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my throat is always closed up and today it feel like someone ha their hand on my neck i get burning skin and twitch in my eye and so many other thing it make the mental battle that i go through 0 time harder i wish i could have a day off

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just realized that urdu word for depression is dil shakistagi the defeat of heart the feeling that whatever war you were fighting for sanity are lost your wall are broken and now you need a rescue whoever coined it really knew what it felt like

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yay it s time to fuck depressed depressed adjective low in spirit sad especially affected by psychological depression vertically flattened having the central part lower than the margin http t co pldmsm zxz

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i need someone to calm me down i have a stutter and a couple day ago my best friend friend wa making fun of somebody with a stutter cause he s not aware i have one ever since then i realized how easy it is for people to talk behind people s back ever since then i ve wondered if anyone make fun of behind my back and i ve been taking individual people asking myself do i think they d make fun of me on one of my post regarding this someone said they went through this and ended up getting psychosis and paranoia that s one of my biggest fear and a i read that i almost had a panic attack and that wa like 0 minute ago and i still have that panic attack feeling and my vision feel very messed up and fuzzy like how a panic attack would be i m terrified this mean i m going crazy and i can t shake this feeling now that i m scared it mean i m going crazy i m thinking about it more i know anyone can be made fun of and i m no different am i going crazy i didn t have any ocd fear a this thought popped up it s only now since someone commented that and i m so freaked out can anyone help

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i have been suffering from an eating disorder anorexia anorexia nervosa since i wa yo i m in my early 0 now about a month ago i had an issue with my chinese takeout that heighten not only my ed but my anxiety level too i constantly fear that everything i eat will cause stomach ache or make me sick so i m cautious to eat anything anymore i have slowly been on the road to recovery with my ed so this made me take step back rather than moving forward it ha also caused me to lose sleep at night and when i do end up sleeping i wake up with awful anxiety my anxiety ha been overwhelming because a day doe not go by where i m not excessively panicking i can t even go out of my house without breaking down it is so bad that i only ever feel safe in my own room i feel like i m trapped in this on going cycle with no kind of exit i am desperate to find a solution to my problem but therapy ha not worked for me nor medication i have no idea what i need to do to better my food anxiety and general anxiety i do my absolute best to not think about it all of my issue but it s so damn hard when my body say otherwise ha anyone suffered from this did you find anything that helped alleviate your anxiety or ed any helpful advice is welcome

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bout to take my dog for a walk kinda tired aswell went training this morning

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i never had illusion of grandeur growing up i had a pretty low bar for what itd take to make me happy

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kwesidei not the whole crew

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boagworld the profile picture make a happy return i think i need a new promo picture

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i got a new job two week ago it s going amazingly i m a cashier at a retail store before this job i mainly did stocking in retail but i needed a job and they didn t have another position open everyone there is fantastic and it s fully staffed unlike a ton of other retail job i ve had i feel really comfortable already they even asked if i wanted to be a supervisor so quickly because of how well i ve taken to it a downside would be that i don t love being a cashier you re kinda chained to a little spot and have to interact with hundred of people daily but i m managing i m also used to heavy physical exercise at work which i no longer have however i adore the people at the front end and have been invited to a hangout with them i m super extroverted but i m not used to this level of constant interaction however i m well liked by staff and customer in the moment through out the day for most part i feel safe and comfortable however once i leave is a different story i ve always been an extremely anxious person cripplingly so at work i can get overwhelmed but i m always able to soothe myself i don t usually freak out though once i get off i feel a wave of anxiety i immediately feel tense driving home i had a panic attack yesterday on the drive home to the point that i wa hyperventilating i can t seem to get myself to relax i go into fight or flight then my brain will search for literally anything to be worried about covid cancer my boyfriend leaving me my physical appearance declining i end up staying up all night worrying and freaking out i can t get myself out of the thought loop i begin to feel terror and existential dread yes this happened before i worked this job but it s worse now i can t get myself back down from it why is this happening any tip to bring myself in the moment after work

