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suicide-descriptions

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English

I attempted suicide months ago This is a message to all of those who are considering suicide months ago I was extremely depressed I had no motivation to do work or be around those who love me After months and months of sadness and lack of hope I told my friends that I was going to commit suicide and I headed for my car because I was about to drive into a lake My friend tackled me and force me to calm down and from there I did my best to pull myself out of the Abyss Here I am after working through my issues, and I am healthy motivated and happy in everyday life I truly have felt better than I have in years What I'm trying to say is I have been through what a lot of you are going through now I know that you re-thinking that this is your life now and things won't get better But I swear that they will, so please please please don't give up and keep fighting Please seek help and know that you will be okay

French

English

When people ask why you want to be dead The fuck do I know I can give you a million answers to that question that don't even answer it Just let me be dead

French

J'ai besoin d'aide Je suis suicidaire et je n'ai personne vers qui me tourner Ma vie est tombée en morceaux au cours des derniers mois J'ai une fille d'un an qui ne me cause aucun problème, et pourtant je veux mourir pour arrêter la misère Je sens que je n'ai pas de travail et qu'il est préférable de tout mettre fin à la vie

French

Je n'ai absolument pas envie ou besoin de continuer, donc je pense que c'est probablement ce que je suis plus étranger à la dépression ou à la tentative de suicide, mais la plupart du temps, j'ai échoué et obtenu une étincelle artificielle de la vie pour continuer à me presser comme un coup de caféine, ou je suis resté à ne pas mettre mes amis et ma famille à travers ce genre de tourment.

French

Tout cela semble bizarre comme si c'était sur le point de se terminer au-delà de mon niveau de freinage Rien ne semble réel Tout est D et clair, c'est la seule façon dont je peux le décrire, j'ai peur et je ne veux plus ça, je veux y retourner.

English

I don't think my thoughts are a mental health issue Everything you read everywhere you go they will tell you these feelings are a result of mental health issues I am fully aware of my situation Yeah I had my share of tragic moments growing up Whatever I also know the mistakes I've made I understand my perspective on how people have fucked me over is biased I understand that it's my own fault being where I am today I know that I squandered countless opportunities for various reasons I am wasting away I just don't care I am conscious of all of this I don't feel depressed I realize where my life is, and I just want to press quit like a video game I have full awareness of this I m I have no one When I say I have no one I actually mean it I go days at a time without talking to someone Sometimes weeks without seeing a person aside from the corner store clerk I isolated myself and I know that I did it because I hate everyone including myself I've already seen the good and the bad of this earth and I don't care for anything this society can offer me The things I would have cared about years ago I already fucked up Dropping out of college failing my Pt test for military just to name two examples and even those two things are bullshit constructs of a life that was planned for me by societies expectations rather than the real passions I had at that age I worked a bullshit retail grocery manager job for years Worked my way up several promotions Made some money Hated my life every single day Obsessed over suicide constantly for years It s been months since I quit that job Honestly my plan right now is to kill myself once I run out of money Already burned through k buying dumb shit and donating money to people on twitch and some random charity s from charity streams people were doing Whatever I don't know why I even wrote this shit Just found this sub and it's almost am and yeah If you read this far I hope it helps to relate already forgot what the fuck the title was E

English

I've started to get happy at the thoughts of my suicide Like I've had suicidal thoughts for ages now, and they used to make me feel like shit Then I just had a sudden realization that maybe I should be dead and the whole reason I am feeling like this all the time is that I am meant to be dead After that I started to feel happy about the suicidal thoughts Like I've imagined my whole suicide like my parents finding my body hanging in my room all of my friends finding out my mum fucking crying at my funeral the whole thing and it made me fucking happy it's the only thing that really makes me feel happy now Which just shows how fucking selfish I am really

English

I m so tired I just need to vent I have no one to talk to about this and I feel so alone right now I feel so powerless and weak right now I feel like I have no voice but honestly even if I did I don't think anyone would give a fuck i m tired of my life and always hearing negative things about me from my family i don't think my life has a purpose or any meaning I really wish I could just kill myself but I know i m probably too pussy to even do that so i ll just keep thinking about it and punching myself in the face hoping i ll get a brain bleed and pass away

French

Je pense à la meilleure méthode de suicide depuis quelques semaines et pour l'instant la méthode de choix est les somnifères Pouvez-vous me dire quelle quantité de pilules est suffisante pour faire le travail

French

L'accent mis sur la prévention du suicide au lieu des problèmes de base montre que d'autres ne se soucient vraiment que d'eux-mêmes La société déteste le suicide comme la plupart des gens dans la société deviennent très tristes quand quelqu'un meurt, et ils doivent reconnaître que la société ne se soucie pas des personnes déprimées qui ne meurent pas comme il est facile pour la plupart des gens d'éviter le suicide.

English

Why can't I be successful Why can't I successfully kill myself I've done so many things tried so many times why has it never worked once literally just today I tried to hang myself and I passed out and woke up on the ground The rope snapped Fuck everything

English

HElppGuys I took tablets of Tramadol and I am having a bad trip vertigo blurred eyes etc how can I stop this shit

English

I just don't trust myself to be alone right now I don't know what I'm doing anymore and right now I feel like the problems that I'm having are just trivial, but I still feel awful and don't think I should be left alone right now

English

I'm at the end of my rope and I'm only I'll make this quick because it really isn't that complex I have a chronic illness called POTS syndrome and CFS causing me to feel tired groggy and like I have a fever and can't focus almost I've seen over doctors, and they all concluded I will just have to live with it the best I can but what kind of life is this I'm not depressed at all and i ve never once contemplated suicide until i my doctor told me there's nothing he can do for me and I would feel like this indefinitely I can't fathom functioning like this the only time my symptoms aren't bad is when I'm on my computer playing games or doing something to take my mind of things but there's no future or money in that I'm ready to kill myself even though the last thing I want to do is die all because western medicine has failed me

English

Darkness I've seen the true darkness inside myself and let me tell you It's fucking horrific I've been this way since I was maybe and its only continued to get stronger throughout my life, but now I sense that it's coming to a furor I know I should just kill myself it's the only way to fix what's wrong with me, it's the only way to rid the world of my darkness Why can't I do it Why do I always stop myself I hold the knife up to my chest and wish with all my might that I could just plunge it in and let go but slowly my hand drops and the urge passes and I somehow decide that I'll do it another day No one understands how sick I am, and I can't explain for the risks involved I'm not making sense Nothing makes sense I want to die I don't want to be sick anymore I don't want to be the broken little boy living inside the shell of a young man any more I don't want to be the evil that made me I don't want to be the darkness I see in my heart and mind I don't want to exist any more It should be so easy to just have done with it one swift hard movement and I could find my peace

