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I am so confused and hurt right now. My boyfriend and I just got in the nastiest fight which elevated to him saying terrible things about my character (many curse words and degrading comments, he called me an a\\\\\, sociopath, narcissist, psychopath, and abuser). My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 yr. He recently had to quit law school due to worsening health problems. I have chronic health issues too, and we are both partially disabled. Since then, he's taken up an extremely bad habit of gaming 7-12 hours a day and is in a terrible deep depression. He's been doing this for \months\. I love him, he's nice to me most of the time, but this drives me crazy. Most often, we are sweet and kind to each other, having a nice time, but once a month (or so), he burts angry explosive insults at me that leave me emotionally destroyed and thinking terrible things about myselfmy character for days. Most recent fight: I don't have a lot of money but I bought an expensive ($1800) computer to edit videos (which I'm not doing much anymore). I let him use it 95% of the time (since his old computer broke) for the past 6 months. Occasionally, I want to use it to watch movies or TV shows because my old computer sucks and has no memory. I only use the new comp a few hours per week; every other waking hour of the day, every day, he's on it. I used my new comp to watch a TV show to decompress after working on a research proposal when he was asleep. Within 5 minutes of him waking up, he asked for my computer so he could play games. I was on the season finale and wanted to finish. He wanted me to quit midway & give it to him. He said it was "unfair" of me to give it to him since I'd used it for several hours (when he was sleeping). I said that it was ridiculous that he was tallying time I used MY computer when HE was ASLEEP. I suggested he do something else for 30 minutes while I finish the season finale, and offered to let him use my old computer to do whatever. He said my old computer is a "piece of c\\\" and it can't do "what he needs to do" (play games). I pointed out that he didn't need to play. He said my use of the word "need" (that he didn't NEED to play games) was manipulative +disgusting because I took this statement "out of context" and was trying to "insult" him. He said that I was a "liar" for "twisting his words around" - that saying you don't need to play video games is "judgemental and manipulative". I said it's unfair that I never get to use the computer that I paid for with my money. This is when he COMPLETELY lost it. Suddenly, because I brought "money" into the equation (only in the context of my computer, nothing else), he started yelling and screaming at me, hurling every insult he could think of: a "financial abuser", wielding "power, money, and status" to manipulate &control him, being a "slithering slimy snake". He said it was DISGUSTING of me to mention money, and I was using resources and privilege to abuse him in a "sociopathic"evil way. I was called a c\\\, judgemental w\\\\, and that my actions come "straight out of the book of psychopathy". He said that I had intentionally hurtinsult him (I truly didn't intend to, I was stating what I thought was objective fact), and because of that, he admitted that he "WANTED to HURT me with words and insults". He said that unless I can "admit" to being a "disgusting manipulative a\\\\\\", then we are "OVER". If I didn't admit to it, then I was a "liar". So in other words, my only choices were to be a "liar" or an "a\\\\\\". Pinned into a corner, forced to admit to something I don't think I did. When I told him to stop fighting, that I cool down and stop verbally attacking me, he said "this isn't over". I told him I had a headache and went into the other room and he followed me, yelling at me, getting in my space. I am now feeling extremely upset and wondering if I'm the "bad guy". He spent HOURS trying to convince me that I'm a psychological abuser, narcissist, liar, sociopath, and that I have MAJOR character problemstoxicity.. I'm starting to wonder if that's true. I've gone as far as watching youtube videos on psychopathysociopathyfinancial abuse, trying to figure out if somehow he's right and I have been incredibly abusive somehow but completely unaware of my actions. I even offered to go to therapy to work on becoming "more aware" of my "toxicity" since I apparently am not understanding it. Right now, I'm 50% convinced that I'm a covert narcissist without ever knowing it. This is devastating to me. Because he attacks me like this so often, I've started recording our conversations and have been listening to them again trying to understand where I went wrong or how I lied. It's utterly confusing because in the recordings, I don't see what I did wrong, all I hear is him attacking me. The next day, he apologized and said he didn't mean what he said (even though during the argument he said he meant it). But, he DOES still think I was a jerk for bringing up money. I told him that I am now extremely concerned about "being a narcissist", and to that, he responded that I have a "weak sense of identity", am "overly sensitive", and should stop bringing up water under the bridge. As far as he's concerned, that was "normal", he acts like nothing happened, and I AM the "pathological one" for not "letting go of the fight". TL;DR: I am very concerned that I'm a covert narcissist without realizing it or that I'm toxic, as my boyfriend says many times during our fights. I don't understand how my behavior or comments are "toxic" but if I say one thing wrong that triggers him, he flips this anger switch and starts attacking me and assaulting my character, calling me a narcissistsociopathall sorts of terrible curse words. I'm confused beyond words and concerned that I've been a narcissist without realizing it. My head is spinning. Please help me understand what's going on.

DV knowledge

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I am so confused and hurt right now. My boyfriend and I just got in the nastiest fight which elevated to him saying terrible things about my character (many curse words and degrading comments, he called me an a\\\\\, sociopath, narcissist, psychopath, and abuser). My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 yr. He recently had to quit law school due to worsening health problems. I have chronic health issues too, and we are both partially disabled. Since then, he's taken up an extremely bad habit of gaming 7-12 hours a day and is in a terrible deep depression. He's been doing this for \months\. I love him, he's nice to me most of the time, but this drives me crazy. Most often, we are sweet and kind to each other, having a nice time, but once a month (or so), he burts angry explosive insults at me that leave me emotionally destroyed and thinking terrible things about myselfmy character for days. Most recent fight: I don't have a lot of money but I bought an expensive ($1800) computer to edit videos (which I'm not doing much anymore). I let him use it 95% of the time (since his old computer broke) for the past 6 months. Occasionally, I want to use it to watch movies or TV shows because my old computer sucks and has no memory. I only use the new comp a few hours per week; every other waking hour of the day, every day, he's on it. I used my new comp to watch a TV show to decompress after working on a research proposal when he was asleep. Within 5 minutes of him waking up, he asked for my computer so he could play games. I was on the season finale and wanted to finish. He wanted me to quit midway &amp; give it to him. He said it was "unfair" of me to give it to him since I'd used it for several hours (when he was sleeping). I said that it was ridiculous that he was tallying time I used MY computer when HE was ASLEEP. I suggested he do something else for 30 minutes while I finish the season finale, and offered to let him use my old computer to do whatever. He said my old computer is a "piece of c\\\" and it can't do "what he needs to do" (play games). I pointed out that he didn't need to play. He said my use of the word "need" (that he didn't NEED to play games) was manipulative +disgusting because I took this statement "out of context" and was trying to "insult" him. He said that I was a "liar" for "twisting his words around" - that saying you don't need to play video games is "judgemental and manipulative". I said it's unfair that I never get to use the computer that I paid for with my money. This is when he COMPLETELY lost it. Suddenly, because I brought "money" into the equation (only in the context of my computer, nothing else), he started yelling and screaming at me, hurling every insult he could think of: a "financial abuser", wielding "power, money, and status" to manipulate &amp;control him, being a "slithering slimy snake". He said it was DISGUSTING of me to mention money, and I was using resources and privilege to abuse him in a "sociopathic"evil way. I was called a c\\\, judgemental w\\\\, and that my actions come "straight out of the book of psychopathy". He said that I had intentionally hurtinsult him (I truly didn't intend to, I was stating what I thought was objective fact), and because of that, he admitted that he "WANTED to HURT me with words and insults". He said that unless I can "admit" to being a "disgusting manipulative a\\\\\\", then we are "OVER". If I didn't admit to it, then I was a "liar". So in other words, my only choices were to be a "liar" or an "a\\\\\\". Pinned into a corner, forced to admit to something I don't think I did. When I told him to stop fighting, that I cool down and stop verbally attacking me, he said "this isn't over". I told him I had a headache and went into the other room and he followed me, yelling at me, getting in my space. I am now feeling extremely upset and wondering if I'm the "bad guy". He spent HOURS trying to convince me that I'm a psychological abuser, narcissist, liar, sociopath, and that I have MAJOR character problemstoxicity.. I'm starting to wonder if that's true. I've gone as far as watching youtube videos on psychopathysociopathyfinancial abuse, trying to figure out if somehow he's right and I have been incredibly abusive somehow but completely unaware of my actions. I even offered to go to therapy to work on becoming "more aware" of my "toxicity" since I apparently am not understanding it. Right now, I'm 50% convinced that I'm a covert narcissist without ever knowing it. This is devastating to me. Because he attacks me like this so often, I've started recording our conversations and have been listening to them again trying to understand where I went wrong or how I lied. It's utterly confusing because in the recordings, I don't see what I did wrong, all I hear is him attacking me. The next day, he apologized and said he didn't mean what he said (even though during the argument he said he meant it). But, he DOES still think I was a jerk for bringing up money. I told him that I am now extremely concerned about "being a narcissist", and to that, he responded that I have a "weak sense of identity", am "overly sensitive", and should stop bringing up water under the bridge. As far as he's concerned, that was "normal", he acts like nothing happened, and I AM the "pathological one" for not "letting go of the fight". TL;DR: I am very concerned that I'm a covert narcissist without realizing it or that I'm toxic, as my boyfriend says many times during our fights. I don't understand how my behavior or comments are "toxic" but if I say one thing wrong that triggers him, he flips this anger switch and starts attacking me and assaulting my character, calling me a narcissistsociopathall sorts of terrible curse words. I'm confused beyond words and concerned that I've been a narcissist without realizing it. My head is spinning. Please help me understand what's going on. [/INST] DV knowledge </s>

updating to let you all know that I’ve made the decision to file for divorce. I truly believe it is the right thing and I just pray for strength during this terrible time. What if the physical abuse only happened a handful of times throughout our 10 year marriage (spaced years apart), what if there were never any serious injuries (i know there could have been), what if the rest of the time they were generally kind and supportive (they def have a temper but not aimed toward me usually), what if they are repentant and sober now...it’s been a couple months of us being apart, I know it must be longer but am I crazy for considering trying again in the future? There were a lot of other issues but none that would have caused me to really walk away now the easiest thing honestly seems to walk away for good and the truth is I know I don’t NEED them, in many ways I don’t even WANT them (can’t imagine being affectionate with them)...BUT the pull of my kiddos wanting them back, the kindness and sadness radiating from them every time we interact for kids, their declarations of love, the certainty that surely they wouldn’t let this happen ever again, the lure of not having to do it on my own it all feels like the right answer isn’t to walk away for good after all. Has anyone ever successfully reconciled (no repeat abuse) and if so how long was separation, how much therapy, were you able to truly forgive and not hold it against them?

DV knowledge

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> updating to let you all know that I’ve made the decision to file for divorce. I truly believe it is the right thing and I just pray for strength during this terrible time. What if the physical abuse only happened a handful of times throughout our 10 year marriage (spaced years apart), what if there were never any serious injuries (i know there could have been), what if the rest of the time they were generally kind and supportive (they def have a temper but not aimed toward me usually), what if they are repentant and sober now...it’s been a couple months of us being apart, I know it must be longer but am I crazy for considering trying again in the future? There were a lot of other issues but none that would have caused me to really walk away now the easiest thing honestly seems to walk away for good and the truth is I know I don’t NEED them, in many ways I don’t even WANT them (can’t imagine being affectionate with them)...BUT the pull of my kiddos wanting them back, the kindness and sadness radiating from them every time we interact for kids, their declarations of love, the certainty that surely they wouldn’t let this happen ever again, the lure of not having to do it on my own it all feels like the right answer isn’t to walk away for good after all. Has anyone ever successfully reconciled (no repeat abuse) and if so how long was separation, how much therapy, were you able to truly forgive and not hold it against them? [/INST] DV knowledge </s>

I need to go to another court date. His lawyer pushed the date. He’s not guilty. Why is he pleading not guilty? This makes me angry and upset! And the court does not want to push the charges. I dont wanna see him, I dont wanna go I want this to be over and done with, I wanna move on in my life.