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stuck at home

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so i literally have barely any success in making friend i make friend we get close then they disappear from my life i m in uni now trying to make friend i have a small nice friend group i get invited to some of the hangout etc but i constantly feel like there is tension between me and a few people like a if they hate me i made a friend last year now she barely talk to me and i genuinely think she hate me to add i m not a sexual person at all so i never made advance with any of those friend if anything i try to avoid physical contact because of constant anxiety of making people uncomfortable i also have low self esteem which is pretty clear but i really feel sad about having people not like me i mean some people always get text and are friend with so many people eventhough theyre barely more social than i am i genuinely don t understand my problem amp x 00b tldr how to make people like you a a friend how to stop thinking everyone hate you

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torturedlady yea ma naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam marwan accent lol

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even a four day week seems too long i want to stay in bed

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mizzzidc u deserve that depression truly

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i have no idea if this is anxiety but this is the reason why im asking lately i ve been extremely overthinking the most smallest thing and worrying about the most thing that i ve been overthinking about this happens throughout the day and disrupts my life it s even disrupting me whilst i m typing i worry and overthink thing that could cause health problem but the thing are sooo small i ve wasted so many food thinking this could be dangerous i know it sound stupid because i can barely even explain it it s taking a toll on me but i know that the other day when i got outside the house i wasn t thinking about it and i felt better but then when i got back to the house and started up again i just know i keep overthinking and worrying about the smallest thing health related i can t tell you the amount of time that i ve been back and forth to the doctor this year and last year worrying myself

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shantelleb so ha mine

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stress i love it like it bliss stress is so fun not but it want to give a kiss that s no lie stress can fry your mind up and that shit can piss but i still try to deal with all the pain and misery it give stress stress oh yes in this world it life rat race or cop chase stress can help or it can make you feel like crap and that isn t cap but stress can make you lose your mind or put mind in a trap

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the only time i enjoy this life is when i m next to my laptop but i cant stare at it for ever i m always uncomfortable outside my room it s the only safe place i have been told to face reality many time before and when i do i always end up worrying others with my mental state so this time i think i ll face reality head first and i m sure some of them will be sad i know people care for me but i don t care about myself but i care them so by doing this im just helping them long term right im sorry for hurting confusing etc others i never meant to

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wish i wa on the spring fling tour with dawn amp neecee sigh g knight

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i often hold myself back from doing the thing i want to do because i don t feel like i meet the bare minimum standard to have realistic prospect for success what should i do to overcome this for instance i would love to be able to have a job earn money and be self sufficient i lost three job over the course of three month from 0 0 and i wound up in a deep depression from which i ve been trying to crawl out of ever since i later realized that i have adhd pi which explains nearly every factor that contributed to my past underperformance i wa often late for work i called in sick when i couldn t get out of bed i wa slow at my job etc i didn t realize that the issue i had were outgrowth of executive dysfunction and once i realized i had adhd everything suddenly made sense i had always been told and in fact came to believe that i wa just lazy that my lack of success wa my attitude towards work and it wa a simple a that but no it s not actually so simple even so i feel like i need to be 00 confident that it s under control before i attempt to re enter the workforce here s why i view being hired for any job a a promise on your part when you accept a position you are implicitly agreeing that you will be consistently hard working focused and reliable by consistently i mean at least 99 of the time everyone ha the occasional bad day where they underperform but to be a good employee this need to be a rare occurrence no more than maybe once every six month or so at the absolute most you need to be on time you need to be consistently applying yourself to the extent where you re feeling exhausted by the day s end and you need to be making a sustained effort to be living up to and preferably exceeding the expectation that are set out for you by your employer in short you either make a full commitment or you don t in my opinion if you apply for a job and accept a position knowing full well that you re going to struggle with thing a basic a punctuality or worker engagement it is disingenuous for you to even send in an application in the first place another example at year old i have never gone out on a single actual date with a woman let alone anything beyond that it just feel futile for me to even ask a woman out i find it unrealistic to think that a woman would find me physically or romantically attractive i feel like in order to date someone you have to be their equal by most metric equally attractive equally successful etc at the very least you have to fulfill some basic criterion be employed full time have a driver s license own a car be adept at handling social situation take good care of your body and your appearance maintain a consistently clean and orderly living space etc similar to employment asking somebody out feel like yet another unspoken agreement in doing so you are effectively conveying that you have your life together are able to keep it together on a consistent basis for the foreseeable future and want to get to know them on an intimate level once again you either make a full commitment or you do not if you can t give it 00 on a consistent basis then don t waste their time there are other thing that hold me back from dating another factor is that i m terrified of inadvertently going about it in an inappropriate manner e g wrong place wrong time misreading signal and making her uncomfortable with my overture then there s the fact that i m asexual and probably wouldn t have a high enough libido to satisfy most woman on a frequent enough basis but the main reason is the fact that i don t think i am capable of making a full commitment in my mind it s all or nothing i guess the long and short of it is that i don t apply for work ask woman out or do much of anything with my life because i don t think i m good enough i m not worthy i doubt my capability a being on the same level a everyone else and i don t want to pretend like i am capable of maintaining the kind of commitment that most people are able to make

