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<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Yoshino]: "I've had it. This is the final straw..." Thus spoke Yoshino Haruhiko, the only delinquent in our class. [Yoshino]: "Tennouji, you must duel me." [Kotarou]: "Sorry Yoshino, I have no idea how to play card games..." [Yoshino]: "I meant a fistfight!" His eyes are serious. He's a lone wolf, as one might expect, but normally he's calm and collected. So there are surprisingly few people who know that he talks like a cheesy anime or manga character. He sees me as a rival for some reason. I've managed to avoid any conflict so far, but now that's all about to change. I greet him sociably during every break period. I follow him to the bathroom and watch him from behind. I laugh out loud at every single cheesy line he says to show how well we get along. I never stop displaying our friendship through kicking him in the back of the knees and such. Honestly, I can't even imagine why Yoshino's acting so gloomy. [Kotarou]: "This is so sad, Yoshino...friends as close as us should never fight." [Yoshino]: "You were never my friend! I'll pound that into your bones today." [Kotarou]: "You sound serious." [Kotarou]: "...all right, I accept." [Yoshino]: "Meet me behind school after class. There, I will end you." [Kotarou]: "Okay...one thing though." Yoshino's seething rage makes me feel nihilistic. [Yoshino]: "What?" [Kotarou]: "I won't go down that easily." [Yoshino]: "Perfect. I look forward to seeing you cry like a little girl." [Yoshino]: "...after school. Don't forget." [Kotarou]: "Yeah, I know." A manly, passionate promise with "Mad Dog" Yoshino. I completely forgot that promise and went straight home after school. I'm not a very respectable person. [Kotarou]: "Uhahahaha." I thoroughly enjoyed some late-night television, never once remembering our promise. [Kotarou]: "Wahahahaha." I had fun downtown on Saturday, never once remembering our promise. I didn't realize I'd broken our promise until later that night. It was far too late to regret it. I told myself I'd apologize to Yoshino the next chance I got, then went to sleep. Maybe the fact that I treat people lightly is what makes Yoshino dislike me so much.

<METADATA> Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> October 3rd (Sunday) ...as punishment for that half-hearted lifestyle, a certain someone summoned me on Sunday night. [Rikako]: "Kotori hasn't come home yet." [Rikako]: "So..." [Rikako]: "Can you bring her back please." Those two lines don't connect at all. But... [Kotarou]: "All right." I dare not disobey her. She's Madam Rikako, the mother of Kanbe Kotori, my childhood friend. We've been neighbors for a long time, and both of my parents get along with her, so to me, she has more authority than most relatives. Actually, this isn't the first time she's asked me to find her lost daughter. I know where to look for her. I gathered up my equipment and set off immediately. [Kotarou]: "Okay..." I fiddle with my antique cell phone and start up an application. [Kotarou]: "...uuuuwa." She was here...I knew it. [Kotarou]: "You're sleeping...?" She's so defenseless. I suddenly feel tired. All that worrying was for nothing. Kotori's been playing out here since she was a little kid. She showed no interest in the stuff normal girls did, and chose instead to spend all her time in the forest. [Kotarou]: "...what's so fun about it?" To be honest, her playing in the forest at night worries me. But Kotori knows this part of the forest better than anyone, and it's my job to look after her. I should be able to protect her if anything happens. Now, let's bring her home. I poke her shoulder. Kotori doesn't mind being touched just a little. [Kotarou]: "Hey, wake up." [Kotori]: "...uuu." [Kotarou]: "You won't be able to sleep tonight if you sleep now." [Kotori]: "...uuu." [Kotarou]: "Come on." [Kotori]: "...suya." [Kotarou]: "Damn." [Kotarou]: "Hey, Kotori, wake up already." I try shaking her harder. No good. [Kotarou]: "Oh well." I try shaking her again, but she's still not waking up. Her body feels cold too. She must've been sleeping for a while. There are two things I can do in this situation. One, lure her with something she likes. Two, pressure her with something she hates. Okay then. [Kotarou]: "Kotori, I know you love this." I take something out of my pocket, and drop it piece by piece into her palm. *chink* *chink* Pocket change. [Kotori]: "Uhuu..." Kotori's brow furrows. [Kotarou]: "How's that?" *chink* *chink* [Kotori]: "Uunnnn." She stands up. [Kotarou]: "Okay, follow me, follow me." I shake the rest of my coins and walk back the way I came. Kotori staggers behind me. [Kotarou]: "Good, good, keep it up." [Kotori]: "...uuu, uuu." ...she's still half asleep. [Kotarou]: "...you're like a zombie." [Kotori]: "Uuu..." *chink* *chink* [Kotori]: "Uuu～" *chink* *chink* [Kotori]: "Uuuuu～" It's a little scary. I'll have to use this. [Kotarou]: "...don't blame me for this, I'm just doing my job." I take it out of my pocket, and make a small sound with it. *snip* *snip* [Kotori]: "...uu!" Kotori hates the sound of scissors. Cutting noises in general are bad for her. *snip* *snip* [Kotori]: "Uuu, it's cutting me...!" [Kotori]: "Don't cut meee..." She's not waking up, but at least she's muttering in her sleep. I move the scissors closer to her ear. *snip* *snip* [Kotori]: "...stop it." She rolls over to avoid it. Then she stands up and stumbles away. [Kotori]: "...uuu." She's still asleep. [Kotarou]: "It's like you're sleepwalking." *snip* *snip* [Kotori]: "No, don't cuuut..." She flees. That's the right direction. I continue to use the scissors as I follow her. [Kotarou]: "This is nice and easy." Kotori running away. Me following her, brandishing scissors. If someone saw this, I might get into trouble... But we got back in one piece. [Kotarou]: "Wake up already." I gently thump her back. [Kotori]: "...uu!" She looks around. Then at me. [Kotori]: "Ah...Kotarou-kun......?" [Kotarou]: "Morning." [Kotori]: ".........morning." [Kotori]: "Ummm..." She looks around again, and her eyes widen. [Kotori]: "Wa!" [Kotori]: "It's night! It's dark!" [Kotarou]: "You were sleeping in the forest." [Kotori]: "Ah.........that's right. I see, I see." [Kotori]: "Did you carry me all the way here?" [Kotarou]: "...kinda." [Kotori]: "I see...sorry for making you do that." She smiles. [Kotarou]: "It's fine." [Kotarou]: "You were sleeping really well though. It was hard to wake you up." [Kotori]: "I was having a really nice dream." [Kotarou]: "What like?" [Kotori]: "I bought some juice at a vending machine." [Kotarou]: "Okay." [Kotori]: "But when it gave me change, the coins never stopped pouring out. It was amazing!" [Kotarou]: "I guess." [Kotori]: "I kept putting them into my savings box forever and ever and ever..." [Kotori]: "In fact, recently I bought a savings box that can hold ten million yen." [Kotarou]: "You what?" [Kotori]: "It's as big as an oil drum. Aaah, such luxury～" [Kotarou]: "So it can hold 500 coins?" [Kotori]: "...what?" [Kotarou]: "...20,000 bills?" Can she actually save like that? Even if she put in one a day... [Kotori]: "I'll be set for life, heheh." Well, if she's happy, I guess it doesn't matter. [Kotori]: "Actually, I had a really scary dream." [Kotarou]: "What like?" [Kotori]: "I was in a dark forest, being chased by a scary man with scissors. It was horrible." [Kotarou]: "...that was no dream." [Kotori]: "If something like that ever happened in real life..." [Kotarou]: "...you would...?" [Kotori]: "I'd sue him. For money." [Kotarou]: "That dream sounds terrifying." [Kotori]: "I almost wet myself." It was a close call in many ways. [Kotarou]: "Anyway, your mom was worried. You'd better go talk to her."

<METADATA> Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotori]: "Uuoo! You're right!" [Kotarou]: "She'll probably be mad, but you can handle it." [Kotarou]: "If you need to run away, you can stay at my place. We've got a spare room." [Kotori]: "It's fine, my parents are very hands-off." [Kotarou]: "You sure? I think even they'd be mad about you staying out this late." She's come home after sunset before, but this is a record for her. [Kotori]: "That's just because you..." [Rikako]: "Kotori-san, is that you?" [Kotarou]: "Owa!" Madam materializes without warning. [Kotori]: "Ah, yeah. We're back." She gives her daughter a single cold glance. [Rikako]: "I'm glad she wasn't hurt." [Kotori]: "Of course not. That forest is like my backyard." [Kotori]: "It felt so nice I went to sleep by mistake." [Rikako]: "...if you say so." Eh? That's it? She gets acquitted that easily? Madam Rikako looks really harsh, but is she that lenient on her daughter? Her eyes fall on me next. [Rikako]: "Good work." I lower my head like a servant. [Kotarou]: "Sorry, it took a bit longer than expected." [Rikako]: "No, you did well." [Kotarou]: "Thank you." [Kotori]: "Mom, Mom, Kotarou-kun did well." [Kotori]: "Thank him for it. Give him something good." Madam closes her eyes, contemplating this. [Rikako]: "...all right." [Rikako]: "Kotarou-san, I will reward you for this in the near future." [Kotarou]: "Reward...?" [Rikako]: "What?" [Kotarou]: "I gratefully accept." [Rikako]: "Good. Come inside, Kotori-san." She gives off an air of aristocracy as she gracefully walks inside. Kotori stares at me. [Kotarou]: "So..." [Kotarou]: "Are you coming to school tomorrow?" [Kotori]: "Yeah, I think I will. I can't skip every day." [Kotarou]: "Okay. Bye then." [Kotori]: "Good night～" She stiffly waves her hands before following her mother. [Kotarou]: "...okay, that's dealt with." [Kotarou]: "Time to go." [Kotarou]: ".........hm?" I feel someone watching me from behind. [Kotarou]: "...no way." It's gotta be a cat or dog or something. [Kotarou]: "I should go home..." But the moment I start walking, something pushes forward from behind, engulfing my back. Like a sheet of silk. A thick sheet. [Kotarou]: "...eh?" I turn around. Nothing's there. No one's there. There is only the forest. But I can still feel that strange sensation wrapped around my neck. It's smooth...but disturbing. ...a deep forest. A few seconds later, I get goosebumps. I hurry home, almost running. Kotori said the forest was like her backyard. But I just couldn't agree with her on that. Late at night. I was starting to fall asleep, when... [Kotarou]: "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" Suddenly, someone grabs my wrist. Their hand was as cold as ice. [Kotarou]: "Wh-who's there? Who are you!?" I roll out of bed and turn on the lights. No one's there. [Kotarou]: (...am I imagining things?) I can still feel it on my wrist. I know someone tried to pull me by the arm. And their grip was strong enough to make me instantly wake up. As if they were about to pull my arm out of its socket... [Kotarou]: "The hell just happened...?" I look at my wrist under the light. I can see a clear mark where I was grabbed. A hand-shaped mark. I immediately faint. ...this is a dream...right...?

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> I start up an application called Mappie. A map appears on my phone. This thing's kinda like the people version of a satnav. It came bundled with the phone. It records all the terrain I walk through. It counts the number of steps I've taken and can give me simple directions. I guess it's designed for people who like to take walks. It's fun to wander around buildings it has no data for, and watch it automatically draw a map. Plus, I can always find my way out of the forest with this thing. It's pretty good. Now... A huge forest... I'm still close to town, so I can't see many animals or insects. They're probably hiding farther in, away from humans. The forest is a good place for kids to play. Come to think of it...when I was little, I tried to catch stag beetles here. I never found a single one. And that's why I'll never know the true form of a stag beetle. I think I came here a lot when I was little. But at some point I stopped playing here. Because I noticed something. There were no animals or insects in the forest. It felt like an empty world, and I found that boring. But Kotori still comes here a lot for some reason. No one goes with her. She's always alone. She never hangs out downtown. She never stays up late partying. She spends all her free time in the forest. ...it feels a little lonely. I think I've been walking for about thirty minutes. After coming this far, there's no longer any sign of the town. This forest is dark even during daytime. I feel uneasy, like I'm in a deep sea. I've been here a lot, but it still unnerves me. Even when I was little, I never went this far in. I check Mappie. It's still charting my progress. No need to worry about getting lost. I pull out my flashlight and point it ahead of me. Thankfully, the Moon is bright tonight. It's not that hard to walk around here. It's very quiet. It's so humid it feels like a tropical forest. But I can't hear a single insect. It's so unnatural, it makes me wonder if some supernatural creatures are hiding here. I have a baseball bat and helmet, just in case, but I still don't feel safe. Something about this beautiful forest feels wrong. I want to go home. But I need to complete my objective first. [Kotarou]: "...heeey." [Kotarou]: "Heeey, Kotoriii." No answer. Maybe she's farther in. She's living a dangerous life... [Kotarou]: "...heeey, are you here?" [Kotarou]: "Kotori-saaan." [Kotarou]: "Ouwa!?" [Cat]: "Meow～" [Kotarou]: "Oh, it's just a cat..." Don't scare me like that. [Kotarou]: "Go away!" [Cat]: "Hissss!" He tries to intimidate me before running off. That was definitely someone's pet. [Kotarou]: "Geez..." I continue walking as my heart pounds. [Kotarou]: "Gya!?" [Boar]: "Bufu!" [Kotarou]: "Oh, it's just an even-toed ungulate..." It was a boar. For some reason, my embarrassment made me talk like an academic. Don't scare me like that. [Kotarou]: "Go home now...the rest of the zodiac's waiting for you." [Boar]: "Bu! Bu! Bu!" The boar snorted before leaving. [Kotarou]: "That was a pretty rare find..." Now I look like an idiot for saying there were no animals here. [Kotarou]: "Heeey, Kotoriii, time to go home!" [Kotarou]: "Kotoriii?" [Kotarou]: "Can you hear meee?" Going even farther in might be a bit tough. [Kotarou]: "Hiii!?" Something's there! It's huge! [?]: "...mosu." [Kotarou]: "Oh, it's just a.........just a........." [Kotarou]: "...what is this thing?" It's neither a cat nor a boar. It's neither a dog nor a fox. I don't think I've ever seen it before...but it feels familiar. [Kotarou]: "Have we...met somewhere?" Where was it... [?]: "Mosu! Mosu!" It's the size of a large dog. It's round, with a powerful body. Long hair... A long trunk... Long tusks... I know, this is a... [Kotarou]: "That's right...it's just a mammoth..." I saw it in a social studies textbook once. Apparently people used to hunt these things. [?]: "Mo!" [Kotarou]: "Wow, I've never seen one of you before..." It stares at me for a while, but eventually loses interest and looks away. [?]: "Mosu." It walks away calmly. Judging by its size, it's probably just a baby. When it grows up, it'll be the size of a small hill. [Kotarou]: "I'd better hurry..." I start walking faster. ...I stand still. [Kotarou]: "Hm? Is that..." [Kotarou]: "Is that the special kind of book that sets boy's hearts aflame...!?" [Kotarou]: "I know no one's here, but I feel the need to check anyway." [Kotarou]: "Yeeees! I got iiiit!!!" [Kotarou]: "It's just a pamphlet!? God damn iiiiiiiiiit!!!!" [Kotarou]: "From the bottom of my heart: God damn iiiiiiiiiit!!!!" [Kotarou]: "...this is..." [Kotarou]: "...the special kind of book that sets boy's hearts aflame...!?" [Kotarou]: "I can't resist the urge to make sure there's no one here." [Kotarou]: "Heh, heheheh..." [Kotarou]: "She looks plump..." [Kotarou]: "Wait, these are bodybuilders!!! God damn iiiiiiiiiit!!!!" [Kotarou]: "From the bottom of my soul: God damn iiiiiiiiiit!!!!" [Kotarou]: "It's a bird nest. I can see the chicks." [Kotarou]: "What!? A weasel is heading right for them!" [Kotarou]: "Nooooooo!!" [Weasel]: "―!?" [Kotarou]: "He ran away..." [Kotarou]: "But this is just a part of nature. Weasels need to eat too." [Kotarou]: "I don't know what's right anymore...maybe people have to spend their whole lives constantly thinking about it..." [Kotarou]: "Well, I don't need to take it that seriously." [Kotarou]: "Something's written on the tree." [Kotarou]: "It's written in scary letters, like something from a horror movie..." [Kotarou]: ""You are cursed."" [Kotarou]: "There's no way this is talking about me, right...?" [Kotarou]: "One of the branches has bent down really far." [Kotarou]: "Shuu! Shuuu!" [Kotarou]: "This feels a lot like batting a fan's pull string over and over." [Kotarou]: "Mm...?" [Kotarou]: "Th-this is..." [Kotarou]: "A turd!?"

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "Have I really wandered this deep into the forest...?" [Kotarou]: "An animal turd..." [Kotarou]: "Gaaah! I can't stand this!" [Kotarou]: "At least that's how I'd like to respond, but..." [Kotarou]: "This is an animal turd." [Kotarou]: "Let us poke it with a tree branch." [Kotarou]: "*poke* *poke* *poke*" [Kotarou]: "Wahooooo!!" [Kotarou]: "It's not much fun really." [Kotarou]: "Wh-what is this...?" A bizarre creature. Something that cannot exist in daily life. [Legendary Sukumon]: "Gao." [Kotarou]: "Eh? Is this paper mache or something?" [Legendary Sukumon]: "Gao." [Kotarou]: "Crap, it looks fresh..." [Kotarou]: "Eh? What? You're following me? Why?" [Kotarou]: "You'll hide your form so people won't freak out? Well, if you insist..." Then it vanishes in an instant. [Kotarou]: "...am I dreaming...?" You caught Legendary Sukumon!