English

What is your reason for staying I need more reasons to stay and not kill myself when I feel this low

English

I did not kill myself tonight I don't want to die sometimes I crave a pause button Everything was overwhelming me it was coming at me from all sources some form of stress even the people I usually went to they were contributing without knowing all they want to do is help A six-hour panic attack which is worse than anxiety because it is so random I know if I can say I can't breathe I am not dying so I was just mad that my chest felt so tight it felt as if I was not breathing it was just my damn brain fucking with me, I spoke to someone on here who used to live in my town I have been up for almost hours today is going to be me smiling and not burdening anyone with my crap

English

I am so sad for my dog love her so much I promised her i d never leave her and I lied

English

Countdown to the end journal night three Hello to anyone who might take the time to read this I know this is a cloudy little corner we're in Not many come here it's not the most social place and that's ok I've only got three technically two days to go and i m not going to let the lack of human contact dampen my spirits I figured for tonight's entry I would share a little history about myself It's far from complete but it's a start If anyone should feel inclined to they are free to message me and ask whatever the fuck they want i m an open book now I'm a year-old ex college kid I live in a tough town not many people ever make it out or go to college I studied psychology and theology and I always wrote a lot My parents had high expectations for me growing up but inherited my mothers' susceptibility to mental illness and my fathers addictive personality I have been very prone to depression and extremely prone to anxiety issues for as long as I can remember When I was a kid before the depression took hold I had extreme anger fits I would get so mad I would scratch myself with my fingernails underneath my shirt until I drew blood Then my parents caught me and punished me so I switched to destroying things which led to more punishment which led to internalizing these feelings completely which led to this overwhelming all encompassing blanket of dread and depression In my teens I was thin and good-looking I ran a lot and lifted nearly every day The feelings never left though I used a lot of Adderall in high school it made it feel good to be alone read study write and do my school work I graduated I did some college Work Work Work I'm skimming over things, but you get the just

English

non-stop thinking have no friends don't care about anyone and everyone who I care about hurts me in some way or another I feel like I have become what I hate the most and can't stop thinking about it

French

Je viens de descendre un verre de whisky, donc si mes mots semblent bizarres, blâmez le whisky que je voulais mourir depuis un moment. Je ne peux pas le faire. Je ne peux pas le faire. Je ne peux pas m'écouter. Je ne me soucie pas de mon mari.

English

Goodbye again m here again to write a post that supposedly is my last I'm tired of doing this so many times But actually every time feels like the last time and I wish it was I hope one day I'll say that it's the last time, and it actually will be I hope today is this day I feel guilty about leaving the people that I care about that I remember that I live with My friends my family I wish they didn't suffer they didn't have to feel bad I wish I was just erased from their memories I don't want to hurt anyone I don't care about me but I want everyone else to be okay to be fine And I'm sorry I'm sorry for leaving that people that I'll hurt I'm so, so sorry But I can't do it anymore I love the people that I met here Even if we just talked for one time I'm really thankful and I'm happy we did You really helped me and I hope I could help you too somehow I feel guilty and sad now but I hope that when I go to bed I just feel numb because it would make everything easier Sometimes I have a quick feeling that I couldn t do it that I should tell someone that I should stay here to listen to my favorite s band new album to watch a class with that funny teacher to eat noodles again I feel that I should stay here for the little and the big things But it vanishes quickly as it comes I don't want to do any of these things I don't want to be here to do it And it won't make any difference because I won't feel anything any more I just want everything to stop But I'm scared I'm pretty sure there's no way back from this method that I'm using but if it happens for some reason I don't think I will ever recover and I'll just hurt everyone more and I'll be a bigger burden for them, I'm scared from the pain I'm scared that my parents won't find my notes I'm scared they will blame themselves I'm scared and sad But more than anything I'm tired I want it to end forever amp x B I'm sorry if you read this until here And I'm glad too You made me feel a little bit more real for sure And I want to remember you that you can get better You can feel better I promise Don't do it like me I'm tired but you still can try Don't give up Lt Thank you for being here Lt

French

Je ne peux pas dormir J'ai trop peur Et si un jour je fais accidentellement une erreur Et je m'excuse encore et encore, mais les gens ne me pardonnent jamais C'est presque comme si je voulais juste aller au lit mais j'ai trop peur qu'un jour cela se produise et que personne ne m'aime à nouveau

English

Goodbye It is always my fault I will never be good enough I just know I won't And it will never get better Why every time it starts to become better things always have to turn upside down My mom acts like she hates me She hates me for my dad She won't even talk to me, I can tell that I am an utter disappointment to her and I will always be The only person who loves me is not at home with me, He s at work I don't want to scare him with my messages I already put him through enough pain I am so sorry These last days we both experienced was the most beautiful of my life Thank you for everything I don't want to wake up tomorrow I don't want it

French

Je ne vais pas le faire, mais j'y pense beaucoup Depuis quelques années maintenant, si j'ai pensé à un mauvais souvenir ou à la façon dont j'imagine mon avenir, je vais involontairement marmonner que je veux me tuer, mais récemment, j'ai ressenti une étrange compulsion d'écrire une note de suicide, je pensais que je me disais peut-être de laisser mes sentiments parce que je ne serais pas capable de me tuer si j'essayais.

English

I want to die and I'm not afraid to kill myself I just don't want to do it alone Sounds a bit selfish to want someone to die with me yet that's how I feel If I had someone to make a pact with me, I wouldn't fucking hesitate to put a bullet in my head

English

Whiny teenager doesn't know where to start Muumuu Okay I should probably begin this by stating that I'm only and I know that I haven't experienced any significant hardship We live comfortably I haven't lost anyone close to me where lost is a euphemism for death I haven't experienced abuse or anything like that I have a loving family I don't really have a legitimate reason to feel this way and I can't explain it You're more than welcome to tell me that these feelings are just a result of normal teenage mood changes I would like to believe that they are I'm sorry if this is a pain to read I've decided that the best way to do this is to put everything in bullet points, and then I guess you can ask me about things you want to know more about That way I'm hopefully not just ranting on and on Diagnosed with anxiety Bullied when I was Finding it difficult to talk to anyone Lonely and very unhappy Self harming cutting for the last two years Frequent thoughts of suicide No real reason for any of this I don't really know what I'm hoping to achieve from typing this out but here you go I would like to talk to someone Reddit I feel all alone

English

don't international kill your self just have a crippling drug dependency and mix opioids and Bezos and alcohol and if it didn't kill ya then ya just had a good time and if it did ETH WTF is wrong with my thoughts lol

French

Je suis en train de traverser une rupture terrible Meh tellement comme de mauvaises relations abusives longues rapidement Je pensais que j'étais guéri, mais cette relation s'est terminée très vite et brusquement et ils m'ont beaucoup isolé de tous mes amis et m'ignorent jusqu'à ce qu'ils bougent tous parce que je voulais le prendre lentement à cause d'un traumatisme Je sais que j'aurais dû travailler sur cela mais IDK tout s'est passé si vite, et je suis fatigué

French

Je n'utilise pas une cause jetable, je ne sais pas, je suis ton voisin amical, énervé, un enfant de treize ans qui veut se tuer malgré le fait que je demande constamment aux gens de ne pas le faire, je ne sais pas, je pense que je suis une bite, parce que je suis, j'ai fait le tour de ce sous-marin.

