conversations
listlengths 2
2
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stringclasses 3
values | url
stringlengths 29
124
|
|---|---|---|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I normally use online recipes. I once tried cooking books but i don't really like the taste of burnt paper."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "The last time I tried cooking books, the IRS got involved and now I'm in witness protection."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/11epqdq/i_normally_use_online_recipes_i_once_tried/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "As a new bride, I only want to make one thing in life hard for my husband."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "OH! I know, I know!!! It's WHERE to eat out for dinner, RIGHT? I'm right, I'm right, aren't I? I mean, after 31 years of marriage, what else could it possibly be?"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/x116ne/as_a_new_bride_i_only_want_to_make_one_thing_in/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "A vegan got offended by my shirt.\n​\n\n[I love Vegans. They are Delicious. Funny T-Rex T-Shirt](https://i.redd.it/y1swldn19o521.png)"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "You should be ashamed...that purchasing information isn't included somewhere in this thread."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/a8co9f/a_vegan_got_offended_by_my_shirt/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "A man walks into a church holding a banana, he says......."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Now it’s my turn father Chris!"
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/jl4vhp/a_man_walks_into_a_church_holding_a_banana_he_says/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Can you count broski?"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/xtizz0/i_just_found_out_im_colorblind_the_diagnosis_came/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "10/10/10 get\ni'm sitting in a hospital and waiting for my first baby to arrive.\ni'll never forget her birthday :)"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "10 sec later someone called me to get wrist band.\nit's all done.\nhaven't seen her yet though."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/dpg4x/101010_get/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Went shopping for cherries and a microphone- bought a bing bought a boom."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "i (now) see what you did there, but i had to google 'bing cherry' before it made sense."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/7udo8g/went_shopping_for_cherries_and_a_microphone/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I can't stand Italians and their slanty eyes and , , , \"no wait that's italics\"."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "C’mon! That’s funny!!"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/tyvcue/i_cant_stand_italians_and_their_slanty_eyes_and/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I tried to start a club for Erectile Dysfunction, but it was a total flop, nobody came."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "The entrance requirements were too hard?"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/7eob9o/i_tried_to_start_a_club_for_erectile_dysfunction/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I was voted \"Most Likely to Rig a School Election.\""
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Hillary, is that you?"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/4i7u8v/i_was_voted_most_likely_to_rig_a_school_election/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I take selfies on strangers cameras so they can remember me.\nWhenever I take a picture for a tourist I always like to flip the camera around for at least 1 Pic of me so they can remember the nice man who took their picture."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Obviously not a problem for you right now in the age of covid-19"
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/hjx6x3/i_take_selfies_on_strangers_cameras_so_they_can/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "There’s a new movie about premature ejaculators, it’s coming soon"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "The premature ejaculation society are having a meeting tonight. There's no dress code, just come in your pants."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/lsznrq/theres_a_new_movie_about_premature_ejaculators/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Rickroll equilibrium.\nI can give you.\n\nI will betray you.\n\nPlease run in the desert.\n\nPlease Touch.\n\nI have to say goodbye.\n\nI told a lie that will not hurt.\n\nhttp://www.translationparty.com/"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "http://www.translationparty.com/#1981416\n\nHoly crap..."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/9c2ik/rickroll_equilibrium/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I have a degree in climate change, and in ten years it turns into two degrees."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I’ll accept this…. To a degree"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/qhgy6w/i_have_a_degree_in_climate_change_and_in_ten/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Crossdressing is a drag"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Drag racing is difficult because of the high heels."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/eno7pw/crossdressing_is_a_drag/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Coronavirus is what I used to call in sick with instead of saying beer flu."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I don't usually get sick, but when I do I get dosequisvirus."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/etdha0/coronavirus_is_what_i_used_to_call_in_sick_with/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "A mathematician walks into a bar and asks for ten times the normal number of drinks anyone else has. \"Wow,\" says the barkeep, \"That's an order of magnitude.\""
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says \"You're all idiots\", and pours two beers."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/9imfz/a_mathematician_walks_into_a_bar_and_asks_for_ten/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Finding the right analogy is as hard as...as hard as..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I'm trying to give up sexual innuendos, but it's hard ... very hard!"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/9j0kkq/finding_the_right_analogy_is_as_hard_asas_hard_as/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "One of my favorite. I use it often."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/fbt1x9/nothing_is_foolproof_to_a_sufficiently_talented/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Comment your \"yo mama\" joke\nYo mama so fat, when she walked by the tv I missed 3 episodes"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "The world was flat. Then they buried yo momma."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/10xvvlx/comment_your_yo_mama_joke/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Yesterday i spent 45 minutes trying to get into my girlfriend's panties... until she came home and made me take them off."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I spent all night trying to get into my girlfriends panties and man does that thong itch."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/kmed08/yesterday_i_spent_45_minutes_trying_to_get_into/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Denny's is just Waffle House for people who can't fight."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Waffle House is just Denny's for people who can't mosh."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/tz486f/dennys_is_just_waffle_house_for_people_who_cant/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My wife's one of those women who'll use a quick flash of the tits, or the promise of a blowjob in order to get little jobs done around the house.\nThe plumber told me."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "What’s her number mate? Asking for a friend"
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/sjvb2o/my_wifes_one_of_those_women_wholl_use_a_quick/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "So I heard they finally invented a car that runs on water... [Joke]\n... but you have to get the water from the Gulf of Mexico."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I see you watched Leno last night."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/c5p3h/so_i_heard_they_finally_invented_a_car_that_runs/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Salt jokes are sodium funny"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Na..."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/10f533x/salt_jokes_are_sodium_funny/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "We choose to masturbate, not because it is easy, but because it is hard."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "life's hacks"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/dk0ayf/we_choose_to_masturbate_not_because_it_is_easy/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Why did the diver run for president?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "There was no place to go but up."