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> October 4th (Monday) Morning. [Kotarou]: (Huh...?) What happened last night...? [Kotarou]: (...my wrist...) A ghost...? A chill runs down my spine. I check my wrist, but there's nothing there. [Kotarou]: (Did I imagine all that...?) I should just forget that stuff. Focus on reality. [Kotarou]: (Today...) [Kotarou]: (Kotori said she'd go to school today...) This is an important day. I got back at dawn, so I've only been asleep for a few hours. I'm pretty tired, but I'll be fine. I eat breakfast and get ready for school. I make my morning call. [Kotarou]: "Is that you, Kotori? It's almost time for school." [Kotori]: "Owaaaa!?" That's all I need to hear to understand her predicament. [Kotarou]: "Kotori, did you...!?" [Kotori]: "Owaaaa!" [Kotarou]: "...hey." [Kotori]: "Owawaaaa!" [Kotarou]: "...come on." [Kotori]: "Owaaaa! Owawaaaa!" [Kotori]: "I just woke up!" [Kotarou]: "Thought so..." [Kotori]: "What do I do!?" [Kotarou]: "Could you get your stuff together and meet me outside? I'll wait five minutes." [Kotori]: "But I can't go outside looking like this, it'll take half an hour..." [Kotori]: "And I have bed hair." [Kotarou]: "...uuu." I should've called when I got up. I was hoping to go to school with her for once, but... [Kotarou]: "We won't make it if we don't leave in five minutes. Should I wait anyway?" [Kotori]: "Uuu, you don't have to do that. Go without me, Kotarou-kun." [Kotarou]: "I don't really care if I'm late." [Kotori]: "No, no, don't be late because of me. That's not right." [Kotarou]: "Mmmm, but still..." [Kotori]: "Just go. Don't wait for me." [Kotarou]: "...fine. I'll go by myself today." [Kotori]: "Sorry." [Kotarou]: "...just to be sure, are you feeling okay?" [Kotori]: "Unya...I'm feeling fine, but...I slept for too long." [Kotarou]: "Probably because of that long nap yesterday." [Kotori]: "Probably..." [Kotarou]: "Mm. Anyway, see you later." I hang up and sigh. This is the Kanbe Kotori I know. Dealing with her is pretty tough. I'll be walking to school alone today, as usual. Let's go... [Kotarou]: (It's huge...) I think that every time I arrive here in the morning. The interior is ridiculously huge too. There aren't even that many students. This is the pinnacle of inefficient education. [Kotarou]: (Finally made it...) [Kotarou]: (...what's going on?) The classroom is in an uproar. Everyone turns toward me. I feel like I did something bad. [Kotarou]: "...good morning." The room suddenly became less tense. [Schoolboy A]: "Good morning, Tennouji-kun." [Schoolboy A]: "What happened? You're wet and smell like moss." [Kotarou]: "Don't worry about it." That's because I dove into a lake. [Kotarou]: "...what happened?" [Schoolboy B]: "A transfer student's coming today." [Kotarou]: "Really?" [Schoolboy A]: "But no one's seen her yet." [Kotarou]: "I see. So that's what you're all excited about." [Schoolboy A]: "Exactly. And we know it's a girl." [Kotarou]: "Oooh..." [Schoolboy C]: "Kaaaa! It's no good!" Someone rushes into the classroom. [Schoolboy A]: "Oh, how'd it go?" [Schoolboy C]: "I got as far as the staff room, but I couldn't get a visual on the transfer student." [Kotarou]: "Are you guys in middle school?" [Schoolboy B]: "Don't you wanna know what she looks like too...?" [Schoolgirl A]: "Boys are so stupid. This isn't that big a deal." One of the girls spoke up. [Schoolboy A]: "Wh-what? ...what's wrong with it? Why do you care!?" [Schoolgirl B]: "You're just making a bigger idiot out of yourself by acting defensive." [Schoolboy B]: "What did you say!? Only idiots call other people idiots!" [Schoolgirl C]: "How old are you?" [Schoolboy C]: "Shut up, stupid girl!" A traditional gender war began. [Kotarou]: (Again...?) This happens a lot here. It makes me think of plants in a greenhouse. Grasses and flowers carefully raised in a gentle environment. Does Kazamatsuri just make people live more happily? Anyway, there's an exception to every rule. As always, this guy is just... He's glaring at me sharply. He doesn't seem to care how dangerous he looks to everyone around him. Me, Kotori, and this guy called Yoshino are the outcasts of the class. We're completely different from each other, but... We all stand out from the crowd somehow. Kotori and Yoshino have no friends either. I'm the only one who can talk to everyone. Only me, out of the three of us. Yes, that's why... [Kotarou]: (It's like he wants to cut me up or something...) I'm scared, so I look away, pretending not to notice. [Yoshino]: "...you're not fooling anyone." Yoshino's always aggressive, but it's worse than usual today. ...did I do something to him? [Yoshino]: "You bastard...stop playing dumb..." [Yoshino]: "...dead end..." [Yoshino]: "I will...give you a taste of my...dead end knuckles." Dangerous whispers reach my ears. [Kotarou]: (Crap...he's saying some scary things...) [Kotarou]: (But I can't do anything about it right now...) The teacher should be coming any minute now. He won't try to pull anything yet. Or so I thought. Yoshino's standing up. [Yoshino]: "...hey, shithead." I pretend not to hear him. [Yoshino]: "I know you can hear me." [Kotarou]: "...Kotori's really late...I'm getting kinda worried." I know it won't work, but I try ignoring him anyway. [Yoshino]: "...mm!" [Yoshino]: "Are you so worried about Kanbe that my words don't even reach you...?" [Yoshino]: "...hmph." I don't believe it. He's backing off. [Kotarou]: "...phew." After a while, I tried glancing in Yoshino's direction. [Kotarou]: (Crap! Eye contact!) [Yoshino]: "Hey, I saw that." [Kotarou]: "I didn't do anything." [Yoshino]: "Look at me."

<METADATA> Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "I don't wanna." [Yoshino]: "What...?" [Yoshino]: "My face is so disgusting...you can't bear to look at it...!?" [Kotarou]: "That's not what I said." Something's wrong with him. [Kotarou]: "Calm down a bit. Let's talk like adults here." [Yoshino]: "You know I can't do that." [Yoshino]: "You and I are like Abel and Cain, water and fire, darkness and light." [Yoshino]: "Either I destroy you, or you destroy me...that is all." [Kotarou]: "You really have a way with words." [Yoshino]: "Silence." Yoshino reaches out and grabs me by the chest. The whole class is tense now. I can feel it. [Yoshino]: "...are you mocking me? Are you?" [Kotarou]: "No I'm not. Calm down." [Yoshino]: "No, you are mocking me." [Kotarou]: "Why are you so mad today?" [Yoshino]: "Are you serious?" [Kotarou]: "Huh?" [Yoshino]: "Put your hand on your heart and think about it." [Kotarou]: "I still have no idea." [Yoshino]: "You really aren't joking?" [Kotarou]: "Did something happen? Sorry, but I forget things a lot..." [Yoshino]: "Then you'll have plenty of time to remember it in the sick room." Yoshino clenches a fist. [Teacher]: "Okaaay, Yoshino-kun, time for homeroom～ Let's all sit down～" [Yoshino]: "...fine. I'll deal with you later." Yoshino returns to his seat. I'm safe for now. [Teacher]: "Good morning everyone." [Students]: "Good morning teacher!" [Teacher]: "So...we were going to introduce the transfer student today, but for some reason she's not here yet～♪" Everyone in the class immediately falls to the ground. [Kotarou]: (What does that mean...?) [Teacher]: "So we'll introduce her tomorrow." [Teacher]: "If she shows up during class, please tell her to go to the staff room instead. I'll take roll now." That's odd. The moment homeroom ends, Yoshino leaps at me again. [Yoshino]: "How dare you blow me off over the weekend...!" [Teacher]: "Sit down, Yoshino!" The first period teacher got here fast. [Yoshino]: "...fine. Just you wait." He's wasting a lot of energy on this. About halfway through class, the rear door creaks open. [Kotarou]: "Hm...?" It moves a centimeter every ten seconds. Someone's trying to sneak into the classroom. Slowly... Very slowly... It stops at about thirty centimeters. [?]: "Okay, there..." The intruder enters on all fours. She's clearly trying to melt into the classroom without getting spotted, but... ...it's just not gonna work. Her seat is in the second row from the front. How could she possibly get there unseen? A grand battle is about to begin. [?]: "Nn! Mm..." She holds her bookbag in her mouth, and crawls toward the front. She's small enough it might actually work. [Teacher]: "I already marked you absent, Kanbe, so you can just go to your seat." [Kotori]: "...oops." She heads to her seat uncomfortably. [Kotori]: "Sorry...I'm late." [Teacher]: "Be more careful next time." Break time. [Yoshino]: "Youuu! Tennouji! Why did you-...!?" [Kotori]: "It was just terrible, I didn't think she'd actually see me! Me! I have a newfound respect for teachers! You can't get away with doing bad things no matter how hard you try." She starts talking to me with a bright smile. He shuffles back to his seat. [Kotori]: "Sorry about this morning." [Kotarou]: "It's cool." I should be the one thanking you right now. [Kotori]: "I was so close to getting in unnoticed." [Kotarou]: "No, you weren't. You were really obvious." [Kotori]: "Was I?" [Kotarou]: "I saw the door open." [Kotori]: "Oh my." [Kotori]: "Honestly I thought I'd done it the moment my butt fit through that thirty centimeter gap!" [Kotori]: "But apparently not." She squeezes her own butt. [Kotori]: "Having a small butt comes in handy sometimes." [Kotori]: "But I'd better not be late next time..." [Kotarou]: "Yeah, they count you as absent after five minutes, so no point turning up if you don't make it on time." [Kotori]: "True." [Kotori]: "Gotta go to the bathroom." Kotori leaves and Yoshino immediately lunges toward me. [Kotarou]: "You look restless." [Yoshino]: "Tennouji, listen." [Kotarou]: "O-okay." [Yoshino]: "I cannot forgive anyone who looks down on me..." [Yoshino]: "No matter who it is, I will knock them down. Even if it's God himself!" Suddenly he's talking like a fighting manga protagonist. [Kotarou]: "Even if it's God himself..." I say it myself, and the hilarity overwhelms me. [Kotarou]: "Hu!" I couldn't hold it in. [Yoshino]: ".........I'll kill you." He grabs my chest. And then I finally remember. [Kotarou]: "I-I am sorry about blowing you off over the weekend..." [Yoshino]: "So you did remember it!" [Kotarou]: "Would you believe me if I said I only just remembered it?" [Yoshino]: "Hell no. I'm telling you to stop belittling people. Keep it up and I'll take your money too." [Kotarou]: "You sound serious about this." [Yoshino]: "Yeah, prepare yourself...you'll be sleeping with the fishes in ten minutes...in a sea of your own blood." [Kotarou]: "Sleeping with the fishes...in a sea of my own blood?" [Kotarou]: "Huhuuu!" [Yoshino]: "...screw youuuuuuuuu!" [Kotori]: "What are you two talking about? It sounds fun." [Kotori]: "Come on, tell me." His raised fist falls weakly to his side. [Yoshino]: "...it doesn't involve you. This is between men." [Kotori]: "Hm? Are you two fighting?" [Kotarou]: "Help me, Kotori. Yoshino's going to hit me." [Yoshino]: "...damn." [Kotori]: "Yoshino-kun, is that true?" [Yoshino]: "Women have nothing to do with it..." [Kotori]: "That's a really outdated attitude. You won't get popular talking like that." [Kotarou]: "She's right! Stop bullying her!" [Yoshino]: "Shut up. I'm the victim here!" [Kotori]: "What does he mean, Kotarou-kun?" I hide behind Kotori and speak firmly.

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "He's exaggerating. All I did was forget to meet up with him over the weekend." [Yoshino]: "It was an important promise!" [Kotori]: "What were you planning to do?" [Kotarou]: "Well..." [Yoshino]: "Don't tell her! I'll hit you!!" [Kotarou]: "You rely on violence too much." [Yoshino]: "Uuuuu..." He grinds his teeth, enduring. [Kotarou]: "...as you can see, he's bullying me." [Kotori]: "But it looks like you're having a friendly squabble." [Kotori]: "Let's try to get along." [Kotarou]: "We can all be friends." [Yoshino]: "Don't joke about this. Who would want to be friends with..." [Kotori]: "Actually, I think it might work." [Kotori]: "Be friends, be friends." [Kotori]: "You can do it, I know you can." [Yoshino]: "Shut up! That's just disturbing..." [Yoshino]: "The only thing we'll do together is settle this fight!" He raises his fist again. [Yoshino]: "Tennouji... Take this!!" [Teacher]: "Use that linear acceleration to get back in your seat, Yoshino." [Yoshino]: "...shit." [Yoshino]: "The education system has saved you again, Tennouji..." [Kotarou]: (He's sounding weirder and weirder...) [Kotori]: "It's a draw, it's a draw." They both return to their seats. I feel a little lonely. At times like this, I always think... If we hung out together, we'd have all sorts of fun. Lunch break. Yoshino's leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed. Apparently he's given up for now. He always eats his meals alone. He's kind of a loner. Around lunch he usually kills time like that, then once the crowds have finished moving he leaves. And he doesn't seem to think anything of it. [Kotarou]: (...it's a lot like what I do.) I look around the classroom. People going to the cafeteria. People putting their desks together to eat with friends. Everyone's having a fun lunch. Kotori's also sitting alone at her desk, opening up the bentou she brought. I want to get along with Yoshino better. Maybe I should try eating with him... [Kotarou]: "Yoshino, you don't have anyone to go get your food for you, right?" [Kotarou]: "Some delinquent you are." [Kotarou]: "But at this rate you won't eat anything, will you?" [Kotarou]: "Let's go to the cafeteria." [Kotarou]: "Come on Yoshino, no whining." [Kotarou]: "You'll miss out on all the good lunches." [Kotarou]: "That hurts, Yoshino." [Yoshino]: "Stop talking to me like we're friends!" [Yoshino]: "Why do you think I started ignoring you after third period...?" [Kotarou]: "You got sick of trying...?" [Yoshino]: "I was being merciful! How thickheaded are you!?" [Kotarou]: "You've always been so harsh." [Yoshino]: "Because you won't stop pestering me." [Kotarou]: "I'm not pestering..." [Kotarou]: "I'm just talking to you." [Yoshino]: "And I do not want to talk to you." [Yoshino]: "If you don't wanna get hit, leave." [Yoshino]: "And don't come back until you want to fight." [Kotarou]: "You really don't like me." [Yoshino]: "No I don't." [Kotarou]: "You shouldn't be like that." [Kotarou]: "You know that's why you have no friends, right?" [Yoshino]: "Good. I don't want any." I have learned one thing from talking to him. Acting too cool makes you look stupid. [Yoshino]: "...why are you smirking?" [Kotarou]: "No, I'm not." But I can't stop my shoulders shaking. [Yoshino]: "...begone." [Kotarou]: "...the solar plexus? ...that hurts..." [Yoshino]: "...hmph." He grunts before standing up, for some reason. [Kotarou]: "You won't eat?" [Yoshino]: "Not with you." ...he really does hate me. [Kotarou]: "...Kotori." [Kotori]: "Hm?" She makes a frighteningly loud noise. [Kotarou]: "Mind if I eat lunch here?" [Kotori]: "If you want...but did you bring a bentou?" She's right. I never bring my own lunch to school. It's already too late to go to the cafeteria. [Kotarou]: "...I'll go find something to eat." [Kotori]: "Bye-bye." ...there's this sad distance between us. Whenever I try to hang out with someone, it ends up not happening for some reason. Instead I go to a high-class bentou store near the school. I got a bit overexcited though, and bought something they called a "Parisian Sandwich Bentou." Of course, we're not allowed to leave campus. But it's a rich-boy school, so there isn't a single guard. Just like when I left, I get back to campus by simply climbing a fence. Admittedly, if a teacher sees me it'll get confiscated. And I wasted a lot of time waiting in line. Everyone else is probably done eating by now. I'd better eat this before heading back. [Kotarou]: (Why do I do everything by myself?) I'm over halfway through my second year. I must have had chances to make friends at some point. I'd really like to do something about this. While thinking about that, I hop down from the fence. [Kotarou]: "Hm?" The plastic bag got stuck on something. Looks like one of the wires in the fence is sticking out. [Kotarou]: "C-crap." Plastic bags tear so easily. ...*splat* [Kotarou]: "Uwacha!?" The bentou falls apart and kisses the ground. [Kotarou]: "Uwaaa...now what?" I'm gonna have to buy another one... I return to the shop, and realize something. My wallet feels light. [Kotarou]: "Oops..." A mere 150 yen. The best food I can buy with this would probably be cup ramen. Without any other choice, I rush into a convenience store and pick a random cup. I heat it up in the store before leaving. Then I head to the park to eat it. This is one of my favorite places. It's the ideal location for sitting down on a bench and staring off into space. And there are just the right number of people, so it doesn't feel empty or crowded. I make loud noises as I slurp the noodles. [Kotarou]: "This is good..." [Kotarou]: "But my sandwiches..." They fell directly onto the ground when I dropped them, so I'd better give up on them. But poor people like me have trouble throwing things away. ...Parisian sandwiches and cup ramen. That's a huge difference...