French

Quelqu'un s'il vous plaît aidez-moi à ne pas savoir quoi faire d'autre C'est bien ici Ils ne s'arrêteront pas S'il vous plaît

French

C'est un adieu que je ne pars pas encore mais quand je le ferai tu seras capable de trouver ça je me sens engourdie je me suis blessée pendant les dernières années je pense au suicide depuis des années je suis encore très jeune, et je me sens mal d'avoir ces sentiments je ne devrais pas penser de cette façon, mais c'est le pire sentiment que je n'ai jamais essayé de m'aider, mais ça ne fonctionne jamais.

French

Je veux y mettre fin Quelle est la meilleure chose à consommer qui me tuera dans mon sommeil

French

Si mon père n'était jamais venu aux États-Unis illégalement, je ne serais pas né Fuck you papa Juste une pensée, j'ai déjà mon suicide prévu pour ce mois d'octobre, mais bon sang, il m'est venu à l'esprit que mon père n'était même pas censé être en Amérique, il a été déporté quand j'étais je ne devrais vraiment pas être ici et ma mère aurait dû me faire mal à cause de son âge.

French

NE PAS MOURIR Vous avez tout le temps dont vous avez besoin Douleur tristesse tout cela s'en va C'est ce qu'on appelle l'accoutumance Je veux dire essayer et essayer à nouveau Ces tentatives seules sont des réalisations en elles-mêmes

English

I'm feeling lost and have no clue what to DOI m and I don't know what to do any more I used to have dreams hobbies happiness goals and a purpose to keep trying for a better life But now I don't I have a little problem with social skills I don't know how to express my feelings into words to communicate with the others even just a normal conversation I have been silent for too long that I almost forgot how to speak even in my own mother language I don't have any friends and I can't make new friends because I can't trust anyone and i m really afraid to say goodbye I used to not be like this To be honest I miss my old self I used to be a naughty talkative energetic kid because I want my mom attention to be accepted and loved and because I also hate school I've always felt marginalized unwanted and inferior to my siblings I envy them I'm not good at anything but I still want her to look at me and talk to me and hug me We finally did she finally looked at me and tried to understand what s inside my head I was really happy till we found out she has cancer stage My father came back from nowhere after left us with debt to be with mom and help the hospital bills It's still haunting me when she was crying in agony begging to be dead and apologized for leaving her kids behind I'm dying I shut down everything locked myself and tried to kill myself My father is dating someone right after my mom died He left the house took my little brother with him My mind is completely blank I don't know what to think nor say It just empty It was bad at that time but I got over it and stood up working on a new goal I went to college multimedia art school My father hate it and against me going to art school because he doesn't like my art So I studied a lot to get good grades to prove that he is wrong I have had jobs at once to earn more money for school and subsistence fee I tried my best to make new friends and I met my first love in college Things went well until shit happened I've been betrayed by my first love tricked by my co-workers and the clients didn't pay me I got really sick and its keep getting worse I have lost more than kg due to sickness stress and insomnia I have a fear of asking for help but at that time I have no choice so I took all my brave to ask my family and friends for help And they turned me down I gave up It's awful My scores getting worse each day no matter how hard I tried Everything just collapsed and I can't hold on any more I quit my jobs dropped out of my school locked myself again I have started to sleep a lot the longest is nearly days and still feel tired, and always tired End up spent nearly a year just lying in bed doing nothing I tried again I went out and find a job that fit me and tried again I found a new hobby and spent all the money I have saved to learn to tattoo I really think it's going to work this time but once again I failed I'm a fool a failure I'm useless worthless I can't do anything right or think properly People are so selfish mean ungraceful judgmental and receivable They are terrifying me I'm so tired of everything I just want to meet my mom hug her and go to sleep with her forever I'm tired im good for nothing I don't have any purpose to keep trying I'm afraid of going outside talking to people I have so many negative thoughts, and it keeps drowning me I can't go out any more My art suck no one like it Everyone is a liar No matter how much I try things will never change I can't do anything I'm stuck Father is going to sell my mom s house to pay the debt I don't get along well with my siblings' family I have tried too much I pretend to be alright always fake a smile, so people stop asking and giving me more pressure But now I don't know what to do now I don't even know what to think

English

Physician heal thyself First off I work in healthcare and it s reached the peak for me at the start of the new year All the naive has been beat from me Nothing is going to get better about this system I came in with ideals and self-preservation in mind I can help people and save lives maybe even spark change and I will have a solid skill set so that I am able to leverage my job as needed I'm the squeaky wheel The squeaky wheel gets beaten into shape or drowned in oil until it stays quiet for ages knowing the price of making noise It got to me little by little And my counselor reminds me that this job doesn't define me and I need to be more than just my career when I think of my whole identity That's the absurd thing our careers have bred us to be the job to give our all to the job because not everyone can do the job just we few And fewer hold on long term And that's partially why We keep reverting to our weak human forms despite the bumps injections and indoctrination of our God like ability and ego and hubris I am a failure I can only fight against this by truly letting go, and it hurts so bad And the cure is not living day after day denying and downplaying I just want to end things because I can't take another psychological warfare because I stand up to the powers that be and cry foul I do it to protect my life and patients alike And my coworkers would rather sell me as sacrifice than pitch in and help I can't fix myself I can't fight the dark in me any longer I just want to be at peace

English

kook

French

French

En espérant que je gèle à mort ce soir Wind chill le met en dessous de zéro Fahrenheit Devrait le faire ou au moins me paralyser je vais prendre un téléphone paralysant s sur le point de mourir Il sait le jeu Espoir que je suis assez intelligent pour suivre son exemple