Legal

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I need to go to another court date. His lawyer pushed the date. He’s not guilty. Why is he pleading not guilty? This makes me angry and upset! And the court does not want to push the charges. I dont wanna see him, I dont wanna go I want this to be over and done with, I wanna move on in my life. [/INST] Legal </s>

So my partner of almost 5 yrs got arrested last week for domestic violence towards me and my sister and a few other charges. To make the long story short, I've been with him since high school and have noticed signs of mental illnesses and whatnot. I've narrowed it down to narcissistic, borderline personality disorder, and possibly bipolar disorder. His dad has anger management issues, his mom is diagnosed with bipolar and he has always had anger issues as well. He was often mad and would yell at me for the littlest of things such as if we are playing a game together and I accidentally died (I suck at games but we play together because I know he likes it) he would yell and I call me names, insults me and whatnot. when we moved in together in college, he got physical. he would punch me and hit me and thrown me around like a rag doll. I remember him grabbing my head and slamming it into the fridge in our apartment and the first time he punched me till I bleed in my nose. I wanted to leave at the time but I was scared. Then he stopped, told me he'd never hit me again because he found God. Now, I am religious, not in the best way but I believe in God. So when he told me he found God and decided to be better, I thought maybe this will be our turning point. he was the best for a few weeks, then we started fighting again. he would yell and scream and call me by names and insults. I never said anything because to him it's defiant towards him because he is the man of the household. he eventually quits his job and I was left to support us and my 3 huskies. we moved to a different place because his best friend was supposed to be living with us but they fell off before our move-in date so he never signed the lease. then he would often bring up the idea of a 3 person relationship. this has always been a subject throughout our relationship. it has never been an official thing. he hooked up with my roommate his first year of college, then told me he wasn't gonna do it again. it was completely official when my sister got involved. I told him that it was okay because in my mind it's the least I can do for him because he has done so much for me. that's when his discipline method got worst. before my sister, he wasn't hitting me anymore but it was more of him choking me out till I submit to him and he'll sit on me till I gave in. but when my sister started to live with us he started to do more. he'll tell her that I'm being possessed by an evil spirit and would tell her to go and choke me and he would join and they would choke me out till I peed my pants or till I was out completely, then he would stand on my chest and jump. he would tell me to go choke her if she ever defies him. If I don't do it he would do that to me only worst. he was always favoring her and give her the lighter discipline and make it a horrific experience for me. Another disciplinary action would be he would put our hands in hot water, and or dunk our heads in cold water till we can't breathe anymore. towards the end, I was mortified every time he would raise his voice or if he even said that I'm defying him. my sister finally broke one night after he told her to leave the house she left and called my mom. from there they got the cops involved and he was arrested later that afternoon. I had wished that I would have a breaking point as my sister does. but I wanted him to get better, I want him to feel better to cope better with his problems. I love him I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't know how to feel right now because I know what he did was wrong and that it should never have happened. but towards the end he was such a gentleman towards me, he was sweet, I got to see what he was like back in high school again and I really miss him. I really think that our relationship is going to get better. but I also know that if he ever comes back what he did to me will come back and it's never gonna change. I don't know what to do now because his mom keeps texting me updating the status of his case and what she wants to do. she keeps asking me questions about him that make me worry about him and it makes me want to bail him out because I have the money to. but I also know that I'm going to put myself and my sister in danger if he gets out. I don't know what to do or what to think because I miss him and I miss being with him. my dogs remind me of him, my place reminds me of him everything I come home to reminds me of him and I'm just a sad mess. my mom has been really supportive but I don't know if I'll ever come out of this mess. he has made me feel worthless, he made me feel like I'm nothing but a piece of shit good for nothing. I'm sorry for the long post. I don't normally put my life on the internet like this but I'm stuck and lost and I don't know where else to turn. I don't expect anyone to have read this far but if you have, thank you for reading about me complaining about my life I appreciate it, I just want to be at peace... Edit: he had previously mentioned to me that he wanted me dead. That he wanted to kill me. Then go back when he's happy and say those are things he said while he's angry

Legal

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> So my partner of almost 5 yrs got arrested last week for domestic violence towards me and my sister and a few other charges. To make the long story short, I've been with him since high school and have noticed signs of mental illnesses and whatnot. I've narrowed it down to narcissistic, borderline personality disorder, and possibly bipolar disorder. His dad has anger management issues, his mom is diagnosed with bipolar and he has always had anger issues as well. He was often mad and would yell at me for the littlest of things such as if we are playing a game together and I accidentally died (I suck at games but we play together because I know he likes it) he would yell and I call me names, insults me and whatnot. when we moved in together in college, he got physical. he would punch me and hit me and thrown me around like a rag doll. I remember him grabbing my head and slamming it into the fridge in our apartment and the first time he punched me till I bleed in my nose. I wanted to leave at the time but I was scared. Then he stopped, told me he'd never hit me again because he found God. Now, I am religious, not in the best way but I believe in God. So when he told me he found God and decided to be better, I thought maybe this will be our turning point. he was the best for a few weeks, then we started fighting again. he would yell and scream and call me by names and insults. I never said anything because to him it's defiant towards him because he is the man of the household. he eventually quits his job and I was left to support us and my 3 huskies. we moved to a different place because his best friend was supposed to be living with us but they fell off before our move-in date so he never signed the lease. then he would often bring up the idea of a 3 person relationship. this has always been a subject throughout our relationship. it has never been an official thing. he hooked up with my roommate his first year of college, then told me he wasn't gonna do it again. it was completely official when my sister got involved. I told him that it was okay because in my mind it's the least I can do for him because he has done so much for me. that's when his discipline method got worst. before my sister, he wasn't hitting me anymore but it was more of him choking me out till I submit to him and he'll sit on me till I gave in. but when my sister started to live with us he started to do more. he'll tell her that I'm being possessed by an evil spirit and would tell her to go and choke me and he would join and they would choke me out till I peed my pants or till I was out completely, then he would stand on my chest and jump. he would tell me to go choke her if she ever defies him. If I don't do it he would do that to me only worst. he was always favoring her and give her the lighter discipline and make it a horrific experience for me. Another disciplinary action would be he would put our hands in hot water, and or dunk our heads in cold water till we can't breathe anymore. towards the end, I was mortified every time he would raise his voice or if he even said that I'm defying him. my sister finally broke one night after he told her to leave the house she left and called my mom. from there they got the cops involved and he was arrested later that afternoon. I had wished that I would have a breaking point as my sister does. but I wanted him to get better, I want him to feel better to cope better with his problems. I love him I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't know how to feel right now because I know what he did was wrong and that it should never have happened. but towards the end he was such a gentleman towards me, he was sweet, I got to see what he was like back in high school again and I really miss him. I really think that our relationship is going to get better. but I also know that if he ever comes back what he did to me will come back and it's never gonna change. I don't know what to do now because his mom keeps texting me updating the status of his case and what she wants to do. she keeps asking me questions about him that make me worry about him and it makes me want to bail him out because I have the money to. but I also know that I'm going to put myself and my sister in danger if he gets out. I don't know what to do or what to think because I miss him and I miss being with him. my dogs remind me of him, my place reminds me of him everything I come home to reminds me of him and I'm just a sad mess. my mom has been really supportive but I don't know if I'll ever come out of this mess. he has made me feel worthless, he made me feel like I'm nothing but a piece of shit good for nothing. I'm sorry for the long post. I don't normally put my life on the internet like this but I'm stuck and lost and I don't know where else to turn. I don't expect anyone to have read this far but if you have, thank you for reading about me complaining about my life I appreciate it, I just want to be at peace... Edit: he had previously mentioned to me that he wanted me dead. That he wanted to kill me. Then go back when he's happy and say those are things he said while he's angry [/INST] Legal </s>

Hi all I've never done this before. I'm really looking for some advice. I have been with my partner for nearly 8 years. I'm 27 he's 36. I was very younge when I met him and he was amazing and I quickly fell in love with him and him me. About a year into the relationship we had a argument (can't remember what about) he was trying to get me out of his flat but I refused as I wanted to sort things out. He then pinned me up against the wall and strangled me. After he calmed down he was very sorry and I accepted the apology and he said he would never do that again. 7 years later I can sadly say that simular situations during arguments have happened at least another 6 times over the years most recently in the Autumn so a few months back now. Hes strangled me almost every time, pinned me up against the wall and has slapped me plus all of the awful names I am called ( bitch, hoe, retard) I never fight back or swear I just about raise my voice. I've always known that this is bad and not normal however I think over the years I have become very good at ignoring and blanking out the truth. Since turning 2627 I've been doing alot of research on domestic violence and have accepted that I am a victim. I wouldn't say that I am your typical victim as most of the time our relationship is amazing and full of fun. However there has been times (roughly once or twice a year) when he's particularly stressed and when an argument breaks out he has become violent. As of recent I've addressed these issues with him and told him that what's he's been doing isn't normal and that I am not to blame for his out bursts. I've told him if it happens one more time then we are done for good. He's extreamly sorry and realises that he's been a monster to me at times. Does anyone here been in a similar situation as me? And can things actually change or am I just wasting my time? Thank you all xx

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Hi all I've never done this before. I'm really looking for some advice. I have been with my partner for nearly 8 years. I'm 27 he's 36. I was very younge when I met him and he was amazing and I quickly fell in love with him and him me. About a year into the relationship we had a argument (can't remember what about) he was trying to get me out of his flat but I refused as I wanted to sort things out. He then pinned me up against the wall and strangled me. After he calmed down he was very sorry and I accepted the apology and he said he would never do that again. 7 years later I can sadly say that simular situations during arguments have happened at least another 6 times over the years most recently in the Autumn so a few months back now. Hes strangled me almost every time, pinned me up against the wall and has slapped me plus all of the awful names I am called ( bitch, hoe, retard) I never fight back or swear I just about raise my voice. I've always known that this is bad and not normal however I think over the years I have become very good at ignoring and blanking out the truth. Since turning 2627 I've been doing alot of research on domestic violence and have accepted that I am a victim. I wouldn't say that I am your typical victim as most of the time our relationship is amazing and full of fun. However there has been times (roughly once or twice a year) when he's particularly stressed and when an argument breaks out he has become violent. As of recent I've addressed these issues with him and told him that what's he's been doing isn't normal and that I am not to blame for his out bursts. I've told him if it happens one more time then we are done for good. He's extreamly sorry and realises that he's been a monster to me at times. Does anyone here been in a similar situation as me? And can things actually change or am I just wasting my time? Thank you all xx [/INST] Communication </s>

I did everything right. I reported my abuser almost every time he hurt me. Everyone always asks why victims don’t report their abuser. This is why. My husband is now facing prison time with 2 felonies and a misdemeanor. I should be happy right? I’m free of him? What people don’t see is that now I am alone to take care of a newborn baby. I can’t do this alone. I lock myself in the bathroom every night while he cries himself to sleep. And what about the financial aspect? I can’t support myself and my child. I have resorted to selling pics and videos and basically prostituting myself out to have money for rent. I feel so alone. My friends and family are gone, my abuser pushed them away long ago. It’s just me and my baby. There’s so much more than just reporting someone and thinking your problems will just go away. Please if anyone has any advice or maybe has been here before. I’m hurting. Contemplating adoption. I just want to disappear.

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I did everything right. I reported my abuser almost every time he hurt me. Everyone always asks why victims don’t report their abuser. This is why. My husband is now facing prison time with 2 felonies and a misdemeanor. I should be happy right? I’m free of him? What people don’t see is that now I am alone to take care of a newborn baby. I can’t do this alone. I lock myself in the bathroom every night while he cries himself to sleep. And what about the financial aspect? I can’t support myself and my child. I have resorted to selling pics and videos and basically prostituting myself out to have money for rent. I feel so alone. My friends and family are gone, my abuser pushed them away long ago. It’s just me and my baby. There’s so much more than just reporting someone and thinking your problems will just go away. Please if anyone has any advice or maybe has been here before. I’m hurting. Contemplating adoption. I just want to disappear. [/INST] Communication </s>

I don’t know if this is also abuse, but Reddit recommended to post this here instead of another sub I posted this in. TL;DR how could someone escape from a very controlling relationship? I (F25) am in a relationship with my bf (M28) for nearly 8 years right now. A lot of stuff has happened between us. Very beautiful and good things but also horrible and terrifying things. My bf is very controlling and basically decides how I live my life. I have no friends anymore and no contact with my family. He tracks everything I do and controls who I talk to and who I meet up with. Which is almost no one nowadays because of his behavior in the past. I really really love him, he is honestly the best person I know when he is in a good or okayish mood. But when his mood gets bad, it gets really bad... I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t want to lose him but I also don’t want to live like this anymore. I feel trapped and there is no one I can talk to about this. (In the past I’ve tried to break up with him and been in a women’s shelter for a few months. I felt really safe there but my bf found me through his connections and started threatening me and my 2 supervisors from that place. I had to go back to him. The controlling behavior only got worse after that and is still happening to this day. I don’t trust police either, because in the past I had really bad experience with them. They tried to break up my relationship, pressured me to choose between my bf and my family and own life, said they would be there for me but just used me to catch my bf... that’s not a way for me anymore. I really gave it a chance)

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I don’t know if this is also abuse, but Reddit recommended to post this here instead of another sub I posted this in. TL;DR how could someone escape from a very controlling relationship? I (F25) am in a relationship with my bf (M28) for nearly 8 years right now. A lot of stuff has happened between us. Very beautiful and good things but also horrible and terrifying things. My bf is very controlling and basically decides how I live my life. I have no friends anymore and no contact with my family. He tracks everything I do and controls who I talk to and who I meet up with. Which is almost no one nowadays because of his behavior in the past. I really really love him, he is honestly the best person I know when he is in a good or okayish mood. But when his mood gets bad, it gets really bad... I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t want to lose him but I also don’t want to live like this anymore. I feel trapped and there is no one I can talk to about this. (In the past I’ve tried to break up with him and been in a women’s shelter for a few months. I felt really safe there but my bf found me through his connections and started threatening me and my 2 supervisors from that place. I had to go back to him. The controlling behavior only got worse after that and is still happening to this day. I don’t trust police either, because in the past I had really bad experience with them. They tried to break up my relationship, pressured me to choose between my bf and my family and own life, said they would be there for me but just used me to catch my bf... that’s not a way for me anymore. I really gave it a chance) [/INST] Communication </s>

If anybody has experienced narcissist abuse rage in marriage how did you how hold your self together TIL you were able to break free? IM broken down inside the things that have happened are unspeakable ..we own a business together too..im in therapy Any body been in my place? To help clarifly my situation I have a disability as well.