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idk anymore i m just tired

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hi twiitters i ammm sooooo tired right nowwww falling asleep on msn i am thinking a le lazy day today p xx

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not to include too much gross info but she had blood in the toilet she teleconferenced with her doc who ordered a colonoscopy not sure if anyone with a medical background is reading this but if so could it be anything else the doc said it may be polyp one thing she left out wa that she had noticed narrower stool which i read is a sign of colon cancer i m just trying to put my mind at a bit of ease

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when all you can feel is you re failing at everything failure failure failure so you give up and you attempt to end it all and even fail at that how am i supposed to feel then

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i went to a friend wedding with my boyfriend today and had a pretty bad episode we walked into the venue and i felt fine ten minute later i m having a panic attack in the bathroom i wa mute the entire time disassociating i couldn t eat i had so much anxiety we had to leave early amp i just felt so embarrassed my bf is very supportive and understanding but i still feel guilty and burdensome i wish i didn t get hit so hard by the low

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i am home missing my baby busy week ahead fri is a chill day with my guy and kid egg hunt sat spiral and dmb sat night and easter

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so four year ago i met this guy online we hung out quite a bit from october 0 until may 0 9 we hung out almost every single day so in a nutshell he had a problem with drug and mental health issue and went to jail in june 0 9 he ended up being sentenced to three year in a mental hospital from online court record i knew he wa getting released this month about two week ago i looked at his facebook and he had like 0 more friend than the last time i looked i also noticed he had commented on someone s status anyway he posted his new number on there a couple day ago i thought about texting him but i don t know if i should i would really like to see him again but my sister is telling me to stay away from him i m not friend with him on facebook i only knew the guy for a year so maybe he won t even remember me what do you think

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amp usually get anxious excited expectant whenever they pick up their phone to refresh their page for new content it often lead to depression amp anxiety disorder

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i know how to get out it start with anger first then thinking ton of thinking think my way out of my own jail cell of the mind i m breaking out of here depression is a holding cell i don t wish on anyone

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my lung and chest feel so weak for the last month i feel like i m not breathing properly and exercise make it worse the doctor have done load of test ecg x ray tube of blood everything came back normal and fine please help it s everyday and i feel like i m dying

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slessard but but but i wan na listen to the master too

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jpiasentin same but unfortunately i have to pack now

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i don t remember the last time i wa really able to open up to someone every time i do it seems like i just make them uncomfortable or i get ignored so i ve just stopped i can t even open up to my therapist like i want to and it seems like she want nothing to do with me anymore i ve ghosted almost all of my friend at this point which i don t regret they constantly left me out of thing stood me up and were in general kind of shit friend i want to connect to other people but there s something wrong with me and i can t figure out what

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finally going to sleep and waking up early to study

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ah i hate flu now it third day guess what happened accidently i shaved my eye brow off i need glass

