in closet. People have told me that my closet is like a mini mall and I agree. I went to the back of my closet and took a left where all of my slut/party cloths are. I picked out a moron strapless dress that stops at my upper thigh and if I decided to bend over it would show my ass and everything else .Gigi picked out a black dress that is a little longer then mine but not much. It is also strap less. We walked back out of the closet and we changed into our outfits. I turned around to look at her and she did the same thing. We looked each other up and down and said at the same time “damn girl looking fine as fuck” and we started to laugh. “Come on we need to go back in the closet and find us some shoes and matching purses to go with our look. “Don’t you mean mini mall” she corrected me and I laughed. I went back into the closet and took a right this time and walked all the way to the back (just saying on both sides of me there are book selfs that go to the ceiling to the floor filled with shoes. I almost have three hundred pairs but they aren't all in my closet. Some are in the guest room and in the basement room) and looked around find my black sparkly high hills. I finally found them and slipped them on while Gigi picked out some moron sparkly ones and she put them on. We walked back to the main entrance of my closet and I had hangers full of purses (I have easily a hundred purses.) I picked out a black purse while of course Gigi got a moron one. We walked out of the closet and went over to my dresser that sat on the opposite wall of the closet that was full of phone cases. We had to choose a phone case to match our outfit. I got a black one of course and Gigi got a moron one duh. After we put the phone cases on we walked into my master bathroom that is painted baby blue and has a Corel rug, curtain, ,fuzzy toilet cover, and towels (and yes I am in love with these two colors if you cant tell).   I pulled out a straighter and took it to my room (my hair is already curly and it look soooooo much better.) Gigi grabbed a curling iron. We both sat down at my make up stand and while I straighten my hair, Gigi curled her. It took thirty minutes to get our hair done. I looked at the time and it was 9:45 and the party started at 10:00. “Do you wanna be late or look ugly” I asked even though I knew the answer. “I would rather look fashionably late” she said with a small chuckle. “I agree” I said. We sat our hair straightener and curling iron down to let them cool off before we put them away. I pulled out my make up and sat it all down on top of the make up stand (I have maybe about 300 different kinds of make up). I started to put on the make up and I finished with the pretty perfect wing. It took thirty minutes to do my make up (and yes it actually does take a women this long to get ready when she's dressing up or maybe longer. Depends on what’s she's doing.) I looked at Gigi in the mirror and she looked at me. “makeup’s on point” I comments. “So is yours” she said. “Thanks boo” I said while getting up and switching out everything in my old purse to my new purse and Gigi did the same. When I was done I looked over at Gigi to see if she was ready and sure enough she was. We walked out of the front door and got into my car which is a baby blue convertible. I put the key in the engine and let it roar to life. I buckled up and blasted the music when all of the sudden I got a phone call from my mother. Please say she's not coming home early I thought to myself. I turned down the music and answered the call. “Heller mother” I answered. “Hi sweetie. Just got a call from Gigi’s mom. She said that she is staying the night?” my mom asked. “Yeah. I was meaning to call and tell you guys but it slipped my mind” I said telling the truth because I actually did forget. “Well it would be nice knowing that before she called” my mom said kinda annoyed. “Sorry mother” I said trying to sound believable. “You know the rules right. No leaving the house. Keep the house locked. No boys at the house” she remained me. “I know mom” I replied. “Okay sweetie now put Gigi on the phone. “Okay..” I said trying to keep the nervousness out of my voice. I put my hand to the phone and looked at Gigi. “My mother is wanting to talk to you” I said. “I’m a horrible lier” she commented. “I know but try” I said while handing her the phone. “Hello Miss. Whitehead” Gigi said. “Hello Gigi. Now you know the rules right?” My mother asked reminding her. “Yes” she answered. “Okay good. Keep Cat in line okay?” she asked. “Will do” Gigi answered and then my mom hung up. I turned the music back up to high and drove off. It took us forty-five minutes to get the party because it was all the way out in the country. When we pulled up I looked over at Gigi and have her a wink an she returned the wink. “Ready?” I asked. “Ready” she answered. We had to park about a block or two away from the house because there was no other parking spot closer. So we had a long walk before we got to the party. “I hope my crush is here” Gigi said in a excited voice. “Don’t ditch me in there. This party looks huge and I don't want to be alone” I said. “I won’t and if one of us do wonder off just text me” Gigi said. “What if one of our phones are dead. “Then I will meet you on the front porch in a hour” Gigi said. “Alright but still don't leave me until I at least have someone to kick it with first” I replied while giving her a look that said I was being serious. “Okay okay I won’t" she answered. “Thank you” I said and that’s when we walked up to the house and everyone outside was staring at us of course. A few guys whistled. I looked over at Gigi and she was blushing and I could feel my cheeks getting red. I got to the porch but there were so many people that the door was block. I tap on Jacob’s (a friend from school. He is on the football team along with my boyfriend, Kyle) arm. “HEY DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GET US THROUGH THE DOOR” I tried to holler over the music so he can hear me. “ANYTHING FOR YOU” he yelled back. “MOVE!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!!”   He screamed loud enough that everyone heard him and moved. “Thank you” I said and kissed him on the cheek. He started to get red but he tried to hide it by turning around real fast but I still got a glance. I walked through the front door with Gigi on my heel…well I thought she was right behind me but when I looked around to ask her a question she was already gone. “Oh great” I said to myself. I looked around to see where she went but she was nowhere in sight. What a great friend right I thought to myself. I found my way to the kitchen through the crowd and picked up a beer. I fought throw the crowd to the living room and when I got there I was about to sit on the couch when I saw that the couch was taken by a boy sitting down with a girl on his lap and they were kissing. There was also a girl laying down with a boy on top of her and again making out. Great I though to myself. I took a closer look and it was Gigi who was laying down. What the fuck I thought to myself. I walked over to them and tapped on his shoulder. “GIGI WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? I THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T GOING TO DITCH ME?” I screamed at her. “SORRY CAT” she said and continued to suck on his face. Whatever I thought and went back to the kitchen to find something stronger to drink. On my way to the kitchen I bumped into Kyle. “HEY BABY!” I said to him. “BABY YOU MADE HE” he hollered. “OH COURSE. I WOULDN’T MISS IT FOR THE WORLD” I yelled back. “WHAT TO GET SOMETHING TO DRINK AND GO SOMEWHERE WHERE IT WAS QUITER” he asked. “YES PLEASE” I answered. When found our way to the kitchen and I found a bottle of vodka. I was trying to find the cups so I could poor some in a cup and half it with a chase but I couldn’t find any so I handed Kyle four cans of soda and I took the whole bottle of vodka. I’m not going to drink this all I told myself. We went up to one of the room to hang out by ourselves where it was kinda easier to hear each other. When we got to the room I looked around to observe it. It had a king size bed right the middle of the room when you first walk in and to the right and left of it there was a night stand. There was a lamp in every corner of the room. The room was black and it had black carpet. There was a futon by the window to the right of the room and on the left was the bathroom and the closet in that order. I walked over to the futon and say down. I didn't want to lay down because I don't know what Kyle will try to pull so I decided to sit down instead. When I sat down I took opened one of the cokes and took a sip and took a sip of the vodka. “Are you gonna drink all that by yourself?” Kyle asked. “Well no. I was hoping you can help me but I don't know if I will drink much. Someone’s got to drive Gigi home” I said while laughing. “And by the look of it Gigi is already drunk and we haven't even been here for thirty minutes” I said. Kyle laughed at that and so did I. “I’ll be right back” Kyle said with a devilish look in his eyes. “Where are you going?” “I’ll be right back” he repeated. “You’re gonna leave me alone?” I asked. He was already half way out the door so I doubt he heard me. I sat there and took a mother swing of the vodka but this time without any chaser. Ouch that stung I though to myself. I looked at my phone and it has only been three minutes but it seemed like he has been gone longer then that. Five minutes passed by and he finally enter the room again but with fire ball in his hands. “Why did you get that when we have vodka?” I questioned him. “I am more of a fire ball person then vodka. I don’t really like vodka” he commented. “Whatever weirdo” I said with a grin on my face. I looked at him and we locked eyes. Wow I thought. he has the most gorgeous hazel eyes with a hit on grey in them. He slowly leaned forwards and all of the sudden I was leaning forwards too. Our lips touched and I was in a trance. He has the most kissable lips ever I thought to myself. He has big pink lips. I felt a tingle go through my bottle and it felt weird but a good kind of weird. He rubbed his tongue against my low lip asking for entrance and I slowly opened my mouth and he slipped his tongue in my mouth and are tongues danced around each others mouth. It was soft at first but it began to get rougher and rougher by the second. He bit my lip and I started to get red. After we pulled away from each other we both took a huge drink from out alcoholic beverage. “Is your bother here?” Kyle asked trying to make small talk. “I don't know. All I know he is went to go stay the night with a friend tonight. He might be here” I answered. I took another drink and that’s when I started to feel a little drunk. I haven't drunk in a while so I was kinda of a light weight. I turned my head to look at Kyle when all of the sudden our lips were touching again. I moaned out in pleasure he kissed me harder. “Kyle stop. Nothing can happen tonight” I informed him. “Chill out Cat. Niching will happen. We are just kissing and enjoying each others company” he said. I smiled and said “Okay. If thats all we are doing” I said while giving him a   serious look. “Of course. I wouldn't make you do anything that you wouldn't want to do” he said and that made me blush. “Okay” I answered and he quickly pressed our lips together. He slowly laid me down on futon and began to slid his hands up and down my leg which oddly turned me on. I got shivers going through my body and I began to feel myself get wet. I picked myself up from the couch and sat down. “Nothing is going to happen” I reminded him. “Yes baby. I know this” he said kinda rude. “I kissed him to brake the tension and he picked me up and took me to the bed. He stood up and locked the bedroom door. “What are you doing?” I asked. “Do you want anyone walking in here while we are making out?” He asked. “Well no” I answered. He laid on top of me and started to kiss me again and he took his hand and started at my knee and went up my leg but this time he didn't stop he tried to go up my dress. “NO!” I screamed at him. “Okay okay baby. Sorry wont happen again” he said while kissing me. I kissed him back. After a few minutes of kissing each other he got up and brought me my drink. I took it and took a bug gulp. I cringe when it went down my throat. I began to feel sleepy because that’s how I am when I drink. I like to sleep it off. I laid down on the bed and put my head on the pillow. He laid behind me and put his arm around me. “Wake me up in two hours so I can go home” I said. “Okay baby. I will” he said. I closed my eyes and within seconds I was asleep. When I woke up I was in pain down there and Kyle was gone. There was blood all over down there. Right then I knew he rapped me. Tears began to sting the back of my eyes. it hurt so bad I thought to myself. Tears streamed down my face and that’s when the door opened. It was Kyle. “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SICK BASTERED!” I screamed at him. “Will do” he said   while putting his hands in the air over his head like he gives up. “But if you tell anyone I will kill you” he threaten and walked out the door. After I heard him go down the stairs I ran out the room and called Gigi. “Hey girl whats up?” she answered. “I’m going to the car and i’ll be back to pick you up. be outside in ten minutes or I’m leaving without you” I warmed and hung up, not giving her time to answer me. I ran out the house and down the dirt road. When I got to my car I hopped in and drove back down to the house. I saw Gigi waiting outside and she hopped in. “What the fuck is going on? Have you been crying?” She asked when she saw my make up all fucked up. “I’’ explain when we get to my house I told her. “What the fuck is that all over your dress?” she asked. “Is that alcohol? Are you sure you are sober enough to drive?” she asked. “Yes I am fine. I am not drunk.” I told her and I was drove off. Out of nowhere Gigi went touched the wet part and screamed when she saw blood. “Did you start your period?” she asked while digging through her purse to find a tampon. “No….” I choked because I was trying to fight back the tears. “Then whey are you bleed down there?” she questioned me. I looked over at her and she was the tears streamed down my face. “NO CAT” she screamed in shock. I nodded my head while I cried harder. “Why are you crying? You just lost your v-card. What is really that bad?” she asked. I looked at her and she looked deep in my eyes and without saying anything she knew what happened. She go mad as fuck. Her face turned red in anger. “WHO THE FUCK DID THIS TO YOU!!!!” she screamed. “K..y..l..er…” I tried to say through my tears.   Publication Date: October 1st 2017 https://www.bookrix.com/-dta5d3c3a1b1c95

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-princessci-sweetie/

princessci Sweetie Chapter 1 Entertainment is something I did for a living, it’s not who I am. I’d like to think that I’m pretty normal sometimes, I laugh, I cry, I hurt, I think guys suck sometimes, but when you’re in the spotlight, everything seems good. Sometimes, I feel like I have it worst, because I’ve always got to keep my guard up, I don’t know who to trust, I don’t know who wants to date me for who I am, or who wants to be my friend for who I really am. That is why I am here, starting a new life, trying to sort my life out, trying to get away from all the stress, and to leave my past behind. So if you have a moment or two, I’ll tell you about my journey. My name is Sweetie Hamilton. I have lived on this earth for nineteen, nearly twenty years. I grew up in the ‘smoke’ – on the violent, gritty dangerous streets of South London, where my bastard of a father walked out, and left his family to face the wrath of the tough London life. Not being able to cope, my mother had a nervous breakdown, and just gave up. She started leaving me and my big brother alone at different times of the night, drinking, bringing home lots of different men, some would even beat her up – but she would still bring them home, and sometimes, for the whole day, she would just lay in bed, completely knocked out – and wouldn’t bother to get up to have a bath, or even to feed herself, let alone us. What she is normally good at is to argue with my big brother Danny. So at those times- which was most of them time, my big brother-Danny, would go out and try to get us something to eat. I hated seeing my mum like this, I hated living like this. I remember I used to sit in my bedroom, drawing pictures of my fantasy house, and my mum with a big smile on her face. I actually believed that this day would come along- silly me, I should have known that it would never happen. So, as I grew older, still living with my so called good mum, she got worse- not seeing her for weeks. Danny got a lot bigger, and started to stay out late, with his friends. It seemed like overnight, he had changed into an aggressive person. He came in one night, burst through the door, went straight to the kitchen and worked out with a sharp knife. I was frightened so I was pretending to be asleep on the sofa when he slammed the front door shut behind him, I got up and looked through the window and witnessed him stab a man to death. It was horrible, scary and disgusting. Eventually, I had to learn how to survive on the streets on my own, seeing as my mum was out of the question- practically dead, she just hibernates herself inside, or disappear off somewhere, for days, weeks or sometimes even months. Danny? He tries to be there, but he’s always “at work”, so he says or he is “taking care of some business.” Chapter 2 Friday 13th of October – my 16th birthday, I woke up that morning- surprised to see my mum cooking in the kitchen, and have actually remembered my birthday. She gave me a huge kiss on my cheek; I was thinking that it was going to be a good day. The only thing was that Danny wasn’t there, didn't know where he was. But that morning was the only time I remember spending with my mum. Well, I decided I was going to get dressed up, and go out with a few of my mates. It took me hours to get ready. As i got out the hot bath, I wiped the steamed mirror, and looked into my eyes, telling myself that this will be a night to remember. I wrapped the towel around my body; strolling into my bedroom. After I had moisturised my body, I began to apply my make-up; slapping on my foundation, making sure I had the perfect touch, I dipped my brush into the brown golden bronzer and swirled it onto my cheeks. I decided to wear jade green eye shadow, I wanted to stand out. I then changed my mind to a black, glittery grey, to get that smoky look. 8pm, out with my mates, we all got into a nightclub, it was the most fun I had in ages. I met a really cute guy he was tall, light skinned, soft hair, and had the most gorgeous hazel eyes, he was 19, so I told him I was 18: seeing as I did look it, well I do have a baby face but at the same time I am tall and I have a body to die for. I don’t really remember his name, but I knew for sure that it started with a ‘D’; he was really nice to me and he even bought me and my friends some drink. As the night was coming to an end, it’s almost 2am. Most of my friend has already gone home apart from – Whitney and Chanel. ‘D’ offered to take me home in his car. I would have said no but he was such a gentleman so it was hard to. He paid for a taxi to get Whitney and Chanel home safely, I was feeling a bit tipsy, so I agreed to get in the car with him and I fell asleep in the back of the car. Waking up, I did not smell the aroma of my musky abode. Instead I woke up to what I could only describe has a spread in a ‘home’ magazine, or even a 5 star hotel. I sat up in the bed and brushed my hair out of my face. I gathered the silk duvet to my chest, and sat with my chin in my knees. I didn’t know what to do or think. My memory at this stage was very vague. I reached out for my phone, to find that I had 15 missed calls from Whitney and 2 missed calls from Danny. I couldn’t think straight, I had a bad headache. The first person that I thought of was my mum. But then at the same time there was no point in thinking about my mum because I probably wasn’t on hers. I have been out all night and she probably hasn’t noticed that I’m gone. I was just about to give Danny a call but I have a huge urge to use the toilet. As I slowly shifted off the bed, into the room came the guy I had met last night, wrapped in a red towel. I suddenly felt embarrassed and speechless, that I froze where I was. He looked at me. But the look made me uncomfortable, I couldn’t look back at him, then the silence broke, he said: “Sweet cheeks, right?” I looked up and, adjusting the covers around me I said confidently: “No, it’s Sweetie”. He replied sarcastically: “well Sweet cakes, thanks for the night and all, but it’s time for you to go”. Shocked by his reply, I couldn’t get my clothes on fast enough, I even forgot about using the toilet. Now I know what it feels like to be used, guess that was my Friday the 13th bad luck. Chapter 3 A week later, still couldn’t confess to my friends what I had done, I know this much- they would have disapproved but hey, sometimes a girl got to make her own decisions. I haven’t seen Danny in over a week, my mum’s disappeared again; no surprise there, as usual. I suppose it’s another night out with the girls. Monday morning, sitting in the head teacher’s office, he says he has his concerns, asking loads of questions and that he has been trying to contact my mum because of my lack of attendance and poor grades. My excuse was that my mum was ill; there I go, covering her back again. So, there you have it, at then ruthless age of sixteen, I did nothing but party, stay out late, drink, and fail my GCSE’s. I even took up smoking because it looked cool. It was inevitable; Danny’s gone and got himself locked up, so I won’t be seeing him for the next eight years, so it’s just me and mum. Two years later, I’m now established; Sweetie, the top performer at Venus. The girls and I have got a stag do on; you know what that means- extra bonuses because I’m only on the game for the money. I’m going to be somebody, and get of this dump. I’ve already got at least three grand saved. I saw that supposedly mate of mine- Whitney, up the high streets, she totally ignored me, stupid cow, wag wanna be- she claims that she works for Ralph Lauran from when we done work experience in year 10. Our friendship just died out, we both went our separate ways. I’ve arrived at Venus, it was packed, and it was like being in a zoo, all the whistling, hooting and howling. God! I hate my job. 11 ‘o’ clock, Selina had finished her performance; it was my turn for my solo performance. I sensed a bad vibe tonight, a sick feeling in my stomach. I gulped down a shot of vodka, and the last drag on my cigarette. Here I am twisting and turning like a gymnast… To me the crowd looks like ghouls and devils chanting. I wanted to throw up, the music got louder and louder, I wanted it all to stop. I don’t want to do this neither do I want to chicken out. In that second, I heard a husky voice: “Over here gorgeous.” I turned to the direction of where the voice is coming from and saw a middle-aged man. He raised his eyebrows and beckoned me, I looked back to see if Smith was there to protect me from punters like him becausen they weren’t allowed to touch us but he wasn’t. I took the chance to listen to him when he invited me to his table. He seemed like the business type; expensive clothing plus the way he speaks… definitely a business man. I thought this could be my ‘pretty woman’ moment. I sat and spoke with him by this time another dancer has already taken the stage. I felt there was something familiar about him, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. At the end of our conversation, he slipped a £50 note in my hand and said: “I’ll see you next time sunshine.” Then he got up and left. I remember my Dad calling me sunshine. This is one of the few memories of him I kept to myself. Anyways I dismissed all the thoughts of my Dad because he’s a betrayal. Chapter 4 I was the last to leave the club that night, as I promised Smith I would help clear up- anything to get a few more bob, and I noticed Smith had been drinking a lot more than usual. I was wiping down the bar top, then all of a sudden, Smith breaks down- starts crying, he starts blabbering on about his wife leaving him: “and she took the kids, what am I gonna do Sweetie?” I didn’t know what to say, so instead, I went over to him and gave him a hug, and then he started to hold onto me tighter. I tried to pull away, but he slammed me against the bar, I felt helpless, I think I’ve hurt my back, I shouted. “Smith, what are you doing? This isn’t you!” He snarled at me: “Oh, I’ve got nothing else to lose, c’mon Sweetie, make me happy tonight!!” As he ripped my top buttons apart. I tried to wrestle with him, to let me free, but he got more and more violent, he slammed me head to the floor. The next thing I know, I looked up, and saw him zipping up his trousers, and he said to me: “this will be our little secret, don’t want the other girls getting jealous now do we?” with a smirk on his face, he walked off into his office and left me, spread out on the floor. I got up as quick as I could, tears falling down my face and I rushed out of the building. I will never forget that night, Smith was like a big brother to me, I thought he was my friend, how can I trust anyone now. A few days later, I plucked up the courage to go into work, my mum was doing my head in, she’s got yet another new boyfriend, and I needed the money. When I arrived at work, Smith tried to apologize to me, it was hard for me to accept it, so I shrugged my shoulders, and decided I was never going to speak to him again, it’s time for me to move on. So tonight, I done my shift, said my goodbye’s to the girls, as I was leaving I saw that old familiar friend of mine, you know the business type, I was about to walk through the door, when I felt someone tug my arm, I turned around, it was him, he had the biggest, possible smile on his face; “you alright, Sunshine” he said. Shrugging my shoulders I replied: “I suppose.” “Where are you off to?” “Anywhere, but here.” “Fancy a drive; I don’t see anything that interests me in here.” The comment made me smile, but I hesitated, “is this another trap?” I asked myself. But there was something about him, a kind of warmth, a connection, so I thought to myself, how much worse can this get, and followed him to his car, I didn’t ask what his name was. I’m in his black, Astin Martin, its beautiful, and smell of leather. “By the way, what’s your name?” “Just call me, Mr H.” Publication Date: April 2nd 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-princessci

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-rassberrykisses-xander-039-s-ending/

Rassberrykisses Xander's Ending English This is a dedication to Derek. May your help inspire the world No matter how much she complained, Buffy had come to have expectations about her sacred duty, and when she found herself in the middle of a slow night she could barely stand it. Somewhere along the line, slaying had become a two vamp a night habit. The rush of adrenaline as the battle started, the fire in the fight, the thrill of battle, and then there was the way they poofed and turned into a cloud of dust, well that was just neat. Buffy looked around and sighed *Nope, not a bloodsucker in sight.* "I wonder if they make a patch for this?" Buffy said aloud then chuckled to herself. Buffy continued down the familiar path in the graveyard. She never thought that she would find this place comforting, but patrolling the campus still felt strange, and these weekend visits home let her unwind a little. Up ahead around a bend in the path, was a little bench that faced east over the graveyard, and with dawn only an hour or so away, the slayer was considering taking in a nice sunrise. Buffy was a little disappointed to find the bench occupied when it came into view but suddenly brightened. *Maybe it's a mean nasty vampire,.,., cool.* The slayer thought for a moment and decided she needed practice sneaking, the art of the sneak, to sneak and then to slay. *And Giles says I never plan.* With her plan firmly in place Buffy began to sneak up on the suspected vamp, but when she got within fifteen feet, it spoke. "Hey Buff." *Apparently my sneaking needs more work than I thought.* "Xander? Is that you?" The figure in front of her made no move to turn, "Yeah, the Xand-man, guilty as charged." Buffy sighed, no slaying but now she at least had someone to talk to. She went over and sat on the bench next to Xander. "So what are you doing out here? You know it's not safe." "That's the rumor, I just came to watch the sunrise." Xander said shortly. Buffy looked at her friend expecting him to ramble on, and when he didn't she began to feel a little awkward. "Oh,.,.,., So, where have you been, I haven't seen you in a couple of days?" "Actually Buff, it's been ten." "What?" "Ten days, you haven't seen me in ten days." "Really?" Xander nodded, but said nothing more. Ten days? It couldn't be ten days. One of her best friends, and his name hadn't even crossed her mind. Suddenly she was wishing for the boredom she had felt moments ago, now there was nothing but guilt. She looked again at Xander, and realized he had yet to turn in her direction. "I'm sorry Xander, I've been so busy with school and slayage, I just didn't think,.,.," Xander quickly turned and looked at her for the first time that night, and she was struck by how tired he looked. "Don't Buffy, you don't need to be sorry, don't apologize for having a life. I'm actually happy that your so busy with school and all that other stuff, for the longest time I was afraid you'd never get there." Buffy slugged him on the arm playfully, "Hey buddy my grades may have not been the best, but they wouldn't keep me out of college." She said, chuckling once again, but Xander didn't join her. "That is not what I meant Buffy, and you know it. And for the record, you may not see it but I do, you are one smart cookie." Xander turned to resume his previous vigil over the graveyard, as Buffy stared at him thoroughly confused. "Uh,.,., thanks. So what have you been up to the last ten days? Tell me of the adventures of the mysterious Mr. X." "Well, for the last six I've been reading, researching actually." Buffy was suddenly on her feet. "Is there something Giles hasn't told me about?" Xander reached out and took Buffy's hand and sat her back on the bench. "No, there were just some questions I needed answered, vampire questions, Angel got me thinking over the whole soul issue, so I decided that research boy needed to ride again." Buffy didn't know what to make of this turn in Xander's attitude, but she decided to go along with it. "Did you find anything out." "Actually I did, I had to go outside of the accepted Watcher materials." "Are you going to keep me in suspense?" "I got to thinking about the fact that Angel could remember every thing his demon did, it bugged me, but I didn't dwell on it, recently though it started to bug me again. Did you know some believe that the soul doesn't leave the body when the vampire takes over." Buffy was beginning to get angry, "Are you saying that Angel was pulling some scam? How could you think that?" Xander sighed heavily and turned once again to his friend. "No, I'm not. What my research showed was that when the person becomes the vampire there is a struggle for dominance between the demon and the soul. Some souls are stronger than others and some demons are stronger than others. But no matter which ends up in control, the other is there for the ride, it's a constant fight, why do you think so many vampires kill the ones they are closest to when they first turn. The soul is already confused, and weak from the death of the body, add the sudden horror of witnessing the death of the ones they loved the most, and it makes for an easy victory for the demon. For as long as the vampire exists there is a war for control, the demon gets it's real jollies from torturing the soul trapped with it, as much as from the kill and the blood." Xander looked away from the pained expression on the slayers face and back to the east before he continued. "There are some vamps where the demon has complete control, like Angel was, then there are ones that the soul has more control over, Spike and Drusilla would probably fall into this category." Noting the confusion on Buffy's face, Xander explained, "Some souls are monsters to begin with, Spike, then there is Drusilla, I think her soul was broken before Angel turned her and the demon can't quite figure our how to reach her." "But no matter who is in control, the demon or the soul, the other one always has influence, trying to gain control, I think that would explain why some vampires seem to get staked so easy, the soul trying to find a way out. And lets say the soul is in charge, the demons always there waiting for the opportunity to take over, which is what happened with Angel. The curse didn't give him his soul back, it just put it in charge. I think that the gypsies would agree with what I'm saying, they probably hold the soul somewhat responsible for not being able to fight the demon better. I mean gypsies aren't monsters, why would they curse the soul of someone they didn't think had anything to do with what happened to the girl, and make them live through what Angel had to go through. The constant fear that the demon would take control and hurt the ones you love." "You have been busy, did you run this by Giles?" In his best British accent Xander said. "Unsubstantiated theories, though I can not discount them outright, I see no evidence to alter my current beliefs." Buffy had to laugh at that. "And what do you think?" "I have reasons to believe I am right." Xander said solemnly. "C'mon Xander cheer up, what do you say you and I each go home take a nap and then meet up later to just do some quality slacking? Sound like a plan." Xander looked at her for a moment before replying. "Sounds like a good plan Buff." "So come on, lets motor." "You go ahead, I'm gonna wait for the sunrise, It's really nice from this view." "Are you sure?" "Positive." "All right, I'll see you around noon, just come over to my moms." Buffy turned and started down the path, and she had almost gone out of sight of her friend when she heard him call her name. "BUFFY!" She turned back to see Xander smiling at her for the first time that night, and felt better just looking at that lopsided grin. "What Xander." He seemed to think over something for a minute before he yelled out "You're the best." And gave her two thumbs up. Buffy found herself laughing again, "You are getting stranger and stranger, I'll see you later Xander." "Goodbye Buffy." Xander said simply then turned his head once again. Buffy started down the path and thought over the strange conversation she had just had with Xander. Sometimes she just couldn't figure him out. She was worried about him though, he had looked so tired, and when he had grabbed her hand he was cold and clammy, * I hope he's not getting sick. He was so pale and,.,.,. * "OH NO!" Buffy turned and started to run back to where she had left her friend as the first rays of the sun broke over the horizon, panic rising in her with every step. And as she came into view of the bench, her world seemed to come to a sudden stop. Her friend was no where in sight, only a slightly scorched park bench and some ashes dancing in the breeze. She took her previous place on the bench and looked out at the rising sun as unchecked tears rolled down her cheeks. "You know Xander, you were wrong,.,., you are the best." End. Text: I do not own anything from "Buffy the vampire" Series. All rights reserved. Publication Date: March 4th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-rassberrykisses1

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-alex-digorino-tragedy/

Alex Digorino Tragedy To my best friends Chapter 1 The cabin was cold as Sydney slept on her bunk bed. There were many stink bugs in the cabin and a couple over her head as she slept. One fell on her cheek and she woke up. She said a spell and all of them went on her brother's face. "HEY!" He yelled when the landed. "Sydney no magic!" her mother yelled. "Okay, okay! I just wanted them off MY face." She said. Her mother climbed up on her bed. "Honey, I know just because you have your full powers you want to use them but you can't I forbid you." Sydney rolled her eyes at her mother. "Whatever." Her mother thumped her on the forehead. "Whatever is not the proper response to any grown up or adult that speaks to you." her mother said. "So so so sorry mother. Won't happen again." Sydney said with tons of sarcasm. Her mother slapped her. "You will be as good as your brother. So help that I have to drain your powers. You will never EVER see outside this cabin again if you keep it up. More importantly you will never see David ever again." Her mother threatened strongly. "Got it." Sydney said in no more that a whisper. Then she got more courage. "Sorry I'm not what you wanted me to be. Sorry I don't build my own toys or hunt for food. Sorry I'm a bookworm and not a technology person. Sorry I don't care about your precious little boy. Most of all I'm sorry for being born." Sydney finished. "How's that for your honesty mom? Speechless? What!?" Her mother climbed down and went outside. Sydney smirked. She had won this round. Living the poor life in a small cabin had it's perks. She fell asleep. The cabin was quiet when she woke up. The Christmas lights were off. She got her watch out of her bag on there with her clothes towel and all her other little things that she needed. She looked at her watch with her flashlight. 2:30 AM. Now was her chance. As quiet as a mouse she crept down with her bag equip with her sleeping bag, blankets, clothes, and her electronics. She unlocked the door and took her key so she could come back whenever she wants. Publication Date: November 19th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-cookiesrock11

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-holli-m-hoover-the-new-kid/

Holli M. Hoover The new kid New Kid First Time Chapter 1:Being the new kid in town sucks.No one knows your name you dont know where to go people always make fun of you if you say a word or phrase wrong.The first day I went to a new school I was scared because nobody knew my name and no one knew how hard it was coming in the middle of the year.I was happy when I got home that day but then my parents started nagging me. Second time Chapter 2:The next day at school was a little better but people kepht asking me my name and where I came from and that was kind of annoying but I just said my name is Holli Hoover and I came from Taft.They kehpt asking me if I knew people. On the second day I was there I met a girl named elizabeth and she became my best freind there is so much drama at this school as I thought myself. Thrid Time Chapter 3:Finally its the weekend no more annoying teachers trying to tell me what to do,no more kids who pick their nose,no more drama,home im finally home.Friday night I stayed at my freinds house and we walk places and had a whole bunch of fun.Saturday she stayed the night with me and we went skating she kehpt falling it was awesome.Sunday oh no I thought this is the last day before we go back to school. Fourth Time Chapter 4:The next week was amazing there was no more asking whats your name how are you where did you come from.They just said "Hey Holli whats up"? Monday we had bannah nut bread and we got to talk to our freinds while we were eating.What I learned monday was you dont need to be poppular you just have to have 1 freind 1 FREIND when everyone else is trying to be popular you have one freind and thats someone who listens to your feelings.When I got home my parents were sitting in the living room and they were crying and I asked "what was wrong"?They said "Jordan commited sucide yesterday".I ran up to my room turned on the news and saw my best freind from my old school was dead. Fifth Time Chapter 5:I didnt go to school the next today because I went to go pay respects to Jordans parents.Alot of people were there crying becauase it is a sad thing to have someone kill themself at that age.I mean that people think its more emotinal for teeneagers because they didnt get a chance to see the adulthood and only when we find out what would cause this kind of thing we will reslove.I wanted to just burst out crying so hard but crying wont make Jordan come back.I said some words about Jordan to his family.I said "Jordan was a nice caring person he was very nice to people I cant understand why he would have done such a thing I hope that he rests in peace with no proublems he is with god now". sixth time Chapter 6:I went back to school and everyone kehpt saying im sorry your freind past away I will help you threw this and im like you dont know how it feels to loose someone that you care about so much.I told all the people sorry I am a mess it just hurts really bad to know my best freind would do such a thing. seventh time Chapter 7:The next week I went back to my old self and I did a report on the populars along with Kennedy and we all said the people who put other people down are people who either have a bad life or want atteion and you be above them dont just sit there and let someone get bullied you tell them to stop or you will be just as guiatly because you let them do it people commit sucide because o that kind of tuff its sad that a person would do that but it happens.Imagine a world with no bullies everyone got along it would be so amazing. eighth time Chapter 8:Kenndy and I got an a on are project and we were so happy and then the next day at school they had cheerleading tryouts and a talent show sign up o was going two do both.I went to cheerleading practice and I thought I did pretty well because I did a back hand spring and a backflip and a cart wheel and are regular cheer which is "I said beeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrr its cold in here I said there most be some losers in here". They told me good job and I have a relly good chance.Then I went to the talent show and I had to do look at me now.They said "omg you are good" you should tottaly amzing and we would like you to go to our state talent show.I went home and I was so happy and my parents ask me why and I said "I might be a cheerleader and on a state talent show" My mom stood up and said my baby is going to be a cheerleader. ninth time Chapter 9:They got the results I walk in to school with my hair straign and pants and a shirt and some boots and evryones like good job so I went to the poster board and I made it for both things and so I did a back hang spring out of the crowd I was so happy.During school we had a cermony for people who made the teams I was so happy but they told us we had to keep our grades up.At practice they tault us a new cheer it goes "were here to vaccat you ashland and were her one thousand strong and our arms are always with you and eyes on every man oh yes were to cheer you to put the pep in play SO FIGHT FIGHT ASHLAND FIGHT FIGHT ASHLAND ON TO VICTORY". So after that I had to go to my talent show prep.I wasnt really sure if I wanted to sing look at me now.I was thinking of singing tommorw by chris young.I went home and some of my cheer freinds came. tenth time Chapter 10:On my cheer squard there are 10 girls on the team.The first six are Ashley who is captin who you dont want to make mad.Kenzie who is assistant captian which means if Ashley is sick then she is our captian.The third is Taylor she has been on the cheer aquad for 3 years but has never made captian.The fourth one is Amanda and she is really popular her dad created nerds.Thee fifth one is Trisha and she is really nice and shy and funny.The six one is tifanny and she is the popular girl at our school I know that the captian is suppose to be but its not.The seventh one is me Holli I wouldnt call myself the best but I think im pretty good.The eighth onen is elizabeth and she is really out going and she is always the first one to know stuff.The nith one is Kaytlynn she has brautiiful hair and she is really pretty. The tinth one is Hannah and sje is really funny and nice. eleventh time Chapter 11:There werernt many people at the talent show prep because they were in other activites like chess club and sportrs club.So it was canceled I was kinda happy and because I wanted to havea chance by myself to do cheers and so I was practing and I was so happy when I got to Ap math because math is my favirote subject.My grades were thru the roof and this is the best years of my life and I love school being a cheerleader and a singer and a straight a student.I was so happy to go home because I was so tired and I had a 2000 word essay due so I type it on my laptop and it was so easy and I loved writing and the report was on people they admire. tweleth time Chapter 12:I went to school the nect day and we had a alot of stuff going on and it was so hard.We had a cheerleader practicr because we had a comptioen in a week.Then my family and I moved to a very loud neighboorhood and thats when I met my boyfreind Adam he was the sweetest anyone could have everyone always made fun of me calling him jungle pits because his pitts have hair in it.Unfortunally Adam and I never last.But this time we lastest for a while Adam asked me to the 8th grade prom and I said yes so I went home and called my best freind Kaytlynn and we talked about who we were going to prom with and she had Drake and I had Adam. Text: no ome is to use this book as their own i made it so yeah All rights reserved. Publication Date: November 27th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-holli00

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-sucen-rodriguez-a-thorn-on-a-rose/

Sucen Rodriguez A Thorn On A Rose The Series Prologue: Have you ever been hurt? What if there was something about you, something you couldn't accept or live with? What would you do? For Rose the options were slim. The hatred she feels, the anger and resent, eat away at her within every minute of everyday. The truth, to her, was unbearable. Sometimes she wondered why she was born like this. Maybe it's true, maybe the truth does hurt... As Rose layed on her bed sleeping, under her eyelids she could feel a bright light coming through. The sun had woken her. She hated mornings but she had to wake up, it was the last day of school. She stood up and walked towards her mirror. She touched her face as if she didn't like what she saw. Rose was beautiful indeed. With light brown eyes, long brown hair, and lips so full and as pink as a flowers petals, such true beauty. But Rose didn't see that. What she saw was pure ugliness. She didn't think she was as fair or as good as the next girl. Having been bullied when she was younger, makes her believe what she believes today. Rose looked at the clock on top of her dresser drawer. "Ugh, it's 7:30 a.m., I'm going to be late if I don't hurry up." She grabbed her towel and rushed in the shower. A couple minutes later, she came out and combed her wet hair. Then rummaged through her clothes to find what to wear. She picked out her favourite pair of skinny jeans, some black flats, and a fitted white shirt. She looked in the full body mirror and loved the way her figure looked in those clothes. Rose was thick in all the right places. That's probably one of the things she loves most about herself. She then brushed her hair into a cute ponytail and applied some lip gloss to her lips. As she walked downstairs, she could hear it. Her parents were arguing again. You would think that a fifteen year old would get used to it but she didn't enjoy the fact that their arguing was because of her. " You should have never put her at that school!", her father yelled. "You know what, the only reason she is the way she is, is because you are so over-protective! You were the same with your sister when you were younger and what did she end up doing? She sneaked around, got herself mixed up with drugs, and got pregnant at a young age. Is that what you want for Rose?!" Rose closed her eyes. She hated being the reason behind this war. She grabbed her bag and ran out the door without being noticed. As she walked to school, flashbacks rushed into her mind. The first time she had gotten herself into trouble with her father was when she snuck her boyfriend into the house. 'Rose reached for her phone that layed on her bed and texted her boyfriend, Trey. "Meet me at my house, I wanna hang out." Five minutes later, her boyfriend came knocking at her door. She reached for the knob, turned it, and as the door opened, she saw no one there. She was puzzled and poked her head out, getting scared when her boyfriend jumped out in front of her. "Are you crazy?My heart is beating so fast!" "Then I guess I scared you good", her boyfriend said with a flirtatious smile. He leaned forward and kissed her lips. Rose felt as if she were on cloud nine. Everytime he kisses her, it's like time stops and her heart dances and skips a beat. She invited him in and he looked around with curious eyes. Then he looked at her and smiled as if approving on her decour. They sat down on her bed and he placed his hand on her thigh. Rose felt uncomfortable. She looked down and gave him a wry smile. Trey then leaned over and kissed her lips passionately. To her it seemed as though time flew by. She remembered he had gotten there at 6:30 p.m. and it was now 7:50 p.m. All they did was talk for the most part but then all hell broke loose. Her father walked in and saw them kissing. The following things that happened scared every cell inside of her. A rage came over her father. His eyes were so red with anger, that she thought she had seen the devil inside of them. He started yelling at Trey. Trey ran through that door so fast, that it seemed as though he left withing a half blink of an eye. Her father's eyes were fixed on the direction Trey had left. Soon enough, his angry piercing eyes were fixed on her. He walked towards her as if he were a cheetah ready to attack its prey. Rose was now hyper-ventilating, her chest felt tight, like her body couldn't take the fear her heart felt. He placed his hand on her neck gripping it hard. He slammed her on the wall and hot tears ran down her face. "What were you thinking? Huh? Look at me when I speak to you!" She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. It's as if her words were scared of her father's booming ones. He smacked her so many times that she couldn't feel the tears running down. It hurt. Publication Date: August 9th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-sucen13

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-maria-d-academy-of-realization/

Maria D. Academy of realization not completed My friend did all of this I just uploaded it :) HI  Ok first I want to say...thank you for look at the book and choosing to read it :) and secondly I wanted to say that I didn't write this, my friend wrote it and does not own an account so he is using mine......ugh I feel so used..  Anyways please enjoy and write in the comments what you think. We love good comments but bad commets more because it helps tells us what we are doing wrong :) Ok thank you, hope you enjoy! Chapter 1 I felt the uncomfortable yet familiar stinging sensation in my lunds as I ran around the track at my school, whil I harbored no love for sports I prided myself on my physical condition.I could see my breath clouding out in front of me as I ran, although it was mid-winter the track was clear of snow like always. I felt a buzzing in my pocket and pulled out the gem that I used as an alarm clock, the time flashed across the screen. Time to get ready , I thought to myself. I smiled and put on a burst of speed to finish my lap, I caaught my breat before heading back to my dorm to get a shower as I opened the door I felt my bookbag sliding across the floor. I gathered up my clothes, and shower suppliers as I haded to the shoer on the other side of my hall. I shut the door to the shower stall after I undressed and turned the water on, I let our a satisfied sigh as the warm water ran down my body. After about three minutes of washing and scrubbing I shut the water off and stepped out of the stall with my towel around my waist. I barely had time to step back into the stall as Will went sliding by on a bar of soap. "Help,help,hel-" his screaming was cut short as he slammed into the wall. I winced and went to the changing room and put on my "uniform". which consisted of a white button up collared shirt and a tie. We were allowed to wear any kind of pants we wanted,finger-tip length for girls and whatnot. I slipped on my pair of blue jeans and put my shirt on, I chuckled to myself as I buttoned up my shirt. The thought of Will hen he intentionally-or at least I hope it's intentionally- buttons up his shirt the wrong way, flashing through my mind. I lossely tied my tie, mainly because I don't like buttoning up my shirt all the way, and stepped out of the changing stall. I passed a disgruntled Will (with a noticeable lump on his head) and headed to my room, thankfully I didn't have a roommate and could just pile my stuff on the spare bed. I grabbed my bookbag on my way out of the door, I checked my watch and rolled my eyes.  I could have taken a longer shower I thought to myself grumpily as I waled to my first class, I met up with my best friend Jesus as he stepped out of his room. " 'Sup Jenkins, how ya doing" he said giving me a brace filled smile,now for a mexican with glasses and braces Jesus was pretty intimidating considering he was close to six feet tall. "Stupid video" I mumbled under my breath. "What was that" He asked. "I said I'm going good, what about you?" giving him my best fake smile. He rolled is eyes as we made or way to our first class, as we walked through the hallway I saw other people slowly trickling from their rooms. When we walked into class Jesus and myself instantly took the two desks furthest away from the front of the room. The teacher checked her watch and then stood up and cleared her throat. "Good morning class today we're going to learn about-" the rest of what she was saying fell on deaf ears as I zoned out. Honestly we'd been learning about the same thing for a whole week, sure it was advanced, what can you expect to learn in an AP class, plus I actually read the board when I walk into class. We were learning about the way math can be applied to magic and other things throughout the world. I looked around and only noticed one person my arch rival- academically speaking he was cool otherwise, (except for that fist fight but that was one time)- Anthony that was as bored as I was. “Mr. LeRoy would you mind repeating what I just said”? my teacher asked a triumphant glint in her eye finally happy she caught me doing something wrong. I heard a few snickers mainly from Will and Paul’s direction. I blushed and stood up. “I uh believe you were uh telling us about how.. um math correctly applied to any situation can be a benefit” I guessed and winced at the same time “Hmph lucky guess Mr. LeRoy, now sit down and listen” she said visibly deflated at the fact that I had been paying a small amount of attention. I sat down and wiped the sweat that was forming on my brow and let out a breath I hadn’t known I was holding. Nothing interesting happened the rest of class. As we made our way to “combat training” (or gym as the student body dubbed the class) Paul came running up and slapped me on the back. “Nice save” he said trying not to look like he was breathing hard. “Increased dexterity and endurance my arse” Jesus said from my left. Paul grumbled something unintelligible as we made our way to combat training, I heard a laugh ring out above the crowd as Will zoomed by kicking up a trail of dust with an enraged Anthony chasing after him. Anthony’s normally straight shoulder length hair was braided into pig tails, I was trying my hardest to breath in between laughing fits. Will and Anthony were standing in the gym with a teacher scolding them about running in the gym as Jesus, Paul, and I entered. Anthony’s hair still had the tell, tell signs of being braided. I was almost overcome with laughter again. As we made our way to the locker-room we were joined by a fuming Anthony and a chuckling Will. “Aw I thought you looked nice in pigtails” Jesus said laughing before receiving a slug in the shoulder from Anthony and another burst of laughter from Will. I rolled my eyes and walked into the locker-room to change, I unbuttoned my shirt before slipping into a comfortable (if not loose) t-shirt. I took off my jeans and put on some gym shorts, I left the locker-room and saw people milling around in the fighting circles that were painted on the ground. My friends came to join me, or, came to join Jesus would be more accurate I guess. Only instead of just the guys, Patricia (or Patty for short), Anthony’s girlfriend, was with us too. I made my way to the bleachers as the combat instructors started talking.  Something about what we were going to do today, blah, blah.. fighting.. blah, blah.. technique.. blah, blah.. magic. Wait magic, they never let us use magic . I thought to myself. I looked over at my friends who mirrored the same face I was probably making. All but Anthony who looked like he had won the lottery; which was more or less true considering that not only could he fight but he was a magical prodigy. Then it hit me why they were doing this. The teachers had told us about a tournament they were hosting and how they had a special way to pick participants. “Okay, today we’ll be doing a tournament style practice considering we have a much longer session today” our male instructor told us. Thats right, non-advanced classes are testing today I thought with a smile, they had planned all this to the last detail. A bracket was magically projected onto the wall in front of us. I let out a sigh as I saw that I was facing Sarah a capital B while also a daywalker (a vampire that can walk around in the daylight, basically really strong and fast). She had a very predictable fighting style, choosing to use one of the styles taught to us by the academy. I rolled my eyes, realizing that we were fighting first, and walked down the bleachers to the middle of the room. Where I got I started stretching,continuing to do so until Sarah finally made her way to the ring. She stretched a little before nodding to the referee. I stopped my stretching just before the ref blew the whistle, barely having time to dodge her first flurry of blows. Leading with her left, then right, left again, throwing an uppercut before I rolled away and got to my feet.Before I had a chance to think, I felt a fist connect with my ribs. I hissed in pain and shot my right arm out landing a solid punch to Sarah’s face. She staggered back and let out a growl, then jumped at me. I did the only thing that came to mind, squaring up and punching as hard as I could…  but my punch went through nothing. I stumbled and felt a fist connect with the small of my back, sending me sprawling forward. I went head over heals and came up on my feet, spinning to face Sarah at the same time. We can use magic I thought to myself. Internally groaning at the fact that I had forgotten the most important thing the teachers told us. My guess is that she use some sort of light refraction spell to create a double of herself, tricking me into thinking she was lunging at me. While in reality, she simply lunged behind me. Pretty good , but I’m better I thought with a smirk. I drew a line in the air with my pointer and middle finger then grabbed the short staff that appeared. Luckily I managed to raise the staff and block Sarah’s jab. Holding my staff vertically, I brought the bottom end up and clipped her under the chin. She took a step backwards and said something in a garbled tone- probably cursing like a sailor- and rushed me. Only much more cautious this time, dodging my staff and was behind me in an instant; only this time I was ready. I gripped the end of my staff with both hands and did a full one-eighty swinging my staff and knocking her in the ribs. she landed and rolled to dampen the impact. By this time we were both breathing pretty hard. All of a sudden, I felt a searing pain in my ribs and saw Sarah under my guard with her fist on my chest. I let my staff slide down and held it from the middle, slamming it down on her back with all the force I could muster. There was an audible crack and Sarah cried out in pain. She was on the ground in a matter of seconds. I rested my staff on the ground and leaned on it. The ref blew his whistle signaling the end of the match. Clapping rang through the gym as everyone cheered at my success (or Sarah’s failure, as they are one in the same). The teachers rushed to check on Sarah and one of them had to take her to the nurse’s office. “Here, go to the nurses office as well, you look pretty banged up,” he said offhandedly, handing me a pass. I nodded silently and slowly made my way.I was directed there, having used my staff for support. I knocked on the door and heard a voice say, “Come in.” I walked in and saw Mrs. Murdock- a lady in her mid-thirties with black hair- sitting at her desk. When she saw it was me she smiled and shook her head slightly, seeing as I was a frequent visitor -mainly due to magical exhaustion- and ushered me to a seat. “What seems to be the problem Aiden?” she asked, addressing me by my first name instead of my last like everyone else. “Well I think I may have broken a rib,” I said as nonchalantly as could having to endure the pain in my chest. She raised an eyebrow but said nothing. She walked over and felt my ribs through my shirt. “Yep you broke the third and fourth rib on the left side of your chest,” she signed, delivering her diagnosis. I let out a sigh and winced at the pain. She rolled her eyes and said, “quit being a baby, I can fix that in a matter of seconds.” I nodded as her hands were enveloped with a warm yellow light. She placed her hands on my broken ribs and I let out a sigh as the pain was relieved. She wrote me a pass back to class and I left with a thank you and a goodbye. I dismissed my staff and made my way back to class. As I walked in I heard a resounding boom and saw Anthony walk away from his fight unscathed with the biggest smirk I had ever seen. Applause erupted from the bleachers as medics rushed to the ring to patch up the poor sucker who had to fight him. I went and sat with my friends all of which gave Anthony a congratulatory pat on the back. When I sat down Anthony looked at me quizzically. “Conjured staff, seriously?” He asked with an arched eyebrow. I nodded and winced as I heard a scream and smelled burnt hair. I looked over to see Jesus walking over with a smug smile on his face. RIIIIIIIIING! Every person in the gym stood up as one and rushed to the locker room. Now when I say free for all, I mean it. If you tripped you may well get trampled. I sighed as I shoved through the crowd and made my way into the locker room. I quickly changed, grabbed my stuff, and left. I shouldered my way through the throngs of people in the hallway and walk to my next -and favorite- class… lunch.  Chapter 2   “ SPLAT!"  I looked up from my tray to see Chad sprawled on the floor with his food splattered all over his shirt. I look over to see Ralph snickering with his henchmen. Chad stood up and tried to walk away when a clone of Ralph suddenly appeared in front of him. The clone raised its fist to hit Chad when a blur made its way in front of the real Ralph. “Lay off him Ralph,” I heard Will’s voice sound out loud and confident through the lunch room. “Oh yeah, what’re ya gonna do about it, Willy” Ralph retorted, poking Will in the chest. “I’ll start with breaking that finger off and shoving it so far up-” “Guys, guys, guys,” Jesus started, “stop before this gets out of hand”. “Why don’t you bud out and go make some wine,” Ralph said giving Jesus a hard shove. “You know it’s not pronounced that way”, Jesus growled recovering quickly. I rolled my eyes before standing. I turned to make my way over there when suddenly a voice rang out. “ATTENTION!!!” As one every student in the cafeteria stopped what they were doing and stood, saluting as they did so. “Can anyone tell me what is going on here”, the man said addressing the room. “Hmm, no one, I find that hard to believe”, he said sweeping his gaze across the mass of people before his eyes locked onto me. “Mr. LeRoy, would you kindly tell me what is going on here”, he said beckoning me forward. I made my way to his side before telling him what happened, “Ralph pushed Chad over, and as Chad tried to walk away he put a clone of himself in front of Chad-” “Enough” he barked “I get the picture” Mr. Saunders said. “Ralph come with me to my office” Mr. Saunders said beckoning to Ralph. “But Mr. Saun-” Ralph tried to say before Mr. Saunders cut cut him off. “But nothing Ralph my office, NOW” Mr. Saunders said turning on his heel and walking out the door to the lunch room, Ralph following close behind. I made my way to my next class after the lunch incident when Will appeared in front of me. “And where were you” he said pointing an accusing finger at me. “I was going to jump in if you guys needed help but you had it covered” I replied walking around him. “You’re like eight feet tall-”. “Six two” I said cutting him off mid sentence. “Whatever, what I’m saying is you’re tall and we could’ve used you as intimidation” he said as if he was presenting the facts in a court case. “Yeah, I can see why” I said chuckling. “Ya know what LeRoy, screw you” he said speeding down the hall. “I don’t swing that way!” I called down the hall after him. I cursed as I looked at one of the clocks down the hallway and ran the rest of the way to my history class, I made it just before my teacher shut the door. I slid into the only seat available which just so happened to be at the very front of the room. “Alright class today we’ll be covering the human and dragon war-” That’s all he got out before the sound of crashes echoed from outside. A voice came over the intercom “This is not a drill, I repeat this is not a drill everyone to battle stations we are under attack”. We sat there dumb struck before our history teacher snapped us out of it. “YOU HEARD THE MAN GET A MOVE ON” he practically roared at us. I moved first getting up and running out of the classroom and into the throng of people in the hallway, I took a left and ran down the halls the quarters for the janitors were on. This took me to the front door, I exited the school and was surprised to see chimeras. Not the ones that were lion, snake, and goat which were the rarest no these were artificial ones created by magic, many of them walking on two legs. I pivoted on my right foot and jumped back which allowed me to narrowly avoid a swing from one of them. I summoned my short staff and raised it to block the incoming blow. I braced myself and was surprised when nothing hit, I smelled burning flesh and hair and looked up to see a charred chimera turn its attention to Jesus as he stood there with his hands burning. As the chimera was about to charge I returned the favor by hitting the chimera in the back of the knees dropping it to the ground. “I’ve got this one” Jesus said running over to the fallen beast. I nodded at him before turning to charge into the fray only to be knocked aside as another one of the beasts backhanded me away. I rolled several feet on the ground before rising to my feet and rolling to the right to avoid another’s charge at me, I got to my feet as the beast stood over me. I jabbed my staff into the things throat, its gorilla face contorted in pain as it felt its throat being crushed. This isn’t working I thought to myself I don’t have any reach with this thing I thought as I brought up my staff up blocking yet another clumsy swing. I got an idea and pressed one of the ends of my staff into the beast’s stomach and willed it to extend, the staff grew at an alarming rate almost doubling in size - it went from half as tall as me to a few inches over my head- and throwing the creature backwards. “Nice power pole Goku” Jesus said running away from yet another chimera. Only to turn around and blast it with a face full of fire. He rolled to the right and ran away in the direction he came from. I ducked a swing from one of the lumbering beasts and turned around using the staff to sweep it’s legs out from under it. I felt the ground start to shake and I heard a deafening roar from the direction of the school. "ALL STUDENTS AND FACULTY BACK INTO THE BUILDING" I heard our principal yell with a magically enchanced voice. I turned to the building and started to run only for a hand to reach up and grab my right ankle, it was the chimera I had just toppled. I started lashing out with the foot that wasn't in the beast's grasp,  crap I thought to myself  it's too tough to damage without a weapon and my staff won't be any help....craaap I need a sword. An arrow whizzed past me and lodged in the things eye, that was all I needed. I was out of it's grasp and sprinting full speed to the front door. As soon as I entered the building and closed the door a jet of fire hit the courtyard and torched some of the beasts.  "Heh and you said old smokey wasn't up to the task" Talion- our resident teacher of magical creatures- bragged. "I didn't think he was" I heard the principal admit."His scales are starting to lose their luster around his snout" "That doesn't mean anything-"And that was all I played attention to. Smokey as you probably know is our school's dragon our "guardian"  more like fatas-   "Yo LeRoy, good work out there" I heard Jesus say as he bounded up behind me with a huge grin on his face.  "You too man" I said clapping him on the back. "Alright kids good job, we're now doing a school wide roll call" said Mr.Saunders pulling out a gigantic roll of parchment. There were several hundred goans as we'd have to be here for a few hours at least, even the freshman and sophomores have to have roll call even though all they did was hunker down in their dorms. As name, after name, after name, was called I sat on the ground in the courtyard against a wall. I heard my name and get called and I yell as loudly as I could "I'M HERE GODS ABOVE I AM HERE", this elictied quite a few chuckles from the people around me.  The beauty of getting your name called was that once you reported in you could go back to your dorm or the gym and pretty much do whatever you want, I quickly hopped up and walked with a brisk pace to my dorm. As I was walking through the halls I saw a confused man walking through the hall "hey can I help you with anything" I asked the man. He brightened and said "yes actually can you tell me where the principal is"  "He's in the courtyard" I said and gave him directions, thinking he must be a parent that got confused by the protection and scanning charms that surroundd the front office. He said a quick word of thanks, and walked with a brisk pace to the courtyard. I got a quick shower and went into my dorm and laid on my bed, luckily I didn't have a roommate so I could pretty much put my stuff where I want. There was a screen being projected from a crystal on my desk, I saw the principal roll up the giant uhh name scroll? Ugh whatever the thing he calls names off of, he rolled it up and the stranger walked up behind him.  "Can I help you" I heard the principal say, his voice being projected through the crystal. The man showed an amazingly big and bright smile "Yes" he said "you can all burn".  The principal looked as though he wanted to shout something but the stranger beat him to it, the man burst into flames no burst isn't the word the man  exploded,  incinerating the principal on the spot and I saw several magical shields being erected. I felt the entire building shake and I knew many people were dead or horribly maimed, I heard stomping and yelling but it wasn't from kids it sounded like an army a very hostile army. I started gathering the necessities, mainly snacks and food that didn't need to be refrigerated and looked frantically fro a place to put them, I dumped everything out of my bag and stuffed the food in. I got two more changes of clothes, my deodorant and back up deodorant and, I was gone. I broke my window open and dropped down onto the lege under it and held myself against the side of the building and kept quiet. I heard them bust into my room and look for me tossing everythin, I heard a distinctly loud thump which must have been them flipping my bed over. A man only a few years older than me noticed the broken window, he  poked his head out of it surveying the situation. He started looking my way and my breath caught, his eyes locked onto mine and he held a finger to his lips and went back into the room. I heard someone shout "There's no one here, move out search every room, every closet EVERYTHING" I let out a sigh of relief and waited, I heard the sound of boots shuffling out of my room. I waited for about five minutes to make sure they were gone and I climbed back in the winow. I moved silently and swiftly haveing to hide several times, I made it to the side doors and out into the courtyard and gagged as the scent of burning bodies hit me I felt tears welling up in my eyes threatening to spill over. Everything I had known and loved was here, my parents had dumped me at the earliest opportunity and abandoned me never writing and honestly I didn't want to hear from anyone that horrible. I blinked the tears out of my eyes and moved forward cautiously, not looking down for fear I wouldn't able to stop the tears that what I saw would bring. I was almost to the end of the courtyard when people surrounded me from all sides, there were about five men and women only a few years older than me.  "Come with us and we'll see to it that your end is swift" said a man that was obviously the leader. I clenched my fist, if I was going to die I was going to die fighting. I opened my hand which was still at about waist level and pored all of my willpower into this one thing, I needed something that could kill  no I  wanted something that could kill. They were going to pay every single one of them  I thought to myself, I needed something stong, something exquisite, and I poured everhting into this one object, all my fear, sadness, my anger no my  rage . These thoughts took place in the space of a split second and in that second something appeard in my hand and I grasped it, bringing it up to block the incoming side strike from the leaders sword as I did that I saw that I was holding a black scimitar with a silver moon emblazoned on both sides of the blade. I gave a maniacal grin and knocked his blade aside and pressed forward, I was inside the man's guard in a second and quickly pressed my advantage only to be stopped by one of his compatriots. I was once again boxed in when a ball purple ball of pure arcane energy smahsed into the group disintergrating two of my foes, Anthony was suddenly at my back blocking an incoming stab that was aimed at me while i was distacted. He caught my eye and winked making a blade of pure magic, I ran my sword through the stomach of the man charging me before he could react to the pain I extracted my sword from his gut and quickly severed his head. I pivoted on the ball of my foot and block the overhead swing of an axe from a burly woman by holding my sword horizontally, I pushed back up against her and kicked her in the stomach before sidestepping another sword thrust, after sidestepping the thrust the man's sword pierced his comrades heart killing her. I was going for a swing at the man who killed his ally when I felt a burning pain in my right shoulder, I looked down and saw the end of a blae poking out. I felt and slide out of the wound and cried out in pain, I staggered and clutched the wound I had just a second to recover before rolling to get out of the way. "Get out of here Aiden!!" Anthony shouted at me "I've got this!"  I nodded whispering a word of thanks befor shooting off across the courtyard, my adenaline temporarily making me forget my injury I made it to the edge of the forest and hesitated a split second before plunging into the green depths.         Text: me Images: me Editing: me Translation: MEH All rights reserved. Publication Date: September 26th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-fzee55819785a45

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-alada-porter-four-letters-or-less/

Alada Porter Four Letters Or Less Letter # 1 Dear Mia, I know you don’t miss me; I’d like to say that that isn’t a big deal, but it is. I miss you. I miss you more than I can bear. I can shut my eyes, but the echo of your face, of your lips, of your eyes, of your hair, the echo of all of you is so loud that I just can’t seem to ever make it into REM. I feel so lost Mia, what can I do? How can I move and work and feel the way I had in the past when all my hand can do is pine for your hand, when all my lips can say is your name? I read your note even now, over and over and over. I know it’s only one line, but I feel like it says all that I need to know about how to win you back. In that line is the clue to what you want, to what you need, and I feel like if I look at it for a real long time I can see it. I can see what you saw when you left me. Did you love me Mia? And can you love me now? If I say that I did not mean to give you any less than all of my love, then will you come back to me? What can I do Mia? What can I say? I miss you more than I can bear. Love, Tom Letter # 2 Tom, Why do you do this to me? It’s been a year now, and yet when I read a note from you, I feel as if I had only just left. Why does this have to be so damn hard? I just want to move on, to move away from you and the echo of you that is sent back to me each time I see a note from you in my mail. I can’t heal, I can’t let go and I don’t know what to do. You say you want me back, but do you even know what it felt like to be with me? I don’t get it, I don’t know what you see now that you did not see then, but it’s too late. You had me, and you gave me up. I don’t want your note, I don’t want your pain, and most of all I don’t want your love. I want to let you slip from my mind, I want the cut to heal, I want my eyes to dry up so that I can move on and find a new love. A love that will love me more than I can bear when I am next to him, not as soon as I run away. You don’t know what love is, and if you go on as you have been, I don’t know that you ever will. -Mia Letter # 3 Dear Mia, Do you hate me that much? Was it so hard to love me? I have not been the best to you, I know that now, but was pain all I ever gave you? Damn it Mia! I did my best! I gave you all I could! I can be cold, and I am not kind all of the time. But if I ever went too far I took a step back, I made it up to you the best way I knew how. Did I not ask you to be my wife? Does that not show my love? What is it that I did not do? I am only a man Mia! I slip up! What more can I say but that I need you, that I want you. Come back to me, lay in my bed, hold my hand, kiss my lips as you had in the past. Be my wife me Mia. Don’t run from me, I will keep you safe; I will not lie to you. Love, Tom Letter # 4 Tom, I don’t know why I read what you send me; all I end up with is wet eyes and a head full of fog. You make me feel like a fool, like a liar, like the shit I felt was all in my head. But I am no liar Tom. You were cold and hard in ways that can’t be paid off with a ring or a date or a kind word. The hurt is too long and too deep for us to go back in time now, we can only move on from here. I can see that you are not the one for me and I am not the one for you, even if you can’t. I will not deal with this one more day, I will not hold onto you the way that you seem to hold onto me. I will burn any note you send me, I will not take any call, and if you show up at my door I will not see you. Get a new life Tom, find a new girl and show her the love you say you can show to me. I wish you all the best. -Mia Publication Date: April 20th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-mokomonko

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-ashton-q-thomas-the-psycho-father-and-the-seperated-twins/

Ashton Q. Thomas The Psycho Father and the Seperated Twins Mayliah's Story My father Jason Belk is a terrifying serial killer. He started his killings about five years ago. My name is Mayliah Zendaya Maria Belk, and I am sixteen years old. I live with my mother Teresa Jenkins. I have a sister and her name is Ayliah Janiece Marie Belk. She lives with my father. I have not seen my sister since I was two-years-old. Publication Date: December 23rd 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-newnew2116

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-silas-rhythm-and-control/

Silas Rhythm and Control To Uncle Jim, who had it rough with the girl he rescued! And whose story is written on these e-pages. Walking down the lonely road he had engraved in his memory since childhood, he remembered the soothing sounds of the cicadas and the bloated chirruping of frogs of the times when he wore enough clothing to cover his genitals. He kept the pace steady and straightened his back, tuning in with his senses he tries to make out what is ahead. He narrows his eyes and squints, trying to focus on the light ahead, his ears shoot up trying to absorb sufficient sound and he breathes steadily, trying to calm his nerves. He felt out of place and perplexed at the sudden tension he was feeling, he’d been walking this road for 22 years and never felt like this. He quickened his pace and with a sly smile he reassured himself that he was strong enough to take any bastard that might come up behind him. He kept walking for a couple more minutes until he found the treaded path to his house and entered it silently. Locking the doors he put his bag down and his camera too. He released a breath he didn’t know he was holding and went straight to the bathroom; he stripped and climbed in the shower. The cold water soothing his muscles and enveloping him in a cool embrace. He proceeded by scrubbing himself with soap and washing his hair with a strange shampoo he had picked up earlier in the week but hadn’t had time to use. The scent, strange to him made him jolt and open his eyes, to him the red liquid smelled delicious. He poured a small amount to his palm and put his tongue to it, it tasted sweet for a second until it turned bitter, he spat on the shower floor and continued to wash his hair. He got out of the shower and quickly grabbed for the towel, drying himself off first before he walked on the tiled floor, he put it back on the peg where it was before and walked to his room, feeling extremely comfortable in his nakedness and letting out a sigh of relief as he basked in privacy. He put on some underwear and tucked himself in a silk kimono that a Japanese ex-girlfriend had given him as a late birthday present 2 years ago. The cool silk touched his skin and clinged to the humidity of it. He walked back out to the kitchen and poured himself some lemonade he’d made in the morning when he’d been scouring the house for a few negatives of the “Pedro Vasquez Case” and gave up exhausted and went out to pluck a few lemons from the tree he had in his backyard. As he put the jar of lemonade back in the fridge he cursed himself as he saw a brown envelope on top of it, labeled in a red marker pen “PVC-NEGS”, how on earth could he miss that? He took the envelope and studied the negatives, a couple of mug shots and a few cadavers, nothing much. He walked to the armchair he’d left his bag on when he entered the house and put the envelope in it, ready for tomorrow. He then turned to observe the house and give it a 1-10 if it needed cleaning. He pressed his back against the front door and admired his habitat. The teak wood floors, left a small kitchen that faced the living room, with blue painted wood cabinets and a small cupboard filled with an impressive selection of liquor. The living room that focused around a large coffee table he had cut a round hole in the middle, to insert a flower plant that he thought was going to give “cheeriness” to the room looked well. An armchair that faced the kitchen to the left, his dumping ground as he called it was moderately messy as his bag, camera, jacket and random junk filled it. The rest of the sofas were white, unlike the red armchair, and all faced toward the flower plant, a riqui-riqui, or so the locals called it. The walls were painted blue, and the living room faced a massive window-slide sort of thing that gave a clear view of his backyard. Once he walked to it he slid the window panel and taking two footsteps he halted at the barrier the wooden balcony made. He checked his backyard, still and dark in the night, the banana trees he’d planted all swishing and swaying in the midnight breeze of the Caribbean, the white turtledoves perched on the same branch of the lemon tree, they never seemed to move, those 3 birds, he was never at home in the day so he only observed them at night, when they were sleeping peacefully as he glared at them in envy. He lay down on the hammock and swung himself lightly of the balcony with his left foot in the rhythm of the breeze. He opened his eyes to observe the turtledoves and realized he had closed them in the first place. As long as he swung himself and there was a breeze the mosquitoes couldn’t bother him, he closed his eyes, never ceasing to swing himself and relaxed. He thought about Julia, the new girl working at the reception desk, how she swung her hips as she walked through the office, or how she bit her voluptuous lips absent-mindedly through the day. How she once caught him watching her and blushed, trying hard not to smile. Whilst he looked down at the paperwork trying to make out that it was a fleeting glance. Julia, he thought. How good she would look lain naked on his bed, his white sheets surrounding her, covering her in a coy yet provocative way, yet still not covering her as they allowed her to show her skin shyly. His pulse gathered pace and he opened his eyes lustily, licking his lips as if savoring a meal to come. The breeze gained force and he stopped swinging, thinking that it was an unnecessary action. Julia, she’d only been there 2 weeks and he already found himself lusting after her, he wasn’t the only one to be truthful, bets had been made already, the men’s toilet full of laughter as one after another said “I bet you I’ll make her moan faster than any of you, she has blowjob lips, I’m telling you! Hahahaha!” Men could be such pigs sometimes, he was asked to join the bet and he replied swiftly that she wasn’t worth his money, because she had no economic value seeing as she was a human being after all, and flesh and pleasure could not be bought, and that to do so was plain cruelty. The laughter died down and they all changed the topic of conversation, blurred by an unanticipated response and guilt as they thought about the countless times they’d been to whorehouses and the faces of the prostitutes plastered with disgust and vulnerability as they pummeled into them for a 5 minute shag. Their macho egos too big to realize that she wasn’t a lower creature, she had the same worth and status as them on the human level, and it wasn’t going to change just because she had breasts and lacked a penis. He dozed for half hour until he heard a whimper; he sat up in the hammock and acquired a small numbing headache due to the rash action of sitting up so quickly. He heard some heavy breathing and suddenly felt vulnerable standing there feeling like an idiot with a kimono on. In his head the person nearby was probably thinking that he was gay as hell. He got inside the house and closed the window panels. He went straight to his room and looked for a flashlight and resistant clothing, anticipating a long night ahead. He put on a white t-shirt and a strong pair of kakis, he then put on a thick linen shirt and buttoned it quickly, sensing the Caribbean breeze getting cooler by the minute. He put on thick socks and his boots in 2 minutes stat, faster than he thought possible and headed out into his backyard through a door that connected his bedroom to an alcove that had a door giving entrance to his backyard. He adjusted his eyes to the dark and walked forward slowly, hearing another whimper he tried to follow its direction. Some leaves rustled in the distance and a sigh was let out. He quickly ruled out the possibility of it being a wounded dog and concluded that it was human, whatever the thing out here was, threatening to ruin his calm night. He put the flashlight back in his back pocket and used the light of the bright full moon instead to go by. A sharp intake of breath was made in the darkness to his left and he followed the sound, feeling lured. He then thought if the human was playing a real bad joke or if it was really a dog. Eyes glinted in the dark and he slowed his step, making shushing sounds, thinking that if it really was a dog then he better be careful. The eyes seemed to follow him readily and wider as he approached, it shuffled and whimpered trying to get away, when he was about 2 meters close to the thing he made out the silhouette of a person, he smelt blood and corroborated that the wounded animal he sought out to find was in fact a wounded person. He kept making shushing sounds and walked up to it, he produced the flashlight and shone it on the person to reveal a pregnant woman, naked for a loincloth and tribal patterns sketched on her skin. She was covering her face in fear with one hand another wrapped protectively across her womb. “Jesus!” He exclaimed and caught up his breath. He walked up towards her and closed the remaining distance, she tried shuffling away and caught herself in the barbwire fence that surrounded his whole backyard; she grimaced and let out a snarl. Her arm oozing with blood, and he guessed that her back was cut too. He went straight to her and kneeled by her side, he stayed silent and observant, showing her that he wasn’t dangerous. She stayed tense but stopped trying to run away, her back was against the wall, she knew that, she was tired, hungry, in pain, wounded and defenseless, worst of all she tribe less and pregnant. He took off his shirt and she thought he was going to lay her, she felt disgusted that he could even do such a thing, seeing as she was wounded and pregnant, ‘man did not care if woman stumbled, they would always take pleasure in them even if they did not consent’, her thoughts echoed in her mind as tears streamed down her face, she couldn’t care anymore. She might as well be quiet and let him have his way, that way; she would not feel as much pain as she would if she struggled. She closed her eyes and awaited the abuse, cornered and vulnerable. She opened her eyes sharply as she felt his shirt land on her and cover her gently, kept making shushing sounds trying to calm her and she felt relief as she saw no immediate threat. He took her arm and she gave up hope of fighting, seeing as his gentle pull dominated her completely, she realized she was very weak. He picked her up and she showed no protest, her head hitting hard against his chest and her long hair tangled in his arms. He tried very carefully to keep the shirt on the stranger and feeling pity for the girl, as he soon realized when he had observed her more carefully, he brushed her hair away and proceeded to take up her legs in a gentle manner, observing the deep cut in her thigh. He went straight to the bathroom instead of the room to get her wounds cleaned up quickly, he was afraid for her life. She had her eyes closed and grimaced when she felt herself lowered on a cold surface, never seeing anything like it before. He turned on the taps, and warm water hit her body, slowly vanishing the dirt that clung to her skin and slowly stinging the cuts she had all over her body. He washed her gently with a cloth and some soap and was careful around the cuts and “private” areas, not wanting to scare her or make her feel threatened, yet feeling like a child for blushing as she looked up at him when he was padding the dirt away on her left inner thigh. He looked at her and grabbed her hand; he put the cloth he’d been using to clean her and put it in hers, and mimicked the action in the air with his now free hand trying to tell her that she could clean herself. She nodded and proceeded where he was cleaning before, she did it with confidence. He found himself observing and slowly stood up to get out, thinking that what on earth was wrong with him watching a pregnant girl bathe nakedly in front of him. He looked in the fridge to see if there was any food he could prepare for the girl, and settled on minced meat with fried plantains and rice. Typical Caribbean food, she was bound to like it. He got started in the kitchen and half hour later the food was ready and steaming, plantains took 10 minutes to fry and deserved constant attention. Which was the exact amount of time rice needed to be left alone, and in 20 minutes the minced meat could be cooked. He sighed, he was tired, he was shocked, and he was numb. How did his night end up like this? Tomorrow was the only day he would be off for another week, and he got into this mess whilst trying to seek solace by fantasizing over Julia’s cup size. He went to the first aid cabinet he had in the alcove and took the whole case with him, antibiotics, bandages, and medical alcohol, everything that could help him cure the girl. He set it on his bed and looked for a towel that she could use to dry herself up when she was finished. He stole a glance in to the bathroom to watch her trying to clean her hair, he sighed and took the towel with him as he made his way to where she was. She looked startled to see him again; she was enjoying the kindness she was being displayed knowing that this was not going to last long. She’d cleaned herself up and her cuts and wounds were stinging. She’d never experienced the feel of warm water until now. And she’d never been inside such a strange place, with water coming out of walls. She was trying to clean her hair with the cloth but it wasn’t working out. She held her breath as he lowered himself on the floor again and turned her so she was facing the wall and giving her back to him, he grabbed something that spurted out a red liquid and put it on her hair, it smelt so good that her mouth was melting, her stomach gave a growl in response and he laughed. She stiffened as she acknowledged the sound of his voice and his keen hearing. This explained how he’d been able to find her among the trees in such a breezy and dark night, even though she was trying to be extremely careful. He was scrubbing her hair with the liquid, which reminded her of the times when her mother would sit with her by the river and wash her hair with the liquid of the yucca root, as they both sat carelessly and without shame in the boulders and large rocks completely naked. The birds chirping and the monkeys passing by, her mother looked up and pointed out “We have to tell the men that there’s good game here.” The memory of monkey meat made her stomach growl in response again. He touched the wall again and stopped the water coming out. He then wrapped her in some sort of warm cloth and started drying her and her hair. He then picked her out, wrapped her in the cloth and took her to a bed. She was stiff with surprise at how gentle he was being. She couldn’t protest as she was too weak to even walk. As he lowered the girl into the bed he felt her tense up and thought nothing of it, he then turned her on her back and started going over her wounds, her belly wasn’t that big to make her lie on her front be such an impediment. He then covered her buttocks as he felt that they were too exposed and that if he was in her position he’d feel vulnerable. He cleaned the wounds of the barb wire fence and by the time he was finished with her back and arm she was covered with at least 15 plasters, seeing as they were only cuts, not big but still there nonetheless he saw it would be a waste of bandage. Even though her back looked messy with all the plasters he could not help but noticing the bronze tone her skin had. He then turned her on her front and got working with the deep cut on her right thigh, he cleaned it, making her wince a couple of times and bandaged her, he made sure to cover her before he could proceed, as uncomfortable as she was comfortable, in her nakedness. Her eyes never left his face and he could feel himself blushing as she did so. He made a mental note to comb her long hair that was in wet disarray ruining the covers of his pillows. He finished the bandaging and sat her up, he then went to the kitchen, served the food that he’d made earlier and took it to her, picking a hairbrush along the way. She saw him enter the room again and widened her eyes at the appetizing smell of meat. He sat beside her in the bed and fed her with a spoon, she was losing patience with being fed so slowly but bit her lip when she realized that all he’d done was show his kindness and hadn’t even talked to her to demand where she was from or what had happened to her tribe before making a decision of helping her, and that he hadn’t abused her either. She continued eating and finished the bowl quickly, he looked at her in surprise, and went back to the kitchen to get a second serving, and this time when she looked up he had thrust the object in her hand so she could eat by herself, she smiled in return and his eyes softened. As she was eating he grabbed another strange object and started brushing her hair, she could feel it becoming smooth and tame beneath his touch and then tied it up so it was above her neck in a loose bun, and she had never felt her hair off her neck since she could remember. She finished her dinner and opened her mouth to ease the thirst; strangely he caught on and took the bowl back to the kitchen, coming back with some water. She took it out of his hand gently, as to not look ungrateful and drank. He smiled and frowned. She stopped to see if she had something wrong and he moved away. Coming back to the room with more cloth, he lifted her arms and slowly put on her a t-shirt, he then made her stand up, something she was finding very difficult with her wounded thigh and put on her a pair of sweatpants a girlfriend of his had left a long time ago, it being 3 months when he told her to get out of his house when he found out she was cheating on him. She looked up at him, unused to too much clothing and stifled a warm breath. With clothes on she looked about 17 years old, her hair now in a bun she looked like any other girl in this town, though more feral than anything, she still had this free animalistic vibe to her every movement, she was probably a pureblood Indian and he would have problems if she didn’t heal quickly or if her tribe came knocking on his door. He realized the extent of his problem and saw the long term consequences ahead. Tomorrow he would call a doctor to get a diagnosis of her health. She sat back on the bed and he saw that it couldn’t be helped; tonight he was going to sleep in the living room. He woke up to the sound of birds chirping and insect calls. He went straight to the bathroom and brushed his teeth, cleaning himself up and the bathroom too, he picked up the stinking loincloth the girl had took off when she saw the water, and the clothes he’d stripped as soon as he came home, he went to his bedroom to put on a shirt and not finding one he put on his kimono. He put every dirty thing he could find in the washing machine, including the loincloth, which he found quite pointless and proceeded to making breakfast, fruit salad, with the remaining of the lemonade and a ham and cheese toasted sandwich. He thought this breakfast was pretty good. He then went back to the bedroom and caught a peek at the girl who was sleeping in the fetus position and her smooth, jet black hair covering half of her small, tender face, from what he could make out, she was at least 6 months pregnant, and if not on her 7th yet her womb was still small. This was going to be hell. He quickly rang the doctor and woke up the girl and fed her, he combed her hair once more as his nerves crept up on him. She looked at him stupefied and he stopped, putting her hair in a loose bun and leaving the room perplexed, unable to find a suitable justification of why he was combing her hair like she was some sort of doll. He sat on the hammock again leaving her to socialize more with his bed covers until the doctor came, he didn’t want to invade her space, even though she was the one who had entered his territory. He sighed uncontrollably until she came; walking slowly to him because of her wounded leg, and tugged on his shirt. He fell of his hammock and stubbed his toe on the balcony, she looked at him terrified and he threw his hands up as if to clarify the situation and show her that he was ok, she then let out a laugh and covered her mouth quickly, fearing a blow to reprimand her behavior, but all he did was laugh as well. She looked up at him and found herself submerging her gaze into his amber eyes, she couldn’t believe her luck. Not only was he such a gentle healer, he was also a good looking one too. *Unfinished work* Please comment and give me your overview of the story. Thanks! Text: All photographs owned by me. All rights reserved. Publication Date: February 19th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-silasandsheba

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-nicole-steele-little-liar/

Nicole Steele Little Liar Chapter 1 Meeting Again “Why are you late Ms. Halliwell?” Miss Beckon asked. I thought really hard for an answer she hasn’t heard yet, “I…I...was getting my homework out my locker, but it was jammed,” That should cover me for not having my homework and for being late, I thought. She nodded and I went to my seat. During class my best friend Prue passed me a note asking me why was I late this time. I wrote back that I would tell her later. After that class was really boring, like always. When class was over, I met with Prue at my locker, “So?” she looked at me with curious eyes, like always when she wants to know about anything. “I was with Seth again” I replied with a sigh. “Wow,” she said while I was getting my things, “does he ever get tired of you? I know I do,” We started walking down the school steps and then a car came screeching to a halt on the curb. I stared with excitement. In the front of the car was Seth, “What would two young, gorgeous ladies say to a ride home?” I stared at Prue, and she nodded, “We would love to get a ride,” We walked up to the car and he unlocked the doors. I sat in front while Prue sat in the back, “Who would like to get dropped off first?” he stared at both of us and then Prue answered, “I would like to,” Seth started the car and we drove out the school parking lot. The whole ride to Prue was silent. After we dropped off Prue, Seth stopped the car two blocks away from my house. “Why are you stopping,” I asked. He leaned towards me and kissed me gently on the lips, “You know why,” he said. When he leaned in for a much deeper kiss, my phone started to ring. “Hello,” I answered. “Hey sweetheart,” my mom said, “When will you be home?” “Um…” I motioned my hands to tell Seth to get to my house, “I’m like two blocks away from the house. Why?” “Oh, well someone’s here to see you.” she answered, and then added, “Well, I’ll talk to you more when you get home,” then she hung up. Seth turned onto my street then pulled into the driveway. I unbuckled my seat belt and got my book bag. When I put my hand on the car handle Seth held my chin and kissed me. It was nice, but not the same as the first time we kissed. When Seth let go of my chin and stopped kissing me I smiled then got out the car. As soon as I enter the house, I heard voices in the living room. “You two have grown up way too much,” I identified one of the voices as my moms, “You won’t believe what you see of her now,” The other voice (which was husky, so I knew it was a boy) replied to her comment, “Well, I hope it’s not a big difference. I also hope she acts the same,” My mom chuckled, “Oh no, she has changed drastically. She dresses and acts different,” When my mom said that, I entered the room, “Hey mom, whose this?” The boy in the chair stood up and I couldn’t believe who I was looking at. “Eeeeeep!” I screamed. I ran up to him and gave him a hug. He picked me up and spun me around. “I can’t believe you’re here,” I said with excitement when he put me down, “How long are you staying? Why are you back? Why didn’t you…” “Alex, stop with the questions, catch your breath,” he said with a chuckle. I closed my eyes and breathed in an out, and then opened them again. I still couldn’t believe I was looking at my best friend, Stefan. We were best friends since kindergarten. The first day we didn’t even notice each other, not even glances. Then, the next day we ended up trading our lunches. I don’t know how or why, we just started being friends. “So how you been?” I asked. “Good,” he replied, “What ‘bout you?” “I’ve been great. So, why are you here?” I asked. We both sat down on the couch. My mom went in the kitchen to make us some snacks, “I’m actually moving back,” he answered when my mom left the room, “and one of the reasons I came back was to see my best friend,” “Is there another reason?” I asked. I wanted to regret that question, but it was already out. I knew his second reason wouldn’t be any of my business, but I’m a curious person. And there probably isn’t a second reason. “Well…” he hesitated, (I knew I should’ve asked that question) “I can’t tell you that…..yet. But I will, just not now,” “K,” I replied, “So, where are you going to school at?” Another stupid question, why don’t I just put tape over my mouth and let him do all the talking. “I’m going to school at Eagle High. I heard it was a nice school with a high education standard,” he said. “Yeah it is. I go there; it’s a really good school. There’s always something goin’ on there. I love it and I think you will too,” I said, “You wanna go out back? It’s practically still the same,” He got up from the couch and replied, “Sure, why not,” We both walked out to the back patio. The sun was shining brighter than it did earlier, making the pool shimmer like there were tiny glass beads filled it to the rim, and to me that was a good sign. We sat down on the lounge chairs by the pool. “Where did you go when you left?” I asked. He turned to look at me, “If I knew you were gonna bury me in questions I wouldn’t have come here. But, if you must know, I went to Chicago. When I first got there I hated it, but that was ‘cause I didn’t know it, but after staying there a while I kinda enjoyed it,” “Awesome,” I said, “Did your parents ever tell you why they left?” He turned away from me, “They didn’t tell me until I was twelve. I didn’t understand or accept it ‘til I was fourteen, now I'm sixteen,” "I know how old you are, our birthdays are in the same month,” I got out my seat and sat next to him. “What was the reason? You don't have to tell me but.....I would really like to know," I asked. I need to ask my mom what she did with that tape. I waited a few seconds, but he didn't respond, "C'mon," I said nudging him in the side, "it can't be that bad, “He got up and walked over to the edge of the pool. I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut. I got up and walked slowly over toward him. "I don’t really want to talk about it right now. Has anything new or interesting happen in your life?" He asked turning around, almost bumping into me. "Not really," I said, "except.....well you really wouldn't care," "Actually, I kinda would care, “He replied, "You’re like a sister to me, you could tell me anything and I would totally care," I laughed at that, "I don't think brothers would care 'bout who their sister goes out with," "Well, I'm a different type of brother. Plus, I gotta pound some sense into the boy to make sure he doesn't break your heart, "He said pounding his fist into his hand. I laughed and punched him in the arm, "If you do that I wouldn't talk to you for the rest of the time that we know each other," He stepped closer to me and said with a devilish smile, "Really?" "Really," I replied crossing my arms over my chest. Then all of a sudden he scoped me up in his arms and held me hovering over the pool. "You wouldn't dare," I said. He smiled, "You wanna bet," I shook my head. "If you want to be dry and on land, you have to take back what you said," "Only," I replied, "If you take back what you said," He sighed, "Ok. If I take back what I said you'll take back what you said?" I nodded my head. Instead of taking it back he dropped me into the pool. I came up and saw him laughing. "Ha-ha, now can you help get out of the pool," I said. He extended his hand; I grabbed it and pulled him in. We stayed in there for a while, splashing each other, which is really weird because we were dressed in clothes. After a while we got out and dried off. "I should be going. Moms probably getting' tired since I left her with all the unpacking," He said. I made a frowning face and replied, “Stay a bit longer. We could watch a movie or something. Can't your dad help your mom?" He shook his head, " My dad's out looking' for a job and plus my mom is gettin' too old to be doing things all by herself," I sighed, "Your right, you should get back. But, I wanna go with you," He thought about me wanting to go and he made a funny thinking face, and then said, "Ok, but there is a lot of stuff to unpack and we kinda got a big house. And it might take...like the rest of the day," I shrugged. When I got home, my back was aching in pain and any time I tried to relax my shoulders it felt like an electric shock coursing through my entire body. I went upstairs -which I did with a groan in each step because I was running up and down stairs- to take a hot bubbling bath. I know what you're thinking, why would a teenager be taking a bath? Well, here’s the reason, I had a long day, so bug off! After my long, lovely bath I went through all the stuff on top of my dresser to look for my scrap book of me and Stefan. I always keep that scrap book in a special place, which is where I keep all special things. Or maybe it wasn't on my dresser, but in my desk. I went through all the drawers and checked everything that looked like a scrap book, even though I know what the scrap book looks like. Stefan and I decorated the book together when we were seven. We had divided it into four squares. I had one square, he had another and we decorated the third square together. We used the last square to glue the funniest picture we ever had. We had to make another scrap book because we both wanted a scrap book of our own. I couldn't find it on top of my dresser or in any of my desk drawers. The one place I have to check now is my closet. But I never go in there. Anything that I put in there never comes back out. Like lame costumes that my mom and dad pick out when they don't take me, but I don't have that probably anymore-thank god- because I don't trick or treat anymore. I opened up the closet and was shocked at what I saw: A huge pile in the middle of the floor. At the instant my eyes saw how enormous that pile was I knew it would be a long night. But instead of getting on my knees and digging through that fat pile, I closed the door and plopped down on my bed. For a few seconds I thought I would never fall asleep, but once I closed my eyes I was asleep. Chapter 2 Introducing Stefan..... And Someone Else "Hurry up and get out the bathroom, you little bugger!" I yelled. I started banging on the door with the side of my fist. My stupid brother locked himself in the bathroom trying to make himself look cool. Oh, I just realized, I didn't tell you about my little bugger, I mean brother. He is eleven and is really annoying. He so annoying he drove Lily crazy. I know, it’s ridiculous, but she got used to it just like I did. The only reason I didn't mention him yesterday is because he was with his friend the whole day. I don't even know why I call his friend a friend. He’s basically a second brother. He comes around all the time. His name is Jacob. My brother’s name is Jake. You should take this as a hint to why they're friends. Since my brother’s name is Jake and Jacob's nickname is Jake, they became best friends quickly. They even call themselves J and J. "Hey, my hair takes time. And you should give me that time," he said. I rolled my eyes. No matter how long he takes in the bathroom every morning, his hair still looks like he just rolled out of bed and did nothing to it. Speaking of time I'm going to be late if this little bugger of mine doesn't get out of the bathroom. "Whatever you little twit, I'm going to use mom’s bathroom," I said. I got to school right when the morning announcements came on. I met up with Prue at the computer lab. "Oh my gosh," she said, "the hottest guy just walked through our school doors and I got to watch," I looked at her in shock, "Really? Do you know his name? I wish I was there to see. Give me the details," She taped her chin with her finger for a while, "I only saw a little bit of him because I was talking to Katrina. Oh, that reminds me, she needs to borrow your blue stilettoes," "Uh, she’s not gettin her nasty feet in my precious stilettoes. Anyway, how do you know if he's hot or not if you only saw a bit of him," I said, "you can't say a guy's hot unless you see all of him," We started walking towards are first period. I swear she doesn't know hot even if it was in her own room or in front of her face. "Oh whatever," she said rolling her eyes, "you shouldn't be worrying about him anyway. You have a boyfriend, remember?" This time I rolled my eyes, "It’s not the same anymore. We used to have fun together. Now it’s like we're an old couple, we don't do anything anymore. Oh, by the way, my best friend is back," She stopped walking and stared at me with wide eyes, "Excuse me but I thought I'm your best friend?" "That's true we have been best friends for like......forever. But I've known this person since kindergarten," We were right at the chemistry labs door and the first bell started to ring. "Ok whatever, but just promise me you won't forget about me, Prue, the best’s friend since middle school," We walked in to the chemistry lab and we both froze at the same time. I froze because I saw Stefan. I don't know what she was stopping for, though. I turned to her, "That's the guy I was talking about, Prue. He's my other best friend," She didn't move an inch. I shook her a little and she still didn't do anything. So, I gave her a hard shove with my hip. "Your best friend is the hot guy. No way, you have to introduce me to him," she whispered. My eyes went big when I heard her say that he was the hot guy. "That's the hot guy that you were telling me about? Unbelievable, he is not hot. " "Maybe not to you 'cause he's your friend, I mean what kinda friend would call a friend hot. You have to get him to ask me out," she said, still hypnotized by Stefan’s so called “hotness”. She started walking over to the seat next him, but another girl slid right next to him. I walked over to him and leaned on the side of his desk. "Hey, Stefan," I said. He looked up from the book he was reading. “Hey, we have the same chemistry class,” he said. “Yeah, we do. I want you to meet my friend, Prue,” I said, pointing to Prue who apparently couldn’t stop smiling. She gave a shy wave and then looked down. Stefan was about to say something but Dr. Helen walked into the room. Dr. Helen was our chemistry teacher and she added a little bit more fun to chemistry. That was only because she usually showed what would happen if we put the wrong chemicals together, but only the ones that didn’t make a huge explosion. Today was different though, she made us sit through a boring video. She said it would “better our education”. To be honest I don’t even remember why I joined this stupid chemistry class. After the movie started, Prue and I started whispering. “So, are you gonna try to… you know… hook me up with Stefan?” She asked. I turned to look at her and almost laughed. “I’m not a match-maker and he just got here let him get to know you first,” I replied, “Why don’t you come hang out with us this afternoon. Where going to go to the beach,” At this she nodded with no hesitation. We didn’t talk for the rest of the period, but during that time I kept staring at Stefan. Thinking why would anyone would think he’s hot. I mean sure he’s got a muscular body and a face that when you look at you just want to frame. He was tan and had helmet hair that was the color of dirty blonde. Maybe he is hot? What am I talking about? I’m sitting here practically drooling over my closest friend. I wasn’t the only one though; the girl sitting next to him wasn’t even paying attention to the movie. I don’t blame her, I mean the video was out of the world boring, but it would’ve been better if she tried to hide how much she was staring. The movie ended shortly after that and so did the class. Most of the class was asleep, but Dr. Helen had a solution for that. Unfortunately I didn’t get the chance to know what that solution was but she told all of us that were awake to leave the classroom. I went looking for Stefan when class was over because he had left before I could talk to him. I couldn’t find him, but it doesn’t matter because we’re going to hang out later to catch up. Most of the school day was boring until there was fight in the hall between the transitions to the last period of the day. I didn’t really get to see it because a teacher that was monitoring the halls broke it up. I went straight to my class after that and was happy I did. In my last class was Stefan and there was an open seat right next to him. I walked hurriedly over to that seat because I know how many girls think he’s hot. I gave him a quick wave because class was about to start and he waved back. During class I started falling asleep; who wouldn’t, my last class was social studies. Stefan had to slap me on my arm a couple of times and then he would laugh. I was kind of embarrassed even though he was just my friend. Class ended a little bit quicker than I expected, but I don’t argue with time. I was happy to be getting out of school because I would be spending the day with my two best friends. Stefan and I were waiting outside waiting for Prue to come out of the school. Were about to leave when she showed up. We started walking down the row of cars and some empty slots. A car pulled up along the side of us; it was Seth –I knew it was him because of his car. I walked up to the side of the car and he rolled down the window. He looked over my shoulder, and then looked back at me. “Where are you going?” he asked. I looked behind me and told him, “Me and my friends are going to the beach. Do you wanna come? I could ask them if you could tag along” He looked over my shoulder again then asked, “Who’s the guy?” He eyed me suspiciously. “He’s just a friend,” I said with a sigh “How come I’ve never seen him around?” He asked “You have so many questions today. He just got back from Chicago and we were best friends for like ages. You have nothing to worry about and if you don’t believe me then come with us,” He shook his head, “No, I trust you,” He said, “I’ll talk to you later,” “K, bye,” I replied. He rolled up the window and I turned back to my friends who patiently stood there waiting from me. We kept walking down the aisle of cars, and then Stefan stopped us in front of a shiny red Rover. Both I and Prue’s jaw almost dropped to the ground. “Is this your car?” He nodded with a big smile on his face. I turned to him in dismal. “My parents want the best for me. And when I say the best, I mean the best,” He said. I playfully punched him the arm. “Ow!” He said rubbing the side of the arm. “This is so much better than my red bug,” I said with jealousy “Where and when did you get this sweet thing,” Prue asked checking the car out like she knows what she’s doing. “We could waste our time going over my car or we could get to the beach,” *** It took us a while to get there because Stefan didn’t know the way very well. We had to stop so Prue could drive. I didn’t want Prue driving because it makes me feel a little queasy, but as long as I’m going to the beach I’m happy. Finding a spot was easy because there weren’t a lot of people there at the moment. We settled everything down and went to go change into our bathing suits. When Prue and I went back to our spot Stefan was chatting with some girl. “Probably wants his phone number,” Prue whispered to me. I nodded my head in response. The girl didn’t leave though; she sat down and made herself comfortable. When Prue and I got close enough to see who it was, we both got tense. It was Amber Jones. We hated Amber ever since the day she told everyone that we were lesbians. Anytime people saw us hanging out together they would shout lesbian to us. Amber has a best friend too and they share everything together, yet they don’t call them lesbians? I wonder why. Amber and Stefan both turned around when they heard us approaching. “Hey,” Amber said. “Hi,” I replied. Prue just stood there looking around not saying anything. I don’t blame her for not doing anything though because Amber used to pick on her the most until we became best friends. I guess she saw me as a threat, which I should be. I nudged Prue in her side. She mouthed the word “Ow” to me. She waved at Amber with half a smile. “What brings you here, Amber?” Prue asked “Well, it is a beautiful day. I thought why not go to the beach. What brings you two here?” she asked “We’re just here hanging out with my friend Stefan,” I replied. Amber turned to Stefan, “I thought you didn’t know anybody,” “I don’t know anybody,” he said, “All I know is Alex,” “Oh,” she said. Lily and I sat down on our towels and Amber kept talking to Stefan. We were going to join in their conversation, but decided not to. “I’m going to get me a corndog. Do any of you want one?” Lily asked. “Sure,” I said. Stefan and Amber didn’t hear Lily, so I turned and ask them, “Do you want a corndog?” Since I interrupted their conversation, Amber gave me a mean look. “No, I don’t,” Amber said. “I’ll take one,” Stefan said Lily smiled and said, “Alright, I’ll be right back,” Stefan turned back to Amber and I heard him ask her, “Why didn’t you want a corndog?” “’Cause I’m a vegetarian,” she lied. I’ve seen her eat meat before, since when did she become a vegetarian? “Really,” I said, “I thought you ate meat,” They both turned to me. Amber had mouthed the word shut up when Stefan wasn’t paying attention. “I remember when we went on that camping trip, you had like three hot dogs,” I said “I did not,” she said with an edge of anger. “I’m pretty sure it was you, Amber,” I said. I knew she was getting mad but she didn’t make it obvious. She acted like she had got a text message. “I gotta go,” she said, “I’ll see you tomorrow Stefan,” “Bye,” Stefan said. She got up and walked away. When she started walking up the steps to the board walk she spotted Lily. I saw her say something to her and I knew she wasn’t just saying bye. Lily handed each of us our corndog when she came down. We both said thank you and ate them without saying a word. I was watching some dog dig a whole but only have the sand slip back in every time. I laughed in my head and thought ‘Silly dog’. It was then that I had realized that I had said those words out loud because Stefan and Prue were looking at me. I pointed at the dog still digging and said, “The dog keeps digging but the sand ends up back in the whole,” They stared at the dog for a while and then laughed. “Wow,” Prue said. Stefan was digging in his bag looking for something. I peered over his shoulder to see what he was pulling out. It was a camera and he was going to record what the dog was doing. While he was recording the dog Prue and I were rolling in the sand laughing. After I was done laughing, I lied on my back and looked at the sky. There were a few grey clouds in the sky but I knew that it wasn’t going to rain because the forecaster said it was going to be a sunny day. Those clouds were just passing through to go rain on someone else’s parade. I was just about to get up when I had felt something fall on the tip of my nose. I sat and touched it; it was wet. I looked up at the sky again and realized that the grey clouds were getting bigger. It looked as if sky would release the drops of water at any moment. “Guys I think we better leave like right now,” I said to Stefan and Prue who were deep in conversation about some topic that I could care less. Prue turned to me with a sad look on her face and asked, “Why?” I pointed to the sky. She looked up –and so did Stefan - and nodded in understanding. Stefan started packing up some of his things. “We should start out to the car before we get caught in the rain,” he said. Prue and I nodded and started getting up our things. We hurriedly went back to Stefan’s Rover after we got all of our things. It took us a while to get in the car. While Stefan was putting our things in the trunk, Prue and I were arguing who was going to sit in the front seat. “It wouldn’t be fair if you got to sit in the front seat two times,” Prue said “It doesn’t have to be fair. Come on Prue, it’s just a seat. It really doesn’t matter who sits in the front or back,” I was practically pleading with her to just sit in the back. She looked behind her and said in a hushed tone, “Come on you know why I want to sit in the front. Just let me sit in the front,” I thought about it, then sighed and said, “Fine,” Just then Stefan came around the car and asked, “You gals ready,” “Yea,” we said in unison. Prue hopped into the front seat happily while I sat in the back with a glum look on my face. After a while Stefan started laughing. Prue and I looked at him with a curious look. His full out laughter soon turned into a light chuckle when he noticed that we were staring at him, “ Publication Date: June 7th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-vampiregirl809

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-chalen-d-friday-the-thirteenth/

Chalen D. Friday The Thirteenth to makaylyn i love you girl. darker things lie ahead as soon as i walked in the front door at school my cousin, god i love her, can be a little crazy, grabbed my arm and shook me. "what are you doing?" i asked, taking out my head phones and pulling off my hood. she stood in front of me, so i had no choice but to stay put. "do you know what today is?" she asked. "the thirteenth." i said, rapping the head phones around my ipod. she put her hand on mine. "friday, Rose." she said. i pulled my hands away and continued to rap. "friday the thirteenth." she said. lightning flashed and thunder boomed. she looked outside, quickly "so?" i asked. she grabbed my arms and shook me again. "I'm freaking out, Rose, i am freaking out." she said. i looked her in the eyes. "release." i said. she let go of me, and pulled her bag onto her shoulder more. "i'm sorry," she said, as we started to walk to our lockers. "you know how i get on this day!" she said. "yeah, i do." i said. "what?" she asked. "nothing," i said, coming in veiw of our lockers. "look, Rose, last time i had to go to the hospital, and you stubbed your toe." she said. i stoped walking and looked at her. "jaymee, i always stub my toe." i said. it was true i could never walk strait. "Rose!" she said. i took off my jaket and opened my locker. "jay, your taking this down a dark road ok?" i said. "well, when you fall and eat shit, i'll say i told you so." she said. she whipped around and walked off. "come on jaymee!" i said. "no!" she said, walking around the courner. "hey, Rosie girl." "oh hey owen." i said. "oh hey, owen that's all i get?" he asked. "hey owen!" i said. "better." he said, opening his locker. "who's that?" he asked, as my phone rang. "my mom." i said. "ooh, speaker phone." he said, scooting closer. "hey, Ms. Kaller." he said. "hey owen. Rose, honey, my uncle died, and-" she said. "wait, how come i never heard about him?" i asked. owen rolled his eyes. "he disowned my family." she said. "oh well that's fucked." owen said. i put my finger to my mouth. "well, he gave me his house and-" she said. "wait, how the hell are you going to disown someone and then give them your house?" he asked. "that's fucked." i said. "anyway." she said, getting irratated that we kept cutting her off. "he gave me his house." she said. "and another thing!" jaymee said, coming back. "hey jaymee." owen said. "hey owen!" she said. "see." owen said, to me. "hello?" my mom asked. "oh hey aunt, haylie." she said. "hi, jayjay. he gave me his house, and we are moving there, it's a town away." she said. "That's fuacked!" jaymee said. "can jaymee come too?" i asked. "well." she said. "come on!" jaymee begged. "i can't leave with out her." I said. "alright fine. i'll talk to kris." my mom said. "cool, got to go." i said. "k i love you all." she said. "i love you too." we all said. the bell rang and i went to class. why disown someone and then give them your house? was he out of his mind or was he just ironic? the teacher talked about some war, and i fought to stay awake. "finally!" some one yelled, as the bell rang. "hey Rose." someone said. i looked to my left. "hey, kacey." i said, getting up. "so, how's it going?" he asked. "fine." i said, i smiled and went to my next class. "yeah, but cheak the-" owen was saying. jaymee slammed her bag on the table. "what the hell?" owen asked. " do you realize that, today, is bad luck, luce cut her slef in sicence and had to get stiches, gabe drank some rotten milk and dani fell and knocked out a tooth. i mean anyone of us could be next." she said. me and owen stared at her. "don't look at me like that!" she said. she took owens milk from his hand. "sure, help your self jaymee." he said. she checked the date and gave it back to him. she checked mine and then sat down. "you know for all we know this uncle could of gave aunt haylie the house to be ironic." she said. "she's on to something, i mean, why not give the house to kris?" he said. "oh please don't buy into her stuff." i said. "well you never know Rosie girl, what about luce and dani?" he said. "and gabe." jaymee added. "freak accsedent." i said. i ate a fry. "look it's just one day, i say we go home to the house and just, you know, get this obsesion of yours over with." i said. "it is not an obsesion." she said. "what ever, owen you in?" i asked. "hell yeahs!" he said. "it's a deal, and we can even get a scary movie or something." i said. "no scary movies." she said. "yes scary movies," owen said, tossing a jelly bean at her which she caught with her mouth. "ew, this tastes like sweaty balls." she said spitting them out. "sweaty balls or not, we're going to do this shit." i said, high fiving owen. "fine." jaymee said. the bell rang and we went to drama class. "dude i swear if anything else happens i'll like probably shit my pants or something." she said. owen backed up untill he was touching me. "oh come on." i said pushing him forward. "da-u-mn ms. kaller!" owen said, as my mom pulled up in a black car. "are you like rich now?" jaymee asked. "yeah, and so is Rosalie." she said. i took a deep breath, and tryed not to strangle her right there in the high school parking lot. "so can we go shopping?" owen asked. "what is it with you people, wanting to go shopping?" i asked. "it's fun." jaymee said. "and we can get a movie." owen added. "oh and i supose we're going to fly there?" i asked. "i got you a plum colored convertibel." my mom said. "to the mall!" jaymee said. "let's go to the mall you know you they have it all." owen sang. "we are so, going to the beach this weekend." owen said. "my uncle had a wife that gave me her beach house," my mom said. "see, we're going." jaymee said. "well i guess we need to go shopping cause, i need a bathing suit." i said. we got into my mom's car and went home. the house was huge. the house inside was nice, the furniture though looked like it was from the 1900's. "nice." i said, hitting a pillow. dust came up making owen sneez. "aw, your such a fucking cutie pie." jaymee said. my mom came in. "i know it's out of date, but im working on that, and by the way, we had to leave all clothes behind." she said. "now we get to do a make over!" owen said. "no make overs i'm dressing the same thank you." i said. after we shopped we went home. "damn your mom works fast." owen said. The house was redone, in three hours. they went through the house and i went into the kitchen to get a soda. after i chuged half i saw a door. i opened the door and looked down at a flight of stairs. i put my soda on the table, and grabed the flash light off of the counter. i turned it on and pointed it down the stairs which seemed to go on forver. i started down the stairs, when jaymee yelled. "whoa look at this!" she said. i rolled my eyes, and continued down. once on the floor i looked around wine celler. the door slamed shut, and i whiped around. i went up the stiars and tryed the door, locked. i called owen. "dude where you at?" he asked. "oh, you know i'm skydiving, no, i'm fucking locked in the wine celler." i said. "oh shit i'm coming!" he said. he opened the door. "see! you got trapped!" jaymee said. "calm your balls dude. where's my mom?" i asked. "gone on bussines." owen said. "ok." i said. "owen call for pizza cheese sticks and soda." i said. he pulled out his phone. "jaymee look for plates and and cups, i'm going to set up the movie." i said. once everything was set, i went up stairs. i picked a room with a large bay window, on the other side was french doors, that led to a balcony that was shared with jaymee and owen's room. and yes owen does have his own room. "pizza!" owen yelled, as the bell rang. i slid down the banistar as owen opened the door. i payed for the food and went into the living room. "let's get this party started yo!" i said. i opened the soda as jaymee came in with plates and cups. Once everything was served owen pushed play, and we all sat side by side. after the movie and food, we put on some music and danced. Untill we heard a crash in the wine celler. "what the shit that?" jaymee asked, pausing the music. "lets go see." i said, jumping over the sofa. "no way." jaymee said. "fine, stay here, but if i die it's on you." i said. owen came with me. "wait!" jaymee said. "you going to?" owen asked. "only cause i don't want to be left alone." she siad. "oh, ok, so, you'll go cause you don't want to be alone, but not to save me from my death?" i asked. "lovely, i love you to jaymee." i said. i opened the door, and kept the door open with a chiar. "wait i can't go down their." jaymee said. "why?" owen asked. "it's against my religon." she said. "fine stay here and keep the door open." i said. "lead the way Rose." she said. i turned on the flashlight, and went down. owen grabed my hand, not for fear, but from protectiveness. he grabed, jaymee's and we all headed down. "look, a wine bottle, just fell." i said. "but how?" owen asked. "the ghost." i said. "shh! don't say that!" jaymee said. "what was that?" owen asked. "the sound of a chair scooting on the floor." i said. we all ran up the stairs before we all got locked down there. sure enough, the chair was near the back door. "i'm gonna die!" she said. she sat on the floor, and breathed uneven. "owen get eher a bag." i said. i went to the chair and looked at it. i leaned in and saw a green slime. "what the hell?" i asked. "what?" owen asked coming to me. "what the hell?" he asked. "don't touch it!" jaymee said, coming to us. "well what is it?" owen asked. "i'm asking the same thing." i said. another bottle broke, and our heads snapped to the celler. jaymee screamed. owen covered his ears, and bent over. "what?" i asked, her. i liffted her head. "something touched me." she said. another bottle broke, and jaymme rapped her arms around me. "do you believe me now?" she asked. "maybe." i said. i went down to the celler. "alright, man what the shit up with the bottles?" i asked. i light flashed on, and i looked around. "what did that do?" owen called. "it turned on the light." i said. owen and jaymee came down. we all looked at each other. the door slamed shut. "oh, come on!" i said. the lights went out and jaymee screamed. "jaymee calm down are you afraid of pain?" i asked. "yes. yes i am." she said. "do you want to go home?" i asked. "i'm not leaving you and owen here alone." she said. "then stop yelling," i said. "lets check the door." i said. "perfect." owen said. "move," he said. he backed up adn ran into the door. he did it again, the door opened and he ran right through the door, and into the island. "huh, a ghost with humar. i like it." i said. "you ok?" jaymee asked. "yeah, we have to find out what's that slime stuf." he said, walking to the chair. "you guys aren't pranking me are you?" i asked. they looked at me. "well you never know." i said. the door swung open and close and repeated, the cupboard flew open, the dishes flying out and hitting the walls. "shit!" i yelled, as i jumped out of the way, of a knife. the chairs, to the island fell over, and a wind started. "now do you beleive me?" jaymee yelled, holding onto owen. owen grabed me and we ducked under the small work table. "zip it jaymee." i yelled. "guys!" owen yelled. everything went still. we all stood slowly. "damn, i don't know how you did it, but damn, that was a good prank." i siad. "that wasn't us." owen said. we heard a laugh. we all looked at each other. we heard scraching and looked at the table, a pen wrote across a paper. once the pen droped i picked up the note. in perfect 1900's wrighting it said, "that blonde girl annoys me, and that boy is a little odd, dont you think? the red head however i like, she reminds me of myself. oh by the way get out of this house, thanks." i read out loud. "some nerve!" jaymee yelled. "look, why are you here why do we have to leave?" i asked. i put the paper down and we waited for the pen to move. only it never did. "well can you tell us what the green slime is?" i asked. the pen rose and wrote something before falling. i picked up the paper. "don't touch it." i read. "perfect." owen said. "why don't you guys just go to bed." i said. they nodded. they went up stairs, i was about to follow them when the pen was wrighting something. i sat down. GHOST: SO, HOW'S IT GOING? i picked up the pen and looked around. GOOD. BUT I THINK YOUR SCARING MY FRIENDS. i put the pen down. GHOST: I DON'T MEAN TO. WHAT CAN YOU TWLL ME? i watched as the pen moved, after a while it droped, and i had my answer. GHOST: MY NAME IS PEYTIN, I'M SEVENTEEN, AND I WAS KILLED ON THIS NIGHT. I ORDERED PIZZA, AND THOUGHT IT WAS THE PIZZA MAN KNOCKING, BUT KNOW IT WAS MY DEATH. I WAS RAPED AND KILLED. I DON'T WANT YOU GUYS TO SUFFER WHAT HAPENED TO ME SO YOU MUST GET OUT. I picked up the pen. THE PERSON THAT KILLED YOU IS LONG GONE. PEYTIN: NO, HE HAS THIS SPELL THAT CAN KEEP HIM YOUNG FOR EVER. ROSE, IF HE FINDS OUT THIS HOUSE HAS PEOPLE LIVING HERE, HE'LL COME BACK. WHY, WHAT IS IT WITH THIS HOUSE? PEYTIN: THIS HOUSE HAS A POWER SOURCE THAT CAN BE USED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. MY DAD DISOWNED YOUR FAMILY CAUSE HE THOUGHT THAT THEY KILLED ME, NOT HIM. SO HOW CAN I GET RID OF HIM? PEYTIN: YOU HAVE TO FIND THE POWER SOURCE AND SHUT IT DOWN, THE ONLY WAY TO SHUT DOWN THE POWER IS TO GET HIM HERE. IN ORDER TO KILL HIM YOU HAVE TO SHUT DOWN THE POWER WHILE HE'S HERE, IT WILL DRAIN ALL OF HIS POWERS, AND HE'LL TURN TO DUST. HE'LL PUT UP FIGHT, YOUR GUY FRIEND WILL HAVE TO FIGHT HIM TO KEEP HIM BUSY, WITH JAYMEE, WHILE YOU END THE POWER, ONLY YOU CAN, YOUR THE OLDEST KALLER. WHERE'S THE POWER SOURCE? HOW DO I GET HIM HERE? I put the pen down but it didn't get picked up. "i need your help peytin." i said. i heard a sigh and the pen rose. PEYTIN: THE POWER SOURCE IS IN THE WINE CELLER . I KNOW HOW TO SUMON HIM, BUT YOU HAVE TO GET THE GUY AND JAYMEE IN HERE FIRST. HE CAN ONLY BE KILLED ON FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH "jaymee owen!" i yelled. they came down. "what?" owen said. "i believe you jay," i said. i gave them the note. "whoa." owen said. "so how do we get this guy?" jaymee asked. we heard a sigh. "give me the paper." i said. owen gave me the paper. i put it down on the table. the pen rose and the fell. i picked up the paper. "repeat after me, this evile has finaly met it's mach for i, have come to put it to an end. i have the power i know where to find it. please come and pay me a visit, sir of garron and come take the power." i said. they said what i said. a wind came and it knocked us on our asses. "what did you do Rose!" jaymee yelled. "i did what peytin told me to do!" i yelled. we all held on to the small table. "what the hell!" owen yelled. the wind stoped and we stood. a girl with black hair in a pony tail stood to. her skin was ice white. "i'm peytin. Rose, owen , jayjay, you have to trust me." she said. "do you trust me?" she asked. "i do," i said. she held out her hand and i grabed it. "jaymee we can't do this with out you, your a kaller too." she said. jaymee slowly took her hand. "owen, get down and cover your ears. jaymee, Rose, close your eyes and join hands, we must hurry." peytin said. we did. wind came again, and a picercing sound came. owen fell to his knees covering his ears. we closed our eyes. i rose from the floor, "put your heads to the roof!" peyting yelled. a shot of light came through the roof, and came between us. i didn't even know what happen but i guess it was in my blood. "now!" peytin yelled. "i've seen this once before in a life of true hatred, you come for the power within the depths of me. you want my power come and get it, i chalenge thee, to a fight to the death, i have what it takes to defeat thee." the wind died and the light faded and we fell to the floor. "now, sugar is something that burns him. we need to bring him into the house. put sugar every where he can excape, except the front door. once he's in, jaymee shut the door and put sugar infront of it, when you have to keep him busy while she does this, once the sugar is down run into a room, so your safe, we need to find all the sugar you have and we need to hurry we have 5 minuets so lets hurry." peytin said. once the house was covered in sugar peytin held out her hand. a sword grew in her hand, we watched awe struck. "here." she said, handing owen the sword. she gave jaymee the bag of sugar. "rose, follow me i'll show you how to shut down the power source. this is important owen don't get cocky, he will take advantage of that. jaymee be ready, rose come on." she said. i followed her to the celler. "help me move this wine rack." she said. we moved it. she put her hand out. "i call apon thee open to me." she said. a square of the floor opened. "what the fuck is that?" i asked. it was like a car engine but like a computer, lights flashed and it was as if it was glowing. "you have to get the power." she said. "how?" i asked. "your supoused to know rosalie!" she said. "don't call me that!" i yelled, kneeling down. i put my hand over the middle. the blinking lights blinked faster and the glowing was gone. "you did it!" she said. a purple firery ball came up. "grab it." she said. i took it into my hands. it smelled like old water, and it felt wet. "now we need to go to him and you have to shove it into him." she said. "you do it." i said. "you have to do it." she said. "i never asked for any of this." i said. the ball began to shake. "we need to move i'll distract him, just becarful, cause he can switch forms." she said. we ran up the stairs. he was in the form of a man, he was walking around the foyer cussing at owen and jaymee. "ah, peytin." he said. "who's your friend?" he asked. "rose." she said. his smile didn't fade. "rosalie, kaller." she siad. his smile left then and he put his wieght on his left foot and then his right. "you don't know how to get the ball of life." he said, his smile returned. "you mean this?" i asked, holding up the purple ball. his smile left. "be careful girl don't be foolish." he siad. he reached out to me. "give it to me." he said. "rose don't." peytin said. he turned around. she nodded. i steped forward, but he turned. i jumped back, almost lossing the ball. "you know rosalie, you shouldn't be so foolish." he said. "dont call me that!" i yelled. "rose keep you cool!" peytin said. but of course i didn't. i jumped forward and shoved the ball into his chest. he fell, to the floor, a percing scream coming from him, as if he was just set on fire; and shit, for all i knew he could of been. he fell into a ball, still yelling. "get back!" peytin yelled. i took a step back. he burst into a flame, knoking me back. i scooted away peytin grabed me and pulled me behind the stairs, don't you ever listen?" she asked. the screaming stopped and the fire was gone. i got up and went to where we was. nothing was left, not even a black mark from when he was burned. i looked at peytin and she smiled. owen and jaymee thundered down the stairs. jaymee hugged me. "are you guys okay?" he asked. i looked over at peytin, who was now back in ghost form. "where do you go now?" i asked. "i leave." she said. "can't you stay?" jaymee asked. "wouldn't you think it would be a little wierd to have a ghost hang with us?" owen asked. "no." me peytin and jaymme said. "don't worry if something comes up i'll be calling you, i'll come to visit you guys too." she said. "well, i'll miss you." i said. "i'll miss you to." she said. we watched as she disapeared. "midnight." owen said. "what a friday." jaymee said. "hey kids i'm back! did i midd anything?" she asked. we ran to the living room, and sat on the sofa. "nothing much," i said, as she came into the living room. "what's up with all the sugar?" she asked. "we got a little crazy." owen said. "i won't wake up to the cops at my house will i?" she asked. she looked tired and worn, like at any minuet she would fall asleep. "no," jaymee said. "good. the staff comes tomorrow, so they can clean up the sugar just clean up the pizza and get to bed ok?" she asked. "sure." i asked. "thanks." she said, climbing the stairs. "the kitchen." i siad. we all ran into the kitchen to find it clean, as if nothing ever happened. i went to bed that noght and willed peytin to come back. ROSE JAYMEE OWEN Publication Date: April 20th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-chalen

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-ncteen-little-red-riding-hood/

ncteen Little red riding hood horror/drama Publication Date: February 21st 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-ncteen

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-tammy-dreams-and-reality-aqua-039-s-version/

Tammy Dreams and Reality- Aqua's Version Chapter. 1 Getting Ready (The Dream) When I woke up, I looked beside me and all I saw was Elle, my sister. “Five more minutes,” I groaned. “No, it’s the first day and you’re getting up.” “I was up practicing my cheer, please just five.” “Fine.” She left, and I knew I was being annoying so I got up. I had gone shopping last week for a new wardrobe, just for school. While going through my clothes my mind wandered to my dream, so far I’ve had it every night and couldn’t get over it. It was sunny outside and I was out in my new Old Navy Sundress, I’m at the lake sitting on a bench with my sister. I hear guys laughing, and self-conscious as I am, I look up to make sure it wasn’t at me. I look up and a blond guy looks at me and our eyes lock. The second they do my body feels like millions of bolts of electricity have been sent through me. Then I look down trying to deceiver this feeling, but I regret it. When I look up again and see him, he’s looking away talking to some brunette guy. My heart is still beating fast from the pain until Elle looked over with her perfect, tan complexion and concern in her eyes which are framed with perfect lashes, that I am jealous of, and I want to slap her for having them, but that goes away when she starts speaking. “Aqua what’s wrong?” I didn’t even respond because I was in a trance staring at his perfected blonde hair. Stupid me, I thought to love someone I didn’t know that was probably laughing at how I blushed when he looked at me, though I was wearing some blush so he couldn’t pin it on that. “Aqua what’s wrong?!?!” She said it so loud; I knew she must have yelled it out because he turned to look. I recover fast, as always and lie, “Nothing.” I realize I’m still looking at him as he walks over. I look down and hear him get down on the ground. He gently and very slowly grabs my chin, and lifts my face. “You okay?” his eyes are full of concern, and my heart flutters wildly. I was moved by how he cared for me. I looked at him and we locked eyes, my blush concealing the real one I could feel warming my cheeks, and then I felt a smile break over my face. “Umm.” I tried to find my voice as fast as possible. “I’m fine. I just scraped my hand getting my purse, I do that sometimes.” I, still smiling, laughed a bit at its truth. He lifted my hand, and there was an actual cut there. I frowned at it, knowing that it must have done it when all my stress and fears came back, he was frowning to. I hated seeing him frown, it looked wrong on his face. I want; no I needed him to smile. “What’s your name? I’m Oskan,” Oskan said interrupting my thoughts. “I’m Aqua.” I mumbled his name, though he didn’t hear, I was uncharacteristically having a lot of luck. He took my hand and led me to his car while I followed. While I waited, he got into it thrusting another glance at me emerged with a coat and a Band-Aid. He put the Band-Aid on my hand and handed me the coat, he must have seen me shivering. I couldn’t break the smile on my face and didn’t realize I’d stopped breathing until I got dizzy. I loved that the last thing I saw was his smile, the one that matched his angelic features. My review of the dream and my thoughts of it stopped as I found my first day outfit, remarkably only taking a few minutes to find. It was a beautiful Max Azria dress a teal-blue color with a black tie around the back; I paired it with my new three quarter sleeve shrug, and a cute pair of flats, my friend Jenna was bringing my earrings. I was walking to the kitchen for breakfast, when I saw my sister going to the bathroom with some putrid looking clothing on her arm. I grabbed her arm, “What are you doing?” I questioned. “Taking a shower and then getting dressed,” I looked at the sweats and the plain tee on her arm as I rolled my eyes and sighed, I just bought her beautiful new clothes for school. I took them away and shushed her as she began to protest. I grabbed a better outfit while she went into her bathroom for a shower and put the disgusting one where it should go, in the trash. When she got out and I knew she had a towel on I knocked lightly. “I’ve got your clothes.” I told her as I walked into our small, yet going to be expanded bathroom. I gave her a very cute blue and black plaid skirt with black lace around the bottom, but gave her black tights to wear underneath to make her more comfortable. I also gave her identical flats and a plain blue shirt with a black undershirt for her. “Ten minutes to get dressed then I’m doing something about your hair.” I smiled and pushed back a loose lock of my golden blonde hair out of my face. I left and took down the hot curlers while she dressed and sprayed a bit of my hairspray into my hair. Then, of course, I walked back. “I like it. You look nice except for the curly hair.” She said jokingly, but smiling letting me know I looked good. “Well I know that you don’t like curly hair, but I do. I’ll straighten yours though, you’re going to wear a black bow and I’m wearing a blue one. So just hold still, so I don’t burn you while I fix your hair. After I was done, I did both of our makeup. Black eye-liner, all around with simple blue shadow for her but mine was a beautiful blue smoky eye emphasizing my eyes. I also put on foundation and mascara, even though Elle says I look better without foundation, I think it gives me a beautiful photo-finish. We grabbed our binders and left. We didn’t talk though; we never did during school and waiting for the bus counted as school. Chapter 2 My first day of the torture they call school When I got on the bus, I immediately smiled at my friends in the back of bus. “I’m back!” I shouted happily at them. “Hey girl!” of course was their response, I was the leader of our hive, our girl mafia. I noticed that Sapphire was back. I couldn’t be mean, that wasn’t me, but Elle would be peeved if I wasn’t. I guess we’ll have to be friends for now, besides it was Elle’s fault in a way. “So who here is trying out for cheerleading with me?”, I asked, knowing they would all raise their hands and shout “Duh!”, it was kind of a ritual, and they followed through. “Where are my earrings Jenna?” I asked suspicious that she threw them away for the more pretty real pair. “Well… I couldn’t stand it! I had to buy you the real diamonds! They look the same though!!” “That’s fine. I knew you would. So who here has the latest fashions, makeup, and perfume in their room right now?” “We all do Aqua, why do you ask us still?” asked Brooke. “Because, it’s like a clique ritual, duh”, I said. I glanced at my sister who was talking to some guys. Good for her, she’s making friends. And a cute one to, wait I couldn’t think that, I didn’t know them, and Elle needed them. “So who is dating who?” I asked, curious, but not just about them, about Elle’s friends to. “I’m dating Zach.” Jenna said. Of course you are, all last year you were in love and then you hated him for cheating, off and on like a switch. “I’m dating Nick.” Brenna said. “And I’m dating Cody. Who are you dating?” asked Brooke. “I’m dating Jake, I finally said yes to the movies last Friday.” “Then why is he talking to your sister, and some new guy instead of being over here with you?” Sapphire asked. “I let him talk to others freely; no one wants to be clingy, besides its girl time right now.” I lied, though I knew it hurt to see that, and how I didn’t have anyone else to date if he dumped me. No one else interested me at the moment. The rest of our conversation was stuff just like that, but a bit different. Then we were at school and I pushed the thoughts away as Jake carried my stuff for me and I made my entrance, the last off, shouting my signature line as I got off to my friends, who had already arrived. “I’m back!” I was greeted with many squeals, hugs, and guys staring at my beauty as usual. Then because I felt bad for excluding her I walked over to my sister. “Who’s this?” I asked teasing her as I got closer. “This is … Rye.” She seemed hesitant, but I assume that that was just her being nervous, because all of my friends were there. He nodded to me, and stepped closer to my sister as if I was going to steal her or something which bugged me but I just put it off as nerves. “I’m guessing this is the famous Aqua I’ve heard so much about.” He said, while my sister proceeded to nod and smile at his joke. Little does he know that really is the truth around here. Everyone talks about me like I’m a celebrity, he hung around Jake so he probably heard about me when I said yes to him. “Not from her, I’m guessing.” I said, nodding towards Elle. My friends started to whisper and giggle behind me, I frowned knowing that they were talking about her. “Nope. She doesn’t talk too much when other people come around. And when we do talk it’s never about herself.” He said, this bugged me who does he thinks he is trying to fill me in on my own sister, and who is he trying to impress knowing a bunch of crap about my sister? “I’m standing right here! I’m so sick of everyone talking about me! Get a life, and stop bugging me about mine! I’m fine! You want to know about me? I’m 15, my favorite colors green, when I’m in the water you can’t get me out, I love it outside, I sing to escape reality, I haven’t had a boyfriend for three years, my last friend stopped talking to me a year and a half ago, everyone thinks I’m crazy and I don’t care, and I wish everyone would just leave me alone!” My sister exploded, and she had started to cry half way in but I don’t think she noticed. Her new friend Rye was staring at her with his mouth open, and some feeling that looked like pain in his eyes that bugged me. It’s not like they’re dating, why does he care, besides what? Does he think that he can just waltz right in and freaking knows what she’s like? I’m the one who has to help her not him. She took a calming breath as I hugged her and whispered over and over, “It’s going to be ok.” Her breathing slowly became more even and I knew she was calm now, plus she got out of the hug, and wiped her eyes, a signal that she was definitely calm now. I think she was feeling guilty for hurting her friend because she looked down. “I’m sorry Rye. I told you that you didn’t want to be my friend.” She mumbled. That second I knew that she cared about him, and that I had to leave him alone because this was her first friend for a long time and possibly her first boyfriend to. His eyes were still wide as she looked up, and he looked down. Then he looked at her and relaxed. “Just because your hurt doesn’t mean I’m going to stop being you friend. You can’t get rid of me that easy. Especially since it was so much to get you to speak.” He whispered. He lifted her face, and smiled. Ewe, that is going to get annoying, you don’t see Jake being all mushy gushy, and they aren’t even dating. I think I’m jealous, wait jealous of her? No way, it’s just her annoying friend getting to me. “Smile and try to be happy for me or at least for yourself.” He asked, and she nodded then walked away. He started to go after her, but I knew better, she needed her space so I stopped him and told him to give her a minute. I knew he would so I left to talk to Jake, Sapphire stayed behind like the little jerk she is. That is so like her, why can’t she leave my sister alone I mean what happened to her happened so long ago why can’t she drop it? “Hey Jake! So what’s your sched?” I asked curious, the girls were talking to their boyfriends in the group, or flirting with their crushes, I didn’t really care. “Uumm, football, why what’s yours?” He asked, but he kept looking at the guys like he wanted to talk to them more or something. What the hell?! This is going to get annoying, why can’t he be romantic like Rye? He wasn’t even dating my sister, and he already treated her like a girl in a chick flick. “Cheerleading, so I guess I get to cheer you on. What position are you trying for?” I asked, happy that I could cheer for him, but also still kind of annoyed but I just flashed my sweetest smile and looked up at his blue-grey eyes. “Sounds cool, and first-liner.” He now seemed happy that I was cheering him on, or he was happy to see my face light up. Finally some romance, now I see why I like him. I wish I knew what first-liner was, I still didn’t understand football, all I know is that you had to have the most points to win. Then the bell rang, and he walked me to the field carrying my stuff for me and smiling at me. “Good luck, I hope you make it, and maybe even captain of your section.” I told him, truly hoping he would. That would be so cool, I mean I could be captain of the cheerleading squad, and he could be captain of the first-liners. “Um, there is no captain of the football team, or the sections, but thanks and I hope you make captain of the cheerleading team.” He corrected me with a smile. Well how was I supposed to know, and how did they function without anyone in charge besides the coach? Now I feel bad, because he didn’t even have to ask about cheerleading to know what I was going for. I must have been frowning while thinking, because he leaned down, he was three or four inches taller, and then kissed my cheek. “It’s okay that you didn’t know a lot of people don’t.” He smiled, and then jogged to his locker room to change. I didn’t realize we were even to the field, so I walked to the locker room to change into uniform with the other girls. “So, I see Jake still looovvvees you,” my friends teased. “Yeah well, that doesn’t mean I’m going to be any weaker trying out for captain.” I said simply, even though I knew none of them would dare try out for captain while I was. “Brooke and Sapphire, I want you two to try out for co-captain.” Then we all walked down to the field and tried out for our places, then just practiced some cheers, and flips. Jake scored a goal, and then smiled at me; we would know what positions we made at the end of the day. How sweet, he did that for me. So I did the most difficult flip and cheer I had for him, and smiled. Then class was over, he didn’t have the next few classes with me, because I was advanced in everything and he wasn’t, but he still walked me to every class. During class, me and my friends passed notes and whispered when teachers weren’t paying attention, although most of them didn’t really care. Then it was lunch time, my second time of the day, next to the end of it. Jake walked me to lunch of course. “Will you sit with us at lunch today Jake?” I asked hoping he would say yes, I grinned and looked up at him. “Actually, I promised I would hang with the guys.” He told me, already looking at his table. He must have saw that I was disappointed because he said, “How about I do tomorrow, and today I get you your usual salad instead?” I nodded and smiled, even though I was still disappointed, I was good at faking happiness, it was my specialty. He brought me my lunch and I went to sit by my sister, I wanted to talk to her, so I sat across from her. “Hey.” I said smiling, because her friend was there which made me happy to see her happy. “Hi.” They said at the same time. “Bye.” Elle said, and then left for a different table. What is wrong with her! I didn’t even do anything today. I didn’t even have any classes with her yet so I couldn’t peeve her off. “Sorry, but I’ve got to go after her.” Rye said apologetically. Oh my god, are you kidding me she totally just blew me off, and he is going to comfort her? That is not going to happen. I’m not sure why this bothered me but something about my sister getting his attention bugged me. “You’re not even dating. I could be a better friend.” I told him, and saw my sister freeze, sit her tray down and walk over to where me and my friends were sitting. “You had better take that back right now.” She growled at me. “No. It’s not like you’d do anything about it.” I said plainly. She wouldn’t either. Besides, she brought this on herself by being a jerk. “Sounds like you’ve been hanging out with your pet snobs to long. Their attitude is starting to rub off on you.” She spat at me. “I would rather have an attitude then mope around all day, and ignore every decent person. Besides I only said the truth. I could be a better friend to him. I wouldn’t make him leave his friends to talk to me, and I certainly wouldn’t go around making him feel bad for me.” I said starting to get angry with her little stupid comments. “If you say one more thing you are going to see what anger can do to a person.” She hissed fiercely, but still quietly. That was the end of my freaking line I started to sneer at her. “Really, okay. Here’s the honesty you say you want so dearly, you’re a cruel person that tries to make everyone feel bad for you. You are a heartbreaker, and you’re probably playing Rye for all he’s worth.” I was standing, and throwing my words at her now. Then she punched me in the stomach. At that moment I hated her, and I knew it was in my eyes because it was in hers, and her angry tears were going down her face, but a few hurt ones were going down mine. Then her friend pulled her back. I heard him mumble something to her, but I didn’t care she needed to learn her place soon, before I got really mad. He hugged her, as if she needed one in my opinion she didn’t need his comfort. No teachers said anything; they probably thought it was me getting the attention. Then she broke away from Rye. “Your pathetic, a no good liar, and I hate you.” She said it with no emotion. Whatever, she was the one taking advantage of her new friend, not me. She didn’t have to start this battle, she knows she only gets hurt starting them, but that’s fine with me she can just go die in a hole for all I care. “You don’t mean that. She’s you sister and you’ll always love her. She’s just jealous for some reason. Just try to understand she didn’t mean what she said either.” He told her as they sat down at the table in front of ours. On second thought, she can bring her little friend with her to. I do hate her, who does he think he is trying to say I don’t mean that I hate her. Ugh why doesn’t he get that they shouldn’t be friends. And jealous? Of her? I DON’T THINK SO! “You are not taking her side. She’s just a liar that pretends to be someone else, and when I say I hate her I mean it! You don’t know how she is, you only know a little bit about what she pretends to be! So don’t tell me to apologize because she’s the one that should.” How dare she, she always tries to do this. Oh look at me I’m all sad and alone, well in case she hasn’t noticed it’s her fault that she’s alone, if she was normal she would at least fake happiness to make friends. “Elle look maybe your right about some things, but you punched her. I thought you could be the bigger person and that’s how you got through this, but you’re making me doubt you. You hit you sister, it makes me wonder what you would have done if it’d been someone else.” I heard him tell her. “Look, I don’t know how many times I’ll have to tell you this; you don’t want to be my friend. You shouldn’t be my friend; I don’t want you to be. You will only get hurt if you hang around me.” She rushed her words, trying not to cry; I must have broken her. Good. “Fine. Be that way but you’re making a mistake.” He said, disappointed. Ew, that is disgusting, defending her actions that she had no reason for, that she caused. You didn’t see me having Jake say, oh it’s okay because I like you, what a stupid reason. Then he picked up his tray, and walked over to my table, and slammed his tray down. “I told you I was the better friend.” I told him, with a smile, triumphant. “Alright I’ve had enough out of you two! Grow up or don’t talk to me anymore.” He shouted, then walked straight to the trash and dumped his tray. On his way back I shouted at him, frustrated. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing! It’s not like your dating.” The rest of the day my friends and I talked about how awesome I was during the fight, and how my sister was a loser for thinking she could beat me. In drama, I noticed that Rye was ignoring Elle. Serves her right, I mean she was being a jerk for nothing, and then blew him off. I wish he would realize that I wouldn’t do that, and he should leave her for me. Finally, it was the end of the day, and I got to get on the bus, there was no way Jake could make up an excuse not to talk to me, only two of my friends were riding in the afternoon, and I told them I needed time to think, not that they would obey that. I sat down in the bus, and when Jake got on he waved, but still sat by Rye and Elle. What is this? Every guy Aqua wants to talk to ignore her day? Fine I’ll talk to Sapphire and Brooke. I just talked to them about the new perfumes we had bought, and then we exchanged ones that we didn’t have. Then I heard Rye tell Jake something about not talking to Elle. “What about me?” I asked not meaning to say it aloud; I also meant it for Jake. “Don’t talk to her either. In fact,” he said as he got up, “Nobody talk to Elle or Aqua.” He said it menacingly. Even the bus driver only looked at him. Whatever, I can talk to whoever I want to. “Hey Aqua, I see Elle’s bodyguard is upset with the both of you.” Sapphire said, giving Elle an ugly smile. “I said not to talk to them.” Rye said, butting in with some stupid threatening tone to his voice. “Rye, I’m not scared of you, and besides you’re too much of a gentleman to hurt me.” She said it like a fact, and shaking her head. “He’s being stupid.” Elle suddenly interjected. Great. Here we go again. “Oh, Elle I’m not talking to you.” She said just like when she told Rye off. Good for her, and as much as I hated to admit I felt bad because I knew that she was probably going to lose. “Why? I mean you can’t be mad still.” Elle said, yes she could. Why did she open herself for insults? “I am still mad, and just like then I hate you.” She said like Elle was stupid, I mean she knew and now Sapphire was the one opening her own self for insults. What an idiot. “Well, since we’re being straight forward, I hate you to. You need to grow up, and get over something that happened like two years ago.” Elle said, anger rising to her surface. Rye scooted close to her. “Well at least your pet is loyal.” She said in disgust. Why couldn’t she just shut up? Now Elle is going to explode, and I have to deal with it. This is so not fair. “Shut up, you don’t know anything! Hate me if you want, but don’t bring Rye into it because unlike him, I will hurt you!” That did it, Sapphire backed down. Good for her, she learnt that Elle doesn’t care what she does to her. But I’m still peeved for Elle not just ignoring her like she should have. I mean why should it bug her, it doesn’t bug her when others talk about her. “It’s your stop.” Rye said handing her stuff to her. “Thank you.” She said as she took it. Then she shoved past me, and practically ran off the bus. What the heck? What was that, I didn’t even do anything, little jerk. She also overreacted to Sapphire, which is going to be annoying for me and I know it. Chapter 3: Dealing “What the heck was that?!” I shouted at her when I came inside, throwing down my stuff down beside hers. “Don’t you think you overreacted a little bit?” I said slightly calmer now that I yelled a bit. “No, I couldn’t have been calmer because, just because I couldn’t have been. I mean she gets under my skin, and just irritates me. She needs to let it go.” She said calmly, most likely her anger had fled once she got home. “You broke her heart Elle.” I whispered, it was a touchy subject for her. She should know this; she won’t get over it easy. “She’s not going to forgive you so easily, and you reacted too much. I mean you barely know Rye. Do you already like him?” I asked, curious but distant. If they already like each other, I need to back off; Elle needs a boyfriend, besides I already have one. Why didn’t Jake and I click like that? Plus, why didn’t my personality attract him already? It attracts every guy I meet. “I thought you weren’t supposed to be talking to me.” She said calmly, she obviously didn’t want to talk about it. “Right.” I said, biting my lip, she went to her room. After a second I decided to put on some music and use my mom’s desk for homework (also known as texting the girls.) What r u doing this weekend? I texted Brooke. Nothing. You want to practice cheers? She responded. Idk depends, if I don’t make plans. G2g see u later ttfn. I told her, my weekends are always full so I wasn’t sure if I would get better plans later. I got bored quickly, none of the girls were doing anything so I went to talk to Elle, like it or not she was talking to me. Then my mom called, completely distracting me. “Hey Aqua, listen I’m working late tonight. Can you guys handle dinner tonight?” she asked rushing. Nice mom, calling to tell me on break, nice to see how the order of importance comes in this house, can’t wait to get out. “Of course mom. Good luck with what you’re doing.” I reassured her. Cheery like always and I won’t have to deal with her much longer. “Thanks. Bye.” She said quickly before hanging up. Why does she even check anymore? Then I went to tell Elle that we had to cook dinner, or she did, I couldn’t cook unless it was out of a box, a vegetable, or just really easy. I knocked lightly on her door, noticing a bruise forming on my arm from where she shoved my earlier. I heard her turn down the music, and then she opened the door. “Yes?” she asked. “We have to make dinner; mom’s getting home late today.” I told her quietly, I didn’t really want to talk to her, my arm was already bruising, and I didn’t want another. “Ok, and I’m sorry about your arm, I didn’t mean to do that.” She apologized, I smiled, but distant sometimes I wondered how many times I had to be apologized to for stuff like this from her. “It’s ok. So what do you want to make?” I asked, changing the subject, I didn’t want to talk about her outburst. “Roast beef, mashed potatoes, and corn?” She asked, making sure I was ok with what we were having, I could be picky sometimes, but today these were some of my favorites so I didn’t mind. Besides, it was non-beef roast beef for me so I could still eat it, I was a vegetarian. “Yeah, that sounds good.” She cooked the meat, peeled the potatoes and boiled them. She had me mash the potatoes, and microwave the corn. I was happy that I could mash them this time. She set the table, and I served the food. “This is pretty good.” I said. “Yeah, it’s pretty good.” She agreed. I just walked to the living room when I was finished I had new moves to learn for the step team. After that I taped my newest beauty tutorial for my YouTube account. I got hundreds of thousands of views per video. I was always getting free stuff from the company’s to try out because of all the viewers. I was a popular beauty guru, and I may possibly get to be in Seventeen magazines soon from it, though that isn’t what I wanted to be in it for, I wanted to be in it for singing, it was my passion. Then I called Jake. “Hey, Aqua.” Jake said in that cute voice of his, he had caller ID so he already knew it was me calling. “Hey. What’s up?” I asked. “I’m babysitting. Hey I’ll call you later, ok? Bye.” He said before hanging up. Well that was short, that’s fine I could play that game to. Then I saw Elle race past me. “Where are you going?” I asked, as she put on her flats. “Coffee shop, tell mom for me.” She said, opening the door. I wondered; it was karaoke night. “Wait, are you going to sing?” I asked, still puzzled as to why she was in such a hurry. “No, why?” She asked closing the door. “Well because tonight is karaoke. If you sing they give you a free coffee. Could you get me one, I’ll pay you back.” I asked, it was no big deal, I had her get me coffee all the time. “Sure, but no I don’t plan on singing. I do plan on making Rye sing though.” She said with a huge smile. “Sounds fun, can I come?” I asked, always seeking an opportunity for some sort of social activity. “Actually, that’s probably not such a good idea, because, you know.” She said half frowning, and looking down. Oh, I get it, it’s a date. How cute, I’ll let her go alone, besides who wants to be a third wheel? “It’s ok, I know when I’m not welcome, but seriously, bring my regular coffee, and we’ll talk later.” She thought she was getting out of talking about it, ha-ha. But she seriously better bring my cappuccino home for me. Chapter 4: Plans for the weekend Just a few minutes after she left, my mom came home. “Where is Elle?” She asked, looking around for her. “She is at the coffee shop, she has a little date. Don’t worry though, I’ve met him and he is really good to her, besides she’ll most likely bring him home to meet you, you know how she is about that.” I reassured her. “Oh, good, I’ll be in my office doing some editing on my charts.” She said, walking to her office. I walked up to my room, and then my cell rang. “Hello?” I said, kind of asking I didn’t know who it was; my caller ID said unknown. “Hey, it’s Rob.” I heard the guy say, it was the former star quarter back of the football team (that is before he ditched it for basketball), I wondered why he was calling me, I barely knew him. “Hey, so what are you calling for?” I asked. “I was wondering what you were doing this weekend, and if you wanted to come to the movies with me?” He asked, the first of the year. Guys were always asking me out, at least once a week, so it wasn’t a shock that he did. “Sorry, but I don’t know if I have plans, besides I’m dating Jake right now.” I said a slight attitude in my voice. I liked to be a heart-breaker sometimes; it was fun, besides that made the guys like me that much more, to know they couldn’t have me. “Oh, okay, that’s fine.” He said a bit hurt, then I hung up, it was best to be as untouchable as possible, sometimes my love life was Miley Cyrus’ I Can’t Be Tamed. Then I practiced music for drama, we were doing Glee, an area of my expertise. Then I heard Elle get home, so I went down stairs to greet her, so did my mom, pretending to be busy in the living room. “Mom, she told me they were going to study after, so don’t be mad at her for being late okay? Besides she texted me and said that she might be late, and to tell you.” I said, knowing she would be happy at her responsibility and let it slide. “Ok, but I’m still meeting this boy.” She said, being all mom-like, Elle was her favorite a lot of times. Then they walked up to the porch, so I got up and answered the door. Score! She brought my treat! “Oh, you brought home a treat.” I said, and then reached to get my coffee. “Hey Rye.” I saw their interlaced hands and smiled. How sweet, their just like a new, young couple. Kind of like me and Jake, but not I guess, he doesn’t do stuff like that. “You aren’t supposed to get home this late without calling, but I covered for you,” I told her, giving her a famous you owe me look. “Thanks, and I’ll fill you in later ok?” She said as mom walked in, pretending to just be in. “Elle is that you? I was wondering if you had any plans tomorrow.” She said before noticing Rye standing there with her hand. “Oh. Well never mind, I guess Aqua can do it.” She approves, nice mom, making up a project so that you can walk in to see her boy. “Thanks mom. Oh, this is Rye by the way.” Elle said, nodding towards him. I decided to play along with mom. “Yeah, thanks mom.” I murmured the perfect player. “Nice to meet you Mrs. Alaverez.” Rye said as he shook our mom’s hand. “Nice to meet you too.” She said before the phone rang, and she ran into her office to answer it. “Well, I should get going.” Rye said, and Elle gave a nod to the staircase, I knew that she would fill me in later so I played nice and headed upstairs. When I heard Elle go in her room a minute later, I didn’t miss a beat; I walked in her room and settled right into the blue rocking chair. She was spread out on her bed, no doubt thinking about her date, so I smiled. “Well, I believe congrats are in order.” I said, I was happy for her, I truly was, but I was kind of jealous. Where did that come from? He is hers, not mine, I have Jake anyway. We’re the perfect popularity couple, with Rye my popularity would drop juristically and that isn’t going to happen. “Well, you don’t have to say it. I mean he never asked me to be his girlfriend or anything.” She said, embarrassed by the attention. Huh, he should say it to make it official. “Then what happened? I mean, whatever happened was obviously something good, so just tell me.” I said eager for details. “Fine, I’ll tell you but no interrupting.” I nodded, even though it would be hard. “Well, when I was walking over I got splashed with mud, as you can see from my clothes. So he gave me his jacket and put his arm around his waist. When we went in somebody was singing like a dying cat, so he threw his jacket over my head and ran me into a quiet room. When he took it off his hand was on my face, and we kind of kissed. But it was only a little one and then I had him buy us coffee. Oh, and we talked about our families, favorite colors, and hobbies and stuff. Like, his favorite color is green just like mine! Oh, and he plays guitar and the drums because he used to be in a band. He even used to sing, and he’s thinking about starting a new band. He’s the middle child of five children. His brother’s 19 and his sister’s 17. Moving on, well we lost track of time, so he basically had to drag me home. I made him stop halfway and sit in front of a lamp post because I was tired. So, then once I sat down, I didn’t want to get up, so he carried me most of the rest of the way home. Can you believe how sweet he is?” She said eagerly. Wow, he is really sweet and charming. That’s going to be hard to stay away from. Especially since Jake never did anything like that, I mean he hardly even talked to me. “Yeah, Elle he sounds really sweet and funny and charming and smart.” I said absentmindedly, and then Elle snapped her fingers bringing me back. “Who would have thought the first guy you meet after all this time would be so perfect?! Elaina Alaverez, you are the luckiest girl I’ve ever met.” I said, and I meant it. She got up and bowed. “I know, if only I could put my integrity in a bottle and give it to you. Sorry, that was uncalled for. Anyways, I’m really tired, so I’m going to go to bed okay?” She said, so I left knowing I wasn’t going to get any more details. I wish you could bottle it to. Then I went to sleep, texting Jake before I did. Goodnight, sweet dreams. J , I texted him, always the sweetie. G’night and I will have sweet dreams. He texted back. Wow, at least he said goodnight half way. I fell asleep thinking of where me and Jake were going, and whether or not I should just end it now. When I woke up I smelled warm bacon, Elle must have cooked breakfast, I knew for sure because I heard her favorite song Jump Then Fall by Taylor Swift playing. I went to wash my face, and change before I came down. When I walked in I smiled in greeting, as I was handed a plate of food. I heard her phone go off, and she raced to her room. That’s my cue; he is calling for a surprise verification visit. I went upstairs, and grabbed a cute outfit and laid it out for her. Then I went into my room to do my hair. I wasn’t getting caught at home on a Saturday without being ready to do something. I did sleek and straight hair, I also put on a cute blue sweater dress with a belt to cinch it with. Then some black tights, and a nice pair of gladiator heels, and a cute leather jacket with the sleeves scrunched up. I might go to a party later at Sapphire’s place; I heard she was having one. Then I got a text and I brushed my teeth, it was from Sapphire. You coming to the party? She asked and I replied Duh, who isn’t! Then I put my phone away and walked down stairs. “Clothes by Aqua, inner glow by yours truly.” She was saying, to whom I’m assuming was Rye, bowing, and I smiled. She waved me to come closer. “You know we aren’t supposed to have boys over, but I’ll make an exception since you’re important to my sister. Though now you owe me big time.” I said, turning to Elle. “And after everything I do for you, making you breakfast, and making Rye buy you coffee, this is outrageous!” She said, pretending to be outraged which in turn made us all laugh. “You should join us for breakfast.” I said as sincere as possible, I knew he would have anyway, he wanted to see Elle in the morning as she woke up, but too bad for him I knew the drill and wasn’t going to let that happen to her, I loved her, but her hair was a mess in the mornings. “Um, yeah, sure if you want me to?” He asked turning to her, but she just shrugged, and showed him the dining room. I took it as an opportunity to take a picture for Jake, and to text him. Hey, Good Morning! Here’s a photo. I texted, sending him a full view picture of what I looked like. Wow! Hot! Good morning. Are you going to Sapphire’s party or something? I’m not. He texted. How disappointing, I couldn’t go to Sapphire’s party now. Oh well, I didn’t want to go, it’s easier this way besides she blew off my last party to. No, well I was going to, but then I changed my mind. I don’t really want to party all night tonight, maybe at Brooke’s dance in a couple of weeks. I responded. Well, I’ve got to go; I have to help my little sister get ready for her play date. He texted back. He always has to go. Ok, bye. I ended the conversation, and then I wrapped up the left overs for Elle. Then I decided to go talk to Elle so I walked to her room, and heard Rye say something about not having to talk about it. What is he talking about? “She doesn’t have to talk about what? Oh and I cleaned the kitchen up for you, covered the food with tin foil, and stuff.” I told her, and she nodded her appreciation for my help to me. “I don’t have to talk about bad memories.” She said, almost a whisper, and I knew what she was talking about. He asked about her and Sapphire. I felt awkward so I shifted from foot to foot, then left. I went back to my room and played some of my favorite songs from a while ago, and some of my newer favorites, singing along. Then I heard a knock at the door. “Just a second!” I yelled through the door, if it was someone important I didn’t want laundry all over so I quickly tossed them into the bin. Then I answered the door to see Elle standing there. “Oh, hey Elle.” “Hey, so you and Jake are dating?” She said smiling and straight to the point. “Well, he asked me out, but he’s always hanging out with you guys and so.” I blushed at how stupid that sounded, and looked down. “Well, I’ll change that on Monday he’ll talk to you ok?” She said with confidence. “Yeah, you can try, at least he’s really shy around me and now it’s awkward.” I said sure that it would be hard for her to get it to happen. “So what are you going to do today?” She asked, with that I’m planning something face. “I don’t think I’m doing anything, at least I don’t have any plans to as long as mom doesn’t come home. Why?” I asked curious, playing along with my fake assignment at the same time. “Oh, no reason, I was just curious, but I have to go.” She said as she left the room. She is planning something, most likely to do with boys, good thing I’m dressed, if it’s today. A few minutes later Elle came in and told me about our new plans, a double date at McDonalds at one next Saturday. I smiled and thanked her. Nothing really interesting happened that week, the teachers reviewed, I hung out with my friends at lunch. I cheered at one game on Thursday, and before I knew the week had begun, the weekend came. Chapter 5: Double Date The guys were sitting at an outside table when we go to our date, a few minutes fashionably late, as I call it. If you’re on time then they know they’ve got you in their pocket, but you can’t be too late otherwise it would be aggravating and you would be unreliable. I winked at Finn, the guy at the counter who was staring at me, I was wearing an outfit similar to the one I did yesterday but with a grey sweater dress, not blue and the belt was different. He hurried to play my song, He Said She Said by Ashley Tisdale. “I told you they were going to show up.” Rye said to Jake and I saw Elle’s eyebrows rise quizzically. “He bet that you didn’t show, and I said you wouldn’t do that to me.” He explained, and she nodded. I sat down next to Jake with all my grace, stealing his breath away. Elle nodded towards Jake’s hand, so I slid my fingers into his, and a smile grew on his face as I did, a slight blush creeping on mine, but I recovered quickly. We all didn’t want to eat, so Rye and Elle got up to order us all Mcflurries. “So, I saw you appreciating my dress over there.” I smiled. “Yup, it’s really hot on you.” He said, smiling. “You want to know something?” I asked. “Yeah, I want to know everything.” He said, charming as always. “Your jeans look hot on you.” I said, and we started laughing. Then they came back with our Mcflurries and then left without the keys, subtly wanting their own time alone and giving us some at the same time. “So, what have you been up to?” I asked. “Nothing really, just babysitting and practicing the guitar. What about you?” He asked looking curiously at me. Score! He plays guitar. “Just practicing the vocals, and cheering of course. Drama is doing Glee, so I am practicing that, I’m trying out for Rachel or Quinn. I can’t decide, Rachel gets more solos and is one of the biggest parts, but Quinn is more like me personally, but she gets prego and I’m not sure I want to play that.” I said. “Well, you’re always the star of my show, so I think you should go for Rachel.” He said, sweet as ever. “Thanks, maybe I will.” I said, looking intently at him. “You should, there’s an away game this Friday, are you coming?” He asked, looking at my eyes. “Of course, our cheerleading squad has to go to every game, silly.” I teased him. “Right, well I hope I can make a touchdown for you.” He said smiling. “Well with that attitude you never will. You have to know you can.” I said, my cheering and winning tactics coming in. I’m a winner, never a loser. “Ok, then I will make a touchdown for you, and we will win.” He said, smiling at my encouragement. “Good job, you’re a quick learner.” I said, leaning in as he did and then being my playful self took a side dive and kissed his cheek, then laughed. “You totally just tricked me! I’m so going to get you for that.” He said laughing. Reaching towards me, about to grab me. I was faster though, so I grabbed the keys and ran to the car, him chasing after me as I hopped into the driver’ seat. “No fair, you totally cheated.” He said taking the keys from me. “No I didn’t. Nobody said there were rules, and what do you think you’re doing? I’m driving, no way are you driving my new mustang, you are too reckless for that.” I said, taking the keys back. Girls were staring at me with jealousy, ironically Not like That by Ashley Tisdale was playing. “Yes, I am. I want to drive super-fast. I promise not to be reckless with your new car.” He said, against my will, I knew that he wouldn’t wreck my car so I gave him the keys. “Thanks, ready to go?” He asked, as I scooted over and he hopped in. “Totally.” Then he sped out, and got on the highway, going at least 80 miles an hour. “Jake! Slow down.” I said laughing at the expression of excitement on his face. “No way! This car is better than my mustang, mine is only last year’s model.” He said laughing with me. “Fine, but I’ll be aggravated if I have to explain burnt tires to my mom.” I said. “Ok, I’ll slow down towards your driveway.” He said, making a compromise that I didn’t exactly agree to, but did anyway, my mom wouldn’t notice anyway. Before I knew it we were at my house, I kissed him goodbye and then he gave me my keys, then he took the keys to his car and left. I walked in and walked up to my room. I texted all the girls and filled them in, then I of course had to say no to another football player on Facebook. Then I took a shower and got ready for a movie, to fall asleep to it. I put on Letters to Juliet, a very nice story to fall asleep to. The next day I woke up and went to wake Elle up, and ask how her date went. I knocked on her door before entering, it was a privacy thing we had. “Come in.” She groaned, and I walked in while she buried her face in her pillow, she must have gone to bed late. “Good morning sleepy head. Thanks for yesterday, when did Rye leave anyway.” I said, and heard her inhale sharply. How sweet she’s worried about him, ew that’s gross, I hate committed relationships. “He went home at like one in the morning. I’ve got to call him, and make sure he’s ok.” She said grabbing her phone. She dialed his number as I stood there. He’s hers, but I need to make sure he’s ok, for her right? Right. “Hi. I’m Elle, why do you have Rye’s phone exactly?” She asked, sounding worried. They must have responded because she said, “I’ll be there as soon as I can, so, see you in fifteen minutes.” Then she hung up, shaking and as pale as a ghost. Chapter 6: The accident that almost broke Elle’s heart “What’s going on? You’re as pale as a ghost.” I asked concerned. “Rye got…” her voice broke to tears. “... he got hit on his way home last night and he has a concussion. He’s unconscious and I have to go.” She said tears running down her face. I hugged her as tight as I could, because even though he wasn’t mine it hurt to know that. Why did this hurt so much? He isn’t mine and he won’t be. He loves Elle, not me, and I am dating Jake. I am so in trouble. I need to get my feelings straight. I went to change, and then Jake and Jake’s mom drove us to the hospital. Elle hurried to his room and we decided to give them some time, so we just walked up the stairs while she ran. Jake hugged me, and comforted me. “Jake, he’s unconscious; he will wake up won’t he?” I asked looking up with what I knew were tearing eyes. “Of course, Aqua, he’ll wake up I promise.” He said, pulling me closer. “Thanks.” I whispered in his ear before reaching up to kiss his cheek. Then we got to the room, when Elle looked like she could take it I went inside. “He’ll wake up Elle, because he has to.” I said, trying to sound sure. This isn’t fair, it shouldn’t hurt, he isn’t mine. He will wake up though, even if I have to slap him, that’s horrible but I know that I would do anything to get him up, for Elle. Right? Right. “I know. He promised me I wouldn’t be left alone. Help me talk to him please.” She didn’t ask she begged. We talked to him for ten minutes, and so the others waited outside, being as patient as they could. “Yeah Rye we are all here for you, and we are all waiting for you to wake up and smile.” I said, and he squeezed Elle’s hand. She leaned down and whispered something, most likely some I love you things. “I love you, wake up, please.” I mumbled. OH MY GOD! Did I just say that? I hope she didn’t hear me. I’m dating Jake, not him and I can’t care about him, what am I doing? I needed to stop before I hurt myself, he wasn’t for me, he didn’t like me he liked Elle, Elle. That thought stung my eyes but I knew it was true. His eyelids fluttered, and we could see his eyes again. He smiled at Elle and she said what I wanted to. “I love you” she said it with passion and relief. I need to stop thinking about him, I am going to leave as soon as I can, I don’t want to hurt anyone, including myself. “I love you to, Elle.” He said to her, which hurt and now the tears stopped streaming from me. This fight is over; I’m not going to have him. He belongs to Elle. Then they kissed, and he wiped the tears from her face. “Elle, why are you crying?” He said as she broke away. “You scared me to death. Next time, you ask for someone to give you a ride. I can’t believe I did this to you. If I hadn’t kept you so long you wouldn’t have gotten hurt. I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I didn’t. I really didn’t.” She said, tears falling from her eyes. He started to respond, but a shrill voice interrupted him. “So it’s your fault! Get out of here and just get out all of you. If it weren’t for you, Rye would be at home okay!” She shouted at us, which made Elle cry harder. Rye pulled her closer, and hugged her tighter comforting her. Who the hell does she think she is? Just because I don’t mind Elle having him, doesn’t mean that I’m not peeved at this lady, besides she’s yelling at me to and that isn’t going to fly with me. “Don’t yell at her mom. She didn’t know this would happen. Can’t you tell she’s upset about it? It will already take her months to forgive herself without you shouting at her, and making it worse!” He shouted at his mom, starting to comfort Elle again. Then he slowly released her as she became calmer and his mom stared at them. “So you woke up for her, even though I’ve been here all day.” His mom said with jealousy. “I didn’t do it on purpose. I just heard her, but yes, I was glad to see her face when I woke up, even if it was tear stained.” He said surely looking at Elle and nodding towards his mom. “I see, well I’ll come by later. I have a meeting to attend and a party to plan.” She said gathering herself like she was excusing herself from a meeting. She had golden blonde hair streaked with grey, and she had a small pointy noise. A few minutes later we had to step out so that the doctors could check some stuff on him. Then we all walked back in smiling and teasing him about his accident. “Geez dude you freaked us out.” Jake said giving Rye a pat on the shoulder. Rye just smiled and shrugged. We all talked to him for an hour while Elle stood in the corner watching us. “Well Jake, we’ve got to get going, but we have time to drop the girls off if you want.” Tania, Jake’s mom, said as she stood and stretched. Elle came out of her corner, and not looking like she wanted to leave. “Aqua you can go with them, I want to stay for a while.” She said looking at Rye. I bit my lip, I didn’t want to leave, but I left anyway. As we walked out to Jake’s car I saw Rye’s mom opening her car door, it was a Ferrari, and she was opening it with a tissue. “A little prissy for this neighborhood and possibly a little too flashy to. Don’t you guys think?” I asked them a little louder than necessary. Jake and his mom played along, revenge is sweet. “Yeah, definitely.” They agreed a little too loudly. It worked, we said it too loud for her to ignore, because she looked up and glared. “Is there a problem with your car?” I asked, smiling as if I didn’t say a thing. “Not at all.” She said a bit angry. “Have a nice day then.” I said “accidentally” throwing the cup of tea I got in the café down a little too close to her shoes. Then we all got into the car and drove away. “Nice job, Aqua, I think we taught her a lesson about yelling at teenagers for something out of their control,” Tania said, smiling at me and Jake huddled up in the back seat. “Thank you. The one thing I won’t tolerate at all is people messing with me or my family.” I said smiling. “Well, it’s good that you have those kinds of characteristics. We’re at your house, Jake if you want to go in with her and stay for a while you can. Goodbye Aqua, have a nice day.” She said, now I know where Jake gets his driving skills from. “No, I want to but I have to practice for football. Sorry Aqua, see you later.” He told me, smiling apologetically at me. “That’s okay, I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye Tania.” I said kissing Jake goodbye, and then giving Tania a hug. “See you soon, Aqua.” She said hugging me back. Then I went inside and made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, one of my few expertise, even though I wasn’t hungry and fed the rest of the three fourths to my Pomeranian, Cocoa. I wonder why Jake’s mom is so cool with me, maybe it’s because the only daughter she has is really young. As I walked up stairs to listen to music I pondered that thought. Then I sang which is very freeing. Music is my art, my sport, I needed it to live. Chapter 7: School without Elle or a single problem I woke up at about 5:30 for school. I took a quick shower, and scrunched my long hair, and pinned back my bangs. Then I got dressed in some high wasted shorts and a spaghetti sleeve white tank top. Then I slipped on some small heels, only about two inches. I added a simple golden chain; it said Aqua on it and some fun hoops. Then I put on my makeup, today I did a Royal Blue Smokey eye to add pop of color to the outfit I was wearing. Then I tossed on some white bangles, and a black flyaway to complete the look. Then I grabbed my stuff, and headed for the bus stop, and then Elle came out without any stuff. “You aren’t going to school are you?” I asked shaking my head and smiling. “Of course not, I have to see Rye, I promised him I would. So yeah, I definitely have to, please don’t tell. I mean I’m going anyway, but be nice to me.” She begged, and I just nodded. She is so obsessed with him its funny. Then she left with the mustang and I waited for Sapphire’s new limo to pick me up. Then it came, and the chauffeur opened the door for me. “Hey Girls!” I said as I went inside. “Hey Aqua!” They all said as I hoped in. “Where’s Sapphire?” I asked. “She’s already at school. She wanted to meet her boy there earlier for a convo, she said she wants to break up with him, but she sent us the limo with a card in it saying ‘Sorry I couldn’t make it. C u soon’.” Jenna explained. “Oh, well I don’t care. Brooke, do you have your Beyoncé perfume with you? I forgot to spray mine this morning.” I asked. I really could care less if Sapphire is here or not. I could care less if she never comes back, I could do without her. “Yeah, here you go.” She said, handing it to me. “Thanks.” I said, taking it and spraying myself. “Wow! That smells amazing on you Aqua. It doesn’t smell like that on me.” Brooke said. “Everyone’s skin reacts differently Brooke, it just so happens that my skin chemically reacts better than everyone else’s skin.” I said, and they all agreed. “I wish I had your beauty,” Ashley fawned over me. The rest of the limo ride was basically everybody fawning over how great I looked today. I gave out a few compliments. No need to give out too many, if I do then I’ll be too nice. I need to be as mean as possible without losing them; stupid accident threw my attitude off. Stupid idiotic drivers hurting people, making me soft. When we got to school Jake was waiting for me. When I got out, we all took our stuff to our lockers; we dominated the lockers in the west hall. “Ok girls, go give out your SOA stickers.” I told them. Our SOA stickers stood for Seal of Approval, or in other words we only gave them to select people, and they meant that we wouldn’t pick on them because they were to cool for that, but still not cool enough to hang with us. We only handed them out once a year, and each girl only got one, the guys to (well except me I got six but I was the leader what else would you expect?). They were rare and a lot of teens did a lot to have one. “Ok. I’ll separate them into their groups.” Sapphire said. I just nodded, while she started. Once they were all gone I talked to Jake. “So, do you think that Rye will be at school soon?” I asked looking up at him. Rye needed to be here, Elle couldn’t flunk school, and out of school she would flunk, but coming without him here she still wouldn’t do her best. “Of course. Don’t worry, if I know Rye he’ll pull out of it soon. Why are you so worried?” He asked looking suspicious. He thinks that I like him! Ew, that thought disgusts me. I’m only asking because I’m concerned about Elle. “I’m just concerned about Elle. She relies on him a lot and if he’s not here I’m concerned about what it will do to her.” I said, not a contradiction in my voice. “Oh, well, yeah he’ll be back soon.” He said, hugging me tightly. How cute, he’s still jealous. Then the bell rang, and the rest of the day went just like the others, in cheerleading we practiced for Friday’s game, in step team we worked on our dances, and in drama I practiced to be Rachel, in class teachers reviewed and I got Elle’s homework for her. Nothing really happened until lunch. I texted Elle (I didn’t care what the rules were I was doing it anyway) So how is it with you? (and Rye lol). Well, I don’t know how Rye is, you’ll have to ask him, I don’t really care how he is, but I’m fine. She texted back, huh weird I wonder what’s going on there. What happened? You’re always concerned about Rye and know how he is. I asked, I didn’t understand where this was coming from. I’m not telling you. Yes, you are. Just tell me, it’s not like I’m going to laugh. Fine, we broke up. WHAT?! WHY?! He called me a charity case. How dare he? You are not a charity case. I know all I said were a few little things, like that I wasn’t fragile and he didn’t have to be stronger than me. What a jerk, he took things way out of proportion. You guys have to get back together though. No. He wants me to apologize and I’m not going to. Yes. Yes, you are. Besides he will apologize to, you just have to be the bigger person and do it first. No. Yes. No. No. No. Fine, be that way. Bye Bye This had to be fixed, they had to be together. If they didn’t get back together, I couldn’t control myself and it would break Elle’s heart to see me and Rye together, no matter how much she said it wouldn’t. Plus, I would be breaking Jake’s heart, and that would be mean, but I know I would do it if they didn’t back together. This is going to be fixed as soon as possible. Then Jake walked up with my usual salad. “Hey, thanks for getting my lunch for me.” I said, looking up at him as he sat down. He still looks unsure of something; does he really think that I would leave him for Rye? EW, I mean that wouldn’t happen even if I wanted to, he belongs to Elle. “You’re Welcome.” He said, studying my face for a sign of un-interest. “So, why aren’t you eating?” I asked, this couldn’t possibly bother him enough not to eat could it? “No reason, it’s just that your friends eat so little. It’s weird.” “Oh, well if you want to you can have the standard salad, I mean it’s more filling then you think.” I told him, proud of my little salad. “Thanks but no thanks. No offense, but guys can’t survive of that little.” He said, shaking his head at me as if I didn’t know it. “Well, you have to try it. It would be wrong, and mean if you didn’t.” I said holding out a veggie-filled fork full, pouting to win. “Fine, I’ll try it.” He agreed, eating the whole fork full in one bite. “It’s actually good.” “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Eating healthy doesn’t always mean it has to be gross.” “Good point, but don’t you try to get me to eat spinach.” He said, wrinkling his nose at the thought. Then he got up, and turned. “Where are you going?” I asked, very confused. “To get my own salad silly,” he said eyeing the salad bar, and leaving me and the girls laughing at how cute he was. “So, he even eats salad for you. I wish a guy would do that for all of us,” Jenna said, sighing and shaking her head at the guys at the next table, who were eating a bunch of meat. “Yeah, it’s called guy-hypnosis. Isn’t that right Sapphire?” I said, turning to her. “Definitely, you just have to use your charm to get what you want; it’s really simple if you guys want some lessons on it.” She said, basking in the glory. Gross, I hate how much she enjoys being the center of attention. I guess I’ll just have to give her as little as possible so it doesn’t bug me. “So, who is having the next party?” I said, looking around as Jake sat back down beside me. “None of us, the cheerleaders are throwing a dance soon.” Brooke answered looking at her yearbook. “Cool, I guess we should start planning then, and we should try and get live entertainment.” I said, and then looking at the picture and the name Brooke was staring at in her yearbook. It says Matt something; I can’t make out the last name. He was some buff guy, but not grossly muscled like body-builders. I guess that’s who she has her eyes on for the dance. Then she closed the book, and I actually focused on what Jenna was saying. “We should try and get a prize for a dance comp. during the dance. We should also see if we can get someone with connections for actually good live entertainment.” Jenna said, spitting out the ideas like a machine. “Definitely, theme should be just like a casual dance party, no one wants to dress up to dance all night to live entertainment.” Brooke said, as I nodded my approval of their ideas. I think that Rye has a lot of money, maybe he has the connections for this stuff, and if he won’t do it for me, he will for Elle. “I think we should have a D.J. and Ashley Tisdale as our live entertainment. During D.J. breaks she could sign autographs.” I suggested, and they all nodded eagerly, then the bell rang and I and Jake left for class. Even though we didn’t have class together, he still walked me to Mrs. Mariachi for Algebra 2. “See you later,” I said as gave me my stuff and a hug bye. “Yeah see you later,” he said hurrying off to catch up with the guys. Why doesn’t he ever say I love you? I mean Rye and Elle said it on like the second date, it’s almost our month-a-versy and I still haven’t gotten one. He also never opened up about his emotions. I wondered like that while taking notes, and then I went to my other classes and went home. Elle wasn’t there when I got home so I assumed that she was still at the hospital making up with Rye. There was a message from mom that said she would be getting home really late and wouldn’t be here for like a week starting tomorrow from some stupid business trip, and she would check on us every day. Then I went upstairs to do my homework and check for any new videos from the other beauty gurus on YouTube. Then I called Brooke, I was really curious about who she liked. “Hey Aqua,” she greeted me; I could hear she was happy about my call. “Hey Brooke, what are you up to?” “Nothing much, how about you?” “Well I’m going to go to the café in a little while with my sister, but I was wondering.. who do you like?” I asked her. I wonder if it’s the Matt guy that she was staring at in the yearbook. “Matt, I was staring at his picture earlier, and don’t lie I know that you noticed.” “Yeah but I don’t know who he is, I guess I’ll just have to look for him, but he looked nice.” “What do you mean by that?” She asked jokingly. “You know,” I said laughing with her as I did. “Cool, hey I have to go, stupid Sapphire is calling me non-stop and if I don’t answer she’ll give me hell for it.” “KK bye.” “Bye.” I ended the call, and then waited a few minutes before leaving to get Elle, she knows I can’t cook besides I wanted to make sure she had made up with him and not, like killed him or anything. I texted Jake and asked him if he wanted me to pick him up so that we could go see together, and he texted that he was already there so I just drove alone. I didn’t touch-up my makeup, no one would be there that I had to impress except Jake but I knew he wouldn’t dump me because I wasn’t completely photo-finish, I mean my skin was still clear and some of the foundation was still there, but not in a bad way. When I got there it had took another 20 minutes to get there so she had plenty of time to talk to him alone. They better have made up. Wait, how was I going to find out room they were in? I can’t remember, and I’m not asking a nurse for help, guess I’ll have to though; there is no way I’m going to remember that number. “Excuse me, but can you tell me what room my friend is in?” I asked a nearby nurse. “Sure honey, what is their name?” She asked. I’m so happy she’s a nice nurse instead of one of those cranky old ones. “Rye, but he might be under the name of Fisher.” I answered smiling. “Ok, it says he’s in room 101.” She said handing me a map just in case. “Thanks.” Then I walked away taking the elevator, I didn’t see Elle on the way, I wondered where she was at. If they were still fighting maybe he knew where she was crying at. Then I found room 101 and burst in. “Have you seen, oh, Elle there you are!” I said relieved, but then I took in my surroundings. There were totally a bunch of cute guys staring at me, and I didn’t have any makeup on, I could feel the pink spreading on my cheeks. Oh god, this is embarrassing, and awkward these guys are totally cute and I don’t have like any makeup on, it faded during school. Oh no, this can’t be happening, someone save me. After what felt like an eternity, Elle broke the few second silence. “I’ve been here basically all day. You know, just having a day with the guys. Do you know all of them, or?” She said, bringing me out of my embarrassment but not quite out of that self-conscious state. “Oh, well I know them sort of; I mean I’ve heard of them.” We both looked at Rye, who got out of his chair. “I’m starving; you want to get something with me? Aqua?” Jake asked, turning to me before his friends could introduce themselves. I nodded my agreement, happy for him saving me from that mess. When we got to the café he sat me down and went to get us some food. When he came back he looked a lot happier than in there. Was he jealous? I didn’t even know them, I mean sure they were really cute but I wouldn’t dump for all of like what, two minutes? “Here is your chef’s salad, which if you don’t eat I will, because as I recently discovered they are delicious.” He said, handing me my plate and smiling. How sweet, but I’m not interested in the food, I want to talk about some things. “Instead, can we play a game?” I asked, hoping he would say yes. “Sure, what kind of game?” He asked curiosity in his eyes. “A question game, Elle came up with it, it’s where you have to ask a question and the other person has to answer truthfully and then the next person asks and it continues from there. Oh, and you can’t ask the question the person just said.” I said looking at him, and I saw him consider it and then get the yes in his eyes. “Sure.” “You first.” “No, you.” “Fine, do you like Elle, and before you say anything, I’m asking because you are always hanging out with her and not me so.” “Ew, no, that’s like dating my little sister, I just look at her as a little sister, you know always there sometimes annoying but you still protect her because of you know her being your little sister. My turn, do you like Rye?” He asked, suddenly getting jealousy in his eyes. “No. Why don’t you ever open up to me? I feel unwanted when you don’t.” “You haven’t broken into my walls. Are you going to dump me soon?” He was pained at the thought, and I wondered who had planted that into his head. “No, I probably won’t for a long time. Why can’t I get into your walls?” I didn’t mean for that to be a question but it just sort of came out. “You have to be more open to me, and not be I don’t know, not closed off. Are you a vegetarian?” Why is he trying to get out of this part of the convo? It was just a subject, it didn’t mean he had to open up more, it just meant I wanted him to. “No, I just like to eat really healthy. Why don’t you say I love you?” “I think that means commitment, and it will be hard, and that you would be rushed if I said it. Are you a virgin?” “You can’t have that answer, and I wouldn’t be.” “You have to answer.” “No, I don’t.” “Yes, you do, it’s the rules.” “To bad, game over.” I wasn’t answering that question, and he would have to deal with it, if I told him he would be mad. This game was over and I can see him glaring waiting for an answer but that wasn’t going to happen. I hope Elle would come soon, I didn’t want his confrontation, that meant dealing and I didn’t want to. I went to dump my tray in the trash and then sat across from Jake and turned in the direction Elle would be coming in, happy that she would come and interrupt, for once. I didn’t want to look at him, I was mad that he asked that. Stupid question game, this is why I don’t like games, they just lead to trouble and that for sure isn’t fun. I hope Elle wants to go home; I don’t want to have to explain to her friends why I had to keep telling Jake he wasn’t getting an answer. I wish he would stop glaring at me, he is so stupid sometimes. Why can’t he have kept things simple instead of asking difficult questions? When is Elle getting here? I can’t ignore his glares for a long time. Also, I think that I shouldn’t tell her what we were talking about, just in case she gives me an opinion I don’t want. Then Elle finally came up and walked by saying, “I’m going home, come if you want warm food.” “Guess I have to go, what a pity.” I told Jake and then shouted after Elle, not giving him a chance to respond. “Wait, I don’t want cold food!” I ran after her, I was curious about her and Rye; she was already at my car. “I need the keys.” She said expectantly, and I threw them to her sliding in the passengers’ seat smiling, still curious. “So how are things with Rye?” “Well, I have to say it’s going perfect. Actually, every thing’s perfect except for, oh, Ian.” She said flopping her hands on the steering wheel. Wow, that sounds bad. Like he did something really mean. “Oh well, it sounds bad what happened?” I asked curious as to what he said, and giving her an I’m sorry look, I felt bad. “He’s being ridiculous, I didn’t say anything. He just thought of it the same way because he thought I was trying to lecture him on using other people, and then I got mad and dragged Sapphire into it. So it was really stupid. Anyways, what about you and Jake?” She asked, changing the subject. I gave her a tight smile; I was still peeved that he would ask that. "It's wonderful, awesome, just peachy." I said bitterly. “Oh, wow then, what did he do?” She asked. “It doesn’t matter, oh wow look at that we’re almost home.” I said, hoping she would drop it and change the subject with me, she didn’t. “I’m not stupid; I know you’re trying to change the subject. Tell me what happened.” She said and I was disappointed that she wouldn’t play nice. I guess that I will just have to be very unclear on what happened. “Nothing, really. I was just talking with him about stuff and he asked a question that I’m not going to answer, and he asked for no freaking reason to; you know he really needs to learn boundaries. Anyway, what are we having for dinner?” I asked, knowing she would change the subject soon; I made it clear that I didn’t want to talk about it. “Well, since you’re not going to tell me what happened, I guess I’ll just help you change the subject, but I’ll find out eventually.” She said, smiling like she would, then she changed the subject. “I was thinking pizza.” “Well, that’s not very healthy, so I guess we’ll just have to have one topping so that it won’t be so bad.” I said, half talking to her half to myself. Then we got home, and Elle ordered the pizza while I went upstairs. I heard her talking to the pizza guy, is she really talking to the pizza guy? “Are you talking to the pizza guy?” I asked. “Yes, his name is James.” She shouted back. Ew, of course, stupid karma trying to make me answer questions, well to bad for karma I wasn’t going to answer. “Ew, get off the phone!” I shouted back, she would probably think that he was ugly and hang up. I wonder if I can get free pizza for flirting or something, besides I need something to get my mind off of Jake. Then I heard a pinging at my window, what is that? It’s really annoying. I went over to my window to see Jake standing down there, throwing rocks at my window, so I opened my window; he was going to go away. “Go away Jake, no one here wants to talk to you.” I told him harshly, hoping that he would drop it. “No, not until I get an answer.” He said, pleading with his eyes. “To bad, you’re not getting one.” I told him, shutting the windows. Then I heard the doorbell ring, and I saw that it was a guy delivering the pizza so I ran down stairs. “I’m answering this one.” I told Elle as she looked confused, standing halfway between the couch and the door. “Hey.” I said opening the door, looking as teary as possible. “Hey, that will be $5.99.” He told me, trying to figure out why such a pretty girl was crying most likely by the look I saw on his face. “I’m sorry, I don’t have any money, my dad just left us and my boy broke up with me, and my mom is never home, and might die from stress..” I said crying my best tears, making up reasons not to pay for the pizza, drifting off as if unable to finish my sentence. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I’ll pay for this one for you. Good luck with your.. problems.” The guy told me, handing me the pizza and giving me a sympathetic smile. “Thanks.” I said, giving him a watery smile, as I shut the door, as soon as I heard him get in his car, I did a victory dance. “Got the pizza for free.” I said, all smiles, setting it on the table. “Do you just do that to see if you can?” She asked, shaking her head. “Yup, pretty much.” I said, taking a slice and blotting it with a napkin. I ate about half of the slice and then threw it in the trash, distracted by my little problem upstairs. I went upstairs and stared at my reflection, wondering what I could do to make him go away. Then I started hearing the ping again, so I ran to the window and wrenched it open. “Go away!” “No, you are going to give me an answer.” He shouted back up at me. Then Elle walked up the stairs, great, now I have to do something about her to. “What is going on up here?!” She asked, walking to the open window, and smiling when she saw Jake there. “Oh, hey Jake! What’s up?” “Oh, nothing much, just trying to get your sister to talk to me.” He said, running his hand through his hair to cover up the rock in his hand. Then, I shoved her away from the window and threw a threatening glare at Jake, slamming the window shut. “Don’t let him in either.” “Ok, I’m going to go see if I can get free pizza for the guys at the hospital.” She said hopping off my bed and leaving. “No.” I told her and kind of Jake at the same time, it was one thing to get free pizza for yourself, but for others, come on, that was a little bit of taking advantage of young pizza guys and their vulnerability. Then I heard her get the pizza a few minutes later, for free of course and let Jake in, disobeying both of my orders. I heard her offer him some pizza before she left, and tell him where the key to my room was. Oh come on! She had to tell him where the key to my room was too! She could have told him to find it on his own, you know buy me some more time. I heard him get the keys and open the door, so I hid in my closet. “Aqua, I know you’re in here, I’ll find you eventually.” I heard him say it, but I was hoping he would give up and go home. Though life isn’t that kind so, just a few minutes later he opened the closet door. “Come on, get out of there.” He pleaded, holding out his hand. “Fine.” I complied, not liking that he wouldn’t give up. “What do you want?” I asked, playing stupid for more time. “To talk, and you know it.” He said, sitting on my bed. “You have a serious problem with magazines you know. One day I’m going to get in here with a trash bag and get rid of all the ones you don’t need.” He said, picking one up and wrinkling his noise at the cover. It was that months GL and it had Miranda Cosgrove on it; he didn’t like her too much. “I am only subscribed to five and my mom pays for them.” I defended myself. Then I heard Elle run upstairs and shout through the door, “That is not true! I’ve had to buy magazines before.” “Why are you still here? Their pizza is going to get cold!” I shouted. “Sorry. I’m leaving now, oh wait, Jake does Matt like Brooke?” She asked. What the heck? She is not helping the get rid of Jake thing. “Yeah, he has for a while.” He said opening the door to let her in. “Cool, in that case I need your phone, and on second thought yours to Aqua.” She said, holding out her hand expectantly. “Fine, just go.” I said exasperated, handing her phone as Jake handed her his. “Ok, I’m leaving for real now, bye. You will get these back when I’m done.” She said leaving, this time I made sure she left through the window. As soon as she left I turned to Jake, “Do you really want to know?” I asked, biting my lip. “Yes.” “Ok, then, no I’m not. Are you?” “No. What’s your number?” “Umm, well, hold on..” I drifted off, heading to my draw of notes and reminders; I pulled out the paper that reminded me. “Seven, what’s yours?” “Seven, wow that’s um well, ok I lied, I am a virgin.” He said it like it was a bad thing. “Ok, well before you ask my first was James, but I really don’t won’t to do those things again.” I said, frowning at the memories. “Ok, but before I can date you any more, you know I have to catch up with you right?” He asked. WHAT?!! No, he cannot call a break for something so stupid. “No, you don’t. That‘s also not going to happen with me until you can say I love you and at least two years have passed.” I said, confidently. “Yes, I do, I don’t want anyone to think I deserve you less than they already think.” He replied, ignoring the second part of what I said. “Well, that’s not going to happen from me, so find someone else for your little problem.” I said, shoving him towards the door. “Fine.” He called Elle and talked to her about something in the hall with our home phone. Then he came back in and handed the phone to me, “She wants to talk to you.” I gingerly picked up the phone, afraid of what she would say. “JUST LET HIM CATCH UP WITH YOU! I’M NOT DOING IT FOR YOU!” “No, but I’ll fix this.” I told her calmly, but on the edge of hysteria. “Ok, but don’t let him call me about that anymore.” She said, calming at the sound of tears and anger in my voice. “Ok, bye.” I said, the tears really coming now, knowing what I would have to do. “Bye.” I put the phone down as I hung up and then turned to the closet and pulled out my box of Jake’s stuff and threw his sweater in it, then headed down stairs to talk to him. “Jake, come outside with me.” I told him, not waiting for him to come outside before going out myself. “What is it?” He asked, looking concerned and just making this that much harder. “You are not catching up with me, or my sister, or Sapphire before you say it.” I said, holding up my hand when he tried to object. “Here’s your stuff and just do me a favor and don’t talk to me.” I said handing him the box, and waiting for him to take it. He didn’t so I just set it down at his feet. “Are you breaking up with me?” He asked, his eyes wetting. “I don’t know, but you need to go home.” I said, leaving him out in the cold and going upstairs to get ready for bed. I lit my no-flame candle, and went to bed with some soft Beethoven playing. At about Midnight, I got a hard shake. “What?!” I groaned as I woke up to my sister. “Go out there and fix Jake. I’m trying to get to sleep and I can’t because all I hear is sniffle sniffle.” She said, angry about not getting any sleep. “I don’t want to.” I said rolling over. “To bad, you going to.” She said, yanking my blanket out from under me. “Fine,” I told her, stumbling over to my closet and pulling out my sweater. I walked outside to see Jake with red-rimmed eyes, like my sister’s tired ones, but these were from tears. “I changed my mind; I want your stuff back.” I said picking up the box. “Really?” He asked, pinching himself to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming. “Yes, really, but you need to go home now.” I said, looking around for the roses that were in the box when I gave it back to him earlier. “Ok, but, oh your roses I kind of ruined them, you know does she love me? Does she me hate me thing. But, I wanted to say... I... l... I love you.” He said, trying to force it out. “Aww, I love you to.” I said, putting the stuff down and kissing him, then pulling away slowly and hugging him before completely letting go. “Wow, that’s great, I was worried you wouldn’t say it back, and I actually feel more open, it wasn’t hard at all. Are you happy now? You turned me gay, like Rye.” He said, smiling. “Good job, now go,” I said, pointing to his car. “Ok, bye, I love you.” “I love you to,” I waited until his car was down the road before going in. “Did you fix it?” Elle asked, waiting at the door, an expectant look on her face. “Yes, and he turned gay! He finally said it!” I said, happy that we were fixed. “Good, now go to sleep before I throw something at you.” She said, changing from happy for me to crabby from loss of sleep in like two seconds. “Like..” Then I was cut off by a pillow hitting my face, I had meant to say like what, but I went upstairs before more stuff got thrown at me. Chapter 7: Elle at school without Rye The next morning, I was very happy and content, actually greeting the morning. I pulled out a pleated skirt and a red top with a white camisole underneath. I had started to do my hair and makeup when Elle walked in. “I’m taking a shower.” She said, tossing me her clothes to inspect. She actually did good, a blue shirt with the cutest saying on it, even though it wasn’t true and knee-high jean capris. “Not bad actually.” I said, surprised she didn’t have sweat pants or something else putrid. When I walked down stairs I saw Elle eating cereal, so I followed her example and made a bowl of frosted flakes, another one of my little expertise. “So, are you going to school today?” I asked eyeing her suspiciously, knowing her she wouldn’t unless Rye told her to. “Yup, Rye’s making me.” She said between mouthfuls of cereal. “Well, you’ll be fine.” I told her, and she nodded her agreement. We finished breakfast in silence, and then put on our shoes, she put on her black flats and I put on my red pumps, I felt like doing something I didn’t do often, probably because I was all lovey-dovey because of Jake. “So Jake went gay?” She asked, smiling. “Yeah.” I said my smile growing ten times, and then I saw her frown. “I forgot to do any of the work.” She groaned. “Well, lucky for you I paid someone to do it in case you forgot to. Well, I guess technically you paid for it.” I said staring to drift into space. She gave me the money, but that was a long time ago, huh I wonder if I paid for it or she did in a way. I wonder what Jake’s doing. “Thanks, you’re a life saver.” She said as I pulled her complete work from my bag. Then we got on the bus, and when Jake got on he sat by me, probably because he knows that my friends will compliment him if he sits next to me. “Wow, Jake your hair is so cute.” Jenna said. “I love your outfit Aqua, and Jake I love your shirt.” Brooke told us. Jake was wearing a plaid button up, and some guy shorts. The rest of the bus ride was people complimenting us on our outfits, hair, and so on. When we got to school, I noticed James talking to Elle. Oh no, he likes her, she has to stay away from him, he’s a jerk. He is out of line to; I don’t know what I ever saw in him. I walked over and grabbed her by the arm, “Come on Elle, you owe me right? So come with me now.” I said quietly but seriously. “Oh, ok, later James.” She said waving as I dragged her from him. “Why are you talking to him?!” I demanded, stamping my foot. “I didn’t, he came up to me. Any ways, why don’t you want me talking to him? Wait I know because you lost your.” I cut her off, putting my hand on her mouth, I didn’t want the whole school to know, only a few of my friends knew and I didn’t want it getting out everywhere. “Sh. Keep your voice down, I don’t want people to know.” I whispered, looking at my approaching friends, Jake was with them. She rolled her eyes, but then smiled to, seeing Jake hanging out with me must have made her happy. “Hey Jake, I heard you turned gay last night.” Elle said, and we laughed, but no one else knew what we were talking about. “Well yeah. I would have said it sooner but…” He drifted off leaving Elle to her own conclusions. Then Sapphire walked up, a huge smug grin on her face, crap. “Hey Aqua, so you are going to help with the dance? Because I told people you were and I don’t want to lie.” She said emphasizing the word, and staring at Elle with a blank sort of glare. Elle took a deep breath and let it out loudly heaving her shoulders up, then down while she did it, I gave her a keep it cool look, I didn’t want to have to deal with another fight. “Well yeah, I mean it sounds cool. Everyone else is to right?” I said and all the girls nodded. “Oh, hey Brooke do you know Matt?” Elle said, and I smiled, she was planning on something with those two, and I think I know what it is. “What does that have to do with anything?” Sapphire said bitterly, but Brooke ignored her. “Well yeah I know him, I mean why?” She asked nervously rambling, she was afraid that if Elle knew, then a bunch of people knew. “Well because I heard from a little bird that he might possibly like you.” She said torturing her, smiling as her eyes got big. “Elle, details please!” She shrieked. I laughed, getting the attention shifted to me like always, but this time it was an accident. “Well Brooke, why don’t you give her a chance to get them first. I mean, she only became friends with him yesterday.” I said, not meaning to say it, and just trying to get them to back off, I didn’t want any of those guys near me until I knew that they thought I was pretty, even though they saw me without makeup. “Oh, then you should be careful around Elle now Brooke.” Sapphire said glaring at Elle. Oh great, thanks a lot Sapphire, hopefully she doesn’t carry this out. “What are you talking about Sapphire?” Brooke said, still oblivious as to why Sapphire hated Elle, we should really tell her, she is so out of this loop I feel bad. “Well if you’re mean to her she’ll steal your boyfriend, and it’s that much easier when they’re already friends. She’s a slut naturally, but if she’s not his friend at least it’s a challenge. But now you won’t stand a chance.” She said and Elle glared at her. I wonder where this is going, hopefully Elle can keep calm, she has been a lot less angry since Rye got here, maybe he’s tamed her anger. “Shut up, Sapphire.” Brooke defended her. “That’s enough, ok, enough.” She said glaring at Sapphire. Stupid Sapphire, trying to get revenge, she’s going to lose; this is such a stupid, kind of petty fight. Sapphire isn’t going to listen to Brooke though, if she continues, I’ll step in. “Easy for you to say, you weren’t the one.” Sapphire said, before I interjected. “Enough Sapphire.” I said, mean and serious for a moment, settling the fight. I was their queen bee, and if Sapphire doesn’t listen, she knows she will have to pay for it. I didn’t want to fight with her later so I said, “We can’t have this constant fighting when we’ve got a dance to plan,” instantaneously turning back into my normal self. “So, does that mean you’re helping Elle?” Brooke asked looking at Elle with a begging smile. “Oh, I don’t know. I’m not really a dance girl.” She said, trying to worm her way out, but it was too late Brooke had her pinned, which meant if I jumped in she had to. “Well, you have to help, because we need Rye to help because the only other guy helping is Jake.” I piped in; it was the truth besides we really needed his connections. “How do you know Rye will be back before the dance?” She asked. “Well I don’t, but if he is.” I started but I was soon cut off by Brooke. “Oh yeah, where is Rye anyway?” She asked innocently. “He’s at the hospital.” Elle said being as vague as possible. “What did you do now?” Sapphire asked, snottily speaking for the first time since being silenced by me. “I let him stay over to late, and he got hit by a car.” Elle said, starting in a big voice, but when she was finished speaking she was at a whisper. I feel like I should help comfort her, but she won’t admit that it wasn’t her fault. “Nice.” Sapphire said with a smirk. I wish she would shut up. “Is he okay?” Brooke asked a little pale from shock. “Well he says he is, but I don’t know.” She said, it is true, every guy tries to say he‘s fine whether he is or not. “Why does he like you? Or wait, did you stay home yesterday because he dumped you and you were crying all day.” Sapphire said bitterly, and everyone was silent as Elle took a deep breath, we kind of all knew that something like this would happen soon, but we hoped that Elle could keep her cool, I was confident that she could, she hadn‘t yet. “Or maybe you’ve convinced him it was his own fault, or maybe you’re blackmailing him. Yeah that’s it, I mean that’s the only reason someone would ever be with you.” She said sneering, but Elle just half smiled, and shook her head a little. “Look, I’m going to be honest with you. You had a reason to be angry, but after a while it just gets old. I’ll answer your questions though. I don’t know why Rye like’s me. We did get in a fight. So I dumped him, and got dragged back by one of his friends to make up with him. I was crying basically all day though. Actually, I believed it was my fault and was prepared to face the consequences of what happened, but he convinced me it wasn’t just me. He mainly blames himself, and the driver. I am tired of fighting aren’t you? I’m not going to waste my whole life planning revenge against someone. I’m tired of being looked at like I’m something to pity, okay? If you want to keep trying to fight me go ahead, but I’m letting you know from here on out I’m not sinking to your level. And this is proof because if I would’ve sunk to your level, I would have decked you just now. By the way, if you don’t forgive me you should forgive Ian.” Elle said, I’m so proud of her; she can finally keep her cool. Sapphire turned pink and I knew that it meant she was defeated, finally, maybe now she will get it through her thick skull that she can’t beat Elle, if she fights back. “Wow Elle, I’m proud of you.” Ian said appearing out of nowhere, and as a natural response I saw Elle hunch her shoulders close to her. He laughed gently, “Relax guys.” He said smiling towards all of us. “Hey Ian.” Everyone said, even Sapphire whispered it, but she was too shocked that he would be so close to her that she couldn’t speak at her full volume. “Hi Brooke, Aqua, Elle, Jake,” He said normally. “Sapphire and I don’t know the rest of you that well, so, sorry.” He said Sapphire’s name quietly, but I know that we could all hear it. He looked at Sapphire lovingly, but she was still in a lot of shock, partially from Elle and the rest that he even went further as to say her name. He just smiled at the rest of us. Some of the girls were shocked that Ian came up to Elle so casually, but I knew they were friends. He must have forgiven her for whatever it was he overreacted to in the hospital. “So then you’re over it?” She asked him looking up at his tan face, which was looking at Sapphire. “Hmm, well yes of course kiddo.” He said looking at Elle with a smile, he was still thinking about Sapphire though, probably judging when she would forgive him, or if he had to apologize first. I’m agitated now, I need to work on the dance and I do not want a bunch of lovey-dovey hugs and kisses, and apologies going around on my day. “Anyways, can we focus on the dance now?” I said, a little agitated. “Oh, yes your majesty, I’ll just be going then.” He said looking at me; he is going to pay for that one later. “See you later.” He said looking at Sapphire in a questioning way, but she made no reply, still in after-shock. “Right then, back to the entertainment issue, Elle we were thinking you could convince Rye to help us with that.” I said, smiling in a begging way. “Well…I can try.” She said as the smile on our faces grew. “Yes, so that means you’re helping?!” Brooke said, cornering her as she rolled her eyes. Then the bell rang and Elle went to her class while the rest of us went to cheerleading, well except Jake, but he was going to football. When I got there, I saw Josh, Jake’s brother there talking to some of the guys I saw at the hospital the other day. Wow, he is really cute, I mean wait I can’t think that, I’m dating his brother, I’m not single. Besides, Jake finally said I love you. The guys were being switched around today, so as soon as Jake was off of his drills I ran over there, and left the rest of girls cheering for the others, it was cold outside so most of us were in hoodies, but I forgot to get mine back from him. “Hey.” He greeted me, smiling at my shivering. “Hey, where’s your hoodie, I’m freezing out here.” I asked, frozen, it was only like 58 today. “Do you really need it, or are you only cold because you’re in your cheerleading skirt?” He asked, what is he not cold? All I know is I’m freezing. “I’m really, truly freezing.” I told him honestly. “Ok, you know which bag is mine.” He told me, sighing. “Yes, thanks Jake. When you leave though, I’m going to have to pretend to have been giving you a pep talk.” “Ok, but first, I love you.” He told me, melting into his un-walled self. “I love you to.” I told him, melting him further, then the coach called his mini team back onto the field, and Josh’s team came over. “Remember! Positive outcomes only!” I shouted, as if I even believed it. “Hey Aqua.” The guys greeted me, I didn’t even know them all, wow I’m awesome, older guys even have heard of me. “Hey guys, I’m sorry I don’t know all of your names.” I told them. “I’m Josh.” Josh teased me; I just rolled my eyes at him. “I’m Matt; I was in the hospital the other day, when you came to visit Rye.” He said, so he was the one who Brooke liked, what a cutie pie, they would be such a cute couple. “I’m Danny.” Some really tall guy said, and the rest of them introduced themselves, except for this really mysterious guy. I had seen him in the hospital, but I’d never seen him talk. “And, your name.” I said, walking up to him and crouching so that I could see his face, his head was hung. Then he looked up, at my bubbly happy face. “I’m Joseph.” He told me, and then looked down. “Well then, nice to meet you all and I hope that you’re ready for the game tomorrow. All of us cheerleaders will be there to cheer you on.” I said smiling; I was playing the part of head cheerleader so that the coach wouldn’t be mad for wasting a practice day. “Well, we would be but Matt keeps getting distracted and can’t catch lately.” Josh said, picking on him. “Ok, then let me see your arm.” I said, pulling out a sharpie from my shoe, I always needed one, so I just carried one around during cheerleading. “Um, ok.” Matt said, holding out his arm. I wrote, catcher, on it so he would remember, then I put no going mental. “Out of sight, out of mind, in sight, in mind.” I told them, and then a few more problems were told to me, like Josh couldn’t focus and so I wrote, No going mental, Focus. “So, think you guys are ready for the game?” I asked them, turning back to my peppy self. “Yes.” They all said. “Who are we?” I chanted. “Tigers!” “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you who are we?” I shouted at them. “Tigers.” Then the coach pulled them out, and Jake’s team came back. “Positive outcomes only!” I shouted after them. Then, I ran over to the pile of bags and grabbed Jake’s, then ran over to the girls, it was time to go through his bag. “Ok, Brooke, you’ve done good, time for a break.” I said, showing her the bag I had. “Um, ok, girls you can take turns taking breaks, and then doing drills.” She said, quickly dividing them into two and picking one to start out, as she realized what we were going to do. “Ok, so what do we have here?” She asked, curious, she still didn’t know whose bag it was. “Jake’s bag, I’m supposed to only get his hoodie, but if he knows me, and I’m pretty sure he does, then he knows I’m going to snoop.” I told her, and she nodded, helping me unzip his stuffed bag. “Ok, we have a lot of trash, oh wait, these are notes! Score!” I said, taking out a pile, and then a glass bottle, I wondered what it was. “Wow, he has a lot of notes, no wonder he doesn’t get any A’s.” Brooke said, going through his bag, seeing if there were any more for us to read. “I found his cologne, it smells really good, I’m going to spray his hoodie before I steal it.” I said, spraying it down so I could smell like it. “Ok.” She said, distracted by Matt. “You know, you should really take charge and just ask him out for yourself.” I told her. “No, I think that he’ll ask soon.” She said, and then she went to switch teams, and take over for Ashley. I took it as an opportunity to read the notes I had in a pile. I opened one, and started reading, it was to Rye. When are you going to say it dude? I told Elle on our first date, you can say it. Rye wrote him, he has really nice handwriting for a dude. I don’t know, I don’t know if she’ll say it back. Yes, she will, just do it. How would you know? Because, she tells Elle and she tells me, but she doesn’t know everything, but she does know that. Ok, but I don’t know, what if she thinks I’m lame, none of her relationships have ever been very committed. I know, but she’s not going to dump you. Then the note ended, they probably got caught, or started a new page. Then I opened another, it was to me, but I know that I never got it. Aqua, I love you, I don’t know if you’ll say it back but I do, and I need to say it. I know that a lot of people think we shouldn’t be together but I really like you and there are ten reasons why: 1. Your beautiful, even without your makeup, it doesn’t make a difference. 2. Your good at everything you do, even if it’s not you best thing, like Science, you still have an A in there and you say it’s your hardest subject 3. Beneath your shell, you’re really sweet; you’re always helping people who need it 4. Your honest, you always tell me what you can. 5. You can mean when you need to, you think you need someone to help you defend yourself but you really don’t your perfect at it 6. Your elegant, even if you don’t know it, everything you do is graceful, your walk, your talk, everything 7. You take my breath away, and I love it 8. Even if we weren’t dating, I could still love you 9. Your forgiving, you are willing to forgive and forget anything 10. You like me back, and that’s worth more than anything So I hope that you see why I like you, and just know I love you. The letter was recent, and I almost cried reading it, that was so sweet, and I felt guilty. I break people’s hearts, and even though I know that I won’t for a long time, I know that I will eventually. He really shouldn’t love me like this. Then the Brooke pointed to her watch, telling me that we only had ten minutes left in class, so I shoved his notes back in (except the one I just read), and shoved his cologne in there to. Then, when his team was on the field, I ran over to the pile and put his on top, and then I ran into the locker room and changed, running back outside, only taking three of my ten. The rest of the girls went to change, but the guys had to stay until the bell rang, throwing the balls around, some stupid freshman mouthed off to the coaches. I ran over to Josh, I wanted to see how my strategy worked. “So,” I said, raising my brows quizzically. “So, oh, yes it worked, everyone was on top of their game.” He told me, guessing at what I was getting at. “Yay, I told you it would work.” I smiled up at him. “Well, you know how us guys are. If a girl we barely know, and a blonde head-cheerleader one to, comes up and starts writing stuff on our arm, we’re going to think she’s crazy.” He teased me, laughing. “Ha ha, I’m just glad it worked, you know football players, their skull is too thick to remember to look at their own arm.” I got him back. “Oh, well, aren’t you the little trooper.” He said, emphasizing the crouch to pat me on the back. “At least I’m not a giant,” I emphasized by jumping up just to reach his shoulder, which I could have reached just standing. “Ok, truce.” “Good, but I won.” “No, you didn’t.” “Yes, I did.” “Whatever, you keep thinking that. It was a truce though, so technically no one won.” “And you keep thinking that.” I said, clearly winning. Then Jake ran up. “What are you guys up to?” He asked, putting his arm around me and staring at his brother. “Nothing bro, just talking.” He said, in an innocent voice, his eyes getting wide. “You didn’t think we were doing anything, did you?” He tortured him. “Of course not.” He said, trying to keep it in, I could tell, he was extremely jealous. He really shouldn’t be so defensive, it would break him further then if I would dump him when he was only beginning to let his walls down, but I still like him too much for that. Then the bell rang and Jake went to change, before he was late, and I grabbed my stuff and left for History. By the time it was lunch, I had almost forgotten about what I read. We all grabbed our salads and headed for the table. To my surprise, Elle was actually there, me and Brooke sat on either side of her. Jake sat across from me, and Ashley across from Brooke and then Sapphire across from Elle. I saw Elle look around for her friends before eating again, but I saw someone that I didn’t want to see walking towards her. James really needs to leave her alone. Everyone knew I hated him, after the way he treated me so they all got quiet when he came and put his hand on her shoulder. She got a really big smile; she must have been expecting Matt or someone, poor thing. “Hey.” She said, getting up, and I saw her disappointment that it was only James. “You can sit at my table if you want.” He said noticing the unsure look on her face, the girls were gawking at the fact that he was over here, and then even further at the fact that he just invited Elle to sit with him, I glared up at him. Jake was tense when he came, most likely wondering if I would go back to him, but then he relaxed at the sight of me staring daggers at him. “That’s nice, but.” She never got to finish because the girls were even more amazed to see Josh, a senior, finish her sentence. Well, let’s just every problem I have come up and start talking to my sister, that’s just great. The guy that I hate likes my sister, and I don’t know how to tell her to stay away from him, and now Josh the guy that makes me doubt Jake comes, that’s just peachy. “But she has someone better to hang out with.” Josh said taking her hand, and helping her up gracefully. But before she could apologize to the girls about him, Sapphire went crazy for a minute. “You are such a slut!” She exclaimed, and Elle stared daggers at her. Then she picked up her tray and put her hand on his arm. “I’ll see you guys later.” She said giving us a smile, she had followed Josh’s calm example, and Sapphire was stunned that she didn’t start a fight, but she under-estimated my sister, she was a lot stronger than a lot of people took her for. Then I drifted off to my thoughts, I wonder if Jake knows the story of me and James, our breakup song was Cold as You by Taylor Swift. I wonder though if he really knows that I kind of like his brother, but it doesn’t matter, it’s just a crush anyway, at least I’m pretty sure it is, no it is, I really need to stop arguing with myself. I felt guilty for thinking to myself and not listening to the girls, but I heard Brooke tell them that I had a lot going on and had to focus on the dance while they talked and I was happy she did, and then I thought of that day in my freshman year when James and I broke up. “You know, Jenna’s really hot to.” He told me. “And really all your friends.” He said, flipping through my photos. “Oh, I know why do you think I hang out with them?” I teased, but he didn’t laugh. “I was serious.” “I know.” “So, shut up.” He glared at me; he didn’t want my opinion on what I said. “You can’t just make me shut up; I’m not your little sister butting into your business all the time.” “Well, I don’t need your opinion, so you need to shut up, like I said.” He spat at me, he always treated me like this every day for every six days we had been dating, all he wanted was what he wanted and he didn’t care about the rest. I was tired of it; this had to end before he made me cry. “We need to break up.” I told him. “Fine, but could you give me Jenna’s number?” He asked, not caring about what I had said. “No, in fact, I can’t get you any of the girls’ numbers. Just stop talking to me.” “My pleasure, have a nice life without me, you’ll be sorry.” He said, patting my shoulder as if he felt bad for me, like I was an orphan or something, except it actually hurt. I got up and left then cried my heart out to Cold as You playing on repeat. I hadn’t realized the bell had rang until Jake dumped my tray and then came back with my stuff and tapped on my shoulder. “Time to go, Aqua. Are you okay?” He asked, wiping a tear from my eye. “Yeah, I’m fine.” We left for class, and the rest of the day went fine. At the final bell, Elle met me at the bus stop. “Where are you going?” I asked her. “I’m going home, then to the hospital.” She said, like it was obvious. “No, you have to help with the dance this week, remember?” I laughed, and she groaned. “Fine.” She said bitterly. “Oh Elle, cheer up.” I said nudging her, it worked and she smiled. “Hey girls.” Brooke greeted us. “Hey.” I said in reply. Then Jake and Matt showed up, quickly followed by Sapphire, James, Ashley, Chloe, and Anna. “Well, we are all here so let’s get planning.” I said, officially starting the meeting. We made a list of who was bringing what and then divided into teams for different jobs. Me, Sapphire, and Elle were mainly in charge of décor stuff. Matt, Jake and Brooke were food. Chloe and James were on banners and invites. Ashley and Anna gave a little bit of help with everything. The group pitching our idea of under the stars dance to the principal was made up of me because I’m bubbly, Brooke because she’s decisive and informative, and Matt to prove guys would like it too. After that James treated us all for coffee, he really wanted to try and get Elle to go for him. We went to our normal place, and without Josh’s protection James sat next to Elle. I saw him put his arm around her and say something, but she told him off a bit for it, then she went outside and he followed, she could handle him, I hoped. Then Elle came in, she looked uneasy about something, but I didn’t ask. I would later though, but right now I was very busy, I only had a couple of days to do this, and I was worried about what I would do with Jake. “I’m going to go see how everyone is doing and how far they’ve gotten.” I told them, and then I left. “Matt, how is the food coming?” I asked, before he could say anything, Brooke spoke for him. “I don’t know, he’s such a pig. I have to eliminate half of the nasty stuff he comes up with. For example, chili dogs with everything? This is a dance not a hillbilly, who can clog their arteries faster contest.” She ragged on him, trying to hold in the laughter as I saw him shake his head. “Well, you should hear what she comes up with. Tiny sandwiches and the healthy kind? Who would eat those?” He said, and I couldn’t help it, I laughed, he didn’t even realize that normal people ate those at parties. “What?” He asked, looking confused, making Brooke join in the laughter at his confusion. “You know, that’s what so many people have at their parties’ right? It’s totally normal.” I said, trying to recover from the laughter. “Really?” “Yes. That’s why you always see them in movies.” “Oh, so then, foot longs aren’t appropriate for the dance?” He asked, making me laugh, he was serious. “No, where did you learn to think like that about food?” Brooke asked, shaking her head, a look of amazement on her face. “Well, I’m going to just let Brooke be in charge, which means she can terminate anything she wants.” I said, holding back giggles as he looked at me with a what? expression. “Fine, but she can’t terminate it if it’s actually good to ‘normal’ people right?” “Right. I’m checking on other people now, so good luck Brooke.” I winked at her, knowing that she would know I meant more than just the food. Then I went to sit with Jake, who had subtly left them alone, and went to a different table with a paper and pen. “You look alone.” I said, surprising him as he turned to see who it was. “Oh, well, you know me and Matt are like brothers so I just left him alone to work his magic.” He was serious, and for the second time today I laughed at the guy stupidity that seemed to be going around. “What?” He asked. “Oh, nothing, except, what magic? He doesn’t have any skills, it’s just chance that Brooke finds him funny.” “No, it’s not.” “Yeah, it is. He is just himself and he gets her smiling, no magic involved.” “Well, is it that way with me?” He asked, looking at me, studying my face, poor Jake. I saw him get excited. “No, you had to use your skills to convince me, but you didn’t have many.” “Then why did you say yes?” “Well, at first you were just amusing, the way you scrambled to give me reasons to date you. Then, I started thinking about your hair, then your personality and decided that I did like you. Once I did, it just kind of grew enough for me to say yes. At first I thought it would be a game, then after time went on, it wasn’t.” “Wow, so you like me more than your other boyfriends?” “Of course, I wouldn’t have said I love you if I didn’t. I mean I told all twenty of them that but I didn’t mean it, there wasn’t even a spark when they said it, not even a butterfly. I would have done anything to get some of those relationships to last but I knew they wouldn’t so I ended them, most of the time hurting them. But I’m mean if you didn’t notice, so I didn’t really care. I guess in a way Taio Cruz’s Break Your Heart is the song of my love life, except I’ve never had anyone not care, and I guess I never told them in advance.” “So, do you think that will happen with us?” “I don’t know, but as far as I can see, no. You would have to say something to really peeve me off, like insult me or my family.” “Ok, I’ll try not to then.” “Good job, you’re learning.” I teased him. “Good job, Mrs. Alaverez you’re a good teacher.” He teased back. “Well, thank you.” I thanked him, I could see that it threw him off to thank him and take his insult as a compliment. “Come on, were dancing.” “What? No we’re not.” “Yes we are.” He told me, getting up and winking at Matt, who got up and then turned on the music getting Brooke to dance with him. “I guess you guys can take a break, and dance.” I called, and everyone got up to dance, except Elle, but I knew she wouldn’t want to unless Rye was there. I just sat down, stubbornly not dancing, and then Jake pulled me up and spun me around, settling the subject. “Jake, let me sit down.” I said, and it shocked him, he thought he had completely settled it, and so his grip loosened and I just took it as an opportunity to walk away to work on the details. Then, I felt someone’s arm wind around me and stop me, then spin me, the arm acting as a restraint, and I laughed. “Jake, let me go.” I said laughing as he pulled me closer and spun us away from everyone, no one noticed, they were having fun with themselves, laughing and chatting. “You really are stubborn,” he whispered. “I know, but I have walls.” “I know. I’m going to break them you know.” “You are?” I said, surprised at how fierce he said it, oh god, now I really feel guilty for thinking about his brother. No wonder he was so jealous of his brother. I wondered if he did this with all his girlfriends, I’m probably just another one to steal. I’m not going to think about him anymore though; I like Jake way more than him, especially thinking about that. “Yes, or at least I’m going to try anyway.” He interrupted my thoughts with his response. “Keep trying.” I told him as he spun me around and around. His smile faded as they turned off the music, and he walked me back, lost in his thoughts. “Ok, everybody, good work. I’m going to collect your lists and ideas and go through them. Once I make the final decisions, we can work on making this the best first dance of the year in history!” I said cheerily, and the girls shouted their agreement, and of course Matt did to, he just wanted to agree with Brooke. Everybody left, except for me, Elle and Jake. The karaoke was still plugged in and I smiled, Jake hadn’t heard me sing yet. So I ran over with Elle, and looked at the CD in the slot, it was Taylor Swift, so I plugged in the microphone. “Tell Jake to wait at a table.” I said, she just shook her head and went to tell him, smiling, and he I saw him took a seat and so I spoke into the microphone. “This one is for you guys.” I said, even though the shop was pretty much empty except for Elle and Jake. Then I drifted into song, singing Fearless. Once I was done, Jake got up and clapped truly astounded at my voice. “That was amazing.” He complimented me as I got down off the stage, and hugged me tightly. “I love you.” “I love you to.” I said back, kissing him and then pulling away, Elle was there and I didn’t want her to feel to awkward. When I got home, there was a new perfume on the doorstep, which I picked up before Elle saw me. What the? It’s addressed to me, but it says from anonymous and the note says This is my favorite scent on you, I hope you appreciate the extra perfume, wear it if you want. That’s not weird; it was the Beyoncé perfume I had only worn twice this year. Weird. I wondered who could have sent it to me as I went upstairs, but then I stopped to film an outfit of the day and a back to school haul video for my channel, even though it was almost half way into the school year. Once I had edited the stupid scenes and bloopers out, uploaded it and everything, I went to eat dinner, which was grilled chicken (because it’s more healthy). Then I sang and practiced some cheers, and then I took a shower and went to bed. Chapter 8: An Interesting Day When I woke up, I had a good feeling about the day. I curled my hair in soft curls, and then I got dressed in some jeans and a button up, plaid, white and black shirt. For breakfast I had some cereal again and then I slipped on some cute ankle boots, grabbed my stuff and headed for the bus stop with Elle. When I got to school, all my friends were waiting for me, and I mean everyone. “Hey girls!” I said cheerily. “Hey Aqua.” They smiled back, there were even guys there and they were all smiling at me. “So, what’s up?” I asked, wondering what was up with everyone being there and smiling to. “Well, we were just wondering…” Jenna started, then Brooke cut her off and finished. “..If you would sing at the game, everyone wants you to. Before you ask, at the beginning you sing, and you sing the national anthem and a song of your choice, just to get everyone ready to go.” She finished, smiling, oh, I get it they’re all here to see if I will or not. “Sure, that sounds really fun. I just need some dancers.” I said, and Brooke, Jenna, and two guys I didn’t know that well volunteered. “Ok then, we’re all set.” I agreed fully and then told them what dance we were doing. “Ok, so the invites are perfect, I love the design, you guys will have to get them though, here’s the money for it, which should cover everything. The food was almost fine, but it was a little too fancy for a school dance, I mean I love the idea of caviar but most people won’t go for it. Everything else was fine, so here’s the money.” I said, surprised at how little planning the dance took, handing one person from each of the groups the wad of cash for it. The school hadn’t given us all that money but Sapphire had a lot of money, and she wanted the dance to truly be the best we had ever had besides prom so she got her Dad to donate like a thousand dollars. The day passed quickly and nothing really happened, until I got to the game. When I had changed into my performing dress, I went onto our tiny little stage they had set up for me and waited to be introduced. “Ok tigers! Your intro act is truly going to be a perfect performance. We will have the national anthem, as it is traditional, and then Change by Taylor Swift. The performer is a wonderful girl, who is..” The freshman introducing me meant it as a dramatic pause, but I took it as an opportunity. “Me.” I jumped out from behind her, and the whole crowd knew who I was and cheered. Then the band played the background music for the national anthem which I sang, getting much applause for, and then it was my time to really shine. I started to sing, just after my little introduction to the song, waiting for them to get it to the right track in the giant boom box. “I find this song really important, and I hope that you guys like it. I’m going to sing my best and I hope that in turn you will cheer our players on as good as possible. Go tigers!” I said into the microphone, getting a huge roar from the crowd and smiles from some players, then I started singing and it was like I was at an actual Taylor Swift concert. When I finished, the crowd cheered like I had never heard anyone cheer, then they demanded an encore and so the principle nodded his agreement, and I took a risk and sang a song I had wrote. “This is a song I wrote, and it’s called U and Me. I hope you guys enjoy it.” I smiled, and then I was handed a guitar, so I sang acoustic. I was even more surprised when the crowd cheered even more loudly then they had before and I felt like a celebrity. I was stunned when people threw flowers on the stage, when I got off the stage I thanked the crowd and then went into the locker room, put on a head microphone and changed into my cheer uniform. “Are you ready?” I asked the crowd, skipping out of the locker room, the rest of the cheerleaders following. I cheered and did all my special flips. During half time, I took off the head set so I could go give the team a pep talk. “Ok Tigers! We are winning, but does that mean we stop trying?” “No!” “Well then, I don’t see you sweating! We have to play these Hornets for all they’re worth.” I told them, putting on my best smile. “Who are we?” “Tigers!” “Who are we going to beat?” “Hornets!” “And who are we again?” I shouted. “Tigers!” They shouted, then the coach called them back into the game and I smiled and shouted after them, “Positive outcomes only!” At the end of the game I flipped off our pyramid and then jogged to the dressing room. When I got out, I was stopped by a guy, and then I recognized him as the guy who introduced himself as Danny yesterday. “Hey Aqua, I was wondering if you could go with me to the movies this Friday?” He asked me, smiling like he had a chance, some people still hadn’t heard that I was taken. “Sorry, but I have a boyfriend so I can’t. Maybe when I’m single.” I told him, he looked disappointed but he just shook it off and walked away. I was going to congratulate the guys on winning by so much, but then I was stopped by a freshman that I didn’t know. “Hi. First, I want to say that you were great on stage, but I was told to give you these.” He said, holding out a bouquet of a dozen red roses. “I was also told to tell you that the person who gave you these was the same one who gave you the perfume.” He said, as I took them. “Thank you.” I said, bewildered at who gave them to me. Then I walked up to the guys reading the note on the roses, From someone closer than you think, because you’re as delicate and beautiful as a rose. How sweet. When I got to the guys, Jake was staring at the roses, but his close friends, including his brother were just smiling. “Where did those come from?” He asked, looking around jealously for the culprit. “I don’t know, it says anonymous, and a freshman, who didn’t even know who I was until tonight, delivered them. I like them though.” I said, wondering who delivered them, and why the guys were smiling, and the guys patted Josh on the shoulder, but I passed that off as them congratulating him for a good game. “Oh, well that’s weird.” He said, looking confused on who could have sent them to me. “I know right?” I agreed, but then I turned to the rest of the team. “Congrats, everyone! I hope the next game is as great as this one was.” I congratulated them, smiling at the remembrance of my performance. “Well, we couldn’t have done it without our head cheerleader, writing our problems on our arms.” Josh said, his voice dripping with thanks. Jake’s eyes tightened, but he didn’t say anything. “Well, you know it’s kind of my job, but you’re welcome.” I smiled, making the guys laugh at my fake modesty. “See you all.” I ended our little congrats party, and all the guys said bye back. Jake wanted to stay with the guys, so I walked to my car on my own. When I got home, I took a fast shower, careful not to wake Elle; it was around eleven at night. Chapter 9: The day Rye comes back When I woke up in the morning, after I got dressed and did everything I usually did, it was just in time for Elle to wake up. As I walked to her room, it dawned on me, Josh sent me that stuff, he was especially enthusiastic when I came over, and when he saw I liked them. Good Morning, I love you! I texted Jake and he responded with the same. Another thing is Rye will be here! That’s cool, I mean for Elle and his, friends, I guess. I opened the door waking her up. “Yes?”, she asked, curious. “It’s time to get up!” I squealed running to her closet. “What’s going on?” She asked, trying to hide her curiousness with an attempted normal face. “Nothing, why would you ask?” I said, smiling, and I knew it was a lame lie but I didn‘t care, Josh liked me, even if I couldn‘t do anything about it. “Well, because you seem really happy for no apparent reason.” She said pointing out how bad my lie was. “Nothing, I promise. I’m just in a good mood. Well also, Jake said I love you this morning which makes me smile.” I said sighing happily. I got her a peach, knee-high, neck tie dress, and a white, elbow length jacket. I was dressed in red, one-sleeved dress with another pair of red pumps, and a matching white shrug. I felt very loving that day, and wanted to show it with what I wore. I wanted everyone to look good, especially her; I mean she had her boyfriend coming back today, as I found out from the nurse on Tuesday. “No, you don’t get to curl my hair.” She said stubbornly. “Please, Elle, it looks so pretty curled.” I begged. After about ten minutes of pleases she gave in. Once we got on the bus, everyone was complimenting me on the performance I did last night. When I got off the bus, I winked at Rye, telling him that I had made Elle look extra pretty. “Rye!” She squealed, and then ran and jumped into his open arms. He twirled her around once before setting her down. She stretched on my tip toes to grab his face, and pull it to hers, I didn‘t hear what they said, but I know I heard something about how I kept her from seeing him, and smiled. Then I saw her bury her face in his chest. “Elle, what’s wrong?” He asked worried. “Nothing, I just missed you is all.” She lied; I could always tell when she was lying to him. “Elle, don’t lie to me, what happened?” He said pulling her from him, and she sighed. “I sort of cheated on you.” She sobbed, and his face dropped. “Well, I get the feeling that’s not the whole story.” He said sadly. She blurted out something, trying to get it out as fast as possible, so I couldn’t hear what she said, but I knew it had to do with James. “Elle, he won’t touch you again. I promise.” He said, and James approached them, not noticing me. “So Elle have you made your choice?” James said, and I felt like someone had punched me, I hated that he liked anyone; he was hurting people I cared about and that hurt me. “Leave Elle alone. She doesn’t like you. So don’t talk to her or you’ll regret it.” He shoved James. He’d kept one arm around Elle the whole time, but his one armed push still shoved James back a few feet, well, we know who’s going to win this fight. “Rye.” Elle started to protest him fighting when James punched Rye while he was looking at her. “Cheap shot!” She screamed. I felt someone grab my waist, and Josh pulled me away. I screamed at them, I don’t want Rye hurt, for Elle. At least, I think it’s for Elle. “Stop, let me go.” I said, crying a little. “Shh, it’s okay Aqua. Rye can handle him, and he won’t bug whoever he was bugging again. If he bugs you though, you don’t have anything to worry about.” He told me, using one hand to wipe my tears away. He saw the mistake in what he said, and quickly changed it. “I mean, Elle to. And, I’d only be helping Jake.” I just nodded, but I wanted to be let go. “Let me go Josh. Let me go.” I meant more than I said but I kind of meant more than that, I didn’t want to break Jake’s heart; he didn’t hear my double use though. Then Jake walked up. “It’s ok Aqua, nobody is going to get hurt, and if you care about James for some reason I can get Rye to stop. Do you want me to?” “No, I want him to leave, but if Rye gets hurt Elle will have problems again and I need her to be happy, otherwise I’ll never be happy.” It was half-truth and half lie, I wanted her to be happy but I wanted him to be ok for me a little to, wait, what? I can’t want him to be ok for me, that’s wrong. “Ok, well the fight is over now, so go on. Josh let her go.” He commanded, I looked up and I could see for a second that he didn’t want to but he did. Then we all rushed over to where they were. “Why did you fight him Rye?” Josh asked, getting straight to the point. “It’s not my reason to tell, it’s hers.” He said, motioning to Elle, and rubbing his knuckles. “What happened?” Jake asked. “Well, I don’t really want to say.” She said, looking down to escape our eyes. We begged for a few minutes, but Rye wasn’t having it. “She’ll tell you when she’s ready. So leave her alone.” He said ending our begging. “Tell me Elle.” I said earning a dirty look from Rye, but I didn’t care I deserved to know, I was her sister. “Ok. Sapphire told James I liked him, so when he started flirting and I said I didn’t like him, he thought I was playing hard to get. Anyways, he kissed me so I’ve been sort of hiding from him.” She said, looking at the ground. “Damn it Elle. Why didn’t you tell me when it started? I would have made him leave you alone.” Josh said running his hands through his hair, hot, I mean, where did that come from? “Or at least I would have got to thrown a punch in.” He said, and we all agreed. “Wait, how do you know it was Sapphire?” Ian said suspiciously. “Because one, who else would do that, and she was giving me satisfied smirks.” She said, but before he could protest I interrupted. “Now I understand why you were so uneasy. Elle you should have told me I’m your sister.” I said unhappily, I had to do something and I could’ve ended it, because even though Rye thought it would, getting beat up wouldn’t stop him. “Well, I didn’t want any fighting.” She said, defending herself. “Well, either way he won’t be messing with you anymore. Who knows maybe he’ll transfer schools out of fear.” Josh said as James slinked away. “Hopefully.” She mumbled, as me and Jake left to confront him, why does he have to always be there, it makes me feel guilty, I like him being there but it makes me feel really guilty. I walked up to James, and I flipped my hair, as I do when I’m confronting someone. “James, I need to talk to you.” “Maybe later.” He said, looking at his friends. “I don’t think so; I think it needs to be right now.” I said, glancing at Jake, making him agree uneasily. When we had walked a good distance from everyone, I started. “Listen to me James; you need to leave my sister alone. If you do anything to her again, you’re going to pay for it. You do anything to any of my close friends or me and you will pay for that to.” I growled at him. “And if I don’t?” “If you see my boyfriend here, he is as strong as Rye, and if he isn’t available all those guys over there are ten times stronger, so unless you want to, I don’t know, die, then I would listen.” I told him, pointing at the guys. “Do you understand?”, he didn’t respond so I said it again. “I said do you understand?” I said, menacingly, he was glaring but I knew he was about to agree when Elle walked up. “Aqua, that’s enough. He’s already had a rough day, just leave him alone.” She said stepping in between us. “Just making sure he got the message.” I said harshly, glaring at her, she doesn‘t know what he‘s capable of, the last day of our relationship wasn‘t even the worst, I wish she knew so she would understand me more. “He does, so leave him alone. Do you understand? No more tormenting him, besides it’s not his fault.” She said, meaning for it to be the end, but I’m stubborn and that wasn’t going to happen. “No Elle. You are not my boss. I’ll teach him a lesson, and you’ll deal with it. He deserves it for what he did to you.” I said glaring at her. “Look, I know I’m not your boss, but I’m the one he kissed. So if I can get over it you can. It’s not like he raped me or mugged me or something. He doesn’t deserve to be punished for ignorance.” She said a little sharply, but she was still very calm. “Why are you defending him?” I said as Rye started walking away from the group towards us. “Because, he doesn’t deserve this, he may be a low life scumbag, but if anyone is going to punish him it would be me. So just drop it.” She said bitterly glaring at me. She doesn’t get it, she thinks she’s right but I know what he does to girls, he has a thick skull so it’s going to take a while for him to get the message, at least three people need to tell him, otherwise he won’t believe her. “What’s going on here?” Rye asked me. “I was simply warning James here to leave Elle alone, and she came over and started defending him.” I said bitterly staring at the way she defended him. “What the hell Elle! Do you like him?” Rye said, obviously jealous of James, idiot. “No, but why should he be punished for being misled. This is why I wasn’t going to tell you, because I knew you would be like this. You’re always overreacting. I can handle some things. Yes, I am glad you hit him, but he doesn’t need to be tormented still. He already has a black eye to prove he lost, so he doesn’t deserve to have no friends as well because it wasn’t his fault.” She said taking short sharp breaths. “Thanks Elle, I knew you’d make the right choice.” James said slapping her butt, and she ran forward into Rye’s arms. “Bad idea.” Rye said cracking his knuckles, but this time Jake stepped forward too, as well as Josh, Matt, and Ian who’d ran over seeing the fight starting, you could feel the tension, why does everyone have to jump into this, it doesn‘t have anything to do with half of them, they‘re kind of like a family I guess. Sapphire had ran over with Ian, and I saw her blush when he turned, gently nudging her back. Brooke stayed a few feet away watching Matt, aw how cute, she‘s worried about him. “Remember what Elle said no fighting.” James said, backing away slowly. “Elle do I have permission?” Rye said not looking at her but he was obviously still mad. “Do your worst.” She said, probably pushed past her limit. Me, Sapphire, and Elle watched as James was hit, and on the ground. “Stop.” Elle said what the hell? Then the guys stepped back. “Get lost.” Elle said menacingly, a group of kids had gathered, and they fled at her words, most likely scared of the big guys around her, obviously defenders at her order. She bent down and started talking to him, “You won’t torment another girl like this, get it. If someone says they don’t like you, be a gentlemen and understand no means no.” She said, standing up grimly. Rye was staring daggers at her. “What?!” She exclaimed at him. “Nothing, I just thought you’d be a little more grateful is all.” He said shrugging it off, and Ian, Matt, and Sapphire left. “Grateful? You’re right; I should be on the ground worshiping you for saving me. Anyone could have done that.” She said bitterly, great another fight, and I’m probably going to have deal with this one. “Really, well let’s see, if it weren’t for me there’d be no one else.” He said just as bitter, why does he have to be so protective over her? It just bugs her. “If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have had this problem. If it weren’t for you, I could do what I wanted without supervision. I could ditch when I wanted or drive at night by myself without a lecture.” She said agitated. “Fine if life is so much simpler without me, I’ll leave it because apparently you need a break.” He shouted. “Well it’s nice to know two days wasn’t enough for you.” She shouted back. “It obviously wasn’t, because you’re such a royal pain!” He screamed angry. “Well, while you were at the hospital having fun with your buddies I was here being tormented because the person I loved wasn’t there, because some creep tried to seduce me. So thanks, yeah thanks a lot for caring.” She said quietly, tears running down her face, and it hurt him, great it’s official now, complete with hurt feelings. “Why don’t we all calm down, and just ditch? Okay, we need to celebrate Rye’s back.” I said, trying to improve the mood. “How long have you known he was going to be here today?” She said clearly mad that I knew and she didn‘t, oops. “Well, since, Tuesday.” I mumbled, the nurse had told me when I went to visit with Elle. “Tuesday?! Ditching sounds like a good idea, but wait am I allowed to Rye?” She said, mocking him. “What do I care?” He said like the stubborn jerk he was being. “Well I’ll go, but Rye won’t he’s too much of a goodie goodie.” She said, challenging him, why? Why does she have to continue this? “No. I’m going.” He said to annoy her. “Fine I’m glad.” She said calmly. “Well I’m glad you’re happy, that’s all I’ve been trying to do.” He said, and I hung my head disappointed I couldn’t fix it quickly like I wanted. “Anyone else coming?” I asked, but I saw Ian and Matt were already walking away. Elle started walking away, and Rye followed her, trying to beat her off campus. “I am, of course.” Jake smiled at me. “Well, there’s no point in me staying.” Joseph said softly, I wonder why he’s always so quiet and softer than the other guys. “I’ll come to.” Josh said, standing on the other side, where Jake wasn’t, of course you will, that’s great. “Well, Josh, that’s good, because you should walk up there with Elle and just keep an eye out in case, I don’t know, she kills Rye.” I told him, trying to get him away so things wouldn’t be so awkward. “I don’t want to, how about Joseph does?” He suggested, smiling, of course, of course Joseph can do it. “Ok, I’ll do it.” Joseph agreed, walking up there but staying a safe distance back. “So, what’s been up with you guys lately?” I asked, trying to distract Jake, who was glaring at his brother. “Nothing really, but I was wondering, do you like Tulips?” Josh asked me, and Jake stared at him, stunned. “Umm, they’re okay.” “Ok, how about white roses?” “Yeah, they’re my favorite.” I told him, I knew I couldn’t lie; besides it was just some flowers, right? “Good,” He said, pulling out his phone and Jake was still just glaring. “You like necklaces right? What about the key ones?” Jake asked, trying to top his brother. “Umm, you know I really don’t like getting gifts for no reason.” “Well, it’s almost our two month anniversary, so I guess I have a reason to get you, my girlfriend, a gift.” He said, looking at his brother when he emphasized the words. That’s awkward; I really hope the rest of the day isn’t like that. “Umm, yeah I guess so, but I have like three already.” I told him, not wanting to lie and get a fourth one, even though none were from him, I’d get confused on which was his. “Oh.” He said disappointedly while his brother’s smile grew as if he had won something. Why does every guy have to like me at the wrong times? “I hope they have good coffee don’t you guys?” I asked, trying to change the subject. “Yeah, maybe we can get the same thing.” They said at the same time, turning and glaring at each other. “Oh look we’re here. How depressing, well I have to fix Elle and Rye so I won’t be back for a few minutes.” I told them, hurrying to get to Elle and Rye, besides, I needed to fix them. I grabbed Elle by the arm and yanked her a few steps back. “You come with me, and you stay here.” I instructed. “With pleasure.” Rye said smartly, god he is so stupid. “No, I’m not finished yet.” She said pulling from me, I think you are. “The hell you are.” I said, but she knew I wouldn’t stop so she followed me to the bathroom, as soon as we got in there I blocked the doors. “You’re not leaving this room until you agree to apologize.” I said, stubborn as always. “Oh yeah, watch me.” She said, heading for the window. “Oh no you don’t.” I mumbled, tackling her. “Let me go.” She shouted, pushing me off her legs. “Not until you agree to apologize!” I shouted back. “No!” She said, biting my arm. I grabbed her by the shirt, and sat on her back, but she stood up and I jumped off. She used her hand to push me off, but I grabbed onto her arm, and wouldn’t let go. So she kicked me in the gut and I wrapped my body around my leg, and she dragged me to the window. So I stood, and pulled her to the ground. She was biting me when Jake opened the door. “Rye you’d better get in here. Now!” He shouted. “What, is she dead? Oh I guess not.” He said running to the door. “Don’t sound too happy.” Elle said sarcastically. He stuck his tongue out at her. “You’re so stupid.” She said. “Rye you need to apologize for being too protective.” I said, getting to the point before they got into it again. “Why should he apologize? Elle was acting ungrateful and kind of slutty.” Jake chimed in as Josh walked up. “I didn’t ask for your input.” I said bitterly, why can’t he shut up when he needed to? “Why haven’t you hit him?” She demanded an answer from Josh, what? No. What if Rye damaged his face, then what would I do? What if he beat up Rye, I don’t know what I would do at all then. Wait, why do I care about Rye? Duh, for Elle, silly me not remembering stuff. “Do you want me to hit him?” Josh asked her. “Yes, he deserves it, and you’re supposed to be my big brother.” She pouted. “Well okay, but are you sure?” He said lifting his arm, and stepping towards Rye. “She doesn’t mean it.” Rye said answering for her. “Yes I did.” She said, being stubborn. “Wait, never mind.” She said as Josh was about to strike. Then she walked into the coffee shops main room where Joseph was doing, what was he doing? “Told you she wouldn’t, she’s too weak because she loves me and my over protectiveness.” He said rudely. “No, I did it because I’m strong enough not to let it happen, and because I like your face. There were no other reasons. No love was involved.” She lied. “Liar!” Rye screamed at her, and she rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “Copycat that’s my thing.” He shouted. While they were shouting, I had been holding Josh’s arm, not realizing it until I looked down, oops, I immediately took it off, but I felt awkward while they were fighting, and I couldn’t think of what to say, so I leaned to Josh, who had his license. “Can you take me home? I don’t know what to do about this fight.” I whispered to him. “Sure. Let’s go.” He said, leading me to his car, wow, his car is a hummer! Score! I mean, did I just think that? I meant, umm, how bad for the environment! “Thanks a bunch, I hate having to take Tylenol and I was getting a headache in there.” I told him graciously. “No problem, I hope your head doesn’t hurt.” He said, worried, geez, why does he have to care? This is not fair, I want him to and I don’t at the same time, why do I have to have both feelings for him? Then Jake ran up, just as I was slipping into the passenger’s seat, oh great, this is going to be awkward. “What the hell Aqua? Why is Josh driving you?” He demanded, glaring at me, oh crap. “I just wanted to go home.” I lied, I hadn’t thought about who I was asking before I did. “I could have done it; I mean I’m your boyfriend.” He told me, still mad. “Well, your driving scares me.” I lied, but it was partially true, that counts for something right? “Josh drives faster than me!” He shouted, still mad, making me madder, what does he think that I had Josh drive me everywhere? How would I know if he drives faster than him? “Well how would I know, you won’t let me do anything with him and I haven’t drove with him, even before you decided to get jealous!” I shouted back, and he knew I was right so he calmed down a bit. “Fine, but I’m driving her Josh, give me the keys.” He said, still mad at his brother and holding out his hand, Josh was still out of the car. “No, you can come with if you want though.” Josh told him, he wasn’t going to give him the keys for anything, and I could see it. “Well, she’s my girlfriend, what were you doing with her anyway? Taking her for lunch, maybe thinking you could get her to cheat on me while you were at it?” He shouted at him. “No, I was just driving her home like she said. Besides, I wouldn’t have made her do anything she didn’t want to.” He said, making it sound like I would want to, I do, I mean, I wouldn’t as long as me and Jake were dating, I love Jake. “Whatever give me the keys!” He shouted at him, I wondered if he realized that he was the only one shouting. “No, it’s my car.” He told him walking to the driver’s side. “Fine, but I’m coming with you guys.” He said getting in the back, as soon as we were all in the car, he turned to me. “Why are you in the front?” He asked, pouting because he lost. “I just like the front better is all. You can be in the front if you want.” I told him, kind of lying about the first part; I really wanted to sit next to Josh. “No, that’s fine; I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” He said, bitter. “That’s ok; you can have it if you want.” I told him, trying to ease the tension. “No, he doesn’t want it, besides; no one wants you to be uncomfortable.” Josh said, grinning at me. “Ok” I mumbled, looking out the window for a distraction, “hey, look at those flowers! Aren’t they so pretty?” I asked them, pointing at some daisies. “Sure, but I can think of something prettier.” They said at the same time, as Josh started driving, they both glared at each other. Man, every distraction just makes them fight harder. “How about we listen to some music?” Jake suggested, pulling a CD out of some sort of CD holder in the backseat, and handing it to Josh. I read the title as Josh put it in; it was Taylor Swift’s new Speak Now album. Mine started playing, and I smiled. Jake and Josh started singing it, and when she said mine, they both looked at me, and then thrust a dirty look at each other. “We really don’t have to listen to music if you guys don’t want to.” I assured them, I didn’t see any flowers to distract them with. “You’re allowed to like music Aqua, besides you probably just want us to stop singing, we’re probably horrible at it.” He smiled at me, they weren’t though, well Jake was mediocre and Josh seemed more like a background singer. “Well, you guys were pretty fair, so don’t beat yourself up to bad.” I smiled at him. “Well, I only play guitar.” “I’m only a background singer.” Josh interjected, not wanting us to talk on our own for too long obviously. “You should sing for us.” Jake suggested. “Yeah, you’re really good; everyone wanted you to sing more at the game.” Josh agreed, so I nodded and sang Mine. When I was done, they both had a huge smile on their faces. “Anyone could listen to you sing all day, you know.” Jake complimented me. “Agreed.” Josh said. Then I got distracted, we had only been going around the block a bunch of times and I saw Joseph standing outside when he was supposed to be inside, making sure Elle didn’t kill Rye! “Park here, I would go home, but our supervisor isn’t doing his job.” I told him, Josh nodded and parked in the parking spot in front of Joseph. Me and Josh got out of the car, but I stopped him to talk to Joseph. “What the heck? You’re supposed to be watching them.” I told him, I had meant to yell but something about him was too soft for me to. “Well, they got to loud so I left.” “They’re fighting; of course they’re supposed to be loud. What if Elle has killed Rye? Then what am I supposed to do?” “Again, they got too loud so I left. I shouldn’t have to deal with it.” He said, still calm, I felt bad for accusing him though; he was like a really soft big brother that I just couldn’t yell at. When I walked inside, I saw Elle about to throw some seemingly hot coffee on Rye. “Don’t you dare throw that.” I said walking closer. “I was going to drink it, not throw it.” She said, starting to lift it to her lips. “Liar she told me she was going to throw it!” Rye tattled. “No one likes a tattle tale.” Josh said. “Where’s Jake?” I asked. “Outside with Joseph.” Josh said, and I sighed, did he just want me to cheat on him? Why is he so mad, he was there the whole time. Oh, now I know, I didn’t tell or ask him to come inside with me, I assumed he would, so he’s probably waiting for me to notice. “You big baby.” She said lifting the cup again. Then noticing all the witnesses, she lifted it to her lips. “Ew it’s black!” She shrieked. “I mean yummy black.” She covered. “You don’t have to drink it.” Josh said and she sighed relieved, putting it down. “Wow, you can’t do anything right. I should have dated Sapphire when I had the chance.” Rye said to tick her off. “Okay enough, I’ve got two shoes, and I will throw them at the next person to argue.” I said taking, my shoes off, I have had enough of this, and next thing that’s argued, the person who says it is going to get a shoe right up their ass. Elle knows I’ll do it. “It’s not my fault he’s a jerk.” She mumbled. “Shut up. Rye apologize for being too protective, and Elle apologize for being well, a jerk, and I mean it.” I said lifting my shoes as a warning. “I can’t with you watching.” She mumbled. “Well too bad.” I said lifting the shoes higher, but Josh laughed distracting me. I turned to him, and walked over; he was about ten feet away. “What is so funny?” I asked. “Nothing, just the fact that your using your heals as a threat.” He told me. “Well, I have had someone go to the hospital and get stiches because of me throwing a heel at them, so I just thought it would be a fair threat. Besides, what would you rather me threaten them with, a pocket knife?” I asked, incredulous. “You don’t have a pocket knife.” He told me, or in other words, accusing me of lying. “Yes, I do.” “Prove it.” “Fine, I will.” I told him, I reached under my skirt, and underneath was this little strap that held one, and I pulled it out. “Well, you have every situation covered then. Good to know that if I’m not there you can protect yourself.” He hadn’t meant to say the second part, and I knew it, so I just pretended like I didn’t hear him. “What?” “Nothing.” He looked relieved, but I wasn’t so I looked back at Rye and Elle who were holding hands again, yay. “There’s that happy couple I know. Good, I’m glad everything’s better.” I said, and then Jake and Joseph walked in. “I noticed that it got quiet.” Joseph said gentle and careful like always. “We were just making sure no one was dead.” Jake joked. “By the way Joseph, I’m never leaving you in charge again.” I said seriously. “How could you leave them alone?!” I demanded there had to be a better reason than the one he had given me. “They were shouting and it got on my nerves so I left.” He said shrugging it off as nothing, well, I’m glad everything’s fixed as far as Rye and Elle. “You don’t just do that! If they’re yelling, you have more reason to stay.” I said in a duh voice. “Okay well, I’m too stressed, Josh take me home.” I said thoughtlessly, oh my god; I didn’t mean to say that, stupid stress, getting to me. “Why do you want him to drive you home? I can do it.” Jake said stepping closer to me. “No man, you can stay and have fun, I’ll drop her off, then probably go home.” Josh said shrugging, and walking towards me, crap, what am I supposed to say? “No, it’s fine Josh, she’s my girlfriend.” He said giving Josh the death stare. “Well, umm.” I said desperately searching for the correct answer, why can’t I make them both happy? This is not fair, and they’re both waiting on me to say something, umm. Then Rye spoke up, and I was never so relieved to have him talk. “I’ll take you home.” Rye said with a smile. “Thanks Rye you’re a lifesaver.” I said with a charming smile, our eyes locked and I realized how pretty his eyes were, wait, I can’t think that, umm, can I? No, I can’t especially not when the me and Josh and Jake triangle hasn’t been settled. “Well come on let’s go.” Elle said, bitter. “Elle, you don’t have to go.” Rye said sliding his arm away from her waist. “Well of course I’m coming to.” She said, still a little bitter. “Well okay, if you insist, I guess it’s okay.” He said shrugging. “Do you not want me to come?” She asked coldly, why is she so mad? “Elle of course I want you to come, I love you okay?” He said leaning down and giving her a quick kiss. “So calm down, you’re the girl that owns my heart okay?” He said charming her as always, and she nodded smiling gently, EW, I mean cute. “Get a room.” Josh joked, and Elle stuck her tongue out, hopefully they don‘t have to get a room in front of me, that would be disgusting. “Okay, well let’s go then.” I said, clapping my hands once coming out of my trance, and Elle nodded her agreement. When we got to the car I went for the front seat, I think Elle wanted it, but then she told me I could, so I assumed it was ok. “Sorry, you should have the front. I mean we’re bringing you home.” She said with a smile, and I smiled back, wow, that‘s sweet. The whole car ride we talked and Elle grumbled about something, and she glared at me. Sometimes I gave her an odd glance, but she wouldn’t look away. We got home in what felt like a really short time. We got out laughing, and I heard Elle slam her door behind us, we both looked back, but didn’t say anything. They walked me to the front door, and Rye walked with me inside, and we sat on the couch, then I realized that Elle wasn’t with us. “Are you coming in?” I asked her, she’s being stupid, they probably won’t go back to the party and it was freezing out there. “No, we dropped you off, so now we’re going back right Rye?” She said making it obvious he was supposed to say yes, oh, I get it, she wants to be alone with Rye, my bad. “Well…” He hesitated. “I don’t think it would be right to leave Aqua alone, but I’ll take you back to the party if you want.” Rye said slightly nervous, but not making any movement to get up, he should really get up right about now. “Well of course, that’s what you would say.” She said bitterly, but she looked like she wanted to cry, why is she so sad? “Let me just leave you to your privacy then. Don’t mind me. It’s none of my business if my boyfriend, and sister want alone time.” She said wiping a tear from her eye. “Elle, don’t take it the wrong way, that’s not what I meant.” Rye said, starting to get up. “No you don’t need to get up. I’m going.” She said, storming out to the car. Rye sighed, and followed her out, what the hell? It isn‘t like were over here making out, we were just talking. I walked out there, wondering if they were fighting, I really didn’t want to have to deal with another fight today, there had already been three I had to fix, Why does everyone have to fight? I mean it’s hard enough that I have to deal with liking Jake and Josh, which really hurts, because I never have any idea whether or not Josh likes me enough to date me. I really didn’t mean to hurt Elle and it really was adding up on me. “Elle stop it.” Rye said severely, as I got into the car, what is that about? “That’s what I’m talking about!” She exclaimed. “What? Elle she’s obviously upset?!” He exclaimed back. “Yeah you notice when she’s upset, but not when I am!” She shouted. “Look, why don’t we all just stay here and relax.” Rye said trying to soothe her. “No, why don’t you give me the keys, and both of you get out.” She said coldly. “Why won’t you come in?” He demanded. “Because she’s here.” She exclaimed, and I felt like crying at what she said, of course, no one wants me around lately, and I can’t handle this anymore, I just wanted to help them. “I’m only trying to make it easier.” I defended quietly. “How is this easier? I don’t want you here! All you do is cause problems.” She said, ticked off. “I’m sorry.” I said about to get out, but Rye locked the doors. “We are all going back to the coffee shop.” He said like that was that. Who does he think he is? I don’t want to have to deal with insults all the way there, and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do about Jake and Josh once I’m there. “The hell I am.” She mumbled trying to scramble into the back seat, but he grabbed her arm, making it obvious she wasn’t getting back here. “Sit down.” He said, and Elle obeyed, but she made him buckle her in, she refused to, unlike me, I didn‘t want to start another fight, so I buckled myself in, I didn’t want to cry anymore, so I tried to wipe away the tears. “Can you stop that?!” She said, annoyed, flipping hair out of her face. “Elle it’s not her fault she’s crying. I mean obviously she’s upset so, it’s not like she doesn’t have a reason.” Rye defended me, that’s sweet but he really shouldn’t. “I’m upset, but you don’t see me crying so everyone will be on my side. I mean that’s what she’s trying to do anyway.” She said angrily. “Elle just shut up until we get there.” He said sharply and she did, but not for very long. “No. You are not my mother. I’m saying what I need to say now. I am the one that’s betrayed, she’s just being an attention hogging, lying, spoiled, bitch.” She said raising her voice as we pulled into the coffee shop, and I ran inside, I can‘t believe her, does she just not care about what I feel at all? As I ran in, I had meant to head for the bathroom, but then Jake caught me by the waist. “What’s wrong?” He was really concerned, and it just made everything that much worse. Josh was there; he almost came up to me to but stopped just a few feet away, also making things harder. “I just want Elle and Rye to stop fighting, but she, thinks that I’m trying to steal him, I don’t want to, and no one, will believe me.” I said between sobs, he hugged me, and as an afterthought that I didn’t mean to say I said, “And I just want your brother to stop screwing with me.” I didn’t mean to, and I wished I hadn’t said it; they both looked surprised at what I said. Then Elle walked in, still mad at me. “Wow, you’re just proving my point you big baby.” She said coldly. “What the hell’s wrong with you?! What did you do to her? Isn’t it obvious she’s hurt, just back off.” Josh roared at her. Why? Why me? I didn’t do anything to deserve this! I just wish everyone would stop and calm down. “No, you back off.” She said fiercely. “You don’t know the whole story, and I’m supposed to be your little sister, yet you haven’t defended me one time. Why? Because you are too obsessed with my sister, and the insane idea that if you’re nice enough she’ll date you. Well guess what? All you’re doing is screwing her up. She likes you, Rye, and Jake. She’s a whore and doesn’t want to admit it.” She said bitterly. “Get out.” He said trying not to go in rage. “Happy to oblige.” She said bitterly and she ran out. This is why I don’t get involved with people, everyone just gets hurt. “What were you saying before?” Jake said, still stunned at what I had said. “Nothing, I just, I can’t stand this Jake. Everything that’s happening hurts me.” I told him, as honest as I could be with him, without hurting him. “It’s going to be ok, ok?” He comforted me, but I still cried, I had been holding it all back since Josh started flirting with me, the things Elle said just added to the problem. “No, it’s not; nothing’s going to be ok. Every time I turn around, something happens.” “What happened to Elle?” Rye spoke for the first time since Elle had ran out. Seriously? That’s what he’s concerned about? Elle and where she went? Of course, I forgot that everyone loves Elle and her self-pity. That’s wrong though, she is my sister, and I can’t just let her run away. Then Jake sighed, “Josh, comfort her while I help Rye.” He said, and Josh walked over and wrapped his arms around me. Rye and Jake went to talk about Elle and just left me to be even more confused with Josh. “You know she doesn’t mean what she said Aqua? She’s just really mad right now.” He told me as I cried. “I think she does, and as far as I know, I might as well like all three of the guys she listed.” Then without thinking, I babbled and said something I didn’t want to. “I mean I already like two, Jake and his..” Then I stopped, I didn’t want to say more than I had. “That isn’t true, you know who you are. Just because you’re a little confused doesn’t mean you have to doubt yourself.” He comforted me, and I believed him. The tears had slowed, and now they were only a trickle. “I really hope that you mean it. I really don’t think I can handle this anymore though.” I told him, and I know he knew what I meant. “Well, I think you can. Everything is going to be ok.” He told me, and I involuntarily hugged him tighter. “I wish it would be ok.” “It will be, you know you’re really pretty even when you cry?” He asked, totally off subject, and then I remembered why I was crying and started to cry harder, just as hard as before. “I’m not joking, I mean it. You’re really pretty.” He told me, he didn’t understand why I was crying, he thought that I thought that he was teasing me and that’s why I was crying. He doesn’t understand, and I can’t just tell him. It would hurt worse to say it as far as I know. “You really are.” He assured, looking into my eyes, and it made it harder to ignore and I just kept crying. He looked around, and then he kissed me on the forehead, then Rye walked in, I was still crying though. “The guys and I have decided to go looking for Elle, Jake is going to stay here with Aqua and help her through what she’s crying about.” He told Josh, who nodded, and looked down at me. “Will that be ok? Will you be ok with Jake?” He asked, and I just nodded, so he gave me to Jake and the guys left to look for Elle. Jake looked down at me and told me the same thing that Josh had just told me. “You know you’re pretty, even when you’re crying?” He asked, and I cried really hard, because I enjoyed that both of them had told me that. “What happened with Elle anyway?” “I just talked, to, Rye and, she got really mad because, I guess we didn’t include her enough. I don’t know. She just got really mad, and I couldn’t help it I started crying, I mean Rye, wouldn’t let me leave and I was insulted the whole way here. I had been holding in tears all week, but the stuff she said didn’t, help.” I tried to explain through sobs, and he just handed me a tissue and studied me and hugged me while I cried. I can’t tell him, it will hurt him, and I still like him so much, I don’t think I can stand him to leave me. I wish that everything would just fix itself, and problems would stop revolving around me. “Hey, you know what I think will cheer you up?” I really didn’t know, so I just shook my head. “Singing, you love music.” He told me, but I didn’t want to so I shook my head. After about ten minutes of crying, I got up. “Help me set up the karaoke machine.” I told him, and he stood up smiling that he had provided the idea and he went to set it up. He put it on a mix cd, and hit pause. “Just hit play when you’re ready.” He told me, handing me the microphone, and I just nodded, I had a message to send through the song I was singing, because I felt like it was true, no matter how guilty I felt about it. “Are you ok; because you can cry some more if you want?” He asked, concerned. “No, that’s ok.” I told him, and I wiped the last tear from my eye, and I hit play, luckily it told me that the song I wanted to sing was in, which was Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz. I started singing, and Jake sat and listened. When I was done, he applauded me. “You do understand the lyrics right?” I asked him, and this time it was his turn to just nod. “I hope they don’t come true, but I can see what you mean.” He struggled through telling me that, he really didn’t like being to open, but he knew he had to tell me if he understood what I was telling him. “I hope they don’t either, but I just wanted you to know, I’ve broken a lot of hearts you know.” I told him, I didn’t want to, but I knew we would have to have a deep conversation about this sooner or later. “It won’t happen soon will it?” He asked but his eyes were closed. “No, not as far as I can see.” I told him, and his eyes opened and he smiled. Then he picked me up and put me down on the table. “You know, I really do love you right?” He asked, and I felt guilty, even after telling him about what a heart breaker I was and that it was possibly going to happen with us. “Yes, and you know that as far as I know, I love you to?” I asked, and he nodded. “Good,” I told him, and I kissed him, as strong as I could with our weak connection, it took him by surprise, and his hands went in my hair, and I wrapped myself around him, I was weak from the day’s events, but then he pulled back, and put me down. I looked down, and I felt stupid, but then he lifted my face and kissed me gently again, but it was gentle and small. I was disappointed because all I had felt were a few butterflies and not many at that. “Maybe when you don’t doubt everything going on in your life.” He told me, and I didn’t understand what he meant, and then I realized what he was talking about and tried not to laugh, that’s so sweet, but that’s not where that was going. “Ok, you want to sing with me?” I asked, looking at the small stage that the coffee shop had. “Sure.” He picked me up and I was startled. “Jake! Put me down!” I shouted out of reflex. “No, what if you hurt yourself, no more tears for today.” He told me as he sat me down on the stage. We sang a few of Taylor Swift’s old songs and then sat down and drank some coffee. Jake left to catch up with the guys and help find Elle. Eventually I got up and started pacing, where were they? They should have been back with Elle by now. A few minutes later she came in with Rye and the guys, and then walked over to me. “I’m sorry.” She said to me. “I didn’t mean what I said I was just mad, and felt like nobody cared.” Then Josh walked over to my side, and it must have reminded her who she was mad at. “You on the other hand aren’t off the hook.” She growled. “Why what did I do?” Josh asked bored, don’t be stupid, please. I tried to will him with my thoughts. “You’re supposed to be my brother and want to protect me, but what were you doing while I was upset? Flirting with my sister, and yelling at me like I wasn’t hurt too! You are supposed to care about me and if you can’t handle that then I don’t want you as my sibling.” She said angrily. “You made it quite clear when you decided to attack Aqua for no reason that you didn’t want help.” He said shrugging it off. “I made it quite clear did I? Well tell me the real reason why you were there for that whore,” She said motioning to me, ouch, I winced. “I mean Aqua instead of me.” She said bitterly, and I noticed Jake, Ian, Sapphire, Brooke and Matt were all outside. “Why fine I’ll tell you because I actually like her. Unlike you who goes around acting like you are the only one with problems. I can’t protect you from everything, but I can sure as hell protect you from hurting the people you love.” He said obviously angry, wait, did he say he likes me? “Well you know what instead of yelling at me you could have said that. Told me to calm down, and asked me what was wrong. I had to have had some reason to act like I did, but instead of checking on me on the walk over here from school like you should have you sent Joseph to do it for you because you wanted to bother my sister, and her boyfriend.” She said getting louder with each word. “Why don’t you take a little time to consider how I felt? Do you think I wasn’t just as upset as Rye? I’ve been upset for a long time so why don’t you think about that? “He shouted at her. “This is not about you.” She shouted stepping closer to him with every word. “This was about me, Rye, and Aqua so don’t go dragging your sorry ass into it! I have limits, and let me tell you you’re pushing them. I’m not going to care about your opinion or feelings until you can learn to think of someone else’s. Don’t lie this whole time you’ve only been thinking of how you could use everyone’s uncertainty to your advantage. You think strategies not love or caring. You go around with your head high like you’re someone important, but you’re not. You’re not better than me if anything you’re worse. Maybe you’re bigger than me, but I have friends and people who will fight for me. You stand alone, but I stand in a group of people that love me and will fight for me. So just get the hell out of here because nobody will miss you.” She said breathing heavily, and seething with anger. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something mean, but closed it probably not wanting to say something he didn’t want to. “Really is that true? This coming from the girl who once looked at me in awe?” He said calmly suppressing anger as Sapphire walked in with Ian. “I still do that’s the sad part. It’s because I’m amazed as to how someone could be this screwed up.” She said a tiny smirk on her face. Here comes the cold comments; at least it’s ending soon. “This coming from the girl who wouldn’t have those great friends had it not been for me.” He said slightly outraged at her will to fight back, and not expecting her quick remarks. “I would have befriended them without you because they’re Rye’s friends which mean they’re also mine.” She said defiant as always. “Well maybe I don’t have love, but neither do you because it’s only a matter of time before the real you comes out again, and destroys everything you love.” He said a satisfied smirk on his face, and I saw her mouth open in shock that he knew about that. She closed it quickly though, smart. “Yeah, I know about that little accident. You just got pushed a little too far, and whoosh everyone you loved was gone.” He said a tight satisfied smile was on his face, and I saw tears of anger filling her eyes just as Jake, Matt, and Brooke walked in. “Back off Josh or believe me I’ll make you.” Rye said stepping in front of her protectively, and again his voice had that scary acidic edge, please don’t fight each other. “She hasn’t told you what happened back when she was thirteen then has she? It makes sense if she did you’d leave her.” Josh said calmly with a shrug. “That’s enough.” Rye said stepping forward, but I saw Elle tug his hand, and he backed down. “That is enough if anyone would like to see Elle go down in flames it’s me, but this isn’t the time or the place to do it.” Sapphire’s calm voice said. Sapphire had no expression in her face, and I admired her bravery. Ian was horrified because he never believed Sapphire still hated her. “Fine, but one last thing who here wants me to leave?” He asked us all gravely, and Elle’s hand shot up quickly followed by Rye’s. Then Joseph and Sapphire’s hands went up. Followed slowly by the still shocked Ian. I can’t raise my hand to this, and Jake will support me, I hope Elle understands. “Majority rules if you don’t count yourself, and if you don’t count the people who have no idea what’s going on majority rules by a lot.” She said calmly. He nodded, and turned to leave. “Josh.” I said in a begging voice being rewarded by a very hurt look from Jake. Josh smiled gently, and shook his head before leaving. He must not want to start a fight. Well that’s ok; I don’t want to hurt Jake too much. It was silent for a moment before Elle decided to speak up. “Thanks my friends for backing me up, and those of you who didn’t,” She said looking at me, but I avoided her gaze I felt guilty. “I trust you had a good reason. So go back to having fun and someone turn the karaoke machine on I’m tired of this mood.” She said dismissing the subject. Brooke turned on t Publication Date: August 25th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-writergirl1