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> Just the fact that one is called "Parisian" makes the gap between them huge...like a Pomeranian versus a greater daemon. But this cup ramen is good... When you only eat it once in a while, it's really good. Given the price, it's impossible to complain about it. Cup ramen is a powerful ally for the commoner. But no one wants to eat it every day. It's a strange food. Come to think of it, how are you supposed to abbreviate "cup ramen?" Maybe "cupra?" [Kotarou]: "Haaa, this cupra is gooood." [Kotarou]: "*slurp*～" [Cat]: "Meow～" A friendly cat approaches. [Kotarou]: "Oh, you want some too?" A cat probably wouldn't mind having dirt on their food. [Kotarou]: "But do they eat sandwiches?" I offer it to the cat anyway. [Kotarou]: "Oh...he ate it." [Kotarou]: "He seems to like it..." There's another cat watching us from afar. [Kotarou]: "Come on, you can eat too." [Cat]: "Hiss!" [Kotarou]: "Mm." He seems violent. I pull bits of tuna out of the sandwich and toss them toward the violent cat. [Cat]: "Hiss!" The cat picks it up with his mouth and runs off. [Kotarou]: "He's really bad at this..." [Kotarou]: "Friendly cats like you probably get much more food." [Cat]: "Meow～" Well, some humans are like that too. I pick up my trash and leave the park. [Kotarou]: "Oh, almost forgot..." At some point three other cats had joined in, so there were four of them crowding around the empty sandwich box I forgot to throw away. [Kotarou]: "Bye now, have a good life." As I leave... [Cat]: "Hiss." The violent cat returns for the scraps. [Kotarou]: "...that guy's always hissing." I wave goodbye to the hissy cat and walk away. The uphill road to school. Below me I can see the city, covered in green. I've never compared it to other cities, but this is a lot of green. The nearby mountains in particular are completely covered in it. In elementary school we took a kind of social sciences class called "Our Town." From what I learned back then, the forest around here is under government control. Which means humans are protecting the forest here. I could even go look for beetles there in the summer. Memories are beautiful. Viva mother nature. I think all children need to go looking for insects at some point. If they don't get used to how icky critters like that move around, they won't be able to calmly deal with more disgusting creatures. Boys need to be able to deal with things like that. Ideally, if something leaps at them, they should be able to go "hmph" and punch it to the ground. Unfortunately I didn't get used to those things, so I'm still kinda bad at dealing with insects. In fact, I'm like a herbivore who goes "Kyaaa!" the moment I see them. ...I did go looking for bugs, but I never found any. [Kotarou]: "Mm..." *rustle* I hear something above me. [Kotarou]: "Hm?" ...I look up, and see nothing. I look down, and find a cardboard box at the bottom of a tree. [Kotarou]: "What's this doing here?" Is there something above it? I try looking into the tree again. That instant... [???]: "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!?" *rustle* *rustle* *rustleeee!* A tremendous noise erupts overhead. [Kotarou]: "Whoa!? Wh-what happened?" [???]: "O-owowow..." [Kotarou]: "Uwaa..." A girl fell from the sky... Her uniform is different from ours, so she must be from a different school. I could tell she was in trouble, but I couldn't think for a few seconds. The loud rustling of leaves. The light pouring through the tree. A girl with orange hair. ...writhing around like a fish in a net. I can't tell if this is poetic or tragic. Wait, doesn't this mean she fell!? [Kotarou]: "Heeey, a-are you okay!?" I try getting her attention. [???]: "Ah!" She starts wriggling. The branches shake, but she fails to dislodge herself. Her body is stuck in a U-shape between two huge branches, and she can't seem to get up. [Schoolgirl]: "I'm probably not okay...I can't get down." [Kotarou]: "Umm..." After falling that spectacularly, you'd think she'd be injured somehow... [Kotarou]: "Are you hurt?" [Schoolgirl]: "I hurt all over because all the branches scraped me." So no serious injuries... Once I know that, I start thinking again. First, let's reassess the situation. This cardboard box probably contains the girl's stuff. It's a perfectly ordinary box, with a moving company's logo on it. There's nothing strange about it at all. The girl didn't exactly fall from the sky either. She probably slipped and fell from somewhere higher up the hill. But still, there should be guard rails up there, so something must've really knocked her over. But even then, would she fall over it...? Come to think of it, I saw an American cartoon once where the hero got blown into a dump truck, then leaped out of it along with what he was carrying, and landed at his destination. She must've been trying to do something like that. Hop off the hill, and... "Hello～ You've got mail!" ...completing the delivery the moment she landed. Yeah, that would be pretty quick. So, when the dump truck showed up... "Uooryaaaaaaa! Now's my chaaaaaaance!!" ...and she managed to jump this far, but didn't quite stick the landing at the end...I guess. A perfect explanation. Although it makes perfect sense, most people would die from that so it's clearly not right. I stopped being an idiot and looked back up. [Kotarou]: "Dare I ask how you ended up in there?" [Schoolgirl]: "I fell～" [Kotarou]: "I see...I guess that makes sense." That's normal. No helping it if she fell. Anyway, she can't move right now, so I'd better help. [Kotarou]: "I'll come up there and help. Sit tight." [Schoolgirl]: "Ah!" [Kotarou]: "Hm?" [Schoolgirl]: "D-don't you dare look at my underwear!!" [Kotarou]: "Well...I wasn't planning on looking..." [Kotarou]: "But given the position you're in, it's gonna be really hard not to see it." [Schoolgirl]: "Waaa! Waaa!!" She tries to push her short skirt down. ...incidentally, why do girls wear such short skirts if they don't want anyone to see their panties? [Schoolgirl]: "If you're gonna come up here make sure you don't look!" [Kotarou]: "It's kinda hard to climb without looking up, you know. Not much I can do about it." I'd almost certainly see them as soon as I reached the base of the tree. [Schoolgirl]: "Don't look at them anyway!" [Kotarou]: "Umm, what do you want me to do then?" [Kotarou]: "Do you want my help or not?"

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Schoolgirl]: "N-no! Please help me! I can't get down!" I think. This is quite a conundrum... Let's check some other angles. ...ah, crap, I saw a bit of pink. [Kotarou]: "Can't you hide them with something?" [Schoolgirl]: "No, I can't move at all." [Kotarou]: "So you want me to climb up that tree and save you without looking up, or in your general direction?" [Schoolgirl]: "Yes!" [Kotarou]: "Can't do it." [Kotarou]: "Since you give me no other choice, I'll just move on and pretend I saw nothing." I wave my hand, turn around and walk off. [Schoolgirl]: "Aaah!? What's with you? Don't be so mean!!" [Kotarou]: "But it's impossible. What am I supposed to do?" [Schoolgirl]: "And you call yourself a man!?" [Kotarou]: "Should you really be talking like that when asking someone else for help?" [Kotarou]: "Well, I saw nothing, so I'll just move on..." [Kotarou]: "So you can keep waiting, and imagining what it'd be like if some old pervert found you, said "Nice panties!" and took a picture. I'm sure it'd be much worse than letting me see them." [Schoolgirl]: "I-I don't want that～!" [Kotarou]: "Whoops, I started talking to myself even though I didn't see anything. I should keep walking while mimicking a certain someone." [Kotarou]: "Namely, our former Prime Minister Koizumi, who used to watch little kids' hero shows despite his age." [Kotarou]: "...umm, hey, the warrior, hey...oh, hero! This...destroy...this organization!! I am in awe!!" [Schoolgirl]: "Huhuu!" Ah, she laughed. No one's ever laughed at that gag before. [Schoolgirl]: "A-anyway, you're a boy, so you should help me!" [Kotarou]: "So it's okay if I see them?" [Schoolgirl]: "N-no!" [Kotarou]: "Okay then...Nice panties!" [Schoolgirl]: "I-I get the poooint!" [Kotarou]: "There." I rescue her without incident. [Schoolgirl]: "Haa, I'm saved..." Fortunately, she really does have no serious injuries. ...how tough is she? [Kotarou]: "So how did you end up here again?" [Schoolgirl]: "The truth is, I'm actually a transfer student." [Kotarou]: "Oooh." What else could you possibly be? Well, I guess that means this is the girl everyone was excited about. [Schoolgirl]: "But I couldn't figure out where the school was..." [Schoolgirl]: "I finally found it and walked all the way here, but I was kinda tired so I put my stuff on the guard rail to take a break." [Schoolgirl]: "Then I lost my balance and fell headfirst..." [Kotarou]: "Well, that's pretty dumb..." [Schoolgirl]: "Uu, uuu..." [Kotarou]: "Nah, it's fine. It happens to everyone." I reassure her with a cheery smile. Ah, she blushed... I can't quite tell if she's mad or embarrassed. [Kotarou]: "So you spent all morning wandering around town?" [Kotarou]: "Nah, it's fine. It happens to everyone." Once more I reassure her with a cheery smile. [Schoolgirl]: "Uuu...th-this is humiliating..." [Kotarou]: "Should we get going then?" [Schoolgirl]: "Huh?" [Kotarou]: "...to school?" [Schoolgirl]: "The humiliation is becoming unbearable." [Kotarou]: "Like I said, it's fine." [Schoolgirl]: "Eh? ...aaah, well, okay." [Kotarou]: "Ah, is this your stuff?" I gesture toward the box. Did she carry this thing all around town...? I should at least carry it for her. [Kotarou]: "Umph..." I put my hands in the holes on each side, and raise my hips. [Kotarou]: ".........!?" Th-this is heavy!! Unbelievably heavy...! [Kotarou]: "Uu! Uuoooooooooooooooo..." *thud* I dropped it. No way... I'll try lifting it from the bottom. [Kotarou]: "Uu! Uuoooooooooooooooooo..." It's still really heavy. My hips start screaming almost instantly. I try handing it to the girl. [Schoolgirl]: "Hm?" She grabs it without effort. No, I'm pretty sure I'm not that weak. [Schoolgirl]: "Umm～?" [Kotarou]: "Hang on a sec." I try doing pull-ups on one of the tree's lower branches. [Kotarou]: "Uu! Uu!" Not too hard. If anything my arms are stronger than average. Something's not right here. This girl was able to hold that box with her slender arms and wander around town for hours with it. [Schoolgirl]: "What are you doing?" [Kotarou]: "Checking something." [Schoolgirl]: "I don't understand." [Kotarou]: "Okay, let's try this." I take the box again. Here goes... [Kotarou]: "Uu! Uuoooooooooooooooooo..." It's still heavy...!! [Schoolgirl]: "Umm..." [Kotarou]: "What is it?" [Schoolgirl]: "I can tell you're trying to look calm, but your face is bright red, and your veins are popping out." [Kotarou]: "I'm just embarrassed." [Schoolgirl]: "I don't think that'd make your veins pop." [Schoolgirl]: "Is it heavy?" [Kotarou]: "There's no way this box can be heavy if a girl carried it around for hours all by herself." [Schoolgirl]: "Your arms are quivering." [Kotarou]: "They're just excited..." [Schoolgirl]: "No, I'll carry it. I'm pretty strong." [Kotarou]: "No way...!! I can't walk empty-handed while a girl carries this..." [Kotarou]: "My pride as a man will not allow it...!!" I find myself spurred on by a bizarre sense of duty. [Schoolgirl]: "Umm...I can tell you're eager to do this, but I'd prefer you didn't drop it." [Kotarou]: "Leave it to me...you have nothing to worry about...!!" [Schoolgirl]: "Umm, I'm already very worried about it." [Schoolgirl]: "It's fine, I'll carry it." [Kotarou]: "Eeeeeeeh..." She grabs the box from me. But I can't let her take it. It's just not cool. [Schoolgirl]: "Mu." *yank* She pulls on me. I fight back. [Schoolgirl]: "Mumu..." *yank* *yank* *yank* [Schoolgirl]: "Please give it back!!" She puts a little more strength into it, and... *pop* [Kotarou]: "Ah." The box tears. [Schoolgirl]: "Wa...!" She loses her balance.

<METADATA> Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Schoolgirl]: "Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!" *thump!* *roll* *roll* *roll* *roll* *craaaaash!!!* She rolled and fell down the hill... [Kotarou]: "N-not good! Not good!" She collides with the guard rail and falls right over it...! I rush toward her. [Kotarou]: "Heeey! Umm, transfer studeeent!" I listen. [Schoolgirl]: "O-owww～" An answer. She isn't dead. Looks like a tree caught her again. That's twice in a row...she's really lucky... Well, actually she had pretty bad luck. [Schoolgirl]: "What on earth do you think you're doing!?" She yells at me. [Kotarou]: "Eh? Umm..." This is my fault? Anyway, she seems fine. [Schoolgirl]: "Wait, waaaaaaaaaa!" And then she falls. More loud rustling noises. [Kotarou]: "Uwaaa..." It's hard to react any other way at this point. Then... I hear a loud siren going wee-ooo-wee-ooo as an ambulance approaches. [Paramedic]: "Hey! Are you all right!?" [Schoolgirl]: "Eh? Yeah, I'm fine." [Paramedic]: "Thank goodness we were driving by! Hurry, to the hospital!!" [Schoolgirl]: "U-u-umm! I'm just fine!" [Paramedic]: "There's no way you'd be fine after falling from that height! Bring the stretcher!" [Schoolgirl]: "Wait, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!?" The paramedics put the transfer student on the stretcher with incredible efficiency, and carry her into the ambulance. [Schoolgirl]: "I told you I'm just fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!" Wee-ooo-wee-ooo... The siren exhibits the Doppler effect as the ambulance drives away. I simply stand there, agape. [Kotarou]: "That was quite the transfer student..." Transfer students really do make crazy things happen. By the way, cherries. ...well, you know, I was able to see them. It's kinda childish for a girl at her age. I can see why she wouldn't want anyone to see. Still... [Kotarou]: "Is she really okay...?" I don't feel worried, but she did fall from the hill twice, so any normal person would have broken bones. Though I guess that ambulance will take care of her... She did seem pretty tough too. [Kotarou]: "Okay." I refocus myself, and climb up the hill. I get a push cart from the janitor's room and go back down the hill. [Kotarou]: "Well, I can't just leave it here." I put the box on the cart and turn around. Fortunately only the handles tore. If I tried carrying it again it'd probably break, so getting this cart was a good call. [Kotarou]: "Mmm...it's still really heavy." And since I'm going uphill, it keeps leaning to one side. Speaking of which, what's in there anyway? Unfortunately looking inside would violate her privacy. I'm not the type of person to do such a horrible thing. I am curious, but the right thing to do is carry this to the school without looking. I push the cart up toward the school. When I get inside, it hits me. Where am I supposed to leave this? She's transferring into my class, so if I leave it in the classroom it should get to her. But it seems important to her, so that might not be good enough. Maybe I should leave it in the staff room. [Yoshino]: "Hey. You. What're you doing?" [Kotarou]: "Oh, perfect timing. Get on!" [Yoshino]: "Huh? On what?" [Kotarou]: "This thing." I point to the cart. [Yoshino]: "...are you stupid?" [Kotarou]: "You think so? Sitting down here gives you a lower point of view so you get a great sense of speed." [Kotarou]: "I'll push you as hard as I can, so get on!" [Yoshino]: "Screw you. Play your stupid games by yourself." [Kotarou]: "Come on, it's fun." [Yoshino]: "You're wasting my time." [Kotarou]: "Eh? You're sure it won't be fun?" [Yoshino]: "You...do you really think I'd do something that childish...?" [Kotarou]: "Don't hold it in." [Yoshino]: "What makes you think I am!?" [Kotarou]: "Hmmm, Yoshino, you're more serious than I thought." [Kotarou]: "I guess you'd never do something as lawless as ride on a push cart." [Yoshino]: "What did you say...?" [Yoshino]: "I like the way you think." He gets on without a fight. [Yoshino]: "Don't underestimate me...I'll show you how lawless I am..." He sits down on the cart. [Yoshino]: "Do it!" [Kotarou]: "Oouu!" Yoshino plays with me. *roll* *roll* *roooooll!!!* We race down the hallway with a tremendous rolling sound. Yoshino sits on the cart as I push him along. [Kotarou]: "Yahoooo!" [Yoshino]: "Uwaaahahahahaha! This is so much fuuun!" [Kotarou]: "Uwaaai! Gooo, full speeeeed!" *rollrollrollrollrollrollroooooooll!* [Third-Year Girl]: "What's going on?" [Third-Year Girl]: "Uhuhu, they're playing with the push cart. How adorable." [Yoshino]: "We're just making girls laugh at us!!!" [Kotarou]: "Well...it was still lawless." [Yoshino]: "I understand now...there's nothing lawless about that! You're just a stupid child!!" [Kotarou]: "You suuuure?" [Yoshino]: "Yes I'm sure!" I receive a kick for my trouble. [Kotarou]: "Ow! Okay! Okay, fine!" [Kotarou]: "Then let's throw out the childish part and try going for some truly insane speed." [Yoshino]: "A mad rampage throwing caution to the wind...sounds dangerous. Now that's lawless." He sits down on the cart. [Yoshino]: "I am the king of speed!" [Kotarou]: "Oouu!" Yoshino plays with me again. *roll* *roll* *roooooll!!!* We race down the hallway again with a tremendous rolling sound. Yoshino sits on the cart as I push him along. [Yoshino]: "Come on, come on, outta the way! Move it, move iiiit!" [Yoshino]: "Uwaaahahahahaparariraparariraaa!" [Kotarou]: "Parirariparirariii!" [Third-Year Girl]: "What's going on?" [Third-Year Girl]: "Uhuhu, they're playing with the push cart. How adorable." [Yoshino]: "They're reacting exactly the same way they did last time!!!" [Kotarou]: "Eh? But wasn't it lawless?" [Yoshino]: "The fact that we're racing around on a push cart is what they're finding "adorable!""

<METADATA> Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "Well, aren't you glad it wasn't any worse? Some people might just call it stupid." [Yoshino]: "Don't make me do stupid things!" Yoshino takes a stance as he says that. Being kicked hurts, so I step back. [Kotarou]: "Wasn't it fun?" [Yoshino]: "You...after causing me such shame, you dare ask if it was fun?" [Yoshino]: "How do you plan to compensate me for this...?" [Kotarou]: "Didn't you ride it voluntarily?" [Yoshino]: "You tricked me into doing that with your skilled conversationalism!" I guess I can have some confidence about that. I've leveled-up to a Skilled Conversationalist. *ding* *dong* [Kotarou]: "Ah, five minutes left." [Yoshino]: "Geh, saved by the bell...you have some damn good luck..." He returns to the classroom. It's hard to call him lawless when he always goes to class on time. And he did seem to enjoy playing with the cart. Well, now that I've had my fun, I should go to the staff room. My original goal was to deliver this box, not to play with this cart. [Kotarou]: "Parariraparariraaa." *roll* *roll* I encounter a teacher in front of the staff room. [Teacher]: "Hm? What are you doing here, Tennouji-kun?" [Kotarou]: "Delivery!" [Kotarou]: "I stumbled across the transfer student's belongings." [Teacher]: "Huh? You found her things, but not her?" [Kotarou]: "She wandered around town for hours in search of the school but then fell into a tree and dropped this box before an ambulance took her away." [Teacher]: "Sorry, come again?" [Kotarou]: "She wandered around town for hours in search of the school but then fell into a tree and dropped this box before an ambulance took her away." He seems confused by this. But it's all true. [Teacher]: "I know you're not lying, Tennouji-kun." [Teacher]: "But...I'm starting to get worried about what kind of student is transferring here..." He lowers his shoulders sadly. [Kotarou]: "Cheer up. She seems really tough, so I'm sure she'll be fine." [Teacher]: "Really...?" It's a bit odd to have to say this, but she's not a problem student or anything. [Teacher]: "Ah, right...if an ambulance took her away, she must be..." [Teacher]: "Hm?" He looks behind me. [Kotarou]: "What?" I turn around. [Schoolgirl]: "Haa, haa..." The transfer student arrives, out of breath. [Teacher]: "Aaa...there you are, Ohtori-san." [Schoolgirl]: "Yes..." Oh yeah, I hadn't heard her name yet. Ohtori-san. Her uniform makes her stand out, so there are students whispering about her here and there. Everyone really is curious about the transfer student. I'd like to tell them to go back to class, but I'm out here myself. I can't really criticize them for doing the same thing I'm doing. [Ohtori]: "Sorry...so much happened I'm not even sure where to begin..." [Teacher]: "Ah, it's all right, Tennouji-kun already told me about it." [Teacher]: "I'm glad I asked, otherwise I'd be panicking about now." [Ohtori]: "Well, thank you..." [Ohtori]: "Geh." [Kotarou]: "Why is "geh" the first thing you say when you see me, Ohtori-san?" That's kind of a gloomy face. [Kotarou]: "...hmmm." [Kotarou]: "Did I do something to make you dislike me?" [Ohtori]: "That's the first thing you ask!?" [Ohtori]: "Terrible things have been happening ever since I met you!!" [Ohtori]: "I fell three times, I rolled down the hill, and that ambulance kidnapped me!!!" I'm pretty sure I had nothing to do with one of those falls. [Kotarou]: "Come to think of it, what happened after that?" [Ohtori]: "They wouldn't listen to me, so I had to escape by force..." Oooh, that must've been a cool scene. Like something from a movie. Wish I could've seen it. [Ohtori]: "And every one of those unfortunate events..." [Ohtori]: "Was all your fault!!" [Ohtori]: "It's all because I met you!!!" [Kotarou]: "Eeeh? I thought I saved you...please don't attach that kind of karma to me." [Kotarou]: "Besides, it's not my fault the box tore..." [Kotarou]: "And if I hadn't come along you'd be nothing but cherries by now." The secret is announced to the public. [Ohtori]: "Gyaaaaaaaaa! Why do you know about thaaaaat!!?" Oops, I wasn't supposed to mention that. [Kotarou]: "Sorry." [Ohtori]: "Uuu...say that again and I won't let you off so easy..." [Teacher]: "What? What's all this about?" [Kotarou]: "Oh, I helped her when she got stuck in a tree." [Teacher]: "You should thank him for that, Ohtori-san." He speaks the truth. [Teacher]: "Come on, say "thank you" as loud as you can!" [Ohtori]: "Uu..." [Ohtori]: "...thank you." She lowers her head. [Kotarou]: "You're welcome." [Ohtori]: "But for unrelated reasons, I hate you." [Kotarou]: "Eeeh...?" The kind girl became my enemy. Why did it have to come to this? If we'd met normally, I'm sure we could've gotten along fine. [Kotarou]: "Hey..." [Kotarou]: "Could we start over from scratch...?" [Kotarou]: "Like when we first met?" [Ohtori]: "H-huh?" [Ohtori]: "Wh-what?" [Teacher]: "Oh my...were you two a couple? Did something happen between you two?" [Ohtori]: "No! Nothing like that!" [Ohtori]: "Stop confusing people like that!" [Student]: "Eh? ...the transfer student is Tennouji's ex?" [Ohtori]: "Ah-aaah! Look! They're all misunderstanding now!" [Ohtori]: "I-it's not true! Come on, tell them it never happened!" [Teacher]: "I thought Tennouji-kun was closer to Kanbe-san." [Kotarou]: "Nope, Kotori's just a friend. For now." [Ohtori]: "Listen to meeeeeeeee!!!" [Ohtori]: "Haa! Haa...!" [Teacher]: "...you seem to be getting along well." [Kotarou]: "It does kinda feel that way." [Ohtori]: "Huh?" [Kotarou]: "Well, sorry for making fun of you." [Teacher]: "Sorry for playing along." [Ohtori]: "Uwaaaaaaaaaaan!! I hate you aaaaaall!!!" [Kotarou]: "So, what do we do with her stuff?" [Teacher]: "No problem, I'll take care of it."