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i m sick of living the world is going to shit depression is ruining my life no one want to help why is it bad that i want to kill myself i think i should be able to genuinely life ha no purpose and i contribute nothing to society i m sick of being told to suck it up it s just life like fuck off if i m not born into a communist utopia then i don t want to participate in this life shit all i do is lay in bed all day i m unhappy in my relationship in fact it s what triggered my current depressive episode i just want to escape all i do anymore is get high and browse tiktok that s it

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it s march st i m so worried i wont get a job after i graduate from grad school in july i ve had interview have even been the final round of some place too i am networking like crazy have solid internship experience and a decent resume but there s this voice in my head that s like oh lol why would they hire you how do y all stop overthinking about the future

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itsdawns thank rmilana don t like it hehe but it s very easy and well i m just a danish dude

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vacation make me feel sick

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kalichosich awww poor puppy is she ok

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hate math tuition on a holiday wanted to sync my i pod with the latest track nd podcasts will have to wait until im bck fb

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i m f been struggling with depression for almost 0 yr i ve noticed that in recent year i ll have a or week long period of feeling so depressed i can hardly function followed by a few day or usually where i feel normal i m talking high energy normal appetite have a hard time sitting still easier to sleep thru the night etc just wondering if this happens to anyone else i don t think it s mania it just feel so drastically different from my usual depressed state

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w every person there i didn t get a pic my phone died but he signed my shirt so amazing word can not describe should ve skipped mel lol

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honourable mention to this song about aquarius which i would often sing and dance to with immense intensity when on the edge of depression in donny living in my dangerous deprived pain filled area http t co w ijatmpkm

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justagirl 9 that s great about your license wish you d got the rest of it back

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viennateng why didn t you tweet that you are in germany heard about the concert in marburg in the radio hour before it started

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i strongly dislike people who make stupid comment and dont know the whole story

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laurenbavin hey you didn t tell me you had one of those jealous

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for past month i ve been having those really weird head rush while falling asleep it s like sudden tension headache head adrenaline rush it s a really weird feeling almost like my head is going to explode when i open my eye my anxiety obviously kick in but the head thingy immediately stop even though the tension headache is kinda on going my anxiety started because lf this head thingy that started happening to me and i also developed a little depression because of it cause i have 0 idea what that is and even doctor are clueless anyone have an idea i am struggeling so hard since this started

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dein depression

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melaniengzuer haha nah no more i go back twice a month the bus ticket too expensive already

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i used to have worse anxiety but it s been better since i started on adhd medication but every time i now have even small amount of anxiety that don t even amount to an anxiety or panic attack the next day i get really really bad fatigue like i get out of breath from walking across the room and my leg ache despite doing nothing i know tiredness after anxiety is normal but i m getting this after even small amount of anxiety when i didn t have this before even after a day long anxiety attack is this normal or should i book a gp appointment because i end up having to take day off school because of it btw i no longer have anxiety it really is just specific situation such a an anxiety attack about my phobia or even a phone call with a doctor appointment

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my boyfriend then dad and mom passed away all within a year of each other i have tried to move on but the grief is immense also i just lost my job and am about to run out of money i just can t take it anymore and i want to be with my family who i loved very much i have a plan and am thinking about going to the desert where no one would find me this is sad and i can t even afford a therapist anymore because insurance is too expensive i m not ok

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nicolerichie oh my yes i miss

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wow everyone ha abandoned twitter

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feel anxious when i dont follow my routine exactly for example i usually do the same task at work but do know how to do other task non are hard and take a few day to learn but however whenever i deviate from what i normally do i feel anxious that something bad will happen it doesnt make sense because i have done it before and have experience but still feel scared