English

Updatesit s all happening again in my head i m sitting downplaying a video game when these stupid thoughts come back how the hell do I make them go away I had an amazing day today and I know i m not crazy about this whole ordeal I just want it to all stop I want to think normally without these thoughts creeping back into my mind alters so fast to it's okay just live your life lol forget about those thoughts to GOD remember when you did this stupid thing to just stop overthinking lol everyone makes mistakes to yeah, but you could have done this to prevent yourself from being stupid honest to god I just want them to stop

French

Tout ce que je veux est d'être reconnu comme l'enfant que je suis Juste parce que j'ai vécu des années ne signifie pas que je suis automatiquement un adulte Le mot adulte est une construction sociale de toute façon qui est définie par ce que nos législateurs sentent Pourquoi ne puis-je pas être juste un enfant Cela me brise le cœur et me fait souhaiter que j'étais mort chaque jour J'aime la dynamique entre adultes et enfants et souhaite tellement que je ne vois pas d'enfant

English

Pretty sure my best friend is sleeping with my recent ex-girlfriend who I still care about Thinking ending it all I should probably use a throwaway account but fuck it I don't really care anymore About a month ago me and my girlfriend broke up We had been dating for a year it had been going really well The occasional argument but we showed so much passion and care for each other We talked about moving in together moving to a different state with each other The break-up was over a misunderstanding I was trying to help her with some self-esteem issues but she didn't like what I said and broke it off I tried to explain I only had good intentions, but she said she couldn't get back together at the moment She said she wasn't sure about future opportunities I understood she was going through a lot she has a lot of medical problems and has been helping take care of her siblings since their father left so I tried to just be friends with her, She s been hanging out with my best friend since we broke up All three of us had hung out before that's usually how we spent our time But I never suspected them of doing anything My best friend just broke up with his girlfriend says he was lying to her consistently After work he would go over to my ex s house and smoke with her until or in the morning This was a regular routine essentially Me and his girlfriend live in the same town my ex and my best friend live in a town about hours away I hung out with my ex and best friend a few days ago trying to see if we could all just be friends At one point my ex said an inside joke to my best friend I asked what it meant, and she refused to explain then a few minutes later said she didn't even know what I was talking about My best friend also said he didn't know The group got much more silent after that Before we broke up my ex had actually asked me how I felt about polyamory basically having multiple romantic partners I said I wasn't sure about it This makes me think that something was going on between them even while we were dating The latest thing is that my ex s mom posted a picture on Facebook My ex is wearing my best friend s shirt and necklace All of these things individually don't seem all that bad But shit like this keeps coming up I'm pretty much convinced that my best friend and my ex are fucking each other Besides these things I have mentioned they haven't shown any kind of sign that something is happening between them My best friend had been supportive of me through the break-up and my ex had genuinely attempted to be my friend and was also emotionally affected by our break-up I just don't see any other possibility I've lost two of my favorite people this week I didn't just lose them I feel like they've betrayed me Like the time that I have invested into my romantic relationship was a fucking waste a joke I have so many gifts from her, she has so many gifts from me, We share so many memories with each other I helped her through her emotional problems I took her to the hospital when she had appendicitis I surprised her with visits I held her I loved her What's the point of it all if you're just going to get hurt

French

C'est très dur pour moi de faire à peu près n'importe quoi et encore plus difficile de me sentir bien à propos de n'importe quoi Je sais que je suis quelqu'un qui a le contrôle sur moi est une bite, et il ne me fait pas me sentir mieux Les gens disent que vous avez une si bonne vie si je ne suis pas heureux parents il n'a même pas d'importance je veux tellement apprendre parce qu'il y a des gens

English

Everything worth living for is overly goals this year were to live to Halloween and get through soccer season My soccer season just ended Halloween is almost here I lost all my friends my family doesn't support me I m in the wrong body I can't cut everything has gotten worse school sucks and I've been hospitalized times just this year and it isn't even over, yet I'm so sick and tired of losing the people most important to me getting help that doesn't even work and hearing people tell me I can't because it'd hurt them WHAT ABOUT ME I'm the one in pain, and you know what I don't even want to die but I haven't felt alive in my entire life and by the time I do my youth will be gone Fuck it all I don't even want to be here anymore

English

I just had my family over and I've never felt so alone I can't get better I can't stop being the controlling mean unsympathetic person I am I don't know why I'm like this my siblings have such personality and there's just something wrong with me, I know they couldn't care less about me, I don't even blame them My situation could get better Maybe I won't be so stressed anymore after school ends, and maybe I'll be in a different surrounding if I move to the UK But how much better could things really get I'm still me and that won't change and I hate that I don't want to feel like this any more Life is just too fucking much for me Other people can handle this but honestly I'm just so weak I can't be vulnerable and I'm so afraid of being abandoned but every thing I do as a result of that pushes people away Days can be good days can be bad but overall it's still a fucking rollercoaster Even my good days just aren't worth it I've been here before I can't make myself swallow the whole bottle or jump off the bridge, but I think I can if I'm drunk

English

I want to die because of how ugly i amid fucking disgusting my face looks disgusting I've had people discuss me on the bus when I walked on and talked about how if they looked like me they'd get plastic surgery I've had my friends tell me I'm ugly without me prompting them once I rested my head on a table when I was bored in class and my friend observed me for a moment and then said you're ugly you know people have fake asked me out and laughed about it because they d never really date anyone as ugly as me my parents know I'm ugly my brother know sim ugly I know I'm fucking ugly I hate this face I hate my body I want to fucking kill myself and never have anyone laugh at me again never have anyone stare at me again

French

Je ne m'attendais pas à être ici depuis longtemps Je n'ai jamais envisagé d'agir sur l'une de ces pensées que je suis et j'ai été déprimé pendant des années et dans ces années, je n'ai jamais eu des pensées de suicide, évidemment Tout le monde avec la dépression ne devrait pas être la voix je suppose mais pas une fois j'ai jamais vraiment pensé à la façon dont j'allais le faire.