<METADATA> Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> [Teacher]: "So, Ohtori-san, please go say hello to the principal first. Then...it seems pointless to go to homeroom this late, so you can just go home after that." [Ohtori]: "Uuuuu...o-okay..." [Kotarou]: "I'd better get back to class then." [Teacher]: "Okay then." We disperse immediately. I feel a burning gaze. She's glaring at me. The transfer student already hates me... [Ohtori]: "Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaa it just hit me that "cherries" means you saw them back then didn't youuuuu!!!?" Crap, she remembered something bad. I must make my escape posthaste. [Teacher]: "What's all this about cherries?" [Ohtori]: "Uuuuuum!" This transfer student seems to have a few screws loose. [Teacher]: "...and that's it for today." Homeroom ends. [Kotori]: "Hello." [Kotarou]: "Hey." [Kotarou]: "Did that class make any sense to you?" [Kotori]: "Not really..." [Kotarou]: "We've been covering a lot of material lately." [Kotarou]: "The midterms are gonna be tough." [Kotori]: "I might be in serious trouble." [Kotarou]: "Is your attendance okay?" [Kotori]: "I think I'm still barely okay on that." [Kotarou]: "You aren't part of any clubs after all. It's hard for teachers to recommend you." If Kotori ever had to do an interview, she'd have to say something like... "I was in the going home club as a student, and I learned a lot about the importance of going home." ...because she does absolutely nothing else at school. I also ended up in the going home club because of that. [Kotarou]: "Should I help you study before the test?" [Kotori]: "Would you do that for me?" [Kotarou]: "Well, I'm not keeping up all that well myself..." [Kotori]: "I know." [Kotarou]: "We need a friend who can study." [Kotori]: "Then we'd nickname him "Professor."" [Kotarou]: "It can't be just some honors student. He needs to be fun to hang out with." [Kotori]: "He does?" [Kotarou]: "It hurts being surrounded by more serious students than yourself..." Some trauma from my first year resurfaced. The class was split into groups back then. ...it was horrible. [Kotarou]: "Some people just aren't on the same wavelength, you know?" [Kotori]: "I think I get what you mean." [Kotarou]: "We want someone who's easy to talk to, and not in any groups already." [Kotarou]: "Actually, I know one guy who might fit the bill." [Kotori]: "So do I." We both look at Yoshino. [Kotarou]: "Where would we ever find a Yoshino like that?" [Yoshino]: ".........uu." We were talking loud enough for him to hear it. [Yoshino]: "...someday, I will crush you." He grabs his bag and leaves. That must've really bothered him. [Kotori]: "He's avoiding us." [Kotarou]: "But he's the only loner left in the class." [Kotori]: "Your motives are impure." [Kotori]: "And you never make a serious effort." [Kotarou]: "Neither does he. You've seen the act he puts on." [Kotarou]: "He's tempting me...I just know it." [Kotori]: "This is troubling." [Kotarou]: "Oh, wait, I need to be somewhere." [Kotori]: "Where?" [Kotarou]: "A part-time job interview, I guess." [Kotori]: "You're getting a job?" [Kotarou]: "...it's a bit of a strange job." [Kotori]: "What is it?" [Kotarou]: "Wanna come with me? It shouldn't take long." [Kotori]: "Hmmm..." [Kotori]: "I'll pass for today. I haven't come to school in a while, so I'd like to talk to some other friends." [Kotarou]: "Okay." [Kotarou]: "See you tomorrow." [Kotori]: "That's the plan. Bye." [Kotarou]: (Talk to other friends...hmm.) ...no, I shouldn't pry. Being in a town full of rich people really does feel lacking somehow. Lots of people at school are rich too. My family isn't exactly poor. But I still have my reasons for wanting a job. I would be happy with anything new. Anything that might broaden my horizons. I have a feeling it might help me change... [Kotarou]: (It's really crowded...) There are a lot of people here. Even compared to a few months ago, it's noticeably different. Just walking to the station would be a challenge. If it's like this during the day, it'll be even worse in the evening. [Kotarou]: (...come to think of it, it's already October.) It'll be time for the festival soon. Of course there'd be more people moving around. The entire city gets involved in that festival, so a lot of preparation is required. The bulletin board near the station had lots of recruitment posters for festival-related part-time jobs. "Looking for harvest festival temporary part-timers, 1100 yen per hour～" "Waiters and waitresses needed! Students may apply! 750 yen per hour～" "Part-time barkeeps needed for harvest festival." "Part-time construction job starting on November 1st, 950 yen per hour." "Would you like to work part-time this harvest festival? We need help organizing the outdoor music events～" "Harvest festival temporary event staff. 1200 yen per hour." Come to think of it, most of these festival jobs are to fulfill emergency needs. They all look pretty nice. [Kotarou]: (...that just means it'll be a tough job.) I don't mind if it's tough. I'm willing to do all sorts of manual labor. But I've already scheduled an appointment. [Kotarou]: "It's almost time..." [Editor]: "...that concludes the interview. Should we contact you by phone?" [Kotarou]: "Yes, that's fine." [Editor]: "Okay. Good evening then." [Kotarou]: "Goodbye." The interview went well. I chose a part-time job as a column writer in a local magazine. It was a strange magazine, so all they wanted me to do was write something interesting twice a month. Make fun articles using a plethora of images. I have to find the material on my own. Any interesting event, or just something the writer's interested in. Apparently anything goes. They value the writer's enthusiasm over the material itself. They say if the writer can't get their passion across, nothing else matters. It's kinda like a blog. So it's not much of a stable income source. I get some money each time I submit an article. Personally, I like that kind of relaxed business model. Not only that, the young editor I was talking to is an alumnus of my school. I was nervous at first, but by the end I was getting really into it. I'd like to think I made an impression there.

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "It's still evening...?" There's still some time left before it gets dark. [Kotarou]: (Not that I have anything to do.) Actually, he said in the interview that a digital camera would be really good for this job. I could borrow one from them, but it'd be a pain to go get it every time. If it's not that expensive, I might as well buy one now. [Kotarou]: (Guess I'll get out my savings and go buy a camera.) I walk around aimlessly for a while, but nothing jumps out at me. I have no way of telling which of the cameras on display are any good. [Kotarou]: (...I might have to do some research first.) I should probably go home. But right now I'm in an unfamiliar alley. [Kotarou]: (...this place doesn't feel right.) There's a lot of young ruffians here. Some of them are sitting down against the wall and laughing, and others are practicing their dancing. These people all live in a different world from me. Nothing good will come from talking to them. I'll just walk by them. [Tattooed Man]: "Hey, boy, wait up." [Kotarou]: (That was fast...) This man is so huge I have to look up at him. Maybe I shouldn't have come here in my (rich boy school) uniform. [Kotarou]: "Wh-what is it...?" [Tattooed Man]: "...look." The man has a flame tattoo on his face. [Kotarou]: "...that's an impressive tattoo." [Tattooed Man]: "Not that. Look at this." [Tattooed Man]: "They're all bargains." The man was running a shop. There are all sorts of devices on display. [Tattooed Man]: "Boy, I can tell by your face that you want a digital camera." [Kotarou]: "...you're right." [Tattooed Man]: "You want it for work or a blog...and you want photos better than what your cell phone can take." [Kotarou]: "Yes..." [Tattooed Man]: "How about this one? You can have it for cheap." [Kotarou]: "That looks expensive." [Kotarou]: "What's the price...?" The man smirks. This is the face of a man who kills people on a daily basis. [Tattooed Man]: "It's on special sale right now for only 50,000 yen." [Kotarou]: "Eh...?" [Tattooed Man]: "How about it? You can even use your student loan for it." [Kotarou]: "No, my budget is a little...umm..." [Kotarou]: "Sorry!" I run away. [Tattooed Man]: "H-hey, wait up...!" I almost bought some horrible Chinese knockoff product. The back alleys are a really scary place. After walking for a while, I find another shop. The owner here is smiling gently. He also has lots of cameras on display. I can tell this is the right place. [Kotarou]: "How much for a digital camera?" [Nice-Looking Man]: "A thousand yen." [Kotarou]: "No way! This place is godly!!" [Nice-Looking Man]: "Thank you very much." [Nice-Looking Man]: "You can have three for two thousand." [Kotarou]: "Whoa! That's a huge discount." I was 80% taken in by him. [Contemporary Man]: "Wait a sec." [Nice-Looking Man]: "...what?" A man appeared, wearing contemporary clothing. [Contemporary Man]: "That's a knockoff, you know." He points to the camera. [Kotarou]: "Eh?" [Contemporary Man]: "A low-quality copy made in a foreign country. An illegal one at that." [Contemporary Man]: "Look at the bottom of the box." I look. In very tiny letters, it said this: *This product is a joke designed to resemble a high-quality digital camera* [Kotarou]: "Even the warnings are terrible!" [Contemporary Man]: "Right?" [Kotarou]: "Geh..." I put the camera back. And then the man picked it up. [Contemporary Man]: "It's a well-made fake though." [Contemporary Man]: "There's been a lot of suspicious types around here lately, old man." [Nice-Looking Man]: "Wh-what are you talking about?" [Contemporary Man]: "It's fine. If someone gets deceived this easily, it's their own fault." [Contemporary Man]: "But I happen to know that kid, so I'd like it if you didn't pull one over on him." [Nice-Looking Man]: ".........umm, well..." [Kotarou]: "Umm, thanks." [Contemporary Man]: "It's fine, it's fine." [Contemporary Man]: "I just couldn't stand to watch you get fooled so easily." [Kotarou]: "But you said you knew me." [Contemporary Man]: "Ah, I was making stuff up." [Kotarou]: "Thought so." [Contemporary Man]: "Is that uniform what I think it is?" [Kotarou]: "Yes. I'm Tennouji, a second-year." [Contemporary Man]: "Hmmmm." He looks at me from top to bottom, as if there's something odd about me. [Contemporary Man]: "Tennouji-kun..." [Kotarou]: "...what?" [Contemporary Man]: "Nothing." [Contemporary Man]: "What are you doing here?" [Kotarou]: "Umm, looking for a digital camera." [Contemporary Man]: "Oh, you actually were looking for one?" [Kotarou]: "Yes, for my part-time job." [Contemporary Man]: "Hmmmm, a job..." [Contemporary Man]: "Is it one of the harvest festival jobs?" [Kotarou]: "Yes, one of those." [Contemporary Man]: "Well, I guess you can save up enough for a camera by doing one of those." [Kotarou]: "That's right." [Contemporary Man]: "...I see. So that's what you're like, Tennouji-kun." [Kotarou]: "Yes...what about it?" [Contemporary Man]: "No, no, nothing. I see, I see, okay." [Contemporary Man]: "You're a serious student then." He seems to be figuring something out on his own. [Kotarou]: "?" [Contemporary Man]: "If you're after a camera, that tattooed guy earlier would be a good bet." [Kotarou]: "Eh? Seriously?" [Contemporary Man]: "Seriously. He does that for fun, so I know his stuff is good." [Contemporary Man]: "This is a flea market so he usually doesn't have the latest models, but everything he does have is high quality." [Kotarou]: "...so 50,000 is actually a fair price for one of those things?" [Kotarou]: "Wait, this is a flea market!?" [Contemporary Man]: "Technically, yeah..." [Contemporary Man]: "Though their customers all look like gangsters, so people seem to think it's a slum." [Contemporary Man]: "Well, there have been a lot of suspicious guys here lately, so try not to get tricked too easily." [Contemporary Man]: "Bye." The man walks off. I didn't even ask his name. But he feels familiar somehow. I don't think I've met him before... [Kotarou]: (Have I...seen him somewhere...?) No matter how much I think about it, I can't remember him. [Kotarou]: (Oh well...)

<METADATA> </METADATA> I decide to head home after that...

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> Kazamatsuri is an experimental afforestation city. There are lots of research institutions and companies throughout the city. And a lot's being done to deal with environmental issues. It's a blessed town. Calm, wealthy, and there's greenery everywhere. I'm a little late. I'd better hurry to school. [Kotarou]: "An ordinary asphalt road." [Kotarou]: "There are lots of students and company employees here in the morning. Kazamatsuri couldn't be a more peaceful, relaxing town." [Kotarou]: "Normal Kazamatsuri." [Kotarou]: "My house. I just left it." [Kotarou]: "I'm hooome!" [Kotarou]: "Didn't you just leave five seconds ago!?" [Kotarou]: "Being my own straight man feels so lonely..." [Kotarou]: "Eh? I forgot something? I don't think so..." [Kotarou]: "Why am I wandering around my own house so much?" [Kotarou]: "Where are you trying to go? This is the forest." [Kotarou]: "You want to be even later? ...I've never skipped school entirely." [Kotarou]: "*whistle!* I've gathered a bunch of acorns! Now I can stick toothpicks in them to make tops!" [Kotarou]: "I've reverted to a young child." [Kotarou]: "That's enough childishness. Time to go." [Kotarou]: "Tamura-san's house. Is it really okay to cut through here...?" [Kotarou]: "I'll try to sneak along the edge of the backyard." [Kotarou]: "What...? Do I need to do something at Tamura-san's house...?" [Kotarou]: "If I hang around here any longer I'll be a trespasser." [Kotarou]: "Fine...I'll go talk to him directly." [Kotarou]: "Hey there!" [Kotarou]: "Ah, thanks. I didn't eat much for breakfast." [Kotarou]: "This nukazuke is great!" [Kotarou]: "Eh? Will I take your daughter as my wife? This is happening a bit quickly..." [Kotarou]: "He likes me so much he wants me to marry his daughter." [Kotarou]: "By the way, his daughter is in sixth grade. She's pretty cute." [Kotarou]: "Marriage aside, I'm late." [Kotarou]: "I'd better get going." [Kotarou]: "Am I living in Tamura-san's house now?" [Kotarou]: "Wait, Tamura-san went to get a marriage registration form! How can you set your daughter's fate in stone so quickly!?" [Kotarou]: "Ah, hello, my name is Tamura Kotarou." [Kotarou]: "Crap, even I'm getting into it now...I'm gonna get adopted." [Kotarou]: "I'm too young to marry and switch families...I'd better run." [Kotarou]: "You want me to start a life drama here?" [Kotarou]: "I'm running away, now." [Kotarou]: "Oh, a cat." [Kotarou]: "He's looking at me like he wants to be my familiar." [Kotarou]: "...actually, he just ran away like any other cat." [Kotarou]: "There's a noisy dog here. He's annoying." [Kotarou]: "Let's sneak by quietly." [Kotarou]: "I told you, he won't shut up if he sees me." [Kotarou]: "Ah, crap...he's looking this way." [Kotarou]: "He's barking! Ruuuun!" [Kotarou]: "You want me to fight him!?" [Kotarou]: "Woof! Woof!! Woof!!!" [Kotarou]: "Grrrrrrrr..." [Kotarou]: "We continue our fierce barking competition." [Kotarou]: "Friendship has bloomed between Jackie and I." [Kotarou]: "He's wagging his tail and coming toward me. He gave me his treasured bone. Such a nice guy." [Kotarou]: "Bye, Jackie." [Kotarou]: "I'm gonna swim! Wheee!" [Kotarou]: "So cold!!" [Kotarou]: "I'm gonna swim some more! Whee! Wheee!" [Kotarou]: "This is not the right time to dive into a lake!" [Kotarou]: "How long do you want me to stay here!? I'll die!" [Kotarou]: "People are gathering here. I can see why." [Kotarou]: "After floating here for a while, everything seems meaningless..." [Kotarou]: "This is Old Man Kaminari's house. He used to get mad at everyone." [Kotarou]: "His name is Kaminari Shinji..." [Kotarou]: "Annoyingly, the "Shin" is written with the kanji for "new."" [Kotarou]: "I've outgrown that. I don't want him to get mad at me anymore. Let's go." [Kotarou]: "Ah, he came out..." [Old Man]: "What is it? If you're looking for a shortcut, go right ahead. Hurry along to school now." [Kotarou]: "Ah, thank you." [Kotarou]: "That's right...if you don't do anything bad, he's actually nice. He even lets you take a shortcut through his place." [Kotarou]: "He won't get mad if I do nothing bad." [Kotarou]: "Apparently I really need to hit a home run." [Kotarou]: "I want to make him mad...even though it's Old Man Kaminari..." [Kotarou]: "What could I do..." [Kotarou]: "Sorry." [Old Man]: "What's wrong?" [Kotarou]: "I want to hit a baseball into your house." [Old Man]: "I'm not sure I understand..." [Kotarou]: "Well, I want you to get mad at me." [Old Man]: "Oh, is that all..." [Old Man]: "...okay." [Old Man]: "You're prepared to hit a home run then?" [Kotarou]: "Yes." [Old Man]: "All right." [Old Man]: "Heeeey! Where's the brat who knocked this ball into my house!?" [Kotarou]: "Aaah...! Y-yes!! It was me!!" [Kotarou]: "I'm sorryyyy!!" [Old Man]: "Mmm...kids these days..." [Kotarou]: "I got a long lecture." [Kotarou]: "...at least it felt long, but only one minute has passed..." [Kotarou]: "It was a deep lecture, capable of making one minute feel like thirty." [Old Man]: "Come again sometime." [Kotarou]: "Yes, I'm sorryyyy!!" [Kotarou]: "He's a nice guy." [Kotarou]: "I should've hit a few baseballs toward him when I was a kid..." [Kotarou]: "An empty lot. The neighborhood kids like to play here." [Kotarou]: "Of course no one's here this early, and nothing here stands out." [Kotarou]: "Let's get through it quickly." [Kotarou]: "There's a bat and a baseball. The kids must've left them here." [Kotarou]: "I can hit a home run with this!!!"