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> If anybody has experienced narcissist abuse rage in marriage how did you how hold your self together TIL you were able to break free? IM broken down inside the things that have happened are unspeakable ..we own a business together too..im in therapy Any body been in my place? To help clarifly my situation I have a disability as well. [/INST] Communication </s>

So I’m 36 weeks pregnant. The father of my baby and I do not get a long because I won’t have sex with him. He told me he should have forced sex with me the last time I was with him and I made him stop. Every time I don’t have sex with him he becomes verbally abusive. And I can’t even see him without him touching me after I said no. It’s getting to the point where I don’t even wanna share custody of my unborn daughter with him. Because he makes me feel intimidated and uncomfortable. I don’t know what to do.

Childbearing

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> So I’m 36 weeks pregnant. The father of my baby and I do not get a long because I won’t have sex with him. He told me he should have forced sex with me the last time I was with him and I made him stop. Every time I don’t have sex with him he becomes verbally abusive. And I can’t even see him without him touching me after I said no. It’s getting to the point where I don’t even wanna share custody of my unborn daughter with him. Because he makes me feel intimidated and uncomfortable. I don’t know what to do. [/INST] Childbearing </s>

I don't know what to do anymore. The abuse is getting so bad. I have a medical condition to the point that I can't work anymore and I got denied disability. I have no money and no where to go. Shelters apparently can't accommodate my medical needs. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so alone.

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I don't know what to do anymore. The abuse is getting so bad. I have a medical condition to the point that I can't work anymore and I got denied disability. I have no money and no where to go. Shelters apparently can't accommodate my medical needs. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so alone. [/INST] Communication </s>

Last night things finally came to a head. My husband, when he wants to argue will take away my cell phone or any lines of communication I have (he will go so far as to disconnect our landline). He also likes to call my friends and tell them I’m “acting crazy”. Last night he physically abused me again...he does what he knows is the worst for me. He holds me down and hurts me and won’t let me free. He decided to FaceTime one of my friends and proceeded to tell her that I had “went crazy and attacked him”... I did scratch him to try to get him off of me so he showed her that. I was sitting on the floor crying in my underwear and he faced the camera towards me so she could see....as soon as I started to say that he was lying, and that I had bruises, he quickly hung up the phone. But my friend knew I was in trouble and she called the police as soon as she got off the phone. He did not stop hurting me until the police showed up, and when they did come he told me to tell them to leave and that I had self inflicted wounds I really had no idea how they knew to come to my house....because I had tried to dial 911 on my cell phone and house phone but he ripped the phones away. I had thought that maybe the call did go through but I found out later that it was my friend who called. Thank god for her this is not the first time this has happened but he always told me every incident would be the last. I just couldn’t believe he would do it again and again. I have a beautiful 6 month old daughter who was asleep on her crib in the next room during all of this I’m so grateful that the police believed me and helped me to file a temporary restraining order. I feel lost today....it’s Valentine’s Day and I am at home with my daughter. I’m in so much pain mentally and physically but I’m also heartbroken and miss him....I know this is for the best because he cannot be abusing me but why does it hurt so bad when they are finally away? I hope everyone’s day is better and thanks for letting me vent to you all

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Last night things finally came to a head. My husband, when he wants to argue will take away my cell phone or any lines of communication I have (he will go so far as to disconnect our landline). He also likes to call my friends and tell them I’m “acting crazy”. Last night he physically abused me again...he does what he knows is the worst for me. He holds me down and hurts me and won’t let me free. He decided to FaceTime one of my friends and proceeded to tell her that I had “went crazy and attacked him”... I did scratch him to try to get him off of me so he showed her that. I was sitting on the floor crying in my underwear and he faced the camera towards me so she could see....as soon as I started to say that he was lying, and that I had bruises, he quickly hung up the phone. But my friend knew I was in trouble and she called the police as soon as she got off the phone. He did not stop hurting me until the police showed up, and when they did come he told me to tell them to leave and that I had self inflicted wounds I really had no idea how they knew to come to my house....because I had tried to dial 911 on my cell phone and house phone but he ripped the phones away. I had thought that maybe the call did go through but I found out later that it was my friend who called. Thank god for her this is not the first time this has happened but he always told me every incident would be the last. I just couldn’t believe he would do it again and again. I have a beautiful 6 month old daughter who was asleep on her crib in the next room during all of this I’m so grateful that the police believed me and helped me to file a temporary restraining order. I feel lost today....it’s Valentine’s Day and I am at home with my daughter. I’m in so much pain mentally and physically but I’m also heartbroken and miss him....I know this is for the best because he cannot be abusing me but why does it hurt so bad when they are finally away? I hope everyone’s day is better and thanks for letting me vent to you all [/INST] Communication </s>

Hey so I was with a guy for 3 years and he broke me down so bad that I lost myself before I got with him I had one child and life was amazing then we had a child together and I saw red flags and ignored the because it was only a few fast forward to me moving to his state and having his daughter that’s when the abuse started I shook it off and believed he wasn’t gonna hit me again and I was kid right it led to him choking me out every time I didn’t submit or do what he wanted me to do, I was forced to have sex when I didn’t want to or I was accused of cheating and that was another fight now here I am homeless and 4 months pregnant with twins that’s now kids 3 and 4 and I have 2 kids already and to be honest I’m far from excited about having them I know it may change when I have them but rn I despise being pregnant by this man he’s living his life and doing everything that he wants to do and I’m pregnant and can’t work till I give birth And then the struggle and stress of being a single mom of 4 , I sometimes wonder if I should have got a abortion like he was trying to force me into is it ok to not feel excited about being pregnant with twins by a man who like to use me as his punching bag Signed AM I THE ASSHOLE MOM FOR NOT BEING EXTREMELY EXCITED ABOUT HAVING TWINS

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Hey so I was with a guy for 3 years and he broke me down so bad that I lost myself before I got with him I had one child and life was amazing then we had a child together and I saw red flags and ignored the because it was only a few fast forward to me moving to his state and having his daughter that’s when the abuse started I shook it off and believed he wasn’t gonna hit me again and I was kid right it led to him choking me out every time I didn’t submit or do what he wanted me to do, I was forced to have sex when I didn’t want to or I was accused of cheating and that was another fight now here I am homeless and 4 months pregnant with twins that’s now kids 3 and 4 and I have 2 kids already and to be honest I’m far from excited about having them I know it may change when I have them but rn I despise being pregnant by this man he’s living his life and doing everything that he wants to do and I’m pregnant and can’t work till I give birth And then the struggle and stress of being a single mom of 4 , I sometimes wonder if I should have got a abortion like he was trying to force me into is it ok to not feel excited about being pregnant with twins by a man who like to use me as his punching bag Signed AM I THE ASSHOLE MOM FOR NOT BEING EXTREMELY EXCITED ABOUT HAVING TWINS [/INST] Communication </s>

Update: the court found no evidence of abuse and he has gained 5050 custody. All he has to do is take a abuse class. Ugh. She is so defeated Hello, I am hoping you can help me. My friend has left her abusive husband and we filed a restraining order for her last week. The trial is this week and I am worried we don’t have enough evidence. Right now we only have dates and times of abusive events. We don’t have any pictures (her phone was smashed and she hadn’t backed up pictures). We do have one threat on text that is pretty intense but that’s it. Is that going to be enough? She is scared and I am scared for her. I am worried they won’t grant it for her and her children and he will become enraged. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you so much.

Legal

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Update: the court found no evidence of abuse and he has gained 5050 custody. All he has to do is take a abuse class. Ugh. She is so defeated Hello, I am hoping you can help me. My friend has left her abusive husband and we filed a restraining order for her last week. The trial is this week and I am worried we don’t have enough evidence. Right now we only have dates and times of abusive events. We don’t have any pictures (her phone was smashed and she hadn’t backed up pictures). We do have one threat on text that is pretty intense but that’s it. Is that going to be enough? She is scared and I am scared for her. I am worried they won’t grant it for her and her children and he will become enraged. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you so much. [/INST] Legal </s>

Get ya a snack cause this is gonna be a LONG story. I started dating this guy for a few months back in the Spring. We fell in love quickly and he moved in with me. We both have our own past relationship traumas, toxic behaviors, insecurities, trust issues, etc. I'm very closed off due to these reasons therefore it has taken me longer to open up than it has him.. which resulted in a lot of overthinking on his part. From the start, the phones have been an issue. I will admit I started the first fight over him acting sketchy over his phone. First things first, he completely swiped his phone before he came over. I mean, everything. He explained his reasoning as he was being respectful to me by not having any past messages for me to get upset over. Ok, understood. However, he kept changing his PIN to his phone. He told it to me one day so that I could use his cause mine was dead. A few days later, the PIN was changed. Is that not shady in your eyes? Maybe I just let my mind wander and be triggered due to being cheated on by an ex. So, I let that go. Next, we had had a few drinks one night and apparently I had too many. I hadn't drank in a long time and I definitely overdone it. He says I flipped out and was very angry, accusing him of cheating and said a lot of hurtful things to him. I don't remember this at all but I apologized profusely and tried to make it up to him for several days afterward. Fast forward a few weeks later, he's been drinking... and it is his turn to explode. He calls me every name in the book. I just took it as I knew I did deserve it. Fast forward another week, he takes it a step farther and will not allow me to have any alone time whatsoever. I can't even go to the bathroom in peace. I was laying in bed, crying.. And he jerked the blanket away and flipped the lights on and demanded I get up. I didn't. So he proceeded to take all of my clothes off the rack and throw them on top of me. I begged him to stop and leave me alone. He would go away for a minute then come right back. I made the mistake of messaging my brother, just to vent, get some advice... As he does the same to me. However, he was very upset and came over and made my boyfriend leave via police. We broke up for about a month. We still talked every day. He begged me every single day to take him back. I eventually gave in. He didn't technically move back in but he stayed with me majority of the time. He had been back a couple months now and everything was fine... Until his birthday rolled around and he wanted to drink. I was skeptical at first as he had really made some great progress since he had decided to quit... But wanted him to enjoy his day. His birthday turned into a week long binge that was pure torture. It was like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde moment. I swear several times I seen the devil in his eyes. He practically held me hostage in my own apt for 3 days. I wasn't allowed to go outside or visit my dad who lives right next door. He would scream crazy outbursts like I was beating him, would throw himself up against the door so neighbors would hear. He grabbed knives and put them in my hands saying I just want your finger prints all over these incase something happens to me. He slapped himself over and over in the face saying I was doing it, to call the law. He even took my hands once and punched himself in the face. He had scratches on his face from my nails trying to just get away from him. I begged for him to stop. He would take a drink of beer and spew it in my face. He would call me various names, say I was mocking him for being abused as a child.. When that is something I NEVER would have done. He broke my couch by sitting down too hard, then got up and done it again so it would break down completely. He wouldn't allow me to have access to my phone, said he didn't trust me. I needed to use the bathroom and was gonna take it in there with me to watch Tik Tok videos. He wouldn't let me so I gently tossed it on the bed, it landed on the pillow. I came out and my phone was gone. I searched the bedroom up and down. He said he didn't know where it was. I eventually found it hidden behind the cushions on the couch next to where he sits. The screen protector was off. It was wet, inside the case was wet and the screen was black. It looked like he had punched it and put it under faucet. He still to this day denies touching it. Hw busted TWO of his phones. First he busted after he did mine, he slammed it on ground and asked if I was happy now. Hw got a cheap phone the next day.. The nexr day after he had been drinking he busted it too, for no reason.. Just tossed it up in air and busted it. He would scream that I was talking badly about his mom, that i threatened to kill her and she was in diapers and used a walker. I never did any of that. I literally sat and tried to focus on playing cards with him, as that is what he always wanted to do. I had to sit and play Rummy and UNO with him for 8 hours, while he drank and done and said crazy things. He would flip me off right in my face, finger to my nose. He would throw his hands out like he was going to hit me in the face, then get mad when I flinched. There is just so much... I'm probably forgetting things. When he would wake up, it was like nothing ever happened. He would try to hug up and love on me and talk to me sweetly. Then he would drink, and it was like a monster was awoken. He blamed me for it all... That I started this and that he couldn't trust me is reason he acted this way. I had to literally escape from my own apt to get away from him and my Dad called the police to escort him out. I filed an EPO... That has still not been served. We work at the same hospital. He still talks to me every day, wants to take breaks, wants to come over. Says he will never drink again. I love him but I am so scared. What if next time is worse? What if he truly hurts me? What do I do? I know my mind is saying run far away but my heart loves him for who he is when he's not drinking. How can I believe him? I just really need some advice. Thanks for listening!!!