French

French

J'ai fait mes devoirs pendant des heures, j'ai tout terminé, mais à quel prix mon bonheur, mon sens de l'accomplissement, ma santé mentale Je ne peux plus en prendre Chaque jour Je me demande comment je me suis convaincu de vivre un autre jour Je ne peux pas être invité à faire face à la dépression et à rester éveillé de longues heures comme un bourreau de travail Je souhaite juste que je puisse mourir jeune Je souhaite juste que Dieu puisse m'infecter d'une maladie en phase Je suis prêt à mourir

French

Quand je pense que la vie va mieux, j'ai des médicaments et des trucs mais merde arrive et me donne un coup de pied à nouveau, je pense honnêtement mourir est tellement mieux que d'être sur les médicaments pendant une longue période juste pour me sentir heureux à nouveau, j'ai fait des programmes de TCC en ligne, mais cette aide d'orge, je suis en attente pour l'aide professionnelle couverte par l'assurance privée de l'Ontario est cher, je suis sur une liste d'année d'attente

English

I take the train to work everyday I usually always contemplate just jumping in front of it I'll probably never do it but it calms me knowing I can Depression is crushing my soul today Holding back the tears is extra hard this morning if there truly is a God I'll never understand why this God of ours created millions and millions with mental illness pretty fucked up if you ask me Man I want to ball my eyes out

English

Stress Is Killing Me haven't had suicidal thoughts for a long time Stress is killing me I feel dumb because I'm very fortunate I was lucky to get a well paying job I am lucky enough to afford school And I met an amazing woman who is now my wife It's hard juggling school and work My work is very fast-paced and exhausts me School suffers too even though I'm almost done I work so hard and it all stresses me out, and then I cause fights with my wife She doesn't deserve it I have everything I wanted, but stress hurts my heart and I always feel foggy, and I am so quick to get angry I feel broken I always hut my wife Lately we've been fighting every day because of me I just feel exhausted

French

Ce soir, c'est la nuit où j'ai raconté mon histoire sur ce sous-marin des centaines de fois. Mon jeune frère s'est suicidé. Ma vie est devenue incontrôlable et la seule personne qui m'a tenu à la terre a rompu avec moi et a baisé quelqu'un une semaine plus tard.

English

Just need to put this out m y Old been depressive since but I always managed to be ok In the last year or so living on my house was getting impossible and since I lived in a small city it was hard to get a job good enough to move out So months ago i took a risk and moved to a bigger city a have some friends and family here and my cousin invited to live with her until I was able to have my own place i ve come because bigger city more opportunities In this time things we're getting better sadly i didn't get a job yet but things we're working I even have a girlfriend now But this morning my cousin came to me and said she couldn't have me anymore because her fiancée doesn't accept another man living with her, I've considered suicide other moments of my life but this time i m leaning so much into this because I just feel that I can't take to go back home and I have nowhere else to go

English

I just got an eviction notice never wanted to kill myself more Title I totally deserve it I am a mess I can't clean after myself and the place looks like a fucking mess after the time I've lived there I wish it didn't come to this I guess this was just the last drop that tipped me over the ledge I can't focus I can't eat My head is spinning I can't do anything right now Why is it so hard to just let fucking go In addition to the eviction notice I've also gathered upwards of k in credit card debt for random stuff that I don't need I am a complete failure I need to clean the house in days to avoid legal charges Right now death seems like the obvious choice here I'm sorry

English

It's me again Sorry I have no one to share this with it's about my girlfriend she's the only one who I can trust, but I don't want to worry her or to put pressure on her and I don't trust my family or friends to ask for help We have been together for about years and few months and now she's my entire life But over the past year I haven't been offering her the best I could I've been not listening to her about what I can do to improve the relationship and she has been not totally enjoying us I know I'm guilty about too many things and I have been on me the whole time I don't even know what I m writing I just want her to be happy I want her to love me for who I am and I know she does but I'd wish it would be enough I don't want to worry her because over the past weeks whenever something bad happened suicide thoughts came to me and as time passes those thoughts become stronger ADN stronger We've just chat about breaking up and she's my life I have no one else to be my support and I want no one else Now if I have to live without her, I just want to die

English

Tried to overdose on clonazepam last nights you can see I'm still here I guess it wasn't enough and now I'm just left sad and disappointed

French

J'ai perdu mon sens de soi Chaque jour, je sens que ma vie n'est pas la mienne, j'avais déjà un but à un moment donné et ma vie avait l'impression que c'était la mienne de vivre, mais maintenant je me réveille, groggy et dissonante, j'essaie différentes formes de thérapie d'auto-assistance.

English

I have no meaningful relationships life isn't for everyone Don t assume I m laity shy and tell me to put myself out there I do that already Don't assume in some disgusting entitled low life person I don't demand people be my friend etc. It's hard to judge your own character, but I certainly try hard to be a good person I'm not trying to blame others But it seems the person who I've become has no proper place in my society I can think of one solution Don't tell me things get better they have, and I still end up the same Don't tell me it's a phase this is nonstop from just shy of half my life I'm like this Don't tell me I'm not thinking straight I've spent countless hours in my head over this Even at times when I feel some fulfillment feel love from a large group of good friends girlfriends and family feel in touch with nature I still want to die Don't call me selfish I've come very close to ending it all before There was a period where I was only staying alive to keep others from being devastated Even still why can't I be allowed to die Living is pain those who claim they'll be sad are only adding to the pain I didn't ask to be born I very so desire to slide a knife through my neck a few times and then experience my last few minutes in pure bliss I don't know if I want an afterlife to be mentally spiritually non existent and completely gone from the void is better than what I have Any heaven would be hell if the way I am doesn't drastically change in the spiritual passing process Being happy shouldn't be too much to ask I don't want this pain

French

Tout est si ennuyeux et fastidieux et terne et cliquez sur Il se sent comme un cycle encore et encore et encore, je ne peux pas rompre avec le cycle, je peux le modifier, lire des livres, faire la fête, mais la futilité éternelle reste et c'est tellement ennuyeux, je ne veux plus

French

English

I need help I had a long message written out before that I lost Is anyone out there willing to talk I have Skype and Discord and I just need someone to listen before I work up the nerve to follow through

English

I'm a slave Distant parents Lost my fucking year fiancé Lost became distant with friends Slave to the military Introvert antisocial and impulsive behaviors no one wants to deal with Debating taking a rope to my neck and hanging myself in my walk in closet Trying to talk to other women but I'm just getting ghosted by everyone when trying to have a casual conversation on dating sites Would appreciate it if anyone could give me any advice on how to get through this situation because right now my mind is blank and my emotions just feel blank too

English

HOW COME WHEN EVERYONE ELSE HANGS THEMSELVES CONE WHEN EVERYONE ELSE HANGS THEMSELVES THEY PASS OUT IN SECONDS AND PEACEFULLY DIE IN MINUTES BUT WHEN I FUCKED DO IT ITS EXCRUCIATING AND I NEVER PASS OUT AND FUCK OFF I CAN'T HAVE FUCKING ANYTHING WHILE EVERYONE ELSE HAS EVERYTHING