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Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson Three Comedies INTRODUCTION BJORNSTJERNE BJORNSON--poet, dramatist, novelist, and politician, and the most notable figure in contemporary Norwegian history--was born, in December 1832, at Kvikne in the north of Norway. His father was pastor at Kvikne, a remote village in the Oesterdal district, some sixty miles south of Trondhiem; a lonely spot, whose atmosphere and surroundings Bjoernson afterwards described in one of his short sketches ("Blakken"). The pastor's house lay so high up on the "fjeld" that corn would not grow on its meadows, where the relentless northern winter seemed to begin so early and end so late. The Oesterdal folk were a wild, turbulent lot in those days--so much so, that his predecessor (who had never ventured into the church without his pistol in his pocket) had eventually run away and flatly refused to return, with the result that the district was pastorless for some years until the elder Bjoernson came to it. It was in surroundings such as this, and with scarcely any playfellows, that Bjornstjerne Bjornson spent the first six years of his life; and the sturdy independence of his nature may have owed something to the unaccommodating life of his earliest days, just as the poetical impulse that was so strong in his developed character probably had its beginnings in the impressions of beauty he received in the years that immediately followed. For, when he was six, a welcome change came. His father was transferred to the tranquil pastorate of Naes, at the mouth of the Romsdal, one of the fairest spots in Norway. Here Bjornson spent the rest of his childhood, in surroundings of beauty and peacefulness, going to school first at Molde and afterwards at Christiania, to pass on later to the Christiania University where he graduated in 1852. As a boy, his earliest biographer tells us, he was fully determined to be a poet--and, naturally, the foremost poet of his time!--but, as years passed, he gained a soberer estimate of his possibilities. At the University he was one of a group of kindred spirits with eager literary leanings, and it did not take him long to gain a certain footing in the world of journalism. His work for the first year or two was mainly in the domain of dramatic criticism, but the creative instinct was growing in him. A youthful effort of his--a drama entitled Valborg--was actually accepted for production at the Christiania theatre, and the author, according to custom, was put on the "free list" at once. The experience he gained, however, by assiduous attendance at the theatre so convinced him of the defects in his own bantling, that he withdrew it before performance--a heroic act of self-criticism rare amongst young authors. His first serious literary efforts were some peasant tales, whose freshness and vividness made an immediate and remarkable impression and practically ensured his future as a writer, while their success inspired him with the desire to create a kind of peasant "saga." He wrote of what he knew, and a delicate sense of style seemed inborn in him. The best known of these tales are Synnoeve Solbakken (1857) and Arne (1858). They were hailed as giving a revelation of the Norwegian character, and the first-named was translated into English as early as 1858. He was thus made known to (or, at any rate, accessible to) English readers many years before Ibsen, though his renown was subsequently overshadowed, out of their own country, by the enormous vogue of the latter's works. Ibsen, too, has been far more widely translated (and is easier to translate) into English than Bjornson. Much of the latter's finest work, especially in his lyrical poetry and his peasant stories, has a charm of diction that it is almost impossible to reproduce in translation. Ibsen and Bjornson, who inevitably suggest comparison when either's work is dealt with, were closely bound by friendship as well as admiration until a breach was caused by Bjornson's taking offence at a supposed attack on him in Ibsen's early play The League of Youth, Bjornson considering himself to be lampooned in the delineation of one of the characters thereof. The breach, however, was healed many years later, when, at the time of the bitter attacks that were made upon Ibsen in consequence of the publication of Ghosts, Bjornson came into the field of controversy with a vigorous and generous championing of his rival. Bjornson's dramatic energies, as was the case with Ibsen in his early days, first took the form of a series of historical dramas--Sigurd Slembe, Konge Sverre, and others; and he was intimately connected with the theatre by being for two periods theatrical director, from 1857 to 1859 at Bergen and from 1865 to 1867 at Christiania. Previous to the latter engagement a stipend granted to him by the Norwegian government enabled him to travel for two or three years in Europe; and during those years his pen was never idle--poems, prose sketches, and tales flowing from it in abundance. De Nygifte (The Newly-Married Couple), the first of the three plays in the present volume, was produced at the Christiania theatre in the first year of his directorship there. The two volumes, Digte og Sange (Poems and Songs) and Arnljot Gelline, which comprise the greater proportion of Bjornson's poetry, both appeared in 1870. Digte og Sange was republished, in an enlarged edition, ten years later. It contains the poem "Ja, vi elsker dette Landet" ("Yes, we love this land of ours"), which, set to inspiring music by Nordraak, became Norway's most favourite national song, as well as another of the same nature--"Fremad! Fremad!" ("Forward! Forward!")--which, sung to music of Grieg's, ran it hard in popularity. Of "Ja, vi elsker dette Landet," Bjornson used to say that the greatest tribute he had ever had to its hold upon his fellow-countrymen's hearts was when, on one occasion during the poet's years of vigorous political activity, a crowd of fervid opponents came and broke his windows with stones; after which, turning to march away triumphantly, they felt the need (ever present to the Scandinavian in moments of stress) of singing, and burst out with one accord into the "Ja, vi elsker dette Landet" of their hated political adversary. "They couldn't help it; they had to sing it!" the poet used to relate delightedly. Of the birth of "Fremad! Fremad!" Grieg has left an account which gives an amusing picture of the infectious enthusiasm that was one of Bjornson's strongest characteristics. Grieg had given him, as a Christmas present, the first series of his "Lyrical Pieces" for the pianoforte, and had afterwards played some of them to the poet, who was especially struck with one melody which Grieg had called "Fadrelandssang" ("Song of the Fatherland"). Bjornson there and then, to the composer's great gratification, protested that he must write words to fit the air. (It must be mentioned that each strophe of the melody starts with a refrain consisting of two strongly accented notes, which suggest some vigorous dissyllabic word.) A day or two later Grieg met Bjornson, who was in the full throes of composition, and exclaimed to him that the song was going splendidly, and that he believed all the youth of Norway would adopt it enthusiastically; but that he was still puzzled over the very necessary word to fit the strongly marked refrain. However, he was not going to give it up. Next morning, when Grieg was in his room peacefully giving a piano lesson to a young lady, a furious ringing was heard at his front-door bell, as if the ringer would tear the bell from its wires, followed by a wild shout of "'Fremad! Fremad!' Hurrah, I have got it! 'Fremad!'" Bjornson, for of course the intruder was he, rushed into the house the moment the maid's trembling fingers could open the door, and triumphantly chanted the completed song to them, over and over again, amidst a din of laughter and congratulations. His first experiments in the "social drama," plays dealing with the tragedies and comedies of every-day life in his own country, were made at about the same time as Ibsen's; that is to say, in the seventies. Bjornson's first successes in that field, which made him at once a popular dramatist, were Redaktoeren (The Editor) in 1874 and En Fallit (A Bankruptcy) in 1875. The latter especially was hailed as the earliest raising of the veil upon Norwegian domestic life, and as a remarkable effort in the detection of drama in the commonplace. Before he wrote these, Bjornson had again been for some years out of Norway; and, as in the case of Ibsen, who began the writing of his "social dramas" when in voluntary exile, absence seemed to enable him to observe the familiar from a new standpoint and in the proper perspective. After his first successes in this line, when his plays (and his poems and tales to an equal extent) had made him popular and honoured among his own people, Bjornson settled at Aulestad, which remained his home for the rest of his life. He also became a doughty controversialist in social and religious matters, and the first outcome of this phase was his play Leonarda (the second in this volume), which was first performed in 1879, to be followed by Det ny System (The New System) later in the same year. These works aroused keen controversy, but were not such popular stage successes as his earlier plays. Moreover, about this time, on his return from a visit to America, he plunged into the vortex of political controversy as an aggressive radical. He was a vigorous and very persuasive orator; and in that capacity, as well as in that of writer of political articles and essays, was an uncompromising foe to the opportunist theories which he held to be degrading the public life of his country. The opposition he aroused by his fearless championship of whatever he considered a rightful cause was so bitter that he was eventually obliged to retire from Norway for two or three years. So much did this temporarily affect his literary reputation at home, that when, in 1883, he had written En Hanske (A Gauntlet--the third play here translated) he found at first considerable difficulty in getting it performed. Later, however, he became a political hero to a large section of his compatriots, and by degrees won back fully the place he had occupied in their hearts. He enthusiastically espoused the cause of the projected separation from Sweden, though when that matter came to a crisis he exercised an invaluable influence on the side of moderation. For the remainder of his life he continued to be prolific in literary production, with an ever increasing renown amongst European men of letters, and an ever deepening personal hold upon the affections of his fellow-countrymen. In 1903 he was awarded the Nobel prize for literature. During his later years he, like Ibsen, was a determined opponent of the movement to replace the Dano-Norwegian language, which had hitherto been the literary vehicle of Norwegian writers, by the "Bonde-Maal"--or "Ny Norsk" ("New Norwegian"), as it has lately been termed. This is an artificial hybrid composed from the Norwegian peasant dialects, by the use of which certain misguided patriots were (and unfortunately still are) anxious to dissociate their literature from that of Denmark. Bjornson, and with him most of the soberer spirits amongst Norwegian writers, had realised that the door which had so long shut out Norway from the literature of Europe must be, as he put it, opened from the inside; and he rightly considered that the ill-judged "Bonde-Maal" movement could only have the result of wedging the door more tightly shut. He died, in April 1910, in Paris, where for some years he had always spent his winters, and was buried at home with every mark of honour and regret, a Norwegian warship having been sent to convey his remains back to his own land. He was a man of very lovable personality and of the kindest heart; easily moved by any tale of oppression or injustice, and of wide-armed (albeit sometimes in judicious) generosity; more apt, in the affairs of everyday life, to be governed by his heart than by his head, and as simple as a child in many matters. His wife was an ideal helpmate to him, and their family life very happy. The Newly-Married Couple (1865) offers a considerable contrast to the other two plays here presented. It belongs to the school of Scribe and the "soliloquy," and the author avails himself of the recognised dramatic conventions of the day. At the same time, though the characters may be conventional in type, they are, thanks to Bjornson's sense of humour, alive; and the theme of the estrangement and reconciliation of the "newly-married couple" is treated with delicacy and charm. It is true that it is almost unbelievable that the hero could be so stupid as to allow the "confidante" to accompany his young wife when he at last succeeds in wresting her from her parents' jealous clutches; but, on the other hand, that lady, with her anonymous novel that revealed the truth to the young couple, was necessary to the plot as a "dea ex machina." The play was, and is, immensely popular on the Scandinavian stage, and still holds the boards on others. It has been translated into Swedish, German, English, Dutch, Italian, Polish and Finnish. Leonarda (1879) marks just as striking an advance upon Bjornson's early plays as the first of Ibsen's "social dramas" did upon his. Unreal stage conventions have disappeared, the characterisation is convincing, and the dialogue, if more prolix than Ibsen's (as is throughout the case with Bjornson), is always interesting and individual. The emotional theme of the play, the love of an older woman for her adopted daughter's young lover, is treated with the poetic touch that pervades all Bjornson's work; and the controversial theme, that of religious tolerance, with a sane restraint. It cannot be denied, however, that Bjornson's changed and unorthodox attitude towards religious matters--an attitude little expected except by those who knew him best--contributed a good deal towards the temporary waning of his popularity at this time. Leonarda is (like A Gauntlet) a good example of the root difference between Bjornson's and Ibsen's treatment of problems in their dramas. Ibsen contented himself with diagnosing social maladies; Bjornson's more genial nature hints also at the remedy, or at least at a palliative. Ibsen is a stern judge; Bjornson is, beyond that, a prophet of better things. Whereas Ibsen is first and foremost a dramatist, Bjornson is rather by instinct the novelist who casts his ideas in dramatic form, and is concerned to "round up" the whole. As Brandes says, in the course of his sympathetic criticism of the two writers, "Ibsen is in love with the idea, and its psychological and logical consequences.... Corresponding to this love of the abstract idea in Ibsen, we have in Bjornson the love of humankind." Bjornson, moreover, was a long way behind Ibsen in constructive skill. As regards the technical execution of Leonarda, its only obvious weakness is a slight want of vividness in the presentation of the thesis. The hiatuses between the acts leave perhaps too much to the imagination, and the play needs more than a cursory reading for us to grasp the full import of the actions and motives of its personages. Leonarda has not been previously translated into English; though Swedish, French, German and Finnish versions of it exist. A Gauntlet (finished in 1883) shows a great advance in dramatic technique. The whole is closely knit and coherent, and the problems involved are treated with an exhaustiveness that is equally fair to both sides. As has been already said, the plays that had preceded it from Bjornson's pen aroused such active controversy that he found it at first impossible to get A Gauntlet produced in his own country. Its first performance was in Hamburg, in 1883, and for that the author modified and altered it greatly. Eventually it was played, in its original form, in the Scandinavian countries, and in its turn stirred up a bitter controversy on the ethics of male and female morality as regards marriage. It was currently said that hundreds of contemplated marriages were broken off in Norway as an effect of its statement of a vital problem. The remodelling the play originally underwent for its performance in Germany was drastic. The second and third acts were entirely recast, the character of Dr. Nordan was omitted and others introduced, and the ending was changed. The first version was, however, evidently the author's favourite, and it is that that is presented here. Bjornson never published the recast version, and in the "memorial edition" of his works it is the present version that is given. The recast version was translated into English by Mr. Osman Edwards and produced (in an "adapted" and mangled form, for which the translator was not responsible) at the Royalty Theatre in London in 1894. R. FARQUHARSON SHARP. BIBLIOGRAPHY DRAMATIC AND POETIC WORKS.--Mellem Slagene (Between the Battles), 1857. Halte-Hulda (Lame Hulda), 1858. Kong Sverre (King Sverre), 1861. Sigurd Slembe (Sigurd the Bastard), 1862; translated by W. M. Payne, 1888. Maria Stuart i Skotland, 1864. De Nygifte (The Newly-Married Couple), 1865; translated by T. Soelfeldt, 1868; by S. and E. Hjerleid, 1870; as A Lesson in Marriage, by G. I. Colbron, 1911. Sigurd Jorsalfar (Sigurd the Crusader), 1872. Redaktoeren (The Editor), 1874. En Fallit (A Bankruptcy), 1874. Kongen (The King), 1877. Leonarda, 1879. Det ny System (The New System), 1879. En Hanske, 1883; translated as A Gauntlet, by H. L. Braekstad 1890; by Osman Edwards 1894. Over AEvne (Beyond our Strength), Part I., 1883; translated as Pastor Sang, by W. Wilson, 1893; Part II., 1895. Geografi og Kaerlighed (Geography and Love), 1885; Paul Lange og Tora Parsberg, 1898; translated by H. L. Braekstad, 1899. Laboremus, 1901; translation published by Chapman and Hall, 1901. Paa Storhove (At Storhove), 1904; Daglannet, 1904; Naar den ny Vin blomstrer (When the Vineyards are in Blossom), 1909. Digte og Sange (Poems and Songs), 1870; Arnljot Gelline, 1870. FICTION.--Synnoeve Solbakken 1857; translated as Trust and Trial, by Mary Howitt, 1858; as Love and Life in Norway, by Hon. Augusta Bethell and A. Plesner, 1870; as The Betrothal, in H. and A. Zimmern's Half-hours with Foreign Novelists, 1880; also translated by Julie Sutter, 1881; by R. B. Anderson, 1881. Arne, 1858; translated by T. Krag, 1861; by A. Plesner and S. Rugeley-Powers, 1866; by R. B. Anderson, 1881; by W. Low (Bohn's Library), 1890. Smaastykker (Sketches), 1860. En glad Gut, 1860; translated as Ovind, by S. and E. Hjerleid 1869; as The Happy Boy, by R. B. Anderson, 1881; as The Happy Lad (published by Blackie), 1882. Fiskerjenten, 1868 translated as The Fisher Maiden, by M. E. Niles, 1869; as The Fishing Girl, by A. Plesner and F. Richardson, 1870; as The Fishing Girl, by S. and E. Hjerleid, 1871; as The Fisher Maiden, by R. B. Anderson, 1882. Brude-Slaatten, 1873; translated as The Bridal March, by R. B. Anderson, 1882; by J. E. Williams, 1893. Fortaellinger (Tales), 1872. Magnhild, 1877; translated by R. B. Anderson, 1883. Kaptejn Mansana, 1879; translated as Captain Mansana by R. B. Anderson, 1882. Det flager i Byen og paa Havnen (Flags are Flying in Town and Port), 1884; translated as The Heritage of the Kurts, by C Fairfax 1892. Paa Guds Veje, 1889; translated as In God's Way, by E. Carmichael, 1890. Nye Fortaellinger (New Tales), 1894; To Fortaelinger (Two Tales), 1901; Mary, 1906. Collected edition of the Novels, translated into English, edited by E. Gosse, 13 vols., 1895-1909. [See Life of Bjornson by W. M. Payne, 1910; E. Gosse's Study of the Writings of Bjornson, in edition of Novels, 1895; H. H. Boyesen's Essays on Scandinavian Literature, 1895; G. Brandes' Critical Studies of Ibsen and Bjornson, 1899.] CONTENTS THE NEWLY-MARRIED COUPLE LEONARDA A GAUNTLET THE NEWLY-MARRIED COUPLE DRAMATIS PERSONAE The FATHER. The MOTHER. LAURA, their daughter. AXEL, her husband. MATHILDE, her friend. ACT I (SCENE.--A handsomely furnished, carpeted room, with a door at the back leading to a lobby. The FATHER is sitting on a couch on the left-hand side, in the foreground, reading a newspaper. Other papers are lying on a small table in front of him. AXEL is on another couch drawn up in a similar position on the right-hand side. A newspaper, which he is not reading, is lying on his knee. The MOTHER is sitting, sewing, in an easy-chair drawn up beside a table in the middle of the room.) [LAURA enters.] Laura. Good morning, mother! (Kisses her.) Mother. Good morning, dear. Have you slept well? Laura. Very well, thanks. Good morning, dad! (Kisses him.) Father. Good morning, little one, good morning. Happy and in good spirits? Laura. Very. (Passes in front of AXEL.) Good morning, Axel! (Sits down at the table, opposite her mother.) Axel. Good morning. Mother. I am very sorry to say, my child, that I must give up going to the ball with you to-night. It is such a long way to go, in this cold spring weather. Father (without looking up from his paper). Your mother is not well. She was coughing in the night. Laura. Coughing again? Father. Twice. (The MOTHER coughs, and he looks up.) There, do you hear that? Your mother must not go out, on any account. Laura. Then I won't go, either. Father. That will be just as well; it is such raw weather. (To the MOTHER.) But you have no shawl on, my love; where is your shawl? Laura. Axel, fetch mother's shawl; it is hanging in the lobby. (AXEL goes out into the lobby.) Mother. We are not really into spring yet. I am surprised the stove is not lit in here. Laura (to AXEL, who is arranging the shawl over the MOTHER'S shoulders). Axel, ring the bell and let us have a fire. (He does so, and gives the necessary instructions to the Servant.) Mother. If none of us are going to the ball, we ought to send them a note. Perhaps you would see to that, Axel? Axel. Certainly--but will it do for us to stay away from this ball? Laura. Surely you heard father say that mother has been coughing in the night. Axel. Yes, I heard; but the ball is being given by the only friend I have in these parts, in your honour and mine. We are the reason of the whole entertainment--surely we cannot stay away from it? Laura. But it wouldn't be any pleasure to us to go without mother. Axel. One often has to do what is not any pleasure. Laura. When it is a matter of duty, certainly. But our first duty is to mother, and we cannot possibly leave her alone at home when she is ill. Axel. I had no idea she was ill. Father (as he reads). She coughed twice in the night. She coughed only a moment ago. Mother. Axel means that a cough or two isn't illness, and he is quite right. Father (still reading). A cough may be a sign of something very serious. (Clears his throat.) The chest--or the lungs. (Clears his throat again.) I don't think I feel quite the thing myself, either. Laura. Daddy dear, you are too lightly clothed. Mother. You dress as if it were summer--and it certainly isn't that. Father. The fire will burn up directly. (Clears his throat again.) No, not quite the thing at all. Laura. Axel! (He goes up to her.) You might read the paper to us till breakfast is ready. Axel. Certainly. But first of all I want to know if we really are not to go to the ball? Laura. You can go, if you like, and take our excuses. Mother. That wouldn't do. Remember you are married now. Axel. That is exactly why it seems to me that Laura cannot stay at home. The fact that she is my wife ought to have most weight with her now; and this ball is being given for us two, who have nothing the matter with us, besides being mainly a dance for young people-- Mother. And not for old folk. Laura. Thank you; mother has taken to dancing again since I have grown up. I have never been to a ball without mother's leading off the dances. Mother. Axel apparently thinks it would have been much better if I had not done so. Father (as he reads). Mother dances most elegantly. Axel. Surely I should know that, seeing how often I have had the honour of leading off with mother. But on this occasion forty or fifty people have been invited, a lot of trouble and expense incurred and a lot of pleasure arranged, solely for our sakes. It would be simply wicked to disappoint them. Father (still reading). We can give a ball for them, in return. Mother. All the more as we owe heaps of people an invitation. Laura. Yes, that will be better; we have more room here, too. (A pause.) Axel (leaning over LAURA'S chair). Think of your new ball dress--my first present to you. Won't that tempt you? Blue muslin, with silver stars all over it? Shall they not shine for the first time to-night? Laura (smiling). No, there would be no shine in the stars if mother were not at the dance. Axel. Very well--I will send our excuses. (Turns to go out.) Father (still reading). Perhaps it will be better for me to write. (AXEL stops.) Mother. Yes, you will do it best. [MATHILDE comes in, followed by a Servant, who throws the doors open.] Mathilde. Breakfast is ready. Father (taking his wife's arm). Keep your shawl on, my dear; it is cold in the hall. (They go out.) Axel (as he offers LAURA his arm and leads her towards the door). Let me have a word with you, before we follow them! Laura. But it is breakfast time. Axel (to MATHILDE, who is standing behind them waiting). Do you mind going on? (MATHILDE goes out, followed by the Servant. AXEL turns to LAURA.) Will nothing move you? Go with me to this dance! Laura. I thought that was what you were going to say. Axel. For _my_ sake! Laura. But you saw for yourself that mother and father do not wish it? Axel. _I_ wish it. Laura. When mother and father do not? Axel. Then I suppose you are their daughter in the first place, and my wife only in the second? Laura (with a laugh). Well, that is only natural. Axel. No, it is not natural; because two days ago you promised to forsake your father and your mother and follow me. Laura (laughing). To the ball? I certainly never promised that. Axel. Wherever I wish. Laura. But you mustn't wish that, Axel darling--because it is quite impossible. Axel. It is quite possible, if you like to do it. Laura. Yes, but I don't like. Axel. That same day you also heard that a man is his wife's lord and master. You must be willing to leave them, if I wish it; it was on those terms that you gave me your hand, you obstinate little woman. Laura. It was just so as to be able to be always with father and mother, that I did it. Axel. So that was it. Then you have no wish to be always with me? Laura. Yes--but not to forsake them. Axel. Never? Laura. Never? (Softly.) Yes, some day--when I must. Axel. When must you? Laura. When? When mother and father--are gone. But why think about such things? Axel. Don't cry, darling! Listen to me. Would you never be willing to follow me--until they have left us? Laura. No!--how can you think so? Axel. Ah, Laura, you don't love me. Laura. Why do you say such a thing? You only want to make me unhappy. Axel. You don't even know what love is. Laura. I don't?--That is not kind of you. Axel. Tell me what it is then, sweetheart! Laura (kissing him). Now you mustn't talk about it any more; because you know, if you do, I shall have red eyes, and then father and mother will want to know why they are red, and I shall not be able to tell them, and it will be very embarrassing. Axel. Better a few tears now than many later on. Laura. But what have I done to cry about? Axel. You have given your hand without giving your heart with it; your tongue said "yes," but not your will; you have given yourself without realising what it means. And so, what ought to be the greatest and purest happiness in my life begins to turn to sorrow, and the future looks dark. Laura. Oh, dear!--and is all this my fault? Axel. No, it is my own fault. I have been deluding myself with flattering hopes. I thought it would be so easy a matter for my love to awaken yours; but I cannot make you understand me. Every way I have tried has failed. So I must call up my courage, and try the last chance. Laura. The last chance? What do you mean? Axel. Laura, I can't tell you how dearly I love you! Laura. If you did, you wouldn't hurt me. I never hurt you. Axel. Well, give in to me in just this one thing, and I shall believe it is the promise of more. Go with me to the ball! Laura. You know I cannot do that! Axel. Ah! then I dare not delay any longer! Laura. You frighten me! You look so angry. Axel. No, no. But things cannot go on like this any longer. I can't stand it! Laura. Am I so bad, then? No one ever told me so before. Axel. Don't cry, my dainty little fairy. You have nothing to blame yourself for--except for being so bewitchingly sweet whether you are laughing or crying. You exhale sweetness like a flower. I want your influence to pervade every place where I am, to distract me when I am moody and laugh away my longings. Hush, hush--no red eyes. Let no one see that. Here is your mother coming--no, it is Mathilde. [Enter MATHILDE.] Mathilde. Your coffee is getting cold. Axel. We are just coming. At least, Laura is. I want to speak to you for a moment, if I may. Mathilde. To me? Axel. If you will allow me. Mathilde. By all means. Laura. But you are coming in to breakfast? Axel. In a moment, darling. Laura. And you are not angry with me any longer? Axel (following her). I never was that. I never could be! Laura. I am so glad! (Runs out.) Mathilde. What is it you want? Axel. Can you keep a secret? Mathilde. No. Axel. You won't? Mathilde. No. Axel. You won't share any more confidences with me? (Takes her hand.) You used to-- Mathilde (drawing back her hand and moving away from him). Yes, I used to. Axel. Why won't you any longer? (Goes up to her.) What is changed? Mathilde. You. You are married now. Axel. No, that is just what I am not. Mathilde. Indeed. Axel. You have sharp eyes. You must have seen that. Mathilde. I thought it was all just as you wished. Axel. You are giving me very abrupt answers. Have I offended you? Mathilde. What makes you ask that? Axel. Because lately you have avoided me. Remember how kind you were to me once--indeed, that I owe you everything. It was through you, you know, that I got at her. I had to make assignations with you, in order to meet her. I had to offer you my arm so as to be able to give her the other, and to talk to you so that she might hear my voice. The little darling thought she was doing you a service-- Mathilde. When as a matter of fact it was I that was doing her one-- Axel. Yes, and without suspecting it! That was the amusing part of it. Mathilde. Yes, that was the amusing part of it. Axel. But soon people began to say that you and I were secretly engaged, and that we were making a stalking-horse of Laura; so for her sake I had to bring matters to a head rather quickly. Mathilde. Yes, you took a good many people by surprise. Axel. Including even yourself, I believe--not to mention the old folk and Laura. But the worst of it is that I took my own happiness by surprise, too. Mathilde. What do you mean? Axel. Of course I knew Laura was only a child; but I thought she would grow up when she felt the approach of love. But she has never felt its approach; she is like a bud that will not open, and I cannot warm the atmosphere. But you could do that--you, in whom she has confided all her first longings--you, whose kind heart knows so well how to sacrifice its happiness for others. You know you are to some extent responsible, too, for the fact that the most important event in her life came upon her a little unpreparedly; so you ought to take her by the hand and guide her first steps away from her parents and towards me--direct her affections towards me-- Mathilde. I? (A pause.) Axel. Won't you? Mathilde. No-- Axel. But why not? You love her, don't you? Mathilde. I do; but this is a thing-- Axel.--that you can do quite well! For you are better off than the rest of us--you have many more ways of reaching a person's soul than we have. Sometimes when we have been discussing something, and then you have given your opinion, it has reminded me of the refrains to the old ballads, which sum up the essence of the whole poem in two lines. Mathilde. Yes, I have heard you flatter before. Axel. I flatter? Why, what I have just asked you to do is a clearer proof than anything else how great my-- Mathilde. Stop, stop! I won't do it! Axel. Why not? At least be frank with me! Mathilde. Because--oh, because--(Turns away.) Axel. But what has made you so unkind? (MATHILDE stops for a moment, as though she were going to answer; then goes hurriedly out.) What on earth is the matter with her? Has anything gone wrong between her and Laura? Or is it something about the house that is worrying her? She is too level-headed to be disturbed by trifles.--Well, whatever it is, it must look after itself; I have something else to think about. If the one of them _can't_ understand me, and the other _won't_, and the old couple neither can nor will, I must act on my own account--and the sooner the better! Later on, it would look to other people like a rupture. It must be done now, before we settle down to this state of things; for if we were to do that, it would be all up with us. To acquiesce in such an unnatural state of affairs would be like crippling one's self on purpose. I am entangled hand and foot here in the meshes of a net of circumspection. I shall have to sail along at "dead slow" all my life--creep about among their furniture and their flowers as warily as among their habits. You might just as well try to stand the house on its head as to alter the slightest thing in it. I daren't move!--and it is becoming unbearable. Would it be a breach of a law of nature to move this couch a little closer to the wall, or this chair further away from it? And has it been ordained from all eternity that this table must stand just where it does? _Can_ it be shifted? (Moves it.) It actually can! And the couch, too. Why does it stand so far forward? (Pushes it back.) And why are these chairs everlastingly in the way? This one shall stand there--and this one there. (Moves them.) I will have room for my legs; I positively believe I have forgotten how to walk. For a whole year I have hardly heard the sound of my own footstep--or of my own voice; they do nothing but whisper and cough here. I wonder if I have any voice left? (Sings.) "Bursting every bar and band, My fetters will I shatter; Striding out, with sword in hand, Where the fight"-- (He stops abruptly, at the entrance of the FATHER, the MOTHER, LAURA and MATHILDE, who have come hurriedly from the breakfast table. A long pause.) Laura. Axel, dear! Mathilde. What, all by himself? Mother. Do you think you are at a ball? Father. And playing the part of musician as well as dancer? Axel. I am amusing myself. Father. With our furniture? Axel. I only wanted to see if it was possible to move it. Mother. If it was possible to move it? Laura. But what were you shouting about? Axel. I only wanted to try if I had any voice left. Laura. If you had any voice left? Mother. There is a big wood near the house, where you can practise that. Father. And a waterfall--if you are anxious to emulate Demosthenes. Laura. Axel, dear--are you out of your mind? Axel. No, but I think I soon shall be. Mother. Is there anything wrong? Axel. Yes, a great deal. Mother. What is it? Some unpleasant news by post? Axel. No, not that--but I am unhappy. Mother. Two days after your wedding? Father. You have a very odd way of showing it. Axel. I am taken like that sometimes. Mother. But what is it? Evidently you are not as happy as we hoped you would be. Confide in us, Axel; we are your parents now, you know. Axel. It is something I have been thinking about for a long time, but have not had the courage to mention. Mother. Why? Aren't we good to you? Axel. You are much too good to me. Father. What do you mean by that? Axel. That everything is made far too smooth for me here; my faculties get no exercise; I cannot satisfy my longing for activity and conflict--nor my ambition. Father. Dear me! What do you want, if you please? Axel. I want to work for myself, to owe my position in life to my own efforts--to become something. Father. Really.--What a foolish idea! (Moves towards the door.) Mother. But an idea we must take an interest in. He is our child's husband now, remember. What do you want to be, my boy? Member of Parliament? Axel. No; but my uncle, who has about the largest legal practice in these parts, offered long ago to hand it over to me. Mother. But you wouldn't be able to look after it from here, would you, Axel? Father (at the door). A ridiculous idea!--Come back to breakfast. (Turns to go.) Mother. That is true, isn't it? You couldn't look after it from here? Axel. No; but I can move into town. All. Move into town? (A pause. The FATHER turns back from the door.) Father. That is still more impossible, of course. Mother. There must be something at the bottom of this. Is anything worrying you? (Lowering her voice.) Are you in debt? Axel. No, thanks to the kindness of you two. You have freed me from that. Mother. Then what is it, Axel? You have been so, strange lately--what is it, my dear boy? Father. Nonsensical ideas--probably his stomach is disordered. Remember the last time I ate lobster!--Come along in and have a glass of sherry, and you will forget all about it. Axel. No, it isn't a thing one can forget. It is always in my thoughts--more and more insistently. I must have work for my mind--some outlet for my ambition. I am bored here. Mother. Two days after your wedding! Father. Set to work then, for heaven's sake! What is there to hinder you? Would you like to take charge of one of my farms? Or to start some improvements on the estate?--or anything you please! I have no doubt you have ideas, and I will provide the money--only do not let us have any of this fuss! Axel. But then I shall be indebted to you for everything, and shall feel dependent. Father. So you would rather feel indebted to your uncle? Axel. He will give me nothing. I must buy it from him. Father. Really!--How? Axel. With my work and my--. Oh well, I suppose you would lend me a little capital? Father. Not a penny. Axel. But why? Father. I will tell you why. Because my son in law must be my son-in-law, and not a speculating lawyer who sits with his door open and a sign hung out to beg for custom. Axel. Is a lawyer's profession a dishonourable one, then? Father. No, it is not. But you have been received into one of the oldest and richest families in the country, and you owe some respect to its traditions. Generation after generation, from time immemorial, the heads of our family have been lords of the manor--not office seekers or fortune hunters. The honourable offices I have held have all been offered to me and not sought by me; and I am not going to have you chattering about your university degree or your talents. You shall stay quietly here, and you will be offered more than you want. Mother. Come, come, my dear, don't get heated over it; that always makes you so unwell. Let us arrive at some arrangement without wrangling. Axel, you must be reasonable; you know he cannot stand any over-exertion. Laura, get your father a glass of water. Come, my dear, let us go back to the dining-room. Father. Thanks, I have no appetite left now. Mother. There, you see!--Axel, Axel! Laura. For shame, Axel! Mother. Sit down, dear, sit down! My goodness, how hot you are! Father. It is so warm in here. Mother. That is the stove. Shut it down, Mathilde! Laura (to AXEL). You are a nice one, I must say! Father. The chairs--put them straight! (They do so.) And the table! (They do so.) That is better. Mother. That is the worst of a stranger in the house--something of this sort may so easily happen. Father. But a thing like this!--I have never in my life been contradicted before. Mother. It is for the first and last time! He will soon learn who you are and what is due to you. Father. And to think that, the first time, it should be my son-in-law that-- Mother. He will regret it for the rest of your life, you may be sure, and when you are gone he will have no peace of mind. We can only hope that the atmosphere of affection in this house will improve him. Really, lately, Axel has behaved as if he were bewitched. Laura. Yes, hasn't he? Mother. Good gracious, Laura, do you mean that you-- Laura. No, I didn't mean anything. Mother. Laura, are you trying to conceal something? Father. And from us? (Gets up.) Are things as bad as that? Laura. I assure you, dear people, it is nothing; it is only-- Father and Mother (together). Only--? Laura. No, no, it is nothing--only you frighten me so. Father and Mother (together). She is crying! Mathilde. She is crying! Father. Now, sir--why is she crying? Laura. But, father, father--look, I am not crying the least bit. Mother and Mathilde. Yes, she is crying! Axel. Yes--and will cry every day until we make a change here! (A pause, while they all look at him.) Well, as so much has been said, it may as well all come out. Our marriage is not a happy one, because it lacks the most essential thing of all. Mother. Merciful heavens, what are you saying! Father. Compose yourself; let me talk to him. What do you mean, sir? Axel. Laura does not love me-- Laura. Yes, that is what he says! Axel. She hasn't the least idea what love means, and will never learn as long as she is in her father's house. Mother and Father. Why? Axel. Because she lives only for her parents; me, she looks upon merely as an elder brother who is to assist her in loving them. Mother. Is that so distasteful to you, then? Axel. No, no. I am devoted to you and grateful to you, and I am proud of being your son; but it is only through her that I am that--and she has never yet really taken me to her heart. I am quite at liberty to go away or to stay, as I please; _she_ is a fixture here. There is never one of her requests to me, scarcely a single wish she expresses--indeed, scarcely a sign of endearment she shows me, that she has not first of all divided up into three portions; and I get my one-third of it, and get it last or not at all. Mother. He is jealous--and of us! Father. Jealous of us! Laura. Yes, indeed he is, mother. Father. This is mere fancy, Axel--a ridiculous idea. Do not let any one else hear you saying that. Axel. No, it is neither mere fancy nor is it ridiculous. It colours the whole of our relations to one another; it gnaws at my feelings, and then I torment her, make you angry, and lead an idle, empty, ill-tempered existence-- Father. You are ill, there is no doubt about it. Axel. I am, and you have made me ill. Father and Mother (together). We have? Father. Please be a little-- Axel. You allow her to treat me simply as the largest sized of all the dolls you have given her to play with. You cannot bear to see her give away any more of her affection than she might give to one of her dolls. Father. Please talk in a more seemly manner! Please show us a proper respect-- Axel. Forgive me, my dear parents, if I don't. What I mean is that a child cannot be a wife, and as long as she remains with you she will always be a child. Mother. But, Axel, did we not tell you she was only a child-- Father. We warned you, we asked you to wait a year or two-- Mother. Because we could not see that she loved you sufficiently. Father. But your answer was that it was just the child in her that you loved. Mother. Just the child's innocence and simplicity. You said you felt purer in her presence; indeed, that she sometimes made you feel as if you were in church. And we, her father and mother, understood that, for we had felt it ourselves. Father. We felt that just as much as you, my son. Mother. Do you remember one morning, when she was asleep, that you said her life was a dream which it would be a sin to disturb? Father. And said that the mere thought of her made you tread more softly for fear of waking her. Axel. That is quite true. Her childlike nature shed happiness upon me, her gentle innocence stilled me. It is quite true that I felt her influence upon my senses like that of a beautiful morning. Father. And now you are impatient with her for being a child! Axel. Exactly! At the time when I was longing to lead her to the altar, I daresay I only thought of her as an inspiration to my better self and my best impulses. She was to me what the Madonna is to a good Catholic; but now she has become something more than that. The distance between us no longer exists; I cannot be satisfied with mere adoration, I must love; I cannot be satisfied with kneeling to her, I need my arms around her. Her glance has the same delicacy it always had, the same innocence; but I can no longer sit and gaze at her by the hour. Her glance must lose itself in mine in complete surrender. Her hand, her arm, her mouth are the same as they were; but I need to feel her hand stroking my hair, her arm round my neck, her mouth on mine; her thoughts must embrace mine and be like sunshine in my heart. She was a symbol to me, but the symbol has become flesh and blood. When first she came into my thoughts it was as a child; but I have watched her day by day grow into a woman, whose shyness and ignorance make her turn away from me, but whom I must possess. (LAURA moves quickly towards him.) Mother. He loves our child! Father. He loves her! (Embraces his wife.) What more is there to say, then? Everything is as it should be. Come along and have a glass of sherry! Axel. No, everything is not as it should be. I can get her gratitude sometimes in a lucky moment, but not her heart. If I am fond of a certain thing, she is not. If I wish a thing, she wishes the opposite--for instance, if it's only a question of going to a ball, she won't take any pleasure in it unless her mother can go too. Mother. Good heavens, is it nothing but that! Laura. No, mother, it is nothing else; it is this ball. Father. Then for any sake go to the ball! You are a couple of noodles. Come along, now. Axel. The ball? It is not the ball. I don't care a bit about the ball. Laura. No, that is just it, mother. When he gets what he wants, it turns out that it wasn't what he wanted at all, but something quite different. I don't understand what it is. Axel. No, because it is not a question of any one thing, but of our whole relations to one another. Love is what I miss; she does not know what it means, and never will know--as long as she remains at home here. (A pause.) Mother (slowly). As long as she remains at home? Father (coming nearer to him, and trembling slightly). What do you mean by that? Axel. It will be only when Laura finds she can no longer lean upon her parents, that she may possibly come to lean upon me. Mother. What does he mean? Father. I don't understand-- Axel. If she is to be something more than a good daughter--if she is to be a good wife--Laura must go away from here. Mother. Laura go away? Father. Our child? Laura (to her MOTHER). Mother! Axel. It would be wronging her whom I love so deeply, it would be wronging myself, and wronging you who mean so well, if now, when the power is in my hands, I had not the spirit to make use of it. Here, Laura lives only for you; when you die, life will be over for her. But that is not what marriage means, that is not what she promised at the altar, and that is what I cannot submit to. To go on like this will only make us all unhappy; and that is why Laura must go with me! (The MOTHER starts forward; LAURA goes to MATHILDE.) Father. You cannot mean what you say. Axel. I am in deadly earnest, and no one can shake my resolution. Mother. Then Heaven have mercy on us! (A pause.) Father. You know, Axel, that God gave us five children; and you know, too, that He took four away from us again. Laura is now our only child, our only joy. Mother. We can't bear to lose her, Axel! She has never been away from us a single day since she was born. She is the spoilt child of our sorrow; if death itself claimed her, we should have to hold fast on to her. Father. Axel, you are not a wicked man; you have not come amongst us to make us all unhappy? Axel. If I were to give in now, this state of things would occur again every week or so, and none of us could stand that. For that reason, my dear parents, prove yourselves capable of a sacrifice. Let us put an end to it once for all--and let Laura move into town with me next week. Father. Good heavens--it is impossible! Mother. You won't have the heart to do that. Look at her, and then say that again! (AXEL turns away.) No, I knew you could not. (To the FATHER.) You talk to him! Tell him the truth, set him right, since he has broken in upon a good and loving family only to bring misfortune to it. Father. In this house, as far back as I can remember, no hard words have ever been used. It seems to me like some evil dream, that I am struggling to wake out of and cannot! (A pause.) Mr. Hargaut, when we gave our daughter to you, we made no conditions. We admitted you into a happy family, to a position of wealth, to a promising future; and we expected, in return, some little affection, some little appreciation--at least some little respect. But you behave like--like a stranger, who is admitted to one's intimacy and good offices, and then one morning goes off with the most valuable possessions in the house--like an ungrateful, cruel--! We have confided our child, the dearest, sweetest child, our only child, to--a man without a heart! We were two happy parents, rich in her love--parents whom every one envied and we now are two poor bereaved wretches, who must creep away together into a corner in their unhappy disillusionment. (Sits down.) Mother. And this is the way you can treat the man who has given you everything! What answer have you to give him? Axel. It makes my heart bleed. If I had thought it would be as hard as this, indeed I would never have begun it; but if we leave the matter unsettled, now that it has been broached, we shall never be on proper terms with one another again. Of that I am certain. If it is a matter that pains us all, for that very reason let us go through with it and get it settled. Father. Poor confiding fools that we have been! Mother. Can't you give us some respite, so that we may think things over quietly? This is simply tearing us apart. Axel. It would only prolong your pain, and it would end in your hating me. No, it must be done now--at once; otherwise it will never be done. Mother. Oh dear, oh dear! (Sits down.) Father. Axel! Listen to us for a moment! It is quite possible you may be in the right; but for that very reason I beg you--I, who have never yet begged anything of any one--I beg you, be merciful! I am an old man, and cannot stand it--and she (looking at his wife) still less. Axel. Ah, I am not hard-hearted--but I must try to be resolute. If I lose now, I shall be losing her for life, I know. Therefore she _shall_ go with me! Mother (springing up). No, she shall not! If you loved her, as you say you do, you hypocrite, you would remain where she is--and here she shall stay! Laura (who has been standing beside MATHILDE, goes to her MOTHER). Yes, to my dying day. Father (getting up). No! We must not alter God's law. It is written: "A man shall forsake his father and his mother, and cleave only unto his wife"--and in the same way she must cleave only to him. Laura shall go when he wishes. Laura. Father, can you--have you the heart to--? Father. No, I haven't the heart to, my child. But I shall do it nevertheless, because it is right. Oh, Laura!--(Embraces her. The MOTHER joins her embrace to his.) Mathilde (to AXEL). You Jesuit!--You have no consideration, no mercy; you trample upon hearts as you would upon the grass that grows in your path. But you shall not find this so easy as you think. It is true she is a child--but I shall go with her! I don't know you, and I don't trust you. (Clenches her fist.) But I shall watch over her! [Curtain.] ACT II (SCENE.--AXEL's house, a year later. The room is arranged almost identically like that in the first act. Two large portraits of LAURA'S parents, very well executed, hang in full view. LAURA is sitting at the table, MATHILDE on the couch on the right.) Mathilde (reading aloud from a book). "'No,' was the decided answer. Originally it was he that was to blame, but now it is she. He tore her from her parents, her home and her familiar surroundings; but since then he has sought her forgiveness so perseveringly, and her love so humbly, that it would take all the obstinacy of a spoilt child to withstand him. Just as formerly he could think of nothing but his love, so now she will consider nothing except her self-love; but she is so much the more to blame than he, as her motives are less good than his. She is like a child that has woke up too early in the morning; it strikes and kicks at any one that comes to pet it." Laura. Mathilde--does it really say that? Mathilde. Indeed it does. Laura. Just as you read it? Mathilde. Look for yourself. Laura (takes the book and looks at it, then lays it down). It is almost our own story, word for word. I would give anything to know who has written it. Mathilde. It is a mere coincidence-- Laura. No, some wicked wretch has seen something like this--some creature that is heartless enough to be able to mock at a parent's love; it must be some one who either is worthless himself or has had worthless parents! Mathilde. Why, Laura, how seriously you take it! Laura. Yes, it irritates me, this libelling of all fidelity. What is fidelity, if it does not mean that a child should be true to its parents? Mathilde. But I was just reading to you about that. (Reads.) "The object of fidelity changes, as we ourselves change. The child's duty is to be true to its parents; the married, to one another; the aged, to their children--" Laura. Don't read any more! I won't hear any more! Its whole train of thought offends me. (After a pause.) What a horrid book! (Indifferently.) What happens to them in the end? Mathilde (in the same tone). To whom? Laura. That couple--in the book. Mathilde (still in an indifferent tone). It doesn't end happily. (A pause.) Laura (looking up). Which of them suffers? Mathilde. Which do you think? Laura (beginning to sew again). She, I should think--because she is unhappy already. Mathilde. You have guessed right. She falls in love. Laura (astonished). Falls in love? Mathilde. Yes. Sometime or other, love is awakened in the heart of every woman; and then, if she cannot love her husband, in the course of time she will love some one else. Laura (dismayed). Some one else! Mathilde. Yes. (A pause.) Laura. That is horrible! (Begins to sew, then lays her hand down on the table, then begins to sew again.) And what happens to him? Mathilde. He falls ill, very ill. And then some one finds him out and comforts him--a woman. Laura (looking up). How does that happen? Mathilde. His heart is like an empty house, in an atmosphere of sadness and longing. Little by little she--the woman who comforts him--creeps into it; and so in time there comes the day when he can say he is happy. (A pause.) Laura (quietly). Who is she? Mathilde. One of those poor-spirited creatures that can be content with the aftermath of love. Laura (after a pause, during which she has been looking fixedly at MATHILDE). Could you be that? Mathilde. No!--I must be first or nothing! Laura. But about her? Mathilde. The wife? Laura. Yes. What happens to her? Mathilde. Directly she realises that love for another has taken possession of her husband, she turns towards him with all her heart; but it is too late then. (LAURA sits absorbed for a few moments; then gets up hurriedly and goes to a little work-table that is standing at the end of the couch on the left, opens it, looks for something in it, stops to think, then looks in it again.) What are you looking for? Laura. A photograph. Mathilde. Axel's? Laura. No--but what has become of it? Mathilde. Don't you remember that one day you took it up and said you would not have it? So I hid it. Laura. You? Mathilde. Yes--till you should ask about it. (Gets up, opens her work-table that stands by the right-hand couch.) Here it is. (Gives it to her.) Laura. So you have got it! (Lays it in her table drawer without looking at it, shuts the drawer, goes a few paces away, then comes back, turns the key in the drawer and takes it out.) Has Axel read the new book? Mathilde. I don't know. Shall I give it to him? Laura. Just as you like. Perhaps you would like to read it aloud to him. (A Maid comes in with a letter; LAURA takes it, and the Maid goes out again.) From my parents! (Kisses the letter with emotion.) The only ones who love me! (Goes out hurriedly. At the same moment AXEL comes in from the outer door.) Axel. She always goes when I come in! Mathilde (getting up). This time it was an accident, though. (Looks at him.) How pale you are! Axel (seriously). I am rather worried.--Have you read the new novel? Mathilde (putting the book in her pocket). What novel? Axel. "The Newly-Married Couple"--quite a small book. Mathilde. Oh, that one--I have just been reading it. Axel (eagerly). And Laura too? Has Laura read it? Mathilde. She thinks it is a poor story. Axel. It isn't that, but it is an extraordinary one. It quite startles me--it is like coming into one's own room and seeing one's self sitting there. It has caught hold of unformed thoughts that lie hidden deep in my soul. Mathilde. Every good book does that. Axel. Everything will happen to me just as it does in that book; the premises are all here, only I had not recognised them. Mathilde. I have heard of very young doctors feeling the symptoms of all the diseases they read about. Axel. Oh, but this is more than mere imagination. My temptations come bodily before me. My thoughts are the result of what happens, just as naturally as smoke is the result of fire--and these thoughts (lancing at MATHILDE) lead me far. Mathilde. As far as I can see, the book only teaches consideration for a woman, especially if she is young. Axel. That is true. But, look here--a young man, brought up among students, cannot possibly possess, ready-made, all this consideration that a woman's nature requires. He doesn't become a married man in one day, but by degrees. He cannot make a clean sweep of his habits and take up the silken bonds of duty, all in a moment. The inspiration of a first love gives him the capacity, but he has to learn how to use it. I never saw what I had neglected till I had frightened her away from me. But what is there that I have not done, since then, to win her? I have gone very gently to work and tried from every side to get at her--I have tempted her with gifts and with penitence--but you can see for yourself she shrinks from me more and more. My thoughts, wearied with longings and with the strain of inventing new devices, follow her, and my love for her only grows--but there are times when such thoughts are succeeded by a void so great that my whole life seems slipping away into it. It is then I need some one to cling to--. Oh, Mathilde, you have meant very much to me at times like that. (Goes up to her.) Mathilde (getting up). Yes, all sorts of things happen in a year that one never thought of at the beginning of it. Axel (sitting down). Good God, what a year! I haven't the courage to face another like it. This book has frightened me. Mathilde (aside). That's a good thing, anyway. Axel (getting up). Besides--the amount of work I have to do, to keep up everything here just as she was accustomed to have it, is getting to be too much for me, Mathilde. It won't answer in the long run. If only I had the reward of thanks that the humblest working-man gets-if it were only a smile; but when I have been travelling about for a week at a time, exposed to all sorts of weather in these open boats in winter, do I get any welcome on my home-coming? When I sit up late, night after night, does she ever realise whom I am doing it for? Has she as much as noticed that I have done so--or that I have, at great expense, furnished this house like her parents'? No, she takes everything as a matter of course; and if any one were to say to her, "He has done all this for your sake," she would merely answer, "He need not have done so, I had it all in my own home." Mathilde. Yes, you have come to a turning-point now. Axel. What do you mean? Mathilde. Nothing particular--here she comes! Axel. Has anything happened? She is in such a hurry! [LAURA comes in with an open letter in her hand.] Laura (in a low voice, to MATHILDE). Mother and father are so lonely at home that they are going abroad, to Italy; but they are coming here, Mathilde, before they leave the country. Mathilde. Coming here? When? Laura. Directly. I hadn't noticed--the letter is written from the nearest posting station; they want to take us by surprise--they will be here in a few minutes. Good heavens, what are we to do? Mathilde (quickly). Tell Axel that! Laura. I tell him? Mathilde. Yes, you must. Laura (in a frightened voice). I? Mathilde (to AXEL). Laura has something she wants to tell you. Laura. Mathilde! Axel. This is something new. Laura. Oh, do tell him, Mathilde. (MATHILDE says nothing, but goes to the back of the room.) Axel (coming up to her). What is it? Laura (timidly). My parents are coming. Axel. Here? Laura. Yes. Axel. When? To-day? Laura. Yes. Almost directly. Axel. And no one has told me! (Takes up his hat to go.) Laura (frightened). Axel! Axel. It is certainly not for the pleasure of finding me here that they are coming. Laura. But you mustn't go! Mathilde. No, you mustn't do that. Axel. Are they not going to put up here? Laura. Yes, I thought--if you are willing--in your room. Axel. So that is what it is to be--I am to go away and they are to take my place. Mathilde. Take my room, and I will move into Laura's. I will easily arrange that. (Goes out.) Axel. Why all this beating about the bush? It is quite natural that you should want to see them, and equally natural that I should remove myself when they come; only you should have broken it to me--a little more considerately. Because I suppose they are coming now to take you with them--and, even if it means nothing to you to put an end to everything like this, at all events you ought to know what it means to me! Laura. I did not know till this moment that they were coming. Axel. But it must be your letters that have brought them here--your complaints-- Laura. I have made no complaints. Axel. You have only told them how matters stand here. Laura. Never. (A pause.) Axel (in astonishment). What have you been writing to them all this year, then--a letter every day? Laura. I have told them everything was going well here. Axel. Is it possible? All this time? Laura! Dare I believe it? Such consideration--(Comes nearer to her.) Ah, at last, then--? Laura (frightened). I did it out of consideration for them. Axel (coldly). For them? Well, I am sorry for them, then. They will soon see how things stand between us. Laura. They are only to be here a day or two. Then they go abroad. Axel. Abroad? But I suppose some one is going with them?--you, perhaps? Laura. You can't, can you? Axel. No.--So you are going away from me, Laura!--I am to remain here with Mathilde--it is just like that book. Laura. With Mathilde? Well--perhaps Mathilde could go with them? Axel. You know we can't do without her here--as things are at present. Laura. Perhaps you would rather I--? Axel. There is no need for you to ask my leave. You go if you wish. Laura. Yes, you can do without _me_.--All the same, I think I shall stay! Axel. You will stay--with me? Laura. Yes. Axel (in a happier voice, coming up to her). _That_ is not out of consideration for your parents? Laura. No, that it isn't! (He draws back in astonishment. MATHILDE comes in.) Mathilde. It is all arranged. (To AXEL.) You will stay, then? Axel (looking at LAURA). I don't know.--If I go away for these few days, perhaps it will be better. Mathilde (coming forward). Very well, then I shall go away too! Laura. You? Axel. You? Mathilde. Yes, I don't want to have anything to do with what happens. (A pause.) Axel. What do you think will happen? Mathilde. That is best left unsaid--till anything does happen. (A pause.) Axel. You are thinking too hardly of your friend now. Laura (quietly). Mathilde is not my friend. Axel. Mathilde not your-- Laura (as before). A person who is always deceiving one is no friend. Axel. Has Mathilde deceived anybody? You are unjust. Laura (as before). Am I? It is Mathilde's fault that I am unhappy now. Axel. Laura! Laura. My dear, you may defend her, if you choose; but you must allow me to tell you plainly that it is Mathilde's advice that has guided me from the days of my innocent childhood, and has led me into all the misery I am suffering now! If it were not for her I should not be married to-day and separated from my parents. She came here with me--not to help me, as she pretended--but to be able still to spy on me, quietly and secretly, in her usual way, and afterwards to make use of what she had discovered. But she devotes herself to you; because she--no, I won't say it! (With growing vehemence.) Well, just you conspire against me, you two--and see whether I am a child any longer! The tree that you have torn up by the roots and transplanted will yield you no fruit for the first year, however much you shake its branches! I don't care if things do happen as they do in that story she has taken such pleasure in reading to me; but I shall never live to see the day when I shall beg for any one's love! And now my parents are coming to see everything, everything--and that is just what I want them to do! Because I won't be led like a child, and I won't be deceived! I won't! (Stands quite still for a moment, then bursts into a violent fit of crying and runs out.) Axel (after a pause). What is the meaning of that? Mathilde. She hates me. Axel (astonished). When did it come to that? Mathilde. Little by little. Is it the first time you have noticed it? Axel (still more astonished). Have you no longer her confidence, then? Mathilde. No more than you. Axel. She, who once believed every one--! Mathilde. Now she believes no one. (A pause.) Axel. And what is still more amazing--only there is no mistaking it--is that she is jealous! Mathilde. Yes. Axel. And of you?--When there is not the slightest foundation--. (Stops involuntarily and looks at her; she crosses the room.) Mathilde. You should only be glad that this has happened. Axel. That she is jealous?--or what do you mean? Mathilde. It has helped her. She is on the high road to loving you now. Axel. Now? Mathilde. Love often comes in that way--especially to the one who has been made uneasy. Axel. And you are to be the scapegoat? Mathilde. I am accustomed to that. Axel (quickly, as he comes nearer to her). You must have known love yourself, Mathilde? Mathilde (starts, then says). Yes, I have loved too. Axel. Unhappily? Mathilde. Not happily. But why do you ask? Axel. Those who have been through such an experience are less selfish than the rest of us and are capable of more. Mathilde. Yes. Love is always a consecration, but not always for the same kind of service. Axel. Sometimes it only brings unhappiness. Mathilde. Yes, when people have nothing in them, and no pride. Axel. The more I get to know of you, the less I seem really to know you. What sort of a man can this fellow be, that you have loved without return? Mathilde (in a subdued voice). A man to whom I am now very grateful; because marriage is not my vocation. Axel. What is your vocation, then? Mathilde. One that one is unwilling to speak about, until one knows that it has been successful.--And I don't believe I should have discovered it, but for him. Axel. And is your mind quite at peace now? Have you no longings? Mathilde (speaking here, and in what follows, with some vehemence). Yes, a longing to travel--a long, long way! To fill my soul with splendid pictures!--Oh, if you have any regard for me-- Axel. I have more than that, Mathilde--the warmest gratitude--and more than that, I-- Mathilde (interrupting him). Well, then, make it up with Laura! Then I shall be able to go abroad with her parents. Oh, if I don't get away--far away--there is something within me that will die! Axel. Go away then, Mathilde--you say so, and therefore I believe you. Mathilde. But I am not going till you two are reconciled! I don't want all three of us to be unhappy. No, I am not unhappy; but I shall be if you are--and if I don't get abroad now! Axel. What can I do in the matter? Mathilde (quickly). Stay here and give the old folk a welcome! Behave to Laura as if there were nothing the matter, and she will say nothing! Axel. Why do you think she will say nothing? Mathilde. Because of all I have done to make that likely! Axel. You? Mathilde. Yes--no--yes; at least, not as you wanted me to, but indirectly-- Axel. Even at the beginning of all this? Mathilde. No, not then, it is true. But forget that, because now I have made it good! I did not know you then--and there were reasons-- Axel (going nearer to her). Mathilde, you have filled me with an extraordinary regard for you--as if everything that I have been denied in another quarter was to be found in you, and as if now for the first time I-- Mathilde. There is the carriage! Axel. What shall I do? Mathilde. Go down and welcome the old folk! Be quick! Look, Laura is down there already--oh, don't let her miss you just at this moment! There, that is right. (He goes.) Yes, that was right; this is my first real victory! (Goes out. Voices are heard without, and soon afterwards the MOTHER comes in with LAURA, and after her the FATHER with AXEL and MATHILDE.) Mother. So here I am in your home, my darling child! (Kisses her.) It is really worth being separated, for the pleasure of meeting again! (Kisses her.) And such nice letters from you, every single day--thank you, darling! (Kisses her again.) And you look just the same--just the same! Perhaps a trifle paler, but that is natural. (Kisses her.) Axel (to the FATHER, who is taking off a coat and several comforters). May I? Father (bowing). Thank you, I can manage quite well myself. Axel. But let me hang them up for you? Father. Much obliged--I will do it myself! (Takes them out into the hall.) Mother (to LAURA, in a low voice). It was hard work to get your father to come, I can tell you. He still cannot forget--. But we had to see our little girl before we set off on our travels; and we had to travel, because it was getting so lonely at home. Laura. Dear mother! (She and MATHILDE help her to take her things off.) Axel (to the FATHER, who has come in again). I hope you had a pleasant journey, sir? Father. Remarkably pleasant. Axel. Caught no cold, I hope? Father. Nothing to speak of--just a trifle--a slightly relaxed throat; out late--and heavy dews. You are well? Axel. Very well, thank you. Father. I am extremely pleased to hear it. Mother (to the FATHER). But, do you see--? Father. What, my love? Mother. Do you mean to say you don't see? Father. No, what is it? Mother. We are at home again! This is our own room over again! Father (in astonishment). Upon my word--! Mother. The carpet, the curtains, the furniture, everything--even down to their arrangement in the room! (Goes across to AXEL and takes his hand.) A more touching proof of your love for her we could never have had! (To the FATHER.) Isn't that so? Father (struggling with his astonishment). Yes, I must say-- Mother. And you never wrote us a single word about this, Laura? Mathilde. It is not only this room, but the whole house is arranged like yours as far as possible. Mother. The whole house! Is it possible! Father. It is the most charming way of giving pleasure to a young wife that I ever heard of! Mother. I am so astonished, Laura, at your never having mentioned a word of all this in your letters. Father. Never a word of it! Mother. Hadn't you noticed it? Father. Ah, well--what one sees every day, one is apt to think every one knows all about--isn't that it, little girl? That is the explanation, isn't it? Mother. And Axel has given you all this by his own exertions! Aren't you proud of that? Father (clapping her on the back). Of course she is, but it was never Laura's way to say much about her feelings; although this is really something so-- Mother (laughing). Her letters lately have been nothing but dissertations upon love. Laura. Mother--! Mother. Oh, I am going to tell! But you have a good husband, Laura. Laura. Mother--! Mother (in a lower voice). You have paid him some little attentions in return, of course?--given him something, or-- Father (pushing in between them). Worked something for him, eh? (MATHILDE, in the meantime, has brought in wine and filled some glasses.) Axel. Now, a glass of wine to welcome you--sherry, your favourite wine, sir. Mother. He remembers that! (They each take a glass in their hands.) Axel. Laura and I bid you heartily welcome here in our house! And we hope you will find everything here--(with emotion) just as you would wish it. I will do my best that you shall, and I am sure Laura will too. Mother. Of course she will!--Drink his health! (AXEL touches her glass with his; her hand trembles, and she spills come wine.) You have filled the glasses too full, my dear! (They all clink glasses and drink.) Father (when the glasses have been filled again). My wife and I--thank you very much for your welcome. We could not set out on our journey without first seeing our child--our two children. A good friend of ours (looking at MATHILDE) advised us to come unexpectedly. At first we did not want to but now we are glad we did; because now we can see for ourselves that Laura told the truth in her letters. You are happy--and therefore we old folk must be happy too, and bury all recollection of what--what evidently happened for the best. Hm, hm!--At one time we could not think it was so--and that was why we did not wish to be parted from our child; but now we can make our minds quite easy about it--because now we can trust you. I have complete trust in you, Axel, my dear son--God bless you! (They grasp hands, and drink to each other again.) Mother. Do you know what I should like? All. No! Mother. I should like Axel to tell us how your reconciliation came about. Laura. Mother! Mother. Why should you be shy about it? Why have you never told us about it? Good gracious, didn't you think your parents would be only too glad to hear how lucky their little girl was? Father. I think it is a very good idea of your mother's. Now let us sit down and hear all about it. (They sit down; LAURA turns away.) No, come and sit down beside your mother, Laura! We are going to have a good look at you while he tells us about it. (Pulls her to him.) Mother. And don't forget anything, Axel! Tell us of the very first sign of love, the first little kindness, Laura showed you. Axel. Yes, I will tell you how it came about. Laura (getting up). But, Axel--! Axel. I shall only be supplementing what you told in your letters, Laura. Mother. It is all to your credit, my child! Now be quiet and listen to him, and correct him if he forgets anything. (Pulls her down to her seat again.) Axel. Yes, my dear parents. You know, of course, that we did not begin very well-- Father. Quite so--but you can pass over that. Axel. As soon as she was left to depend on herself alone, I realised the great wrong I had done to Laura. She used to tremble when I came near her, and before long she used to tremble just as much before any one. At first I felt the humility of a strong man who has triumphed; but after a time I became anxious, for I had acted too strongly. Then I dedicated my love to the task of winning back, in a Jacob's seven years of service, what I had lost in one moment. You see this house--I made everything smooth in it for her feet. You see what we have round us--I set that before her eyes. By means of nights of work, by exerting myself to the uttermost, I got it all together, bit by bit--in order that she should never feel anything strange or inhospitable in her home, but only what she was accustomed to and fond of. She understood; and soon the birds of spring began to flutter about our home. And, though she always ran away when I came, I was conscious of her presence in a hundred little loving touches in my room--at my desk-- Laura (ashamed). Oh, it isn't true! Axel. Don't believe her! Laura is so kind-hearted--her fear of me made her shy, but she could not withstand her own kind impulses and my humble faithfulness. When I was sitting late in my room, working for her, she was sitting up in hers--at any rate I often thought I heard her footstep; and when I came home late after a wearisome journey, if she did not run to welcome me, it was not because she was wanting in wifely gratitude--Laura has no lack of that--but because she did not wish to betray her happiness till the great day of our reconciliation should come. (LAURA gets up.) Father. Then you were not reconciled immediately? Axel. Not immediately. Mother (anxiously, in a subdued voice). My goodness, Laura did not say a word about that! Axel. Because she loved you, and did not want to distress you unnecessarily. But does not her very silence about it show that she was waiting for me? That was her love's first gift to me. (LAURA sits down again.) After a while she gave me others. She saw that I was not angry; on the contrary, she saw that where I had erred, I had erred through my love for her; and she is so loving herself, that little by little she schooled herself to meet me in gentle silence--she longed to be a good wife. And then, one lovely morning--just like to-day--we both had been reading a book which was like a voice from afar, threatening our happiness, and we were driven together by fear. Then, all at once, all the doors and windows flew wide open! It was your letter! The room seemed to glow with warmth--just as it does now with you sitting there; summer went singing through the house--and then I saw in her eyes that all the blossoms were going to unfold their petals! Then I knelt down before her, as I do now, and said: For your parents' sake, that they may be happy about us--for my sake, that I may not be punished any longer--for your own sake, that you may be able again to live as the fulness of your kind heart prompts--let us find one another now! And then Laura answered--(LAURA throws herself into his arms, in a burst of tears. All get up.) Mother. That was beautiful, children! Father. As beautiful as if we were young again ourselves, and had found one another!--How well he told it, too! Mother. Yes, it was just as if it was all happening before our eyes! Father. Wasn't it?--He's a very gifted man. Mother (in a low voice). He will do something big! Father (in the same tones). Ay, a big man--and one of our family! Axel (who has advanced towards the foreground with LAURA). So that was your answer, Laura? Laura. You haven't remembered everything. Mother. Is there something more? Let us hear some more! Axel. What did you say, then? Laura. You know I said that something had held me back a long, long time! I saw well enough that you were fond of me, but I was afraid it was only as you would be fond of a child. Axel. Laura! Laura. I am not so clever as--as some others, you know; but I am not a child any longer, because now I love you! Axel. You are a child, all the same! Father (to the MOTHER). But what about our arrangements? We were to have gone on our travels at once. Axel. No, stay with us a few days now! (LAURA makes a sign to him.) Not? Laura (softly). I would rather be alone with you, now. Mother. What are you saying, Laura? Laura. I?--I was saying that I should like to ask you, if you are going abroad now, to take Mathilde with you. Mother. That is very nice of you, Laura, to remember Mathilde. People generally say that newly-married couples think of no one but themselves. Father. No, Laura is not like that! All. No, Laura is not like that! Laura (gently). Mathilde, forgive me! (They embrace, and LAURA says softly:) I understand you now for the first time! Mathilde. Not quite. Laura. I know that I should never have got Axel, but for you. Mathilde. That is true. Laura. Oh, Mathilde, I am so happy now! Mathilde. And I wish you every happiness. Axel (taking LAURA'S arm). Now you may go and travel abroad, Mathilde! Mathilde. Yes!--and my next book shall be a better one. Axel. Your next--? [Curtain.] LEONARDA A PLAY IN FOUR ACTS DRAMATIS PERSONAE The BISHOP. CORNELIA, his sister. HAGBART, his nephew. The GRANDMOTHER. LEONARDA FALK. AAGOT, her niece. GENERAL ROSEN. CHIEF JUSTICE ROeST. MRS. ROeST. PEDERSEN, agent to Mrs. Falk. HANS. A Maid. ACT I (SCENE.--A large room in LEONARDA FALK's house. At the back, folding doors which are standing open. Antique furniture. LEONARDA, dressed in a riding-habit, is standing beside a writing-desk on the left, talking to her agent PEDERSEN.) Leonarda. It is a complete loss. Pedersen. But, Mrs. Falk-- Leonarda. A loss, every scrap of it. I can't sell burnt bricks. How much is there of it? Two kilns' full, that is 24,000 bricks--at their present price about thirty pounds' worth. What am I to do with you?--send you about your business? Pedersen. Madam, it is the first time-- Leonarda. No, indeed it is not; that is to say, it is certainly the first time the bricks have been burnt, but your accounts have been wrong over and over again, so that I have been led into sending out faulty invoices. What is the matter with you? Pedersen. Madam, I beg--. [Enter HANS.] Hans. Your horse is saddled, madam, and the General is coming up the avenue. Leonarda. Very well. (HANS goes out.) Have you taken to drink, Pedersen? Pedersen. No, madam. Leonarda. That wouldn't be like you. But what is it? You look quite changed.--Pedersen! I believe I know! I saw you rowing back across the river last night, from the summer-house in the wood. Are you in love? (PEDERSEN turns away.) So that is it. And crossed in love? (She goes up to him, puts her hand on his shoulder and stands with her back turned to the audience, as he does.) Are you engaged to her? Pedersen. Yes. Leonarda. Then she is not treating you well? She is not true to you? (Stoops and looks into his face.) And you love her in spite of it? (Moves away from him.) Then you are a weak man, Pedersen. We cannot possibly love those who are false to us. (Draws on one of her gloves.) We may suffer horribly for a while; but love them--no! Pedersen (still turning away from her). It is easy for those to talk who have not experienced it. Leonarda. Experienced it?--You never can tell that. Come to me this evening at seven o'clock. Pedersen. Yes, madam. Leonarda. I will talk things over with you then. We will go for a stroll together. Pedersen. Thank you, madam. Leonarda. I believe I may be able to help you in your trouble, Pedersen. That is all right--don't think any more about the bricks, or of what I said. Forgive me! (Holds out her hand to him.) Pedersen (grasping her hand). Oh, madam! [Enter GENERAL ROSEN.] Rosen. Good morning! (PEDERSEN crosses the room.) Bless my soul, Pedersen, you look like a pat of melting butter! (PEDERSEN goes out. ROSEN turns to LEONARDA.) Have you been playing father confessor so early in the morning, and on such a fine day too? That is too bad.--By the way, have you heard from Aagot? Leonarda (putting on her hat). No, I don't know what has come over the child. It is close on a fortnight since-- Rosen. She is enjoying herself. I remember when I was enjoying myself I never used to write letters. Leonarda (looking at him). You were enjoying yourself last night, I rather think? Rosen. Do I show it? Dear, dear! I thought that after a bath and a ride-- Leonarda. This sort of thing cannot go on! Rosen. You know quite well that if I can't be here I have to go to my club. Leonarda. But can't you go to your club without--? (Stops, with a gesture of disgust.) Rosen. I know what you mean, worse luck. But they always give one a glass too much. Leonarda. One glass? Say three! Rosen. Three, if you like. You know I never was good at counting. Leonarda. Well, now you can go for your ride alone. Rosen. Oh, but-- Leonarda. Yes, I am not going for a ride to-day with a man who was tipsy last night. (Takes off her hat.) Hans! (HANS is heard answering her from without.) Put my horse up for the present! Rosen. You are punishing yourself as well as me, you know. You ought to be out on a day like this--and it is a sin to deprive the countryside of the pleasure of seeing you! Leonarda. Will nothing ever make you take things seriously? Rosen. Yes. When the day comes that you are in need of anything, I will be serious. Leonarda. And you propose to hang about here waiting, till I have some ill luck? You will have to wait a long time, I hope. (Goes to her desk.) Rosen. I hope so too!--because meanwhile I shall be able to continue coming here. Leonarda. Till you get your orders from America. Rosen. Of course--till I get my orders from Sherman. Leonarda. You have not had any orders, then? Rosen. No. Leonarda. It is beginning to look very suspicious. How long is it since I made you write to him? Rosen. Oh, I am sure I forget. Leonarda. It has just struck me--. I suppose you did write? Rosen. Of course I did. I always do what you tell me. Leonarda. You stand there twirling your moustache--and when you do that I always know there is some nonsense going on--. Rosen. How can you suppose such a thing? Leonarda. You have never written! Why on earth did that never strike me before? Rosen. I have written repeatedly, I assure you! Leonarda. But not to Sherman? You have not reported yourself for service again? Rosen. Do you remember the Russian cigarettes I have so often spoken of? I have got some now. I brought a few with me to try; may I offer you one? Leonarda. Are you not ashamed to look me in the face? Rosen. I do everything you tell me-- Leonarda. You have been putting me off with evasions for more than two months--playing a perfect comedy with me! To think that an officer, who has been through the American war and won honours, rank, and a definite position, could throw away his time in this way--and in other ways too--for a whole year now-- Rosen. Excuse me--only eight months. Leonarda. And isn't that long enough? Rosen. Too long. But you know, better than any one, why I have done it! Leonarda. Did I ask you to come here? Do you think you can tire me out? Rosen. Leonarda! (She looks at him; he bows formally.) I beg your pardon. Mrs. Falk. Leonarda. You shall write the letter here, now, and report yourself for immediate service. Rosen. If you order me to. Leonarda. I shall post it. Rosen. Many thanks. Leonarda. You are twirling your moustache again. What are you planning in your mind? Rosen. I?--Shall I write here? (Goes to the desk.) Leonarda. Yes. (He takes up a pen.) Ah, I know what it is! As soon as you get home, you will write another letter recalling this one. Rosen. Yes, naturally. Leonarda. Ha, ha, ha! (Sits down.) Well, I give you up! Rosen. Thank you!--Then will you try one of my cigarettes? Leonarda. No. Rosen. Nor come for a ride? Leonarda. No. Rosen. Am I to come here this evening? Leonarda. I shall be engaged. Rosen. But you will be riding to-morrow morning? Leonarda. I don't know. Rosen. Then I shall take the liberty of coming to ask I wish you a very good day. Leonarda. Look, there is a strange man at the door (Gets up.) Rosen. What? (Turns round.) He? Has he the face to come here? (Looks out of the open window.) Pst! Pst!--Hans!--Don't you see my horse has got loose? (Goes hurriedly out past the stranger, who bows to him.) Pst! Pst! [Enter HAGBART.] Hagbart. Madam! (Stops short.) Leonarda. May I ask--? Hagbart. You do not know me, then? Leonarda. No. Hagbart. I am Hagbart Tallhaug. Leonarda. And you dare to tell me so--with a smile on your lips? Hagbart. If you will only allow me to-- Leonarda. How is it you dare to come here? Hagbart. If you will only allow me to-- Leonarda. Not a word! Or can there be two men of that name? Hagbart. No. Leonarda. So it was you who came forward at the Philharmonic concert, when I was seeking admittance for myself and my adopted daughter, and spoke of me as "a woman of doubtful reputation"? Is that so? Hagbart. Yes, madam; and I must-- Leonarda (interrupting him impetuously). Then get out of here!--Hans! (HANS is heard answering her from without.) Hagbart. Mrs. Falk, first allow me to--. [Enter HANS.] Leonarda. Hans, will you see this gentleman off my premises. Hans. Certainly, ma'am. Hagbart. Wait a moment, Hans! Hans. Shall I, ma'am? (Looks at LEONARDA.) Hagbart. It concerns your niece, Mrs. Falk. Leonarda. Aagot! Has anything happened to her? I have had no letter from her! Hagbart. Wait outside, Hans! Hans (to LEONARDA). Shall I, ma'am? Leonarda. Yes, yes! (HANS goes out.) What is it? Hagbart. No bad news. Leonarda. But how is it you are here on her behalf? Hagbart. It is difficult to avoid people at a watering-place, you know--although I must admit your niece did her best. She treated me as contemptuously as possible even went farther than that; but she could not prevent my talking to people she used to talk to, or my happening to be where she was; so that--well--she heard them talk about me, and heard me talk to them--and in the end she talked to me herself. Leonarda. Talked to you? Hagbart. Yes, it is no good denying it--she actually talked to me, and that more than once. Leonarda. But what is the meaning of this visit to me? Hagbart. If you will only allow me to-- Leonarda. I want you to deliver your message briefly and concisely--and not a word more than that. Hagbart. But I cannot do that until you have allowed me to-- Leonarda. Whether you can or not, I shall allow nothing else. I am not going to give you an excuse for saying that you have been holding conversations with me too. Hagbart. If you have no objection, I am in love with your niece, Mrs. Falk. Leonarda. You? With Aagot?--It serves you right! Hagbart. I know. Leonarda. Ha, ha! That is how the land lies. [HANS appears at the open door.] Hans. Can I go now, ma'am? Leonarda. Ha, ha!--Yes, you can go. (Exit HANS ) Well, what more have you to tell me? Have you given Aagot any hint of this? Hagbart. Yes. Leonarda. And what answer did you get?--You are silent. Do you find it difficult to tell me? Hagbart. I am very glad you take it so well, Mrs. Falk. Leonarda. Yes, it's funny, isn't it?--Well, what did Aagot say? She generally has plenty to say. Hagbart. Indeed she has. We came here to-day by the same boat-- Leonarda. By the same boat? Aagot and you? Have you been persecuting her? Hagbart. Mrs. Falk, you cannot possibly understand if you will not allow me to-- Leonarda. I wish to hear the rest of it from my niece, as I suppose she will be here directly. Hagbart. Of course, but still-- Leonarda. There will be no more of that sort of thing here! If you intend to persecute my niece with your attentions in the same way as you have persecuted me with your malice, you are at liberty to try. But you shall not come here! I can forbid it here. Hagbart. But, my dear Mrs. Falk-- Leonarda. I am really beginning to lose my patience, or rather I have lost it already. What have you come here for? Hagbart. As there is no help for it--well, I will tell you straight out, although it may be a shock to you--I am here to ask for your niece's hand. Leonarda (taking up her gloves). If I were a man, so that there should be nothing "doubtful" about my reply, I would strike you across the face with my gloves. Hagbart. But you are a woman, so you will not. [Enter HANS.] Hans. Here is Miss Aagot, ma'am. Aagot (from without). Aunt! Leonarda. Aagot! [Enter AAGOT. HANS goes out.] Aagot. Aunt!--That wretched Hans! I was signalling to him--I wanted to surprise you. (Throws herself into LEONARDA'S arms.) Leonarda. Child, have you deceived me? Aagot. Deceived you? I? Leonarda. I knew it! (Embraces her.) Forgive me! I had a moment's horrible doubt--but as soon as I looked at you it was gone!--Welcome, welcome! How pretty you look! Welcome! Aagot. Oh, aunt! Leonarda. What is it? Aagot. You know. Leonarda. His shameless persecution of you? Yes! (Meanwhile HAGBART has slipped out.) Aagot. Hush!--Oh, he has gone!--Have you been cross with him? Leonarda. Not as cross as he deserved-- Aagot. Didn't I tell him so? Leonarda (laughing). What did you tell him? Aagot. How hasty you could be!--Were you really cruel to him? Leonarda. Do you mean to say you have any sympathy--with him? Aagot. Have I any--? But, good heavens, hasn't he told you? Leonarda. What? Aagot. That he--that I--that we--oh, aunt, don't look so dreadfully at me!--You don't know, then? Leonarda. No! Aagot. Heaven help me! Aunt--! Leonarda. You don't mean to say that you--? Aagot. Yes, aunt. Leonarda. With him, who--. In spite of that, you--Get away from me! Aagot. Dear, darling aunt, listen to me! Leonarda. Go away to him! Away with you! Aagot. Have you looked at him, aunt? Have you seen how handsome he is? Leonarda. Handsome? He! Aagot. No, not a bit handsome, of course! Really, you are going too far! Leonarda. To me he is the man who made a laughingstock of me in a censorious little town by calling me "a woman of doubtful reputation." And one day he presents himself here as my adopted daughter's lover, and you expect me to think him handsome! You ungrateful child! Aagot. Aunt! Leonarda. I have sacrificed eight years of my life--eight years--in this little hole, stinting myself in every possible way; and you, for whom I have done this, are hardly grown up before you fly into the arms of a man who has covered me with shame. And I am supposed to put up with it as something quite natural!--and to say nothing except that I think he is handsome! I--I won't look at you! Go away! Aagot (in tears). Don't you suppose I have said all that to myself, a thousand times? That was why I didn't write. I have been most dreadfully distressed to know what to do. Leonarda. At the very first hint of such a thing you might to have taken refuge here--with me--if you had had a scrap of loyalty in you. Aagot. Aunt! (Goes on her knees.) Oh, aunt! Leonarda. To think you could behave so contemptibly! Aagot. Aunt!--It was just because he was so sorry for the way he had behaved to you, that I first-- Leonarda. Sorry? He came here with a smile on his lips! Aagot. That was because he was in such a fright, aunt. Leonarda. Do people smile because they are in a fright? Aagot. Others don't, but he does. Do you know, dear, he was just the same with me at first--he smiled and looked so silly; and afterwards he told me that it was simply from fright. Leonarda. If he had felt any qualms of conscience at all, as you pretend he did, he would at least have taken the very first opportunity to apologise. Aagot. Didn't he do that? Leonarda. No; he stood here beating about the bush and smiling-- Aagot. Then you must have frightened the sense out of him, aunt. He is shy, you know.--Aunt, let me tell you he is studying for the church. Leonarda. Oh, he is that too, is he! Aagot. Of course he is. You know he is the bishop's nephew, and is studying for the church, and of course that is what made him so prejudiced. But his behaviour that day was just what opened his eyes--because he is very kind-hearted. Dear, darling aunt-- Leonarda. Get up! It is silly to lie there like that. Where did you learn that trick? Aagot (getting up). I am sure I don't know. But you frighten me so. (Cries.) Leonarda. I can't help that. You frightened me first, you know, child. Aagot. Yes, but it is all quite different from what you think, aunt. He is no longer our enemy. He has reproached himself so genuinely for treating you as he did--it is perfectly true, aunt. We all heard him say so. He said so first to other people, so that it should come round to me; and then I heard him saying so to them; and eventually he told me so, in so many words. Leonarda. Why did you not write and tell me? Aagot. Because you are not like other people, aunt! If I had as much as mentioned he was there, you would have told me to come home again at once. You aren't like others, you know. Leonarda. But how in the world did it come about that you--? Aagot. You know, dear, that if any one sings _your_ praises, that is enough to make me their friend at once. And when, to crown all, this man did it who had behaved so unjustly to you, you can well believe that I went about singing for joy all day. That was the beginning of it-- Leonarda. Yes, tell me the whole story. Aagot. That would be simply impossible, aunt! It would take me days!--But I can tell you this, that I had no idea what it was that was upsetting my nerves in such a manner. Leonarda. If you felt like that, why did you not come away? Aagot. That was just what I did! But that was also just what made the whole thing happen! Leonarda. How? Try and tell me a little more calmly and consecutively! Aagot. Thank you, aunt! It is good of you to listen to me! Good heavens, how I--. (Bursts into tears.) Leonarda. There--there! Tell me all about it from beginning to end. Aagot. Yes--I was quite feverish for about a week--I thought I was ill--and the others kept asking what was the matter with me. And really I didn't know. There is a whole heap of things I could tell you about those few days--but you wouldn't be able to understand. Leonarda. Yes, I should. Aagot. No, you couldn't possibly! I can't, either. I was so wretched then--and now I am so happy-- Leonarda. Well, tell me about it another time. But how did things come to a head? Aagot. He spoke to me--straight out! Leonarda. Proposed to you? Aagot. Yes.--Oh, I feel I am blushing again at the very thought of it. Leonarda. And you looked foolish? Aagot. I don't know what I looked like! Leonarda. What did you do? Aagot. I gave one scream--a real good scream--and ran; ran home, packed my trunk, and got on board the boat as quick as I could. Leonarda. And was that all? Aagot. All? It happened out of doors amongst all the people. Leonarda. Aagot! Aagot. It happened so frightfully unexpectedly. I never was so frightened in my life--and so ashamed of myself afterwards. I did nothing but cry on the boat, all the way. Leonarda. But he must have come by the same boat. Aagot. Just fancy, he had travelled overland across the promontory and caught the boat on the other side. And I knew nothing about it till I saw him before my eyes! I thought I should sink through the deck. I wanted to run away then, but--oh, aunt, I couldn't! He looked at me with such a wonderful look in his eyes, and took hold of my hands. He spoke to me, but I don't know what he said; everything seemed to be going round and round. And his eyes, aunt! Ah, you haven't looked at them, and that is why you took it so--so-- Leonarda. No, dear. Aagot. There is something about his mere presence--something so true. And when he looks at me and says--not in words, you know, but still says all the same "I love you so much," I tremble all over. Oh, aunt, kiss me!--There! Thank heaven!--Do you know what he said to-day? Leonarda. No. Aagot. That the woman who had fostered--that was the word he used--such a solemn word, but then he is studying for the church--well, that the woman who had fostered such a girl--he meant me, you know--I thought of all my faults, but he will get to know them soon enough-- Leonarda. Well? That the woman who had fostered such a girl as you-- Aagot.--as me, could not have her equal anywhere! Leonarda. You must have been praising me up nicely? Aagot. On the contrary. It was afterwards when he said he would come here first, before me--it was his duty, he said, to stand the first shock. "For heaven's sake don't," I said; "you don't know her, she will crush you!" Leonarda. Oh, Aagot! Aagot. It was then that he said, "No, the woman who has fostered such a girl," etcetera, etcetera. Ah, now I see you have been horrid to him. Leonarda. I had been worried all the morning--and I misunderstood-- Aagot. You shall have no more worries after this. Because people are so kind, you know, and you are going to move about among them again. You, who are so good yourself-- Leonarda. No, that is just what I am not. Aagot. You? You are only so very difficult to understand, aunt!--Oh, what is it, dear? Leonarda. I am unhappy, Aagot! Aagot. Why, aunt? About me? Leonarda. You are the sunshine of my life; you have brought light and warmth and gentleness into it--but it is just because of that-- Aagot. Because of that? Aunt, I don't understand you. Leonarda. I am clumsy, I am hard, I am suspicious--wicked. I am a savage, with no more self-restraint than I ever had. What sort of a figure must I cut in his eyes--and in yours? Tell me! Am I not a clumsy, ugly-- Aagot. You are the sweetest woman in the whole work! It is only your indomitable strength and courage and youthfulness-- Leonarda. No, no--tell me the truth! I deserve it! Because, you know, it has been for your sake that for eight years I have only associated with work-people. All that I have will be yours. So have some respect for me, Aagot--tell me the truth! Am I not--what shall I say? Tell me what I am! Aagot. Adorable! Leonarda. No, no! I have never realised as strongly as I do now how I have buried myself all these eight years. All the books I have read about the great movements going on in the world outside have not really enlightened me. All that I have read and thought fades away before the first gleam of life that reaches me from the real world of men and women. I see new beauty merely in your new clothes, your fashionable hat--the colours you are wearing--the way they are blended. They mean something that I know nothing of. You bring a fragrance in with you--a breath of freshness; you are so dainty and full of life; whereas everything here has become so old, so heavy, so disjointed--and my life most of all. Aagot. Well, I must tell you what he said, since you won't believe what I say. Leonarda. But he knew nothing about me? Aagot. No--it only indirectly referred to you. He said he had never wanted so much to get to know any one, as he wanted to get to know you, because seeing much of me had made him discover you--that was the very expression he used! And it was an extraordinary chance that-- Leonarda. Stop! I can't bear to think of it!--To think it should be the very man whom we--we-- Aagot. Hated so!--yes, isn't it extraordinary? Leonarda. The very first time you have been away from me! Aagot. Yes! Leonarda. And you come back in a halo of reconciliation and affection for him! Aagot. But who is responsible for that, I should like to know! And you talk about your life here having made you clumsy and ugly--you, who can manufacture a goddess of victory like me! Leonarda. No, I don't complain when I see you and hear you--when I have you with me! That is worth paying a price for. It was selfish of me to think for a moment that the price was too high. You are in the springtime of your life--while I-- Aagot. You? What is wrong with your life? Leonarda. I am beginning to think my life is over. Aagot. Yours? Your life over? Oh, you pain me by saying such a thing. Leonarda. I am very happy--very happy about all this! Believe me that is so. But you know-- Aagot. I know how tremendously and incomprehensibly you have changed! Leonarda. Go, my child--and bring him back! Aagot. How delicious that sounds! Bring him back! (Gets up, then stops.) Thank you, my dear, sweet, darling aunt! (She runs out. LEONARDA falls into a chair by the table and buries her head in her hands. AAGOT'S voice is heard without: "Yes, come along!" and HAGBART'S, answering: "Is it true?") Aagot (coming in with HAGBART). Come along! (LEONARDA gets up, dries her eyes, and meets them with a smile.) Aunt, here he is! Hagbart. Mrs. Falk! Leonarda. Forgive me! Hagbart. What?--No, you must forgive me! I haven t been able to ask you to! I-- Aagot. We can talk about that another time! Let aunt look at you now! Leonarda. You two won't disappoint one another. I can see that. Aagot. It is wonderfully sweet of you, aunt! Leonarda. Yes, love one another! Bring some beauty, some warmth, some colour into this cold house! Aagot. Oh, aunt--! Leonarda. Have you kissed her yet? (AAGOT moves a little away from HAGBART.) Go on! (They embrace.) Aagot (running from him to LEONARDA). But, dearest aunt, are you crying? Leonarda. Don't bother about me!--Have you told your uncle, the bishop, about it? Hagbart. Not yet. Leonarda. You haven't?--Well, you have the worst of it before you yet, I am afraid. Hagbart. No; now that I have got as far as this, nothing shall stand in my way! Aagot. Do you hear that, aunt? [Curtain.] ACT II (SCENE.--A room in the BISHOP's house, some weeks later. A door at the back of the room leads to another large room. Another door in the right-hand wall; windows in the left. Well forward, by one of the windows, a large easy-chair. Farther back, a writing-desk and chair. On the right, near the door, a couch, and chairs ranged along the wall. Chairs also alongside the door at the back. The Bishop is sitting on the couch, talking to HAGBART.) Bishop. My dear Hagbart, you keep on telling me that you have acted up to your convictions. Very well, do you want to forbid my acting up to mine? Hagbart. You know that all I ask, uncle, is that you will see her and talk to her first. Bishop. But if that is exactly what I don't wish to do? You have made things difficult for us, you know, by choosing a wife out of your own class--although at the same time we have grown fonder of her every day, and are ready to do anything for _her_. But farther than that we cannot go. Do you want to read my letter? Hagbart. No. Bishop. I think you should. It is quite a polite letter. Hagbart. I know you can put things politely enough. But it is the fact, uncle--the fact of your doing it! Bishop. Yes--I cannot alter that. Hagbart. Could you not at all events postpone sending the letter? Bishop. It is sent. Hagbart. Sent? Bishop. This morning. Yes. So there is nothing more to be done. Hagbart. Uncle, you are cruel! Bishop. How can you say that, Hagbart? I have acquiesced in your giving up your clerical career--and Heaven alone knows what a grief that is to me. (Gets up.) But I will not acquiesce in your bringing into my house a woman who does not even bear her husband's name. Do we as much as know who her husband was? She was both married and divorced abroad. And we don't know anything more about her life since then; it is scarcely likely it has been blameless. Since she came here she has never once been to church. She has led a most eccentric life, and lately has been allowing a man of very evil reputation to visit her. Hagbart. General Rosen? Bishop. Yes, General Rosen. He is next door to a drunkard. And he is a dissolute fellow in other ways, too. Hagbart. He goes everywhere, all the same. He even comes here. Bishop. Well, you see, he distinguished himself on military service; he has many sociable qualities, and he is well connected. It is the way of the world. Hagbart. But Mrs. Falk is not to be received? Bishop. She is a woman. Hagbart. How long will this sort of thing be endured? Bishop. Come, come--are you getting those ideas into your head too? You seem to have imbibed a lot of new doctrines lately! Hagbart. You should have seen her and talked to her once at least, before making up your mind. Bishop. I will tell you something in confidence, Hagbart. Justice Rost, who lives out there in the country, has often seen General Rosen coming away from her house at most unseemly hours. I will have nothing to do with women of that sort. Hagbart. What about men of that sort? Bishop. Well, as I said, that is quite another matter. Hagbart. Quite so.--Mrs. Falk takes compassion on the General; she interests herself in him. That is all. Bishop. Did she know him previously, then? Hagbart. Very likely. Bishop. Then she has her own private reasons for acting as she does. Hagbart. Shall I tell you what it is? She has a kinder heart than any of us, and can make a sacrifice more willingly. Bishop. So you know that? Hagbart. Yes. Hers is a finer nature than any of ours; it is more completely developed, intellectually and morally. Bishop. I am listening to you with the profoundest amazement! Hagbart. Oh, don't misunderstand me! She has her faults. Bishop. Really, you admit that!--I want to beg something of you earnestly, Hagbart. Go away for a little while. Hagbart. Go away! Bishop. Yes, to your uncle's, for instance. Only for a week or a fortnight. You need to clear your thoughts, badly--about all sorts of things. Your brain is in a whirl. Hagbart. That is true; but-- Bishop. Speak out! Hagbart. My brain has been in a whirl much longer than you have had any idea of. It has been so ever since that day in winter when I did Mrs. Falk such a horrible injustice. Bishop. Not exactly an injustice, but-- Hagbart. Yes, an injustice! It was a turning point in my life. To think that I should have given way to such a fanatical outburst! It ended in my being terrified at myself--well, I won't bore you with the whole story of my long fight with myself. You saw nothing of it, because I was not here. But at last, when I got ill and had to go away and take the waters, and then happened to see Aagot--the effect on me was more than anything I could have imagined. I seemed to see the truth; mankind seemed different, and I seemed to hear the voice of life itself at last. You cannot imagine the upheaval it caused in me. It must be that she had something within her that I lacked, and had always lacked! It was her wonderful naturalness; everything she did was done with more charm and gaiety than I found in any one else, and she was quite unconscious of it herself. I used to ask myself what was the reason of it--how it could be that it had been her lot to grow up so free and wholesome. I realised that it was because I had been oblivious to what I lacked myself, that I had been so fanatically severe upon others. I knew it is humiliating to confess it, but it is true. I have always been blundering and impetuous.--But what was I going to say? Bishop. You were going to speak about Mrs. Falk, I presume. Hagbart. Yes!--My dear uncle, don't take it amiss. But all this time I have never been able to keep away from her. Bishop. Then it is she you have been talking to? Hagbart. Of course!--and of course, that is to say, to Aagot too. You propose my going away. I cannot! If I could multiply myself by two, or if I could double the length of the days, I should never have enough of being with her! No, I have seen daylight now. On no account can I go away. Bishop. And you call that seeing daylight! Poor boy! Hagbart. I cannot discuss it with you. You would no more understand than you did that day when you took away those books of grandmother's from me and put them in the lumber-room. Bishop. Oh, you are bringing that up again? Well, you are at liberty to do as you please. You shall not have the right to say I have exercised any compulsion. Hagbart. No, uncle, you are very good--to me. Bishop. But there is a new fact to be taken into consideration. I have noticed it for some days. Hagbart. What do you mean? Bishop. In all this conversation we have just had, you have only mentioned Aagot's name twice, at most. Hagbart. But we were not talking about Aagot. Bishop. Are you not in love with her any longer? Hagbart. Not in love with Aagot? (Laughs.) Can you ask that? Do you mean to say--? Bishop. Yes, I mean to say-- Hagbart (laughing again). No, that is quite a misunderstanding on your part, uncle. Bishop. Well, I say it again: go away for a week or a fortnight, Hagbart! Consider the situation from a distance--both your own position and that of others! Hagbart. It is impossible, absolutely impossible, uncle. It would be just as useful to say to me: "Lie down and go to sleep for a week or a fortnight, Hagbart; it will do you good"! No. All my faculties are awake at last--yes, at last--so much so, that sometimes I can scarcely control myself. Bishop. That is the very reason. Hagbart. The very reason why I must go straight ahead, for once in my life! No, I must stay here now.--Well, good morning, uncle! I must go out for a turn. Bishop. Go to call on Mrs. Falk, you mean. Hagbart (laughing). Unfortunately I haven't the face to do that till this afternoon; I was there the whole day yesterday. But our conversation has set all my thoughts agog again, and when I have no means of appeasing them I have to go out and walk. Thank you, uncle, for being so indulgent to me! Bishop. Then you don't wish to read my letter? Hagbart. Ah, that is true--the letter! That upsets the whole thing again. I don't know how I came to forget that. Bishop. You see for yourself how confused and distracted you are. You need to pull yourself together. Go away for a little! Hagbart. It is impossible!--Good-bye, uncle! Bishop. Here is grandmother! [Enter the GRANDMOTHER and CORNELIA.] Hagbart. Good morning, grandmother! Have you slept well? Grandmother (coming forward on CORNELIA's arm). Excellently! Cornelia. She slept well into the morning. Bishop. I am delighted, grandmother. (Takes her other arm.) Grandmother. You needn't shout so loud. It is a fine day to-day and I can hear very well. (To HAGBART.) You didn't come in to see me last night. Hagbart. I came in too late, grandmother. Grandmother. I tell you, you needn't talk so loud. Cornelia. She always wants to make out that she can hear. Grandmother (as they settle her in the big chair by the window). This is a nice seat-- Bishop. And I am always delighted to see you sitting there. Grandmother. The window--and the mirror over there. Cornelia. Yes, it enables you to see everything. Grandmother. How you do shout, all you good people! Bishop. I must go and change my things, if you will excuse me. (Goes out to the right.) Cornelia. Do you want anything more? Grandmother. No, thank you. (CORNELIA goes out at the back.) Hagbart. Dear, good grandmother! You are the only one here who understands me! Grandmother (trying to look round the room). Are we alone? Hagbart. Yes. Grandmother. Has your uncle called on Mrs. Falk? Hagbart. No, worse luck; he has written her a letter. Grandmother. I thought as much. Hagbart. Isn't it shameful, grandmother! He won't see her once, or talk to her, before judging her. Grandmother. They are all alike, these--. Are we alone? Hagbart. Yes, grandmother. Grandmother. You must have patience, Hagbart! You used to be patient. Hagbart. Yes, grandmother. Grandmother. I have seen so many generations--so many different ways of behaving. In my day we were tolerant. Hagbart. I enjoyed reading your books so much, grand mother! Grandmother. Of course you did.--Are we alone? Hagbart. Yes, grandmother. Grandmother. I am quite in love with your fiancee, Hagbart. She is like what girls were in my day. Hagbart. Courageous, weren't they? Grandmother. Yes, and independent. They seem quite different nowadays.--Are we alone? Hagbart. Yes. Grandmother. You get married--and I will come and live with you and her. Hush! Hagbart. Do you mean it? Grandmother. Hush! (Looks out of the window.) There is Justice Rost coming, with his wife. Go and tell your uncle! Hagbart. Yes. Grandmother. I might have expected it. They came up from the country yesterday. Hagbart. Good-bye, then, grandmother! Grandmother. Good-bye, my boy! (HAGBART goes out to the right. The door at the back is opened. CORNELIA ushers in ROeST and MRS. ROeST.) Cornelia. Please walk in! Mrs. Rost. Thank you! You must excuse us for calling so early. We came up from the country yesterday, and my husband has to go to the courts for a little while! Rost. I have to go to the courts to-day. (The BISHOP conies in from the right.) Bishop. Welcome! Rost and Mrs. Rost. Thank you! Mrs. Rost. You must excuse our calling so early; but we came up from the country yesterday, and my husband has to go to the courts to-day. Rost. I have to go to the courts for a little while. Bishop. I know. Mrs. Rost. And there is the old lady in her chair already! Rost. Good morning, my dear madam! Mrs. Rost. Good morning!--No, please don't get up! Grandmother. Oh, I can get up still. Rost. Ah, I wish I were as active as you! Mrs. Rost. My husband was saying to Miss Cornelia only last night-- Grandmother. You need not strain yourself so. I can hear perfectly well. (The others exchange glances.) Rost. I was saying to Miss Cornelia only last night--we met for a few moments after the service-- Grandmother. I know, I know. Rost. I said I had never known any one of over ninety have all their faculties so remarkably clear-- Mrs. Rost.--so remarkably clear as yours! And such good health, too! My husband has suffered a great deal from asthma lately. Rost. I have suffered a great deal from asthma lately. Mrs. Rost. And I from a heart trouble, which-- Grandmother. We did not know anything about such ailments in my day. Mrs. Rost. Isn't she sweet! She doesn't remember that people were sometimes ill in her day. Bishop. Lovely weather we are having! Rost. Delightful weather! I cannot in the least understand how it is that I--. (The BISHOP brings a chair forward for him.) Oh, please don't trouble, my lord! Allow me. Mrs. Rost. My husband must have caught cold. (ROeST sits down.) Cornelia. It certainly was draughty in church last night. Rost. But we sat in the corner farthest from the door. Mrs. Rost. We sat in the corner farthest from the door. That was why we were not able to bid your lordship good evening afterwards. Bishop. There was such a crowd. Rost, Mrs. Rost, and Cornelia. Such a crowd! Mrs. Rost. These services must be a great help in your lordship's labours. Rost. Yes, every one says that. Bishop. Yes, if only the result were something a little more practical. We live in sad times. All three (as before). Sad times! Mrs. Rost. We only just heard yesterday and we met so many friends that I was prevented from asking your sister about it--we have only just heard-- Rost. And that is why we have come here to-day. We believe in being straightforward! Mrs. Rost. Straightforward! That is my husband's motto. Bishop. Probably you mean about Hagbart's engagement? Rost and Mrs. Rost. To Miss Falk? Cornelia. Yes, it is quite true. Mrs. Rost. Really? Cornelia. My brother came to the conclusion that he had no right to oppose it. Rost. Quite so. It must have been a difficult matter for your lordship to decide. Bishop. I cannot deny that it was. Mrs. Rost. How Mr. Tallhaug has changed! Rost. Yes, it seems only the other day he-- Bishop. We must not be too severe on young people in that respect nowadays, Mrs. Rost. Rost. It is the spirit of the time! Bishop. Besides, I must say that the young lady is by no means displeasing to me. Cornelia. My brother has a very good opinion of her--although he finds her manner perhaps a little free, a little too impetuous. Mrs. Rost. But her adoptive mother? Rost. Yes, her adoptive mother! Cornelia. My brother has decided not to call on her. Rost and Mrs. Rost. Really! Mrs. Rost. We are extremely glad to hear that! Rost. It was what we wanted to know! Everybody we met yesterday was anxious to know. Mrs. Rost. Everybody! We were so concerned about it. Cornelia. My brother has written to her, to make it quite clear to her. Rost. Naturally! Mrs. Rost. We are very glad to hear it! Grandmother (looking out of the window). There is a carriage stopping at the door. Cornelia. I thought I heard a carriage, too. (Gets up.) Grandmother. There is a lady getting out of it. Mrs. Rost. A lady?--Good heavens, surely it is not--? (Gets up.) Rost. What do you say? (Gets up.) Cornelia. She has a veil on. Mrs. Rost. I really believe--! (To her husband.) You look, my dear--you know her. Rost. It is she; I recognise her coachman Hans. Bishop (who has got up). But perhaps it is Miss Aagot? Cornelia. No, it is not Miss Aagot.--She is in the house by this time. What are we to do? Mrs. Rost. Has she not had your lordship's letter? Bishop. Yes, this morning. Rost. And in spite of that--? Bishop. Perhaps for that very reason. Ahem!--Cornelia, you must go down and-- Cornelia. Not on any account! I refuse! Mrs. Rost (to her husband). Come, dear! Be quick, let us get away. (Looks for her parasol.) Where is my parasol? Bishop (in a low voice). Won't you wait a little while Mr. Rost? Rost. Oho! Mrs. Rost. My parasol! I can't find my parasol. Rost. Because you have got it in your hand, my love! Mrs. Rost. So I have! You see how upset I am. Make haste--come along! Can we get out this way? Rost. Through the Bishop's bedroom! Mrs. Rost. Oh!--But if you come with me, my dear!--Are we to meet this woman? Why do you stand still? Surely you don't want to--? Rost. Let us wait a little. Mrs. Rost. Wait? So that you may talk to her? Oh, you men--you are all alike! Bishop. But, you know, some one must--. Cornelia! Cornelia. Not for worlds! I am not going to stir an inch. Grandmother. Gracchus! Bishop. Yes, grandmother? Mrs. Rost. Now the old lady is going to interfere. I thought as much! Grandmother. Courtesy is a duty that every one must recognise. Bishop. You are quite right. (Goes towards the back of the room; at the same time a knock is heard on the door). Come in! (The door opens, and LEONARDA enters.) Mrs. Rost. It is she! Rost. Be quiet! Mrs. Rost. But wouldn't you rather--? Leonarda. Excuse me, am I speaking to the Bishop? Bishop. Yes, madam. Whom have I the honour to--? Leonarda. Mrs. Falk. Bishop. Allow me to introduce my sister--and Mr. Justice Rost and Mrs. Rost--and this is-- Leonarda. "Grandmamma" of whom I have heard, I think! Bishop. Yes. Let me present Mrs. Falk to you, grandmother. Grandmother (getting up). I am very glad to see you, ma'am. Mrs. Rost and Cornelia. What does she say? Grandmother. As the oldest of the family--which is the only merit I possess--let me bid you welcome. (LEONARDA gives a start, then kneels down and kisses her hand.) Mrs. Rost. Good gracious! Cornelia. Well! Mrs. Rost. Let us go away! Rost (in a low voice). Does your lordship wish--? Bishop (in the same tone). No, thank you--I must go through with it now. Rost. Good morning, then! Bishop. Many thanks for your visit and for being so frank with me. Mrs. Rost. That is always our way, your lordship. Good morning! Cornelia (as they advance to take leave of her). I will see you out. Rost (to the GRANDMOTHER). I hope I shall always see you looking as well, madam! Mrs. Rost. Good-bye, madam! No, please don't disturb yourself. You have over-exerted yourself just now you know. Grandmother. The same to you. Rost and Mrs. Rost. I beg your pardon? Bishop. She thought you were wishing her good day--or something of that sort. Rost and Mrs. Rost. Oh, I see! (They laugh. They both ceremoniously in silence to LEONARDA as they pass her; CORNELIA and the BISHOP go with them to see them out, the BISHOP turning at the door and coming back into the room.) Bishop (to LEONARDA). Won't you sit down? Leonarda. Your lordship sent me a letter to-day. (She pauses for an answer, but without effect.) In it you give me to understand, as politely as possible, that your family does not wish to have any intercourse with me. Bishop. I imagined, Mrs. Falk, that you had no such desire, either previously or now. Leonarda. What it rally means is that you want me to make over my property to the two young people, and disappear. Bishop. If you choose to interpret it in that way, Mrs. Falk. Leonarda. I presume your nephew has told you that my means are not such as to allow of my providing for one establishment here and another for myself elsewhere. Bishop. Quite so. But could you not sell your property? Leonarda. And all three of us leave here, your lordship means? Of course that would be possible; but the property is just now becoming of some value, because of the projected railway--and, besides, it has been so long in our family. Bishop. It is a very fine property. Leonarda. And very dear to us. Bishop. It pains me deeply that things should have taken this turn. Leonarda. Then may I not hope that the fact may influence your lordship's decision in some degree? Bishop. My decision, madam, has nothing to do with your property. Leonarda. During all these eight years have I offended you in any way--or any one here? Bishop. Mrs. Falk, you know quite well that you have not. Leonarda. Or is it on account of the way I have brought up my niece--? Bishop. Your niece does you the greatest credit, madam. Leonarda. Then perhaps some of my people have been laying complaints about me?--or some one has been complaining of them? Bishop. Not even the most censorious person, my dear madam, could pretend that you have been anything but exemplary in that respect. Leonarda. Then what is it? Bishop. You can scarcely expect me to tell a lady-- Leonarda. I will help you out. It is my past life. Bishop. Since you say it yourself--yes. Leonarda. Do you consider that nothing can expiate a past--about which, moreover, you know nothing? Bishop. I have not seen in you any signs of a desire to expiate it, Mrs. Falk. Leonarda. You mean that you have not seen me at confession or in church? Bishop. Yes. Leonarda. Do you want me to seek expiation by being untrue to myself? Bishop. No; but the way I refer to is the only sure one. Leonarda. There are others. I have chosen the way hard work and duty. Bishop. I said the only sure way, Mrs. Falk. Your way does not protect against temptation. Leonarda. You have something definite in your mind when you say that, have you not?--Shall I help you out again? It is General Rosen. Bishop. Precisely. Leonarda. You think I ought to send him away? Bishop. Yes. Leonarda. But it would be all up with him if I did. And there is a good deal of ability in him. Bishop. I have neither the right nor the desire to meddle in affairs I know nothing of; but I must say that only a person of unimpeachable reputation should attempt the rescue of such a man as General Rosen. Leonarda. You are quite right. Bishop. You are paying too high a price for it, Mrs. Falk, and without any certainty of achieving anything. Leonarda. Maybe. But there is one aspect of the matter that you have forgotten. Bishop. And that is? Leonarda. Compassion. Bishop. Quite so.--Yes.--Of course, if you approach the matter from that point of view, I have nothing to say. Leonarda. You don't believe it? Bishop. I only wish the matter depended upon what I myself believe. But it does not, Mrs. Falk. Leonarda. But surely you will admit that one ought to do good even at the risk of one's reputation? Bishop. Undoubtedly. Leonarda. Well, will your lordship not apply that maxim to yourself? It is quite possible that for a while your congregation's faith in you might be a little disturbed if you were to call upon me; but you know now, from my own lips, that the rumours you have heard are false, and that you ought rather to be all the more anxious to support me in what I am trying to do. And in that way you will do a good turn to these two young people, and to me, without driving me away. For some years now I have lived only for others. One does not do that without making some sacrifices, my lord--especially when, as in my case, one does not feel that one's life is quite over. Bishop. You look the picture of youth, Mrs. Falk! Leonarda. Oh, no--still I have not done it without a struggle. And now I want a little reward for it. Who would not? I want to spend my life with those for whom I have sacrificed myself; I want to see their happiness and make it mine. Do not rob me of that, my lord! It depends upon you! Bishop. I do not quite see how it depends upon me. Leonarda. It depends upon you for this reason; if my exile is to be the price paid for her marriage, my niece will never consent to wed your nephew. Bishop. That would be very distressing to me, Mrs. Falk. Leonarda. I made haste to come to you, before she should know anything about it. I have brought your letter with me. Take it back, my lord! (Searches in her pocket for the letter.) Bishop (noticing her growing anxiety). What is wrong? Leonarda. The letter!--I laid it on my desk while I dressed to come out, meaning to bring it with me--but in my hurry and anxiety I have forgotten it! And now Aagot is making out accounts at that very desk. If she sees your handwriting she will suspect something at once, because of course we have been expecting you every day. Bishop. Well, I suppose there is nothing to be done? Leonarda. Indeed there is. When she comes here--for she will understand everything and come straight here--could not your lordship meet her yourself, and say to her--. (Stops short.) Bishop. Say what? Leonarda. "I have been mistaken. People should be judged, not by their mistakes, but by what they have achieved; not by their beliefs, but by their efforts towards goodness and truth. I mean to teach my congregation that lesson by calling upon your aunt next Sunday." (The GRANDMOTHER nods at her approvingly. LEONARDA sees this, takes her hand, and turns again towards the BISHOP.) This venerable lady pleads for me too. She belongs to a day that was more tolerant than ours--at all events than ours is in this little out-of-the-way place. All the wisdom of her long life is summed up in these two words: Have forbearance! Bishop. There is one kind of forbearance, Mrs. Falk, that is forbidden us--the forbearance that would efface the distinction between good and evil. That is what the "toleration" of my grandmother's day meant; but it is not an example to be followed. Leonarda (leaving the GRANDMOTHER's side). If I have erred--if I seem of no account, from the lofty standpoint from which you look upon life--remember that you serve One who was the friend of sinners. Bishop. I will be your friend when I see you seeking your soul's salvation. I will do all I can then. Leonarda. Help me to expiate my past! That means everything to me--and is not much for you to do. I only ask for a little show of courtesy, instead of indignities! I will contrive that we shall seldom meet. Only don't drive me away--because that means exposing me to contempt. Believe me, I will give you no cause for shame; and your good deed will be rewarded by the gratitude of the young people. Bishop. I am deeply distressed at having to take up this attitude towards you. You are bound to think me hardhearted; but that is not the case. I have to consider that I am the guardian of thousands of anxious consciences. I dare not for my nephew's sake offend the respect they feel for me, the trust they put in me; nor dare I disregard the law we all must follow. For a bishop to do as I have done in opening my doors to your niece, is in itself no small thing, when you consider the dissensions that are going on in the Church nowadays. I cannot, I dare not, go farther and open my doors to a woman whom my whole congregation--albeit unjustly--well, I won't wound your feelings by going on. Leonarda. Really? Bishop. Believe me, it gives me great pain. You have made a remarkable impression upon me personally. (Meanwhile the GRANDMOTHER has got up to go out of the room.) Leonarda. Are you going away? (The BISHOP goes to the wall and rings a bell.) Grandmother. Yes--I am too old for these scenes. And, after what I have just heard, I am sure I have no right to sit here either. (CORNELIA comes in, takes her arm, and assists her out.) Leonarda (coming forward). Now I can say this to your lordship: you have no courage. Standing face to face with me here, you know what you ought to do, but dare not do it. Bishop. You are a woman--so I will not answer. Leonarda. It is because I am a woman that you have said things to me to-day that you would not have said to--to General Rosen, for instance--a man who is allowed to come to your lordship's house in spite of his past life, and his present life too. Bishop. He shall come here no more in future. Beside, you cannot deny that there is a difference between your two cases. Leonarda. There is indeed a difference: but I did not expect the distinction to be made on these lines. Nor did I imagine, my lord, that your duty was to protect, not the weaker vessel, but the stronger--to countenance open vice, and refuse help to those who are unjustly accused! Bishop. Do you think there is any use in our prolonging this conversation? [AAGOT opens the door at the back and calls from the doorway.] Aagot. Aunt! Leonarda. Aagot! Good heavens! Aagot (coming forward). Aunt! Leonarda. Then you know? (AAGOT throws herself into her arms.) My child! Aagot. I felt sure you would be here, heaven help me! Leonarda. Control yourself, my child! Aagot. No, I cannot. This is too much. Bishop. Would you ladies rather be alone? Aagot. Where is Hagbart? Bishop. He has gone out for a walk. Aagot. It makes me boil with rage! So this was to be the price of my being received into your family--that I was to sell the one who has been a mother to me! Sell her, whom I love and honour more than all the world! Bishop. Mrs. Falk, do you wish to continue?--or-- Aagot. Continue what? Your negotiations for the sale of my dear one? No. And if it were a question of being admitted to heaven without her, I should refuse! Bishop. Child! Child! Aagot. You must let me speak! I must say what is in my heart. And this, at any rate, is in it--that I hold fast to those I love, with all the strength that is in my being! Bishop. You are young, and speak with the exaggeration of youth. But I think we should do better to put an end to this interview; it can lead to nothing. Leonarda. Let us go. [HAGBART appears at the door.] Aagot (seeing him before the others). Hagbart! Hagbart. I heard your voice from outside. Mrs. Falk-- Aagot. Hagbart! (She goes towards him, but as he hastens to her side she draws back.) No--don't touch me! Hagbart. But, Aagot--? Aagot. Why did you not manage to prevent this? You never said a word to me about it! Hagbart. Because really I knew nothing about it. Aagot. One becomes conscious of such things as that without needing to be told. It hasn't weighed much on your mind!--Did you not know of it just now? Hagbart. Yes, but-- Aagot. And you didn't fly to tell us? Hagbart. It is true I-- Aagot. Your mind was taken up with something else altogether. And my only aim in life has been that everything should be made right for her! I thought you were going to do that. Hagbart. You are unjust, Aagot. What can I do--? Aagot. No, you are too much of a dreamer. But this you must realise--that I am not going to buy an honoured position at the price of insults to my aunt; that is the very last thing possible. Hagbart. Of course! But need there be any question of that? I will come and live with you two, and-- Aagot. You talk like a fool! Leonarda. Aagot! Aagot! Aagot. Oh, I feel so hurt, so deceived, so mortified--I must say it out. Because to-day is not the first of it--nor is this the only thing. Leonarda. No, I can understand that. But what is it? You are wounding his love for you. Aagot (bitterly). His love for me! Leonarda. Are you out of your mind? You are talking wildly! Aagot. No, I am only telling the truth! Leonarda (earnestly, and lowering her voice). Angry words, Aagot? You, who have seen into the bottom of his heart in quiet sacred moments! You who know how true, how steadfast he is! He is different from other men, Aagot-- Aagot (drawing away from her). Stop! stop! You don't see! Leonarda. You are out of your senses, my child! Your behaviour is disgracing us. Aagot. The greatest disgrace is his, then--because it is not me he loves! (Bursts into tears and rushes to the back of the room.) Bishop (to HAGBART, in a low voice). I hope now you will go away for a little while. Hagbart. Yes. Bishop. Come away, then. (Goes out to the left, HAGBART follows him.) Aagot (coming forward to LEONARDA). Can you forgive me? Leonarda. Let us go home. Aagot. But say something kind to me. Leonarda. No. Aagot. I won't let you go away till you do. Leonarda. I cannot. Aagot. Aunt, I am not jealous of you. Leonarda. Be quiet! Aagot. Only you must let me go away for a few days--I must get things straight in my mind. (Bursts into tears.) Oh, aunt--for pity's sake--do you love him? (LEONARDA tries to get away from her.) I don't love him any longer! If you love him, aunt, I will give him up! Leonarda. At least hold your tongue about it, here in another person's house!--If you are not coming with me, I am going home by myself. Aagot. Then I shall never follow you. Leonarda. You are completely out of your senses! Aagot. Yes; I cannot live, unless you speak to me gently and look at me kindly.--God keep you, aunt, now and always! Leonarda (turning to her). My child! Aagot. Ah! (Throws herself into her arms.) Leonarda. Let us go home! Aagot. Yes. [Curtain.] ACT III (SCENE--The garden at LEONARDA FALK'S house some days later. On the left, a summer-house with table and chairs. A large basket, half full of apples, is on the table. LEONARDA is standing talking to PEDERSEN.) Leonarda. Very well, Pedersen; if the horses are not needed here, we may as well send to fetch Miss Aagot home. Can we send to-day? Pedersen. Certainly, ma'am. Leonarda. Then please send Hans as soon as possible with a pair of horses to the hill farm for her. It is too cold for her to be up there now, anyway. Pedersen. I will do so. (Turns to go.) Leonarda. By the way, Pedersen, how has that little affair of yours been going? Pedersen. Oh-- Leonarda. Come to me this evening. We will see if we can continue our little talk about it. Pedersen. I have been wishing for that for a long time, ma'am. Leonarda. Yes, for the last eight or ten days I have not been able to think of anything properly. Pedersen. We have all noticed that there has been something wrong with you, ma'am. Leonarda. We all have our troubles. (PEDERSEN waits; but as LEONARDA begins to pick apples carefully from a young tree and put them in a small basket that is on her arm, he goes out to the left. HAGBART appears from the right, and stands for a minute without her seeing him.) Hagbart. Mrs. Falk! (LEONARDA gives a. little scream.) I beg your pardon, but I have been looking for you everywhere. How are you? I have only just this moment got back. Leonarda. Aagot is not at home. Hagbart. I know. Has she been away the whole time? Leonarda. Yes. Hagbart. Will she be away long? Leonarda. I am sending the horses up to-day, so she should be here by the day after to-morrow. Hagbart. It was you I wanted to speak to, Mrs. Falk. Leonarda. About Aagot? Hagbart. Yes, about Aagot--amongst other things. Leonarda. But couldn't you wait--till some other time? Hagbart. Mrs. Falk, I came straight here from the steamer; so you can see for yourself-- Leonarda. But if it concerns Aagot, and she is not here? Hagbart. The part of it that concerns Aagot is soon said. She was perfectly right--only I did not know it at the time. Leonarda. Good God! Hagbart. I do not love Aagot. Leonarda. But if Aagot loves you? Hagbart. She has showed me lately that she does not. Did she not tell you so, plainly? Leonarda. She was--how shall I put it?--too excited for me to attach much importance to what she said. Hagbart. Then she did tell you so. I thought she had--indeed I was sure of it. Aagot does not love me, but she loves you. She wants you to be happy. Leonarda. If you do not love Aagot, it seems to me you ought not to have come here. Hagbart. Perhaps you are right. But I am not the same man as I was when I used to come here before; nor do I come for the same reason. Leonarda. If you do not love Aagot, I must repeat that you have no right to be here. You owe that much consideration both to her and to me. Hagbart. I assure you that it is from nothing but the sincerest consideration for you that I am here now. Leonarda (who up to this point has been standing by the tree). Then I must go! Hagbart. You won't do that! Leonarda. You seem to me completely changed. Hagbart. Thank goodness for that!--because I don't feel any great respect for the man I was before. Many people can decide such things in a moment, but it has taken me time to see my course clearly. Leonarda. I don't understand you. Hagbart (almost before the words are out of her mouth, coming close to her). You do understand me! Leonarda. It would be wicked! Take care! Hagbart. Your hand is trembling-- Leonarda. That is not true! Hagbart. They say there is a devil in every one that should not be waked. It is a foolish saying, because these devils are our vital forces. Leonarda. But we ought to have them under control. That is the lesson my life has taught me; it has cost me dear, and I mean to profit by it. Hagbart. If I did not believe that it was the impulse of truth itself that guided me to you, I should not be standing here. I have had a long struggle. I have had to give up one prejudice after another, to enable my soul to find itself fully and go forward confidently. It has brought me to you--and now we will go forward together. Leonarda. That might have been, without this. Hagbart. I love you! It is you I have loved in her--since the very first day. I love you! Leonarda. Then have respect for me--and go! Hagbart. Leonarda! Leonarda. No, no! (Shrinks away from him.) Oh, why did this happen? Hagbart. It has come upon us step by step. The cruel obstacles in our way have only proved friends to us, in bringing us together. Give yourself up to happiness, as I do now! Leonarda. I do not deserve happiness. I have never expected that. Hagbart. I don't know what you have gone through to make you what you are now--so beautiful, so good, so true; but this I do know, that if the others had not judged you by your failures, I should not have loved you for what you have achieved. And I thought that might give me some value in your eyes. Leonarda. Thank you for that, from my heart!--But the world disapproves of such things. It disapproves of a young man's making love to an older woman, and if-- Hagbart. I have never cared much about the world's opinion, even in the days when I was most hidebound in prejudice. It is your opinion I want--yours only! Leonarda. And my answer is that one who is alone can get along without the world's sympathy--but it is different with a couple. They will soon feel the cold wind of the world's displeasure blowing between them. Hagbart. When you answer me, it makes what I have said seem so formal and ceremonious--so clumsy. But I must just be as I am; I cannot alter myself. Dearest, from the moment I felt certain that it was you I loved, only one thing seemed of any importance to me--everything else was blotted out. And that is why I do not understand what you say. Do you suppose they will try to make me tire of you? Do you suppose that is possible? Leonarda. Not now, but later on. There will come a time-- Hagbart. Yes, a time of work--self-development! It has come now. That is why I, am here! Perhaps a time of conflict may come too--heaven send that it may! Are we to pay any heed to that? No! You are free, and I am free; and our future is in our own hands. Leonarda. Besides, I have grown old-- Hagbart. You! Leonarda.--and jealous, and troublesome; while you are the incarnation of youth and joy. Hagbart. You have more youth in you than I. You are an enchantress! All your life you will be showing me new aspects of yourself--as you are doing now. Each year will invest you with a new beauty, new spiritual power. Do you think I only half understand you, or only half love you? I want to sit close in your heart, warmed by its glow. It is the irresistible power of truth that has drawn me to you. My whole life will not be long enough for me to sound the unfathomable depths of your soul. Leonarda. Your words are like the spring breezes, alluring and intoxicating, but full of deadly peril too. Hagbart. You love me! I knew it before I came here to-day. I saw it the moment I stood here. Love is the very breath of life to you, surpassingly more than to any one else I have ever seen; and that is why you have suffered so terribly from the disappointments and emptiness of life. And now, when love is calling to you--love that is true and sincere--you are trembling! Leonarda. You understand me in a way I thought impossible! It takes away all my resolution; it-- Hagbart. Surely you saw it in all the many talks we love had? Leonarda. Yes. Hagbart. Then is that not a proof that we two--? Leonarda. Yes, it is true! I can hide nothing from you. (Bursts into tears.) Hagbart. But why this unhappiness? Leonarda. I don't know! It pursues me all day, and all through the sleepless night. (Weeps helplessly.) Hagbart. But it has no real existence. It might, in the case of others; but not in our case--not for us. Leonarda. I spoke in my distress, without thinking. I threw out the first thing that came into my head, to try and stop you. But it is not that--oh, God! (Sways as if half swooning.) Hagbart (rushing to her side). Leonarda! Leonarda. No, no! Let me be! Hagbart. You know your love is too strong for you--will you not give way to it? Leonarda. Hagbart, there is something about it that is not right-- Hagbart. Do you mean in the way it has come about? In Aagot's having been the means of leading me to you? Think of it, and you will see that it could not have happened otherwise. Leonarda. Talking about it will not help me. I must see Aagot; I must speak to Aagot. Hagbart. But you have done that! You know it is you that love me, and not she. You know it is you that I love, and not her. What more do you need? Leonarda. I want time. I want not to lose the self-control I have won for myself by years of renunciation and self-sacrifice, and was so proud of. But it won't obey me when you speak to me. Your words possess me in spite of myself. If there is any happiness on earth, it is to find one's every thought faultlessly understood. But that happiness brings a pain with it--for me, at any rate. No, don't answer! You are too strong for me; because I love you--love you as only one can who has never believed such joy could exist or could possibly come to her--and now the depths of my peace are troubled with the thought that it is treachery to my child. Hagbart. But you know that it is not! Leonarda. I don't know. Let me have time to think! I am afraid, and my fear revives forgotten memories. More than that--I am afraid of the immensity of my love for you, afraid of dragging you with me into a whirlpool of disaster!--No, don't answer! Don't touch me!--Hagbart, do you love me? Hagbart. Can you ask that? Leonarda. Then help me! Go away!--Be generous. Let my heart know this triumph and see you in its glorious rays! Other women do not need that, perhaps--but I need it--go! Hagbart. Leonarda! Leonarda. Wait till you hear from me. It will not be long. Whatever happens, be patient--and remember, I love you!--No, don't say anything! I have neither courage nor strength for anything more. (Her voice sinks to a whisper.) Go! (He turns to go.) Hagbart! (He stops.) What you have said to me to-day has given me the greatest happiness of my life. But your going away now without a word will be more to me than all you have sail. (He goes out.) Leonarda (stands for some moments in a kind of ecstasy, moves, and stands still again. Suddenly she calls out): Aagot! Aagot (from without). Are you there? Leonarda. My dear child! (Goes out, and cones in again with AAGOT in her arms.) Did you walk? Aagot. The whole way! (She is carrying her hat in her hand, appears hot and sunburnt, and bears evident signs of laving made a long journey on foot. She takes off a knapsack which she has been carrying on her back.) I washed in a brook to-day and used it as a looking-glass as well! Leonarda. Have you been walking all night? Aagot. No; I slept for a little while at Opsal, but I was out by sunrise. It was lovely! Leonarda. And I have just been arranging to send and fetch you. Aagot. Really? Well, they can fetch my things. I could not wait any longer. Leonarda. You look so well. Aagot. Oh, that is because I am so sunburnt. Leonarda. You are feeling all right again, then--now? Aagot. Splendid, aunt! All that is over, now.--I have had a letter from grandmother. Leonarda. Was that letter from her that I sent on to you? I could not make out whom it was from. Aagot. Yes, it was from her. Here it is. You must hear it. Leonarda. Yes. Aagot (reads). "My dear child. I have not written a letter for many years, so I do not know what this will be like. But Hagbart is away, so I must tell you myself. Do not be distressed any longer. As soon as you are married, I will come and live with you." Isn't that glorious, aunt? (She is trembling with happiness, and throws her arms round LEONARDA'S neck.) Leonarda. But-- Aagot. But what? There is no more "but" about it, don't you see! It is on your account. Leonarda. On my account? Yes, but--what about you? How do you stand--with Hagbart? Aagot. Oh, that?--Well, I will tell you the whole story! I can do that now.--Oh, don't take it all so seriously, aunt! It really is nothing. But let us sit down. (Brings forward a seat, as she speaks.) I really feel as if I wanted to sit down for a little while, too!--Well, you see, it came upon me like an unexpected attack--a blow from behind, as it were. Now, my dear aunt, don't look so troubled. It is all over now. As a matter of fact, the beginning of it all was a play I saw. Leonarda. A play? Aagot. We saw it together once, you and I, do you remember? Scribe's Bataille de Dames. Leonarda. Yes. Aagot. And I remember thinking and saying to you: That fellow Henri, in the play, was a stupid fellow. He had the choice between a strong-natured, handsome, spirited woman, who was ready to give her life for him, and a child who was really a stupid little thing--for she was, it is no use denying it, aunt--and he chose the insignificant little person. No, I would rather sit down here; I can rest better so. Ah, that is good! And now you mustn't look me in the face oftener than I want to let you, because you take it too dreadfully solemnly, and I am going to tell you something foolish now.--All of a sudden it flashed across my mind: Good heavens! the woman was--, and the little hussy with the curly hair was--, and he? But Hagbart is a man of some sense: he had chosen otherwise! And I did not know; but I realised at the same time that almost from the first day Hagbart used always to talk to you, and only to you, and hardly at all to me except to talk about you. I got so miserable about it that I felt as if some one had put a knife into my heart; and from that moment--I am so ashamed of it now--I had no more peace. I carried an aching pain in my heart night and day, and I thought my heart itself would break merely to see him speak to you or you to him. I am ashamed of myself; because what was more natural than that he should never be tired of talking to you? I never should, myself! Leonarda. But still I don't see--I don't understand yet-- Aagot. Wait a bit! Oh, don't look so anxiously at me! It is all over now, you know. Leonarda. What is all over? Aagot. Bless my soul, wait! Aunt, dear, you are more impatient than I am myself! I do not want you to think me worse than I am, so I must first tell you how I fought with myself. I lay and cried all night, because I could not talk to you about it, and in the daytime I forced myself to seem merry and lively and happy. And then, aunt, one day I said to myself quite honestly: Why should you feel aggrieved at his loving her more than you? What are you, compared with her? And how splendid it would be, I thought, for my dear aunt to find some one she could truly love, and that it should be I that had brought them together! Leonarda. That was splendid of you, Aagot! Aagot. Yes, but now I mustn't make myself out better than I am, either. Because I did not always manage to look at it that way; very often something very like a sob kept rising in my throat. But then I used to talk to myself seriously, and say: Even supposing it is your own happiness you are giving up for her sake, is that too much for you to do for her? No, a thousand times no! And even supposing he does not love you any more, ought you not to be able to conquer your own feelings? Surely it would be cowardly not to be able to do that! Think no more of him, if he does not love you! Leonarda. Aagot, I cannot tell you how I admire you, and love you, and how proud I am of you! Aagot. Oh, aunt, I never realised as I did then what you have been to me! I knew that if I were capable of any great deed, anything really good or really fine, it was you that had planted the impulse in me. And then I sought every opportunity to bring this about; I wanted to take ever so humble a part in it, but without your hearing a word or a sigh from me. Besides, I had you always before me as an example; because I knew that you would have done it for me--indeed that you had already done as much. Your example was like a shining beacon to me, aunt! Leonarda. Aagot! Aagot. But you don't seem to be as happy about it as I am! Don't you understand yet how it all happened? Leonarda. Yes, but--about the result of it? Aagot. Dearest, you know all about that!--No, it is true, you don't! I must not forget to tell you that; otherwise you won't be able to understand why I behaved so stupidly at the Bishop's. Leonarda. No. Aagot. Well, you see, when I was full of this splendid determination to sacrifice myself so as to make you happy, I used to feel a regular fury come over me because Hagbart noticed no change in me--or, to be more correct, did not understand it in the least. He used to go about as if he were in a dream. Isn't it extraordinary how one thing leads to another? My feeling was stronger than I had any idea of; because when the Bishop wanted to slight you--and that was like a stab from behind, too!--I absolutely lost my head with Hagbart because of his not having prevented that, instead of going about dreaming. I don't know--but--well, you saw yourself what happened. I blurted out the first thing that came into my head and was abominably rude; you were angry; then we made friends again and I went away--and then, aunt-- Leonarda. And then--? Aagot. Then I thought it all over! All the beautiful things you said to me about him, as we were going home, came back to me more and more forcibly. I saw you as I had always known you, noble and gentle.--It was so wonderful up there, too! The air, the clearness, the sense of space! And the lake, almost always calm, because it was so sheltered! And the wonderful stillness, especially in the evening!--And so it healed, just as a wound heals. Leonarda. What healed? Aagot. The pain in my heart, aunt. All the difficulties vanished. I know Hagbart to be what you said--noble and true. And you too, aunt! You would neither of you have wished to give me a moment's pain, even unconsciously, I knew. It was so good to realise that! It was so restful, that often while I was thinking of it, I went to sleep where I sat--I was so happy!--Ah, how I love him! And then came grandmother's letter--. [HANS comes in, but does not see AAGOT at first.] Hans. Then I am to fetch Miss Aagot--why, there she is! Aagot (getting up). You quite frightened me, Hans! Hans. Welcome back, miss! Aagot. Thank you. Hans. Well, you have saved me a journey, miss, I suppose? Aagot. Yes. But someone must go and fetch my things. Hans. Of course, miss.--But what is the matter with the mistress? Aagot. Aunt!--Heavens, what is the matter? Hans. The mistress has not looked well lately. Aagot. Hasn't she? Aunt, dear! Shall I--? Would you like to--? Aunt! Hans. Shall I fetch some one to-- Leonarda. No, no!--But you, Aagot--will you-. Oh, my God!--Will you run in--and get-- Aagot. Your bottle of drops? Leonarda. Yes. (AAGOT runs out.) Hans, go as quickly as you can to the General's--ask him to come here! At once! Hans. Yes, ma'am. Leonarda. Hans! Hans. Yes, ma'am. Leonarda. Go on horseback. You may not find the General at home--and have to go elsewhere after him. Hans. Yes, ma'am. (Goes out. AAGOT re-enters.) Aagot. Here it is, aunt! Leonarda. Thank you. It is over now. Aagot. But what was it, aunt? Leonarda. It was something, dear--something that comes over one sometimes at the change of the year. [Curtain.] (The interval between this act and the next should be very short.) ACT IV (SCENE.--A room in the BISHOP'S house, the same evening. The lights are lit. The BISHOP comes in with LEONARDA, who is in travelling dress, with a shawl over her arm and a bag in her hand. The BISHOP makes a movement as though to relieve her of them, but she puts them down herself.) Leonarda. Your lordship must excuse me for troubling you so late as this; but the reason of it is something over which I have no control.---Is your nephew here? Bishop. No, but I expect him. He has been here twice this afternoon already to see me, but I was out. Leonarda. I will make haste then, and do what I have to do before he comes. Bishop. Shall I give instructions that we are to be told when he comes in? Leonarda. If you please. Bishop (ringing the bell). Grandmother says that as soon as he came back to-day, he went at once to see you. Leonarda. Yes. [Enter a Maid.] Bishop (to the Maid). Be so good as to let me know when Mr. Hagbart comes in. (Exit Maid.) Leonarda. Has he had a talk with his grandmother? Bishop. Yes. Leonarda. After he--? (Checks herself.) Bishop. After he had been to see you. Leonarda. Did he tell her anything? Bishop. He was very much agitated, apparently. I did not ask grandmother any further questions; I can imagine what passed between them.--Has he spoken to you? Leonarda. Yes. Bishop. And you, Mrs. Falk? Leonarda. I--? Well, I am here. Bishop. Going on a journey, if I am not mistaken? Leonarda. Going on a journey. Things are turning out as you wished after all, my lord. Bishop. And he is to know nothing about it? Leonarda. No one--except the person who will accompany me. I am sailing for England by to-night's boat. Bishop (looking at his watch). You haven't much time, then. Leonarda. I only want to entrust to your lordship a deed of gift of my property here. Bishop. In favour of your niece? Leonarda. Yes, for Aagot. She shall have everything. Bishop. But last time, Mrs. Falk, you said-- Leonarda. Oh, I have enough for my journey. Later on I shall want nothing; I can provide for myself. Bishop. But what about Aagot? Will you not wait until she comes home? Leonarda. She came home to-day. She is resting now. But I have sent back my carriage to bring her here immediately. I want to ask you to take her in--I know no one else--and to comfort her-- Bishop. Indeed I will, Mrs. Falk. I understand what this must cost you. Leonarda. And will you try--to--to bring those two together again? Bishop. But they don't love each other! Leonarda. Aagot loves him. And--as they both love me--my idea was that when I am gone, and they know that it was my wish, the love they both have for me may bring them together again. I hope so--they are both so young. Bishop. I will do all I can. Leonarda. Thank you. And I want to make bold to beg you to let grandmother go and live in the country with Aagot--or let Aagot come and live here, whichever they prefer. It would divert Aagot's mind if she had the care of grandmother; and she is very fond of her. Bishop. And grandmother of her. Leonarda. And wherever the grandmother is, Hagbart will be too. Very likely the old lady would help them. Bishop. I think your idea is an excellent one; and I am amazed that you have had time and strength to think it all out in this manner. Leonarda. Is grandmother still up? Bishop. Yes; I have just come from her room. Hagbart has excited her; she can stand so little. Leonarda. Then I expect I had better not go and bid her good-bye. I should have liked to, otherwise. Bishop. I don't think I ought to allow it. Leonarda. Then please say good-bye to her from me--and thank her. Bishop. I will. Leonarda. And ask her--to help-- Bishop. I will do everything I possibly can. Leonarda. And your lordship must forgive me for all the upset I have caused here. I did not intend it. Bishop. I am only sorry that I did not know you sooner. Many things might have been different. Leonarda. We won't talk about that now. [Enter Maid.] Maid. I was asked to bring you this card, ma'am. Leonarda. Thank you. Is the General in the hall? Maid. Yes. Bishop. General Rosen--here? Leonarda. I took the liberty of asking him to call for me here when the boat was signalled. Bishop. Ask the General to come in. (Exit Maid.) Then it is General Rosen that is to--. (Checks himself.) Leonarda (searching in her bag).--that is to accompany me? He is my husband. Bishop. The husband you divorced. Leonarda. Yes. Bishop. I see I have done you a great injustice, Mrs. Falk. Leonarda. Yes. (GENERAL ROSEN comes in, dressed in a smart travelling suit and looking very spruce.) General Rosen. I beg your lordship's pardon--but, time is up.--Mrs. Falk, is this yours? (Gives her a letter.) Leonarda. Yes.--When Aagot comes, will your lordship give her this?--and help her? Bishop. I will, Mrs. Falk. God bless you! [Enter Maid.] Maid. Mr. Hagbart has just come in. Leonarda. Good-bye!--Say good-bye to-- Bishop (taking her hand). What you are doing is more than any one of us could have done. Leonarda. It all depends on how deeply one loves.--Thank you, and good-bye! Bishop. Good-bye! (GENERAL ROSEN offers LEONARDA his arm. She takes it, and they go out. The BISHOP follows them. HAGBART comes in from the right, looks round in astonishment, then goes towards the back of the room and meets the BISHOP in the doorway.) Bishop. Is that you? (Both come forward without speaking.) Hagbart (in a low voice, but evidently under the influence of great emotion). I can tell by your voice--and your face--that you know about it. Bishop. You mean that you think I have had a talk with grandmother? Hagbart. Yes. Bishop. Well, I have. She told me nothing definite, but I see how things stand. I saw that sooner than you did yourself, you know. Hagbart. That is true. The fight is over now, as far as I am concerned. Bishop. Scarcely that, Hagbart. Hagbart. Oh, you won't admit it, I know. But I call it the most decisive victory of my life. I love Mrs. Falk--and she loves me. Bishop. If you were not in such an excited condition-- Hagbart. It is not excitement, it is happiness. But here, with you--oh, I have not come to ask for your blessing; we must do without that! But I have come to tell you the fact, because it was my duty to do so.--Does it grieve you so much? Bishop. Yes. Hagbart. Uncle, I feel hurt at that. Bishop. My boy--! Hagbart. I feel hurt both on her account and on my own. It shows that you know neither of us. Bishop. Let us sit down and talk quietly, Hagbart. Hagbart. I must ask you to make no attempt to persuade me to alter my decision. Bishop. Make your mind easy on that score. Your feelings do you honour--and I know now that she is worthy of them. Hagbart. What--do you say that? (They sit down.) Bishop. My dear Hagbart, let me tell you this at once. I have gone through an experience, too, since the last time we met. And it has taught me that I had no right to treat Mrs. Falk as I did. Hagbart. Is it possible? Bishop. I judged her both too quickly and too harshly. That is one of our besetting sins. And I have paid too much heed to the opinion of others, and too little to the charity that should give us courage to do good. She, whom I despised, has taught me that. Hagbart. You do not know how grateful and how happy you have made me by saying that! Bishop. I have something more to say. At the time we held that unjust opinion of her, we misled you--for you relied on our opinion then--until you ended by sharing our views and being even more vehement in the matter than we, as young people will. That created a reaction in you, which in the end led to love. If that love had been a sin, we should have been to blame for it. Hagbart. Is it a sin, then? Bishop. No. But when you felt that we were inclined to look upon it in that light, that very fact stirred up your sense of justice and increased your love. You have a noble heart. Hagbart. Ah, how I shall love you after this, uncle! Bishop. And that is why I wanted you to sit down here just now, Hagbart--to beg your pardon--and hers. And my congregation's, too. It is my duty to guide them, but I was not willing to trust them enough. By far the greater number among them are good people; they would have followed me if I had had the courage to go forward. Hagbart. Uncle, I admire and revere you more than I have ever done before--more than any one has ever done! Bishop (getting up). My dear boy! Hagbart (throwing himself into his arms). Uncle! Bishop. Is your love strong enough to bear-- Hagbart. Anything! Bishop. Because sometimes love is given to us to teach us self-sacrifice. [The GRANDMOTHER comes in.] Grandmother. I heard Hagbart's voice. Hagbart. Grandmother! (He and the BISHOP go to help her.) Grandmother! You don't know how happy I am! (Takes her by the arm.) Grandmother. Is that true? Bishop (taking her other arm). You should not walk about without help. Grandmother. I heard Hagbart's voice. He was talking so loud, that I thought something had happened. Hagbart. So it has--something good! Uncle consents! He is splendid! He has made everything all right again, and better than ever! Oh, grandmother, I wish you were not so old! I feel as if I should like to take you up in my arms and dance you round the room. Grandmother. You mustn't do that, my dear. (They put her into her chair.) Now! What is your last bit of news? Hagbart. My last bit of news? I have no fresh news! There is nothing more to tell! Bishop. Yes, Hagbart, there is. Hagbart. Why do you say that so seriously?--You look so serious--and seem agitated! Uncle! (The noise of wheels is heard outside.) Bishop. Wait a little, my dear boy. Wait a little! (Goes out by the door at the back.) Hagbart. Grandmother, what can it be? Grandmother. I don't know.--But happiness is often so brief. Hagbart. Happiness so brief? What do you mean?--Good God, grandmother, don't torture me! Grandmother. I assure you, I know nothing about it--only-- Hagbart. Only--what? Grandmother. While your uncle was with me, Mrs. Falk was announced. Hagbart. Mrs. Falk? Has she been here? Just now? Grandmother. Yes, just now. Hagbart. Then something must have happened! Perhaps it was she that uncle--. (Rushes to the door, which opens, and the BISHOP comes in with AAGOT on his arm, followed by CORNELIA.) Aagot! Aagot. Hagbart!--(Anxiously.) Is aunt not here! Cornelia. What, grandmother here! (Goes to her.) Bishop. My dear Aagot, your aunt entrusted this letter to me to give to you. Hagbart. A letter--? Grandmother. What is the matter? Let me see! (CORNELIA moves her chair nearer to the others.) Hagbart. Read it aloud, Aagot! Aagot (reads). "My darling. When you receive this letter I shall have--gone away. I love the man you--." (With a cry, she falls swooning. The BISHOP catches her in his arms.) Grandmother. She has gone away? Cornelia. She loves the man you--? Good God, look at Hagbart! Bishop. Cornelia! (She goes to him, and they lay AAGOT on the couch. CORNELIA stays beside her. The BISHOP turns to HAGBART.) Hagbart! (HAGBART throws himself into his arms.) Courage! Courage, my boy! Grandmother (getting up). It is like going back to the days of great emotions! [The Curtain falls slowly.] A GAUNTLET A PLAY IN THREE ACTS DRAMATIS PERSONAE RIIS. MRS. RIIS. SVAVA, their daughter. MARGIT, their maid. CHRISTENSEN. MRS. CHRISTENSEN. ALFRED, their son, betrothed to Svava. DR. NORDAN. THOMAS, his servant. HOFF. The action of the play passes in Christiania. ACT I (SCENE.--A room in RIIS' house. An open door at the back leads into a park and gives a glimpse of the sea beyond. Windows on each side of the door. Doors also in the right and left walls. Beyond the door on the right is a piano; opposite to the piano a cupboard. In the foreground, to the right and left, two couches with small tables in front of them. Easy-chairs and smaller hairs scattered about. MRS. RIIS is sitting on the couch to the left, and DR. NORDAN in a chair in the centre of the room. He is wearing a straw hat pushed on to the back of his head, and has a large handkerchief spread over his knees. He is sitting with his arms folded, leaning upon his stick.) Mrs. Riis. A penny for your thoughts! Nordan. What was it you were asking me about? Mrs. Riis. About that matter of Mrs. North, of course. Nordan. That matter of Mrs. North? Well, I was talking to Christensen about it just now. He has advanced the money and is going to try and get the bank to suspend proceedings. I have told you that already. What else do you want to know? Mrs. Riis. I want to know how much gossip there is about it, my dear friend. Nordan. Oh, men don't gossip about each other's affairs.--By the way, isn't our friend in there (nodding towards the door on the right) going to be told about it? This seem, a good opportunity. Mrs. Riis. Let us wait. Nordan. Because Christensen will have to be repaid, you know. I told him he would be. Mrs. Riis. Naturally. What else would you suppose? Nordan (getting up). Well, I am going away for my holidays, so Christensen must look after it now.--Was it a very grand party yesterday? Mrs. Riis. There was not much display. Nordan. No, the Christensens' parties are never very luxurious. But I suppose there were a lot of people? Mrs. Riis. I have never seen so many at a private entertainment. Nordan. Is Svava up? Mrs. Riis. She is out bathing. Nordan. Already? Did you come home early, then? Mrs. Riis. At about twelve, I think. Svava wanted to come home. My husband was late, I think. Nordan. The card tables. She looked radiant, I suppose, eh? Mrs. Riis. Why didn't you come? Nordan. I never go to betrothal parties, and I never go to Weddings--never! I can't bear the sight of the poor victims in their veils and wreaths. Mrs. Riis. But, my dear doctor, you surely think--as we all do--that this will be a happy marriage? Nordan. He is a fine lad. But, all the same--I have been taken in so often.--Oh, well! Mrs. Riis. She was so happy, and is just as happy to-day. Nordan. It is a pity I shall not see her. Good-bye, Mrs. Riis. Mrs. Riis. Good-bye, doctor. Then you are off to-day? Nordan. Yes, I need a change of air. Mrs. Riis. Quite so. Well, I hope you will enjoy yourself--and, many thanks for what you have done! Nordan. It is I ought to thank you, my dear lady! I aim vexed not to be able to say good-bye to Svava. (Goes out. MRS. RIIS takes up a magazine from the table on the left and settles herself comfortably on a couch from which she can see into the park. During what follows she reads whenever opportunity allows. RIIS comes in through the door to the right, in his shirt sleeves and struggling with his collar.) Riis. Good morning! Was that Nordan that went out just now? Mrs. Riis. Yes. (RIIS crosses the room, then turns back and disappears through the door on the right. He comes back again immediately and goes through the same proceeding, all the tine busy with his collar.) Can I help you at all? Riis. No--thanks all the same! These new-fangled shirts are troublesome things. I bought some in Paris. Mrs. Riis. Yes, I believe you have bought a whole dozen. Riis. A dozen and a half. (Goes into his room, comes out again in apparently the same difficulties, and walks about as before.) As a matter of fact I am wondering about something. Mrs. Riis. It must be something complicated. Riis. It is--it is. No doubt of it!--This collar is the very--Ah, at last! (Goes into his room and comes out again, this time with his necktie in his hand.) I have been wondering--wondering--what our dear girl's character is made up of? Mrs. Riis. What it is made up of? Riis. Yes--what characteristics she gets from you and what from me, and so forth. In what respects, that is to say, she takes after your family, and in what respect after mine, and so forth. Svava is a remarkable girl. Mrs. Riis. She is that. Riis. She is neither altogether you nor altogether me nor is she exactly a compound of us both. Mrs. Riis. Svava is something more than that. Riis. A considerable deal more than that, too. (Disappears again; then comes out with his coat on, brushing himself.) What did you say? Mrs. Riis. I did not speak.--I rather think it is my mother that Svava is most like. Riis. I should think so! Svava, with her quiet pleasant ways! What a thing to say! Mrs. Riis. Svava can be passionate enough. Riis. Svava never forgets her manners as your mother did. Mrs. Riis. You never understood mother. Still, no doubt they are unlike in a great many things. Riis. Absolutely!--Can you see now how right I was in chattering to her in various languages from the beginning, even when she was quite tiny? Can you see that now? You were opposed to my doing it. Mrs. Riis. I was opposed to your perpetually plaguing the child, and also to the endless jumping from one thing to another. Riis. But look at the result, my dear! Look at the result! (Begins to hum a tune.) Mrs. Riis. You are surely never going to pretend that it is the languages that have made her what she is? Riis (as he disappears). No, not the languages; but--(His voice is heard from within his room)--the language have done a wonderful lot! She has savoir vivre--what? (Comes out again.) Mrs. Riis. I am sure that is not what Svava is most admired for. Riis. No, no. On the boat, a man asked me if I were related to the Miss Riis who had founded the Kindergartens in the town. I said I had the honour to be her father. You should have seen his face! I nearly had a fit. Mrs. Riis. Yes, the Kindergartens have been a great success from the very first. Riis. And they are responsible for her getting engaged, too--aren't they? What? Mrs. Riis. You must ask her. Riis. You have never even noticed my new suit. Mrs. Riis. Indeed I have. Riis. I didn't hear as much as the tiniest cry of admiration from you. Look at the harmony of it all!--the scheme of colour, even down to the shoes!--what? And the handkerchief, too! Mrs. Riis. How old are you, dear? Riis. Hold your tongue!--Anyway, how old do you think people take me to be? Mrs. Riis. Forty, of course. Riis. "Of course"? I don't see that it is so obvious. This suit is a kind of Bridal Symphony, composed at Cologne when I got the telegram telling me of Svava's engagement. Just think of it! At Cologne--not ten hours' journey from Paris! But I could not wait ten hours; I had risen too much in my own estimation in view of my approaching relationship with the richest family in the country. Mrs. Riis. Is that suit all you have to show for it, then? Riis. What a question! Just you wait till I have got my luggage through the custom-house! Mrs. Riis. We shall be quite out of it, I suppose? Riis. You out of it! When a very lucky daddy finds himself in Paris at a most tremendous moment-- Mrs. Riis. And what did you think of the party yesterday? Riis. I was quite delighted with the boat for being late so that I was landed in the middle of a fete champetre as by magic. And Naturally one had a tremendous welcome as the party was in honour of one's own only daughter! Mrs. Riis. What time did you come in last night? Riis. Don't you understand that we had to play cards yesterday, too? I could not get out of it; I had to make a fourth with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob--that is to say, with our host, a cabinet minister, and old Holk. It was a tremendous honour to lose one's money to grand folk like that. Because I always lose, you know.--I came home about three o'clock, I should think.--What is that you are reading? Mrs. Riis. The Fortnightly. Riis. Has there been anything good in it while I have been away? (Begins to hum a tune.) Mrs. Riis. Yes--there is an article here on heredity that you must read. It has some reference to what we began to talk about. Riis. Do you know this tune? (Goes over to the piano.) It is all the rage now. I heard it all over Germany. (Begins to play and sing, but breaks off suddenly.) I will go and fetch the music, while I think of it! (Goes into his room and comes out again with the music. Sits down and begins to play and sing again. SVAVA comes in by it, door on the left. RIIS stops when he sees her, and jumps up.) Good morning, my child! Good morning! I have hardly had a chance to say a word to you yet. At the party everyone took you away from me! (Kisses her, and comes forward with her.) Svava. Why were you so long of coming back from abroad? Riis. Why don't people give one some warning when they are going to get engaged? Svava. Because people don't know anything about it themselves, till it happens! Good morning again, mother. (Kneels down beside her.) Mrs. Riis. There is a delicious freshness about you, dear! Did you have a walk in the wood after your swim? Svava (getting up). Yes, and just as I got home a few minutes ago Alfred passed the house and called up to me. He is coming in directly. Riis. To tell you the truth--and one ought always to tell the truth--I had quite given up the hope of such happiness coming to our dear girl. Svava. I know you had. I had quite given it up myself. Riis. Until your fairy prince came? Svava. Until my fairy prince came. And he took his time about it, too! Riis. You had been waiting for him a long time, though--hadn't you? Svava. Not a bit of it! I never once thought of him. Riis. Now you are talking in riddles. Svava. Yes, it is a riddle to understand how two people, who have seen each other from childhood without even giving each other a thought, suddenly--! Because that was really how it happened. It all dates from a certain moment--and then, all at once, he became quite another man in my eyes. Riis. But in every one else's, I suppose, he is the same us before? Svava. I hope so! Riis. He is more lively than he was, at any rate--in my eyes. Svava. Yes, I saw you laughing together last night. What was it? Riis. We were discussing the best way of getting through the world. I gave him my three famous rules of life. Mrs. Riis and Svava (together). Already! Riis. They were a great success. Do you remember them, you bad girl? Svava. Rule number one: Never make a fool of yourself. Riis. Rule number two: Never be a burden to any one. Svava. Rule number three: Always be in the fashion. They are not very hard to remember, because they art neither obscure nor profound. Riis. But all the harder to put into practice! And thus is a great virtue in all rules of life.--I congratulate you on your new morning frock. Under the circumstances it is really charming. Svava. "Under the circumstances" means, I suppose, considering that you have had no hand in it. Riis. Yes, because I should never have chosen that trimming. However, the "under the circumstances" is not so bad. A good cut, too--yes. Aha! Just you wail till my portmanteau comes! Svava. Some surprises for us? Riis. Big ones!--By the way, I have something here. (Goes into his room.) Svava. Do you know, mother, he seems to me more restless than ever. Mrs. Riis. That is happiness, dear. Svava. And yet father's restlessness has always something a little sad about it. He is--. (RIIS comes out of his room again.) Do you know what I heard a cabinet minister say about you yesterday? Riis. A man of that stamp is sure to say something worth hearing. Svava. "We all always look upon your father, Miss Riis, as our Well-dressed man par excellence." Riis. Ah, a bien dit son excellence! But I can tell you something better than that. You are getting your father a knighthood. Svava. I am? Riis. Yes, who else? Of course the Government has once or twice made use of me to some small degree in connection with various commercial treaties; but now, as our great man's brother-in-law, I am going to be made a Knight of St. Olaf! Svava. I congratulate you. Riis. Well, when it rains on the parson it drips on the clerk, you know. Svava. You are really most unexpectedly modest in your new position. Riis. Am I not!--And now you shall see me as a modest showman of beautiful dresses--that is to say, of drawings of dresses--still more modest than the showman, from the latest play at the Francais. Svava. Oh no, dad--not now! Mrs. Riis. We won't start on that till the afternoon. Riis. One would really think I were the only woman of the lot! However, as you please. You rule the world! Well, then, I have another proposition to make, in two parts. Part one, that we sit down! Svava. We sit down! (She and her father sit.) Riis. And next, that you tell your newly-returned parent exactly how it all happened. All about that "riddle," you know! Svava. Oh, that!--You must excuse me; I cannot t you about that. Riis. Not in all its sweet details, of course! Good heavens, who would be so barbarous as to ask such a thing in the first delicious month of an engagement! No, I of only I want you to tell us what was the primum mobile in the matter. Svava. Oh, I understand. Yes, I will tell you that because that really means teaching you to know Alfred's true character. Riis. For instance--how did you come to speak to him? Svava. Well, that was those darling Kindergartens of ours-- Riis. Oho!--Your darling Kindergartens, you mean? Svava. What, when there are over a hundred girls there--? Riis. Never mind about that! I suppose he came to bring a donation? Svava. Yes, he came several times with a donation-- Riis. Aha! Svava. And one day we were talking about luxury saying that it was better to use one's time and money in our way, than to use them in luxurious living. Riis. But how do you define luxury? Svava. We did not discuss that at all. But I saw that he considered luxury to be immoral. Riis. Luxury immoral! Svava. Yes, I know that is not your opinion. But it is mine. Riis. Your mother's, you mean, and your grand mother's. Svava. Exactly; but mine too, if you don't object? Riis. Not I! Svava. I mentioned that little incident that happened to us when we were in America--do you remember? We had gone to a temperance meeting, and saw women drive up who were going to support the cause of abstinence, and yet were--well, of course we did not know their circumstances--but to judge from their appearance, with their carriages and horses, their jewellery and dresses--especially their jewellery--they must have been worth, say-- Riis. Say many thousands of dollars! No doubt about it. Svava. There is no doubt about it. And don't you think that is really just as disgraceful debauchery, in its town way, as drink is in its? Riis. Oh, well--! Svava. Yes, you shrug your shoulders. Alfred did not do that. He told me of his own experiences--in great cities. It was horrible! Riis. What was horrible? Svava. The contrast between poverty and wealth--between the bitterest want and the most reckless luxury. Riis. Oh--that! I thought, perhaps--. However, go on! Svava. He did not sit looking quite indifferent and clean his nails. Riis. I beg your pardon. Svava. Oh, please go on, dear!--No, he prophesied a great social revolution, and spoke so fervently about it--and it was then that he told me what his ideas about wealth were. It was the greatest possible surprise to me--and a new idea to me, too, to some extent. You should have seen how handsome he looked! Riis. Handsome, did you say? Svava. Isn't he handsome? I think so, at all events. And so does mother, I think? Mrs. Riis (without looking up from her book). And so does mother. Riis. Mothers always fall in love with their daughters' young men--but they fall out again when they become their mothers-in-law! Svava. Is that your experience? Riis. That is my experience. So Alfred Christensen has blossomed into a beauty? Well, we must consider that settled. Svava. He stood there so sure of himself, and looking so honest and clean--for that is an essential thing, you know. Riis. What exactly do you mean by "clean," my dear? Svava. I mean just what the word means. Riis. Exactly--but I want to know what meaning attach to the word. Svava. Well--the meaning that I hope any one would attach to it if they used the word of me. Riis. Do you attach the same meaning to it if it is used' of a man, as you would if it were used of a girl? Svava. Yes, of course. Riis. And do you suppose that Christensen's son-- Svava (getting up). Father, you are insulting me! Riis. How can the fact of his being his father's son I an insult to you? Svava. In that respect he is not his father's son! I am not likely to make any mistake in a thing of that sort! Mrs. Riis. I am just reading about inherited tendencies. It is Not necessary to suppose that he has inherited all his father's. Riis. Oh, well--have it as you please! I am afraid all these superhuman theories of yours. You will never get through the world with them. Svava. What do you mean?--Mother, what does father mean? Mrs. Riis. I suppose he means that all men are alike. And one must allow that it is true. Svava. You do not really mean that? Riis. But why get so excited about it?--Come and sit down! And, besides, how can you possibly tell? Svava. Tell? What? Riis. Well, in each individual case-- Svava.--whether the man I see standing before me or walking past me is an unclean, disgusting beast--or a man? Riis. Etcetera, etcetera!--You may make mistakes, my dear Svava? Svava. No--not any more than I should make a mistake about you, father, when you begin to tease me with your horrid principles! Because, in spite of them, you are the chastest and most refined man I know. Mrs. Riis (laying down her book). Are you going to keep that morning frock on, dear child? Won't you change your dress before Alfred comes? Svava. No, mother, I am not going to be put off like that.--By this time I have seen so many of my girl friends giving themselves trustfully to their "fairy prince," as they think, and waking in the arms of a beast. I shall not risk that! I shall not make that mistake! Mrs. Riis. Well, as it is, there is no occasion for you to get heated about it. Alfred is a man of honour. Svava. He is. But I have heard of one shocking experience after another. There was poor Helga, only a month ago! And I myself--I can speak about it now, for I am happy now and feel secure--I can tell you now why I have been so long about it. For a long time I did nut dare to trust myself; because I too have been on the brink of being deceived. Riis and Mrs. Riis (together, starting up from their chairs). You, Svava? Svava. I was quite young at the time. Like most young girls, I was looking for my ideal, and found it in a young, vivacious man--I won't describe him more accurately. He had--oh, the noblest principles and the highest aims--the most complete contrast to you in that respect father! To say I loved him, is much too mild; I worshipped him. But I never can tell you what I discovered or how I discovered it. It was the time when you all thought I had-- Mrs. Riis.--something wrong with your lungs? Is it possible, child? Was it then? Svava. Yes, it was then.--No one could endure or forgive being deceived like that! Mrs. Riis. And you never said a word to me? Svava. Only those who have made such a mistake as I did can understand the shame one feels.--Well, it is all over now. But this much is certain, that no one who has had such an experience once will make the same mistake again. (Meanwhile RIIS has gone into his room.) Mrs. Riis. Perhaps it was a good thing for you, after all? Svava. I am sure it was.--Well, it is all done with now. But it was not quite done with till I found Alfred. Where is father? Mrs. Riis. Your father? Here he comes. Riis (coming out of his room, with his hat on, and drawing on his gloves). Look here, little girl! I must go and see what has happened to my luggage at the Customs. I will go to the station and telegraph. You must have all your things looking very nice, you know, because the King is coming here in a day or two--and so it is worth it! Good-bye, then, my dear girl! (Kisses her.) You have made us very happy--so very happy. It is true you have certain ideas that are not--. Well, never mind! Goodbye! (Goes out.) Mrs. Riis. Good-bye! Riis (drawing off his gloves). Did you notice the tune I was playing when you came in? (Sits down at the piano.) I heard it everywhere in Germany. (Begins to play and sing, but stops short.) But, bless my soul, here is the music! You can play it and sing it for yourself. (Goes out, humming the air.) Svava. He is delightful! There is really something so innocent about him. Did you notice him yesterday? He was simply coruscating. Mrs. Riis. You did not see yourself, my dear! Svava. Why? Was I sparkling, too? Mrs. Riis. Your father's daughter--absolutely! Svava. Yes, it is no use denying, mother, that however great one's happiness is, the friendliness of others increases it. I was thinking to-day over all the things that gave me so much happiness yesterday, and felt--oh, I can't tell you what I felt! (Nestles in her mother's arms.) Mrs. Riis. You are a very lucky girl!--Now I must go and do my housekeeping. Svava. Shall I help you? Mrs. Riis. No, thank you, dear. (They cross the room together.) Svava. Well, then, I will run through father's song once or twice--and Alfred should be here directly. (MRS. RIIS goes out by the door on the left. SVAVA sits down at the piano. ALFRED comes in softly from the left, and bends over her shoulder so that his face comes close to hers.) Alfred. Good morning, darling! Svava (jumping up). Alfred! I did not hear the door! Alfred. Because you were playing. Something very pretty, too! Svava. I enjoyed myself so much yesterday! Alfred. I do not believe you have any idea what an impression you made! Svava. Just a suspicion. But you must not talk about that, because it would be most improper for me to confess it! Alfred. Every one was singing your praises to me, and a mother and father too. We are all very happy at how, to-day. Svava. So we are here!--What is that you have got in your hand? A letter? Alfred. Yes, a letter. Your maid who opened the door gave it to me. Someone has been clever enough to count upon my coming here some time this morning. Svava. You don't think that was difficult to guess? Alfred. Not particularly. It is from Edward Hansen. Svava. But you can take a short cut to his house through our park. (Points to the right.) Alfred. Yes, I know. And as he says it is urgent, and underlines the word-- Svava.--you can have my key. Here it is. (Gives it to him.) Alfred. Thank you, dear, very much. Svava. Oh, it is only selfishness; we shall have you back again all the sooner. Alfred. I will stay here till lunch time. Svava. You will stay here a great deal longer than that. We have a frightful lot to talk about--all about yesterday, and-- Alfred. Of course we have! Svava. And lots of other things as well. Alfred. I have a most important question to ask you. Svava. Have you? Alfred. Perhaps you will find the answer by the time I come back. Svava. It can't be so very difficult, then! Alfred. Indeed it is. But sometimes you have inspirations. Svava. What is it? Alfred. Why did we two not find each other many years ago? Svava. Because we were not ready for it, of course! Alfred. How do you know that? Svava. Because I know that at that time I was quite another girl from what I am now. Alfred. But there is a natural affinity between those that love one another. I am sure of it. And it was just its much the case at that time, surely? Svava. We do not feel the natural affinity as long as we are developing on different lines. Alfred. Have we been doing that? And nevertheless we-- Svava. Nevertheless we love one another. Our paths may be as unlike as they please, if only they lead together in the end. Alfred. To the same way of thinking, you mean? Svava. Yes, to our being such comrades as we are now. Alfred. Such true comrades? Svava. Such true comrades! Alfred. Still, it is just at moments like this, when I hold you in my arms as I do now, that I ask myself over and over again why I did not do this long ago. Svava. Oh, I don't think about that--not the least bit! It is the safest place in the world--that is what I think! Alfred. Perhaps before this year it would not have been so. Svava. What do you mean? Alfred. I mean--well, I mean practically the same as you; that I have not always been the man I am now.--But I must hurry away. The letter says it is something urgent. (They cross the room together.) Svava. One minute won't make any difference, will it?--because there is something I must say to you first. Alfred (standing still). What is it? Svava. When I saw you standing amongst all the others yesterday, I felt for the first moment as if I did not know you. Some change seemed to have come over you--the effect of the others, perhaps--anyway you really _were_ actually different. Alfred. Of course. People always are that, among strangers. When you came in with the ladies, it just seemed to me as if I had never observed you carefully before. Besides, there are certain things one cannot know till one sees a person amongst others. It was the first time I realised how tall you are--and your way of bending just a tiny bit to one side when you bow to any one. And your colouring! I had never properly seen-- Svava. Do be quiet, and let me get a word in! Alfred. No, no! Here we are, back in the room--and I _must_ be off now! Svava. Only just a moment. You interrupted me, you know! When I saw you standing there among the men for the first moment I felt just as if I did not know you. But at the same moment you caught sight of me and nodded. I don't know what sort of a transformation came over us both; but I felt myself blushing as red as fire. And it was some time before I had the courage to look at you again. Alfred. Well, do you know what happened to me? Every time any one came to dance with you, didn't I envy him! Oh, not at all!--To tell you the truth, I cannot bear any one else to touch you. (Clasps her in his arms.) And I have not told you the best part of it yet. Svava. What is that? Alfred. That when I see you amongst other people, and catch--say--a glimpse of your arm, I think to myself: That arm has been round my neck and round no one else's in the whole world! She is mine, mine, mine--and no one else's!--There, that is the best part of it all!--Look here, here we are back again in the room! It is witchcraft! Now I must go. (Crosses the room.) Good-bye! (Lets her go, then catches hold of her again.) Why didn't I find my happiness many years ago?--Good-bye! Svava. I think I will come with you. Alfred. Yes, do! Svava. No, I forgot--I must learn this song before father comes back. If I don't learn it now, I expect you will take care I don't do so to-day. (A ring is heard at the front door.) Alfred. Here is some one coming! Let me get away first. (Hurries out to the right. SVAVA stands waving her hand to him, then turns to the piano. The maid MARGIT enters.) Margit. A gentleman has called, miss, who wants to know if-- Svava. A gentleman? Don't you know who he is? Margit. No, miss. Svava. What is he like? Margit. He looks rather-- Svava. Rather suspicious? Margit. No, far from it, miss--a very nice gentleman. Svava. Tell him my father is not at home; he has gone down to the station. Margit. I told him so, miss, but it is you he wants to see. Svava. Ask my mother to come in here!--Oh, no, why should she! Let him come in. (MARGIT shows in HOFF, and goes out.) Hoff. Is it Miss Riis I have the honour to--? Yes, I see it is. My name is Hoff--Karl Hoff. I am a commercial traveller--travel in iron. Svava. But what has that to do with me? Hoff. Just this much, that if I had been an ordinary stay-at-home man, a great many things would not have happened. Svava. What would not have happened? Hoff (taking a large pocket-book out of his docket, and extracting a letter from it). Will you condescend to read this? Or perhaps you would rather not? Svava. How can I tell? Hoff. Of course, you must first--Allow me. (Gives her the letter.) Svava (reading). "To-night between ten and eleven that is to say, if the booby has not come home. I love you so dearly! Put a light in the hall window." Hoff. "The booby" is me. Svava. But I don't understand--? Hoff. Here is another. Svava. "I am full of remorse. Your cough frightens me; and now, when you are expecting--" But what in the world has this to do with me? Hoff (after a moment's thought). What do you suppose? Svava. Is it some one you want me to help? Hoff. No, poor soul, she doesn't need help any more. She is dead. Svava. Dead? Was she your wife? Hoff. That's it. She was my wife. I found these and come other things in a little box. At the bottom were these notes--there are more of them--and some cotton wool on the top of them. On the top of that lay some earrings and things that had been her mother's. And also (producing some bracelets) these bracelets. They are certainly much too costly to have been her mother's. Svava. I suppose she died suddenly, as she did not-- Hoff. I cannot say. Consumptives never think they are going to die. Anyway she was very delicate and weak.--May I sit down? Svava. Please do. Are there any children? Hoff (after a moment's thought). I believe not. Svava. You believe not? I asked because I thought you wanted our Society to help you. This really is all very distressful to me. Hoff. I thought it would be--I thought as much. Besides, I am not really sure if I--. You cannot understand this, then? Svava. No, I cannot. Hoff. No, you cannot.-I have heard so much good spoken of you for many years. My wife used to sing your praises, too. Svava. Did she know me? Hoff. She was Maren Tang--who used to be companion to-- Svava.--to Mrs. Christensen, my future mother-in-law? Was it she? She was such a well-bred, quiet woman. Are you sure you are not mistaken? One or two notes, unsigned and undated--what? Hoff. Did you not recognise the handwriting? Svava. I? No. Besides, isn't it a disguised hand? Hoff. Yes, but not much disguised. Svava. I presume you had some more definite errand with me? Hoff. Yes, I had--but I think I will let it alone. You do not understand anything about this, I can see Perhaps you think I am a little crazy? I am not so sure you would not be right. Svava. But there was something you wanted to say to me? Hoff. Yes, there was. You see, these Kindergartens-- Svava. Oh, so it was them, all the time? Hoff. No, it was not them. But they are responsible for my having for a long time thought very highly of you, Miss Riis. If you will excuse my saying so, I had never before seen fashionable young ladies trying to do anything useful--never. I am only a little broken-down tradesman travelling for a firm--a worthless sort of chap in many ways, and one that very likely deserves what he has got--but anyway I wanted you to be spared. Indeed thought it was my duty--absolutely my duty. But now when I see you sitting there before me--well, now I only I feel miserably unhappy. So I won't trouble you at all (Gets up.) Not at all. Svava. I really cannot understand-- Hoff. Please don't bother about me! And please forgive my disturbing you.--No, you really must not give me another thought! Just imagine that I have not been here--that is all. (As he reaches the door, he meets ALFRED coming in. As soon as he sees that SVAVA is watching them, he goes hurriedly out. SVAVA sees the meeting between the two and gives a little scream, then rushes to meet ALFRED. But as soon as she is face to face with him, she seems terrified. As he comes nearer to take her in his arms she cries out: "Don't touch me!" and hurries out by the door on the left. She is heard locking and bolting it on the inside. Then a violent outburst of weeping is heard, the sound being somewhat deadened by the distance, but only for a few moments. Then the sound of singing is heard outside, and a few seconds later RIIS comes into the room. The curtain falls as he enters.) ACT II (SCENE.--The same as in Act I. SVAVA is lying on the couch to the right, resting her head on one hand, looking out towards the park. Her mother is sitting beside her.) Mrs. Riis. Decisions as hasty as yours, Svava, are not really decisions at all. There is always a great deal more to be taken into consideration than one realises at first. Take time to think it over! I believe he is a fine fellow. Give him time to show it; don't break it off immediately! Svava. Why do you keep on saying that to me? Mrs. Riis. Well, dear, you know I have never had the chance of saying anything to you till to-day. Svava. But you keep harping on that one string. Mrs. Riis. What note do you want me to strike, then? Svava. The note your dear good mother would have struck--quite a different one altogether. Mrs. Riis. It is one thing to teach your child how to make a proper choice in life, but-- Svava. But quite another thing to put into practice what you teach? Mrs. Riis. No; I was going to say that life itself is quite another thing. In daily life, and especially in married life, it is sometimes advisable to make allowances. Svava. Yes, on points that do not really matter. Mrs. Riis. Only on points that do not matter? Svava. Yes--personal peculiarities, and things like that, which after all are only excrescences; but not on points that concern one's moral growth. Mrs. Riis. Yes, on those points too. Svava. On those points too?--But isn't it just for the sake of our own self-development that we marry? What else should we marry for? Mrs. Riis. Oh, you will see! Svava. No, indeed I shall not; because I do not intend to marry on such conditions. Mrs. Riis. You should have said that sooner. It is too late now. Svava (sitting upright). Too late? If I had been married twenty years, I would have done just the same! (Lies down again.) Mrs. Riis. Heaven help you, then!--You haven't an idea, not the smallest idea, what a net you are entangled in! But you will find it out, as soon as you begin to struggle in earnest. Or do you really want your father and me to throw away all that we have worked for here?--to begin all over again in a foreign country? Because he has repeatedly said, during the last day or two, that he will not be mixed up in the scandal that would be the result of your breaking this off. He would go abroad, and I should have to go with him. Ah, you wince at the thought of that!--Think of all your friends, too. It is a serious matter to have been set on such an eminence as you were at your betrothal party. It is like being lifted up high on a platform that others are carrying on their shoulders; take care you do not fall down from it! That is what you will do, if you offend their principles of right behaviour. Svava. Is that sort of thing a principle of right behaviour? Mrs. Riis. I do not say that. But undoubtedly, one their principles of right behaviour--and perhaps the most important--is that all scandal must be avoided. No one relishes being disgraced, Svava--particularly the most influential people in a place. And least of all, by a long way, do people relish their own child being disgraced. Svava (half raising herself). Good Lord! is it _I_ that am disgracing him? Mrs. Riis. No, of course, it is he himself-- Svava. Very well, then! (Sinks down upon the couch again.) Mrs. Riis. But you will never get them to understand that. I assure you, you won't. As long as what he has done is only whispered about in his family and amongst his intimate friends, they don't consider him disgraced at all. There are too many that do just the same. It is only when the knowledge of it becomes common property, that they consider it a disgrace. And if it became known that there was a formal breach between you--the Christensens' eldest son ignominiously refused because of his past life--they would consider it the most shocking scandal that could possibly overtake them! And we should feel the effect of it, in particular. And so would those that are dependent on us--and they are not so few in number, as you know, because you have interested yourself in them, particularly in the children. You would have t. give up all the interests you have made for Yourself here--because you would have to go with us. I am certain your father is in earnest about that. Svava. Oh! Oh! Mrs. Riis. I almost wish I could tell you why I am so certain of that. But I cannot--at all events not now. No, you must not tempt me to.--Here comes your father. Only take time to reflect, Svava! No breaking of it off, no scandal! (RIIS comes in from outside, with an opened letter in his hand.) Riis. Oh, there you are! (Goes into his room, lays down his hat and stick, and comes out again.) You have taken no serious step yet, I hope--eh? Mrs. Riis. No, but-- Riis. Very well. Now here is a letter from the Christensens. If you won't receive either your dance or his letters, you will have to put up with his family's interference in the matter. Everything must come to an end sooner or later. (Reads.) "My wife, my son and I will do ourselves the honour of paying you a visit between eleven and twelve o'clock." The only wonder is, that I have not had some such letter before this! I am sure they have been patient enough. Mrs. Riis. Well, we have got no farther to-day, either. Riis. What are you thinking of, child? Can't you see what it must all lead to? You are a good-hearted girl, I know--I am sure you don't want to ruin us all absolutely? I certainly consider, Svava, that you have acted quite severely enough now in this matter. They have suffered a nasty shock to their self-confidence, both of them; you may be quite sure of that. What more do you want? If you are really determined to carry the matter farther--well--make your conditions! There is no doubt they will be agreed to. Svava. For shame! For shame! Riis (despairingly). What is the use of taking it in this way! Mrs. Riis. What, indeed! You ought rather to try and make things a bit easier, Svava. Riis. And you really might condescend, too, to consider who it is that you are throwing over--a member of one of the richest families in the country, and, I venture to say, one of the most honourable too. I have never heard of anything so idiotic! Yes, I repeat--idiotic, idiotic! What if he have made a false step--or two--well, good heavens-- Svava. Yes, bring heaven into it, too! Riis. Indeed I well may! There is good need. As I was saying, if he have made a false step, surely the poor fellow has been sufficiently punished for it now. Beside it is certainly our duty to be a little reasonable with one another--it is a commandment, you know, that we are to be reasonable and forgiving. We must be forgiving! And more than that, we must help the erring--we must raise up the fallen and set them in the right way. Yes, set them in the right way. You could do that so splendidly! It is exactly in your line. You know very well, my dear child, it is very seldom I talk about morals and that sort of thing. It doesn't sit well on me at all; I know that only too well. But on this occasion I cannot help it. Begin with forgiveness, my child; begin with that! After all, can you contemplate living together with anyone for any length of time without--without--well, without _that_? Svava. But there is no question of living with anyone, for any length of time, or of forgiveness--because I do not mean to have anything more to do with him. Riis. Really, this is beyond all bounds! Because he has dared to fall in love with some one before you--? Svava. Some one? Riis. Well, if there was more than one, I am sure I know nothing about it. No, indeed I do not! Besides, the way people gossip and backbite is the very devil! But, as I was saying, because he dared to look at some one before he looked at you--before he ever _thought_ of you--is that a reason for throwing him over for good and all? How many would ever get married under those circumstances, I should like to know? Everybody confirms the opinion that he is an honourable, fine young fellow, to whom the proudest girl might confidently entrust herself--you said so yourself, only a day or two ago! Do not deny it! And now he is suddenly to be thrown over, because you are not the first girl he has ever met! Pride should have some limits, remember! I have never heard of anything more preposterous, if you ask me. Mrs. Riis. Men are not like that. Riis. And what about girls? Are they like that? I am quite sure they do not ask whether their fiances have been married before--observe, I said "married." You can imagine he has been married. Well, why not? That is what other girls do--you cannot deny it. I know you know it. You have been to dances; who are most in request there? Precisely those who have the reputation of being something of a Don Juan. They take the wind out of all the other fellows' sails. You have seen it yourself a hundred times. And it is not only at dances that this applied. Don't you suppose they get married--and as a rule make the very best matches? Mrs. Riis. That is true. Riis. Of course it is true. And as a rule they make the very best husbands, too! Mrs. Riis. Hm! Riis. Oh, indeed they do!--with some exceptions, of course, naturally. The fact is, that marriage has an ennobling influence, and provides a beautiful vocation for a woman--the most beautiful vocation possible! Svava (who has got up). I can just manage to listen to such things from you--because I expected no better from you. Riis. Thank you very much! Svava (who has come forward). One would really think that marriage were a sort of superior wash-house for men-- Riis. Ha, ha! Svava.--and that men could come there and take a dip when they please--and in what state they please! Riis. Oh, really--! Svava. I mean it! And it is flattering--very flattering--for me, as your daughter, to feel that you look upon me as so peculiarly suited for the washerwoman's post! None of that for me, thank you! Riis. But this is-- Svava. No, just listen to me for a little! I don't think I have said too much, the last day or two. Riis. No, we have not been allowed to say a word to you. Svava. Look here, father. You have a fine supply of principles, for show purposes. Riis. For--? Svava. I do not mean by that, that they are not your own. But you are so good and so honourable, your whole life is so refined, that I do not attach the least importance to your principles. But to mother's I do attach importance, for hers are what have formed mine. And now just when I want to act up to them, she deserts me. Riis and Mrs. Riis (together). Svava! Svava. It is mother I am angry with! It is mother I cannot have patience with! Riis. Really, Svava--! Svava. Because if there has been one point on which mother and I have been agreed, it has been on the subject of the unprincipled way men prepare themselves for marriage, and the sort of marriages that are the result. We have watched the course of it, mother and I, for many years; and we had come to one and the same conclusion, that it is _before_ marriage that a marriage is marred. But when, the other day, mother began to turn round-- Mrs. Riis. No, you have no right to say that! I am convinced that Alfred is as honourable-- Svava. But when, the other day, mother began to turn round--well, I could not have been more amazed if some one had come in and told me they had met her out in the street when she was actually sitting here talking to me. Mrs. Riis. I only ask you to take time to consider! I am not contradicting you! Svava. Oh, let me speak now! Let me give you just one instance. One day, before I was really grown up, I came running into this room from the park. We had just bought the property, and I was so happy. Mother was standing over there leaning against the door and crying. It was a lovely summer's day. "Why are you crying, mother?" I said. For some time she seemed as if she did not see me. "Why are you crying, mother?" I repeated, and went nearer to her, but did not like to touch her. She turned away from me, and walked up and down once or twice. Then she came to me. "My child," she said, drawing me to her, "never give in to what is not good and pure, on any account whatever! It is so cowardly, and one repents it so bitterly; it means perpetually giving in, more and more and more." I do not know what she referred to, and I have never asked. But no one can imagine what an effect it all had on me--the beautiful summer day, and mother crying, and the heartfelt tones of her voice! I cannot give in; do not ask me to. Everything that made marriage seem beautiful to me is gone--my faith, my feeling of security--all gone! No, no, no! I can never begin with that, and it is wicked of you to want to make me believe I can. After such a disillusionment and such a humiliation? No! I would rather never be married--even it I have to go away from here. I daresay I shall find something to fill my life; it is only for the moment that I am so helpless. And anything is better than to fill it with what is unclean. If I did not refuse that without hesitation, I should be an accomplice to it. Perhaps some people could put up with that. I cannot--no, I cannot. Do you think it is arrogance on my part? Or because I am angry? If you knew what we two had planned and schemed, you would understand me. And if you knew what I have thought of him, how I have admired him--you did the same yourselves--and how wretched I feel now, how utterly robbed of everything!--Who is it that is crying? Is it you, mother? (She runs to her mother, kneels down and buries her head in her lap. A pause. RIIS goes into his room.) Why cannot we three hold together? If we do, what have we to be afraid of? What is it that stands in the way? Father, what is it that stands in the way?--But where is father? (Sees NORDAN outside the window.) Uncle Nordan! This is a surprise! (Hurries across the room, throws herself into NORDAN's arms as he enters, and bursts into tears.) Nordan. Oh, you goose! You great goose! Svava. You must come and talk to me! Nordan. Isn't that what I am here for? Svava. And I thought you were up in the mountains and could not hear from us. Nordan. So I was. But when I got telegram after telegram, as long as they could reach me, and then one express letter after another--and now the end of it all is--well, I don't suppose I dare even mention his name here now? (RIIS comes in from his room.) Riis. At last! We have been so anxious for you to come! Mrs. Riis (who has at last risen and come forward). Thank you for coming, dear doctor! Nordan (looking at her). There is something serious up, then? Mrs. Riis. I have something I want to say to you. Nordan. Yes, but just now away you go, you two! Let me talk to this booby. (MRS. RIIS goes out to the left. SVAVA follows her for a minute.) Riis. I just want to tell you that in a little while-- Nordan.--the whole pack of Christensens will be here? I know that. Go away now. Riis. Nordan! (Whispers to him.) Nordan. Yes, yes!--Quite so!--No, of course not! (Tries to stop his whispering.) Do you suppose I don't know what I am about? Be off with you! (SVAVA comes in, as her father goes out.) Svava. Dear Uncle Nordan! At last, somebody that will agree with me! Nordan. Am I? Svava. Oh, Uncle Nordan, you don't know what these days have been like! Nordan. And the nights too, I expect?--although, with all that, you don't look so bad. Svava. The last night or two I have slept. Nordan. Really? Then I see how things stand. You are a tough customer, you are! Svava. Oh, don't begin saying a lot of things you don't mean, uncle. Nordan. Things I don't mean! Svava. You always do, you know. But we haven't time for that now. I am all on fire! Nordan. Well, what is this you have been doing? Svava. Ah, you see, you are beginning again! Nordan. Beginning again? Who the devil has put the idea into your head that I ever say anything but what I mean? Come and let us sit down. (Brings a chair forward.) Svava (bringing her chair close to his). There now! Nordan. Since I was here last, I believe you have promulgated a brand-new law on the subject of love? I congratulate you. Svava. Have I? Nordan. A superhuman, Svava-woven one--derived from seraphic heights, I should imagine! "There shall be only one love in a man's life, and it shall be directed only to one object." Full stop! Svava. Have I said anything like that? Nordan. Is it not you that have thrown over a young man because he has had the audacity to fall in love before he saw you? Svava. Do you take it in that way, too? Nordan. In that way? Is there any other way for a sensible man to take it? A fine young fellow honesty, adores you; a distinguished family throw their doors wide open to you, as if you were a princess; and then you turn round and say: "You have not waited for me ever since you were a child! Away with you!" Svava (springing up). What, you too! You too! And the same talk! The same stupid talk! Nordan. I can tell you what it is; if you do not give consideration to everything that can be said on the other side, you are stupid.--No, it is no use going away from me and marching up and down! I shall begin and march up and down too, if you do! Come here and sit. Or _daren't_ you go thoroughly into the question with me? Svava. Yes, I dare. (Sits down again.) Nordan. Well, to begin with, do you not think there must certainly be two sides to a question that is discussed by serious men and women all over the world? Svava. This only concerns me! And as far as I am concerned there is only one side to it. Nordan. You do not understand me, child! You shall settle your own affairs ultimately, and nobody else--of course. But suppose what you have to settle is not quite so simple as you think it? Suppose it is a problem that at the present moment is exercising the minds of thousands and thousands of people? Do you not think it is your duty to give some consideration to the usual attitude towards it, and to what is generally thought and said about it? Do you think it is conscientious to condemn in a single instance without doing that? Svava. I understand! I think I have done what you are urging me to do. Ask mother! Nordan. Oh, I daresay you and your mother have chattered and read a lot about marriage and the woman question, and about abolishing distinctions of class--now you want to abolish distinctions of sex too. But as regards this special question? Svava. What do you consider I have overlooked? Nordan. Just this. Are you right in being equally as strict with men as with women? Eh? Svava. Yes, of course. Nordan. Is it so much a matter of course? Go out and ask any one you meet. Out of every hundred you ask, ninety will say "no"--even out of a hundred women! Svava. Do you think so? I think people are beginning to think otherwise. Nordan. Possibly. But experience is necessary if one is to answer a question like that. Svava. Do you mean what you say? Nordan. That is none of your business. Besides, I always mean what I say.--A woman can marry when is sixteen; a man must wait till he is five-and-twenty, or thirty. There is a difference. Svava. There _is_ a difference! There are many, many times more unmarried women than men, and they exhibit self-control. Men find it more convenient to make a law of their want of self-control! Nordan. An answer like that only displays ignorance. Man is a polygamous animal, like many other animals--a theory that is very strongly supported by the fact that women so outnumber men in the world. I daresay that is something you have never heard before? Svava. Yes, I have heard it! Nordan. Don't you laugh at science! What else we to put faith in, I should like to know? Svava. I should just like men to have the same trouble over their children that women do! Just let them have that, Uncle Nordan, and I fancy they would soon change their principles! Just let them experience it! Nordan. They have no time for that; they have to govern the world. Svava. Yes, they have allotted the parts themselves!--Now, tell me this, Dr. Nordan. Is it cowardly not to practise what you preach? Nordan. Of course it is. Svava. Then why do you not do it? Nordan. I? I have always been a regular monster. Don't you know that, dear child? Svava. Dear Uncle Nordan--you have such long white locks; why do you wear them like that? Nordan. Oh, well--I have my reasons. Svava. What are they? Nordan. We won't go into that now. Svava. You told me the reason once. Nordan. Did I? Svava. I wanted, one day, to take hold of your hair, but you would not let me. You said: "Do you know why you must not do that?"--"No," I said.--"Because no one has done that for more than thirty years."--"Who was it that did it last?" I asked.--"It was a little girl, that you are very like," you answered. Nordan. So I told you that, did I? Svava. "And she was one of your grandmother's younger sisters," you said to me. Nordan. She was. It was quite true. And you are like her, my child. Svava. And then you told me that the year you went to college she was standing beside you one day and caught up some locks of your hair in her fingers. "You must never wear your hair shorter than this," she said. She went away, and you went away; and when, one day, you wrote and asked her whether you two did not belong to one another, her answer was "yes." And a month later she was dead. Nordan. She was dead. Svava. And ever since then--you dear, queer old uncle--you have considered yourself as married to her. (He nods.) And ever since the evening you told me that--and I lay awake a long time, thinking over it--I wanted, even when I was quite a young girl, to choose some one I could have perfect confidence in. And then I chose wrong. Nordan. Did you, Svava? Svava. Do not ask me any more about that.--Then I chose once again, and this time I was certain! For never had truer eyes looked in mine. And how happy we were together! Day after day it always seemed new, and the days were always too short. I dare not think about now. Oh, it is sinful to deceive us so!--not deceit in words, it is true, but in letting us give them our admiration and our most intimate confidences. Not in words, no--and yet, it is in words; because they accept all we say, and are silent themselves, and by that very fact make our words their own. Our simple-mindedness pleases them as a bit of unspoilt nature, and it is just by means of that that they deceive us. It creates an intimacy between us and an atmosphere of happy give-and-take of jests, which we think can exist only on one presupposition--and really it is all a sham. I cannot understand how any one can so treat the one he loves--for he did love me! Nordan. He does love you. Svava (getting up). But not as I loved him! All these years I have not been frittering away my love. Besides, I have had too high an ideal of what loving and being loved should be; and just for that reason I felt a deep desire to be loved--I can say so to you. And when love came, seemed to take all my strength from me; but I felt I should always be safe with him, and so I let him see it and gloried in his seeing it. That is the bitterest part of it to me now--because he was unworthy of it. He has said to me: "I cannot bear to see any one else touch you!" and "When I catch a glimpse of your arm, I think to myself that it has been round my neck--mine, and no one else's in the world." And I felt proud and happy when he said so, because I thought it was true. Hundreds of times I had imagined some one's saying that to me some day. But I never imagined that the one who would say it would be a man who--oh, it is disgusting! When I think what it means, it makes me ready to hate him. The mere thought that he has had his arms round me--has touched me--makes me shudder! I am not laying down rules for any one else, but what I am doing seems to me a matter of course. Every fibre of my being tells me that. I must be left in peace! Nordan. I see that this is more serious, and goes deeper, than I had any suspicion of. None of them understand it that way, Alfred least of all. He is only hurt--distressed and hurt at the thought that you could distrust him. Svava. I know that. Nordan. Yes--well--don't take up such a high and mighty attitude! I assure you that is how it will appear to most people. Svava. Do you think so? I think people are beginning to think otherwise. Nordan. Most people will think: "Other girls forgive things like that, especially when they love a man." Svava. There are some that will answer: "If she had not loved him, she might have forgiven him." Nordan. And yet, Svava?--and yet? Svava. But, uncle, do you not understand? I do not know that I can explain it, either; because, to do that, I should have to explain what it is that we read into the face, the character, the manner of the man we love--his voice, his smile. That is what I have lost. Its meaning is gone. Nordan. For a while, yes--till you have had a breathing space. Svava. No, no, no! Do you remember that song of mine, about the beloved one's image? that one always sees it as if it were framed in happiness? Do you remember it? Nordan. Yes. Svava. Very well--I cannot see it like that any longer. I see it, of course--but always with pain. Always! Am I to forgive that, because other girls forgive it? What is that they have loved, these other girls? Can you tell me that? Because what I loved is gone. I am not going to sit down and try to conjure it up in my imagination again. I shall find something else to do. Nordan. You are embittered now. You have had your ideal thoroughly shattered, and as long as you are smarting from that it is no use reasoning with you. So I will only beg one thing of you--one single little thing. But you must promise me to do it? Svava. If I can. Nordan. You can. There are things to take into consideration. Ask for time to think it all over! Svava. Ah!--mother has been writing to you! Nordan. And if she has? Your mother knows what depends upon it. Svava. What depends upon it? Why do you speak so mysteriously, as if we were not on secure ground? Aren't we? Father talks about giving up this place. Why? Nordan. I suppose he thinks it will be necessary. Svava. Father? On grounds of economy? Nordan. Not in the least! No, but all the gossips in the place will be at you. What you propose to do is a regular challenge, you know. Svava. Oh, we can stand criticism! Father has some queer principles, you know; but his own life--. Surely no one has any doubt about that? Nordan. Listen to me, my child. You cannot prevent people inventing things. So be careful! Svava. What do you mean? Nordan. I mean that you ought to go for a stroll in the park and pull yourself together a little, before the Christensens come. Try to be calm; come in calmly, and request time to think it over. That is all you have to do! They will make no difficulty about that, because they must agree. Nothing has happened yet, and all ways are still open. Do as I ask! Svava. I _have_ thought it over--and you will never get me to do anything else. Nordan. No, no. It is only a matter of form. Svava. What? You mean something more than that, I know. Nordan. What an obstinate girl you are!--Can you not do it then, let me say, for your mother's sake? Your mother is a good woman. Svava. What will they think, if I come in and say: "Will you not give me time to consider the matter?" No, I cannot do that. Nordan. What will you say, then? Svava. I would rather say nothing at all. But if I absolutely must say something-- Nordan. Of course you must! Svava. Well, I will go out now and think it over. (Turns to go, but stops.) But what you want can never be. Nordan. It must be! Svava (standing by the door). You said just now: "Your mother is a good woman." It sounded almost as if you laid stress on the word "mother"? Nordan. Suppose I did? Svava. Is father not that, too? Nordan. Your father a good woman? Svava. Why do you try to turn it off with a joke? Nordan. Because it is serious, confound it all! Svava. Can I not believe father--? Nordan. Hush! Svava. Father?--Is it possible that he too--? Do people say that? (NORDAN does not answer, and does not move.) Shameful! Impossible! I say it is impossible! (Rushes out. RIIS comes in from the right.) Riis. What is the matter with Svava? Nordan (coming forward). There was nothing else for it. Riis. Nothing else for it? What do you mean? Nordan. No, devil take it!--there was nothing else for it. Riis. Quite so--but what? Nordan. What do you say? Riis. No, what were you saying--? Nordan. What was I saying? Riis. You said there was nothing else for it. You alarm me. Nordan. Do I? Then you did not hear right. (Moves away from him.) Riis. Didn't hear right? You were swearing about it too! Nordan. That I certainly did not. Riis. Very well then, you didn't. But how did you get on with Svava? Won't you answer me? Nordan. How did I get on with Svava? Riis. Why are you so preoccupied? Are things so bad, then? Nordan. Preoccupied? Why should I be that? Riis. You ought to know best. I was asking about Svava--how you got on with Svava--and I think I have the right to know. Nordan. Look here, Riis. Riis. Yes? (NORDAN takes him by the arm.) What is it? Nordan. Did you see Svava? Riis. Hurrying away out through the park? Yes. My dear chap, what was it? Nordan. It was the Greek tragedy. Riis. The Greek--? Nordan. Only the name--only the name! Well, you know what the word means, don't you? Riis. The Greek--? Nordan. No, no--not "Greek," but "tragedy"? Riis. Something mournful--? Nordan. Far from it! Something amusing! It came to Greece with the worship of Dionysus, in whose train there was a goat-- Riis (draws his arm away). A goat? What on earth--? Nordan. Yes, you may well be surprised--because it sang! Riis. Sang? Nordan. Yes--and is still singing, of course! And paints! There are pictures by him in every exhibition. And works in bronze and marble! Wonderful! And such a courtier as he is, too! It is he that designs ball-dresses and arranges entertainments-- Riis. Have you gone raving mad? Nordan. Why do you ask that? Riis. I am waiting patiently here till you have done talking such damned nonsense! We are accustomed to something of the sort when you are in one of those humours, but to-day I can't understand a blessed word of what you are saying. Nordan. Don't you, my dear fellow? Riis. Can you not tell me what my daughter said? Isn't it ridiculous that I cannot get that out of you! Now, briefly and intelligibly, what did she say? Nordan. Do you want to know? Riis. He asks that! Nordan. She said she pitied all the innocent young girls that, generation after generation, disappear-- Riis. Where to? Nordan. That is just it--where to? She said: "They are brought up in pious ignorance, and finally the unsuspecting creatures are wrapped up in a long white veil that they shall not be able to see distinctly where they are being taken to." Riis. Now you are talking your mythology again. Am I not to-- Nordan. Be quiet! It is your daughter that is speaking. "But I will not do that," she said. "I will enter confidently into the holy estate of matrimony, and sit down by the hearth in the land of my fathers, and bring up children in the sight of my husband. But he shall be as chaste as I; for otherwise he stains my child's head, when he kisses it, and dishonours me."--There, that is what she said, and she looked so splendid as she said it. (A ring is heard at the bell.) Riis. They are upon us! They are upon us! What in the world is going to happen? We are in a muddle of the most preposterous theories! The whole heathen mythology is buzzing round in my head! (Hurries to the door to meet MR. and MRS. CHRISTENSEN, whom MARGIT is showing in.) I am so happy to see you!--so very happy! But your son? Christensen. We could not get him to come with us. Riis. I am very sorry!--At the same time, I quite understand. Christensen. I admire the beauty of this place afresh every time I see it, my dear sir! Mrs. Christensen. This beautiful old park! I wanted once--. Oh, good morning, doctor! How are you? Nordan. So, so! Riis (to MARGIT). Please tell Mrs. Riis. And--oh, there she is. (MRS. RIIS comes in by the door at the left.) And tell Miss Svava. Nordan. She is out in the park (pointing)--out that way. (Exit MARGIT.) Riis. No, this way!--That's right! Go straight on till you find her. Mrs. Christensen (who meantime has come forward with MRS. RIIS). I have been thinking so much about you the last day or two, my dear! What a tiresome business this is! Mrs. Riis. Do you mind my asking if you knew anything about it before? Mrs. Christensen. What is there that a mother--and a wife--escapes the knowledge of nowadays, my dear! She was in my service, you know. Come here! (Tells MRS. RIIS something in a whisper, ending with something about "discovery" and "dismissal.") Riis (offering the ladies chairs). Won't you sit down?--Oh, I beg your pardon! I did not see--. (Hurries to CHRISTENSEN.) Excuse me, but are you really comfortable in that chair? Christensen. Thank you, I am just as uncomfortable here as anywhere else. It is the sitting down and getting up again that bothers me more than anything else. (Looks round.) I have just been to see him. Riis. Hoff? Christensen. Honest fellow. Stupid. Riis. So long as he holds his tongue-- Christensen. He'll do that. Riis. Thank heaven for that! Then we have only ourselves to consider. I suppose it cost you a bit? Christensen. Not a penny! Riis. You got out of it cheap, then. Christensen. Yes, didn't I? Still, as a matter of fact, he has cost me quite enough already--although he knows nothing about that. Riis. Indeed? When he failed, I suppose. Christensen. No, when he married. Riis. Oh, I understand. Christensen. And I didn't think I should hear any more about it after that.--You ladies seem to be having a fine game of whispering! (MRS. CHRISTENSEN comes forward. RIIS places chairs for her and his wife.) Mrs. Christensen. I was telling Mrs. Riis about the Miss Tang affair. She really seems to have risen from her grave! Christensen. Is your daughter at home, may I ask? Riis. I have sent to fetch her. Mrs. Christensen. I hope the last few days have taught her a lesson too, poor girl! She suffers from a fault that unusually clever people are very liable to--I mean self-righteousness. Riis. Exactly! You are perfectly right! But I should call it arrogance! Mrs. Christensen. I should not like to say that--but presumption, perhaps. Mrs. Riis. Why do you say that, Mrs. Christensen? Mrs. Christensen. Because of various conversations I have had with her. I was speaking to her once about a man's being his wife's master. In these days it is a good thing to impress that on young girls. Christensen. Yes, indeed! Mrs. Christensen. And when I reminded her of certain words of St. Paul's, she said: "Yes, it is behind those bars that we women are still shut up." Then I knew that something would happen. Pride goes before a fall, you know. Christensen. Oh, come, come! That won't do at all! Your chain of reasoning isn't sound! Mrs. Christensen. How? Christensen. It is not. Because in the first place it was not Miss Riis that fell, but your precious son. And in the second place his fall was not a consequence of Miss Riis's pride, because of course it happened many years before Miss Riis showed any of her pride. So that if you knew that his fall would happen as a consequence of Miss Riis's pride, you knew something that you certainly did not know. Mrs. Christensen. Oh, you are making fun of me! Christensen. I ought to be at a committee meeting punctually at one.--May I ask what has become of your daughter? Riis. Indeed I am really beginning to wonder--(During the foregoing, NORDAN has remained in the background, sometimes in the room and sometimes outside in the park. MARGIT now goes fast the window outside, and NORDAN is heard speaking to her.) Nordan. Have you only just found her? Margit. No, sir--I have been down once already to take Miss Riis her hat, gloves and parasol. Nordan. Is she going out? Margit. I don't know, sir. (Goes out.) Christensen. Dear me! Riis. What does it mean? (Turns to go and fetch her.) Nordan. No, no! Do not you go! Mrs. Riis. I expect I had better go-- Riis. Yes, you go! Nordan. No, I will go. I am afraid I am responsible for--. (As he goes) I'll answer for it I will bring her back! Christensen. Dear me! Mrs. Christensen (getting up). I am afraid, my dear Mrs. Riis, we have come at an inconvenient time for your daughter? Riis. Ah, you must be lenient with her! I assure you it is these high-flown ideas--this reading, that her mother has not been nearly firm enough in keeping her from. Mrs. Riis. I? What are you talking about? Riis. I say that this is a very important moment! And at moments like this one sees very clearly, very--well, that is what happens! Christensen. Your husband, Mrs. Riis, has suddenly had the same sort of revelation as our parson had lately--I should say, my wife's parson. It was one day just after dinner--after an extremely good dinner, by the way--a moment when a man often has very bright ideas. We were talking about all the things a woman has to learn now, as compared with the old days, and how some people say it is mere waste of time because she will forget it all again when she marries. "Yes," said parson, looking very pleased, "my wife has completely forgotten how to spell; I hope she will soon forget how to write, too!" Mrs. Christensen. You imitate people so well, that one cannot help laughing--although it isn't right. (CHRISTENSEN looks at his watch.) Riis. It doesn't look as if they were coming back?--Will you go, or shall I? Mrs. Riis (getting up). I will go. But you could not expect them already-- Riis (coming close up to her and speaking in an undertone). This is your doing! I see it clearly! Mrs. Riis. I do not think you know what you are saying. (Goes out.) Riis (coming forward). I really must apologise most humbly! It is the last thing I should ever have expected of Svava--because I pride myself that the obligations of courtesy have never been disregarded in my house before. Mrs. Christensen. Perhaps something has happened? Riis. I beg your pardon?--Good heavens! Mrs. Christensen. Oh, do not misunderstand me! I only mean that young girls are so easily agitated, and then they do not like to show themselves. Riis. All the same, Mrs. Christensen, all the same! At such a moment as this, too!--You really must excuse me, I shall have no peace till I find out for myself what has happened! (Hurries out.) Christensen. If Alfred had been here, I suppose he would have been running about all over the park after these females, too. Mrs. Christensen. Really, my dear! Christensen. Aren't we alone? Mrs. Christensen. Yes, but still--! Christensen. Well, I say, as a certain famous man said before me: "What the devil was he doing in that galley?" Mrs. Christensen. Do have a moment's patience! It is really necessary. Christensen. Bah! Necessary! Riis is more afraid of a rupture than any of us. Did you see him just now? Mrs. Christensen. Yes, of course I did, but-- Christensen. She has already gone much farther than she has any right to. Mrs. Christensen. So Alfred thinks, too. Christensen. Then he should have been here now, to say so. I asked him to come. Mrs. Christensen. He is in love, and that makes a man a little timid. Christensen. Nonsense! Mrs. Christensen. Oh, that passes off when one is in love as often as you are. (Gets up.) Here they come!--No, not Svava. Christensen. Is she not with them? Mrs. Christensen. I don't see her. Riis (appearing at the door). Here they are! Mrs. Christensen. And your daughter too? Riis. Yes, Svava too. She asked the others to go on ahead of her. I expect she wanted to collect herself a little. Mrs. Christensen (sitting down again). Ah, you see, it was just what I thought, poor child! Mrs. Riis (coming in). She will be here in a moment! (Goes up to MRS. CHRISTENSEN.) You must forgive her, Mrs. Christensen; she has had a bad time of it. Mrs. Christensen. Bless my soul, of course I understand that! The first time one has an experience of this kind, it tells on one. Christensen. This is positively beginning to get amusing! [Enter NORDAN.] Nordan. Here we are! She asked me to come on little ahead of her. Riis. She is not going to keep us waiting any longer, I hope? Nordan. She was just behind me. Riis. Here she is! (Goes to the door to meet her; NORDAN and MRS. RIIS do the same from the other side of the room.) Christensen. One would think she were the Queen of Sheba. (SVAVA comes in, wearing her hat, and with her gloves and parasol in her hand. CHRISTENSEN and MRS. CHRISTENSEN get up from their seats. She bows slightly to them, and comes to the front of the stage on the right-hand side. All sit down in silence. NORDAN is at the extreme left, then MRS. RIIS, MRS. CHRISTENSEN and CHRISTENSEN. At the extreme right, but a little behind the others, is RIIS, who is sitting down one minute and standing the next.) Mrs. Christensen. My dear Svava, we have come here to--well, you know what we have come for. What has happened has distressed us very much; but what is done cannot be undone. None of us can excuse Alfred. But all the same we think that he might be granted forgiveness, especially at the hands of one who must know that he loves her, and loves her sincerely. That makes it a different matter altogether, of course. Christensen. Of course! Riis. Of course! Nordan. Of course! Mrs. Christensen. And, even if you don't quite agree with me about that, I hope you will agree with me about Alfred himself. I mean to say, that we consider his character, my dear Svava, should vouch to you for his fidelity. I know that, if you require it, he will give you his word of honour that-- Mrs. Riis (getting up). No! No! Mrs. Christensen. What is the matter, my dear Mrs. Riis? Mrs. Riis. No words of honour! He has to take an oath when he marries, anyway. Nordan. But surely two make it all the safer, Mrs. Riis? Mrs. Riis. No, no! No oath! (Sits down again.) Christensen. I was struck with our friend Dr. Nordan's remark. Tell me, my dear sir, do you also take it for granted that the sort of thing my son has done ought to be an absolute bar to marriage with an honourable woman? Nordan. Quite the contrary! I am quite sure it never prevents any one getting married--and remarkably well married. It is only Svava that is behaving in an extraordinary manner in every respect. Mrs. Christensen. I would not go so far as to say that; but there is one thing that Svava has overlooked. She is acting as if she were free. But she is not by any means free. A betrothal is equivalent to a marriage; at any rate, I am old-fashioned enough to consider it so, And the man to whom I have given my hand is thereby made my master and given authority over me, and I owe to him--as to a superior authority--my respect, whether he act well or ill. I cannot give him notice, or run away from him. Riis. That is old-fashioned and sensible. I thank you heartily, Mrs. Christensen! Nordan. And I too! Mrs. Riis. But if it is too late after the betrothal--. (Checks herself.) Mrs. Christensen. What do you mean, dear Mrs. Riis? Mrs. Riis. Oh, nothing nothing at all. Nordan. Mrs. Riis means that if it is too late after the betrothal, why do people not speak out before they are betrothed? Riis. What a thing to say! Christensen. Well, it wouldn't be such a bad thing, would it? I imagine proposals in future being worded somewhat in this way: "My dear Miss So-and-So, up to date I have had such and such a number of love affairs--that is to say, so many big ones and so many little ones." Don't you think it would be a capital way to lead the conversation on to-- Nordan.--to assuring her that she is the only one you have ever loved? Christensen. Well, not exactly that, but-- Riis. Here comes Alfred! Mrs. Riis. Alfred? Mrs. Christensen. Yes, it really is he! Riis (who has gone to the door to meet ALFRED). Ah, that is right! We are so glad you have come! Christensen. Well, my boy? Alfred. When it came to the point, I could not do anything else--I had to come here. Christensen. I quite agree with you. Riis. Yes, it was only the natural thing to do. (ALFRED comes forward and bows respectfully to SVAVA. She bows slightly, but without looking at him. He steps back again.) Nordan. Good morning, my boy! Alfred. Perhaps I have come at an inconvenient moment. Riis. Not a bit of it! Quite the contrary! Alfred. At the same time, it seems evident to me that my presence is not welcome to Miss Riis. (No one answers him.) Mrs. Christensen. But it is a family council we are holding--isn't it, my dear girl? Riis. I assure you, you _are_ welcome! And we are all particularly anxious to hear what you have to say! Christensen. That is so. Alfred. I have not succeeded in getting a hearing yet, you know. I have been refused admittance repeatedly--both in person and when I wrote. So I thought that if I came now, perhaps I should get a hearing. Riis. Of course. Who can object to that? Nordan. You shall have your hearing. Alfred. Perhaps I may take Miss Riis's silence to mean permission? In that case--well--it is nothing so very much that I have to say, either. It is merely to remind you that, when I asked for Miss Riis's hand, it was because I loved her with all my heart--her and no one else. I could not imagine any greater happiness, and any greater honour, than to be loved by her in return. And so I think still. (He pauses, as if he expected an answer. They all look at SVAVA.) What explanation I could have given of my own free will--indeed what explanation, under other circumstances, I should have felt impelled to give--I shall say nothing about now. But I _owe_ no explanation! My honour demands that I should make point of that. It is my future that I owe to her. And with regard to that I must confess I have been hurt--deeply hurt--by the fact that Miss Riis could doubt me for a moment. Never in my life has any one doubted me before. With all respect, I must insist that my word shall be taken. (They are all silent.) That is all I have to say. Mrs. Riis (getting up unwillingly). But, Alfred, suppose a woman, under the same circumstances, had come and said the same thing--who would believe her? (They are all silent. SVAVA bursts into tears.) Mrs. Christensen. Poor child! Riis. Believe her? Mrs. Riis. Yes, believe her. Believe her if, after past like that, she came and assured us that she would make an honest wife? Christensen. After a past like that? Mrs. Riis. Perhaps that is putting it too harshly. But why should you require her to believe a man any more readily than a man would believe her? Because he would not believe her for a moment. Riis (coming up behind her). Are you absolutely mad? Christensen (half rising). Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen; the two young people must settle the affair now! (Sits down again.) Alfred. I must confess I have never thought of what Mrs. Riis has just said, because such a thing never could happen. No man of honour would choose a woman of whose past he was not certain. Never! Mrs. Riis. But what about a woman of honour, Alfred? Alfred. Ah, that is quite different. Nordan. To put it precisely: a woman owes a man both her past and her future; a man owes a woman only his future. Alfred. Well, if you like to put it that way--yes. Nordan (to SVAVA, as he gets up). I wanted you to postpone your answer, my child. But now I think you ought to answer at once. (SVAVA goes up to ALFRED, flings her glove in his face, and goes straight into her room. ALFRED turns and looks after her. RIIS disappears into his room on the right. Every one has risen from their seats. MRS. CHRISTENSEN takes ALFRED by the arm and goes nut with him; CHRISTENSEN follows them. MRS. RIIS is standing at the door of the room which SVAVA has locked after her.) Nordan. That was throwing down a gauntlet, if you like! Mrs. Riis (calling through the door). Svava! Christensen (coming in and speaking to NORDAN, who has taken no notice of him and has not turned round). Then it is to be war?--Well, I fancy I know a thing or two about war. (Goes out. NORDAN turns round and stands looking after him.) Mrs. Riis (still at the door). Svava! (RIIS comes rushing out of his room, with his hat on and his gloves and stick in his hand, and follows the CHRISTENSENS.) Svava! ACT III SCENE I (SCENE.--DR. NORDAN'S garden, behind his neat one-storied house. He is sitting on a chair in the foreground reading. His old servant, THOMAS, opens the how door and looks out.) Thomas. Doctor! Nordan. What is it? (ALFRED comes into sight in the doorway.) Oh, it is you! (Gets up.) Well, my boy? You don't look up to much! Alfred. No, but never mind that. Can you give me a bit of breakfast? Nordan. Have you had no breakfast yet? Have you not been home then?--not been home all night?--not since yesterday? (Calls) Thomas! Alfred. And when I have had something to eat, may I have a talk with you? Nordan. Of course, my dear boy. (To THOMAS, who has come out of the house) Get some breakfast laid in that room, please (pointing to a window on the left). Alfred. And may I have a wash too? Nordan. Go with Thomas. I will be with you directly. (ALFRED and THOMAS go into the house. Then a carriage is heard stopping outside.) There is a carriage. Go and see who it is, Thomas. I won't see any patients! I am going away to-morrow. Thomas. It is Mr. Christensen. (Goes into the house again.) Nordan. Oho! (Goes to the window on the left.) Alfred! Alfred (coming to the window). Yes? Nordan. It is your father! If you do not want to be seen, pull down the blind. (The blind is dulled dawn.) Thomas (showing in CHRISTENSEN). Will you come this way please, sir. (CHRISTENSEN is in court dress protected by a dustcoat, and wears the cross of a Knight Commander of the Order of St. Olaf.) Christensen. I hope I do not disturb you, doctor? Nordan. Not at all!--In full dress! I congratulate you. Christensen. Yes, we newly-fledged knights have to go to Court to-day. But do you mind if I spend a minute or two here with you before I go on to the palace?--Any news from over there? From the Riis's? Nordan. No. They are sitting waiting for the "war" to begin, I expect. Christensen. They shall not have to wait long, then! I have made up my mind to begin it to-day. Has she come to her senses, by any chance? Women usually feel things like that very acutely. But they usually get over it, too. Nordan. I do not think so. But I bow before your experience. Christensen. Thank you! I should think that, as an old hand at playing the buffer in family jars, you had a much greater experience. Yesterday she was like an electric eel! And she gave her shock, too! The boy has not been home since. I am almost glad of that; it shows he has some sense of shame. I was beginning to doubt it. Nordan. It is the coming "war" that interests me. Christensen. Oh, you are anxious to see that, are you? Very well. As a matter of fact there is no need to draw up a plan of campaign. That affair of Mrs. North's can be taken up again any day, my dear fellow! It is in the hands of the bank, you know. Nordan. But what has that to do with your son engagement? Christensen. What has it to do with it? Miss Riis gives my son his dismissal because she cannot tolerate his conduct before marriage. Her own father indulges in the same sort of conduct when he is well on in married life! Tableau vivant tres curieux!--to use a language Mr. Riis is very fond of. Nordan. It is a shame to talk like that--because your son is the only one to blame in this matter. Christensen. My son is not in the least to blame in the matter! He has not done the slightest thing that could harm or discredit the Riis's--not the slightest thing! He is a man of honour, who has given Miss Riis his promise and has kept it. Will any one dare to contradict that? Or to suggest that he will not keep his promise? If any one doubts him, it is an insult. Dr. Nordan! In this matter the alternatives are either an apology and peace--or war. For I am not going to put up with this sort of thing; and if my son puts up with it, I shall despise him. Nordan. Oh, I quite believe your son had every honourable intention when he gave his promise. And very likely he would have kept it, too; I cannot say for certain, because I have learnt to doubt. I am a doctor--I have seen too much--and he did not appear to great advantage yesterday. You really must forgive my saying so--but after the liveliness of his young days, coupled with the tendencies he has inherited, do you think he really had any right to be surprised if people doubted him?--if his fiancee doubted him? Had he really any right to feel insulted, or to demand apologies? Apologies for what? For having doubted his virtue?--Just consider that! Christensen. Why, what--? Nordan. One moment! I was only half done. You said something about a reconciliation, you know; of course by that you meant a marriage. If your son is willing to marry a woman who distrusts him, then I shall despise him. Christensen. Really--! Nordan. Yes, indeed I shall. Our opinions are as different as all that. To my way of thinking, your son's only course is to submit--and wait; to keep silence, and wait--always supposing, of course, that he still loves her. That is my view of it. Christensen. Well, I imagine that there are very few candidates for matrimony who have not been guilty of what my son has been guilty of; indeed, I am sure of it. And I imagine, too, that they have the same unfortunate "hereditary tendencies"--an expression on which you laid stress out of special friendship for me. But is that any reason why girls who are betrothed should behave as Miss Riis has been doing?--scream, and run away, and create a scandal? We should not be able to hear ourselves speak! It would be the queerest sort of anarchy the world has ever seen! Why, such doctrines as that are contrary to the very nature and order of things! They are mad! And when, into the bargain, they are thrown at our heads as if they were decisions of a High Court of Morality--well, then I strike! Good-bye! (Starts to go, but turns back.) And who is it that these High Court of Morality's decisions would for the most part affect, do you suppose? Just the ablest and most vigorous of our young men. Are we going to turn them out and make a separate despised caste of them? And what things would be affected, do you suppose? A great part of the world's literature and art; a great part of all that is loveliest and most captivating in the life of to-day; the world's greatest cities, most particularly--those wonders of the world--teeming with their millions of people! Let me tell you this: the life that disregards marriage or loosens the bonds of marriage, or transforms the whole institution--you know very well what I mean--the life that is accused of using the "weapons of seduction" in its fashions, its luxury, its entertainments, its art, its theatre--that life is one of the most potent factors in these teeming cities, one of the most fruitful sources of their existence! No one who has seen it can have any doubt about it, however ingenuous he may pretend to be. Are we to wish to play havoc with all that too?--to disown the flower of the world's youth, and ruin the world's finest cities? It seems to me that people wish to do so much in the name of morality, that they end by wishing to do what would be subversive of all morality. Nordan. You are certainly embarking on your little war in the true statesmanlike spirit! Christensen. It is nothing but sound common-sense, my dear sir; that is all that is necessary, I am sure. I shill have the whole town on my side, you may be certain of that! Thomas (appearing at the house door). Doctor! Nordan (turning round). Is it possible! (Hurries to the doorway, in which MRS. RIIS appears.) Mrs. Riis. May I--? Nordan. Of course! Will you come out here? Mrs. Riis (to CHRISTENSEN, who bows to her). My visit is really to you, Mr. Christensen. Christensen. I am honoured. Mrs. Riis. I happened to look out into the street just as your carriage stopped and you got out. So I thought I would seize the opportunity--because you threatened us yesterday, you know. Is that not so? You declared war against us? Christensen. My recollection of it is that war was declared, Mrs. Riis, but that I merely accepted the challenge. Mrs. Riis. And what line is your campaign going to take, if I may ask the question? Christensen. I have just had the honour of explaining my position to the doctor. I do not know whether it would be gallant to do as much to you. Nordan. I will do it, then. The campaign will be directed against your husband. Mr. Christensen takes the offensive. Mrs. Riis. Naturally!--because you know you can strike at him. But I have come to ask you to think better of it. Christensen (with a laugh). Really? Mrs. Riis. Once--many years ago now--I took my child in my arms and threatened to leave my husband. Thereupon he mentioned the name of another man, and shielded himself behind that--for it was a distinguished name. "See how lenient that man's wife is," he said. "And, because she is so, all her friends are lenient, and that will be all the better for their child." Those were his words. Christensen. Well, as far as the advice they implied was concerned, it was good advice--and no doubt you followed it. Mrs. Riis. The position of a divorced woman is a very humiliating one in the eyes of the world, and the daughter of such a woman fares very little better. The rich and distinguished folk who lead the fashion take care of that. Christensen. But what--? Mrs. Riis. That is my excuse for not having the courage to leave him. I was thinking of my child's future. But it is my husband's excuse, too; because he is one of those who follows the example of others. Christensen. We all do that, Mrs. Riis. Mrs. Riis. But it is the leaders of society that set the example, for the most part; and in this matter they set a tempting one. I suppose I can hardly be mistaken in thinking that I have heard your view of this matter, all along, through my husband's mouth? Or, if I am mistaken in that, I at all events surely heard it more accurately yesterday, when I heard your voice in everything that your son said? Christensen. I stand by every word of what my son said. Mrs. Riis. I thought so. This campaign of yours will really be a remarkable one! I see your influence in everything that has happened, from first to last. You are the moving spirit of the whole campaign--on both sides! Nordan. Before you answer, Christensen--may I ask you, Mrs. Riis, to consider whether you want to make the breach hopelessly irreparable? Do you mean to make a reconciliation between the young people quite impossible? Mrs. Riis. It is impossible, as it is. Nordan. Why? Mrs. Riis. Because all confidence is destroyed. Nordan. More so now than before? Mrs. Riis. Yes. I will confess that up to the moment. When Alfred's word of honour was offered yesterday--up to the moment when he demanded that his word of honour should be believed--I did not recognise the fact that it was my own story over again. But it was--word for word my own story! That was just the way we began; who will vouch for it that the sequel would not be the same as in our case? Christensen. My son's character will vouch for that, Mrs. Riis! Mrs. Riis. Character? A nice sort of character a man is likely to develop who indulges in secret and illicit courses from his boyhood! That is the very way faithlessness is bred. If any one wants to know the reason why character is such a rare thing, I think they will find the answer in that. Christensen. A man's youth is by no means the test of his life. That depends on his marriage. Mrs. Riis. And why should a man's faithlessness disappear when he is married? Can you tell me that? Christensen. Because then he loves, of course. Mrs. Riis. Because he loves? But do you mean that he has not loved before then? How absolutely you men have blinded yourselves!--No, love is not the least likely to be lasting when the will is vitiated. And that is what it is--vitiated by the life a bachelor leads. Christensen. And yet I know plenty of sensual men who have strong wills. Mrs. Riis. I am not speaking of strength of will, but of purity, faithfulness, nobility of will. Christensen. Well, if my son is to be judged by any such nonsensical standard as that, I am devoutly thankful he has got out of the whole thing before it became serious--indeed I am! Now we have had enough of this. (Prepares to go.) Mrs. Riis. As far as your son is concerned--. (Turns to NORDAN.) Doctor, answer me this, so that his father may hear it before he goes. When you refused to go with us to the betrothal party, had you already heard some thing about Alfred Christensen? Was what you had heard of such a nature that you felt you could not trust him? Nordan (after a moment's thought). Not altogether, certainly. Mrs. Riis (to CHRISTENSEN). There, you hear!--But will you let me ask you this, doctor: why did you not say so? Good God, why did you not speak? Nordan. Listen to me, Mrs. Riis. When two young people, who after all are suited to one another--for they are that, are they not? Christensen. They are that, I admit. Nordan. When all of a sudden they fall madly in love with one another, what are you to do? Christensen. Oh, rake up all sorts of stories and exaggerations--create a scandal! Nordan. Indeed, I must confess--what as a matter of fact I have said--that I have become accustomed to things not being exactly as they should be in that respect. I looked upon these young people's engagement in the same light as I have looked on others--on most others--that is cruel to say, as a lottery. It might turn out well; on the other hand it might turn out very badly. Mrs. Riis. And you were willing to risk my daughter, whom you are so fond of--for I know you are fond of her--in a lottery? Could one possibly have a clearer proof of the real state of things? Nordan. Yes, certainly! You yourself, Mrs. Riis--what did you do? Mrs. Riis. I--? Christensen. Bravo! Nordan. You knew what Hoff had said--and more too. (CHRISTENSEN laughs quietly.) Nevertheless you helped your husband, if not actually to try and get her to overlook it, at all events to smooth things over. Christensen. Bravo! Nordan. And you called in my help to induce her to take time to think it over. Christensen. Mothers observe a considerable difference between theory and practice in these matters, I notice. Nordan. It was only when I saw how deeply it affected Svava--what a horror she had of it--that my eyes were opened. And the longer I listened to her, the more sympathy I felt for her; for I was young myself once--and loved. But that was such a long time ago--and I have grown tired-- Mrs. Riis (who has sat down at the little table). My God! Nordan. Yes, Mrs. Riis. Let me tell you candidly--it is the mothers, and no one else, that by degrees have made me callous. Mothers look upon the whole thing so callously. The fact is that as a rule they know what is what. Christensen. That they do, the dear creatures! And Mrs. Riis is no exception to the rule. You must admit, my dear madam, that you did all you could to hold on to a young man who had had a lively past? Not to mention the fact that this same young man had an extremely good social position--a thing I only allude to incidentally. Nordan. Exactly. Rather than not give their daughters a prospect of what they call "a good marriage" they straightway forget all that they have suffered themselves. Mrs. Riis. You see, we do not know that it will turn out the same in their case. Nordan. You don't know it? Mrs. Riis. No, I tell you that I did not think so! We believe that the man our daughter is going to marry is so much better. We believe that in their case there are stronger guarantees--that the circumstances are altogether different. It is so! It is a kind of illusion that takes hold of us. Christensen. When there is a prospect of a good marriage, yes! I entirely agree with you, Mrs. Riis--for the first time. Moreover, I think there is another side to it. Isn't it possible that women have not suffered so much after all from the fact that men are men? What? I fancy the suffering has been more acute than serious--something like sea-sickness; when it is over--well, it is over. And so when it is the daughters' turn to go on board, the dear mothers think: "Oh, they will be able to get over it too! Only let us get them off!" For they are so anxious to get them off, that is the truth! Mrs. Riis (getting up and coming forward). Well, if it is so, surely it is nothing to make fun of! It only shows what a woman can sink to, from living with a man. Christensen Indeed! Mrs. Riis. Yes--because each generation of women is endowed with a stronger and stronger aspiration for a pure life. It results unconsciously from the maternal instinct, and is intended as a protection for the defenceless. Even worthless mothers feel that. But if they succumb in spite of it, and each generation of married women in its turn sinks as deep as you say, the reason of it can only be the privilege that men enjoy as part of their education. Christensen. What privilege? Mrs. Riis. That of living as they please when they are bachelors, and then having their word of honour believed in when they choose to enter the married state. As long as women are powerless to put an end to that horrible privilege or to make themselves independent of it, so long will one half of the world continue to be sacrificed on account of the other half--on account of the other half's lack of self-control. That one privilege turns out to be more powerful than all the striving for liberty in the world. And that is not a laughing matter. Christensen. You are picturing to yourself a different world from this, and different natures from ours, Mrs. Riis. And that--if you will excuse my saying so--is obviously all the answer that is necessary to what you say. Mrs. Riis. Well, then, give that answer openly! Why do you not openly acknowledge that as your standpoint? Christensen. But don't we? Mrs. Riis. No--not here, at all events. On the contrary, you range yourselves ostensibly under our banner, while all the time you are secretly betraying it. Why have you not the courage to unfurl your own? Let these bachelor customs of yours be sanctioned as entirely suitable--then we should be able to join issue with you. And then every innocent bride would be able to know what it is she is entering upon--and in what capacity. Nordan. That would be simply nothing more or less than abolishing marriage. Mrs. Riis. Would not that be more honest, too? Because now it is only being corrupted, long before it begins. Christensen. Oh, of course it is all the men's fault! It is the fashion to say that now--it is part of the "struggle for freedom." Down with man's authority, of course! Mrs. Riis. The authority his bachelor life has won for him! Nordan. Ha, ha! Mrs. Riis. Do not let us cover up the real issue with phrases! Let us rather speak of the "desolate hearth" that the poet writes of. Marriage laid in ruins is what he means by that; and what is the cause of it? What is the cause of the chilly, horrible commonplace of every-day life--sensual, idle, brutish? I could paint it even more vividly, but I will not. I will refrain, for instance, from bringing up the subject of hereditary disease. Let the question be thrashed out openly! Then perhaps a fire will be kindled--and our consciences stirred! It must become the most momentous question in every home. That is what is needed! Christensen. Our conversation has soared to such heights that it really seems quite an anti-climax for me to say that I must go to a "higher place"!--but you must excuse me all the same. Mrs. Riis. I hope I have not delayed you? Christensen. No, there is plenty of time. I am only longing fervently--you really must not be offended--to get away from here. Mrs. Riis. To your--equals? Christensen. What a remarkable thing that you should remind me of them! And, by the way, that reminds me that I am scarcely likely to meet you or your family in future. Mrs. Riis. No. Our acquaintance with you is at an end. Christensen. Thank God for that!--All I hope now is that I shall succeed in apportioning the ridicule with some degree of justice. Mrs. Riis. You need only publish your autobiography! Christensen. No--I think it should rather be your family principles, madam! They are really very quaint. And when I relate the manner in which they are put into practice by yourselves, I rather think that people will be quite sufficiently amused. To speak seriously for a moment--I mean to attack your husband's reputation in private and in public, until he quits the town. I am not the sort of man to accept a humiliation like this without returning the compliment. (Turns to go.) Nordan. This is shocking! Alfred (appearing in the doorway of the house). Father! Christensen. You here?--How ill you look, my boy! Where have you been? Alfred. I came here at the same time as you did, and have heard everything. Let me tell you this at once, that if you take another step against the Riis's, I shall go round and tell every one the reason why Miss Riis threw me over. I shall tell them exactly what it was. Oh, it is no use looking at me with that mocking expression! I shall do it--and at once, too. Christensen. I think you may spare yourself the trouble. The gossip about a broken engagement will get all over the town quicker than you could spread it. Nordan (going up to ALFRED). One word, my boy--do you still love her? Alfred. Do you ask that because she has been unjust to me? Well, now I know quite well what led to it--and inevitably led to it. I understand now! Christensen. And forgive her? Without anything more? Alfred. I love her more than ever--whatever she thinks of me! Christensen. Well, upon my word! What next, I should like to know? You claim your right to resume the role of lover, and leave us and other honest folk to put the best face we can on the muddle you have made! I suppose you are going across the road now to tell her how much you enjoyed yourself yesterday?--or to ask for a respite till to-morrow, to give you time to pass decently through a process of purification? May I ask where you are going to find it and what it is going to consist of? Oh, don't look so melodramatic! If you can put up with what you got from Riis's girl yesterday and her mother to-day, surely you can put up with a little angry talk or a little chaff from your father. I have had to put up with the whole affair--the betrothal and the breaking it off as well! And then to be sprinkled with essence of morality into the bargain! Good Lord! I hope at least I shall not smell of it still when I get to the palace. (Goes towards the house, but turns back at the door.) You will find same money in the office to pay for a trip abroad. (Exit.) Nordan. Does that mean banishment? Alfred. Of course it does. (Appears very much agitated.) Mrs. Riis. Doctor, you must come over to our house with me--and at once! Nordan. How is she? Mrs. Riis. I don't know. Nordan. You don't know? Mrs. Riis. She wanted to be alone yesterday. And to-day she went out early. Nordan. Has anything happened, then? Mrs. Riis. Yes. You told me yesterday that you had given her a hint about--her father. Nordan. Well? Mrs. Riis. And so I felt that it could not be concealed any longer. Nordan. And you have--? Mrs. Riis. I have written to her. Nordan. Written? Mrs. Riis. It seemed the easiest way--and we should escape talking about it. All yesterday afternoon and last night I was writing, and tearing it up, and writing again--writing--writing! It was not a long letter, when all was done, but it took it out of me. Nordan. And has she had the letter? Mrs. Riis. When she had had her breakfast this morning and gone out, I sent it after her. And now, my dear friend, I want to beg you to go and have a talk with her--then you can let me know when I may go to her. Because I am frightened! (Hides her face in her hands.) Nordan. The moment you came I saw something serious had happened. You argued so vehemently, too. Well, matters have developed, and no mistake! Mrs. Riis. You mustn't go away, doctor! Don't go away from her now! Nordan. Oh, that is it, is it?--Thomas! [Enter THOMAS.] Thomas. Yes, sir. Nordan. You need not pack my things. Thomas. Not pack, sir?--Very good, sir. (Gives the doctor his stick and goes to open the house door for them.) Nordan. Allow me, Mrs. Riis. (Offers her his arm.) Alfred (coming forward). Mrs. Riis! May I speak to her? Mrs. Riis. Speak to her? No, that is impossible. Nordan. You heard, my boy, what she has to think about to-day. Mrs. Riis. And if she would not speak to you before, it is not likely she will now. Alfred. If she should ask to speak to me, will you tell her I am here? I shall stay here till she does. Mrs. Riis. But what is the use of that? Alfred. Well, that will be our affair. I know she wants to speak to me, just as much as I do to her. Only tell her I am here! That is all I ask. (Goes away into the farther part of the garden.) Nordan. He does not know what he is talking about. Mrs. Riis. Dear Dr. Nordan, let us go! I am so frightened. Nordan. Not more than I am, I think.--So she knows it now, does she! (They go out.) SCENE II (SCENE.--The same as in Acts I. and II. SVAVA comes into the room slowly and looks round; then goes to the door and looks round outside the house, then comes in again. As she turns back, she sees NORDAN standing in the doorway.) Svava. You!--Oh, Uncle Nordan! (Sobs.) Nordan. My child! My dear child! Calm yourself! Svava. But haven't you seen mother? She said she had gone across to see you. Nordan. Yes, she is coming directly. But look here--suppose you and I go for a good long walk together, instead of talking to your mother or anyone? Along quiet walk? Eh? Svava. I can't. Nordan. Why? Svava. Because I must make an end of all this. Nordan. What do you mean? Svava (without answering his question). Uncle--? Nordan. Yes? Svava. Does Alfred know this?--Did he know it before? Nordan. Yes. Svava. Of course every one knew it except me. Oh, how I wish I could hide myself away from every one! I will, too. I see the real state of things now for the first time. I have been like a child trying to push a mountain away with its two hands--and they have all been standing round, laughing at me, of course. But let me speak to Alfred! Nordan. To Alfred? Svava. I behaved so wrongly yesterday. I ought never to have gone into the room--but you gave me no choice when you came to me. I went with you almost unconsciously. Nordan. I suppose it was thinking of your father--of what I told you about him--that made you-- Svava. I did not understand all at once. But, when I was by myself, it all flashed across me--mother's strange uneasiness--father's threats about leaving the country--all sorts of expressions, and signs--lots and lots of things I had never understood and never even thought twice about! I chased them out of my mind, but back they came!--back and back again! It seemed to paralyse me. And when you took me by the arm and said: "Now you must go in!"--I hardly had strength to think. Everything seemed to be going round and round. Nordan. Yes, I made a regular mess of it--both on that occasion and the time before. Svava. No, it was all quite right--quite right! We certainly went a little off the lines, it is true. I must speak to Alfred; the matter must not rest as it is. But, except for that, it was all quite right. And now I have got to make an end of it all. Nordan. What do you mean? Svava. Where is mother? Nordan. My dear girl, you ought not to try and do anything to-day. I should advise you not to speak to anybody. If you do--well, I don't know what may happen. Svava. But I know.--Oh, it is no use talking to me like that! You think I am simply a bundle of nerves to-day. And it is quite true--I am. But if you try to thwart me it will only make me worse. Nordan. I am not trying to thwart you at all. I only-- Svava. Yes, yes, I know.--Where is mother, then? And you must bring Alfred here. I cannot go to him, can I? Or do you think he has too much pride to come, after what happened yesterday? Oh, no, he is not like that! Tell him he must not be proud with one who is so humiliated. (Bursts into tears.) Nordan. But do you think you are able for it? Svava. You don't know how much I can stand! Anyway, I must get done with it all, quickly. It has lasted long enough. Nordan. Then shall I ask your mother--? Svava. Yes!--and will you ask Alfred? Nordan. Presently, yes. And if you should-- Svava. No, there is no "if" about it! Nordan.--if you should want me, I won't go away till you are "done with it all," as you say. (SVAVA goes up to him and embraces him. He goes out. After a short pause MRS. RIIS comes in.) Mrs. Riis (going to SVAVA). My child! (Stops.) Svava. No, mother, I cannot come near you. Besides, I am trembling all over. And you don't understand what it is? It has not dawned upon you that you cannot treat me like this? Mrs. Riis. Treat you like this, Svava? What do you mean? Svava. Good heavens, mother!--letting me live here day after day, year after year, without letting me know what I was living with? Allowing me to preach the strictest principles, from a house like ours? What will people say of us, now that everything will be known! Mrs. Riis. Surely you would not have wished me to tell my child that-- Svava. Not while I was a child. But when I had grown up, yes--under any circumstances! I ought to have been allowed the choice whether I would live at home under such conditions or not! I ought to have been allowed to know what every one else knew--or what they may get to know at any moment. Mrs. Riis. I have never looked at it in that light. Svava. Never looked at it in that light? Mother! Mrs. Riis. Never!--To shield you and have peace in our home while you were a child, and peace afterwards in your studies, your interests and your pleasures--for you are not like other girls, you know, Svava--to ensure this, I have been almost incredibly careful that no hint of this should come to your ears. I believed that to be my duty. You have no conception what I have stooped to--for your sake, my child. Svava. But you had no right to do it, mother! Mrs. Riis. No right?-- Svava. No! To degrade yourself for my sake was to degrade me too. Mrs. Riis (with emotion). Oh, my God--! Svava. I do not reproach you for anything, mother! I would not do that for the world--my dear mother! I am only so infinitely distressed and appalled at the thought of your having to go about carrying such a secret with you! Never able to be your real self with me for a moment! Always hiding something! And to have to listen to my praises of what so little deserved praise--to see me putting my faith in him, caressing him--oh, mother, mother! Mrs. Riis. Yes, dear, I felt that myself--many and many a time. But I felt that I dared not tell you. It was wrong--so very wrong! I understand that now! But would you have had me leave him at once, as soon as I knew of it myself? Svava. I cannot take upon myself to say. You decided that for yourself. Each one must decide that for herself--according to the measure of her love and her strength. But when the thing went on after I was grown up--! Naturally that was why I made a second mistake. I had been brought up to make mistakes, you see. (RIIS is heard outside the window, humming a tune.) Mrs. Riis. Good heavens, there he is! (RIIS is seen passing the left-hand window. When he reaches the door, however, he stops and, with the words, "Oh, by the bye!" turns back and goes hurriedly out.) Mrs. Riis. You look quite changed, my child! Svava, you frighten me! Surely you are not going to--? Svava. What is it that is in your mind, mother? Mrs. Riis. The thought that, as I have endured so much for your sake, you might make up your mind to endure a little for mine. Svava. A little of this? No, not for a moment! Mrs. Riis. But what are you going to do? Svava. Go away from here at once, of course. Mrs. Riis (with a cry). Then I shall go with you! Svava. You? Away from father? Mrs. Riis. It has been for your sake that I have stayed with him. I won't stay here a day without you!--Ah, you don't want me with you! Svava. Mother, dear--I must have time to accustom myself to the changed state of things. You have quite changed in my eyes too, you see. I have been mistaken in you, and I must get accustomed to that idea. I must be alone!--Oh, don't look so unhappy, dear! Mrs. Riis. And this is the end of it all--this is the end of it! Svava. I cannot act otherwise, dear. I must go away now to my Kindergartens and give up my life entirely to that work. I must, I must! If I cannot be alone there, I must go farther afield. Mrs. Riis. This is the cruellest part of it all--the cruellest part! Listen, is that--? Yes, it is he. Do not say anything now! For my sake say nothing now; I cannot bear anything more on the top of this!--Try to be friendly to him! Svava--do you hear me! (RIIS comes back, still humming a tune; this time he has his overcoat over his arm. SVAVA comes hurriedly forward, and after a moment's hesitation sits down with her back half turned to him, and tries to busy herself with something. RIIS puts down his overcoat. He is in court dress and wears the Order of St. Olaf.) Riis. Good morning, ladies! Good morning! Mrs. Riis. Good morning! Riis. Here is the latest great piece of news for you: Who do you think drove me from the palace? Christensen! Mrs. Riis. Really? Riis. Yes! Our wrathful friend of yesterday! Yes! He and one of my fellow-directors. I was one of the first persons he greeted when he got to the palace. He introduced me to people, chatted with me--paid me the most marked attention! Mrs. Riis. You don't mean it? Riis. Consequently nothing really happened here yesterday! No gloves were thrown about at all, least of all in his eldest son's face! Christensen, the worthy knight of to-day's making, feels the necessity for peace! We ended by drinking a bottle of champagne at my brother's. Mrs. Riis. How amusing! Riis. Therefore, ladies--smiles, if you please! Nothing has happened here, absolutely nothing! We begin again with an absolutely clean slate, without a smear upon it! Mrs. Riis. What a piece of luck! Riis. Yes, isn't it! That rather violent outburst of our daughter's has unburdened her mind and cleared the ideas in other people's heads. The general atmosphere is agreeably clear, not to say favourable. Mrs. Riis. And what was it like at the palace? Riis. Well, I can tell you this--when I looked round at our batch of new-fledged knights, it did not exactly impress me that it is virtue that is rewarded in this world of ours. However, we were all confronted with an alarmingly solemn document. It was about something we swore to preserve--I fancy it was the State--or perhaps the Church--I am really not sure, because I didn't read it. They all signed it! Mrs. Riis. You, as well? Riis. I, as well. Do you suppose I was going to be left out of such good company? Up at those exalted heights one obtains a happier and freer outlook upon life. We were all friends up there. People came up and congratulated me--and after a bit I wasn't sure whether it was on my daughter's account or on my own; and, what is more, I never knew I had so many friends in the town, let alone at Court! But in such brilliant company and such an atmosphere of praises and compliments and general amiability, one was not inclined to be particular! And there were only men present! You know--you ladies must excuse me--there is sometimes a peculiar charm in being only with men, especially on great occasions like that. Conversation becomes more pointed, more actual, more robust--and laughter more full of zest. Men seem to understand one another almost without the need of words. Mrs. Riis. I suppose you are feeling very happy to-day, then? Riis. I should think I am!--and I only wish every one were the same! I daresay life might be better than it is; but, as I saw it under those circumstances from those exalted heights, it might also be much worse. And, as for us men--oh, well, we have our faults, no doubt, but we are very good company for all that. It would be a dull world without us, I am sure. Let us take life as it comes, my dear Svava! (Comes nearer to her. She gets up.) What is the matter? Are you still in a bad temper?--when you have had the pleasure of boxing his ears with your own gloves, before the whole family circle? What more can you reasonably ask of life? I should say you ought to have a good laugh over it!--Or is there something up? What? Come, what is the matter now? Mrs. Riis. The fact is-- Riis. Well, the fact is--? Mrs. Riis. The fact is that Alfred will be here in a moment. Riis. Alfred here? In a moment? Hurrah! I quite understand! But why didn't you tell me so at once? Mrs. Riis. You have talked the whole time since you came in. Riis. I do believe I have!--Well, if you are going to take it seriously, my dear Svava, perhaps you will allow your "knightly" father to take it lightly? The whole thing amuses me so tremendously. I was put into good spirits to-day the moment I saw, from Christensen's face, that there was nothing in the wind. And so Alfred is coming here directly! Then I understand everything. Hurrah, once more! I assure you that is the best of all the good things that have happened to-day. I really think I must play a festal overture till he comes! (Goes towards the piano, singing.) Mrs. Riis. No, no, dear! Do you hear? No, no! (RIIS plays on, without listening to hey, till she goes up to him, and stops him, pointing to SVAVA.) Svava. Oh, let him play, mother--let him play! It is the innocent gaiety that I have admired since I was a child! (Bursts into tears, but collects herself.) How hateful! How horrible! Riis. My dear child, you look as if you wanted to be throwing down gauntlets to-day too! Isn't that all done with? Svava. No, indeed it is not! Riis. You shall have the loan of my gloves, if you haven't-- Mrs. Riis. Oh, don't say those things to her! Svava. Oh, yes, let him! Let him mock at us, mother dear! A man of his moral earnestness has the right to mock at us! Riis. What are you talking about? Does it show a lack of moral earnestness not to be in love with old maids and sour-faced virtue? Svava. Father, you are-- Mrs. Riis. No, Svava! Riis. Oh, let her say what she wants! It is something quite new to see a well-brought-up girl throw her gloves in her fiance's face and accusations in her father's! Especially when it is all done in the name of morality! Svava. Don't talk about morality! Or go and talk to Mrs. North about it! Riis. Mrs.--Mrs.--? What has she to do with--? Svava. Be quiet! I know everything! You have-- Mrs. Riis. Svava! Svava. Ah, yes-for mother's sake I won't go on. But, when I threw down my much discussed gauntlet yesterday, I knew about it then. That was why I did it! It was a protest against everything of the kind, against its beginning and its continuation, against him and against you! I understood--then--your pious zeal in the matter, and the show of scandalised morality you allowed mother to be a witness of! Mrs. Riis. Svava! Svava. I understand now, for the first time, what your consideration, your politeness to mother--which I have so often admired--all meant! Your fun, your good temper, your care of your appearance!--Oh, I never can believe in anything any more! It is horrible, horrible! Mrs. Riis. Svava, dear! Svava. All life seems to have become unclean for me! My nearest and dearest all soiled and smirched! That is why, ever since yesterday, I have had the feeling of being an outcast; and that is what I am--an outcast from all that I prized and reverenced--and that without my having done the slightest thing to deserve it. Even so, it is not the pain of it that I feel most deeply; it is the humiliation, the shame. All that I have so often said must seem now to be nothing but empty words--all that I have done myself must seem of no account--and this without its being my fault! For it is your fault! I thought, too, that I knew something about life; but there was more for me to learn! I see that you wanted me to give way to such an extent that I should end by acquiescing in it. I understand now, for the first time, what your teaching meant--and the things that you invoked mother and heaven to witness. But it is of no use! I can tell you that it is about as much as one can stand, to have the thoughts I have had yesterday--last night--to-day. However, it is once and for all; after this, nothing can ever take me by surprise again. To think that any man could have the heart to let his child have such an experience! Mrs. Riis. Svava--look at your father! Svava. Yes--but if you think what I am saying now is hard, remember what I said to you before I knew this--no longer ago than yesterday morning. That will give you some idea of how I believed in you, father--and some idea of what I am feeling now! Oh--! Riis. Svava! Svava. You have ruined my home for me! Almost every other hour in it has been corrupted--and I cannot face a future like that. Riis and Mrs. Riis (together). But, Svava--! Svava. No, I cannot! My faith in you is destroyed--so that I can never think of this as a home again. It makes me feel as if I were merely living with you as a lodger--from yesterday onwards, merely a lodger in the house. Riis. Don't say that! My child! Svava. Yes, I am your child. It only needed you to say it like that, for me to feel it deeply. To think of all the experiences we two have had together--all the happy times we have had on our travels, in our amusements--and then to think that I can never look back on them again, never take them up again! That is why I cannot stay here. Riis. You cannot stay here! Svava. It would remind me of everything too painfully. I should see everything in a distorted light. Mrs. Riis. But you will see that you cannot bear to go away, either! Riis. But--I can go! Mrs Riis. You? Riis. Yes, and your mother and you stay here?--Oh, Svava--! Svava. No, I cannot accept that--come what may! Riis. Do not say any more! Svava, I entreat you! Do not make me too utterly miserable! Remember that never, until to-day--I never thought to make you--. If you cannot bear to be with me any more--if you cannot--then let me go away! It is I that am to blame, I know. Listen, Svava! It must be I, not you! You must stay here! Mrs. Riis (listening). Good heavens, there is Alfred! Riis. Alfred! (A pause. ALFRED appears in the doorway.) Alfred (after a moment). Perhaps I had better go away again? Riis (to ALFRED). Go away again?--Go away again, did you say?--No, not on any account! No!--No, you could not have come at a more fortunate moment! My boy, my dear boy! Thank you! Mrs. Riis (to SVAVA). Would you rather be alone--? Svava. No, no, no! Riis. You want to speak to Svava, don't you? I think it will be best for me to leave you together. You need to talk things over frankly with her--to be alone--naturally! You will excuse me, then, if I leave you, won't you? I have something very important to do in town, so you will excuse me! I must hurry and change my clothes--so please excuse me! (Goes into his room.) Alfred. Oh, but I can come some other time. Mrs. Riis. But I expect you would like to talk to her now? Alfred. It is no question of what I would like. I see--and I heard Dr. Nordan say--that Miss Riis is quite worn out. But I felt it my duty, all the same, to call. Svava. And I thank you for doing so! It is more--far more--than I have deserved. But I want to tell you at once that what happened yesterday--I mean, the form my behaviour took yesterday--was due to the fact that, only an hour before then, something had come to my knowledge that I had never known before. And that was mixed up with it. (She can scarcely conceal her emotion.) Alfred. I knew that to-day you would be regretting what happened yesterday--you are so good. And that was my only hope of seeing you again. Riis (coming out of his room partly dressed to go out). Does any one want anything done in town? If so, I shall be happy to see to it! It has occurred to me that perhaps these ladies would like to go away for a little trip somewhere--what do you two say to that? When one's thoughts are beginning to get a little--what shall I call it?--a little too much for one, or perhaps I should rather say a trifle too serious, it is often a wonderful diversion to go away for a little change. I have often found it so myself--often, I assure you! Just think it over, won't you? I could see about making plans for you at once, if you think so--eh? Well, then, good-bye for the present! And--think it over! I think myself it is such an excellent plan! (Goes out. SVAVA looks at her mother with a smile, and hides her face in her hands.) Mrs. Riis. I must go away for a few minutes and-- Svava. Mother! Mrs. Riis. I really must, dear! I must collect my thoughts. This has been too much for me. I shall not go farther away than into my room there (pointing to the room on the left). And I will come back directly. (SVAVA throws herself into a chair by the table, overcome by her emotion.) Alfred. It looks as if we two were to have to settle this matter, after all. Svava. Yes. Alfred. I daresay that you will understand that since yesterday I have done nothing else but invent speeches to make to you--but now I do not feel as if it had been of much use. Svava. It was good of you to come. Alfred. But you must let me make one request of you, and that from my heart: Wait for me! Because I know now what will show me the way to your heart. We had planned out our life together, you and I; and, although I shall do it alone, I shall carry out our plans unfalteringly. And then perhaps, some day, when you see how faithful I have been--. I know I ought not to worry you, least of all to-day. But give me an answer! You need scarcely say anything--but just give me an answer! Svava. But what for? Alfred. I must have it to live on--and the more difficult the prize is to attain, the better worth living will life be to me. Give me an answer! Svava (tries to speak, but bursts into tears). Ah, you see how everything upsets me to-day. I cannot. Besides, what do you want me to do? To wait? What would that mean? It would mean being ready and yet not ready; trying to forget and yet always having it before my mind. (Is overcome again by her emotion.) No! Alfred. I see you need to be alone. But I cannot bring myself to go away. (SVAVA gets up, and tries to regain control over herself. ALFRED goes to her and throws himself on his knees beside her.) Give me just one word. Svava. But do you not understand that if you could give me back once more the happiness that complete trust gives--do you think I should wait for you to ask anything of me then? No, I should go to you and thank you on my knees. Can you doubt that for a moment? Alfred. No, no! Svava. But I have not got it. Alfred. Svava! Svava. Oh, please--! Alfred. Good-bye--good-bye! But I shall see you again some day? I shall see you again? (Turns to go, but stops at the door.) I must have a sign--something definite to take with me! Stretch out a hand to me! (At these words SVAVA turns to him and stretches out both her hands to him. He goes out. MRS. RIIS comes in from her room.) Mrs. Riis. Did you promise him anything? Svava. I think so. (Throws herself into her mother's arms.) Publication Date: September 1st 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-bx.bjornson

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-danae-he-039-s-mine/

DANAE HE'S MINE his looks EVERY THING ABOUUT HIM I FELL FOR HIS GERY EYES HIS BLACK HAIR HIS TOUCH.I KNEW I WANTED HIM AND I HAD TO GET HIM FROM THE START.MY NAME IS DANAE AND IM 17 TEEN YEARS OLD I WAS HEADIND TO MY ENGLISH CLASS WHEN I SAW HIM LOOK AT ME HIS NAME WAS XAVIER AND EVERY GIRL IN THE CLASS WANT HIM.ITS MONDAY AN WE JUST CAME BACK TO SCHOOL FROM BREAK XAVIER JUST STARTED TAKING THE ENGLISH CLAS IM IN.BUT ANTWAYS I WENT AND SAT DOWN IN MY SEAT I GOT OUT MY PAPER AND PENCIL WHEN HE CAME AND SAT BESIDE ME I TRIED NOT NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT I JUS COULD'NT HELP MYSELY.BUT I HAVE TO SAY I GOT A BODY TO DIE FOR EVEN MY SMILE MY LIPS MY AND MOST OF THE THINGS THAT MATTERED I WAS NOT POPULAR ONLY CAUSE I DID NOT WANT TO BE BUT LETS GET BACK INTO THE STORY I TRIED TO HELP MYSELF BUT XAVIER SPOKE FIRST "HEY CUTTIE"SAID XAVIER I GLARED AT IM TRING NOT TO FALL INTO IS EYES I SAID "IT'S A BERTTER WAY U CAN START TALKING TO A WOMAN HE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID "YOUR NOT A WOMAN I GLARED AT HIM AND SAID "THEN WHAT AM I "IN A DUH VOICE HE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID" NOT A WOMAN YET" WE LET THE CONVERSATION GO AND IT WAS GETTING WORSER SO I STOP AN STARTED DOING MY WHILE I FELT A HAND GO UP MY THIGH I STOP DOING MY WORK TO LOOK DOWN AND SO XAVIER HAD ON ME I MOVE HIS HAND AND HE PUT IT BACK I MOVE IT AGAIN AND ADDED STOP HE STOP AND "SAID YOU KNOW YOU LIKE IT" IS I DO BUT WE ARE IN SCHOOL THEN HE PUT HIS PHONE NUMBER ON MY DESK AND TOLD ME TO CALL HIM WHEN WE GET OUT OF SCHOOL THENTHE BELL RANG AND SCHOOL I WENT TO MY CAR GOT IN TURNED IT ON AND LEFT TO GO HOME THE CALL WHEN I GOT HOME I PUT MY STUFF DOWN TO CALL XAVIER HE ANSWERED AND THIS IS HOW THE CONVERSATION WENT ME:HELLO XAVIER:WHAT'S UP CUTTIE ME:STOP TRYING TO BE ALL COOL XAVIER:IM NOT IM JUST THAT WAY ME:WELL I DNT LIKE IT SO XAVIER:SO ME:SO STOP DOING THAT XAVIER:WELL DO REMEMBER IN 10TH GRADE KAYLIE SHAY WAS ONE OF THOSE GIRLS WHO WENT WITH ANY BODY ME:OMG I HATED HER XAVIER:THAT DAY WHEN SHE CAME TO SCHOOL WIT ALL OF THOSE SCARS ON HER SHE WENT OUT WIT SOME BOY SHE JUST MET AND HE BEATED ON HER SHE CALLED ME THAT NIGHT AND TOLD ME EVERYTHING I'LL TELL U IF U COME MEET ME AT THE PARK ME:OK WHY YOU CAN'T ME OVER THE PHONE XAVIER:CAUSE WHEN I TELL YOU YOU WILL NEED SOMEONE TO CALM YOU DOWN...................................SORRY GUYS THIS ALL I CAN TELL YOU FOR NOW the tears I GOT IN MY CAR AND LEFT I PULLED UP AT THE PARK AND SAW XAVIER STANDING BY HIS CAR I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAT DOWN WE STARTED TALKING HE SAID THAT NIGHT SHE CALLED HIM CRYING AND HE ASKED HER WHATS WRONG SHE SAID HE BEAT HER I SAID WHO SHE SAID I CANT TELL YOU I ASKED WHY SHE SAID BECAUSE IT'S I JUST I SAID TELL ME SHE OK OK YOUR BROTHER I WAS SHOCKED AND SAID WHAT WHY YOU WENT OUT WITH HIM BECAUSE SHE SAID TELL ME I SAID THROUGH MY TEETH HE MADE ME HE BEEN RAPEING ME SINCE 6TH GRADE I MAD AND TOLD HER WHY SHE DID NOT CALL AND SHE SAID BECAUSE I DID NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW WELL NOW I DO I SAID SHE STARTED CRYING HARDER AND SAID HE BEAT MY HEAD INTO THE TREE AND TOLD ME TO TAKE OF MY PANTS I DID NOT DO IT SO HE PUNCHED ME IN MY NOSE I TRIED TO HIT BACK BUT HE WAS WAY STONGER THAN ME HE SLAPPED ME AND KEPT HITING MY HEAD AGINST THE TREE I RAN GOT IN MY CAR AND WHENT HOME AND CALLED YOU.......COVERSATION ENDED' HE LOOKED AT ME AND I WAS CRYING HE SAID I THINK YOU NEED TO GET HOME NOW......TURNED AROUND TO SAY BY AND HE KISSED ME I PULLED BACK AND HE GLARED AT ME AND I WENT TO GET IN MY CAR...... Publication Date: January 22nd 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-naenae234

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-diamond-the-3-musketeers/

Diamond The 3 Musketeers Every Friendship Has Their Ups And Downs To My Bestfriends Shania And Jasmine. I Love You Both Ariee____TAMO: Who Wants To Go Somewhere? Ugh! I need something to do! Nobody is answering their phones or commenting on my tweet but perverts! Maybe I should make my profile private. Anyways ,I wonder what my best friends, Jasmine Williams and Shayla Brown, could be doing. Jasmine Williams, a.k.a Jazzy, is short ( about 5ft ) and has a lot of curves. She has no problem turning guys on. She’s also a bold person and will tell you what’s on her mind right then and there without hesitation. Shayla Brown, a.k.a Shaye, is average height and only has little curves. She’s quiet and keeps a lot of things to herself. Me and Jazzy both know when something is wrong and bothering her. I need something to do ASAP! I can’t just sit around and do nothing! That’s just not me! I’m going to see if my little sister Angel, a.k.a Angii, wants to go shopping even though I don’t like going with her. Angii is 2 years younger than me (14) and I’m technically raising her because my parents are never home and my grandmother died of breast cancer when we was little. Angii is a pretty girl but her attitude is ugly. She’s in a stage when she wants everything she see that everybody got and it go to look right on her. When we go shopping she’s either complaining about how the cloths don’t’t fit her the way she wants them to or about how bored she is. I should ask Shaye and Jazzy again before I make plans with Angii. #Team__Jazzy Getting ready 4 a party! Can’t wait!  Ariee keeps calling, texting, and tweeting me. Ariee is one of those people that can’t just sit in one place for a long time. And she can’t stand being bored and she’s impatient. She is a good advice giver but she never takes her own advice like it don’t applies to her. She is into boys a lot more than me and Shaye but I have no problem with that. Although, she sometimes push herself onto boys and doesn’t care how it affects other people. But I guess that’s why o love her. Anyways, it’s not that I’m ignoring her but I’m too busy getting ready for the party. When I’m finish I’ll shoot her a text but right now I got a Date with Jason. Jason us my boyfriend, obviously, we’ve known each other since the 6th grade but didn’t start dating until the 8th grade. We are currently in the 11th grade. He’s tall, muscular, his skin is flawless, he’s light-skinned, he has hazel eyes, and has brown so light its looks badge and it falls into his face a lot. He’s cute, funny, sweet, smart, and knows how to treat a girl in every kind of situation. After 2 hours of getting ready, I’m finally done. I guess I can send Ariee a text now. **Hey Grl. Goin 2 a party with Jason. Tlk 2 u late.. ~~ Oo ! Ookayy ! Hav Fun ! Luv Uu, Dnt Mwahh <3 && Stay Safee. ’Cuz If Something Happen 2 Uu Imma Spazz ! ** Lol, Kayy <3 U 2 Muwahh.! I love Ariee she’s always looking out for me and Shaye. Honk! Honk! Hooonnnkkk! That’s Jason. He’s not aloud to come in our house because my father cought us kissing! My father is so irritating but I still see Jason. As I walk downstairs my father starts to following me asking me a million and one questions! “Where are you going? Who Are you going with? How long do you plan on being out? Do I know this person you going with? Is..” “DAD! Stop talking so I can answer! But if its any of your business I’m going with Jason to a party, yes you know him, and I’m going to stay out until whatever I feel like it.” “No. You need to be back by 12.” “Umm I’m going to repeat myself, I’m going to come back home when in feel like it. Im almost in the 12th grade dad, you can’t hold me down forever! I need to learn how to make my own decisions on my own without an adult there to tell me what to do!” “Young lady! I don’t care what grade your going to! If your not back by 12 I’m locking the door and putting the alarm on.” “Well in that case, Im going to stay with Jason!” “You know I don’t like that boy! Why can’t you be with Shayla or Aaria?” “Because I won’t be able to stay here and Aaria is out of town with her aunt and Shayla got in trouble for failing math!” I lied “And I’m staying out to how long i feel like it!” “Fine! Just make sure you lock-up when you come in! I’ll leave a key under the mat for you to get in.” “Ok! Thank you daddy!” I said with a big smile, gave him a kiss on the cheek and ran out the house. PARTY! Shay3Bug101: Going over daddy’s house!  I love going over my father’s house. My parents separated when I was 10. At first I was devastated. All I did was run away but then I met Jasmine who always made me laugh and helped me forget what was going on but when I met Aaria, she helped me stop running away. They were there for me the whole time. I love them! Anyways, I like me dads house more because it’s big and I have lots of space. Plus his girlfriends are cool. But my mom on the other hand has a small house, but it’s still nice, it’s just her boyfriends look, acts, and smell like anything! I don’t know why she chooses them because she’s not a drunkie or a druggie so he brain is functioning right and she is smart. I get to my father’s house around 7 do to rush hour slowing us down. But I’m just glad I got here. “Hi daddy!” I said greeting my dad “Hey baby girl!” “Where are you going looking nice tonight?” “Do you remember Brianna?” “Yes” “Well were going to the Royal Rocks.” “That’s cool but isn’t that a place for dancing?” “Yeah. Why?” “Because your more of a classy person! Not a dancer! Your going to ebarrase yourself and me! You go out in public displaying me! OMG! I’m going to die!” “Hahahaha! No your not. I’m doing it for Brianna and I should be saying that to you. But I got to go pick up my date! I’ll be home around 11.” “Ok by daddy! Have a good time!” Then he left. My dad really did look nice. He always do. He has an masculan figure, his skin is like a brown caramale type color, He has dark brown eyes, always have a fresh shape up, and he always has the latest outfits and fresh pair of kicks on. I love my daddy. I go to my room to study for my science exam on Monday. But then Aaria text me. ** Hey ! Wyd ? Uu haven’t responded 2 mii tweets or mii kalls ! Too Bored ! S.O.S ! ~~ Lol. Sorry. Ive been busy packing because its my weekend with my dad! Bt I’m studying for the sience exam which is what you should be doing! ** -___- Uu Knoe I Dnt Study ! ~~ And I still don’t see how you manage to pass! ** Hehe  Wanna Go Somewhere And Do Somethin ? ~~ Idk, Im studying soo…. ** Awwwwww C’mon ! ITS Friday 4 GOODNESS SAKEE ! Uu Cn Last A Nitee Without Studying ~~ Fine! Give me all the details and I’ll see what I can do ** Arundle Mills, We’ll Go Shoppin && Go 2 The Movies Wilee Were There So Well Behh About 4 or 5 Hours ~~ ….No comment…. ** Wadd ? ~~ Its already 7! By the time we get back it’ll be around 11! You know I need my beauty sleep and to study! ** Lol Yess Chyls I Knoee Juss Cum Plz ! ~~ Finee ** Luv Yaa ! Cc Uu Inna Few ! ~~ Smh love you too. Looks like I’m going to Arundle Mills. I should let my dad know ** Hey dad! Me and Aara is going to Arundle. We’ll be about 4 or 5 hours so we’ll be getting home around the same time. I don’t ever have to ask to hang out with Ariee or Jazzy because my father knows I’m going to be safe and smart about being out with them. I should set my phone on sound. Boyyyy Ohh Killing Me Softlyy… My phone went off a few minutes after I set my phone on sound. ~~ Ok Baby Girl! Have Fun. Text Me Every Few Hours To Update Me ** Got it Time to get ready Ariee____TAMO: “I’M NOT GOING TO THE MALL WITH ANGII !” I sung as I got ready. Instead, me and Shaye are going. I put on a denim skirt with a green Baby Phat shirt. I put my hair in loose curls and to match my top, I put on my green flats and my silver hoops. I grabbed my Loui purse then I left. When I got there, I immediately saw Shaye. She was the only one who looked like she just got out of bed and don’t want to be here. She had on Apple Bottom jeans that fit her itty bitty curves just enough to see them. She had on a red Apple Bottom shirt with her red tennis shoes to match. Her jewelry was gold and her hair was pulled back into a pony-tale. “Who dressed you? The bed bugs?” I said as I approached her “Well hi to you to!” she said with attitude. “Haha! Sorry but let’s not waste time sitting here talking about your pajamas! Let’s go see a movie!” “Whatever” she said as she rolled her eyes. “Insidious or Friends With Benefits?” I asked “ I wanna see the new Alvin and the Chipmunks when it comes out! I got to see my boyfriend!” “Haha! Girl you a mess! I want to see Insidious and yeah yeah everybody likes Alvin” “Ummm…. No girl! Mt boo is Theodore!” “OMG! He’s MINE! You know what, we’re over!” “Are you breaking up with me?” “Yes!” “How dare you dump me!” then we both burst out laughing once when we realized we were getting a couple of stares. “Let’s get our tickets” and we walked towards the ticket booth. When we got there I froze. There was a cute boy standing there. I almost fell in love when I saw him. And when he said those 5 letter words in his sexy voice made me melted. “How may I help you?” were those 5 letter words. “Umm… Umm… I… I…” I stuttered. “2 tickets for Insidious” Shaye said speaking up. I gave her a “Thank-you” glare “Here you go” The guy said handing her the tickets. “Thanks. You know, I see everybody else except you with a name tag. So what exactly is your name? It’s for umm… News… Broadcast thingy that we’re doing for our school.” I said “Your slick I see.” He said with a chuckle. “But it’s Anthony. By the time your movie is over, my shift should be over” “What are you saying Anthony?” “Let’s hang out… Around the mall” “Sure! As long as my Bestie here says it’s ok. With her” “Cool with me. Just hurry up please!” Shaye said before I can ask her “Ok! It’s a… meet up!” Anthony said “Oh by the way, what’s your name?” “Aaria. But most people call me Ariee.” I said as Shayla pulled towards the theater. “Aaria” I heard him whisper before I was out of ear shot. “He was soo cute!” I said “Yeah I guess. After the movie I’m going home.” Shaye said “Aww! Why?” “Because I’m not about to be the 3rd wheel” “Your not!” “That’s what you always say. Now get me a slushy and some Twizzlers while I go get seats.” “Whatever” “So Anthony, why haven’t I seen you around before?” I asked “Because I just moved here from New York about a month or so ago.” “Oh! So what school do you go to?” “Well I’ve been so busy helping my mom unpack, me nor my mom had time to enroll me in any school but tomorrow my mom said while I’m at work, she’s going to enroll me at Wakes Field High.” “That’s the school I go to! Maybe we can meet outside the office or something and I can show you around! When do you start?” “Monday and ok sounds cool” “One more thing” “Yeah?” “If you’re from New York, then where is your accent?” “I hide it” “Why?” “I don’t know” “Say something in your accent for me please!” “I think you’re really pretty” he said in his sexy accent “Wow” “What?” “Nothing… Let’s go shopping! “Ok” He said with a chuckle “OMG Jazzy! He was such a cutie and a gentleman! He is so sweet!” I said “Wow” Jazzy said “Ask Shaye! Wait… Is she still on the phone? Wasn’t he cute?!” “Yeahh… mmhhmm… sure… whatever” she said with attitude. “Whats you’s problem?” “Nothing. You just interrupted my study for us to go to the movies and shopping for some BFF time with Ariee’s dude on the side which by the way isn’t BFF time. Then you interrupt my study AGAIN for a phone call about Ariee’s boy on the side.” “Awwww c’mon! Why can’t you just be happy that I found my Prince Charming?” “And why can’t you just have a day with me or Jazzy without picking up the Prince Charming that always disappoint you in the end?” she said emphasizing the words Prince Charming “Well she does have a good point Ariee. You do always think about boys when were suppose to just have us time. But then again Shaye, why don’t you let Ariee do what she do? Why can’t you accept she likes boys al little more than you?” Jazzy said jumping into the conversation. “I do accept that. That’s one of the reasons why I love her. But she doesn’t understand that if you interrupt my study for some us time, I expect some us time! You know I take my studying seriously but whatever. Bye.” “Wait do..” Jazzy said before we heard CLICK! “I still don’t get her issue” I said “Ohhh myyy goshh ! ARIEE!” Jazzy yelled “What?!” “Your so full of yourself ! I’ll walk to you later. “Ok? Bye?” I said with a sigh. What did I say wrong? #Team__Jazzy: What just happened? Well that party was off the hook! Now I’m off to bed. #GoodNightTwitter! The party was so fun. They were playing all the hip songs! It was cool. Jason got drunk though and ruined my night. He tried to get me to have sex with him but I didn’t so he got mad at me and started flirting with other girls. Then he tried to put his hands on me. But he didn’t. So I had to get one of his buddies to take me home instead. His name was Tomas and he was a better gentleman than Jason. He gave me his number if I needed help or advice. He warned me that Jason was a cheater. He opened the door for me and walked me to my front door and everything. Tomas told me so much about him in the 20min car ride we had. But he is our of my league. Shayla and Aaria got into it over the phone. I can already see a fight coming. They are complete opposites! Ariee is the wild party girl. Shayla can party too, but she can party as long as she don’t have any studying or homework to do. I honestly think I’m the one who is keeping them together. Without me they would fall apart. I take school seriously just like Shayla but I know how to be a wild party girl like Aaria at the same time. I know each of their point of views but they get into the dumbest fights. It’ll blow over in about a week so I’m not getting into that. When I get home, my dad was surprisingly up. “Hey dad…umm…what are you doing up?” “It’s only 11! The question is what are you doing home so early?” “Oh” I said noticing that I never checked the time “Things got a little out of hand so I left.” “And who was the gentleman who dropped you off? Definitely not Jason.” “Dad! What are you doing spying on me? That was Jason’s friend Tomas.” “Not why can’t Jason be like Tomas? I like Tomas and I haven’t even met the boy. Hmmm… Invite him over to dinner tomorrow would you.” My dad said disappearing up the steps ** Umm… Hey Tommy… Can I call you Tommy? Why did I just ask that? Smh. Well umm… my dad wants to meet you and to come over for dinner tomorrow… so… can you? I wonder what he is going to say. I want him to say yes only because my father will keep bugging me about it. But then again, I hope he says no because every time we touch, it like I feel sparks. I’m not supposed to feel that while I’m dating Jason. Boy you got my heart beat running away… My phone went off. ~~ Umm… it depends on who this is. How can I forget to say my name?! I’m so dumb! ** My bad… it’s Jazzy… Jason’s girl… Almost immediately he texted back. ~~ Alright. What time? ** Mmm… 8 ~~ Aiight. Cc Uu 2Morrow “DAD! HE SAID HE’LL COME AROUND 8!” I yelled up the steps “OK! ASK HIM WHAT WOULD HE LIKE TO EAT!” he yelled back “K!” ** What would you like to eat? ~~ Surprise me ** Mmkayy “DAD HE SAID SURPRISE HIM!” “OK!” I got ready for dinner. I don’t put nothing fancy on. I put on a pair of jeans, a white tank-top and a pink half shirt that says “LOVE” When I got down stairs, my dad was in the kitchen. He had on his wedding tux. I can only think of 2 times when he worn it, the day of his wedding and the first date he been on since mom died. My mom died in a car accident due to a drunk driver. “Umm dad… Why are you dressed like that?” “Why are you dressed like you’re about to go to the club?! Go put on one of you’re dresses! NOW!” my dad yelled. He must really like Tomas. “Fine” I said. I didn’t feel like arguing. ** Dress Fancy I sent Tomas a text ~~ Lol. Ok missy. I put on my strapless dress. The top half is black and the bottom is grey. I put a yellow belt around my waist and accessorized with yellow earrings, bracelets, and a yellow necklace. As I finish eyeballing myself in the mirror, the door bell rang. UUGGHH! I thought to myself. “Wow! You look amazing! I feel like I should be taking you out on a date” Tomas said as I walked down the steps “I don’t see why you can’t!” my dad said “DAD!” “What?! It’s my opinion.” “Nahh it’s cool Jazzy. I mean if you wasn’t going out with Jay… I shouldn’t have said that” “It’s cool” I said with a chuckle. “Let’s eat!” my dad said “And then she peed on me ! I have a baby picture of her right here.” My dad said as he pulled out a photo album. “Ugh! Dad! You’re embarrassing me!” “Naw! It’s cool! I won’t tell noone I promise.” “Speak English Tomas! What is Naw?!” my dad said correcting him “Sorry Sir… Naw is another term for no in our generation.” Tomas replied in a calmed tone. I was impressed. Then he started looking through the pictures. “You had a cute butt!” Tomas then said with a chuckle “Ugh! Excuse me but I’m going to my room.” I said getting up as fast as I could before my father could stop me. “Girl! They have been down there for hours laughing and talking! This whole dinner was messed up the moment my father asked for Tomas to come over.” I complained to Ariee over the phone. “It’s not that bad!” Ariee said laughing “Yes! It is!” “Well is Tomas at least cute?” “Umm… I’m not going to say” “Why?” “Because I got Jason! Duhh!” “So?” “So! I can’t be looking at other boys” “Says who?” “Says me! Plus you got Anthony” “Me and Anthony don’t have anything promised or official. So tell me” “Nopee!” “Jasmine Chernell Williams! Saying of somebody is cute or not is not cheating! Now tell me!” “Ok ok! Yes girl, he is more than cute… he’s FINE ! But he isn’t my type. He warned me the other night though about Jason.” “Well what he say?” “He was like Jay was a cheater and an abuser, but I don’t believe him because Jason hasn’t laid a hand on me yet.” “But didn’t you say he tried to at the party?” “He was DRUNK!” “My mother always told me that drunk people always show their true colors.” “Whatever! I got to go bye!” “No no wa-…” I said hanging up on her. I wonder if Tomas left. As I start to walk down the steps, my phone goes off/ ~~ You were really cute when you were a baby. My lips are sealed. Promise. Nite Jazz. Wow! I didn’t expect that! Should I text back? I minus well. I’m bored. ** Mmkayy thx! But you’re not going to sleep anytime soon are You? ~~ Nahh ** Kayy Kewl ~~ Wat u up 2 ma? ** Nunn , just laying down thinking ~~ Bout… ** Stuff … ~~ Such As… ** People ~~ Named ** Jason, dad, Tomas, Shania, Aaria, that’s it ~~ Wat About Them? ** I’m Not Telling You! ~~ Awww ! C’Mon! ** Fine, Aaria And Shania Are About To Get Into A Fight. My Dad Is Embarrassing. I Wonder What You Said About Jason Is True Because Ariee Made A Good Point. ~~ How Is Ur Dad Embarrasing? ** O C’Mon! You See How He Was Just Showing My Baby Pics Like They Were A Brand New Shiney Car He Just Got Bcuz He Likes You And Thinks I Should Date You Instead Of Jason ~~ Lol Wow. Wat ‘Bout Shania And Aaria? ** They Got Into A fight Over The Phone .Cuz Ariee Made Shaye Stop Studying To Go Shopping But Blew Her Off For A Boy ~~ That’s Messed Up ** Yeahh ~~ Wat ‘Bout Jay? ** Well I Don’t Belive He Will Cheat On Me Or Will Put His Hands On Me But At The Party He Tried To But He Was Drunk! Ariee Said When You’re Drunk You Show You’re True Colors ~~ && She’s Right && You Know It ** Mayb ~~ U Mentioned A Guy Named Tomas But You Never Sed What ** I’m Not Saying ~~ Yeah But I Know What Your Thinking! ** How Did You Know That I Was Thinking Dat You’re Cute But You’re Not My Type? ~~ Lol! I Didn’t Know Until Now! ** Grr! ~~ Lol ** Wyy Am I Telling You These Things ? ~~ Because You Trust Me ** Oh Well, Im Sleepy. Nitee Tommy! ~~ Nite Jazz. That’s when Shaye sent me a text. I’ll go to sleep once we finish talking. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This Story Is Not Yet Finished But I Need Some Ideas So If You Would Lykk To Help Meh Then Write Comments And If They Are Good I'll Use It Somewhere In My Story THANKS! Publication Date: November 18th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-tayykayyn

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-margaret-faulkner-the-girl-who-could-talk-to-the-wind/

Margaret Faulkner The Girl Who Could Talk To the Wind Chapter 1   I stared at the window and watched the storm clouds roar. Rory`s chain was lose, and I was eager to go ouside and tighten it. The front yard was filled mud puddles and foot prints. I opened the door and called out to Rory. He ran inside and began to shake the water of his fur. We sat on the couch. My warm red, sweater and his warm fur made me cozy. Soon I began to think of the next day, we were moving. I didn`t want to leave my friends at Salsford Elementary. I looked towards the clock it was 9:45 P.M . Soon the dreaded day would come. I hugged Rory.   " Don`t worry Rory, it`ll be fine." After a while I went to bed. I couldn`t sleep well, all I could do was think about how every one at my new school would not want to talk to me. I thought until my eyes finally closed.   Soon I found myself in a dream. My Father, was twirling me around in a golden ball gown. I danced with my father with a grin on my face. Once he stopped I saw a man hiding a gun in his suit. I walked off the ballroom floor and followed the man. Once he spotted me he darted away. Another man saw him and started pointing and screaming at him. I knew what was going to happen next.   " Dad let`s go I want to go home."   "Not right now, that man need`s help! It looks like he has a gun!"   My father began to run to the man. I got scared and began to bite my nails. I`ve always hated this dream, or should I say nightmare. So I decided to change his fate. I grabbed my fathers jacket and began screaming.   " No dad don`t go you`ll get hurt!"   " Let go Emily!"   He raced off to the man. And at that moment the gun was pulled out. The man and the gunman started to fight over the gun. And after that the gunshots.... Then after that my father fell to the floor. The blood poured onto the ballroom floor. I screamed out as my father put his hand to his stomach. The gunman ran out of the ballroom leaving everyone in shock. A crowd of people rushed over to my father. I ran to him.   " Dad it`s going to be ok," I said as I put my hand on his stomach.    " Don`t worry I love..."   Were the last things he said. Every thing started spinning around. The people were a blur. Finally I past out. Chapter 2   I woke up at 7:05 A.M., wiping my eyes.    "Have a bad dream honey," my mother said.   " I had it again, the one with the ballroom and gunman."   My mothers face turned pale, she knows I always have this dream. She once had to take me to a psychiatrist to talk about it.   " Honey, I love you, but it`s a new day, it`s time to move on."   I looked at her with tears in my eyes.   " I miss him to," she said trying to hold back the tears.   " Now hurry up and get dressed up, we have to pack."   I wiped my eyes and got up. I couldn`t stop thinking about the dream, or the day. Yes, that did happen. We were at a Formal Ball, my mother couldn`t make it so my father took me. I was 11, the same age I am now. It was about a month ago when he died. My mother was so enraged she told us we were moving. Out of this long wait I thought it was a lie, but I was wrong. It`s hard to fully remember what had happened, in my dream I know remember every moment, but in life all I remember is that I was at the hospital. With all my might I try to forget about every thing. I got dressed and started packing   The car drive was rough and slow. It seemed like it was 7:00 P.M. when we finally got to the new house. The house was large, I couldn`t wait to get my room. I hoped it was large. After a while of unpacking, I finally hade enough time to explore the house. The dinning was as big as a department store. The living room was twice as large as the dinning room. The entire house was like a palace! I just wanted to stay up all night and never let this day end. At 10:37 P.M. my mom finally said it`s time to go to bed. I went up to my new room.   "Rory," I called he ran up to my room.   Rory is a big dog, an English Massive. He also has black hair, similar to mine but I have brown hair. I remember the first day I brought him home. It took me a while to name him, I was going to name him Brownie. But my father kept on telling me his fur is black. Finally I came up with a name...Rory. Named after my father, Rory always reminds me of my father. "Rory Rasper," I said happily.   "Good night, buddy, love you."   I woke up, to my mom carrying a uniform dress. I sighed and rolled my eyes. My mom helped me get dressed for school. I went down stairs, and ate a bagel with cream cheese.   " Ready to go Emily," I forced a smile onto my face.   We got into the car. I thought about how the kids at the school would treat me. The thought buzzed around my mind, waiting for an answer. I tried to imagine the school as if it were Salsford, but that was going to be hard because I don`t know what the school looks like. We finally got to Rock Wood Elementary. The school was large, but by the looks of it, it must be a snotty rich kids school. I got of the car and said bye to my mom, then walked into the front door of the school.   My classroom number was 302. I looked at all the people cluttering the hallway. The boys and girls didn`t look as rich and snotty as I thought they would, but they did indeed look mean. I started to walk faster until I bumped into a girl. She had blonde glossy hair and looked four times better looking then me.   "Hey, watch where you going, kid!"   She stood up and wiped her dress as if I had an disgusting stain or slime. She pinched her nose and tilted her head back, then walked away. My elbow hurt from the collision with the blonde haired girl, I rubbed it and kept on walking. Trying my best not to be noticed. Chapter 3   " Oh, welcome are you our new student," the teacher said to me.   I nodded with a grin on my face.   "Hmm, how about you sit over by Addison," she pointed to a empty desk.   I was surprised to see that Addison was the blonde girl I bumped into. I had thought she was an 8th grader because of how tall she was. After siting down and getting unpacked, I looked at Addison. There was a gap between our desks. I looked into her shining blue eyes.   " Ehhh," she said while pinching her nose and tilting her head back.   " Now Addison that is no way to treat our new student "   She smirked and and scooted the desk farther away from me.   " Now time to start arithmetic," said the teacher.   " Why don't you like me, Addison,"   I finally managed to say. She scooted her chair over then said, " Your hair, it's brown, and you smell like cabage water."   I looked around, Every one had blonde hair, but me. Tons of people would stare then whisper to the person next to them. I stood up on the desk and screamed.   " SHUT UP! "   Then ran out of the classroom. I didn't know where I was going I just wanted to get out of here, run to the fields lay on the grass and cry. And that's what I did.   I sat in the fields crying. I knew I didn't have any friends yet, so my idea of running to the fields was dumb. All I could see of school was the bobbing of heads and the faint voices of the teachers looking for me. I just wanted some friends, after a while of the bugs buzzing in my ears and centipedes crawling on me I stood up ready for my punishment. Then something amazing happened. Something had whispered " Hi Emily. "   " Hello, is anyone there." I started to spin around looking for the presence of another person. " Hello, hello! Anyone, hello,"   I didn't know what was happening. All I knew was that someone or something had said hi to me. I continued spinning. There was no one here but me. I soon got scared.   " What's wrong? "   I looked up at the sky.   " Well I think the people at my new school don't really like me. " Chapter 4  "I like you, Emily. Let's be best friend's." I still didn`t know who was talking to me but he or she wanted to be friends. Publication Date: January 14th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-cloverena

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-friedrich-schiller-the-camp-of-wallenstein/

Friedrich Schiller The Camp of Wallenstein The Camp of Wallenstein is an introduction to the celebrated tragedy of that name; and, by its vivid portraiture of the state of the general's army, gives the best clue to the spell of his gigantic power. The blind belief entertained in the unfailing success of his arms, and in the supernatural agencies by which that success is secured to him; the unrestrained indulgence of every passion, and utter disregard of all law, save that of the camp; a hard oppression of the peasantry and plunder of the country, have all swollen the soldiery with an idea of interminable sway. But as we have translated the whole, we shall leave these reckless marauders to speak for themselves. Of Schiller's opinion concerning the Camp, as a necessary introduction to the tragedy, the following passage taken from the prologue to the first representation, will give a just idea, and may also serve as a motto to the work: - "Not he it is, who on the tragic scene Will now appear - but in the fearless bands Whom his command alone could sway, and whom His spirit fired, you may his shadow see, Until the bashful Muse shall dare to bring Himself before you in a living form; For power it was that bore his heart astray His Camp, alone, elucidates his crime." Sergeant-Major of a regiment of Recruit. Trumpeter Terzky's carabineers. Citizen. Artilleryman, Peasant. Sharpshooters. Peasant Boy. Mounted Yagers, of Holk's corps. Capuchin. Dragoons, of Butler's regiment. Regimental Schoolmaster. Arquebusiers, of Tiefenbach's regiment. Sutler-Woman. Cuirassier, of a Walloon regiment. Servant Girl. Cuirassier, of a Lombard regiment. Soldiers' Boys. Croats. Musicians. Hulans. (SCENE.--The Camp before Pilsen, in Bohemia.) SCENE I. Sutlers' tents - in front, a Slop-shop. Soldiers of all colors and uniforms thronging about. Tables all filled. Croats and Hulans cooking at a fire. Sutler-woman serving out wine. Soldier-boys throwing dice on a drum-head. Singing heard from the tent. Enter a Peasant and his Son. SON. Father, I fear it will come to harm, So let us be off from this soldier swarm; But boist'rous mates will ye find in the shoal - 'Twere better to bolt while our skins are whole. FATHER. How now, boy! the fellows wont eat us, though They may be a little unruly, or so. See, yonder, arriving a stranger train, Fresh comers are they from the Saal and Mayne; Much booty they bring of the rarest sort - 'Tis ours, if we cleverly drive our sport. A captain, who fell by his comrade's sword, This pair of sure dice to me transferred; To-day I'll just give them a trial to see If their knack's as good as it used to be. You must play the part of a pitiful devil, For these roaring rogues, who so loosely revel, Are easily smoothed, and tricked, and flattered, And, free as it came, their gold is scattered. But we - since by bushels our all is taken, By spoonfuls must ladle it back again; And, if with their swords they slash so highly, We must look sharp, boy, and do them slyly. [Singing and shouting in the tent. Hark, how they shout! God help the day! 'Tis the peasant's hide for their sport must pay. Eight months in our beds and stalls have they Been swarming here, until far around Not a bird or a beast is longer found, And the peasant, to quiet his craving maw, Has nothing now left but his bones to gnaw. Ne'er were we crushed with a heavier hand, When the Saxon was lording it o'er the land: And these are the Emperor's troops, they say! SON. From the kitchen a couple are coming this way, Not much shall we make by such blades as they. FATHER. They're born Bohemian knaves - the two - Belonging to Terzky's carabineers, Who've lain in these quarters now for years; The worst are they of the worthless crew. Strutting, swaggering, proud and vain, They seem to think they may well disdain With the peasant a glass of his wine to drain But, soft - to the left o' the fire I see Three riflemen, who from the Tyrol should be Emmerick, come, boy, to them will we. Birds of this feather 'tis luck to find, Whose trim's so spruce, and their purse well lined. [They move towards the tent. SCENE II. The above - Sergeant-Major, Trumpeter, Hulan. TRUMPETER. What would the boor? Out, rascal, away! PEASANT. Some victuals and drink, worthy masters, I pray, For not a warm morsel we've tasted to day. TRUMPETER. Ay, guzzle and guttle - 'tis always the way. HULAN (with a glass). Not broken your fast! there - drink, ye hound! He leads the peasant to the tent - the others come forward. SERGEANT (to the Trumpeter). Think ye they've done it without good ground? Is it likely they double our pay to-day, Merely that we may be jolly and gay? TRUMPETER. Why, the duchess arrives to-day, we know, And her daughter too - SERGEANT. Tush! that's mere show - 'Tis the troops collected from other lands Who here at Pilsen have joined our bands - We must do the best we can t' allure 'em, With plentiful rations, and thus secure 'em. Where such abundant fare they find, A closer league with us to bind. TRUMPETER. Yes! - there's something in the wind. SERGEANT. The generals and commanders too - TRUMPETER. A rather ominous sight, 'tis true. SERGEANT. Who're met together so thickly here - TRUMPETER. Have plenty of work on their hands, that's clear. SERGEANT. The whispering and sending to and fro - TRUMPETER. Ay! Ay! SERGEANT. The big-wig from Vienna, I trow, Who since yesterday's seen to prowl about In his golden chain of office there - Something's at the bottom of this, I'll swear. TRUMPETER. A bloodhound is he beyond a doubt, By whom the duke's to be hunted out. SERGEANT. Mark ye well, man! - they doubt us now, And they fear the duke's mysterious brow; He hath clomb too high for them, and fain Would they beat him down from his perch again. TRUMPETER. But we will hold him still on high - That all would think as you and I! SERGEANT. Our regiment, and the other four Which Terzky leads - the bravest corps Throughout the camp, are the General's own, And have been trained to the trade by himself alone The officers hold their command of him, And are all his own, or for life or limb. SCENE III. Enter Croat with a necklace. Sharpshooter following him. The above. SHARPSHOOTER. Croat, where stole you that necklace, say? Get rid of it man - for thee 'tis unmeet: Come, take these pistols in change, I pray. CROAT. Nay, nay, Master Shooter, you're trying to cheat. SHARPSHOOTER. Then I'll give you this fine blue cap as well, A lottery prize which just I've won: Look at the cut of it - quite the swell! CROAT (twirling the Necklace in the Sun). But this is of pearls and of garnets bright, See, how it plays in the sunny light! SHARPSHOOTER (taking the Necklace). Well, I'll give you to boot, my own canteen - I'm in love with this bauble's beautiful sheen. [Looks at it. TRUMPETER. See, now! - how cleanly the Croat is done Snacks! Master Shooter, and mum's the word. CROAT (having put on the cap). I think your cap is a smartish one. SHARPSHOOTER (winking to the Trumpeter). 'Tis a regular swop, as these gents have heard. SCENE IV. The above. An Artilleryman. ARTILLERYMAN (to the Sergeant). How is this I pray, brother carabineer? Shall we longer stay here, our fingers warming, While the foe in the field around is swarming? SERGEANT. Art thou, indeed, in such hasty fret? Why the roads, as I think, are scarce passable yet. ARTILLERYMAN. For me they are not - I'm snug enough here - But a courier's come, our wits to waken With the precious news that Ratisbon's taken. TRUMPETER. Ha! then we soon shall have work in hand. SERGEANT. Indeed! to protect the Bavarian's land, Who hates the duke, as we understand, We won't put ourselves in a violent sweat. ARTILLERYMAN. Heyday! - you'll find you're a wiseacre yet. SCENE V. The above - Two Yagers. Afterwards Sutler-woman, Soldier-boy, Schoolmaster, Servant-girl. FIRST YAGER. See! see! Here meet we a jovial company! TRUMPETER. Who can these greencoats be, I wonder, That strut so gay and sprucely yonder! SERGEANT. They're the Yagers of Holk - and the lace they wear, I'll be sworn, was ne'er purchased at Leipzig fair. SUTLER-WOMAN (bringing wine). Welcome, good sirs! FIRST YAGER. Zounds, how now? Gustel of Blasewitz here, I vow! SUTLER-WOMAN. The same in sooth - and you I know, Are the lanky Peter of Itzeho: Who at Glueckstadt once, in revelling night, With the wags of our regiment, put to flight All his father's shiners - then crowned the fun - FIRST YAGER. By changing his pen for a rifle-gun. SUTLER-WOMAN. We're old acquaintance, then, 'tis clear. FIRST YAGER. And to think we should meet in Bohemia here! SUTLER-WOMAN. Oh, here to-day - to-morrow yonder - As the rude war-broom, in restless trace, Scatters and sweeps us from place to place. Meanwhile I've been doomed far round to wander. FIRST YAGER. So one would think, by the look of your face. SUTLER-WOMAN. Up the country I've rambled to Temsewar, Whither I went with the baggage-car, When Mansfeld before us we chased away; With the duke near Stralsund next we lay, Where trade went all to pot, I may say. I jogged with the succors to Mantua; And back again came, under Feria: Then, joining a Spanish regiment, I took a short cut across to Ghent; And now to Bohemia I'm come to get Old scores paid off, that are standing yet, If a helping hand by the duke be lent - And yonder you see my sutler's tent. FIRST YAGER. Well, all things seem in a flourishing way, But what have you done with the Scotchman, say, Who once in the camp was your constant flame? SUTLER-WOMAN. A villain, who tricked me clean, that same He bolted, and took to himself whate'er I'd managed to scrape together, or spare, Leaving me naught but the urchin there. SOLDIER-BOY (springing forward). Mother, is it my papa you name? FIRST YAGER. Well, the emperor now must father this elf, For the army must ever recruit itself. SCHOOLMASTER. Forth to the school, ye rogue - d'ye hear? FIRST YAGER. He, too, of a narrow room has fear. SERVANT GIRL (entering). Aunt, they'll be off. SUTLER-WOMAN. I come apace. FIRST YAGER. What gypsy is that with the roguish face? SUTLER-WOMAN. My sister's child from the south, is she. FIRST YAGER. Ay, ay, a sweet little niece - I see. SECOND YAGER (holding the girl). Softly, my pretty one! stay with me. GIRL. The customers wait, sir, and I must go. [Disengages herself, and exit. FIRST YAGER. That maiden's a dainty morsel, I trow! And her aunt - by heaven! I mind me well, - When the best of the regiment loved her so, To blows for her beautiful face they fell. What different folks one's doomed to know! How time glows off with a ceaseless flow! And what sights as yet we may live to see! (To the Sergeant and Trumpeter.) Your health, good sirs, may we be free, A seat beside you here to take? SCENE VI. The Yagers, Sergeant, and Trumpeter. SERGEANT. We thank ye - and room will gladly make. To Bohemia welcome. FIRST YAGER. Snug enough here! In the land of the foe our quarters were queer. TRUMPETER. You haven't the look on't - you're spruce to view. SERGEANT. Ay, faith, on the Saal, and in Meissen, too, Your praises are heard from the lips of few. SECOND YAGER. Tush, man! why, what the plague d'ye mean? The Croat had swept the fields so clean, There was little or nothing for us to glean. TRUMPETER. Yet your pointed collar is clean and sightly, And, then, your hose that sit so tightly! Your linen so fine, with the hat and feather, Make a show of smartness altogether! (To Sergeant.) That fortune should upon younkers shine - While nothing in your way comes, or mine. SERGEANT. But then we're the Friedlander's regiment And, thus, may honor and homage claim. FIRST YAGER. For us, now, that's no great compliment, We, also, bear the Friedlander's name. SERGEANT. True - you form part of the general mass. FIRST YAGER. And you, I suppose, are a separate class! The difference lies in the coats we wear, And I have no wish to change with you there. SERGEANT. Sir Yager, I can't but with pity melt, When I think how much among boors you've dwelt. The clever knack and the proper tone, Are caught by the general's side alone. FIRST YAGER. Then the lesson is wofully thrown away, - How he hawks and spits, indeed, I may say You've copied and caught in the cleverest way; But his spirit, his genius - oh, these I ween, On your guard parade are but seldom seen. SECOND YAGER. Why, zounds! ask for us wherever you will, Friedland's wild hunt is our title still! Never shaming the name, all undaunted we go Alike through the field of a friend, or a foe; Through the rising stalk, or the yellow corn, Well know they the blast of Holk's Yager horn. In the flash of an eye, we are far or near, Swift as the deluge, or there or here - As at midnight dark, when the flames outbreak In the silent dwelling where none awake; Vain is the hope in weapons or flight, Nor order nor discipline thwart its might. Then struggles the maid in our sinewy arms, But war hath no pity, and scorns alarms. Go, ask - I speak not with boastful tongue - In Bareuth, Westphalia, Voigtland, where'er Our troops have traversed - go, ask them there - Children and children's children long, When hundreds and hundreds of years are o'er, Of Holk will tell and his Yager corps. SERGEANT. Why, hark! Must a soldier then be made By driving this riotous, roaring trade! 'Tis drilling that makes him, skill and sense - Perception - thought - intelligence. FIRST YAGER. 'Tis liberty makes him! Here's a fuss! That I should such twaddle as this discuss. Was it for this that I left the school? That the scribbling desk, and the slavish rule, And the narrow walls, that our spirits cramp, Should be met with again in the midst of the camp? No! Idle and heedless, I'll take my way, Hunting for novelty every day; Trust to the moment with dauntless mind, And give not a glance or before or behind. For this to the emperor I sold my hide, That no other care I might have to bide. Through the foe's fierce firing bid me ride, Through fathomless Rhine, in his roaring flow, Where ev'ry third man to the devil may go, At no bar will you find me boggling there; But, farther than this, 'tis my special prayer, That I may not be bothered with aught like care. SERGEANT. If this be your wish, you needn't lack it, 'Tis granted to all with the soldier's jacket. FIRST YAGER. What a fuss and a bother, forsooth, was made By that man-tormentor, Gustavus, the Swede, Whose camp was a church, where prayers were said At morning reveille and evening tattoo; And, whenever it chanced that we frisky grew, A sermon himself from the saddle he'd read. SERGEANT. Ay, that was a man with the fear of God. FIRST YAGER. Girls he detested; and what's rather odd, If caught with a wench you in wedlock were tacked, - I could stand it no longer, so off I packed. SERGEANT. Their discipline now has a trifle slacked. FIRST YAGER. Well, next to the League I rode over; their men Were mustering in haste against Magdeburg then. Ha! that was another guess sort of a thing! In frolic and fun we'd a glorious swing; With gaming, and drinking, and girls at call, I'faith, sirs, our sport was by no means small. For Tilly knew how to command, that's plain; He held himself in but gave us the rein; And, long as he hadn't the bother of paying, "Live and let live!" was the general's saying. But fortune soon gave him the slip; and ne'er Since the day of that villanous Leipzig affair Would aught go aright. 'Twas of little avail That we tried, for our plans were sure to fail. If now we drew nigh and rapped at the door, No greeting awaited, 'twas opened no more; From place to place we went sneaking about, And found that their stock of respect was out; Then touched I the Saxon bounty, and thought Their service with fortune must needs be fraught. SERGEANT. You joined them then just in the nick to share Bohemia's plunder? FIRST YAGER. I'd small luck there. Strict discipline sternly ruled the day, Nor dared we a foeman's force display; They set us to guard the imperial forts, And plagued us all with the farce of the courts. War they waged as a jest 'twere thought - And but half a heart to the business brought, They would break with none; and thus 'twas plain Small honor among them could a soldier gain. So heartily sick in the end grew I That my mind was the desk again to try; When suddenly, rattling near and far, The Friedlander's drum was heard to war. SERGEANT. And how long here may you mean to stay? FIRST YAGER. You jest, man. So long as he bears the sway, By my soul! not a thought of change have I; Where better than here could the soldier lie? Here the true fashion of war is found, And the cut of power's on all things round; While the spirit whereby the movement's given Mightily stirs, like the winds of heaven, The meanest trooper in all the throng. With a hearty step shall I tramp along On a burgher's neck as undaunted tread As our general does on the prince's head. As 'twas in the times of old 'tis now, The sword is the sceptre, and all must bow. One crime alone can I understand, And that's to oppose the word of command. What's not forbidden to do make bold, And none will ask you what creed you hold. Of just two things in this world I wot, What belongs to the army and what does not, To the banner alone is my service brought. SERGEANT. Thus, Yager, I like thee - thou speakest, I vow, With the tone of a Friedland trooper now. FIRST YAGER. 'Tis not as an office he holds command, Or a power received from the emperor's hand; For the emperor's service what should he care, What better for him does the emperor fare? With the mighty power he wields at will, Has ever he sheltered the land from ill? No; a soldier-kingdom he seeks to raise, And for this would set the world in a blaze, Daring to risk and to compass all - TRUMPETER. Hush - who shall such words as these let fall? FIRST YAGER. Whatever I think may be said by me, For the general tells us the word is free. SERGEANT. True - that he said so I fully agree, I was standing by. "The word is free - The deed is dumb - obedience blind!" His very words I can call to mind. FIRST YAGER. I know not if these were his words or no, But he said the thing, and 'tis even so. SECOND YAGER. Victory ne'er will his flag forsake, Though she's apt from others a turn to take: Old Tilly outlived his fame's decline, But under the banner of Wallenstein, There am I certain that victory's mine! Fortune is spell-bound to him, and must yield; Whoe'er under Friedland shall take the field Is sure of a supernatural shield: For, as all the world is aware full well, The duke has a devil in hire from hell. SERGEANT. In truth that he's charmed is past a doubt, For we know how, at Luetzen's bloody affair, Where firing was thickest he still was there, As coolly as might be, sirs, riding about. The hat on his head was shot thro' and thro', In coat and boots the bullets that flew Left traces full clear to all men's view; But none got so far as to scratch off his skin, For the ointment of hell was too well rubbed in. FIRST YAGER. What wonders so strange can you all see there? An elk-skin jacket he happens to wear, And through it the bullets can make no way. SERGEANT. 'Tis an ointment of witches' herbs, I say, Kneaded and cooked by unholy spell. TRUMPETER. No doubt 'tis the work of the powers of hell. SERGEANT. That he reads in the stars we also hear, Where the future he sees - distant or near - But I know better the truth of the case A little gray man, at the dead of night, Through bolted doors to him will pace - The sentinels oft have hailed the sight, And something great was sure to be nigh, When this little gray-coat had glided by. FIRST YAGER. Ay, ay, he's sold himself to the devil, Wherefore, my lads, let's feast and revel. SCENE VII. The above - Recruit, Citizen, Dragoon. (The Recruit advances from the tent, wearing a tin cap on his head, and carrying a wine-flask.) RECRUIT. To father and uncle pray make my bow, And bid 'em good-by - I'm a soldier now. FIRST YAGER. See, yonder they're bringing us something new, CITIZEN. Oh, Franz, remember, this day you'll rue. RECRUIT (sings). The drum and the fife, War's rattling throng, And a wandering life The world along! Swift steed - and a hand To curb and command - With a blade by the side, We're off far and wide. As jolly and free, As the finch in its glee, On thicket or tree, Under heaven's wide hollow - Hurrah! for the Friedlander's banner I'll follow! SECOND YAGER. Foregad! a jolly companion, though. [They salute him. CITIZEN. He comes of good kin; now pray let him go. FIRST YAGER. And we wern't found in the streets you must know. CITIZEN. I tell you his wealth is a plentiful stock; Just feel the fine stuff that he wears for a frock. TRUMPETER. The emperor's coat is the best he can wear. CITIZEN. To a cap manufactory he is the heir. SECOND YAGER. The will of a man is his fortune alone. CITIZEN. His grandmother's shop will soon be his own. FIRST YAGER. Pish! traffic in matches! who would do't? CITIZEN. A wine-shop his grandfather leaves, to boot, A cellar with twenty casks of wine. TRUMPETER. These with his comrades he'll surely share. SECOND YAGER. Hark ye, lad - be a camp-brother of mine. CITIZEN. A bride he leaves sitting, in tears, apart. FIRST YAGER. Good - that now's a proof of an iron heart. CITIZEN. His grandmother's sure to die with sorrow. SECOND YAGER. The better - for then he'll inherit to-morrow. SERGEANT (advances gravely, and lays his hand on the Recruit's tin cap). The matter no doubt you have duly weighed, And here a new man of yourself have made; With hanger and helm, sir, you now belong To a nobler and more distinguished throng. Thus, a loftier spirit 'twere well to uphold - FIRST YAGER. And, specially, never be sparing of gold. SERGEANT. In Fortune's ship, with an onward gale, My friend, you have made up your mind to sail. The earth-ball is open before you - yet there Naught's to be gained, but by those who dare. Stupid and sluggish your citizen's found, Like a dyer's dull jade, in his ceaseless round, While the soldier can be whatever he will, For war o'er the earth is the watchword still. Just look now at me, and the coat I wear, You see that the emperor's baton I bear - And all good government, over the earth, You must know from the baton alone has birth; For the sceptre that's swayed by the kingly hand Is naught but a baton, we understand. And he who has corporal's rank obtained, Stands on the ladder where all's to be gained, And you, like another, may mount to that height - FIRST YAGER. Provided you can but read and write. SERGEANT. Now, hark to an instance of this from me, And one, which I've lived myself to see There's Butler, the chief of dragoons, why he, Whose rank was not higher a whit than mine, Some thirty years since, at Cologne on Rhine, Is a major-general now - because He put himself forward and gained applause; Filling the world with his martial fame, While slept my merits without a name. And even the Friedlander's self - I've heard - Our general and all-commanding lord, Who now can do what he will at a word, Had at first but a private squire's degree; In the goddess of war yet trusting free, He reared the greatness which now you see, And, after the emperor, next is he. Who knows what more he may mean or get? (Slyly.) For all-day's evening isn't come yet. FIRST YAGER. He was little at first, though now so great - For at Altorf, in student's gown he played By your leave, the part of a roaring blade, And rattled away at a queerish rate. His fag he had well nigh killed by a blow, And their Nur'mburg worships swore he should go To jail for his pains - if he liked it or no. 'Twas a new-built nest to be christened by him Who first should be lodged. Well, what was his whim? Why, he sent his dog forward to lead the way, And they call the jail from the dog to this day. That was the game a brave fellow should play, And of all the great deeds of the general, none E'er tickled my fancy, like this one. [During this speech, the second Yager has begun toying with the girl who has been in waiting.] DRAGOON (stepping between them). Comrade - give over this sport, I pray. SECOND YAGER. Why, who the devil shall say me nay! DRAGOON. I've only to tell you the girl's my own. FIRST YAGER. Such a morsel as this, for himself alone! - Dragoon, why say, art thou crazy grown? SECOND YAGER. In the camp to be keeping a wench for one! No! the light of a pretty girl's face must fall, Like the beams of the sun, to gladden us all. (Kisses her.) DRAGOON (tears her away). I tell you again, that it shan't be done. FIRST YAGER. The pipers are coming, lads! now for fun! SECOND YAGER (to Dragoon). I shan't be far off, should you look for me. SERGEANT. Peace, my good fellows! - a kiss goes free. SCENE VIII. Enter Miners, and play a waltz - at first slowly, and afterwards quicker. The first Yager dances with the girl, the Sutler-woman with the recruit. The girl springs away, and the Yager, pursuing her, seizes hold of a Capuchin Friar just entering. CAPUCHIN. Hurrah! halloo! tol, lol, de rol, le! The fun's at its height! I'll not be away! Is't an army of Christians that join in such works? Or are we all turned Anabaptists and Turks? Is the Sabbath a day for this sport in the land, As though the great God had the gout in his hand, And thus couldn't smite in the midst of your band? Say, is this a time for your revelling shouts, For your banquetings, feasts, and holiday bouts? Quid hic statis otiosi? declare Why, folding your arms, stand ye lazily there? While the furies of war on the Danube now fare And Bavaria's bulwark is lying full low, And Ratisbon's fast in the clutch of the foe. Yet, the army lies here in Bohemia still, And caring for naught, so their paunches they fill! Bottles far rather than battles you'll get, And your bills than your broad-swords more readily wet; With the wenches, I ween, is your dearest concern, And you'd rather roast oxen than Oxenstiern. In sackcloth and ashes while Christendom's grieving, No thought has the soldier his guzzle of leaving. 'Tis a time of misery, groans, and tears! Portentous the face of the heavens appears! And forth from the clouds behold blood-red, The Lord's war-mantle is downward spread - While the comet is thrust as a threatening rod, From the window of heaven by the hand of God. The world is but one vast house of woe, The ark of the church stems a bloody flow, The Holy Empire - God help the same! Has wretchedly sunk to a hollow name. The Rhine's gay stream has a gory gleam, The cloister's nests are robbed by roysters; The church-lands now are changed to lurch-lands; Abbacies, and all other holy foundations Now are but robber-sees - rogues' habitations. And thus is each once-blest German state, Deep sunk in the gloom of the desolate! Whence comes all this? Oh, that will I tell - It comes of your doings, of sin, and of hell; Of the horrible, heathenish lives ye lead, Soldiers and officers, all of a breed. For sin is the magnet, on every hand, That draws your steel throughout the land! As the onion causes the tear to flow, So vice must ever be followed by woe - The W duly succeeds the V, This is the order of A, B, C. Ubi erit victoriae spes, Si offenditur Deus? which says, How, pray ye, shall victory e'er come to pass, If thus you play truant from sermon and mass, And do nothing but lazily loll o'er the glass? The woman, we're told in the Testament, Found the penny in search whereof she went. Saul met with his father's asses again, And Joseph his precious fraternal train, But he, who 'mong soldiers shall hope to see God's fear, or shame, or discipline - he From his toil, beyond doubt, will baffled return, Though a hundred lamps in the search he burn. To the wilderness preacher, th' Evangelist says, The soldiers, too, thronged to repent of their ways, And had themselves christened in former days. Quid faciemus nos? they said: Toward Abraham's bosom what path must we tread? Et ait illis, and, said he, Neminem concutiatis; From bother and wrongs leave your neighbors free. Neque calumniam faciatis; And deal nor in slander nor lies, d'ye see? Contenti estote - content ye, pray, Stipendiis vestris - with your pay - And curse forever each evil way. There is a command - thou shalt not utter The name of the Lord thy God in vain; But, where is it men most blasphemies mutter? Why here, in Duke Friedland's headquarters, 'tie plain If for every thunder, and every blast, Which blazing ye from your tongue-points cast, The bells were but rung, in the country round, Not a bellman, I ween, would there soon be found; And if for each and every unholy prayer Which to vent from your jabbering jaws you dare, From your noddles were plucked but the smallest hair, Ev'ry crop would be smoothed ere the sun went down, Though at morn 'twere as bushy as Absalom's crown. Now, Joshua, methinks, was a soldier as well - By the arm of King David the Philistine fell; But where do we find it written, I pray, That they ever blasphemed in this villanous way? One would think ye need stretch your jaws no more, To cry, "God help us!" than "Zounds!" to roar. But, by the liquor that's poured in the cask, we know With what it will bubble and overflow. Again, it is written - thou shalt not steal, And this you follow, i'faith! to the letter, For open-faced robbery suits ye better. The gripe of your vulture claws you fix On all - and your wiles and rascally tricks Make the gold unhid in our coffers now, And the calf unsafe while yet in the cow - Ye take both the egg and the hen, I vow. Contenti estote - the preacher said; Which means - be content with your army bread. But how should the slaves not from duty swerve? The mischief begins with the lord they serve, Just like the members so is the head. I should like to know who can tell me his creed. FIRST YAGER. Sir priest, 'gainst ourselves rail on as you will - Of the general we warn you to breathe no ill. CAPUCHIN. Ne custodias gregem meam! An Ahab is he, and a Jerobeam, Who the people from faith's unerring way, To the worship of idols would turn astray, TRUMPETER and RECRUIT. Let us not hear that again, we pray. CAPUCHIN. Such a Bramarbas, whose iron tooth Would seize all the strongholds of earth forsooth! Did he not boast, with ungodly tongue, That Stralsund must needs to his grasp be wrung, Though to heaven itself with a chain 'twere strung? TRUMPETER. Will none put a stop to his slanderous bawl? CAPUCHIN. A wizard he is! - and a sorcerer Saul! - Holofernes! - a Jehu! - denying, we know, Like St. Peter, his Master and Lord below; And hence must he quail when the cock doth crow - BOTH YAGERS. Now, parson, prepare; for thy doom is nigh. CAPUCHIN. A fox more cunning than Herod, I trow - TRUMPETER and both YAGERS (pressing against him). Silence, again, - if thou wouldst not die! CROATS (interfering.) Stick to it, father; we'll shield you, ne'er fear; The close of your preachment now let's hear. CAPUCHIN (still louder). A Nebuchadnezzar in towering pride! And a vile and heretic sinner beside! He calls himself rightly the stone of a wall; For faith! he's a stumbling-stone to us all. And ne'er can the emperor have peace indeed, Till of Friedland himself the land is freed. [During the last passages which he pronounces in an elevated voice, he has been gradually retreating, the Croats keeping the other soldiers off. SCENE IX. The above, without the Capuchin. FIRST YAGER (to the Sergeant). But, tell us, what meant he about chanticleer; Whose crowing the general dares to hear? No doubt it was uttered in spite and scorn. SERGEANT. Listen - 'Tis not so untrue as it appears; For Friedland was rather mysteriously born, And is 'specially troubled with ticklish ears; He can never suffer the mew of a cat; And when the cock crows he starts thereat. FIRST YAGER. He's one and the same with the lion in that. SERGEANT. Mouse-still must all around him creep, Strict watch in this the sentinels keep, For he ponders on matters most grave and deep. [Voices in the tent. A tumult. Seize the rascal! Lay on! lay on! PEASANT'S VOICE. Help! - mercy - help! OTHERS. Peace! peace! begone! FIRST YAGER. Deuce take me, but yonder the swords are out! SECOND YAGER. Then I must be off, and see what 'tis about. [Yagers enter the tent. SUTLER-WOMAN (comes forward). A scandalous villain! - a scurvy thief! TRUMPETER. Good hostess, the cause of this clamorous grief? SUTLER-WOMAN. A cut-purse! a scoundrel! the-villain I call. That the like in my tent should ever befall! I'm disgraced and undone with the officers all. SERGEANT. Well, coz, what is it? SUTLER-WOMAN. Why, what should it be? But a peasant they've taken just now with me - A rogue with false dice, to favor his play. TRUMPETER. See I they're bringing the boor and his son this way. SCENE X. Soldiers dragging in the peasant, bound. FIRST YAGER. He must hang! SHARPSHOOTERS and DRAGOONS. To the provost, come on! SERGEANT. 'Tis the latest order that forth has gone. SUTLER-WOMAN. In an hour I hope to behold him swinging! SERGEANT. Bad work bad wages will needs be bringing. FIRST ARQUEBUSIER (to the others). This comes of their desperation. We First ruin them out and out, d'ye see; Which tempts them to steal, as it seems to me. TRUMPETER. How now! the rascal's cause would you plead? The cur! the devil is in you indeed! FIRST ARQUEBUSIER. The boor is a man - as a body may say. FIRST YAGER (to the Trumpeter). Let 'em go! they're of Tiefenbach's corps, the railers, A glorious train of glovers and tailors! At Brieg, in garrison, long they lay; What should they know about camps, I pray? SCENE XI. The above. - Cuirassiers. FIRST CUIRASSIER. Peace! what's amiss with the boor, may I crave? FIRST SHARPSHOOTER. He has cheated at play, the cozening knave! FIRST CUIRASSIER. But say, has he cheated you, man, of aught? FIRST SHARPHOOTER. Just cleaned me out - and not left me a groat. FIRST CUIRASSIER. And can you, who've the rank of a Friedland man, So shamefully cast yourself away, As to try your luck with the boor at play? Let him run off, so that run he can. [The peasant escapes, the others throng together. FIRST ARQUEBUSIER. He makes short work - is of resolute mood - And that with such fellows as these is good. Who is he? not of Bohemia, that's clear. SUTLER-WOMAN. He's a Walloon - and respect, I trow, Is due to the Pappenheim cuirassier! FIRST DRAGOON (joining). Young Piccolomini leads them now, Whom they chose as colonel, of their own free might, When Pappenheim fell in Luetzen's fight. FIRST ARQUEBUSIER. Durst they, indeed, presume so far? FIRST DRAGOON. This regiment is something above the rest. It has ever been foremost through the war, And may manage its laws, as it pleases best; Besides, 'tis by Friedland himself caressed. FIRST CUIRASSIER (to the Second.) Is't so in truth, man? Who averred it? SECOND CUIRASSIER. From the lips of the colonel himself I heard it. FIRST CUIRASSIER. The devil! we're not their dogs, I weep! FIRST YAGER. How now, what's wrong? You're swollen with spleen! SECOND YAGER. Is it anything, comrades, may us concern? FIRST CUIRASSIER. 'Tis what none need be wondrous glad to learn. The Soldiers press round him. To the Netherlands they would lend us now - Cuirassiers, Yagers, and Shooters away, Eight thousand in all must march, they say. SUTLER-WOMAN. What! What! again the old wandering way - I got back from Flanders but yesterday! SECOND CUIRASSIER (to the Dragoons). You of Butler's corps must tramp with the rest. FIRST CUIRASSIER. And we, the Walloons, must doubtless be gone. SUTLER-WOMAN. Why, of all our squadrons these are the best. FIRST CUIRASSIER. To march where that Milanese fellow leads on. FIRST YAGER. The infant? that's queer enough in its way. SECOND YAGER. The priest - then, egad! there's the devil to pay. FIRST CUIRASSIER. Shall we then leave the Friedlander's train, Who so nobly his soldiers doth entertain - And drag to the field with this fellow from Spain! A niggard whom we in our souls disdain! That'll never go down - I'm off, I swear. TRUMPETER. Why, what the devil should we do there? We sold our blood to the emperor - ne'er For this Spanish red hat a drop we'll spare! SECOND YAGER. On the Friedlander's word and credit alone We ranged ourselves in the trooper line, And, but for our love to Wallenstein, Ferdinand ne'er had our service known. FIRST DRAGOON. Was it not Friedland that formed our force? His fortune shall still be the star of our course. SERGEANT. Silence, good comrades, to me give ear - Talking does little to help us here. Much farther in this I can see than you all, And a trap has been laid in which we're to fall; FIRST YAGER. List to the order-book! hush - be still! SERGEANT. But first, Cousin Gustel, I pray thee fill A glass of Melneck, as my stomach's but weak When I've tossed it off, my mind I'll speak. SUTLER-WOMAN. Take it, good sergeant. I quake for fear - Think you that mischief is hidden here? SERGEANT. Look ye, my friends, 'tis fit and clear That each should consider what's most near. But as the general says, say I, One should always the whole of a case descry. We call ourselves all the Friedlander's troops; The burgher, on whom we're billeted, stoops Our wants to supply, and cooks our soups. His ox, or his horse, the peasant must chain To our baggage-car, and may grumble in vain. Just let a lance-corp'ral, with seven good men, Tow'rd a village from far but come within ken, You're sure he'll be prince of the place, and may Cut what capers he will, with unquestioned sway. Why, zounds! lads, they heartily hate us all - And would rather the devil should give them a call, Than our yellow collars. And why don't they fall On us fairly at once and get rid of our lumber? They're more than our match in point of number, And carry the cudgel as we do the sword. Why can we laugh them to scorn? By my word Because we make up here a terrible horde. FIRST YAGER. Ay, ay, in the mass lies the spell of our might, And the Friedlander judged the matter aright, When, some eight or nine years ago, he brought The emperor's army together. They thought Twelve thousand enough for the general. In vain, Said he, such a force I can never maintain. Sixty thousand I'll bring ye into the plain, And they, I'll be sworn, won't of hunger die, And thus were we Wallenstein's men, say I. SERGEANT. For example, cut one of my fingers off, This little one here from my right hand doff. Is the taking my finger then all you've done? No, no, to the devil my hand is gone! 'Tis a stump - no more - and use has none. The eight thousand horse they wish to disband May be but a finger of our army's hand. But when they're once gone may we understand We are but one-fifth the less? Oh, no - By the Lord, the whole to the devil will go! All terror, respect, and awe will be over, And the peasant will swell his crest once more; And the Board of Vienna will order us where Our troops must be quartered and how we must fare, As of old in the days of their beggarly care. Yes, and how long it will be who can say Ere the general himself they may take away? For they don't much like him at court I learn? And then it's all up with the whole concern! For who, to our pay, will be left to aid us? And see that they keep the promise they made us? Who has the energy - who the mind - The flashing thought - and the fearless hand - Together to bring, and thus fastly bind The fragments that form our close-knit band. For example, dragoon - just answer us now, From which of the countries of earth art thou? DRAGOON. From distant Erin came I here. SERGEANT (to the two Cuirassiers). You're a Walloon, my friend, that's clear, And you, an Italian, as all may hear. FIRST CUIRASSIER. Who I may be, faith! I never could say; In my infant years they stole me away. SERGEANT. And you, from what far land may you be? FIRST ARQUEBUSIER. I come from Buchau - on the Feder Sea. SERGEANT. Neighbor, and you? SECOND ARQUEBUSIER. I am a Swiss. SERGEANT (to the second Yager). And Yager, let's hear where your country is? SECOND YAGER. Up above Wismar my fathers dwell. SERGEANT (pointing to the Trumpeter). And he's from Eger - and I as well: And now, my comrades, I ask you whether, Would any one think, when looking at us, That we, from the North and South, had thus Been hitherward drifted and blown together? Do we not seem as hewn from one mass? Stand we not close against the foe As though we were glued or moulded so? Like mill-work don't we move, d'ye think! 'Mong ourselves in the nick, at a word or wink. Who has thus cast us here all as one, Now to be severed again by none? Who? why, no other than Wallenstein! FIRST YAGER. In my life it ne'er was a thought of mine Whether we suited each other or not, I let myself go with the rest of the lot. FIRST CUIRASSIER. I quite agree in the sergeant's opinion - They'd fain have an end of our camp dominion, And trample the soldier down, that they May govern alone in their own good way. 'Tis a conspiration - a plot, I say! SUTLER-WOMAN. A conspiration - God help the day! Then my customers won't have cash to pay. SERGEANT. Why, faith, we shall all be bankrupts made; The captains and generals, most of them, paid The costs of the regiments with private cash, And, wishing, 'bove all, to cut a dash, Went a little beyond their means - but thought, No doubt, that they thus had a bargain bought. Now they'll be cheated, sirs, one and all, Should our chief, our head, the general fall. SUTLER-WOMAN. Oh, Heaven! this curse I never can brook Why, half of the army stand in my book. Two hundred dollars I've trusted madly That Count Isolani who pays so badly. FIRST CUIRASSIER. Well, comrades, let's fix on what's to be done - Of the ways to save us, I see but one; If we hold together we need not fear; So let us stand out as one man here; And then they may order and send as they will, Fast planted we'll stick in Bohemia still. We'll never give in - no, nor march an inch, We stand on our honor, and must not flinch. SECOND YAGER. We're not to be driven the country about, Let 'em come here, and they'll find it out. FIRST ARQUEBUSIER. Good sirs, 'twere well to bethink ye still, That such is the emperor's sovereign will. TRUMPETER. Oh, as to the emperor, we needn't be nice. FIRST ARQUEBUSIER. Let me not hear you say so twice. TRUMPETER. Why, 'tis even so - as I just have said. FIRST YAGER. True, man - I've always heard 'em say, 'Tis Friedland, alone, you've here to obey. SERGEANT. By our bargain with him it should be so, Absolute power is his, you must know, We've war, or peace, but as he may please, Or gold or goods he has power to seize, And hanging or pardon his will decrees. Captains and colonels he makes - and he, In short, by the imperial seal is free, To hold all the marks of sovereignty. FIRST ARQUEBUSIER. The duke is high and of mighty will, But yet must remain, for good or for ill, Like us all, but the emperor's servant still. SERGEANT. Not like us all - I there disagree - Friedland is quite independent and free, The Bavarian is no more a prince than he For, was I not by myself to see, When on duty at Brandeis, how the emperor said, He wished him to cover his princely head. FIRST ARQUEBUSIER. That was because of the Mecklenburgh land, Which he held in pawn from the emperor's hand. FIRST YAGER (to the Sergeant). In the emperor's presence, man! say you so? That, beyond doubt, was a wonderful go! SERGEANT (feels in his pocket). If you question my word in what I have told, I can give you something to grasp and hold. [Showing a coin. Whose image and stamp d'ye here behold? SUTLER-WOMAN. Oh! that is a Wallenstein's, sure! SERGEANT-MAJOR. Well, there, you have it - what doubt can rest Is he not prince, just as good as the best? Coins he not money like Ferdinand? Hath he not his own subjects and land? Is he not called your highness, I pray? And why should he not have his soldiers in? FIRST ARQUEBUSIER. That no one has ever meant to gainsay; But we're still at the emperor's beck and call, For his majesty 'tis who pays us all. TRUMPETER. In your teeth I deny it - and will again - His majesty 'tis who pays us not, For this forty weeks, say, what have we got But a promise to pay, believed in vain? FIRST ARQUEBUSIER. What then! 'tis kept in safe hands, I suppose. FIRST CUIRASSIER. Peace, good sirs, will you come to blows? Have you a quarrel and squabble to know If the emperor be our master or no? 'Tis because of our rank, as his soldiers brave, That we scorn the lot of the herded slave; And will not be driven from place to place, As priest or puppies our path may trace. And, tell me, is't not the sovereign's gain, If the soldiers their dignity will maintain? Who but his soldiers give him the state Of a mighty, wide-ruling potentate? Make and preserve for him, far and near, The voice which Christendom quakes to hear? Well enough they may his yoke-chain bear, Who feast on his favors, and daily share, In golden chambers, his sumptuous fare. We - we of his splendors have no part, Naught but hard wearying toil and care, And the pride that lives in a soldier's heart. SECOND YAGER. All great tyrants and kings have shown Their wit, as I take it, in what they've done; They've trampled all others with stern command, But the soldier they've led with a gentle hand. FIRST CUIRASSIER. The soldier his worth must understand; Whoe'er doesn't nobly drive the trade, 'Twere best from the business far he'd stayed. If I cheerily set my life on a throw, Something still better than life I'll know; Or I'll stand to be slain for the paltry pelf, As the Croat still does - and scorn myself. BOTH PAGERS. Yes - honor is dearer than life itself. FIRST CUIRASSIER. The sword is no plough, nor delving tool, He, who would till with it, is but a fool. For us, neither grass nor grain doth grow, Houseless the soldier is doomed to go, A changeful wanderer over the earth, Ne'er knowing the warmth of a home-lit hearth. The city glances - he halts - not there - Nor in village meadows, so green and fair; The vintage and harvest wreath are twined He sees, but must leave them far behind. Then, tell me, what hath the soldier left, If he's once of his self-esteem bereft? Something he must have his own to call, Or on slaughter and burnings at once he'll fall. FIRST ARQUEBUSIER. God knows, 'tis a wretched life to live! FIRST CUIRASSIER. Yet one, which I, for no other would give, Look ye - far round in the world I've been, And all of its different service seen. The Venetian Republic - the Kings of Spain And Naples I've served, and served in vain. Fortune still frowned - and merchant and knight, Craftsmen and Jesuit, have met my sight; Yet, of all their jackets, not one have I known To please me like this steel coat of my own. FIRST ARQUEBUSIER. Well - that now is what I can scarcely say. FIRST CUIRASSIER. In the world, a man who would make his way, Must plague and bestir himself night and day. To honor and place if he choose the road, He must bend his back to the golden load. And if home-delights should his fancy please, With children and grandchildren round his knees, Let him follow an honest trade in peace. I've no taste for this kind of life - not I! Free will I live, and as freely die. No man's spoiler nor heir will I be - But, throned on my nag, I will smile to see The coil of the crowd that is under me. FIRST YAGER. Bravo! - that's as I've always done. FIRST ARQUEBUSIER. In truth, sirs, it may be far better fun To trample thus over your neighbor's crown. FIRST CUIRASSIER. Comrade, the times are bad of late - The sword and the scales live separate. But do not then blame that I've preferred, Of the two, to lean, as I have, to the sword. For mercy in war I will yield to none, Though I never will stoop to be drummed upon. FIRST ARQUEBUSIER. Who but the soldier the blame should bear That the laboring poor so hardly fare? The war with its plagues, which all have blasted Now sixteen years in the land hath lasted. FIRST CUIRASSIER. Why, brother, the blessed God above Can't have from us all an equal love. One prays for the sun, at which t'other will fret One is for dry weather-t'other for wet. What you, now, regard as with misery rife, Is to me the unclouded sun of life. If 'tis at the cost of the burgher and boor, I really am sorry that they must endure; But how can I help it? Here, you must know, 'Tis just like a cavalry charge 'gainst the foe: The steeds loud snorting, and on they go! Whoever may lie in the mid-career - Be it my brother or son so dear, Should his dying groan my heart divide, Yet over his body I needs must ride, Nor pitying stop to drag him aside. FIRST YAGER. True - who ever asks how another may bide? FIRST CUIRASSIER. Thus, my lads, 'tis my counsel, while On the soldier Dame Fortune deigns to smile, That we with both hands her bounty clasp, For it may not be much longer left to our grasp. Peace will be coming some over-night, And then there's an end of our martial might. The soldier unhorsed, and fresh mounted to boor, Ere you can think it 'twill be as before. As yet we're together firm bound in the land, The hilt is yet fast in the soldier's hand. But let 'em divide us, and soon we shall find, Short commons is all that remains behind. FIRST YAGER. No, no, by the Lord! That won't do for me. Come, come, lads, let's all now, as one, agree. SECOND YAGER. Yes, let us resolve on what 'tis to be. FIRST ARQUEBUSIER (To the Sutler-woman, drawing out his leather purse). Hostess, tell us how high you've scored. SUTLER-WOMAN. Oh, 'tis unworthy a single word. [They settle. TRUMPETER. You do well, sirs, to take a further walk, Your company only disturbs our talk. [Exeunt Arquebusiers. FIRST CUIRASSIER. Plague take the fellows - they're brave, I know. FIRST YAGER. They haven't a soul 'bove a soapboiler's, though. SECOND YAGER. We're now alone, so teach us who can How best we may meet and mar their plan. TRUMPETER. How? Why, let's tell them we will not go! FIRST CUIRASSIER. Despising all discipline! No, my lads, no, Rather his corps let each of us seek, And quietly then with his comrades speak, That every soldier may clearly know, It were not for his good so far to go; For my Walloons to answer I'm free, Every man of 'em thinks and acts with me. SERGEANT. The Terzky regiments, both horse and foot, Will thus resolve, and will keep them to't. SECOND CUIRASSIER (joining the first). The Walloons and the Lombards one intent. FIRST YAGER. Freedom is Yagers' own element. SECOND YAGER. Freedom must ever with might entwine - I live and will die by Wallenstein. FIRST SHARPSHOOTER. The Lorrainers go on with the strongest tide, Where spirits are light and courage tried. DRAGOON. An Irishman follows his fortune's star. SECOND SHARPSHOOTER. The Tyrolese for their sovereign war. FIRST CUIRASSIER. Then, comrades, let each of our corps agree A pro memoria to sign - that we, In spite of all force or fraud, will be To the fortunes of Friedland firmly bound, For in him is the soldier's father found. This we will humbly present, when done, To Piccolomini - I mean the son - Who understands these kind of affairs, And the Friedlander's highest favor shares; Besides, with the emperor's self, they say He holds a capital card to play. SECOND YAGER. Well, then, in this, let us all agree, That the colonel shall our spokesman be! ALL (going). Good! the colonel shall our spokesman be. SERGEANT. Hold, sirs - just toss off a glass with me To the health of Piccolomini. SUTLER-WOMAN (brings a flask). This shall not go to the list of scores, I gladly give it - success be yours! CUIRASSIER. The soldier shall sway! BOTH YAGERS. The peasant shall pay DRAGOONS and SHARPSHOOTERS. The army shall flourishing stand! TRUMPETER and SERGEANT. And the Friedlander keep the command! SECOND CUIRASSIER (sings). Arouse ye, my comrades, to horse! to horse! To the field and to freedom we guide! For there a man feels the pride of his force And there is the heart of him tried. No help to him there by another is shown, He stands for himself and himself alone. [The soldiers from the background have come forward during the singing of this verse and form the chorus. CHORUS. No help to him by another is shown, He stands for himself and himself alone. DRAGOON. Now freedom hath fled from the world, we find But lords and their bondsmen vile And nothing holds sway in the breast of mankind Save falsehood and cowardly guile. Who looks in death's face with a fearless brow, The soldier, alone, is the freeman now. CHORUS. Who looks in death's face with a fearless brow, The soldier, alone, is the freeman now. FIRST YAGER. With the troubles of life he ne'er bothers his pate, And feels neither fear nor sorrow; But boldly rides onward to meet with his fate - He may meet it to-day, or to-morrow! And, if to-morrow 'twill come, then, I say, Drain we the cup of life's joy to-day! CHORUS. And, if to-morrow 'twill come, then, I say, Drain we the cup of life's joy to-day! [The glasses are here refilled, and all drink. SERGEANT. 'Tis from heaven his jovial lot has birth; Nor needs he to strive or toil. The peasant may grope in the bowels of earth, And for treasure may greedily moil He digs and he delves through life for the pelf, And digs till he grubs out a grave for himself. CHORUS. He digs and he delves through life for the pelf, And digs till he grubs out a grave for himself. FIRST YAGER. The rider and lightning steed - a pair Of terrible guests, I ween! From the bridal-hall, as the torches glare, Unbidden they join the scene; Nor gold, nor wooing, his passion prove; By storm he carries the prize of love! CHORUS. Nor gold, nor wooing, his passion prove; By storm he carries the prize of love! SECOND CUIRASSIER. Why mourns the wench with so sorrowful face? Away, girl, the soldier must go! No spot on the earth is his resting-place; And your true love he never can know. Still onward driven by fate's rude wind, He nowhere may leave his peace behind. CHORUS. Still onward driven by fate's rude wind, He nowhere may leave his peace behind. FIRST YAGER. He takes the two next to him by the hand - the others do the same - and form a large semi-circle. Then rouse ye, my comrades - to horse! to horse! In battle the breast doth swell! Youth boils - the life-cup foams in its force - Up! ere time can dew dispel! And deep be the stake, as the prize is high - Who life would win, he must dare to die! CHORUS. And deep be the stake, as the prize is high - Who life would win, he must dare to die! [The curtain falls before the chorus has finished. Publication Date: May 21st 2008 https://www.bookrix.com/-bx.schiller

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Shante` Grayer Wait For It Wait For It Wait For It! (THIS CHAPTER WAS LAST UPDATED MAY 30TH, 2014 1:20PM)     Chapter 1: Taking it... My old man stumbles towards the kitchen, passing me in the dining room, making little to no effort of eye contact. I can tell he's still drunk off his ass from one of his infamous late night adventures. From the corner of my eye, I see him leaning against the door of the fridge struggling to keep his body up. He scans the fridge with his weary eyes, unable to find what he’s looking for. Then he shoots a piercing glare in my direction. “Hey! Hey boy, did you eat ma' steak?” “No, I didn't take your steak.” I answer trying to sound as respectful as possible. While keeping my head facing down trying not to look him in the eyes. My father coughs up a nasty death-inducing breath and slams the fridge door shut. He takes a step towards my direction rubbing his hard-to-open eyes, scratching his rusty beard then slamming one hand on the kitchen counter.   “You trying to be smart with me boy?” he asks. I ignore him and continue eating my breakfast because I want to avoid another incident and not repeat what happen last time. But my father wouldn't left that happen. I developed a theory that he needs a daily dose of conflict with me just to get through his day. “You answer me when I’m talking to you boy,” he says as he swipes his hand brushing items from the counter onto the kitchen floor, breaking whatever can be broken. I jump out of my seat with my fist clenched tight preparing for what might come. He stares me down with eyes wild and fiery, his fist flared and clutched tight, ready for a fight. But I say nothing, I simply stare ans wait for his move. “Now, I will ask you again boy. Did you…eat…ma’ steak?” “No,” I say with a crackle of fear in my voice followed with a gulp. I really didn't feel like fighting this morning, but it's not like I have the option to choose. I simply want one day to go by when home doesn’t feel like hell on earth. “There are only two people that live in this house. And I didn’t eat it, so it must have been you,” he says carefully articulating each word. “I didn't eat it. You came in late last night, as usual, and raided the fridge. You…you must have eaten it.” “Why you stuttering? It’s because you’re lying, isn’t. You ate my damn steak didn’t you? Don’t you lie to me boy.” “I didn’t -” He tosses the coffee maker glass at me shattering it against the wall as I duck. “You don’t get to eat in this house. Not when you eat my food and lie. But if you tell the truth, I'll forget about, and lets say I'll make you dinner tonight. How's that sound?” He says with a ****** grin. He's lying and I knew it. He's never made me dinner, at least not since I was about eight. He told me long ago that if I can walk and talk then I was old enough to make my own damn dinner. But that was a lie too. He simply was never home to actually make me any food. He was always out getting drunk and high or hanging around his thuggish friends. I knew what he was doing, even from a young age. I've seen much more that any kid should have. “I swear I didn't eat your steak. You came in last night and ate it, then you left." I repeated. “You probably don’t remember because you were so high last night.” I accidentally elevated my voice on that last comment. He yells, “You calling me an idiot, boy? You don’t think I’d remember something like that. How dare you disrespect me! I'm your father! Don’t you dare talk back to me!” “I’m not doing anything. I’m simply sitting here eating my breakfast. I was not arguing with you. You are the one who-” He throws an empty container at me, but misses. I didn't even have to duck that time because his aim was so bad. He stretches his hands out alongside the kitchen doorway and says with ***** annoyance, “You, you, you. That’s all I ever hear coming out of your damn mouth. You’re always blaming me for your problems. So shut your damn mouth and get you little ass to school before I get mad. I’ll deal with you when you get back.” I hold my tongue refraining from speaking out against my father. I'm wondering if I should be grateful he let me off easy this time. Usually, he'll throw a lot more things at me or we’ll partake in a shouting match; but luckily for me, this morning is one of those days when he was too drunk or high-as-hell to engage in any physical altercation. This time, all he is able to do is yell. So I grab my book bag and head out the door with haste and while burying anger. Walking down this same damn street every damn morning with this same damn pent up feelings is tiresome. I'm unsure how much more of this life I can take. Every day I feel my fists becoming closer to being permanently clenched from constantly preparing myself for another fight. As long as I live with my father this is where they'll remain after every interaction with that man. I see the school bus behind me about to turn the corner, so I book-it to the bus stop or else I'm walking for nearly an hour. I try to breathe controllably as I lean against the school bus stop pole. I can hear the kids on the bus screaming and yelling like maniacs as the bus draws near. I take the same seat about six rows down next to the window, I throw my backpack onto the floor below my seat and look out the window ignoring the usual rambunctious and ill-behave teenagers. Aside from the usual screaming at each other, some kids throw dry and wet paper balls, some sing as if their celebrities and others shout vulgarity trying to prove how "crunk" "tough" or "ghetto" they really are. Some sleep because of the wild nights they have the night before, but the rest are like me. We either sit quietly being unacknowledged by the crowd or get picked on by them. I'm lucky enough to be among the unacknowledged. After making a few more stops, a kid name Alexion boards the bus. He has his head face down with his hands gripped to his backpack tightly. He's the last kid to board, along with two other students, a girl and two boys. These two boys are the rowdiest of them all. Their presence reek trouble and havoc. The girl? Well, she's just a girl. She hardly ever rides the bus, but I do see her around school sometimes. Alexion usually sits anywhere anyone will allow him. Some kids don't let him sit by them, but sometimes when they do, it is usually a joke to mess with him. And today Alexion gets to sit next to me. He barely even looks at me when he asks if the seat is taken. I actually didn't even hear his question, but I know that's what he was trying to say. I figured since obnoxiously boisterious chick whom usually sits by me didn't come today, why not? After Alexion takes his seat, hear some of the kids moaning because I didn't join in on their little game of not giving him a seat. I'm actually the third person Alexion ask today. That's a record. He sits down with his face partially bury behind his backpack, which I noticed appeared to be new. But I didn't bother to give it a second thought. Getting off the bus everyday is chaos. Everyone is pushing and shoving and it's not because their eager to get off to learn, but because it's simply fun to shove one another. My school isn't in a poor neighborhood, the ghetto, the rich side or anything like that, but it is known for its violence and partying. There are almost about three fights or some kind of dramatic outbreak a week. It's always about the most trivial and typical teenage things anyone would come to expect. And the only reason I am aware of any of this is because since I'm so quiet and unnoticed at school, people tend to talk and gossip around me. It's like I'm a trapped in a ghost's body. At my locker, I witness lots of typical drama and today isn't any different. I caught wind of a couple breaking up, some nerd being tripped and a girl whispering to her best friend that she lost her virginity last night. It’s funny how much I learn about everyone else's life, but no one knows squat about mine. What's funny is the girl who's celebrating the loss of her virginity, lost it to the boy who is now breaking up with his girlfriend. I've seen them two together quite a few times. It doesn't take a genius to connect the dots. As usual, school is a bore. Nothing eventful happens, at least not to me. And my home life is unfortunately anything but boring. It seems the cards of life dealt to me are somehow tainted with permanent misfortune, and the dealer refuses to reshuffle the deck. At lunch I sit at a table flooded with mostly girls. We don't usually talk, but they are there. I really sit with this guy name Tylin who sits across from me. He's a pretty interesting character. He's loud, always excited, and pretty funny I must admit, but I will never tell him that. He chooses to sit at this table simply because he is determined to get a girlfriend before he graduates next year. Tylin is this really tall, dorky, skinny dude with a single chest hair that he is very proud of. He reminds me of it practically every day. "I am so close to asking Raina out, Chris. I can feel it, just a couple more run-ins and zing I got her hooked in my reigns," he says rubbing his hands together. "You say that everyday Tylin. Simply ask her out. I'm pretty sure by now she knows you're stalking her," I say. Tylin gives me a narrow look. "No she doesn't." I smile and take a bite of my burger. "I mean I'm not stalking her. I'm just letting myself stay close enough to her presence anonymously. That's different." "That is a fancy way to describe stalking," I tease him. "Whatever man. You're just jealous. At least I show some interest in girls or anything for that matter. You just sit there all day like a ghost. I don't want to be invisible. Just wait, once I get Raina to be my girlfriend, I'll be one of the guys who get an invitation to every huge party." I snicker at Tylin. "What makes you think that will happen? To my observation, Raina isn't even one of those party girl types. She is more of a, 'let’s stay up all night watching all eight movies of the Harry Potter series'”. "Don't make fun of her. She's perfect. Pure perfection." He awes. I sip my milk then reassure Tylin, "I’m not. I'm simply saying placing her on a pedestal that you manifest in your mind will disappoint you," "You're so odd, Chris. Who talks like that? I know you're a straight A student, but it's still weird." Tylin picks up his burger for a bite, then whispers to me, "Oh my god, Chris. It's Raina. Don't look, she's walking this way." I turn around. "No, don't look," Tylin says slapping the table. I turn back around and continue to drink my milk. "Alright, here's my chance. I'm going to talk to her again," Tylin says with confidence. Raina approaches our table walking with her tray. She smiles and waves beyond us to a table full of her friends. Tylin gets up with his tray in an attempt to 'coincidentally' walk into Raina. Tylin is so awkward, especially around girls he likes. He walks towards her direction as she pursues the opposite. He plays a short game of 'oops, I'll go left and you go right' with her. Tylin gleams and says, "Hi Raina. We have got to stop meeting like this. I'm starting to think this is fate." She stops walking, rolls her eyes and ask, "What do you want Tylin?" "Nothing, I…I just...we bumped into each other, so I thought I'd say hi." "Hi Tylin. Bye Tylin," she says walking around him rolling her eyes again. As she passes our table, she smiles at me and say, "Hi, Christopher." I give her a faint head nod and a light smile. She slowly begins to walk backwards and shouts, "Thanks for helping me with the biology test. I got a B+." "No problem," I answer back. She turns around and walks to sit with her friends. A few seconds later, I could hear her friends letting out a girlish scream. I continue drinking my milk as Tylin sits back down with his tray. He eyes narrowing once again. But this time it’s with piercing eyes of jealously. "She must really like you, huh," he says with focused envy. “Doubt it. I simply helped her with her biology test, nothing more. I didn’t really want to, but the teacher begged me to do it. She’s simply grateful is all.” Tylin begins to pout. "Whatever, I can tell she's not interested in me anyways." He says as he looks back at her. Tylin continuously speaks to me about his not-so love life problems. He even shares personal things with me. I don't understand why, I never do. However, there is always this part of me that really wants too. No other student at this school takes the time to get to know me, even though I hardly speak anyhow, back causing most to give up. Then again, if I were to stay silent for a complete hour, Tylin can carry the entire conversation all by himself. He is a huge chatterbox, except around pretty girls, jocks, teachers, authority figures and guys bigger than him; which is odd to say since I am in fact bigger than he is. I'm pretty tall, just not as tall as Tylin. My body is fit and mostly toned. But I have to be, in order to survive my fathers' wrath. I attempt to encourage Tylin. "She's interested Tylin. She's probably playing hard to get or something. You know...girls." "I hope so," he says as he continues to look at her...or shall I say stare.  *LEAVE A COMMENT OR REVIEW   Publication Date: May 30th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-miyukisawada24

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Nova Ame The Way It Hurt Me House Of Little Lies Chapter 1: My Lie I walked in the living room and saw Eli talking to my older brother,Tyler. "What is he doing here?" I was mad at Eli for kissing me at my party then not evan asking me about it but, I honestley think he was drunk. "Umm he is moving in tonight" Tyler told me "To bad he has no where to stay all 8 rooms are being used" I said with a smirk "actually, there is an extra bed in your room.All his stuff is allready up there" Tyler told me "Why dont you have a home?"i asked Eli "I got kicked out my mom has problems.."Eli said with a smirk i smiled "its ok if he touches you hes dead!" Tyler said i was so mad "Why my room cant he sleep in a guys room?!' I asked "There full." Tyler said "Fine!"I said as Jake walks down stairs "I'm going to MY room!" I said, I was so pissed."Cool down hottie" Jake says walking past me. I flinched my fist,then I was realy pissed and ran up stairs to my room and sat on my bed and cryed then Eli walked in and sat next to me. "Eli just go away" I said rubbing my eyes "No Nova, listen about the kiss it was nothing I mean it ment a lot......."I got up and started to walk away "Nova i think I love you" he said. "Well your to late" I told him "How?" he asked "umm, i'm dating Chris" i lied "i'm so sorry....can i kill him?" he asked with a smirk "no!" and walked out of the room. I walked in to Chris's room he was laying down with ear plugs in listining to music i walked up to him and shook him "Holy shit"he said as he jumped he took he ear plugs out "sup?" he asked "umm, hey you know how you always had a crush on me well how would you wanna pretend to date me?" I asked "umm, can we make out?"he asked "around Eli" I told him "sure,why not?" he said The next day me and Chris walk down stairs then I saw Eli I grabbed Chris's hand. We walked down stairs and sat on the couch "Hey babe, wanna go to the skate park" Chris asked, Eli rolled his eyes as if he could do better "sure" i said. Then i wispered in Chris's ear "kiss me" then i sat on his lap and he kissed me I think i like him his soft and sweet lips, his hard chest aginst mine, then Eli walked away. Then me and chris stoped kissing "Well...umm..wanna leave?" he asked I diddent i wanted to stay with his lips. "Yeah let me get my bored" i said and went to my room and got my skatebored when i came down stairs he had his then me and him road our boreds down there we met up with a bunch of his friends me and him sat on the ground "so are we doing this just to make Eli jelous?" he asked "No I kinda like you" I said he leaned in o kiss me i could feel him about to get closer i just barly got to touch his lip ring when this happens "aww how cute, get down here chirs" Trent said with a grin. i was gonna kill Trent. Chris looked at me "Go ahead," I said "kay" He said then walked over with his frends. Then some girl walks over and sits next to me "hey," she said "sup?" I said "Arent you Chris's girlfrend?" She asked "yeah I'm Nova and you are?" I asked " I'm Lissa Trevor's girl, aint he cute" she asked "umm, is that a trick questin?" I asked "ha, do you skate?" she asked " A little, you?" I asked "yeah some times" she replied. Chris came up to me "hey babe, you ready to go" Chirs asked me "bye Lissa" I said "bye" she said then me and Chirs skated home. Chapter 2: I'm moving in A few days later I walked in to Chris's room "Hey cutie, what do you wanna do today?" he asked i kissed him on the cheak "I dont know wanna talk?" I asked "Sure,what do wanna talk about?" He asked "what do you like about me?" I asked " your eyes, your sexy style, your emo......your eyes" he replied "you said that" I said "I ment it" He said and kissed me asked for entrance witch i granted then Jake walks in and says "Holy shit since when are you two dating?"He asked "A few days" i replied "and you to are already kissing on a bed Tyler is Gonna kill you thats why i wont date you any more, When we dated we olny kissed once" Jake said "Yeah thats why we wont date."i said sarcastic."We where 9, get over it" i said."Hey jake do you mind moving in with Eli?" Chris asked Jake "I dont care" Jake answered "I'm fine with it but we have to tell Tyler where dating?" I said "ok" Chris said "Chris your dead" Jake said.Then me and Chris walked down stairs we saw Tyler, he was sitting on the couch me and Chirs stood in frount of him "We have to tell ouse?" he asked "Sure but, I have to get a you some thing to tell you." I said "your dating its simple, going to the skate park, making out in the couch, just dont hurt her our ill hurt you!!!" Tyler said " I wouldnt ever hurt her" Chris said "And im moving in to his room" I said "I dont give a shit" Tyler said.Then me and Chris walked up stairs me and Chris spent the hole day taking all my stuff to chris's room.Then i sat on my bed "Thanks babe for helping me how can I repay you?" I asked "Kiss me?" he asked then he leaned in to kiss me we kissed for a while then we cuddled.The real point is i like him, the next day "babe,babe wake up!" he said shakeing me "what?" I asked "we have a backyard" he grined "No shit?" I asked "Can we go outside please, babe,please?"Chris begged "Let me get dressed" I said,Then a few minutes later me and Chris walked to our back yard me and him layed down I think love you" I said " I loved you since i've layed eyes on you in 1st grade" He said and rolled over then he kissed me.His Sweet lips our lip rings touching our toungs met half way and i felt a spark. I smirked "Soo what do you wanna do today?" I asked. "Wanna go to the old warehouse?" he asked "Sure but, I have to get a shower from laying in this grass" I said "ok i have to get one to Im ichey" He smirked "Ha, well Im gonna go get ready" I said then, I got up and walked away. Two hours later after my and Chris got ready, "Are you ready to go?" He asked "yeah" Then me and him walked to the old werehouse "Last time I was here I was sitting in that corner crying" I said "its ok" then he kissed me gentley on the lips "Nova,the real reason i wanted to come here is so that I could tell you some thing" "What?" I asked "I'm a werewolf." he said Chapter 3: Was it a Mistake then i started crying and ran home when i started to run i heard "Nova Wait, I Love you." Once i got home my brother was staring at me like i was insane.I ran up stairs and went into our room i sat on his bed mistakin' it for mine i just cryed. Then my twin sister walked in "hey have you seen the.....oh my god Nova whats wrong?" Valery asked "I..I..I..mmm soo stupid!" i said breathing hard throuhout each word. I wiped my tears that dripped down my face "now tell me whats wrong" she damanded "Chris is a Werewolf and i am a Vampire its not ment to be!”i said “Nova your not a vampire yet we still have 4 years untill the scermony” Valery said “your right umm let me talk to chris bye sis i love you...”i said a few hours later Chris walks in and sits down next to me.”are you ok?” he said and rubbed my hand.”yes but,no i have to turn in to a vampire in a few years and like you way to much hate you.” i said “its ok maby only you’re sister and brother have to.”he said “thats not possable” i said. “Not if you turn in to a werewolf.” he said with a smirk “when im 18 i have to find my mate i could turn you werewolf before then you could be my mate on my birthday.” He said “ok but not yet in a few weaks. okay.?”i said “okay!” he said “i love you so much i do i realy want you to know.” he said “i love you to” i said.The next day i walked down stairs with my earplugs in listing to Falling In Reverse singing the song "Good Girls Bad Boys" then tripped over Jake's shoe then Eli catches me. He looked in to my eyes i was a little creeped out he leaned in to kiss me."Umm what are you doing?" i asked "about to kiss you why?" he said "Let me go!"i Damanded "no" He said and held me tighter.Then Chris walks down stairs "Get off her now" Chris said and jumped toward him. Chris grabbed me by my hips and kissed me and pushed his tongue in to my mouth."She's mine!" Chris said "if you do that agian i wont be yours" i said "Burn" Eli said "Go Away" me and Chris both said and me and him walked in to the kitchen. He started making coffee "Im sorry i just dont want any one touching my one thing i care about in my life Nova, is that to much to ask?" he said looking at the ground i walked up to him and he put his arms around my waist and i put my arms around his neck and played with his hair. he leaned in to kiss me and licked my bottem lips asking for entrance witch i granted. Then our tongues met half way.And 'DING!!!!!!!!!' the stupid coffee maker rang i jumped and bit his lip "sorry" i said Publication Date: December 1st 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-ducky242

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-smartcookie-how-i-met-my-older-brother/

Smartcookie How I met My older brother It all started on a sunday morning when I met my brother. ....But I don't have a brother, at least I don't think. Hi, I'm Ty your older brother, I've come here to reunite with you little sister. "Huh" But..But... I dont' have any siblings so how could you be my brother?"Mom, come down stairs someone here clames to my older brither." (Okay Star) "Ty!, it's you it's been so long it feels like I have waited for years." "Mom, you know him" "Yes, he's your half brother, you have the same mom of course and different dad's." Why didn't yu tell me I had a brother well when he was born one year earler than you his dad divorced me and then moved away and took him and then I met your dad and thought it would be best if you didn't find out until later. (Ty) places hand on little sisters head. "So what have you been up to little sis." Don't call me that my name is Star and how can you be so calm aren't you mad. No not really, dad told me I had a little sister when I was only eight years old so I already knew about you. "And mom you decided not to tell be about him" I had my reasons Star, I thought it would have hurt you so I kept it between us. Oh that reminds Star Ty will be staying with us for now on, his dad got married and he doesn't want to live a life with that lady as his mother so looks like you two can catch up and learn some things about each other. "Ugh this is going to be along summer, I can already tell" Next Morning (Ty) wake up sleepy head! "What are you doing in my room it's Saturday and it's only eight 0'clock in the morning. I know but mom said to go and get some food from the store and I have decided to go with you because I don't know where to go. "Ugh, I don't want to I'm sleepy" (Ty)Tugs on her cover, yank. "Ah, put me down I don't want to go! put me down now. Nope not until you say you'll go with me. O-Okay. (door)Ding Dong. Welcome, nice two meet you noth if you need help with anything just ask us. So ty what do we need to buy. I don't know? "TY what do you mean you don't know" That's why I made you come with me. "Okay Ty what's your favortie snack to eat" Um, starberry gobsters. "Huh" Is there something wrong with that kind of snack. "Um no it's just that I like them too. (Ty)smiles. Looks like we have something in common little sis or should I say star. "Yeah, okay that's about everything let's go home." "Mom, were home." Okay I'll be cooking dinner" I'm going to watch tv in the living room. "Okay Ty." (Star) looks at Ty. "Maybe it want be so bad having an older brother like ty. Hey short stuff where's the remote control! "What did you call me Ty!" You heard me short stuuff. Get off your lazy butt and change the channel Ty! (Ty) looks at star and giggles, then to the kitchen. hey mom did you know that Star has a broken instrument i n her room that probably cost you a lot of money! What Ty I can't hear you say it again. "Mom he just we love you so much" "Ty you when I'll get you the remote control" "After all it might not be so great having an older brother after all but it's sitll great to have someone to argue with like him." (star) Giggles. "Maybe you are my older brother after all Ty." (Ty)laughs with Star. "And that's how I met my oldr brother. Publication Date: November 11th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-smartcookie

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-lillian-j-hudson-seeing-the-world/

Lillian J. Hudson Seeing The World I dedicate this to my family and friends. Thank you. xoxo The Way It Is My name is E'liane Rosemary. I am 14 years old. In the confines of my world, I wonder. I wonder about the world outside. Where it is not protected. Where things like smog, cars, wars, planes, and diseases exist. Its a funny sight, the outside of the dome. From my point of view, its black. And greasy. They say its from the cemicals the others put into the air. They say never to trust an other. Unless they live here and do not talk kindly on there former home. Our dome is huge. If I believed this to be accurate, I'd say its the size of China. Thats what the teachers say. But I've never been outside of my world and I have no idea what the size of China is. I probably never will. Unless I get out... But that is quite unlikely. Teachers say we are lucky to live inside the dome. The air is clean, we are safe, we are healthy, we have a better life than the others, etc... But how can i believe them when I don't know how the others live? I mean, the few others that live here are forbidden to talk of their lives outside of the dome. I always wonder why. I wonder so much... Too much. Too much for my own good. If they knew... My mother and father were others. They have books from the outside world. The books make we wonder. I am not aloud to read the books. It didn't stop me. My mother and father always ground me when I ask about the other world... I wonder why. Why so many rules? Why not cars or planes? Why no smog or war? All the books say war is bad. That it kills people. Many many people. Like World War 2 was a genocide. Because they killed millions of innocent people. But that was long, long ago... The books also say smog is bad. Dangerous to our health, as humans. Dangerous to our bodies. They say planes and cars and factories cause smog. So, they cause the damage to out health. But those books are old. Older than the dome and believe me, the dome is old. The books sometimes talk about the dome. The newer one, from my parents time. They make me feel sad sometimes. Confused. The books say we are trapped. Others say we are safe. I say I want to know for my own. School Everyday except for Saturday and Sunday, we go to school or work. Right now, I'm still in my school phase. Mother and father always say school here is a lot like school in the other world, except more filtered. What are they hiding us from? I want to know about the world. I don't want to be lied to. And I always feel as if I am. Anyway, school is easy. Mostly boring, but I'm a straight A student and I have a lot of good friends. Many of them don't know my knowledge of the outside world. Many of them don't know my desire to see it. In fact, only one knows. Hes my best friend. He has been since we were born. Same hospital, same day, same hour, same year. 3 minutes apart. Our parents both came from the other world and were very best friends when they lived there. So, by design, we just had to be inseperable. And we are. Anyway, Leonell and I share the same dream. To see the world around us. We both have an extensive knowledge of that world, far greater than anyone in the school. The government must have more knowledge than us, of course. But the officials don't usually come out, and when they do, it means something bad. Back to the main topic: School. I go to Secoran High School, named after our founder. I went to Angelique Middle School, after his daughter, and Aiden Elementary, after his son. When I go to college, it'll be Kordavine University. That one is for his wife. Once a year, Secoran comes out to tell our people who has passed, how many people will be let into our area, how many people can travel out (this is usually very few), and how many people will be living here at the end of December. The yearly visit is pretty soon. This is the first time Leonell and I will go. We are in 9th grade. The "initiation" age. This will be our first glimpse into politics. But we know so much because of our parents. They had broadcasts from here showing our polictics in the other world. We've seen them all. But our parents burned the tapes eventually. Just like how in a few months, the books will burn. The government cannot know of our knowledge. Or our dreams. One day, they won't stop me. One day, I'll be free. The Yearly Visit We gather in the hot auditorium for the first time and take our assigned seats. I'm awful far from Leonell. Yet, I am near my parents, and my good friend Dannielle. The chatter in the room is deafening. I see Secoran walk up to his podium. He fixes his tie and... "Silence! Silence please." You could now hear a pin drop. "December, the month of travel, is near. About a week from now. It is time to welcome children and newcomers. It is also time to say goodbye to the fallen, the criminals, and the ones who wish wholeheartedly to leave. This is a happy yet sad time. First, the death toll." People chatter quietly, but Secoran yells again, so they all shut up. I look wistfully at my parents. "This year, 30 people have gone. 17 males and 13 females. 89% of deaths were of old age. The other 11% were those under 25. We will miss each and every member of our community that has passed. 20 people will be leaving because of criminal acts. 8 female, 12 male. All of them were over 25. Now, for the willing travelers. This year we are letting out 2 people. One male, one female. So, in total, we have 52 open spots for newcomers and children. "We now welcome the 33 new children into our community. 20 female, 13 male. 91% of families in our community now have reached the permitted amount of children. 9% may have one or two children. Publication Date: September 12th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-lillianthereader

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-stevie-goodman-bad-reputation/

Stevie Goodman Bad Reputation Bad Reputation? “Miss Goodman.” The secretary said, “The principal can see you now.” I stood up my heart racing, I should not even be here, It wasn’t even my fault. “So Miss Goodman.” The principal started, “ Tell me what happened.” “Well, it all started in in PE the other day. PE was always boring, I was not really athletic. I was dressed out in my baggie uniform, and had my hair pulled back into  a bun. “Ok, today we are starting our volleyball unit.” Coach Sukle announced. I let out  a sigh of relief, finally something I was sort of good at. We separated into small groups and started playing unsuccessful games of volleyball. The first few groups were uneventful, until my group switched to face a group of people I could not stand. Mainly Jayden; the brunette girl that consisted of perfection. Every guy in the school bowed down to her. During a bit of confusion, she hit the ball over the net. My volleyball reactions kicked in and I returned it. She turned her back to the net and did not see the ball coming. It flew over the net hitting Jayden on the top of her head. She turned around with a glare in her eyes. “We were not even playing!” “You hit it first.” I said. “That does not give you the right to hit me, bitch!” “What did you call me?” “Bitch!” She yelled, “exactly what you are!” That was it, I had, had it. I walked up to Jayden and punched her in the nose. She returned with a slap, before I knew it, we were on the ground ripping out hair, and busting teeth. Before long there was a group of people around us, chanting. “Fight, fight, fight.” They yelled. The myriad of peoples voices echoed through the gym, and Coach came running over. When he finally separated the crowd, I was sitting on top of Jayden, punching back and forth as she tried to claw me off of her. Coach rushed in and pulled me off of her. Tears rushed down my face as Jayden lay in a pool of blood on the gym floor. That is how I ended up with a black eye, a one week suspension, and a reputation that would last me the rest of high school. That is also when I decided there was not enough room in this high school for the both of us. Suspension was great, a week off of school, the only bad part was the homework. Hours and hours of homework. Oh ya and my parents. For some reason, they could not see that I had a right to hit her, that she started it first. So along with suspension, I was also grounded. No phone, no laptop (unless it for school), and no friends. I was scared for monday, the day I go back to school. I wondered how the other students would react. Would they honor me, would they hate me, I didn’t have the slightest clue. The morning I was to return to school, it was monday. My alarm clock blaired beep beep beep beep. I hit the snoze button and rolled over. I didn’t really have to go to school did I. A few minutes later my mom stomped down the stairs, and threw the door to my room open. “Stevie get up, it’s seven o’clock you’re going to be late!”’ She yelled. She ripped my blankets off. I rolled over again and moaned. “I don’t feel good I can’t do to school.” I said. She looked at me with harsh eyes. “Bologna, now get out of bed before I go get your father.” She said. She grabbed my arm and began to pull me out of my bed. I groaned. “Okay, Okay I’ll get up.” I said. I pulled myself out of bed and yawned. I rubbed my eyes, and stumbled across the room to my closet. I pulled a pair of jeans, and a dr.who t-shirt. I  brushed my hair into a ponytail, and trudged up the stairs into the kitchen. My breakfast was on the table, I sat down, and started to shovel the eggs into my mouth. My mom stared at me from across the island. “If you’re late, i'm not signing you a pass.” She said. I finished off my eggs and walked across the kitchen to grab my converse. I shoved my toes into the ends, threw my backpack over my shoulder and waddled into the garage. “What car?” I yelled into the house. “The toyota.” My mom yelled back. I climbed into the passenger seat, as my mom walked through the garage door, with her two thermoses of coffee. She got into the car and pulled out. By the time I got into school it was about two minutes to the bell. I slid into my seat in french thirty seconds before the bell. “Nice to see you back.” Mr. Richie said. I could feel the burn of his sarcasm. The class giggled. So far not so good, I thought. I slid down into my seat, and worked on the war up. Up until lunch, everything was pretty quiet. No one really talked to me, but that wasn't unusual. As I walked down into the lunch room, it fell silent. The only sound, was a few stray whispers. As I walked towards my table, I could feel the eyes of others following me. I slid into my seat and turned towards Doug. “Whats going on?” I asked. “They all know what happened between you and Jayden, they are afraid.” He said. I looked around the room.Every Time I would try to make eye contact the person would turn away. I sighed, that was not exactly what I wanted.Sure I wanted respect, but not out of fear. My friend’s and I broke the silence with our conversations and laughs. Eventually the conversations in the lunchroom returned to normal. I was relieved. The first day back, wasn’t to bad. There were no more incidents the rest of the day, but it wasn't really today that I was dreading. It was tomorrow when I had to face Jayden again in PE. The next morning’s routine was the same, except I was late. Contrary to my mothers threats, she still signed my late pass. I ran up to my math class on the top floor. I could barely pay attention. My stomach was churning in anticipation of the next class; PE. I sat and fidgeted with my pencil. Maddy; my friend that sat next to me, gave me a strange look. “You okay?” She asked. I nodded my head as I rocked back and forth in my seat. She looked unsatisfied, but she left me alone. For my life I could not remember what we learned that day, so I shoved my homework into my backpack, and vowed to finish it later. I quietly sat in my seat and doodled for the rest of class. Before I knew it I heard the dreaded bell, signifying the end of first period. I hesitantly got out of my seat and trudged down the stairs. When I made it into the locker room, I noticed something odd. Jayden, was by herself. She was not surrounded by her little possy. In Fact they were no where in site. I quickly changed without getting near Jayden. When I emerged from the locker room, several girls surrounded me, tossing compliments at me. I took me a few seconds to realize who they were. It was Jaydens minions. They were no longer Jayden’s, they were now mine. I didn’t understand, why would they come to me. These girls flocked to popularity, like butterflies to a carcass. Then it hit me, I had taken her place, as queen of the school. My stomach felt queasy. I had always thought I wanted that, but now I wasn’t sure anymore. Was it really that great. I turned to look at Jaden. She was standing alone in the corner. That was such odd sight to me. I thought about walking over to her, talking to her, to make her feel better. Then I thought about everything she had done to me. The rumors,the hurtful comments. I pushed my way through the crowd of girls and approached her with sympathetic eyes. “Jayden.” I said. She looked up at me. I put my hand on her shoulder. “Karma’s a bitch isn't it. “ I said with a crooked smile, and walked away. Publication Date: April 15th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-estel.g