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "Okaaaaay!!! Gooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!" [Kotarou]: "Ha..." [Kotarou]: "Should I really do this? ...damaging the old man's carefully crafted bonsai would be..." [Kotarou]: "...no, I should stop." [Kotarou]: "Anyway, I feel like hitting one now." [Kotarou]: "*whack*" [Kotarou]: "Aaaaaah! There it goes!" [Kotarou]: "Yes!!" [Kotarou]: "This house only plants cacti for some reason." [Kotarou]: "I won't say anything about other people's tastes, but..." [Kotarou]: "This is one of the well-maintained houses they use in advertisements." [Kotarou]: "The old ladies around here are a bit hard to talk to..." [Kotarou]: "A feral cat ran by with a fish in its mouth." [Kotarou]: "Why do we call them "feral" anyway?" [Kotarou]: "I saw a barefoot housewife chasing after the feral cat." [Kotarou]: "This is a piece of Japanese culture we should preserve for posterity." [Kotarou]: "An intersection...let's be careful here." [Kotarou]: "If we all cross on a red light, we'll just get run over all at once." [Kotarou]: "Ah, an old lady needs help crossing the street..." [Kotarou]: "It's too dangerous! Excuse me, car, please wait!" [Old Woman]: "Thank you for the help." [Kotarou]: "It was nothing." [Kotarou]: "I feel like I've done a great thing." [Kotarou]: "It feels good when you do good things." [Kotarou]: "Is anyone else in trouble..." [Kotarou]: "Dammit! No one needs any help! Everyone, be more needy!" [Kotarou]: "Ha...that's not the right way to think about this..." [Kotarou]: "I mustn't wish for others' misfortune. But I can cause my own misfortune." [Kotarou]: "*chink* Ah! I dropped a coin!" [Kotarou]: "I dropped this." [Kotarou]: "Thank you, me!" [Kotarou]: "I did something good." [Kotarou]: "Are you stupid, me?" [Kotarou]: "Uheheh, I am stupid." [Kotarou]: "Self-mockery...masochistic humor." [Kotarou]: "It's a factory. I can see men inside working hard to keep the machines running." [Kotarou]: "I shouldn't disturb them. Let's keep going." [Kotarou]: "Actually, why am I taking a detour here anyway?" [Kotarou]: "You wanna go in!? Think about the busy workers!" [Kotarou]: "But I will go in nonetheless." [Kotarou]: "In addition, I will talk to them." [Kotarou]: "Good morning, factory workers!" [Kotarou]: "...the workers are all rushing toward me..." [Kotarou]: "Unsurprisingly, they scolded me." [Kotarou]: "I shouldn't disturb them when they're working...I learned something." [Kotarou]: "But they look cool when they're working like that. Like big, strong men." [Kotarou]: "I hope I look that cool when I work." [Second-Year Boy]: "Hmmm, hmmm." One of our students is thinking hard about something. I kinda like dealing with troubles. I talk to him. [Kotarou]: "Something bothering you?" [Second-Year Boy]: "Ah, yes...my high school life has only just begun, but I'm already in huge trouble." [Kotarou]: "Could you tell me what's wrong?" [Second-Year Boy]: "You'll listen to it? ...such kindness..." [Second-Year Boy]: "Everyone in my class calls each other by nicknames." [Kotarou]: "The girls too?" [Second-Year Boy]: "That's right." [Kotarou]: "That sounds kinda nice." [Second-Year Boy]: "...but I'm the only one without a nickname." [Second-Year Boy]: "Everyone else picked one early in their first-year, and I'm the only one left." [Second-Year Boy]: "This is the sort of thing that never happens if it doesn't get done along with everyone else's." [Kotarou]: "True. Once they get used to using your surname they won't want to switch to a nickname." [Second-Year Boy]: "Exactly. But I want a nickname." [Kotarou]: "Nicknames are usually based on personality, right?" [Second-Year Boy]: "Yeah. But I don't have much of a personality..." [Kotarou]: "That's a problem. You can't make a nickname for someone with no personality..." [Second-Year Boy]: "That's what's bothering me. There must be a nickname for me somewhere..." [Kotarou]: "You sure...?" [Second-Year Boy]: "I'm such a failure. I should've tried harder to make friends in the beginning." [Second-Year Boy]: "And my name is really ordinary, so it won't be long before they forget my surname..." [Second-Year Boy]: "My life has been cursed from the beginning!" For some reason this guy's problem bothers me deeply. I really want to help him. [Kotarou]: "...hey." [Second-Year Boy]: "Just leave me alone..." [Kotarou]: "Giovanni." [Second-Year Boy]: "―!?" He instantly looked up at me. [Kotarou]: "You kept saying "beginning," (yoban) and it was getting a bit annoying." [Kotarou]: "So your nickname is Giovanni." [Second-Year Boy]: "Oh...oooh!" [Giovanni]: "Oooooh!" [Kotarou]: "Go ahead and use it." [Giovanni]: "Thank you so much! That's exactly what I wanted!" [Giovanni]: "Seriously, thank you! I'll treat you to bowling sometime!" [Kotarou]: "Okay, I'll take you up on that. But right now, we need to get to school." [Giovanni]: "Yahoo! I say "beginning" (yoban) too much, so I'm Giovanni! Beginning, Giovanni! Beginning, Giovanni!" He runs merrily toward the school. [Kotarou]: "...it's not that clever." You are now friends with Giovanni! [Kotarou]: "Amigooo!"

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "This is the bus heading for the station. Kazamatsuri has a lot of buses." [Kotarou]: "I wonder if I'll ever leave this town." [Kotarou]: "There are a lot of shops here." [Kotarou]: "Half of them aren't open yet...it's far from complete." [Kotarou]: "That island in the middle of the road used to be someone's home." [Kotarou]: "But this city chased him away..." [Kotarou]: "The modern era is tough for hunter-gatherers..." [Kotarou]: "Lots of office buildings..." [Kotarou]: "I wonder if I'll be a salaryman in the future." [Kotarou]: "Being a civil servant might be nice." [Kotarou]: "Either that or a comedian." [Kotarou]: "That place is huge." [Kotarou]: "Cleaning the windows must be a pain." [Kotarou]: "There's a band performing there." [Kotarou]: "Everyone gets popular doing something like that." [Kotarou]: "I'd like to be popular..." [Kotarou]: "Another band. There are tons of them here." [Kotarou]: "...wait, Yoshino's the vocalist for that one." [Kotarou]: "A perfectly ordinary vending machine." [Kotarou]: "Did anyone forget their change? ...nope." [Kotarou]: "Guess I'll drink something." [Kotarou]: "Drinking non-diet cola tastes strangely good after having diet for a while." [Kotarou]: "I'm gonna drink more...?" [Kotarou]: "This coffee has an interesting, sweet taste to it." [Kotarou]: "Eh? I have to drink even more...?" [Kotarou]: "Real Gold-brand cola is great!" [Kotarou]: "Why are you so fixated on the vending machine...?" [Kotarou]: "The only thing I can do here is drink juice." [Kotarou]: "The sensation of it going down my throat is great." [Kotarou]: "*burp*" [Kotarou]: "Uha...you still want more...?" [Kotarou]: "*glug*..." [Kotarou]: "I can't even enjoy the taste anymore." [Kotarou]: "As you might have noticed, I'm approaching my limit." [Kotarou]: "Pffffffffffff!!" [Kotarou]: "*cough!*...t-take that!!!" [Kotarou]: "Seriously, I can't take any more." [Kotarou]: "There's a dog here." Added a number to your contact list! [Kotarou]: "Amigooo!" [Kotarou]: "I can be friends with this dog." [Kotarou]: "No, I'm not that desperate, really!!!" [Kotarou]: "There's a cat here." Added a number to your contact list! [Kotarou]: "Amigooo!" [Kotarou]: "I can be friends with this cat." [Kotarou]: "No, I'm not that desperate, really!!!" [Kotarou]: "There's a crow here." Added a number to your contact list! [Kotarou]: "Amigooo!" [Kotarou]: "I can be friends with this crow." [Kotarou]: "No, I'm not that desperate, really! I can at least get a human friend!!" [Kotarou]: "...what's this...a boar? Sure looks like it." Added a number to your contact list! [Kotarou]: "Amigooo!" [Kotarou]: "I can be friends with this boar...I assume." [Kotarou]: "No, I'm not that desperate, really! This guy might understand me a little, but I'd much prefer a human!!" [Kotarou]: "It's an orc! A super monster from the fantasy world!" [Kotarou]: "...actually it's just a fat human." Added a number to your contact list! [Kotarou]: "Amigooo!" [Kotarou]: "I can be friends with this orc-like human." [Kotarou]: "He's human...but he left before I could talk to him..." [Kotarou]: "Role-playing the hero by myself is pretty lonely, but my life has only just begun."

<METADATA> Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> October 5th (Tuesday) The alarm clock rings. Half-asleep, I unleash an attack upon the source of the noise, and it stops. I wake up. [Kotarou]: "......uuu." I sleep. [Kotarou]: "And that's why I was almost late today." [Kotori]: "Oooh." It happens sometimes. [Kotori]: "So is that bed hair? I thought you were trying out a new style." [Kotarou]: "Hm...?" She hands me a mirror. [Kotarou]: "Uhe...I didn't have time to fix that..." I'd better go to the bathroom later and straighten it. Suddenly, I notice Yoshino staring at me with his arms folded, leaning back in his chair. [Kotarou]: "What? You don't want to join our fun morning conversation?" [Yoshino]: "Shut up." The usual reaction. I'll have to give up on having an intimate talk with Yoshino for now. [Kotori]: "Yoshino-kun, you kinda feel like a samurai." [Kotarou]: "He does?" Yoshino lowers his eyes and acts uninterested. [Kotori]: "He feels like he'd fight alongside a guy in a red jacket." [Kotarou]: "Aaah, I think I know what you mean. He'd be the one cutting through steel." [Kotarou]: "Your mouth loosened up a bit. Are you happy?" [Yoshino]: "Shut up. Be quiet." The teacher comes in after the bell, but the students keep talking instead of returning to their seats. Everyone's talking about the same thing. The transfer student who was supposed to arrive yesterday. Her chair and desk were procured yesterday, but they're still sitting in the corner without an owner. The teacher could probably tell that's what they were talking about, so he didn't scold anyone. [Kotori]: "I wonder if she'll come today." [Kotarou]: "Maybe the teacher's just putting on a weird show." [Kotori]: "Eeeh? But I still wanna know..." If the teacher's plan is to have the transfer student arrive when everyone's eager to see her, then it's working perfectly on Kotori. [Kotarou]: "Well, I did meet her yesterday." [Kotori]: "Eh? You did?" [Kotarou]: "Well, all I did was bump into her on the hill and guide her to the staff room..." Ah, wait, I didn't do the second part. [Kotarou]: "So I've only seen her in the staff room so far." [Kotori]: "Oooh, so Kotarou-san's the number one transfer student escort." [Kotarou]: "Hahaha." Sorry, but I didn't escort her. If anything, I made her hate me in less than half an hour. [Teacher]: "Okay, everyone, please sit down. Let's get started." The teacher looks around, as if the time is ripe. [Kotori]: "Yeees." Yoshino's lying face-down on his desk. [Kotarou]: "Hey, Yoshi, wanna hear about the transfer student?" [Yoshino]: "Don't talk to me like that. I couldn't care less." [Yoshino]: "Use that nickname in front of me again and you'll be lying on a bed in a hospital." I want to tell him that "lying on a bed" sounds rather erotic, but that'd change the topic too much. [Kotarou]: "You say that, but you still wanna know, don't you? I can tell." [Yoshino]: "You don't know a thing about me." [Kotarou]: "But don't you wanna know just a little?" [Yoshino]: "I said no and I meant it." [Kotarou]: "How did you feel when we called you a samurai?" [Yoshino]: "...I didn't feel anything. Don't compare me to you." Ah, he's really mad. [Kotarou]: "Ah, orrysay, orrysay～" [Yoshino]: "You keep mocking me...everything you do is aggravating..." [Yoshino]: "Why don't I beat the living crap out of you until you become a transfer student too?" [Teacher]: "Yoshino-kun, please try to keep it down. We're starting homeroom." [Yoshino]: "Damn, interrupted again..." He starts taking roll as usual, but the classroom can't quite calm down. Everyone's on the edge of their seats about the transfer student. [Teacher]: "Now, I'll introduce the transfer student. Sorry to make you wait a whole day for this." [Teacher]: "Everyone, let's greet her with a round of applause." "Ooooo..." says the whole class. Even Yoshino's looking at the door now. [Teacher]: "Okay, transfer student, come in!!" The classroom becomes even more excited. The transfer student, Ohtori-san, enters quietly. Aaah, it doesn't feel interesting anymore since I've met her already. I look to one side. Yoshino's face is on his desk again. He must've been satisfied after seeing her face. [Kotarou]: "Look Yoshino, it's Ohtori-san the transfer student." [Yoshino]: "Huh?" [Teacher]: "Tennouji-kuuun, no spoilers." [Kotarou]: "Ah, sorry." Crap, now everyone's annoyed at me for ruining the mood... So, as for Ohtori-san... [Ohtori]: "...Tennouji?" She doesn't say it this time, but she makes the "Geh" face again. And now she's glaring at me. [Teacher]: "Introduce yourself to everyone." [Ohtori]: "I-I'm Ohtori Chihaya, the transfer student...pleased to meet you all..." That felt a little forced. ...and she seems disgusted by me. [Schoolboy]: "Pleased to meet you!" But the boys all seem to think she's just tense, so they aren't bothered by it. Honestly, Ohtori does look cuter than the average girl. People do tend to expect something exceptional from transfer students (even though 99% of them are ordinary). Though the lawless guy over here has no interest in her. [Kotarou]: "Hey, Yoshino. Ohtori-san's pretty cute." [Yoshino]: "Don't care." [Kotarou]: "That was blunt." [Yoshino]: "I have no interest in yelling about it like all the idiots around us, no matter who this transfer student is." [Kotarou]: "You only like ugly women anyway." [Yoshino]: "No I don't!" [Kotarou]: "Eh? So you're gay?" [Yoshino]: "Who are you calling gay!?" People around us began whispering "Eh? Yoshino-kun's gay...?" A certain group of girls started giving us weird looks. ...why both of us? [Kotarou]: "Craaap! If you're gay then I'm the only love interest!" [Yoshino]: "Uu...if you dare start a Yoshino x Tennouji fandom...then...I'll have to kill you..." [Kotarou]: "Yoshino-kun, you seem weirdly familiar with this." [Yoshino]: "Shut up. Stay away from me." *bam* He kicks me.