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Get ya a snack cause this is gonna be a LONG story. I started dating this guy for a few months back in the Spring. We fell in love quickly and he moved in with me. We both have our own past relationship traumas, toxic behaviors, insecurities, trust issues, etc. I'm very closed off due to these reasons therefore it has taken me longer to open up than it has him.. which resulted in a lot of overthinking on his part. From the start, the phones have been an issue. I will admit I started the first fight over him acting sketchy over his phone. First things first, he completely swiped his phone before he came over. I mean, everything. He explained his reasoning as he was being respectful to me by not having any past messages for me to get upset over. Ok, understood. However, he kept changing his PIN to his phone. He told it to me one day so that I could use his cause mine was dead. A few days later, the PIN was changed. Is that not shady in your eyes? Maybe I just let my mind wander and be triggered due to being cheated on by an ex. So, I let that go. Next, we had had a few drinks one night and apparently I had too many. I hadn't drank in a long time and I definitely overdone it. He says I flipped out and was very angry, accusing him of cheating and said a lot of hurtful things to him. I don't remember this at all but I apologized profusely and tried to make it up to him for several days afterward. Fast forward a few weeks later, he's been drinking... and it is his turn to explode. He calls me every name in the book. I just took it as I knew I did deserve it. Fast forward another week, he takes it a step farther and will not allow me to have any alone time whatsoever. I can't even go to the bathroom in peace. I was laying in bed, crying.. And he jerked the blanket away and flipped the lights on and demanded I get up. I didn't. So he proceeded to take all of my clothes off the rack and throw them on top of me. I begged him to stop and leave me alone. He would go away for a minute then come right back. I made the mistake of messaging my brother, just to vent, get some advice... As he does the same to me. However, he was very upset and came over and made my boyfriend leave via police. We broke up for about a month. We still talked every day. He begged me every single day to take him back. I eventually gave in. He didn't technically move back in but he stayed with me majority of the time. He had been back a couple months now and everything was fine... Until his birthday rolled around and he wanted to drink. I was skeptical at first as he had really made some great progress since he had decided to quit... But wanted him to enjoy his day. His birthday turned into a week long binge that was pure torture. It was like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde moment. I swear several times I seen the devil in his eyes. He practically held me hostage in my own apt for 3 days. I wasn't allowed to go outside or visit my dad who lives right next door. He would scream crazy outbursts like I was beating him, would throw himself up against the door so neighbors would hear. He grabbed knives and put them in my hands saying I just want your finger prints all over these incase something happens to me. He slapped himself over and over in the face saying I was doing it, to call the law. He even took my hands once and punched himself in the face. He had scratches on his face from my nails trying to just get away from him. I begged for him to stop. He would take a drink of beer and spew it in my face. He would call me various names, say I was mocking him for being abused as a child.. When that is something I NEVER would have done. He broke my couch by sitting down too hard, then got up and done it again so it would break down completely. He wouldn't allow me to have access to my phone, said he didn't trust me. I needed to use the bathroom and was gonna take it in there with me to watch Tik Tok videos. He wouldn't let me so I gently tossed it on the bed, it landed on the pillow. I came out and my phone was gone. I searched the bedroom up and down. He said he didn't know where it was. I eventually found it hidden behind the cushions on the couch next to where he sits. The screen protector was off. It was wet, inside the case was wet and the screen was black. It looked like he had punched it and put it under faucet. He still to this day denies touching it. Hw busted TWO of his phones. First he busted after he did mine, he slammed it on ground and asked if I was happy now. Hw got a cheap phone the next day.. The nexr day after he had been drinking he busted it too, for no reason.. Just tossed it up in air and busted it. He would scream that I was talking badly about his mom, that i threatened to kill her and she was in diapers and used a walker. I never did any of that. I literally sat and tried to focus on playing cards with him, as that is what he always wanted to do. I had to sit and play Rummy and UNO with him for 8 hours, while he drank and done and said crazy things. He would flip me off right in my face, finger to my nose. He would throw his hands out like he was going to hit me in the face, then get mad when I flinched. There is just so much... I'm probably forgetting things. When he would wake up, it was like nothing ever happened. He would try to hug up and love on me and talk to me sweetly. Then he would drink, and it was like a monster was awoken. He blamed me for it all... That I started this and that he couldn't trust me is reason he acted this way. I had to literally escape from my own apt to get away from him and my Dad called the police to escort him out. I filed an EPO... That has still not been served. We work at the same hospital. He still talks to me every day, wants to take breaks, wants to come over. Says he will never drink again. I love him but I am so scared. What if next time is worse? What if he truly hurts me? What do I do? I know my mind is saying run far away but my heart loves him for who he is when he's not drinking. How can I believe him? I just really need some advice. Thanks for listening!!! [/INST] Communication </s>

Hi! Has anybody else experienced losing common friends being the victim of DV? It‘s kinda weird to me, everytime I open up about how I feel people start going against me and want nothing to do with me anymore. On the other hand, they still hang out with my abuser and are friends like nothing happened. Is this normal??

DV knowledge

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Hi! Has anybody else experienced losing common friends being the victim of DV? It‘s kinda weird to me, everytime I open up about how I feel people start going against me and want nothing to do with me anymore. On the other hand, they still hang out with my abuser and are friends like nothing happened. Is this normal?? [/INST] DV knowledge </s>

My ex is currently in AA and has been sober since I left the marriage in the beginning of 2019. Our marriage was very difficult and when he was using, he could become verbally and emotionally abusive. Sometimes it became physical. Issue is our child thinks the world of him, like he can do no wrong. She loves him very much. It’s very important to her that we get along. All of 2019, I hated him. All the resentment and anger I was holding in the past 11 years was finally able to surface. When our divorce finalized in 2020, I started to soften towards him. Becoming more friendly, no longer tensing up when he was around. Someone in another thread pointed out that abuse survivors may want to explore forgiving their abusers. ‘Forgive those that don’t deserve your forgiveness’ And so I did, for my daughter’s sake. I even invited him over for Christmas since he had nowhere to go. Is it strange? I’m feeling judgement from people in my life who think I shouldn’t give him the time of day. Some may even think I’m still in love with him (I am not!). Just wanted to see if anyone has gone through the same experience.

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My ex is currently in AA and has been sober since I left the marriage in the beginning of 2019. Our marriage was very difficult and when he was using, he could become verbally and emotionally abusive. Sometimes it became physical. Issue is our child thinks the world of him, like he can do no wrong. She loves him very much. It’s very important to her that we get along. All of 2019, I hated him. All the resentment and anger I was holding in the past 11 years was finally able to surface. When our divorce finalized in 2020, I started to soften towards him. Becoming more friendly, no longer tensing up when he was around. Someone in another thread pointed out that abuse survivors may want to explore forgiving their abusers. ‘Forgive those that don’t deserve your forgiveness’ And so I did, for my daughter’s sake. I even invited him over for Christmas since he had nowhere to go. Is it strange? I’m feeling judgement from people in my life who think I shouldn’t give him the time of day. Some may even think I’m still in love with him (I am not!). Just wanted to see if anyone has gone through the same experience. [/INST] Communication </s>

Describing my situation with some (very brief) details of the violence: During a fight at the beginning of the year, he nearly suffocated me and gave me a concussion. There hasn't been any of that type of violence between us since then except one time after a verbal argument, where he more or less said, 'I want to do that to you again but I won't'. I've moved in and out of the house since but after experiencing worsening PCS (post concussion syndrome) symptoms am now back again, trying to focus on recovering some of my health which I've felt moving around so much has not helped me do. This is his apartment. Before I moved in, I was living in a rental that was affordable to me at the time, however, is no longer since I only just finished school when I moved into here, the pandemic had just started and am now still mostly not working and am still pretty sick from PCS (read as: I cannot afford my own place right now). He is gone a lot of the time (weeks at a time) and will continue to be until the summer, when he leaves for work for a full 3-4 months. I am in ongoing therapy and he has gone to a few therapy sessions that afterwards seems to give him a positive shift in perspective. I am pretty convinced at this point that I will need to leave the house and the relationship eventually. However, I also want to focus on doing the things that make me feel like I am on the right track for my recovery. And when I was moved out, I was really struggling with finding a situation where I could be more comfortable than I am here (sans fights). Right now, it honestly feels to me that I am in the best worst case scenario although I realize it is still risky. He did do me serious harm. He could have even ended my life. I don't think that is what he was trying to do and I also don't think he would purposefully do that, although of course I have read the statistics about abuse escalating. Considering all the pros and cons, I feel that for myself, right now, I am leaning towards staying (maybe at longest until the summer when he is gone for the longer period of time) and focusing on my health and recovery as being the best option for me. My question for the community is: If you were in my shoes, what would you do and over what period of time? I am looking forward to hearing more perspectives, especially given that I do, in fact, have brain trauma that is no doubt affecting my reasoning skills. One more thing that I will add for those who have never had brain trauma before: In my experience of living with PCS, it is like having a very strict limit on your energy level. It feels like I wake up with a set amount of energy to try to do the things I want to do, hoping that at least some of those things are what will eventually help me to make a full recovery andor give myself an energy boost for upcoming days. I try to eat some brain food, do a couple social things, do some chores, do some exercise, enjoy some screen time, knowing that if I push myself too much in anything that I could bust and 'lose' the rest of my day. I'm finding that pacing myself is very important. A 'bust' may not be life threatening (as far as I know) but it has its consequences and sometimes I feel the effects of a bust for days, weeks. At least for me it is a big factor in knowing that ifwhen I do move out again, it will take a lot of my energy to do so. Woof, I'm tired now. thanks for reading through! Hoping to hear some constructive thoughts!

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Describing my situation with some (very brief) details of the violence: During a fight at the beginning of the year, he nearly suffocated me and gave me a concussion. There hasn't been any of that type of violence between us since then except one time after a verbal argument, where he more or less said, 'I want to do that to you again but I won't'. I've moved in and out of the house since but after experiencing worsening PCS (post concussion syndrome) symptoms am now back again, trying to focus on recovering some of my health which I've felt moving around so much has not helped me do. This is his apartment. Before I moved in, I was living in a rental that was affordable to me at the time, however, is no longer since I only just finished school when I moved into here, the pandemic had just started and am now still mostly not working and am still pretty sick from PCS (read as: I cannot afford my own place right now). He is gone a lot of the time (weeks at a time) and will continue to be until the summer, when he leaves for work for a full 3-4 months. I am in ongoing therapy and he has gone to a few therapy sessions that afterwards seems to give him a positive shift in perspective. I am pretty convinced at this point that I will need to leave the house and the relationship eventually. However, I also want to focus on doing the things that make me feel like I am on the right track for my recovery. And when I was moved out, I was really struggling with finding a situation where I could be more comfortable than I am here (sans fights). Right now, it honestly feels to me that I am in the best worst case scenario although I realize it is still risky. He did do me serious harm. He could have even ended my life. I don't think that is what he was trying to do and I also don't think he would purposefully do that, although of course I have read the statistics about abuse escalating. Considering all the pros and cons, I feel that for myself, right now, I am leaning towards staying (maybe at longest until the summer when he is gone for the longer period of time) and focusing on my health and recovery as being the best option for me. My question for the community is: If you were in my shoes, what would you do and over what period of time? I am looking forward to hearing more perspectives, especially given that I do, in fact, have brain trauma that is no doubt affecting my reasoning skills. One more thing that I will add for those who have never had brain trauma before: In my experience of living with PCS, it is like having a very strict limit on your energy level. It feels like I wake up with a set amount of energy to try to do the things I want to do, hoping that at least some of those things are what will eventually help me to make a full recovery andor give myself an energy boost for upcoming days. I try to eat some brain food, do a couple social things, do some chores, do some exercise, enjoy some screen time, knowing that if I push myself too much in anything that I could bust and 'lose' the rest of my day. I'm finding that pacing myself is very important. A 'bust' may not be life threatening (as far as I know) but it has its consequences and sometimes I feel the effects of a bust for days, weeks. At least for me it is a big factor in knowing that ifwhen I do move out again, it will take a lot of my energy to do so. Woof, I'm tired now. thanks for reading through! Hoping to hear some constructive thoughts! [/INST] Communication </s>

How do you do with horrible memories? How do you make them stop hurting you in the now? Trauma happened this year. How do I continue living?