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-george-macdonald-stephen-archer-and-other-tales/

George MacDonald Stephen Archer and Other Tales CONTENTS. STEPHEN ARCHER THE GIFTS OF THE CHILD CHRIST THE HISTORY OF PHOTOGEN AND NYCTERIS THE BUTCHER'S BILLS POET IN A STORM IF I HAD A FATHER STEPHEN ARCHER Stephen Archer was a stationer, bookseller, and newsmonger in one of the suburbs of London. The newspapers hung in a sort of rack at his door, as if for the convenience of the public to help themselves in passing. On his counter lay penny weeklies and books coming out in parts, amongst which the Family Herald was in force, and the London Journal not to be found. I had occasion once to try the extent of his stock, for I required a good many copies of one of Shakspere's plays-at a penny, if I could find such. He shook his head, and told me he could not encourage the sale of such productions. This pleased me; for, although it was of little consequence what he thought concerning Shakspere, it was of the utmost import that he should prefer principle to pence. So I loitered in the shop, looking for something to buy; but there was nothing in the way of literature: his whole stock, as far as I could see, consisted of little religious volumes of gay binding and inferior print; he had nothing even from the Halifax press. He was a good-looking fellow, about thirty, with dark eyes, overhanging brows that indicated thought, mouth of character, and no smile. I was interested in him. I asked if he would mind getting the plays I wanted. He said he would rather not. I bade him good morning. More than a year after, I saw him again. I had passed his shop many times, but this morning, I forget why, I went in. I could hardly recall the former appearance of the man, so was it swallowed up in a new expression. His face was alive, and his behaviour courteous. A similar change had passed upon his stock. There was Punch and Fun amongst the papers, and tenpenny Shaksperes on the counter, printed on straw-paper, with ugly wood-cuts. The former class of publications had not vanished, but was mingled with cheap editions of some worthy of being called books. "I see you have changed your mind since I saw you last," I said. "You have the advantage of me, sir," he returned. "I did not know you were a customer." "Not much of that," I replied; "only in intention. I wanted you to get me some penny Shaksperes, and you would not take the order." "Oh! I think I remember," he answered, with just a trace of confusion; adding, with a smile, "I'm married now;" and I fancied I could read a sort of triumph over his former self. I laughed, of course-the best expression of sympathy at hand-and, after a little talk, left the shop, resolved to look in again soon. Before a month was over, I had made the acquaintance of his wife too, and between them learned so much of their history as to be able to give the following particulars concerning it. Stephen Archer was one of the deacons, rather a young one perhaps, of a dissenting congregation. The chapel was one of the oldest in the neighbourhood, quite triumphant in ugliness, but possessed of a history which gave it high rank with those who frequented it. The sacred odour of the names of pastors who had occupied its pulpit, lingered about its walls-names unknown beyond its precincts, but starry in the eyes of those whose world lay within its tabernacle. People generally do not know what a power some of these small conventicles are in the education of the world. If only as an outlet for the energies of men of lowly education and position, who in connexion with most of the churches of the Establishment would find no employment, they are of inestimable value. To Stephen Archer, for instance, when I saw him first, his chapel was the sole door out of the common world into the infinite. When he entered, as certainly did the awe and the hush of the sacred place overshadow his spirit as if it had been a gorgeous cathedral-house borne aloft upon the joined palms of its Gothic arches. The Master is truer than men think, and the power of His presence, as Browning has so well set forth in his "Christmas Eve," is where two or three are gathered in His name. And inasmuch as Stephen was not a man of imagination, he had the greater need of the undefined influences of the place. He had been chief in establishing a small mission amongst the poor in the neighbourhood, with the working of which he occupied the greater part of his spare time. I will not venture to assert that his mind was pure from the ambition of gathering from these to swell the flock at the little chapel; nay, I will not even assert that there never arose a suggestion of the enemy that the pence of these rescued brands might alleviate the burden upon the heads and shoulders of the poorly prosperous caryatids of his church; but I do say that Stephen was an honest man in the main, ever ready to grow honester: and who can demand more? One evening, as he was putting up the shutters of his window, his attention was arrested by a shuffling behind him. Glancing round, he set down the shutter, and the next instant boxed a boy's ears, who ran away howling and mildly excavating his eyeballs, while a young, pale-faced woman, with the largest black eyes he had ever seen, expostulated with him on the proceeding. "Oh, sir!" she said, "he wasn't troubling you." There was a touch of indignation in the tone. "I'm sorry I can't return the compliment," said Stephen, rather illogically. "If I'd ha' known you liked to have your shins kicked, I might ha' let the young rascal alone. But you see I didn't know it." "He's my brother," said the young woman, conclusively. "The more shame to him," returned Stephen. "If he'd been your husband, now, there might ha' been more harm than good in interferin', 'cause he'd only give it you the worse after; but brothers! Well, I'm sure it's a pity I interfered." "I don't see the difference," she retorted, still with offence. "I beg your pardon, then," said Stephen. "I promise you I won't interfere next time." So saying, he turned, took up his shutter, and proceeded to close his shop. The young woman walked on. Stephen gave an inward growl or two at the depravity of human nature, and set out to make his usual visits; but before he reached the place, he had begun to doubt whether the old Adam had not overcome him in the matter of boxing the boy's ears; and the following interviews appeared in consequence less satisfactory than usual. Disappointed with himself, he could not be so hopeful about others. As he was descending a stair so narrow that it was only just possible for two people to pass, he met the same young woman ascending. Glad of the opportunity, he stepped aside with his best manners and said: "I am sorry I offended you this evening. I did not know that the boy was your brother." "Oh, sir!" she returned-for to one in her position, Stephen Archer was a gentleman: had he not a shop of his own?-"you didn't hurt him much; only I'm so anxious to save him." "To be sure," returned Stephen, "that is the one thing needful." "Yes, sir," she rejoined. "I try hard, but boys will be boys." "There is but one way, you know," said Stephen, following the words with a certain formula which I will not repeat. The girl stared. "I don't know about that," she said. "What I want is to keep him out of prison. Sometimes I think I shan't be able long. Oh, sir! if you be the gentleman that goes about here, couldn't you help me? I can't get anything for him to do, and I can't be at home to look after him." "What is he about all day, then?" "The streets," she answered. "I don't know as he's ever done anything he oughtn't to, but he came home once in a fright, and that breathless with running, that I thought he'd ha' fainted. If I only could get him into a place!" "Do you live here?" he asked. "Yes, sir; I do." At the moment a half-bestial sound below, accompanied by uncertain footsteps, announced the arrival of a drunken bricklayer. "There's Joe Bradley," she said, in some alarm. "Come into my room, sir, till he's gone up; there's no harm in him when he's sober, but he ain't been sober for a week now." Stephen obeyed; and she, taking a key from her pocket, and unlocking a door on the landing, led him into a room to which his back-parlour was a paradise. She offered him the only chair in the room, and took her place on the edge of the bed, which showed a clean but much-worn patchwork quilt. Charley slept on the bed, and she on a shake-down in the corner. The room was not untidy, though the walls and floor were not clean; indeed there were not in it articles enough to make it untidy withal. "Where do you go on Sundays?" asked Stephen. "Nowheres. I ain't got nobody," she added, with a smile, "to take me nowheres." "What do you do then?" "I've plenty to do mending of Charley's trousers. You see they're only shoddy, and as fast as I patch 'em in one place they're out in another." "But you oughtn't to work Sundays." "I have heard tell of people as say you oughtn't to work of a Sunday; but where's the differ when you've got a brother to look after? He ain't got no mother." "But you're breaking the fourth commandment; and you know where people go that do that. You believe in hell, I suppose." "I always thought that was a bad word." "To be sure! But it's where you'll go if you break the Sabbath." "Oh, sir!" she said, bursting into tears, "I don't care what become of me if I could only save that boy." "What do you mean by saving him?" "Keep him out of prison, to be sure. I shouldn't mind the workus myself, if I could get him into a place." A place was her heaven, a prison her hell. Stephen looked at her more attentively. No one who merely glanced at her could help seeing her eyes first, and no one who regarded them could help thinking her nice-looking at least, all in a shabby cotton dress and black shawl as she was. It was only the "penury and pine" that kept her from being beautiful. Her features were both regular and delicate, with an anxious mystery about the thin tremulous lips, and a beseeching look, like that of an animal, in her fine eyes, hazy with the trouble that haunted her mouth. Stephen had the good sense not to press the Sabbath question, and by degrees drew her story from her. Her father had been a watchmaker, but, giving way to drink, had been, as far back as she could remember, entirely dependent on her mother, who by charing and jobbing managed to keep the family alive. Sara was then the only child, but, within a few months after her father's death, her mother died in giving birth to the boy. With her last breath she had commended him to his sister. Sara had brought him up-how she hardly knew. He had been everything to her. The child that her mother had given her was all her thought. Those who start with the idea "that people with nought are naughty," whose eyes are offended by rags, whose ears cannot distinguish between vulgarity and wickedness, and who think the first duty is care for self, must be excused from believing that Sara Coulter passed through all that had been decreed for her without losing her simplicity and purity. But God is in the back slums as certainly as-perhaps to some eyes more evidently than-in Belgravia. That which was the burden of her life-namely, the care of her brother-was her salvation. After hearing her story, which he had to draw from her, because she had no impulse to talk about herself, Stephen went home to turn the matter over in his mind. The next Sunday, after he had had his dinner, he went out into the same region, and found himself at Sara's door. She was busy over a garment of Charley's, who was sitting on the bed with half a loaf in his hand. When he recognized Stephen he jumped down, and would have rushed from the room; but changing his mind, possibly because of the condition of his lower limbs, he turned, and springing into the bed, scrambled under the counterpane, and drew it over his head. "I am sorry to see you working on Sunday," Stephen said, with an emphasis that referred to their previous conversation. "You would not have the boy go naked?" she returned, with again a touch of indignation. She had been thinking how easily a man of Stephen's social position could get him a place if he would. Then recollecting her manners, she added, "I should get him better clothes if he had a place. Wouldn't you like to get a place now, Charley?" "Yes," said Charley, from under the counterpane, and began to peep at the visitor. He was not an ill-looking boy-only roguish to a degree. His eyes, as black as his sister's, but only half as big, danced and twinkled with mischief. Archer would have taken him off to his ragged class, but even of rags he had not at the moment the complement necessary for admittance. He left them, therefore, with a few commonplaces of religious phrase, falling utterly meaningless. But he was not one to confine his ministrations to words: he was an honest man. Before the next Sunday it was clear to him that he could do nothing for the soul of Sara until he had taken the weight of her brother off it. When he called the next Sunday the same vision precisely met his view. She might have been sitting there ever since, with those wonderfully-patched trousers in her hands, and the boy beside her, gnawing at his lump of bread. But many a long seam had passed through her fingers since then, for she worked at a clothes-shop all the week with the sewing-machine, whence arose the possibility of patching Charley's clothes, for the overseer granted her a cutting or two now and then. After a little chat, Stephen put the question: "If I find a place for Charley, will you go to Providence Chapel next Sunday?" "I will go anywhere you please, Mr. Archer," she answered, looking up quickly with a flushed face. She would have accompanied him to any casino in London just as readily: her sole thought was to keep Charley out of prison. Her father had been in prison once; to keep her mother's child out of prison was the grand object of her life. "Well," he resumed, with some hesitation, for he had arrived at the resolution through difficulties, whose fogs yet lingered about him, "if he will be an honest, careful boy, I will take him myself." "Charley! Charley!" cried Sara, utterly neglectful of the source of the benefaction; and rising, she went to the bed and hugged him. "Don't, Sara!" said Charley, petulantly. "I don't want girls to squash me. Leave go, I say. You mend my trousers, and I 'll take care of my self." "The little wretch!" thought Stephen. Sara returned to her seat, and her needle went almost as fast as her sewing-machine. A glow had arisen now, and rested on her pale cheek: Stephen found himself staring at a kind of transfiguration, back from the ghostly to the human. His admiration extended itself to her deft and slender fingers and there brooded until his conscience informed him that he was actually admiring the breaking of the Sabbath; whereupon he rose. But all the time he was about amongst the rest of his people, his thoughts kept wandering back to the desolate room, the thankless boy, and the ministering woman. Before leaving, however, he had arranged with Sara that she should bring her brother to the shop the next day. The awe with which she entered it was not shared by Charley, who was never ripe for anything but frolic. Had not Stephen been influenced by a desire to do good, and possibly by another feeling too embryonic for detection, he would never have dreamed of making an errand boy of a will-o'-the-wisp. As such, however, he was installed, and from that moment an anxiety unknown before took possession of Stephen's bosom. He was never at ease, for he never knew what the boy might be about. He would have parted with him the first fortnight, but the idea of the prison had passed from Sara's heart into his, and he saw that to turn the boy away from his first place would be to accelerate his gravitation thitherward. He had all the tricks of a newspaper boy indigenous in him. Repeated were the complaints brought to the shop. One time the paper was thrown down the area, and brought into the breakfast-room defiled with wet. At another it was found on the door-step, without the bell having been rung, which could hardly have been from forgetfulness, for Charley's delight was to set the bell ringing furiously, and then wait till the cook appeared, taking good care however to leave space between them for a start. Sometimes the paper was not delivered at all, and Stephen could not help suspecting that he had sold it in the street. Yet both for his sake and Sara's he endured, and did not even box his ears. The boy hardly seemed to be wicked: the spirit that possessed him was rather a polter-geist , as the Germans would call it, than a demon. Meantime, the Sunday after Charley's appointment, Archer, seated in his pew, searched all the chapel for the fulfilment of Sara's part of the agreement, namely, her presence. But he could see her nowhere. The fact was, her promise was so easy that she had scarcely thought of it after, not suspecting that Stephen laid any stress upon its fulfilment, and, indeed, not knowing where the chapel was. She had managed to buy a hit of something of the shoddy species, and while Stephen was looking for her in the chapel, she was making a jacket for Charley. Greatly disappointed, and chiefly, I do believe, that she had not kept her word, Stephen went in the afternoon to call upon her. He found her working away as before, and saving time by taking her dinner while she worked, for a piece of bread lay on the table by her elbow, and beside it a little brown sugar to make the bread go down. The sight went to Stephen's heart, for he had just made his dinner off baked mutton and potatoes, washed down with his half-pint of stout. "Sara!" he said solemnly, "you promised to come to our chapel, and you have not kept your word." He never thought that "our chapel" was not the landmark of the region. "Oh, Mr. Archer," she answered, "I didn't know as you cared about it. But," she went on, rising and pushing her bread on one side to make room for her work, "I'll put on my bonnet directly." Then she checked herself, and added, "Oh! I beg your pardon, sir-I'm so shabby! You couldn't be seen with the likes of me." It touched Stephen's chivalry-and something deeper than chivalry. He had had no intention of walking with her. "There's no chapel in the afternoon," he said; "but I'll come and fetch you in the evening." Thus it came about that Sara was seated in Stephen's pew, next to Stephen himself, and Stephen felt a strange pleasure unknown before, like that of the shepherd who having brought the stray back to the fold cares little that its wool is torn by the bushes, and it looks a ragged and disreputable sheep. It was only Sara's wool that might seem disreputable, for she was a very good-faced sheep. He found the hymns for her, and they shared the same book. He did not know then that Sara could not read a word of them. The gathered people, the stillness, the gaslights, the solemn ascent of the minister into the pulpit, the hearty singing of the congregation, doubtless had their effect upon Sara, for she had never been to a chapel and hardly to any place of assembly before. From all amusements, the burden of Charley and her own retiring nature had kept her back. But she could make nothing of the sermon. She confessed afterwards that she did not know she had anything to do with it. Like "the Northern Farmer," she took it all for the clergyman's business, which she amongst the rest had to see done. She did not even wonder why Stephen should have wanted to bring her there. She sat when other people sat, pretended to kneel when other people pretended to kneel, and stood up when other people stood up-still brooding upon Charley's jacket. But Archer's feelings were not those he had expected. He had brought her, intending her to be done good to; but before the sermon was over he wished he had not brought her. He resisted the feeling for a long time, but at length yielded to it entirely; the object of his solicitude all the while conscious only of the lighted stillness and the new barrier between Charley and Newgate. The fact with regard to Stephen was that a certain hard pan , occasioned by continual ploughings to the same depth and no deeper, in the soil of his mind, began this night to be broken up from within, and that through the presence of a young woman who did not for herself put together two words of the whole discourse. The pastor was preaching upon the saying of St. Paul, that he could wish himself accursed from Christ for his brethren. Great part of his sermon was an attempt to prove that he could not have meant what his words implied. For the preacher's mind was so filled with the supposed paramount duty of saving his own soul, that the enthusiasm of the Apostle was simply incredible. Listening with that woman by his side, Stephen for the first time grew doubtful of the wisdom of his pastor. Nor could he endure that such should be the first doctrine Sara heard from his lips. Thus was he already and grandly repaid for his kindness; for the presence of a woman who without any conscious religion was to herself a law of love, brought him so far into sympathy with the mighty soul of St. Paul, that from that moment the blessing of doubt was at work in his, undermining prison walls. He walked home with Sara almost in silence, for he found it impossible to impress upon her those parts of the sermon with which he had no fault to find, lest she should retort upon that one point. The arrows which Sara escaped, however, could from her ignorance have struck her only with their feather end. Things proceeded in much the same fashion for a while. Charley went home at night to his sister's lodging, generally more than two hours after leaving the shop, but gave her no new ground of complaint. Every Sunday evening Sara went to the chapel, taking Charley with her when she could persuade him to go; and, in obedience with the supposed wish of Stephen, sat in his pew. He did not go home with her any more for a while, and indeed visited her but seldom, anxious to avoid scandal, more especially as he was a deacon. But now that Charley was so far safe, Sara's cheek began to generate a little of that celestial rosy red which is the blossom of the woman-plant, although after all it hardly equalled the heart of the blush rose. She grew a little rounder in form too, for she lived rather better now,-buying herself a rasher of bacon twice a week. Hence she began to be in more danger, as any one acquainted with her surroundings will easily comprehend. But what seemed at first the ruin of her hopes dissipated this danger. One evening, when she returned from her work, she found Stephen in her room. She made him the submissive grateful salutation, half courtesy, half bow, with which she always greeted him, and awaited his will. "I am very sorry to have to tell you, Sara, that your brother-" She turned white as a shroud, and her great black eyes grew greater and blacker as she stared in agonized expectancy while Stephen hesitated in search of a better form of communication. Finding none, he blurted out the fact- "-has robbed me, and run away." "Don't send him to prison, Mr. Archer," shrieked Sara, and laid herself on the floor at his feet with a grovelling motion, as if striving with her mother earth for comfort. There was not a film of art in this. She had never been to a theatre. The natural urging of life gave the truest shape to her entreaty. Her posture was the result of the same feeling which made the nations of old bring their sacrifices to the altar of a deity who, possibly benevolent in the main, had yet cause to be inimical to them. From the prostrate living sacrifice arose the one prayer, "Don't send him to prison; don't send him to prison!" Stephen gazed at her in bewildered admiration, half divine and all human. A certain consciousness of power had, I confess, a part in his silence, but the only definite shape this consciousness took was of beneficence. Attributing his silence to unwillingness, Sara got half-way from the ground-that is, to her knees-and lifted a face of utter entreaty to the sight of Stephen. I will not say words fail me to describe the intensity of its prayer, for words fail me to describe the commonest phenomenon of nature: all I can is to say, that it made Stephen's heart too large for its confining walls. "Mr. Archer," she said, in a voice hollow with emotion, "I will do anything you like. I will be your slave. Don't send Charley to prison." The words were spoken with a certain strange dignity of self-abnegation. It is not alone the country people of Cumberland or of Scotland, who in their highest moments are capable of poetic utterance. An indescribable thrill of conscious delight shot through the frame of Stephen as the woman spoke the words. But the gentleman in him triumphed. I would have said the Christian , for whatever there was in Stephen of the gentle was there in virtue of the Christian , only he failed in one point: instead of saying at once, that he had no intention of prosecuting the boy, he pretended, I believe from the satanic delight in power that possesses every man of us, that he would turn it over in his mind. It might have been more dangerous, but it would have been more divine, if he had lifted the kneeling woman to his heart, and told her that not for the wealth of an imagination would he proceed against her brother. The divinity, however, was taking its course, both rough-hewing and shaping the ends of the two. She rose from the ground, sat on the one chair, with her face to the wall, and wept, helplessly, with the added sting, perhaps, of a faint personal disappointment. Stephen failed to attract her notice, and left the room. She started up when she heard the door close, and flew to open it, but was only in time to hear the outer door. She sat down and cried again. Stephen had gone to find the boy if he might, and bring him to his sister. He ought to have said so, for to permit suffering for the sake of a joyful surprise is not good. Going home first, he was hardly seated in his room, to turn over not the matter but the means, when a knock came to the shop-door, the sole entrance, and there were two policemen bringing the deserter in a cab. He had been run over in the very act of decamping with the contents of the till, had lain all but insensible at the hospital while his broken leg was being set, but, as soon as he came to himself, had gone into such a fury of determination to return to his master, that the house-surgeon saw that the only chance for the ungovernable creature was to yield. Perhaps he had some dim idea of restoring the money ere his master should have discovered its loss. As he was very little, they made a couch for him in the cab, and so sent him. It would appear that the suffering and the faintness had given his conscience a chance of being heard. The accident was to Charley what the sight of the mountain-peak was to the boy Wordsworth. He was delirious when he arrived, and instead of showing any contrition towards his master, only testified an extravagant joy at finding him again. Stephen had him taken into the back room, and laid upon his own bed. One of the policemen fetched the charwoman, and when she arrived, Stephen went to find Sara. She was sitting almost as he had left her, with a dull, hopeless look. "I am sorry to say Charley has had an accident," he said. She started up and clasped her hands. "He is not in prison?" she panted in a husky voice. "No; he is at my house. Come and see him. I don't think he is in any danger, but his leg is broken." A gleam of joy crossed Sara's countenance. She did not mind the broken leg, for he was safe from her terror. She put on her bonnet, tied the strings with trembling hands, and went with Stephen. "You see God wants to keep him out of prison too," he said, as they walked along the street. But to Sara this hardly conveyed an idea. She walked by his side in silence. "Charley! Charley!" she cried, when she saw him white on the bed, rolling his head from side to side. Charley ordered her away with words awful to hear, but which from him meant no more than words of ordinary temper in the mouth of the well-nurtured man or woman. She had spoiled and indulged him all his life, and now for the first time she was nothing to him, while the master who had lectured and restrained him was everything. When the surgeon wanted to change his dressings, he would not let him touch them till his master came. Before he was able to leave his bed, he had developed for Stephen a terrier-like attachment. But, after the first feverishness was over, his sister waited upon him. Stephen got a lodging, and abandoned his back room to the brother and sister. But he had to attend to his shop, and therefore saw much of both of them. Finding then to his astonishment that Sara could not read, he gave all his odd moments to her instruction, and her mind being at rest about Charley so long as she had him in bed, her spirit had leisure to think of other things. She learned rapidly. The lesson-book was of course the New Testament; and Stephen soon discovered that Sara's questions, moving his pity at first because of the ignorance they displayed, always left him thinking about some point that had never occurred to him before; so that at length he regarded Sara as a being of superior intelligence waylaid and obstructed by unfriendly powers upon her path towards the threshold of the kingdom, while she looked up to him as to one supreme in knowledge as in goodness. But she never could understand the pastor. This would have been a great trouble to Stephen, had not his vanity been flattered by her understanding of himself. He did not consider that growing love had enlightened his eyes to see into her heart, and enabled him thus to use an ordinary human language for the embodiment of common-sense ideas; whereas the speech of the pastor contained such an admixture of technicalities as to be unintelligible to the neophyte. Stephen was now distressed to find that whereas formerly he had received everything without question that his minister spoke, he now in general went home in a doubting, questioning mood, begotten of asking himself what Sara would say. He feared at first that the old Adam was beginning to get the upper hand of him, and that Satan was laying snares for his soul. But when he found at the same time that his conscience was growing more scrupulous concerning his business affairs, his hope sprouted afresh. One day, after Charley had been out for the first time, Sara, with a little tremor of voice and manner, addressed Stephen thus:- "I shall take Charley home to-morrow, if you please, Mr. Archer." "You don't mean to say, Sara, you've been paying for those lodgings all this time?" half-asked, half-exclaimed Stephen. "Yes, Mr. Archer. We, must have somewhere to go to. It ain't easy to get a room at any moment, now them railways is everywheres." "But I hope as how you're comfortable where you are, Sara?" "Yes, Mr. Archer. But what am I to do for all your kindness?" "You can pay me all in a lump, if you like, Sara. Only you don't owe me nothing." Her colour came and went. She was not used to men. She could not tell what he would have her understand, and could not help trembling. "What do you mean, Mr. Archer?" she faltered out. "I mean you can give me yourself, Sara, and that'll clear all scores." "But, Mr. Archer-you've been a-teaching of me good things-You don't mean to marry me!" exclaimed Sara, bursting into tears. "Of course I do, Sara. Don't cry about it. I won't if you don't like." This is how Stephen came to change his mind about his stock in trade. THE GIFTS OF THE CHILD CHRIST. CHAPTER I. "My hearers, we grow old," said the preacher. "Be it summer or be it spring with us now, autumn will soon settle down into winter, that winter whose snow melts only in the grave. The wind of the world sets for the tomb. Some of us rejoice to be swept along on its swift wings, and hear it bellowing in the hollows of earth and sky; but it will grow a terror to the man of trembling limb and withered brain, until at length he will long for the shelter of the tomb to escape its roaring and buffeting. Happy the man who shall then be able to believe that old age itself, with its pitiable decays and sad dreams of youth, is the chastening of the Lord, a sure sign of his love and his fatherhood." It was the first Sunday in Advent; but "the chastening of the Lord" came into almost every sermon that man preached. "Eloquent! But after all, can this kind of thing be true?" said to himself a man of about thirty, who sat decorously listening. For many years he had thought he believed this kind of thing-but of late he was not so sure. Beside him sat his wife, in her new winter bonnet, her pretty face turned up toward the preacher; but her eyes-nothing else-revealed that she was not listening. She was much younger than her husband-hardly twenty, indeed. In the upper corner of the pew sat a pale-faced child about five, sucking her thumb, and staring at the preacher. The sermon over, they walked home in proximity. The husband looked gloomy, and his eyes sought the ground. The wife looked more smiling than cheerful, and her pretty eyes went hither and thither. Behind them walked the child-steadily, "with level-fronting eyelids." It was a late-built region of large, common-place houses, and at one of them they stopped and entered. The door of the dining-room was open, showing the table laid for their Sunday dinner. The gentleman passed on to the library behind it, the lady went up to her bedroom, and the child a stage higher to the nursery. It wanted half an hour to dinner. Mr. Greatorex sat down, drummed with his fingers on the arm of his easy-chair, took up a book of arctic exploration, threw it again on the table, got up, and went to the smoking-room. He had built it for his wife's sake, but was often glad of it for his own. Again he seated himself, took a cigar, and smoked gloomily. Having reached her bedroom, Mrs. Greatorex took off her bonnet, and stood for ten minutes turning it round and round. Earnestly she regarded it-now gave a twist to the wire-stem of a flower, then spread wider the loop of a bow. She was meditating what it lacked of perfection rather than brooding over its merits: she was keen in bonnets. Little Sophy-or, as she called herself by a transposition of consonant sounds common with children, Phosy-found her nurse Alice in the nursery. But she was lost in the pages of a certain London weekly, which had found her in a mood open to its influences, and did not even look up when the child entered. With some effort Phosy drew off her gloves, and with more difficulty untied her hat. Then she took off her jacket, smoothed her hair, and retreated to a corner. There a large shabby doll lay upon her little chair: she took it up, disposed it gently upon the bed, seated herself in its place, got a little book from where she had left it under the chair, smoothed down her skirts, and began simultaneously to read and suck her thumb. The book was an unhealthy one, a cup filled to the brim with a poverty-stricken and selfish religion: such are always breaking out like an eruption here and there over the body of the Church, doing their part, doubtless, in carrying off the evil humours generated by poverty of blood, or the congestion of self-preservation. It is wonderful out of what spoiled fruit some children will suck sweetness. But she did not read far: her thoughts went back to a phrase which had haunted her ever since first she went to church: "Whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth." "I wish he would chasten me," she thought for the hundredth time. The small Christian had no suspicion that her whole life had been a period of chastening-that few children indeed had to live in such a sunless atmosphere as hers. Alice threw down the newspaper, gazed from the window into the back-yard of the next house, saw nothing but an elderly man-servant brushing a garment, and turned upon Sophy. "Why don't you hang up your jacket, miss?" she said, sharply. The little one rose, opened the wardrobe-door wide, carried a chair to it, fetched her jacket from the bed, clambered up on the chair, and, leaning far forward to reach a peg, tumbled right into the bottom of the wardrobe. "You clumsy!" exclaimed the nurse angrily, and pulling her out by the arm, shook her. Alice was not generally rough to her, but there were reasons to-day. Phosy crept back to her seat, pale, frightened, and a little hurt. Alice hung up the jacket, closed the wardrobe, and, turning, contemplated her own pretty face and neat figure in the glass opposite. The dinner-bell rang. "There, I declare!" she cried, and wheeled round on Phosy. "And your hair not brushed yet, miss! Will you ever learn to do a thing without being told it? Thank goodness, I shan't be plagued with you long! But I pity her as comes after me: I do!" "If the Lord would but chasten me!" said the child to herself, as she rose and laid down her book with a sigh. The maid seized her roughly by the arm, and brushed her hair with an angry haste that made the child's eyes water, and herself feel a little ashamed at the sight of them. "How could anybody love such a troublesome chit?" she said, seeking the comfort of justification from the child herself. Another sigh was the poor little damsel's only answer. She looked very white and solemn as she entered the dining-room. Mr. Greatorex was a merchant in the City. But he was more of a man than a merchant, which all merchants are not. Also, he was more scrupulous in his dealings than some merchants in the same line of business, who yet stood as well with the world as he; but, on the other hand, he had the meanness to pride himself upon it as if it had been something he might have done without and yet held up his head. Some six years before, he had married to please his parents; and a year before, he had married to please himself. His first wife had intellect, education, and heart, but little individuality-not enough to reflect the individuality of her husband. The consequence was, he found her uninteresting. He was kind and indulgent however, and not even her best friend blamed him much for manifesting nothing beyond the average devotion of husbands. But in truth his wife had great capabilities, only they had never ripened, and when she died, a fortnight after giving birth to Sophy, her husband had not a suspicion of the large amount of undeveloped power that had passed away with her. Her child was so like her both in countenance and manner that he was too constantly reminded of her unlamented mother; and he loved neither enough to discover that, in a sense as true as marvellous, the child was the very flower-bud of her mother's nature, in which her retarded blossom had yet a chance of being slowly carried to perfection. Love alone gives insight, and the father took her merely for a miniature edition of the volume which he seemed to have laid aside for ever in the dust of the earth's lumber-room. Instead, therefore, of watering the roots of his little human slip from the well of his affections, he had scarcely as yet perceived more in relation to her than that he was legally accountable for her existence, and bound to give her shelter and food. If he had questioned himself on the matter, he would have replied that love was not wanting, only waiting upon her growth, and the development of something to interest him. Little right as he had had to expect anything from his first marriage, he had yet cherished some hopes therein-tolerably vague, it is true, yet hardly faint enough, it would seem, for he was disappointed in them. When its bonds fell from him, however, he flattered himself that he had not worn them in vain, but had through them arrived at a knowledge of women as rare as profound. But whatever the reach of this knowledge, it was not sufficient to prevent him from harbouring the presumptuous hope of so choosing and so fashioning the heart and mind of a woman that they should be as concave mirrors to his own. I do not mean that he would have admitted the figure, but such was really the end he blindly sought. I wonder how many of those who have been disappointed in such an attempt have been thereby aroused to the perception of what a frightful failure their success would have been on both sides. It was bad enough that Augustus Greatorex's theories had cramped his own development; it would have been ten-fold worse had they been operative to the stunting of another soul. Letty Merewether was the daughter of a bishop in partibus . She had been born tolerably innocent, had grown up more than tolerably pretty, and was, when she came to England at the age of sixteen, as nearly a genuine example of Locke's sheet of white paper as could well have fallen to the hand of such an experimenter as Greatorex would fain become. In his suit he had prospered-perhaps too easily. He loved the girl, or at least loved the modified reflection of her in his own mind; while she, thoroughly admiring the dignity, good looks, and accomplishments of the man whose attentions flattered her self-opinion, accorded him deference enough to encourage his vainest hopes. Although she knew little, fluttering over the merest surfaces of existence, she had sense enough to know that he talked sense to her, and foolishness enough to put it down to her own credit, while for the sense itself she cared little or nothing. And Greatorex, without even knowing what she was rough-hewn for, would take upon him to shape her ends!-an ambition the Divinity never permits to succeed: he who fancies himself the carver finds himself but the chisel, or indeed perhaps only the mallet, in the hand of the true workman. During the days of his courtship, then, Letty listened and smiled, or answered with what he took for a spiritual response, when it was merely a brain-echo. Looking down into the pond of her being, whose surface was, not yet ruffled by any bubbling of springs from below, he saw the reflection of himself and was satisfied. An able man on his hobby looks a centaur of wisdom and folly; but if he be at all a wise man, the beast will one day or other show him the jade's favour of unseating him. Meantime Augustus Greatorex was fooled, not by poor little Letty, who was not capable of fooling him, but by himself. Letty had made no pretences; had been interested, and had shown her interest; had understood, or seemed to understand, what he said to her, and forgotten it the next moment-had no pocket to put it in, did not know what to do with it, and let it drop into the Limbo of Vanity. They had not been married many days before the scouts of advancing disappointment were upon them. Augustus resisted manfully for a time. But the truth was each of the two had to become a great deal more than either was, before any approach to unity was possible. He tried to interest her in one subject after another-tried her first, I am ashamed to say, with political economy. In that instance, when he came home to dinner he found that she had not got beyond the first page of the book he had left with her. But she had the best of excuses, namely, that of that page she had not understood a sentence. He saw his mistake, and tried her with poetry. But Milton, with whom unfortunately he commenced his approaches, was to her, if not equally unintelligible, equally uninteresting. He tried her next with the elements of science, but with no better success. He returned to poetry, and read some of the Faerie Queene with her: she was, or seemed to be, interested in all his talk about it, and inclined to go on with it in his absence, but found the first stanza she tried more than enough without him to give life to it. She could give it none, and therefore it gave her none. I believe she read a chapter of the Bible every day, but the only books she read with any real interest were novels of a sort that Augustus despised. It never occurred to him that he ought at once to have made friends of this Momus of unrighteousness, for by them he might have found entrance to the sealed chamber. He ought to have read with her the books she did like, for by them only could he make her think, and from them alone could he lead her to better. It is but from the very step upon which one stands that one can move to the next. Besides these books, there was nothing in her scheme of the universe but fashion, dress, calls, the park, other-peopledom, concerts, plays, churchgoing-whatever could show itself on the frosted glass of her camera obscura -make an interest of motion and colour in her darkened chamber. Without these, her bosom's mistress would have found life unendurable, for not yet had she ascended her throne, but lay on the floor of her nursery, surrounded with toys that imitated life. It was no wonder, therefore, that Augustus was at length compelled to allow himself disappointed. That it was the fault of his self-confidence made the thing no whit better. He was too much of a man not to cherish a certain tenderness for her, but he soon found to his dismay that it had begun to be mingled with a shadow of contempt. Against this he struggled, but with fluctuating success. He stopped later and later at business, and when he came home spent more and more of his time in the smoking-room, where by and by he had bookshelves put up. Occasionally he would accept an invitation to dinner and accompany his wife, but he detested evening parties, and when Letty, who never refused an invitation if she could help it, went to one, he remained at home with his books. But his power of reading began to diminish. He became restless and irritable. Something kept gnawing at his heart. There was a sore spot in it. The spot grew larger and larger, and by degrees the centre of his consciousness came to be a soreness: his cherished idea had been fooled; he had taken a silly girl for a woman of undeveloped wealth;-a bubble, a surface whereon fair colours chased each other, for a hearted crystal. On her part, Letty too had her grief, which, unlike Augustus, she did not keep to herself, receiving in return from more than one of her friends the soothing assurance that Augustus was only like all other men; that women were but their toys, which they cast away when weary of them. Letty did not see that she was herself making a toy of her life, or that Augustus was right in refusing to play with such a costly and delicate thing. Neither did Augustus see that, having, by his own blunder, married a mere child, he was bound to deal with her as one, and not let the child suffer for his fault more than what could not be helped. It is not by pressing our insights upon them, but by bathing the sealed eyelids of the human kittens, that we can help them. And all the time poor little Phosy was left to the care of Alice, a clever, careless, good-hearted, self-satisfied damsel, who, although seldom so rough in her behaviour as we have just seen her, abandoned the child almost entirely to her own resources. It was often she sat alone in the nursery, wishing the Lord would chasten her-because then he would love her. The first course was nearly over ere Augustus had brought himself to ask- What did you think of the sermon to-day, Letty?" "Not much," answered Letty. "I am not fond of finery. I prefer simplicity." Augustus held his peace bitterly. For it was just finery in a sermon, without knowing it, that Letty was fond of: what seemed to him a flimsy syllabub of sacred things, beaten up with the whisk of composition, was charming to Letty; while, on the contrary, if a man such as they had been listening to was carried away by the thoughts that struggled in him for utterance, the result, to her judgment, was finery, and the object display. In excuse it must be remembered that she had been used to her father's style, which no one could have aspersed with lack of sobriety. Presently she spoke again. "Gus, dear, couldn't you make up your mind for once to go with me to Lady Ashdaile's to-morrow? I am getting quite ashamed of appearing so often without you." "There is another way of avoiding that unpleasantness," remarked her husband drily. "You cruel creature!" returned Letty playfully. "But I must go this once, for I promised Mrs. Holden." "You know, Letty," said her husband, after a little pause, "it gets of more and more consequence that you should not fatigue yourself. By keeping such late hours in such stifling rooms you are endangering two lives-remember that, Letty. It you stay at home to-morrow, I will come home early, and read to you all the evening." "Gussy, that would be charming. You know there is nothing in the world I should enjoy so much. But this time I really mustn't." She launched into a list of all the great nobodies and small somebodies who were to be there, and whom she positively must see: it might be her only chance. Those last words quenched a sarcasm on Augustus' lips. He was kinder than usual the rest of the evening, and read her to sleep with the Pilgrim's Progress. Phosy sat in a corner, listened, and understood. Or where she misunderstood, it was an honest misunderstanding, which never does much hurt. Neither father nor mother spoke to her till they bade her good night. Neither saw the hungry heart under the mask of the still face. The father never imagined her already fit for the modelling she was better without, and the stepmother had to become a mother before she could value her. Phosy went to bed to dream of the Valley of Humiliation. CHAPTER II. The next morning Alice gave her mistress warning. It was quite unexpected, and she looked at her aghast. "Alice," she said at length, "you're never going to leave me at such a time!" "I'm sorry it don't suit you, ma'am, but I must." "Why, Alice? What is the matter? Has Sophy been troublesome?" "No, ma'am; there's no harm in that child." "Then what can it be, Alice? Perhaps you are going to be married sooner than you expected?" Alice gave her chin a little toss, pressed her lips together, and was silent. "I have always been kind to you," resumed her mistress. "I'm sure, ma'am, I never made no complaints!" returned Alice, but as she spoke she drew herself up straighter than before. "Then what is it?" said her mistress. "The fact is, ma'am," answered the girl, almost fiercely, "I cannot any longer endure a state of domestic slavery." "I don't understand you a bit better," said Mrs. Greatorex, trying, but in vain, to smile, and therefore looking angrier than she was. "I mean, ma'am-an' I see no reason as I shouldn't say it, for it's the truth-there's a worm at the root of society where one yuman bein' 's got to do the dirty work of another. I don't mind sweepin' up my own dust, but I won't sweep up nobody else's. I ain't a goin' to demean myself no longer! There!" "Leave the room, Alice," said Mrs. Greatorex; and when, with a toss and a flounce, the young woman had vanished, she burst into tears of anger and annoyance. The day passed. The evening came. She dressed without Alice's usual help, and went to Lady Ashdaile's with her friend. There a reaction took place, and her spirits rose unnaturally. She even danced-to the disgust of one or two quick-eyed matrons who sat by the wall. When she came home she found her husband sitting up for her. He said next to nothing, and sat up an hour longer with his book. In the night she was taken ill. Her husband called Alice, and ran himself to fetch the doctor. For some hours she seemed in danger, but by noon was much better. Only the greatest care was necessary. As soon as she could speak, she told Augustus of Alice's warning, and he sent for her to the library. She stood before him with flushed cheeks and flashing eyes. "I understand, Alice, you have given your mistress warning," he said gently. "Yes, sir." "Your mistress is very ill, Alice." "Yes, sir." "Don't you think it would be ungrateful of you to leave her in her present condition? She's not likely to be strong for some time to come." The use of the word "ungrateful" was an unfortunate one. Alice begged to know what she had to be grateful for. Was her work worth nothing? And her master, as every one must who claims that which can only be freely given, found himself in the wrong. "Well, Alice," he said, "we won't dispute that point; and if you are really determined on going, you must do the best you can for your mistress for the rest of the month." Alice's sense of injury was soothed by her master's forbearance. She had always rather approved of Mr. Greatorex, and she left the room more softly than she had entered it. Letty had a fortnight in bed, during which she reflected a little. The very day on which she left her room, Alice sought an interview with her master, and declared she could not stay out her month; she must go home at once. She had been very attentive to her mistress during the fortnight: there must be something to account for her strange behaviour. "Come now, Alice," said her master, "what's at the back of all this? You have been a good, well-behaved, obliging girl till now, and I am certain you would never be like this if there weren't something wrong somewhere." "Something wrong, sir! No, indeed, sir! Except you call it wrong to have an old uncle 's dies and leaves ever so much money-thousands on thousands, the lawyers say." "And does it come to you then, Alice?" "I get my share, sir. He left it to be parted even between his nephews and nieces." "Why, Alice, you are quite an heiress, then!" returned her master, scarcely however believing the thing so grand as Alice would have it. "But don't you think now it would be rather hard that your fortune should be Mrs. Greatorex's misfortune?" "Well, I don't see as how it shouldn't," replied Alice. "It's mis'ess's fortun' as 'as been my misfortun'-ain't it now, sir? An' why shouldn't it be the other way next?" "I don't quite see how your mistress's fortune can be said to be your misfortune, Alice." "Anybody would see that, sir, as wasn't blinded by class-prejudices." "Class-prejudices!" exclaimed Mr. Greatorex, in surprise at the word. "It's a term they use, I believe, sir! But it's plain enough that if mis'ess hadn't 'a' been better off than me, she wouldn't ha' been able to secure my services-as you calls it." "That is certainly plain enough," returned Mr. Greatorex. "But suppose nobody had been able to secure your services, what would have become of you?" "By that time the people'd have rose to assert their rights." "To what?-To fortunes like yours?" "To bread and cheese at least, sir," returned Alice, pertly. "Well, but you've had something better than bread and cheese." "I don't make no complaints as to the style of livin' in the house, sir, but that's all one, so long as it's on the vile condition of domestic slavery-which it's nothing can justify." "Then of course, although you are now a woman of property, you will never dream of having any one to wait on you," said her master, amused with the volume of human nature thus opened to him. "All I say, sir, is-it's my turn now; and I ain't goin' to be sit upon by no one. I know my dooty to myself." "I didn't know there was such a duty, Alice," said her master. Something in his tone displeased her. "Then you know now, sir," she said, and bounced out of the room. The next moment, however, ashamed of her rudeness, she re-entered, saying, "I don't want to be unkind, sir, but I must go home. I've got a brother that's ill, too, and wants to see me. If you don't object to me goin' home for a month, I promise you to come back and see mis'ess through her trouble-as a friend, you know, sir." "But just listen to me first, Alice," said Mr. Greatorex. "I've had something to do with wills in my time, and I can assure you it is not likely to be less than a year before you can touch the money. You had much better stay where you are till your uncle's affairs are settled. You don't know what may happen. There's many a slip between cup and lip, you know." "Oh! it's all right, sir. Everybody knows the money's left to his nephews and nieces, and me and my brother's as good as any." "I don't doubt it: still, if you'll take my advice, you'll keep a sound roof over your head till another's ready for you." Alice only threw her chin in the air, and said almost threateningly, "Am I to go for the month, sir?" "I'll talk to your mistress about it," answered Mr. Greatorex, not at all sure that such an arrangement would be for his wife's comfort. But the next day Mrs. Greatorex had a long talk with Alice, and the result was that on the following Monday she was to go home for a month, and then return for two months more at least. What Mr. Greatorex had said about the legacy, had had its effect, and, besides, her mistress had spoken to her with pleasure in her good fortune. About Sophy no one felt any anxiety: she was no trouble to any one, and the housemaid would see to her. CHAPTER III. On the Sunday evening, Alice's lover, having heard, not from herself, but by a side wind, that she was going home the next day, made his appearance in Wimborne Square, somewhat perplexed-both at the move, and at her leaving him in ignorance of the same. He was a cabinet-maker in an honest shop in the neighbourhood, and in education, faculty, and general worth, considerably Alice's superior-a fact which had hitherto rather pleased her, but now gave zest to the change which she imagined had subverted their former relation. Full of the sense of her new superiority, she met him draped in an indescribable strangeness. John Jephson felt, at the very first word, as if her voice came from the other side of the English Channel. He wondered what he had done, or rather what Alice could imagine he had done or said, to put her in such tantrums. "Alice, my dear," he said-for John was a man to go straight at the enemy, "what's amiss? What's come over you? You ain't altogether like your own self to-night! And here I find you're goin' away, and ne'er a word to me about it! What have I done?" Alice's chin alone made reply. She waited the fitting moment, with splendour to astonish, and with grandeur to subdue her lover. To tell the sad truth, she was no longer sure that it would be well to encourage him on the old footing; was she not standing on tiptoe, her skirts in her hand, on the brink of the brook that parted serfdom from gentility, on the point of stepping daintily across, and leaving domestic slavery, red hands, caps, and obedience behind her? How then was she to marry a man that had black nails, and smelt of glue? It was incumbent on her at least, for propriety's sake, to render him at once aware that it was in condescension ineffable she took any notice of him. "Alice, my girl!" began John again, in expostulatory tone. "Miss Cox, if you please, John Jephson," interposed Alice. "What on 'arth's come over you?" exclaimed John, with the first throb of rousing indignation. "But if you ain't your own self no more, why, Miss Cox be it. 'T seems to me 's if I warn't my own self no more-'s if I'd got into some un else, or 't least hedn't got my own ears on m' own head.-Never saw or heerd Alice like this afore!" he added, turning in gloomy bewilderment to the housemaid for a word of human sympathy. The movement did not altogether please Alice, and she felt she must justify her behaviour. "You see, John," she said, with dignity, keeping her back towards him, and pretending to dust the globe of a lamp, "there's things as no woman can help, and therefore as no man has no right to complain of them. It's not as if I'd gone an' done it, or changed myself, no more 'n if it 'ad took place in my cradle. What can I help it, if the world goes and changes itself? Am I to blame?-tell me that. It's not that. I make no complaint, but I tell you it ain't me, it's circumstances as is gone and changed theirselves, and bein' as circumstances is changed, things ain't the same as they was, and Miss is the properer term from you to me, John Jephson." "Dang it if I know what you're a drivin' at, Alice!-Miss Cox!-and I beg yer pardon, miss, I'm sure.-Dang me if I do!" "Don't swear, John Jephson-leastways before a lady. It's not proper." "It seems to me, Miss Cox, as if the wind was a settin' from Bedlam, or may be Colney Hatch," said John, who was considered a humourist among his comrades. "I wouldn't take no liberties with a lady, Miss Cox; but if I might be so bold as to arst the joke of the thing-" "Joke, indeed!" cried Alice. "Do you call a dead uncle and ten thousand pounds a joke?" "God bless me!" said John. "You don't mean it, Alice?" "I do mean it, and that you'll find, John Jephson. I'm goin' to bid you good-bye to-morrer." "Whoy, Alice!" exclaimed honest John, aghast. "It's truth I tell ye," said Alice. "And for how long?" gasped John, fore-feeling illimitable misfortune. "That depends," returned Alice, who did not care to lessen the effect of her communication by mentioning her promised return for a season. "-It ain't likely," she added, "as a heiress is a goin' to act the nuss-maid much longer." "But Alice," said John, "you don't mean to say-it's not in your mind now-it can't be, Alice-you're only jokin' with me-" "Indeed, and I'm not!" interjected Alice, with a sniff. "I don't mean that way, you know. What I mean is, you don't mean as how this 'ere money-dang it all!-as how it's to be all over between you and me?-You can't mean that, Alice!" ended the poor fellow, with a choking in his throat. It was very hard upon him! He must either look as if he wanted to share her money, or else as if he were ready to give her up. "Arst yourself, John Jephson," answered Alice, "whether it's likely a young lady of fortun' would be keepin' company with a young man as didn't know how to take off his hat to her in the park?" Alice did not above half mean what she said: she wished mainly to enhance her own importance. At the same time she did mean it half, and that would have been enough for Jephson. He rose, grievously wounded. "Good-bye, Alice," he said, taking the hand she did not refuse. "Ye're throwin' from ye what all yer money won't buy." She gave a scornful little laugh, and John walked out of the kitchen. At the door he turned with one lingering look; but in Alice there was no sign of softening. She turned scornfully away, and no doubt enjoyed her triumph to the full. The next morning she went away. CHAPTER IV. Mr. Greatorex had ceased to regard the advent of Christmas with much interest. Naturally gifted with a strong religious tendency, he had, since his first marriage, taken, not to denial, but to the side of objection, spending much energy in contempt for the foolish opinions of others, a self-indulgence which does less than little to further the growth of one's own spirit in truth and righteousness. The only person who stands excused-I do not say justified-in so doing, is the man who, having been taught the same opinions, has found them a legion of adversaries barring his way to the truth. But having got rid of them for himself, it is, I suspect, worse than useless to attack them again, save as the ally of those who are fighting their way through the same ranks to the truth. Greatorex had been indulging his intellect at the expense of his heart. A man may have light in the brain and darkness in the heart. It were better to be an owl than a strong-eyed apteryx. He was on the path which naturally ends in blindness and unbelief. I fancy, if he had not been neglectful of his child, she would ere this time have relighted his Christmas-candles for him; but now his second disappointment in marriage had so dulled his heart that he had begun to regard life as a stupid affair, in which the most enviable fool was the man who could still expect to realize an ideal. He had set out on a false track altogether, but had not yet discovered that there had been an immoral element at work in his mistake. For what right had he to desire the fashioning of any woman after his ideas? did not the angel of her eternal Ideal for ever behold the face of her Father in heaven? The best that can be said for him is, that, notwithstanding his disappointment and her faults, yea, notwithstanding his own faults, which were, with all his cultivation and strength of character, yet more serious than hers, he was still kind to her; yes, I may say for him, that, notwithstanding even her silliness, which is a sickening fault, and one which no supremacy of beauty can overshadow, he still loved her a little. Hence the care he showed for her in respect of the coming sorrow was genuine; it did not all belong to his desire for a son to whom he might be a father indeed-after his own fancies, however. Letty, on her part, was as full of expectation as the girl who has been promised a doll that can shut and open its eyes, and cry when it is pinched; her carelessness of its safe arrival came of ignorance and not indifference. It cannot but seem strange that such a man should have been so careless of the child he had. But from the first she had painfully reminded him of her mother, with whom in truth he had never quarrelled, but with whom he had not found life the less irksome on that account. Add to this that he had been growing fonder of business,-a fact which indicated, in a man of his endowment and development, an inclination downwards of the plane of his life. It was some time since he had given up reading poetry. History had almost followed: he now read little except politics, travels, and popular expositions of scientific progress. That year Christmas Eve fell upon a Monday. The day before, Letty not feeling very well, her husband thought it better not to leave her, and gave up going to church. Phosy was utterly forgotten, but she dressed herself, and at the usual hour appeared with her prayer-book in her hand ready for church. When her father told her that he was not going, she looked so blank that he took pity upon her, and accompanied her to the church-door, promising to meet her as she came out. Phosy sighed from relief as she entered, for she had a vague idea that by going to church to pray for it she might move the Lord to chasten her. At least he would see her there, and might think of it. She had never had such an attention from her father before, never such dignity conferred upon her as to be allowed to appear in church alone, sitting in the pew by herself like a grown damsel. But I doubt if there was any pride in her stately step, or any vanity in the smile-no, not smile, but illuminated mist, the vapour of smiles, which haunted her sweet little solemn church-window of a face, as she walked up the aisle. The preacher was one of whom she had never heard her father speak slighting word, in whom her unbounded trust had never been shaken. Also he was one who believed with his whole soul in the things that make Christmas precious. To him the birth of the wonderful baby hinted at hundreds of strange things in the economy of the planet. That a man could so thoroughly persuade himself that, he believed the old fable, was matter of marvel to some of his friends who held blind Nature the eternal mother, and Night the everlasting grandmother of all things. But the child Phosy, in her dreams or out of them, in church or nursery, with her book or her doll, was never out of the region of wonders, and would have believed, or tried to believe, anything that did not involve a moral impossibility. What the preacher said I need not even partially repeat; it is enough to mention a certain metamorphosed deposit from the stream of his eloquence carried home in her mind by Phosy: from some of his sayings about the birth of Jesus into the world, into the family, into the individual human bosom, she had got it into her head that Christmas Day was not a birthday like that she had herself last year, but that, in some wonderful way, to her requiring no explanation, the baby Jesus was born every Christmas Day afresh. What became of him afterwards she did not know, and indeed she had never yet thought to ask how it was that he could come to every house in London as well as No. 1, Wimborne Square. Little of a home as another might think it, that house was yet to her the centre of all houses, and the wonder had not yet widened rippling beyond it: into that spot of the pool the eternal gift would fall. Her father forgot the time over his book, but so entranced was her heart with the expectation of the promised visit, now so near-the day after to-morrow-that, if she did not altogether forget to look for him as she stepped down the stair from the church door to the street, his absence caused her no uneasiness; and when, just as she reached it, he opened the house-door in tardy haste to redeem his promise, she looked up at him with a solemn, smileless repose, born of spiritual tension and speechless anticipation, upon her face, and walking past him without change in the rhythm of her motion, marched stately up the stairs to the nursery. I believe the centre of her hope was that when the baby came she would beg him on her knees to ask the Lord to chasten her. When dessert was over, her mother on the sofa in the drawing-room, and her father in an easy-chair, with a bottle of his favourite wine by his side, she crept out of the room and away again to the nursery. There she reached up to her little bookshelf, and, full of the sermon as spongy mists are full of the sunlight, took thence a volume of stories from the German, the re-reading of one of which, narrating the visit of the Christ-child, laden with gifts, to a certain household, and what he gave to each and all therein, she had, although sorely tempted, saved up until now, and sat down with it by the fire, the only light she had. When the housemaid, suddenly remembering she must put her to bed, and at the same time discovering it was a whole hour past her usual time, hurried to the nursery, she found her fast asleep in her little armchair, her book on her lap, and the fire self-consumed into a dark cave with a sombre glow in its deepest hollows. Dreams had doubtless come to deepen the impressions of sermon and maehrchen , for as she slowly yielded to the hands of Polly putting her to bed, her lips, unconsciously moved of the slumbering but not sleeping spirit, more than once murmured the words Lord loveth and chasteneth . Right blessedly would I enter the dreams of such a child-revel in them, as a bee in the heavenly gulf of a cactus-flower. CHAPTER V. On Christmas Eve the church bells were ringing through the murky air of London, whose streets lay flaring and steaming below. The brightest of their constellations were the butchers' shops, with their shows of prize beef; around them, the eddies of the human tides were most confused and knotted. But the toy-shops were brilliant also. To Phosy they would have been the treasure-caves of the Christ-child-all mysteries, all with insides to them-boxes, and desks, and windmills, and dove-cots, and hens with chickens, and who could tell what all? In every one of those shops her eyes would have searched for the Christ-child, the giver of all their wealth. For to her he was everywhere that night-ubiquitous as the luminous mist that brooded all over London-of which, however, she saw nothing but the glow above the mews. John Jephson was out in the middle of all the show, drifting about in it: he saw nothing that had pleasure in it, his heart was so heavy. He never thought once of the Christ-child, or even of the Christ-man, as the giver of anything. Birth is the one standing promise-hope for the race, but for poor John this Christmas held no promise. With all his humour, he was one of those people, generally dull and slow-God grant me and mine such dullness and such sloth-who having once loved, cannot cease. During the fortnight he had scarce had a moment's ease from the sting of his Alice's treatment. The honest fellow's feelings were no study to himself; he knew nothing but the pleasure and the pain of them; but, I believe it was not mainly for himself that he was sorry. Like Othello, "the pity of it" haunted him: he had taken Alice for a downright girl, about whom there was and could be no mistake; and the first hot blast of prosperity had swept her away like a hectic leaf. What were all the shops dressed out in holly and mistletoe, what were all the rushing flaming gas-jets, what the fattest of prize-pigs to John, who could never more imagine a spare-rib on the table between Alice and him of a Sunday? His imagination ran on seeing her pass in her carriage, and drop him a nod of condescension as she swept noisily by him-trudging home weary from his work to his loveless fireside. He didn't want her money! Honestly, he would rather have her without than with money, for he now regarded it as an enemy, seeing what evil changes it could work. "There be some devil in it, sure!" he said to himself. True, he had never found any in his week's wages, but he did remember once finding the devil in a month's wages received in the lump. As he was thus thinking with himself, a carriage came suddenly from a side street into the crowd, and while he stared at it, thinking Alice might be sitting inside it while he was tramping the pavement alone, she passed him on the other side on foot-was actually pushed against him: he looked round, and saw a young woman, carrying a small bag, disappearing in the crowd. "There's an air of Alice about her " said John to himself, seeing her back only. But of course it couldn't be Alice; for her he must look in the carriages now! And what a fool he was: every young woman reminded him of the one he had lost! Perhaps if he was to call the next day-Polly was a good-natured creature-he might hear some news of her. It had been a troubled fortnight with Mrs. Greatorex. She wished much that she could have talked to her husband more freely, but she had not learned to feel at home with him. Yet he had been kinder and more attentive than usual all the time, so much so that Letty thought with herself-if she gave him a boy, he would certainly return to his first devotion. She said boy , because any one might see he cared little for Phosy. She had never discovered that he was disappointed in herself, but, since her disregard of his wishes had brought evil upon her, she had begun to suspect that he had some ground for being dissatisfied with her. She never dreamed of his kindness as the effort of a conscientious nature to make the best of what could not now be otherwise helped. Her own poverty of spirit and lack of worth achieved, she knew as little of as she did of the riches of Michael the archangel. One must have begun to gather wisdom before he can see his own folly. That evening she was seated alone in the drawing-room, her husband having left her to smoke his cigar, when the butler entered and informed her that Alice had returned, but was behaving so oddly that they did not know what to do with her. Asking wherein her oddness consisted, and learning that it was mostly in silence and tears, she was not sorry to gather that some disappointment had befallen her, and felt considerable curiosity to know what it was. She therefore told him to send her upstairs. Meantime Polly, the housemaid, seeing plainly enough from her return in the middle of her holiday, and from her utter dejection, that Alice's expectations had been frustrated, and cherishing no little resentment against her because of her uppishness on the first news of her good fortune, had been ungenerous enough to take her revenge in a way as stinging in effect as bitter in intention; for she loudly protested that no amount of such luck as she pretended to suppose in Alice's possession, would have induced her to behave herself so that a handsome honest fellow like John Jephson should be driven to despise her, and take up with her betters. When her mistress's message came, Alice was only too glad to find refuge from the kitchen in the drawing-room. The moment she entered, she fell on her knees at the foot of the couch on which her mistress lay, covered her face with her hands, and sobbed grievously. Nor was the change more remarkable in her bearing than in her person. She was pale and worn, and had a hunted look-was in fact a mere shadow of what she had been. For a time her mistress found it impossible to quiet her so as to draw from her her story: tears and sobs combined with repugnance to hold her silent. "Oh, ma'am!" she burst out at length, wringing her hands, "how ever can I tell you? You will never speak to me again. Little did I think such a disgrace was waiting me!" "It was no fault of yours if you were misinformed," said her mistress, "or that your uncle was not the rich man you fancied." "Oh, ma'am, there was no mistake there! He was more than twice as rich as I fancied. If he had only died a beggar, and left things as they was!" "Then he didn't leave it to his nephews and nieces as they told you?-Well, there's no disgrace in that." "Oh! but he did, ma'am: that was all right; no mistake there either, ma'am.-And to think o' me behavin' as I did-to you and master as was so good to me! Who'll ever take any more notice of me now, after what has come out-as I'm sure I no more dreamed on than the child unborn!" An agonized burst of fresh weeping followed, and it was with prolonged difficulty, and by incessant questioning, that Mrs. Greatorex at length drew from her the following facts. Before Alice and her brother could receive the legacy to which they laid claim, it was necessary to produce certain documents, the absence of which, as of any proof to take their place, led to the unavoidable publication of a fact previously known only to a living few-namely, that the father and mother of Alice Hopwood had never been married, which fact deprived them of the smallest claim on the legacy, and fell like a millstone upon Alice and her pride. From the height of her miserable arrogance she fell prone-not merely hurled back into the lowly condition from which she had raised her head only to despise it with base unrighteousness, and to adopt and reassert the principles she had abhorred when they affected herself-not merely this, but, in her own judgment at least, no longer the respectable member of society she had hitherto been justified in supposing herself. The relation of her father and mother she felt overshadow her with a disgrace unfathomable-the more overwhelming that it cast her from the gates of the Paradise she had seemed on the point of entering: her fall she measured by the height of the social ambition she had cherished, and had seemed on the point of attaining. But it is not an evil that the devil's money, which this legacy had from the first proved to Alice, should turn to a hot cinder in the hand. Rarely had a more haughty spirit than hers gone before a fall, and rarely has the fall been more sudden or more abject. And the consciousness of the behaviour into which her false riches had seduced her, changed the whip of her chastisement into scorpions. Worst of all, she had insulted her lover as beneath her notice, and the next moment had found herself too vile for his. Judging by herself, in the injustice of bitter humiliation she imagined him scoffing with his mates at the base-born menial who would set up for a fine lady. But had she been more worthy of honest John, she would have understood him better. As it was, no really good fortune could have befallen her but such as now seemed to her the depth of evil fortune. Without humiliation to prepare the way for humility, she must have become capable of more and more baseness, until she lost all that makes life worth having. When Mrs. Greatorex had given her what consolation she found handy, and at length dismissed her, the girl, unable to endure her own company, sought the nursery, where she caught Sophy in her arms and embraced her with fervour. Never in her life having been the object of any such display of feeling, Phosy was much astonished: when Alice had set her down and she had resumed her seat by the fireside, she went on staring for a while-and then a strange sort of miming ensued. It was Phosy's habit-one less rare with children than may by most be imagined-to do what she could to enter into any state of mind whose shows were sufficiently marked for her observation. She sought to lay hold of the feeling that produced the expression: less than the reproduction of a similar condition in her own imaginative sensorium, subject to her leisurely examination, would in no case satisfy the little metaphysician. But what was indeed very odd was the means she took for arriving at the sympathetic knowledge she desired. As if she had been the most earnest student of dramatic expression through the facial muscles, she would sit watching the countenance of the object of her solicitude, all the time, with full consciousness, fashioning her own as nearly as she could into the lines and forms of the other: in proportion as she succeeded, the small psychologist imagined she felt in herself the condition that produced the phenomenon she observed-as if the shape of her face cast inward its shadow upon her mind, and so revealed to it, through the two faces, what was moving and shaping in the mind of the other. In the present instance, having at length, after modelling and remodelling her face like that of a gutta-percha doll for some time, composed it finally into the best correspondence she could effect, she sat brooding for a while, with Alice's expression as it were frozen upon it. Gradually the forms assumed melted away, and allowed her still, solemn face to look out from behind them. The moment this evanishment was complete, she rose and went to Alice, where she sat staring into the fire, unconscious of the scrutiny she had been undergoing, and, looking up in her face, took her thumb out of her mouth, and said, "Is the Lord chastening Alice? I wish he would chasten Phosy." Her lace was calm as that of the Sphinx; there was no mist in the depth of her gray eyes, not a cloud on the wide heaven of her forehead. Was the child crazed? What could the atom mean, with her big eyes looking right into her? Alice never had understood her: it were indeed strange if the less should comprehend the greater! She was not yet, capable of recognising the word of the Lord in the mouth of babes and sucklings. But there was a something in Phosy's face besides its calmness and unintelligibility. What it was Alice could never have told-yet it did her good. She lifted the child on her lap. There she soon fell asleep. Alice undressed her, laid her in her crib, and went to bed herself. But, weary as she was, she had to rise again before she got to sleep. Her mistress was again taken ill. Doctor and nurse were sent for in hot haste; hansom cabs came and went throughout the night, like noisy moths to the one lighted house in the street; there were soft steps within, and doors were gently opened and shut. The waters of Mara had risen and filled the house. Towards morning they were ebbing slowly away. Letty did not know that her husband was watching by her bedside. The street was quiet now. So was the house. Most of its people had been up throughout the night, but now they had all gone to bed except the strange nurse and Mr. Greatorex. It was the morning of Christmas Day, and little Phosy knew it in every cranny of her soul. She was not of those who had been up all night, and now she was awake, early and wide, and the moment she awoke she was speculating: He was coming to-day- how would he come? Where should she find the baby Jesus? And when would he come? In the morning, or the afternoon, or in the evening? Could such a grief be in store for her as that he would not appear until night, when she would be again in bed? But she would not sleep till all hope was gone. Would everybody be gathered to meet him, or would he show himself to one after another, each alone? Then her turn would be last, and oh, if he would come to the nursery! But perhaps he would not appear to her at all!-for was she not one whom the Lord did not care to chasten? Expectation grew and wrought in her until she could lie in bed no longer. Alice was fast asleep. It must be early, but whether it was yet light or not she could not tell for the curtains. Anyhow she would get up and dress, and then she would be ready for Jesus whenever he should come. True, she was not able to dress herself very well, but he would know, and would not mind. She made all the haste she could, consistently with taking pains, and was soon attired after a fashion. She crept out of the room and down the stair. The house was very still. What if Jesus should come and find nobody awake? Would he go again and give them no presents? She couldn't expect any herself-but might he not let her take theirs for the rest? Perhaps she ought to wake them all, but she dared not without being sure. On the last landing above the first floor, she saw, by the low gaslight at the end of the corridor, an unknown figure pass the foot of the stair: could she have anything to do with the marvel of the day? The woman looked up, and Phosy dropped the question. Yet she might be a charwoman, whose assistance the expected advent rendered necessary. When she reached the bottom of the stair she saw her disappearing in her step-mother's room. That she did not like. It was the one room into which she could not go. But, as the house was so still, she would search everywhere else, and if she did not find him, would then sit down in the hall and wait for him. The room next the foot of the stair, and opposite her step-mother's, was the spare room, with which she associated ideas of state and grandeur: where better could she begin than at the guest-chamber?-There!-Could it be? Yes!-Through the chink of the scarce-closed door she saw light. Either he was already there or there they were expecting him. From that moment she felt as if lifted out of the body. Far exalted above all dread, she peeped modestly in, and then entered. Beyond the foot of the bed, a candle stood on a little low table, but nobody was to be seen. There was a stool near the table: she would sit on it by the candle, and wait for him. But ere she reached it, she caught sight of something upon the bed that drew her thither. She stood entranced.- Could it be?-It might be. Perhaps he had left it there while he went into her mamma's room with something for her.-The loveliest of dolls ever imagined! She drew nearer. The light was low, and the shadows were many: she could not be sure what it was. But when she had gone close up to it, she concluded with certainty that it was in very truth a doll-perhaps intended for her-but beyond doubt the most exquisite of dolls. She dragged a chair to the bed, got, up, pushed her little arms softly under it, and drawing it gently to her, slid down with it. When she felt her feet firm on the floor, filled with the solemn composure of holy awe she carried the gift of the child Jesus to the candle, that she might the better admire its beauty and know its preciousness. But the light had no sooner fallen upon it than a strange undefinable doubt awoke within her. Whatever it was, it was the very essence of loveliness-the tiny darling with its alabaster face, and its delicately modelled hands and fingers! A long night-gown covered all the rest.-Was it possible?-Could it be?-Yes, indeed! it must be-it could be nothing else than a real baby! What a goose she had been! Of course it was baby Jesus himself!-for was not this his very own Christmas Day on which he was always born?-If she had felt awe of his gift before, what a grandeur of adoring love, what a divine dignity possessed her, holding in her arms the very child himself! One shudder of bliss passed through her, and in an agony of possession she clasped the baby to her great heart-then at once became still with the satisfaction of eternity, with the peace of God. She sat down on the stool, near the little table, with her back to the candle, that its rays should not fall on the eyes of the sleeping Jesus and wake him: there she sat, lost in the very majesty of bliss, at once the mother and the slave of the Lord Jesus. She sat for a time still as marble waiting for marble to awake, heedful as tenderest woman not to rouse him before his time, though her heart was swelling with the eager petition that he would ask his Father to be as good as chasten her. And as she sat, she began, after her wont, to model her face to the likeness of his, that she might understand his stillness-the absolute peace that dwelt on his countenance. But as she did so, again a sudden doubt invaded her: Jesus lay so very still-never moved, never opened his pale eye-lids! And now set thinking, she noted that he did not breathe. She had seen babies asleep, and their breath came and went-their little bosoms heaved up and down, and sometimes they would smile, and sometimes they would moan and sigh. But Jesus did none of all these things: was it not strange? And then he was cold-oh, so cold! A blue silk coverlid lay on the bed: she half rose and dragged it off, and contrived to wind it around herself and the baby. Sad at heart, very sad, but undismayed, she sat and watched him on her lap. CHAPTER VI. Meantime the morning of Christmas Day grew. The light came and filled the house. The sleepers slept late, but at length they stirred. Alice awoke last-from a troubled sleep, in which the events of the night mingled with her own lost condition and destiny. After all Polly had been kind, she thought, and got Sophy up without disturbing her. She had been but a few minutes down, when a strange and appalling rumour made itself-I cannot say audible, but-somehow known through the house, and every one hurried up in horrible dismay. The nurse had gone into the spare room, and missed the little dead thing she had laid there. The bed was between her and Phosy, and she never saw her. The doctor had been sharp with her about something the night before: she now took her revenge in suspicion of him, and after a hasty and fruitless visit of inquiry to the kitchen, hurried to Mr. Greatorex. The servants crowded to the spare room, and when their master, incredulous indeed, yet shocked at the tidings brought him, hastened to the spot, he found them all in the room, gathered at the foot of the bed. A little sunlight filtered through the red window-curtains, and gave a strange pallid expression to the flame of the candle, which had now burned very low. At first he saw nothing but the group of servants, silent, motionless, with heads leaning forward, intently gazing: he had come just in time: another moment and they would have ruined the lovely sight. He stepped forward, and saw Phosy, half shrouded in blue, the candle behind illuminating the hair she had found too rebellious to the brush, and making of it a faint aureole about her head and white face, whence cold and sorrow had driven all the flush, rendering it colourless as that upon her arm which had never seen the light. She had pored on the little face until she knew death, and now she sat a speechless mother of sorrow, bending in the dim light of the tomb over the body of her holy infant. How it was I cannot tell, but the moment her father saw her she looked up, and the spell of her dumbness broke. "Jesus is dead," she said, slowly and sadly, but with perfect calmness. "He is dead," she repeated. "He came too early, and there was no one up to take care of him, and he's dead-dead-dead!" But as she spoke the last words, the frozen lump of agony gave way; the well of her heart suddenly filled, swelled, overflowed; the last word was half sob, half shriek of utter despair and loss. Alice darted forward and took the dead baby tenderly from her. The same moment her father raised the little mother and clasped her to his bosom. Her arms went round his neck, her head sank on his shoulder, and sobbing in grievous misery, yet already a little comforted, he bore her from the room. "No, no, Phosy!" they heard him say, "Jesus is not dead, thank God. It is only your little brother that hadn't life enough, and is gone back to God for more." Weeping the women went down the stairs. Alice's tears were still flowing, when John Jephson entered. Her own troubles forgotten in the emotion of the scene she had just witnessed, she ran to his arms and wept on his bosom. John stood as one astonished. "O Lord! this is a Christmas!" he sighed at last. "Oh John!" cried Alice, and tore herself from his embrace, "I forgot! You'll never speak to me again, John! Don't do it, John." And with the words she gave a stifled cry, and fell a weeping again, behind her two shielding hands. "Why, Alice!-you ain't married, are you?" gasped John, to whom that was the only possible evil. "No, John, and never shall be: a respectable man like you would never think of looking twice at a poor girl like me!" "Let's have one more look anyhow," said John, drawing her hands from her face. "Tell me what's the matter, and if there's anything can be done to right you, I'll work day and night to do it, Alice." "There's nothing can be done, John," replied Alice, and would again have floated out on the ocean of her misery, but in spite of wind and tide, that is sobs and tears, she held on by the shore at his entreaty, and told her tale, not even omitting the fact that when she went to the eldest of the cousins, inheriting through the misfortune of her and her brother so much more than their expected share, and "demeaned herself" to beg a little help for her brother, who was dying of consumption, he had all but ordered her out of the house, swearing he had nothing to do with her or her brother, and saying she ought to be ashamed to show her face. "And that when we used to make mud pies together!" concluded Alice with indignation. "There, John! you have it all," she added. "-And now?" With the word she gave a deep, humbly questioning look into his honest eyes. "Is that all, Alice?" he asked. "Yes, John; ain't it enough?" she returned. "More'n enough," answered John. "I swear to you, Alice, you're worth to me ten times what you would ha' been, even if you'd ha' had me, with ten thousand pounds in your ridicule. Why, my woman, I never saw you look one 'alf so 'an'some as you do now!" "But the disgrace of it, John!" said Alice, hanging her head, and so hiding the pleasure that would dawn through all the mist of her misery. "Let your father and mother settle that betwixt 'em, Alice. 'Tain't none o' my business. Please God, we'll do different.-When shall it be, my girl?" "When you like, John," answered Alice, without raising her head, thoughtfully. When she had withdrawn herself from the too rigorous embrace with which he received her consent, she remarked- "I do believe, John, money ain't a good thing! Sure as I live, with the very wind o' that money, the devil entered into me. Didn't you hate me, John? Speak the truth now." "No, Alice. I did cry a bit over you, though. You was possessed like." "I was possessed. I do believe if that money hadn't been took from me, I'd never ha' had you, John. Ain't it awful to think on?" "Well, no. O' coorse! How could ye?" said Jephson-with reluctance. "Now, John, don't ye talk like that, for I won't stand it. Don't you go for to set me up again with excusin' of me. I'm a nasty conceited cat, I am-and all for nothing but mean pride." "Mind ye, ye're mine now, Alice; an' what's mine's mine, an' I won't have it abused. I knows you twice the woman you was afore, and all the world couldn't gi' me such another Christmas-box-no, not if it was all gold watches and roast beef." When Mr. Greatorex returned to his wife's room, and thought to find her asleep as he had left her, he was dismayed to hear sounds of soft weeping from the bed. Some tone or stray word, never intended to reach her ear, had been enough to reveal the truth concerning her baby. "Hush! hush!" he said, with more love in his heart than had moved there for many months, and therefore more in his tone than she had heard for as many;-"if you cry you will be ill. Hush, my dear!" In a moment, ere he could prevent her, she had flung her arms around his neck as he stooped over her. "Husband! husband!" she cried, "is it my fault?" "You behaved perfectly," he returned. "No woman could have been braver." "Ah, but I wouldn't stay at home when you wanted me." "Never mind that now, my child," he said. At the word she pulled his face down to hers. "I have you , and I don't care," he added. " Do you care to have me?" she said, with a sob that ended in a loud cry. "Oh! I don't deserve it. But I will be good after tins. I promise you I will." "Then you must begin now, my darling. You must lie perfectly still, and not cry a bit, or you will go after the baby, and I shall be left alone." She looked up at him with such a light in her face as he had never dreamed of there before. He had never seen her so lovely. Then she withdrew her arms, repressed her tears, smiled, and turned her face away. He put her hands under the clothes, and in a minute or two she was again fast asleep. CHAPTER VII. That day, when Phosy and her father had sat down to their Christmas dinner, he rose again, and taking her up as she sat, chair and all, set her down close to him, on the other side of the corner of the table. It was the first of a new covenant between them. The father's eyes having been suddenly opened to her character and preciousness, as well as to his own neglected duty in regard to her, it was as if a well of life had burst forth at his feet. And every day, as he looked in her face and talked to her, it was with more and more respect for what he found in her, with growing tenderness for her predilections, and reverence for the divine idea enclosed in her ignorance, for her childish wisdom, and her calm seeking-until at length he would have been horrified at the thought of training her up in his way: had she not a way of her own to go-following-not the dead Jesus, but Him who liveth for evermore? In the endeavour to help her, he had to find his own position towards the truth; and the results were weighty.-Nor did the child's influence work forward merely. In his intercourse with her he was so often reminded of his first wife, and that, with the gloss or comment of a childish reproduction, that his memories of her at length grew a little tender, and through the child he began to understand the nature and worth of the mother. In her child she had given him what she could not be herself. Unable to keep up with him, she had handed him her baby, and dropped on the path. Nor was little Sophy his only comfort. Through their common loss and her husband's tenderness, Letty began to grow a woman. And her growth was the more rapid that, himself taught through Phosy, her husband no longer desired to make her adopt his tastes, and judge with his experiences, but, as became the elder and the tried, entered into her tastes and experiences-became, as it were, a child again with her, that, through the thing she was, he might help the thing she had to be. As soon as she was able to bear it, he told her the story of the dead Jesus, and with the tale came to her heart love for Phosy. She had lost a son for a season, but she had gained a daughter for ever. Such were the gifts the Christ-child brought to one household that Christmas. And the days of the mourning of that household were ended. THE HISTORY OF PHOTOGEN AND NYCTERIS. A DAY AND NIGHT MAeHRCHEN . CHAPTER I. WATHO. There was once a witch who desired to know everything. But the wiser a witch is, the harder she knocks her head against the wall when she comes to it. Her name was Watho, and she had a wolf in her mind. She cared for nothing in itself-only for knowing it. She was not naturally cruel, but the wolf had made her cruel. She was tall and graceful, with a white skin, red hair, and black eyes, which had a red fire in them. She was straight and strong, but now and then would fall bent together, shudder, and sit for a moment with her head turned over her shoulder, as if the wolf had got out of her mind on to her back. CHAPTER II. AURORA. This witch got two ladies to visit her. One of them belonged to the court, and her husband had been sent on a far and difficult embassy. The other was a young widow whose husband had lately died, and who had since lost her sight, Watho lodged them in different parts of her castle, and they did not know of each other's existence. The castle stood on the side of a hill sloping gently down into a narrow valley, in which was a river, with a pebbly channel and a continual song. The garden went down to the bank of the river, enclosed by high walls, which crossed the river and there stopped. Each wall had a double row of battlements, and between the rows was a narrow walk. In the topmost story of the castle the Lady Aurora occupied a spacious apartment of several large rooms looking southward. The windows projected oriel-wise over the garden below, and there was a splendid view from them both up and down and across the river. The opposite side of the valley was steep, but not very high. Far away snow-peaks were visible. These rooms Aurora seldom left, but their airy spaces, the brilliant landscape and sky, the plentiful sunlight, the musical instruments, books, pictures, curiosities, with the company of Watho who made herself charming, precluded all dulness. She had venison and feathered game to eat, milk and pale sunny sparkling wine to drink. She had hair of the yellow gold, waved and rippled; her skin was fair, not white like Watho's, and her eyes were of the blue of the heavens when bluest; her features were delicate but strong, her mouth large and finely curved, and haunted with smiles. CHAPTER III. VESPER. Behind the castle the hill rose abruptly; the north-eastern tower, indeed, was in contact with the rock, and communicated with the interior of it. For in the rock was a series of chambers, known only to Watho and the one servant whom she trusted, called Falca. Some former owner had constructed these chambers after the tomb of an Egyptian king, and probably with the same design, for in the centre of one of them stood what could only be a sarcophagus, but that and others were walled off. The sides and roofs of them were carved in low relief, and curiously painted. Here the witch lodged the blind lady, whose name was Vesper. Her eyes were black, with long black lashes; her skin had a look of darkened silver, but was of purest tint and grain; her hair was black and fine and straight-flowing; her features were exquisitely formed, and if less beautiful yet more lovely from sadness; she always looked as if she wanted to lie down and not rise again. She did not know she was lodged in a tomb, though now and then she wondered she never touched a window. There were many couches, covered with richest silk, and soft as her own cheek, for her to lie upon; and the carpets were so thick, she might have cast herself down anywhere-as befitted a tomb. The place was dry and warm, and cunningly pierced for air, so that it was always fresh, and lacked only sunlight. There the witch fed her upon milk, and wine dark as a carbuncle, and pomegranates, and purple grapes, and birds that dwell in marshy places; and she played to her mournful tunes, and caused wailful violins to attend her, and told her sad tales, thus holding her ever in an atmosphere of sweet sorrow. CHAPTER IV. PHOTOGEN. Watho at length had her desire, for witches often get what they want: a splendid boy was born to the fair Aurora. Just as the sun rose, he opened his eyes. Watho carried him immediately to a distant part of the castle, and persuaded the mother that he never cried but once, dying the moment he was born. Overcome with grief, Aurora left the castle as soon as she was able, and Watho never invited her again. And now the witch's care was, that the child should not know darkness. Persistently she trained him until at last he never slept during the day, and never woke during the night. She never let him see anything black, and even kept all dull colours out of his way. Never, if she could help it, would she let a shadow fall upon him, watching against shadows as if they had been live things that would hurt him. All day he basked in the full splendour of the sun, in the same large rooms his mother had occupied. Watho used him to the sun, until he could bear more of it than any dark-blooded African. In the hottest of every day, she stript him and laid him in it, that he might ripen like a peach; and the boy rejoiced in it, and would resist being dressed again. She brought all her knowledge to bear on making his muscles strong and elastic and swiftly responsive-that his soul, she said laughing, might sit in every fibre, be all in every part, and awake the moment of call. His hair was of the red gold, but his eyes grew darker as he grew, until they were as black as Vesper's. He was the merriest of creatures, always laughing, always loving, for a moment raging, then laughing afresh. Watho called him Photogen. CHAPTER V. NYCTERIS. Five or six months after the birth of Photogen, the dark lady also gave birth to a baby: in the windowless tomb of a blind mother, in the dead of night, under the feeble rays of a lamp in an alabaster globe, a girl came into the darkness with a wail. And just as she was born for the first time, Vesper was born for the second, and passed into a world as unknown to her as this was to her child-who would have to be born yet again before she could see her mother. Watho called her Nycteris, and she grew as like Vesper as possible-in all but one particular. She had the same dark skin, dark eyelashes and brows, dark hair, and gentle sad look; but she had just the eyes of Aurora, the mother of Photogen, and if they grew darker as she grew older, it was only a darker blue. Watho, with the help of Falca, took the greatest possible care of her-in every way consistent with her plans, that is,-the main point in which was that she should never see any light but what came from the lamp. Hence her optic nerves, and indeed her whole apparatus for seeing, grew both larger and more sensitive; her eyes, indeed, stopped short only of being too large. Under her dark hair and forehead and eyebrows, they looked like two breaks in a cloudy night-sky, through which peeped the heaven where the stars and no clouds live. She was a sadly dainty little creature. No one in the world except those two was aware of the being of the little bat. Watho trained her to sleep during the day, and wake during the night. She taught her music, in which she was herself a proficient, and taught her scarcely anything else. CHAPTER VI. HOW PHOTOGEN GREW. The hollow in which the castle of Watho lay, was a cleft in a plain rather than a valley among hills, for at the top of its steep sides, both north and south, was a table-land, large and wide. It was covered with rich grass and flowers, with here and there a wood, the outlying colony of a great forest. These grassy plains were the finest hunting grounds in the world. Great herds of small, but fierce cattle, with humps and shaggy manes, roved about them, also antelopes and gnus, and the tiny roedeer, while the woods were swarming with wild creatures. The tables of the castle were mainly supplied from them. The chief of Watho's huntsmen was a fine fellow, and when Photogen began to outgrow the training she could give him, she handed him over to Fargu. He with a will set about teaching him all he knew. He got him pony after pony, larger and larger as he grew, every one less manageable than that which had preceded it, and advanced him from pony to horse, and from horse to horse, until he was equal to anything in that kind which the country produced. In similar fashion he trained him to the use of bow and arrow, substituting every three months a stronger how and longer arrows; and soon he became, even on horseback, a wonderful archer. He was but fourteen when he killed his first bull, causing jubilation among the huntsmen, and, indeed, through all the castle, for there too he was the favourite. Every day, almost as soon as the sun was up, he went out hunting, and would in general be out nearly the whole of the day. But Watho had laid upon Fargu just one commandment, namely, that Photogen should on no account, whatever the plea, be out until sundown, or so near it as to wake in him the desire of seeing what was going to happen; and this commandment Fargu was anxiously careful not to break; for, although he would not have trembled had a whole herd of bulls come down upon him, charging at full speed across the level, and not an arrow left in his quiver, he was more than afraid of his mistress. When she looked at him in a certain way, he felt, he said, as if his heart turned to ashes in his breast, and what ran in his veins was no longer blood, but milk and water. So that, ere long, as Photogen grew older, Fargu began to tremble, for he found it steadily growing harder to restrain him. So full of life was he, as Fargu said to his mistress, much to her content, that he was more like a live thunderbolt than a human being. He did not know what fear was, and that not because he did not know danger; for he had had a severe laceration from the razor-like tusk of a boar-whose spine, however, he had severed with one blow of his hunting-knife, before Fargu could reach him with defence. When he would spur his horse into the midst of a herd of bulls, carrying only his bow and his short sword, or shoot an arrow into a herd, and go after it as if to reclaim it for a runaway shaft, arriving in time to follow it with a spear-thrust before the wounded animal knew which way to charge, Fargu thought with terror how it would be when he came to know the temptation of the huddle-spot leopards, and the knife-clawed lynxes, with which the forest was haunted. For the boy had been so steeped in the sun, from childhood so saturated with his influence, that he looked upon every danger from a sovereign height of courage. When, therefore, he was approaching his sixteenth year, Fargu ventured to beg of Watho that she would lay her commands upon the youth himself, and release him from responsibility for him. One might as soon hold a tawny-maned lion as Photogen, he said, Watho called the youth, and in the presence of Fargu laid her command upon him never to be out when the rim of the sun should touch the horizon, accompanying the prohibition with hints of consequences, none the less awful that they were obscure. Photogen listened respectfully, but, knowing neither the taste of fear nor the temptation of the night, her words were but sounds to him. CHAPTER VII. HOW NYCTERIS GREW. The little education she intended Nycteris to have, Watho gave her by word of mouth. Not meaning she should have light enough to read by, to leave other reasons unmentioned, she never put a book in her hands. Nycteris, however, saw so much better than Watho imagined, that the light she gave her was quite sufficient, and she managed to coax Falca into teaching her the letters, after which she taught herself to read, and Falca now and then brought her a child's book. But her chief pleasure was in her instrument. Her very fingers loved it, and would wander about over its keys like feeding sheep. She was not unhappy. She knew nothing of the world except the tomb in which she dwelt, and had some pleasure in everything she did. But she desired, nevertheless, something more or different. She did not know what it was, and the nearest she could come to expressing it to herself was-that she wanted more room. Watho and Falca would go from her beyond the shine of the lamp, and come again; therefore surely there must be more room somewhere. As often as she was left alone, she would fall to poring over the coloured bas-reliefs on the walls. These were intended to represent various of the powers of Nature under allegorical similitudes, and as nothing can be made that does not belong to the general scheme, she could not fail at least to imagine a flicker of relationship between some of them, and thus a shadow of the reality of things found its way to her. There was one thing, however, which moved and taught her more than all the rest-the lamp, namely, that hung from the ceiling, which she always saw alight, though she never saw the flame, only the slight condensation towards the centre of the alabaster globe. And besides the operation of the light itself after its kind, the indefiniteness of the globe, and the softness of the light, giving her the feeling as if her eyes could go in and into its whiteness, were somehow also associated with the idea of space and room. She would sit for an hour together gazing up at the lamp, and her heart would swell as she gazed. She would wonder what had hurt her, when she found her face wet with tears, and then would wonder how she could have been hurt without knowing it. She never looked thus at the lamp except when she was alone. CHAPTER VIII. THE LAMP. Watho having given orders, took it for granted they were obeyed, and that Falca was all night long with Nycteris, whose day it was. But Falca could not get into the habit of sleeping through the day, and would often leave her alone half the night. Then it seemed to Nycteris that the white lamp was watching over her. As it was never permitted to go out-while she was awake at least-Nycteris, except by shutting her eyes, knew less about darkness than she did about light. Also, the lamp being fixed high overhead, and in the centre of everything, she did not know much about shadows either. The few there were fell almost entirely on the floor, or kept like mice about the foot of the walls. Once, when she was thus alone, there came the noise of a far-off rumbling: she had never before heard a sound of which she did not know the origin, and here therefore was a new sign of something beyond these chambers. Then came a trembling, then a shaking; the lamp dropped from the ceiling to the floor with a great crash, and she felt as if both her eyes were hard shut and both her hands over them. She concluded that it was the darkness that had made the rumbling and the shaking, and rushing into the room, had thrown down the lamp. She sat trembling. The noise and the shaking ceased, but the light did not return. The darkness had eaten it up! Her lamp gone, the desire at once awoke to get out of her prison. She scarcely knew what out meant; out of one room into another, where there was not even a dividing door, only an open arch, was all she knew of the world. But suddenly she remembered that she had heard Falca speak of the lamp going out : this must be what she had meant? And if the lamp had gone out, where had it gone? Surely where Falca went, and like her it would come again. But she could not wait. The desire to go out grew irresistible. She must follow her beautiful lamp! She must find it! She must see what it was about! Now there was a curtain covering a recess in the wall, where some of her toys and gymnastic things were kept; and from behind that curtain Watho and Falca always appeared, and behind it they vanished. How they came out of solid wall, she had not an idea, all up to the wall was open space, and all beyond it seemed wall; but clearly the first and only thing she could do, was to feel her way behind the curtain. It was so dark that a cat could not have caught the largest of mice. Nycteris could see better than any cat, but now her great eyes were not of the smallest use to her. As she went she trod upon a piece of the broken lamp. She had never worn shoes or stockings, and the fragment, though, being of soft alabaster, it did not cut, yet hurt her foot. She did not know what it was, but as it had not been there before the darkness came, she suspected that it had to do with the lamp. She kneeled therefore, and searched with her hands, and bringing two large pieces together, recognized the shape of the lamp. Therewith it flashed upon her that the lamp was dead, that this brokenness was the death of which she had read without understanding, that the darkness had killed the lamp. What then could Falca have meant when she spoke of the lamp going out ? There was the lamp-dead, indeed, and so changed that she would never have taken it for a lamp but for the shape! No, it was not the lamp any more now it was dead, for all that made it a lamp was gone, namely, the bright shining of it. Then it must be the shine, the light, that had gone out! That must be what Falca meant-and it must be somewhere in the other place in the wall. She started afresh alter it, and groped her way to the curtain. Now she had never in her life tried to get out, and did not know how; but instinctively she began to move her hands about over one of the walls behind the curtain, half expecting them to go into it, as she supposed Watho and Falca did. But. the wall repelled her with inexorable hardness, and she turned to the one opposite. In so doing, she set her foot upon an ivory die, and as it met sharply the same spot the broken alabaster had already hurt, she fell forward with her outstretched hands against the wall. Something gave way, and she tumbled out of the cavern. CHAPTER IX. OUT. But alas! out was very much like in , for the same enemy, the darkness, was here also. The next moment, however, came a great gladness-a firefly, which had wandered in from the garden. She saw the tiny spark in the distance. With slow pulsing ebb and throb of light, it came pushing itself through the air, drawing nearer and nearer, with that motion which more resembles swimming than flying, and the light seemed the source of its own motion. "My lamp! my lamp!" cried Nycteris. "It is the shiningness of my lamp, which the cruel darkness drove out. My good lamp has been waiting for me here all the time! It knew I would come after it, and waited to take me with it." She followed the firefly, which, like herself, was seeking the way out. If it did not know the way, it was yet light; and, because all light is one, any light may serve to guide to more light. If she was mistaken in thinking it the spirit of her lamp, it was of the same spirit as her lamp-and had wings. The gold-green jet-boat, driven by light, went throbbing before her through a long narrow passage. Suddenly it rose higher, and the same moment Nycteris fell upon an ascending stair. She had never seen a stair before, and found going-up a curious sensation. Just as she reached what seemed the top, the firefly ceased to shine, and so disappeared. She was in utter darkness once more. But when we are following the light, even its extinction is a guide. If the firefly had gone on shining, Nycteris would have seen the stair turn, and would have gone up to Watho's bedroom; whereas now, feeling straight before her, she came to a latched door, which after a good deal of trying she managed to open-and stood in a maze of wondering perplexity, awe, and delight. What was it? Was it outside of her, or something taking place in her head? Before her was a very long and very narrow passage, broken up she could not tell how, and spreading out above and on all sides to an infinite height and breadth and distance-as if space itself were growing out of a trough. It was brighter than her rooms had ever been-brighter than if six alabaster lamps had been burning in them. There was a quantity of strange streaking and mottling about it, very different from the shapes on her walls. She was in a dream of pleasant perplexity, of delightful bewilderment. She could not tell whether she was upon her feet or drifting about like the firefly, driven by the pulses of an inward bliss. But she knew little as yet of her inheritance. Unconsciously she took one step forward from the threshold, and the girl who had been from her very birth a troglodyte, stood in the ravishing glory of a southern night, lit by a perfect moon-not the moon of our northern clime, but a moon like silver glowing in a furnace-a moon one could see to be a globe-not far off, a mere flat disc on the face of the blue, but hanging down halfway, and looking as if one could see all round it by a mere bending of the neck. "It is my lamp!" she said, and stood dumb with parted lips. She looked and felt as if she had been standing there in silent ecstasy from the beginning. "No, it is not my lamp," she said after a while; "it is the mother of all the lamps." And with that she fell on her knees, and spread out her hands to the moon. She could not in the least have told what was in her mind, but the action was in reality just a begging of the moon to be what she was-that precise incredible splendour hung in the far-off roof, that very glory essential to the being of poor girls born and bred in caverns. It was a resurrection-nay, a birth itself, to Nycteris. What the vast blue sky, studded with tiny sparks like the heads of diamond nails, could be; what the moon, looking so absolutely content with light.-why, she knew less about them than you and I! but the greatest of astronomers might envy the rapture of such a first impression at the age of sixteen. Immeasurably imperfect it was, but false the impression could not be, for she saw with the eyes made for seeing, and saw indeed what many men are too wise to see. As she knelt, something softly flapped her, embraced her, stroked her, fondled her. She rose to her feet, but saw nothing, did not know what it was. It was likest a woman's breath. For she know nothing of the air even, had never breathed the still newborn freshness of the world. Her breath had come to her only through long passages and spirals in the rock. Still less did she know of the air alive with motion-of that thrice blessed thing, the wind of a summer night. It was like a spiritual wine, filling her whole being with an intoxication of purest joy. To breathe was a perfect existence. It seemed to her the light itself she drew into her lungs. Possessed by the power of the gorgeous night, she seemed at one and the same moment annihilated and glorified. She was in the open passage or gallery that ran round the top of the garden walls, between the cleft battlements, but she did not once look down to see what lay beneath. Her soul was drawn to the vault above her, with its lamp and its endless room. At last she burst into tears, and her heart was relieved, as the night itself is relieved by its lightning and rain. And now she grew thoughtful. She must hoard this splendour! What a little ignorance her gaolers had made of her! Life was a mighty bliss, and they had scraped hers to the bare bone! They must not know that she knew. She must hide her knowledge-hide it even from her own eyes, keeping it close in her bosom, content to know that she had it, even when she could not brood on its presence, feasting her eyes with its glory. She turned from the vision, therefore, with a sigh of utter bliss, and with soft quiet steps and groping hands, stole back into the darkness of the rock. What was darkness or the laziness of Time's feet to one who had seen what she had that night seen? She was lifted above all weariness-above all wrong. When Falca entered, she uttered a cry of terror. But Nycteris called to her not to be afraid, and told her how there had come a rumbling and a shaking, and the lamp had fallen. Then Falca went and told her mistress, and within an hour a new globe hung in the place of the old one. Nycteris thought it did not look so bright and clear as the former, but she made no lamentation over the change; she was far too rich to heed it. For now, prisoner as she knew herself, her heart was full of glory and gladness; at times she had to hold herself from jumping up, and going dancing and singing about the room. When she slept, instead of dull dreams, she had splendid visions. There were times, it is true, when she became restless, and impatient to look upon her riches, but then she would reason with herself, saying, "What does it matter if I sit here for ages with my poor pale lamp, when out there a lump is burning at which ten thousand little lamps are glowing with wonder?" She never doubted she had looked upon the day and the sun, of which she had read; and always when she read of the day and the sun, she had the night and the moon in her mind; and when she read of the night and the moon, she thought only of the cave and the lamp that hung there. CHAPTER X. THE GREAT LAMP. It was some time before she had a second opportunity of going out, for Falca, since the fall of the lamp, had been a little more careful, and seldom left her for long. But one night, having a little headache, Nycteris lay down upon her bed, and was lying with her eyes closed, when she heard Falca come to her, and felt she was bending over her. Disinclined to talk, she did not open her eyes, and lay quite still. Satisfied that she was asleep, Falca left her, moving so softly that her very caution made Nycteris open her eyes and look after her-just in time to see her vanish-through a picture, as it seemed, that hung on the wall a long way from the usual place of issue. She jumped up, her headache forgotten, and ran in the opposite direction; got out, groped her way to the stair, climbed, and reached the top of the wall.-Alas! the great room was not so light as the little one she had left. Why?-Sorrow of sorrows! the great lamp was gone! Had its globe fallen? and its lovely light gone out upon great wings, a resplendent firefly, oaring itself through a yet grander and lovelier room? She looked down to see if it lay anywhere broken to pieces on the carpet below; but she could not even see the carpet. But surely nothing very dreadful could have happened-no rumbling or shaking, for there were all the little lamps shining brighter than before, not one of them looking as if any unusual matter had befallen. What if each of those little lamps was growing into a big lamp, and after being a big lamp for a while, had to go out and grow a bigger lamp still-out there, beyond this out ?-Ah! here was the living thing that would not be seen, come to her again-bigger to-night! with such loving kisses, and such liquid strokings of her cheeks and forehead, gently tossing her hair, and delicately toying with it! But it ceased, and all was still. Had it gone out? What would happen next? Perhaps the little lamps had not to grow great lamps, but to fall one by one and go out first?-With that, came from below a sweet scent, then another, and another. Ah, how delicious! Perhaps they were all coming to her only on their way out after the great lamp!-Then came the music of the river, which she had been too absorbed in the sky to note the first time. What was it? Alas! alas! another sweet living thing on its way out. They were all marching slowly out in long lovely file, one after the other, each taking its leave of her as it passed! It must be so: here were more and more sweet sounds, following and fading! The whole of the Out was going out again; it was all going after the great lovely lamp! She would be left the only creature in the solitary day! Was there nobody to hang up a new lamp for the old one, and keep the creatures from going?-She crept back to her rock very sad. She tried to comfort herself by saying that anyhow there would be room out there; but as she said it she shuddered at the thought of empty room. When next she succeeded in getting out, a half-moon hung in the east: a new lamp had come, she thought, and all would be well. It would be endless to describe the phases of feeling through which Nycteris passed, more numerous and delicate than those of a thousand changing moons. A fresh bliss bloomed in her soul with every varying aspect of infinite nature. Ere long she began to suspect that the new moon was the old moon, gone out and come in again like herself; also that, unlike herself, it wasted and grew again; that it was indeed a live thing, subject like herself to caverns, and keepers, and solitudes, escaping and shining when it could. Was it a prison like hers it was shut in? and did it grow dark when the lamp left it? Where could be the way into it?-With that first she began to look below, as well as above and around her; and then first noted the tops of the trees between her and the floor. There were palms with their red-fingered hands full of fruit; eucalyptus trees crowded with little boxes of powder-puffs; oleanders with their half-caste roses; and orange trees with their clouds of young silver stars, and their aged balls of gold. Her eyes could see colours invisible to ours in the moonlight, and all these she could distinguish well, though at first she took them for the shapes and colours of the carpet of the great room. She longed to get down among them, now she saw they were real creatures, but she did not know how. She went along the whole length of the wall to the end that crossed the river, but found no way of going down. Above the river she stopped to gaze with awe upon the rushing water. She knew nothing of water but from what she drank and what she bathed in; and, as the moon shone on the dark, swift stream, singing lustily as it flowed, she did not doubt the river was alive, a swift rushing serpent of life, going-out?-whither? And then she wondered if what was brought into her rooms had been killed that she might drink it, and have her bath in it. Once when she stepped out upon the wall, it was into the midst of a fierce wind. The trees were all roaring. Great clouds were rushing along the skies, and tumbling over the little lamps: the great lamp had not come yet. All was in tumult. The wind seized her garments and hair, and shook them as if it would tear them from her. What could she have done to make the gentle creature so angry? Or was this another creature altogether-of the same kind, but hugely bigger, and of a very different temper and behaviour? But the whole place was angry! Or was it that the creatures dwelling in it, the wind, and the trees, and the clouds, and the river, had all quarrelled, each with all the rest? Would the whole come to confusion and disorder? But, as she gazed wondering and disquieted, the moon, larger than ever she had seen her, came lifting herself above the horizon to look, broad and red, as if she, too, were swollen with anger that she had been roused from her rest by their noise, and compelled to hurry up to see what her children were about, thus rioting in her absence, lest they should rack the whole frame of things. And as she rose, the loud wind grew quieter and scolded less fiercely, the trees grew stiller and moaned with a lower complaint, and the clouds hunted and hurled themselves less wildly across the sky. And as if she were pleased that her children obeyed her very presence, the moon grew smaller as she ascended the heavenly stair; her puffed cheeks sank, her complexion grew clearer, and a sweet smile spread over her countenance, as peacefully she rose and rose. But there was treason and rebellion in her court; for, ere she reached the top of her great stairs, the clouds had assembled, forgetting their late wars, and very still they were as they laid their heads together and conspired. Then combining, and lying silently in wait until she came near, they threw themselves upon her, and swallowed her up. Down from the roof came spots of wet, faster and faster, and they wetted the cheeks of Nycteris; and what could they be but the tears of the moon, crying because her children were smothering her? Nycteris wept too, and not knowing what to think, stole back in dismay to her room. The next time, she came out in fear and trembling. There was the moon still! away in the west-poor, indeed, and old, and looking dreadfully worn, as if all the wild beasts in the sky had been gnawing at her-but there she was, alive still, and able to shine! CHAPTER XI. THE SUNSET. Knowing nothing of darkness, or stars, or moon, Photogen spent his days in hunting. On a great white horse he swept over the grassy plains, glorying in the sun, fighting the wind, and killing the buffaloes. One morning, when he happened to be on the ground a little earlier than usual, and before his attendants, he caught sight of an animal unknown to him, stealing from a hollow into which the sunrays had not yet reached. Like a swift shadow it sped over the grass, slinking southward to the forest. He gave chase, noted the body of a buffalo it had half eaten, and pursued it the harder. But with great leaps and bounds the creature shot farther and farther ahead of him, and vanished. Turning therefore defeated, he met Fargu, who had been following him as fast as his horse could carry him. "What animal was that, Fargu?" he asked. "How he did run!" Fargu answered he might be a leopard, but he rather thought from his pace and look that he was a young lion. "What a coward he must he!" said Photogen. "Don't be too sure of that," rejoined Fargu. "He is one of the creatures the sun makes uncomfortable. As soon as the sun is down, he will be brave enough." He had scarcely said it, when he repented nor did he regret it the less when he found that Photogen made no reply. But alas! said was said. "Then," said Photogen to himself, "that contemptible beast is one of the terrors of sundown, of which Madam Watho spoke!" He hunted all day, but not with his usual spirit. He did not ride so hard, and did not kill one buffalo. Fargu to his dismay observed also that he took every pretext for moving farther south, nearer to the forest. But all at once, the sun now sinking in the west, he seemed to change his mind, for he turned his horse's head, and rode home so fast that the rest could not keep him in sight. When they arrived, they found his horse in the stable, and concluded that he had gone into the castle. But he had in truth set out again by the back of it. Crossing the river a good way up the valley, he reascended to the ground they had left, and just before sunset reached the skirts of the forest. The level orb shone straight in between the bare stems, and saying to himself he could not fail to find the beast, he rushed into the wood. But even as he entered, he turned, and looked to the west. The rim of the red was touching the horizon, all jagged with broken hills. "Now," said Photogen, "we shall see;" but he said it in the face of a darkness he had not proved. The moment the sun began to sink among the spikes and saw-edges, with a kind of sudden flap at his heart a fear inexplicable laid hold of the youth; and as he had never felt anything of the kind before, the very fear itself terrified him. As the sun sank, it rose like the shadow of the world, and grew deeper and darker. He could not even think what it might be, so utterly did it enfeeble him. When the last flaming scimitar-edge of the sun went out like a lamp, his horror seemed to blossom into very madness. Like the closing lids of an eye-for there was no twilight, and this night no moon-the terror and the darkness rushed together, and he knew them for one. He was no longer the man he had known, or rather thought himself. The courage he had had was in no sense his own-he had only had courage, not been courageous; it had left him, and he could scarcely stand-certainly not stand straight, for not one of his joints could he make stiff or keep from trembling. He was but a spark of the sun, in himself nothing. The beast was behind him-stealing upon him! He turned. All was dark in the wood, but to his fancy the darkness here and there broke into pairs of green eyes, and he had not the power even to raise his bow-hand from his side. In the strength of despair he strove to rouse courage enough-not to fight-that he did not even desire-but to run. Courage to flee home was all he could ever imagine, and it would not come. But what he had not, was ignominiously given him. A cry in the wood, half a screech, half a growl, sent him running like a boar-wounded cur. It was not even himself that ran, it was the fear that had come alive in his legs: he did not know that they moved. But as he ran he grew able to run-gained courage at least to be a coward. The stars gave a little light. Over the grass he sped, and nothing followed him. "How fallen, how changed," from the youth who had climbed the hill as the sun went down! A mere contempt to himself, the self that contemned was a coward with the self it contemned! There lay the shapeless black of a buffalo, humped upon the grass: he made a wide circuit, and swept on like a shadow driven in the wind. For the wind had arisen, and added to his terror: it blew from behind him. He reached the brow of the valley, and shot down the steep descent like a falling star. Instantly the whole upper country behind him arose and pursued him! The wind came howling after him, filled with screams, shrieks, yells, roars, laughter, and chattering, as if all the animals of the forest were careering with it. In his ears was a trampling rush, the thunder of the hoofs of the cattle, in career from every quarter of the wide plains to the brow of the hill above him! He fled straight for the castle, scarcely with breath enough to pant. As he reached the bottom of the valley, the moon peered up over its edge. He had never seen the moon before-except in the daytime, when he had taken her for a thin bright cloud. She was a fresh terror to him-so ghostly! so ghastly! so gruesome!-so knowing as she looked over the top of her garden-wall upon the world outside! That was the night itself! the darkness alive-and after him! the horror of horrors coming down the sky to curdle his blood, and turn his brain to a cinder! He gave a sob, and made straight for the river, where it ran between the two walls, at the bottom of the garden. He plunged in, struggled through, clambered up the bank, and fell senseless on the grass. CHAPTER XII. THE GARDEN. Although Nycteris took care not to stay out long at a time, and used every precaution, she could hardly have escaped discovery so long, had it not been that the strange attacks to which Watho was subject had been more frequent of late, and had at last settled into an illness which kept her to her bed. But whether from an access of caution or from suspicion, Falca, having now to be much with her mistress both day and night, took it at length into her head to fasten the door as often as she went by her usual place of exit; so that one night, when Nycteris pushed, she found, to her surprise and dismay, that the wall pushed her again, and would not let her through; nor with all her searching could she discover wherein lay the cause of the change. Then first she felt the pressure of her prison-walls, and turning, half in despair, groped her way to the picture where she had once seen Falca disappear. There she soon found the spot by pressing upon which the wall yielded. It let her through into a sort of cellar, where was a glimmer of light from a sky whose blue was paled by the moon. From the cellar she got into a long passage, into which the moon was shining, and came to a door. She managed to open it, and, to her great joy, found herself in the other place , not on the top of the wall, however, but in the garden she had longed to enter. Noiseless as a fluffy moth she flitted away into the covert of the trees and shrubs, her bare feet welcomed by the softest of carpets, which, by the very touch, her feet knew to be alive, whence it came that it was so sweet and friendly to them. A soft little wind was out among the trees, running now here, now there, like a child that had got its will. She went dancing over the grass, looking behind her at her shadow, as she went. At first she had taken it for a little black creature that made game of her, but when she perceived that it was only where she kept the moon away, and that every tree, however great and grand a creature, had also one of these strange attendants, she soon learned not to mind it, and by and by it became the source of as much amusement to her, as to any kitten its tail. It was long before she was quite at home with the trees, however. At one time they seemed to disapprove of her; at another not even to know she was there, and to be altogether taken up with their own business. Suddenly, as she went from one to another of them, looking up with awe at the murmuring mystery of their branches and leaves, she spied one a little way off, which was very different from all the rest. It was white, and dark, and sparkling, and spread like a palm-a small slender palm, without much head; and it grew very fast, and sang as it grew. But it never grew any bigger, for just as fast as she could see it growing, it kept falling to pieces. When she got close to it, she discovered that it was a water-tree-made of just such water as she washed with-only it was alive of course, like the river-a different sort of water from that, doubtless, seeing the one crept swiftly along the floor, and the other shot straight up, and fell, and swallowed itself, and rose again. She put her feet into the marble basin, which was the flower-pot in which it grew. It was full of real water, living and cool-so nice, for the night was hot! But the flowers! ah, the flowers! she was friends with them from the very first. What wonderful creatures they were!-and so kind and beautiful-always sending out such colours and such scents-red scent, and white scent, and yellow scent-for the other creatures! The one that was invisible and everywhere, took such a quantity of their scents, and carried it away! yet they did not seem to mind. It was their talk, to show they were alive, and not painted like those on the walls of her rooms, and on the carpets. She wandered along down the garden until she reached the river. Unable then to get any further-for she was a little afraid, and justly, of the swift watery serpent-she dropped on the grassy bank, dipped her feet in the water, and felt it running and pushing against them. For a long time she sat thus, and her bliss seemed complete, as she gazed at the river, and watched the broken picture of the great lamp overhead, moving up one side of the roof, to go down the other. CHAPTER XIII. SOMETHING QUITE NEW. A beautiful moth brushed across the great blue eyes of Nycteris. She sprang to her feet to follow it-not in the spirit of the hunter, but of the lover. Her heart-like every heart, if only its fallen sides were cleared away-was an inexhaustible fountain of love: she loved everything she saw. But as she followed the moth, she caught sight of something lying on the bank of the river, and not yet having learned to be afraid of anything, ran straight to see what it was. Reaching it, she stood amazed. Another girl like herself! But what a strange-looking girl!-so curiously dressed too!-and not able to move! Was she dead? Filled suddenly with pity, she sat down, lifted Photogen's head, laid it on her lap, and began stroking his face. Her warm hands brought him to himself. He opened his black eyes, out of which had gone all the fire, and looked up with a strange sound of fear, half moan, half gasp. But when he saw her face, he drew a deep breath, and lay motionless-gazing at her: those blue marvels above him, like a better sky, seemed to side with courage and assuage his terror. At length, in a trembling, awed voice, and a half whisper, he said, "Who are you?" "I am Nycteris," she answered. "You are a creature of the darkness, and love the night," he said, his fear beginning to move again. "I may be a creature of the darkness," she replied. "I hardly know what you mean. But I do not love the night. I love the day-with all my heart; and I sleep all the night long." "How can that be?" said Photogen, rising on his elbow, but dropping his head on her lap again the moment he saw the moon; "-how can it be," he repeated, "when I see your eyes there-wide awake?" She only smiled and stroked him, for she did not understand him, and thought he did not know what he was saying. "Was it a dream then?" resumed Photogen, rubbing his eyes. But with that his memory came clear, and he shuddered, and cried, "Oh horrible! horrible! to be turned all at once into a coward! a shameful, contemptible, disgraceful coward! I am ashamed-ashamed-and so frightened! It is all so frightful!" "What is so frightful?" asked Nycteris, with a smile like that of a mother to her child waked from a bad dream. "All, all," he answered; "all this darkness and the roaring." "My dear," said Nycteris, "there is no roaring. How sensitive you must be! What you hear is only the walking of the water, and the running about of the sweetest of all the creatures. She is invisible, and I call her Everywhere, for she goes through all the other creatures and comforts them. Now she is amusing herself, and them too, with shaking them and kissing them, and blowing in their faces. Listen: do you call that roaring? You should hear her when she is rather angry though! I don't know why, but she is sometimes, and then she does roar a little." "It is so horribly dark!" said Photogen, who, listening while she spoke, had satisfied himself that there was no roaring. "Dark!" she echoed. "You should be in my room when an earthquake has killed my lamp. I do not understand. How can you call this dark? Let me see: yes, you have eyes, and big ones, bigger than Madam Watho's or Falca's-not so big as mine, I fancy-only I never saw mine. But then-oh yes!-I know now what is the matter! You can't see with them because they are so black. Darkness can't see, of course. Never mind: I will be your eyes, and teach you to see. Look here-at these lovely white things in the grass, with red sharp points all folded together into one. Oh, I love them so! I could sit looking at them all day, the darlings!" Photogen looked close at the flowers, and thought he had seen something like them before, but could not make them out. As Nycteris had never seen an open daisy, so had he never seen a closed one. Thus instinctively Nycteris tried to turn him away from his fear; and the beautiful creature's strange lovely talk helped not a little to make him forget it. "You call it dark!" she said again, as if she could not get rid of the absurdity of the idea; "why, I could count every blade of the green hair-I suppose it is what the books call grass-within two yards of me! And just look at the great lamp! It is brighter than usual to-day, and I can't think why you should be frightened, or call it dark!" As she spoke, she went on stroking his cheeks and hair, and trying to comfort him. But oh how miserable he was! and how plainly he looked it! He was on the point of saying that her great lamp was dreadful to him, looking like a witch, walking in the sleep of death; but he was not so ignorant as Nycteris, and knew even in the moonlight that she was a woman, though he had never seen one so young or so lovely before; and while she comforted his fear, her presence made him the more ashamed of it. Besides, not knowing her nature, he might annoy her, and make her leave him to his misery. He lay still therefore, hardly daring to move: all the little life he had seemed to come from her, and if he were to move, she might move; and if she were to leave him, he must weep like a child. "How did you come here?" asked Nycteris, taking his face between her hands. "Down the hill," he answered. "Where do you sleep?" she asked. He signed in the direction of the house. She gave a little laugh of delight. "When you have learned not to be frightened, you will always be wanting to come out with me," she said. She thought with herself she would ask her presently, when she had come to herself a little, how she had made her escape, for she must, of course, like herself have got out of a cave, in which Watho and Falca had been keeping her. "Look at the lovely colours," she went on, pointing to a rose-bush, on which Photogen could not see a single flower. "They are far more beautiful-are they not?-than any of the colours upon your walls. And then they are alive, and smell so sweet!" He wished she would not make him keep opening his eyes to look at things he could not see; and every other moment would start and grasp tight hold of her, as some fresh pang of terror shot into him. "Come, come, dear!" said Nycteris; "you must not go on this way. You must be a brave girl, and-" "A girl!" shouted Photogen, and started to his feet in wrath. "If you were a man, I should kill you." "A man?" repeated Nycteris: "what is that? How could I be that? We are both girls-are we not?" "No, I am not a girl," he answered; "-although," he added, changing his tone, and casting himself on the ground at her feet, "I have given you too good reason to call me one." "Oh, I see!" returned Nycteris. "No, of course! you can't be a girl: girls are not afraid-without reason. I understand now: it is because you are not a girl that you are so frightened." Photogen twisted and writhed upon the grass. "No, it is not," he said sulkily; "it is this horrible darkness that creeps into me, goes all through me, into the very marrow of my bones-that is what makes me behave like a girl. If only the sun would rise!" "The sun! what is it?" cried Nycteris, now in her turn conceiving a vague fear. Then Photogen broke into a rhapsody, in which he vainly sought to forget his. "It is the soul, the life, the heart, the glory of the universe," he said. "The worlds dance like motes in his beams. The heart of man is strong and brave in his light, and when it departs his courage grows from him-goes with the sun, and he becomes such as you see me now." "Then that is not the sun?" said Nycteris, thoughtfully, pointing up to the moon. "That!" cried Photogen, with utter scorn; "I know nothing about that , except that it is ugly and horrible. At best it can be only the ghost of a dead sun. Yes, that is it! That is what makes it look so frightful." "No," said Nycteris, after a long, thoughtful pause; "you must be wrong there. I think the sun is the ghost of a dead moon, and that is how he is so much more splendid as you say.-Is there, then, another big room, where the sun lives in the roof?" "I do not know what you mean," replied Photogen. "But you mean to be kind, I know, though you should not call a poor fellow in the dark a girl. If you will let me lie here, with my head in your lap, I should like to sleep. Will you watch me, and take care of me?" "Yes, that I will," answered Nycteris, forgetting all her own danger. So Photogen fell asleep. CHAPTER XIV. THE SUN. There Nycteris sat, and there the youth lay, all night long, in the heart of the great cone-shadow of the earth, like two Pharaohs in one pyramid. Photogen slept, and slept; and Nycteris sat motionless lest she should wake him, and so betray him to his fear. The moon rode high in the blue eternity; it was a very triumph of glorious night; the river ran babble-murmuring in deep soft syllables; the fountain kept rushing moon-ward, and blossoming momently to a great silvery flower, whose petals were for ever falling like snow, but with a continuous musical clash, into the bed of its exhaustion beneath; the wind woke, took a run among the trees, went to sleep, and woke again; the daisies slept on their feet at hers, but she did not know they slept; the roses might well seem awake, for their scent filled the air, but in truth they slept also, and the odour was that of their dreams; the oranges hung like gold lamps in the trees, and their silvery flowers were the souls of their yet unembodied children; the scent of the acacia blooms filled the air like the very odour of the moon herself. At last, unused to the living air, and weary with sitting so still and so long, Nycteris grew drowsy. The air began to grow cool. It was getting near the time when she too was accustomed to sleep. She closed her eyes just a moment, and nodded-opened them suddenly wide, for she had promised to watch. In that moment a change had come. The moon had got round, and was fronting her from the west, and she saw that her face was altered, that she had grown pale, as if she too were wan with fear, and from her lofty place espied a coming terror. The light seemed to be dissolving out of her; she was dying-she was going out! And yet everything around looked strangely clear-clearer than ever she had seen anything before: how could the lamp be shedding more light when she herself had less? Ah, that was just it! See how faint she looked! It was because the light was forsaking her, and spreading itself over the room, that she grew so thin and pale! She was giving up everything! She was melting away from the roof like a bit of sugar in water. Nycteris was fast growing afraid, and sought refuge with the face upon her lap. How beautiful the creature was!-what to call it she could not think, for it had been angry when she called it what Watho called her. And, wonder upon wonder! now, even in the cold change that was passing upon the great room, the colour as of a red rose was rising in the wan cheek. What beautiful yellow hair it was that spread over her lap! What great huge breaths the creature took! And what were those curious things it carried? She had seen them on her walls, she was sure. Thus she talked to herself while the lamp grew paler and paler, and everything kept growing yet clearer. What could it mean? The lamp was dying-going out into the other place of which the creature in her lap had spoken, to be a sun! But why were the things growing clearer before it was yet a sun? That was the point. Was it her growing into a sun that did it? Yes! yes! it was coming death! She knew it, for it was coming upon her also! She felt it coming! What was she about to grow into? Something beautiful, like the creature in her lap? It might be! Anyhow, it must be death; for all her strength was going out of her, while all around her was growing so light she could not bear it! She must be blind soon! Would she be blind or dead first? For the sun was rushing up behind her. Photogen woke, lifted his head from her lap, and sprang to his feet. His face was one radiant smile. His heart was full of daring-that of the hunter who will creep into the tiger's den. Nycteris gave a cry, covered her face with her hands, and pressed her eyelids close. Then blindly she stretched out her arms to Photogen, crying, "Oh, I am so frightened! What is this? It must be death! I don't wish to die yet. I love this room and the old lamp. I do not want the other place! This is terrible. I want to hide. I want to get into the sweet, soft, dark hands of all the other creatures. Ah me! ah me!" "What is the matter with you, girl?" said Photogen, with the arrogance of all male creatures until they have been taught by the other kind. He stood looking down upon her over his bow, of which he was examining the string. "There is no fear of anything now, child. It is day. The sun is all but up. Look! he will be above the brow of yon hill in one moment more! Good-bye. Thank you for my night's lodging. I'm off. Don't be a goose. If ever I can do anything for you-and all that, you know!" "Don't leave me; oh, don't leave me!" cried Nycteris. "I am dying! I am dying! I cannot move. The light sucks all the strength out of me. And oh, I am so frightened!" But already Photogen had splashed through the river, holding high his bow that it might not get wet. He rushed across the level, and strained up the opposing hill. Hearing no answer, Nycteris removed her hands. Photogen had reached the top, and the same moment the sunrays alighted upon him: the glory of the king of day crowded blazing upon the golden-haired youth. Radiant as Apollo, he stood in mighty strength, a flashing shape in the midst of flame. He fitted a glowing arrow to a gleaming bow. The arrow parted with a keen musical twang of the bowstring, and Photogen darting after it, vanished with a shout. Up shot Apollo himself, and from his quiver scattered astonishment and exultation. But the brain of poor Nycteris was pierced through and through. She fell down in utter darkness. All around her was a flaming furnace. In despair and feebleness and agony, she crept back, feeling her way with doubt and difficulty and enforced persistence to her cell. When at last the friendly darkness of her chamber folded her about with its cooling and consoling arms, she threw herself on her bed and fell fast asleep. And there she slept on, one alive in a tomb, while Photogen, above in the sun-glory, pursued the buffaloes on the lofty plain, thinking not once of her where she lay dark and forsaken, whose presence had been his refuge, her eyes and her hands his guardians through the night. He was in his glory and his pride; and the darkness and its disgrace had vanished for a time. CHAPTER XV. THE COWARD HERO. But no sooner had the sun reached the noonstead, than Photogen began to remember the past night in the shadow of that which was at hand, and to remember it with shame. He had proved himself-and not to himself only, but to a girl as well-a coward!-one bold in the daylight, while there was nothing to fear, but trembling like any slave when the night arrived. There was, there must be, something unfair in it! A spell had been cast upon him! He had eaten, he had drunk something that did not agree with courage! In any case he had been taken unprepared! How was he to know what the going down of the sun would be like? It was no wonder he should have been surprised into terror, seeing it was what it was-in its very nature so terrible! Also. one could not see where danger might be coming from! You might be torn in pieces, carried off, or swallowed up, without even seeing where to strike a blow! Every possible excuse he caught at, eager as a self-lover to lighten his self-contempt. That day he astonished the huntsmen-terrified them with his reckless darings-all to prove to himself he was no coward. But nothing eased his shame. One thing only had hope in it-the resolve to encounter the dark in solemn earnest, now that he knew something of what it was. It was nobler to meet a recognized danger than to rush contemptuously into what seemed nothing-nobler still to encounter a nameless horror. He could conquer fear and wipe out disgrace together. For a marksman and swordsman like him, he said, one with his strength and courage, there was but danger. Defeat there was not. He knew the darkness now, and when it came he would meet it as fearless and cool as now he felt himself. And again he said, "We shall see!" He stood under the boughs of a great beech as the sun was going down, far away over the jagged hills: before it was half down, he was trembling like one of the leaves behind him in the first sigh of the night-wind. The moment the last of the glowing disc vanished, he bounded away in terror to gain the valley, and his fear grew as he ran. Down the side of the hill, an abject creature, he went bounding and rolling and running; fell rather than plunged into the river, and came to himself, as before, lying on the grassy bank in the garden. But when he opened his eyes, there were no girl-eyes looking down into his; there were only the stars in the waste of the sunless Night-the awful all-enemy he had again dared, but could not encounter. Perhaps the girl was not yet come out of the water! He would try to sleep, for he dared not move, and perhaps when he woke he would find his head on her lap, and the beautiful dark face, with its deep blue eyes, bending over him. But when he woke he found his head on the grass, and although he sprang up with all his courage, such as it was, restored, he did not set out for the chase with such an elan as the day before; and, despite the sun-glory in his heart and veins, his hunting was this day less eager; he ate little, and from the first was thoughtful even to sadness. A second time he was defeated and disgraced! Was his courage nothing more than the play of the sunlight on his brain? Was he a mere ball tossed between the light and the dark? Then what a poor contemptible creature he was! But a third chance lay before him. If he failed the third time, he dared not foreshadow what he must then think of himself! It was bad enough now-but then! Alas! it went no better. The moment the sun was down, he fled as if from a legion of devils. Seven times in all, he tried to face the coming night in the strength of the past day, and seven times he failed-failed with such increase of failure, with such a growing sense of ignominy, overwhelming at length all the sunny hours and joining night to night, that, what with misery, self-accusation, and loss of confidence, his daylight courage too began to fade, and at length, from exhaustion, from getting wet, and then lying out of doors all night, and night after night,-worst of all, from the consuming of the deathly fear, and the shame of shame, his sleep forsook him, and on the seventh morning, instead of going to the hunt, he crawled into the castle, and went to bed. The grand health, over which the witch had taken such pains, had yielded, and in an hour or two he was moaning and crying out in delirium. CHAPTER XVI. AN EVIL NURSE. Watho was herself ill, as I have said, and was the worse tempered; and, besides, it is a peculiarity of witches, that what works in others to sympathy, works in them to repulsion. Also, Watho had a poor, helpless, rudimentary spleen of a conscience left, just enough to make her uncomfortable, and therefore more wicked. So, when she heard that Photogen was ill, she was angry. Ill, indeed! after all she had done to saturate him with the life of the system, with the solar might itself! He was a wretched failure, the boy! And because he was her failure, she was annoyed with him, began to dislike him, grew to hate him. She looked on him as a painter might upon a picture, or a poet, upon a poem, which he had only succeeded in getting into an irrecoverable mess. In the hearts of witches, love and hate lie close together, and often tumble over each other. And whether it was that her failure with Photogen foiled also her plans in regard to Nycteris, or that her illness made her yet more of a devil's wife, certainly Watho now got sick of the girl too, and hated to know her about the castle. She was not too ill, however, to go to poor Photogen's room and torment him. She told him she hated him like a serpent, and hissed like one as she said it, looking very sharp in the nose and chin, and flat in the forehead. Photogen thought she meant to kill him, and hardly ventured to take anything brought him. She ordered every ray of light to be shut out of his room; but by means of this he got a little used to the darkness. She would take one of his arrows, and now tickle him with the feather end of it, now prick him with the point till the blood ran down. What she meant finally I cannot tell, but she brought Photogen speedily to the determination of making his escape from the castle: what he should do then he would think afterwards. Who could tell but he might find his mother somewhere beyond the forest! If it were not for the broad patches of darkness that divided day from day, he would fear nothing! But now, as he lay helpless in the dark, ever and anon would come dawning through it the face of the lovely creature who on that first awful night nursed him so sweetly: was he never to see her again? If she was, as he had concluded, the nymph of the river, why had she not re-appeared? She might have taught him not to fear the night, for plainly she had no fear of it herself! But then, when the day came, she did seem frightened:-why was that, seeing there was nothing to be afraid of then? Perhaps one so much at home in the darkness, was correspondingly afraid of the light! Then his selfish joy at the rising of the sun, blinding him to her condition, had made him behave to her, in ill return for her kindness, as cruelly as Watho behaved to him! How sweet and dear and lovely she was! If there were wild beasts that came out only at night, and were afraid of the light, why should there not be girls too, made the same way-who could not endure the light, as he could not bear the darkness? If only he could find her again! Ah, how differently he would behave to her! But alas! perhaps the sun had killed her-melted her-burned her up!-dried her up-that was it, if she was the nymph of the river! CHAPTER XVII WATHO'S WOLF. From that dreadful morning Nycteris had never got to be herself again. The sudden light had been almost death to her; and now she lay in the dark with the memory of a terrific sharpness-a something she dared scarcely recall, lest the very thought of it should sting her beyond endurance. But this was as nothing to the pain which the recollection of the rudeness of the shining creature whom she had nursed through his fear caused her; for, the moment his suffering passed over to her, and he was free, the first use he made of his returning strength had been to scorn her! She wondered and wondered; it was all beyond her comprehension. Before long, Watho was plotting evil against her. The witch was like a sick child weary of his toy: she would pull her to pieces, and see how she liked it. She would set her in the sun, and see her die, like a jelly from the salt ocean cast out on a hot rock. It would be a sight to soothe her wolf-pain. One day, therefore, a little before noon, while Nycteris was in her deepest sleep, she had a darkened litter brought to the door, and in that she made two of her men carry her to the plain above. There they took her out, laid her on the grass, and left her. Watho watched it all from the top of her high tower, through her telescope; and scarcely was Nycteris left, when she saw her sit up, and the same moment cast herself down again with her face to the ground. "She'll have a sunstroke," said Watho, "and that'll be the end of her." Presently, tormented by a fly, a huge-humped buffalo, with great shaggy mane, came galloping along, straight for where she lay. At sight of the thing on the grass, he started, swerved yards aside, stopped dead, and then came slowly up, looking malicious. Nycteris lay quite still, and never even saw the animal. "Now she'll be trodden to death!" said Watho. "That's the way those creatures do." When the buffalo reached her, he sniffed at her all over, and went away; then came back, and sniffed again; then all at once went off as if a demon had him by the tail. Next came a gnu, a more dangerous animal still, and did much the same; then a gaunt wild boar. But no creature hurt her, and Watho was angry with the whole creation. At length, in the shade of her hair, the blue eyes of Nycteris began to come to themselves a little, and the first thing they saw was a comfort. I have told already how she knew the night-daisies, each a sharp-pointed little cone with a red tip; and once she had parted the rays of one of them, with trembling fingers, for she was afraid she was dreadfully rude, and perhaps was hurting it; but she did want, she said to herself, to see what secret it carried so carefully hidden; and she found its golden heart. But now, right under her eyes, inside the veil of her hair, in the sweet twilight of whose blackness she could see it perfectly, stood a daisy with its red tip opened wide into a carmine ring, displaying its heart of gold on a platter of silver. She did not at first recognize it as one of those cones come awake, but a moment's notice revealed what it was. Who then could have been so cruel to the lovely little creature, as to force it open like that, and spread it heart-bare to the terrible death-lamp? Whoever it was, it must be the same that had thrown her out there to be burned to death in its fire! But she had her hair, and could hang her head, and make a small sweet night of her own about her! She tried to bend the daisy down and away from the sun, and to make its petals hang about it like her hair, but she could not. Alas! it was burned and dead already! She did not know that it could not yield to her gentle force because it was drinking life, with all the eagerness of life, from what she called the death-lamp. Oh, how the lamp burned her! But she went on thinking-she did not know how; and by and by began to reflect that, as there was no roof to the room except that in which the great fire went rolling about, the little Red-tip must have seen the lamp a thousand times, and must know it quite well! and it had not killed it! Nay, thinking about farther, she began to ask the question whether this, in which she now saw it, might not be its more perfect condition. For not only now did the whole seem perfect, as indeed it did before, but every part showed its own individual perfection as well, which perfection made it capable of combining with the rest into the higher perfection of a whole. The flower was a lamp itself! The golden heart was the light, and the silver border was the alabaster globe, skilfully broken, and spread wide to let out the glory. Yes; the radiant shape was plainly its perfection! If, then, it was the lamp which had opened it into that shape, the lamp could not be unfriendly to it, but must be of its own kind, seeing it made it perfect! And again, when she thought of it, there was clearly no little resemblance between them. What if the flower then was the little great-grandchild of the lamp, and he was loving it all the time? And what if the lamp did not mean to hurt her, only could not help it? The red lips looked as if the flower had some time or other been hurt: what if the lamp was making the best it could of her-opening her out somehow like the flower? She would bear it patiently, and see. But how coarse the colour of the grass was! Perhaps, however, her eyes not being made for the bright lamp, she did not see them us they were! Then she remembered how different were the eyes of the creature that was not a girl and was afraid of the darkness! Ah, if the darkness would only come again, all arms, friendly and soft everywhere about her! She would wait and wait, and bear, and be patient. She lay so still that Watho did not doubt she had fainted. She was pretty sure she would be dead before the night came to revive her. CHAPTER XVIII. REFUGE. Fixing her telescope on the motionless form, that she might see it at once when the morning came, Watho went down from the tower to Photogen's room. He was much better by this time, and before she left him, he had resolved to leave the castle that very night. The darkness was terrible indeed, but Watho was worse than even the darkness, and he could not escape in the day. As soon, therefore, as the house seemed still, he tightened his belt, hung to it his hunting-knife, put a flask of wine and some bread in his pocket, and took his bow and arrows. He got from the house, and made his way at once up to the plain. But what with his illness, the terrors of the night, and his dread of the wild beasts, when he got to the level he could not walk a step further, and sat down, thinking it better to die than to live. In spite of his fears, however, sleep contrived to overcome him, and he fell at full length on the soft grass. He had not slept long when he woke with such a strange sense of comfort and security, that he thought the dawn at least must have arrived. But it was dark night about him. And the sky-no, it was not the sky, but the blue eyes of his naiad looking down upon him! Once more he lay with his head in her lap, and all was well, for plainly the girl feared the darkness as little as he the day. "Thank you," he said. "You are like live armour to my heart; you keep the fear off me. I have been very ill since then. Did you come up out of the river when you saw me cross?" "I don't live in the water," she answered. "I live under the pale lamp, and I die under the bright one." "Ah, yes! I understand now," he returned. "I would not have behaved as I did last time if I had understood; but I thought you were mocking me; and I am so made that I cannot help being frightened at the darkness. I beg your pardon for leaving you as I did, for, as I say, I did not understand. Now I believe you were really frightened. Were you not?" "I was, indeed," answered Nycteris, "and shall be again. But why you should be, I cannot in the least understand. You must know how gentle and sweet the darkness is, how kind and friendly, how soft and velvety! It holds you to its bosom and loves you. A little while ago, I lay faint and dying under your hot lamp.-What is it you call it?" "The sun," murmured Photogen: "how I wish he would make haste!" "Ah! do not wish that. Do not, for my sake, hurry him. I can take care of you from the darkness, but I have no one to take care of me from the light.-As I was telling you, I lay dying in the sun. All at once I drew a deep breath. A cool wind came and ran over my face. I looked up. The torture was gone, for the death-lamp itself was gone. I hope he does not die and grow brighter yet. My terrible headache was all gone, and my sight was come back. I felt as if I were new made. But I did not get up at once, for I was tired still. The grass grew cool about me, and turned soft in colour. Something wet came upon it, and it was now so pleasant to my feet, that I rose and ran about. And when I had been running about a long time, all at once I found you lying, just as I had been lying a little while before. So I sat down beside you to take care of you, till your life-and my death-should come again." "How good you are, you beautiful creature!-Why, you forgave me before ever I asked you!" cried Photogen. Thus they fell a talking, and he told her what he knew of his history, and she told him what she knew of hers, and they agreed they must get away from Watho as far as ever they could. "And we must set out at once," said Nycteris. "The moment the morning comes," returned Photogen. "We must not wait for the morning," said Nycteris, "for then I shall not be able to move, and what would you do the next night? Besides, Watho sees best in the daytime. Indeed, you must come now, Photogen.-You must." "I can not; I dare not," said Photogen. "I cannot move. If I but lift my head from your lap, the very sickness of terror seizes me." "I shall be with you," said Nycteris soothingly. "I will take care of you till your dreadful sun comes, and then you may leave me, and go away as fast as you can. Only please put me in a dark place first, if there is one to be found." "I will never leave you again, Nycteris," cried Photogen. "Only wait till the sun comes, and brings me back my strength, and we will go away together, and never, never part any more." "No, no," persisted Nycteris; "we must go now. And you must learn to be strong in the dark as well as in the day, else you will always be only half brave. I have begun already-not to fight your sun, but to try to get at peace with him, and understand what he really is, and what he means with me-whether to hurt me or to make the best of me. You must do the same with my darkness." "But you don't know what mad animals there are away there towards the south," said Photogen. "They have huge green eyes, and they would eat you up like a bit of celery, you beautiful creature!" "Come, come! you must," said Nycteris, "or I shall have to pretend to leave you, to make you come. I have seen the green eyes you speak of, and I will take care of you from them." "You! How can you do that? If it were day now, I could take care of you from the worst of them. But as it is, I can't even see them for this abominable darkness. I could not see your lovely eyes but for the light that is in them; that lets me see straight into heaven through them. They are windows into the very heaven beyond the sky. I believe they are the very place where the stars are made." "You come then, or I shall shut them," said Nycteris, "and you shan't see them any more till you are good. Come. If you can't see the wild beasts, I can." "You can! and you ask me to come!" cried Photogen. "Yes," answered Nycteris. "And more than that, I see them long before they can see me, so that I am able to take care of you." "But how?" persisted Photogen. "You can't shoot with bow and arrow, or stab with a hunting-knife." "No, but I can keep out of the way of them all. Why, just when I found you, I was having a game with two or three of them at once. I see, and scent them too, long before they are near me-long before they can see or scent me." "You don't see or scent any now, do you?" said Photogen, uneasily, rising on his elbow." "No-none at present. I will look," replied Nycteris, and sprang to her feet. "Oh, oh! do not leave me-not for a moment," cried Photogen, straining his eyes to keep her face in sight through the darkness. "Be quiet, or they will hear you," she returned. "The wind is from the south, and they cannot scent us. I have found out all about that. Ever since the dear dark came, I have been amusing myself with them, getting every now and then just into the edge of the wind, and letting one have a sniff of me." "Oh, horrible!" cried Photogen. "I hope you will not insist on doing so any more. What was the consequence?" "Always, the very instant, he turned with flashing eyes, and hounded towards me-only he could not see me, you must remember. But my eyes being so much better than his, I could see him perfectly well, and would run away round him until I scented him, and then I knew he could not find me anyhow. If the wind were to turn, and run the other way now, there might be a whole army of them down upon us, leaving no room to keep out of their way. You had better come." She took him by the hand. He yielded and rose, and she led him away. But his steps were feeble, and as the night went on, he seemed more and more ready to sink. "Oh dear! I am so tired! and so frightened!" he would say. "Lean on me," Nycteris would return, putting her arm round him, or patting his cheek. "Take a few steps more. Every step away from the castle is clear gain. Lean harder on me. I am quite strong and well now." So they went on. The piercing night-eyes of Nycteris descried not a few pairs of green ones gleaming like holes in the darkness, and many a round she made to keep far out of their way; but she never said to Photogen she saw them. Carefully she kept him off the uneven places, and on the softest and smoothest of the grass, talking to him gently all the way as they went-of the lovely flowers and the stars-how comfortable the flowers looked, down in their green beds, and how happy the stars up in their blue beds! When the morning began to come, he began to grow better, but was dreadfully tired with walking instead of sleeping, especially after being so long ill. Nycteris too, what with supporting him, what with growing fear of the light which was beginning to ooze out of the east, was very tired. At length, both equally exhausted, neither was able to help the other. As if by consent they stopped. Embracing each the other, they stood in the midst of the wide grassy land, neither of them able to move a step, each supported only by the leaning weakness of the other, each ready to fall if the other should move. But while the one grew weaker still, the other had begun to grow stronger. When the tide of the night began to ebb, the tide of the day began to How; and now the sun was rushing to the horizon, borne upon its foaming billows. And ever as he came, Photogen revived. At last the sun shot up into the air, like a bird from the hand of the Father of Lights. Nycteris gave a cry of pain, and hid her face in her hands. "Oh me!" she sighed; "I am so frightened! The terrible light stings so!" But the same instant, through her blindness, she heard Photogen give a low exultant laugh, and the next wit herself caught up: she who all night long had tended and protected him like a child, was now in his arms, borne along like a baby, with her head lying on his shoulder. But she was the greater, for, suffering more, she feared nothing. CHAPTER XIX. THE WEREWOLF. At the Very moment when Photogen caught up Nycteris, the telescope of Watho was angrily sweeping the table-land. She swung it from her in rage, and running to her room, shut herself up. There she anointed herself from top to toe with a certain ointment; shook down her long red hair, and tied it round her waist; then began to dance, whirling round and round faster and faster, growing angrier and angrier, until she was foaming at the mouth with fury. When Falca went looking for her, she could not find her anywhere. As the sun rose, the wind slowly changed and went round, until it blew straight from the north. Photogen and Nycteris were drawing near the edge of the forest, Photogen still carrying Nycteris, when she moved a little on his shoulder uneasily, and murmured in his ear, "I smell a wild beast-that way, the way the wind is coming." Photogen turned, looked back towards the castle, and saw a dark speck on the plain. As he looked, it grew larger: it was coming across the grass with the speed of the wind. It came nearer and nearer. It looked long and low, but that might be because it was running at a great stretch. He set Nycteris down under a tree, in the black shadow of its bole, strung his bow, and picked out his heaviest, longest, sharpest arrow. Just as he set the notch on the string, he saw that the creature was a tremendous wolf, rushing straight at him. He loosened his knife in its sheath, drew another arrow half-way from the quiver, lest the first should fail, and took his aim-at a good distance, to leave time for a second chance. He shot. The arrow rose, flew straight, descended, struck the beast, and started again into the air, doubled like a letter V. Quickly Photogen snatched the other, shot, cast his bow from him, and drew his knife. But the arrow was in the brute's chest, up to the feather; it tumbled heels over head with a great thud of its back on the earth, gave a groan, made a struggle or two, and lay stretched out motionless. "I've killed it, Nycteris," cried Photogen. "It is a great red wolf." "Oh, thank you!" answered Nycteris feebly from behind the tree. "I was sure you would. I was not a bit afraid." Photogen went up to the wolf. It was a monster! But he was vexed that his first arrow had behaved so badly, and was the less willing to lose the one that had done him such good service: with a long and a strong pull, he drew it from the brute's chest. Could he believe his eyes? There lay-no wolf, but Watho, with her hair tied round her waist! The foolish witch had made herself invulnerable, as she supposed, but had forgotten that, to torment Photogen therewith, she had handled one of his arrows. He ran back to Nycteris and told her. She shuddered and wept, and would not look. CHAPTER XX. ALL IS WELL. There was now no occasion to fly a step farther. Neither of them feared any one but Watho. They left her there, and went back. A great cloud came over the sun, and rain began to fall heavily, and Nycteris was much refreshed, grew able to see a little, and with Photogen's help walked gently over the cool wet grass. They had not gone far before they met Fargu and the other huntsmen. Photogen told them he had killed a great red wolf, and it was Madam Watho. The huntsmen looked grave, but gladness shone through. "Then," said Fargu, "I will go and bury my mistress." But when they reached the place, they found she was already buried-in the maws of sundry birds and beasts which had made their breakfast of her. Then Fargu, overtaking them, would, very wisely, have Photogen go to the king, and tell him the whole story. But Photogen, yet wiser than Fargu, would not set out until he had married Nycteris; "for then," he said, "the king himself can't part us; and if ever two people couldn't do the one without the other, those two are Nycteris and I. She has got to teach me to be a brave man in the dark, and I have got to look after her until she can bear the heat of the sun, and he helps her to see, instead of blinding her." They were married that very day. And the next day they went together to the king, and told him the whole story. But whom should they find at the court but the father and mother of Photogen, both in high favour with the king and queen. Aurora nearly died for joy, and told them all how Watho had lied, and made her believe her child was dead. No one knew anything of the father or mother of Nycteris; but when Aurora, saw in the lovely girl her own azure eyes shining through night and its clouds, it made her think strange things, and wonder how even the wicked themselves may be a link to join together the good. Through Watho, the mothers, who had never seen each other, had changed eyes in their children. The king gave them the castle and lands of Watho, and there they lived and taught each other for many years that were not long. But hardly had one of them passed, before Nycteris had come to love the day best, because it was the clothing and crown of Photogen, and she saw that the day was greater than the night, and the sun more lordly than the moon; and Photogen had come to love the night best, because it was the mother and home of Nycteris. "But who knows," Nycteris would say to Photogen, "that, when we go out, we shall not go into a day as much greater than your day as your day is greater than my night?" THE BUTCHER'S BILLS. CHAPTER I. HUSBAND AND WIFE. I am going to tell a story of married life. My title will prepare the reader for something hardly heroic; but I trust it will not be found lacking in the one genuine and worthy interest a tale ought to have-namely, that it presents a door through which we may walk into one region or another of the human heart, and there find ourselves not altogether unacquainted or from home. There was a law among the Jews which forbade the yoking together of certain animals, either because, being unequal in size or strength, one of them must be oppressed, or for the sake of some lesson thus embodied to the Eastern mind-possibly for both reasons. Half the tragedy would be taken out of social life if this law could be applied to human beings in their various relations. I do not say that this would be well, or that we could afford to lose the result of the tragedy thus occasioned. Neither do I believe that there are so many instances of unequal yoking as the misprising judgments of men by men and women by women might lead us to imagine. Not every one declared by the wisdom of acquaintance to have thrown himself or herself away must therefore be set down as unequally yoked. Or it may even be that the inequality is there, but the loss on the other side. How some people could ever have come together must always be a puzzle until one knows the history of the affair; but not a few whom most of us would judge quite unsuited to each other do yet get on pretty well from, the first, and better and better the longer they are together, and that with mutual advantage, improvement, and development. Essential humanity is deeper than the accidents of individuality; the common is more powerful than the peculiar; and the honest heart will always be learning to act more and more in accordance with the laws of its being. It must be of much more consequence to any lady that her husband should be a man on whose word she can depend than that he should be of a gracious presence. But if instead of coming nearer to a true understanding of each other, the two should from the first keep falling asunder, then something tragic may almost be looked for. Duncan and Lucy Dempster were a couple the very mention of whose Christian names together would have seemed amusing to the friends who had long ceased to talk of their unfitness. Indeed, I doubt if in their innermost privacy they ever addressed each other except as Mr. and Mrs. Dempster. For the first time to see them together, no one could help wondering how the conjunction could have been effected. Dempster was of Scotch descent, but the hereditary high cheek-bone seemed to have got into his nose, which was too heavy a pendant for the low forehead from which it hung. About an inch from the end it took a swift and unexpected curve downwards, and was a curious and abnormal nose, which could not properly be assorted with any known class of noses. A long upper lip, a large, firm, and not quite ugly mouth, with a chin both long and square, completed a face which, with its low forehead, being yet longer than usual, had a particularly equine look. He was rather under the middle height, slender, and well enough made-altogether an ordinary mortal, known on 'Change as an able, keen, and laborious man of business. What his special business was I do not know. He went to the city by the eight o'clock omnibus every morning, dived into a court, entered a little square, rushed up two flights of stairs to a couple of rooms, and sat down in the back one before an office table on a hair-seated chair. It was a dingy place-not so dirty as it looked, I daresay. Even the windows, being of bad glass, did, I believe, look dirtier than they were. It was a place where, so far as the eye of an outsider could tell, much or nothing might be doing. Its occupant always wore his hat in it, and his hat always looked shabby. Some people said he was rich, others that he would be one day. Some said he was a responsible man, whatever the epithet may have been intended to mean. I believe he was quite as honest as the recognized laws of his trade demanded-and for how many could I say more? Nobody said he was avaricious-but then he moved amongst men whose very notion was first to make money, after that to be religious, or to enjoy themselves, as the case might be. And no one either ever said of him that he was a good man, or a generous. He was about forty years of age, looking somehow as if he had never been younger. He had had a fair education-better than is generally considered necessary for mercantile purposes-but it would have been hard to discover any signs of it in the spending of his leisure. On Sunday mornings he went with his wife to church, and when he came home had a good dinner, of which now and then a friend took his share. If no stranger was present he took his wine by himself, and went to sleep in his easy chair of marone-coloured leather, while his wife sat on the other side of the fire if it was winter, or a little way off by the open window if it was summer, gently yawned now and then, and looked at him with eyes a little troubled. Then he went off again by the eight o'clock omnibus on Monday morning, and not an idea more or less had he in his head, not a hair's-breadth of difference was there in his conduct or pursuits, that he had been to church and had spent the day out of business. That may, however, for anything I know, have been as much the clergyman's fault as his. He was the sort of man you might call machine-made, one in whom humanity, if in no wise caricatured, was yet in no wise ennobled. His wife was ten years younger than he-hardly less than beautiful-only that over her countenance seemed to have gathered a kind of haze of commonness. At first sight, notwithstanding, one could not help perceiving that she was china and he was delft. She was graceful as she sat, long-necked, slope-shouldered, and quite as tall as her husband, with a marked daintiness about her in the absence of the extremes of the fashion, in the quality of the lace she wore on her black silk dress, and in the wide white sleeves of fine cambric that covered her arms from the shoulder to the wrist. She had a morally delicate air, a look of scrupulous nicety and lavender-stored linen. She had long dark lashes; and when they rose, the eyelids revealed eyes of uncommon beauty. She had good features, good teeth, and a good complexion. The main feeling she produced and left was of ladyhood-little more. Sunday afternoon came fifty-two times in the year. I mention this because then always, and nearly then only, could one calculate on seeing them together. It came to them in a surburb of London, and the look of it was dull. Doubtless Mr. Dempster's dinner and his repose after it were interesting to him, but I cannot help thinking his wife found it dreary. She had, however, got used to it. The house was a good old one, of red brick, much larger than they required, but not expensive, and had a general look of the refinement of its mistress. In the summer the windows of the dining-room would generally be open, for they looked into a really lovely garden behind the house, and the scent of the jasmine that crept all around them would come in plentifully. I wonder what the scent of jasmine did in Duncan Dempster's world. Perhaps it never got farther than the general ante-chamber of the sensorium. It often made his wife sad-she could not tell why. To him I daresay it smelt agreeable, but I can hardly believe it ever woke in him that dreamy sensation it gave her-of something she had not had enough of, she could not say what. When the heat was gone off a little he would walk out on the lawn, which was well kept and well watered, with many flowering shrubs about it. Why he did so, I cannot tell. He looked at nothing in particular, only walked about for a few minutes, no doubt derived some pleasure of a mild nature from something, and walked in again to tea. One might have expected he would have cultivated the acquaintance of his garden a little, if it were only for the pleasure the contrast would give him when he got back to his loved office, for a greater contrast could not well have been found than between his dingy dreary haunt on weekdays-a place which nothing but duty could have made other than repugnant to any free soul-and this nest of greenery and light and odour. Sweet scents floated in clouds invisible about the place; flower eyes and stars and bells and bunches shone and glowed and lurked all around; his very feet might have learned a lesson of that which is beyond the sense from the turf he trod; but all the time, if he were not exactly seeing in his mind's eye the walls and tables of his office in the City square, his thoughts were not the less brooding over such business as he there transacted. For Mr. Dempster's was not a free soul. How could it be when all his energies were given to making money? This he counted his calling -and I believe actually contrived to associate some feeling of duty with the notion of leaving behind him a plump round sum of money, as if money in accumulation and following flood, instead of money in peaceful current, were the good thing for the world! Hence the whole realm of real life, the universe of thought and growth, was a high-hedged park to him, within which he never even tried to look-not even knowing that he was shut out from it, for the hedge was of his own growing. What shall ever wake such a man to a sense of indwelling poverty, or make him begin to hunger after any lowliest expansion? Does a reader retort, "The man was comfortable, and why should he be troubled?" If the end of being, I answer, is only comfort in self, I yield. But what if there should be at the heart of the universe a Thought to which the being of such men is distasteful? What if to that Thought they look blots in light, ugly things? May there not lie in that direction some possible reason why they should bethink themselves? Dempster, however, was not yet a clinker out of which all the life was burned, however much he looked like one. There was in him that which might yet burn-and give light and heat. On the Sunday evenings Mrs. Dempster would have gladly gone to church again, if only-though to herself she never allowed this for one of her reasons-to slip from under the weight of her husband's presence. He seldom spoke to her more than a sentence at a time, but he did like to have her near him, and I suppose held, through the bare presence, some kind of dull one-sided communication with her; what did a woman know about business? and what did he know about except business? It is true he had a rudimentary pleasure in music-and would sometimes ask her to play to him, when he would listen, and after his fashion enjoy. But although here was a gift that might be developed until his soul could echo the music of the spheres, the embodied souls of Handel or Mendelssohn were to him but clouds of sound wrapped about kernels-let me say of stock or bonds. For a year or so after their marriage it had been the custom that, the first thing after breakfast on Monday morning, she should bring him her account-book, that they might together go over her week's expenses. She must cultivate the business habits in which, he said, he found her more than deficient. How could he endure in a wife what would have been preposterous in a clerk, and would have led to his immediate dismissal? It was in his eyes necessary that the same strict record of receipt and expenditure should be kept in the household as in the office; how else was one to know in what direction things were going? he said. He required of his wife, therefore, that every individual thing that cost money, even to what she spent upon her own person, should be entered in her book. She had no money of her own, neither did he allow her any special sum for her private needs; but he made her a tolerably liberal weekly allowance, from which she had to pay everything except house-rent and taxes, an arrangement which I cannot believe a good one, as it will inevitably lead some conscientious wives to self-denial severer than necessary, and on the other hand will tempt the vulgar nature to make a purse for herself by mean savings off everybody else. It was especially distasteful to Mrs. Dempster to have to set down every little article of personal requirement that she bought. It would probably have seemed to her but a trifle had they both been young when they married, and had there been that tenderness of love between them which so soon sets everything more than right; but as it was, she could never get over the feeling that the man was strange to her. As it was she would have got over this. But there was in her a certain constitutional lack of precision, combined with a want of energy and a weakness of will, that rendered her more than careless where her liking was not interested. Hence, while she would have been horrified at playing a wrong note or singing out of tune, she not only had no anxiety, for the thing's own sake, to have her accounts correct, but shrunk from every effort in that direction. Now I can perfectly understand her recoil from the whole affair, with her added dislike to the smallness of the thing required of her; but seeing she did begin with doing it after a fashion, it is not so easy to understand why, doing it, she should not make a consolation of doing it with absolute exactness. Not even her dread of her husband's dissatisfaction-which was by no means small-could prevail to make her, instead of still trusting a memory that constantly played her false, put down a thing at once, nor postpone it to a far less convenient season. Hence it came that her accounts, though never much out, never balanced; and the weekly audit, while it grew more and more irksome to the one, grew more and more unsatisfactory to the other. For to Mr. Dempster's dusty eyes exactitude wore the robe of rectitude, and before long, precisely and merely from the continued unsatisfactory condition of her accounts, he began, in a hidden corner of his righteous soul, to reflect on the moral condition of his wife herself as unsatisfactory. Now such it certainly was, but he was not the man to judge it correctly, or to perceive the true significance of her failing. In business, while scrupulous as to the requirements of custom and recognized right, he nevertheless did things from which her soul would have recoiled like "the tender horns of cockled snails;" yet it was to him not merely a strange and inexplicable fact that she should never be able to show to a penny, nay, often not to a shilling or eighteenpence, how the week's allowance went, but a painful one as indicating something beyond perversity. And truly it was no very hard task he required of her, for, seeing they had no children, only three servants, and saw little company, her housekeeping could not be a very heavy or involved affair. Perhaps if it had been more difficult she would have done it better, but anyhow she hated the whole thing, procrastinated, and setting down several things together, was sure to forget some article or mistake some price; yet not one atom more would she distrust her memory the next time she was tempted. But it was a small fault at worst, and if her husband had loved her enough to understand the bearings of it in relation to her mental and moral condition he would have tried to content himself that at least she did not exceed her allowance; and would of all things have avoided making such a matter a burden upon the consciousness of one so differently educated, if not constituted, from himself. It is but fair to add on the other side that, if she had loved him after anything like a wifely ideal, which I confess was not yet possible to her, it would not have been many weeks before she had a first correct account to show him. Convinced, at length, that accuracy was not to be had from her, and satisfying himself with dissatisfaction, he one morning threw from him the little ruled book, and declared, in a wrath which he sought to smother into dignified but hopeless rebuke, that he would trouble himself with her no further. She burst into tears, took up the book, left the room, cried a little, resolved to astonish him the next Monday, and never set down another item. When it came, and breakfast was over, he gave her the usual cheque, and left at once for town. Nor had the accounts ever again been alluded to between them. Now this might have been very well, or at least not very ill, if both had done tolerably well thereafter-that is, if the one had continued to attend to her expenditure as well as before, and the other, when he threw away the account-book, had dismissed from his mind the whole matter. But Dempster was one of those dangerous men-more dangerous, however, to themselves than to others-who never forget, that is, get over, an offence or disappointment. They respect themselves so much, and, out of their respect for themselves, build so much upon success, set so ranch by never being defeated but always gaining their point, that when they are driven to confess themselves foiled, the confession is made from the "poor dumb mouth" of a wound that cannot be healed. It is there for ever-will be there at least until they find another God to worship than their own paltry selves. Hence it came that the bourn between the two spiritual estates yawned a little wider at one point, and a mist of dissatisfaction would not unfrequently rise from a certain stagnant pool in its hollow. The cause was paltry in one sense, but nothing to which belongs the name of Cause can fail to mingle the element of awfulness even with its paltriness. Its worst effect was that it hindered approximation in other parts of their marching natures. And as to Mrs. Dempster, I am sorry for the apparent justification which what I have to confess concerning her must give to the severe whims of such husbands as hers: from that very Monday morning she began to grow a little careless about her expenditure-which she had never been before. By degrees bill after bill was allowed to filch from the provision of the following week, and when that was devoured, then from that of the week after. It was not that she was in the least more expensive upon herself, or that she consciously wasted anything; but, altogether averse to housekeeping, she ceased to exercise the same outlook upon the expenditure of the house, did not keep her horses together, left the management more and more to her cook; while the consciousness that she was not doing her duty made her more and more uncomfortable, and the knowledge that things were going farther and farther wrong, made her hate the idea of accounts worse and worse, until she came at length to regard them with such a loathing as might have fitted some extreme of moral evil. The bills which were supposed by her husband to be regularly settled every week were at last months behind, and the week's money spent in meeting the most pressing of its demands, while what it could no longer cover was cast upon the growing heap of evil for the time to come. I must say this for her, however, that there was a small sum of money she expected on the death of a crazy aunt, which, if she could but lay hold of it without her husband's knowledge, she meant to devote to the clearing off of everything, when she vowed to herself to do better in the time to come. The worst thing in it all was that her fear of her husband kept increasing, and that she felt more and more uncomfortable in his presence. Hence that troubled look in her eye, always more marked when her husband sat dozing in his chair of a Sunday afternoon. It was natural, too, that, although they never quarrelled, their intercourse should not grow of a more tender character. Seldom was there a salient point in their few scattered sentences of conversation, except, indeed, it were some piece of news either had to communicate. Occasionally the wife read something from the newspaper, but never except at her husband's request. In general he enjoyed his newspaper over a chop at his office. Two or three times since their marriage-now eight years-he had made a transient resolve pointing at the improvement of her mind, and to that end had taken from his great glass-armoured bookcase some standard work-invariably, I believe, upon party-politics-from which he had made her read him a chapter. But, unhappily, she had always got to the end of it without gaining the slightest glimmer of a true notion of what the author was driving at. It almost moves me to pity to think of the vagueness of that rudimentary humanity in Mr. Dempster which made him dream of doing something to improve his wife's mind. What did he ever do to improve his own? It is hard to understand how horses find themselves so comfortable in their stables that, be the day ever so fine, the country ever so lovely, the air ever so exhilarating, they are always rejoiced to get back into their dull twilight: it is harder to me to understand how Mr. Dempster could be so comfortable in his own mind that he never wanted to get out of it, even at the risk of being beside himself; but no doubt the dimness of its twilight had a good deal to do with his content. And then there is that in every human mind which no man's neighbour, nay, no man himself, can understand. My neighbour may in his turn be regarding my mind as a gloomy place to live in, while I find it no undesirable residence-though chiefly because of the number of windows it affords me for looking out of it. Still, if Dempster's dingy office in the City was not altogether a sufficing type of the mind that used it, I consider it a very fairly good one. But wherein was Mrs. Dempster so very different from her husband as I rudely fancy some of my readers imagining her? Whatever may have been her reasons for marrying him-one would suppose they must have been weighty-to do so she must have been in a very undeveloped condition, and in that condition she still remained. I do not mean that she was less developed than ninety-nine out of the hundred: most women affect me only as valuable crude material out of which precious things are making. How much they might be, must be, shall be! For now they stand like so many Lot's-wives-so many rough-hewn marble blocks, rather, of which a Divinity is shaping the ends. Mrs. Dempster had all the making of a lovely woman, but notwithstanding her grace, her beauty, her sweetness, her lark-like ballading too, she was a very ordinary woman in that region of her which knew what she meant when she said "I." Of this fact she had hardly a suspicion, however; for until aspiration brings humility, people are generally pretty well satisfied with themselves, having no idea what poor creatures they are. She saw in her mirror a superior woman, regarded herself as one of the finer works of creation. The worst was that from the first she had counted herself superior to her husband, and in marrying him had felt not merely that she was conferring a favour, which every husband would allow, but that she was lowering herself without elevating him. Now it is true that she was pleasanter to look at, that her manners were sweeter, and her notions of the becoming far less easily satisfied than his; also that she was a little less deficient in vague reverence for certain forms of the higher than he. But I know of nothing in her to determine her classification as of greater value than he, except indeed that she was on the whole rather more honest. She read novels and he did not; she passed shallow judgment, where he scorned to judge; she read all the middling poetry that came in her way, and copied books full of it; but she could no more have appreciated one of Milton's or Shakspere's smallest poems than she could have laughed over a page of Chinese. She liked to hear this and that popular preacher, and when her husband called his sermons humbug, she heard it with a shocked countenance; but was she better or worse than her husband when, admiring them as she did, she permitted them to have no more influence upon her conduct than if they had been the merest humbug ever uttered by ambitious demagogue? In truth, I cannot see that in the matter of worth there was much as yet to choose between them. It is hardly necessary, then, to say that there was little appreciable approximation of any kind going on between them. If only they would have read Dickens together! Who knows what might have come of it! But this dull close animal proximity, without the smallest conscious nearness of heart or mind or soul-and so little chance, from very lack of wants, for showing each other kindnesses-surely it is a killing sort of thing! And yet, and yet, there is always a something-call it habit, or any poorest name you please-grows up between two who are much together, at least when they neither quarrel nor thwart each other's designs, which, tending with its roots towards the deeper human, blossoms into-a wretched little flower indeed, yet afar off partaking of the nature of love. The Something seldom reveals its existence until they are parted. I suspect that with not a few, Death is the love-messenger at the stroke of whose dart the stream of love first begins to flow in the selfish bosom. It is now necessary to mention a little break in the monotony of Mrs. Dempster's life, which, but for what came afterwards, could claim no record. One morning her page announced Major Strong, and possibly she received the gentleman who entered with a brighter face than she had ever shown her husband. The major had just arrived from India. He had been much at her father's house while she was yet a mere girl, being then engaged to one of her sisters, who died after he went abroad, and before he could return to marry her. He was now a widower, a fine-looking, frank, manly fellow. The expression of his countenance was little altered, and the sight of him revived in the memory of Mrs. Dempster many recollections of a happy girlhood, when the prospect of such a life as she now led with tolerable content would have seemed simply unendurable. When her husband came home she told him as much as he cared to hear of the visitor she had had, and he made no objection to her asking him to dine the next Sunday. When he arrived Mr. Dempster saw a man of his own age, bronzed and big, with not much waist left, but a good carriage and pleasant face. He made himself agreeable at dinner, appreciated his host's wine, and told good stories that pleased the business man as showing that he knew "what was what." He accorded him his more particular approval, speaking to his wife, on the ground that he was a man of the world, with none of the army slang about him. Mr. Dempster was not aware that he had himself more business peculiarities than any officer in her majesty's service had military ones. After this Major Strong frequently called upon Mrs. Dempster. They were good friends, and did each other no harm whatever, and the husband neither showed nor felt the least jealousy. They sang together, occasionally went out shopping, and three or four times went together to the play. Mr. Dempster, so long as he had his usual comforts, did not pine in his wife's absence, but did show a little more pleasure when she came home to him than usually when he came home to her. This lasted for a few months. Then the major went back to India, and for a time the lady missed him a good deal, which, considering the dulness of her life, was not very surprising or reprehensible. CHAPTER II. AN ASTONISHMENT. Now comes the strange part of my story. One evening the housemaid opened the door to Mr. Dempster on his return from the city; and perhaps the fact that it was the maid, and not the page as usual, roused his observation, which, except in business matters, was not remarkably operative. He glanced at the young woman, when an eye far less keen than his could not have failed to remark a strangely excited expression on her countenance. "Where is the boy?" he asked. "Just run to the doctor's, sir," she answered. Then first he remembered that when he left in the morning his wife had not been feeling altogether well, but he had never thought of her since. "How is your mistress?" he said. "She's rather poorly, sir, but-but-she's as well as could be expected." "What does the fool mean?" said Dempster to himself, and very nearly said it aloud, for he was not over polite to any in his service. But he did not say it aloud. He advanced into the hall with deliberation, and made for the stair. "Oh, please sir," the maid cried in a tone of perturbation, when, turning from shutting the door, she saw his intention, "you can't go up to mis'ess's room just at this minute, sir. Please go in the dining-room, sir." "What do you mean?" he asked, turning angrily upon the girl, for of all things he hated mystery. Like every one else in the house, and office both, she stood in awe of him, and his look frightened her. "Please go in the dining-room," she gasped entreatingly. "What!" he said and did turn towards the dining-room, "is your mistress so ill she can't see me?" "Oh, no, sir!-at least I don't know exactly. Cook's with her, sir. She's over the worst, anyhow." "What on earth do you mean, girl? Speak out, will you? What is the matter with your mistress?" As he spoke he stepped into the room, the maid following him. The same moment he spied a whitish bundle of something on the rug in front of the fire. "What do you mean by leaving things like that in the dining-room?" he went on more angrily still. "Please, sir," answered the girl, going and lifting the bundle carefully, "it's the baby!" "The baby!" shouted Mr. Dempster, and looked at her from head to foot. "What baby?" Then bethinking himself that it must belong to some visitor in the drawing-room with his wife, he moderated his tone. "Make haste; take it away!" he said. "I don't want babies here! There's a time and a place for everything!-What are you about?" For, instead of obeying her master and taking it away, the maid was carefully looking in the blanket for the baby. Having found it and turned aside the covering from its face, she came nearer, and holding up the little vision, about the size and colour of a roll of red wax taper, said:- "Look at it, sir! It's your own, and worth looking at." Never before had she dared speak to him so! I will not venture to assert that Mr. Dempster turned white, but his countenance changed, and he dropped into the chair behind him, feeling less of a business man than had been his consciousness for the last twenty years. He was hit hard. The absolutely Incredible had hit him. Babies might be born in a day, but surely not without previous preparation on the part of nature at least, if not on that of the mother; and in this case if the mother had prepared herself, certainly she had not prepared him for the event. It was as if the treasure of Nature's germens were tumbling all together. His head swam. He could not speak a word. "Yes, sir," the maid went on, relieved of her trepidation in perceiving that her master too was mortal, and that her word had such power over him-proud also of knowing more of his concerns than he did himself, "she was took about an hour and a half ago. We've kep' sendin' an' sendin' after the doctor, but he ain't never been yet; only cook, she knows a deal an' she says she's been very bad, sir. But the young gentleman come at last, bless him! and now she's doin' as well as could be expected, sir-cook says." "God bless me!" said the astonished father, and relapsed into the silence of bewilderment. Eight years married with never a glimmer of offspring-and now, all at once, and without a whisper of warning, the father of a "young gentleman!" How could it be other than perplexing-discomposing, indeed!-yet it was right pleasant too. Only it would have been more pleasant if experience could have justified the affair! Nature-no, not Nature-or, if Nature, then Nature sure in some unnatural mood, had stolen a march upon him, had gone contrary to all that had ever been revealed of her doings before! and why had she pitched on him-just him, Duncan Dempster, to exercise one of her more grotesque and wayward moods upon?-to play at hide-and-seek with after this fashion? She had not treated him with exactly proper respect, he thought, or, rather vaguely felt. "Business is business," he remarked, under his breath, "and this cannot be called proper business behaviour. What is there about me to make game of? Really, my wife ought-" What his wife ought or ought not to have done, however, had not yet made itself clear to him, and his endeavour to excogitate being in that direction broken off, gave way to the pleasure of knowing himself a father, or perhaps more truly of having an heir. In the strength of it he rose, went to the cellaret, and poured himself out a glass of his favourite port, which he sat down to drink in silence and meditation. He was rather a picture just then and there, though not a very lovely one, seated, with his hat still on his head, in the middle of the room, upon a chair half-way between the dining-table and the sideboard, with his glass of wine in his hand. He was pondering partly the pleasure, but still mainly the peculiarity of his position. A bishop once told me that, shortly after he had been raised to the episcopal dignity, a friend's horses, whose driver had tumbled off the box drunk, ran away with him, and upset the carriage. He crept out of the window over his head, and the first thought that came to him as he sat perched on the side of the carriage, while it was jumbled along by the maddened horses, was, "What do bishops do in such circumstances?" Equally perplexing was the question Dempster had to ask himself: how husbands who, after being married eight years, suddenly and unexpectedly received the gift of a first-born, were in the habit of comporting themselves! He poured himself out another glass, and with it came the reflection, both amusing and consoling, that his brother, who was confidently expecting his tidy five figures to crown the earthly bliss of one or more of his large family some day, would be equally but less agreeably surprised. "Serve him right!" he said to himself. "What business have they to be looking out for my death?" And for a moment the heavens appeared a little more just than he was ordinarily in the habit of regarding them. He said to himself he would work harder than ever now. There would now be some good in making money! He had never given his mind to it yet, he said: now the world should see what he could do when he did give his mind to it! Hitherto gathering had been his main pleasure, but with the thought of his money would now not seldom be mingled the thought of the little thing in the blanket! He began to find himself strangely happy. I use the wrong phrase-for the fact is, he had never yet found himself at all; he knew nothing of the person except a self-painted and immensely flattered portrait that hung in the innermost chamber of his heart-I mean the innermost chamber he knew anything of: there were many chambers there of which he did not even know the doors. Yet a few minutes as he sat there, and he was actually cherishing a little pride in the wife who had done so much better for him than he had at length come to expect. If not a good accountant, she was at least a good wife, and a very fair housekeeper: he had no doubt she would prove a good mother. He would gladly have gone to her at once, to let her know how much he was pleased with her behaviour. As for that little bit of red clay-"terra cotta," he called it to himself, as he looked round with a smile at the blanket, which the housemaid had replaced on the rug before the fire-who could imagine him a potentate upon 'Change-perhaps in time a director of European affairs! He was not in the way of joking-of all things about money; the very thought, of business filled him from top to toe with seriousness; but he did make that small joke, and accompany it with a grim smile. He was startled from his musing by the entrance of the doctor, who had in the meantime arrived and seen the lady, and now came to look at the baby. He congratulated Mr. Dempster on having at length a son and heir, but warned him that his wife was far from being beyond danger yet. The whole thing was entirely out of the common, he said, and she must be taken the greatest possible care of. The words woke a gentle pity in the heart of the man, for by nature all men have some tenderness for women in such circumstances, but they did not trouble him greatly-for such dangers belonged to their calling, their business in life, and, doubtless, if she had attended to that business earlier she would have found it easier. "Did you ever know such a thing before, doctor?" he asked, with the importance of one honoured by a personal visit from the Marvellous. "Never in my own practice," answered the doctor, whom the cook had instructed in the wonders of the case, "but I have read of such a thing." And Mr. Dempster swelled like a turkey-cock. It was several days before he was allowed to see the mother. Perhaps had she expressed a strong desire to see him, it might have been risked sooner, but she had neither expressed nor manifested any. He kissed her, spoke a few stupid words in a kind tone, asking her how she did, but paying no heed to her answer, and turned aside to look, at the baby. Mrs. Dempster recovered but slowly, and not very satisfactorily. She did not seem to care much about the child. She tried to nurse him, but was not very successful. She took him when the nurse brought him, and yielded him again with the same indifference, showing neither pleasure to receive nor unwillingness to part with him. The nurse did not fail to observe it and remark upon it: she had never seen a mother care so little for her child! there was little of the mother in her any way! it was no wonder she was so long about it. It troubled the father a little that she should not care for his child: some slight fermentation had commenced in the seemingly dead mass of human affection that had lain so long neglected in his being, and it seemed strange to him that, while he was living for the child in the City, she should be so indifferent to him at home. For already he had begun to keep his vow, already his greater keenness in business was remarked in the City. But it boded little good for either that the gift of God should stir up in him the worship of Mammon. More sons are damned by their fathers' money than by anything else whatever outside of themselves. There was the excuse to be made for Mrs. Dempster that she continued far from strong-and her husband made it: he would have made it more heartily if he had himself ever in his life known what it was to be ill. By degrees she grew stronger, however, until, to persons who had not known her before, she would have seemed in tolerable health. For a week or two after she was again going about the house, she continued to nurse the baby, but after that she became unable to do so, and therewith began to neglect him entirely. She never asked to see him, and when the nurse brought him would turn her head aside, and tell her to take it away. So far from his being a pleasure to her, the very sight of the child brought the hot dew upon her forehead. Her husband frowned and wondered, but, unaccustomed to open his mind either to her or to any one else, not unwisely sought to understand the thing before speaking of it, and in the meantime commenced a genuine attempt to make up to the baby for his mother's neglect. Almost without a notion how even to take him in his arms, he would now send for him the moment he had had his tea, and after a fashion, ludicrous in the eyes of the nurse, would dandle and caress him, and strut about with him before his wife, glancing up at her every now and then, to point the lesson that such was the manner in which a parent ought to behave to a child. In his presence she never made any active show of her dislike, but her look seemed all the time fixed on something far away, as if she had nothing to do with the affair. CHAPTER III. ANOTHER ASTONISHMENT. But a second and very different astonishment awaited Mr. Dempster. Again one evening, on his return from the City, he saw a strange look on the face of the girl who opened the door-but this time it was a look of fear. "Well?" he said, in a tone at once alarmed and peremptory. She made no answer, but turned whiter than before. "Where is your mistress?" he demanded. "Nobody knows, sir," she answered. "Nobody knows! What would you have me understand by such an answer?" "It's the bare truth, sir. Nobody knows where she is." "God bless me!" cried the husband. "What does it all mean?" And again he sunk down upon a chair-this time in the hall, and stared at the girl as if waiting further enlightenment. But there was little enough to be had. Only one point was clear: his wife was nowhere to be found. He sent for every one in the house, and cross-questioned each to discover the last occasion on which she had been seen. It was some time since she had been missed; how long before that she had been seen there was no certainty to be had. He ran to the doctor, then from one to another of her acquaintance, then to her mother, who lived on the opposite side of London. She, like the rest, could tell him nothing. In her anxiety she would have gone back with him, but he was surly, and would not allow her. It was getting towards morning before he reached home, but no relieving news awaited him. What to think was as much a perplexity to him as what to do. He was not in the agony in which a man would have been who thoroughly loved his wife, but he cared enough about her to feel uncomfortable; and the cries of the child, who was suffering from some ailment, made him miserable: in his perplexity and dull sense of helplessness he wondered whether she might not have given the baby poison before she went. Then the thing would make such a talk! and, of all things, Duncan Dempster hated being talked about. How busy people's brains would be with all his affairs! How many explanations of the mystery would be suggested on 'Change! Some would say, "What business had a man like him with a fine lady for a wife? one so much younger than himself too!" He could remember making the same remark of another, before he was married. "Served him right!" they would say. And with that the first movement of suspicion awoke in him-purely and solely from his own mind's reflection of the imagined minds of others. While in his mind's ear he heard them talking, almost before he knew what they meant the words came to him: "There was that Major Strong, you know!" "She's gone to him!" he cried aloud, and, springing from the bed on which he had thrown himself, he paced the chamber in a fury. He had no word for it but hers that he was now in India! They had only been waiting till-By heaven, that child was none of his! And therewith rushed into his mind the conviction that everything was thus explained. No man ever yet entertained an unhappy suspicion, but straightway an army of proofs positive came crowding to the service of the lie. It is astounding with what manifest probability everything will fall in to prove that a fact which has no foundation whatever! There is no end to the perfection with which a man may fool himself while taking absolute precautions against being fooled by others. Every fact, being a living fact, has endless sides and relations; but of all these, the man whose being hangs upon one thought, will see only those sides and relations which fall in with that thought. Dempster even recalled the words of the maid, "It's mis'ess's," as embodying the girl's belief that it was not master's. Where a man, whether by nature jealous or not, is in a jealous condition, there is no need of an Iago to parade before him the proofs of his wrong. It was because Shakespere would neither have Desdemona less than perfect, nor Othello other than the most trusting and least suspicious of men, that he had to invent an all but incredible villain to effect the needful catastrophe. But why should a man, who has cared so little for his wife, become instantly, upon the bare suspicion, so utter a prey to consuming misery? There was a character in his suffering which could not be attributed to any degree of anger, shame, or dread of ridicule. The truth was, there lay in his being a possibility of love to his wife far beyond anything his miserably stunted consciousness had an idea of; and the conviction of her faithlessness now wrought upon him in the office of Death, to let him know what he had lost. It magnified her beauty in his eyes, her gentleness, her grace; and he thought with a pang how little he had made of her or it. But the next moment wrath at the idea of another man's child being imposed upon him as his, with the consequent loss of his precious money, swept every other feeling before it. For by law the child was his, whoever might be the father of it. During a whole minute he felt on the point of tying a stone about its neck, carrying it out, and throwing it into the river Lea. Then, with the laugh of a hyena, he set about arranging in his mind the proofs of her guilt. First came eight childless years with himself; next the concealment of her condition, and the absurd pretence that she had known nothing of it; then the trouble of mind into which she had fallen; then her strange unnatural aversion to her own child; and now, last of all, conclusive of a guilty conscience, her flight from his house. He would give himself no trouble to find her; why should he search after his own shame! He would neither attempt to conceal nor to explain the fact that she had left him-people might say what they pleased-try him for murder if they liked! As to the child she had so kindly left to console him for her absence, he would not drown him, neither would he bring him up in his house; he would give him an ordinary education, and apprentice him to a trade. For his money, he would leave it to a hospital-a rich one, able to defend his will if disputed. For what was the child? A monster-a creature that had no right to existence! Not one of those who knew him best would have believed him capable of being so moved, nor did one of them now know it, for he hid his suffering with the success of a man not unaccustomed to make a mask of his face. There are not a few men who, except something of the nature of a catastrophe befall them, will pass through life without having or affording a suspicion of what is in them. Everything hitherto had tended to suppress the live elements of Duncan Dempster; but now, like the fire of a volcano in a land of ice, the vitality in him had begun to show itself. Sheer weariness drove him, as the morning began to break, to lie down again; but he neither undressed nor slept, and rose at his usual hour. When he entered the dining-room, where breakfast was laid as usual-only for one instead of two-he found by his plate, among letters addressed to his wife, a packet directed to himself. It had not been through the post, and the address was in his wife's hand. He opened it. A sheet of paper was wrapped around a roll of unpaid butcher's bills, amounting to something like eighty pounds, and a note from the butcher craving immediate settlement. On the sheet of paper was written, also in his wife's hand, these words: "I am quite unworthy of being your wife any longer;" that was all. Now here, to a man who had loved her enough to understand her, was a clue to the whole-to Dempster it was the strongest possible confirmation of what he had already concluded. To him it appeared as certain as anything he called truth, that for years, while keeping a fair face to her husband-a man who had never refused her anything-he did not recall the fact that almost never had she asked or he offered anything-she had been deceiving him, spending money she would not account for, pretending to pay everything when she had been ruining his credit with the neighbourhood, making him, a far richer man than any but himself knew, appear to be living beyond his means, when he was every month investing far more than he spent. It was injury upon injury! Then, as a last mark of her contempt, she had taken pains that these beggarly butcher's bills should reach him from her own hand! He would trouble himself about such a woman not a moment longer! He went from breakfast to his omnibus as usual, walked straight to his office, and spent the day according to custom. I need hardly say that the first thing he did was to write a cheque for the butcher. He made no further inquiry after her whatever, nor was any made of him there, for scarcely one of the people with whom he did business had been to his house, or had even seen his wife. In the suburb where he lived it was different; but he paid no heed to any inquiry, beyond saying he knew nothing about her. To her relatives he said that if they wanted her they might find her for themselves. She had gone to please herself, and he was not going to ruin himself by running about the world after her. Night after night he came home to his desolate house; took no comfort from his child; made no confession that he stood in need of comfort. But he had a dull sensation as if the sun had forsaken the world, and an endless night had begun. The simile, of course, is mine-the sensation only was his; he could never have expressed anything that went on in the region wherein men suffer. A few days made a marked difference in his appearance. He was a hard man; but not so hard as people had thought him; and besides, no man can rule his own spirit except he has the spirit of right on his side; neither is any man proof against the inroads of good. Even Lady Macbeth was defeated by the imagination she had braved. Add to this, that no man can, even by those who understand him best, be labelled as a box containing such and such elements, for the humanity in him is deeper than any individuality, and may manifest itself at some crisis in a way altogether beside expectation. His feeling was not at first of an elevated kind. After the grinding wrath had abated, self-pity came largely to the surface-not by any means a grand emotion, though very dear to boys and girls in their first consciousness of self, and in them pardonable enough. On the same ground it must be pardoned in a man who, with all his experience of the world, was more ignorant of the region of emotion, and more undeveloped morally, than multitudes of children: in him it was an indication that the shell was beginning to break. He said to himself that he was old beside her, and that she had begun to weary of him, and despise him. Gradually upon this, however, supervened at intervals a faint shadow of pity for her who could not have been happy or she would not have left him. Days and weeks passed, and there was no sign of Mrs. Dempster. The child was not sent out to nurse, and throve well enough. His father never took the least notice of him. CHAPTER IV. WHAT IT MEANT. Some of my readers, perhaps all of them, will have concluded that Mrs. Dempster was a little out of her mind. Such, indeed, was the fact, and one not greatly to be wondered at, after such a peculiar experience as she had had. Some small degree of congestion, and the consequent pressure on some portion of the brain, had sent certain faculties to sleep, and, perhaps, roused others into morbid activity. That it is impossible to tell where sanity ends and insanity begins, is a trite remark indeed; but like many things which it is useless to say, it has the more need to be thought of. If I yield to an impulse of which I know I shall be ashamed, is it not the act of a madman? And may not the act lead to a habit, and at length to a despised, perhaps feared and hated, old age, twisting at the ragged ends of a miserable life? However certain it is that mental disorder had to do with Mrs. Dempster's departure from her home, it is almost as certain she would never have gone had it not been for the unpaid bills haunting her consciousness, a combination of demon and ghost. The misery had all the time been growing upon her, and must have had no small share in the subversion of her microcosm. When that was effected, the evil thing that lay at the root of it all rose and pounced upon her. Wrong is its own avenger. She had been doing wrong, and knowingly for years, and now the plant of evil was blossoming towards its fruit. If one say the evil was but a trifle, I take her judgment, not his, upon that. She had been lazy towards duty, had persistently turned aside from what she knew to be her business, until she dared not even look at it. And now that the crisis was at hand, as omened by that letter from the butcher, with the sense of her wrong-doing was mingled the terror of her husband. What would he think, say, and do? Not yet had she, after all these years, any deep insight into his character; else perhaps she might have read there that, much as he loved money, the pleasure of seeing signal failure follow the neglect of his instructions would quite compensate him for the loss. What the bills amounted to, she had not an idea. Not until she had made up her mind to leave her home could she muster the courage to get them together. Then she even counted up the total and set down the sum in her memory-which sum thereafter haunted her like the name of her devil. As to the making up of her mind-she could remember very little of that process-or indeed of the turning of her resolve into action. She left the house in the plainest dress her wardrobe could afford her, and with just one half-crown in her pocket. Her design was to seek a situation, as a refuge from her husband and his wrath. It was a curious thing, that, while it gave her no trouble to leave her baby, whom indeed she had not that day seen, and to whom for some time she had ceased to be necessary, her only notion was to get a place as nurse. At that time, I presume, there were few or no such offices for engaging servants as are now common; at all events, the plan Mrs. Dempster took, when she had reached a part of London she judged sufficiently distant for her purpose, was to go from shop to shop inquiring after a situation. But she met with no prospect of success, and at last, greatly in need of rest and refreshment, went into a small coffee shop. The woman who kept it was taken by her appearance, her manners, and her evident trouble, and, happening to have heard of a lady who wanted a nurse, gave her the address. She went at once, and applied for the place. The lady was much pleased with her, and agreed to take her, provided she received a satisfactory character of her. For such a demand Mrs. Dempster was unprepared; she had never thought what reference she could give, and, her resources for deception easily exhausted, gave, driven to extremity, the name and address of her mother. So met the extremes of loss and salvation! She returned to the coffee shop, and the lady wrote at once to the address of the young woman's late mistress, as she supposed. The kindness of her new friend was not exhausted; she gave her a share of her own bed that night. Mrs. Dempster had now but two shillings, which she offered her, promising to pay her the rest out of the first wages she received. But the good woman would take no more than one of them, and that in full payment of what she owed her, and Mrs. Dempster left the shop in tears, to linger about the neighbourhood until the hour should arrive at which the lady had told her to call again. Apparently she must have cherished the hope that her mother, divining her extremity, would give her the character she could honestly claim. But as she drew near the door which she hoped would prove a refuge, her mother was approaching it also, and at the turning of a corner they ran into each other's arms. The elderly lady had a hackney coach waiting for her in the next street, and Mrs. Dempster, too tired to resist, got into it at once at her mother's desire. Ere they reached the mother's house, which, as I have said, was a long way from Mr. Dempster's, the daughter told everything, and the mother had perceived more than the daughter could tell: her eyes had revealed that all was not right behind them. She soothed her as none but a mother can, easily persuading her she would make everything right, and undertaking herself to pay the money owing to the butcher. But it was soon evident that for the present there must be no suggestion of her going back to her husband; for, imagining from something, that her mother was taking her to him, she jumped up and had all but opened the door of the cab when her mother succeeded in mastering her. As soon as she was persuaded that such had never been the intention, she was quiet. When they reached the house she was easily induced to go to bed at once. Her mother lived in a very humble way, with one servant, a trustworthy woman. To her she confided the whole story, and with her consulted as to what had better be done. Between them they resolved to keep her, for a while at least, in retirement and silence. To this conclusion they came on the following grounds: First, the daughter's terror and the mother's own fear of Mr. Dempster; next, it must be confessed, the resentment of both mistress and servant because of his rudeness when he came to inquire after her; third, the evident condition of the poor creature's mind; and last, the longing of the two women to have her to themselves, that they might nurse and cosset her to their hearts' content. They were to have more of this indulgence, however, than, for her sake, they would have desired, for before morning she was very ill. She had brain fever, in fact, and they had their hands full, especially as they desired to take every precaution to prevent the neighbourhood from knowing there was any one but themselves in the house. It was a severe attack, but she passed the crisis favourably, and began to recover. One morning, after a quieter night than usual, she called her mother, and told her she had had a strange dream-that she had a baby somewhere, but could not find him, and was wandering about looking for him. "Wasn't it a curious dream, mamma?" she said. "I wish it were a true one. I knew exactly what my baby was like, and went into house after house full of children, sure that I could pick him out of thousands. I was just going up to the door of the Foundling Hospital to look for him there when I woke." As she ceased, a strange trouble passed like a cloud over her forehead and eyes, and her hand, worn almost transparent by the fever followed it over forehead and eyes. She seemed trying to recall something forgotten. But her mother thought it better to say nothing. Each of the two nights following she had the same dream. "Three times, mother," she said. "I am not superstitious, as you know, but I can't help feeling as if it must mean something. I don't know what to make of it else-except it be that I haven't got over the fever yet. And, indeed, I am afraid my head is not quite right, for I can't be sure sometimes, such a hold has my dream of me, that I haven't got a baby somewhere about the world. Give me your hand, mother, and sing to me." Still her mother thought it more prudent to say nothing, and do what she could to divert her thoughts; for she judged it must be better to let her brain come right, as it were, of itself. In the middle of the next night she woke her with a cry. "O, mother, mother! I know it all now. I am not out of my mind any more. How I came here I cannot tell-but I know I have a husband and a baby at Hackney-and-oh, such a horrible roll of butcher's bills!" "Yes, yes, my dear! I know all about it," answered her mother. "But never mind; you can pay them all yourself now, for I heard only yesterday that your aunt Lucy is dead, and has left you the hundred pounds she promised you twenty years ago." "Oh, bless her!" cried Mrs. Dempster, springing out of bed, much to the dismay of her mother, who boded a return of the fever. "I must go home to my baby at once. But tell me all about it, mamma. How did I come here? I seem to remember being in a carriage with you, and that is the last I know." Then, upon condition that she got into bed at once, and promised not to move until she gave her leave, her mother consented to tell her all she knew. She listened in silence, with face flushed and eyes glowing, but drank a cooling draught, lay down again, and at daybreak was fast asleep. When she awoke she was herself again. CHAPTER V. WHAT CAME OF IT. Meantime, things were going, as they should, in rather a dull fashion with Duncan Dempster. His chariot wheels were gone, and he drove heavily. The weather was good; he seldom failed of the box-seat on the omnibus; a ray of light, the first he had ever seen there, visited his table, reflected from a new window on the opposite side of a court into the heart of his dismal back office; and best of all, business was better than usual. Yet was Dempster not cheerful. He was not, indeed, a man an acquaintance would ever have thought of calling cheerful; but in grays there are gradations; and however differently a man's barometer may be set from those of other people, it has its ups and downs, its fair weather and foul. But not yet had he an idea how much his mental equilibrium had been dependent upon the dim consciousness of having that quiet uninterested wife in the comfortable house at Hackney. It had been stronger than it seemed, the spidery, invisible line connecting that office and that house, along which had run twice a day the hard dumpling that dwelt in Mr. Dempster's bosom. Vaguely connected with that home after all must have been that endless careful gathering of treasure in the city; for now, though he could no more stop making money than he could stop breathing, it had not the same interest as formerly. Indeed, he had less interest than before in keeping his lungs themselves going. But he kept on doing everything as usual. Not one of the men he met ever said a word to him about his wife. The general impression was that she had left him for preferable society, and no one wondered at her throwing aside such "a dry old stick," whom even the devoted slaves of business contemned as having nothing in him but business. A further change was, however, in progress within him. The first sign of it was that he began to doubt whether his wife had indeed been false to him-had forsaken him in any other company than that of Death. But there was one great difficulty in the way of the conclusion. It was impossible for him to imagine suicide as proceeding from any cause but insanity, and what could have produced the disorder in one who had no cares or anxieties, everything she wanted, and nothing to trouble her, a devoted husband, and a happy home? Yet the mere idea made him think more pitifully, and so more tenderly of her than before. It had not yet occurred to him to consider whether he might not have had something to do with her conduct or condition. Blame was a thing he had never made acquaintance with-least of all in the form of self-blame. To himself he was simply all right-the poised centre of things capable of righteous judgment on every one else. But it must not be forgotten how little he knew about his own affairs at all; his was a very different condition from that of one who had closed his eyes and hardened his heart to suspicions concerning himself. His eyes had never yet been opened to anything but the order of things in the money world-its laws, its penalties, its rewards-those he did understand. But apparently he was worth troubling. A slow dissatisfaction was now preying upon him-a sense of want-of not having something he once had, a vague discomfort, growing restless. This feeling was no doubt the worse that the birth of the child had brought such a sudden rush of fresh interest into his occupation, which doubt concerning that birth had again so suddenly checked; but even if the child should prove after all his own, a supposition he was now willing to admit as possibly a true one, he could never without his mother feel any enthusiasm about him, even such enthusiasm as might be allowed to a man who knew money from moonshine, and common sense from hysterics. Yet once and again, about this time, the nurse coming into the room after a few minutes' absence, found him bending over the sleeping infant, and, as she described him, "looking as if he would have cried if he had only known how." One frosty evening in late autumn the forsaken husband came from London-I doubt if he would now have said "home"-as usual, on the top of the omnibus. His was a tough nature physically, as well as morally, and if he had found himself inside an omnibus he would have thought he was going to die. The sun was down. A green hue rose from the horizon half-way to the zenith, but a pale yellow lingered over the vanished sun, like the gold at the bottom of a chrysolite. The stars were twinkling small and sharp in the azure overhead. A cold wind blew in little gusts, now from this side, now from that, as they went steadily along. The horses' hoofs rang loud on the hard road. The night got hold of him: it was at this season, and on nights like these, that he had haunted the house of Lucy's father, doing his best to persuade her to make him, as he said, a happy man. It now seemed as if then, and then only, he had been a happy man. Certainly, of all his life, it was the time when he came nearest to having a peep out of the upper windows of the house of life. He had been a dweller in the lower regions, a hewer of wood to the god of the cellar; and after his marriage, he had gone straight down again to the temple of the earthy god-to a worship whose god and temple and treasure caves will one day drop suddenly from under the votary's feet, and leave him dangling in the air without even a pocket about him-without even his banker's book to show for his respectability. The night, I say, recalled the lovely season of his courtship, and again, in the mirror of loss, he caught a glimpse of things beyond him. Ah, if only that time and its hopes had remained with him! How different things would have been now! If Lucy had proved what he thought her!-remained what she seemed-the gentle, complaisant, yielding lady he imagined her, promising him a life of bliss! Alas, she would not even keep account of five pounds a week to please him! He never thought whether he, on his part, might not have, in some measure, come short of her expectations in a husband; whether she, the more lovely in inward design and outward fashion, might not have indulged yet more exquisite dreams of bliss which, by devotion to his ideal of life, he had done his part in disappointing. He only thought what a foolishness it all was; that thus it would go on to the end of the book; that youth after youth would have his turn of such a wooing, and such a disappointment. Sunsets, indeed! The suns of man's happiness never did anything but set! Out of money even-and who could say there was any poetry in that?-there was not half the satisfaction to be got that one expected. It was all a mess of expectations and disappointments mashed up together-nothing more. That was the world-on a fair judgment. Such were his reflections till the driver pulled up for him to get down at his own gate. As he got down the said driver glanced up curiously at the row of windows on the first floor, and as soon as Mr. Dempster's back was turned, pointed to them with the butt-end of his whip, and nodded queerly to the gentleman who sat on his other side. "That's more'n I've seen this six weeks," he said. "There's something more'n common up this evenin', sir." There was light in the drawing-room-that was all the wonder; but at those windows Mr. Dempster himself looked so fixedly that he had nearly stumbled up his own door-steps. He carried a latch-key now, for he did not care to stand at the door till the boy answered the bell; people's eyes, as they passed, seemed to burn holes in the back of his coat. He opened the street door quietly, and went straight up the stair to the drawing-room. Perhaps he thought to detect some liberty taken by his servants. He was a little earlier than usual. He opened that door, took two steps into the room, and stood arrested, motionless. With his shabby hat on his head, his shabby greatcoat on his back-for he grudged every penny spent on his clothes-his arms hanging down by his sides, and his knees bent, ready to tremble, he looked not a little out of keeping in the soft-lighted, dainty, delicate-hued drawing-room. Could he believe his eyes? The light of a large lamp was centred upon a gracious figure in white-his wife, just as he used to see her before he married her! That was the way her hair would break loose as she ran down the stair to meet him!-only then there was no baby in her lap for it to full over like a torrent of unlighted water over a white stone! It was a lovely sight. He had stood but a moment when she looked up and saw him. She started, but gave no cry louder than a little moan. Instantly she rose. Turning, she laid the baby on the sofa, and flitted to him like a wraith. Arrived where he stood yet motionless, she fell upon her knees and clasped his. He was far too bewildered now to ask himself what husbands did in such circumstances, and stood like a block. "Husband! husband!" she cried, "forgive me." With one hand she hid her face, although it was bent to the ground, and with the other held up to him a bit of paper. He took it from the thin white fingers; it might explain something-help him out of this bewilderment, half nightmare, half heavenly vision. He opened it. Nothing but a hundred-pound note! The familiar sight of bank paper, however, seemed to restore his speech. "What does this mean, Lucy? Upon my word! Permit me to say-" He was growing angry. "It is to pay the butcher," she said, with a faltering voice. "Damn the butcher!" he cried. "I hope you've got something else to say to me! Where have you been all this time?" "At my mother's. I've had a brain fever, and been out of my mind. It was all about the butcher's bill." Dempster stared. Perhaps he could not understand how a woman who would not keep accounts should be to such a degree troubled at the result of her neglect. "Look at me, if you don't believe me," she cried, and as she spoke she rose and lifted her face to his. He gazed at it for a moment-pale, thin, and worn; and out of it shone the beautiful eyes, larger than before, but shimmering uncertain like the stars of a humid night, although they looked straight into his. Something queer was suddenly the matter with his throat-something he had never felt before-a constriction such as, had he been superstitious, he might have taken for the prologue to a rope. Then the thought came-what a brute he must be that his wife should have been afraid to tell him her trouble! Thereupon he tried to speak, but his throat was irresponsive to his will. Eve's apple kept sliding up and down in it, and would not let the words out. He had never been so served by members of his own body in his life before! It was positive rebellion, and would get him into trouble with his wife. There it was! Didn't he say so? "Can't you forgive me, Mr. Dempster?" she said, and the voice was so sweet and so sad! "It is my own money. Aunt Lucy is dead, and left it me. I think it will be enough to pay all my debts; and I promise you-I do promise you that I will set down every halfpenny after this. Do try me once again-for baby's sake." This last was a sudden thought. She turned and ran to the sofa. Dempster stood where he was, fighting the strange uncomfortable feeling in his throat. It would not yield a jot. Was he going to die suddenly of choking? Was it a judgment upon him? Diphtheria, perhaps! It was much about in the City! She was back, and holding up to him their sleeping child. The poor fellow was not half the brute he looked-only he could not tell what to do with that confounded lump in his throat! He dared not try to speak, for it only choked him the more. He put his arms round them both, and pressed them to his bosom. Then, the lump in his throat melted and ran out at his eyes, and all doubt vanished like a mist before the sun. But he never knew that he had wept. His wife did, and that was enough. The next morning, for the first time in his life, he lost the eight o'clock omnibus. The following Monday morning she brought her week's account to him. He turned from it testily, but she insisted on his going over it. There was not the mistake of a halfpenny. He went to town with a smile in his heart, and that night brought her home a cheque for ten pounds instead of five. One day, in the middle of the same week, he came upon her sitting over the little blue-and-red-ruled book with a troubled countenance. She took no notice of his entrance. "Do leave those accounts," he said, "and attend to me." She shook her head impatiently, and made him no other answer. One moment more, however, and she started up, threw her arms about his neck, and cried triumphantly, "It's buttons!-fourpence-halfpenny I paid for buttons!" PORT IN A STORM "Papa," said my sister Effie, one evening as we all sat about the drawing-room fire. One after another, as nothing followed, we turned our eves upon her. There she sat, still silent, embroidering the corner of a cambric hand-kerchief, apparently unaware that she had spoken. It was a very cold night in the beginning of winter. My father had come home early, and we had dined early that we might have a long evening together, for it was my father's and mother's wedding-day, and we always kept it as the homeliest of holidays. My father was seated in an easy-chair by the chimney corner, with a jug of Burgundy near him, and my mother sat by his side, now and then taking a sip out of his glass. Effie was now nearly nineteen; the rest of us were younger. What she was thinking about we did not know then, though we could all guess now. Suddenly she looked up, and seeing all eyes fixed upon her, became either aware or suspicious, and blushed rosy red. "You spoke to me, Effie. What was it, my dear?" "O yes, papa. I wanted to ask you whether you wouldn't tell us, to-night, the story about how you-" "Well, my love?" "-About how you-" "I am listening, my dear." "I mean, about mamma and you." "Yes, yes. About how I got your mamma for a mother to you. Yes. I paid a dozen of port for her." We all and each exclaimed Papa ! and my mother laughed. "Tell us all about it," was the general cry. "Well, I will," answered my father. "I must begin at the beginning, though." And, filling his glass with Burgundy, he began. "As far back as I can remember, I lived with my father in an old manor-house in the country. It did not belong to my father, but to an elder brother of his, who at that time was captain of a seventy-four. He loved the sea more than his life; and, as yet apparently, had loved his ship better than any woman. At least he was not married. "My mother had been dead for some years, and my father was now in very delicate health. He had never been strong, and since my mother's death, I believe, though I was too young to notice it, he had pined away. I am not going to tell you anything about him just now, because it does not belong to my story. When I was about five years old, as nearly as I can judge, the doctors advised him to leave England. The house was put into the hands of an agent to let-at least, so I suppose; and he took me with him to Madeira, where he died. I was brought home by his servant, and by my uncle's directions, sent to a boarding-school; from there to Eton, and from there to Oxford. "Before I had finished my studies, my uncle had been an admiral for some time. The year before I left Oxford, he married Lady Georgiana Thornbury, a widow lady, with one daughter. Thereupon he bade farewell to the sea, though I dare say he did not like the parting, and retired with his bride to the house where he was born-the same house I told you I was born in, which had been in the family for many generations, and which your cousin now lives in. "It was late in the autumn when they arrived at Culverwood. They were no sooner settled than my uncle wrote to me, inviting me to spend Christmas-tide with them at the old place. And here you may see that my story has arrived at its beginning. "It was with strange feelings that I entered the house. It looked so old-fashioned, and stately, and grand, to eyes which had been accustomed to all the modern commonplaces! Yet the shadowy recollections which hung about it gave an air of homeliness to the place, which, along with the grandeur, occasioned a sense of rare delight. For what can be better than to feel that you are in stately company, and at the same time perfectly at home in it? I am grateful to this day for the lesson I had from the sense of which I have spoken-that of mingled awe and tenderness in the aspect of the old hall as I entered it for the first time after fifteen years, having left it a mere child. "I was cordially received by my old uncle and my new aunt. But the moment Kate Thornbury entered I lost my heart, and have never found it again to this day. I get on wonderfully well without it, though, for I have got the loan of a far better one till I find my own, which, therefore, I hope I never shall." My father glanced at my mother as he said this, and she returned his look in a way which I can now interpret as a quiet satisfied confidence. But the tears came in Effie's eyes. She had trouble before long, poor girl! But it is not her story I have to tell.-My father went on: "Your mother was prettier then than she is now, but not so beautiful; beautiful enough, though, to make me think there never had been or could again be anything so beautiful. She met me kindly, and I met her awkwardly." "You made me feel that I had no business there," said my mother, speaking for the first time in the course of the story. "See there, girls," said my father. "You are always so confident in first impressions, and instinctive judgment! I was awkward because, as I said, I fell in love with your mother the moment I saw her; and she thought I regarded her as an intruder into the old family precincts. "I will not follow the story of the days. I was very happy, except when I felt too keenly how unworthy I was of Kate Thornbury; not that she meant to make me feel it, for she was never other than kind; but she was such that I could not help feeling it. I gathered courage, however, and before three days were over, I began to tell her all my slowly reviving memories of the place, with my childish adventures associated with this and that room or outhouse or spot in the grounds; for the longer I was in the place the more my old associations with it revived, till I was quite astonished to find how much of my history in connection with Culverwood had been thoroughly imprinted on my memory. She never showed, at least, that she was weary of my stories; which, however interesting to me, must have been tiresome to any one who did not sympathize with what I felt towards my old nest. From room to room we rambled, talking or silent; and nothing could have given me a better chance, I believe, with a heart like your mother's. I think it was not long before she began to like me, at least, and liking had every opportunity of growing into something stronger, if only she too did not come to the conclusion that I was unworthy of her. "My uncle received me like the jolly old tar that he was-welcomed me to the old ship-hoped we should make many a voyage together-and that I would take the run of the craft-all but in one thing. "'You see, my boy,' he said, 'I married above my station, and I don't want my wife's friends to say that I laid alongside of her to get hold of her daughter's fortune. No, no, my boy; your old uncle has too much salt water in him to do a dog's trick like that. So you take care of yourself-that's all. She might turn the head of a wiser man than ever came out of our family.' "I did not tell my uncle that his advice was already too late; for that, though it was not an hour since I had first seen her, my head was so far turned already, that the only way to get it right again, was to go on turning it in the same direction; though, no doubt, there was a danger of overhauling the screw. The old gentleman never referred to the matter again, nor took any notice of our increasing intimacy; so that I sometimes doubt even now if he could have been in earnest in the very simple warning he gave me. Fortunately, Lady Georgiana liked me-at least I thought she did, and that gave me courage. "That's all nonsense, my dear," said my mother. "Mamma was nearly as fond of you as I was; but you never wanted courage." "I knew better than to show my cowardice, I dare say," returned my father. "But," he continued, "things grew worse and worse, till I was certain I should kill myself, or go straight out of my mind, if your mother would not have me. So it went on for a few days, and Christmas was at hand. "The admiral had invited several old friends to come and spend the Christmas week with him. Now you must remember that, although you look on me as an old-fashioned fogie-" "Oh, papa!" we all interrupted; but he went on. "Yet my old uncle was an older-fashioned fogie, and his friends were much the same as himself. Now, I am fond of a glass of port, though I dare not take it, and must content myself with Burgundy. Uncle Bob would have called Burgundy pig-wash. He could not do without his port, though he was a moderate enough man, as customs were. Fancy, then, his dismay when, on questioning his butler, an old coxen of his own, and after going down to inspect in person, he found that there was scarcely more than a dozen of port in the wine-cellar. He turned white with dismay, and, till he had brought the blood back to his countenance by swearing, he was something awful to behold in the dim light of the tallow candle old Jacob held in his tattooed fist. I will not repeat the words he used; fortunately, they are out of fashion amongst gentlemen, although ladies, I understand, are beginning to revive the custom, now old, and always ugly. Jacob reminded his honour that he would not have more put down till he had got a proper cellar built, for the one there was, he had said, was not fit to put anything but dead men in. Thereupon, after abusing Jacob for not reminding him of the necessities of the coming season, he turned to me, and began, certainly not to swear at his own father, but to expostulate sideways with the absent shade for not having provided a decent cellar before his departure from this world of dinners and wine, hinting that it was somewhat selfish, and very inconsiderate of the welfare of those who were to come after him. Having a little exhausted his indignation, he came up, and wrote the most peremptory order to his wine-merchant, in Liverpool, to let him have thirty dozen of port before Christmas Day, even if he had to send it by post-chaise. I took the letter to the post myself, for the old man would trust nobody but me, and indeed would have preferred taking it himself; but in winter he was always lame from the effects of a bruise he had received from a falling spar in the battle of Aboukir. "That night I remember well. I lay in bed wondering whether I might venture to say a word, or even to give a hint to your mother that there was a word that pined to be said if it might. All at once I heard a whine of the wind in the old chimney. How well I knew that whine! For my kind aunt had taken the trouble to find out from me what room I had occupied as a boy, and, by the third night I spent there, she had got it ready for me. I jumped out of bed, and found that the snow was falling fast and thick. I jumped into bed again, and began wondering what my uncle would do if the port did not arrive. And then I thought that, if the snow went on falling as it did, and if the wind rose any higher, it might turn out that the roads through the hilly part of Yorkshire in which Culverwood lay, might very well be blocked up. "The north wind doth blow, And we shall have Know, And what will my uncle do then, poor thing? He'll run for his port, But he will run short, And have too much water to drink, poor thing! "With the influences of the chamber of my childhood crowding upon me, I kept repenting the travestied rhyme to myself, till I fell asleep. "Now, boys and girls, if I were writing a novel, I should like to make you, somehow or other, put together the facts-that I was in the room I have mentioned; that I had been in the cellar with my uncle for the first time that evening; that I had seen my uncle's distress, and heard his reflections upon his father. I may add that I was not myself, even then, so indifferent to the merits of a good glass of port as to be unable to enter into my uncle's dismay, and that of his guests at last, if they should find that the snow-storm had actually closed up the sweet approaches of the expected port. If I was personally indifferent to the matter, I fear it is to be attributed to your mother, and not to myself." "Nonsense!" interposed my mother once more. "I never knew such a man for making little of himself and much of other people. You never drank a glass too much port in your life." "That's why I'm so fond of it, my dear," returned my father. "I declare you make me quite discontented with my pig-wash here. "That night I had a dream. "The next day the visitors began to arrive. Before the evening after, they had all come. There were five of them-three tars and two land-crabs, as they called each other when they got jolly, which, by-the-way, they would not have done long without me. "My uncle's anxiety visibly increased. Each guest, as he came down to breakfast, received each morning a more constrained greeting.-I beg your pardon, ladies; I forgot to mention that my aunt had lady-visitors, of course. But the fact is, it is only the port-drinking visitors in whom my story is interested, always excepted your mother. "These ladies my admiral uncle greeted with something even approaching to servility. I understood him well enough. He instinctively sought to make a party to protect him when the awful secret of his cellar should be found out. But for two preliminary days or so, his resources would serve; for he had plenty of excellent claret and Madeira-stuff I don't know much about-and both Jacob and himself condescended to manoeuvre a little. "The wine did not arrive. But the morning of Christmas Eve did. I was sitting in my room, trying to write a song for Kate-that's your mother, my dears-" "I know, papa," said Effie, as if she were very knowing to know that. "-when my uncle came into the room, looking like Sintram with Death and the Other One after him-that's the nonsense you read to me the other day, isn't it; Effie?" "Not nonsense, dear papa," remonstrated Effie; and I loved her for saying it, for surely that is not nonsense. "I didn't mean it," said my father; and turning to my mother, added: "It must be your fault, my dear, that my children are so serious that they always take a joke for earnest. However, it was no joke with my uncle. If he didn't look like Sintram he looked like t'other one. "'The roads are frozen-I mean snowed up,' he said. 'There's just one bottle of port left, and what Captain Calker will say-I dare say I know, but I'd rather not. Damn this weather!-God forgive me!-that's not right-but it is trying-ain't it, my boy?' "'What will you give me for a dozen of port, uncle?' was all my answer. "'Give you? I'll give you Culverwood, you rogue.' "'Done,' I cried. "'That is,' stammered my uncle, 'that is,' and he reddened like the funnel of one of his hated steamers, 'that is, you know, always provided, you know. It wouldn't be fair to Lady Georgiana, now, would it? I put it to yourself-if she took the trouble, you know. You understand me, my boy?' "'That's of course, uncle,' I said. "'Ah! I see you're a gentleman like your father, not to trip a man when he stumbles,' said my uncle. For such was the dear old man's sense of honour, that he was actually uncomfortable about the hasty promise he had made without first specifying the exception. The exception, you know, has Culverwood at the present hour, and right welcome he is. "'Of course, uncle,' I said-'between gentlemen, you know. Still, I want my joke out, too. What will you give me for a dozen of port to tide you over Christmas Day?' "'Give you, my boy? I'll give you-' "But here he checked himself, as one that had been burned already. "'Bah!' he said, turning his back, and going towards the door; 'what's the use of joking about serious affairs like this?' "And so he left the room. And I let him go. For I had heard that the road from Liverpool was impassable, the wind and snow having continued every day since that night of which I told you. Meantime, I had never been able to summon the courage to say one word to your mother-I beg her pardon, I mean Miss Thornbury. "Christmas Day arrived. My uncle was awful to behold. His friends were evidently anxious about him. They thought he was ill. There was such a hesitation about him, like a shark with a bait, and such a flurry, like a whale in his last agonies. He had a horrible secret which he dared not tell, and which yet would come out of its grave at the appointed hour. "Down in the kitchen the roast beef and turkey were meeting their deserts. Up in the store-room-for Lady Georgiana was not above housekeeping, any more than her daughter-the ladies of the house were doing their part; and I was oscillating between my uncle and his niece, making myself amazingly useful now to one and now to the other. The turkey and the beef were on the table, nay, they had been well eaten, before I felt that my moment was come. Outside, the wind was howling, and driving the snow with soft pats against the window-panes. Eager-eyed I watched General Fortescue, who despised sherry or Madeira even during dinner, and would no more touch champagne than he would eau sucree , but drank port after fish or with cheese indiscriminately-with eager eyes I watched how the last bottle dwindled out its fading life in the clear decanter. Glass after glass was supplied to General Fortescue by the fearless cockswain, who, if he might have had his choice, would rather have boarded a Frenchman than waited for what was to follow. My uncle scarcely ate at all, and the only thing that stopped his face from growing longer with the removal of every dish was that nothing but death could have made it longer than it was already. It was my interest to let matters go as far as they might up to a certain point, beyond which it was not my interest to let them go, if I could help it. At the same time I was curious to know how my uncle would announce-confess the terrible fact that in his house, on Christmas Day, having invited his oldest friends to share with him the festivities of the season, there was not one bottle more of port to had. "I waited till the last moment-till I fancied the admiral was opening his mouth; like a fish in despair, to make his confession. He had not even dared to make a confidante of his wife in such an awful dilemma. Then I pretended to have dropped my table-napkin behind my chair, and rising to seek it, stole round behind my uncle, and whispered in his ear: "'What will you give me for a dozen of port now, uncle?' "'Bah!' he said, 'I'm at the gratings; don't torture me.' "'I'm in earnest, uncle.' "He looked round at me with a sudden flash of bewildered hope in his eye. In the last agony he was capable of believing in a miracle. But he made me no reply. He only stared. "'Will you give me Kate? I want Kate,' I whispered. "'I will, my boy. That is, if she'll have you. That is, I mean to say, if you produce the true tawny.' "'Of course, uncle; honour bright-as port in a storm,' I answered, trembling in my shoes and everything else I had on, for I was not more than three parts confident in the result. "The gentlemen beside Kate happening at the moment to be occupied, each with the lady on his other side, I went behind her, and whispered to her as I had whispered to my uncle, though not exactly in the same terms. Perhaps I had got a little courage from the champagne I had drunk; perhaps the presence of the company gave me a kind of mesmeric strength; perhaps the excitement of the whole venture kept me up; perhaps Kate herself gave me courage, like a goddess of old, in some way I did not understand. At all events I said to her: "'Kate,'-we had got so far even then-'my uncle hasn't another bottle of port in his cellar. Consider what a state General Fortescue will be in soon. He'll be tipsy for want of it. Will you come and help me to find a bottle or two?' "She rose at once, with a white-rose blush-so delicate I don't believe any one saw it but myself. But the shadow of a stray ringlet could not fall on her cheek without my seeing it. "When we got into the hall, the wind was roaring loud, and the few lights were flickering and waving gustily with alternate light and shade across the old portraits which I had known so well as a child-for I used to think what each would say first, if he or she came down out of the frame and spoke to me. "I stopped, and taking Kate's hand, I said- "'I daren't let you come farther, Kate, before I tell you another thing: my uncle has promised, if I find him a dozen of port-you must have seen what a state the poor man is in-to let me say something to you-I suppose he meant your mamma, but I prefer saying it to you, if you will let me. Will you come and help me to find the port?' "She said nothing, but took up a candle that was on a table in the hall, and stood waiting. I ventured to look at her. Her face was now celestial rosy red, and I could not doubt that she had understood me. She looked so beautiful that I stood staring at her without moving. What the servants could have been about that not one of them crossed the hall, I can't think. "At last Kate laughed and said-'Well?' I started, and I dare say took my turn at blushing. At least I did not know what to say. I had forgotten all about the guests inside. 'Where's the port?' said Kate. I caught hold of her hand again and kissed it." "You needn't be quite so minute in your account, my dear," said my mother, smiling. "I will be more careful in future, my love," returned my father. "'What do you want me to do?' said Kate. "'Only to hold the candle for me,' I answered, restored to my seven senses at last; and, taking it from her, I led the way, and she followed, till we had passed through the kitchen and reached the cellar-stairs. These were steep and awkward, and she let me help her down." "Now, Edward!" said my mother. "Yes, yes, my love, I understand," returned my father. "Up to this time your mother had asked no questions; but when we stood in a vast, low cellar, which we had made several turns to reach, and I gave her the candle, and took up a great crowbar which lay on the floor, she said at last- "'Edward, are you going to bury me alive? or what are you going to do?' "'I'm going to dig you out,' I said, for I was nearly beside myself with joy, as I struck the crowbar like a battering-ram into the wall. You can fancy, John, that I didn't work the worse that Kate was holding the candle for me. "Very soon, though with great effort, I had dislodged a brick, and the next blow I gave into the hole sent back a dull echo. I was right! "I worked now like a madman, and, in a very few minutes more, I had dislodged the whole of the brick-thick wall which filled up an archway of stone and curtained an ancient door in the lock of which the key now showed itself. It had been well greased, and I turned it without much difficulty. "I took the candle from Kate, and led her into a spacious region of sawdust, cobweb, and wine-fungus. "'There, Kate!' I cried, in delight. "'But,' said Kate, 'will the wine be good?' "'General Fortescue will answer you that,' I returned, exultantly. 'Now come, and hold the light again while I find the port-bin.' "I soon found not one, but several well-filled port-bins. Which to choose I could not tell. I must chance that. Kate carried a bottle and the candle, and I carried two bottles very carefully. We put them down in the kitchen with orders they should not be touched. We had soon carried the dozen to the hall-table by the dining-room door. "When at length, with Jacob chuckling and rubbing his hands behind us, we entered the dining-room, Kate and I, for Kate would not part with her share in the joyful business, loaded with a level bottle in each hand, which we carefully erected on the sideboard, I presume, from the stare of the company, that we presented a rather remarkable appearance-Kate in her white muslin, and I in my best clothes, covered with brick-dust, and cobwebs, and lime. But we could not be half so amusing to them as they were to us. There they sat with the dessert before them but no wine-decanters forthcoming. How long they had sat thus, I have no idea. If you think your mamma has, you may ask her. Captain Calker and General Fortescue looked positively white about the gills. My uncle, clinging to the last hope, despairingly, had sat still and said nothing, and the guests could not understand the awful delay. Even Lady Georgiana had begun to fear a mutiny in the kitchen, or something equally awful. But to see the flash that passed across my uncle's face, when he saw us appear with ported arms ! He immediately began to pretend that nothing had been the matter. "'What the deuce has kept you, Ned, my boy?' he said. 'Fair Hebe,' he went on, 'I beg your pardon. Jacob, you can go on decanting. It was very careless of you to forget it. Meantime, Hebe, bring that bottle to General Jupiter, there. He's got a corkscrew in the tail of his robe, or I'm mistaken.' "Out came General Fortescue's corkscrew. I was trembling once more with anxiety. The cork gave the genuine plop; the bottle was lowered; glug, glug, glug, came from its beneficent throat, and out flowed something tawny as a lion's mane. The general lifted it lazily to his lips, saluting his nose on the way. "'Fifteen! by Gyeove!' he cried. Well, Admiral, this was worth waiting for! Take care how you decant that, Jacob-on peril of your life.' "My uncle was triumphant. He winked hard at me not to tell. Kate and I retired, she to change her dress, I to get mine well brushed, and my hands washed. By the time I returned to the dining-room, no one had any questions to ask. For Kate, the ladies had gone to the drawing-room before she was ready, and I believe she had some difficulty in keeping my uncle's counsel. But she did.-Need I say that was the happiest Christmas I ever spent?" "But how did you find the cellar, papa?" asked Effie. "Where are your brains, Effie? Don't you remember I told you that I had a dream?" "Yes. But you don't mean to say the existence of that wine-cellar was revealed to you in a dream?" "But I do, indeed. I had seen the wine-cellar built up just before we left for Madeira. It was my father's plan for securing the wine when the house was let. And very well it turned out for the wine, and me too. I had forgotten all about it. Everything had conspired to bring it to my memory, but had just failed of success. I had fallen asleep under all the influences I told you of-influences from the region of my childhood. They operated still when I was asleep, and, all other distracting influences being removed, at length roused in my sleeping brain the memory of what I had seen. In the morning I remembered not my dream only, but the event of which my dream was a reproduction. Still, I was under considerable doubt about the place, and in this I followed the dream only, as near as I could judge. "The admiral kept his word, and interposed no difficulties between Kate and me. Not that, to tell the truth, I was ever very anxious about that rock ahead; but it was very possible that his fastidious honour or pride might have occasioned a considerable interference with our happiness for a time. As it turned out, he could not leave me Culverwood, and I regretted the fact as little as he did himself. His gratitude to me was, however, excessive, assuming occasionally ludicrous outbursts of thankfulness. I do not believe he could have been more grateful if I had saved his ship and its whole crew. For his hospitality was at stake. Kind old man!" Here ended my father's story, with a light sigh, a gaze into the bright coals, a kiss of my mother's hand which he held in his, and another glass of Burgundy. IF I HAD A FATHER. A DRAMA. ACT I. SCENE.- A Sculptor's studio . ARTHUR GERVAISE working at a clay figure and humming a tune. A knock . Ger. Come in. ( Throws a wet cloth over the clay. Enter WARREN by the door communicating with the house .) Ah, Warren! How do you do? War. How are you, Gervaise? I'm delighted to see you once more. I have but just heard of your return. Ger. I've been home but a fortnight. I was just thinking of you. War. I was certain I should find you at work. Ger. You see my work can go on by any light. It is more independent than yours. War. I wish it weren't, then. Ger. Why? War. Because there would be a chance of our getting you out of your den sometimes. Ger. Like any other wild beast when the dark falls-eh? War. Just so. Ger. And where the good? War. Why shouldn't you roar a little now and then like other honest lions? Ger. I doubt if the roaring lions do much beyond roaring. War. And I doubt whether the lion that won't even whisk his tail, will get food enough shoved through his bars to make it worth his while to keep a cage in London. Ger. I certainly shall not make use of myself to recommend my work. War. What is it now? Ger. Oh, nothing!-only a little fancy of my own. War. There again! The moment I set foot in your study, you throw the sheet over your clay, and when I ask you what you are working at-"Oh-a little fancy of my own!" Ger. I couldn't tell it was you coming. War. Let me see what you've been doing, then. Ger. Oh, she's a mere Lot's-wife as yet! War. ( approaching the figure ). Of course, of course! I understand all that. Ger. ( laying his hand on his arm ). Excuse me: I would rather not show it. War. I beg your pardon.-I couldn't believe you really meant it. Ger. I'll show you the mould if you like. War. I don't know what you mean by that: you would never throw a wet sheet over a cast! (GER. lifts a painting from the floor and sets it on an easel . WAR. regards it for a few moments in silence .) Ah! by Jove, Gervaise! some one sent you down the wrong turn: you ought to have been a painter. What a sky! And what a sea! Those blues and greens-rich as a peacock's feather-eyes! Superb! A tropical night! The dolphin at its last gasp in the west, and all above, an abyss of blue, at the bottom of which the stars lie like gems in the mineshaft of the darkness! Ger. You seem to have taken the wrong turn, Warren! You ought to have been a poet. War. Such a thing as that puts the slang out of a fellow's bend. Ger. I'm glad you like it. I do myself, though it falls short of my intent sadly enough. War. But I don't for the life of me see what this has to do with that . You said something about a mould. Ger. I will tell you what I meant. Every individual aspect of nature looks to me as if about to give birth to a human form, embodying that of which itself only dreams. In this way landscape-painting is, in my eyes, the mother of sculpture. That Apollo is of the summer dawn; that Aphrodite of the moonlit sea; this picture represents the mother of my Psyche. War. Under the sheet there? Ger. Yes. You shall see her some day; but to show your work too soon, is to uncork your champagne before dinner. War. Well, you've spoiled my picture. I shall go home and scrape my canvas to the bone. Ger. On second thoughts, I will show you my Psyche. ( Uncovers the clay . WAR. stands in admiration. Enter WATERFIELD by same door .) Wat . Ah, Warren! here you are before me! Mr. Gervaise, I hope I see you well. War. Mr. Waterfield-an old friend of yours, Gervaise, I believe. Ger. I cannot appropriate the honour. Wat . I was twice in your studio at Rome, but it's six months ago, Mr. Gervaise. Ha! ( using his eye-glass ) What a charming figure! A Psyche! Wings suggested by-Very skilful! Contour lovely! Altogether antique in pose and expression!-Is she a commission? Ger. No. Wat . Then I beg you will consider her one. Ger. Excuse me; I never work on commission-at least never in this kind. A bust or two I have done. Wat . By Jove!-I should like to see your model!-This is perfect. Are you going to carve her? Ger. Possibly. Wat . Uncommissioned? Ger. If at all. Wat . Well, I can't call it running any risk. What lines!-You will let me drop in some day when you've got your model here? Ger. Impossible. Wat . You don't mean-? Ger. I had no model. Wat . No model? Ha! ha!-You must excuse me! (GER. takes up the wet sheet .) I understand. Reasons. A little mystery enhances-eh?-is convenient too-balks intrusion-throws the drapery over the mignonette. I understand. (GER. covers the clay .) Oh! pray don't carry out my figure. That is a damper now! Ger. I am not fond of acting the showman. You must excuse me: I am busy. Wat . Ah well!-some other time-when you've got on with her a bit. Good morning. Ta, ta, Warren. Ger. Good morning. This way, if you please. ( Shows him out by the door to the street .) How did the fellow find his way here? War. I am the culprit, I'm sorry to say. He asked me for your address, and I gave it him. Ger. How long have you known him? War. A month or two. Ger. Don't bring him here again. War. Don't say I brought him. I didn't do that. But I'm afraid you've not seen the last of him. Ger. Oh yes, I have! Old Martha would let in anybody, but I've got a man now.-William! Enter COL. GERVAISE dressed as a servant . You didn't see the gentleman just gone, I'm afraid, William? Col. G. No, sir. Ger. Don't let in any one calling himself Waterfield . Col. G. No, sir. Ger. I'm going out with Mr. Warren. I shall be back shortly. Col. G. Very well, sir. Exit into the house . Ger. ( to WAR.) I can't touch clay again till I get that fellow out of my head. War. Come along, then. Exeunt GER. and WAR. Re-enter COL. G. polishing a boot. Regards it with dissatisfaction . Col. G. Confound the thing! I wish it were a scabbard. When I think I'm getting it all right-one rub more and it's gone dull again! The house-door opens slowly, and THOMAS peeps cautiously in . Th. What sort of a plaze be this, maister? Col. G. You ought to have asked that outside. How did you get in? Th. By th' dur-hole. Iv yo leave th' dur oppen, th' dogs'll coom in. Col. G. I must speak to Martha again. She will leave the street-door open!-Well, you needn't look so frightened. It ain't a robbers' cave. Th. That be more'n aw knaw-not for sartin sure, maister. Nobory mun keawnt upon nobory up to Lonnon, they tells mo. But iv a gentleman axes mo into his heawse, aw'm noan beawn to be afeard. Aw'll coom in, for mayhap yo can help mo. It be a coorous plaze. What dun yo mak here? Col. G. What would you think now? Th. It looks to mo like a mason's shed-a greight one. Col. G. You're not so far wrong. Th. ( advancing ). It do look a queer plaze. Aw be noan so sure abeawt it. But they wonnot coot mo throat beout warnin'. Aw'll bother noan. ( Sits down on the dais and wipes his face .) Well, aw be a'most weary. Col. G. Is there anything I can do for you? Th. Nay, aw donnot know; but beout aw get somebory to help mo, aw dunnot think aw'll coom to th' end in haste. Aw're a lookin' for summut aw've lost, mou. Col. G. Did you come all the way from Lancashire to look for it? Th. Eh, lad! aw thowt thae'rt beawn to know wheer aw coom fro! Col. G. Anybody could tell that, the first word you spoke. I mean no offence. Th. ( looking disappointed ). Well, noan's ta'en. But thae dunnot say thae's ne'er been to Lancashire thisel'? Col. G. No, I don't say that: I've been to Lancashire several times. Th. Wheer to? Col. G. Why, Manchester. Th. That's noan ov it. Col. G. And Lancaster. Th. Tut! tut! That's noan of it, nayther. Col. G. And Liverpool. I was once there for a whole week. Th. Nay, nay. Noather o' those plazes. Fur away off 'em. Col. G. But what does it matter where I have or haven't been? Th. Mun aw tell tho again? Aw've lost summut, aw tell tho. Didsto ne'er hear tell ov th' owd woman 'at lost her shillin'? Hoo couldn't sit her deawn beawt hoo feawnd it! Yon's me. ( Hides his face in his hands .) Col. G. Ah! now I begin to guess! ( aside ).-You don't mean you've lost your- Th. ( starting up and grasping his stick with both hands ). Aw do mane aw've lost mo yung lass; and aw dunnot say thae's feawnd her, but aw do say thae knows wheer hoo is. Aw do. Theighur! Nea then! Col. G. What on earth makes you think that? I don't know what you're after. Th. Thae knows well enough. Thae knowed what aw'd lost afoor aw tou'd tho yo' be deny in' your own name. Thae knows. Aw'll tay tho afore the police, beout thou gie her oop. Aw wull. Col. G. What story have you to tell the police then? They'll want to know. Th. Story saysto? The dule's i' th' mon! Didn't aw seigh th' mon 'at stealed her away goo into this heawse not mich over hauve an hour ago?-Aw seigh him wi' mo own eighes. Col. G. Why didn't you speak to him? Th. He poppit in at th' same dur, and there aw've been a-watching ever since. Aw've not took my eighes off ov it. He's somewheeres now in this same heawse. Col. G. He may have been out in the morning ( aside ).-But you see there are more doors than one to the place. There is a back door; and there is a door out into the street. Th. Eigh! eigh! Th' t'one has to do wi' th' t'other-have it? Three dur-holes to one shed! That looks bad! Col. G. He's not here, whoever it was. There's not a man but myself in the place. Th. Hea am aw to know yo're not playin' a marlock wi' mo? He'll be oop i' th' heawse theer. Aw mun go look ( going ). Col. G. ( preventing him ). And how am I to know you're not a housebreaker? Th. Dun yo think an owd mon like mosel' would be of mich use for sich wark as that, mon? Col. G. The more fit for a spy, though, to see what might be made of it. Th. Eh, mon! Dun they do sich things as yon? But aw'm seechin' nothin', man nor meawse, that donnot belung me. Aw tell yo true. Gie mo mo Mattie, and aw'll trouble yo no moor. Aw winnot-if yo'll give mo back mo Mattie. ( Comes close up to him and lays his hand on his arm .) Be yo a feyther, mon? Col. G. Yes. Th. Ov a pratty yung lass? Col. G. Well, no. I have but a son. Th. Then thae winnot help mo? Col. G. I shall be very glad to help you, if you will tell me how. Th. Tell yor maister 'at Mattie's owd feyther's coom a' the gait fro Rachda to fot her whoam, and aw'll be much obleeged to him iv he'll let her goo beout lunger delay, for her mother wants her to whoam: hoo's but poorly. Tell yor maister that. Col. G. But I don't believe my master knows anything about her. Th. Aw're tellin' tho, aw seigh' th' mon goo into this heawse but a feow minutes agoo? Col. G. You've mistaken somebody for him. Th. Well, aw'm beawn to tell tho moore. Twothre days ago, aw seigh mo chylt coom eawt ov this same dur-aw mane th' heawsedur, yon. Col. G. Are you sure of that? Th. Sure as death. Aw seigh her back. Col. G. Her back! Who could be sure of a back? Th. By th' maskins! dosto think I dunnot know mo Mattie's back? I seign her coom eawt o' that dur, aw tell tho! Col. G. Why didn't you speak to her? Th. Aw co'd. Col. G. And she didn't answer? Th. Aw didn't co' leawd. Aw're not willin' to have ony mak ov a din. Col. G. But you followed her surely? Th. Aw did; but aw're noan so good at walkin' as aw wur when aw coom; th' stwons ha' blistered mo fet. An it're the edge o' dark like. Aw connot seigh weel at neet, wi o' th' lamps; an afoor aw geet oop wi' her, hoo's reawnd th' nook, and gwon fro mo seet. Col. G. There are ten thousands girls in London you might take for your own under such circumstances-not seeing more than the backs of them. Th. Ten theawsand girls like mo Mattie, saysto?-wi'her greight eighes and her lung yure?-Puh! Col. G. But you've just said you didn't see her face! Th. Dunnot aw know what th' face ov mo chylt be like, beout seem' ov it? Aw'm noan ov a lump-yed. Nobory as seigh her once wouldn't know her again. Col. G. ( aside ). He's a lunatic!-I don't see what I can do for you, old fellow. Th. ( rising ). And aw met ha' known it beout axin'! O'reet! Aw're a greight foo'! But aw're beawn to coom in: aw lung'd to goo through th' same dur wi' mo Mattie. Good day, sir. It be like maister, like mon! God's curse upon o' sich! ( Turns his back. After a moment turns again .) Noa. Aw winnot say that; for mo Mattie's sake aw winnot say that. God forgie you! ( going by the house ). Col. G. This way, please! ( opening the street-door ). Th. Aw see. Aw'm not to have a chance ov seem' oather Mattie or th' mon. Exit . Col. G. resumes his boot absently. Re-enter THOMAS, shaking his fist . Th. But aw tell tho, aw'll stick to th' place day and neet, aw wull. Aw wull. Aw wull. Col. G. Come back to-morrow. Th. Coom back, saysto? Aw'll not goo away ( growing fierce ). Wilto gie mo mo Mattie? Aw'm noan beawn to ston here so mich lunger. Wilto gie mo mo Mattie? Col. G. I cannot give you what I haven't got. Th. Aw'll break thi yed, thou villain! ( threatening him with his stick ). Eh, Mattie! Mattie! to loe sich a mon's maister more'n me! I would dey fur thee, Mattie. Exit . Col. G. It's all a mistake, of course. There are plenty of young men-but my Arthur's none of such. I cannot believe it of him. The daughter! If I could find her, she would settle the question. ( It begins to grow dark .) I must help the old man to find her. He's sure to come back. Arthur does not look the least like it. But-( polishes vigorously ). I can not get this boot to look like a gentleman's. I wish I had taken a lesson or two first. I'll get hold of a shoeblack, and make him come for a morning or two. No, he does not look like it. There he comes. ( Goes on polishing .) Enter GER. Ger. William! Col. G. ( turning ). Yes, sir. Ger. Light the gas. Any one called? Col. G. Yes, sir. Ger. Who? Col. G. I don't know, sir. ( Lighting the gas .) Ger. You should have asked his name. ( Stands before the clay, contemplating it .) Col. G. I'm sorry I forgot, sir. It was only an old man from the country-after his daughter, he said. Ger. Came to offer his daughter, or himself perhaps. ( Begins to work at the figure .) Col. G. ( watching him stealthily ). He looked a respectable old party-from Lancashire, he said. Ger. I dare say. You will have many such callers. Take the address. Models, you know. Col. G. If he calls again, sir? Ger. Ask him to leave his address, I say. Col. G. But he told me you knew her. Ger. Possibly. I had a good many models before I left. But it's of no consequence; I don't want any at present. Col. G. He seemed in a great way, sir-and swore. I couldn't make him out. Ger. Ah! hm! Col. G. He says he saw her come out of the house. Ger. Has there been any girl here? Have you seen any about? Col. G. No, sir. Ger. My aunt had a dressmaker to meet her here the other evening. I have had no model since I came back. Col. G. The man was in a sad taking about her, sir. I didn't know what to make of it. There seemed some truth-something suspicious. Ger. Perhaps my aunt can throw some light upon it. (COL. G. lingers .) That will do. ( Exit COL. G.) How oddly the man behaves! A sun-stroke in India, perhaps. Or he may have had a knock on the head. I must keep my eye on him. ( Stops working, steps backward, and gazes at the Psyche .) She is growing very like some one! Who can it be? She knows she is puzzling me, the beauty! See how she is keeping back a smile! She knows if she lets one smile out, her whole face will follow it through the clay. How strange the half-lights of memory are! You know and you don't know-both at once. Like a bat in the twilight you are sure of it, and the same moment it is nowhere. Who is my Psyche like?-The forehead above the eyebrow, and round by the temple? The half-playful, half-sorrowful curve of the lip? The hope in the lifted eyelid? There is more there than ever I put there. Some power has been shaping my ends. By heaven, I have it!-No-yes-it is-it is Constance-momently dawning out of the clay! What does this mean? She never gave me a sitting-at least, she has not done so for the last ten years-yet here she is-she, and no other! I never thought she was beautiful. When she came with my aunt the other day though, I did fancy I saw a new soul dawning through the lovely face. Here it is-the same soul breaking through the clay of my Psyche!-I will give just one touch to the corner of the mouth. Gives a few touches, then steps back again and contemplates the figure. Turns away and walks up and down. The light darkens to slow plaintive music, which lasts for a minute. Then the morning begins to dawn, gleaming blue upon the statues and casts, and revealing GER. seated before his Psyche, gazing at her. He rises, and exit. Enter COL. G. and looks about . Col. G. I don't know what to make of it! Or rather I'm afraid I do know what to make of it! It looks bad. He's not been in bed all night. But it shows he has some conscience left-and that's a comfort. Enter Mrs. CLIFFORD, peeping round cautiously . Col. G. What, Clara! you here so early! Mrs. C. Well, you know, brother, you're so fond of mystery! Col. G. It's very kind of you to come! But we must be very careful; I can't tell when my master may be home. Mrs. C. Has he been out all night, then? Col. G. Oh no; he's just gone. Mrs. C. I never knew him such an early bird. I made sure he was safe in bed for a couple of hours yet. But I do trust, Walter, you have had enough of this fooling, and are prepared to act like a rational man and a gentleman. Col. G. On the contrary, Clara, with my usual obstinacy, I am more determined than ever that my boy shall not know me, until, as I told you, I have rendered him such service as may prove me not altogether unworthy to be his father. Twenty years of neglect will be hard to surmount. Mrs. C. But mere menial service cannot discharge the least portion of your obligations. As his father alone can you really serve him. Col. G. You persist in misunderstanding me. This is not the service I mean. I scorn the fancy. This is only the means, as I told you plainly before, of finding out how I may serve him-of learning what he really needs-or most desires. If I fail in discovering how to recommend myself to him, I shall go back to India, and content myself with leaving him a tolerable fortune. Mrs. C. How ever a hair-brained fellow like you, Walter, could have made such a soldier!-Why don't you tell your boy you love him, and have done with it? Col. G. I will, as soon as I have proof to back the assertion. Mrs. C. I tell you it is rank pride. Col. G. It may be pride, sister; but it is the pride of a repentant thief who puts off his confession until he has the money in his hand to prove the genuineness of his sorrow. Mrs. C. It never was of any use to argue with you , Walter; you know that, or at least I know it. So I give up.-I trust you have got over your prejudice against his profession. It is not my fault. Col. G. In truth, I had forgotten the profession-as you call it-in watching the professor. Mrs. C. And has it not once occurred to you to ask how he may take such watching? Col. G. By the time he is aware of it, he will be ready to understand it. Mrs. C. But suppose he should discover you before you have thus established your position? Col. G. I must run the risk. Mrs. C. Suppose then you should thus find out something he would not have you know? Col. G. ( hurriedly ). Do you imagine his servant might know a thing he would hide from his father? Mrs. C. I do not, Walter. I can trust him. But he might well resent the espionage of even his father. You cannot get rid of the vile look of the thing. Col. G. Again I say, my boy shall be my judge, and my love shall be my plea. In any case I shall have to ask his forgiveness. But there is his key in the lock! Run into the house. Exit MRS. C. Enter GER., and goes straight to the Psyche . Col. G. Breakfast is waiting, sir. Ger. By and by, William. Col. G. You haven't been in bed, sir! Ger. Well? What of that? Col. G. I hope you're not ill, sir. Ger. Not in the least: I work all night sometimes.-You can go. (COL. G. lingers, with a searching gaze at the Psyche .)-I don't want anything. Col. G. Pardon me, sir, but I am sure you are ill. You've done no work since last night. Ger. ( with displeasure ). I am quite well, and wish to be alone. Col. G. Mayn't I go and fetch a doctor, sir? It is better to take things in time. Ger. You are troublesome. ( Exit COL. G.)-What can the fellow mean? He looked at me so strangely too! He's officious-that's all, I dare say. A good sort of man, I do think! William!-What is it in the man's face?-( Enter Col G.) Is the breakfast ready? Col. G. Quite ready, sir. Ger. I'm sorry I spoke to you so hastily. The fact is- Col. G. Don't mention it, sir. Speak as you will to me; I shan't mind it. When there's anything on a man's conscience-I-I-I mean on a man's mind- Ger. What do you mean? Col. G. I mean, when there is anything there, he can't well help his temper, sir. Ger. I don't understand you; but, anyhow, you-go too far, William. Col. G. I beg your pardon, sir: I forgot myself. I do humbly beg your pardon. Shall I make some fresh coffee, sir? It's not cold-only it's stood too long. Ger. The coffee will do well enough. ( Exit COL. G.)-Is she so beautiful? ( turning to the Psyche )-Is there a likeness?-I see it.-Nonsense! A mere chance confluence of the ideal and the actual.-Even then the chance must mean something. Such a mere chance would indeed be a strange one! Enter CONSTANCE. Oh, my heart! here she comes! my Psyche herself!-Well, Constance! Con. Oh, Arthur, I am so glad I've found you! I want to talk to you about something. I know you don't care much about me now, but I must tell you, for it would be wrong not. Ger. ( aside ). How beautiful she is! What can she have to tell me about? It cannot be-it shall not be-. Sit down, won't you? ( offering her a chair .) Con. No. You sit there ( pointing to the dais ), and I will sit here ( placing herself on the lower step ). It was here I used to sit so often when I was a little girl. Why can't one keep little? I was always with you then! ( Sighs .) Ger. It is not my fault, Constance. Con. Oh no! I suppose it can't be. Only I don't see why. Oh, Arthur, where should I be but for you! I saw the old place yesterday. How dreadful and yet how dear it was! Ger. Who took you there? Con. Nobody. I went alone. Ger. It was hardly safe.-I don't like your going out alone, Constance. Con. Why, Arthur! I used to know every court and alley about Shoreditch better than I know Berkeley Square now! Ger. But what made you go there? Con. I went to find a dressmaker who has been working for my aunt, and lost my way. And-would you believe it?-I was actually frightened! Ger. No wonder! There are rough people about there. Con. I never used to think them rough when I lived among them with my father and mother. There must be just as good people there as anywhere else. Yet I could not help shuddering at the thought of living there again!-How strange it made me feel! You have been my angel, Arthur. What would have become of me if you hadn't taken me, I dare not think. Ger. I have had my reward, Constance: you are happy. Con. Not quite. There's something I want to tell you. Ger. Tell on, child. Con. Oh, thank you!-that is how you used to talk to me. ( Hesitates .) Ger. ( with foreboding ) Well, what is it? Con. ( pulling the fingers of her gloves ) A gentleman-you know him-has been-calling upon aunt-and me. We have seen a good deal of him. Ger. Who is he? Con. Mr. Waterfield. ( Keeps her eyes on the floor .) Ger. Well? Con. He says-he-he-he wants me to marry him.-Aunt likes him. Ger. And you? Con. I like him too. I don't think I like him enough-I dare say I shall. It is so good of him to take poor me! He is very rich, they say. Ger. Have you accepted him? Con. I am afraid he thinks so.-Ye-e-s.-I hardly know. Ger. Haven't you-been rather-in a hurry-Constance? Con. No, indeed! I haven't been in a hurry at all. He has been a long time trying to make me like him. I have been too long a burden to Mrs. Clifford. Ger. So! it is her doing, then! Con. You were away, you know. Ger. ( bitterly ) Yes; too far-chipping stones and making mud-pies! Con. I don't know what you mean by that, Arthur. Ger. Oh-nothing. I mean that-that-Of course if you are engaged to him, then- Con. I'm afraid I've done very wrong, Arthur. If I had thought you would care!-I knew aunt would be pleased!-she wanted me to have him, I knew.-I ought to do what I can to please her,-ought I not? I have no right to- Ger. Surely, surely. Yes, yes; I understand. It was not your fault. Only you mustn't marry him, if you-. Thank you for telling me. Con. I ought to have told you before-before I let him speak to me again. But I didn't think you would care-not much. Ger. Yes, yes. Con. ( looking up with anxiety ) Ah! you are vexed with me, Arthur! I see how wrong it was now. I never saw you look like that. I am very, very sorry. ( Bursts into tears .) Ger. No, no, child! Only it is rather sudden, and I want to think about it. Shall I send William home with you? Con. No, thank you. I have a cab waiting. You're not angry with your little beggar, Arthur? Ger. What is there to be angry about, child? Con. That I-did anything without asking you first. Ger. Nonsense! You couldn't help it. You 're not to blame one bit. Con. Oh, yes, I am! I ought to have asked you first. But indeed I did not know you would care. Good-bye.-Shall I go at once? Ger. Good-bye. ( Exit CON., looking back troubled .) Come at last! Oh fool! fool! fool! In love with her at last!-and too late! For three years I haven't seen her-have not once written to her! Since I came back I've seen her just twice,-and now in the very hell of love! The ragged little darling that used to lie coiled up there in that corner! If it were my sister, it would be hard to lose her so! And to such a fellow as that!-not even a gentleman! How could she take him for one! That does perplex me! Ah, well! I suppose men have borne such things before, and men will bear them again! I must work! Nothing but work will save me. ( Approaches the Psyche, but turns from it with a look of despair and disgust .) What a fool I have been!-Constance! Constance!-A brute like that to touch one of her fingers! God in heaven! It will drive me mad. ( Rushes out, leaving the door open .) Enter COL. GERVAISE. Col. G. Gone again! and without his breakfast! My poor boy! There's something very wrong with you! It's that girl! It must be! But there's conscience in him yet!-It is all my fault. If I had been a father to him, this would never have happened.-If he were to marry the girl now?-Only, who can tell but she led him astray? I have known such a thing. ( Sits down and buries his face in his hands .) Enter WATERFIELD. Wat . Is Mr. Gervaise in? Col. G. ( rising ) No, sir. Wat . Tell him I called, will you? [ Exit .] Col. G. Yes, sir.-Forgot again. Young man;-gentleman or cad?-don't know; think the latter. Enter THOMAS. Th. Han yo heard speyk ov mo chylt yet, sir? Col. G. ( starting up ). In the name of God, I know nothing of your child; but bring her here, and I will give you a hundred pounds-in golden sovereigns. Th. Hea am aw to fot her yere, when I dunnot know wheer hoo be, sir? Col. G. That's your business. Bring her, and there will be your money. Th. Dun yo think, sir, o' the gouden suverings i' th' Bank ov England would put a sharper edge on mo oud eighes when they look for mo lass? Eh, mon! Yo dunnot know the heart ov a feyther-ov the feyther ov a lass-barn, sir. Han yo kilt and buried her, and nea be yo sorry for't? I' hoo be dead and gwoan, tell mo, sir, and aw'll goo whoam again, for mo oud lass be main lonesome beout mo, and we'll wait till we goo to her, for hoo winnot coom no moor to us. Col. G. For anything I know, your daughter is alive and well. Bring her here, I say, and I will make you happy. Th. Aw shannot want thes or thi silverings either to mak mo happy then, maister. Iv aw hed a houd o' mo lass, it's noan o' yere aw'd be a coomin' wi' her. It's reet streight whoam to her mother we'd be gooin', aw'll be beawn. Nay, nay, mon!-aw'm noan sich a greight foo as yo tak mo for. Exit. COL. G. follows him. Enter. GER. Sits down before the Psyche, but without looking at her . Ger. Oh those fingers! They are striking terrible chords on my heart! I will conquer it. But I will love her. The spear shall fill its own wound. To draw it out and die, would be no victory. "I'll but lie down and bleed awhile, and then I'll rise and fight again." Brave old Sir Andrew! Enter COL. G. Col. G. I beg your pardon, sir-a young man called while you were out. Ger. ( listlessly ). Very well, William. Col. G. Is there any message, if he calls again, sir? He said he would. Ger. No. (COL. G. lingers .) You can go. Col. G. I hope you feel better, sir? Ger. Quite well. Col. G. Can I get you anything, sir? Ger. No, thank you; I want nothing.-Why do you stay? Col. G. Can't you think of something I can do for you, sir? Ger. Fetch that red cloth. Col. G. Yes, sir. Ger. Throw it over that- Col. G. This, sir? Ger. No, no-the clay there. Thank you. ( A knock at the door .) See who that is. Col. G. Are you at home, sir? Ger. That depends. Not to Mr. Waterfield. Oh, my head! my head! [ Exit COL. G. Enter CONSTANCE. GER. starts, but keeps his head leaning on his hand . Con. I forgot to say to you, Arthur,-. But you are ill! What is the matter, dear Arthur? Ger. ( without looking up ) Nothing-only a headache. Con. Do come home with me, and let aunt and me nurse you. Don't be vexed with me any more. I will do whatever you like. I couldn't go home without seeing you again. And now I find you ill! Ger. Not a bit. I am only dreadfully busy. I must go out of town. I am so busy! I can't stay in it a moment longer. I have so many things to do. Con. Mayn't I come and see you while you work? I never used to interrupt you. I want so to sit once more in my old place. ( Draws a stool towards him .) Ger. No, no-not-not there! Constance used to sit there. William! Con. You frighten me, Arthur! Enter COL. G. Ger. Bring a chair, William. Constance sits down like a chidden child. Exit COL. G. Con. I must have offended you more than I thought, Arthur! What can I say? It is so stupid to be always saying I am sorry . Ger. No, no. But some one may call. Con. You mean more than that. Will you not let me understand? Ger. Your friend Mr. Waterfield called a few minutes ago. He will be here again presently, I dare say. Con. ( indifferently ). Indeed! Ger. I suppose you appointed-expected-to meet him here. Con. Arthur! Do you think I would come to you to meet him ? I saw him this morning; I don't want to see him again. I wish you knew him. Ger. Why should you want me to know him? Con. Because you would do him good. Ger. What good does he want done him? Con. He has got beautiful things in him-talks well-in bits-arms and feet and faces-never anything like-( turning to the Psyche ) Why have you-? Has she been naughty too? Ger. Is it only naughty things that must be put out of sight, Constance? Con. Dear Arthur! you spoke like your own self then. Ger. ( rising hurriedly ). Excuse me. I must go. It is very rude, but-William! Enter COL. G. Col. G. Yes, sir. Ger. Fetch a hansom directly. Col. G. Yes, sir. Exit . Con. You do frighten me, Arthur! I am sure you are ill. Ger. Not at all. I have an engagement. Con. I must go then-must I? Ger. Do not think me unkind? Con. I will not think anything you would not have me think. Re-enter COL. G. Col. G. The cab is at the door, sir. Ger. Thank you. Then show Miss Lacordere out. Stay. I will open the door for her myself. Exeunt GER. and CON. Col. G. He speaks like one in despair, forcing every word! If he should die! Oh, my God! Re-enter GER. Walks up and down the room . Col. G. Ain't you going, sir? Ger. No. I have sent the lady in the cab. Col. G. Then hadn't you better lie down, sir? Ger. Lie down! What do you mean? I'm not in the way of lying down except to sleep. Col. G. And let me go for the doctor, sir? Ger. The doctor! Ha! ha ha!-You are a soldier, you say? Col. G. Yes, sir. Ger. Right. We're all soldiers-or ought to be. I will put you to your catechism. What is a soldier's first duty? Col. G. Obedience, sir. [GER. sits down and leans his head on his hands . COL. G. watches him .] Ger. Ah! obedience, is it? Then turn those women out. They will hurt you-may kill you; but you must not mind that. They burn, they blister, and they blast, for as white as they look! The hottest is the white fire. But duty, old soldier!-obedience, you know!-Ha! ha! Oh, my head! my head! I believe I am losing my senses, William. I was in a bad part of the town this morning. I went to see a place I knew long ago. It had gone to hell-but the black edges of it were left. There was a smell-and I can't get it out of me. Oh, William! William! take hold of me. Don't let them come near me. Psyche is laughing at me. I told you to throw the red cloth over her. Col. G. My poor boy! Ger. Don't fancy you're my father, though! I wish you were. But I cannot allow that.-Why the devil didn't you throw the red cloth over that butterfly? She's sucking the blood from my heart. Col. G. You said the Psyche, sir! The red cloth is over the Psyche, sir. Look. Ger. Yes. Yes. I beg your pardon. Take it off. It is too red. It will scorch her wings. It burns my brain. Take it off, I say! (COL. G. uncovers the Psyche .) There! I told you! She's laughing at me! Ungrateful child! I 'm not her Cupid. Cover her up. Not the red cloth again. It's too hot, I say. I won't torture her . I am a man and I can bear it. She's a woman and she shan't bear it. Sinks back in his chair . COL. G. lays him on the dais, and sits down beside him . Col. G. His heart's all right! And when a fellow's miserable over his faults, there must be some way out of them.-But the consequences?-Ah! there's the rub. Ger. What's the matter? Where am I? Col. G. I must fetch a doctor, sir. You've been in a faint. Ger. Why couldn't I keep in it? It was very nice: you know nothing-and that's the nicest thing of all. Why is it we can't stop, William? Col. G. I don't understand you, sir. Ger. Stop living, I mean. It's no use killing yourself, for you don't stop then. At least they say you go on living all the same. If I thought it did mean stopping, William- Col. C. Do come to your room, sir. Ger. I won't. I'll stop here. How hot it is! Don't let anybody in. Stretches out his hand . COL. G. holds it. He falls asleep . Col. G. What shall I do? If he married her, he'd be miserable, and make her miserable too. I'll take her away somewhere. I'll be a father to her; I'll tend her as if she were his widow. But what confusions would follow! Alas! alas! one crime is the mother of a thousand miseries! And now he's in for a fever-typhus, perhaps!-I must find this girl!-What a sweet creature that Miss Lacordere is! If only he might have her ! I don't care what she was. Ger. Don't let them near me, William! They will drive me mad. They think I shall love them. I will not. If she comes one step nearer, I shall strike her. You Diana! Hecate! Hell-cat!-Fire-hearted Chaos is burning me to ashes! My brain is a cinder! Some water, William! Col. G. Here it is, sir. Ger. But just look to Psyche there. Ah. she's off! There she goes! melting away in the blue, like a dissolving vapour. Bring me my field-glass, William. I may catch a glimpse of her yet. Make haste. Col. G. Pray don't talk so, sir. Do be quiet, or you will make yourself very ill. Think what will become of me if- Ger. What worse would you be, William? You are a soldier. I must talk. You are all wrong about it: it keeps me quiet ( holding his head with both hands ). I should go raving mad else ( wildly ). Give me some water. ( He drinks eagerly, then looks slowly round the room .) Now they are gone, and I do believe they won't come again! I see everything-and your face, William. You are very good to me-very patient! I should die if it weren't for you. Col. G. I would die for you, sir. Ger. Would you? But perhaps you don't care much for your life. Anybody might have my life for the asking. I dare say it's just as good to be dead.-Ah! there is a toad-a toad with a tail! No; it's a toad with a slow-worm after him. Take them away, William!-Thank you.-I used to think life pleasant, but now-somehow there's nothing in it. She told me the truth about it-Constance did. Don't let those women come back. What if I should love them, William!-love and hate them both at once! William! William! ( A knock at the door .) See who that is. Mind you don't let them in. Col. G. Martha is there, sir. Ger. She's but an old woman; she can't keep them out. They would walk over her. All the goddesses have such long legs! You go and look. You'll easily know them: if they've got no irises to their eyes, don't let them in, for the love of God, William! Real women have irises to their eyes: those have none-those frightful snowy beauties.-And yet snow is very nice! And I'm so hot! There they come again! Exit COL. G. Enter MRS. CLIFFORD. Ger. Aunt! aunt! help me! There they come! Mrs. C. What is it, my Arthur? They shan't hurt you. I am here. I will take care of you. Ger. Yes, yes, you will! I am not a bit afraid of them now. Do you know them, aunt? I'll tell you a secret: they are Juno and Diana and Venus.-They hate sculptors. But I never wronged them. Three white women-only, between their fingers and behind their knees they are purple-and inside their lips, when they smile-and in the hollows of their eyes-ugh! They want me to love them; and they say you are all-all of you women-no better than they are. I know that is a lie; for they have no eyelids and no irises to their eyes. Mrs. C. Dear boy, they shan't come near you. Shall I sing to you, and drive them away? Ger. No, don't. I can't bear birds in my brain. Mrs. C. How long have you had this headache? ( laying her hand on his forehead .) Ger. Only a year or two-since the white woman came-that woman ( pointing to the Psyche ). She's been buried for ages, and won't grow brown. Mrs. C. There's no woman there, Arthur. Ger. Of course not. It was an old story that bothered me. Oh, my head! my head!-There's my father standing behind the door and won't come in!- He could help me now, if he would. William! show my father in. But he isn't in the story-so he can't. Mrs. C. Do try to keep yourself quiet, Arthur. The doctor will be here in a few minutes. Ger. He shan't come here! He would put the white woman out. She does smell earthy, but I won't part with her. ( A knock .) What a devil of a noise! Why don't they use the knocker? What's the use of taking a sledge-hammer? Mrs. C. It's that stupid James! Enter CONSTANCE. MRS. C. goes to meet her . Mrs. C. Constance, you go and hurry the doctor. I will stay with Arthur. Con. Is he very ill, aunt? Mrs. C. I'm afraid he is. Ger. ( sitting up ). Constance! Constance! Con. Here I am! ( running to him ). Ger. Oh, my head! I wish I could find somewhere to lay it!-Sit by me, Constance, and let me lay my head on your shoulder-for one minute-only one minute. It aches so! ( She sits down by him. His head sinks on her shoulder . MRS. C. looks annoyed, and exit .) Con. Thank you, thank you, dear Arthur! ( sobbing ). You used to like me! I could not believe you hated me now. You have forgiven me? Dear head! He closes his eyes. Slow plaintive music . Ger. ( half waking ). I can't read. When I get to the bottom of the page, I wonder what it was all about. I shall never get to Garibaldi! and if I don't, I shall never get farther. If I could but keep that one line away! It drives me mad, mad. "He took her by the lily-white hand."-I could strangle myself for thinking of such things, but they will come!-I won't go mad. I should never get to Garibaldi, and never be rid of this red-hot ploughshare ploughing up my heart. I will not go mad! I will die like a man. Con. Arthur! Arthur! Ger. God in heaven! she is there! And the others are behind her!-Psyche! Psyche! Don't speak to those women! Come alone, and I will tear my heart out and give it you.-It is Psyche herself now, and the rest are gone! Psyche-listen. Con. It's only me, Arthur! your own little Constance! If aunt would but let me stay and nurse you! But I don't know what's come to her: she's not like herself at all. Ger. Who's that behind you? Con. Behind me? ( looking round ). There's nobody behind me. Ger. I thought there was somebody behind you. William!-What can have become of William? Con. I dare say aunt has sent him somewhere. Ger. Then he's gone! he's gone! Con. You're not afraid of being left alone with me, Arthur? Ger. Oh no! of course not?-What can have become of William? Don't you know they sent him-not those women, but the dead people-to look after me? He's a good fellow. He said he would die for me. Ha! ha! ha! Not much in that-is there? Con. Don't laugh so, dear Arthur. Ger. Well, I won't. I have something to tell you, Constance. I will try to keep my senses till I've told you. Con. Do tell me. I hope I haven't done anything more to vex you. Indeed I am sorry. I won't speak to that man again, if you like. I would rather not-if you wish it. Ger. What right have I to dictate to you, my child? Con. Every right. I am yours. I belong to you. Nobody owned me when you took me. Ger. Don't talk like that; you will drive me mad. Con. Arthur! Arthur! Ger. Listen to me, Constance. I am going to Garibaldi. He wants soldiers. I must not live an idle life any longer.-We must part, Constance.-Good-bye, my darling! Con. No, no; not yet; we'll talk about it by-and-by. You see I shall have ever so many things to make for you before you can go! ( smiling ). Ger. Garibaldi can't wait, Constance-and I can't wait. I shall die if I stop here. Con. Oh, Arthur, you are in some trouble, and you won't tell me what it is, so I can't help you! Ger. I shall be killed, I know. I mean to be. Will you think of me sometimes? Give me one kiss. I may have a last kiss. Con. ( weeping .) My heart will break if you talk like that, Arthur. I will do anything you please. There's something wrong, dreadfully wrong! And it must be my fault!-Oh! there's that man! ( starting up .) He shall not come here. [ Runs to the house-door, and stands listening, with her hand on the key .] END OF ACT I. ACT II. SCENE.- A street in Mayfair . MRS. CLIFFORD'S house. A pastrycook's shop. Boys looking in at the window . Bill. I say, Jim, ain't it a lot o' grub? If I wos a pig now,- Jack. I likes to hear Bill a supposin' of hisself. Go it, Bill!-There ain't nothink he can't suppose hisself, Jim.-Bein' as you ain't a pig. Bill, you've got yer own trotters, an' yer own tater-trap. Bill. Vereupon blue Bobby eccosts me with the remark, "I wants you, Bill;" and seem' me too parerlyzed to bolt, he pops me in that 'ere jug vithout e'er a handle. Jack. Mother kep' a pig once. Jim. What was he like, Jack? Jack. As like any other pig as ever he could look; accep' that where other pigs is black he wor white, an' where other pigs is white he wor black. Jim. Did you have the milk in your tea, Jack? Jack. Pigs ain't got no milk, Jim, you stupe! Bill. Pigs has milk, Jack, only they don't give it to coves.-I wish I wos the Lord Mayor! Jack. Go it again, Bill. He ought ha' been a beak, Bill ought. What 'ud you do, Bill, supposin' as how you wos the Lord Mayor? Bill. I'd take all the beaks, an' all the peelers, an' put their own bracelets on 'em, an' feed 'em once a day on scraps o' wittles to bring out the hunger: a cove can't be hungry upon nuffin at all. Jim. He gets what mother calls the squeamishes. Jack. Well, Bill? Bill. Well, the worry moment their bellies was as long an' as loose as a o'-clo'-bag of a winter's mornin', I'd bring 'em all up to this 'ere winder, five or six at a time-with the darbies on, mind ye- Jim. And I'm to be there to see, Bill-ain't I? Bill. If you're good, Jim, an' don't forget yer prayers. Jack. My eye! it's as good as a penny gaff! Go it, Bill. Bill. Then I up an' addresses 'em: "My Lords an' Gen'lemen, 'cos as how ye're all good boys, an' goes to church, an' don't eat too many wittles, an' don't take off your bracelets when you goes to bed, you shall obswerve me eat." Jim. Go it, Bill! I likes you, Bill. Bill. No, Jim; I must close. The imagination is a 'ungry gift, as the cock said when he bolted the pebbles. Let's sojourn the meetin'. Jack . Yes; come along. 'Tain't a comfable corner this yere: the wind cuts round uncommon sharp. Them pies ain't good-leastways not to look at. Bill . They ain't disgestible. But look ye here, Jack and Jim-hearkee, my kids. ( Puts an arm round the neck of each, and whispers first to one and then to the other .) Enter MATTIE and SUSAN. Sus . Now, Mattie, we're close to the house, an' I don't want to be seen with you, for she's mad at me . Mat . You must have made her mad, then, Sue. Sus . She madded me first: what else when she wouldn't believe a word I said? She'd ha' sworn on the gospel book, we sent the parcel up the spout. But she'll believe you , an' give you something, and then we'll have a chop! Mat . How can you expect that, Sue, when the work's lost? Sus . Never mind; you go and see. Mat . I shan't take it, Susan. I couldn't. Sus . Stuff and nonsense! I'll wait you round the corner: I don't like the smell o' them pastry things. Exit . MATTIE walks past the window . Mat . I don't like going. It makes me feel a thief to be suspected. Bill . Lor! it's our Mattie! There's our Mattie!-Mattie! Mattie! Mat . Ah, Bill! you're there-are you? Bill . Yes, Mattie. It's a tart-show. You walks up and takes yer chice;-leastways, you makes it: somebody else takes it. Mat . Wouldn't you like to take your choice sometimes, Bill? Bill . In course I would. Mat . Then why don't you work, and better yourself a bit? Bill . Bless you, Mattie! myself is werry comf'able. He never complains. Mat . You're hungry sometimes,-ain't you? Bill . Most remarkable 'ungry, Mattie-this werry moment. Odd you should ask now-ain't it? Mat . You would get plenty to eat if you would work. Bill . Thank you-I'd rayther not. Them as ain't 'ungry never enj'ys their damaged tarts. If I'm 'appy, vere's the odds? as the cat said to the mouse as wanted to be let off the engagement. Why should I work more'n any other gen'leman? Mat . A gentleman that don't work is a curse to his neighbours, Bill. Bill . Bless you, Mattie! I ain't a curse-nohow to nobody. I don't see as you've got any call to say that, Mattie. I don't go fakin' clies, or crackin' cribs-nothin' o' the sort. An' I don't mind doin' of a odd job, if it is a odd one. Don't go for to say that again, Mattie. Mat . I won't, then, Bill. But just look at yourself!-You're all in rags. Bill . Rags is the hairier, as the Skye terrier said to the black-an'-tan.-I shouldn't object to a new pair of old trousers, though. Mat . Why don't you have a pair of real new ones? If you would only sweep a crossing- Bill . There ain't, a crossin' but what's took. Besides, my legs ain't put together for one place all day long. It ain't to be done, Mattie. They can't do it. Mat . There's the shoe-black business, then. Bill . That ain't so bad, acause you can shoulder your box and trudge. But if it's all the same to you, Mattie, I'd rayther enj'y life: they say it's short. Mat . But it ain't the same to me. It's so bad for you to be idle, Bill! Bill . Not as I knows on. I'm tollable jolly, so long's I gets the browns for my bed. Mat . Wouldn't you like a bed with a blanket to it? Bill . Well, yes-if it was guv to me. But I don't go in for knocking of yourself about, to sleep warm. Mat . Well, look here, Bill. It's all Susan and I can do to pay for our room, and get a bit of bread and a cup of tea. It ain't enough.-If you were to earn a few pence now- Bill . Oh golly! I never thought o' that. What a hass I wur, to be sure! I'll go a shoe-blackin' to-morror-I will. Mat . Did you ever black a shoe, Bill? Bill . I tried a boot oncet-when Jim wor a blackin' for a day or two. But I made nothink on it-nothink worth mentionin'. The blackin' or som'at was wrong. The gen'leman said it wur coal-dust, an he'd slog me, an' adwised me to go an' learn my trade. Mat . And what did you say to that? Bill . Holler'd out "Shine yer boots!" as loud as I could holler. Mat . You must try my boots next time you come. Bill . This wery night, Mattie. I'll make 'em shine like plate glass-see then if I don't. But where'll I get a box and brushes? Mat . You shall have our brushes and my footstool. Bill . I see! Turn the stool upside down, put the brushes in, and carry it by one leg-as drunken Moll does her kid.-Here you are, sir! Black your boots, sir?-Shine your trotters, sir? ( bawling .) Mat . That'll do; that'll do, Bill! Famous! You needn't do it again ( holding her ears ). Would you like a tart? Bill . Just wouldn't I, then!-Shine your boooooots! Mat . ( laughing ). Do hold your tongue, Bill. There's a penny for a tart. Bill . Thank you, Mattie. Thank you. Exit into the shop . Jack and Jim ( touching their supposed caps ). Please, ma'am! Please, ma'am! I likes 'em too. I likes 'em more 'n Bill. Mat . I'm very sorry, but-( feeling in her pocket ) I've got a ha'penny, I believe. No-there's a penny! You must share it, you know. ( Gives it to Jack. Knocks at Mrs. Clifford's door. ) Jack and Jim . Thank you, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am. Exit MATTIE into MRS. CLIFFORD'S. Jim . Now, Jack, what's it to be? Jack . I believe I shall spend it in St. Martin's Lane. Jim . A ha'p'orth on it's mine, you know, Jack. Jack . Well, you do put the stunners on me! Jim . She said we wos to divide it-she did. Jack . 'Taint possible. It beats my ivories. ( He pretends to bite it . JIM flies at him in a rage .) Re-enter BILL, with his mouth full . Bill . Now what are you two a squabblin' over? Oh! Jack's got a yennep, and Jim's iookin' shirty. Jim . She told him to divide it, and he won't. Bill . Who told him? Jim . Mattie. Bill . You dare, Jack? Hand over. Jack . Be hanged if I do. Bill . Then do and be hanged. ( A struggle .) There, Jim! Now you go and buy what you like. Jim . Am I to give Jack the half? Bill . Yes, if our Mattie said it. Jim . All right, Bill. ( Goes into the shop .) Jack . I owe you one for that, Bill. Bill . Owe it me then, Jack. I do like fair play-always did ( eating ). Jack . You ain't a sharin' of your yennep, Bill. Bill . Mattie didn't say I was to. She knowed one wouldn't break up into three nohow. 'Tain't in natur', Jack. Jack . You might ha' guv me a bite, anyhow, Bill. Bill . It ain't desirable, Jack-size o' trap dooly considered. Here comes your share. Re-enter JIM. Gives a bun to JACK. Jim . I tell you what, Bill-she ain't your Mattie. She ain't nobody's Mattie; she's a hangel. Bill . No, Jim, she ain't a hangel; she 'ain't got no wings, leastways outside her clo'es, and she 'ain't got clo'es enough to hide 'em. I wish I wos a hangel! Jack . At it again, Bill! I do like to hear Bill a wishin' of hisself! Why, Bill? Bill . Acause they're never 'ungry. Jack . How do you know they ain't? Bill . You never sees 'em loafin' about nowheres. Jim . Is Mattie your sister, Bill? Bill . No, Jim; I ain't good 'nough to have a sister like she. Jack . Your sweetheart, Bill? Ha! ha! ha! Bill . Dry up, Jack. Jim . Tell me about her, Bill. I didn't jaw you. Bill . She lives in our court, Jim. Makes shirts and things. Jack . Oh! ho! BILL hits JACK. JACK doubles himself up . Bill . Jim, our Mattie ain't like other gals; I never see her out afore this blessed day-upon my word and honour, Jim, never! Jack . ( wiping his nose with his sleeve ). You don't know a joke from a jemmy, Bill. Bill . I'll joke you!-A hangel tips you a tart, and you plucks her feathers! Get on t'other side of the way, you little dirty devil, or I'll give you another smeller-cheap too. Off with you! Jack . No, Bill; no, please. I'm wery sorry. I ain't so bad's all that conies to. Bill . If you wants to go with Jim and me, then behave like a gen'leman. Jim . I calls our Mattie a brick! Bill . None o' your jaw, Jim! She ain't your Mattie. Enter THOMAS. Tho. Childer, dun yo know th' way to Paradise-Row, or Road, or summat? Bill . Dunnow, sir. You axes at the Sunday-school. Tho. Wheer's th' Sunday-school, chylt? Bill . Second door round the corner, sir. Tho. Second dur reawnd th' corner! Which corner, my man? Bill . Round any corner. Second door's all-ways Sunday-school. ( Takes a sight. Exeunt boys .) THOMAS sits down on a door-step . Tho. Eh, but aw be main weary! Surely th' Lord dunnot be a forsakin' ov mo. There's that abeawt th' lost ship. Oop yon, wheer th' angels keep greight flocks ov 'em, they dunnot like to lose one ov 'em, an' they met well be helpin' ov mo to look for mo lost lamb i' this awful plaze! What has th' shepherd o' th' sheep himsel' to do, God bless him! but go look for th' lost ones and carry 'em whoam! O Lord! gie mo mo Mattie. Aw'm a silly ship mosel, a sarchin' for mo lost lamb. ( Boys begin to gather and stare .) She's o' the world to me. O Lord, hear mo, and gie mo mo Mattie. Nea, aw'll geet oop, and go look again. ( Rises .) First Boy . Ain't he a cricket, Tommy? Second Boy . Spry, ain't he? Prod him, and see him jump. ( General insult .) Tho. Why, childer, what have aw done, that yo cry after mo like a thief? First Boy . Daddy Longlegs! Daddy Longlegs! They hustle and crowd him. Re-enter BILL. THOMAS makes a rush. They run. He seizes BILL. They gather again . Tho. Han yo getten a mother, lad? Bill . No, thank ye. 'Ain't got no mother. Come of a haunt, I do. First Boy . Game!-ain't he? Tho. Well, aw'll tak yo whoam to yor aunt-aw wull. Bill . Will you now, old chap? Wery well. ( Squats .) Tho. ( holding him up by the collar, and shaking his stick over him ). Tell mo wheer's por aunt, or aw'll breyk every bone i' yor body. Bill ( wriggling and howling and rubbing his eyes with alternate sleeves ). Let me go, I say. Let me go and I'll tell ye. I will indeed, sir. Tho. ( letting go ) Wheer then, mo lad? Bill ( starting up ). I' the church-cellar, sir-first bin over the left-feeds musty, and smells strong. Ho! ho! ho! ( Takes a sight .) THOMAS makes a dart . BILL dodges him . First Boy . Ain't he a cricket now , Tommy? Second Boy . Got one leg too many for a cricket, Sam. Third Boy . That's what he jerks hisself with, Tommy. Tho. Boys, I want to be freens wi' yo. Here's a penny. One of the boys knocks it out of his hand. A scramble . Tho. Now, boys, dun yo know wheer's a young woman bi th' name ov Mattie-somewheer abeawt Paradise Row? First Boy . Yes, old un. Second Boy . Lots on 'em. Third Boy . Which on em' do you want, Mr. Cricket? Fourth Boy . You ain't peticlar, I s'pose, old corner-bones? First Boy . Don't you fret, old stilts. We'll find you a Mattie. There's plenty on 'em-all nice gals. Tho. I want mo own Mattie. First Boy . Why, you'd never tell one from t'other on 'em! Third Boy . All on 'em wery glad to see old Daddy Longlegs! Tho. Oh dear! Oh dear! What an awful plaze this Lon'on do be! To see the childer so bad! Second Boy . Don't cry, gran'pa. She' d chaff you worser 'n us! We're only poor little innocent boys. We don't know nothink, bless you! Oh no! First Boy . You'd better let her alone, arter all, bag o' nails. Second Boy . She'll have it out on you now, for woppin' of her when she wor a kid. First Boy . She's a wopper herself now. Third Boy . Mighty fine, with your shirt for a great-coat. He! he! he! Fourth Boy . Mattie never kicks us poor innocent boys-cos we 'ain't got no mothers to take our parts. Boo hoo! Enter JACK- his hands in his pockets . Jack . What's the row, Bill? Bill . Dunnow, Jack. Old chap collared me when I wasn't alludin' to him. He's after some Mattie or other. It can't be our Mattie. She wouldn't never have such a blazin' old parient as that. Jack . Supposin' it was your Mattie, Bill, would you split, and let Scull-and-cross-bones nab her? Bill . Would I? Would I 'and over our Mattie to her natural enemy? Did you ax it, Jack? Jack . Natural enemy! My eye, Bill! what words you fakes! Bill . Ain't he her natural enemy, then? Ain't it yer father as bumps yer 'ed, an' cusses ye, an' lets ye see him eat? Afore he gets our Mattie, I'll bite! Tho. Poor lad! poor lad! Dunnot say that! Her feyther's th' best freen' hoo's getten. Th' moor's th' pity, for it's not mich he can do for her. But he would dee for her-he would. Boys (all together) . Go along, Daddy-devil! Pick yer own bones, an' ha' done. Bag-raker! Skin-cat! Bag o' nails! Scull-an'-cross-bones! Old Daddy Longlegs wouldn't say his prayers- Take him by his left leg, and throw him downstairs. Go along! Go to hell! We 'll skin you. Melt ye down for taller, we will. Only he 'ain't got none, the red herrin'! They throw things at him. He sits down on the door-step, and covers his head with his arms. Enter COL. G. Boys run off . Tho. Oh, mo Mattie! mo Mattie! Col. G. Poor old fellow! Are you hurt? Tho. Eh! yo be a followin' ov mo too! Col. G. What are you doing here? Tho. What am aw doin' yere! Thee knows well enough what aw're a doin' yere. It 're o' thy fau't, mon. Col. G. Why, you've got a blow! Your head is cut! Poor old fellow! Tho. Never yo mind mo yed. Col. G. You must go home. Tho. Goo whoam, says to! Aw goo no-wheers but to th' grave afoor aw've feawnd mo chylt. Col. G. Come along with me; I will do all I can to find her. Perhaps I can help you after all. Tho. Aw mak nea deawbt o' that, mon. And thae seems a gradely chap. Aw'm a'most spent. An' aw'm sick, sick! Dunnot let th' boys shove mo abeawt again. Col. G. I will not. They shan't come near you. Take my arm. Poor old fellow! If you would but trust me! Hey! Cab there! Exeunt . Enter SUSAN, peeping . Sus . I wonder whatever's come to Mattie! It's long time she was out again. Enter MATTIE, hurriedly . Mat . Oh, Susan! Susan! ( Falls .) Sus . Mattie! Mattie! ( Kneels beside her, and undoes her bonnet .) Enter POLICEMAN. Pol . What ails her? ( Goes to lift her .) Sus . Leave her alone, will you? Let her head down. Get some water. Pol . Drunk-is she? Sus . Hold your tongue, you brute! If she'd a satin frock on, i'stead o' this here poor cotton gownd, you'd ha' showed her t'other side o' your manners! Get away with you. You're too ugly to look at.-Mattie! Mattie! Look up, child. Pol . She mustn't lie there. Mat . Susan! Pol . Come, my girl. Sus . You keep off, I tell you! Don't touch her. She's none o' your sort. Come, Mattie, dear.-Why don't you make 'em move on? Pol . You'd better keep a civil tongue in your head, young woman. Sus . You live lobster! Pol . I'll have to lock you up, I see. One violent. T'other incapable. Sus . You're another. Mattie, my dear, come along home. Pol . That's right; be off with you. MATTIE rises . Mat . Let's go. Sue! Let's get farther off. Sus . You can't walk, child. If I hadn't been so short o' wittles for a week, I could ha' carried you. But it's only a step to the cook-shop. Mat . No money, Sue. ( Tries to walk .) Sus . O Lord! What shall I do! And that blue-bottle there a buzzin' an' a starin' at us like a dead codfish!-Boh! Enter BILL. Bill . Our Mattie! Gracious! what's the row, Susan? Sus . She ain't well. Take her other arm, Bill, and help her out o' this. We ain't in no Christian country. Pluck up, Mattie, dear. Bill . Come into the tart-shop. I'm a customer. They go towards the shop. Exit POLICEMAN. Mat . No, no, Sukey! I can't abide the smell of it. Let me sit on the kerb for a minute. ( Sits down .) Oh, father! father! Bill . Never you mind, Mattie! If he wor twenty fathers, he shan't come near ye. Mat . Oh, Bill! if you could find him for me! He would take me home. Bill . Now who'd ha' thought o' that? Axially wantin' her own father! I'd run far enough out o' the way o' mine-an' farther if he wur a-axin' arter me. Mat . Oh me! my side! Sus . It's hunger, poor dear! ( Sits down beside her .) Bill ( aside ). This won't do, Bill! I'm a shamed o' you , Bill! Exit . Mat . No, Susan, it's not hunger. It's the old story, Sue. Sus . Mattie! I never! You don't mean to go for to tell me you're a breakin' of your precious heart about him ? It's not your gentleman sure ly ! It's not him ye're turnin' sick about, this time o' day? MATTIE nods her head listlessly . Sus . What's up fresh, then? You was pretty bobbish when you left me. It's little he thinks of you , I'll be bound. Mat . That's true enough. It's little he ever thought of me. He did say he loved me, though. It's fifty times he did! Sus . Lies, lies, Mattie-all lies! Mat . No, Susan; it wasn't lies. He meant it-at the time. That's what made it look all right. Oh dear! Oh dear! Sus . But what's come to you now, Mattie? What's fresh in it? You're not turned like this all at once for nothink! Mat . I've seen him! Sus . Seen him! Oh, my! I wish it had been me. I 'd ha' seen him! I'd ha' torn his ugly eyes out. Mat . They ain't ugly eyes. They're big and blue, and they sparkle so when he talks to her! Sus . And who's her ? Ye didn't mention a her . Some brazen-faced imperence! Mat . No. The young lady at Mrs. Clifford's. Sus . Oho! See if I do a stitch for her!-Shan't I leave a needle in her shimmy, just! Mat . What shall I do! All the good's gone out of me! And such a pain here! Sus . Keep in yer breath a minute, an' push yer ribs out. It's one on 'em's got a top o' the other. Mat . Such a grand creature! And her colour coming and going like the shadows on the corn! It's no wonder he forgot poor me. But it'll burn itself out afore long. Sus . Don't ye talk like that, Mattie; I can't abear it. Mat . If I was dressed like her, though, and could get my colour back! But laws! I'm such a washed out piece o' goods beside her! Sus . That's as I say, Matilda! It's the dress makes the differ. Mat . No, Susan, it ain't. It's the free look of them-and the head up-and the white hands-and the taper fingers. They're stronger than us, and they're that trained like, that all their body goes in one, like the music at a concert. I couldn't pick up a needle without going down on my knees after it. It's the pain in my side, Sue.-Yes, it's a fine thing to be born a lady. It's not the clothes, Sue. If we was dressed ever so, we couldn't come near them. It's that look,-I don't know what. Sus . Speak for yerself, Mattie; I 'm not a goin' to think such small beer of my self, I can tell you! I believe if I'd been took in time- Mat . It's a big if that though, Sue.-And then she looked so good! You'd hardly think it of me,-perhaps it's because I'm dying- but for one minute I could ha' kissed her very shoes. Oh, my side! Sus . ( putting her arm tight round her waist ). Does that help it Mattie, dear?-a little teeny bit? Mat . Yes, Sukey. It holds it together a bit. Will he break her heart too, I wonder? Sus . No fear o' that! Ladies takes care o' theirselves. They're brought up to it. Mat . It's only poor girls gentlemen don't mind hurting, I suppose. Sus . It's the ladies' fathers and brothers, Mattie! We've got nobody to look after us. Mat . They may break their hearts, though, for all that. Sus . They won't forgive them like you, then, Mattie! Mat . I dare say they're much the same as we are when it comes to that, Sue. Sus . Don't say me , Mattie. I wouldn't forgive him-no, not if I was to die for it. But what came of it, child? Mat . I made some noise, I suppose, and the lady started. Sus . And then you up and spoke? Mat . I turned sick, and fell down. Sus . Poor dear! Mat . She got me a glass of wine, but I couldn't swallow it, and got up and crawled out. Sus . Did he see you? Mat . I think he did. Sus . You'll tell her, in course? Mat . No, Sue; he'd hate me, and I couldn't bear that. Oh me! my side! It's so bad! Sus . Let's try for home, Mattie. It's a long way, and there's nothing to eat when you're there; but you can lie down, and that's everything to them as can't sit up. Mat . ( rising ). I keep fancying I'm going to meet my father. Sus . Let's fancy it then every turn all the way home, an' that'll get us along. There, take my arm. There!-Come along. Exeunt . Slow music. Twilight . Enter BILL with a three-legged stool, brushes, etc. Bill . Come! it's blackin' all over! When gents can't no longer see their boots, 'tain't much use offerin' to shine 'em. But if I can get a penny, I will. I must take a tart to Mattie, or this here damaged one ( laying his hand on his stomach ) won't go to sleep this night. Enter WATERFIELD. Bill . Black your boots for a party, sir? Wat . ( aside ) The very rascal I saw her speaking to! But wasn't she a brick not to split! That's what I call devotion now! There are some of them capable of it. I'll set her up for life. I'd give a cool thousand it hadn't happened, though. I saw her father too hanging about Gervaise's yesterday. Bill . Clean your boots, sir? Shine 'em till they grin like a Cheshire cat eatin' cheese! Wat . Shine away, you beggar. Bill ( turning up his trousers ). I ain't no beggar, sir. Shine for a shiner's fair play. Wat . Do you live in this neighbourhood? Bill . No, sir. Wat . Where, then? Bill ( feeling where a pocket should be ). I don't appear to 'ave a card about me, sir, but my address is Lamb's Court, Camomile Street-leastways I do my sleepin' not far off of it. I've lived there, what livin' I have done, sin' ever I wor anywheres as I knows on. Wat . Do you happen to know a girl of the name of Pearson? Bill . No, sir. I can't say as how I rec'lect the name. Is she a old girl or a young un? Wat . You young liar! I saw you talking to her not two hours ago! Bill . Did ye now, sir? That's odd, ain't it? Bless you! I talks to everybody. I ain't proud, sir. Wat . Well, do you see this? ( holding up a sovereign ). Bill . That's one o' them tilings what don't require much seein', sir. There! Bright as a butterfly! T'other twin, sir! Wat . I'll give you this, if you'll do something for me-and another to that when the thing's done. Bill . 'Tain't stealin', sir? Wat . No. Bill . Cos, you see, Mattie- Wat . Who did you say? Bill . Old Madge as lets the beds at tuppence a short night. 'Tain't stealin', you say, sir? Wat . What do you take me for? I want you to find out for me where the girl Pearson lives-that's all. Bill ( snatching the sovereign and putting it in his mouth ). Now then, sir!-What's the young woman like? Wat . Rather tall-thin-dark hair-large dark eyes-and long white hands. Her name's Matilda-Mattie Pearson-the girl you were talking to, I tell you, on this very spot an hour or two ago. Bill ( dropping the sovereign, and stooping to find it ). Golly! it is our Mattie! Wat . Shall you know her again? Bill . Any boy as wasn't a hass would know his own grandmother by them spots. Besides, I remember sich a gal addressin' of me this mornin'. If you say her it was, I'll detect her for ye. Wat . There's a good boy! What's your name? Bill . Timothy, sir. Wat . What else? Bill . Never had no other-leastways as I knows on. Wat . Well, Timothy-there's the other sov.-and it's yours the moment you take me to her. Look at it. Bill . My eye!-Is she a square Moll, sir? Wat . What do you mean by that? Bill . Green you are, to be sure!-She ain't one as steals, or- Wat . Not she. She's a sempstress-a needlewoman, or something of the sort. Bill . And where shall I find you , sir? Wat . Let me see:-to-morrow night-on the steps of St. Martin's Church-ten o'clock. Bill . But if I don't find her? It may be a week-or a month-or- Wat . Come whether you find her or not, and let me know. Bill . All serene, sir! There you are, sir! Brush your trousers, sir? Wat . No; leave 'em.-Don't forget now. Bill . Honour bright, sir! Not if I knows it, sir! Wat . There's that other skid, you know. Bill . All right, sir! Anything more, sir? Wat . Damn your impudence! Get along. Exit . BILL watches him into MRS. CLIFFORD'S. Bill . Now by all the 'ungry gums of Arabiar, 'ere's a swell arter our Mattie!-A right rig'lar swell! I knows 'em-soverings an' red socks. What's come to our Mattie? 'Ere's Daddy Longlegs arter her, vith his penny and his blessin'! an' 'ere's this 'ere mighty swell vith his soverings-an' his red socks! An' she's 'ungry, poor gal!-This 'ere yellow-boy?-I 'ain't got no faith in swells-no more 'n in Daddy Longlegses-I 'ain't!-S'posin' he wants to marry her?-Not if I knows it. He ain't half good 'nough for her . Too many quids-goin' a flingin' on 'em about like buttons! He's been a crackin' o' cribs- he has. I ain't a goin' to interduce our Mattie to no sich blokes as him. No fathers or lovyers for me-says I!-But this here pebble o' Paradise!-What's to be done wi' the cherub? I can't tell her a lie about it, an' who'll break it up for a cove like me, lookin' jes' as if I'd been an' tarred myself and crep' through a rag-bag! They'd jug me. An' what 'ud Mattie say then? I wish I 'adn't 'a' touched it. I'm blowed if I don't toss it over a bridge!-Then the gent 'ain't got the weight on his dunop out o' me. O Lord! what shall I do with it? I wish I'd skied it in his face! I don't believe it's a good un; I don't! ( Bites it .) It do taste wery nasty. It's nothin' better 'n a gilt fardin'! Jes' what a cove might look for from sich a swell! ( Goes to a street lamp and examines it .) Lor! there's a bobby! ( Exit. Re-enter to the lamp .) I wish the gen'leman 'ad guv me a penny. I can't do nothin' wi' this 'ere quid. Vere am I to put it? I 'ain't got no pocket, an' if I was to stow it in my 'tato-trap, I couldn't wag my red rag-an' Mother Madge 'ud soon have me by the chops. Nor I've got noveres to plant it.-O Lor! it's all I've got, an' Madge lets nobody go to bed without the tuppence. It's all up with Bill- for the night!-Where's the odds!-there's a first-class hotel by the river-The Adelphi Arches, they calls it-where they'll take me in fast enough, and I can go to sleep with it in my cheek. Coves is past talkin' to you there. Nobody as sees me in that 'ere 'aunt of luxury, 'ill take me for a millionaire vith a skid in his mouth. 'Tain't a bit cold to-night neither ( going ).-Vy do they say a aunt of luxury? I s'pose acause she's wife to my uncle. Exit . Slow music. The night passes. A policeman crosses twice . THOMAS crosses between. Dawn . Re-enter BILL. Bill . I'm hanged if this here blasted quid ain't a burnin' of me like a red-hot fardin'! I'm blest if I've slep' more 'n half the night. I woke up oncet, with it a slippin' down red lane. I wish I had swallered it. Then nobody 'd 'a' ast me vere I got it. I don't wonder as rich coves turn out sich a bad lot. I believe the devil's in this 'ere! Knocks at MRS. CLIFFORD'S door. JAMES opens. Is shutting it again . BILL shoves in his stool . Bill . Hillo, Blazes! where's your manners? Is that the way you behaves to callers on your gov'nor's business? James (half opening the door ). Get about your own business, you imperent boy! Bill . I'm about it now, young man. I wants to see your gov'nor. James . You 've got business with him , have you, eh? Bill . Amazin' precoxity! You've hit it! I have got business with him , Door-post-not in the wery smallest with you , Door-post!-essep' the knife-boy's been and neglected of your feet-bags this mornin'. (JAMES would slam the door . BILL shoves in his stool .) Don't you try that 'ere little game again, young man! for if I loses my temper and takes to hollerin', you'll wish yourself farther. James . A humbug you are! I 'ain't got no gov'nor, boy. The master as belongs to me is a mis'ess. Bill . Then that 'ere gen'lemen as comes an' goes, ain't your master-eh? James . What gen'leman, stoopid? Bill . Oh! it don't matter. James . What have-you-got to say to him ? Bill . Some'at pickled: it'll keep. James . I'll give him a message, if you like. Bill . Well, you may tell him the bargain's hoff, and if he wants his money, it's a waitin' of him round the corner. James . You little blackguard! Do you suppose a gen'leman's a goin' to deliver sich a message as that! Be off, you himp! ( Makes a dart at him .) Bill ( dodging him ). How d'e do, Clumsy? Don't touch me; I ain't nice. Why, what was you made for, Parrot? Is them calves your own rearin' now? Is that a quid or a fardin? Have a shot, now, Shins. James . None o' your imperence, young blackie! 'And me over the money, and I'll give it to the gen'leman. Bill . Do you see anything peticlar green in my eye, Rainbow? JAMES makes a rush . BILL gets down before him . JAMES tumbles over him . BILL blacks his face with his brush . Bill ( running a little way ). Ha! ha! ha! Bill Shoeblack-his mark! Who's blackie now? You owes me a penny-twopence-'twor sich a ugly job! Ain't shiny? I'll come back and shine ye for another penny. Good mornin', Jim Crow! Take my adwice, and don't on no account apply your winegar afore you've opened your hoyster. Likeways: Butter don't melt on a cold tater. Exit . Exit JAMES into the house, banging the door . Enter WATERFIELD, followed by BILL. Bill . Please, sir, I been a watchin' for you. Wat . Go to the devil! Bill . I'd rayther not. So there's your suv'ring! Wat . Go along. Meet me where I told you. Bill . I won't. There's yer skid. Wat . Be off, or I'll give you in charge. Hey! Policeman! Exit . Bill . Well, I'm blowed! This quid '11 be the hangin' o' me! Damn you ! ( Throws it fiercely on the ground and stamps on it .) Serves me right for chaffin' the old un! He didn't look a bad sort- for a gov'nor.-Now I reflexes, I heerd Mattie spoony on some father or other, afore. O Lord! I'll get Jim and Jack to help me look out for him. ( Enter THOMAS.) Lor' ha' mussy!-talk o' the old un!-I'm wery peticlar glad as I found you, daddy. I been a lookin' for ye-leastways I was a goin' to look for ye this wery moment as you turns up. I chaffed you like a zorologicle monkey yesterday, daddy, an' I'm wery sorry. But you see fathers ain't nice i' this 'ere part o' the continent. ( Enter JAMES, in plain clothes, watching them .) They ain't no good nohow to nobody. If I wos a husband and a father, I don't know as how I should be A One, myself. P'r'aps I might think it wur my turn to break arms and legs. I knowed more 'n one father as did. It's no wonder the boys is a plaguy lot, daddy. Tho. Goo away, boy. Dosto yer, aw've seen so mich wickedness sin' aw coom to Lon'on. that aw dunnot knaw whether to breighk thi yed, or to goo wi' tho? There be thieves and there be robbers. Bill . Never fear, daddy. You ain't worth robbin' of, I don't think. Tho. How dosto knaw that? Aw've moore 'n I want to lose abeawt mo. Bill . Then Mattie 'ill have som'at to eat-will she, daddy? Tho. Som'at to eight, boy! Be mo Mattie hungry-dun yo think? Bill . Many and many's the time, daddy. Tho. Yigh-afore her dinner! Bill . And after it too, daddy. Tho. O Lord!-And what does hoo do when hoo 's hungry? Bill . Grins and bears it. Come and see her, daddy? Tho. O Lord! Mo Mattie, an' nothin' to eight! Goo on, boy. Aw'm beawn to follow yo. Tak mo wheer yo like. Aw'll goo. Bill . Come along then, daddy. James (collaring him ). Hullo, young un! You're the rascal as stole the suvering: I saw you! Bill . Dunno what you're up to. I never stole nothink. James . Oh no! of course not! What's that in yer fist now? ( Catches BILL'S hand, and forces it open .) There! BILL drops his stool on JAMES'S foot, throws up the coin, catches it with his other hand, and puts it in his mouth . Tho. Theighur! Theighur! The like ov that! Aw're agooin wi' a thief-aw wur! Bill . Never you mind, daddy. It wur guv to me. James . That's what they allus says, sir.-You come along.-I'd be obliged to you, sir, if you would come too, and say you saw him. Tho. Nay! aw connot say aw seigh him steyle it. James . You saw it in his hand. Tho. Yigh! aw did. Bill . It wis guv to me, I tell ye. James . Honest boy, this one! Looks like it, don't he, sir? What do you think of yourself, you young devil, a decoying of a grey-haired old gen'leman like this? Why, sir, him an' his pals 'ud ha' taken every penny you had about you! Murdered you, they might-I've knowed as much. It's a good thing I 'appened on the spot.-Come along, you bad boy! Bill . I didn't, take it. And I won't go. James . Come along. They'll change it for you at the lock-up. Bill . You didn't see me steal it! You ain't never a goin' to gi' me in charge? James . Wrong again, young un! That's? percisely what I am a goin' to do! Bill . Oh, sir! please, sir! I'm a honest boy. It's the Bible-truth. I'll kiss twenty books on it. James . I won't ax you.-Why, sir, he ain't even one o' the shoe-brigade. He 'ain't got a red coat. Bless my soul! he 'ain't even got a box-nothin' but a scrubby pair o' brushes as I'm alive! He ain't no shoeblack. He's a thief as purtends to black shoes, and picks pockets. Bill . You're a liar! I never picked a pocket, in my life. James . Bad language, you see! What more would you have? Tho. Who'd iver lia' thowt o' sich wickedness in a boy like that! Bill . I ain't a wicked boy, no. Nay, doan't thae tell mo that! Thae made gam of mo, and hurried and scurried mo, as iv aw'd been a mak ov a deevil-yo did. James . He's one of the worst boys I know. This Timothy is one of the very worst boys in all London. Bill (aside ). Timothy, eh? I twigs! It's Rainbow, by Peter and Paul!-Look y'e here, old gen'leman! This 'ere's a bad cove as is takin' adwantage o' your woolliness. I knows him. His master guv me the suvering. He guv it to me to tell him where your Mattie was. James . Don't you fancy you're g' in' to take in an experienced old gen'leman like that with your cock-and-bull stories! Come along, I say. Hey! Police! Bill . Here you are! (Takes the coin from his mouth, rubs it dry on his jacket, and offers it. ) I don't want it. Give it to old Hunx there.-He shan't never see his Mattie! I wur right to chivy him, arter all. James (taking the coin ). Now look here, Timothy. I'm a detective hofficer. But I won't never be hard on no buy as wants to make a honest livin'. So you be hoff! I'll show the old gen'leman where he wants to go to. BILL moves two paces, and takes a sight at him . Tho. The Lord be praised! Dosto know eawr Mattie then? James . It's the dooty of a detective hofficer to know every girl in his beat. Bill . My eye! there's a oner! Tho. Tak mo to her, sir, an' aw'll pray for yo. James . I will.-If I cotch you nearer than Mile End, I'll give you in charge at oncet. Bill (bolting five yards ). He's a humbug, daddy! but he'll serve you right. He'll melt you down for taller. He ain't no 'tective. I know him. Tho. Goo away. Bill . Good-bye, daddy! He don't know your Mattie. Good-bye, skelington! Exit . Tho. Eh! sech a boy! James . Let me see. You want a girl of the name of Mattie? Tho. Aw do, sir. James . The name is not an oncommon one. There's Mattie Kent? Tho. Nay; it's noan o' her. James . Then there's Mattie Winchfield? Tho. Nay; it's noan o' her. James . Then there's Mattie Pearson? Tho. Yigh, that's hoo! That's hoo! Wheer? Wheer? James . Well, it's too far for a man of your age to walk. But I'll call a cab, and we'll go comfortable. Tho. But aw connot affoord to peigh for a cab-as yo co it. James . You don't suppose I'm a goin' to put an honest man like you to expense! Tho. It's but raysonable I should peigh. But thae knows best. James . Hey! Cab there! Exeunt . Re-enter BILL, following them . Bill . I'll have an eye of him, though. The swell as give me the yellow-boy-he's his master! Poor old codger! He'll believe any cove but the one as tells him the truth! Exit . Enter from the house MRS. CLIFFORD. Enter from opposite side COL. G. Col. G. I was just coming to see you, Clara. Mrs. C. And I was going to see you. How's Arthur to-day? I thought you would have come yesterday. Col. G. My poor boy is as dependent on me as if I were not his father. I am very anxious about him. The fever keeps returning. Mrs. C. Fortune seems to have favoured your mad scheme, Walter. Col. G. Or something better than fortune. Mrs. C. You have had rare and ample opportunity. You may end the farce when you please, and in triumph. Col. G. On the contrary, Clara, it would be nothing but an anticlimax to end what you are pleased to call the farce now. As if I could make a merit of nursing my own boy! I did more for my black servant. I wish I had him here. Mrs. C. You would like to double the watch-would you? Col. G. Something has vexed you, Clara. Mrs. C. I never liked the scheme, and I like it less every day. Col. G. I have had no chance yet. He has been ill all the time. I wish you would come and see him a little oftener. Mrs. C. He doesn't want me. You are everything now. Besides, I can't come alone. Col G. Why not? Mrs. C. Constance would fancy I did not want to take her. Col. G. Then why not take her? Mrs. C. I have my reasons. Col. G. What are they? Mrs. C. Never mind. Col. G. I insist upon knowing them. Mrs. C. It would break my heart, Walter, to quarrel with you, but I will if you use such an expression. Col. G. But why shouldn't you bring Miss Lacordere with you? Mrs. C. He's but a boy, and it might put some nonsense in his head. Col. G. She's a fine girl. You make a friend of her. Mrs. C. She's a good girl, and a lady-like girl; but I don't want to meddle with the bulwarks of society. I hope to goodness they will last my time. Col. G. Clara, I begin to doubt whether pride be a Christian virtue. Mrs. C. I see! You'll be a radical before long. Every thing is going that way. Col. G. I don't care what I am, so I do what's right. I'm sick of all that kind of thing. What I want is bare honesty. I believe I'm a tory as yet, but I should be a radical to-morrow if I thought justice lay on that side.-If a man falls in love with a woman, why shouldn't he marry her? Mrs. C. She may be unfit for him. Col. G. How should he fall in love with her, then? Men don't fall in love with birds. Mrs. C. It's a risk-a great risk. Col. G. None the greater that he pleases himself, and all the more worth taking. I wish my poor boy- Mrs. C. Your poor boy might please himself and yet not succeed in pleasing you, brother! Col. G. (aside ). She knows something.-I must go and see about his dinner. Good-bye, sister. Mrs. C. Good-bye, then. You will have your own way! Col. G. This once, Clara. Exeunt severally . END OF ACT II. ACT III. SCENE.- A garret-room . MATTIE. SUSAN. Mat . At the worst we've got to die some day, Sue, and I don't know but hunger may be as easy a way as another. Sus . I'd rather have a choice, though. And it's not hunger I would choose. Mat . There are worse ways. Sus . Never mind: we don't seem likely to be bothered wi' choosin'. Mat . There's that button-hole done. ( Lays down her work with a sigh, and leans bade in her chair .) Sus . I'll take it to old Nathan. It'll be a chop a-piece. It's wonderful what a chop can do to hearten you up. Mat . I don't think we ought to buy chops, dear. We must be content with bread, I think. Sus . Bread, indeed! Mat . Well, it's something to eat. Sus . Do you call it eatin' when you see a dog polishin' a bone? Mat . Bread's very good with a cup of tea. Sus . Tea, indeed! Fawn-colour, trimmed with sky-blue!-If you'd mentioned lobster-salad and sherry, now! Mat . I never tasted lobster-salad. Sus . I have, though; and I do call lobster-salad good. You don't care about your wittles: I do. When I'm hungry, I'm not at all comfortable. Mat . Poor dear Sue! There is a crust in the cupboard. Sus . I can't eat crusts. I want summat nice. I ain't dyin' of 'unger. It's only I'm peckish. Very peckish, though. I could eat-let me see what I could eat:-I could eat a lobster-salad, and two dozen oysters, and a lump of cake, and a wing and a leg of a chicken-if it was a spring chicken, with watercreases round it-and a Bath-bun, and a sandwich; and in fact I don't know what I couldn't eat, except just that crust in the cupboard. And I do believe I could drink a whole bottle of champagne. Mat . I don't know what one of those things tastes like-scarce one; and I don't believe you do either. Sus . Don't I?-I never did taste champagne, but I've seen them eating lobster-salad many a time;-girls not half so good-lookin' as you or me, Mattie, and fine gentlemen a waitin' upon 'em. Oh dear! I am so hungry! Think of having your supper with a real gentleman as talks to you as if you was fit to talk to-not like them Jew-tailors, as tosses your work about as if it dirtied their fingers-and them none so clean for all their fine rings! Mat . I saw Nathan's Joseph in a pastrycook's last Saturday, and a very pretty girl with him, poor thing! Sus . Oh the hussy to let that beast pay for her! Mat . I suppose she was hungry. Sus . I'd die before I let a snob like that treat me . No, Mattie! I spoke of a real gentleman. Mat . Are you sure you wouldn't take Nathan's Joseph for a gentleman if he was civil to you? Sus . Thank you, miss! I know a sham from a real gentleman the moment I set eyes on him. Mat . What do you mean by a real gentleman, Susan? Sus . A gentleman as makes a lady of his girl. Mat . But what sort of lady, Sue? The poor girl may fancy herself a lady, but only till she's left in the dirt. That sort of gentleman makes fine speeches to your face, and calls you horrid names behind your back. Sue, dear, don't have a word to say to one of them-if he speaks ever so soft. Sus . Lawks, Mattie! they ain't all one sort. Mat . You won't have more than one sort to choose from. They may be rough or civil, good-natured or bad, but they're all the same in this, that not one of them cares a pin more for you than if you was a horse-no-nor half a quarter so much. Don't for God's sake have a word to say to one of them. If I die, Susan- Sus . If you do, Matilda-if you go and do that thing, I'll take to gin-that's what I'll do. Don't say I didn't act fair, and tell you beforehand. Mat . How can I help dying, Susan? Sus . I say, Don't do it, Mattie. We'll fall out, if you do. Don't do it, Matilda-La! there's that lumping Bill again- al ways a comin' up the stair when you don't want him! Enter BILL. Mat . Well, Bill, how have you been getting on? Bill . Pretty tollol, Mattie. But I can't go on so. ( Holds out his stool .) It ain't respectable. Mat . What ain't respectable? Everything's respectable that's honest. Bill . Why, who ever saw a respectable shiner goin' about with a three-legged stool for a blackin' box? It ain't the thing. The rig'lars chaffs me fit to throw it at their 'eads, they does-only there's too many on 'em, an' I've got to dror it mild. A box I must have, or a feller's ockypation's gone. Look ye here! One bob, one tanner, and a joey! There! that's what comes of never condescending to an 'a'penny. Sus . Bless us! what mighty fine words we've got a waitin' on us! Bill . If I 'ave a weakness, Miss Susan, it's for the right word in the right place-as the coster said to the devil-dodger as blowed him up for purfane swearin'.-When a gen'leman hoffers me an 'a'penny, I axes him in the purlitest manner I can assume, to oblige me by givin' of it to the first beggar he may 'ave the good fort'n to meet. Some on 'em throws down the 'a'penny. Most on 'em makes it a penny.-But I say, Mattie, you don't want nobody arter you-do you now? Mat . I don't know what you mean by that, Bill. Bill . You don't want a father-do you now? Do she, Susan? Sus . We want no father a hectorin' here, Bill. You 'ain't seen one about, have you? Bill . I seen a rig'lar swell arter Mattie, anyhow. Mat . What do you mean, Bill? Bill. A rig'lar swell-I repeats it-a astin' arter a young woman by the name o' Mattie. Sus . ( pulling him aside ). Hold your tongue, Bill! You'll kill her! You young viper! Hold your tongue, or I'll twist your neck. Don't you see how white she is? Mat . What was he like? Do tell me, Bill. Bill . A long-legged rig'lar swell, with a gold chain, and a cane with a hivory 'andle. Sus . He's a bad man, Bill, and Mattie can't abide him. If you tell him where she is, she'll never speak to you again. Mat . Oh, Susan! what shall I do? Don't bring him here, Bill. I shall have to run away again; and I can't, for we owe a week's rent. Sus . There, Bill! Bill . Don't you be afeard, Mattie. He shan't touch you. Nor the old one neither. Mat . There wasn't an old man with him?-not an old man with a long stick? Bill . Not with him . Daddy was on his own hook? Mat . It must have been my father, Susan. ( Sinks back on her chair .) Sus . 'Tain't the least likely.-There, Bill! I always said you was no good! You've killed her. Bill . Mattie! Mattie! I didn't tell him where you was. Mat . ( reviving ). Run and fetch him, Bill-there's a dear! Oh! how proud I've been! If mother did say a hard word, she didn't mean it-not for long. Run, Bill, run and fetch him. Bill . Mattie, I was a fetchin' of him, but he wouldn't trust me. And didn't he cut up crusty, and collar me tight! He's a game old cock-he is, Mattie. Mat . ( getting up and pacing about the room ). Oh, Susan! my heart'll break. To think he's somewhere near and I can't get to him! Oh my side! Don't you know where he is, Bill? Bill . He's someveres about, and blow me if I don't, find him!-a respectable old party in a white pinny, an' 'peared as if he'd go on a walkin' till he walked hisself up staudin'. A scrumptious old party! Mat . Had he a stick, Bill? Bill . Yes-a knobby stick-leastways a stick wi' knobs all over it. Mat . That's him, Susan! Bill . I could swear to the stick. I was too near gittin' at the taste on it not to know it again. Mat . When was it you saw him, Bill? Bill . Yesterday, Mattie-jest arter you give me the tart. I sawr him again this mornin', but he wouldn't place no confidence in me. Mat . Oh dear! Why didn't you come straight to me, Bill? Bill . If I'd only ha' known as you wanted him! But that was sech a un likely thing! It's werry perwokin'! I uses my judgment, an' puts my hoof in it! I am sorry, Mattie. But I didn't know no better ( crying ). Mat . Don't cry, Bill. You'll find him for me yet-won't you? Bill . I'm off this indentical minute. But you see- Sus . There! there!-now you mizzle. I don't want no fathers here-goodness knows; but the poor girl's took a fancy to hers, and she'll die if she don't get him. Run now-there's a good boy! ( Exit BILL.) You 'ain't forgotten who's a comin', Mattie? Mat . No, indeed. Sus . Well, I hope she'll be civil, or I'll just give her a bit of my mind. Mat . Not enough to change hers, I'm afraid. That sort of thing never does any good. Sus . And am I to go a twiddlin' of my thumbs, and sayin' yes, ma'am , an' no, ma'am ? Not if I knows it, Matilda! Mat . You will only make her the more positive in her ill opinion of us. Sus . An' what's that to me? Mat . Well, I don't like to be thought a thief. Besides, Mrs. Clifford has been kind to us. Sus . She's paid us for work done; so has old Nathan. Mat . Did old Nathan ever give you a glass of wine when you took home his slops? Sus . Oh! that don't cost much; and besides, she takes it out in kingdom-come. Mat . You're unfair, Susan. Sus . Well, it's little fairness I get. Mat . And to set that right you're unfair yourself! What you call speaking your mind, is as cheap, and as nasty, as the worst shoddy old Nathan ever got gobble-stitched into coats and trousers. Sus . Very well, Miss Matilda! ( rising and snatching her bonnet ). The sooner we part the better! You stick by your fine friends! I don't care that for them! ( snapping her fingers )-and you may tell 'em so! I can make a livin' without them or you either. Goodness gracious knows it ain't much of a livin' I've made sin' I come across you , Miss! Exit . Mat ( trying to rise ). Susan! Susan! ( Lays her head on the table ). A tap at the door, and enter MRS. CLIFFORD, with JAMES behind . MATTIE rises . Mrs. C. Wait on the landing, James. James . Yes, ma'am. Exit JAMES, leaving the door a little ajar . Mrs. C. Well, Miss Pearson! ( Mattie offers a chair .) No, thank you. That person is still with you, I see! Mat . Indeed, ma'am, she's an honest girl. Mrs. C. She is a low creature, and capable of anything. I advise you to get rid of her. Mat . Was she rude on the stair, ma'am? Mrs. C. Rude! Vulgar-quite vulgar! Insulting! Mat . I am very sorry. But, believe me, ma'am, she is an honest girl, and never pawned that work. It was done-every stitch of it; and the loss of the money is hard upon us too. Indeed, ma'am, she did lose the parcel. Mrs. C. You have only her word for it. If you don't give her up, I give you up. Mat . I can't, ma'am. She might go into bad ways if I did. Mrs. C. She can't well get into worse. Her language! You would do ever so much better without her. Mat . I daren't, ma'am. I should never get it off my conscience. Mrs. C. Your conscience indeed! ( rising ). I wish you a good morning, Miss Pearson.-( Sound of a blow, followed by scuffling .)-What is that? I fear I have got into an improper place. SUSAN bursts in . Sus . Yes, ma'am, and that you have! It's a wery improper place for the likes o' you, ma'am-as believes all sorts o' wicked things of people as is poor. Who are you to bring your low flunkies a-listenin' at honest girls' doors! ( Turning to James in the doorway .) Get out, will you? Let me catch you here again, and I'll mark you that the devil wouldn't know his own! You dirty Paul Pry-you! ( Falls on her knees to Mattie .) Mattie, you angel! Mat . ( trying to make her get up ) Never mind. It's all right between you and me, Susan. Mrs. C. I see! I thought as much! Sus . ( starting up ) As much as what, then, my lady? Oh, I know you and your sort-well enough! We're the dirt under your feet-lucky if we stick to your shoes! But this room's mine. Mrs. C. That linen was mine, young woman, I believe. Sus . An' it's for that miserable parcel you come a-talkin', an' abusin' as no lady ought to! How dare you look that angel in the face there an' say she stole it-which you're not fit to lace her boots for her! There! Mat . Susan! Susan! do be quiet. Sus . It's all very well for the likes o' me ( courtesying spitefully )-which I'm no better'n I should be, and a great deal worse, if I'm on my oath to your ladyship-that's neither here nor there!-but she's better'n a van-load o' sich ladies as you, pryin' into other people's houses, with yer bibles, an' yer religion, an' yer flunkies! I know ye! I do ! Mat . Don't, Susan. Sus . Why don't ye go an' pay twopence a week to somebody to learn ye good manners? I been better brought up myself. Mrs. C. I see I was wrong: I ought at once to have handed the matter over to the police. Sus . The perlice, indeed!-You get out of this, ma'am, or I'll make you!-you and your cowardly man-pup there, as is afraid to look me in the face through the crack o' the door! Get out, I say, with your- insolence -that's your word! Exit MRS. CLIFFORD. Mat . Susan! Susan! what is to become of us? Sus . She daren't do it-the old scrooge! But just let her try it on! See if I don't show her up afore the magistrate! Mattie! I'll work ray fingers to the bone for you. I would do worse, only you won't let me. I'll go to the court, and tell the magistrate you're a-dyin' of hunger, which it's as true as gospel. Mat . They'd send me to the workhouse, Sukey. Sus . There must be some good people somewheres, Mattie. Mat . Yes; if we could get at them. But we can live till we die, Sukey. Sus . I'll go and list for a soldier, I will. Women ha' done it afore. It's quite respectable, so long as they don't find you out-and they shouldn't me. There's ne'er a one o' the redcoats 'ill cut up rougher 'n I shall-barrin' the beard, and that don't go for much now-a-days. Mat . And what should I do without you, Susan? Sus . Do you care to have me, then? Mat . That I do, indeed. But you shouldn't have talked like that to Mrs. Clifford. Ladies ain't used to such words. They sound worse than they are-quite dreadful, to them. She don't know your kind heart as I do. Besides, the look of things is against us. Ain't it now? Say yourself. Sus . ( starting up ) I'll go and beg her pardon. I'll go direckly-I will. I swear I will. I can't abear her, but I'll do it. I believe hunger has nigh drove me mad. Mat . It takes all the madness out of me.-No, Susan; we must bear it now. Come along. We can be miserable just as well working. There's your sleeve. I'll thread your needle for you. Don't cry-there's a dear! Sus . I will cry. It's all I ever could do to my own mind, and it's all as is left me. But if I could get my claws on that lovyer o' yours, I wouldn't cry then. He's at the bottom of it! I don't see myself what's the use of fallin' in love. One man's as much of a fool as another to me. But you must go to bed. You ain't fit. You'll be easier when you've got your frock off. There! Why, child, you're all of a tremble!-And no wonder, wi' nothing on her blessed body but her frock and her shimmy! Mat . Don't take off my frock, Sue. I must get on with my work. Sus . Lie down a bit, anyhow. I'll lie at your back, and you'll soon be as warm's a toast. (MAT. lies down .) O Lord! she's dead! Her heart's stopped beatin'. ( Runs out of the room .) A moment of silence. A tap at the door . CONSTANCE peeps in, then enters, with a basket . Con . Miss Pearson!-She's asleep. ( Goes near .) Good heavens! ( Lays her hand on her .) No. ( Takes a bottle from her basket, finds a cup, and pours into it .) Take this, Miss Pearson; it will do you good. There now! You'll find something else in the basket. Mat . I don't want anything. I had so nearly got away! Why did you bring me back? Con . Life is good! Mat . It is not good. How dare you do it? Why keep a miserable creature alive? Life ain't to us what it is to you. The grave is the only place we have any right to. Con . If I could make your life worth something to you- Mat . You make my life worth to me! You don't know what you're saying, miss. ( Sitting up .) Con . I think I do. Mat . I will not owe my life to you. I could love you, though-your hands are so white, and your look so brave. That's what comes of being born a lady. We never have a chance. Con . Miss Pearson-Mattie, I would call you, if you wouldn't be offended- Mat . Me offended, miss!-I've not got life enough for it. I only want my father and my mother, and a long sleep.-If I had been born rich- Con . You might have been miserable all the same. Listen, Mattie. I will tell you my story-I was once as badly off as you-worse in some ways-ran about the streets without shoes to my feet, and hardly a frock to cover me. Mat . La, miss! you don't say so! It's not possible! Look at you! Con . Indeed, I tell you the truth. I know what hunger is too-well enough. My father was a silkweaver in Spitalfields. When he died, I didn't know where to go. But a gentleman- Mat . Oh! a gentleman!-( Fiercely .) Why couldn't you be content with one , then? Con . I don't understand you. Mat . I dare say not! There! take your basket. I'll die afore a morsel passes my lips. There! Go away, miss. Con . ( aside ). Poor girl! she is delirious. I must ask William to fetch a doctor. Exit . Mat . I wish my hands were as white as hers. Enter SUSAN, followed by COL. G. CONSTANCE behind . Sus . Mattie! dear Mattie! this gentleman-don't be vexed-I couldn't help him bein' a gentleman; I was cryin' that bad, and I didn't see no one come up to me, and when he spoke to me, it made me jump, and I couldn't help answerin' of him-he spoke so civil and soft like, and me nigh mad! I thought you was dead, Mattie. He says he'll see us righted, Mattie. Col. G. I'll do what I can, if you will tell me what's amiss. Sus . Oh, everything's amiss-everything!-Who was that went out, Mattie-this minute-as we come in? Mat . Miss Lacordere. Sus . Her imperence! Well! I should die of shame if I was her. Mat . She's an angel, Susan. There's her basket. I told her to take it away, but she would leave it. Sus . ( peeping into the basket ). Oh, my! Ain't this nice? You must have a bit, Mattie. Mat . Not one mouthful. You wouldn't have me, Susan! Sus . I ain't so peticlar ( eating a great mouthful ). You really must, Mattie. ( Goes on eating .) Col. G. Don't tease her. We'll get something for her presently. And don't you eat too much-all at once. Sus . I think she'd like a chop, sir.-There's that boy, Bill, again!-Always when he ain't wanted! Enter BILL. Bill ( aside to Susan ). What's the row? What's that 'ere gent up to? I've been an' had enough o' gents. They're a bad lot. I been too much for one on 'em, though. I ha' run him down.-And, Mattie, I've found the old gen'leman. Mat . My father, Bill? Bill . That's it percisely! Right as a trivet-he is! Mat . Susan! take hold of me. My heart's going again. Bill . Lord! what's up wi' Mattie? She do look dreadful. Sus . You been an' upset her, you clumsy boy! Here-run and fetch a sausage or two, and a- Col. G. No, no! That will never do. Sus . Them's for Bill and me, sir. I was a goin' on, sir.-And, Bill, a chop-a nice chop. But Lord! how are we to cook it, with never a fryin'-pan, or a bit o' fire to set it on! Col. G. You'd never think of doing a chop for an invalid in the frying-pan? Sus . Certainly not, sir-we 'ain't got one. Everything's up the spout an' over the top. Run, Bill. A bit of cold chicken, and two pints o' bottled stout. There's the money the gen'leman give me.-'T 'ain't no Miss Lackodare's, Mattie. Bill . I'll trouble no gen'leman to perwide for my family-obleeged all the same, sir. Mattie never wos a dub at dewourin', but I'll get her some'at toothsome. I favours grub myself. Col. G. I'll go with you, Bill. I want to talk to you. Bill . Well, I 'ain't no objection-so be you wants to talk friendly, sir. Col. G. Good night. I'll come and see you to-morrow. Sus . God bless you, sir. You've saved both on our lives. I was a goin' to drown myself, Mattie-I really was this time. Wasn't I, sir? Col. G. Well, you looked like it-that is all I can say. You shall do it next time-so far as I'm concerned. Sus . I won't never no more again, sir-not if Mattie don't drive me to it. Con . ( to COL. G.). Come back for me in a little while. Col. G. Yes, miss. Come, Bill. Exit . Bill . All right, sir. I'm a follerin', as the cat said to the pigeon. Exit . Sus . I'll just go and get you a cup o' tea. Mrs. Jones's kettle's sure to be a bilin'. That's what you would like. Exit . Constance steps aside, and Susan passes without seeing her . Mat . Oh! to be a baby again in my mother's arms! But it'll soon be over now. CONSTANCE comes forward . Con . I hope you're a little better now? Mat . You're very kind, miss; and I beg your pardon for speaking to you as I did. Con . Don't say a word about it. You didn't quite know what you were saying. I'm in trouble myself. I don't know how soon I may be worse off than you. Mat . Why, miss, I thought you were going to be married! Con . No, I am not. Mat . Why, miss, what's happened. He's never going to play you false-is he? Con . I don't mean ever to speak to him again? Mat . What has he done to offend you, miss? Con . Nothing. Only I know now I don't like him. To tell you the truth, Mattie, he's not a gentleman. Mat . Not a gentleman, miss! How dare you say so? Con . Do you know anything about him? Did you ever see him? Mat . Yes. Con . Where? Mat . Once at your house. Con . Oh! I remember-that time! I begin to-It couldn't be at the sight of him you fainted, Mattie?-You knew him? Tell me! tell me! Make me sure of it. Mat . To give you your revenge! No. It's a mean spite to say he ain't a gentleman. Con . Perhaps you and I have different ideas of what goes to make a gentleman. Mat . Very likely. Con . Oh! don't be vexed, Mattie. I didn't mean to hurt you. Mat . Oh! I dare say! Con . If you talk to me like that, I must go. Mat . I never asked you to come. Con . Well, I did want to be friendly with you. I wouldn't hurt you for the world. Mat . ( bursting into tears ) I beg your pardon, miss. I'm behaving like a brute. But you must forgive me; my heart is breaking. Con . Poor dear! ( kissing her ) So is mine almost. Let us be friends. Where's Susan gone? Mat . To fetch me a cup of tea. She'll be back directly. Con . Don't let her say bad words: I can't bear them. I think it's because I was so used to them once-in the streets, I mean-not at home-never at home. Mat . She don't often, miss. She's a good-hearted creature. It's only when hunger makes her cross. She don't like to be hungry. Con . I should think not, poor girl! Mat . Don't mind what she says, please. If you say nothing, she'll come all right. When she's spoken her mind, she feels better. Here she comes! Re-enter SUSAN. It begins to grow dark . Sus . Well, and who have we got here? Mat . Miss Lacordere, Sukey. Sus . There's no lack o' dare about her , to come here! Mat . It's very kind of her to come, Susan. Sus . I tell you what, miss: that parcel was stole. It was stole, miss!-stole from me-an' that angel there a dyin' in the street! Con . I'm quite sure of it, Susan. I never thought anything else. Sus . Not but I allow it was a pity, miss!-I'm very sorry. But, bless you! ( lighting a candle )-with all your fine clothes-! My! you look like a theayter-queen-you do, miss! If you was to send them up the spout now!-My! what a lot they'd let you have on that silk! Con . The shawl is worth a good deal, I believe. It's an Indian one-all needlework. Sus . And the bee-utiful silk! Laws, miss! just shouldn't I like to wear a frock like that! I should be hard up before I pledged that ! But the shawl! If I was you, miss, I would send 'most everything up before that!-things inside, you know, miss-where it don't matter so much. Con . ( laughing ) The shawl would be the first thing I should part with. I would rather be nice inside than out. Sus . Lawk, miss! I shouldn't wonder if that was one of the differs now! Well, I never! It ain't seen! It must be one o' the differs! Con . What differs? I don't understand you. Sus . The differs 'tween girls an' ladies-girls like me an' real ladies like you. Con . Oh, I see! But how dark it has got! What can be keeping William? I must go at once, or what will my aunt say! Would you mind going with me a little bit, Susan? Sus . I'll go with pleasure, miss. Con . Just a little way, I mean, till we get to the wide streets. You couldn't lend me an old cloak, could you? Sus . I 'ain't got one stitch, miss, but what I stand up in-'cep' it be a hodd glove an' 'alf a pocket-'an'kercher. Nobody 'ill know you. Con . But I oughtn't to be out dressed like this. Sus . You've only got to turn up your skirt over your head, miss. Con . ( drawing up her skirt ) I never thought of that! Sus . Well, I never! Con . What's the matter? Sus . Only the whiteness o' the linin' as took my breath away, miss. It ain't no use turnin' of it up: you'll look like a lady whatever you do to hide it. But never mind: that ain't no disgrace so long as you don't look down on the rest of us. There, miss! There you are-fit for a play! Come along; I'll take care of you. Lawks! I'm as good as a man- I am! Con . Good-bye then, Mattie. Mat . Good-bye, miss. God bless you. Exeunt . END OF ACT III. ACT IV. SCENE.- The Studio . Enter COL. G. Walks about restless and eager . Col. G. Thank heaven! If Bill has found Mr. Warren now,- Exit . Enter WARREN. War . What can the fellow be up to? There's something odd about him-something I don't like-but it can't mean mischief when he sends for me. Where could Gervaise have picked him up?-Nobody here? Re-enter COL. G. and hurries to him with outstretched hand . Col. G. My dear sir! I am greatly obliged to you. This is very kind. War . ( stepping back ) Excuse me.-I do not understand. Col. G. I beg your pardon. I ought to have explained. War . I believe something of the sort is necessary. Col. G. You are my master's friend. War . I should be proud of the honour. Can I be of any service to him? Col. G. I believe I can trust you. I will trust you-I am his father. War . Whose father? Belzebub's? Col. G. Arthur's-your friend Gervaise's. I am Sir Walter Gervaise. You must help me to help him. WARREN regards him for a moment . War . ( stiffly ) Sir Walter, I owe your son much-you nothing yet. I am his friend. Col. G. There is not a moment to lose. Listen. An old man came about the place a few weeks ago, looking for his daughter. He has been got out of the way, but I have learned where he is: I want you to bring him. War . I would serve your son blindfold: you must excuse me if I wish to understand first. Col. G. Arthur is in trouble. He has a secret.-God forgive me!-I feared it was a bad one. War . You don't know him as I do! Col. G. I know him now-and can help him. Only I can't prove anything yet. I must have the old man. I've found his daughter, and suspect the villain: if I can bring the three together, all will come out, sure enough. The boy I sent for you will take you to the father. He will trust you, and come. ( Bell rings .) I must go to Arthur now. Exit . War . What a strange old fellow! An officer-and disguise himself! Enter BILL. Bill . Here you are, sir! War . No vast amount of information in that statement, my boy! Bill . Well, sir-here I are, sir. War . That is a trifle more to the point, though scarcely requiring mention. Bill . Then, here we are, sir. War . That'll do-if you know what comes next? Bill . I do, sir. War . Go on, then. Bill . Here goes! Come along, sir. You'll have to take a bobby, though. War . We'll see about that. You go on. Exeunt . Enter GERVAISE, followed by COL. G. Ger. What a time you have been, William! Col. G. I'm sorry, sir. Did you want anything? Ger. No. But I don't like to be left. You are the only friend I have. Col. G. Thank you, sir. A man must do his duty, but it's a comfort when his colonel takes notice of it. Ger. Is it all from duty, William? Yet why should I look for more? There was a little girl I tried to do my duty by once-My head's rather queer still, William. Col. G. Is there nothing to be done, sir? Ger. No; it's here-( putting his hand to his head )-inside. Col. G. I meant about the little girl, sir.-I can keep dark as well as another.-When there's anything on a man's mind, sir-good or bad-it's a relief to mention it. If you could trust me-( A pause .) Men have trusted their servants and not repented it. Ger. No doubt-no doubt. But there is no help for me. Col. G. You cannot be sure of that, sir. Ger. You would help me if you could, I believe. Col. G. God knows I would, sir-to the last drop of my blood. Ger. That's saying much, William. A son couldn't say more-no, nor a father either. Col. G. Oh! yes, he could, sir. Ger. And mean it? Col. G. Yes. Ger. If I had a father, William, I would tell him all about it. I was but two years old when he left me. Col. G. Then you don't remember him, sir? Ger. I often dream about him, and then I seem to remember him. Col. G. What is he like, sir?-in your dreams, I mean. Ger. I never see him distinctly: I try hard sometimes, but it's no use. If he would but come home! I feel as if I could bear anything then.-But I'm talking like a girl! Col. G. Where is your father, sir? Ger. In India. Col. G. A soldier, sir? Ger. Yes. Colonel Gervaise-you must have heard of him. Sir Walter he is now. Col. G. I've heard of him , sir-away in the north parts he's been, mostly. Ger. Yes. How I wish he would come home! I would do everything to please him. I have it, William! I'll go to India. I did think of going to Garibaldi-but I won't-I'll go to India. I must find my father. Will you go with me? Col. G. Willingly, sir. Ger. Is there any fighting there now? Col. G. Not at present, I believe. Ger. That's a pity. I would have listed in my father's regiment, and then-that is, by the time he found me out-he wouldn't be ashamed of me. I've done nothing yet. I'm nobody yet, and what could he do with a son that was nobody-a great man like him! A fine son I should be! A son ought to be worthy of his father. Don't you think so, William? Col. G. That wouldn't be difficult, sir!-I mean with most fathers. Ger. Ah! but mine , you know, William!-Are you good at the cut and thrust? Col G. Pretty good, sir, I believe. Ger. Then we'll have a bout or two. I've got rusty.-Have I said anything odd-or-or-I mean since I've been ill? Col. G. Nothing you need mind, sir. Ger. I'm glad of that.-I feel as if-( putting his hand to his head ). William! what could you do for a man-if he was your friend?-no, I mean, if he was your enemy? Col. G. I daren't say, sir. Ger. Is the sun shining? Col. G. Yes, sir. It's a lovely day. Ger. What a desert the sky is!-so dreary and wide and waste!-Ah! if I might but creep into a hole in a tree, and feel it closing about me! How comfortable those toads must feel! Col. G. ( aside ). He's getting light-headed again! I must send for the doctor. Exit . Ger. But the tree would rot, and the walls grow thin, and the light come through. It is crumbling now! And I shall have to meet her ! And then the wedding! Oh my God! ( Starts up and paces about the room .)-It is the only way! My pistols, I think-yes.-( Goes to a table, finds his keys, and unlocks a case .)-There they are! I may as well have a passport at hand! ( Loading one .)-The delicate thunder-tube! ( Turns it over lovingly .) Solitude and silence! One roar and then rest! No-no rest!-still the demon to fight! But no eyes to meet and brave!-Who is that in the street?-She is at the door-with him! Enter COL. G. and seizes his arm . Ger. ( with a cry ). You've killed my Psyche! ( Goes to the clay, and lifts the cloth .) There's the bullet-hole through her heart! Col. G. It might have been worse, sir. Ger. Worse! I've killed her! See where she flies! She's gone! She's gone! ( Bursts into tears . COL. G. leads him to the couch .) Thank you, William. I couldn't help it. That man was with her. I meant it for myself. Col. G. Who did you say was with her? Ger. You mustn't heed what I say. I am mad. ( A knock. He starts up .) Don't let them in, William. I shall rave if you do. COL. G. catches up the pistols and exit hurriedly . GER. throws himself on the couch . Re-enter COL. G. Col. G. ( aside ). He is in love with her! Everything proves it. My boy! My boy! Ger. Father! father!-Oh, William! I was dreaming, and took you for my father! I must die, William-somehow. There must be some way out of this! The doors can't all be locked. Col. G. There's generally a chance to be had, sir. There's always a right and a wrong fighting it out somewhere. There's Garibaldi in the field again! Die by the hand of an enemy-if you will die, sir. Ger. ( smiling ) That I couldn't, William: the man that killed me would be my best friend.-Yes-Garibaldi!-I don't deserve it, though: he fights for his country; I should fight but for death. Only a man doesn't stop when he dies-does he, William? Col. G. I trust not, sir. But he may hope to be quieter-that is, if he dies honestly. It's grand for a soldier! He sweeps on the roaring billows of war into a soundless haven! Think of that, sir! Ger. Why, William! how you talk!-Yes! it would be grand! On the crest of the war-cataract-heading a cavalry charge!-Tomorrow, William. I shall be getting stronger all the way. We'll start to-morrow. Col. G. Where for, sir? Ger. For Italy-for Garibaldi. You'll go with me? Col. G. To the death, sir. Ger. Yes; that's it-that's where I'm going. But not to-day. Look at my arm: it wouldn't kill a rat!-You saved my life, but I'm not grateful. If I was dead, I might be watching her-out of the lovely silence!-My poor Psyche! Col. G. She's none the worse, sir. The pistol didn't go off. Ger. Ah!-She ought to have fallen to pieces-long ago! You've been seeking to keep her shroud wet. But it's no matter. Let her go. Earth to earth, and dust to dust!-the law of Nature-and Art too. Exit into the house . Col. G. ( following him ) I mustn't lose sight of him.-Here he comes again, thank God! Catches up a coat, and begins brushing it . Re-enter GER. Ger. I don't like to see you doing that. Col. G. Why shouldn't I serve my own-superior, sir? Anything's better than serving yourself. And that's what every one does who won't serve other people. Ger. You are right. And it's so cheap. Col. G. And so nasty! Ger. Right again, William!-Right indeed!-You're a gentleman! If there's anything I could help you in-anything gone wrong,-any friends offended-I'm not altogether without influence. Col. G. ( aside ) He will vanquish me with my own weapons! Ger. But you will go to Garibaldi with me? Col. G. I will, sir. Ger. And ride by my side? Col. G. Of course. Ger. If you ride by me, you will have to ride far. Col. G. I know, sir. But if you would be fit for fighting, you must come and have something to eat and drink. Ger. All right. A soldier must obey: I shall begin by obeying you. Only mind you keep up with me. Exit, leaning on COL. G. Enter THOMAS. Tho. Th' dule a mon be yere! Aw're main troubled to get shut ov they reyvers! Aw'm olez i' trouble! Mine's a gradely yed! it be!-Hoy!-Nobory yere! 'T seems to me, honest men be scarce i' Lonnon. Aw'm beawn to believe nobory but mo own heighes, and mo own oud lass. Exit . Re-enter GERVAISE, followed by COL. G. Ger. No, William; I won't lie down. I feel much better. Let's have a bout with the foils. Col. G. Very well, sir. ( Aside .) A little of that will go far, I know. ( Gets down the foils .) Ger. And, William, you must set a block up here. I shall have a cut or two at it to-morrow. There's a good cavalry weapon up there-next that cast of Davis's arm. Col. G. Suppose your father were to arrive just after you had started! Ger. I shouldn't mind. I don't want to see him yet. I'm such a poor creature! The heart seems to have gone out of me. You see, William- Enter MRS. CLIFFORD. Ger. Ah! How do you do, aunt? Mrs. C. What's this nonsense about Garibaldi, Arthur? Ger. Who told you? Mrs. C. You don't mean it's true? Ger. Quite true, aunt. Mrs. C. Really, Arthur, you are more of a scatterbrain than I took you for! Ger. Don't say that, aunt. I only take after my father. Mrs. C. Don't talk to me of your father! I have no patience with him. A careless hard-hearted fellow-not worthy the name of a father! ( She glares at SIR WALTER.) Ger. You may go, William. (COL. G. retires slowly .) Ger. Aunt, you have been a mother to me; but were you really my mother, I must not listen to such words of my father. He has good reasons for what he does, though I admit there is something in it we don't understand. ( Aside .) If I could but understand how Constance- Mrs. C. What do you say? What was that about Constance? Ger. Oh, nothing, aunt. I was only thinking how difficult it is to understand people. Mrs. C. If you mean Constance, I agree with you. She is a most provoking girl. Ger. ( smiling ) I am sorry to hear that, aunt. Mrs. C. I'm very glad you were never so silly as take a fancy to the girl. She would have led you a pretty dance! If you saw how she treats that unfortunate Waterfield! But what's bred in the bone won't out of the flesh. Ger. There's nothing bred in her I would have out, aunt. Mrs. C. Perhaps she originated her vulgarity. That is a shade worse. Ger. Vulgarity , aunt! I cannot remember the meaning of the word when I think of her . Mrs. C. If you choose to insult me, Arthur- Exit . Ger. It is high time I were gone! If I should be called in now to settle matters between-William! William!-William! Enter COL. G. Ger. To-morrow, William. Not a word. If you will go with me, I shall be glad. If you will not, I shall go without you. Exit . Col. G. Yes, sir.-I wish Warren were here with the old man. I don't know what to do till he comes. Enter CONSTANCE. Con. I thought my aunt was here, William. Col. G. No, miss. She was here, but she's gone again. Con. Could I see Mr. Gervaise for a moment? Col. G. Certainly, miss. I'll tell him. Con. Is he still determined on going, William? Col. G. Yes, miss;-to-morrow, he says. Con. To-morrow! Col. G. Yes, miss. I think he means to start for Dover in the morning. Con. What am I to do? Col. G. What's the matter, miss? Con. What can I do? I know he is angry with me. I don't quite know why. I wish I had never-I can't help it now. My heart will break. ( Weeps .) Col. G. Don't let him go to Dover to-morrow, miss. Con. He would have listened to me once. He won't now. It's all so different! Everything has gone wrong somehow. Col. G. Do try to keep him from going, miss. Con. He would but think me forward. I could bear anything better than have him think ill of me. Col. G. No fear of that, miss. The danger is all the other way. Con. What other way, William? Col. G. He thinks you don't care a bit about him. Exit . CONSTANCE drops on the dais, nearly under the veiled Psyche . Enter GER. and stands a moment regarding her . Ger. Constance. Con. ( starting up, and flying to him with her hands clasped ) Arthur! Arthur! don't go. I can't bear you to go. It's all my fault, but do forgive me! Oh, do, do- dear Arthur! Don't go to-morrow. I shall be miserable if you do. Ger. But why, my-why, Constance? Con. I was your Constance once. Ger. But why should I not go? Nobody wants me here. Con. Oh, Arthur! how can you be so cruel? Can it be that-? Do say something. If you won't say anything, how can I know what you are thinking-what you wish? Perhaps you don't like-I would-I have-I won't-Oh, Arthur! do say something. Ger. I have nothing to say, Constance. Con. Then I have lost you-altogether! I dare say I deserve it. I hardly know. God help me! What can I have done so very wicked? Oh! why did you take me out of the streets? I should have been used to them by this time! They are terrible to me now. No, no, Arthur! I thank you-thank you-with my very soul! What might I not have been by this time! But I used to lie in that corner, and I daren't now! Enter COL. G. behind . It was a happy time, for I had not offended you then. Good-bye. Won't you say one word to me?-You will never see me again. She pauses a moment; then exit weeping-by the back door, behind the Psyche . COL. G. follows her . Ger. How could she love that fellow? ( Looking up .) Gone? gone! My Constance! My Psyche! I've driven her into the wild street! O my God! William! William! Constance! Which door? I won't go, Constance-I won't. I will do anything you ask me. What was that she said?- Good-bye ! God in heaven!-William! you idiot! where are you? William! He rushes out by the front door. Re-enter COL. G. by the back door . Col. G. It was lucky I met Bill! He's after her like the wind. That message will bring her back, I think. I could trust that boy with anything! But where is he? ( Enter THOMAS.) What, friend! here at last! Thank God! Just sit down a moment, will you? ( Peeps into the room off the study .) He's not there! I heard him calling this moment! Perhaps he's in the house.-Did you leave the door open, sir? Tho. Nay. Th' dur wur oppen. Aw seigh sombory run eawt as aw coom oop. Col. G. My boy! my boy! It will kill him!-Stop here till I come back. ( Rushes out .) Tho. Aw connot stop. Aw'm tired enough, God knows, to stop anywheeres; mo yed goes reawnd and reawnd, an' aw'd fain lie mo deawn. But aw mun be gooin'. Nobory can tell what may be coomin to mo Mattie. Aw mun go look, go look! Ha! ha! they couldn't keep mo, owd mon as aw wur! But aw wish aw hed a word wi' th' mon first. Enter WARREN. War. ( aside ) This must be the old fellow himself! Here he is after all! ( Peeps into the room .) Tho. Theer be nobory theer, sir. Th' maister's run eawt, and th' mon after him. War. Run out! Tho. Aw niver says what aw donnot mane. An' aw'm glad yo're theer, sir; for William he towd mo to stay till he coom back; but aw've not geet so mich time to spare; and so be's yo're a friend ov th' maister's, yo'll mebbe mind th' shop a smo' bit. Aw mun goo ( going ). War. I say, old man-your name's Thomas Pearson-ain't it? Tho. Yigh. Aw yer. But hea cooms to to knaw mo name? War. I know all about you. Tho. Ivvery body knaws ivvery body yere! Aw connot stur a fut fur folks as knaws mo, and knaws mo name, and knaws what aw be after. Lonnon is a dreedfu' plaze. Aw mun geet mo lass to whoam. Yo'll mind th' shop till th' maister cooms back. Good neet ( going ). War. ( stopping him ) They want you here a bit. You'd better stop. The man will be back directly. You're too suspicious. Tho. Nea, maister, thae'rt wrung theer. Aw've trusted too mich-a theawsand times too mich. War. You trusted the wrong people, then. Tho. It taks no mak o' a warlock to tell mo that, maister. It's smo' comfort, noather. War. Well now, you give me a turn, and hear what I've got to say. Tho. Yo're o' tarred wi' th' same stick. Ivvery body maks gam ov th' poor owd mon! Let me goo, maister. Aw want mo chylt, mo Mattie! War. You must wait till Mr. Gervaise's man comes back. Tho. ( despairingly ) O Lord. Th' peack ov sunbrunt lies they ha' been tellin' me sin' aw coom yere!-childer an o'! War. Have patience, man. You won't repent it. Tho. What mun be, mun. Aw connot ha' patience, but aw con stop. Aw'd rayther goo, though. Aw'm noan sorry to rest noather. ( Sits down on the dais .) Enter BILL. War. Here, boy! Don't let the old man go till some one comes. Exit . Bill . All right, sir! Hillo, daddy! There you are! Thank God! Tho. What fur, boy? Wull he gie mo mo Mattie again-dosto think? Bill . That he will, daddy! You come along, an' you'll know a honest boy next time.-I can't till I see Mr. William, though. Tho. Iv thae manes th' maister's mon yere, he's run eawt. An' aw connot goo witho. Aw'm keepin' th' shop till he coom back. An' aw dunnot mich care to goo witho. Aw dunnot mich trust tho. Th' Lord have a care ov mo! Aw dimnot knaw which to trust, and which not to trust. But aw mun wait for maister William, as yo co' him. Bill . All right, daddy!-Don't you stir from here till I come back-not for nobody-no, not for Joseph! Tho. Aw dunnot knaw no Joseph. Bill . I'll soon let you see I'm a honest boy! As you can't go to Mattie, I'll bring Mattie to you: see if I don't! An' if she ain't the right un, I'll take her back, and charge ye nuffin for carriage. Can't say fairer than that, daddy! Tho. Bless tho, mo boy! Dosto mane it true? Bill . Yes-an' that you'll see, afore you're an 'alf an hour older, daddy. When Mr. William comes, you say to him, "Bill's been.-All right." Tho. Aw dunnot like secrets, lad. What don yo mane? Ivvery body seems to mane something, and nobory to say it. Bill. Never you mind, daddy! "Bill's been.-All right." That's your ticket. I'm off. Exit . THOMAS gets up, and walks about, murmuring to himself. A knock at the door . Tho. Somebory after mo again! Aw'll geet eawt ov th' way. ( Goes behind the Psyche .) Enter WATERFIELD. Wat . Nobody here! I am unlucky. "Not at home," said the rascal,-and grinned, by Jove! I'll be at the bottom of this. There's no harm in Gervaise. He's a decent fellow. ( Knocks at the door of GER.'S room .) I won't leave the place till I've set things right-not if I've got to give him a post-obit for five thousand-I won't!-Nobody there? ( Looks in .) No. Then I'll go in and wait. Exit . Tho. ( peeping from behind the Psyche ). That's the villain! Lord o' mercy! that's the villain! If aw're as strung as aw'm owd, aw'd scrunch his yed-aw would! Aw'm sure it's th' mon. He kep eawt ov mo way-but aw seigh him once. O Lord, keep mo hands off ov him. Aw met kill him. Aw'm sartin sure ov him when aw see him. Aw'll not goo nigh him till somebory cooms-cep' he roons away. Aw'm noan fleyed ov him, but aw met not be able to keep mo howd ov him. Oh, mo Mattie! mo Mattie! to leave thi owd faither for sich a mak ov a mon as yon! But yere cooms somebory moor. ( Goes behind the Psyche .) Enter MRS. CLIFFORD. Mrs. C. No one here? She can never be in his room with him! ( Opens the door .) Oh! Mr. Waterfield! You're here-are you? Wat . ( coming to the door ). Mrs. Clifford! This is indeed an unexpected pleasure! Mrs. C. Have you got Constance with you there? Wat . I've no such good fortune. Mrs. C. Where is she, then? Wat . At home, I presume. Mrs. C. Indeed she is not. I must speak to Arthur. Wat . He's not here. Mrs. C. Where's my-his man, then? Wat . Taken himself off to the public-house, I suppose. There's nobody about. Odd-ain't it? Mrs. C. I'll go and see. Exit into the house . Wat . What can be the row! there is some row. Exit into the room . Enter GER., supported by COL. G. Col. G. Thank God! Thank God! Ger. But where is she? I shall go mad if you've told me a lie. Col. G. I saw her, and sent a messenger after her. We shall have news of her presently. Do have a little patience, sir. Get. How can I have patience? I'm a brute-a mean, selfish devil! If that fellow Waterfield was to horse-whip me-I should let him. Tho. ( coming forward ). Theer wur that yung chap yere a while agoo, and he said aw wur to say to Maister William-what wur it aw're to say?-Yigh-it wur-"Bill's been. O'reet." Col. G. There, sir! I told you so. Do sit down. I'll go after her. Ger. I will. I will. Only make haste. ( Stands staring at the Psyche .) Tho. Th' boy said he'd be yere direckly. Col. G. You sit down. I'll be with you presently. Tho. ( retiring behind the Psyche ). Aw're noan likely to goo, maister. Enter MRS. C. Crosses to room door. Enter WATERFIELD. They talk . Ger. William! I don't want them. ( Retreats towards the Psyche .) Col. G. Sit here one moment, sir. ( Leads him to the dais. Advances to MRS. C.) Mrs. C. ( trying to pass him ). Arthur, what can-? Col. G. ( intercepting her ). Let him rest a bit, ma'am, if you please. He's been out for the first time. Mrs. C. At night! and in a fog! A pretty nurse you are! Poor boy! Col. G. Mr. Waterfield, sir, would you mind stepping into the room again for a moment? ( Exit WAT.) Mrs. Clifford, ma'am, would you please get a glass of wine for master? Exit MRS. C. into the house . Ger. William! William! Col. G. Yes, sir. Ger. Send him away. Don't let him stop there. I have nothing to say to him. Col. G. He shan't trouble you, sir. I'll take care of that. ( Goes behind the Psyche to THOMAS, but keeps watching the door of the room .)-Did you see the man that went in there just now? Tho. ( with anxiety ). He winnot joomp eawt ov th' window, dosto thenk, lad? Re-enter MRS. C. with wine . GER. drinks . Col. G. Why should he do that? Do you know anything about him? Tho. Aw do. Col. G. Has he seen you here? Tho. No. Aw're afeard he'd roon away, and aw keepet snoog. Col. G. I needn't ask who it is, then? Tho. Yo needn't, lad. Enter WATERFIELD. Tho. Mo conscience! he'll pike eawt afoor aw geet howd on him! ( Rushes out and seizes WAT.) Enter MATTIE and BILL. Tho. Thae'rt a domned villain! Wheer's mo Mattie? WATERFIELD knocks THOMAS down . Bill. O Lord! the swell's murdered old daddy! All but GER. rush together . COLONEL GERVAISE seizes WATERFIELD. MATTIE throws herself on her knees beside THOMAS and lifts his head . Mat . Father! father! Look at me! It's Mattie!-your own wicked Mattie! Look at her once, lather dear! ( Lays down his head in despair, and rises .) Who struck the good old man? Bill. He did-the swell as give me the gold sov. Mat . Mr. Watkins!- Wat . I haven't the honour of the gentleman's acquaintance. I'm not Mr. Watkins. Am I now? ( to COL. G.). Ha! ha!-Let go, I say. I'm not the man. It's all a mistake, you see. Col. G. In good time. I might make a worse. Watkins mayn't be your name, but Watkins is your nature. Wat . Damn your insolence! Let rue go, I tell you! ( Struggles threatening .) Col. G. Gently, gently, young man!-If I give your neckcloth a twist now-! Mat . Yes, there is a mistake-and a sad one for me! A wretch that would strike an old man! Indeed you are not what I took you for. Wat . You hear the young woman! She says it's all a mistake.-My good girl, I'm sorry for the old gentleman; but he oughtn't to behave like a ruffian. Really, now, you know, a fellow can't stand that sort of thing! A downright assault! I'm sorry I struck him, though-devilish sorry! I'll pay the damage with pleasure. ( Puts his hand in his pocket .) Mat . ( turning away ) And not a gentleman! ( Kneels by THOMAS and weeps .) Tho. ( feebly .) Dunnot greight, Mattie, mo chylt. Aw'm o' reet. Let th' mon goo. What's he to tho or mo?-By th' mass! aw'm strung enough to lick him yet ( trying to rise, but falling back ). Eigh! eigh! mo owd boans 'ud rayther not. It's noan blame sure to an owd mon to fo' tired o' feightin! Mat . ( taking' his head on her lap ). Father! father! forgive me! I'm all yours.-I'll go home with you, and work for you till I drop. O father! how could I leave you for him? I don't care one bit for him now-I don't indeed. You'll forgive me-won't you, father? ( Sobs .) Tho. Aw wull, aw do, mo Mattie. Coom whoam-coom whoam. Mat . Will mother forgive me, father? Tho. Thi mother, chylt? Hoo's forgiven tho lung afoor-ivver so lung agoo, chylt! Thi mother may talk leawd, but her heart is as soft as parritch.-Thae knows it, Mattie. Wat . All this is very interesting,-only you see it's the wrong man, and I can't say he enjoys it. Take your hand off my collar-will you? I'm not the man, I tell you! Bill. All I says is-it's the same swell as guv me the skid to find her. I'll kiss the book on that! Ger. ( coming forward ). Mr. Waterfield, on your honour, do you know this girl? Wat . Come! you ain't goin' to put me to my catechism! Ger. You must allow appearances are against you. Wat . Damn your appearances! What do I care? Ger. If you will not answer my question, I must beg you to leave the place. Wat . My own desire! Will you oblige me by ordering this bull-dog of yours to take his paws off me? What the devil is he keeping me here for? Col. G. I've a great mind to give you in charge. Wat . The old codger assaulted me first. Col. G. True; but the whole affair would come to light. That's what I would have. Miss Pearson, what am I to do with this man? Enter SUSAN at the back door. Behind her, CONSTANCE peeps in . Mat . Let him go.-Father! Father! (Kisses him .) Sus . That can never be Mattie's gentleman, sure-ly! Hm! I don't think much of him . I knew he had ugly eyes! I told you so, Mattie! I wouldn't break my heart for him -no, nor for twenty of him-I wouldn't! He looks like a drowned cat. Wat . What the devil have you got to do with it? Sus. Nothing . You shut up. Wat . Well, I'm damned if I know whether I'm on my head or my heels. Sus . 'Tain't no count which. Bill ( aside to COL. G.). She's at the back door, Mr. William. Col. G. Who is, Bill? Miss Lacordere? Bill. Right you air! COL. G. hastens to the door . CON. peeps in and draws lack . COL. G. follows her. WATERFIELD approaches MATTIE. Wat . Miss Pearson, if that's- Mat . I don't know you-don't even know your name. Wat . ( looking round ). You hear her say it! She don't know me! Mat . Could you try and rise, father? I want to get out of this. There's a lady here says I'm a thief! Tho. Nea, that she connot say, Mattie! Thae cooms ov honest folk. Aw'll geet oop direckly. ( Attempts to rise .) Eigh! eigh! aw connot! aw connot! Mrs. C. If I have been unjust to you, Miss Pearson, I shall not fail to make amends. Sus . It's time you did then, ma'am. You've murdered her, and all but murdered me. That's how your little bill stands. Ger. ( to WAT.) Leave the place, Mr. Waterfield. Wat . You shall answer for this, Gervaise. Ger. Leave the study at once. Wat . Tut! tut! I'll make it up to them. A bank note's a good plaster. Bill . Pleasir, shall I run and fetch a bobby? I likes to see a swell wanted. Ger. You hold your tongue. ( Retires to the dais and sits down. MRS. C. follows him .) Wat . ( taking out his pocket-book, and approaching MATTIE). I didn't think you'd have served me so, Mattie! Indeed I didn't! It's not kind after what's been between you and me. (MATTIE rises and stands staring at him .) You've ruined my prospects-you have! But I don't want to bear malice: take that.-Old times, you know!-Take it. You're welcome. ( Forces the note on her. She steps back. It drops .) Mat . This is a humiliation! Will nobody take him away? Sus . ( rushing at him ). You be off! An' them goggle eyes o' yours, or I 'll goggle 'em! I can't bear the sight on 'em. I should never ha' taken you for a gentleman. You don't look it. You slope, I say! ( Hustles him .) WATERFIELD picks up the note, and exit . Mat . ( bursting into tears ) Father! father! don't hate me; don't despise me. THOMAS tries to get up, but falls back . Bill . Don't be in no hurry, Daddy. There's none but friends here now-'cep' the old lady;-she do look glum. Sus . I'll soon settle her hash! Mat . Susie! Susie! Don't-there's a dear! Sus . What business has she here then! She's not a doin' of nothink. Mat . Don't you see she's looking after the poor gentleman there? Ger. William!-William!-Gone again! What a fellow he is! The best servant in the world, but always vanishing! Call your James-will you, aunt? We must have the old man put to bed. But the poor girl looks the worse of the two! She can have the spare room, and William can sleep on the sofa in mine. Mrs. C. I'll see to it. Exit . GER. goes towards THOMAS. Tho. Coom whoam-coom whoam, Mattie! Thi mother, hoo's cryin' her eighes eawt to whoam. Mat . I'll run for a doctor first, father. Tho. No, no, chylt! Aw're only a bit stonned, like. Aw'll be o' reet in a smo' bit. Aw dunnot want no doctor. Aw'm a coomin' reawnd. Ger. Neither of you shall stir to-night. Your rooms will be ready in a few minutes. Mat . Thank you, sir! I don't know what I should have done with him.-Susan, you wouldn't mind going home without me? You know Miss Lacordere- Ger. Miss Lacordere! What do you know of her? Mat . Oh, dear! Oh, dear! I oughtn't to have mentioned her. But my poor head!- Ger. What of Miss Lacordere? For God's sake, tell me. Enter MRS. C. with JAMES. Sus . Oh, nothing, sir! nothing at all! Only Miss Lacordere has been good to us-which it's more than can be said for everybody! ( Scowls at MRS. C. JAMES proceeds to lift THOMAS. She flies at him .) Put the old gentleman down, you sneakin' reptile! How many doors have you been a hearkenin' at since mornin'-eh, putty-lump? You touch the old man again, and I'll mark you! Here, Bill! I'll take his head-you take his feet. We'll carry him between us like a feather. Mat . O Susan! do hold your tongue. Sus . It's my only weapon, my dear. If I was a man-see if I'd talk then. James . It's a providence you ain't a man, young woman! Sus . Right you are! Them's my werry motives. I ain't a makin' of no complaint on that score, young Plush! I wouldn't be a man for-no, not for-not even for sich a pair o' calves as yourn! SUS. and BILL carry THO. out . MAT. follows . GER. is going after them . Mrs. C. Don't you go, Arthur. They can manage quite well. I will go if you like. Ger. They know something about Constance. Mrs. C. Pray give yourself no anxiety about her. Ger. What do you mean, aunt? Mrs. C. I will be responsible for her. Ger. Where is she then? ( Exit MRS. C.) William!-If he doesn't come in one minute more, I'll go after her myself. Those girls know where she is. I am as strong as a giant.-O God! All but married to that infamous fellow!-That he should ever have touched the tip of one of her fingers! What a sunrise of hope! Psyche may yet fold her wings to my prayer! William! William!-Where can the fellow be? Enter COL. G. in uniform and star, leading CONSTANCE. Ger. ( hurrying to meet them ). Constance! Constance! forgive me. Oh my God! You will when you know all. Col. G. She knows enough for that already, my boy, or she wouldn't be here. Take her-and me for her sake. Ger. What! who-? Constance!-What does it all mean?-It must be-can it be-my father?-William-It is William!-William my father!-O father! father! ( throwing his arms about him ) it was you all the time then! Col. G. My boy! my boy! There!-take Constance, and let me go. I did want to do something for you-but-There! I'm too much ashamed to look at you in my own person. Ger. ( kneeling ). Father! father! don't talk like that! O father! my father! Col. G. ( raising him ). My boy! my boy! I wanted to do something for you-tried hard-and was foiled.-I doubly deserved it. I doubted as well as neglected you. But God is good. He has shamed me, and saved you. Ger. By your hand, father. Col. G. No-by his own. It would all have come right without me. I was unworthy of the honour, my boy. But I was allowed to try; and for that I am grateful.-Arthur, I come to you empty-handed-a beggar for your love. Ger. How dare you say that, father?-Empty-handed-bringing me her and your-self-all I ever longed for!-my father and my Psyche! Father, thank you. The poor word must do its best. I thank you with my very soul.-How shall I bear my happiness!-Constance, it was my father all the time! Did you know it? Serving me like a slave!-humouring all my whims!-watching me night and day!-and then bringing me- Con. Your own little girl, Arthur. But why did you not tell me? Ger. Tell you what, darling? Con. That-that-that you-Oh! you know what, Arthur! Ger. How could I, my child, with that-!-Shall I tell you now? Con. No, no! I am too happy to listen-even to you, Arthur! But he should never have-I did find him out at last. If I had but known you did not like him! ( hiding her face .) Ger. ( embracing his father ) Father! father! I cannot hold my happiness! And it is all your doing! Col. G. No , I tell you, my boy! I was but a straw on the tide of things. I will serve you yet though. I will be your father yet. Bill ( aside ). Fathers ain't all bad coves! Here's two on 'em-good sort of old Jacobs-both on 'em. Shouldn't mind much if I had a father o' my own arter all! GERVAISE turns to CONSTANCE- then glances at the Psyche . COL. GERVAISE removes the sheet . GERVAISE leads CONSTANCE to the chair on the dais-turns from her to the Psyche, and begins to work on the clay, glancing from the one to the other-the next moment leaves the Psyche, and seats himself on the dais at CONSTANCE'S feet, looking up in her face. COL. GERVAISE stands regarding them fixedly. Slow distant music. BILL is stealing away . Curtain falls. THE END. Publication Date: May 23rd 2008 https://www.bookrix.com/-librarian