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "Ow! I'm sorry. I'm sorry." [Teacher]: "Also, there's been some difficulty getting her a new uniform, so she'll keep wearing this one for a while. Please don't pry about it." [Teacher]: "As for your seat...might as well use the one in the back until we have another seat change." [Ohtori]: "Ah, okay." But the seats at the back are... [Kotarou]: "Eh? ...right behind us?" [Yoshino]: "Okay, she's behind you." [Kotarou]: "Eh? What's wrong? Let her sit behind you so you can help her." She hates me after all. [Yoshino]: "...don't you know her already? I'm not looking for any new friends." [Kotarou]: "Hmmm." She glances toward me. Then she looks at the hallway. I guess she wants a seat on that side. [Teacher]: "It's probably easiest to see from the center, so how about behind Tennouji-kun?" [Ohtori]: "Eeeh!?" Ohtori starts shivering. I have no idea what to do. She seems to hate me with a passion, so it wouldn't feel right for her to sit near me. And from my point of view, it isn't exactly pleasant to sit between her bloodlust and the transfer student fever. Maybe I should try to help Ohtori here, for both our sakes... But if I speak up now, I might just make things worse somehow. Let's see what happens naturally. [Ohtori]: "Umm, the truth is, my eyes aren't so good..." Oh, she started resisting. If her eyesight is bad, then she won't be forced to sit in the back. [Teacher]: "But according to the health exam, your vision is 2.0." This teacher prides herself in paying close attention to her students. [Teacher]: "Isn't 2.0 above average?" [Ohtori]: "Ah, no, that's not how it works..." She sighs and starts walking this way. I guess she gave up. She moves her chair and desk directly behind me. Okay, let's see what I can do. I move my seat back little by little. This is my "Huh? Actually there isn't much space behind Tennouji. Let's try somewhere else" plan. If it works, all Ohtori has to do is say "I'd like a seat near the hallway!" [Teacher]: "Huh? ...come to think of it, there doesn't seem to be much space behind Tennouji-kun." It's working, sir. [Teacher]: "Then Yoshino-kun..." Yoshino smoothly moves his desk back a little, with his face still lying flat on his desk. [Teacher]: "Huh...?" [Teacher]: "Oh well." It's working again, sir. [Teacher]: "You can sit next to Tennouji-kun. You seem to know each other already, so he can help you out." [Kotarou & Ohtori]: "Stooooop!!!" Dammit, she's dead set on putting her near me!! [Teacher]: "Wh-what? Why are you two suddenly in sync...?" [Kotarou]: "Actually, there is space behind me..." I move my seat back. She sighs and starts walking this way. I guess she gave up. She moves her chair and desk directly behind me. [Teacher]: "Yoshino-kun, please move your desk back too." Well, this sort of plan usually doesn't work out. I'm glad the teacher was willing to play along with it though. [Teacher]: "So, here's the contact information..." The teacher starts writing something about a meeting in the corner of the blackboard. I can hear her put down the chair and desk behind me. ...I'll try saying something casually to her. Maybe she'll be easier on me now. I could try giving her a nickname right away, like in one of those old crime dramas. Ummm, let's see... [Kotarou]: "Hey, cherry..." Gataaa!!! She picked up the desk with one hand!! [Kotarou]: "Ah, well, you don't need to go quite that far..." She puts it back. [Ohtori]: "...pleased to meet you. Try not to talk to me." [Kotarou]: "...pleased to meet you too." Yoshino's a bit scared too. It's hard to believe, but this transfer student is a high-level power fighter. When homeroom ends, the students immediately surround Ohtori. [Boy]: "Hey, where are you from?" [Boy]: "What are your hobbies? Will you join a club?" [Boy]: "Do you have a boyfriend? If not, I nominate myself!" Most of the typical transfer student questions get thrown out. [Kotarou]: (...I doubt she'll get along with that last guy.) It seems only Yoshino and I saw her super strength a moment ago. [Kotarou]: "...this is pretty tiring, Yoshino-kun." [Yoshino]: "...hmph." Unable to leave his seat, Yoshino turns his back on the crowds. I'm completely engulfed, but fortunately for him there's an empty space around his desk. I'm in an extremely odd position here. I can't exactly join in the transfer student fever... [Kotarou]: "I guess I'll go to the bathroom for now." [Kotarou]: "Wanna come with me?" [Yoshino]: "Disgusting...just go on your own." Well, that's a normal reaction. [Yoshino]: "Screw you...screw this transfer student..." I hear Yoshino muttering behind me. [Yoshino]: "Why is everyone around me so irritating..." Is he trying to make me hear him on purpose? ...well, I'll just ignore it for now. I didn't hear a thing. Just as I escape the crowds, the door opens. [Teacher]: "Oh, perfect timing, Tennouji-kun." [Kotarou]: "What is it?" [Teacher]: "Ohtori-san's textbooks have arrived in the staff room. Could you escort her there, and show her around the school while you're at it?" [Kotarou]: "Eeeh? Me?" [Kotarou]: "Wait, why didn't you just bring the books here...?" [Teacher]: "Well, I forgot～♪" Saying it with playful eyes doesn't help... [Teacher]: "I'm counting on you. Bye now, I've got another class to teach～♪" Are you joking? [Kotarou]: "No, can't you get some..." ...she's already gone. [Kotarou]: "Eeeh...?" I guess I was just the first guy she bumped into. I should ask someone else to do it. Not Yoshino. He's dead set on ignoring her. Which means... There is only one choice. Having friends really is important... Well, it's too late to regret it now. And then I realize Kotori is not here. Where on earth could she be...? Kotori does do a lot of stuff by herself. It's probably futile to ask where she went. Which means... [Ohtori]: "Why you of all people?" [Kotarou]: "My thoughts exactly...haha." This is perilous. I can feel a constant pressure coming from Ohtori behind me. Well, I still have to show her around... [Kotarou]: "Ohtori-san, this is 2-B's classroom."

<METADATA> Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Ohtori]: "I can read the sign." [Kotarou]: "Good point." The conversation ends. We proceed in silence. Our footsteps sound really loud in the hallway. ...we really shouldn't be fighting this much so soon after our first meeting. Maybe I should apologize. ...no, I'm pretty sure I haven't done anything wrong. So what is it then? Bad chemistry? I probably did make fun of her a bit more than I should've. Okay. [Kotarou]: "Hey, Ohtori." [Kotarou]: "I actually feel really bad about what happened..." [Kotarou]: "And my attitude hasn't been great either. I'll try to fix it, so..." I turn around. [Kotarou]: "Sorry!" I lower my head. [Kotarou]: "She's gone!!" Where'd Ohtori go!? [Kotarou]: "Heeey, Ohtoriii!" I go back to the previous corner, and see her running down a different corridor. [Ohtori]: "Ah! Wh-where did you go!?" [Kotarou]: "I wanted to ask you that..." [Kotarou]: "How do you get lost when following behind me?" [Ohtori]: "You're the one who disappeared when I took my eyes off you for two seconds!" [Ohtori]: "Some random stranger even asked me what I was looking at!" [Kotarou]: "Ouch..." Apparently a similar thing happened behind me. [Ohtori]: "Uuu...I got humiliated again..." [Kotarou]: "Well, I'm not doing this on purpose." She's glaring at me so hard...apologizing right now isn't a good idea. [Kotarou]: "...let's go." [Ohtori]: "Ah, wait up." [Kotarou]: "Hm?" [Ohtori]: "What's that building over there?" She points out the window. [Kotarou]: "Hm? Where?" I look out at the courtyard and the gym. [Kotarou]: "Yeah, that's the gym." [Ohtori]: "The gym...aaah, I see." [Kotarou]: "It does have kind of a weird shape. But the inside's pretty normal." [Ohtori]: "I see." Wait, suddenly things are going a lot better. [Ohtori]: "Okay, let's continue the tour." [Kotarou]: "Ah, sure." So her curiosity just outweighed her hatred of me... I feel like I've completely missed the right time for something. We approach the stairs. [Kotarou]: "Watch your feet...huh?" Ohtori was gazing out the window. [Kotarou]: "You're so easily distracted..." This is probably how we got separated before. [Kotarou]: "What is it this time, transfer student?" [Ohtori]: "Ah, nothing." [Ohtori]: "I just noticed you can see the whole town from here." [Kotarou]: "Hm? Yeah, I guess." I open the window. Ohtori leans out a little. [Ohtori]: "...waa." She gasps as the wind blows in, making her hair float up. [Ohtori]: "This town really is covered in greenery." [Kotarou]: "Yeah, Kazamatsuri's all about afforestation." [Ohtori]: "I'd heard about it, but still..." I look out the window too. I've lived in this town my whole life, so it's pretty ordinary to me. ...it must look invigorating for someone like Ohtori. [Kotarou]: "The forest just feels like a part of the town." [Kotarou]: "Especially down there, at the bottom of the hill. That place is completely covered in trees." [Ohtori]: "Ah, yes." [Kotarou]: "When I was a kid, there was a concrete building there." [Kotarou]: "Then it burned down or something." [Kotarou]: "They left the place alone for a while, but after a year they started planting stuff." [Kotarou]: "...and now that whole area is overgrown." The land around here is probably ideal for growing plants. Every time they try planting something, it thrives and flourishes. [Ohtori]: "Wow...the whole city is like that?" [Kotarou]: "I think the soil here is just good for growing stuff." [Ohtori]: "What about that area? Beyond the city..." [Kotarou]: "Ah, that's a rural area. Our food is all made by the farmers out there." [Ohtori]: "Wow...it's like a green sea." That was a little poetic. [Kotarou]: "I've actually never seen the ocean." [Ohtori]: "Eh? You haven't?" [Kotarou]: "I've been in this town my whole life. Is it rare to see a landscape like this?" [Ohtori]: "I don't know if it's rare, but I like it." [Kotarou]: "Hmmmm." [Ohtori]: "...you aren't a very emotional guy, are you?" [Kotarou]: "I'm just used to this." Unfortunately, I'll always want to leave this town and be a city boy somewhere else (and yes, I'm proud of it). And lots of people feel like that. People always want things they don't have. ...though I do have some attachment to my childhood memories here. [Ohtori]: "...I'd like to live in a modern place like this. There are loads of places to take walks." [Kotarou]: "You seem to like this town a lot." [Ohtori]: "Do you not like it?" [Kotarou]: "...I'm not sure." [Ohtori]: "I still can't understand you at all." [Kotarou]: "Eeeh?" [Ohtori]: "Anyway, let's go." [Kotarou]: "Fine, fine..." I start walking again. I might never be able to understand how someone from the outside world sees things here. This town is probably special. But it's all normal to me. That fundamental difference changes everything. There's no way for me to put myself in her shoes. ...Ohtori and I couldn't be a worse match. When I start living in another town, what will I think of that place? What if it's a seaside town? What if it's in the middle of a concrete jungle? ...what if I don't know a single person there? [Ohtori]: "Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!" *bam* *roll* *thud* *thud!* Is there really a need for me to reconcile with a transfer student who just tripped on a can and fell down the stairs? [Ohtori]: "O-owwwww..." [Kotarou]: "Hey, you okay?" [Ohtori]: "I-I'm fine～" She gets up. [Kotarou]: "You're not hurt at all?" That was a pretty impressive tumble. [Ohtori]: "I might've left a mark on my butt. It hurts when I touch it..." [Kotarou]: "That sounds bad. Let me see it." [Ohtori]: "Eeeh? It's right around..." She starts pulling her skirt up, then freezes. [Ohtori]: "Why would I show youuu!?" She leaps up to her feet and stomps on the ground. [Kotarou]: "Good question." She seems fine. She really is tough. [Ohtori]: "Anyway! I'm just fine, so let's get going already!!" [Kotarou]: "Okay...though you're the one who wanted to stop."

<METADATA> Name: Akira Inoue | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi </METADATA> [Ohtori]: "Uu..." We're late enough as it is. This should be a quick tour. I grab Ohtori's hand. [Ohtori]: "Wha―!?" She pulls her hand back. [Kotarou]: "It's safer if I hold onto you." [Ohtori]: "Wh-wh-wha...?" [Ohtori]: "Wh-what makes you say that!?" [Kotarou]: "1. You get lost by walking in a straight line. 2. You fall all the way down the stairs for no apparent reason. 3. You've done similar things before." [Kotarou]: "Seems like plenty of justification to me." [Kotarou]: "Besides, we haven't seen anyone this whole time, so there's nothing to be embarrassed about." [Ohtori]: "Uu..." [Ohtori]: "Th-then you can hold my wrist..." [Kotarou]: "Okay." I pull Ohtori's wrist and start walking. ...now I kinda feel like a babysitter. We get her stuff from the staff room and quickly return to class. Most of it was textbooks. [Kotarou]: "Okay, let's go." I hold out my hand toward Ohtori. [Ohtori]: "Eh? Ah, okay." She hands me her stuff. [Kotarou]: "Umm..." [Kotarou]: "Well, at least I can carry this." [Ohtori]: "??" [Ohtori]: "Ha!" [Kotarou]: "Now, let's go back. I'll hold your hand again." [Ohtori]: "Uu..." [Kotarou]: "I know you don't like it, but it's your fault for getting into trouble so easily." I can't let her get seriously injured after all. We walk back the way we came. [Ohtori]: "Ah!" [Kotarou]: "Whoa." ...she stumbles on the stairs again. [Kotarou]: "You trip a lot." [Ohtori]: "I-It's hard to walk with you holding my hand!" [Kotarou]: "Well, this does prevent you from getting hurt." [Ohtori]: "Uu...uuu..." And thus, we reach the classroom. [Kotarou]: "Here we are." [Ohtori]: "Th-thank you..." [Kotarou]: "No problem. I can show you around whenever, just ask." [Ohtori]: "A-again!?" And that's how I escorted her safely back to the classroom. ...though I'm not sure if I managed to bridge the gap between me and the transfer student. During break time, as I walk through the halls... [Schoolgirl]: "Are you Tennouji-kun?" [Kotarou]: "That's me." A girl I don't know talks to me. [Schoolgirl]: "I'm Inoue from the newspaper club. Pleased to meet you." She makes a quick, polite bow. [Kotarou]: "Ah, thanks..." I bow too. [Kotarou]: "I didn't know we had a newspaper club." [Inoue]: "Well we do." [Kotarou]: "I've never seen a newspaper here..." [Inoue]: "It's on the web." It's possible to do club activities through the school website. We vote for student officials online. We can even write blogs or hold meetings online. But they're supposed to be for educational purposes, so we can't make blogs just about ourselves or anything. [Kotarou]: "Hmmmm." [Kotarou]: "So, what does the newspaper club want with me? Or are you confessing your love?" Inoue looks at me with cold eyes. [Kotarou]: "You want to know more about me? Ask away." [Kotarou]: "I'm single by the way, so feel free to confess." [Inoue]: "Have you ever not been single?" [Kotarou]: "Actually, no." [Kotarou]: "Haha!" [Kotarou]: "If that makes you pity me, then pretend this is just the trial version and try going out with me." Inoue writes something in her notebook. [Kotarou]: "What are you writing?" [Inoue]: "...has never had a girlfriend in his life." [Kotarou]: "Hey." [Inoue]: "By the way, I wanted to ask you something." [Kotarou]: "...I won't tell you anything personal." [Kotarou]: "Also I was joking earlier. I have a girlfriend." [Inoue]: "Kanbe-san, right?" Does everyone really think that? ...it kinda hurts. [Kotarou]: "...so what was your question?" [Inoue]: "Tennouji-kun, is it true you were accepted into this school illegally?" [Kotarou]: "You're pretty blunt." [Kotarou]: "In fact that's close to being rude." [Inoue]: "So, were you?" [Kotarou]: "I've never heard a rumor that stupid before..." [Kotarou]: "Is there even such a thing as illegal admission to high school?" Inoue writes something down, making it as obvious as possible. [Inoue]: "...in obstinate denial." [Kotarou]: "Wait a minute." [Kotarou]: "Why are you trying to make me sound bad?" [Inoue]: "I'm a journalist, so I have to be suspicious of you no matter how implausible the rumor." [Kotarou]: "That's just mean." [Kotarou]: "I got in by having decent grades. Go check your facts." [Inoue]: "Hmmm, so the cover-up is thorough." [Kotarou]: "Th-that's just wrong..." [Inoue]: "This is the spirit of mass media!" [Kotarou]: "That's rather pitiful." [Kotarou]: "...must be a pretty ridiculous newspaper." [Inoue]: "Here's my card." She hands me a light green, plastic business card. Inoue's name is on it. It even has a QR code on it, so I can get straight to their website if I scan this. [Kotarou]: "A school newspaper can afford this sort of thing?" [Inoue]: "It's handy when we're trying to get information from external sources. Try it." She sounds confident. [Inoue]: "Our job is to pry as deeply as possible." [Kotarou]: "I can't respect you for prying deeply into a perfectly innocent person's history." [Inoue]: "Your grades were pretty bad until last year." [Inoue]: "Anyone would wonder how you got in here." [Kotarou]: "The classes suddenly got harder and I couldn't keep up." [Kotarou]: "I don't remember having any trouble when taking the entrance exam." [Inoue]: "That's something else I can look up. I'll make you confess soon enough." [Kotarou]: "I-I'm being investigated...!" I start shivering. I take out my cell phone. I put her business card under my phone's scanner. The scanner contains a powerful all-purpose sensor. It finishes the scan in under a second. This way I can access their site without typing a URL. [Kotarou]: "Let's see what you've got..." It looks like a proper website. It's well-designed and easy to search. It does a good job of getting the feel of the school across, and there are plenty of videos and pictures.

<METADATA> Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Akira Inoue | Gender: Female </METADATA> This would be a very useful page for anyone considering going to this high school. [Kotarou]: (This is a good site.) [Kotarou]: (I'd better use some of this stuff for my part-time job...) [Kotarou]: "...anyway, so you're going to investigate my spotless history no matter what I say, right?" [Inoue]: "That I will." [Inoue]: "I'll get the truth out of you soon enough." You met Inoue! [Kotarou]: (Still...) [Kotarou]: (People take their clubs pretty seriously...) I'm a little jealous, actually. [Kotarou]: "Clubs...work...a part-time job writing articles...the newspaper club?" Something connects. As if to prevent me from finishing that thought, a piece of paper falls from the business card. [Kotarou]: (Hm? A receipt?) "Inoue's Special Memo (If anyone sees this, the government will try to kill them!)" [Kotarou]: (Crap...she's insane.) She's completely lost it. She's beyond all help. This is embarrassing the earth in front of the entire universe. It's best I don't get involved. But I can't hold back my curiosity. List of suspicious people: Third-year "Witch" Senri Akane President of the Occult Research Club. Has tremendous authority, far beyond that of a normal student. Extremely dangerous to approach (Need a careful plan!) Second-Year "Gray Boy" Tennouji Kotarou Many suspicious details in his history. No one seems to be backing him. Direct investigation may be effective. Second-Year "Messiah" Tanuma Imako Might be the messiah. Is there a gag law in effect? Need to question his doctors. First-Year "Scissor Girl" Shinsaibashi Hitomi Might have been held back a year. Has high athletic ability but refuses to join any sports teams. →Transferred on September 1st (No explanation given) [Kotarou]: (Why is my name here...?) This is an eccentric list. Several people are on it. It's overwhelming. But this is the reason Inoue contacted me. I guess "illegal acceptance" is what she got out of my "suspicious history." [Kotarou]: (It's just a rumor...) I shove the list into my pocket. It'd be bad if she finds out I picked it up. I'll get rid of it later. [Kotarou]: "No, wait..." I open it up again. As I feared, there are comments next to some of these entries. I didn't notice it before, but... Inoue's crossed the line. [Kotarou]: "...this is bad." There aren't any special comments next to my entry, so she probably hasn't found out yet. But I can't risk her sniffing around. [Kotarou]: (...gotta be careful.) I warn myself. [Kotori]: "What's that?" [Kotarou]: "Wawa!" Kotori peeks over my shoulder as I study Inoue's memo. [Kotori]: "What does "Gray Boy" mean?" [Kotarou]: "It's my street name..." [Kotori]: "Street name?" [Kotarou]: "Think of it like a nickname." [Kotarou]: "They come up a lot in games, you know? Kojirou of the Flames, or Leonheart the Supersonic." [Kotori]: "Hmmmm." [Kotori]: "Why's your street name "gray," Kotarou-kun?" [Kotarou]: "I dunno..." [Kotori]: "I don't get it." [Kotarou]: "It's just stupid. There's no reason for it." [Kotori]: "But I know the witch on top." [Kotarou]: "The witch? You mean Senri Akane?" Third-year "Witch" Senri Akane President of the Occult Research Club. Has tremendous authority, far beyond that of a normal student. [Kotori]: "Yeah." [Kotori]: "She's actually infamous." [Kotarou]: "I had no idea." [Kotarou]: "What's the Occult Research Club?" [Kotori]: "I'm not sure. I only know it exists." [Kotori]: "I guess it's a club that doesn't do much. They never recruit new members or anything." [Kotarou]: "So some of this information is actually true..." [Kotarou]: (...does that mean Inoue might already know my secret?) I'm worried now. I'd finally started to forget about it. It took a lot of work to get this far. If people found out about it, and started a commotion... [Kotarou]: "Mi dios..." [Kotori]: "Mediate...?" [Kotarou]: "Kotori, didn't you used to say "Don't leave my beehive" when you meant "Don't leave me behind?"" [Kotori]: "...did I say that...?" Her face goes red. [Kotarou]: "You did. You did." [Kotarou]: "It was cute." [Kotori]: "Stop it..." [Kotori]: "Uuu...I was so dumb back then..." [Kotori]: "So dumb!" [Kotarou]: "Hoho." I satisfy myself with Kotori's shame. [Kotarou]: "So what's this Senri person like?" [Kotori]: "She's famous, but she doesn't make herself obvious." [Kotori]: "People call her the don of the underworld, or the witch of the school." [Kotarou]: "Is "witch" meant as an insult?" [Kotori]: "They're afraid of her." [Kotarou]: "Doesn't that mean they just find her creepy?" There's a big difference in nuance. [Kotori]: "No. They really do fear her." [Kotori]: "They're terrified of her." [Kotarou]: "Because she has so much authority?" [Kotori]: "If you disobey her..." [Kotarou]: "...then?" [Kotori]: "A fearsome magical power will..." I gulp. [Kotarou]: "Th-the power will...?" [Kotori]: "Transform your pocket change into pigeons! Scaaary～" [Kotarou]: "That's just a magic trick!" [Kotarou]: "And they're just giving her money!!" [Kotori]: "Or perhaps, she uses her supernatural powers to instill fear in their hearts..." [Kotarou]: "Now she's supernatural?" [Kotori]: "She'll make a balloon that won't pop no matter how far you poke a needle into it. What do you do!?" [Kotarou]: "That just means she put a piece of tape on it!" [Kotarou]: "Then she pokes it where she put the tape! That keeps it from breaking!" [Kotori]: "And last but not least, she chops a banana into pieces without removing the skin. It looks like an explosion." [Kotarou]: "Wires! That's all wires!" [Kotarou]: "She cuts the insides with wires! I know you can do that!!" [Kotarou]: "Don't underestimate the supernatural!" [Kotori]: "...so yeah, she's like that." [Kotori]: "She can wield magic, supernatural powers, curses, spirits, all sorts of things."