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> How do you do with horrible memories? How do you make them stop hurting you in the now? Trauma happened this year. How do I continue living? [/INST] Communication </s>

I feel so incredibly trapped. Two weeks ago I had an abortion and the day after I expressed I was upset he didnt ask how i was. He started the verbal abuse and its hard to remember what I had done so wrong. But I was in the shower and i said i wanted to leave. He put the shower head in my mouth and choked me after with his hands. He beat the sink with my hair dryer and cracked the porcelain. He needed to go another town and he calmed on the ride. Then I saw him texting his ex and idk I said that I knew it. We were in a woodsy area when no one around. He pushed my head to the center console and proceeded to punch the back of my neck. Almost home he said that when we get home he used to be the s out of me. I begged and pleaded that I would literally do anything. I fantasize about taking my pet and running to the nearest store. My car doesn't work and I didn't have a phone at the time. When we got home I took a shower again because Im only safe to cry there. I heard my pet crying. I got out of the shower to dry off and he brought my pet limp. He then held the back of my neck and made me watch punching my pet. he said that this was my fault. He grabbed a plastic bag and put it over his face. I disassociated because I believe that he was going to die. He threw him back in the cage and we went to bed. I had to pee and checked on him hurt but alive. That morning he was stiff. He made me put him in a bag and put him in the ground. His little toe was broken. I'm so scared I really don't know how to get out of this. I originally moved in with three of my pets and they oddly died within two months. He kept buying me new ones and claimed if i left he bought them they were his. Drunk he admitted to killing all of them. And tries to apologize for brutally murdering my friend like its not completely insane I was so sad to have to get an abortion but if i make it out my bean will never know the suffering they would have endured. I try to tell myself that much. I feel two huge losses. Im so weak to fight for safety. It all sounds so ridiculous i dont know if cops would even believe or be able to do anything for a rodent

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I feel so incredibly trapped. Two weeks ago I had an abortion and the day after I expressed I was upset he didnt ask how i was. He started the verbal abuse and its hard to remember what I had done so wrong. But I was in the shower and i said i wanted to leave. He put the shower head in my mouth and choked me after with his hands. He beat the sink with my hair dryer and cracked the porcelain. He needed to go another town and he calmed on the ride. Then I saw him texting his ex and idk I said that I knew it. We were in a woodsy area when no one around. He pushed my head to the center console and proceeded to punch the back of my neck. Almost home he said that when we get home he used to be the s out of me. I begged and pleaded that I would literally do anything. I fantasize about taking my pet and running to the nearest store. My car doesn't work and I didn't have a phone at the time. When we got home I took a shower again because Im only safe to cry there. I heard my pet crying. I got out of the shower to dry off and he brought my pet limp. He then held the back of my neck and made me watch punching my pet. he said that this was my fault. He grabbed a plastic bag and put it over his face. I disassociated because I believe that he was going to die. He threw him back in the cage and we went to bed. I had to pee and checked on him hurt but alive. That morning he was stiff. He made me put him in a bag and put him in the ground. His little toe was broken. I'm so scared I really don't know how to get out of this. I originally moved in with three of my pets and they oddly died within two months. He kept buying me new ones and claimed if i left he bought them they were his. Drunk he admitted to killing all of them. And tries to apologize for brutally murdering my friend like its not completely insane I was so sad to have to get an abortion but if i make it out my bean will never know the suffering they would have endured. I try to tell myself that much. I feel two huge losses. Im so weak to fight for safety. It all sounds so ridiculous i dont know if cops would even believe or be able to do anything for a rodent [/INST] Communication </s>

I don’t even know what to feel right to be honest but I’ll just explain my situation. I recently just got out of a relationship that was only about 6 months long. I saw “red flags” very quickly into the relationship but I always thought, “oh well we are just getting acclimated to each other and building trust”. But the verbal and physical(?) abuse just continued. He would say things such as... “Why were you at the gym for an hour and half? Where were you?” (Because I refused sex from him) “Do you touch yourself before I come over?” “Was someone here to do it?” “Did you not get it out of your system?” And so so so much more. He was constantly accusing me of talking to other men or even doing drugs which I hardly even drink. I would let him know how those things made me feel and he would try to manipulate the situation by saying that “he was allowed to ask questions” or “you acted like this, that’s why asked” or “I’m sorry YOU feel that way. What I’m confused about is the physical aspect of it all... He would grab my armslegsbody while cuddling or sitting or just doing whatever and would squeeze so hard, that I had to tell him to stop. But I had to tell him to stop several times before he actually would let up. He bruised me almost every time he did so which was often. I showed him the bruises and told him he needed to lighten his grip. He didn’t. On another occasion during sex, he began choking me (which I did not say I wanted). I couldn’t breath, I was pinned down, and I couldn’t talk either to tell him to stop. He got off soon after but I felt like I was going to pass out. I’m just now realizing that this probably wasn’t okay? I knew that there was mental abuse but I’m trying to figure out my emotions when it comes to him being physical with me. I’m just not sure if it even was abuse and if it was, do I cry, scream, talk to someone? I ended it just a few weeks ago and have been checking over my shoulder ever since because he is very unstable. I don’t think he’d do anything but I check to see if his car may be around and keep my blinds closed all the time.

DV knowledge

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I don’t even know what to feel right to be honest but I’ll just explain my situation. I recently just got out of a relationship that was only about 6 months long. I saw “red flags” very quickly into the relationship but I always thought, “oh well we are just getting acclimated to each other and building trust”. But the verbal and physical(?) abuse just continued. He would say things such as... “Why were you at the gym for an hour and half? Where were you?” (Because I refused sex from him) “Do you touch yourself before I come over?” “Was someone here to do it?” “Did you not get it out of your system?” And so so so much more. He was constantly accusing me of talking to other men or even doing drugs which I hardly even drink. I would let him know how those things made me feel and he would try to manipulate the situation by saying that “he was allowed to ask questions” or “you acted like this, that’s why asked” or “I’m sorry YOU feel that way. What I’m confused about is the physical aspect of it all... He would grab my armslegsbody while cuddling or sitting or just doing whatever and would squeeze so hard, that I had to tell him to stop. But I had to tell him to stop several times before he actually would let up. He bruised me almost every time he did so which was often. I showed him the bruises and told him he needed to lighten his grip. He didn’t. On another occasion during sex, he began choking me (which I did not say I wanted). I couldn’t breath, I was pinned down, and I couldn’t talk either to tell him to stop. He got off soon after but I felt like I was going to pass out. I’m just now realizing that this probably wasn’t okay? I knew that there was mental abuse but I’m trying to figure out my emotions when it comes to him being physical with me. I’m just not sure if it even was abuse and if it was, do I cry, scream, talk to someone? I ended it just a few weeks ago and have been checking over my shoulder ever since because he is very unstable. I don’t think he’d do anything but I check to see if his car may be around and keep my blinds closed all the time. [/INST] DV knowledge </s>

I've been thinking about reaching out to someone about my domestic violence situation because I don't know what other steps to take and I keep reading that you should tell someone about your situation. The problem is, theres only one person I think I could tell. They told me even though they were busy with 2 jobs I could take to them about anything or I could tell them if I was in a bad situation. This wasin the fall. The thing is, I tried to reach out asking for help a couple months later but they didnt respond and now I'm hesitant to do it again cause I'm afraid of bothering them. I said "i'm having really tough time" but they never texted me back. around the holidays i contacted them to let them know i had been really sick and in the hospital and they said they were sorry to hear that and they were just really busy working 2 jobs so sorry they havn't been around. I dont know what to do. I'm afraid of their mental health suffering if I tell them because its not like they can do anything to help me but listen. I feel like they have a lot going on and telling them that im being abused and have no clue how to get out of it will make their life more confusing and painful cause they cant do anything about it. I honestly think they might be lying about work so they dont have to talk to me. they havn't initiated contact with me in like 6 months, its always me texting them like once a month and them replying back saying "sorry, im busy". they said they have 2 jobs and are working 16 hours a day. they said they cant text at work but i see them posting on social media at work. i dont know how many who work 16 hours a day 5 days week but maybe I'm wrong. tldr: I just dont know what to do. I'm afraid of reaching out to the one person who i feel like i can actually tell about my domestic violence because I think they might be trying to be avoiding talking to me already.

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I've been thinking about reaching out to someone about my domestic violence situation because I don't know what other steps to take and I keep reading that you should tell someone about your situation. The problem is, theres only one person I think I could tell. They told me even though they were busy with 2 jobs I could take to them about anything or I could tell them if I was in a bad situation. This wasin the fall. The thing is, I tried to reach out asking for help a couple months later but they didnt respond and now I'm hesitant to do it again cause I'm afraid of bothering them. I said "i'm having really tough time" but they never texted me back. around the holidays i contacted them to let them know i had been really sick and in the hospital and they said they were sorry to hear that and they were just really busy working 2 jobs so sorry they havn't been around. I dont know what to do. I'm afraid of their mental health suffering if I tell them because its not like they can do anything to help me but listen. I feel like they have a lot going on and telling them that im being abused and have no clue how to get out of it will make their life more confusing and painful cause they cant do anything about it. I honestly think they might be lying about work so they dont have to talk to me. they havn't initiated contact with me in like 6 months, its always me texting them like once a month and them replying back saying "sorry, im busy". they said they have 2 jobs and are working 16 hours a day. they said they cant text at work but i see them posting on social media at work. i dont know how many who work 16 hours a day 5 days week but maybe I'm wrong. tldr: I just dont know what to do. I'm afraid of reaching out to the one person who i feel like i can actually tell about my domestic violence because I think they might be trying to be avoiding talking to me already. [/INST] Communication </s>

My partner has ptsd from foster homes, abusive adoptive mother and ex partner experience. I had an emotionally abusive father who drank a lot. ~~I have had worse nights than this~~, but this isn't a picnic. This rates just under the worst night now. Tonight, they screamed in my ear after drinking a bunch, and then told me the dogs tripped em and glasses fell behind the tv. I looked quickly, not there. I didn't even have a chance to say anything and immediately I didn't look hard enough bc I'm lazy and stupid. (I work ft, they can't at all atm due to health issues even before covid. We can't afford dr bills for the needed treatment, and it's a vicious cycle.) They yelled into each of my ears at dif times tonight bc I couldn't find the glasses they lost. Doesn't even matter they can't tell me when they last had them, only that I am at fault now and always. I'm "garbage", I'm "a slob", I'm "lazy", I'm "to not be trusted"... After I couldn't find them the first time, punching the couch in front of me while in front of me and yelling at me to go to bed was answer. I did. Not surprisingly, not even 10 min later, they forgot the series of events as they occurred, barged into bedroom I cannot lock nor barricade and pushed me into the living room to look again...bc they had been waiting "all night". I'm balling, terrified bc I know I could end up bruised tomorrow and terrified of the person I love and trust. Can't find the glasses still, looking everywhere I can, no luck. Being mocked and put down entire time but told that they need me bc they can't see. Now I can't see bc I'm crying so hard from my head and heart pounding from the yelling and pushing. I'm "worthless", I'm "stupid", it's all my fault, but they need me...they need me? Can't find it, get pushed into kitchen on floor as I stood there hunched over protecting my face. Hit floor, head hurts, heart hurts, crying. Please don't hurt me anymore I start repeating over and over as I cry and beg for mercy bc I can't find something I didn't lose. I got lucky bc I think he recognized my pleas as similar to his past and he let me go back to bed to hide again. I hate ptsd, I hate myself, I hate that if it wasn't for alcohol and ptsd and depression I wouldn't be here. And I hate that I make excuses...and have no friends other than my parents whom I won't involve in this mess more than I already have. I don't trust the police to not make things 10x worse. Update: got pushed around to different rooms for over 2 hours tonight, broken things in the house and it looks like we were robbed with everything tossed. I was grabbed, pushed, dodged punches, strangled, and my wrists twisted. I think this means I need a divorce, but I can't kick them out, I don't want them to commit suicide over it, and can't trust the place to not get trashed if I leave. They threatened to burn it all at one point. And I still love them...? Thank you for hearing me out. Any feedback is welcome, just please be gentle and understanding as much as possible. This is a tosser acct bc they know my other ones.

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My partner has ptsd from foster homes, abusive adoptive mother and ex partner experience. I had an emotionally abusive father who drank a lot. ~~I have had worse nights than this~~, but this isn't a picnic. This rates just under the worst night now. Tonight, they screamed in my ear after drinking a bunch, and then told me the dogs tripped em and glasses fell behind the tv. I looked quickly, not there. I didn't even have a chance to say anything and immediately I didn't look hard enough bc I'm lazy and stupid. (I work ft, they can't at all atm due to health issues even before covid. We can't afford dr bills for the needed treatment, and it's a vicious cycle.) They yelled into each of my ears at dif times tonight bc I couldn't find the glasses they lost. Doesn't even matter they can't tell me when they last had them, only that I am at fault now and always. I'm "garbage", I'm "a slob", I'm "lazy", I'm "to not be trusted"... After I couldn't find them the first time, punching the couch in front of me while in front of me and yelling at me to go to bed was answer. I did. Not surprisingly, not even 10 min later, they forgot the series of events as they occurred, barged into bedroom I cannot lock nor barricade and pushed me into the living room to look again...bc they had been waiting "all night". I'm balling, terrified bc I know I could end up bruised tomorrow and terrified of the person I love and trust. Can't find the glasses still, looking everywhere I can, no luck. Being mocked and put down entire time but told that they need me bc they can't see. Now I can't see bc I'm crying so hard from my head and heart pounding from the yelling and pushing. I'm "worthless", I'm "stupid", it's all my fault, but they need me...they need me? Can't find it, get pushed into kitchen on floor as I stood there hunched over protecting my face. Hit floor, head hurts, heart hurts, crying. Please don't hurt me anymore I start repeating over and over as I cry and beg for mercy bc I can't find something I didn't lose. I got lucky bc I think he recognized my pleas as similar to his past and he let me go back to bed to hide again. I hate ptsd, I hate myself, I hate that if it wasn't for alcohol and ptsd and depression I wouldn't be here. And I hate that I make excuses...and have no friends other than my parents whom I won't involve in this mess more than I already have. I don't trust the police to not make things 10x worse. Update: got pushed around to different rooms for over 2 hours tonight, broken things in the house and it looks like we were robbed with everything tossed. I was grabbed, pushed, dodged punches, strangled, and my wrists twisted. I think this means I need a divorce, but I can't kick them out, I don't want them to commit suicide over it, and can't trust the place to not get trashed if I leave. They threatened to burn it all at one point. And I still love them...? Thank you for hearing me out. Any feedback is welcome, just please be gentle and understanding as much as possible. This is a tosser acct bc they know my other ones. [/INST] Communication </s>