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for the last 0ish or so year i ve spent most of my day wishing i wa never born my first suicide attempt wa when i wa in nd grade i held a giant kitchen knife to my heart and stood in my kitchen daring myself to fall over and honestly if it weren t for the pain it would ve caused my parent i wish i had nothing ha any meaning at all for me anymore and honestly never ha i m afraid all the time i feel like complete shit my anxiety ha gotten so bad i can no longer work which wa the only way i ever contributed anything i hate myself i hate myself so much if i could go back in time i would shove that knife so far into my heart without a second thought i wish i had the strength to take myself out of the picture but accomplishing anything ha never been my strong suit my wife just asked me if she could get me anything and the first thing that popped into my head wa a gun and hollow point bullet but i m too weak to even take that step i have stage kidney disease i can t work i feel like garbage all the fucking time last year i passed out and broke my face i can t stop thinking about blacking out like that again and never waking up i fantasize about it every day i m a burden to everyone around me and if it wasn t for my son and the fact that i m incapable of accomplishing simple task anymore i would totally take myself out i have friend but none that i feel like i can talk to about this i m so alone i can t do this anymore i m seeing therapist i ve gone to partial hospitalization for anxiety nothing will work though because i m totally broken and unfixable i m not worth fixing nor do i know how i haven t done anything terrible to anyone or ever hurt anyone my life is just empty and it always ha been a blackhole of worthlessness that take all the joy fun and cheer out of a room split it a part and make it completely unrecognizable i m the worst person i know personally everything just feel so hard my wife just told me today that we have a meeting with social security for disability benefit tomorrow and there wa some paperwork that needed to be handled i completely lost it for 0 minute after she told me that i couldn t stop thinking about way to kill myself before the meeting tomorrow i m so not ok and not being around anymore would definitely be better than existing a i currently am amp x 00b sorry this is a rambling mess i m really fucked up right now and i just needed to get this off my chest i m not going to actually kill myself that is waaaaay more effort than i currently have energy for

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finding it really hard to use twitter

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i can t breatheee i hate being sick

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i m only and already have so many physical and mental health issue ptsd ocd autism adhd depression anxiety visual snow obesity fibromyalgia gender dysphoria im trans chronic fatigue binge eating disorder it s all so much not only all this but recently i ve been dealing with more health problem my heart been racing even when i m just laying down and it make me feel like i can t get enough breath in like i m constantly breathing but not fully or something i also have been having horrible cramp like pain and after getting a ultrasound apparently i have a bunch of cyst on my ovary but this apparently isn t the cause of my pain and that terrifies me they think it might be the testosterone and i m scared i ll have to stop taking it and they re not even sure that s what s causing the pain i ve been trying to cope by hanging out with friend and my boyfriend online and other stuff like that but it can t distract me enough from the physical issue so i ve been using weed and alcohol but i know i can t keep using these to cope forever i know it s likely i ll become an alcoholic and part of me doesn t even care a long a it distracts me from the pain enough i m trying to apply for government assistance for disability but it s a lot of work and i feel like it s pointless and they ll just reject me again i ve been in therapy for year take med and go to doctor a lot im still this way no matter how much help i get i m so tired i m so tired of the constant issue i cant keep doing this how long do i have to keep going thru this it feel like it ll never get better idk how much longer i can keep going when i have to deal with all of this it s so much

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i m great at acting like i m happy sometimes i actually think i am people think i m very personable when i m in group setting but a i get older i m finding it harder and harder to keep it up i know fake it til you make it work for some but ha anyone here faked it until they re actually happy most of the time

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larrissar please don t leave stay for grant s bday

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they say there are five stage of grief denial anger bargaining depression and acceptance well i d like to add one more revenge

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jeffreecuntstar i don t have a garage but you can park in my driveway

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listening to nathan cry

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so hey there some might have read my update with my first make out with my boyfriend well ever since then i felt different i don t know if sexy is the right word or not but something make me feel bolder it came to a head on my date yesterday a part of me just wanted to make out again and i knew we couldn t do it at home cause my family were there so in the car before he s about to drive to head home i suddenly hug and kiss the same way a before the thing is i used to never be this bold i should be happy about this new side to build confidence but in the end i keep thinking what if it scare him off or i go to far so far he seems very happy with this so i guess i shouldn t worry but ha anyone else felt different around their significant other