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/gtbgtg/why_did_the_diver_run_for_president/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Merry Christmas. 🎄"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "No thanks, I'm alread merried. Glory hole day!"
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/kdt9ic/merry_christmas/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Man with authority walks into a bar and orders everyone a round."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Took me a second longer than it should\n\nGood work"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/88v7i4/man_with_authority_walks_into_a_bar_and_orders/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I took three quarters of calculus in college, and failed twice. It did teach me one thing, though:\nI have limits."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Unfortunately, they're upper limits."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/cqlyg/i_took_three_quarters_of_calculus_in_college_and/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "If you add an \"s\" to the word \"even\", it becomes odd."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "It evens itself out in the end though...."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/11kv3w3/if_you_add_an_s_to_the_word_even_it_becomes_odd/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I'm more tired than..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "... a road train.\n\n.\n\n\n[FYI](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Road_train)\n\n\n[Video](https://thedrakegroup.com.au/drake-trailers-news/the-longest-road-train-in-history-still-holds-the-world-record/)"
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/o9vpfx/im_more_tired_than/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I make dandruff from scratch."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I’m just itching to know how you do it"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/gpfjdi/i_make_dandruff_from_scratch/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Getting married saved me from becoming an alcoholic... now when I drink, I can quit any time she wants."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I don't get it, and I don't get how this is supposed to be a one-liner."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/yrgya2/getting_married_saved_me_from_becoming_an/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "People who are afraid of child molesters need to grow up."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "yeah cos those molesters are just fucking little assholes"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/546pqp/people_who_are_afraid_of_child_molesters_need_to/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "63 Earths can fit inside Uranus. 64 if you relax."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "At my previous job we had a meeting room called \"Uranus\".\n- Where are we meeting?\n- In Uranus.\n😎"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/aog0kq/63_earths_can_fit_inside_uranus_64_if_you_relax/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "A jellyfish makes a phenomenal gift"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "He works really hard on it and hopes you like it."
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/gs0fmf/a_jellyfish_makes_a_phenomenal_gift/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I've never been good in geography, but I can name one city in France, which is nice."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "It’s nice that it’s named after your brother’s daughter."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/1828h8i/ive_never_been_good_in_geography_but_i_can_name/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Whats blue and chokes children?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Rabid smurfs"
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/m08x0n/whats_blue_and_chokes_children/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "The Scottish military has eliminated the draft by issuing pants to all its officers."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "This joke kilt me"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/lz7scb/the_scottish_military_has_eliminated_the_draft_by/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "It takes guts to be an organ donor."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Depending on the circumstances…it also takes balls"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/um07fn/it_takes_guts_to_be_an_organ_donor/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "100% of people like faked statistics."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Do you know that 80% of people hate to be thought of as a statistic?!"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/pzhjx5/100_of_people_like_faked_statistics/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Nostalgia ain't what it used to be."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "A mystery the future is"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/vhfy7k/nostalgia_aint_what_it_used_to_be/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "They call me monkey tit..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I never should have trusted that plastic surgeon"
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/n72bj9/they_call_me_monkey_tit/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I don't like going on airplanes with my child anymore..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "...so I left it at home and went on vacation solo."