My 23yo son was at it again. He insults me, spat on me, calling me "dog" and more. He came into my room raging, spat and trashed my room. He threatened to break my things, laptop and other properties. He went on from 12 to 4, not letting me rest. He threatened me with knife in hand and violates my privacy everyday. I told him I'll ring the police and sought for an AVO, and he raged more. This on top of my depression, is not good for me. He often tells me to kill myself... I know no one cares one little bit cause I guess I brought it onto myself for bringing him into this world. I so regret it! Happy new year... hope this coming year will be better for all

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My 23yo son was at it again. He insults me, spat on me, calling me "dog" and more. He came into my room raging, spat and trashed my room. He threatened to break my things, laptop and other properties. He went on from 12 to 4, not letting me rest. He threatened me with knife in hand and violates my privacy everyday. I told him I'll ring the police and sought for an AVO, and he raged more. This on top of my depression, is not good for me. He often tells me to kill myself... I know no one cares one little bit cause I guess I brought it onto myself for bringing him into this world. I so regret it! Happy new year... hope this coming year will be better for all [/INST] Communication </s>

I am a 32 year old woman married to a 41 year old man. He lost his job of ten years 3 years ago and hasn’t been the same. He’s bounced from jobs and was unemployed before the pandemic hit. There was verbal abuse from the get go about 67 months into the relationship, that I did not recognize because I am a recently medicated bi polar woman. Everytime the abuse happened I had felt it was my fault because I was erratic emotionally. (But more sad or just energized) and it was hard to comprehend all of my thoughts. Early in the relationship the first scary fight we had he kept screaming and getting spit in my face, cornering me in the room, not leaving me alone when I asked, Calling me a whore, and would not go away from me while I pleaded. and I hit him off of me. This was after our engagement party which was such a fun time. I had felt so horrible and awful and abusive. Since then he calls any reaction to him abuse. And it has left me feeling like a monster, getting help, therapy, medicines, groups, meditating. For years now the cornering, chasing me, yelling at me, barraging me, yelling with spit flying at my face, trying to bust down the door of whatever room I am in, wrecking a room of the home.. has continued. I constantly fear more serious damage will happen, and when I was unmedicated I thought about killing myself everytime we would fight. And I have not one time touched him since that one time. I have practiced so much new knowledge hoping something would change it. I had considered myself the cause of this, the abuser because of the one time I hit him to get off of me. Over the summer I got successfully medicated for the first time in my life. And thinking clearly is very easy now. After some sessions with my therapist she told me he is being abusive. And she said it makes sense that I was trying to push hit away someone who is screaming at me while I plead to be left alone. In every fight we get into, I end up just saying I want to be left alone over and over and over. And it gets intense until I run away to a room and lock the door. And sometimes that doesn’t work and he bangs on the door and mocks me for crying. Sometimes the banging outside of the door harassment does not stop until I threaten to call cops, or call my parents and they drive an hour to pick me up. I have tried so many self improvement tactics hoping that if only I could do something different it would change. He is more soft spoken then me, has a more delicate frame than me. We are the same height but I’d definitely say people assume I am alpha in this situation. He never leaves my side. Doesn’t have friends outside of mine. And does not make plans for himself. He doesn’t make appointments for himself. Decide he needs a haircut. Floss his Mf teeth. I feel like I’ve had a bug on me honestly. Oh! And “I never give him enough affection... “ And wow. I have really been supportive during all of these transitions and taken on more bills. And never pressured him. Been patient in his job changes. I had continued to have sex with him regularly, made efforts to be sweeter. Tried to be so kind While working and cooking and taking care of us. But with all of this constant fighting every morning every night and then going to work and coming home to someone who clings to me and then yells at me... I feel so unappreciated, and not seen. I have been so alone in this. I had constantly thought I was abusive and deserved this. This entire time I have tried to make sense and try and out logic the fighting, and I’ve finally realized it’s him. He has not once done anything to account for the yelling or breaking things or chasing me. He apologizes only if he is caught by my parents picking me up. But whatever the fight that started it was always gets brought back up in the next fight. “Oh call the police again you love pigs” (I don’t you just made me feel so unsafe I thought you would hurt me) I love him and our nice times. It’s not all bad. But none of that changes things. And the good times don’t make sense of the clingy ness.. and the mothering and the amount of caretaker he wants me to be for him .. this yelling chasing forcing me from my home is abuse. And I will not take it. Our final fight happened and again my family picked me up. I talked to my therapist and we made a list of rules for me to return to the home for two days so I could be close to work. The rules are no talking about emotional things, just strictly house hold necessities. Sleeping in separate rooms. He agreed to them. I’m going to leave again for holidays and come back for work. And asked him to leave the apartment for a week or so, so I have time to think about all of this. I have my cats (children) here and this is a beautiful apartment I worked hard for. I want him to leave (no job) and I want a divorce. I think we are beyond marriage counseling because he’s never recognized that he has ever been a part of the problem here. He drinks I say something (a n y thing) and it becomes a full on blow out. I would like to tell him I want him to leave with a mediator here. So I was thinking a few weeks would be enough time for me to decide exactly what I need and not hastily. I would like to separate apartments, and begin divorce process. I know he doesn’t want this. But he is unwilling to change. And I don’t want this anymore. I’ve been dealing with this for five years and I’m done. I would rather be alone. Any advice? Related experience? Words of encouragement? Anything.

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I am a 32 year old woman married to a 41 year old man. He lost his job of ten years 3 years ago and hasn’t been the same. He’s bounced from jobs and was unemployed before the pandemic hit. There was verbal abuse from the get go about 67 months into the relationship, that I did not recognize because I am a recently medicated bi polar woman. Everytime the abuse happened I had felt it was my fault because I was erratic emotionally. (But more sad or just energized) and it was hard to comprehend all of my thoughts. Early in the relationship the first scary fight we had he kept screaming and getting spit in my face, cornering me in the room, not leaving me alone when I asked, Calling me a whore, and would not go away from me while I pleaded. and I hit him off of me. This was after our engagement party which was such a fun time. I had felt so horrible and awful and abusive. Since then he calls any reaction to him abuse. And it has left me feeling like a monster, getting help, therapy, medicines, groups, meditating. For years now the cornering, chasing me, yelling at me, barraging me, yelling with spit flying at my face, trying to bust down the door of whatever room I am in, wrecking a room of the home.. has continued. I constantly fear more serious damage will happen, and when I was unmedicated I thought about killing myself everytime we would fight. And I have not one time touched him since that one time. I have practiced so much new knowledge hoping something would change it. I had considered myself the cause of this, the abuser because of the one time I hit him to get off of me. Over the summer I got successfully medicated for the first time in my life. And thinking clearly is very easy now. After some sessions with my therapist she told me he is being abusive. And she said it makes sense that I was trying to push hit away someone who is screaming at me while I plead to be left alone. In every fight we get into, I end up just saying I want to be left alone over and over and over. And it gets intense until I run away to a room and lock the door. And sometimes that doesn’t work and he bangs on the door and mocks me for crying. Sometimes the banging outside of the door harassment does not stop until I threaten to call cops, or call my parents and they drive an hour to pick me up. I have tried so many self improvement tactics hoping that if only I could do something different it would change. He is more soft spoken then me, has a more delicate frame than me. We are the same height but I’d definitely say people assume I am alpha in this situation. He never leaves my side. Doesn’t have friends outside of mine. And does not make plans for himself. He doesn’t make appointments for himself. Decide he needs a haircut. Floss his Mf teeth. I feel like I’ve had a bug on me honestly. Oh! And “I never give him enough affection... “ And wow. I have really been supportive during all of these transitions and taken on more bills. And never pressured him. Been patient in his job changes. I had continued to have sex with him regularly, made efforts to be sweeter. Tried to be so kind While working and cooking and taking care of us. But with all of this constant fighting every morning every night and then going to work and coming home to someone who clings to me and then yells at me... I feel so unappreciated, and not seen. I have been so alone in this. I had constantly thought I was abusive and deserved this. This entire time I have tried to make sense and try and out logic the fighting, and I’ve finally realized it’s him. He has not once done anything to account for the yelling or breaking things or chasing me. He apologizes only if he is caught by my parents picking me up. But whatever the fight that started it was always gets brought back up in the next fight. “Oh call the police again you love pigs” (I don’t you just made me feel so unsafe I thought you would hurt me) I love him and our nice times. It’s not all bad. But none of that changes things. And the good times don’t make sense of the clingy ness.. and the mothering and the amount of caretaker he wants me to be for him .. this yelling chasing forcing me from my home is abuse. And I will not take it. Our final fight happened and again my family picked me up. I talked to my therapist and we made a list of rules for me to return to the home for two days so I could be close to work. The rules are no talking about emotional things, just strictly house hold necessities. Sleeping in separate rooms. He agreed to them. I’m going to leave again for holidays and come back for work. And asked him to leave the apartment for a week or so, so I have time to think about all of this. I have my cats (children) here and this is a beautiful apartment I worked hard for. I want him to leave (no job) and I want a divorce. I think we are beyond marriage counseling because he’s never recognized that he has ever been a part of the problem here. He drinks I say something (a n y thing) and it becomes a full on blow out. I would like to tell him I want him to leave with a mediator here. So I was thinking a few weeks would be enough time for me to decide exactly what I need and not hastily. I would like to separate apartments, and begin divorce process. I know he doesn’t want this. But he is unwilling to change. And I don’t want this anymore. I’ve been dealing with this for five years and I’m done. I would rather be alone. Any advice? Related experience? Words of encouragement? Anything. [/INST] Communication </s>

To the one that broke your heart from abuse? In my case, my ex was more emotionally abusive, though he grabbed my neck once and slapped me in the face. I know it’s irrational to think of him lovingly, but am I the only one who has ever considered going back? That was the leading reason we broke up. I still care for him. It’s been a year now. I know I sound crazy. I just want to hear others thoughts.

DV knowledge

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> To the one that broke your heart from abuse? In my case, my ex was more emotionally abusive, though he grabbed my neck once and slapped me in the face. I know it’s irrational to think of him lovingly, but am I the only one who has ever considered going back? That was the leading reason we broke up. I still care for him. It’s been a year now. I know I sound crazy. I just want to hear others thoughts. [/INST] DV knowledge </s>

I had a week off work at the end of November 2020 due to injuries that he had given me. I was late to work one day at the end of December due to his need for me to stay awake with him on a night. I needed a day off a couple of weeks ago as I had just started prosecution against him and I’m tired af and stressed af. After I took that day off I was informed I’m on sickness monitoring. I have just taken the weekend off because I’ve had more time with police and done another statement about him contacting me again (breaking bail for the second time in less than two weeks). I’m scared to go back to work because they seem to have no patience for my time off. I don’t want to lose my job. I’m already in so much debt because of him.

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I had a week off work at the end of November 2020 due to injuries that he had given me. I was late to work one day at the end of December due to his need for me to stay awake with him on a night. I needed a day off a couple of weeks ago as I had just started prosecution against him and I’m tired af and stressed af. After I took that day off I was informed I’m on sickness monitoring. I have just taken the weekend off because I’ve had more time with police and done another statement about him contacting me again (breaking bail for the second time in less than two weeks). I’m scared to go back to work because they seem to have no patience for my time off. I don’t want to lose my job. I’m already in so much debt because of him. [/INST] Communication </s>

I went across the country to be safe from my abuser. He was so manipulative and narcissistic. I am so proud of myself. But it was over 28+ of time with driving, hotels, stops for gas. And pain and aggravation. I made it 1223 late afternoon. I’m still trying to get myself back together. I am still grieving after the loss of everything (home, relationship, independence, money, and just not knowing what’s next). I’ll be staying with mom for awhile until I can get back on my feet. I have unpacking to do still. Still adjusting to new time zone and new life down here. I have connected to a DV organization to help me get back on my feet as I get through this adjustment and terrifying time. I just want words of encouragement or advice from anyone who has done any of this etc. I’m just trying to stay strong.

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I went across the country to be safe from my abuser. He was so manipulative and narcissistic. I am so proud of myself. But it was over 28+ of time with driving, hotels, stops for gas. And pain and aggravation. I made it 1223 late afternoon. I’m still trying to get myself back together. I am still grieving after the loss of everything (home, relationship, independence, money, and just not knowing what’s next). I’ll be staying with mom for awhile until I can get back on my feet. I have unpacking to do still. Still adjusting to new time zone and new life down here. I have connected to a DV organization to help me get back on my feet as I get through this adjustment and terrifying time. I just want words of encouragement or advice from anyone who has done any of this etc. I’m just trying to stay strong. [/INST] Communication </s>

My husband is my abuser and sexually assaulted me. I already had to face him once in court and he looked CRAZED and that was at the order of protection hearing. Now we are getting divorced and I will have to face him idk how many times. I had nightmares about him almost non stop since i got the order and I'm terrified of what will happen when it's over. We have 2 kids together so I cant just cut him off. I feel so weak and like I cant do this. How do I face him in court?