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i m failing out of college right now because i can t fucking focus every time i try to do my work i feel so restless and irritable i get hit with this stupid melancholy feeling for no good reason and it make me feel like doing nothing but lay in bed until i die of starvation but dying is too painful for a number of reason so i really have no easy way out hell i don t even have an out that seems reasonably doable i feel so trapped i want to talk to my loved one and tell them i m dying over here metaphorically but it feel impossible to tell them without something awful happening help

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wish for good old cartoon to come back ie captain planet where s wally daria sadness

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gd mornin world i hav a cold my throat is burnin

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like fuck am i invisible

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i can t do it anymore i don t want to talk to anyone because i keep backtracking myself into thinking i m over exaggerating i have no social skill constantly feel like everyone around me would be better off without me better yet everyone but my parent wouldn t notice they ll hurt the most and that s what i hate so much i wish i could just not wake up tomorrow and not feel like this again i m tired of everything school is shit i want to make them proud but i just cant

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i suddenly feel uneasy and uncomfortable at my relative house i feel like my heart is gon na explode and wan na puke i m close with my relative but i don t know why i m feeling this way it rarely happens there s this one time i m feeling uneasy and uncomfortable then i just started shaking for no reason while i m talking to my relative

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mostazzza im sorry i ve failed you

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lonely bed no husband

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ia awake but ha to go into school today

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today sucked i m gon na die without chris and callum wahhh

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can not stop coughing so much for sleeeping

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gemmaface awww gemma i hope you re not

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is procrastinating i feel ill but don t want to go to bed

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i m an awful person i treat my friend like trash and they don t care about me which they have the right to do if i died literally everyone i know would be better i m being a dick to my best friend and she still tried to make me feel better why i don t deserve that i wanted to overdose today but my mom doesn t have any pill for me to use i m this close to ending this shit i m pathetic and nobody is worth le than me

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lot of depressed people out here just barely holding on to what little they have if anything life is tough another day

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zoeaimee i m trying to research some dude for my english assignment that is due tomorrow and my internet keep freezing and won t load

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grunt good luck with the big meeting i hope the rumour mill is wrong

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i m just so tired i can t do anything there are bag full of clothes and me took one and a half hour to unpack le than two of them i also made a mistake of leaving myself with my own thought so i began to spiral starting with me being angry at my ex and ending on me having flashback from primary school when i probably wa also depressed when i wa every day after school sitting at my desk trying to study or do homework but i couldn t even start or focus due to adhd and executive dysfunction i wa every day sitting at my desk after school guilty over doing nothing and sitting like that until sleep time only to get yelled at next day for getting another bad grade for not doing homework i just despise almost everything in my life my parent aren t supportive at all except providing therapy and med which is a lot but they re one of the reason why my mental health is so bad since i remember i can t do anything and i m useless i might need to repeat my school year cause i missed a lot of class due to me literally being unable to get up i don t have energy or time for my friend but i constantly vent to them and i know it s annoying a heck for them even though they claim that i can vent a much a i want to cause they do the same but i just can t go without telling someone how shitty i feel and even if they read that stuff they just respond with one word reply or sad emoji my ex constantly stress me out with his weird as message and i have to see him at school every day i just feel like everything is just too much and definitely a lot more than i m able to do the biggest challenge in my day is waking up and taking any care of myself but i m also expected to help out with chore study a lot for final be at every class and to not make everyone uncomfortable with how bad my mental health is so right now i m sitting and having mental breakdown for hour and forty minute already with three bag of clothes waiting to be sorted while i have private lesson in 0 minute and my dad will get angry a fuck at me if i won t get this done before those lesson the worse part is just how no one even care about that not my friend not my parent cause in their opinion i m lazy and probably no one here too the only person that care is my therapist who is paid to care about the fact that i more and more feel like killing myself over the simplest thing like chore

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s kinda bummed an agency just told me that i didn t have the look that they were going for lady please help me create the look

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guess what my dad is pregnant lol nah the doctor doe have to give him an epidural for his chronic back pain though