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "That's a lot of inconsistency..." [Kotori]: "That's the occult for you." [Kotarou]: "There's no way any of that's real." [Kotori]: "But everyone is afraid of her." [Kotarou]: "That annoys me somehow..." [Kotori]: "Ah, but..." [Kotori]: "She never comes to class." [Kotarou]: "She just doesn't want to go because everyone will treat her like a creep." [Kotori]: "No, she does show up once in a while." [Kotarou]: "Wouldn't she be kicked out for bad attendance?" [Kotori]: "You would think, but no. No matter how much she cuts, she never gets held back or expelled. Why is that?" [Kotori]: "She almost never went to class, but she still made it to third year." [Kotarou]: "...I see." That explains the rumor that she has tremendous authority. A lightbulb appears over my head. [Kotarou]: "Kotori, you don't think she really is a witch, do you?" [Kotori]: "...not really." [Kotarou]: "Hey, you wanna go find out?" [Kotori]: "Eh? How?" [Kotarou]: "Let's go investigate." [Kotarou]: "Like a journalist." [Kotori]: "It's strange for you to suggest something like that, Kotarou-kun." [Kotori]: "...do you like her?" [Kotarou]: "How would I fall for someone I've never met?" [Kotarou]: "I haven't even seen her face." [Kotori]: "Do you wanna go out with her?" [Kotarou]: "No!" [Kotarou]: "I just want to know who she is, since she's allegedly making a living out of some superpowers." [Kotori]: "So this is what you're saying!" [Kotori]: ""Akane, I'm right beside you, and I will learn who you are, even if I spend the rest of my life doing it!"" She says in a husky voice. [Kotarou]: "I'm not proposing to her!" [Kotori]: "Lovey-dovey～" [Kotarou]: "You be quiet." [Kotarou]: "Dammit...stop mocking me." [Kotori]: "Sure." [Kotarou]: "Huh?" [Kotori]: "Let's try investigating." [Kotarou]: "...you'll help?" [Kotori]: "Yeah, sure." [Kotori]: "If you want to do it, Kotarou-kun, then we should." [Kotori]: "And we might meet a nice person at the end of it." [Kotarou]: ".........well, that's not really..." For just a moment, a memory buried deep in the back of my mind comes back to me. [Kotori]: "You've been more energetic lately, Kotarou-kun." [Kotarou]: "...I guess." [Kotori]: "I'll help out." [Kotarou]: "...thanks." I haven't sorted out my feelings at all. But for now, I just have to believe that time will fix it eventually. And then, we eat lunch together. Kotori brought a bentou. I have a yakisoba. As we eat, we talk about how to look for Senri Akane. [Kotori]: "We really need more information." [Kotarou]: "She's a third-year after all...we'd never come into contact with her." Neither Kotori nor I know any third-years. [Kotori]: "Should we ask around?" [Kotarou]: "When you think about it, it takes a lot of courage to do that." Going to the third-year's floor and asking about someone we know nothing about. We'll just have to start talking to random people like in an RPG. This is gonna take a lot of nerve. [Kotarou]: "I wonder if Senri's actually a bully victim." [Kotori]: "It doesn't feel like that to me." [Kotori]: "But she might be moody or something..." [Kotarou]: "Then I'll just have to use the conversationalist powers I've been practicing on Yoshino..." [Kotori]: "You're gonna hit on her. I know you will." [Kotori]: "Go Kotarou-kun!" [Kotarou]: "...I have no idea what you mean." [Kotarou]: "Anyway, I'm not confident about that." [Kotarou]: "Remember how Yoshino was acting earlier?" [Kotori]: "Just give it a shot. You'll kill some time either way." [Kotarou]: "...I guess." [Kotori]: "Gimme that yakisoba." She brings her own bentou to school, but she still feels the need to steal pieces of my bread. And she takes all of it. [Kotarou]: "Don't take the yakisoba out of yakisoba bread. Then it's just bread." [Kotori]: "...it's all dry." [Kotarou]: "Because it's meant to go inside bread..." [Kotori]: "Yuck." [Kotarou]: "You..." [Kotarou]: "I never wanted you to eat that yakisoba." [Kotarou]: "Gimme that tamagoyaki in exchange." [Kotori]: "No. That's the best part." [Kotarou]: "Gimme something then..." [Kotori]: "...you can have my kinpira." [Kotarou]: "Just kinpira...?" That's barely appealing at all. [Kotori]: "It looks kinda similar. Be happy." [Kotarou]: "That's not enough to change my mind." She dumps kinpira onto my bread where the yakisoba used to be. I try a bite. [Kotarou]: "This is spicy...should it be this spicy?" [Kotori]: "My family likes lots of red pepper." [Kotarou]: "This is actually good. It might go well with rice." [Kotori]: "So we got lucky?" [Kotarou]: "...it doesn't go well with bread." After eating... [Kotori]: "Should we go now?" [Kotarou]: "Probably..." [Kotarou]: "No, just two of us is a bit lonely." [Kotori]: "And people might think we're a couple." [Kotarou]: "Hmmmm." [Kotarou]: "That might be nice, actually." People might start assuming it's true... [Kotori]: "Don't get any weird ideas." [Kotarou]: "...all right." She's no fun. [Kotarou]: "Then we'd better hire some mercs." [Kotori]: "Mercs?" [Kotori]: "Know anyone we could use?" [Kotarou]: "I might." Yoshino is sitting in his seat. I approach his desk. [Kotarou]: "Yoshino, let's go on an adventure." [Yoshino]: "...no." [Kotarou]: "We need more people." [Kotarou]: "Help us out." [Yoshino]: "...stop bugging me." [Kotarou]: "Join a party with me and Kotori!" [Yoshino]: "...I'll kill you." I return to Kotori. [Kotarou]: "Yoshino will help us in spirit." [Kotori]: "What does that mean?"

<METADATA> Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "Deep in his heart, he is our friend." [Kotori]: "You two sounded really friendly just now." [Kotarou]: "In video game terms, it's like Yoshino's health bar is displayed, but he's stunned and can't really participate in the battle." [Kotori]: "...he's glaring at you." [Kotarou]: "Don't make eye contact. You'll get teamkilled." [Kotori]: "...so he's not on our side?" We decided to have the adventure without him. This should be fun, so let's invite someone to join in and deepen our friendship with them. But who... I open up my cell phone's contacts list. I can count the number of entries on two hands. This is a microcosm of my life. Exchanging contact information with random people always felt too casual, and I never saw the point in having friends that wouldn't hang out with you consistently. But by doing that, I also cut off any chances to make real friends. I need to live with a purpose, instead of just drifting along. And I need to gain things in life. Didn't I resolve to do that? Human relationships are important. I need to meet a lot of people, talk to them, learn things, smile...and... [Kotarou]: "I'll bring some helpers. Wait here." [Kotori]: "Okay." I talk to a classmate. He has nothing else to do with his lunch break, so he joins in. He invites his friends too. [Suzuki]: "Tennouji-kun! I'm back!" [Suzuki]: "I brought some first-years who also have nothing to do. Come on, say hi to Tennouji-kun." [First-Year Suzuki A]: "I'm Suzuki. Pleased to meet you." [First-Year Suzuki B]: "I'm Suzuki. We're not twins or anything, we just have the same surname. Also pleased to meet you." [Female Suzuki]: "I'm also Suzuki. Pleased to meet you, Tennouji-senpai." Task Force SUZUKI has assembled. [Kotarou]: "H-how is this possible...I want...I need an explanation..." [Suzuki]: "What? It's just a coincidence." [Kotarou]: "This goes beyond coincidence..." [Suzuki]: "It's been forever since we hung out, Tennouji-kun. This should be a fun adventure!" I deepened my friendship with Suzuki! I became friends with First-Year Suzuki A! I became friends with First-Year Suzuki B! I became friends with Female Suzuki! Added 4 numbers to your contact list! [Kotarou]: "Amigooo!" We prepare for our adventure. [Kotarou]: "Okay, here's the plan for today's operation." [Kotarou]: "Somewhere in this school, there's a witch...apparently." [Kotarou]: "We're trying to find her." [Kotori]: "What do we do when we find her? Talk to her?" [Kotarou]: "...I figured she'd drop an item for us." [Kotori]: "What item...?" [Kotarou]: "What Higo?" [Kotori]: "Where's Higo?" [Kotarou]: "What Kumamoto?" [Kotori]: "Where's Kumamoto?" [Kotarou]: "What Senba?" [Kotori]: "Mt. Senba supposedly has tanuki..." [Kotori]: "No wait, I asked you what you meant by "item."" [Kotarou]: "You played along though." [Kotori]: "I don't care about tanuki." [Suzuki]: "For a second I had no idea what you two were talking about." [Kotarou]: "Sorry, it's an inside joke." [Kotarou]: "Anyway, I was imagining some kind of exorcising tools." [Kotori]: "Seems like a witch would carry that stuff." [Kotori]: "But why exorcising?" Her casual question reminds me. Of that terrifying night... ...my wrist feels cold again. Even if it was just a dream...something bad is happening to me. I just know it. [Kotarou]: "...I just thought it'd be nice to have some." [Kotori]: "?" [Kotarou]: "Any other questions?" [Kotori]: "Me, me!" [Kotarou]: "Kanbe-san, go ahead." [Kotori]: "We have no idea where she is, so what do we do?" [Kotarou]: "We know she's a third-year, so let's start by going to the third-year floor." [Kotori]: "So the game's afoot..." [First-Year Suzuki A]: "Me!" [Kotarou]: "Yes, Suzuki." [First-Year Suzuki A]: "Should we split up?" [Kotarou]: "We'll all have to talk to third-years we don't know. Can you do that on your own?" Suzuki makes a troubled face. [First-Year Suzuki B]: "Umm, can I say something?" [Kotarou]: "Go ahead, Suzuki." [First-Year Suzuki B]: "We know a couple of third-years, so we might be able to learn something from them!" [Kotarou]: "Nice one, Suzuki. Let's go with that." [Kotarou]: "Everyone, go talk to whichever third-years you know." [Suzuki]: "Umm, Tennouji-kun?" [Kotarou]: "Go ahead, Suzuki." [Suzuki]: "Since I'm a second-year, the third-years might take me more seriously." [Suzuki]: "So I'll try asking my third-year friend, Suzuki-senpai, since I know he's friends with a lot of people." [Kotarou]: "...are you guys all in the Suzuki Club or something?" [Suzuki]: "Of course not! Tennouji-kun, your jokes are too good! That was great!" [Kotarou]: "Suzuki." [Suzuki]: "Tennouji-kun." *grasp!* We shake hands firmly. [Kotori]: "...oooh, you're getting along." [Kotarou]: "This is pretty easy when I actually try." [Kotarou]: "But I still don't have a circle of friends like everyone else." [Kotarou]: "...I guess I'm not popular." [Female Suzuki]: "No, Tennouji-senpai, you're actually famous among the first-year girls." [Kotarou]: "Seriously? Wh-what do they say about me?" My heart pounds with anticipation (mostly for romantic information) as I ask. [Kotarou]: "What do they say!?" [Female Suzuki]: "...they all think you were accepted here illegally." [Kotarou]: "Today's mission objective is to determine the source of this malicious gossip." [Kotori]: "No changing the objective." [Kotarou]: "We'll probably end up in a boss battle so everyone be ready!" [Kotori]: "He's lost it." [Kotarou]: "We have not a moment to spare. To arms!" We head to the floor where the third-year classrooms are. [Kotori]: "This is kinda nervewracking." [Kotarou]: "Well, we do have to ask our senpai a bunch of questions." [Kotarou]: "This isn't like talking to NPCs in a village."

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> [Kotori]: "If you were in a club you might know someone here." [Kotarou]: "Don't make it my fault..." [Suzuki]: "Tennouji-kun, we're going to leave the party for a minute." [Kotarou]: "Okay, let's meet up here five minutes before lunch break ends." [Kotarou]: "Good luck, Suzukis." The Suzukis have left your party. [Kotarou]: "Okay, let's go." [Kotarou]: "Oh, he looks bored. Let's try talking to him." [Kotori]: "O-okay." [Kotarou]: "Excuse me, could you spare a moment?" [Third-Year Boy]: "This is a third-year classroom." [Kotori]: "He's reacting like an NPC in a village." [Kotarou]: "So this is what third-years are like..." [Kotarou]: "Umm, we're trying to find someone." I ask him about the witch. [Third-Year Boy]: "...dunno, never heard of her. Try someone else." [Kotarou]: "Okay, thanks." [Kotarou]: "...so much for beginner's luck." [Kotori]: "What do we do?" [Kotarou]: "What do you mean? We just ask more people." [Third-Year Boy]: "Dunno." [Third-Year Boy]: "Never heard of her." [Third-Year Boy]: "Not a clue." Three strikes in a row. [Kotarou]: "The witch isn't as famous as we thought." [Kotori]: "Maybe we should try asking girls?" [Kotarou]: "Third-year girls...that's a bit stressful." [Kotori]: "But girls are more into good luck charms and such." [Kotarou]: "Oh, that's what you mean...good point." We decide to focus our attention on girls. [Third-Year Girl]: "Aaah, I know her, I've heard about it before." Instant success. [Kotarou]: "Really?" [Third-Year Girl]: "I've been told she's around here somewhere." She knows basically nothing. [Kotarou]: "I've heard she's a third-year." [Third-Year Girl]: "She is? I don't think she's in our class." [Kotarou]: "I see...thanks." We continue our investigation. [Third-Year Girl]: "I think I know her." [Third-Year Girl]: "I think I've heard about her." [Third-Year Girl]: "I think there've been rumors about her." [Kotarou]: "...none of them know any details." [Kotori]: "Such a mystery." [Kotarou]: "She's supposed to be a witch so I guess it makes sense..." [Kotarou]: "Oh well, on to the next one." [Third-Year Girl]: "A charmer...? Yeah, I know her." [Kotarou]: "Do you know where she is?" [Third-Year Girl]: "I've heard she's in the Occult Club." [Kotarou]: "Oh, now there's some detail." [Kotarou]: "Is the club active?" [Third-Year Girl]: "It's not on the usual club list, but I'm pretty sure there used to be one." [Third-Year Girl]: "Ah, but I've heard a rumor that it got shut down." [Kotori]: "Kotarou-kun." [Kotarou]: "Yeah, I think we're on to something here." [Kotarou]: "Senpai, is there anything else you could tell us about that?" [Third-Year Girl]: "I don't know that much, but I've heard...their club room is an empty classroom..." We have all the information we're going to get out of the third-years. [Kotarou]: "...an empty classroom..." [Kotori]: "There are a lot of those." This is the era of low birth rates. Our school is mammoth, but the number of students is normal. There's plenty of money to run the place even without filling it with students. So there's a huge supply of unused classrooms. [Kotori]: "I just checked the site." Kotori closes her cell phone. [Kotori]: "The Occult Research Club isn't on the list of clubs." [Kotarou]: "So she was right about that. Think it's because it's a "research" club?" [Kotori]: "Probably." Either they have too few members, or they aren't active. For whatever reason, the Occult Club isn't an officially recognized club. [Kotarou]: "It's quite impressive that such a small group managed to get their own classroom." [Kotori]: "What if they didn't?" [Kotarou]: "...they're using it without permission?" [Kotori]: "Yeah." [Kotori]: "But doesn't the school lock all the unused classrooms?" [Kotarou]: "Ah, you're right." [Kotori]: "So maybe the club did something really bad at some point." [Kotarou]: "...this is starting to sound like a huge scoop...maybe Inoue's actually good at this." [Kotori]: "Hm? You have an idea?" [Kotarou]: "Nope." [Kotarou]: "...and now I get it. If the Occult Club is actually active, we just have to look for an unlocked classroom." [Kotori]: "That's assuming it's still active." [Kotarou]: "Okay, we know what to do now." [Kotori]: "And lunch break is just about over." [Kotarou]: "Perfect timing. Let's head back for now." We return to the rendezvous point and meet up with Task Force SUZUKI. [Kotarou]: "Hey. How'd it go?" [First-Year Suzuki A]: "They say the witch is in the Occult Club." [First-Year Suzuki B]: "And apparently the club was last active two years ago." [Female Suzuki]: "They couldn't get any new members so it simply died out." After hearing their report, Kotori and I look at each other. [Kotarou]: "...so the club really is gone." [Kotori]: "Seems like it." As we think, second-year Suzuki returns. [Kotarou]: "Hey. How was it?" [Suzuki]: "I got some good info." [Suzuki]: "Tennouji-kun, please use this to improve your youth!" Obtained Info: "Mysterious Flying Object Downtown!?"! [Kotarou]: "Well, I guess this is nice..." Though it has absolutely nothing to do with our objective. [Kotarou]: "Did you find out anything about the Occult Club?" [Suzuki]: "Hmmmm, I didn't run across anything about that." [Kotarou]: "I see..." We feel dejected, but Suzuki shines a ray of hope upon us. [Suzuki]: "But I did find part of a pamphlet put out by the Occult Club." [Kotarou]: "Suzuki!" I roughly embrace Suzuki. [Suzuki]: "Tennouji-kun! Aaah, Tennouji-kun, that's...!" We exchange a passionate hug. [Kotori]: "...stop. People are looking." [Suzuki]: "Here's the pamphlet." [Kotarou]: "Okay, let's see it." Hmm, this does look handmade... No, it's been printed out.