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/sc4jyt/i_dont_like_going_on_airplanes_with_my_child/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "What did the Pirate say on his 80th Birthday? (Hint: NOT arrggghhh!)\nAye Matey!"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Pirate walks into a bar with a giant steering wheel sticking out of his crotch. Bartender goes \"Hey, did you know you have a giant steering wheel sticking out of your crotch?\"\n\nPirate goes \"Arr, it's drivin' me nuts!\""
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/5dpsiz/what_did_the_pirate_say_on_his_80th_birthday_hint/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "r/twoliners"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/7afzp8/i_just_burned_2000_calories_thats_the_last_time_i/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Mike Tyson’s nudist resort has clothed for the winter."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Athol."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/zpc62v/mike_tysons_nudist_resort_has_clothed_for_the/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Let's hear some jokes, reddit.\nGive us some comical credibility, reddit. Upvote this so we can laugh at some of the better and original jokes."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Mickey Mouse is in divorce court and the judge says, \"Mr. Mouse, your petition says you're divorcing your wife because she's crazy?\" Mickey answers \"No, your honor, I said she's fucking Goofy!\""
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/9fqdk/lets_hear_some_jokes_reddit/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "A midget horse walks into a bar"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "The bartender says, \"Why the short face?\""
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/mlxr1o/a_midget_horse_walks_into_a_bar/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My struggle with steroid addiction has only made me stronger."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "An honest and funny one liner. Bravo!"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/9k2y2h/my_struggle_with_steroid_addiction_has_only_made/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "What did the mother buffalo say to her son as he was about to leave on a journey?\nBi-son!"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "That mother's a jerk, only identifying her son by his sexual orientation."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/d4kr0/what_did_the_mother_buffalo_say_to_her_son_as_he/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Last night I had sex for one hour and 2 minutes, thank you daylight saving time."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I thought daylight savings was an hour, when did they change it to one hour, 1 minute and 30 seconds?"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/11pectl/last_night_i_had_sex_for_one_hour_and_2_minutes/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Did you hear about the group dyslexic devil worshippers?\nThey all sold their souls to santa"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I used to have dyslexia, but now I'm KO 👍🏻"
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/vfoxs8/did_you_hear_about_the_group_dyslexic_devil/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Subreddit Of The Month [October]: /r/MommaJokes, \"A place to let the insults fly about the most/least loved person\". Know of a small (under 10,000 subscribers) humor-based subreddit that deserves a month in the spotlight? Link it inside!"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "/r/Californiaswater"
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/MommaJokes |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Anyone know where I can find a companion? Asking for a friend."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Your friend already knows."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/rldyh2/anyone_know_where_i_can_find_a_companion_asking/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Does it still count as necrophilia if you're dead inside?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "No. Only when you're inside dead."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/4sxcda/does_it_still_count_as_necrophilia_if_youre_dead/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I accidentally took viagra instead of my sleeping pill so I’ve been up all night"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "But at least it’s easier to sleep on your side."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/zlucl0/i_accidentally_took_viagra_instead_of_my_sleeping/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Oral sex makes your day...\nbut anal sex makes your hole weak."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "The only thing better than roses on your piano is tulips on your organ"
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/ccfdt/oral_sex_makes_your_day/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "What if you're the favourite twin but she just can't tell you apart?"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/kevlyd/my_mom_asked_me_to_hand_out_invitations_for_my/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I was looking for leather bags....\nI think my Amazon Algorithm broke.\n\nhttps://i.redd.it/oy3f9h7mnb731.png"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "The bag is on the front"
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/c714vp/i_was_looking_for_leather_bags/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "If I ever find out the name of the surgeon that screwed up my limb transplant, I'll kill him with my bear hands."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I'm sure the bear 🐻 is pissed off too"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/rsr0wt/if_i_ever_find_out_the_name_of_the_surgeon_that/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "How do you salt a chicken?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Feed them salt instead of grass"
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/ld6ffp/how_do_you_salt_a_chicken/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "An American cockroach, A British cockroach and an African cockroach walk into a bar..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "...It was a beetles reunion."