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-becky-graham-gased/

Becky Graham GASED One heartbreaking story Ellie slammed the hammer down on the rock, she was tired it was warm out and she was about to collapse but she had to keep on going soon she would be resting and then of coarse it would continue the next day, then the next and so on. An hour later Ellies cabbin mates were all made to move out of there `rooms` and made to walk in the dead of night to the other side of the camp. When they arrived a man with dark black hair, smoothed down, very greasy greeted them. "IN HERE" he shouted "GO ON QUICK". the room we were put in was small and mouldy. Everyone lay down to sleep, but were soon met with a horrible smell. Ellie sat up and reilised she only had a few minutes to live. She lay her head against the mouldy wall and closed her eyes. She thought back to a week before she came in here, she was wearing a lovely baby blue dress with little bows in her hair, her mother and father took her to the seaside, it was lovely. They collected shells swam had some good old fish and chips, and went to see the lights. She rememberd her mothers smile and her fathers laugh, at the end of the day when she was in bed her folks came in to read her a story and give her a kiss goodnight. A tear ran down her cheek, and a large lump formed in her throat. She started sobbing, coughing and shakeing uncontrolably. A few minutes later she felt aslo she couldnt breathe a horrible toxin gas filled her lungs, tears were still streamiming from her face. Poland,Mandjek,Camp, her adress she looked around her, she could no longer hear a baby crying but of coarse by now the baby would be dead she hugged herself tight she could not breathe and with one last final cry she sucked in a whole load of gas and her heart slowed to a heartbreaking stop. Ellie was dead. They took Ellies small body into the creamation room and closed the furness Ellies body was reduced to cinders. They took Ellies ashes and sprinkeled them in a big tower well. Ellie never got to say bye to her parents nor did they. Publication Date: September 4th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-beckyilovebooksx2

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-brian-doswell-slam-dunk/

Brian Doswell SLAM DUNK a hoop too far SLAM DUNK Tuesday March 1st LA Lakers beat the Minnesota Timberwolves 90 – 79. All is right in my world. There’s nothing as exciting as the sound of a ball going through the basket without touching the sides. Perfect shot, perfect silence, just the squeak of the Nikes on the wood floor and the roar of the crowd. Made appointment to see Dr. Ranjit Sing about my headaches, I can’t seem to concentrate on anything for long. Wednesday March 2nd Spent all afternoon cutting the grass, front and back yards both looking good. I could be the only one in the street who still cuts the grass. Met the new neighbors, nice couple with teenage son Leroy. I think I’m going to like Leroy he’s a Lakers fan. Thursday March 3rd Dr. Ranjit Sing says it’s my age. I paid good money for this advice and he tells me headaches are an age related thing. Well here’s an age related thing, he’s an idiot and he doesn’t speak my language. Old Dr. Williams spoke English, I could understand him. I know a headache when I get one and what I need is a box of those pills not a sermon on the mount. Friday March 4th Spent the morning in the park. Birdsong is wonderful at this time of year. I guess they will all be on their way to their nesting grounds in a few weeks. No sign of my headache today. Splitting headache again this evening. I’m going to have to speak to that girl in the pharmacy; she’s bound to have something better than ‘old age’ to offer. Saturday March 5th New neighbors settling in next door. Loads of DIY stuff going on. I remember when Lisa and I moved in here, 23 years ago. We spent a full year putting up shelves. Pharmacy closed for re-painting. I’ll wait till Monday; it costs too much to go across town to the Mall. Sunday March 6th I guess they’re putting in a new kitchen, all the old stuff is out front for collection. I’d have hired a dumpster truck but they’ve just dumpstered it on their lawn. Some of their old kitchen cupboards are in better condition than mine. If I was a bit younger I’d swap them when no one was looking. Waste of money I reckon, still folks is folks. Leroy showed me his Lakers scrap book. He’s got all sorts of stuff. I promised to look out my old programs for him. Nice kid. Monday March 7th More stuff for collection out front. They appear to be taking down walls judging by the noise. They have run a jack-hammer in there since breakfast time. Loads of old broken plaster and bricks spilling over their drive onto my grass. It’s a tough time when you are trying to get a new place straight; I expect they will get the truck along in a day or two. Pharmacy is still closed, but I picked up something at the mini-mart. I can’t read the small print on the back of the box but the picture on the box shows a head with big red circle around it. My head feels like that. Took two pills in a glass of water. Tuesday March 8th Leroy is out back again shifting stuff from the kitchen. I’d thought he should be in school; he can’t be more than sixteen. I showed him my old programs; I’ve got every game from 1957 to 1963. I was a big fan in those days. I can’t afford a ticket now but I watch them on the TV. “Who are these old guys, grandpa?” Good question son. I don’t suppose anyone cares anymore. Headache better today, took two more pills anyway. Wednesday March 9th No sign of the dumpster. Damned jack-hammer seems to be inside my head. I hope they finish soon. Two pills at lunch time, two more this evening. I’m beginning to recognize the pattern; they stop work at five-thirty and switch on the hi-fi. Leroy tells me he’s into rap. Must ask someone what rap is. Thursday March 10th Fine day today, sun shining, birds singing. At least I suppose the birds are singing, shame I can’t hear them any more over the rap music. Pharmacy still closed, so I bought extra pack of pills at the mini-mart. I asked the clerk at the mini-mart if he knew much about these pills but he only speaks Spanish so I guess I’ll stick with them until the pharmacy opens again. Friday March 11th Took two pills with my breakfast coffee. How long does it take to change a kitchen? Leroy has fixed a basketball net on the garage wall in their yard. It’s good to see the boy shoot a few hoops. He’s a good shot, I wonder if he plays for a school team? I wish I could join him but I guess he would think I’m too old to play with. Gee that even sounds old! Saturday March 12th I like to sleep late on Saturday. Always have. My bedroom window is right above my neighbor’s garage. Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Took four pills and pulled the pillow over my head. Sunday March 13th Leroy’s mother says she has no idea when the dumpster is due. She says it’s not my problem in spite of the old plaster spreading across my grass. It’s raining. Leroy has gone indoors so no more hoops and no more rap music. On the other hand the old plaster is setting hard on my grass and the wind has blown two half sheets across onto my drive. It’s a good job I don’t have a car to get out any more. Monday March 14th Made appointment to see Dr. Ranjit Sing about my headaches. He can’t see me until Thursday. I guess I’ll be even more age related then. I took a whole packet of mini-mart pills yesterday but the pain is still there. Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk I think I’ll give the Lakers game a miss. Basketball can be pretty repetitive. They scored 90 points against the Timberwolves, that’s a hell of a lot of hoops Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Tuesday March 15th The mini-mart has run out of my pills. The pharmacy is still being painted. Leroy is still shooting hoops. Wednesday March 16th Leroy says he can shoot hoops in his garden any time he wants, which is kind of right I suppose. I told him about my head ache and he said “So what did I expect him to do?” If Dr. Ranjit Sing can’t fix it I don’t suppose Leroy can either, I just wish he would decide to go jogging instead of shooting hoops. Thursday March 17th Dr. Ranjit Sing says I’m wasting my time taking indigestion tablets from the mini-mart. He says I’ve got a migraine, and a migraine is a migraine. There’s no cure for migraine. Don’t eat chocolate, don’t watch TV, and lie down in quiet darkened room till it goes away. Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk There is no quiet room in my house any more. Friday March 18th Leroy’s father says shooting hoops in the privacy of your garden is one of Leroy’s human rights, so is enjoying rap music. I asked him where the music came into it and he went inside. Saturday March 19th Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Sunday March 20th It’s very quiet today. I think the neighbors are away. I don’t have a headache today. Shame I could have spent some time in a quiet room. The grass needs cutting but I can’t get to it because of the plaster boards. Monday March 21st Leroy’s mother says the dumpster truck is none of my business. I asked her if she could remove the plaster boards from my grass, but I’m not sure I should include her reply in my diary. Tuesday March 22nd Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk My headache is back. Wednesday March 23rd Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk. Asked Leroy if he ever watched the Lakers on TV, but he ignored me. Asked Leroy if he would give it break, but he ignored me. Thursday March 24th I spent the morning clearing out the box room. Found my old service uniform. The jacket is fine but the trousers appear to have shrunk. My parade boots still fit me. I wore them all morning, now I have a blister on my heel. I spent the afternoon cleaning my old service pistol. There’s still a dozen rounds of ammo in my old canvas pouch, I wonder if it still works. We used to practice loading the clip in the dark so we could do it at night. I used to be pretty good at loading blindfold. Friday March 25th Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk I showed Leroy my old service medals; I thought he would be interested. Not so. Migraine returned with a vengeance. Saturday March 26th Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk I showed Leroy my old service pistol and asked him to take a break from shooting hoops till my migraine goes. I think he got the message. Sunday March 27th Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk Slam - bam – dunk – kerplunk My head is throbbing. I’m going to ask Leroy to stop shooting hoops. Monday March 28th The street is full of traffic, never seen it so busy. I hope one of these vehicles is a dumpster. I had a visitor this afternoon. I rarely have visitors. This was a cop who wanted to know if I had been out at all. I never go out except to see Dr. Ranjit Sing or call into the mini-mart for a few groceries. I tell him I’m learning to speak Hindi so I can explain about my migraine to Dr. Ranjit Sing and I’m learning Spanish so I can buy groceries at the mini-mart, and I’m leaning to speak rap so I can talk to my neighbors. When do I get time to go out? No wonder I have a migraine. Tuesday March 29th The cop came back this morning to ask if I had seen Leroy. I told the cop I thought he should be in school. Leroy that is – in school, not the cop, although the cop did not seem old enough to be more than a kindergarten cop. Wednesday March 30th Two cops came by this morning and took away my old service pistol. Thursday March 31st The Sherriff’s office says I should put my diary aside for a while. Maybe this will be the last entry. My headache is much better now I have this very quiet room to myself. Publication Date: March 5th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-briandoswell

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-chloe-l-crazy-enough/

Chloe L. Crazy Enough Chapter 1 Now,it was summer.Not my sister, Summer, but the season.It was always the same summer every year. But this year I turn 16. It’s not like I’m becoming an adult , like Summer will in the winter, But it means I’m one year closer to my death.Death.Death.Death. The word almost kills me inside. I think of Orson. Yes, he’s still alive but not for long. They want to kill him. I know they do. I bit my lip until it bleeds. The sight of blood makes me think of Orson. Orson, so perfect. So fearless. So stupid. So horribly stupid. Orson, my one and only true love. The poor, beautiful, mad crazy boy who I love so very much. He’s against our royals. Everyone is. Orson is just brave and stupid enough to let them know. Now, we are all in great danger. I love it. The danger. This summer might not be the same. The grass will always be brown and dead. My father isn’t going to come back. Mother isn’t going to have the baby she wants in our family or even a husband. But something will happen. Orson will make it happen. I’ll make it happen. He was out there. On his yard, across the street from ours.Wind blowing in his hair. His green eyes squinting from the sun. He was just sitting on the grass. Naked. I’m not imagining this. He was naked, other than his boxers. It was so hard not to laugh. What goes on inside his head? “Um, Is there a reason you’re not wearing clothes?”I ask not really expecting an answer. “I guess I just forgot” He said scratching his head. Who forgets to wear pants? No one around here is quite sane. “Flair, you can fight, right?” He asked me in that voice. The voice like warm milk with honey. The voice that makes you feel safe. But the question was so dangerous I was too afraid to answer. “That rhymed.” I said sounding like a fool. “Fight and right.” He smiled. “I’m not as insane as most people think.” He said with his milk and honey voice. “No, not nearly as insane as my sister.” My sister has always been insane. She has always been afraid. When I was about five years old, she told me about these bad people. Kidnappers, murderers, thieves, people who hurt your family,and something about killing a goldfish. She talked a lot about some goldfish. Then, I remembered her nightmares. Always the same one. For years, Summer would wake up screaming “He killed my Zay! He killed him! I saw!” It was our father. He killed a goldfish. Summer must have loved that goldfish. He must have killed Zay right in front of Summer. “I need to go back inside for a bit.” I said wanting to stay. He nodded and I ran across the street not looking to see if there were any cars coming. I took the rusty, old key out of my pocket and opened the door. I went to Summer’s room. It all made sense. The fish painting. Zay was written on everything. She was traumatized. How was I so stupid? I always knew it was weird but I had no idea what it meant. I used to think she was an alien. I was just a baby when my father left. The day I was born, Our beloved king died. Which meant his cruel son would step up to the throne. He must think it was my fault. Maybe it was. But that didn’t matter now. I heard the door open. “W-W-Who’s there?” I asked. Summer and my mother were buying a gift for my dear cousin who was in the hospital.They weren’t supposed to be back until 5:00. It was 2:15. No one answered. I pulled Summer’s curtain rod out of the wall. It was the closest weapon. Yes, I knew how to fight. In our neighborhood, everyone had to fight. There were gangs and thieves,robbers and killers. I’ve taken out guys twice the size of me. It’s not my fault. I need to defend myself. And protect Summer. “Flair!” Screamed his voice. Not quite like honey. What was he doing here? But I heard another voice. “Come out! I have a gun!” Yelled a much rougher voice. All i have is a curtain rod. I came into the kitchen, where the voice was coming from. He was with Orson. He was fat, and pretty ugly. But he had a gun.He took the rod from my hand and hit Orson’s beautiful head. Orson fell to the floor. The man walked over and smacked my head. I stayed quiet and shut my eyes. I still heard everything. Which was nothing. But I did hear some car driving away. And I felt Orson’s hand. It squeezed mine. I opened one eye. We were laying in the back of some van. He opened his eyes and smiled. Even when he was being kidnapped, he could smile. He put his face right next to mine. “Don’t worry. All part of the plan.” He whispered. What was he talking about? There were two other guys in the van. Both a lot taller and stronger than the first man. “I’ll tell you later.”Orson whispered softly. We drove for hours. The van pulled into a gas station. “Get out , now.” said the short man. “Both of yous better fill her up!” He said. He closed the door after they got out. “Step on it!” Yelled Orson and the car zoomed away. “You really think this’ll work?” Asked the man. “Absolutely. Flair can do anything.” Orson said with a smile. “I didn’t mean for it to hurt her. Just for it to look that way.” The strange man said. “She was a good actress even when she didn’t know what was going on.” Orson said. “Acting? So, she ain’t knocked out?” I wasn’t sure if I should say something. I was so afraid. “No” I said “I’m alright. Just a small bump.” The man laughed. “At least I didn’t use the gun.” He said. “Yeah, If it was real!” Orson said laughing. What are they talking about? The van stopped, suddenly.I looked through the window. Nothing. Nowhere. Just sand and the road we were on. No people. No one. Orson opened the van’s door. “Ladies first.” He said with a smile. I stepped out of the van and he followed. If we drove further North, we would be in the rich neighborhoods. Like Hannah and her sister, Lovette.I hated them. I hated Hannah for calling Orson “Hot but he’s also stupid.” In her annoying, little voice. And, I hated Lovette for everything she does. I hated her for everything she is. “Come on, now.” Orson said snapping me back into reality.”Oh right. Sorry.” I muttered climbing out of the van. It was dark and cold. It should be about 10:00. Summer would be worried. Nightmares. Crying. Summer’s had enough to deal with today because of Lovette. Just the sound of her name makes me want to scream. I hate her. Lovette. I hate Lovette. “Flair!” Orson yelled.”Stop your daydreaming.” I followed them. Orson and the man were talking. Laughing about something. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you before all this happened.” He whispered “I couldn’t tell you then. I can’t tell you now. Soon. I will soon.” I nodded but inside I hoped he will tell me loves me soon. Like that’ll ever happen. We reached a wall. A random brick wall. If you took ten steps to the left, you could walk right around it. They just stood in front of it. Waiting for something.So did I. In about five minutes, the wall changed color. The red wall was now green.That was all that happened. The ground started shaking. I started to fall to the ground but Orson’s strong hands held me up. A beautiful elevator seemed to have just come out of the ground. It was glass with what looked like diamonds on the back door and a glossy red carpet. I’ve only seen elevators on television and they were never this fancy. The doors automatically opened and I stepped inside. There were shiny buttons that lit up when you pressed them. Just being in an elevator made me feel rich. I looked up at Orson. His smile was like the diamonds. And somehow I felt safe being here. The man pressed a button and the elevator zoomed down. I held Orson’s hand. It was scary. I saw nothing but dirt and worms. It was a bit gross. Then, we entered a huge, fancy, expensive building. This is what lies underground in the middle of nowhere. There was a long table with seven rolling office chairs and behind it was a huge computer or T.V thing. People were sitting at desks typing so fast you couldn’t see their fingers. I randomly squeaked with excitement. Everyone wore suits. “Follow me.” The man said when the elevator stopped. Orson’s hand still held mine. We looked at each other and smiled. God, how I love him. We walked in a thin hallway with diamonds on the walls and that same red carpet. There were glass doors and inside the rooms looked like hospital rooms.There were white beds and sick people lying in them. This must be some kind of hospital. I didn’t want to ask questions. It would be best if I didn’t know. And besides, Orson said he’d tell me soon. “Here’s your rooms.” The short man said pointing to a wooden door. I’m glad they’re not glass doors like the other rooms. “There’s a phone so you can call your mommy.” The man said softly. “Just don’t tell her exactly where you are.You hear me?” Orson and I nodded. The man handed us clean, shiny keys. “I’ll be back in an hour.” The man said. “If you need anything tell someone you need Dave.” He said. “Is that your name?” I asked. “No princess, my name’s sugar.” Dave said sarcastically.”Just asking.” I whispered. I opened the door to my room. The walls had diamonds and the carpet was a glossy red. The closet was made of tinted glass. On the other side was the bathroom. It had red tiles and the walls were all black. There was a hair dryer in the wall, a red toilet, and shower with a black curtain. The mirror was shiny and clean, just like everything else. I walked into a small bedroom. I never really had a bedroom. Summer and my mother did but I just slept on the couch. The bed had white pillows, a red frame, and black sheets and blankets. I sat on the bed and sunk right into it.It was soft and cozy. It was perfect. I turned off the small, green lamp and went in the living area. I stood in amazement in front of the huge television. It must be 60 inches. At home, we had a tiny, old T.V which we rarely watched.The couch was black with red, fluffy pillows. In the corner, there was a black desk with a computer on it. I’ve never used a computer and I don’t plan on touching it. It wasn’t comfortable here at all. I just felt lost and confused. I wasn’t even sure why I was here.I wanted to see Orson but I wasn’t sure I’m allowed to be out of here until Dave comes. It didn’t matter. I grabbed my key off of the desk and ran out of there. Orson needs to tell me what’s going on. Right now, my life might be in his hands. His room was next to mine. I knocked three times before he could answer. “Coming!” I heard him yell. He opened the wooden door.”Hey, Flair.” He said smiling “We have twenty minutes. Explain.” I demanded. “Alright ,come on in.” He said standing out of the way so I could walk in. His room was exactly like mine. I forgot about calling mother. I didn’t even bring clothes. There’s no kitchen. Will they feed us? Thoughts stirred around in my head. “You can explain later.” I said rudely.”I’m sorry. I have to do some things.” He smiled.” Okay” He said and I walked into my room. I hadn’t seen the phone before. I looked in the living room first. It was a red phone hanging on the wall beside my desk. I expected it to be a lot more fancy and sciency but it wasn’t. I was worried mother couldn’t afford to pay the electric bill and it wouldn’t work but it did. “Hello?” I heard someone say. “Summer! Is that you? Mother?”I heard a loud beep beep beep. “Hello?” I asked. No one. Tried a million times but it didn’t work. It just kept beeping. I’ll try tomorrow. At least they know I’m alive. "Times up, kid!" Dave screamed. I opened the door. "What happened to princess?" I asked. "Hey, watch the attitude, princess." He was holding some clothes. "And put these on." He said tossing them to me. "Wha-" "No questions, princess." I stuck my tongue at him and went back in my room. He calls me princess so many times you'd think thats my name. I went in the bathroom even though I'm alone. They could be watching my every move. I'm underground. That's all I know about this place. My family has no idea where I am. I guess I'm sleeping over for possibly forever. I didn't bring any clothes or anything here. Why did I agree to this? Well, I didn't but I will if they need me to. Anything for Orson. I looked at the clothing. Tight, black, stretchy pants with blue detail. The top was almost the same. It was just long sleeved. "Hello, Flair." A robotic voice said "What?!" I yelled nervously. "Hello, Flair." It repeated. "I will help you, tell you where you need to be, tell you your tasks,make you food and anything you need." It said. “Analyzing .” The voice was female. Robotic. But female. I just stood there. Analyzing?What was it doing?“You have an auburn hair color, hazel eyes, olive skin, and I think you look fantastic in your training clothes, Flair.” She said. I’m not sure how she knew all that but she’s right. Maybe not about the fantastic part. That was way too nice. “Are you a real person?” I asked her. “No, Flair. I am a program but I am almost capable of feelings and opinions. I do not have a name but you can call me whatever you’d like, Flair.” True said. “Perfect.” I said “I’ll call you True.” I’ve always loved the name. “I do love that that name, Flair. I love being True. Thank you.” True said. “You’re welcome.” I told her. “Flair, when you are ready you are needed at the training center.” True said. “Where is it?” I asked. A watch shot down from the ceiling and landed on the bathroom counter. “If you need me, click the orange button and I will take you there, Flair.” True said. I put the watch on and pressed the orange button. “Thank you, Flair.” It said. Chapter 2 “Walk down the hallway to room 28.” True told me. There it was. A glass door. Room 28, training center. I saw Orson he was learning how to throw knives. How, wonderful. I sighed and opened the big glass door. A tall, thin, pretty girl came running towards me. We were all in the same outfit. She grabbed my arm and pulled me outside. “I have to give you a tour first.” She said pulling me down the hallway. Her blonde high ponytail swished behind her head. I pulled her arm off of mine. How rude for her to just pull me out of the training room! “It’s not rude, it’s my job and I didn’t pull you out of there I’m supposed to give you a tour!” She snapped at me. How did she know what I was thinking? Can she read minds? She laughed. “No, but yours is just so easy to read.” She said. I tried to just stop thinking but it didn’t work. Why couldn’t she just stop? “These are the hospital rooms. In case you get injured. You probably will.” Those were the rooms I saw when Dave was showing me to my room. “This is Orson’s room. Your room. Fate’s room.” She stopped at the next room and stared at the door for half a minute. “Bryson’s room.” she softly. She held her hand on the door. “Excuse me, Miss Bliss.” Someone said behind us. “Bryson! Hi! Sorry I thought this was my room no wonder I couldn’t open it!” She giggled. He gave her a kiss on the cheek. “New girl? Hey, Flame.” He said. “It’s Flair.” I corrected him. “Oh yeah. That Orson kid talks about you alot.” He said looking at the girl, Bliss I guess. He’s been looking at her the whole time. “Been living here your whole life and don’t know where our room is?” Bryson or whatever said. She laughed. “We gotta get going. See ya!” She said leaving. That must be love. “It’s not.” She said. “Not when he doesn’t love you back.” Yes he does!” I yelled. She shook her head and showed me everyone elses rooms. “Isn’t so cute when he says Miss Bliss?” She talked about him the whole way. “He is so funny! Don’t you love how his brown eyes sparkle? The whole time she talked I thought of Orson. So I just nodded to everything she said. As she was talking she bumped into some guy. “Ouch! Watch where you’re going! You ignorant-” She looked up at the tall, strong boy. “Bruce!” She yelled. He grabbed her waist. “Don't touch me!” She pulled his hands off. She pushed his and slapped him right across the face leaving a nasty,red mark. “Don’t ever put your filthy hands on me ever again!” She stepped on him and walked away.Tiny, little Bliss just did that. “I’m not tiny!” She yelled. She can definitely read minds.My mind at least. “Does Orson really talk about me a lot?” I asked her. “Yeah I guess. He talks about Hannah a lot more.” Hannah. I hated her. “What about her?” I bet he calls her hot and stupid just like she calls him those names. Bliss laughed. “He says she a stuck up bitch.” She said. “That’s all.I don’t think Orson’s stupid.” She smiled at me. That smile made her so much more like Summer. We walked in to the training room. Bryson and Orson were talking. When they were next to each other, they could be brothers. Orson had a brother. And a sister. They’re probably about nine years old. Last time Orson saw his brother, sister, and his mother was three years ago. His parents divorced. His mother’s family was very rich so she was fine but his father was not doing well at all. His father had no job, no money, was drunk all the time. Orson stayed for his dad. Orson now had three part time jobs,was trying to make money for him and his father, was trying to keep his father healthy, never saw his mother, missed the twins like crazy, and is trying to save up money for college. His mother said college was a “Waste of time” and wouldn’t give him any money. If I had money, I would give it to him. Too bad I was trying to protect Orson, his father and Summer, trying to convince my mother we don’t have the money to adopt a baby, keep Summer sane, and make sure we have enough money to keep our house. Looks like Orson and I have the same sort of problems. Which just makes it hard for me to help him. Bryson has a sister. Clover. I saw her in the training center lifting something a lot bigger than her. She was short, cute, and pretty thin. She looked alot like her brother with her dark hair and brownish eyes. She was only about thirteen maybe. That Bruce guy walked up to her and kicked her legs, knocking her to the ground. She got up and ran to her brother. Crying, she hugged him and went out of the training room. Bruce picked up the thing Clover was just using and threw it across the room.It hit a short girl with dark black hair. "Fate!" Bliss cried running towards her. Bryson and Bliss carried the girl out of the training room. A tall boy with red hair walked up to Bruce and screamed at him. Bruce simply punched the boy in the face leaving him on the floor and walked to tread mill. I was standing right next to him. He smiled at me. An evil smile. "Let's lift weights, Flair." A pretty girl said pulling my arm. She had dark brown hair, skin, and eyes. She was terribly thin. "Just stay away from Bruce. He's no good." She told me. "Thanks " she gave me five pound little weights. These people must think I'm weak. I found out the girls name is Ila. "It's a beautiful name." I told Ila. It really was. Ila explained to me we had training for four hours, learning for 1 hour, dinner for 15 minutes, and this was a place where kids go and fight the royal people and the people that support them. This is where Orson is when he isn’t at school. It isn’t just fighting it is math and science used to create the most advanced weapons and such of all time. How did I get here? Then I remembered. The one I love, Orson, planned for them to kidnap me and force me to be here. It’s not his fault. He believed in me. He believed I could do it. He believed that I could do anything. Bruce was throwing knives. Not just any knives, but flaming ones. One came at a red headed little girl another right at us. “Duck!” Ila screamed and we both got down on the floor. The knife landed two feet from Ila’s head and burned a hole in the wall. He walked over with knives and tried to stab Ila in the chest. She ran away so fast I couldn’t even see her. He shrugged and came with a knife towards me. Ila comes over in a second and knocks Bruce to the ground. Stabbing him with flaming knives. It tore and burned his clothes until he was half naked. He just lied there laughing like a maniac. He was stabbing a needle into his arm. “Too bad I had this.” He said talking about the drugged needle or something. “That wasn’t bad at all for a level two. If I wasn’t level one I would’ve died.” He bragged. What levels were he talking about? “I know you’re curious, come on I’ll show you.” Could everyone here read minds? We walked over to a television screen. It was numbered one through fifteen. Everyones name was written in black except for Orson’s and mine. 1. Bliss - Bruce 2. Ila - Ace 3. Ever- Bryson 4. Fate - Clovis 5. McKenna - Gunther 6. Cassia - Melvin 7. Olympia - Axe 8. Clover - Orson 9. Dream - Emery 10.Tallulah - Irwin 11. Chambrey - Hale 12. Sage- Chad 13. Flair - Price 14. Aria - Ravi 15. Ella - Leal “Who’s Price? Why is that my level? Why is his name next to mine? Why is my name red?” I asked Ila who was a level two. Did that mean I’m better than her? There’s no way I’m better than her. “Price is the male on your level. Levels are based on your fighting skills, math skills, and science skills. As I told you before, Price is on your level. Your name is in red because you have not officially joined our team.” Ila patiently answered. “Is level 13 good?” I asked. “Truthfully, It’s not very good at all. Everyone below you is seven years old. So are Sage and Chad, who are before you.” At least she was honest. “I’ve only been here a short while. How old is Price?” I asked. “Fourteen. He was level five until his horrible injury.” Great, so injured people and seven year olds are better than me. “Don’t freak out but the people on the same levels have to get married.” I could not believe it. I have to marry someone I don’t even know yet! “You won’t have to unless you officially joined.Price is really nice anyway.” That means Orson would have to marry a tiny, pretty, little thirteen year old girl. It’s sick how these little kids know exactly who they are going to have to marry. “Why do they do this?” I asked curiously. “So they can have new little baby fighters. The levels are supposed to make sure the babies are strong and skilled. It’s just awkward having to marry Ace. He’s really nice and my best friend but...” “You’re in love with him?” I interrupted. “No, He doesn’t really like girls...”She whispered. “He’s Um...Well, nevermind.”I could tell she was worried about him worried about marriage. “Oh” I said. “Don’t say anything about it. I’m not even sure he told his sister, Bliss.He loves her more than anything but he’s still not ready to say anything.” Says Ila. I nodded. Our watches made this beeping sound. Mine said I had science and Ila's said she had math. “Just be careful, Okay? Right now, Clover and you are Bruces targets. She’s younger and less strong than him and you’re new that’s all. If you see Clover alone, tell Me,Ace,Fate,Bliss,or Bryson. Don’t trust Dream or Ever either. Don’t try and protect Clover or anything because that’s what he wants. Don’t let Bruce bully Price. That’s all.” Ila quickly told me before running to her class. Why did she trust me? She told me Ace’s secret. That his own sister didn’t know. I was the last person to leave the training room. In the hallway, I saw Bryson and Clover. They were talking to the girl that got hit in the head with the thing Bruce threw at her.Fate I think her name was. She was holding an ice pack on her head. “Oh hey, Flair!” Bryson said to me. “Hey.” I said back. “This is my sister, Clover.” He said holding her tiny hand. She was beautiful. She looked a lot like her brother. “Hi.” Clover whispered. “She’s a little shy.” Fate said. “I’m Fate by the way. I love your hair!” She said smiling. My hair was just in a fishtail braid to the side. “Thanks.” I said. Her hair was beautiful. Prettier than mine. It was black, shiny but not greasy,it had tons of volume ,and had long flowy waves. My mother works in a small hair salon. She’s taught me everything. “You’re welcome. I used to braid Clover’s hair but now she usually wears a messy bun. But look, I did her hair in braids today.” Clovers hair was in two pretty french braids. “Cool.” I said. “Are you shy, too? I know Clover is. You don’t seem to talk much. That’s okay. I like listeners because I usually do all the talking. Am I annoying you? I’m sorry. I was so happy when I heard we had a new person coming.” She went on and on and on until we reached science. We walked into the class and I took a seat next to Fate. She seemed nice enough. I think I’ll trust her. Ila told me to anyways. The teacher walked in. Dave. How weird was that? There was no whiteboard or chalkboard. There was huge screen. Words started to magically appear. His name was Mr. Mars. We learned about physics. Orson loved physics. I saw him a couple of desks back carefully taking notes about the gravitational pull. It was adorable in the wierdest way. Bruce got up and brought his seat right in the middle of Fates’ and mine. He put his arms around the both of us. I could tell Fate was afraid of him. “Hello, ladies.” He said evilly. “Bruce, get away.” Fate said firmly. He laughed. “Why don’t you make me, four?” He called everyone by their levels just to brag about how he was at the top. “Your sister tried to make me.” He said with a smile. Not a good smile. Something inside sweet, light hearted Fate snapped. “Screw you! Chambrey was better than you! You’re a stupid, ugly, jealous A-hole!” I remember seeing Chambrey was a few levels before me. “She was fourteen and better than a nineteen year old so you punched her!” Fate screamed. “Go to hell!” She yelled and stormed off. “Don’t mind her.” He told me. I bit his arm. I wanted him to scream in pain, gush out blood and die. He barely felt a thing. He just laughed. “You’ve been here a day and you’re already insane.” He said. “Oh, I’ve always been completely insane.” I said getting up and sitting next to Orson. Beeping noises filled the room and everyone looked down at their wrists. Everyone’s said dinner but Orson’s. “I have to go to room seventeen. That’s weird. Most people have dinner now.” He said a little frightened. “I’m sure it’s nothing. See you later.” I said giving him a hug and leaving. He was scared. I could tell. Since I had no idea where Fate was, I walked with Bryson and Clover. “The cafeteria is room eighteen.” Bryson told me. Good, I might see Orson. Actually, I did see Orson. A tall, older woman in a blue dress suit, walked Orson away down the hallway. Where was she taking him? What were they doing? I started to run down the hallway. I was following Orson. They walked in room thirty. I tried to open the door but it was locked. “Orson!” I screamed banging on the door. Bryson was following me the whole time I had no idea. “Relax, Flair. They’re testing his skills.” Bryson said calmly. “Oh.” It was embarrassing. Making such a fuss over nothing. We walked back to the cafeteria in silence. I wasted most of his fifteen minutes. They only ate two meals a day. I walked into the crowded room. It was nothing like my school’s lunchroom. The ceiling showed the local news on it. The floors were transparent so you could see the classrooms. I don’t remember seeing the lunchroom from there.On the tables, were little computer things so you could just type what foods you’d like to eat and they’d give it to you. It was amazing. I sat down next to Ila. Fate’s eyes were red and puffy and her nose was running. It must have been Bruce. Bruce was sitting a few tables in front of us with Ever and Dream. He was wearing that same evil smile. I took two bites of my turkey sandwich and heard that annoying beeping. It was free time. Most people just slept. I was going to find Orson. “Goodnight. I’m going to my room.” Ace said. He was tall and strong and looked just like his sister. His light hair, green eyes. Ila and Fate left. Clover let out a long yawn. “I think it’s time for someone to go to bed, sleepyhead.” Bryson said to her. He lifted Clover up on his shoulders and brought her to the rooms. “I know you want to see Orson.” Bliss said walking out of the cafeteria. “He’s in the training room with Mrs. Blue. It’s just testing.This might get him to a higher level.” She told me. “Can we watch him get tested?” I asked. “No, but let’s run away.” She said. “I know you’ve only been here a day but I’m done with this place.” I must have had a funny look on my face. “Don’t be like that! We can get everyone except for Bruce of course and-” She froze. “And what?” Asked a voice behind me. I turned around to see Bruce hovering over us. “Little princess wanna run away?” He asked Bliss. He lifted her up and threw her over his shoulder. She started screaming, swearing, biting ,kicking, scratching and I just stood there looking like an idiot. “Dammit! You must have gotten stronger or something!” She yelled as he ran away after her. “Bliss?” I heard Bryson’s voice. I ran down the hallway where his voice was coming from. “Bruce took her and ran away!” We both started panicking. We ran where I saw him take her. There in the middle of the hallway was Bruce lying. His nose bloody and looked pretty broken and he had cuts all over his face. She stabbed him with her earrings.There were her earrings covered in his blood on the floor next to him. “He must be taking drugs or something because he really has gotten stronger.” Stronger but not nearly as strong as Bliss. She could’ve killed him if she wanted to. She probably did want to but she didn’t. “Are you okay?” He said looking at the bruises on her face. “It’s fine.” She stepped on Bruce’s stomach and he screamed. She picked him up and dragged him to his room. Bryson helped her. “I lifted things that were five hundred pounds in training but you’re just so fat!” She told him. He wasn’t fat at all. He was heavy but not fat. But, she was only sixteen and she could carry a huge man. I turned sixteen two days ago. I don’t care if no one remembered. I couldn’t even remember myself. I opened the door to my room. It was too late to call home. I wouldn’t want to wake them. “I’ll do it tomorrow.” I told myself. “Stop talking to yourself.” I kept talking to myself until I fell asleep. I didn’t fall asleep very long. “I want to die!” I heard someone screaming. Bryson.It was definitely his voice. I got out of bed. There were slippers and pajamas at the end of the bed. I was still in training clothes. I went in the bathroom and put them on. I started burning up in the soft, long pants and long sleeved shirt. I pulled on the slippers and went to Brysons room. It was unlocked. The door made a loud squeak when I opened it. Bliss was sitting on his bed with his head in her lap. She was wearing a tank top and underwear and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. She was singing softly to him. Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me, Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee; Sounds of the rude world, heard in the day, Lull’d by the moonlight have all pass’d away Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song, List while I woo thee with soft melody; Gone are the cares of life’s busy throng, Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me Bryson already knew I was there. Bliss looked up “Oh, um, He had a nightmare. It’s really hot in our rooms. I was trying to calm him down. It’s not like that It’s just-” She was nervous. Very nervous. “It’s fine. I understand.” I told her. “Oh good, I should go.” She tucked him into bed. “No.” He said. “Keep singing.” She sang the song again. Her voice was so beautiful. It made you feel safe. It made Bryson forget that he wanted to die. This was the calmest I’ve ever seen Bliss. I slowly opened the door and went to my room. In no time at all, I fell asleep. The door opened and Orson came in. He sang Bliss’s song.He sang it in that milk and honey voice. Then, he sang something else. It was time for our king to let the prison bells ring we all close our eyes and we hope to die all our children start to cry and as we all stand there he grabs us by the hair then,he chops our heads and now we’re all dead I woke up screaming. It was all a dream. I knew that song. If you sang it the king will kill you. My heart was pounding. I remember that song. I was only seven. It was only five years after my father left. I knew the girl who wrote it. She grew up poor in Area five. You see, before I was born, we lived in a country. Now, it’s called the name of our king or queen. Our king has about twenty wives. We no longer have cities either. We have numbers. So, I live in Area five, King Frederick. The girl who wrote it lived pretty close. She is like Orson. She stood up to the king. Fortunately, Orson hasn’t done anything too horrible. But the girl, Sadie was incredibly brave. She babysat me and Summer once. She went to prison. The first night was the only night she slept. They tortured her. She wrote one letter to her family. It had the song in it. They would bring all of the prisoners in a small room. Then, they would kill ten everyday. The soldiers would walk around the room, pull someone’s head up off the ground they were lying on, and chop off their head.The sixth day, she was one of the ten people. The parents were amazed.Very sad but amazed at what happens there. The letter got put in the newspaper and her parents were killed for it. Her brother still lives a few houses away from ours. He was one of the children that cried.He was only thirteen back then.He was worried about his sister.She died so young. Twenty years old. I was only seven then. But nine year old Summer, knew what was happening and so did Sadie’s brother. You couldn’t sleep any later than 11:00. It was only 8:00. Someone was knocking on my door. I yawned and opened the door. Mr. Quail. In the rich neighborhoods, everyone’s phone,computer,television,microwave,fridge,ovens and everything was made by him. Bliss Quail. Ace Quail. How was I just realizing this now? He had the same green eyes but his hair was much darker than his children’s. “Just checking up on you. Everything okay?” He asked me. I nodded because I was too nervous to speak. “Great! You’ve met my children, Ace and Bliss right?” I nodded again. “Perfect. Have fun.Training starts in a few hours.” Then, he left. I closed the door and found my training clothes clean and folded. I don’t know who’s in my room when I’m not looking but I don’t care right now. I went in the bathroom and put the clothes on again. “Your behavior is disgusting!” I heard Mr.Quail say. “It’s not like that! Let me talk for a minute!” It was Bliss’s voice. I put my ear against the wall. “You don’t have to explain! You were in the same bed! Half naked!”He yelled. Bliss must have fell asleep in Bryson’s bed. “You’ve been causing trouble since you were a toddler! I’m not surprised you’ve been sleeping with every boy here!” I heard a loud slapping noise. “Don’t hit me! I’m your father!” He screamed. “No! You’re not my father!” She yelled back. “Good, I’m not proud of you at all right now!” Why were they fighting in the hallway? “I’m serious! I might not be your biological daughter! Mom’s been cheating! You don’t pay any attention to any of us! Not mom, me or Ace! You only had children so we can kill all of the bad guys and make you look like a rich hero!” That must have really hurt him. It hurt me. We have to kill them? I knew we would have to fight but kill? “Go to your room! Or Bryson’s! Have fun with Bryson! You’ll learn someday!” He yelled at her. “I’ll have to marry and have children with Bryson the second I turn eighteen! What’s the difference? My children will be little fighters. You should be so proud! You’ve been fighting the king for years and he’s still king!He’s still killing everyone! You’re a failure!” I heard another slap but it wasn’t Bliss. “I don’t even care! Turning me into a killer is already child abuse!”She said. I heard a door slam. Mr. Quail was crying. I think it was because of his wife cheating. It didn’t sound like he cared about Bliss. When my parents were children, Bliss would be an adult when she was eighteen. She wouldn’t have to get married. Now, she’ll have to wait until she’s twenty. She’ll probably be married with children by then. “I’m going to kill myself!” I heard her scream. I went in the hallway and saw Bryson being beaten up. “Why were you going in her room?” One of the guards said. There was about ten guards outside. They were making sure she would stay in her room alone. They didn’t care if she commits suicide. “Bryson!” I screamed. “Hey! Go back in your room!” One of the guards said. “Bryson! No you can’t hurt him!” Bliss screamed through the door. She kicked it down and the door fell on one of the guards. They tried to stop her but she had a knife. It was just a simple, plastic, butter knife that took down ten people.It was almost 12 o’clock but True never told me it was time for training. Bryson had bruises and cuts all over him. She put his head in her lap and stroked his hair.His lip was bleeding pretty badly. “Sing.” He said tasting his blood. She sang Beautiful Dreamer. Just like she did last night. When she sings, I feel safe.Even right now. I’m not scared anymore. Neither was Bryson.She used her pretty,long,lace skirt to wipe the blood. The woman that tested Orson came. “Ila said it’s safe to go. Flair doesn’t need to do her task. Midnight, you three run. Get to the elevator. Exactly midnight.” She handed Bliss a backpack. “That’s all you need. Don’t ask questions. It’s not safe here. Don’t worry about the others we’ll get them out. Bliss, stop singing for now. Bryson, stay away from her. Flair, make sure they follow the rules.” She must have seen the worry on my face. “You can trust me. I’m Ila’s mother. You trust her right?” I nodded. I’m not sure I do trust her but I will. “This was partly Orson’s plan.” The woman said. That made me a lot less scared. The woman looked a lot like Ila. She walked away and her heels made a loud clicking noise. Bryson and Bliss looked at each other. They got up and went to their rooms. What was happening? I knocked on Orson’s door. It took a while, but he opened it. I threw my arms around him and cried. He shut the door. “Flair, what happened?” I looked into his sweet,caring eyes. “Mrs.Blue told you the plan?” He asked. “Yes! Why? She said you helped.” I was shaking and suddenly the world was blurry. “Calm down, you’re going to faint. I can’t tell you. I’ll call you tomorrow morning. The bag has three phones in it. It has a credit card and money but we’re worried Mr.Quail will be able to track with the credit card. Only use it for emergencies. Go to that little motel. It’s pretty close. Ryton will be there. He’ll help you.” Ryton was popular, rich,and handsome but surprisingly, he’s not a jerk. “The bag holds everything you need. Mr.Quail is going to try and kill Bryson and get Bliss back. Honestly, he doesn’t care much about you. Just try and protect them.” He added. I wanted to know why it’s not safe here. If it’s not, Orson shouldn’t be here. I couldn’t ask questions. The more I think, the more scared I get. I really can’t be scared right now. Not when I don’t know what’s going on. I Opened his door and went out. The guards were fixing the door Bliss knocked down.”Try not to break everything.” One of them said and they left. I waved at Bliss. She has been crying. I thought she was stronger than that but I was crying too. Bruce came down the hallway. “This is your fault.” He said to Bliss.He laughed. “I always thought you were so pure. You and Bryson sure had fun.” He said laughing. “Shut up, you idiot. You shouldn’t judge people before you know what happened.” She sounded like she wanted to cry. “You’re such a hypocrite. You thought Ever was bad because she wears a lot of makeup.” He put his arm on her waist. “You’re so weak when you’re sad.Daddy's girl is finally growing up.” She tried to get him off her. She sighed. “I am weak. I’m stupid too.” He laughed. “That’s right. I always knew you were just some dumb blonde.” I hated him. I should probably help her but I can’t. I’m weak and stupid. “I hate you.” She told him. “I love you too, cupcake.” He was drunk. Or high or something. “You’re not allowed to drink.You smell like vomit.” He leaned over and kissed her. “Ew! Get away!” She kicked him in between the legs and he fell down to the floor groaning. She ran into her room and shut the door.I really should have helped. I feel like a bad friend. I guess we’re friends now. The clock in my room told me it was 11:37. Oh, God. I tried to take deep breaths. My eyes grew heavy. I can’t sleep now. My hands were shaking. A tear rolled down my face. The more I thought, the more I cry. I can’t call my mother now. “Calm down.” I said to myself. “You’re doing it again.” I was making too much noise. “God, shut up will you!” I just told myself to shut up. What’s wrong with me? I finally stopped. Oh my God. It was now 11:56. I was in my training clothes. I grabbed my key. Not sure if I would need it and went out in the hallway. This was it I’m finally leaving. Finally? I’ve been here for two days. Bryson and Bliss are finally leaving. I’m not sure why though. That was the part that scared me the most. Bryson was in the hallway. He quietly knocked on her door. No answer. He opened it. “It was unlocked.” He whispered. Bliss was lying on the floor. She kept saying that she wanted to die. Bryson looked at her then me. I could tell he was thinking the same thing. “It’s okay. She’s breathing. She must have passed out or something.” She lifted her up and started to leave her room. “Wait, she needs Pride.” He told me. “What are you talking about? She has plenty of pride.” I looked at her. Maybe she didn’t. He grabbed a little elephant stuffed animal off of her bed and put it it the bed. Pride. She needed Pride. I smiled. I know this was not the time to be smiling. We tiptoed to to the elevator. Same beautiful elevator. I pressed the button and the doors opened. We hurried in and I pressed the top button. It was the only button the didn’t have numbers on it. It seemed to take forever but the doors opened. I looked at the sand. That’s all there was. Except the road somewhere over there. Dream and Ever were there next to the wall. Smoking. They dropped the cigarettes and stomped on them. Bryson put Bliss down. She was okay now. Awake, not okay. We stared at each other for a while. “We won’t tell if you don’t tell.” Ever said. Bryson nodded. If he didn’t run away, he would have to marry her. Dream walked over to Bliss and Bliss started coughing. “Can’t handle the smoke? You can’t run away. You’ll be coming back to your daddy. You’re not a real girl. You’re a puppet. Your dad controls you. Grow up and get a life. You’re made to kill. We all are. You the most.” Bliss wanted to cry. I know she did. “If you were smart, you wouldn’t talk like that to someone with a knife in her bag. Bliss better not.She opened the bag and put the knife a few inches away from Dream’s neck. “Do it.” Dream said. Bliss sighed and put the knife away. “I knew you couldn’t handle it.” Dream said getting into the elevator. “When she’s not fighting, she can’t be out of there.” She said as we were walking towards the road.Bliss fell down and Bryson had to carry her a few times. We walked down the long road. Very few cars went by. I could barely see until we reached the rich neighborhoods. They had bright street lights. There were fancy hotels but we were told to go to the little motel called “Spend the Night.” Not the most creative name or anything. I don’t even know how many nights we’re spending there. Ryton was in the lobby. “Flair!” He came over and hugged me. Then, He kissed me. It was a short kiss on the lips. It was weird. We usually just hugged. A friendly hug. “This is them?” He asked looking at Bliss and Bryson. “Yep.” I told him “She’s so...thin and he’s so...muscular?” He whispered it like it was a question. “Yeah.” I looked at him. Same short black hair. Same light blue eyes. Same perfect face. He seemed to fit right in with Bliss and Bryson. Ryton was strong and flawless. Just like Bliss and Bryson. I had oily skin,freckles,and scars that I’ve had forever. Bliss was naturally beautiful. Not how people think Lovette and Hannah are beautiful. They’re fake. They have hair extensions, spray tans, and tons of makeup. I don’t think that makes them beautiful at all. Ryton used to be Hannah’s boyfriend. It makes me sick. He’s better than that. Ryton was carrying luggage. “I have stuff you might need. Summer knows you’re okay. I didn’t tell her everything. Orson told me where you all came from. It’s okay you can trust me, Right Flair?” He said to us. “Yeah. Ryton is great.” He just laughed. “I can never tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.” Did I offend him? “No,I wasn’t. Thanks for helping.” Bryson talked to the lady at the front desk and she gave him a key. They had no rooms with two beds available and there were three people staying in one room. This is going to be weird. I’ll have to deal with the nightmares and the suicidal thoughts. It must suck to be Bliss and Bryson.They’re pretty messed up. We walked off the elevator. It was just a regular elevator. No glass,diamonds,or red carpet. I shouldn’t think about that place. It’s not safe. But when I really think about it, I’m not safe anywhere. Not with Bliss and Bryson. Someone’s after us. I’m safe with Ryton, though. I must be. Even if Orson hadn’t told him and trusted him. Ryton stood up for my sister. As much as I loved her, I could have never done that. I can’t stand up to bullies. Now, Ryton is helping me. Why is he so nice to everyone? I tried to think of one nice thing I’ve done for him. I let him borrow a pen a few times in class and I let him borrow my notes. That was it. Ryton helped me study for that test. Ryton helped me up when I tripped on the sidewalk. Ryton bought the necklace Summer wanted for her birthday,and he told her it was from me. Rytons family let Summer and me stay at his house when mom didn’t come home.Ryton played with me in kindergarten when no one else would. Ryton bought my school lunches when I didn’t have the money. Why am I thinking about that? Why does Ryton have to be so kind? The room was small, cozy. It was more at home and it wasn’t underground. The bed was pretty big. But, there is no way three people are going to fit on it. I wouldn’t want to anyway. Ryton took one blanket off the bed and layed it on the floor. Then, he took a pillow. “I should get going.” He said and left. The three of us just stood there. Silent. It was so quiet I could hear them thinking. They were afraid. Terrified. “It’s okay.” I said more to me than to them. “We’re all safe now.” It was 2:58 a.m. I got it the blanket on the floor and Bliss and Bryson shared the bed. They were pretty uncomfortable about it. I couldn’t sleep. I just stayed there. Bryson said “Clover.” about five times in his sleep. Bliss was crying the whole time. I wasn’t sure if she was crying in her sleep and I didn’t want to wake her. I looked at the clock next to me. 4:03 a.m. “Are you awake?” I heard Bliss whisper. “Yeah.” I answered. She crawled out of bed and sat next to me. “Do you have have a family? Brothers? Sisters?” She asked me in a quiet voice. “I have a mother and a sister. No father.” I can’t cry. Not now. Why should I cry? Not for him. He left when I was two years old. He never cared about us. He hurt us. He doesn’t deserve my tears. I’m not going to cry. “Oh.” Bliss said.”I’m sorry to hear that.” I was sorry, too. “My sister’s name is Summer.I really miss her.” I wanted to tell her everything. I wasn’t just going to pour my heart out. Not now. Maybe not ever. Ever. What’s she doing now? Smoking with Dream? No, probably crying. Having a mental breakdown. Screaming. Ever was just like all of them. Like Bruce and his drinking. They didn’t know how to deal with their feelings and problems.He tries to drink them away. Now that I think about it, he’s always been drunk. When I first saw him, he bumped into Bliss because he could barely walk. Maybe he wasn’t all that bad. Maybe it was just the alcohol. Broken. They were all so broken. I saw the bag next to me. I opened it. It was too dark to see but I felt something soft. I pulled out Pride and handed him/her to Bliss. “Bryson knew you would’ve wanted it. You should get some sleep.” I told her. It was sweet how Bryson knew.She hugged me and went back to bed. I did too. I don’t think I had a dream that night.Maybe I did, but forgot. I rolled onto my side to look at the alarm clock. 7:48 a.m. I looked on the bed. No one. I slowly stood up so I could see them. They had to be there. But they weren’t. Chapter 3 No, not in the bathroom. Not hiding near the mini fridge. Not near the microwave. Nowhere. They were nowhere. But there was someone in the room. And it wasn’t them. He stood tall and strong in his navy blue uniform. The soldiers. The king's soldiers. My heart was racing. Just one of them? Why isn't he talking? Why wasn’t he killing me? Biss and Bryson have killed these soldiers all their lives. Where were they? The soldier had wrinkles on his face and his hair was starting to go gray. He didn’t seem to be breathing. He just stood there You can’t be dead and still standing. Can you? He wasn’t moving at all. Not a single muscle. I took a few steps backward. I picked up the bag while watching him. What was he doing? There had to weapons in here. There were but I found something much better. Something that could do anything. Anything at all. A cell phone. Not just any cell phone. A Quail phone. A smart phone. A phone that hasn’t come out in stores. A phone that not even Lovette and Hannah could afford. A phone made by Mr. Quail, the most powerful scientist on the planet. The phone that could freeze time and make you and your friends invisible. A phone that could sense danger and soldiers. THe phone told me it all. It knew he was coming and caused all this to happen. We’re safe because of a phone. I didn’t feel invisible. I could see myself. Maybe other people can’t see me. Bliss and Bryson were probably sleeping on that bed. There were two other phones in that bag. Just like this one. There were also weapons. Weapons like the ones in training. Guns, flaming knives,poison,arrows, and every other weapon you can think of. There was something else in the bag. Something terrifying. Sadie’s song. I didn’t know her very well. Not the way Ryton knew her. She was like a sister to him. Years ago, there was a brave, twelfth grade teacher. She taught math, but thought the kids should know more. More history. Every year since kindergarten, we learn about the holocaust. Not any leaders, kings, rulers, dictators. Just the holocaust. And what it is.We learn that even though the king is terrible and so is life, at least it’s not the holocaust. We can’t learn about any other rulers than the king. So, the teacher skipped her fractions that day and told them just one thing. One thing that changed all of their lives. “Students, I would like to inform you about something. I might be risking my life but you must know this. You don’t know what it was like before. In happier times. I’ll start by the presidents. I’ll explain that soon. You see, the first president of the United States of America was George Washington.” Not only was she telling banned history, but she said the “A word.” America. A soldier burst into the classroom and beat her. Right in front of the kids. Cleo, Rytons sister, was in that class. So was Cleo’s best friend, Sadie. I grabbed the knife out of the bag and stabbed the frozen soldier. He probably can’t feel anything. He quickly disappears after I stab him. What the hell just happened? Bliss and Bryson were there. Laying in the bed asleep. We’re not invisible anymore. The clock was still ticking. everything was fine.Bliss’s eyes fluttered open. It’s better not to tell her. “Flair!” She screamed. I could no longer see her. Or Bryson. I turned behind me. The king. The king was right behind me with a gun pointed to my head. A knife went flying over my head and into the king’s. He disappeared just like the soldier did. She did it. He’s dead. She’s waited all her life to do that. It was that easy. He just walked in here and bam! Dead.I looked back at the bed. She had the phone in her hands. “I deactivated them. Don’t worry. They’re not real but my dad might be able to figure out where we are.” Bliss said. What was she talking about? This didn’t make any sense. Nothing did. Bliss swore under her breath. “We have to get out. Now.” She grabbed the bag and a few of the bags Ryton left here. “Take these.” She said putting them into my bag. She shook Bryson awake. “Take what we might need and you two get out of here. No questions asked.” We both nodded. She took the leather bag out of my hands and pulled out a lighter. What was she doing? What was happening? “Go!” She yelled and Bryson ran out of the room. I followed. Running. My heart pounding. We ran out of the lobby and into the fresh, cold air. Too cold to be summer. People started running. Screaming. Panicking. “What’s happening?” I asked Bryson. Suddenly, I heard sirens. Bliss did something. What did she do? The whole building burst into flames. She started a fire. Why? “No!” Bryson screamed pushing past all the people. He ran into the fiery building. I waited. Not for him to come back. For him to die. Police, firemen, and soldiers came. They would save them. They won’t figure out that Bliss did it. They won’t die. Who was I kidding? We’re all going to die. Bryson came out carrying Bliss. They looked disgusting. But I haven’t showered in days. I looked down. I was still in my training clothes. I didn’t brush my hair this morning. I looked disgusting. Bliss looked pretty dead, but she was slightly breathing. Bryson sat down laying Bliss’s body on the ground next to me. He was coughing and burned. Bliss still looked beautiful. He hair stayed perfect and her face is barely dirty. But she looked dead. “Why did you do it?” I whispered even though she probably can’t hear me or answer. She coughed. “To save them.” Save them? Doesn’t she mean kill them? I couldn’t hear my own thoughts because of a huge noise. The building exploded. Not because of a fire. Because of a bomb. People yelled,ran,and sweared. “They got out. I had to save them.” Bliss whispered. I sat down next to her. People were still hurt. Pieces of the building landed on them, but no one died. “I still don’t get it.” I told her. She slowly sat up. “The fire alarm went off. It made everyone get out. The bomb was from him. My dad.” She said to me. There was a father and his three, small children. One was just a baby. The oldest looked about six years old. They were hugging each other tightly. Crying. Screaming. Hugging. They would have died. Bliss saved them. Bliss saved us. Bliss saved the many people in that building. Bliss is no monster. Bliss is no killer. Bliss is truly a hero. A very brave hero. She could have died. She would have died if it wasn’t for Bryson. He is no monster. He is no killer. He is another brave hero. But no one will know. People are afraid of the fire. And aren’t sure about the bomb. They should be thanking Bliss and Bryson. “Thank You.” I whispered to them. I don’t know why I whispered. It just wasn’t right speaking loudly. They both had puzzled looks on their faces. “For what?” Bryson asked. “Everything.” I told them. “Just everything.” Publication Date: May 29th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-cupcake789

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Keyla Gonzalez How Do You Heal A Broken Heart? Publication Date: October 11th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-joejonaslover4

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-dua-rhimi-teen-diary/

dua rhimi teen diary we all have secret's we will never tell i had some mistakes , but wish u enjoy reading this book chapter 1   Chapter I : I’m not happy with my age to be honest I’ve always want to be in 18teen to be free and do what I want, so I write this book just to make people at the same age feel better. Well I’m dua my full name is dua rhimi I’m 15 I’ll be 16 soon ! I grew up in a modest family I’m not that beautiful girl kind of funny still cute , with a short hair ! I guess he’s long now while ur reading this ! I was in 14teen years old when I was loved by all the people ! but I wasn’t that beautiful too and not that bad at studying but I was a good person anyway ! I crushed on someone well everyone did that before and he’s ignores me of course .. every teenager want attention from people ! I was wanted it too, I cut my hair and I wanted to be different from other students in school , my mom was really angry about me ..i was acting so weird, even my cloths , I mean I changed , here my life starts being fucked , so I get all the attention from students but that wasn’t good I mean that wasn’t what I want ! they are haters , I was hear rumors about me that I never did before , my life become hell So I dated a boy for a while, he was kind of playboy I mean he wasn’t love me truly like I did , he broke up with me after a few days , and I was had a problems with family about the rumors about me , and they called me with ‘’ Devil worshipper’’ , I felt really lonely and I was thinking of suicide and cutting my hands and it was the worst year ever .I had a lovely sister she was far from me , she was studying in other city and my parents broke my phone so I didn’t have no solution to text her and tell her my problems , I really felt lonely even my friends my family I had depression I really wanted my mom to help me , my sister , my best friends .. I find no one , so it was a shitty year so I fail on it , so here it come the summer holiday so i met new friends I mean *fake friends* but some of them are still texting me .. I cut my hair again I mean I shave it from two sides.. for more attention everyone was looking at me so weird and of course I wasn’t have Secrecy things because my sisters was really annoying me so much they even open my emails and read my messages I wasn’t really comfortable , I was smoking so much and my parents didn’t know that and every teenager did that ,I was bullying from everyone in school , even teachers and the stupid ass headmaster she really makes me hate school so much more than I did ,it was at the beginning of the semester after the bad summer holiday,   it was a bad days ever I didn’t had before , after everyone hates me, so I was go to school and back home listening my mom saying bad things to me , go to sleep .. this happens to me every day , so one day I back home , and my sister slap me and start cutting my hair because she opens the messages and read all the message between me and boys , i don’t know what happened to me , I don’t know what the hell is going on ! so I didn’t go to school , and my mom takes me to Psychologist and made my life worst , so he gave me a days to stays at home and goes to new school ,and he said that I’m psychopath and he gave me some drugs and my mom cuts my hair boyish cut ..         chapter 2   Chapter II : Here we come our first day in the new school , I had an amazing day at school and everyone was so nice to me.. and they were seems shocked because my hair , the headmaster was a good person and students there was friendly , some of them hug me and told me that I’m looking cute , I felt that my life will be beautiful , but .. That was at first.. The beginnings of people began to change, it really weird .but I met a really great friends and they still my friends now , some of teachers were good and some of them wasn’t that good to be honest , after some of days rumors begins from some haters because I’m different from them , and I starts wearing different clothes I mean I made my own style and here there are the rumors begin , ‘’ Devil worshipper” so I kept ignores them but the rumors are not over yet All the students are looking at me so weird , i don’t want this happens to me again , so was open my emails secretly from my family because the doctor said stay away from all the technology things , there was a boy who always look at me at the school , my friend told that he crushed on me , he looks good , but I don’t want to date anyone , I made many friends there , and I was back home with them , it was nice at first ..   I texted a boy , I heard that all the girls crushed on him , he was looking good , not that bad , we talked about 2 months I guess and we become close friends , and we met many times I had a little crush on him and I was so shy to tell him about my feelings to him , but he did it first he told me that he crushed on me In the morning I woke up hopefully and exited to see him , but luckily we didn’t study because there was a lockout for 3 days I guess , for all the schools , we stayed together and i suggest to play a game with him and some friends it’s not just game we called it “Ouija” we jumped in a abandoned house near the school secretly and we was scared to be honest , we played that stupid game , suddenly someone call the cops , maybe someone seen us jumping to the house , We ran away terrified and we climbed the wall it was kind of funny seeing them running, but it was a really great adventure . I was kinda jealous because my friend was closer to my crush she wasn’t even know him, So I kept texting him and talk to him, but something is changed I don’t what is it..   After days , he broke up with me , many things happened to me and I find myself lonely again , and I find myself losing my friends and became closer to fake friends who didn’t care about me , who always makes me cry and depressed , who makes me losing confidence to myself ,who don’t even respect me ..   It’s all good, it’s life, but I learn many things. But I was stupid I just come back friends with them , because I hate being hating from others , well, I texted a boy he’s handsome, and his sister and I were studying in the same school , I didn’t know that he was warning her from me , of course it’s all about the rumors , but he was nice I just kept texting him like an idiot , I crushed a little on him but he said I’m ugly , I cried so hard , but there’s nothing deserves my lovely tears ,   chapter 3 Chapter III:   the summer’s come and I had exams of course I failed on it , I didn’t cut my hair for long while and I just let of course it’s all about my mom told me that I should do it and change my style , I just realize I have to be myself why I should had attention’s people , i should love myself, I don’t care about what people said , I realize that my mom was right , my family was right , I’m thanking god that all this happened to me , it’s just a matter of time , give yourself time, be honest with people even with yourself , I stayed at home all the summer’s holiday and watching movies , And here it comes the school again , I wasn’t ready for facing people , and seeing the people destroy my personality , but I still strong ..The students was shocked they didn’t know me , most of them was telling me that I looks cute well i was just laughing and smiling with a fake smile , I didn’t even say thanks to them, all the teachers was smiling to me , why? Because I was different from other students? I didn’t even know why, Because it’s all about mentality and the wrong rumors, because it can destroy someone’s life Or she can make’s someone suicide and live a shitty life like someone I know , But it was at first , all the people start telling me why you’re changing ? , why don’t u cut you’re hair like before? I really felt that I’m ugly and everyone was right , it’s all about my family , the mentality , please stop it , I’m lost , who I’m? .. I really don’t know ,just waking up every morning , keep smiling to people , going home broken from every word I hear about me , I wanted everything to stop I lost confidence about myself , and I found myself bullied from other students ,no one had understand me , I found myself in a circle spin and never stops , how can I get out of it? It’s all about matter of time .. so I hang out with friends of course without my mom’s permission Because she will never let me go , (never mind) , so I met the guy who told me I’m ugly he was kinda cute , I was looking so ugly , and we talked and he takes me home , and I saw my ex bestfriend she didn’t even say “Hi’’ to me , but I already ignores her, but I noticed that he was so interested with my friend , I act normal , she was looking beautiful to be honest , she was had boyish cut like I was before .. i was jealous and I realize even they will had relationship they will broke up soon , nothing stays forever , and beautiful girls doesn’t mean they have a good personality , perfect bodies and perfect faces doesn’t mean they are perfect inside ,     chapter 4   Chapter VI:   I thought this chapter will be the last one , but it’s not .. I told my sister and some friends that I’m making a little book , of course my sister encourage me to keep writing , and also my friends , and I noticed this book will be so bored to people who don’t know , or even the people they did , they know themselves I mean the people who broke me , I wanted to mention their names , but I didn’t.. Not afraid of them , but I don’t want my book to be distorted by their names. And I know many friends will read this book and they will get mad of me , and I’m not sorry for them ,I will call them with ‘’FAKE FRIENDS” , i will only said ‘’I’m sorry for trusting you , and calling you with ‘’friend’’ , I’m sorry for bothering you when you’re sad to make you feel better ,’’ that’s all I said .. But you will only said sorry for being fake behind me , but I’m fine without you , without crying in the bed in the middle of nights because you hurts me , I want to say thank you for make me strong in every time you broke me , I had so many beautiful days in my life , I won’t said I didn’t met good people , but I met many great friends, and I have started making many more bad choices and I have to figure out a way to fix it and Being a teenager isn’t all happy and fun , most of the time ‘ you’re living an extreme nightmare , and Bad days and as you start to gain friends , you lose them as well , the mood swings come and go, to make matters worse , you receive more homework , all in all , teen life can be really stressful , with so many things going on , a teenager can barely breathe ! That is just the way life goes right now , the teenage life is hard to live , and many teenagers can’t endurance this life , guess what ? It’s my life.     final chapter     Chapter VI : (the final chapter)   Dear reader.. I write this book to make u feel good and confidence , keep dreaming and make your dream come true , don’t make people’s talk destroy your life , be closer to your family because They are the only people who saves you and the people who know what will happens to you , every teenager had many problems and maybe more than me , and thinking about suicide , every teenager had bullying and makes bad friends who let him drinking or smoking or even made him steal money from he’s parents , me as a teenager I found the problem is from family , and if u a parent and your reading this , please be closer to your kids before time runs out , nothing is better than having a great family it’s all about matter of time , don’t lose hope , even you’re not good at studying that doesn’t mean you’re loser , I made this book for you , nothing deserves your tears and the cuts in your hand , just be yourself , be honest , be confided , you’re not alone you’re just going to the wrong track , don’t change yourself for someone who doesn’t deserve you .. Infuse your life with action. Don't wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your believes, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen... yourself, right now, right down here on Earth. I’ve always wanted to be writer when I grow up, and here I’m.. So I wish you enjoy reading this story,             “Maybe it’s not about having a beautiful day, but about finding beautiful moments. Maybe a whole day is just too much to ask. I could choose to believe that in every day, in all things, no matter how dark and ugly, there are shards of beauty if I look for them.”  Publication Date: December 7th 2018 https://www.bookrix.com/-be2b03b1bd4a0c5

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-kat-m-w-never-meet-never-will/

Kat M.W Never Meet ! Never Will ? I am a sister and so close but so far series To the awesome people in bookrix. Chapter 1 VIOLET'S P.O.V      I was laying there in my bed staring at my plain white ceiling who would've thought maybe if i begged harder to my dad he wouldn't of made us move houses again but then again he would have to wake up earlier and have a longer drive to work but that would just make me feel guilty .But now it's too late i'm here lying in my bed lost in my thoughts still staring at my sealing. My sealing used to be a painting of a wolf but not just any wolf it was Boo my dog but now it's gone and if i even tell my dad i want boo back on my ceiling it still won't be the same . This room is oval shaped and a little bit bigger than my old room but for the most part this room has an elevator that leads to almost every room in this house which I see no point to. I never knew why we needed so much rooms every time i asked my dad he would take a long time to answer but still say the same thing "The more the better right , but you know your dad needs 3 offices and 2 meeting rooms " . I always nodded my head in response even though i still had 3 more questions to ask him one was why so many offices but i kinda already knew the answer to all my questions . My dad had 2 jobs and he needed space for all the paperwork and his co workers to visit or stay that's why we have 3 guest rooms . That makes me go back to the reason why me and my dad move and travel a lot because of his work. My head started hurting after thinking too much . So i was back with a blank mind staring at the ceiling , i looked at the beautiful chandelier hanging up there that ,THAT thing was reason why painting Boo's face would not look the same as my old room. But you might think why not just take it down , NO i would never ruin a beautiful piece of art that someone most likely took there time to make. "ROOF ROOF ROOF" I sighed as I heard Boo bark. It seemed like it was coming from outside I lazily  got up from my very comfy bed and flipped on some flats with my purple sweater and my black and white zebra print pj pants.Quit a great outfit huh? I dragged myself down the stairs then I started running down stairs thinking why is Boo outside I don't remember letting him out. And why the heck didn’t i take the freaking elevator instead of wasting my precious time of my life running down stairs. When i finally got to the last step I was ready to collapse . Wait why did i come down stairs anyways oh yea Boo is outside. I definitely didn’t WAIT the Dad must be home.   That's when a shot of energy flicked through me I didn't feel tired any more.Once again I started to run but with excitement outside the door. Then when the cold air hit my face I wished I would've picked out a more appropriate outfit for the weather.      "BOO.” I yelled out I immediately heard heavy breathing and crunching of leaves. I tried to figure out from what way it was coming from but I was too late Boo was already on top of me.I ended up on the ground he licked my face leaving slobber all over, now i'm going to smell like dog breath. I heard my dad chuckle as he stood before us. Boo moved over and tried to get my Dad's attention. I looked up and said “Hey, if you're going to laugh at least help me up.” He reached over to lend me a hand but right when I got up on my feet Boo decided to pushed me back down. I yelled out Boo and got up by myself. Walking inside I asked my dad,“Why you home so early.” My dad just stared at me weirdly and said. “Honey it's 6:00 pm ,don't tell me you were locked up in your room all day. “Well I actually did something i tried to look for the kitchen for popcorn but failed miserably, ugh  movies aren't the same without something to eat so I did do something I was also breathing and living.” I laughed at what I just told him My dad shook his head . ‘“Why don't you go to a friends house or at least look around at  the house , i'm pretty sure you don't even know where the indoor pool is” “WE HAVE A POOL WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME  YOU BETTER NOT BE LYING.” After that ran around the house  determined to find the pool with Boo behind me.                       Chapter 2 JAZZ's P.O.V   I got woken up by my phone, ugh who in the world would call me at, I looked up at my alarm clock 6:15 am and my eyes got wide. My stupid alarm didn’t go off I put my head back in my pillow and groaned I'm going to be late. I reached over to my desk to grab my phone. 5 missed calls of Carson it read. Instead of calling him back I texted him ‘What's up ?’ He immediately texted me back ‘ I’m outside your house, where are you?’ Right after I read it I immediately jumped off my bed and went to the bathroom I threw water on my face to wake myself up I brushed my teeth as I went through my closet trying to decide what to wear. Then I rinsed out my mouth and took out my regular black leggings and a grey knitted sweater. After I changed I hopped back in the bathroom and did my makeup skipping the winged eyeliner. Put a hair tie on my wrist to do my hair the car. When I was all done I texted Carson as I walked down the stairs telling him I'm coming also let's go eat i'm starving.   Carson texted by ‘Fatty’ I rolled my eyes at that then I grabbed my bookbag and I was out the door I saw Carson in his black convertible mustang, every time I see that thing I almost drool over it . When Carson saw me he said “Hi redhead” I shook my head at him “ He , let's go i'm starving here. “ I said while getting in the car “Okay then no insult ? “ He said while starting the car, the car roared to life. “Shut up and drive. “ I said while slapping him on the top of his head “Abusive. “ he yelled, I just sticked out my tongue and said “You know you love me” I sighed how childish we are. “And when have I ever told you that ? “ With that turned up the radio that had Blank space by taylor swift playing I stared sing along while staring at the houses that zoomed by. “ Have I ever told you, you sang well ? “ I stared at him and shook my head. “Well, there is a good reason I don't.“ Carson said while we arrived at IHOP “ Jerk “ I said while getting of the car skipping to IHOP with Carson right behind me When we got inside the smell of food went through my system and my stomach growled. Carson chuckled while checking his phone. “ Shit, it's 6:50 what do you want “ “Umm I want a Caramel bonbon pancake and a hot chocolate.“ I said while walking up to the cashier “Like I said fatty.” Carson said before ordering my food.   When we were done ordering my food and his coffee to go We hopped in the car and Carson went speeding through the streets like 10 over the speed limit with me eating my pancakes in the back. I can't believe we weren't pulled over by a cop. Then we finally got to school or the wonderful cupcake prison .When I went inside i said goodbye to Carson because he is a grade higher than mine i'm in 11th grade while he is in 12th. When I was just opening my locker to get my books for chemistry the bell rang. Dammit this is going to be the first time i'm late for class might as well just walk to detention.           Chapter 3                                                                  Violet's p.o.v     We have a chocolate fountain in the freaking kitchen forget the hot tub, I have found chocolate heaven. I started to hear barking …. SHIT hes going for the fountain. “Boo hold your crazy ass and sit.” I said and of course the very ‘intelligent’ dog he is jumped on me making me and him fall in the chocolate fountain. “Boo i told you to sit.” in response he whimpered and walked two feet backwards and sat while wagging his tail. He look so freaking cute at the moment how can I be mad at him. ‘Mate’ a random voice in my head said that made me jump “Who the hell-” I said out loud before my dad the very mature parent I have came in the kitchen laughing his butt off. “Are you okay I heard something fall and you know nevermind go take a shower and i'll clean Boo before the chocolate hardens.” He said with a straight face “Umm okay” confused on my dad's sudden mood swings. “And brown suits you even though you look kinda like a chocolate monster right now. “, After my dad said that I had no words but I ran up and hugged. Leaving both of the men covered with chocolate. I ran to the elevator pushed the button to my room. After getting my scrub on, it was 10:00pm I still was thinking of that faint voice in my head that said ‘Mate’ I dont get it what did it mean mate as in soul mate or like pirate mate. I felt like telling my dad but my gut was saying I shouldn't. I shook my head and I jumped on my bed, turned on my t.v and went on netflix. Through half of ‘Dumb and Dumber to’ I heard a loud scratch on my door ugh I lazily got up and open the door and I saw a big poofy dog. He walked in my room I closed my door turned off my t.v. and fell asleep. When I woke Boos head was resting on my head still sleeping I petted his head and grunted. “Come on Boo move would you please.” Boo then lifted up his ears and got up and licked my face and got off my bed. I jumped off my bed and smelled the strong stench of bacon. I went in my closet and closed the door. I changed in in my black jeans white long sleeved shirt, black boots and red scarf. I knew my dad hired a maid because he hated cooking I took the stairs this time Boo right behind me. I followed the aroma of bacon to the kitchen where I was randomly hugged by a lady.The heck who the fudge cakes does she think she is randomly hugging me I pushed her away.     [A/N] Short I know! Sorry! Heres a pic of what I image Violet and Jazz should look like   Heart  Share & Keep on reading      Chapter 4 Jazz's p.o.v     I opened the door to my class slowly but hesitate, I should just ditch school today then again my mom would kill me if I did. The door squeaked as I opened it all the way everyone stopped talking for a second and put their eyes on me. But then immediately went back to talking I looked around the classroom looking for Ms.Martin well then she's not here i'm saved. I sat down in my usual seat all the way in the back on the left corner none of my friends were in my class so what's the point of being the center of attention I’d rather be isolated and go in the back. Ms.Martin is usually on time it's pretty odd for her to- before I could finish that thought Ms.M bursts in the door. “Hello class i'm very sorry i'm late my car had a flat tire on the way here and Jason keep your filthy hands to yourself would you please” she said everyone snickered “But my hands-I mean yes mam”Jason responded.This is why I love her. “Ok so if everyone would calm their hormones and get quite we wouldn’t have any homework.” The class went silent as if the principal walked in or something except me I really had to sneeze. I let out the most ugliest sneeze ever, I sank into my seat thinking maybe they wouldn’t stare at me. “Excuse you.” Ms.M said ready to start the lesson. The rest of the class was a blur and the usual so before I knew it gym was next.   After gym was done I had a free period which is barely ever I usually have to catch up on homework I forgot to do, so I went to the library where I ended up bumping into Binca. The library is usually a place for reading of studying but Binca's Aunt is the Librarian so she doesn't give a crap if we mess around there. I dropped to ground with a big thud did someone just tackle me? “Who the bloody hell, get off of me!!!“ I said to whoever was on top of me . “Well well little innocent Jazz cursed“ I recognized that voice pretty well Jason Waters I couldn't see his face because my face was plastered to the ground by Jason’s ass “Umm you see umm Jason just get-”thank you Binca for cutting me off “GET YOUR FAT ASS OFF OF HER DIDN’T YOU HEAR HER THE FIRST TIME OR YOU WANT ME TO MAKE YOU MORE DEAF” Binca's voice boomed from the hallway There was an awkward silence for what felt like forever until Jason got off of me. I don't think you understand Binca is scary when she yells. I jumped up to my feet rubbing my face. “She told you!” this random guy who I think watched the whole thing said. Before Jason and Binca got in a fight for the 3rd time I dragged Binca to our next class. “Hey, I wasn't done with him“ Bina said when we got to calculus. “Well you don't want to get suspended would you” I said “You're right but he was turning you into a pancake” she reasoned “Yep I know but what's up with Jason hating me and all he either pushes me to the ground or spills his food on me now tackles me like what even” I said “Well, I don't know he just has to get a life.“ Binca said   After I new it school was over and I was in Carson's car I would of been with Binca but she had to do a family thing. “So, where you wanna go” Carson said breaking the silence in the car “Your mom won't be home till 6:00” “True, um lets see your house I wanna see Boston” Isaid “Okay then” he said Boston is Carson's little pug I so love his cute little eyes. When Carson turned off the engine I jumped out running towards his house punching in his house code and walked right in like I owned this place like a boss but so I thought I did I ended up tripping on something landing head first on the house floor. “Hello floor my old friend did you miss me?” I groaned “Why the hell did I give you my house combo again?” Carson said right behind me reaching over to help me up. “I don't really know wait because you wuv me.“ I said looking around for Boston “Where is he?” “WHeres who ?” “Your dog idiot” “Oh yea umm the umm dead?” “THE HECK YOU YOU ASSHOLE WHY THE FUDGE CAKES DO YOU INVITE ME TO YOUR HOUSE WHEN I EXPLICITLY STATED THAT I WANTED TO SEE YOUR DOG” I said angrily but kinda sad even though I saw Boston in his cage in the corner. “Hey, you okay” Carson said I just kept on pretend crying. “You know I was joking right “ Carson said while rubbing my back. “Si!” I said lepping from the couch and walking to his kitchen as if nothing happened and letting the little beast out. “You got some problems” “ Yea blah blah you should've seen your face“ I said carrying the doge up stairs to his room.   Text: Me Katherine W. Images: Me or google Editing: Hannah M. and Britney W. All rights reserved. Publication Date: June 11th 2017 https://www.bookrix.com/-rdd7bd57adbe445

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-sir-james-matthew-barrie-quality-street/

Sir James Matthew Barrie Quality Street A Comedy ACT I THE BLUE AND WHITE ROOM The scene is the blue and white room in the house of the Misses Susan and Phoebe Throssel in Quality Street; and in this little country town there is a satisfaction about living in Quality Street which even religion cannot give. Through the bowed window at the back we have a glimpse of the street. It is pleasantly broad and grass-grown, and is linked to the outer world by one demure shop, whose door rings a bell every time it opens and shuts. Thus by merely peeping, every one in Quality Street can know at once who has been buying a Whimsy cake, and usually why. This bell is the most familiar sound of Quality Street. Now and again ladies pass in their pattens, a maid perhaps protecting them with an umbrella, for flakes of snow are falling discreetly. Gentlemen in the street are an event; but, see, just as we raise the curtain, there goes the recruiting sergeant to remind us that we are in the period of the Napoleonic wars. If he were to look in at the window of the blue and white room all the ladies there assembled would draw themselves up; they know him for a rude fellow who smiles at the approach of maiden ladies and continues to smile after they have passed. However, he lowers his head to-day so that they shall not see him, his present design being converse with the Misses Throssel's maid. The room is one seldom profaned by the foot of man, and everything in it is white or blue. Miss Phoebe is not present, but here are Miss Susan, Miss Willoughby and her sister Miss Fanny, and Miss Henrietta Turnbull. Miss Susan and Miss Willoughby, alas, already wear caps; but all the four are dear ladies, so refined that we ought not to be discussing them without a more formal introduction. There seems no sufficient reason why we should choose Miss Phoebe as our heroine rather than any one of the others, except, perhaps, that we like her name best. But we gave her the name, so we must support our choice and say that she is slightly the nicest, unless, indeed, Miss Susan is nicer. Miss Fanny is reading aloud from a library book while the others sew or knit. They are making garments for our brave soldiers now far away fighting the Corsican Ogre. MISS FANNY. '... And so the day passed and evening came, black, mysterious, and ghost-like. The wind moaned unceasingly like a shivering spirit, and the vegetation rustled uneasily as if something weird and terrifying were about to happen. Suddenly out of the darkness there emerged a Man. (She says the last word tremulously but without looking up. The listeners knit more quickly.) The unhappy Camilla was standing lost in reverie when, without pausing to advertise her of his intentions, he took both her hands in his. (By this time the knitting has stopped, and all are listening as if mesmerised.) Slowly he gathered her in his arms---- (MISS SUSAN gives an excited little cry.) MISS FANNY. And rained hot, burning----' MISS WILLOUGHBY. Sister! MISS FANNY (greedily). 'On eyes, mouth----' MISS WILLOUGHBY (sternly). Stop. Miss Susan, I am indeed surprised you should bring such an amazing, indelicate tale from the library. MISS SUSAN (with a slight shudder). I deeply regret, Miss Willoughby---- (Sees MISS FANNY reading quickly to herself.) Oh, Fanny! If you please, my dear. (Takes the book gently from her.) MISS WILLOUGHBY. I thank you. (She knits severely.) MISS FANNY (a little rebel). Miss Susan is looking at the end. (MISS SUSAN closes the book guiltily.) MISS SUSAN (apologetically). Forgive my partiality for romance, Mary. I fear 'tis the mark of an old maid. MISS WILLOUGHBY. Susan, that word! MISS SUSAN (sweetly). 'Tis what I am. And you also, Mary, my dear. MISS FANNY (defending her sister). Miss Susan, I protest. MISS WILLOUGHBY (sternly truthful). Nay, sister, 'tis true. We are known everywhere now, Susan, you and I, as the old maids of Quality Street. (General discomfort.) MISS SUSAN. I am happy Phoebe will not be an old maid. MISS HENRIETTA (wistfully). Do you refer, Miss Susan, to V. B.? (MISS SUSAN smiles happily to herself.) MISS SUSAN. Miss Phoebe of the ringlets as he has called her. MISS FANNY. Other females besides Miss Phoebe have ringlets. MISS SUSAN. But you and Miss Henrietta have to employ papers, my dear. (Proudly) Phoebe, never. MISS WILLOUGHBY (in defence of FANNY). I do not approve of Miss Phoebe at all. MISS SUSAN (flushing). Mary, had Phoebe been dying you would have called her an angel, but that is ever the way. 'Tis all jealousy to the bride and good wishes to the corpse. (Her guests rise, hurt.) My love, I beg your pardon. MISS WILLOUGHBY. With your permission, Miss Susan, I shall put on my pattens. (MISS SUSAN gives permission almost haughtily, and the ladies retire to the bedroom, MISS FANNY remaining behind a moment to ask a question.) MISS FANNY. A bride? Miss Susan, do you mean that V. B. has declared? MISS SUSAN. Fanny, I expect it hourly. (MISS SUSAN, left alone, is agitated by the terrible scene with MISS WILLOUGHBY.) (Enter PHOEBE in her bonnet, and we see at once that she really is the nicest. She is so flushed with delightful news that she almost forgets to take off her pattens before crossing the blue and white room.) MISS SUSAN. You seem strangely excited, Phoebe. PHOEBE. Susan, I have met a certain individual. MISS SUSAN. V. B.? (PHOEBE nods several times, and her gleaming eyes tell MISS SUSAN as much as if they were a romance from the library.) My dear, you are trembling. PHOEBE (bravely). No--oh no. MISS SUSAN. You put your hand to your heart. PHOEBE. Did I? MISS SUSAN (in a whisper). My love, has he offered? PHOEBE (appalled). Oh, Susan. (Enter MISS WILLOUGHBY, partly cloaked.) MISS WILLOUGHBY. How do you do, Miss Phoebe. (Portentously) Susan, I have no wish to alarm you, but I am of opinion that there is a man in the house. I suddenly felt it while putting on my pattens. MISS SUSAN. You mean--a follower--in the kitchen? (She courageously rings the bell, but her voice falters.) I am just a little afraid of Patty. (Enter PATTY, a buxom young woman, who loves her mistresses and smiles at them, and knows how to terrorise them.) Patty, I hope we may not hurt your feelings, but-- PATTY (sternly). Are you implicating, ma'am, that I have a follower? MISS SUSAN. Oh no, Patty. PATTY. So be it. MISS SUSAN (ashamed). Patty, come back, (Humbly) I told a falsehood just now; I am ashamed of myself. PATTY (severely). As well you might be, ma'am. PHOEBE (so roused that she would look heroic if she did not spoil the effect by wagging her finger at PATTY). How dare you. There is a man in the kitchen. To the door with him. PATTY. A glorious soldier to be so treated! PHOEBE. The door. PATTY. And if he refuses? (They looked perplexed.) MISS SUSAN. Oh dear! PHOEBE. If he refuses send him here to me. (Exit PATTY.) MISS SUSAN. Lion-hearted Phoebe. MISS WILLOUGHBY. A soldier? (Nervously) I wish it may not be that impertinent recruiting sergeant. I passed him in the street to-day. He closed one of his eyes at me and then quickly opened it. I knew what he meant. PHOEBE. He does not come. MISS SUSAN. I think I hear their voices in dispute. (She is listening through the floor. They all stoop or go on their knees to listen, and when they are in this position the RECRUITING SERGEANT enters unobserved. He chuckles aloud. In a moment PHOEBE is alone with him.) SERGEANT (with an Irish accent). Your servant, ma'am. PHOEBE (advancing sternly on him). Sir-- (She is perplexed, as he seems undismayed.) Sergeant-- (She sees mud from his boots on the carpet.) Oh! oh! (Brushes carpet.) Sergeant, I am wishful to scold you, but would you be so obliging as to stand on this paper while I do it? SERGEANT. With all the pleasure in life, ma'am. PHOEBE (forgetting to be angry). Sergeant, have you killed people? SERGEANT. Dozens, ma'am, dozens. PHOEBE. How terrible. Oh, sir, I pray every night that the Lord in His loving-kindness will root the enemy up. Is it true that the Corsican Ogre eats babies? SERGEANT. I have spoken with them as have seen him do it, ma'am. PHOEBE. The Man of Sin. Have you ever seen a vivandiere, sir? (Wistfully) I have sometimes wished there were vivandieres in the British Army. (For a moment she sees herself as one.) Oh, Sergeant, a shudder goes through me when I see you in the streets enticing those poor young men. SERGEANT. If you were one of them, ma'am, and death or glory was the call, you would take the shilling, ma'am. PHOEBE. Oh, not for that. SERGEANT. For King and Country, ma'am? PHOEBE (grandly). Yes, yes, for that. SERGEANT (candidly). Not that it is all fighting. The sack of captured towns--the loot. PHOEBE (proudly). An English soldier never sacks nor loots. SERGEANT. No, ma'am. And then--the girls. PHOEBE. What girls? SERGEANT. In the towns that--that we don't sack. PHOEBE. How they must hate the haughty conqueror. SERGEANT. We are not so haughty as all that. PHOEBE (sadly). I think I understand. I am afraid, Sergeant, you do not tell those poor young men the noble things I thought you told them. SERGEANT. Ma'am, I must e'en tell them what they are wishful to hear. There ha' been five, ma'am, all this week, listening to me and then showing me their heels, but by a grand stroke of luck I have them at last. PHOEBE. Luck? (MISS SUSAN opens door slightly and listens.) SERGEANT. The luck, ma'am, is that a gentleman of the town has enlisted. That gave them the push forward. (MISS SUSAN is excited.) PHOEBE. A gentleman of this town enlisted? (Eagerly) Sergeant, who? SERGEANT. Nay, ma'am, I think it be a secret as yet. PHOEBE. But a gentleman! 'Tis the most amazing, exciting thing. Sergeant, be so obliging. SERGEANT. Nay, ma'am, I can't. MISS SUSAN (at door, carried away by excitement). But you must, you must! SERGEANT (turning to the door). You see, ma'am-- (The door is hurriedly closed.) PHOEBE (ashamed). Sergeant, I have not been saying the things I meant to say to you. Will you please excuse my turning you out of the house somewhat violently. SERGEANT. I am used to it, ma'am. PHOEBE. I won't really hurt you. SERGEANT. Thank you kindly, ma'am. PHOEBE (observing the bedroom door opening a little, and speaking in a loud voice). I protest, sir; we shall permit no followers in this house. Should I discover you in my kitchen again I shall pitch you out--neck and crop. Begone, sir. (The SERGEANT retires affably. All the ladies except MISS HENRIETTA come out, admiring PHOEBE. The WILLOUGHBYS are attired for their journey across the street.) MISS WILLOUGHBY. Miss Phoebe, we could not but admire you. (PHOEBE, alas, knows that she is not admirable.) PHOEBE. But the gentleman recruit? MISS SUSAN. Perhaps they will know who he is at the woollen-drapers. MISS FANNY. Let us inquire. (But before they go MISS WILLOUGHBY has a duty to perform.) MISS WILLOUGHBY. I wish to apologise. Miss Phoebe, you are a dear, good girl. If I have made remarks about her ringlets, Susan, it was jealousy. (PHOEBE and MISS SUSAN wish to embrace her, but she is not in the mood for it.) Come, sister. MISS FANNY (the dear woman that she is). Phoebe, dear, I wish you very happy. (PHOEBE presses her hand.) MISS HENRIETTA (entering, and not to be outdone). Miss Phoebe, I give you joy. (The three ladies go, the two younger ones a little tearfully, and we see them pass the window.) PHOEBE (pained). Susan, you have been talking to them about V. B. MISS SUSAN. I could not help it. (Eagerly) Now, Phoebe, what is it you have to tell me? PHOEBE (in a low voice). Dear, I think it is too holy to speak of. MISS SUSAN. To your sister? PHOEBE. Susan, as you know, I was sitting with an unhappy woman whose husband has fallen in the war. When I came out of the cottage he was passing. MISS SUSAN. Yes? PHOEBE. He offered me his escort. At first he was very silent--as he has often been of late. MISS SUSAN. We know why. PHOEBE. Please not to say that I know why. Suddenly he stopped and swung his cane. You know how gallantly he swings his cane. MISS SUSAN. Yes, indeed. PHOEBE. He said: 'I have something I am wishful to tell you, Miss Phoebe; perhaps you can guess what it is.' MISS SUSAN. Go on! PHOEBE. To say I could guess, sister, would have been unladylike. I said: 'Please not to tell me in the public thoroughfare'; to which he instantly replied: 'Then I shall call and tell you this afternoon.' MISS SUSAN. Phoebe! (They are interrupted by the entrance of PATTY with tea. They see that she has brought three cups, and know that this is her impertinent way of implying that mistresses, as well as maids, may have a 'follower.' When she has gone they smile at the daring of the woman, and sit down to tea.) PHOEBE. Susan, to think that it has all happened in a single year. MISS SUSAN. Such a genteel competency as he can offer; such a desirable establishment. PHOEBE. I had no thought of that, dear. I was recalling our first meeting at Mrs. Fotheringay's quadrille party. MISS SUSAN. We had quite forgotten that our respected local physician was growing elderly. PHOEBE. Until he said: 'Allow me to present my new partner, Mr. Valentine Brown.' MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, do you remember how at the tea-table he facetiously passed the cake-basket with nothing in it! PHOEBE. He was so amusing from the first. I am thankful, Susan, that I too have a sense of humour. I am exceedingly funny at times; am I not, Susan? MISS SUSAN. Yes, indeed. But he sees humour in the most unexpected things. I say something so ordinary about loving, for instance, to have everything either blue or white in this room, and I know not why he laughs, but it makes me feel quite witty. PHOEBE (a little anxiously). I hope he sees nothing odd or quaint about us. MISS SUSAN. My dear, I am sure he cannot. PHOEBE. Susan, the picnics. MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, the day when he first drank tea in this house. PHOEBE. He invited himself. MISS SUSAN. He merely laughed when I said it would cause such talk. PHOEBE. He is absolutely fearless. Susan, he has smoked his pipe in this room. (They are both a little scared.) MISS SUSAN. Smoking is indeed a dreadful habit. PHOEBE. But there is something so dashing about it. MISS SUSAN (with melancholy). And now I am to be left alone. PHOEBE. No. MISS SUSAN. My dear, I could not leave this room. My lovely blue and white room. It is my husband. PHOEBE (who has become agitated). Susan, you must make my house your home. I have something distressing to tell you. MISS SUSAN. You alarm me. PHOEBE. You know Mr. Brown advised us how to invest half of our money. MISS SUSAN. I know it gives us eight per cent., though why it should do so I cannot understand, but very obliging, I am sure. PHOEBE. Susan, all that money is lost; I had the letter several days ago. MISS SUSAN. Lost? PHOEBE. Something burst, dear, and then they absconded. MISS SUSAN. But Mr. Brown-- PHOEBE. I have not advertised him of it yet, for he will think it was his fault. But I shall tell him to-day. MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, how much have we left? PHOEBE. Only sixty pounds a year, so you see you must live with us, dearest. MISS SUSAN. But Mr. Brown--he---- PHOEBE (grandly). He is a man of means, and if he is not proud to have my Susan I shall say at once: 'Mr. Brown--the door.' (She presses her cheek to MISS SUSAN'S.) MISS SUSAN (softly). Phoebe, I have a wedding gift for you. PHOEBE. Not yet? MISS SUSAN. It has been ready for a long time. I began it when you were not ten years old and I was a young woman. I meant it for myself, Phoebe. I had hoped that he--his name was William--but I think I must have been too unattractive, my love. PHOEBE. Sweetest--dearest---- MISS SUSAN. I always associate it with a sprigged poplin I was wearing that summer, with a breadth of coloured silk in it, being a naval officer; but something happened, a Miss Cicely Pemberton, and they are quite big boys now. So long ago, Phoebe--he was very tall, with brown hair--it was most foolish of me, but I was always so fond of sewing--with long straight legs and such a pleasant expression. PHOEBE. Susan, what was it? MISS SUSAN. It was a wedding-gown, my dear. Even plain women, Phoebe, we can't help it; when we are young we have romantic ideas just as if we were pretty. And so the wedding-gown was never used. Long before it was finished I knew he would not offer, but I finished it, and then I put it away. I have always hidden it from you, Phoebe, but of late I have brought it out again, and altered it. (She goes to ottoman and unlocks it.) PHOEBE. Susan, I could not wear it. (MISS SUSAN brings the wedding-gown.) Oh! how sweet, how beautiful! MISS SUSAN. You will wear it, my love, won't you? And the tears it was sewn with long ago will all turn into smiles on my Phoebe's wedding-day. (They are tearfully happy when a knock is heard on the street door.) PHOEBE. That knock. MISS SUSAN. So dashing. PHOEBE. So imperious. (She is suddenly panic-stricken.) Susan, I think he kissed me once. MISS SUSAN (startled). You think? PHOEBE. I know he did. That evening--a week ago, when he was squiring me home from the concert. It was raining, and my face was wet; he said that was why he did it. MISS SUSAN. Because your face was wet? PHOEBE. It does not seem a sufficient excuse now. MISS SUSAN (appalled). O Phoebe, before he had offered. PHOEBE (in distress). I fear me it was most unladylike. (VALENTINE BROWN is shown in. He is a frank, genial young man of twenty-five who honestly admires the ladies, though he is amused by their quaintness. He is modestly aware that it is in the blue and white room alone that he is esteemed a wit.) BROWN. Miss Susan, how do you do, ma'am? Nay, Miss Phoebe, though we have met to-day already I insist on shaking hands with you again. MISS SUSAN. Always so dashing. (VALENTINE laughs and the ladies exchange delighted smiles.) VALENTINE (to MISS SUSAN). And my other friends, I hope I find them in health? The spinet, ma'am, seems quite herself to-day; I trust the ottoman passed a good night? MISS SUSAN (beaming). We are all quite well, sir. VALENTINE. May I sit on this chair, Miss Phoebe? I know Miss Susan likes me to break her chairs. MISS SUSAN. Indeed, sir, I do not. Phoebe, how strange that he should think so. PHOEBE (instantly). The remark was humorous, was it not? VALENTINE. How you see through me, Miss Phoebe. (The sisters again exchange delighted smiles. VALENTINE is about to take a seat.) MISS SUSAN (thinking aloud). Oh dear, I feel sure he is going to roll the coverlet into a ball and then sit on it. (VALENTINE, who has been on the point of doing so, abstains and sits guiltily.) VALENTINE. So I am dashing, Miss Susan? Am I dashing, Miss Phoebe? PHOEBE. A--little, I think. VALENTINE. Well, but I have something to tell you to-day which I really think is rather dashing. (MISS SUSAN gathers her knitting, looks at PHOEBE, and is preparing to go.) You are not going, ma'am, before you know what it is? MISS SUSAN. I--I--indeed--to be sure--I--I know, Mr. Brown. PHOEBE. Susan! MISS SUSAN. I mean I do not know. I mean I can guess--I mean---- Phoebe, my love, explain. (She goes out.) VALENTINE (rather disappointed). The explanation being, I suppose, that you both know, and I had flattered myself 'twas such a secret. Am I then to understand that you had foreseen it all, Miss Phoebe? PHOEBE. Nay, sir, you must not ask that. VALENTINE. I believe in any case 'twas you who first put it into my head. PHOEBE (aghast). Oh, I hope not. VALENTINE. Your demure eyes flashed so every time the war was mentioned; the little Quaker suddenly looked like a gallant boy in ringlets. (A dread comes over PHOEBE, but it is in her heart alone; it shows neither in face nor voice.) PHOEBE. Mr. Brown, what is it you have to tell us? VALENTINE. That I have enlisted, Miss Phoebe. Did you surmise it was something else? PHOEBE. You are going to the wars? Mr. Brown, is it a jest? VALENTINE. It would be a sorry jest, ma'am. I thought you knew. I concluded that the recruiting sergeant had talked. PHOEBE. The recruiting sergeant? I see. VALENTINE. These stirring times, Miss Phoebe--he is but half a man who stays at home. I have chafed for months. I want to see whether I have any courage, and as to be an army surgeon does not appeal to me, it was enlist or remain behind. To-day I found that there were five waverers. I asked them would they take the shilling if I took it, and they assented. Miss Phoebe, it is not one man I give to the King, but six. PHOEBE (brightly). I think you have done bravely. VALENTINE. We leave shortly for the Petersburgh barracks, and I go to London tomorrow; so this is good-bye. PHOEBE. I shall pray that you may be preserved in battle, Mr. Brown. VALENTINE. And you and Miss Susan will write to me when occasion offers? PHOEBE. If you wish it. VALENTINE (smiling). With all the stirring news of Quality Street. PHOEBE. It seems stirring to us; it must have been merely laughable to you, who came here from a great city. VALENTINE. Dear Quality Street--that thought me dashing! But I made friends in it, Miss Phoebe, of two very sweet ladies. PHOEBE (timidly). Mr. Brown, I wonder why you have been so kind to my sister and me? VALENTINE. The kindness was yours. If at first Miss Susan amused me-- (Chuckling.) To see her on her knees decorating the little legs of the couch with frills as if it were a child! But it was her sterling qualities that impressed me presently. PHOEBE. And did--did I amuse you also? VALENTINE. Prodigiously, Miss Phoebe. Those other ladies, they were always scolding you, your youthfulness shocked them. I believe they thought you dashing. PHOEBE (nervously). I have sometimes feared that I was perhaps too dashing. VALENTINE (laughing at this). You delicious Miss Phoebe. You were too quiet. I felt sorry that one so sweet and young should live so grey a life. I wondered whether I could put any little pleasures into it. PHOEBE. The picnics? It was very good of you. VALENTINE. That was only how it began, for soon I knew that it was I who got the pleasures and you who gave them. You have been to me, Miss Phoebe, like a quiet, old-fashioned garden full of the flowers that Englishmen love best because they have known them longest: the daisy, that stands for innocence, and the hyacinth for constancy, and the modest violet and the rose. When I am far away, ma'am, I shall often think of Miss Phoebe's pretty soul, which is her garden, and shut my eyes and walk in it. (She is smiling gallantly through her pain when MISS SUSAN returns.) MISS SUSAN. Have you--is it--you seem so calm, Phoebe. PHOEBE (pressing her sister's hand warningly and imploringly). Susan, what Mr. Brown is so obliging as to inform us of is not what we expected--not that at all. My dear, he is the gentleman who has enlisted, and he came to tell us that and to say good-bye. MISS SUSAN. Going away? PHOEBE. Yes, dear. VALENTINE. Am I not the ideal recruit, ma'am: a man without a wife or a mother or a sweetheart? MISS SUSAN. No sweetheart? VALENTINE. Have you one for me, Miss Susan? PHOEBE (hastily, lest her sister's face should betray the truth). Susan, we shall have to tell him now. You dreadful man, you will laugh and say it is just like Quality Street. But indeed since I met you to-day and you told me you had something to communicate we have been puzzling what it could be, and we concluded that you were going to be married. VALENTINE. Ha! ha! ha! Was that it. PHOEBE. So like women, you know. We thought we perhaps knew her. (Glancing at the wedding-gown.) We were even discussing what we should wear at the wedding. VALENTINE. Ha! ha! I shall often think of this. I wonder who would have me, Miss Susan. (Rising.) But I must be off; and God bless you both. MISS SUSAN (forlorn). You are going! VALENTINE. No more mud on your carpet, Miss Susan; no more coverlets rolled into balls. A good riddance. Miss Phoebe, a last look at the garden. (Taking her hand and looking into her face.) PHOEBE. We shall miss you very much, Mr. Brown. VALENTINE. There is one little matter. That investment I advised you to make, I am happy it has turned out so well. PHOEBE (checking MISS SUSAN, who is about to tell of the loss of the money). It was good of you to take all that trouble, sir. Accept our grateful thanks. VALENTINE. Indeed I am glad that you are so comfortably left; I am your big brother. Good-bye again. (Looks round.) This little blue and white room and its dear inmates, may they be unchanged when I come back. Good-bye. (He goes. MISS SUSAN looks forlornly at PHOEBE, who smiles pitifully.) PHOEBE. A misunderstanding; just a mistake. (She shudders, lifts the wedding-gown and puts it back in the ottoman. MISS SUSAN sinks sobbing into a chair.) Don't, dear, don't--we can live it down. MISS SUSAN (fiercely). He is a fiend in human form. PHOEBE. Nay, you hurt me, sister. He is a brave gentleman. MISS SUSAN. The money; why did you not let me tell him? PHOEBE (flushing). So that he might offer to me out of pity, Susan? MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, how are we to live with the quartern loaf at one and tenpence? PHOEBE. Brother James---- MISS SUSAN. You know very well that brother James will do nothing for us. PHOEBE. I think, Susan, we could keep a little school--for genteel children only, of course. I would do most of the teaching. MISS SUSAN. You a schoolmistress--Phoebe of the ringlets; every one would laugh. PHOEBE. I shall hide the ringlets away in a cap like yours, Susan, and people will soon forget them. And I shall try to look staid and to grow old quickly. It will not be so hard to me as you think, dear. MISS SUSAN. There were other gentlemen who were attracted by you, Phoebe, and you turned from them. PHOEBE. I did not want them. MISS SUSAN. They will come again, and others. PHOEBE. No, dear; never speak of that to me any more. (In woe.) I let him kiss me. MISS SUSAN. You could not prevent him. PHOEBE. Yes, I could. I know I could now. I wanted him to do it. Oh, never speak to me of others after that. Perhaps he saw I wanted it and did it to please me. But I meant--indeed I did--that I gave it to him with all my love. Sister, I could bear all the rest; but I have been unladylike. (The curtain falls, and we do not see the sisters again for ten years.) End of Act I. ACT II THE SCHOOL Ten years later. It is the blue and white room still, but many of Miss Susan's beautiful things have gone, some of them never to return; others are stored upstairs. Their place is taken by grim scholastic furniture: forms, a desk, a globe, a blackboard, heartless maps. It is here that Miss Phoebe keeps school. Miss Susan teaches in the room opening off it, once the spare bedroom, where there is a smaller blackboard (for easier sums) but no globe, as Miss Susan is easily alarmed. Here are the younger pupils unless they have grown defiant, when they are promoted to the blue and white room to be under Miss Phoebe's braver rule. They really frighten Miss Phoebe also, but she does not let her sister know this. It is noon on a day in August, and through the window we can see that Quality Street is decorated with flags. We also hear at times martial music from another street. Miss Phoebe is giving a dancing lesson to half a dozen pupils, and is doing her very best; now she is at the spinet while they dance, and again she is showing them the new step. We know it is Miss Phoebe because some of her pretty airs and graces still cling to her in a forlorn way, but she is much changed. Her curls are out of sight under a cap, her manner is prim, the light has gone from her eyes and buoyancy from her figure; she looks not ten years older but twenty, and not an easy twenty. When the children are not looking at her we know that she has the headache. PHOEBE (who is sometimes at the spinet and sometimes dancing). Toes out. So. Chest out. Georgy. Point your toes, Miss Beveridge--so. So--keep in line; and young ladies, remember your toes. (GEORGY in his desire to please has protruded the wrong part of his person. She writes a C on his chest with chalk.) C stands for chest, Georgy. This is S. (MISS SUSAN darts out of the other room. She is less worn than MISS PHOEBE.) MISS SUSAN (whispering so that the pupils may not hear). Phoebe, how many are fourteen and seventeen? PHOEBE (almost instantly). Thirty-one. MISS SUSAN. I thank you. (She darts off.) PHOEBE. That will do, ladies and gentlemen. You may go. (They bow or curtsy, and retire to MISS SUSAN'S room, with the exception of ARTHUR WELLESLEY TOMSON, who is standing in disgrace in a corner with the cap of shame on his head, and ISABELLA, a forbidding-looking, learned little girl. ISABELLA holds up her hand for permission to speak.) ISABELLA. Please, ma'am, father wishes me to acquire algebra. PHOEBE (with a sinking). Algebra! It--it is not a very ladylike study, Isabella. ISABELLA. Father says, will you or won't you? PHOEBE. And you are thin. It will make you thinner, my dear. ISABELLA. Father says I am thin but wiry. PHOEBE. Yes, you are. (With feeling.) You are very wiry, Isabella. ISABELLA. Father says, either I acquire algebra or I go to Miss Prothero's establishment. PHOEBE. Very well, I--I will do my best. You may go. (ISABELLA goes and PHOEBE sits wearily.) ARTHUR (fingering his cap). Please, ma'am, may I take it off now? PHOEBE. Certainly not. Unhappy boy---- (ARTHUR grins.) Come here. Are you ashamed of yourself? ARTHUR (blithely). No, ma'am. PHOEBE (in a terrible voice). Arthur Wellesley Tomson, fetch me the implement. (ARTHUR goes briskly for the cane, and she hits the desk with it.) Arthur, surely that terrifies you? ARTHUR. No, ma'am. PHOEBE. Arthur, why did you fight with that street boy? ARTHUR. 'Cos he said that when you caned you did not draw blood. PHOEBE. But I don't, do I? ARTHUR. No, ma'am. PHOEBE. Then why fight him? (Remembering how strange boys are.) Was it for the honour of the school? ARTHUR. Yes, ma'am. PHOEBE. Say you are sorry, Arthur, and I won't punish you. (He bursts into tears.) ARTHUR. You promised to cane me, and now you are not going to do it. PHOEBE (incredulous). Do you wish to be caned? ARTHUR (holding out his hand eagerly). If you please, Miss Phoebe. PHOEBE. Unnatural boy. (She canes him in a very unprofessional manner.) Poor dear boy. (She kisses the hand.) ARTHUR (gloomily). Oh, ma'am, you will never be able to cane if you hold it like that. You should hold it like this, Miss Phoebe, and give it a wriggle like that. (She is too soft-hearted to follow his instructions.) PHOEBE (almost in tears). Go away. ARTHUR (remembering that women are strange). Don't cry, ma'am; I love you, Miss Phoebe. (She seats him on her knee, and he thinks of a way to please her.) If any boy says you can't cane I will blood him, Miss Phoebe. (PHOEBE shudders, and MISS SUSAN again darts in. She signs to PHOEBE to send ARTHUR away.) MISS SUSAN (as soon as ARTHUR has gone). Phoebe, if a herring and a half cost three ha'pence, how many for elevenpence? PHOEBE (instantly). Eleven. MISS SUSAN. William Smith says it is fifteen; and he is such a big boy, do you think I ought to contradict him? May I say there are differences of opinion about it? No one can be really sure, Phoebe. PHOEBE. It is eleven. I once worked it out with real herrings. (Stoutly.) Susan, we must never let the big boys know that we are afraid of them. To awe them, stamp with the foot, speak in a ferocious voice, and look them unflinchingly in the face. (Then she pales.) Oh, Susan, Isabella's father insists on her acquiring algebra. MISS SUSAN. What is algebra exactly; is it those three cornered things? PHOEBE. It is x minus y equals z plus y and things like that. And all the time you are saying they are equal, you feel in your heart, why should they be. (The music of the band swells here, and both ladies put their hands to their ears.) It is the band for to-night's ball. We must not grudge their rejoicings, Susan. It is not every year that there is a Waterloo to celebrate. MISS SUSAN. I was not thinking of that. I was thinking that he is to be at the ball to-night; and we have not seen him for ten years. PHOEBE (calmly). Yes, ten years. We shall be glad to welcome our old friend back, Susan. I am going in to your room now to take the Latin class. (A soldier with a girl passes--a yokel follows angrily.) MISS SUSAN. Oh, that weary Latin, I wish I had the whipping of the man who invented it. (She returns to her room, and the sound of the music dies away. MISS PHOEBE, who is not a very accomplished classical scholar, is taking a final peep at the declensions when MISS SUSAN reappears excitedly.) PHOEBE. What is it? MISS SUSAN (tragically). William Smith! Phoebe, I tried to look ferocious, indeed I did, but he saw I was afraid, and before the whole school he put out his tongue at me. PHOEBE. Susan! (She is lion-hearted; she remembers ARTHUR'S instructions, and practises with the cane.) MISS SUSAN (frightened). Phoebe, he is much too big. Let it pass. PHOEBE. If I let it pass I am a stumbling-block in the way of true education. MISS SUSAN. Sister. PHOEBE (grandly). Susan, stand aside. (Giving the cane ARTHUR'S most telling flick, she marches into the other room. Then, while MISS SUSAN is listening nervously, CAPTAIN VALENTINE BROWN is ushered in by PATTY. He is bronzed and soldierly. He wears the whiskers of the period, and is in uniform. He has lost his left hand, but this is not at first noticeable.) PATTY. Miss Susan, 'tis Captain Brown! MISS SUSAN. Captain Brown! VALENTINE (greeting her warmly). Reports himself at home again. MISS SUSAN (gratified). You call this home? VALENTINE. When the other men talked of their homes, Miss Susan, I thought of this room. (Looking about him.) Maps--desks--heigho! But still it is the same dear room. I have often dreamt, Miss Susan, that I came back to it in muddy shoes. (Seeing her alarm.) I have not, you know! Miss Susan, I rejoice to find no change in you; and Miss Phoebe--Miss Phoebe of the ringlets--I hope there be as little change in her? MISS SUSAN (painfully). Phoebe of the ringlets! Ah, Captain Brown, you need not expect to see her. VALENTINE. She is not here? I vow it spoils all my home-coming. (At this moment the door of the other room is filing open and PHOEBE rushes out, followed by WILLIAM SMITH who is brandishing the cane. VALENTINE takes in the situation, and without looking at PHOEBE seizes WILLIAM by the collar and marches him out of the school.) MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, did you see who it is? PHOEBE. I saw. (In a sudden tremor.) Susan, I have lost all my looks. (The pupils are crowding in from MISS SUSAN'S room and she orders them back and goes with them. VALENTINE returns, and speaks as he enters, not recognising PHOEBE, whose back is to him.) VALENTINE. A young reprobate, madam, but I have deposited him on the causeway. I fear-- (He stops, puzzled because the lady has covered her face with her hands.) PHOEBE. Captain Brown. VALENTINE. Miss Phoebe, it is you? (He goes to her, but he cannot help showing that her appearance is a shock to him.) PHOEBE (without bitterness). Yes, I have changed very much, I have not worn well, Captain Brown. VALENTINE (awkwardly). We--we are both older, Miss Phoebe. (He holds out his hand warmly, with affected high spirits.) PHOEBE (smiling reproachfully). It was both hands when you went away. (He has to show that his left hand is gone; she is overcome.) I did not know. (She presses the empty sleeve in remorse.) You never mentioned it in your letters. VALENTINE (now grown rather stern). Miss Phoebe, what did you omit from your letters that you had such young blackguards as that to terrify you? PHOEBE. He is the only one. Most of them are dear children; and this is the last day of the term. VALENTINE. Ah, ma'am, if only you had invested all your money as you laid out part by my advice. What a monstrous pity you did not. PHOEBE. We never thought of it. VALENTINE. You look so tired. PHOEBE. I have the headache to-day. VALENTINE. You did not use to have the headache. Curse those dear children. PHOEBE (bravely). Nay, do not distress yourself about me. Tell me of yourself. We are so proud of the way in which you won your commission. Will you leave the army now? VALENTINE. Yes; and I have some intention of pursuing again the old life in Quality Street. (He is not a man who has reflected much. He has come back thinking that all the adventures have been his, and that the old life in Quality Street has waited, as in a sleep, to be resumed on the day of his return.) I came here in such high spirits, Miss Phoebe. PHOEBE (with a wry smile). The change in me depresses you. VALENTINE. I was in hopes that you and Miss Susan would be going to the ball. I had brought cards for you with me to make sure. (She is pleased and means to accept. He sighs, and she understands that he thinks her too old.) PHOEBE. But now you see that my dancing days are done. VALENTINE (uncomfortably). Ah, no. PHOEBE (taking care he shall not see that he has hurt her). But you will find many charming partners. Some of them have been my pupils. There was even a pupil of mine who fought at Waterloo. VALENTINE. Young Blades; I have heard him on it. (She puts her hand wearily to her head). Miss Phoebe--what a dull grey world it is! (She turns away to hide her emotion, and MISS SUSAN comes in.) MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, I have said that you will not take the Latin class to-day, and I am dismissing them. VALENTINE. Latin? PHOEBE (rather defiantly). I am proud to teach it. (Breaking down.) Susan--his arm--have you seen? (MISS SUSAN also is overcome, but recovers as the children crowd in.) MISS SUSAN. Hats off, gentlemen salute, ladies curtsy--to the brave Captain Brown. (CAPTAIN BROWN salutes them awkwardly, and they cheer him, to his great discomfort, as they pass out.) VALENTINE (when they have gone). A terrible ordeal, ma'am. (The old friends look at each other, and there is a silence. VALENTINE feels that all the fine tales and merry jests he has brought back for the ladies have turned into dead things. He wants to go away and think.) PHOEBE. I wish you very happy at the ball. VALENTINE (sighing). Miss Susan, cannot we turn all these maps and horrors out till the vacation is over? MISS SUSAN. Indeed, sir, we always do. By to-morrow this will be my dear blue and white room again, and that my sweet spare bedroom. PHOEBE. For five weeks! VALENTINE (making vain belief). And then--the--the dashing Mr. Brown will drop in as of old, and, behold, Miss Susan on her knees once more putting tucks into my little friend the ottoman, and Miss Phoebe---Miss Phoebe---- PHOEBE. Phoebe of the ringlets! (She goes out quietly.) VALENTINE (miserably). Miss Susan, what a shame it is. MISS SUSAN (hotly). Yes, it is a shame. VALENTINE (suddenly become more of a man). The brave Captain Brown! Good God, ma'am, how much more brave are the ladies who keep a school. (PATTY shows in two visitors, MISS CHARLOTTE PARRATT and ENSIGN BLADES. CHARLOTTE is a pretty minx who we are glad to say does not reside in Quality Street, and BLADES is a callow youth, inviting admiration.) CHARLOTTE (as they salute). But I did not know you had company, Miss Susan. MISS SUSAN. 'Tis Captain Brown--Miss Charlotte Parratt. CHARLOTTE (gushing). The heroic Brown? VALENTINE. Alas, no, ma'am, the other one. CHARLOTTE. Miss Susan, do you see who accompanies me? MISS SUSAN. I cannot quite recall---- BLADES. A few years ago, ma'am, there sat in this room a scrubby, inky little boy--I was that boy. MISS SUSAN. Can it be our old pupil--Ensign Blades? (She thinks him very fine, and he bows, well pleased.) BLADES. Once a little boy and now your most obedient, ma'am. MISS SUSAN. You have come to recall old memories? BLADES. Not precisely; I--Charlotte, explain. CHARLOTTE. Ensign Blades wishes me to say that it must seem highly romantic to you to have had a pupil who has fought at Waterloo. MISS SUSAN. Not exactly romantic. I trust, sir, that when you speak of having been our pupil you are also so obliging as to mention that it was during our first year. Otherwise it makes us seem so elderly. (He bows again, in what he believes to be a quizzical manner.) CHARLOTTE. Ensign Blades would be pleased to hear, Miss Susan, what you think of him as a whole. MISS SUSAN. Indeed, sir, I think you are monstrous fine. (Innocently.) It quite awes me to remember that we used to whip him. VALENTINE (delighted). Whipped him, Miss Susan! (In solemn burlesque of CHARLOTTE.) Ensign Blades wishes to indicate that it was more than Buonaparte could do. We shall meet again, bright boy. (He makes his adieux and goes.) BLADES. Do you think he was quizzing me? MISS SUSAN (simply). I cannot think so. BLADES. He said 'bright boy,' ma'am. MISS SUSAN. I am sure, sir, he did not mean it. (PHOEBE returns.) PHOEBE. Charlotte, I am happy to see you. You look delicious, my dear--so young and fresh. CHARLOTTE. La! Do you think so, Miss Phoebe? BLADES. Miss Phoebe, your obedient. PHOEBE. It is Ensign Blades! But how kind of you, sir, to revisit the old school. Please to sit down. CHARLOTTE. Ensign Blades has a favour to ask of you, Miss Phoebe. BLADES. I learn, ma'am, that Captain Brown has obtained a card for you for the ball, and I am here to solicit for the honour of standing up with you. (For the moment PHOEBE is flattered. Here, she believes, is some one who does not think her too old for the dance. Then she perceives a meaning smile pass between CHARLOTTE and the ENSIGN.) PHOEBE (paling). Is it that you desire to make sport of me? BLADES (honestly distressed). Oh no, ma'am, I vow--but I--I am such a quiz, ma'am. MISS SUSAN. Sister! PHOEBE. I am sorry, sir, to have to deprive you of some entertainment, but I am not going to the ball. MISS SUSAN (haughtily). Ensign Blades, I bid you my adieux. BLADES (ashamed). If I have hurt Miss Phoebe's feelings I beg to apologise. MISS SUSAN. If you have hurt them. Oh, sir, how is it possible for any one to be as silly as you seem to be. BLADES (who cannot find the answer). Charlotte--explain. (But CHARLOTTE considers that their visit has not been sufficiently esteemed and departs with a cold curtsy, taking him with her.) (MISS SUSAN turns sympathetically to PHOEBE, but PHOEBE, fighting with her pain, sits down at the spinet and plays at first excitedly a gay tune, then slowly, then comes to a stop with her head bowed. Soon she jumps up courageously, brushes away her distress, gets an algebra book from the desk and sits down to study it. MISS SUSAN is at the window, where ladies and gentlemen are now seen passing in ball attire.) MISS SUSAN. What book is it, Phoebe? PHOEBE. It is an algebra. MISS SUSAN. They are going by to the ball. (In anger.) My Phoebe should be going to the ball, too. PHOEBE. You jest, Susan. (MISS SUSAN watches her read. PHOEBE has to wipe away a tear; soon she rises and gives way to the emotion she has been suppressing ever since the entrance of VALENTINE.) Susan, I hate him. Oh, Susan, I could hate him if it were not for his poor hand. MISS SUSAN. My dear. PHOEBE. He thought I was old, because I am weary, and he should not have forgotten. I am only thirty. Susan, why does thirty seem so much more than twenty-nine? (As if VALENTINE were present.) Oh, sir, how dare you look so pityingly at me? Because I have had to work so hard,--is it a crime when a woman works? Because I have tried to be courageous--have I been courageous, Susan? MISS SUSAN. God knows you have. PHOEBE. But it has given me the headache, it has tired my eyes. Alas, Miss Phoebe, all your charm has gone, for you have the headache, and your eyes are tired. He is dancing with Charlotte Parratt now, Susan. 'I vow, Miss Charlotte, you are selfish and silly, but you are sweet eighteen.' 'Oh la, Captain Brown, what a quiz you are.' That delights him, Susan; see how he waggles his silly head. MISS SUSAN. Charlotte Parratt is a goose. PHOEBE. 'Tis what gentlemen prefer. If there were a sufficient number of geese to go round, Susan, no woman of sense would ever get a husband. 'Charming Miss Charlotte, you are like a garden; Miss Phoebe was like a garden once, but 'tis a faded garden now.' MISS SUSAN. If to be ladylike---- PHOEBE. Susan, I am tired of being ladylike. I am a young woman still, and to be ladylike is not enough. I wish to be bright and thoughtless and merry. It is every woman's birthright to be petted and admired; I wish to be petted and admired. Was I born to be confined within these four walls? Are they the world, Susan, or is there anything beyond them? I want to know. My eyes are tired because for ten years they have seen nothing but maps and desks. Ten years! Ten years ago I went to bed a young girl and I woke with this cap on my head. It is not fair. This is not me, Susan, this is some other person, I want to be myself. MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, Phoebe, you who have always been so patient! PHOEBE. Oh no, not always. If you only knew how I have rebelled at times, you would turn from me in horror. Susan, I have a picture of myself as I used to be; I sometimes look at it. I sometimes kiss it, and say, 'Poor girl, they have all forgotten you. But I remember.' MISS SUSAN. I cannot recall it. PHOEBE. I keep it locked away in my room. Would you like to see it? I shall bring it down. My room! Oh, Susan, it is there that the Phoebe you think so patient has the hardest fight with herself, for there I have seemed to hear and see the Phoebe of whom this (looking at herself) is but an image in a distorted glass. I have heard her singing as if she thought she was still a girl. I have heard her weeping; perhaps it was only I who was weeping; but she seemed to cry to me, 'Let me out of this prison, give me back the years you have taken from me. Oh, where are my pretty curls?' she cried. 'Where is my youth, my youth.' (She goes out, leaving MISS SUSAN woeful. Presently SUSAN takes up the algebra book and reads.) MISS SUSAN. 'A stroke B multiplied by B stroke C equal AB stroke a little 2; stroke AC add BC. "Poor Phoebe!" Multiply by C stroke A and we get-- Poor Phoebe! C a B stroke a little 2 stroke AC little 2 add BC. "Oh, I cannot believe it!" Stroke a little 2 again, add AB little 2 add a little 2C stroke a BC.' ... (PATTY comes in with the lamp.) PATTY. Hurting your poor eyes reading without a lamp. Think shame, Miss Susan. MISS SUSAN (with spirit). Patty, I will not be dictated to. (PATTY looks out at window.) Draw the curtains at once. I cannot allow you to stand gazing at the foolish creatures who crowd to a ball. PATTY (closing curtains). I am not gazing at them, ma'am; I am gazing at my sweetheart. MISS SUSAN. Your sweetheart? (Softly.) I did not know you had one. PATTY. Nor have I, ma'am, as yet. But I looks out, and thinks I to myself, at any moment he may turn the corner. I ha' been looking out at windows waiting for him to oblige by turning the corner this fifteen years. MISS SUSAN. Fifteen years, and still you are hopeful? PATTY. There is not a more hopeful woman in all the king's dominions. MISS SUSAN. You who are so much older than Miss Phoebe. PATTY. Yes, ma'am, I ha' the advantage of her by ten years. MISS SUSAN. It would be idle to pretend that you are specially comely. PATTY. That may be, but my face is my own, and the more I see it in the glass the more it pleases me. I never look at it but I say to myself, 'Who is to be the lucky man?' MISS SUSAN. 'Tis wonderful. PATTY. This will be a great year for females, ma'am. Think how many of the men that marched away strutting to the wars have come back limping. Who is to take off their wooden legs of an evening, Miss Susan? You, ma'am, or me? MISS SUSAN. Patty! PATTY (doggedly). Or Miss Phoebe? (With feeling.) The pretty thing that she was, Miss Susan. MISS SUSAN. Do you remember, Patty? I think there is no other person who remembers unless it be the Misses Willoughby and Miss Henrietta. PATTY (eagerly). Give her a chance, ma'am, and take her to the balls. There be three of them this week, and the last ball will be the best, for 'tis to be at the barracks, and you will need a carriage to take you there, and there will be the packing of you into it by gallant squires and the unpacking of you out, and other devilries. MISS SUSAN. Patty! PATTY. If Miss Phoebe were to dress young again and put candles in her eyes that used to be so bright, and coax back her curls-- (PHOEBE returns, and a great change has come over her. She is young and pretty again. She is wearing the wedding-gown of ACT I., her ringlets are glorious, her figure youthful, her face flushed and animated. PATTY is the first to see her, and is astonished. PHOEBE signs to her to go.) PHOEBE (when PATTY has gone). Susan. (MISS SUSAN sees and is speechless.) Susan, this is the picture of my old self that I keep locked away in my room, and sometimes take out of its box to look at. This is the girl who kisses herself in the glass and sings and dances with glee until I put her away frightened lest you should hear her. MISS SUSAN. How marvellous! Oh, Phoebe. PHOEBE. Perhaps I should not do it, but it is so easy. I have but to put on the old wedding-gown and tumble my curls out of the cap. (Passionately.) Sister, am I as changed as he says I am? MISS SUSAN. You almost frighten me. (The band is heard.) PHOEBE. The music is calling to us. Susan, I will celebrate Waterloo in a little ball of my own. See, my curls have begun to dance, they are so anxious to dance. One dance, Susan, to Phoebe of the ringlets, and then I will put her away in her box and never look at her again. Ma'am, may I have the honour? Nay, then I shall dance alone. (She dances.) Oh, Susan, I almost wish I were a goose. (Presently PATTY returns. She gazes at MISS PHOEBE dancing.) PATTY. Miss Phoebe! PHOEBE (still dancing). Not Miss Phoebe, Patty. I am not myself to-night, I am--let me see, I am my niece. PATTY (in a whisper to SUSAN). But Miss Susan, 'tis Captain Brown. MISS SUSAN. Oh, stop, Phoebe, stop! PATTY. Nay, let him see her! (MISS SUSAN hurries scandalised into the other room as VALENTINE enters.) VALENTINE. I ventured to come back because---- (PHOEBE turns to him--he stops abruptly, bewildered.) I beg your pardon, madam, I thought it was Miss Susan or Miss Phoebe. (His mistake surprises her, but she is in a wild mood and curtsies, then turns away and smiles. He stares as if half-convinced.) PATTY (with an inspiration). 'Tis my mistresses' niece, sir; she is on a visit here. (He is deceived. He bows gallantly, then remembers the object of his visit. He produces a bottle of medicine.) VALENTINE. Patty, I obtained this at the apothecary's for Miss Phoebe's headache. It should be taken at once. PATTY. Miss Phoebe is lying down, sir. VALENTINE. Is she asleep? PATTY (demurely). No, sir, I think she be wide awake. VALENTINE. It may soothe her. PHOEBE. Patty, take it to Aunt Phoebe at once. (PATTY goes out sedately with the medicine.) VALENTINE (after a little awkwardness, which PHOEBE enjoys). Perhaps I may venture to present myself, Miss--Miss----? PHOEBE. Miss--Livvy, sir. VALENTINE. I am Captain Brown, Miss Livvy, an old friend of both your aunts. PHOEBE (curtsying). I have heard them speak of a dashing Mr. Brown. But I think it cannot be the same. VALENTINE (a little chagrined). Why not, ma'am? PHOEBE. I ask your pardon, sir. VALENTINE, I was sure you must be related. Indeed, for a moment the likeness--even the voice---- PHOEBE (pouting). La, sir, you mean I am like Aunt Phoebe. Every one says so--and indeed 'tis no compliment. VALENTINE. 'Twould have been a compliment once. You must be a daughter of the excellent Mr. James Throssel who used to reside at Great Buckland. PHOEBE. He is still there. VALENTINE. A tedious twenty miles from here, as I remember. PHOEBE. La! I have found the journey a monstrous quick one, sir. (The band is again heard. She runs to the window to peep between the curtains, and his eyes follow her admiringly.) VALENTINE (eagerly). Miss Livvy, you go to the ball? PHOEBE. Alas, sir, I have no card. VALENTINE. I have two cards for your aunts. As Miss Phoebe has the headache, your Aunt Susan must take you to the ball. PHOEBE. Oh, oh! (Her feet move to the music.) Sir, I cannot control my feet. VALENTINE. They are already at the ball, ma'am; you must follow them. PHOEBE (with all the pent-up mischief of ten years). Oh, sir, do you think some pretty gentleman might be partial to me at the ball? VALENTINE. If that is your wish---- PHOEBE. I should love, sir, to inspire frenzy in the breast of the male. (With sudden collapse.) I dare not go--I dare not. VALENTINE. Miss Livvy, I vow---- (He turns eagerly to MISS SUSAN, who enters.) I have ventured, Miss Susan, to introduce myself to your charming niece. (MISS SUSAN would like to run away again, but the wicked MISS PHOEBE is determined to have her help.) PHOEBE. Aunt Susan, do not be angry with your Livvy--your Livvy, Aunt Susan. This gentleman says he is the dashing Mr. Brown, he has cards for us for the ball, Auntie. Of course we cannot go--we dare not go. Oh, Auntie, hasten into your bombazine. MISS SUSAN (staggered). Phoebe---- PHOEBE. Aunt Phoebe wants me to go. If I say she does you know she does! MISS SUSAN. But my dear, my dear. PHOEBE. Oh, Auntie, why do you talk so much. Come, come. VALENTINE. I shall see to it, Miss Susan, that your niece has a charming ball. PHOEBE. He means he will find me sweet partners. VALENTINE. Nay, ma'am, I mean I shall be your partner. PHOEBE (who is not an angel). Aunt Susan, he still dances! VALENTINE. Still, ma'am? PHOEBE. Oh, sir, you are indeed dashing. Nay, sir, please not to scowl, I could not avoid noticing them. VALENTINE. Noticing what, Miss Livvy? PHOEBE. The grey hairs, sir. VALENTINE. I vow, ma'am, there is not one in my head. PHOEBE. He is such a quiz. I so love a quiz. VALENTINE. Then, ma'am, I shall do nothing but quiz you at the ball. Miss Susan, I beg you-- MISS SUSAN. Oh, sir, dissuade her. VALENTINE. Nay, I entreat. PHOEBE. Auntie! MISS SUSAN. Think, my dear, think, we dare not. PHOEBE (shuddering). No, we dare not, I cannot go. VALENTINE. Indeed, ma'am. PHOEBE. 'Tis impossible. (She really means it, and had not the music here taken an unfair advantage of her it is certain that MISS PHOEBE would never have gone to the ball. In after years she and MISS SUSAN would have talked together of the monstrous evening when she nearly lost her head, but regained it before it could fall off. But suddenly the music swells so alluringly that it is a thousand fingers beckoning her to all the balls she has missed, and in a transport she whirls MISS SUSAN from the blue and white room to the bed-chamber where is the bombazine. VALENTINE awaits their return like a conqueror, until MISS LIVVY'S words about his hair return to trouble him. He is stooping, gazing intently into a small mirror, extracting the grey hairs one by one, when PATTY ushers in the sisters WILLOUGHBY and MISS HENRIETTA. MISS HENRIETTA is wearing the new veil, which opens or closes like curtains when she pulls a string. She opens it now to see what he is doing, and the slight sound brings him to his feet.) MISS HENRIETTA. 'Tis but the new veil, sir; there is no cause for alarm. (They have already learned from PATTY, we may be sure, that he is in the house, but they express genteel surprise.) MISS FANNY. Mary, surely we are addressing the gallant Captain Brown! VALENTINE. It is the Misses Willoughby and Miss Henrietta. 'Tis indeed a gratification to renew acquaintance with such elegant and respectable females. (The greetings are elaborate.) MISS WILLOUGHBY. You have seen Miss Phoebe, sir? VALENTINE. I have had the honour. Miss Phoebe, I regret to say, is now lying down with the headache. (The ladies are too delicately minded to exchange glances before a man, but they are privately of opinion that this meeting after ten years with the dazzling BROWN has laid MISS PHOEBE low. They are in a twitter of sympathy with her, and yearning to see MISS SUSAN alone, so that they may draw from her an account of the exciting meeting.) You do not favour the ball to-night? MISS FANNY. I confess balls are distasteful to me. MISS HENRIETTA. 'Twill be a mixed assembly. I am credibly informed that the woollen draper's daughter has obtained a card. VALENTINE (gravely). Good God, ma'am, is it possible? MISS WILLOUGHBY. We shall probably spend the evening here with Miss Susan at the card table. VALENTINE. But Miss Susan goes with me to the ball, ma'am. (This is scarcely less exciting to them than the overthrow of the Corsican.) VALENTINE. Nay, I hope there be no impropriety. Miss Livvy will accompany her. MISS WILLOUGHBY (bewildered). Miss Livvy? VALENTINE. Their charming niece. (The ladies repeat the word in a daze.) MISS FANNY. They had not apprised us that they have a visitor. (They think this reticence unfriendly, and are wondering whether they ought not to retire hurt, when MISS SUSAN enters in her bombazine, wraps, and bonnet. She starts at sight of them, and has the bearing of a guilty person.) MISS WILLOUGHBY (stiffly). We have but now been advertised of your intention for this evening, Susan. MISS HENRIETTA. We deeply regret our intrusion. MISS SUSAN (wistfully). Please not to be piqued, Mary. 'Twas so--sudden. MISS WILLOUGHBY. I cannot remember, Susan, that your estimable brother had a daughter. I thought all the three were sons. MISS SUSAN (with deplorable readiness). Three sons and a daughter. Surely you remember little Livvy, Mary? MISS WILLOUGHBY (bluntly). No, Susan, I do not. MISS SUSAN. I--I must go. I hear Livvy calling. MISS FANNY (tartly). I hear nothing but the band. We are not to see your niece? MISS SUSAN. Another time--to-morrow. Pray rest a little before you depart, Mary. I--I--Phoebe Livvy--the headache---- (But before she can go another lady enters gaily.) VALENTINE. Ah, here is Miss Livvy. (The true culprit is more cunning than MISS SUSAN, and before they can see her she quickly pulls the strings of her bonnet, which is like MISS HENRIETTA'S, and it obscures her face.) MISS SUSAN. This--this is my niece, Livvy--Miss Willoughby, Miss Henrietta, Miss Fanny Willoughby. VALENTINE. Ladies, excuse my impatience, but-- MISS WILLOUGHBY. One moment, sir. May I ask, Miss Livvy, how many brothers you have. PHOEBE. Two. MISS WILLOUGHBY. I thank you. (She looks strangely at MISS SUSAN, and MISS PHOEBE knows that she has blundered.) PHOEBE (at a venture). Excluding the unhappy Thomas. MISS SUSAN (clever for the only moment in her life). We never mention him. (They are swept away on the arms of the impatient CAPTAIN.) MISS WILLOUGHBY, MISS HENRIETTA, AND MISS FANNY. What has Thomas done? (They have no suspicion as yet of what MISS PHOEBE has done; but they believe there is a scandal in the Throssel family, and they will not sleep happily until they know what it is.) End of Act II. ACT III THE BALL A ball, but not the one to which we have seen Miss Susan and Miss Phoebe rush forth upon their career of crime. This is the third of the series, the one of which Patty has foretold with horrid relish that it promises to be specially given over to devilries. The scene is a canvas pavilion, used as a retiring room and for card play, and through an opening in the back we have glimpses of gay uniforms and fair ladies intermingled in the bravery of the dance. There is coming and going through this opening, and also through slits in the canvas. The pavilion is fantastically decorated in various tastes, and is lit with lanterns. A good-natured moon, nevertheless, shines into it benignly. Some of the card tables are neglected, but at one a game of quadrille is in progress. There is much movement and hilarity, but none from one side of the tent, where sit several young ladies, all pretty, all appealing and all woeful, for no gallant comes to ask them if he may have the felicity. The nervous woman chaperoning them, and afraid to meet their gaze lest they scowl or weep in reply, is no other than Miss Susan, the most unhappy Miss Susan we have yet seen; she sits there gripping her composure in both hands. Far less susceptible to shame is the brazen Phoebe, who may be seen passing the opening on the arm of a cavalier, and flinging her trembling sister a mischievous kiss. The younger ladies note the incident; alas, they are probably meant to notice it, and they cower, as under a blow. HARRIET (a sad-eyed, large girl, who we hope found a romance at her next ball). Are we so disagreeable that no one will dance with us? Miss Susan, 'tis infamous; they have eyes for no one but your niece. CHARLOTTE. Miss Livvy has taken Ensign Blades from me. HARRIET. If Miss Phoebe were here, I am sure she would not allow her old pupils to be so neglected. (The only possible reply for MISS SUSAN is to make herself look as small as possible. A lieutenant comes to them, once a scorner of woman, but now SPICER the bewitched. HARRIET has a moment's hope.) How do you do, sir? SPICER (with dreadful indifference, though she is his dear cousin). Nay, ma'am, how do you do? (Wistfully.) May I stand beside you, Miss Susan? (He is a most melancholic young man, and he fidgets her.) MISS SUSAN (with spirit). You have been standing beside me, sir, nearly all the evening. SPICER (humbly. It is strange to think that he had been favourably mentioned in despatches). Indeed, I cannot but be cognisant of the sufferings I cause by attaching myself to you in this unseemly manner. Accept my assurances, ma'am, that you have my deepest sympathy. MISS SUSAN. Then why do you do it? SPICER. Because you are her aunt, ma'am. It is a scheme of mine by which I am in hopes to soften her heart. Her affection for you, ma'am, is beautiful to observe, and if she could be persuaded that I seek her hand from a passionate desire to have you for my Aunt Susan--do you perceive anything hopeful in my scheme, ma'am? MISS SUSAN. No, sir, I do not. (SPICER wanders away gloomily, takes too much to drink, and ultimately becomes a general. ENSIGN BLADES appears, frowning, and CHARLOTTE ventures to touch his sleeve.) CHARLOTTE. Ensign Blades, I have not danced with you once this evening. BLADES (with the cold brutality of a lover to another she). Nor I with you, Charlotte. (To SUSAN.) May I solicit of you, Miss Susan, is Captain Brown Miss Livvy's guardian; is he affianced to her? MISS SUSAN. No, sir. BLADES. Then by what right, ma'am, does he interfere? Your elegant niece had consented to accompany me to the shrubbery--to look at the moon. And now Captain Brown forbids it. 'Tis unendurable. CHARLOTTE. But you may see the moon from here, sir. BLADES (glancing at it contemptuously). I believe not, ma'am. (The moon still shines on.) MISS SUSAN (primly). I am happy Captain Brown forbade her. BLADES. Miss Susan, 'twas but because he is to conduct her to the shrubbery himself. (He flings out pettishly, and MISS SUSAN looks pityingly at the wall-flowers.) MISS SUSAN. My poor Charlotte! May I take you to some very agreeable ladies? CHARLOTTE (tartly). No, you may not. I am going to the shrubbery to watch Miss Livvy. MISS SUSAN. Please not to do that. CHARLOTTE (implying that MISS SUSAN will be responsible for her early death). My chest is weak. I shall sit among the dew. MISS SUSAN. Charlotte, you terrify me. At least, please to put this cloak about your shoulders. Nay, my dear, allow me. (She puts a cloak around CHARLOTTE, who departs vindictively for the shrubbery. She will not find LIVVY there, however, for next moment MISS PHOEBE darts in from the back.) PHOEBE (in a gay whisper). Susan, another offer [Transcriber's note: officer?] --Major Linkwater--rotund man, black whiskers, fierce expression; he has rushed away to destroy himself. (We have been unable to find any record of the Major's tragic end.) AN OLD SOLDIER (looking up from a card table, whence he has heard the raging of BLADES). Miss Livvy, ma'am, what is this about the moon? (PHOEBE smiles roguishly.) PHOEBE (looking about her). I want my cloak, Aunt Susan. MISS SUSAN. I have just lent it to poor Charlotte Parratt. PHOEBE. Oh, auntie! OLD SOLDIER. And now Miss Livvy cannot go into the shrubbery to see the moon; and she is so fond of the moon! (MISS PHOEBE screws her nose at him merrily, and darts back to the dance, but she has left a defender behind her.) A GALLANT (whose name we have not succeeded in discovering). Am I to understand, sir, that you are intimating disparagement of the moon? If a certain female has been graciously pleased to signify approval of that orb, any slight cast upon the moon, sir, I shall regard as a personal affront. OLD SOLDIER. Hoity-toity. (But he rises, and they face each other, as MISS SUSAN feels, for battle. She is about to rush between their undrawn swords when there is a commotion outside; a crowd gathers and opens to allow some officers to assist a fainting woman into the tent. It is MISS PHOEBE, and MISS SUSAN with a cry goes on her knees beside her. The tent has filled with the sympathetic and inquisitive, but CAPTAIN BROWN, as a physician, takes command, and by his order they retire. He finds difficulty in bringing the sufferer to, and gets little help from MISS SUSAN, who can only call upon MISS PHOEBE by name.) VALENTINE. Nay, Miss Susan, 'tis useless calling for Miss Phoebe. 'Tis my fault; I should not have permitted Miss Livvy to dance so immoderately. Why do they delay with the cordial? (He goes to the back to close the opening, and while he is doing so the incomprehensible MISS PHOEBE seizes the opportunity to sit up on her couch of chairs, waggle her finger at MISS SUSAN, and sign darkly that she is about to make a genteel recovery.) PHOEBE. Where am I? Is that you, Aunt Susan? What has happened? VALENTINE (returning). Nay, you must recline, Miss Livvy. You fainted. You have over-fatigued yourself. PHOEBE. I remember. (BLADES enters with the cordial.) VALENTINE. You will sip this cordial. BLADES. By your leave, sir. (He hands it to PHOEBE himself.) VALENTINE. She is in restored looks already, Miss Susan. PHOEBE. I am quite recovered. Perhaps if you were to leave me now with my excellent aunt---- VALENTINE. Be off with you, apple cheeks. BLADES. Sir, I will suffer no reference to my complexion; and, if I mistake not, this charming lady was addressing you. PHOEBE. If you please, both of you. (They retire together, and no sooner have they gone than MISS PHOEBE leaps from the couch, her eyes sparkling. She presses the cordial on MISS SUSAN.) Nay, drink it, Susan. I left it for you on purpose. I have such awful information to impart. Drink. (MISS SUSAN drinks tremblingly and then the bolt is fired.) Susan, Miss Henrietta and Miss Fanny are here! MISS SUSAN. Phoebe! PHOEBE. Suddenly my eyes lighted on them. At once I slipped to the ground. MISS SUSAN. You think they did not see you? PHOEBE. I am sure of it. They talked for a moment to Ensign Blades, and then turned and seemed to be going towards the shrubbery. MISS SUSAN. He had heard that you were there with Captain Brown. He must have told them. PHOEBE. I was not. But oh, sister, I am sure they suspect, else why should they be here? They never frequent balls. MISS SUSAN. They have suspected for a week, ever since they saw you in your veil, Phoebe, on the night of the first dance. How could they but suspect, when they have visited us every day since then and we have always pretended that Livvy was gone out. PHOEBE. Should they see my face it will be idle to attempt to deceive them. MISS SUSAN. Idle indeed; Phoebe, the scandal! You--a schoolmistress! PHOEBE. That is it, sister. A little happiness has gone to my head like strong waters. (She is very restless and troubled.) MISS SUSAN. My dear, stand still, and think. PHOEBE. I dare not, I cannot. Oh, Susan, if they see me we need not open school again. MISS SUSAN. We shall starve. PHOEBE (passionately). This horrid, forward, flirting, heartless, hateful little toad of a Livvy. MISS SUSAN. Brother James's daughter, as we call her! PHOEBE. 'Tis all James's fault. MISS SUSAN. Sister, when you know that James has no daughter! PHOEBE. If he had really had one, think you I could have been so wicked as to personate her? Susan, I know not what I am saying, but you know who it is that has turned me into this wild creature. MISS SUSAN. Oh, Valentine Brown, how could you? PHOEBE. To weary of Phoebe--patient, lady-like Phoebe--the Phoebe whom I have lost--to turn from her with a 'Bah, you make me old,' and become enamoured in a night of a thing like this! MISS SUSAN. Yes, yes, indeed; yet he has been kind to us also. He has been to visit us several times. PHOEBE. In the hope to see her. Was he not most silent and gloomy when we said she was gone out? MISS SUSAN. He is infatuate---- (She hesitates.) Sister, you are not partial to him still? PHOEBE. No, Susan, no. I did love him all those years, though I never spoke of it to you. I put hope aside at once, I folded it up and kissed it and put it away like a pretty garment I could never wear again, I but loved to think of him as a noble man. But he is not a noble man, and Livvy found it out in an hour. The gallant! I flirted that I might enjoy his fury. Susan, there has been a declaration in his eyes all to-night, and when he cries 'Adorable Miss Livvy, be mine,' I mean to answer with an 'Oh, la, how ridiculous you are. You are much too old--I have been but quizzing you, sir.' MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, how can you be so cruel? PHOEBE. Because he has taken from me the one great glory that is in a woman's life. Not a man's love--she can do without that--but her own dear sweet love for him. He is unworthy of my love; that is why I can be so cruel. MISS SUSAN. Oh, dear. PHOEBE. And now my triumph is to be denied me, for we must steal away home before Henrietta and Fanny see us. MISS SUSAN. Yes, yes. PHOEBE (dispirited). And to-morrow we must say that Livvy has gone back to her father, for I dare keep up this deception no longer. Susan, let us go. (They are going dejectedly, but are arrested by the apparition of MISS HENRIETTA and MISS FANNY peeping into the tent. PHOEBE has just time to signify to her sister that she will confess all and beg for mercy, when the intruders speak.) Miss HENRIETTA (not triumphant but astounded). You, Miss Phoebe? PHOEBE (with bowed head). Yes. MISS FANNY. How amazing! You do not deny, ma'am, that you are Miss Phoebe? PHOEBE (making confession). Yes, Fanny, I am Miss Phoebe. (To her bewilderment HENRIETTA and FANNY exchange ashamed glances.) MISS HENRIETTA. Miss Phoebe, we have done you a cruel wrong. MISS FANNY. Phoebe, we apologise. MISS HENRIETTA. To think how excitedly we have been following her about in the shrubbery. MISS FANNY. She is wearing your cloak. MISS HENRIETTA. Ensign Blades told us she was gone to the shrubbery. MISS FANNY. And we were convinced there was no such person. MISS HENRIETTA. So of course we thought it must be you. MISS FANNY (who has looked out). I can discern her in the shrubbery still. She is decidedly taller than Phoebe. MISS HENRIETTA. I thought she looked taller. I meant to say so. Phoebe, 'twas the cloak deceived us. We could not see her face. PHOEBE (beginning to understand). Cloak? You mean, Henrietta--you mean, Fanny-- MISS FANNY. 'Twas wicked of us, my dear, but we--we thought that you and Miss Livvy were the same person. (They have evidently been stalking CHARLOTTE in MISS PHOEBE'S cloak. MISS SUSAN shudders, but MISS PHOEBE utters a cry of reproach, and it is some time before they can persuade her to forgive them. It is of course also some time before we can forgive MISS PHOEBE.) Phoebe, you look so pretty. Are they paying you no attentions, my dear? (PHOEBE is unable to resist these delightful openings. The imploring looks MISS SUSAN gives her but add to her enjoyment. It is as if the sense of fun she had caged a moment ago were broke loose again.) PHOEBE. Alas, they think of none but Livvy. They come to me merely to say that they adore her. MISS HENRIETTA. Surely not Captain Brown? PHOEBE. He is infatuate about her. MISS FANNY. Poor Phoebe! (They make much of her, and she purrs naughtily to their stroking, with lightning peeps at MISS SUSAN. Affronted Providence seeks to pay her out by sending ENSIGN BLADES into the tent. Then the close observer may see MISS PHOEBE'S heart sink like a bucket in a well. MISS SUSAN steals from the tent.) MISS HENRIETTA. Mr. Blades, I have been saying that if I were a gentleman I would pay my addresses to Miss Phoebe much rather than to her niece. BLADES. Ma'am, excuse me. MISS HENRIETTA (indignant that MISS PHOEBE should be slighted so publicly). Sir, you are a most ungallant and deficient young man. BLADES. Really, ma'am, I assure you---- MISS HENRIETTA. Not another word, sir. PHOEBE (in her most old-maidish manner). Miss Fanny, Miss Henrietta, it is time I spoke plainly to this gentleman. Please leave him to me. Surely 'twill come best from me. MISS HENRIETTA. Indeed, yes, if it be not too painful to you. PHOEBE. I must do my duty. MISS FANNY (wistfully). If we could remain-- PHOEBE. Would it be seemly, Miss Fanny? MISS HENRIETTA. Come, Fanny. (To BLADES.) Sir, you bring your punishment upon yourself. (They press PHOEBE'S hand, and go. Her heart returns to its usual abode.) BLADES (bewildered). Are you angry with me, Miss Livvy? PHOEBE. Oh, no. BLADES. Miss Livvy, I have something to say to you of supreme importance to me. With regard to my complexion, I am aware, Miss Livvy, that it has retained a too youthful bloom. My brother officers comment on it with a certain lack of generosity. (Anxiously.) Might I inquire, ma'am, whether you regard my complexion as a subject for light talk. PHOEBE. No indeed, sir, I only wish I had it. BLADES (who has had no intention of offering, but is suddenly carried off his feet by the excellence of the opportunity, which is no doubt responsible for many proposals). Miss Livvy, ma'am, you may have it. (She has a great and humorous longing that she could turn before his affrighted eyes into the schoolmistress she really is. She would endure much to be able at this moment to say, 'I have listened to you, ENSIGN BLADES, with attention, but I am really MISS PHOEBE, and I must now request you to fetch me the implement.' Under the shock, would he have surrendered his palm for punishment? It can never be known, for as she looks at him longingly, LIEUTENANT SPICER enters, and he mistakes the meaning of that longing look.) SPICER. 'Tis my dance, ma'am--'tis not Ensign Blades'. BLADES. Leave us, sir. We have matter of moment to discuss. SPICER (fearing the worst). His affection, Miss Livvy, is not so deep as mine. He is a light and shallow nature. PHOEBE. Pooh! You are both light and shallow natures. BLADES. Both, ma'am? (But he is not sure that he has not had a miraculous escape.) PHOEBE (severely). 'Tis such as you, with your foolish flirting ways, that confuse the minds of women and make us try to be as silly as yourselves. SPICER (crushed). Ma'am. PHOEBE. I did not mean to hurt you. (She takes a hand of each and tries to advise them as if her curls were once more hidden under a cap.) You are so like little boys in a school. Do be good. Sit here beside me. I know you are very brave-- BLADES. Ha! PHOEBE. And when you come back from the wars it must be so delightful to you to flirt with the ladies again. SPICER. Oh, ma'am. PHOEBE. As soon as you see a lady with a pretty nose you cannot help saying that you adore her. BLADES (in an ecstasy). Nay, I swear. PHOEBE. And you offer to her, not from love, but because you are so deficient in conversation. SPICER. Charming, Miss Livvy. PHOEBE (with sudden irritation). Oh, sir, go away; go away, both of you, and read improving books. (They are cast down. She has not been quite fair to these gallants, for it is not really of them she has grown weary so much as of the lady they temporarily adore. If MISS PHOEBE were to analyse her feelings she would find that her remark is addressed to LIVVY, and that it means, 'I have enjoyed for a little pretending to be you, but I am not you and I do not wish to be you. Your glitter and the airs of you and the racket of you tire me, I want to be done with you, and to be back in quiet Quality Street, of which I am a part; it is really pleasant to me to know that I shall wake up to-morrow slightly middle-aged.' With the entrance of CAPTAIN BROWN, however, she is at once a frivol again. He frowns at sight of her cavaliers.) VALENTINE. Gentlemen, I instructed this lady to rest, and I am surprised to find you in attendance. Miss Livvy, you must be weary of their fatuities, and I have taken the liberty to order your chaise. PHOEBE. It is indeed a liberty. BLADES. An outrage. PHOEBE. I prefer to remain. VALENTINE. Nay. PHOEBE. I promised this dance to Ensign Blades. SPICER. To me, ma'am. PHOEBE. And the following one to Lieutenant Spicer. Mr. Blades, your arm. VALENTINE. I forbid any further dancing. PHOEBE. Forbid. La! BLADES. Sir, by what right---- VALENTINE. By a right which I hope to make clear to Miss Livvy as soon as you gentlemen have retired. (PHOEBE sees that the declaration is coming. She steels herself.) PHOEBE. I am curious to know what Captain Brown can have to say to me. In a few minutes, Mr. Blades, Lieutenant Spicer, I shall be at your service. VALENTINE. I trust not. PHOEBE. I give them my word. (The young gentlemen retire, treading air once more. BROWN surveys her rather grimly.) VALENTINE. You are an amazing pretty girl, ma'am, but you are a shocking flirt. PHOEBE. La! VALENTINE. It has somewhat diverted me to watch them go down before you. But I know you have a kind heart, and that if there be a rapier in your one hand there is a handkerchief in the other ready to staunch their wounds. PHOEBE. I have not observed that they bled much. VALENTINE. The Blades and the like, no. But one may, perhaps. PHOEBE (obviously the reference is to himself). Perhaps I may wish to see him bleed. VALENTINE (grown stern). For shame, Miss Livvy. (Anger rises in her, but she wishes him to proceed.) I speak, ma'am, in the interests of the man to whom I hope to see you affianced. (No, she does not wish him to proceed. She had esteemed him for so long, she cannot have him debase himself before her now.) PHOEBE. Shall we--I have changed my mind, I consent to go home. Please to say nothing. VALENTINE. Nay---- PHOEBE. I beg you. VALENTINE. No. We must have it out. PHOEBE. Then if you must go on, do so. But remember I begged you to desist. Who is this happy man? (His next words are a great shock to her.) VALENTINE. As to who he is, ma'am, of course I have no notion. Nor, I am sure, have you, else you would be more guarded in your conduct. But some day, Miss Livvy, the right man will come. Not to be able to tell him all, would it not be hard? And how could you acquaint him with this poor sport? His face would change, ma'am, as you told him of it, and yours would be a false face until it was told. This is what I have been so desirous to say to you--by the right of a friend. PHOEBE (in a low voice but bravely). I see. VALENTINE (afraid that he has hurt her). It has been hard to say and I have done it bunglingly. Ah, but believe me, Miss Livvy, it is not the flaunting flower men love; it is the modest violet. PHOEBE. The modest violet! You dare to say that. VALENTINE. Yes, indeed, and when you are acquaint with what love really is---- PHOEBE. Love! What do you know of love? VALENTINE (a little complacently). Why, ma'am, I know all about it. I am in love, Miss Livvy. PHOEBE (with a disdainful inclination of the head). I wish you happy. VALENTINE. With a lady who was once very like you, ma'am. (At first PHOEBE does not understand, then a suspicion of his meaning comes to her.) PHOEBE. Not--not--oh no. VALENTINE. I had not meant to speak of it, but why should not I? It will be a fine lesson to you, Miss Livvy. Ma'am, it is your Aunt Phoebe whom I love. PHOEBE (rigid). You do not mean that. VALENTINE. Most ardently. PHOEBE. It is not true; how dare you make sport of her. VALENTINE. Is it sport to wish she may be my wife? PHOEBE. Your wife! VALENTINE. If I could win her. PHOEBE (bewildered). May I solicit, sir, for how long you have been attached to Miss Phoebe? VALENTINE. For nine years, I think. PHOEBE. You think! VALENTINE. I want to be honest. Never in all that time had I thought myself in love. Your aunts were my dear friends, and while I was at the wars we sometimes wrote to each other, but they were only friendly letters. I presume the affection was too placid to be love. PHOEBE. I think that would be Aunt Phoebe's opinion. VALENTINE. Yet I remember, before we went into action for the first time--I suppose the fear of death was upon me--some of them were making their wills--I have no near relative--I left everything to these two ladies. PHOEBE (softly). Did you? (What is it that MISS PHOEBE begins to see as she sits there so quietly, with her hands pressed together as if upon some treasure? It is PHOEBE of the ringlets with the stain taken out of her.) VALENTINE. And when I returned a week ago and saw Miss Phoebe, grown so tired-looking and so poor---- PHOEBE. The shock made you feel old, I know. VALENTINE. No, Miss Livvy, but it filled me with a sudden passionate regret that I had not gone down in that first engagement. They would have been very comfortably left. PHOEBE. Oh, sir! VALENTINE. I am not calling it love. PHOEBE. It was sweet and kind, but it was not love. VALENTINE. It is love now. PHOEBE. No, it is only pity. VALENTINE. It is love. PHOEBE (she smiles tremulously). You really mean Phoebe--tired, unattractive Phoebe, that woman whose girlhood is gone. Nay, impossible. VALENTINE (stoutly). Phoebe of the fascinating playful ways, whose ringlets were once as pretty as yours, ma'am. I have visited her in her home several times this week--you were always out--I thank you for that! I was alone with her, and with fragrant memories of her. PHOEBE. Memories! Yes, that is the Phoebe you love, the bright girl of the past--not the schoolmistress in her old-maid's cap. VALENTINE. There you wrong me, for I have discovered for myself that the schoolmistress in her old-maid's cap is the noblest Miss Phoebe of them all. (If only he would go away, and let MISS PHOEBE cry.) When I enlisted, I remember I compared her to a garden. I have often thought of that. PHOEBE. 'Tis an old garden now. VALENTINE. The paths, ma'am, are better shaded. PHOEBE. The flowers have grown old-fashioned. VALENTINE. They smell the sweeter. Miss Livvy, do you think there is any hope for me? PHOEBE. There was a man whom Miss Phoebe loved--long ago. He did not love her. VALENTINE. Now here was a fool! PHOEBE. He kissed her once. VALENTINE. If Miss Phoebe suffered him to do that she thought he loved her. PHOEBE. Yes, yes. (She has to ask him the ten years old question.) Do you opinion that this makes her action in allowing it less reprehensible? It has been such a pain to her ever since. VALENTINE. How like Miss Phoebe! (Sternly.) But that man was a knave. PHOEBE. No, he was a good man--only a little--inconsiderate. She knows now that he has even forgotten that he did it. I suppose men are like that? VALENTINE. No, Miss Livvy, men are not like that. I am a very average man, but I thank God I am not like that. PHOEBE. It was you. VALENTINE (after a pause). Did Miss Phoebe say that? PHOEBE. Yes. VALENTINE. Then it is true. (He is very grave and quiet.) PHOEBE. It was raining and her face was wet. You said you did it because her face was wet. VALENTINE. I had quite forgotten. PHOEBE. But she remembers, and how often do you think the shameful memory has made her face wet since? The face you love, Captain Brown, you were the first to give it pain. The tired eyes--how much less tired they might be if they had never known you. You who are torturing me with every word, what have you done to Miss Phoebe? You who think you can bring back the bloom to that faded garden, and all the pretty airs and graces that fluttered round it once like little birds before the nest is torn down--bring them back to her if you can, sir; it was you who took them away. VALENTINE. I vow I shall do my best to bring them back. (MISS PHOEBE shakes her head.) Miss Livvy, with your help---- PHOEBE. My help! I have not helped. I tried to spoil it all. VALENTINE (smiling). To spoil it? You mean that you sought to flirt even with me. Ah, I knew you did. But that is nothing. PHOEBE. Oh, sir, if you could overlook it. VALENTINE. I do. PHOEBE. And forget these hateful balls. VALENTINE. Hateful! Nay, I shall never call them that. They have done me too great a service. It was at the balls that I fell in love with Miss Phoebe. PHOEBE. What can you mean? VALENTINE. She who was never at a ball! (Checking himself humorously.) But I must not tell you, it might hurt you. PHOEBE. Tell me. VALENTINE (gaily). Then on your own head be the blame. It is you who have made me love her, Miss Livvy. PHOEBE. Sir? VALENTINE. Yes, it is odd, and yet very simple. You who so resembled her as she was! for an hour, ma'am, you bewitched me; yes, I confess it, but 'twas only for an hour. How like, I cried at first, but soon it was, how unlike. There was almost nothing she would have said that you said; you did so much that she would have scorned to do. But I must not say these things to you! PHOEBE. I ask it of you, Captain Brown. VALENTINE. Well! Miss Phoebe's 'lady-likeness,' on which she set such store that I used to make merry of the word--I gradually perceived that it is a woman's most beautiful garment, and the casket which contains all the adorable qualities that go to the making of a perfect female. When Miss Livvy rolled her eyes--ah! (He stops apologetically.) PHOEBE. Proceed, sir. VALENTINE. It but made me the more complacent that never in her life had Miss Phoebe been guilty of the slightest deviation from the strictest propriety. (She shudders.) I was always conceiving her in your place. Oh, it was monstrous unfair to you. I stood looking at you, Miss Livvy, and seeing in my mind her and the pretty things she did, and you did not do; why, ma'am, that is how I fell in love with Miss Phoebe at the balls. PHOEBE. I thank you. VALENTINE. Ma'am, tell me, do you think there is any hope for me? PHOEBE. Hope! VALENTINE. I shall go to her. 'Miss Phoebe,' I will say--oh, ma'am, so reverently--'Miss Phoebe, my beautiful, most estimable of women, let me take care of you for ever more.' (MISS PHOEBE presses the words to her heart and then drops them.) PHOEBE. Beautiful. La, Aunt Phoebe! VALENTINE. Ah, ma'am, you may laugh at a rough soldier so much enamoured, but 'tis true. 'Marry me, Miss Phoebe,' I will say, 'and I will take you back through those years of hardships that have made your sweet eyes too patient. Instead of growing older you shall grow younger. We will travel back together to pick up the many little joys and pleasures you had to pass by when you trod that thorny path alone.' PHOEBE. Can't be--can't be. VALENTINE. Nay, Miss Phoebe has loved me. 'Tis you have said it. PHOEBE. I did not mean to tell you. VALENTINE. She will be my wife yet. PHOEBE. Never. VALENTINE. You are severe, Miss Livvy. But it is because you are partial to her, and I am happy of that. PHOEBE (in growing horror of herself). I partial to her! I am laughing at both of you. Miss Phoebe. La, that old thing. VALENTINE (sternly). Silence! PHOEBE. I hate her and despise her. If you knew what she is---- (He stops her with a gesture.) VALENTINE. I know what you are. PHOEBE. That paragon who has never been guilty of the slightest deviation from the strictest propriety. VALENTINE. Never. PHOEBE. That garden---- VALENTINE. Miss Livvy, for shame. PHOEBE. Your garden has been destroyed, sir; the weeds have entered it, and all the flowers are choked. VALENTINE. You false woman, what do you mean? PHOEBE. I will tell you. (But his confidence awes her.) What faith you have in her. VALENTINE. As in my God. Speak. PHOEBE. I cannot tell you. VALENTINE. No, you cannot. PHOEBE. It is too horrible. VALENTINE. You are too horrible. Is not that it? PHOEBE. Yes, that is it. (MISS SUSAN has entered and caught the last words.) MISS SUSAN (shrinking as from a coming blow). What is too horrible? VALENTINE. Ma'am, I leave the telling of it to her, if she dare. And I devoutly hope those are the last words I shall ever address to this lady. (He bows and goes out in dudgeon. MISS SUSAN believes all is discovered and that MISS PHOEBE is for ever shamed.) MISS SUSAN (taking PHOEBE in her arms). My love, my dear, what terrible thing has he said to you? PHOEBE (forgetting everything but that she is loved). Not terrible--glorious! Susan, 'tis Phoebe he loves, 'tis me, not Livvy! He loves me, he loves me! Me--Phoebe! (MISS SUSAN'S bosom swells. It is her great hour as much as PHOEBE'S.) End of Act III. ACT IV THE BLUE AND WHITE ROOM If we could shut our eyes to the two sisters sitting here in woe, this would be, to the male eye at least, the identical blue and white room of ten years ago; the same sun shining into it and playing familiarly with Miss Susan's treasures. But the ladies are changed. It is not merely that Miss Phoebe has again donned her schoolmistress's gown and hidden her curls under the cap. To see her thus once more, her real self, after the escapade of the ball, is not unpleasant, and the cap and gown do not ill become the quiet room. But she now turns guiltily from the sun that used to be her intimate, her face is drawn, her form condensed into the smallest space, and her hands lie trembling in her lap. It is disquieting to note that any life there is in the room comes not from her but from Miss Susan. If the house were to go on fire now it would be she who would have to carry out Miss Phoebe. Whatever of import has happened since the ball, Patty knows it, and is enjoying it. We see this as she ushers in Miss Willoughby. Note also, with concern, that at mention of the visitor's name the eyes of the sisters turn affrightedly, not to the door by which their old friend enters, but to the closed door of the spare bed-chamber. Patty also gives it a meaning glance; then the three look at each other, and two of them blanch. MISS WILLOUGHBY (the fourth to look at the door). I am just run across, Susan, to inquire how Miss Livvy does now. MISS SUSAN. She is still very poorly, Mary. MISS WILLOUGHBY. I am so unhappy of that. I conceive it to be a nervous disorder? MISS SUSAN (almost too glibly). Accompanied by trembling, flutterings, and spasms. MISS WILLOUGHBY. The excitements of the ball. You have summoned the apothecary at last, I trust, Phoebe? (MISS PHOEBE, once so ready of defence, can say nothing.) MISS SUSAN (to the rescue). It is Livvy's own wish that he should not be consulted. Miss WILLOUGHBY (looking longingly at the door). May I go in to see her? MISS SUSAN. I fear not, Mary. She is almost asleep, and it is best not to disturb her. (Peeping into the bedroom.) Lie quite still, Livvy, my love, quite still. (Somehow this makes PATTY smile so broadly that she finds it advisable to retire. MISS WILLOUGHBY sighs, and produces a small bowl from the folds of her cloak.) Miss WILLOUGHBY. This is a little arrowroot, of which I hope Miss Livvy will be so obliging as to partake. MISS SUSAN (taking the bowl). I thank you, Mary. PHOEBE (ashamed). Susan, we ought not---- MISS SUSAN (shameless). I will take it to her while it is still warm. (She goes into the bedroom. MISS WILLOUGHBY gazes at MISS PHOEBE, who certainly shrinks. It has not escaped the notice of the visitor that MISS PHOEBE has become the more timid of the sisters, and she has evolved an explanation.) MISS WILLOUGHBY. Phoebe, has Captain Brown been apprised of Miss Livvy's illness? PHOEBE (uncomfortably). I think not, Miss Willoughby. MISS WILLOUGHBY (sorry for PHOEBE, and speaking very kindly). Is this right, Phoebe? You informed Fanny and Henrietta at the ball of his partiality for Livvy. My dear, it is hard for you, but have you any right to keep them apart? PHOEBE (discovering only now what are the suspicions of her friends). Is that what you think I am doing, Miss Willoughby? MISS WILLOUGHBY. Such a mysterious illness. (Sweetly) Long ago, Phoebe, I once caused much unhappiness through foolish jealousy. That is why I venture to hope that you will not be as I was, my dear. PHOEBE. I jealous of Livvy! MISS WILLOUGHBY (with a sigh). I thought as little of the lady I refer to, but he thought otherwise. PHOEBE. Indeed, Miss Willoughby, you wrong me. (But MISS WILLOUGHBY does not entirely believe her, and there is a pause, so long a pause that unfortunately MISS SUSAN thinks she has left the house.) MISS SUSAN (peeping in). Is she gone? MISS WILLOUGHBY (hurt). No, Susan, but I am going. MISS SUSAN (distressed). Mary! (She follows her out, but MISS WILLOUGHBY will not be comforted, and there is a coldness between them for the rest of the day. MISS SUSAN is not so abashed as she ought to be. She returns, and partakes with avidity of the arrowroot.) MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, I am well aware that this is wrong of me, but Mary's arrowroot is so delicious. The ladies'-fingers and petticoat-tails those officers sent to Livvy, I ate them also! (Once on a time this would have amused MISS PHOEBE, but her sense of humour has gone. She is crying.) Phoebe, if you have such remorse you will weep yourself to death. PHOEBE. Oh, sister, were it not for you, how gladly would I go into a decline. MISS SUSAN (after she has soothed PHOEBE a little). My dear, what is to be done about her? We cannot have her supposed to be here for ever. PHOEBE. We had to pretend that she was ill to keep her out of sight; and now we cannot say she has gone away, for the Miss Willoughby's windows command our door, and they are always watching. MISS SUSAN (peeping from the window). I see Fanny watching now. I feel, Phoebe, as if Livvy really existed. PHOEBE (mournfully). We shall never be able to esteem ourselves again. MISS SUSAN (who has in her the makings of a desperate criminal). Phoebe, why not marry him? If only we could make him think that Livvy had gone home. Then he need never know. PHOEBE. Susan, you pain me. She who marries without telling all--hers must ever be a false face. They are his own words. (PATTY enters importantly.) PATTY. Captain Brown. PHOEBE (starting up). I wrote to him, begging him not to come. MISS SUSAN (quickly). Patty, I am sorry we are out. (But VALENTINE has entered in time to hear her words.) VALENTINE (not unmindful that this is the room in which he is esteemed a wit). I regret that they are out, Patty, but I will await their return. (The astonishing man sits on the ottoman beside MISS SUSAN, but politely ignores her presence.) It is not my wish to detain you, Patty. (PATTY goes reluctantly, and the sisters think how like him, and how delightful it would be if they were still the patterns of propriety he considers them.) PHOEBE (bravely). Captain Brown. VALENTINE (rising). You, Miss Phoebe. I hear Miss Livvy is indisposed? PHOEBE. She is--very poorly. VALENTINE. But it is not that unpleasant girl I have come to see, it is you. MISS SUSAN (meekly). How do you do? VALENTINE (ignoring her). And I am happy, Miss Phoebe, to find you alone. MISS SUSAN (appealingly). How do you do, sir? PHOEBE. You know quite well, sir, that Susan is here. VALENTINE. Nay, ma'am, excuse me. I heard Miss Susan say she was gone out. Miss Susan is incapable of prevarication. MISS SUSAN (rising--helpless). What am I to do? PHOEBE. Don't go, Susan--'tis what he wants. VALENTINE. I have her word that she is not present. MISS SUSAN. Oh dear. VALENTINE. My faith in Miss Susan is absolute. (At this she retires into the bedroom, and immediately his manner changes. He takes MISS PHOEBE'S hands into his own kind ones.) You coward, Miss Phoebe, to be afraid of Valentine Brown. PHOEBE. I wrote and begged you not to come. VALENTINE. You implied as a lover, Miss Phoebe, but surely always as a friend. PHOEBE. Oh yes, yes. VALENTINE. You told Miss Livvy that you loved me once. How carefully you hid it from me! PHOEBE (more firmly). A woman must never tell. You went away to the great battles. I was left to fight in a little one. Women have a flag to fly, Mr. Brown, as well as men, and old maids have a flag as well as women. I tried to keep mine flying. VALENTINE. But you ceased to care for me. (Tenderly.) I dare ask your love no more, but I still ask you to put yourself into my keeping. Miss Phoebe, let me take care of you. PHOEBE. It cannot be. VALENTINE. This weary teaching! Let me close your school. PHOEBE. Please, sir. VALENTINE. If not for your own sake, I ask you, Miss Phoebe, to do it for mine. In memory of the thoughtless recruit who went off laughing to the wars. They say ladies cannot quite forget the man who has used them ill; Miss Phoebe, do it for me because I used you ill. PHOEBE. I beg you--no more. VALENTINE (manfully). There, it is all ended. Miss Phoebe, here is my hand on it. PHOEBE. What will you do now? VALENTINE. I also must work. I will become a physician again, with some drab old housekeeper to neglect me and the house. Do you foresee the cobwebs gathering and gathering, Miss Phoebe? PHOEBE. Oh, sir! VALENTINE. You shall yet see me in Quality Street, wearing my stock all awry. PHOEBE. Oh, oh! VALENTINE. And with snuff upon my sleeve. PHOEBE. Sir, sir! VALENTINE. No skulker, ma'am, I hope, but gradually turning into a grumpy, crusty, bottle-nosed old bachelor. PHOEBE. Oh, Mr. Brown! VALENTINE. And all because you will not walk across the street with me. PHOEBE. Indeed, sir, you must marry--and I hope it may be some one who is really like a garden. VALENTINE. I know but one. That reminds me, Miss Phoebe, of something I had forgot. (He produces a paper from his pocket.) 'Tis a trifle I have wrote about you. But I fear to trouble you. (PHOEBE'S hands go out longingly for it.) PHOEBE (reading). 'Lines to a Certain Lady, who is Modestly unaware of her Resemblance to a Garden. Wrote by her servant, V. B.' (The beauty of this makes her falter. She looks up.) VALENTINE (with a poet's pride). There is more of it, ma'am. PHOEBE (reading) The lilies are her pretty thoughts, Her shoulders are the may, Her smiles are all forget-me-nots, The path 's her gracious way, The roses that do line it are Her fancies walking round, 'Tis sweetly smelling lavender In which my lady's gowned. (MISS PHOEBE has thought herself strong, but she is not able to read such exquisite lines without betraying herself to a lover's gaze.) VALENTINE (excitedly). Miss Phoebe, when did you cease to care for me? PHOEBE (retreating from him but clinging to her poem). You promised not to ask. VALENTINE. I know not why you should, Miss Phoebe, but I believe you love me still! (MISS PHOEBE has the terrified appearance of a detected felon.) (MISS SUSAN returns.) MISS SUSAN. You are talking so loudly. VALENTINE. Miss Susan, does she care for me still? MISS SUSAN (forgetting her pride of sex). Oh, sir, how could she help it. VALENTINE. Then by Gad, Miss Phoebe, you shall marry me though I have to carry you in my arms to the church. PHOEBE. Sir, how can you! (But MISS SUSAN gives her a look which means that it must be done if only to avoid such a scandal. It is at this inopportune moment that MISS HENRIETTA and MISS FANNY are announced.) MISS HENRIETTA. I think Miss Willoughby has already popped in. PHOEBE (with a little spirit). Yes, indeed. MISS SUSAN (a mistress of sarcasm). How is Mary, Fanny? She has not been to see us for several minutes. MISS FANNY (somewhat daunted). Mary is so partial to you, Susan. VALENTINE. Your servant, Miss Henrietta, Miss Fanny. MISS FANNY. How do you do, sir? MISS HENRIETTA (wistfully). And how do you find Miss Livvy, sir? VALENTINE. I have not seen her, Miss Henrietta. MISS HENRIETTA. Indeed! MISS FANNY. Not even you? VALENTINE. You seem surprised? MISS FANNY. Nay, sir, you must not say so; but really, Phoebe! PHOEBE. Fanny, you presume! VALENTINE (puzzled). If one of you ladies would deign to enlighten me. To begin with, what is Miss Livvy's malady? MISS HENRIETTA. He does not know? Oh, Phoebe. VALENTINE. Ladies, have pity on a dull man, and explain. MISS FANNY (timidly). Please not to ask us to explain. I fear we have already said more than was proper. Phoebe, forgive. (To CAPTAIN BROWN this but adds to the mystery, and he looks to PHOEBE for enlightenment.) PHOEBE (desperate). I understand, sir, there is a belief that I keep Livvy in confinement because of your passion for her. VALENTINE. My passion for Miss Livvy? Why, Miss Fanny, I cannot abide her--nor she me. (Looking manfully at MISS PHOEBE.) Furthermore, I am proud to tell you that this is the lady whom I adore. MISS FANNY. Phoebe? VALENTINE. Yes, ma'am. (The ladies are for a moment bereft of speech, and the uplifted PHOEBE cannot refrain from a movement which, if completed, would be a curtsy. Her punishment follows promptly.) MISS HENRIETTA (from her heart). Phoebe, I am so happy 'tis you. MISS FANNY. Dear Phoebe, I give you joy. And you also, sir. (MISS PHOEBE sends her sister a glance of unutterable woe, and escapes from the room. It is most ill-bred of her.) Miss Susan, I do not understand! MISS HENRIETTA. Is it that Miss Livvy is an obstacle? MISS SUSAN (who knows that there is no hope for her but in flight). I think I hear Phoebe calling me--a sudden indisposition. Pray excuse me, Henrietta. (She goes.) MISS HENRIETTA. We know not, sir, whether to offer you our felicitations? VALENTINE (cogitating). May I ask, ma'am, what you mean by an obstacle? Is there some mystery about Miss Livvy? MISS HENRIETTA. So much so, sir, that we at one time thought she and Miss Phoebe were the same person. VALENTINE. Pshaw! MISS FANNY. Why will they admit no physician into her presence? MISS HENRIETTA. The blinds of her room are kept most artfully drawn. MISS FANNY (plaintively). We have never seen her, sir. Neither Miss Susan nor Miss Phoebe will present her to us. VALENTINE (impressed). Indeed. (MISS HENRIETTA and MISS FANNY, encouraged by his sympathy, draw nearer the door of the interesting bedchamber. They falter. Any one who thinks, however, that they would so far forget themselves as to open the door and peep in, has no understanding of the ladies of Quality Street. They are, nevertheless, not perfect, for MISS HENRIETTA knocks on the door.) MISS HENRIETTA. How do you find yourself, dear Miss Livvy? (There is no answer. It is our pride to record that they come away without even touching the handle. They look appealing at CAPTAIN BROWN, whose face has grown grave.) VALENTINE. I think, ladies, as a physician-- (He walks into the bedroom. They feel an ignoble drawing to follow him, but do not yield to it. When he returns his face is inscrutable.) MISS HENRIETTA. Is she very poorly, sir? VALENTINE. Ha. MISS FANNY. We did not hear you address her. VALENTINE. She is not awake, ma'am. MISS HENRIETTA. It is provoking. MISS FANNY (sternly just). They informed Mary that she was nigh asleep. VALENTINE. It is not a serious illness I think, ma'am. With the permission of Miss Phoebe and Miss Susan I will make myself more acquaint with her disorder presently. (He is desirous to be alone.) But we must not talk lest we disturb her. MISS FANNY. You suggest our retiring, sir? VALENTINE. Nay, Miss Fanny---- MISS FANNY. You are very obliging; but I think, Henrietta---- MISS HENRIETTA (rising). Yes, Fanny. (No doubt they are the more ready to depart that they wish to inform MISS WILLOUGHBY at once of these strange doings. As they go, MISS SUSAN and MISS PHOEBE return, and the adieux are less elaborate than usual. Neither visitors nor hostesses quite know what to say. MISS SUSAN is merely relieved to see them leave, but MISS PHOEBE has read something in their manner that makes her uneasy.) PHOEBE. Why have they departed so hurriedly, sir? They--they did not go in to see Livvy? VALENTINE. No. (She reads danger in his face.) PHOEBE. Why do you look at me so strangely? VALENTINE (somewhat stern). Miss Phoebe, I desire to see Miss Livvy. PHOEBE. Impossible. VALENTINE. Why impossible? They tell me strange stories about no one's seeing her. Miss Phoebe, I will not leave this house until I have seen her. PHOEBE. You cannot. (But he is very determined, and she is afraid of him.) Will you excuse me, sir, while I talk with Susan behind the door? (The sisters go guiltily into the bedroom, and CAPTAIN BROWN after some hesitation rings for PATTY.) VALENTINE. Patty, come here. Why is this trick being played upon me? PATTY (with all her wits about her). Trick, sir! Who would dare? VALENTINE. I know, Patty, that Miss Phoebe has been Miss Livvy all the time. PATTY. I give in! VALENTINE. Why has she done this? PATTY (beseechingly). Are you laughing, sir? VALENTINE. I am very far from laughing. PATTY (turning on him). 'Twas you that began it, all by not knowing her in the white gown. VALENTINE. Why has this deception been kept up so long? PATTY. Because you would not see through it. Oh, the wicked denseness. She thought you were infatuate with Miss Livvy because she was young and silly. VALENTINE. It is infamous. PATTY. I will not have you call her names. 'Twas all playful innocence at first, and now she is so feared of you she is weeping her soul to death, and all I do I cannot rouse her. 'I ha' a follower in the kitchen, ma'am,' says I, to infuriate her. 'Give him a glass of cowslip wine,' says she, like a gentle lamb. And ill she can afford it, you having lost their money for them. VALENTINE. What is that? On the contrary, all the money they have, Patty, they owe to my having invested it for them. PATTY. That is the money they lost. VALENTINE. You are sure of that? PATTY. I can swear to it. VALENTINE. Deceived me about that also. Good God; but why? PATTY. I think she was feared you would offer to her out of pity. She said something to Miss Susan about keeping a flag flying. What she meant I know not. (But he knows, and he turns away his face.) Are you laughing, sir? VALENTINE. No, Patty, I am not laughing. Why do they not say Miss Livvy has gone home? It would save them a world of trouble. PATTY. The Misses Willoughby and Miss Henrietta--they watch the house all day. They would say she cannot be gone, for we did not see her go. VALENTINE (enlightened at last). I see! PATTY. And Miss Phoebe and Miss Susan wring their hands, for they are feared Miss Livvy is bedridden here for all time. (Now his sense of humour asserts itself). Thank the Lord, you 're laughing! (At this he laughs the more, and it is a gay CAPTAIN BROWN on whom MISS SUSAN opens the bedroom door. This desperate woman is too full of plot to note the change in him.) MISS SUSAN. I am happy to inform you, sir, that Livvy finds herself much improved. VALENTINE (bolting). It is joy to me to hear it. MISS SUSAN. She is coming in to see you. PATTY (aghast). Oh, ma'am! VALENTINE (frowning on PATTY). I shall be happy to see the poor invalid. PATTY. Ma'am----! (But MISS SUSAN, believing that so far all is well, has returned to the bedchamber. CAPTAIN BROWN bestows a quizzical glance upon the maid.) VALENTINE. Go away, Patty. Anon I may claim a service of you, but for the present, go. PATTY. But--but---- VALENTINE. Retire, woman. (She has to go, and he prepares his face for the reception of the invalid. PHOEBE comes in without her cap, the ringlets showing again. She wears a dressing jacket and is supported by MISS SUSAN.) VALENTINE (gravely). Your servant, Miss Livvy. PHOEBE (weakly). How do you do? VALENTINE. Allow me, Miss Susan. (He takes MISS SUSAN'S place; but after an exquisite moment MISS PHOEBE breaks away from him, feeling that she is not worthy of such bliss.) PHOEBE. No, no, I--I can walk alone--see. (She reclines upon the couch.) MISS SUSAN. How do you think she is looking? (He makes a professional examination of the patient, and they are very ashamed to deceive him, but not so ashamed that they must confess.) What do you think? VALENTINE (solemnly). She will recover. May I say, ma'am, it surprises me that any one should see much resemblance between you and your Aunt Phoebe. Miss Phoebe is decidedly shorter and more thick-set. PHOEBE (sitting up). No, I am not. VALENTINE. I said Miss Phoebe, ma'am. (She reclines.) But tell me, is not Miss Phoebe to join us? PHOEBE. She hopes you will excuse her, sir. MISS SUSAN (vaguely). Taking the opportunity of airing the room. VALENTINE. Ah, of course. MISS SUSAN (opening bedroom door and catting mendaciously). Captain Brown will excuse you, Phoebe. VALENTINE. Certainly, Miss Susan. Well, ma'am, I think I could cure Miss Livvy if she is put unreservedly into my hands. MISS SUSAN (with a sigh). I am sure you could. VALENTINE. Then you are my patient, Miss Livvy. PHOEBE (nervously). 'Twas but a passing indisposition, I am almost quite recovered. VALENTINE. Nay, you still require attention. Do you propose making a long stay in Quality Street, ma'am? PHOEBE. I--I--I hope not. It--it depends. MISS SUSAN (forgetting herself). Mary is the worst. VALENTINE. I ask your pardon? PHOEBE. Aunt Susan, you are excited. VALENTINE. But you are quite right, Miss Livvy; home is the place for you. PHOEBE. Would that I could go! VALENTINE. You are going. PHOEBE. Yes--soon. VALENTINE. Indeed, I have a delightful surprise for you, Miss Livvy, you are going to-day. PHOEBE. To-day? VALENTINE. Not merely to-day, but now. As it happens, my carriage is standing idle at your door, and I am to take you in it to your home--some twenty miles if I remember. PHOEBE. You are to take me? VALENTINE. Nay, 'tis no trouble at all, and as your physician my mind is made up. Some wraps for her, Miss Susan. MISS SUSAN. But--but---- PHOEBE (in a panic). Sir, I decline to go. VALENTINE. Come, Miss Livvy, you are in my hands. PHOEBE. I decline. I am most determined. VALENTINE. You admit yourself that you are recovered. PHOEBE. I do not feel so well now. Aunt Susan! MISS SUSAN. Sir---- VALENTINE. If you wish to consult Miss Phoebe---- MISS SUSAN. Oh, no. VALENTINE. Then the wraps, Miss Susan. PHOEBE. Auntie, don't leave me. VALENTINE. What a refractory patient it is. But reason with her, Miss Susan, and I shall ask Miss Phoebe for some wraps. PHOEBE. Sir! (To their consternation he goes cheerily into the bedroom. MISS PHOEBE saves herself by instant flight, and nothing but mesmeric influence keeps MISS SUSAN rooted to the blue and white room. When he returns he is loaded with wraps, and still cheerfully animated, as if he had found nothing untoward in LIVVY'S bedchamber.) VALENTINE. I think these will do admirably, Miss Susan. MISS SUSAN. But Phoebe---- VALENTINE. If I swathe Miss Livvy in these---- MISS SUSAN. Phoebe---- VALENTINE. She is still busy airing the room. (The extraordinary man goes to the couch as if unable to perceive that its late occupant has gone, and MISS SUSAN watches him, fascinated.) Come, Miss Livvy, put these over you. Allow me--this one over your shoulders, so. Be so obliging as to lean on me. Be brave, ma'am, you cannot fall--my arm is round you; gently, gently, Miss Livvy; ah, that is better; we are doing famously; come, come. Good-bye, Miss Susan, I will take every care of her. (He has gone, with the bundle on his arm, but MISS SUSAN does not wake up. Even the banging of the outer door is unable to rouse her. It is heard, however, by MISS PHOEBE, who steals back into the room, her cap upon her head to give her courage.) PHOEBE. He is gone! (MISS SUSAN'S rapt face alarms her.) Oh, Susan, was he as dreadful as that? MISS SUSAN (in tones unnatural to her). Phoebe, he knows all. PHOEBE. Yes, of course he knows all now. Sister, did his face change? Oh, Susan, what did he say? MISS SUSAN. He said 'Good-bye, Miss Susan.' That was almost all he said. PHOEBE. Did his eyes flash fire? MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, it was what he did. He--he took Livvy with him. PHOEBE. Susan, dear, don't say that. You are not distraught, are you? MISS SUSAN (clinging to facts). He did; he wrapped her up in a shawl. PHOEBE. Susan! You are Susan Throssel, my love. You remember me, don't you? Phoebe, your sister. I was Livvy also, you know, Livvy. MISS SUSAN. He took Livvy with him. PHOEBE (in woe). Oh, oh! sister, who am I? MISS SUSAN. You are Phoebe. PHOEBE. And who was Livvy? MISS SUSAN. You were. PHOEBE. Thank heaven. MISS SUSAN. But he took her away in the carriage. PHOEBE. Oh, dear! (She has quite forgotten her own troubles now.) Susan, you will soon be well again. Dear, let us occupy our minds. Shall we draw up the advertisement for the reopening of the school? MISS SUSAN. I do so hate the school. PHOEBE. Come, dear, come, sit down. Write, Susan. (Dictating.) 'The Misses Throssel have the pleasure to announce----' MISS SUSAN. Pleasure! Oh, Phoebe. PHOEBE. 'That they will resume school on the 5th of next month. Music, embroidery, the backboard, and all the elegancies of the mind. Latin--shall we say algebra?' MISS SUSAN. I refuse to write algebra. PHOEBE. --for beginners. MISS SUSAN. I refuse. There is only one thing I can write; it writes itself in my head all day. 'Miss Susan Throssel presents her compliments to the Misses Willoughby and Miss Henrietta Turnbull, and requests the honour of their presence at the nuptials of her sister Phoebe and Captain Valentine Brown.' PHOEBE. Susan! MISS SUSAN. Phoebe! (A door is heard banging.) He has returned! PHOEBE. Oh cruel, cruel. Susan, I am so alarmed. MISS SUSAN. I will face him. PHOEBE. Nay, if it must be, I will. (But when he enters he is not very terrible.) VALENTINE. Miss Phoebe, it is not raining, but your face is wet. I wish always to kiss you when your face is wet. PHOEBE. Susan! VALENTINE. Miss Livvy will never trouble you any more, Miss Susan. I have sent her home. MISS SUSAN. Oh, sir, how can you invent such a story for us. VALENTINE. I did not. I invented it for the Misses Willoughby and Miss Henrietta, who from their windows watched me put her into my carriage. Patty accompanies her, and in a few hours Patty will return alone. MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, he has got rid of Livvy! PHOEBE. Susan, his face hasn't changed! VALENTINE. Dear Phoebe Throssel, will you be Phoebe Brown? PHOEBE (quivering). You know everything? And that I am not a garden? VALENTINE. I know everything, ma'am--except that. PHOEBE (so very glad to be prim at the end). Sir, the dictates of my heart enjoin me to accept your too flattering offer. (He puts her cap in his pocket. He kisses her. MISS SUSAN is about to steal away.) Oh, sir, Susan also. (He kisses MISS SUSAN also; and here we bid them good-bye.) The End. Publication Date: August 6th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-bx.barrie

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Darke September Crashing To my dad for letting me be born. Let me ask you a question. Do you have a dad? If you answered with a yes, I'm jealous of you. My mom was 16 when she had me. She had me at age 16 because she was stupid. Maybe if I wasn't born, everything could have worked out. My mom and dad were happy before they had me. I wrecked everything they had. My dad only wanted a boy. He didn't want a cry baby girl to pop out of my mother's stomache. I was told he was out walking when I was born. When he walked back in to see my mom holding a pink blanket, he cursed. When I was three my mom told what my dad said to me. His words were, go to hell and die. He raced out of the hospital, and got onto his bike, and raced away. So, we all know what happens to speeders, right? A ticket? Yes, but something was in store for my dad that was a lot worse. Looks as if karma got the best of him. he was speeding to fast, and ran a red light. At that point, a truck driver was not ready for him, and hit him. My dad died instantly from the impact. Now I fell all nasty, because I/m glad my dad died. He left my mom because I was a girl. He didn't deserve my mom's love. The only thing that came out of this day was my sister. My twin. She was also a girl. Oh how I loved her the moment My eyes set on her. I knew I had to portect her from the cruel world out there. So on February 21, 1997, Kenthrea and kendrea, were born. My name meant magicla water, and my sis ment golden sunlight. The family lived happily ever after......Well, I wish. Text: MY life not yours, so no copying. All rights reserved. Publication Date: August 3rd 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-darkmatter

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Denia Nevarez Delilah & Carlos 4 years ago... I walked out of school, with my school picture with in hand. Going to carlos. God i loved that boy so much. 3 years of back and fourth torture and look at us. I run up to him and hug him. He stiffens and i know immidietly whats wrong. "Whats up" i tell him "we needa talk" it was my turn to stiffen. We just got back together yesturday. "break up?" i say quickly. "what?" he says. shit. "nothing, go on" i say. Hopeful for a sec. "we needa break up" i knew it. "k. but this is the last time im doing this back and forth shit carlos." i say. "ok" is his answer. i shook the tears ive cried to many times for this boy. He is not the carlos i first met. He's changed. "friends?" he breaks me out of my thoughts. "oh how many times ive heard that one but yeah sure friends" i snapped. "okay." he turns away "carlos" i call out "yea?" he says. Hes quiet. "why?" i said quietly. i can feel the stares. "is it because of her" i say. My best friends. Hes been trying to go for her for a while but i thought he gave up... "im sorry" he says softly. "my best friend. That low? My best friend. k." i say and walk off. I hear him call out but i walk straight to alley. My boo. Shes not my best friend. But she hell is a sister to me. I told her me and carlos broke up. "You okay?" she says "yea" i say. Everybodys stares arnt helping. Theyve known about me and carlos. We were the couple every one knew about. We were a very dramtic and emotional roller coaster. And everyone has seen or heard of it. And they loved it.. They loved drama and i hated thats what they looked at mine and carloss relationship as, but i couldnt blame em. "dont lie to me." she says "i am. im used to it" i snap. "kay" she says quietly "im sorry" i wait for the bus. i feel alleys and jackies arms wrap around me. i dont know who to be mad at carlos or my best friend, lizzette. but its not her fault she doesnt even like him, she has a boyfriend that shes completely in love with, ad i had mine. HAD. The bus gets here, and alley gets on with me, she sits next to me, but i stare out the window. I felt my self slipping. Yet i couldnt cry. I couldnt.  Ive cried so many damn times. My dignity isnt fully taken away. He's cheated on me. Hit me. Ruined me. And i honestly have no idea how to feel right now, all the shit ive sacrificed for carlos. I feel stupid and dumb. As fuckiing usual. I felt the tear come down. And i knew i was done for. One tear delilah no more.. no more. The bus came to a stop and i walk home. I feel numb. I love the feeling of numb. I need a blunt. I get on the phone and call jacky and alley. They answer and i sob i cry like nothing before. "im done. im so sick of his shit." i say crying " i know lilah, i know" they both say. "Last time, im so done guys. im tired, im drained emotionally nd physically hes destroyed me. and im sick of it." i say "tell us everything, about him, everything. from the whole relation ship from the beggining to the end" they say well shit. okay. How it began   I was 13 when i first met him. I didnt speak to him, i was young. I was talking to Julissa and she introduced me to him. A curly haired boy, with huge hazel eyes. He had a gap in between his tooth and a wide smile, a crooked one. He was a few inches taller than me. My head fell right in his chest. He was my first real boyfriend. When i met him my 7th grade year we did nothing. We were just friends. He was sweet and funny and i know he liked me. But i payed no attention to it cuz i didnt see him like that, i loved the attention he gave me. He was sweet, funny, everything i could imagine, but i wanted to be friends. We dated twice that year but nothing happened. We saw each other at the park. And like that nothing. He knew everything about me, and i him. Bu he was nothing just a boy. He seemed perfect. He had his flaws. Exithma. he had asthma too, but as did i. People called him grandpa hands cuz his hands were rough, but i loved that aout him, his exithma never bothered me, but people were assholes. That year was the carlos i knew the carlos, that i could see as my best friend. The carlos that did anything for me, never disrespected me. But he changed. It all changed. My feelings. My everything. i changed. just in 1 year....                 Short chapter sorry, but not much happened that year. sorry boring but true new year new me. (1 year later)   I honestly hate my hair color, as for that, my red hair came in. It matched my personality. Red doesnt look good on most girls, but surprisingly, i fell in love with it. Others surprised, but no one ever complained instead they called me crazy, and in return a big goofy smile. I was hanging with ,my ex xavier, but now honestly just a friend. Carlos has been changing. Ive noticed it and others have too. But i ddnt mind. He was still good old carlos to me. I walked in school and talked with carlos. "Hey whatsup" i ask him walking side to side "nothing" he says, putting his elboy on my shoulder "i havent seen you loser" i smile at him "oh yeah huh" he says. i roll my eyes. "roll your eyes again and watch" he says "watch what" i say innocently "do it and you'll see" he says smirking I back up and roll my eyes than make a run for it i hear the whistles of the teachers telling me to stop but i kept at it, and i can hear his foot steps an before i can react. 'THUNK'. "oww, dick" i say, im on the floor with a very heavy carlos on top smiling "shut up" he says, helping me up and pulling me into that very big bear hug of his. "ahh, carlos breath" i say dramatically. and he lets go. "goof" i say sticking my tongue out like a child. "You are not 14" he says "so immature" he says "Am not"i scoff than laugh The bell rings and we wave our good byes. "hey amora" i say to my short friend "helloooo, so im having a sleep over" she tells me "and your going" ishe says "sure i guees ill have to ask' i say "okay" she says I begin to walk away, and hug my boyfriend fabian, and behind me is carlos hugging his girl yaylin. And i feel a tug at my heart, i shake away. I let go and head to class, i start to think of the sleep over and remember. Carlos lives with amore. Shit. Sleep overr   I walk out the car, grabbing my bags and money. "Amora" i call out. And bam a dog barks through the gates scaring the shit outta me, i shreek, and carlos grabs the dog by the neck and pulls it back. "what the fuck?" i said Damian comes out trying to force me to get insidr or else he'll let go of lala. im guessing thats the dogs name. I flip him off and run inside. I hear laughs outside and i roll my eyes at it. "Amora?" i say "in here" a voice says. I follow it I am in her room, she smiles and tells me were going to the movies to watch Dark skies. The boys were supposed come   Publication Date: January 20th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-fi200bd15282f35

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-anton-pavlovich-chekhov-uncle-vanya/

Anton Pavlovich Chekhov Uncle Vanya Publication Date: September 4th 2009 https://www.bookrix.com/-librarian

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-arianna-baum-longing/

Arianna Baum Longing loving who you arent suppose to is hard to all my loved ones “Ian please think about what you’re doing!” Liz screamed as he neared the edge. Come to think of it I have no idea where we are! “I’m sorry Liz! I’ll always love you.” And with that he fell to his death. The sound of his body hitting the still water beneath me is revolting. To make matters worse I peek over the edge and am surprised to still be able to see his corpse floating a top of the water. I flinch as the once still water conquers up vast wave’s that knock into Ian repeatedly until his once warm body is violently tossed up against the immense rock just beneath the cliff. Oh god I think. Tears began to drip down my cheeks and into the water below. Sadness washes over me as I stand back up. It’s a few minutes later before I’m able to think again. What am I going to do? My best friend kills himself as I watch! I call the police. As I wait for them to fish his body out of the ocean I have time to think. What are they going to do? I’ve already gone through extensive questioning over and over again. What do they think? Did I kill him? I can’t even answer that question myself! If only I could have said yes! Why couldn’t i? I did love him, just not the way he wanted. Did he really kill himself over me? Oh god I was driving myself insane! I hear the sound of shouting. “We’ve got parts of him!” a man yells from farther down the coast. I’m going to be sick! And with that I start to heave. The vomit smells horrid. I start to slowly walk down the coast careful not to be in the same place as the men who found th-th-the pieces. The heaving starts again and the officer who questioned me drive’s me home. The second my head hits the pillow I’m gone. Somewhere deep in slumber. I try not to remember the past two days without. In which I am incapable. The dream starts with in the same hour he says those haunting words. The embrace is like a shock. Painful yet pleasing. “I love you!” he whisper’s in my ear. And with that I pull way. Not knowing what else to do I run. Faster and faster down the beach kicking sand up behind me. The faster I run the better I began to feel. I decide to look back and see he hasn’t moved from the spot where he held me in his arms. The expression on his face leaves me with a vile feeling as I see the tear trickle down the side of his face. I instantly began to feel rotten knowing I hurt him. My stomach churns as I see him slowly turn his back to me. The simple act brings tears to my eyes. I instantly try to think of something to reassure him anything at all but my mouth seems to have stopped working. Knowing now that running was the most childish thing I could have done there I slowly start to make my way back to him but it seems the faster I go the farther he seems to go. My legs feel like they’re made out of lead. He vanishes. Just like that once there and now gone. I look up at the cliff and see that he was there. I shout wordless things at him.im still screaming even as he hurdles himself off the rim and hit’s the water. This time I choose not to stand here and watch. I start to wade in deeper and deeper and I’m soon swimming. Pushing myself harder and faster with each stroke I take. Soon I reach the spot where he went under. I dive down searching looking around. Even though the salt in the water burns my eyes I push the pain aside and keep searching. His body is nowhere to be found. I recall the words from the man…earlier? We found pieces we found pieces we found pieces we found pieces. What if I found him like that? Soon I spot an object…floating or swimming towards me. Ian passes me. I look over him. Thank god he’s in one piece! The weirdest thing happens next. He says something to me that breaks my heart. “You killed me!” he says sounding heated. “NO!” I say. Feeling like the worst person I start to cry again. “You didn’t love me?” he says sounding like a question I decide not to respond having nothing else to say. I start to swim away. The agony I feel in my in my chest starts to throb. I feel like I’m running out of breath. I start to panic when I feel something wrap around my ankle. I look back to find Ian not there. The pull at my ankle drags me under. I open my eyes once fully under water. Looking around I see the faces of loved ones I’ve lost. My parents, my grandmother, Ian. The faces of the dead surround me as I drift farther down. The twinge I began to feel in my lungs reminds me of my need to breathe. I kick free of the hold on my ankle and push through the faces of the dead. The time my head surfaces a large wave takes me back under. The same thing happens as I continue to try to breathe. I began to feel the pull on my ankle. In the heist of all the panic I’m thrown against the large rocks again and again. I began to drift in thought as I sink farther down. Thinking of all the faces I saw remembering each last moment I’ve had with them. The fire, oh god the fire. My parents already in body bags when I return home. I can’t think about that know as I fight for my life. I decide to not think anymore. I’ve run out of strength all the adrenaline gone. I decide to just fade away. I awake in the middle of the night. My pillows soaked with tears I cried at night. My heart still racing from the nightmare. I stand up and walk to the bathroom down the hallway. The floor creaked as I tip toed across it trying not to wake Jessica my roommate. Once in the bathroom I turn then close and locked it. The sink in the bathroom seemed too loud when I turned it on. Ooh well I think as I splash water against my face trying to clear away any signs of the tears. The knock on the door had me nearly jump out of my skin. “What?” I ask. My voice sounding tired. “Sorry just checking to see if you’re alright.” She says sounding sad. She had known Ian to, not as well as I did but they were close. I could tell by her voice she had been crying. I still couldn’t tell if she blamed me for his death or not. I was too afraid that the answer would be yes if I asked. “I’m fine.” I say in response. I leave the bathroom in a hurry hoping she didn’t see my speedy escape. Once I’m back in my room I check to see how wet the pillow was and decide it’s useless so I toss it to the corner of my room telling myself I’ll clean it tomorrow. I lie back down and close my eyes hoping to not have another dream like the last one. By now it’s almost impossible to fall back into sleep. I roll over and check my alarm clock. Three thirty-seven. Three an another half hours sleep and I need to go to work. Working an old bar isn’t as fun as it sounds. No wait it doesn’t even sound fun, me and… Ian used to have the same shift so the pain was dulled as we worked fourteen hours daily working from eight in the morning till ten at night was exhausting. Just thinking about it made me regret the coming hours. The buzzing wouldn’t stop. I peeled my eyes open one at a time. Alarm clock. I rolled over trying to swat at it. Finally I stood up and turned it off. That can’t be right! The digital numbers read eight twenty-two! Crap I’m going to be so late. I ran to the bathroom and turned my straightener on. Washing my face and brushing my teeth at the same time to speed up the process. The straightener started to smoke as I ran it through my hair. Mascara was the last step besides clothes. Brushing over my already dark lashes making them seems so long. I grabbed some clothes and ran out the door. Running into the old musty bar was the last thing I wished to especially since there were signs of Ian everywhere. His image haunting me everywhere I go. “There she is!” Marcy exclaimed sounding so relieved. “You owe me.” She whispered as she walked by me and out the front door. And my shift began. Men asking for drinks, women complaining and talking about their problems. Ughh would never end? My night perked up as a striking young man walked in and sat down right across from me. “Scotch on the rocks.” He said in his rich voice. “Alrighty.” I say perking up because my shift Is almost over. Last one! “…and your number please.” He says from across the counter eyeing me like im some sort of candy. A blonde lady from across the bar spots him and comes to make her move. “Hey sweet thang, what can I buy you?” she says in her fake southern accent. I scoff at her attempt to get his attention when he clearly doesn’t want her company. I wait to her what his response will be. “Actually I’m waiting for someone.” He says with displeasure in his voice. “Really?” the blonde asked like she didn’t believe him. “Yes now if you could be so kind as to move!” he practically yells at her. The blonde gets up and almost runs back to her friends who were hysterical by now. I laugh quietly to myself. “Where’s my drink?” he asked using the same annoying tone. I shot him a dirty look and gazed at the clock. I shot him a devilish smile and told him where to stick it! Shift was over and I was free to drink! “Hey!” he bellowed at me as I walked away with a drink in my hand. He got up from where he was at and grabbed hold of my shoulder. “I’m off the clock.” I tell him as I try to walk away. But he just won’t let go! So turn around and kick him where I know it’ll hurt. He stumbles back in shock that I would do such a thing. I start to walk away again and make it out of the club before he and his buddy’s ambush me in an alley way behind the bar. Still with the drink in my hand I’m backed up against one of the grungy walls. The place reek’s almost as bad as the man’s breathe who thinks he can play with the end of my shirt. I let the drink fly as his filthy hand work their way up my back. Another man walks into the alley. Great I think another to put me out of my misery. “Hey lowlifes can’t you get any willingly?” the new guy asks. “Back off parker she’s already pissed us off.” The one with the horrid breathe says. And in the blink of an eye the fight begins. Parker is surprisingly a good fighter as well as attractive. Tall, dark and handsome! His bright green eyes are visible from half way down the alley. His dark brown hair barley long enough to reach his eyes but the way he pushes them out of the way is adorable. His hair is short but he is well muscled. His shirt looks too tight spread out across his chest. A thug slams against the wall next to me. The only man left is the one holding me against the wall. Watching all this fighting has got me well feeling like I could probably kick this one’s ass and so I try. I try to turn around as he grab’s me and pulls me to him lips puckered. I decide to give some. I bang my forehead hard against his nose and the crunching sound that sends shivers up my spine. I look at the damage I’ve done and I’m repulsed by the way his defiantly broken nose flops back and forth and he tries to get a better hold on me. The man tries to help me. But I yell at him to stop. “Are you sure?” he asks. “Yes!” I yell at him. I shove hard against the thug still pinning me against the wall I draw my foot back and lets it fly to his destination. I put all of my strength into this one kick. That one really did a number on him though I got enough room to wriggle free. I was about to run when I decided I hadn’t put him through enough torture yet. I turned around and let my right hook fly only to have it caught by the mysterious stranger. “Let’s go!” he stage whispered in my ear. I start to run but only to feel the alcohol I had drank earlier against employee protocol but you know I couldn’t careless with one hand around my waist and another grabbing my legs. He carried me off into the night. I awoke to start off a shower. When I fully opened my eyes I realized I wasn’t home. And I was late for work again! I got up feeling groggy and looked down. I wasn’t even in my own clothes! It looked like an old t-shirt. I then started to look for all my stuff. I see my boots at the end of the bed and bend down to grab them. I feel hands on my hips and I nearly jump out of my skin! I turn around to see who it was and find it to be my savior from last night. And when I look over his body well…he’s only got on a towel. And that there makes my heart race a mile a minute. “Morning.” Is all he says as he goes through his draws picking clothes out. Ok then I Say nothing back as I start to head for the door. “Where do you think you’re going?” He asks actually surprised. “Home I have a life to get back to and I need to be at the police station!” I say. He raises an eyebrow at the police station thing but doesn’t question me. “I’ll drive you.” He says as he drops his towel. Oh my god. I feel my cheeks turning pink but I just can’t remove my eyes from his perfect body. I swear I’m going to start to drool! I’m finally able to look away as he slips on his boxers. I’m afraid he saw that so I try to avoid hi eyes. “Liz…I’m sorry.” He says suddenly. “For what?” I ask suspiciously. “We need to leave now.” Leave? Is he crazy if I avoid going to the police station I’ll be blamed for Ian’s death! And being a fugitive isn’t on my to-do list. “Are you crazy?” knowing I probably won’t believe anything that he’s going to say I still wait for a response. “A little. Buts that’s not the point. I brought you into something I shouldn’t have. You see I’ve been hired to protect you.” He admits. I’m in awe. I plan to tell him off but no words come out of my mouth. I don’t know really if this is a joke or what. He seems so serious… I’m broken off in thought by his shouting “There are people out there who want to kill you! Are you even listening to me!?” he calls from down the hallway. I hadn’t even noticed he’d moved. “yeah.” I say barely above a whisper. He tosses something at me and my reflex’s take over. I catch it before it smack’s me in the face. I look down at the object. It was a gun. “Do you know how to use that?” his voice muffled by the shirt he’s pulling over his head. I shake my head. “Of course. Are you ever going to say something?” he asks irritated by my silence. “Maybe.” I say. After that there was a loud crash in the other room. He casually walks into the other room. I hear gun shots and cussing. I turn to run but am surprised as the figure coming back into the room is parker. “Your shot?” it sounded like a question. He nods his he, picks me up and jumps out the second story window. We land on the ground with a thud. A burst of wind makes me shiver. Parker reaches back into his pack and hands me a jacket. As his arm goes back I see streaks of red on his shirt and before he can stop me I lift it up to just see a scrap. I let out a sigh of relief. “Got any big band aids?” I ask. That sends him to hysteria. “What?” I ask. He ignored me. “Let’s go.” There’s another crash inside the house. We race to his car. Once were on the road I shower him in questions that he really doesn’t answer. “What the hell?” I yell at him. “You’re very welcome.” He says sounding irritated again. “Who are they?” I say into my elbow as I sneeze. “They are the people who want you dead.” He says sounding smug. “Why do they want me dead?” I say with feeling. “Don’t know.” He shrugs. That was the end of our conversation. I should have said I loved you back. Then I wouldn’t be here I would be in the arms of someone who really did love me not in this car with a stranger. The thought of Ian brought back all the dreams and memories of him…good and bad. Tears wake me up. The wet stuff is all over my face and with the a/c on the cold air numbs my cheeks. We’ve been in the car for hours and by now the police are probably blaming his death on me! The thought of that makes me what to vomit. I couldn’t have possibly killed him! He was my friend. I remember just three days ago we were sitting on his couch watching movies I had rented at the nearest blockbuster. This whole thing just felt like a dream. How badly I really wished it were. The sound of the car pulling over made me open my eyes. We were parked at a hotel whose name I could read through all the tears in my eyes. I open my car door and stepped out into the cool night air. It felt good to be able to stand. I looked over at parker who looked like he had something to say but instead his eyes trailed over my body. Everywhere his eye look felt warm and tingly I couldn’t stop the next shudder. I smile at him and start to walk in then stopping to think isn’t it weird that were walking to a hotel without bags? He seems to have read my mind as he walks over to the trunk and removes to duffel bags. The lady at the counter takes one look at me asks what happen. “A friend recently died.” I say sadness leaking into my voice. “Ooh poor dear! Are you alright?” she asks like she’s ready to jump over the desk in case I collapse. “That’s why we’re here. I’m trying to get her away from all the memories. I don’t want her to go into a state of depression.” Parker says looking rather bored. The lady takes one look at him and grin’s. I know what she’s looking at. He looks beautiful the way his dark hair is tousled and his muscle bulging and his rosy lips. He’s a sight for sore eyes I’ll admit that. But the lady looks at me when she answers. “How lucky are you to have such kind and loving boyfriend?” she says with emphasis on the boyfriend part. “No see you’ve got it all wron…” I start to say but I’m interrupted by parker. “Yes she is now could we get a room?” he asks sounding like he’s getting irritated by the normal girl banter. “Yes. Would you like one or two rooms?” she asks kindly. I say two and parker says one and with the look he shot at me I shut my mouth. “One please.” He asks just as sweetly as she did almost mocking her. She looks at me and I have half the mind to say two again but I really just want to get out from under the check in ladies watchful gaze so I just nod and smile. She hands us a key without a word and goes back to whatever she was doing before we came along...which was probably nothing. “That could have went better.” He mumbles as we make our way towards the elevator. I nod my head in agreement wishing he could just leave me alone. Once inside the room I head straight for the shower. The hot water kneading the knots out of my back. I just sit there thinking about what’s going to happen when there’s a knock on the door. “I’m busy!” I yell at him. “Hurry up!” he shouts back through the door. Just for that I decide to take some extra time to condition my long dark hair. The second knock on the door sets me on edge but the third just pisses me off! Couldn’t I grieve for god sake? I mean I lost a friend and now the life that had taken me years to build after the fire. I slowly step out of the shower and onto the cold tile floor. Towels? i think as a cool breeze hits me. Were we’re the towels? I search through the bathroom only to figure out that I’m blind. I wrapped one around my head and the second one around my body taking the only towels I could find and exit the bathroom. He was standing right there. When I opened the bathroom door he was everywhere. I pushed him aside as I mutter bad things about him. Once he was in the bathroom I took my towels off and started to dig through the bags. Mine was the purple one, big surprise it was filled with clothes I would think twice about wearing. Putting on a matching set of bra and panties I began to shuffle farther down into the thing. I pass the naughty nighties and almost barged into the bathroom demanding what the hell was he planning! But no instead I ripped each one out of the bag and tossed them into the corner of the room. I searched for more appropriate attire. I found some decent looking women’s boxer shorts and tossed them on now on to a shirt. I look for tanks tops and came across a bag. It was filled with the necessity’s like tooth brush and razor’s. And something to go with the nighty piles, condoms I tossed them onto the nighties and kept searching. Aha jackpot! I found the hoodies section pulling my favorite one out of the pile I tossed it onto the next to the desk. Tank tops are harder to find than you’d think. I search through the entire bag and only find tees. Oooh well I think as I slip one on. I put the stuff I dug out back into the bag and toss the back on the floor. Keeping the bag I found out I had I went to bang on the door. That’s when I noticed it wasn’t even closed all the way! I am about to holler at him to get out when the shower turn off. I peek into the crack. Bad choice right before he steps out of the shower he says… “Need anything?” he asked sounding amused. The sound of his voice sends me skittering across the room and from there I yell… “Get out I’m not done yet!” did he see me or was he just checking up on me? The thought of being caught made my cheeks pink. As I stood up the door creaked and he walked out…butt naked. Shit! Now I almost regret taking both towels. This time I avert my eyes grab my bag and head for the bathroom. Once in there I turn and close the door. I pull the tooth brush and tooth paste out of my bag and began brushing. Once done with that I decide to run a brush through my hair. I head out of the bathroom and see he’s still not dressed. He looks at me and then the pile of nighties raising and eyebrow. “Would you mind putting on some clothes?” I ask my voice sounding stronger than I feel. “No I love watching that look on your face when you sneak a peek.” He says sound so cocky right now. That makes me sick I think as I crawl into bed. He slips on some boxers and crawls in next to me. I’m about to turn around and kick him out of the bed but what he says next has me stunned. “I’m so sorry for all of this.” He says as he brushes hair out of my eyes. Me too I think. When I wake I’m not surprised to see parker is gone. The dreams last night were almost as bad as the night before. I reply him jumping over and over again until it’s permanently burned into my brain. My pillow is wet. I hope it’s from tears. As I make my way down stairs into the ‘brunch’ area I see parker sitting. I decide I rather eat breakfast in my room and as I’m about to walk out I hear him calling my name repeatedly. “Liz! Liz! Come here where you are going?” He shouts from across the room. Not caring about the looks people are shooting him. I turn around and make my way towards the muffins. I make some coffee and snatch the last blueberry muffin and make my way to the table where he sit’s drinking his coffee. “Good morning!” he says all happy. It makes me want to smack the grin off his face. Yeah I think I would be if I took a swing at you. “Shut up this is still all your fault not matter how much you apologize for it…!” I shout in his face. I’m interrupted by the man sitting beside me at another table. “I’m glad you’re not like that.” He tells the woman across from him…thinking it’s his wife I turn around and tell him to mind his own damn business. He turns around and looks like he’s going to take a swing at me. Parker jumps up and almost knocking the table over in his haste. The man also stands I almost laugh at loud at the difference. Parker towers over the man also were his muscle bulge then man well I don’t even think you can qualify his as muscles. “Thanks.” I say before we reach our room. As he opens the door I see a figure stand. He’s tall by the looks of it. “There you are!” he says as he comes closer. And I almost burst into tears. I swear I’m hallucinating! I feel the twinge in my chest like in the dream and also start to heave! The question I ask is simple but no answer comes after. “Ian?” I ask sounding like a small child. Text: all my writting none of the pictures are mine. All rights reserved. Publication Date: August 26th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-blondebarbie

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Friedrich Schiller Demetrius ACT I. SCENE I. THE DIET AT CRACOW. On the rising of the curtain the Polish Diet is discovered, seated in the great senate hall. On a raised platform, elevated by three steps, and surmounted by a canopy, is the imperial throne, the escutcheons of Poland and Lithuania suspended on each side. The KING seated upon the throne; on his right and left hand his ten royal officers standing on the platform. Below the platform the BISHOPS, PALATINES, and CASTELLANS seated on each side of the stage. Opposite to these stand the Provincial DEPUTIES, in a double line, uncovered. All armed. The ARCHBISHOP OF GNESEN, as the primate of the kingdom, is seated next the proscenium; his chaplain behind him, bearing a golden cross. ARCHBISHOP OF GNESEN. Thus then hath this tempestuous Diet been Conducted safely to a prosperous close; And king and commons part as cordial friends. The nobles have consented to disarm, And straight disband the dangerous Rocoss [1]; Whilst our good king his sacred word has pledged, That every just complaint shall have redress. And now that all is peace at home, we may Look to the things that claim our care abroad. Is it the will of the most high Estates That Prince Demetrius, who hath advanced A claim to Russia's crown, as Ivan's son, Should at their bar appear, and in the face Of this august assembly prove his right? [1] An insurrectionary muster of the nobles. CASTELLAN OF CRACOW. Honor and justice both demand he should; It were unseemly to refuse his prayer. BISHOP OF WERMELAND. The documents on which he rests have been Examined, and are found authentic. We May give him audience. SEVERAL DEPUTIES. Nay! We must, we must! LEO SAPIEHA. To hear is to admit his right. ODOWALSKY. And not To hear is to reject his claims unheard. ARCHBISHOP OF GNESEN. Is it your will that he have audience? I ask it for the second time - and third. IMPERIAL CHANCELLOR. Let him stand forth before our throne! SENATORS. And speak! DEPUTIES. Yes, yes! Let him be heard! [The Imperial GRAND MARSHAL beckons with his baton to the doorkeeper, who goes out. LEO SAPIEHA (to the CHANCELLOR). Write down, my lord, That here I do protest against this step, And all that may ensue therefrom, to mar The peace of Poland's state and Moscow's crown. [Enters DEMETRIUS. Advances some steps towards the throne, and makes three bows with his head uncovered, first to the KING, next to the SENATORS, and then to the DEPUTIES, who all severally answer with an inclination of the head. He then takes up his position so as to keep within his eye a great portion of the assemblage, and yet not to turn his back upon the throne. ARCHBISHOP OF GNESEN. Prince Dmitri, son of Ivan! if the pomp Of this great Diet scare thee, or a sight So noble and majestic chain thy tongue, Thou may'st - for this the senate have allowed - Choose thee a proxy, wheresoe'er thou list, And do thy mission by another's lips. DEMETRIUS. My lord archbishop, I stand here to claim A kingdom, and the state of royalty. 'Twould ill beseem me should I quake before A noble people, and its king and senate. I ne'er have viewed a circle so august, But the sight swells my heart within my breast And not appals me. The more worthy ye, To me ye are more welcome; I can ne'er Address my claim to nobler auditory. ARCHBISHOP OF GNESEN. . . . . The august republic Is favorably bent. . . . . DEMETRIUS. Most puissant king! Most worthy and most potent Bishops and palatines, and my good lords, The deputies of the august republic! It gives me pause and wonder to behold Myself, Czar Ivan's son, now stand before The Polish people in their Diet here. Both realms were sundered by a bloody hate, And, whilst my father lived, no peace might be. Yet now hath Heaven so ordered these events, That I, his blood, who with my nurse's milk Imbibed the ancestral hate, appear before you A fugitive, compelled to seek my rights Even here in Poland's heart. Then, ere I speak, Forget magnanimously all rancors past, And that the Czar, whose son I own myself, Rolled war's red billows to your very homes. I stand before you, sirs, a prince despoiled. I ask protection. The oppressed may urge A sacred claim on every noble breast. And who in all earth's circuit shall be just, If not a people great and valiant, - one In plenitude of power so free, it needs To render 'count but to itself alone, And may, unchallenged, lend an open ear And aiding hand to fair humanity. ARCHBISHOP OF GNESEN. You do allege you are Czar Ivan's son; And truly, nor your bearing nor your speech Gainsays the lofty title that you urge, But shows us that you are indeed his son. And you shall find that the republic bears A generous spirit. She has never quailed To Russia in the field! She loves, alike, To be a noble foe - a cordial friend. DEMETRIUS. Ivan Wasilowitch, the mighty Czar Of Moscow, took five spouses to his bed, In the long years that spared him to the throne. The first, a lady of the heroic line Of Romanoff, bare him Feodor, who reigned After his father's death. One only son, Dmitri, the last blossom of his strength, And a mere infant when his father died, Was born of Marfa, of Nagori's line. Czar Feodor, a youth, alike effeminate In mind and body, left the reins of power To his chief equerry, Boris Godunow, Who ruled his master with most crafty skill. Feodor was childless, and his barren bride Denied all prospect of an heir. Thus, when The wily Boiar, by his fawning arts, Had coiled himself into the people's favor, His wishes soared as high as to the throne. Between him and his haughty hopes there stood A youthful prince, the young Demetrius Iwanowitsch, who with his mother lived At Uglitsch, where her widowhood was passed. Now, when his fatal purpose was matured, He sent to Uglitsch ruffians, charged to put The Czarowitsch to death. One night, when all was hushed, the castle's wing, Where the young prince, apart from all the rest, With his attendants lay, was found on fire. The raging flames ingulfed the pile; the prince Unseen, unheard, was spirited away, And all the world lamented him as dead. All Moscow knows these things to be the truth. ARCHBISHOP OF GNESEN. Yes, these are facts familiar to us all. The rumor ran abroad, both far and near, That Prince Demetrius perished in the flames When Uglitsch was destroyed. And, as his death Raised to the throne the Czar who fills it now, Fame did not hesitate to charge on him This murder foul and pitiless. But yet, His death is not the business now in hand! This prince is living still! He lives in you! So runs your plea. Now bring us to the proofs! Whereby do you attest that you are he? What are the signs by which you shall be known? How 'scaped you those were sent to hunt you down And now, when sixteen years are passed, and you Well nigh forgot, emerge to light once more? DEMETRIUS. 'Tis scarce a year since I have known myself; I lived a secret to myself till then, Surmising naught of my imperial birth. I was a monk with monks, close pent within The cloister's precincts, when I first began To waken to a consciousness of self. My impetuous spirit chafed against the bars, And the high blood of princes began to course In strange unbidden moods along my veins. At length I flung the monkish cowl aside, And fled to Poland, where the noble Prince Of Sendomir, the generous, the good, Took me as guest into his princely house, And trained me up to noble deeds of arms. ARCHBISHOP OF GNESEN. How? You still ignorant of what you were? Yet ran the rumor then on every side, That Prince Demetrius was still alive. Czar Boris trembled on his throne, and sent His sassafs to the frontiers, to keep Sharp watch on every traveller that stirred. Had not the tale its origin with you? Did you not give the rumor birth yourself? Had you not named to any that you were Demetrius? DEMETRIUS. I relate that which I know. If a report went forth I was alive, Then had some god been busy with the fame. Myself I knew not. In the prince's house, And in the throng of his retainers lost, I spent the pleasant springtime of my youth. In silent homage My heart was vowed to his most lovely daughter. Yet in those days it never dreamed to raise Its wildest thoughts to happiness so high. My passion gave offence to her betrothed, The Castellan of Lemberg. He with taunts Chafed me, and in the blindness of his rage Forgot himself so wholly as to strike me. Thus savagely provoked, I drew my sword; He, blind with fury, rushed upon the blade, And perished there by my unwitting hand. MEISCHEK. Yes, it was even so. DEMETRIUS. Mine was the worst mischance! A nameless youth, A Russian and a stranger, I had slain A grandee of the empire - in the house Of my kind patron done a deed of blood, And sent to death his son-in-law and friend. My innocence availed not; not the pity Of all his household, nor his kindness - his, The noble Palatine's, - could save my life; For it was forfeit to the law, that is, Though lenient to the Poles, to strangers stern. Judgment was passed on me - that judgment death. I knelt upon the scaffold, by the block; To the fell headsman's sword I bared my throat, And in the act disclosed a cross of gold, Studded with precious gems, which had been hung About my neck at the baptismal font. This sacred pledge of Christian redemption I had, as is the custom of my people, Worn on my neck concealed, where'er I went, From my first hours of infancy; and now, When from sweet life I was compelled to part, I grasped it as my only stay, and pressed it With passionate devotion to my lips. [The Poles intimate their sympathy by dumb show. The jewel was observed; its sheen and worth Awakened curiosity and wonder. They set me free, and questioned me; yet still I could not call to memory a time I had not worn the jewel on my person. Now it so happened that three Boiars who Had fled from the resentment of their Czar Were on a visit to my lord at Sambor. They saw the trinket, - recognized it by Nine emeralds alternately inlaid With amethysts, to be the very cross Which Ivan Westislowsky at the font Hung on the neck of the Czar's youngest son. They scrutinized me closer, and were struck To find me marked with one of nature's freaks, For my right arm is shorter than my left. Now, being closely plied with questions, I Bethought me of a little psalter which I carried from the cloister when I fled. Within this book were certain words in Greek Inscribed there by the Igumen himself. What they imported was unknown to me, Being ignorant of the language. Well, the psalter Was sent for, brought, and the inscription read. It bore that Brother Wasili Philaret (Such was my cloister-name), who owned the book, Was Prince Demetrius, Ivan's youngest son, By Andrei, an honest Diak, saved By stealth in that red night of massacre. Proofs of the fact lay carefully preserved Within two convents, which were pointed out. On this the Boiars at my feet fell down, Won by the force of these resistless proofs, And hailed me as the offspring of their Czar. So from the yawning gulfs of black despair Fate raised me up to fortune's topmost heights. And now the mists cleared off, and all at once Memories on memories started into life In the remotest background of the past. And like some city's spires that gleam afar In golden sunshine when naught else is seen, So in my soul two images grew bright, The loftiest sun-peaks in the shadowy past. I saw myself escaping one dark night, And a red lurid flame light up the gloom Of midnight darkness as I looked behind me A memory 'twas of very earliest youth, For what preceded or came after it In the long distance utterly was lost. In solitary brightness there it stood A ghastly beacon-light on memory's waste. Yet I remembered how, in later years, One of my comrades called me, in his wrath Son of the Czar. I took it as a jest, And with a blow avenged it at the time. All this now flashed like lightning on my soul, And told with dazzling certainty that I Was the Czar's son, so long reputed dead. With this one word the clouds that had perplexed My strange and troubled life were cleared away. Nor merely by these signs, for such deceive; But in my soul, in my proud, throbbing heart I felt within me coursed the blood of kings; And sooner will I drain it drop by drop Than bate one jot my title to the crown. ARCHBISHOP OF GNESEN. And shall we trust a scroll which might have found Its way by merest chance into your hands Backed by the tale of some poor renegades? Forgive me, noble youth! Your tone, I grant, And bearing, are not those of one who lies; Still you in this may be yourself deceived. Well may the heart be pardoned that beguiles Itself in playing for so high a stake. What hostage do you tender for your word? DEMETRIUS. I tender fifty, who will give their oaths, - All Piasts to a man, and free-born Poles Of spotless reputation, - each of whom Is ready to enforce what I have urged. There sits the noble Prince of Sendomir, And at his side the Castellan of Lublin; Let them declare if I have spoke the truth. ARCHBISHOP OF GNESEN. How seem these things to the august Estates? To the enforcement of such numerous proofs Doubt and mistrust, methinks, must needs give way. Long has a creeping rumor filled the world That Dmitri, Ivan's son, is still alive. The Czar himself confirms it by his fears. - Before us stands a youth, in age and mien Even to the very freak that nature played, The lost heir's counterpart, and of a soul Whose noble stamp keeps rank with his high claims. He left a cloister's precincts, urged by strange, Mysterious promptings; and this monk-trained boy Was straight distinguished for his knightly feats. He shows a trinket which the Czarowitsch Once wore, and one that never left his side; A written witness, too, by pious hands, Gives us assurance of his princely birth; And, stronger still, from his unvarnished speech And open brow truth makes his best appeal. Such traits as these deceit doth never don; It masks its subtle soul in vaunting words, And in the high-glossed ornaments of speech. No longer, then, can I withhold the title Which he with circumstance and justice claims And, in the exercise of my old right, I now, as primate, give him the first voice. ARCHBISHOP OF LEMBERG. My voice goes with the primate's. SEVERAL VOICES. So does mine. SEVERAL PALATINES. And mine! ODOWALSKY. And mine. DEPUTIES. And all! SAPIEHA. My gracious sirs! Weigh well ere you decide! Be not so hasty! It is not meet the council of the realm Be hurried on to - - ODOWALSKY. There is nothing here For us to weigh; all has been fully weighed. The proofs demonstrate incontestably. This is not Moscow, sirs! No despot here Keeps our free souls in manacles. Here truth May walk by day or night with brow erect. I will not think, my lords, in Cracow here, Here in the very Diet of the Poles, That Moscow's Czar should have obsequious slaves. DEMETRIUS. Oh, take my thanks, ye reverend senators! That ye have lent your credence to these proofs; And if I be indeed the man whom I Protest myself, oh, then, endure not this Audacious robber should usurp my seat, Or longer desecrate that sceptre which To me, as the true Czarowitsch, belongs. Yes, justice lies with me, - you have the power. 'Tis the most dear concern of every state And throne, that right should everywhere prevail, And all men in the world possess their own. For there, where justice holds uncumbered sway, There each enjoys his heritage secure, And over every house and every throne Law, truth, and order keep their angel watch. It is the key-stone of the world's wide arch, The one sustaining and sustained by all, Which, if it fail, brings all in ruin down. (Answers of SENATORS giving assent to DEMETRIUS.) DEMETRIUS. Oh, look on me, renowned Sigismund! Great king, on thine own bosom turn thine eyes. And in my destiny behold thine own. Thou, too, hast known the rude assaults of fate; Within a prison camest thou to the world; Thy earliest glances fell on dungeon walls. Thou, too, hadst need of friends to set thee free, And raise thee from a prison to a throne. These didst thou find. That noble kindness thou Didst reap from them, oh, testify to me. And you, ye grave and honored councillors, Most reverend bishops, pillars of the church, Ye palatines and castellans of fame, The moment has arrived, by one high deed, To reconcile two nations long estranged. Yours be the glorious boast, that Poland's power Hath given the Muscovites their Czar, and in The neighbor who oppressed you as a foe Secure an ever-grateful friend. And you, The deputies of the august republic, Saddle your steeds of fire! Leap to your seats! To you expand high fortune's golden gates; I will divide the foeman's spoil with you. Moscow is rich in plunder; measureless In gold and gems, the treasures of the Czar; I can give royal guerdons to my friends, And I will give them, too. When I, as Czar, Set foot within the Kremlin, then, I swear, The poorest of you all, that follows me, Shall robe himself in velvet and in sables; With costly pearls his housings shall he deck, And silver be the metal of least worth, That he shall shoe his horses' hoofs withal. [Great commotion among the DEPUTIES. KORELA, Hetman of the Cossacks, declares himself ready to put himself at the head of an army. ODOWALSKY. How! shall we leave the Cossack to despoil us At once of glory and of booty both? We've made a truce with Tartar and with Turk, And from the Swedish power have naught to fear. Our martial spirit has been wasting long In slothful peace; our swords are red with rust. Up! and invade the kingdom of the Czar, And win a grateful and true-hearted friend, Whilst we augment our country's might and glory. MANY DEPUTIES. War! War with Moscow! OTHERS. Be it so resolved! On to the votes at once! SAPIEHA (rises). Grand marshal, please To order silence! I desire to speak. A CROWD OF VOICES. War! War with Moscow! SAPIEHA. Nay, I will be heard. Ho, marshal, do your duty! [Great tumult within and outside the hall. GRAND MARSHAL. 'Tis, you see, Quite fruitless. SAPIEHA. What? The marshal's self suborned? Is this our Diet, then, no longer free? Throw down your staff, and bid this brawling cease; I charge you, on your office, to obey! [The GRAND MARSHAL casts his baton into the centre of the hall; the tumult abates. What whirling thoughts, what mad resolves are these? Stand we not now at peace with Moscow's Czar? Myself, as your imperial envoy, made A treaty to endure for twenty years; I raised this right hand, that you see, aloft In solemn pledge, within the Kremlin's walls; And fairly hath the Czar maintained his word. What is sworn faith? what compacts, treaties, when A solemn Diet tramples on them all? DEMETRIUS. Prince Leo Sapieha! You concluded A bond of peace, you say, with Moscow's Czar? That did you not; for I, I am that Czar. In me is Moscow's majesty; I am The son of Ivan, and his rightful heir. Would the Poles treat with Russia for a peace, Then must they treat with me! Your compact's null, As being made with one whose's title's null. ODOWALSKY. What reck we of your treaty? So we willed When it was made - our wills are changed to-day. SAPIEHA. Is it, then, come to this? If none beside Will stand for justice, then, at least, will I. I'll rend the woof of cunning into shreds, And lay its falsehoods open to the day. Most reverend primate! art thou, canst thou be So simple-souled, or canst thou so dissemble? Are ye so credulous, my lords? My liege, Art thou so weak? Ye know not - will not know, Ye are the puppets of the wily Waywode Of Sendomir, who reared this spurious Czar, Whose measureless ambition, while we speak, Clutches in thought the spoils of Moscow's wealth. Is't left for me to tell you that even now The league is made and sworn betwixt the twain, - The pledge the Waywode's youngest daughter's hand? And shall our great republic blindly rush Into the perils of an unjust war, To aggrandize the Waywode, and to crown His daughter as the empress of the Czar? There's not a man he has not bribed and bought. He means to rule the Diet, well I know; I see his faction rampant in this hall, And, as 'twere not enough that he controlled The Seym Walmy by a majority, He's girt the Diet with three thousand horse, And all Cracow is swarming like a hive With his sworn feudal vassals. Even now They throng the halls and chambers where we sit, To hold our liberty of speech in awe. Yet stirs no fear in my undaunted heart; And while the blood keeps current in my veins, I will maintain the freedom of my voice! Let those who think like men come stand by me Whilst I have life shall no resolve be passed That is at war with justice and with reason. 'Twas I that ratified the peace with Moscow, And I will hazard life to see it kept. ODOWALSKY. Give him no further hearing! Take the votes! [The BISHOP OF CRACOW and WILNA rise, and descend each to his own side, to collect the votes. MANY. War, war with Moscow! ARCHBISHOP OF GNESEN (to SAPIEHA). Noble sir, give way! You see the mass are hostile to your views; Then do not force a profitless division! IMPERIAL HIGH CHANCELLOR (descends from the throne to SAPIEHA). The king entreats you will not press the point, Sir Waywode, to division in the Diet. DOORKEEPER (aside to ODOWALSKY). Keep a bold front, and fearless - summon those That wait without. All Cracow stands by you. IMPERIAL GRAND MARSHAL (to SAPIEHA). Such excellent decrees have passed before; Oh, cease, and for their sake, so fraught with good, Unite your voice with the majority! BISHOP OF CRACOW (has collected the votes on his side). On this right bench are all unanimous. SAPIEHA. And let them to a man! Yet I say no! I urge my veto - I break up the Diet. Stay further progress! Null and void fire all The resolutions passed - - [General commotion; the KING descends from the throne, the barriers are broken down, and there arises a tumultuous uproar. DEPUTIES draw their swords, and threaten SAPIEHA with them. The BISHOPS interpose, and protect him with their stoles. Majority? What is it? The majority is madness; Reason has still ranked only with the few. What cares he for the general weal that's poor? Has the lean beggar choice, or liberty? To the great lords of earth, that hold the purse, He must for bread and raiment sell his voice. 'Twere meet that voices should be weighed, not counted. Sooner or later must the state be wrecked, Where numbers sway and ignorance decides. ODOWALSKY. Hark to the traitor! - - DEPUTIES. Hew him into shreds! Down with him! ARCHBISHOP OF GNESEN (snatches the crucifix out of his chaplain's hand and interposes). Peace, peace Shall native blood be in the Diet shed? Prince Sapieha! be advised! [To the BISHOPS. Bring him away, And interpose your bosoms as his shield! Through this side door remove him quietly, Or the wild mob will tear him limb from limb! [SAPIEHA, still casting looks of defiance, is forced away by the BISHOPS, whilst the ARCHBISHOPS OF GNESEN and LEMBERG keep the DEPUTIES at bay. Amidst violent tumult and clashing of arms, the hall is emptied of all but DEMETRIUS, MEISCHEK, ODOWALSKY, and the Hetman of the Cossacks. ODOWALSKY. That point miscarried, - Yet shall you not lack aid because of this: If the republic holds the peace with Moscow, At our own charges we shall push your claims. KORELA. Who ever could have dreamed, that he alone Would hold his ground against the assembled Diet? MEISCHEK. The king! the king! [Enter KING SIGISMUND, attended by the LORD HIGH CHANCELLOR, the GRAND MARSHAL, and several BISHOPS. KING. Let me embrace you, prince! At length the high republic does you justice; My heart has done so long, and many a day. Your fate doth move me deeply, as, indeed, What monarch's heart but must be moved by it? DEMETRIUS. The past, with all its sorrows, is forgot; Here on your breast I feel new life begin. KING. I love not many words; yet what a king May offer, who has vassals richer far Than his poor self, that do I offer you. You have been witness of an untoward scene, But deem not ill of Poland's realm because A tempest jars the vessel of the state. MEISCHEK. When winds are wild the steersman backs his helm, And makes for port with all the speed he may. KING. The Diet is dissolved. Although I wished, I could not break the treaty with the Czar. But you have powerful friends; and if the Pole, At his own risk, take arms on your behalf, Or if the Cossack choose to venture war, They are free men, I cannot say them nay. MEISCHEK. The whole Rocoss is under arms already. Please it but you, my liege, the angry stream That raved against your sovereignty may turn Its wrath on Moscow, leaving you unscathed. KING. The best of weapons Russia's self will give thee; Thy surest buckler is the people's heart. By Russia only Russia will be vanquished. Even as the Diet heard thee speak to-day, Speak thou at Moscow to thy subjects, prince. So chain their hearts, and thou wilt be their king. In Sweden I by right of birth ascended The throne of my inheritance in peace; Yet did I lose the kingdom of my sires Because my people's hearts were not with me. Enter MARINA. MEISCHEK. My gracious liege, here, kneeling at your feet, Behold Marina, youngest of my daughters; The prince of Moscow offers her his heart. Thou art the stay and pillar of our house, And only from thy royal hand 'tis meet That she receive her spouse and sovereign. [MARINA kneels to the KING. KING. Well, if you wish it, cousin, gladly I Will do the father's office to the Czar. [To DEMETRIUS, giving him MARINA'S hand. Thus do I bring you, in this lovely pledge, High fortune's blooming goddess; and may these Old eyes be spared to see this gracious pair Sit in imperial state on Moscow's throne. MARINA. My liege, I humbly thank your grace, and shall Esteem me still your slave where'er I be. KING. Rise up, Czaritza! This is not a place For you, the plighted bridesmaid of the Czar; For you, the daughter of my foremost Waywode. You are the youngest of your sisters; yet Your spirit wings a high and glorious course, And nobly grasps the top of sovereignty. DEMETRIUS. Be thou, great monarch, witness of my oath, As, prince to prince, I pledge it here to you! This noble lady's hand I do accept As fortune's dearest pledge, and swear that, soon As on my father's throne I take my seat, I'll lead her home in triumph as my bride, With all the state that fits a mighty queen. And, for a dowry, to my bride I give The principalities Pleskow and Great Neugart, With all towns, hamlets, and in-dwellers there, With all the rights and powers of sovereignty, In absolute possession evermore; And this, my gift, will I as Czar confirm In my free city, Moscow. Furthermore, As compensation to her noble sire For present charges, I engage to pay A million ducats, Polish currency. So help me God, and all his saints, as I Have truly sworn this oath, and shall fulfil it. KING. You will do so; you never will forget For what you are the noble Waywode's debtor; Who, for your wishes, perils his sure wealth, And, for your hopes, a child his heart adores, A friend so rare is to be rarely prized! Then when your hopes are crowned forget not ever The steps by which you mounted to the throne, Nor with your garments let your heart be changed! Think, that in Poland first you knew yourself, That this land gave you birth a second time. DEMETRIUS. I have been nurtured in adversity; And learned to reverence the beauteous bond Which links mankind with sympathies of love. KING. But now you enter on a realm where all - Use, custom, morals - are untried and strange, In Poland here reigns freedom absolute; The king himself, although in pomp supreme, Must ofttime be the serf of his noblesse; But there the father's sacred power prevails, And in the subject finds a passive slave. DEMETRIUS. That glorious freedom which surrounds me here I will transplant into my native land, And turn these bond-serfs into glad-souled men; Not o'er the souls of slaves will I bear rule. KING. Do naught in haste; but by the time be led! Prince, ere we part, three lessons take from me, And truly follow them when thou art king. It is a king that gives them, old and tried, And they may prove of profit to thy youth. DEMETRIUS. Oh, share thy wisdom with me! Thou hast won The reverence of a free and mighty people; What must I do to earn so fair a prize? KING. You come from a strange land, Borne on the weapons of a foreign foe; This first felt wrong thou hast to wash away. Then bear thee like a genuine son of Moscow, With reverence due to all her usages. Keep promise with the Poles, and value them, For thou hast need of friends on thy new throne: The arm that placed thee there can hurl thee down. Esteem them honorably, yet ape them not; Strange customs thrive not in a foreign soil. And, whatsoe'er thou dost, revere thy mother - You'll find a mother - - DEMETRIUS. Oh, my liege! KING. High claim Hath she upon thy filial reverence. Do her all honor. 'Twixt thy subjects and Thyself she stands, a sacred, precious link. No human law o'errides the imperial power; Nothing but nature may command its awe; Nor can thy people own a surer pledge, That thou art gentle, than thy filial love. I say no more. Much yet is to be done, Ere thou mak'st booty of the golden fleece. Expect no easy victory! Czar Boris rules with strong and skilful hand; You take the field against no common man. He that by merit hath achieved the throne, Is not puffed from his seat by popular breath; His deeds do serve to him for ancestors. To your good fortune I commend you now; Already twice, as by a miracle, Hath it redeemed you from the grasp of death; 'Twill put the finish on its work, and crown you. [Exeunt omnes but MARINA and ODOWALSKY. ODOWALSKY. Say, lady, how have I fulfilled my charge? Truly and well, and wilt thou laud my zeal? MARINA. 'Tis, Odowalsky, well we are alone; Matters of weight have we to canvass which 'Tis meet the prince know nothing of. May he Pursue the voice divine that goads him on! If in himself he have belief, the world Will catch the flame, and give him credence too. He must be kept in that vague, shadowing mist, Which is a fruitful mother of great deeds, While we see clear, and act in certainty. He lends the name - the inspiration; we Must bear the brain, the shaping thought, for him; And when, by art and craft, we have insured The needful levies, let him still dream on, And think they dropped, to aid him, from the clouds. ODOWALSKY. Give thy commands: I live but for thy service. Think'st thou this Moscovite or his affairs Concern my thoughts? 'Tis thou, thou and thy glory For which I will adventure life and all. For me no fortune blossoms; friendless, landless, I dare not let my hopes aspire to thee. Thy grace I may not win, but I'll deserve it. To make thee great be my one only aim; Then, though another should possess thee, still Thou wilt be mine - being what I have made thee. MARINA. Therefore my whole heart do I pledge to thee; To thee I trust the acting of my thoughts. The king doth mean us false. I read him through. 'Twas a concerted farce with Sapieha, A juggle, all! 'Twould please him well, belike, To see my father's power, which he dreads deeply, Enfeebled in this enterprise - the league Of the noblesse, which shook his heart with fear, Drawn off in this campaign on foreign bounds, While he himself sits neutral in the fray. He thinks to share our fortune, if we win; And if we lose, he hopes with greater ease To fix on us the bondage of his yoke. We stand alone. This die is cast. If he Cares for himself, we shall be selfish too. You lead the troops to Kioff. There let them swear Allegiance to the prince, and unto me; - Mark you, to me! 'Tis needful for our ends. I want your eye, and not your arm alone. ODOWALSKY. Command me - speak - MARINA. You lead the Czarowitsch. Keep your eye on him; stir not from his side, Render me 'count of every step he makes. ODOWALSKY. Rely on me, he'll never cast us off. MARINA. No man is grateful. Once his throne is sure, He'll not be slow to cast our bonds aside. The Russian hates the Pole - must hate him ever; No bond of amity can link their hearts. Enter OPALINSKY, BIELSKY, and several Polish noblemen. OPALINSKY. Fair patron, get us gold, and we march with you, This lengthened Diet has consumed our all. Let us have gold, we'll make thee Russia's queen. MARINA. The Bishop of Kaminieck and Culm Lends money on the pawn of land and serfs. Sell, barter, pledge the hamlets of your boors, Turn all to silver, horses, means of war! War is the best of chapmen. He transmutes Iron into gold. Whate'er you now may lose You'll find in Moscow twenty-fold again. BIELSKY. Two hundred more wait in the tavern yonder; If you will show yourself, and drain a cup With them, they're yours, all yours - I know them well. MARINA. Expect me! You shall introduce me to them. OPALINSKY. 'Tis plain that you were born to be a queen. MARINA. I was, and therefore I must be a queen. BIELSKY. Ay, mount the snow-white steed, thine armor on, And so, a second Vanda, lead thy troops, Inspired by thee, to certain victory. MARINA. My spirit leads you. War is not for women. The rendezvous is in Kioff. Thither my father Will lead a levy of three thousand horse. My sister's husband gives two thousand more, And the Don sends a Cossack host in aid. Do you all swear you will be true to me? ALL. All, all - we swear! (draw their swords.) Vivat Marina, Russiae Regina! [MARINA tears her veil in pieces, and divides it among them. Exeunt omnes but MARINA. Enter MEISCHEK. MARINA. Wherefore so sad, when fortune smiles on us, When every step thrives to our utmost wish, And all around are arming in our cause? MEISCHEK. 'Tis even because of this, my child! All, all Is staked upon the cast. Thy father's means Are in these warlike preparations swamped. I have much cause to ponder seriously; Fortune is false, uncertain the result. Mad, venturous girl, what hast thou brought me to? What a weak father have I been, that I Did not withstand thy importunities! I am the richest Waywode of the empire, The next in honor to the king. Had we But been content to be so, and enjoyed Our stately fortunes with a tranquil soul! Thy hopes soared higher - not for thee sufficed The moderate station which thy sisters won. Thou wouldst attain the loftiest mark that can By mortals be achieved, and wear a crown. I, thy fond, foolish father, longed to heap On thee, my darling one, all glorious gains, So by thy prayers I let myself be fooled, And peril my sure fortunes on a chance. MARINA. How? My dear father, dost thou rue thy goodness? Who with the meaner prize can live content, When o'er his head the noblest courts his grasp? MEISCHEK. Thy sisters wear no crowns, yet they are happy. MARINA. What happiness is that to leave the home Of the Waywode, my father, for the house Of some count palatine, a grateful bride? What do I gain of new from such a change? And can I joy in looking to the morrow When it brings naught but what was stale to-day? Oh, tasteless round of petty, worn pursuits! Oh, wearisome monotony of life! Are they a guerdon for high hopes, high aims? Or love or greatness I must have: all else Are unto me alike indifferent. Smooth off the trouble from thy brow, dear father! Let's trust the stream that bears us on its breast, Think not upon the sacrifice thou makest, Think on the prize, the goal that's to be won - When thou shalt see thy daughter robed in state, In regal state, aloft on Moscow's throne, And thy son's sons the rulers of the world! MEISCHEK. I think of naught, see naught, but thee, my child, Girt with the splendors of the imperial crown. Thou'rt bent to have it; I cannot gainsay thee. MARINA. Yet one request, my dearest, best of fathers, I pray you grant me! MEISCHEK. Name thy wish, my child. MARINA. Shall I remain shut up at Sambor with The fires of boundless longing in my breast? Beyond the Dnieper will my die be cast, While boundless space divides me from the spot; Can I endure it? Oh, the impatient spirit Will lie upon the rack of expectation And measure out this monstrous length of space With groans and anxious throbbings of the heart. MEISCHEK. What dost thou wish? What is it thou wouldst have? MARINA. Let me abide the issue in Kioff! There I can gather tidings at their source. There on the frontier of both kingdoms - - MEISCHEK. Thy spirit's over-bold. Restrain it, child! MARINA. Yes, thou dost yield, - thou'lt take me with thee, then? MEISCHEK. Thou rulest me. Must I not do thy will? MARINA. My own dear father, when I am Moscow's queen Kioff, you know, must be our boundary. Kioff must then be mine, and thou shalt rule it. MEISCHEK. Thou dreamest, girl! Already the great Moscow Is for thy soul too narrow; thou, to grasp Domains, wilt strip them from thy native land. MARINA. Kioff belonged not to our native land; There the Varegers ruled in days of yore. I have the ancient chronicles by heart; 'Twas from the Russian empire wrenched by force. I will restore it to its former crown. MEISCHEK. Hush, hush! The Waywode must not hear such talk. [Trumpet without. They're breaking up. ACT II. SCENE I. A Greek convent in a bleak district near the sea Belozero. A train of nuns, in black robes and veils, passes over the back of the stage. MARFA, in a white veil, stands apart from the others, leaning on a tombstone. OLGA steps out from the train, remains gazing at her for a time, and then advances to her. OLGA. And does thy heart not urge thee forth with us To taste reviving nature's opening sweets? The glad sun comes, the long, long night retires, The ice melts in the streams, and soon the sledge Will to the boat give place and summer swallow. The world awakes once more, and the new joy Woos all to leave their narrow cloister cells For the bright air and freshening breath of spring. And wilt thou only, sunk in lasting grief, Refuse to share the general exultation? MARFA. On with the rest, and leave me to myself! Let those rejoice who still have power to hope. The time that puts fresh youth in all the world Brings naught to me; to me the past is all, My hopes, my joys are with the things that were. OLGA. Dost thou still mourn thy son - still, still lament The sovereignty which thou has lost? Does time, Which pours a balm on every wounded heart, Lose all its potency with thee alone? Thou wert the empress of this mighty realm, The mother of a blooming son. He was Snatched from thee by a dreadful destiny; Into this dreary convent wert thou thrust, Here on the verge of habitable earth. Full sixteen times since that disastrous day The face of nature hath renewed its youth; Still have I seen no change come over thine, That looked a grave amid a blooming world. Thou'rt like some moonless image, carved in stone By sculptor's chisel, that doth ever keep The selfsame fixed unalterable mien. MARFA. Yes, time, fell time, hath signed and set me up As a memorial of my dreadful fate. I will not be at peace, will not forget. That soul must be of poor and shallow stamp Which takes a cure from time - a recompense For what can never be compensated! Nothing shall buy my sorrow from me. No, As heaven's vault still goes with the wanderer, Girds and environs him with boundless grasp, Turn where he will, by sea or land, so goes My anguish with me, wheresoe'er I turn; It hems me round, like an unbounded sea; My ceaseless tears have failed to drain its depths. OLGA. Oh, see! what news can yonder boy have brought, The sisters round him throng so eagerly? He comes from distant shores, where homes abound, And brings us tidings from the land of men. The sea is clear, the highways free once more. Art thou not curious to learn his news? Though to the world we are as good as dead, Yet of its changes willingly we hear, And, safe upon the shore, with wonder mark The roar and ferment of the trampling waves. [NUNS come down the stage with a FISHER BOY. XENIA - HELENA. Speak, speak, and tell us all the news you bring. ALEXIA. Relate what's passing in the world beyond. FISHER BOY. Good, pious ladies, give me time to speak! XENIA. Is't war - or peace? ALEXIA. Who's now upon the throne? FISHER BOY. A ship is to Archangel just come in From the north pole, where everything is ice. OLGA. How came a vessel into that wild sea? FISHER BOY. It is an English merchantman, and it Has found a new way out to get to us. ALEXIA. What will not man adventure for his gain? XENIA. And so the world is nowhere to be barred! FISHER BOY. But that's the very smallest of the news. 'Tis something very different moves the world. ALEXIA. Oh, speak and tell us! OLGA. Say, what has occurred? FISHER BOY. We live to hear strange marvels nowadays: The dead rise up, and come to life again. OLGA. Explain yourself. FISHER BOY. Prince Dmitri, Ivan's son, Whom we have mourned for dead these sixteen years, Is now alive, and has appeared in Poland. OLGA. The prince alive? MARFA (starting). My son! OLGA. Compose thyself! Calm down thy heart till we have learned the whole. ALEXIA. How can this possibly be so, when he Was killed, and perished in the flames at Uglitsch? FISHER BOY. He managed somehow to escape the fire, And found protection in a monastery. There he grew up in secrecy, until His time was come to publish who he was. OLGA (to MARFA). You tremble, princess! You grow pale! MARFA. I know That it must be delusion, yet so little Is my heart steeled 'gainst fear and hope e'en now, That in my breast it flutters like a bird. OLGA. Why should it be delusion? Mark his words! How could this rumor spread without good cause? FISHER BOY. Without good cause? The Lithuanians And Poles are all in arms upon his side. The Czar himself quakes in his capital. [MARFA is compelled by her emotion to lean upon OLGA and ALEXIA. XENIA. Speak on, speak, tell us everything you know. ALEXIA. And tell us, too, of whom you stole the news. FISHER BOY. I stole the news? A letter has gone forth To every town and province from the Czar. This letter the Posadmik of our town Read to us all, in open market-place. It bore, that busy schemers were abroad, And that we should not lend their tales belief. But this made us believe them; for, had they Been false, the Czar would have despised the lie. MARFA. Is this the calm I thought I had achieved? And clings my heart so close to temporal things, That a mere word can shake my inward soul? For sixteen years have I bewailed my son, And yet at once believe that still he lives. OLGA. Sixteen long years thou'st mourned for him as dead, And yet his ashes thou hast never seen! Naught countervails the truth of the report. Nay, does not Providence watch o'er the fate Of kings and monarchies? Then welcome hope! More things befall than thou canst comprehend. Who can set limits to the Almighty's power? MARFA. Shall I turn back to look again on life, To which long since I spoke a sad farewell? It was not with the dead my hopes abode. Oh, say no more of this. Let not my heart Hang on this phantom hope! Let me not lose My darling son a second time. Alas! My peace of mind is gone, - my dream of peace I cannot trust these tidings, - yet, alas, I can no longer dash them from my soul! Woe's me, I never lost my son till now. Oh, now I can no longer tell if I Shall seek him 'mongst the living or the dead, Tossed on the rock of never-ending doubt. OLGA [A bell sounds, - the sister PORTERESS enters. Why has the bell been sounded, sister, say? PORTERESS. The lord archbishop waits without; he brings A message from the Czar, and craves an audience. OLGA. Does the archbishop stand within our gates? What strange occurrence can have brought him here? XENIA. Come all, and give him greeting as befits. [They advance towards the gate as the ARCHBISHOP enters; they all kneel before him, and he makes the sign of the Greek cross over them. ARCHBISHOP. The kiss of peace I bring you in the name Of Father, Son, and of the Holy Ghost, Proceeding from the Father! OLGA. Sir, we kiss In humblest reverence thy paternal hand! Command thy daughters! ARCHBISHOP. My mission is addressed to Sister Marfa. OLGA. See, here she stands, and waits to know thy will. [All the NUNS withdraw. ARCHBISHOP. It is the mighty prince who sends me here; Upon his distant throne he thinks of thee; For as the sun, with his great eye of flame, Sheds light and plenty all abroad the world, So sweeps the sovereign's eye on every side; Even to the farthest limits of his realm His care is wakeful and his glance is keen. MARFA. How far his arm can strike I know too well. ARCHBISHOP. He knows the lofty spirit fills thy soul, And therefore feels indignantly the wrong A bold-faced villain dares to offer thee. Learn, then, in Poland, an audacious churl, A renegade, who broke his monkish vows, Laid down his habit, and renounced his God, Doth use the name and title of thy son, Whom death snatched from thee in his infancy. The shameless varlet boasts him of thy blood, And doth affect to be Czar Ivan's son; A Waywode breaks the peace; from Poland leads This spurious monarch, whom himself created, Across our frontiers, with an armed power: So he beguiles the Russians' faithful hearts, And lures them on to treason and revolt. The Czar, With pure, paternal feeling, sends me to thee. Thou hold'st the manes of thy son in honor; Nor wilt permit a bold adventurer To steal his name and title from the tomb, And with audacious hand usurp his rights. Thou wilt proclaim aloud to all the world That thou dost own him for no son of thine. Thou wilt not nurse a bastard's alien blood Upon thy heart, that beats so nobly; never! Thou wilt - and this the Czar expects from thee - Give the vile counterfeit the lie, with all The righteous indignation it deserves. MARFA (who has during the last speech subdued the most violent emotion). What do I hear, archbishop? Can it be? Oh, tell me, by what signs and marks of proof This bold-faced trickster doth uphold himself As Ivan's son, whom we bewailed as dead? ARCHBISHOP. By some faint, shadowy likeness to the Czar, By documents which chance threw in his way, And by a precious trinket, which he shows, He cheats the credulous and wondering mob. MARFA. What is the trinket? Oh, pray, tell me what? ARCHBISHOP. A golden cross, gemmed with nine emeralds, Which Ivan Westislowsky, so he says, Hung round his neck at the baptismal font. MARFA. What do you say? He shows this trinket, this? [With forced composure. And how does he allege he came by it? ARCHBISHOP. A faithful servant and Diak, he says, Preserved him from the assassins and the flames, And bore him to Smolenskow privily. MARFA. But where was he brought up? Where, gives he forth, Was he concealed and fostered until now? ARCHBISHOP. In Tschudow's monastery he was reared, Unknowing who he was; from thence he fled To Lithuania and Poland, where He served the Prince of Sendomir, until An accident revealed his origin. MARFA. With such a tale as this can he find friends To peril life and fortune in his cause? ARCHBISHOP. Oh, madam, false, false-hearted is the Pole, And enviously he eyes our country's wealth. He welcomes every pretext that may serve To light the flames of war within our bounds! MARFA. And were there credulous spirits, even in Moscow, Could by this juggle be so lightly stirred? ARCHBISHOP. Oh, fickle, princess, is the people's heart! They dote on alteration, and expect To reap advantage from a change of rulers. The bold assurance of the falsehood charms; The marvellous finds favor and belief. Therefore the Czar is anxious thou shouldst quell This mad delusion, as thou only canst. A word from thee annihilates the traitor That falsely claims the title of thy son. It joys me thus to see thee moved. I see The audacious juggle rouses all thy pride, And, with a noble anger paints thy cheek. MARFA. And where, where, tell me, does he tarry now, Who dares usurp the title of my son? ARCHBISHOP. E'en now he's moving on to Tscherinsko; His camp at Kioff has broke up, 'tis rumored; And with a force of mounted Polish troops And Don Cossacks, he comes to push his claims. MARFA. Oh, God Almighty, thanks, thanks, thanks, that thou Hast sent me rescue and revenge at last! ARCHBISHOP. How, Marfa, how am I to construe this? MARFA. Ob, heavenly powers, conduct him safely here! Hover, oh all ye angels, round his banners! ARCHBISHOP. Can it be so? The traitor, canst thou trust - - MARFA. He is my son. Yes! by these signs alone I recognize him. By thy Czar's alarm I recognize him. Yes! He lives! He comes! Down, tyrant, from thy throne, and shake with fear! There still doth live a shoot from Rurik's stem; The genuine Czar - the rightful heir draws nigh, He comes to claim a reckoning for his own. ARCHBISHOP. Dost thou bethink thee what thou say'st? 'Tis madness! MARFA. At length - at length has dawned the day of vengeance, Of restoration. Innocence is dragged To light by heaven from the grave's midnight gloom. The haughty Godunow, my deadly foe, Must crouch and sue for mercy at my feet; Oh, now my burning wishes are fulfilled! ARCHBISHOP. Can hate and rancorous malice blind you so? MARFA. Can terror blind your monarch so, that he Should hope deliverance from me - from me - Whom he hath done immeasurable wrong? I shall, forsooth, deny the son whom heaven Restores me by a miracle from the grave, And to please him, the butcher of my house, Who piled upon me woes unspeakable? Yes, thrust from me the succor God has sent In the sad evening of my heavy anguish? No, thou escap'st me not. No, thou shalt hear me, I have thee fast, I will not let thee free. Oh, I can ease my bosom's load at last! At last launch forth against mine enemy The long-pent anger of my inmost soul! Who was it, who, That shut me up within this living tomb, In all the strength and freshness of my youth, With all its feelings glowing in my breast? Who from my bosom rent my darling son, And chartered ruffian hands to take his life? Oh, words can never tell what I have suffered, When, with a yearning that would not be still, I watched throughout the long, long starry nights, And noted with my tears the hours elapse! The day of succor comes, and of revenge; I see the mighty glorying in his might. ARCHBISHOP. You think the Czar will dread you - you mistake. MARFA. He's in my power - one little word from me, One only, sets the seal upon his fate! It was for this thy master sent thee here! The eyes of Russia and of Poland now Are closely bent upon me. If I own The Czarowitsch as Ivan's son and mine, Then all will do him homage; his the throne. If I disown him, then he is undone; For who will credit that his rightful mother, A mother wronged, so foully wronged as I, Could from her heart repulse its darling child, To league with the despoilers of her house? I need but speak one word and all the world Deserts him as a traitor. Is't not so? This word you wish from me. That mighty service, Confess, I can perform for Godunow! ARCHBISHOP. Thou wouldst perform it for thy country, and Avert the dread calamities of war, Shouldst thou do homage to the truth. Thyself, Ay, thou hast ne'er a doubt thy son is dead; And couldst thou testify against thy conscience? MARFA. These sixteen years I've mourned his death; but yet I ne'er have seen his ashes. I believed His death, there trusting to the general voice And my sad heart - I now believe he lives, Trusting the general voice and my strong hope. 'Twere impious, with audacious doubts, to seek To set a bound to the Almighty's will; And even were he not my heart's dear son, Yet should he be the son of my revenge. In my child's room I take him to my breast, Whom heaven has sent me to avenge my wrongs. ARCHBISHOP. Unhappy one, dost thou defy the strong? From his far-reaching arm thou art not safe Even in the convent's distant solitude. MARFA. Kill me he may, and stifle in the grave, Or dungeon's gloom, my woman's voice, that it Shall not reverberate throughout the world. This he may do; but force me to speak aught Against my will, that can he not; though backed By all thy craft - no, he has missed his aim! ARCHBISHOP. Is this thy final purpose. Ponder well! Hast thou no gentler message for the Czar? MARFA. Tell him to hope for heaven, if so he dare, And for his people's love, if so he can. ARCHBISHOP. Enough! thou art bent on thy destruction. Thou lean'st upon a reed, will break beneath thee; One common ruin will o'erwhelm ye both. [Exit. MARFA. It is my son, I cannot doubt 'tis he. Even the wild hordes of the uncultured wastes Take arms upon his side; the haughty Pole, The palatine, doth stake his noble daughter On the pure gold of his most righteous cause, And I alone reject him - I, his mother? I, only I, shook not beneath the storm Of joy that lifts all hearts with dizzying whirl, And scatters turmoil widely o'er the earth. He is my son - I must, will trust in him, And grasp with living confidence the hand Which heaven hath sent for my deliverance. 'Tis he, he comes with his embattled hosts, To set me free, and to avenge my shame! Hark to his drums, his martial trumpets' clang! Ye nations come - come from the east and south. Forth from your steppes, your immemorial woods Of every tongue, of every raiment come! Bridle the steed, the reindeer, and the camel! Sweep hither, countless as the ocean waves, And throng around the banners of your king! Oh, wherefore am I mewed and fettered here, A prisoned soul with longings infinite! Thou deathless sun, that circlest earth's huge ball, Be thou the messenger of my desires! Thou all-pervading, chainless breeze that sweep'st With lightning speed to earth's remotest bound, Oh, bear to him the yearnings of my heart. My prayers are all I have to give; but these I pour all glowing from my inmost soul, And send them up to heaven on wings of flame, Like armed hosts, I send them forth to hail him. SCENE II. A height crowned with trees. A wide and smiling landscape occupies the background, which is traversed by a beautiful river, and enlivened by the budding green of spring. At various points the towers of several towns are visible. Drums and martial music without. Enter ODOWALSKY, and other officers, and immediately afterwards DEMETRIUS. ODOWALSKY. Go, lead the army downward by the wood, Whilst we look round us here upon the height. [Exeunt some of the officers. Enter DEMETRIUS. DEMETRIUS (starting back). Ha! what a prospect! ODOWALSKY. Sire, thou see'st thy kingdom Spread out before thee. That is Russian land. RAZIN. Why, e'en this pillar here bears Moscow's arms; Here terminates the empire of the Poles. DEMETRIUS. Is that the Dnieper, rolls its quiet stream Along these meadows? ODOWALSKY. That, sire, is the Desna; See, yonder rise the towers of Tschernizow! RAZIN. Yon gleam you see upon the far horizon Is from the roofs of Sewerisch Novogrod. DEMETRIUS. What a rich prospect! What fair meadow lands! ODOWALSKY. The spring has decked them with her trim array; A teeming harvest clothes the fruitful soil. DEMETRIUS. The view is lost in limitless expanse. RAZIN. Yet is this but a small beginning, sire, Of Russia's mighty empire. For it spreads Towards the east to confines unexplored, And on the north has ne'er a boundary, Save the productive energy of earth. Behold, our Czar is quite absorbed in thought. DEMETRIUS. On these fair meads dwell peace, unbroken peace, And with war's terrible array I come To scatter havoc, like a listed foe! ODOWALSKY. Hereafter 'twill be time to think of that. DEMETRIUS. Thou feelest as a Pole, I am Moscow's son. It is the land to which I owe my life; Forgive me, thou dear soil, land of my home, Thou sacred boundary-pillar, which I clasp, Whereon my sire his broad-spread eagle graved, That I, thy son, with foreign foemen's arms, Invade the tranquil temple of thy peace. 'Tis to reclaim my heritage I come, And the proud name that has been stolen from me. Here the Varegers, my forefathers, ruled, In lengthened line, for thirty generations; I am the last of all their lineage, snatched From murder by God's special providence. SCENE III. A Russian village. An open square before a church. The tocsin is heard. GLEB, ILIA, and TIMOSKA rush in, armed with hatchets. GLEB (entering from a house). Why are they running? ILIA (entering from another house). Who has tolled the bell. TIMOSKA. Neighbors, come forth! Come all, to council come! [Enter OLEG and IGOR, with many other peasants, women and children, who carry bundles. GLEB. Whence come ye hither with your wives and children? IGOR. Fly, fly! The Pole has fallen upon the land At Maromesk, and slaughters all he finds. OLEG. Fly into the interior - to strong towns! We've fired our cottages, there's not a soul Left in the village, and we're making now Up country for the army of the Czar. TIMOSKA. Here comes another troop of fugitives. [IWANSKA and PETRUSCHKA, with armed peasantry, enter on different sides. IWANSKA. Long live the Czar! The mighty prince Dmitri! GLEB. How! What is this! ILIA. What do you mean? TIMOSKA. Who are you? PETRUSCHKA. Join all who're loyal to our princely line! TIMOSKA. What means all this? There a whole village flies Up country to escape the Poles, while you Make for the very point whence these have fled, To join the standard of the country's foe! PETRUSCHKA. What foe? It is no foe that comes; it is The people's friend, the emperor's rightful heir. * * * * * The POSADMIK (the village judge) enters to read a manifesto by Demetrius. Vacillation of the inhabitants of the village between the two parties. The peasant women are the first to be won over to Demetrius, and turn the scale. Camp of DEMETRIUS. He is worsted in the first action, but the army of the Czar Boris conquers in a manner against its will, and does not follow up its advantages. Demetrius, in despair, is about to destroy himself, and is with difficulty prevented from doing so by Korela and Odowalsky. Overbearing demeanor of the Cossacks even to DEMETRIUS. Camp of the army of the CZAR BORIS. He is absent himself, and this injures his cause, as he is feared but not loved. His army is strong, but not to be relied on. The leaders are not unanimous, and partly incline to the side of Demetrius from a variety of motives. One of their number, Soltikow, declares for him from conviction. His adherence is attended with the most important results; a large portion of the army deserts to DEMETRIUS. BORIS in Moscow. He still maintains his position as absolute ruler, and has faithful servants around him; but already he is discomposed by evil tidings. He is withheld from joining the army by apprehension of a rebellion in Moscow. He is also ashamed as Czar to enter the field in person against a traitor. Scene between him and the archbishop. Bad news pours in from all sides, and Boris' danger grows momently more imminent. He hears of the revolt of the peasantry and the provincial towns, - of the inactivity and mutiny of the army, - of the commotions in Moscow, - of the advance of Demetrius. Romanow, whom he has deeply wronged, arrives in Moscow. This gives rise to new apprehensions. Now come the tidings that the Boiars are flying to the camp of Demetrius, and that the whole army has gone over to him. BORIS and AXINIA. The Czar appears in a touching aspect as father, and in the dialogue with his daughter unfolds his inmost nature. BORIS has made his way to the throne by crime, but undertaken and fulfilled all the duties of a monarch; to the country he is a valuable prince and a true father of his people. It is only in his personal dealings with individuals that he is cunning, revengeful, and cruel. His spirit as well as his rank elevates him above all that surround him. The long possession of supreme power, the habit of ruling over men, and the despotic form of government, have so nursed his pride that it is impossible for him to outlive his greatness. He sees clearly what awaits him; but still he is Czar, and not degraded, though he resolves to die. He believes in forewarnings, and in his present mood things appear to him of significance which, on other occasions, he had despised. A particular circumstance, in which he seems to hear the voice of destiny, decides him. Shortly before his death his nature changes; he grows milder, even towards the messengers of evil, and is ashamed of the bursts of rage with which he had received them before. He permits the worst to be told to him, and even rewards the narrator. So soon as he learns the misfortune that seals his fate, he leaves the stage without further explanation, with composure and resignation. Shortly afterwards he returns in the habit of a monk, and removes his daughter from the sight of his last moments. She is to seek protection from insult in a cloister; his son, Feodor, as a child, will perhaps have less to fear. He takes poison, and enters a retired chamber to die in peace. General confusion at the tidings of the Czar's death. The Boiars form an imperial council and rule in the Kremlin. Romanow (afterwards Czar, and founder of the now ruling house) enters at the head of an armed force, swears, on the bosom of the Czar, an oath of allegiance to his son Feodor, and compels the Boiars to follow his example. Revenge and ambition are far from his soul; he pursues only justice. He loves Axinia without hope, and is, without knowing it, beloved by her in return. ROMANOW hastens to the army to secure it for the young Czar. Insurrection in Moscow, brought about by the adherents of Demetrius. The people drag the Boiars from their houses, make themselves masters of Feodor and Axinia - put them in prison, and send delegates to Demetrius. DEMETRIUS in Tula, at the pinnacle of success. The army is his own; the keys of numerous towns are brought to him. Moscow alone appears to offer resistance. He is mild and amiable, testifies a noble emotion at the intelligence of the death of Boris, pardons a detected conspiracy against his life, despises the servile adulations of the Russians, and is for sending them away. The Poles, on the other hand, by whom he is surrounded, are rude and violent, and treat the Russians with contempt. Demetrius longs for a meeting with his mother, and sends a messenger to Marina. Among the multitude of Russians who throng around Demetrius in Tula appears a man whom he at once recognizes; he is greatly delighted to see him. He bids all the rest withdraw, and so soon as he is alone with this man he thanks him, with full heart, as his preserver and benefactor. This person hints that Demetrius is under especial obligations to him, and to a greater extent than he is himself aware. Demetrius urges him to explain, and the assassin of the genuine Demetrius thereupon discloses the real facts of the case. For this murder he had received no recompense, but on the contrary had nothing but death to anticipate from Boris. Thirsting for revenge, he stumbled upon a boy, whose resemblance to the Czar Ivan struck him. This circumstance must be turned to account. He seized the boy, fled with him from Uglitsch, brought him to a monk, whom he succeeded in gaining over for his ends, and delivered to him the trinkets which he had himself taken from the murdered Demetrius. By means of this boy, whom he had never lost sight of, and whose steps he had attended upon all occasions without being observed, he is now revenged. His tool, the false Demetrius, rules over Russia in Boris' room. During this narration a mighty change comes over Demetrius. His silence is awful. In the moment of the highest rage and despair, the assassin drives him to the extreme of endurance, when with a defying and insolent air he demands his reward. Demetrius strikes him to the earth. Soliloquy of Demetrius. Internal conflict; but the feeling of the necessity for maintaining his position as Czar is triumphant. The delegates from Moscow arrive, and submit themselves to Demetrius. They are received gloomily, and with a menacing demeanor. Among them is the Patriarch. Demetrius deposes him from his dignity, and soon afterwards sentences to death a Russian of rank, who had questioned the authenticity of his birth. MARFA and OLGA await Demetrius under a magnificent tent. Marfa speaks of the approaching interview with more doubt and fear than hope, and trembles as the moment draws near which should assure her highest happiness. Olga speaks to her, herself without faith. During the long journey they have both had time to recall the whole circumstances; the first exultation had given place to reflection. The gloomy silence and the repulsive glances of the guards who surround the tent serve still further to augment their despondency. The trumpets sound. Marfa is irresolute whether she shall advance to meet Demetrius. Now he stands before her alone. The little that was left of hope in her heart altogether vanishes on seeing him. An unknown something steps between them - Nature does not speak - they are separated forever. The first impulse is an endeavor to approach; Marfa is the first to make a movement to recede. Demetrius observes it, and remains for a moment paralyzed. Significant silence. DEMETRIUS. Does thy heart say nothing? Dost thou not recognize thy blood in me? MARFA is silent. DEMETRIUS. The voice of nature is holy and free; I will neither constrain nor belie it. Had thy heart spoken at the first glance then had mine answered it; thou shouldst have found a pious, loving son in me. The claim of duty would have concurred with inclination and heartfelt affection. But if thou dost not feel as a mother for me, then, think as a princess, command thyself as a queen! Fate unexpectedly gave me to thee as a son; accept me as a gift of heaven. Though even I were not thy son, which I now appear to be, still I rob thy son of nothing. I stripped it from thy foe. Thee and thy blood have I avenged; I have delivered thee from the grave in which thou went entombed alive, and led thee back into the royal seat. That thy destiny is linked with mine thou knowest. With me thou standest, and with me must fall. All the people's eyes are upon us. I hate deception, and what I do not feel I may not show; but I do really feel a reverence for thee, and this feeling, which bends my knee before thee, comes from my heart. [Dumb show of MARFA, to indicate her internal emotion. DEMETRIUS. Make thy resolve! Let that which nature will not prompt be the free act of thy will! I ask no hypocrisy - no falsehood, from thee; I ask genuine feelings. Do not seem to be my mother, but be so. Throw the past from thee - grasp the present with thy whole heart! If I am not thy son yet I am the Czar - I have power and success upon my side. He who lies in his grave is dust; he has no heart to love thee, no eye to smile upon thee. Turn to the living. [MARFA bursts into tears. DEMETRIUS. Oh, these golden drops are welcome to me. Let them flow! Show thyself thus to the people! [At a signal from DEMETRIUS the tent is thrown open, and the assembled Russians become spectators of this scene. Entrance of Demetrius into Moscow. Great splendor, but of a military kind. Poles and Cossacks compose the procession. Gloom and terror mingle with the demonstrations of joy. Distrust and misfortune surround the whole. Romanow, who came to the army too late, has returned to Moscow to protect Feodor and Axinia. It is all in vain; he is himself thrown into prison. Axinia flies to Marfa, and at her feet implores protection against the Poles. Here Demetrius sees her, and a violent and irresistible passion is kindled in his breast. Axinia detests him. DEMETRIUS as Czar. A fearful element sustains him, but he does not control it: he is urged on by the force of strange passions. His inward consciousness betokens a general distrust; he has no friend on whom he can rely. Poles and Cossacks, by their insolent licentiousness, injure him in the popular opinion. Even that which is creditable to him - his popular manners, simplicity, and contempt of stiff ceremonial, occasions dissatisfaction. Occasionally he offends, through inadvertency, the usages of the country. He persecutes the monks because he suffered severely under them. Moreover, he is not exempt from despotic caprices in the moments of offended pride. Odowalsky knows how to make himself at all times indispensable to him, removes the Russians to a distance, and maintains his overruling influence. DEMETRIUS meditates inconstancy to Marina. He confers upon the point with the Archbishop Iob, who, in order to get rid of the Poles, falls in with his desire, and puts before him an exalted picture of the imperial power. MARINA appears with a vast retinue in Moscow. Meeting with Demetrius. Hollow and cold meeting on both sides; she, however, wears her disguise with greater skill. She urges an immediate marriage. Preparations are made for a magnificent festival. By the orders of Marina a cup of poison is brought to Axinia. Death is welcome to her; she was afraid of being forced to the altar with the Czar. Violent grief of Demetrius. With a broken heart he goes to the betrothal with Marina. After the marriage Marina discloses to him that she does not consider him to be the true Demetrius, and never did. She then coldly leaves him in a state of extreme anguish and dismay. Meanwhile SCHINSKOI, one of the former generals of the Czar Boris, avails himself of the growing discontent of the people, and becomes the head of a conspiracy against Demetrius. ROMANOW, in prison, is comforted by a supernatural apparition. Axinia's spirit stands before him, opens to him a prospect of happier times in store, and enjoins him calmly to allow destiny to ripen, and not to stain himself with blood. ROMANOW receives a hint that he may himself be called to the throne. Soon afterwards he is solicited to take part in the conspiracy, but declines. SOLTIKOW reproaches himself bitterly for having betrayed his country to Demetrius. But he will not be a second time a traitor, and adheres, from principle and against his feelings, to the party which he has once adopted. As the misfortune has happened, he seeks at least to alleviate it, and to enfeeble the power of the Poles. He pays for this effort with his life; but he accepts death as a merited punishment, and confesses this when dying to Demetrius himself. CASIMIR, a brother of LODOISKA, a young Polish lady, who has been secretly and hopelessly attached to Demetrius, in the house of the Waywode of Sendomir, has, at his sister's request, accompanied Demetrius in the campaign, and in every encounter defended him bravely. In the moment of danger, when all the other retainers of Demetrius think only of their personal safety, Casimir alone remains faithful to him, and sacrifices life in his defence. The conspiracy breaks out. Demetrius is with Marfa when the leading conspirators force their way into the room. The dignity and courage of Demetrius have a momentary effect upon the rebels. He nearly succeeds in disarming them by a promise to place the Poles at their disposal. But at this point SCHINSKOI rushes in with an infuriated band. An explicit declaration is demanded from the ex-empress; she is required to swear, upon the cross, that Demetrius is her son. To testify against her conscience in a manner so solemn is impossible. She turns from Demetrius in silence, and is about to withdraw. "Is she silent?" exclaims the tumultuous throng. "Does she disown him?" "Then, traitor, die!" and Demetrius falls, pierced by their swords, at Marfa's feet. Publication Date: May 21st 2008 https://www.bookrix.com/-bx.schiller