English

Had a life and everything that entails lost it due to medical mistakes and after years of suffering and being alone I just want out But as you all know that is easier said than done I had a great career was super healthy and fit had a beautiful and smart fiancée who showed me she loved me every day then when more and more medical crap went wrong at the hands of shitty doctors I lost my job and insurance and then all my savings my fitness ability to do anything I enjoyed and the last thing I had this woman who loved me more than anything left me I haven't felt good for about years I am Haven't worked for and haven't had sex for I am the guy people make fun of when they say old guy who lives with his family I don't live in the basement but that's only because it's too full of crap I hate being here and have no privacy, and they hate me being here I have been fighting for SDI for a couple of years now and at this point even maybe winning it won't change that much for me in the big picture and since I have had such shitty lying doctors I have doubts about my ability to win because my records all cover their asses not my ass My conditions won't get better and maybe worse so there isn't any hope if a recovery just mitigating the pain and effects I have nothing to offer a woman and I have a lot of pain that would make sex difficult and probably weird for her so I don't see the year dry spell ending anytime soon I have thought about checking out off and on through the years but just kept going for some pointless reason Fear mostly of screwing up or hurting the handful of people who care a little though they would be hurt far out of proportion to how much I actually mean to them now because they are all drama lovers I have tried therapy and meds, but they don't solve the underlying problems so it's just more side effects and hassle with no real results Just fucking tired I cannot see any practical reason to keep going I am sort of past the point of being willing to keep suffering every second of my life so other people don't have to feel bad I decided it wasn't noble to suffer when they don't really care that much it's stupid and selfish of them to expect me to suffer so they don't have to think about it, I am really, REALLY fucking angry because I had a great life It was stolen from me by greedy fucked up doctors who lied in their records the And their insurance companies who have lobbied to put award caps in place make it really hard for people to win legit malpractice cases anymore since law firms won't help on contingency unless they will get big profits So greed ruined my life in effect and kept me from getting compensated Angry hurting lonely tired

French

Les personnes souffrant d'anxiété de santé hypocondriaque sévère paniquent au sujet des maladies les plus rares chaque jour comme la rage et CD Je m'inquiète tellement de la rage que j'ai considéré le suicide pour être libre de mes pensées obsessionnelles Je vis dans un pays avec seulement des cas domestiques de rage Alors hier matin je me suis réveillé et j'ai marché pour prendre le petit déjeuner et j'ai vu mon frère avec une blessure sur son nez Je l'ai oublié

English

READY My mom killed herself as I get older I think about me ending my own life sometime soon I have a yr old Son and even that doesn't stop the urge I'm all about ready I want to be out of this world and end the nonstop PAIN

French

Est-ce que quelqu'un d'autre a juste une envie tenace de se tuer pas pour une raison particulière que vous pourriez

French

Retour ici encore Mon cœur est juste si lourd Parfois, je souris vraiment j'aime regarder des émissions de télévision comédie Je vis pour elle chaque semaine de nouveaux épisodes de la communauté moderne de la famille South Park Cali pournication C'est quelque chose pour me garder J'ai une semaine parfaite parce que je suis allé camper pour mon anniversaire et puis j'ai récupéré de camper quelqu'un qui peut se détendre avec la télévision Je suis de retour dans la vraie vie

English

What would I for years That's the biggest thing sometimes What am I supposed to do Work Marry Kids I'll work whatever it's possible someone will tolerate me enough to marry I doubt I'm infertile But what would I really do Say I'm home honey Ball with the kids Life was never fun or happy to live wish I could skip to the end when I'm sleeping in a group home or something Just be an old fart that tell s the nurses to go away At least they'll just think I'm senile Stop bothering me people I don't want to participate with you, I don't want to talk to you, I like being alone no matter how much I convince myself otherwise I get close to someone and realize i don't give a shit i want to be alone again How on earth do you keep yourself busy for years

English

What are your reasons for wanting to die Writing a suicide note is too hard So I'm writing a poem with my reasons of wanting to die instead Failure no love sadness I will contrast their counterparts for what I sought success love happiness and why I couldn't attain those things This makes me wonder what are your reasons for wanting to end it all

French

J'ai tout prévu Je ne peux tout simplement pas suivre Et vous maintenant ce qui est vraiment foutu à ce sujet Je n'ai personne J'ai de la musique et c'est tout Si l'un de vous voulait juste me parler, je serais éternellement reconnaissant

English

Y o depressed male here I'm seriously considering ending it all this week I'm tired of feeling alone I'm tired of feeling sad I'm tired of hating myself I m such an irredeemable piece of shit I just want to rest forever

English

I'm so scared m not even sure what to write Suicide has been on my mind again Today I cut myself I carved the word loser onto my thigh That's what my parents called me this morning I have actively tried to kill myself before but ended up in the hospital instead Right now I just feel apathy I'm so apathetic that I really don't care if I walk out in front of a moving car and get hit The thought of that actually calms me down because I'm scared to attempt actively again But the other way seems selfish to strangers involved I just wish someone hated me as much as I hate myself so enough to do something about it, I'm too scared Luckily I suppose I'm considering going to the hospital and asking for help but I'm also scared of these things forever being on my back once they write it all down in my journal And I'm scared of being medicated again because it just fucked me up before The problem lies in my circumstances and not the chemical composition of my brain I was happy when I was away but the stuff I hear at home is starting to stain me to the point where it alters my behavior and gives me thoughts like this I don't know what to do I just want it to be over fast I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sense I just don't feel like I have anyone to talk to and therefore posted here I'm battling whether to go to the hospital or just let it continue until I break completely I don't fucking know what to do and I'm sorry for my existence

English

Well guess now s the TimeDoc t know why I'm writing this since it sounds like a cry for help and makes me look even more pathetic I guess you could say that I'm just here to give the story behind why I'm going to end it all and the reasons Pardon my subpar writing since it's early in the morning and I haven't slept all night I used to believe that I was good a gentle kindhearted person that would always be nice and help out others When other people took advantage of me isolated me girls rejected me etc. I thought it was all their fault But I was wrong it's my fault for being a useless human being at living being absolute trash I feel that I'm a failure to my family no matter how much they tell me they will always support me and love me It would be easier for them if I just died I don't even know why I'm writing this and apologize if it's too long Tomorrow I'm going to do it probably shoot myself

English

I guess I'm just wrapping things up now I don't really know what more to add Sometimes that just be how like it is

English

Reasons To Kill Myself I have just failed my class and extremely upset I'm transgender and can't live with this any more hardest one I have social anxiety I have obsessive compulsive disorder I'm always depressed I'm not healthy at all I hate my family I don't have any friends I have no talent or purpose in life I've never done anything important in my life I've always failed Society won't accept my existence and will always keep making fun of me World is bullshit There is always violence terror blood and death It's not worth living Should I do it

French

Je me souviens très bien avoir pensé que dans mon adolescence, je ne pensais qu'à ces pensées, je serai parti quand vous direz que ça va mieux. Je vois que j'ai eu une enfance horrible. Mes parents avaient des enfants dans une chambre. Nous n'avons pas mangé. Je n'ai jamais brossé nos dents et rarement baigné.