Legal

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My husband is my abuser and sexually assaulted me. I already had to face him once in court and he looked CRAZED and that was at the order of protection hearing. Now we are getting divorced and I will have to face him idk how many times. I had nightmares about him almost non stop since i got the order and I'm terrified of what will happen when it's over. We have 2 kids together so I cant just cut him off. I feel so weak and like I cant do this. How do I face him in court? [/INST] Legal </s>

It absolutely astounds me when the abuser goes on like the victim. Like THEY were the one getting abused. Speaks volumes... don’t you think? How frustrating.

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> It absolutely astounds me when the abuser goes on like the victim. Like THEY were the one getting abused. Speaks volumes... don’t you think? How frustrating. [/INST] Communication </s>

Yesterday, I was cooking lunch for my 2 kids and 2 step kids while my partner was napping on the sofa. Basically he woke up grouchy and he threw his shoe at me from across the room. For context, he got up and went in the kitchen where I was cooking and told me I’m ruining the pasta - I wasn’t, it was cooked absolutely fine. He didn’t like that I told him that because it was ‘back chatting’ and he’d had enough of the kids doing it all day so he snapped. The thing is he did it in front of all 4 kids and narrowly missing my 1 year old son. I’m not sure if I’m just overreacting in thinking that it’s domestic abuse? This isn’t the first time things like this have happened though. He’s never physically hit me. He’s grabbed me by the collar and rubbed a dirty nappy in my face, thrown thingssmashed things and punched a hole in my wall. But never hit me. And for the record the shoe didn’t actually hit me or my son, it was blocked by the baby gate. I think I already know the answer to my question but I’m just confused and very lost and I’m not sure what to do.

DV knowledge

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Yesterday, I was cooking lunch for my 2 kids and 2 step kids while my partner was napping on the sofa. Basically he woke up grouchy and he threw his shoe at me from across the room. For context, he got up and went in the kitchen where I was cooking and told me I’m ruining the pasta - I wasn’t, it was cooked absolutely fine. He didn’t like that I told him that because it was ‘back chatting’ and he’d had enough of the kids doing it all day so he snapped. The thing is he did it in front of all 4 kids and narrowly missing my 1 year old son. I’m not sure if I’m just overreacting in thinking that it’s domestic abuse? This isn’t the first time things like this have happened though. He’s never physically hit me. He’s grabbed me by the collar and rubbed a dirty nappy in my face, thrown thingssmashed things and punched a hole in my wall. But never hit me. And for the record the shoe didn’t actually hit me or my son, it was blocked by the baby gate. I think I already know the answer to my question but I’m just confused and very lost and I’m not sure what to do. [/INST] DV knowledge </s>

Anytime I try to leave he always takes her away. I can’t take it anymore and I don’t wanna leave without her but I don’t know what else to do. I’d I leave her I’m scared what he’s gonna do, at this point I’m tired I just wanna give up on everything. I’m honestly starting to think this is what I deserve and it’s all my fault, I’ve started to internalize the things he’s says. I hate myself, I feel like a bad mother.

Childbearing

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Anytime I try to leave he always takes her away. I can’t take it anymore and I don’t wanna leave without her but I don’t know what else to do. I’d I leave her I’m scared what he’s gonna do, at this point I’m tired I just wanna give up on everything. I’m honestly starting to think this is what I deserve and it’s all my fault, I’ve started to internalize the things he’s says. I hate myself, I feel like a bad mother. [/INST] Childbearing </s>

I don't know what to do when my husband gaslights me.

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I don't know what to do when my husband gaslights me. [/INST] Communication </s>

My husband and I haven’t had the best time during my pregnancy. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and haven’t been able to let me husband back in the home for a week because of a restraining order. I want him to be there for the birth of our child in 9 weeks, I also want him around but my family is trying to keep him away from me and I’m still having anxiety attacks daily over the whole situation. A few months ago I confronted my husband over where our money from our savings had went. He choked me in the hallway next to our bedroom during an argument about me wanting to know what happened to it and him saying it was none of my business and I’m crazy. He also broke my laptop and iPad a few days prior and I’m a graphic designer and we don’t have much savings anymore because of the pandemic we’re very strapped for cash right now and couldn’t replace them. Last week we were in an argument because I wanted him to stop smoking so much weed and he called me annoying and said I need to be submissive. Then he threw my wedding band out the window. And two days after that I was out on a two mile walk with the dog and when I got back he was in a mood and ended up hitting me several times as hard as he could in my right arm and biting me. I was so upset I called the police and now I regret it. He suffers from PTSD and I have been trying to get him to go get treatment for it and his anger problems because 95% of the time he’s amazing. Romantic, nurturing, loving and helpful. He does things for me all the time without me asking. He’s the perfect partner 95% of the time. But being locked up together and both of us having difficulties during Covid lockdown has made us argue more then ever. Currently there’s a restraining order and he can’t be around me until we can change that. But the court doesn’t want to make changes until the next court date. I need that to stop now. Here’s my other problem. Because I went to the hospital that day my parents are extremely worried and because they are both retired they have been taking turns driving the two hour trip to where I live to keep me company. It hasn’t been that bad but I really miss my husband. I’m having extreme feelings of anxiety everyday and have attacks where I have trouble breathing and start crying uncontrollably. My family is almost forcing me to give up on my marriage because of all of this and I’m not ready to. Because my father was a judge for over 30 years he’s delt with many many cases and keeps telling me it’s going to keep escalating until I’m dead or my son is hurt. He thinks my husband can’t change in enough time for the birth of my son and is doing a good job of talking to me about everything during this time. I tell him honestly how I feel and he explains to me that everything I’m feeling is normal and a lot of women go through this but he’s convinced my husband will always be an abuser. Help. What do I do here. I love my husband... I love my son. I want to have a family with them but I also don’t want to be hurt anymore. When do I know if he’s had enough counseling?

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My husband and I haven’t had the best time during my pregnancy. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and haven’t been able to let me husband back in the home for a week because of a restraining order. I want him to be there for the birth of our child in 9 weeks, I also want him around but my family is trying to keep him away from me and I’m still having anxiety attacks daily over the whole situation. A few months ago I confronted my husband over where our money from our savings had went. He choked me in the hallway next to our bedroom during an argument about me wanting to know what happened to it and him saying it was none of my business and I’m crazy. He also broke my laptop and iPad a few days prior and I’m a graphic designer and we don’t have much savings anymore because of the pandemic we’re very strapped for cash right now and couldn’t replace them. Last week we were in an argument because I wanted him to stop smoking so much weed and he called me annoying and said I need to be submissive. Then he threw my wedding band out the window. And two days after that I was out on a two mile walk with the dog and when I got back he was in a mood and ended up hitting me several times as hard as he could in my right arm and biting me. I was so upset I called the police and now I regret it. He suffers from PTSD and I have been trying to get him to go get treatment for it and his anger problems because 95% of the time he’s amazing. Romantic, nurturing, loving and helpful. He does things for me all the time without me asking. He’s the perfect partner 95% of the time. But being locked up together and both of us having difficulties during Covid lockdown has made us argue more then ever. Currently there’s a restraining order and he can’t be around me until we can change that. But the court doesn’t want to make changes until the next court date. I need that to stop now. Here’s my other problem. Because I went to the hospital that day my parents are extremely worried and because they are both retired they have been taking turns driving the two hour trip to where I live to keep me company. It hasn’t been that bad but I really miss my husband. I’m having extreme feelings of anxiety everyday and have attacks where I have trouble breathing and start crying uncontrollably. My family is almost forcing me to give up on my marriage because of all of this and I’m not ready to. Because my father was a judge for over 30 years he’s delt with many many cases and keeps telling me it’s going to keep escalating until I’m dead or my son is hurt. He thinks my husband can’t change in enough time for the birth of my son and is doing a good job of talking to me about everything during this time. I tell him honestly how I feel and he explains to me that everything I’m feeling is normal and a lot of women go through this but he’s convinced my husband will always be an abuser. Help. What do I do here. I love my husband... I love my son. I want to have a family with them but I also don’t want to be hurt anymore. When do I know if he’s had enough counseling? [/INST] Communication </s>

Shit hit the fan almost a week ago now and I've been back living with my mom for 4 days. I only knew it was a matter of time before he contacted me. He sent a cute little message saying he's sorry, he wants to coparent, he wants to be united raising our baby, that he loves us- and for a second I second guessed my decision to file a VPO. I wondered if I did the right thing and if I had overreacted. I got scared because I knew once he was served he would be very angry and probably find a way to contact me again and threaten me. But then I had to remember that he put the baby's life in danger when he put his hands on me, and I had to remember that his abuse had been going on for a year and that there was always an apology and a love bomb at the beginning of the cycle. Had to remember that what I was doing was to protect myself, and my baby and that even though I had been desensitized to a lot of the abuse he was dishing out, I had multiple people that confirmed his actions were indeed forms of abuse. I'm just trying to remain calm, and unafraid, leading up to this court date..

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Shit hit the fan almost a week ago now and I've been back living with my mom for 4 days. I only knew it was a matter of time before he contacted me. He sent a cute little message saying he's sorry, he wants to coparent, he wants to be united raising our baby, that he loves us- and for a second I second guessed my decision to file a VPO. I wondered if I did the right thing and if I had overreacted. I got scared because I knew once he was served he would be very angry and probably find a way to contact me again and threaten me. But then I had to remember that he put the baby's life in danger when he put his hands on me, and I had to remember that his abuse had been going on for a year and that there was always an apology and a love bomb at the beginning of the cycle. Had to remember that what I was doing was to protect myself, and my baby and that even though I had been desensitized to a lot of the abuse he was dishing out, I had multiple people that confirmed his actions were indeed forms of abuse. I'm just trying to remain calm, and unafraid, leading up to this court date.. [/INST] Communication </s>

I was recently attacked by my now ex partner who choke dragged me from one room to another the continued to suffocate me. In which i honestly thought i was going to loose my life. We are over. The police are involved. Im scared of him. But im desensitized to it when i talk to friends about the situation im very nonchalant where as they are really shoked and worried for me... Im a pretty it is what it is person. But something feels strange that i just dont care to an extent i was attacked??

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I was recently attacked by my now ex partner who choke dragged me from one room to another the continued to suffocate me. In which i honestly thought i was going to loose my life. We are over. The police are involved. Im scared of him. But im desensitized to it when i talk to friends about the situation im very nonchalant where as they are really shoked and worried for me... Im a pretty it is what it is person. But something feels strange that i just dont care to an extent i was attacked?? [/INST] Communication </s>

(I don't want to give out too many details because my friend uses reddit sometimes and may be on this subreddit.) Long story short, my boyfriend was abusive recently; the police were called. I told my friend, and she ended up telling my family despite me begging her not to. I kind of threw her under the bus and made her out to be crazy to my family. When I made it clear to her that I don't intend to leave him (the abuse was during a mental health crisis, and he's getting help now), she started saying that I'm lying about the abuse and giving domestic violence victims a bad reputation. She was vicious. I don't know if she actually thinks I'm lying, or if she was just trying to get me to defend myself and say it was true so that she could screenshot it and send proof to my family. I basically just have to sit here and let her say that I'm lying in case that is what she's trying to do. Her behavior doesn't make sense, though. She texted my boyfriend and said that he could go ahead and kill me now that she has blocked me and no one would know now (basically implying that no one will check up on me now that she's not talking to me). If she really thought that my boyfriend would kill me, she wouldn't say that - that could push him over the edge if he were really that violent. My boyfriend and I are just trying to move on. We're both seeking help. She won't let it go, though. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm better off because she's being abusive herself. What would you do?

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> (I don't want to give out too many details because my friend uses reddit sometimes and may be on this subreddit.) Long story short, my boyfriend was abusive recently; the police were called. I told my friend, and she ended up telling my family despite me begging her not to. I kind of threw her under the bus and made her out to be crazy to my family. When I made it clear to her that I don't intend to leave him (the abuse was during a mental health crisis, and he's getting help now), she started saying that I'm lying about the abuse and giving domestic violence victims a bad reputation. She was vicious. I don't know if she actually thinks I'm lying, or if she was just trying to get me to defend myself and say it was true so that she could screenshot it and send proof to my family. I basically just have to sit here and let her say that I'm lying in case that is what she's trying to do. Her behavior doesn't make sense, though. She texted my boyfriend and said that he could go ahead and kill me now that she has blocked me and no one would know now (basically implying that no one will check up on me now that she's not talking to me). If she really thought that my boyfriend would kill me, she wouldn't say that - that could push him over the edge if he were really that violent. My boyfriend and I are just trying to move on. We're both seeking help. She won't let it go, though. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm better off because she's being abusive herself. What would you do? [/INST] Communication </s>

This is my first time coming to the internet for advice . i feel like i have no where else to turn to for support or any advice without feeling like a burden ... I moved in with my boyfriend and its been great im starting the new year off well. He takes me everywhere since i dont know how to drive. Im trying to learn but he hardly teaches me . he says hes going to so that i can save money and not have to go to driving school . but still i havent learned anything. I wokeup him up this morning because he needed to take me to my doctors appointment. I tried waking him up by kissing him and gently rubbing his shoulder and he wouldn't move (hes a heavy sleeper) i told him wakeup you have to take me to my appointment so hes getting dressed and the whole time hes cursing and complaining about how hes tired of driving me everywhere. So i say okay fine ill just take an Uber. and i walk away and he rushes towards me and slaps the shit out of me !! And says you just woke me up made me get ready for nothing ?! I was so hurt i left the house and called my ride . i have a bruise on my cheek and my doctor asked me about it . i told her and she asked me if i wanted to make a report and i said . i dont know what to do . i feel like this was my fault..