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i nearly spoiled myself for house did just a teeny bit saw a name but then it went away via link i won t be terribly surprised now

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siddharth ind yeah i do i have an application that run every few minute to do that but it the add ons they conflict all the time

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my plan wa to be dead by the end of march i couldn t muster the courage to put the bag over my head and turn the valve so i m just stuck here now left sitting here by myself with all my friend cutoff no car no job no hope not gon na be able to cover my bill this month i m a fucking waste please someone come over here and blow my brain out

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mercygrl oh wow a little chubster you cant invite ppl to play uno on facebook at the moment

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am i m tired think peace out m

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quinparker i find that in this age of internettery this is how you perfectly express sorrow and empathy for another s pain

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rending on kindle rv oopsies think yourself into becoming a language learning super star living well with chronic illness lesson of labor rv depression chronicillness languagelearning parenting childbirth http t co ikm thcige

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sarmar i guess i m out of funny

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where do i even start this feeling ha been going for year but now i reached a point where i am fully convinced that my life is just pointless purposeless empty i keep finding way to help myself to get better socialize talk to a psychologist then i got refered to a psychiatrist and talk to god i don t blame god for anything okay i still believe in god the psychiatrist did gave med escitalopram amp na divalproex amp quetiapin amp olanzapine amp vit b complex for a year i took those med constantly after a year i wa only prescribed with the first two med then recently the psychiatrist needed to move up my med to something more stronger because i said the med didn t work in socializing i tried to talk to friend but i couldn t open myself fully to any of them it is because no one listened or no one gave anything to help same go with my family i even tried looking for a relationship but with the trauma that my past caused me my ex s mirrored my depression towards me i also tried dating apps but every single one is either horny or just hard to talk to i tried to connect with workmate but you know that feeling when just can t connect it s hard to describe but yeah bottom line in socializing no one listens or give help in talking to god i still believe that there s a purpose for everything that s why we are created right i really don t blame god for anything even though i am suffering so much the only question is how long will i have to suffer more detail about work right now i m happy with what i m doing there s stress problem and shitty experience but at least i get task that need to be done yeah so when i m given a task i can finish it regardless of my mentality so my background well i ve been bullied since elementary until highschool for being different in the look it wa nd year highschool when the whole class bullied me constantly the teacher can t even help lol my depression really attacked me in nd year college there i realized all my suffering all my mistake and all my regret i attempted suicide for like time but always failed unfortunately twice i got caught by my family they were concerned at first but a time pass by so is the concern after all that i gave up trying to kill myself because i can t i m too much of a coward to kill myself all those physical abuse i tried to do on myself i can t do it twice so yeah i m like in the middle of trying to live and trying to kill myself if only i m brave enough to just commit suicide i would do it but i m not i actually tried to do sport in the past i wa very active in physical sport like taekwondo athletics and mma i even went to the gym right now i m doing biking but all those physical activity stopped a i lost interest or no motivation anymore i continued biking but everytime i do it i go full speed thinking i would die unfortunately my body just hold the break to slow down and make turn right now i just literally gave up on everything i m convinced that i ll be living my life like an empty shell med don t work socializing don t work and etc etc i just do my work then after just back to emptiness again i am able to do task but is it still living when you just do task out of obligation for advice sorry but i already heard too much but it didn t work anyways just trying to vent out i hope this story is clear or understandable thank you for reading

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so i am currently doing a school project where we have to come up with an empathetic invention that help solve a problem that you or someone you know is going through i struggle with anxiety specifically in social situation where i have to talk to new people my project idea is to create a bracelet with a variety of texture to help soothe provide relief ground someone when they are nervous that is discreet i wa wondering if anyone had any suggestion a to texture that help you calm down when you are nervous fabric thing you fidget with etc thanks

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cant sleep once again i need to cuddle

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omg i ve an economics test and i dont know all the thing i have to know and omg im gon na fail

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ellelovexx haaaaa i want mac amp cheese toooooo hahahaha hey i still got the one u left here i guess im making that today oo lol

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