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Look I never should have kissed your girlfriend, but I’m

Stop callin’!!

Hey! Hey! Hey! This is 92.3, WXRK, K-Rock for our $1,000 daily challenge.

All right!

What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything

Joseph Francis Tribbiani are you home yet?!!

Umm, I think he’s still out. What’s wrong?

Well, I’ll tell you Rachel Karen Green, I had plans with Joey tonight and he left me this note.

"Pheebs, can’t make it, got a date. Talk to you later. Big Daddy." Big Daddy?

Oh that’s a nickname we were trying out.

Hey, y’know what nickname never caught on? The Ross-A-Tron!

Hey!

Oh! Here’s Joseph Francis!

Oh-Wha-Ho! What are you middle naming me for?! I left you a note!

So what?! That doesn’t give you the right to ditch me!

Hey, you can cancel plans with friends if there is the possibility for sex!

Phoebe he’s right, that is the rule.

I don’t accept this rule.

When we make plans, I expect you to show up.

Okay, I can’t just be a way to kill time ‘til you meet someone better!

Y’know boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this is for life!

Did you know he was in there?

No.

How long have we been home?

About a half an hour.

Love

Lights. Uh, romantic lights.

Ooh, nice.

So ah, there was this thing I wanted to talk to you about.

Oh, right! I completely forgot about that.

Well ah, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I look at my life

Yeah?

And I feel like I’ve conquered the business world, and I feel like I’ve conquered the intellectual world, and now I-I have the most beautiful woman in the world.

Wow.

There’s one thing missing.

What’s that?

It’s time for me to conquer the physical world.

Okay.

Monica, I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion.

You wanna what?!

I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! It’s the most intense physical competition in the world, it’s banned in 49 states!

What are you talking about?

Okay, my trainer, Ho Chi, is teaching me a combination of Gee Koon Doe and Brazilian street fighting, I’ve even had my own octagon training ring designed.

And I suppose you used a ring designer for that.

Yeah.

Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win.

I want you close enough to smell the blood.

What do you think?

My parents will be so happy.

Okay to come in?

Yeah, come on, eat, whatever you want. Dr. Roger got beeped again.

Yeah I know, guess who beeped him?

What?!

I’m the ruptured spleen.

Why would you do that?

Because you shouldn’t be with him. You should be with me.

Really?

When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me!

Look, things like last night they don’t just happen.

Or at least not to me.

Or with the other two women, in the morning y’know I was just lying there and I couldn’t wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always y’know with a friend.

Chandler!

I know you probably don’t want to go out with me, y’know because I make too many jokes and I’ve never been in a serious relationship and I guess I’m not technically a "doctor…"

There was just one woman, wasn’t there?

No, there were two.

Including me?

Oh yeah.

Hey!

Welcome back!

Hey! Can we pick up where we left off?

I don’t know, I’m still pretty tired out from this afternoon.

Why?

Uh, the sex.

What sex?

Our sex.

We didn’t have sex.

Well if I didn’t have sex with you, I had sex with someone that looked an awful lot like

Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!

Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! No! No! No!

Oh my God Stu! I-I can’t believe you did this! Now are you absolutely sure she’s a hooker?

Either that or she’s just the best, most expensive date I ever had.

Would you look at them. Am I ever gonna find a boyfriend again? I gonna die an old maid.

I’m your mother.

Ehh?

Oh, and then Monica joked that she wouldn’t go out with a guy like Chandler...

Hi there.

...and he couldn’t let it go, and... I don’t really know what happened with that either.

And then Ross’s new girlfriend, Bonnie, shows up and Rachel convinced her to save her head.

And then Ross and Rachel kiss, and now Ross has to choose between Rachel and the bald girl and I don’t know what happened there either...

Y'know what, hold on, let me go get Chandler.

Uh Mr. Morse, can I speak to you for a moment?

Well yeah, I lied before.

Oh!

Oh God

Now you know how you really feel about it.

Oh-oh, that’s a risky little game!

Are you really gonna do this?

Yeah. I’m gonna have a baby. I’m gonna have a baby. I’m gonna have a baby!

With who?

Ah, it’s still not the time.