English

The Thrill of Living is Gone m at the point where it seems all my life is trekking through the boring and monotonous Every now and again i ll get blindsided by something horrible I don't look foreword to anything any more days just seem to blend into a blur of time I realize I'm depressed the lack of emotion I feel makes that clear to me, I also realize that it's all in my head and I should be strong enough to fight it But I'm not What's the point of living a life without joy happiness etc I work two jobs just to get out of the house just to get as far away from myself as I can and go to the gym in hopes that someone could find me attractive enough to give me a chance again But that's not going to happen even at lbs i m still just a ball of disgusting lose skin driving home today I fantasized about driving my car off a highway bridge now I've spent an hour looking at my pistol trying to find one reason to just not end it I guess the reason I haven't yet is that a small part of me believes it can get better but that part of me gets smaller by the day Every day I wonder if it will be the day I can't rationalize it anymore I don't know why I'm posting this maybe just to talk with people that understand and hopefully get some advice

English

Life s a sick joke Life s a sick joke I want to talk to my friends about my issues but not only can I not articulate what's on my mind due to it being a mess, but they also have lives and it's unfair to throw this burden on them, I have close friends who i ve shared countless deep secrets with, yet I just can't bring myself to communicate this hell I'm in I'm alone but not I'm so tired and I'm so overwhelmed with everything It's like I'll have sudden bursts of moments of sensory overload and then apathy comes in Then the cycle repeats I m at my limit I can't do this any more I don't know what to do anymore because nothing gives me satisfaction or pleasure like it used too before Everything is blank and gray I keep trying to do things because I believe that maybe one day I'll feel that satisfaction you get for doing the activity but I m at my lowest point right now and my future looks very bleak RN I can't keep going on likes this Any advice I should take that might help

English

If I die and get reborn I hope I cone back as a cloud No problems No social anxiety No vile folk No corporate ladder race No horrible humans Just sailing through the skies

English

Tomorrow is the day or tonight Love you All and I wish you luck Many Max

English

The depth of my sadness is immeasurable and my continued existence is torture I just want the sweet release of death One day

English

Can someone message me I desperately need to talk to someone It s been a long process I feel very close to killing myself I don't know if it's worth it feel afraid and I'm shaking

English

A tragic ballad my life m in tears as I type this post My world has always been a sinking ship My flaws making me sink into the darkest depths of seas kept afloat by little patches for some time Lately I feel the patches have been too weak to keep me buoyant I don't have love I see people all around me finding love and moving on to the journey of their life They find love despite their flaws and ceilings It should be easier to find love That's the one hole which cannot heal itself unfortunately I really wish I were a microbe or other creature with no feelings I really wish I was accepted by somebody I turned a quarter of century which feels like an eternal hell I don't feel like the actual hell would be any worse In another life all I need is somebody to love

English

I have a doubt If I Kill myself using a cop s gun Will the Cop suffer Any consequences

English

I don't know why I feel this way think about killing myself every single day In fact multiple times a day I don't know why I've got Good friends great grades I've got a loving family and anything you might want But I still feel like shit I don't know why I have gotten this feeling that life is pointless I will study for another years until I get a job and from there I will just work until I die The same thing day in day out For the rest of my life If things come to the worst I kill myself What are the consequences Sure my family will grave They are the main reason I haven't done it My friends They will be fine after a year if not less I will have no legacy even if I kill myself now I will have the same legacy as if I were to die at None I will never be special who is Maybe I need to vent i don't know I want to seek help but I'm scared about How my family would react they've already got enough going on in their lives

English

I Can't Do Anything Right and It's Too Late to Fix Anything Now ve basically been a failure most of my life I never had a lot of friends my performance in school dropped drastically after elementary school I've never had a girlfriend I've been obese for as long as I can remember I can't focus on anything for more than a few minutes I'm constantly anxious about nothing I've had over jobs since I turned I'm now and I quit all but a few of them within a month with no notice I'm around dollars in debt I can't afford school I've basically burned bridges with every major employer in my city I have no skills no talent no passion The only thing that gives me joy anymore is smoking pot and listening to music I seriously have no clue why I'm still here I'm thinking about suicide more and more I have no self-discipline there is absolutely no way I can get out of this hole and even if I could,, I would have no clue where to go with my life I'm a lazy sack of shit who deserves to die at this point I think I m going to slice my wrists open later and bleed out

French

Comment puis-je continuer à être un survivant d'abus sexuel de l'enfance L'agresseur était quelqu'un de proche de ma famille que j'ai encore à voir sur une base régulière Comment j'ai encore à voir mon ami J'ai commencé quand j'étais probablement âgé et je suis allé pendant des années Jusqu'à ce que je n'ai jamais dit à qui que ce soit que c'était ma faute ou j'ai essayé de le faire

English

Woke up after passing out I suck at even killing myself So about minutes ago I tried to hang myself I had done all of my research thought I d done everything right but I still managed to fail at it like everything else in my life After passing out I woke up in a panic not unlike that of waking up from a horrible nightmare but far more intense I'm not sure for how long I was out but it couldn't have been too long I felt panicky shaky and sick to my stomach and still feel that way The inside of my lip is sore and swollen from I guess biting it really hard while unconscious My long distance fiance thinks I'm in finals right now but the truth is that I haven't even gone to any of my finals this week and haven't studied for them at all I can't stomach lying to her and know dying would break her heart more than anything else but I'm just no good at being a functional mature member of society I'm on academic probation at my school and will most certainly be kicked out of school for a year for failing to get my GPA up this semester I was supposed to graduate this year but I'll be lucky if that happens in at this rate I'll be thrown off my parent s insurance in years and I just don't want to be alive anymore I love my fiance more than anything but I've been a shitty partner to her for years and I just can't see myself ever being responsible enough and capable enough of taking care of both of us I'm supposed to be flying to visit her in days She s been going through really hard times herself mental health wise and I want to help her but how can I when I can't even take care of myself I don't know what the hell in trying to say I just needed to get some shit off of my chest