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Vanessa Dark Love A vampire love story I have to thank my friend for her support. Without her, I may have never created this book Love is for fools Love is for fools Why did it have to be me out of all people on this planet.... And out of all those people I'm suddenly chosen to move to Seattle, Washington to loive my my divorced father and my mother on my back saying it isn't safe or she 'needs' me. Huh. Yeah okay, like That is going to make me stay. I packed my luggage and stuffed it into my mom's car, my mom watching with true sadness in her eyes. "Look mom, you have Taylor now. Shouldn't things be easier without me...." I trailed off when her eyes suddenly turned to stone. Publication Date: November 23rd 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-xxxgothicryxxx

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Taylor Campbell Black Riding through the gates To my friends, and family. -Riding through the gates (Revised Version of The Skater) The year was 1966, 19 year old, Alfred Roman Campbell, was the most popular and respected Skater in Ireland. He was very wealthy, with good luck, good looks, and good friends; ok I think you get it by now that he had good everything. Did I ever tell you how he became so popular? Never mind it now that’s a whole different story for another rainy day. Let’s go back to the story. Alfred didn’t really have the best childhood growing up. On a vacation to Vegas with his father, they went out for dinner and when they were leaving the Rock&Roll diner. These two black gang bangers shot one bullet at the father and he went down they took his money and said, “That’s what you get for what you did.” Alfred’s father later died that night. Alfred and his mother inherited four thousand dollars a month. Alfred didn’t know what they meant by, “That’s what you get for what you did.” Alfred didn’t really have a religion so he called himself an Alfredist. Which is the religion of Alfredism, in Alfredism, he believed nothing. Just live each day until you die. He a smart kid with great grades until he was a freshman, his mother died from drugs and alcohol. After her husband died she did all sorts of drugs, like coke, marijuana, sniffy jiffies, sally sallies, conk conks, junkie jankies, Charlie Charles, even drugs that I didn’t even know existed, like hbana Joannas, chunkie bunny’s, and gangana lamas. He quit school and lived with his best friend Christopher Kringle, who was a sex addict. Now let’s start the story. It starts with a skate park that Alfred was in. He was skating when he met a twelve year old punk who getting all of the attention, and was apparently a better skater than him. So he went up to him said, “Get your baby little punk ass out of my skate park you little piece of shit and never come back”, but what he actually said was, “Hey, you’re a great skater. How old are you.” That’s good that what he said was actually what he said, because if he said something different that would have changed his whole life. “My name is Carlos Ford, I’m twelve years old, and it’s nice to meet you. Do you want to be my friend? “Sure I would love to be your friend”. Alfred looked very happy with his new friend, but he wasn’t he was actually scared that the kid might steal his mojo, and he was also a little jealous of him. Alfred asked him if he wanted to learn some tricks from him. The kid said “Sure”. Alfred was always patient with Carlos no matter how hard it was to teach him. When Carlos tried to do a trick he would always say “Like this, like this”. “Is this how you do it”. Carlos was a great model for Alfred, and Alfred was a great Role Model to him. They soon became best of friends. They went to church together, watched movies together, and you know hung out with each other. On one Friday I believe the year was 1966, and there were going to see a movie I forgot what the title was, but it was a big deal because many people were excited about it. After the movie they were walking home. They saw police driving fast and there were many of them. One police car stopped and the police officer told them, “You guys better get home soon, and when I say soon I meant fast.” Alfred asked “what’s wrong”. The police man said there was a robbery, and shootings, and rape going around. So the police man asked them for a ride and they accepted. On the way home they were talking and laughing and having fun, just at the last turn a bullet flew through the air and went through the window. The police man went out, and he was shot in the neck immediately. The robber who was believed to be black went into that car and this is what happened. “Yo white ass kid what’s Yo name.” I’m Albert, and I’m nineteen years old sir.” So the robber told them to give him money so they did. Than they left. A cop later killed all of the criminals and gave them there money back, and gave Albert, and Carlos a huge palace to live in, and they all lived happily ever after. THE END. I wish it was the end, but I’m sad to tell you that this story isn’t like the happiest little elf. It is full of misfortune and sadness all around. Anyways back at the place where they were robbed this is what really happened. The robber got the money left told them to stay put, and went talking to another one of the criminals. “Yo what should we do with these little pieces of shit?” “I don’t know you got yourself into this.” “Just don’t kill them let them be free.” “If you don’t give me your money I’ll shoot these kids” So he did. Except that he only shot Carlos and it hit him in the neck from thirty-five feet away. Oh yeah all of the criminals ran away. They were told not to call the cops. They waited in that car for hours. Than it started to rain. As Carlos’s dying body laid in Albert’s arms, Carlos said something. “For if I die remember me, not in tears and sadness, but in Joy and happiness, and for all the fun we had together.” “I never really had a brother until I met you, I love you.” “And I love you little bro.” “Just please don’t die on me, please.” “You know something, I’m not scared to die, even though I’m fourteen and that’s young this could be my time it just could be.” There is still one good thing about this, I’ll be home soon, I’ll be riding through the gates of heaven and I’ll be with you someday, just like I’ll be with God soon.” I’ll be riding through the gates, the gates of heaven.” “He’s not going to make it, he’s not going to make it” “We did surgery and tried to remove the bullet but it was jammed deep in the esophagus we can’t get it out” “Were sorry, so sorry” “We tried” The tears of sadness fell from the eye of Alfred. Alfred remembered all of those memories he had with Carlos. All the movies he watched all the songs they sang together, and especially the words he said when he tried doing a trick that Alfred taught him, “Like this, like this.” “Is this how you do it?” Just at that second he remembered what Alfred said to him recently. “For if I die remember me, not in tears and sadness, but in Joy and happiness, and for all the fun we had together.” He was still sad but he remembered even at the last seconds of Carlos’s life, that Carlos would soon be riding at the gates of heaven. Riding through the gates, the gates of heaven. Carlos ended up dying that night, while Alfred was praying with him. Even though it was sad, Alfred knew that Carlos was in heaven, happy as can be and in no pain. Well that’s the end of the life of Carlos. Those are all the facts of this story. I know all these facts because I was there I was at every event that was motioned. Yes, I was there, I was there I was Alfred. Text: 2012 All rights reserved. Publication Date: March 17th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-evanblack1998

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Dan W.Griffin Hugely-significant vocational unpleasantness The Chicken Factory Publication Date: July 15th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-nostrangertothep45

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Toni Bryan Danny's Navel Adventure Publication Date: April 12th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-tonibryan

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Emily Kim Chained Woman Sadness This is for a friend that went through almost the same incident. And for all of those people who are suffering similar things Chapter 1 My name is Linda. I have a pet dog Jiro. He is a Jindo dog. I love him. And he loved me. My best friend, Jiro, died about two years ago. I have a messed up life. My mom and dad are divorsed, my sister had aids, and my boyfriend almost tried to kill me, and my bff Alexis backstabbed me. So this is what happened.      This is what Jiro looks like.             this what Linda looks like.     this what Linda's sister Tiffany looks like. This the mother.     This is the dad. This the family. Chapter 2  It was junior year of highschool. It was two years since my parents divorsed. My sister, Tiffany, is a slut. She probably sleeps with any guy she sees. When a guy asked me out! Tyler, a popular guy at my school. He wasn't in the football team or anything, but he was good looking, tall, musclar, and smart. He was the perfect guy for any girl, because most of all, he was sweet and kind. Or so i thought.       this is tyler. Of course i said yes! It was going perfect for me until i got a call from my sister. I groaned and answered it. When i said hello, she was crying. She said she had aids. I was shocked. I had to get home quick. Tyler understood and i got in my car (bmw silver converable) speeding home. I didn't notice the tear drops rolling down my face. I was crying. I pulled over and started sobbing. Why? I loved my sister. Why would she do this to herself? Does she have no value for herself? When i got home and told mom the horrible news, she started crying as well. I got her a cup of hot green tea with honey and she calmed dowm. I hugged her for about 5 minutes. i got my keys to go pick up Tiffany. I was mad at her now. Why? Does she have no pride? Chapter 3  I went to school that next day while Tiffany was at home facing mother's wrath. I saw Tyler and waved. He came running to me. He picked me up as i squealed. He kissed me. It was beautiful. His lips crashed into mine. Soft sweet lips. Ha, I was in love with Tyler and Tyler was more in love with me.  I was on a date with Tyler when I got a call, from the hospital? "Hello? Is this Mrs. Jones' daughter Linda?" "Yes..." "Well we are the hospital near your house. We would like to inform you, that your mother was robbed and wounded in front of her house this afternoon. She didn't survive the sergery so she will be gone soon. If you could come immediately to the hospital. Thank you." "Alright..." I was shivering. I ran to my car without a word with Tyler and drove to the hospital. She died before I got there. Tiffany was by mom's side crying. I dropped to my knees and sobbed on her bed, as i held her pale, cold hand. Thank god i just turned 18 and Tiffany was 22. Our dad didn't want to take us in so we stayed at the house we were already living in. I had a decent part time job and Tiffany was a nurse with a high salary so we were able to live a decent life without mom. I didn't eat anything but a slice of apple for a week or two. I was in shock for awhile. I cried myself to sleep everyday with Jiro comforting me. I became thin. Thin as a stick i would say myself. Alexis, my bff helped me coop with my mother's death.     This is Alexis. The ginger bff. Chapter 4 One year passed. Tiffany was still alive, but in a worse condition. It was now about one year and half that I was with Tyler. I was overcoming mom's death. I became more close to Jiro than ever before. Jiro was getting old as well. Life slowly went back to normal. Besides Tyler, Alexis has been comforting me ever since. I felt more loved than before. One month later i was in a bathroom stall at school because i felt since from my "hunger strike", when a group of girls entered the bathroom with makeup bags, including Alexis. They started whispering, " You know that bitch? What is her name, Linda? Oh yeah, that halfie bitch (half asain, half white). Yeah. She is such a bitch. I swear. You know she is with Tyler now? Word? Wasn't that Alexis's last boyfriend who dumped her? Yeah. I'm sorry Alexis. She is such a coniving bitch." Oh my god. I didn't know Tyler was Alexis's last boyfriend. Now i felt bad. Then Alexis chimed in, " That bitch. First she takes my boyfriend, then steals everyone's attention, talking about her dead mother and shit. It has already been a year now. Bitch, give it a rest. There is no way that happened. I'm pretty sure she is lying for attention. She should be with her relatives or something. I can't believe that she is living by herself. I don't believe it." Are you serious? Alexis my bff is talking shit and trash about me? No way. i had to confront her about this. But how? Too much drama for me....ughhhh....       girls gossiping. As soon as i got home, i hugged Jiro when he licked my face stained with tears. I laughed and kissed him. I got Jiro's food ready and went to work. As soon as i came back, Tiffany was on the floor. I panicked. I checked for a pulse. She was alive. I called 911 for help. As i saw them take her away. I was overflowing with emotions. I followed them to the hospital. About two hours later, they let me see her. She was asleep so i kissed her forehead and went back home praying for her to stay alive. Jiro came whimpering to me as i cried my heart out. Not my sister too....why?  Chapter 5 It was 5 months later and Jiro was sick. I took him to the vet. He had cancer. He was close to the last stage so he was unsaveable. The vet gave me two options. I came back home alone. I went into the cold dark house as i dropped to the floor and bawled. Tiffant held me in her arms. I had onlt Tiffany and Tyler left.  Life was cruel. Tiffany was getting worse and worse everyday. We decided to go on a vacation around the worlds before Tiffany died. On the trip using the family savings for college, we went to Europe, Asia, and around America. Two months later we came back. During the trip i realized that if Tyler was near me, i would be hurt more. So when we came back i told him, "Let's break up." He said okay and we went our seperate ways. I felt heartbroken, but it was for the best. A few days later on a rainy day, Tyler was at the door of our house. I opened it and he hugged me. "Come back. I'll make you happy. I swear, whatever i did wrong, I'll fix it. Please don't leave me." "Tyler, i can't. There is too much going on right now and i need some time to think and rest. I'm sorry Tyler." His grip got tighter. He pushed me to the ground and yelled, "Linda, if i can't have you, then nobody can." He started strangling me. I tried to break free, stratching his face with my nails. But nothing work. My vision was getting blurry. I slowly lost my strength to resist him. I couldn't breathe. No... I don't want to die like this. Tiffany was coming down stairs to see what the noise was. I reached for her as she screamed her lungs out. She grabbed a cooking knife from the kitchen and pointed it at him shivering. "Tyler, i swear to god, i will kill you if you don't get the fuck away from my sister." He released his grip from my neck as i coughed and wheezed for air. I crawled behind Tiffany. Tyler scoffed, "I'll be back you bitch. And next time i'll go after your sister as well..(laugh histerically)." I think he was drunk because he reeked of beer. Tiffany dropped the knife and hugged me whispering, "It's okay Linda, he's gone. Don't worry. I'll protect you sis." That was so scary and shocking that i couldn't even produce tears. I was shivering like crazy. I locked myself in my room for three days, scared that he would come back. I wish Jiro was here to comfort me. I cried while massaging my bruised and sore neck. Please god, help me, I beg you. Chapter 6  The next day. i put on a neck brace for about two weeks. I broke off contact with Alexis. Graduation was coming soon. I had to get ready. I wasn't thinking about going to college since i had to work and make money. Tiffany was in bed more often because of her aids so she couldn't make money. The Doctors said she would die within a year or less. Tyler kept bugging me to get back with him. Life was hard, everyone comforted me once in awhile. I found a new friend, Dylan. She was kind and pretty. I spent most of my time at home taking care of Tiffany. I felt that her time was coming.     Dylan, the new friend.   Dylan was nice to me, but still couldn't trust anyone. I had to go to work more often since Tiffany couldn't work. Coffee was now my best friend. I probably drank 3 cups a day since i was tired. I got quite a lot of marriage proposals from rich bussiness men who owned the companys i worked for. I was considering a young CEO who owned the company i was currently working for, named Erik, 25 years old. I was suddening thinking about the money we needed. But i was thinking more about graduation right now. I went shopping for my graduation dress that was two weeks away. Life was so busy thinking about marriages, money, school, and more. Tiffany was getting real sick so she was moved to a hospital where she got the proper care and treatment. I needed more money.     The graduation dress.   the red lace pumps.         I got my graduation dress ready withh some red lace pumps. I visited Tiffany almost everyday. I also got engaged to Erik. I was going to move my stuff to his house a week later to live with him. Tyler left me alone. I lost a lost of weight due to stress. Erik got me everything i wanted but i wasn't happy. The day before graduation, Tiffany died. I now had nothing to live for. I grabbed Tiffany's face yelling with teary eyes, "You selfish bitch. You can't leave me! Come back Tiffany. Come back sis, i need you!!!!" After graduation, I went to the funeral. The burial was about a day later. After the burial, i went to pack my things in the house. I sold the house to a grandma and grandpa. Erik came to pick me and my stuff up with a moving truck. He said he would care for me and love me. I didn't believe one word.       Erik, the young CEO. (25 years old) Chapter 7  It was the wedding day. It was suppose to be a magical moment but it wasn't for me. I felt empty inside. I couldn't live anymore.   Thas pretty wedding dress   And thas wedding ring.     Chapter 8  A week after the marriage, I slit my wrists and stepped into a tub full of water. I saw a light. I saw my mom, Tifanny, and Jiro. I was happy. At 9:30 am. on May 7,2015 Linda Jones died with a smile on her face.       Thanks.. The ENd. Author's Words  Hey everybody. Yea. i know it's dark. And yes. this is based on a true story. The whole thing isn't true. But most of it is. The reason why i called it chained women is because i felt that Linda was chained to this life and its misfortune,unable to get out of it. So I felt that she was chained to her own sad life, without a chance to live her own happy life. She thought the only way to escape it was death. Sorry it's so dark guys!!!   I was a victim of bullying, i was so tired of it that i almost tried suiciding. But i didn't and i realized how wonderful life if. If you had any kinds of hardships, please tell me personally and i can help you cope. THanks guys, because of you, i got into writing. i love you!!!!     email: emilyimlove1212@gmail.com      Please comment! Publication Date: November 29th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-xcc35a9ac3b5945

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-chalen-d-love-at-first-friend/

Chalen D. Love at first Friend. I grabbed my bag and went down stairs quietly. "Stevie?" i froze. "Yeah dad?" "See you next weekend." his voice echoed through the house, so i had no idea where he was. "Yeah, see you." i shut the door, and hurried to the curb. My dad and i saw things differently. he thinks i should be miss prim and proper. i think i should be able to be well... me. My older half brothers sports car came to a stop. "Hey Stevie Lynn." "you know no one calls me that anymore, Jett." i said, shutting the door. "Oh come on, iv'e been calling you that ever since i can remember cut me some slack." i punched his arm. "we're going to be late." i told him. he pulled away from the curb. "thanks for picking me up." "yeah, no problem." as soon as we pulled into the parking lot my two best friends came running up. i barely took off my seat belt when Mia wrenched open the door, and Harlow pulled me out of the car. "I missed you!" Mia said, pulling me in for a hug. "it's been two days." she pulled back, and Harlow gave me a hug. Jett planted a kiss on the top of my head. "see you at home, Stevie Lynn." "Bye Jett." i said, pushing his chest. he smiled, and jogged over to his friends. "your brother is so hot." "i don't want to know that Harlow." "so tell us about your Dad Visit." Mia said, linking our arms. Harlow grabbed my hand, and looked around the school as we walked to the front door. "you know Jett only has to spend Friday and Saturday with him, he get's to go home on Sunday." "well he's not really Joe's kid." Harlow said "Well, well, if it isn't Little miss Stevie Lynn, and her back up." "you used to be one of my back up, Marley." i reminded her. "As if. i wouldn't be caught dead, with you freaks." her and her friends laughed and look off. "What happened to her?" Mia asked. "Popularity, that's what happened." I said. "i don't think i can even remember the days when Marley hosted our every Friday night sleep overs." Harlow said. i could. we all grew up together. Marley was my best friend until we hit high school where she began to be a cheer leader. We were best friends know we don't even talk. "Stevie Lynn." Mia said. "Sorry." i automatically said. when ever they use my name it's cause i'm not paying attention. after the 8th grade i dropped the Lynn, and became Stevie, Rock n' roll misfit. i don't know how i got that way. Harlow, Mia, and Jett, saw me as just me. After Marley told my darkest secret me and the girls became attached at the hip. we made a pact to never betray each other, and always find time for each other. we kinda just stuck together. As we grew up we where the Colored girls, cause of our hair. Mia has, blonde, Harlow has brown, and i have black. Marley has red, and not the ugly red, really pretty red hair. we all went to class. "hey, I'll be back." i said, at lunch as i saw my brother, and his band. "Stevie!" Ronnie said, picking me off the floor. He's the drummer. "Hey Stevie Girl," the bass player said. i bumped fists with Drew. I think of her as a big sister. i bumped fists with Conner, lead singer, and Mason, the other Guitarist. "you coming to our show later to night?" Ronnie asked as i sat down. "Should i?" i asked looking at Jett. "Yeah, you always go why would this time be different?" He asked. "I dunno, maybe having your little sister as a tag along would be a little weird." "No way, you Rock!" Mason said, tapping my shoulder. "Cool, i'll see you guys later." i bumped fists with everyone, hugged Jett and went back to my table. "That is so cool, your Friends with the coolest band in school." Harlow said. "it's only cause of Jett, and they think of me as a younger sibling any way. i might be able to get them to sign something for you." "would that be lame?" she asked, sneaking a look at the band. "Yes." Mia and I said. "Ugh!" she said. "Sorry!" i called running to Jett's car. "Thank god!" he said, when he saw me. Huh? he didn't like it when i was late. i walked around the car and saw Marley and her friends around Jett. "Move or i'll run you over." I told them. they all rolled their eyed, and i got in the car. "Stevie!" my mom said, taking my face into her hands, and kissing my forehead. She slapped a kiss on Jett's forehead. "how was school?" she asked. "Are you cooking?" i asked. Jett came and looked over my shoulder, handing me a can of soda. "And nothings burning!" He said. "Ha ha." she shook her head, making her black hair fall over her shoulders. "Kids?" "Dad!" Jett yelled. he put his soda down, and ran to the hall way. "My boy!" James said, hugging Jett. "Do i get a hug princess?" he asked me. i smiled and ran to him. he caught me in a hug, and lifted me off the ground. he placed a hand on our shoulders. "How's the grades?" "good." we said. "your mother?" "Good." he clapped once and looked us in the eyes. "I have presents, come on." we followed him to his car. "Jett." he said, pulling out a blue and white guitar. "Sweet thanks dad!" Jett said, slinging on the strap, and playing. "Stevie." he said, pulling out a Leather Jacket. "No way! Thanks dad!" i said, hugging him. i pulled on the Jacket. "How do i look?" "Rockin'!" Jett said high fiving me. "Oh Dad, my bands playing tonight, can you come?" "i think i can put aside some time." James, pulled me close to him, and set a hand on his son's shoulder. "Let's see if your mom has set the house on fire." we all laughed, knowing how possible that was. "Mom look!" Jett and i said, at the same time. "Look at that!" she looked at our gifts carefully. "Where's mine?" she asked. "Yours is coming tonight." he said, kissing her. "Guys!" Jett said. "come on!" i added. they laughed. "So your not burning anything?" he asked. we went to the room, mom gave Jett for practice. We call my dad's house the dungeon and mom's the Castle. he plugged into an amp, and played. "Sounds, good soon, diner's ready though!" James called. "mom and dad's here!" Ronnie yelled. the guys grew up together. Drew was my baby sitter and fit right in with the guys. "Dude, you look like shit."Harlow said. "Thanks." i said, pulling up my new jacket. "Your jacket's cute." Mia said. "My dad bought it." "Joe!" Mia said. "No, James." Harlow said. "yeah Mia get with it." i teased her. "your on your own, for lunch, i have this paper thing for the news paper dude." Mia said. "I gotta work on my lines." Harlow said. they both looked at me. "Fine, i'll be the pathetic little sister, and go sit with Jett." i said. "awesome." Mia hugged me. Harlow hugged me next and they where gone. "hi Mr. Jones." "Stevie Lynn, there you are, i was wondering if you wanted to try out for the talent show." "No thanks." "But you have a beautiful voice." "Music is kinda Jett's thing." "Then what is yours? sitting in a large crowd, sheering him on?" "Well yeah, he's my brother." "Then what is your thing, the thing you do? think about it." didn't i say no? i rolled my eyes and went to my chair. i sat down next to Jett, and Drew. "aren't you hungry?" Jett asked. i shook my head. "She had a weird food thing when she was a kid, too." Drew said. "how about i get a soda?" "Yeah, can you get me one too? i'll pay for yours." Conner said. "Sure thing." i took the money and got some sodas. i paused as i saw Marley under a tree by herself. she looked up from her phone, and looked at me. she sat up taller, and the corners of her lips pulled up. i was about to wave until, her friends sat down and my best friend was gone. I rolled my eyes and gave Conner his soda. What's wrong with you Stevie Lynn, remember what she did to you. i blew out some air, and opened the soda. sure i missed Marley, we told each other everything. she even understood me when Mia and Harlow thought i was nuts. when i looked up Marley was watching me. she smiled, and then laughed at what her friend said. Remember. i looked away, and listened to them talk about the band. "okay, so i know that we have this party thing, for us, but i did something just for you, i should of asked, but i did it anyway." "yeah, i don't know why mom does that, where 8 months apart.... what did you do?" "Why do you say it like that? can't you trust your big brother?" "well when you say, 'i should of asked' not so much." "Come on Stevie, i know you'll like it." he grabbed my arm and pulled me to my room. "I redid your room." i opened my mouth. "before, you say how much you love me, look at it." he opened the door, and shoved me inside. my breath was taken away. I had no idea that Jett Knew me so well. "i love you!" i said, hugging him. "See i knew you'd like it." i looked through my room. there was a knock on the door. "got it!" i yelled. "what?" i asked opening the door. Marley stood on my front porch. "a girl i used to know said, fighting was so lame. think that girl could ever forgive me?" "That girl Died, when you lied." "Stevie Lynn." "Stevie." "What?" "I dropped the Lynn, you would know that if you hadn't become a bitch. i have to go see you at school." "Think about it. i really am sorry." she walked down the walk way, and i shut the door. i grabbed my phone. "Get your ass over here." "What happened?" Harlow asked. "You okay?" Mia asked. i grabbed their arms and pulled them to my room. after they got done gawking at it i told them. "Remember what she did." Harlow said. "Remember we had to put you back together." Mia said. "Photo shops a bitch." i said, flopping down on my bed. "no she's a bitch." Mia said, sitting next to me. "and he's a dick, for listening." i layed back. "i don't understand how she became such Mean person." "popularity." Mia said. we watched a movie and ate ice cream. "Hey, wait up!" Jett sad, slinging an arm around my shoulders. "what?" "I'm going to walk you to class today." "you are?" i asked, eyes wide. "Yeah, your okay, right Stevie." i told him what happened. "shit." "What should i do?" "I dunno, guys fight, and it's over, ask Drew." he said, with a shrug. "you really are the best brother." he kissed the top of my head. "Anytime little sis." he went across the hall and into his class room. "Hey loser." Marley said, coming up behind me. "Go screw yourself." i turned and saw it was just her. "we gotta talk, so you know why i did what i did." "nope." "what happened to the old Stevie Lynn?" "The old Stevie Lynn, was back stabbed by her 'BFF'." i went into the class room. "Stevie." i shook her off, and sat down. "this isn't over!" she looked around and hurried down the hall. after school we walked to the park and sat on a bench. "You never do anything fun!" Harlow said to me. i looked around. a kid with black hair and piercing blue eyes, wearing an all time low hoddie sat alone on a bench. he looked upset. "dare me to kiss that guy?" i asked. "Yes!" "No!" both of their eyes where wide. i got up and went to him. he looked up at me curiosity sparking in his blue eyes. i put my hands on the bench and kissed him. he froze and then kissed me back. i didn't expect him to so i opened my eyes. his were closed. i pulled back and stared at him. "I'm sorry about that" i blushed, taking a step back, "I'm going to go now." "Oh" He said as you walked back towards your friends. Mia's eyes were angry. "Stevie Lynn!" she said, smacking my arm. "what?" i asked rubbing it. "do you know who that is?" she demanded. i looked at Harlow, who was just as baffled as me. "That's Karson King. He just lost his little sister." I looked over at Harlow. it felt like i was hit in the stomach with the punch of guilt. he was mourning his little sister and some random girl kisses him. that made me no better than... Marley. i looked up but he was gone. "damn it." i said, getting up and waling down the stone path. "Karson?...Karson!... Shit." a strong wind blew my hair forward. i dragged a hand through my hair. "Let me say sorry!" "Just leave me alone." he was sitting in a low tree. i swung my leg over the branch. "i'm sorry, i didn't know." he looked away from me, and i wished he'd look at me. I took his hand, and he looked at me. i Swallowed as i saw the anger in his eyes. "I'm a pretty good listener." i offered carefully. he looked at our hands, and his closed around mine. he told me that he was supposed to go home, and he was running late. when he got home he didn't know someone was in the house. his sister shrieked his name right before she was shot. he ran to her and held her to her last breath. i didn't know what to say to that. he looked up into the angry gray sky, as the fist of many tears, spilled over and ran down his cheeks. "i'm sorry." i whispered. what if Jett had to hold me? pain ripped at my core, and i held into my chest. "why are you listening to me?" he swiped at his face. "everyone needs someone to listen to them." he jumped down from the tree. he grabbed me waist and lowered me down like i was a feather. "I'm Stevie." "Yeah, Marley's old friend." "Yeah." "why do you say it like that?" he actually laughed. "we're not really friends." "you can tell me another time." "thanks, Karson." "sure, i'll uh, see you tomorrow at school." the next day at school, Mia ran to the parking lot like she was running a marathon. "Stevie!" she yelled, waving like no tomorrow. i lifted up my hand. to hands came down on my shoulders. i was spun around and was face to face with Cody Jess. "Hey Stevie Lynn." he smirked. i stared at him open mouthed. Cody is the reason why i'm not friends with Marley. He's my crush since i was 9 and Mia's older brother. he pressed his lips to mine, and took off for the doors. "i tried to warn you are you okay?" i nodded mouth still open. Harlow made her way over to us. "Dude." she said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "what's he doing here?" i asked. "he moved back." Mia said, slowly. "i'm good, i'm okay." i said. "No, go away, i don't like you." Marley said, walking away from Cody. Cody looked at me and smiled. his smile faded, as someone put their arm around me. i folded into Jett's side, as he stared at Cody. Cody, looked away, and then hurried down the hall. "Thanks Jett." "If he bugs you i want you to find me." he hugged me to him, and then walked up to Ronnie. Ronnie looked at me nodded once, and they left. "I'll warn my brother." Mia said, leaving. "come on kid." Harlow said, linking our arms. "Dude!" Mia laughed. "What?" Harlow asked. "Dude," Mia laughed again. "What?" i asked. "Dude." Mia said, laughing. "What? What! damn it!" Harlow asked, reaching for her neck. hands clamped over my eyes. "Guess who." "Your a dork Karson." he laughed and sat next to me. "So i was thinking-" "Hey Stevie Lynn, you look good." Cody said, walking by. "Is that your boyfriend?" "No." i said, looking down. "You okay?" "He's just...him." i said, rolling my eyes. i heard arguing. i turned and Jett was yelling at Cody. "You already hurt her stay away!" "What if she doesn't want me to go away." "I"m warning you." Jett said, getting in his face, "Unlike you, I'm very protective of my little sister." Jett turned and walked away. everyone started talking. "I gotta go, meet me at the park?" "Yeah." i said, as he got up. "Hey." i said, sitting next to Karson. "hey," his smile was bright. "i got paired up with Cody." i noticed a flash of jealousy in Karson's eye's and my heart picked up. "you don't really like him do you?" he asked, not making eye contact. i bit my lip against the smile that died to break through. "i might give him a chance, he is pretty hot." I teased. "Are you kidding?" "Nope." Karson tackled me and covered my mouth with his hand. Jealousy and pain was clear in his eyes, as he sat above me. "Please stop" He whispered, "Don't say things like that." "Why not?" i muttered into his hand. He scrunched his eyebrows together and moved his hand from my mouth. "Why not?" i repeated. "It makes me feel like I don't have a chance" he bent down and kissed me. it felt like someone lit off a million fire works deep with in my core. my breathing picked up and i held onto his neck. he pulled away. he sat with his Legs to his chest, not making eye contact with me. "I shouldn't of done that. I'm sorry." he said, lowly. i layed on my back out of breath. he looked down at me. my mouth was opened a little and no words came out. He smiled and kissed me again. "I really like you, Stevie. A lot." his blue eyes seemed to trap me with in their depths. "I really like you to. i just didn't say anything." i said, in a small voice. he laughed. "what?" he stopped and smiled down at me. "i love your eyes." he said. i opened my mouth but he kissed me. i sat at the table drinking a soda. Karson was totally cute, but i still didn't know if we were together, or if it was a one time thing. i couldn't just got up to him, and say hey, and kiss him. Or could i? Karson came across as a shy person. i know this cause every time i look over at him catching him watching me he bites his lip and looks away. i smiled, when i thought of him doing that. then there was Cody the asshole. he couldn't keep coming up to me and claiming my lips for his own. he was way to big to push away, so i couldn't really do that. I remember when Cody used to be the Geeky kid from next door. then he decided to become popular, just like Marley had. Marley. i cringed at the thought of her name. "Hey, you okay?" James asked. "Yeah, Boy problems." "well i'm a boy... or at least i was, why don't you tell good ol' dad your problems?" i stared at him, as if he spoke a different language. "Yeah, you probably wouldn't like to talk to me, why don't you call your friends?" "No!" i said, both arms in front of me. his eye brows pulled together. "they wouldn't understand this, and don't tell Jett, about any of this." "okay. i hope you get this solved." "me to dad. me too." i grabbed my soda slid of the stool and went to my room. i set the soda on my night table, and layed on my back, looking up at the roof. there was a knock on my door. "Go away." i said, standing. "No, your going to hear why i did what i did." Marley grabbed my arms and sat me on the bed. "The only reason i joined the cheer team is cause i like to dance." "You like to dance?" she smiled. "I love it. but i had to stop hanging out with you, cause they didn't see you as popular. if i wasn't mean to you i'd get kicked off. The Photoshop pics were you where making out with another guy, i didn't do those. Kamma did. She told me to bring them to Cody. i had no idea what they where. that's when you came to the party. he was hurt so he made out with me, in front of you. when we went up stairs we didn't do anything. he told me that he loved you, and he was hurt." she took a breath. i let it all sink in. "you where my best friend." i said, looking at the floor. i tore my gaze away and looked at her. "you broke my heart, Marley." "I know, i had no idea what the pictures where, and i was shocked when Cody kissed me. he knew you liked him. he knew you where shy, and damn it i was so frozen i didn't push him away." she fell into my computer chair. "do you hate me?" she asked in a small voice. "i don't hate people i really dislike them." "do you really dislike me?" she stared at the floor waiting for my answer. "i really really dislike you." she nodded. "but that was before i knew you didn't know about the pictures." she stood up, wiping at her face. "But how can i trust you that you didn't know?" "you can trust me Stevie Ly- i didn't know, and to you i promise. i understand if you want nothing to do with me." i stood. Marley shuffled back and forth on her feet. "I really missed you." i said, shaking my head. "Stevie." she took a step to me but stopped when i looked up at her. "i'm so sorry." "are you just saying that to say it?" "no. i'm saying it cause i mean it. i hurt you badly, i can see it in your eyes. I'm so sorry, i just wanted you to know that i'm sorry, even if you don't want to be my friend." i sat on my bed. "I met someone." "yeah?" she sniffed. She sat in front of me. "yeah, he's really sweet, and i know he likes me." i looked up at her and gave a little smile. "problem is he's so shy." "Don't you just hate that!" "Yes!" we hugged each other tightly. "I'm so sorry, i never meant to hurt you. you know i love you Stevie. i quit the cheer team." "you did?" "Yeah, back to you, what's his name?" "Karson." she nodded. "you know him?" "no." she said, giving a smile and a shrug. "oh that's right, you only know the self absorbed." i looked up at her. "i'm sorry." "i deserve that." "no you don't." "you where always so sweet." "yeah, i get hurt cause of it." "Yeah." she said, biting her lip. "i don't think we can ever be friends in the same way." "I totally get that." "good. I'm not sure if Harlow and Mia will forgive you, and i'm going to choose them over you, every time. i know it sounds bad, but that's what happens." "i get it." she nodded. i blew out some air. "jeesh, we live in a fucked off world." i said. "tell me about it." she laughed once. "I'm really glad to have you back. even if your just my friend." i laughed. she pulled me in for a hug by my neck. "Friends?" "for now." i said, with a smile. the next day at school, Marley met up with me. "Hey." "Whoa, your really talking to me?" "Shut up dork." she laughed linking our arms. "What the shit?" Harlow asked, coming over with Mia in toe. "It wasn't her fault." i quickly filled them in. Mia hugged Marley. Harlow just stared at her. "I'm watching you." she said, eyes narrowed. i bit my lip to keep from laughing. "you guys remember that doll we got when we were nine? the one where they look like us? i still have mine." Marley said, hanging her head in shame. "No way me too!" Mia said. "Mines on a shelf." Harlow said. "I think mine is at the back of my closet." i admitted. we all looked at each other and laughed. "Marley." Kamma said. "I quit." Marley said, as we passed her. "Whatever." Kamma said. i went to get a soda, as the girls got a seat. I turned as i saw Cody making his way to me. there was a tap on my shoulder. i turned around and looked up into Karson's blue eyes. "Hey." he smiled. "Hi." he bent down. "what?" i asked. "It's okay that i kiss you right?" i pressed my lips to his. "It's very okay." "There's this thing i was meaning to ask you-" "Stevie Lynn." "Hey, Cody." i said, jumping a little when he said my name. "i was wondering if we could hang out after school?" Karson turned and left. "Not a good idea." i went after Karson. "Why not?" "Look i gotta go." i said, trying to pull away from him. "Stevie-" "Bye Cody." i ran through the front doors and looked around. Marley waved fast at me. when i looked over at her she pointed to my left. i looked over and saw Karson walking down the hall. i ran after him. "Karson!" he turned just in time for me to crash into him. i grabbed him by the jacket and kissed him. "i really like you Karson. a lot." he smiled a lop sided grin, that made my heart skip. i became the shy one and bit my lip. i could see the humor in his eyes. he bent down and kissed me. "get a room!" some kid said. it was 7 pm and the band was freaking out. "Where is he?" Drew asked, looking at the back door. "Conner's never late." Ronnie said, sitting down. "We should just give up." Mason said. "This is to important, this is make it or break it time, guys." Jett said. Conner ran to us. "Yes!" Drew said. Conner gave me a paper. "Guys, Conner lost his voice what now?" i asked, holding up the paper. "Shit." Ronnie said. Jett looked around us. i took a deep breath. "Guys just go on, i have you covered." "You got a singer?" Jett asked. "Yeah, sorta." "We'll take it." Mason said, getting on the stage. "Hey everyone we're The Breakers." Jett said. everyone yelled. "Our lead singer lost his voice, so we have a sub. hope they're good." they began to play. i grabbed a mic, and held it it my hand loosely. Jett's counting on you. I brought the Mic to my mouth. "You laugh out loud at all the wrong times, your yourself and they just don't understand." i pushed open the curtain and walked through. "Say what you will, i'm myself. you look at me as if i lost my mind, but i just want to heard." after the song, everyone stood up and yelled. "Thank you, We're the Breakers, and that's my little sister Stevie!" everyone yelled, and i basically flew off the stage. "you sing!" Jett said, coming to me. "yeah." "Why didn't you say anything?" "Music's your thing." "Music's everyone's thing." he said. A group came over to us, pulling him in. "Dude, i had now idea you were into music!" Marley grabbed my hand and pulled me to the wall, where Harlow and Mia were sitting on the floor. i sat down and Harlow gave me a opened can of soda. "I didn't spike it if your wondering." "What are we doing tonight?" Marley asked. we all looked at her. "What?" "I go to my dad's on the weekend. i won't be back, till Monday." "Oh," she said, taking a drink. "Stevie ready? We're already late." Jett said. i kissed Harlow and Mia, gave Marley a half-hearted hug and let Jett pull me to my feet. when we got my dad's house it was dark and cold. the floors are a black hard wood, and the walls are gray. "Is he home?" i asked, Jett. "Kids?" we looked at each other. "Run!" we said, running up the stairs. i took a shower and got into bed. the next morning the sky was over cast. i went to the mail box. "Stevie?" i turned at my name. "Karson!" i said, dropping the mail. i looked down at my old t-shirt. "Hey there." he came over to me. "Your cute when you blush." of course my face went even hotter. "What are you doing here?" "I uh, what are you doing here?" i asked. "I live here." he pointed to the house behind him. "Okay, this is my lazy outfit." i said. he pulled me against him. "Well shit, thanks for telling me, i thought you where going to run for beauty queen." "i not messing around." i said. "neither was i." "You really think i'm pretty?" "I think your beautiful." he said. "Don't hide your face, it's cute." he bent down and kissed me. We spent the weekend together. "Hey can i talk to you." i turned to tell Cody off, but he looked like the Geeky kid from next door. my heart squeezed. i nodded. "I know that your with Karson, but-" "How come you believed me over them?" "I guess i wasn't thinking. i was kinda hurt." "You should of asked." "I know, think we could be friends again ever?" his face looked shy instead of Cocky. i wanted nothing more than to pull him into a hug. so i did. he let out a breath and hugged onto me. "I missed you." he said. "Yeah. me too." we pulled away. maybe this time it would be different. maybe if i gave everyone a fresh start, i could give myself one too. Publication Date: August 10th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-chalen

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-sarah-bellinger-dying-with-you/

Sarah Bellinger Dying With You She looked down the street at the red flashing lights. Then she heard the wailing. She tried to run towards her little brother’s voice, but the road was falling beneath her feet, and soon she fell into the black hole beneath her. She heard a whisper, “Caia, Caia,” it said. Text: I do not own the cover photo, but I own everything else. All rights reserved. Publication Date: January 12th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-momomarshmallow

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-serena-wood-truth-of-dark-pasts/

Serena Wood Truth of Dark Pasts Chapter 1 - "Change" "Get out of my way, loser" the voice emits through the cluster of people in the hall and instantly I recognize the voice. River Pettit (a girl I'd known as my best friend up until a year ago) shoves me out of her way with more force than needed, knocking me over to show off to her new "friends". I look up at her, stunned. She chuckles and it's this hateful, unnatural sound that I've never heard her use towards me before everything changed. She use to have such a kind dispositon, at least around me, and two years ago neither of us would have ever imagined she would bully me the way she is now.  Of course there was always something different about her, she always seemed to hide something from me. The girl always walked around like she had some dark cloud over her, for obvious reasons she seems to have that cloud over her more often now. I’ve known her all my life, so despite the fact that she seems so cold and secretive, we actually became best friends. I don't know if it was because I had known her so long or we just naturally ended up getting along, but regardless she somehow became the only close friend I had most of the time. But of course I had to go and mess things up last summer. I honestly don’t know how she stayed my friend as long as she did, at least 6 years without so much as a complaint. We'd been friends ever since she moved her at the age of 12 all the way up to our Juinor year together. I should have taken that as some kind of a hint, since none of my other friends had been around that long in the past. But despite that knowledge I didn’t expect to screw anything up. After all it was just a normal day, in the middle of summer break and we’d spent the whole day at the beach. Everything seemed fine, great actually. Until we were about to go home, that is. We were packing up our towels when a pair of boys came up to us. the shaggy haired blonde crouched down beside River, “Need any help there, gorgeous?” “No thank you.” she muttered back, not even looking up at him as she put away her towel. “Hmm, well where you headed to? there’s an ice cream shop not too far from here we’re going to, maybe you can join us?” The boy continued. “No thanks, we’re going to Ellie’s house to watch movies. Right Ellie?” She looked over at me and it became clear that she wanted back up in order to get away from the boys. “Y-yeah.” I mumbled in response. At that point the boy snickers “But it would be a lot more fun at my house, why don’t you ditch the freak and we’ll go there now?” The darker haired boy behind him chuckled nervously and shifted his weight, clearly not wanting to get into as much trouble as his friend intended too. “Excuse me?” River glared at both of the boys, a clear warning to just leave but only the darker haired boy seemed to pick up on it, backing up slightly. “Come on, you’re probably hanging out with her out of pity. I’m saving you, you know.” “Who the hell do you think you are? Who I hang out with is my business and as a matter of fact if I were to pity anyone, it would be you.” River growled but the boy clearly didn’t look like he was going to give up and his friend sensed that “Hey Ryan, can we go before the ice cream shop closes? I need to change out of these clothes and they’ve got the only bathroom around here.”  the boy squeaks out but Ryan doesn’t give him so much as a glance in response. “You have no reason to pity me, hot stuff. But that thing on the other hand, I can see why you would pity her. overweight, with that stupid look about her, I think I even see a unibrow. You’re pretty nice too hang around that.” The boy just kept going and by the time he had finished, little tears had already started to slip out despite me trying to contain them. “Just get lost, asshole.” is River’s only reply to his comment. She stood up, with her stuff in hand and pulled me gently to my feet. But before I could even take a step the boy chuckled again and pushed me down before I knew what was happening. I sat in the sand for a moment, confused. Then Ryan fell down beside me and I looked up to realize River had slapped him right off his feet. “C’mon, El. Let’s go.” River offered her hand and pulled me too my feet again, actually succeeding at her escape this time. We managed to leave the beach without anymore conflict from either of the boys and by the time we reached my house, my tears had dried. River started the newest scary movie that she had gotten earlier that day and we plopped down on the couch. Even though I tried my best to focus on the movie, I found I couldn’t really focus on anything but what happened at the beach. Not even half way through the movie, River picked up on it. “Hey, quit worrying about those jerks. They don’t know what they’re talking about.” River nudged my arm, drawing me out of my thoughts. “I don’t know… maybe.. he’s right.” the thought that had been reiterating in my head since we left the beach finally managed to escape from my throat against my own will. “That’s bull shit, Ellie. He was just an asshole, you’re perfect.” was her quick rebuttal. For the whole past school year I had started to feel like maybe I had started to develop the slightest hint of a crush on the girl, but it had never really come to the surface to cause a problem. Until that moment, that is. “You really think that?” I muttered, doubtful of her words. She leaned closer, as if she had some kind of secret to tell me and my heart started to beat faster at her close presence. “Look, don’t tell anyone I have a soft side. But you’re like the most important person in the world to me. You have a great personality, especially compared to the people around here; and I think you’re adorable. So stop worrying about those other assholes.” She finished up her little speech and all I could do was stare at her silently. I don’t really know what happened next, it all seems to blur in my mind and I’ve come to think it’s because I wasn’t really in control of my actions. I leaned forward, coming in contact with what I soon found out were her lips and I remember this berry sent and a sweet flavor. Before I found myself pushed against the armrest, my shoulders feeling like they had been hit by a linebacker. I snapped out of the daze and looked up to find River picking up her things. “Wh-where are you going?” “Home.” was her simple reply, she seemed to have this angry tone in her voice, a tone I always feared when she used it on others. “But…” my brain suddenly put together the puzzle pieces and I finally realized what happened. “I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to..” I stammered out but she quickly cut me off, “Whatever, just… don’t talk to me right now. I need to clear my head.” and just like that she had left without another word. She didn’t talk to me for the rest of the summer and by the time school started back up, she’d made new friends and her bullying towards me started. Now I’ve been putting up with her and her friends' bullying me for nearly six months. Chapter 2 - "Settling in"   “Miss Stone?” The voice pulls me out of my thoughts at last and I look away from River’s hateful glare to look up at the teacher hovering over me. “Are you okay?” she asks and I can only manage a nod before being guided to my feet. “Come with me, please.” The teacher, who I soon recognize as our school counselor, Ms. Robin Asher, pulls on my arm gently and grabs River’s as she walks down the hall. We get to the end of the hall and she turns us to the left and sends us straight into the Guidance office. “Sit down.” she orders, before seating her own self in her office chair. “I don’t have time for this, I’m going to be late for class.” River protests, with her arms crossed and stands near the door as if she’ll be allowed to just walk out as she pleases. I on the other hand sit cautiously in one of the two seats infront of Ms. Asher’s desk. “Sit down, River.” she grumbles, already seeming to lose her patience with the girl. Muttering under her breathe, River sits down beside me. “Do you want to explain why you pushed Ellie around like that?” Ms. Asher keeps her attention on the darker skinned girl, locking her green eyes on River’s brown ones. “She was in my way, I’m late for class now cause of the lil bitch. can I just go now?” at that she gets the most hateful glare from Ms. Asher that I’ve ever seen the usually calm teacher use. “Watch your language and I should have you two sent to the office. They can make you miss the whole class, maybe call your parents. Now is that what you want?” “No.” River sits back in her seat and goes quiet. Which leaves me as a target to be spoken to. “Do you have anything you want to say, Ellie?” I look over at River fearfully and she gives me this death glare. I instantly shake my head no in reply to Ms. Asher’s question. She goes silent for a moment, thinking about what to do. “River, I’ll write you a referral and then you can go to the office.” River sits up straight and her eyes widen, “You’re writing me up? For what?!? I didn’t do anything!” the tone she uses makes me shrink back into my seat in an effort to hide. “You can tell that to the principal then.” the tired looking counselor mumbles as she writes out the referral. She finishes the referral and motions for River to stand. River stands up and snatches the paper out of her hand, but not before kicking me in the shin. As she stomps out of the room I start to stand. “You stay here for a minute, Ellie. I need to talk to you.” instantly I sit back down and wait for her to continue speaking. “Are you sure there’s nothing you want to talk to me about? Anything involving River perhaps?” I shake my head almost without a second thought, I’ve gotten so use to not talking to anyone about things when I know I probably should. For a brief second I consider telling her the truth but I’ve learned not to trust people. “No, I’m fine.” I mutter in order to make the nod seem more confident even though I doubt it looks that way. “... Alright. But if you do want to talk, I’ll be here and if she gives you problems come to me… As a matter of fact you can come in here during lunch if you’d like, I hardly ever have students in here. Does that sound okay?” she looks at me with those green eyes, only they look a lot warmer and nicer than they did when they looked at River. At least I haven’t given this lady a reason to be angry with me. “Y-yes mam.” I squeak out and finally she allows me to leave. I find my way back to class and sit through a lesson on World War Two without River there to disrupt anything. But eventually the bell rings and I find myself walking slowly to lunch. I reach the crowded area and the first person I recognize is River, standing at the table closest to the door. With all her “friends” around her. I try to walk by them, try to become invisible as I walk by their table. But one of the blonde girls trips me before I can escape and their reign of torment begins. “oops, my bad Fugly.” the blonde snickers, the painful ring of that nickname already making my eyes tear up. “Here, let me help you up.” the blonde pulls me to my feet before the others crowd around me and somehow in the mist I get pushed into the table. The crowd’s noise level rises and again I’m pushed, this time away from the table. “Get away from our table, freak. We don’t want your freak germs.” sneers the same blonde that had tripped me to begin with. I sniffle and scramble away blindly, winding up in the lunch line. I’d been able to put up with their hateful remarks and the occasional bully for most of my life. They never seemed to bother me like this with River at my side, but now that she’s deemed me not friend worthy, it seems as if their need to bully me has increased. It’s almost as if River has given them more reasons to bully, no doubt she’s probably been spreading rumors. I get my lunch and once I’m out of the line I find myself standing off to the side staring at that table of hateful teenagers. I’d gotten rather tired of being vexed by that girl for the one mistake I made and her “friends” seem even more relentless today. So after someone decides to grumble at me to move, I make the decision to take up Ms. Asher on her offer to hide in her room. I make my way to her room and sit cautiously at the one table she has in the corner of the room by the door. “Hi, Ellie.” she looks up from her own lunch to smile at me kindly. Before I can push out an awkward reply, she speaks again, “What are you doing here, sweetie?” I look at her worriedly, as if she didn’t really offer for me to be here, or if she’s going to turn on me like the others had. “You said I could come here… I can go…” I stand up almost instantly, preparing to flee but she stops me. “No, No, I was just curious. I didn’t think you would really come here, you can stay. Please, the silence is driving me to insanity.” she gestures for me to sit back down and as should be expected, I follow the wordless order. After I’m seated, she studies me for a while, watching me like a doctor might watch a mental patient. After a minute, she goes back to nonchalantly eating her salad. “So why did you come here?” she asks after a moment. I sit there, unmoving, not wanting to remember the people I ran from. “Um, I just… did.” she stares at me quizzically and it’s clear I should have come up with something less idiotic to say. “You didn’t want to hang out with your friends?” the question strikes a cord in my heart and I can’t help the answer that leaves me as I lower my head “I… I don’t have any friends.” she stares at me with disbelief “Well surely you have to have some friends.” she states and I shake my head slightly before I can stop myself. I think back on all the people I use to be friends with, most of them I had angered in some way, or because of other people they just gradually stopped talking to me. Other’s either moved away or became so distant and hardly seen that I stopped talking to them. And then there’s River. I guess she falls into the category of friends I’ve made angry with me. “I use to have a few friends but… people have a habit of leaving.” I mutter in response and glance up at her briefly before hiding in my lunch tray. She sighs out, as if she’s disappointed. “That’s a damn shame… I know this might sound like the worst idea, but I’d be glad to be your friend if the idea of being friends with a stuffy teacher doesn’t bother you.” she jokes, smiling at me when I glance up. “T-thank you.” I mumble, not exactly willing to make more friends after all that’s happened, but I don’t think there can be any harm in it. She is just a teacher after all, even if I’m not making friends at least I have somewhere to stay during lunch, just to escape the outside world. “You’re welcome, friend.” the word strikes me as odd, foreign even, but I push it aside and go back to picking at my food in silence; eventually becoming comfortable enough to eat my food rather than just staring down at it as if I would be harmed if I did anything otherwise. The rest of lunch passes in a silent, quick blur of time. Before I know it, I’m drifting through my classes and then the day is over. Then the week is over. I finally settle into this routine by the end of the second week, growing accustomed to the peaceful lunches in Ms. Asher’s room. Monday of the next week comes along just like all the others, nothing special about the endless, boring classes. I still get the usual snickers and comments from the bitches River now associates herself with. Each day, my only hope is to get out of there as quickly as possible, ignoring their cruelty until I’ve reached my safe haven. Every day this week, when I reach her room nearly in tears, I talk to Ms. Asher a little more. Starting with short, timid sentences until by friday she’s gotten whole conversations out of me. Not too long before the last lunch bell rings, she makes a comment that I call her by her first name, saying each time she hears “Ms.” it reminds her of her mother. “Have a good weekend, sweetie.” she smiles as I leave, saying the same basic words she does every day before I end up going to my next class. The rest of the day seems to fly by, like it always does after lunch time. Everything before is just so sluggish and almost unbearable. I’m thankful, as always, when we’re released with the last bell. Chapter 3 - "Return of the Vixen"   The first semester of the year is over and this week we’re moving on to new classes. I’ve successfully made it through my first class and I stare down at my schedule as I walk to my next class. I put the piece of paper away when I bump into some guy, who glares at me. I realize, only after I’ve passed him who it is. Instantly it clicks in my head that he was Ryan and I sigh in dread that he goes to the same school. But luckily we hadn’t met until now so maybe there’s a chance we’ll never cross paths. Despite that thought, I know better; he’ll become one of my many tormentors. Sighing, I reach my second class. I nearly freeze in the doorway, spotting River in the second row. If it hadn’t been for the jock that pushed me into the classroom, I would have probably ran and hid. But much to my dismay, he does push me inside and I find myself sitting in the assigned seat two desks behind River. I mentally thank the Robertsons twins for having the only last name that stood between River and I. But still, I’m in too close of a proximity to her. Old emotions come rushing back to me. I have over an hour of class time to just think as the teacher goes through the same first day blabber that I’ll be hearing all day. Now that I am thinking, and now that I’m just near River reminds me that I haven’t really let myself think. Ever since that day I kissed her and she walked out on me, I’ve involuntarily pushed all of my thoughts and feelings towards her to the back of my mind. Of course I had that whole rest of the summer to self loath about the stupid mistake I’d made and the friendship I’d lost. But then school started, the bullying began and I never really came to terms with how I thought about the girl I’d known as my best friend up until such a sudden hault. Of course it wouldn’t take me an hour to figure that out. The teacher drones on, but I’ve stopped listening to him, in fact I never started; I’d been staring at River since I’d walked in and thoughts just kept racing. She turns around to pass papers back to one of the Robertson twins and I get a glance at her. She seems to notice me and for a brief second, our eyes lock. All in that quick glance, I realize that she’s meant more to me than just a best friend for a long while, maybe even before that “mistake” had happened. I don’t know what it is in this quick second that makes me see that, I don’t even know why I would think such a thought in the first place considering how she’s been treating me. But there’s just something about the way she looked back at me, as if there was some struggle going on behind those brown eyes. Maybe, for just a quick second, she regrets it. Maybe for just a moment, I get a glance at the River I knew. The River I cared so much for. But in an instant she’s gone again, she’s replaced by this glaring, hateful River for a second more before she whirls around in her desk and avoids all eye contact for the rest of the class. Lunch rolls around and I find myself walking, almost mindlessly, to the lunch line. I don’t get stopped today, I just get these cold death glares from the “Bitch Table” as I’ve come to know it as. I find the oddly silent glares strange and clearly threatening. Nothing good can come from this new change. I wait in the line and get my food, making it through that whole endeavor without any interruptions. But now I have to endure one more tough part, getting past the “Bitch Table” in order to enter the halls and escape. I walk cautiously by, staring at my feet in an effort to not be seen as a potential target. But my efforts always seem to go unrewarded. “Hey, Freak.” again that same blonde girl stops me in my tracks. I stop and glance up at her timidly. “Yes, I’m talking to you. Get over here, dumbass.” Despite my better judgements, I follow her order like I always do. Follow orders. “My boyfriend wants to talk to you.” she states, sitting back in her seat properly so that the boy can talk around her. Against my own will, I move closer to make the conversation easier. I soon recognize her boyfriend as Ryan. “You’re that lil freak from the beach, aren’t you?” he moves around his girlfriend to get a better look, she snickers as she eats her food; reaching out to hold his hand. I don’t offer a reply, he doesn’t give me the chance to anyway. “I knew you looked familiar.” he pauses to chuckle, “I told you River pitied you last year. Funny how things turned out, isn’t it?” he chuckles again and a few of the others at the table join in. for once I don’t see River there and I’m kind of thankful, seeing her join in on the taunting always made it hurt at least ten times more. The blonde stops eating her food, looking back up to me at Ryan’s words. “I honestly don’t know how River stayed friends with you for so long. I mean, I couldn’t stand being in such an awkward friendship.” she snickers and I honestly don’t know why I stayed here this long. I should have walked away instead of stopping, but now that I’m here I know I’ll have to speak up eventually. “It wasn’t awkward, she use to be nice before…” I don’t know what I was going to say. “Before she joined the bitch posse.”? it was probably something along those lines, it would just come out of my mouth stammered and awkward. But it doesn’t matter what I was going to say because the blonde finishes my sentence with this evil smile on her face. “Before you tried to make out with her?” her words stun me and for a moment I stand there, dumbfounded. “W-what are you talking about?” I try to act like I don’t know what she’s talking about, try to act like it never happened. How did she know? Had River told her? Did our friendship mean that little to her that she would just tell these fake friends something she knew they would taunt me with? Tears start to well up in my eyes again and I blink quickly in an effort to push them back. “She’s my best friend, so of course I would ask.” hearing the blonde say those words only make the hurt increase. “She never gave me a clear answer but that’s what we all assumed and your expression just confirmed it.” She, along with the rest of the table, start to laugh at me, mocking me. I mentally curse myself for being so easy to read. Defeated, I shuffle back, preparing to leave but something stops me. My back bumps into a warm body, halting our movements with startled ‘umphs’ pulled from both of us. I don’t have to see her to know it’s River. That little known fact along with the force of bumping into her, makes my knees feel like they’re going to give out on me. On instinct her hands reach out, steadying me with two soft hands on either side of my waist. I don’t know what to do, I just want to run away like I always do, but I can’t now with her blocking me from escape. I’m surrounded. I try to calm myself, trying to remain level headed so escape will still be possible. I find my mind on River’s hands, it’s the first thing to come to mind and the thought instantly calms me. My old reflexes come back, thinking her to be no threat, thinking she’s still my friend and she’ll protect me. But my old memories of her are wrong and all in the quick moment it takes for the ‘bump’ to happen, the blonde makes quick work to continue her taunting; like it’s her job to do so. “Careful, River. The freak probably still has the hots for you.” for whatever reason, that’s the last straw. I know now I have no chance. Escape is now all but gone. I forget I’m still holding my lunch tray in shaking hands. my lims lose control and the tray slips, falling to the ground. The food that was carefully organised on top of it flies in all directions, most of it going on the blonde’s shoes and skinny jeans. If I wasn’t in such a state, I would have laughed at the bitch, getting what she deserved. Involuntarily, a giggle does slip out of me and she stands up, actually angry at me. All of the taunting in her leaves and it’s replaced with actually anger, maybe even hate. “You got your food on me, you chubby little bitch.” she growls, picking up a napkin to wipe some of it off. River walks around me, staring at the both of us quizzically. Something in me snaps at the blonde girl in front of me. Even though I never stand up to them, a come back slips out of me. “I may be chubby but at least I’m not an anorexic bitch.” the girl freezes at the muttered response. “What did you just say to me, Freak?” she throws the towel down on the table and glares at me, taking a step forward. But still, for some idiotic reason I don’t back down. River seems to sense the stupidity seeping from my actions and she reaches out to grab the other girl’s arm. “Let it go, Chloe. Before…” her sentence goes unfinished because I had already started to spill out my stupid comment.“You heard me, skank.” Chloe’s eyes widen at that. It looked as if two bombs had just exploded inside her pupils. River tries to pull her away, but despite the darker girl’s efforts, Chloe pulls free and before I know it, I’m being punched. The force knocks me off balance but I regain my footing and in a lame attempt I try to fight back by pushing her away. It does little to nothing and she quickly hits me again, this time knocking me off my feet. “Chloe stop.” I hear River’s voice but it’s quickly drowned out by the sound of ringing and my face’s sudden contact with the floor. The cheek that isn’t pressed against the filthy floor burns with what I can only guess was a result of a kick to the face. Lesson learned: never call one of the Bitch Trolls a skank. the thought sings out quietly before another sharp pain shoots through my abdomen. She’s still kicking me? I look up cautiously to find that the rest of the Bitch Posse has circled me. “Let’s show this freak a lesson.” before I can even think more pain starts to shoot through me in all different parts of my body. They’re all kicking me now. I don’t know what to do, I just lie there, scrunched up in the fetal position. I hear all kinds of noise buzzing around me. One voice in particular stands out in the crowd. “Chloe that’s enough, stop. You guys are hurting her.” is that… River? No, no, I must be imagining it. “Good.” is the last thing I hear that I can manage to translate. Everything else just becomes noise. And pain. And panic. Something stops the kicking, the crowd disintegrates. I knew in the back of my mind that the teachers would hear all of the noise eventually, but it felt like an eternity before they had finally stopped the other students. I lay there for a few minutes, motionless, scared to move or even open my eyes. As if their rescue was just a dream and showing any signs that I’m awake or alive would ruin my dream and I would be instantly swarmed with more pain and noise. “Ellie?” I recognize Robin’s voice almost instantly and I struggle to open my eyes. She must have been one of the teachers to break up the crowd. “Ellie?” the sound reaches my ears again, only this time sounding more concerned. A strangled sound of pain crawls up my throat when I try to respond in anyway, by speaking or moving. “Sit up, sweetie.” a hand grabs my arm, it stings at the contact but regardless I still follow orders. With her help I manage to sit up and eventually stand. I stumble just standing in place and Robin holds a hand on either shoulder to keep me steady. “Oh my god, Ellie... You’re bleeding…” she doesn’t finish the thought, she reaches out to touch my cheek. I open my eyes, not realizing they hadn’t even been open up until this point. Robin is a mass of blurs infront of me as I try to open my swollen eyes. “Oh sweetheart… Come on, I need to take you to the nurse.” she guides me out of the lunch room and down the hall, with the help of another teacher who I barely know is there and remains silent the whole way. When we get to the nurse she cheeks over my injuries, bandaging me the best she can before calling my mother saying “She needs to take you to the hospital incase you have internal bleeding.” The statement barely registers in my mind, I just sit there and wait for something to happen. After the call, I’m being dragged off to what I guess is the office. I’m guided into a chair and I stumble, falling off my feet to land in the chair. I wait there for a while, Robin talking to me about something as I  wait; keeping me company I guess. I don’t offer replies, it wouldn’t be much use since I don’t know what it is she’s rambling about anyway. I just sit there, staring at the blurs around me, some things come into focus every now and then when they’re close enough. A teacher comes into focus and murmurs something. The soft humming of Robin’s voice stops. “I’ll be right back, Ellie. I have to go take care of something.” she rubs my shoulder gently before they both disappear again. I wait in the silence, sitting back in my chair too rest my eyes.My head aches, along with the rest of my body, but my head is the only injury I’m bothered with at the moment. I didn’t know that this could happen. They all seemed so… nonviolent. I knew they were capable of relentless bullying, but I hadn’t expected them to be capable of relentless beatings as well. You would think they would have some kind of reputation to uphold. But as I sit here for a minute in silence, I realize they’re anything but nonviolent; they’d crush anyone they thought necessary. “I didn’t do anything, you can’t do this to me!” I snap back to attention as the voice slices through the silence I had been hearing. I listen more carefully but all I hear is the murmuring of teachers or maybe the principal. “Just wait til my dad gets here, you can’t suspend me for something I didn’t do!” I shrink back in my seat as I realize the voices belongs to none other than Chloe. I refuse to open my eyes until the murmuring gets quieter and then I can’t hear anything again. Someone walks towards me after the silence invades the room for a few minutes. I open my eyes, expecting to see Robin but instead I open my eyes to see Chloe leaning over me. I gasp and shrink down into my seat, despite the pain it causes. “This isn’t over, you’ll regret fucking with me, Freak.” she hisses and already I regret ever coming near the girl, or her Bitch Posse. She shoves on my shoulders and a sound of pain escapes me again. Robin and someone else comes to my rescue, pulling her away and handing her off to another teacher. Robin and this other person sit on either side of me, I feel like I know whoever the person is but I don’t automatically recognize them, mainly because I can’t manage to look over to see who it is. “Is she gonna be okay?” The girl’s voice emits from the unknown individual and Robin’s silent for a moment, “You’d better hope so.” She grumbles in response. The girl goes silent, almost as if she feels guilty. “I didn’t mean for it to happen…” she mumbles and there’s something else she says a minute later but it’s so quiet I can barely hear it, let alone tell what it is that she said. But what I can hear, imagining it or not, was something similar too ‘all my fault’. After some time, my mom shows up, panicking like she always does every time something happens to me. She makes sure to do as the nurse said and rushes to the hospital in a manner that’s rather reckless compared to her usually cautious driving. She makes it to the E.R. and guides me inside, the doctors taking me away after she pushes them to take care of me. They better bandage my wounds and send me to my own room, where I wait to get X-Rays and other things that I don’t pay attention too. The whole thing is just exhausting, I’ve had a long day. All I want to do is go home and sleep everything away, eventually I do find my eyelids drifting down until sleep gets the better of me. Chapter 4 - "White Lights and Red Lines" A few hours later, I wake up again. The white lights hanging from the ceiling of the hospital blind me as I crack open my sore eyes. Groaning, I lift my sore arms briefly to shield my eyes before they finally adjust to the light. Carefully I look around the room, it’s empty, other than the medical equipment and that strange doctor smell. I take another look around, confused that my mom isn’t in the room. At last, I notice a figure sitting in a chair in the corner of the room. I squint, adjusting my eyes to better see her. But this figure isn’t my mother. “Thank god, you’re awake.” The figure scoots their chair next to the hospital bed and grabs my arm. “I was starting to get worried, you’ve been asleep all day.” I soon recognize the voice as the figure comes into focus. “R... River?” that can’t be her, what reason would she have to be here? “I know you probably don’t want to see me right now, but I just wanted to make sure you were okay after what happened.” “Why do you care?” the bitter tone comes out of me without me even really meaning to speak. She stares at me in silence for a moment, seemingly just as stunned by the tone as I am. “I…” she stops to wipe at her eyes. Is she crying? No that’s ridiculous, she hardly ever cries and she certainly has no reason to now. “I’m sorry… I’ll go now.” she stands up abruptly and wipes at her eyes again, sniffling as she walks. She keeps her hand on my arm, sliding down the length of it as she walks. She pauses when she gets to my hand, sighs, and walks away before I know what to do. She runs into my mother near the doorway, “Are you going home?” I don’t hear a reply, I imagine she just nods. “Are you okay? Is Ellie okay??” she rushes to my side and River takes the chance to leave, for once it seems as if she’s running from me . “You’re awake, how are you feeling sweetie?” mom’s voice brings me out of my thoughts and I look away from the doorway. “I’m… sore. Can I go home now?” now more than ever I just want to curl up in my blankets and sleep this awful day away.  “Soon, dear. I’ll go talk to the doctor. Do you need anything while I’m gone?” I shake my head and she leaves the room; Leaving me alone with my thoughts. “Soon” turned out to be anything but, as it always is with my mother. “Soon” meant it would take her the rest of the day to talk with the doctors about when they thought it was safe to let me go home. They decided to keep me overnight of course and by the next morning I finally get to go home, doing nothing more than what I had intended. burying myself in a blanket of sleep. I’m not allowed to go to school for at least the whole rest of the week, my mother saying it’s unsafe and my school just agreeing with the uptight woman. She keeps me in my bed most of the time, bringing me food or whatever I need, only letting me move around to go to the bathroom or to shower. I think that most kids would complain about how she may over care at times but honestly it doesn’t bother me as much as it use to. Mainly because at this point I’ll take whatever kindness I can get. Surprisingly enough she even takes a few days of the week off from work just to sit with me and keep me company. She tells me on Wednesday that all most all of the girls that participated in my beating are being punished with school expulsion and even court fines for a majority. All of them except Chloe, who got off on all of it because of her dad being a lawyer. The only other one that didn’t get in trouble is River, which I’m kind of thankful for. After all she never laid a hand on me, she even pulled some of them away from what I’ve heard. Why she would do that or why she would even show up at the hospital still confuses me. She hates me… or at least I thought she did. I don’t know what to think about her so I decide not to think about her at all. Or any of them for that matter. Friday arrives quicker than the rest of the seemingly sluggish week. But I find as quickly as it arrives, it also quickly falls back down with the rest of this agonizingly slow week. I end up sleeping until 3 or so, but I eventually wake up. I usually do when school lets out. I look around for something, anything to do. Eventually I find my laptop sitting on the dresser by my bed. Stiffly, I sit up and reach out for it. Sore muscles scream out in pain, but I ignore it until I have the laptop on the bed infront of me. I take a minute to recover before pulling it into my lap and opening it. I sign into a the few social media sites I have accounts on, Facebook, Twitter, things like that. I scroll through Twitter for a bit, finding nothing interesting… other than a few hateful posts about me, which I find surprising. Funny how there’s negative things about me but I’ve yet to see anything about the girls that beat me up. But that’s probably because most of the people posting said hateful comments are friends of said bitches. Sighing, I log off and move to Facebook. I scroll through the news feed for a bit but something more noticeable catches my eye. I have at least 30 notifications; something I don’t get often and it confuses me. I click on the little globe, for some odd reason getting excited. As if I expected condolences for what happened Monday. I do see a few scattered get wells from family members and random people that do it to make themselves look friendly. But the first notification at the very top is what tells me my timeline is going to be mainly littered with. “Chloe Warren wrote on your timeline” I stare at it worriedly for a second before I go to my timeline. “Thanks for ruining mine and my dads week with your bullshit” is all her post says but the comments and post that fill in below it make me feel even worse. “Yeah, my school record is ruined now. Thanks bitch.” says one of the girls that had to go to court. “You’re pathetic, seriously, kill yourself.” that comment stands out the most and I notice that nearly every girl that beat me up that day liked it. All I can do is stare down at all the words, at a loss and on the edges of tears. Before the tears start to uncontrollably pour out of my eyes, mom comes in with a bowl of soup. “Oh good, you’re awake. I made you some soup, I know how much you use to love my homemade veggie soup when you were sick.” I set the laptop aside as she hands off the bowl of steaming soup. I can do nothing more than stare down at it, watching the crackers crumble in the soup. “Is the medicine making you sick?” mom sits down in the chair she put at the side of my bed. “No... I’m just not very hungry now.” she looks at me quizzically and I can tell she senses something's up. “What were you reading?” I glance over at the laptop and shake my head, trying to shake the thoughts out. “Nothing…” she doesn’t buy it for a second. She sighs, I glance up and instantly I see the anger in her eyes, causing me to shrink away on reflex. “Your aunt and cousin told me what they’ve been saying on there. Don’t worry about it sweetie, we’re already taking care of it. By the end of next week we’ll have those brats in so much trouble they won’t want to leave their houses.” she smiles at me when I glance up at her again, I try to chuckle at her little joke and it seems to make her feel like she did good. “Now, eat your food, dear. You haven’t eaten much in days.” She stands up, kissing my forehead before she starts to leave. She stops at the doorway, “Oh, I almost forgot, they’re making me do some over time tonight to make up for this week. Do you think you’ll be okay by yourself till tomorrow morning?” I nod my head and put on a smile for her. “Good, don’t forget to shower tonight. I’ll see you in the morning.” I nod again and with ‘I love you’s and ‘goodbye’s she’s gone. I stare down at my food again, taking small nibbles. After an hour or so I’ve finished off the soup and I’m stuck staring at the open laptop again. I must stare at it for at least 30 minutes before I stupidly decide to pick it back up. At first I try to ignore all of the hateful comments, only looking at posts from family members or more of those “friendly” people. But after a while, all I can focus on is comment after comment by the same people who started all of this. I end up staring at that one comment on Chloe’s post for quite a while. “You’re pathetic, seriously, kill yourself.” I just stare at those words for what feels like forever, wondering why they wrote them. I’ve never done anything to anyone, especially not this random person, that would deem worthy of saying something like that. As far as I know I don’t think anyone would ever deserve such a statement. If anyone were to receive them, I would think it to be some horrible criminal, not someone like me. I shut the laptop abruptly and toss it back down on the dresser. I wander around the house for a bit, not sure what to do now. But for a while I just take advantage that mom’s not here to stop me from stretching my legs. That soon gets boring though so I wander back up to my room. I pick up my phone, almost forgetting for a second that I have no one to talk to. I lay down on my bed and stare up at the phone, going through my messages. I realize I hadn’t picked this thing up since summer, all of the goofy messages from River still there. I smile at them for a moment, remembering how nice things use to be. But that moment only lasts so long before I have to come back to the present. I delete all of my messages sadly and set the phone down on the dresser by the laptop. Sighing with a sense of defeat, I get up again; Pain shooting through me as I should have expected. I walk back downstairs and get a drink before looking at the clock, it’s already 6:30 pm. I should have taken a shower a while ago. The actual cleaning part of the shower is relatively short, but nearly an hour after I get in, I’m still here. I watch the water fall down, sliver around my fingers, and then pool at my feet. All the while my thoughts race and eventually I find myself sitting down. I turn the water back to the faucet and plug the bathtub; turning my shower into a bath. Maybe this is what I needed all week, a soothing bath to relax my thoughts. Of course I’m wrong though, the warm water does little to quiet my noisy thoughts. I sit in silence and the thoughts only get louder. Most of them link back to River in some way, but soon enough they start to drift towards her ‘friends’. The week is over with and still my whole body hurts from their kicks, my head still aches from Chloe’s punches. All I can do is wonder why River is friends with the kind of people that would relentlessly beat up someone she use to call her best friend. Soon enough I start to wonder if I was ever her friend in the first place, perhaps she was just my friend out of pity. Otherwise she wouldn’t so easily throw me away. Thoughts like that just keep pouring in and before I can catch myself I’m crying, nearly hysterical. Over the years I find that I get like this from time to time, most of the time I can manage to at least seem emotionless about things but other times breaking down and crying seems unavoidable. And I know what usually happens after this moment. I rub at my arm involuntarily, looking down at the tiny scars that stain my skin like ink on paper. I rub my thumb across the scars, I don’t remember the first time I did it; It was a blur, much like every time after and probably much like this time will become. I get out of the bath tub finally, trying to push the thoughts aside. I dry off and put on my clothes. But after that I can’t seem to find the will to move. I stare at the floor for a minute before looking up at the mirror that hangs over the sink. The girl on the other side is pale and beaten. Most of the time I can’t stand the girl I have to look back at. With her brown stale hair, her gray eyes, and the face and body that far more people have picked on than complimented; The girl on the other side of the mirror is nothing special. At times it seems like the girl on this side of the mirror is nothing to anyone. Angrily, I walk away from the image and wander into the kitchen. I find myself staring out the window, the sun is already down being as it’s winter. I stare at the darkness, lost in thought again. The dark scares me. As childish as that sounds it’s true. Things lurk in the dark at night, when I’m laying in my bed. Memories lurk there, good and bad, followed by tormented thoughts and unspoken words. Every fear driven thing of the universe lingers in the dark and it terrifies me. But right now it only taunts me. You’re pathetic I can’t tell if it’s just a reminder of the words from earlier or my own thoughts starting to believe I truly am pathetic. Seriously, kill yourself. This time I’m sure the voice is more of my own thought and not just a reiteration of earlier. I look down at my arm again, turning it over to see the small scars. They were always small, I could never cut myself deep enough to make a noticeably large gash. I was always too scared, cowardly as I told myself. Maybe this time I can actually go through with it. Chapter 5 - "Into Another Mind"   ☯River☯ When I’d decided to push Ellie out of my life it had been in her best interest. I hadn’t planned on her becoming my enemy of sorts but I went with it in hopes she would be safe if she wasn’t around me. But what I had in mind isn’t at all how things have gone and now she’s home in bed because my new set of fake friends beat her to a pulp. I knew when I befriended them that they had… hateful tendencies to say the least but I went with it, assuming that the worse people I hung out with the less Ellie would be around me. I thought it was better that way and it would have been if I hadn’t been as stupid as to pick people that would bully and harm her. The worst part is that I had even participated in some of the bullying. Why I would go to such lengths I’ll never know. I’m such an idiot for thinking that nothing would come from playing along with their games and now they’ve hurt Ellie and it’s all my fault. And she knows it. That look she gave me in the hospital nearly tour me in two. She knew I had become her bully when I was suppose to be her friend. Even if I couldn’t be just her friend, I should’ve never became what I am now. God knows the girl never deserved any of this. This is exactly what I was trying to prevent : pain. “What are you still doing here?” My sister’s voice rings out from the other side of the couch and it brings me out of my thoughts. “What  are you talking about, Zoey?” I mumble, flipping through the channels on the tv. “You know what I’m talking about. I heard what happened, it’s been a week. You need to go apologize already.” she hops over the couch to steal the remote and just this once, I don’t bother to steal it back. “Um… Again, what are you talking about?” she looks away from the tv to glare at me. “I know you had a part in what happened to El. I’m not an idiot.” Her words stun me into silence so she continues, “Go over there and apologize, you asshole.” She shoves me off the couch and after a minute I follow her little order. I’m not one to listen to anyone and certainly not my sister, but she’s right. I need to go talk to Ellie. I grab my shoes and make my way over to The House of Stone as we use to call it when we were younger. The stupid things kids come up with. If only we could stay that innocent. Only ten minutes later I find myself approaching the house, walking up their driveway. I walk nervously up the porch and to the door. I prepare to knock when I notice something huddled on the floor; past the living room and in the corner of the kitchen. It’s obvious almost instantly that it’s Ellie’s figure huddled there. Quickly I start to worry that she fell or furthered her injuries somehow. “Ellie?” I call out to see if she’ll answer, if it’s just a broken leg or something she would look up or answer back, right? After all she is sitting on the floor and not laying there so I at least know she’s still conscience. But she doesn’t move or even look up at me. She just keeps staring down at her arm, holding it as if it’s broken. I take a closer look, peering through the window’s curtains and instantly I realize she’s not holding her arm. She’s holding a knife to it and she’s… “Ellie!” her name forces itself out of my mouth and I act on instinct; swinging the door open and rushing to her. I stop in the doorway to the kitchen because she stops mid action to look up at me, tears streaming down her cheeks. “River?” she looks at me with so much confusion, as if I’m not really there and she’s just imagining it. “Ellie… “ I move closer and crouch down infront of her before finishing my sentence “Give me the knife.” at that something clicks in her mind. Like she’s suddenly convinced that I am a figment of her imagination and she’s free to go on as she had before I got there.  She bolts to her feet and rushes to the bathroom, slamming the door shut before I can reach her. “Ellie open the door!” I twist the door knob only to find that it’s locked. In a panic I hit the door and look around like a wild animal in a trap. the keys, they keep the keys in the middle draw. the thought comes to life and I rush back to the kitchen and rummage through the middle draw by the stove until I find the set of house keys. I manage to get the door open but by the time I get there, two more fresh cuts line her arms. She stops the knife as I step into the room, again looking confused and scared. “Stop, just… give me the knife sweetie.” again  I crouch down infront of her and this time she doesn’t move, she looks at me like a scared, trapped animal. “No… I have to finish this… I- I don’t want to live anymore.” she sobs out and there’s no way to describe the pain I feel when I hear her say that. She squirms away from me, “Ellie, you can’t do that . Just give me the knife, please.” I reach out to take the knife and she jerks away from me, I only manage to grab hold of her wrist. “No!” she tries to pull away but my reflexes take over and I hold onto her arm. “Ellie, give me the knife!” “No, let me go!” she pulls away again and I release her arm, only to hold onto either side of her face so that I can look her in the eye. “I’m not letting go, I can’t let you do this. Now give me the knife.” my voice luckily sounds a lot more calm than my thoughts and she stares at me for a moment, eyes still puffy with tears. She drops the knife and startles me with a hug, sobbing more as she buries her nose in my shirt. “Shh, it’s okay.” I pull her closer and rock back and forth in an effort to calm us both. I almost lost her. She could have left this world like that and she would have haunted me for the rest of my life. I bite back tears and hug her tighter, just thankful to every god known to man that I had gotten here when I did. what if I had shown up just ten minutes later? I push the morbid thought aside and move to look at her arm, clinging onto my shirt. Red stains the blue fabric and the sight makes me sick to my stomach. “I need to take care of your cuts.” I mumble once her sobs have calmed down a bit. She moves back silently and sits there, staring at the ground as I get the medkit from the cabinet. I wipe the cuts with disinfectant and wrap her arm in a bandage, all the while she doesn’t move or look up from that spot on the floor. I scoot closer and pick her up, preparing to take her anywhere but this dark bathroom. She doesn’t resist when I carry her out, she just buries her nose in my shirt again, like a tired child would. She seems just as fragile as a child, maybe even more so. She seems a lot smaller than she usually does, as if she tried to shrink down in order to hide from the world. By the time I carry her up to her room and sit her down in her bean bag chair, she’s gone silent; no more tears or even the smallest sniffle. I look around the room, lost for a moment before I find myself staring down at my shirt. I stare down at the blood on it and realize there’s a little dried on my hands from bandaging her up. In a panic I grab a bottle of water from her nightstand, riding me of her blood. I wipe my hands on my shirt and then peel the shirt off of me as if I were a guilty murderer. I walk over to her dresser, sorting through it to find another shirt but I stop when I hear her sobbing again. I walk back over to her, crouching down once more and rubbing her shoulder in an effort to calm her down. She barely seems to notice though, so I scoot her over and sit in the bean bag with her, practically sitting her in my lap but I don’t seem to care at the moment and neither does she. She hugs me again, her sobs becoming muffled in my hair. All I can think to do is go back to my back and forth motion and mutter little words of comfort. Chapter 6 - "Moving Too Fast"   ☀Ellie☀ I don’t know what happened, as I predicted it was a blur like every other time before. But this time was different. I didn’t want to stop. But someone had stopped me. Someone had charged in and stopped me, bandaged me up and carried me out of that dreaded bathroom; only to sit here with me in a bean bag chair. I look up at River, muttering to me that everything’s okay. Still I wonder why she’s here and why she’s being so kind. I thought for sure that she hated me, but I guess even if you do hate someone you wouldn’t just stand back and watch them try to end their own life. I realize after a bit that I’ve finally stopped crying and we sit in this surprisingly comfortable silence. she breaks the silence with a sniffle, “I’m sorry… This is all my fault, I’m so sorry Ellie.” she starts to ramble a bit, moving to hold me closer like I could really do something to make her feel better. I remain silent, not sure how to respond. Is this all her fault? Sure she had been friends with all the people that treated me like shit, but for obvious reasons I feel like this would have happened sooner or later. But still I know she has a point, after all I knew something was different when she showed up at the hospital. She hasn’t been my friend for a long time so there was no reason for her to be around me… unless she felt guilty. That’s probably the only reason she’s here now, so she doesn’t have to be responsible if something happens to me; she can always say she tried to help. “Why are you here?”doubt plagues my mind and the question falls from my mouth before I can stop it. I look up at her to gage her reaction and she stares back at me, confused. “W-what do you mean? I just thought you’d want me to stay… I don’t really want to leave you alone but I guess I can go if you want…” “No!” the protest pulls itself free before I can stop it. I’d gotten so use to her comfort that I start to speak out without any real thoughts to base my sentences on. “No… I just thought… Why are you being so nice to me I mean?” The question finally stammers out of me. “Because I care about you, why else would I be nice?” she looks at me confused, as if it’s me who’s the odd one. It’s her who basically started all this, who gave up our friendship just to be friends with the “popular” girls that beat me up. If anything I should be looking at her like that, not the other way around. My thoughts grumble and for a brief second, it fuels enough anger to make me courageous. “You don’t care about me, you’re a liar.” I move out of her grasp and she looks at me stunned, almost as if she’s about to cry. “No, I’m not lying… Look I can explain, I just…” her thoughts seem to cut short there, like she can’t even come up with a believable lie. I stand up in order to distance myself from her more. “Why should I have ever believed you? Every nice thing you ever said to me was probably a lie, I mean it’s not like you’d really care, you left me so easily for a new set of friends. I should have known better…”  “I never lied to you… No, I really do care about you, you were my best friend…  would you just calm down?” I start rambling and each time I stop to take a breath she tries to interject but it’s a pointless endeavor and it goes back and forth like that for what seems like hours but really it’s only a minute or so. “I would have been fine, but then you showed up at the hospital and now you’re confusing everything. You don’t have to do this pity thing, you know, I wish you had just left me alone.” I keep my eyes glued on something outside the window but silence quickly draws my attention. That must have been the last straw for her. I turn around cautiously to find her walking towards me. She lifts her arm and instinctively I flinch, expecting a slap or hit. But I don’t receive either of those things, in fact what I do receive is far from what I would have expected her or anyone really to do. She places her hand on my cheek, the other hand joining in the caress a moment later and instantly I’m silenced. I know I should be saying something, asking a question, anything really. But my mind goes blank, after all it only takes seconds for it to happen. Before I have time to react she leans forward and suddenly that berry smell and sweet taste come rushing back to me as if the events weren’t nearly a year apart. Just as suddenly as they reappear, I remember what happened the last time they lingered around and I realize she’s kissing me. I pull away quickly, my thoughts starting to rush back to me as the kiss breaks. “What was that for?? You’re trying to fuck with my brain aren’t you? First you hate me and then you show up at the hospital and now you’re here trying to kiss me…” honestly, I don’t really have an excuse for not seeing it coming the second time. She cuts my sentence off with another kiss and this time I don’t really have the energy to pull away. I just stand there like an idiot and I don’t even take the opportunity to kiss her back. When she pulls away, in the back of my mind I start to wish I had kissed back; after all I never really got the chance at a kiss that wasn’t half sided last summer. “I don’t hate you, I never hated you Ellie.” she mummers at last, forcing a tired smile onto her lips. “But you…” despite everything she’s said and done in the past few minutes, my brain finds it hard to believe her and it struggles to pull out a protest; but I’m starting to get too tired to bother fighting back. “I know I was terrible to you and I’m really sorry, but I didn’t mean any of it… I was just… being stupid. But I’ll fix everything, I promise.” I stare at her for a minute in silence, my thoughts screaming out worriedly. Should I even bother to trust her anymore? ‘How? How are you going to fix anything?’ I’d planned on saying it, partly at least. I’d even opened my mouth and started to ask but it’s not like it would have done much good and I stop before I start. She looks at me for a minute and I can practically see the gears in her mind turning. Suddenly something sparks in her eyes, as if she found the answer to some silent question she was asking herself. I don’t know how she keeps catching me off guard, I’m staring right at her, I can see that she’s planning something when she moves closer but somehow I still don’t expect her to kiss me again. I guess that’s understandable because it’s not like I ever expected her to kiss me before, but still, I should pay attention more when she reaches up to caress my cheeks yet again. But I wasn’t paying attention until after she started kissing me and despite how alert I am now, it doesn’t really help my case. I still stand there stupidly, almost like a stone statue. After a few seconds though, I find that my limbs grow tired of being made of stone. They act on their own will; my feet shuffling closer, my arms moving up, my hands loosely grabbing the little belt loops on her jeans. In the back of my mind I can sense that this isn’t good but my brain starts to go blank and at last I kiss her back. My lips press more firmly to hers and it feels as if I needed it in order to keep myself sane. My hands move up a bit, to grab onto something sturdier than the belt loops; trying in vain to steady my body and all the shaking nerves crashing around. The tips of my fingers come in contact with skin and I vaguely remember the blood stained shirt she’d nearly torn off, trying to escape it like it stung her. I pull away just enough to look into her eyes, trying to read the expression on her face. There’s something in her eyes, something upset in that sea of darkness but I don’t have time to gauge what it means before she moves to kiss me again. This kiss feels more urgent than the last, making her seem almost impatient. But I don’t really care at the moment, in an odd way I’m kind of just happy to be receiving kisses from anyone, despite the circumstances. I kiss back after the initial shock of her urgency wears off and it seems to earn a positive reaction from her. She starts to move, turning me around to the right with her as if she has a certain destination in mind. It brakes the current kiss and leaves me dazed and a bit confused until she moves to continue the kiss and my mind forgets everything else it was trying to process before. My feet start moving backwards, once again against my will, and I realize that it’s River’s fault they’re moving; she gently guides me backwards and the silence in my mind finally starts to fill back in with little thoughts.   Where is she taking me? I stop my feet from moving for a minute, trying to gather my thoughts. I pull away from her kiss to speak but of course nothing comes to mind. I move back just an inch and the back of my legs bump into the bed. It starts to sink in, I know what she’s thinking or at least part of it. And I think about moving away, shoving her out of the room, or maybe out of the house. But before I can really do any of those things, I’m on the bed and she’s hovering over me; suddenly stopping her seems like a stupid idea, trying to tell myself to stop seems equally fruitless. I don’t even know exactly what’s going to happen but I find myself not wanting to stop it, at least for the moment; even though I might regret everything later. Before I know it she’s kissing me again and instantly thoughts of worry go silent, pretty much all thoughts go silent. Except the ones focused on her. Everything in that field of my mind is on high alert, taking note of her every detail, every move. Her hands trail carefully along my sides, almost like they’re expecting me for damage and they move in patterns that almost seem planned. One hand moves up to my cheek, stopping to run her fingers through my hair briefly as her other hand continues to follow it’s trail along my side. It stops temporarily in it’s path to trace my ribs before moving back down to trace them again underneath my shirt. My mom always warned me to stop things once they got that far, once they get up your shirt they’ll take it as invitation to go further. I’d never bothered to listen to her before, being as she always talked that way when I never had anyone to worry about things like that with. Except for River that is, right now. But still I don’t seem to have it in me to listen to all of the warnings swimming around in my head and eventually they give up entirely. After a minute she pulls the shirt off, grazing the cuts on my arm and I mumble something involuntarily. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” she moves to kiss my cheek and suddenly those thoughts of worry are replaced with other thoughts. She’s being affectionate… This isn’t River, River hardly ever shows any emotions unless it’s anger. So why is she here right now, like this? It’s clear at this point that she was never mad at me, or at least she didn’t hate me like I thought. She was just putting up some weird act for what reason I don’t know. But could she be putting up an act now? It doesn’t seem likely, I  know the girl can be conniving when she wants but she’s not this good of an actress. So unless I’m misjudging her acting skills, then the only other reason she would be doing this right now is if she actually has feelings for me. I use to think she wasn’t even capable of those kinds of emotions and it’s not like I would be this one special person to her. So maybe there’s some other hidden agenda that I’m not seeing. I’m pulled out of my thoughts when I realize her kisses have moved down my neck and along my collarbone. She gets to this sensitive spot somewhere near my sternum and the sensation pulls a surprised “mmpf” out of me. She seems content with the reaction and moves on, further down my body; pausing when she gets to the edge of my bra before deciding to kiss her way back up. She kisses me once one the lips, it’s quick and wavering as if her lips didn’t want to be there. Her movements start to become hasty, unhooking my bra and pulling at the button on my jeans. For a second I wonder why I didn’t get my pajamas, had I been planning on doing something, was I suppose to be going somewhere? The thought is quickly pushed aside when I realize I’m wriggling out of the jeans. Wait, what are we doing? Something’s not right here, a week ago her friends were beating me up and now she’s pulling my pants off… Did I miss something? I try to voice the thoughts, only a tiny mumble coming out of me before she moves back up to kiss me again. I forget what I was going to say, only glad that we’re back to firm kisses instead of timid ones, like she was scared of me. “Shhh… I just wanted to…” her explanation trails off and she tries to cover it up by shaking her head and moves to kiss me again. My hands move to unhook her bra after a minute, as if they were just trying to follow her lead instead of mine. At this point, trying to keep my own limbs in control seems like something that would never work out so I let my hands continue to undress her without bothering to resist anymore. It’s not like I really want to resist at this point anyway, even though every thing in the back of my mind screams at me to stop. I reach to undo her jeans, my hands not as steady as hers were. She lets me pull them off, to my surprise, before taking my hands. She interweaves her fingers with mine and gently puts my hands over my head. She gives me this look before moving to kiss my neck again, releasing my hands but I take it as a silent order to keep them in place. She kisses a trail down again, this time greeted by uncovered skin and if I were in the right state of mind I would have been self conscience enough then to stop her. But I’m not in the right state of mind, I haven’t been for the past hour or so and it’s almost like I let her take advantage of that. For a brief second I wonder if that’s what she’s doing, taking advantage of me. Is that the hidden agenda I hadn’t seen before? I push the thoughts aside when I feel her tongue start to trace patterns on my skin. A moan leaves my throat without me even realizing at first and she reacts to it with this happy humming sound before moving to hover over me. Her eyes lock onto mine and she stares at me, almost quizzically for a moment. Her eyes seem to fill with emotions I can’t read, this look of temptation starts to unravel onto the features of her face and suddenly her eyes disappear. I sit up to find her curling her fingers around the waistband of my underwear. Before I can even react they’re gone and her lips are on my neck again. I sink back into the surface of the mattress again, startled by how quickly all of that happened. She gets to that sensitive spot on my sternum again, nipping at it and another moan forces it’s way past my lips. In an instant I suddenly become aware of her hand radiating heat on my inner thigh; scooting closer to where I know it shouldn’t be going. Still I don’t stop her and at this point I honestly don’t know where my mind has gone. My own hands move away from the pillow they were clutching to in order to move to her back. I trace my fingers along the dark skin and for some reason memories flood to me. Memories of being on the beach, or in that goofy kiddy pool mom had bought years ago. She’s in every random memory that suddenly comes to mind and all I can think about is how we use to be when we were small, all innocent and thinking we would be friends forever. Now look at what we’ve become. A bolt of electricity shoots through my body and in an instant I’m brought back to the real world. My cheeks are damp with tears and I’m gasping, her fingers suddenly right where I’d hopped they wouldn’t go. And then it’s like being drunk, I forget everything else, the room spins and quickly it’s filled with gasps and moans and blurs of movements. And little pleasures that snowball into losing control and before I can stop any of it, I’m hit with this wall of pleasure. My body arches into her, my hands trying to bring her closer, and my legs start shaking. Gradually the climax ends, leaving me lying there dazed and utterly lost. I come down from the high a few minutes later and find River hovering over me. “Are you okay? You started crying when I… I didn’t hurt you did I?” I stare back at her, unable to find a reply. What just happened? I nudge her away and she moves to my side as I sit up. A minute or two of silence passes and then she seems to get impatient with worry. She scoots closer and gently turns me to face her, “Ellie? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I swear.” I look at her in confusion before it clicks, “Wha… no, no, I’m not hurt. Just… surprisingly exhausted now.” I mumble, laying back down. “But you were crying… N-nevermind.” she lays at my side and I turn to face her. She copies the action and for a moment we just stare at each other in silence. That ‘what just happened?’ thought resurfaces and after a moment I realize what the answer is; letting out a gasp involuntarily. “What’s wrong?” River touches my arm and I look around at my surroundings for a minute before looking back at her. “Did we… Did we just have sex?” She looks at me thoughtfully for a minute. “I guess so… yeah.”the last word slips from her mouth and she gets this look of concern about her. And now the regret sinks in. This isn’t how this should have happened. This is like losing your virginity to some random friend you get drunk with. This is even worse than that, I lost my virginity to someone who I was pretty sure hated me less than a day ago. I swore to myself that I’d follow all of those rules mom had given me, granted she wanted me to get married first but I was at least going to date the person for years before this happened. It wasn’t suppose to be like this at all. “Oh god, don’t cry again. Look, it’s not as bad as it seems. Just relax.” River pulls me closer and whispers words of reassurance for a few minutes and somehow it does relax me. “It’ll be okay, we can talk about it in the morning. Right now you should probably get some rest, god knows you need it after the week you’ve had.” she rubs my shoulder blade and after a few minutes the exhaustion from everything that happened today finally gets the better of me and I doze off. Chapter 7 - "Running From Shadows"   ☯River☯ After everything Ellie quickly falls asleep, clinging onto me like I’m keeping her alive. I watch her drift asleep, how worn out she looks concerns me. The girl’s had a long week. At least an hour goes by and still I’m wide awake, my thoughts racing uncontroallably. I’ve gone over it countless times, replaying what happened again and again and still I don’t understand any of it . If only I hadn’t been such an idiot, this wouldn’t have happened. What was I thinking? I wasn’t protecting her, I only made her life more difficult. I’m the cause of those cuts on her arm . The thought sends a shiver down my spine and on reflex I pull her closer. I take a deep breath. The smell of her rushes in, swimming around my brain and instantly I relax; knowing that she’s still here. Safe and sound. Maybe things could have gone differently if I were a better person. If I hadn’t hurt her. If I hadn’t left her alone to befriend a bunch of spoiled bitches. It was such a lost cause, becoming someone she’d hate in order to protect her. I didn’t trust myself the first time she kissed me, I knew someone would end up getting hurt. But despite my efforts, she got hurt anyway and even worse she hurt herself. It shouldn’t have ended up like this, but it did. What could I have done to make things different anyway? Maybe if I had just let things happen naturally instead of pushing her away… No, no, I’m the cause of all of this, her being closer to me would have just been worse. But I still ended up in her bed regardless, god knows I could have gone about this better. As soon as the thought emerges, Ellie murmurs something in her sleep and tightens her hold on my torso. “Shh, it’s okay.” the little words of comfort leave my mouth involuntarily and it seems to calm her dreams almost instantly. She quickly goes back to a more steady, relaxed state of sleep. I stay still for a while, not sure what to do. My thoughts continue to race, their screams torturing me. I just need to clear my head… I look down at Ellie again, she’s still soundly asleep. I nudge her away, or I try to before she scoots closer. After a few tries I can finally wiggle free and get out of bed. Cold air greets my skin and it stings, like an awful reminder of what I’ve done. Quickly I pull my clothes on, rummage through her drawers for a shirt, and walk out of her room as quietly as my clumsy, shaky legs can manage. I find myself downstairs, in the bathroom. The door sticks now from where I was hitting it. I go to the bathroom and try desperately to push away the memories that flood back to me. I stare at the wall, it seems to be the only spot in the room that doesn’t remind me of what she tried to do. I make it to the sink and wash my hands rather absentmindedly. I make the mistake of glancing up at the mirror and for quite a while I just stare back at my reflection. The image disgusts me, like looking at a horrible person. Which after a time, becomes understandable because I am a horrible person. I let someone I love get bullied to the point where she couldn’t take it anymore. I’m a spineless coward. My feet shuffle out of the bathroom quickly when those thoughts start to pour in. I stumble back up the stairs and back into her room. I stop in the doorway though, the site of her sleeping naked in bed seems to startle my feet out of their somewhat possessed means of travel. I shouldn’t have done this to her. After a moment of standing there, that’s the only thought that rings out . I’ve messed up enough already, but this was something I didn’t think even I was stupid enough to do. I don’t know why it happened really. Kissing her was understandable, I’d been wanting to ever since things started to go downhill. But this? I didn’t mean for this to happen. I couldn’t help it, she just kept staring at me with that broken expression and all I wanted to do was fix things. So it started out with little kisses, like I was trying to kiss away her pain. Trying to erase what I’d done. But I should have known nothing good would come from it and it went too far. Now I’ve messed up things even more. I should leave… She doesn’t deserve anymore of my bull shit. I step inside the room cautiously and stop when my feet bump into the clothes beside her bed. I stare at her for a moment and run the thought through my mind a few times. I could leave. It would be a lot better if I did, wouldn’t it? I’d be out of her life, I could find a way to disappear. She’d be better off that way. I find myself climbing back into bed, moving back into the same position I was in when I left . She clings to me again and sleeps calmly, like I was never gone. I watch her sleep for a while, not really wanting to leave despite the little thoughts of disappearing. I need to leave before it’s too late. I can’t be hanging around when she wakes up in the morning, I’ll fuck things up again. I sigh out after a moment . I play with her hair for a while, one part of me trying to talk myself out of it and the other trying to make me leave. It’s the right thing to do. After that, I know which side’s won. I lay there for a moment longer, not wanting to leave the surprising comfort I feel when I hold her. Reluctantly, I wriggle out of her grasp again. I sit on the edge of the bed and put on my socks, then reach around in the dark for my shoes; all the while trying not to look back at her. Moments later, I’m ready and I stand up. I glance back at her without meaning to and I find myself marveling at how she looks right now; stripped of her cover and sleeping peacefully. Now’s no time to stand in awe. I need to go. The thought pulls me out of my daze and I start to move. She stirs in her sleep, as if she senses that I’m leaving. Murmuring in her sleep, she reaches out; waking up with a small gasp when she finds nothing but the bed sheets. “River?” she sits up a bit, squinting at me and my heart flutters at that sleepy, hopeful expression on her features. It’s simply heartbreaking just to look at her. “I… I’ll be back in a minute. Go back to sleep, sweetie.” I struggle to get the words out and it pains me to lie to her like that but I know I can’t stay and risk doing something else in the morning. “Mmm, okay.” she snuggles back into the blankets and closes her eyes again. For a long while I just stand there, afraid that I’ll wake her again if I move. After I’m pretty sure she’s soundly asleep again, my feet shuffle towards her and I bend down to kiss her cheek. This faint smile appears on her lips and with it something pains my heart. Am I really doing the right thing right now? Maybe I could just stay…  No, that’s selfish of me, to hang around just because that’s what I’ve wanted to do for months now. I have to leave for her sake. I shuffle out of her room, pad quietly down the steps, and rush out of the house. Out of her life, if I can help it. If I weren’t in her life things would have gone so much smoother and all that happened this week would have been totally nonexistent. Maybe now I can help her get to that outcome. I’m sure I can find a way to disappear. It’s nearly five in the morning when I get through the front door of my house. Some of the lights are on and I can tell Zoey is already up and getting ready for work. I walk cautiously into the kitchen for a drink, hoping I don’t run into her. But of course she comes into the kitchen with a mess of stuff in her hands. She sets the pile of papers, make up, her purse, and her jacket all down on the kitchen table in a big scattered mess before looking up at me quizzically. “Did you just get home?” I only offer the slightest nod of my head before walking to the fridge. “What the hell were you doing there all this time? You’re lucky today’s Saturday.” I don’t offer a reply, instead I rummage through the fridge and pretend I didn’t hear her question. “And god you’re a mess, you look like you just got out of a one night stand.” her statement makes my movements stiffen. I pull a Pepsi out of the fridge before turning reluctantly to face her, my eyes looking anywhere but at her. “Oh my god, River. You didn’t.” I start to panic when I glance at her and she gives me this look of astonishment. I set down my soda and try to hold her gaze, “D-didn’t what?” I almost dread her reply, if she found out what happened I don’t think I could deal with it right now. “Don’t tell me you went off to sleep with some guy when I told you to go apologize to Ellie.” she crosses her arms and gives me this glare. “What? No! I did go apologize to Ellie, I’m not a total asshole. Jesus, glad you think so highly of me.” I cross my arms and copy her stance, trying to look angry but really I’m just glad she didn’t actually figure me out. “Oh… Sorry, you just looked really guilty of getting laid.” she snickers at me before moving to pack up her stuff. For a moment I consider telling her what happened, I know she’d listen and I really could use someone to talk too right now. But then again, there’s no telling how she’d react and I couldn’t really take it if she started criticizing me. I shuffle my feet and try to look innocent. Like always, though, she sees right through me. ”… She doesn’t have some brother I don’t know about, does she? “ I kinda wish she would stop bringing up guys… “No, would you stop that? I didn’t have sex with any guys. No brothers, no distant cousins. Happy?” I sit down and cross my arms again. She seems to buy the act for now and grumbles at me. “Fine, I’m late for work so I’ll deal with you later.” I relax a bit when she says that but once she gathers her things she gives me one last look. “Hey, weren’t you wearing my Hollister shirt when you left?”  shit. “um… yeah, I uh.. got a stain on it when I was at Ellie’s.” “That top’s new, you better not have ruined it. And don’t forget to go back over there and get it today.” she swings her purse over on her shoulder and makes her way out of the kitchen after giving me another glare. “But…” the protest leaves me involuntarily, I can’t go back there. She stops in the doorway, “But what? You shouldn’t have a problem going over there, right?” I lower my head in defeat, so much for my disappear plan. “No.” I grumble and finally she leaves. I leave the kitchen and stomp downstairs to the little hidden room my dad had set up for me in the basement years ago. I still remember how scared I was back than and how he made the room for me as if he were trying to make up for the wrongs he had done. Like father, like daughter I suppose. I try to push aside all the horrible memories of the past that start to occur and I flop down on my bed. I know I’ll have to go back to Ellie’s eventually and I’ll worry about it like crazy later, but for right now I’m simply too worn out to bother with it. Chapter 8, "Darkness Falls"   ☀Ellie☀ This wonderful dream floats around in my head. It’s bright and colorful and happy. It makes me feel like everything’s going to be okay. River is in the dream, which I should have expected; she usually is in my dreams. But this time the dream seems different. River seems different. In the dream, I wake up and she’s just there, smiling at me. At first it seems odd, I haven’t seen her smile like that in a long while. But this is a dream and the oddness of it quickly fades when the understanding of the dream comes to light. She’s happy to be here, she’s not her usual sulky self. At least in the dream world I’m the one that can bring out this side of River. For a moment, I think it feels real. Like I could really be that one special person to somebody. I hear this faint sound of a door closing, maybe it’s in the real world but regardless the dream goes on. She reaches up to play with my hair for a second, “Good morning, sleepy bones.” the tone brings a giggle out of dream me and if I were really awake now I would have reacted just the same. Dream River moves to kiss my nose but suddenly her movements seem fuzzy. After a while she fades out and I realize I’m waking up. I try to keep my eyes closed in a vain attempt to stay in the dream. But it’s all but gone. The sound of birds chirping emerges from the real world. I open my eyes, expecting the same happy universe that existed in my dreams. For a minute the sunshine and the birds leads me to believe I am still in that world. But gradually I start to wake up. River isn’t in this world. This time I don’t wake up to see her smiling at me. I don’t even wake up to see her laying beside me. Confused, I look around the room with a yawn. Where did she go? Maybe she went to the bathroom, or to make breakfast. “River?” I call out for her but she doesn’t appear or shout out a reply in the distance. I get up and put my clothes on before  wandering around the house, I walk through the whole house and make it all the way back to my room. I soon catch on that she’s not even here anymore. At last I finally wake up and the realization of what’s happening hits me like a brick wall.  She never came back last night like she said she would. When I woke up in the middle of the night to see her leaving, she wasn’t going to the bathroom or getting a glass of water. She was abandoning me. I collapse back down onto the bed, suddenly feeling like there’s a huge weight on my chest. How could she do this? I knew as soon as it had happened that sleeping with her was a mistake, but in the back of my mind I felt like maybe something had finally gone right and my dream had come true. But I was so wrong. Even if it was a mistake I had never imagined that she would just leave in the middle of the night like that… Unless that was her plan all along. She was using me. My first worry had been right all along. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to think she had actually cared about me. It must have just been sex to her… I curl up under the blankets again, tears already forming. My muscles are still sore and I need to take my medicine, but I don’t care enough at the moment to pay that much mind. I force myself to close my eyes and go back to sleep before the crying starts. Sleep always seems to make the pain go away. Until I have to wake up. The whole day goes by without that happening. I stay soundly asleep, stuck in my world. I hear Mom come home from work around noon, later than I thought she would arrive but I don’t pay it much attention, falling back asleep to escape my reality. She finally decides to wake me up around 8:30 to eat dinner and take my medicine. We eat the pizza she ordered in a surprisingly comfortable silence. Our meal may just be Domino’s but no matter what she always insisted on eating together, especially after dad left and for once I’m grateful for the silent dinner; because this time I at least have company. The meal ends far too quickly, There’s not even any dishes to do tonight and despite my usual hate for it, I miss doing dishes with her. “Don’t forget your medicine, dear.” she calls out before I can go back upstairs. I find myself digging through the cabinet in the kitchen.“Are you feeling okay, sweetie? You’ve been sleeping all day. Maybe I should make an appointment to get you checked on.” She touches my forehead as I open up the medicine bottle. “I’m fine, mom.” I grumble and take a swig of tea to help down the pills. Suddenly she gasps and I put down the cup to stare back at her. Before I can ask what’s wrong, this tone I’ve never heard her use spills out of her. “What is that on your arm??” I glance down at the bandage for a second before remembering. “A bandage.” I mutter stupidly before trying to cover it with the sleeve of my shirt. “… The doctor’s told me to look after you and make sure you didn’t…. what happened to your arm, Ellie?” I’ve never seen her like this before, it’s like someone had tried to do something terrible to me. “It’s just some scratches, Mom. I… fell.” What would she do if she know I'm that someone who tried to do something terrible to myself? “What happened to your arm Ellie?” She repeats in a sturner voice and it’s clear that lying would be fruitless, she always seems to see through my lies. Nearly 30 minutes later I’ve managed to mutter through the story and she stays quiet, sitting at the kitchen table as I explain. I make sure to leave out everything that happened after I ended up back in my room. This sense of guilt washes over me as I make up an explanation that River slept on the couch and left this morning after checking up on me. I’d even thrown in the little detail of having breakfast just to ignore the truth about what really happened. I feel awful for lying to my mother, the one person I’ve always been closest to, but I can’t bring myself to disappoint her like that if I were to tell her what had really happened. When the explanation is finished I stand near her end of the table awkwardly and shuffle my feet, not wanting to sit down in fear something will come of the close proximity. She’s silent for a while, a few minutes pass and she does nothing more than fiddle with her hands and try to compose herself. “Sit down.” she mumbles at last and the hoarse, strained tone she uses makes me sit down worriedly. She tries to hold back the tears that hover at the corner of her eyes, like a dam waiting to overflow “Let me… Let me see the cuts.” she looks up at me at last and lets out the quiet command. “Mom…” the protest comes out of me before I really know what it is I’m going to say, anything really to avoid doing what she asks of me now. But the protest doesn’t have time to form, she cuts me off with this suddenly urgent tone. “Let me see, Elise.” I shrink back a bit at the sound of my name. She hasn’t called me Elise since that time I “ran away” at an amusement park when I was seven. The only time she uses my full name like that is when it’s absolutely necessary and it always had a way of making me crumble. Carefully I unravel the sloppy bandage River had made, flinching when the material sticks to my skin a bit as I pull it free. This strangled gasping sound leaves my mother’s mouth and I look away from the wad of cloth in my hand to see her leaving the room abruptly. I find myself staring back down at my arm. River did her best to clean it up but even after she had bandaged it, it continued to bleed for a bit and now it’s a mangled mess of blood, purple and black bruises, and white skin to remind me of everything that lead to it. Soon it’ll be a series of scars lining my arm that will always serve as a reminder of last night and everything that lead up to it. The sound of foot steps draws my attention away from the nightmare tattooed on my arm. Mom walks back into the room and sits back down with a first aid kit in her hand. “She didn’t wrap it properly…” she mutters, taking my arm and using what skills she learned at the nursing home to treat the cuts. “… But you’re lucky she was even there in the first place.” she continues the sentence after a moment. I glance down at my arm for a brief second and instantly I know she’s right. Five minutes later and I would have had to get stitches, ten more and… “You could have died.” she says it simply, keeping her eyes on the wound as if she’s not able to hold my gaze. Blonde strands of hair fall infront of her eyes and she doesn’t seem bothered enough to set them back in place. As she dabs at my arm with an alcohol-soaked cloth, I find myself staring at the brownish gray roots emerging through the golden blonde. Ever since I could remember, she’s had that golden hair, when I was younger I liked to dye my hair with her in an effort to be more like my mom. I stopped dying it though, four years ago when my grandfather had died; I let it fade back to the raven hair Papi had passed down to me. Mom seemed to dye her hair more after that as if she tried to erase the pain. She rewraps the gauze and when she finishes she looks up at me at last. I snap out of my thoughts as she starts to speak “Do you understand that, Elise? You could have died. Do you know what that would do to me? To the family? and River?” she pauses for a moment to gather herself and for a blink second River floods into my thoughts. “Promise me this won’t happen again, Ellie. You’ll talk to someone if you feel like it might happen again, go to someone, anything, just don’t let this happen again. Okay?” I sniffle back my tears and nod slightly, “I promise.” after a minute she seems content with my response and she smiles faintly, “Good, now come here.” Before I can respond she’s hugging me and the action causes me to break down. I don’t know how long I cry but as long as it takes me to get the tears out, she stays there patiently, keeping the hug in place and murmuring words of comfort much like River had until at last the tears stop flowing. I pull away finally and she dabs at my eyes with a napkin from the table. “You should go back to bed, sweetie. You look exhausted. I’ll get you up in the morning and have breakfast for you before I go to work, sound good?” she smiles in that motherly way like she always does. “Yeah… Okay.” I reply and stand up in a rather sluggish means before shuffling my way back upstairs and into my room. I fall back onto the bed and stare up at the ceiling, my mind racing and clearly not intent on sleeping. For nearly an hour nothing crosses my mind but River and the main focus is how she left like she did. Little tears start to trickle down my cheeks and I try desperately to push all of my thoughts away. I start to trace the pattern on my shirt, following the lines of the cartoon animal printed on the fabric. I stare up at the ceiling as I move on to trace the next animal and soon I start to notice the cloud shapes caused by the way the ceiling was made. A few minutes pass as I lay there in that daze but despite my best efforts to stay sidetracked thoughts still creep up on me. For a brief second I confuse the worlds of reality and daydreams, thinking the hand tracing patterns on my shirt is River’s and not my own. My eyes drift close, no longer focused on the ceiling. Instantly I’m reminded of everything that happened last night and for a second I remember the very subtle happiness I felt when she was here. My eyes flicker open and before I know it, the rush is gone. I stare at the ceiling for a few minutes before forcing my eyes closed. My hand resumes tracing the patterns on the shirt and I try to bring back the thoughts of those short-lived moments with River. It doesn’t take long for thoughts to trickle in, after all she comes to mind even when I’m trying to push her away so of course she’s there to whirl around in my thoughts at a moment’s notice. I try to remember all the little details, trying to relive the cherished moments that had been so quickly replaced by ones of a duller kind. The first detail I remember about last night, for whatever reason, are her eyes. For all the years I’ve known her, they’ve always seemed distant, as if she were guarding herself or in deep thought about some terrible memory; more than likely some awful combination of both. But when those eyes were hovering over mine, for once they weren’t distant. They were focused, staring right at me; like she was peering in at my soul, at the very core of me. For the first time it felt like someone was actually looking at me. Not just glaring at the girl everyone picks on, or pitying the “poor child” some think I am; But she was actually looking at me for the human being I am. Not only was she seeing me, but she was caring for me as well, in a way. Every touch was filled with kindness, affection, and passion. Every caress she held seemed to take away the hits and kicks that Chloe and her friends had forced upon my body. At the time it felt like it meant so much more than what it was. When I woke up without her there and realized it was just her using me, I knew then that it was nothing more than her taking my virginity. But in that moment, when she was kissing me and making me feel wanted; it was so much more than what it turned out to be. But that was all a cleverly placed lie and this is what it turned out to be. I open my eyes again and stare up at the ceiling, my hand already in my pants. Anger courses through me. Anger towards River, towards anyone that’s ever wronged me. But mainly, anger towards myself for so easily falling for River’s tricks. Skipping the usual foreplay, I force my fingers inside me; trying to redirect all the anger. Months ago this act lost all sense of pleasure and was suddenly replaced by a sense of vengeance. It no longer provides for sexual release, now it’s only used as some twisted tool to punish myself. Tears start to form but as if pulled by some external force, my fingers don’t stop their current actions; only increasing the pace of their strokes in anger. Eventually I force an orgasm out of myself but it brings me little pleasure; only there to remind me that it’s sexual tension that led to the regretful decisions that were made the night before. In the aftermath I stare up at the ceiling, pulling my hand back out of my pajama pants. Despite the fact that what I’ve just done lost all pleasure long ago, it still serves as a distraction from pestering thoughts. But now, as I stare up at the ceiling and wipe my hand on some discarded piece of clothing, those pestering thoughts come racing back full force. I toss the unknown article of clothing somewhere on the ground and suddennly a sob works it’s way past my lips and before I know it, I’m crying. I don’t know how long I lay there and cry, but eventually I must doze off. Crying myself to sleep like so many nights before; the darkness surrounding me. Chapter 9, "Mistakes" ☯River☯ I wake up suddenly, sitting up right in a jolted confusion, sweat beading on my forehead. It was a nightmare, I know that much. Though I forget the details instantly after waking. I pinch the bridge of my nose and struggle to remember any part of the nightmare that lead to my sudden awakening. The only faint fragment I can pull out of the back of my mind is that it involved Ellie. With a gasp I remember that I was suppose to go over there; back to that dreaded house. I turn to dangle my feet over the edge of the bed and rub at my eyes before checking the digital clock by my bed. 2:38. How had I managed to sleep so long? I know during summer I can sleep a whole day away but I’ve never managed to sleep the day and half the night away. Maybe my body was trying to prevent me from waking, so I wouldn’t have to see Ellie. I stagger to my feet like a drunk and make my way to the bathroom to empty my full bladder before I explode. I trip on the threshold on my entrance and exit of the bathroom. I stumble through the dark and find my way to the kitchen, a plate of a leftover frozen meal in the fridge like I figured my mom would plan on providing. I snatch it out of the fridge and slump into a seat at the kitchen table without even bothering to reheat it. I scarf down the meal as quickly as possible to avoid the taste. For a while after my meal is gone, I just sit at the kitchen table, unsure what to do next. I look around the kitchen, lost; before standing up and walking back to my room. I pace around my room for a bit, trapped in my own thoughts. after at least a half hour of wandering around aimlessly, I flop on my bed in frustration. I know what I’ll have to do, not now, maybe not even today. But I’ll end up having to face Ellie again. I’m not sure how I plan to handle her, I haven’t thought much about the details of what I’m going to say when I go back there to get Zoey’s shirt back. Almost every fiber in my body is fighting the idea, willing me not to go. But still there’s this tiny nerve in the back of my mind that’s fighting against all the others, telling me to go see her. Somehow I feel like that small part of me is going to end up overpowering everything else. That scares me. It’s not just seeing her again that makes my nerves on edge, part of it is just the fact that she has such influence on me and she doesn’t even know it. If she ever did, a part of me fears that she’d use it against me and maybe that’s why I ran away like I did. Like I’ve been doing for months. Ever since that first kiss. “River?” Zoey’s groggy voice comes from the doorway, I sit up to find her crossing the threshold in her night shirt. “Hey, what’s up?” I try to sound cheery, putting on a smile on. “Thought you were awake, this is my only day off this week and you’ve managed to ruin my sleep already.” she grumbles, meaning it in a far more joking way then it came out with her sleepy voice. “Sorry” I mumble, fiddling with my nails. She sits on the bed across from me, folding her legs under her in a slow almost drunken movement; much like I had been when I woke up. “It’s fine, I can tell somethings up. What is it?” Funny things about sisters, they always sense when somethings off. “Nothin.” I mumble, but I already know it’s pointless to try and squirm my way out of this. “River. Spill it.” she hits my arm and gives me this stern glare. Sighing, I know I’ll have to explain. Maybe I can get the help from her I’m desperately needing, but then again there’s still that chance she’ll get upset and I really don’t need another conflict. Regardless the story starts slipping out of me and before I know it I’ve told her everything. She stares at me wide eyed when I tell her I’d slept with Ellie but she remains silent until my story is over. “You… slept with her? And you just left the house??” She gives me this astonished expression and already I can tell I’m going to be reprimanded for my actions. “Yeah…” I say cautiously.  “Jesus, River. What were you thinking? You never pull that leave in the middle of the night move.” I stare at my hands, too guilty to meet her gaze. “I just thought it would be better after everything that happened.” I weakly try to defend myself but even I can’t justify my own actions that night. “That’s never the better choice, lil sis. No girl likes waking up the next morning to find out it was a hit and run.” I look up at her in a flash. “It wasn’t like that! I just… panicked. I didn’t know what else to do, you know I would have done something stupid the next morning.” She takes in that last sentence and thinks it over for a minute. “I know you’re a screw up, hence why you ditched her after getting in her pants.” She pauses to let the jab sink in and it works, sinking it’s claws into my heart. I stare at my hands again as she continues. “But that girl’s been your only friend since… you know.” instantly I do know what she’s referring to and the painful memory resurfaces, still affecting my life so many years later. “Don’t remind me, you know better than to talk about that.” I grumble, pulling my eyes away from my hands to glare at her. Her expression softens at that. “I know, sweetie. What he did to you was terrible and we’ve all told you if you ever wanted to talk to…” She brushes my hair out of my eyes and I have to cut her sentence there. “We weren’t talking about that, weren’t you going to make some point about Ellie?” she sighs and moves her hand away from my hair; back down to my knee. “You’re right, I’m sorry I brought it up. It’s just… You barely made any friends when we moved after… What I’m trying to say is, that girl stuck with you through all of that and I know she means too much to you for you to let the relationship die like that. You messed up pretty bad but I know you know how to fix it, you’ll be fine.” she pats my knee encouragingly and after a minute of my silence she adds “She’s a really sweet girl, you know. I approve, I’ll back you up if mom and dad give you a hard time.” She smiles when I glance at her and I can’t help the giggle that slips out, “Thanks, Zoey.” “You know, I kinda always knew you liked her. I invented that puppy love look so you’re not fooling me.” She snickers and instinctively I hit her arm. “Go back to bed, sissy.” “Alright, Alright. Goodnight, River Bug.” She gives me a quick hug before shuffling out of the room. I lay back down and stare at the ceiling, too worried and energetic to go back to sleep. I glance over and check the clock again. 3:18. Ellie’s mom should probably be getting up for work right about now. For a moment I wonder if I should go over there now. But I quickly push the thought aside, fearing that she would be angry at me for what I had caused. If she knows it was mostly my fault her daughter hurt herself like that, she’ll kill me on spot. Better not take the chance, Ellie will probably be asleep anyways. So I’ll wait. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I stand infront of the front door of Ellie’s house. I’ve been standing here for nearly 15 minutes, unable to reach up and knock on the door. I shift my weight and my thoughts race with worry. Eventually I manage to trick my limb into finally ringing the door bell. “Come in!” after a minute Ellie shouts from somewhere inside the house. Cautiously I step inside the house, shutting the door behind me. I walk inside the house, stopping in the kitchen for a second; the memory of that knife coming back to haunt me. I move assed the kitchen and make it to the kitchen table before Ellie's voice stops me “The bill’s on the counter and the box is out back.” her voice reaches me from somewhere in the bathroom. Right after speaking she comes out, combing her hair. She freezes when she sees me, dropping her comb and her eyes widen in an almost fearful way. Just at the site of me, her eyes tear up. Before I can even say a word, she’s stepping back, knocking the forgotten comb out of her way and within seconds she’s gone. After a second of startled confusion, I follow after her; up the stairs and stop at the closed door of her room. “Ellie, I just wanted to talk to you. Please open the door.” “Go away.” is the quiet, muffled reply I catch. “Ellie just let me in, I’m not here to mug you or anything.” a minute or two of silence passes before I hear her moving inside. The door unlocks and she pushes it open slightly before disappearing into the darkness of her room. I wait a minute or so before pushing the door open and stand in the doorway. She doesn’t speak, she’s sitting on the far corner of the bed, pressed up against the wall with her legs pulled up to her chest; looking as if I’d attack her if she weren’t squeezed into her hiding spot. She keeps her gaze on her hands as I move to hover over the bed. “Hey…” I mumble stupidly. She doesn’t even look up at me. “Look, I just came over here to…” I don’t know what it is I would have said. Made up an apology? Tried to explain why I had left? Made up another lie? Whatever it is I would have said, I’ll never know because she cuts me off before I can think of something to say. “W-why are you here? Can you just leave?” She glances up at me and all I see in her usually sweet eyes are hate. It nearly tears my heart in two and it stuns my reaction, for a few seconds I stand there flabbergasted. “… I just wanted to talk to you.” I mutter, still at a loss for words. “There’s nothing to talk about, just go.” she turns away from me to stare out the window by her bed. “You can’t just ignore me forever…” The statement was a stupid one, poorly thought through and obviously hurtful judging by her reaction; when she looks away from the scene outside the window to stare at me, I instantly regret opening my mouth. “Ignoring you? You left me, River. You used me and you didn’t even have the decency to stay the night so don’t talk to me about ignoring you.” “I didn’t use you…” “Bullshit.” She huffs at me and stands up before turning back to the window. “I didn’t, Jesus the least you could do is hear me out.” the irritated comment slips and again I instantly regret speaking.  Why can’t I just learn to not be a total jackass? “I don’t have to hear you out, I’m tired of you telling me lies. Just leave, River.” She turns to face me using this stern voice I've never heard her use; pointing to the door behind me as she speaks. “I’m not leaving until you let me explain.” I try to sound as stern as her but my voice comes out shaky and unsure. “You didn’t care enough to talk to me after you took my virginity.” She snaps back and by this point I can tell this is going to turn into a heated argument. “It wasn’t like that, you know I care about you. I just…” She pushes me and I stumble back, startled by the unexpected action. She starts to actually cry now, no longer able to hold back the tears that brimmed at the corners of her eyes. “Shut up! Stop lying to me, you don’t care about me!” she nearly shouts at me, shoving my shoulders again. “I’m not lying to you! Why can’t you just listen to me?” I shout back. “Why can’t you just leave?” She pushes me towards the door again and carefully I take hold of her hands. “Stop, you’re going to hurt your arm.” “Let go of me.” She hisses and tries to pull her hands free but for whatever reason I keep my hold. “I just want to make sure your arm’s okay, just hold still.” I grumble, trying to turn her arm over to look at the bandage. “My arm’s fine. Stop touching me, Let me go.” She growls again and pulls her hands free, moving to smack me but I grab both of her arms again before she can strike my face. “Ellie, stop….” She balls up her fists and hits my shoulders a few times. “Let me go, god…” She starts crying again “I fucking hate you.” The sentence catches me off guard and it feels like it would hurt me less if she had punched me. Somehow I still manage to keep my hold and after that sentence she seems to drain herself of the energy to fight. She simply gives up, resting her still balled up fists on my shoulders; clutching onto my shirt. She sniffles a bit in a weak effort to stop from crying. I struggle to find words to comfort her but I can’t manage to speak and good wording escapes me. Not knowing what else to do, I let go of her arms and reach up to move the hair out of her eyes. She looks up at me, her expression looking so pained it hurts me just to look at her; let alone hear her speak. Before she actually can speak or move away, I move to kiss her. She doesn’t even have enough fight left in her to pull away; she just stands there, frozen. Her reaction (or lack of a reaction) forces me to try to kiss her again, trying to gain a reaction from her. She kisses back a little bit this time, more out of obligation than really a want to kiss me. The kiss breaks and after a second I try one last time to get the reaction I’m so desperately searching for. This time she seems to cave in, kissing back as if she forgot that she was suppose to be restraining herself. Thrilled by achieving my goal, I deepen the kiss as if I needed her to kiss me back in order to survive. Like in that moment her kiss was the breath of life. I move closer and she stumbles back onto the bed. This feeling in the pit of my stomach resurfaces and I already know from past experience what my body plans on doing. But I don’t bother stopping myself, pulling at the button on her jeans. I realize I need this, more than I’d be willing to admit. But I need her, right now; squirming and moaning under me. She pulls her top up over her head, already knowing what’s next. Almost as if she has no choice. For a moment I almost stop myself but she tugs at my shirt and forces me to pull it over my head before taking my bra off too and tossing it aside. And just like that, the thought of stopping is erased as I do the same to her bra; moving to nip at her neck like she’s some meal I have to test out first before devouring. I move down to kiss her collarbone as she wiggles out of the now unbuttoned jeans. This time I don’t even have the patience to wait for her underwear to slip off. I slide my hand under the fabric, my fingers quickly finding the familiar spot that brings her so much pleasure. She gasps, startled by my impatience. Soon enough, she’s holding onto my shoulders like I’m the only thing keeping her steady. Her grip becomes almost painful. Her nails dig into my skin slightly when she climaxes. I hold her steady as she comes down from the high, the knowledge that I can do that to her forcing a fuzzy high of my own on me. A few minutes of silence passes before she finally softens the grip on my shoulders and looks away from the ceiling to lock eyes with me; looking like she's disappointed in the person I've become. The look in her eyes forces an “I’m sorry.” out of me. The apology slips out without me really knowing what it is I’m saying. “For what?” This bitter tone comes out of her that I’m not use to hearing from her naturally sweet voice. “For leaving. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I swear. I just… panicked.” She looks at me thoughtfully for a minute before muttering “It’s okay.” in a rather defeated way. “No, it’s not okay. I shouldn’t have hurt you after all I already put you through and…” she cuts me off with a soft, quick kiss and it silences my thoughts; giving her enough time to speak. “Don’t worry about it, it’s okay, really. I’m fine.” “Are you sure?” I stare at her doubtfully, knowing she’s not telling me the truth. “Yeah, don’t waste your energy worrying about someone like me.” she says it so softly, looking away and I almost don’t catch it. “Don’t talk like that… You don’t know how much you mean to me.” in that moment of weakness, I let the comment slip. She looks back up at me, her eyes finally rid themselves of that awful gloom they’ve had in them for so long now. For a brief second, they shine like they use to and the sight warms my heart just a bit. But before I have the chance to fully take it in, her expression changes to one of disbelief. “Do you actually mean that?” I reply almost instantly “I told you I wasn’t lying, I do care about you. I’m just… bad at showing it, I guess.” I mutter that last part sheepishly and at last, I pull a smile out of her. She moves up to kiss me again and the kiss lasts a bit longer than the last, leaving me in a blissful daze. She pulls away and it takes me a second to realize she’s talking again. “Will you stay this time?” she asks so hopefully that it makes me crumble before I can even think of running away again. “Of course I will.” I move to kiss her cheek, pulling an adorable giggle out of her before I move to her side and pull a blanket over her. She curls up at my side just like she did the first time. But this time I don’t hesitate to hold her closer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We talk for a while. About pointless things really, but somehow I don’t mind the pointless chatter like I usually do when Chloe or her friends would jabber my ear off. Ellie’s not like them. She talks in this adorable shy voice about all the good things from our childhood, this horse she got to ride not long after I had walked out on her during that awful summer. She talks about nice fuzzy things instead of all the awful drama I hear from Chloe’s friends. Ellie’s nothing like them. She’s a million times better, she’s someone actually worth being around. As ridiculous as it is to say, she’s one of a kind. The kind of girl that the good guy in the movie always searches for. And here she is, curled up in the arms of a girl who’s a complete screw up. I don’t deserve this girl. The thought hits me like a wall and I know in an instant it’s the truest thought I’ve had in months. “River?” She glances up at me a couple minutes into the conversation, trying to hide a yawn. “Hmm?” I look away from the ceiling to see that cute, sleepy look on her face. “You’re thinking … You’re not thinking of leaving again, are you?” she asks worriedly. “No, I was thinking about you.” I answer honestly, for once. “Really?” she beams at me, trying to  hold back another yawn. “Yeah.” I kiss her forehead and smile at her. “Get some rest. We can take a nap and then we’ll get some lunch. How’s that sound?” She smiles at me sleepily. “Sounds… good.” she mutters before nodding off. I play with her hair and watch her sleep for a while; calm, easy breathing. Until finally I doze off too. Chapter 10, "Secrets"   ☀Ellie☀ I wake up about midday, the sound of a car pulling into the drive is the first sound my sleepy head registers other than River’s slow breathing. I nuzzle into the comfortable spot beside River and almost go back to sleep. Before I realize who’s car is pulling into the driveway. “Ellie, I’m home. I hope you’re up by now.” Mom shouts from somewhere downstairs. I sit upright in a flash, pulling the blanket with me. River jolts awake with the sudden movement, “W-what’s going on?” she asks, startled by the rude awaking. “My mom’s home. Get dressed, quick.” I mumble a response, tossing her clothes at her as I pull on mine. She puts them on groggily, barely getting dressed before my mom walks in. She takes in the scene for a second but doesn’t seem too fazed, “Oh, Hello River. I didn’t know you’d be stopping by. I’m glad you woke Ellie up for me, god knows she can sleep all day if not disturbed. I’m about to make myself some lunch, you two come down in a few minutes and I’ll have some wings ready.” She leaves the room without even letting us speak. “That was close.” River snickers, fixing my undone pants that mom somehow didn’t notice. “You don’t think we were obvious or anything, do you?” I turn to look at her hopefully and she gives me this cocky grin, “She’ll never suspect I had you moaning a few hours ago.” she snickers again. “Jerk.” I hit her arm playfully and she moves to wrap that arm around my waist. “Deal with it.” she kisses my neck and I pull away, startled by her sudden affection. “What’s wrong?” “N-nothing.” when she gives me that concerned look, I can’t seem to hold her gaze. I still can’t believe her. “El, talk to me, did I do something?” she moves to hug my waist again, resting her chin on my shoulder and staring at me quizzically. “No… I’m just not use to you being… nice, I guess.” She seems almost hurt by that answer and after a minute she moves to hug me tighter. “I’m sorry, I’ve really fucked things up, haven’t I?” I look away from her to look out the window. “No…. I just don’t know what to think, is all.” She moves away from the hug so she can look me in the eye.“You know I never meant for any of it, right? I didn’t mean for any of the bullying, or what Chloe and her friends did to you, or… leaving like I did.” “I know…” I mutter instinctively, I don’t really know. How can I still be trusting her after everything she’s done? “I know I’ve been a total ass but I’ll fix everything. I swear.” I think her words over for a minute. Honestly what do I have to lose? What more could she do to me? “Okay.” I manage a smile and she smiles back at me, moving to kiss me lightly and it catches me off guard. That’s the first time she’s kissed me without it being in the middle of a fight, without any sex involved before or after. It was simply a kiss, like a normal girlfriend would do.  Girlfriend... “River… what does this make us now?” I regret asking as soon as I open my mouth. She stares at me wide eyed, like she was hopping I’d never ask that question. Maybe there is a little more damage she can do to me. “I don’t know, Ellie. We really shouldn’t talk about that now… Your mom’s probably done with those wings, we should go eat.” She stands up and starts walking to the door. I grab her arm before she can get away from me, she’s not getting out of it this easy. “Wait, why can’t we talk about it now?” “It’s just… I really don’t want to hurt you again and I’d just rather not talk about this right now, come on we should go eat.” She tries to pull me to the door but I stand my ground. ‘I don’t want to hurt you again’ “You don’t like me do you? Is that why you don’t wanna talk about what this makes us? You don’t want to deal with rejecting me, right?” “Oh, god. Ellie, don’t give me that look. You know that’s not why….” “I don’t know, if you don’t like me you could have just said that from the beginning, you didn’t have to force yourself to have sex with me or whatever you were doing…” She stops my sentence by putting her hands on my shoulders. “Stop it, you worry too much. I didn’t force myself to do that. I do like you, so stop saying that before I pinch you.” that pulls a small smile out of me. For a minute we stand in silence before I finally get up the courage to ask “Does this make us… together or something?” her eyes widen to that cartoon size again and for at least two minutes she stands in silence. “Look… I haven’t dated anyone like, ever, and for good reason. I’m just… scared of people.” she admits that last part so quietly I think I hear her wrong at first. River, scared of people? I’m sure I heard her wrong, she’s not scared of anyone. She’s scared of me . I realize after a minute. “You’re scared of me?” she moves away from me a bit, shifting her weight nervously. “Yes… Tell anyone I said that and I’ll deny it. But I am, it’s hard to explain… I’d have to tell you about my past, why I moved here.” “Oh… You don’t have to, I know you hated talking about it when we were little. It doesn’t matter, we can just keep being friends…” I had the whole sentence planned out, I’d planned on telling her I’d be her best friend again and she wouldn’t have to talk about why she moved because I sensed it had something to do with a past relationship. I tried to get the sentence out but she cuts me off with a startling “No!” She tries to collect her voice before speaking again. “You have a right to know, you’re my best friend. And I don’t want to go back to the just friends stage. I really like you, I just… I’ll tell you tonight, okay?” “Okay.” I mutter, slightly confused. But if she doesn’t want to talk about it now I understand that. A small part of me gets overly excited that she trusts me enough to tell me something like that later. “Good.” She moves to kiss me on the cheek before nudging me towards the door again, “Can we eat now? I’m starving.” She rubs her stomach dramatically and it pulls a giggle out of me. “Let’s go.” When we get to the kitchen, Mom is already done reheating the wings she got from some store on her way home. She pushes the container of chicken towards us as we walk up to her. “Help yourselves. It’s nice seeing you again, River. What brings you by?” “Just checking on Ellie. Oh and I left a shirt around here, you haven’t seen it by any chance, have you?” Mom thinks her words over for a minute. “You mean the blood stained one I found in Ellie’s room before I left this morning?” The mention of the shirt makes me lower my head, staring at the plate I’m fixing with extreme concentration. “Yeah… That one.” River cringes a bit at the mention of the blood and instantly mom catches on. “It’s in the hamper, I’d planned on getting the stains out later…” Already, River’s moving to the laundry room; walking by mom into the small room in the far corner of the kitchen like she’s trying to hide. “Thanks, I’ll take care of it when I get home. I wouldn’t want to worry you with it.” She mutters as she digs through the hamper, finding the shirt quicker than she wanted. I watch her pick the shirt up carefully, staring down at the red stains grimly. “I’ll give you money for another one, I’d hate to keep it, if it were me.” Mom comments. “No… It’s okay, I have to give it back to my sister anyways.” River mummbles, balling the shirt up in her hand and walking back out to the counter; grabbing the last of the chicken. “River… I can’t thank you enough for helping the other night…” Mom starts, her eyes already watering. River stares at the ground as she walks to sit beside me at the kitchen table. “Don’t worry about it, Addie, I’d rather not talk about it though…” at that Mom nods her head in understanding and we eat the rest of our meal in silence. By the time the meal ends, River hints that she has to go home for something “important”. I’d expected her to leave, I’m just glad she gave me a warning first. And at least she did stay for a majority of the day, I can’t really ask much more from her. I tag along as she walks to the door, when she gets there she turns and notices I’m still around. I notice at pretty much the same time she does, wondering why I hadn’t gone off to do something. What did she need an escort to the door for? I never did it before in all the years we were friends, do I suddenly have some reason for following? “I’ll come by later, okay?” She makes sure her voice is too soft for mom to hear, not that she would; she’s all the way in the living room by now. “Yeah, okay.” I mutter, trying to sound placid through all my excitement. “Good, I’ll see you tonight.” She moves to kiss me briefly, just the small kiss leaving me dazed and lost when she leaves. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The day goes by at an excruciatingly slow pace. I must have paced back and forth in my room a hundred times, my thoughts racing with worry. Of course all I could think about was meeting River again and what I would say. I don’t know how I’m going to manage myself, I’ve never been very good with words. What am I suppose to say when she tells me whatever it is she wants to say? I don’t know how I’m suppose to react because for one, I don’t even know what exactly she wants to say. I know she has something going on, some past relationship she can’t let go or maybe someone hurt her. But whatever it is, I don’t know what I’m suppose to do. Is there something specific I’m suppose to say? Do I hug her? Jesus, I’m acting ridiculous. I’m over thinking things, I just need to relax. Things were so much easier before I kissed her, when we were best friends. I’d be a lot better off if thoughts like that would stop pestering me. I need a distraction. “Ellie, I’m going to the store. Do you want anything?” I jump to my feet and rush to get ready, I really need to go with her. I haven’t been out of the house in weeks. “Wait up, I’ll be down in a minute.” I shout in reply, she’s silent for a few minutes. “Oh… Okay.” I can barely hear her reply from up here and I know she’s thinking. I rush down the stairs and slip my shoes on. She smiles at me when I look up at her. “Hey, I bet we can find a shirt for Zoey. If I know River well enough, she’ll never get that shirt fixed up.” she chuckles a bit and somehow having her around and joking like that just melts my worries away. ☯River☯ I’d spent most of the day trying to get the stains out of Zoey’s shirt but most of the time I lacked the concentration or the desire to do it long enough to get the stains properly removed. I give up on the pointless project around noon, I’ll just get Zoey a new shirt at some point. I end up back in my room again, passing the time by staring at either the ceiling or the clock hanging on the wall. I try watching the little tv my dad had set up but I can’t seem to focus on that either. I try anything to pass the time but nothing seems to pull me out of my thoughts. I’m too worried about seeing Ellie again. I honestly don’t know how on earth I manage to get in the situations that I do. I could have found something better to say but somehow I let my past fuck me up again. I could have just told that I’m not good with relationships and at this rate she would have understood that instantly. But somehow I’d managed to tell her I’m scared of people and it sunk even further when she’d asked that one question that made me falter. ‘you’re scared of me?’ something about the way she asked just made me feel weak, like I had let what happened to me turn me into this pathetic child. It may have screwed me up a lot but the prideful side of me would never admit that and that’s why I slipped up. I told her I had a past and worse yet I told her I would explain what happened. In a few hours I’ll be over there again spilling the story I never wanted to speak of again. Just the thought of retelling it sends my mind reeling. I roll over and try to push the thoughts aside, eventually dozing off. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was only ten when it started, I didn’t understand anything when it came to things like that. I was only a child after all. If you had told me at that age what would happen to me in the future, I wouldn’t understand. But I would understand later, I would understand when it happened. I would understand every other day then on for the rest of my life what it meant. But I’ll never really understand why he did it. On my tenth birthday, my dad had thrown me a party. It was the first birthday party he had set up for me, he thought I was old enough to start having parties every year like my sister.My dad’s always been strange about certain things, some would say he was like that to save money but I know it’s just some kind of odd tradition he has. A family thing. On that party, everyone in my family came to see me. Most of them I had never seen in my life before and on my next birthday I wouldn’t see most of them again. But there was one person that I can remember 100% that always came to every birthday party. My father and Uncle Neil were always close so it never came to me as a surprise when he should up on my tenth birthday party. He was always around, he’d become just another part of the family. He got me a toy pony that year, I burned the damned thing years ago but I still remember playing with it in our back yard with my friends. That’s all I did on that first party. Until everyone’s parents had picked them up and took them home. Uncle Neil had picked me up and took me out of the back yard, carrying me into the kitchen. “Here, Ira. I brought you something.” he plopped me into my dad’s arms and at the time I was giggling up a storm. Dad set me down and I finally quieted myself. I brushed the pony’s hair as Dad and Uncle Neil talked. Uncle Neil came up to me before he left and smiled, I was too young then to know the smile was strained. “What a beautiful girl your daughter’s turning into, Ira.” He fluffed my hair and that’s when it started. No one had said anything specific, no one knew. Maybe at the time he didn’t even know, but that’s when it started. He had this troubled look in his eyes and a little thought came to him for a split second. I’m no mind reader but I knew, somehow I just knew something had came to him. And that little pestering thought would come back to haunt him. He fluffed my hair one last time when he was getting ready to leave and kissed my cheek before walking to the door, my dad not far behind him. “You’ll have the money soon, right?” Dad’s voice was hushed but I still heard it from the front door as I sat in the living room with that dreaded pony. Uncle Neil was silent. “You can’t keep bumming off me forever, Neil. I can’t keep protecting you.” Dad tried to warn him but he left without a word before Dad could continue. Things like that kept happening over the years, but as a child I brushed it off; not wanting to worry about the matters of adults. Children don't worry about money, the idea seems so foreign and such an odd concept. My parents always seemed to come up with the money when needed so sometimes I even wondered why they worried at all. I didn't know what you had to do to get the money, I didn't understand work, or selling your stuff, in some cases taking things too far just to get a few 20s here and there. I thought nothing of things like that, my childhood was for the most part innocent. That is, until Uncle Neil had showed up at my 12th birthday party with two other men. The three of them would soon shatter everything I had come to know in life. I don’t remember the first one well, my brain has learned to push him out of my memory. All I do remember is that he wore a hawaiian shirt that day and he was a balding, middle aged man. The other one I remember in far more detail, despite not wanting to. Much to my dismay over the years, I remember every detail of his face partly just because he was the one who was so close. That dark, merciless face still shows up in my nightmares. Uncle Neil had introduced me to them but now their names are no longer in my memory. He said they were his friends and they were just there because they all had somewhere else to be after my party. Dad didn’t like it at all that Neil had brought his friends but he said nothing of it. The party, for the most part, was actually nice. Just like each one before it and each one after. Dad had even gotten a bouncy house that year. It was only the event after the party that ruined my 12th birthday and would soon ruin more days than that. The whole party Uncle Neil and his friends had been standing off to the side, watching and talking quietly. But they never interacted like my dad and mom did so I quickly paid them no mind. Uncle Neil’s friends had suddenly decided to leave when the party was coming to a close and when the party had ended, only my dad and Uncle Neil were left there. My mom was out shopping and Zoey went to a friend’s house. I was all Dad’s responsibility and in the future he would beat himself up for everything that would happen. Uncle Neil offered to take me out for ice cream while Dad was cleaning up, Dad was reluctant at first but he seemed so worried with the mess that he agreed after a few minutes. So Uncle Neil picked me up and took me to his car. He started driving. The drive seemed longer than it should have, the ice cream place wasn’t too far from our house. After a few minutes I stopped playing with my toys and looked out the window, we were just passing the ice cream place. “Uncle, I thought we were getting ice cream.” he frowned when I spoke, as if my voice had reminded me that he had done something wrong. To this day I still think my voice reminded me that I was human, that I was family. “We’ll get ice cream on the way back, sweetie. My friends want to meet you, you’re a very special girl, you know.” I was too innocent to sense that something was wrong. “Is it because it’s my birthday?” I started to get excited, thinking he had planned some surprise for me. “S-sure…” Not long after he had said that he turned into an alley that lead to an empty looking warehouse. He parked the car and carried me inside. The two men from before were there. “Hello.” I smiled at them cheerfully, waiting for some hidden birthday gift that wouldn’t come. Uncle Neil set me down on this dirty, awful mattress, but I tried not to protest in hopes it would get me to my gift quicker. He walked back over to the two men as they counted out money. They handed it over and he looked back at me grimly. Suddenly I didn’t feel as excited, anytime an adult looked like that it never meant anything good. “Alright, just touching remember? We had a deal.” Uncle Neil mumbles to the taller, darker man. “Yeah, yeah. Relax, she’s probably too small for much else so I won’t bother and it’s not like he’ll try, he’s too worried about getting busted.” The man grumbled, nodding to the other man as he put his wallet back in his pocket. When Uncle Neil was satisfied, he put the money in his pocket and stepped aside for the man to walk up to me. The man kneeled down infront of me and looked me over like I was a dog in a pet store and he was picking from the lot. He grinned this wicked grin. “Nice kid you got, Neil. How’d you manage this one?” “My brother’s… I needed the money.” “Don’t you always? Shame you had to reach into the family funds like that.” The man infront of me snickered and takes a step back. “Why don’t you go first, newbie?” He shoves the other man in my direction and cautiously the balding man kneels down infront of me. “H-hello there, little one.” This second man was a lot shier than the first and for a few minutes he just stared at me. Every now and then he would reach out to feel my arm or my neck and the longer time passed the more handsy he got. Eventually the first man got fed up and pushed the balding man out of his way. “Oh, Jesus Christ. You don’t know what you’re doing at all, let me.” He yanked on my arm and pulled me to my feet. “Lift your arms, kid.” I did as he ordered and in one quick movement my shirt was yanked over my head. Uncle Neil stepped in when the man started undoing my pants. “Hey, what are you doing?” he hovered worriedly behind the man as my pants came undone. “This was part of the deal, Pettitt. You know that.” the man forced me to sit back on the mattress and pulled my pants off. That’s when I started to panic, my parents had warned me about things like this. This man was a bad person. I looked over at my uncle, who had moved back into the corner of the room. “Uncle, I wanna go home.” I pouted but my protest was quickly shot down. “Just sit still and be quiet and when we’re done here I’ll get you the ice cream I promised you. Okay?” I stared at him for a few minutes but when I was sure he wasn’t budging I reluctantly agreed. Adults always knew best, right? The man started touching me, at first just in normal spots; like my arms or legs. I didn’t feel comfortable with it like I usually did when my dad would pat me on the shoulder or my mom would take my arm in the store. But I kept still and silent like my uncle had told me to. Until the man started touching my sides and eventually my chest. I knew for certain then that his touches weren’t kind, they had evil intentions behind them. I squirmed, scooting as far away from him as I could. But he pulled me back and told me to sit still. I did for a few minutes, despite my discomfort. Until the touching kept getting worse and pretty soon I was crying for Uncle Neil to take me home. “Neil, I haven’t even gotten an inch into her underwear yet, shut the kid up.” The man growled at my uncle and reluctantly he moved towards us. “River, I need you to listen to me. Okay? Just sit still for a few more minutes and we’ll get the ice cream, I promise.” he had promised we'd leave and I'd be safe. At that age I was brought up to believe him. To trust him. Because he was family. I tried to stop crying and sat as still as I could manage. After a few more minutes the man reached the destination he’d been searching for. He put his hand inside my underwear and the instant my skin had contact I squirmed away again. That had been the last straw for the dark, cruel man. He pulled me back to him and ordered the other man to hold me down. He pulled my underwear off and I tried to get free but of course my efforts were in vain. I did everything in my power to block out the experience as the two men continued the rough touches. The first man stopped to unbuckle his pants, reaching one hand inside before continuing to touch and probe my body. The other man did the same and they went on with what they were doing for several minutes. I remember squeezing my eyes shut to block out the rest of the world until finally it stopped. The touching stopped, their rough, hot breaths moved away from me and they let me go. I rushed to put my clothes back on and ran back to the car. Uncle Neil joined me a few minutes later and tried to smile weakly at me. “How about I get you that ice cream now?” his voice came out strained and rough. “I’m not hungry now, I just wanna go home.” I muttered back. He sighed and a few minutes of silence passed. “I need you to do something for me, River… Don’t tell anyone about today. It’ll get us both in a lot of trouble, your parents would be furious. You wouldn’t want that would you?” I remember I had let out a “No.” barely above a whisper just so he would stop talking. “Good, that’s my girl.” He moved to fluff my hair but it no longer held the fondness it did before, now his touch only sickened me. It happened a few more times, he’d managed to sneak me out of the house once or twice every month. I don’t know what kind of excuses he used but eventually Dad or Mom must have seen through them. They found out what he was doing. The last time it happened he had brought me home and Dad had this look on his face, Mom couldn’t even come out of the bedroom. One small glance at how I looked was all it took for Dad’s assumption to become reality. When he realized what had happened it looked like the very core of him had exploded, that’s how angry he had been. He’d managed to get a confession out of Uncle Neil and that’s when the cops came out of hiding, they took Uncle Neil away and had to hold Dad back. He was screaming all kinds of things at my uncle, he looked as if he would kill him if the cops weren’t holding them apart. They managed to drag him out of the house and I never saw him again. The word ‘court’ came up and my parents went to the trial but they didn’t make me go, they said I had been through enough. So they kept me home with Zoey. In a few months my uncle was in jail, the money that he got from using me couldn’t help him. Chapter 11, "Touches and Whispers"  “River?” Zoey’s voice startles me out of the nightmare that I’ll probably never stop having. I gasp at the sound of my name, coming back into the real world in a panic. “Relax, sweetie. It’s just me.” when I realize who it is I end up crying into her shoulder, much like I use to do when I was smaller. She rubs my back and murmurs calming things to me for a few minutes before finally I stop crying. “You haven’t had nightmares like that in months. What happened?” She waits until the tears have stopped falling before she speaks up. “Nothing… I was just thinking…” “Oh… It’s okay, I still think about it too. Every day almost.” She mumbles, tightening the hug. “It wasn’t your fault, you and Dad need to stop blaming yourselves.” She huffs when I say that. “I know, we both do. It’s just as hard for us to stop blaming ourselves as it is for you to stop having nightmares about it.” I pull away from the hug and glare at her mildly. “I don’t have nightmares all the time.” I say it in an attempt to look less like a weakling but the tone that slips out only makes me seem more like a child.“Sure, sure. It’s getting pretty late, don’t you have somewhere to be?” She smiles, changing the subject because she knows how this conversation will go. “You’re right, I better go before I’m too late.” I mutter, rushing to find my shoes. “Have fun.” she calls out as I leave and even from the front door I can hear the mocking tone in her voice. The walk to Ellie’s house is painfully shorter than I wanted it to be, I don’t have any time to think about what to say. Or to turn around and back out at the last minute. Before I know it I’m standing infront of her house. I walk carefully around the side of the house. There’s no way I’m letting Ellie’s mom know I’m here, the last thing I need is her talking about what happened this week or her finding out about what I came here to tell Ellie. I barely want Ellie to know, I couldn’t handle it if Addie knew. I stare up at the window for a minute, the light’s still on. At least she’s still awake. I start climbing the ladder that’s been on the side of the house for years now and probably never will be moved back to the shed. God, I feel like a kid again. I haven’t done this since that time I was grounded when I threw a slushie all over a water park when I was 15 and wasn’t allowed to go anywhere for a month.I make it to the little roof and find my way inside the window. I stand there for a minute to catch my breath. I scan the room and realize I don’t see Ellie. Just as my brain processes the room, she walks into the room with a glass of grape juice in her hand. She jumps at the sight of me, screaming in surprise. I jump at her reaction and not long after I hear her mom react to it downstairs. “Ellie? Are you okay?” “I’m fine, mom… Just a spider.” After a minute her mom believes that and I hear her bedroom door shut again downstairs. Ellie shuts her door carefully before whirling around to growl at me. “What the fuck? You scared the hell out of me, I thought you were some kind of burglar.” somehow the expression on her face brings the old me back, the one that use to goof around and laugh with her. “I’m sorry, I just wanted to surprise you.” I snicker and she hits my arm, “Asshole.” She pouts. Something in her expressions forces these emotions out of me that I haven’t felt since that summer that seems so far away now. Lately she’s been bringing those untrustworthy emotions out of me more and more each time I’m around her. And the more I realize it, the more I realize I’m losing the fight to keep my feelings for her under control. The pout on her lips is quickly erased when the impulse to kiss her becomes too much. A muffled “mmph” leaves her as I nearly push her onto the bed in a familiar sense of haste. Shirts quickly fall to the ground, losing their importance and becoming a burden to our bodies. Soon bras join our shirts in the pile of forgotten things; suddenly leaving us with only our lower halves still covered. I grab at the strings on her pajama pants impatiently, tugging the soft fabric off her legs like it’s important to get her undressed in a short matter of time. I try to pull her pink underwear off next but before I can, I find her hands blocking the path mine were taking. Cautiously, she reaches for the button on my jeans, not as nearly as impatient about the act as I seem to be. Jesus, River, give the girl a chance to breathe . I try to slow my movements (along with the rate of my heart beat) to give her a chance to catch up. She manages to set me free of the jeans and I kick my way out of them, once again moving back to take off that barrier of pink cloth. My hand moves to take it’s place and within seconds my fingers are where they’ve been itching to be for only a matter of minutes. I hadn’t intended on this happening again when I came here, not that I mind where I am now. But I certainly hadn’t meant to be so impatient about it, nearly tearing her clothes off like an abstinent teenage boy that finally crumbled at the chance of getting laid. I’m going about this all wrong and I know it, but I’m too caught up in the moment to stop the movement in my fingers that’s already clearly set in rhythm.But something’s different about this time, not that I’d notice until after the fact; but a difference all the same. Before I know what she’s doing, her hands have somehow moved down to my boxer briefs. I really should have seen it coming, of course she’d try something like this. This is Ellie after all, the girl was born with a heart of gold so I don’t know why I ever believed She’d let it go on like this forever without trying to even the playing field for me. But still, I didn’t see it coming until her right hand is nearly all the way in my boxers and she’s just inches away from touching… In the blink of an eye I suddenly feel like I’m a child again and that awful man is reaching into my underwear. I shiver at the contact of skin, even though it’s Ellie and not the man I dread seeing in my nightmares. “STOP!” My brain doesn’t register the touch as Ellie and I grab her hand, roughly pulling it away from my body before moving as far away on the other side of the bed as I can manage. For a brief moment my mind still thinks I’m in danger, somehow trapped in my childhood again and it takes me a few minutes to calm my breathing. “I-I’m sorry… I should have known you wouldn’t want me touching you, I just thought… I’m sorry, River… Are you okay?” Ellie wraps a blanket around herself before staring at me with this unbelievable guilt in her eyes, like she did something wrong. “I… I’m fine.” I rush to cover myself with one of her covers, again feeling like the vulnerable child I once was. A few minutes of silence passes as I calm my thoughts.“God… I must be the biggest screw up possible. I barely even touched you and I scared you nearly half to death. I must be pretty bad at this, huh?” she chuckles nervously and glances up at me for a second before staring down at her hands again. It takes a moment for the statement to fully sink in. “Wha… No, no, that’s not it. It’s not you…” “Right, is this the part where you do the whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me thing’?” If only she knew how much it actually is me. But she’s right, I can’t use that stupid, overused line. As much as it makes sense right now. “It’s really not you though, you’re perfect. It’s just… A pass issue, I guess.” She stares at me thoughtfully when I say that and I can practically see her choosing from a line up of things to say. “Does it have to do with what you came over here to talk about? You know the thing we didn’t actually get around to because we somehow got too caught up in this.” She smiles at me when I manage to make eye contact and somehow that comment pulls a laugh out of me. Before I realize that this is the moment when I have to tell her. “Yeah, actually…” It feels like it takes me centuries just to stutter and stumble through the whole back story. When the last of the story finally leaves me all I get in response is this stunned, silent expression. I look away from her to stare at the digital clock by her bed, finding anything but her to look at. Turns out it was only 30 minutes, not all the life times that it felt like.With my focus on the clock, I don’t see the hug coming until skin and a thin sheet press against me in this startlingly strong hug. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I’m your best friend, you should have told me… I’m so sorry, River. I feel horrible, I probably made matters worse just now.” She murmurs on for a bit before tightening the hug more.“It’s fine… Can you let go just a bit? I can’t breathe.” I mutter between gasps for air and before I can even finish the sentence she lets go. “Sorry…” “Stop apologizing, you goob.” I try on a smile that somehow doesn’t seem as strained around her as it usually is around anyone else. “Right, sorry…” I can’t help but to chuckle at that, but I keep silent; hoping she’ll come up with something to say. Something that won’t involve the darker parts of me that somehow seem to keep coming back to haunt me. “Soo… Wanna stay the night?” she asks suddenly with this hopeful tone in her voice like when we were younger and use to have sleep overs. Oddly enough, the sleep overs have a double meaning now. “Sure, El.” “Great! I have a movie we can watch and I just bought some new pajamas today, I’ll lend you a pair.” She smiles excitedly and rushes to pull her clothes back on, nearly skipping out of the room to get something before I can get a word in inch wise. By the time I find pajamas to wear, she comes back with a dvd of some random movie. She starts the movie and moves back to sit beside me on the bed again. We use to do this all the time, find a movie to watch and just lean against the headboard and talk about anything rather than watch the movie we picked. Somehow we fall back into that routine like nothing ever happened, as if we’ve been best friends all this time and nothing ever changed. That fuzzy, uncontrollable emotion sneaks up on me again and just like before I start to feel like I don’t deserve to be here like this. I’m with the most kind hearted, unbelievably sweet person I know right now and for some reason she’s looking at me and talking to me like I’m the great one. I’ve done nothing but hurt and tear this girl down and somehow we’ve managed to bounce back and even more so she still sees something in me. What on earth could she possibly see? What am I missing? Near the end of the movie, she ends up leaning on my shoulder and by the time the movie’s over she’s nearly sleeping in my lap. I watch the words fly by on the black screen, not wanting to move in fear of waking her. Eventually the dvd makes it back to the menu screen and I’m forced to scoot away from her to turn off the tv. I turn off the light too and turn on the small bunny shaped night light on her nightstand before moving back under the covers. It’s kind of odd that a 17 year old girl still has a nightlight but honestly I don’t think I can blame her for still having a fear of the dark.“River?” Her quiet, half asleep voice startles me out of my thoughts; I hadn’t known she had woken up. “Hmm?” “Are you going to bed?” She yawns and the expression that settles upon her face is absolutely priceless. “Yeah, El. We should get some rest.” I play with her hair for a moment before moving to kiss her forehead. She’s silent for a minute and at first I think she dozed off again. Until her hand moves to my arm and in the dim light I can just barely see her movements. She kisses me, it’s short and sweet but it still leaves me at a loss. “Night, River.” she mutters before curling up in my arms and within seconds she’s asleep. At first I don’t know how to respond, I’m not at all use to the sort of relationship that seems to be growing out of this. But it’s nice, surprisingly comfortable. Something I could get use to if I ever let go of my fears. Which I probably won’t anytime soon. Regardless of the little thought, I pull her closer and suddenly it feels like she’s the only thing keeping me grounded. She buries her nose in my neck, sleep still getting the better of her. “Good night, Ellie.” I find myself muttering, even though I know she’s probably sound asleep by now. She makes a soft noise in her sleep and after a few minutes of silence, sleep gets the better of me too. Chapter 12, "New Starts"   ☀Ellie☀ I wake up to the sound of birds chirping on another sunny morning. I rub at my eyes for a minute and try to remember life before the dream world. I realize I’m facing my night stand and groggily I reach out to turn the bunny light off before checking the clock. 6:58. Mom moving around down stairs must have woke me up, she’s usually up by this time. Which means it’ll be time to get up for school in a few minutes. I could postpone it to another week if I really felt that it was unsafe for me to go, but honestly there’s no point in it. As much as I’m dreading this monday, I need to go. I can’t keep letting Chloe and her bitch posse affect my life. Groaning, I try to pull my blanket off me. For the first time since I woke up, I notice a figure hugging my waist. The figure groans and moves further under the covers, pulling me closer and attempting to resume sleep. In an instant I know it’s River and suddenly my brain wakes up fully, remembering now how she got here. “River, wake up.” I try to pull away from her grasp, nudging her away a bit in an effort to wake her before my mom comes up here to make sure I’m up. “Stoooppp!” River growls, pulling the cover over her head before hugging my waist again. If I wasn’t worried about Mom, I’d let her sleep. I’m not use to the idea of her cuddling with me but it’s something I find surprisingly comfortable. “Seriously, get up. You know my mom hates it when you sneak in here.” I mutter in an effort to keep my resolve. “She shouldn’t complain about me using the ladder if she won’t move it.” is her only reply. “Ellie, Are you up?” Mom shouts from the bottom of the steps as if she heard us. “Shit.” I mutter under my breathe, finally managing to pull out of River’s grasp in my panic. But I pull too far and suddenly I come in contact with the carpet floor. Pain from every one of my bruises shoots through me. The thud of me hitting the floor wakes River and causes Mom to shout something in worry at me. “Are you okay?” River gets up and rushes to my side of the bed, this guilty look on her face. “I’m fine. Go, she’ll be up here any second now.” I get up, grabbing her shoes on the way and shoving her to the window. She rushes to slip the shoes on, not having enough time to change out of the pajamas I gave her. I hear Mom start to walk up the stairs at a worried pace, like I’m an elderly woman that fell out of bed and she’s the nurse that comes to my rescue. “Hurry up, she’s coming.” I whisper. tossing River’s jacket at her. With the shoes finally in place, she opens the window; throwing one leg over and out onto the roof. I come up behind her, waiting to close the window and the curtain behind her. She turns to face me and startles me with a kiss on the cheek. “See you at school.” the smile she gives me seems to melt me just a bit before she moves to climb out the window. Within seconds she’s gone and I close the window. Mom opens the door and I jump a bit, snapping the curtains shut. I turn to face her and try to act normal as she looks around the room. “I heard a noise, you didn’t fall did you?” She asks me worriedly, her gaze falling on me at last and I let out a sigh of relief; knowing the coast is clear. “I fell out of bed, I’m fine though.” she gives me a look, but tries not to seem too worried about it. “Alright… Well, since you’re up. Do you think you can go to school today? If you don’t want to you know I can work something out with the school.” “No, Mom. I’m fine, I want to go back.” I answer with a surprising amount of determination in my voice. Again she goes quiet, thinking it over. “Oh… Well, alright. But only if you’re 100% sure.” She says with this timid look in her eyes, like she can’t trust me. “I’m sure.” I smile at her in hope of erasing that unsure look in her eyes. Her lips move up slightly to match her eyes timidness with a small nervous smile “Well, you better be getting ready then.” with that she leaves the room and when the door closes behind her, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Within the next hour, I’m sitting in World History, watching the clock. I forgot during my mini vacation how much I hate being here, knowing half the girls around me belong to the Chloe Clan. I can practically feel their icy glares the whole time I take notes. The bell rings at last and I rush to my next block. Thankfully, there’s hardly anyone in my Yearbook class and what people that are in this class are no where near the popularity group Chloe or any of her friends are in. I get to sit in peace for an hour, rearranging pictures for the art page. Lunch arrives quicker than I had expected, being so caught up in the yearbook I almost didn’t hear the bell. I log off of the computer and grab my bookbag. “See you tomorrow, Ellie. Good work today.” Mr. Pendum smiles at me as I start to leave. I mutter a quiet goodbye in return before walking to the lunch room in silence. The line is already getting long by the time it takes me to get there and it takes me nearly ten minutes to get my food. I start walking back to the door that leads to the hall, planning on going to Robin’s office as usual. But this voice I know all too well stops me as soon as I pass her table. “Hey, freak. Wait up. I didn’t get to welcome you back.” Chloe gets up from the lunch table and walks over to stand in front of me. I freeze up as soon as her green eyes lock onto mine with this intimidating glare. I don’t know what to say, if I could manage for my now dry mouth to form words anyways. I spot River sitting at their table, silently. “What’s the matter, Freak? Cat got your tongue?” Chloe jabs a perfectly manicured nail into my shoulder and I flinch back, instantly fearing another beating. “Aww, Don’t worry. I can’t kick your ass… yet. But that doesn’t mean I can’t give you a wardrobe adjustment” This almost evil looking smirk appears on her perfect lips and usually I would envy her. But at the moment I only fear what she plans to do. Before I can get a word out or even try to understand what it is she’s going to do, my tray suddenly flips out of my grasp. She knocks the food onto the front of my shirt. Thankfully only a fruit cup and my milk are the only things that manage to make a mess. But still, her sting sets in when I start to hear the other girls around her laughing. I look around the room for an escape, no teachers near by to run to, no friends. Only River. Sitting there silently with this pained expression on her features. I don’t know what I expected when I came back, for her to be my friend again? For her to stand up for me? Who was I kidding? I rush out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom. Tears are already streaming down my cheeks as I make it to the mirror and start dabbing at the milk with paper towels. I quickly give up and retreat to the stall at the very end of the room, hiding in the corner. I lean against the wall and try to stop from crying. A few minutes passes but the tears don’t stop falling. Another girl walks into the bathroom and immediately I hold my breath, my tears stopping in an effort to make me invisible. “Ellie?” as soon as I hear that guilt filled voice, the breathe I was holding comes out in a sob. River moves to stand infront of the door. “Ellie, it’s just me… Can you let me in?” her voice still sounds guilty and when she asks she sounds so hopeful that I don’t know how else to react other than opening the door. She steps into the stall cautiously and shuts the door behind her again. “It’s okay, hardly anyone comes in here. We should be fine until lunch is over at least.” She turns to face me again when she finishes that statement and she stares at me for a few seconds. “I, um, I went to the nurse and she had some spare clothes from gym…” She fiddles with the shirt in her hand for a minute. “Why did you come here, wouldn’t you rather hang out with Queen Perfect?” I grumble and she looks up at me with that guilty look in her eyes again. “I’m sorry… God, I’m such an idiot. I don’t know why I was even sitting with them, I didn’t know she would do that. I swear.” “Yeah… well neither did I.” I mutter in response, moving to lean against the wall again. She moves to stand in front of me, just inches away. “I’m really trying to fix things, Ellie. I know it doesn’t seem like it with how I just watched and did nothing there…” “Why didn’t you say something?” the question leaves me before I can stop it, coming out in this angry tone. “I… I didn’t want them to find out. I don’t know what I was thinking, I thought if I didn’t get in her way she wouldn’t catch on about… us.” Us… any other time that wording would have made me happy beyond words but the fact that she intended to hide the whole thing quickly shoots down the idea. “Oh… of course.” “It’s not for the reasons you think, I just… I thought they would pick on you more. They would be harassing us both and then there would be nothing I could do to protect you.” “And what are you doing to protect me now?” I snap back almost instantly, somehow surprised by the tone in my own voice. She goes quiet for a minute. “You’re right… I’m sorry I’m fucking this up so bad…” the look in her eyes seems to melt the sudden boldness in me. I’ve never seen her like this, she hardly ever looks this guilty. The girl is known for never backing down once she’s put her thoughts into action. But yet here she is, right infront of me; trying to take back her actions. “It’s okay.” somehow I find myself still taking her apologies. In an effort to escape looking her in the eye, I stare down at my shirt, still soaked in milk and covered in fruit. “I know what I need to do now, I’ll make things right this time. I promise.” She touches my cheek with the tips of her fingers and the sincerity in her voice makes me look up again. I don’t know how I’m suppose to respond to the silent question of acceptance she’s asking; hidden under her promise to make things better. If I were smart I would have cut her out of my life the day her friends beat me up, but instead I let her into my heart and now she has a hold of it like the strings of a puppet. And for some reason I don’t seem to mind. The only thing I can manage to do to answer her silent question is to lean forward and kiss her. She kisses back as soon as we make contact, like I gave her the exact response she was hoping for. The kiss lasts a lot longer than all of the other kisses we had before, something about this moment makes the kiss different. This time there was no sex involved, no arguing, no haste to the kiss. It’s not a quick kiss goodbye before my mom catches her, it’s not one of those post sex kisses or like the one genuine kiss she gave me before that awkward meal with my mom. This time she actually let me kiss her, something she usually doesn’t do. In a weird way it’s like kissing her is something I have to earn, like each kiss is some level up in this weird game she’s playing. But somehow I’m getting through to her. She’s letting her walls down, for me of all people. Much to my disappointment, the kiss has to end at some point and reluctantly I pull away. When the kiss breaks, she still hovers around with this uncertainty that I usually don’t see in her. After a minute she presses her forehead to mine “I really am sorry… I never have been very good at social interactions.” She chuckles a bit and seeing her settling back to her normal self pulls a smile out of me. “That’s okay, clearly it’s not my specialty either.” I joke back, gesturing to my now ruined shirt. “Chloe’s just a bitch… I could spend all day on that topic, but I’ll spare you the trouble… Here, you should get changed before third block starts.” in an effort to avoid the subject of Chloe or any other sore subjects, she starts tugging at my shirt and I lift my arms absent-mindedly. She tugs the shirt over my head in one swift movement and as soon as the shirt leaves me I start to miss its presence. Why hadn’t I thought to tell her I could handle it own  my own? She smirks at me and I should be relieved that she’s completely back to her normal self but I know her well enough to know that smirk means trouble. “What?” I ask worriedly. “Nothing, you just look really cute when you blush like that.” She replies like it was the simplest thing in the world to say to me and in an instant I feel my heart skip a beat. Before I can react, someone rushes in and a stall near the entrance slams shut. Someone else follows right behind them and subconsciously River steps back, trying to hide in the shadows of the stall. Following right behind her cowardliness, I hold my breathe and my movements nearly freeze as the two girls start talking. “This is my favorite shirt, Do you think this milk will be very noticeable when it dries?” The girl in the stall questions with this quiet, adorable voice. “I don’t know and I already told you if you’d tell me who did it I’d kick their ass.” the other girl leans against the stall right beside the one River and I are still hiding in. “Don’t worry about it, you can’t afford to get in anymore trouble because of me.” The other girl makes a protest but I don’t catch it because River nudges my arm. “Come on, it sounds like they’re having the same kinda day as us.” She opens the stall door and motions for me to walk out. Cautiously I step out of the stall to find a raven haired girl still leaning against the other stall. She notices the door opening and moves out of the way before going back to standing infront of the stall the other girl is still in. She gives us an odd look as soon as we step out of the stall and for a few seconds she studies us. Until she sees the messy shirt balled up in my hands and this look of understanding falls onto her features. “They got you too, huh?” this quick flash of anger shows up in her blue-gray eyes. I nod silently and she scuffs. “Fucking unbelievable, I went to talk to a teacher for like a minute and they milked Shay. Don’t worry, once I find out who it was, they’re in for it.” “Babe, I already told you to let it go.” ‘Shay’ mutters from the other side of the stall door. “I’ll let it go after I shove that milk carton up their ass.” the girl moves away from the stall door to hand me a handful of paper towels. I take the towels and try on a smile that doesn’t really match my mood right now. As I dab at the shirt with the towels, Shay unlocks the stall door and steps out. The first sight that greets me in the mirror are streaks of blue and red in brunette hair. At a quick glance, I notice her wardrobe consists of more bright colors than her friend. (who’s dressed in nearly all gray and white) the very next thing I notice is a heart shaped necklace that seems to match the one the raven haired girl has around her neck. “So?” the girl I still don’t have a name for leans against the sink and looks Shay up and down. “I think it’ll be okay when it dries. Can you chill now?” the only reply Shay gets is a small ‘hmmpf’. She gives the other girl a stern look before turning her attention to me. Just like the first girl, she studies me for a minute before cracking a smile; like she knows something I don’t. “I have this stain remover pen that works miracles in my bag, you can borrow it if you want. I’ve learned to come prepared by now.” a small part of me starts to resent River for managing to fade into the background and leaving me to be social for once. “N-no thanks, it’s not that big of a deal.” I mutter, focusing more on the shirt and the floor rather than eye contact. “Oh, nonsense. Aero is so expensive. What class do you have next? We just moved here, maybe we’ll have a class together.” Shay smiles at me with this friendly smile I usually don’t get from people. “Uh, Finance.” I reply, just barely able to remember the class. Her green eyes seem to light up at that, “Me too, I’ll dig through my mess of a bookbag and find it when we’re in class. I’m Shaylee by the way.” She sticks out her hand and I hesitate for a second before shaking it. “Ellie.” “Nice to meet you, Ellie. Sucks we had to meet because of some jerk with food spilling issues, but at least we’re not alone, right?” like always, I can only manage a nod in response. River coughs as she leans against the wall, a clear sign that she wants to leave. Before I can leave or follow out behind her, the other girl speaks up again. “Sweetie, can you save the meet and greet for later? I think you’re boring your new friends.” She moves to stand closer to the shorter girl, giving River a sympathetic look. River tries to soften her expression at that, attempting to look less hostile than she already does. “No, it’s fine. It’s just been a long day. I’m River.” She offers her hand out to the girl and she accepts the handshake with a stern shake. “Kathy. I know how you feel. Our families transferred us here and we still have to deal with shit like that. But this place is better than our old school, I couldn’t leave Shay alone for a second without someone doing something stupid. I bet you know how that is, right?” she looks River over for a second before moving back to Shay’s side. River looks back at her like a guilty fellon. “Y-yeah… I haven’t been doing a very good job at protecting Ellie lately.” She glances at me miserably, shifting her weight. “Hey, don’t beat yourself up, I know exactly how you feel. It’s definitely a lot to handle when their all picking on you and your girl like that.” Kathy gives River another one of those sympathetic looks before wrapping her arms around Shay’s waist. Shay breaks into this unbelievable smile and for some reason their actions catch me off guard and all in an instant I realize what Kathy’s talking about. For some odd reason, this wave of relief rushes over me at just knowing we’re not the only ones in the school with that ‘problem’. But the idea doesn’t seem to settle well with River. “Um, well… She’s not my girl. We’re just…” her statement hurts as soon as she starts to form it, but luckily I don’t have time to react to it because Kathy cuts her off. “Just friends? I understand. Hell, I still haven’t told my parents. I got transferred for fights and Shay for being picked on. We get the whole cover up thing.” Somehow it’s like she sees right through us, like she can read River’s mind. And just like typical River, she doesn’t like the idea of someone seeing through her lies so easily. “We’re not the same. I don’t know what gave you the idea but don’t you think you’re jumping to conclusions a bit?” she grumbles, trying to control the tone in her voice that already sounds pissed off. Shay jumps in as the referee, “She didn’t mean anything by it, Kath just likes to give friendly advice even when it’s not needed sometimes.” She gives Kathy a look and Kathy seems to read her thoughts just like she did with River. She decides to silently bury her nose in the shorter girl’s shoulder to avoid any more confrontations. Satisfied, Shay turns her attention back to us. “Well the bell’s gonna ring soon. We have to go, see you in class Ellie.” She smiles this cute, innocent looking smile before nearly dragging Kathy out of the bathroom. I turn back to River, her tough act leaving her as soon as the girls are gone. “Was that you protecting me?” I grumble before she has a chance to make up an excuse. “It was… I just don’t want anyone to know, Ellie. Chloe has her ways of finding things out and you know what’ll happen if she finds out.” when she says that, I know she’s telling the truth. Some small part of me still thinks she’s just ashamed or something, but I know better than anyone what it’s like to be on the receiving end of Chloe’s wrath. “You’re right, I guess we just won’t tell anyone.” Even though I know how right she is, this small hint of disappointment shows up in my voice and she catches it instantly. “Just for now, I’ll figure something out. Okay?” she brushes a strand of hair out of my eyes and the look she gives me forces the pout on my lips to vanish. “Alright.” I mutter defeatedly. The sound of the bell breaks the air between us and she pulls away as the halls start to fill with students. Reluctantly, I head off to class, not willing to deal with the rest of this dull day. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Monday is finally over, much to my relief. But it was only the first day back and I still have a whole week to go through, dealing with all the bullshit that comes with high school. Tuesday isn’t any better, it’s slightly less eventful but Chloe still throws comments at me every chance she can get. River doesn’t sit with her at lunch like she did the day before. Instead she drags me over to this empty table away from all the others, insisting that I eat in the lunch room with her. Shay and Kathy are sitting at the table beside us but they seem too busy talking about something to notice anyone else around so I don’t speak up or offer for them to sit with us like I know River would. But she doesn’t seem focused enough herself to notice them anymore than they do her. So a silent lunch falls into place until I notice Chloe strolling up to the table across from us with two other girls behind her. Shay stops talking to Kathy mid sentence when she sees her and shifts in her seat uncomfortably. Apparently the same one that milked her yesterday was the same one who picks on me everyday. “Can we help you? We’re kinda in the middle of something.” Kathy grumbles, not yet realizing just who Chloe is. Chloe giggles, a sound that’s meant to sound innocent but I see right through it and all I hear is trouble. “I’ve seen you two around school and I’ve been dying to talk to you. I didn’t get the chance to yesterday. You must be my little buddy’s girlfriend.” Chloe moves to give Shay a one armed hug like she would ever actually befriend the girl. Shay shifts uncomfortably, this look of worry settling onto her cute features.“Uh… Yeah. Shay didn’t mention you, nice to meet you.” unlike yesterday with River, Kathy doesn’t give a hearty handshake or a genuine smile. Her ‘nice to meet you’ was cautious, like she’s not really sure she trusts Chloe. Which she shouldn’t. “You know, I told her yesterday, your girlfriend has such a childish looking face. I mean look at these cheeks.” Chloe’s perfect yet sinister hands reach out to pinch Shay’s cheeks and with that Kathy starts to piece things together; becoming more protective of Shay in the blink of an eye. She puts her hand on Shay’s knee and the look she gives Chloe forces her to take a small step away from them. “She doesn’t have a kid’s face and stop talking to her like she is one.” Kathy growls and hovers closer to Shay in this way that somehow reminds me of a wolf. Kathy’s the alpha protecting her omega and Chloe is the sinister wolf from another, more aggressive pack. “Jeez, I can tell which one of you is more butch. Chill out, ‘dude’ I was just trying to be friendly.” Chloe smirks and the other two girls scoot in closer, forming a half circle around the table; trapping them in like they’ve done to me so many times before. “Friendly is the last thing on your mind. Why don’t you just leave us alone?” Kathy huffs back in this warning voice that reminds me a lot of the one River uses. “Well of course I’m friendly, I even gave your chick here some beauty tips yesterday… Milk is great for the skin you know.” Chloe smiles this wicked smile that I still can’t believe comes from such a beautiful girl. “That was you?” Kathy stands upright in a flash, already looking like she’ll punch Chloe off her feet. “Baby, don’t.” Shay stands up right behind her and tugs on her arm gently. “What’s the matter, Butch? I was just giving the little Kiddy here a helping hand.” Chloe snickers again and for a brief second I wonder why she always feels the need to give her victims nicknames. But the second is quickly shattered when Kathy swings at Chloe and the crowd that’s formed erupts into noise. Shay tugs on Kathy’s arm again, but this time with enough force to pull Kathy away and make her miss the hit on Chloe’s nose that she would have otherwise perfectly had. “Kathy, stop it.” Shay’s voice changes from soft and shy to forceful in a matter of seconds. The rage in Kathy’s eyes softens instantly when she glances at Shay and realizing Shay doesn’t want her to get in trouble, she backs off. But before Kathy can even sit back down again, Chloe speaks up. “Damn, talk about pussy whipped.” Before I can process what happens, blurs of movement swirl all around me. But within seconds it’s all stopped, with one person. I realize River is no longer at my side, but instead standing between Chloe and Kathy; holding a hand to Kathy’s shoulder with just enough authority to still her movements. “Chloe, what are you doing? Haven’t you gotten in enough trouble for one month?” River grumbles tiredly, like Chloe is this troubled toddler she has to watch over. Now I know what she put up with when she ditched me. “I was just having a bit of fun, what do you care anyways? You already stood up for Freak yesterday, I think you’re starting to turn on me, Pettit.” Chloe crosses her arms and gives me a quick glare. “I’m making sure you don’t screw up your precious college future. Daddy can’t always cover your ass.” with that Chloe unfolds her arms and huffs in defeat. “You’re right. Picking on these carpet munchers is getting boring anyways.” She gives River one last look before turning back to the two henchmen she brought along with her. “Stacy, do you still have John’s number?” one of the girls jumps to attention and we quickly fall into the background again. “River, are you coming?” Chloe looks back at her after a few seconds, daring her to make the wrong move. River moves to lounge against the wall, glancing at me worriedly. “Nah.” She answers simply and again another evil idea seems to pop into Chloe’s head. “Fine, I deal with you later.” she smiles sinisterly before turning to leave. As soon as she’s gone, Shay pulls Kathy into the seat across from me; letting River sit back down at my side. “Thank you, River. We’re still working on getting Kathy out of settling things with her fist.” Shay smiles at River before giving Kathy a mild glare. River grunts in response and it gives Kathy the chance to launch into a rant “I’m tired of people treating you like shit, I told you I’m not rolling over anymore. No matter how much you want me to.” Shay sighs in defeat and leans her head against Kathy’s shoulder. “My knight in shining armor.” She jokes, poking the stubborn girl in the ribs. Kathy takes her hand and they sit in silence for a few minutes, studying River and I again like we’re test subjects. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” River grumbles, only a half joking tone in her voice. Shay chuckles, “Jesus, she’s like a carbon copy of you two years ago.” she nudges Kathy, who grunts in response before downing a small bag of chips. The rest of the lunch period goes by with surprising relaxation, In fact the whole rest of the school day seems to go by with me barely even seeing Chloe or her friends. I can only hope it’s the same for the others. Chapter 13, "Drifting In The Right Direction"   ☯River☯ The second Chloe walked away with that look on her face, I knew this whole thing wasn’t over. In fact I knew it was about to get a thousand times worse. As the week goes on she gets more hostile with me, throwing petty jabs at me every time she sees me with Ellie at lunch. Then she’ll find a way to “run into” me during my free block at the end of the day. Every time she does she always finds a way to push the right buttons, trying so hard to get to me. But I make sure not to crack, remembering my promise to Ellie each time Chloe comes near me. But when she comes up to me on friday like every day before, I instantly wish I hadn’t known her so well. That I had been wrong about her plans to make things worse. “What the fuck are you doing?” is her opening liner. “Right now? Knocking down blocks.” I mutter, nodding at the computer game on my screen. “You know what I’m talking about. Seriously, fill me in. Are you planning something big? Like, ruin the Freak and her gay friends kinda big?” My attention instantly pulls itself away from the game to stare at her. “What are you talking about, Chloe?” she huffs at me in irritation. “Don’t play dumb with me, you’ve been nice to her ever since we kicked her ass. Hun, she probably still has a creepy ass crush on you… Wait, are you trying to get to her and then dump her ass? Cause that’s conniving, even for you, River.” “I’m not like you. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe I’m trying to make amends. She doesn’t deserve what you’re doing to her, Chloe.” my emotions let me lose control for a second and the stream of anger slips past my lips. “Whatever, River. She messed with me, she almost fucked up my school record. And I know you well enough to know you aren’t trying to make amends. Since when do you have a soft side for freak shows like that? That’s not the River I knew.” Anger courses through me “Then clearly you didn’t know the real River.” I hiss at her and by her shocked reaction I instantly know I’ve made a bad move. “You are turning on me, I knew it. You’ll both pay for this.” she utters the last part in a low warning that sends a shiver down my spine before shoving the chair back into it’s place and walking out of the computer lab. Sighing, I get up and start walking to the library. I know I’m skating on thin ice now with what just happened, but at the moment I don’t really care. So what if she hates me now? What about Ellie? How am I going to keep Chloe off her even a little bit if she hates us both now? “Fuck…” I mutter under my breathe. “Yo, River. What’s up?” a voice comes up behind me as I sit in a bean bag chair near the library’s windows. Kathy strolls up to me and plops down into one of the other bean bags. “Hey.” I grumble, not really in the mood for being social right now. “Where’s your girl?” She asks casually as she readjusts herself. “She’s not my… She’s in Home Ec right now.” I sigh out. What’s the point of denying it with this girl anyways? Her voice snaps me out of my thoughts, “Oh, That sucks. Mine’s in some bullshit math class right now. Too bad we don’t get to spend our free periods with them, huh?” She readjusts herself in the seat again, this time to look right at me. “Yeah…” I find myself muttering, suddenly missing Ellie’s presence. “But maybe that’s for the best. Wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, right?” the look she gives me is so damn cocky, but for some reason I let it go. Because I know she’s right. “Now you sound like her.” I grumble, knowing very well the petty jab is something Ellie would probably say if she wasn’t so scared of everyone. Why does this girl have to be so ballsy? and why am I letting her get away with it? “Right… Well, I’ll shut up now. I understand the whole thing, I do. Shay’s right, sometimes I just like to give advice where it’s not needed.” “It’s fine, it’s not like I couldn’t use the advice anyways.” I mutter, instantly wondering why I let the comment slip. “Well in that case, I’ll shower you with advice then. I think you should go talk to her. Sort things out and all.” For a few minutes I think over her words, not really convinced that she knows what she’s talking about. She doesn’t know us, why is she so certain anyways? “Oh, come on. You can go right now, let’s go. I can probably pull Shay out of class too, I haven’t talked to her all day.” she tugs me out of the bean bag chair and drags me along as she talks. My natural instincts kick in and I yank away from her grasp. She stops in her tracks to look at me strangely. “You okay, River?” “Yeah… I just… I have a personal bubble, I don’t like people touching me.” I stare down at my feet like all the other times before. I’ve lost count of all the times I’ve told new friends to keep their distance. “Oh, I understand. My bad, bro.” “It’s fine.” “You sure? I’ve had a couple of friends like that before, I should know better by now. Feel free to slap me.” “It’s fine, just drop it.” I grumble and she gives me this sympathetic look before changing the subject. “Right, well come on. We better go, only 30 minutes left of the class.” “I think I’ll just chill here.” I mutter, not willing to get into whatever stupid plan she has in mind. I sit back down in the bean bag chair and she gives me that cocky look again, one hand on her hip. “Why would you just want to sit here when you could be talking things out with Ellie?” “There’s nothing to talk out.” “Bullshit, I know there has to be something you want to say to her.” She keeps up her determination and it starts to get the better of me; because I know she’s right. Weather I want to admit it or not. “Don’t you have a girlfriend to bother?” I grumble after a minute. “Yes and you have a girlfriend that you need to talk to.” When she uses that as a come back, I look around to make sure no one heard her. “Oh, sorry. I meant ‘friend’.” she gives me the look of knowing that she gave me the first day we met and in an instant it irritates me. But as quickly as it angers me, it also makes me realize the point she’s trying to get through my thick skull. I made a promise to Ellie that I would start fixing things. Pretending like she’s just a friend isn’t fixing anything… Kathy’s right, I need to talk to Ellie. “Alright, fine. Let’s go.” I grumble, slightly irritated that she could beat me down this easily. But at the same time, deep down, I’m glad that she did. Not that I’ll admit it.   ☀Ellie☀ This whole week has been confusing as hell and with everything Chloe’s done, I’m surprised we made it to Friday. But somehow Friday did come, despite all the bullshit. And now that I’ve made it to the last class of the last day of the week, I can finally enjoy making batches of cookies like we do every friday. After the last batch is made, I sit down in my own little corner to eat a few in silence. The girl on the other side of the island hands me a glass of milk and I take it gingerly before she goes back to talking to her friends. I fade back into the background again but I don’t expect much more than this, it’s what I’m use to. I’m use to no one talking to me and somehow I’ve gotten use to just being alone. But today I don’t end up completely alone. “Ellie’s needed in the office.” River’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I look up from my glass to find her talking to Mrs. Greer. When they both turn to look at me, I stand up cautiously and follow River out the door. Why did they send River to get me? I thought the only one who stayed in the office during fourth was this small boy with glasses. For a second I consider asking her about it, but on second thought I know it’s better not to question why River was in the office. After a few minutes she stops walking and turns to me. For once I think I see the small hint of a smile. “Hey, I wanted to tell you something.” “What is it?” I ask with a little too much enthusiasm, instantly curious about what she has to say. “I think I took care of our problem today.” her answer leaves me just as clueless as I was before and I stare back at her confused. “What do you mean?” “Well, it’s a long story. But to sum it up, I somehow got myself on Chloe’s bad side.” “But I thought that’s exactly what you didn’t want, what if she finds out about…?” for some stupid reason my brain so desperately wanted to use the word ‘us’ but after the first time River referred to it like that, I can’t manage to call what we have anything. Thankfully, River seems to catch on regardless and the cocky smile that River practically invented shows up. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t care if she finds out what happened, let her pry.” As soon as she says that I think I imagined the whole sentence. It’s not like River to suddenly change her mind once she already has a plan set in motion. So why is she suddenly changing everything around. Why is she standing here telling me that she’s not worried about Chloe anymore? “But… What happened to ‘I don’t want anyone to know’ and ‘she’ll crush us both if she finds out’? I thought you were pretending to be her friend so she wouldn’t hassle me. Wasn’t that you’re whole plan to protect me?” Her signature smirk suddenly changes to this look of guilt, like what I said had reminded her of some wrong doing. “I… I was wrong.” For at least a minute, all I can do is stare at her, unable to process what she just said. In all the years I’ve known her, I’ve barely ever heard her say that she was wrong about anything. “W-what?” is the only thing I manage to get out after a minute or so. “Don’t make me say it again, you know I hate saying that. It’s just that… I shouldn’t have been so scared about her finding out. It was wrong of me to make you feel like we had to keep it top secret. I’m sorry, okay?” she looks at me like she’s under persecution and that look in her eyes makes it hard not to fall for anything she has to say and all I can manage to do is hug her. She stands there awkwardly for a second before hugging back. “Just for the record, this doesn’t mean I’m going soft on you. I still have my dignity, you know.” she grumbles after a minute and it pulls a laugh out of me. “Right, right, you have a heart of ice. You never change.” I chuckle and pull away from the hug. “I change a little bit…” She mutters, taking my hands. I freeze up at the feel of her hands holding mine. I stare down at them for a moment, at a loss for words. When I look back up, she’s staring back at me with this expression I can’t read. What I would give to be able to read her mind. “What?” As soon as I ask she starts walking, keeping hold on one of my hands and tugging me along behind her. “Where are we going? … Hey, wait, I’m suppose to go to the office, aren’t I?” my questions go unanswered as she drags me into the girls bathroom and nearly pushes me into the last stall. “River, seriously. What are you doing...” she shuts the door behind her and before I can even think of anymore stupid questions to ask, a kiss cuts me off. I find myself suddenly pressed against the wall and all in an instant I realize what’s happening. This can’t be happening. Is she really going to try this right now, in the middle of class? Her kisses quickly move to my jawline and the answer to that question becomes clear. When she moves to nip at my neck, a moan almost slips out and I know I have to say something before she has the chance to make me crumble. “Um… C-can’t this wait? Until we’re not…  you know, not in school?” for a second she seems too busy sneaking her hands up my shirt to bother listening and I almost consider letting her get away with it until she stops. She moves back just enough to look at me, this storm brewing in those brown eyes. “No… I can’t wait, I need you now.” the sentence is enough to make anyone crumble down on their knees and I quickly forget all about stopping anything that’s to come. She moves to unbutton my jeans and not knowing what else to do, I lean in to kiss her. She kisses back eagerly and before I know it, my pants are undone and her hand is inside of my underwear. I gasp at the contact, another moan trying to slip by. “Shh, wouldn’t want to draw any attention in here, would we?” the cockiness in her voice would make me want to snap back at her any other time, but right now I can’t be bothered with it. I end up biting my lip when her middle finger slips inside me. I move to kiss her neck in an effort to distract myself from the pleasure that’s already starting to build up. Her ring finger moves to join the middle one and in reaction my back arches off the wall, pressing my body into hers. Her left hand moves from my hip to the arch of my back to keep me steady before she catches me off guard by slipping the third and final finger inside of me. Another gasp leaves my lips and in an effort to muffle the moans, I end up biting her shoulder. She groans and even in the heat of a moment like this, my instincts react and a “Sorry.” slips out. “Don’t worry about it, it kinda felt good.” she mutters in this husky voice and before I have the chance to react to it, she forces another moan out of me. After that everything seems to unravel before me and before I know it I’m spiraling down into the familiar pleasure she always finds a way to drag out of me. The climax hits me without warning and I end up biting into her shoulder again to make sure the moans don’t become too audible. She groans and when the haze of the orgasm wears of I instantly feel bad for probably biting down too hard. She pulls her hand out of my pants and I move back to leaning against the wall again. She stares down at her fingers for a second before curiosity gets to her and she moves to lick the wetness off of one of her fingers. “Don’t do that.” I grumble, worrying that anything that came from down there doesn’t taste good. “Why not? I like it, next time I might have to try going down on you. I saw that in a porno once, you know.” she chuckles and I nudge her playfully. “You’re not a porn star and I draw the line at that.” That cocky smirk appears again and for a second it amazes me how easily we can fall back into our old selves after something like this. “Yeah, well I’ll work on that later. You should get back to class before the cookies burn.” she jokes and moves to kiss my cheek. I fix my jeans and pull my shirt back down before following her cautiously out of the stall. Somehow we got lucky and no one is around to bust us when we step out of the bathroom. Chapter 14, "Lovers and Enemies"   ☯River☯ Nearly right after we leave the bathroom and Ellie starts to walk back to class, I run right into someone. “Jeez, eyes on the road, River.” I turn my attention away from Ellie to find Kathy staring back at me quizzically. Much to my dismay, she notices Ellie just as the girl disappears into her classroom and it doesn’t take long for Kathy to make her own assumption. “I see your talk with Ellie went well.” She grins from ear to ear. “Whatever, Kathy.” I grumble and she laughs. “Alright, alright. Just make sure you don’t get caught, you’ll get in big trouble for quickies like that. Trust me, I know from past experience.” She grins again and my natural instincts to deny kick in instantly. “It wasn’t…” but a lie doesn’t come to me fast enough and my denial is quickly shot down. She smirks, waiting for an explanation she knows won’t come. I let out a sigh, giving up on the sentence that I would have never finished. “It’s hopeless with you.” “Only because you like me.” She smirks and her cockiness reminds me a lot of how I act at times. Maybe we have more things in common than I thought. “You’re alright.” I mutter and she seems satisfied with that answer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ For a saturday, the day seems to drag by at an agonizing, boring pace. I barely make it a few hours after I wake up before I find myself calling Ellie. A series of grumbles and the sound of the phone being dropped emit from the other side of the line before finally she answers“… h-hello?” her still half asleep voice rings out. “Sorry, I tend to forget I’m the early bird.” I chuckle softly, realizing she usually sleeps till noon on saturdays. Her voice seems to wake up a bit when I speak. “It’s okay, I was going to get up in a bit anyways.” She lies. Instantly I start to feel bad for calling, I should have let the poor girl sleep a little. My unintentional silence seems to quickly get to her. “So what did you need?” Now that the question comes up, I can’t seem to think of why I actually did call. “I, uh, I dunno.” “Oh… Well text me if you remember. I’m gonna go get breakfast.” For some reason the thought of her hanging up sends me into a panic and a “Wait!” slips out before I know what to do. “Oh.. Okay.” She mutters, startled by something so sudden this early in her morning. “Are you doing anything today?” I don’t know why I would even think to ask but it’s too late now. “Uh, not much of anything. Why?”   ☀Ellie☀ After River hangs up I nearly fall out of the bed in a rush of excitement. I grab an outfit and rush downstairs to the bathroom to get ready. This is the first time River’s wanted to hang out over the weekend like this since the last summer I saw her. I hope this goes better than it did the last time. If only thoughts like that would stop pestering me, maybe I could actually get somewhere. Time catches me off guard and before I know it, a knock on the front door makes me jump away from the mirror. I frown at my reflection, briefly getting that ‘I wish I had someone else’s body’ feeling. “El? Are you ready? I’m starving.” I hear River let herself in, this nervousness in her voice. Like she might find me with a knife again. “Yeah, yeah. You eat like a horse, you can wait.” I call down and her tone seems to relax. “Whatever, just hurry up.” I glance one last time at my reflection before turning to walk down the steps with a sigh. She greets me at the bottom step with her signature scowl on her face. “Food is life, the longer you take the more you drain me of li…” Her snide remark suddenly cuts short when she looks up from the time on her phone and her eyes lock onto mine. She gives me this look I can’t read before looking me up and down. I shift my weight uncomfortably. Do I look that bad? I spent all that time getting ready for nothing. “Why are you looking at me like that?” I break the silence to stop her staring and at the sound of my voice she snaps out of her thoughts. “Um, forget it. Let’s just go. I need food, pronto.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The quick trip to our favorite restaurant, The Latch, was an outing that went nothing like I was expecting. The hipsterish, teen-infested restaurant has been around since our parents were our age. But it’s only been this “newage” place since it’s new owners took over, not long after River’s family moved into town. Ever since, its been out hang out. But just because it’s such a familiar place, doesn’t mean I expected River to change the rules of our “second home” around all in one day. After I was done eating, I went to the bathroom to wash off the wing sauce that was starting to burn into a paper cut on my finger. I wasn’t expecting River to storm in and nearly push me into one of the stalls like she did at school just barely a day before. And just like in the dark spaces of the school’s stalls, she altered the rules of the place. The restaurant is no longer an innocent location where we have memories of our childhood. Now it’s just another place where she brought sex into the mix. Like the school; Like my house. Everything I know is slowly being corrupted, but yet, somehow I don’t mind. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I walk out of the bathroom like I’m drifting on clouds. “Your afterglow is showing.” that cocky voice snickers in my ear and somehow it makes me break out into a smile. “Shut up.” I mumble and she responds with a laugh and a kiss on the cheek that I didn’t expect in a restaurant full of people. I soak up the attention gladly until her hands fall from my waist just before this dreaded voice rings out. “River?” Chloe strolls up to us with this confused look on her face, like she’s hoping she’s just seeing someone that looks a lot like River. When the realization sinks in a glare gets thrown my way. “What the hell are you doing hanging out with her? We were supposed to go to the movies tonight, we kept calling you. What could you possibly be doing with that freak?” “She was my friend way before you were, Chloe. There’s a lot I could be doing with her right now, which you’re ruining with your attitude by the way.” She backs away from me a bit and clearly she’s still playing that ‘just friends’ act. But yet, somehow the tone in her voice proves River’s still the “tough” one and she knows how to stand her ground; even if she’s not completely confident. Chloe looks me over for a minute, confusion still written on her nearly flawless features. “Look, I know we got pissed at each other yesterday but do you seriously want to risk hanging around her?” “We already went over this, Chloe…” River starts but Chloe cuts her off with that growling tone that always made me fear her. So naturally I shrink back behind River as she starts to speak,“No, we didn’t. You use to be with me and now you’re going back to the freak side and you won’t even give me an explanation.” “Deciding not to be a bullying brat anymore should be an explanation enough.” River snaps back. Chloe doesn’t take being called a bully well, even if she is one. “Fine,” she hisses and there’s such a hidden threat behind just the one simple word, “We’re not done here, I’m not going to let you off the hook this easy.” is her final warning before she turns back to her minions and orders them to follow along behind her as she storms out of the restaurant. River waits for them to disappear completely before grabbing my hand and tugging me out of the restaurant. “Come on, El. She clearly ruined the fun here, let’s go back to your place.” I can’t manage to make much of a protest when she’s holding my hand the whole way there and I can’t really manage to bring up what happened at The Latch when she’s going on about pointless things just to keep me busy. So I let it all slide, like I always do. Sometimes I wish I had a back bone. When we get back to my house, Mom’s already left for work. She left behind this movie on the kitchen counter with a little note that said she thought it was good and that we should watch it before she returns it. I put what looks like a horror movie on the flat screen in our living room but not long into the movie River and I find out it’s one of those scary movies that are more funny than horrifying. Naturally, River loses interest quickly; finding more interest in kissing me until I’m nearly dizzy. Much like she always does, she moves too fast for me to process how I got underneath her on the couch. Before I know it, she’s kissing and nibbling at my neck; instantly I recognize that feeling in the pit of my stomach. “D-didn’t you just do this at the restaurant?” I find myself asking, for some reason there’s a small protest in me even though I usually wouldn’t complain. She chuckles a bit, her nervous breath fanning out on my neck. She moves off of me and we settle back into our separate sides. “Right, sorry. I guess I should be giving you a bit more space, I could win the award for worst girlfriend of the year at this rate.” She mutters the little joke as she moves back to her side of the couch but I’m too busy focused on that one subtle word to notice anything else she says. “Girlfriend?” She smooths out her shirt before looking up at me with this nervous smile that doesn’t fit her personality at all. “Well… If you could even call someone as bad at this as I am a girlfriend then yeah, I guess that’s what you would call me… Right?” First she doesn’t even answer me when I ask her what we are and now such a short time later she’s labeling herself my girlfriend. She’s trying to screw with my mind, I swear it’s like all she does is play mind games with me. Like a game of cat and mouse. “I thought we weren’t dating?” I peel back the layers of the subject carefully, making sure to start out with a small question; used in a quiet voice. As if the cat would catch the mouse if it said something wrong. She laughs this zealous laugh that makes her seem even more like the cat in this game. “We just got back from a date at our favourite restaurant, not to mention what happened in the bathroom,” just the small comment sends a blaze of red into my cheeks and she makes note of it with a sly smile before continuing. “I’m pretty sure that makes us dating, Ellie.” “That was a date? I thought you were just hungry.” I purposely choose talking about the first part of her argument to avoid bringing up something that would only bring out a brighter color of red in my cheeks. “Well, yeah. But it still counts as a date in my book. I mean that is the only successful date I’ve ever been on.” for her it’s a joke, verging on an insult at herself. But for some reason I only see it as some kind of achievement. After a minute of thought I go back to cautiously trying to peel back the layers from the walking onion I’ve come to know as River. “But I thought you didn’t want us to be ‘dating’.” the confusion whirling around inside of me makes its way out in the form of an almost angry tone. “Why would you think that?” The innocently curious look in her eyes makes the storm of emotions in me fizz out a bit. “I… I don’t know. I just thought because you didn’t want to talk about it and at school…” she cuts me off with a small wave of her hand. “Oh, that. I was just worried about my past and you know, those punks at school. But we’ve kinda resolved all of that so I’m not really worried about admitting we’re together anymore… Unless, of course you have objections.” she gives me that ‘it’s your turn to speak’ look that I’ve gotten from so many people over the years and just like each time before I sputter out my reply in a haste of panic. “N-no… I mean, not ‘no I don’t want to be with you’ kinda no; But like, ‘no, no objections’ kinda no…” I ramble for a few seconds before giving up altogether and staring down at my hands, feeling guilty for being so bad with words. I glance up at her after a second to gauge how bad I messed up and to my surprise I find her smiling. “You’re such a goof.” she states and it pulls a relieved laugh out of me. “Now, if we’re done here, I’m already hungry again and I think I’m gonna rummage through your kitchen and see if you have anything to go with this awful movie.” she starts to get up but before she can walk away I pull her back down to the couch, she’s not getting out of this conversation that easy. “I sense you need something?” She questions as she settles back into the surface of the couch. Not knowing what to say or what else to do, I kiss her on the cheek. “What was that for?” she chuckles and somehow just being in this good of a mood with her makes up for the past few weeks. “For being my girlfriend?” I offer and somehow it causes the both of us to burst into laughter. “Have I mentioned you’re a goof yet?” the comment leads to another few minutes of giggling and joking until somehow we’ve ended up laughing through the whole movie and two more after that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The hours go by with such ease that the day not only reminds me of all the past summers we spent together but it somehow seems better than all the days before. As if now we have something new forming where everything older began. “We should go out.” the statement catches me off guard and I look away from the start of another awful movie to look at her curiously. “Go where?” “I don’t know just go out, you know, like a date.” “A date?” I giggle at the idea, “What for? Didn’t we already go on one of those today?” “Yeah, but you didn’t even know it was a date. It technically doesn’t count. Official dating rules and what not.” she tries to impersonate this pompous british accent that she always did when we were younger. It always had a way of making me laugh. “Alright, O wise one. Where do you suggest we go?” “It’s a Saturday night, there’s plenty of places to go. Come on.” She pulls me to my feet and starts bouncing up the stairs with excitement. “Where are you going?” I follow after her and she leaves the question unanswered in the air. Until I get to my room and find her throwing clothes out of my closet. “We need something to wear. Here try this.” She tosses a tank top at me and I fiddle with the material in my hands for a minute. “We’re not going to a club or something, are we? You know I don’t like all that noise and people everywhere.” I grumble at her, remembering the one and only time she took me to a party and I threw up in some guy’s lap. I wasn't even drunk. “Relax, we’re just going to see what kinda fun we can get into. You can trust me, right?” She peeks around the closet door to look at me expectantly. “Yeah, I guess.” I sigh out, knowing I could never really argue with her anyway. “Good... I guess” she mocks me mildly before turning back to the closet to loudly pull out a suitcase from the back that I haven’t touched in ages. The suitcase is full with a secret stash of clothes we stole from River’s sister over the years. It’s something we’d been doing for a while now, taking little things here and there until the case was nearly overflowing with the most expensive designer clothes I’ve ever touched. “Here, this’ll look perfect on you.” she tosses me this purple flowery shirt and then a lacey, black over shirt a second later. I change into the clothes with my back turned to her and just like typical River would, she walks over to me and pokes me in the ribs. “You know you’re not hiding anything I haven’t already seen.” The cockiness in her voice somehow brings back the old casualness we had with eachother and after I put on the shirt I elbow her with enough force to send her stumbling back with a startled groan. The playfulness goes on until she finds a pair of holy jeans for me to where and an outfit for herself. She decided to go with some white band shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans, a look that isn’t much different from her usual attire. After we change she drags me down the stairs and out the door to look for what I can only guess will be trouble. Chapter 15, "Demons and Neon Lights" After dragging me out of the house, River's plan starts to faulter from there and not knowing what else to do we end up walking around the main hot spot in town. Every other normal girl our age would usually go here every Saturday to meet up with friends and drink until they pass out. But unlike the majority of people our age, I find this part of town completly foreign. I find myself walking by countless nightclubs and I realize quickly I’m exactly where mom doesn’t like me at. That part of town where normal, actually social people hang out. The normal place. River stops to lean against the building we’re currently walking by. “So, we’ve been walking around for ten minutes now. Where do you think we should go?” I stare at her confused, “How would I know? This wasn’t my idea.” I cross my arms and try to match her posture. She snickers, “I just thought I’d let you pick. I’m sure you have a good taste in clubs.” She mocks and I almost move to hit her arm. But someone’s familiar voice stops me, “Ellie!” I turn to find Kathy and Shay walking towards us, hand in hand. I’d stop to envy how carelessly they show their affection, but Kathy startles me with a hug that sucks the air right out of my lungs. “H-hi… Kath…” I struggle to get a greeting out and thankfully Shay comes to my rescue. “Babe, you’re killing our friend.” with that Kathy releases the death grip and Shay replaces it with her own, more gentle hug. The way she hugs is so soft and feather light it’s like hugging a cloud compared to Kathy’s Boa constrictor hug. Kathy moves to give River a quick fist bump before asking, “So what are you guys doing here? I didn’t really take Ellie for the party type.” she looks me over for a minute and the small glance I get from Shay tells me she’s not much of a partier either. “She’s not, but we’re working on her social skills. Right, miss hermit?” River pokes my side jokingly and I swat at her hand, a small huff of annoyance leaving me. “Understandable, her and Shay must be in the same ball field. You two are just in luck, we’re heading to this awesome place right now, come on, you should join us.” Kathy starts walking backwards, giving us this hopeful look that we’ll follow along. I look to River as if I need her permission or something. “Come on, it’s the perfect place to learn how to use your social skills.” Kathy coaxes and River nudges me in her direction. Reluctantly, I follow along with their party plans. Kathy and Shay lead us to this neon lit club with the words ‘Neon Love’ hanging over the entrance in bright red and pink. When we walk in, the front half of the building seems to be a cafe by day. But Kathy leads us to the back, where this huge bald man stands guard at the back door. “Is your name on the list?” he grumbles like he’s tired of having to say the same words all night. “Nah, dude. You must be the new guy. I know the owner, I’m her little sister.” Kathy gives him this over confident look, like she should already be inside. “If I had a dime for every time someone said they were with the owner…” The guard starts. “Seriously, bro. I do know her. Wait, that’s her. Here, I’ll get her to back me up.” She strains to look over the tall man’s shoulder to see past the doorway. “Lee!” she shouts at someone and even the guard jumps at her sudden high volume. “Miss, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” “No, wait a minute, I can get her over” She tries again to yell past the guard at whoever’s inside “Lianna!” “Miss, I’m not gonna ask you again. You and your friends need to leave.” “Relax, new boy. She’s cool.” this dainty, european voice emits from the other side of the door and a brunette in her mid 20s pushes the guard out of the way. Grumbling something, the guard lets us through the red rope and not paying us much mind, the woman leads us over to a table where the noise of the music isn’t as loud. “What’s up, kiddo?” the woman moves to ruffle Kathy’s hair before turning to nudge Shay. “I see you brought the ball n chain. How’s it going, Mousy?” Shay makes a quiet reply that I don’t really catch before the woman notices River and I. “You brought friends?” River was in the middle of trying to walk over to the bar when Lee directs her attention to her and River gives a small, disappointed nod in her direction. “Yeah, this is River. At least say hi to the owner before you vanish on me, dude.” Kathy pulls River back to us and River sticks her hand out. She shakes River's hand with just as much enthusiasm as her sister did the first day we met her. “Lianna Stern, but you can call me Lee. Pleasure to meet you.” River tries to seem as equally enthusiastic before Kathy pushes her sister in my direction. “And this is her absolutely adorable girlfriend, Ellie.” the whole sentence stuns my response system. For one, I’m not use to being called adorable unless it’s by my mother; and two, I’m still getting use to being called River’s girlfriend. Which I’m glad to find out that I’m not the only one when I glance over at River and find her shifting her weight and scratching the back of her head nervously. “Nice to meet you, Ellie. I have to say, you two look more like straight best friends… Jesus, my gaydar is getting worse. Anyways, who’s up for a drink?” For once River and I get to avoid that situation when Lee calls over a guy with spiky hair before any of us can even react to her statement. She orders us drinks and he scurrys off as quickly as he appeared. “I’m assuming none of you are the prissy no drinks type?” Lee asks as we all settle into these leather couches, hiding us in the corner of the club. Knowing River and I are still one year below the legal drinking age, my natural habit to be the good one kicks in and I start to speak up. “Um, we’re not actually old enough…” my sentence cuts short when River nudges me as she takes the seat beside me. “She’s giving us free drinks, hush.” She whispers but Lee’s already heard enough of my sentence to catch her attention. “Well, how old are you?” “17, it’s not that big a deal, right?” River interjects before I can ruin her chances at a free drink. “Oh, come on. It’s only one year younger than us. We’re still in the same grade even. Don’t worry about it.” Kathy smiles, handing River this pink drink with a little umbrella. River takes the drink with enthusiasm and tries to pass one to me. I look down at the drink in her hand worriedly. “Relax, El. It doesn’t even have that much alcohol in it. Your good girl reputation will stay in place, trust me.” Reluctantly, I take the drink and stare down at it for a few minutes as everyone else talks. River notices soon enough and stops talking to everyone else, fading into the background so she can lean in closer to talk to me. “Honey, you don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to. I just didn’t want you to feel left out. If it’s really that big of a deal to you, I’ll drink it for you.” she reaches for the drink but I pull it away, suddenly not wanting to look like a pussy infront of everyone. “I can drink it.” I grumble. “Are you sure? I remember the last time you had alcohol.” much to my dismay, I too remember the time she snuck one of her dad’s six packs over and I was plastered before I finished one beer. “It’s fine, I was 14 when that happened. I can handle it.” I try to sound determined. She chuckles softly, moving to kiss me on the cheek. “Goof.” is the only thing she says. Despite my tough act, I know I have a low tolerance for alcohol. But I’d never admit that, especially when it puts me at risk of looking like a total loser around River. I take a timid sip of the drink, looking around at the rest of the group to make sure no one notices how pathetic I look right now. After a minute I realize I’ve gone unnoticed and I move to stare down at the drink in my hand, fiddling with the umbrella. “How’s that drink going?” River nudges me playfully, looking clearly convinced that I won’t take another sip. “I can finish it.” I grumble back, taking a bigger sip than before just to prove my point. I glance around at the group again, already everyone else has settled into this comfortable ease, like they’re right at home. Which I imagine they are by now, being as Lee is the owner of the place. Kathy gets up to get another drink before quickly settling back into her spot on the couch by the wall. She squeezes into the seat between Lee and Shay. Lee goes right back to talking and Shay automatically moves back under Kathy’s arm like a trained dog. I chuckle a bit at it as Kathy starts up this hushed conversation with her sister. Suddenly I feel my drink float out of my grasp and I look over to find River pulling the drink out of my hand. “Hey!” I try to act like I’m upset that she took the dreaded glass away from me. “I’m thirsty and you’re just going to let it go to waste anyways.” She smirks that damned smirk at me and a bolt of irritation surges through me. I’m not letting her think I’m a baby that easily, I at least have to put up some sort of a fight. “I will not, give it back.” “Why should I, Princess?” The mocking tone in her voice is too much to bear; even if I usually am a pushover any other time, she’s not getting the best of me now. “Because it’s my drink, now give it back.” my attempt at intimidating her only serves to make her laugh. “If you say so, Princess.” she hands the glass back over but somehow her mockery makes me feel less accomplished about the act. Lee jumps to her feet and breaks the tensions of the little argument between us “Let’s go, what’s the point of clubbing if we’re just sitting here?” after a minute everyone follows her out to the mass of people dancing like their lives depend on it. For the most part I stand off to the side of the fun, only really joining in on the crowded close contact when River or someone else pulls me back in. It’s like being that one small fish that wants to get out of the giant, sweaty school of fish but her friends just keep pulling her back in. At some point, the party music stops and little by little it’s replaced with more and more slow songs. Meaning the sweaty school of fish gradually breaks up into smaller, less annoying groups of fish and the groups of twos in the center of the dance floor. A certain song in particular comes on and Kathy and Shay join the twos groups to dance to ‘their song’. River joins me in the awkward corner away from the dance floor. “You’re not having fun are you?” she asks after a minute. “No, I am. I like hanging out with you and those two dweebs over there.” I nod in the direction of the dance floor, where Kathy and Shay are trying to waltz when they’re not giggling up a storm or tripping over the other dancers. Every other couple on the dance floor is glaring at them and yet they don't seem to care. “They’re a perfect couple.” River laughs and I find myself laughing too because it couldn’t be a more true statement. Another minute of silence passes before she decides to speak up again. “I know you don’t like crowds and honestly I don’t blame you. We can go back to your place if you want.” she looks me over quickly, looking like she’s almost praying to go home at this point. And it wouldn’t take me many guesses to figure out why. As tempting as the idea is, we should at least try to enjoy this club, for the sake of our friends. “Nah, we can stay a bit longer. Right?” she looks surprised when I say that but she doesn’t seem to have any objections. “Right, well if I’m staying any longer I’m going to need another drink. I’ll be right back.” She kisses me on the cheek again before disappearing into the crowd of people now huddling at the bar. I look around nervously as soon as she leaves, disappointed that I don’t have any friends around me. It almost feels like I’m worried someone like Chloe will show up and hassle me as soon as I’m left alone for more than a minute. But now that I actually get to look around, I’m surprised by the people I see here. Some of these people I’ve even seen around school, they usually look as shut in and as miserable as I am at school. But here, they look so happy. So themselves. The first person I recognize is this irish boy in my yearbook class. He’s dancing with this short korean girl. I’ve seen them sitting together at lunch but for some reason no one at school really knows they’re dating. It probably has something to do with one of their parents and at the realization a hint of sympathy surfaces. Somehow I know how they feel. Actually, as I look around at the other couples, I can understand a lot more about these people than I thought I would. They’re all outcasts. People that someone along the line had deemed not normal. Beside the first couple I saw, there’s this terrifying looking man with tattoos all over his body and a burly black beard. He’s dancing with a blonde, curly haired woman with glasses. For someone who looks so terrifying, even from here I can hear the sweetness in his voice when he talks to her. He’s probably been judged for god knows how long because he looks like a hit man, but honestly the tone in his voice makes him sound like he couldn’t hurt a fly. It makes me think for a minute, that on the outside he could look so rough and people could judge him for it; but on the inside he could be an angel for all they knew. And of course he’s not the only one. Beside him, there’s a redheaded woman in her early 40s dancing with a man who only looks about 25. Not too far away from them there’s this muslim girl (who’s face I can just barely see through the cloth) dancing with this geeky boy with a cross around his neck. A few feet away from them is another biker looking man dancing with an equally biker looking girl. Then of course there’s Kathy and Shay. “The school dykes” as Chloe would call them. But I don’t see why they have to be picked on so much for a difference that shouldn’t really matter to other people. Of course people would argue that I wouldn’t understand because I’m not straight either, but that really has nothing to do with why people have to be so cruel to them. And of course they’re not alone. On one side of them there’s an elderly man dancing with another man and on the other side of them there’s two people who if I’m being completely honest I can’t even tell what gender they are. All throughout the club there’s gays, transgender, intersex, and any other label you can think of. Suddenly I recognize a face I swear I’ve seen before and I have to do a double take to find the guy again; just to make sure it’s who I think it is. But sure enough, it’s one of Ryan’s friends. Another football player. Dancing with that small, geeky boy that sits in the office during fourth block. The auburn haired jock outmatches the boy in height and strength, but yet the jock is looking down at him like he’s the most amazing thing in the world. “Pretty cool, huh?” Lee’s voice startles me out of my thoughts and I nearly jump out of my skin. “Whoa, sorry. I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” I try to catch my breath, managing some kind of reply and I don’t even know what it is that I said. But it seems to be good enough for Lee and she goes back to talking, “Anyways, I saw you watching the dancers. It’s pretty amazing what this place turned into, isn’t it? I got the idea from my lil sis of course, I made a vow to myself that I would make a safe place where people like her could come. A place where everyone could feel happy. Feel normal.” Her statement sends a shiver down my spine and I can only manage a nod in response. She chuckles, “Quite, aren’t you? You must be related to Mousy over there.” She nods in Shay’s direction, watching Shay dance with Kathy. Say something, you goob. “N-no, I just met her not that long ago. She’s nice though, I like her.” that last sentence comes out of no where and I’m not sure why I said it but it was sincere none the less. “Me too, she’s a sweety. She’s been Kathy’s best friend since day care.” In the middle of their twirling and giggling, they manage to bump into yet another couple. The guy growls something rude at them and Lee seems as amused by it as her sister. She chuckles softly, watching the two of them twirl around. “God, what a pair of goofballs they are. You know, as much trouble as I give them, I'm glad they're happy. They've been through a lot. As long as I can remember, someone was always picking on Shay... Kathy always had her back though, nothing could ever touch those two. Kathy would always kick ass and Shay would always hold her back when she got in too deep…” I watch every little step of their lives play over and over in Lee’s eyes like a movie on rewind. She seems utterly lost in memory for a minute as she watches them like she’s Kathy’s protective mother. Shay buries her nose in Kathy’s shirt, looking like the happiest girl in the world. Lee chuckles again, “Funny thing is, Kathy always cared for that girl. She practically worships the ground Shay walks on. It goes both ways though. They’re a match made in heaven, those two.” it seems like she’s talking more to herself than to me but a part of me still feels honored to get to know such an intimate part of their lives. “Wouldn’t it be nice if we all got the romantic movie ending like those two dweebs did?” she finally comes back out of her world and peels her eyes away from them to look at me. “Yeah…” “And they know exactly how lucky they are, always flaunting around they’re happy love crap around my single ass. Jeez, I feel like I need another drink.” She says it in this joking tone but I know there’s some small part of her that does envy them. And I know how she feels, I spent years of my life envying the couples that walked around in school; just wishing to have the same thing. What about now? Has all that changed? River walks up with a drink in her hand and Lee snatches it right out of her fingers as she walks over to us. “Ask and you shall receive, thanks for the drink, River.” she hands River the money she probably spent on that drink for herself before the older blonde walks over to Johnny. “God, what is it with that family?” River huffs, watching the trouble making club owner walk over to Johnny to reprimand him on his bartending skills. Another fast paced song starts blaring through the club and Kathy rushes over to us. Shay walks up to stand beside me, shaking her head “She’s been sneaking drinks the whole night, wait until Lee gets her hands on her. She’s not suppose to be drinking this much.” Kathy stumbles around River and begs her to go dance with them. River pulls herself free from her and Kathy loses her balance a bit. “Hell no, I can’t handle any more of the trouble sisters. I’m getting another drink.” River grumbles, leaving a saddened Kathy to cling to me instead. “Well, her loss then. Come on, Ellie. I know you’ll dance with us.” Kathy tugs on my arm like a toddler. “I’ve already told you, I can’t dance.” “Pssh please, like I can? Who cares? You’re suppose to be having fun.” she tries to coax me out of my corner but I stay glued to the wall. “I’m having fun right here.” I grumble and she laughs this cheery, clearly half drunken laugh. “Come onnnn…” She whines and not wanting to ruin her fun, I reluctantly move away from my corner to join her on the dance floor. But her drunken fun only lasts for a few minutes. “Katherine May Stern!” Lee’s voice emerges from the crowd and because I hear her before I see her, I jump a bit at the sound of her angry tone. Kathy’s eyes widen like a scared puppy and she turns to find her sister pushing through the crowd to tower over her. “Come on, just because I own the joint doesn’t mean you can get wasted on my expense.” She clamps onto Kathy’s arm and drags her back over to the corner in the back. Cautiously Shay and I tag along, sitting on the couch across from the sisters. “You’re going to have a hell of a headache, here take this. I swear you never listen to me.” The eldest sister rants on as she opens a bottle from her purse and hands Kathy a pill and a glass of water. “That should sober you up in a few minutes, I hope your hangover teaches you a damn lesson. Shay, I need to get back to the bar. When she’s sober, take her home.” Lee moves to stand and starts to walk away throwing “Actually watch her this time, please.” over her shoulder as she leaves. By the time River comes back from wherever she disappeared to, the medicine has done it’s job to sober up Kathy. “God, my head. I wanna go home.” she groans, struggling to stand at first. “What did I miss?” River interjects curiously as we follow her out. Shay gives her a quick explanation as she catches up to Kathy and steadies the girl with her arm. “Jeez, I leave to go to the bathroom for five minutes.” River grumbles, moving to take my hand as we walk past the guard and the red rope. For a second her hand startles me before I realize that we’re supposed to be use to holding hands by now. We stand outside the main entrance for a few minutes as Kathy leans against the wall to steady herself. “Can someone get a taxi or something? I think I’m gonna hurl.” She grumbles, bending over as if she might actually throw up. Shay moves barely a foot away from her to try to call a taxi and River moves to take her place against the wall. With my hand linked to hers, I follow along and stand by her. I glance around to take in my surroundings as we wait. It doesn’t take me long to recognize this familiar blonde and her friends walking up to us. Despite me knowing who it is in an instant, I spot them too late to warn the others. “Well it looks like our night just got more entertaining.” “Oh for fucks sake.” Kathy is the first of us to make a verbal acknowledgement before bending over again and coughing a few times. Chloe takes us in for a moment, trying to process everything in order to make her attack. “Wait… Are you hanging out with the Freak and the gay queens? At fucking gay central of all places?” River flenches a bit, her hand tightening around mine in this way that makes me feel comforted and worried at the same time. “What does it matter to you Chloe? Don’t you have your minions to torment?” at that Chloe growls in irritation and moves closer; trying to keep her composure before continuing. “You’re still keeping up this act? Seriously, just stop hanging out with these losers and come with us.” “That’s enough, Chloe. Just leave.” The authority in River’s voice challenges Chloe a little too much and she moves to push on her shoulders. But she stops when she glances down and notices our hands. Her arms fall down to her sides again and she stares at us in confusion for a minute. When she looks back up into River’s eyes, I swear for the briefest of seconds, I can see hurt in her nearly perfect blue eyes. “You can’t be serious, River.” River doesn’t offer a reply, she just tightens her grip on my hand and the gesture catches me off guard. I glance over at her to see that determined look on her face that she always has when she’s fully convinced in going through with something. She’s actually going through with this. The startled and confused thought rings out before Chloe starts to speak again. “What the hell happened to you? You could have had anyone you wanted and you picked her? She’s a freak, River.” Before River can reply, Kathy interjects with a hoarse, tired voice. “Ellie’s anything but a freak, insult my friends one more time and I swear I will fight through my hangover to kick your ass.” the statement catches me off guard but it’s not just the statement itself. She moves away from the wall to stand strongly by River’s side and just this once, Shay doesn’t stop her from starting a fight. They’re all protecting me. But Chloe doesn’t seem to care, her death glare is locked and focused solely on me. “Savannah.” with just that small mention of her name, one of the girls behind Chloe shifts forward; already knowing the plan like she can read Chloe’s mind. All in the blink of an eye, I’m separated from the group, pulled free from River’s grasp by the softball player named Savannah. I get practically thrown to Chloe and before I know it she’s beating me up again. Savannah and the other girl in Chloe’s posse manage to hold River and Kathy off long enough to allow Chloe to beat me to the ground and climb on top of me. She pins me to the dirty concrete and before I even know I’m on the ground, her hands are around my throat. She manages to lift my head and slam it back down on the concrete what feels like a few dozen times before someone comes to my rescue. “Let go of her!” much to my surprise, my rescuer has Shay’s soft voice. Somehow she manages to sound sweet even when she’s angry and I wonder if she even has a mean bone in her body that’s strong enough to protect her from Chloe. But somehow she manages to pull the enraged girl off of me and I’m left staring up at the night sky, my head aching much like it did the first time this happened. Only a thousand times worse. A heavy thud hits the wall of the club and I try to push through the pain to see what’s going on. I find that thud to have been Savannah, pushed against the wall, one punch from Kathy sends the girl to the ground. She claws the other girl off of River and in an attempt to help I try to stand. But I can barely even sit up and the action causes the world to spin for what feels like an eternity. I scramble around until I find myself leaning against something, a bench or a lighting post; whatever it may be I can’t really tell at the moment. When I lean against it though, the world stops moving and I look around to find River again. When Kathy pulls the girl off of her, all in a quick movement, the girl’s face hits the wall. Knowing that they’ll be okay, I try to search through the blurs to find Shay and Chloe. As I guessed, Shay didn’t have a chance against Chloe and already she’s starting to suffer the same fate that I had moments before. But this time, Chloe won’t get away with it. She only manages to hit Shay’s head on the sidewalk once. Shay lets out this panicked cry and within seconds Kathy is pulling Chloe to her feet. Something snapped in Kathy’s eyes, they don’t hold the kind sparkle they did just minutes before Chloe showed up. All I see now is pure rage and Kathy’s eyes are hazed over with it. She manages to free Shay from Chloe’s grasp, lifting the girl up and away from her victim. Chloe’s feet actually leave the ground before her whole body comes crashing back down to earth and now Kathy has the upper hand. River gets to her feet and tries to pull Kathy away but the girl pushes her back and keeps attacking Chloe as if she’s possessed. Kathy hits Chloe at least three times before Shay comes out of the haze that Chloe’s beating put on both of us. She scrambles to Kathy’s side, placing a feather light hand on Kathy’s back. “Baby, that’s enough.” Kathy keeps hitting Chloe, each punch harder than the last and it’s as if she didn’t even hear Shay. “We need to get her off of her before the cops come or something.” River warns, trying again to break them apart. “That’s not what I’m worried about, you have no idea what she’s capable of when she fights like this.” Shay mutters with worry as she tries to carefully pull Kathy's hand out of Chloe's hair. Again Shay tries to break Kathy away from the girl underneath her. “Babe, stop!” this time she tries to grab her arm but still Kathy doesn’t break out of the trance. Instead she places her hands around Chloe’s neck, giving her a taste of her own medicine. As if this has happened a million times before, Shay takes more forceful action, looking like she knows exactly what she’s doing. “Kathy! Stop!” She places her hand on Kathy’s shoulder and pushes her as far away from Chloe as she can manage. “Kath, sweetie look at me…” She places her hands on Kathy’s cheeks and finally the girl stills her motions a bit. “You need to stop, okay? Let go of her, baby, you’re choking her.” as if Shay magically broke some sort of spell, Kathy instantly releases her grip from Chloe’s throat and moves as far away from the gasping girl as she can manage, like she suddenly has the plague. “W-what happened?” Kathy looks down at Chloe’s beaten state with confusion. “You blacked out again, it’s okay, it’s over now.” Shay places her hand on Kathy’s arm and smiles timidly. Kathy seems to drift out of her confusion and looks up at her with panic, as if she suddenly remembered something. “Did she hurt you? Are you okay?” she tries to check the back of Shay’s head for damage and Shay smiles. “I’m fine, sweetheart.” River looks over Chloe for a minute to make sure she’ll be okay. When she’s sure Kathy’s assault hadn’t killed her, she pulls the blonde to her feet and shoves her towards her friends; who are already standing nervously against the wall. “Get the fuck out of here.” is all she says before the two girls drag Chloe away in a fear driven haste. River stands there and watches them a minute more before she’s convinced they aren’t coming back. She moves to kneel at my side and rubs my shoulder gently. “Ellie?” She waves a hand infront of my face and it takes me a minute to realize she’s even near me, let alone to notice her hand. “We should get her to a hospital, she doesn’t look good at all, River.” I hear what sounds vaguely like Kathy’s voice in the background a minute later. “I know, call a cab or something.” “You’ll never get a cab at this hour, I’ll be right back; I’ll see what Lee has to say.” with that the blured image of Kathy disappears back inside. After that, every minute starts to feel like hours drifting by and the more time that passes the worse my headache gets. “C-can we go now?” I try to voice how much I need to leave right now, but it only seems to leave me in the slurred voice a drunk would have. “Yeah, sweetie. Just let me go find Kathy.” the dark blur infront of me starts to leave my sight and River’s voice follows along behind it. “Stay with her, I’m going to see what’s taking Kathy so long.” She leaves us alone on the sidewalk and Shay scoots closer. “Don’t worry, Ellie. Lee’s dealt with stuff like this before, she’ll make sure you’re okay.” when she moves to hold my hand I try to return the act of kindness with a bruised smile. Only seconds after that, someone rushes through the doors of the neon lit club “She’s over here.” that distorted version of River’s voice emerges again as three blurred people move to stand infront of me. “Okay, how’s the 911 going, sis?” the tallest of the girls kneels at my side as she speaks. “I don’t see what the point is, they’re long gone by now.” “It doesn’t matter, I’ve told you this a thousand times before. Just do it.” the dream like image of Lee moves to examine my head and lets out a sharp breath when her hand comes back to her in a bloody state. “Come on, they can just take our statement at the hospital. I’m not taking the chance on waiting for them to show up.” Suddenly I feel an arm hook under my legs and another one on my back, causing me to squirm away a bit. “Relax, kid. It’s just me.” Lee’s voice rings out and at her comment I let my body relax so she can pick me up. For a second I wonder if she’s even strong enough to do so but the second quickly passes when I feel myself leaving the ground. “What are you doing?” River asks with caution, following right along side of us. I feel her touch my arm for a second before Lee picks up her pace and her hand falls into the darkness around me. All I can see now is a blue flannel shirt and brown hair falling down to tickle my nose. “My car’s parked around back, I’m pretty sure we can all manage to fit inside. We need to get her to a hospital now and it’s not like we’ll get a damn cab in time.” Lee’s voice startles me out of the half asleep state I was in and instantly River reacts to the little jump. “It’s okay, sweetie.” again I feel her hand on my arm and it doesn’t leave me the whole time Lee walks. The dizzying movement of her walking, as long as it feels, probably only lasts seconds and suddenly it comes to a halt, her voice ringing out again. “Kath, get the keys. River, you’ll have to get in first and hold her, we’re only a few blocks away, so we can get away with the tight fit. Unless you don’t want tweedle dee and tweedle dumb to come along.” I here Kathy make some kind of remark on the other side of the car as Lee says that but neither her nor River pay it any mind. “No, I want them to come.” is River’s almost instant reply. For a few minutes I think I fall asleep as Kathy struggles with the key, only stirring again when Lee grumbles something at her. River speaks up again when I move but I don’t catch it. For a second I feel like she’s watching my every movement, as if I’ll kick the bucket any second now. Her fingers move through my hair in a calming way for a few moments before finally the car is unlocked and running. With a stern order from Lee, Kathy moves into the passenger seat and someone opens the back door. Once River’s inside, I’m quickly passed over to her and Lee nearly runs around the car to get in the driver’s seat. Shay finds a way to squeeze in next to River and before I know it, I’m being tossed back a bit as the car jolts forward. “Easy!” River hisses, pulling me closer and whispering some kind of reassurance. Lee murmurs an apology as I try to fight through the pain to better adjust myself. Somewhere between the window and River’s shoulder, I find a spot to rest my head and with that small comfort I start to slip in and out of consciousness as the ride goes on. Untill finally I completly black out. Chapter 16, "Promises" ☯River☯ The hospital room Ellie was put in is currently silent, except for the constant beeping of the monitors. Shay fidgets nervously in one of the seats on the opposite side of the bed, she smiles nervously at me when her eyes look away from her hands and into mine. She hasn’t said much since we got here, her usual cheery manner not currently present to keep away the silence. Kathy insisted she get her head looked at when we got here and Shay’s humble protests are the only thing I’ve heard from her since. Kathy reemerges from the hallway and shatters the silence throughout the dreaded room. “I didn’t know what you wanted so I figured we’d just take turns going. It’s probably better like that anyway, just in case someone has to go to the bathroom or something while someone’s off getting food and what not. That way she’s never alone.” normally I would grumble something about how Ellie would be okay enough to be left alone for more than a minute. But it’s been three days and she hasn’t woken up. She hasn’t even moved in her sleep, she just lays there; like a rock. Or a dead body. A shiver goes down my spine at the thought and Kathy tries to break me out of my thoughts. “You should go get some food, Shay and I can watch her while you’re gone. You haven’t had anything in god knows how long.” She sits in the seat beside me, it’s usually occupied by Ellie’s mom when she’s not at work. I scoot my chair closer to Ellie’s bed, if it’s even possible to get closer at this point. I stare down at the hand I’ve had in my grasp for hours on end before looking back at Kathy, attempting some sort of small smile. “I’m fine, Shay can go. She hasn’t eaten much herself.” Kathy gives me this concerned look but for the time being she says nothing of it and gets up briefly to talk to Shay. They hover in the doorway for a minute, talking in hushed voices and I don’t even bother to listen anymore. They kiss briefly and Shay wanders off down the hall. “You’ll get something when she comes back, right?” Kathy moves to sit at my side again. She places a hand on Ellie’s thigh, just above the knee, and watches her carefully for a minute before turning back to me. “I’m not hungry.” I lie, but we both see right through it. “Come on, don’t try that bull shit, it’s me you’re talking to here. I haven’t seen you leave her side since it happened and I know you’re damn near starving by now, among other things. You haven’t slept, hell you’ve barely left that seat. I told you Shay and I would be here, nothing’s going to happen with us around. I mean I know we haven’t been here the whole time since apparently skipping a Monday was out of Miss Shay’s criteria.” She smirks for a second at the thought of her uneasy girlfriend before going serious again. “But while we were at school her mom was here. It’s not like she’ll be left alone, River.” “I know that…” I grumble, knowing she’s going to pull a serious conversation out of me sooner or later and I hate the idea instantly. “Then what’s wrong?” I groan as soon as she asks the question, moving my eyes back to Ellie’s hand in an attempt to escape her gaze. “I … I made a promise.” I mutter as quietly as I can manage, not that it’ll prevent her from hearing anyway. “Just tell me, River. You know you can trust me, we’re practically twins for God’s sake.” when I glance back up at her, I can still see the sincerity in her eyes; even if she tries to add humor at the end of it all. “In the car, on the way here…” I start off cautiously, still not wanting to say what I’m about to. Still not wanting to admit that I have a heart like the promise I made would imply. A heart that has feelings and is secretly scared of being broken. “I promised her I’d never leave her again… I’ve done it before when she needed me and I don’t want to do that to her again. Ever.” I watch Ellie for a minute after the sentence leaves me, hoping for some sign that she’s awake. When I come up with nothing, I glance back at Kathy again and find her staring at me thoughtfully. “I understand.” is all she says after a few minutes pass. She looks at me like she understands more than anyone else ever could. Like she’s been in my shoes. Done the same things. Made the same mistakes. She breaks the gaze after a minute with a small smile and turns her attention back to Ellie. “I knew there was a reason we met.” She says it so simply but it leaves me at a total loss. Before I can say anything, Shay comes back in with her meal in hand and just like that the moment is gone. Kathy moves back to sitting beside Shay and they eat their meals in total silence. While they eat, I stay in my seat and stare silently at the hand in my grasp. I can’t even think about going to get food right now, it just seems too much to let go of her hand for a long period of time; let alone leaving her entirely. Hours seem to blur by me in a confused daze that I don’t pay attention to. Pretty soon the only thing I’m really aware of is Ellie. Her shallow breathing, her motionless body. Eventually the only thing I care about is the faint pulse I get from letting my fingers dance over her wrist. The room gradually becomes darker, Ellie’s mom had apparently showed up hours ago and I failed to notice her presence. Kathy tries to tell me something but I barely even register it at first. “River?” She squeezes in between my seat and Addie’s to nudge my shoulder gently and I snap out of the daze that the long passing of time set on me. I look away from Ellie’s heart monitor to gaze up at her tiredly. “I’m gonna take Shay home, we didn’t wanna leave but we’ve been awake since it happened and I really think she should get some rest.” I glance over at Shay, slouched in her chair with Kathy’s jacket around her. “We’ll be back first thing in the morning, I promise.” Kathy tries to reassure me with a smile and I look back at her with understanding; she’s just caring for her girlfriend. I know the feeling all too well. “Okay, Kath. Make sure she’s okay.” this sudden bolt of guilt shivers through me. I’d already failed at that myself. “River. Ellie’s gonna be fine. Stop beating yourself up, okay?” sometimes it’s as if the girl can read my mind. Maybe it’s because we have so much in common; after all, I’m practically following in her foot steps from what I can tell. I manage a small nod and she pats my shoulders, “Try to get some sleep while you’re at it. I’ll see you in the morning.” she leaves me with those words. She moves away from me to join Shay on the other side of the room, crouching down so she’s level with the exhausted looking girl. She nudges her shoulder gently, much like she did to me, and it rouses Shay from her fragile state of sleep. “Come on, baby, we’re gonna go home.” she plays with Shay’s hair for a second and in an instant I can tell it’s an action that serves only to calm both of their nerves. Shay stares at her for a long minute in sleepy confusion. “What about Ellie?” she glances towards us and when her eyes meet mine, they quickly shoot away. I imagine the sight of me in this state must scare her, I probably look a thousand times more grumpy to her than I usually do. “She’ll be fine. If we can leave her for school, we can leave for a few hours of sleep. Come on, babydoll, you need your rest.” Kathy gently coaxes the girl to her feet and as soon as she starts ushering her to the door, Shay pulls away. “Wait.” she moves away from Kathy to hover over Ellie for a brief second before bending down to hug her. With any other person, I would have protested. But Shay’s feather light touch couldn’t hurt Ellie if she tried; that and I let it go because I know she’s the closest thing Ellie has to a best friend. “Good night, Ellie.” she mumbles quietly; she’s grown accustomed to saying goodbye to Ellie before school, but for some reason this time makes me feel more sick to my stomach than before. Like it’s a final goodbye. Kathy moves to take her place when she shuffles away. She places a gentle hand on Ellie’s shoulder and bends down to lightly kiss her forehead. “See you tomorrow, El.” For someone who can fight like hell, she’s surprisingly super gentle with people she cares about. She steps away from the hospital bed after a delayed minute and moves to take Shay’s hand. “Goodnight, Mrs. Stone.” even now Shay manages to keep her sense of respect and manners. “Goodbye, sweetheart. Thank you both for staying with her.” for the first time all day, I manage to hear Addie’s voice. For fifteen minutes after they’ve left, I don’t really expect to hear it again. But I do. “River, can I ask you something?” it takes me a second for my tired brain to register the noise as a question and eventually I manage a reply, “Sure.” “I probably shouldn’t be bringing this up being as Ellie can’t really speak for herself… But I guess it’s my job as a mother to ask.” She doesn’t actually get to asking whatever it is until a moment later, when she gathers the courage. “Are you two… Are you the same as those girls?” she nods very subtly towards the door Kathy and Shay had disappeared through what already seems like hours ago. I know what she’s asking before she even asks, as vague as her wording is. But still my response is delayed. For the first time, it’s not because I don’t want people to know; I’ve stopped thinking like that ever since Chloe showed up on that street. It’s just a little intimidating when I’m talking to the mother of the girl I’ve been in bed with. “Yeah…” I answer quietly with a small nod. She takes that in for a moment, trying to wrap her head around how I unintentionally just brought her daughter’s sexuality to the surface. “Well, I can’t say her father would be pleased if he were still around. But after all, his narrow mindedness is partly what lead to the divorce. Unlike him, I’m more worried right now about how you’ll treat her.” She turns her body to face me more fully and when it couples with the look she’s giving me, I feel the cowardliness in me grow. “I won’t hurt her.” the statement itself is already a lie and I feel as if something should strike me down for all the wrongs I’ve done. The old me has already broken that promise time and time again. But that's the old me, I swore I’d never let anything happen to her again and in the promise I made to Ellie; I know I can keep the promise I’m making now to her mom. I won’t hurt her. Not again. “You’re a good girl, River. I’m trusting you to take care of my baby.” her entire statement feels like a small stab in the chest but I try not to let it show in my expression. “I will.” when it leaves my mouth, the answer I give to her implied question doesn’t seem enough. In this era, this type of thing doesn’t happen all that often; when people date they don’t usually have to worry about meeting the parents and having the awful conversation I’m enduring now. As old fashioned as it is, it’s still a reality to some and no one really likes to be having this conversation with their lover’s parent; most would probably leave it at that small agreement in hopes the conversation ends. But as uncomfortable as this is, I have to make sure she knows I care about Ellie; that her daughter will be in safe hands. Even if I wasn’t that person before, I swear from this moment on to be the person she deserves. Before I really know what I’m going to say, I find myself speaking. “She means the world to me.That sounds like something any stupid teenager would say, but I mean it. She’s the best thing that’s happened to me, She’s always been there for me. Ever since we met at the park and she had those pigtails.” I smile briefly at the memory of a 12 year old Ellie and Addie smiles too. It’s the first time I think we’ve smiled in days. “You’ve been through a lot together.” she says with this fond tone in her voice. “We have.” I mutter, knowing better than Addie that Ellie has endured a lot for me. Because that’s just the kind of person Ellie is. I wish I could be more like her, maybe then we wouldn’t be in this mess. She gives me one last small smile before moving to the loveseat sitting in the corner of the room. Within minutes she’s asleep and I’m left alone in the silence of the room, the constant beeping of the monitor being the only thing radiating through the small, dreaded hospital room. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At some point, I must have let the tiredness get the better of me. I open my eyes to see nothing but a white blanket and Ellie’s hand. I reach out to it with as much gentleness as I can manage. I run my fingers along her palm; letting out a small sigh of relief when they come in contact with warm skin. At least I know she made it through the night. Maybe Kathy’s right, maybe I am worrying too much. But it’s not like I can help it. I move my fingers up past her hand and stop at her wrist, the faint feel of her heartbeat still remains and I relax a bit. I move up the rest of her arm rather absentmindedly. I’m thankful I chose this side of the bed, I couldn’t bare looking at the scars that line her other arm. Carefully I move my hand back to holding onto hers, still I haven’t managed to lift my head from where it’s rested. I watch her for a while, this sense of hope still in the pit of my stomach. I’m still waiting for her to show me she’s okay. One of her fingers suddenly feels like it’s moving underneath my grasp and I pull my hand away to study hers intently. At least ten minutes must pass and I start to realize I probably just imagined it. Please move, please. I find my thoughts begging for any signs that she could be conscious. When nothing happens, I move to play with her fingers; this wave of defeat washing over me. A few more minutes go by and I find myself falling back asleep, my hand starts to fall away from hers. But just before it does I feel her index finger suddenly hook around my ring finger. My head shoots up from its resting spot by her leg and that feeling of hope in my stomach erupts into flames. “Ellie?” I search her face for any signs she’s awake but nothing seems to happen. Maybe it was just a reflex. I place my right hand on her stomach, making sure that my left hand stays in her weak grasp. “Ellie, please. Wake up.” I try to choke back the tears that start to form at the corners of my eyes and I wait. At least five more minutes pass before I feel her other fingers slowly and stiffly move to grab my hand. They just barely manage to hold on with a feather light grip and again I search her face for signs she’s awake. All in one quick second, her body seems to come back to life. She moans softly, a small, strangled cough leaving her and in the process her eyes gradually open. I let my breath in a sigh of relief, my chest feeling like it’s about to burst. As soon as her eyes open, I stand up; hovering over her with worry. “Ellie?” I find myself saying her name again, just to make sure she’s really awake. She lets out a groan of pain and her eyes start searching the room blindly. At last they seem to adjust to the light of the room and her eyes find me. She studies me hard for a moment before realizing who it is she’s looking at. “R… River?” her voice is slightly strained but I couldn’t be more happy to hear it. I feel tears of relief start to stream down my cheeks, “Thank God, you’re okay.” my first instinct is to hug her but I restrain myself in fear of furthering her injuries. I settle for moving my right hand up to her cheek and kissing her on the forehead. She tries to smile but the busted lip Chloe gave her startles the smile away with a pinch of pain. “River…” she tries to start a sentence but finds it difficult at first. I wait impatiently for her to speak, all I’ve been wanting for days on end now is to hear her voice. “… Where am I?” “You’re in the hospital.” I answer instantly, the last word sticking to my tongue like some kind of poison I can’t escape. “W-why? What happened?” she asks with worry. “What do you remember?” I answer with my own question, a small part of me feels glad that she can’t remember. “We were… taking Kathy home, weren’t we?” I can only manage a nod in reply and it takes me several minutes to voice what had happened to her. She doesn’t seem that surprised when I tell her and honestly I can’t blame her, this is something Chloe would do. She’s insane, I swear. Addie stirs from her sleep and notices Ellie’s awake state instantly, as if it’s the first thing she looks for when she wakes up. I know the feeling all too well. She rushes to the side of the hospital bed and unlike me, she doesn’t think to be careful. She moves to hug Ellie regardless and thankfully it doesn’t seem to cause her too much pain. After a hug and several kisses on the cheek, she rushes off to find a doctor. When the doctor arrives, I find myself being shoved out of the room while they do tests. Addie and I wait nervously for at least two hours until finally the doctor comes back to us. “So?” She immediately starts pestering the short, middle aged man. “As I said when you brought her in, she could have had permanent brain damage from such forceful impacts.” He pauses for a minute to read his clipboard and to me it seems like he’s doing it for some kind of dramatic effect. “But the good news is, she’s okay. We’re going to keep her for about two more days just to be sure, but she should be fine at home as long as she’s supervised for a while. Just make sure nothing happens to her head. And I mean absolutely nothing. If she so much as hits her head on a counter door or anything, bring her back in as soon as it happens. Okay?” When he says that, I instantly dislike him because his words are bound to make Addie and I a thousand times more protective. Once Addie’s gone over a few more things with him, he leaves us with paper work and allows us back into Ellie’s room. I’d somehow managed to remember to text Kathy when we were in the waiting room and not five minutes after we’re allowed back in, her and Shay rush through the door. “Hey, cutie. Glad to see you’re finally awake.” Kathy moves to give her a small hug and once again, Ellie tries to smile. Her eyes light up when Shay comes into view and she reaches out for the shy girl the instant she enters the room. “Hi, sweetie.” Shay moves in to give her a hug as soon as Kathy steps back. She’s usually shy and reserved when she hugs her, but now she’s hugging Ellie like they’re long lost sisters. “Wow, how long have I been out?” Ellie asks with surprise. “Only, like, four days, sleeping beauty.” Kathy smirks as she moves to sit in her regular seat. “Really?” the adorable sound of astonishment in Ellie’s voice brings out the first laugh I’ve had in what feels like forever. Chapter 17, "Recoveries" ☀Ellie☀ Ever since I woke up, I’ve been showered with nothing but attention. I didn’t remember what happened at first and I still kind of feel like I woke up in a different world, but I’ve accepted everyone’s kindness with earnest regardless of the situation. When I’m allowed to go home, mom makes sure to treat me like a glass doll the second we leave the hospital. I can tell Kathy finds it amusing and River gets easily annoyed with it. But like Shay, I don’t really seem to mind it. Until the rest of the month passes and she’s still watching me like I’m a child. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With mom insisting I do the rest of my school work from home, Summer finally arrives without me even having to attend almost half of the last semester. I still have to make up everything I’m supposed to be doing and I manage to pass the classes by the skin of my teeth. The first week of summer break goes by relatively calmly, probably because I don’t leave the house. Fear of running into Chloe again still plagues me, even after the month that’s gone by. Thankfully, I have friends to help pull me through it; something I haven’t been able to say for years. Shay’s made a habit of coming over every single day since I got out of the hospital and most of the time she brings Kathy along. For once in my life, I can actually say I have a best friend. Besides River, of course. Speaking of her, she hasn’t left my house since school let out; lately she’s only been leaving when her sister insists she comes home to spend Saturday night with her family. Sometimes I feel like I’m a burden to all of them, but they’ve reassured me time and time again that they actually like spending time with me. “Get your own popcorn!” Kathy swats River’s hand away and it pulls me out of my thoughts and back to the world around me. I try to redirect my attention on the movie playing on Kathy’s tv. Her and Shay moved into this apartment two weeks ago and they insisted we come over the first weekend after school let out. But already it looks like Kathy’s starting to regret it. “I just wanted a little bit, God.” River huffs, moving back towards my side of the couch. She wraps her arm around me as Kathy speaks up again, “Get your own.” she grumbles again and Shay nudges her leg, “Behave.” Despite Shay’s quiet command, the both of them continue to bicker back and forth until the bickering turns into nudges, that turn into hits. Eventually River decides to escalate things and when Kathy least expects it, she tips the bowl of popcorn in her hand, flinging popcorn all over Kathy and an innocent Shay. “River! I just vacuumed!” Kathy’s first instinct is to push River off the couch and then for the next fifteen minutes, they run around the apartment throwing things at each other. For a brief minute I try to break the two of them up, until Shay breaks it up for me. “I can’t hear the movie!” the suddenly stern tone in her voice startles all of us into silence. “Thank you. And you better clean this mess up before this movie ends, Katherine May.” “Of course, dear.” Kathy mutters with this tone of defeat and for the whole rest of the movie, River and her silently pick up the mess they made. An hour later the movie finishes with some sappy, overused ending that I don’t really pay attention to. It doesn’t take long after the movie’s ending for River to start searching for food. She makes herself right at home and raids the refrigerator, much to Kathy’s dismay. Sadly for her, she’ll quickly get use to River eating everything she can manage. But when she tries to eat her food in the living room as Shay starts the next movie, that’s where Kathy draws the line. “This is a new couch, off.” River smirks at her, “No, I’m not a dog.” “Off.” Kathy growls and River moves to the floor in fear of angering Shay with another fight. We end up watching two more movies before finally Shay calls it quits and wanders off to bed. River and I stand up from the couch, taking the hint that it’s time to leave. Kathy mutters a small goodbye through her yawns before shutting the door behind us. We walk down the concrete steps infront of her apartment and make the short walk back to my house. Of course when we get there, mom is still up watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy on the tv in the living room. We try to sneak by her to the stairs but her voice stops us in our tracks before we even get past the first stair, “Nice try, girls. I can finish this in my room, River you’re sleeping on the couch.” she gets up from said couch and gestures for River to take the now unoccupied spot. I now know very well why she does this every time River’s here, River told me the conversation they had when I was in the hospital. As awkward as it makes things now, I’m still overjoyed that River is comfortable enough to tell people about our relationship. Especially when it takes a lot more courage to talk to my mom about it. I walk up the stairs without her and start changing into my night clothes, tossing my bra on my dresser in case I need it tomorrow or something. I pull the covers on my bed back and curl up in the warmth of the blankets. I’m not going to sleep yet, I know that much. Right now I’m just waiting. I know the routine by heart at this point. River will lay on the couch until she’s certain my mom won’t notice her going up stairs. Sometimes it can take hours for her to be distracted or asleep enough, sometimes only minutes. But regardless, I know River will end up sleeping here like every other time before, as if we can’t sleep apart. So until then, I stare up at my ceiling silently and listen to the sounds of mom’s tv downstairs. It doesn’t take her long to drift off to bed and before I know it, my door is opening and River is crawling under my covers. “Hey, how are you feeling?” there it is, that concerned tone. Every time we’ve been alone since I left the hospital, she’s managed to adopt that voice. She speaks like something terrible might happen to me any second. I find myself smiling at the thought of this side of River, she hardly ever shows she cares. I always thought that I was the only one to get to see her sensitive side and to this day I still like the idea. “I’m okay.” I answer simply and she scoots closer, gingerly wrapping her arms around my waist. “I’m not hurting you, am I?” truthfully, my stomach is still the slightest bit sore from how hard Chloe had punched and kicked me, but I can’t bring myself to mention it when River’s being so sweet, it’s not like her. And I intend to soak up every minute of it. “No.” I mumble, a small yawn escaping me as I do so. Satisfied with my answer, she nuzzles my neck. It’s a nice feeling, to have her being this affectionate. She kisses my collarbone a few times and her hand slides under my shirt; her fingers moving along my ribs as if she’s counting each one. Already I can feel that bubbling feeling in the pit of my stomach because I know exactly what she’s thinking. I realize we haven’t actually done this in a while, not since before I ended up in the hospital. Then immediately after the first realization, I realize what “this” is when her hands start to wander further up my body. “River…” I start my protest, trying to remember why I exactly I want to protest. “What?” I can feel the smirk against my skin before she moves to kiss my neck. “My mom usually isn’t right down stairs when we do this, she’s gonna hear.” “Maybe you should practice being more quiet then.” she chuckles and it brings out the playfulness in both of us. I roll over, moving to straddle her waist and a tickle fight breaks loose. She bursts into laughter as I start tickling her sides and she tries to form a sentence between the giggles and gasps for air. “Stop it, she’s going to know I’m up here.” “Who needs to practice being quiet now?” I find myself laughing too and she lets out a grumble of defeat, “Okay... you win. Stop, please.” I pull my hands away from her sides and try to put on the most innocent looking smile I can manage. “You’re an ass.” she sighs, trying to catch her breath again. I lean down to kiss her nose, “I’m sorry.” much to my relief, I know now that she can’t stay mad as long as I put on my best smile. “I forgive you.” she moves to kiss me lightly, but the soft touch instantly leaves me wanting more and without really meaning to, I move to kiss her more forcefully. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem to make her uncomfortable like I worried it would and instead she kisses back. The kisses go on a lot longer than I thought they would and when tongues come into the mix, I forget for a brief second that I’m supposed to be restraining myself. Her hands move up to tangle in my hair, pulling me closer and I take it as a sign to go one step further. Cautiously, I slide my hand under her shirt. For a minute, I don’t do anything more than that, just letting it rest on her stomach. But something starts to get to me and gradually my hand starts moving on it's own will. She breaks the kiss briefly and a desperate need to still be kissing some part of her washes over me. I start kissing her neck and at first she seems okay with it. But at some point, the act must be too much to bear and when I get to her collarbone, she lets out a small moan. Her body tenses and as soon as it does I freeze up. Because the last time her body tensed like that, I went too far and scared her nearly half to death. I pushed too hard, I’m making her panic. God, I’m such an idiot. I pull back instantly, suddenly remembering why I’m never the one on top. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… I just…” I struggle to find something to say but my whole brain process stops when she smiles faintly. “It’s okay, Ellie.” “Really?” the stupid, pointless question leaves me before I can stop it and her smile grows. “Really… It’s okay for you to do that.” “But, I thought…” I’m so dumbfounded that I can’t even manage to finish the sentence. Not that I need to anyways. “I trust you. I know now that you wouldn’t hurt me.” her statement leaves me completely speechless for a few minutes. Is she really saying what I think she’s saying? “Are you sure?” I wiggle back on her hips a bit and stare down at her with accusation unintentionally written all over my face. She sits up so her eyes are once again level with mine and stares right back at me for a moment. Eventually she closes the gap and kisses me softly before pulling back and taking my right hand. She guides it down to the waistband of her shorts and lets it hover there. “I’m sure.” Every tiny doubt I have suddenly vanishes with that little action and I find myself kissing her, gently pushing her back down a moment later. That familiar nervous feeling I felt the first time we did this resurfaces. Only this time it’s a thousand times worse because now I’m the one in control. And Ellie Stone has never once in her life been in control, she doesn’t even know where to begin with the idea of control. Ten minutes go by and we’ve managed to get down to an almost completely naked state. But I still have no idea what I’m doing and all I can think about is how bad I’m going to fuck this up. “Ellie, relax.” I swear the girl can see right through me. I stop the nervous nibbling on her collarbone and move so that my eyes are hovering over hers. “You’re doing great, trust me.” with that little statement of encouragement, I realize she must like the nibbling, despite it being a nervous action. I move to kiss her carefully before moving back to what I was doing before. I gradually start making a careful descent down her torso, stopping when I get between her breasts. From past experiences with her doing this to me, I move to test out feather light kisses around each breast. Her quiet whimpering turns into soft moaning and it quickly encourages more forceful kisses and eventually licks. For a moment I get wrapped up in it, just this once I find myself not being so worried about what I might do. I end up going around her breast at least two times, like I'm on a train track I can't get off of. I realize I'm doing it out of nervousness, too awkward to go any further and at some point I get up the courage to move my mouth away from its track and it ends up on a new one closer to her nipple. Just wanting to satisfy curiosity I move my mouth directly to the rised part of her flesh. She immediately responds by arching her back and pressing her skin further into my mouth. I move to give her other breast the same attention for a moment before deciding to move on. Eager to explore the rest of her, I start moving the trail of open mouthed kisses further down her body. I stop when I get to the only piece of clothing left and I look back up at her with worry. “Can I…” before I can even finish the sentence she responds with: “God, yes.” The longing in her voice speeds up my heartbeat. I carefully pull off the last piece of clothing and toss it to the floor with the rest of our discarded clothes. It takes me a moment to take in the now uncovered skin that presents itself before me. I’ve never actually seen her this naked before and the sight leaves me breathless. All I can really think to do is move closer and satisfy the urge to just reach out and touch her. Her hips buck into my hand when I do and the action sends a shot of arousal down my spine. I don’t really know what I’m doing but I find myself gently running my finger along her just because I can’t really manage to stop myself from the general curiosity of ‘what would happen if I did this’. I find out quickly that whatever I’m doing must feel good in some aspect, because she lets out another moan; trying hard to make sure it’s not louder than the ones before it. Encouraged by the sound, I continue the action. A few minutes of the curious touching goes by until her hips are pushing further into my hand and her back arches more than it did before. “Ellie… Stop teasing.” I realize in an instant that my feather light touching is probably starting to feel inhumanly cruel to her. In an effort to make up for it, I place a kiss on the spot of her torment. The wetness that I feel there makes me pull back in surprise but just as I do, her hips push me right back in. This time a distinct, almost sweet smell is the first thing that greets me. Somehow, I still find it surprising that I can do all of this to her and I find myself pushing closer, just to be sure that I’m not just imagining it. The smell and the wetness gets stronger the closer I get and for a second I nearly bury my nose in it just so I can place the smell better. It’s not sweet but yet somehow it reminds me of something sugary. Curiously, I let my tongue lick her carefully to see if she tastes as good as she smells. The action causes a gasp to leave her lips and her body jolts foreward at the contact. Her legs start to shake and I know by now that my curious playing is getting to her, so instead of teasing her any longer, I decide to put her out of her misery. I place another opened mouthed kiss to her skin, letting my tongue flick out again like an out of control flame. She accepts the action gratefully, pressing herself closer to my mouth in an attempt to get more. Her fingers tangle in my hair, pulling me as close as I can get. I follow the wordless request and start licking her in a more rhythmic pattern. I soon lose sense of what’s going on and all I can really manage to focus on is the actions I’m carrying out. Doing this is actually a lot more pleasurable than I thought it would be and now I know why River doesn’t mind being the one in control all the time. Something about bringing such pleasure to her just feels… nice. My hands start itching to be doing something and I move my right hand back to her, going back to that curious touching. One of my fingers slips inside of her and she lets out a sharp gasp, louder than before. I stop my actions and look back up into her eyes worriedly. “It’s okay, really… keep going. Please.” Her words are more than enough to make me resume my previous actions, adding another finger a few minutes later; my other hand moves to hold onto her hip. I try to keep in time with her breathing but the longer it goes on, the harder I find it to match her shaky breaths. Suddenly the muscles around my fingers start to clench and she throws a hand over her mouth to muffle the noises; much to my disappointment. When her movements start to slow down and the bucking of her hips resides, I move back up to hover over her. Her eyes are closed and her breathing is ragged. Not knowing what else to do, I shower her with kisses until I get a response. She giggles, a thing I’ve rarely heard her do in all the years I’ve known her. “You’re so sweet.” she states and it causes me to smile. She opens her eyes and I keep the smile plastered on until I’m granted with a kiss. She kisses me more passionately than she usually does and honestly I don’t think she’s ever really kissed me like that. She rolls us over and all too soon, I find myself in the familiar place underneath her. She’s not as slow and patient about it, but honestly I don’t mind. She bites on my neck, probably hard enough to leave a bruise but I somehow find myself moaning because of it. Impatiently, she moves her hand down my body and in between my legs. Much like she did, I buck my hips at her touch and she smirks down at me rather proudly. To my relief, her fingers slip inside of me without much hesitation. She’s always been like that, being forceful and it’s something I never really expected to find arousing. But right now, I’m just glad that she can skip the foreplay. Not long after she starts to adapt a rhythm and she bites onto the other side of my neck. I let out another moan, starting to worry slightly if we’re being too loud. But the worry is quickly pushed aside when her other hand moves to the small of my back and in one quick movement, I’m being pulled into her lap. The new position somehow provides her for easier access and my hips buck into her more forcefully when she starts her rhythm again. Instinctively, I move my right hand back down to where it was moments before and she lets out a startled moan when I enter her. After that it all seems to unravel so fast and before I know it, I’m hit with a wall of pleasure. It seems to hit her at the same time and she moves to pull me as close as she can manage; meanwhile my free hand is digging its fingers into her back at such a forceful manner that I start to fear I’m drawing blood. After a few minutes, I collapse back into the mattress and she follows shortly after. She lays at my side and waits for her breathing to settle back to a normal state. A few more minutes go by before she decides to wrap her arms around my waist and nuzzle my neck. “I love you.” it’s such a quiet whisper that I almost don’t catch it. I was honestly drifting off to sleep but when the small statement registers my eyes snap back open, suddenly wide awake, and I swear my heart skips a beat when I hear it. “Do you really mean that?” I move so that I can look her in the eye and she stares back at me mortified. She doesn’t answer for a few minutes and I start to regret saying anything. She wasn’t expecting me to hear, I should have just went to sleep and… “Yes.” it takes me a second to respond to what she just said and I find my mind somehow still plagued with doubt, even after she said it. I move away from her a bit, as if I’m expecting something bad to happen. “Y-you’re serious?” “Have I ever said that to anyone before, Ellie?” her tone sounds so serious but yet I catch her smiling faintly. The statement hits me like a ton of bricks once I realize she’s telling the truth and the only thing I can think to do is hug her. After a minute I pull away a bit, remembering how much she hates hugs. “Sorry.” the apology slips on reflex and she smiles again, this time fully and brightly; like I just told her she won the lottery. “It’s okay.” she moves to kiss me and for once I’m not caught off guard by her affection. The kiss leaves me in a blissful daze and it takes me a second to realize I haven’t returned the three little words I’ve been dying to hear for ages. “I love you too, River.” that bright smile appears again and this sense of pride washes over me. “I’m glad, now go to sleep. You need to rest.” she kisses my forehead before settling into the sheets in her signature way that says she’s sleeping right now, weather I like it or not. So I go along with her and close my eyes again, letting sleep fully take me over. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I stir from my sleep when something in my room clatters to life, I start to immediately worry that River’s leaving and I force my eyes to open. The first thing I see is her standing by the bed, pulling her clothes on. “Where are you going?” I mumble the question with worry as I move to sit up more fully. “I’m just going to the bathroom, baby, relax.” she moves to kiss my cheek and the fear of her leaving melts away. I settle back into the sheets as she starts to walk towards my door. “Oh, not that I don’t love sleeping next to you naked, but you should probably get dressed too before your mom comes investigating.” that signature smirk of hers appears before she disappears into the hallway. I follow her little word of advice and move to look for my clothes. It doesn’t take me long to find everything, all except for my shirt; which I find lodged between my nightstand and my bed. As I pull the shirt down over my head, that clattering noise makes itself known again. I realize that it wasn’t River as I thought it was before, but instead something more near the window. I walk up to it cautiously, which seems like a stupid idea once I actually get to it. It’s open, which instantly makes me start to panic because I know I closed it this morning. My door opens, illuminating the room as River steps back inside. She spots me by the window and studies me for a minute as she closes the door back and walks towards me. “What’s wrong, sweetie?” “Nothing, the window was open and I guess I was just being…” normally I would have gone on to explain how much of a wimp I am but something moves slightly from the darkness behind River. “Babe…?” she gives me this look of concern as soon as I trail off. Whatever it was that moved quickly grabs onto River before she can defend herself in any way. She didn’t even have the time to turn around. I saw it too late. The figure covers her mouth with a cloth in hand and the seriousness of the situation seems to sink in suddenly. My body doesn’t know how to react, all I can manage to do is stand there frozen with fear until the figure is lowering a now unconscious River to the floor. The figure steps closer and still I can’t command my limbs to move, when I try, I only end up stumbling over something and falling down with the intruder hovering right over me. Quicker than I thought humanly possible, they move to attack me. Finally some sort of survival instinct kicks in and I try to squirm away, letting out a scream of fear that I hope draws in some kind of help from my mom or anyone that might be in range. The person moves to practically sit on me and tries to muffle my scream with a hand over my mouth. I try to get a look at who it is, if I die by their hand; I at least want to know what this intruder looks like. But the darkness of the room and the hoodie they’re wearing blocks out any noticeable detail and all I can see of them is long, light colored hair. Mom storms into the room nearly tripping over River in the process and I would thank God aloud if I could manage to. The person over me grumbles something in frustration, the sound of their voice instantly telling me whoever this is, it’s a girl. Before I get the chance to process who she might be, she reaches behind her back and pulls out a handgun, pointing it at my mother with determination. Instinctively she stops in her tracks and stares at the gun fearfully. “If it’s money you want, you can take it. Just please, let us go.” She tries to reason with the unknown intruder and gets nothing more than a silent glare in response. Suddenly the gun moves upwards and quickly the gun fires, silenced by the silencer on the end of it. I would’ve screamed in panic had my mouth not been covered. Thankfully the bullet wasn’t directed at her, but instead the small globe I have hanging from my ceiling. It dislodges from its suspended state and quickly falls down onto her head. With my mom out of the way, the intruder focuses her attention back on her original goal. In the blink of an eye, the butt of the gun comes in contact with the side of my skull. It all happens so quickly, before I know it, my hearing fades, my vision blurs, and I drift into an unconscious state Chapter 18, "Homewrecker"   ☯River☯ As soon as I wake up, something feels wrong but I can’t place it. My head aches, the room is filled with eerie silence, and I’m cold. I open my eyes to find I’m staring at a ceiling that I wasn’t staring at when I fell asleep. I turn over and pull the sheets over my head, I don’t know what’s going on but it’s too early. Maybe I’m still sleeping, I could be dreaming this whole thing. I reach out to pull Ellie closer in a vain attempt to relax. I come up empty handed. Suddenly the silence and the cold make since. She’s not there. I lift my head from my pillow and realize that far more is going on than a missing girlfriend. I’m not even in her room anymore. I’m laying in a stranger’s bed, in a room I’ve never been in before. Where am I? What the hell is going on? “You’re awake, I’m sorry if you have a headache. I had no other way of getting you here. I hope you won’t be mad.” the familiar voice rings out from the other side of the bed and I turn over again drowsily to see who it is. Chloe sits daintily in a love seat a few feet away from the bed. “W-what the hell, Chloe?” I sit up and rub my eyes, looking around in an attempt to recognize this place. This isn’t her bedroom, I’m not even sure this is her house. “I just wanted to take you somewhere where we could have the whole place to ourselves. I found this house not long after I met you, it’s such a nice place, shame it was abandoned. I’ve been keeping it up, I’ve been waiting for years to bring you here, dear.” “Dear?” out of all the weird ramblings she’s spewing, that one little word seems to be the oddest. “Would you prefer I called you something else? Honey? Babe, perhaps? I’ve always liked that one.” “I’m not your babe. Why on earth would you call me that?” hearing those words come from someone who’s gotten into more than one fist fight with me, it’s just an idea I can’t grasp. What’s wrong with her? Why is she acting so weird? “Do you remember last year, when we went to the festival they have before school starts?” she ignores my question entirely and I wrack my brain to try to piece together what she’s referring to. “No…” “Oh, sweetie, that hurts my feelings a bit. But I forgive you, I don’t blame you for forgetting at a time like this.” Her happy expression falters for a second when she says that last part. “Anyway, you took me on all of the rides, oh, and you even won me a teddy bear. I still have it, by the way. It was rather romantic, don’t you think?” Slowly I start to piece together what she’s talking about. “Chloe, that wasn’t a date. I won an elephant for Savannah, too.” “I remember. But you didn’t kiss Savannah.” she smiles fondly at me and all of a sudden I realize why she’s bringing this up. “That wasn’t me, you tried to kiss me and I told you I wasn’t interested. Look, I’m really sorry if me being with Ellie brings up old wounds but I thought you got over it.” “You’re not with her.” she growls, trying not to break her composure. “What do you mean?” “You didn’t turn me down, you must be confused from all the stress you’ve been under. We’ve been together for almost a full year now.” “What the fuck are you talking about? I’m not with you.” the tone in my voice ruins her happy looking smile and turns it into a frown. “Please don’t talk to me like that, you know, you’re being very hurtful right now.” somehow the tone in her voice makes everything click together. Oh my god, does she really believe the story she’s telling me? Is that why she's acting so weird?  “Chloe… I’m not your girlfriend…” I try to address the situation carefully but it blows up in my face. “Is this your way of breaking up with me?” she looks at me with such distress in her eyes and tears start to fall down her cheeks. She really does believe it. “N-no… I mean…” She gets up and starts to pace. “I know things haven’t exactly been the easiest lately, but you don’t have to talk like that. We can work things out.” “No, Chloe, we can’t. You don’t understand, I’m with Ellie…” I would have gone on to explain that she’s completely lost her mind but she cuts me off. “You’re not!” her raised voice level startles me into silence. “I know what you’ve been doing, you’ve been cheating on me. But I can’t just let you throw away what we have for…  her. I’m going to fix this, I swear.” she steps closer and moves to sit in my lap. I’m so completely confused by everything that’s happening that I don’t think to push her off at first. “I’ll be better to you. Please, just let me try to fix things.” she wraps her arms around my neck and for some reason I can’t manage to push her away. I pity her. A part of me feels like I drove her over the edge and now she’s completely insane. All because I rejected her. “Chloe…” I try to soften my voice, like I’m talking to a child. “This isn’t going to work out, you have to understand that.” “It will work out. I know we’ve both been horrible to each other lately, but I also know that you still love me. Deep down, I know you do.” before I can make a protest, she presses her lips to mine. Immediately, I feel dirty, like my lips are suddenly filthy just for kissing someone who’s not Ellie. But still I don’t pull away, I’ll at least let her have this one moment. Maybe she deserves that much from me since I’m the reason she’s so insane right now. But she takes the gesture too far, assuming that I wanted to kiss her just because I didn’t have it in me to hurt her anymore. She deepens the kiss, moving her hands down my torso to rest on the waistband of my pajamas. I break the kiss in hopes I can stop her, but she only takes that as a sign she’s not doing anything wrong. She moves to start kissing my neck, moving her hands back up to explore my body. It’s too pushy, it brings back memories of my uncle and those awful men taking advantage of me. Ellie never tried to touch me like this, she was always respectful. Ellie. “Chloe… stop. I can’t do this.” I push her back slightly and try to catch my breathe. “Why not?” again that hurt tone in her voice strikes me down, why do I keep hurting every girl that falls in love with me? “I won’t hurt Ellie. I love her, Chloe.” “No… You love me.” “Chloe, I don’t…” “Stop lying!” again her raised voice startles me into total silence. “I’m supposed to be the one you love. Why don’t you love me anymore?” she starts crying again and I don’t know how to respond. How do I tell her what she thinks she knows is all made up? “I… I never did. Chloe, you’re confused. If you let me help you, I can take you somewhere and they’ll give you medicine or something…” she pushes on my shoulders and shoves herself out of my lap; moving to pace the room again. “You’re the one that’s confused. It’s all her fault, she did this to you. I’m going to make her pay.” in the blink of an eye my mood towards her changes, instantly replaced by the urge to protect Ellie. “Chloe. Do you have her here too?” “She’s downstairs, she has to pay for what she did, River.” Before I can even really think, I’m getting to my feet and walking towards her. “If you hurt her, I swear to god…” She pushes me back again and starts walking towards the door. “I’ll do far more than hurt her. If you won’t love me, I’ll make both of you pay. Starting with her.” she leaves the room before I can respond and slams the door in my face; locking me inside.   ☀Ellie☀   I rouse from my “sleep” sometime later with a splitting headache and I struggle to remember what happened. I try to open my eyes to gauge my surroundings. The first thing I notice is that I’m now sitting up, leaned against something; a wall probably. It’s cold and slightly damp. I try again to open my heavy eyes, there’s a small light in the room I find myself in. Someone is crouching infront of me, watching me. “Wake up!” something slams into the side of my face and I’m forced to do as the person instructs. My eyes snap open and in a panic I try to look around. I’m in some kind of basement with a girl hovering around me. I suddenly remember what happened and realize in a hot second that this is the same girl that broke into my home. When the shock of the punch wears off, I focus my eyes more closely on the girl in question; trying so desperately to see if there’s any detail I can spot on her. She’s blonde. “C… Chloe?” Suddenly everything clicks, of course this would happen. Who else did I expect? But why does she have me here? What’s going on? “Of course it’s me, you stupid whore.” she slaps the other side of my face and I try in vain to shield myself; only to realize my hands are tied together. “Wh-where am I?” “Shut up!” she slaps me again and I start to feel tears form at the corners of my eyes. “You don’t deserve to know where you are, you’ll never get out of here anyways.” I try not to speak, in fear of her silencing me again. “This is all your fault, everything was perfect until you fucked it up.” “I didn’t do anything… Why am I here?” as much as I tried not to speak, fear of what may happen drives the words past my lips. “You’re here because you ruined everything, you took her from me. I’m going to make you pay for what you’ve done.” the low growl that emits from the seemingly angelic looking cheerleader sends a shiver down my spine. I don’t know what I did, but I regret it already. “I’m sorry, whatever I did, I’m sorry. Please let me go.” a sob of pure fear works its way out of me and again she hits me. “You’re not sorry!” She nearly screams it at me and I shrink back against the wall, startled by the outburst. “You don’t even know what you’ve done, how dare you try to act like you’re sorry? You’re not sorry, but you will be. And when you are sorry, I’m still going to make you pay. You’re never getting out of here, no matter how sorry you say you are.” ☯River☯ I hit the door when she slams it in my face, as if it’ll actually help me. After a minute, I look around the room to take in my surroundings. I’ve definitely never been here before; she must have actually brought all of her stuff to this abandoned house. The windows are covered with wood and bared up like a jail cell. I can’t tell if it was her doing or not but regardless I’m trapped in her until she comes back for me. Unless I find some way to get the door open. I turn back to the door I’m leaning against and stare at it silently for a moment. I reach out to turn the knob, as if I actually expect her to keep it unlocked. But by some miracle the door isn’t locked and it gives way after a little pushing. Cautiously, I step into the small hallway that greets me on the other side of the door. I walk down it, trying to ignore all the pictures that Chloe and I took when we were friends hanging on both walls. I don’t bother to open any of the doors that occasionally interrupt the walls of the dark hall, instead I follow the hallway all the way to an end. A living room is the first thing I see on my left and a kitchen on my right. It’s a small, simple house, but still I find it surprising that it’s fully furnished; as if someone’s been living here. For a brief second I start to worry if Chloe was lying about the house being abandoned. Did she lock up the owners? Or is it really abandoned and she was crazy enough to set up all this stuff? Does she think that we live here together? I try to push the thought aside as I wander the house, I find myself in the kitchen. There’s a back door and right beside it, a door that leads to what I can only guess is the basement. Carefully I press my ear to the door and listen. I can hear muffled voices and in hot instant, I know she’s down there. And so is Ellie. Chloe’s voice raises for a minute and the shear anger in her voice leaves me standing here stunned. I still can’t believe such a seemingly normal looking girl could go this far off the edge. Chloe’s voice fades from yelling into a low, warning growl and I look around the room in a futile attempt at trying to figure out what to do. Cautiously I open the door and stare down the dark stairway, another door at the end of it. I try to walk down the wooden steps as quietly as I can manage and slowly but surely I find myself in front of the other door. Again I press my ear to the door as a murmuring voice starts up again. Then it happens. It’s sudden and the moment goes by so fast that I almost don’t catch it. But it’s this distinct sound of a bone snapping. This sound of pure agony emits from the other side of the door, it’s an odd mix between a scream and a groan but somehow it sends a shiver down my spine. Because instantly I know it has to be Ellie. I try to push past the barrier of the door only to find that Chloe had actually locked this door. A wave of panic washes over me and my only instinct is to hit my fist against the door. “Chloe, Stop!” My voice seems to draw the attention of someone inside and they move to hover infront of the door. “River… Just go back to our room, you shouldn’t have come here. I’ll be there to talk to you in a minute.” Chloe’s muffled voice reaches my ears but it does nothing to calm me. “Let me in, let me see her!” “You don’t need to see her, River. It’s better if you don’t. I’ll take care of this, please go back to our room.” her reply only causes my panic to increase and I ram my shoulder into the door once before a stream of protests leaves my mouth without me even really knowing what I’m doing. “Stop! Don’t hurt her anymore, please!” I hit the door a few times but my efforts are in vain and her shadow starts to move away from the crack at the bottom of the door. “If you won’t leave, then I can’t keep you from hearing. I’m sorry.” is her last warning before I’m ignored altogether. As soon as her figure is gone from my view, I start banging on the door again; slamming my shoulder into it a few more times. But this door is made of metal and it wouldn’t move an inch if I hit it with all of my force. I rush back upstairs to try to find something, anything in the kitchen to get me past that door. I find a fire extinguisher and not being able to use anything else, I grab it before rushing back down the stairs to slam it against the doorknob. Just as I get to the door, another muffled sound of pain reaches my ears and my body’s only reaction is to let out some sound of anger and fear mixed into one. I start hitting the doorknob but it seems like a pointless endeavor, as it does little to open the door. Another, louder snap rings in my ears and it’s followed shortly by another scream from Ellie that seems to shatter my heart. I drop the fire extinguisher and go back to fruitlessly hitting the door, trying in vain to get Chloe’s attention. “Stop it! Stop hurting her, please…” the demanding yell morphs into a plea for mercy, which soon turns into uncontrollable sobbing. I fall down infront of the door, feeling like I failed Ellie in every way possible. The torture abruptly stops, Chloe’s shadow moving to hover by the door again. A few minutes of silence pass and I stare down at my hands with every sense of hope draining from me. Suddenly Chloe’s face comes into view as she crouches down infront of me. “Please stop crying, I can’t stand to see you in pain like this.” I push myself to my feet as soon as I realize what this means. I try to push past her to get to the door but she slams it shut before I can get inside. The automatic lock clicks into place and in the blink of an eye, I redirect my attention on Chloe. “What did you do to her? Open the door now, I need to see her.” I shove her against the wall, my fists balling up in her shirt. “River, you can’t see her. I told you… ” “I don’t care, let me see her.” my voice comes out as a low grumble, in a tone I never realized I could use before. I’ve tried to be threatening before but nothing quite compares to this. “River… Don’t make me resort to drastic measures, we can talk. Please? I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier, but we can’t keep getting mad at each other like this. It’s not good for our relationship.” “I’m not your girlfriend, we don’t have a relationship.” I snap back immediately, a small part of me still wanting to try to reason with any sane part of her that might still be in there. Again that hurt look falls onto her features and suddenly something stabs my left side. I stagger away from her, startled by the small pinch of pain. She tosses an injector pen to the ground and instantly I realize what the small stab was. “It’s okay, it’ll make you feel better.” She murmurs, trying to get rid of the panicked expression on my face by caressing my cheek. All the anger and fear I was feeling starts to quickly fade and within a few minutes I forget what I was upset about in the first place. “W-what did you do?” I stumble away from her until I’m backed into the opposite wall. “You weren’t acting like the sweet girlfriend you usually are, I just gave you some medicine to get you back to your old self.” She smiles at me brightly and I feel like I should take it as a bad sign. But I can’t manage to think of her as bad anymore, she is smiling after all. Bad people usually don’t have a nice smile like that do they? “I should take you back to our room, you need to lie down before the medicine fully kicks in. You’ll pass out the first time I give it to you, but don’t worry. Your body will get use to it after that. Then you’ll be back to your sweet self.” She chatters along as she pulls me gingerly up the stairs. By the time I get to the top of the stairs, the high of whatever it is she gave me fully sinks in. I’m no longer worried about what was in the basement.   ☀Ellie☀ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As soon as Chloe had uttered the low warning, a shiver of panic slides down my spine. She stands up and walks away from me, into the darker areas of the basement. She moves around, whatever she’s getting makes a small metallic sound that echoes through the silent basement. She comes back to me with a knife in hand and the second I see the metal tip of the blade, I scoot away from her fearfully. She grabs onto my arm and yanks me to my feet before I can get away. She throws me roughly into some rusted lawn chair and it knocks the air out of my lungs. Being more distracted on trying to breathe, I don’t really pay attention as she pulls up another lawn chair and sits beside me, grabbing for my arm as soon as she’s seated. She starts cutting at my ropes and for some stupid reason I start to think maybe, just maybe, this is all some cruel joke and now she’s letting me go. But it’s only false hope. When my arms are cut free, she sets the blade down beside her chair and moves this slab of wood between us. I don’t know what it’s used for, it’s just this piece of wood, nailed to a flatter wooden base. I can tell she made it herself but what she plans on using it for, I don’t know. But it only takes a total of five seconds to find out. She takes my right arm and quickly slams it down over the wooden slab so fast that I don’t have time to process what she’s doing. My arm bends backwards over the wood and already I can feel every part of my arm straining to stay together. But she doesn’t give it the time to recover, as fast as she slams down my arm, she stands up abruptly and pushes her weight onto my wrist. It only takes seconds for the whole thing to happen, I don’t even get the chance to voice the pain until after I feel the bones snap. For a few seconds I can’t seem to take in anything but the pain, but eventually I start to hear the banging. Chloe is already at the door, talking to whoever it is on the other side. I can’t seem to manage anything other than to gingerly hold my arm. I try to get out of the chair but I find my head is still too fuzzy because of the head injury she gave me that somehow got me here; I couldn’t stand if my life depended on it. I decide it’s probably best not to try anything, in fear she’ll make any pain she inflicts on me worse. So I sit here, hopelessly waiting for the torture that I know will come. She walks back up to me after a minute and decides to ignore whoever is outside. They go silent for a bit and my attention is quickly pulled away from the locked door when she pulls me to my feet again. She grabs her knife before dragging me over to a table in the corner of the room. The person on the other side of that dreaded door comes back as she takes my right arm and puts it on the table. I try to pull my arm away, dreading another broken arm. But it backfires and she reacts by slamming my head onto the table. “Don’t move.” She pushes all of her body weight against me, pinning me to the table; she brings the knife up to my neck and makes a small cut on my collarbone just so she’s certain I’m not moving. I let out a few panicked groans of pain until finally she sets the knife down on the table, right in front of my face. She keeps herself pressed against me so I couldn’t move, if I were still stupid enough to try again to escape. She puts my arm on the table again, keeping her other hand on my head so that I can’t even turn to see what it is she’ll do. She picks up something from the built in shelf below the table’s top and I wait on edge for the pain to start rushing though my arm like fire. For a few seconds, it doesn’t happen and I know she’s just prolonging it to make me suffer that much more. Suddenly something heavy smashes down on my hand; crushing my bones between it and the table. Another scream of pain leaves me as she lifts the heavy object away from my hand. “I bet that’s going to make it hard for you to get free, hmm?” she snickers in my ear before moving away from me and setting down a 25 pound weight on the table by the hunting knife. The metallic banging on the door turns into nothing more than someone’s hand slamming against it. They start yelling again and vaguely I recognize the voice but it gets quieter before I can realize who it is. Chloe steps away from me again and moves back to the door, this time opening it. I sink down to the floor as she passes through it, trying to caress the newly injured wound; but I find it near impossible with my broken arm. I can’t even try to stupidly comfort myself like a child without one of the wounds shooting fire through my body. The person on the other side tries to get inside but Chloe manages to hold them back and the door slams shut, leaving me alone in this dark, damp room. Not knowing what to do, I try to crawl and inch my way to the nearest corner and slump against the wall. It feels like I’ve given up all hope, perhaps a little too easily. Regardless I just sit here and wait for my tormenter to return. Chapter 19 “Hazes of Different Kinds” ☯River☯ For a few minutes I think I fall asleep and I open my eyes to find the world blurred, bright, and colorful. I look around, realizing I’m on that bed again, in the same strange room I woke up in before. “River?” the person beside me nudges my shoulder gently and I turn to look at them with this odd smile lazily stretched across my lips. Chloe’s blue eyes greet mine and she smiles back at me, “I’m sorry about earlier, okay?” “Okay.” I mumble, trying to remember what it is she’s apologizing for. “I’m glad you’re not mad, I hate it when we fight.” She rubs my arm and something feels slightly off when she does it. “Me too.” I reply absentmindedly, trying to figure out why I feel so out of place. I’m high on something, that’s for sure. Did she talk me into smoking weed? I swear when I sober up, I’m going to have a serious talk with her about what she thinks is cool to do on the weekend. I’ve never been into getting high and the sluggish effect it has on my body seems to be one clue as to why. I hate how weak I feel right now. I honestly don’t remember the last time I got high, if I ever really tried it fully. But still I can tell this isn’t weed that’s making me feel like this. Something isn’t piecing together. I look around the room, my mind wandering absently. Chloe puts a hand on my cheek and pulls my attention back to her. “I’m really happy you decided to try to fix things with me. We’re gonna get past this.” she kisses me lightly and my mind tries to piece together all of her actions in a frazzled, utterly stoned state. Were we fighting about something? Why did she kiss me? Do we normally do that? the kiss didn’t feel unnatural, but yet it didn’t feel completely natural either. In the back of my mind I know that I’m use to kissing a  girl, but is she the girl I’m use to kissing? I try to kiss back in an effort to figure out the answer to that last thought. From what I can tell through my high, the kiss is okay. At least she’s not a terrible kisser. But still it doesn’t quite feel right, something is still out of place. “Something’s not right.” I mutter, looking around the room again. I sit up to lean against the headboard, trying to get my mind to clear. She sits up too and within seconds she’s moving to sit in my lap. “You’re just high, relax baby. Just enjoy it.” she moves to kiss me again, more forcefully than the first time. I can’t really manage to react fast enough to kiss back, her movements are so much more fluid than mine and I start to wonder if she’s more sober than me. Or if she’s even high at all. When the kiss breaks she moves to kiss my neck and not sure how to react, I settle back into the headboard. Whatever I’m on seems to intensify everything I feel and even though I’ll react to it at a slower pace, it still feels nice. She nibbles on my neck slightly and to me it feels like a gentle bite. I let out a small squeak, weather it's of pain or pleasure I can’t tell. But it instantly reminds me of someone else. Ellie would make noises like that when I bit her. “Hey, wait… You’re not Ellie, you can’t do that.” I push her back slightly, my arms feeling too weak to even push her back more than a few inches. “I know I’m not Ellie, but I’m the one you’re supposed to be with. Not her.” with that low growling tone in her voice, everything floods back to me. “You… you drugged me. I remember what you did. Get off of me, I need to see her.” again I try to push on her shoulders but she only pushes against me, her resistance making me lose what little strength I had. She shifts her position slightly, moving her legs between mine as she pulls me back into the surface of the mattress. “I can’t, River. I’ve been waiting for this for too long. Please don’t resist, it’ll be more enjoyable for the both of us if you just forget about her and focus on us.” My old fears resurface when she starts to talk like that, she’s talking just like my uncle and his friends did when they… “No, don’t. I can’t go through that again. Please, get off me.” “I know what happened when you were little, your father told me. But I’m not like them, I swear. They had evil intentions, I only want to make you see how much love we have for each other.” She caresses my cheek, moving to kiss me again but now the high has adjusted enough to make me remember how much I hated when her lips came in contact with mine. I have just enough energy in me to pull away, turning my head to the side so I won’t have to look at her. She goes on anyways, kissing my neck without a care about how I feel. She only sees what she wants to see. She stops briefly to pull her tank top over her head, she’s not wearing a bra and at the realization I bet she’s been planning this moment since I ended up here. She tugs at the night shirt I was wearing when she broke into our home and took us in the middle of the night like a true criminal. She pulls it away from my body, despite how bad I want it to stay; I didn’t have a bra when she appeared and I’m lucky I was dressed at all. But still, I’m going to be stripped of every cover I have and there’s not a thing I can do about it. She pulls on the strings of my sweatpants with a rough, impatient movement. The first quiet cry of protest leaves me, tears already burning my eyes. She doesn’t seem to hear me though and proceeds to take my sweatpants and underwear off all in one motion. I shiver as soon as I realize I’m completely naked infront of someone who has every intention of violating the now uncovered skin. She stands up, pulling her shorts and underwear down equally as quick as she had done it to me. She opens the drawer of the small nightstand by the bed and reaches inside for something. I try to turn my head to the other side but I still catch a glance of the pink object. “I thought this would make this better, I wanted to be as intimate with you as possible and the shopkeeper suggested this.” She moves over me again with some kind of sex toy in hand, it looks like any other dildo; except for the smaller one on the other end of it that seems to curve up a bit. She gets on her knees, placing herself right in between my legs and she starts to ease the smaller end inside of herself. I turn my head away from her again, realizing at a painful speed what that thing is for. Now she has the full ability to take me and still there’s nothing I can do. I try to force my limbs to move in some faint hope that the drugs have worn off. But in fact it feels like they’ve only gotten worse into my system, my arms feel like weights now. I couldn’t move them if I put all my energy into it. “River, look at me.” her damned hand moves my head back around to look her dead in the eye. “I’ve always imagined you’d keep eye contact with me, it makes it more romantic.” Nothing could make this romantic. I would spit the thought at her if I could manage to speak; the lump in my throat making it hard to utter much of anything. The heaviness in my muscles has gotten so bad now that I can’t manage the energy to turn my head anymore. I’m forced to keep my eyes facing her as she attempts to slide that god forsaken thing inside of me. Pain intensified by the effects of the medicine reaches me tenfold as she pushes further. With one quick thrust of her hips, the rest of it forces itself inside with a jolt of pain. Involuntarily, I let out a gasp and a small sound of discomfort. I start to curse my body for showing weakness to her. Even if I’m weak enough to let her do this, I still have a strong enough mind to keep my dignity intact. She doesn’t deserve to know what her efforts are doing to me. “I’m sorry, it’s just like that at first. It won’t hurt as much after, I promise.” She tries to kiss me again and I make a point of keeping my body frozen. If I can’t move away, then I just won’t reciprocate. She presses her body closer to me, her skin suddenly completely flush against mine and again I let out an involuntary noise of pure distaste. She moves to my neck again, kissing and nibbling on the flesh and I try to squeeze my eyes shut in an attempt to block out the experience. But just like when I was younger, I won’t be able to push this out of my mind; no matter how hard I try. “River… Please look at me.” she starts to pant a bit and reluctantly I crack my eyes open again. I see her eyes hovering over mine, with this adoring look directed right at me. This is supposed to be romantic and to her we’re making love. But I can’t stand looking at that loving look in her eyes. Unlike her, I know this is all an illusion and we would never be here like this if it weren’t for her forcing the whole thing along. Knowing that makes me sick to my stomach. She forces another kiss onto me, making sure that I keep my eyes open the entire time she pushes inside of me. She sees it as intimate and romantic but I only see it as making me see the pain I’m having to endure right now. Her breathing starts to become irregular and the longer it goes on, the more speed she picks up. And I have to watch the whole thing unravel. She kisses my neck and jaw a few more odd times, kissing me on the lips one last time before her efforts nearly double. At this point, she’s starting to thrust at a painful speed and all I can wish for is for it to be over soon. A few more minutes pass before finally my wish is granted. She lets out a loud moan, pushing against me in one last thrust. A long stream of moans leave her as she rides out the orgasm and after a minute or so, I’m blessed with stillness. I try to sniffle back the tears as she pulls the dreaded tool of her torment away from my body. She lays it on the bed beside us and presses a kiss to my forehead. “River, I know you’re upset now. But this will get better for us. One day, I’ll rekindle what you felt for me and then it’ll feel good for you too. Please don’t be upset with me, I just want to fix things.” she caresses my cheek again and I can’t manage to respond in any way; as if she suddenly drained my spirit with what she just did. “I love you, River.” she kisses my cheek and the statement mixed with her action brings the tears back. It’s bad enough that she had to do this to me, but she did it because in a way, she was punishing Ellie and I both. She took back what Ellie had ‘stolen’ from her. She stands up and gets dressed, as soon as the door shuts behind her, the tears finally overflow. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It feels like at least four days have gone by, maybe even a week. But I’ve since lost all sense of time. Each morning she’s woken me up with a kiss on the cheek and each night she’s left me staring at the ceiling; unable to sleep because the sting of her violating me riddles my entire being. Every time she wants to have sex, she gets exactly what she wants and I’m forced to remain still and quiet for the entire thing. The second time she tried, I hadn’t been drugged. But I had ruined that privilege when I smacked her and tried to get free, I was then drugged every time she wanted something from me from that point on. I stare up at the ceiling as she goes through her usual rhythms. When she’s done, she tries to kiss me. But like usual, I’m too drugged and attempting to push the experience away to even notice she had kissed me. “The least you could do is kiss back, River. Would it kill you to at least try to make things work?” I pull my gaze away from the ceiling to stare back at her. I don’t offer a reply, my voice is usually strained when she drugs me anyways. “I’m trying to get through to you but you won’t even try, why is this so difficult?” she moves off of me to sit beside me. “M-maybe if you wouldn’t drug me…” the attempt at a snide remark is cut short when my voice starts to crack. “You wouldn’t let me touch you otherwise, maybe in a while… if you promise not to hit me again.” This time I offer her nothing more than a silent glare and she gets up with a frustrated growl; throwing her clothes on quickly. “Fine, I’ll just go take my frustration out on your mistress. Maybe you’ll come to your senses when I get back.” “No… Please.” I try to sit up, quickly pulled back down when the world spins. She leaves the room before I can grab her attention again and I sink back into the mattress, the tears already falling from my eyes. Every time something goes wrong with me, she hurts Ellie. For however long we’ve been here, I’ve had to listen to the echoes of Ellie’s pain seep up from downstairs; every single time I screw it up for her. It breaks my heart into a thousand pieces knowing that I’m the reason the girl I love is being tortured. Just like with Chloe, I try to zone out of the experience; only temporarily forgetting everything that goes on. Thankfully Chloe’s drugs are good for that. They serve one good purpose, to dull the pain.   . ☀Ellie☀ I wake up in the dark, like each day before. Whenever Chloe isn’t here, I’m left utterly isolated from everything; Even light. The subtle sound of the headboard hitting the wall above me is the sound that woke me from my uncomfortable sleep. I’ve heard it every night since I woke up in this basement, most of the time I’ll hear it at least once in the morning like this too. It’s surprisingly easy to hear, the walls and the floor above me do little to muffle the noises. I always hear it when it happens, the rocking of the bed, the moaning, I’m forced to hear it all; so far, it’s the worst thing Chloe has done to me. The psychological pain I have to endure each time I hear her doing that to River, it’s usually worse than what she does to me physically. I never hear two voices when it happens, leading me to believe River doesn’t particularly like it. But regardless, it feels like a stab in the heart each time. I still can’t tell whether or not River lets her do it and I’m not sure I want to know. It would crush me either way. The thumping increases in speed and volume and I try desperately to block out the noises. The first time I heard it, I had tried to cover my ears; only to have pain shoot through both my arm and hand. Now I just stare at the ground that I can just barely see in this darkness. I hadn’t even known that River was here until I had heard that. I haven’t heard or seen any other signs of River but I know it couldn’t be anyone else Chloe would be having sex with. I know now what it is she blames me for: taking River from her. Sometime when I was left in the dark I had figured it out and the first time I heard them, it just solidified the idea. I know that she had gotten River here the same night I had been dragged into this hell. I remember vividly now what she had done the night she invaded my home. My head still aches from how hard she had hit me with that gun. Each day I wake up, it gets a bit worse and I fear that it’ll kill me if I don’t get to a doctor soon. But the head injury is the least of my worries at this point, each day Chloe inflicts a different wound on me and I know my body can only hold out so long. The way she goes about it though is what stays in my thoughts when she’s gone and River isn’t on my mind. It's a rare occasion, but I do think about it sometimes. She’s never drawn any blood, never burnt me, never done anything that would leave a mark on my body. It’s like she doesn’t want me to have scars. There’s something symbolic behind her reasoning, I’ve just yet to figure it out. Even if she doesn’t leave a mark, she still has an effect on every part of my body. Broken bones seem to be a favorite of hers, she’s broken each finger on my right hand, the one she hadn’t crushed with the weight; everything but the thumb has been snapped. She did them one at a time, most of them a day apart. But she quickly ran out of fingers to break and now she prefers to throw me down and set bricks on me until I feel like my chest is going to cave in. She’s only done that for two days but already it's taking a huge toll on my body. When she’s done with River, I know she’ll come down here and I dread what she’ll do. Now that I think about River, I realize that the thumping has gotten louder and faster still. Now that I’m reminded of it, I find it hard to block out the noise again. But thankfully it doesn’t go on much longer. Chloe lets out a loud, breathy moan; signaling that I won’t have to hear it any longer. She spews a few cuss words before finally the noises slow enough to where I can’t hear them. I try to shift my position against the wall, finding it painful to move much at all. Breathing even hurts now thanks to her new brick idea. I manage to huddle up in the corner that I’ve claimed as my resting spot. Gradually I start to hear them talking, their muffled voices just barely making it through the floorboards. They’re too muffled to hear, but the tones sound upset. They seem to argue for a minute or so before Chloe ends the conversation by shutting the door. Soon her footsteps are coming down the steps and I shrink against the wall the closer she gets. She opens the door, switching the small light on as she enters. She shuts the door before turning to glare at me. She’s silent for at least two minutes before she lets out a growl, picks up that wooden slab she used to break my arm, and throws it at the wall. It makes impact right next to me, splintering instantly and the base pops loose. I shrink closer to the corner of the wall, trying so desperately to just hide away from her. “I don’t understand.” she says at last. I don’t offer a reply, she hasn’t given me water since yesterday morning and already my throat is too dry to really try to speak. I’ve given up on speaking days ago anyways. I only speak when she specifically orders me to. “I’ve been trying so hard, but still you’re ruining things. You’re completely battered and defeated and yet you still get in the way.” She growls again, moving to hover over me. She gives me one swift kick in the ribs before kneeling down infront of me. “I’m convinced you’re some kind of witch. She still doesn’t remember how much she loved me and I know it’s all your doing.” I remain silent, trying to cower away from her like a small animal. She continues once she realizes I’m behaving the way she wants. “Even when we make love, she won’t kiss me. She still thinks she belongs to you.” Hearing her talk about that hurts almost as much as having to hear the act itself. She hasn’t brought it up until now, but I knew she would eventually use it against me. She’s been finding ways to hurt me mentally lately. She cracks a small smile at my expression. “I bet you miss that, don’t you? How does it feel knowing I’m taking her body back?” I let the pain show on my face, knowing it’s the only answer she needs from me. She chuckles lightly at my pain, murmuring a quiet, “Good.” Gradually her expression changes as she thinks it over and instantly I know she’s coming up with another plan to hurt me. “Do you remember what she tastes like?” she leans in closer, daring me to speak. I try not to answer, knowing that my natural instinct to speak out could end up hurting me more than what she originally has planned. “Go on, I know what you did. You took her from me, body and all. Don’t try to act like you didn’t. Answer me. Do you remember what she tastes like?” now that I know I’m being ordered to reply, I try to plan it out carefully. If I say yes, she’ll surely be mad at that, but if I say no she’ll hit me for lying. Slowly I nod my head and it seems to be the right answer. A sinister smirk appears on her lips. She moves from her crouching position to rest on her knees and suddenly she’s reaching her hand inside her yoga pants. I try not to focus on her as she does it, knowing she’ll probably strike me for the littlest of things. She pulls her hand back out after a minute and scoots closer to me, offering the hand to me. She pushes it to my mouth until I can feel the wetness touch my lips. Repulsed by it, I move my head away before I can stop myself and she slaps me; as I knew she would. “Do it.” is the only order she has to give me before I reluctantly open my mouth. She forces her fingers inside of my mouth, making sure that I taste it. “Can you taste her?” she pulls her hand away from my mouth and again I nod slowly. She smiles, clearly pleased by my answer and I hold back the urge to let out a sigh of relief. “Get up.” I try to obey the small order. But she stabbed into the sides of my ankles with the hunting knife days ago to make sure I couldn’t walk far if I ever got out, shortly after, cauterizing it with the same knife and a lighter. Now that I think of it, it’s the only time she’s ever done that; the only scars I’ll have if I live through this. When I try to stagger to my feet she drags me away from the wall and tosses me down onto the blanket that she was kind enough to give me as a bed. “You know what, you wanted to take her from me so bad…” She pulls her pants down, dragging a pink thong down with them. I try to move away, dreading what she has in mind more than anything she’s ever done to me before. “... Then you can lick her off of me.” she finishes the statement, moving to hover over my face. I stare up at her, praying that she won’t really make me go through with it. “Please, don’t make me…” “Do it.” She cuts me off with that hissing order and yanks on my hair until my face comes in contact with her skin. After a moment of hesitation, I do as she says; knowing there’s no other choice. For a minute I lick in a steady rhythm until my already hurting lungs demand that I stop for air. As soon as I pull away, she yanks on my hair again; pulling me back to her. “I didn’t say you could stop to breathe.” I’m forced to go back to my actions. A few minutes go by and I try not to complain, until my lungs start to burn. Breathing through my nose seems to give me little air partly because it’s pressed up against her skin and partly because my lungs have been taking damage for the past two days. After a few more minutes, she pinches my nose with her fingers. “You don’t deserve to breathe, you’ve done nothing but ruin things. Now you’re going to take back what you’ve done.” she pushes herself closer and I try to double my efforts; hoping that if I make her cum, she’ll let me breathe. She starts to shake as soon as I start trying harder and before I can process anything, she presses herself even closer. It gets to the point where it starts to hurt but I don’t try to pull away, she definitely wouldn’t let me breathe then. Her shallow breathing turns into moaning and much like I do when this happens upstairs, I try to block out the noises; keeping myself busy by doubling my efforts yet again. She lets out a sharp moan when I do so, pushing against me and I let out a groan of pain as my head hits the cold floor of the basement. Much to my relief, it isn’t enough to do anything more than bring back my headaches. Suddenly her whole body leans forward, her moans picking up in volume and in an effort to get it over with, I try to move my tongue faster. She cums without much of a warning, letting go of my nose and I accept the action gratefully; inhaling as much air as I can manage. Her orgasm thankfully doesn’t last half as long as it does when she’s with River and she gets off of me as soon as it’s over. I take in a few short breaths, thanking god that I can breathe again; even if it hurts twice as much now to do so. She pulls her yoga pants back on and leaves the room. For a second, I start to think that she’s going to leave me alone for the day. But I’m not that lucky and she comes back a minute later with my dog bowls in her hand. She sets down the bowls before moving to help me get in a better position and instantly I start to worry about the kind gesture, she usually leaves me to fend for myself. She dumps a can of cat food in one bowl before speaking. “I suppose you’ve earned your rations for the day.” she mutters and I know by now what she expects from me. “T-thank you.” I move to hover over the bowl, making sure to not eat until she’s filled the other bowl with water. She doesn’t say anything and I look up at her worriedly. For once her expression isn’t cold, it almost looks caring, compassionate. As if she might regret what she’s doing. “Go ahead, I’ll be back in a few hours.” She grumbles after a minute and at that I move to eat out of the dog bowl. When she stands she leaves the room without stepping on my back or pushing my head into the food. She leaves without hurting me and that mixed with how she helped me up makes me start to fear that her small acts of kindness is some kind of sign something is going to backfire in my face. Chapter 20 “Forgiving and forgetting   ☯River☯ When she left I had fully prepared to block out any noises I heard and for a few minutes, I manage to zone out. I vaguely hear her opening the door to the basement and after that I don’t hear much else. Gradually I do start to hear some faint noise and instantly I try to block it out, assuming Ellie’s misery has started. But as the noise grows louder, I realize it’s not a sound of misery. It’s a soft moan of pleasure. Confused, I try to sit up and listen in on whatever it may be. It takes me a minute to get pass the drugs but finally I move into a position that allows me close enough to the noise to hear more clearly. As I thought before, they aren’t a stream of agonizing screams. They’re quiet moans and when they leave the girl’s mouth, they sound nothing like she’s in pain. Instantly, I recognize the moans that I usually hear faintly over me, I’m usually too distant to recognize them as sounds but now all I can do is focus on it. Chloe isn’t hurting Ellie, at least not physically. She’s doing the same thing to her that she does to me. The realization hits me like a granite wall, I let out a small gasp as I feel my chest tighten. Why is she doing that? It doesn’t make any sense, she can’t stand the idea of Ellie; she wouldn’t be forcing sex onto her like she does with me. I gradually force my limbs to leave the bed, ending up on the wooden floor on all fours. I collapse onto the floor after a minute, unable to hold my body weight up until the drugs wear off a bit more. For now, I have no other choice to lay here until it does. I take advantage of that, turning my head to press my ear against the floor. I’m greeted with more sounds of Chloe’s pleasure and I move my ear away immediately, like it burnt me. My assumption was right, but I still don’t understand why. I have no choice but to lay here and listen to it carry on until Chloe lets out a few more moans and then it stops abruptly; much to my relief. She stays down there for a few more minutes, talks to Ellie, probably feeding her. And then I hear the metal door close and Chloe walks back up the stairs. She doesn’t head immediately for my room, instead she goes to the bathroom across the hall and I hear the shower start a minute later. She doesn’t come back for hours, she showered, wandered around the house, and at some point she even left for a while. In all the time she was gone, the drug had finally worn off and I had managed to stand. I rush to pull on the set of clothes she left for me in the loveseat. As I pull the shirt down over my head, I hear her come back into the house, slamming the front door shut. I sit down on the edge of the bed as she makes her way down the hall. I manage to take a sip of water from the glass on the nightstand before she reaches the door. I set down the glass and stare at the door, waiting for her to open it. For at least a minute, she doesn’t; she just hovers near the door. Finally, the door creaks open and I glare at her as hard as I can manage as soon as her eyes meet mine. “Why did you do that?” I growl at her as she shuts and locks the door behind her. “Do what, sweetie?” “You know exactly what, I heard you. How could you do that to her? What happened to focusing on us, weren’t you trying to fix things?” I use her own illusion of our relationship against her and she frowns, moving to stare at her feet. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to upset you, really. But I had to.” She steps closer, trying to reach out for my hand but I pull away. “Why? Was I not enough for you? You had to use her too?” “No, that’s not it. I would have been content with having you. But I saw how you two used to be, I could see it in her eyes. I had to take it away. I made things right with you, but she was still there. I had to balance it out.” her explanation sends a shiver of anger down my spine, but somehow I knew it would. I knew whatever excuse she used to abuse Ellie like that would infuriate me. “So because you’ve had sex with her now we’re even somehow? You’re really going to stand here and use that as an excuse for what you did?” I stand up and almost move to push on her shoulders, but I stop myself just in time. I know very well by now any violence I direct towards her comes back to Ellie. “It’s not about getting even, I had to right the wrongs you two did. I didn’t want to do it, but it was necessary to fixing our relationship.” a small part of me still wants to speak out against her claims, but I know that telling her the relationship she thinks we have isn’t real, then she’ll only take it out on Ellie more. It’s been less than a week but already I’m adapting to the rules of the insane world she has us trapped in. I’m still hoping somehow I can use that to my advantage. “Alright… I understand.” I mutter with defeat, usually I would make a point to not show weakness but I’m trying to adapt in hopes I can trick her. “That’s good, that means we’ll be okay. I’m sorry it had to be like this, but you have to know your part in all this too.” she does this every time we talk, she tries to make me feel bad for what she thinks I did. For now, I’ll play along, but she’ll never find a way to really get through my head. She’s never going to make me believe the story she believes. “I understand that too.” I try to sound convincing but I can’t manage to force myself to apologize, I’ve done nothing wrong afterall. “I’m glad you’re finally seeing my side.” She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me lightly, trying hard not to force it like she has before. I know by that kiss that having sex with Ellie wasn’t the only thing she changed in her plan to get me back. She’s up to something. “I think I realized something else when I was down there with her. I’m going about this all wrong, I know that now. But I’m still going to try to fix things.” the loving smile that she usually makes a point to keep around me suddenly falters and a serious expression falls onto her features. “I think that I can… forgive you now. In the back of my mind I guess I never really forgave you for what you did, but now that everything is balanced; we can move on. I can be kinder… maybe one day even to the both of you.” For the first time since all of this happened, her words actually manage to restore some of the hope my spirit had lost. “Really?” “I don’t want you to see me as a monster, I’m not. I’ve just had to resort to... drastic measures in order to sew us back together. But that’s over now, I’m hoping now that it’s done you can see me like you use to. Once upon a time you use to think very highly of me, you know.” “I know.” I grumble, trying not to spit out something about how that was before she went off the deep end. “Good, you’re getting better. Back to your old self. I’m going to make us dinner, I went out to the market and got fresh vegetables. I’ll let you eat at the table with me if you promise you’ll be good.” it sounds like something you would say to a child and I have to bite my tongue to keep from hissing an insult at her. “That sounds fun.” I mutter instead. She leaves me with a kiss on the cheek and as soon as the door closes, I collapse back onto the bed. Tears stream down my cheeks once the effect of it all hits me. What she’s doing is horrible. Maybe one day I could forgive her if it were only me in the picture. But what she does to Ellie somehow manages to affect me a thousand times more than when she rapes me. Even now I find it hard to believe that I could think like that, ever since my uncle, I thought that there was nothing worse that you could do to me. But I hadn’t thought about someone hurting the girl that has taken care of me and managed to put me back together ever since we were kids. It feels like she’s taking my angel from me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 21 “A Family By Force”   It’s been at least two months living under Chloe’s control. I find it completely mind blowing that she can leave the house every single day and seem so normal to the outside world, while in fact she has two girls that she tortures daily locked away in an abandoned house. It makes me wonder how long she’ll do this. If she’ll eventually kill us and bury us out back. If she’ll stumble across some other unsuspecting soul, fall in love with them and repeat the process. If she’ll do this for years until the cops finally catch her, like you see on the news; she could go down in history just like all the other serial killers before her. “Honey, what have I told you about the table scraps?” I adjust the ropes that bind me to the table to look back up at her fearfully. “I just thought she could use a little more food.” I glance down at Ellie sadly, silently apologizing for being caught feeding her. I remember clearly the first time Chloe had allowed me to see her, it had been a little less than a month after we ended up here. Actually seeing her in that state shattered what was left of my spirit. She had been easily overpowered, submitting to Chloe like a dog to it’s master. I couldn’t prevent myself from acting out of Chloe’s set character. I sat down beside her and pulled her into my arms, rocking her back and forth like a baby. There was so much I wanted to say to her but Chloe had pulled her out of my arms before I could do so. She effortlessly picked her up, something that she wouldn’t have been able to do when we were still in school. Chloe has gotten a lot stronger; all the while Ellie has gotten weaker, smaller. Over a month we’ve been living like this. Chloe has long since giving up her days hurting Ellie, she hasn’t tortured her like she use to since that day she violated her. If something goes wrong she simply smacks her and it’s enough to order the brainwashed girl into doing whatever Chloe wants. She treats Ellie like an animal, she has two dog bowls at the end of our table that Ellie eats out of without argument. I don’t know what the extent of Ellie’s injuries where but now she can only seem to crawl around on her knees. Occasionally she’ll go on all fours but one of her arms is bent at an odd angle and her left hand is so crushed it makes maneuvering around difficult. But she’s made do and now she’s actually gotten used to moving around like that. It still breaks my heart every time I see how handicapped she looks but I’m forced to hide my emotions. I have to stay in character at all times. If I’m not acting like the River Chloe wants to see, then she gets furious. And she can’t take it out on her ‘lover’. So every time I act out, she takes it out on Ellie; dragging her to the basement and violating her just like she does to me every night. So I’ve learned to stay in character to protect her. But as for Ellie, I don’t think she even has to act. Most of the time she looks 100% convinced that she’s the animal that Chloe treats her as. “She can’t have anything other than the food I give her, she has to stay on a strict diet until she’s healed. I thought you understood this.” Chloe’s voice gradually pulls me back out of my thoughts and I look away from the girl huddled at my feet to look up at the one sitting across from me. “Yes, dear. I’m sorry.” “It’s okay. Just make sure you don’t feed anything out of her diet, I don’t want it to interfere with her medicine or anything. I’m not a doctor, you know. We have to be careful.” I nod silently when she finishes and her smile reappears. We finish the rest of the meal in silence. After she does the dishes she unties my ropes and moves me to the couch, tying my hands together and then tying the rope around my neck to a metal bar she set up by the couch. “What do you wanna watch?” She smiles at me brightly as she bends down so her eyes are level with mine. “Anything you want.” I try to smile back at her, even though it disgusts my whole body to do so. “Okay.” She puts in a movie and sits down beside me as it starts. Like every time before, I never really focus on the movie. I look around the room absentmindedly, then glance over in the kitchen and spot Ellie still tied to the table. She licks a bit of her food off of her crushed hand gingerly before looking up. Our eyes meet and she stares back at me with no clear expression showing on her face. It hurts seeing her like that, so completely brainwashed that she just sits there like any loyal dog would. “Chloe, are you going to let Ellie in here?” I turn my gaze on Chloe and a small, quick spark of anger shines in her eyes; making me regret saying anything in fear of what it will do to Ellie later on. “You’re right, I forgot about her. Thank you for reminding me.” much to my relief she doesn’t seem too upset and she moves off the couch after kissing my cheek. She unties Ellie from the table, hooking a leash onto her collar and bringing her into the living room. Ellie sits carefully on the floor, making sure not to upset Chloe by getting on the couch. “Here, I trust you. You can hold the leash. I need to use the bathroom real quick.” she puts the leash in my hand and I stare down at it, baffled that I’m actually getting good enough at this to allow her to trust me. When she leaves the room, I move to hover over Ellie, looking down at her with admiration. She may seem weak and defeated, but to me she’s so strong for being able to adapt to this so quickly. I start to play with her hair, not knowing what else to do. She looks up at me with a sudden smile on her face, she always seems to do that when it’s me that’s interacting with her. Honestly who could blame her for being more comfortable with me than Chloe? “How are you feeling?” I find myself asking. Her smile widens and she uses her nose to nudge the hand currently playing with her hair. I don’t know why I expected a verbal answer, I haven’t heard her voice in so long. “I’m glad you’re okay.” I run my thumb across her cheek and move to kiss her forehead. She moves to bump her nose against mine, trying her best to communicate back. She somehow brings back the ghost of the smile I thought I lost months ago. I hear the door to the bathroom open and move away from Ellie a bit, just to make sure there’s nothing Chloe can get upset about. I keep playing with her hair though, almost forgetting what I’m doing. I pull my hand back and move to sit in the position I was in before just as Chloe comes back. She smiles at me brightly and sits beside me again. To my surprise, she pats Ellie’s head before settling into the couch. She watches the movie for a few minutes and nothing much more happens. Until Ellie shifts her position a bit and then Chloe does something I didn’t think she would do. “Come here, Ellie.” She pats the empty seat beside her and allows Ellie to carefully crawl up on the couch. “I thought you didn’t like having her on the couch.” I mutter with confusion and she turns her Cheerleader smile back on me. “I think she’s earned it. The longer she behaves, the more privileges she gets. Right, Ellie?” she moves to scruff up Ellie’s hair and the girl nods cautiously. I put on a fake smile, a touch of sincerity behind it. I’m glad she’s finally stopped treating Ellie so badly. Maybe one day Ellie will earn a higher ranking than the “family pet”. The rest of the movie goes on in a relatively uneventful manner. When it’s done, Chloe unties me from the pipe and surprisingly unties the rope from my neck as well. She gingerly takes Ellie’s leash from my hands before grabbing onto my wrist. “Come on. You can take her down to the the basement if you want.” she tugs on my arm lightly, waiting for me to accept the offer and I do almost instantly. Ellie tries to keep up but her pace is always slower than ours and it brings out my natural instinct to care for her; I would carry her if I were allowed to. We get to the first door that leads to the basement and Chloe opens it, taking off Ellie’s leash and then stepping back; allowing me to take her place, something she usually doesn’t do. Carefully, I pick Ellie up after a moment of waiting for her to catch her breath again. She allows me to pick her up without any protests and she doesn’t seem as stiff as when Chloe picks her up. I carry her down the steps, open the metal door, and place her on her makeshift bed of wadded up blankets. I can hear Chloe clearly at the top of the steps, making sure I don’t do anything out of character even when she can’t see me. Ellie settles into the blankets, sitting with her ankles carefully positioned so she doesn’t further her injuries. She watches me thoughtfully, waiting for me to do something. Usually Chloe just leaves her down here, never saying anything to her and then leaving without a second though. But with this change, Ellie studies me, waiting for something new to accompany this new routine. I reach out after a moment to play with her hair. “Goodnight, sweetheart.” I want to reassure her that we’ll get out of this, now that I have a moment alone with her. But I can’t manage to utter anything other than the goodnight, because reassurance at this point could be a cruel lie. She nudges my hand with her nose again after I say it and it’s probably the closest thing I’ll get to her saying something back. I haven’t heard her speak at all since I was allowed to see her, the only noise she uttered when I first saw her was a small sob when I finally got the chance to hold her. But since then, she hasn’t said a single thing and it worries me so much. I don’t know if it’s because she no longer has the ability to speak, or if she simply chooses not to. “Ellie…” I press my forehead to hers, trying to come up with something to say. “I still love you.” after a moment of thought, I find that those words are the only thing I want her to know. She lets out a small whimper and moves to hug me to the best of her ability. This overwhelming need to just hug her and never let her go washes over me and involuntarily I hug her back before I can stop myself, probably hugging a little too tightly. I try to soften my grip on her after a second, trying to be as gentle with her as I can manage. She sniffles, a few stray tears falling onto my neck. I start rubbing her shoulder blade in a small effort to comfort her. She tries to speak, her voice quiet and strained from lack of use. I give her the time to form the words, waiting impatiently to hear her voice again. I need to hear it, just this once before Chloe invades my life again. “I… l-love.. you, too.” she manages to get the words out at last, clearing her throat after finally using her voice for the first time in over a month. Hearing her say that suddenly sends a wave of emotions over me and I barely manage to choke back a sob so Chloe doesn’t hear. I tighten the hug a bit moving to kiss her shoulder. “River, come on. It’s time to go to bed.” I dread what’s in store for me as soon as I hear Chloe say that from the top of the stairs. But just this once, I won’t let it affect me. Because I’ll have this moment to hang onto when it happens. I force myself to break the hug, not wanting to leave her. I kiss her on the cheek, lingering there for a second before I drag myself back up the stairs. Chloe’s suspecting glare meets me at the top of the stairs. “What happened?” that angry flare of jealousy sparks in her eyes again and I know now that I have to extinguish it, for Ellie’s sake. “Nothing, sweetie. I was just saying goodnight to her.” She smiles after a minute of assessing me and I sigh with relief at knowing she believes my character. “Okay, let’s go to bed, baby.” She kisses me on the nose before dragging me back to that dreaded bedroom she calls "ours". Chapter 22, "Birthday Miracles" I wake up to the familiar sensation of Chloe nibbling on my neck. I crack my eyes open, dreading the morning routine just like every morning before. “Happy birthday, baby.” she smiles as soon as I open my eyes fully and look over at her. “B-birthday?” had we really been here that long? Have we seriously spent almost the whole summer trapped in this house like this? “Yes, today’s the 24th of July. How could you forget your own birthday, silly?” how could anyone remember anything like that when they spend their days being raped and held captive in an abandoned house? “I don’t know, I guess I just lost track of time.” I plaster on that fake smile like every day before and it seems to keep her happy. “Well, now that you know it is your birthday, I had a few things planned for today. I already made you your favorite breakfast and you get to eat in bed today. How’s that sound?” She gives me that expecting look, the one that always says to play along or else. “That sounds great.” her smile somehow manages to widen at my words and she gets up, hurrying to get the food after giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. At least on my birthday I get to skip the morning 'sex'. Most other people would love to have it the other way around but the idea of sex has honestly become a dreaded task, much like you would expect it to be when it’s forced. If I ever get out of this mess alive, I doubt sex will ever be the same. Unless it’s with Ellie. If we somehow manage to heal after this hell we’re being dragged through. Chloe comes back with a tray of food in hand. The plate containing scrambled eggs with cheese and ham in it and two slices of bacon on the side. It’s creepy how she knows exactly what I would want for a birthday breakfast, down to how much orange juice I need in my cup. If it were Ellie, I probably wouldn’t find it concerning at all. But since it’s Chloe, it only worries me because I never told her such details and unlike Ellie, she hasn’t been in my life long enough to know things like that. But somehow she does. “Here you go, one delicious breakfast at your service.” She sets the tray of food in my lap and I start eating as soon as I can, knowing it would seem weird to her if I didn’t eat like the River she knows would eat. She sits at my side and waits patiently for me to finish my meal. I find myself eating slower than I usually do, too lost in thought to stay in character. All I can think about is what my birthday means. “Is everything okay, River? Did I overcook something?” that dreadfully sweet voice pulls me out of my thoughts and I snap back into character. “No, it’s amazing. I was just… thinking.” I hadn’t meant to voice that last sentence, but I’ve become accustomed to saying what’s on my mind or deal with her jealous thoughts. I just have to approach everything carefully. “About what, sweetie? It’s your birthday, aren’t you in a good mood?” I find myself nodding as soon as she asks, making sure to keep in character. “It’s just… Ellie’s birthday is four days after mine.” I voice my thoughts quietly, hoping it doesn’t upset her to hear about the one person she doesn’t even consider a person anymore. “Oh, of course. I can get her a small cake I suppose when the time comes, maybe some kind of dog toy.” “You mean you actually want to celebrate her birthday?” I stop eating to look up at her with surprise. It feels like a trap. “If it makes you happy, baby. Consider it a late birthday present. But today we’re going to focus on you, okay? We’ll do whatever you want.” I know without her having to say it that ‘whatever I want’ has strict limits to it, I still won’t be going outside anytime soon. But I don’t care, as long as she’s being nice to Ellie too. “Okay.” I smile back at her, forcing myself to kiss her cheek. I’ll stay in character even more today if it means I’m getting Ellie quite literally out of the dog house. She accepts the kiss with surprise, her smile widening again. “Finish your breakfast, birthday girl. I’ll be back in a little bit.” she pats my knee and leaves as quickly as the words are spoken. I eat my meal cautiously after that, listening for some sign of her somewhere else in the house. More specifically, I listen in worry to make sure she’s not in the basement. But to my relief, I can hear her rummaging around in the closet at the end of the hall. So I finish my meal in peace, content that she’s not out to get Ellie today. A few minutes after I’m done, she comes back with my clothes for the day bundled up in her hands. I get up and set the tray on the dresser at the end of the bed before turning to her and waiting for her to lead the way to the bathroom like she does every morning. She stops at the door and lets me walk in alone, something she hasn’t done before. “You can take a shower by yourself this morning, can’t you? I have a small birthday idea that I need to get ready for you.” I agree to that a little too quickly for her liking and I can only hope it doesn’t upset her. She hands me my clothes and walks away with that smile thankfully still in place. I shut the door and take a shower on my own for the first time in months. A nock hits the door lightly as I get out. “Are you almost done?” Chloe’s voice rings out on the other side as I towel myself off. “Yeah, just let me get dressed.” I make sure to keep my voice extra cheery and it seems to do good, she goes silent after that. I make sure not to take too long getting ready and open the door to see her waiting patiently on the other side. She grabs my arm and tugs me energetically down the hall and to the living room. When we get there, Ellie is sitting obediently on the couch; looking very much like the puppy Chloe treats her as. But she looks different, she’s not wearing torn or unwanted clothes that Chloe had passed down to her. She’s  wearing good clean clothes for once, similar to the ones Chloe gets me. Not only that, but she looks like she got a proper bath. Whenever she starts to get too dirty, Chloe usually just takes her out back, making sure no one knows we’re here, and hoses the poor, naked girl down in freezing water. But today she looks like she’s gotten an actual bath and her hair has been brushed. It even looks like Chloe has taken a few inches off of the girl’s overgrowing locks. Today she looks like her normal self again. “I was thinking when you told me about Ellie’s birthday and I knew deep down that this is how you would want her to celebrate both of your birthdays. So what do you think?” I hear Chloe talking faintly as I move to stand over Ellie. She makes sure to stay in her spot on the couch and looks up at me. I play with her hair for a second and she nudges my unoccupied hand playfully. She’s back to looking like the trained girl I’ve known for the past two months and I wonder briefly if she even remembers what happened last night. “River? I hope I didn’t upset you with any past memories, I just thought you would like to see her like this from now on.” I turn to face Chloe at last, falling back into that fake smile. But this time there’s a vague sense of realness behind it and before I know it, I find myself hugging her. “Thank you.” is all I can manage to mutter, a small part of me is actually thankful deep down. For bringing the old Ellie back, even if it’s not completely her. It’s all I could really ask for on a birthday like this. “You’re welcome, sweetheart. I have to go to work now, I’m trusting you two to behave today. Since it’s your birthday I won’t tie you, but you have to promise to still obey the rules. Okay?” she pulls away from the hug to look at me sternly. “Of course.” I reply almost instantly, just today, I won’t think about escape. As long as I can be with Ellie like this, I won’t go anywhere. “That’s good. I’ll be back around noon, I have a cake to pick up for you after work. Have a good birthday, baby.” She kisses my forehead and waits patiently for the reply I know she’ll demand of me. “I will, thank you again.” I force myself to kiss her on the lips this time, making sure I’m as believable as I can be. Her smile widens to an uncomfortable looking state and she leaves us alone after that. I wait for the door to shut and wait a couple more minutes before moving from my current spot to look out the window. I’ve noticed that she never keeps her car here, she always walks to where ever she has it parked a long distance away from here. I wait until her figure falls out of my line of vision before turning back to Ellie. She turns to watch me as I settle into the seat beside her and she brightens up when our eyes finally meet. She makes this attempt at a smile but with her cut and bruised lips, it’s slanted slightly. Something washes over me at seeing it and I can’t tell if it’s happiness at seeing her smile or pain at seeing her so broken looking. I move my left hand to caress her cheek, making sure my right hand holds onto hers for dear life. She leans into my touch and I swipe my thumb across her cheek on reflex. I move to kiss her forehead before I realize that I should be trying to talk to her. After all, today may be my only chance to do so for god knows how long. “How are you feeling?” for some reason, my concern for her well being is the first thing that slips from my mouth. Her smile turns into one of the many expressions she’s made up over our time here, I’ve learned to read into her silence well. That’s the expression that tells me she’s okay. I let out a small sigh of relief at knowing she’s not in any pain. But it’s not the answer I was looking for, I was hoping to hear her voice again. “You know you can talk to me now, El. She’s not here, it’s okay.” I lock eyes with her and wait, desperately hoping to hear her again. She breaks the gaze, staring down at her hands. She shakes her head slightly, disagreeing with me. “She’s not going to hurt you, it’s just us right now. Please talk to me, Ellie.” I find myself begging just to hear the slightest noise from her. She remains silent, keeping her gaze on her hands. She massages the crushed hand carefully, as if it’ll help relieve any pain she has there. Now that I’m alone with her, I start to worry more that she doesn’t even remember talking to me last night. What if Chloe has her so brainwashed that I won’t be able to talk to her anymore? “Do you remember what you told me last night?” I place my hand carefully on her left arm, hoping that there isn’t a small break somewhere in this arm as well as the other one. She flinches at me touch but it doesn’t seem to be because I caused her any physical pain. She nods her head slowly at my question and I brighten up instantly. “That’s good, I thought maybe she tried to make you forget or… She didn’t do anything to you, did she?” immediately I start to worry that we had been caught somehow and Ellie had been punished without my knowledge. She shakes her head in a clear ‘no’ way and I find myself smiling. “I’m glad, I hate it when she does. I’m sorry I can’t do anything to protect you, it kills me. But I’ll get us out of this, I promise.” I run my thumb across the skin on her arm as delicately as I can manage and she glances up at me. Our eyes lock for only a few seconds before she moves her gaze to her hands again, but still I can see some kind of struggle going on in those green orbs of hers. “What’s wrong? You can talk to me, Ellie. You know I won’t hurt you.” I rub her arm gently and try to smile encouragingly when she glances up at me again. She shakes her head in a way that says ‘This is a bad idea.’ “Why don’t you want to talk to me? Nothing happened the last time, you’re safe. It’s okay.” my reassuring seems to do little to actually reassure her and she scoots away from me slightly. I pull my hands away from her, giving her space in case I scare her off. The last thing I want to do is push too far and become another Chloe in her eyes. A few minutes of silence passes before finally it looks like she’s trying to say something. “S-shouldn’t have…” is all I can manage to make out. “Shouldn’t have what? You shouldn’t have talked to me? I told you it’s okay, she doesn’t know.” she shakes her head at me words. “No, I know that… ” it leaves her barely above a whisper, her voice sounding cracked and strained. “Hold on, I’ll get you some water.” I get up and rush to the kitchen, getting a glass of water from the sink before rushing back to the living room. I take my seat beside her again and I had almost handed her the glass. Before realizing how hard it would be for her to hold onto it, let alone bring it to her mouth. I scoot closer and bring the glass to her lips, she takes a few gulps of the water rather quickly; like she hasn’t had a decent drink in forever. She coughs a bit after I pull the glass away and I set it on a table by the couch as she clears her throat. I wait impatiently as she starts to speak again, “I… shouldn’t have said w-what I said.” clearly I remember the only three words she had managed to say last night and suddenly the sentence she’s saying now starts to feel like a stab in the chest. “You mean you don’t love me anymore?” somehow I feel like I’m jumping to conclusions like Chloe does all the time, but I can’t help myself. It had been such a relief to hear her still say those words after all that’s happened and now she’s sitting here saying she shouldn’t have said them. “I do… But, I’m not supposed to. I’ll ruin things again.” As soon as she utters that last sentence, it all makes sense. Chloe has her completely convinced of the little fairytale Chloe lives in herself. Realizing it hurts more than I thought possible, because I don’t know what to do. Just like with Chloe, I don’t know how to breach this subject. I don’t know how to tell her that it’s all a lie, a fairy tale that Chloe has centered around herself and somehow now Ellie is in that world too. “None of this is your fault, Ellie. You have to know that, okay?” she nods slowly, sniffling back a few tears. Out of old habit I reach up to brush the tears away and she glances up at me again. For a moment, it feels like it use to; before this whole mess happened. And suddenly all I want to do is kiss her, just so she knows my feelings towards her haven’t changed. Chloe can try all she wants, but she’ll never make me love the girl in front of me any less. I lean closer, only inches apart from her. She pulls away at the last second and I realize all too late that I shouldn’t have tried to kiss her. It brought up too many memories and now she’s crying all over again. “I’m sorry, don’t cry. Please.” I pull her in for a hug and to my surprise she hugs back without hesitation, instead of pulling away like I half expected her to. For a few minutes we stay in that hug, until her tears have stopped falling. Even after she’s stopped crying, we stay in the hug. Until her injuries make it uncomfortable for her to sit like that. So I pull away, but to my surprise she moves to curl up in my lap like a child would, burying her nose in my neck. For at least an hour we just sit here like this, not wanting to move in fear of breaking the calmest moment we’ve had in god knows how long. After a while I start absentmindedly playing with her hair and for a long time, she doesn’t seem to mind it. She nuzzles my neck and starts to speak again. “I wish we could be like this… I wish you were mine.” the statement nearly brings me to tears but I bite back the sob, for her sake. I wish you still believed the truth. I move to hug her, trying to express all the emotion that I can in the small action. “I am yours… I wish I knew how to take back everything Chloe’s made you believe.” she moves away from my neck to look at me when I say that, but the statement seems to fall on deaf ears. She doesn’t understand anymore. I want to tell her how much I love her, I know she needs to hear it now more than ever. But I can’t bring myself to tell her. If I did, I would have to explain how everything Chloe has told her to believe is a lie. I would have to take her world apart and put it back together the way it’s supposed to be; I would have to heal her. But deep down, I think we both know that we can’t heal unless we get out of this situation. So until I find a way to free us both from this god forsaken house, then she’ll just have to stay like this. Like a puzzle piece that Chloe had managed to shove together in the wrong order. One day, I swear to take back everything she’s done to us both. “Can we stay like this a little longer?” Ellie moves to nuzzle my neck again and with it, I try to push Chloe to the back of my mind. “Of course we can, as long as you want.” I know as soon as I say it, it’s a lie. Because we can’t stay here as long as we want, eventually Chloe will come back and we’ll have to come back to the horrible reality we now know. But until then, I’m fully determined to let us both escape reality; at least for a while. Another hour or so goes by and still we don’t move. At some point, Ellie falls asleep; murmuring quietly into my neck. I can only imagine Chloe controls her world even when she’s asleep. Which is probably why she looks so worn out, I wonder when the last time she actually slept soundly was. I carefully get up, moving her to the couch so she can sleep a little more comfortably. She sprawls out on the couch and sleeps like a child would, tossing and turning every so often. I watch her sleep for a few minutes before I’m convinced that she’ll stay asleep if I leave. I go to the bathroom quickly before going to the bedroom and grabbing a blanket from the bed. I bring it back to the living room and drape it over Ellie’s sleeping figure. I try to maneuver myself into the spot I was sitting in before, moving her head into my lap. I was hoping it wouldn’t wake her, but unfortunately she wakes from her sleep, turning to stare up at the ceiling. Her eyes fall on me after a minute and she smiles faintly. “Are you hungry? I can try to find some food for you.” I know it would be impossible to do without Chloe knowing I’d broken the locks she has on all the cabinets and fridge. But I’d do it, if Ellie needed me to. “No. Don’t get us in anymore trouble.” she reaches her good hand out to boop me on the nose and for the first time in what feels like centuries, we both laugh. We settle back into this calm state after that and pretty soon she falls back to sleep. Hours go by but I can’t go to sleep like she can, I don’t want to miss a second of this; even if she’s only sleeping. It somehow still manages to bring back some of my spirit, I think a part of me is just glad she’s getting some rest. Content with just sitting here, I pass the time playing with her hair; occasionally running a hand over her skin when it’s not too painful to look at her broken state. I lose track of the time and maybe for a while I even doze off. I don’t know how long I sleep but the sound of the front door unlocking rouses me from my sleep. I rub at my eyes before going back to playing with Ellie’s hair, like I need to do it in order to wake up better. Before I can really wake up full enough to realize Chloe’s back, she’s standing over us; not five feet away. “Is this all you’ve been doing all day, River?” her voice finally makes me snap back into my senses and I look up at her, trying not to show my fear. “Yeah, I just wanted to relax today.” I jump back into my character and she seems to buy it. “Aww, you poor thing. You’ve been so stressed lately. Do you feel a little better now that you’ve had a day to relax?” She smiles that stupid smile at me and I plaster my fake smile on as she bends over to kiss my forehead. “Yeah, it was nice.” she giggles at my reply and moves to kiss my nose. “I’m glad, I should let you do this more often then. Come on, I have dinner. I ordered chinese food, how’s that?” I try to sound enthused, no matter what kind of meal she might have. She gets Ellie’s collar and leash and wakes her up rather roughly, simply pulling the girl out of my lap and onto the ground. I try not to break my character when a small wave of concern rushes through me. Thankfully, Ellie gets to her senses without any complaints and seemingly without any injuries. Chloe makes swift work of dragging her to the kitchen and tying her to the table before I’m forced to join them.   ᧅ Kathy ᧅ Practically the whole summer has gone by since Ellie’s mom had told me what happened. She went to the police and they tried their best but they didn’t find Ellie. Or River. She doesn’t know who it was that took them and the cops don’t have any idea where to start. But I had a few ideas, in the beginning. I told them that if they wanted to find Ellie or River, they should go to Chloe. They did actually go to her house, they went to every one of her friends houses too. But they didn’t find anything that would give them any kind of clue as to where Ellie and River had disappeared to. It keeps me up at night, not knowing what’s become of them. If they’re even still alive. Shay has nightmares about it a lot, I know she misses Ellie. They were practically sisters, Shay’s never trusted anyone like she did Ellie and I doubt it was any different for Ellie herself. It was kind of the same for River and I, she didn’t open up much but that’s one of the many things we had in common. I just wish I knew what happened to them, I wouldn’t hesitate to go after them myself if I had any clue where they were. “Excuse me, earth to Katherine.” my superior, Bill, taps on my shoulder and pulls me away from absentmindedly pricing the canned goods. I’d been working in this grocery store since Shay and I decided we wanted our own place, but I’ve yet to really focus on the job. And I’ve yet to find the guy in charge of training me anything but annoying and pigish. “Kathy.” I hiss, it’s probably the tenth time I’ve told him just tonight but he makes a point of calling me anything but the name I prefer. “Whatever, hot stuff. I have a customer waiting for a cake she ordered and you’re not doing anything useful. So get your ass over there and learn how to hand out deliveries.” I set down the can in my hand and the pricer, trying my best not to hit him with either one as I start to walk to the bakery counter. “And it wouldn’t kill you to have some manners next time.” he shouts after me but I try to ignore him for the sake of keeping my job. I get behind the counter and ask the girl what cake she ordered without even looking at her. “It was just a simple birthday cake, honestly I could have just picked one up easier at Food Lion.” Normally I wouldn’t pay any attention to the rude tone in her voice. But I know that rude, bitchy tone all too well. I finally look up from the line up of cakes to come face to face with none other than Chloe. She smirks at the expression on my face. “Nice to see you again, it’s been a while. How’s your little girlfriend?” every word that leaves her is riddled with this snarky tone. “She’s fine, how’s your nose?” I shoot back, reminding her of the beating I gave her. She moves her hand over her nose self consciously and I smile with satisfaction. She goes silent and I look through the cakes for the one with her name printed on the cardboard box. “I heard you two have an apartment together now. Are you planning on getting married and having kids next?” she tries to keep her tone casual but anyone could pick up the distaste clearly woven into her voice. “We’re not really the type to have kids but I have been thinking of proposing, if you must know.” I make a point to ignore her tone and answer her as if she were someone who would actually be nice enough to start up a conversation like that. I refuse to give her the satisfation of getting to me. “How cute, don’t forget to invite me to the wedding, Butchy.” after that, I decide it’s probably better to ignore her. Shay’s not here to pull me back and clearly she didn’t learn from the last time I kicked her ass. I find her cake and set it on the counter. “That’ll be $22.35” I grumble and she starts rummaging through her purse. “Who’s the cake for anyway? Are you celebrating your own birthday cause no one else would?” She looks up briefly to glare at me and I glare right back. I can still see the fear in her eyes and she quickly moves her gaze back down to her purse. “No, it’s not for me. It’s for… A friend.” that sinister smile appears on her lips when she utters the word ‘friend’ but I decide it’s better not to get involved. She could have some kind of cruel message written on that cake and an even crueler prank in plan, but as long as I’m not involved somehow I’m not going to question it. She hands me over her credit card and starts up conversation again as I take care of the cake’s expenses. “Oh, by the way. Thanks for sending cops to my house awhile back, I’m sure that was your doing.” I ignore the statement and hand her the card back. She starts to walk away but not before leaving me with one last remark. “Shame they didn’t find them, I’m not going to be the one spending birthdays alone.” the statement sends a shiver down my spine and instantly I wonder how anyone could be so cold hearted. But I don’t really think that over for very long before I start to wonder if she really is the one behind this all. The cops say she’s innocent but I think the girl has her ways of faking it. And the longer I think about it, the more I start to piece together the hidden riddles she had in our short conversation. The way she said the birthday cake was for a friend was just odd, she had used this strange tone and I know there was something hidden behind it. And then she brought up Ellie and River. ‘I’m not going to be the one spending birthdays alone.’ Something about that sentence just clicks in my head after she’s gone. I don’t remember clearly but I know someone had a birthday this month. I remember Shay talking about it with Ellie when we were still in school and she had brought it up a couple of days ago. Bill comes up to me as I start walking away from the counter and I push by him when he tries to stop me from heading towards the door. I stop before I actually go outside, looking through the glass to make sure Chloe is gone before I go out there. I watch her walk away from the store as I pull out my cellphone and call Shay’s number. She picks up on the second ring and I watch Chloe for a second before answering to her quiet “Hello”. “Hey, I just ran into Chloe at work.” “Baby, that’s great. But I’m late for dinner with my parents and you know I’m already on thin ice with them since we got the apartment.” I hear her rummage through our closet for a minute before she turns her attention back to me. “I already know what you’re thinking, Kathy. You know it’s not her, the cops told you themselves.” “I know, I know. I just need you to answer something for me.” “Alright, I’m listening.” she sighs out and I hear the faint sound of her closing a door. “You said something about Ellie having a birthday, or maybe it was River. Which one of them was supposed to have a birthday this month?” She’s silent for a moment, probably trying to figure out what that has to do with anything. “They both did, I think. Ellie’s is in four days and River’s is… today, if I remember correctly.” Chloe completely disappears from my sight as she answers and I leave the store, trying to catch up with her; but at the same time trying not to be seen by her. “Babe, can I ask what this has to do with Chloe?” Shay’s voice rings out as I manage to spot Chloe again, at least a football field away. “I think she just bought River’s birthday cake.” Chapter 23, "The Heroine"  “Maybe we should tell the cops or something, Kathy.” Shay mutters quietly as I follow the distant silhouette of Chloe. It takes me a second to register the voice coming out of my cell phone and it takes me a moment more to answer, fearing Chloe will hear me. “No, They didn’t do anything last time. I’m going after her.” I whisper into the phone and slow down when Chloe starts to turn down a dimly light street. I stop in my tracks, hoping she doesn’t see me as she turns and I get lucky enough that she doesn’t decide to look around. I start walking again and Shay decides to speak up. “You can’t be serious, Kath. Do you know how bad of an idea that is?” “I don’t care, I know she has something to do with all of this. This could be the only chance I get to find them.” After that she lets out a sigh of defeat, knowing she can’t argue with that. Chloe slows down and I almost don’t notice until I’m getting close enough for her to hear me. I slow down to match her pace and thankfully she still doesn’t think to turn around. “Shay, I have to go now…” “Wait!” she cuts me off with an overly excited voice and I wince, fearing Chloe heard it somehow. She keeps walking though, not seeming to notice. “What?” I whisper my reply impatiently, moving to hide in the shadows that the street lights can’t reach. “Please be careful, baby.” her voice softens with concern and I find myself smiling. “I will. I’ll be home as soon as I can.” I hang up after she makes a point of exchanging ‘I love you’s and ‘goodbye’s. I follow behind Chloe for a few more feet before she turns to walk up someone’s driveway. I sit down on the closest bench and watch her carefully. Instantly I recognize her car but I don’t get why she left it at her friend’s house. She unlocks the car and rummages through it until she comes back out of the car with a birthday bag in her hand. She locks the car back and starts walking back to the street, for the first time she actually stops to look around at her surroundings. I turn around to face the cars passing by, hoping she doesn’t recognize me. A minute or so passes and she doesn’t come over to confront me so I turn back around and find her walking back down the street. I get up and start following her again, thankful I don’t have to keep up with her car. But why is she keeping her car there? Wouldn’t it be easier to just drive to wherever she’s going? She doesn’t want anyone to know where she’s going. I knew it, she’s up to something. I follow her for a few more blocks until the rows of houses start to look more and more empty. Eventually she gets to this abandoned house. At first glance you wouldn’t know it was abandoned, there’s no overgrown plants and the house isn’t run down looking; it’s in surprisingly good shape. But you can tell just by looking at the outside of it that no one’s lived in it for at least a few years. She walks up to the front door and unlocks it, looking around briefly before stepping inside. How does she even have the keys to that house? Something’s definitely off with this girl. Once she’s inside, I stand on the sidewalk nervously, not sure where to go from here. I sit on another nearby bench and try to come up with some kind of plan, looking behind me at the gloomy house every few minutes. The lights inside are dimmed by the boarded up windows. But one window seems to be free of any obscurities and cautiously I start walking up to it. I get to the window and stand on my toes, just barely tall enough to see inside. I find myself looking inside of a living room, fully furnished. For a second I start to wonder if someone does live in there, or if she had just gradually smuggled stuff inside. When I get a good look of the room, I don’t find anyone in there. In fact the lights are off, the only illumination coming from a room right beside the one I’m peering into. I strain to look further into the house, trying to see the other room. The living room branches off into a kitchen of sorts. The only thing in the kitchen visible to me is a table, which Chloe is currently getting ready for a meal. She sets boxes of chinese food down before disappearing into the kitchen again. Someone else is sitting at the other end of the table but it’s too far away for me to see them. Chloe comes back into view with what looks like a rope in her hand. She tugs on the rope lightly and whatever is on the other end walks closer, slackening the rope. My gaze follows it down until the thing tied to it waddles into view. A girl is on the other end of it, crawling on all fours and I can tell instantly it’s because she’s too hurt to walk normally. A knot instantly balls up in my stomach as I realize that the rope is actually a leash and Chloe has the girl in a collar and tied to the leash like a fucking animal. All this time, I has suspected Chloe of something, but never in my wildest dreams had I imagined she was this sick. A darker skinned hand appears from the end of the table that I can’t see, telling me it’s that person that’s hidden from view. Whoever it is brushes the girl’s long hair out of her eyes and I stumble back in shock when Ellie’s familiar face comes into view. Oh my god. I was right, she was behind all of it… God, now that I know, a part of me wishes I’d never seen Ellie in such a terrible state. I wish I were wrong. After a moment, I force myself to walk back up to the window. Ellie is now sitting obediently under the table, crawling out of the way clumsily every time Chloe’s or the other person’s legs block her path. The other person seems to have sympathy for her, sneaking her an eggroll when Chloe isn’t looking. A small part of me worries that that person is River, knowing in the back of my mind that it has to be her. Chloe spots the hand sneaking Ellie food and hits River’s other arm, instantly going into some kind of speech. River gets up, her face finally coming into view as she grabs another eggroll from the counter. She looks terrified and I can only imagine the stuff she’s doing to protect herself and Ellie. I have to do something. I step away from the window, trying not to be seen as my thoughts race on what to do. After a few minutes, I know what I have to do. I just have to sneak in and get them out, easier said than done but I have to try. I sit down and lean against the wall, it’s probably better if I wait it out though. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A lot of time passes and I think at some point I even fall asleep, at least two hours must go by before I see the lights flicker off out of the corner of my eye. I get up and peer inside, as I thought the house is pitch black. I start inching towards the front door, trying to remember all of the lock picking skills I had learned two years ago. Just as I get to the corner of the wall, the door swings open just before I turn the corner. I swing back around, pressing myself against the wall in hopes I can’t be seen in this lighting. “Hi, daddy. I’m sorry I didn’t answer earlier, I was kinda busy.” Chloe’s voice rings out just as she walks into my line of view, holding a phone to her right ear. “No, no, I was just at a house party… No, I wasn’t with a boy… I can’t really come home right now. Yes, I know I haven’t been staying at home very much. But I’m thinking of moving in with my friend… Okay, I’ll be home in a little bit.I have to walk back to Emily’s house, I left my car there.” A second after that last statement she hangs up and puts the phone back in her pocket before grumbling, “Fuck.” under her breath. She walks back inside and I hear her call out River’s name, a minute goes by before she storms back outside and starts walking down the driveway. I hold my breath as she passes me, she heads down the sidewalk without noticing me and I sigh out in relief. I might actually be able to do this. ☯River☯ After dinner and a movie, we get to stay up a little bit later than usual for my birthday before finally Chloe decides it’s time to go to bed. She brings Ellie down to the basement on her own tonight, before dragging me to the bedroom. It only takes seconds before I’m on the bed and pinned underneath her. Her phone vibrates on the nightstand and I mutter a quiet ‘thank god’ as she moves off of me to grab it. “Shit, my dad called twice during dinner, I’m sorry, I have to answer this. I’ll be back in a few minutes to give you your birthday present.” She winks at me before disappearing out of the room, locking me inside. I flop back into the surface of the mattress, wanting nothing more than sleep right now. She walks back into the house quicker than I had expected, calling out my name and giving me no chance to fall asleep. She unlocks the door and rushes inside, heading straight for the closet; grabbing a jacket as she starts to speak.“I have to go visit them, I’m sorry. I know I usually do that on sundays but he insisted. I’ll try to be back as quickly as I can. Half hour, max.” She walks over to the bed and kisses my forehead before grabbing her shoes and slipping them on. “Don’t fall asleep on me, okay. I still owe you your birthday present.” She smiles as she walks out the door, locking it back into place behind her. As soon as she’s left the house, I get more comfortable on the bed. I know she’ll probably just wake me up and force me to go through with sex like usual, but maybe tonight she’ll just let me sleep; it is my birthday after all. And she did say I could do whatever I wanted today. Not five minutes go by before I hear the front door opening again and I turn to bury my face in the pillow, dreading her early return. I hear footsteps start to wander all over the house, opening and closing doors. Eventually the sounds get to the hallway and start opening doors; getting closer and closer to the end of the hall where I am. Curiously, I listen in as she nears my door. What on earth is she doing? The doorknob rattles and she mutters something under her breath. I sit up as I listen to her struggle to open the door. Eventually she wanders off, coming back a minute later. Suddenly a loud thunk sounds out on the other side of the door as she smacks something against the door knob. I get up and walk to the door, curious as hell now. “Chloe, what are you doing?” “River??” The hitting stops and the girl on the other side sounds relieved to know it’s me. “River, it’s Kathy. Are you okay?” Suddenly, I remember who this person is when I hear the name; god I must have forgotten everything that exists beyond these walls. “Kathy? What are you doing here?” I press myself against the door to hear her better, worrying this is some cruel dream. “I followed Chloe, I came to get you out of here. Step away from the door.” I do as she says instantly, so use to following orders by now. She hits the door one last time, with more force than before and suddenly the door swings open; smashing into the wall beside it. When I see her standing there, the realization that this isn’t a dream sets in and I let out a sigh of relief; relief that I’ve been waiting on for months now. I don’t get time to do anything other than that because as soon as our eyes lock, she’s attacking me with a hug. “God, River, I was so worried. I thought I’d never see you two again.” She tightens the hug before pulling back to look me over. “Are you okay?” She asks again and I manage a small nod in response. It starts to set in that we could be getting out of this hell we’ve known for so long. But Ellie isn’t with her and instantly my mind kicks into overdrive. “Did you get Ellie? Come on, we have to get her, she’s in the basement. I need you to help me find something to break in, there’s a metal door with a lock on it and I don’t know how to get in there, can you get in?” After a moment of rambling and dragging her down the hall, I stop to turn back and look at her expectantly. She looks at me with this saddened expression. “I already checked the basement, there’s no way I can get in there. I don’t have enough time, she’s going to be back soon.” her statement only sends me into a more panicked state. “But she’s down there, I have to get to her. Come on, there has to be something we can do.” I pull on her arm and start leading her to the basement, she protests the whole way; trying to get my attention and pull her arm free. But I make it to the first basement door before she finally manages to pull away, “River!” She raises her voice and it grabs my attention, delaying my panic just long enough for her to get her point across. “River, we need to leave. Now.” “What are you talking about? We can’t leave yet, Ellie’s still down there. Come on.” I grab her hand but she makes sure to stand her ground this time, not budging an inch when I try to pull her down the stairs. “River, there’s nothing I can do right now. Look, I don’t want to leave her either, but we need to leave. I can’t risk being here when Chloe comes back and I need you to come with me, please.” “I’m not leaving without her.” I growl back instantly but she proves to be as stubborn as I am. “We’ll get help, we can figure out what to do once I have you safe at the apartment. But we can’t stay here, you know that, River.” She rubs my arms gently and tries to get me to follow her but I pull my arms free of her grasp, suddenly furious with how she’s acting. “If it were Shay you wouldn’t leave.” her movements stiffen at the mention of her girlfriend and finally her expression changes from determination to understanding. She knows deep down that she would be just as hysterical as I am right now if her girlfriend was the one trapped in that basement, and she also knows that our equally stubborn natures are too overbearing to leave loved ones behind. “Alright… We only have, like, ten minutes to find a way to get her out, but if Chloe shows up before we get her you have to come with me. Promise?” I nod my head in understanding, moving to hug her briefly before thundering down the stairs. Kathy joins me a minute later with a makeshift lockpick in her hand. She moves towards the door with the now deformed hairpins in her hands and quickly starts working on the lock. Not five minutes go by before she decides against her decision, “River, I can’t pick a lock like this with hair pins. We need to go, she’ll be back soon.” She stands up and gives me this worried look. The worry in her eyes is warranted, I wouldn’t blame anyone for fearing Chloe at this point. But I still can’t bring myself to follow my natural instinct to flee. “I can’t leave her.” She steps away and I press my forehead to the cold metal of the door. She steps behind me and places a gentle hand on my shoulder. “Okay…” She sighs out, knowing I’m too stubborn to fight with. “Let’s go upstairs and look in the kitchen for something stronger to break the lock.” as soon as she mumbles the offer, I’m bolting back up the stairs, turning around and beckoning her with the wave of a hand once I’ve reached the last step. She follows reluctantly and I nearly rush back down the stairs and pull her up myself. But she picks up her pace and soon she’s trying to break through the locks on the cabinets. “River, she has everything locked down. I don’t know if there’s anything we can use around here. Do you know where she would keep the keys or anything?” I try as hard as my brain can manage to remember any details about Chloe that would give me a clue as to where the keys are. But I don’t have any idea, she’s not stupid; she knows better than that at the very least. Before I get the chance to respond to Kathy’s question, she stops fiddling with the lock in her hand to listen intently towards the direction of the door. “Did you hear that?” She moves to peer out the window by the front door and even from my spot a few feet away, I can hear her breath hitch. “Oh, god. She’s back. River we need to go. Now.” she moves away from the window quickly and grabs my arm as she speaks. I let her pull me along for a few seconds before it sinks in. “What about Ellie?” “Sweetie, I told you. You promised that you would come with me.” She doesn’t look back as she speaks and I jerk my hand away when I realize she no longer has any intention of saving Ellie. “I’m staying.” I plant my feet as firmly on the ground as I can manage and when my arm leaves her grasp she whirls around in panic. “River, we don’t have time for this. She’s on the phone, but she won’t be out there forever. We need to leave.” She tries to usher me towards the door but I stand my ground; weakly but still. “I won’t leave without her.” “River… I know how hard this is. But you have to listen to me, we can’t help her right now. I promise you, once we’re out of here and away from Chloe, will find a way to get Ellie out. Please, you have to trust me.” Before I have the chance to make a rebuttle, the front door starts to come to life with noise as Chloe unlocks it. In a blind haze of panic, Kathy forces me towards the back door. She tugs on my arm and the whole way, I try to tug back. But in her panic, she’s given up being nice and she’s now using all of her strength to hold onto me. The few times I’ve gotten into fights has done little to match the strength that she’s gained from years of fighting people for Shay’s sake. I’m no match for her, especially in the state I am now, and she pulls me out the back door without much effort. Whenever Chloe had let me out of ‘our’ room, I had stared at this door, wishing I could get to it without Chloe seeing me. But now that I actually am crossing the threshold, running past the now wide open door; I find myself fighting it. Because my little fantasies of escape always involved Ellie escaping too. I’m supposed to be the one dragging her to freedom, but instead Kathy is dragging me out into the open air. It’s the first time I’ve seen the outside world in what feels like forever, but now it doesn’t feel as free as I thought it would. Chapter 24, "Abandoned" ☀Ellie☀ Something grabs my arm and lifts me up off of the ground I was sleeping on seconds before, throwing me into the nearest wall before I can even open my eyes. I already know what it is anyways, I don’t even have to be awake to know anymore. “Where is she?!?” The ear piercing scream reaches me as I open my eyes to look up at Chloe. I stare up at her with confusion silently written on my face as I slide back down to the floor. She picks me up again, this time by the throat and pins me against the wall I had just been thrown into. “She’s gone… I know you know what happened, tell me where she is!” much to my surprise, tears are streaming down her cheeks. I shake my head violently, trying to show her I have no idea what’s going on. “You mean… you don’t know where River is?” I shake my head instantly, fearing she’ll slap me just for not knowing. But much to my relief, she rewards me for my good behavior by releasing her grip on my neck. I slide back down the the floor, calmly taking in the air that I’ve been granted with. My lungs have become so used to being deprived of it when I’m being punished that I can manage to go several minutes without air. It also allows me to calmly take in air when it’s given to me, unlike before when I would just gasp for my breath. It’s better this way, it doesn’t anger her as much. “She didn’t even try to get you? She really wanted to leave me that badly?” I know they’re not questions directed towards me so I make sure not to answer, not that I could anyways. I’ve become so use to not using my voice that it actually hurts to try now. “She… she really left me.” she doesn’t bother to hold back the sob that chokes it’s way out of her and for a minute or so, she cries. Until she turns and sees me huddling in my corner, reminding her of my existence. She sniffles back her tears and her expression quickly explodes back into anger. “This is all you’re fault, none of this would have happened if you hadn’t pried your way back into her life.” I lower my head at the reminder of my misdeed but it isn’t enough for her. She hauls me up until her eyes are level with mine. They flare with more anger than I’ve ever seen in anyone before and I shrink away fearfully. “Then you drove her away and she left us both behind. You’ve ruined everything. Again.” the sting of guilt sets in with her words, but not only guilt. River did exactly what Chloe said, she left me behind. She left me with Chloe. All because I drove her away, because I’d been selfish. Now I have to go through this alone. I was abandoned because I wasn’t worthy of her attention, I wasn’t worthy of her love. “I should have just killed you.” The floor of the basement suddenly comes in contact with my back and before I know it, Chloe is hitting me. She hits with so much fury and speed that my body doesn’t even know where she’s hitting at first. The pain is delayed as it processes which parts of my body it’s supposed to be at. She only hits me in the face a few times, somehow she still has enough kindness in her to be mindful of my head injuries. I don’t deserve the kindness she’s given me over the past few months. She directs the rest of her punches to my stomach and sides, starting to sob again as the minutes pass. She goes on until she’s exhausted her fury and only overbearing sadness is left behind. She bawls up her fists as tight as possible, until her knuckles are white; and then she slams them down onto my chest. She does this two or three times before finally she stops all movement and just hovers over me, her hands clutching onto my shirt as she sobs. It pains me to see her like that, knowing that it’s all my fault. Knowing I’m the reason why she hits me. She moves off of me to sit beside me, bringing her knees to her chest as she continues to sob. I make sure to lay where she left me, not daring to get up because I know it would only make matters worse. After about ten minutes, she manages to get ahold of herself enough to leave the room and she slams the metal door shut behind her. She doesn’t come back for several hours. When she finally does come back, she isn’t crying anymore. Her cheeks are clearly stained with tears and her eyes are a terrible shade of red, but thankfully her crying has stopped. She shuts the door behind her before walking up to me with a first aid kit in her hands. She moves to sit beside me, motioning for me to sit up and only then do I move from the spot she had left me at. “I’m sorry I hurt you, I know I haven’t in a long time. I was just… upset.” She quickly starts tending to my injuries and again I start to think that I don’t deserve all the kindness she gives me. “I-it’s not your fault that… that I upset you. I’m… sorry for what I did.” I struggle to get my voice to work at the risk of her punishing me for speaking. She smiles almost affectionately at me. “I know you’re sorry… And I know I said when I first brought you here that I would never forgive you. But you know I have, don’t you? I forgave you a while ago, do you remember?” I do remember vividly the day she let me out of the basement for the first time, the day she let me see River. The day she forgave me was the day I was given the chance to be a part of their family. And once again I’ve soiled that too. “Yes…” I nod slightly, still making sure to choose my words wisely. “I really thought of us as a family. I even started to care for you, like a pet.. or even a daughter at times.” My eyes light up at that and I shift my gaze away from my hands to see her smiling. “I’ve been thinking for a few hours… I still don’t understand how you could gain my trust like that and then make River leave.” her smile quickly turns into a scowl again and my heart sinks. “Tell me what you did to make her leave.” I know as soon as she utters the order that I can’t avoid what I’ve done, I can’t go against her order. I have to tell her. “I… I told her… that I still love her. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to…” She doesn’t give me the chance to explain, her right hand comes into contact with the left side of my face with such force it knocks me back a bit. “How…” Her voice boils over with anger and she can barely contain herself long enough to continue, “… could you do something like that? Do you realize what you’ve done?” Her voice booms and I shrink back in fear as she starts to tower over me. “You confused her feelings again and you made her leave the both of us. You self centered bitch!”   ☯River☯ Everything is a blur as I run alongside Kathy, we must run at least two blocks before we slow down. We never really slow to a calm walk, we speed walk the whole way whenever she’s not making me run in fear that Chloe will somehow catch us. We never once stop and somehow I end up infront of the door to her apartment, she makes sure to hold onto my arm as she takes the keys out of her pocket and unlocks the door. She leads me inside, her grip on my arm now gentle compared to how it was when we left that damned house. After shutting and locking the door back, she leads me to the living room like a toddler. From what I can remember, this is usually when she would call out for Shay. But this time she doesn’t have to, Shay was already sitting nervously on the couch; jumping to her feet as soon as she hears us. For the first time since that last movie night so many months ago, our eyes lock. I had forgotten how caring those green eyes of hers are. The second she sees me she lets out a small gasp, “R-River?” by now I know that tone in her voice means she can’t really believe it’s me, Kathy had given me the same tone when she had first barged into the House. Kathy finally lets go of my arm, stepping back and allowing Shay to move to stand infront of me. She looks me up and down, taking in every detail just to make sure it’s really me. Before I know how to react, she’s wrapping her arms around my neck in this crushing hug; something I didn’t think the delicate girl was capable of. A small sob leaves her as she starts to let out a stream of relieved ramblings. A few minutes pass and the hug never breaks, barely even slackening. “I’m so happy to see you, I missed you and Ellie so much…” at last she pulls away and it takes me a second to distinguish this sentence from her other previous ramblings. Then she says it. “… Where’s Ellie? Oh God, River, please tell me she’s okay.” All in that moment it takes her to say that, I’m reminded of everything that happened over the past hour. I’m reminded of how I had so horribly left her behind. “I… I-I left her… I left her alone in that basement, with that monster… I left her.” suddenly those three words are the only thing that I can manage to say and as the realization hits me I find myself sobbing into Shay’s shoulder, reiterating those same three words. Chapter 25, "Choice" ᧅ Kathy ᧅ I had been so relieved to have River safely inside the apartment, that I didn’t really think of how Shay would react to seeing her. More importantly, I didn’t get the chance to tell Shay what had happened and she had unintentionally brought up River’s regret for leaving Ellie behind. Now, nearly ten minutes later, River is on the couch; still sobbing into Shay’s shoulder. Shay’s rubbing her shoulder and mumbling words of reassurance but it seems to do little to stop River’s tears. Finally, I decide that it’s time for me to step in. River and I had always gotten along so well before, I can only hope that will help me to calm her now. I move to sit on the other side of her, setting my cup of coffee on the coffee table. Shay looks over her shoulder to lock eyes with me, I can tell she’s scared; she has no idea what’s going on. “Do you think you can make her some tea? Something that’ll help her sleep, I’ll try to talk to her.” she nods in understanding when I say that and she carefully wiggles out of River’s grasp. Without Shay to cling to, her sobs seem to worsen and I pull her in for a hug in an attempt to replace her small sense of comfort. Her crying instantly seems to calm with the action and after a minute she moves to lean her head on my shoulder, staring at her hands absently. “River… You know none of this is your fault, right? You did your best to take care of her.” In the ten minutes she had been crying, she had told me everything Chloe had done to Ellie. She doesn’t say much about the things she endured to prevent Ellie from further harm, but what little details she has said leave me sick to my stomach. “I promised her I would get her out of there… I failed her.” she sniffles back another sob, covering her mouth to prevent it from seeping out. “You didn’t fail her, you will get her out. You just had to get yourself out first, you couldn’t have helped her from in there, I know you know that. Deep down.” she thinks my words over for a moment, silently contemplating it all. “I’m just so worried about what Chloe will do to her now that I’m not there… What if we don’t get to her in time?” she pulls away from my shoulder to lock eyes with me and I hold the gaze with as much intensity as she does. “You promised you would get her out and so did I. We’re not going to break those promises, she’s going to be okay. You need to trust me on that, okay?” I know trust is a big thing to ask of her right now, after what she’s been through. But I know the old River is still in there, the River I knew before all of this. That River trusted me and I know if she’s still in there, then she’ll be fine. “Okay…” She mutters quietly and I move to hug her again, she hugs back and it still seem so foreign to me. She always seemed to hate the idea of human contact, unless it was coming from Ellie, and despite my secretly affectionate nature, I never hugged people much. But yet, here we are, hugging each other like we had just lost a relative. Shay comes in with the tea and we break apart. River takes the tea gingerly, thanking her quietly. I’m not sure what she had put in the tea but within 15 minutes of drinking it, River is passed out in my lap; her legs draped over Shay’s. After she’s sound asleep, Shay motions that we need to talk in the kitchen and carefully we manage to settle the sleeping girl onto the couch. Once I’m in the kitchen, Shay starts to pace a bit and I wait patiently for her to speak. “What… What the hell happened? All that stuff she said about Ellie… is it true?” I nod my head silently at the question. I may have only gotten that quick glance at Ellie when she was at the dinner table, but I saw enough of her to know what River said was true. The poor girl has been through hell and back. “Are you sure? Did you see her? Why didn’t you get her out?” her eyes start to brim with tears at the thought of Ellie in such a terrible situation. I move to hug her, trying to ease some of her worrying. But I know it won’t do any good, none of us will be able to stop worrying until she’s safe. “There was a metal door, I couldn’t get to her. I tried to pick the lock but…” tears start to fall down my cheeks as well as hers. I start to feel like River was right, like there could have been something we could have done. Shay moves her hands up to rub my shoulder blades and it instantly calms me, just like always. “It’s okay, you tried. We should call the cops, they’ll know where to go from here.” I shake my head as much as I can manage while my nose is buried into her shoulder. I grumble my protest almost instantly, “Do you remember how long it took them to do something about your brother? Honestly, I don’t know how you have any faith in them at all, they never seem to get to anyone in time.” I can feel her whole body stiffen at the mention of her brother and I pull away to look her in the eye. It’s been two years and we still haven’t gotten over it. “I’m sorry…” I start the apology, knowing by now that I should learn to be more careful. But she cuts me off before I get the chance to really say anything. “It’s fine… My parents brought him up at dinner. It’s getting a little easier to talk about it.” She lets out a small sigh before continuing, “But that’s not the point right now, just because the cops didn’t do anything then doesn’t mean they can’t help now. It was a different situation, they didn’t have much of a choice. But if you just take them to where you found River, they can do something.” I think her words over for several minutes; trying to listen to her. I sit down at the kitchen table and run my hands through my hair, I know she’s trying to do what’s best but I still can’t bring myself to believe the cops are the best option. She moves to kneel down infront of me, placing a hand on my thigh as she watches me thoughtfully for a moment. “Relax, Kathy. It’s gonna be okay.” she wraps her arms around my neck and smiles at me encouragingly. On instinct, I move to hug her again, breathing in the sent of her that I’ve known my whole life; She’s always been my security blanket. I don’t know what I would do if I were in River’s shoes right now, when she had brought it up it sent a shiver down my spine. I couldn’t stand to see Shay in the state Ellie’s in now, I don’t know how River has stayed as strong as she has for so long. “I love you.” I pull Shay closer and nuzzle her neck, it brings me comfort knowing she’s still here in my arms. She runs a hand through my hair and kisses my collarbone lightly before replying. “I love you, too, Kathy.” I tighten my hold on her when she says that and for a few minutes we just stay like this. Until a phone erupts with noise and I’m forced to pull away. She kisses me on the cheek and smiles at me again before standing up. “I’m gonna check on River real quick, you can get the phone right?” I nod in agreement and she walks back into the living room as I stand up. I walk rather sluggishly to my cell  phone, now resting on the counter. I pick it up and answer it rather reluctantly. “Hello?” I grumble in a tone that’s anything but inviting to whoever is on the other end. “Where’s River?” the voice that reaches my ears sends this cold chill of fear down my spine. “How did you get this number?” it’s the first thing that comes out of me, but I stick with it nonetheless. She shouldn’t have our phone numbers, God, I hope she doesn’t know where we live too. “I asked you a question first. You and your stupid little girlfriend are the only ones that would bother to come after them. Where. Is. She?” the growling tone that’s now in her voice makes her voice one of the only voices that has managed to scare me this badly. But still I’ll hold my ground, I’ll keep River safe to the best of my ability. “She’s safe, she’s away from you.” Even through my fear I try to show strongness with a growl of my own. “She was safe with me, I took care of them both for months without you in the way. I want to talk to her, she needs to come back home.” “I’m not letting that happen, you’re never coming near her again.” adrenaline starts to pump through my veins, anger towards her giving me the strength to fight against her words. Shay comes back into the room, hovering near me nervously as she catches the last of my sentence. “Who is that?” she asks as soon as Chloe demands to speak to River again and I watch her eyes shift from calm into a whirlwind of panic within seconds. I hear myself making some kind of reply into the phone as I rub her arm with my free hand. After that, Chloe goes silent, thinking over the situation. “Is your girlfriend there?” She asks after a moment and even through the phone I can tell she has sinister intentions. But I reply as calmly as I can, despite what she might say. “Put me on speaker, I want to talk to both of you.” I dread what she plans on doing but I follow the order silently, allowing her to talk to the both of us. “She wanted to talk to you to.” I mutter and on instinct Shay mutters some kind of greeting in response to Chloe’s request. “Nice to hear your voice again, Milk Girl.” she manages to keep a calm tone as she utters the insulting nickname she often used on Shay when we were in school. But Shay’s way too distraught to even care about the name right now. “What do you want?” She hisses in response. “You both know what I want.” She’s quiet for a minute and I can tell she’s thinking over ways to make us bend to her will. After a minute she must come up with a plan, because she starts to speak again. “You know, I’ve been inflicting wounds on this one for hours now but she’s yet to tell me where you took River.” her plan instantly starts to have an effect on us. Shay’s expression turns to one of worry and I try to come up with something to say to help ease the burn Chloe had inflicted on her. “She doesn’t know, don’t hurt her anymore. She has nothing to do with us getting River out.” Chloe chuckles as soon as I say it, humming a second later as if she’s pondering my words. “Well in that case…” with a quiet click her voice is gone and the phone flashes the words ‘call ended’. I stare down at it with worry, trying to decide whether or not I should call back. Shay reaches for the phone, grumbling something about letting her call back. But before either of us has a chance to do anything, the phone lights up again. This time it’s a FaceTime call. I hit the accept button as soon as it shows up and Shay scoots closer as Chloe comes into view. She smiles this pure evil smile before speaking, “I just thought since she’s no use to me, you would like to see her. Maybe I can get some use out of you two then.” she gives us a chance to take in the words before the video blurs out of focus as she turns the camera. The room that they’re in is dimly lit but I can still see Ellie clearly, curled up on the floor. Chloe moves to sit beside her and the poor girl’s broken state comes into finer detail. Her nose is bleeding, along with her bottom lip, her right eye is swollen shut and a crushed and broken hand moves up to cover her other eye carefully as she adjusts to the light the phone gives off. Shay buries her face in my shoulder to prevent having to look at it and I pull her closer in a vain effort to comfort her. “You’re sick, what do you want from us?” I find myself growling in response to Chloe’s actions. She turns the camera back to herself and smiles again. “I’ll compromise with you. Get River and bring her back to me, in return I’ll give you your worthless little friend here.” She leans closer to Ellie and plays with her hair, in response she chokes back a whimper of fear. The sound breaks my heart but I can’t do what she asks of us, if we do then River will just suffer the same fate. I have to find a way to get Ellie out without risking River. “No.” I growl back instantly and Shay looks up at me with this expression on her face that I can’t read. “You’re not in the position to compromise. You give us Ellie and we won’t go to the cops.” Somehow I manage to come up with something to threaten Chloe with and her eyes spark with fury at the statement. “Go to the cops. By the time they do anything, she’ll be long dead. And you know that, don’t you?” she gives me this knowing look, like she somehow knows my history with the cops. She pulls a pocket knife from her back pocket and presses it to Ellie’s throat, making sure that we can see her draw blood. I expected her to cry out in pain but instead she utters this low whimper and I can practically hear her body giving up. The sound is a thousand times worse than I imagined a scream of pain would be to hear and instantly I look away from the phone; trying not to hear it. Shay moves back to my shoulder as the sound leaves Ellie’s lips and she starts to sob into my shirt as Chloe speaks up again. “If you’re not here with River by noon tomorrow, I will grow bored with keeping her alive and believe me; I won’t hesitate on killing her. It’s your choice. I’ll call back in an hour.” with that the screen goes black as the call is once again disconnected. I set it back on the counter and move to wrap Shay up in a tighter hug as her sobs start to increase in volume. As I do so, I notice River standing silently in the doorway, shaking like a leaf. Her body can’t even manage to produce tears anymore and it leaves her with this pained expression that I find hard to keep eye contact with. “River… Don’t listen to what she said, we’ll figure out something.” My voice startles Shay out of her daze and she looks up to follow my gaze to River. She tries to voice something to comfort her as well but before she can say anything, River is walking out. She heads straight to the door, not bothering with shoes or a jacket. It’s not like she came here with either of those things anyway. “River, where are you going?” Shay and I both follow her as she leaves and in a panic I move in front of her and slam the door back shut when she opens it. “Where do you think? She said she would let Ellie go, I have to go back.” I block her as soon as she tries to move past me, a loud “No!” leaving me in a fit of panic. She doesn’t seem to affected by it though and tries to push by me again. I grab onto her shoulders to prevent her from leaving. “I can’t let you leave. I couldn’t live with myself if I let you go back there. Please, River. You’re my best friend, I can’t lose you again because of Chloe.” her eyes soften at that and she takes in my words for a minute before stepping away from the door. “Then what else am I supposed to do?” She moves to sit on the couch again, her head falling into her hands. “I… I don’t know.” I mutter honestly, I hadn’t planned on her actually listening to me so I didn’t think that far ahead. I move to sit beside her in the center of the couch and a few minutes of silence passes. “W-what if we just do what she said?” Shay suggests after a minute and River and I both turn to look at her oddly as she moves to sit in the empty spot on the couch beside me. “The whole point of my protest was to convince River not to go back, babe.” I point out, just in case she missed it. She glares at me lightly and I go silent to let her explain herself. “I know that, I never said she had to stay. Maybe we can just take her there and when Chloe gives us Ellie, River can just come with us. It can’t be too hard to over power here right? It’s three of us and one of her.” River brightens up at the idea but I have my doubts. “She’s going to be expecting that, I’m pretty sure she knows very well she’s outnumbered.” “She won’t see it coming though, if it’s me that initiates it though. She trusts me.” River’s eyes start to light up with hope and it’s a nice sight to see her bring back a small part of herself. But not even that can convince me, every part of me is just telling me this is a bad idea. Chloe clearly has the state of mind to kill right now if she doesn’t get River back and if something went wrong with her plans, Ellie is more than likely going to be the first one to suffer; and then Shay and I. But River does have one point, of all the possible scenarios in my head; Chloe hurting River doesn’t seem to be one. But why? “River… Why does she want you back anyways?” I try to word it as carefully as I possibly can, fearing it’s something River doesn’t want to talk about. “She’s insane.” it doesn’t take River long at all to answer my question with that statement, but she hesitates on the rest of her answer. “She lives in this fantasy world… she thought I was her wife or something. That’s why she treated Ellie so badly, she thought of her as a mistress.” she pauses for a moment, as if she’s trying to forget everything she just said. She gives Shay and I a minute to process the story before looking away from her hands with that determined look still in place. “We both had to go along with it or suffer the consequence. I acted that well for months, I know I can keep up the act long enough to get Ellie out of there.” Shay reaches across me to pat River’s knee and smiles encouragingly, going along with River’s plan. After a moment of hesitation, I’m forced to go along with it too. I have a lot of faith in River’s judgement, she knows Chloe better than either of us ever will. But still, something in the back of my mind nags at me. Something bad is going to happen. Publication Date: September 28th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-ot821915a6b0345