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> This is my first time coming to the internet for advice . i feel like i have no where else to turn to for support or any advice without feeling like a burden ... I moved in with my boyfriend and its been great im starting the new year off well. He takes me everywhere since i dont know how to drive. Im trying to learn but he hardly teaches me . he says hes going to so that i can save money and not have to go to driving school . but still i havent learned anything. I wokeup him up this morning because he needed to take me to my doctors appointment. I tried waking him up by kissing him and gently rubbing his shoulder and he wouldn't move (hes a heavy sleeper) i told him wakeup you have to take me to my appointment so hes getting dressed and the whole time hes cursing and complaining about how hes tired of driving me everywhere. So i say okay fine ill just take an Uber. and i walk away and he rushes towards me and slaps the shit out of me !! And says you just woke me up made me get ready for nothing ?! I was so hurt i left the house and called my ride . i have a bruise on my cheek and my doctor asked me about it . i told her and she asked me if i wanted to make a report and i said . i dont know what to do . i feel like this was my fault.. [/INST] Communication </s>

My abuser throws out put downs in casual convo and I move on like it’s normal. Example, he was asking me this morning if I wanted to go with him somewhere. When I declined he said, “ what are you going to do lay around all day tweeting about trump? You probably have someone you text about that stuff “ I didn’t even ask what he meant, just moved convo forward like it’s normal to say things like that to people. He likes to insinuate that I’m cheating once in awhile. I feel so fucked up to be accepting this behavior. It’s embarrassing that I’m a strong person everywhere in my life but with him. With him, I’m a weak shell of myself. Fearful and self doubting. Trapped.

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My abuser throws out put downs in casual convo and I move on like it’s normal. Example, he was asking me this morning if I wanted to go with him somewhere. When I declined he said, “ what are you going to do lay around all day tweeting about trump? You probably have someone you text about that stuff “ I didn’t even ask what he meant, just moved convo forward like it’s normal to say things like that to people. He likes to insinuate that I’m cheating once in awhile. I feel so fucked up to be accepting this behavior. It’s embarrassing that I’m a strong person everywhere in my life but with him. With him, I’m a weak shell of myself. Fearful and self doubting. Trapped. [/INST] Communication </s>

Hi All! I (33F) have been married for more than 5 years and have a 3 year old. My marriage has been full of physical assault, sexual coercion, verbal abuse, and gaslighting. Me, my husband and daughter recently immigrated to a new country and lived with my sister’s family for a few months. Once my husband and I got new jobs, the three of us moved out to an apartment near to my sister’s place. 4 days after moving in, my husband, started touching my body after I had said no. I said no again and removed my hands. He leapt over my sleeping daughter and struck me across the face. It wasn’t the first time he had hit me, but it was the first time in my daughter’s presence. I moved out with my daughter the next day and have been giving the situation a lot of thought. In the last 4 weeks since leaving the house, there have been no apologies. My parents and my sister also stood by me when I finalised my decision to separate from him. Once he received the letter from my lawyer he came crawling back, called my parents and other family members telling them he had made a big mistake and wants to reconcile. He has deceived me multiple times during the relationship, so I’m not falling for that. But unfortunately now my parents have been influenced. They say that they don’t like the guy, and that I should do what I want to, but they recently said hurtful things like, “don’t involve us, this is embarrassing for us”. I’m from a south Asian family, divorce is still a taboo, so I wasn’t expecting them to cheer me on, but is there some way to convince the family to stand by me? I’m a financially independent woman, I’m well educated, I got a decent job in the new country before my husband did, and I have been the level headed kid of the family. I have done what I was told to for as long as I remember. I feel betrayed right now, given that I have never given my parents any trouble, and this is the only time I’m “not playing by the rules”. I feel alone. Has anyone overcome something similar?

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Hi All! I (33F) have been married for more than 5 years and have a 3 year old. My marriage has been full of physical assault, sexual coercion, verbal abuse, and gaslighting. Me, my husband and daughter recently immigrated to a new country and lived with my sister’s family for a few months. Once my husband and I got new jobs, the three of us moved out to an apartment near to my sister’s place. 4 days after moving in, my husband, started touching my body after I had said no. I said no again and removed my hands. He leapt over my sleeping daughter and struck me across the face. It wasn’t the first time he had hit me, but it was the first time in my daughter’s presence. I moved out with my daughter the next day and have been giving the situation a lot of thought. In the last 4 weeks since leaving the house, there have been no apologies. My parents and my sister also stood by me when I finalised my decision to separate from him. Once he received the letter from my lawyer he came crawling back, called my parents and other family members telling them he had made a big mistake and wants to reconcile. He has deceived me multiple times during the relationship, so I’m not falling for that. But unfortunately now my parents have been influenced. They say that they don’t like the guy, and that I should do what I want to, but they recently said hurtful things like, “don’t involve us, this is embarrassing for us”. I’m from a south Asian family, divorce is still a taboo, so I wasn’t expecting them to cheer me on, but is there some way to convince the family to stand by me? I’m a financially independent woman, I’m well educated, I got a decent job in the new country before my husband did, and I have been the level headed kid of the family. I have done what I was told to for as long as I remember. I feel betrayed right now, given that I have never given my parents any trouble, and this is the only time I’m “not playing by the rules”. I feel alone. Has anyone overcome something similar? [/INST] Communication </s>

How to forgive self for living what u lived. For not asking for help when needed. How to live now, knowing that u experienced severe domestic abuse? How do you internally apologize self for what put self in?

Legal

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> How to forgive self for living what u lived. For not asking for help when needed. How to live now, knowing that u experienced severe domestic abuse? How do you internally apologize self for what put self in? [/INST] Legal </s>

I’ve been seeing my partner for nearly a year now and it keeps getting worse and worse The hitting has increased. The abusive, gaslighting, manipulation and constantly demanding all of my energy... I’m absolutely exhausted and I can’t do this anymore I’ve lost so many friends because of this person because nobody wants to be around me anymore My best friend of 10 years distances herself entirely because she is ‘protecting her own energy’ from this And I feel so isolated and like I can’t reach out to anybody Every time we break up I have an overwhelming amount of separation anxiety and I just run back because of the trauma bond They have even admitted themselves that they know there is a trauma bond between us They are a really really intense stalker, harasser as well They create profiles and emails and additionally works at a centre for the national post office so they can access everyone’s private information like address and phone number I feel so sick and trapped and I honestly have no idea what to do, I feel like they could hurt me more if I left Btw I’m in Melbourne Australia; every time I call 1800 respect they just tell me to leave them but it’s extremely difficult without any emotional support around me

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I’ve been seeing my partner for nearly a year now and it keeps getting worse and worse The hitting has increased. The abusive, gaslighting, manipulation and constantly demanding all of my energy... I’m absolutely exhausted and I can’t do this anymore I’ve lost so many friends because of this person because nobody wants to be around me anymore My best friend of 10 years distances herself entirely because she is ‘protecting her own energy’ from this And I feel so isolated and like I can’t reach out to anybody Every time we break up I have an overwhelming amount of separation anxiety and I just run back because of the trauma bond They have even admitted themselves that they know there is a trauma bond between us They are a really really intense stalker, harasser as well They create profiles and emails and additionally works at a centre for the national post office so they can access everyone’s private information like address and phone number I feel so sick and trapped and I honestly have no idea what to do, I feel like they could hurt me more if I left Btw I’m in Melbourne Australia; every time I call 1800 respect they just tell me to leave them but it’s extremely difficult without any emotional support around me [/INST] Communication </s>

tw- violence Throwaway for obvious reasons. I was in a short-lived relationship that ended in a violent episode where my x choked me twice before leaving, once resulting in my passing out. After the episode he left and unknown to me, filed a police report claiming we had a fight but stating he wasn’t injured and didn’t want to file charges or do anything. The officer noted he wasn’t injured. In my state, if he was, they would have immediately come to at least talk to me and probably arrest me. Nothing happened and I wasn’t even aware until 5 days later that he had taken any action. At the time, I was stunned and in shock that this person had tried to kill me and it took me awhile to process the gravity of it so I didn’t immediately file charges. I went to three intense trauma therapy sessions in the span of five days to try to process it. My x had been staying in my home and had some expensive items delivered after the incident so on the advice of some lawyer friends I reached out to him to let him know these items had arrived. He never answered me over the weekend and the following Monday went to family court to file for a temporary order of protection. In my state anyone and everyone can be granted a TOP. The order was complete fabrication where he contradicts his own report that he made with the police. When I was served the sheriffs advised me to go and file criminal charges, as I was bruised and visibly injured. So I did. The fact that he’d make such grandiose false claims made me incredibly fearful of him and what he was capable of. I felt like I was dealing w a true sociopath. The results of these actions are that there’s a criminal trial again him and a civil action against me. So now the civil trial is coming to a head. Given that he’s a defendant in a criminal case, everyone expected him to let the family court order against me expire because having him testify to a fabricated story on the record can and will be used against him in criminal court. I have an attorney who has met with his “victim” advocate multiple times and while she agrees with my attorney that this was filed to try to intimidate me and because abusers try to blame-shift, she can’t compel him to not to force a trial. So a trial in this family case awaits me and a criminal trial in the charges I filed probably also awaits me. I haven’t seen him since the incident. The trial will be on zoom but despite this, I am terrified. Truly terrified. He’s coming out with these clearly doctored photos claiming injuries and I will have to relive that day in his presence again in order to refute his nonsense claims. I will have to sit there and not react to obvious lies and fabrications. I will have to try to remain calm as this person who tried to kill me lies repeatedly. I will have to contain my fear so I can speak my truth. And I think he will enjoy seeing how terrified I am. I truly do. And I think seeing me will increase his obsession with me when all I want is for him to forget I ever existed. I’m not really looking for advice. This person tried to kill me over a very short relationship ending. I guess I just want to say that this is why victims don’t come forward— the pure terror of having to relive the terrible incident over again, having to be non reactive to false claims made by someone who tried to end your life, having to deal with a legal system that allows this shit to go on. Having to deal him potentially winning in a court where the burden of proof is much lower and him reigniting his feelings about me. I understand why anyone and everyone should be able to file for these orders. But this tactic by abusers to try to paint themselves as victims is disgusting and should warrant criminal consequences in order to deter them.

Communication

<s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> tw- violence Throwaway for obvious reasons. I was in a short-lived relationship that ended in a violent episode where my x choked me twice before leaving, once resulting in my passing out. After the episode he left and unknown to me, filed a police report claiming we had a fight but stating he wasn’t injured and didn’t want to file charges or do anything. The officer noted he wasn’t injured. In my state, if he was, they would have immediately come to at least talk to me and probably arrest me. Nothing happened and I wasn’t even aware until 5 days later that he had taken any action. At the time, I was stunned and in shock that this person had tried to kill me and it took me awhile to process the gravity of it so I didn’t immediately file charges. I went to three intense trauma therapy sessions in the span of five days to try to process it. My x had been staying in my home and had some expensive items delivered after the incident so on the advice of some lawyer friends I reached out to him to let him know these items had arrived. He never answered me over the weekend and the following Monday went to family court to file for a temporary order of protection. In my state anyone and everyone can be granted a TOP. The order was complete fabrication where he contradicts his own report that he made with the police. When I was served the sheriffs advised me to go and file criminal charges, as I was bruised and visibly injured. So I did. The fact that he’d make such grandiose false claims made me incredibly fearful of him and what he was capable of. I felt like I was dealing w a true sociopath. The results of these actions are that there’s a criminal trial again him and a civil action against me. So now the civil trial is coming to a head. Given that he’s a defendant in a criminal case, everyone expected him to let the family court order against me expire because having him testify to a fabricated story on the record can and will be used against him in criminal court. I have an attorney who has met with his “victim” advocate multiple times and while she agrees with my attorney that this was filed to try to intimidate me and because abusers try to blame-shift, she can’t compel him to not to force a trial. So a trial in this family case awaits me and a criminal trial in the charges I filed probably also awaits me. I haven’t seen him since the incident. The trial will be on zoom but despite this, I am terrified. Truly terrified. He’s coming out with these clearly doctored photos claiming injuries and I will have to relive that day in his presence again in order to refute his nonsense claims. I will have to sit there and not react to obvious lies and fabrications. I will have to try to remain calm as this person who tried to kill me lies repeatedly. I will have to contain my fear so I can speak my truth. And I think he will enjoy seeing how terrified I am. I truly do. And I think seeing me will increase his obsession with me when all I want is for him to forget I ever existed. I’m not really looking for advice. This person tried to kill me over a very short relationship ending. I guess I just want to say that this is why victims don’t come forward— the pure terror of having to relive the terrible incident over again, having to be non reactive to false claims made by someone who tried to end your life, having to deal with a legal system that allows this shit to go on. Having to deal him potentially winning in a court where the burden of proof is much lower and him reigniting his feelings about me. I understand why anyone and everyone should be able to file for these orders. But this tactic by abusers to try to paint themselves as victims is disgusting and should warrant criminal consequences in order to deter them. [/INST] Communication </s>