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/ihoabj/an_american_cockroach_a_british_cockroach_and_an/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Reading the Wikipedia page for the Dunning–Kruger effect was all it took to make me an expert on the topic."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Entertaining, educational, and illustrative all in one line. Great!"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/8egber/reading_the_wikipedia_page_for_the_dunningkruger/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Asexuals don't fuck around"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "On the other hand, they never get down to business."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/3ihrfl/asexuals_dont_fuck_around/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Perforated Paper is Terrible"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "You mean **tearable**?"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/t1jkvn/perforated_paper_is_terrible/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My penis was briefly in The Guinness Book of World Records, until I was caught by the librarian."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "That was a good short story."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/78mpry/my_penis_was_briefly_in_the_guinness_book_of/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "If Buzz Lightyear doesn't think he's a toy, why doesn't he talk when people are around?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "No. Fuck you. Don't you go try ruining Toy Story for me. Stop that now."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/9vqdr/if_buzz_lightyear_doesnt_think_hes_a_toy_why/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "When I saw my sister crying, I asked, \"Are you having a crisis?\""
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Hehehe, took me a second to get it"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/g3lwf7/when_i_saw_my_sister_crying_i_asked_are_you/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Constipated people are full of shit"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "They also don’t give a shit"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/nlvhz5/constipated_people_are_full_of_shit/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Amanda thought it'd be unsafe for me to walk home in my bikini, but I made it back all in one piece."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Isn't a bikini a two piece clothing?\nOr is that the joke?"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/fu7js6/amanda_thought_itd_be_unsafe_for_me_to_walk_home/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Two friends walked into a bar, but I ducked"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Quack quack"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/c8ine0/two_friends_walked_into_a_bar_but_i_ducked/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "my boyfriend is like a napkin..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Only good for one usage, is to be discarded afterwards."
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/idt9zt/my_boyfriend_is_like_a_napkin/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I put the sexy in dislexia"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "You've spelled dyslexia wrong."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/zfwot6/i_put_the_sexy_in_dislexia/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "What do dicks and guns have in common?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I'm not allowed to have either since the Incident."
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/oooaxk/what_do_dicks_and_guns_have_in_common/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I met a guy who was convinced that there were no words in the English language with more syllables than vowels, so I tried to explain to him that he was wrong, but he refused to accept criticism."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Can someone explain it to me?"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/p0cp24/i_met_a_guy_who_was_convinced_that_there_were_no/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I was very naive sexually. My first boyfriend asked me to do missionary and I buggered off to Africa for six months."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Found the Brit"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/7652kg/i_was_very_naive_sexually_my_first_boyfriend/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My friends laughed at me when I told them I had a hot date and said she was imaginary but the jokes on them because they’re imaginary too."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Everything is a one liner when you don’t use punctuation."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/p61i54/my_friends_laughed_at_me_when_i_told_them_i_had_a/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I tend to spell 'a lout' without the u a lot"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "This joke is so bad, it should be a lout"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/g0zvur/i_tend_to_spell_a_lout_without_the_u_a_lot/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I have a German friend who is a sound engineer and a Czech one too"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "This is one of those jokes where I think I get it but can’t be totally sure"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/ftsdzs/i_have_a_german_friend_who_is_a_sound_engineer/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "A watched pot never boils but..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Now I’m not sure I know how to do a marijuana"
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/j9qztl/a_watched_pot_never_boils_but/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "A man got rushed to the hospital,\r\ndoctors found he had six toy horses up his butt.\nHis condition is stable."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "When doctors asked if he was in any pain, he replied, \"Neigh\"."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/dy829/a_man_got_rushed_to_the_hospital_doctors_found_he/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "As soon as I saw an ad in the newspaper for an INNUENDO competition, I entered my sister."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "This joke would have worked better if you didn't uppercase INNUENDO:\n\n`I saw an ad for an innuendo competition so I entered my sister.`"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/xwzeb2/as_soon_as_i_saw_an_ad_in_the_newspaper_for_an/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "They have a word for everything!\nBackpfeifengesicht is a German word meaning: someone deserving of a face slap.\n\nSomeone with a punchable face, as explained to me by a German speaker."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "So, Ted Cruz then. Got it."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/zymnn4/they_have_a_word_for_everything/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "We have chickens, and a 7 year old. Today he asked “dad, who laid me? You or mom?”\nAnd we all laughed very hard."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "\"Well, technically, your mom laid me. Heyo!\""
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/hrd14k/we_have_chickens_and_a_7_year_old_today_he_asked/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My cat died today"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Apparently I don't understand Schrodinger as well as I thought..."