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-s-k-nuanes-revenge-and-dresses/

S.K Nuanes Revenge and Dresses To the fans A Join I watch them slowly lower the coffin into the hole in the ground, I was shaking I had my hand over my mouth. To try and contain the sobs, although everyone there understood how I felt. Loosing someone close to you, but they didn't know the truth of his death. Jake got away with murder, everyone said he was innocent. Why did Jake have to do that? "Lucy, I think I should drive you home." Damion's grandfather looking at me, with his old grey eyes, he had on glasses, his white hair was combed back, he had on a black suit. He looked at me, I could tell Damion didn't get his looks from his grandfather, I sighed then said softly, "It's ok, I can walk home." "You sure?" He asked. I wanted to be alone, and clear my thoughts, why did he offer to drive me home? Thinking I might commit suicide on the way home? A thought that I once thought of, but then forgot when I met Damion. Now that he is gone, the thought was very comforting to my inner torture. As I walked away from the graveyard, there was a familiar car, it was Xavier. He got out of the car, and sighed looking at me. He could see the pain in my eyes, the never ending flow of tears. "Hey there." Xavier said, softly. I sighed and looked away from him, "What is it?" "I am sorry, about umm...Damion." Xavier said, sighing hating how I wasn't looking him in the eye. "Why do you care?" I snapped. Xavier then said, "Want to get back at him?" "Why would you help me?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. Then there was a slight pause then he said, "I want to get back at Jake, as well. So why not just one time. Me and you get back at that bastard?" The idea of getting back at Jake was inviting, but if i had to work with Xavier, is it really worth it? I sighed then nodded then said, "Sounds good." "Alright, so Jake is in a band right?" Xavier asked, looking at me as I fixed some lemonade. I nodded then said, "He's been stressed. If he isn't perfect or make the cut. His dreams of being famous, will be shut down." "Sabotage possibly?" Xavier said, crossing his legs and grinning at me. I looked at him, I forgot he could come up with great revenge. "Go on." Xavier shrugged then said, "It will be easy." Xavier was skilled with almost everything you could imagine. The sound check, was our target, and the audio control, if we could mess up the microphone, it will ruin the show. Can't sing without a working microphone. "Alright now he should be shifting from a chipmunk to a deep voice. Something the record company won't like." Xavier chuckled, putting his arm around me. "umm Xavier.." I said, looking down. "Sorry..." Xavier exhaled, he removed his arm, then we heard voices in the distance. The producer was coming, along with Jake and his band walked onto the stage. Me and Xavier ducked into chairs, "Alright Jake. We have to skip the sound check, the audience will be here in five." "Alright." Jake shouted. "This is going to be good." Xavier whispered into my ear. Sexy and Dangerous I never been much of a revenge person, but sometimes its to much, I didn't even want to be in the same state as Jake, but if we wanted the plan to go successfully I had to act, like I was fine. Or didn't hate Jake with all my guts. Jake came over to me as I was working on some sketches for Ceramics. "Hey, how are you doing." Jake asked, taking a seat next to me. I shrugged and used a gentle sweet voice, "Oh, I guess I am fine. I don't know what to do." "How about you come to see me and my band perform?" Jake said, hugging me from the side. Could we possibly sabotage his performance, I had forgotten this would be one of the most important performances ever. Xavier would love to start with ruining his career. "Sure, that sounds great." I said, with a smile. Jake smiled back at me then said, "Awesome. Let's hope I get a record deal." "Oh you will get one." I said, nodding in agreement, a criminal record.... "So, if this performance is awful. He doesn't get anything but crap thrown at him, and he works in the fast food. Hmm I think we found our first stage or revenge baby." Xavier said, with a grin on as he looked at me. Wait...did he just say what I think he said!? MORE COMING SOON Publication Date: May 6th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-sweetmassacre19

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-suliman-ahmed-the-war-chest/

suliman ahmed The War Chest My name is John Sunbird This is the story of how i was murdered................. 1913 October - London I lived in a giant house full of secrets, this was owned by my mother and father. When my parents mysteriously died my aunt got divorced. my uncle and grand mum kept the house my aunt disappeared, i don't even know if she is still alive. my family still owns a mysterious treasury hidden only when one of the Sunbird's finish there test then they will find the place. it was a cold,dark and wet Wednesday. i was at the church sleeping when my friend Tony came and waked me up and i went to Tony's house to eat something, people might think that living in a big house would be heaven but trust me my house is not, because my uncle and grand mum beat me up if i didn't do as i was told. They told me to join the army and defeat the Germans but i refused so they beated me with a cane and i was bleeding, screaming in agony once they stop i ran as fast as i can. the neighbors usually complained then my uncle bribed them to go and find another house. 1913 November -London- my house i was beated up on Saturday so i ran to the church sneaking through the streets i was lucky nobody noticed because if they did i'll lose everything. in the church the priest cleaned my wounds complaining that i might lose a lot of blood if it did not get treated in a hospital but the priest could not take me so i went to Tony's house, my heart was beating rapidly as i approached Tony's house. I asked tony's mum that can she take me to the hospital she is a kind hearted person so she let me come then the doctors gave an injection that after i fell in to a deep sleep and could not feel a thing so they did everything they could but one of my bones were bent in my arm as i used it to cover myself when i was beated, the doctor left it in but with support so my arm wouldn't break. 1913 December -London My uncle found out where i used to sleep when i ran out of home, on a Saturday the priest was talking about sacrifice that day my uncle was there the priest knew he was there but i didn't so when i was talking to the priest about what will happen the next time he will go home he might be murdered. Know i wanted to go to the war then my uncle spoke i was horrified he said "John you will no longer come here for safety!" he shouted at the top of his voice terrifying all the people coming in he grabbed me by my hand and squeezed it and pulled me to the house my uncle kept on beating me until he was hungry, he threw the cane to the other side of the house then told me to clean myself up then come for dinner. - 6 days later_ My uncle wrote complain about the priest kidnapping me the police did not believe this so they asked for some witnesses than my wicked uncle gave one million pounds to them so they arrested the priest and the church land was now owned by my uncle. Tony's mother sent tony to the army when my uncle made her tell him by only saying good things she believed in my uncle only because he said "Your son will look after this country and save the world from this plague" very calmly after he started to cry. he says to Tony's mother that she should be proud of him. The end of December i ran and joined the army because at home there was no one left my friend joined the army and the priest was arrested no one could look after me. I heard a loud bang and i saw two tanks firing at the Germans i ran for my life as i could been shot down thinking i was one of the Germans so i ran inside a tall strong man pulled me grabbing my shirt so i stopped he asked me what and who was i, it was shocking but i just said that i want to join the army they asked me a couple of questions then gave me a uniform to put on go to sleep and wake up in the morning to get training but the morning something else was coming new year. 1914 January-June i was doing training for 6 months in a secret place today i have finished my training and now looking for Tony in the battle field. i was attacked by German troops on the front we have lost 79 men since morning i think i have seen a German in the trenches by the end of that day i found and shot him. At night i got some mail from the priest and my uncle , the letter from the priest said that he was going to get hung today which made me thought that all this time i have been destroying lives for my uncle to the priest. my uncles letter had a surprise for me it said "Hello dear john this was the test the test of our ancestors the competition between religions the battle for life the great treasure was life.. yours sincerely uncle Sunbird. this message is that life is not fair. Then my life flashed before my eyes and as i walked out i was shot in the head by my aunt. Now i know why she was crazy and did not want to pass the test so she tried to pass the test by sacrificing so they will not come for her. Publication Date: March 6th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-hello7861

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-tracey-green-alexus-and-the-big-black-cat/

Tracey Green Alexus and the Big Black Cat I'm Sorry about your Parrot I was walking to the ugly yellow apartment were I lived, and I snuck into the building going to the pretty much empty lobby. Where I met the person I was trying to avoid Antonio, he wanted me to get rid of my beloved cat Pancho. "When are you getting rid of that ugly fat cat." "Cuando tu pinche puto va intenderas que tu no puedes decicir nada cuando tu tienes la mas feo cara en el mundo." "What? Say that in English." "HEHEHEHE, and you call yourself a Mexican. Oh well it means that when will you understand that you can't tell me what to do since you have the ugliest face in the world... talk about my cat again and I will pimp slap you." "Awwwww, really princess you know you want me." "You better not say that again or I'll tell Ivan to jump you again." "Pish Posh" "Wow, you sound so white right now." "Don't say that." "Awwww did I hurt feeling poor loser who has no social life." "I do to." "Being in the chess club doesn't count as a sport you know" I walked to my room petted Pancho that is when I noticed the very dead parrot on the floor. "Bad Pancho" I said that because there was only one person in this apartment complex with a Parrot evil Miss Jones. "I know that your stupid fat cat killed my bird, I've called animal control and they are going to put that horrendous creature down...Mwaahahahahahah." "No please pancho is the only thing have left of my parents she was there cat." "Then you should of taken better care of that ugly cat. Alexus and Friends to the rescue This was not going to happen i thought to myself i need to email my posse, so i go to my ancient computer and message my friends telling them what happened. When they messaged back saying they're coming over star thinking of a plan.... Then it came to me we are going to have to break in the Pound and get Pancho out of there and let my distant cousin who is coming to visit tomorrow and take me with him to L.A. "Hey Phillipe I need your help my friends and i are breaking Pancho out of the Pound and i need to take him with us." "Sure." Then I call John he was an expert in breaking into banks and he owes me for not ratting him out. "Hey John come to my place we need to talk" "Isn't that what you say to someone your breaking up with, i don't remember asking you out." "I'm series they're going to put Pancho down for eating a parrot, i need your help you owe me." "Fine I'll go break out your cat be up at 10:50 to let me in your house," "Don't you think that you should come and plan it out." "If you must know I was already planning to break in." "Why????" "A lot of people are paying me money to get animals." "Ten dollars a piece and i have list of fifteen animals to get." "K" At ten-fifty exactly John brought Pancho. "Don't tell people about this, it's bad for my image. "Fine." "So how are things with Ivan?" "Ummmm, we weren't together i was just trying to get you jealous." "Well it worked" then he kissed me like we were never going to see each other again. "This won't work I'm a criminal you would never live honestly, leave this neighborhood before it changes and corrupts you." "Okay, if I can have another kiss." He brings me kissing me so passionately I'm out of breath, when I look up he is gone. Text: me Images: me Editing: Kristina Translation: Kistina All rights reserved. Publication Date: October 9th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-tmarshy

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-micaela-carter-edification-of-black/

Micaela Carter Edification of Black Painting pictures of this background... Colors of emotions transfer onto me Brick upon brick built up into the heavens High windows with dinged paint The smell of the sick permeates the air And the people within this fortress hug it to themselves As if their very existence depends upon that fume I see the masks and the scrubs The saline bags, blood bags and morphine laced ones I sit in this wake...a blood transfusion my downfall Her story begins where mine ends Tender kicks against my rib cage Lets me know she strives She grows...healthy Beating heart...strong In this place where sickiness thrives Where death is an imprint in my veins And Dr. Allison L. McCoy revived me She said...she gave me back life So that I could give life...she said It's the middle of 1983; October...tainted blood pumps through me I rock with my little one in the chair beside the window Touching my plump belly and humming a song That has no words just a strum of chords that plays in my head As I look up at the sky it parts giving way to rain And I remember the night before when I sat looking up Up into the night...as God cleansed the earth I rewind time in my mind... And I can see it so clearly as if I was still there... Colors of emotions transfer onto me I sat on a bench in Central Park leaning back into the wood With trembling hands reaching up toward the sky Trying to reach past the clouds and soar into the heavens The night opened up to give way to that precious saltiness And it scored my face as if stoning me...pelting me And I continued to sit arms spread wide, head up and mouth open I closed my eyes and I could feel every touch, smell every scent And me...I was everywhere in the air He had given me this gift...this creation To give the world and in return He cleansed me of all my filth Or so I assumed... I was stabbed...lights flashing...ambulance Red...blue...sirens sounding Specks of black; uniforms; golden badges, cops...a flash light The chink and click of hand cuffs "Freeze" I heard someone fall to the cement And I felt no other feeling but cold I felt cold all over like it lived inside my very being Welcome to my cement jungle... "Save her" I whispered as repeated pumps were done on my chest The rain covered me like a warm blanket And the night sang me into a slumber I closed my eyes... Then I awoke...renewed and regenerated With a strength I never felt To the buzzing and hums of the machines Attached to my chest and stomach...my stomach? An IV placed in my arm and a bag hanging from a steel pole Full of a clear liquid I could not quite identify With a name on it that was still too blurred for me to see The lights grew brighter in the room making me squint A light is flashed into my eyes...my pupils dilate The pen light is piercing, tears gleam in my eyes "Miss Harvard can you hear me? Blink your eyes if you can" I blinked once...then twice...and I felt my chest cave in "Miss Harvard stay with me. It's just me touching the stitches" Her voice sounds melodic like some foreign instrument She is singing to me and I feel the weight lifted Or is it her voice that strums inside my head like a song "Breathe Miss Harvard. Take your time. Easy. Easy" I felt cold all over like it lived inside my very being I hear her rapid jingles as she shifts through her pockets I hear change clanking between her fingers I feel her watching me as if I am being summed up I wonder what she sees... She takes in a deep breath...I feel the bad news coming My lips peel apart, "My baby" "Miss Harvard, your child is fine." And a shaky breath escapes her "Marie, may I call you Marie?" I blink twice, "Okay good." I hear bells ringing in my head "I don't know how to tell you this...I will leave you with this recording and let you make your draw your own conclusion..." I hear a door open in the distance and then a tape recorder begins I close my eyes and listen A voice starts tentatively...like a movie theatre The narrator starts off in a solemn voice March 4. Scientists still not know how AIDS is transmitted "Recently "11 cases of unexplained, life-threatening opportunistic infections and cellular immune deficiency have been diagnosed in patients with hemophilia. Available data suggest that the severe disorder of immune regulation underlying AIDS is caused by a transmissible agent." June. California-Nevada Annual Conference sends a petition"Acquired Immuno Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS)" to the 1984 General Conference. Rocky Mountain Annual Conference adopts "Resolution on Health and Human Welfare (AIDS Epidemic)" More... July 1. The United Methodist Reporter publishes "Fatal Illness Strikes UM Layman: Church's Ministry Emphasizes 'Sacred Worth' of Homosexuals," by John A. Lovelace, who closes his article with the following reflection: "I left Charles Bergner's hospital room impressed that he is doing his part to make public information available about AIDS... I also felt that he is a young man looking realistically at his short life and how little may remain of it, aware that he has been stricken by a disease linked with a form of behaviour his church disapproves of. But, I felt, too, that Charles knows that the church, like God, has not withdrawn its compassion and knows that the healing grace of God is available to him no less than to any other person because he is, indeed, of sacred worth..." I hear the tape continue to drone on but I can't hear it I can't hear anything anymore except the rapid beeping The beeping surrounds me and I can't breathe I can't see...my senses are lit up light Christmas trees Before the winter snow... I feel the cold again and I reach up toward the heavens He gave me this gift...this creation To give the world and in return He cleansed me of all my filth Or so I assumed... I thrashed, screamed and tried to pull myself from the bed I could not move; straps held me immobile God...help me... I'm dying Painting pictures of this background... Brick upon brick built up into the heavens High windows with dinged paint The smell of the sick permeates the air And the people within this fortress hug it to themselves As if their very existence depends upon that fume I see the masks and the scrubs The saline bags, blood bags and morphine laced ones I sit in this wake...a blood transfusion my downfall I hear my sweet ones heart beat upon the monitor I feel her gentle kicks to my ribs Feel her moving inside of me Her story begins where mine ends She is my claim to life and I refuse to give her up To death... Breathing in black is not an option Colors of emotions transfer onto me Beautiful paints... I am HIV positive.... Publication Date: March 17th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-mcarter621

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-jamie-caylor-vampire-origin-039-s/

Jamie Caylor Vampire Origin's INCOMPLETE Chapter 1: The Malissa Awakens                 Chapter 1: The Malissa Awakens Monk Zachary  We knew the vampires were among us again when people startes disappearing and turned up days later with their throats ripped out and drained of blood. All the monks and I were called to the monasaries main chapel by the Abbott to discuss what we would do. "Thank you for coming to this meeting.” the Abbott says. "There have been many disappearances and murders lately. There have been rumors that the vampires are stirring again and that the peace treaty we wrote up long ago is no longer in use. This is true; the vampires want to be in control again and are tired of blending in. The time to act is now, we must wake up Lady Malissa or we will become the vampire’s toys once again." "Is it a good idea to wake her Abbott? After all she is a vampire also even if she doesn't feed of humans.” asked one of the novice monks. "She is the only one who can get the vampires to stop killing and multiplying. She will not harm us; she will get the vampires to live in peace with us once again. Brother Zachary has something’s to warn you about Malissa.” the Abbott said. I walked up to the platform and told everyone the rules. "There are some rules that will be put into place while Lady Malissa is here. First of all you cannot do anything to upset her, she is nice to everyone as long as they are not a threat and don't disrespect her. Do not attempt to harm her in any way. It will not harm her but will annoy her or even get her mad, stay on her good side and everything will be fine." "We will meet here tomorrow at four in the afternoon to perform the awakening. Any who wish to come May if you would prefer to stay away you may. Goodnight everyone.” The Abbot said, then he turned and went to his chambers. Five minutes of talking later and everyone else followed.    The next day went by like it normally would with everyone doing what they normally would. Twenty minutes to four everyone gathered in the monasaries main chapel once again. The Abbot was there and walked to the back wall and put his hand on the scanner that can only be used by the current Abbott. The floor separated and two glass casket's rose out of it, one was black and red, the other was brown. Everyone around me watched in silence as the Abbott opened the red and black casket revealing Lady Malissa. She was beautiful, she had black hair with red streaks, her skin was a pale white, and she wore a red halter top half shirt, black jeans, and one-inch black heals. The Abbott pulled a small knife out of his robe's pocket and cut his wrist. He then put it up to Lady Malissa's mouth so it dropped into it, then he stepped back. The room was silent and then Lady Malissa's eyes opened. She got up and walked to the brown casket and opened it to reveal a girl of about fourteen with brown hair and she was wearing blue jeans and a brown T-shirt. Lady Malissa opened her mouth and her fangs descended. She scrapped her fangs against her wrist and put it over the little girl’s mouth. Her eyes opened, she got up, curtsied, and said "Lady Malissa I await your orders." Malissa smiled and said, “Annette, We need to find the location of the cities vampire coven. Then we will give them a choice join us or die." Annette nodded, "As you wish milady."            Chapter 2: The Coven's Malissa Annette and I walked through the monk's as they parted to let us through. Us being awakened could only mean one thing, the vampires were breaking vampire law once again and I had to stop it. Monk Zachary was to come with us as our guide and would update us on what we missed while we slept. We got a room in a hotel three blocks from the monastery. "Annette do you think you can find out where the coven is located?" She nodded," I will find a member of it and bring them to you Milady." Two hours later Annette walked in with a fledgling vampire. "His name is Mark, he told me the location of the coven it turns out it's a club and they feed on the humans who get drunk. He has agreed to join us and take us there.” Annette said. I smiled, "Very good Annette I knew I could count on you. Let’s go we leave at once and Mark if you join us you can be my new bodyguard. Do you accept?" He bowed and said, “Yes I’ll do my best milady", we left the hotel that very night and drove the thirteen blocks to the club. When we got there we saw a humongous line. "It's hard to get in unless your VIP. The VIP entrance is that way and only one of our kind can get in.", Mark told us. "Let's go in.", I said with a smile.    We walked to the VIP entrance and were let into the club. "We need to clear the humans out so I can have a talk with the owners. Make up something to get the humans to stay and leave the rest to me.", I told them. "Yes milady."  True to their word they got all the humans to leave in five minutes flat. We were surrounded in seconds by the angry vampires who owned the club. “Who are you and why did you do that?” a girl asked. "My name is Malissa and I am the last of the first vampires. You all have been killing and changing hundreds of humans and have broken the vampire law. I have been asleep and unable to uphold the law for a while, but that doesn't mean you can take advantage of it. If you don't stop I will have no choice but to kill you all as punishment." The Coven's leader laughed which wasn't smart at all and said, “You think you can come into my coven say you’re the last original and threaten me! You need to learn a lesson and I’m going to be your teacher." He came at me, but didn't make it very far. Mark and Annette stepped in front of me and set him and burned him with a torch. As his scream's faded away the other vampire's from his covin charged. Two were smart enough to surrender and joined us, doubling the number of bodyguards I had. "What are your names?” I asked. The Woman stepped forward," I'm Jasmine I’ve been a vampire for 30 years and was changed at the age of 30." The man stepped forward, “I’m Izaah, and I’ve been a vampire for 12 years and was changed at the age of 32." "Where is the most powerful vampire coven located in the world? The ones who all vampires are afraid of and obey with no question?” I asked the new members of my coven. "In Rome at Rosewood castle. It had belonged to the royal families before the coven took over and killed the family.” Jasmine said. "Who is the head of that coven?" I asked. "The coven has three heads; they are brothers and over five hundred years old. They are very powerful and everyone in their coven is extremely powerful. Domanic is the oldest and was changed at seventeen. He can control peoples mind and cause them to hallucinate. Domanic is also the Hadden coven’s leader. Griffin is the second oldest and was changed at fifteen. He can control fire without touching it and is second in charge. Jacob is the youngest and was changes at thirteen. He can influence people's and vampires emotions.” Isaiah said. I smiled, "What do you say we go pay them a visit." We then started the long trip to Rome and took care of all vampires who wouldn't follow vampire law and stop killing Humans. During the trip Annette and Mark became closer and decided to become mates. When we got to Rome we rented a hotel and decided how we would stop the humans from dyeing. It was three o'clock in the afternoon when we arrived in Rome. It was decided we would have Annette and Mark join the coven as a mated pair and get some inside information about it.           Chapter 3: Annette’s Adventure in Rom Annette   I had my orders to get into the Rome coven and find out what they were up to. The three leaders were said to be the most powerful and oldest vampires of the modern age. That would change now that Lady Malissa was back because she is an original making her the most powerful vampire that ever existed. Me and Mark walked to the Castel Sant' Angelo castle where the Roman coven was at. We walked in and looked at the portraits in the front hall. Women came up to me and said, “Who are you and what are you doing here?"  "We have come to talk to Lord Domanic, Lord Griffin, and Lord Jacob.", I said. She told us to wait and she would be back momentarily. She turned and disappeared down the dark hall.  Five minytes later she came back with a woman. " Hello, my name is Brad. I am to take you to Lord Domanic. Any weapons you have we ask that you leave here. Publication Date: December 12th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-xrfed8dcfc42825

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-gabriel-abel-betrayed/

Gabriel Abel Betrayed Forbiden Love New Girl  It was December 10, 2013 and it was a bright day Tokyo, Japan.  It was the first day of school for a girl named Urza. She had just transferd to a private school in Tokyo she used to live in china, but her parents felt it was time for a change. The minute Urza walked through the classroom the pairs of eyes from fithteen and sixteen yearolds beated down on her. As the stared at here with cold eyes she walked to her seat she knew she was hated. But then those same cold beaty eyes turned into gazes of affection they had all fell for Urza. Urza was confused why did they like her every other guy hated her guts they thought she was ugly and that she was a loner.  You see Urza wasn't the social type she kept to herself and never talked much.   The incident   The next day she realized that there were stil boys that didn't like her she still got the  same cold beaty eyes. Urza still felt hated. She walked across the classroom then BAM!!  She had fell on one of the boys that hated lee her,but then she realized they've been kissing the entire time.  She blushed then ran out of the room Emberessed, Face as red as a tomato and crying. "URRZZAA WAIT!" yelled Lee He chased after her but slipped on her many tears.  He got back up and continued running, but Urza gets away and hides in the bathroom.  Lee can't go in so he waits outside.  Soon after a girl named kari walks in. "First kiss hah" said kari Urza replies yes. Kari starts to tell Urza how much of a jerk Lee is and that he breaks girls hearts and Urza soons hate Lee.  They walk out the bathroom together Lee tries to confront Urza but she ignores him.  Lee feels somthing wierd with this girl he knows he' in love.   Love attempts For the next couple of days Lee tried to get close to Urza, but Kari wouldnt let that happen.  Kari filled Urza's head with all these lies and romurs.  Now Urza wanted nothing to do with Lee he was now completely dead to her.  Lee was in a slump he did not know what to do he just had to get to Know Urza.  Lee finally caught up her alone and ran up to her.  He began to talk but was silenced by fast clampimg heels just then SMACK!! It was Kari. "You pervy jerk", Kari shouted. Lee face was burning like the sun he had now had a hand print on his left cheek.  Kari grabbed Urza and the ran to their class.  As you see things with Urza and lee weren't going well.  Urza asked kari why she slapped him and she replied "He's a per I wasnt gonna let him make a moe on you duhh.", she said while gasping for breath tiered from running. Lee was furious He was so mad he almost punched Kari.  He wasn't getting any were with Urza as long as Kari was in the way.  He had never had to do this with any girl he did not no what to do, but he wasnt about to quit he was determined to be with her. True Lover or True Player The next day was a miricale Kari wasnt thier so Lee made his move now he goes out with Urza.             Th end Publication Date: December 29th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-dr05e287429fb25

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-phoebe-weaver-homecoming/

Phoebe Weaver HomeComing Chapter 1 First off I have to say homecoming week is the worst time off the year! I am Julie Clark and I’m in 10thgrade. I go to school at Victor Valley High school, we are the fighting Jackrabbits. Enough about my lame school. Back to my point about how homecoming stinks. First of all every one is running around looking for the perfect pair of shoes, the right dress, and lord help them to find the way to do their hair without it making their heads look bigger than they already are. But the thing I hate most about homecoming is that the prissy little witch, Kelley Crain, is the homecoming queen every year. I don’t understand why people even vote for her. She is rude to everyone who isn't a cheerleader, a jock, or an important staff member at Victor Valley High School. Kelley makes fun of people, Bosses them around, starts rumors about them or is just plain out rude to them. Kelley can get any thing she wants. If she wants a better grade on a report or more time for a project all she has to do is ask the teachers and they always say “Well since you were busy this week we will give you extra time. Just come work on it when you are available.” Then if she wants the new Gucci bag or Coach Shoes all she has to do is ask her dad and he will give her the money to buy it. In other words she is a spoiled brat. People use to look up to her. She was the sweet cheer caption that everyone loved. I use to be her best friend, we told each other everything. I know things about her that no one else knows. Then she started getting full of herself. She figured out that if she wanted something all she had to do was wave her perfect manicured hands and she would get it. That’s when she became how she is. Then there are Katrina and Kay lee, her clones, they do what ever she does when she does it, they are the most annoying girls in the whole school besides Kelly. If Kelley gets a haircut then the clones get the exact same one. If Kelley gets an Italian boyfriend then that’s the only type of guy that the clones will date. It is so annoying and sickening at the same time. Then there are the gods of the school. Also known as Drake, Justin, Kevin, Jacob. They’re the cutest most popular guys in the 10th grade. Drake is Italian, Justin is American, Kevin is British, Jacob is country, and they all have long skater hair except Jacob. Kelley’s posse and the Gods rule the school. But Kelly wont rule homecoming anymore. My best friend, Maddi, and I Plan to get a new homecoming queen. We will succeed I just know it. Chapter 2 “Are you exited to go to school tomorrow or what?!” Maddi practically yelled into the phone. “Calm down Maddi. What are you so exited about anyway, its just school.” I said in a hushed tone so I wouldn’t wake my Aunt and Uncle. “Oh my gosh you don’t even remember? Tomorrow we start making our battle plan.” She said. “Oh ya. Mission Homecoming.” I whispered. “Why do you hate Kelley so much any way? I don’t care I'm just wondering, you know.” Maddi asked in a voice that meant she cared. “She just gets every thing she wants when she wants it and thinks she is the princess of the world and she is not!” I practically screamed into the phone. “I’m sorry I asked, and you tell me to calm down. I’m really sorry, but your little hissy fit just woke up my parents so I have to go to bed. Meet me at my locker tomorrow at 6:00 AM and we will discuss or plan, bye.” Maddi whispered. Then the line went silent. After Maddi had to go to bed that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about how on earth we were going to pull this off. I was also thinking about my real parents. Thinking about why they didn’t take me to Africa with them. Why they left me with my Aunt and Uncle. They could have taken me with them; they didn’t have to leave me here. They could at least call me every once in a while, but all they do is send me post cards. They tell me that they miss their little short haired brunet with green eyes. They sent a birthday and Christmas card, that’s all I ever hear from them. I finally fell asleep that night, but shortly afterwards I woke up because I could have sworn I heard their voices. I thought to my self "Your just hearing stuff. Your tired go to bed." so I lay in bed trying to fall back asleep. I laid in bed for an hour and a half and I was still hearing the voices. I thought to my self “it wont hurt to sneak down stairs and check." I snuck down the laundry chute, like I’d done a million times before, to see if there was actually someone at the house or if I was just going insane. I crawled out of the laundry chute and to the top of the stairs at the basement and looked around the corner. “Mom "Daddy, is that you?” I yelled, completely blowing my cover. "Sweetie! Come give your old man a hug!" I darted to my Daddy. He kissed my forehead, picked me up and swung me around. "Daddy I missed you so much! Why are you here? Did something happen? Did you see a whole bunch of animals? Were the people nice? Are ya'll ok? Why didn’t ya'll wake me up? When did you come back? Did-" “Listen Jelly Bean, it’s late and you have school tomorrow. I will come up in a minute to tuck you in." Before I headed up Mom told me “I love you, and I missed you. Goodnight” I went up to my room and lay in bed. Daddy came up about five minutes later. “I missed you, Jellybean." Then he leaned over me and kissed my forehead, "North", my chin "South", my right cheek, "East", and then my left cheek "West”,” I Love you al over the map." He whispered. He uses to do this when he left or came back from a long trip. I tried to fall asleep that night but I couldn’t stop thinking about my parents. About what they weren’t telling me. I hated it when they didn’t tell me things. But my Dad was upset I could tell in the look of his beautiful green eyes. He wanted to tell me but mom gave him the look, the look that told him to keep his mouth shut so like always he did. Project Homecoming was going to have to be put on hold, this was more important. I was going to get to the bottom of this. I had to get to the bottom of this. Chapter 3 "Jellybean, Wake up. You're going to be late for school. Come on sleepy head you have to get up," Daddy insisted. My eyes shot open faster than lightning striking. "Daddy your really here, it wasn't just a dream! Oh Daddy I missed you so much," I cried. "I missed you to but if you don't hurry you're going to be late for school. Come on get a move on it!" Dad said before he strutted out of the room with a playful swagger. I threw on some sweats, grabbed a piece of toast and sprinted out of the door. I got to my locker right as the warning bell rang indicating that I had one minute to get from my locker to my first period class. "You're late again, Ms.Clark. Well have a seat and you can stay after class and give me your excuse for disrupting my class." Mrs.Merfeld scolded. Mrs.Merfeld is the strictest, rudest, most arrogant math teacher at Victor Valley, and of course, I got to start my day off with her. I was too distracted thinking about my parents being back to pay any attention during class. "Class Dismissed except for you Ms.Clark." Mrs.Merfeld announced. Everybody scrambled out of the classroom leaving me waiting for my lecture. "Why are you late this time?" she barked. "The truth is that last night my parents came home from Africa, and this morning we were talking and I lost track of the time. May I go because I'm going to be late for my next class?" I asked. "Leave, but you better not be late again!" Mrs. Medfield warned. I ran out of the room faster than a spider monkey on a sugar rush. The rest of my classes leading up to lunch seemed to go by super fast. I got out of my fourth period class and walked to the lunch room. Not even seconds after I sat down Maddi showed up and asked, "Where were you this morning? I got here at 6:00 so we could talk about our plan. You caused me to have to make up some excuse for having to get here at the crack of dawn and then you weren't even here. You better have an explanation for this!" Maddi barked as if she was one of those annoying little Chihuahua's I grabbed Maddi’s hand and pulled her into the restroom. I looked under all of the stalls before I whispered," Maddi my parents came home last night! My dad wants to tell me why they're here, but my mom won't let him. I'm sorry but we will have to forget about Mission Homecoming for a while, until I figure out what they're not telling me. This is important you wouldn't understand. I'm going to go eat my lunch. Bye." Then I stormed out! Maddi never came back to the lunch table. The rest of the day blew by and before I knew it I was on sitting on bus 146 waiting to go home. Everyone else filled in the seats and started to chat. "Where was Maddi? Did I upset her? I didn't mean to, I was just upset and she just kept on barking. What have I done?" I thought to myself. I was leaning against the window thinking about everything that had happened when I felt someone nudge me. My eyes shot open, "Maddi, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to ditch you this morning or upset you when I was talking to you at lunch I'm just trying figure out every thing that's happening I really don't to lose you oh I'm So sorry please forgive me." I pleaded. "Calm down. I'm not mad or upset I just thought you might want some space so I left. Let’s forget about Mission Homecoming and figure out what your dad and mom are doing here. Okay?" Maddi replied. “Thank you so much I will text you, Bye." I yelled as I got off the bus. I started to walk to my house when my phone buzzed. "Who is texting?" I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked at the number thinking it was maddi, but it wasn't. Chapter4 832-527-0002: Hey! Me: Who is this?!? 832-527-0002: Jacob :) Me: JACOB? AS IN THE GOD OF OUR SCHOOL JACOB? How did you get my number??? 832-527-0002: Yep that Jacob but I'm just like anyone else I'm not a god, and a piece of paper was by my locker with your number on it. I like your handwriting it’s pretty cute. Me:Oh my gosh! Jacob just said MY handwriting was CUTE!!! I am TEXTING JACOB!!! Me: Oh thanks I hate it:| so why are youtexting me? Imp not trying be rude but guys like you don't text girls like me. 832-527-0002: So your saying guys like me don't text sweet, smart, cute, girls? And Imp not like Kelley and her retarded clones. But if you don’t want me to text you then I guess I won’t :( me: Nooooooo don’t leave I like talking to you. Do you really think imp sweet and smart? 832-527-0002: Yea and don't forget cute ;) me: No ones ever complimented me :) thanks 832-527-0002: No problem :) so whets up? Me: I just got off the bus and imp walking to my house :) 832-527-0002: Really? That’s kewl. Me:Yep what about you? 832-527-0002: Imp unpacking my stuff at my new house:| I don’t know anyone on this streetmaby I just haven’t seen anyone yet: me: Yea hopefully :) where did you move to? 832-527-0002: Um I moved into 2931bakersfield rd. me: R U SERIOUS!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!? 832-527-0002: Ya why? Me: I Live RIGHT across from you! Finally some one I know lives on this stupid street. 832-527-0002: That’s awesome :) I guess we will get to know each other better :) want to hang outtommorow? JACOB WAS ASKING ME TO HANG OUT! HE LIVES ACROSS THE STREET FROM ME!!!!!!!! Me: Ya that'd be kewl 832-527-0002: awesome well I G2G bye :) >>>//Me: Bye :) >>>When I got home I climbed on to my roof and just laid there thinking. I sat up like speedygonzalus; I looked across the street and saw someone looking through the front window. They were looking at me. "OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!" That wasn't just one of the old neighbors that were JACOB! When he realized I saw him he looked away quickly. I jumped down off the roof and walked inside. >>> * >>>"Hello Jellybean, How was school today?" Daddy asked. >>>" Well I was late to Mrs.Merfields class again and she gave me a stupid lecture and said next time I'm late I'm going To get sent to the office." I replied. “Well then I guess you shouldn't be late again. Please do your homework." >>>"I already did it during study hall and where is mom?" >>>"She went to talk to the people across the street. She baked them a cake." >>>"NOOOOO" >>>I sprinted across the street just in time for the door to open as my mom was walking out. >>>"Oh crap, Mom did you give them one of your toxic cakes?" >>>"There not toxic" >>>I knocked on the door twice before Jacob opened it. >>>" So know your following me?" He asked. >>>" No, but I came to warn you about my moms cake. It will taste terrible she sucks at cooking and baking." "Ha okay, Thanks for the warning." "okay, ya, bye." "Oh, Julie?" " Yea?" "I'll drive you to school tomorrow. 7:00?" " Sounds great." "Bye" Jacob just asked me to ride with him to school! Well he kind of demanded it but anyway he wanted ME to ride with him in his CAR!!! I walked back across the street into my house. I ran up the stairs and into my room then grabbed my bathrobe and headed for the shower. >>>"Hurry up its dinner time. You have been in their over an hour." Daddy yelled up the stairs. Slipped into my bathrobe then ran down the stairs and started to set the table. " Whets for dinner?" I asked Uncle Bob. "Poooooooottttttroooooooaaaaasttttt." he sung. >>>"yea!" >>>We sat down and said the blessing then started to eat. Dinner was quiet. No one said anything, but the whole time my mom and dad kept giving each other secretive looks. But I had too much to worry about on my own. How am I going to where my hair tomorrow, Straight or curly? Did I have time to bleach my teeth? Should I wear eyeliner or go for a more natural look? What should I wear? I could wear my coral dress with my wedges, but would that be too much? Or I could wear skinny jeans and that lacy black shirt with flats. Oh there is too much to decide! I quickly finished my dinner and politely asked to be excused. I sprinted up the stairs. I dramatically flung open the doors of my closet and started flinging my clothes until I found the perfect Spring Green dress to complement my eyes.” One thing down a million to go." I walked to my bath room and put on whitening strips and a facial mask so in the morning I would look " As Beautiful as a flower in the middle of spring!" Next was shoes. I went to look at my shoes. Flip-flops were out, High-heeled boots were too much, "Perfect" a pair of Wedges the same color as the dress." Okay I have my clothes shoes makeup and hairstyle picked out. I set my alarm already now I need to get my beauty sleep." I said to myself. I turned my light off and lay in bed until I drifted to sleep. My alarm went off just as planned. I woke up and started my daily schedule. I put on shorts and a sports bra then I went down the stairs to eat breakfast. I was the only one up so I poured myself a bowl of cheerios. Next I tied my running shoes and went outside for my morning jog. The nationhood look the same as usual as a ran by at 5:15. When I turned around to head home I saw someone running behind me which was odd because I had never seen anyone running in the nationhood before. I turned down my music and slowed down to a jog. The person caught up to me and stopped me.” Oh hey Jacob.” “Hey, I didn’t know you worked out. Are you a gymnast?” Jacob said never taking his eyes off me. “How did you know that well I took a break this last year?” “Well with a body like that you’re a gymnast or a cheerleader and I figured you would never be on the same squad as Kelley. Well I didn’t mean to interrupt you jog. See you in a couple hours.” He said as he smiled before he jogged off. Well right now you’re probably thinking, “Why hasn’t she mentioned being a gymnast?” But I haven’t mentioned it because some people find it lame. But now I will quickly tell you about my gymnast past. I have done gymnastics since I was about 5. Last year I went to nationals for floor and uneven bars. During my bar routine things took a turn for the worst. I fell and got hurt pretty bad. I was put in an ambulance and that’s all I remember from that week. I just finished recovering so imp going to take a break. Now 6that I filled you in I can get back to the story. Well I jogged home... Publication Date: November 14th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-ilovetowrite22

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-haley-arii-the-king-pin-039-s-princess/

Haley Arii, Kamry Tero The King Pin's Princess Chapter One First off yes I am a princess, my dad Jayceon is the king pin. Your probably wondering what a king pin is,well its the boss of the drug slanging business. He's King of the the business and the city of Chicago,so nobody really messed with me in fear of my daddy. I know your probably wondering about my mama, well she left when I was two. Her and my pops were on the brink of a divorce,because she started using drugs. He didn't want me around that so he made her choose between us or the drugs, and she choose drugs. Her Name Is Sofia Perez my mother was Dominican and my dad was black, but i got something good from my parents. I got good hair from my mama also nice skin, and my hazel eyes from daddy. My pops told me how he really loved my mom,and how they were so happy until she went druggy on him. Its Sad that i didn't really know her,but its whatever because daddy was really all I need.   Also Im a princess for other reasons,I know its wrong but the drug money is how I'm so fortunate. It puts food on the table a roof over my head and the hottest clothes,shoe and handbags in my closet. Daddy made sure I got everything I wanted. I always had the latest shoe,phones and everything new,but so did he. He made sure our shit was together and fresh. I had so much stuff i could open a dame store. But daddy spent his money smart he never spent to much at one time might attract attention. Anyway back to yours truly my name is Legacy Perez. And this is the story of my life which can get a little crazy.   "Girl his ass is probably creeping" said my best friend Miracle. Miracle was the best best friend  you could ask for. She was so real she never failed to keep it real with me. She is always there for me when I need her,even when she's pissed at me if I'm hurt I can count on my sister to make me feel better. Miracle had the perfect skin and figure. She also models part time thats how hot my girl is. Right now we laid across my California king bed,talking bout my boyfriend Darrius.   She thinks he's cheating just because, he's been so called working and always busy lately. But I Know My Baby He Aint Cheating he wasn't smart enough. So to prove this to her we going to this club he said he was going with his boys. I know i shouldn't but I have to prove Miracle Ass wrong. I love her but somebody got to shut her ass down. "Miracle Darrius aint cheating,why you always doubting him girl. You don't see me doubting Kevin all the time even if you do have him on lockdown." Sure he had a hoe reputation back before me,but i could see he was changing. He brought me the best things,the nigga spoiled me. He also made me feel like the only girl in the world. Yea that sounded corny but aye it was true he always put me first. Well he did we kind of started drifting apart.    I walked and opened up my walk in closet, and started to look for something to wear for the club tonight. "Look Lee Lee you know I'm only trying to look out for you. I only want the best for you girl. Thats why I'm going through all this trouble to get us in this club to spy on his ass. You can never be to safe Baby Girl." She walked over and kissed me on the cheek. She was right we couldn't be to safe, i mean it shouldn't be a big deal if he wasn't hiding anything. Besides it means i can go have fun at the club, so it i wasn't really tripping. Miracle and I Talked and laughed about things like the latest gossip in the street. We talked about this girl Lexus who been tryna get at Toronto for the longest. Who could blame her he was sexy as hell. Nice body full of tattoos,perfect sexy teeth the way he dressed was always clean. He always rocked the latest style he was known around the block because he moved weight for my father. He was a quit guy always kept a low profile and he was smart, he had scholarships to plenty of colleges but refused them because he wanted to stay back and support his mama who been on drugs since he was a kid. Me and Toronto never really spoke because my father made it clear that he didn't want me with anyone in the drug gang.   It didn't bother me because i was with Darrius at the time...well i was still Darrius now. But when Toronto came around it was always "Hi,How are you" and kept it moving Hell sometimes we didn't speak but he would always turn around and do a double take at me. ONE thing for sure tho he was out of Lexus lead she was known for having sex with every guy in the hood even with a couple bitches. She had no respect for herself and well he didn't like girls like that. I looked at Miracle And laughed. "He is so out of her league, he probably doesn't even know she be there." Miracle Giggled. "right,he says he don't wont no hoe,he wants a girl who be on her shit classy but also hood,and she can't be no bald head brood." Miracle and I High Fived And Started Shaking Our Hair. "But he also said he wants someone strong and down for the ride a girl thats go hold him down no matter what,but most of all she gotta be loyal." Dame he has high standards i thought but that was good. A girl like that was hard to find. Kevin and Darrius better know they some lucky ass guys.   We talked for another hour before Miracle got off the bed and hugged me and told me she would pick me up at 9 and left. Right now it was 6 so i had time on my hands. I hopped in the shower and and slipped on a matching bra and pantie set and my pink shorts and one of Darrius Sweat Shirts that he left over. No We weren't having sex i was a 17 year old virgin yes that was rare. I slipped my feet in my black house boot slippers and went down stairs. I found my father sitting at the bar on the phone. He was talking in code which meant he was talking business. I went kissed him on the cheek and walked into the kitchen i pulled out a bottle of water and a granola bar.    I Walked back to see he wasn't on the phone any more i pulled up a chair next to him and put my feet in his lap. Looked to see he had a drink on the table, my father would drink if things were not going his way. He didn't get drunk he just and a drink or two and planned stuff. I watched his body language to see how bad it was. "Everything Ok Daddy?" He Shifted and sighed and looked at his drink studying it. "The feds been poking around lately, they been picking up on some suspicious activity leading them in Chicago."  I looked at him and started getting a little nervous. If dad told me this that meant this probably a level five out of ten problem. If it got to a level five that meant daddy expected me to pack a bag and be ready for any possible problem.    In the drug world anything could go wrong and i knew that. So daddy made a plan to get me out of everything and not in the system this plan would be valid until i was out of college. Daddy had 2.5million dollars for me so i could go to school have a car and a small nice house. We had it all planned out so if that failed we had a plan a,b and c. Either way i would be safe from everything. He must have none what i was thinking because what he said kind of worried me. "Princess i you want to to leave if things get to a level 8 no arguing just do what we talked about." Daddy knew i wouldn't just up and leave him that easy so he made sure that if i didn't leave Toronto would come and bring me out the state. And if Toronto got caught somebody else would come and i would know it was them. "Daddy you know i just cant up and leave you like that...its not that easy we been doing this since before i was born i-" He cut me off . "Legacy I Want you to do as i say no questions asked, right now is about a level 3 which means that are talking to some people in the hood. That means we good but we need to be on our toes but nothing we need to get worked up about." I Stood up and put a hand on my hip and one on my forhead.   Daddy stood up and swept me up in one of his warm hugs. When he hugged me i felt so safe and i didn't have any worries. He kissed the top of my head and said. "I Promise i wont let any of this become your problem. I would never bring you into any of this so don't say "we" because its just me." I rested my head on his suit jacket. He released me from our hug and sat back down. "Now You Seem Like something is bothering you so whats up princess?" I Told him about Miracles suspensions about Darrius. Not To my surprise he agreed with her. He never really liked Darrius and he always felt he wasn't trust worthy.    Well of course in dad code it means he's not worthy of me. If Darrius Was Cheating On me he would have to face the wrath of Jayceon. Everyone Feared making my father angry and if you  hurt me you hurt a very powerful man. If my father wanted you to disappear without a trace. That scared me about him so if things went down hill for Darrius and I, i would keep it to myself. "Princess Behest do you love him?" Not Material things love like truly your heart skip a beat when he around like just seeing him makes your day."'    I thought about it before i answered what is love really? Just because I cared for him didn't mean I loved him. Love is just a complicated subject that i really need to just figure out.    Once I hit up my room I went straight for the closet and looked for a bomb ass outfit that i could rock for the club. As I was looking for the outfit I heard my phone ring and hurried up to get it before the person press the end button. I looked at the contact and it was Miracle she was calling me on FaceTime probably to see what outfit I came up wit to see if she could find something similar to it. Once I got to the phone I hit the accept button and all you see in the camera is Miracle in a towel in her closet like bitch I'm strictly dickly. I Laughed when I saw her and set the phone down, I walked in my closet and settled on the new outfit i brought 2 days ago. It was a black leather halter top and the black leather pants to go with it, I pulled out my black open toes heels to go with it. I Showed mircale what I was wearing and she whore the white outfit just like mine with her nude open toe heels.    I went and sat at my vanity and applied some light makeup to my already perfect skin and curled my hair. I Slipped my clothes on and decided on a Black Mk Clutch purse,you could say i loved black. Me and Miracle Talked the Whole We got dressed and she was now on her way to pick me up, i slipped some lip gloss and a stack of cash in my purse. I sprayed a gucci perfume on me and walked down stairs to tell Jayceon I was leaving. I Walked to his office to find him on the phone again, I Felt worried all over again the little voice in the back of my head saying something wasn't right was getting louder. He turned in my direction, and i mouthed 'Im out'. He told whoever hold and turned to talk to me "Be Careful baby girl, love you. No matter what you find out tonight remember you Jayceon Daughter and we don't need nobody." I walked over and kissed the wise old man's cheek and left.   As Soon as i walked out Miracle was just pulling up, i hoped in her 2014 black vet and we let Bryson tiller trap-soul album play. We were on our way to the club to find out once and for all, if Darrius was cheating or not.   Chapter Two  We Walked in the club and passed our boy Gill the bouncer. As we walked in all eyes were on us,all the guys were watching us with lust in their eyes and all the females were mugging us. We walked to the bar greeting everyone we knew which was half the dame club. I Ordered a Bloody Mary and made my way to the V.I.P section of the club. As I walking I bumped into a dame Brick wall I Almost fell but strong arms caught me from falling. I Looked Up to see that wall was Toronto. He Wore a White shirt, with baggy black jeans and a designer belt. Also he had a black hat with his black Tim's on. He looked down at me and smirked. "You should really watch were you going ma."    I Looked up at him with my short frame and scoffed. "Well you need to look down and watch for short people,not everyone can be 6'ft 3 or something like that." He looked up and laughed,it was the first time i ever seen him smile let alone laugh. It was nice to hear him do that. "Well Legacy Everyone can see over your dame head so... sorry" This made me giggle because he wasn't to far off, I was short as hell and everyone knew it. At first i used to get upset but after years you kind of say 'fuck it'. "I see you got jokes huh Toronto, giraffe neck ass." He rubbed the back of his neck and smirked at me, witch made me blush.   Toronto looked over my body and I did the same to him. Like I said before Toronto was sexy, he was a pretty cool guy from what I've seen. I was snapped out of my gazing at him,when some tipsy ass female with a dress that didn't hide anything bumped me. I threw a glance over my shoulder to see if it was on purpose. It turns out she wasn't tipsy the bitch was drunk I rolled my eyes and turned back to Toronto. He was looking around with a serious look on his face. He must be looking for someone I thought to myself. "So"? I said bringing his attention back to me. "Clubs or anything sociable is not for your thing,so what are to doing here?" He released a sigh and said "you right Ion like this type of shit. I'm Hear on business so you need to be careful because some Niggas that wanna pop ya father in town and I think they might be here."   I started to casually scan the room without being obvious. I didn't see anything out the ordinary so I once agin turned back To Toronto. "Well I don't see anything so I'ma go find Miracle,and get a little tipsy" He flashed me a perfect smile, his teeth were perfect. I blushed a little and walked around him. Before I could walk away he grabbed my arm gently, and looked me in the eyes. "Legacy Ima really need you to be careful, don't leave with no one beside Miracle." He slipped a piece of paper in my hand, and walked away from me leaving the club. I looked at the paper and saw that it was his number. I Giggled for some reason and walked to the V.I.P section where i saw Miracle with a mischievous grin on her face.    As I walking up there I realized that Miracle was bout to grill me about my conversation with the well none Toronto. I sipped my drink and walked over to sit next to her on the round couch. I pretended to not feel her stare a hole in the side of my head. "So you not gonna tell me what y'all was talking bout?" I sighed and looked at my noisy best friend who was still smiling at me while playing with the straw on her drink. "I'll tell you when we leave because I'm going to your house after. I don't need Jayceon asking me why i was under age drinking and why I'm coming I'm coming in so late." Miracle laughed at my over protective father and raised her hands in surrender.   After sitting for a while and socializing my song came on, Jeremih Oui. I Stood up with Miracle Right Behind me and went to the dance floor ready to dance. As we walked the crowed made a small path for us. We finally got to the middle and started shaking our hips and grinding. We danced to that song and a couple more we knew. When future 'freak hoe' came on i was bout to cut up, but thats when i saw it. On the left or the room i the corner it was hard to see so i walked closer. When i realized that my eyes were infact not deceiving me,i felt a lump in my throat form. I saw Darrius kissing some knock of wanna be Nicki Minaj bitch. I started to walk over there, but Miracle grabbed my arm and walked up to them snatching the hoe by her cheap ass weave. Miracle Started beating the shit out her drawing a crowd.   I went over to stop the fight, I pulled Miracle off the girl. She did a number on the hoe her nose was bleeding and lip was busted. I think I actually saw some of her 5 dollar tracks on the floor. I turned to look at Darrius who was walking over to try and hug me. A tear slipped down my face and I punched him they way my father taught me to. He fell to the floor and i kicked him. "How could you do this to me I yelled at him." I heard knock off nicki groan. I Looked Darrius in the eye he just sat there with a shocked look on his face." I cared for you I went thee long mile for you and all i asked for in return was your loyalty." Everyone was watching the show now I looked around embarrassed. I wipped the one little tear that wasn't noticeable and head for the club exit feeling the whole dame room eyes on the back of my head.   As i walked out the cold night air was a slap in the face. I Wrapped my arms around myself and stared walking. I pulled my 6s and texted Miracle I would meet her at her house. Me and Miracle was so close that we had a key to each other house. I was About to round a corner,until i felt a arm warp around my body making my arms useless and a napkin with a funny smelling chemical on it. I started to struggle in the mans grip but the Son Of A bitch was strong. I started growing weaker and weaker then eventually... my eyes grew to heavy and i Blacked out...     Chapter Three  When I awoke the smell of cologne invaded my nose, I looked around to find no one in site. I was In A room tied to a chair. This wasn't just any room,it was a nice ass bed room. But It wasn't bigger than my room tho and from the looks of things the house was about the same size as mine so this had to be a big house. I stared to struggle but it was useless,the asshole made sure I couldn't move a dame muscle. I was thinking about screaming,but daddy tole me to never scream,because that means you don't have time to think so you might ass well be speeding up ya own death. I sat there thinking maybe be i could sweet talk them into letting me go,or if they untie me I could whoop that ass and run for it. There was also the possibility of people waiting outside for me.   I sat there for a while and couldn't think of a dame thing. "Shit." I said a little to loud, I mentally cussed myself. That went on for about 30 seconds and someone walked through the door. A handsome ass man who looked like he was Latina walked in. He had on a nice suit and a big ass ice on his wrist and he had a cute stubble and a nice clean cut. His presence held power, but wasn't the least bit intimidated. When you had a father like man men like him don't really scare you. He had a small Smirk on his face when he walked over to me. He walked around me like a lion before it captured its prey. Once more i wasn't intimidated. I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh,this mofo was playing with me.   He stopped in front of me and flashed me a dazzling smile. I scoffed and he frowned a little. "Your Jayceon's Daughter no doubt about it. You will  find a way to be smug in a dangerous situation. You realize Im a dangerous man and i'm in control of your life?" I looked at him and laughed, this nigga really think ima act like a scared little girl beggng and crying for him to let me go. I Looked him in the eye and spoke clearly. "Do you really think Im scared of you? Hell, if anything you need to be scared that you fucked with me. When my father come get me he go make you wish ya dame mama kept her legs closed shit head."    He placed his hand behind his back and pulled out a gun. He pressed the cool piece of steel to my head and looked me in the eye. I Didn't back down and we kind of had a stare off before he spoke. "You really beautiful you know that? It would be a shame if I had to kill you. I like your attitude and all but you need to tone it down." I Looked at him with a blank expression. I let the wheels turn in my head, if he really wanted me dead he could have been killed me. So that mean he wants something, that meant i wasn't in that much danger but he could torture me for info about my father which i would never tell.   "Do you know who I am?" Did he really ask me that if I knew who he was I would have said something. He must have known what I was thinking because he he sighed. He knelt down in front of me and we were looking eye to eye. He put a hand on my cheek and I jerked my head away. He placed his hand back to his side. "I'm Javier, your fathers biggest enemy and he owes me something. I Scuffed. "And what would that be?" He frowned and said " One of my men." This bitch then lost his mine. He kidnapped me instead of one of my fathers men. He was a true dick head, my father is going to make it rain bullets on him.    '' So let me get this straight, you kidnapped me when you could have kidnapped one of his men?'' He stood up straight. ''Yeah,that sounds about right.'' I looked at him he lost his dame mind which the bastard did. "He isn't just one of my men either, he is my brother so, I took you because you are your fathers weakness as my brother is mine.'' When I thought about it, it did make since but I was still beyond pissed. This is my life though I know my fathers job is dangerous and I was always taught to be ready for the worst. Javier reached into his pocket and started typing something on it. He put the phone to his ear and I heard a deep husky voice, It was my father. I heard the anger in his voice how did he know i was gone and wait, what time it was.   ''Jayceon, my friend, I have you pretty foul mouth daughter, you should really teach her manners. But I called to make a deal. You and I are both men, so we can settle this maturely my brother for you wonderful daughter." Javier Winked at me and listened to what Jayceon was saying. I couldn't really hear what he was saying. Something about "putting a bullet in ya head and one up ya ass." Javier walked over to me and placed the phone on my ear. I took a deep breath and exhaled. " Daddy?'' My father let out a sigh he was very calm, he was never the screaming,panic type. "Legacy are you ok, are you hurt in any type of way?'' He sounded stressed and tired, he was going through alot and now this. "No daddy I'm alright just ready to come home." ''Trust me, you will be out there in no time, we got you princess.''    Javier took the phone from my ear and said ''one hour'' to my father. He hung up the phone and called one of his men in. He said something in Spanish which I didn't understand, and the man nodded and left. ''Well Legacy you get to go home to your father, and i get my brother back. This here beautiful is a win win situation and nobody had to get blasted.'' He seriously didn't know my father, this act wouldn't go unpunished by my father. He was probably going to kill this motherfucker. Win Win my ass but I couldn't tell him that, that would be fucking everything up. He came around and untied me from the chair. I stood up and rubbed my red wrist,and mugged the fuck out of Javier. He put his arm around me and lead me out of the room.   "You know Legacy you can come and see me whenever you want ok?'' This nigga was clearly smoking his own shit. He clearly didn't know thus might be his last time walking this dame planet. Knowing my father, things were about to get bloody. Javier opened a closet and handed me my clutch. I snatched It out of his hand and he frowned at me. He grabbed my arm and looked my in my eyes and said ''You really need to watch who you  playing with.'' I snatched my arm out his hand and stepped in his face. ''What you go do, you cant hurt me unless you don't want your brother back.'' He smiled and, he was truly to confident for a dead man.    We walked out the door and outside was a Austin Martin parked in front. He opened the door for me then walked over to his side and got in.  We pulled out the long drive way and came to a gate and he sped off to wherever my father was. I was preparing myself for what was about to go down... Chapter four  The car ride was silent,and quite frankly is was a little uncomfortable. I mean thats expected when you're riding with your kidnapper and a 2 big ass SUV's,with big mean looking Spanish motherfuckers. The ride wasn't horrible,I mean I'm riding in an Austin Martin. The seats were comfortable as hell and it had seat warmers. It had brown leather sheek seats, a touch screen radio which was put in obviously and the dash board where they showed how much gas and Mph was glowing blue. The roof even opened, I was in love with this car. I ran my fingers over the door arm and whispered ''beautiful'. He was driving my dream car like it wasn't nothing.    My heels were killing be so I took them off and held them in my hand. I was pretty sure my exercise was going to pay off ,because my ass was go do alot of running. Javier noticed my action and smirked, he was a smug son of a bitch and I was bought ready to smack the hell out him. ''something funny?'' I asked with attitude dripping from my voice. I looked at his sculpted jaw line, I was really not going to lie he was fine as hell. He smelled good to any any woman must be gay if she not attracted to him but he was the enemy. Also even if he wasn't he wasn't my type. I liked my guys tugged out not that mafia shit. That just wasnt my thing.    ''Yea something is funny actually.'' He was really working my last nerve. ''and what might that be.'' i said crossing my arms over my chest. He took his eyes of the road and looked in my direction which was making me nervous ion play that texting or eyes off the road while driving shit. He looked me in my eyes. Dame we were staring this again huh? I thought to myself he put his focus back on the road which relived me. ''I don't see why you women wear those shoes if you know they gonna hurt your feet eventually. I Looked at him and I knew he felt me burning a hole on the side of his face. I scoffed and let out a humorless laugh. ''Well, you go have to excuse me for not knowing some Spanish guy was going to kidnapped me. I'm so dame unprepared I think I need to get my shit together  and be more prepared for this next time huh?''   He smacked is lips and and said '' no es nada personal''. I looked at him with a dick look on my face and sighed. ''Look I don't speak Spanish so translate that shit to where I understand it'' He laughed and that pissed me off because first off Legacy Perez Hates being laughed at and second he took his dame eyes off the road again which like I said I don't play that shit. ''It means its nothing personal baby girl'' I rolled my eyes next time I need to bring a gun. That is if Jayceon Lets me out the house ever again. I prolly have to to get an at home tutor. He really would go that far to protect me.   We pulled up to a destered building and that looked about ready to fall apart. Right next to it was another leading into a dark alley. It was dark and secluded away from the city so if you got killed here they probably wouldn't find your body until a month after death maybe longer. This place was truly gloomy and and dark as hell. The perfect place for a shoot out. The ground were wet it added to the whole creepy look. I looked around for any sign of my people which I didn't see. I sat in the car thinking about how all this happened. It all started with a hypothesis of weather Darius was cheating which turned out to actually be true. Wow I was just like those naive women in the movies. Then I thought back to Miracle. I know nearly had a heart attack after finding out.   She probably go help my father lock me up in the house forever. I was brought out of my thoughts by Javier. He tapped my shoulder and pointed to my daddies car pulling up. Jayceon stepped out looking sharp as ever, thats my old man I thought to myself daddy was the shit and he Knew it. The way He cared his self you could basically be feel the power radiating off him. He was walking danger. I was about to run into his arms but before I could get out the car Javier grabbed my leg. I looked at his hand and then his face. He was eyeing my father like a dame hawk. Jayceon held a poker face and reached into the car and grabbed a man by his neck   The man's was sporting a black eye and his lip was busted, he and Javier looked alike you could easily tell they were brothers. His hand were tied up and I didn't see the point in. Javier Grabbed his gun and pointed at my head and walked around me. Jayceon didn't need a gun to kill his brother in the blink of an eyes he could just crush his neck. Yeah scary right. The silence was kind of making me mad and I wasn't sure if I should say anything. I Had a sharp tongue so It shouldn't be a surprise right? I looked around once dame this place was gloomy and depressing.   ''So Jay, can I call you Jay? '' He laughed to himself. Dick face. ''Don't play games with me Javier I Will Fuck you and your brother up.'' Jay I have your little princess and and everybody knows I basically have your life in my hands. So how about we do we get this over with and both be on our way'' He gave one of those fake ass smiles that made you wanna smack the piss out of him. Dame, this was kind of a messed up situation. ''Well I don't know about you guys but I'm ready to take these heels off, and take a nice long hot bath.'' Javier Laughed at my remark and he looked at my father. ''Well you heard the little lady let's get this shit moving along.''  Javier moved his gun away and ushered me forward, my father did the same as well. The walk over was kind of long and agonizing.    Just as I was like three feet aways from Jayceon,he yanked me by the arm and pulled me behind him. Then he pulled out a gun and shot Javier's brother. Thats when hell started raining down on all of our heads. Jayceon grabbed me in his arms and did one of the dramatic protective jumps to safety. When we were behind a truck and a car Jayceon took off his bullet proof vest and put it around me. Before I could protest Toronto Came out of no where with a another one and tossed it to daddy along with a gun clip. '' We sticking to the plan boss?'' ronto said. Jayceon Stood up and sent some shots at Javier's side. He came back down and started changing out guns. ''Yea Get her out of here and keep her safe. Im trusting you with my, don't let me down.   ''Wait Jayceon, what the hell you talking bout.'' He was straight tripping if he thought I was gonna leave him. I made a mental promise to protect my father by any-means necessary. Thats how deep my love ran, he was all i had my only parent. I refused to leave him,yea I knew his man we pro killers but still I didn't feel right leaving him. ''Legacy,right now I will not have this discussion not get your ass in that car with Toronto and do what he says.'' I looked in my fathers eyes and for once,for once in my my life I truly saw fear in his eyes. Not Fear from this situation not fear for jail,not fear for the people who's going to lose their life tonight,hell no even for his own life. But fear my life and I couldn't do that to him. ''I shook my head feeling the tears run down my face. I quickly turned away ready to leave but before I could Daddy pulled me in his arms and kissed me on the forehead.   Toronto got down low and grabbed my hand,he then put me in front of him and he pep talked me. ''Alrite you gonna run if front me so any bullets coming this way I will take the hit to the back. ''No, you could get hurt, I cant let you do that'' He let out a breath of frustration. ''I'm only doing what your father says, and thats keeping you safe. If I don't your dad go murder my ass no lets go'' He urged me forward around cars. We ran fast as we could while squatting behind things. We stopped briefly because we heard a noise. I He pushed me down low and stood up straight and aimed the gun. He started sending shots so i was guessing it was the enemy. He came back down and he continued running behind me. Then finally we made it to the car Publication Date: July 16th 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-kze9beadf247055

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-william-shakespeare-the-life-of-king-henry-the-fift/

William Shakespeare The Life of King Henry the Fift Enter Prologue. O For a Muse of Fire, that would ascend The brightest Heauen of Inuention: A Kingdome for a Stage, Princes to Act, And Monarchs to behold the swelling Scene. Then should the Warlike Harry, like himselfe, Assume the Port of Mars, and at his heeles (Leasht in, like Hounds) should Famine, Sword, and Fire Crouch for employment. But pardon, Gentles all: The flat vnraysed Spirits, that hath dar'd, On this vnworthy Scaffold, to bring forth So great an Obiect. Can this Cock-Pit hold The vastie fields of France? Or may we cramme Within this Woodden O, the very Caskes That did affright the Ayre at Agincourt? O pardon: since a crooked Figure may Attest in little place a Million, And let vs, Cyphers to this great Accompt, On your imaginarie Forces worke. Suppose within the Girdle of these Walls Are now confin'd two mightie Monarchies, Whose high, vp-reared, and abutting Fronts, The perillous narrow Ocean parts asunder. Peece out our imperfections with your thoughts: Into a thousand parts diuide one Man, And make imaginarie Puissance. Thinke when we talke of Horses, that you see them Printing their prowd Hoofes i'th' receiuing Earth: For 'tis your thoughts that now must deck our Kings, Carry them here and there: Iumping o're Times; Turning th' accomplishment of many yeeres Into an Howre-glasse: for the which supplie, Admit me Chorus to this Historie; Who Prologue-like, your humble patience pray, Gently to heare, kindly to iudge our Play. Enter. Actus Primus. Scoena Prima. Enter the two Bishops of Canterbury and Ely. Bish.Cant. My Lord, Ile tell you, that selfe Bill is vrg'd, Which in th' eleue[n]th yere of y last Kings reign Was like, and had indeed against vs past, But that the scambling and vnquiet time Did push it out of farther question Bish.Ely. But how my Lord shall we resist it now? Bish.Cant. It must be thought on: if it passe against vs, We loose the better halfe of our Possession: For all the Temporall Lands, which men deuout By Testament haue giuen to the Church, Would they strip from vs; being valu'd thus, As much as would maintaine, to the Kings honor, Full fifteene Earles, and fifteene hundred Knights, Six thousand and two hundred good Esquires: And to reliefe of Lazars, and weake age Of indigent faint Soules, past corporall toyle, A hundred Almes-houses, right well supply'd: And to the Coffers of the King beside, A thousand pounds by th' yeere. Thus runs the Bill Bish.Ely. This would drinke deepe Bish.Cant. 'Twould drinke the Cup and all Bish.Ely. But what preuention? Bish.Cant. The King is full of grace, and faire regard Bish.Ely. And a true louer of the holy Church Bish.Cant. The courses of his youth promis'd it not. The breath no sooner left his Fathers body, But that his wildnesse, mortify'd in him, Seem'd to dye too: yea, at that very moment, Consideration like an Angell came, And whipt th' offending Adam out of him; Leauing his body as a Paradise, T' inuelop and containe Celestiall Spirits. Neuer was such a sodaine Scholler made: Neuer came Reformation in a Flood, With such a heady currance scowring faults: Nor neuer Hidra-headed Wilfulnesse So soone did loose his Seat; and all at once; As in this King Bish.Ely. We are blessed in the Change Bish.Cant. Heare him but reason in Diuinitie; And all-admiring, with an inward wish You would desire the King were made a Prelate: Heare him debate of Common-wealth Affaires; You would say, it hath been all in all his study: List his discourse of Warre; and you shall heare A fearefull Battaile rendred you in Musique. Turne him to any Cause of Pollicy, The Gordian Knot of it he will vnloose, Familiar as his Garter: that when he speakes, The Ayre, a Charter'd Libertine, is still, And the mute Wonder lurketh in mens eares, To steale his sweet and honyed Sentences: So that the Art and Practique part of Life, Must be the Mistresse to this Theorique. Which is a wonder how his Grace should gleane it, Since his addiction was to Courses vaine, His Companies vnletter'd, rude, and shallow, His Houres fill'd vp with Ryots, Banquets, Sports; And neuer noted in him any studie, Any retyrement, any sequestration, From open Haunts and Popularitie B.Ely. The Strawberry growes vnderneath the Nettle, And holesome Berryes thriue and ripen best, Neighbour'd by Fruit of baser qualitie: And so the Prince obscur'd his Contemplation Vnder the Veyle of Wildnesse, which (no doubt) Grew like the Summer Grasse, fastest by Night, Vnseene, yet cressiue in his facultie B.Cant. It must be so; for Miracles are ceast: And therefore we must needes admit the meanes, How things are perfected B.Ely. But my good Lord: How now for mittigation of this Bill, Vrg'd by the Commons? doth his Maiestie Incline to it, or no? B.Cant. He seemes indifferent: Or rather swaying more vpon our part, Then cherishing th' exhibiters against vs: For I haue made an offer to his Maiestie, Vpon our Spirituall Conuocation, And in regard of Causes now in hand, Which I haue open'd to his Grace at large, As touching France, to giue a greater Summe, Then euer at one time the Clergie yet Did to his Predecessors part withall B.Ely. How did this offer seeme receiu'd, my Lord? B.Cant. With good acceptance of his Maiestie: Saue that there was not time enough to heare, As I perceiu'd his Grace would faine haue done, The seueralls and vnhidden passages Of his true Titles to some certaine Dukedomes, And generally, to the Crowne and Seat of France, Deriu'd from Edward, his great Grandfather B.Ely. What was th' impediment that broke this off? B.Cant. The French Embassador vpon that instant Crau'd audience; and the howre I thinke is come, To giue him hearing: Is it foure a Clock? B.Ely. It is B.Cant. Then goe we in, to know his Embassie: Which I could with a ready guesse declare, Before the Frenchman speake a word of it B.Ely. Ile wait vpon you, and I long to heare it. Exeunt. Enter the King, Humfrey, Bedford, Clarence, Warwick, Westmerland, and Exeter. King. Where is my gracious Lord of Canterbury? Exeter. Not here in presence King. Send for him, good Vnckle Westm. Shall we call in th' Ambassador, my Liege? King. Not yet, my Cousin: we would be resolu'd, Before we heare him, of some things of weight, That taske our thoughts, concerning vs and France. Enter two Bishops. B.Cant. God and his Angels guard your sacred Throne, And make you long become it King. Sure we thanke you. My learned Lord, we pray you to proceed, And iustly and religiously vnfold, Why the Law Salike, that they haue in France, Or should or should not barre vs in our Clayme: And God forbid, my deare and faithfull Lord, That you should fashion, wrest, or bow your reading, Or nicely charge your vnderstanding Soule, With opening Titles miscreate, whose right Sutes not in natiue colours with the truth: For God doth know, how many now in health, Shall drop their blood, in approbation Of what your reuerence shall incite vs to. Therefore take heed how you impawne our Person, How you awake our sleeping Sword of Warre; We charge you in the Name of God take heed: For neuer two such Kingdomes did contend, Without much fall of blood, whose guiltlesse drops Are euery one, a Woe, a sore Complaint, 'Gainst him, whose wrongs giues edge vnto the Swords, That makes such waste in briefe mortalitie. Vnder this Coniuration, speake my Lord: For we will heare, note, and beleeue in heart, That what you speake, is in your Conscience washt, As pure as sinne with Baptisme B.Can. Then heare me gracious Soueraign, & you Peers, That owe your selues, your liues, and seruices, To this Imperiall Throne. There is no barre To make against your Highnesse Clayme to France, But this which they produce from Pharamond, In terram Salicam Mulieres ne succedant, No Woman shall succeed in Salike Land: Which Salike Land, the French vniustly gloze To be the Realme of France, and Pharamond The founder of this Law, and Female Barre. Yet their owne Authors faithfully affirme, That the Land Salike is in Germanie, Betweene the Flouds of Sala and of Elue: Where Charles the Great hauing subdu'd the Saxons, There left behind and settled certaine French: Who holding in disdaine the German Women, For some dishonest manners of their life, Establisht then this Law; to wit, No Female Should be Inheritrix in Salike Land: Which Salike (as I said) 'twixt Elue and Sala, Is at this day in Germanie, call'd Meisen. Then doth it well appeare, the Salike Law Was not deuised for the Realme of France: Nor did the French possesse the Salike Land, Vntill foure hundred one and twentie yeeres After defunction of King Pharamond, Idly suppos'd the founder of this Law, Who died within the yeere of our Redemption, Foure hundred twentie six: and Charles the Great Subdu'd the Saxons, and did seat the French Beyond the Riuer Sala, in the yeere Eight hundred fiue. Besides, their Writers say, King Pepin, which deposed Childerike, Did as Heire Generall, being descended Of Blithild, which was Daughter to King Clothair, Make Clayme and Title to the Crowne of France. Hugh Capet also, who vsurpt the Crowne Of Charles the Duke of Loraine, sole Heire male Of the true Line and Stock of Charles the Great: To find his Title with some shewes of truth, Though in pure truth it was corrupt and naught, Conuey'd himselfe as th' Heire to th' Lady Lingare, Daughter to Charlemaine, who was the Sonne To Lewes the Emperour, and Lewes the Sonne Of Charles the Great: also King Lewes the Tenth, Who was sole Heire to the Vsurper Capet, Could not keepe quiet in his conscience, Wearing the Crowne of France, 'till satisfied, That faire Queene Isabel, his Grandmother, Was Lineall of the Lady Ermengare, Daughter to Charles the foresaid Duke of Loraine: By the which Marriage, the Lyne of Charles the Great Was re-vnited to the Crowne of France. So, that as cleare as is the Summers Sunne, King Pepins Title, and Hugh Capets Clayme, King Lewes his satisfaction, all appeare To hold in Right and Title of the Female: So doe the Kings of France vnto this day. Howbeit, they would hold vp this Salique Law, To barre your Highnesse clayming from the Female, And rather chuse to hide them in a Net, Then amply to imbarre their crooked Titles, Vsurpt from you and your Progenitors King. May I with right and conscience make this claim? Bish.Cant. The sinne vpon my head, dread Soueraigne: For in the Booke of Numbers is it writ, When the man dyes, let the Inheritance Descend vnto the Daughter. Gracious Lord, Stand for your owne, vnwind your bloody Flagge, Looke back into your mightie Ancestors: Goe my dread Lord, to your great Grandsires Tombe, From whom you clayme; inuoke his Warlike Spirit, And your Great Vnckles, Edward the Black Prince, Who on the French ground play'd a Tragedie, Making defeat on the full Power of France: Whiles his most mightie Father on a Hill Stood smiling, to behold his Lyons Whelpe Forrage in blood of French Nobilitie. O Noble English, that could entertaine With halfe their Forces, the full pride of France, And let another halfe stand laughing by, All out of worke, and cold for action Bish. Awake remembrance of these valiant dead, And with your puissant Arme renew their Feats; You are their Heire, you sit vpon their Throne: The Blood and Courage that renowned them, Runs in your Veines: and my thrice-puissant Liege Is in the very May-Morne of his Youth, Ripe for Exploits and mightie Enterprises Exe. Your Brother Kings and Monarchs of the Earth Doe all expect, that you should rowse your selfe, As did the former Lyons of your Blood West. They know your Grace hath cause, and means, and might; So hath your Highnesse: neuer King of England Had Nobles richer, and more loyall Subiects, Whose hearts haue left their bodyes here in England, And lye pauillion'd in the fields of France Bish.Can. O let their bodyes follow my deare Liege With Bloods, and Sword and Fire, to win your Right: In ayde whereof, we of the Spiritualtie Will rayse your Highnesse such a mightie Summe, As neuer did the Clergie at one time Bring in to any of your Ancestors King. We must not onely arme t' inuade the French, But lay downe our proportions, to defend Against the Scot, who will make roade vpon vs, With all aduantages Bish.Can. They of those Marches, gracious Soueraign, Shall be a Wall sufficient to defend Our in-land from the pilfering Borderers King. We do not meane the coursing snatchers onely, But feare the maine intendment of the Scot, Who hath been still a giddy neighbour to vs: For you shall reade, that my great Grandfather Neuer went with his forces into France, But that the Scot, on his vnfurnisht Kingdome, Came pouring like the Tyde into a breach, With ample and brim fulnesse of his force, Galling the gleaned Land with hot Assayes, Girding with grieuous siege, Castles and Townes: That England being emptie of defence, Hath shooke and trembled at th' ill neighbourhood B.Can. She hath bin the[n] more fear'd the[n] harm'd, my Liege: For heare her but exampl'd by her selfe, When all her Cheualrie hath been in France, And shee a mourning Widdow of her Nobles, Shee hath her selfe not onely well defended, But taken and impounded as a Stray, The King of Scots: whom shee did send to France, To fill King Edwards fame with prisoner Kings, And make their Chronicle as rich with prayse, As is the Owse and bottome of the Sea With sunken Wrack, and sum-lesse Treasuries Bish.Ely. But there's a saying very old and true, If that you will France win, then with Scotland first begin. For once the Eagle (England) being in prey, To her vnguarded Nest, the Weazell (Scot) Comes sneaking, and so sucks her Princely Egges, Playing the Mouse in absence of the Cat, To tame and hauocke more then she can eate Exet. It followes then, the Cat must stay at home, Yet that is but a crush'd necessity, Since we haue lockes to safegard necessaries, And pretty traps to catch the petty theeues. While that the Armed hand doth fight abroad, Th' aduised head defends it selfe at home: For Gouernment, though high, and low, and lower, Put into parts, doth keepe in one consent, Congreeing in a full and natural close, Like Musicke Cant. Therefore doth heauen diuide The state of man in diuers functions, Setting endeuour in continual motion: To which is fixed as an ayme or butt, Obedience: for so worke the Hony Bees, Creatures that by a rule in Nature teach The Act of Order to a peopled Kingdome. They haue a King, and Officers of sorts, Where some like Magistrates correct at home: Others, like Merchants venter Trade abroad: Others, like Souldiers armed in their stings, Make boote vpon the Summers Veluet buddes: Which pillage, they with merry march bring home To the Tent-royal of their Emperor: Who busied in his Maiesties surueyes The singing Masons building roofes of Gold, The ciuil Citizens kneading vp the hony; The poore Mechanicke Porters, crowding in Their heauy burthens at his narrow gate: The sad-ey'd Iustice with his surly humme, Deliuering ore to Executors pale The lazie yawning Drone: I this inferre, That many things hauing full reference To one consent, may worke contrariously, As many Arrowes loosed seuerall wayes Come to one marke: as many wayes meet in one towne, As many fresh streames meet in one salt sea; As many Lynes close in the Dials center: So may a thousand actions once a foote, And in one purpose, and be all well borne Without defeat. Therefore to France, my Liege, Diuide your happy England into foure, Whereof, take you one quarter into France, And you withall shall make all Gallia shake. If we with thrice such powers left at home, Cannot defend our owne doores from the dogge, Let vs be worried, and our Nation lose The name of hardinesse and policie King. Call in the Messengers sent from the Dolphin. Now are we well resolu'd, and by Gods helpe And yours, the noble sinewes of our power, France being ours, wee'l bend it to our Awe, Or breake it all to peeces. Or there wee'l sit, (Ruling in large and ample Emperie, Ore France, and all her (almost) Kingly Dukedomes) Or lay these bones in an vnworthy Vrne, Tomblesse, with no remembrance ouer them: Either our History shall with full mouth Speake freely of our Acts, or else our graue Like Turkish mute, shall haue a tonguelesse mouth, Not worshipt with a waxen Epitaph. Enter Ambassadors of France. Now are we well prepar'd to know the pleasure Of our faire Cosin Dolphin: for we heare, Your greeting is from him, not from the King Amb. May't please your Maiestie to giue vs leaue Freely to render what we haue in charge: Or shall we sparingly shew you farre off The Dolphins meaning, and our Embassie King. We are no Tyrant, but a Christian King, Vnto whose grace our passion is as subiect As is our wretches fettred in our prisons, Therefore with franke and with vncurbed plainnesse, Tell vs the Dolphins minde Amb. Thus than in few: Your Highnesse lately sending into France, Did claime some certaine Dukedomes, in the right Of your great Predecessor, King Edward the third. In answer of which claime, the Prince our Master Sayes, that you sauour too much of your youth, And bids you be aduis'd: There's nought in France, That can be with a nimble Galliard wonne: You cannot reuell into Dukedomes there. He therefore sends you meeter for your spirit This Tun of Treasure; and in lieu of this, Desires you let the dukedomes that you claime Heare no more of you. This the Dolphin speakes King. What Treasure Vncle? Exe. Tennis balles, my Liege Kin. We are glad the Dolphin is so pleasant with vs, His Present, and your paines we thanke you for: When we haue matcht our Rackets to these Balles, We will in France (by Gods grace) play a set, Shall strike his fathers Crowne into the hazard. Tell him, he hath made a match with such a Wrangler, That all the Courts of France will be disturb'd With Chaces. And we vnderstand him well, How he comes o're vs with our wilder dayes, Not measuring what vse we made of them. We neuer valew'd this poore seate of England, And therefore liuing hence, did giue our selfe To barbarous license: As 'tis euer common, That men are merriest, when they are from home. But tell the Dolphin, I will keepe my State, Be like a King, and shew my sayle of Greatnesse, When I do rowse me in my Throne of France. For that I haue layd by my Maiestie, And plodded like a man for working dayes: But I will rise there with so full a glorie, That I will dazle all the eyes of France, Yea strike the Dolphin blinde to looke on vs, And tell the pleasant Prince, this Mocke of his Hath turn'd his balles to Gun-stones, and his soule Shall stand sore charged, for the wastefull vengeance That shall flye with them: for many a thousand widows Shall this his Mocke, mocke out of their deer husbands; Mocke mothers from their sonnes, mock Castles downe: And some are yet vngotten and vnborne, That shal haue cause to curse the Dolphins scorne. But this lyes all within the wil of God, To whom I do appeale, and in whose name Tel you the Dolphin, I am comming on, To venge me as I may, and to put forth My rightfull hand in a wel-hallow'd cause. So get you hence in peace: And tell the Dolphin, His Iest will sauour but of shallow wit, When thousands weepe more then did laugh at it. Conuey them with safe conduct. Fare you well. Exeunt. Ambassadors. Exe. This was a merry Message King. We hope to make the Sender blush at it: Therefore, my Lords, omit no happy howre, That may giue furth'rance to our Expedition: For we haue now no thought in vs but France, Saue those to God, that runne before our businesse. Therefore let our proportions for these Warres Be soone collected, and all things thought vpon, That may with reasonable swiftnesse adde More Feathers to our Wings: for God before, Wee'le chide this Dolphin at his fathers doore. Therefore let euery man now taske his thought, That this faire Action may on foot be brought. Exeunt. Flourish. Enter Chorus. Now all the Youth of England are on fire, And silken Dalliance in the Wardrobe lyes: Now thriue the Armorers, and Honors thought Reignes solely in the breast of euery man. They sell the Pasture now, to buy the Horse; Following the Mirror of all Christian Kings, With winged heeles, as English Mercuries. For now sits Expectation in the Ayre, And hides a Sword, from Hilts vnto the Point, With Crownes Imperiall, Crownes and Coronets, Promis'd to Harry, and his followers. The French aduis'd by good intelligence Of this most dreadfull preparation, Shake in their feare, and with pale Pollicy Seeke to diuert the English purposes. O England: Modell to thy inward Greatnesse, Like little Body with a mightie Heart: What mightst thou do, that honour would thee do, Were all thy children kinde and naturall: But see, thy fault France hath in thee found out, A nest of hollow bosomes, which he filles With treacherous Crownes, and three corrupted men: One, Richard Earle of Cambridge, and the second Henry Lord Scroope of Masham, and the third Sir Thomas Grey Knight of Northumberland, Haue for the Gilt of France (O guilt indeed) Confirm'd Conspiracy with fearefull France, And by their hands, this grace of Kings must dye. If Hell and Treason hold their promises, Ere he take ship for France; and in Southampton. Linger your patience on, and wee'l digest Th' abuse of distance; force a play: The summe is payde, the Traitors are agreed, The King is set from London, and the Scene Is now transported (Gentles) to Southampton, There is the Play-house now, there must you sit, And thence to France shall we conuey you safe, And bring you backe: Charming the narrow seas To giue you gentle Passe: for if we may, Wee'l not offend one stomacke with our Play. But till the King come forth, and not till then, Vnto Southampton do we shift our Scene. Exit Enter Corporall Nym, and Lieutenant Bardolfe. Bar. Well met Corporall Nym Nym. Good morrow Lieutenant Bardolfe Bar. What, are Ancient Pistoll and you friends yet? Nym. For my part, I care not: I say little: but when time shall serue, there shall be smiles, but that shall be as it may. I dare not fight, but I will winke and holde out mine yron: it is a simple one, but what though? It will toste Cheese, and it will endure cold, as another mans sword will: and there's an end Bar. I will bestow a breakfast to make you friendes, and wee'l bee all three sworne brothers to France: Let't be so good Corporall Nym Nym. Faith, I will liue so long as I may, that's the certaine of it: and when I cannot liue any longer, I will doe as I may: That is my rest, that is the rendeuous of it Bar. It is certaine Corporall, that he is marryed to Nell Quickly, and certainly she did you wrong, for you were troth-plight to her Nym. I cannot tell, Things must be as they may: men may sleepe, and they may haue their throats about them at that time, and some say, kniues haue edges: It must be as it may, though patience be a tyred name, yet shee will plodde, there must be Conclusions, well, I cannot tell. Enter Pistoll, & Quickly. Bar. Heere comes Ancient Pistoll and his wife: good Corporall be patient heere. How now mine Hoaste Pistoll? Pist. Base Tyke, cal'st thou mee Hoste, now by this hand I sweare I scorne the terme: nor shall my Nel keep Lodgers Host. No by my troth, not long: For we cannot lodge and board a dozen or fourteene Gentlewomen that liue honestly by the pricke of their Needles, but it will bee thought we keepe a Bawdy-house straight. O welliday Lady, if he be not hewne now, we shall see wilful adultery and murther committed Bar. Good Lieutenant, good Corporal offer nothing heere Nym. Pish Pist. Pish for thee, Island dogge: thou prickeard cur of Island Host. Good Corporall Nym shew thy valor, and put vp your sword Nym. Will you shogge off? I would haue you solus Pist. Solus, egregious dog? O Viper vile; The solus in thy most meruailous face, the solus in thy teeth, and in thy throate, and in thy hatefull Lungs, yea in thy Maw perdy; and which is worse, within thy nastie mouth. I do retort the solus in thy bowels, for I can take, and Pistols cocke is vp, and flashing fire will follow Nym. I am not Barbason, you cannot coniure mee: I haue an humor to knocke you indifferently well: If you grow fowle with me Pistoll, I will scoure you with my Rapier, as I may, in fayre tearmes. If you would walke off, I would pricke your guts a little in good tearmes, as I may, and that's the humor of it Pist. O Braggard vile, and damned furious wight, The Graue doth gape, and doting death is neere, Therefore exhale Bar. Heare me, heare me what I say: Hee that strikes the first stroake, Ile run him vp to the hilts, as I am a soldier Pist. An oath of mickle might, and fury shall abate. Giue me thy fist, thy fore-foote to me giue: Thy spirites are most tall Nym. I will cut thy throate one time or other in faire termes, that is the humor of it Pistoll. Couple a gorge, that is the word. I defie thee againe. O hound of Creet, think'st thou my spouse to get? No, to the spittle goe, and from the Poudring tub of infamy, fetch forth the Lazar Kite of Cressids kinde, Doll Teare-sheete, she by name, and her espouse. I haue, and I will hold the Quondam Quickely for the onely shee: and Pauca, there's enough to go to. Enter the Boy. Boy. Mine Hoast Pistoll, you must come to my Mayster, and your Hostesse: He is very sicke, & would to bed. Good Bardolfe, put thy face betweene his sheets, and do the Office of a Warming-pan: Faith, he's very ill Bard. Away you Rogue Host. By my troth he'l yeeld the Crow a pudding one of these dayes: the King has kild his heart. Good Husband come home presently. Exit Bar. Come, shall I make you two friends. Wee must to France together: why the diuel should we keep kniues to cut one anothers throats? Pist. Let floods ore-swell, and fiends for food howle on Nym. You'l pay me the eight shillings I won of you at Betting? Pist. Base is the Slaue that payes Nym. That now I wil haue: that's the humor of it Pist. As manhood shal compound: push home. Draw Bard. By this sword, hee that makes the first thrust, Ile kill him: By this sword, I wil Pi. Sword is an Oath, & Oaths must haue their course Bar. Coporall Nym, & thou wilt be friends be frends, and thou wilt not, why then be enemies with me to: prethee put vp Pist. A Noble shalt thou haue, and present pay, and Liquor likewise will I giue to thee, and friendshippe shall combyne, and brotherhood. Ile liue by Nymme, & Nymme shall liue by me, is not this iust? For I shal Sutler be vnto the Campe, and profits will accrue. Giue mee thy hand Nym. I shall haue my Noble? Pist. In cash, most iustly payd Nym. Well, then that the humor of't. Enter Hostesse. Host. As euer you come of women, come in quickly to sir Iohn: A poore heart, hee is so shak'd of a burning quotidian Tertian, that it is most lamentable to behold. Sweet men, come to him Nym. The King hath run bad humors on the Knight, that's the euen of it Pist. Nym, thou hast spoke the right, his heart is fracted and corroborate Nym. The King is a good King, but it must bee as it may: he passes some humors, and carreeres Pist. Let vs condole the Knight, for (Lambekins) we will liue. Enter Exeter, Bedford, & Westmerland. Bed. Fore God his Grace is bold to trust these traitors Exe. They shall be apprehended by and by West. How smooth and euen they do bear themselues, As if allegeance in their bosomes sate Crowned with faith, and constant loyalty Bed. The King hath note of all that they intend, By interception, which they dreame not of Exe. Nay, but the man that was his bedfellow, Whom he hath dull'd and cloy'd with gracious fauours; That he should for a forraigne purse, so sell His Soueraignes life to death and treachery. Sound Trumpets. Enter the King, Scroope, Cambridge, and Gray. King. Now sits the winde faire, and we will aboord. My Lord of Cambridge, and my kinde Lord of Masham, And you my gentle Knight, giue me your thoughts: Thinke you not that the powres we beare with vs Will cut their passage through the force of France? Doing the execution, and the acte, For which we haue in head assembled them Scro. No doubt my Liege, if each man do his best King. I doubt not that, since we are well perswaded We carry not a heart with vs from hence, That growes not in a faire consent with ours: Nor leaue not one behinde, that doth not wish Successe and Conquest to attend on vs Cam. Neuer was Monarch better fear'd and lou'd, Then is your Maiesty; there's not I thinke a subiect That sits in heart-greefe and vneasinesse Vnder the sweet shade of your gouernment Kni. True: those that were your Fathers enemies, Haue steep'd their gauls in hony, and do serue you With hearts create of duty, and of zeale King. We therefore haue great cause of thankfulnes, And shall forget the office of our hand Sooner then quittance of desert and merit, According to the weight and worthinesse Scro. So seruice shall with steeled sinewes toyle, And labour shall refresh it selfe with hope To do your Grace incessant seruices King. We Iudge no lesse. Vnkle of Exeter, Inlarge the man committed yesterday, That rayl'd against our person: We consider It was excesse of Wine that set him on, And on his more aduice, We pardon him Scro. That's mercy, but too much security: Let him be punish'd Soueraigne, least example Breed (by his sufferance) more of such a kind King. O let vs yet be mercifull Cam. So may your Highnesse, and yet punish too Grey. Sir, you shew great mercy if you giue him life, After the taste of much correction King. Alas, your too much loue and care of me, Are heauy Orisons 'gainst this poore wretch: If little faults proceeding on distemper, Shall not be wink'd at, how shall we stretch our eye When capitall crimes, chew'd, swallow'd, and digested, Appeare before vs? Wee'l yet inlarge that man, Though Cambridge, Scroope, and Gray, in their deere care And tender preseruation of our person Wold haue him punish'd. And now to our French causes, Who are the late Commissioners? Cam. I one my Lord, Your Highnesse bad me aske for it to day Scro. So did you me my Liege Gray. And I my Royall Soueraigne King. Then Richard Earle of Cambridge, there is yours: There yours Lord Scroope of Masham, and Sir Knight: Gray of Northumberland, this same is yours: Reade them, and know I know your worthinesse. My Lord of Westmerland, and Vnkle Exeter, We will aboord to night. Why how now Gentlemen? What see you in those papers, that you loose So much complexion? Looke ye how they change: Their cheekes are paper. Why, what reade you there, That haue so cowarded and chac'd your blood Out of apparance Cam. I do confesse my fault, And do submit me to your Highnesse mercy Gray. Scro. To which we all appeale King. The mercy that was quicke in vs but late, By your owne counsaile is supprest and kill'd: You must not dare (for shame) to talke of mercy, For your owne reasons turne into your bosomes, As dogs vpon their maisters, worrying you: See you my Princes, and my Noble Peeres, These English monsters: My Lord of Cambridge heere, You know how apt our loue was, to accord To furnish with all appertinents Belonging to his Honour; and this man, Hath for a few light Crownes, lightly conspir'd And sworne vnto the practises of France To kill vs heere in Hampton. To the which, This Knight no lesse for bounty bound to Vs Then Cambridge is, hath likewise sworne. But O, What shall I say to thee Lord Scroope, thou cruell, Ingratefull, sauage, and inhumane Creature? Thou that didst beare the key of all my counsailes, That knew'st the very bottome of my soule, That (almost) might'st haue coyn'd me into Golde, Would'st thou haue practis'd on me, for thy vse? May it be possible, that forraigne hyer Could out of thee extract one sparke of euill That might annoy my finger? 'Tis so strange, That though the truth of it stands off as grosse As black and white, my eye will scarsely see it. Treason, and murther, euer kept together, As two yoake diuels sworne to eythers purpose, Working so grossely in an naturall cause, That admiration did not hoope at them. But thou (gainst all proportion) didst bring in Wonder to waite on treason, and on murther: And whatsoeuer cunning fiend it was That wrought vpon thee so preposterously, Hath got the voyce in hell for excellence: And other diuels that suggest by treasons, Do botch and bungle vp damnation, With patches, colours, and with formes being fetcht From glist'ring semblances of piety: But he that temper'd thee, bad thee stand vp, Gaue thee no instance why thou shouldst do treason, Vnlesse to dub thee with the name of Traitor. If that same Daemon that hath gull'd thee thus, Should with his Lyon-gate walke the whole world, He might returne to vastie Tartar backe, And tell the Legions, I can neuer win A soule so easie as that Englishmans. Oh, how hast thou with iealousie infected The sweetnesse of affiance? Shew men dutifull, Why so didst thou: seeme they graue and learned? Why so didst thou. Come they of Noble Family? Why so didst thou. Seeme they religious? Why so didst thou. Or are they spare in diet, Free from grosse passion, or of mirth, or anger, Constant in spirit, not sweruing with the blood, Garnish'd and deck'd in modest complement, Not working with the eye, without the eare, And but in purged iudgement trusting neither, Such and so finely boulted didst thou seeme: And thus thy fall hath left a kinde of blot, To make thee full fraught man, and best indued With some suspition, I will weepe for thee. For this reuolt of thine, me thinkes is like Another fall of Man. Their faults are open, Arrest them to the answer of the Law, And God acquit them of their practises Exe. I arrest thee of High Treason, by the name of Richard Earle of Cambridge. I arrest thee of High Treason, by the name of Thomas Lord Scroope of Marsham. I arrest thee of High Treason, by the name of Thomas Grey, Knight of Northumberland Scro. Our purposes, God iustly hath discouer'd, And I repent my fault more then my death, Which I beseech your Highnesse to forgiue, Although my body pay the price of it Cam. For me, the Gold of France did not seduce, Although I did admit it as a motiue, The sooner to effect what I intended: But God be thanked for preuention, Which in sufferance heartily will reioyce, Beseeching God, and you, to pardon mee Gray. Neuer did faithfull subiect more reioyce At the discouery of most dangerous Treason, Then I do at this houre ioy ore my selfe, Preuented from a damned enterprize; My fault, but not my body, pardon Soueraigne King. God quit you in his mercy: Hear your sentence You haue conspir'd against Our Royall person, Ioyn'd with an enemy proclaim'd, and from his Coffers, Receyu'd the Golden Earnest of Our death: Wherein you would haue sold your King to slaughter, His Princes, and his Peeres to seruitude, His Subiects to oppression, and contempt, And his whole Kingdome into desolation: Touching our person, seeke we no reuenge, But we our Kingdomes safety must so tender, Whose ruine you sought, that to her Lawes We do deliuer you. Get you therefore hence, (Poore miserable wretches) to your death: The taste whereof, God of his mercy giue You patience to indure, and true Repentance Of all your deare offences. Beare them hence. Enter. Now Lords for France: the enterprise whereof Shall be to you as vs, like glorious. We doubt not of a faire and luckie Warre, Since God so graciously hath brought to light This dangerous Treason, lurking in our way, To hinder our beginnings. We doubt not now, But euery Rubbe is smoothed on our way. Then forth, deare Countreymen: Let vs deliuer Our Puissance into the hand of God, Putting it straight in expedition. Chearely to Sea, the signes of Warre aduance, No King of England, if not King of France. Flourish. Enter Pistoll, Nim, Bardolph, Boy, and Hostesse. Hostesse. 'Prythee honey sweet Husband, let me bring thee to Staines Pistoll. No: for my manly heart doth erne. Bardolph, be blythe: Nim, rowse thy vaunting Veines: Boy, brissle thy Courage vp: for Falstaffe hee is dead, and wee must erne therefore Bard. Would I were with him, wheresomere hee is, eyther in Heauen, or in Hell Hostesse. Nay sure, hee's not in Hell: hee's in Arthurs Bosome, if euer man went to Arthurs Bosome: a made a finer end, and went away and it had beene any Christome Childe: a parted eu'n iust betweene Twelue and One, eu'n at the turning o'th' Tyde: for after I saw him fumble with the Sheets, and play with Flowers, and smile vpon his fingers end, I knew there was but one way: for his Nose was as sharpe as a Pen, and a Table of greene fields. How now Sir Iohn (quoth I?) what man? be a good cheare: so a cryed out, God, God, God, three or foure times: now I, to comfort him, bid him a should not thinke of God; I hop'd there was no neede to trouble himselfe with any such thoughts yet: so a bad me lay more Clothes on his feet: I put my hand into the Bed, and felt them, and they were as cold as any stone: then I felt to his knees, and so vp-peer'd, and vpward, and all was as cold as any stone Nim. They say he cryed out of Sack Hostesse. I, that a did Bard. And of Women Hostesse. Nay, that a did not Boy. Yes that a did, and said they were Deules incarnate Woman. A could neuer abide Carnation, 'twas a Colour he neuer lik'd Boy. A said once, the Deule would haue him about Women Hostesse. A did in some sort (indeed) handle Women: but then hee was rumatique, and talk'd of the Whore of Babylon Boy. Doe you not remember a saw a Flea sticke vpon Bardolphs Nose, and a said it was a blacke Soule burning in Hell Bard. Well, the fuell is gone that maintain'd that fire: that's all the Riches I got in his seruice Nim. Shall wee shogg? the King will be gone from Southampton Pist. Come, let's away. My Loue, giue me thy Lippes: Looke to my Chattels, and my Moueables: Let Sences rule: The world is, Pitch and pay: trust none: for Oathes are Strawes, mens Faiths are Wafer-Cakes, and hold-fast is the onely Dogge: My Ducke, therefore Caueto bee thy Counsailor. Goe, cleare thy Chrystalls. Yokefellowes in Armes, let vs to France, like Horseleeches my Boyes, to sucke, to sucke, the very blood to sucke Boy. And that's but vnwholesome food, they say Pist. Touch her soft mouth, and march Bard. Farwell Hostesse Nim. I cannot kisse, that is the humor of it: but adieu Pist. Let Huswiferie appeare: keepe close, I thee command Hostesse. Farwell: adieu. Exeunt. Flourish. Enter the French King, the Dolphin, the Dukes of Berry and Britaine. King. Thus comes the English with full power vpon vs, And more then carefully it vs concernes, To answer Royally in our defences. Therefore the Dukes of Berry and of Britaine, Of Brabant and of Orleance, shall make forth, And you Prince Dolphin, with all swift dispatch To lyne and new repayre our Townes of Warre With men of courage, and with meanes defendant: For England his approaches makes as fierce, As Waters to the sucking of a Gulfe. It fits vs then to be as prouident, As feare may teach vs, out of late examples Left by the fatall and neglected English, Vpon our fields Dolphin. My most redoubted Father, It is most meet we arme vs 'gainst the Foe: For Peace it selfe should not so dull a Kingdome, (Though War nor no knowne Quarrel were in question) But that Defences, Musters, Preparations, Should be maintain'd, assembled, and collected, As were a Warre in expectation. Therefore I say, 'tis meet we all goe forth, To view the sick and feeble parts of France: And let vs doe it with no shew of feare, No, with no more, then if we heard that England Were busied with a Whitson Morris-dance: For, my good Liege, shee is so idly King'd, Her Scepter so phantastically borne, By a vaine giddie shallow humorous Youth, That feare attends her not Const. O peace, Prince Dolphin, You are too much mistaken in this King: Question your Grace the late Embassadors, With what great State he heard their Embassie, How well supply'd with Noble Councellors, How modest in exception; and withall, How terrible in constant resolution: And you shall find, his Vanities fore-spent, Were but the out-side of the Roman Brutus, Couering Discretion with a Coat of Folly; As Gardeners doe with Ordure hide those Roots That shall first spring, and be most delicate Dolphin. Well, 'tis not so, my Lord High Constable. But though we thinke it so, it is no matter: In cases of defence, 'tis best to weigh The Enemie more mightie then he seemes, So the proportions of defence are fill'd: Which of a weake and niggardly proiection, Doth like a Miser spoyle his Coat, with scanting A little Cloth King. Thinke we King Harry strong: And Princes, looke you strongly arme to meet him. The Kindred of him hath beene flesht vpon vs: And he is bred out of that bloodie straine, That haunted vs in our familiar Pathes: Witnesse our too much memorable shame, When Cressy Battell fatally was strucke, And all our Princes captiu'd, by the hand Of that black Name, Edward, black Prince of Wales: Whiles that his Mountaine Sire, on Mountaine standing Vp in the Ayre, crown'd with the Golden Sunne, Saw his Heroicall Seed, and smil'd to see him Mangle the Worke of Nature, and deface The Patternes, that by God and by French Fathers Had twentie yeeres been made. This is a Stem Of that Victorious Stock: and let vs feare The Natiue mightinesse and fate of him. Enter a Messenger. Mess. Embassadors from Harry King of England, Doe craue admittance to your Maiestie King. Weele giue them present audience. Goe, and bring them. You see this Chase is hotly followed, friends Dolphin. Turne head, and stop pursuit: for coward Dogs Most spend their mouths, whe[n] what they seem to threaten Runs farre before them. Good my Soueraigne Take vp the English short, and let them know Of what a Monarchie you are the Head: Selfe-loue, my Liege, is not so vile a sinne, As selfe-neglecting. Enter Exeter. King. From our Brother of England? Exe. From him, and thus he greets your Maiestie: He wills you in the Name of God Almightie, That you deuest your selfe, and lay apart The borrowed Glories, that by gift of Heauen, By Law of Nature, and of Nations, longs To him and to his Heires, namely, the Crowne, And all wide-stretched Honors, that pertaine By Custome, and the Ordinance of Times, Vnto the Crowne of France: that you may know 'Tis no sinister, nor no awkward Clayme, Pickt from the worme-holes of long-vanisht dayes, Nor from the dust of old Obliuion rakt, He sends you this most memorable Lyne, In euery Branch truly demonstratiue; Willing you ouer-looke this Pedigree: And when you find him euenly deriu'd From his most fam'd, of famous Ancestors, Edward the third; he bids you then resigne Your Crowne and Kingdome, indirectly held From him, the Natiue and true Challenger King. Or else what followes? Exe. Bloody constraint: for if you hide the Crowne Euen in your hearts, there will he rake for it. Therefore in fierce Tempest is he comming, In Thunder and in Earth-quake, like a Ioue: That if requiring faile, he will compell. And bids you, in the Bowels of the Lord, Deliuer vp the Crowne, and to take mercie On the poore Soules, for whom this hungry Warre Opens his vastie Iawes: and on your head Turning the Widdowes Teares, the Orphans Cryes, The dead-mens Blood, the priuy Maidens Groanes, For Husbands, Fathers, and betrothed Louers, That shall be swallowed in this Controuersie. This is his Clayme, his Threatning, and my Message: Vnlesse the Dolphin be in presence here; To whom expressely I bring greeting to King. For vs, we will consider of this further: To morrow shall you beare our full intent Back to our Brother of England Dolph. For the Dolphin, I stand here for him: what to him from England? Exe. Scorne and defiance, sleight regard, contempt, And any thing that may not mis-become The mightie Sender, doth he prize you at. Thus sayes my King: and if your Fathers Highnesse Doe not, in graunt of all demands at large, Sweeten the bitter Mock you sent his Maiestie; Hee'le call you to so hot an Answer of it, That Caues and Wombie Vaultages of France Shall chide your Trespas, and returne your Mock In second Accent of his Ordinance Dolph. Say: if my Father render faire returne, It is against my will: for I desire Nothing but Oddes with England. To that end, as matching to his Youth and Vanitie, I did present him with the Paris-Balls Exe. Hee'le make your Paris Louer shake for it, Were it the Mistresse Court of mightie Europe: And be assur'd, you'le find a diff'rence, As we his Subiects haue in wonder found, Betweene the promise of his greener dayes, And these he masters now: now he weighes Time Euen to the vtmost Graine: that you shall reade In your owne Losses, if he stay in France King. To morrow shall you know our mind at full. Flourish. Exe. Dispatch vs with all speed, least that our King Come here himselfe to question our delay; For he is footed in this Land already King. You shalbe soone dispatcht, with faire conditions. A Night is but small breathe, and little pawse, To answer matters of this consequence. Exeunt. Actus Secundus. Flourish. Enter Chorus. Thus with imagin'd wing our swift Scene flyes, In motion of no lesse celeritie then that of Thought. Suppose, that you haue seene The well-appointed King at Douer Peer, Embarke his Royaltie: and his braue Fleet, With silken Streamers, the young Phebus fayning; Play with your Fancies: and in them behold, Vpon the Hempen Tackle, Ship-boyes climbing; Heare the shrill Whistle, which doth order giue To sounds confus'd: behold the threaden Sayles, Borne with th' inuisible and creeping Wind, Draw the huge Bottomes through the furrowed Sea, Bresting the loftie Surge. O, doe but thinke You stand vpon the Riuage, and behold A Citie on th' inconstant Billowes dauncing: For so appeares this Fleet Maiesticall, Holding due course to Harflew. Follow, follow: Grapple your minds to sternage of this Nauie, And leaue your England as dead Mid-night, still, Guarded with Grandsires, Babyes, and old Women, Eyther past, or not arriu'd to pyth and puissance: For who is he, whose Chin is but enricht With one appearing Hayre, that will not follow These cull'd and choyse-drawne Caualiers to France? Worke, worke your Thoughts, and therein see a Siege: Behold the Ordenance on their Carriages, With fatall mouthes gaping on girded Harflew. Suppose th' Embassador from the French comes back: Tells Harry, That the King doth offer him Katherine his Daughter, and with her to Dowrie, Some petty and vnprofitable Dukedomes. The offer likes not: and the nimble Gunner With Lynstock now the diuellish Cannon touches, Alarum, and Chambers goe off. And downe goes all before them. Still be kind, And eech out our performance with your mind. Enter. Enter the King, Exeter, Bedford, and Gloucester. Alarum: Scaling Ladders at Harflew. King. Once more vnto the Breach, Deare friends, once more; Or close the Wall vp with our English dead: In Peace, there's nothing so becomes a man, As modest stillnesse, and humilitie: But when the blast of Warre blowes in our eares, Then imitate the action of the Tyger: Stiffen the sinewes, commune vp the blood, Disguise faire Nature with hard-fauour'd Rage: Then lend the Eye a terrible aspect: Let it pry through the portage of the Head, Like the Brasse Cannon: let the Brow o'rewhelme it, As fearefully, as doth a galled Rocke O're-hang and iutty his confounded Base, Swill'd with the wild and wastfull Ocean. Now set the Teeth, and stretch the Nosthrill wide, Hold hard the Breath, and bend vp euery Spirit To his full height. On, on, you Noblish English, Whose blood is fet from Fathers of Warre-proofe: Fathers, that like so many Alexanders, Haue in these parts from Morne till Euen fought, And sheath'd their Swords, for lack of argument. Dishonour not your Mothers: now attest, That those whom you call'd Fathers, did beget you. Be Coppy now to men of grosser blood, And teach them how to Warre. And you good Yeomen, Whose Lyms were made in England; shew vs here The mettell of your Pasture: let vs sweare, That you are worth your breeding: which I doubt not: For there is none of you so meane and base, That hath not Noble luster in your eyes. I see you stand like Grey-hounds in the slips, Straying vpon the Start. The Game's afoot: Follow your Spirit; and vpon this Charge, Cry, God for Harry, England, and S[aint]. George. Alarum, and Chambers goe off. Enter Nim, Bardolph, Pistoll, and Boy. Bard. On, on, on, on, on, to the breach, to the breach Nim. 'Pray thee Corporall stay, the Knocks are too hot: and for mine owne part, I haue not a Case of Liues: the humor of it is too hot, that is the very plaine-Song of it Pist. The plaine-Song is most iust: for humors doe abound: Knocks goe and come: Gods Vassals drop and dye: and Sword and Shield, in bloody Field, doth winne immortall fame Boy. Would I were in a Ale-house in London, I would giue all my fame for a Pot of Ale, and safetie Pist. And I: If wishes would preuayle with me, my purpose should not fayle with me; but thither would I high Boy. As duly, but not as truly, as Bird doth sing on bough. Enter Fluellen. Flu. Vp to the breach, you Dogges; auaunt you Cullions Pist. Be mercifull great Duke to men of Mould: abate thy Rage, abate thy manly Rage; abate thy Rage, great Duke. Good Bawcock bate thy Rage: vse lenitie sweet Chuck Nim. These be good humors: your Honor wins bad humors. Enter. Boy. As young as I am, I haue obseru'd these three Swashers: I am Boy to them all three, but all they three, though they would serue me, could not be Man to me; for indeed three such Antiques doe not amount to a man: for Bardolph, hee is white-liuer'd, and red-fac'd; by the meanes whereof, a faces it out, but fights not: for Pistoll, hee hath a killing Tongue, and a quiet Sword; by the meanes whereof, a breakes Words, and keepes whole Weapons: for Nim, hee hath heard, that men of few Words are the best men, and therefore hee scornes to say his Prayers, lest a should be thought a Coward: but his few bad Words are matcht with as few good Deeds; for a neuer broke any mans Head but his owne, and that was against a Post, when he was drunke. They will steale any thing, and call it Purchase. Bardolph stole a Lute-case, bore it twelue Leagues, and sold it for three halfepence. Nim and Bardolph are sworne Brothers in filching: and in Callice they stole a fire-shouell. I knew by that peece of Seruice, the men would carry Coales. They would haue me as familiar with mens Pockets, as their Gloues or their Hand-kerchers: which makes much against my Manhood, if I should take from anothers Pocket, to put into mine; for it is plaine pocketting vp of Wrongs. I must leaue them, and seeke some better Seruice: their Villany goes against my weake stomacke, and therefore I must cast it vp. Enter. Enter Gower. Gower. Captaine Fluellen, you must come presently to the Mynes; the Duke of Gloucester would speake with you Flu. To the Mynes? Tell you the Duke, it is not so good to come to the Mynes: for looke you, the Mynes is not according to the disciplines of the Warre; the concauities of it is not sufficient: for looke you, th' athuersarie, you may discusse vnto the Duke, looke you, is digt himselfe foure yard vnder the Countermines: by Cheshu, I thinke a will plowe vp all, if there is not better directions Gower. The Duke of Gloucester, to whom the Order of the Siege is giuen, is altogether directed by an Irish man, a very valiant Gentleman yfaith Welch. It is Captaine Makmorrice, is it not? Gower. I thinke it be Welch. By Cheshu he is an Asse, as in the World, I will verifie as much in his Beard: he ha's no more directions in the true disciplines of the Warres, looke you, of the Roman disciplines, then is a Puppy-dog. Enter Makmorrice, and Captaine Iamy. Gower. Here a comes, and the Scots Captaine, Captaine Iamy, with him Welch. Captaine Iamy is a maruellous falorous Gentleman, that is certain, and of great expedition and knowledge in th' aunchiant Warres, vpon my particular knowledge of his directions: by Cheshu he will maintaine his Argument as well as any Militarie man in the World, in the disciplines of the Pristine Warres of the Romans Scot. I say gudday, Captaine Fluellen Welch. Godden to your Worship, good Captaine Iames Gower. How now Captaine Mackmorrice, haue you quit the Mynes? haue the Pioners giuen o're? Irish. By Chrish Law tish ill done: the Worke ish giue ouer, the Trompet sound the Retreat. By my Hand I sweare, and my fathers Soule, the Worke ish ill done: it ish giue ouer: I would haue blowed vp the Towne, so Chrish saue me law, in an houre. O tish ill done, tish ill done: by my Hand tish ill done Welch. Captaine Mackmorrice, I beseech you now, will you voutsafe me, looke you, a few disputations with you, as partly touching or concerning the disciplines of the Warre, the Roman Warres, in the way of Argument, looke you, and friendly communication: partly to satisfie my Opinion, and partly for the satisfaction, looke you, of my Mind: as touching the direction of the Militarie discipline, that is the Point Scot. It sall be vary gud, gud feith, gud Captens bath, and I sall quit you with gud leue, as I may pick occasion: that sall I mary Irish. It is no time to discourse, so Chrish saue me: the day is hot, and the Weather, and the Warres, and the King, and the Dukes: it is no time to discourse, the Town is beseech'd: and the Trumpet call vs to the breech, and we talke, and be Chrish do nothing, tis shame for vs all: so God sa'me tis shame to stand still, it is shame by my hand: and there is Throats to be cut, and Workes to be done, and there ish nothing done, so Christ sa'me law Scot. By the Mes, ere theise eyes of mine take themselues to slomber, ayle de gud seruice, or Ile ligge i'th' grund for it; ay, or goe to death: and Ile pay't as valorously as I may, that sal I suerly do, that is the breff and the long: mary, I wad full faine heard some question tween you tway Welch. Captaine Mackmorrice, I thinke, looke you, vnder your correction, there is not many of your Nation Irish. Of my Nation? What ish my Nation? Ish a Villaine, and a Basterd, and a Knaue, and a Rascall. What ish my Nation? Who talkes of my Nation? Welch. Looke you, if you take the matter otherwise then is meant, Captaine Mackmorrice, peraduenture I shall thinke you doe not vse me with that affabilitie, as in discretion you ought to vse me, looke you, being as good a man as your selfe, both in the disciplines of Warre, and in the deriuation of my Birth, and in other particularities Irish. I doe not know you so good a man as my selfe: so Chrish saue me, I will cut off your Head Gower. Gentlemen both, you will mistake each other Scot. A, that's a foule fault. A Parley. Gower. The Towne sounds a Parley Welch. Captaine Mackmorrice, when there is more better oportunitie to be required, looke you, I will be so bold as to tell you, I know the disciplines of Warre: and there is an end. Enter. Enter the King and all his Traine before the Gates. King. How yet resolues the Gouernour of the Towne? This is the latest Parle we will admit: Therefore to our best mercy giue your selues, Or like to men prowd of destruction, Defie vs to our worst: for as I am a Souldier, A Name that in my thoughts becomes me best; If I begin the batt'rie once againe, I will not leaue the halfe-atchieued Harflew, Till in her ashes she lye buryed. The Gates of Mercy shall be all shut vp, And the flesh'd Souldier, rough and hard of heart, In libertie of bloody hand, shall raunge With Conscience wide as Hell, mowing like Grasse Your fresh faire Virgins, and your flowring Infants. What is it then to me, if impious Warre, Arrayed in flames like to the Prince of Fiends, Doe with his smyrcht complexion all fell feats, Enlynckt to wast and desolation? What is't to me, when you your selues are cause, If your pure Maydens fall into the hand Of hot and forcing Violation? What Reyne can hold licentious Wickednesse, When downe the Hill he holds his fierce Carriere? We may as bootlesse spend our vaine Command Vpon th' enraged Souldiers in their spoyle, As send Precepts to the Leuiathan, to come ashore. Therefore, you men of Harflew, Take pitty of your Towne and of your People, Whiles yet my Souldiers are in my Command, Whiles yet the coole and temperate Wind of Grace O're-blowes the filthy and contagious Clouds Of heady Murther, Spoyle, and Villany. If not: why in a moment looke to see The blind and bloody Souldier, with foule hand Desire the Locks of your shrill-shriking Daughters: Your Fathers taken by the siluer Beards, And their most reuerend Heads dasht to the Walls: Your naked Infants spitted vpon Pykes, Whiles the mad Mothers, with their howles confus'd, Doe breake the Clouds; as did the Wiues of Iewry, At Herods bloody-hunting slaughter-men. What say you? Will you yeeld, and this auoyd? Or guiltie in defence, be thus destroy'd. Enter Gouernour. Gouer. Our expectation hath this day an end: The Dolphin, whom of Succours we entreated, Returnes vs, that his Powers are yet not ready, To rayse so great a Siege: Therefore great King, We yeeld our Towne and Liues to thy soft Mercy: Enter our Gates, dispose of vs and ours, For we no longer are defensible King. Open your Gates: Come Vnckle Exeter, Goe you and enter Harflew; there remaine, And fortifie it strongly 'gainst the French: Vse mercy to them all for vs, deare Vnckle. The Winter comming on, and Sicknesse growing Vpon our Souldiers, we will retyre to Calis. To night in Harflew will we be your Guest, To morrow for the March are we addrest. Flourish, and enter the Towne. Enter Katherine and an old Gentlewoman. Kathe. Alice, tu as este en Angleterre, & tu bien parlas le Language Alice. En peu Madame Kath. Ie te prie m' ensigniez, il faut que ie apprend a parlen: Comient appelle vous le main en Anglois? Alice. Le main il & appelle de Hand Kath. De Hand Alice. E le doyts Kat. Le doyts, ma foy Ie oublie, e doyt mays, ie me souemeray le doyts ie pense qu'ils ont appelle de fingres, ou de fingres Alice. Le main de Hand, le doyts le Fingres, ie pense que ie suis le bon escholier Kath. I'ay gaynie diux mots d' Anglois vistement, coment appelle vous le ongles? Alice. Le ongles, les appellons de Nayles Kath. De Nayles escoute: dites moy, si ie parle bien: de Hand, de Fingres, e de Nayles Alice. C'est bien dict Madame, il & fort bon Anglois Kath. Dites moy l' Anglois pour le bras Alice. De Arme, Madame Kath. E de coudee Alice. D' Elbow Kath. D' Elbow: Ie men fay le repiticio de touts les mots que vous maves, apprins des a present Alice. Il & trop difficile Madame, comme Ie pense Kath. Excuse moy Alice escoute, d' Hand, de Fingre, de Nayles, d' Arma, de Bilbow Alice. D' Elbow, Madame Kath. O Seigneur Dieu, ie men oublie d' Elbow, coment appelle vous le col Alice. De Nick, Madame Kath. De Nick, e le menton Alice. De Chin Kath. De Sin: le col de Nick, le menton de Sin Alice. Ouy. Sauf vostre honneur en verite vous pronouncies les mots ausi droict, que le Natifs d' Angleterre Kath. Ie ne doute point d' apprendre par de grace de Dieu, & en peu de temps Alice. N' aue vos y desia oublie ce que ie vous a ensignie Kath. Nome ie recitera a vous promptement, d' Hand, de Fingre, de Maylees Alice. De Nayles, Madame Kath. De Nayles, de Arme, de Ilbow Alice. Sans vostre honeus d' Elbow Kath. Ainsi de ie d' Elbow, de Nick, & de Sin: coment appelle vous les pied & de roba Alice. Le Foot Madame, & le Count Kath. Le Foot, & le Count: O Seignieur Dieu, il sont le mots de son mauvais corruptible grosse & impudique, & non pour le Dames de Honeur d' vser: Ie ne voudray pronouncer ce mots deuant le Seigneurs de France, pour toute le monde, fo le Foot & le Count, neant moys, Ie recitera vn autrefoys ma lecon ensembe, d' Hand, de Fingre, de Nayles, d' Arme, d' Elbow, de Nick, de Sin, de Foot, le Count Alice. Excellent, Madame Kath. C'est asses pour vne foyes, alons nous a diner. Enter. Enter the King of France, the Dolphin, the Constable of France, and others. King. 'Tis certaine he hath past the Riuer Some Const. And if he be not fought withall, my Lord, Let vs not liue in France: let vs quit all, And giue our Vineyards to a barbarous People Dolph. O Dieu viuant: Shall a few Sprayes of vs, The emptying of our Fathers Luxurie, Our Syens, put in wilde and sauage Stock, Spirt vp so suddenly into the Clouds, And ouer-looke their Grafters? Brit. Normans, but bastard Normans, Norman bastards: Mort du ma vie, if they march along Vnfought withall, but I will sell my Dukedome, To buy a slobbry and a durtie Farme In that nooke-shotten Ile of Albion Const. Dieu de Battailes, where haue they this mettell? Is not their Clymate foggy, raw, and dull? On whom, as in despight, the Sunne lookes pale, Killing their Fruit with frownes. Can sodden Water, A Drench for sur-reyn'd Iades, their Barly broth, Decoct their cold blood to such valiant heat? And shall our quick blood, spirited with Wine, Seeme frostie? O, for honor of our Land, Let vs not hang like roping Isyckles Vpon our Houses Thatch, whiles a more frostie People Sweat drops of gallant Youth in our rich fields: Poore we call them, in their Natiue Lords Dolphin. By Faith and Honor, Our Madames mock at vs, and plainely say, Our Mettell is bred out, and they will giue Their bodyes to the Lust of English Youth, To new-store France with Bastard Warriors Brit. They bid vs to the English Dancing-Schooles, And teach Lauolta's high, and swift Carranto's, Saying, our Grace is onely in our Heeles, And that we are most loftie Run-awayes King. Where is Montioy the Herald? speed him hence, Let him greet England with our sharpe defiance. Vp Princes, and with spirit of Honor edged, More sharper then your Swords, high to the field: Charles Delabreth, High Constable of France, You Dukes of Orleance, Burbon, and of Berry, Alanson, Brabant, Bar, and Burgonie, Iaques Chattillion, Rambures, Vandemont, Beumont, Grand Pree, Roussi, and Faulconbridge, Loys, Lestrale, Bouciquall, and Charaloyes, High Dukes, great Princes, Barons, Lords, and Kings; For your great Seats, now quit you of great shames: Barre Harry England, that sweepes through our Land With Penons painted in the blood of Harflew: Rush on his Hoast, as doth the melted Snow Vpon the Valleyes, whose low Vassall Seat, The Alpes doth spit, and void his rhewme vpon. Goe downe vpon him, you haue Power enough, And in a Captiue Chariot, into Roan Bring him our Prisoner Const. This becomes the Great. Sorry am I his numbers are so few, His Souldiers sick, and famisht in their March: For I am sure, when he shall see our Army, Hee'le drop his heart into the sinck of feare, And for atchieuement, offer vs his Ransome King. Therefore Lord Constable, hast on Montioy, And let him say to England, that we send, To know what willing Ransome he will giue. Prince Dolphin, you shall stay with vs in Roan Dolph. Not so, I doe beseech your Maiestie King. Be patient, for you shall remaine with vs. Now forth Lord Constable, and Princes all, And quickly bring vs word of Englands fall. Exeunt. Enter Captaines, English and Welch, Gower and Fluellen. Gower. How now Captaine Fluellen, come you from the Bridge? Flu. I assure you, there is very excellent Seruices committed at the Bridge Gower. Is the Duke of Exeter safe? Flu. The Duke of Exeter is as magnanimous as Agamemnon, and a man that I loue and honour with my soule, and my heart, and my dutie, and my liue, and my liuing, and my vttermost power. He is not, God be praysed and blessed, any hurt in the World, but keepes the Bridge most valiantly, with excellent discipline. There is an aunchient Lieutenant there at the Pridge, I thinke in my very conscience hee is as valiant a man as Marke Anthony, and hee is a man of no estimation in the World, but I did see him doe as gallant seruice Gower. What doe you call him? Flu. Hee is call'd aunchient Pistoll Gower. I know him not. Enter Pistoll. Flu. Here is the man Pist. Captaine, I thee beseech to doe me fauours: the Duke of Exeter doth loue thee well Flu. I, I prayse God, and I haue merited some loue at his hands Pist. Bardolph, a Souldier firme and sound of heart, and of buxome valour, hath by cruell Fate, and giddie Fortunes furious fickle Wheele, that Goddesse blind, that stands vpon the rolling restlesse Stone Flu. By your patience, aunchient Pistoll: Fortune is painted blinde, with a Muffler afore his eyes, to signifie to you, that Fortune is blinde; and shee is painted also with a Wheele, to signifie to you, which is the Morall of it, that shee is turning and inconstant, and mutabilitie, and variation: and her foot, looke you, is fixed vpon a Sphericall Stone, which rowles, and rowles, and rowles: in good truth, the Poet makes a most excellent description of it: Fortune is an excellent Morall Pist. Fortune is Bardolphs foe, and frownes on him: for he hath stolne a Pax, and hanged must a be: a damned death: let Gallowes gape for Dogge, let Man goe free, and let not Hempe his Wind-pipe suffocate: but Exeter hath giuen the doome of death, for Pax of little price. Therefore goe speake, the Duke will heare thy voyce; and let not Bardolphs vitall thred bee cut with edge of Penny-Cord, and vile reproach. Speake Captaine for his Life, and I will thee requite Flu. Aunchient Pistoll, I doe partly vnderstand your meaning Pist. Why then reioyce therefore Flu. Certainly Aunchient, it is not a thing to reioyce at: for if, looke you, he were my Brother, I would desire the Duke to vse his good pleasure, and put him to execution; for discipline ought to be vsed Pist. Dye, and be dam'd, and Figo for thy friendship Flu. It is well Pist. The Figge of Spaine. Enter. Flu. Very good Gower. Why, this is an arrant counterfeit Rascall, I remember him now: a Bawd, a Cut-purse Flu. Ile assure you, a vtt'red as praue words at the Pridge, as you shall see in a Summers day: but it is very well: what he ha's spoke to me, that is well I warrant you, when time is serue Gower. Why 'tis a Gull, a Foole, a Rogue, that now and then goes to the Warres, to grace himselfe at his returne into London, vnder the forme of a Souldier: and such fellowes are perfit in the Great Commanders Names, and they will learne you by rote where Seruices were done; at such and such a Sconce, at such a Breach, at such a Conuoy: who came off brauely, who was shot, who disgrac'd, what termes the Enemy stood on: and this they conne perfitly in the phrase of Warre; which they tricke vp with new-tuned Oathes: and what a Beard of the Generalls Cut, and a horride Sute of the Campe, will doe among foming Bottles, and Ale-washt Wits, is wonderfull to be thought on: but you must learne to know such slanders of the age, or else you may be maruellously mistooke Flu. I tell you what, Captaine Gower: I doe perceiue hee is not the man that hee would gladly make shew to the World hee is: if I finde a hole in his Coat, I will tell him my minde: hearke you, the King is comming, and I must speake with him from the Pridge. Drum and Colours. Enter the King and his poore Souldiers. Flu. God plesse your Maiestie King. How now Fluellen, cam'st thou from the Bridge? Flu. I, so please your Maiestie: The Duke of Exeter ha's very gallantly maintain'd the Pridge; the French is gone off, looke you, and there is gallant and most praue passages: marry, th' athuersarie was haue possession of the Pridge, but he is enforced to retyre, and the Duke of Exeter is Master of the Pridge: I can tell your Maiestie, the Duke is a praue man King. What men haue you lost, Fluellen? Flu. The perdition of th' athuersarie hath beene very great, reasonnable great: marry for my part, I thinke the Duke hath lost neuer a man, but one that is like to be executed for robbing a Church, one Bardolph, if your Maiestie know the man: his face is all bubukles and whelkes, and knobs, and flames a fire, and his lippes blowes at his nose, and it is like a coale of fire, sometimes plew, and sometimes red, but his nose is executed, and his fire's out King. Wee would haue all such offendors so cut off: and we giue expresse charge, that in our Marches through the Countrey, there be nothing compell'd from the Villages; nothing taken, but pay'd for: none of the French vpbrayded or abused in disdainefull Language; for when Leuitie and Crueltie play for a Kingdome, the gentler Gamester is the soonest winner. Tucket. Enter Mountioy. Mountioy. You know me by my habit King. Well then, I know thee: what shall I know of thee? Mountioy. My Masters mind King. Vnfold it Mountioy. Thus sayes my King: Say thou to Harry of England, Though we seem'd dead, we did but sleepe: Aduantage is a better Souldier then rashnesse. Tell him, wee could haue rebuk'd him at Harflewe, but that wee thought not good to bruise an iniurie, till it were full ripe. Now wee speake vpon our Q. and our voyce is imperiall: England shall repent his folly, see his weakenesse, and admire our sufferance. Bid him therefore consider of his ransome, which must proportion the losses we haue borne, the subiects we haue lost, the disgrace we haue digested; which in weight to re-answer, his pettinesse would bow vnder. For our losses, his Exchequer is too poore; for th' effusion of our bloud, the Muster of his Kingdome too faint a number; and for our disgrace, his owne person kneeling at our feet, but a weake and worthlesse satisfaction. To this adde defiance: and tell him for conclusion, he hath betrayed his followers, whose condemnation is pronounc't: So farre my King and Master; so much my Office King. What is thy name? I know thy qualitie Mount. Mountioy King. Thou doo'st thy Office fairely. Turne thee backe, And tell thy King, I doe not seeke him now, But could be willing to march on to Callice, Without impeachment: for to say the sooth, Though 'tis no wisdome to confesse so much Vnto an enemie of Craft and Vantage, My people are with sicknesse much enfeebled, My numbers lessen'd: and those few I haue, Almost no better then so many French; Who when they were in health, I tell thee Herald, I thought, vpon one payre of English Legges Did march three Frenchmen. Yet forgiue me God, That I doe bragge thus; this your ayre of France Hath blowne that vice in me. I must repent: Goe therefore tell thy Master, heere I am; My Ransome, is this frayle and worthlesse Trunke; My Army, but a weake and sickly Guard: Yet God before, tell him we will come on, Though France himselfe, and such another Neighbor Stand in our way. There's for thy labour Mountioy. Goe bid thy Master well aduise himselfe. If we may passe, we will: if we be hindred, We shall your tawnie ground with your red blood Discolour: and so Mountioy, fare you well. The summe of all our Answer is but this: We would not seeke a Battaile as we are, Nor as we are, we say we will not shun it: So tell your Master Mount. I shall deliuer so: Thankes to your Highnesse Glouc. I hope they will not come vpon vs now King. We are in Gods hand, Brother, not in theirs: March to the Bridge, it now drawes toward night, Beyond the Riuer wee'le encampe our selues, And on to morrow bid them march away. Exeunt. Enter the Constable of France, the Lord Ramburs, Orleance, Dolphin, with others. Const. Tut, I haue the best Armour of the World: would it were day Orleance. You haue an excellent Armour: but let my Horse haue his due Const. It is the best Horse of Europe Orleance. Will it neuer be Morning? Dolph. My Lord of Orleance, and my Lord High Constable, you talke of Horse and Armour? Orleance. You are as well prouided of both, as any Prince in the World Dolph. What a long Night is this? I will not change my Horse with any that treades but on foure postures: ch' ha: he bounds from the Earth, as if his entrayles were hayres: le Cheual volante, the Pegasus, ches les narines de feu. When I bestryde him, I soare, I am a Hawke: he trots the ayre: the Earth sings, when he touches it: the basest horne of his hoofe, is more Musicall then the Pipe of Hermes Orleance. Hee's of the colour of the Nutmeg Dolph. And of the heat of the Ginger. It is a Beast for Perseus: hee is pure Ayre and Fire; and the dull Elements of Earth and Water neuer appeare in him, but only in patient stillnesse while his Rider mounts him: hee is indeede a Horse, and all other Iades you may call Beasts Const. Indeed my Lord, it is a most absolute and excellent Horse Dolph. It is the Prince of Palfrayes, his Neigh is like the bidding of a Monarch, and his countenance enforces Homage Orleance. No more Cousin Dolph. Nay, the man hath no wit, that cannot from the rising of the Larke to the lodging of the Lambe, varie deserued prayse on my Palfray: it is a Theame as fluent as the Sea: Turne the Sands into eloquent tongues, and my Horse is argument for them all: 'tis a subiect for a Soueraigne to reason on, and for a Soueraignes Soueraigne to ride on: And for the World, familiar to vs, and vnknowne, to lay apart their particular Functions, and wonder at him, I once writ a Sonnet in his prayse, and began thus, Wonder of Nature Orleance. I haue heard a Sonnet begin so to ones Mistresse Dolph. Then did they imitate that which I compos'd to my Courser, for my Horse is my Mistresse Orleance. Your Mistresse beares well Dolph. Me well, which is the prescript prayse and perfection of a good and particular Mistresse Const. Nay, for me thought yesterday your Mistresse shrewdly shooke your back Dolph. So perhaps did yours Const. Mine was not bridled Dolph. O then belike she was old and gentle, and you rode like a Kerne of Ireland, your French Hose off, and in your strait Strossers Const. You haue good iudgement in Horsemanship Dolph. Be warn'd by me then: they that ride so, and ride not warily, fall into foule Boggs: I had rather haue my Horse to my Mistresse Const. I had as liue haue my Mistresse a Iade Dolph. I tell thee Constable, my Mistresse weares his owne hayre Const. I could make as true a boast as that, if I had a Sow to my Mistresse Dolph. Le chien est retourne a son propre vemissement est la leuye lauee au bourbier: thou mak'st vse of any thing Const. Yet doe I not vse my Horse for my Mistresse, or any such Prouerbe, so little kin to the purpose Ramb. My Lord Constable, the Armour that I saw in your Tent to night, are those Starres or Sunnes vpon it? Const. Starres my Lord Dolph. Some of them will fall to morrow, I hope Const. And yet my Sky shall not want Dolph. That may be, for you beare a many superfluously, and 'twere more honor some were away Const. Eu'n as your Horse beares your prayses, who would trot as well, were some of your bragges dismounted Dolph. Would I were able to loade him with his desert. Will it neuer be day? I will trot to morrow a mile, and my way shall be paued with English Faces Const. I will not say so, for feare I should be fac't out of my way: but I would it were morning, for I would faine be about the eares of the English Ramb. Who will goe to Hazard with me for twentie Prisoners? Const. You must first goe your selfe to hazard, ere you haue them Dolph. 'Tis Mid-night, Ile goe arme my selfe. Enter. Orleance. The Dolphin longs for morning Ramb. He longs to eate the English Const. I thinke he will eate all he kills Orleance. By the white Hand of my Lady, hee's a gallant Prince Const. Sweare by her Foot, that she may tread out the Oath Orleance. He is simply the most actiue Gentleman of France Const. Doing is actiuitie, and he will still be doing Orleance. He neuer did harme, that I heard of Const. Nor will doe none to morrow: hee will keepe that good name still Orleance. I know him to be valiant Const. I was told that, by one that knowes him better then you Orleance. What's hee? Const. Marry hee told me so himselfe, and hee sayd hee car'd not who knew it Orleance. Hee needes not, it is no hidden vertue in him Const. By my faith Sir, but it is: neuer any body saw it, but his Lacquey: 'tis a hooded valour, and when it appeares, it will bate Orleance. Ill will neuer sayd well Const. I will cap that Prouerbe with, There is flatterie in friendship Orleance. And I will take vp that with, Giue the Deuill his due Const. Well plac't: there stands your friend for the Deuill: haue at the very eye of that Prouerbe with, A Pox of the Deuill Orleance. You are the better at Prouerbs, by how much a Fooles Bolt is soone shot Const. You haue shot ouer Orleance. 'Tis not the first time you were ouer-shot. Enter a Messenger. Mess. My Lord high Constable, the English lye within fifteene hundred paces of your Tents Const. Who hath measur'd the ground? Mess. The Lord Grandpree Const. A valiant and most expert Gentleman. Would it were day? Alas poore Harry of England: hee longs not for the Dawning, as wee doe Orleance. What a wretched and peeuish fellow is this King of England, to mope with his fat-brain'd followers so farre out of his knowledge Const. If the English had any apprehension, they would runne away Orleance. That they lack: for if their heads had any intellectuall Armour, they could neuer weare such heauie Head-pieces Ramb. That Iland of England breedes very valiant Creatures; their Mastiffes are of vnmatchable courage Orleance. Foolish Curres, that runne winking into the mouth of a Russian Beare, and haue their heads crusht like rotten Apples: you may as well say, that's a valiant Flea, that dare eate his breakefast on the Lippe of a Lyon Const. Iust, iust: and the men doe sympathize with the Mastiffes, in robustious and rough comming on, leauing their Wits with their Wiues: and then giue them great Meales of Beefe, and Iron and Steele; they will eate like Wolues, and fight like Deuils Orleance. I, but these English are shrowdly out of Beefe Const. Then shall we finde to morrow, they haue only stomackes to eate, and none to fight. Now is it time to arme: come, shall we about it? Orleance. It is now two a Clock: but let me see, by ten Wee shall haue each a hundred English men. Exeunt. Actus Tertius. Chorus. Now entertaine coniecture of a time, When creeping Murmure and the poring Darke Fills the wide Vessell of the Vniuerse. From Camp to Camp, through the foule Womb of Night The Humme of eyther Army stilly sounds; That the fixt Centinels almost receiue The secret Whispers of each others Watch. Fire answers fire, and through their paly flames Each Battaile sees the others vmber'd face. Steed threatens Steed, in high and boastfull Neighs Piercing the Nights dull Eare: and from the Tents, The Armourers accomplishing the Knights, With busie Hammers closing Riuets vp, Giue dreadfull note of preparation. The Countrey Cocks doe crow, the Clocks doe towle: And the third howre of drowsie Morning nam'd, Prowd of their Numbers, and secure in Soule, The confident and ouer-lustie French, Doe the low-rated English play at Dice; And chide the creeple-tardy-gated Night, Who like a foule and ougly Witch doth limpe So tediously away. The poore condemned English, Like Sacrifices, by their watchfull Fires Sit patiently, and inly ruminate The Mornings danger: and their gesture sad, Inuesting lanke-leane Cheekes, and Warre-worne Coats, Presented them vnto the gazing Moone So many horride Ghosts. O now, who will behold The Royall Captaine of this ruin'd Band Walking from Watch to Watch, from Tent to Tent; Let him cry, Prayse and Glory on his head: For forth he goes, and visits all his Hoast, Bids them good morrow with a modest Smyle, And calls them Brothers, Friends, and Countreymen. Vpon his Royall Face there is no note, How dread an Army hath enrounded him; Nor doth he dedicate one iot of Colour Vnto the wearie and all-watched Night: But freshly lookes, and ouer-beares Attaint, With chearefull semblance, and sweet Maiestie: That euery Wretch, pining and pale before, Beholding him, plucks comfort from his Lookes. A Largesse vniuersall, like the Sunne, His liberall Eye doth giue to euery one, Thawing cold feare, that meane and gentle all Behold, as may vnworthinesse define. A little touch of Harry in the Night, And so our Scene must to the Battaile flye: Where, O for pitty, we shall much disgrace, With foure or fiue most vile and ragged foyles, (Right ill dispos'd, in brawle ridiculous) The Name of Agincourt: Yet sit and see, Minding true things, by what their Mock'ries bee. Enter. Enter the King, Bedford, and Gloucester. King. Gloster, 'tis true that we are in great danger, The greater therefore should our Courage be. God morrow Brother Bedford: God Almightie, There is some soule of goodnesse in things euill, Would men obseruingly distill it out. For our bad Neighbour makes vs early stirrers, Which is both healthfull, and good husbandry. Besides, they are our outward Consciences, And Preachers to vs all; admonishing, That we should dresse vs fairely for our end. Thus may we gather Honey from the Weed, And make a Morall of the Diuell himselfe. Enter Erpingham. Good morrow old Sir Thomas Erpingham: A good soft Pillow for that good white Head, Were better then a churlish turfe of France Erping. Not so my Liege, this Lodging likes me better, Since I may say, now lye I like a King King. 'Tis good for men to loue their present paines, Vpon example, so the Spirit is eased: And when the Mind is quickned, out of doubt The Organs, though defunct and dead before, Breake vp their drowsie Graue, and newly moue With casted slough, and fresh legeritie. Lend me thy Cloake Sir Thomas: Brothers both, Commend me to the Princes in our Campe; Doe my good morrow to them, and anon Desire them all to my Pauillion Gloster. We shall, my Liege Erping. Shall I attend your Grace? King. No, my good Knight: Goe with my Brothers to my Lords of England: I and my Bosome must debate a while, And then I would no other company Erping. The Lord in Heauen blesse thee, Noble Harry. Exeunt. King. God a mercy old Heart, thou speak'st chearefully. Enter Pistoll Pist. Che vous la? King. A friend Pist. Discusse vnto me, art thou Officer, or art thou base, common, and popular? King. I am a Gentleman of a Company Pist. Trayl'st thou the puissant Pyke? King. Euen so: what are you? Pist. As good a Gentleman as the Emperor King. Then you are a better then the King Pist. The King's a Bawcock, and a Heart of Gold, a Lad of Life, an Impe of Fame, of Parents good, of Fist most valiant: I kisse his durtie shooe, and from heartstring I loue the louely Bully. What is thy Name? King. Harry le Roy Pist. Le Roy? a Cornish Name: art thou of Cornish Crew? King. No, I am a Welchman Pist. Know'st thou Fluellen? King. Yes Pist. Tell him Ile knock his Leeke about his Pate vpon S[aint]. Dauies day King. Doe not you weare your Dagger in your Cappe that day, least he knock that about yours Pist. Art thou his friend? King. And his Kinsman too Pist. The Figo for thee then King. I thanke you: God be with you Pist. My name is Pistol call'd. Enter. King. It sorts well with your fiercenesse. Manet King. Enter Fluellen and Gower. Gower. Captaine Fluellen Flu. 'So, in the Name of Iesu Christ, speake fewer: it is the greatest admiration in the vniuersall World, when the true and aunchient Prerogatifes and Lawes of the Warres is not kept: if you would take the paines but to examine the Warres of Pompey the Great, you shall finde, I warrant you, that there is no tiddle tadle nor pibble bable in Pompeyes Campe: I warrant you, you shall finde the Ceremonies of the Warres, and the Cares of it, and the Formes of it, and the Sobrietie of it, and the Modestie of it, to be otherwise Gower. Why the Enemie is lowd, you heare him all Night Flu. If the Enemie is an Asse and a Foole, and a prating Coxcombe; is it meet, thinke you, that wee should also, looke you, be an Asse and a Foole, and a prating Coxcombe, in your owne conscience now? Gow. I will speake lower Flu. I pray you, and beseech you, that you will. Enter. King. Though it appeare a little out of fashion, There is much care and valour in this Welchman. Enter three Souldiers, Iohn Bates, Alexander Court, and Michael Williams. Court. Brother Iohn Bates, is not that the Morning which breakes yonder? Bates. I thinke it be: but wee haue no great cause to desire the approach of day Williams. Wee see yonder the beginning of the day, but I thinke wee shall neuer see the end of it. Who goes there? King. A Friend Williams. Vnder what Captaine serue you? King. Vnder Sir Iohn Erpingham Williams. A good old Commander, and a most kinde Gentleman: I pray you, what thinkes he of our estate? King. Euen as men wrackt vpon a Sand, that looke to be washt off the next Tyde Bates. He hath not told his thought to the King? King. No: nor it is not meet he should: for though I speake it to you, I thinke the King is but a man, as I am: the Violet smells to him, as it doth to me; the Element shewes to him, as it doth to me; all his Sences haue but humane Conditions: his Ceremonies layd by, in his Nakednesse he appeares but a man; and though his affections are higher mounted then ours, yet when they stoupe, they stoupe with the like wing: therefore, when he sees reason of feares, as we doe; his feares, out of doubt, be of the same rellish as ours are: yet in reason, no man should possesse him with any appearance of feare; least hee, by shewing it, should dis-hearten his Army Bates. He may shew what outward courage he will: but I beleeue, as cold a Night as 'tis, hee could wish himselfe in Thames vp to the Neck; and so I would he were, and I by him, at all aduentures, so we were quit here King. By my troth, I will speake my conscience of the King: I thinke hee would not wish himselfe any where, but where hee is Bates. Then I would he were here alone; so should he be sure to be ransomed, and a many poore mens liues saued King. I dare say, you loue him not so ill, to wish him here alone: howsoeuer you speake this to feele other mens minds, me thinks I could not dye any where so contented, as in the Kings company; his Cause being iust, and his Quarrell honorable Williams. That's more then we know Bates. I, or more then wee should seeke after; for wee know enough, if wee know wee are the Kings Subiects: if his Cause be wrong, our obedience to the King wipes the Cryme of it out of vs Williams. But if the Cause be not good, the King himselfe hath a heauie Reckoning to make, when all those Legges, and Armes, and Heads, chopt off in a Battaile, shall ioyne together at the latter day, and cry all, Wee dyed at such a place, some swearing, some crying for a Surgean; some vpon their Wiues, left poore behind them; some vpon the Debts they owe, some vpon their Children rawly left: I am afear'd, there are few dye well, that dye in a Battaile: for how can they charitably dispose of any thing, when Blood is their argument? Now, if these men doe not dye well, it will be a black matter for the King, that led them to it; who to disobey, were against all proportion of subiection King. So, if a Sonne that is by his Father sent about Merchandize, doe sinfully miscarry vpon the Sea; the imputation of his wickednesse, by your rule, should be imposed vpon his Father that sent him: or if a Seruant, vnder his Masters command, transporting a summe of Money, be assayled by Robbers, and dye in many irreconcil'd Iniquities; you may call the businesse of the Master the author of the Seruants damnation: but this is not so: The King is not bound to answer the particular endings of his Souldiers, the Father of his Sonne, nor the Master of his Seruant; for they purpose not their death, when they purpose their seruices. Besides, there is no King, be his Cause neuer so spotlesse, if it come to the arbitrement of Swords, can trye it out with all vnspotted Souldiers: some (peraduenture) haue on them the guilt of premeditated and contriued Murther; some, of beguiling Virgins with the broken Seales of Periurie; some, making the Warres their Bulwarke, that haue before gored the gentle Bosome of Peace with Pillage and Robberie. Now, if these men haue defeated the Law, and outrunne Natiue punishment; though they can out-strip men, they haue no wings to flye from God. Warre is his Beadle, Warre is his Vengeance: so that here men are punisht, for before breach of the Kings Lawes, in now the Kings Quarrell: where they feared the death, they haue borne life away; and where they would bee safe, they perish. Then if they dye vnprouided, no more is the King guiltie of their damnation, then hee was before guiltie of those Impieties, for the which they are now visited. Euery Subiects Dutie is the Kings, but euery Subiects Soule is his owne. Therefore should euery Souldier in the Warres doe as euery sicke man in his Bed, wash euery Moth out of his Conscience: and dying so, Death is to him aduantage; or not dying, the time was blessedly lost, wherein such preparation was gayned: and in him that escapes, it were not sinne to thinke, that making God so free an offer, he let him outliue that day, to see his Greatnesse, and to teach others how they should prepare Will. 'Tis certaine, euery man that dyes ill, the ill vpon his owne head, the King is not to answer it Bates. I doe not desire hee should answer for me, and yet I determine to fight lustily for him King. I my selfe heard the King say he would not be ransom'd Will. I, hee said so, to make vs fight chearefully: but when our throats are cut, hee may be ransom'd, and wee ne're the wiser King. If I liue to see it, I will neuer trust his word after Will. You pay him then: that's a perillous shot out of an Elder Gunne, that a poore and a priuate displeasure can doe against a Monarch: you may as well goe about to turne the Sunne to yce, with fanning in his face with a Peacocks feather: You'le neuer trust his word after; come, 'tis a foolish saying King. Your reproofe is something too round, I should be angry with you, if the time were conuenient Will. Let it bee a Quarrell betweene vs, if you liue King. I embrace it Will. How shall I know thee againe? King. Giue me any Gage of thine, and I will weare it in my Bonnet: Then if euer thou dar'st acknowledge it, I will make it my Quarrell Will. Heere's my Gloue: Giue mee another of thine King. There Will. This will I also weare in my Cap: if euer thou come to me, and say, after to morrow, This is my Gloue, by this Hand I will take thee a box on the eare King. If euer I liue to see it, I will challenge it Will. Thou dar'st as well be hang'd King. Well, I will doe it, though I take thee in the Kings companie Will. Keepe thy word: fare thee well Bates. Be friends you English fooles, be friends, wee haue French Quarrels enow, if you could tell how to reckon. Exit Souldiers. King. Indeede the French may lay twentie French Crownes to one, they will beat vs, for they beare them on their shoulders: but it is no English Treason to cut French Crownes, and to morrow the King himselfe will be a Clipper. Vpon the King, let vs our Liues, our Soules, Our Debts, our carefull Wiues, Our Children, and our Sinnes, lay on the King: We must beare all. O hard Condition, Twin-borne with Greatnesse, Subiect to the breath of euery foole, whose sence No more can feele, but his owne wringing. What infinite hearts-ease must Kings neglect, That priuate men enioy? And what haue Kings, that Priuates haue not too, Saue Ceremonie, saue generall Ceremonie? And what art thou, thou Idoll Ceremonie? What kind of God art thou? that suffer'st more Of mortall griefes, then doe thy worshippers. What are thy Rents? what are thy Commings in? O Ceremonie, shew me but thy worth. What? is thy Soule of Odoration? Art thou ought else but Place, Degree, and Forme, Creating awe and feare in other men? Wherein thou art lesse happy, being fear'd, Then they in fearing. What drink'st thou oft, in stead of Homage sweet, But poyson'd flatterie? O, be sick, great Greatnesse, And bid thy Ceremonie giue thee cure. Thinks thou the fierie Feuer will goe out With Titles blowne from Adulation? Will it giue place to flexure and low bending? Canst thou, when thou command'st the beggers knee, Command the health of it? No, thou prowd Dreame, That play'st so subtilly with a Kings Repose. I am a King that find thee: and I know, 'Tis not the Balme, the Scepter, and the Ball, The Sword, the Mase, the Crowne Imperiall, The enter-tissued Robe of Gold and Pearle, The farsed Title running 'fore the King, The Throne he sits on: nor the Tyde of Pompe, That beates vpon the high shore of this World: No, not all these, thrice-gorgeous Ceremonie; Not all these, lay'd in Bed Maiesticall, Can sleepe so soundly, as the wretched Slaue: Who with a body fill'd, and vacant mind, Gets him to rest, cram'd with distressefull bread, Neuer sees horride Night, the Child of Hell: But like a Lacquey, from the Rise to Set, Sweates in the eye of Phebus; and all Night Sleepes in Elizium: next day after dawne, Doth rise and helpe Hiperio[n] to his Horse, And followes so the euer-running yeere With profitable labour to his Graue: And but for Ceremonie, such a Wretch, Winding vp Dayes with toyle, and Nights with sleepe, Had the fore-hand and vantage of a King. The Slaue, a Member of the Countreyes peace, Enioyes it; but in grosse braine little wots, What watch the King keepes, to maintaine the peace; Whose howres, the Pesant best aduantages. Enter Erpingham. Erp. My Lord, your Nobles iealous of your absence, Seeke through your Campe to find you King. Good old Knight, collect them all together At my Tent: Ile be before thee Erp. I shall doo't, my Lord. Enter. King. O God of Battailes, steele my Souldiers hearts, Possesse them not with feare: Take from them now The sence of reckning of th' opposed numbers: Pluck their hearts from them. Not to day, O Lord, O not to day, thinke not vpon the fault My Father made, in compassing the Crowne. I Richards body haue interred new, And on it haue bestowed more contrite teares, Then from it issued forced drops of blood. Fiue hundred poore I haue in yeerely pay, Who twice a day their wither'd hands hold vp Toward Heauen, to pardon blood: And I haue built two Chauntries, Where the sad and solemne Priests sing still For Richards Soule. More will I doe: Though all that I can doe, is nothing worth; Since that my Penitence comes after all, Imploring pardon. Enter Gloucester. Glouc. My Liege King. My Brother Gloucesters voyce? I: I know thy errand, I will goe with thee: The day, my friend, and all things stay for me. Exeunt. Enter the Dolphin, Orleance, Ramburs, and Beaumont. Orleance. The Sunne doth gild our Armour vp, my Lords Dolph. Monte Cheual: My Horse, Verlot Lacquay: Ha Orleance. Oh braue Spirit Dolph. Via les ewes & terre Orleance. Rien puis le air & feu Dolph. Cein, Cousin Orleance. Enter Constable. Now my Lord Constable? Const. Hearke how our Steedes, for present Seruice neigh Dolph. Mount them, and make incision in their Hides, That their hot blood may spin in English eyes, And doubt them with superfluous courage: ha Ram. What, wil you haue them weep our Horses blood? How shall we then behold their naturall teares? Enter Messenger. Messeng. The English are embattail'd, you French Peeres Const. To Horse you gallant Princes, straight to Horse. Doe but behold yond poore and starued Band, And your faire shew shall suck away their Soules, Leauing them but the shales and huskes of men. There is not worke enough for all our hands, Scarce blood enough in all their sickly Veines, To giue each naked Curtleax a stayne, That our French Gallants shall to day draw out, And sheath for lack of sport. Let vs but blow on them, The vapour of our Valour will o're-turne them. 'Tis positiue against all exceptions, Lords, That our superfluous Lacquies, and our Pesants, Who in vnnecessarie action swarme About our Squares of Battaile, were enow To purge this field of such a hilding Foe; Though we vpon this Mountaines Basis by, Tooke stand for idle speculation: But that our Honours must not. What's to say? A very little little let vs doe, And all is done: then let the Trumpets sound The Tucket Sonuance, and the Note to mount: For our approach shall so much dare the field, That England shall couch downe in feare, and yeeld. Enter Graundpree. Grandpree. Why do you stay so long, my Lords of France? Yond Iland Carrions, desperate of their bones, Ill-fauoredly become the Morning field: Their ragged Curtaines poorely are let loose, And our Ayre shakes them passing scornefully. Bigge Mars seemes banqu'rout in their begger'd Hoast, And faintly through a rustie Beuer peepes. The Horsemen sit like fixed Candlesticks, With Torch-staues in their hand: and their poore Iades Lob downe their heads, dropping the hides and hips: The gumme downe roping from their pale-dead eyes, And in their pale dull mouthes the Iymold Bitt Lyes foule with chaw'd-grasse, still and motionlesse. And their executors, the knauish Crowes, Flye o're them all, impatient for their howre. Description cannot sute it selfe in words, To demonstrate the Life of such a Battaile, In life so liuelesse, as it shewes it selfe Const. They haue said their prayers, And they stay for death Dolph. Shall we goe send them Dinners, and fresh Sutes, And giue their fasting Horses Prouender, And after fight with them? Const. I stay but for my Guard: on To the field, I will the Banner from a Trumpet take, And vse it for my haste. Come, come away, The Sunne is high, and we out-weare the day. Exeunt. Enter Gloucester, Bedford, Exeter, Erpingham with all his Hoast: Salisbury, and Westmerland. Glouc. Where is the King? Bedf. The King himselfe is rode to view their Battaile West. Of fighting men they haue full threescore thousand Exe. There's fiue to one, besides they all are fresh Salisb. Gods Arme strike with vs, 'tis a fearefull oddes. God buy' you Princes all; Ile to my Charge: If we no more meet, till we meet in Heauen; Then ioyfully, my Noble Lord of Bedford, My deare Lord Gloucester, and my good Lord Exeter, And my kind Kinsman, Warriors all, adieu Bedf. Farwell good Salisbury, & good luck go with thee: And yet I doe thee wrong, to mind thee of it, For thou art fram'd of the firme truth of valour Exe. Farwell kind Lord: fight valiantly to day Bedf. He is as full of Valour as of Kindnesse, Princely in both. Enter the King. West. O that we now had here But one ten thousand of those men in England, That doe no worke to day King. What's he that wishes so? My Cousin Westmerland. No, my faire Cousin: If we are markt to dye, we are enow To doe our Countrey losse: and if to liue, The fewer men, the greater share of honour. Gods will, I pray thee wish not one man more. By Ioue, I am not couetous for Gold, Nor care I who doth feed vpon my cost: It yernes me not, if men my Garments weare; Such outward things dwell not in my desires. But if it be a sinne to couet Honor, I am the most offending Soule aliue. No 'faith, my Couze, wish not a man from England: Gods peace, I would not loose so great an Honor, As one man more me thinkes would share from me, For the best hope I haue. O, doe not wish one more: Rather proclaime it (Westmerland) through my Hoast, That he which hath no stomack to this fight, Let him depart, his Pasport shall be made, And Crownes for Conuoy put into his Purse: We would not dye in that mans companie, That feares his fellowship, to dye with vs. This day is call'd the Feast of Crispian: He that out-liues this day, and comes safe home, Will stand a tip-toe when this day is named, And rowse him at the Name of Crispian. He that shall see this day, and liue old age, Will yeerely on the Vigil feast his neighbours, And say, to morrow is Saint Crispian. Then will he strip his sleeue, and shew his skarres: Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot: But hee'le remember, with aduantages, What feats he did that day. Then shall our Names, Familiar in his mouth as household words, Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter, Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester, Be in their flowing Cups freshly remembred. This story shall the good man teach his sonne: And Crispine Crispian shall ne're goe by, From this day to the ending of the World, But we in it shall be remembred; We few, we happy few, we band of brothers: For he to day that sheds his blood with me, Shall be my brother: be he ne're so vile, This day shall gentle his Condition. And Gentlemen in England, now a bed, Shall thinke themselues accurst they were not here; And hold their Manhoods cheape, whiles any speakes, That fought with vs vpon Saint Crispines day. Enter Salisbury. Sal. My Soueraign Lord, bestow your selfe with speed: The French are brauely in their battailes set, And will with all expedience charge on vs King. All things are ready, if our minds be so West. Perish the man, whose mind is backward now King. Thou do'st not wish more helpe from England, Couze? West. Gods will, my Liege, would you and I alone, Without more helpe, could fight this Royall battaile King. Why now thou hast vnwisht fiue thousand men: Which likes me better, then to wish vs one. You know your places: God be with you all. Tucket. Enter Montioy. Mont. Once more I come to know of thee King Harry, If for thy Ransome thou wilt now compound, Before thy most assured Ouerthrow: For certainly, thou art so neere the Gulfe, Thou needs must be englutted. Besides, in mercy The Constable desires thee, thou wilt mind Thy followers of Repentance; that their Soules May make a peacefull and a sweet retyre From off these fields: where (wretches) their poore bodies Must lye and fester King. Who hath sent thee now? Mont. The Constable of France King. I pray thee beare my former Answer back: Bid them atchieue me, and then sell my bones. Good God, why should they mock poore fellowes thus? The man that once did sell the Lyons skin While the beast liu'd, was kill'd with hunting him. A many of our bodyes shall no doubt Find Natiue Graues: vpon the which, I trust Shall witnesse liue in Brasse of this dayes worke. And those that leaue their valiant bones in France, Dying like men, though buryed in your Dunghills, They shall be fam'd: for there the Sun shall greet them, And draw their honors reeking vp to Heauen, Leauing their earthly parts to choake your Clyme, The smell whereof shall breed a Plague in France. Marke then abounding valour in our English: That being dead, like to the bullets crasing, Breake out into a second course of mischiefe, Killing in relapse of Mortalitie. Let me speake prowdly: Tell the Constable, We are but Warriors for the working day: Our Gaynesse and our Gilt are all besmyrcht With raynie Marching in the painefull field. There's not a piece of feather in our Hoast: Good argument (I hope) we will not flye: And time hath worne vs into slouenrie. But by the Masse, our hearts are in the trim: And my poore Souldiers tell me, yet ere Night, They'le be in fresher Robes, or they will pluck The gay new Coats o're the French Souldiers heads, And turne them out of seruice. If they doe this, As if God please, they shall; my Ransome then Will soone be leuyed. Herauld, saue thou thy labour: Come thou no more for Ransome, gentle Herauld, They shall haue none, I sweare, but these my ioynts: Which if they haue, as I will leaue vm them, Shall yeeld them little, tell the Constable Mont. I shall, King Harry. And so fare thee well: Thou neuer shalt heare Herauld any more. Enter. King. I feare thou wilt once more come againe for a Ransome. Enter Yorke. Yorke. My Lord, most humbly on my knee I begge The leading of the Vaward King. Take it, braue Yorke. Now Souldiers march away, And how thou pleasest God, dispose the day. Exeunt. Alarum. Excursions. Enter Pistoll, French Souldier, Boy. Pist. Yeeld Curre French. Ie pense que vous estes le Gentilhome de bon qualitee Pist. Qualtitie calmie custure me. Art thou a Gentleman? What is thy Name? discusse French. O Seigneur Dieu Pist. O Signieur Dewe should be a Gentleman: perpend my words O Signieur Dewe, and marke: O Signieur Dewe, thou dyest on point of Fox, except O Signieur thou doe giue to me egregious Ransome French. O prennes miserecordie aye pitez de moy Pist. Moy shall not serue, I will haue fortie Moyes: for I will fetch thy rymme out at thy Throat, in droppes of Crimson blood French. Est il impossible d' eschapper le force de ton bras Pist. Brasse, Curre? thou damned and luxurious Mountaine Goat, offer'st me Brasse? French. O perdonne moy Pist. Say'st thou me so? is that a Tonne of Moyes? Come hither boy, aske me this slaue in French what is his Name Boy. Escoute comment estes vous appelle? French. Mounsieur le Fer Boy. He sayes his Name is M. Fer Pist. M. Fer: Ile fer him, and firke him, and ferret him: discusse the same in French vnto him Boy. I doe not know the French for fer, and ferret, and firke Pist. Bid him prepare, for I will cut his throat French. Que dit il Mounsieur? Boy. Il me commande a vous dire que vous faite vous prest, car ce soldat icy est disposee tout asture de couppes vostre gorge Pist. Owy, cuppele gorge permafoy pesant, vnlesse thou giue me Crownes, braue Crownes; or mangled shalt thou be by this my Sword French. O Ie vous supplie pour l' amour de Dieu: ma pardonner, Ie suis le Gentilhome de bon maison, garde ma vie, & Ie vous donneray deux cent escus Pist. What are his words? Boy. He prayes you to saue his life, he is a Gentleman of a good house, and for his ransom he will giue you two hundred Crownes Pist. Tell him my fury shall abate, and I the Crownes will take Fren. Petit Monsieur que dit il? Boy. Encore qu'il et contra son Iurement, de pardonner aucune prisonner: neantmons pour les escues que vous layt a promets, il est content a vous donnes le liberte le franchisement Fre. Sur mes genoux se vous donnes milles remercious, et Ie me estime heurex que Ie intombe, entre les main d' vn Cheualier Ie pense le plus braue valiant et tres distime signieur d' Angleterre Pist. Expound vnto me boy Boy. He giues you vpon his knees a thousand thanks, and he esteemes himselfe happy, that he hath falne into the hands of one (as he thinkes) the most braue, valorous and thrice-worthy signeur of England Pist. As I sucke blood, I will some mercy shew. Follow mee Boy. Saaue vous le grand Capitaine? I did neuer know so full a voyce issue from so emptie a heart: but the saying is true, The empty vessel makes the greatest sound, Bardolfe and Nym had tenne times more valour, then this roaring diuell i'th olde play, that euerie one may payre his nayles with a woodden dagger, and they are both hang'd, and so would this be, if hee durst steale any thing aduenturously. I must stay with the Lackies with the luggage of our camp, the French might haue a good pray of vs, if he knew of it, for there is none to guard it but boyes. Enter. Enter Constable, Orleance, Burbon, Dolphin, and Rambures. Con. O Diable Orl. O signeur le iour et perdia, toute et perdie Dol. Mor Dieu ma vie, all is confounded all, Reproach, and euerlasting shame Sits mocking in our Plumes. A short Alarum. O meschante Fortune, do not runne away Con. Why all our rankes are broke Dol. O perdurable shame, let's stab our selues: Be these the wretches that we plaid at dice for? Orl. Is this the King we sent too, for his ransome? Bur. Shame, and eternall shame, nothing but shame, Let vs dye in once more backe againe, And he that will not follow Burbon now, Let him go hence, and with his cap in hand Like a base Pander hold the Chamber doore, Whilst a base slaue, no gentler then my dogge, His fairest daughter is contaminated Con. Disorder that hath spoyl'd vs, friend vs now, Let vs on heapes go offer vp our liues Orl. We are enow yet liuing in the Field, To smother vp the English in our throngs, If any order might be thought vpon Bur. The diuell take Order now, Ile to the throng; Let life be short, else shame will be too long. Enter. Alarum. Enter the King and his trayne, with Prisoners. King. Well haue we done, thrice-valiant Countrimen, But all's not done, yet keepe the French the field Exe. The D[uke]. of York commends him to your Maiesty King. Liues he good Vnckle: thrice within this houre I saw him downe; thrice vp againe, and fighting, From Helmet to the spurre, all blood he was Exe. In which array (braue Soldier) doth he lye, Larding the plaine: and by his bloody side, (Yoake-fellow to his honour-owing-wounds) The Noble Earle of Suffolke also lyes. Suffolke first dyed, and Yorke all hagled ouer Comes to him, where in gore he lay insteeped, And takes him by the Beard, kisses the gashes That bloodily did yawne vpon his face. He cryes aloud; Tarry my Cosin Suffolke, My soule shall thine keepe company to heauen: Tarry (sweet soule) for mine, then flye a-brest: As in this glorious and well-foughten field We kept together in our Chiualrie. Vpon these words I came, and cheer'd him vp, He smil'd me in the face, raught me his hand, And with a feeble gripe, sayes: Deere my Lord, Commend my seruice to my Soueraigne, So did he turne, and ouer Suffolkes necke He threw his wounded arme, and kist his lippes, And so espous'd to death, with blood he seal'd A Testament of Noble-ending-loue: The prettie and sweet manner of it forc'd Those waters from me, which I would haue stop'd, But I had not so much of man in mee, And all my mother came into mine eyes, And gaue me vp to teares King. I blame you not, For hearing this, I must perforce compound With mixtfull eyes, or they will issue to. Alarum But hearke, what new alarum is this same? The French haue re-enforc'd their scatter'd men: Then euery souldiour kill his Prisoners, Giue the word through. Exit Actus Quartus. Enter Fluellen and Gower. Flu. Kill the poyes and the luggage, 'Tis expressely against the Law of Armes, tis as arrant a peece of knauery marke you now, as can bee offert in your Conscience now, is it not? Gow. Tis certaine, there's not a boy left aliue, and the Cowardly Rascalls that ranne from the battaile ha' done this slaughter: besides they haue burned and carried away all that was in the Kings Tent, wherefore the King most worthily hath caus'd euery soldiour to cut his prisoners throat. O 'tis a gallant King Flu. I, hee was porne at Monmouth Captaine Gower: What call you the Townes name where Alexander the pig was borne? Gow. Alexander the Great Flu. Why I pray you, is not pig, great? The pig, or the great, or the mighty, or the huge, or the magnanimous, are all one reckonings, saue the phrase is a litle variations Gower. I thinke Alexander the Great was borne in Macedon, his Father was called Phillip of Macedon, as I take it Flu. I thinke it is in Macedon where Alexander is porne: I tell you Captaine, if you looke in the Maps of the Orld, I warrant you sall finde in the comparisons betweene Macedon & Monmouth, that the situations looke you, is both alike. There is a Riuer in Macedon, & there is also moreouer a Riuer at Monmouth, it is call'd Wye at Monmouth: but it is out of my praines, what is the name of the other Riuer: but 'tis all one, tis alike as my fingers is to my fingers, and there is Salmons in both. If you marke Alexanders life well, Harry of Monmouthes life is come after it indifferent well, for there is figures in all things. Alexander God knowes, and you know, in his rages, and his furies, and his wraths, and his chollers, and his moodes, and his displeasures, and his indignations, and also being a little intoxicates in his praines, did in his Ales and his angers (looke you) kill his best friend Clytus Gow. Our King is not like him in that, he neuer kill'd any of his friends Flu. It is not well done (marke you now) to take the tales out of my mouth, ere it is made and finished. I speak but in the figures, and comparisons of it: as Alexander kild his friend Clytus, being in his Ales and his Cuppes; so also Harry Monmouth being in his right wittes, and his good iudgements, turn'd away the fat Knight with the great belly doublet: he was full of iests, and gypes, and knaueries, and mockes, I haue forgot his name Gow. Sir Iohn Falstaffe Flu. That is he: Ile tell you, there is good men porne at Monmouth Gow. Heere comes his Maiesty. Alarum. Enter King Harry and Burbon with prisoners. Flourish. King. I was not angry since I came to France, Vntill this instant. Take a Trumpet Herald, Ride thou vnto the Horsemen on yond hill: If they will fight with vs, bid them come downe, Or voyde the field: they do offend our sight. If they'l do neither, we will come to them, And make them sker away, as swift as stones Enforced from the old Assyrian slings: Besides, wee'l cut the throats of those we haue, And not a man of them that we shall take, Shall taste our mercy. Go and tell them so. Enter Montioy. Exe. Here comes the Herald of the French, my Liege Glou. His eyes are humbler then they vs'd to be King. How now, what meanes this Herald? Knowst thou not, That I haue fin'd these bones of mine for ransome? Com'st thou againe for ransome? Her. No great King: I come to thee for charitable License, That we may wander ore this bloody field, To booke our dead, and then to bury them, To sort our Nobles from our common men. For many of our Princes (woe the while) Lye drown'd and soak'd in mercenary blood: So do our vulgar drench their peasant limbes In blood of Princes, and with wounded steeds Fret fet-locke deepe in gore, and with wilde rage Yerke out their armed heeles at their dead masters, Killing them twice. O giue vs leaue great King, To view the field in safety, and dispose Of their dead bodies Kin. I tell thee truly Herald, I know not if the day be ours or no, For yet a many of your horsemen peere, And gallop ore the field Her. The day is yours Kin. Praised be God, and not our strength for it: What is this Castle call'd that stands hard by Her. They call it Agincourt King. Then call we this the field of Agincourt, Fought on the day of Crispin Crispianus Flu. Your Grandfather of famous memory (an't please your Maiesty) and your great Vncle Edward the Placke Prince of Wales, as I haue read in the Chronicles, fought a most praue pattle here in France Kin. They did Fluellen Flu. Your Maiesty sayes very true: If your Maiesties is remembred of it, the Welchmen did good seruice in a Garden where Leekes did grow, wearing Leekes in their Monmouth caps, which your Maiesty know to this houre is an honourable badge of the seruice: And I do beleeue your Maiesty takes no scorne to weare the Leeke vppon S[aint]. Tauies day King. I weare it for a memorable honor: For I am Welch you know good Countriman Flu. All the water in Wye, cannot wash your Maiesties Welsh plood out of your pody, I can tell you that: God plesse it, and preserue it, as long as it pleases his Grace, and his Maiesty too Kin. Thankes good my Countrymen Flu. By Ieshu, I am your Maiesties Countreyman, I care not who know it: I will confesse it to all the Orld, I need not to be ashamed of your Maiesty, praised be God so long as your Maiesty is an honest man King. Good keepe me so. Enter Williams. Our Heralds go with him, Bring me iust notice of the numbers dead On both our parts. Call yonder fellow hither Exe. Souldier, you must come to the King Kin. Souldier, why wear'st thou that Gloue in thy Cappe? Will. And't please your Maiesty, tis the gage of one that I should fight withall, if he be aliue Kin. An Englishman? Wil. And't please your Maiesty, a Rascall that swagger'd with me last night: who if aliue, and euer dare to challenge this Gloue, I haue sworne to take him a boxe a'th ere: or if I can see my Gloue in his cappe, which he swore as he was a Souldier he would weare (if aliue) I wil strike it out soundly Kin. What thinke you Captaine Fluellen, is it fit this souldier keepe his oath Flu. Hee is a Crauen and a Villaine else, and't please your Maiesty in my conscience King. It may bee, his enemy is a Gentleman of great sort quite from the answer of his degree Flu. Though he be as good a Ientleman as the diuel is, as Lucifer and Belzebub himselfe, it is necessary (looke your Grace) that he keepe his vow and his oath: If hee bee periur'd (see you now) his reputation is as arrant a villaine and a Iacke sawce, as euer his blacke shoo trodd vpon Gods ground, and his earth, in my conscience law King. Then keepe thy vow sirrah, when thou meet'st the fellow Wil. So, I wil my Liege, as I liue King. Who seru'st thou vnder? Will. Vnder Captaine Gower, my Liege Flu. Gower is a good Captaine, and is good knowledge and literatured in the Warres King. Call him hither to me, Souldier Will. I will my Liege. Enter. King. Here Fluellen, weare thou this fauour for me, and sticke it in thy Cappe: when Alanson and my selfe were downe together, I pluckt this Gloue from his Helme: If any man challenge this, hee is a friend to Alanson, and an enemy to our Person; if thou encounter any such, apprehend him, and thou do'st me loue Flu. Your Grace doo's me as great Honors as can be desir'd in the hearts of his Subiects: I would faine see the man, that ha's but two legges, that shall find himselfe agreefd at this Gloue; that is all: but I would faine see it once, and please God of his grace that I might see King. Know'st thou Gower? Flu. He is my deare friend, and please you King. Pray thee goe seeke him, and bring him to my Tent Flu. I will fetch him. Enter. King. My Lord of Warwick, and my Brother Gloster, Follow Fluellen closely at the heeles. The Gloue which I haue giuen him for a fauour, May haply purchase him a box a'th' eare. It is the Souldiers: I by bargaine should Weare it my selfe. Follow good Cousin Warwick: If that the Souldier strike him, as I iudge By his blunt bearing, he will keepe his word; Some sodaine mischiefe may arise of it: For I doe know Fluellen valiant, And toucht with Choler, hot as Gunpowder, And quickly will returne an iniurie. Follow, and see there be no harme betweene them. Goe you with me, Vnckle of Exeter. Exeunt. Enter Gower and Williams. Will. I warrant it is to Knight you, Captaine. Enter Fluellen. Flu. Gods will, and his pleasure, Captaine, I beseech you now, come apace to the King: there is more good toward you peraduenture, then is in your knowledge to dreame of Will. Sir, know you this Gloue? Flu. Know the Gloue? I know the Gloue is a Gloue Will. I know this, and thus I challenge it. Strikes him. Flu. 'Sblud, an arrant Traytor as anyes in the Vniuersall World, or in France, or in England Gower. How now Sir? you Villaine Will. Doe you thinke Ile be forsworne? Flu. Stand away Captaine Gower, I will giue Treason his payment into plowes, I warrant you Will. I am no Traytor Flu. That's a Lye in thy Throat. I charge you in his Maiesties Name apprehend him, he's a friend of the Duke Alansons. Enter Warwick and Gloucester. Warw. How now, how now, what's the matter? Flu. My Lord of Warwick, heere is, praysed be God for it, a most contagious Treason come to light, looke you, as you shall desire in a Summers day. Heere is his Maiestie. Enter King and Exeter. King. How now, what's the matter? Flu. My Liege, heere is a Villaine, and a Traytor, that looke your Grace, ha's strooke the Gloue which your Maiestie is take out of the Helmet of Alanson Will. My Liege, this was my Gloue, here is the fellow of it: and he that I gaue it to in change, promis'd to weare it in his Cappe: I promis'd to strike him, if he did: I met this man with my Gloue in his Cappe, and I haue been as good as my word Flu. Your Maiestie heare now, sauing your Maiesties Manhood, what an arrant rascally, beggerly, lowsie Knaue it is: I hope your Maiestie is peare me testimonie and witnesse, and will auouchment, that this is the Gloue of Alanson, that your Maiestie is giue me, in your Conscience now King. Giue me thy Gloue Souldier; Looke, heere is the fellow of it: 'Twas I indeed thou promised'st to strike, And thou hast giuen me most bitter termes Flu. And please your Maiestie, let his Neck answere for it, if there is any Marshall Law in the World King. How canst thou make me satisfaction? Will. All offences, my Lord, come from the heart: neuer came any from mine, that might offend your Maiestie King. It was our selfe thou didst abuse Will. Your Maiestie came not like your selfe: you appear'd to me but as a common man; witnesse the Night, your Garments, your Lowlinesse: and what your Highnesse suffer'd vnder that shape, I beseech you take it for your owne fault, and not mine: for had you beene as I tooke you for, I made no offence; therefore I beseech your Highnesse pardon me King. Here Vnckle Exeter, fill this Gloue with Crownes, And giue it to this fellow. Keepe it fellow, And weare it for an Honor in thy Cappe, Till I doe challenge it. Giue him the Crownes: And Captaine, you must needs be friends with him Flu. By this Day and this Light, the fellow ha's mettell enough in his belly: Hold, there is twelue-pence for you, and I pray you to serue God, and keepe you out of prawles and prabbles, and quarrels and dissentions, and I warrant you it is the better for you Will. I will none of your Money Flu. It is with a good will: I can tell you it will serue you to mend your shooes: come, wherefore should you be so pashfull, your shooes is not so good: 'tis a good silling I warrant you, or I will change it. Enter Herauld. King. Now Herauld, are the dead numbred? Herald. Heere is the number of the slaught'red French King. What Prisoners of good sort are taken, Vnckle? Exe. Charles Duke of Orleance, Nephew to the King, Iohn Duke of Burbon, and Lord Bouchiquald: Of other Lords and Barons, Knights and Squires, Full fifteene hundred, besides common men King. This Note doth tell me of ten thousand French That in the field lye slaine: of Princes in this number, And Nobles bearing Banners, there lye dead One hundred twentie six: added to these, Of Knights, Esquires, and gallant Gentlemen, Eight thousand and foure hundred: of the which, Fiue hundred were but yesterday dubb'd Knights. So that in these ten thousand they haue lost, There are but sixteene hundred Mercenaries: The rest are Princes, Barons, Lords, Knights, Squires, And Gentlemen of bloud and qualitie. The Names of those their Nobles that lye dead: Charles Delabreth, High Constable of France, Iaques of Chatilion, Admirall of France, The Master of the Crosse-bowes, Lord Rambures, Great Master of France, the braue Sir Guichard Dolphin, Iohn Duke of Alanson, Anthonie Duke of Brabant, The Brother to the Duke of Burgundie, And Edward Duke of Barr: of lustie Earles, Grandpree and Roussie, Fauconbridge and Foyes, Beaumont and Marle, Vandemont and Lestrale. Here was a Royall fellowship of death. Where is the number of our English dead? Edward the Duke of Yorke, the Earle of Suffolke, Sir Richard Ketly, Dauy Gam Esquire; None else of name: and of all other men, But fiue and twentie. O God, thy Arme was heere: And not to vs, but to thy Arme alone, Ascribe we all: when, without stratagem, But in plaine shock, and euen play of Battaile, Was euer knowne so great and little losse? On one part and on th' other, take it God, For it is none but thine Exet. 'Tis wonderfull King. Come, goe we in procession to the Village: And be it death proclaymed through our Hoast, To boast of this, or take that prayse from God, Which is his onely Flu. Is it not lawfull and please your Maiestie, to tell how many is kill'd? King. Yes Captaine: but with this acknowledgement, That God fought for vs Flu. Yes, my conscience, he did vs great good King. Doe we all holy Rights: Let there be sung Non nobis, and Te Deum, The dead with charitie enclos'd in Clay: And then to Callice, and to England then, Where ne're from France arriu'd more happy men. Exeunt. Actus Quintus. Enter Chorus. Vouchsafe to those that haue not read the Story, That I may prompt them: and of such as haue, I humbly pray them to admit th' excuse Of time, of numbers, and due course of things, Which cannot in their huge and proper life, Be here presented. Now we beare the King Toward Callice: Graunt him there; there seene, Heaue him away vpon your winged thoughts, Athwart the Sea: Behold the English beach Pales in the flood; with Men, Wiues, and Boyes, Whose shouts & claps out-voyce the deep-mouth'd Sea, Which like a mightie Whiffler 'fore the King, Seemes to prepare his way: So let him land, And solemnly see him set on to London. So swift a pace hath Thought, that euen now You may imagine him vpon Black-Heath: Where, that his Lords desire him, to haue borne His bruised Helmet, and his bended Sword Before him, through the Citie: he forbids it, Being free from vainnesse, and selfe-glorious pride; Giuing full Trophee, Signall, and Ostent, Quite from himselfe, to God. But now behold, In the quick Forge and working-house of Thought, How London doth powre out her Citizens, The Maior and all his Brethren in best sort, Like to the Senatours of th' antique Rome, With the Plebeians swarming at their heeles, Goe forth and fetch their Conqu'ring Cæsar in: As by a lower, but by louing likelyhood, Were now the Generall of our gracious Empresse, As in good time he may, from Ireland comming, Bringing Rebellion broached on his Sword; How many would the peacefull Citie quit, To welcome him? much more, and much more cause, Did they this Harry. Now in London place him. As yet the lamentation of the French Inuites the King of Englands stay at home: The Emperour's comming in behalfe of France, To order peace betweene them: and omit All the occurrences, what euer chanc't, Till Harryes backe returne againe to France: There must we bring him; and my selfe haue play'd The interim, by remembring you 'tis past. Then brooke abridgement, and your eyes aduance, After your thoughts, straight backe againe to France. Enter. Enter Fluellen and Gower. Gower. Nay, that's right: but why weare you your Leeke to day? S[aint]. Dauies day is past Flu. There is occasions and causes why and wherefore in all things: I will tell you asse my friend, Captaine Gower; the rascally, scauld, beggerly, lowsie, pragging Knaue Pistoll, which you and your selfe, and all the World, know to be no petter then a fellow, looke you now, of no merits: hee is come to me, and prings me pread and sault yesterday, looke you, and bid me eate my Leeke: it was in a place where I could not breed no contention with him; but I will be so bold as to weare it in my Cap till I see him once againe, and then I will tell him a little piece of my desires. Enter Pistoll. Gower. Why heere hee comes, swelling like a Turkycock Flu. 'Tis no matter for his swellings, nor his Turkycocks. God plesse you aunchient Pistoll: you scuruie lowsie Knaue, God plesse you Pist. Ha, art thou bedlam? doest thou thirst, base Troian, to haue me fold vp Parcas fatall Web? Hence; I am qualmish at the smell of Leeke Flu. I peseech you heartily, scuruie lowsie Knaue, at my desires, and my requests, and my petitions, to eate, looke you, this Leeke; because, looke you, you doe not loue it, nor your affections, and your appetites and your disgestions doo's not agree with it, I would desire you to eate it Pist. Not for Cadwallader and all his Goats Flu. There is one Goat for you. Strikes him. Will you be so good, scauld Knaue, as eate it? Pist. Base Troian, thou shalt dye Flu. You say very true, scauld Knaue, when Gods will is: I will desire you to liue in the meane time, and eate your Victuals: come, there is sawce for it. You call'd me yesterday Mountaine-Squier, but I will make you to day a squire of low degree. I pray you fall too, if you can mocke a Leeke, you can eate a Leeke Gour. Enough Captaine, you haue astonisht him Flu. I say, I will make him eate some part of my leeke, or I will peate his pate foure dayes: bite I pray you, it is good for your greene wound, and your ploodie Coxecombe Pist. Must I bite Flu. Yes certainly, and out of doubt and out of question too, and ambiguities Pist. By this Leeke, I will most horribly reuenge I eate and eate I sweare Flu. Eate I pray you, will you haue some more sauce to your Leeke: there is not enough Leeke to sweare by Pist. Quiet thy Cudgell, thou dost see I eate Flu. Much good do you scald knaue, heartily. Nay, pray you throw none away, the skinne is good for your broken Coxcombe; when you take occasions to see Leekes heereafter, I pray you mocke at 'em, that is all Pist. Good Flu. I, Leekes is good: hold you, there is a groat to heale your pate Pist. Me a groat? Flu. Yes verily, and in truth you shall take it, or I haue another Leeke in my pocket, which you shall eate Pist. I take thy groat in earnest of reuenge Flu. If I owe you any thing, I will pay you in Cudgels, you shall be a Woodmonger, and buy nothing of me but cudgels: God bu'y you, and keepe you, & heale your pate. Exit Pist. All hell shall stirre for this Gow. Go, go, you are a counterfeit cowardly Knaue, will you mocke at an ancient Tradition began vppon an honourable respect, and worne as a memorable Trophee of predeceased valor, and dare not auouch in your deeds any of your words. I haue seene you gleeking & galling at this Gentleman twice or thrice. You thought, because he could not speake English in the natiue garb, he could not therefore handle an English Cudgell: you finde it otherwise, and henceforth let a Welsh correction, teach you a good English condition, fare ye well. Exit Pist. Doeth fortune play the huswife with me now? Newes haue I that my Doll is dead i'th Spittle of a malady of France, and there my rendeuous is quite cut off: Old I do waxe, and from my wearie limbes honour is Cudgeld. Well, Baud Ile turne, and something leane to Cut-purse of quicke hand: To England will I steale, and there Ile steale: And patches will I get vnto these cudgeld scarres, And swore I got them in the Gallia warres. Enter. Enter at one doore, King Henry, Exeter, Bedford, Warwicke, and other Lords. At another, Queene Isabel, the King, the Duke of Bourgougne, and other French. King. Peace to this meeting, wherefore we are met; Vnto our brother France, and to our Sister Health and faire time of day: Ioy and good wishes To our most faire and Princely Cosine Katherine: And as a branch and member of this Royalty, By whom this great assembly is contriu'd, We do salute you Duke of Burgogne, And Princes French and Peeres health to you all Fra. Right ioyous are we to behold your face, Most worthy brother England, fairely met, So are you Princes (English) euery one Quee. So happy be the Issue brother Ireland Of this good day, and of this gracious meeting, As we are now glad to behold your eyes, Your eyes which hitherto haue borne In them against the French that met them in their bent, The fatall Balls of murthering Basiliskes: The venome of such Lookes we fairely hope Haue lost their qualitie, and that this day Shall change all griefes and quarrels into loue Eng. To cry Amen to that, thus we appeare Quee. You English Princes all, I doe salute you Burg. My dutie to you both, on equall loue. Great Kings of France and England: that I haue labour'd With all my wits, my paines, and strong endeuors, To bring your most Imperiall Maiesties Vnto this Barre, and Royall enterview; Your Mightinesse on both parts best can witnesse. Since then my Office hath so farre preuayl'd, That Face to Face, and Royall Eye to Eye, You haue congreeted: let it not disgrace me, If I demand before this Royall view, What Rub, or what Impediment there is, Why that the naked, poore, and mangled Peace, Deare Nourse of Arts, Plentyes, and ioyfull Births, Should not in this best Garden of the World, Our fertile France, put vp her louely Visage? Alas, shee hath from France too long been chas'd, And all her Husbandry doth lye on heapes, Corrupting in it owne fertilitie. Her Vine, the merry chearer of the heart, Vnpruned, dyes: her Hedges euen pleach'd, Like Prisoners wildly ouer-growne with hayre, Put forth disorder'd Twigs: her fallow Leas, The Darnell, Hemlock, and ranke Femetary, Doth root vpon; while that the Culter rusts, That should deracinate such Sauagery: The euen Meade, that erst brought sweetly forth The freckled Cowslip, Burnet, and greene Clouer, Wanting the Sythe, withall vncorrected, ranke; Conceiues by idlenesse, and nothing teemes, But hatefull Docks, rough Thistles, Keksyes, Burres, Loosing both beautie and vtilitie; And all our Vineyards, Fallowes, Meades, and Hedges, Defectiue in their natures, grow to wildnesse. Euen so our Houses, and our selues, and Children, Haue lost, or doe not learne, for want of time, The Sciences that should become our Countrey; But grow like Sauages, as Souldiers will, That nothing doe, but meditate on Blood, To Swearing, and sterne Lookes, defus'd Attyre, And euery thing that seemes vnnaturall. Which to reduce into our former fauour, You are assembled: and my speech entreats, That I may know the Let, why gentle Peace Should not expell these inconueniences, And blesse vs with her former qualities Eng. If Duke of Burgonie, you would the Peace, Whose want giues growth to th' imperfections Which you haue cited; you must buy that Peace With full accord to all our iust demands, Whose Tenures and particular effects You haue enschedul'd briefely in your hands Burg. The King hath heard them: to the which, as yet There is no Answer made Eng. Well then: the Peace which you before so vrg'd, Lyes in his Answer France. I haue but with a curselarie eye O're-glanc't the Articles: Pleaseth your Grace To appoint some of your Councell presently To sit with vs once more, with better heed To re-suruey them; we will suddenly Passe our accept and peremptorie Answer England. Brother we shall. Goe Vnckle Exeter, And Brother Clarence, and you Brother Gloucester, Warwick, and Huntington, goe with the King, And take with you free power, to ratifie, Augment, or alter, as your Wisdomes best Shall see aduantageable for our Dignitie, Any thing in or out of our Demands, And wee'le consigne thereto. Will you, faire Sister, Goe with the Princes, or stay here with vs? Quee. Our gracious Brother, I will goe with them: Happily a Womans Voyce may doe some good, When Articles too nicely vrg'd, be stood on England. Yet leaue our Cousin Katherine here with vs, She is our capitall Demand, compris'd Within the fore-ranke of our Articles Quee. She hath good leaue. Exeunt. omnes. Manet King and Katherine King. Faire Katherine, and most faire, Will you vouchsafe to teach a Souldier tearmes, Such as will enter at a Ladyes eare, And pleade his Loue-suit to her gentle heart Kath. Your Maiestie shall mock at me, I cannot speake your England King. O faire Katherine, if you will loue me soundly with your French heart, I will be glad to heare you confesse it brokenly with your English Tongue. Doe you like me, Kate? Kath. Pardonne moy, I cannot tell wat is like me King. An Angell is like you Kate, and you are like an Angell Kath. Que dit il que Ie suis semblable a les Anges? Lady. Ouy verayment (sauf vostre Grace) ainsi dit il King. I said so, deare Katherine, and I must not blush to affirme it Kath. O bon Dieu, les langues des hommes sont plein de tromperies King. What sayes she, faire one? that the tongues of men are full of deceits? Lady. Ouy, dat de tongues of de mans is be full of deceits: dat is de Princesse King. The Princesse is the better English-woman: yfaith Kate, my wooing is fit for thy vnderstanding, I am glad thou canst speake no better English, for if thou could'st, thou would'st finde me such a plaine King, that thou wouldst thinke, I had sold my Farme to buy my Crowne. I know no wayes to mince it in loue, but directly to say, I loue you; then if you vrge me farther, then to say, Doe you in faith? I weare out my suite: Giue me your answer, yfaith doe, and so clap hands, and a bargaine: how say you, Lady? Kath. Sauf vostre honeur, me vnderstand well King. Marry, if you would put me to Verses, or to Dance for your sake, Kate, why you vndid me: for the one I haue neither words nor measure; and for the other, I haue no strength in measure, yet a reasonable measure in strength. If I could winne a Lady at Leape-frogge, or by vawting into my Saddle, with my Armour on my backe; vnder the correction of bragging be it spoken. I should quickly leape into a Wife: Or if I might buffet for my Loue, or bound my Horse for her fauours, I could lay on like a Butcher, and sit like a Iack an Apes, neuer off. But before God Kate, I cannot looke greenely, nor gaspe out my eloquence, nor I haue no cunning in protestation; onely downe-right Oathes, which I neuer vse till vrg'd, nor neuer breake for vrging. If thou canst loue a fellow of this temper, Kate, whose face is not worth Sunne-burning? that neuer lookes in his Glasse, for loue of any thing he sees there? let thine Eye be thy Cooke. I speake to thee plaine Souldier: If thou canst loue me for this, take me? if not? to say to thee that I shall dye, is true; but for thy loue, by the L[ord]. No: yet I loue thee too. And while thou liu'st, deare Kate, take a fellow of plaine and vncoyned Constancie, for he perforce must do thee right, because he hath not the gift to wooe in other places: for these fellowes of infinit tongue, that can ryme themselues into Ladyes fauours, they doe alwayes reason themselues out againe. What? a speaker is but a prater, a Ryme is but a Ballad; a good Legge will fall, a strait Backe will stoope, a blacke Beard will turne white, a curl'd Pate will grow bald, a faire Face will wither, a full Eye will wax hollow: but a good Heart, Kate, is the Sunne and the Moone, or rather the Sunne, and not the Moone; for it shines bright, and neuer changes, but keepes his course truly. If thou would haue such a one, take me? and take me; take a Souldier: take a Souldier; take a King. And what say'st thou then to my Loue? speake my faire, and fairely, I pray thee Kath. Is it possible dat I sould loue de ennemie of Fraunce? King. No, it is not possible you should loue the Enemie of France, Kate; but in louing me, you should loue the Friend of France: for I loue France so well, that I will not part with a Village of it; I will haue it all mine: and Kate, when France is mine, and I am yours; then yours is France, and you are mine Kath. I cannot tell wat is dat King. No, Kate? I will tell thee in French, which I am sure will hang vpon my tongue, like a new-married Wife about her Husbands Necke, hardly to be shooke off; Ie quand sur le possession de Fraunce, & quand vous aues le possession de moy. (Let mee see, what then? Saint Dennis bee my speede) Donc vostre est Fraunce, & vous estes mienne. It is as easie for me, Kate, to conquer the Kingdome, as to speake so much more French: I shall neuer moue thee in French, vnlesse it be to laugh at me Kath. Sauf vostre honeur, le Francois ques vous parleis, il & melieus que l' Anglois le quel Ie parle King. No faith is't not, Kate: but thy speaking of my Tongue, and I thine, most truely falsely, must needes be graunted to be much at one. But Kate, doo'st thou vnderstand thus much English? Canst thou loue mee? Kath. I cannot tell King. Can any of your Neighbours tell, Kate? Ile aske them. Come, I know thou louest me: and at night, when you come into your Closet, you'le question this Gentlewoman about me; and I know, Kate, you will to her disprayse those parts in me, that you loue with your heart: but good Kate, mocke me mercifully, the rather gentle Princesse, because I loue thee cruelly. If euer thou beest mine, Kate, as I haue a sauing Faith within me tells me thou shalt; I get thee with skambling, and thou must therefore needes proue a good Souldier-breeder: Shall not thou and I, betweene Saint Dennis and Saint George, compound a Boy, halfe French halfe English, that shall goe to Constantinople, and take the Turke by the Beard. Shall wee not? what say'st thou, my faire Flower-de-Luce Kate. I doe not know dat King. No: 'tis hereafter to know, but now to promise: doe but now promise Kate, you will endeauour for your French part of such a Boy; and for my English moytie, take the Word of a King, and a Batcheler. How answer you. La plus belle Katherine du monde mon trescher & deuin deesse Kath. Your Maiestee aue fause Frenche enough to deceiue de most sage Damoiseil dat is en Fraunce King. Now fye vpon my false French: by mine Honor in true English, I loue thee Kate; by which Honor, I dare not sweare thou louest me, yet my blood begins to flatter me, that thou doo'st; notwithstanding the poore and vntempering effect of my Visage. Now beshrew my Fathers Ambition, hee was thinking of Ciuill Warres when hee got me, therefore was I created with a stubborne out-side, with an aspect of Iron, that when I come to wooe Ladyes, I fright them: but in faith Kate, the elder I wax, the better I shall appeare. My comfort is, that Old Age, that ill layer vp of Beautie, can doe no more spoyle vpon my Face. Thou hast me, if thou hast me, at the worst; and thou shalt weare me, if thou weare me, better and better: and therefore tell me, most faire Katherine, will you haue me? Put off your Maiden Blushes, auouch the Thoughts of your Heart with the Lookes of an Empresse, take me by the Hand, and say, Harry of England, I am thine: which Word thou shalt no sooner blesse mine Eare withall, but I will tell thee alowd, England is thine, Ireland is thine, France is thine, and Henry Plantaginet is thine; who, though I speake it before his Face, if he be not Fellow with the best King, thou shalt finde the best King of Good-fellowes. Come your Answer in broken Musick; for thy Voyce is Musick, and thy English broken: Therefore Queene of all, Katherine, breake thy minde to me in broken English; wilt thou haue me? Kath. Dat is as it shall please de Roy mon pere King. Nay, it will please him well, Kate; it shall please him, Kate Kath. Den it sall also content me King. Vpon that I kisse your Hand, and I call you my Queene Kath. Laisse mon Seigneur, laisse, laisse, may foy: Ie ne veus point que vous abbaisse vostre grandeus, en baisant le main d' une nostre Seigneur indignie seruiteur excuse moy. Ie vous supplie mon tres-puissant Seigneur King. Then I will kisse your Lippes, Kate Kath. Les Dames & Damoisels pour estre baisee deuant leur nopcese il net pas le costume de Fraunce King. Madame, my Interpreter, what sayes shee? Lady. Dat it is not be de fashon pour le Ladies of Fraunce; I cannot tell wat is buisse en Anglish King. To kisse Lady. Your Maiestee entendre bettre que moy King. It is not a fashion for the Maids in Fraunce to kisse before they are marryed, would she say? Lady. Ouy verayment King. O Kate, nice Customes cursie to great Kings. Deare Kate, you and I cannot bee confin'd within the weake Lyst of a Countreyes fashion: wee are the makers of Manners, Kate; and the libertie that followes our Places, stoppes the mouth of all finde-faults, as I will doe yours, for vpholding the nice fashion of your Countrey, in denying me a Kisse: therefore patiently, and yeelding. You haue Witch-craft in your Lippes, Kate: there is more eloquence in a Sugar touch of them, then in the Tongues of the French Councell; and they should sooner perswade Harry of England, then a generall Petition of Monarchs. Heere comes your Father. Enter the French Power, and the English Lords. Burg. God saue your Maiestie, my Royall Cousin, teach you our Princesse English? King. I would haue her learne, my faire Cousin, how perfectly I loue her, and that is good English Burg. Is shee not apt? King. Our Tongue is rough, Coze, and my Condition is not smooth: so that hauing neyther the Voyce nor the Heart of Flatterie about me, I cannot so coniure vp the Spirit of Loue in her, that hee will appeare in his true likenesse Burg. Pardon the franknesse of my mirth, if I answer you for that. If you would coniure in her, you must make a Circle: if coniure vp Loue in her in his true likenesse, hee must appeare naked, and blinde. Can you blame her then, being a Maid, yet ros'd ouer with the Virgin Crimson of Modestie, if shee deny the apparance of a naked blinde Boy in her naked seeing selfe? It were (my Lord) a hard Condition for a Maid to consigne to King. Yet they doe winke and yeeld, as Loue is blind and enforces Burg. They are then excus'd, my Lord, when they see not what they doe King. Then good my Lord, teach your Cousin to consent winking Burg. I will winke on her to consent, my Lord, if you will teach her to know my meaning: for Maides well Summer'd, and warme kept, are like Flyes at Bartholomew-tyde, blinde, though they haue their eyes, and then they will endure handling, which before would not abide looking on King. This Morall tyes me ouer to Time, and a hot Summer; and so I shall catch the Flye, your Cousin, in the latter end, and she must be blinde to Burg. As Loue is my Lord, before it loues King. It is so: and you may, some of you, thanke Loue for my blindnesse, who cannot see many a faire French Citie for one faire French Maid that stands in my way French King. Yes my Lord, you see them perspectiuely: the Cities turn'd into a Maid; for they are all gyrdled with Maiden Walls, that Warre hath entred England. Shall Kate be my Wife? France. So please you England. I am content, so the Maiden Cities you talke of, may wait on her: so the Maid that stood in the way for my Wish, shall shew me the way to my Will France. Wee haue consented to all tearmes of reason England. Is't so, my Lords of England? West. The King hath graunted euery Article: His Daughter first; and in sequele, all, According to their firme proposed natures Exet. Onely he hath not yet subscribed this: Where your Maiestie demands, That the King of France hauing any occasion to write for matter of Graunt, shall name your Highnesse in this forme, and with this addition, in French: Nostre trescher filz Henry Roy d' Angleterre Heretere de Fraunce: and thus in Latine; Praeclarissimus Filius noster Henricus Rex Angliæ & Heres Franciae France. Nor this I haue not Brother so deny'd, But your request shall make me let it passe England. I pray you then, in loue and deare allyance, Let that one Article ranke with the rest, And thereupon giue me your Daughter France. Take her faire Sonne, and from her blood rayse vp Issue to me, that the contending Kingdomes Of France and England, whose very shoares looke pale, With enuy of each others happinesse, May cease their hatred; and this deare Coniunction Plant Neighbour-hood and Christian-like accord In their sweet Bosomes: that neuer Warre aduance His bleeding Sword 'twixt England and faire France Lords. Amen King. Now welcome Kate: and beare me witnesse all, That here I kisse her as my Soueraigne Queene. Flourish. Quee. God, the best maker of all Marriages, Combine your hearts in one, your Realmes in one: As Man and Wife being two, are one in loue, So be there 'twixt your Kingdomes such a Spousall, That neuer may ill Office, or fell Iealousie, Which troubles oft the Bed of blessed Marriage, Thrust in betweene the Paction of these Kingdomes, To make diuorce of their incorporate League: That English may as French, French Englishmen, Receiue each other. God speake this Amen All. Amen King. Prepare we for our Marriage: on which day, My Lord of Burgundy wee'le take your Oath And all the Peeres, for suretie of our Leagues. Then shall I sweare to Kate, and you to me, And may our Oathes well kept and prosp'rous be. Senet. Exeunt. Enter Chorus. Thus farre with rough, and all-vnable Pen, Our bending Author hath pursu'd the Story, In little roome confining mightie men, Mangling by starts the full course of their glory. Small time: but in that small, most greatly liued This Starre of England. Fortune made his Sword; By which, the Worlds best Garden he atchieued: And of it left his Sonne Imperiall Lord. Henry the Sixt, in Infant Bands crown'd King Of France and England, did this King succeed: Whose State so many had the managing, That they lost France, and made his England bleed: Which oft our Stage hath showne; and for their sake, In your faire minds let this acceptance take. FINIS. The Life of Henry the Fift. Publication Date: May 29th 2008 https://www.bookrix.com/-bx.shakespeare

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-darke-september-the-truth/

Darke September The Truth To my sis for always listening to me. Hello, who ever you is reading this. I think it's time you learn the truth about me. On my profile it said I was 22, but I'm not.My friend made me three profiles. I'm really only 13. Most of you know me by the names Darkmatter, Gothickat, and Eternalvampire. Is it crazy that a 13 year lod made the seventh top group? Is it that crazy that my life is a whole lie? I didn'r mean to deceive you, but I'm not good at the thing they call trust. My life is like a terror story that never ends. It's always ripping me in half. If your going to read this story, I must warn you, it's not pretty. If you thought your life was bad, wait until you here mine. Mine is only filled with murder, goodbyes, fires, and lonelyness. All my life I've lived in a shell, and it's to hard for me to break out. So if you're still mad at my lies, it's okay, you can hate me. All I ask is for you to read this book to understand why I did it. It's not easy writing the truth, but I need to tell someone, and it's not like I have parents to talk to. All I have is my foster sister who can only listen, because no one can change what happened to me. Not you, and certainly not I. This is my story. This is about a girl called Darke September, who's lost. Text: This is my life not yours, so no copying. All rights reserved. Publication Date: August 2nd 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-darkmatter

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-msmario-317-how-demons-are-born/

MsMario 317 How Demons are Born Can Demons feel LOVE? Celtic the Shadow Demon At a demon school in the bottom regions of Hell, a pure white demon with black eyes and jackolantern mouth stood nervously in front of his teacher. He was being assessed to what powers he would have, if his Lord granted him any. He was given the powers that average Shadow Demons have. His powers were being able to become a shadow on a surface, being able to possess mortals at will, changing into an average human, and lastly the ability to switch genders. He also received a bonus power. The power was a shape shifting ability, not as extreme as a dragon, but he could turn into a albino raccoon. His name was Celtic. He was a rare breed of Shadow Demon, being that instead of having a black body with red, orange, yellow, or blue eyes, he had a pure white body with black eyes. Other demons would tease him for his looks and how mentally weak he was when it came to blood, guts, and gore. Being raised in the broken down parts of Hell made him quite skittish when it came to people moving to quickly or speaking to him without warning like an intake of breath." Go back in the line Celtic." The teacher said quietly so she didn't startle him. He walked quickly back in line and sighed heavily. The demon who was standing next to him looked.....human. He had coal black hair, red demon eyes, and lightly tan skin." Your cute~" he said to Celtic. Celtic jumped slightly. When the words registered he blushed grey and looked away." S-shut up...." Celtic replied meekly." Alec, Prince of Corruption!" The boy next to Celtic smiled and walked to the room. Celtic's mouth dropped open. He had just told a royal figure to shut up. Alec came back later with a bad that had a demon star around it strapped around his right arm. That meant he got MANY powers and would need to learn to control it. Celtic sighed to himself and closed his eyes while sitting on his chair. He soon fell asleep. After a few hours he was shaken awake by his teacher who looked kindly at him." Do you need me to drive you home Celtic?" She asked kindly." N-no I'm good." He said and stood up. He walked out the door and started sprinting home to tell his dad about him getting powers." Dad?" He said as he opened the door to his house." DAD!!!" Celtic yelled and ran to his Father who was bleeding out on the floor." W-what happened...." He asked his beloved Father who was barely alive." Your mom hired some fallen angels to come take you away.....I didn't tell them where to find you. P-pack your things quickly and run. O-okay?" His Dad said and gripped his Sons hands." Ok D-Daddy." He said and nuzzled him." I love you son." He said to Celtic." I love you to Dad." Celtic said and closed his Dads eyes as he was gone. He quickly got out of his school uniform and put on a grey tank top with a sleeveless hoodie with a skull on it. He put on black jean shorts and lastly put on his black and red high tops. He ran quickly away with a book bag filled with his family photo album and his dads cash. As soon as he got some distance between him and his house he ducked down in an alleyway and cried softly. Losing the only person that truly cared about you was all to real and painful. My Savior Celtic was still sobbing to himself in the alley then he heard voices." Come out here kid!! Your mom wants to see ya!!" A obvious Fallen Angel said. Celtic was dragged out of hiding by another member of the group." I FOUND HIM BOSS!!" The fallen angel yelled and threw Celtic on the ground in front of the leader. Celtic was grabbed roughly as the Fallen Angel spread his wings and was about to take off to earth where Celtic's mom was in hiding." NO!!  LET GO OF ME!!!" Celtic screamed and fought back by kicking the man in his gut. He tried to run away, but saw a group of at least 18 more Fallen Angels standing in his way." SOMEONE HELP ME!!!" He screamed as two angels grabbed his arms and another two grabbed his legs. Suddenly fire blasted the two holding his arms in place in the face. He took the advantage to rip his legs free of being held and ran to his savior." Thank you s-so mu......" Celtic's mouth dropped when he saw it was Alec." No problem. Stay behind me." Alec said and Celtic did so." Take off my armband." He told Celtic and Celtic nodded. He took of the arm band and Alec turned into a large black dragon with red demon eyes." Turn back now or suffer the consequences!" Alec growled at them. The members of the gang were ready to advance, but their leader called them off." We will get him someday." They said and disappeared from Hell. The Prince and The Pauper Celtic felt his knees get shaky and fell to the floor." Hey are you alright?" Alec asked still in dragon form." I-I think so." Celtic said and panted softly. He looked at Alec and blushed softly the sighed." I should probably apologize for telling you to shut up." He said and stood up on wobbly legs." You don't need to, I was being an asshole and I realize that. I should be the one apologizing not you." He said and turned back to his normal, human looking, demon self. He helped Celtic stay standing and grinned sharply at him while staring into his black eyes. Celtic blushed as dark as possible (meaning he was blushing black) and leaned forward. He gently brushed his lips crossed Alec's and pulled back quickly. He looked away from Alec and sighed. Alec smiled warmly at him and pulled him in for a more passionate kiss. Celtic teared up slightly and kissed back gently. When they pulled away Celtic was panting for breath." Your beautiful you know that?" Alec said and nuzzled him. Celtic blushed softly and smiled for the first time all day." No one has ever said that about me before...." Celtic said and looked away with a deeper blush on his cheeks, but was still smiling. Today may of been horrible for him, but maybe just maybe he found someone who cared. Daddy Dearest and Mother Monstrosity Celtic was being carried bridal style by Alec as they were headed toward the Palace of Corruption." So I guess I'm going to have to meet your parents?" Celtic said as he hid his face in Alec's neck. Alec chuckled and smiled." Yeah. My dad loves rare breeds of demons like you, but my mom is always jealous of them." He said and his smile dropped." Why do you look like a human?" Celtic said as he looked Alec in the eyes." I like this form. I was born this way and my mom thought I was human until I opened my eyes. My dad knew I was his as soon as I was born." Alec said proudly. His red demon eyes felt to Celtic like they were looking straight into his soul." Ah here we are." Alec said as he walked past the guards of his home. As soon Alec entered the throne room he was greeted by his father." My son. What powers has our great Lord bestowed upon you, and who is this rare demon with you?" His father said joyfully while his mother huffed jealously." I have gained many powers father. This is Celtic. The love of my life." Alec said as he let Celtic sand and held his hands. Celtic's eyes widened and a dark blush grew on his cheeks." Then you must be wed at once!" The king said excitedly. He stood from his throne and walked toward the couple. Celtic had fear in his eyes as he looked at Alec. Alec's mother was giving Celtic murderous looks from her throne. The king turned to see his wife scaring the poor boy and grew angry." He is our sons love woman! Show some kindness or I will divorce you at once!!" Alec looked shocked but was pleased at what his father said. He could care less if the woman he called mother was mauled by a monster or hung at the gallows." Fine." Te womb said and looked away from the three of them." What a horrible woman." The king growled quietly. Celtic smiled happily, he finally had a new family. Publication Date: March 12th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-iqe1bf3dfe3f425

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-jax-teller-isn-039-t-she-lovely-wolfy/

Jax Teller, White Wolf Isn't She Lovely/Wolfy To Teen Wolf my motivation. One Bite I had just got done with doing my before I go to bed exercises when I heard rustling in the trees. So I grabbed my baseball bat and ran out side. Text: All of this book belongs to the author. No one is able to make any type of audio or copy it down mechanically or by hand. Images: bookrix Editing: LaLa Delargo Translation: LaLa Delargo All rights reserved. Publication Date: April 3rd 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-vff8a89cbf47d25

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-alexandra-rader-will-i-ever-get-out-alive-1/

Alexandra Rader Will I Ever Get Out Alive? I would like to dedicate this book to Tehya for inspiring me so much to write this. Thank you! TABLE OF CONTENTS 3        Midnight 7       Chained 10      Finding Kayla MIDNIGHT "Kayla! You spilled your beer on my brand new dress!" I shrieked at my best friend.   She smiled at me drunkenly and shrugged her shoulders in apology. I sighed and sank to the floor, swirling the contents in my bottle.   Am I seriously the only one with a buzz, besides Kayla? I thought.   We had gone to a party at an abandoned bookstore and were having the time of our lives. I looked over at a corner of the store disgustedly.   Stupid whores, I thought, as I watched a girl of maybe thirteen let an older man touch her intimately. What is going on in our society?   I'm not a virgin, but I sure as hell am not a whore. As my friend Alexis woud joke, "There is a HUGE difference between being a whore and just enjoying sex!"   I laughed at the memory and wished for the thousandth time that she hadn't moved to California. I wondered what she was doing now, and if she missed me.   "AH!" I gasped as something vibrated in my bra. My phone was buzzing impatienty.   One new text message from Dad: "Where r u?"   "On my way. Trying 2 get kayla n da car." I answered.   I quickly stuffed my phone back in my lacy red bra and helped Kayla to her feet.   "Kitty Cat?" she called out drunkenly.   "Yes, Kayla. It's me," I said in a quiet voice.   She walked through the trash scattered about on the floor and only tripped once on our way to to my red shiny 2007 Jeep Compass. She tried to get into the drivers' seat, but at a long glare, she quickly changed direction.   I slid into the seat easily. This car is my baby. I don't let anyone drive it.   I eased onto the road and slowed for a Stop sign.   Fuck this! I thought, slamming my foot into the gas. We sped past houses and other cars, bushes and birds. I raced another car and won by a block. Until finally, I recognized my street. I turned, going straight until I saw my driveway.   Home Sweet Home, I thought sarcastically, for home was not exactly a place to be called "home."   I ushered Kayla out of the car and into the hous, flipping on only the kitchen light. I put some clean clothes on my bed for Kayla to change into, and then quietly made my way to the kitchen.   I opened up a cabinet and pulled out a shot glass.   Now this is what I need, I thought happily, pouring myself a shot and downing it.   I drank four more shots and tried to take a step forward. The ground threw itself at me and attacked my shoulder as I fell heavily to the floor, laughing. I grabbed the counter and hauled myself up. I looked over at the cloc to see that it read 11:09 P.M.   Making slow progress, I finally eased myself into the soft comfort of my queen size bed. Kayla was already asleep in the corner, snoring softly. I turnedoff my alarm clock and lay back into the pillows. It was lights out instantly.       ----         I awoke with a start. Confused, my mind swirling in nonsense from fear and still heavy with the effects of alcohol. I sat up uncertainly, and saw a shadow move outside my window. Then I heard the slight whispers.   "Kayla?" I whispered urgently. "Wake up. Please wake up." She stirred, but continued snoring.    Then came a came a crash from the living room. I screamed and threw myself into Kayla. This woke her and she slapped me across the face.   "Cat, wha-" she was interrupted as my bedroom window shattered, throwing glass into our faces and onto our trembling bodies. A cold wind blew in, knocking my lamp over. I watched it fall to the floor and crack, as if it were in slow motion. I glanced over at the clock. It read 12:00 on the dot.   Midnight? I thought.   Three men threw themselves through the window and landed on us with an " Umpf " of whooshing breaths.   I screamed and one of the men covered my mouth with a heavy hand. I gazed fearfully into his clear blue eyes. Kayla's mouth was also covered.   My door slammed open and three more men walked in. They were all dressed in black. Two of them walked towards us with clubs, and swung them hard against our heads.   " Why? " I whispered to my captors, tears in my eyes, before blacking out.   CHAINED  Murmured secrets couldn't even pull me all the way into consciousness. I heard myself groan and try to move. It was useless. My arms were chainedto the top of a bed and my feet were tied to the bottom. Someone was laying beside me, playing with my dark tresses.   Playing with my hair?? I thought, as I jolted into full awakeness.   Clear blue eyes gazed back into my frightened ones. He whispered something sweetly in my ears, but I didn't hear him as I tried to choke back tears.   He jumped up and away from me, as the door was slammed open.   "Oh, you're awake I see," said one of the men, addressing me.   "Where am I?" I asked hoarsely, trying to make the fear disappear from my voice.   He laughed in my face and shoved a sock in my mouth so that I wouldn't scream.   "Well, she's all yours Justin. Have at it."   The man, the one that had been laying beside me, looked at me with sorrow filled eyes. That was Justin. He sighed and pulled out a knife. It looked wickedly sharp and it cast dancing lights when the dim light hit it right.     I started struggling and tried to spit the sock out to scream for help, but Justin put his hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes.   "Shhh," he said. "Don't struggle. It will all pass soon. Please don't make this any harder on me and on yourself."   Then he took the knife and gently cut my dress away from my stiff body. The man in the door way let out a low whistle.   "Will you look at that BODY?" he said enviously. "Damn, that girl could stop a steam boat! Take your time with this one Justin. Make it last!"   Then he shut the door and walked away laughing.   Justin looked at me, as he took his belt from his beige cargo pants. he then slid his shirt up and over his lean, muscled body showing off a farmers' tan. He seemed to have issues holding my gaze as he unzipped his pants and let them fall to his ankles. He stepped away from the discarded clothes with a hungry look in his eyes that was't there before.   "You will be mine," he whispered trumphantly.   He tore my silk pnties from my legs and stared long and hard at my naked and exposed body. I waited for him to start.   I gritted my teeth against the sock and closed my eyes as I felt him moving closer. I could feel his muscles bunch together as he laid on top of me. He kissed me softly at first, then more urgenty and passionately. Then he entered me. I bit back a scream. He entered me painfully, tearing at me. Thrusting as hard and as deep as he could. I was frightened. He was hurting me as no other had done.   Despite the pain, I felt my body begin to orgasm.   "No, bitch. Not this time. You don't get the pleasure of that."   Then he thrust himself even deeper into me and I was finally able to scream. Faster and faster he went. My legs began to feel wet.   Is that him, or me? I wondered faintly.   He kept going, despite my protests. Harder and deeper and faster. He just jept going and going and going. Finally he came in a burst, and I felt myself black out from the pain of the burn. He had torn me open too bad. I welcomed the darkness, as this man violated my body.   FINDING KAYLA I woke up once more. Yet this time it was different. I was still on the bed yes, but I was curled up in the fetal position. My hands andmy feet were no longer tied.   I lay there for a moment longer and then rolled onto my other side to scan the room.   A gasp escaped my throat for two reasons. One was that the pain from my legs and private area made stars burst in front of my eyes. And two, was that Justin was laying beside me, sound asleep.   As fast as I could think without making a noise, I scurried off the bed and into a dark corner. I leaned against the wall and let out a squeak of surprise as the wall fell away. It wasn't a wall after all, but a dark curtain that hid a long hall.   I took one last look at Justin before running. I passed doors which hid empty rooms. But the second to last door was locked. I tried the handle multiple times. Hoping and praying that it would give way. But it didn't.   I sank to the ground in despair. I was trapped. Tears fell from my azul eyes and landed softly on my legs and the dirty ground. I cried for everything lost and everyone trapped. I cried for my deceased mother and my drunken father. I cried for my friends.   At that thought, I sat up.   Where the hell is Kayla??? I thought frantically. She had been in my room with me. Had they taken her with them? Or did they just knock her out and take me?   This had me on my feet again and I was trying to get the door unlocked with an urgency that could only be related to fear and trying to survive.   The lock still wouldn't budge. I threw my hands up in frusteration and raked my fingers through my hair like I do when I'm nervous.   What is that? I thought, as my fingers pried something metal from my hair.   I opened my palm and it revealed a bobby pin. I had had my hair up for the party. Why hadn't I thought of that before?   Quickly jamming the bobby pin into the lock, I turned it. A small " click ' met my waiting ears. I allowed myself one smile of triumph, before I slowly opened the door.   Nothing had prepared me for the sight that lay beyond that closed and locked door.   I looked in and fell to the floor.   I had found Kayla... But not in the way I had wanted to.   She lay on a bed, bloody and broken. The smell of vomit was heavy in the air. She was chained as I had been, and she wasn't moving. There was no slight movement of her chest. There was no flutter of her eyes.   I got up and walked over to her. I laid my hand on her bloody forehead and smoothed away her golden locks. I kissed her cheeks and untied her hands and feet. Then I folded her hands over her body and just sat there holding her hands, until I heard the shouts that meant that someone had noticed I was missing.       TRAPPED  Three men barged into the room. One of them even had a gun. They yelled at me to stand, but my legs weren't working. I tried to, but I could barely see and when I finally made it to my feet, I tripped because of my blurry vision.   I flung myself down beside Kayla and held her cold, lifeless body in my arms. The tears were getting worse now and I kept calling out her name.   The men were screaming at me now, and finally the middle one grabbed me roughly by the arm and tried to haul me to my feet. I bit hard into his hand, drawing blood. He yelled and let me go, glaring at me as if I were an abomination.   "She bit me! Stupid bitch," he said, spitting in my face.   "You did this to her! You killed her! You MURDERED her!!!!" I screamed the words into their stunned faces. They hadn't been expecting an outburst like that.   I crumpled to the ground and started crying. Sobbing loud, wailing tears filled with sorrow.   What's happening to me? I thought desperately.   One man grabbed me by the hair and yanked my head back. He shook a knife out of his boot and held it to my throat.   "Can't I just finish her now and be done with it?" he asked harshly.   The other men laughed and were urging him on as I satvery still in my fright.   "What is going on here?" I heard a deep, yet soft voice ask.   All the men backed up, except for the one holding me.   "I'm going to slit her throat!" he exclaimed with a growling laugh.   "No, you're not," Justin said, as he stepped into view. "She is mine and she is going to remain mine."   At his words the man pressed the knife into my throat until a small trickle of blood ran down my chest. I gasped in pain and fright.   "Let her go, Josh," Justin said, taking a few steps towards us.   "Why?" Josh asked with a snarl. "Why do you get to keep all the pretty girls and do with them as you wish but we can only dispose of them as you and your father command. I think it's time to have a little fun for ourselves. Don't you agree boys?" He said, gesturing towards the two men leaning aginst the wall.   They jut stared at him stupidly. He growled and pressed the knife deeper into my throat, until my whole chest was completely covered and sticky with the warmth of my blood. I whimpered and he threw me to the ground in disgust.   "Fine, but I will get what I want someday," he said, storming out of the room.   Justin dismissed the other men and came to my side. I moved slightly away from him and he sighed.   "I'm not gonna hurt you. Just let me see your throat. Is it deep?" he asked, genuine worry in his voice.   He gently eased me to my feet and took my hands from my throat. I looked deep into his beautiful eyes and tried to conjure up hatred for this man who had hurt me deeply, but I could only feel pity as he wiped some of the blood away. Publication Date: January 24th 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-wm0a7c68e583a65

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-by-alisha-aristil-my-bff/

By: Alisha Aristil My BFF Till The End Contents Table Meeting the BFF………………. Pg.6 Trusting the BFF………………Pg.7 Silence Between a friend…………Pg.9 Thank You I would like to thank my parents for encouraging me for to be my best and my friends and teachers who believed in me and I also want to thank God for giving me this dream I been hiding behind me and now it ready to come out and I hope you enjoy my book My Talented Soul, Alisha Aristil Chapter 1 Meeting My BFF It was my first day of school and we were in class taking our seats, this girl says, “Hi what’s your name”? And I said “Hello my name is Alisha” and she said nice name and I said nothing to her and she said my name is Ronicia and she was very nice to me. Later on when we switched classes, she came to sit by me and ask me do I want to be friends. And I said to her sure why not? And we started to get to know each other and we became friends from there. One afternoon she came over my house for homework study, then she said do you want to know something crazy about me and I said sure why not, where friends right she said yeah! So then she said when I was little I used to eat ants I said are you serious she said yes. I said we should put you on my strange addiction, she was like I’m crazy but I was so serious because I mean who eats ants? However, she really had it in for our friendship, she would invite me over her house everyday, and I would say yes sometimes because I knew my mom did not play that friend thing honestly. Because we had to literally prove to my mom we were near best friends, it took like 3 weeks til we actually convinced her. Then I was free to spend time at her house anytime, expect if I slept over, I could not spend more then 3 days because you know I have a home as well, she would spend time over my house too. We would have so much fun especially when we watched horror movies my favorite was Nightmare on Elm Street her favorite was Freddy vs. Jason those were the most best horror movies ever. Chapter 2 Trusting the BFF Thursday afternoon we were walking home together and I told my friend a secret and she promised to never tell anyone the when I was talking to Christine over the phone and she told me that a little birdie told her that, I have a crush on Justin and she asked me is it true. You know I had to lie cause I didn’t want to let anyone know, then I asked her who told her she wouldn’t tell me. Saturday morning Ronicia came over and I asked did you tell Christine that I liked Justin she told me no firmly I was angry and I ask her to tell me the truth and she said she did I was mad at her for the whole weekend she was there she told me sorry 100 times, but I just can’t forgive because Christine is the gossip queen and I don’t want Justin to know just yet but after 6 weeks, no one said nothing. I was kind of surprised that Christine didn’t say anything now that is unusual, But I didn’t bother that situation at all. I left it alone, then 3 days later I went to Justin and told him I liked him, he told me he liked me to I was surprised then told me, he was going to talk to me at lunch then I told Ronicia she was happy for me. Then lunch came and Justin came to sit by me and ask me how long have I been crushing on him I said 9 weeks so far. He said WOW! Then he said I liked you for 3 and I told him why you never told me, he said I just wanted to wait the right time. We started to get to know each other better and he gave me his number, then we talked and talked but then he hanged up at 11:30 pm and I called Ronicia and she told me that she has a crush on Justin as well I did that’s why she did what she did. I ask why didn’t she tell me from the start why did what she did. I ask her did she have to lie to me. Chapter 3 Silence between a Friend Six days past and I still won’t talk to Ronicia because I deserve an apology first she lied , broke a promise I mean what else is she going to do. She tries to talk to me during school and blows up my phone and voicemail but I do not think she deserves any forgiveness. On the other hand, Justin asked me out and we have a date Friday night to the movies, but I don’t think Ronicia should know cause she probably get mad and spread it to. Friday Night Justin and I are going to the movies to watch roommate together and Ronicia called 12 times before I left but I just cannot talk to her from after what she did unless she is calling to apology. Jimmy comes and we go to the movies together but I never knew Justin was a sweetheart he was the best date I ever went on it was so fun. Then we went for smoothies and fries and he took me home at 1:30 in the morning. Surprisingly I didn’t get in trouble but I was warned not to do it again. When I check my phone Ronicia left 36 messages but I just can’t talk to her. She left me a note in my locker, Dear, Alisha im sorry I made a mistake lets get over it Im sorry for the 1000th time I want to start over where we can trust each other please!! Im sorry, Im sorry, and Im sorry again if you forgive me meet me at 3:30 @ the DOT plz… I didn’t what to say so I went to meet her and she was really sorry so I forgave her and I gave her a chance and we never had a problem again and I call that BFF and Ronicia Topped that TITLE!! The End Publication Date: August 2nd 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-sweetswaqq

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-jackie-curlett-deathbook/

Jackie Curlett Deathbook How can one book hold so many sercets? Some of this is based on a true story, Me and my friend Camie,Finding the book is real (But no worries we burned that mofo) 3/03/1999 "YO CAMIE! HURRY UP IM GONNA BE LATE FOR SOFTBALL PRACTICE!" I scream at camie. She always takes long doing her hair. "Im coming! Im coming!" Camie groched back at me. When shes finally done we go to get in the car. "So what do u think your couch is gonna say about u being late" Camie ask me "Ugh,Your right hes not gonna let this slip. This is my 3rd time being late.Hes gonna make the team un like 5 extra laps becase of me" "Whoa,Hes strict." "You got that right" After tht we arrive at the practice feild i run out to the couch. And explained my story."TEAM! LISTEN UP! YOU GOTTA RUN 6 EXTRA LAPS BECUASE OF BLACKMEN OVER HERE!" He screams. He likes to call me by my last name. "Great" I sarcastly think to myslef. After practice my dad picks me n camie up to go eat at mcdonalds. "Hehehehehe,I HAVE TH EMIND OF A 4 YEAR OLD! HEHEH" Camie saids running into mcdonalds. After we eat there we go back to my house. "Hey camie.go make yourself crotmable in my room ima go talk to my dad about when moms coming home" I tell camie. About 15 minutes later i hear camie yell my name. "KRISTY COME HERE!" "WAT?" I yell walking into the room "Wat in the hell is this book doing here!?" I went over to examine the book. It had a upside down pentagram thingy on it. "I don't know,Its a book,Maybe my big brother left it in here when he came to get one of the pet snakes" i say calming her down. "Why would your brother have tht!" Why is she making a big deal out of this,I mean damn. "Its just a notebook,calm yo tits." "JUST A NOTEBOOK? THE FUCK IT IS!? IT HAS A DAVID STAR ON IT! IT REPERSENTS SATAN!" "Throw it away than geez" "YOU CANT JUST THROW A BOOK LIKE THIS AWAY!" "See wat it has inside it than mrs. worrywart" She opens the book. "Kristy..Theres a date in it.." "Leemmme seee!!!!!" I go and take the book from her. "HEY ITS MAH BRIFF DAY DATE!" i yell "Thats not good!" "Someone remebered my bithday,It is good!" "YOU DONT KNOW WAT UR GETTING INTO KRISTY! LEAVE THE BOOK ALONE ITS NOT A GOOD THING DNT KEEP IT IN UR ROOM" I put it on top of my nightstand. And looked at the clock. "Its 8:30 pm are u staying the night or not?" I ask "Fine." She replys getting into her pjs. "Hey if it makes u feel better we will ask my big bro if he knows were it came from ok?" I say trying to make her feel better. "I guess" "Ok,Ima go take a shower mkay?" "Ok" she saids still staring at the book. I walk out and into the shower CAMIES POV The book,How could it just pop out of no were. I couldent take my eyes off of it. I was worried. I walk over to it and look at it again. "This isent just a notebook.." I say to myself. I keep thinking about it but,Andy,Kristys bro popped thur the door. Hes like my brother to,Since my brother dyed when i was 4. "Cam,Wats wrong with you" He saids plopping down next to me. My eyes still locked on the book "Im fine.." I said with acid in my voice "Gosh,I was just asking..Wat the hell is this book doing in here" "I thought you knew about it..Dident you leave it in here?" "No..." He said pushing his black long hair out of his eyes revealing his sparkling green eyes,Hes cute..REAL cute. "Than it popped out of no were.. This is bad..It has Kristy birth date in it" I say showing him. KRISTYS POV I got out of the shower and went to my room. Camie was sleeping already. "Well than,There goes staying up all night" I say to myself. I quietly walk to the dresser and get on my Pjs. I see the book on the dresser and roll my eyes. I turn around go to sit on my desk.I turn around just for a moment and than turn back to sit at my desk. The books right smack dab in the middle. "Whoa.." I say. I pick it up and put it in my bottom drawer. I woke up to the sound of kids. "Ugghhh" I groan as I get up. "KRISTY!!!!" Yelled my little cousin Kim,And David. I walk into the kitchen as Kim and Dave follows. I see a note on the refridager. "Dear Kristy,Me,your dad,aunt,and uncle went to go vist your older cousin Derek in jail. We'll be back in 3 days since hes in Californa. Love you,Take care of the kids,I dont care if Camie helps." Reads the note. "So it appears im babysitting yall" I say and sit down. "Were Hungy." "Nice,Im bored.Go get something eat." "We cant cook" "Learn to make a sandwhich." Chapter two I appear in a strange room . Its dark and humid in here. Where am I? Wheres Camie? What is this place..? All these questions running thourgh my mind..I carefully get up and exmine my surroundings..Its hard because like I said its well DARK! I find a notebook on the dresser and I quietly but carefully pick it up..Straining to read it. Its appears to be a diary "My life is horrid . Excuse me while I sit here and wish I was dead because I have noone to lean on . I have to steal blades cause my family wont surpport me anyway . Then comes in my job . I hate that to. more like it hates me..Oh well..People laugh at me as I walk in a room..How can I ginore? They call me a emo fag . Im glad they dont see my scars . Im insuecure about them but yet I keep making more . Im gonan do it,Im gonna pull the trigger..Here I go ..One.Two..Thr-" The book saids. "Oh my..Thats horrid.." I pick up a flashlight that jsut rolled at my feet and shine it around . I see a stranger figure int he corner rocking . I dont go near but I exmine it hard . It appears to be a boy . With a gun.. He put it up to his head . "DONT! ITS NOT WORTH IT STOP!" I yell but a vocie whispers in my head.."He cant hear you." Than a evil laugh . BOOM! the trigger was pulled..I scream and yell with tears it my eyes. I dident know the boy but..Than my surroundings change..Im in a highschool buliding. That same boy is walking down the halls. I rush over to him ignoring the strange surround change in a blink of a eye . "Hey ! Are you okay?!?" I say. "HE.CANT.HEAR.YOU." The vocie saids again. Then some boys come up and push the boy in a locker..And jsut beat him . IO close my eyes but it dosent go away . But it finally does. I see a face..A face a normal person would have a heart attack if they saw. "You life will be horrid just like min- I mean that boys was..." The vocie saids as the pictures of faces go away. And suddenly im in my bed..Like nothing happened. I walk into the living room and see Camie knocked out on the couch and Andy watching my little cousins "Hey guys.." I say as I walk in. My cousins are asleep so basically im just talking to Andy. "How'd you sleep.You okay. You seem troubled." "Im fine..Just had a nightmare." I say lying. I know it wasent a nightmare. It was to real to be one. "Good,You hungry?" "Naah,I think ima go for a walk..." I say getting my jacket and walking out the door. I run down to Erickas house. Knowing shes home alone I run in without knocking . She dosent get mad cause were like sisters. "Well Hi to you to.." She saids as I rush in looking thur her stuff for something. "Hey,No time to talk gotta use ur phone to call Aaron. My phones dead and I cant use my brothers." "Is it that important?" "Yes." I give her a glare than get back to serching . "Pfft..Here...God.." She saids slamming her phone on the table beside me and she goes intot he living room. I quickly dial Aarons number "AYE BRO" He saids into the phone . "Shut up and meet me at the park." I say and hang up. Publication Date: August 15th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-jackiegoesrawr