English

I don't have the guts to end it all Life is absolute hell I hate it here I don't have any reason to I have a nice family I guess and more than most people could ask for When I think of that it just makes me feel guilty for not having enough dopamine to function properly I've struggled with on and off self harm since the grade Of course my parents found out it became a big deal I found more discrete ways to do it Few burns to the thighs do the magic I hate everything in my life I feel so tied down so horrible I struggle with POD and its entire package deal I'm overweight, and ugly hirsutism is a freaking pain medications work only to become useless months later I'll probably get diabetes in my s given I survive till than LMAO cause it runs in my family too Oh and I m I hate high school stress I used to be smart and nowadays, no matter how hard I try I'm just not smart enough to make my Asian parents proud of me I just can't anymore, and I want to give up and run away from life My parents except so much from me in a good way and they feel like I have so much potential And I feel so guilty for letting them down every single time and I don't even want to face them anymore I feel so, so guilty that I have tears running down my face as I write this What's weird is there s times when I feel okay Not extremely happy just okay and dissociated from my pain for a good days Then the tinniest of triggers rips my entire emotions open and I'm back to searching up Painless ways to die No I don't want to contact suicide helplines thanks I've tried twice, but I was too scared actually just get it over with I have an overwhelming fear of failure even when it comes to ending my life apparently There's only two things that keeps me from actually just getting it done with I'm scared I'll screw up so bad that I'll end up alive and handicapped And that is something I absolutely fear because I'm a dancer And dancing is the one thing that also keeps me going everyday Jumping from a building only to screw my spinal cords and become a handicap is an everyday nightmare I have a year-old brother And I love him so much that my heart feels full every time I see him Yes he pisses me off sometimes but he loves me so much and the thought of leaving him just breaks me He's literally my only anchor The one person that I can't leave behind I just can't I love him so, so much I'm always in a dilemma because I don't want to be selfish and leave him but I just want to be selfish for myself and end the pain of life for once and for all This post was nothing really not any ask for advice just me pouring my heart out because I've had one of those shitty days today and I can't open up to anyone regardless of how many friends I have If y all read this thanks I guess

English

Days ago my suicide failed The past days I have been desperately trying to figure out why I am alive and I'm just floating here I feel like a corpse with a heartbeat I was so calm and genuinely thought I was slipping away and now I'm here with neck bruising and numbness What do you do when you feel like surviving was a mistake

English

In the middle of another low I don't see why suicide would be a bad thing in my case In a shitty college with shitty people and I don't have the motivation to make myself feel better by joining clubs and finding new people I am on antidepressants, and I am seeing a counselor I'd like to have a discussion about why killing myself would be so bad starting with family I haven't been close to my sister for over years She'll post on my Facebook wall intermittently but that's about it The last time I saw my biological mother was when I was in st grade I'm now She'll be okay I have two stepbrothers but we aren't very close either My stepmom is great but we aren't close My Dad has always been there and single-handedly raised my sister in a foreign country the US with little money while studying full-time for a JD He loves me but I couldn't care less how sad I'd make him feel However family isn't the biggest issue I only keep some contact with my best friends from high school The friends that I have in my current school have either also moved on I'm going to be a super senior or have weird quirks that keep me from being able to develop any deep friendships with them, I am fully aware of what I have accomplished, and I have accomplished some good things but that is irrelevant given that I'm feeling shitty about my social life I guess right now I'm more confused about why I feel so rejected and lonely I just get the sense that the world would lose nothing if I ordered from cyanide pills and died tomorrow I'd definitely make some people sad but they'll move on and that ll be that What would be so bad Really I am listening

French

J'ai un rendez-vous pour moi-même, vous savez une date de mort que j'ai décidée, mais ce n'est qu'en août, j'ai donné cette merde comme des jours, puis quelqu'un m'a dit que j'étais d'accord quand je suis déjà en train de regretter, je sais que les gens autour de moi sont louches, je sais comment cela finira, je ne sais pas pourquoi je continue d'essayer.

English

I'm not sure what to say Its just constant pressure and bullying from my family I'm the youngest of at years old with older sisters and an older brother everyone says that siblings will be siblings but it s at the point where I'm constantly put down by them every day It's constant physical verbal and emotional put downs and I don't know why they always target me I love my parents, but they sit by and do nothing to stop it I'm so fed up, and I don't want to do it anymore School is an escape for me even though I see them sometimes at school My mum knows I struggle with mental health, but it feels like no one cares because nothing ever changes I'm so emotionally drained, and it won't get better since my own parents won't stop it despite me talking about my problems

French

Je redoutais aujourd'hui C'était la pire année de ma vie et j'ai failli ne pas être ici Les gens ici ont été gentils et solidaires et c'est merveilleux de lire des commentaires ici de tout le monde s'entraider et prêter une oreille attentive à écouter Je ne suis toujours pas dans un bon endroit et il y a encore beaucoup de jours J'ai l'impression que c'est trop mais maintenant je suis toujours là et je me bats

English

Sorry to be a bother saw how many people are posting on here, and I realized that me posting on here is probably more of a task than a choice but seeing as I'm already writing I might as well finish This isn't a cry for help This is where I'm posting my note because I plan on overdosing, and I don't want people finding my note until it's already too late I have all I need here with me and in a couple of hours it'll all be over Please understand that I want this I've tried before, and I realized I'll keep trying until I physically can't So here's my note one of many drafted notes but my final and official note Hey everyone If you can read this, and you clicked the link I posted know that it's too late I'm somewhere you won't be able to find me and I've already ingested a fatal amount of meds I know it'll be hard for some of you and for that I'm sorry I already cut off my communication with most of you for months so this wouldn't be so hard and as for the people who ve stuck by me all this time I'd like to thank you I couldn't have asked for better friends and I'm sorry our friendship has to end like this For anyone who asked about my life I'm sorry for lying I'm sorry for saying I could be worse or brushing off the question with a simple good hub I'm sorry Mom and Dad and Shay I know this will haunt you for years, but please know I m in a better place To anyone I've ever had the pleasure of meeting remember to follow your dreams and to forgive always I know it s cliché as heck but that's honestly the best advice I can think of at the moment To the people I've hurt I am so sorry I hope you'll be able to forgive me you know who you are I'm tired of hurting I'm tired of being hurt I don't want to breathe feel love cry feel Life isn't beautiful life is a curse we're all stuck with it just depends on how we cope with it, and now you all know my choice I love you guys Bye P S I won't be checking replying to comments I already made it clear this is just for posting the note

French

Je veux juste mourir Tout ce que je pense c'est mourir et je ne peux pas me permettre d'obtenir de l'aide Tout me stresse et tout ce que je fais c'est dormir J'ai des cauchemars à chaque fois que je dors et je pleure la plupart du temps IDK quoi faire