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/gn85b4/my_cat_died_today/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Subreddit Of The Month [November 2017]: /r/goodfaketexts. Know of a small (under 20,000 subscribers) humor-based subreddit that deserves a month in the spotlight? Link it inside!"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "r/glitches_gone_sexual"
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/GoodFakeTexts/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "The young couple next door to me have just made their first sex tape but obviously they don't know that yet."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Gary Delaney"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/a8vopx/the_young_couple_next_door_to_me_have_just_made/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My friend`s shagging twins,who both like it up the ass.\nI asked \"how do you tell them apart?\"\n\"Easy\" he said...\nSallys got long blond hair,and Derek's got a moustache."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "This is the most offensive joke I will retell before lunch."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/d0c3p/my_friends_shagging_twinswho_both_like_it_up_the/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I haven’t slept for three days because that would be far too long"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "\"I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long\" - Mitch Hedberg (RIP)"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/n73rqf/i_havent_slept_for_three_days_because_that_would/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Them darn kids egged my house earlier..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I was shellshocked"
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/htm20i/them_darn_kids_egged_my_house_earlier/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I’m a professional housekeeper – each time I get a divorce, I keep the house!"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "You must be Zsa Zsa Gabor."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/orvs5g/im_a_professional_housekeeper_each_time_i_get_a/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Surely, if robots had a gender, it would be emale."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Well they have to be one or the other, because otherwise they’d be non-binary"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/qwniao/surely_if_robots_had_a_gender_it_would_be_emale/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "An undercooked chicken and an overcooked chicken walk into a bar"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "You think the the second one would have noticed."
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/z7s8t4/an_undercooked_chicken_and_an_overcooked_chicken/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I've seen less of my dad since the amputation."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I'll bet he seems a bit cut off from the rest of the family."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/84f3py/ive_seen_less_of_my_dad_since_the_amputation/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Hitler walks into a gay bar..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "...all roads lead to Röhm"
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/kqbx7k/hitler_walks_into_a_gay_bar/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Last night my wife asked me if I wanted to dress up as a clown, hide in the drains and scare her but I didn't really feel like It."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "explain?"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/i42av1/last_night_my_wife_asked_me_if_i_wanted_to_dress/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Two parrots on a perch, and one says to the other \"can you smell something fishy?\""
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "3 times!!! Three times I read that before I dope-slapped myself."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/seopci/two_parrots_on_a_perch_and_one_says_to_the_other/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "That's not a joke that's solid advice people need to listen to."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/78g8uj/going_to_church_doesnt_make_you_a_christian_any/ |
End of preview. Expand
in Dataset Viewer.
Dataset Summary
The "humor-chains" dataset is a machine-filtered collection of the most upvoted Reddit submissions and their replies on humor-related subreddits. Generally, a humor chain is when a short post triggers a chain of one or more replies that Redditors find entertaining. In other words, some entries might be NSFW, topical, or internal jokes.
For example (original thread):
Dataset Details
License
Note that the dataset was created from Reddit's public user-generated content. Reddit's license states in section "2.4 User Content" that such content is ownership of individual reddit users and not Reddit itself. For privacy reasons, all usernames were removed and replaced by "human" (original submission) and "gpt" (all replies). That format is convenient for fine-tuning GPT models, e.g., in Axolotl that is "sharegpt" format type.
UPDATE 2024-7-9: Axolotl's finetuning formats expect a single GPT reply, so dataset was reduced to include submission and a single top reply.
Dataset Creation
The dataset was created using the following procedure:
- Reddit's API was not used directly, as API license switched to a more restrictive license (see 2023 Reddit API controversy). Instead, I used older Reddit dump Subreddit comments/submissions 2005-06 to 2023-12. Inside the big torrent file are zstandard compressed ndjson files, each representing a subreddit.
- Downloaded a portion of subreddits from List of funny subreddits.
- Python script filtered .jsonl files inside .zst to include only the most upvoted thread for each submission.
- Filtered submissions satisfy ALL of the following:
- score >= min (10 upvotes),
- total len is shorter than max_text_len (256 characters),
- title is not "[deleted by user]",
- selftext is not "[removed]" or "[deleted]",
- links to itself (Reddit link) and not an image, video, or external link,
- doesn't start with a link,
- doesn't have a thumbnail.
- Filtered comments satisfy ALL of the following:
- score >= min (5 upvotes),
- total len is shorter than max_text_len (256 characters),
- Only top upvoted reply at each reply level is included.
- All filtered threads were further filtered with a local model for humor detection: Humor-Research/humor-detection-comb-23, which was selected because it performed the best on lm233/humor_train dataset. Threads not detected as funny were removed.
All code used for filtering of the dataset is available on GitHub: reddit-filter
Citation
@misc{ZSvedic_humor_chains,
title={humor-chains},
author={Zeljko Svedic},
year={2024},
url={https://huggingface.co/datasets/ZSvedic/humor-chains/blob/main/README.md}
}
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