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-plk-not-another-soap/

PLK Not another soap Text: PLK All rights reserved. Publication Date: November 28th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-meryle101

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-cierra-laynee-039-is-this-my-last-flight/

Cierra Laynee&#39; Is This My Last Flight? It's Not Done Yet! Dedicated To My Popi who died of lung cancer and passed away March 08, 2o11. R.i.P Popi I Miss You && iLoveeeYouu ! It's not done so keep that in mind let me know what your opinion is so far and tell me what you think. I was dreaming and sleeping heavily when, I opened my eyes quickly to the sound of the Television flashing “Please Fasten Your Seatbelts”. So I awoke very quickly as if I just drank five tons of coffee. The Plane started to shake and rattle everywhere. People were worried and screaming. The plane stopped shaking and rattling after about a half an hour. I was thinking in my head. Thank goodness my life could have just ended, there would have been no Callie Anne' . What would my mom have said if I died? Would she have cheered or cried? What would he say if I would have died? As all these thoughts came rushing through my mind. I burst into tears. Then I thought of my ex that didn’t make it any better. So I cried a waterfall. Out of nowhere, I heard a amazing dreamy country voice ask "Are you okay?" "Because I don't want a cute girl like you to cry!" I looked over, after fixing my make-up, and shot him a grin as a giggle escaped my lips. I said “Now I am and I’m on my way to this boarding school place”. Then The thoughts of my ex quickly faded and so did my tears. He chuckled and said “ What a surprise so am I” “Well I am Callie Anne' and you are?” “I am Jesse, so is there a boyfriend in the picture” he said trying to be flirty. “Well Jesse your just trying to be cute aren’t you” I said “Well Ms. Callie Anne' I just thought you were beautiful with your brown hair, and those bright green eyes. So do you have a boyfriend?” “I love how your trying to be all slick there cutie. No I don’t have a boyfriend and thank you.” We got to talking during our flight and hours passed us by as we got to know each other. About a half an hour before we land all of a sudden the plane started rattling and shaking. The seatbelts light came on, the pilot came on saying "Everyone! Maintain your emotions and please stay calm! We are experiencing some difficulties with the plane. Please make use of the oxygen masks we have provided right above your heads!" Then right on time the oxgen masks fell from there compartments above are heads. I put the mask on quickly. I know I look like a dork but I rather live then die. Then after the long train of thought, I looked at Jesse and he held me tight in his big muscular arms. We just gazed into each others eyes. Then out of no where women began screaming in very loud high-pitched tones. Children began screaming and crying and kicking. Fathers sweat truck loads of sweat, as they were trying to calm everyone else down not showing that they’re freaked out. Chapter Two (: We started going faster and faster and then...... Boom! I can't remember much but what I do was pretty great! All I know is I blacked out and I woke up to the sound of Jesse's sweet country voice saying “Callie Anne' get up”. “Callie Anne' Please Wake Up!” Next thing I know I opened my eyes while his lips pressed against mine. "Whooooooooooooo Umm, Jesse what happened" I wiggled a little "Ouchy my arm hurts” I mumbled like a little girl. I finally blurted out “ WAIT?! why did you kiss me”. Jesse quickly answered “ did you ever think it was because I like you?”. I gave him a confused look. He said “I think you like me too! You just will not admit it, you just told me your whole life story and I told you mine, so you must have something there even if it’s a crush”! He quickly added “Plus your lips were super shiny because of all the watermelon lip-gloss you put on” and gave a devious grin. Callie Anne' nodded her head in agreement and said “Maybe you should taste my other strawberry - watermelon lip-gloss”. He chuckled “That was cute and we should get you out of here and get that arm checked out”. My cheeks began to turn red from blushing. He helped me up and carried me to a taxi. Jesse told the driver "Hospital please and quick." The driver replied "Okay it's gonna be an hour or so is that okay?" Jesse nodded in agreement. I just laid my head on his lap. Thinking, could I really be falling for a guy I just met? Do I look like a slut by thinking this? I proably know more about him then his mother! He told me every detail in his life. Even the bad stuff and I did the same. He started strocking his fingers throgh my hair. I continued my train of thoughts. Wow I think I am. I'm 16 and falling for a kid I've known for a day. I quickly fell asleep after thinking for a while. Chapter Three(: I shortly awoke in a hospital room, with Jesse and a Doctor. Who look like a wanna be Mc.Dreamy. Jesse said "I need to talk to you when your feeling awake and alive". I nodded in agreement and said "alrighty then". I begged for some coffee for what seem to be hours but in reality it was about five minutes. Jesse and the want to be McDreamy Doctor finally gave in. After Jesse left, I pondered about that kiss we had just the day before, it was soft and sweet. I’m not just saying sweet because of my delicious Smuckers Watermelon lip gloss. But there was a spark there and I don’t know if he felt it or not but I sure as hell did. I really think I’m in love with Jesse Ray Yates. I heard footsteps so my heart starting racing really fast, goose bumps appeared on my skin. Jesse turned twisted the door knob and walked in and said softly “Babe I got your coffee with a spoon full of sugar and French Vanilla Creamer mixed in it.” Jesse handed it to me and then kissed me and said “Oh there’s a little extra sugar on the side!” I started blushing and giggling I finally let out a little voice that said “I’ll take a little more sugar on the side when I am awake baby cakes.” I sat up and gulped down my coffee in about ten minutes. I yawned real loud and stretched out. I looked at Jesse after the long silence and blurted out “So baby what is it you need to talk about?” He looked at me, cleared his throat and explained “I have been thinking about that kiss and how I told you I like you and everything but babe, I don’t think It’s just love I think it is love. You literally told me everything about you and I did the same with my life. Your amazing and beautiful. Plus that kiss OH MY GOSH babe you had to feel something there I know you have to I felt it!” He quickly added “That Lip-Gloss was freaking amazing by the way!” He winked at me and blushed. I looked over at him leaned in and kissed him and smiled. I yelped “Babe so how do you like my strawberry one, but babe you described exactly what I was thinking I feel this was about you. I thought it would make me look like a slut or stupid for falling for a guy I have known for two freaking days. But like my grand-mother has always said ‘It may take seconds, minutes, hours, days maybe even weeks to fall in love but it takes over a life time to get over the love you had if it was as true as you think!’ I know there is hope for us and I felt the spark and I Want you and only you!” We both smiled and blushed and leaned into a soft, sweet strawberry flavored kiss which seemed to not last long enough. Let me know if I should continue or not! :D heart && comment Thankss :D Text: I wrote do not steal thankss! All rights reserved. Publication Date: February 17th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-cierralaynee

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-jahari-secrets/

Jahari webb Secrets the secrets are getting out,whos letting them To my mom and best friend Subira Text: a Key with the words secrets on it All rights reserved. Publication Date: March 26th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-leo1556

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-taveon-sexy-about-purdue/

taveon sexy about purdue purdue chapter:taveon aka keke 3-9-12 taveon is very sexy in smart is farvite sport is football but he like basket ball to he be ducking on darshawn shooting on trey dejon quincy that it and quincy trey be trying fight then we got sit down in not play for rest of day we all this these siting there sick of burton big mouth chapter 2:dejon aka shayboogie 5-9-12 dejon that this me nigga doe he beast in basket he be block some body every body stuff and dunk on every body cross every body he is litte gumbien from gamp ent and dont play no games if some body trying bump he will bump Chapter 3:darshawn aka dijane 4-9-12 darshawn is my nigga in he play basket ball but he not dont good because he play football he dont pall he little manic from 34 he a beast when we play and the jmy and he be getting on boy head bad define shawn hean boy i was going write about other people but for get them Publication Date: May 14th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-taveon

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-ashon-thadon-ice-cream-man-prequel-to-untamed/

Ashon Thadon Ice Cream Man(prequel to Untamed) the beginning of a legend Blackhood series page prologue For the record, I am not a thug, I'm a businessman. "Felix, youse gonna waste him, homes." That's my best friend, Carlos Mendoza, asking me that question. He's asking me that question because I'm holding a snub nosed 32. Caliber pistol in front of some kid maybe five years older than me. The kid had violated and touched my older sister, Yelissa. Now here I am, only thirteen, but I have to let not just him but the whole neighborhood know my family is not the one to fuck with. So when my big sister, who’s only fifteen, tells me some cabron tried touching her bottom, I don't care what age he is. I'm bringing it to him. So Carlos wasn't a bit surprised when I came to his apartment which was one floor below mine and asked to borrow his brother's gun. Carlos' brother, known as Tres Locos in the neighborhood, was a heavy drug dealer and always kept an assortment of guns at his mother's house. Tres Locos had his own apartment, in fact quite a few, around the neighborhood but his mother's casa was his main stash spot. Carlos had no problem finding me one of Tres Locos' many weapons of destructions and handing it to me. But he wanted to tag along. Now usually I like to do dirt alone but I decided to say 'fuck it' and let him come. The dude that my sister had complained about earlier was still outside in front of the local bodega at the corner. He had two other older boys with him but that didn't bother me. To me, all three of them were 'hijos de puta(sons of bitches)'. I casually walked to the main culprit with Carlos in tow. I didn't know how I was going to approach him or what technique I was going to use. All I knew was my feet was moving and they were marching in his direction. What really surprised me was how calm I was on the outside when I was scared shitless on the inside. But it was too late to back out now. "Hey, puta!" was all I remember saying and then I rose my hand with the gun in it and smacked the pervert across the face with it. The kid went down like a sack of hard rocks and his buddies stood in shock. I waved the handgun around and the two friends that were with the kid I knocked to the ground ran off. I pointed the gun at my sister's handler and Carlos asked me the question that I didn't even think about. I mean I asked for a gun not a knife or a bat. The rule of the street is if you pull out a weapon, you better use it or you may not be so lucky next time. But here I was. I was holding a weapon that caused death and could possibly change my life forever. If I pulled the trigger, I would be a murderer. I would have a police record, I would go to jail and I would be a disgrace to my family. All for what? Because some young pervert wanted to touch my sister inappropriately. The kid didn't rape her, he didn't even fondle her real hard. Was it worth losing his life? "Listen, motherfucker," I said as the kid held his bloody nose with his hand still in fear on the ground. "If you ever touch my sister again, you die." With that threat, I walked away. At the time I didn't know I had an audience. At that time, I didn't know I had put into play events that would later change my life. The reason why I'm telling you this is because I'm doing it again. Five years later. Holding a gun in front of some young dude's face for violating and touching something that's mine. It's not my familia this time, this time it's my product. Two grams of the purest white substance this world ever made. And this guy took it upon himself to help himself to what was mine. Now this time I can't simple say 'don't do it again'. This time a lesson has to be taught. This time that question has to be answered without hesitation. My homey, Carlos, now named Starlos, is still beside me. This time he is holding a weapon of his own holding back the group of onlookers that didn't ran off. Example has to be made this time. A bloody nose and a swift kick in the culo is not going to let this problem go away. This guy will come back. No second chances. I know Carlos, sorry Starlos, has my back and knows the decision I have to make. The streets are watching. It's not like it was five years ago. My mentor told me so. The same mentor who told me that I had to handle this problem on my own or the problem would handle me. The same mentor that gave me the stuff that this dumb motherfucker stole. "Negro, you need to make up mind and fast, muchacho," Starlos whispered. Same rules applied as it did five years ago. If I shoot this puta, same jail time, same record, same family disgrace. But I still had to do something so I did. Bang! The shot was deafening. Whoever had stood around before started to run. Even my homeboy Starlos was about to start a sprint. I just nodded and we took off. My first murder in broad daylight. I couldn’t believe I had pulled the trigger this time. I ran home which was now a small two bedroom apartment I shared with Starlos when we started hustling. I was so sure the police was going to come barging through my door any minute. But they never did and that’s how I knew I was going to be invincible.     chapter 1 “All rise,” the bailiff shouted to everyone in the courtroom. Everybody stood up as the judge walked in and took his position behind the podium. Felix Orlando half smirked as he looked at all the suckers that looked like they was about to bow down to this bitch ass dude in the robe. Felix had that air of confidence that you could smell right away. After all he was invincible. The judge read off a list of charges and asked the defendant who he pleaded. The defendant happened to be Felix Orlando. “Not guilty,” was all Felix said. He was damn sure not about to say ‘your honor’. The judge lucky he didn’t say the word ‘bitch’ behind his plea. Felix listened to his lawyer say something to the judge in his defense. All Felix was waiting for was to hear how much bail was. He had been through these procedures before. It was nothing new. They had nothing on him like they had nothing on him last time. Felix was just wondering when they , that meant the prosecutors, the police, his rivals, would get the hint. You can’t touch Felix Orlando. Felix tuned back in when he heard the judge set bail even after the bitch ass prosecutor stated how much of a flight risk he was. Felix wasn’t running anywhere. Brooklyn was his home. That’s where he built his empire. Why would he run? To live off his savings? His cost of living was too high. He liked the finer things in life and that meant steady income. And steady income resided in a borough of New York called Brooklyn meanly a section called Brownsville. So that’s where Felix Antonio Orlando was going to stay at. Flight risk, my ass. Bail was set and matched on site. He already had money set up in a bails bond account. Felix always thought ahead and he would never spend a minute more in jail then he had to. Prison was for losers that couldn’t afford to keep their freedom and Felix knew he was determined not to be one of those unlucky many. The afternoon sun felt good hitting his face as he stepped out of the courtroom with lawyer in tow. His small entourage was already waiting down the court steps to greet him and take him home. A black limousine pulled up on the sidewalk and a gorgeous Spanish female driver stepped out. She had long auburn hair going to her back and a body of a model that you see on cover of magazines. She gracefully walked to the back of the limousine and opened the door while all the men just looked on drooling with their mouths wide open except for Orlando. He was used to it. This is how he was expected to be treated: like a king and nothing else. Orlando offered his lawyer a ride but he declined and he knew his crew already had their own vehicles to get back. Once the driver made sure Orlando was in, she walked back to the driver’s seat making sure to give the onlookers a good look at what they would be dreaming about tonight. Orlando just laughed at his small crew of misfits from the comfort of his leather seats as he looked at them from the tinted windows of the limo. Those men may have been oglers but they were also the most dangerous men he ever had the pleasure of encountering and managing. They basically were the reason why he could do his business without worrying about the harsh reality of jail time. His team was what made him what he was: a force to be fucking reckon with. “You know where to,” Orlando simply told his lovely driver. The driver nodded and proceeded to drive the limo unto the street. As Orlando leaned back in the cushion, he started to reflect on his life and how he came to be the man he was. It wasn’t easy, not by a long shot. It took some trial and tribulations. Yes, it was a journey but a prosperous one. A very prosperous journey, indeed.           My first body. I can still recall it. I have to. It changed me. But I didn’t start off wanting to be a bad ass. I started off in the drug game like most people do. It was for a purpose, to support mi familia. I had to take care of mi hermana even though she was older than me and definitely mi madre since she couldn’t speak a lick of English to work anywhere else but a maid or laundry service. Tres Locos knew talent when he saw it and he said he saw extreme talent in me. He saw me teach that chump a lesson when he tried to violate my sister and he knew he could use me in his organization. Besides I was cool with his little brother which pretty much made us family. Tres Locos really didn’t want his little brother involved in the kind of business he was in but he knew he couldn’t shield Carlos from it either. Carlos was already a well-known name due to his brother so he also knew that the same enemies that were out to get him would try to go for his family. Now Carlos is my boy, mi amigo. But he has no heart, no corazón. He’s basically a follower. If he didn’t have me to run around with, he would have probably latched on to some other clown kid and would have gotten into real trouble. Tres Locos loved how I handled myself as well as keep his Little brother in line and safe. My reputation was based on just me putting in work. I was una persona fría, a very cold individual and it didn’t take long for the streets to take notice. And take notice it did. “You handled yourself very well, mi hermano,” Tres Locos was beaming as I walked into his office which was in the back of a local strip club with his actual brother, Carlos, in tow. “Job well done. You handled that puta with no problema. I’m glad that Starlos is in good company.” Starlos smiled but I knew he was a little jealous his own brother was given me more attention than him but that’s life. You have to earn stripes to count in this mundo. Props can be a birthright but to keep it you have to get dirty. And looking at Starlos, he was happy just being Tres Locos’ brother and my best friend since we protected him and still made him look like el hombre malo. “Look, don’t worry about la policía,” Tres Locos, I guess, saw the concerned look on my face. “I have them as you say in my hip pocket. You did good. Muy bien. And the streets is noticing you.” I smiled. I liked the encouraging words and even though Carlos, aka Starlos, was smiling beside me, I knew he wasn’t liking the idea of the big hermano giving me my props and basically signaling him out. I knew it would only be a matter of time before Starlos’ jealousy gets the best of him and me. “Look, hermano, I got some big stuff coming in today,” Tres Locos was now getting to the reason he called us into his office in the first place. “Mucho peso. Heavy. Manny and estúpido Benny got caught on dry run and it’s gonna take mucho tiempo y dinero to get those two culos out so I need you to be in charge of this, hermano. Can you handle it? I know you young, jovencito. But I need you on this, rápido. You on?” “Si, hermano,” I agreed. I knew this was a chance of a lifetime. A major drug boss was putting me in charge of a package. That was beyond a honor, that was a gran logro. And I was ready. Publication Date: March 4th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-wz56446a3341625

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-linzey-jupiter-dear-diary/

linzey jupiter Dear Diary august 30 dear diary, today was the first day of school. wish me luck tell u about it when i get back home. today was the first day of school for heather and has a new look for this year hoping her friends and her secret crush devan likes it. she has liked devan for almost two years.she has tried almost amything just so he would notice her. today she did a good job today everyoene stared at her and he folowed her like a golden retreiver. her friends liked it to but they were jealous because there parents wont let them wear make-up. also because they had a crush on him too. so they tried too make sure they spent less time together. what friends huh. well it didnt work until a new girl walked in. he left her in a heartbeat. so she stood there with confusion on her face and tears in her eyes. dear diary, today was the best and worst day of my life. i had devan wrapped around my pinkie, but then the new girl came and introduced herself to him. i realy hoped he would stay with me the whole day atleast. at morning break we looked into each others eyes. he had this loving look in his hazel eyes. i bet you he saw the same thing in my brown eyes. i looked at him every second he was with me, his dirty blonde hair that would get in his eyes, his eyes,his smile, his muscular body. i think im i love. i love everything he does.but i know i will never get to be in his arms. im so tired and confused. goodnight. august 31 dear diary, ok, so yesterday didnt go as smooth as i planed. but im not giving up. ill just hang out with him today with his friends. good thing his friends are my friends. "deap breaths. deep breths."heather said to herself as she walked over to devan and his friends. "hey guys whats up." "oh hey heather have you met mariah"devan said. "no not yet. hi mariah im heather" "nice to meet you" she said while shaking heathers hand. "hey seth, hey derek, hey damian." "hey feather" they all chirped. only because when she was little and the guys thought girls had cuties. the guys threw feathers all over her because they thought that it would cure her cuties. they were friends before they knew about cuties so they did it because they still wanted to hang out with her. "will you stop calling me that." "will you ever forget about it" damian said. "how can i. i still have feathers in my hair. and you did it in first grade and were in 7th grade now" "well we were just doing our job" "and what was that. to make my parents hate you for 3 years. well if thats it than mission acompished" "no it was for a good nick-name" they all said like they were in a chior. "ok that was weird." "what's so weired." they said altogeter again. "that Publication Date: October 16th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-linzeyjoyful1

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-sereniti-lynch-invisible/

Sereniti Lynch Invisible Publication Date: November 20th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-sereniti

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-speculative-fiction-authors-ana-039-s-ghost/

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Name="Book Title" <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"> /w:LatentStyles ![endif]--!--[if gte mso 10] <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} ![endif]-- There is no suspense, leaping from the past to the future, just breathing in between.   Ironically, there's simply no time to experience anything except your own heartbeat, the sound of your own breathing.    She thought this as she watched the fading sunlight glint off of the razor blade poised in her right hand.    Tormenting thoughts filled her mind as she thought about pictures full of memories of her lost love who had faded from history as if he were just part of her imagination.   Time is such a feeble thing. When the shadows of love taunt you like the villain in your life story.   It is this that caused Ana's distress: she had gone through it all, and no one had come to save her from the cruelty of the world, no matter the time.   She watched as the sun hides her face behind the horizon, her outstretched pinks reaching for his dark blues, their infinite chase for love.   It was now or never...   A spark on the horizon caught her eye, a flash that should not have been.   That spark might alter her actions for the rest of her time - time that she wasn't completely sure existed until then.   Ana turns back to her room, haunted by the ghosts in the picture frames surrounding her.   Something strange was going on.    The ghost of her love appeared in front of her as if she was dreaming. Shocked Ana gasped trying to figure out if it was real or just her imagination playing a cruel joke on her.    She felt sick. She shook her head to know everything was just a piece of her imagination.   Except that this "piece" suddenly spoke, telling her she should leave the past alone, its final words as it - or was it he? - glowed back into obscurity, "To change the past is to play God with all life in the future, Ana. Leave it alone."    She gave a deep sigh, not understanding the games that were being played between her mind and her heart.    A strange sensation in her hand distracted her; she looked down to see that she had made a fist around the razor, and it had sliced partway into her palm.   She panicked, not knowing why, but scared nonetheless.   She had sliced her wrist and the pain was cold, she waited for death to come and take her far away. She closed her eyes thinking of him again for the last time, tears then brushed her eyelids as the pain got unbearable.   "Ana!" She heard someone calling out her name and opened her eyes, as the rivulets of tears cascaded down her pretty face.   A crimson wave flowed from her wrist, spilling to the carpet at her feet like soured wine. Again she heard the voice, this time docile, a whisper caressing the edge of her hearing like one final kiss goodbye.   Darkness took over as her eyes closed for what felt like forever. 'Is this it? Is this what death feels like?' she thought.   Ana felt a sensation of cold and soothing warmth at once. As though the chills of life had settled in her bones and the release of death was thawing her through.   She heard someone else calling her name, this time a familiar voice from the past, and she opened her eyes to see nothing but white and the ghostly figure of her lost love.   This can't be right, she thought sadly. He's dead. He cannot help me.   Her crushed soul lingered in the dream world, wishing that somehow she might see her lost lover once more.   And then, like an epiphany, there was music, music that awoke her from a dream she didn't realize she was having, to a reality that was both a relief and a despair - the dream had convinced her that she'd used the razor to cut her wrist and end her life instead of using it to cut through the continuum to bring her into the past, while the reality showed she had only sliced into her palm and she was still here, undying, filled with woe.   The music told a strange, alluring story of heartbreak and betrayal, the soft melody attempting to describe her feelings.   "Ana? Oh good you're awake," a voice spoke from behind. She turned to see her sister walking into the small bedroom and work her way over to the dresser with a large round mirror sitting on the top of it and a bowl of water.   "What have you done to yourself?" the small girl asked, alarmed. She rushed over and snatched the razor from her sister's hand.   She was half listening, she felt normal, the pain was not as everyone talked about it. Her heart ached more than her hand.   Tears bereft of feeling caress the contours of her cheeks, falling hollow on to the blade still perched between feverish crimson fingers. “Why Ana?”   Ana had no explanation for the child.   Stuttering, she attempted to sit up, her muscles sore.   "H-help me..." She was able to say before she collapsed, crumpling to the floor like a torn curtain.   Spots dance in Ana's vision and her head swims with the sudden loss of equilibrium.    She doesn’t know how long she was out but when Ana opened her eyes, the light was blinding. She blinked against its harshness just as a shadow came into her view. “My darling, are you alright?” Her love’s voice was familiar and soothing.   Publication Date: October 1st 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-vb3b367848da425

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-melissa-lissy-in-a-blink-of-an-eye/

melissa lissy IN A BLINK OF AN EYE in a blink of an eye noone FIRST DAY I wake up to a loud ringing. I'm half asleep so I fumble around for something so i can make it shut up! wait! I know that sound its my alarm clock and itsgoing off for my first day of 11th grade great! Don't get me wrong i like school and most the people in it its just i go to school with my 3 older brothers tyler, brody, and blake. They are super overprotective and nosey. I'm the only daughter my parents had so that makes me their only sister and their little sister at that. My name is genniveve but my family and close friends call me genni blake's the oldest he's in colledge first year. The other two brody and ty well their twins and seniors. By now they are up and yelling all in the house so i can forget about sleeping the day away and not going to school. Just then i hear a knock on my door "gen you got to get up its a new year and we are with out blake! so now we have no reason to be late you got an hour to get dressed and to eat so hurry up!" that was brody he's a minute older than ty. I get up plug in my curling iron and get to business then do my make up mascara eyeliner lipgloss and blush. I go to my closet and pull out some red skinny jeans black pumps and a shirt that showed just alittle more than usual. Now that blake is gone i'm gunna take advantage of that little bit of freedom he would always tell me to change if iwore stuff he thought wasnt up to his approval and the twins they just tell me to cover up. As i walk down the stairs i see them scarfing down the last of the breakfast my mom made so i go to the cabnet and grab a poptart. While im opening it i notice ty staring at me "What...what are you staring at!?" i say.  He looks at me for a minute and says"BRODY!! you're going to let her leave the house like that!?!" brodys coming down the stairs with something black in his hand which i now notice as my leather jacket. He hands it to me and says"just put it on so we can go" I do as he says and we get in his mustang. Man is his car a beauty its red with a black strip on it. I LOVE IT! RIDGE WAY HIGH We pull up to the school and get a very good parking might i just add. I jump out as soon as the car stops but a hand quickly comes and grabs my arm and me back. BRODY. "yes?" i say. He looks kind of mad " no have a good day or a hug or a i love you bro?""i love you bro" is what isay while giving him a hug i walk up to ty and do the same and leave to my first class....the day went by really fast and i have 4 classes with some seniors none with my brothers thank god! but i do have jess in all of them. Jess is all 3 of the boys's friend but he super close to blake. He talked to me in bio. class about how i was and how was blake i hadnt seen him since blake left 2 months ago. Wow his green emerald eyes just look stright into your soul and those lips are so damn beautiful what i would do to be able to kiss them...oh by the way i have a crush on jess always have since i was nine im 17 now just turned a month ago. we talked for awhile here and there but not for too long at a time he knew where to draw the line unless he wanted a royal ass whipping from my bro's. Almost everybody knew who i was but because of my brothers some guys would even try to talk to me and get at me just to piss my brothers off and to see how much they could get away with NOT MUCH thats forsure hahaha alittle man handling in p.e.  from the twins and blake and they didnt even look my way again. sometimes it was fun but sometimes my brothers ruined good things ugghhhh. Like jess. well atleast he said he's coming over this weekend for blake's visit. As soon as the bell rang i made a run for it during 3rd period jay dallas asked me if he could walk me home i said yes because he was the only boy that has even really talked to me today and plus he's on the football team and he is super gorgous. I met him by the exit and we started walkiing i live on the other side of the train tracks right after the field behind the school. " I was suprised you said yes you know that i could walk you home". "well ofcourse..why would i say no?" i say."no reason hahah ummm.... theres a party this saturday and i would really like you to come..its at billy thompson's house."."Yes i would love to come!" the boys would be distracted  with  blake home i could finally go out and have some fun! we finally got to the tracks and i said bye he leaned in and before i knew what was happening he was kissing me and dang was he good! I didnt relize but i was kissing him back. HONK HONK HONK!!! JAY looks up and i see him blush then i look and see brody's car oh shit. i tell him bye and that i'll see him at school lucky he gets the hint and leaves. I turn around and slam into something hard. ty. "who the hell was that!!?" ty yells at me "none of your business "i say lucky ty is on lacross and not football and doesnt hangout with football players anyway....too bad i couldnt say the same for brody who is infact on the football team and knows jay!! "I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU WITH HIM AGAIN GENNI!!" brody shrieks DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN? Its wed. and i havent seen jay since monday..what if the twins found him and mudered him uhhh okay calm down gen its no big deal they havent even brought it up since monday so scratch that off the list. Just then jay comes into class and smiles at me he takes the seat next mine on my right while jess is on my left omg. "hey cutie" jay says with that comment i blush and sneek a glance at jess he's looking at jay with an arched eyebrow. oh crap! what if he tells brody or ty...oh well its already done!"hey yourself" is my reply. kind of corny but yeah its what i said."well sorry i didnt come to class i came to school but at p.e. brody and ty kind of tackled me and i had to go to the dr.s and make sure nothing was broken...nothing was hahaha."omg."what they did that to you im so sorry"i said "no dont be their just looking out for you and plus that kiss was worth it.!!" oh man he said that pretty loud! i turn alil and see jess's face flaming red! what the heck is he mad that jay was talking about the twins or was he JELLO! HAHA i didnt have time to think about it because jay's lips were on my neck and by my ear whispering something i couldnt hear because i was paying attention to jess...who got up and left the class. The bell rang and i left to brody's car got in and went home when we got home i went to my room...did that really happen..why did jess care what jayy and i did. I went to school the next day no jess and no jay. Okay maybe this is good no boys to distract me the day flew by fast i was already in the car when ty and brody came they looked at eachother and got in the ride was quite and then finally "Are you mad or something lil sis" said ty he looked at brody with begging eyes probably asking for help."nope" is what i said..''oh well you're silent back there like a deaf mute or something".."just dont feel good" is what isaid because honestly i was sort of mad at what they did to jay but i couldnt yell at them for it because then they would know that i talked to him. i ran up to my room and locked my door when we got home and went to sleep. THE WEEKEND IS ALMOST HERE I wake up. I hear laughing booming from downstairs.....wait a minute thats blake's laugh omg i was so caught up in highschool drama i didnt think of blake. I run down stairs and hug him so tight "you're back blake you're back!" "well duhh it's thursday the same day i told everybody i'd be home hahaha!" he says. "Go upstairs and get dressed genni just because blake's here doesnt mean school magically disappered" ughh i forgot i run upstairs and put on my black shorts with the tares on the front and black and white stripe v-neck with my black and white vans. I strighten my hair and put on my makeup grab my black purse and i run back down the boys sit there looking at blake take in the fact that im wearing shorts and  a vneck that is a lil low...my aunt steph says if you got them flaunt them but dont be a hoe.yup she told me that when i was 11 hahaha blake was turning all kinds of colors so i just grabed the twins by their wrists and dragged them tothe car hopped in and left whoo that was close! We arrived at school kind of lateand the boys went to class and i ent to my locker. when i was reacing in hands grabbed my waist and turned me around.jay who was now kissing all over my neck and shoulder. he brings his face back to mine and i bite his bottom lip asking for accesess i was granted hmmm we stayed like that him holding on of my thighs up and his other holding my face and me pushed up against my locker with my hands twisted in his hair next thing i know BAM! a fist connects to jays face blood goes all over my white and black vneck and i fall down because jay was practically holding me and my face hits then floor HARD!. Then i see that same fist coming down again this time to jay's gut ooooohhh that had to hurt finally i look up expecting brody or ty but no its jess with his face mad as hell. With jay crumpled on the floor jess grabs my arm and grab me up i try to pull away but its no use he throws me over his shoulder and his speedwalking to his truck he opens the back door and sets me down on the seat and looks at me at first mad as hell than it looked like he was sorry or scared or something before i can ask whats wrong i feel something drizzle down my forehead to my chin and alot of it and then i see it BLOOD! HOSPITAL Jess took me to st. charles hospital where i got 5 stitches on the side of my forehead. He said he was sorry on the way home it was like 5pm already the hospital took forever. We dont talk for awhile until i say"why did you hit jayy?" he looks at me kind of sad mixed with anger."he was feeling you up in a corner and i could see him reaching for other places to put his hands!!" he sure was mad now"what if i wanted that you didnt know!"i yelled back"i dont care if you wanted him to i cant stand the idea of another guy kissing you or touching you or you wanting that guy to... let alone see it!!!"whattt didd hee sayy!"what did you say ANOTHER GUY"he looks at me"yeah another guy...any guy! come on gen you know how i feel about you how i've always felt"wtf!"wait!noooo! i dont you never have said anything about feelings about me you barely look at me or talk to me!"i say"well do you think i have alot of options? your brothers would kill me and never let me talk to you atleast i get to see you sometimes now but that would all be gone if i told you how i felt or acted on my feelings!" I didnt say anything after that niether did he. I got out of the car without a word..we were already home. "Bye gen" he whispers. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I walked into the house and i was rushed by my brothers and questions where were you..do you know what time it is...what happened to your face...who were you with...who did that..i just say goodnight. I go upstairs and take a hot shower and let the water fall on my back i get out and get dressed in my boxers and tank top. KNOCK KNOCK "hey gen.....umm its me blake can i come in?"I open the door and go to sit on my bed he does the same " What happened to your head?""i fell""obvisouly but how?" i tell him the story except the part about what jess said. He shakes his head and hugs me and then walks out of my room i got to sleep. The next day i put my bangs out so they cover my stitches and strighten the rest of it....i put on my white shorts with my red vneck and red vans. I ran down stairs and got in the car just when the boys did we went to school and ty put the radio blasting obvisouly not to talk about what happened blake must have told him. We pull up to school and i got off and walked into school with some people staring at me probably knowing about yesterday ugghh just my day!. I see jess during the day but he doesn't talk to me what the hell how can he say something like he did yesterday and act like it never happened but i guess it doesnt matter to him. I go to class and see jayy sitting next to my seat he smiles at my with a little swollen lip and some purple and blue on some parts of his face. He must not be mad at me? "hey beautiful"he says witha big ol' goofy grin. I see jess looking and then he rolls his eyes oh i'll give him something to roll his eyes at!! He gets me so mad ugggh. I go and sit on jay's lap and give him a kiss on the lips and i hear jess breath loud. ohh well he ignored me. Class ended really fast and jay asked if i still was going to the party the next day. I say yeah and he gives me a kiss bye i go to the car and wait for ty and brody..they come and we get home. my life changes Yesterday i fell asleep early because my head hurt and now today i'm going to jay's party. What am i going to wear? while im thinking this i hear a knock at the front door and people talking or should i say jess and blake and brody talking omg!! I run to the bathroom with my jean shorts and blue muscle shirt and underwear in my hands and jump in the shower i get out and curl my hair and do my makeup. I slowly walk down stairs i get the end of what jess is saying ofcourse giving the details about his fight with jay uggh he's stupid. I go back upstairs and watch t.v. for a few hours and then go to my closet at 6 pm and start looking for what im going to wear.At 8 I pick out cute blacked ripped skinny jeans a cheetah shirt that stops just above my belly button and black pumps that have a strap around my ankle curled hair and some makeup and my leather jacket and climb down the tree next to my window and run across the tracks where i meet jay who gives me a ride to the party. All i can think about is jess so i go a get drink after drink till i start feeling dizzy. Jay started kissing on me and that just reminded me of jess saying he didn't like another guy kissing me i push jay away and leave the party it's like 11 so it's dark outside and i start walking home i can see the train tracks so i start walking a little faster wanting to get home already when i make it to the tracks i fall down and twist my ankle and see my heel stuck in the track so i start pulling but the world is still spinning and now i hear someone yelling my name i turn around and see blake running towards me with the twins and jess wayyyy farther behind him i look where he's looking and see a light and hear a whislte oh shit it's a train!! it gets closer and i feel hands lift me and push me hard and my strap rips i fall and turn to see the train right in fornt of me where blake was and blood all on me."NO!!!" I screamed but it was drowned out by the whistle of the train and a screeching sound! I look down and see all the blood and the train passes and i see ty finally make it and brody and jess closley behind him. BLAKES DEAD Ty reaches me first with tears in his eyes with his hands on me trying to see if i was hurt i just hear myself crying so hard. brody comes and slides down next to me and tells jess to call 911 He grabs me up in his arms and says "are you hurt...where are you hurt!!!!!!!" all i can say is "blake!!!NO!!!NO, NO, NO ,NO!!" Ty and brody are crying to and brody is holding me tight. soon I hear sirens and see flashing lights....before i know what happened we are at home Publication Date: June 1st 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-vlb7de42e9c6a15

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-chalen-d-rampage-dani-039-s-view/

Chalen D. Rampage Dani's view these books mean everything to me cause i was able to wright them with my little sisters. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. "hey mom." i said going into the kitchen. "hey honey." she said. it was so easy how i could fool her. "rylie's coming over to spend the night is that okay?" i asked. "yeah, tell your dad to through another steak on the grill." she said. i looked out the french doors and saw him fliping a pice of meat. god. "dad, through on another one." i called. "sure thing love." he called. "ew." i said. "what?" my mom asked. "nothing." i said. she looked at me like i was weird. i kissed her cheek and went to the front yard to wait for rylie. "rylie!" i yelled, as her limo pulled up. "Dani!" she yelled, jumping out of the car runing to me. we hugged. I let the butler pass before i spoke. "ready for a party?" i asked. "again?" she asked. rylie was the type of girl that was quite. she never stuck up for herself, and to be honest it pissed me the hell off. joey, her little sister, though is just like me. as long as we pay joey she keeps her mouth shut. i think rylie goes to the parties for me. "come on!" i said, shaking her arms. "we almost got caught last time." rylie said. "yeah well we didn't. rylie this is the time, to live it up drink it down and party till we hit the ground." i said. "i don't know." i said. "grow some balls rylie where going." i said. i turned around and walked into the house. "rylie!" my mom said. i rolled my eyes. "hi, jace." she said. she looked out at my dad and scooted closer to me. "don't worry, he wont do anything to you." i told her. my dad thinks it's cool to melest me. after we ate we said, we where going to bed. we got ready and went to the party. "damn, i'm going to get a beer. want one?" i asked. "yes. and be careful." rylie said. it always seemed like she was worried. "i'm fine." i siad. i went out to the pool area. it took me three seconds to find the bar. "hey give me two beers." i said. "bottle or can?" the bar tender asked. "bottled deffenetly." i said, fliping my blond hair over my shoulder, showing my perfect teeth. he seemed nervous as he gave me the beers. rylie said, boys fall over me all the tmie. she's right. that's one thing about rylie, she always says the truth. "thanks." i said. i went to the party, but rylie decided to not be found. "hey." someone said. i turned. whoa, hottie alert. "hey cutie." i said. "want one?" i asked. "no way, through that shit away, i got the good shit in the pool room." he said. "i don't know." i said, smiling. he smiled, and took me to the pool room. after drinking vodca and getting drunk off my ass i asked the guy what he did. "tattos." he said. "no shit." i said. he pulled out a pipe. "want some?" he asked. "fuck yeah." i said. after i was high he gave me a tatto. "i can't pay you." i said. "there's other ways of payment." he said, looking at my chest. i took off my shirt. he through me onto the pool table. "oh my god!" rylie said, covering her eyes. "hey!" i said. "are you high?" she asked. "yeah," i said. "you got high with out me?" she asked. "i'm sorry." i said, giving her a hug. "ok, get your naked ass off of me." she said. "and you get out of here." she said. the guy rolled off of the table. "damn, your girls guy has a big one." a guy said. "ew!" rylie said. i got a sack of weed from the guys pants. "get dressed." rylie said. "you get dressed!" i said. "i am dressed." rylie said, starting to get my clothes. she got me dressed and we walked out of the room. the guy held me up. "your cute." i told him. "i'm also gay." he said. XXXXXXXXXX the next morning i woke up i had no idea where i was. "where the hell am i?" i asked. "where at my dad's." rylie said. i looked over at her. "who the fuck are you?" i asked the guy sitting next to her. "i'm kyler." he said. "oh yeah, your the gay kid." i said. "you know," i said, sitting up. "if you ever want to be turned strait you know where i am." i said. "yeah." he said, nodding. "and what the hell are we doing at your dads?" i asked. i layed on her lap. "i couldn't bring you back to your house you where to drunk."she said. "and you have a tatto." she said. "damn." i said, cloesing my eyes. "it says live it up drink it down and party till you hit the ground." kyler said. "ugh!" i said. i jumped up. "i gotta pee." i said. after i peed we went to rylies house. "ooh, someones toking it up." i said. rylie walked up the stairs. "Joey what the hell are you doing!?" rylie yelled. we ran up the stairs. " uh, experimenting." joey said. "with weed?" she screamed. "and sexual intercoruse." a kid said. "ah, the lies." joey said."wait who the fuck are you?" rylie asked. "oh this is blake." joey said. i came to the door and looked in. "what's going on?" i asked. i looked down and saw a rianbow pipe in joeys hand. "where the hell did you get that pipe?" rylie asked. "that's a dope ass pipe." i said, reaching for it. "dani, what the fuck are you doing, your not suposed to say that. oh thats a pretty dope pipe, lets go toke it up homie." rylie said. i looked at rylie. "can we?" i asked. rylie looked at me and then to joey and blake. she looked out to the drive way, then pushed me, and kyler in the room. " let's smoke this shit man." she said. i took joeys lighter and smoked some. "alright now kiddies, if a stranger ever offers you drugs, you best be taking that shit. drugs are expensive these days." i said. after that i got droped off. i took a shower and changed into a large shirt and shorts. sometimes i wish i had a sister, or brother that way i could have someone to keep me busy, but then if i had a sister dad might touch her. " hey." my dad said, coming to the door. i stiffened. "where's mom?" i asked. "down stairs." he said. he came to me putting his hands on my shoulders. he wispered into my ear. "she leave's to her friends house for a book club. your all mine tonight." he said. he kissed me. i didn't do anything as he shoved his toungue into my mouth. he pulled back. "when i come for you tonight i expect you to go along with what i do." he said. he went down to the living room. and i ran to the bathroom and threw up. "hey mom, can i go with you, to your book club?" i asked. "course." she said. we went to the drug store to get soda, and i picked up a pregnacy test. once i got home i took the test. i sat on the floor and leaned against the tub. i looked down at the test. i saw the pink little plus sign and cryed. i called rylie. "it is 4 in the morning." rylie said. "rylie." i said. "dani are you okay?" she asked. "i need your help." i said. "i'm on my way." she said. five minuets later she came into my bathroom. i sat with my legs to my chest and the test at my feet. "dani, what." she said, looking down. "oh god." she said. she picked up the test and sat on the toilet. she cover her mouth with her hand and looked at it. her eyes filled with tears. "i can't have it." i said, still crying. now she was in full blown trears. "you have to, dani don't do this please." she said. "i have to. what if i have a girl my dad's going to rape her, and if i have a boy he could rape him too." i said. "i can't bring a baby into this house." i said. "i don't want to kill my baby." i said. now i was in full blown tears. rylie put the test on the counter and sat with me. "my dad is abusive, when he finds out he'll kill it by hiting me i'd rather deal with it now before it grows." i said. "i am so sorry that you can't have a chance." i said. "here." rylie said. she pulled out a plastic bag, and gave it to me. "that's a morning after pill, take it and see if it works if not, then i'll take you to the clinic." she said. i hugged her. "rylie, you are so strong, don't let anyone tell you differently." i said. she got up and gave me a cup of water. i took the pill. we both sat on the floor against the bath tub. rylie grabed my hand. "i love you." she said. "i love you." i said. she spent the night with me that night. "ready?" she asked. "you check." i told her. it was the next morning and we were taking another test. she picked it up. "it worked." she said. scilent tears fell down my face. rylie held me. i said goodbye to her and ate food. "are you okay?" my mom asked. "i'm fine." i said. she sat at the table and held my hand. "i know when your upset." she said. "i'm fine." i said. i grabed my bolw of food and went to my room. as if i hadn't already been through enough my dad came in that night and raped me. "rylie." i said, when she answered. "what now." she said. "i need more tests." i said. "dani again?" rylie asked, sounding dissapointed. "just get the test's and i'll explian it." i said. "give me ten minuets." she said, haning up the phone. "so who's the possible dad?" she asked. "my dad." i said. "so that would be like your kid/sibling." she said. "whatever, rylie." i said pulling up my pants. "i brang another pill too." rylie said, pulling out the bag. "stop pacing." i said. " i can't help it." she said. she picked up the test, and screamed. she showed me the test. i screamed and we hugged jumping up and down. "girls?" my mom asked. rylie through the test and pill in the toielt, i slamaed the led shut. "what happened?" my mom asked coming in. "spider." i said. she saw the box on the sink. she looked at me then rylie and then at the box. "what's going on?' she asked. "nothing." i said. "something is going on." she said. "mom, just forget it." i said. "no, there is a pregnacy test on the counter of your bathroom." she said. "i'm going home." rylie said. "don't leave me." i said. "goodnight rylie." my mom said. rylie hugged me and left. my mom stood arms crossed at the door jam. i sat on the toilet. the door opened and shut. "i thought i tought you better then this." she said. " you did." i said. "then why," she couldn't finish the sentence, my dad came in. "what's." he saw the box. "what's that?" he asked. "let me handle this." my mom said. "dani get into the car." she said. i got off of the toilet, and grabed my ajket. we drove to the park and she pulled into a parking space. "who's test is it?" she asked. "mine. rylie isn't like that." i said. "are you." she said. "no." i said. "why would you not use pertection?" she asked. i was quiet. "mom?" i asked. "yes?" she asked. "is dad my real dad?" i asked. she sat there not saying anything. was she really that shocked i'd ask that? i mean how hars is it to say yes. "no," she said. HUH? i looked at her. "how well do you know him?" i asked. "i don't. it was an aranged maraige." she said. "after you where born, my parents told me that, they where having a hard time to pay the bills. My dad's friend from college agreed to pay our way through life, only if i was given to their son." she said. "so you don't know if he is capable of rape?" i asked. "i don't" she said. if it was one thing about my mom she caught on fast. "oh honey!" she said. she pulled me to her. "how long did this happen for?" she asked. "when i was younger he used to just mess around with me. he said, that if i ever told people wouldn't beleive me cause he's such a well liked person." i said. "i would of beleived you dani." she said. "i know. it just seemed wierd telling you so i only told rylie." i said. "well, this will not go undelt with." she said. "baile is throughing a party. can i go. i'll be with rylie." i said. "i don't know." she said. "it will be fine, joey's going to be there." i lied. "okay." my mom said. we drove home and acted like everything was normal. the next day i got dressed. "hey." i said, as i got into the car. "hey girl." she said. the drive to ohio isn't very long when she's driving. once we got to her house, the party planing was out of control. "oh for crying out loud!" bailey yelled. "tyler can you go pick up rylie, with dani?" she asked. "sure." he said. i showed tyler where she lived. i walked half way up the walk, when rylie came running out ewaving. we ran back to the truck. "is joey, going to be okay?" i asked. "yeah." i said. "thanks, dude." i said, once at the party. i grabed rylie's hand and went inside. "your dani right?" a guy asked. "yeah." i said. "there's a game of beer pong about to start wann join?" he asked. "you ok?" i asked, rylie. "yeah, i'll go mingle." she said. "cool." i said. i followed the guy into the kitchen. "yo, this is dani." the guy said. everyone nodded, and the game began. after the game i tryed to find rylie but couldn't. i went up stiars into a family room. i sat on a caouch and layed down. "the party not your scence?" a kid asked. i looked over. "i love to party," i told him. "he had green eyes, and black hair. he sat on the couch infront of mine. "i'm robby." he said. "dani." i said. "oh so your dani the trouble maker." he said. "i'm not a trouble maker." i said. "i mean sure i like to have fun, but who doesn't?" i said my phone buzzed. i read the text from rylie. 'would you be fine here if i left with tyler fro a while?' i wrote back. "yeah, sure girl have fun, but be careful. xoxo DH. "so where do you live?' i asked. robby looked at me like i was blind. "i live right next door to you." he said. "no way." i said. "yeah, your always with that one girl with blonde hair." he said. "oh, right. rylie." i said. "yeah her." he said. "yeah, she's cool." i said. "so, what do you do for fun?" he asked. "want to go to the kitchen, and make some screwdrivers?" i asked. "what?" he asked. "come on." i said. i grabed his hand and pulled him to the kitchen. i grabed an unopened bottle of vodca. "get the orange juice." i said. "no way i can't just jack his oarange juice." he said. "well i can." i said, grabing a bran new orange jucie container. "get some cups." i said. he grabed two cups and we ran up stairs. after two screwdrivers, each we where having a blast. "oh hell no who jacked my oarange juice?" someone yelled.we laughed our asses off. once we mellowed out i got into the car with robby, cause i have to get back to hollywood. "thanks for the ride." i said. "dani, let me ask you something," he said, coming to my side. "shoot." i said. "why are you talking to me, i mean you never noticed me, before." he said. "well you where at a party that's how i notice everyone." i said. "look, as long as i don't look out my window, and see you plastered to the window with bonoculars i'm good." i said. we laughed. i looked under the rug. "damn, the keys gone, can i spend the night at your place?" i asked. "sure come on." he said. "uh here." he said. he came into the guest bedroom. "here's some of my pjs." he said. "thanks." i said, taking them. he nodded and left. i put the clothes on, but couldn't sleep so i went to robby's room. "i can't sleep." i told him. he sat up and i sat on his bed. "yeah. me either." he said. we ended up telling each other a lot. "want to hear a secret?" he asked. i nodded. "from the first moment that you moved in next door i had a cruch on you." he said. "i know kinda lame." he said. "no robby, it's cute." i said. i leaned in and kissed him. we where finaly able to sleep. "shit." i said. i jumped out of bed. "what?" robby asked. "i have to go." i said. "want me to walk you home?" he asked. "no, things are kinda out of controll at my house." i siad. i kissed him and ran to my house. "there you are!" my mom yelled. she ran to me and hugged me. "are you ok?" she asked. "yeah, i'm fine." i said. "come on." she said. it started to rain. the sky was an angry gray, and i knew today could be no good. once i was in the kitchen she made me a cup of hot coco. "the cops came last night." she said. "what?" i asked. "i called them." she said. if i had a mouthfull of coco it would of been all over the black counter top. "what?" i asked. "i don't think he should be here." she said. "the cop will be back this after noon, to ask you some questions." she said. i finished my coco, and took a shower. i got ready and went to my window. robby was pulling a shirt over his head. he looked up and smiled, the smile that i love. i waved. he grabed a note book and worte some thing down and then showed me. 'i miss you :(' i grabed a note book and a marker. ' i know :(' 'lunch?' he wrote. i nodded and smiled. ' your important to me' i smiled. 'your so sweet.' i said. a cop car pulled up. robby looked out the window, and then worte something quickly. ' what's going on?' 'family stuff' 'i'm coming over' 'don't, i don't want you involved' 'dani! :(' 'i'll be over soon robby.' 'are you okay?' 'yeah.' i smiled and he waved. i closed my blinds and walked down stairs. a woman officer was at the door. i came down just as my mom was inviting her in. "this is officer bennet." mom said. i sat down with the officer in the kitchen. "hey dani. how you feeling?' she asked. "fine." i said. "i came here to ask if you want to press charges. you do have to keep in mind that if you do you have to tell the judge and jurry everything that happened." she said. "what happenes if i don't press chages?" i asked. "then he goes back on the streets." she said. "press charges. what ever it takes to not let him walk free." i said. "all right then, i'll send you a copy of the court date." she siad. my mom said goodbye to her and shut the door. "so what's going on?" my mom asked. "i'm pressing charges." i said. "good for you." mom said. "robby!" i siad, jumping up. "who's robby?" mom asked. i ran outside not bothering to shut the door. robby was on his porch watching the car leave. i ran up his walk, and he ran to me. "what's going on?" he asked, taking me into a hug. "can we go inside?' i asked. we got soda's and went to his room, which is when i told him everything. "is he going to jail?" he asked. "we have to go to a court date." i said. "what a pig." he said. "i feel like throwing up." he said. "i didn't mean to make youo sick." i said. he took my chin, so he could look me in the eyes. "you didn't do anything. you have to know that. that man is a monster." he said. i hugged him. " i'm sorry." he said. "i can help you find your real dad." he said. "i don't know anything about him." i said. "well lets go ask your mom." he said. "thanks for being here." i said. he smiled and kissed me. "mom this is robby." i said. she shook his hand. "he's my boyfriend." i said. "oh," she said, perking up. "can i get you guys something to drink?" she asked. "no. what's my dad's name?" i asked. "chase hendricts." she said. "thanks." i said. i took robby into the library down the hall and we got on to the computers, and searched for him. "hey look at this. it says that chace hendricts is in a band called, the heartless." robby said. i sat next to him. "see," robby said. i looked at a picture, of a band performing. chase had the same eyes as me, and they where stuning. is that how other people see me. "it says that they're having a consert at drink n' run," he siad. "when?" i asked. "now." he said. "lets go." i said. "mom, we're going out." i said. "becareful." she said. we went to the club. we got their just in time to hear a song. "alright, we're going to take a break but keep rocking." chase said. "let's go talk to him." robby said. we walked to the lounge. "i need to see chase." i told the body gaurd. "it's really important." i said. "who are you?" a guy asked, walking by. "i need to see chase hendricts, and fast." i said. the guy rolled his eyes and went into the lounge. it wasn't before chase came out. "hey how's it going?" he asked, looking at robby. he looked at me and he froze. "dani?" he asked. "dad?" i asked. a huge grin crossed his face and he pulled me into a hug. he pulled back and held me at arm's length. "look at you!" he said. the grin never left his face. "i knew you would find me." he said. he pulled me into a hug. "hey why don't we get a pizza, and i'll explain everything." he siad. i nodded. he slung a arm around me and we walked to the bar. "Aye, jones, give me a large pie, and a bottle of moutin dew." he said. we sat down at a table. "what do you want to know?" he asked. "i have waited forever till i could talk to you." he said. "start from the begining." i said. " i met your mom at a party. she was a wild one that girl." he said. he smiled in the memory. "the guy that was throughing the party was the guitarist in a band. he had your mom rapped around his finger." he said. "what happened?" robby asked leaning in. "well, your mom needed a ride home, and her boyfriend was a compleat jerk called her a bitch." he said, pausing long enough for jones, to put down the pizza and soda. "i offered to bring her home, and she said, cool. she didn't want to go home so we went to the park and walked by the lake. she told me how the dude treated her and that she was done. we became close in one night. she broke up with the guy, and got with me. after three years, she got pregnant with you. that's when her parents droped the bomb of the aranged mariage." he said. "wow." robby said. "do you love mom?" i asked. "with all my heart. still do. her parents gave her to that guy and i never was able to find you guys. i knew one day you'd find me cause, your my daughter." he said. i smiled when he said my daughter. "i want you to know i never stoped looking for you dani, i even hired an investagator." he said. "well mom's not with the guy anymore." i said. "why?" he asked. "he raped me." i said. he spit out his soda. "excuse me." he said. he got up. i heard a bang, and then he came back. "where's this guy?" he asked. "he's in jail, their working on the court date. "i'm so sorry i couldn't protect you dani." he said. "chase let's go your on now." a guy said. "that can wait, my daughters' here." he said. "dad just go." i said. "are you sure?" he asked. "yeah, we can work this out when your done." i said. "come watch." he said. i followed him. "alright this song is for an amazing girl, her name's dani and she's my everything." he said. i closed my eyes and listed to the lyrics,as he sang. ' i never gave up on finding you, i knew we would meet again. your strong like her, and smart like, me. your going to have grate things in store for you, just wait and see my darling, my dear. for a little girl you've come along way and i apologize, that i never had the chance to be there for you' after the show he called me up there. i hugged him, and the crowd went wild. "i love you dani." he said. i hugged him tighter not wanting to let go. "i love you dad." i said. after that we went to my house. "mom?" i called. "how was your night out?" she asked. "good, i have some one for you to meet." i said. she came out with a smile. she froze when she saw chase. "fame." he said. she ran to him. he pulled her into a hug and they kissed. "so what's this aoubt dani getting raped?" he asked. "i don't know waht happened, i did everything to keep her safe." she said. they went into the other room. "it's getting late, my parents will start to freak." he said. he kissed me, and left. i went to my window. robby sat down at his desk. 'i hope everything works out' 'yeah me too' 'goodnight' 'night' i went to bed, and slept with out waking up. Publication Date: April 27th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-chalen

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-chasity-gone-but-not-for-gotten/

chasity gone but not for gotten by chasity Once a pone a time there was a gir named emily she was 13 years old she really did not have that much friends she was kno for the ouitet one .She was really pretty all the boys like her but she keep to her slef .One day this gil had came up to her and siad "hi"i replyed "hi"what your name the girl "siade" I "siad" emily wat your she relpied sam oh coll name thank's umm I have to go bye bye she siad bye .then she went home . The next morning I wock up and didwhat I have to do I went to school and went home I was nad becaus I was not feeling good at all. mu mom had gave me medasin I felt better . The next day a mean girl said so u emily right I sad yea why people say u dont like me I repled who telling u this i never siad that what really I dont have a problem withu I dont know u I know u in one of my calles in eastmiddel school well can u tell that person who ever siad that I said stop sending rumer I dont do that thank bye. the next mornibg I waent to school sam came over to me and siad i need to speak to u about some thing I said okay what wrong she said I walk in to class and bebe tode me that u tode her to tell me that I need to sop makeing rumers I replyed what she tode me that some one tode her i did not like her and I tode her that not ture who ever telling u this lie tell them stop I did not say u to stop she did not say your name and neather did I did she te I siad that "yes" well I am sorry but I did not say that "okay thank "k". TO BE CONTINUE!!.............................. Editing: chasity rodriguez Publication Date: April 16th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-chasity101

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-ivan-zhyzhkevych-the-man-in-the-woods/

Ivan Zhyzhkevych The man in The Woods Depression The Man in The Woods The Man in the Woods By Ivan Zhyzhkevych He walked, and did so with no intentions to stop. In the dark cool woods the moons light reflected off his watch complementing it with a beautiful shine lighting on the man’s old worn eyes. Eyes that had seen horror, sadness, and the terrifying evil that people conceal under their plastic smiles. So fake and untruthful, He was sick of the day-by-day reality that He lived by. As He walked his breaths produced small white clouds, something that from where He lived never happened, and for once in his life He felt free. Nobody could tell him what to do, how to act, or where to be. His goal wasn’t to just suddenly leave his wife and kids, his city life and job, and it most definitely wasn't a selfish act to find out his true self. He did this to stop the constant pain and depression that He always had to deal with. Leaving everything but his watch, he walked, taking in the true beauty of life, enjoying what he didn’t have time for in over 40 years. The trees towering above him, showed their longevity, their survival. The cool air unaltered by industry was more pure than anything He had ever experienced, and it flowed very smoothly as He took in his short light breaths. The man never understood how altered society and the world had been until He saw the most pure untouched place in the world. He was finally at peace with himself, and it was in good time. The cancer, as said by his doctor, had already developed into his brain, and sadly enough he only had days left to live. While walking he didn’t cry, or panic about his coming death. The man understood that everything had its end, and everything will have its end. He was ready. Letting go of all grudges, dark secrets, sins and bad deeds, he continued to walk, enjoying everything to the fullest, for the first...and last, time. Publication Date: October 25th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-atomicstructure

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-tatiana-staton-where-i-belong/

Tatiana Staton Where I Belong Tori hates relationships...or does she? Chapter 1 “Tori on my mama I almost killed that girl just then” my best friend yells as soon as I open the door for her “well hello to you to Jade, yes I’m doing excellent today thanks for asking” I sarcastically say closing the front door and following her into the kitchen, her favorite place in anyone’s house. “She had the audacity to give Terrance her number IN FRONT OF ME” I sigh fixing us both some Sherbert ice cream, our favorite. “Like what is wrong with her? Did she not learn a lesson the last time I beat her ass for some shit like that?” She was referring our nemesis Taylor. She’s more of Jade’s nemesis than mine but whoever she doesn't like I don't like and it’s the same way with me, we’re best friends, that’s how it better be. Terrance and Jade have been together since we were all in 8th grade, we’re in the 11th now, and she’s absolutely crazy about him. Her and Taylor recently just fought when Taylor showed up to Terrance’s house not knowing Jade and I was there and all hell broke loose. It took me, Terrance, his dad, and his twin brother, and our other best friend Kylie just to get Jade off of her, and she was beat pretty bad. “I don't know J, maybe she was feeling brave today” I chuckle she just rolls her eyes eating a spoonful of ice cream. “Where were yall at?” I ask putting the ice cream up “the mall” that was like the number one hangout spot in Cali for teens. I’ve lived in California since I was 12, Jade was my first friend and best friend, then Kylie came along the year after I moved here and next thing you know, we were inseparable. We did and still do everything together even though they both have boyfriends. Now I on the other hand don't do relationships, at all, none whatsoever. I used to but I just stopped because I feel like all these niggas are the exact same, and if they’re not then they’re taken. I am a huge flirt though. “What did T say?” “Girl he tore her number up in then threw it at her” I laugh as my little sister Tia busts into the kitchen talking on her phone “yes boo that’s what I said, hey Jade, girl he had the nerve to put her all on his instagram knowing I would get mad” and she walks back out. “HeY Tia” Jade says as we both laugh, for her to be only in the 8th grade she was always yapping on that phone of hers talking about nothing. “Swear you used to be the same way” I shake my head “I was not” “Was too” she says as her phone rings. “Oh its my baby, hey baby” she says into the phone with a big smile I just roll my eyes walking into the living room. “He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he--” “Loves me, we get it” I say taking the leafless rose from Kylie making her frown “hey I wanted to say that” “You know little Ms. Downer had to do it for ya” Jade says from my other side winking at me I just stick my tongue out at her. We were heading inside the school to our lockers, which was also our meet up spot. “Anyways I’m not sure if I’ll be able to meet yall after school, track practice” I say opening my locker “not going to cheer practice?” I shrug taking out my books for 1st and 2nd period. “Well coach is gonna be all on your--baby!” Kylie starts with a huge smile as she sees her boyfriend Luke walking towards us. With him is Terrance, his twin brother Tarik, and some other very sexy fella I’d never seen before, he made me get butterflies so I looked away. “Hey ladies” Tarik says as Kylie and Jade gets all booed up “wassup Rik, who’s the new boy?” I Couldn't help but ask, especially since he kept staring at me “Kaleb, and you are?” He asks his deep baritone voice sending shivers down my spine “Tori” he takes my hand kissing it “ooohhh” my friends all voice making me blush. Kaleb’s a very sexy, brown skin, with a deep voice, hazel eyes, and muscles that poked out from under his shirt and the most perfect white teeth. “Yall Kaleb just moved here from Ohio, he’s living with us for the school year” “Living with yall?” I slowly ease a little closer to Kaleb trying not to be noticeable, mmm he smelled just as delicious as he looked. “Yeah, he’s our cousin” “No friggin way” Kylie says staring at Kaleb “yes way” I giggle making everyone look at me “what?” “Anyways, you’re just going to be down here this school year?” Jade asks licking Terrance’s neck he nods “yes ma’am, I’m a senior this year” “Damn” I mumble thinking no one heard me. “But I’m thinking about going to college down here” he adds looking down at me making me smile, then the bell decides to ring, ruining our moment. “I’ll show you to your 1st period man” Tarik says to Kaleb “no, I can” I volunteer shocking everyone including myself “you sure?” He asks with a smirk that gave me butterflies once again “positive” “Okay cool, well we’ll catch you two at lunch” and we all split up. “Here, let me” Kaleb replies taking my books for me “oh thanks” “No problem” sexy and a gentleman, my kind of guy. “So, your schedule” “Oh, right” he digs in his pocket and hands the paper to me I open it getting happier as I went down the paper. “Well we have 2 classes together, lunch too” “Good, more time I get to see your beautiful self” I giggle and blush again, what was this guy doing to me?   "Please get away from me with this bogus" I say walking away from my little sister "just admit it, you like him" I roll my eyes going into the lving room "but I dont." We were talking about Kaleb, he had came over so we could work on a project and my little sister is convinced I'm crushing on him. Publication Date: July 23rd 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-fo9183ab2b2ee45

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-ashley-baker-ever-lasting-love-part-2/

Ashley Baker Ever Lasting Love Part 2 Everythings not so perfect.. Text: Images are not mine, all writing is 100% original All rights reserved. Publication Date: June 26th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-bakerwoman1996

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-adrian-brooks-jumping-at-shadows/

Adrian brooks Jumping at Shadows Publication Date: September 29th 2009 https://www.bookrix.com/-pixel2

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-cionne-nodd-dear-alice/

Cionne Nodd Dear Alice Preface Dear Alice, I longed to think of it as a blessing. A reason. A way. But sometimes it would trail my thoughts and I would get mad and angry. But I couldn't get mad at myself for something I didn't do...or could I? But then I click back to thinking it was a blessing. A reason. A way. I was like a switch. Clicking on and off as if it was my life and purpose. Alice you've given me a purpose to live now you've given me a purpose to die. Make up your mind, am I on Earth to think of you or am I on Earth to forget you? I die, I will see you but I will live with the regret of leaving my family with open hands for something they will never have. -Love, Amy I closed my eyes as I closed the half-filled book. I put my face in my hands and cried. I stood in that position for at least 30 minutes but then it was interuppted by a warm hand on my shoulder. I looked up quickly to see him, my night in shining armor. "Amy, dont cry, it's the right thing to do." I put my head down on my desk and mumbled words that filled my sorrowful soul, "Nick, I'm sorry I can't do it anymore it hurts too much to even think of her. And writing to her is even worse." He kneeled down to my level and put his hand to my chin, "Ames, it'll be alright now we have to go, pack up your stuff and meet me in the car." And he left me alone with only his footsteps echoing in my ears. I lifted myself from the chair and trailed to my closet. I thought to myself as I put the clothes at random in my bag,If he only knew my latest entry he would be devistated. I closed my eyes as I hurled to bag to my back and walked out the room. I didn't know I left the journal until I reached the destination. "Nick! HAVE YOU SEEN THE JOURNAL???" I yelled as I hurled clothes at random around to room. Nick came in looking at the mess I made, "No, just a weekend without would be okay, so just go to bed." I climbed into bed as a sudden light went off and Nick climbed in, too. "Night," he said turning to his side. "Night," I said as I turned the other direction. I awoke in a cold sweat. I looked around to see me in my camp bunk alone. I climbed out of the bunk and climbed to the top bunk where Alice, my bestfriend, slept. I shook her instantly, "Ally, wake up!" I whispered in a hush tone. She turned around and lifted herself up, rubbing her eyes to adjust to the light, "Huh?" once her eyes adjusted she saw me shaking her, "Amy what the heck is wrong with you?!" she yelled in a hush tone. I held her close in my arms, "GET OFF!" she yelled trying to shake me off. I let go and layed down next to her. She layed down too and gave me some blanket. I turned to face her, "Alice I had a dream," I said as started to sit up again. She sat up too, "What about?" she asked lifting to blanket to her chin. I closed my eyes trying to make a vision of it again, "Well, I don't exactly know what happened to you but I was sad to think of you at anytime and there was this handsome man. He had thick curly hair that was black." Alice looked at me in shock, "Amy you can sleep up here tonight. But when we get back to the orphanage we have to tell Mrs. Bragwoods, she believes, dreams can tel the future you know?" I nodded and layed down. I hoped with all my heart this wasn't my future. I closed my eyes tight and drifted back to sleep. Publication Date: August 6th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-kiddioxxi

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-shaelyn-ray-life-as-i-remember-it/

Shaelyn Ray Life as I remember it Life as I remember it I was walking home from a friends' house.I knew it was past Midnight,and I was feeling like I was being watched.I turned around and nobody was there.I started walking faster before I felt some hands around my waist and dragging me."Hey!!help me I'm needing help please!!"I screamed.I screamed and kicked 'till I finally could get my head turned around.It was Mr.Rogers,my next door neighbor who was always working with wood and metal.He smiled at me as he carried me South the opposite way of my house.I was took into an alley where a hole had been dug.He threw me into the hole and started burying me alive!He ran away as soon as his duties' were done,and I tried clawing my way out but the ground was frozen and I could barely move in this small space."AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"I screamed hoping someone would hear......but this alley was abandoned.This alleys' name was Abandoned Alley...now I know why.The alley I was in wasn't attached to any stores,porta potties,fire or police stations,houses,malls,sidewalks,or more importantly any streets."AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!HELP ME PLEASE I NEED HELPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!"I screamed and suddenly my breathing got shorter and quieter.I gasped for breath and energy to scream some more but soon my eyes' fluttered shut and my thoughts' quit spinning in my head.I was dead.I was in my heaven where I met Sally Rodriguez who was murdered the same night as I was....by the same guy."I'm Kelley Brauns.I was murdered in a hole...in an alley....suffocated by the dirt and lack of air."I told her.And I forgot to tell you one important thing....he strangled me before I quit breathing."I'm Kalli pronounced (Cal-e) I was buried in a cemetery.....but not properly.I was walking this evening and he found me but he dragged me to a cemetery,stabbed me three times:in the head,heart,and leg,and buried me right on another grave."she explained,and I kinda felt bad for her."I wasn't stabbed just strangled and buried.I kinda deserved it since I did kinda T.P his house one Halloween but that's not why he did it."I said sure of my reply.She pulled up her pants' leg and showed me a fresh bloody scab from a huge knife."Huuuuuu!"I gasped and started walking backwards."I can't be dead!!!I can't please tell me this is a dream!"I demanded.She looked worried."Kelly,I'm sorry but I wish it was a dream but it is not....I was taken' from my family too!and I'm only eight you are fifteen!you lived longer than me so quit complaining!!!!"she screamed.I was sad but also kinda mad that she screamed at me."I'm sorry you were murdered.I'll tell you my secrets'?"I offered."OK!"she said excited running to be picked up by me.I picked her up and sat down with her on my lap."I ran away from home once and got caught by the police."I told her.She made wide eyes and stood up.She started running and dug up a book that was old."This is a old book my momma read me...I had it when I was murdered."she held it up and told me to read it to her."Once upon a time an old woman lived alone with Jera her Indian granddaughter."I read to her 'till she fell asleep.That's all I can remember about my life....I miss that happy life of mine.Have a long happy life! Publication Date: December 28th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-jasperismine

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-rosalinda-perez-the-girls/

Rosalinda Perez The Girls Blah, Blah, Blah is all I hear! The First Day of School Well I was living a little something called childhood! When suddenly my mom said school I asked my mom "What is this school you speak of?". Later on I found out it was a place you go to study. I imagined it as a place were there would be letters all over and well geeks every where you looked. Yeah I know I watch alot of movies and listen to my brothers alot. Well that year of pre-kinder went pretty good. I completely loved school during kinder,too. Then there were some kind of changes that occured and I was moved from the best school ever and changed to a not so great new school,(when I said new I mean new that's why I was moved there because there were no students there). Well I thought it wouldnt be bad moving in to a new school. I mean how bad can it be. Well I entered my brand new class for the year. OMG I realized many of my old friends were there. I felt so relieved when I saw them all sitting there, and I could tell they were pretty excited too!Althought I knew most of the people i still felt shy because after all it still was a new class and school to me. I sat at the table where my old friends were sitting and joined the fun! Text: This book does not contain any pictures, sorry! All rights reserved. Publication Date: January 23rd 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-rosalinda.perez

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-milli-may-skys-my-one-day-notice/

Milli-may skys My One Day Notice One Tammy's p.o.v.- I slipped on my flats and grabbed my black leather jacket.I looked at myself in the mirror one more time before heading to the block.I walked to the door."Tamera?Where are you going?"My mother asked. "I let out a irritated sigh.Im going to meet up with the girls."I said. "And where might that be?"She asked her arms crossed. Last weekend I was brought home by the cops.I didnt do anything wrong.We were just having fun at a party at my girl's house.Some neighbor of hers' called the cops.Those bitches."Ma im gunna be late...."I groaned. "I dont care.Just promise me you won't get into trouble."She said. "I promise...Now can i go?"I asked. She nodded. "Thanks."I said and ran out the door. I closed the door to my friend Hidi's car."Finally."Hidi said turning on her car. "Sorry.Hey girls."I said waving behind me to my other friends Jeslyn and Amber. Hidi took off. So are we picking Marissa up?I asked. Nah she says shes got to help her mom unpack.Hidi said shaking her head. Damn still?I asked. "Yeah I know...She's been home for 3 weeks and she still hasnt unpacked everything."Hidi said rolling her eyes. "Hey you guys...Has anyone else noticed that Marissa is blowing us all off for the last few days?"Amber asked. Hidis eyes got wide."Amber's right!Thats it we're going over there!"Hidi said hitting her stirring wheel. "You guys what if she's not lieing?"I asked."Lets just go to the block."I said. Well whatever...Hidi said.   Marissa p.o.v.- I turned my phone off after I texted my friend Hidi.I lay on my bed wondering what I was going to say to Melissa when she got back from her vacation.I didnt want to be her side kick in bullying people.That's not who I am.I should have never got invovled with her and made that group.I never wanted those girls to be mine and Melissa's puppets.Ive known Melissa and her family for 15 years.Our parents introduced us when we were one.So I kinda didnt have a choice to not be her friend.I dont know how im going to tell her im done or how she will take it.Melissa isn't the kind of person to just let things go.Ive been practicing all summer how I will tell her.I have two weeks left to make my final descion.I decided to tell her the day she gets back.Her first visit will be here I assume so what better time to tell her. "Still blowing them off?"My mother asked. "It's not like that...I just have things to do."I said walking to my bathroom. "Mami you can keep blowing them off.Their your best friends."She said standing in the doorway. "You dont understand mom."I sighed putting on mascarra. "Well I would if you would open up to me once in your life."She said. "Mom did you just come in here to fight with me or is there a reason?"I asked. "I was just walking by and saw you looked kinda down."She said. "Well I'm not but thanks for caring."I said. She sighed and left my room.I heard the door bell ring."I'll get it!"I called and ran down the stairs. I opened the door and to my surprise it was Melissa.She had a big smile on her face."Well are you just going to stand there or give me a hug?"She asked. I gave her a hug."Omg like when did you get here?"I asked"I thought you weren't gunna be here until after the first week of school."I said closing the door. "Yeah that was the orignal plan but I missed you so much I came early."She smiled. "Yay..."I smiled fakely. "Yeah so where's the girls.I got them presents."She asked looking around. "Oh they're all at the block."I said sitting on the couch. "And why arent you there?"She asked. "Because I wasn't aware I had to be."I said. "Marissa when I say look after the girls, I mean be the leader."She snapped. "Well I'm sorry Melissa.I'm just not as good at it as you."I said. She grinned."No I'm sorry darling.I shouldn't have pushed it all on you in just a short notice.Its very hard.Sorry."She said giving me a hug. "So I've been wanting to talk to you about something for awhile."I said letting out some air. "Can it wait.I'd really like to show you your gift."She smiled. I nodded.Omg I was about to tell her.Just a few more minutes and ill tell her.She reached in her black and pink prada bag.She looked for a few minutes and then pulled out a little pink box with a white bow on the top. "Here you go."She said handing it to me. "You really didnt have to."I smiled. "No you've been such a good friend to me all these years.I couldnt imagine life without you."She smiled. I took off the lid and took off all the dark pink tissue paper off the object.It was a picture frame of me and Melissa when we were little kids. "Do you like it?"She asked. I nodded as tears came into my eyes. "Oh don't cry."She laughed handing me tissue. "Its beautiful."I said. "Best friends before we could talk."She smiled. "Yeah..."I said. Okay this is going to be a lot harder then I'd expected... pictures Melissa- pics Marissa- pics Hidi- pics Jeslyn- pics Amber- pics Tamera- Two- Hidi's p.o.v.- "So I got this new bag from the mall yesterday and I don't think I like it all that much anymore."Jeslyn said showing us her bag. "Then just give it to Amber."I said rocking to the beat of the radios. "Well I dont know about that."She fake smiled. "Jes you just said you hate it.Give it to Amber now."I glared. "Oh she really doesn't have to if she doesn't want to."Amber sighed. "Amber shut up."I said and snatched the bag from Jesylns' hand.I handed it to Amber and smiled as Jeslyns' face fell. "You won't miss it.Trust me it will be almost like you never had it."I smiled. "Thanks Jes."Amber said. Jeslyn nodded. "Hidi!!"Some guy called. "That's me."I nodded and walked away. Hey.I hugged Isaiah,a boy from the popular guys group. Damn girl...He bit his lip. What?I asked flirtly. You get hotter and hotter everytime i see you.He said looking me up and down. Your crazy.I laughed. Maybe but does a date with me to the movies tomorrow night sound crazy?He asked. Yes.I blushed. Great.He said. So...I said. I really want to kiss you right now.He said moving a piece of hair out of my face. Well I dont mind.I blushed. He looked past me and grinned. Is that Melissa?!?!He asked and took off running. I turned and he was right.There she was looking prettier then ever. No fucking way.I smiled and walked toward her. Isaiah gave her a bear hug. Melissa!!Hey!!I said. Just the person I wanted to see.She smiled giving me a hug. Publication Date: December 9th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-aj362face961925

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-rebben-chance/

rebben CHANCE I lay on the floor, eyes closed, ears straining to hear everything she does. Always listening, always ready to get up and follow her when the time came. A slight squeak of the couch springs caught my attention and I opened my eyes to check if she had moved. Relief flooded my senses when I saw her exactly where I had left her. Her legs now stretched forward instead of tucked up into her stomach. As I let out a deep sigh, I rolled onto my side, stretching my legs closer to hers. As soon as I began to relax there was a shuffle of motion, and she jumped off the couch. I flipped myself upright and stood at attention. I would follow, follow and try to help. My heart beat firmly within my chest. Step after step I kept at her heels, hoping, praying that she would not head towards the bathroom. When she turned towards the familiar hall and her feet traced the depressed places, I knew my prayers were unanswered. All I could do now was be there for her, support her through her choices. Her hands shook as she clutched the door handle. She paused, but did not push the door open. She looked over to me. Sadness filled her eyes. I tried to smile, to show her she was loved. But it was not enough. As she pushed open the door she blocked me with her foot from entering. Now I couldn’t be next to her if she hurt herself— if she made herself bleed. I lay back down and pressed my nose to the door. Hoping she could hear in the way I accentuated my breath that I was worried— sad. I prayed once more. “God, please help her.” A bright-shining ball floated towards me, and I turned from staring at the door and watched as it flutter about my head. I heard noises; I heard the ball talking. “If you could have one ability what would it be?” the ball asked. “I would wish she could hear my voice,” I thought. “Let it be as you ask. For one day she will hear you.” The ball floated away and as it left the door opened and I saw her. Razor in hand, blood dripping down her arm. She looked up and saw me too. I went to her and sat at her feet. Hoping the ball was right, I took a chance and I spoke. “You saved me when I was discarded. You loved me when others did not want me. When I look at you I see the most kind, most beautiful girl in the whole world. When you think you don’t matter remember that you matter to me.” Her eyes brimmed with tears and she dropped the razor into the sink. Her legs collapsed and she fell to the floor, grabbing me and shoving her face into the scruff on my neck. “Chance? Am I actually hearing you talk?” “Yes master.” I wagged my tail and licked her face. I could taste the saltiness of her tears. She clutched onto my ears rubbing them just how I liked it. I couldn’t help shaking my leg. It made her laugh which brought me great joy. The humans say dog is a man’s best friend. That dog would save the world for man. I did not save the world tonight, but I did save her world . Publication Date: October 4th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-rebben

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-saylor-slone-loggains-they-were-cruel/

Saylor Slone Loggains They Were Cruel. What Happened. She didn't want to move, they made her. Every night she would lay in bed questioning herself as if that day had been her fault. Nicole knew it wasn't her fault, or at least that's what they kept telling her over and over again. But why, why would God do something like that to her. She was a good kid, she was smart, and nice to everyone. It just didn't seem possible for this to be happening to her. She hated to think back to that day, it hurt. It felt like a thousand knifes stabbing into her back. She knew she would have to face it though. She has to grow up and she knows it...... It was a normal morning just like any other. She woke up to her squealing alarm clock that had always been on her nightstand every since she was a little girl. She pulled on a old pair of sweats and a t-shirt. She pulled her long blonde hair into a pony tail and was ready to leave. Nicole got up this morning extra early, today was the day to try out for cheer-leading. As she was heading to the door she kissed her mom goodbye and grabbed her bag and tennis shoes by the door. Lily was already outside in her car, waiting for her. Lily was Nicole's best friend. They had been best friends every since kindergarten, when Lily and Nicole were partners in a group activity. "Guess what? Will told me that he totally wanted to date you!" Exclaimed, Lily. Nicole has liked Will every since the 3rd grade. They have both grown up together and now they were both in the 10th grade. "Wow, Really?" Nicole, said. "Yes! I gave him your number!!" said Lily. "Thank you!!" ... "No problem." The girls pull up to the school and hop out. "Lets go to the gym to tryout, Nicole!" The girls walk over to the gym, there is a lot of girls in there. The sight of that gives Nicole goosebumps she doesn't really like the whole cheerleader idea, Lily was the one who thought it would be good for them. Nicole thinks back to walking in the gym, everybody was staring at her. She hated it. She remembered going in front of the judges and dancing, and she also remembered walking out and seeing her name on the list. It felt good to be involved in something. The rest of the day was normal she went to all of her classes just like normal, ate lunch with Lily just like normal and after school got on the bus just like normal. But something wasn't normal... when the bus pulled up to Nicole's house there was a black truck in the driveway. Nicole got up and headed to up to the porch steps, she slowly opened the door. Nicole walked in the living room, the lamp, and the T.V were on. Nicole figured her mom had, had some car troubles and probably have her boyfriend drive her home from work. She walked back to her bedroom, put her backpack and layed down on her bed. She was tired it had been a long day, before she knew it she was asleep... just until she heard a loud bang, she got up slowly. She looked around her bed to see if she had dropped anything off her bed. She didn't see anything so she figured her mom dropped something. Nicole layed her head back on her pillow, and that is when she heard the gunshot but not just one 3. She shot up and ran back to her moms bedroom, where she saw her mom laying in the bathtub hit in the head with something and shot 3 times in the chest. Nicole screamed but nothing came out. She turned around then saw him, it was.. her dad. She hadn't seen him since she was 10 years old. He reached out to grab her shirt, he was to late she grabbed her moms cell phone and ran, she ran out the door down the driveway and ran til she was sure he was no longer following her. Nicole went to one of her neighbors houses and told them what had happened. She sat inside there and called the police. In about 10 minutes 4 police cars pulled up into the neighbors house. Nicole walked outside, the police bombarded her asking her millions of questions.... Her head was burning and she felt like she was about to die. Nicole fainted, right there on the sidewalk. When she woke up she was laying in a bed, in a big room. "Were am I?" Nicole screamed! "Were am I?!?!" She repeated. Publication Date: January 12th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-saylorslone11

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-taylor-michael-hannah/

Taylor Michael Hannah.... Understanding Love or lie? Was it just a game to see how long you could play with my heart until It finally breaks? Well, good luck! I've built my walls so high, it'll be awhile till anyone can knock them down again. My heart can't possibly break anymore since you destroyed it the first time. Yes, I may not be over you, but I'm starting to push you away more and more each day. Even if it's one of the hardest things I have ever done. I can't get you out of my head, constantly, I'm constantly thinking about you, what you're doing, how you feeling, and if everything okay. I don't know why, but your always on my mind. Even if I dont want to be. I want you to be happy with someone you want to be happy with. I don't want you to go through misery so that I can be happy with someone I don't deserve. So be happy with whoever you want, I dot matter anymore. Chose who will treat you the best, and don't let anyone break your heart. Don't make the same mistakes I have. But your also not as low as I am, so you probably won't. Well I'm just trying to say pick the best for you. I need to move on and so do you! So I think us seeing different people is best for now. All I hope is that I am over you before I move to Florida, because if not, I'll be miserable trying to get over you while I'm moving. But moving on is just weird. I have no clue how it is, but it just is. I guess I dont want to accept the fact that 'we're' over. Think it would be awkward for us I we didn't both move on. But I would be better if I got I got over you now. Heh, I also think we shouldn't see eachother outside of school either. Nonuntil we both have moved on. Only because when we have time alone together we do things straight friends wouldn't. But were not straight. Then the rest of the week I'm occupied by thinking about what we done. I think about if it was worth it.... Or if it was another one of my mistakes. I want you too badly. But I'm afraid that if I get you again I'll ruin it or well become less of friends. Publication Date: November 1st 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-taylor.teddy

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-veromaria-the-poem-that-stayed-in-our-hearts-forever/

VeroMaria The Poem That Stayed In Our Hearts Forever Friandships don't last forever but the words of a poem always do last forever Chapter 1: When We Were Little "Hey!" Screamed Lucy as she ran to me angrily. Lucy is my best friend/sister. Lucy is 6 and I am 7. "What!" I backed up a little form her. "I wuv you big sister" She said as she threw her self on me. "Really? Why did you have to make a big scene everyone stared at us" I said with a wierd expression on my face. "Because I like to be dramatic" "Whatever" Sorry I think I forgot to introduce myself my name is Veronica and I am like an older sister to lucy. Then the teacher called us all together and we went to recess. It's been so long I still can remember this wow. Anyways while we were at recess me and Lucy made a promise. "I promise that I will be your friend forever" she said as she held my hand close to her heart. "Me too I promise to be by your side when your sad and all that other teenage stuff" I said smiling. Then we laughed and gave each other a hug. Then we also promised to NEVER let any secret or any break ups come between us. Then we mdid our handshake and sang out a poem we read that made us sing to it. "Laugh your heart out...Dance in the rain...Cherish the moments...And ignore the pain live,love,learn forgive and forget...cuz life is too short to live with regrets" Then years go by. I was sleeping so peacefully haveing and amazing dream Publication Date: December 3rd 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-veromaria

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-jolynna-jean-pierre-no-cards-pulled/

jolynna jean-pierre No cards pulled To you... BookRix GmbH & Co. KG 81371 Munich Table of contents Chapter 1 - Life at school Chapter 2- The Fire Chapter 3 - My graduation Chapter 4 - The funeral Chapter 5 — State of Georgia vs. Cynthia Ballome (part 1) Chapter 6 - State of Georgia vs. Cynthia Ballome (part 2) Chapter 7 — Baby Johnathan Chapter 1 - Life at school *eyes pops open* *eyes rotates toward the clock* *clock says 6:33 a.m.* "urrrggghh" I slowly slide out of my bed, and heads for the bathroom. My little brother, joey, was sleeping right next to me. *walks inside the bathroom* *turns on the water* As I lean forward on the sink, I watched the steam turn into fog. The warm fog slowly covered the mirror, and my face. *knock knock* The knocking at the door distracted me. *heads to the door* *cracks the door open* I was so sleepy that all I saw was little baby bears. "You ready to take your bath, joey?", I mumbled while opening up the door. Joey walked inside. Joey reached out for me to carry him, but instead, I just took his pjs off of him. *joey begins to cry* I carry him into the bath tub. I quickly took him a bath. I carried him back into the room, and quickly got his clothes out of the closet. I quickly dried him off with his towel, and helped him put his clothes and shoes on. By the time i put my clothes on, and grabbed our book bags, the time was already 6:55 a.m. I quickly made joey some cereal. When he finished his cereal, I grabbed the keys. I quickly grabed joey's hand, and headed out. *exits the apartment* *locks the door* *heads downstairs* Joey and I began to walk to school. *holds joey's hand tightly* (15 minutes later) *opens classroom's door* *walks inside classroom* "Alright, joey I want you to be a good boy today, ok, i will pick you up afterschool" "Choco...please dont go" *joey starts to pout* *looks at joey* "Hold on" *joey nods* I pulled out my phone out, and called mr.lawerence, my homeroom teacher. "hello?" "Hi, mr.lawerence, it's me, chocolate" "Hi chocolate,what may I do for you?" "I was wondering if I could bring my brother to school with me today" "humph...i don't know, chocolate" "How about around lunch time?" "You have to be back before advisory" "Okay" "Okay, bye" "Bye" *hangs up the phone* *walks towards to joey's teacher* "Okay, my teacher said that around 12 p.m., I can pick up joey" "Okay, I will have his homework prepared for you to pick up" "Okay" *turns towards joey* "I'm going to pick you up early, ok" "Ok" *kisses joey on the forehead and walks out the classroom* *exits the school* *walks off the school's property* (10 minutes later) *Opens school's front door* *runs to the class before the late bell* *enters class* *heads to my seat* *late bell rings* As I walk towards my seat, timothy sling shot a pencil at my booty. *pauses* *picks up pencil from the ground* * places pencil back on timothy's desk* "I think you dropped this, tim, maybe next time, you'll be more careful" *pinches timothy's cheek* (laughter in the background) * continues back walking to my desk* *sits down* As I look around the room, I kept noticing timothy staring at me with rosy red cheeks. *enters carman, sharlene, and shaie* "Awe snap!!...who made you blush this time best friend". Timothy turned around from looking at me. *carman looks at me* "Chocolate made you blush, already?!" *carman laughs* "You know, to be real with you, you are horrible at this hard to get game" "Geesh..thanks" "Glad to be at your service" *carman chuckles* (Far on the other side of the classroom) "Bobby!!" "What is it, shay?" *shay walks over towards bobby, and sits on his lap* "We need to talk" "About?" "Umm...we need to talk in private" "Ok" *Mr.lawerence stands up* "Alright..settle down, class" *everyone sits down* "Since we are only three days away from graduation day..." *entire class cheers* "This is a time to what..chocolate!" I stand up and tells shay, carman, and sharlene to stand up with me. *whispers* "One..two..three" "This is time tooooo....TURN UP!!" *blast music* *eveyone starts dancing* We danced all the way to lunch time. Instead of eating school lunch, Mr.lawerence and the principle bought us lunch. When I looked at the time on my watch, it was 11:55 a.m. "oh snap" I grabbed my bag, and signaled to mr.lawerence that I was leaving to go get my brother. *mr.lawerence nods* *exits the classroom* *timothy sneeks out the classroom and follows me out the building* *timothy runs up besides me* "Hey, where you think you going?" *ignores timothy and kept walking* "Look..i'm sorry about what had happened in class today" *slightly looks at timothy* "Look...it's fine, you were only going through Jerk phase 1" *opens classroom door* Joey turns around. "Choco!!!" *joey runs and gives me great big hug* *carries joey* *walks over to the teacher's desk and signs joey out* *exits classroom* *softly places joey on the ground* Joey notices timothy standing outside. "Timmy!!" *timothy swoops joey into the air* "What's up, big man" "Put him down because we need to start walking" *timothy places joey on the ground* *joey quickly grabs my hand* *timothy walks beside me*  (5 minutes later) *enters classroom**heads towards mr.lawerence* Mr.lawerence hands me my lunch. Joey could smell the good food coming from my lunch bag. I headed towards a large table. *joey follows**sits down* Joey quickly jumps onto my lap. Timothy grabbed his lunch and sat next to me and joey. I looked at timothy and said, "Don't you usually sit with Carmen and Sharlene?" Timothy looks at them with disgust and said," I hate sharlene", continues,"carmen would understand" I looked at timothy, and said," understand what?!...that you had a crush on me since the 6th grade, and that you only went out with sharlene to make me jealous?" Timothy was silent. "Right.....you seriously thought that i didnt know" Timothy stared at me as i fed joey his lunch. "I...I'm sorry" I ignored him. Timothy got up from the table, and sat his desk. I refused to feel pity for him. *tugs at my shirt**looks down* "choco...i got to peepee" "Ok..lets go" *gets up**walks up to mr.lawerence**whispers* "Can you watch my stuff as i take my brother to the restroom?" *mr.lawerence nods* *exits classroom**enters ladies restroom**enters stall**Joey begins to use it.* "You done, joey?" *joey nods**opens restroom stall**stands face to face with sharlene and her sister, toshia* Toshia spits on the floor. Joey looks at toshia and screams," you are disguisting, creep!!" *joey kicks toshia**I smiles* "Let's go wash your hands, joey" *walks to sink**washes joeys hands**exits restroom**enters classroom**walks towards the table**sits down* "Come on joey ...let's get you something to do" *pulls out some paper and color pencils* "Here draw on these" *joey begins to color* *dozes off a bit* *phone vibrates* I quickly answered. "Hello?" *sobs* "Hello? whose this?" "My little angel..." "mom?" *joey quickly looks at me* "Hello darling...im soo sorry that i haven't been there for you and joey the past 3 years" "Its...its ok...its fine" "No its not fine because i should have been there for you as a mother" *baby cries in the background* "seems like you have a new child" "Yes...and its a girl...you're new baby sister" "Well, congrats on that one" "You don't sound happy, baby girl...what's wrong?" "It's because im not...you expect me to be all kool-aid smiles and screaming with joy for the new one. Let me guess...when it was born, you said she was a gift from god,right?...well guess what?! Bad news for you...its not! Joey barely remembers your name, face,and voice..matter fact, he barely remembers a thing about you, only reason why he knows that he has a mom is because i allowed him too. Other than that..he has been calling me mom, but each time i have to tell him that im his sister and that mother has died n has left you to me..*tears flow from my eyes*...n each time i cry only because the true fact is that my own mother has left us because she wanted to love a stranger rather than her own children...by the way, my graduation day is Monday at 10:00am, but whats the point of telling you when your husband wont even let you out of his sight" *hangs up**starts to cry**runs out of the classroom**joey begins to throw a tantrum**mr.lawerence runs after me*" chocolate...what's wrong...please tell me what's wrong?" *looks at mr.lawerence* "My mother just called me out of the blue" "what did she want?" "she wanted to brag about her 3 year old daughter". Joey stands in the middle of the hallway with his teddy bear. "Choco...im scared" *walks towards joey* "Mr.lawerence, i need to go now" "Okay" *heads out the school* *holds joey's hand* (15 minutes later) *heads up the stairs**opens the door* "Come on, joey" *joey walks inside**closes the door* "Come on joey...lets go change your clothes" Joey runs into his room, and jumps on the bed. *enters room**Joey starts to quickly take off his clothes**pulls out joey's clothes**helps joey put on his clothes* " go watch tv" *joey runs into the tv room**walks into the kitchen* "what you want to eat?" "cereal" "what kind" "fuwoot loops" *chuckles* "ok" *opens refrigerator's door**makes joey's cereal* "joey come eat your cereal" "ok" *knock..knock**walks towards the door**looks through peep hole* "gorge!!!" *opens door* "gorge!!" *jumps into his arms* *gorge smiles* "what's up, coco" *gorge walks inside**door closes* Joey was so focused on Tom & Jerry that he didnt notice that gorge came inside. As joey was watching tv, gorge and I walked to my room. *closes the door* *gorge sits on the bed* "It's been so long" "I know right" "You know i miss you, right?" "I miss you too, sis" "Now, you know that we are not real siblings...it's a title we use outside my room" " Yeah, I know, but what if we..." "Shhh....please don't doubt us. If only you knew, that the thought of you gives me strength and courage to get through life itself" *gorge softly kisses me on the lips* "What was that for, gorge?" "It's a thank you" "Well, here's my thank you" *locks the door* (few minutes later) *giggles* *door opens* *gorge and I exits the room* "What if the tiger jumped on me though?" "oh wow" *enters the tv room* *stops walking* "What in the world are you doing here, timothy?!!" "i should be asking you the same thing" "ummmmm....i live here?" "Not you...him?!" *gorge looks shocked* "who me?" "um..nahhh, yeah you nigga" "Well, i came..." "man, nigga, i dont care why you came...i want to know why you still here....in my girl's crib" "your...your girl?!" "That's what i said...isnt it?!" * i interrupt* " you never answered my question...how'd you get in here?" " i asked the manager for the spare key" "i...i thought my mother had the spare key" "nope...i thought so too, but he said she gave it back before she went to the airport because she wouldn't need it no more" *feels sad* *gorge looks at me* "choco..u ok? *runs to my room* "choco!!" *locks my door* *grabs my phone* *dials up my mother* "hello?" *long silence* "hello?...anybody there?" "why'd you return the spare key?" "wha...what you mean?" "the spare key!!...why'd you return the key...the damn key that helps you check up on us...that key!!" "chocolate...i would've told you, but..." "I don't care anymore!!" *hangs up* *throws my phone**screams* *exits my room* As i enter the tv room, gorge and timothy both stares at me. "what?!" *gorge tries to hug me* "jus...just get out!! *pushes both of them out the door**locks the door* "joey turn off the tv and come to bed" "5 more minutes" "ok, but thats it...i got my phone on timer" "ok" (5 minutes later) *joey enters the room**joey climbs onto the bed and falls asleep**i curl up with joey**whispers* "good night"       Chapter 2- The Fire *alarm beeps* *clock says 7:45 am* I look at my calendar. *thinks* "yess!! It's the annual senior ball!" *jumps out of bed* I walk towards my closet.  *opens my closet* I pull out a beautiful, silky, mermaid tailed shaped dress with a glittery design, and colored with a shade of bluish-purple. I fell in love with it at first sight. *enters bathroom* *brushes my teeth* *quickly takes a shower* Once i got finish with my shower, i wrapped myself with a towel and heads to my room. *closes my door*  (a few minutes later...) *knock...knock* *runs to the front door* "who is it?!" "it's me, shaie" *opens front door* "Shaie!!" "hey girl" "come on in" "thanks" *closes front door* *walks to my room* "you still have my dress with you, right?" "yeah, it's right here" *hangs dress outside my door* "perfect!!" "so what time is the party again?" "I think it's 12pm to 12am" "ok kool" "let's get ready then...shall we?" "alrighty" *shaie enters my room* *shaie pulls out flat iron* "choco...sit" *sits down in the chair and grabs a magazine*  (15 minutes later...) "Alrighty...im all done" *stands up,and looks in the mirror* "wow, shaie you've gotten really good with this" "thanks, girl" "your very welcome, now your turn...sit" *shaie sits in the chair* *begins curling shaie's hair* (5 minutes later...) "alrighty..." *shaie stands up and looks in the mirror* "wow...like always you hook me up with the most awesomeness style ever" "you know it" "Alright...let's begin the make-up session" (20 minutes later...) "wow, don't we look beautiful" "girl...we the definition of beautiful" *knock...knock* *walks to the door**opens the door* Outside, there Bobby and Timothy stood. "Wow, you look absolutely beautiful, shaie" "Thank you, bobby" "Chocolate, you look like an angel" "you don't look half as bad yourself, timothy" *bobby and timothy hands us a bouquet of roses* "awww thanks" "ginks, you owe me a soda" *exits the apartment* *locks the door* *heads towards a limo**enters the limo**heads to the dance* (5 minutes later...) *exits the limo* *walks towards the building* As we walk towards the building, a waitress greets us. "Greetings, may i have your full names so i may seat you correctly?" " my name is Choclate Jackson, and these are my friends...Bobby Johnson, Shaie Princtone, and Timothy Wallace." "Alright...Ms. Jackson, and party of 4...come with me" We begin to follow the waitress. *enters building* "here you guys are...V.I.P. table #1" "thank you" *sits at the table* As we sit at the table, someone gets on the stage, and begins speaking. "Ladies  and Gentlemen..I am proud to welcome you to the 2013-14 senior ball!!" *everyone cheers* "Before we begin, I will like to tell you about a very special person that i met 3 years ago. She was lost and scared, very confused as of where to go. To make matters worst, she had to take care of her 2 year old baby brother by herself. All alone, she had doubts about staying in school, and whether or not to put her baby brother up for adoption. But after meeting her, i became her personal councilor. I guided her to a brighter and more happier future. So now 3 years later, that same little girl bloomed into a beautiful young lady. It is my pleasure to give this All-You-Can-Achieve Award to Ms.Chocolate Jackson!!" *everyone cheers* *looks shocked* *begins to walk towards the stage* *walks onto the stage* *gets the award* "thank you so very much" *tear falls from my face* "my brother and I are fine now thanks to my cousin, ms. larlia. *claps* "Although, my mother left us weak, and scared, today i can say that i, personally, have fully recovered, and is only a day away from recieving my diplomia. You may ask, "What motivated you to get this far?...well, the answer is that the day i questioned whether or not to place my baby brother for adoption, a question back fired at me. That question was whether or not i should graduate" *holds back a tear* "And looking at his little face, i just told myself, graduate, become a role model for my little brother, joey, and here i am... *tear falls from my face*...standing here, apart of this beautiful ball" *everyone cheers* *walks off the stage* *heads back to the table* *wipes my face as i sit down* *light turns off* *spotlight shines* *shaie walks into the light* "If you think that this is a sit and watch party, you are soooo wrong!!" *shaie clap three times**music blasts* "Ayeeee!!" *everyone starts dancing* As everyone is dancing, Timothy grabs my hand, and forces me onto the dance floor. "Are you enjoying yourself?!" "What?!" "I said are you enjoying yourself?!" "Oh yes thank you!" "Oh...that is nice to hear" "yeah...are you enjoying yourself?!" "As long as im with you, im happy" *smiles* I wanted to say something, but nothing came out, except : "look, im going to get me something to drink?!" "Okay!!" I walked myself out of the crowd, and headed to the drink bar. "let me have a glass of sprite with a cherry on top" *bartender nods* (2 minutes later...) "thanks" *drinks the soda**goes outside* *begins to walk down the street* As I begin to walk down the street, I thought about joey. "Let me call joey's babysitter" *gets phone out of my purse* *calls cythia* "you have reached cythia ballome, please leave your name and number and i will be back with u as soon as possible, thank you..bye" *thinks* "why isnt she picking up her phone?" *looks up* As i look up, i see a thick cloud of smoke in the sky. *sees ambulance trucks and firefighters* "Are they heading...." *begins running towards my apartment complex* *stops in front of my apartment complex* *sees smoke* *runs towards the building* "joey!!" *runs towards the entrance of the building* *police stops me* "ms, you can't go in there" "my brother is in there!!!" " i said you can't go in there!" *sees a firefighter holding joey* "jo...joey!!" *runs to the firefighter* *holds joey's hand* "joey??" *firefighter looks at me* "are you related to him?" "yes...he's my baby brother" "well, you have to come with me" "o...ok" *enters ambulance truck* *heads to the hospital* (5 minutes later...) *enters hospital* *walks into a room #246* *sees joey sleeping* *doctor walks in* *stands up* "doctor...is everything alright with him...is he going to be ok?" "Your brother has been suffuring from a severe case of asthma that turned into a life threatening case of bronchitis" "wha...what does that mean?" *tear falls from my cheek* "Ms...im going to be straight with you...your brother's body is strong but not strong enough to pump enough white cells into his lungs providing air to his body...meaning his lungs are slowly dying and he would need a lung transplant" "ho...how long does he have?" "sadly, he has only 2 weeks" "2..2 weeks?...it takes you guys a week just to place an order for a lung donor and then another week to find one and bring it here to this hospital!!" "Ms, you need to calm down, please" "h..h..how am i suppose to keep calm when i just learned that my brother is going to die if he doesn't find a donor within 2 weeks span!!" "i understand your worries ms, just please remain calm...at least for your brother's sake" *looks at the doctor* "i'll...i'll try" *sits down* *phone vibrates* *looks at my phone* "hello?" "choco...where are you?...everyone is worried sick about you...you just vanished from the party like that..." "look, im dealing with something very important right now" *intercom annouces* "Are...are you at a hospital??" "yeah" "what happened? Are you ok? Did someone hurt you?" "No..im fine...at least for now i am, but im in the hospital because my baby brother is sick and i have nowhere else to go to" "You can call your cousin, lalia." "Ok..i'll call you back" "alright" *hangs up* *finds lalia's number* *calls lalia* "he...hello?" "hello? lalia?" "choco...where are you? Are you okay?" *cries a bit* "joey...joey..." "what's wrong with joey?" "joey's dying" "dying...what, what you mean dying?" "meaning he's only have 2 weeks left" *silence* "where..where are you?" "i'm at the General Hospital..room #246" "Ok...im on my way...stay right where you are..ok" "ok" *hangs up* (15 minutes later...) *knock...knock* "chocolate?" *wakes up* "lalia?" *stands up**hugs lalia* *looks at joey**whispers* "he is just a baby....why can't he live longer?" *begins crying* As lalia comforts me, the doctor comes back into the room. "ms, may i ask where your brother's mother is at this moment?" "my mother is in New York, New York" "Do you think you can get into contact with her as so us, doctors, can have consent to the surgery just in case we do find a lung donor in time" *lalia stands up* "I'm both chocolate, and joey's eldest cousin that lives within state...if we are not able to recieve contact with my aunt, which is their mother, i will personally sign the consent forms for any type of life saving surgery that will be needed to save my cousin" "Ok, but may i ask who are you?" "I'm Lalia Jackson, head lawyer at the jacksonville law office." "did you say lalia jackson?" "yes sir, i did" "you never lost a case, and you be battling the best lawyers in the state" "true, but this is my family, and im willing to give consent in place of my aunt" "i understand" *doctor exits the room* *looks at lalia* "how am i suppose to graduate tomorrow if 1. i don't anything to wear, 2.my cap and gown is destroyed due to the fire at my apartment complex, and 3. joey's condition" "i have some of your clothes at my house, and your cap and gown wasnt destroyed because i never gave you your real one...i gave you a preview of it" "Oh ok, but still joey needs me" "joey will be fine...i promise you...the doctors will take good care of him, now..come with me so we can get sme fresh pair of clothes and something to eat" *nods**grabs my purse**walks over to joey and kisses him on his forehead**exits the room* *lalia walks over to the doctor* "Doctor...if you have any questions or additional information that you need to tell me while im not here, you can contact me from this number *lalia hands the doctor a card*..that's my contact information" "ok thank you i will place this in his file" "thank you" *exits the hospital**drives to lalia's house* *enters lalia's house* As we walk inside, a puppy runs to the door. *puppy barks* *lalia laughs* "this is pup...she's a cutey, isnt she?" "yeah, she is" *walks to lalia's room* "here you go" *lalia hands me 3 different pairs of clothes* "thanks" *walks over to the couch and lays down*   *goes to sleep* (several hours later...) "chocolate...*lalia taps me*...hey, wake up" *slowly wakes up* "hey, wake up girl...it's your big day" *mumbles* "go away" *goes back to sleep**lalia pulls me off of the couch* " go take a shower and put your clothes on, and in 20 minutes i want to see you in your best behavior, in your biggest smile, and in your cap and gown" *lalia grabs a bucket of water, and splashes me with it* "now...you are fully awake" *gasp* *lalia grabs my hand, and drags me to the shower* *shivers* *enters bathroom* "you soooo better be happy that im your cousin, and that i love you and i care for your future or else you would've been on that street, and lord knows what would've happened to you" *lalia blasts the shower* *starts to take a shower*  (15 minutes later...) *exits the shower* *wraps myself with a towel* *exits the shower*   Chapter 3- My graduation *enters the guest room* *dries myself* *thinks about joey* *tear falls from my face* *continues drying myself* (a few minutes later...) *knock...knock* *door cracks open* "you decant?" "Yeah" *door opens* "awwwww....look at my little baby cousin, looking so beautiful...i dont know what your mother was thinking when she had let you guys go, but im surely glad that i took you guys in" *smiles* "...and i truly appreciate everything that you have done for us...you treated us like we were your own kids" *tear falls from my face**lalia dries my tear* "awe don't go messing up your make-up over me now...we're family..that is what family is for...to take care, and be taken cared of" *smiles* "now....let me see you in your cap and gown girl" *giggles* "ok" *stands up* *tear falls from lalia's eye* "you look absolutely beautiful" "thank you" "you ready?" "i believe so" "i know you are...let's go champ" *smiles* *lalia smiles back* "breakfast is ready in the kitchen if you are hungry" "thanks" "i'm going to go get ready..ok" "ok" *lalia exits the room* *sits down**sighs* *pulls out a picture of joey* *kisses it**thinks* "hope you get better baby brother....you the only family i've got. If i lose you, i dont know what i'll do. you not just a brother to me, having to take care of you since you was 2, you are more like a son to me, so please get better." *looks at the mirror* "this is for you, joey" *gets up* *exits the room* *walks to the kitchen**enters the kitchen* *quickly grabs something to eat**lalia enters the room* "you ready to go champ?" "yes...im ready" "great..let's go" "ok" *exits the house**lalia locks the door* *enters the car**lalia enters the car, and drives off* *sighs* *lalia glances at me* "what's wrong?" "..." "you thinking about joey, arent you?" "what else am i suppose to think about...im about to go celebrate my graduation while my only baby brother is dying in the hospital" "everything is going to be fine...it seems that nothing else is wrong with joey because none of joey's doctors has called within the 24 hours that we have left the hospital saying that anything has gotten better nor worst" *mumbles* "they probably not calling because they dont want us to worry" "wha...what was that?...i wish they would hide anything from me...i would be stomping up and down their throats like medicine" *giggles* "is that a smile i see?" *giggles*  (5 minutes later...) *pulls into the parking lot* "go check in..i'll be right behind you" "ok" *exits the car**enters building* As i begin to walk down the hall, i hear someone scream my name real loud. "chocolate!!!!" *slowly turns around**sees shaie running towards me**smiles**shaie jumps into my arms* "hey girl" "chocolate we missed you sooooo much last night at the party. it wasnt the same without you" *slightly smiles* "im sorry for leaving but i had something very important come up" "i know...you told me that yesturday on the phone..what exactly were you in there for?" *sighs* "my baby brother is in the hospital waiting for a lung transplant...i pray for the lung to come soon" "awe chocolate im soo sorry about that" "yeah, but im here" "Yeah,well...come on" *shaie grabs my hand,and we run to the auditorium* *we make it to our seats* *program begins* (2 hours later...) *program ends* *everyone is cheering and laughing* *lalia phone rings* *lalia picks up* "hello?" "hello...this is doctor sherman from the general hospital. Are you Ms.lalia jackson, with whom i should be speaking with concerning joey jackson?" *lalia exits the building* "yes, this is she. Is everything alright with my cousin, joey?" "Ms.Jackson, from the biopsy report of joey's lung, it seems we were wrong about our diagnosis about his lung..." "Wha...what do you mean you were wrong with your diagnosis?" "I mean that joey does not have a life threatening case of bronchitis..." "That's good,right?" "I'm sad to say that it is not good at all...you see, we have just come to find out that joey has had a tumer in his failing lung, and blood cancer..." "you...you...you can fix it, can't you?" *sees lalia outside on the phone**walks outside* "Is everything alright, lalia?" "go..go back inside..im talking to joey's doctor" "is everything alright with joey??" "go back inside...please?" *tear falls from lalia's face* *nods* *reenters the building* "as i was saying doctor, can you fix him?" "Ms, i am being very truthful with you at this moment, and with that being said...im sad to say that we can not fix him...time has ran out for us to even try anything to help him..his body is shutting down to quickly..." *lalia begins crying* "how...how much time left?" "2 hours left" "..." *lalia faints* *runs outside**doctor in the background* "hello?....hello? Ms.jackson?" *picks up the phone* "hello?" "Yes, ms.jackson..all i am saying is you just might want to the hospital quickly" "um...ok" *hangs up**fans lalia* "lalia?...come on get up girl" *lalia gets up* "lalia...you...you alright?" "i'm...i'm fine, but we need to get back to the hospital now" "ok" *enters car**lalia enters the car**drives off*  (15 minutes later...)  *exits hospital**rushes to joey's room**sees the doctors leaving joey's room* "Doctor!!...doctor?!...is joey ok? is...is he going to make it for his lung donor shipment?" *doctor gazes at me in surprise* "wha...what? did i say something wrong?" "no, ms, you didn't say anything wrong..." *lalia walks towards us* "you didn't tell her?" *looks at lalia* "tell me what" "um..." "lalia?...are you hiding something from me about my brother?" *lalia looks away* *glares at lalia* "lalia!...what are you hiding from me!?" "chocolate...please i am as upset as you are but please understand i was going to tell you as soon as i got the news..." "TELL ME WHAT!!!????" *becomes extremely angry* *lalia becomes sad* "your...your brother..." "my brother...yes...what's wrong?" *tears falls from lalia's face* "your brother is dying...he has only an hour to live" *stops**looks shocked**tear falls from my face* "your...your lying!!...my...my...my...my brother is fine,see, *points at joey* he is only sleeping...see" *looks at joey through the glass window**begins crying* "he is only sleeping..." "chocolate...we must.." "DONT touch me!!!!" *glares at lalia* "dont you dare touch me" *opens the door**goes into joey's hospital room**lays on joey's bed**begins crying**holds onto joey**cries myself to sleep* (1 hour and a half later...) *wakes up**notices joey is missing**realizes that he is dead**screams* "wh...why!!!!!" *quickly gets off the bed* *exits the room* *storms out of the hospital* *rain begins pouring outside* *begins walking* *lalia chases after me* "chocolate...wait!!" *turns around* "what?!...what exactly would you really want to say to me right about now?...that..that you are sorry..that you didnt know...just please say me the time and save yourself the energy. I must accept the fact that the only person that i truly... *tear falls from my eyes* truly cared about did not even make it to see life to it's fullest" "..." "i just need time..." "but you..." "ALONE...i need time alone" *turns back around* *continues walking*  Chapter 4 - Joey's funeral As i continue walking, i began to slowly see images of joey within the rain. *keeps walking* (back in the hospital's parking lot..) *lalia sits in the car crying**lalia thinks*"i should've told her...why didn't i tell her...i should have told her that her only brother was dying..but is it too late to ask for her forgiveness? i hope it isnt" *lalia begins her car**lalia drives off* "i need to find her...fast" *lalia drives around looking for me* "is that her?" *lalia looks closer* "That's her" *lalia pulls up next to me**lalia rolls down her window* "chocolate..." *ignores her**lalia puts on her emergency lights and slowly started following alongside me while i was walking* "chocolate please listen to me...im so so sorry, please understand that when i got the call from the doctor at the hospital saying that he was going to die within 2 hours time...so many emotions ran through me...anger, confusion, sadness, fear...all of this ran through me so much to the point of me fainting...it's my fault...the reason why i didnt tell you on time is because i fainted...please forgive me" *stops walking**lalia stops driving**slowly turns to look at lalia**walks towards the car's window* "For the fact...*points up my finger*... for the fact that we are family, and you spent all your time taking care of me, and my brother, i will always and i mean always be in your debt, and for the fact that treated me like your daughter rather than your cousin, i will always and i mean always love you dearly, and for every extra moment you treated us with the extra love we needed as children, trust me, i will never and i mean never forget...*tears flows from my face*...but i can never forget my brother..." *shakes my head**lalia whips the tears from her face* "Chocolate...now you know i will never ask you to let go of the bond that you and your brother had grown throughout your childhood life with each other, but please come in the car and get out of the pouring rain, and please let me take you home, please" *thinks about it**decides to get in* "well...ok" *gets in the car**closes the door**lalia drives home*  (15 minutes later...) *enters the house**lalia quickly rushes to find some dry clothes* *shivers* *lalia walks up to me* "come on now...take off these wet clothes off, and let's put some dry ones on you" *shivers* "ok" *goes in the guest room**changes my clothes**wraps my hair in a towel**exits the room**heads to the tv room**sits on the couch**turns on the tv**watches house* *falls asleep* (some hours later...) *slowly wakes up* *mumbles* "lalia??" *looks around**sits up* *hears lalia on the phone**slowly walks towards lalia's room**listens* "no, listen, i don't want chocolate worrying about the arrangements for the funeral. Let me be the one worrying about that stuff, ok?..i mean like foreal, why would i let my little cousin worry about her baby brother's funeral when she is still trying to recover over the fact that he died..i mean like have a heart for the child" *slowly cracks the door open**door screaks**lalia quickly turns around* "chocolate...hunny, you up already?...i thought you'd be exhausted from all that walking you did in the rain yesturday?" "well, again, you thought wrong, and why are you trying to do my brother's funeral without me?" *lalia sighs* "i don't want you overworrying yourself right now...all you need to do is go lay back down on the sofa, drink you a nice glass of calming tea, and relax..watch some tv, do some yoga, do something to keep your mind at peace" "um...ok" *exits lalia's room* *returns to the tv room**makes me some hot tea**turns on the tv**sits on the sofa**begins watching another episode of house**slowly drinks my tea**focuses on the house episode**lalia exits her room**lalia enters the kitchen* "so..when is the funeral going to be?" *lalia looks at me* "what was that?" "i said when is the funeral?" "oh the funeral is today at 2pm" "mhm..ok" *lalia's phone begins to vibrate* *lalia answers* "hello?" "lalia..is it true?" "who is this? and how have you come to know my number?" "this..this is your aunt, charllote" "you have some nerve calling me...do you know what chocolate is going through because her brother is dead" "so it is true" "yes...it is true" *lalia looks at me* "what's wrong lalia?" "um...no...nothing" *walks towards lalia* "who's that on the phone?" "nobody.." "let me have the phone" "i said it's nobody" *grabs the phone* "who is this calling my cousin at this time of day?" *silence* "um..hellloooo?" "chocolate, please, quit acting like a child, you need to be mature about certain situations like these" *recognizes voice* "mom?" "chocolate" *hands lalia back the phone* "i...i can't talk to her...not now" *lalia takes the phone back* *walks back to the sofa**turns off the tv* *walks to the guest room* (15 minutes later...) *enters the funeral home**finds my seat**sits down**lalia sits next to me**service begins**pastor begins speaking* "How are you ladies, and Gentlemen doing this sad evening"  (2 hours later...) *walks around while the dinner is going on**an elderly lady walks up to me* "Chocolate?" "yes...may i help you?" *the elderly lady shakes her head* "no, you can't help me, my dear, i come only to give my dearestappologies about little joey. he was such a sweet boy." *glances at her* "is that all?" *the elderly lady looks sad and shocked* "you don't remember me, do you?" "To be honest with you...i don't know anyone's face or at least i don't want to remember anyone's face right now...my cousin just called up a whole bunch of family members that she knows that are related to me, and here we are...pilled up in one big hoop of pain..*chuckles*..it's funny. Seems like the only time family truly gets together is when a funeral is involved...and yes, i know that you are my grandmother off of my mother's side" *walks outside the funeral home**breathes in and out**looks at the sky**whispers* "i know you up there somewhere..where ever you are, stay close to god and don'twonder around" *whips my tear from my face**walks back inside**sees lalia**yells* "lalia!!" *lalia quickly turns around* "let's go" "just a minute, i got to finish my conversation first" "let's go...NOW!!" *lalia gets up and grabs her purse* "excuse me everyone..." *lalia andi exit the funeral home**enters the car* lalia drives off* *goes home* *rushes to the guest room* *lays down* *sighs* “well, I guess this is it, huh?” *a tear falls* “good night joe” *sleeps*   Chapter 5 – State of Georgia vs. Cynthia Ballome (part 1)   *wakes up* *yawns* "well...isn't it a shitty day. .." *slides out of bed* *looks into the mirror* *yawns* *thinks to myself* "Joe.... how can I go another day without you? You were my baby...1ike literally my baby...I took care of you... bathe you…fed you...loved you as if you were my own child although you were my brother... *tears falls* . . . I never experienced love so deep and so pure before in my life...." *breaks down crying* As soon as I looked in the mirror, I started to realize something. *whispers to myself* "live life to make joe proud" *slowly walks to the bathroom* As my feet start to touch the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, I start to shiver from the icy cold touch. *shivers* *turns on the water in the tub* *fog starts to rise* *sighs* *begin to trance into thoughts again* "this water feels good...too good...so good, I could just…" *sighs* I bathe myself and slowly dries myself. I slowly go to my room with sadness with the thoughts of joey being gone since my graduation. *stretches* *puts on my jogging outfit* *Lilia enters the room* "knock...knock" *slightly looks at her* *she smiles* "why...you're up bright and early" "I couldn't sleep so I decided to go out for a jog" "well, don't be out too long..." *Lilia smiles* "I won't…" “before you leave though... " "yes?" "I've made you some breakfast...it's in the kitchen" "thanks" *heads to the kitchen* (15 minutes later) As I exit the house, I am greeted by a soothing breeze that softly lifted my sadness towards the heaven blue skies. *smiles* *places my headphones in my ears* *plays brave by Sara Bareilles* *starts jogging* *mumbles* "say what you want to...and let the...fall out...honestly, I want to see you be brave..." As I turn the corner, I notice my burdens were slowly drifting as a temporary relief. (30 minutes later) *jogs into the driveway* *notices a brand new BMW* *enters the house* "hey. ...who's BMW. *sees gorge* ...OMG?! Gorge?!" *hugs him* *he smiles* "hey coco... "how you knew I was here?" "your cousin told me. " *slightly smiles* "well...I'm glad you came... *gorge smiles* "ah...yes.. .1've got something for you... "really?!" "close your eyes and cradle your arms" "cradle my arms?" "just do it...ok... " *closes my eyes and cradles my arms* *gorge places a golden retriever puppy in my arms* *gorge gets on his knee with a ¼karat diamond ring in his hand* *it licks me* *quickly opens my eyes while laughing* *sees gorge* "gorge?" "Chocolate Pearle Jackson..." "Gorge?!" "will you do me the honor. . . " "you can't be serious right now... " *tears flows* "in being my wife instead of my god sister?" *cries* "you've been aware of how I felt about you all this time, and after this tragic incident, I cannot afford to lose you either... -I love you so much and I don't care how much people say this is wrong, I want to spend forever with you and grow with you and be there with you..." *yells* "yes gorge yes?!" *rushes over to gorge and kisses him* *he places the ring on my finger* *Lilia walks in on us kissing* "oh...hello gorge" *cries happily* "Lilia?! I'm getting married?!" "omg?!...I'm so happy for you" *smiles* "thanks. " *thinks* "Gosh, is this really happening...l mean if so, don't stop" A few days passed and everything started to look up right... well, so it seemed. *door bursts open* "They found her?!" *Lilia jumps up while making lunch* "they...they found who?" "Cynthia?!" 'they did!" "yes... *holds a newspaper*-it says here that she's been arrested in the DeKalb county jail house for multiple fraud charges" It seemed like happy news until reality struck me hard. ''you do know what this means right, chocolate?" "yes...I do...” Moments later, a police car pulled into the driveway. "well, here we go... " *knock knock* *Lilia opens the door* "yes?" "is this residence of Ms. Chocolate Jackson?" "yes, I'm Lilia Jackson, her cousin, is there a concern that we must address?" "yes madam.... we need for both you and Ms. Chocolate to come down to the jail house to answer a couple of questions regarding her brother's killer... oh ok...let me get her and grab my purse" *she softly closes the door* "coco ...go grab your purse, we have to go... " "ok" *quickly goes upstairs* *Lilia turns off all the heat in the kitchen and grabs her purse* *grabs my purse* *comes downstairs* "you ready?" "let's go" We left the house calmly and followed the officers into their vehicle. On arriving to the jail house, an overwhelming feeling came over me. "I don't know if I can do this. " *Lilia looks at me* "you are as strong as you are brave, don't let nothing stop from getting justice for your brother... " *takes a deep breath* "ok" *exits the car**enters the building* The police leads us to an interrogation room. *a detective Step inside* "before we go inside, I just want to say, off the record, I am truly sorry about your loss... "thank you... but I need to know something... where is your father while all this is going around?" *looks at Lilia* "um…” "because I am aware from my records, you haven't spoken or seen your father since your brother was born…is this true?" *Lilia intervenes* "what does this have to do with you finding my cousins killer?" "well, because Miss Jackson, it seems that both of the victim's parents are alive, and yet, only one seems to have attempted to make contact with either of you…" *looks down* "we just need to know any leading facts from the victim's only living sibling eligible to speak on his behalf..." An awkward silence filled the room. "is it because he is in jail for attempted murder?" When I heard those words, I felt the whole world sink within my chest. "how...how... " *the detective looks at me* "how what? How I know?" "yes" "well, baby girl, that's my job" "is he here?" *the detective glares* "now why on earth would you want to see him?" "because he is my father..." "that is no explanation...never mind that...I’ll see if I can get you to see him... but only after my questions at hand..." "ok" After an entire two hours of questioning about what happened prior to the death of my brother, the detective finally wrapped it up. "now are you sure you want to see him?" "yes" "alright..." As they lead me to the visiting pen, my stomach began to tie a knot. "Joey Jackson?!" "yeah..." "you got a visitor..." ''who?" "your daughter...” *joey slowly entered the pen* We starred at each other like two identical strangers. *chokes up* "d... dad?" *joey starts to tear up heavily* "and all this time, I thought god had punished me for being an irresponsible father...I’m so sorry for not being there for you and your brother...I swear if it wasn't for my current situation...” “dad.... stop...I forgave your absence a long time ago... I just never knew this was the reason though..." "what you mean... you never got my letters that I wrote to you... "what letters?" "yes that's right..."what?" "each letter I wrote since the birth of your brother was sent back unopened. " *tear falls* "I... I never knew... ''well I know the situation must be bad if life lead you to meet me this way. . . " "well I'm afraid it is. . . " "before you tell me, I just want to know…how’s everything with you?" *smiles* "well, I'm getting married soon" *dad smiles* "1 want to be able to walk you down the aisle" "that would be lovely" "If good behavior strikes through, I could be awaiting parole" "that's awesome...I've missed you so much dad" "I've missed you too hun...how's my big man doing?" *looks at him sad* *mumbles* "no one's told you?" "told me what?" *clears my throat* "j... joey is dead... " *dad glares at me* "wh... wh... what you mean hers dead?" "it's as I... " "no... you have to give me an explanation or something because this do not make any form of sense..." "dad...” *the security guard walks up to our table* "if you don't lower your voices, I will have to force your visit to be short" *looks at the guard* "I'm sorry...” *looks at the time* "dad...I have to go. " *dad grabs my hand* "wait...please tell me. *tears fall down his face* did he suffer... " *a tear falls and shakes my head* "dad.... please..." "please... he.... he needed a lung transplant because he had a tumor in his lungs, but the tumor proved to be too large and there was not enough time to get his lungs on time...so... -so he struggled until his last breath" *tears continues to fall* *dad began to cry* *whispers* "I'm... sorry" *the guard shouts out* "visiting hours is over...wrap up your conversation... *looks at my dad* *tears falls* "dad... I'm sorry..." *gets up and leaves the table* As I left, I started to feel a moment of both peace and closure towards the absence of my father. The relief was extremely needed for me due to my life being ripped into two crumbled pieces. The tears falling from my eyes were as comforting pillows of doubt and stress being removed from my chest. *Lilia sees me* "chocolate... everything alright?" "yeah.... everything is fine... just need some air" *goes outside*   ~a quick thought process: if you have ever been through the steps that I've been through in life, then you must understand what I've been through and I understand what you been through. ~   Chapter 6 - State of Georgia vs. Cynthia Ballome (part 2) (6 months has passed...) *fixes my stuff into the moving boxes* *looks around* *thinks: "Well, it's finally happening.... I’m going to college... " * *Lilia looks at me smiling with her camera* "smile girl.... baby girl making big moves..." *smiles* *camera flashes* "perfect. " *giggles* "you excited to start college at Clark?" *sighs* "I actually am... I am just hoping this will be a fresh start for me, especially with what has happened over the past year... " *Lilia sighs* "yes I completely understand how you feel. " *Lilia clears her throat* "but it seems that you won't need a dorm anymore though..." *looks at her* "what you mean.... we live an hour away from Clark... " *she smiles* "I know, but Gorge doesn't" *looks at her* "now you know...l am not about to move in with Gorge before I get married...I’m just not" *Lilia looks at me* "this is not up for negotiation...I'm going to my dorm" *Lilia nods* *picks up mega, my puppy* *opens the door and heads towards the car* *Lilia helps bring my stuff to the car* As we drive towards Clark, my mind starts to play back memories with joey. *tears up while touching the window* *smiles* *whispers* "joey... " *Lilia interrupts* "chocolate...” “h... huh?" "you ok?" "yes, I'm fine...l was just thinking about joey, that's all..." *Lilia smiles* "it will be ok.... you’ll see..." (20 minutes later...) As we pull up to Clark, we see there is a rally of people gathered together. There was music playing, people shouting, and sadly, some people fighting. What a way to start college...l guess. *mumbles under my breath* "here goes nothing... " *we park at a building that looks like the student center* *looks at Lilia* "let's make sure this is the right building before we actually unload the car, ok?" *Lilia nods* As we get out the car, someone from my high school recognizes me. "Choco?!", shouts a familiar voice. *looks around* As I look around, I don't recognize anyone so I kept walking. "Choco?!" *gets frustrated* "who could be possibly calling me?" As I look around for the second time, I recognize shay waving her hands at me. "shay?!" *runs towards her* When I got closer, I suddenly stop. *eyes pop* "shay, you're…" *shay holds her stomach and sighs* "yes.... I’m pregnant...” *shay quickly smiles*...but look at the bright side, I got my best friend to cheer me on, right?" As I look at her, I can tell that she wanted to cry. "I know it's none of my business, but what happened to you and bobby?" *she looks at me* *she clears her throat* "bobby...bobby got cold feet after I told him that I was pregnant, so during summer break after graduation, he texted me last minute stating that he was accepting his scholarship at The University of Tampa for baseball, in which I said congratulations and that I was happy for him because he would finally get to live out his dream, then he said that he was moving near the end of summer break, and I fried to ask him if we would still be together... *shay chokes up while starting to cry* .and he said...he said that with him being in Florida and me in Georgia, our relationship isn't going to work so he broke up with me. " *shay starts to break down crying* *pats her back* "there...there…everything is going to be ok…how many months are you?" *shay looks at me* "I'm like 7 months...plus some weeks... I'm not sure..." *smiles* "you can share my dorm until you feel comfortable being by yourself' *shay smiles* "I truly appreciate you..." *dries her tears off* As we walk towards the dorms, we see the building for new registering students. *enters the building* *sees an elderly lady sitting behind the desk reading a book* "e... excuse me, miss, is this where I get my dorm keys?" *she slaps the book closed and looks up at me* The woman, herself, had a peculiar way that she carried herself. Her hair looked as she gets catered to on a regular. Her nails were well managed. Her eyes were as the ocean-waves, both smooth and deadly. "Wah ya want?" *looks shocked* Realizing that she is Jamaican, I get relieved. *smiles* "how you doing my island gal... *the lady rolls her eyes* . . .my family is from Jamaica too... " *she tips her glasses forward* "oh... really... which part ye fwom...Cause mi and mi fam fwom Kingston. " *smiles* "Mi fam fworn Portmore... .mi fatha dem hav mi small lil count of family left in Portmore... " *shay looks shocked* "I didn't know you were Jamaican?!" *looks at shay* €'we'll discuss that later... *looks back at the lady*... .but as for right now, I am just trying to get the keys to my dorm room... *the lady slightly smiles* "here ya keys...room 42" *nods* "thank you..." *quickly leaves with shay* (moments later...) "room 36, room 38, room 40. *sighs in relief*...here we are...room 42" I giggle the keys at the door just in case somebody was already in the room. *door opens* "I am so excited to see what my dorm looks like..." *enters the room* *shay giggles* "well, it could use some personal touches" *sighs* Well, as expected, the room wasn't bad, but like shay said, it could use some personal touches. I mean the room had spider webs, dust, and dirty windows, as if the room hadn't had someone living in here for ages. But what can I say? Home isn't home till you make it your home. But seriously...this is not what I expected when I said I wanted a place of my own for college. Maybe Lilia wasn't so wrong with that idea for moving in with gorge. *phone buzzes* Speaking of the devil...gorge is face timing me now*picks up the phone gorge, my darling how are you today?" "I'm doing well... your cousin told me that you are starting your years in college...I am so proud of you...how are you liking the new dorm?" "well, I wouldn't say that it is brand new…" *shay peeks at the camera* "hey gorge?!" *gorge giggles and waves* "hey shay nice to see you... " *gorge looks at me* "hey I was in the area and I was wondering if I could come scoop you and take you for lunch…" *smiles* "I would like that…” "alright...see in 5" *blows a kiss at the camera* *hangs up the phone* *sighs* "girl...l think I might move in with gorge if he asks me to... *shay looks at you*... .and yes, you can come because I need to assist you with the baby..." *shay sighs* "Choco...I need to talk to you.. *looks at her* "what's wrong?" "I... I’m not keeping the baby..." *looks shocked* "w... why not?!” I have a whole life to live, and a baby is the last thing on my to-do list. .." *looks at her* "you can't get rid of the baby...the baby will always need its mother...trust me...I should know... " *shay holds my hands* "which is exactly why I want you to have him. " *looks at her* "y... you can't be serious... "you are only person I know and trust that will take and do an excellent job raising my child... I'm not motherly like...I'm scared, confused...without bobby, there is no life for me. ...this child will just only remind me of that more...1 was going to give him away regardless, but now that I reconnected with you... .it was as if god was sending me in the right direction to a safe haven for the child in my womb.... I know this is shocking news, I will give you a couple of days to think it over, but after that, the decision is no longer in your hands. " *shay leaves the room* *remains shocked* *phone buzzes* *sees a text from gorge* ''I'm outside... " *grabs my bag and walks towards the main gate* *sees gorge sitting on the side of his car waiting on me* *smiles and runs towards gorge* "gorge?!" *gorge smiles* Gorge gets up and meets me halfway. *hugs and kisses him* *gets in the car* *gorge gets in the car and starts the ignition* *gorge looks at me* "is everything ok?" *sighs* "shay wants to give me her gorge coughs at the sound of child* "sa.. . say what now?" "exactly what I said.... she wants to give me her child... "what you mean... .1ike she's pregnant or something?" *nods* "yea, and I just found out today that she was pregnant... "and she wants you to keep her child, even after what you just been through with jo... " *glares* "I know. . ." "I'm sorry..." "1 think I should do it... " "whoa... shouldn't we at least talk about this... .1 mean as your future husband; I think I do have a say in this as well. . . yes you do...so what do you think?" "I mean we have to think about this rationally.... she is doing this because she is young and scared…she is choosing you as her close friend to take her child so that whenever she gets back to her senses, she'll know where to find you, and let's not forget the fact of if she wanted her child back, and you refused, she could accuse you of kidnapping her baby...due to there being no legal paperwork done for the adoption... because adoption isn't done between handshakes... there is a third-party... the law is involved, she must go downtown and hand over her rights as mother, and choose an adoption agency, in which a bidding/interviews are made onto seeing what family is suitable in adopting the child, and plus not to mention that you must get approved to adopt as well. . .” *sighs* "maybe your right. . .” “because if a random family adopt her child, she won't be able to ensure her child's safety, and there is a huge chance of her not seeing her child again...” “exactly... now you see what I was saying..." *sighs* "let's forget about this and go get something to eat. " * gorge smiles* "alright..."   Chapter 7 - Baby Johnathan   (3 months has passed...) *gorge looks at me as we sat in the adoption agency* *he whispers* "why are we here...do you really think we are ready for a child... you heard shay. . . *gorge clears his throat* . . .1 never wanted a child to begin with, and if bobby finds out and hates me for it, then oh well, a life for a life...my debt is repaid... the hell does that even mean?!" “gorge calm down…she clearly doesn't care about the child... I know and that's what is pissing me off... .1 legit thought she was better than this.... got us in here like some desperate grandparents.... if we sign this, then we will have to move up the wedding date so that way we can have more time to prep because our families will not understand the situation we have gotten ourselves into today... " "you are right as always...my beautiful husband... *kisses his cheek*. " *gorge blushes* *the adoption lady calls us into the room* *enters the room* "please have a seat... " *we sit down* "Ms. Princeton has explained to me the entire process of what she would like to happen in regards to her unborn child... " *me and gorge looks at each other* *gorge clears his throat* "what exactly is it that she wants done?" "well, she said that she wants you both to be rightful parents to her unborn child.... keeping his existence hidden from his father and his father's family and from her and her family as well...." *we look at each other shocked* "she...she doesn't want anything to do with the baby?" *the lady sadly nods* "it is written in this contract, clear as day... " *gorge gets upset* "give me the contract..." *the lady hands him the contract* *gorge grabs a pen and signs and dates the contract* "here... *gorge slides the contract towards me* "1 " "just sign. " *signs the contract* *gorge hands the contract back to the lady* "we signed under one condition. " "what's that?" "that she doesn't go back on her word, and doesn't ever fry to take the baby from us..." *the lady nods* "let's go" *gorge and I walk out of the adoption agency and leaves* (2 weeks later...) *gorge paces anxiously within the nursery* "I just pray the baby is healthy..." *holds all of the baby materials* *baby starts crying* *gorge and I look at each other smiling* *the doctor comes out* ''you guys can come and see the baby if you'd like..." *we nod* *we slowly walk into the room* *puts our stuff down on the floor in the room* *smiles while looking at the baby* *shay looks at me smiling* *picks up the child from her arms and smiles at him* "hi, pumpkin, I'm your mommy, and this is your daddy, look.. " *gorge slowly holds the baby* *gorge smiles* "he is so very chunky. . ." *gorge kisses his forehead* "...I think I'm going to call you Johnathan... " *the baby looks at gorge and smiles*  To be Continued... Publisher: BookRix GmbH & Co. KG Implerstraße 24 81371 Munich Germany Publication Date: January 4th 2020 https://www.bookrix.com/-jojo24 ISBN: 978-3-7368-9708-3

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-megan-awesome/

Megan AWESOME!! to awesome i dedicate this book to all my friends because them i got the happiness to make up this crap. ps the pics might be bad because i had to do them on paint... Text: I just got 40% dumber just by watching you talk.Do you know how much worse it would be if i actually listened?!!? http://www.bookrix.com/showpicmaxXY.php?x=90&y=110&p=sorry411_book_pic_part_1.png Karma will slap you in the face before i do..or at least you hope... http://www.bookrix.com/showpicmaxXY.php?x=90&y=110&p=sorry411_book_pic_part_2.jpg you told me to shut up i told you to back up..http://www.bookrix.com/showpicmaxXY.php?x=90&y=110&p=sorry411_book_pic_part_3.png Roses are red violets are blue no shut up and get out before i smack you!http://www.bookrix.com/showpicmaxXY.php?x=90&y=110&p=sorry411_book_pic_part_4.png i looked at a tree.you like the well to bad i don't it hit me in the head with a stick!http://www.bookrix.com/showpicmaxXY.php?x=90&y=110&p=sorry411_book_pic_part_5.png i had to do a math problem.. i had a calculater.. i got the problem wrong.. the teacher asked how i got it wrong.. i said i had a calculater i didn't say i knew how to use it... http://www.bookrix.com/showpicmaxXY.php?x=90&y=110&p=sorry411_book_pic_part_6.png you told me to shut up i told you to back up... All rights reserved. Publication Date: May 13th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-sorry411

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-bj-rnstjerne-bj-rnson-three-dramas/

Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson Three Dramas DRAMATIS PERSONAE EVJE, a prosperous distiller. MRS. EVJE. GERTRUD, their daughter, engaged to HARALD REJN. The DOCTOR. The EDITOR. HAAKON REJN, a yeoman farmer. HALVDAN REJN and HARALD REJN, his brothers. The DOCTOR'S ASSISTANT. INGEBORG, maid to the Evjes. JOHN, coachman to the Evjes. HALVDAN REJN's HOUSEKEEPER. HALVDAN REJN's MAID. A Lamplighter. The action takes place in a town in Norway. ACT I (SCENE.--The breakfast-room at the EVJES' house. A glass-cupboard, in two partitions, stands against the left-hand wall, well forward. On the top of it stand a variety of objects. Beyond it, a stove. At the back of the room, a sideboard. In the middle of the room a small round folding table, laid for four persons. There is an armchair by the stove; a sofa on the right; chairs, etc. A door at the back of the room, and another in the left-hand wall. There are paintings on the walls, and the general impression of the room is one of snug comfort. EVJE, MRS. EVJE, and GERTRUD are seated at the table. INGEBORG is standing by the sideboard. Breakfast is proceeding in silence as the curtain rises. INGEBORG takes away EVJE'S cup and re-fills it. As she brings it back to him, a ring is heard at the bell. GERTRUD gets up.) Evje. Sit still; John will go to the door. (GERTRUD sits down again. Directly afterwards, another ring is heard.) Mrs. Evje. What can John be doing? Ingeborg. I will go. (Goes out. She comes back, showing in HARALD REJN, who hangs up his hat and coat in the hall before coming in.) Harald. Good morning! Evje and Mrs. Evje. Good morning! (HARALD shakes hands with them.) Harald (to GERTRUD, who is sitting on the right). Good morning, Gertrud! Am I a bit late to-day? (GERTRUD, who has taken his hand, looks lovingly at him but says nothing.) Mrs. Evje. Yes, I suppose you have been for a long constitutional, although the weather is none of the best. Harald. It is not; I expect we shall have a thick fog by the afternoon. Evje. Did you have breakfast before you went out? Harald. I did, thanks. (To INGEBORG, who has come forward with a cup of coffee.) No, thank you. I will sit down here while you are finishing. (Sits down on the sofa behind GERTRUD.) Mrs. Evje. How is your brother Halvdan? Harald. A little better to-day, thanks--but of course we cannot build on that. Evje. Is your eldest brother coming to see him? Harald. Yes, we expect him every day. Probably his wife has come with him, and that has been the reason of the delay; she finds it difficult to get away. Mrs. Evje. Halvdan so often talks of her. Harald. Yes, I believe she is the best friend he has. Evje. No wonder, then, that she wants to come and say good-bye to him. By the way, have you seen how the paper bids him good-bye to-day? Harald. Yes, I have seen it. Mrs. Evje (hurriedly). I hope Halvdan has not seen it? Harald (smiling). No, it is a long time now since Halvdan read a newspaper. (A pause.) Evje. Then I suppose you have read what they say about you too? Harald. Naturally. Mrs. Evje. It is worse than anything they have said about you before. Harald. Well--of course, you know, my election meeting comes on this evening. Evje. I can tell you it has upset _us_. Mrs. Evje. Day after day we wake up to find our house invaded by these abominations. That is a nice thought to begin your day's work with! Harald. Is it so indispensable, then, to educated people to begin their day by reading such things? Mrs. Evje. Well--one must have a paper. Evje. And most people read it. Besides, one can't deny that a lot of what is in it is true, although its general tendency is to run everyone down. Harald (getting up). Quite so, yes. (Leans over GERTRUD'S shoulder.) Gertrud, have you read it? Gertrud (does not look at him, and hesitates for a moment; then says gently): Yes. Harald (under his breath). So that is it! (Walks away from her.) Evje. We have had a little bit of a scene here, I must tell you. Harald (walking up and down). Yes, I can understand that. Evje. I will repeat what I have said already: they write about _you_, and _we_ have to suffer for it. Mrs. Evje. Yes, and Gertrud especially. Gertrud. No--I don't want anyone to consider me in the matter at all. Besides, it is not what they say of you in the paper that hurts me--. (Stops abruptly.) Harald (who has come up to her). But what your parents are feeling about it? Is that it? (GERTRUD does not answer.) Evje (pushing back his plate). There, I have finished! (They rise from the table. MRS. EVJE helps INGEBORG to clear away the things, which INGEBORG carries out of the room.) Mrs. Evje. Couldn't you wash your hands of politics, Harald? (GERTRUD goes out to the left.) Evje (who has followed GERTRUD with his eyes). We cannot deny that it pains us considerably that in our old age our peaceful home should be invaded by all this squabbling and abomination. Mrs. Evje (who rung for INGEBORG to move the table). You have no need to do it, either, Harald! You are a grown man, and your own master. (INGEBORG comes in. HARALD helps her to move the table.) Evje (to his wife). Don't let Ingeborg hear. Come along, we will go into my room. Mrs. Evje. You forget, all the windows are open there. I have had the fire lit here, so that we could stay here. Evje. Very well--then we will sit here. (Sits down by the fire.) Will you have a cigar? Harald. No, thanks. (INGEBORG goes out.) Evje (taking a cigar and lighting it). As my wife said just now--couldn't you wash your hands of politics, Harald? You, who have both talent and means, need not be at a loss for a vocation in life. Harald (sitting down on the sofa). If I have any talent, it is for politics--and so I intend to devote my means to that. Evje. What do you propose to gain by it? Harald. What any one who believes in a cause hopes to gain--that is to say, to help it on. Evje. And to become a cabinet minister? Harald. I certainly can't do that any other way; well, I admit--that _is_ my idea. Evje. You will not be elected now. Harald. That we shall see. Evje. But suppose you are not re-elected to-morrow? Harald. Then I must find some other way. Evje. Always with the same object? Harald. Always with the same object. (EVJE sighs.) Mrs. Evje (who has taken her sewing and sat down by the fire). Oh, these politics! Harald. At any rate, they are the most prominent factors in life just now. Evje. We do not suppose we can exercise any influence over you. But at any rate it is possible that you yourself have not considered the position into which you have put the whole of us. (Both he and his wife avoid looking at HARALD during this discussion.) Mrs. Evje. Say what you really mean, dear--that he is making us all thoroughly unhappy, and that is the truth! Harald (getting up, and walking up and down). Well, look here--I have a proposal to make. It is, that you should abandon all opposition to Gertrud's marrying me at once. To-day again my brother has expressed the wish that we should be married by his bedside; so that he should be able to take part in it. I scarcely need add how happy it would make me. Evje. But whether she is here at home or married to you, you know, her parents' distress would be just as great every time their child was persecuted. Mrs. Evje. Surely you can appreciate that! Harald. But what answer am I to give to my brother's request?--most likely the last he will ever--. (Stops.) Evje (after a pause). He is very kind to wish it, as he always is. Nothing would make us happier; but we who are her parents do not consider that you could make our daughter happy as long as you remain in politics and on the lines on which you are now travelling. Harald (after a pause, during which he has stood still). That is to say, you contemplate breaking off our engagement? Evje (looking at him quickly). Far from it! Mrs. Evje (at the same time). How can you say such a thing? Evje (turning towards the fire again). We have spoken about it to Gertrud to-day--as to whether it would not be possible to induce you to choose some other career. Mrs. Evje. You understand now, why you found Gertrud upset. You must listen to us now, as she did, in all friendliness. Evje (getting up and standing with his back to the fire). The first thing I do in the morning is to read my paper. You know what was in it to-day--the same as is in it now every day. Mrs. Evje. No; I am sure it has never been as bad as to-day. Harald (walking up and down again). The election is just at hand! Evje. Well--it is just as painful to us, her father and mother, whether it is before or after the election. We are not accustomed to associate with any one who has not first-class credentials--and now we have to endure seeing doubt cast upon our own son-in-law's. Do not misunderstand me; to my mind, for credentials to be first-class they must not only actually be so, but must also be considered to be so by people in general. (HARALD begins to walk up and down again.) The second thing I do in the morning is to open my letters. Amongst to-day's were several from friends we had invited to a party we thought of giving--if, that is to say, your brother's illness took no sudden turn for the worse. No fewer than ten of them refuse our invitation--most of them making some excuse, and a few with a little more show of a real reason; but one of them speaks straight out, and I have his letter here. (Takes it from his pocket.) I have kept it for you. It is from my father's old friend, the bishop. I haven't my spectacles--and for me to have mislaid my spectacles will show you what a state of mind I am in. I don't think I have done such a thing for--. Here, read it yourself! Read it aloud! Harald (taking the letter). "My dear Mr. Evje. As you are my poor dear friend's son, you must listen to the truth from me. I cannot willingly come to your house while I might meet there a certain person who, certainly, is one of you, but nevertheless is a person whom I cannot hold in entire respect." Mrs. Evje. Well, Harald, what do you think our feelings must be when we read things like that? Evje. Do not imagine that, in spite of that, _we_ do not hold you in entire respect. We only ask you to ensure our daughter's happiness. You can do that with a word. Mrs. Evje. We know what you are, whatever people say--even if they are bishops. But, in return, you ought to have confidence in our judgment; and our advice to you is, have done with it! Marry Gertrud at once, and go away for your honeymoon; by the time you come back, people will have got something else to talk about--and you will have found something else to occupy you as well. Evje. You must not misunderstand us. We mean no coercion. We are not insisting on this alternative. If you wish to be married, you shall--without feeling yourself obliged to change your vocation for _our_ sakes. We only want to make it clear that it would pain us--pain us very deeply. Mrs. Evje. If you want to take time to think it over, or want to talk it over with Gertrud or with your brother, do! (GERTRUD comes in and goes about the room looking for something.) Evje. What are you looking for, dear? Gertrud. Oh, for the--. Mrs. Evje. I expect it is the newspaper; your grandfather has been asking for it. Evje. Surely there is no need for _him_ to read it? Mrs. Evje. He asked me for it, too. He knows quite well what has made us all unhappy. Evje. Can't you tell him? No, that wouldn't do. Mrs. Evje (to GERTRUD). I suppose you have had to confess to him what is the matter? Gertrud (trying to conceal an emotion that is almost too much for her). Yes. (Finds the paper, and goes out.) Mrs. Evje (when GERTRUD has gone). Poor child! Evje. Does not what she is carrying to him, with all that it says about you and about your brother, seem to you like an omen? I will tell you how it strikes me. Your brother is a very much more gifted man than I am; and although it is true, as that paper says, that nothing of all that he has worked for has ever come to anything, still perhaps he may nevertheless have accomplished more than either you or me, although we have done a good deal between us to increase the prosperity of our town. I feel that to be so, although I cannot express what I mean precisely. But consider the reputation he will leave behind him. All educated people will say just what that paper says to-day--and to-morrow he will be forgotten. He will scarcely find a place in history, for history only concerns itself with the great leaders of men. What does it all come to, then? Neither present nor posthumous fame; but death--death all the time. He is dying by inches now, dying of the most horrible persecution; and the emotion that his end will cause among a few individuals cannot be called posthumous fame. (HARALD begins to speak, but checks himself.) Can _you_ hope to make a better fight of it? You think you are stronger? Very well; perhaps you may have the strength to endure it until other times come and other opinions with them. But there will be one by your side who will not have the strength to endure it. Gertrud is not strong--she could never stand it; indeed now--already--. (Is stopped by his emotion.) Mrs. Evje. She hides it from you, but she cannot hide it from us. Besides, a friend of ours--our dear doctor--said only yesterday--. (Breaks off in tears.) Evje. We never told you, but he warned us some time ago; we had no idea it was so serious, or that it had anything to do with this. But yesterday he frightened us; he said she--. Well, you can ask him yourself. He will be here directly. (HARALD fills a glass of water and raises it to his lips, but sets it down again untasted.) Mrs. Evje (going to him). I am so sorry for you, Harald! To have this come on you just now--when your splendid brother is at the point of death, and you yourself are being persecuted! (A ring is heard at the bell.) Evje. But it should be a warning to you! Sometimes a single movement will change the course of a whole life. Mrs. Evje. And do have a little confidence in us! (A ring is heard again.) Evje. What on earth has become of John to-day? That is the second time the bell has rung. Mrs. Evje. One of the maids is opening the door, I can hear. Evje. I expect it is the doctor. Mrs. Evje. Yes, it is he--I know his ring. (A knock is heard at the door.) Evje. Come in! (The DOCTOR comes in.) The Doctor. Good morning! (Lays down his hat and stick.) Well, so I hear John has been up to his pranks again? The rascal is in bed. Evje and Mrs. Evje. In bed? The Doctor. Came home at four o'clock in the morning, drunk. Ill to-day, naturally. Ingeborg asked me to go in and see him. Evje. Well!--I am determined to put an end to it! Mrs. Evje. Yes, I have never been able to understand why you were so lenient with John. Evje. He has been with us five years; and, besides, it makes people talk so, if you have to send your servants away. Mrs. Evje. But surely this sort of thing makes them talk much worse! Evje. Well--he shall leave this very day. The Doctor (to HARALD). How are you, Rejn?--Oho! I understand. I have come at an inopportune moment with my complaints of John? You have all got something more serious on your minds? Mrs. Evje. Yes, we have had it out, as we agreed yesterday. The Doctor. You must forgive me, my dear Rejn, for having told my old friends the whole truth yesterday. She (pointing to MRS. EVJE) was an old playfellow of mine, and her husband and I have been friends from boyhood; so we have no secrets from each other. And Gertrud's condition makes me very uneasy. Harald. Why have you never told me that before? The Doctor. Goodness knows I have often enough given her parents hints that she was not well; but they have only made up their minds that her happiness in her engagement would quite cure her. They are a considerate couple, these two dear people, you know; they didn't want to seem interfering. Harald. Their consideration--which I appreciate and have lately had constant reason to be grateful for--has all at once become a more powerful weapon than open opposition. It makes a duty of what I should otherwise have felt to be unfair coercion. But now the situation is such that I can neither go forward nor back. After what I have gone through, you must see that I cannot withdraw on the very eve of the election--and after the election it will be too late. On the other hand--(with emotion)--I cannot, I dare not, go on with it if it is to cost me--. (Breaks off.) Evje (standing in front of the fire). There, there! Take time to think it over, my dear boy; talk it over with her and with your brother. The Doctor (who has sat down on a chair to the left, a little away from the others). I have just been to see your brother. A remarkable man! But do you know what occurred to me as I sat there? He is dying because he _is_ a man. The only people that are fit for political life nowadays are those whose hearts have been turned to stone. (Picks up something from the table and gets up.) Ah, just look here! Here is a fine specimen of petrifaction. It is a fragment of palm leaf of some kind, found impressed in a bit of rock from Spitzbergen. I sent it you myself, so I know it. That is what you have to be like to withstand arctic storms!--it will take to harm. But your brother--well, his life had been like that of the original palm tree, with the air sighing through its branches; the change of climate was too sudden for him. (Goes up to HARALD.) You have still to try it. Shall you be able to kill all the humanity that is in you? If you can make yourself as insensate a thing as this stone, I daresay you will be able to stand the life. But are you willing to venture upon political life at such a price? If you are--so be it; but remember that in that case you must also kill all humanity in Gertrud--in these two--in every one that is dear to you. Otherwise no one will understand you or follow you. If you cannot do that, you will never be more than a dabbler in politics--a quarter, an eighth part, of a politician--and all your efforts, in what you consider your vocation, will be pitiable! Mrs. Evje (who has been occupied at the back of the room, but now sits down by the fare). That is quite true! I know cases of petrifaction like that--and God preserve anyone that I love from it! Evje (coming forward towards HARALD). I don't want to say anything to hurt your feelings--least of all just now. But I just want to add my warning, because I believe I have discovered that there is a danger that persecution may make you hard. Harald. Yes!--but do you suppose it is only politics that offer that dangerous prospect? The Doctor. You are quite right! It is all the cry nowadays, "Harden yourself!" It isn't only military men and doctors that have to be hardened; commercial men have to be hardened, civil servants have to be hardened, or dried up; and everybody else has to be hardened for life, apparently. But what does it all mean? It means that we are to drive out all warmth from our hearts, all desire from our imaginations. There is a child's heart at the bottom of every one of our hearts-ever young, full of laughter and tears; and that is what we shall have killed before we are "fitted for the battle of life," as they put it. No, no--that is what we ought to preserve; we were given it for that! (HARALD hides his face in his hands, and sits so for some time.) Mrs. Evje. Any mother or any wife knows that. Evje (standing with his back to the fire). You want to bring back the age of romance, doctor! The Doctor (with a laugh). Not its errors--because in those days unclean minds brought to birth a great deal that was unclean. (Seriously.) But what is it, when all is said and done, but a violent protest on the part of the Teutonic people against the Romanesque spirit and school--a remarkable school, but not _ours_. To us it seems a barren, merely intellectual school--a mere mass of formulas which led to a precocious development of the mind. And that was the spirit it bred--critical and barren. But these schools of thought are now all we have, and both of them are bad for us! They have no use for the heart or the imagination; they do not breed faith or a longing for high achievement. Look at _our_ life! Is our life really our own? Mrs. Evje. No. You have only to think of our language, our tastes, our society, our-- The Doctor (interrupting her). Those are the externals of our life, merely the externals! No, look within--look at such a view of life as we were talking about, clamouring for "hardening"--is that ours? Can we, for all our diligence, make as much way in it as, for instance, a born Parisian journalist?--become like a bar of steel with a point at each end, a pen-point and a sword-point? _We_ can't do that; the Teutonic temperament is not fitted for it. Evje. Oh, we are well on the way towards it. Look at the heartless intolerance in our politics; it will soon match what you were describing. Harald. Everyone that disagrees with you is either an ambitious scoundrel, or half mad, or a blockhead. The Doctor (laughing). Yes, and here in the north, in our small communities, where a man meets all his enemies in the same barber's shop, we feel it as keenly as if we were digging our knives into each other! (Seriously.) We may laugh at it, but if we could add up the sum of suffering that has been caused to families and to individuals--if we could see the concrete total before us--we should be tempted to believe that our liberty had been given to us as a curse! For it _is_ a cursed thing to destroy the humanity that is in us, and make us cruel and hard to one another. Harald (getting up, but standing still). But, my good friends, if you are of the same mind about that, and I with you--what is the next thing to do? The Doctor. The next thing to do? Harald. Naturally, to unite in making an end of it. Mrs. Evje (as she works). What can _we_ do? Evje. I am no politician and do not wish to become one. The Doctor (laughing, and sitting down). No, a politician is a principle, swathed round with a printed set of directions for use. I prefer to be allowed to be a human being. Harald. No one can fairly insist on your taking up any vocation to which you do not feel you have a calling. The Doctor. Of course not. Harald. But one certainly might insist on your not helping to maintain a condition of affairs that you detest. All. We? Harald. This newspaper, which is the ultimate reason of all this conversation we have had--you take it in. Evje. Why, you take it in yourself! Harald. No. Every time there is anything nasty in it about me or mine, it is sent to me anonymously. The Doctor (with a laugh). I don't take it in; I read my hall-porter's copy. Harald. I have heard you say that before. I took an opportunity to ask your hall-porter. He said _he_ did not read it, and did not take it in either. The Doctor (as before). Then I should like to know who does pay for it! Evje. A newspaper is indispensable to a business man. Harald. An influential business man could by himself, or at any rate with one or two others, start a paper that would be as useful again to him as this one is. Evje. That is true enough; but, after all, if we agree with its politics? Harald. I will accept help from any one whose opinions on public affairs agree with my own. Who am I that I should pretend to judge him? But I will not give him my help in anything that is malicious or wicked. The Doctor. Pshaw! Harald. Everyone who subscribes to, or contributes to, or gives any information to a paper that is scurrilous, is giving his help to what is wicked. And, moreover, every one who is on terms of friendship with a man who is destroying public morality, is helping him to do it. The Doctor (getting up). Does he still come here? (A silence.) Evje. He and I are old schoolfellows--and I don't like breaking with old acquaintances. Mrs. Evje. He is a most amusing man, too--though I can't deny that he is malicious. (The DOCTOR sits down again, humming to himself.) Harald. But that is not all. Both you and the Doctor have--with some eloquence-- The Doctor (with a laugh). Thank you! Harald.--expressed your abhorrence of certain political tendencies with which neither you nor I have any sympathy--which affront our ideas of humane conduct. You do not feel called upon to enter actively into the lists against them; but why do you try to prevent those who do feel so called upon? You lament the existing state of things--and yet you help to maintain it, and make a friend of the man who is its champion! The Doctor (turning his head). Apparently we are on our defence, Evje! Harald. No--I am. I was told a little while ago that I was in a fair way to become hardened and callous, and that I must abandon my career--and that I must do so for Gertrud's sake, too, because she would never be able to share the fight with me. I was told this at one of the bitterest moments in my life. And that made me hesitate for a moment. But now I have turned my face forward again, because you have enlightened me! (A short, sharp cough is heard in the hall.) Mrs. Evje (getting up). That is he! (A knock is heard at the door; the DOCTOR gets up and pushes his chair back. The EDITOR comes in.) The Editor. Good morning, my children! How are you? Mrs. Evje (sitting down). I did not hear the bell. The Editor. I don't suppose you did--I came in by the back door. I took you by surprise, eh? Discussing me, too--what? (Laughs.) Evje. You have given us enough reason to, to-day, any way. The Editor. Yes, haven't I? Such a thing for a man to do to his best friends--eh? Evje. That is true. The Editor. To his old schoolfellows--his neighbours--eh? I expect it has disturbed your natural moderation--eh? Evje. I pride myself on my moderation. The Editor. As much as on your brandy! Evje. Are you going to begin your nonsense again? The Editor. Good-morning, Doctor! Have you been making them a fine speech this morning?--about my paper? or about humanity?--romanticism? or catholicism?--eh? (Laughs.) The Doctor (laughing). Certainly one of us two has made a fine speech this morning! The Editor. Not me; mine was made yesterday!--How is your hall-porter? The Doctor (laughing). Quite well, I am ashamed to say. The Editor. There's a faithful subscriber to my paper, if you like! (The DOCTOR laughs.) Well, Mrs. Evje, I can give you news of your man, Master John! Mrs. Evje. Can you? It is more than I can. The Editor. Yes--he is in bed still. That is why I came in the back way--to enquire after his health. Mrs. Evje. But how--? The Editor. How is he after last night? Mrs. Evje. Really, I believe you know everything. We had no idea he was out last night. The Editor. Oh, that is the very latest intelligence! He has been figuring as a speaker--he was drunk, of course--before the Association founded by his master's future son-in-law. And he made a most effective speech--indeed, the speakers at that Association always make most effective speeches! It was all about a Sliding Scale of Taxation, Profit-Sharing for Workers, the necessity for a Labour majority in Parliament, etc., etc., all the usual Socialist rhodomontade. You see how infectious intellectual ideas are! Evje. Well!--I shall turn him out of the house to-day! The Editor. But that is not in accordance with your love of moderation, Evje! Evje. It is a scandal. The Editor (to EVJE). But not the worst. Because, if you want to avoid that sort of thing, there are others you must turn out of the house. (Glances towards HARALD.) Evje. You seem determined to quarrel to-day? The Editor. Yes, with your "moderation." Evje. You would be none the worse of a little of it. The Editor. "Brandy and Moderation" is your watchword--eh? Evje. Do stop talking such nonsense!--I know one thing, and that is that you seem to find the brandy from my distillery remarkably to your taste! The Doctor (interrupting them). When you are in these provoking moods there is always some grievance lurking at the back of your mind. Out with it! I am a doctor, you know; I want to get at the cause of your complaint! The Editor. You were not very successful in that, you know, when you said my maid had cholera, and she really only was--. (Laughs.) The Doctor (laughing). Are you going to bring that story up again? Every one is liable to make mistakes, you know--even you, my boy! The Editor. Certainly. But before making a mistake this time--ahem!--I wanted first of all to enquire whether-- The Doctor. Ah! now it is coming! The Editor--whether you have any objection to my mentioning John in my paper? Mrs. Evje. What has John to do with us? The Editor. Just as much as the Association, where he delivered his speech, has; it--ahem!--is one of the family institutions! Evje. I have had no more to do with making John what he is than I have had with making that Association what it is. The Editor. Your future son-in-law made the Association what it is, and the Association has made John what he is. The Doctor. Or, to put it the other way round: John is Mr. Evje's servant; John has become an active member of the Association; therefore Mr. Evje is a patron of the Association. The Editor. Or this way: John, being the well-known Mr. Evje's servant, has for that reason become an active member of the Association which--as he expressed it--his employer's future son-in-law "has had the honour to found!" Mrs. Evje. Surely you never mean to put that in the paper? The Editor (laughing). They are John's own words. Mr. Evje. Of course, he would never put a tipsy man's maunderings into the paper. (To his wife.) Don't you understand that he is joking? The Editor (clearing his throat). It is already in type. The Doctor. Oh, nonsense! The Editor. The scene afforded an opportunity for an extremely amusing sketch, without mentioning any names. Mr. Evje. I sincerely hope that The Doctor (to EVJE). Oh, he is only teasing you! You know him. The Editor. What do you think of this? "Those who indirectly support so dangerous an institution will have to face exposure."--I quite agree with it. Mrs. Evje (getting up). What do you mean? Do you mean that my husband--? The Editor. A little fright will be a good discipline for him! Evje. Is what you quoted meant as an accusation against us--whether you are serious or whether you are joking? The Doctor. He is only trying to frighten you with a bogey; it is not the first time, you know! Evje. Yes, but what have _I_ to be frightened of? I don't belong to the Association. The Editor. But persons who do belong to it frequent your house. A man is known by the company he keeps. Mrs. Evje. I really begin to think he _does_ mean it seriously. The Editor. It is too ugly a thing to jest about, you mean? Evje. Is it possible that you seriously mean to allude to John as my servant? The Editor. Isn't he your servant? Evje. And to put that in the paper for every one to read? The Editor. No--only for those who read the paper. Evje. And you have come here to tell us that? The Editor. Do you suppose I would do it without telling you? Mrs. Evje. It is perfectly shameless! The Editor. It certainly is. Evje. Is it your intention to quarrel with me? The Editor. Of course! Evje. With your own schoolfellow?--one who has been it true friend to you in all your ups and downs? It is abominable! The Editor. Perhaps it was to ensure my holding my tongue that you have been my friend! Mrs. Evje. You _couldn't_ behave in such a fashion to a friend! The Editor (drily). To my own brother, if he stood in my way! Harald (to himself). This is too much! (Comes forward.) Is your hatred for me so bitter that on my account you must persecute even my future parents-in-law, your own old friends? The Editor (who, as soon as HARALD came forward, has turned away to the DOCTOR). Have you heard how people are being beaten up to go to the meeting of electors to-night? The last political speeches of the campaign must be made with red fire burning at the wings! (Laughs.) Mrs. Evje (coming up to him). No, you are not going to get out of it by changing the subject. Is it really your intention to put my husband in your paper? The Editor. He is putting himself there. Evje. I, who all my life have avoided being drawn into any political party? The Doctor. What has Evje to do with Harald Rein's politics? The Editor. He endorses them! Mrs. Evje. No!--a thousand times no! Evje. Why, only to-day The Doctor. I can bear witness to that! The Editor. It is no use protesting! Evje. But you must believe our protestations! The Editor. Bah! You will see something more to-morrow-- Evje. Something more? Mrs. Evje. Against my husband? The Editor. That scandal about the Stock Exchange Committee. No less than three Letters to the Editor about it have been lying in my pigeon-holes for some time. Evje (in bewilderment). Are you going to put nonsense of that sort in your paper? The most respected men on the Exchange--? Mrs. Evje. Members of the Committee--? The Editor. They are only respected men so long as they respect themselves. When their chairman enters into connections which offend public opinion, the whole crew of them must be made to feel what sort of a man it is they are associating with. The Doctor. So on Mr. Rejn's account you are going to expose Evje, and on Evje's account the Stock Exchange Committee? I suppose my turn will come soon! The Editor. It will come. The Doctor. Indeed! The Editor. The letters that have been sent to me are all from highly respected men. That shows that public opinion has turned round; and public opinion must be obeyed! (Throws out his hands.) Evje (in a troubled voice). It is quite true that I have noticed in several little ways that their temper--. (Looks round him, and checks himself. Then speaks more confidently.) But it was just at such a time that I looked for help from you, my friend. That is why I did not bother myself much about it. The Editor (to EVJE). But you know it is you that are attacking me now! Evje. I? Mrs. Evje. He? The Editor. And, besides, I have no choice in the matter. You have made your bed, and must lie on it. Evje (growing angry again). But do you really mean that you don't feel yourself how shocking such behaviour in an old friend is? The Editor. "Old friend," "old schoolfellow," "neighbour,"--out with the whole catalogue! Mrs. Evje. I am sure you don't deserve to be either one or the other! (The EDITOR laughs.) Think what you wrote to-day about Halvdan Rejn, who is dying. A man could only write that who--who-- The Editor. Well?--who? Mrs. Evje. Who has not an atom of heart. The Editor. Ha, ha! "The natural affections!"--"family considerations!" Truth, my dear lady, has no family ties; it has no respect even for a "dying man." Mrs. Evje. Yes, indeed--every decent man has some respect for suffering, and even wicked men are silent in the presence of death! The Editor. "Sufferer"--"dying man"--"martyr," I suppose! Oh, we know all that old story! Harald (coming forward). Let me tell you that you are a--person with whom I will not condescend to argue. (Walks away from him.) The Editor (who has at once crossed the room). This theatrical flaunting of the "dying man" before people's eyes, that a calculating brother has permitted himself, is of course what is really shocking in the whole affair. But I will tear the mask off him. The Doctor (following him). Listen to me, now; listen! We are gentlefolk, you know! And even if Mr. Rejn has let himself be so carried away as to mention his dying brother on a public occasion--well, I am not going to say that I approve of it, but surely it is excusable and-- Harald (coming forward). I want none of your defence, thank you! The Doctor. The one of you is just as mad as the other! (To the EDITOR.) But what has all this to do with Evje, seeing that, after all, the whole of this affair of the Rejns'-- Evje (to the EDITOR, eagerly). I give you my word of honour that I have never approved of Harald's utterances about his brother, either. I am a man of moderation, as you know; I do not approve of his politics. Only to-day-- Mrs. Evje. And what on earth have politics to do with the Stock Exchange Committee? The Doctor. Or with Evje's coachman! Evje. You might just as well take it into your head to write about my clerks, or my workmen, or-- The Doctor. His carpenters, or his brewers--or his horses! The Editor (stands suddenly still and says, drily): You may assure yourselves that things are quite sufficient as they are! (Begins to button up his coat.) Evje. Is it so bad as all that! Mrs. Evje. Good gracious!--what is it then? The Editor (taking up his hat). You will be able to read it to-morrow, together with some more about the "dying man." Good-bye! Evje and Mrs. Evje (together.) But before you go-- The Doctor. Hush, hush! Let us remember we are gentlefolk! What will you bet that the whole thing is not just a bogey to frighten you? The Editor (holding out his hand towards the DOCTOR). I hold Mr. Evje's position in the town in the hollow of my hand! Evje (fuming). Is your object to ruin _that_, then? Mrs. Evje. You will never succeed in that! The Doctor. Hush, hush! let us remember we are gentlefolk! Evje. In my own house--my old schoolfellow--that he should have the audacity--! The Editor. I have told you the truth openly. And, as far as that goes, you have stood more than that from me in your own house, my boy. Because the misfortune is that you are a coward. Evje. _I_ a coward? The Doctor (laughing). Hush, hush! Let us remember we are gentlefolk! Evje. Yes, I have been weak enough to be afraid of scandal, especially in the newspapers, it is true; that is why I have put up with you too long! But now you shall see that I am not a coward. Leave my house! Mrs. Evje. That's right! The Doctor. But you must part like gentlefolk, you know. The Editor. Pooh! You will be sending me a message directly, to call me back! Evje. You have the face to say that? Mrs. Evje (to EVJE). Come, dear, don't provoke him any more! The Editor (turning to go). You daren't do otherwise. The Doctor. But part like gentlefolk--! Evje (following the EDITOR). No, as sure as I live-- The Editor. You will be sending a message to call me back! Ha, ha, ha! Evje. Never, never! Mrs. Evje. My dear--! The Editor. Yes, you will--directly--this very day! Ha, ha, ha! The Doctor. Don't part like that! Part like gentle-- Evje. No, I tell you! The Editor (laughing all the time). Yes! Mrs. Evje. My dear-remember you may bring on one of your attacks! The Editor (at the door). You are too much of a coward! Ha! ha! (Goes out.) Evje (in a rage). No! The Editor (sticking his head in at the door). Yes! (Goes away.) The Doctor. What a visit! I cannot help laughing, all the same! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Evje. Do you dare to laugh at that? The Doctor. "Old schoolfellows"--ha, ha! "Moderation"--ha, ha! "The same party"--ha, ha, ha! Mrs. Evje. Oh, my husband is ill! Evje (faintly). Yes--a little water! Mrs. Evje. Water, water, Harald! The Doctor. One of his attacks--that is another affair altogether. Here (takes a bottle from his pocket)--smell this! That's it! Now, a little water! (Gives him some.) No danger this time. Cheer up, old boy! Evje. What a scandal! Mrs. Evje. Yes, you will never be able to bear it, dear; I told you so. Evje. To think of _my_ name appearing in the papers, when all my life I have-- Mrs. Evje.--done everything you could to keep clear of such things! And you such a dear, good, upright man!--Oh, these politics are the curse of the world! The Doctor (laughing). As I told you, you must go through a special process of hardening before you can stand them. Evje. And think of public opinion--my position--my connections! It is more than I can bear! Mrs. Evje (to the Doctor). I am sure the first time he reads something about himself in the paper, it will make him really ill! He won't be able to stand it, I know. The Doctor. Oh, he will get over it. Mrs. Evje. No, he won't. I am frightened at the mere thought of it. He will never be able to bear it, never! Evje. When all my life I have tried to keep clear of such things--! Mrs. Evje. And now in your old age, though you deserve it no more than a child does, to be dragged into it! If I could prevent that, I would willingly take on my own shoulders whatever-- Evje. No, no--not you! Not you! The Doctor. But the thing is not necessarily done because he threatened he would do it. Evje. Do you think--? The Doctor. He is so dreadfully hot-headed, but I am sure he will think twice-- Mrs. Evje.--before he attacks a lifelong friend! Yes, that is so, isn't it! Evje. Do you really think that there is any possibility then--? The Doctor. I really can't say! Mrs. Evje. Nothing in the world is impossible! Evje. We were both so hot-headed. The Doctor. Yes, it will have to be a more peaceable conversation than that of a few minutes ago! Evje. I don't know how it is--there is something so provoking about him. Mrs. Evje. Yes, and you have not been very well lately, either. I have often said so to you. Evje. No, I haven't. It has been just one thing after another! And all my life I have tried to keep clear of such things! The Doctor. I will tell you what, old friend; I am sure the best thing to do would be-- Evje. What? The Doctor. I am sure you will not be easy in your mind until someone has talked to him. Mrs. Evje. Yes, couldn't that be done? Good gracious, that is not sending a message to him! Evje. But who would--? (A short silence.) The Doctor. I don't know who would be best. Mrs. Evje. All our old friends have deserted us; we shall soon have none. The Doctor. Well, at all events, you have me. Evje. Would you really be willing to--? Do you mean it? (Grasps his hand.) The Doctor. Of course I will! He can't eat me! Mrs. Evje. How good you are! Of course you only need tell him--what is quite true--that my husband would never be able to bear it! He, who all these years-- Evje.--have put up with an incredible amount for his sake, both from himself and from others! Mrs. Evje. Yes, that is true! And now you will go, dear friend--our only friend!--and talk to him quite amicably and sensibly, won't you? Evje. But don't delay! He is so hot-headed that we must find him before-- The Doctor. Oh, I will find him; he is always about the town. Evje. And tell him--ask him-- The Doctor. Oh, I know what to say to him. Mrs. Evje. That is right! Evje. Thank you! I shall never forget how, at a moment when everything threatened to overwhelm me, you were the only one to stand by me! Ah, I feel as if a load had fallen off my shoulders! I feel all at once quite happy again! The Doctor. That's right. You pull yourself together! I will see to everything else. Evje. Thanks, thanks! But make haste! The Doctor. I am off! My hat? (Turns, and sees HARALD, and says to himself.) A-ha! He looks as if he had had about enough of this. It would have been a joke to-- Evje. Oh, do make haste, my friend! The Doctor. Yes, yes--if only I could find my hat. Mrs. Evje. It is on the table. The Doctor. So it is! Evje. Good luck to you! Mrs. Evje. And do it very tactfully! The Doctor (meaningly). And I hope you three will enjoy yourselves! (Goes out.) Evje. What a morning! Mrs. Evje. We, who have always endeavoured to take everything quietly and indulgently-- Evje. Yes, and to conduct our family affairs peaceably and affectionately! (Jumps up and turns to HARALD.) The whole thing is _your_ fault! Mrs. Evje. Yes, it is Harald's fault! From the day this unfortunate engagement came about, we have scarcely had a moment's peace here. Evje. No, no, that is not the case! We must be reasonable. At first, when Mr. Rejn had a fine future before him, when people vied with one another to catch him, then the engagement was an honour to us as well as to our daughter. But from the moment he took up these wretched politics--that is to say, from the time his brother fell ill--well, he can see for himself what the result has been to us! Mrs. Evje. And he certainly must admit that it is not what we have deserved; indeed it is more than a respected and well-bred family can put up with. Harald. I quite agree that it is more than a respected and well-bred family _ought_ to put up with. Mrs. Evje. Oh, so _you_ feel that too? Harald. Certainly. And the only excuse I can see is that there are many more in the same case. It is only in that way that such things become possible. Evje. I do not understand. Many more like--?--like whom? Harald. Like you! Mrs. Evje. In what respect? Harald. I will explain. Most of the successful politicians nowadays have not gained their position by means of any greatness of their own, but by the pitiable weakness of others. Another age will form a different estimate of them--see them in their proper perspective, and find them to be much smaller men! Evje. But what has that to do with us? Harald. Well, just try to size up that man whom a little while ago you turned out of your house and afterwards sent a message to-- Evje. We sent _no_ message to him! Mrs. Evje. A friend of ours has gone to talk to him. That is quite a different thing! Harald. Well, take his measure by yours and yours by his! He went away, and he will come back like a conquering hero. Will that be thanks to his greatness, or his talent--to the loftiness of his opinions or his feelings? No,--it will be thanks to your pitiable weakness. Mrs. Evje. Upon my word! Evje. Well, I--! Harald. Do you think any one who has any pluck in his disposition would consent to be a party to such a contemptible state of things? Think of your own daughter, educated by that good old man who lies in there, but an obedient child to you; think how she must be perpetually torn between what she loves and respects and what she sees going on here! No wonder she is ill! But remember this--she is not ill because she sticks to me; she is ill because of your pitiable weakness! Mrs. Evje. How can you dare to say such things! So you too--! Evje. Such an absolute want of respect! Harald. Listen to me, once for all. I intend, God helping me, to take up the fight that has killed my brother, the noblest man I know! And Gertrud is going to take up _her_ share in the fight, as I do mine. But to come to this house as long as _he_ comes here--to go through what I have gone through to-day--sullies my self-respect to such an extent, and offends my better feelings so deeply, that either he never sets foot here again, or I do not! Evje and Mrs. Evje. But--! Harald (quietly). When I came here to-day, I thought we should be able to arrange matters without my speaking out; but there is nothing else for it, so good-bye! (Goes out. A moment's silence follows.) Mrs. Evje. Is _he_ giving _us_ our dismissal? Or does he not really mean to break with us?--My dear, what is the matter? (Goes to her husband's side.) Evje (without moving). Tell me, my dear--am I a bad man? Mrs. Evje. You, a bad man? Evje. Because, if I were not a bad, wicked man, they could not behave in such a way to me, one after the other. Mrs. Evje. But, my dear, you are the best and dearest and most considerate of men! And they are shameless traitors to you, my dear husband! Evje. But how on earth, then, could it come about that I, who all my life have tried to keep clear of such things--for I have, haven't I? Mrs. Evje. Every one knows that, that knows anything about you. Evje. How could it come about that in my old age I should be despised and forsaken by everybody? Surely it is no crime to want to live in peace, apart from all that sort of thing? Mrs. Evje. No, indeed; that is what all decent people want to do. Evje. Yes, I thought so too. But now you see! Mrs. Evje. But _you_ have been dreadfully unfortunate. Evje. Why should I have been just the one to be dreadfully unfortunate? Most people escape such things altogether. Mrs. Evje (starting). Here is Gertrud. Evje. Poor child! Mrs. Evje. What on earth are we to say to her? Evje. Be careful, my dear! be careful! (GERTRUD comes in quietly and comes forward to them.) Gertrud. Did I see Harald go away? Mrs. Evje. Yes, my child, he--he went away. Gertrud. Without saying good-bye to me? Evje. That's true, he didn't say good-bye to you. Mrs. Evje. Were you expecting him to come into grandfather's room to say good-bye to you? Gertrud. Yes. Tell me how things went here? Evje. Why were you not here, dear? Gertrud (in astonishment). I here? You said you did not want me to be present-- Evje. I remember, yes; we thought it would not be advisable. Gertrud (still speaking quietly, but in growing alarm). But how did things go, then? Evje. How did they go? Badly. Mrs. Evje (hurriedly). That is to say, he did not behave at all well. You must prepare yourself for the worst, my child! Gertrud. Is it something very bad, then? Evje. You know he is a little hasty just now, when he has so much on his hands. He lacks a proper sense of moderation--but he will learn it, sure enough. Gertrud (almost inaudibly). But what does it mean? Is he never coming back? Evje. Never coming back? What an extraordinary question! Of course he will come back. He was only a little over-hasty, you know-- Gertrud. And said he would never come back? Mrs. Evje. Come, come, my dear--you mustn't be alarmed. Evje. He talked such a lot, you know, that we must not attach any particular importance to anything he said. Gertrud. So that is how it is! Mrs. Evje. We must make allowances for all that he is going through just now-- Evje (suddenly). My child, you look so pale-- Mrs. Evje (going to her). Gertrud! Gertrud (with a quiet movement of protest). I must give grandfather his drink; that was really what I came for. And that was how I happened to see Harald through the window. I will take grandfather his drink. (The curtain falls as she goes out of the room.) ACT II (SCENE.--A street in the "villa quarter" of the town. Between it and another street running parallel with it in the background, are two houses standing in gardens, half of the facade of one of them projecting into the stage on the right. On the left a third street runs at right angles to the others, to the back of the stage. The left side of this third street opens onto a well-wooded park. The house in the foreground on the right is in two stories. There is a narrow strip of garden in front of it, enclosed by an iron railing with a gate in it. The gate is standing open. The entrance door to the house is immediately behind this gate. There is light in a small window by the door; the ground floor windows are in darkness; in those of the upper floor, light is visible through heavy curtains. It is a wintry evening, and everything is swathed in an unusually thick fog, in which the gas lamps in the streets show dimmer and dimmer as they recede in the distance. As the curtain goes up, a lamplighter is seen descending his ladder from a lamp-post, where he has just lit the lamp at the corner of the house.) The Lamplighter (as he reaches the ground). It's all one whether the lamps are lit or not, in such a fog as this. (MRS. EVJE is seen drawing back the curtain at a window on the first floor. She opens the window and looks out.) Mrs. Evje. The fog is so thick, my dear, that I can't see across the street. Evje (coming to the window, with fur coat and cap on). So it is!--Well, so much the better, my dear! (They withdraw into the room; the window is shut and the curtains drawn. Two passers-by come along the street from the right, talking.) First Passer-by. The Land of Fogs--the old idea of the land of Fogs was that of a vision of confused and faint sensation, with the light of the intelligence dimmed and blurred like these gas lamps in the fog. Second Passer-by. It would be that, if our hearts did not often act as guiding lights to our befogged intelligences. Look at this house behind us--the brandy distiller's. The devilish workings of his intelligence have befogged the whole country--befogged it with brandy--and some such guiding light is much needed there. First Passer-by. Ah, well,--the old idea of the Land of Fogs was that fogs were--. (The sound of their conversation dies away as they pass into the park on the left. GERTRUD, closely veiled and wrapped in furs, comes slowly out of the park. She stops at the corner and looks down the street, then passed slowly along to the right, looking up at the house as she goes. She is scarcely out of sight when the house-door opens and EVJE comes out.) Evje. This is about the time he comes home--I daren't go to his house and ask for him; I don't know if he would admit me. I daren't trust to the Doctor alone.--This uncertainty is dreadful! (He starts at seeing GERTRUD, whom he does not recognise in the fog, walking towards him. She turns suddenly and walks back the way she came.) Who was that? She gave me quite a fright in this fog! Her furs seemed rather like--no, no, it couldn't be. I must not let any one recognise me. (Puts up the high collar of his coat, so that only his nose is visible.) Both of them called me a coward, but they are very much mistaken. It is not cowardice for a man who is respected and honoured to try and avoid scandal. Hm! Naturally those who trade in scandals think otherwise!--To act without attaching weight to the opinion of others, to disregard one's own predilections, to put up with being laughed at--all for the sake of preventing a scandal--that is to be strong and courageous. And it _is_ admirable, too; for it is admirable to act fearlessly in the interest of one's family, and of one's business, and of propriety. (Starts as he hears his door opened. JOHN has come along the street and gone into the house.) Is that some one coming out of my house? No, it is a man going in. And then to think of Harald Rejn beginning that nonsense about my being a coward, because I refused to become a party man! Every one ought to take sides in politics--that is their cry. Hm! I should say it required rather more courage nowadays to _refrain_ from taking sides. (Starts again.) Who is that? Oh, only that woman again. She is waiting for some one too. I expect we shall both catch bad colds. (Walks up and down.) It is an odd sensation to be walking up and down on the watch outside one's own house. Cowardice? Pshaw! To let one's self be abused in a public street without stirring a finger to prevent it, _that_ would be cowardice. I only hope he has not gone round the other way? There is much more traffic in that street, and some one might easily--. I think I will take a turn towards the town, and turn back when I am a little way from here; it will look less suspicious. I must catch him, because his paper will be going to press. (Looks up at his house.) My poor wife, sitting up there dreadfully alarmed on my account! (Goes out to the right. As soon as he has gone, the house-door opens and JOHN comes warily out.) JOHN. So he has gone out, has he! Oh, well, he is bound to come in again! I will wait and catch him, that I will! Tra, la, la, la, la! I can play about here in the fog till he comes back; I have nothing to lose! And it will be best to catch him in the street; he will make less fuss, and can't run away from me! Tra, la, la, la, la! (Lounges out to the right. A moment later, HARALD comes out of the park. He is dressed much as EVJE is, but has not his coat-collar turned up.) Harald. There is a light in her window! Then she is alone in her room. What am I going to do now? Twice already I have come to look at that light; now I have seen it--and must go away! Good-bye, my darling! Be patient, and wait! I know your thoughts are with me now; and I know you feel that mine are with you! (As he turns away from the house he sees the veiled figure of GERTRUD, who, as soon as she has come nearer, rushes to him, throws up her veil, and falls into his arms in a glad embrace.) Gertrud. I was certain that, if you could not go into the house again, you would be out here! I knew you would not go away from me, dear! Harald. No--neither now nor ever. Gertrud. And, while I was walking up and down here in the fog, I felt that though there might be all this gloom tend cold around us outside, there was the brightness and warmth of certainty in our hearts. Harald. Yes, our love is the one certainty for me! Fog may obscure the goal I aim at, the road I have to I read, the very ground I stand on; doubts may even for a while attack my faith; but my love for you shines clear through it all! Gertrud. Thank you, my darling! If that is so, there is nothing that we cannot overcome! Harald. Of course, you know what took place to-day? Gertrud. I can guess. Harald. Is it true that you are ill? Why did you never tell me? Gertrud. No, the doctor is not telling the truth; I am not ill! Even if I were, what matter? I should go on living as long as I could--and should have done my duty before I gave in! Harald. That is the way to look at it! Gertrud. But I am not ill! I suffer, it is true--and am likely to--every time you are persecuted, or my parents on my account. Because _I_ have drawn them into all this that, they are so unfitted for, and that is why it pains me so to see how unprepared it finds them--most of all when, out of tenderness for me, they try to conceal it. But I can't alter things. We are fighting for a cause that you believe to be right, and so do I; surely that is better than never to suffer at all in any good cause. Try me! Let me share the fight with you! I am not weak; it is only that my heart is sore for those I love. Harald. You splendid, loyal creature!--and you are mine! (Embraces her.) Gertrud. You should hear what grandfather says! Harald. Yes, how is the dear old gentleman? Gertrud. Pretty well, thanks, though he never gets out now. But he is following your work, and he says that what you are aiming at is right, if you ask for God's guidance on your way. Harald--you will always be the same as you are now--good and genuine--won't you, dear? Not like the rest of them--nothing but bitterness and malice, always talking of principles and consequences and all the rest of it, and always attacking others? If one were obliged to be like that, it would be a curse to be a politician. Harald. I will be what you make me! I think that behind every man's public life you can see his private life--whether he has a real home, and what it is like, or whether he only has a place he lives in--that is to say, no real home. Gertrud. With God's help I shall try to make a bright, snug and cosy home for you! And this fog is delightful, because it only makes the thought of such a home all the cosier and snugger! It makes us seem so alone, too; no one is out driving or walking; and we can talk as loud as we please, because the fog deadens the sound of our voices. Oh, I feel so happy again now! Do you know, I think it is rather nice to be persecuted a little; it makes our meetings so much more precious! Harald. But, you know dear, to meet you like this--and just now-- Gertrud (as they walk up and down together). Yes, of course! I had altogether forgotten how much you have to bear just now; I have been chattering away--. Oh, I don't know how I could feel so happy, because I am really dreadfully distressed. But, you know, I sit the whole play beside grandfather, thinking, without even being able to talk. I generally read aloud to him; now and then he makes a remark, but he really lives more in the next world than in this one now. (They hear a cough in the distance, and give a start, because they recognise it. The EDITOR and EVJE, walking along together, EVJE apparently talking very earnestly, are seen, indistinctly through the fog, in the street running parallel with the one HARALD and GERTRUD are in. JOHN is seen following them cautiously. They disappear into the park.) Harald. I hear the enemy! I am sure I caught a glimpse of him over there through the fog, talking to another man. Gertrud. Is he always about the streets even in weather like this? Harald. Well, we won't let him disturb us. (They begin walking up and down again in front of the house.) Gertrud. Do you know whom I met out here? Father! Harald. Really? Then it is as I thought; the other man over there was your father! Gertrud. Do you think it was? Poor father! Harald. Yes, he is weak. Gertrud. But you must be good to him. He is so good himself. Think how mother loves him; she is absolutely wrapped up in him, because he is so good! Harald. He is a good man, and an able man. But, but, but-- Gertrud. They have lived a very tranquil life. We of the younger generation try to undertake heavier duties and greater responsibilities than the older generation did. But we must not be angry with them. Harald. I am afraid it is only too easy to feel angry with them. Gertrud. No, do as grandfather does! If he thinks any one is going to be amenable to it, he talks to them quietly; if not, he only behaves affectionately to them. Do you understand, dear?--just affectionately. Harald. Well, to-day--ought I to have put up with their allowing themselves to be treated in such an unseemly way, and their treating me in such an unseemly way? Gertrud. Was it really as bad as that? Harald. You would not believe what it was like, I assure you! Gertrud (standing still). Poor father! Poor father! (Throws her arms round HARALD'S neck.) Be good to them, Harald!--just because of their faults, dear! We are their children, you know, and it is God's commandment, even if we were not their children. Harald. If only I could take you up in my arms and carry you off home with me now! Your love takes possession of my heart and my will, and purifies both of them. I am at a crisis in my life now--and now you should be on my side! Gertrud. Listen!--to begin with, I will go with you to your meeting to-night! Harald. Yes, yes,--I will come and fetch you! Gertrud. Down at the door here! Harald. Yes! Gertrud. And, in the next place, I am going to walls into the town with you now. Harald. But then I shall have to see you home again. Gertrud. Do you object? Harald. No, no! And you shall teach me a lot of things on the way! Gertrud. Yes, you will be so wise before we get back! (They go out to the right.) (The EDITOR and EVJE come out of the park. JOHN follows them, unseen by them, and slips past them to the right when they stop for a moment. The following conversation is carried on in hurried tones, and every time the EDITOR raises his voice EVJE hushes him, and speaks himself in a persistently lowered voice.) Evje. But what concern of yours--or of the public's--are my private affairs? I don't want to have anything to do with politics. The Editor, Well, then, you ought not to have had anything to do with _him_. Evje. When I first made his acquaintance he was not a politician. The Editor. Then you ought to have dropped him when he became one. Evje. Ought I to have dropped you too, when you became one? The Editor. Let me repeat, for the last time, that we are not talking about me! Evje. Hush, hush! What a fellow you are! You get into a rage if any one chaffs you. But you want to hit out at everybody all round! The Editor. Do you suppose I am myself? Evje. Who the devil are you, if you are not yourself? The Editor. I am merely the servant of the public. Evje. The public executioner, that is to say? The Editor. Well, yes, if you prefer it. But you shall pay for that word some day. Evje. There--you see! Always talking of paying for things!--of revenge! The Editor. You shall pay for it, I tell you! Evje. You are absolutely mad!--Poof! I am sweating as if it were the dog days! (Changes his tone.) Think of the time when we used to go to school together--when you never could go to bed without first coming to thank me for the jolly times we were having together! The Editor. None of that nonsense! I am accustomed to be hated, despised, spit upon, scourged; if any one speaks kindly to me, I do not trust them! Evje. You must trust me! The Editor. No--and, besides, I observed very clearly to-day that you had counted on having me in reserve if ever you got into a scrape. Evje. Well, who doesn't count on his friends? Doesn't every one take them into his reckoning? The Editor. I don't; I have no friends. Evje. Haven't you me? Do you think I would leave you in the lurch? The Editor. That is hypocrisy! At times when I have needed it, the very last thing you have thought of has been to give me any help! Evje. Have I not helped you? The Editor. That is hypocrisy, too-to pretend you think I am speaking of money. No; when I have been accused of being dishonourable--of lying--you, the "old schoolfellow," the "old friend," the "neighbour," have never once had the courage to come forward on my behalf. Evje. I never meddle with politics. The Editor (with rising temper). More hypocrisy! Another of your damned evasions! Evje. Hush, hush, hush! The Editor. You try to excuse yourself with a lie! You are doubly a traitor!--And then you expect me to have compassion on you! Evje. As sure as I stand here, I have never thought of deserting you, however bad things were. The Editor. And you have the face to take credit to yourself for that? It is all calculation from beginning to end! You thought it would be the best way of making me remember your loyalty, and reward you for it. Evje. This is abominable! The Editor. Oh, you are cunning enough! You represent wealth of another kind, which at first was not entirely irreproachably come by-- Evje. There you go again! The Editor.--and want to give it the cachet of good society; so you take care to keep friends with a newspaper that may be able to give you a helping hand in gaining what you want. Can you deny it? Evje. There may be a slight tinge of calculation even in our highest purposes. But the misfortune about you is that you can see nothing but the calculation, though it may be only an infinitesimal part of the whole thing. The Editor. Oho--I have had experience of you! Evje. Then you must have had experience of your party's loyalty, too. The Editor. My party's loyalty! Evje. Well, after all, it keeps you where you are to-day. The Editor. _It_ keeps me there? Evje. And you have friends in that party-myself amongst others--who certainly would rather stand outside altogether, but nevertheless give you their advice and support when you are in difficulties. You cannot deny that. The Editor. I have friends in the party? Oh yes; and if we lose a fight these fine counsellors are the first to run away! They are always egging me on and egging me on; but only let public opinion once get tired of me, and they will throw me overboard without more ado! By that sort of treachery they manage to fill the sails of the party craft with a new breeze--and leave me to shift the best way I can!--they, for whom I have fought with all my might and main! I despise my opponents--they are either scoundrels and thieves, or they are blockheads and braggarts. But my supporters are lick-spittles, fools, cravens. I despise the whole pack of them, from first to last! If any one would give me the assurance that if, as a pledge that I would never use a pen again, I were to chop off my right hand I should thereby gain the prospect of a peaceful life a thousand miles away from here, I believe I would do it!--I despise the whole pack of them--oh, how I despise them! Evje. But this is horrible! Do you find no comfort in religion? Or, at all events, you have your paper! The Editor. My paper, yes--but what good do you suppose that is to me? And do you think I give the impression of being a religious man? Evje. Then what do you work for? The Editor. Perhaps you think I work for your sake?--or for the sake of prosperity, or order, or whatever it is you cowards or self-seekers like to imagine it is that you personify? No, the whole human race is not worth the powder and shot that they are holding at each other's heads. Evje. Then why do you come and almost threaten my life, if the whole thing seems so worthless to you? The Editor. Do you seriously suppose that I would give in, so as to spare you or some other shopkeeper?--so that you should be able to say triumphantly, "You see he didn't dare! He didn't dare quarrel with Capital!"--or, "You see he has given in--he has turned tail!" No; what I should like to do would be to lay a mine underground, and blow myself and the whole lot of you sky high! Evje. And I and all the happiness of my family life are to be sacrificed in order that you shall not have to give in on a side issue of no importance!--Oh, I am chilled to the bone! The Editor. Ha, ha! It is good to hear you speaking like yourself again, because it reminds me that it is time to put an end to this solemn nonsense! (Looks at his watch.) A quarter past! You must be quick! Evje. Are you really in earnest? The Editor. I often play off jokes on you, it is true. But I don't know how you will like this one to-morrow morning. Evje. Then let me tell you that I solemnly refuse! I will not break off the engagement! Put me in your paper, if you like; I am a free man. The Editor. Bah! nobody is that. Then you refuse? Good-bye! (Walks away from EVJE.) Evje (going after him). No, no--where are you going? The Editor (stopping). Nowhere--or rather, I am going home. Evje. But you won't really do what you said? The Editor. Ha! ha! ha! (Moves away.) Evje (following him). No, listen! Listen to me for a minute. The Editor (turning back). Do you think I have time to stop at all the stations your vanity or your fright will invent on the way? (Moves away.) Evje. You mad creature--listen to me! (The EDITOR stops.) Tell me exactly what you mean to do? The Editor. Fiddlesticks! (Moves on.) Evje (following him). Do you mean to put in the paper that I have broken off this match? The Editor (stopping). Better than that--I shall spread the news in the town; then it will get about, and all the journalists will get a hold of it. Evje. Give me a day or two to think it over! The Editor. Oh, no--you are not going to catch me like that! It is election time, and the other side must be made to feel that all decent people have deserted them. Evje. But it is a lie, you know! The Editor. What is lying, and what is truth? But your resignation from the Stock Exchange Committee and your subsequent failure to be elected to any public position will be no lies, I can assure you! Public opinion is not to be trifled with, you know! Evje. And this from you! The Editor. Bah! Public opinion is a very faithless friend. Evje. But who, after all, constitute public opinion? The Editor. Oh, no--you are not going to lead me into a trap again! Besides--it would be very difficult to say exactly who does constitute it. Evje. This is really--! Then you won't put that in the paper? The Editor. The news of a broken engagement travels quickest by foot-post--ha, ha, ha! (Coughs; then adds seriously:) But won't you, of your own accord, break off what are really absolutely inadmissible relations with a man who scandalises all your acquaintances? Evje. Lay the blame on me, of course! I know his credentials are no longer first class; but my daughter--ah, you would not be able to understand that. The circumstances are quite exceptional, and--. Look here, shall we go up and talk it over with my wife? The Editor. Ha, ha!--you turned me out of the house this morning! Evje. Oh, forget all about that! The Editor (looking at his watch). Half past! Now, without any more evasions--will you, or will you not? Evje (with a struggle). No! I repeat, no! (The EDITOR moves away.) Yes, yes!--It nearly kills me to do it! The Editor. "The Capitalist, secure in his position, who needs pay no regard to," etc., etc.--that is the "common form," isn't it, you man of first-class credentials? Ha, ha! Good-bye. I am going home to send the boy to the printers; he has waited long enough. (Moves away.) Evje (following him). You are the cruellest, hardest, most reckless-- The Editor (who has been laughing, suddenly becomes serious). Hush! Do you see? Evje (turning round). What? Where? The Editor. Over there! Evje. Those two? The Editor. Yes--your daughter and Mr. Harald Rejn. Evje. But he swore this morning that he would never set foot in my house again! The Editor. But he will stay _outside_ your house, as you see! These gentlemen of the Opposition, when they give any assurance, always do it with a mental reservation! You can't trust the beggars! Come round the corner. (They do so.) Evje. An assignation in the street in the fog! To think my daughter would let herself be induced to do such a thing! The Editor. Evil communications corrupt good manners! You are a mere bungler in delicate matters, Evje. You made a bad choice in that quarter! Evje. But he seemed to be-- The Editor. Yes, yes, I know! A real gentleman would have guessed what he would develop into. He has a brother, you know! (HARALD and GERTRUD come in slowly, arm-in-arm.) Gertrud. While your brother has been ill you have received many gratifying proofs of the good feeling and goodwill that there is in this town-haven't you? Harald. Yes, I have. I have found no ill-will against him, nothing but kindness on all sides--with the exception of one person, of course. Gertrud. But even he has a heart! It has often seemed to me as if I heard a cry of yearning and disappointment from it--and that just when he spoke most bitterly. Harald. Yes, it needs no very sharp sight to see that he, who makes so many unhappy, is himself the unhappiest of all. The Editor. What the deuce are they talking about? Evje. We cannot hear from here. And the fog deadens their voices. The Editor. Go a bit nearer, then! Evje. Not before they separate. You only understand _him_! Harald (to GERTRUD). What are you holding there? Gertrud (who has taken off her glove and then a ring from her finger). The ring they gave me when I was confirmed. Give me your hand! No, take your glove off! Harald. Do you want me to try your ring on? I shall not be able to get it on. Gertrud. On the little finger of your left hand? Yes! Harald (putting it on). So I can. Well? Gertrud. You mustn't laugh at me. I have been beating up my courage to do this all this time. It was really why I wanted to walk a little farther with you first! I wanted to bring the conversation round to it, you see! I am so convinced that your happiness, and consequently mine, depends on your being able to be kind. You have got this meeting before you to-night. It will be a decisive moment for you. If you, when you are facing all this horrible persecution, can be a kind boy, you will win all along the line! (Pulls at his buttons in an embarrassed way.) So I wanted you to wear this ring to remind you. The diamonds in it sparkle; they are like my tears when you are hard and forget us two. I know it is stupid of me (wipes her eyes hastily), but now, when it comes to the point, I can't say what I--. But do wear it! Harald (kissing her). I will wear it! (Gently.) Its pure rays shall shed a light on my life. Gertrud. Thank you! (Throws her arms round him and kisses him.) The Editor. What they are doing now is all right! Ha, ha, ha! Evje. I won't stand it! (The EDITOR coughs loudly.) What are you doing? (The EDITOR goes to the neighbouring house and rings the bell. The door is opened and he goes in, laughing as he goes.) Gertrud (who has started from HARALD'S arms at the sound of the cough). That is--! Harald. It sounds like him! (Turns, and sees Evje.) Gertrud. Father! (Turns to run away, but stops.) No, it is cowardly to run away. (Comes back, and stands at HARALD'S side. EVJE comes forward.) Evje. I should not have expected my daughter, a well-brought-up girl, to make an assignation in the street with--with-- Gertrud. With her fiance. Evje.--with a man who has made a mock of her father and mother, and of his own doing has banished himself from our house. Harald. From your house, certainly; but not from my future wife. Evje. A nice explanation! Do you suppose we will consent to have as our son-in-law a man who spurns her parents? Gertrud. Father! Evje. Be quiet, my child! You ought to have felt that yourself. Gertrud. But, father, you surely do not expect him to submit to your being abused and himself ill-treated in our house? Evje. Are you going to teach your parents--? Gertrud (putting her arm round his neck). I don't want to teach you anything; because you know yourself, dear, that Harald is worth far more--and far more to us--than the man who went away just now! (At this moment the printer's boy, who has come out of the EDITOR'S house, runs past them towards the town.) Evje (seeing the boy, tries to get away). Go in now, Gertrud! I have something I wish to talk to Mr. Rejn about. Gertrud. You have nothing to talk to Harald about that I cannot hear. Evje. Yes, I have. Harald. But why may she not hear it? What you want is to break off our engagement. Gertrud. Father--! (Moves away from him.) Is that true? Evje. Well-since it cannot be otherwise-it is true; that is to say, for the moment. (Aside.) Good Lord, they can make it up right enough when this is all over! Gertrud (who is standing as if thunderstruck). I saw you with him!--Ah! that is how it is! (Looks at her father, bursts into tears and rushes to the door of their house, pulls the bell and disappears into the house.) Evje. What is it? What is the matter with her? Harald. I think I know. She realises that her life's happiness has been bought and sold. (Bows to EVJE.) Good-bye! (Goes out to the right.) Evje (after standing dumb for some moments). Bought and sold? Some people take everything so dreadfully solemnly. It is only a manoeuvre--to get out of this difficulty. Why is it that I cannot get free of it! They both of them exaggerate matters so absurdly; first of all this crazy fellow, and then Harald with his "Good-bye," spoken as if the ground were giving way beneath his feet! I--I--feel as if every one had deserted me. I will go in to my wife--my dear, good wife; she will understand me. She is sitting up there, full of anxiety about me. (He turns towards his house; but, on reaching the garden gate, sees JOHN standing there.) John (touching his hat respectfully). Excuse me, Mr. Evje-- Evje. You, John! Go away! I told you never to set foot in my house again. John (very respectfully). But won't you allow me to stand outside your house either, sir? Evje. No! John (standing in EVJE'S way, but still with a show of great respect). Not at the door here? Evje. What are you standing in my way for, you scoundrel? John. Shall I assist you to call for help, sir? (Calls out.) Help! Evje. Be quiet, you drunken fool! Don't make a disturbance! What do you want? Be quick! John. I want, with all respect, to ask you, sir, why you have sent me away. Evje. Because you are a swine that gets drunk and then talks nonsense. You don't know what a dilemma you have put me in.--Now go away from here, quietly! John. I know all about it! I was following you and the Editor all the time, you know! Evje. What? John. These articles, that were to go in the paper--the printing was at a standstill, waiting for them. Evje. Hush, hush, John! So you overheard that, did you? You are too clever; you ought never to have been a servant.--Now, be off with you! Here is a shilling or two for you. Good-bye. John. Thank you very much, sir.--This was how it was, sir. You see, I thought of the number of times I had run over to the printer's with messages when that nice Editor gentleman was spending an evening with you--and so I thought I might just as well run over with this one. Evje (starting back in alarm). What? What have you done? John. Just to do you a good turn, sir, I ran along and told them they might print those articles. Evje. What articles? John. The ones about you, sir. "Print away," I said--and they printed away. By Jove, how they worked, and then off to the post with the papers! Evje. You had the impudence, you--! Ah, it's not true! I saw the printer's boy myself, running to the office to countermand the instructions. John. I caught him up outside here and told him that a message had been sent from Mr. Evje's house. And I gave him sixpence to go to the theatre with; but he must have had to run for it, to be in time, because I am sure it was after seven. Excuse me, sir, but it _is_ after seven now, isn't it? Evje. You scoundrel! You vindictive brute! John. You can have a look at the paper, sir, if you like. Evje. Have _you_ got a copy? John. Yes, sir, the first copy struck off is always sent to the Editor, so I volunteered to bring it to him. But you must be anxious to see it, sir! (Holds it out to EVJE.) Evje (snatching it from him). Give it to me! Let me see--. (Moves towards his door, but stops.) No, my wife mustn't--. Here, under the gas-lamp! This filthy fog! I can't--. (Feels in his pocket for his glasses, and pasts them on.) Ah, that's better! (Holds the paper under the light.) What a mischance! The blackguard--! Where is the article, then? Oh, here--I can't see properly, my heart is beating so! John. Shall I run for the doctor, sir? Evje. Will you go away, you--! (Holds the paper first up, and then down, in his attempts to see better.) Ah, here it is! "The Stock Exchange Committee"--oh! (Lowers the paper.) John (mimicking him). Oh! Evje (trying to read). What a vile thing to do! John. Oh, go on! go on! Evje (as he reads). This beats everything I ever--Oh! John. Oh! We _are_ in a bad way! Evje (wiping his forehead). What a different thing it is to read libellous attacks on others--and on one's self! (Goes on reading.) Oh! Oh! What horrible, revolting rascality! What is it he says here? I must read through it again! Oh, oh! John. And often of a morning, when you have been reading the paper, I have heard you laughing till the bed shook under you! Evje. Yes, I who have so often laughed at others! (Reads.) No, this is beyond belief! I can't read any more! This will ruin my position in the town; I can hear every one laughing at me--he knows all my weaknesses, and has managed to make it all so hideously ludicrous! (Tries to go on reading.) Why, here is some more! (Reads.) It begins even worse than the other! (Lowers the paper, panting, then tries to go on reading.) No, I can't--I can't! I must wait! Everything seems going round and round--and my heart is beating so violently that I know I shall have one of my attacks! What a devil it is that I have been making a friend of! What a creature to have broken bread with!--an unprincipled scoundrel! And the disgrace of it!--the disgrace! What will they say at the Exchange? What will--? I shall not dare to go out of my house, at least for some weeks! And then people will only say I have taken to my bed! Oh, oh! I feel as if it were the end of everything! John (solicitously). Can I help you, sir? Evje. Will you leave me alone--! No, I will have my revenge on him immediately! I will go and ring his bell, and go into his house and call him a scoundrel and spit in his face--! Did I bring my stick out with me? Where is my stick? I will send my man for it, and then I will thrash him round and round his own room! John (eagerly). I will fetch it for you, sir! Evje (without hearing him). No, it would only make more scandal!--How can I take my revenge? I must do him some injury--some real injury that will seem to poison his food for him and rob him of his rest. Scoundrels like that don't deserve sleep! It must be something, too, that will make his family every bit as unhappy as mine will be when they have read this--something that will make them hide their heads for shame--something that will make them terrified every time their door-bell rings, out of shame for what their servants may hear! No, no, I am getting as evil-minded as he is, now!--What a horrible trade--for ever sowing the seeds of sin and reaping a crop of curses! Now I understand what Harald Rejn meant by saying that no one ought to give his help to such things!--Heavens, hear my vow: never again will I give my help to such things!--What am I to say to my wife--my dear, good wife, who has no suspicion how disgraced I am! And Gertrud, our good Gertrud--ah, at all events I can give her some pleasure at once. I cannot conceal it from them; but I will tell them myself, so that they shall not read it. John. Is there anything else I can do for you, sir? Evje (almost screaming at him). Once for all, can't you let me alone! Mrs. Evje (leaning out of a window she has opened). The sound must have come from the street, all the same. Are you there, my dear? Evje (drawing back in alarm). There she is! Shall I answer? Mrs. Evje. Are you there, my dear? Evje. Yes, dear, here I am! Mrs. Evje. So you are! I heard your voice, and looked all over the house. What is the matter, dear? Evje. Oh, I am so unhappy! Mrs. Evje. Good heavens, are you, dear? Come along in--or shall I come down to you? Evje. No, I will come in. Shut the window, or you will catch cold. Mrs. Evje. Do you know, Gertrud is sitting up here, crying? Evje. Good gracious, is she? I will come up--I will come up! John. I will help him up, ma'am! (Pretends to be doing so.) Mrs. Evje. Is that you, John? Evje (in a low voice). Will you be off! John. Yes, it is me, ma'am. He is so unwell. Mrs. Evje. Is he! Heavens, it is one of his attacks! Help him, John! Evje (as before). Don't you dare! John (who has rung the bell loudly). I do hope you will moon be better, sir! (Calls up to the window.) I can leave him now, ma'am! (To EVJE, as he goes.) This has been a bit of luck, for me; but you shall have some more of it! (Disappears into the fog as EVJE goes into his house. The two Passers-by, that were seen at the beginning of the scene, are now indistinctly seen returning along the street at the back.) First Passer-by. Well, the land of Fogs used to be thought by the ancients to lie in the north, where all confused ideas come from-- Second Passer-by (who does not seem to be able to get a word in). But, listen to me for a moment-do you think it means--? [Curtain] ACT III (SCENE.--A room in HALVDAN REJN's house. He is lying, supported on pillows, on a sofa on the left-hand side of the room. There is a table in the background, and another near the sofa. A lamp is hanging from the ceiling, and another standing on the table at the back. HAAKON REJN, his dress proclaiming him to be a well-to-do yeoman farmer, is sitting on a chair by the sofa.) Halvdan. So she couldn't come? Haakon. No; there are the youngsters, you know--she finds it difficult to get away. Halvdan (after a moment's silence). Remember to thank her for all her kindness to me. The happiest moments of my life have been those Sundays and evenings that she and you and I spent together at your house. (A pause.) Haakon. She wanted very much to know how you were feeling--whether you, who have suffered so much, are at peace now. Halvdan. At peace? A man who has to die with all his work unfinished, cannot easily root out all thoughts of that from his heart. Haakon. You should try to lay in God's hands all that you have striven for. Halvdan. That is what I struggle daily to do. (A pause.) Haakon. A sister of my wife's, who was a widow and badly off, died leaving three young children. But she was glad to die. "Their Heavenly Father will help them better when I am out of the way," she said. "I took up too much room," she said; "I know I have often stood in their way." (A pause.) Halvdan. You tell that just as your wife would; she told me that story once. Haakon. I was to tell you from her that she believes you are to die in order that what you have worked for may come to its fullest fruit. She thinks that when you are gone, people will appreciate better what your aims were. Halvdan. There is some comfort in the thought that I may be dying in order that what I have loved may live. I have already given up happiness-even honour-for it; I gladly give my life for it now. (A pause.) Haakon. Do you bear ill-will to any of those who have opposed you so cruelly? Halvdan. To no one. Haakon. Not even to those whose doing it is that you are lying here? Halvdan. No, to no one. (A pause.) Haakon. Could you bear to read something hateful about yourself to-day? Halvdan. I don't know. Haakon. Then you have not done with it all yet. Halvdan. No, I know I have not. It is only sometimes that the busy world outside seems to me like a ship sailing idly before the wind. More often, I am back in the midst of it again--planning, hoping, praying! I am young, you know, and have had to suffer so much--there was so much I wanted to do. (Lifts a handkerchief to his forehead. HAAKON helps him to wipe his face with it. A pause.) Haakon. But it must be a comfort to you, too, that Harald is taking up what you are laying down. There is good stuff in him. Halvdan. Yes. Haakon. And he never says more than is necessary. The country folk will understand him all the better for it. Halvdan. I hope so. As soon as he comes into my room I feel as if the atmosphere were charged with electricity--I feel as if I _must_ have a part in what he is doing--and so I work, and tire myself out. Ah, it often seems very hard to have to die, and leave undone a great work that one has failed to accomplish! Haakon. But you have made him what he is, you know--and many others. Halvdan. I have started the fight, that is all. It is hard to have to desert at the beginning of it!--But God is good, and will understand; He will not be surprised at what my thoughts are full of, when I go to Him. (A ring is heard at the bell.) Haakon. I expect that is Harald. Halvdan. No, he never rings. Besides, I expect he is taking a walk, to think over what he is going to say to-night. Haakon. Yes, I suppose it will be a big meeting. (The HOUSEKEEPER comes in.) The Housekeeper. Mr. Evje is here, sir, asking for Mr. Harald. I told him we were expecting him every moment. Shall I ask him to come in? Halvdan. Yes, show him in. (HAAKON gets up, as EVJE is shown in.) Evje (to HALVDAN). Good evening! (Sees HAAKON.) Ah, good evening! So you have come? That is splendid. Is your wife with you? Haakon. No, she couldn't leave the children. Evje. I see. (To HALVDAN.) And how are you? About the same? Of course, yes.--Where is your brother? Halvdan. He has his meeting to-night, you know. Evje. His momentous meeting--I know! I am going to it myself! Halvdan (turns his face towards him). You? Evje. My object in coming here was to take him home with me, so that we could all go together to the meeting. We mean to go on to the platform with him; I mean people to see that we are with him! Halvdan (turning his face away). Really! Evje (to HAAKON). You never answered my letter, Mr. Rejn. Haakon. No, I knew I was coming in to town. Evje. Well--will you sell? Haakon. No. Evje. But, my dear Mr. Rejn, you have not sold a single potato to my distillery for five years! And with a farm like yours! This year you had the best crop in the whole valley. Haakon. Oh, yes--it wasn't so bad. Evje. Not so bad! It was an extraordinary crop; and, everywhere else round about, the crops were very middling. Haakon. Oh, yes--it might have been worse. Evje (laughing). I should think so! But then why won't you sell? (Turns to HALVDAN.) I hope you will excuse our talking business in a sick-room; a business man has to seize every opportunity, you know! (To HAAKON.) You have never got higher prices elsewhere than you have from me. Haakon. No, so I believe; but I have my own reasons. Evje. Your own reasons? What are they? Haakon. I had a servant once--it is about five years ago now--a good, capable fellow. He used to take potatoes for me to the distillery every day, and every evening came back drunk. So I spoke to him seriously about it; and his answer was: "How do you suppose our brandy-merchants are to grow rich, if chaps like me don't drink pretty hard?" You know the man; he went into your service afterwards. But from that day I have never sold a potato to a distillery. Evje. But, my dear Mr. Rejn, we cannot be held responsible for the use to which such rascals put God's gifts! Haakon. No--no--I suppose not; still, I am not going to have anything more to do with it. Evje (to HALVDAN). Do you think your brother will not be home before the meeting? Halvdan. I should think he would; there is plenty of time yet. Evje. There is; but I should have liked to take him home with me first. The fact is (laughs) I have promised my wife and daughter not to go home without him. You know what women are! Shall I just go into his room and wait for him? There is something I want to talk to him about, you know. Halvdan. I don't think there is a fire in there. Evje. Oh, well, never mind--I will sit here. I have got a newspaper to read, and you two must go on with your talk just as if I were not here! I shall hear nothing, because I have something to read that interests me. (He pulls a chair up to the table on the right with its back to HALVDAN. HAAKON brings the lamp from the table at the back.) Ah, thank you very much! Now, just talk away as if I were not here! (Takes the paper from his pocket and sits down.) Haakon (sitting down again beside his brother). I should have liked to go to the meeting, too. Halvdan. Of course you must go! You will hear Harald tell them how each nation has its own appointed task in the world; that is why it _is_ a nation. But, as long as it does not realise the fact, its politics will be nothing but wrangling between the various class-interests--a haphazard struggle for power. Our nation has never got beyond that point! I have shouted myself to death over what is a mere market. Evje (to himself, striking the table with his fist). The whole commercial community is insulted in this insult to me! I will stir them up at the meeting, and insist on our taking our revenge in common! Haakon. I don't think things will be any better until we are better Christians. Men think of nothing nowadays but themselves and their position. Evje (to himself). No, no-that wouldn't do. What would people say? They would only say I was badly hit by this. Halvdan (half to himself). A Christian nation, thinking of nothing but its own interests--that is to say, power! Equality and Liberty have no meaning for it. Haakon, it surely will be bliss for a wounded soul to be taken into the Everlasting Love, high above all this so-called Christianity of the world! For my soul is sorely wounded! Evje (to himself ). If only I could strike him dead! Halvdan. But may they all be forgiven!--You asked just now whether I could bear to read something hateful about myself to-day. I think I could. Haakon. Then I can tell you the other message she gave me for you. I have been a little shy of telling you that. It was that you should remember that you must do more than forgive; you must pray for them. (A pause.) Halvdan (with his hand over his eyes). I do. Evje (crumpling up the paper and throwing it on the floor). No, I won't stand it! If the blackguard--. (Gets up in alarm, as he realises what he has done, and is just going to pick up the paper; but at that moment turns round facing the others, and lets it lie.) No, I won't touch it again--never, as long as I live! (To the others.) You must forgive me, but I was reading something that upset me very much. Your brother will tell you all about it in the morning, no doubt. Poof--it is very warm in here! But, of course, that is natural in a sick-room. I don't think he can be coming now. I think, too, that I will go on, so as not to be late for the meeting; there is sure to be a difficulty in getting seats. I will get him to go home with me after the meeting, instead. That will be better, after all. Haakon. I was thinking of going to the meeting. Would you mind if I went with you?--for I do not know the way myself. Evje. You will come with me, Mr. Rejn? (To himself.) That will be splendid--to make my entrance in the company of one of our yeomen farmers! (Aloud.) By all means let us go together! I feel flattered by the opportunity, because I have always maintained that our yeomen are the pick of the nation. Well, then--(to Halvdan) I hope you will soon be feeling better, Mr. Rejn. God bless you! Halvdan (raising himself on his elbow, and looking at him with a smile). Something must have gone amiss with you to-day. Evje. Why do you say that? Halvdan. Because as a rule you appear so composed so aloof from all this squabbling. Evje (impetuously). But, do what I like, I am not allowed to keep aloof from it! I have no greater wish in the world than to do so, I can assure you. Oh, well, your excellent brother--my future son-in-law, as I am proud to call him--he will tell you all about it. Good-bye!--and--and--God bless you! Haakon. Shall I tell your housekeeper to come to you? Halvdan. Oh, no; but you might tell her to come in a little while. Haakon. Good-bye for the present, then! Halvdan. Thank you for coming! Good-bye. (Sinks back on to the sofa. The others go out, HAAKON turning round once at the door.) Halvdan. It is something in the paper that has disturbed his equanimity. What can it be? The same thing that made Harald so gloomy to-day, I wonder? (Gets half up.) It is lying there.--No! What interest have I in all their petty spite now? (Sinks back again.) "Could you bear to read something hateful about yourself to-day?" Haakon asked. Then I suppose there is something about me in it to-day. (Puts his hand over his heart.) My heart doesn't seem to be beating any the faster for my knowing that. (Gets half up.) There it lies! (Sinks back again.) No, I am only trying to tempt myself. All the same, I should like to know how many stations I have passed on my journey to the great City of Peace! Can their malice affect me still? Surely I have passed _that_ station?--It would be worth trying, to see. There it lies! (Takes up a stick that is standing by the sofa.) Surely I can get over there by myself? (Gets up from the sofa with the help of the stick, and smiles.) I have not much strength left. (Takes a few steps.) Scarcely enough to get across the floor. (A few more steps.) To think that I should have--so much vanity--my weak point--. (His breath fails him, but he gets as far as the chair on which EVJE was sitting, and sits down.) One ought to have done with all that before the soul can get quite away from the dust that--. (Begins to rake the paper towards him with his stick.) And here am I, sitting here raking more of it towards me!--No, let the thing lie! I won't soil my wings any more.--Poor Harald! He has to take up the burden now! What a horrible bungle it is, that we should be brought into the world to give each other as much pain as possible! (Decidedly.) Well, I am going to see what legacy of unhappiness I am leaving him! I want to have a vivid impression of the misery I am escaping from. There is a certain comfort even in that. (Bends down and picks up the paper, rests for a moment, and then unfolds the paper.) But this is not to-day's paper; it is dated for to-morrow! How can Evje have got hold of it? Yes, here is the date--Sunday. "Remember that thou keep holy the Sabbath Day!" On that day men's souls should turn to God--and they offer Him _this_! It is after reading _this_ that these fine ladies and gentlemen go to church! (Pushes the paper away from him.) Suppose these "Christians" were to be brought to judgment one day without warning?--Let us think of ourselves and not of others! (Lets his eye rest on the paper.) Does that mean me? (Reads.) "Not yet actually dead, but already canonised by a calculating brother--." (Checks himself.) God forgive them! (Reads on.) "His teachings will no doubt obtain him a paean of praise, but this will be--or, at least, so it is to be hoped--from within the closely locked doors of the state's prisons and houses of correction"--(checks himself a little)--"for that is whither he leads his followers."--Good God, to think that they can say such things!--And yet, they said worse things of _Him_! Peace! (Reads.) "No doubt he talks against Socialism; no doubt he coquets with Christianity; but it is by these very means that he has become so expert a seducer of men's opinions-which was his aim all along." (Puts his hands before his face.) I should not have read it; forgive me! I am too weak still!--Ah! I feel--what is it? (Puts his hands suddenly to his heart, still unconsciously grasping the newspaper in them.) I must get into my room--get to bed! (Gets up with the help of his stick.) If only I can get there! Oh, I feel it coming on!--I must--. (Tries to hurry, but when he is halfway across the floor he stumbles, throws out his hands but finds no support, staggers on for a few steps, and falls full length on the threshold of his bedroom, so that half his length lies within the door and half without. A moment later, the HOUSEKEEPER comes in.) The Housekeeper (not observing that he is not still on the sofa). Won't you go to bed now, sir? You can't stand so much in one day. (Goes to the sofa.) Where is he? Surely he has not tried to walk in alone? (Hurries across to the bedroom door and almost falls over his body. She starts back with a scream.) Where is--? (Catches up the lamp, hurries back, and bends over him; then calls out, screaming:) Help! Help! (Rings the bell wildly. A MAID appears.) Mr. Halvdan is lying here! Heaven knows whether he is dead or alive! Run for the Doctor! Leave the door open behind you, and beg the first man you meet in the street to come up here at once and help me. Tell them it is a matter of life and death! Maid. Yes! The Housekeeper. Hurry! Maid (going out). Yes, yes! The Housekeeper (coming back into the room). Is he alive or dead? I haven't the courage to find out. And both his brothers away! (Cries.) God grant some one comes soon!--Poor man, alone in his death as he was in his life! But what was he doing _there_? Why did he get up from the sofa? (Sees the paper.) Surely that can't be--? (Puts the lamp on the floor and unfolds the paper.) Yes, it is the paper, right enough! Who can have given it him? I can't look at it now; but if it is like the number I read the other day (lets the paper fall, and gets up with the lamp) then I understand everything--and may God requite those that do such things! (The EDITOR rushes in.) The Editor. Is it here? The Housekeeper (holds the lamp to him, then starts back). What do _you_ want here? The Editor. Where am I? A girl came running down the street and told me I must come up here and help some one that was dying. What do you want me to do?--or is it not here? The Housekeeper. And it was _you_ she met? It is the hand of God! The Editor. What are you babbling about? If it is not here, say so at once. The Housekeeper. Yes, it is here. There he lies! The Editor. Then oughtn't we to get him into bed? The Housekeeper. Yes. But do you know who it is you are helping? The Editor (to himself). She is not very polite. (Aloud.) No; but what does that matter? The Housekeeper. This much--that it is you that have killed him. The Editor. I--? She is mad. The Housekeeper. The man lying there is Halvdan Rejn. And he had been reading about himself in your paper.--Come, now, and carry him in. (She goes into the bedroom with the lamp. Her voice is heard from inside the room.) Now, take hold of him and lift him. You can think afterwards. The Editor (stoops to lift the body, but gets up again). I don't think he is dead yet. The Housekeeper. All the more reason to make haste. The Editor (stoops down again, but gets up once more.) Let me take his head. The Housekeeper. Why? The Editor. So that--if he should open his eyes The Housekeeper.--he won't see you. (Comes out of the bedroom). Go in there, then, and take his head. (He goes in.) What was that? The Editor (from inside the room). I slipped. There is something wet here. The Housekeeper. Yes, he has had a hemorrhage. Carefully, now. (They carry him in. The stage remains empty for a moment. Then the EDITOR comes back, wiping his forehead. He walks backwards and forwards, treading on the paper as he goes, but without noticing it.) The Editor. What a horrible thing to happen!--Newspapers are not meant for dying people.--It is not my fault.--Is this blood on my hand? It is! (Wipes it with his handkerchief.) And now it is on my handkerchief! (Throws it away.) No, it has my name on it. (Picks it up again.) No one can say it is my fault. (Sits down, then gets up, wiping his forehead with his handkerchief without noticing what he is doing.) Ah, I hope I haven't put blood on my forehead? I seem to feel it there! (Feels with his hand to see if his brow is wet.) No. (Sits down, then gets up again.) Let me get away from here. (Stops.) To think that I should be the one to come up! that it should just happen to-night that I did not receive my paper, and so went out! It almost seems more than accident. Indeed, I often had a foreboding that it would happen. (Stands opposite the bedroom door.) But is he dead? I think I will go and fetch the Doctor. Oh no, of course the maid has gone for him. He hasn't long to live, anyway; I could see that. (Walks forward, pointing with his finger.) "There goes the man that killed Halvdan Rejn! And his punishment was that he had to lift up his bloodstained body himself." That is what they will say; and they will look at me as if--. (Sits down.) No, let me get away! (Takes a few steps, then stops suddenly.) That article in to-morrow's paper! It is worse than the others! (Pulls out his watch.) Too late--the post has gone! I would have given--. (Checks himself.) I have nothing worth giving. In the morning It will be known all over the town just as everyone is reading my fresh article. There will be a riot; I shall be hunted like a wild beast. What shall I do? I might sneak out of the town? Then they will gloat over me! I won't allow them that pleasure! No, I cannot stay my hand utter a failure; only after a victory. That is the cursed part of it-never, never to be able to end it. Oh, for some one that could end it--end it, end it! Oh, for one day of real peace! Shall _I_ ever get that? (Sits down.) No, no, I must get away! (Gets up.) To-morrow must take care of itself. (Starts.) There is the paper he was reading! (Steps over it.) I will take it away--and burn it. (Takes it up.) I cannot burn it here; some one might come. (Is just going to put it into his pocket, as it is, but takes it out again to fold it better.) A Sunday's paper, apparently! Then it is _not_ to-day's? An old number, I suppose. Then the whole thing is a mistake! (Sighs with relief.) Let me look again! (Opens the paper, tremblingly.) I don't deserve it, but--. (Reads.) Sunday, the--. _To-morrow's_ paper? _Here_? How in all the world did it get here? (Appears horrified.) Here are the articles about Evje! How on earth did they get in? Didn't I send a message? Didn't I write? This on the top of everything else! Are even my printers conspiring against me? Well, even if it ruins me, I shall go on! They shall find out what I can do. How on earth can I be expected to help it if a weak-minded fellow dies, or if my printers are drunk or my manager has delirium tremens! I shall pursue my end through all chances and in spite of all their tricks, and I shall crush them, crush them--I shall--. (Gives way to a paroxysm of rage. At this moment the MAID comes in with the DOCTOR'S ASSISTANT. The MAID rushes into the bedroom. The EDITOR starts up.) Who is that? What do you want? The Doctor's Assistant (coldly). What do _you_ want here? The Editor. I? Oh, I was called up to help the sick man into his bed. The Doctor's Assistant (as before). Ah!--so it was _you_! (A pause.) The Editor. Have you ever seen me before? The Doctor's Assistant. Yes. I have heard you grind your teeth before this. (Goes into the bedroom.) The Editor (after standing for a moment looking after him). They will all look at me to-morrow like that-with those cold eyes. "Every man's hand against him, and his hand against every man;" there can only be one end to that. To-night, the meeting--and Harald Rejn will take them by storm. To-morrow, his brother's death--and my new article in the paper--and, in addition to that, those about Evje, who at present is only angry. And the election in two days! Oh, yes, he will be elected now. So I may as well give it all up at once. I would change places with any wolf that has a lair to hide in. Those cold eyes of his! (Shudders.) That is how every one will look at me to-morrow! They have pierced through my armour! (The DOCTOR'S ASSISTANT comes back, and the EDITOR makes an effort to resume his former confident manner.) The Doctor's Assistant. I don't know whether you will be glad to hear that it is all over. The Editor (under his breath). You brute! The Doctor's Assistant. His old housekeeper does not feel equal to coming here to tell you what his last words were. They were: "Forgive him!" (Goes out.) The Editor (sitting down, then getting up again). No, I mustn't be found here. (Walks about the room on tiptoe, as if he were afraid of waking some one. When he comes opposite to the bedroom door, he turns towards it, stretches out his arms and says:) Give me your forgiveness too! ACT IV (SCENE.--A large and handsomely furnished sitting-room at the EVJE'S. The room is brightly lit and the fire burning. The entrance door is on the right, and beyond it a door leading to the dining-room. INGEBORG is busy taking the covers off the chairs, folding them carefully as she does so. After a little, the bell rings. She goes to open the door, and returns, showing in the DOCTOR.) The Doctor. Oho! Is it to be in here to-night? Ingeborg (who has resumed her work of making the room ready). Yes, sir. The Doctor. Where are they all? Ingeborg. At the meeting, sir. The Doctor. All of them? Ingeborg. Yes, all of them. Miss Gertrud went first-- The Doctor. Yes, I saw her well enough! Ingeborg. And then the master, and a farmer gentleman with him, came in to fetch the mistress. The Doctor (to himself). Something has happened here, then. (Aloud.) Tell me, Ingeborg--has _he_ been here again? You know who I mean. (Coughs in imitation of the EDITOR'S cough.) Ingeborg. Oh, the Editor; no, sir. The Doctor (to himself). I wonder what has happened. (Aloud.) Well, evidently there is to be a festivity here to-night; and, as I see the chairs are getting their covers taken off, I may as well take mine off too. (Takes off his coat and gives it to INGEBORG, who carries it out.) I don't blame Evje for wanting to celebrate Harald's success after a meeting like that! He is not exactly eloquent in the ordinary sense of the word--doesn't bother about his antitheses and climaxes and paradoxes, and all that sort of nonsense; but he is a _man_! He goes bail for what he says, and he says what he likes--ha, ha! And that dear Gertrud, too! Follows him into the hall, and, as there isn't a single seat left there, goes up on to the platform among the committee, and sits there looking at him with those trustful blue eyes of hers, as if there was no one else in the room! And _we_ were all looking at _her_! She helped him more than ten good speakers would have done, I am sure. Her faith in him bred it in others, whether they liked it or no. She is one who would die for her faith! Yes, yes! The man that gets her--. (INGEBORG comes back.) Well! (Rubs his hands together.) Look here, Ingeborg. (Very politely.) Do you know what is meant by the Rights of Man? Ingeborg (going on with her work). No, sir. Something we have earned, I suppose. The Doctor. Yes, you earn them every day. Ingeborg. Our meals, perhaps? The Doctor (laughing). No, it isn't something to eat, unfortunately. (Politely.) Do you ever read papers, Ingeborg? Ingeborg. Papers? Oh, you mean the price-lists they leave at the kitchen door. Yes, sir; every day, before we go to market, I-- The Doctor. No, I don't mean papers of that sort. I mean-- Ingeborg. Oh, you mean the newspaper I take in to master's room every morning. No, Sir, I don't read that. I am told there are such horrors in it. The Doctor. Quite so. Don't you care to read about horrors, then? Ingeborg. Oh, we poor folk see enough of them in our everyday lives, without reading about them!--But perhaps the gentry enjoy it. The Doctor. You are a very wise woman. Let me tell you, though, that there is a fight going on, about--oh, well, never mind what it is about. And the Editor and Mr. Rejn, who both come to this house, are the two chief fighters. Don't you want to know what they are fighting about? Ingeborg (going on unconcernedly with her work). Oh, so they are fighting, are they? No, I don't care the least bit, sir! The Doctor (to himself). Ha, ha--the difference between Ingeborg and me is that I am interested in the fight merely as a student of human nature, and she is not interested in it at all. I wonder which is farthest from any genuine belief in politics?--from our "duty as a citizen," as they call it? (To INGEBORG.) Ingeborg, do you know what your "duty as a citizen" means? Ingeborg. My "duty as a citizen"? That mean; paying fines, doesn't it, sir? The Doctor. Yes; and a very heavy fine, into the bargain! Ingeborg. The master was fined because the pavement was not swept. John was ill. The Doctor. Quite right, that was one of his duties as a citizen.--Tell me, Ingeborg, are they expecting a lot of people here to-night? Ingeborg. No, sir, I have only laid table for quite a few. The Doctor. And what are they going to have? Ingeborg. Oh, one or two dishes and one or two sorts of wine--. The Doctor. Aha! (A ring is heard at the bell. INGEBORG goes to the door.) There they are! Now we shall have a fine time! Ingeborg (coming back with a letter). It is a note for you, sir. The Doctor. Oh, bother I Ingeborg. The man who brought it was not sure whether you would be at the meeting or here. The Doctor. How could he know--? (Putting on his glasses.) Oh, from my assistant--that is quite another thing. Of course he wants my help or my advice. Well, he shan't have it! I have run about quite enough to-day. Tell the messenger that I haven't time! I have my Duties as a Citizen to attend to! (Calls after her.) And my Manhood's Rights too! (Opens the envelope.) No, I won't read it; if I do, the matter will worry me all the evening. I know what I am. (Puts the note in his pocket.) I mean to enjoy this evening! (Suddenly.) I wonder how our friend the Editor is enjoying this evening! Was he at the meeting, I wonder? A remarkable personality--but malignity itself! Lion-hearted, though! He would fight till the last drop of his blood! But what is it, really, that he is fighting for? That question has always interested me, for I can't make it out. (To INGEBORG, who has comeback.) Well? Ingeborg. The messenger has gone.--Yes, sir, I told him everything you told me to. The Doctor. Of course. You would! Why the deuce does any one pay any attention to what I say! (The bell rings.) Here they are at last! Now we shall have a delightful evening! (EVJE and MRS. EVJE come in.) I am first, you see! Evje and Mrs. Evje. Were you at the meeting, too? The Doctor. Where else should I be? Evje. Did you see me? Mrs. Evje. There were so many people there, dear. Evje. But I was standing on a seat. Mrs. Evje. Yes, he was standing on a seat! The Doctor. There were plenty of people doing that. Evje. I wanted to be seen!--There _have_ been goings on here to-day, my friend! Mrs. Evje. You will never guess what has happened! The Doctor. Anyway I can see that something has happened. Evje and Mrs. Evje. Oh--! The Doctor. What is it, then? Evje. Those articles will be in to-morrow's paper. The Doctor. In the paper?--Yes, I didn't find him. Evje. But I found him! The Doctor (impatiently). Well? Evje. I will tell you all about it another time. But I have read them-- Mrs. Evje. And he has told me all about them! The Doctor. Are they very bad? Evje. Oh--oh! Mrs. Evje. Oh--oh--oh! The Doctor (with a look of pleased curiosity.) As bad as all that? Evje and Mrs. Evje. Oh--oh--oh--oh! The Doctor. And _that_ was why you went to the meeting! Evje. Of course--tit for tat! It was my wife's idea. Mrs. Evje. It was the obvious thing to do, dear. Evje. Our whole family at the meeting!--So that all the town should know that it was nothing but the meanest political persecution because I had joined my son-in-law's party. Mrs. Evje. We are party people now, you know! Evje. Do you know, there is something exciting about being mixed up with such things--something invigorating, something-- The Doctor (stepping back). Are _you_ bitten with it, too? Evje. Yes, if I can't be left in peace, I shall become a party man. The Doctor (enthusiastically). Did you see Gertrud? Evje and Mrs. Evje (with emotion). Our Gertrud! Yes, indeed we did! The Doctor. Did you see her coming in with him! Evje and Mrs. Evje (as before). Yes, we saw her coming in with him! The Doctor. I suppose you did not know she was going? Evje and Mrs. Evje. Oh, yes! Mrs. Evje. She had said she would go with us-- Evje. But when we went to fetch her, the bird had flown! The Doctor. How pretty she looked, too! All the men were looking at her. And how she looked at him! Mrs. Evje. It made me want to cry. I had quite a job to prevent myself. Evje. You need not have minded, dear! God has given us great happiness. Her faith in him and her love shone to from her eyes that it went to my heart. I felt quite upset! (Wipes his eyes.) The Doctor. And what about _him_--eh? I don't fancy any one will think about stopping his career. We have been a pack of fools. Evje. That we have! The Doctor. He is not exactly eloquent, but-- Evje. That is precisely what I was saying to my wife! He is not exactly eloquent, but he is-- The Doctor.--a man! Evje. A man! My very words, weren't they, my dear? Mrs. Evje. Yes.--And I say he is so strong a man that he can afford to be tender-hearted. For he certainly has been that. Evje. Yes, he has been that! The Doctor (laughing). In spite of his strength! Evje. Oh, you may make the most of your--. Aha! (Loud ringing at the bell is heard.) Here they are! Mrs. Evje. Let us go and meet them! The Doctor. No; look here--let us wait for them at the other side of the room, so that they may make a triumphal progress up to us! Evje and Mrs. Evje, Yes! (They go to the opposite end of the room, while HARALD comes in rather quickly, with GERTRUD on his arm. As they cross the room, the others cry out: "Bravo! Bravo!" and clap their hands.) Gertrud (still holding to HARALD's arm). And he is my man! My man! (Throws her arms round his neck, crying with happiness, and kisses him; then does the same to her mother, and then to her father, to whom she whispers: Thank you!) The Doctor. Oh--me too! Gertrud (after a moment's hesitation). Yes--you too! (The DOCTOR helps her to take off her cloak, and talks to her, whispering and laughing.) Harald (shaking EVJE's hand). Good evening! Evje. Forgive me! Harald. With all my heart! Mrs. Evje. And now everything is all right! Harald. For good! Evje and Mrs. Evje. For good! Harald. And, thank you for coming to the meeting. Evje. It was no more than our duty! Look here--did you see me? Harald. The whole time! But, tell me, was it a delusion, or was it my brother Haakon that was standing on the floor beside you, rather in the shadow? Evje and Mrs. Evje. It _was_ he! Evje. I fetched him from your brother Halvdan's. Harald. I am so glad! It must have pleased Haakon. Gertrud and I at first thought of going in to see Halvdan before we came on here; but we saw all his lights were out. He must be asleep. Evje. I can give you news of him. He is all right. Harald. And Haakon? Evje. Very well, too. A fine fellow! I wanted him to come home with us now; but he said he was tired after his journey. Mrs. Evje (to INGEBORG, who has come in from the dining room). Is it ready? Ingeborg. Yes, ma'am. Mrs. Evje. Then come along. (INGEBORG opens the dining-room door.) The Doctor and Evje. Yes, come along! The Doctor. But we must go ceremoniously! Let us make a little festivity of it to-night! You must head the procession, Evje--and then the two young people Gertrud (taking HARALD's arm). Yes! The Doctor. And Mrs. Evje and I will bring up the rear! (Offers her his arm.) Evje. Forward!(The bell rings. He stops.) Who can it be--as late as this? The Doctor. Probably some friends on their way back from the meeting. Mrs. Evje. We must wait a moment!(To INGEBORG, who is going to open the door.)Put a leaf in the table, and lay places for as many as come. Ingeborg. Yes, ma'am. (The bell rings again, as she goes to open the door.) The Doctor. They are impatient! So much the better--it shows they are in a good humour after the meeting! (A knock is heard at the door.) All. Come in!(The EDITOR comes in, with no overcoat on, but wearing his hat, which he forgets to take of till he is well into the room. He goes straight up to EVJE, who has crossed over to the left-hand side of the room.) All (when they see him in the doorway). You! (GERTRUD clings closer to HARALD.) The Editor. I wanted once more, as in the old days, not to go to bed without--this time it is not a question of thanking you for the happy time we have had together but without begging your pardon!(He speaks quietly, but with suppressed emotion.)There has been some unfortunate misunderstanding. Those articles have been printed, in spite of my express instructions to the contrary--I do not know how. Evje. I have read them. The Editor. You have read them? Evje. Yes, the copy of the paper that was meant for you came into my hands. The Editor. So that was it!--Forgive me, old friend! Won't you give me your hand? Mrs. Evje (coming forward). That he shall never do! The Editor (glancing over his shoulder at her). Let no one come between us at a moment like this! You don't know--. A hundred times in my life I would have done what I am doing now, had I not been afraid that people would call it affectation on my part and repulse me. Don't _you_ do that!--least of all now! Give me your hand, Evje! I beg you, in the sight and hearing of you all--. (EVJE seems to vacillate.) Mrs. Evje. No, you shan't!--not while he has anything to do with a newspaper. Otherwise it will all begin over again to-morrow. He is not his own master, you know. The Editor. I have done with it all. Mrs. Evje. Oh, you have said that so often! Nobody believes it. No; when a man can push political hatred so far as to write about an old friend, in whose house he has been a daily guest, as if he were a criminal--and all because he doesn't like his son-in-law, or his servant--one doesn't shake hands with him the very day his attacks appear in the paper. The Editor (who, all the tinge, has kept his back turned to MRS. EVJE, and has not looked at her). Evje, you are a good-hearted fellow, I know. Don't listen to what others say, now. This is a very bitter hour for me. You would be doing a good deed! Give me your hand--or a word! I am in such a state now that I must have visible signs of _some one's_ forgiveness, or I shall--! Mrs. Evje (emphatically). Yes, a little repentance will do you good! But it will do you no good if you obtain forgiveness easily! You want to learn, just for once, what it is to be wounded at heart. You are only accustomed to deal with people whom you can flog one day and have at your feet--either from fear or from vanity--the next. And have we--God forgive us!--ever thought seriously the worse of you for it? No; because we never understood what it was till we were hit by it ourselves. But that is all the more reason why we should do our duty now! Hatred shall be met with hatred! The Doctor (at the back of the room, to GERTRUD and HARALD). She is her father's daughter, after all, when it comes to the point! The Editor (turns upon MRS. EVJE, with his fist clenched, but restrains himself from answering her). Then you won't shake hands, Evje? Not a word of forgiveness? Evje. I think my wife is right. The Editor (controlling himself with difficulty). You are a weak man, I know-- Evje. What do you mean? The Editor.--but do not be weak this time! If you knew everything, you would know you _must_ not refuse me what I ask. There are others concerned--and for that reason-- The Doctor. Let us go! Mrs. Evje. No, stay! He shall not have his way again. The Editor. Well, of all--! It is certainly true that those who are hardest on sinners are those who have never been tempted themselves--and the most merciless creature in the world is an injured woman. Mrs. Evje. Now he is coming out in his true colours! The Doctor (not without glee). Yes, that he is! The Editor (controlling himself once more). Evje--you, who know me, know what it must cost me to do this--and you can form some idea of the need I am in. I have never-- Evje. I believe you; but I never can feel sure what your next move will be. You have so many. The Editor. My next move is to have done with it all, as sure as-- Mrs. Evje. Don't believe him! A man who can ask for your sympathy one moment and abuse you the next is not fit to promise anything--and certainly not fit to be forgiven, either. The Editor (with an outburst of passion). Then may everything evil overtake me if I ever ask you or any one else for sympathy again! You have succeeded in teaching me that I can do without it! I can rise above your cowardly cruelty. (To EVJE.) You are a miserable, weak creature--and have always been, for all your apparent good-natured shrewdness! (To MRS. EVJE.) And as for you, who have often laughed so heartily at my so-called malice, and now all at once have become so severely virtuous--why, you are both like part-proprietors of my paper! You have taken all the profit you could from me, as long as it served your purpose--I have seen that for a long time! And all my pretended friends are like you--secret holders of shares in me, so as to secure their own safety and the persecution of others!--every bit as guilty as I am, only more prudent, more timid, more cowardly--! Evje. Once more--leave this house, which you have outraged! Mrs. Evje. And how dare you set foot in here again? The Editor. No, I am not going until all the anger that is in my heart has turned into fear in yours! Because now I will _not_ have done with it all! No--it is just through _his_ death that respect for me will revive--it will be like a rampart of bayonets round me! "There goes one who can kill a man with a word, if he likes!" _That_ will make them treat me respectfully! Harald and the Doctor. What does he mean? The Editor (as he hears HARALD'S voice). And you--you mountebank, who can stand up in public and seek applause before your brother's corpse is cold--don't come talking rant to me! You are more contemptible than I am! I couldn't have done that; I couldn't stand there, as you are doing now, impatient to get to your champagne and pretty speeches!--Oh, how I despise all such lying and heartlessness! (They all look at him and at each other with a questioning expression.) Harald. Is my brother dead? Mrs. Evje. Is his brother dead? Gertrud. Good God, is Halvdan dead? Evje. Is he dead? Impossible! The Doctor. Is Rejn dead--and I--? Evje. I saw him only a couple of hours ago, looking quite well. The Editor (in a broken voice). Didn't you know? All (except the DOCTOR). No! The Doctor. Ah, that letter, that letter! (Looks in his pocket for it and his glasses.) The Editor. I am the wretchedest man alive! (Sinks into a chair.) The Doctor. I had a letter from my assistant, but I have not read it! Mrs. Evje. Read it, read it! The Doctor (reading). "I am writing in great haste. As I expect you will be going to your old friends' after the meeting, and will meet Harald Rejn there, the task will probably fall to you of telling him--(the EDITOR gets up to go, but stands still)--that Halvdan Rejn died about eight o'clock of a fresh attack of hemorrhage! (HARALD leaves GERTRUD'S side and comes forward, with a cry. The EDITOR steadies himself by holding on to the table.) No one was with him; he was found lying across the threshold of his bedroom. A copy of the newspaper was lying on the floor behind him." (HARALD, with a groan, advance threateningly towards the EDITOR.) Gertrud. Harald, my ring!--my ring! (HARALD Stops, collects himself, buries his face in his hands and bursts into uncontrollable tears. GERTRUD puts her arms round him and holds him folded in them.) The Doctor (laying a hand on HARALD's arm). "The housekeeper told me he had only spoken two words, and they were 'Forgive him!'" (HARALD bursts into tears.) The Doctor (after waiting for a little). "Apparently chance--or perhaps something else--decreed that the maid who ran for help, should meet the very man, who hats caused the tragedy, and that it should be _he_ who helped the housekeeper to lay him on his deathbed." (All look at the EDITOR.) Evje. That was why he came! (A pause.) Gertrud. Harald! (HARALD, who has turned away from her to struggle with his emotion, does not turn round.) If _he_ could forgive-- The Editor (with a gesture of refusal). No! Gertrud (quietly, to the EDITOR). If you want to deserve it, make an end of all this! The Editor. It is all at an end! (To MRS. EVJE.) You were right. I knew it myself, too. My armour is pierces pierced through. A child might conquer me now--and this child has done so; for she has begged for mercy for me, and no one has ever done that before. (Puts his hand over his eyes, turns away, and goes out. As he is going out the bell rings. A moment later, INGEBORG Shows in HAAKON REJN.) Gertrud (who has put her arms round HARALD, whispers). Who is it? Harald. My brother. (Goes to meet HAAKON and throws himself into his arms.) You had a talk with him this afternoon, then? Haakon. Yes. Mrs. Evje. Let us all go to him. Evje and Gertrud. Yes. Mrs. Evje (to INGEBORG). Bring in our cloaks and hats again, and afterwards clear the table. (INGEBORG does so.) DRAMATIS PERSONAE HENNING TJAELDE, merchant and brewer. MRS. TJAELDE, his wife. VALBORG and SIGNE, their daughters. LIEUTENANT HAMAR, engaged to Signe. SANNAES, Tjaelde's confidential clerk. JAKOSSEN, manager of Tjaelde's brewery. BERENT, a lawyer. PRAM, a custom-house official. An Agent. The VICAR. LIND, a guest. FINNE, a guest. RING, a guest. HOLM, a guest. KNUTZON, a guest. KNUDSEN, a guest. FALBE, a guest. ACT I (SCENE.--A sitting-room in the TJAELDES' house, opening on a verandah that is decorated with flowers. It is a hot summer's day. There is a view of the sea beyond the verandah, and boats are visible among the islands that fringe the coast. A good-sized yacht, with sails spread, is lying close up under the verandah on the right. The room is luxuriously furnished and full of flowers. There are two French windows in the left-hand wall; two doors in the right-hand. A table in the middle of the room; arm-chairs and rocking-chairs scattered about. A sofa in the foreground on the right. LIEUTENANT HAMAR is lying on the sofa, and SIGNE sitting in a rocking-chair.) Hamar. What shall we do with ourselves to-day? Signe (rocking herself). Hm! (A pause.) Hamar. That was a delicious sail we had last night. (Yawns.) But I am sleepy to-day. Shall we go for a ride? Signe. Hm! (A pause.) Hamar. I am too hot on this sofa. I think I will move. (Gets up. SIGNE begins to hum an air as she rocks herself.) Play me something, Signe! Signe (singing her words to the air she has been humming). The piano is out of tune. Hamar. Read to me, then! Signe (as before, looking out of the window). They are swimming the horses. They are swimming the horses. They are swimming the horses. Hamar. I think I will go and have a swim too. Or perhaps I will wait till nearer lunch-time. Signe (as before). So as to have a better appetite--appetite--appetite. (MRS. TJAELDE comes in from the right, walking slowly.) Hamar. You look very thoughtful! Mrs. Tjaelde. Yes, I don't know what to order. Signe (as before). For dinner, I suppose you mean? Mrs. Tjaelde. Yes. Hamar. Do you expect any one? Mrs. Tjaelde. Yes, your father writes to me that Mr. Finne is coming. Signe (speaking). The most tiresome person possible, of course. Mrs. Tjaelde. How would boiled salmon and roast chicken do? Signe. We had that the other day. Mrs. Tjaelde. (With a sigh). There is nothing that we didn't. There is so little choice in the market just now. Signe. Then we ought to send to town. Mrs. Tjaelde. Oh, these meals, these meals! Hamar (yawning). They are the best thing in life, anyway. Signe. To eat, yes--but not to cook; I never will cook a dinner. Mrs. Tjaelde (sitting down at the table). One could put up with the cooking. It's the having always to think of something fresh! Hamar. Why don't you get a chef from one of the hotels, as I have so often advised you? Mrs. Tjaelde. Oh, we have tried that, but he was more trouble than it was worth. Hamar. Yes, because he had no invention. Get a French chef! Mrs. Tjaelde. Yes, and have to be always beside him to interpret!--But I am no nearer this dinner. And lately I have been finding such difficulty in getting about. Hamar. I have never in my life heard so much talk about meals as I have in this house. Mrs. Tjaelde. You see, you have never been in a prosperous business-man's house before. Our friends are mostly business-men, of course--and most of them have no greater pleasures than those of the table. Signe. That's true. Mrs. Tjaelde. Are you wearing _that_ dress to-day? Signe. Yes. Mrs. Tjaelde. You have worn a different one every day. Signe. Well, if Hamar is tired of both the blue one and the grey one, what can I do? Hamar. And I don't like this one any better than the others. Signe. Indeed!--Then I really think you had better order me one yourself. Hamar. Come to town with me, and I will! Signe. Yes, mother--Hamar and I have made up our minds that we must go back to town. [Note: There would be nothing contrary to Norwegian ideas of propriety in Signe's proposal. In Norway an engaged couple could travel alone; and the fiancee would go to stay in the house of her future husband's relations.] Mrs. Tjaelde. But you were there only a fortnight ago! Hamar. And it is exactly a fortnight too long since we were there! Mrs. Tjaelde. (thoughtfully). Now, what _can_ I order for dinner? (VALBORG comes into sight on the verandah.) Signe (turning round and seeing VALBORG). Enter Her Highness! Hamar (turning round). Carrying a bouquet! Oho! I have seen it before! Signe. Have you? Did _you_ give it her? Hamar. No; I was coming through the garden--and saw it on the table in Valborg's summerhouse. Is it your birthday, Valborg? Valborg. No. Hamar. I thought not. Perhaps there is some other festivity to-day? Valborg. No. (SIGNE suddenly bursts out laughing.) Hamar. Why do you laugh? Signe. Because I understand! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Hamar. What do you understand? Signe. Whose hands it is that have decked the altar! Ha, ha, ha! Hamar. I suppose you think they were mine? Signe. No, they were redder hands than yours! Ha, ha, ha, ha! (VALBORG throws the bouquet down.) Oh, dear me, it doesn't do to laugh so much in this heat. But it is delightful! To think he should have hit upon that idea! Ha, ha, ha! Hamar (laughing). Do you mean--? Signe (laughing). Yes! You must know that Valborg-- Valborg. Signe! Signe.--who has sent so many distinguished suitors about their business, cannot escape from the attentions of a certain red pair of hands--ha, ha, ha, ha! Hamar. Do you mean Sannaes? Signe. Yes! (Points out of the window.) There is the culprit! He is waiting, Valborg, for you to come, in maiden meditation, with the bouquet in your hands--as you came just now-- Mrs. Tjaelde. (getting up). No, it is your father he is waiting for. Ah, he sees him now. (Goes out by the verandah.) Signe. Yes, it really is father--riding a bay horse! Hamar (getting up). On a bay horse! Let us go and say "how do you do" to the bay horse! Signe. N--o, no! Hamar. You won't come and say "how do you do" to the bay horse? A cavalry officer's wife must love horses next best to her husband. Signe. And he his wife next best to his horses. Hamar. What? Are you jealous of a horse? Signe. Oh, I know very well you have never been so fond of me as you are of horses. Hamar. Come along! (Pulls her up out of her chair.) Signe. But I don't feel the least interested in the bay horse. Hamar. Very well, then, I will go alone! Signe. No, I will come. Hamar (to VALBORG). Won't you come and welcome the bay horse too? Valborg. No, but I will go and welcome my father! Signe (looking back, as she goes). Yes, of course--father as well. (She and HAMAR go out.) (VALBORG goes to the farthest window and stands looking out of it. Her dress is the same colour as the long curtain, and a piece of statuary and some flowers conceal her from any one entering the room. SANNAES comes in, carrying a small saddle-bag and a cloak, which he puts down on a chair behind the door. As he turns round he sees the bouquet on the door.) Sannaes. There it is! Has she dropped it by accident, or did she throw it down? Never mind--she has had it in her hands. (Picks it up, kisses it, and is going to take it away.) Valborg (coming forward). Leave it alone! Sannaes (dropping the bouquet). You here, Miss Valborg--? I didn't see you-- Valborg. But I can see what you are after. How dare you presume to think of persecuting me with your flowers and your--your red hands? (He puts his hands behind his back.) How dare you make me a laughing-stock to every one in the house, and I suppose to every one in the town? Sannaes. I--I--I-- Valborg. And what about me? Don't you think I deserve a little consideration? You will be turned out of the house before long, if you do not take care--! Now be quick and get away before the others come in. (SANNAES turns away, holding his hands in front of him, and goes out by the verandah to the right. At the same moment TJAELDE is seen coming at the other end of the verandah, followed by HAMAR and SIGNE.) Tjaelde. Yes, it is a fine horse. Hamar. Fine? I don't believe there is its equal in the country. Tjaelde. I dare say. Did you notice that he hadn't turned a hair? Hamar. What glorious lungs! And such a beauty, too--his head, his legs, his neck--! I never saw such a beauty! Tjaelde. Yes, he is a handsome beast. (Looks out of the verandah at the yacht.) Have you been out for a sail? Hamar. I was sailing among the islands last night, and came back this morning with the fishing-boats--a delightful sail! Tjaelde. I wish I had time to do that. Hamar. But surely it is only imagination on your part, to think that you never have time? Tjaelde. Oh, well, perhaps I have time but not inclination. Signe. And how do things stand where you have been? Tjaelde. Badly. Valborg (coming forward). Welcome home, father! Tjaelde. Thank you, dear! Hamar. Is it not possible to save anything? Tjaelde. Not at present; that is why I took the horse. Hamar. Then the bay horse is the only thing you get out of the smash? Tjaelde. Do you know that I might say that horse has cost me three or four thousand pounds? Hamar. Well, that is its only defect, anyway! Still, if the worst comes to the worst, and you can afford it--the horse is priceless! (TJAELDE turns away, puts down his hat and coat and takes off his gloves.) Signe. It is beautiful to see your enthusiasm when you talk about horses. I rather think it is the only enthusiasm you have. Hamar. Yes, if I were not a cavalry officer I should like to be a horse! Signe. Thank you! And what should I be? Valborg. "Oh, were I but the saddle on thy back! Oh, were I but the whip about thy loins!" Hamar. "Oh, were I but the flowers in thy--." No, "hand" doesn't rhyme! Tjaelde. (coming forward, meets MRS. TJAELDE, who has come in from the right.) Well, my dear, how are you? Mrs. Tjaelde. Oh, I find it more and more difficult to get about. Tjaelde. There is always something the matter with you, my dear! Can I have something to eat? Mrs. Tjaelde. Yes, it has been standing waiting for you. Here it comes. (A maid brings in a tray which she lays on the table.) Tjaelde. Good! Mrs. Tjaelde. Will you have a cup of tea? Tjaelde. No, thank you. Mrs. Tjaelde. (sitting down beside him and pouring him out a glass of wine). And how have things gone with the Moellers? Tjaelde. Badly. I told you so already. Mrs. Tjaelde. I didn't hear you. Valborg. I had a letter to-day from Nanna Moeller. She tells me all about it--how none of the family knew anything about it till the officers of the courts came. Tjaelde. Yes, there must have been a dreadful scene. Mrs. Tjaelde. Did he tell you anything about it? Tjaelde (as he eats). I didn't speak to him. Mrs. Tjaelde. My dear! Why, you are old friends! Tjaelde. Bah! Old friends! He sat looking as if he had taken leave of his senses. Besides, I have had enough of that family. I didn't go there to hear them talk about their troubles. Signe. I suppose it was all very sad? Tjaelde (still eating). Shocking! Mrs. Tjaelde. What will they have to live on? Tjaelde. What is allowed them by their creditors, of course. Signe. But all the things they had? Tjaelde. Sold. Signe. All those pretty things--their furniture, their carriages, their--? Tjaelde. All sold. Hamar. And his watch? It is the most beautiful watch I have ever seen--next to yours. Tjaelde. It had to go, of course, being jewellery. Give me some wine; I am hot and thirsty. Signe. Poor things! Mrs. Tjaelde. Where are they going to live now? Tjaelde. In the house of one of the skippers of what was their fleet. Two small rooms and a kitchen. Signe. Two small rooms and a kitchen! (A pause.) Mrs. Tjaelde. What do they intend to do? Tjaelde. There was a subscription started to enable Mrs. Moeller to get the job of catering for the Club. Mrs. Tjaelde. Is the poor woman going to have more cooking to do! Signe. Did they send no messages to us? Tjaelde. Of course they did; but I didn't pay any attention to them. Hamar (who has been standing on the verandah). But Moeller--what did he say? What did he do? Tjaelde. I don't know, I tell you. Valborg (who has been walking up and down the room during the preceding conversation). He has said and done quite enough already. Tjaelde (who has at last finished eating and drinking, is struck by her words). What do you mean by that, Valborg? Valborg. That if I were his daughter I would never forgive him. Mrs. Tjaelde. My dear Valborg, don't say such things! Valborg. I mean it! A man who would bring such shame and misery upon his family does not deserve any mercy from them. Mrs. Tjaelde. We are all in need of mercy. Valborg. In one sense, yes. But what I mean is that I could never give him my respect or my affection again. He would have wronged me too cruelly. Tjaelde (getting up). Wronged you? Mrs. Tjaelde. Have you finished already, dear? Tjaelde. Yes. Mrs. Tjaelde. No more wine? Tjaelde. I said I had finished. Wronged you? How? Valborg. Well, I cannot imagine how one could be more cruelly wronged than to be allowed to assume a position that was nothing but a lie, to live up to means that had no real existence but were merely a sham--one's clothes a lie, one's very existence a lie! Suppose I were the sort of girl that found a certain delight in making use of her position as a rich man's daughter--in using it to the fullest possible extent; well, when I discovered that all that my father had given me was stolen-that all he had made me believe in was a lie--I am sure that then my anger and my shame would be beyond all bounds! Mrs. Tjaelde. My child, you have never been tried. You don't know how such things may happen. You don't really know what you are saying! Hamar. Well it might do Moeller good if he heard what she says! Valborg. He has heard it. His daughter said that to him. Mrs. Tjaelde. His own daughter! Child, child, is that what you write to each other about? God forgive you both! Valborg. Oh, He will forgive us, because we speak the truth. Mrs. Tialde. Child, child! Tjaelde. You evidently don't understand what business is--success one day and failure the next. Valborg. No one will ever persuade me that business is a lottery. Tjaelde. No, a sound business is not. Valborg. Exactly. It is the unsound sort that I condemn. Tjaelde. Still, even the soundest have their anxious moments. Valborg. If the anxious moments really foreshadow a crisis, no man of honour would keep his family o: his creditors in ignorance of the fact. My God, how Mr. Moeller has deceived his! Signe. Valborg is always talking about business! Valborg. Yes, it has had an attraction for me ever since I was a child. I am not ashamed of that. Signe. You think you know all about it, anyway. Valborg. Oh, no; but you can easily get to know a little about anything you are fond of. Hamar. And one would need no great knowledge of business to condemn the way Moeller went on. It was obvious to every one. And the way his family went on, too! Who went the pace as much as the Moellers? Think of his daughter's toilettes! Valborg. His daughter is my best friend. I don't want to hear her abused. Hamar. Your Highness will admit that it is possible to be the daughter of a _very_ rich man without being as proud and as vain as--as the lady I am not allowed to mention! Valborg. Nanna is neither proud nor vain. She is absolutely genuine. She had the aptitude for being exactly what she thought she was--a rich man's daughter. Hamar. Has she the "aptitude" for being a bankrupt's daughter now? Valborg. Certainly. She has sold all her trinkets, her dresses--every single thing she had. What she wears, she has either paid for herself or obtained by promising future payment. Hamar. May I ask if she kept her stockings? Valborg. She sent everything to a sale. Hamar. If I had known that I would certainly have attended it! Valborg. Yes, I daresay there was plenty to make fun of, and plenty of idle loafers, too, who were not ashamed to do so. Mrs. Tjaelde. Children, children! Hamar. May I ask if Miss Nanna sent her own idleness to the sale with her other effects?--because I have never known any one with a finer supply of it! Valborg. She never thought she would need to work. Tjaelde (coming forward to VALBORG). To take up the thread of what we were saying: you don't understand what a business-man's hope is from one day to the other--always a renewed hope. That fact does not make him a swindler. He may be unduly sanguine, perhaps--a poet, if you like, who lives in a world of dreams--or he may be a real genius, who sees land ahead when no one else suspects it. Valborg. I don't think I misunderstand the real state of affairs. But perhaps you do, father. Because is not what you call hope, poetry, genius, merely speculating with what belongs to others, when a man knows that he owes more than he has got? Tjaelde. It may be very difficult to be certain even whether he does that or not. Valborg. Really? I should have thought his books would tell him-- Tjaelde. About his assets and his liabilities, certainly. But values are fluctuating things; and he may always have in hand some venture which, though it cannot be specified, may alter the whole situation. Valborg. If he undeniably owes more than he possesses, any venture he undertakes must be a speculation with other people's money. Tjaelde. Well--perhaps that is so; but that does not mean that he steals the money--he only uses it in trust for them. Valborg. Entrusted to him on the false supposition that he is solvent. Tjaelde. But possibly that money may save the whole situation. Valborg. That does not alter the fact that he has got the use of it by a lie. Tjaelde. You use very harsh terms. (MRS. TJAELDE has once or twice been making signs to VALBORG, which the latter sees but pays no attention to.) Valborg. In that case the lie consists in the concealment. Tjaelde. But what do you want him to do? To lay all his cards on the table, and so ruin both himself and the others? Valborg. Yes, he ought to take every one concerned into his confidence. Tjaelde. Bah! In that case we should see a thousand failures every year, and fortunes lost one after the other everywhere! No, you have a level head, Valborg, but your ideas are narrow. Look here, where are the newspapers? (SIGNE, who has been talking confidentially to HAMAR on the verandah, comes forward.) Signe. I took them down to your office. I did not know you meant to stay in here. Tjaelde. Oh, bother the office! Please fetch them for me. (SIGNE goes out, followed by Hamar.) Mrs. Tjaelde (in an undertone to VALBORG). Why will you never listen to your mother, Valborg? (VALBORG goes out to the verandah; leans on the edge of it, with her head on her hands, and looks out.) Tjaelde. I think I will change my coat. Oh no, I will wait till dinner-time. Mrs. Tjaelde. Dinner! And here I am still sitting here! Tjaelde. Are we expecting any one? Mrs. Tjaelde. Yes, have you forgotten? Tjaelde. Of course, yes. Mrs. Tjaelde (going out). What on earth am I to order? (TJAELDE comes forward as soon as he is alone, sits down on a chair with a weary, harassed expression, and buries his face in his hands with a sigh. SIGNE and HAMAR come back, she carrying some newspapers. HAMAR is going out to the verandah again, but SIGNE pulls him back.) Signe. Here you are, father. Here are-- Tjaelde. What? Who? Signe (astonished). The newspapers. Tjaelde. Ah, yes. Give them to me.(Opens them hurriedly. They are mostly foreign papers, in which he scans the money articles one after another.) Signe (after a whispered conversation with HAMAR). Father! Tjaelde (without looking up from the papers).Well? (To himself, gloomily.) Down again, always down! Signe. Hamar and I want so much to go into town again to Aunt Ulla's. Tjaelde. But you know you were there only a fortnight ago. I received your bills yesterday. Have you seen them? Signe. No need for that, father, if _you_ have seen them! Why do you sigh? Tjaelde. Oh--because I see that stocks keep falling. Signe. Pooh! Why should you bother about that? Now you are sighing again. I am sure you know how horrid it is for those you love not to have what they want. You won't be so unkind to us, father? Tjaelde. No, my child, it can't be done. Signe. Why? Tjaelde. Because--because--well, because now that it is summer time so many people will be coming here whom we shall have to entertain. Signe. But entertaining people is the most tiresome thing I know, and Hamar agrees with me. Tjaelde. Don't you think I have to do tiresome things sometimes, my girl? Signe. Father dear, why are you talking so solemnly and ceremoniously? It sounds quite funny from you! Tjaelde. Seriously, my child, it is by no means an unimportant matter for a big business house like ours, with such a wide-spread connection, that people coming here from all quarters should find themselves hospitably received. You might do that much for me. Signe. Hamar and I will never have a moment alone at that rate. Tjaelde. I think you mostly squabble when you are alone. Signe. Squabble? That is a very ugly word, father. Tjaelde. Besides, you would be no more alone if you were in town. Signe. Oh, but it is quite different there! Tjaelde. So I should think--from the way you throw your money about! Signe (laughing). Throw our money about! What else have we to do? Isn't that what we are for? Daddy, listen--dear old dad-- Tjaelde. No, dear--no. Signe. You have never been so horrid to me before. Hamar (who has been making signs to her to stop, whispers). Can't you be quiet! Don't you see he is put out about something? Signe (whispering). Well, you might have backed me up a little. Hamar (as before). No, I am a bit wiser than you. Signe (as before). You have been so odd lately. I am sure I don't know what you want? Hamar (as before). Oh, well, it doesn't matter now--because I am going to town alone. Signe (as before). What are you going to do? Hamar (going). I am going to town alone. I am sick of this! Signe (following him). Just you try! (Both go out by the verandah, to the right. TJAELDE lets the newspapers fall out of his hands with a heavy sigh.) Valborg (looking in from the verandah). Father! (TJAELDE starts.) There goes Mr. Berent, the lawyer from Christiania. Tjaelde (getting up). Berent? Where? On the wharf? Valborg. Yes. (Comes back into the room. TJAELDE looks out of the window.) The reason I told you was because I saw him yesterday at the timber-yard, and a little while before that, at the brewery and at the works. Tjaelde (to himself). What can that mean? (Aloud.) Oh, I know he is very fond of making little trips to all sorts of places in the summer. This year he has come here--and no doubt he likes to see the chief industries of the place. There is not much else here to see! But are you sure it is he? I think-- Valborg (looking out). Yes, it is he. Look now, you know his walk-- Tjaelde.--and his trick of crossing his feet--yes, it is he. It looks as if he were coming here. Valborg. No, he has turned away. Tjaelde. All the better! (To himself, thoughtfully.) Could it possibly mean--? (SANNAES comes in from the right.) Sannaes. Am I disturbing you, sir? Tjaelde. Is that you, Sannaes? (SANNAES, as he comes forward, sees VALBORG standing by the farther window. He appears frightened and hides his hands quickly behind his back.) What do you want? (VALBORG looks at SANNAES, then goes on to the verandah and out to the right.) What is it, man? What the deuce are you standing there for? Sannaes (bringing his hands from behind his back as soon as VALBORG has passed him, and looking after her.) I didn't like to ask you, before Miss Valborg, whether you are coming down to your office to-day or not. Tjaelde. Have you gone mad? Why on earth shouldn't you ask me that before Miss Valborg? Sannaes. I mean that--if not--I should like to speak to you here, if it is convenient. Tjaelde. Look here, Sannaes, you ought to try and get rid of your shyness; it doesn't suit a business man. A business man should be smart and active, and not let his wits go wool-gathering because he finds himself in the same room with a woman. I have often noticed it in you.--Now, what is it? Out with it! Sannaes. You are not coming to the office this morning, sir? Tjaelde. No, there is no post goes out before this evening. Sannaes. No. But there are some bills of exchange-- Tjaelde. Bills? No. Sannaes. Yes, sir--that fourth one of Moeller's that was protested, and the big English one. Tjaelde (angrily). Have they not been met yet? What does this mean? Sannaes. The manager of the bank wanted to see you first, sir! Tjaelde. Have you gone crazy--? (Collects himself.) There must be some misunderstanding, Sannaes. Sannaes. That is what I thought; so I spoke about it to the chief clerk, and to Mr. Holst as well. Tjaelde. And Mr. Holst said--? Sannaes. The same thing. Tjaelde (walking up and down). I will go and see him--or rather, I _won't_ go and see him; because this is evidently something that--. We have some days' grace yet, haven't we? Sannaes. Yes, sir. Tjaelde. And still no telegram from Mr. Lind? Sannaes. No, sir. Tjaelde (to himself). I can't understand it. (Aloud.) We will negotiate this matter direct with Christiania, Sannaes. That is what we will do--and leave these little local banks alone in future. That will do, Sannaes! (Makes a gesture of dismissal. Then says to himself:) That damned Moeller! It has made them all suspicious! (Turns round and sees SANNAES still there.) What are you waiting for? Sannaes. It is settling day--and I have no money in the safe. Tjaelde. No money in the safe! A big business like this, and nothing in the safe on settling day! What kind of management is that, I should like to know? Must I teach you the A B C of business over and over again? One can never take a half day off, or hand over the control! of the tiniest part of the business--! I have no one, absolutely no one, that I can rely on! How have you let things get into such a state? Sannaes. Well, there was a third bill, which expired to-day--Holm and Co., for L400. I had relied upon the bank, unfortunately--so there was nothing for it but to empty the safe--here and at the brewery as well. Tjaelde (walking about restlessly). Hm--hm--hm!--Now, who can have put that into Holst's head?--Very well, that will do. (Dismisses SANNAES, who goes out but comes back immediately.) Sannaes (whispering). Here is Mr. Berent! Tjaelde (surprised). Coming here? Sannaes. He is just coming up the steps! (Goes out by the further door on the right.) Tjaelde. (calls after him in a whisper). Send up some wine and cakes!--It is just as I suspected! (Catches sight of himself in a mirror.) Good Lord, how bad I look! (Turns away painfully from the mirror; looks in it again, forces a smile to his face, and so, smiling, goes towards the verandah, where BERENT is seen coming in slowly from the left.) Tjaelde (greeting BERENT politely but with reserve). I feel honoured at receiving a visit from so distinguished a man. Berent. Mr. Tjaelde, I believe? Tjaelde. At your service! My eldest daughter has just been telling me that she had seen you walking about my property. Berent. Yes; an extensive property--and an extensive business. Tjaelde. Too extensive, Mr. Berent. Too many-sided. But one thing has led to another. Pray sit down. Berent. Thank you; it is very warm to-day. (A maid brings in cakes and wine, and puts them on the table.) Tjaelde. Let me give you a glass of wine? Berent. No, thank you. Tjaelde. Or something to eat? Berent. Nothing, thank you. Tjaelde (taking out his cigar-case). May I offer you a cigar? I can answer for their quality. Berent. I am very fond of a good cigar. But for the moment I will not take anything, thank you! (A pause. TJAELDE takes a seat.) Tjaelde (in a quiet, confidential voice). Have you been long here, Mr. Berent? Berent. Only a day or two. You have been away, have you not? Tjaelde. Yes--that unhappy affair of Mr. Moeller's. A meeting of creditors after the sale. Berent. Times are hard just now. Tjaelde. Extraordinarily so! Berent. Do you think that Moeller's failure will bring down any more firms with it-besides those we know of already, I mean? Tjaelde. I don't think so. His--his misfortune was an exceptional case in every respect. Berent. It has made the banks a little nervous, I hear. Tjaelde. I dare say. Berent. Of course you know the state of affairs here better than any one. Tjaelde. (with a smile). I am very much indebted to you for your flattering confidence in me. Berent. I suppose all this might have a bad effect upon the export trade of this part of the country? Tjaelde. Yes--it is really hard to tell; but the important thing certainly is to keep every one on their legs. Berent. That is your opinion? Tjaelde. Undoubtedly. Berent. As a general rule a crisis of this sort shows up the unsound elements in a commercial community. Tjaelde (with a smile). And for that reason this crisis should be allowed to take its natural course, you mean? Berent. That is my meaning. Tjaelde. Hm!--In some places it is possible that the dividing line between the sound firms and the unsound may not be very distinct. Berent. Can there really be any danger of such a thing here? Tjaelde. Well--you are expecting too much of my knowledge of affairs; but I should be inclined to think that there may. (A pause.) Berent. I have been instructed by the banks to prepare an opinion upon the situation--a fact which I have, so far, only confided to you. Tjaelde. I am much obliged. Berent. The smaller local banks here have combined, and are acting in concert. Tjaelde. Indeed? (A pause.) I suppose you have seen Mr. Holst, then? Berent. Of course. (A pause.) If we are to assist the sound firms and leave the others to their fate, the best way will certainly be for all alike to disclose their actual position. Tjaelde. Is that Mr. Holst's opinion too? Berent. It is. (A pause.) I have advised him for the present--at all events till we have all the balance-sheets--to say "no" to every request for an advance, without exception. Tjaelde. (with a look of relief). I understand! Berent. Only a temporary measure, of course-- Tjaelde. Quite so! Berent.--but one that must apply to every one impartially. Tjaelde. Admirable! Berent. Not to treat every one alike would be to run the danger of throwing premature suspicion on individuals. Tjaelde. I quite agree. Berent. I am delighted to hear it. Then you will not misunderstand me if I ask you also to prepare a balance-sheet which shall show the actual position of your firm. Tjaelde. With the greatest pleasure, if by doing so I can assist the general welfare. Berent. I assure you, you can. It is by such means that public confidence is strengthened. Tjaelde. When do you want the balance-sheet? Of course, it can only be a summary one. Berent. Naturally. I will give myself the pleasure of calling for it. Tjaelde. By no means. I can let you have it at once, if you like. I am in the habit of frequently drawing up summary balance-sheets of that kind--as prices rise and fall, you know. Berent. Indeed? (Smiles.) You know, of course, what they say of swindlers--that they draw up three balance-sheets everyday, and all different! But you are teaching me, apparently-- Tjaelde (laughing).--that others too, may have that bad habit!--though I haven't actually got as far as three a day! Berent. Of course I was only joking. (Gets up.) Tjaelde (getting up). Of course. I will send it to the hotel in an hour's time; for I suppose you are staying in our only so-called hotel! Would you not care, for the rest of your stay, to move your things over here and make yourself at home in a couple of empty spare rooms that I have? Bercnt. Thank you, but the length of my stay is so uncertain; and the state of my health imposes habits upon me which are embarrassing to every one, and to myself most of all, when I am among strangers. Tjaelde. But at all events I hope you will dine with us to-day? I expect one or two friends. And perhaps a short sail afterwards; it is very pretty among the islands here. Berent. Thank you, but my health won't allow me such dissipations. Tjaelde. Ha, ha!--Well, if I can be of any further service to you--? Berent. I should be glad to have a talk with you before I leave, preferably as soon as possible. Tjaelde (somewhat surprised). You mean, after you have received all the balance-sheets? Berent. I have already managed to get most of them quietly, through Mr. Holst. Tjaelde (more surprised). Oh--so you mean to-day--? Berent. Would five o'clock suit you? Tjaelde. I am quite at your disposal! I will give myself the pleasure of calling upon you at five. Berent. No, I will come here at five o'clock. (Bows, and turns to go.) Tjaelde (following him). But you are the invalid--the older man--and a distinguished man-- Berent. But you are at home here. Good-bye! Tjaelde. Let me thank you for the honour you have done me by calling upon me! Berent. Please don't bother to see me out. Tjaelde. Allow me to escort you? Berent. I can find the way quite well, thank you. Tjaelde. No doubt, no doubt-but I should feel it an honour! Berent. As you please! (As they are about to go down the verandah steps they are met by SIGNE and HAMAR, who are coming up arm in arm. Each couple draws aside to make room for the other.) Tjaelde. Let me introduce--no, I am sure Mr. Berent needs no introduction. This is my youngest daughter--and her fiance, Lieutenant Hamar. Berent. I thought your regiment was at the manoeuvres, Lieutenant? Hamar. I have got furlough-- Berent. On account of urgent business, no doubt! Good day! Tjaelde. Ha, ha, ha! (He and BERENT go down the steps.) Hamar. Insolent fellow! But he is like that to every one. Signe. Not to my father, as far as I could see. Hamar. Your father is insolent too. Signe. You shan't say such things of father! Hamar. What else do you call it, to laugh at such impertinence as Berent's. Signe. I call it good spirits! (Sits down in a rocking-chair and begins rocking herself.) Hamar. Oh, then, so you--. You are not very agreeable to-day. Signe (still rocking herself). No; do you know, sometimes I get so bored with you. Hamar. Yet you won't let me go away? Signe. Because I should be still worse bored without you. Hamar. Let me tell you this, I am not going to put up much longer with the way I am treated here! Signe. Very well. (Takes off her engagement ring and holds it between her finger and her thumb, as she rocks herself and hums a tune.) Hamar. Oh, I don't say anything about _you_; but look at Valborg! Look at your father! He hasn't even as much as offered me a mount on his new horse! Signe. He has had something else to think about--possibly something even more important than that. (Goes on humming.) Hamar. Oh, do be nice, Signe! You must admit that my feelings are very natural. Indeed, to speak quite candidly--because I know I can say anything to you--it seems to me that, as I am to be his son-in-law and am in a cavalry regiment, and as he has no sons of his own, I might almost expect that--that he would make me a present of the horse. Signe. Ha, ha, ha! Hamar. Does it seem so unreasonable to you? Signe. Ha, ha, ha! Hamar. Why do you laugh at what I say, Signe? It seems to me that it would reflect very well on your family if, when my friends admired my horse, I could say: "My father-in-law made me a present of it." Because, you know, there isn't a finer horse in the whole of Norway. Signe. And that is the reason why you should have it? Ha, ha, ha! Hamar. I won't stand it! Signe. The peerless lieutenant on the peerless horse! Ha, ha, ha! Hamar. Signe, be quiet! Signe. You are so funny! (Begins to hum again.) Hamar. Listen, Signe! No one has so much influence with your father as you.--Oh, do listen! Can't you talk seriously for a moment? Signe. I should like to! (Goes on humming.) Hamar. My idea was that, if that horse were mine, I would stay here for the summer and break it in thoroughly. (SIGNE stops rocking herself and humming. HAMAR comes up to her chair and leans over her.) In that case I would not go back till the autumn, and then you could come with the horse and me into town. Wouldn't that be delightful? Signe (after looking at him for a moment). Oh, yes, my dear, you always have such delightful ideas! Hamar. Don't I! But the whole thing depends, of course, on whether you can get the horse from your father. Will you try, darling? Signe. And then you would stay here all the summer? Hamar. All the summer! Signe. So as to break in the horse. Hamar. Just to break in the horse! Signe. And I would go with you into town in the autumn--that was what you said, wasn't it? Hamar. Yes; wouldn't it be jolly? Signe. Shall you take the bay horse to stay with your Aunt Ulla too? Hamar (laughing). What? Signe. Well, you have spent your furlough here simply for the sake of that horse--I know that well enough--and you propose to stay here, just to break it in-and then you propose that the horse and I should go to your aunt's-- Hamar. But, Signe, what do you--? Signe (beginning to rock herself furiously). Ugh! Go away! Hamar. Jealous of a horse! Ha, ha, ha! Signe. Go away to the stables. Hamar. Is that meant for a punishment? Because it would be more amusing there than it is here. Signe (throwing down her ring). There! Let your horse wear that! Hamar. Every time you throw down that ring-- Signe. Oh, you have said that so often! I am tired of that too! (Turns her chair round so as to turn her back on him.) Hamar. You are such a spoilt child that it would be absurd to take everything you say seriously-- Signe. I am sick of that too, I tell you--for the hundred and twentieth time! Go away! Hamar. But can't you see how ridiculous it is of you to be jealous of a horse? Have you ever heard of anyone else behaving like that? Signe (jumping up). Oh, you make me want to shout and scream! I feel so ashamed of you! (Stamps her foot.) I despise you! Hamar (laughing). And all on account of the horse? Signe. No, on your own account--yours, yours! I feel so miserable sometimes, I should like to throw myself down on the floor and cry--or run away and never come back! Can't you let me alone! Can't you go away! Hamar. Yes--and I have not picked up the ring this time, either! Signe. Oh, do go!--go, go, go! (Bursts out crying and sits down.) Hamar. All right!--I see the steamer in the distance; I shall go home at once. Signe. Oh, you know as well as I do that that steamer goes the other way! Oh! (Cries. The masts and funnel of a steamer come into sight, and a trail of smoke passes over the sky. TJAELDE'S voice is heard outside, calling: "Hurry up! Take the lieutenant's boat; it is ready!" SIGNE jumps up.) Hamar. They are going to fetch some one from the steamer! (TJAELDE'S voice is heard again: "You get the boat out! He is coming here!" HAMAR runs to pick up the ring and comes back hurriedly to SIGNE.) Signe! Signe. No, I won't! Hamar. Signe, dear! What does this mean? What is it that I have done? Signe. I don't know, but I am wretchedly unhappy! (Bursts into tears.) Hamar. But you know that in the end I always do what you want? What more can you wish than that? Signe. I can't help it, I wish I were dead! It is always the same thing! (In tears again.) Hamar. But, Signe--you who have told me hundreds of times that you loved me! Signe. And so I do. But sometimes our engagement seems horrible!--No, don't come near me! Hamar. Signe! (TJAELDE'S voice is heard outside: "Of course, put your best coat on!" He calls louder: "Sannaes!" An answering voice is heard in the distance. TJAELDE continues: "Don't forget your gloves!") Dry your eyes, Signe! Don't let him see you have been crying. (He tries to give her the ring, but she turns away, wiping her eyes. TJAELDE comes up the steps on to the verandah.) Tjaelde. Oh, there you are! That's right. Mr. Lind is arriving by this steamer--I had a telegram from him just now. (Calls out over the verandah.) Come along with those flags! And get this boat out of the way and unstep her mast! She is moored up tight! (HAMAR runs to help him.) Yes, you cast her off! (HAMAR does so, and the boat is hauled away to the right. TJAELDE comes forward into the room.) Signe! (Looks at her.) What? Squabbling again? Signe. Father! Tjaelde. Well, this is no time for tomfoolery of that sort! You must all do the honours of the house to-day. Tell Valborg-- Signe. Tell her yourself, please! You know Valborg only does just what she likes. Tjaelde. Don't talk such rubbish! This is an important moment--and you will all do as _I_ say! Tell Valborg that she is to make herself look nice and come to me here. And you do the same. (She goes.) Signe! Signe (stopping). Yes? Tjaelde. We must ask five or six more people to dinner. You must send word to Mr. Finne that we shall dine punctually at three o'clock, instead of four. Mr. Lind has to go away again by the next boat, at five o'clock. Do you understand? Signe. But has mother enough in the house for so many? Tjaelde. It is not a mere question of there being enough--it must be a very good dinner. I expect my larder to be kept thoroughly well stocked all through the summer. How often am I to repeat that? Signe (trying to repress her fears). But mother is feeling so ill to-day-- Tjaelde. Oh! don't begin about that everlasting "feeling ill." There is no time to-day to feel ill. Now, be quick! (SIGNE goes out by the farther door. TJAELDE turns to HAMAR.) Get a pen and ink and some paper! We must draw up a list of guests, at once! Hamar (looking about). There is none here. Tjaelde (impatiently). Fetch some, then! (HAMAR goes into the next room. TJAELDE, after a long sigh of relief, reads a telegram he has in his hand. His hand trembles as he reads it slowly, repeating some passages twice.) "Letter received just as starting. Before taking charge of affairs, must have interview. Coming to-day earliest boat, return five o'clock. Have clear statement ready. Lind." I can hardly read it--but it is true! Yes, if I can only work this properly all doors will be open to me! (To HAMAR, who has come back.) Ah, there you are! It would take too long to write invitations. We will just draw up a list of names and one of my clerks shall run round to them all. Now then! (Dictates.) The Vicar--Oh, by the way, what is the champagne like? Hamar. Do you mean the new lot? Tjaelde. Yes. Hamar. The Vicar praised it highly. Tjaelde. Good. Well, then-- Hamar (writing). The Vicar. Tjzlde. Mr. Ring. Hamar. Mr. Ring. Tjaelde. And--and-- Hamar. Mr. Holst? Tjaelde. No, not Holst. (HAMAR appears greatly astonished. TJAELDE says to himself:) I can show him now that I have no need of him! (Suddenly, to HAMAR.) Mr. Holm. (To himself.) Holst's enemy! Hamar. Mr. Holm. Tjaelde (to himself). Although Holm is a boor. Still, it will annoy Holst. (Aloud.) The Chief Constable. Hamar. The Chief-- Tjaelde. No, strike out the Chief Constable. Hamar. Chief Constable struck out. Tjaelde. Have we got the Vicar down? Hamar. He is number one on the list. Tjaelde. Of course, yes. Hamar. What about the Magistrate? Tjaelde. No, he lives too far off. Besides, unless he is the guest of honour and can talk shop all the time--. No! But, let me see. Mr. Knutzon--Knutzon with a "z." Hamar. Knutzon with a "z." Tjaelde. Oh!--and--Knudsen, too! Knudsen with an "s." Hamar. Knudsen with an "s." Tjaelde. How many have we got? Hamar. The Vicar, Ring, Holm, the Chief--oh, no, the Chief Constable was struck out; Knutzon with a "z," Knudsen with an "s "--that is one, two, three, four, five, six. Tjaelde. And Finne, you, and I make nine. We must have twelve. Hamar. What about some ladies? Tjaelde. No; ladies are out of place at a business dinner. They may do the honours afterwards, when we have got to the cigarette stage. But whom shall we--? Hamar. That new lawyer fellow? He's a smart chap--I can't remember his name? Tjaelde. No, he always wants to be speechifying wherever he goes.--Ah, Mr. Pram, the custom-house officer! Hamar. That man? He always gets drunk! Tjaelde. Yes, but he doesn't get noisy with it. He does no harm--quite the contrary! Yes, put down Pram. Hamar. Mr. Pram. Tjaelde. It is a very difficult task, in such a small town, when you want to get a good set of people together. Ah!--Falbe! I forgot him. He is very neat, and no opinions. Hamar. Neat in his dress, do you mean? Tjaelde. Yes, in his dress too-but I meant it more generally. Now, for the twelfth--Morten Schultz? Hamar. Morten Schultz! (Gets up.) No, really, I must take the liberty of protesting against him! Do you really know what he did the last time he was here, when you had a lot of guests? In the middle of dinner he took out his false teeth and began showing them to his neighbours. He wanted to have them passed round the table! If that is your idea of a good set of people--well! Tjaelde. Yes, he is rather a rough diamond. But he is the richest man about here. Hamar (who has sat down again). Well in that case he really ought to afford himself a new wig! It is far from pleasant to sit beside him, I can assure you! Tjaelde. Yes, I know he is a pig; but he is wide awake, and this would flatter him! You see, my young friend, when a man is very rich you must make certain allowances for him. Hamar. I can't understand what _you_ can hope to get out of him. Tjaelde. Hm, hm!--No, well, perhaps we had better leave him out? Hamar. Certainly! Tjaelde (to himself). Although Lind would understand the significance of Morten Schultz's being here-- Hamar. And the things he says! Ladies have to leave the room! Tjaelde. Yes, you are right. (Mutters to himself.) And, after all, I don't need him any longer. (Aloud.) But what about our twelfth, then? Let me see--. Hamar. Christopher Hansen? Tjaelde. Oh, Lord! no. We should have to talk politics. No, let me see--. Yes, I think I might risk it! Hm, hm--yes, just the man! Jakobsen, the brewery manager. Hamar. Jakobsen? Tjaelde. Hm, hm! Jakobsen will do very well. I know Jakobsen. Hamar. Oh, he is a very good fellow--we all know that, but in polite society--! Tjaelde. Hm, hm, hm!--Put him down! Hamar (writing). Jakobsen. There, then! (Gets up.) Tjaelde. Now let Skogstad go with the list! Remember, three o'clock punctually! And be quick! (Calls after HAMAR, who is going out.) And come back when you have given him the list! There may be something more to do! (HAMAR goes out by the nearer door. TJAELDE takes a letter out of his pocket.) Ah, of course! Shall I send the balance-sheet to Berent? I am independent of the banks now. Still, I am not out of the wood yet. And, anyway, it is a very pretty balance-sheet! Holst would be sure to see it, and that might be useful--and it might annoy him, too. Besides, if I don't send it, they will think that my promising to send it had put me into a hole, and that Lind had helped me out of it. I risk least by sending it. (HAMAR comes back.) Look here, let him take this letter, too. It is for Mr. Berent, at the Hotel Victoria. Hamar. Is this an invitation? Because, if it is, we shall be thirteen at table. Tjaelde. It is not an invitation. Be quick, before he goes. (HAMAR goes out again.) Oh, if only it succeeds! Lind is the sort of man one can persuade--and I must, I must persuade him! (Looks at his watch.) I have four whole hours to do it in. I have never felt so hopeful--not for a long time. (Is lost in thought; then says quietly:) After all, sometimes a crisis is a good thing--like a big wave that carries one on!--They have all had their suspicions aroused now, and are all ready to get into a panic. (Sighs.) If only I could get safely out of my difficulties without any one's suspecting it!--Oh, this anxious fear, night and day!--all this mystery, these shifts, these concealments, this farce I have to keep up! I go about my business as if I were in a dream. (Despairingly.) This shall be the last time--my last performance of this sort! No more of it!--I only need a helping hand now, and I have got it! But _have_ I got it? that is the question. Oh! if only, after this, I could know what it was to have a good night's sleep and to wake in the morning free from anxiety!--to join them at meals with an easy conscience!--come home in the evening and feel that it was all done with! If only I had something to take my stand upon that I could call my own--really and truly my own! I hardly dare to believe that there is a chance--I have so often been disappointed! (HAMAR comes back.) Hamar. There--that's done! Tjaelde. Good Lord, what about a salute from our cannon? We must give him a salute! Hamar. We have powder. Tjaelde. Then send word up at once to Ole to see about it! (They hurry out. The curtain falls.) ACT II SCENE I (SCENE.--The same room. The table, which has been drawn to one side, is covered with bottles of champagne aged dishes of fruit. MRS. TJAELDE and SIGNE, with a man-servant and a maid, are busy preparing it. Through the door on the right a lively conversation can be heard, and occasional bursts of laughter.) Mrs. Tjaelde (in a tired voice). Now I think it is all ready. Signe. They are talking a long time over their dinner. Mrs. Tjaelde (looking at her watch). Yes, they will only have half an hour for their dessert, because Mr. Lind has to leave at five o'clock. Signe. Ah, they have finished at last! Listen, they are getting up from the table. (Amidst the loud noise of conversation the noise of chairs being pushed back is audible.) Here they come! Mrs. Tjaelde. Yes; let us retreat. (The maid goes out by the farther door; SIGNE helps MRS. TJAELDE out after her. The man-servant begins opening the champagne. The guests come in from the dining-room, headed by LIND escorted by TJAELDE, whom he is assuring that the dinner was excellent, to which TJAELDE replies that it is impossible to do much in a small country town. Both look at their watches, and observe that there is only half an hour left. TJAELDE vainly endeavours to persuade LIND to stay longer. Close behind them come HOLM and RING, engaged in an animated dispute about timber prices, the former maintaining that they will fall still lower, the latter that they will rise speedily owing to the fall in the prices of coal and iron, a point of view which the former vigorously controverts. Immediately behind them comes the VICAR, escorted by HAMAR, who is a little tipsy. The VICAR is assuring him that he has no objection to parishioners repudiating the obligation to attend the services of their own priest, so long as they are compelled to pay him for those services whether they avail themselves of them or not; because order, which is an essential characteristic of the Heavenly Kingdom, must be maintained. HAMAR tries to get in a word or two about the bay horse, but without success. At the same time KNUTZON and FALBE are deep in a discussion about a dancer whom FALBE has seen at Hamburg. He is maintaining that she can leap six feet into the air, which KNUTZON ventures to doubt, but FALBE says there is no doubt about it, and he knows because he has once sat at the same dinner-table with her. FINNE, KNUDSEN, and JAKOBSEN follow them. JAKOBSEN is heard challenging any one to contradict him, while the others eagerly protest that he has entirely misunderstood their meaning. He affirms stoutly that he doesn't care a damn what they meant, but that his employer is the greatest business man and the finest fellow in the world, or at all events in Norway. PRAM comes in by himself, wrapt in tipsy contemplation. They all talk at the same time.) Tjaelde (rapping on a glass). Gentlemen! (There is a sudden silence, except for the sound of the voices of FALBE and JAKOBSEN, who are hushed down by the others.) Gentlemen! I am sorry dinner has occupied such a long time. All (unanimously). No, no! Tjaelde. Our distinguished guest has, unfortunately, to leave us in half an hour, so I should like to take the opportunity of saying a few words. Gentlemen, we have a prince among us to-day. I say a prince, because if it is true that it is the financiers that rule the world--and it is true, gentlemen-- Pram (who is standing well forward, supporting himself by the edge of the table, says solemnly:) Yes. Tjaelde.--then our friend here is a prince! There is not a single important undertaking that he has not initiated, or at any rate backed with his name. Pram (lifting his glass). Mr. Lind, may I have the honour--? Voices. Sh! Sh! Tjaelde. Yes, gentlemen, his name backs every enterprise. It would be impossible to carry one through that had not his backing. Pram (solemnly). His backing. Tjaelde. Am I not right, then, in describing him as a prince? Falbe (in a feeble voice). Yes. Tjaelde. Gentlemen, to-day his name is once more exercising its powerful, I might say its creative, influence upon circumstances. I may say that at this moment the country holds no truer benefactor than he. Pram. Great man. Tjaelde. Let us drink his health! May prosperity attend him and his, and may his name be deathless in Norway! Mr. Lind! All. Mr. Lind! Mr. Lind! (They all drink his health effusively.) Tjaelde (to HAMAR, whom he pulls forward somewhat roughly, as the others begin to help themselves to the dessert.) What has become of the salute? Hamar (in consternation).Good Lord, yes! (Rushes to the window, but comes back.) I have no handkerchief. I must have laid it down in the dining-room. Tjaelde. Here is mine!(Feels in his pocket for it.) One cannot rely on you for the least thing. The salute will be too late now. It is disgraceful! (HAMAR goes to the window and waves the handkerchief madly. At last the report of a cannon is heard. The guests are standing in a group, holding their dessert plates.) Holm. A little bit late! Knutzon. Rather behind the moment-- Ring. A very important moment, however! Holm. A very unexpected one, anyway! Knutzon (jestingly). Allow me, amidst the cannon's roar, to introduce to you a man who has been led by the nose! Ring. Oh, Tjaelde knows what he is about! Tjaelde. Mr. Lind is kind enough to wish to propose a toast. (They all compose themselves into respectful silence.) Lind. Our worthy host has proposed my health in most flattering terms. I would merely add this, that wealth is entrusted to those who have it precisely in order that they may support industry, genius, and great undertakings. Pram (who has never changed his position). Nobly said. Lind. I am only an administrator of a trust, and too often a weak and short-sighted one. Pram. Beautiful. Lind. But I shall not be mistaken if I say that Mr. Tjaelde's many-sided activities, which we must all admire, rest upon a sound foundation; and of that fact no one, at the present moment, is better able to judge than I. (The guests look at one another in surprise.) Therefore I have no hesitation in saying that his activities are an honour to this town, to this district, to our whole country, and that therefore his genius and his energy deserve support. I propose the toast of "prosperity to the firm of Tjaelde!" All. Prosperity to the firm of Tjaelde! (HAMAR signals again with the handkerchief, and a cannon shot is heard.) Tjaelde. I thank you heartily, Mr. Lind! I am profoundly touched. Lind. I said no more than I am convinced of, Mr. Tjaelde!! Tjaelde. Thank you! (To HAMAR.) What do you mean by signalling for a salute for the host? Blockhead! Hamar. You said there was to be a salute when a toast was proposed, didn't you? Tjaelde. Oh, you are a--! Hamar (to himself). Well, if ever again I--! Holm. Then it is an accomplished fact, I suppose? Knutzon. _Fait accompli_! That toast represents twenty thousand pounds, at least. Ring. Yes, Tjaelde knows what he is about! I have always said that! (FALBE is seen drinking ceremoniously with LIND. JAKOBSEN comes forward, talking to KNUDSEN.) Jakobsen (in a low voice). There isn't a word of truth in what you say! Knudsen. But, my dear Jakobsen, you misunderstand me! Jakobsen (louder). Hang it, I know my people! Knudsen. Don't talk so loud! Jakobsen (still louder). What I say any one may hear! Tjaelde. (at the same moment). The Vicar wishes to say a few words. Knudsen (to JAKOBSEN). Hush! The Vicar wishes to say a few words. Jakobsen. Have I got to hush because that damned-- Tjaelde (in a voice of authority). The Vicar wishes to speak. Jakobsen. I beg your pardon! The Vicar (in a feeble voice). As the spiritual adviser of this household, I have the pleasing duty of invoking a blessing on the gifts that have been so richly showered upon our host and his friends. May they be to their souls' present good and eternal welfare! Pram. Amen. The Vicar. I am going to ask you to drink the health of our host's dear children--those lovely girls whose welfare has been the object of my prayers ever since they were confirmed--ever since that memorable day when household and religious duties began to walk side by side. Pram. Ah, yes! The Vicar. May they always in the future, as they have in the past, grow in the holy fear of God and in meekness and gratitude towards their parents! All. Miss Valborg, Miss Signe! Hamar (in a panic). Am I to signal? Tjaelde. Oh, go to--! Hamar. Well, if ever again--! Tjaelde. Thank you very much, Mr. Vicar. Like you, I hope that the intimate relations between parent and child that exist here-- The Vicar. It has always been a pleasure to me to come into your most hospitable house. Tjaelde. May I have the honour of drinking a glass of wine with you? (They drink to each other.) The Vicar. Excellent champagne, my dear sir! Lind (to HOLM). It pains me to hear what you say. Is it possible that this town, which owes so much to Mr. Tjaelde, repays him with such ingratitude? Holm (in a low voice). One never can quite confidently rely on him. Lind. Really? I have heard others sing his praises so loudly, you know. Holm (as before). You misunderstand me. I mean his position-- Lind. His position? That must be merely envy! People are often so unjust towards those whose enterprise has lifted them above the heads of the crowd. Holm. At any rate I assure you it was not from-- Lind (coldly). I don't doubt it. (Walks away from him.) Jakobsen (with whom TJAELDE has just drunk). Gentlemen! Knutzon (to HOLM, in passing). Is that boor really going to be allowed to make a speech! (Going up to LIND.) May I have the honour of drinking a glass of wine with you, Mr. Lind? (Several of the guests begin to talk, ostentatiously indifferent to JAKOBSEN who is trying to begin his speech.) Jakobsen (in a formidable voice). Gentlemen! (Silence ensues, and he continues in his usual voice.) Permit a common man to say a word, too, on this festive occasion. I was a poor little boy when I entered Mr. Tjaelde's employment; but he pulled me out of the gutter. (Laughter.) I am-what I am, gentlemen! And therefore if any here is qualified to talk about Mr. Tjaelde, it is I; because I know him. I know he is a fine fellow. Lind (to TJAELDE). Children and drunken men-- Tjaelde (laughing).--speak the truth! Jakobsen. There are lots of people that will tell you one thing or another about him--and, of course, he may have his failings like all of us. But as I find myself in such fine company as this I am going to say that--that--devil take me if Mr. Tjaelde isn't too good for the lot of you! (Laughter.) Tjaelde. That's enough, Jakobsen! Jakobsen. No, it's not enough! Because there is one toast we have all forgotten, although we have all had such a splendid dinner. (Laughter. FALBE claps his hands and cries: "Bravo!") Yes, and it is nothing to laugh at; because it is the toast of Mrs. Tjaelde's health that we have not drunk! Lind. Bravo! Jakobsen. There's a wife and mother for you! I can tell you--and it's true--she goes about the house attending to her duties and preparing for our entertainment when all the time she is ill, and she takes the whole thing on her shoulders and says nothing. God bless her, I say!--and that is all I have to say. Several of the Guests (raising their glasses). Mrs. Tjaelde! Mrs. Tjaelde! Pram (grasping JAKOBSEN by the hand). That was fine of you, Jakobsen! (LIND joins them; PRAM steps aside respectfully.) Lind. Will you drink a glass of wine with me, Jakobsen? Jakobsen. Thank you, very much. I am only a common man-- Lind. But a good-hearted one! Your health! (They drink to each other. A boat is seen putting in to shore below the verandah. Its crew of six men stand up and toss their oars in naval fashion. SANNAES is standing at the helm.) Holm (in a whisper, to KNUTZON). Tjaelde knew what he was doing when he invited Jakobsen! Knutzon (whispering). Just look at the boat! Ring. Tjaelde is a very clever fellow--a very clever fellow! (VALBORG, SIGNE and MRS. TJAELDE are seen coming up the verandah steps.) Tjaelde. Gentlemen, the moment of departure is at hand; I see the ladies coming to take leave of our distinguished guest. Let us take this last opportunity of gathering around him--round our prince--and thanking him for coming! Let us cheer him with three times three! (Cheers.) Lind. Thank you, gentlemen! There is so little time left that I must confine myself to merely bidding you all good-bye. (To MRS. TJAELDE.) Good-bye, my dear madam! You should have heard how your health was proposed and drunk just now. My warmest thanks for your hospitality, and forgive me for the trouble I have caused you. (To SIGNE.) Good-bye, Miss Signe. I am sorry time has not permitted me to have the honour of becoming better acquainted with you; you seem so full of spirit! But if, as you said, you are soon coming to Christiania-- Signe. I shall then do myself the honour of calling upon your wife. Lind. Thank you, thank you--you will be most welcome. (To VALBORG.) Are you not feeling well, Miss Valborg? Valborg. Yes. Lind. You look so serious. (As VALBORG does not reply, he continues somewhat coldly:) Good-bye, Miss Valborg. (To HAMAR.) Good-bye, Mr.--Mr.-- Tjaelde. Mr. Hamar. Lind. Ah, the young man that talked to me about a horse--your future son-in-law! Pray forgive me for not-- Hamar. Don't mention it! Lind. Good-bye! Hamar. A pleasant journey, sir! Lind (coldly, to HOLM). Good-bye, Mr. Holm. Holm (imperturbably polite). I wish you a very pleasant journey, Mr. Lind. Lind (to PRAM). Good-bye, Mr. Pram. Pram (holds his hand, and seems as if he wanted to say something but could not. At last he finds his voice). I want to thank you for--for--I want to thank you for--for-- Lind. You are an excellent fellow! Pram (in a relieved voice). I am so glad to hear it! Thank you. Lind (to KNUTZON). Good-bye, Mr.-- Knutzon (hastily). Knutzon. Pram. With a "z." Lind (to KNUDSEN). Good-bye, Mr.-- Knudsen. Knudsen, again. Pram. With an "s." Lind (to FALBE). Mr--? Falbe. Falbe. Lind. Good-bye, Mr. Falbe! (To RING.) I am delighted to see you looking so well, Mr. Ring. Ring (with a low bow). The same to you, sir! Lind. Good-bye, Mr. Vicar! The Vicar (holding his hand, impressively). Let me wish you good luck and happiness, Mr. Lind-- Lind. Thank you. (Tries to get away.) The Vicar.--in your journey over the perilous seas to foreign lands! Lind. Thank you. (Tries to get away.) The Vicar. Let me wish you a safe return, Mr. Lind-- Lind. Thank you very much. (Tries to get away.) The Vicar.--to our dear fatherland; a land, Mr. Lind, which possesses in you-- Lind. You must excuse me, Mr. Vicar, but time presses. The Vicar. Let me thank you for the pleasure of our meeting to-day, Mr. Lind, for-- Lind. Indeed, there is no occasion! Good-bye! (To JAKOBSEN.) Good-bye, Jakobsen, good-bye! Jakobsen. Good-bye, Mr. Lind! I am only a common man, I know; but that is no reason why I shouldn't wish you a pleasant journey too, is it? Lind. Certainly not, Jakobsen.--Good-bye, Mr. Finne! By the way--just a word! (In an undertone.) You said that Mr. Berent--. (Takes him aside.) Tjaelde (to HAMAR). Now, remember the salute this time!--No, no, no! Don't be in such a hurry! Wait till the boat puts off! You want to make a mess of it again! Hamar. Well, if ever again I--! Tjaelde (to LIND, who holds out his hand to him). Goodbye, Mr. Lind! (In a low voice.) No one has so much reason to thank you for your visit as I. You are the only one that can understand--. Lind (a shade coldly). Don't mention it, Mr. Tjaelde! Good luck to your business! (In warmer tones.) Good-bye everybody--and thank you all for your kindness! (The footman, who has for some time been holding out his hat to him, gives it him, and his coat to SANNAES. LIND steps on board the boat.) All. Good-bye, Mr. Lind, good-bye! Tjaelde. One cheer more! (Cheers and a cannon salute are heard together. The boat glides away. They all wave their handkerchiefs. TJAELDE hurries into the room.) I have no handkerchief; that blockhead has--. (Looks at VALBORG.) Why are you not waving? Valborg. Because I don't wish to. (TJAELDE looks at her, but says nothing. He goes into the other room and comes back with a table-napkin in each hand, and hurries on to the verandah.) Tjaelde (waving and shouting). Good-bye! Good-bye! Signe. Let us go out to the point and see the last of them! All. Yes, yes! (All but TJAELDE and VALBORG hurry off to the right.) Tjaelde (coming into the room). I saw Berent coming! (VALBORG goes out by the door on the right. TJAELDE comes forward, throws the napkins on to a table and himself into a chair.) Oh--oh! But this must be the last time.--I shan't need this sort of thing any more! Never again! (Gets up wearily.) Ah, I had forgotten. Berent! [The Curtain falls.] [The interval between this scene and the next should be as short as possible.] SCENE II (SCENE.-TJAELDE'S private office. On the left, a desk strewn with ledgers and papers. On the right, a stove. An easy chair by the stove. A table in the foreground to the right; on it an inkstand and pens. Two armchairs; one at the table facing the audience, the other at the side of the table. Windows on either side of the desk; a door beyond the stove. A door in the background, leading to other offices. A bell-pull hangs down the wall. A chair on either side of the door. Quite at the back, on the left, a staircase leading direct to TJAELDE'S bedroom. BERENT and TJAELDE come in from the back.) Tjaelde. You must excuse my receiving you here. But the other rooms are all upside down; we have had some people to dinner. Berent. I heard you had guests. Tjaelde. Yes, Mr. Lind from Christiana. Berent. Quite so. Tjaelde. Won't you sit down? (BERENT lays down his hat and coat on a chair by the door. He comes slowly forward, sits down at the side of the table, and takes some papers from his breast-pocket. TJAELDE sits down at the other chair by the table and watches him indifferently.) Berent. What we now want is some fixed standard by which to make our valuations, especially of real estate. Have you any objection to our making your business a basis for arriving at that? Tjaelde. None at all. Berent. Then may I make my comments on your own figures, and ask you a few questions about them? Tjaelde. By all means. Berent. Well, to begin with, let us take your properties immediately round here; they will give us the best idea of local values. For instance, take the Mjolstad forest; you have put that down, I see, at L16,500. Tjaelde (indifferently). Have I? Berent. You bought it for L10,000. Tjaelde. Yes, four years ago. Timber prices ruled low then. Berent. And since then you have cut down more than L20,000 worth of timber there. Tjaelde. Who told you so? Berent. Mr. Holst. Tjaelde. Holst knows nothing about it. Berent. We must try to be very accurate, you know. Tjaelde. Well, of course, the whole valuation is not my concern; but those whom it does concern will protest. Berent (taking no notice of his objection). So I think we will reduce the L16,500 to L10,000. Tjaelde. To L10,000! (Laughs.) As you please. Berent. Calculating by the same standard, we can scarcely put down the Stav forest at more than L4000. Tjaelde. Allow me to say that, if that is the way you are going to make your valuation, everybody in the place will have to go bankrupt! Berent (with a smile). We will risk that. You have put down your wharf and its contents at L12,000. Tjaelde. Including two ships in course of construction-- Berent.--for which it would be difficult to find a purchaser, as they are so far from completion. Tjaelde. Indeed? Berent. So I think we cannot put down the wharf and its contents at a higher figure than L8,000--and I believe even that will turn out to be too high. Tjaelde. If you can find me another wharf as well stocked, and with the advantages that this one has, I will buy it whenever you like for L8000; I am certain I should be more than L4000 to the good over the bargain. Berent. May I go on? Tjaelde. If you like! I even feel a certain curiosity to view my possessions under such an entirely new light. Berent. As a matter of fact the items that are too highly valued are just those that comprise this property that you live on--its land, its gardens, its dwelling houses, warehouses, and quays-not to mention the brewery and the factory, which I shall come to later. Even regarded as business premises they seem to me to be over-valued. Tjaelde. Well? Berent, Moreover, the luxurious appointments of this house of yours, which would very probably be superfluous for any one else, cannot possibly be counted upon to realise their full value in a sale. Suppose--as is indeed most likely--that it were a countryman that bought the place? Tjaelde. You are reckoning me as turned out of it already, then! Berent. I am obliged to base all my calculations on what the property would fetch if sold now. Tjaelde (getting up). What may you happen to value it at then? Berent. At less than half your valuation; that is to say at-- Tjaelde. You must really forgive me if I use an expression which has been on the tip of my tongue for some time: this is scandalous! You force yourself into a man's house, and then, under pretext of asking for his opinion, you practically--on paper--rob him of his possessions! Berent. I don't understand you. I am trying to arrive at a basis for values hereabouts; and you said yourself, did you not, that it is a matter that does not concern you alone? Tjaelde. Certainly; but even in jest--if I may be allowed the expression--one does not take the statement that an honourable man has voluntarily offered and treat it as a mendacious document. Berent. There are many different points of view from which valuations can be made, obviously. I see nothing more in it than that. Tjaelde. But don't you understand that this is like cutting into my living flesh? Bit by bit, my property has been brought together or created by my own work, and preserved by the most strenuous exertions on my part under terribly trying conditions--it is bound up with my family, with all that is dear to me--it has become a part of my very life! Berent (with a bow). I understand that perfectly. You have put down the Brewery at-- Tjaelde. No; I refuse to allow you to go on in this way. You must find some one else's property as a basis for your calculations--you must consult some one else, whose idea of business corresponds somewhat closer to your own ridiculous one. Berent (leaning back in his chair). That is a pity. The banks were anxious to be acquainted with your answers to my observations. Tjaelde. Have you sent my statement to the banks? Berent. With my remarks and comments on it, and Mr. Holst's. Tjaelde. This has been a trap, then? I believed I had to deal with a gentleman! Berent. The banks or I, what is the difference? It comes to the same thing, as I represent them unreservedly. Tjaelde. Such impudent audacity is unpardonable! Berent. I would suggest that we avoid hard words--at all events, for the moment--and rather consider the effect that will be produced by the balance-sheet sent in. Tjaelde. That some of us will see! Berent. The banking house of Lind & Co., for instance? Tjaelde. Do you mean to say that my balance-sheet, ornamented with marginal notes by you and Holst, is to be submitted to Mr. Lind's firm too? Berent. When the cannon-salutes and noise of your festivities enlightened me as to the situation, I took the liberty of making some inquiries of the banks. Tjaelde. So you have been spying here, too? You have been trying to undermine my business connections? Berent. Is your position such, then, that you are afraid? Tjaelde. The question is not my position, but your behaviour! Berent. I think we had better keep to the point. You have put down the Brewery at-- Tjaelde. No; your conduct is so absolutely underhanded that, as an honest man, I must refuse all further dealing with you. I am, as I said before, accustomed to have to deal with gentlemen. Berent. I think you misunderstand the situation. Your indebtedness to the banks is so considerable that a settlement of it may reasonably be required of you. But to effect that you must work with us in the matter. Tjaelde (after a moment's thought). Very well! But, no more details--let me know your conclusions, briefly. Berent. My conclusions, briefly, are that you have estimated your assets at L90,800. I estimate them at L40,600. Tjaelde (quietly). That is to say, you make me out to have a deficit of about L30,000? Berent. As to that, I must point out that your estimate of your liabilities does not agree with mine, either. Tjaelde (quietly). Oh, of course not! Berent. For instance, the dividend that Moeller's estate is to yield to you. Tjaelde. No more details! What do you put my total liabilities at? Berent. Let me see. Your total liabilities amount, according to your calculations, to L70,000. I estimate them at L80,000--to be precise, at L79,372. Tjaelde. That puts my deficit at about-- Berent. At about L39,400--or, in round figures, L40,000. Tjaelde. Oh, by all means let us stick to round figures! Berent. So that the difference between your views of your balance-sheet and mine is that, whereas you give yourself a surplus of about L20,000, I give you a deficit of about L40,000. Tjaelde. Thank you very much.--Do you know my opinion of the whole matter? (BERENT looks up at him.) That I am in this room with a madman. Berent. I have had the same opinion for some time.--The stock of timber you hold in France I have not been able to deal with; you have forgotten to include it in your account. Perhaps it may make a little difference. Tjaelde. It is of no consequence! I have often enough heard people speak of your callousness and your heartlessness; but their account of you has come nowhere near the truth. I don't know why I have not turned you out of my house long before this; but you will have the goodness to leave it now! Berent. We shall both leave presently. But before we do, we must discuss the question of handing over the house to the Receiver in Bankruptcy. Tjaelde. Ha, ha, ha! Allow me to inform you that at this very moment a sum is being telegraphed to me which will be sufficient not only to cover my present liabilities, but to set me straight in every direction! Berent. The telegraph is a useful invention which is open to every one. Tjaelde (after a moment's thought). What do you mean by that? Berent. One effect of the noise of your festivities was that I used the telegraph also. Mr. Lind will receive, on board the boat, a telegram from his firm--and I doubt if the money you speak of will be forthcoming. Tjaelde. It is not true! You have not dared to do that! Berent. The facts are exactly as I state. Tjaelde. Give me my balance-sheet; let me look at it again. (Stretches out his hand to take it.) Berent (taking it up). Excuse me! Tjaelde. Do you presume to keep back my own balance-sheet in my own writing? Berent. Yes, and even to put it in my pocket. (Does so.) A fraudulent balance-sheet, dated and signed, is a document of some importance. Tjaelde. You are determined to ruin my private and public reputation? Berent. You have been working for that yourself for a long time. I know your position. For a month past I have been in correspondence with all the quarters in which you have business connections, both here any I abroad. Tjaelde. What underhanded deceitfulness an honest man is exposed to! Here have I been surrounded by spies for the last month! A plot between my business acquaintances and the banks! A snake creeping into my house and crawling over my accounts! But I will break up the conspiracy! And you will find out what it mean, to try and ruin a reputable firm by underhand devices! Berent. This is no time for fine phrases. Do you propose to surrender your property at once? Tjaelde. Ha, ha! I am to surrender it because you have made me out a bankrupt on your bit of paper! Berent. You might conceal the facts for a month, I know. But for your own sake, and especially for the sake of others, I would urgently advise you to end the matter at once. That was the reason of my journey here. Tjaelde. Ah, now the truth is out! And you came here pretending a friendly concern that the tangle should be straightened out! We were to distinguish between the sound and unsound firms, and you requested me, most politely, to give you my assistance in the matter! Berent. Exactly. But there is no question of anything unsound here except your own business and what is bound up with it. Tjaelde (when he has controlled himself). So you came into my house with the hidden design of ruining me? Berent. I must repeat that it is not I that am responsible for your bankruptcy; it is yourself. Tjaelde. And I must repeat that my bankruptcy only exists in your imagination! Much may happen in a month; and I have shown that I can find a way out of difficulties before now! Berent. That is to say, by involving yourself deeper and deeper in falsehood. Tjaelde. Only a man of business can understand such things. But, if you really understand them, I would say to you: "Give me L20,000 and I will save the situation entirely." That would be doing something worthy of your great powers; that would give you a reputation for penetration in discerning the real state of affairs; because by so doing you would safeguard the welfare of more than a thousand people, and ensure a prosperous future for the whole district! Berent. I don't rise to that bait. Tjaelde (after a moment's reflection). Do you want me to explain to you how L20,000 would be sufficient to set the whole complicated situation straight? Within three months remittances would be coming in. I can make it its clear as daylight to you-- Berent.--that you would be falling from one disillusionment to another! That is what you have been doing for the last three years, from month to month. Tjaelde. Because the last three years have been bad years--horrible years! But we have reached the crisis; things must begin to improve now! Berent. That is what every defaulter thinks. Tjaelde. Do not drive me to despair! Have you any idea what I have gone through in these three years? Have you any idea what I am capable of? Berent. Of still further falsehood. Tjaelde. Take care!--It is quite true that I am standing on the edge of a precipice. It is true that for three years I have done everything in mortal power to save the situation! I maintain that there has been something heroic in the fight I have made. And that deserves some reward. You have unrestricted powers; every one trusts you. Realise for yourself what your mission is; do not let it be necessary for me to teach it you! Let me tell you this, emphatically: it will be a dreadful thing for _you_ if hundreds of people are to be ruined unnecessarily now! Berent. Let us make an end of this. Tjaelde. No, devil take me if I give up a fight like this with a senseless surrender! Berent. How do you propose to end it, then? Tjaelde. There is no issue to it that I have not turned over in my thoughts--thousands of times. _I_ know what I shall do! I won't be a mark for the jeers of this wretched little town, nor triumphed over by those who have envied me all round the countryside! Berent. What will you do, then? Tjaelde. You shall see! (Speaking more and more excitedly.) You won't help me under any conditions? Berent. No. Tjaelde. You insist that I shall surrender my estate, here and now? Berent. Yes. Tjaelde. Hell and damnation! You dare do that? Berent. Yes. Tjaelde (his agitation robbing him of his voice, which all at once sinks to a hoarse whisper). You have never known what despair is!--You don't know what an existence I have endured!-But if the decisive moment has come, and I have a man here in my office who _ought_ to save me but will not, then that man shall share what is in store for me. Berent (leaning back in his chair). This is beginning to be impressive. Tjaelde. No more jesting; you might regret it! (Goes to all the doors and locks them with a key which he takes out of his pocket; then unlocks his desk, and takes a revolver out of it.) How long do you suppose I have had this in here? Berent. Since you bought it, I suppose. Tjaelde. And why do you suppose I bought it?--Do you suppose that after I have been master of this town and the biggest man in the district, I would endure the disgrace of bankruptcy? Berent. You have been enduring it for a long time. Tjaelde. It is in your power now either to ruin me or to wave me. You have behaved in such a way that you deserve no mercy--and you shall have none! Report to the banks that they may give me the use of L14,000 for a year--I need no more than that--and I will save the situation for good and all. Think seriously, now! Remember my family, remember how long my firm has been established, remember the numbers that would be ruined if I were! And do not forget to think of your own family! Because, if you _don't_ agree to what I ask, neither of us shall leave this room alive! Berent (pointing to the revolver). Is it loaded? Tjaelde (putting his finger on the trigger). You will find that out in good time. You must answer me now! Berent. I have a suggestion to make. Shoot yourself first and me afterwards. Tjaelde (going up to him and holding the revolver to his head). I will soon quiet your pretty wit. Berent (getting up, and taking out of his pocket a paper which he unfolds). This is a formal surrender of your estate to the Receiver in Bankruptcy. If you sign it, you will be doing your duty to your creditors, to your family, and to yourself. Shooting yourself and me would only be adding an acted lie to all your others. Put away your revolver and take up your pen! Tjaelde. Never! I had resolved on this long ago. But you shall keep me company, now! Berent. Do what you please. But you cannot threaten me into a falsehood. Tjaelde (who has lowered the revolver, takes a step back, raises the revolver and aims at BERENT). Very well! Berent (walking up to TJAELDE and looking him straight in the eyes, while the latter reluctantly lowers the revolver). Do you suppose I don't know that a man who has for so long shivered with falsehood and terror in his inmost heart has lots of schemes but no courage? You _dare_ not do it! Tjaelde (furiously). I will show you! (Steps back and raises the revolver again.) Berent (following him). Shoot, and you will hear a report--that is what you are longing for, I suppose! Or, give up your plan of shooting, think of what you have done, confess, and afterwards hold your tongue! Tjaelde. No; may the devil take both you and me-- Berent. And the horse? Tjaelde. The horse? Berent. I mean the magnificent charger on which you came galloping home from the sale of Moeller's estate. You had better let some one shoot you on horseback--on what was your last and greatest piece of business duplicity! (Goes nearer to him and speaks more quietly.) Or--strip yourself of the tissue of lies which enfolds you, and your bankruptcy will bring you more blessing than your riches have ever done. (TJAELDE lets the revolver drop out of his hand, and sinks into a chair in an outburst of tears. There is silence for a moment.) You have made an amazing fight of it for these last three years. I do not believe I know any one who could have done what you have done. But you have lost the fight this time. Do not shrink now from a final settlement and the pain that it must cost you. Nothing else will cleanse your soul for you. Tjaelde (weeping unrestrainedly, with his face buried in his hands). Oh, oh! Berent. You have blamed me for my method of proceeding in the matter. My answer to that is that I forgive you for yours. (A pause.) Try now to look the situation in the face, and take it like a man. Tjaelde (as before). Oh! Berent. At the bottom of your heart you must be weary of it all; make an end of it all now! Tjaelde (as before). Oh! Berent (sitting down beside him, after a moment's pause). Wouldn't you like to feel your conscience clear again--to be able really to live with your wife and children? Because I am sure you have not done that for many a day. Tjaelde (as before). Oh! Berent. I have known many speculators in my time and have received many confessions. So I know what you have been robbed of for three years--never a good night's rest, never a meal eaten with a light heart. You have scarcely been conscious of what your children were doing or saying, except when accident brought you together. And your wife-- Tjaelde. My wife! Berent. Yes, she has slaved hard enough to prepare these banquets that were to conceal the nakedness of the land. Indeed, she has been the hardest worked servant in your house. Tjaelde. My patient, good wife! Berent. I feel certain you would rather be the humblest labourer earning your daily bread than live through such suffering again. Tjaelde. A thousand times rather! Berent. Then can you hesitate to do what will give every man his due, and bring you back to truthfulness again? Take the paper and sign it! Tjaelde (falling on his knees). Mercy, mercy! You do not know what you are asking me. My own children will curse me. I have just heard of a child doing that to her father! And my business friends, who will be ruined with me--numbers of them--think of their families! Oh! What is to become of my work-people? Do you know there are more than four hundred of them? Think of them and their families, robbed of their livelihood!--Be merciful! I cannot, I dare not, do it! Save me, help me! It was horrible of me to try and threaten you; but now I implore you, for the sake of all those that deserve more than I, but to whom I shall devote the rest of my life in loyal work! Berent. I cannot save you, least of all with money that belongs to others. What you ask me to do would be disloyalty to them. Tjaelde. No, no! Publish my accounts openly--put me under trustees, if you like; but let me go on with the scheme that I believe will succeed! Every clear-headed man will see that it must succeed! Berent. Come and sit down. Let us discuss it. (TJAELDE sits down.) Isn't what you are now proposing exactly what you have been trying to do for the last three years? You _have_ been able to borrow the means; but what good has it done? Tjaelde. Times have been so bad! Berent (shaking his head). You have mixed up falsehood and truth for so long that you have forgotten the simplest laws of commerce. To speculate during bad times, on the chance of their becoming better, is all very well for those who can afford it. Others must leave such things alone. Tjaelde. But it is to the advantage of my creditors themselves, and of the banks too, that my estate should hold together! Berent. It is of no advantage to sound firms to prop up unsound ones. Tjaelde. But, surely, to avoid losing their capital--? Berent, Oh, perhaps in the Receiver's hands the estate may-- Tjaelde (hopefully, half rising from his chair). Yes? Well? Berent. But not till you have been removed from the control of it. Tjaelde (sinking down again). Not till I have been removed from the control of it! Berent. On _its own_ resources I dare say the estate can hold out until better times come, but not on borrowed money. Tjaelde. Not on borrowed money-- Berent. You understand the difference, of course? Tjaelde. Oh, yes. Berent. Good. Then you must understand that there is nothing left for you to do but to sign this. Tjaelde. Nothing left but to sign-- Berent. Here is the paper. Come, now! Tjaelde (rousing himself). Oh, I cannot, I cannot! Berent. Very well. But in that case the crash will come of itself in a short time, and everything will be worse than it is now. Tjaelde (falling on his knees).Mercy, mercy! I cannot let go of all hope! Think, after a fight like mine! Berent. Tell the truth and say: "I haven't the courage to face the consequences." Tjaelde. Yes, that is the truth. Berent. "I haven't the courage to begin an honest life." Tjaelde. Yes. Berent. You don't know what you are saying, man! Tjaelde. No, I don't. But spare me! Berent (getting up). This is nothing but despair! I am sorry for you. Tjaelde (getting up). Yes, surely you must be? Try me! Ask me to do anything you like! Tell me what you-- Berent. No, no! Before anything else, you must sign this. Tjaelde (sinking back into his chair). Oh!--How shall I ever dare to look any one in the face again?--I, who, have defied everything and deceived every one! Berent. The man who has enjoyed the respect which he did not deserve must some day undergo the humiliation which he has deserved. That is a law; and I cannot save you from that. Tjaelde. But they will be crueller to me than to any one else! I deserve it, I know; but I shall not be able to endure it! Berent. Hm! You are remarkably tough; your fight, these last three years, proves that. Tjaelde. Be merciful! Surely your ingenuity--your influence--_must_ be able to find some way out for me? Berent. Yes. The way out is for you to sign this. Tjaelde. Won't you even take it over from me by private contract? If you did that, everything would come right. Berent. Sign! Here is the paper! Every hour is precious. Tjaelde. Oh! (Takes up a pen; but turns to BERENT with a gesture of supplication.) Daren't you test me, after what I have just gone through? Berent. Yes, when you have signed. (TJAELDE signs the paper, and sinks back in his chair with an expression of the keenest anguish. BERENT takes the paper, folds it, and puts it in his pocket-book.) Now I will go to the Bankruptcy Court with this, and afterwards to the telegraph office. Probably the officials of the court will come this evening to make their inventory. So you ought to warn your family. Tjaelde. How shall I be able to do that? Give me a little time! Be merciful! Berent. The sooner the better for you--not to speak of the interests of all concerned. Well, I have finished for the present. Tjaelde. Don't desert me like this! Don't desert me! Berent. You would like your wife to come to you, wouldn't you? Tjaelde (resignedly). Yes. Berent (taking up the revolver). And this--I will not take it with me. There is no danger from it now. But I will put it in the desk, for the sake of the others. Now, if you or yours should need me, send word to me. Tjaelde. Thank you. Berent. I shall not leave the town until the worst is over.--Remember, night or day, if you need me, send word to me. Tjaelde. Thank you. Berent. And now will you unlock the door for me? Tjaelde (getting up). Ah, of course. Excuse me! Berent (taking his hat and coat). Won't you call your wife now? Tjaelde. No. I must have a little time first. I have the worst part of it before me now. Berent. I believe you have, and that is just why--. (Takes hold of the bell-pull and rings the bell.) Tjaelde. What are you doing? Berent. I want, before I go, to be sure of your wife's coming to you. Tjaelde. You should not have done that! (An office-boy comes in. BERENT looks at TJAELDE.) Ask your mistress--ask my wife to come to me. Berent. At once, please. (The boy goes out.) Good-bye! (Goes out. TJAELDE sinks down on to a chair by the door.) [The Curtain falls.] ACT III (SCENE.-The same as in the preceding act. TJAELDE is sitting alone, on the chair by the door, in the position he was in when the curtain fell on the last act. After sitting motionless for a considerable time, he suddenly gets up.) Tjaelde. How am I to begin? After her, there are the children; after them, all my work-people--and then all the others! If only I could get away! But the Receiver's men will be here.--I must have some air! (Goes to the nearest window.) What a beautiful day!--but not for me. (Opens the window and looks out.) My horse! No, I daren't look at it. Why is it saddled? Oh, of course I meant, after my talk with Berent, to--. But now everything is different! (Walks up and down once or twice, thinking; then says suddenly:) Yes, on that horse I might reach the outer harbour before the foreign boat sails! (Looks at his watch.) I can do it! And I shall be able to put behind me all--. (Stops, with a start, as he hears footsteps on the stair.) Who is there? What is it? (MRS. TJAELDE comes down the stair into the room.) Mrs. Tjaelde. You sent for me? Tjaelde. Yes. (Watching her.) Were you upstairs? Mrs. Tjaelde. Yes, I was resting. Tjaelde (sympathetically). Ah, you were sleeping, and I woke you up! Mrs. Tjaelde. No, I was not asleep. (She has come slowly forward.) Tjaelde. You weren't asleep? (Apprehensively, to her.) I suppose you didn't--? (To himself.) No, I daren't ask her. Mrs. Tjaelde. What did you want? Tjaelde. I wanted--. (Sees her eyes fixed on the revolver.) You are surprised at my having that out? I got it out because I am going on a journey. Mrs. Tjaelde (supporting herself on the desk). Going on a journey? Tjaelde. Yes. Mr. Berent has been here, as I dare say you know. (She does not answer.) Business, you know. I have to go abroad. Mrs. Tjaelde (faintly). Abroad? Tjaelde. Only for a few days. So I will only take my usual bag with a change of clothes and one or two shirts; but I must have it at once. Mrs. Tjaelde. I don't think your bag has been unpacked since you brought it home to-day. Tjaelde. So much the better. Will you get it for me? Mrs. Tjaelde. Are you going away now--at once? Tjaelde. Yes, by the foreign boat--from the outer harbour. Mrs. Tjaelde. You have no time to lose, then. Tjaelde. Are you not well? Mrs. Tjaelde. Not very. Tiwlde. One of your attacks? Mrs. Tjaelde. Yes!--but I must fetch your bag. (TJAELDE helps her over to the staircase.) Tjaelde. You are not well, my dear--but you will be better some day. Mrs. Tjaelde. I only wish _you_ looked better. Tjaelde. We all have our burdens to bear. Mrs. Tjaelde. If only we could bear more together! Tjaelde. But you don't understand my affairs--and I have never had time to talk about yours. Mrs. Tjaelde. No--that's it. (Begins to go upstairs slowly.) Tjaelde. Shall I help you? Mrs. Tjaelde. No, thank you, dear. Tjaelde (coming forward). Does she suspect? She is always like that--she takes all my courage away from me. But there is no other way! Now--about money? I surely have some gold here somewhere. (Goes to his desk, takes some gold out of a drawer and counts it; then lifts his head and sees MRS. TJAELDE who has sat down on the stair half-way up.) My dear, are you sitting down? Mrs. Tjaelde. I felt faint for a moment. I will go up now. (Gets up and climbs the stair slowly.) Tjaelde. Poor thing, she is worn out. (Pulls himself together.) No--five, six, eight, ten--that is not enough. I must have some more. (Searches in the desk.) And when I run short I have my watch and chain. Twenty, twenty-four--that is all I can find. Ah, my papers! I must on no account forget them. The ground is falling away under me! Isn't she coming back? The bag was packed, surely?--Ah, how all this will make her suffer! But it will not be so bad for her if I am away. People will be more merciful, both to her and the children. Oh, my children! (Collects himself.) Only let me get away, away! Thoughts will follow me there, all the same!--Ah, here she is! (MRS. TJAELDE is seen coming down slowly, with a bag which is evidently, heavy.) Shall I help you, dear? Mrs. Tjaelde. Thanks, will you take hold of the bag? Tjaelde (takes it; she comes slowly down). It is heavier than it was this morning. Mrs. Tjaelde. Is it? Tjaelde. I have some papers to put in it. (Opens the bag.) But, my dear, there is money in this bag. Mrs. Tjaelde. Yes--some gold that you have given me at odd times. I thought it might be useful to you now. Tjaelde. There is a large sum. Mrs. Tjaelde. I don't believe you even know how much you have given me. Tjaelde. She knows everything!--My dear! (Opens his arms.) Mrs. Tjaelde. Henning! (They both burst into tears and fall into each other's arms. MRS. TJAELDE whispers to him:) Shall I call the children? Tjaelde (in a whisper). No, say nothing--till later! (They embrace again. He takes up the bag.) Go to the window, so that I can see you when I mount. (Shuts the bag and hurries to the door, but stops.) My dear! Mrs. Tjaelde. Yes? Tjaelde. Forgive me! Mrs. Tjaelde. Everything! (TJAELDE, as he is hurrying out, meets in the doorway an office-boy who is bringing him a letter. TJAELDE takes it, and the boy goes out.) Tjaelde. From Berent! (Opens the letter, stands in the doorway and reads it; then comes back into the room, with his bag in his hand, and reads it again.) "When I left your house, I saw a horse standing saddled at your door. To prevent misunderstanding, let me inform you that your house is watched by the police." Mrs. Tjaelde (supporting herself on the desk). You can't go? Tjaelde. No. (A pause. He puts down the bag and wipes his forehead.) Mrs. Tjaelde. Henning, shall we pray together? Tjaelde. What do you mean? Mrs. Tjaelde. Pray--pray to God to help us? (Bursts into tears. TJAELDE is silent. She falls on her knees.) Come, Henning! You see that all human ingenuity is of no avail! Tjaelde. I know that, only too well. Mrs. Tjaelde. Well, try once, in this hour of our greatest need! (TJAELDE appears to be struggling with his emotion.) You never would! You have never confided in us, or in your God!--never opened your heart to any one! Tjaelde. Be quiet! Mrs. Tjaelde. But what you concealed by day, you used to talk of in the night. We mortals must talk, you know! But I have lain awake and listened to your distress. Now you know why I am no longer good for anything. No sleep at night, and none of your confidence in the daytime. I have suffered even more than you. (TJAELDE throws himself into a chair. She goes to him.) You wanted to run away. When we are afraid of our fellow-men, we have only Him to turn to. Do you think I should be alive now, if it were not for Him? Tjaelde. I have thrown myself imploringly at His feet, but always in vain! Mrs. Tjaelde. Henning, Henning! Tjaelde. Why did He not bless my work and the fight I was making? It is all one now. Mrs. Tjaelde. Ah, there is more to come. Tjaelde (getting up). Yes, the worst is before us now-- Mrs. Tjaelde.--because it is in our own hearts! (A pause. VALBORG appears coming down the stair, but stops at the sight of the others.) What do you want, dear? Valborg (with suppressed emotion). From my room I can see the police watching the house. Are the Receiver's men coming now? Mrs. Tjaelde (sitting down). Yes, my child. After a terrible struggle--how terrible, his God and I alone know--your father has just sent in his declaration of bankruptcy. (VALBORG takes a step or two forward, then stands still. A pause.) Tjaelde (unable to control himself). Now I suppose you will say to me just what Moeller's daughter said to him! Mrs. Tjaelde (getting up). You won't do that, Valborg!--God alone can judge him. Tjaelde. Tell me how cruelly I have wronged you! Tell me that you will never be able to forgive me--(breaking down)--that I have lost your respect and your love for ever! Mrs. Tjaelde. Oh, my child! Tjaelde. That your anger and your shame know no bounds! Valborg. Oh, father, father! (Goes out by the door at the back. TJAELDE tries to cross the room, as if to follow her, but can only stagger as far as the staircase, to which he clings for support. MRS. TJAELDE sinks back into her chair. There is a long pause. Suddenly JAKOBSEN cones in from the outer once, dressed as before except that he has changed his coat. TJAELDE is not aware of his entrance until JAKOBSEN is close to him; then he stretches out his hands to him as if in entreaty, but JAKOBSEN goes right up to him and speaks in a voice choked with rage.) Jakobsen. You scoundrel! (TJAELDE recoils.) Mrs. Tjaelde. Jakobsen! Jakobsen! Jakobsen (without heeding her). The Receiver's men are here. The books and papers at the Brewery have been seized. Work is at a standstill--and the same thing at the factory. Mrs. Tjaelde. My God! Jakobsen. And I had made myself responsible for twice as much as I possessed! (He speaks low, but his voice vibrates with anger and emotion.) Mrs. Tjaelde. Dear Jakobsen! Jakobsen (turning to her). Didn't I say to him, every time he told me to sign, "But I don't possess as much as that! It's not right!"--But he used to answer, "It is only a matter of form, Jakobsen." "Yes, but not an honourable form," I used to say. "It is a matter of form in business," he would say; "all business folk do it." And all I knew of business, I had learnt from him; so I trusted him. (With emotion.) And he made me do it time after time. And now I owe more than I shall ever be able to pay, all my life. I shall live and die a dishonoured man. What have you to say to that, Mrs. Tjaelde? (She does not answer him. He turns angrily upon TJAELDE.) Do you hear? Even _she_ can find nothing to say!--Scoundrel! Mrs. Tjaelde. Jakobsen! Jakobsen (in a voice broken with emotion). I have nothing but the deepest respect for you, Mrs. Tjaelde. But, you see, he has made me swindle other people! In his name I shall have ruined numbers of them. They trusted me, you see; just as I trusted him. I used to tell them that he was a benefactor to the whole countryside, and that therefore they ought to help him in these hard times. And now there will be many an honest family robbed of house and home by our treachery. And that is what he has brought me to! What heartless cruelty! (To TJAELDE.) I can tell I feel inclined to--. (Takes a threatening step towards him.) Mrs. Tjaelde (getting up). For my sake, Jakobsen! Jakobsen (restraining himself). Yes, for your sake, ma'am; because I have the deepest respect for you. But how am I to face all those poor creatures that I have ruined? It will do them no good to explain to them how it has happened; that won't help them to get their daily bread! How shall I face my own wife! (With emotion.) She has had such faith in me, and in those I trusted. And my children, too? It is very hard on children, because they hear so much talk in the street. It won't be long before they hear what sort of a father they have got; and they will hear it from the children of the men I have ruined. Mrs. Tjaelde. As you feel how hard it is yourself, that should make you willing to spare others. Be merciful! Jakobsen. I have the deepest respect for you; but it is hard that in my home we should never again be able to eat a crust that we can properly call our own--for I owe more than I can ever live to repay! That is hard, Mrs. Tjaelde! What will become of my evenings with my children now?--of our Sundays together? No, I mean that he shall hear the truth from me. (Turns upon TJAELDE.) You scoundrel! You shan't escape me! (TJAELDE shrinks back in terror and tries to reach the office door, but at that moment the RECEIVER comes in, followed by two of his clerks and SANNAES. TJAELDE crosses the room, staggers to his desk, and leans upon it with his back turned to the newcomers.) The Receiver (coming up behind Tjaelde). Excuse me! May I have your books and papers? (TJAELDE gives a start, moves away to the stove, and supports himself on it.) Jakobsen (in a whisper, standing over him). Scoundrel! (TJAELDE moves away from him and sits down on a chair by the door, hiding his face in his hands.) Mrs. Tjaelde (getting up and whispering to JAKOBSEN), Jakobsen! Jakobsen! (He comes towards her.) He has never deliberately cheated any one! He has never been what you say, and never will be! (Sits down again.) Jakobsen. I have the deepest respect for _you_, Mrs. Tjaelde. But if _he_ is not a liar and swindler, there is no truth in anything! (Bursts into tears. MRS. TJAELDE hides her face in her hands as she leans back in her chair. A short silence. Then a confused noise of voices is heard without. The RECEIVER and his men stop their work of sorting and inventorying papers, and all look up.) Mrs. Tjaelde (apprehensively). What is that? (SANNAES and the RECEIVER go to one window, and JAKOBSEN to another.) Jakobsen. It's the hands from the quay and the brewery and the factory and the warehouse. All work is stopped until further orders; but this is pay-day--and there is no pay for them! (The others resume their work.) Tjaelde (coming forward despairingly). I had forgotten that! Jakobsen (going up to him). Well, go out and face them, and they will let you know what you are! Tjaelde (in a low voice, as he takes up his saddle-bag). Here is money, but it is all in gold. Go into the town and get it changed, and pay them! Mrs. Tjaelde. Yes, do, Jakobsen! Jakobsen (in lower tones). If _you_ ask me to, ma'am, I--So there is money in this bag? (Opens it.) And all done up in rolls. He meant to bolt, then!--and with the money his people had lent him. And yet you say he is not a scoundrel! (TJAELDE gives a groan. The noise of voices without grows louder.) Mrs. Tjaelde (in a low voice). Be quick, or we shall have them in here. Jakobsen. I will go. The Receiver (interposing). Excuse me, but nothing must be taken away from here until it has been examined and inventoried. Jakobsen. It is pay-day, and this is the money for the wages. Mrs. Tjaelde. Jakobsen is responsible for it, and will account for it. The Receiver. Oh, that alters the case. Mr. Jakobsen is a man of integrity. (Goes back to his work.) Jakobsen (to MRS. TJAELDE, in a low voice full of emotion). Did you hear that, Mrs. Tjaelde? He called me a man of integrity--and very soon not a single soul will call me that! (Goes out past TJAELDE to whom he whispers as he passes:) Scoundrel! I shall come back again! The Receiver (going up to TJAELDE). Excuse me, but I must ask you for the keys of your private rooms and cupboards. Mrs. Tjaelde (answering for her husband). My housekeeper shall go with you. Sannaes, here is the key of the cupboard. (SANNAES takes it from her.) The Receiver (looking at TJAELDE'S massive watch-chain). Whatever article of dress can be called a necessary, we have nothing to do with; but if it happens that it comrises jewellery of any great value--. (TJAELDE begins to take off the watch-chain.) No, no; keep it on. But it will have to be included in the inventory. Tjaelde. I don't wish to keep it. The Receiver. As you please. (Signs to one of his clerks to take it.) Good-day! (Meanwhile SIGNE and HAMAR have appeared at the door of the outer office, and have seen what passed. The RECEIVER, SANNAES, and the clerks try to open the door on the right, but find it locked.) This door is locked. Tjaelde (as if waking from a dream). Ah, of course! (Goes to the door and unlocks it.) Signe (rushing to MRS. TJAELDE and falling on her knees beside her). Mother! Mrs. Tjaelde. Yes, dear, the day of our trial has come! And I am afraid--afraid that it may find us all too weak. Signe. Mother, what is to become of us? Mrs. Tjaelde. We are in God's hands. Signe. I will go with Hamar to his aunt's. We will go at once. Mrs. Tjaelde. It is possible that his aunt may not be willing to have you now. Signe. Aunt Ulla! What do you mean? Mrs. Tjaelde. I mean that you have been the rich man's daughter; and you do not know what the world is. Signe. Hamar, do you think Aunt Ulla would refuse to have me? Hamar (after a moment's thought). I don't know. Mrs. Tjaelde. You hear that, my child. In the next few hours you will learn more than you have learnt in all your life. Signe (in a horrified whisper). Do you mean that even--? Mrs. Tjaelde. Hush! (SIGNE hides her face in her mother's lap. A loud burst of laughter is heard outside.) Hamar (going to the nearest window). What is that? (SANNAES comes in through the right-hand door and goes to the other window. TJAELDE, SIGNE and MRS. TJAELDE get up.) The bay horse! They have got hold of it. Sannaes. They have led it up the steps, and are pretending to sell it by auction. Hamar. They are ill-treating it! (SANNAES runs out. HAMAR snatches up the revolver from the desk and looks to see if it is loaded.) I will--! Signe. What are you going to do? (As he starts to go out, she clings to him and prevents him.) Hamar. Let me go! Signe. Tell me first what you are going to do! Do you mean to go out among all those men--alone? Hamar. Yes. Signe (throwing her arms round him). You shan't go! Hamar. Take care, this is loaded! Signe. What are you going to do with it? Hamar (in a determined voice, as he shakes himself free of her). Put a bullet into the poor beast! It is too good for that crew. It shan't be put up for auction, either in joke or in earnest! (Goes to the farther window.) I shall get a better aim from here. Signe (following him, with a cry). You will hit some one! Hamar. No, I can aim too well for that. (Takes aim.) Signe. Father! If they hear a shot from here now-- Tjaelde (starting up). The house belongs to my creditors now--and the revolver too! Hamar. No, I am past taking orders from you now! (TJAELDE snatches at the revolver, which goes off. SIGNE screams and rushes to her mother. Outside, but this time immediately below the window, two cries are heard: "They are shooting at us! They are shooting at us!" Then the noise of breaking glass is heard, and stones fly in through the windows, followed by shouts and ribald laughter. VALBORG, who has rushed in from the outer office, stands in front of her father to protect him, her face turned to the window. A voice is heard: "Follow me, my lads!") Hamar (pointing the revolver at the window). Yes, just you try it! Mrs. Tjaelde and Signe. They are coming in here! Valborg. You shan't shoot! (Stands between him and the window.) Tjaelde. It is Sannaes with the police! (Cries of "Get back, there!" are heard; then a renewed uproar and a loud voice gradually dominating it; until at last the noise gradually lessens and ceases.) Mrs. Tjaelde. Thank God! We were in great danger. (Sinks into a chair. A pause.) Henning, where are you? (TJAELDE comes up behind her, and strokes her head with his hand, but turns away immediately to hide his deep emotion. A pause.) Signe (on her knees by her mother's side). But won't they come back? Hadn't we better go away from here? Mrs. Tjaelde. Where to? Signe (despairingly). What is to become of us? Mrs. Tjaelde. What God wills. (A pause. Meanwhile HAMAR, unobserved, has laid down the revolver on a chair and slipped out of the room by the door at the back.) Valborg (softly). Signe, look! (SIGNE gets up, looks round the room, and gives a little cry.) Mrs. Tjaelde. What is it? Signe. I knew he would! Mrs. Tjaelde (apprehensively). What is it? Valborg. Every rich family has its tame lieutenant--and ours has just left us. That's all. Mrs. Tjaelde (getting up). Signe, my child! Signe (throwing herself into her arms). Mother! Mrs. Tjaelde. There will be no more pretence now. Do not let us regret it! Signe (in tears). Mother, mother! Mrs. Tjaelde. Things are better as they are. Do you hear, dear? Don't cry! Signe. I am not crying! but I feel so ashamed--oh, so ashamed! Mrs. Tjaelde. It is I that ought to feel ashamed for never having had the courage to put a stop to what I saw was folly. Signe (as before). Mother! Mrs. Tjaelde. Soon there will be no one else left to desert us; and we shall have nothing left that any one can rob us of, either. Valborg (comes forward evidently labouring under great emotion). Yes, there is, mother; _I_ mean to desert you. Signe. You, Valborg? Desert us? You? Valborg. Our home is going to be broken up, anyway. Each of us ought to shift for herself. Signe. But what am I to do? I don't know how to do anything. Mrs. Tjaelde (who has sunk back into her chair). What a bad mother I must have been, not to be able to keep my children together now! Valborg (impetuously). You know we cannot stay together now! You know we cannot put up with living on the charity of our creditors; we have done that too long! Mrs. Tjaelde. Hush, remember your father is in the room. (A pause.) What do you want to do, Valborg? Valborg (after she has regained her self-control, quietly). I want to go into Mr. Holst's office, and learn commercial work--and keep myself. Mrs. Tjaelde. You don't know what you are undertaking. Valborg. But I know what I am leaving. Signe. And I shall only be a burden to you, mother, because I can't do anything-- Valborg. You _can_! Go out and earn a living; even if it is only as a servant, what does that matter? Don't live on our creditors--not for a day, not for an hour! Signe. And what is to become of mother, then? Mrs. Tjaelde. Your mother will stay with your father. Signe. But all alone? You, who are so ill? Mrs. Tjaelde. No, not alone! Your father and I will be together. (TJAELDE comes forward, kisses the hand she has stretched out to him, and falls on his knees by her chair, burying his face in her lap. She strokes his hair gently.) Forgive your father, children. That is the finest thing you can do. (TJAELDE gets up again and goes back to the other end of the room. A messenger comes in with a letter.) Signe (turning round anxiously). It is a letter from him! I can't stand any more! I won't have it! (The messenger hands the letter to TJAELDE.) Tjaelde. I accept no more letters. Valborg (looking at the letter). It is from Sannaes? Tjaelde. He, too! Mrs. Tjaelde. Take it and read it, Valborg. Let us get it all over at once. (VALBORG takes the letter from the messenger, who goes out. She opens the letter, looks at it, and then reads it with emotion.) "Sir,--I have owed you everything since I entered your employment as a boy. Therefore do not take what I am going to say amiss. You know that about eight years ago I came into a little legacy. I have used the money to some advantage, having especially looked out for such investments as would not be affected by the uncertainties of high finance. The total sum, which now amounts to about L1400, I beg to offer to you as a token of respectful gratitude; because, in the end, I owe it to you that I have been able to make it that sum. Besides, you will be able to make many times better use of it than I could. If you need me, my dearest wish is to remain with you in the future. Forgive me for having seized just this moment for doing this; I could not do otherwise.--Your obedient servant, J. SANNAES." (While VALBORG has been reading, TJAELDE has come gradually forward, and is now standing beside his wife.) Mrs. Tjaelde. Though out of all those you have helped, Henning, only one comes to your aid at a time like this, you must feel that you have your reward. (TJAELDE nods, and goes to the back of the room again.) And you, children--do you see how loyally this man, a stranger, is standing by your father? (A pause. SIGNE stands by the desk, crying. TJAELDE walks up and down uneasily at the back of the room once or twice, then goes up the staircase.) Valborg. I should like to speak to Sannaes. Mrs. Tjaelde. Yes, do, dear! I couldn't, just now; and I am sure your father couldn't either. You speak to him! (Gets up.) Come, Signe, you and I must have a talk; you must open your heart to me now.--Ah, when have we ever had a real talk together? (SIGNE goes to her.) Where is your father? Valborg. He went upstairs. Mrs. Tjaelde (leaning on SIGNE's arm). So he did. I am sure he must be longing to rest--although he won't find it easy to do that. It has been a terrible day; but surely God will turn it to our good! (Goes out with SIGNE. VALBORG goes to the back of the room and rings the bell. A messenger comes.) Valborg. If Mr. Sannaes is out there, please ask him to be so good as to come in here for a moment. (The messenger goes out.) Perhaps he won't come, when he hears it is I. (Listens.) Yes, he is coming! (SANNAES comes in, but stops short when he sees VALBORG, and hurriedly puts his hands behind his back.) Sannaes. Is it you, Miss Valborg, that want me? Valborg. Please come in. (SANNAES takes a few timid steps forward. VALBORG speaks in a more friendly tone.) Come in, then! (SANNAES comes further into the room.) Valborg. You have written a letter to my father. Sannaes (after a moment's pause). Yes. Valborg. And made him a most generous offer. Sannaes (as before). Oh, well--it was only natural that I should. Valborg. Do you think so? It doesn't seem so to me. It is an offer that honours the man that made it. (A pause.) Sannaes. I hope he means to accept it? Valborg. I don't know. Sannaes (sadly, after a moment's pause). Then he doesn't mean to? No--I suppose not. Valborg. I honestly don't know. It depends on whether he dare. Sannaes. Whether he dare? Valborg. Yes. (A pause.) Sannaes (evidently very shy of VALBORG). Have you any more orders for me, Miss Valborg? Valborg (with a smile). Orders? I am not giving you orders.--You have offered also to stay with my father for the future. Sannaes. Yes--that is to say, if he wishes me to. Valborg. I don't know. In that case there would be only he and my mother and you; no one else. Sannaes. Indeed? What about the others, then? Valborg. I don't know for certain what my sister means to do--but I am leaving home to-day. Sannaes. Then you are going to-- Valborg.--to try and get a clerkship somewhere. So that it will be a bit lonely for you to be in my father's employment now. (A pause.) I expect you had not thought of it in that light? Sannaes. No--yes--that is to say, your father will have all the more need of me then. Valborg. Indeed he will. But what sort of a prospect is it for you to bind up your fortunes with my father's? The future is so very problematical, you know. Sannaes. What sort of a prospect--? Valborg. Yes, a young man should have some sort of a prospect before him. Sannaes. Yes--of course; that is to say, I only thought that at first it would be so difficult for him. Valborg. But I am thinking of you. Surely you have some plans for the future? Sannaes (embarrassed). Really I would rather not talk about myself. Valborg. But I want to.--You have something else in reserve, then? Sannaes. Well--if I must tell you--I have some well-to-do relations in America who have for a long time wanted me to go over there. I should soon be able to get, a good situation there. Valborg. Indeed?--But why haven't you accepted such a good offer long before this? (SANNAES does not answer.) You must have been sacrificing your best interests by staying so long with us? (SANNAES is still silent.) Any! it will be making a still greater sacrifice to stay with us now-- Sannaes (struggling with his embarrassment). I have never thought of it as being that. Valborg. But my father can scarcely accept so much from you. Sannaes (in alarm). Why not? Valborg. Because it really would be too much.--And, in any case, I shall try to prevent him. Sannaes (almost imploringly). You, Miss Valborg? Valborg. Yes. You must not be misemployed any longer. Sannaes. Misemployed? In what I _myself_ desire so much? Valborg. When I have talked it over with my father, I think he will see my point. Sannaes (anxiously). What do you mean? Valborg (after a moment's reflection).--I mean, the reason of your having made such great sacrifices for us--and of your being willing to make still greater now. (A pause. SANNAES hangs his head, and is raising his hands to hide his face, when suddenly he puts them behind his back again. VALBORG continues, in gentle but firm tones:) I have taught myself, all my life, to look behind deeds and words for their motives. Sannaes (quietly, without raising his head). You have taught yourself to be cruelly bitter, hard and unjust. Valborg (starts, but collects herself, and says gently:) Don't say that, Mr. Sannaes! It is not hard-heartedness or bitterness that makes me think of your future now--and makes me wish to spare you disappointment. Sannaes (with a cry of pain). Miss Valborg! Valborg. Be honest with yourself, and you will be able to take a fairer view of what I have just said. Sannaes. Have you any more orders, Miss Valborg? Valborg. I give you no orders, as I have told you already. I am only bidding you good-bye; and I do it with grateful thanks to you for all your goodness to me--and to us all. Good-bye and good luck, Mr. Sannaes. (SANNAES bows.)Won't you shake hands? Ah, I forgot--I offended you. I beg your pardon for that. (SANNAES bows and turns to go.) Come, Mr. Sannaes--let us at least part as good friends! You are going to America, and I am going among strangers. Let us go away wishing one another well. Sannaes (moved). Good-bye, Miss Valborg. (Turns to go.) Valborg. Mr. Sannaes--shake hands! Sannaes (stopping). No, Miss Valborg. Valborg. Don't treat me uncivilly; I have not deserved that. (SANNAES again turns to go.) Mr. Sannaes! Sannaes (stopping). You might soil your fingers, Miss Valborg! (Walks proudly away.) Valborg (controlling herself with an effort). Well, we have offended each other now. But why should we not forgive each other as well? Sannaes. Because you have just offended me for the second time to-day--and more deeply than the first time. Valborg. Oh, this is too much! I spoke as I did, because I owed it to myself not to be put in a false position, and owed it to you to spare you future disappointment. And you call that insulting you! Which of us has insulted the other, I should like to know? Sannaes. You have, by thinking such things of me. Do you realise how cruelly you have spoilt the happiest action of my life? Valborg. I have done so quite unintentionally, then. I am only glad that I was mistaken. Sannes (bitterly). You are glad! So it really makes you glad to know that I am not a scoundrel! Valborg (quietly). Who said anything of the kind? Sannaes. You! You know the weak spot in my armour; but that you should on that account believe that I could lay a trap for you and try to trade on your father's misfortune, Miss Valborg--! No, I cannot shake hands with any one who has thought so badly of me as that! And, since you have so persistently insulted me that I have lost all the timidity I used to feel in your presence, let me tell you this openly; these hands (stretching out his hands to her) have grown red and ugly in loyal work for your father, and his daughter should have been above mocking at me for them! (Turns to go, but stops.) And, one word more. Ask your father for _his_ hand now, and hold fast to it, instead of deserting him on the very day that misfortune has overtaken him. That would be more to the point than worrying about _my_ future. I can look after that for myself. (Turns again to go, but comes back.) And when, in his service--which will be no easy service now--your hands bear the same honourable marks of work as mine do, and are as red as mine, then you will perhaps understand how you have hurt me! At present you cannot. (He goes quickly towards the door of the outer office.) Valborg (with a wry smile). What a temper! (More seriously.) And yet, after all--. (Looks after him. Just as SANNAES gets to the door TJAELDE'S voice is heard calling him from the top of the staircase. SANNAES answers him.) Tjaelde (coming down the stairs). Sannaes! Sannaes! I can see Jakobsen coming. (Hurries across the room as if pursued by fear. SANNAES follows him.) Of course he will be coming back to look for me again! It is cowardly of me to feel that I cannot stand it; but I cannot--not to-day, not now! I cannot stand any more! Stop him! Don't let him come in! I shall have to drink my cup of misery to the dregs; but (almost in a whisper) not all at one draught! (Hides his face in his hands.) Sannaes. He shan't come; don't be afraid! (Goes quickly out, with an air of determination.) Tjaelde. It is hard--oh, it is hard! Valborg (coming to his side). Father! (He looks at her, anxiously.) You may safely accept the money Sannaes offers you. Tjaelde (in surprise). What do you mean by that? Valborg. I mean--that, if you do, I will not forsake you either, but stay here with you too. Tjaelde (incredulously). You, Valborg? Valborg. Yes, you know I want to learn office work, and business; and I would rather learn in your office. Tjaelde (shyly). I don't understand what you--? Valborg. Don't you understand, dear? I believe I could become of some use in the office. And in that way, you know, we might begin afresh--and try, with God's help, to pay your creditors. Tjaelde (happily, but shyly). My child! Who put such a happy idea into your head? Valborg (putting an arm round his neck). Father, forgive me for all that I have neglected to do! You shall see how I will try and make up for it! How hard I shall work! Tjaelde (still half incredulous). My child! My child! Valborg. I feel--I cannot tell you how deeply--a craving for love and for work! (Throws both her arms round his neck.) Oh, father, how I love you!--and how I shall work for you! Tjaelde. Ah, that is the Valborg I have waited for, ever since you were a little child! But we had drifted away from one another, somehow. Valborg. No more about the past! Look forward, father, look forward! Concerns "that would not be affected by the uncertainties of high finance,"--weren't those his words? Tjaelde. So you were struck by that expression, too? Valborg. That may mean a future for us now! We will have a home all to ourselves--a little house down on the shore--and I shall help you, and Signe will help mother--we shall know what it is to live, for the first time! Tjaelde. What happiness it will be! Valborg. Only look forward, father! Look forward! A united family is invincible! Tjaelde. And to think that such help should come to me now! Valborg. Yes, now we are all going to our posts--and all together, where formerly you stood alone! You will have good fairies round you; wherever you look, you will see happy faces and busy fingers all day long; and we shall all enjoy our meals and our evenings together, just as we did when we were children! Tjaelde. That, above everything! Valborg. Ha, ha!--it is after the rain that the birds sing blithest, you know! And this time our happiness can never miscarry, because we shall have something worth living for! Tjaelde. Let us go to your mother! This will cheer her heart! Valborg. Ah, how I have learnt to love her! What has happened to-day has taught me. Tjaelde. It is for her that we shall all work now. Valborg. Yes--for her, for her. She shall rest now. Let us go to her! Tjaelde. Kiss me first, my dear. (His voice trembles.) It is so long since you did! Valborg (kissing him). Father! Tjaelde. Now let us go to your mother. (The curtain falls as they go out together.) ACT IV (SCENE.--In the garden of TJAELDE'S new home, on the shore of the fjord, three years later. A view of tranquil sunlit sea, dotted with boats, in the background. On the left a portion of the house is seen, with an open window within which VALBORG is seen writing at a desk. The garden is shaded with birch trees; flower-beds run round the house, and the whole atmosphere one of modest comfort. Two small garden tables and several chairs are in the foreground on the right. A chair standing by itself, further back, has evidently had a recent occupant. When the curtain rises the stage is empty, but VALBORG is visible at the open window. Soon afterwards TJAELDE comes in, wheeling MRS. TJAELDE in an invalid chair.) Mrs. Tjaelde. Another lovely day! Tjaelde. Tjaelde. Lovely! There was not a ripple on the sea last night. I saw a couple of steamers far out, and a sailing ship that had hove to, and the fisher-boats drifting silently in. Mrs. Tjaelde. And think of the storm that was raging two days ago! DRAMATIS PERSONAE The KING. HARALD GRAN, a rich manufacturer. KOLL, Chief Magistrate of the district. FLINK. CLARA ERNST. The PRINCESS. BARONESS MARC. ANNA, a deaf and dumb girl. FALBE. The MAYOR. NATHALIE, his daughter. ALSTAD. VILHELM, his son. The PARISH PRIEST. BANG, a rich trader. VINAeGER. COUNT PLATEN. The GENERAL. MATILDE. A Ballad Singer. A Young Beggar. A Servant of the King's. Ladies and Gentlemen, Masked Dancers, Work-people, Farmers, etc. PROLOGUE (SCENE.--A large gothic hall, brilliantly illuminated, in which a masked ball is taking place. At the rise of the curtain a ballet is being performed in the centre of the hall. Masked dancers are grouped around, watching it. Two of them, women, are conversing on the right of the stage.) First Mask. Have you heard that the King is to be here to-night? Second Mask. Yes, and since I heard it I have been imagining I saw him everywhere. First Mask (pointing). That is not he, is it? Second Mask. He is taller than that. First Mask. That one, then? Look, that one! Second Mask. That one has spoken to me. He has too old a voice. First Mask. Shall we see if we can find him? Second Mask. Yes, come along! (A number of girls, wearing similar costumes and all masked, have meanwhile collected on the left side of the stage.) First Girl. Are we all here? Second Girl. All but Matilde. Matilde. Here I am! Have you heard that the King is to be here? All. Really? Matilde. I don't know how he is dressed; but one of the masters of the ceremonies told me he was to be here. Several of the Girls. The dear King! (Two masked dancers, dressed as Cats, pass by.) Tom Cat. Do you hear that, my pet? Puss. Miau! Matilde. Let us try and discover him. All. Yes, yes! A Mask. And when we have discovered him--? Matilde. Let us all dance round him! All. Yes! Tom Cat (to Puss). You had better look after your virtue, Miss! Puss. Miau! Tom Cat. Miau! (They pass out of sight.) Matilde. Remember that we are all to meet here in a quarter of an hour! All. Yes! (They disperse. The ballet comes to a close amidst universal applause. Conversation among the dancers becomes general and animated. The BARONESS MARC, disguised as an Old Woman, comes forward, talking to another mask dressed as a Donkey.) Baroness. I will never forgive you for that, my lord chamberlain. The Donkey. But you frighten me clean out of my part, Baroness! Baroness. If only I could understand how it happened! The Donkey. After all, my dear Baroness, you cannot be expected to take out all your schoolmistresses and their senior pupils on a leash! Baroness. No, but I have particular reasons for wishing to look closely after _her_. (All this time she has been persistently looking round the room.) And in such a whirling crowd as this-- The Donkey. Let us lose ourselves in it, then! (He brays as they go out. The PRINCESS, masked and dressed in a costume of the time of Louis XV., comes forward accompanied by a Cavalier in a costume of the same period.) Princess (continuing a discussion). And I say that if a king has such graces of mind and person as ours has, he may do anything he pleases. Cavalier. _Anything_, Princess? Princess. Anything that his mind prompts, provided that he do it beautifully. (A GENTLEMAN-IN-WAITING, dressed in a costume of the same period, approaches them.) Gentleman-in-Waiting. I cannot discover him, your Royal Highness! Princess. But he is here. He is _here_. And for a lady's sake. I am certain I am right. Cavalier. But I asked one of the masters of the ceremonies, and he knew nothing about it. Princess. Then it must have been one that has not been let into the secret. Cavalier. But, your Royal Highness-- Princess. Don't keep calling me "your Royal Highness," but get me a description of the costume he is wearing. (The GENTLEMAN-IN-WAITING bows and goes away.) And you and I will go on hunting-- Cavalier.--for the noble huntsman-- Princess.--who is being hunted himself! (Moves away, but stops suddenly.) Who is that? (CLARA ERNST, masked and in peasant costume, comes forward followed by a masked figure wearing a domino. He is whispering to her over her shoulder. She keeps glancing about, as if looking for some one.) The Domino.--and there, in the enchanted castle, buried deep in the wooded park-- Clara. Let me alone! The Domino.--there we shall be greeted by a babbling fountain of water--a nymph, holding the cup of joy high above her head-- Clara (anxiously). What can have become of her? (Meanwhile one of the masked dancers has been following them, and now turns back to join others.) A Masked Dancer (pointing to the DOMINO). That is the King! Another (quickly). But who is _she_? The Domino.--on both sides, shady alleys leading to the doors of a secret retreat; and there-- Clara (turning round). I despise you! (The dancing and music suddenly stop. General consternation.) The Baroness (starting forward as she hears CLARA voice.) Clara! The Domino (taking CLARA's hand and leading her apart from the others). Do you know who it is that you despise? Clara (greatly agitated). Yes, I know who you are!--and that is why, from the bottom of my heart, I despise you! (The music begins afresh, covering the general consternation that has spread among the dancers. The BARONESS comes forward with a cry of "Clara!" CLARA bursts into tears and throws herself into her arms. Curtain.) ACT I SCENE I (SCENE.--A large hall in Gran's factory. The walls are bare. On the left, about half-way forward, is a small platform. A meeting of the shareholders of a railway company is in progress. Facing the platform are seated the gentry; the common herd, mainly farmers and work-people, are sitting and standing about wherever they can find room. On the right, large windows are standing open; through these another crowd can be seen, listening from outside. GRAN is standing in front of the platform, speaking to the meeting.) Gran. And, as it was found impossible for the main line of the railway to touch our town, we determined, rather than allow all our exertions to be wasted, to construct a branch line on our own account. I had the honour to be elected chairman of the board of directors of this undertaking. No directors ever had more unrestricted powers than were given to us--possibly because there were no two opinions as to the route the line should take the natural formation of the ground indicated it unmistakably. It was only when we approached the question of the purchase of our rolling-stock that any dissension arose--not among the directors, but among the shareholders. As the majority of the latter are farmers and work-people, we had decided on buying only one class of railway carriage of a type slightly more comfortable than the ordinary third-class carriage. That is the extent of our misdeeds! To-day's meeting will probably show what the general sense on the matter is. Our powers being unlimited, we were under no obligation to consult any one in the matter; but, notwithstanding that, we decided to call a meeting of the shareholders and submit the question to them. And, on the directors' behalf, I must thank the shareholders for having attended in such numbers; young and old, men and women, I dare say quite a third of the total number of shareholders are present. The meeting will now proceed to elect a chairman. (Sits down.) The Mayor (after a pause). I beg to move that Mr. Koll, our chief magistrate, whom it is a great pleasure to see honouring this meeting with his presence, have the further kindness to take the chair. Gran. The motion before the meeting is that the Chief Magistrate shall take the chair. Shall I assume it to be carried? (Silence follows.) The Mayor. Yes. (Laughter.) Gran. The meeting should preferably elect some one who may be considered to be unaffected by considerations of party. Alstad (half rising, with his glasses in his hand). Then we shall have to send for some one that does not live in these parts! There is no one of that sort left here! (Sits down, amidst laughter.) The Priest. All authority springs from on high. Obedience to those set in authority over us is obedience to the Almighty. But it is against this very obedience that people are rebelling nowadays. Gran. It is precisely some one to be in authority over us that we want to elect. At present we have no one. The Priest. No, that's just it. Every meeting nowadays seems to claim authority on its own account. Let rather show our respect to actual authority--such respect as we would show to our fathers. (Sits down.) Gran. Then, as far as I can grasp the situation, the Chief Magistrate has been proposed and seconded? The Priest. Yes. Gran. Does any one wish to propose any one else? (Silence.) Alstad. May I request the Chief Magistrate to take the chair? Koll (getting up). I don't know that it is any great compliment to be elected in this way; but I will take the chair, for the sole reason of enabling the meeting to proceed to business. (Takes his place on the platform, and raps on the table with a mallet.) I declare the meeting open. Gran (getting up). Mr. Chairman! Koll. Mr. Gran will address the meeting. Gran. The motion proposed by the directors is this: "That only one class of railway carriage shall be purchased, slightly more comfortable than the ordinary third-class carriage." (Gives the motion in writing to the chairman, and sits down.) Koll. The following is the motion submitted to meeting. (Reads it out.) Who wishes to speak on the motion? (Silence.) Come, some one must speak on it--or I shall have to put it to the vote forthwith. (Silence, followed by laughter here and there.) The Priest. Mr. Chairman! Koll. The Priest will address the meeting. The Priest. I see, in this assembly, a number of young men, even a number of maidens; and I feel bound to ask whether young men, and even maidens, are to be allowed to take part in these proceedings? Koll. Any shareholder that is of age has the right to. The Priest. But St. Paul expressly tells us that women are not to speak in public places. Koll. Well, they can hold their tongues, then. (Laughter.) The Priest. But even the fact of voting at a railway meeting does not seem to me to be in accordance with the humility and modesty that both Nature and the Scriptures indicate as characteristic of woman. I believe it to be the first step on a wrong road. The apostle says-- Koll. We must leave them to decide the matter for themselves. Does any one wish to--? The Priest (interrupting him). Mr. Chairman, if you will not permit me to quote the apostle, allow me at all events to say that the spectacle of a young man voting against his father, or a woman voting against her husband-- Koll. Will you tell me who could prohibit it? Does any one wish to speak--? The Priest (interrupting). The Scriptures prohibit it, Mr. Chairman!--the Scriptures, which we are all bound to obey, even-- Gran (getting up and interrupting him). Mr. Chairman! Koll. Mr. Gran will address the meeting. Gran. I only want to ask whether-- The Priest. But _I_ was addressing the meeting! Koll. Mr. Gran will address the meeting. The Priest. I protest against that ruling! Alstad (half rising). Our worthy Priest must obey authority. (Sits down amidst laughter.) The Priest. Not when it does an injustice! I appeal to the meeting! Koll. Very good!--Will those in favour of the Priest addressing the meeting kindly stand up? (No one gets up; and those who were previously standing bob down. Laughter.) Carried unanimously, that the Priest do not address the meeting. (The PRIEST sits down.) Mr. Gran will address the meeting. Gran (getting up). I withdraw from my right! (Renewed laughter.) The Mayor (getting up). Mr. Chairman! Koll. The Mayor will address the meeting. The Mayor. I am one of many to whom this proposal of the directors seems extraordinary, to say the least of it. Do they propose that the ladies of my family--I will leave myself out of the question, for as a public man I have to rub shoulders with all sorts of people--do they propose, I say, that ladies who have been delicately brought up shall travel with any Tom, Dick and Harry?--perhaps with convicts being conveyed to gaol, or with journeymen labourers? Is his honour the Chief Magistrate, who is a Commander of a noble Order of Knighthood, to travel side by side with a drunken navvy? Supposing the King were to pay a visit to this beautiful district, which has acquired such a reputation since so many of the best people from town have taken villas here; is his Majesty to make the journey in one of these third-class carriages, with the chance of travelling in company with tradesman stinking of stale cheese?--with folk who, moreover--well, perhaps in common decency I ought not to go on, as ladies are present. (Laughter.) "Economy," I hear some one suggest. That word is in great favour nowadays. But I should like to know what economy there is getting your clothes soiled? (Laughter.) Does a first-class carriage wear out sooner than a third class? It costs more to build, no doubt, but that is soon made up by the higher fares charged. I can discover no reasonable ground for this proposal, look at it how you will from the commercial point of view. One has to look at the _political_ aspect of the matter, to understand it; and I am reluctant to drag in politics. I will only say, in conclusion, that it must be those who have framed this proposal that expect to derive some profit from it; the railway certainly would derive none. (Sits down.) Koll. That last remark was a little like an accusation-- The Mayor (getting up). I only alluded to what is in every one's mind. (Sits down.) Koll. A speaker is not in order in making accusations, even though they be assumed to be in every one's mind.--I see that Mr. Alstad wishes to speak. Alstad. Human nature is frail. That seems to me a sufficient explanation of how such a proposal came to be laid before us. But honestly--for we all ought to be honest!--it seems to me that any material advantage it might bring would be more than counterbalanced by loss of esteem. (Uproar.) There has been quite a different spirit in the place of late years--what with the factories, and the stranger workmen, and the summer visitors. We never used to have so much unrest or to hear so much of this talk about "equality." And now, if we are to give the impression that there is only one social class here--and that a third class--I know that I shall be by no means alone in feeling offended. We certainly don't want to sit on our work-people's laps; and, equally, we don't want to have them sitting on ours. (Sits down.) Gran. Our friend the Mayor is very fond of talking of his loyalty; but I must say I am surprised at his dragging the King even into this matter. As for the matter of the railway carriage in which one of so high degree would travel here--well, if our carriages are not good enough, surely his Majesty's private saloon can be used on our line as well as on the main line. And as for any of us ordinary mortals who are afraid of mixing with the common herd, surely they can sit together in carriages by themselves. The carriages would be separate; they would only be of the same kind. I think there would be little fear of their being exposed to intrusion on the part of our country-folk. _They_ are much more apt to be more timidly shy than is even desirable. On all small lines--even on many of the bigger ones--it is the less luxurious carriages, the second and third class, that for the cost of the more luxurious ones; it is the third class that pays for the first. But that some passengers should travel comfortably at the expense of those who travel less comfortably, is what we wish to avoid. (Applause.) An old resident of the yeoman class has reproached us with wishing to alter our customs. Well, if one of our old customs is the aristocratic one which makes the gulf that separates masters and men wider than it already is, all I can say is that the sooner it is abolished the better; for it is not a good custom; it is even a dangerous one. (Murmurs.) And as for the political aspect of the question-- Koll. Don't you think we should leave politics out of the question? Gran (bows, with a laugh). That is just what I was going to say, Mr. Chairman; that we ought to leave politics out out of the question. (Sits down, amidst laughter applause. The audience, first the younger men and then the older farmers, begin arguing the matter with one another, more and more loudly.) Koll. I must beg the meeting to keep quiet, as long as this business is under discussion. The Mayor wishes to speak. The Mayor. I admit that I am loyal-- Koll. Those people outside must be quiet! Alstad (going to the window). You must keep quiet! The Mayor. I admit I am loyal! I count it a point of honour, as a native of the place, to show his Majesty that our first thought when we planned this railway was, at that important moment, that his Majesty might possibly be pleased to manifest a desire to pay us a visit. "Let him use his own private saloon," we are told! No, Mr. Chairman, that is not the way to speak when we are speaking of his Majesty! And what about his Majesty's suite? Are they to travel third class? What I say is that we are casting a slight on his Majesty if we cast a slight on his railway carriage--I should say, on his suite. And I go farther than that. I say that his Majesty's functionaries are his Majesty's representatives, and that it is casting an additional slight upon his Majesty not to show a proper respect for them. I know that this jars upon the ears of many present; they do not consider that a man who holds a public office should be shown any more respect than any one else. The majority rules, and the majority only thinks of its own interests and those of its servile supporters. But even in this community of ours there is a minority that bears the burden of its affairs and represents its honour; and we will never consent to be dragged down into the mire of this "equality" into which you want to plunge each and every one of us! (Uproar.) Koll. The honourable speaker appears to me to be trenching upon politics-- The Mayor. Possibly I am, Mr. Chairman; but what honest man can shirk the truth? Only compare the present state of things in this community with what was the case when everything here was as it should be; when the King and his officials were respected; when public affairs were in the hands of those who knew how to direct them; when we used to have singing competitions, shooting competitions, and other festal meetings of that kind. And--yes--well--compare, I say, the conditions in those days with our conditions to-day--that is to say, with all this talk of "the people;" as, for instance-- Koll. It is railway carriages that we are discussing. The Mayor. Quite so! But what is it that is at the bottom of this proposal, Mr. Chairman? Does it not spring from that passion for destruction, for a universal levelling which aims at abolishing the monarchy, at destroying authority-- The Priest. And the Church too, my friend! The Mayor.--and the Church, it is quite true! Yes, it is because they desire the Church and-- Koll. It is railway carriages that we are discussing. The Mayor. Exactly. But an old public official like myself, who once was held in respect, when he sees the pillars of society tottering and feels the keenest pang of sorrow at-- Koll. For the last time, it is railway carriages that we are discussing! The Mayor (overcome by his feelings). I have no more say. (Sits down.) Koll. Mr. Alstad wishes to speak. Alstad (getting up). The question before the meeting is itself a small matter; but it is the consequences of it that I fear. We may expect any proposal of the same kidney now. Never let it be said that our community was eager to range itself under this banner of "equality!" It bears too old and honoured a name for that! But there is one thing I want to say. We have always, before this, felt it an honour and a privilege to have the richest man in these parts living amongst us. But when we see him one of the most eager in support of a "popular" proposal of this sort, then it appears, to me at all events, to be absolutely unaccountable how--oh, well, I won't run the risk making what our chairman calls "accusations"; I will sit down and hold my tongue. I have the right to do that at all events. (Sits down.) Koll. Mr. Gran will address the meeting. Flink. Three cheers for Mr. Gran! (Almost the whole meeting cheers lustily. KOLL shouts at them and hammers on the table with his mallet in vain.) Koll (when peace is restored). I must ask the meeting to show some respect for its chairman. If not, I will leave the chair.--Mr. Gran will address the meeting. Gran. The plan that we are proposing is no new one. It has been in practice for a long time. In America-- The Priest, Alstad, and others. Yes, in America! The Mayor (getting up). Mr. Chairman, are we to have politics, after all? Koll. I cannot see that to mention America is to talk politics. The Mayor. Then what is politics, if America isn't? Koll. To talk politics is--for instance--to use the arguments your worship did. Mr. Gran will proceed. Gran. I see that the Priest wishes to speak. I shall be happy to give way. Koll. The Priest will address the meeting. The Priest. I see here, in this assembly, a number of those whom I am accustomed to address in more solemn surroundings. My dear parishioners, it was for your sake that I came here. You have heard for yourselves--the whole question is a political one; and, dear fellow Christians, let me entreat you to shun politics! Did not our Lord Himself say: "My kingdom is not of this world"? This freedom, this equality, of which they talk is not the soul's freedom, not that equality which-- Koll. I would suggest to the reverend speaker that he should postpone his remarks until the next time he gets into the pulpit. (Slight laughter.) The Priest. One should be instant in season and out of season; therefore-- Koll. I forbid you to continue. The Priest. It is written: "Thou shalt obey God rather than man"! My dear parishioners, let us all leave this meeting! Who will follow his priest? (Takes a few steps towards the door, but no one follows him. Laughter. He sighs deeply, and sits down again.) Koll. If no one else wishes to speak-- Vinaeger. Mr. Chairman! Koll. Mr. Vinaeger wishes to speak. Vinaeger. These proceedings remind me of China, and of the Chinese mandarins who will not allow any one of lesser degree to come near them--although at moments I have felt as if I were still in Europe in the presence of a still greater power, greater even than the Grand Turk--I mean this democratic envy which grudges others what it has not got itself. To reconcile both parties I should like to make the following suggestion. Build the carriages, as is often done, in two stories. Then those who wish to ensure their privacy can do so by sitting upstairs; and the others will be satisfied too, because they will all be in the same carriage after all. (Loud laughter.) Koll. If no one else wishes to speak (looks at GRAN, who shakes his head) I shall proceed to put the question to the vote. The motion submitted by the directors, which is now before the meeting, is as follows-- The Mayor. Excuse me, but what of my motion wit h regard to a saloon for his Majesty? Koll. I did not understand your worship to mean your suggestion as a formal motion. The Mayor. I did, though. Koll. Then I will put it to the vote after the director, motion has been voted upon. The Mayor. A motion that concerns the King should take precedence of all others. Koll. Even the King is subject to the rules of logic. The directors' motion is: "That only one class of railway carriage shall be purchased, of a type slightly more comfortable than the ordinary third-class carriage." Will those in favour of the motion kindly go to the left--on this side of the room; those against the motion, to the right. (Nearly all go to the left. Cheers are heard outside, and are gradually taken up by those inside. KOLL hammers with his mallet.) Order, please! (The cheering ceases, but an animated conversation goes on.) The directors' motion is carried! The Mayor (shouting). I am sure every one did not understand the method of voting! Koll (hammering with his mallet). Order, order. (Quiet is gradually restored.) What did your worship say? The Mayor. That some people must have misunderstood the way of voting; because I see my daughter Natalie, who is a shareholder too, on the other side of the room. Of course she has made a mistake. Natalie. Oh no, father, I haven't. (Loud laughter, and applause.) The Priest. Ah, my poor deluded parishioners, I shall pray for you! The Mayor. Order!--The Mayor's motion-- Alstad. I would suggest that the Mayor should withdraw it. We know what its fate would be in such a meeting as this. Koll. As long as I occupy the chair, I shall not permit any derogatory expressions to be applied to the meeting. Does the Mayor still insist on his motion being put? (Whispers to him: "Say no!") The Mayor. No. Koll. Then, as no one else wishes to speak, I declare the meeting at an end. (Every one begins to move about and discuss affairs vigorously.) Alstad (to his son VILHELM). So you have the face to vote with these--these Americans, against your old father, have you? Vilhelm. Well, father, I honestly think-- Alstad. Just you wait till I get you home! Vilhelm. Oh, that's it, is it? Then I shan't go home--so there! I shall stay here and get drunk, I shall. Alstad. Oh, come, come! Vilhelm. Yes, I shall! I shall stay here and get drunk! Alstad. But, Vilhelm, listen to me! (Takes him by the arm. Meantime a STRANGER has taken KOLL and GRAN by the arm, to their manifest surprise, and brought the forward away from the crowd. He stands for a moment, looking them in the face, till suddenly KOLL gives a start and cries out: "The King!") The King. Hush! Gran. It really is--! The King (to GRAN). You are at home here; take up into a room--and give us some champagne. My throat is as dry as a lime-kiln! Curtain SCENE II (SCENE.--A room built in Gothic style, comfortably furnished and decorated with trophies of the chase. GRAN ushers in the KING and KOLL.) Gran. We can be quite alone here. (ANNA, a deaf and dumb girl of about fifteen, brings in some bottles of champagne, and, during the following dialogue, sets out glasses, refreshments, cigars, and pipes. She is quick and attentive to render the slightest service required of her; when not employed, she sits on a stool in the background. She talks to GRAN on her fingers, and receives orders from him in the same manner.) The King. Ah, this is like old times! I know the setting: "Gothic room in mediaeval style, decorated with trophies of the chase. Furnished with an eye to bachelor comfort!" You always had bachelor habits, you know, even when you were quite a boy. (To KOLL.) We never called him anything but "the Bachelor" on board ship. He never had a love affair in all the three years our cruise lasted; but the rest of us had them in every port we touched at! Koll. He is just the same in that respect now. Gran (offering the KING some champagne). Allow me! The King. Thanks; I shall be glad of it. (To KOLL.) Your health, my former tutor! (To GRAN.) And yours! (They drink.) Ah, that has done me good!--Well now, let me ask you this: isn't it true that, all through the meeting, you were talking nothing but republicanism, although you didn't actually mention the word? Koll (laughing). You are not far wrong. The King. And you, who in the old days were considered to be too advanced in your opinions to be retained as my tutor, are now not considered advanced enough! They nearly--threw you over, didn't they? Koll. Yes! That shows you, if I may say so, the result of government by a minority. The King. And the result of mixing with such people as our excellent friend the millionaire here, I suppose? Gran. It is always a mistake to lay the blame of public opinion on individuals. The King. I quite agree with you. And now it is time you knew the reason of my coming here--in the strictest incognito, as you see. By the way, I hope no one recognised me? Gran and Koll. Not a soul! (FLINK comes in.) Flink. Ah, here you are! (Comes forward, rubbing his hands delightedly.) Well, what did you think of the meeting, my boys? The King (aside to GRAN). Who is that? Gran (to the KING). We will get rid of him. (To FLINK.) Look here, old chap--! Flink (catching sight of the KING). Oh, I beg your pardon, I thought we were-- Gran (obliged to introduce him). Let me introduce Mr.--? Mr.--? (Looks at the KING inquiringly.) The King. Speranza. Flink. An Italian? The King. In name only. Gran (completing the introduction). Mr. Flink. The King. Surely not A. B. Flink? Gran. Yes. The King (interested). Our peripatetic philosopher? (Shakes hands with him.) I have read one or two of your books. Flink (laughing). Really? The King. Are you meditating another expedition? Flink. That's it. The King. And on foot? Flink. Always on foot. The King. Upon my word, I don't believe there is a man in the country that can gauge popular opinion as accurately as you! Let us sit down and have a chat. Do you drink champagne? Flink. Yes--when I can't get anything better! The King (lifting his glass to FLINK). Your health, (They all drink, and then seat themselves.) What part the country were you in last? Flink. I have just been shooting with our friend here. The King. So he is your friend? He is mine, too! My best friend, ever since I was a boy. (He stretches out his hand; GRAN gets up and grasps it in both of his.) Koll (to FLINK, who is looking astonished). Mr. Speranza was a naval cadet at the same time as Gran. Flink. Really! Were they on the same ship? The King. Yes, we were on a cruise round the world together-- Flink. Do you mean the time when the Prince went on account of his lungs?--the present King, I mean? The King. The Prince that afterwards became King--yes. Flink. There is quite a royal flavour about our little gathering, then! Here is the King's shipmate, and here is his tutor in jurisprudence-- Koll. You are forgetting yourself! You are the King's tutor's tutor, you know-- The King. Were you Koll's tutor? Really? Flink (with a laugh). Yes, I had that misfortune! The King. You hadn't so great a misfortune in your pupil as he had in his! Koll. The King was a very apt pupil. Flink (jestingly). He has shown traces of it in his reign, hasn't he! Koll. Don't speak ill of the King, please. Flink (ironically). Heaven forbid! (Takes a pinch of snuff.) I know all about his talent--his great talent, his genial talent! (Offers his snuff-box to the KING.) Gran. But it was public opinion we were talking about, Flink; is it very much like what we heard to-day? Flink. I wouldn't say that; your opinions are rather advanced in these parts. The King. Is the tendency republican, rather than monarchical? Flink. That depends how you look at it. The King has just been paying some visits in the country districts; he is, so to speak, the commercial traveller for his firm--as all kings and crown princes are. Of course he was cheered everywhere. But go and ask the agricultural classes if they set great store by the pomp and circumstance of royalty; they will unanimously answer: "It costs an infernal lot to keep up!" Ha, ha, ha! Gran. Your farmer is a realist. Flink. A brutal realist! Ha, ha, ha! Self-government is cheaper. He has it all at his fingers' ends, the scoundrel! The King. He is not a republican by conviction, then Flink. Not universally, no. At least, not _yet_. But things are moving that way; and our reactionary government is helping the movement--that, and the letter they get from America. The King. The letters they get from America? Koll. Letters from their relations in America. Gran. There is scarcely a family in the country now that has not relations in America. The King. And they write home about self-government?--about republican principles? Flink. And republican institutions. That is the situation! The King. Have you read any of these letters? Flink. Lots! The King. This is excellent champagne! (Drinks.) Gran. Let me fill your glasses. (They all drink.) Flink. It doesn't really agree with me. The King. But suppose the King were to establish democratic government? Suppose he were to live like an ordinary citizen in every way? Flink. In every way? What do you mean by that? The King. Kept house like an ordinary citizen--were married like an ordinary citizen--were to be found in his office at regular hours like any other official? Gran. And had no court, I suppose? The King. No. (KOLL and GRAN exchange glances.) Flink (shrugging his shoulders). It would be the last sensation left for him to try. The King (who did not observe his shrug, eagerly). That is so, isn't it? You agree with me as to that? I am delighted to have had this talk with you, Mr. Flink. Flink. The same to you, Mr.--Mr.--. (In an undertone, to KOLL.) Is he a republican? The King (who has overheard him). Am I a republican? I have had too much experience not to be! Ha, ha! (Takes up his glass.) Devilish good champagne, this! Flink (drinking). But, you know, Mr.--Mr. Republican--ha, ha!--(smiles and whispers)--the King simply would not be allowed to do what you suggest. Ha, ha! The King. What do you mean? Gran (aside to KOLL, who gets up). Are you sure this is right? Koll. It will do him good, anyway, to hear all sides. Flink (who has got up and gone to the table on the other side to get a pipe). He simply would not be allowed to, poor chap! What is monarchy, I ask you? Nothing more or less than an insurance business in which a whole crew of priests, officials, noblemen, landed proprietors, merchants and military men hold shares? And, goodness knows, _they_ are not going to give their director leave to commit any such folly! Ha, ha, ha! The King (getting up). Ha, ha, ha! Flink (vociferously, to him). Don't you think that is true? The King. Good Lord!--perfectly true! Ha, ha ha! Flink (who has cleaned and filled a pipe, but forgotten to light it, going up to the KING). And what do they insure themselves again, these beauties? (More seriously.) Against the great mass of the people--against _his_ people! (The KING looks at him and makes a movement of dislike.) Gran. Look here, Flink; suppose we go out into the garden for a little? These spring evenings are so lovely. Flink. Compared to a political talk, the loveliest spring evenings have no attraction for me--no more than warm water, offered me in place of fine cooling wine, would have. No, let us stay where we are. What is the matter with this pipe? (ANNA signs that she will put it right for him, but he does not understand.) Gran. Give her your pipe; she will put it right. Koll. What I have always said is that, if the King had an opportunity of understanding the situation, he would interfere. Flink. The King? He doesn't care a brass farthing about the whole matter! He has something else to do! Ha, ha! The King. Ha, ha, ha! Koll. The King is an unusually gifted man; he would not remain indifferent in the long run. Flink. He has so many unusual gifts that have gone to the devil--! The King. Tralalla! Tralalalalala! Tralala! It feels quite odd to be with you fellows again! (Drinks.) Flink (in an undertone, to GRAN). Is he drunk? The King (sitting down). Give me a cigar--! And let us discuss the matter a little more seriously. (KOLL and GRAN sit down.) Gran. As a matter of fact, it is not a thing that can be discussed. It must be tried. If, one day, the King were to say: "I mean to live a natural life among my people, and to withdraw my name from the old-established royal firm, which has lost all its reputation for honesty"--that day everything else would follow of itself. Flink. Yes, that day, I dare say! Gran. Remember you are the guest of a man who is a friend of the King's! The King. Don't play the domestic despot--you who are a republican! Let us have free discussion! Flink. I certainly don't intend to insult the King. He has never done me any harm. But surely you will allow me to doubt whether he is really the shining light you make him out to be? The King. That is true enough! Flink (eagerly). You agree with me as to that, then? The King. Absolutely! But--leaving him out of the question--suppose we _had_ a king who made himself independent of others, and, as a necessary consequence, rose superior to questions of party--? Flink (interrupting him). It is a vain supposition, my dear fellow! A king bound to no party? (Puffs at his pipe.) It wouldn't work! (Puffs again.) It wouldn't work!--It wouldn't work!--Falsehood is the foundation of constitutional monarchy. A king superior to questions of party? Rubbish! Gran. It would be expecting something superhuman of him, too. Flink. Of course it would! The King. But the president of a republic is even less independent of party, isn't he? Flink (turning to hint). He doesn't make any pretence that he isn't. Haha! That's the difference! (Comes forward, repeating to himself.) It is the falsehood that makes the difference. Koll. Oh, there are falsehoods enough in republics too, unfortunately! Flink. I know; but they are not old-established institutions! Ha, ha! The King. That is an idea you have got from Professor Ernst's writings. Flink (eagerly). Have you read them? The King. I have scarcely read anything else for the last few months. (KOLL and GRAN exchange glances.) Flink. Indeed?--Then there is no need for me to say anything more. Koll. But, after all this talk, we have got no further. Our friend (pointing to the KING) wants to know, I think, whether a real, serious attempt at what one might call "democratic monarchy" could not reckon on being understood and supported-- The King (breaking in, eagerly). Yes, that's just it! Koll.--understood and supported by the most enlightened section of the people, who are weary of falsehood and long for a generous but secure measure of self-government. The King. That's just it! Flink (who was just going to sit down, jumps up again, lays down his pipe and stands with arms akimbo, as he says:) But what sort of ridiculous ideas are these? Aren't you republicans, then? Koll. I am not. Gran. I am; but that does not prevent my being of opinion that the change of government should be made gradually and gently-- Flink. That would be treason! Gran. Treason! Flink. Treason against the truth--against our convictions! Koll. Don't let us use big words! Monarchy is strongly rooted in the existing order of things. Flink (with a laugh). In the insurance company! Koll. Well, call it so if you like. It _exists_; that is the point. And, since it exists, we must make it as honest and as serviceable as we can. The King. Your health, Koll! (Drinks to him.) Flink (moving away from them). No true republican would agree with you. Gran. You are wrong there. (FLINK gives a start of surprise.) The King (who has seen FLINK's surprise, gets up). Listen to me! Suppose we had a king who said: "Either you help me to establish a democratic monarchy--purged of all traces of absolutism, purged of falsehood--or else I abdicate--" Flink. Bah! The King. I only say, "suppose"! You know quite well that the cousin of the present king, the heir apparent, is a bigoted-- Koll (who has been exchanging glances with GRAN while the KING was speaking, breaks in hurriedly). Don't go on! The King (with a laugh). I won't!--And his mother, who rules him-- Flink.--is even worse! The King. What would be your choice, then? Would you help the king to establish a democratic monarchy or--? Flink (impetuously). I would ten thousand times rather have the bigoted prince, with all his own and his mother's follies!--the madder the better! Gran. No, no, no, no! The King (to GRAN and KOLL). We see his true colours now! (Moves away from them.) Koll (to FLINK). That is the way you republicans always ride your principles to death. Gran. Patriotism ought to come before-- Flink.--before truth? No; a short sharp pang of agony is better than endless doubt and falsehood, my friend! That is true patriotism. Koll. Oh, these theories!--these phrases! Gran. I am a republican as well as you, and, I think, as sincere a one. But I should have no hesitation-- Flink.--in playing the traitor? Gran. Why do you use such words as that? Flink. Words! Do you think it is nothing but words? No, my friend, if you did what--what I did not allow you to say--I should come here one day to call you to account. And if you refused to fight me, I should shoot you like a dog! Gran (gently). You would not do that. Flink (heatedly). Not do it?--Have I given you the deepest affection of which my heart is capable, only for you to turn traitor to it? Am I to see the man whose character is the crowning achievement of my life, betraying our cause--and, by reason of his great personal prestige, dragging thousands down with him? On the head of all the disillusionments I have suffered, am I to have this one in the evening of my life--? (Stops, overcome by his emotion. A pause.) You shouldn't jest about such things you know. (Walks away. ANNA has placed herself in front of GRAN, as if to protect him.) Koll. I think we had better change the subject, and go out for a little! The King (aside, to him). Yes, get him away! Flink (in the background, as if he were addressing an invisible audience). We must have discipline in the ranks! Koll. Gran, ask your maid to hurry up with the supper. Gran. Yes, I will. Koll (to the KING). What do you say to a turn in the garden, meanwhile? The King. By all means! Flink (coming forward to GRAN). This friendship of yours with the King--to which I had attached no particular importance--I hope it has not altogether--(Stops short.) Gran.--not altogether corrupted me, you mean? Flink. Exactly. The King (laughing). Politically? Flink. Politics are not unconnected with morals, sir! The King. But why get so heated, sir? We know that the present King is a-- Koll (breaking in hurriedly). Don't say any more! The King (with a laugh). You said yourself that he doesn't care a brass farthing about the whole matter--he has something else to do! And so the whole thing ends in smoke! Flink (more amiably). I dare say you are right. The King. Of course I am. You are all agreed that, under his rule, republican sentiments are growing in real earnest. Flink. You are right! He couldn't help things on better if he were a republican himself, I assure you! The King. Perhaps he _is_ a republican? Flink (animatedly). Perhaps he _is_! Splendid! And works against his own interests--! The King. A sort of commercial traveller working for the downfall of his own firm! Flink (excitedly). For the downfall of his own firm! Splendid! Props up his reactionary rule by means of royal pronouncements, confidential communications, public speeches-- The King.--in a suicidal manner! Flink. Splendidly suicidal! Ah, that makes you laugh, does it? Koll. Hush, some one might hear us! Flink. I don't care who hears us! (The KING bursts out laughing.) But you ought, as one of the King's officials, to stop _his_ laughing! (Points to the KING.) It's shocking!--It's high treason! Koll. Listen to me! Flink. You ought to arrest him for laughing like that! Suppose the King-- Gran. That _is_ the King! (The KING goes on laughing. FLINK looks from him to the others, and from the others to him.) The King. This is too much for me! (Sits down. FLINK rushes out.) Koll. That was very bad of you. The King. I know it was; but forgive me! I couldn't help it! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Koll. For all his queer ways, he is too good a fellow to be made a fool of. The King. Yes, scold me; I deserve it. But, all the same--ha, ha, ha, ha! Gran. Hush!--he is coming back. (The KING gets up as FLINK comes in again.) Flink. Your Majesty may be assured that I would never have expressed myself as I did in your Majesty's presence if I had been fairly treated and told whom I was addressing. The King. I know. The fault is mine alone. Flink. The fault is that of others--my so-called friends. The King (earnestly). By no means! It is mine--mine alone. I have had a scolding for it!--And in your presence I ask my friends' pardon; I have put them in a false position. And, in the next place, I ask for your forgiveness. My sense of humour got the better of me. (Laughs again.) Flink. Yes, it was extremely amusing. The King. It really was! And, after all, what have you to complain of? You had an opportunity of speaking your mind, any way! Flink. I certainly did! The King. Very well, then!--And when you wanted to show any respect, _I_ prevented you. So I think we are quits. Flink. No, we are not. The King (impatiently). Indeed?--What do you want from me, then? Flink (proudly). Nothing! The King. I beg your pardon! I did not mean to offend you. Flink. You have done so to a degree that you are naturally incapable of appreciating. (Goes out.) The King. This is a nice business! (Laughs. Then notices GRAN, who is standing at his desk with his back to the KING, and goes up to him.) You are angry with me. Gran (looking up slowly). Yes. The King. Why didn't you stop me? Gran. It all happened too quickly. But to think that you could have the heart to do it--in my own house--to a man who was my father's oldest friend, and is mine--! The King. Harald! (Puts his arm round his shoulders.) Have I ever asked you for anything that you have not given me? Gran. No. The King. Then I ask you now to admit that you know that, if I had thought this would hurt you, I would never have done it--not for worlds! Do you still believe as well of me as that? Gran. Yes. The King. Thank you. Then I will admit to you, in return, that for months past I have lived in a state of horrible tension of mind; and that is why I jump too easily from one extreme to the other. So, my friends, you must forgive me! Or finish my scolding some other time! Because now I must talk to you of the matter which induced me to come here. You are the only ones I can turn to; so be good to me!--Shall we sit down again? Koll. As you please. The King (moving towards the table). I know you both want to ask me the same question: why I have never come before now. My answer is: because I have only now arrived at a clear conception of my own position. Some months ago some hard words that were used to me lit a fire in my heart and burnt out a heap of rubbish that had collected there. (ANNA fills their glasses.) Won't you send that girl away? Gran. She is deaf and dumb. The King. Poor girl! (Sits down.) When I came back from my cruise round the world, the old king was dead. My father had come to the throne, and I was crown prince, and I went with my father to the cathedral to attend a thanksgiving service for my safe return. Gran. I was there. The King. The whole thing was a novelty to me, and a solemn one. I was overcome with emotion. Seeing that, my father whispered to me: "Come farther forward, my boy! The people must see their future king praying." That finished it! I was not born to be a king; my soul was still too unsullied, and I spurned such falsehood with the deepest loathing. Just think of it!--to come back from three years at sea, and begin my life in that way--as if perpetually in front of a mirror! I won't dwell on it. But when my father died and I became king, I had become so accustomed to the atmosphere of falsehood I lived in that I no longer recognised truth when I saw it. The constitution prescribed my religion for me--and naturally I had none. And it was the same with everything--one thing after another! What else could you expect? The only tutor I valued--you, Koll--had been dismissed; they considered you to be too freethinking. Koll (smilingly). Oh, yes! The King. The only real friend that dated from my happier days--you, Harald, had been sent to the right about; you were a republican. It was while I was in despair over that loss that I fell really in love for the first time--with your sister, Harald. Banishment, again. What then? Why, then the craving that every healthy youth feels--the desire for love--was turned into dissolute channels. (Drinks.) Gran. I understand, well enough. The King. Well, put all those things together. That was what my life was--until just lately. Because lately something happened, my dear friends. And now you must help me! Because, to make a long story short, either I mean to be the chief official in my country in a peaceful, citizenlike, genuine way, or--as God is above me--I will no longer be king! (Gets up, and the others do so.) Koll. Ah, we have got it at last! The King. Do you think I don't know that our republican friend there spoke what is every thoughtful man's verdict upon me? (They are silent.) But how could I possibly undertake my task, as long as I believed everything to be make-believe and falsehood, without exception? Now I know the root of the falsehood! It is in our institutions; he was quite right. And one kind of falsehood begets another. You cannot imagine how ludicrous it appeared to me--who up till then had led such a sinful, miserable existence--when I saw honourable men pretending that I was a being of some superior mould! I! (Walks up and down, then stops.) It is the state--our institutions--that demand this falsehood both on their part and on mine. And that for the security and happiness of the country! (Moves about restlessly.) From the time I became crown prince they kept from me everything that might have instilled truth into me--friendship, love, religion, a vocation--for my vocation is quite another one; and it was all done in the name of my country! And now that I am king, they take away all responsibility from me as well--all responsibility for my own acts--the system demands it! Instead of an individual, what sort of a contemptible creature do they make of me! The kingly power, too?--that is in the hands of the people's representatives and the government. I don't complain of that; but what I do complain of is that they should pretend that _I_ have it, and that everything should be done in _my_ name; that I should be the recipient of petitions, cheers, acclamations, obeisances--as if the whole power and responsibility were centred in _my_ person! In me--from whom, in the interests of all, they have taken away everything! Is that not a pitiful and ludicrous falsehood? And, to make it credible, they endow me into the bargain with a halo of sanctity! "The King is sacred;" "Our Most Gracious Sovereign," "Your Majesty!" It becomes almost blasphemous! Gran. Quite true. The King. No, if that cannot be done away with, I can do away with myself. But it must be possible to do away with it! It cannot be necessary for a people, who are marching on the eternal path towards truth, to have a lie marching at the head of them! Koll. No, it is not necessary. The King (eagerly). And that is what you will help me to show them. Koll. I have no objection! There is life in the country yet! The King (to Gran). And you, my friend? Are you afraid of being shot by a mad republican if you help me? Gran. I am not particularly afraid of death, any way. But the maid is telling us that supper is served. The King. Yes, let us have supper! Koll. And then, to our task! Curtain ACT II (SCENE.--A park with old lofty trees. In the foreground, to the right, an arbour with a seat. The KING is sitting, talking to BANG, who is a man of gross corpulence.) Bang. And I felt so well in every way that, I assure your Majesty, I used to feel it a pleasure to be alive. The King (drawing patterns in the dust with his walking stick). I can quite believe it. Bang. And then I was attacked by this pain in my heart and this difficulty in breathing. I run round and round this park, on an empty stomach, till I am absolutely exhausted. The King (absently). Couldn't you drive round, then? Bang. Drive?--But it is the exercise, your Majesty, that-- The King. Of course. I was thinking of something else. Bang. I would not mind betting that I know what your Majesty was thinking of--if I may say so without impertinence. The King. What was it, then? Bang. Your Majesty was thinking of the socialists! The King. Of the--? Bang. The socialists! The King (looking amused). Why particularly of them? Bang. I was right, you see! Ha, ha, ha! (His laughter brings on a violent fit of coughing.) Your Majesty must excuse me; laughing always brings on my cough.--But, you know, the papers this morning are full of their goings on! The King. I have not read the paper. Bang. Then I can assure your Majesty that the way they are going on is dreadful. And just when we were all getting on so comfortably! What in the world do they want? The King. Probably they want to get on comfortably too. Bang. Aren't they well off as it is, the beasts? Excuse me, your Majesty, for losing my temper in your Majesty's presence. The King. Don't mention it. Bang. You are very good. These strikes, too--what is the object of them? To make every one poor? Every one can't be rich. However, I pin my faith to a strong monarchy. Your Majesty is the padlock on my cash-box! The King. I am what? Bang. The padlock on my cash-box! A figure of speech I ventured to apply to your Majesty. The King. I am much obliged! Bang. Heaven help us if the liberals come into power; their aim is to weaken the monarchy. (A BEGGAR BOY comes up to them.) Beggar Boy. Please, kind gentlemen, spare a penny! I've had nothing to eat to-day! Bang (taking no notice of him). Aren't there whispers of the sort about? But of course it can't be true. Beggar Boy (pertinaciously). Please, kind gentlemen, spare a penny! I've had nothing to eat to-day. Bang. You have no right to beg. The King. You have only the right to starve, my boy! Here! (Gives him a gold coin. The BEGGAR Boy backs away from him, staring at him, and gripping the coin in his fist.) Bang. He never even thanked you! Probably the son of a socialist!--I would never have opened this park to every one in the way your Majesty has done. The King. It saves the work-people a quarter of am hour if they can go through it to get to their work. (The GENERAL appears, driving the BEGGAR BOY before him with his stick.) The General (to the BEGGAR). A gentleman sitting on a seat gave it you? Point him out to me, then! Bang (getting up). Good morning, your Majesty! The King. Good morning! (Looks at his watch.) The General. That gentleman, do you say? The King (looking up). What is it? The General. Your Majesty? Allow me to welcome you back! The King. Thank you. The General. Excuse me, sir; but I saw this fellow with a gold coin in his hand, and stopped him. He says your Majesty gave it to him--? The King. It is quite true. The General. Oh--of course that alters the case! (To the BEGGAR.) It is the King. Have you thanked him? (The boy stands still, staring at the KING.) The King. Are you taking a morning walk on an empty stomach because of a weak heart, too? The General. Because of my stomach, sir--because of my stomach! It has struck work! The Beggar Boy. Ha, ha, ha! Ho, ho, ho! (Runs away.) The General. I am astonished at your Majesty's having thrown this park open to every one. The King. It saves the work-people a quarter of an hour if they can go through it to get to their work.--Well, General, it seems you have become religious all of a sudden? The General. Ha, ha, ha! Your Majesty has read my Order of the Day, then? The King. Yes. The General (confidentially). Well, sir, you see things couldn't go on any longer as they were. (Whispers.) Debauchery in the ranks! I won't say anything about the officers; but when the men take to such courses openly--! The King. Oho! The General. My brother the bishop and I, between us, composed an Order of the Day on the subject of the necessity of religion--religion as the basis of discipline. The King. As a matter of fact the bishop was the first person I met here to-day.--Is he suffering from a disordered stomach, too? The General. More so than any of us, Sir! Ha, ha, ha! (The KING motions to him to sit down.) Thank you, Sir.--But, apart from that, I have had it in my mind for some time that in these troublous days there ought to be a closer co-operation between the Army and the Church-- The King. In the matter of digestion, do you mean? The General. Ha, ha, ha!--But seriously, Sir, the time is approaching when such a co-operation will be the only safeguard of the throne. The King. Indeed? The General (hurriedly). That is to say, of course, the throne stands firm by itself--God forbid I should hint otherwise! But what I mean is that it is the Army ants the Church that must supply the monarchy with the necessary splendour and authority-- The King. I suppose, then, that the monarchy has no longer any of its own? The General (jumping up). Heaven forbid that I should say such a thing! I would give my life in support of the monarchy! The King. You will have to die some day, unfortunately (Laughs as he gets up.) Who is that coming this way? The General (putting up his eyeglass). That? It is the Princess and Countess L'Estoque, Sir. The King. Is the Princess suffering from indigestion too? The General (confidentially). I fancy your Majesty knows best what the Princess is suffering from. (The KING moves away from him.) I made a mess of that! It comes of my trying to be too clever.--He is walking towards her. Perhaps there is something in it, after all? I must tell Falbe about it. (Turns to go.) Confound it, he saw that I was watching them! (Goes out. The KING returns to the arbour with the PRINCESS on his arm. The COUNTESS and one of the royal servants are seen crossing the park in the background.) The Princess. This is a most surprising meeting! When did your Majesty return? The King. Last night.--You look very charming, Princess! Such blushing cheeks!--and so early in the morning! The Princess. I suppose you think it is rouge?--No, Sir, it is nothing but pleasure at meeting you. The King. Flatterer! And I went pale at the sight of you. The Princess. Perhaps your conscience--? The King. I am sorry to say my conscience had nothing to do with it. But this morning I have been meeting so many people that are suffering from indigestion that, when I saw your Highness walking quickly along-- The Princess. Make your mind easy! My reason for my morning walk is to keep my fat down. Later in the day I ride--for the same reason. I live for nothing else now. The King. It is a sacred vocation! The Princess. Because it is a royal one? The King. Do you attribute your sanctity to me? Wicked Princess! The Princess. Both my sanctity and any good fortune I enjoy. It is nothing but my relationship to your Majesty that induces the tradespeople to give me unlimited credit. The King. You don't feel any awkwardness about it, then? The Princess. Not a bit! The good folk have to maintain many worse parasites than me!--By the way, talking of parasites, is it true that you have pensioned off all your lords-in-waiting and their hangers-on? The King. Yes. The Princess. Ha, ha, ha! But why did you make the special stipulation that they should live in Switzerland? The King. Because there is no court in Switzerland, and-- The Princess. And so they could not fall into temptation again! I have had many a good laugh at the thought of it. But it has its serious side too, you know; because your Majesty cannot dispense with a court. The King. Why not? The Princess. Well, suppose some day you are "joined in the bonds of holy matrimony," as the parsons so beautifully put it? The King. If I were, it would be for the sake of knowing what family life is. The Princess. Like any other citizen? The King. Precisely. The Princess. Are you going to keep no servants? The King. As many as are necessary--but no more. The Princess. Then I must secure a place as chambermaid in your Majesty's household as soon as possible. Because if my financial circumstances are inquired into there will be nothing else left for me but that! The King. You have too sacred a vocation for that, Princess! The Princess. How pretty! Your Majesty is a poet, and poets are allowed to be enthusiastic about ideals. But the people are poets too, in their way; they like their figure-head to be well gilded, and don't mind paying for it. That is their poetry. The King. Are you certain of that? The Princess. Absolutely certain! It is a point of honour with them. The King. Then I have to weigh my honour against theirs! And my honour forbids me--for the honour of my people and their poetry--to keep up my palaces, my guards, and my court any longer! _Voila tout_! The Princess. My dear King, certain positions carry with them certain duties! The King. Then I know higher duties than those!--But, Princess, here are we two seriously discussing-- The Princess. Yes, but there is something at the bottom of it that is not to be laughed away. All tradition and all experience proclaim it to be the truth that a king--the kingly majesty--should be a dignity apart; and should be the ultimate source of law, surrounded with pomp and circumstance, and secure behind the fortified walls of wealth, rank, and hereditary nobility. If he steps out of that magic circle, the law's authority is weakened. The King. Has your Royal Highness breakfasted yet? The Princess. No. (Bursts out laughing.) The King. Because, if you had, I should have had great pleasure is giving you a lesson in history; but on an empty stomach that would be cruel. The Princess. Do you know--you used to be such an entertaining king, but this last year you have become so tedious! The King. Most beautiful of princesses! Do you really mean to say that I rise and fall in your estimation according as I have my pretty royal gew-gaws on or not? The Princess. In my estimation? The King. Or in any one's? You know the story of "The Emperor's New Clothes"? The Princess. Yes. The King. We don't keep up that pretence any longer. The Princess. But will every one understand? The King. You understand, don't you? The Princess. The people or I--that is all the same, I suppose! You are very flattering. The King. Heaven forbid that I should lump your Royal Highness together with the common herd; but-- The Princess. We have already had proof of the fact that your Majesty does not hold the same place in _every one's_ estimation that you do in mine, at all events! The King. If I occupy a place of honour in your Royal Highness's heart, your Royal Highness may be certain that-- The Princess. I will interrupt you to save you from speaking an untruth! Because the way to attain to a place of honour in your Majesty's heart is not to admire you as I do, but, on the contrary, to shout out: "I despise you!"--Au revoir! The King. You wicked, terrifying, dangerous-- The Princess.--omniscient and ubiquitous Princess! (Makes a deep curtsey, and goes away.) The King (calling after her). In spite of everything, my heart goes with you-- The Princess.--to show me the door! I know all about that! (To the COUNTESS.) Come, Countess! (Goes out. FALBE, an old gentleman in civilian dress, has come in from the side to which the KING'S back is turned.) The King. How the devil did she--? Falbe (coming up behind him). Your Majesty! The King (turning quickly). Ah, there you are! Falbe. Yes, sir--we have been walking about in the park for some time; your Majesty was engaged. The King. Not engaged--I was only deadening thoughts by gossiping. My anxiety was too much for me. So they have come?--both of them? Falbe. Both of them. The King. Can I believe it! (Appears overcome.) But--you must wait a moment! I can't, just at this moment--. I don't know what has come over me! Falbe. Are you unwell, sir? You look so pale. The King My nerves are not what they should be. Is there any water near here? Falbe (pointing, in astonishment). Why, there is the fountain, Sir! The King. Of course! Of course!--I don't seem able to collect my thoughts. And my mouth is as dry as--. Look here, I am going that way (points); and then you can--you can bring the ladies here.--She is here! She is here! (Goes out to the left, and turns round as he goes.) Don't forget to lock the gates of the inner park! Falbe. Of course not, Sir. (Goes out to the right, and returns bringing in the BARONESS MARC and CLARA.) His Majesty will be here in a moment. (Goes out to the right.) Clara. You must stay near enough for me to be able to call you. Baroness. Of course, my dear. Compose yourself; nothing can happen. Clara. I am so frightened. Baroness. Here is the King! (The KING comes in and bows to them.) The King. Excuse me, ladies, for having kept you waiting. I am very grateful to you both for coming. Baroness. We only came upon your Majesty's solemn promise-- The King.--which shall be inviolable. Baroness. I understand that you wish to speak to Miss Ernst alone? The King. Your ladyship need only go up to the top of that little slope. (Points.) I can recommend the view from there. Baroness. The interview will not be a long one, I suppose? The King. If it is, I give your ladyship permission to come and interrupt us. (The BARONESS goes out. The KING turns to CLARA.) May I be permitted to thank you again--you especially--for having been so good as to grant me this interview? Clara. It will be the only one. The King. I know that. You have not condescended to answer one of my letters-- Clara. I have not read them. The King.--so there was nothing left for me but to address myself to the Baroness. She was _obliged_ to listen to me, Miss Ernst. Clara (trembling). What has your Majesty to say to me? The King. Indeed, I can't tell it you in a single sentence. Won't you sit down? (CLARA remains standing.) You must not be afraid of me. I mean you no harm; I never could mean you any harm. Clara (in tears). Then what do you call the persecution that I have endured for more than a year? The King. If you had condescended to read a single one of my long and many letters you would have known I call it a passion that is stronger than--. (CLARA turns to go. The KING continues anxiously.) No, Miss Ernst, by everything you hold dear, I beg you not to leave me! Clara. Then you must not insult me! The King. If that is an insult your terms are very hard. Clara. Hard? No, but what you have done to me is hard! (Bursts into tears.) The King. Don't cry, Miss Ernst! You don't know how you hurt me! Clara (angrily). Do you know what it means to try and ruin a young girl's reputation? The King. I repeat that you are doing me an injustice Clara. An injustice?--Good God! Do you know who I am? The King (taking of his hat respectfully). You are the woman I love. Clara (quietly and with dignity). Your Majesty has solemnly promised not to insult me. The King. As sure as there is a heaven above us I will not, and could not, insult you! But I will obey your wishes. Clara. When a king says such a thing as--as you did just now, to a poor little governess, it is more than an insult! It is so cowardly, so base! And to think that you could have the heart to do it after what you have done to my father! The King. Your father?--I? Clara. Do you really not know who I am? The King I don't understand-- Clara. Whose daughter I am, I mean? The King. I only know that your father's name is Ernst. (Suddenly.) Surely your father is not--? Clara. Professor Ernst. The King. The republican? Clara (slowly). Yes. (A pause.) I may remind your Majesty that he was sentenced for high treason. And why? Because he warned the young men at the university against the bad example set by the King! (A pause.) He was sentenced to a long term of imprisonment. In escaping from his prison he broke both his legs; and now he lives in exile--a cripple--supported by what money I am able to earn. (A pause.) You have ruined his life--and now you are trying to ruin mine too! The King. I beg of you--! Clara. I am ashamed of my tears. It is not compassion for myself or for my father that makes them flow; it is the heartless injustice of it all that overcomes me. The King. God knows, if only I could atone for the injustice--! But what can I do? Clara. You can let me alone, so that I may do my work in peace; that is what you can do! Neither he nor I ask for more than that--of you! The King. I must do more than that! Clara. No! Can you not understand that a girl who is persecuted by the king's attentions cannot be a governess? All you will achieve will be to rob me and my father of our bread!--Oh, God! The King. But my intention is not to-- Clara (interrupting him). And you are not even man enough to be ashamed of yourself! The King. Yes, you may say what you please to me! Clara. I have nothing more to say to you. I have said what I have to say. (Turns to go.) The King. No, don't go! You have not even heard me yet. You don't even know what I want to beg of you! Clara. My dishonour. The King (vehemently). You misunderstand me utterly! If you had only read a single one of my letters you would have known that there is standing before you a man whom you have humbled. Ah, don't look so incredulous! It is true, if there is any truth in anything. You don't believe me? (Despairingly.) How am I to--! A man who has risked your contempt for more than a year, and has been faithful to you without even being allowed to see you or exchange a word with you--who has had no thought for anything or any one else--is not likely to be doing that out of mere idleness of heart! Do you not believe that, either? Clara. No. The King. Well, then, there must surely be some general truths that you, as Ernst's daughter, cannot refuse to believe! Let me ask you if you can understand how a man becomes what I was at the time when I repeatedly insulted you. You must know, from your father's books, in what an unnatural atmosphere a king is brought up, the soul-destroying sense of self-importance which all his surroundings foster, until, even in his dreams, he thinks himself something more than human; the doubtful channels into which his thoughts are forced, while any virtues that he has are trumpeted abroad, and his vices glossed over with tactful and humorous tolerance. Don't you think that a young king, full of eager life, as I was, may plead something in excuse of himself that no other man can? Clara. Yes, I admit that. The King. Then you must admit that the very position he has to assume as a constitutional monarch is an acted lie. Think what a king's vocation is; _can_ a vocation of that sort be hereditary? Can the finest and noblest vocation in the world be that? Clara. No! The King. Then suppose that he realises that himself; suppose that the young king is conscious, however dimly and partially, of the lie he is living--and suppose that, to escape from it, he rushes into a life of pleasure. Is it not conceivable that he may have some good in him, for all that? And then suppose that one morning, after a night of revelling, the sun shines into his room; and he seems to see upon the wall, in letters of fire, some words that were said to him the night before--true words (CLARA looks up at him in surprise)--the words: "I despise you!" (CLARA gives a start.) Words like that can burn out falsehood. And he, to whom they are said, may long to hear again the tones of the voice that spoke them. No man has ever hated what has given him new life. If you had read a single one of the letters which I felt impelled to write even if they were refused acceptance--you would not have called it persecution. (CLARA does not answer.) And, as for my persecution of your father--I am not going to make any excuses for myself; I will only ask you to remember that a king has no control over the law and its judgments. I feel the sincerest respect for your father. Clara. Thank you. The King. And it is just part of the falsehood I was speaking of, that he should be condemned for saying of me what I have said a thousand times of myself! Clara (softly). Dare I believe that? The King. Ah, if only you had read one of my letters! Or even the little book of poems I sent you last! I thought that, if you would not receive my letters, perhaps a book-- Clara. I do not accept anonymous gifts. The King. I see you are on your guard--although I don't admit that the poems were mine! May I read it to you? Clara. I don't understand--. The King. One that I marked--for you. It will prove to you what you refuse to believe. Clara. But if the poem is not yours? The King. The fact that I have marked it shows that its sentiments apply to me. Will you let me read it to you? (CLARA looks up.) Do not be too much surprised, Miss Ernst! (Takes a slim volume from his pocket.) I found this somewhere. (Turns over the leaves.) It won't take long to read. May I? Clara. If only I understood-- The King.--why I want to read it? Simply for the reason that you have forbidden me to speak to you--or to write to you; but not, as yet, to read to you! (CLARA smiles. A pause.) Do you know--a little event has just happened in my life?--and yet not such a little one, after all! Clara. What is that? The King. I have seen you smile for the first time. Clara. Your Majesty! The King. But, Miss Ernst, is it an insult, too, to see you smile? Clara (smiling). If I consent to hear the poem, shall not the Baroness-- The King.--hear it also? With pleasure; but not at the same time! Please! Because I am a very bad reader. You can show it to the Baroness afterwards, if you like. (CLARA smiles.) May I? Clara. You are sure there is nothing in it that-- The King. You can interrupt me, if you think fit. It is called "The Young Prince;" and it is about--no, I won't tell you what it is about unless you will be so good as to sit down, so that I can sit down too. If I stand up I shall be sure to begin declaiming, and I do that shockingly badly!--You can get up again when you like, you know! (CLARA smiles and sits down. The KING sits down beside her.) Now, then! "The Young Prince." (To himself.) I can scarcely breathe. (He begins to read.) Full fed with early flattery and pride-- (Breaks off.) Excuse me, Miss Ernst! I don't feel-- Clara. Is your Majesty not well? The King. Quite well! It is only--. Now, then! Full fed with early flattery and pride, His sated soul was wearied all too young; Honour and kingly pomp seemed naught to him But whimsies from the people's folly sprung. From such pretence he fled to what was real-- Fair women's arms, laughter and love and pleasure, All the mad joy of life; whate'er he craved, He found was given him in double measure. Whate'er he craved--until one day a maiden To whom he whispered, like a drunken sot, "I'd give my life to make thee mine, my sweeting!" Turned from him silently and answered not. He sought by every means to win her to him; But when his love with cold _contempt_ was met, It was as if a judgment had been spoken Upon his life, and doom thereon were set. His boon companions left him; in his castles None seemed to be awake but he alone, Racked with remorse, enshrouded in the darkness Of dull despair, yet longing to atone. Then through the darkness she appeared! and humbly, Emboldend by her gentleness of mien, He sued once more: "If only thou wouldst listen! If still 'twere not too late--" (His emotion overcomes him, and he stops suddenly, gets up, and walks away from CLARA. She gets up, as he comes back to her.) Excuse me! I had no intention of making a scene. But it made me think of--. (Breaks of again overcome by emotion, and moves a little way from her. There is a pause as he collects himself before returning to her.) As you can hear, Miss Ernst, it is nothing much of a poem--not written by a real poet, that is to say; a real poet would have exalted his theme, but this is a commonplace-- Clara. Has your Majesty anything more to say to me? (A pause.) The King. If I have anything more to say to any one, it is to you. Clara. I beg your pardon. The King. No, it is I should beg yours. But I am sure you do not wish me to lie to you. Clara (turning her head away). No. The King. You have no confidence in me. (Control, his emotion.) Will you ever, I wonder, come to under stand that the only thing I crave for now is--one person's confidence! Clara. Any one who speaks as your Majesty has done to-day surely craves for more than that. The King. More than that, yes; but, first of all, one person's confidence. Clara (turning away). I don't understand-- The King (interrupting her, with emotion). Your life has not been as empty and artificial as mine. Clara. But surely you have your task here to fill it with? The King. I remember reading once about the way a rock was undermined, and the mine filled with gunpowder with an electric wire leading to it. Just a slight pressure on a little button and the great rock was shattered into a thousand pieces. And in the same way everything is ready here; but the little pressure--to cause the explosion--is what I am waiting for! Clara. The metaphor is a little forced. The King. And yet it came into my mind as unconsciously as you broke off that twig just now. If I do not get what I lack, nothing can be accomplished--there can be no explosion! I shall abandon the whole thing and let myself go under. Clara. Go under? The King. Well, not like the hero of a sensational novel--not straight to the bottom like a stone--but like a dreamer carried off by pixies in a wood, with one name ever upon my lips! And the world would have to look after itself. Clara. But that is sheer recklessness. The King. I know it is; but I am reckless. I stake everything upon one throw! (A pause.) Clara. Heaven send you may win. The King. At least I am daring enough to hope that I may--and there are moments when I almost feel certain of victory! Clara (embarrassed). It is a lovely morning-- The King.--for the time of year; yes. And it is lovelier here than it is anywhere else! Clara. I cannot really understand a course of action which implies a want of all sense of responsibility-- The King. Every one has their own point of view. A scheme of life, to satisfy me, must have its greatest happiness hidden away at its core; in my case that would be to have a house of my own--all to myself, like any other citizen--from which I should go away to my work, and come back to as to a safe refuge. That is the button on the electric wire, do you understand? It is the little pressure on it that I am waiting for. (A pause.) Clara. Have you read my father's book, _Democratic Monarchy_? The King. Yes. Clara. He wrote it when I was a child; and so I may say that I grew up amongst ideas like--like those I have heard from you to-day. All the friends that came to our house used to talk to me about it. The King. Then no doubt you heard the crown prince talked about, too! Clara. I think I heard his name oftener mentioned at home than any one's. I believe the book was written expressly for you. The King. I can feel that when I read it. If only I had been allowed to read it in those days! Do you remember how in it your father maintains, too, that all reform depends on the beating down of the hedge that surrounds royalty?--on a king's becoming, as he says, "wedded to his people" in the fullest sense of the word, not irregularly or surreptitiously? No king can share his people's thoughts if he lives apart from them in a great palace, married to a foreign princess. There is no national spirit behind a complicated court life of outlandish ceremonial. Clara (turning away her head). You should have heard how vehemently my father used to assert those ideas. The King. And yet he abandoned them. Clara. Became a republican, you mean? The King. Yes. Clara. He was so disappointed. (A pause.) The King. I sometimes wonder every one isn't a republican! It must come to that in the end; I can see that. If only royalties nowadays thought seriously enough about it to realise it! Clara. It is made so difficult for them by those who surround them. The King. Yes, you see, that is another reason why any such reform must begin at home. Do you think that a king, who went every day to his work from a home that was in every respect like that of one of his people, could fail in the long run? Clara. There are so many different kinds of homes. The King. I mean a home that holds love instead of subservience--comfort instead of ceremony-truth instead of flattery; a home where--ah, well, I need not teach a woman what a home means. Clara. We make them what they are. The King. Surely; but they are especially what women make them. (A pause.) Clara. The sun is quite strong now. The King. But it can scarcely pierce through the screen of leaves here. Clara. When the sun shines down like this and the leaves tremble-- The King. The sunshine seems to tremble too. Clara. Yes, but it makes one feel as if everything were trembling--even deep down into our hearts! The King. That is true.--Yes, its homes are the most precious things a nation makes. Their national characteristics mean reverence for their past and possibilities for their future. Clara. I understand better now what you meant. The King. When I said I wanted to begin at the beginning? Clara. Yes. (A pause.) The King. I cannot do otherwise. My heart must be in my work. Clara (smiling). My father had his heart in his work, too. The King. Forgive me--but don't you think it was just the want of an object in his life that led your father to push his theories too far?--an object outside himself, I mean? Clara. Perhaps. If my mother had lived--. (Stops.) The King.--he might have taken it differently; don't you think so? Clara. I have sometimes thought so. (A pause.) The King. How still it is! Not a sound! Clara. Yes, there is the fountain. The King. That is true; but one ends by hardly hearing a continuous sound like that. Clara. There is a tremulousness in _that_ too. (Looks round her.) The King. What are you looking for? Clara. It is time to look for the Baroness. The King. She is up on that slope. Shall I call her? Or--perhaps you would like to see a fine view? Clara. Yes. The King. Then let us go up to her together! (They go.) ACT III SCENE I (SCENE. An open place in the town. It is evening, and the square is badly lit. On the right is the club, a large building, standing alone; lights are shining from all its windows. Steps lead from the door, above which is a balcony. The square is full of people. In the background, standing on the lowest step of the pedestal of an equestrian statue, is a BALLAD SINGER, singing to the accompaniment of his guitar. Cigars, oranges, and other wares are being sold by hawkers. The singer's voice is heard before the curtain rises. The crowd gradually joins him in the refrain which he repeats after each verse of his ballad.) The Ballad Singer (sings). The Princeling begged and begged and begged Her love, on bended knee. The Maid said craftily, "Nay, nay, I doubt your high degree!" Refrain. She knew the might, the might, the might Of love's distracting hour; How royalty, with all its pomp, Will curtsey to its power. The Princeling said: "Consent, my dear, And you shall marry me." The Maiden answered mockingly, "Over the left, maybe!" "Nay, as my Queen, enchanting maid, And that this very day!" The Maiden answered him, "Gadzooks!" And fainted right away. Recovering, she sighed, "My Lord, Princesses will be wroth; On every side they sit and wait To plight to you their troth." He answered, "Bosh!"--"But what of those Who counselled you before?" "Whom do you mean?"--"Your ministers!" "I'll show them to the door!" "But think, my dear--your generals, Your nobles, court, and priest; They'll try to drag you from my side Or shun us as the pest." "Nay, be not feared! I'll make you more By dozens at a word, Who'll bow and grovel if they be To rank and place preferred." "But think of the republicans! My father!--what if he--?" "The cock that crows the loudest, then, Prime minister shall be!" "Suppose the people stoutly swear They'll none of me?"--"Nay, nay, An order here, a title there, And all will homage pay." "Then I am yours!"--"Hurrah!" He holds Her tight his arms between; "Nay, not so fast, my kingly love! Not till I am your Queen!" She knew the might, the might, the might Of love's distracting hour; How royalty, with all its pomp, Will curtsey to its power. An Old Gentleman (to another). What is going on here? Second Old Gentleman. I don't know. I have only just come. A Workman. Why, the King is coming past here with her! First Old Gentleman. Coming past here with her? To hold a court at the palace? The Workman. Yes. Second Old Gentleman (taking a pinch of snuff). And I suppose those fellows in the club mean to make a demonstration?--hiss them, or something of that sort? The Workman. So they say. First Old Gentleman. Have they decided not to attend the court then? A Dandy. Unanimously decided. A Woman. It's filthy! The Dandy. I beg your pardon? The Woman. I say that those fellows in there will condescend to seduce our daughters, right enough; but they won't condescend to marry them. But, you see, the King does. The Workman. I am not sure it wouldn't be better if he didn't. The Woman. Well, I know people who say that she is quite a respectable person. The Dandy. I imagine that you have not read the newspapers? First Old Gentleman. Hm!--one has to be a little careful as to how far one believes the newspapers. Second Old Gentleman (offering him his snuff-box). I am delighted to hear you say that! There is such a lot of slander flying about. That bawdy ballad just now; for instance. The Woman. Yes, that's poking fun at _him_--I know that. The Dandy. You had better take care what you are saying, my good woman! The Woman. Ah, I only say what I know. (FLINK appears on the steps of the statue beside the BALLAD SINGER.) Flink. Stop your stupid songs! I want to speak! Voice in the Crowd. Who is that? Flink. You don't know me. I have never made public speeches--and least of all to street mobs. Voice in the Crowd. Why are you doing it now, then? Flink. Because I have been charged with a message to you! (The members of the club rush to the windows and on to the balcony and steps. Uproar.) Voice in the Crowd. Be quiet! Let us hear him! Flink. Listen to me, good people! You don't know me. But you used to know a tall chap, with long white hair and a big hat, who often made speeches to you. I mean Professor Ernst. Voice in the Crowd. Three cheers for Professor Ernst. (Cheers.) Flink. He was sent to prison, as you know, for high treason; escaped from prison, but broke his legs. Now he is living in exile, hopelessly crippled. Voice in the Crowd. He got a pardon. Another. No one knows where he is. Flink. I know where he is. He has charged me to deliver a message to you to-day. Voices from the Club. Bravo! Voices from the Crowd. Has he! Bravo, Ernst! Voices from the Club. Be quiet, down there! Flink. He made me promise that, on the day on which his daughter was to be presented at the palace as the King's betrothed, I would stand up in some public place where she would pass by, and say that it was being done against her father's will and in spite of his urgent entreaties and commands. (Loud cries of "Bravo!" from the club. A voice in the crowd: "That is just what we thought!") I am charged to announce publicly that he despises her for it and sends her his curse! (Fresh cries of "Bravo!" from the club. Voices in the crowd: "That's shocking!"--"No, he was quite right;" etc., etc. Uproar.) Quiet, good people! A Young Man in the Crowd. May I be allowed to ask a question? (Shouts of "Yes!" and "No!" and laughter are heard.) Flink. By all means. The Young Man. Did not Professor Ernst himself advocate a king's doing just what our King has done? Voices in the Crowd. Hear, hear! Flink. Yes, and in return was thrown into prison and is now an incurable cripple. No one has been more cruelly treated by the King's hirelings. And now here is his daughter willing to become Queen! Count Platen (from the club balcony). I don't see why you want to blame her! No; what I say is, that it is our dissolute King's fault altogether! (Renewed uproar. Cries of: "Turn him out!" from the club.) Flink. I had something more to say about those who--. But make those fellows at the club be quiet first. A Voice. They are fighting over there! (Laughter. Wild uproar is heard from the club, amidst which COUNT PLATEN'S voice is heard shouting: "Let me be! Let me alone!"--and other voices: "Don't let him go out!"--"He is drunk!" Eventually COUNT PLATEN comes out on to the steps, hatless and dishevelled.) Count Platen. I'm going to make a speech to you! I am better than that crew in there! (Cries of "Bravo!") What I say is, that the King is coming past here directly with a woman. (Applause, and laughter. Every one crowds towards him. The police try to pull him down. A free fight ensues.) Hiss them when they come! (Cries of "Throw him down!"--"Bravo!"--"Hurrah!") I, Count Platen, tell you to do so! Hiss him, howl at him, make a regular hullabaloo when he comes! I, Count Platen, tell you to! (Cries of "Three cheers for Count Platen!" are mingled with cries of "Three cheers for the King!" There is a general tumult. COUNT PLATEN is hustled up and down the steps, and tries to go on making his speech every time he comes up.) He is defiling the throne!--He wants to marry a traitor's daughter! Shame! I, Count Platen, say so! Here I stand--! (A trumpet-call is heard; then cries of "Here is the King!"--"No, it's the cavalry!"--"The cavalry are coming!"--"Clear the square!" A shot is heard, followed by a scream; the people take to their heels as another trumpet-call is heard. Curtain.) SCENE II (SCENE.--A room in the BARONESS' house. The BARONESS is sitting reading. A MAID enters and brings her a card.) Baroness (looking at the card). The Minister of the Interior!--Show him in! (GRAN comes in.) I am glad to see you back, your Excellency!--You have found him, then? Gran. Yes, we have discovered him. Baroness. And spoken to him? Gran. Yes. Baroness. May I send for his daughter? Gran. For heaven's sake Baroness. What is the matter? Gran. He is a dying man. Baroness. What! Gran. The King desires me to tell you that he has ordered a special train to be ready at 10 o'clock, so that as soon as the court is over she can go to her father. The King will accompany her. Baroness. That is kind of him! Gran. Then you will get ready everything that she needs for a night's journey? Baroness. Yes. Gran. And without her being aware of it? The King does not wish her to know anything of her father's condition till after the court. Baroness. The court is to be held, then? Gran. The court is to be held. After it is over, His Majesty will tell her the news himself. Baroness. I am thankful for that.--But what did Professor Ernst say? Why has he not answered his daughter's letter? Why has he hidden from her? Is he really irreconcilable? Gran. Irreconcilable? He hates her! Baroness. Good heavens! Gran. And not only her, but every one that has made common cause with the King--every one! Baroness. I suppose it was to be expected.--But won't you sit down? Gran (bows, but remains standing). I had a talk with his doctor before I saw him. He had some hesitation about letting me in. It was a fortnight since his patient had been able to move. But when I told him my errand, and that I had come from the King, he let me see him. Baroness. How did he look? He was a fine man once. Gran. He was sitting in a big chair, a mere paralysed wreck of a man. But when he saw me and realised who I was--and probably, too, what my errand was--he found the strength not only to move, but to seize both his crutches and raise himself on them! I shall never forget his gaunt ashen-grey face, the feverish gleam in his sunken eyes, his unkempt hair and beard-- Baroness. He must have looked terrible! Gran. He was like a creature from beyond the grave--with an eternity of hatred in his eyes! Baroness. Oh, my God! Gran. When at last I could find my voice, I gave him his daughter's greeting, and asked if she might come and see him. A dark look came into his eyes, and his face flushed for a moment, as he gasped out: "May she be--." He could not finish the sentence. His crutches slipped from his grasp and he fell down, blood pouring from his mouth. The doctor rushed to him; and for a long time we thought he was dead. Baroness. But he came round? Gran. I waited an hour or two before I started back. Then the doctor told me that he had recovered consciousness, but that the end could certainly not be far off--perhaps not twenty-four hours. Baroness. It must have been a shock to you. Gran. It was. Baroness. But what did he mean by: "May she be--" Gran. That is what I have been wondering. Baroness. He cannot do her any harm, can he? Grad. He may give her the same reception that he gave me; if she goes. Baroness, Even if the King is with her? Gran. All the more then! Baroness. Oh, that would be horrible! But it won't prevent her going. Gran. Let us hope so! Baroness. I am certain of it! She has extraordinary strength of character--just like her father's. Gran. Yes, that is the one thing I rely on. Baroness. What do you mean? Your words sound so despondent! Gran. I mean what is perfectly true--that everything will depend upon her strength of character. Baroness. What about the King, then? Gran. I could say a great deal on that topic, Baroness; but (bows) you must excuse me--I haven't time now. Baroness. How are the elections going? Gran. They are going well--if nothing happens now? Baroness. What could happen? Gran. The situation is very strained; one must expect anything. Baroness. Are you anxious, your Excellency? Gran. I must beg leave to retire now. (A MAID comes in.) Maid (to GRAN). The Inspector of Police, who came with your Excellency, wishes to know if he may speak to your Excellency. Gran. I will come at once. (To the BARONESS.) There is rioting going on in the town, not far from here--in front of the club. Baroness (in alarm). What?--Isn't the King coming along that way? Gran. Don't be afraid! We have taken our precautions--Good-bye! (Goes out.) Baroness.--He has quite alarmed me--everything seems to come at the same time! She has had a suspicion that there was something amiss with her father; I have noticed that, but she hasn't wanted to speak about it. (CLARA comes in, dressed for the court.) Ah, there you are, my dear! Quite ready? Clara. Quite. Baroness (looking at her). Well, I daresay there have been royal brides more elaborately dressed, but I am sure there has never been one more charming. (Kisses her.) Clara. I think I hear a carriage? Baroness. I expect it is the King! Clara. I am afraid it is too early yet--but all the same I hope it is he! Baroness. Do you feel afraid? Clara. No, no--it is not that at all; it is something--something that you don't--a kind of feeling as if--as if some one were haunting me; and I know who it is. I only feel secure when the King is with me. I hope it may be he coming. (Goes to the window.) (The MAID comes in.) Maid. A lady wishes to speak to you, Miss Ernst-- Baroness. A lady? Clara. Didn't she give her name? Maid. She is veiled--and very handsomely dressed. Clara (with decision). No! I can see no one. Baroness. No one that we do not know. (To the MAID.) You ought to know that. Maid (hesitatingly). But I think it is--. (The door opens and the PRINCESS comes in.) Baroness. What does this mean? Clara! leave us, my dear. Princess (drawing aside her veil). Do you know me? Clara and Baroness. The Princess! Princess. Are you Clara Ernst? Clara. Yes. Princess (haughtily, to the BARONESS). Leave us alone! (The BARONESS goes out.) Before going to the palace I wanted to come here--even at the risk of meeting the King. Clara. He has not come yet. (A long pause.) Princess. Have you thought well over what you are going to do? Clara. I think so. Princess. I don't think you have. Have you read what the papers say about it--every one of them--to-day? Clara. No. The King has advised me not to. Princess. But the letters that have been sent to you? I know letters have been written to you. Clara. The King has advised me not to read them either. He takes all the letters. Princess. Do you know that they are rioting in the streets close to here? Clara (in alarm). No! Princess. You will be received with hisses, hooting--perhaps with stone throwing. You didn't expect anything like that, did you? Clara. No. Princess. What shall you do? Clara (after a moment, quietly). I shall go with the King. Princess. A nice road you are dragging him along, truly! And I assure you that the farther you go along it, the worse it will become. You cannot possibly have prepared yourself for all that you will have to go through. Clara. I think I have. Princess (in surprise). What do you mean? How? Clara (bending her head). I have prayed to God. Princess. Pshaw! I mean that you cannot have considered the misery into which you are dragging the King--and the disgrace and trouble you are bringing upon all his people. (CLARA is silent.) You are young still; your heart cannot be altogether hardened yet, whatever your past may have been. Clara (proudly). I have no reason to be ashamed of my past. Princess. Indeed? What sort of a past has it been, then? Clara. One full of suffering, princess--and of work. (A pause.) Princess. Do you know what the King's past has been? Clara (drooping her head). Ah, yes. Princess. Yours will be tarred with the same brush--no matter what it really has been. Clara. I know that. He has told me so. Princess. Really!--After all, is it a sacrifice you are making for his sake? Do you love the King? Clara (faintly). Yes. Princess. Then listen to me. If you loved the King, you would have made a _real_ sacrifice for him. We are women, you and I; we can understand these things without many words. But such a sacrifice does not consist in consenting to be his queen. Clara. It is not I that wished it. Princess. You have allowed yourself to be persuaded?--Well, you are either deceiving yourself, my girl, or you are deceiving him. Perhaps you began with the one and are ending with the other. Anyway, it is time you had your eyes opened as to which of you it is that is making the sacrifice. Do you not know that, on your account, he is already the target for general contempt? (CLARA bursts into tears.) If that makes you repent, show it--show it by your deeds! Clara. I repent of nothing. Princess (in astonishment). What state of mind are you in, then? Clara. I have suffered terribly. But I pray God for strength to bear it. Princess. Don't talk nonsense! The whole thing is a horrible confusion of ideas--half remorse and half cant--the one so mixed up with the other in your mind that you cannot disentangle them. But, believe me, others feel very sure that sacred things and--and what I won't call bluntly by its name, go very ill together! So don't waste those airs on me; they only irritate me! Clara. Princess, don't be cruel to me. I _am_ suffering, all the same. Princess. Why on earth do you want to go any farther with the affair? If you aren't clear about it, take advice! Your father is opposed to it, isn't he? Clara. Yes. (Throws herself into a chair.) Princess. He has hidden himself away from you. You don't know where he is, or how he is--though you know he is crippled and ill. And, meanwhile, here you are in full dress, with a rose in your hair, waiting to set out to a court at the palace! Are you willing to pass through contemptuous rioting crowds, and over your sick father's body, to become queen? What callous levity! What a presumptuous mixture of what you think is love, duty, sacrifice, trial--with an unscrupulous ambition--! The King? Are you depending on him? He is a poet. He loves anything unusual or sensational. Resistance stimulates him; and that is what drives him into believing that his love will be unending. When you have been married a week, it will be all over. If he had not met with resistance, it would have been all over before this. I know the King better than you; for I know his faithlessness. It is like his love--unending! It hurts you to hear that, does it? Well, it hurts one's eyes to look at the sun. But I can tell you about these things. The only reason I had for coming was to tell you what I know. And now that I have seen you, I can tell you that I know one thing more--and I will tell you what it is. If you actually allow the King, with his ardent temperament, to stray into a path which will lead to the ruin of his career, your action will, in the fullness of time, recoil so appallingly upon your own head that it will kill you. I know you are one of those that faithlessness, remorse and contempt _would_ kill.--Don't look so beseechingly at me; I cannot retract a word of what I have said. But I can tell you now what I had decided upon before I came. _I_ will look after your future. I am not rich; but, as sure as I stand here before you, you shall live free from care--you shall have everything that you need--for the rest of your life. I want no thanks! I do it for the sake of the King, and for the sake of the country to which I belong. It is my duty. Only get up now and come with me to my carriage. (Offers CLARA her hand.) Clara. If it were as easy as that, I should have done it long, long ago. Princess (turns away. Then comes back). Get up. (Pulls her on to her feet.) Do you love the King? Clara. Do I love him? I am a motherless child, and have lived alone with a father who has been constantly persecuted on account of his principles; I shared his ideals from a very early age, and I have never abandoned them since. Then one day I was given the chance of making these ideals real. "What _I_ long to do, _you_ shall accomplish!" he said. There is something great about that, Princess--something all-powerful--a call from God Himself. Of that I am certain. Princess. It is merely a rhapsody of the King's--nothing else! Clara. Then I will make it real and live it! I have given my whole soul to it, and have strengthened his to the same end. It has been my ideal all my life. Princess. And you believe that it will last? Clara. Yes. Princess. Then let me beg you to believe this, too--it will last until he has attained his end. Clara. If you mean our marriage, let me tell you that _that_ is not our end. Princess (in surprise). What is, then? Clara. Our end is to accomplish something together. That task shall be consecrated and ennobled by our love. Yes, you may look at me! Those were his own words. Princess. That answer!--That thought!--But what certainty have you? Clara. Of what? Princess. That you did not put the thought into his mind?--and that the fire in his soul may not flicker out? Clara. If I needed any assurance, I should find it in the fact that he changed his whole life for my sake; he waited for me for more than a year. Has he ever done that for any one before? I am sure he has never needed to! (The PRINCESS winces.) It is those who have seduced that "ardent" temperament of his--you called it that yourself--that are to blame, and not I, Princess! (A pause.) I checked him to the best of my power when he came to me as he was wont to go to others. (A pause.) Indeed it is no sacrifice to become his wife. When one loves, there is no question of sacrifice. But the position in which I now stand exposes me to more suspicion than the humblest of his subjects, to more scorn than if I were his mistress. Think how you have spoken to me to-day yourself, Princess! (A pause.) It is no sacrifice to endure such things for the man one loves. It was not I that used the word "sacrifice," either; and as for the sacrifice you implied that I ought to have made, I don't wish to understand what you meant by that, even though I am a woman as well as you! But if you knew, Princess, how hard a fight I have been through before I found the strength to cast in my lot with his, against my father's wish and against you all--you would not have spoken to me about making a sacrifice. At all events you would not have spoken to me as you have done to-day; because you are not cruel, and I know that at bottom you mean me well. (A longer pause.) Princess. This is more serious than I knew.--Poor child, your disappointment will be all the more serious. Clara. Not with him! Princess (half to herself). Is it possible he can be so changed? Was that what was needed to secure a hold on him--? (To CLARA.) Is he coming here to fetch you? Clara. Yes. Princess. What does he want to hold this court for? What is the good of throwing down this challenge to all the dignitaries of his kingdom?--especially if, after all, he means to live the life of an ordinary citizen? Clara. He wished it. Princess. An exciting episode in his rhapsody! Why did you not dissuade him? Clara. Because I agree with him. Princess. Perhaps you don't fully realise what it means?--what humiliation the King will have to undergo? Clara. I only know that it seems to me that these things should be done openly, and that he has plenty of courage. Princess. That is mere bravado. Are you going in that dress?--to court in that dress? (CLARA is silent.) I say it is mere bravado. Clara. I have no better dress. Princess. What do you mean? Surely the King can--? Are you jesting? Clara (shyly). I do not allow the King to give me anything; not until--. Princess. Doesn't he pay your expenses here, then? (Looks round the room.) Clara. No. Princess. It is the Baroness? Clara. She and I. We are both poor. Princess. Ah, yes--she has lost her post now, hasn't she? Clara. On my account--yes. And you, Princess, who have known her--for she was once your governess--can you really suppose that she would have been faithful to me if she did not trust me and feel that this was right? You treated her so contemptuously when you came in. Princess. I seem to have broken in upon the most incomprehensible romance!--Then you love the King? (CLARA nods her head.) He knows how to love, and make a woman happy! He is a dazzling creature!--We shall see now whether you are to suffer for all the hearts he has broken. You are not the first woman he has loved. Clara. Princess! Princess. Yes, let that sink into your mind! Your happiness is embroidered with tears! Clara. It is cruel of you to reproach me with it. Princess. Forgive me! I really did not mean that.--But there is still time to put on a more suitable dress. If you dare accept no gifts from the King--you might from some one else? A King's bride is a King's bride after all, you know! Clara. He told me I should not need anything more than this. Princess. Not in his eyes, I dare say. But we women know a little better!--If it were only a necklace? Will you accept this one? (Begins to unfasten hers.) Clara. I knew you were kind.--But I daren't. Princess. Why not? Clara. Because--because people would think that--. (Bursts into tears. A pause.) Princess. Listen, my child. The whole thing is sheer lunacy; but--as it cannot be altered--as soon as the court assembles I shall take my place at your side and not leave you till it is all over. Tell the King that! Good-bye! Clara (going towards her). Princess! Princess (kisses her, and whispers). Haven't you allowed him to kiss you, either? Clara (in a whisper). Yes, I have. Princess (kissing her once snore). Love him! (The sound of carriage wheels is heard. The BARONESS comes in.) Baroness. I hear the King's carriage. Princess. I don't wish to meet him. (Stretches out her hand to the BARONESS.) Baroness! (Points to the door through which the BARONESS has come in.) Can I get out that way? Baroness. Yes. (She takes the PRINCESS out. A moment later the MAID ushers in the KING, who is dressed in plain clothes and wearing no decorations.) The King. Clara! Clara. My friend! (They embrace.) The King. What does it mean? Clara. What? The King. The Princess' carriage here? Clara. She told me to greet you. She has just gone, and-- The King. And--? Clara. She said as soon as the court assembled she would take her place beside me and stay there till we left the palace. The King. Is it possible? Clara. It is _true_. The King. You have conquered her! I know she could be conquered--she has a heart, as well as a head! It is a good omen!--So she offered to do _that_! What will our precious nobility have to say to that? Clara. They are about the streets, aren't they? The King. Ah, then you know? Clara. I know, too, that there has been rioting outside the club. The King. You know that too?--and are not afraid? Clara. Perhaps I might have been--but there is something else that I am more afraid of. (Draws closer to the KING.) The King. What is that? Clara. You know. (A pause.) The King. Have you been uneasy about him to-day too? Clara. All day--incessantly. Something must have happened. The King. Well, now I can tell you where he is. Clara (eagerly). At last! Have you found him? The King. Gran has been to see him. Clara. Thank God! Is it far from here? The King. This evening, immediately after the court, you and I will both start for there in a special train. We shall be there early to-morrow. Clara (throwing her arms round his neck). Thanks, thanks! How good you are! Thanks! How is he? Is he ill! The King. Yes. Clara. I knew it? And implacable? The King. Yes. Clara. I feel it! (Nestles closer in his arms.) The King. Are you afraid? Clara. Yes! The King. Dear, when you see him perhaps your fear will go. Clara. Yes, only let me see him! Whatever he says, let me see him! The King. Within twelve hours from now you shall! And I shall be with you. Clara. The finest thing about you is your kindness. Oh, I am so glad you have come! I could not endure my fears any longer. The King. There are dissensions going on about you! Clara. Oh!--(Nestles in his arms again.) The King. Bear up!--It will soon be over. Clara. I believe it will. Yes, I know it will.--Let me walk about a little! (The KING walks up and down with her.) The King. And turn our thoughts to something else! Do you know where I have come from? Clara. Where? The King. From our little house in the park. Clara. Why, we drove past it yesterday! The King. You will feel only _one_ person's presence there! Wherever you go, you will be surrounded by the thoughts I have had of you there. If you look out of the window, or go out on to the balcony--on every rock, by each turn of the stream--on the lawns, under the trees, among the bushes--everywhere you will find a thousand thoughts of you hidden. Breathe the words "my darling girl," and they will all come clustering round you!--Let us sit down. Clara. It is all like a fairy tale. The King. And I am the latest fairy prince! (He sits down and draws her on to his knee.) And you are the little maid who comes, led by good fairies, to the enchanted castle to wake him. He has been kept asleep by wicked spells for many, many years. Clara. For many, many years! The King. I am not really _I_, nor you _you_. The monarch was bewitched long ago. He was turned into a wild beast who gave reign to his passion by night and slept by day. And now the maiden of humble degree has become a woman and freed him from the spells. Clara. Really! Ah, you are so clever at inventing things to cheat my fears away from me. And you always succeed. But after all, you know, I have no strength and no courage; I am so weak. The King. You have more strength than I!--more than any one I have ever known. Clara. No, don't say that; but--you may be sure of this!--if I did not feel that I had _some_ strength I would never try to throw in my lot with yours. The King. I will explain to you what you are! Some people are tremendously more spiritual, more delicately constituted than others; and they are a hundred times more sensitive. And they fancy that is weakness. But it is just they who draw their strength from _deeper_ sources, through a thousand imperceptible channels. You will often find them with heads erect and valiant when others have gone under; they merely bend before the storm, with supple strength, when others break under it. You are like that! Clara. You are very ingenious when you start explaining me! The King. Well, listen to this! At the time when I was behaving so badly to you, your terror, every time I approached you, was so piteous that it was always before my eyes and rang in my ears like a cry of agony from a wounded heart. It is true! It filled me with terror, too. Do you call that weakness, to feel things so intensely that another person is influenced by your feelings against his will? Clara. No. The King. And then, when I found you again--the way you listened to me-- Clara (stopping him with a kiss). Don't let us talk about it now! The King. What shall we talk about, then? It is a little too early to start yet.--Ah, I have it! We will talk about the impression you will make this evening when you come forward through the brightly lit rooms, radiant against the background of ugly calumny! That was prettily put, wasn't it? "Is _that_ she?" they will think. And then something will come into their eyes that will cheat them into thinking that pearls and gold are strewn over your hair, over your dress, over your-- Clara (putting her hand over his mouth). No, no, no! Now I am going to tell you a little story! The King. Tell away! Clara. When I was a child, I saw a balloon being filled one day, and there was a horrible smell from the gas. Afterwards, when I saw the gleaming balloon rising in the air, I thought to myself: "Ah, that horrid smell was something burning; they had to burn it for the balloon to be able to rise." And after that, every time I heard anything horrid said about my father, I felt as if something was burning inside me, and I thought of the balloon and imagined I could smell the smell. And then all at once I imagined I saw it rising; the horrid part was burnt, and it was able to mount aloft! I assure you that balloon was a good genius to me. And now, years afterwards, when I have been a target for calumny myself--and you for my sake--I have felt just the same thing. Every word has burned; but I have got over it in a moment, and risen high, high above it all! I never seem to breathe so pure an atmosphere as a little while after something cruel has been said of me. The King. I shall certainly set to work and abuse you at once, if it has such delightful results! I will begin with a selection from to-day's papers: "You Aspasia! You Messalina! You Pompadour! You Phylloxera, that are eating into our whole moral vine-crop! You blue-eyed curse of the country, that are causing panics in the money-market, overthrowing ministries, and upsetting all calculations in the elections! You mischievous hobgoblin, who are pouring gall into the printers' ink and poison into the people's coffee, filling all the old ladies' heads with buzzing flies, and the King's Majesty with a million lover's follies!" Do you know that, besides all the harm you are doing to-day, you are hastening a revolution by ten years? You are! And no one can be sure whether you haven't been pursuing the same wicked courses for the last hundred years or more! All our royal and noble ancestors are turning in their graves because of you! And if our deceased queens have any noses left-- Clara (interrupting him). The Baroness! (They get up. The BARONESS comes in wearing a cloak over her court dress and carrying CLARA'S cloak over her arm.) Baroness. I must take the liberty of disturbing you. Time is up! The King. We have been killing it by talking nonsense. Baroness. And that has put you in a good humour? The King (taking his hat). In the best of humours! Here, my darling (fastens CLARA'S cloak about her shoulders), here is the last scandalous bit of concealment for you! When we take it off again, you shall stand radiant in the light of your own truth. Come! (Gives her his arm, and they go trippingly up to the back of the room. Suddenly the phantom of an emaciated figure leaning on crutches appears in their path, staring at them. His hair and beard are in wild disorder, and blood is pouring from his mouth. CLARA gives a terrified scream.) The King. In Heaven's name, what is it? Clara. My father! The King. Where? (To the BARONESS.) Go and see! (The BARONESS opens the doors at the back and looks out). Baroness. I can see no one. The King. Look down the corridor! Baroness. No--no one there, either! (CLARA has sunk lifelessly into the KING'S arms. After one or two spasmodic twitchings of her hands, her arms slip away from him and her head falls back.) The King. Help, help! The Baroness (rushing to him with a shriek). Clara! Curtain. ACT IV (SCENE.--A room in GRAN's house; the same as in Act I, Scene II. GRAN is standing at his desk on the right. FLINK comes in carrying a pistol-case, which he puts down upon the table.) Gran. You? Flink. As you see. (Walks up and down for a little without speaking.) Gran. I haven't seen you since the day the King was here. Flink. No.--Have you taken your holidays? Gran. Yes; but, anyway, I am likely to have perpetual holidays now! The elections are going against us. Flink (walking about). So I hear. The clerical party and the reactionaries are winning. Gran. That would not have been so, but for her unhappy death--. (Breaks off, and sighs.) Flink. A judgment from heaven--that is what the parsons say, and the women, and the reactionaries-- Gran.--and the landlords. And they really believe it. Flink (stopping). Well, don't you believe it? Gran (after a pause). At all events I interpret it differently from-- Flink.--from the parson? Naturally. But can any one doubt the fact that it was the finger of fate? Gran. Then fate assumed her father's shape? Flink. Whether her father appeared to her at the moment of his death or not (shrugs his shoulders) is a matter in which I am not interested. I don't believe in such things. But that she was suffering pangs of conscience, I do believe. I believe it may have brought painful visions before her eyes. Gran. I knew her pretty well, and I will answer for it she had no guilty conscience. She was approaching her task with enthusiasm. Any one that knew her will tell you the same. With her the King was first and foremost. Flink. What did she die of, then? Of enthusiasm? Gran. Of being overwrought by the force of her emotions. Her task was too great for her. The time was not ripe for it. (Sadly.) Our experiment was bound to fail. Flink. You condemn it when you say that!--But with her last breath she called out: "My father!" And, just at that moment, he died, fifty miles away from her. Either she _saw_ him, or she _imagined_ she saw him, standing before her. But his bloodstained, maltreated, crippled form standing in the way of her criminal advance towards the throne--is that not a symbol of maltreated humanity revolting against monarchy at the very moment when monarchy wishes to atone! Its guilt through thousands of years is too black. Fate is inflexible. Gran. But with what result? Are we rid of monarchy yet? Flink. We are rid of that treacherous attempt to reconcile it with modern conditions. Thank God it emerges, hand in glove with the parsons and reactionaries, none the worse for its temporary eclipse. Gran. So everything is all right, I suppose? Flink. For the moment--yes. But there used to exist here a strong republican party, which enjoyed universal respect, and was making extraordinary progress. Where is it now? Gran. I knew that was why you came. Flink. I have come to call you to account. Gran. If I had been in your place I would not have acted so, towards a defeated and wounded friend. Flink. The republican party has often been defeated--but never despised till now. Who is to blame for that? Gran. None of us ever think we deserve contempt. Flink. A traitor always deserves it. Gran. It is but a step from the present state of things to a republic; and we shall have to take that step in the end. Flink. But at least we can do so without treachery. Gran. I honestly believe that what we did was right. It may have miscarried the first time, and may miscarry a second and a third; but it is the only possible solution. Flink. You pronounced your doom in those words. Gran (more attentively). What do you mean by that? Flink. We must make sure that such an attempt will not be made again. Gran. So that is it.--I begin to understand you now. Flink. The republican party is broken up. For a generation it will be annihilated by contempt. But a community without a republican party must be one without ideals and without any aspirations towards truth in its political life--and in other respects as well! That is what you are responsible for. Gran. You pay me too great a compliment. Flink. By no means! Your reputation, your personal qualities and associations are what have seduced them. Gran. Listen to me for a moment! You used to overrate me in the hopes you had of me. You are overrating me now in your censure. You are overrating the effects of our failure--you never seem to be able to do anything but overshoot your mark. For that reason you are a danger to your friends. You lure them on. When things go well you lure them on to excess of activity; when things go ill, you turn their despondency into despair. Your inordinate enthusiasm obscures your wits. _You_ are not called upon to sit in judgment upon any one; because you draw the pure truths that lie hidden in your soul into such a frenzied vortex of strife that you lose sight of them; and then they have so little of truth left in them that in your hands they can be answerable for crimes. Flink. Oh, spare me your dialectics!--because any skill you have in them, _I_ taught you! You cannot excuse your own sins by running over the list of mine; that is the only answer I have to make to you! I don't stand before you as the embodiment of truth; I am no braggart. No; but simply as one who has loved you deeply and now is as deeply offended by you, I ask this question of your conscience: What have you done with the love we had for one another? Where is the sacred cause we both used to uphold? Where is our honour--our friends--our future? Gran. I feel respect for your sorrow. Can you not feel any for mine? Or do you suppose that I am not suffering? Flink. You cannot act as you have done without bringing unhappiness upon yourself. But there are others to be considered besides you, and we have the right to call you to account. Answer me! Gran. And is it really you--you, my old friend--that propose to do that? Flink. God knows I would sooner some one else did it! But none can do it so fitly as I--because no one else has loved you as I have. I expected too much of you, you say? The only thing I wanted of you was that you should be faithful! I had so often been disappointed; but in you and your quiet strength I thought I had splendid security that, as long as you lived, our cause would bear itself proudly and confidently. It was your prestige that brought it into being; your wealth that supported it. It did not cry aloud for the blood of martyrs!--You were the happiness of my life; my soul renewed its strength from yours. Gran. Old friend--! Flink. I was old, and you were young! Your nature was a harmonious whole--it was what I needed to lean upon. Gran. Flink, my dear old friend--! Flink. And now, here you stand--a broken man, and our whole cause broken with you; all our lives broken--at least mine is-- Gran. Don't say that! Flink. You have destroyed my faith in mankind--and in myself, for I see what a mistake I made; but it will be the last I shall make! I took you to my heart of hearts--and now, the only thing I can do is to call you to account! Gran. What do you want me to do? Tell me! Flink. We must stand face to face--armed! You must die! (A pause.) Gran (without seeming greatly surprised). Of the two of us, it will go hardest with you, old friend. Flink. You think your aim will be the surer of the two? (Goes towards the table.) Gran. I was not thinking of that--but of what your life would be afterwards. I know you. Flink (opening the pistol-case). You need not be anxious! My life afterwards will not be a long one. What you have done has robbed me of anything to live for in this generation, and I don't aspire to live till the next. So it is all over and done with! (Takes up the pistols.) Gran. Do you mean _here_--? Flink. Why not? We are alone here. Gran. The King is asleep in the next room. (Points to the door near his desk.) Flink. The King here? Gran. He came here to-night. Flink. Well, it will wake him up; he will have to wake up some time, any way. Gran. It would be horrible! No! Flink. Indeed? It is for his sake you have betrayed me. You did that as soon as ever you met him again. He has bewitched you. Let him hear and see what he has done! (Holds out the pistols.) Here! Gran. Wait. What you have just said brings a doubt into my mind. Is not revenge, after all, the motive for what you are doing? Flink. Revenge? Gran. Yes. Don't misunderstand me; I am not trying to shuffle out of it. If I were free to choose, I would choose death rather than anything else. The King knows that, too. But I ask because there ought to be some serious reason for anything that may happen. I am not going to stand up and face a sentiment of revenge that is so ill-grounded. Flink (laying the pistols down). I hate the man who has led you astray--that is true. When I was giving you the reasons why I took upon myself the task of calling you to account, perhaps I forgot that. I hate him. But the instrument that carries out a sentence is one thing; the sentence itself is quite another. You arc sentenced to death because you have betrayed our cause--and because you say that you were right to do so. The world shall learn what that costs. It costs a man's life. Gran. So be it! Flink. The pistols are loaded. I loaded them myself. I imagine that you still have trust in my honour? Gran (with a smile). Indeed I have. Flink. One of them has a blank cartridge in it; the other is fully loaded. Choose! Gran. But what do you mean? Suppose I were to--? Flink. Don't be afraid! Heaven will decide! _You_ will not choose the fully loaded one!--We shall stand face to face. Gran. You are settling everything--the sentence, the challenge, the choice of weapons, the regulations for the duel--! Flink. Are you dissatisfied with that? Gran. By no means! You are quite welcome! We are to have no seconds? So be it. But the place? Flink. The place? Here! Gran. Horrible! Flink. Why? (Holds out the two pistols to him. The door to the left is opened softly. ANNA looks in, sees what is going on, and rushes with a pitiful attempt at a scream to GRAN, putting her arms round him protectingly, and caressing him with every sign of the utmost terror.) Gran (bending down and kissing her). She is right! Why should I die for the sake of dull theories, when I can hold life in my arms as I do now? A man who is loved has something left, after all. I won't die! Flink. If you were not loved, my friend, you might be allowed to live. A cry of sorrow will be heard throughout the land, from the King's palace to the meanest hovel, when you have been shot. And that is just why I must do it! The louder the cry of sorrow, the greater will be the silence afterwards. And in that silence is to be found the answer to the question "Why?" The people will not allow themselves to be cheated any longer. Gran. Horrible! I won't do it! (Lifts ANNA in his arms as if she were a child.) Flink (going up to him). It is no mere theory that you are facing. Look at me! Gran. Old friend--_must_ it be? Flink. It _must_. I have nothing else left to do. Gran. But not here. Flink. Since it cannot be here, then come out into the park. (Puts the pistols into their case.) You owe me that. Gran (to ANNA). You must go, my dear! Flink (putting the pistol-case under his arm). No, let her stay here. But you come! (They all three move towards the door. ANNA will not let GRAN go, and there is a struggle until he, half commanding and half entreating, persuades her to stay behind. The two men go out, shutting the door after them. She throws herself against the door, but it has been locked on the outside. She sinks down to the floor in despair, then gets up, as if struck by a sudden idea, rushes into the room on the right, and almost immediately re-appears, dragging the KING after her. He is only half-dressed and has no shoes on.) The King. What is it? (A shot is heard.) What is it? (ANNA pulls him to the door. He tries to open it, but in vain. She rushes to the window, with the KING after her. Meanwhile the door is opened from outside, and FALBE comes in, evidently overcome with emotion.) What is it, Falbe? (ANNA runs out.) Falbe. His Excellency the Minister of the Interior-- The King. Well, what of him? Falbe.--has been assassinated! The King. The Minister of the Interior?--Gran? Falbe. Yes. The King. Gran?--What did you say? Falbe. He has been assassinated! The King. Gran? Impossible!--Where? Why? I heard his voice only just now, here! Falbe. That fellow shot him--the grey-haired fellow--the republican The King. Flink? Yes, I heard his voice here too! Falbe. It was in the park! I saw it myself! The King. Saw it yourself? Wretch! (Rushes out.) Falbe. How could I prevent a madman--? (Follows the KING. The door stands open, and through it a man is seen running past, calling out: "Where?" Others follow him, and amidst the sound of hurrying feet, cries are heard of "Good God!"--"In the park, did you say?"--"A doctor! Fetch a doctor!"--"Who did it?"--"That fellow running towards the river!"--"After him! After him!"--"Fetch a barrow from the works!"--After a while the KING returns alone, looking distracted. He stands motionless and silent for some time.) The King. What a happy smile there was on his face! Just as she smiled!--Yes, it must be happiness! (Hides his face in his hands.) And he died for me too! My two only--. (Breaks down.) So that is the price they have to pay for loving me!--And at once! At once!--Of course! Of course! (The sound of the crowd returning is heard, and cries of: "This way!"--"Into the blue room!" Women and children come streaming in, all in tears, surrounding ANNA and the men that are carrying GRAN'S body, and follow them into the room on the left. Cries are heard of: "Why should he die?"--"He was so good!"--"What had he done to deserve it!"--"He was the best man in the world!") The King. "He was the best man in the world!" Yes. And he died for my sake! That means something good of me!--the best possible! Are they two together now, I wonder? Oh, let me have a sign!--or is that too much to ask? (The crowd come out again, sobbing and weeping, and cries are heard of: "He looks so beautiful and peaceful!"--"I can't bring myself to believe it!" When they see the KING, they hush their voices, and all go out as quietly as they can. When they have gone out, the MAYOR's voice is heard asking: "Is he in here?" and an answer: "No, in the blue room, over there." Then the GENERAL'S voice: "And the murderer escaped?"--An answer: "They are looking for him in the river!"--The GENERAL'S voice: "In the river? Did he jump into the river?"--The PRIEST's voice: "Shocking!" A few moments later the GENERAL with BANG, the MAYOR, and the PRIEST come in from the other room. They stop on seeing the KING, who is standing at the desk with his back to them, and whisper.) The General. Isn't that the King? The Others. The King? The Mayor. Is the King back? He must have come in the night! Bang. Let me see!--I know him personally. The General (holding him back). Of course it is the King. The Mayor. Really? Bang. I recognise him by his agitation! It is he. The General. Hush! Let us go quietly out again! (They begin to move off.) The Mayor. He is grieved. Naturally. Bang. First of all her death; and then this--! The Priest. It is the judgment of heaven! The King (turning round). Who is that? What? (Comes forward.) Who said that? (They all stop, take off their hats and bow.) Come back! (They come back hastily.) Who said: "It is the judgment of heaven"? The General. Your Majesty must forgive us--we were just taking a little stroll; I am here to spend Christmas with my friend Mr. Bang, who has a factory here--a branch of his works--and we happened to meet the Mayor and the Priest, and we joined company--and were strolling along when we heard a shot. A shot. We did not think anything more about it till we came nearer here and saw people running, and heard a great outcry and disturbance. Great disturbance--yes. We stopped, of course, and came to see what it was. Came to see what it was, of course. And they told us that the Minister of the Interior-- The King. What is all that to me! (The GENERAL bows.) Who said: "It is the judgment of heaven"? (No one speaks.) Come, answer me! The Mayor. It was the Priest--I fancy. The King (to the PRIEST). Haven't you the courage to tell me so yourself? The General. Probably our reverend friend is unaccustomed to find himself in the presence of royalty. The Priest. It is the first time that--that I have had the honour of speaking to your Majesty--I did not feel self-possessed enough, for the moment, to-- The King. But you were self-possessed enough when you said it! What did you mean by saying it was "the judgment of heaven"?--I am asking you what you meant by it. The Priest. I really don't quite know--it slipped out-- The King. That is a lie! Some one said: "First of all her death, and then this." And you said: "It is the judgment of heaven." The Mayor. That is quite right, your Majesty. The King. First of all _her_ death? That meant the death of my betrothed, didn't it? Bang and The Priest. Yes, your Majesty. The King. "And then _this_" meant my friend--my dear friend! (With emotion.) Why did heaven condemn these two to death? (A pause.) The General. It is most regrettable that we should, quite involuntarily, have disturbed your Majesty at a moment when your Majesty's feelings are, naturally, so overcome-- The King (interrupting him). I asked you why heaven condemned these two to death. (To the VICAR.) You are a clergyman; cudgel your brains! The Priest. Well, your Majesty, I was thinking that--I meant that--that heaven had in a miraculous way checked your Majesty-- The General. "Ventured to check" would be more suitable, I think. The Priest.--from continuing in a course which many people thought so unfortunate--I mean, so fatal to the nation, and the church; had checked your Majesty-- The General (in an undertone). Ventured to check. The Priest.--by taking away from your Majesty the two persons who--the two persons who--in the first place the one who-- The King. The one who--? The Priest. Who was-- The King. Who was--? A harlot that wanted to sit on the throne? The Priest. Those are your Majesty's word, not mine. (Wipes his forehead.) The King. Confess that they express what you meant! The Priest. I confess that I have heard--that people say--that-- The King. Pray to heaven that for a single day your thoughts may be as pure as hers were every day. (Bursts into tears. Then says impetuously.) How long have you been a clergyman? The Priest. Fifteen years, your Majesty. The King. Then you were already ordained at the time when I was leading a dissolute life. Why did you never say anything to me then? The Priest. My most gracious King-- The King. God is the only "most gracious King"! Do not speak blasphemy! The Priest. It was not my duty to-- The General. Our friend is not a court chaplain. He has merely a parish in the town here-- The Mayor. And his work lies chiefly among the factory hands. The King. And so it is not your duty to speak the truth to me--but to attack my dear dead friends by prating about heaven's judgment and repeating vile lies? Is that your duty? The Mayor. I only had the honour to know one of the--the deceased. Your Majesty honoured him with your friendship; the greatest honour a subject can enjoy. I should like to say that one would rarely find a nobler heart, a loftier mind, or more modest fidelity, than his. The General. I should like, if I may make so bold, to make use of the opportunity chance has afforded me of associating myself with my sovereign's sorrow, a sorrow for which his whole people must feel the deepest respect, but especially those who, in consequence of their high position, are more particularly called upon to be the pillars of the monarchy; to use this opportunity, I say--and to do so, I know, as the representative of many thousands of your Majesty's subjects--to voice the sympathy, the unfeigned grief, that will be poured forth at the news of this new loss which has wrung your Majesty's heart--a loss which will reawaken consternation in the country and make it more than ever necessary to take the severest possible measures against a party to which nothing is sacred, neither the King's person nor the highest dignities of office nor the inviolability of the home--a party whose very existence depends on sedition and ought no longer to be tolerated, but ought, as the enemy of the throne and of society, to be visited with all the terrors of the law, until-- The King. What about compassion, my friend? The General. Compassion? The King. Not for the republicans--but for me! The General. It is just the compassion which the whole nation will feel for your Majesty that compels me, in spite of everything, to invoke the intervention of justice at this particular crisis! Terror-- The King.--must be our weapon? The General. Yes! Can any one imagine a more priceless proof of the care that a people have for their King, than for the gravely anxious tones of their voice to be heard, at this solemn moment, crying: Down with the enemies of the throne! The King (turning away). No, _I_ haven't thews and sinews for that lie! The Mayor. I must say I altogether agree with the General. The feeling of affection, gratitude, esteem-- The General.--the legacy of devotion that your Majesty's ancestors of blessed memory-- The King (to the Priest). You, sir--what does my ancestors being "of blessed memory" mean? The Priest (after a moment's thought). It is a respectful manner of alluding to them, your Majesty. The King. A respectful lie, you mean. (A pause. ANNA comes out of the room on the left and throws herself at the KING'S feet, embracing his knees in despairing sorrow.) Ah, here comes a breath of truth!--And you come to me, my child, because you know that we two can mourn together. But I do not weep, as you do; because I know that for a long time he had been secretly praying for death. He has got his wish now. So you must not weep so bitterly. You must wish what he wished, you know. Ah, what grief there is in her eyes! (Sobs.) (The GENERAL signs to the others that they should all withdraw quietly, without turning round. They gradually do so; but the KING looks up and perceives what they are doing.) The General. Out of respect for your Majesty's grief, we were going to-- The King. Silence! With my hand on the head of this poor creature, who used to trust so unassumingly and devotedly to his goodness of heart, I wish to say something in memory of my friend. (ANNA clings to him, weeping. The others come respectfully nearer, and wait.) Gran was the richest man in the country. Why was it that he had no fear of the people? Why was it that he believed that its salvation lay in the overthrow of the present state of affairs? Bang. Mr. Gran, with all his great qualities, was a visionary. The King. He had not inherited all of his vast fortune; he had amassed a great part of it himself. Bang. As a man of business, Mr. Gran was beyond all praise. The King. And yet a visionary? The two things are absolutely contradictory.--You once called me "the padlock on your cash-box." Bang. I allowed myself, with all respect, to make that jest--which, nevertheless, was nothing but the serious truth! The King. Why did he, who has met his death, consider that the security for _his_ cash-box came from those _below_ him, as long as he did what was right, and not from those above him? Because he understood the times. No question of selfishness stood in the way of his doing that.--That is my funeral oration over him!--(To ANNA.) Get up, my dear! Did you understand what I was saying? Do not weep so! (She clings to him, sobbing.) The Priest. He was a very great man! When your Majesty speaks so, I fully recognise it. But your Majesty may be certain that, though we may not have been so fortunate as to see so far ahead and so clearly--though our mental horizon may be narrow--we are none the less loyal to your Majesty for that, nor less devoted! It is our duty as subjects to say so, although your Majesty in your heaviness of heart seems to forget it-seems to forget that we, too, look for everything from your Majesty's favour, wisdom and justice. (Perspires freely.) The King. It is very strange! My dear friend never said anything like that to me. (A pause.) He had the most prosperous business in the country. When I came to him and asked him to abandon it, he did so at once. And in the end he died for me. That is the sort of man he was. (To ANNA.) Go in to him, my dear! You are the very picture of dumb loyalty. Although I do not deserve to have such as you to watch by my side, still, for the sake of him who is dead, I shall have you to do so when I too--. (Breaks off.) Yes, yes, go in there now! I shall come. Do you understand? I shall come. (ANNA moves towards the other room.) There, that's it! (He repeats his words to her every time she looks back as she goes.) Yes, directly!--That's it!--In a very little while! Go now! Bang. Excuse me, your Majesty, but it is terribly hot in here, and the affection of my heart which troubles me is attacking me painfully. Will your Majesty be pleased to allow me to withdraw? The Mayor. With all respect, I should like to be allowed to make the same request. Your Majesty is obviously very much upset, and I am sure we are all unwilling that our presence--which, indeed, was unintentional and unsought by us--should augment a distress of mind which is so natural in one of your Majesty's noble disposition, and so inevitable considering the deep sense of gratitude your Majesty must feel towards a friend who-- The King (interrupting him). Hush, hush! Let us have a little respect for the truth in the presence of the dead! Do not misunderstand me--I do not mean to say that any of you would lie wilfully; but the atmosphere that surrounds a king is infected. And, as regards that--just a word or two. I have only a short time. But as a farewell message from me-- The Priest. A farewell message? The King.--give my greeting to what is called Christianity in this country. Greet it from me! I have been thinking a great deal about Christian folk lately. The Priest. I am glad to hear it! The King. Your tone jars on me! Greet those who call themselves Christians--. Oh! come, come--don't crane your necks and bend your backs like that, as if the most precious words of wisdom were about to drop from my lips! (To himself.) Is it any use my saying anything serious to them? (Aloud.) I suppose you are Christians? The General. Why, of course! Faith is invaluable-- The King.--in preserving discipline? (To the Mayor.) How about you? The Mayor. I was taught by my parents, of blessed memory-- The King. Oh, so they are "of blessed memory" too, are they? Well, what did they teach you? The Mayor. To fear God, honour the King-- The King.--and love the brotherhood! You are a public official, Mr. Mayor. That is what a Christian is, nowadays. (To BANG.) And you? Bang. Of late I have been able to go so little to church, because of my cough. And in that unwholesome atmosphere-- The King.--you go to sleep. But you are a Christian? Bang. Undoubtedly! The King (to the Priest). And you are one, of course? The Priest. By the grace of God I hope so! The King (snapping his fingers). Yes, that is the regulation formula, my good fellow! You all answer by the card! Very well, then--you are a community of Christians; and it is not my fault if such a community refuses to take any serious interest in what really affects Christianity. Tell it from me that it ought to keep an eye on the monarchy. The Priest. Christianity has nothing to do with such things. It concerns only the souls of men! The King (aside). That voice. (Aloud.) I know--it does not concern itself with the air a patient breathes, but only with his lungs! Excellent!--All the same, Christianity ought to keep an eye on the monarchy. Ought to tear the falsehood away from it! Ought not to go in crowds to stare at a coronation in a church, like apes grinning at a peacock! I know what I felt at that moment. I had rehearsed it all once that morning already--ha, ha! Ask your Christianity if it may not be about time for it to interest itself a little in the monarchy? It seems to me that it scarcely ought any longer to allow monarchy, like a seductive harlot, to keep militarism before the people's eyes as an ideal--seeing that that is exactly contrary to the teachings of Christianity, or to encourage class divisions, luxury, hypocrisy and vanity. Monarchy has become so all-pervading a lie that it infects even the most upright of men. The Mayor. But I don't understand, your Majesty! The King. Don't you? You are an upright man yourself, Mr. Mayor--a most worthy man. The Mayor. I do not know whether your Majesty is pleased to jest again? The King. In sober earnest, I say you are one of the most upright of men. The Mayor. I cannot tell your Majesty how flattered I am to hear your Majesty say so! The King. Have you any decorations? The Mayor. Your Majesty's government has not, so far, deigned to cast their eyes on me. The King. That fault will be repaired. Be sure of that! The General (to the Mayor). To have that from his Majesty's own mouth is equivalent to seeing it gazetted. I am fortunate to be able to be the first to congratulate you! Bang. Allow me to congratulate you also! The Priest. And me too! I have had the honour of working hand in hand with you, Mr. Mayor, for many years; I know how well deserved such a distinction is. The Mayor. I feel quite overcome; but I must beg to be allowed to lay my thanks at your Majesty's feet. I trust I shall not prove unworthy of the distinction. One hesitates to make such confessions--but I am a candid man, and I admit that one of the chief aims of my ambition has been to be allowed some day to participate in-- The King (interrupting him).--in this falsehood. That just points my moral. As long as even upright men's thoughts run in that mould, Christianity cannot pretend to have any real hold on the nation. As for your decoration, you are quite sure to get one from my successor.--In a word, Christianity must tackle monarchy! And if it cannot tear the falsehood from it without destroying it, then let it destroy it! The General. Your Majesty! The King (turning to him). The same thing applies to a standing army, which is a creation of monarchy's. I do not believe that such an institution--with all its temptations to power, all its inevitable vices and habits--could be tolerated if Christianity were a living thing. Away with it! The Priest. Really, your Majesty--! The King (turning to him). The same applies to an established church--another of monarchy's creations! If we had in our country a Christianity worth the name, that salvation trade would stink in men's nostrils. Away with it! The Mayor (reproachfully). Oh, your Majesty! The King (turning on him). The same applies to the artificial disparity of circumstances that you prate about with tears in your eyes! I heard you once. Class distinctions are fostered by monarchy. Bang. But equality is an impossibility! The King. If _you_ would only make it possible--which it can be made--even the socialists would cease to clamour for anything else. I tell you this: Christianity has destroyed ideals. Christianity lives on dogmas and formulas, instead of on ideals. The Priest. Its ideals lead us away from earth to heaven-- The King. Not in a balloon, even if it were stuffed full of all the pages of the Bible! Christianity's ideals will lead to heaven only when they are realised on earth--never before. The Priest. May I venture to say that Christianity's ideal is a pious life. The King. Yes. But does not Christianity aim at more than that, or is it going to be content with making some few believers? The Priest. It is written: "Few are chosen." The King. Then it has given up the job in advance? The Mayor. I think our friend is right, that Christianity has never occupied itself with such things as your Majesty demands of it. The King. But what I mean is, could it not bring itself to do so? The Priest. If it did, it would lose sight of its _inner_ aim. The earliest communities are the model for a Christian people! The King (turning away from him). Oh, have any model you like, so long as it leads to something! The General. I must say I am astonished at the penetration your Majesty slows even into the deepest subjects. Bang. Yes, I have never heard anything like it! I have not had the advantage of a university education, so I don't really understand it. The King. And to think that I imagined that I should find my allies, my followers, in Christian people! One is so reluctant to give up _all_ hope! I thought that a Christian nation would storm the strongholds of lies in our modern, so-called Christian communities--storm them, capture them!--and begin with monarchy, because that would need most courage, and because its falsehood lies deepest and goes farthest. I thought that Christianity would one day prove to be the salt of the earth. No, do _not_ greet Christianity from me. I have said nothing, and do not mean it. I am what men call a betrayed man--betrayed by all the most ideal powers of life. There! Now I have done! The General. But what does your Majesty mean? Betrayed? By whom? Who are the traitors? Really--! The King. Pooh! Think it over!--As a matter of fact I am the only one that has been foolish. Bang. Your Majesty, just now you were so full of vigour--! The King. Don't let that astonish you, my friend! I am a mixture of enthusiasm and world-weariness; the scion of a decrepit race is not likely to be any better than that, you know! And as for being a reformer--! Ha, ha! Well, I thank you all for having listened to me so patiently. Whatever I said had no significance--except perhaps that, like the oysters, I had to open my shell before I died.--Good-bye! The General. I really cannot find it in my heart to leave your Majesty when your Majesty is in so despondent a humour. The King. I am afraid you will have to try, my gallant friend!--Don't look so dejected, Mr. Mayor!--Suppose some day serious-minded men should feel just as humiliated at such falsehoods existing as you do now because you have not been allowed to participate in them. I might perhaps be able to endure being king then! But as things are now, I am not strong enough for the job. I feel as if I had been shouldered out of actual life on to this strip of carpet that I am standing on! That is what my attempts at reform have ended in! The Mayor. May I be allowed to say that the impression made on my mind by the somewhat painful scene we have just gone through is that your Majesty is overwrought. The King. Mad, you mean? The Mayor. God forbid I should use such a word of my King! The King. Always punctilious!--Well, judging by the fact that every one else considers themselves sane, I must undoubtedly be the mad one. It is as simple as a sum in arithmetic.--And, in all conscience, isn't it madness, when all is said and done, to take such trifles so much to heart?--to bother about a few miserable superannuated forms that are not of the slightest importance?--a few venerable, harmless prejudices?--a few foolish social customs and other trumpery affairs of that sort? The General. Quite so! The Mayor. Your Majesty is absolutely right! Bang. I quite agree! The Priest. It is exactly what I have been thinking all the time. The King. And probably we had better add to the list certain extravagant ideas--perhaps even certain dangerous ideas, like mine about Christianity? The Priest (hastily and impressively). Your Majesty is mistaken on the subject of Christianity. The Mayor. Christianity is entirely a personal matter, your Majesty. The General. Your Majesty expects too much of it. Now, as a comfort for the dying--! The King. And a powerful instrument of discipline. The General (smiling). Ah, your Majesty! Bang (confidentially). Christianity is no longer such a serious matter nowadays, except for certain persons--. (Glances at the PRIEST.) The King. All I have to say on the head of such unanimous approval is this: that in such a shallow society, where there is no particular distinction between lies and truth, because most things are mere forms without any deeper meaning--where ideals are considered to be extravagant, dangerous things--it is not so _very_ amusing to be alive. The General. Oh, your Majesty! Really, you--! Ha, ha, ha! The King. Don't you agree with me?--Ah, if only one could grapple with it!--but we should need to be many to do that, and better equipped than I am. The General. Better equipped than your Majesty? Your Majesty is the most gifted man in the whole country! All. Yes! The General. Yes--your Majesty must excuse me--I spoke involuntarily! The Mayor. There was a tone running through all your Majesty said that seemed to suggest that your Majesty was contemplating--. (Breaks off.) The King.--going away? Yes. All. Going away? The General. And abdicating? For heaven's sake, your Majesty--! Bang. That would mean handing us over to the crown prince--the pietist! The Priest (betraying his pleasure in spite of himself). And his mother! The King. You are pleased at the idea, parson! It will be a sight to see her and her son prancing along, with all of you in your best clothes following them! Hurrah! The General. Ha, ha, ha! Ho, ho, ho! Bang. Ha-ha-ha! (Coughs.) I get such a cough when I laugh. The King (seriously). I had no intention of provoking laughter in the presence of death. I can hear the sounds of mourning through the open door. The Mayor. With all due respect to the church--the vast majority of the nation have no desire for things to come to _that_--to the accession of a pietist to the throne. If your Majesty threatens to abdicate you will have us all at your feet. The General (with decision). The accession of a new king just now would be universally considered a national calamity. I will wager my life on that! Bang. And I too! The King. My excellent friends--you must take the consequences of your actions! The Mayor (despairingly). But _this_! Who ever imagined such a thing? The General and Bang. No one--no one! The King. So much the worse. What is it you are asking me to do? To stay where I am, so as to keep another man down? Is that work for a man? Shame! The Mayor (in distress). We ask more than that! Your Majesty is making a fatal mistake! The whole of your Majesty's dissatisfaction springs from the fact that you believe yourself to be deserted by your people because the elections are going contrary to what your Majesty had hoped. Nothing is further from the truth! The people fight shy of revolutionary ideas; but they love their King! Bang. They love their King! The King. And that white dove, who came confidently to my hand--she had some experience of what their love was! The Mayor. The King's associates may displease the people; ideas may alter; but love for their King endures! The Others. Endures! The King. Cease! Cease! The General (warmly). Your Majesty may command us to do anything except refrain from giving utterance to a free people's freely offered homage of devotion, loyalty, and love for its royal house! The Mayor (emotionally). There is no one who would not give his life for his King! Bang, The General, and The Priest. No one! The General. Try us! (They all press forward.) The King. Done with you! (Takes a revolver from his pocket.) Since yesterday I have carried this little thing in my pocket. (They all look alarmed.) The Priest. Merciful heavens! The King (holding out the revolver to him). Will you die for me? If so, I will continue to be King. The Priest. I? What does your Majesty mean? It would be a great sin! The King. You love me, I suppose? All (desperately). Yes, your Majesty! The King. Those who love, believe. Therefore, believe me when I say this: If there is a single one of you who, without thinking twice about it, will die for his King now--here--at once--then I shall consider that as a command laid upon me to go on living and working. The Mayor (in a terrified whisper). He is insane! The General (whispers). Yes! The King. I can hear you!--But I suppose you love your King, even if he is insane? All (in agitated tones). Yes, your Majesty! The King. Majesty, majesty! There is only One who has any majesty about Him--certainly not a madman! But if I have been driven mad by the lies that surround me, it would be a holy deed to make me sound again. You said you would die for me. Redeem your words! That will make me well again!--You, General? The General. My beloved King, it would be--as our reverend friend so aptly put it--a most dreadful sin. The King. You have let slip a splendid opportunity for showing your heroism.--You ought to have seen that I was only putting you to the test!--Good-bye! (Goes into the room on the left.) The General. Absolutely insane! The Others. Absolutely. The Mayor. Such great abilities, too! What might not have been made of him! Bang. The pity of it! The Priest. I got so alarmed. Bang. So did I! (A loud pistol-shot is heard.) The Priest. Another shot? (A pitiful woman's cry is heard from the other room.) The Mayor. What on earth was that? Bang. I daren't think! The Priest. Nor I! (An old woman rushes out of the room on the left, calling out: "Help!--Help!--The King!" and hurries out at the back, calling: "The King! Help, help!" The GENERAL and the MAYOR rush into the other room. Voices are heard outside asking: "The King?--Was it the King?" The confusion and uproar grows. In the midst of it ANNA comes stumbling out of the other room, her hands stretched out before her, as if she did not know where she was going. The noise and confusion grows louder every minute, and crowds of people come rushing into the room from outside as the Curtain falls.) Publication Date: September 1st 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-bx.bjornson

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-earon-lenea-lies-never-last/

Earon Lenea Lies Never Last ONE (CHRISTY) Sighing I watched Alex hang out with his new friends. The rich ones 'cool' ones. Unlike me. I'm the freak with no friends, no money. I had one, a long time ago. Alex Nomak. The sweetest boy in this school, or well he used to be. One day out of nowhere he just left me. Sneered at me like all the other kids in school. The Emo Chick that’s my name. Only name anyone knows. A long time ago people knew my by Christy but now, even the teachers don’t know my name. I do good enough to pass but that’s about it. I’m not in classes most days, if at all it seems lately. I live on my own. My mom passed away a few years ago. My dad is a lazy drunk. Leaving school again I walked down to the tracks. I’m a senior this year. One more month left and I can get as far away from hell hole as possible. I might try Collage, I doubt it though. As I walked along the railroad tracks I closed my eyes letting the peace of being alone cloud my senses. I felt my lips turn up into a small smile, a sigh slipped through my lips as the sun warmed my face. "Hey you." Jerking in shock I slipped on the railing I was standing on. Quickly the guy that had yelled out to me dove for me but didn’t get to me in time. My head hit something and I blacked out. TWO (COLE) I looked up and saw a figure moving a little bit away from me. The same girl that comes through here almost every day. She had her face lifted to the sky a small smile on her lips. As I got closer saw cuts running down her arms. The most beautiful girl in the word was covered in scars. "Hey you!" I yelled out not thinking about it. Her whole body jerked, her eyes flying open. She screeches as her foot slipped off of the railings. I dived towards her but didn’t get to her fast enough. Her head hit the railings. I froze then noticed blood running from her head. Grabbing my phone out of my pocket I called 911. After getting off of the phone I slowly knelt lifting her onto my lap she was to still. I brushed her hair out of her face. I held her waiting for everyone to show up. I rode with her to the ER. They stitched her head closed then told me to take her home, giving me her address. She woke up as I was buckling her into the front seat of Isaac, my best friend's car. "Who are you and what are you doing to me?" she shrieked "Calm down it’s alright. You fell and hit your head splitting it open. They asked me to give you a ride home. They couldn’t get a hold of your dad so I offered. It was my fault you fell. I feel really bad." "I don’t remember anything." "You were walking along the railroad railings and I yelled out to you and you slapped and fell. It’s all my fault. I’m so sorry." "Don’t feel bad. It was an accident," she whispered her eyes drifting shut. I climbed into the driver’s seat. Pulling out of the parking lot I felt a hand rest on my arm. I looked over at the girl; I still don’t know her name, "yes?" "I don’t want to go home, will you take me to a hotel or something." "You need to go home you need someone to watch you tonight." "I’m not going to have anyone to watch me at home I’m better off at a Hotel." "What do you mean? Where are your mom and dad?" "My mom died and my dad is a drunk. He doesn’t want me." "You can come home with me ill watch you but you need to leave a message for your dad so he won’t call the cops." sending me a small smile she rested her head back against the head rest, closing her eyes she feel back to sleep. THREE (CHRISTY) I dont no what had came over me when I asked this boy that I dont know to take me to his place, I just knew that I didnt want to go home. When I woke up again the boy was carring me up a set of stairs. Gently he placed me onto a bed, handing me a phone. I called my dad but he didnt answer, no suprise, so I left him a message even though I knew he could care less what I was doing. dropping the phone beside my head I curled up under the blankets quickly falling back to sleep. "Sweetie? Wake up. You need to eat." "Mmkay." I Moaned trying to get up but I got to dizzy and feel back onto the bed. "You don't need to get out of bed lets just get you sat up," I looked at the boy over me and smiled softly. "Help me?" I asked blushing "Oh yeah. Sorry." I heard a plate being sat down then he was quickly back at my side, "if I hurt you please tell me." "alright," i smled up at him as he gently slid his arm under me. I let out a hiss as he pressed on a tender spot on my arm. "im sorry im so sorry," he gasped as i dug my nails into his arm. Publication Date: July 6th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-earon.star

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-choco-k-thousand-years-of-love/

Choco K Thousand years of Love An all meine Leser die für meine Rechtschreibung und Grammatik verzeihen mögen :) Cover : Pinterest The Legend An Old Legend told; when God created the World, he send a Dragon and a Phoenix down to protect the Human and the World. But the Phoenix, which was the light fall in love with the Dragon, who was the Darkness. Against God's wish they become lovers. But it wasn't pleased by everyone. A priestess also fall in Love with the Phoenix and couldn’t accept their love. So she set a Trap. The Dragon which fall into it, felt anger and betrayal towards the Phoenix. In her Anger she turned the World into Darkness and let the people suffer. When the people noticed it, they started to pray for help. At the same time the Phoenix found about the Trap and tried to stop her but it was useless. She, who was left in Pain, lost her mind and wanted to Destroy the World which she had to Protect. The Phoenix which felt her pain started to realize, that he was the one only who could stop her and saw the people suffering from her Anger. He grabbed after his Arc, which was given to him by God, and shoot the arrow through her Heart. In the very Moment she lost her power and her life. He who killed his beloved, doesn't wanted to live and the priestess which saw this, laughed and told. “If not in this Life, then in the next Life you will be mine!” and killed herself. From that Moment, the Peace and the Harmony disappeared from the World and War started. Those who believed that the Phoenix was still alive and can bring back the Peace, went out to look for him but never returned. From that time on everyone believed that the whole Mankind was abounded by God. But there was hope, it has been told that on the day under the fifth Star on a Full moon night which shines brighter then everyone, will be a Child born, who will bring Peace and Harmony to this World again. Chapter 1 Chapter 1 It was the day of Full moon, when the King called his adviser, to his room. The King which body started to get weaker each day, saw that he hasn't anytime left, thought that this was the Punishment of the sin which he have been done to his wife on the day of Full moon like today. He gave his first born child, the twin, of the Prince away and order to kill him, since there can't be two boys. But now, he have to die, each day little bit. The adviser, came as he called by the King, he offered him his Respect and said that the young Prince was come to see him also. The King looked up to his Son who reassembled him. Since he was young the King had trained to to become a powerful King who was able to protect the Kingdom. “Dear Son, what brings you hear?”, he asked. “Dear Father, I have come too see, how your doing!” “So, it has been leaked out? However, it's good that you have been here. There is something I wanted to tell you!” “Yes, father!” “When a Kingdom has, to many Prince there is one rule. The eldest is allowed to become a King while the other have to become a monk or a Warrior.” “I was one of them, a Warrior. The late King know about the poor health of my brother but he ignored it and choose him as a King. But he died soon and when I came back from the battlefield, I was throned to be the next King. I didn't know anything since I wasn't trained like my brother. So I decided, to have just one Son. But unfortunately your late mother gave birth to two children.” “Father are you telling me, that I have a brother?” “Yes, you have a brother. Twin brother!” “But, I didn't met him or saw him. How can that be possible?” “After you mother give birth to you and your Brother. I decided to kill one. He was the eldest of you two, since I know that pain to be the second. I took his life to become you as the next King.” “You killed him?” “I thought so but I found him. He is still alive. I lost your mother which suffered on illness, now it came to me to take away. This is the Punishment for that what I have done.” “What are you saying father!” “I want you to become the right Hand of your brother.” “Are you saying you going to let my brother become the King?” “Yes and I hope you will follow my words. No it's an order!” “No, father you can't tell me to do this. I spend my whole life to become a Perfect King, I always saw up to you. You the warrior King, you who defeated the Shui (Water) and Kongiqi (Air) Nation and now your telling me to give up to become a King just becomes you feel guilty towards my brother. I'm sorry father i can't accept this order!“ „Jun“ „I'm sorry Dear father, your Time has ran out. I didn't meant to do this, but its seems that this country needs a new King!” “Jun....ah... what have you done?” It was too late, Jun had stabbed his father., from behind. He knew that his father changed, the warrior Lord, who he praised once was dead and turned into an old Man who wished for Peace. The King tried to call the guard for help, but the guard was send away by the Prince. “This is my Punishment, for killing my son to be killed by my other son!” , the King laughed and his Soul left the body. The Prince wiped the Knife which was drained in Blood on a white cloth and looked down to his father dead body. “Don't worry father I will fulfill you wish. I will rule the World” he smirk and shouted. “THE KING HAS BEEN MUDERD BY THE BLACKSMITH's SON!” “Lien, Lien hurry wake up!”, a voice called him. “Is it already morning father?” “No, you must leave this Country soon as possible.” “What happened father?” “No time for question, just do what I'm telling you. I have packed the thing what you need in this bag. Go the West to the commercial city, look there after a Person who called Aang, quick!” Lien, couldn't understand the act of his Father. Why wanted his father that he have to run away, what did happened. Before he could ask those question he was pushed out of the back door of their small House. The house was build outskirts of the City, like all house of the commoner, it was near to the forest. The Blacksmith know if Lien would pass the forest without getting to be caught he could get of this place without be seen by anyone. Lien, who was confused, followed his father Words without replay. He run down the forest like him told, but his heart wanted that he should go back and see. Even though his Father promised he would follow him as soon as he can, he suspect him. He sneaked back to the City by hiding and saw that some Guards were standing in front of their house. He noticed that the were wearing the signs of the King's Place. -Why were the Kings Guard standing in front their house?- he asked and tried to look closer. Suddenly he saw his father coming out, he arms has been tied up. -What was going on?- If he would go closer he would be caught for sure. He decided to wait until morning and find out what was going on, he knew that by morning everyone would know what happened in Place. The Store keeper started to open their shops, Lien decided to go to an inn which was not far away. For his safety he covered his face and wear those clothes which was given by this father. Like he thought, everyone was talking about the Place. Lien pretend as a trader and sat next two an Man, who was already getting drunk in the morning. “Hey, you know what happened at the Place last night?”, he asked him. “The Place, you don't look like your from here!”, the man answered. “I have been staying since yesterday here and I heard something about the Place and I was just little bit curios about that matter. If you not going to tell me, then leave it!” “Wait, wait my dear Friend. If your going to pouring some wine for me, I will tell you the whole story. You have to know, that I'm on of the Place guards.” “How can I believe you. You look more like an commoner who wan just get drunk!” “My My, look here!”, he said and pointed at the sign on his cloth. It was the sign of the King's Place. “Then my friend tell me what happened!”, Lien answered and ordered another bottle of wine. “Last night, the King was found murdered in his room. The Young Prince who went to visit said, that he saw that he saw someone running away and it was the Blacksmith.” “NO HOW?” “Psst, he was caught but his Son, has disappeared. Everyone is looking for him. He can't be far.” “The Blacksmith, if he is pure and the Prince mistake him for someone else, is their a way to prove his innocence?” “Even if the Blacksmith is the Victim and not the murder, there is no way to help him. The royal family just need a reason to have throne the next King. But if you want rescue him, then you have to bring the King back to life only he knew who was his murder.” he laughed and stand up from the table and left the Inn. Lien sat for awhile and looked at the half left wine bottle wine for awhile and poured him self then. It was bitter. - I will prove the innocence of my father.- he thought, but for now he wasn't able to do anything. Even his heart ached and he wanted to go back, he knew that had to wait. As he promised he left the country, he lied to be an trader and sneaked out, without being caught. His father had put him something to eat and various of paper, that he had hand over to the man who was called Aang and a book. It was small, there was no title. He put it back into his back and followed the way. He passed those little villages which were located out of the Wall of the Capital. In every place guards were placed , he knew that they were looking for him. Every time when he saw them, it reminded him of his father, who were sitting in prison, innocent and all he was doing was just to run away. But what he could do, even if he could go back? In one the villages he met some merchant who were on their way to Shijie, he asked if they could take him with them in exchange for money . They merchant accept his offer and told him that the journey would take around 3 days by horse, it was the shortest way to Shijie. They also would stop in a city called Jijie on their and he should help to up load some of his goods. Lien accept sat next to him on the carriage. The Merchant asked where he was from and why he wanted to go to Shijie. Lien told him, that he came to Fei with his father but his father got in accident where he broke his leg. Since he wanted to visit his Uncle in Shijie, his father would have gave him some money for the travel. The Merchant praised him to go on such a long journey, even he was too young for it. He said that his father mus be a wise man since he thought him very well about the world and he a good son, since he didn't spend the money for useless things, like every boy in his age. The Merchant also told him, that he was originally from Shijie, but he is used to travailing all over world, since he had to sell his goods. Four month he would spend with his family every year he misses them often but if he would stay with them for long, he wouldn’t make enough money to live. When Lien asked him about Shijie, the Merchant got happy, he said that no ones really was interested about Shijie since it was just a Commerce City. But they were wrong, everyday you can meet different people who came from different country’s by ship. Only less people know Shijie is also a pot. He had met people who were black and white. They talked in different language, that he couldn't understand. Shijie was ruled by Lord Gin. He was a good man and he uses to come often to visit the people. He has a daughter, people who saw her once tells that her skin would be as white as the moon and her smile as bright as the sun. When they arrived Jijie, they decided to stay a day longer since they have been told, about big firework Festival by the publican and they shouldn't miss it. Since it is would be hold only one time in every year. Lien noticed again some warriors, but they looked different, when he asked the Merchant, the publican interrupt and explained, that they are Diqiui wangguo warrior, lately lot of them passed here by, but no one knows why. For a while Lien looked at them, there clothes were different that from his Country, was grey and looked like a stone. They don't talk very much and don't even come to the Festival, only two come after long time to enjoy it. The Merchant told Lien that they had to leave in early morning next day. This night he couldn't Lien couldn’t sleep very well, in his Dream he saw a women, with black hair who was standing on a open threshold. She smiled but he could feel some sadness in her smile and stretched her hand towards him, before he could feel her hand, he was woken up by the Merchant. He said that it would only take about one and a half day now. The time they passed by telling some stories, since Lien really didn't traveled much, he told him the story of the warriors and the Merchant told him about the Shui ren and how they got that name. Those people would live in the Mountain, so he had to walk and he hated it. When the arrived Shijie, the Merchant suddenly said, that something was wrong here. Normally there would lot of people here, but now it looked more empty. When he let him out, he said Lien he has to drop by house by which was next a small store and Lien promised him. It took him awhile till he could find the house which belonged Aang. It seemed everyone knew him. Before he knock on the door, he hold his breath in for a moment. Before he raised his Hand the door opened mumbled out. When he noticed Lien he asked: “Who are you? You don't seem like a suppleir. “I ...I'm the Son of Feng the Blacksmith, Lien. I was told to meet you!” Text: no copyright All rights reserved. Publication Date: February 13th 2017 https://www.bookrix.com/-sweetchoco

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-william-shakespeare-cromwell/

William Shakespeare Cromwell THE ACTORS NAMES. OLD CROMWELL, a Black-smith at Putney. Young THOMAS CROMWELL his son. HODGE, WILL, and TOM, old Cromwell's servants. Earl of BEDFORD and his Host. Dukes of NORFOLK and SUFFOLK. Sir CHRISTOPHER HALES. Cardinal WOLSEY. Sir THOMAS MOOR. GARDINER Bishop of Winchester. Sir RALPH SADLER. M. BOUSER a Merchant. BANISTER, a broken Merchant and his wife. BAGOT, a cruel covetous Broker. FRISKIBALL a Florentine Merchant. The Governours of the ENGLISH house at ANTWERP. States and Officers of BONONIA. Good-man SEELY and his wife JOAN. CHORUS. A POST. MESSENGERS. USHERS and SERVANTS. LIEUTENANT OF THE TOWER. TWO CITIZENS. TWO MERCHANTS. ACT I. SCENE I. Putney. The entrance of a smith's shop. [Enter three Smiths, Hodge and two other, old Cromwell's men.] HODGE. Come, masters, I think it be past five a clock; is it not time we were at work: my old Master he'll be stirring anon. FIRST SMITH. I cannot tell whether my old master will be stirring or no: but I am sure I can hardly take my afternoon's nap, for my young Master Thomas, he keeps such a quile in his study, with the Sun, and the Moon, and the seven stars, that I do verily think he'll read out his wife. HODGE. He skill of the stars! there's good-man Car of Fulhum, he that carried us to the strong Ale, where goody Trundell had her maid got with child: O he knows the stars. He'll tickle you Charles Waine in nine degrees. That same man will tell you goody Trundell when her Ale shall miscarry, only by the stars. SECOND SMITH. Aye, that's a great virtue; indeed I think Thomas be no body in comparison to him. FIRST SMITH. Well, masters, come, shall we to our hammers? HODGE. Aye, content; first let's take our morning's draught, and then to work roundly. SECOND SMITH. Aye, agreed; go in, Hodge. [Exit omnes.] ACT I. SCENE II. The same. [Enter young Cromwell.] CROMWELL. Good morrow, morn, I do salute thy brightness. The night seems tedious to my troubled soul, Whose black obscurity binds in my mind A thousand sundry cogitations: And now Aurora, with a lively dye, Adds comfort to my spirit that mounts on high-- Too high indeed, my state being so mean. My study, like a mineral of gold, Makes my heart proud, wherein my hopes enrolled; My books is all the wealth I do possess. [Here within they must beat with their hammers.] And unto them I have engaged my heart. O learning, how divine thou seems to me: Within whose arms is all felicity. Peace with your hammers! leave your knocking there: You do disturb my study and my rest. Leave off, I say, you mad me with the noise. [Enter Hodge and the two Men.] HODGE. Why, how now, Master Thomas, how now? Will you not let us work for you? CROMWELL. You fret my heart, with making of this noise. HODGE. How, fret your heart? Aye, but Thomas, you'll fret your father's purse if you let us from working. SECOND SMITH. Aye, this tis for him to make him a gentleman. Shall we leave work for your musing? that's well, I faith; But here comes my old master now. [Enter Old Cromwell.] OLD CROMWELL. You idle knaves, what, are you loitering now? No hammers walking and my work to do! What, not a heat among your work to day? HODGE. Marry, sir, your son Thomas will not let us work at all. OLD CROMWELL. Why, knave, I say, have I thus carked & car'd And all to keep thee like a gentleman; And dost thou let my servants at their work, That sweat for thee, knave, labour thus for thee? CROMWELL. Father, their hammers do offend my study. OLD CROMWELL. Out of my doors, knave, if thou likest it not. I cry you mercy! is your ears so fine? I tell thee, knave, these get when I do sleep; I will not have my Anvil stand for thee. CROMWELL. There's money, father, I will pay your men. [He throws money among them.] OLD CROMWELL. Have I thus brought thee up unto my cost, In hope that one day thou wouldst relieve my age, And art thou now so lavish of thy coin, To scatter it among these idle knaves. CROMWELL. Father, be patient, and content your self. The time will come I shall hold gold as trash: And here I speak with a presaging soul, To build a palace where now this cottage stands, As fine as is King Henry's house at Sheene. OLD CROMWELL. You build a house! you knave, you'll be a beggar. Now, afore God, all is but cast away, That is bestowed upon this thriftless lad. Well, had I bound him to some honest trade, This had not been, but it was his mother's doing, To send him to the University. How? build a house where now this cottage stands, As fair as that at Sheene!--[Aside.] He shall not hear me. A good boy Tom! I con thee thank Tom! Well said Tom! gramarcies Tom!-- Into your work, knaves; hence, you saucy boy. [Exit all but young Cromwell.] CROMWELL. Why should my birth keep down my mounting spirit? Are not all creatures subject unto time: To time, who doth abuse the world, And fills it full of hodge-podge bastardy? There's legions now of beggars on the earth, That their original did spring from Kings: And many Monarchs now whose fathers were The riffe-raffe of their age: for Time and Fortune Wears out a noble train to beggary, And from the hunghill minions do advance To state and mark in this admiring world. This is but course, which in the name of Fate Is seen as often as it whirls about: The River Thames, that by our door doth pass, His first beginning is but small and shallow: Yet keeping on his course, grows to a sea. And likewise Wolsey, the wonder of our age, His birth as mean as mine, a Butcher's son, Now who within this land a greater man? Then, Cromwell, cheer thee up, and tell thy soul, That thou maist live to flourish and control. [Enter Old Cromwell.] OLD CROMWELL. Tom Cromwell! what, Tom, I say! CROMWELL. Do you call, sir. OLD CROMWELL. Here is master Bowser come to know if you have dispatched his petition for the Lords of the counsel or no. CROMWELL. Father, I have; please you to call him in. OLD CROMWELL. That's well said, Tom; a good lad, Tom. [Enter Master Bowser.] BOWSER. Now, Master Cromwell, have you dispatched this petition? CROMWELL. I have, sir; here it is: please you peruse it. BOWSER. It shall not need; we'll read it as we go by water: And, Master Cromwell, I have made a motion May do you good, and if you like of it. Our Secretary at Antwerp, sir, is dead, And the Merchants there hath sent to me, For to provide a man fit for the place: Now I do know none fitter than your self, If with your liking it stand, master Cromwell. CROMWELL. With all my heart, sir, and I much am bound, In love and duty for your kindness shown. OLD CROMWELL. Body of me, Tom, make haste, least some body get between thee and home, Tom. I thank you, good master Bowser, I thank you for my boy; I thank you always, I thank you most heartily, sir. Ho, a cup of Beer there for master Bowser. BOWSER. It shall not need, sir. Master Cromwell, will you go? CROMWELL. I will attend you, sir. OLD CROMWELL. Farewell, Tom; God bless thee, Tom; God speed thee, good Tom. [Exit omnes.] ACT I. SCENE III. London. A street before Frescobald's house. [Enter Bagot, a Broker, solus.] BAGOT. I hope this day is fatal unto some, And by their loss must Bagot seek to gain. This is the lodging of master Friskiball, A liberal Merchant, and a Florentine, To whom Banister owes a thousand pound, A Merchant Banckrout, whose Father was my master. What do I care for pity or regard? He once was wealthy, but he now is fallen, And this morning have I got him arrested, At the suit of master Friskiball, And by this means shall I be sure of coin, For doing this same good to him unknown: And in good time, see where the merchant comes. [Enter Friskiball.] BAGOT. Good morrow to kind master Friskiball. FRISKIBALL. Good morrow to your self, good master Bagot, And what's the news, you are so early stirring: It is for gain, I make no doubt of that. BAGOT. It is for the love, sir, that I bear to you. When did you see your debtor Banister? FRISKIBALL. I promise you, I have not seen the man This two months day; his poverty is such, As I do think he shames to see his friends. BAGOT. Why, then, assure your self to see him straight, For at your suit I have arrested him, And here they will be with him presently. FRISKIBALL. Arrest him at my suit? you were to blame. I know the man's misfortune to be such, As he's not able for to pay the debt, And were it known to some he were undone. BAGOT. This is your pitiful heart to think it so, But you are much deceived in Banister. Why such as he will break for fashion sake, And unto those they owe a thousand pound, Pay scarce a hundred. O, sir, beware of him. The man is lewdly given to Dice and Drabs, Spends all he hath in harlots' companies; It is no mercy for to pity him. I speak the truth of him, for nothing else, But for the kindness that I bear to you. FRISKIBALL. If it be so, he hath deceived me much, And to deal strictly with such a one as he-- Better severe than too much lenity. But here is Master Banister himself, And with him, as I take, the officers. [Enter Banister, his wife, and two officers.] BANISTER. O master Friskiball, you have undone me. My state was well nigh overthrown before, Now altogether down-cast by your means. MISTRESS BANISTER. O master Friskiball, pity my husband's case. he is a man hath lived as well as any, Till envious fortune and the ravenous sea Did rob, disrobe, and spoil us of our own. FRISKIBALL. Mistress Banister, I envy not your husband, Nor willingly would I have used him thus, But that I hear he is so lewdly given, Haunts wicked company, and hath enough To pay his debts, yet will not be known thereof. BANISTER. This is that damned Broker, that same Bagot, Whom I have often from my Frencher fed. Ingrateful Villain for to use me thus! BAGOT. What I have said to him is naught but truth. MISTRESS BANISTER. What thou hast said springs from an envious heart. A Cannibal that doth eat men alive! But here upon my knee, believe me, sir, And what I speak, so help me God, is true: We scarce have meat to feed our little babes. Most of our Plate is in that Broker's hand, Which, had we money to defray our debt, O think,. we would not bide that penury. Be merciful, kind master Friskiball. My husband, children, and my self will eat But one meal a day, the other will We keep and sell As part to pay the debt we owe to you: If ever tears did pierce a tender mind, Be pitiful, let me some favour find. BAGOT. Be not you so mad, sir, to believe her tears. FRISKIBALL. Go to, I see thou art an envious man. Good mistress Banister, kneel not to me; I pray rise up, you shall have your desire. Hold; officers, be gone, there's for your pains.-- You know you owe to me a thousand pound: Here, take my hand; if ear God make you able, And place you in your former state again, Pay me: but if still your fortune frown, Upon my faith I'll never ask you crown: I never yet did wrong to men in thrall, For God doth know what to my self may fall. BANISTER. This unexpected favour, undeserved, Doth make my heart bleed inwardly with joy. Ne'er may ought prosper with me is my own, If I forget this kindness you have shown. MISTRESS BANISTER. My children in their prayers, both night and day, For your good fortune and success shall pray. FRISKIBALL. I thank you both; I pray, do dine with me. Within these three days, if God give me leave, I will to Florence, to my native home. Bagot, hold; there's a Portague to drink, Although you ill deserved it by your merit. Give not such cruel scope unto your heart; Be sure the ill you do will be requited. Remember what I say, Bagot; farewell. Come, Master Banister; you shall with me. My fare is but simple, but welcome heartily. [Exit all but Bagot.] BAGOT. A plague go with you; would you had eat your last! Is this the thanks I have for all my pains? Confusion light upon you all for me. Where he had wont to give a score of crowns, Doth he now foist me with a Portague? Well, I will be revenged upon this Banister. I'll to his creditors, buy all the debts he owes, As seeming that I do it for good will. I am sure to have them at an easy rate, And when tis done, in christendom he stays not, But I'll make his heart to ache with sorrow: And if that Banister become my debtor, By heaven and earth I'll make his plague the greater. [Exit Bagot.] ACT II. [Enter Chorus.] CHORUS. Now, gentlemen, imagine that young Cromwell is In Antwerp ledger for the English Merchants: And Banister, to shun this Bagot's hate, Hearing that he hath got some of his debts, Is fled to Antwerp, with his wife and children; Which Bagot hearing is gone after them: And thither sends his bills of debt before, To be revenged on wretched Banister. What doth fall out, with patience sit and see, A just requital of false treachery. [Exit.] ACT II. SCENE I. Antwerp. [Cromwell in his study with bags of money before him casting of account.] CROMWELL. Thus far my reckoning doth go straight & even, But, Cromwell, this same ployding fits not thee: Thy mind is altogether set on travel, And not to live thus cloistered like a Nun. It is not this same trash that i regard, Experience is the jewel of my heart. [Enter a Post.] POST. I pray, sir, are you ready to dispatch me? CROMWELL. Yes; here's those sums of money you must carry; You go so far as Frankford, do you not? POST. I do, sir. CROMWELL. Well, prithee make all the hate thou canst, For there be certain English gentlemen Are bound for Venice, and my happily want, And if that you should linger by the way: But in hope that you'll make good speed, There's two Angels to buy you spurs and wands. POST. I thank you, sir; this will add wings indeed. [Exit Post.] CROMWELL. Gold is of power would make an Eagle speed. [Enter Mistress Banister.] What gentlewoman is this that grieves so much? It seems she doth address her self to me. MISTRESS BANISTER. God save you, sir, sir; pray, is your name master Cromwell? CROMWELL. My name is Thomas Cromwell, gentlewoman. MISTRESS BANISTER. Know you not one Bagot, sir, that's come to Antwerp? CROMWELL. No, trust me, I never saw the man, But here are bills of debt I have received, Against one Banister, a Merchant fallen into decay. MISTRESS BANISTER. Into decay, indeed, long of that wretch. I am the wife to woeful Banister: And by that bloody villain am pursued From London here to Antwerp. My husband he is in the governour's hands, And God no doubt will treble bless your gain. CROMWELL. Good mistress Banister, what I can, I will, In any thing that lies within my power. MISTRESS BANISTER. O speak to Bagot, that same wicked wretch, An Angel's voice may move a damned devil. CROMWELL. Why, is he come to Antwerp, as you here? MISTRESS BANISTER. I heard he landed some two hours since. CROMWELL. Well, mistress Banister, assure your self. I'll speak to Bagot in your own behalf, And win him to all the pity that I can. Mean time, to comfort you in your distress, Receive these Angels to relieve your need, And be assured that what I can effect To do you good, no way I will neglect. MISTRESS BANISTER. That mighty God, that knows each mortal's heart, Keep you from trouble, sorrow, grief, and smart. [Exit Mistress Banister.] CROMWELL. Thanks, courteous woman, for thy hearty prayer. It grieves my soul to see her misery, But we that live under the work of fate, May hope the best, yet knows not to what state Our stars and destinies hath us assigned. Fickle is fortune and her face is blind. [Exit.] ACT II. SCENE II. A street in Antwerp. [Enter Bagot solus.] BAGOT. So all goes well; it is as I would have it. Banister he is with the Governour And shortly shall have guives upon his heels. It glads my heart to think upon the slave; I hope to have his body rot in prison, And after here his wife to hang her self, And all his children die for want of food. The Jewels that I have brought to Antwerp Are recond to be worth five thousand pound, Which scarcely stood me in three hundreth pound. I bought them at an easy kind of rate; I care not which way they came by them That sold them me, it comes not near my heart: And least thy should be stolen--as sure they are-- I thought it meet to sell them here in Antwerp, And so have left them in the Governour's hand, Who offers me within two hundreth pound Of all my price. But now no more of that: I must go see and if my bills be safe, The which I sent to master Cromwell, That if the wind should keep me on the sea, He might arrest him here before I came: [Enter Cromwell.] And in good time, see where he is. God save you sir. CROMWELL. And you: pray pardon me, I know you not. BAGOT. It may be so, sir, but my name is Bagot, The man that sent to you the bills of debt. CROMWELL. O, the man that pursues Banister. Here are the bills of debt you sent to me: As for the man, you know best where he is. It is reported you have a flinty heart, A mind that will not stoop to any pity, An eye that knows not how to shed a tear, A hand that's always open for reward; But, master Bagot, would you be ruled by me, You should turn all these to the contrary. Your heart should still have feeling of remorse, Your mind according to your state be liberal To those that stand in need and in distress; Your hand to help them that do stand in want, Rather than with your poise to hold them down; For every ill turn show your self more kind; Thus should I do; pardon, I speak my mind. BAGOT. Aye, sir, you speak to hear what I would say, But you must live, I know, as well as I: I know this place to be extortion, And tis not for a man to keep him, But he must lie, cog with his dearest friend, And as for pity, scorn it, hate all conscience. But yet I do commend your wit in this, To make a show of what I hope you are not; But I commend you and tis well done: This is the only way to bring your gain. CROMWELL. My gain! I had rather chain me to an oar, And like a slave there toil out all my life, Before I'd live so base a slave as thou: I, like an hypocrite, to make a show Of seeming virtue and a devil within! No, Bagot, would thy conscience were as clear: Poor Banister ne'er had been troubled here. BAGOT. Nay, good master Cromwell; be not angry, sir. I know full well you are no such man; But if your conscience were as white as Snow, It will be thought that you are other wise. CROMWELL. Will it be thought that I am other wise? Let them that think so know they are deceived. Shall Cromwell live to have his faith misconstered? Antwerp, for all the wealth within thy Town, I will not stay here not two hours longer. As good luck serves, my accounts are all made even; Therefore I'll straight unto the treasurer. Bagot, I know you'll to the governour; Commend me to him, say I am bound to travail, To see the fruitful parts of Italy, And as you ever bore a Christian mind, Let Banister some favour of you find. BAGOT. For your sake, sir, I'll help him all I can-- [Aside.] To starve his heart out ere he get a groat. So, master Cromwell, do I take my leave, For I must straight unto the governour. [Exit Bagot.] CROMWELL. Farewell, sir; pray you remember what I said.-- No, Cromwell, no; thy heart was ne'er so base, To live by falsehood or by brokery! But 't falles out well, I little it repent; Hereafter, time in travel shall be spent. [Enter Hodge, his father's man.] HODGE. Your son Thomas, quoth you: I have been Thomast! I had thought it had been no such matter to a gone by water: for at Putney I'll go you to Parish-garden for two pence, sit as still as may be, without any wagging or jolting in my guts, in a little boat too: here we were scarce four mile in the great green water, but I--thinking to go to my afternoon's urgings, as twas my manner at home--but I felt a kind of rising in my guts. At last one a the Sailors spying of me, be a good cheer, says he, set down thy victuals, and up with it, thou hast nothing but an Eel in thy belly. Well toot went I, to my victuals went the Sailors, and thinking me to be a man of better experience than any in the ship, asked me what Wood the ship was made of: they all swore I told them as right as if I had been acquainted with the Carpenter that made it. At last we grew near land, and I grew villainous hungry, went to my bag: the devil a bit there was. The Sailors had tickled me; yet I cannot blame them: it was a part of kindness, for I in kindness told them what Wood the ship was made of, and they in kindness eat up my victuals, as indeed one good turn asketh another. Well, would I could find my master Thomas in this Dutch Town; he might put some English Beer into my belly. CROMWELL. What, Hodge, my father's man? by my hand, welcome! How doth my father? what's the news at home? HODGE. Master Thomas, O God, master Thomas, your hand, glove and all. This is to give you to understanding that your father is in health, and Alice Downing here hath sent you a Nutmeg, & Bess Makewater a race of Ginger; my fellow Will & Tom hath between them sent you a dozen of points, & good man Tolle of the Goat a pair of mittens; my self came in person: and this is all the news. CROMWELL. Gramarcy, good Hodge, and thou art welcome to me, But in as ill a time thou comest as may be: For I am travelling into Italy. What sayest thou, Hodge? wilt thou bear me company? HODGE. Will I bear thee company, Tom? What tell'st me of Italy? were it to the furthest part of Flanders, I would go with thee, Tom. I am thine in all weal and woe, thy own to command. What, Tom! I have passed the rigorous waves of Neptune's blasts; I tell you, Thomas, I have been in the danger of the floods; and when I have seen Boreas begin to play the Ruffin with us, then would I down of my knees and call upon Vulcan. CROMWELL. And why upon him? HODGE. Because, as this same fellow Neptune is God of the Seas, so Vulcan is Lord over the Smiths, and therefore, I, being a Smith, thought his Godhead would have some care yet of me. CROMWELL. A good conceit, but tell me, hast thou dined yet? HODGE. Thomas, to speak the truth, not a bit yet I. CROMWELL. Come, go with me; thou shalt have cheer good store. And farewell, Antwerp, if I come no more. HODGE. I follow thee, sweet Tom, I follow thee. [Exit omnes.] ACT II. SCENE III. Another street in the same. [Enter the Governour of the English house, Bagot, Banister, his wife, and two officers.] GOVERNOUR. Is Cromwell gone then, say you, master Bagot? What dislike, I pray? what was the cause? BAGOT. To tell you true, a wild brain of his own; Such youth as they cannot see when they are well: He is all bent to travail, that's his reason, And doth not love to eat his bread at home. GOVERNOUR. Well, good fortune with him, if the man be gone. We hardly shall find such a one as he, To fit our turns; his dealings were so honest. But now, sir, for your Jewels that I have, What do you say? will you take my prise? BAGOT. O, sir, you offer too much underfoot. GOVERNOUR. Tis but two hundred pound between us, man. What's that in payment of five thousand pound? BAGOT. Two hundred pound! birlady, sir, tis great: Before I got so much, it made me sweat. GOVERNOUR. Well, Master Bagot, I'll profer you fairly. You see this Merchant, master Banister, Is going now to prison at your suit. His substance all is gone; what would you have? Yet in regard I knew the man of wealth-- Never dishonest dealing, but such mishaps Hath fallen on him, may light on me or you-- There is two hundred pound between us; We will divide the same: I'll give you one, On that condition you will set him free: His state is nothing, that you see your self, And where naught is, the King must lose his right. BAGOT. Sir, sir, you speak out of your love, Tis foolish love, sir, sure, to pity him: Therefore, content your self; this is my mind: To do him good I will not bate a penny. BANISTER. This is my comfort: though thou doost no good, A mighty ebb follows a mighty flood. MISTRESS BANISTER. O thou base wretch, whom we have fostered Even as a Serpent for to poison us, If God did ever right a woman's wrong, To that same God I bend and bow my heart, To let his heavy wrath fall on thy head, By whom my hopes and joys are butchered. BAGOT. Alas, fond woman, I pray thee, pray thy worst; The Fox fares better still when he is curst. [Enter Master Bowser, a Merchant.] GOVERNOUR. Master Bowser! you're welcome, sir, from England. What's the best news? how doth all our friends? BOWSER. They are all well and do commend them to you: There's letters from your brother and your son: So fair you well, sir; I must take my leave. My haste and business doth require such. GOVERNOUR. Before you dine, sir? What, go you out of town? BOWSER. Aye, faith, unless I hear some news in town, I must away; there is no remedy. GOVERNOUR. Master Bowser, what is your business? may I know it? BOWSER. You may, sir, and so shall all the City. The King of late hath had his treasury robbed, And of the choicest jewels that he had: The value of them was some seven thousand pound. The fellow that did steal these jewels, he is hanged, And did confess that for three hundred pound He sold them to one Bagot dwelling in London: Now Bagot's fled, and, as we hear, to Antwerp, And hither am I come to seek him out; And they that first can tell me of his news Shall have a hundred pound for their reward. BANISTER. How just is God to right the innocent. GOVERNOUR. Master Bowser, you come in happy time: Here is the villain Bagot that you seek, And all those jewels have I in my hands. Officers, look to him, hold him fast. BAGOT. The devil ought me a shame, and now hath paid it. BOWSER. Is this that Bagot? fellows, bear him hence. We will not now stand for his reply. Lade him with Irons; we will have him tried In England, where his villainies are known. BAGOT. Mischief, confusion, light upon you all! O hang me, drown me, let me kill my self! Let go my arms; let me run quick to hell. BOWSER. Away, bear him away; stop the slave's mouth. [They carry him away.] MISTRESS BANISTER. Thy works are infinite, great God of heaven. GOVERNOUR. I heard this Bagot was a wealthy fellow. BOWSER. He was indeed, for when his goods were seized, Of Jewels, coin, and Plate within his house, Was found the value of five thousand pound; His furniture fully worth half so much, Which being all strained for, for the King, He frankly gave it to the Antwerp merchants, And they again, out of their bounteous mind, Hath to a brother of their company, A man decayed by fortune of the Seas, Given Bagot's wealth, to set him up again, And keep it for him: his name is Banister. GOVERNOUR. Master Bowser, with this happy news You have revived two from the gates of death: This is that Banister, and this his wife. BOWSER. Sir, I am glad my fortune is so good, To bring such tidings as may comfort you. BANISTER. You have given life unto a man deemed dead, For by these news, my life is newly bred. MISTRESS BANISTER. Thanks to my God, next to my Sovereign King, And last to you that these good hopes doth bring. GOVERNOUR. The hundred pound I must receive as due For finding Bagot, I freely give to you. BOWSER. And, Master Banister, if so you please, I'll bear you company, when you cross the Seas. BANISTER. If it please you, sir; my company is but mean. Stands with your liking, I'll wait on you. GOVERNOUR. I am glad that all things do accord so well: Come, Master Bowser, let us in to dinner: And, Mistress Banister, be merry, woman! Come, after sorrow now let's cheer your spirit; Knaves have their due, and you but what you merit. [Exit omnes.] ACT III. SCENE I. The principal bridge at Florence. [Enter Cromwell and Hodge in their shirts, and without Hats.] HODGE. Call ye this seeing of fashions? Marry, would I had stayed at Putney still. O, Master Thomas, we are spoiled, we are gone. CROMWELL. Content thee, man, this is but fortune. HODGE. Fortune; a plague of this Fortune makes me go wetshod; the rogues would not leave me a shoe to my feet. For my hose, they scorned them with their heels; but for my Doublet and Hat, O Lord, they embraced me, and unlaced me, and took away my clothes, and so disgraced me. CROMWELL. Well, Hodge, what remedy? What shift shall we make now? HODGE. Nay, I know not. For begging I am naught, for stealing worse: by my troth, I must even fall to my old trade, to the Hammer and the Horse heels again: but now the worst is, I am not acquainted with the humor of the horses in this country, whether they are not coltish, given much to kicking, or no; for when I have one leg in my hand, if he should up and lay tother on my chops, I were gone: there lay I, there lay Hodge. CROMWELL. Hodge, I believe thou must work for us both. HODGE. O, Master Thomas, have not I told you of this? have not I many a time and often said, Tom, or Master Thomas, learn to make a Horse-shoe, it will be your own another day: this was not regarded. Hark you, Thomas, what do you call the fellows that robbed us? CROMWELL. The Bandetti. HODGE. The Bandetti, do you call them? I know not what they are called here, but I am sure we call them plain thieves in England. O Thomas, that we were now at Putney, at the ale there. CROMWELL. Content thee, man; here set up these two bills, And let us keep our standing on the bridge: The fashion of this country is such, If any stranger be oppressed with want, To write the manner of his misery, And such as are disposed to succour him, Will do it. What, hast thou set them up? HODGE. Aye, they're up; God send some to read them, and not only to read them, but also to look on us; and not altogether to look on us, [One stands at one end, and one at tother.] But to relieve us. O cold, cold, cold. [Enter Friskiball, the Merchant, and reads the bills.] FRISKIBALL. What's here? two Englishmen robbed by the Bandetti! One of them seems to be a gentleman. Tis pity that his fortune was so hard, To fall into the desperate hands of thieves. I'll question him of what estate he is. God save you, sir; are you an Englishman? CROMWELL. I am, sir, a distress Englishman. FRISKIBALL. And what are you, my friend? HODGE. Who? I, sir? by my troth, I do not know my self what I am now, but, sir, I was a smith, sir, a poor Farrier of Putney. That's my master, sir, yonder. I was robbed for his sake, sir. FRISKIBALL. I see you have been met by the Bandetti, And therefore need not ask how you came thus. But, Friskiball, why doost thou question them Of their estate and not relieve their need? Sir, the coin I have about me is not much: There's sixteen Ducats for to clothe your selves, There's sixteen more to buy your diet with, And there's sixteen to pay for your horse hire: Tis all the wealth, you see, my purse possesses, But if you please for to enquire me out, You shall not want for ought that I can do. My name is Friskiball, a Florence Merchant, A man that always loved your nation. CROMWELL. This unexpected favour at your hands, Which God doth know if ever I shall requite it-- Necessity makes me to take your bounty, And for your gold can yield you naught but thanks. Your charity hath helped me from despair; Your name shall still be in my hearty prayer. FRISKIBALL. It is not worth such thanks. Come to my house; Your want shall better be relieved then thus. CROMWELL. I pray, excuse me; this shall well suffice To bear my charges to Bononia, Whereas a noble Earl is much distressed: An Englishman, Russell, the Earl of Bedford, Is by the French King sold unto his death: It may fall out, that I may do him good; To save his life, I'll hazard my heart blood. Therefore, kind sir, thanks for your liberal gift; I must be gone to aide him; there's no shift. FRISKIBALL. I'll be no hinderer to so good an act. Heaven prosper you in that you go about! If Fortune bring you this way back again, Pray let me see you: so I take my leave; All good a man can wish, I do bequeath. [Exit Friskiball.] CROMWELL. All good that God doth send light on your head; There's few such men within our climate bred. How say you now, Hodge? is not this good fortune? HODGE. How say you? I'll tell you what, master Thomas; if all men be of this Gentleman's mind, let's keep our standings upon this Bridge: we shall get more here with begging in one day, than I shall with making Horseshoes in a whole year. CROMWELL. No Hodge, we must begone unto Bononia, There to relieve the noble Earl of Bedford: Where, if I fail not in my policy, I shall deceive their subtle treachery. HODGE. Nay, I'll follow you. God bless us from the thieving Bandettoes again. [Exit omnes.] ACT III. SCENE II. A room in an hotel. [Enter Bedford and his Host.] BEDFORD. Am I betrayed? was Bedford born to die By such base slaves in such a place as this? Have I escaped so many times in France, So many battles have I over passed, And made the French stir when they heard my name; And am I now betrayed unto my death? Some of their hearts' blood first shall pay for it. HOST. They do desire, my Lord, to speak with you. BEDFORD. The traitors do desire to have my blood, But by my birth, my honour, and my name, By all my hopes, my life shall cost them dear. Open the door; I'll venture out upon them, And if I must die, then I'll die with honour. HOST. Alas, my Lord, that is a desperate course; They have begirt you round about the house; Their meaning is to take you prisoner, And so to send your body unto France. BEDFORD. First shall the Ocean be as dry as sand, Before alive they send me unto France: I'll have my body first bored like a Sieve, And die as Hector, gainst the Mirmidons, Ere France shall boast Bedford's their prisoner. Treacherous France, that, gainst the law of arms, Hath here betrayed thy enemy to death. But be assured, my blood shall be revenged Upon the best lives that remains in France.-- [Enter a Servant.] Stand back, or else thou run'st upon thy death. MESSENGER. Pardon, my Lord; I come to tell your honour, That they have hired a Neopolitan, Who by his Oratory hath promised them, Without the shedding of one drop of blood, Into their hands safe to deliver you, And therefore craves none but himself may enter And a poor swain that attends on him. [Exit servant.] BEDFORD. A Neopolitan? bid him come in. Were he as cunning in his Eloquence As Cicero, the famous man of Rome, His words would be as chaff against the wind. Sweet tongued Ulysses that made Ajax mad, Were he and his tongue in this speaker's head, Alive he wins me not; then, tis no conquest dead. [Enter Cromwell like a Neopolitan, and Hodge with him.] CROMWELL. Sir, are you the master of the house? HOST. I am, sir. CROMWELL. By this same token you must leave this place, And leave none but the Earl and I together, And this my Peasant here to tend on us. HOST. With all my heart. God grant, you do some good. [Exit Host. Cromwell shuts the door.] BEDFORD. Now, sir, what's you will with me? CROMWELL. Intends your honour not to yield your self? BEDFORD. No, good man goose, not while my sword doth last. Is this your eloquence for to persuade me? CROMWELL. My Lord, my eloquence is for to save you. I am not, as you judge, a Neopolitan, But Cromwell, your servant, and an Englishman. BEDFORD. How? Cromwell? not my Farrier's son? CROMWELL. The same, sir, and am come to succour you. HODGE. Yes, faith, sir; and I am Hodge, your poor Smith. Many a time and oft have I shoed your Dapper Gray. BEDFORD. And what avails it me that thou art here? CROMWELL. It may avail, if you'll be ruled by me. My Lord, you know the men of Mantua And these Bononians are at deadly strife, And they, my Lord, both love and honour you. Could you but get out of the Mantua port, Then were you safe despite of all their force. BEDFORD. Tut, man, thou talkest of things impossible. Dost thou not see that we are round beset? How, then, is it possible we should escape? CROMWELL. By force we cannot, but by policy. Put on the apparel here that Hodge doth wear, And give him yours--the States, they know you not, For, as I think, they never saw your face-- And at a watch-word must I call them in, And will desire, that we safe may pass To Mantua, where I'll say my business lies. How doth your Honor like of this devise? BEDFORD. O wondrous good! But wilt thou venter, Hodge? HODGE. Will I?-- O noble Lord, I do accord, In anything I can, And do agree, to set thee free, Do fortune what she can. BEDFORD. Come, then, let's change our apparel straight. CROMWELL. Go, Hodge; make haste, least they chance to call. HODGE. I warrant you I'll fit him with a suit. [Exit Earl & Hodge.] CROMWELL. Heavens grant this policy doth take success, And that the Earl may safely scape away. And yet it grieves me for this simple wretch, For fear they should offer him violence: But of two evils, tis best to shun the greatest, And better is it that he lives in thrall, Than such a Noble Earl as he should fall. Their stubborn hearts, it may be, will relent, Since he is gone to whom their hate is bent.-- My Lord, have you dispatched? [Enter Bedford like the Clown, and Hodge in his cloak and his Hat.] BEDFORD. How doost thou like us, Cromwell? is it well? CROMWELL. O, my Lord, excellent: Hodge, how doost feel thy self? HODGE. How do I feel my self? why, as a Noble man should do. O, how I feel honor come creeping on! My Nobility is wonderful melancholy: Is it not most Gentlemen like to be melancholy? CROMWELL. Yes, Hodge; now go sit down in his study, and take state upon thee. HODGE. I warrant you, my Lord; let me alone to take state upon me: but hark you, my Lord, do you feel nothing bite about you? BEDFORD. No, trust me, Hodge. HODGE. Aye, they know they want their pasture; it's a strange thing of this vermine, they dare not meddle with Nobility. CROMWELL. Go, take thy place, Hodge; I'll call them in.-- [Hodge sits in the study, and Cromwell calls in the States.] All is done, enter and if you please. [Enter the States and Officers, with Halberts.] GOVERNOUR. What, have you won him? will he yield himself? CROMWELL. I have, an't please you, and the quiet Earl Doth yield himself to be disposed by you. GOVERNOUR. Give him the money that we promised him; So let him go, whether it please himself. CROMWELL. My business, sir, lies unto Mantua, Please you to give me safe conduct thether. GOVERNOUR. Go and conduct him to the Mantua Port, And see him safe delivered presently. [Exit Cromwell and Bedford.] Go draw the curtains, let us see the Earl.-- O, he is writing; stand apart awhile. HODGE. Fellow William, I am not as I have been: I went from you a Smith, I write to you as a Lord. I am, at this present writing, among the Polonian Sasiges. I do commend my Lordship to Raphe & to Roger, to Bridget & to Doritie, & so to all the youth of Putney. GOVERNOUR. Sure, these are the names of English Noblemen, Some of his special friends, to whom he writes: But stay, he doth address himself to sing. [Here he sings a song.] My Lord, I am glad you are so frolic and so blithe: Believe me, noble Lord, if you knew all, You'd change your merry vein to sudden sorrow. HODGE. I change my merry vein? no, thou Bononian, no. I am a Lord--and therefore let me go-- And do defy thee and thy Sasigis; Therefore stand off, and come not near my honor. GOVERNOUR. My Lord, this jesting cannot serve your turn. HODGE. Doost think, thou black Bononian beast, That I do flout, do gibe, or jest, No, no, thou Beer-pot, know that I, A noble Earl, a Lord pardie-- [A Trumpet sounds.] GOVERNOUR. What means this Trumpet's sound? [Enter a Messenger.] CITIZEN. One come from the States of Mantua. GOVERNOUR. What would you with us? speak, thou man of Mantua. MESSENGER. Men of Bononia, this my message is: To let you know the Noble Earl of Bedford Is safe within the town of Mantua, And wills you send the peasant that you have, Who hath deceived your expectation; Or else the States of Mantua have vowed They will recall the truce that they have made, And not a man shall stir from forth your town, That shall return, unless you send him back. GOVERNOUR. O this misfortune, how it mads my heart! The Neopolitan hath beguiled us all. Hence with this fool! what shall we do with him, The Earl being gone? a plague upon it all. HODGE. No, I'll assure you, I am no Earl, but a smith, sir; One Hodge, a smith at Putney, sir; One that hath gulled you, that hath bored you, sir. GOVERNOUR. Away with him! take hence the fool you came for. HODGE. Aye, sir, and I'll leave the greater fool with you. MESSENGER. Farewell, Bononians. Come, friend, a long with me. HODGE. My friend, afore; my Lordship will follow thee. [Exit.] GOVERNOUR. Well, Mantua, since by thee the Earl is lost, Within few days I hope to see thee crossed. [Exit omnes.] [Enter Chorus.] CHORUS. Thus far you see how Cromwell's fortune passed. The Earl of Bedford, being safe in Mantua, Desires Cromwell's company into France, To make requital for his courtesy: But Cromwell doth deny the Earl his suit, And tells him that those parts he meant to see, he had not yet set footing on the land, And so directly takes his way to Spain: The Earl to France, and so they both do part. Now let your thoughts, as swift as is the wind, Skip some few years, that Cromwell spent in travel, And now imagine him to be in England, Servant unto the master of the Rules, Where in short time he there began to flourish. An hour shall show you what few years did cherish. [Exit.] ACT III. SCENE III. London. A room in Sir Christopher Hales's house. [The Music plays, they bring out the banquet. Enter Sir Christopher Hales, and Cromwell, and two servants.] HALES. Come, sirs, be careful of your master's credit, And as our bounty now exceeds the figure Of common entertainment: so do you With looks as free as is your master's soul, Give formal welcome to the thronged tables, That shall receive the Cardinal's followers And the attendants of the Lord Chancellor. But all my care, Cromwell, depends on thee. Thou art a man differing from vulgar form, And by how much thy spirit is ranked bove these In rules of Art, by so much it shines brighter By travel whose observance pleads his merit, In a most learned, yet unaffecting spirit, Good Cromwell, cast an eye of fair regard Bout all my house, and what this ruder flesh, Through ignorance, or wine, do miscreate, Salve thou with courtesy: if welcome want, Full bowls and ample banquets will seem scant. CROMWELL. Sir, what soever lies in me, Assure you, I will shew my utmost duty. [Exit Cromwell.] HALES. About it, then; the Lords will straight be here.-- Cromwell, thou hast those parts would rather suit The service of the state, than of my house. I look upon thee with a loving eye, That one day will prefer thy destiny. [Enter Messenger.] MESSENGER. Sir, the Lords be at hand. HALES. They are welcome; bid Cromwell straight attend us, And look you all things be in perfect readiness. [The Music plays. Enter Cardinal Wolsey, Sir Thomas More and Gardiner.] WOLSEY. O, sir Christopher, You are too liberal. What, a banket to? HALES. My Lords, if words could show the ample welcome, That my free heart affords you, I could then Become a prater, but I now must deal Like a feast Politician with your Lordships; Defer your welcome till the banket end, That it may then salve our defect of fair: Yet Welcome now and all that tend on you. WOLSEY. Thanks to the kind master of the Rules. Come and sit down; sit down, sir Thomas More. Tis strange, how that we and the Spaniard differ. Their dinner is our banquet after dinner, And they are men of active disposition. This I gather: that by their sparing meat Their body is more fitter for the wars, And if that famine chance to pinch their maws, Being used to fast it breeds less pain. HALES. Fill me some Wine: I'll answer Cardinal Wolsey. My Lord, we English are of more freer souls Than hungerstarved and ill complexioned spaniards. They that are rich in Spain spare belly food, To deck their backs with an Italian hood, And Silks of Civil: And the poorest Snake, That feeds on Lemons, Pilchers, and near heated His pallet with sweet flesh, will bear a case More fat and gallant than his starved face. Pride, the Inquisition, and this belly evil, Are, in my judgement, Spain's three headed devil. MORE. Indeed it is a plague unto their nation, Who stagger after in blind imitation. HALES. My Lords, with welcome, I present your Lordships A solemn health. MORE. I love health well, but when as healths do bring Pain to the head and bodies sufeiting, Then cease I healths.-- Nay, spill not, friend, for though the drops be small, Yet have they force, to force men to the wall. WOLSEY. Sir Christopher, is that your man? HALES. And like your grace; he is a Scholar and A Lingest, one that hath travelled many parts Of Christendom, my Lord. WOLSEY. My friend, come nearer; have you been a traveller? CROMWELL. My Lord, I have added to my knowledge the low Countries, France, Spain, Germany, and Italy: And though small gain of profit I did find, Yet did it please my eye, content my mind. WOLSEY. What do you think of the several states And princes' Courts as you have travelled? CROMWELL. My Lord, no Court with England may compare, Neither for state nor civil government: Lust dwells in France, in Italy, and Spain, From the poor peasant to the Prince's train, In Germany and Holland riot serves, And he that most can drink, most he deserves: England I praise not, for I here was borne, But that she laugheth the others unto scorn. WOLSEY. My Lord, there dwells within that spirit More than can be discerned by outward eye. Sir Christopher, will you part with your man? HALES. I have sought to profer him to your Lordship, And now I see he hath prefered himself. WOLSEY. What is thy name? CROMWELL. Cromwell, my Lord. WOLSEY. Then, Cromwell, here we make thee Solicitor of our causes, and nearest next our self. Gardiner give you kind welcome to the man. [Gardiner embraces him.] MORE. My Lord, you are a royal Winer, Have got a man besides your bounteous dinner. Well, Knight, pray we come no more: If we come often, thou maist shut thy door. WOLSEY. Sir Christopher, hadst thou given me half thy lands, Thou couldest not have pleased me so much as with This man of thine. My infant thoughts do spell: Shortly his fortune shall be lifted higher; True industry doth kindle honour's fire. And so, kind master of the Rules, farewell. HALES. Cromwell, farewell. CROMWELL. Cromwell takes his leave of you, That near will leave to love and honour you. [Exit omnes. The Music plays, as they go in.] ACT IV. [Enter Chorus.] CHORUS. Now Cromwell's highest fortunes doth begin. Wolsey, that loved him as he did his life, Committed all his treasure to his hands. Wolsey is dead, and Gardiner, his man, Is now created Bishop of Winchester: Pardon if we omit all Wolsey's life, Because our play depends on Cromwell's death. Now sit and see his highest state of all; His haight of rising and his sudden fall. Pardon the errors is all ready past, And live in hope the best doth come at last: My hope upon your favour doth depend, And look to have your liking ere the end. [Exit.] ACT IV. SCENE I. The same. A public walk. [Enter Gardiner Bishop of Winchester, The Dukes of Norfolk, and of Suffolk, Sir Thomas More, Sir Christopher Hales, and Cromwell.] NORFOLK. Master Cromwell, since Cardinal Wolsey's death, His majesty is given to understand There's certain bills and writings in your hand, That much concerns the state of England. My Lord of Winchester, is it not so? GARDINER. My Lord of Norfolk, we two wear whilom fellows; And, master Cromwell, though our master's love Did bind us, while his love was to the King, It is not boot now to deny these things, Which may be prejudicial to the state: And though that God hath raised my fortune higher Than any way I looked for or deserved, Yet my life no longer with me dwell, Than I prove true unto my Sovereign: What say you, master Cromwell? have you those writings? Aye, or no? CROMWELL. Here are the writings, and upon my knees, I give them up unto the worthy Dukes Of Suffolk and of Norfolk: he was my Master, And each virtuous part, That lived in him, I tendered with my heart; But what his head complotted gainst the state My country's love commands me that to hate. His sudden death I grieve for, not his fall, Because he sought to work my country's thrall. SUFFOLK. Cromwell, the King shall hear of this thy duty, Whom I assure my self will well reward thee; My Lord let's go unto his Majesty, And show these writings which he longs to see. [Exit Norfolk and Suffolk.] [Enter Bedford hastily.] BEDFORD. How now, who's this? Cromwell, by my soul! welcome to England: Thou once didst save my life, didst not Cromwell? CROMWELL. If I did so, 'tis greater glory for me, That you remember it, than of my self Vainly to report it. BEDFORD. Well, Cromwell, now is the time, I shall commend thee to my Sovereign: Cheer up thy self, for I will raise thy state. A Russell yet was never found ingrate. [Exit.] HALES. O how uncertain is the wheel of state. Who lately greater than the Cardinal, For fear, and love? and now who lower lies? Gay honours are but Fortune's flatteries, And whom this day pride and promotion swells, To morrow envy and ambition quells. MORE. Who sees the Cob-web intangle the poor Fly, May boldly say the wretches death is nigh. GARDINER. I knew his state and proud ambition Was too too violent to last over-long. HALES. Who soars too near the sun with golden wings, Melts them, to ruin his own fortune brings. [Enter the Duke of Suffolk.] SUFFOLK. Cromwell, kneel down in King Henry's name.-- Arise sir Thomas Cromwell; thus begins thy fame. [Enter the Duke of Norfolk.] NORFOLK. Cromwell, the majesty of England, For the good liking he conceives of thee, Makes thee master of the jewel house, Chief Secretary to himself, and with all, Creates thee one of his highness' privy Counsel. [Enter the Earl of Bedford.] BEDFORD. Where is sir Thomas Cromwell? is he knighted? SUFFOLK. He is, my Lord. BEDFORD. Then to add honour to his name, The King creates him Lord keeper of His privy Seal, and master of the Rules, Which you sir Christopher do now enjoy; The King determines higher place for you. CROMWELL. My Lords, These honors are too high for my desert. MORE. O content thee, man; who would not choose it? Yet thou art wise in seeming to refuse it. GARDINER. Here's honors, titles, and promotions: I fear this climbing will have a sudden fall. NORFOLK. Then come, my Lords; let's altogether bring This new made Counselor to England's King. [Exit all but Gardiner.] GARDINER. But Gardiner means his glory shall be dimmed. Shall Cromwell live a greater man than I? My envy with his honour now is bred; I hope to shorten Cromwell by the head. [Exit.] ACT IV. SCENE II. London. A street before Cromwell's house. [Enter Friskiball very poor.] FRISKIBALL. O Friskiball, what shall become of thee? Where shalt thou go, or which way shalt thou turn Fortune, that turns her too unconstant wheel, Hath turned thy wealth and riches in the Sea. All parts abroad where ever I have been Grows weary of me, and denies me succour; My debtors, they that should relieve my want, Forswears my money, says they owe me none: They know my state too mean to bear out law, And here in London, where I oft have been, And have done good to many a wretched man, I am now most wretched here, despised my self. In vain it is, more of their hearts to try; Be patient, therefore, lay thee down and die. [He lies down.] [Enter good man Seely, and his wife Joan.] SEELY. Come, Joan, come; let's see what he'll do for us now. Iwis we have done for him, when many a time and often he might have gone a hungry to bed. WIFE. Alas, man, now he is made a Lord, he'll never look upon us; he'll fulfill the old Proverb: Set beggars a horse-back, and they'll ride.--A, welliday for my Cow! such as he hath made us come behind hand: we had never pawned our Cow else to pay our rent. SEELY. Well, Joan, he'll come this way: and by God's dickers, I'll tell him roundly of it, and if he were ten Lords: a shall know that I had not my Cheese and my Bacon for nothing. WIFE. Do you remember, husband, how he would mooch up my Cheese cakes? he hath forgot this now, but we'll remember him. SEELY. Aye, we shall have now three flaps with a Fox tail; but, I faith, I'll gibber a joint, but I'll tell him his own. Stay, who comes here? O stand up; here he comes; stand up. [Enter Hodge very fine with a Tipstaff; Cromwell, the Mace carried before him; Norfolk, and Suffolk, and attendants.] HODGE. Come, away with these beggars here; rise up, sirra. Come, out the good people: run afore there, ho! [Friskiball riseth, and stands a far off.] SEELY. Aye, we are kicked away, now we come for our own; the time hath been he would a looked more friendly upon us. And you, Hodge, we know you well enough, though you are so fine. CROMWELL. Come hither, sirrah.--Stay, what men are these? My honest Host of Hounslow and his wife! I owe thee money, father, do I not? SEELY. Aye, by the body of me, dooest thou. Would thou wouldest pay me: good four pound it is, I have a the post at home. CROMWELL. I know tis true. Sirra, give him ten Angels: And look your wife and you do stay to dinner: And while you live, I freely give to you Four pound a year, for the four pound I ought you. SEELY. Art not changed, art old Tom still! Now God bless the good Lord Tom. Home, Joan, home; I'll dine with my Lord Tom to day, and thou shalt come next week. Fetch my Cow; home, Joan, home. WIFE. Now God bless thee, my good Lord Tom; I'll fetch my cow presently. [Exit Wife.] [Enter Gardiner.] CROMWELL. Sirra, go to yon stranger; tell him I Desire him stay at dinner. I must speak With him. GARDINER. My Lord of Norfolk, see you this same bubble, That same puff? but mark the end, my Lord, Mark the end. NORFOLK. I promise you, I like not something he hath done, But let that pass; the King doth love him well. CROMWELL. God morrow to my Lord of Winchester. I know you bear me hard about the Abbey lands. GARDINER. Have I not reason, when religion is wronged? You had no colour for what you have done. CROMWELL. Yes; the abolishing of Antichrist, And of this Popish order from our Realm. I am no enemy to religion, But what is done, it is for England's good. What did they serve for but to feed a sort Of lazy Abbots and of full fed Friars? They neither plow, nor sow, and yet they reap The fat of all the Land, and suck the poor: Look, what was theirs, is in King Henry's hands; His wealth before lay in the Abbey lands. GARDINER. Indeed these things you have alleged, my Lord, When God doth know the infant yet unborn Will curse the time the Abbeys were pulled down. I pray, now where is hospitality? Where now may poor distressed people go, For to relieve their need, or rest their bones, When weary travel doth oppress their limbs? And where religious men should take them in, Shall now be kept back with a Mastiff do, And thousand thousand-- NORFOLK. O, my Lord, no more: things past redress Tis bootless to complain. CROMWELL. What, shall we to the Convocation house? NORFOLK. We'll follow you, my Lord; pray, lead the way. [Enter Old Cromwell like a Farmer.] OLD CROMWELL. How? one Cromwell made Lord Keeper since I left Putney And dwelt in Yorkshire. I never heard better news: I'll see that Cromwell, or it shall go hard. CROMWELL. My aged father! state set aside, Father, on my knee I crave your blessing: One of my servants go and have him in; At better leisure will we talk with him. OLD CROMWELL. Now if I die, how happy were the day! To see this comfort rains forth showers of joy. [Exit Old Cromwell.] NORFOLK. This duty in him shows a kind of grace. CROMWELL. Go on before, for time draws on apace. [Exit all buy Friskiball.] FRISKIBALL. I wonder what this Lord would have with me. His man so strictly gave me charge to stay: I never did offend him to my knowledge. Well, good or bad, I mean to bide it all; Worse than I am now never can befall. [Enter Banister and his wife.] BANISTER. Come, wife, I take it be almost dinner time, For master Newton, and master Crosby sent To me last night, they would come dine with me, And take their bond in: I pray thee, hie thee home, And see that all things be in readiness. MISTRESS BANISTER. They shall be welcome, husband; I'll go before.-- But is not that man master Friskiball? [She runs and embraces him.] BANISTER. O heavens, it is kind master Friskiball! Say sir, what hap hath brought you to this pass? FRISKIBALL. The same that brought you to your misery. BANISTER. Why would you not acquaint me with your state? Is Banister your poor friend quite forgot: Whose goods, whose love, whose life and all is yours? FRISKIBALL. I thought your usage would be as the rest, That had more kindness at my hands than you, Yet looked askance, when as they saw me poor. MISTRESS BANISTER. If Banister should bear so base a heart, I never would look my husband in the face, But hate him as I would a Cockatrise. BANISTER. And well thou mightest, should Banister deal so. Since that I saw you, sir, my state is mended: And for the thousand pound I owe to you, I have it ready for you, sir, at home; And though I grieve your fortune is so bad, Yet that my hap's to help you make me glad. And now, sir, will it please you walk with me? FRISKIBALL. Not yet I cannot, for the Lord Chancellor Hath here commanded me to wait on him, For what I know not: pray God tis for my good. BANISTER. never make doubt of that; I'll warrant you, He is as kind a noble gentleman As ever did possess the place he hath. MISTRESS BANISTER. Sir, my brother is his steward; if you please, We'll go along and bear you company: I know we shall not want for welcome there. FRISKIBALL. With all my heart: but what's become of Bagot? BANISTER. He is hanged, for buying jewels of the King's. FRISKIBALL. A just reward for one so impious. The time draws on, sir; will you go along? BANISTER. I'll follow you, kind master Friskiball. [Exit Omnes.] ACT IV. SCENE III. The same. Another street. [Enter two Merchants.] FIRST MERCHANT. Now, master Crosby, I see you have a care, To keep your word, in payment of your money. SECOND MERCHANT. By my faith, I have reason upon a bond; Three thousand pound is too much to forfeit. Yet I doubt not Master Banister. FIRST MERCHANT. By my faith, your sum is more than mine, And yet i am not much behind you too, Considering that to day I paid at court. SECOND MERCHANT. Mass, and well remembered, What's the reason the Lord Cromwell's men Wear such long skirts upon their coats. They reach almost down to their very ham. FIRST MERCHANT. I will resolve you, sir; and thus it is: The Bishop of Winchester, that loves not Cromwell, As great men are envied, as well as less-- A while ago there was a jar between them, And it was brought to my Lord Cromwell's ear, That Bishop Gardiner would sit on his skirt; Upon which word, he made his men long Blue coats, And in the Court wore one of them himself: And meeting with the Bishop, quoth he, 'My Lord, Here's skirt enough now for your Grace to sit on;' Which vexed the Bishop to the very heart. This is the reason why they wear long coats. SECOND MERCHANT. Tis always seen, and mark it for a rule, That one great man will envy still another: But tis a thing that nothing concerns me. What, shall we now to Master Banister's? FIRST MERCHANT. Aye, come, we'll pay him royally for our dinner. [Exit.] ACT IV. SCENE IV. The same. A room in Cromwell's house. [Enter the Usher and the Shewer, the meat goes over the stage.] USHER. Uncover there, Gentlemen. [Enter Cromwell, Bedford, Suffolk, Old Cromwell, Friskiball, goodman Seely, and attendants.] CROMWELL. My noble Lords of Suffolk and of Bedford, Your honors' welcome to poor Cromwell's house. Where is my father? nay, be covered, Father. Although that duty to these noble men Doth challenge it, yet I'll make bold with them. Your head doth bear the calendar of care. What, Cromwell covered and his Father bare! It must not be. Now, sir, to you. Is not Your name Friskiball and a Florentine? FRISKIBALL. My name was Friskiball, till cruel fate Did rob me of my name and of my state. CROMWELL. What fortune brought you to this country now? FRISKIBALL. All other parts hath left me succourless, Save only this. Because of debts I have, I hope to gain for to relieve my want. CROMWELL. Did you not once, upon your Florence bridge, Help two distressed men, robbed by the Bandetti?-- His name was Cromwell. FRISKIBALL. I never made my brain a calendar Of any good I did; I always loved this nation with my heart. CROMWELL. I am that Cromwell that you there relieved. Sixteen Ducats you gave me for to clothe me, Sixteen to bear my charges by the way, And sixteen more I had for my horse hire: There be those several sums justly returned, Yet with injustice, serving at my need, And to repay them without interest. Therefore receive of me these four several bags; In each of them there is four hundred mark; And bring me the names of all your debitors, And if they will not see you paid, I will: O God forbid, that I should see him fall, That helped me in my greatest need of all. Here stands my Father that first gave me life, Alas, what duty is too much for him? This man in time of need did save my life, And therefore I cannot do too much for him. By this old man I often times was fed, Else might I have gone supperless to bed. Such kindness have I had of these three men, That Cromwell no way can repay again. Now in to dinner, for we stay too long, And to good stomachs is no greater wrong. [Exit omnes.] ACT IV. SCENE V. The same. A room in the Bishop of Winchester's house. [Enter Gardiner in his study, and his man.] GARDINER. Sirra, where be those men I caused to stay? SERVANT. They do attend your pleasure, sir, within. GARDINER. Bid them come hither, and stay you without:-- For by those men, the Fox of this same land, That makes a Goose of better than himself, We'll worry him unto his latest home, Or Gardiner will fail in his intent. As for the Dukes of Suffolk and Norfolk, Whom I have sent for to come speak with me, Howsoever, outwardly they shadow it, Yet in their hearts I know they love him not: As for the Earl of Bedford, he is but one, And dares not gainsay what we do set down. [Enter the two witnesses.] Now, my friends, you know I saved your lives, When by the law you had deserved death, And then you promised me upon your oaths, To venture both your lives to do me good. BOTH WITNESSES. We swore no more than that we will perform. GARDINER. I take your words; and that which you must do Is service for your God, and for your King: To root a rebel from this flourishing land, One that's an enemy unto the Church: And therefore must you take your solemn oaths, That you heard Cromwell, the Lord Chancellor, Did wish a dagger at King Henry's heart. Fear not to swear it, for I heard him speak it; Therefore we'll shield you from ensuing harms. SECOND WITNESS. If you will warrant us the deed is good, We'll undertake it. GARDINER. Kneel down, and I will here absolve you both. This Crucifix I lay upon your head, And sprinkle holy-water on your brows. The deed is meritorious that you do, And by it shall you purchase grace from heaven. FIRST WITNESS. Now, sir, we'll undertake it, by our souls. SECOND WITNESS. For Cromwell never loved none of our sort. GARDINER. I know he doth not, and for both of you, I will prefer you to some place of worth: Now get you in, until I call for you, For presently the Dukes means to be here. [Exit witnesses.] Cromwell, sit fast, thy time's not long to reign. The Abbeys that were pulled down by thy means Is now a mean for me to pull thee down: Thy pride also thy own head lights upon, For thou art he hath changed religion:-- But now no more, for here the Dukes are come. [Enter Suffolk, Norfolk, and the Earl of Bedford.] SUFFOLK. Goodden to my Lord Bishop. NORFOLK. How fares my Lord? what, are you all alone? GARDINER. No, not alone, my Lords; my mind is troubled; I know your honours muse wherefore I sent, And in such haste. What, came you from the King? NORFOLK. We did, and left none but Lord Cromwell with him. GARDINER. O, what a dangerous time is this we live in! There's Thomas Wolsey, he's already gone, And Thomas More, he followed after him: Another Thomas yet there doth remain, That is far worse than either of those twain, And if with speed, my Lords, we not pursue it, I fear the King and all the land will rue it. BEDFORD. Another Thomas! pray God it be not Cromwell. GARDINER. My Lord of Bedford, it is that traitor Cromwell. BEDFORD. Is Cromwell false? my heart will never think it. SUFFOLK. My Lord of Winchester, what likelihood, Or proof have you of this his treachery? GARDINER. My Lord, too much.--Call in the men within. [Enter witnesses.] These men, my Lord, upon their oaths affirm, That they did hear Lord Cromwell in his garden, Wished a dagger sticking at the heart Of our King Henry. What is this but treason? BEDFORD. If it be so, my heart doth bleed with sorrow. SUFFOLK. How say you friends? what, did you hear these words? FIRST WITNESS. We did, and like your grace. NORFOLK. In what place was Lord Cromwell when he spake them? SECOND WITNESS. In his Garden, where we did attend a suit, Which we had waited for two year and more. SUFFOLK. How long ist since you heard him speak these words? SECOND WITNESS. Some half year since. BEDFORD. How chance that you concealed it all this time? FIRST WITNESS. His greatness made us fear, that was the cause. GARDINER. Aye, aye, his greatness; that's the cause indeed; And to make his treason here more manifest, He calls his servants to him round about, Tells them of Wolsey's life, and of his fall, Says that himself hath many enemies, And gives to some of them a Park or Manor, To others Leases, Lands to other some: What need he do thus in his prime of life, And if he were not fearful of his death? SUFFOLK. My Lord, these likelihoods are very great. BEDFORD. Pardon me, Lords, for I must needs depart; Their proofs are great, but greater is my heart. [Exit Bedford.] NORFOLK. My friends, take heed of that which you have said. Your souls must answer what your tongues reports: Therefore, take heed, be wary what you do. SECOND WITNESS. My Lord, we speak no more but truth. NORFOLK. Let them Depart.--My Lord of Winchester, let these men Be close kept until the day of trial. GARDINER. They shall, my Lord: ho, take in these two men. [Exit witnesses.] My Lords, if Cromwell have a public trial, That which we do is void by his denial; You know the king will credit none but him. NORFOLK. Tis true, he rules the King even as he pleases. SUFFOLK. How shall we do for to attach him, then? GARDINER. Marry, my Lords, thus: by an Act he made himself, With an intent to entrap some of our lives, And this it is: If any Counsellor Be convicted of high treason, he shall Be executed without a public trial. This Act, my Lords, he caused the King to make. SUFFOLK. A did indeed, and I remember it, And now it is like to fall upon himself. NORFOLK. Let us not slack it, tis for England's good. We must be wary, else he'll go beyond us. GARDINER. Well hath your Grace said, my Lord of Norfolk; Therefore let us presently to Lambeth. Thether comes Cromwell from the Court to night. Let us arrest him, send him to the Tower, And in the morning, cut off the traitor's head. NORFOLK. Come, then, about it, let us guard the town. This is the day that Cromwell must go down. GARDINER. Along, my Lords.--Well, Cromwell is half dead; He shaked my heart, but I will shave his head. [Exeunt.] ACT V. SCENE I. A street in London. [Enter Bedford solus.] BEDFORD. My soul is like a water troubled, And Gardiner is the man that makes it so. O, Cromwell, I do fear they end is near: Yet I'll prevent their malice if I can. And in good time, see where the man doth come, Who little knows how nears his day of doom. [Enter Cromwell with his train. Bedford makes as though he would speak to him: he goes on.] CROMWELL. You're well encountered, my good Lord of Bedford. I see your honour is addressed to talk; Pray pardon me, I am sent for to the king, And do not know the business yet my self. So fare you well, for I must needs be gone. [Exit all the train.] BEDFORD. You must; well, what remedy? I fear too soon you must be gone indeed. The king hath business, but little doest thou know, Whose busy for thy life: thou thinks not so. [Enter Cromwell and the train again.] CROMWELL. The second time well met, my Lord of Bedford; I am very sorry that my haste is such. Lord Marquess Dorset being sick to death, I must receive of him the privy seal. At Lambeth, soon, my Lord, we'll talk our fill. [Exit the train.] BEDFORD. How smooth and easy is the way to death! [Enter a servant.] MESSENGER. My Lord, the dukes of Norfolk and of Suffolk, Accompanied with the Bishop of Winchester, Entreats you to come presently to Lambeth, On earnest matters that concerns the state. BEDFORD. To Lambeth! so: go fetch me pen and ink. I and Lord Cromwell there shall talk enough; Aye, and our last, I fear, and if he come. [He writes a letter.] Here, take this letter, and bear it to Lord Cromwell. Bid him read it; say it concerns him near: Away, begone, make all the haste you can. To Lambeth do I go a woeful man. [Exit.] ACT V. SCENE II. A street near the Thames. [Enter Cromwell and his train.] CROMWELL. Is the Barge ready? I will straight to Lambeth, And if this one day's business once were past, I'd take my ease to morrow after trouble.-- How now, my friend, wouldst thou speak with me? [The Messenger brings him the letter; he puts it in his pocket.] MESSENGER. Sir, here's a letter from my Lord of Bedford. CROMWELL. O good, my friend, commend me to thy Lord. Hold, take those Angels; drink them for thy pains. MESSENGER. He doth desire your grace to read it, Because he says it doth concern you near. CROMWELL. Bid him assure himself of that. Farewell. To morrow, tell him, shall he hear from me.-- Set on before there, and away to Lambeth. [Exeunt omnes.] ACT V. SCENE III. Lambeth. [Enter Winchester, Suffolk, Norfolk, Bedford, Sargeant at arms, the Herald, and halberts.] GARDINER. Halberts, stand close unto the waterside; Sargeant at arms, be bold in your office; Herald, deliver your proclamation. HERALD. This is to give notice to all the king's subjects: The late Lord Cromwell, Lord Chancellor of England, Vicar general over the realm, him to hold and esteem as a traitor against the Crown and dignity of England: So God save the king. GARDINER. Amen. BEDFORD. Amen,--and root thee from the land, For whilst thou livest truth cannot stand. NORFOLK. Make a lane there, the traitor's at hand. Keep back Cromwell's men; Drown them if they come on.--Sargeant, your office. [Enter Cromwell, they make a lane with their halberts.] CROMWELL. What means my Lord of Norfolk by these words? Sirs, come along. GARDINER. Kill them, if they come on. SARGEANT. Lord Cromwell, in king Henry's name, I do arrest your honour of high treason. CROMWELL. Sargeant, me of treason? [Cromwell's men offer to draw.] SUFFOLK. Kill them, if they draw a sword. CROMWELL. Hold; I charge you, as you love me, draw not a sword. Who dares accuse Cromwell of treason now? GARDINER. This is no place to reckon up your crime; Your Dove-like looks were viewed with serpent's eyes. CROMWELL. With serpent's eyes, indeed, by thine they were; But Gardiner do thy worst, I fear thee not. My faith, compared with thine, as much shall pass, As doth the Diamond excel the glass. Attached of treason, no accusers by! Indeed, what tongue dares speak so foul a lie? NORFOLK. My Lord, my Lord, matters are too well known, And it is time the king had note thereof. CROMWELL. The king! let me go to him face to face; No better trial I desire than that: Let him but say that Cromwell's faith was feigned, Then let my honour and my name be stained. If ever my heart against my king was set, O let my soul in Judgement answer it: Then, if my faith's confirmed with his reason, Gainst whom hath Cromwell, then, committed treason? SUFFOLK. My Lord, your matter shall be tried; Mean time, with patience content your self. CROMWELL. Perforce I must with patience be content. O dear friend Bedford, doest thou stand so near? Cromwell rejoiceth one friend sheds a tear. And whether ist? which way must Cromwell now? GARDINER. My Lord, you must unto the tower. Lieutenant, Take him to your charge. CROMWELL. Well, where you please; yet before I part, Let me confer a little with my men. GARDINER. As you go by water, so you shall. CROMWELL. I have some business present to impart. NORFOLK. You may not stay. Lieutenant, take your charge. CROMWELL. Well, well, my Lord, you second Gardiner's text. Norfolk, farewell; thy turn will be the next. [Exit Cromwell and the Lieutenant.] GARDINER. His guilty conscience makes him rave, my Lord. NORFOLK. Aye, let him talk; his time is short enough. GARDINER. My Lord of Bedford, come; you weep for him, That would not shed half a tear for you. BEDFORD. It grieves me for to see his sudden fall. GARDINER. Such success wish I to traitors still. [Exeunt.] ACT V. SCENE IV. London. A street. [Enter two Citizens.] FIRST CITIZEN. Why, can this news be true? ist possible? The great Lord Cromwell arrested upon treason! I hardly will believe it can be so. SECOND CITIZEN. It is too true, sir; would it were otherwise, Condition I spent half the wealth I had. I was at Lambeth, saw him there arrested, And afterward committed to the Tower. FIRST CITIZEN. What, wast for treason that he was committed? SECOND CITIZEN. Kind, noble Gentleman! I may rue the time. All that I have, I did enjoy by him, And if he die, then all my state is gone. FIRST CITIZEN. It may be doubted that he shall not die, Because the King did favour him so much. SECOND CITIZEN. O sir, you are deceived in thinking so. The grace and favour he had with the king Hath caused him have so many enemies: He that in court secure will keep himself, Must not be great, for then he is envied at. The Shrub is safe, when as the Cedar shakes; For where the King doth love above compare, Of others they as much more envied are. FIRST CITIZEN. Tis pity that this noble man should fall, He did so many charitable deeds. SECOND CITIZEN. Tis true, and yet you see in each estate, There's none so good, but some one doth him hate. And they before would smile him in the face, Will be the formost to do him disgrace: What, will you go along unto the Court? FIRST CITIZEN. I care not if I do, and hear the news, How men will judge what shall become of him. SECOND CITIZEN. Some will speak hardly, some will speak in pity. Go you to the Court, I'll unto the City; There I am sure to hear more news than you. FIRST CITIZEN. Why, then, soon will we meet again. [Exit.] ACT V. SCENE V. A room in the Tower. [Enter Cromwell in the Tower.] CROMWELL. Now, Cromwell, hast thou time to meditate, And think upon thy state, and of the time. Thy honours came unsought, aye, and unlooked for; Thy fall as sudden, and unlooked for too. What glory was in England that I had not? Who in this land commanded more than Cromwell? Except the King who greater than my self? But now I see, what after ages shall: The greater men, more sudden is their fall. And now do I remember the Earl of Bedford Was very desirous for to speak to me, And afterward sent to me a letter, The which I think I have still in my pocket. Now may I read it, for I now have leisure, And this I take it is. [He reads the Letter.] My Lord, come not this night to Lambeth, For if you do, your state is overthrown. And much I doubt your life, and if you come; Then if you love your self, stay where you are, O God! had I but read this letter, Then had I been free from the Lion's paw; Deferring this to read until to morrow, I spurned at joy, and did embrace my sorrow. [Enter the Lieutenant of the Tower and officers.] Now, master Lieutenant, when's this day of death? LIEUTENANT. Alas, my Lord, would I might never see it. Here are the Dukes of Suffolk and of Norfolk, Winchester, Bedford, and sir Richard Ratcliffe, With others, but why they come I know not. CROMWELL. No matter wherefore, Cromwell is prepared; For Gardiner has my state and life ensnared. Bid them come in, or you shall do them wrong, For here stands he, whom some thinks lives too long. Learning kills learning, and instead of Ink To dip his Pen, Cromwell's heart blood doth drink. [Enter all the Nobles.] NORFOLK. Good morrow, Cromwell. What, alone, so sad? CROMWELL. One good among you, none of you are bad.-- For my part, it best fits me be alone; Sadness with me, not I with any one. What, is the king acquainted with my cause? NORFOLK. We have, and he hath answered us, my Lord. CROMWELL. How, shall I come to speak with him my self? GARDINER. The King is so advertised of your guilt, he will by no means admit you to his presence. CROMWELL. No way admit me? am I so soon forgot? Did he but yesterday embrace my neck, And said that Cromwell was even half himself, And is his Princely ears so much bewitched With scandalous ignomy, and slanderous speeches, That now he dooth deny to look on me? Well, my Lord of Winchester, no doubt but you Are much in favour with his Majesty: Will you bear a letter from me to his grace? GARDINER. Pardon me, I'll bear no traitor's letters. CROMWELL. Ha! Will you do this kindness then? Tell him By word of mouth, what I shall say to you? GARDINER. That will I. CROMWELL. But, on your honour, will you? GARDINER. Aye, on my honor. CROMWELL. Bear witness, Lords.--Tell him when he hath known you, And tried your faith but half so much as mine, He'll find you to be the falsest hearted man In England. Pray, tell him this. BEDFORD. Be patient, good my Lord, in these extremes. CROMWELL. My kind and honorable Lord of Bedford, I know your honor always loved me well; But, pardon me, this still shall be my theme; Gardiner is the cause makes Cromwell so extreme. Sir Ralph Sadler, pray, a word with you: You were my man, and all that you possess Came by my means; to requite all this, Will you take this letter here of me, And give it with your own hands to the king? SADLER. I kiss your hand, and never will I rest, Ere to the king this will be delivered. [Exit Sadler.] CROMWELL. Why yet Cromwell hath one friend in store. GARDINER. But all the haste he makes shall be but vain.-- Here's a discharge for your prisoner, To see him executed presently.-- My Lord, you hear the tenor of your life. CROMWELL. I do embrace it, welcome my last date, And of this glistering world I take last leave: And, noble Lords, I take my leave of you.-- As willingly I go to meet with death, As Gardiner did pronounce it with his breath: From treason is my heart as white as snow, My death only procured by my foe. I pray, commend me to my Sovereign king, And tell him in what sort his Cromwell died, To lose his head before his cause were tried: But let his Grace, when he shall hear my name, Say only this: Gardiner procured the same. [Enter young Cromwell.] LIEUTENANT. Here is your son, come to take his leave. CROMWELL. To take his leave! Come hither, Harry Cromwell. Mark, boy, the last words that I speak to thee. Flatter not Fortune, neither fawn upon her; Gape not for state, yet lose no spark of honor; Ambition, like the plague see thou eschew it; I die for treason, boy, and never knew it. Yet let thy faith as spotless be as mine, And Cromwell's virtues in thy face shall shine. Come, go along and see me leave my breath, And I'll leave thee upon the flower of death. SON. O, father, I shall die to see that wound; Your blood being spilt will make my heart to sound. CROMWELL. How, boy, not look upon the Axe! How shall I do then to have my head stroke off? Come on, my child, and see the end of all, And after say that Gardiner was my fall. GARDINER. My Lord, you speak it of an envious heart; I have done no more than law and equity. BEDFORD. O, good my Lord of Winchester, forbear; It would a better seemed you to been absent, Than with your words disturb a dying man. CROMWELL. Who me, my Lord? no, he disturbs not me. My mind he stirs not, though his mighty shock Hath brought mo' peers' heads down to the block. Farewell, my boy! all Cromwell can bequeath, My hearty blessing; so I take my leave. HANGMAN. I am your death's man; pray, my Lord, forgive me. CROMWELL. Even with my soul. Why, man, thou art my Doctor, And brings me precious Physic for my soul.-- My Lord of Bedford, I desire of you, Before my death, a corporal embrace. [Bedford comes to him, Cromwell embraces him.] Farewell, great Lord; my love I do commend, My heart to you; my soul to heaven I send. This is my joy that, ere my body fleet, Your honoured arms is my true winding sheet. Farewell, dear Bedford; my peace is made in heaven. Thus falls great Cromwell a poor ell in length, To rise to unmeasured height, winged with new strength, The land of Worms, which dying men discover, My soul is shrined with heaven's celestial cover. [Exit Cromwell and the officers, and others.] BEDFORD. Well, farewell, Cromwell, the truest friend, That ever Bedford shall possess again.-- Well, Lords, I fear, when this man is dead, You'll wish in vain that Cromwell had a head. [Enter one with Cromwell's head.] OFFICER. Here is the head of the deceased Cromwell. BEDFORD. Pray thee, go hence, and bear his head away Unto his body; inter them both in clay. [Enter Sir Ralph Sadler.] SADLER. Ho now, my Lords: what, is Lord Cromwell dead? BEDFORD. Lord Cromwell's body now doth want a head. SADLER. O God! a little speed had saved his life. Here is a kind reprieve come from the king, To bring him straight unto his majesty. SUFFOLK. Aye, aye, sir Ralph, reprieves comes now too late. GARDINER. My conscience now tells me this deed was ill: Would Christ that Cromwell were alive again. NORFOLK. Come, let us to the king, whom well I know, Will grieve for Cromwell, that his death was so. [Exeunt omnes.] FINIS. Publication Date: May 29th 2008 https://www.bookrix.com/-bx.shakespeare

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Janelle Johnson Prom day Cant wait Prom Day It was that time again it was the time it was just 10:39 they were 9mins late to tell us the prom rules and ect. I was mad at our vice predicable for not .... Doing her job. I was interrupted. " sorry, my BHH highschool I tried to be on time blame the predicable anywhorom rules lets go over them my queens, and Kings. 1.you can't vote for your self..." And she went on and on . "You guys I'm going to totally win this year I mean its in my blood." I say so happily. " you may not I heard this other girl was running as well" Jane said. " and of course there going to run" she says flipping there hair. After school. " ok a week from prom we need to get everything set." I say so excited. " we're going shopping again to day it's like our 7th time this week I'm tried and were supposed to be doing our home work I have a big quiz to get me in AP classes next year......" Jane says confused. " I know I kow AP classes our so boring" I say sting all that. " whatever all about you" Jane whispers. We walk over to Forever 21. " I'm thinking white this year." I say looking at my dress. "How bout this on." Jane points out. " ULGY that think looks like trash put it back." I say walking to the cashier. Taking out my wallet paying for my dress. "I have to go to the restroom wait for me in the car" Jane says walking to the bathroom. "Ok hurry up." I say rolling my eyes. "Here.... I'll like this dress" Jane buys the dress. The same one I said was ULGY. " mother mother what our you doing you look old" I say looking at her doing her yoga. " take the sald and the checkout the rigde for me" she says getting up. " I'm not your made." Walking out the kitchen. "I'm going to Jane's house" *ring dong* " hello who is it"? Jane asked. " me , open the dang door." Jane opens the door. "REALLY YOU JUST WALK IN WHAT IF WE AIN'T BEEN HOME." Jane says angry. " ok ok home girl." I say all calm. " I AM DONE IM JUST DONE FINE ANOTHER PERSON TO BE YOUR SERVENT CAUSE IM DON'T GOOD-bye" ....."there's the door right there." Jane says with a big smile. " wait what but jay." I say tying. " no I'm done I'm tried of being ignored okay it's done our friendship is over." The nex day. " Jane had posters up" I said quietly to my self. " why at you doing this Jane" I yelled in the middle of linch at her table. "You know I wanted to win". I said angry. " see once again princess dont get what she wants... It's not all about you okay think of other people I was scared to tell you that I wanted to run and you know what i bought the duress ima when brat.," Jane says with a evil smile. "How could you." I Say throwing the milk on the floor. "Wow your bad too bad you don't have a "SERVENT any more" is ashame isn't it" Jane says tell her friends to look at my face. I was so mad I could I cloud cry . I ran in the bathroom, and started to cry. " Meagen Joe " a voice said to me . " yes" I said with tears in my eyes. " what's wrong nun thing" she says angry. "I know it's hard but you ain't make people your SERVENT it's not human like" It was prom day . "Aww you look, so bueatiful like your mother and your and your grandma" my mother says. " I hope I win I mean... Prom" my mother smiles and let my hair curse fall. I walked in it was bueatiful I love the theme. " I like " I say loudly. I saw Jane in the dress i called ULGY I must go apoloize I felt bad inside I felt alone so I went over there. " hi I love your dress. " I say to Jane with a smile. " thanks" she says and the contuie s. " im sorry Meagen but I couldn't hole it in you were acting RACHET." " it's ok ( I intruppented) I know and understand what you meant by what you said I was a bum for all I did to you ." I said with a shy smile. " friends " Jane says and we both nood. It was time for the king and queen the winner is ........... JANE....... WILLSONA " you won, you won." I said to her. " OMG I WON" she went up there with a big smile and and said her speech even tho I didn't win doesn't mean it's over yet I still won in my Gand mother and mother heart Text: Janelle Images: Johnson Editing: Janelle Translation: Johnson All rights reserved. Publication Date: November 30th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-jjanelle5

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Tom Castaldi Dear Diary Publication Date: March 22nd 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-tommy15

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Naomi Anderson The Empty Life Copy the content from your text processing program (e.g. Microsoft Word) and paste it here. Every time you add a chapter, a new window opens. So don't worry if you do not see the text from a previous chapter. Chapter 1 Even though there was nothing playing, I still kept headphones in my ears. I wished music was playing, but my iPod had died on the flight back home. They were a good excuse to ignore people who came up to me and tried to talk, I just pretended not to see them. I knew they could see me, it was just a habit for everyone to stare at someone in a uniform. Especially someone who was walking with a noticeable limp and scars covering all over their face. I pushed my way through the crowds and finally made it outside. “Kelby!” a voice screamed. I pulled out my headphones and looked around for the person screaming my name. “Kel!” I saw my twin sister Ada’s hand shoot up in the air, trying to wave me down. I sighed, it was time to face my insane family. It didn’t feel right though, it didn’t seem real. A part of me was happy to be back home, but another part wished I was dead with the rest of them. It wasn’t fair that I was the one who lived, I didn’t deserve it. As I got closer to my sister, I could see the smile fading from her face. “I usually have that effect on people,” I said point blank to Ada. “I’m sorry...I just...” “Don’t be sorry, Ada. I’m used to it now.” “I missed you,” she smiled and held out her arms for a hug. Instinctively I backed away, “I can’t...” She nodded understandingly, then smiled, “Let’s go home!” I followed her into the parking lot and wandered around with her until we came across our car finally. My leg was beginning to hurt more than usual, so I was grateful we could sit down. I closed my eyes and sighed in relief. “Is it bad?” Ada asked, as she started driving the forty five minutes back home. “My leg?” I asked. “Yeah, I guess. I don’t know...everything.” I hesitated. Talking was one of my least favorite things to do since I was rescued. They tried everything to try and get me to talk about what happened, but it was weird. Some of the things that happened to me, I just didn’t know how to put it in words. “Yeah,” I replied finally. The rest of the ride home we were silent. Nothing seemed to have changed much in the past few years, at least not in scenery. I saw a few old friends from high school walking along the street, none of which I was still in contact with. It felt so weird to be going home, without Colin. I still had my family, and for that I was grateful, but I never liked spending much time with them before I was deported, and since the kidnapping, I just liked being alone. I knew my mom was worried sick, I had Skyped with her a few times while I was in the hospital, each of which she cried and begged me to come home. She hadn’t allowed my younger sister, Dakota, to see me during our video chats, because she thought it would be too scary for her to see what I looked like. I didn’t really understand her logic on that one, considering that I would be seeing them both in person, but I didn’t argue. Finally, Ada pulled into our duplex. Collin and I had moved into one side after high school, and Ada moved into the other side a few years later. She helped me bring my bags up to the steps and then unlocked the door for me with her spare key, but I hesitated to go in. “Do you need a minute or should I be here with you?” she asked, holding the door for me. I trudged up the stairs and took a step inside. The smell of pine and apples hit me in the face instantly. “I...I think I need a minute,” I whispered. She nodded then set the bags on the floor and left. My eyes began to sting as tears welled up in them, but I blinked them back. I started wandering around the house, like it was all new to me, even though nothing had changed. Ada had been kind enough to keep it looking nice while we were gone. Finally, I made it to the bedroom. Pictures of Colin and I lined the walls. We looked so happy and in love, it had been so long since we were like that. I took them down one by one and set them in a neat pile on my bed. I grabbed a box from the closet and started putting each on in it carefully, as if breaking them would make the memories of the happiness go away, and I didn’t want that. All I wanted was to not be constantly reminded of what I went through, but I knew that wasn’t possible. My phone rang, distracting me from the sadness that was my new life. “Hello?” I answered. “Kelby!” My younger sister shouted excitedly. “Hey, Dakota.” “What time are you coming over?” she asked. I rubbed the back of my head and sat on the edge of my bed, “I can’t make it tonight, but I’ll try to come tomorrow.” “Oh,” I could hear the disappointment in her voice, “You sure you can’t come tonight?” “Yeah I’m sure...but I’ll try to be there tomorrow.” “Okay, I miss you, Kel,” she said quietly. I paused, “I know. I miss you too. I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Love you!” “You too,” I said half heartedly, then hung up. I set my phone next to me. It had been so long since I had seen Dakota, or anyone for that matter. My team and I had been held captive for five months, we had no contact to anyone during that whole time, except for each other. I was deployed when she was eleven, and only got to see her six times in five years. She had turned sixteen the day I was rescued, but I wasn’t able to talk to her for another three weeks after that. I always felt bad, not being able to help my mom raise her. Ada was still there, but it just didn’t feel right. My dad was killed in combat when Ada and I were twelve, and Dakota was only two. By that time my older brother, Blake was out of the house, and pretty much out of the picture altogether. Mom had to work two shifts at the hospital most of the time, just to afford rent. We got monthly checks from the military because of my dad, but with three kids, it just wasn’t enough. The doorbell rang, and I slowly limped over to it, knowing that Ada was there. I unlocked it and opened it, then walked back into the kitchen and sat down at the table. “Hey, how’s it going?” she asked, setting at least five grocery bags on the counter. I pointed at the bags, “You know Colin isn’t here anymore, right?” She looked at the ground, then sighed sadly, “It’s just a habit, sorry.” “It’s okay,” I forgave her, “I’m still not used to it either...” She started unloading things into the fridge and began making it look like someone actually lived in my house. “You didn’t answer my question,” she said, staring at me intently, “How’s it going?” I wanted to reply with a sarcastic joke, like I would have before everything, but I changed, “It sucks.” She nodded in agreement, “I know Kel, I’m sorry though, I really am.” “Thanks.” She finished putting things away, then sat down across from me. She nervously tapped her fingers on the table to a beat that I recognized, but couldn’t figure it out exactly. “Are you okay?” I asked curiously. “What happened?” she blurted out. I was a little taken back by her question, then pointed to the scars on my face, “You mean this?” She nodded sadly. I knew that she would ask that sooner or later, but truth be told, I didn’t want to answer, or really know how. So many people had asked me that, most of the time I found a way to change the subject, but this was my sister, I couldn’t lie to her. “Honestly?” I asked. She nodded again. After a minute of silence, I finally found the words that I was looking for, “They tried to get me to tell them things...things about the military, and when I wouldn’t, they...well they did this.” “Why didn’t they....kill you like everyone else?” she asked quietly. I had asked myself that question so many times, it had become a constant thought. The answer was still unclear to me though. There was no purpose for them to keep me, or let me go but they still did. Even though I didn’t want to admit it, I think they let me go so I would be in pain without Colin and everyone else. It was just more torture. “I don’t know,” I said, my voice cracking. “I’m glad they didn’t.” “I’m not,” I mumbled, then immediately regretted it. She wrinkled her eyebrows, “What?” I shook my head, “Nevermind.” “Okay...” she said skeptically, “What time do you wanna head over to Mom’s?” “I’m not going.” “Why not?” “Look, I just can’t handle it right now, okay? It’s too much!” She held her hands up in defense, “Okay, okay! Calm down!” I was starting to get angry, but not at Ada. Everything was so fucked up, I couldn’t even be with my family. “I’m gonna go to bed...” I said quietly, then got up and went into my bedroom. It was only eight, but I was pretty exhausted from jet lag, and my pain pills made me drowsy. I pulled out a pair of Colin’s shorts from his dresser and one of his shirts and slipped them on. The bed was already made because of Ada, and I wished I had thanked her, but I could do it later. I slipped under the covers and shut my eyes, trying to fall asleep. I struggled to try and slip out of the rope tying my wrists together. “It’s not going to work,” said a man towering above me. His gun sat nicely in his pocket and a baseball bat dangled from his hand. I was worried about what was going to happen next, but I had to stay strong for my team and for my country. The tape covering my mouth was ripped off by him. It felt like a giant slap in the face, but I swallowed my pain. “What do you want?” I croaked, my throat raw from days of screaming and going without water. “Tell me where your base camp is.” I glared at him as hard as I possibly could, “No fucking way asshole.” His steel toed boot collided with my chest, knocking the wind out of me. Pain radiated through my body and again I swallowed the pain. “Tell me,” he repeated. “Fuck off,” I spat at him. “Fine, have it your way,” he smiled evilly, and raised the bat in the air, then crashed it down on my leg. I heard a crunch then let out an ear shattering scream. Colin lunged at the man, but was held back by the chains on his leg. “Are you going to tell me or should I do the other one too?” he asked, bending down to eye level. I bit my lip so hard that I could taste blood. “Answer me!” His voice echoed through the small room. “Please don’t,” I begged. “If you touch her again...” Colin warned. “What are you going to do? You’re chained up!” The man laughed. “Don’t fucking touch her.” “What you mean like this?” the man grabbed my shattered leg and squeezed it as hard as he could. I shrieked in pain and finally let the tears fall. Colin tried attacking the man again, but the chains held firm. “Kelby,” I felt a hand on my shoulder gently shaking me. I sat up and grabbed the hand, twisting it to the point that I could break it. “Ow! Kel! Let go!” Ada whined. I opened my hand and she pulled her wrist away, “Sorry...what are you doing here?” “I heard you screaming through the walls.” “You stayed here?” I asked, wiping some sweat off my forehead. “No, I heard you over in my place.” I sighed. “Are you okay?” Ada asked, sitting on the edge of my bed. “No.” She moved so she was sitting in the middle of my bed staring at me, “Kel, talk to me. We used to be so close! Please?” I struggled to find any words, “I want to tell you Ada, I do I swear, I just...I can’t...it’s just...I...I can’t.” She reached her hand out and tried to grab mine, but I flinched away like I was in pain. “What did they do to you?” she asked, withdrawing her hand. I smiled internally. Ada was always one to push for the answers she wanted, it was one of the reasons she was such a great lawyer. But as hard as she would try to get answers out of me, she wouldn’t get very far. I wanted like crazy to tell her, but there were so many things that happened to me that I didn’t want anyone to know, not even my own sister. “You don’t have to tell me, but I’d like it if you did,” Ada said sympathetically. “Okay” I said, then grabbed a bottle of pain pills off my side table. I took out four and popped one after another in my mouth. “That seems like a lot Kel, are you sure you aren’t taking too many?” Ada asked, taking the bottle away and reading the little strip of side effects on it. I shrugged. “Have you read the side effects of these?” she asked. I nodded, “The doctor went over all of them when he prescribed them to me. I don’t care.” “You do realize that sudden death is one of them?” I nodded again. Death didn’t bother me as much as it used to, it had become a very repetitive thing in my life. She sighed, “Well if you’re okay with it, enjoy.” I took the bottle back from her and set it on my side table again. I had only been asleep for an hour and a half. The most sleep that I had gotten at one time since I was rescued was three hours. “I’m going to stay on your couch tonight, just to make sure this doesn’t happen again,” Ada said. “Okay. Thanks,” I said, tossing a pillow at her. She smiled then left the room. I sighed, it was going to be a long night. Chapter 2 "Tell me about Colin.” I nervously twirled my engagement ring that I couldn’t bring myself to take off, “He was perfect. I honestly can’t say a bad thing about him. I loved him.” “Loved?” “He’s dead.” “Does that mean that you can’t love him?” I shrugged, “I don’t know.” “Do you still love your father?” “Yes.” “So why not Colin?” “I didn’t say that I don’t love him, I just don’t love him the way that I used to.” “Okay.” “Are we done yet?” “Not quite. Tell me about your sister.” “Which one?” “Ada, she’s your twin, right?” I nodded, “Yeah. I don’t know what to say. We live in the same house, but its a duplex so we don’t technically live together but she’s there if I need her.” “That’s good. Having someone to help you out when you need it, is a good thing. Not everyone has that luxury.” “I wouldn’t really consider it a luxury.” “Well what would you consider it?” I shrugged again. “Now tell me about your other sister, Dakota, right?” “Yeah. Um...well she’s sixteen, I don’t really know what’s going on with her, I haven’t really seen her in since I got shipped out to Iraq. She called me last night.” “What did you two talk about?” “She just wanted to know when I was coming home, but she sounded pretty disappointed when I told her I wasn’t.” “Why didn’t you want to go home?” “I was tired. It was a lot to deal with in one day.” She nodded, “Yes it was, but you handled it well.” “Thanks.” “Well, I think that’s about enough for today don’t you?” “Yeah, I guess.” She smiled and stood up, leading me to the door, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Kelby.” “Okay. Thanks Dr. Reid.” “No problem dear. Bye Ada!” she waved at my sister who was sitting awkwardly on the bench outside her office. Ada smiled and stood up, “Thank you!” I started slowly walking to the car, knowing that Ada would take a few minutes to talk to Dr. Reid about my session. When I got outside, I leaned against the car and took a deep breath. I hated talking to Dr. Reid so much, but in a way it kind of helped me. I wanted someone to know what happened, but without me having to talk about it. She wasn’t as pushy as everyone else, and I really appreciated that about her. “Kelby!” a voice yelled. I turned my head and saw a slim figure rushing towards me. I tried backing away, but somehow I forgot there was a car behind me. As the person got closer, I realized it was my friend from high school, Nicole. A smile formed across her face as she approached me, “I can’t believe you’re back!” I nodded, “Me either.” “I’m so sorry about Colin...” she said sadly. “Me too.” We stood in awkward silence for a minute, and then Ada came outside. “Hey Nicole,” she smiled and gave her a quick hug. Ada and Nicole had been close friends since freshman year, but the two of us were never very close. We kind of just tolerated each other until Colin came along. “How long have you been back, Kelby?” Nicole asked turning towards me. “Since last night.” She half smiled, “Well I’m glad you’re back.” I nodded and gave Ada a look, telling her that I wanted to get the hell out of there. “Well, call me later, okay?” Ada said to Nicole, giving her another hug then unlocking the car for me. I jumped in as quickly as possible and rested my head against the window. The last thing that I wanted was for people to see me, let alone at the therapist. "How was it? Ada asked as she got in the car. "Hmm?" "Therapy. How was it?" "Oh," I shrugged, "Fine I guess." She nodded, "Good, as long as it helps you get back to normal." I sighed, "I'm never going to be the same person that I was, Ada." "I know, but I can still hope right?” “I think it would be best if you just didn’t,” I muttered, buckling the seat belt. “As long as you’re back, I don’t really care,” she smiled, then started driving. The roads quickly turned to gravel and trees began to surround our car. I leaned my head back against the headrest and stared up through the sunroof, watching as light shone through the tunnel that the trees made. It was almost as if there were little spotlights on different things. “Where are we going?” I asked nervously. “Home,” she replied, as if it were a stupid question. “Ada, we live in town.” “We’re going to Mom’s today. Remember?” “Right now?” She slowed down and pulled the car over to the side of the road, “Why are you so scared of seeing your family?” I shook my head, “I don’t know...” She gently touched my hand with hers, but I pulled mine away. Ada sighed, “I’m not going to hurt you, you know that right?” I nodded, feeling my eyes start to sting from the tears that were forming, “I’m sorry.” “Don’t apologize! Kel its fine, I’m just worried about you. I want things to be back to the way we were, and before you say that we can’t, maybe we can.” I stared out the window, avoiding eye contact, “Okay.” After a few seconds, she started driving again. I was hoping that it would take us a long time to get back home, but it was only a few more minutes. She turned into the driveway and I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach. I didn’t know why I was so nervous, it wasn’t like my mom and I had left on bad terms or anything. “Ready?” Ada asked as she turned off the car. “No.” Before I was able to beg Ada to take me back to my real home, Dakota rounded the corner, one of the biggest smiles that I had ever seen just plastered to her face. Her light brown hair was cut much shorter than I remembered and her skin was pale, almost sickly. Her height hadn’t changed much, she was still about 5’ 2”, but she just seemed really small, fragile even. Ada stepped out of the car and gave her a hug and kissed her gently on the top of her head. “How are you?” Ada asked quietly. “Fine,” Dakota smiled. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car too. “Kelby...” Dakota whispered, walking up to me. I half smiled, “Hey.” “Oh my god...” she wrapped her arms around my stomach tightly, but I didn’t want to push her off. Ada looked at me nervously, as if asking if I was okay. I nodded, then hugged Dakota back. It felt right, to be back. She was my family, and I missed her like crazy. “Kelby!” I looked up and saw my mom standing by Ada. Dakota slowly pushed herself off of me and lead me over to our mom. “Hi,” I said nervously. Tears exploded out of her eyes and she attacked me with a hug. I had to fight my impulse to push her off, but after a few seconds, I couldn’t hold it any longer and pushed her away by the shoulders. “I...I’m so sor...” She smiled softly, “Don’t be. Come inside!” I followed all three of them into the house. On the table were mountains of food, and a little banner that said ‘Welcome Home!’ hanging on the wall next to it. In the center of the table was a small picture frame, with a picture of Colin and I, seconds after our engagement. I stared at the picture, then my mom who was just glowing with pride. “I thought you weren’t going to put that up,” Ada said irritatedly. “You don’t like it?” Mom asked, facing me. “No, I mean...it’s fine,” I stuttered. “You sure?” Ada asked. I nodded. As happy as I was to be back home with my family, it still felt unfair that I was the only one able to make it out alive, and I couldn’t stop thinking about everyone that died. It was my fault, and nothing would ever be the same. I watched Colin die along with my best friend, and I didn’t do anything about it. Ada nudged my side, “I know what you’re thinking. Stop it.” “Sorry,” I whispered under my breath. There was a few minutes of awkward silence between the four of us. I could see Mom looking me over, up and down like I was a different person. In some ways I was, but I was hoping that once I was home, people wouldn’t see me like that. “So...” Dakota said, quietly clearing her throat. Mom laughed sheepishly, “I’m glad you’re home Kelby.” I was really getting tired of people saying that, but because it was my mom I just gave her one of my best fake smiles. “Are you girls hungry? I made your favorites,” Mom said. Ada and Dakota nodded so I played along and nodded too. “Well what are we waiting for? Let’s eat!” We all sat down at our usual spots at the table, leaving Dad’s seat and our brother Blake’s empty. Mom reached for Ada’s hand, Ada reached for Dakota's, and she reached for mine. “Let’s pray,” Mom said softly, “ God, we thank you for this food. For rest and home and all things good. For wind and rain and sun above. But most of all for those we love.” During my time in Iraq, I couldn’t help but lose all faith in God. I was born and raised into a Catholic family, but after my father died I began to question everything about God and Heaven and Hell. None of it made sense to me until I was kidnapped. It was then that I knew I was in hell, and even though it seemed like I wasn’t anymore, I still was. Images of gooey, dark red blood covering dead bodies and everything else in sight ran through my mind non stop. “You okay, Kel?” Dakota asked as she passed around a tray full of pre-made sandwiches. I nodded and gave her a weak smile, “Yeah.” After a few minutes my plate was filled with food as was everyone elses. I watched my sisters as they began to plow away all their food on their plates and my mom just picking away at hers. A few minutes later mine still sat there untouched. “Excuse me,” I said, standing up and rushing to the bathroom. Once I got there I just stared at myself in the mirror. Despite all the nasty scars and bags under my eyes, I still seemed the same. I was still Kelby. But I wasn’t. Everyone wanted me to be, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t. I didn’t even want to be a part of my own family because I felt like such an outcast. They said they still loved me, but they would all tense up when I was around and I knew why. I wasn’t stupid, it wasn’t hard to figure out. I was weird, different, and I didn’t fit into their normal lives anymore, and honestly, I didn’t care. Chapter 3 Yay chapter 3 is finally over! This took so long for me to write! I got really busy with school the past few weeks and I didn't have a lot of down time between that and work. But here is chapter 3! :) I hope you enjoy it! Comment vote whatever :p   -Naomi “So how was your visit at your Mom’s?”  “It wasn’t as bad as I was expecting.”  “That’s good!”  “Yeah."  “You saw your sister? Dakota right?”  “Yeah.” “How’s she doing?” “Good, I think. I don’t know, she looked kinda sick, but it was nice to finally see her.” “When was the last time you two saw each other?” “Two and a half years ago, but I was only home for like three days. I feel like I missed out on her entire childhood.” “But you’re back now.”  “I know.” “Having your family around is going to help you get back to your normal self, or as close to it as you can get.” “It isn’t my entire family.” “Well, Colin isn’t coming back, Kelby, and neither is your father. But just because they aren’t physically there, it doesn’t mean that your family isn’t complete.” “Blake is never around either.” “Blake?” “He’s my older brother.” “How old is he?” “I think he’s like thirty-six or something.” “Have you talked at all since you were rescued?” “He sent some flowers and a card. Ada tried to call him a few times but he never answered. Mom says he’s coming to town in a few weeks.  “What does he do?” “I have no idea. We kinda lost touch after Dad died. Something with the Army.” “Is your whole family a part of the Army?” “Blake and I were the only ones who went into it after dad. Ada is a lawyer and my mom just stays at home with Dakota.” “What motivated you to join?” “My dad. I never really wanted to do much else.” “How did your mom react when he went into the army?” “I don’t remember, to be honest.” “What about when you went in?” “She was really pissed. Ada said she kind of lost it for a while. She didn’t even talk to me until two years after I was enlisted.” “What made her talk to you again?” “I begged her to talk to me. It was the first time that I actually needed my mom since I got shipped over to Iraq.  “What took you so long?” “I don’t know, I just needed someone to talk to other than my sister and Colin." “It’s good that you recognized that, most people don’t.” I nodded, not knowing what else to say as Dr. Reid took notes in her little book. After a minute of silence she looked up at me, as if she was waiting for me to say something but I stayed silent. “How did you sleep last night?”  I sighed. The entire time I was hoping that she wouldn’t bring that up.  “Kelby?” “Um...same as usual.” “How long were you asleep before the nightmare?” “About an hour.” “Thats shorter than usual.” “Mhhm.” “What was this one about?” “Amy.” “Will you explain it to me?”  I scratched my head, “Amy collapsed next to me and our Sergeant told everyone to get moving while he stayed back to try and get her up but I refused to leave. Then next thing I know he’s dead too and there’s a gun pointed to my head. We wandered around looking for people for a while but they had already been captured. There were only eight of us left at that point.” “Did you ever get back to sleep?” I shook my head, “After I woke up I started stressing about physical therapy.” Dr. Reid looked up at the clock above the door, “Oh crap! I forgot about that, I’ll walk you down, if that’s okay with you?” I nodded, thankful to leave, but worried about going to my first session of physical therapy. So much therapy! Ada sat outside the door as usual, typing away on her computer. She didn’t even notice we had came out of the room until the door slammed shut. “Jesus Christ!” she yelled as she jumped in fear. “I have physical therapy, remember?” I asked flatly. She looked at her watch, “That was supposed to start fifteen minutes ago, Kel.” I nodded, pleased that the session would be shorter than intended because of Dr. Reid. “It was my fault Ada,” Dr. Reid admitted, “I’ll walk you two down there.” Ada gathered her things and walked alongside Dr. Reid while I followed, trying to stay at least a few yards behind them. Every once and awhile Ada would peek back at me to see if I was still there, and I would just stare at the ground until she turned back around to continue her conversation. After many twists and turns around the hospital and one very awkward elevator ride, Dr. Reid dropped us off at the physical therapy station then left with a quick goodbye. “Hi,” said an overly cheery lady at the front desk. I stood at the counter with Ada. Both of them were waiting for me to stay something, but I just stared at the ground, hoping that I could just leave. Ada cleared her throat, “She’s here for her physical therapy session.” Thank you captain fucking obvious. “Name?” asked the lady. Ada glared at me until I answered the lady. “Kelby Summers,” I muttered quietly. “I’ll go get your papers,” she smiled, then walked into the back of the little room she was in. “Why are you so nervous?” Ada asked, turning to face me. “Because I am.” She sighed, clearly sick of my attitude. “Kelby, this is going to help you,” she stated, “I mean you can barely walk.” I nodded, “I know.” The lady came back with a few papers in her hand, her smile even bigger than before. “If you could fill these out and then bring them back to me, that would be great,” she said handing them over with a pen. I nodded and walked over to the waiting area. There was a little boy sitting in one corner playing on his mother's phone while she watched nervously over him. Other than them there was only one other person. He was wearing a dark hoodie and sweatpants, much like me. He had a pair of Beats around his ears and he had his head leaned back against the wall as he quickly tapped his foot to the music. I sat as far away from everyone as I possibly could and began to fill out to forms. Ada had gotten her laptop out the second she had sat down. “What are you working on?” I asked her. “Hmm?”  “What are you working on?” "What do you mean?” she asked, not even glancing up from her computer. I sighed, “Never mind.” A few minutes later I was finished with the forms, but I was too scared to go up to the counter by myself. I felt like a fucking five year old. Everyone and everything they did scared me, I wasn’t sure what would happen to me. Anybody could be out to hurt me but I wouldn’t be able to tell. The old me would just laugh at my foolishness, but the new me was just terrified. There was just no other way to put it. “Ada,” I whispered. “Hmm?” she repeated. “I can’t do this...” She looked up from her computer, “What?” My hand was shaking as I showed her the papers. “Do you want me to give them to her?” she asked. I nodded, then paused, “No...I mean yes. But...I want...” She took the papers gently from my hands and walked up to the counter and started to talk quietly with the lady. She stayed there for a few minutes, most likely discussing me. She gave me a gentle smile as she sat back down next to me a few minutes later. “I told her that you have some issues with people,” she said answering my question before I even asked it. “Thanks,” I breathed. She smiled then went back to work. Half an hour later the lady and her son went in for their appointment. My heart started to beat faster and faster as time kept moving, inching me closer to my appointment. Ada would take breaks from her work to make sure I wasn’t freaking out too much but I couldn’t help it. “Kelby Summers?” a short pudgy woman called.    I looked up at her with fear in my eyes. Ada stood up and gathered all of her things. She stared at me, waiting for me to get up with her, “You can do this, come on,” she whispered. As I slowly stood up, the lady motioned for us to follow her. She lead us back into an exam room with a hospital bed in an upright position and a few machines and chairs. “If you could just have a seat, the doctor will be in here shortly,” said the nurse. I nodded and sighed in relief when she left. “You okay?” Ada asked, setting her things on a chair. “Mhhm. All of this seems really excessive though,” I groaned, trying to push myself onto the bed. “Want me to help?” she asked when she noticed me struggling. I shook my head and just stayed standing. After a few minutes of awkward silence there was a quiet knock on the door, followed by a very tall, young man coming in. He had jet black hair that was gelled slightly at the top and a small beard. Even underneath his lab coat his muscles were still visible. “Hi,” he smiled, “I’m Dr. James Walter, you must be Kelly?” “Kelby,” I corrected him. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I get it a lot.” “Well now I know better,” he smiled again, then turned to Ada, “And you are?” She stuck out her hand for him to shake, “I’m her sister Ada.” “It’s a pleasure to meet you both. I apologize if I get you two confused," he chuckled, referring to the fact that we were twins.  He sat down at the computer in the corner of the room and began scrolling through my medical history.  "How has your leg been feeling today Kelby?”  “It hurts,” I said, deciding there was no point in lying to him.  “Can you get up onto the bed?” he asked, turning in his swivel chair to face me. I shamefully shook my head, embarrassed that I couldn’t do such a simple task. He stood up and pulled out a little step from the bed.  “How about now?” he asked. I slowly got onto the step and pushed myself onto the bed, wincing in pain. “It’s really bad,” I groaned. He nodded, “Well lets see if we can fix that. Can you roll up your pant leg?” I looked nervously at him, then at Ada. The only people who had seen my leg since the accident were the doctors that took care of me when I was rescued. I was ashamed of the scars that covered my leg. The two of them stared at me, waiting for something to happen but I just sat there nervously. “I can leave if you want me to,” Ada offered. I nodded, “I’m sorry.” She stood up, “It’s okay Kel. I’ll just wait outside the door incase you need me, okay?” I nodded again, “Thank you.” She smiled at Dr. James and I, then left. As soon as I was sure that she was gone I began slowly rolling up my sweatpants. The moment I saw the first scar on my shin I could feel tears come to my eyes. It took everything that I had not to let them out. “You can stop there if you want,” Dr. James said when I got to mid-thigh. “Okay,” I leaned back against the bed. I closed my eyes tightly as he began to examine my leg. “Let me know if this is hurting you.” “Okay.” My eyes could barely stay open, but even when they were everything was blurry. I was tired, sore and hungry. A layer of sweat covered my body as well as lots blood, but it wasn't all mine  A body was laying next to mine, but I couldn't tell who it was. I was pretty sure that it was Karl, one of Colin's friends. I tried to pretend that he was still alive and breathing, but even in the low light I could tell that he wasn't moving. So could Colin. "Just try not to look at him," Colin said softly. "I'm trying," I said, slurring my words together. "Hey, Kel, look at me." I slowly turned my head so I was facing him. "You and I are going to be fine. We're going home soon. I promise, okay baby?" "How the hell are we going to get out of here? I'm pretty sure you and I are the only ones left."' "We will be fine. As soon as we get out of here we're going to get married and start our lives over and just forget all of this," he said sternly. I loved that about him. He always tried to stay positive. Unfortunately, I wasn't the same. We were going to die. The giant cement door that blocked us from our freedom opened for a brief second, light flowing in. I was still looking at Colin when the light appeared. His eyes were as blue as ever, but full of pain and fear.  As quickly as the door opened it closed again, and a large figure appeared. I knew who it was, even though I didn’t really know him. He was the only one allowed to come into the room, usually to kill someone, or take out a body. The same bat that he used to crush my leg was dangling from his hand, as well as a gun from his other. He walked over to Karl’s body, purposely kicking my broken leg on his way there. I bit my lip so hard to keep my screams in that I felt blood begin to trickle down my chin. “It doesn’t hurt anymore?” asked the man smugly.  I stared at the ground, not allowing myself to look him in the eye. “Does it?” he yelled, “Answer me!” I shook my head no. He kicked my leg as hard as he possibly could. This time I couldn’t keep my them in. Pain exploded from my leg into the rest of my body, making it impossible for me to move any part of my body. I felt stiff and frozen, but my body was burning. My shrill screams echoed throughout the small room. They just wouldn’t stop. “Kelby!” I opened my eyes and saw Ada and two other nurses holding my flailing arms and legs down to the table. “Don’t scream, you’re okay,” a nurse in purple scrubs said softly as she let go of my arm and motioned for the other nurse and Ada to follow her actions. The bright lights of the hospital room confused me. It all felt so real, like I really was back in Iraq with Colin. He was still alive one second, but then he wasn’t. “You can leave now. Thanks,” whispered the nurse in purple scrubs to the other one.  She waited for her to leave to start talking, “Are you taking anything for these anxiety attacks?”  I shook my head no. “This is the third one since she got home the other day,” Ada said as she sat on the edge of the hospital bed. “Okay, well we’re going to prescribe some meds for you and...” “I need to go,” I mumbled, sliding off the bed and rushing out of the room as fast as I could. I turned down a long hallway and then onto another, and another until I reached two big doors. I tried continuously  to open them, but they were locked. “Shit!” I grumbled, my voice echoing throughout the cement walls. I leaned back against the wall and slowly slid down onto the floor. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and commenced to go through the pictures of Colin and I. The happiness that was attached to our faces was gone. Tears flooded over my eyes and onto my cheeks. The pain was so real, so agonizing, so intense. All I wanted was to hear his voice again, to just look into his eyes one last time and tell him that I loved him. My life was so empty without him there. I needed him to help me make it through and get back to who I was.           Publication Date: March 7th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-astronemo

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natalie grace my diary (1 of the many I ignore. I’ve had to go to Whole Foods shopping early in the morning, to avoid being stalked and trolled by her, her connections, and whomever she intertwined. She has told checkers and her mother in law, to not talk to me, because my confidence cowers her and others. They’re women, so…Well, you know how it goes. Don’t you?) Not too long ago, I had one of those dreams… I guess this is my diary About two weeks ago my mom found my diary. I had hid it in my bathroom closet because I didn’t want my cousins to find it in my room when they came over. I totally forgot I put it there until I came home from school one day and she sat me down to talk. She had read it. She told me she knew it was my diary but she decided to read it anyway because she felt like she was called to…whatever the fuck that means. It sounds more like her excuse for invading my privacy. She read all of my rants complaining about her and my dad and finally found out about my struggle with depression. She was surprised that I felt such a hatred for my dad but attributed it to me being a teenager. She also brushed off my depression and basically said I’ll get over it. She also found out about all the things I hide from them. Like the music I listen to, movies I watch, friends I hang out with, clothes I wear when they’re not around. I live in a very conservative and religious household. The rules are very strict and most of the time backed by some vague verse in the Bible. My parents’ rules ultimately led to me falling away from my faith and hating them for being so constricting. The main thing that she found about, though, is that I watch porn. That was what made her want to sit me down and talk. She said she would have otherwise ignored what she read and not told anyone. But now she knows about the porn. She said God called her to my journal so that she can stop me from sinning. It’s not even that bad. It’s not like I’m addicted or watch it constantly. Just sometimes when I feel especially depressed or alone. But now she thinks I have a problem. Again with the religion. Watching porn and masturbating is a big no-no in the Christian world. She told me I’m going to ruin my sex life because I won’t be turned on by normal people anymore because I’m so used to porn. She also said I’m more likely to have sex before marriage. She still believes I’m abstinent. Of course she would. Why would she think differently? I mean, I haven’t had sex but I definitely don’t want to wait until marriage. Anyways, now I feel like I can’t trust anyone in my house. She isn’t going to tell my dad due to the fact that he’ll freak out and I’ll probably be sent to a secluded all girls boarding school in the mountains. No, he wouldn’t do that. Then I’d be too far away for him to control me. So now I guess this is my new diary. my story   its 12/06/16, and yes I’m still feeling pretty low. My work isn’t too bad anymore, Tension in the kitchen could be a lot worse.  I still feel like crap though. I’ve had a migraine for the past two weeks and I have to wait till Wednesday to get my blood test results so hopefully it will shed some light on the whole situation.  A lot of people think its a stress related thing, I mean it could be but at the same time I don’t feel anywhere near as stressed as I have been in the past, and I never had headaches then. My dad recons its my iron levels, which sucks because ill end up taking iron tablets for the next 3 months. I do want to get it sorted though. I think about Suicide so much at the moment. It seems like such a good way of leaving my problems. I hate my life, not that there’s much wrong with it, I just hate it. I’ve lost the will to self harm it just seems pointless now, it doesn’t hurt anymore its more of a boredom thing.  watched a program last night called ‘flowers’ it was a 5 part drama kind of thing. It was really good though didn’t half make me think about my own situation. The story was about a family called the flowers. The father of the family tried to commit suicide, but failed and his mother saw him do it. She lived with them too. His mother was old and couldn’t walk very well, she tried to get rid of the rope he used to try and hang himself with. But when she was trying to put it in the loft she fell and passed away. The father ‘Maurice’ couldn’t forgive himself as he thought it was all his fault. The rest of the program was showing how he was dealing with depression and how he overcame it, but I don’t feel like ill ever be truly happy and overcome my sadness.   they found my diary under the bed   They found his diary under the bed. I was so angry when he left. He’d gone without a word of goodbye.  Why?  What had I done to deserve such a cold brush-off? I pretended that I didn’t care.  Fine, just leave.  He wasn’t the first who’d left me. There had been others. I looked back at those very short months, the timeline of our whole story. He’d wanted to go all the way. I wasn’t ready. He got mad and left. That was it. I’d seen him one night with her. Who was that other girl? I didn’t know. I didn’t want to. I didn’t care. The owner of the inn where he used to stay called out to me that morning. I lived nearby, so that old man must have seen him and I together a couple of times. “He left this for you.” I received that book from the inn owner. “We found his diary under the bed.” I went back to my room with his diary. I sat down and opened it. The pages struck me speechless. My tears started. God, I hate him even more! The last page. There was a picture of us, laughing at each other, one night in the crowd of (my) friends. I forgot who’d taken it. There was his handwriting below: “Remember us this way…” dear future boyfriend   Dear Future Boyfriend, Where on earth are you now? When will I meet you? I didn’t have any problems about being single, but then, earlier (more like everyday), I saw my best friend’s older brother going into his girlfriend’s classroom after classes to help carry his girlfriend’s bags. I kind of felt lonely and alone during that moment. And I somehow…pity myself for loving guys who are only in pop fiction pocket books.   I should be making my speech for Gavel Club tomorrow…instead, I’m doing this. Oh God. I got inspired to have an online journal like this because of the book I borrowed during the Teachers’ Day program earlier, entitled “Dear Future Boyfriend”. I hope I meet you soon!       Love,   natalie grace too lazy   Dear Diary, O M G (I’m too lazy to change fonts rn hehe so sorry) (So that’s what you’ll see in your ask.fm feed if you were be, haha.) It hurts so bad, but it feels so good~ yeah~ This is SO WRONG. This is VEEERRY wrong. But it feels DAMN RIGHT. Still, in the eyes of the people, IT IS SO WRONG. I feel like I shouldn’t have talked to ‘him’ in the first place! >.< But if I didn’t talk to him, he wouldn’t notice my presence even just as a fan or follower! I whole-heartedly thank the creators of ask.fm   Thank you ppl for creating such app where you can talk to humans you like without them knowing you  Publication Date: January 22nd 2018 https://www.bookrix.com/-ik3d6bbe03382a5

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Claire Drowley best friends will all ways be there for you I love my Best Friends This book is dedicated to Marlee and Macee and Casey! :) Editing: Mom Translation: Mom Publication Date: March 9th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-speekle1