<METADATA> Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Female Suzuki]: "They must've made copies of this with the printer." [Female Suzuki]: "It's like doujinshi or something." [Kotarou]: "I dunno about that, but this is pretty nice...do you have to pay money for copies like this?" [Female Suzuki]: "Yes." The bulletin itself has lots of specialist terminology, so I can't understand it. [Kotarou]: "I'll have to examine it later." [Suzuki]: "So we're done for now?" [Kotarou]: "Yeah, thanks for helping. I think we can do the rest ourselves." [Suzuki]: "Thank you for asking. It was fun helping you, Tennouji-kun." [First-Year Suzuki A]: "Senpai, thank you so much!" [First-Year Suzuki B]: "Ask us for help anytime!" [Female Suzuki]: "We learned a lot!" [Kotarou]: "Suzukis...thank you..." [Kotarou]: "You're all...such good friends..." [Suzuki]: "Tennouji-kun!" [Kotarou]: "Suzukis!" [Kotori]: "...the bell's gonna ring." So, after school finally ends... [Kotarou]: "Let's go!" [Kotori]: "All for one, one for all!" [Kotori]: "...you're awfully eager about this." [Kotarou]: "It's getting fun." [Kotori]: "Mm-hmm." [Kotarou]: "Doing stuff like this...it's really fun." [Kotarou]: "And not just because I made a bunch of friends." [Kotori]: "That's true." We go to the third-year floor. There are lots of people walking around after school. People going to clubs, people hurrying home, people chatting with classmates... [Kotori]: "Where should we start?" [Kotarou]: "Good question..." [Kotarou]: "Unused classrooms I guess." [Kotori]: "There's a lot of them though...should we check them all?" [Kotarou]: "Yeah, we should." [Kotori]: "By the way, Kotarou-kun, shouldn't we look at that thing Suzuki-kun found?" [Kotarou]: "Oh right, the pamphlet." I take it out of my bookbag. [Kotarou]: "Hmmm..." It's filled with strange words that only occult enthusiasts could possibly understand. I try reading it carefully, but I can't come close to understanding it. [Kotarou]: "Reading this makes my head swim." [Kotarou]: "This is for hardcore fanatics." [Kotori]: "Lemme see." [Kotori]: "Whoa! Hardcore...!" Even Kotori is taken aback by the level of esoteric jargon. [Kotori]: "There!" She unfolds it further without reading most of it. [Kotori]: "Ah, look at this!" [Kotarou]: "Oooh! What's this...?" Farther down, it says this: RITUAL MAGIC #47 "Written By Kazamatsuri Academy Occult Research Club" "Published By Astral Plane 2nd District 3rd Street #15 Temple Leader Solor Soran" "Telephone Number : XXX-XXX-XXXX [Kotarou]: "...it has a phone number. Considering how many privacy problems there are these days, this is a bit risky." [Kotarou]: "Think we should try calling it?" [Kotori]: "Well, you're not gonna prank call her, so I can't think of a reason not to." [Kotori]: "But she's still an alumna here..." [Kotarou]: "What're the odds this number still works?" [Kotori]: "If it does, this'll be an amazing find." [Kotarou]: "Yeah." I decide to try calling. The person picks up on the fifth ringtone. [Kotarou]: "I'm Tennouji...pleased to meet you." [?]: "Eh? ...who is this?" [Kotarou]: "Tennouji." [?]: "Tennouji? Who are you?" [Kotarou]: "To make a long story short...I'm always walking behind you." [?]: "...eh? You're a stalker?" [?]: "Then I'll sue you." [Kotarou]: "Sorry, I should have been more serious. I'm a kouhai." [?]: "Kouhai...from high school?" [Kotarou]: "Yes. I'm a second-year at Kazamatsuri Academy. My name is Tennouji. We've never met." [?]: "Haa...so I haven't met you. So what do you want then? Where'd you get this number?" [Kotarou]: "I saw it on an Occult Club bulletin, Ex-Prez." [Ex-Prez]: "!?" [Ex-Prez]: "What did you say?" What makes you say that? [Kotarou]: "I read it in great detail." [Kotarou]: "It really took me back...reading that incredible explanation of pentagram-based ceremonies." [Kotarou]: "Turn toward the east, imagine the flow of the holy powers and use your right hand to..." [Ex-Prez]: "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" [Ex-Prez]: "Why would you read that!?" [Kotarou]: "Eh? I just wanted to prove I'd read it...let me prove it even more." [Ex-Prez]: "Are you torturing me!?" [Kotarou]: "That's not my goal. I was just impressed by your knowledge on the subject." [Ex-Prez]: "Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." [Ex-Prez]: "I'd finally started to forget about iiiiiiit..." [Kotarou]: "You must've had a wonderful school life, paying money to make copies of these things." [Kotarou]: "Not many people can do that. I'm impressed. Seriously." [Ex-Prez]: "That makes it hurt even more!" [Kotarou]: "Huh?" [Ex-Prez]: "I'm just a perfectly normal alumna right now, nothing more!" [Kotarou]: "Yes. According to this bulletin, occult ceremonies are a component of advanced mental training regimens for raising one's soul to a higher plane of existence." [Kotarou]: "A true magician must keep their personal lives neat and tidy, yes?" [Ex-Prez]: "Stop! Stooop! Don't say such things!" [Ex-Prez]: "I know I wrote that article, but don't keep reminding me about it!" [Kotarou]: "...stick a dagger into the center of the pentagram you draw in the air, and speak the name of the holy one you worship." [Kotarou]: "Envelop yourself in the image of his holy name and astral body vibrating, and fly off to the farthest reaches of the universe..." [Ex-Prez]: "STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!" [Kotarou]: "Le oram amen...be eternal!" [Ex-Prez]: "Are you bullying me!? Do you enjoy harassing alumni!?" [Kotarou]: "No, I'm serious. These spells are all written out in full. I'm so impressed my astral body is vibrating." [Ex-Prez]: "Gopuaaah!" I hear what sounds like her vomiting up blood. [Kotarou]: ".........senpai, are you okay?" [Ex-Prez]: "Do you want money?"

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "Eh?" [Ex-Prez]: ".........do you want my money? I can send 20,000 yen to your bank account right now..." [Ex-Prez]: "Just burn it! BURN IIIIIIIIT!" [Kotarou]: "Eh? Twenty thousand just for talking? ...I'm not sure what's going on, but yay!" [Kotori]: "Blackmail. Blackmail. Threatening people." [Ex-Prez]: "Is that not enough!? I'm just a temp worker! I can't give you any more!" [Kotarou]: "No, you really don't have to...I wasn't after money anyway..." [Ex-Prez]: "You aren't? Then what? ...my body? Do you want my body?" [Kotarou]: "No, I wasn't after anything sexual..." [Kotarou]: "What celebrity do you most resemble?" [Ex-Prez]: "A long time ago I was a highly fashionable model." [Kotarou]: "Oooooh!" [Ex-Prez]: "But right now my waist is 69 cm." [Ex-Prez]: "I got addicted to donuts." [Ex-Prez]: "If anything that's an understatement. So would a young boy like you really be able to satisfy your lust with me?" [Kotarou]: "No...I wasn't after your body...that's not why I called..." [Ex-Prez]: "Then what is it!? What is it!? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEEEEE!?" [Kotarou]: "Please calm down, Solor Soran." That appears to be her magic name. Something you give yourself for magical ceremonies. I don't really get it, but I assume it's like a pen name. So I tried respectfully addressing her that way. [Ex-Prez]: "Ouu..." [Kotarou]: "Ex-Prez?" [Ex-Prez]: ".........that one...really hurt........." [Ex-Prez]: "You've forced me to remember...all of my repressed high school memories...thank you...I love you so much I want to kill you." [Kotarou]: "Glad to hear it." [Kotarou]: "So, there was something I wanted to ask you." [Ex-Prez]: "...what is it? ...speak..." Her voice is filled with reverberations of darkness. [Kotarou]: "I wanted to know where the Occult Club's clubroom is..." [Ex-Prez]: "Huh? We never had such a thing." [Kotarou]: "You didn't have one...?" [Ex-Prez]: "What issue is that pamphlet?" [Kotarou]: "Umm, it says #47." [Ex-Prez]: "Yeah, that's from when I was in charge. That bulletin's over ten years old." [Kotarou]: "Eh?" Come to think of it, it didn't have a date on it. [Ex-Prez]: "That's how long it's been since I graduated." [Ex-Prez]: "One of my kouhai took my place, but at that point there were only three members left." [Ex-Prez]: "I was told they couldn't get any new members, so the club disbanded." [Kotarou]: "Aaah, okay. So where did you do your club activities back then?" [Ex-Prez]: "It wasn't a public research group to begin with, so we used any place we could find...usually empty classrooms after school ended." [Ex-Prez]: "And we'd talk about which rooms were better or worse for magic...uheheheheh...no wonder I couldn't get a boyfriend." [Kotarou]: "Have you heard of a witch?" [Ex-Prez]: "Hm? You mean people who can use magic? That's a hardcore question." [Kotarou]: "No, I didn't mean it like that. There's a girl called the witch of the school..." [Kotarou]: "And she's supposed to be a third-year..." [Ex-Prez]: "Third-year...well she wasn't around when I was there, so I have no idea." [Kotarou]: "I see..." [Ex-Prez]: "Ah, I remembered something. There was one room we used an awful lot. It was sort of like a club room." [Ex-Prez]: "A long time ago, when the third school civil war broke out, some of the more extreme left-wingers among the third-year students destroyed it." This school has an amazing secret history to it. [Ex-Prez]: "That was twenty years ago. It was marked for renovation and no one was allowed in, but nothing ever happened to it." [Ex-Prez]: "It's far away from the other rooms, so it was a good place to do secret things in." [Ex-Prez]: "There were lots of legends about it. At midnight the school was said to suck you into an alternate dimension." [Kotarou]: "They didn't lock that room?" [Ex-Prez]: "We managed to make a copy of the key in secret. It was handed down through the Occult Club presidents." [Ex-Prez]: "We were very careful to make sure the school never found out." [Ex-Prez]: "That takes me back...we had a ceremony for handing the key down. Everyone had to look for it with their favorite magic, pseudoscience or supernatural power...we still had more than ten members back then." Despite what she said earlier, she seems to have had quite the fulfilling youth. [Kotarou]: "So where was that room?" [Ex-Prez]: "Ummm..." You learned where the abandoned classroom is! [Kotarou]: "Thank you so much, I'll go there right away!" [Ex-Prez]: "Now keep your end of the bargain and burn that pamphlet." [Kotarou]: "Understood." [Ex-Prez]: "Burn it!" [Kotarou]: ".........okay." [Ex-Prez]: "Good. I'll save this number so I can ask tomorrow if you burned it." [Kotarou]: "...gotcha." You became friends (?) with the Ex-Prez! Added one number to your contacts list! [Kotarou]: "Amigooo!" We decide to investigate the Occult Club room. [Kotarou]: "Here we go, Kotori!" [Kotori]: "Onward! One for all!" We begin wandering around the school. We check every classroom-like location we can find. It's a path toward hell. A trial with no end in sight. We search every last nook and cranny. [Kotarou]: "...uuu." [Kotori]: "Uuuuu..." Our faces are pale, and we groan as we walk down the halls. We look like zombies. Everyone steps aside when they see us. Someone holds up a cross. It's futile. Such things won't work on us. How far have we walked? At some point we gained control of the entire school. You completed the map of the school! And then, only one place remained. [Kotarou]: "This place feels kinda occult-y." We arrive at a lonely hallway. It's in the far corner of the school, and since no one uses this room there aren't any students or teachers in sight. The lights are off too. [Kotori]: "Come to think of it, it's probably supposed to feel like that." [Kotori]: "And here's the empty classroom..." [Kotarou]: "From what the Ex-Prez told me, it should be near here." [Kotori]: "I can smell 'mission complete' from here." [Kotarou]: "Let's check it out." I push the door. It won't open.

<METADATA> Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "She did say we needed a key..." [Kotarou]: "Makes sense it'd be locked." I try a few more times, but it won't move. ...then suddenly it does. [Kotarou]: "Waaaoh! Crap! Crap!" [Kotori]: "What's wrong?" [Kotarou]: "...apparently it wasn't locked. It's wide open." I lie as I open the door. Broken parts of the lock land near my feet. [Kotori]: "Ah, you broke it! Kotarou-kun, you broke it!" [Kotarou]: "Idiot! Be quiet...we can't let anyone find us!" [Kotori]: "You break things so easily." [Kotarou]: "I don't break stuff that often." [Kotori]: "Yes you do. You even broke a faucet recently." [Kotarou]: "That was a long time ago...I barely even remember it." [Kotarou]: "Aaah, I've been so careful about it recently. I guess I had to mess up eventually..." [Kotori]: "You're gonna have to pay for breaking public property. It's gonna be expensive!" [Kotarou]: "I've heard guard rails are quite expensive...but school doors...?" [Kotarou]: "Also it might've been broken before I got here." [Kotori]: "No, I heard it snap." I try picking up the metal on the floor. Part of it is twisted. There's no way this can be reused. [Kotarou]: "Damn..." [Kotori]: "You're gonna have to apologize if the Occult Club really is in here." [Kotarou]: "That's a bad first impression..." Not much I can do about it now though. [Kotarou]: "Hello, anyone in here...?" [Kotarou]: "It's dark." If there are any windows here, they're covered by curtains. [Kotori]: "Ummm, where's the switch..." Kotori runs her hands along the wall, but... [Woman]: "Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" [Kotarou]: "Whoa!?" [Kotori]: "Wa!" We both leap up in the air. [Kotarou]: "Who's there!?" ......... [Kotarou]: "Hello...?" I say toward the darkness, but no one answers. I can't feel any signs of life. [Kotarou]: (But...it does feel like death in here...) My stupid imagination makes my body shiver. [Kotori]: "...that scared me." [Kotori]: "But I've heard that voice somewhere before. Kotori-san is mighty curious about this." [Kotarou]: "Where's "somewhere?"" [Kotori]: "I don't know. But Kotori-san finds this room suspicious." She steps into the darkness without fear. This is the kind of bravery you might expect from a middle-aged woman. [Kotarou]: "Ah, don't be so reckless...do you want to get cursed!?" [Kotori]: "I think it came from over here..." She seems to be feeling around the walls. [Kotori]: "Ah, found it." [Woman]: "Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" [Kotarou]: "Uwa!" [Woman]: "Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" [Kotarou]: "Hieeeh!?" [Kotarou]: "S-someone! Someone with supernatural powers, help!" I scream toward the hallway. [Kotori]: "Calm down." [Kotori]: "Wait, I'll turn the lights on." After a few seconds, the lights come on. [Kotarou]: "Wa, what's this...?" This room is incredible. [Kotarou]: "It goes way beyond a classroom...in fact, this is better than most school facilities..." [Kotori]: "Look, no corpses anywhere." [Kotarou]: "You're right. So what was that scream?" [Kotori]: "Come here, come here." I walk over to where Kotori beckons. She's pointing to the light switch. [Kotarou]: "There's a lot of switches." There's a panel on the wall filled with dozens of switches. [Kotori]: "Try this one." I try pushing the one she indicates. [Woman]: "Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" [Kotarou]: "...I see." [Kotori]: "Pressing the button plays a recording of a scream, and I guess it's set to play automatically when someone enters." [Kotarou]: "This would go on a top ten list of most useless household appliances." [Kotori]: "What's this switch for?" [Man]: "Wax museum～!" [Kotori]: "There!" [Man]: "Wax museum～!" [Kotarou]: "...umm." [Kotarou]: "What do you use that for?" [Kotori]: "...maybe when you need material for a hundred ghost stories?" [Kotarou]: "But how would that voice help? Does it make something else happen?" [Kotori]: "Dunno." [Kotarou]: "This thing's so pointless..." [Kotarou]: "This room is weird." [Kotori]: "Well, anyway..." Kotori looks sharply around the room. The eyes of a woman checking something out. [Kotori]: "Someone's definitely using this room. It's too clean." It clearly hasn't been abandoned for a decade. There isn't a speck of dust anywhere. [Kotori]: "I smell a girl." [Kotarou]: "No way. Is that what that sweet smell is?" [Kotori]: "That's soap and shampoo you're smelling." [Kotori]: "But there's also a girl smell here too." [Kotarou]: "T-tell me more...I wanna smell it." [Kotori]: "Boys can't understand." [Kotarou]: "Dammit...I'm so curious...!" [Kotarou]: "I wanna smell...I wanna smell..." [Kotori]: "Have you forgotten our objective?" [Kotarou]: "...you're right." [Kotarou]: "So this place used to be a classroom, but she's renovated the hell out of it." [Kotori]: "There's even a fridge..." [Kotori]: "Ah, does this couch have a pull-out bed?" [Kotori]: "A PC, and AC, a humidifier, a TV, game consoles..." [Kotori]: "Executive office chairs." [Kotori]: "Trout and mackerel sushi! I wanna try this!" [Kotori]: "...there's even a bathroom, shower and changing room..." [Kotori]: "And it's soundproofed..." [Kotori]: "Just as I feared...a karaoke machine!" [Kotori]: "This is Dyson's state-of-the-art automatic cleaning robot..." [Kotori]: "A whole box of cupra...that's sad." She runs circles around the room and pulls all sorts of things out to inspect them. Every few seconds she lets out a cute scream. [Kotori]: "It's like a secret base! All the blessings of civilization are here!" [Kotarou]: "This is more than just expensive..." [Kotarou]: "Is she secretly in charge of the school or something...?" [Kotori]: "Okay, question." [Kotarou]: "Yes, Kanbe-san?" [Kotori]: "Conclusion:" [Kotori]: "...someone could live here." [Kotarou]: "That's not a question."

<METADATA> Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "But I've gotta admit, if I knew of a club with this much stuff I'd gladly resign my position in the going home club." A new question comes up. [Kotarou]: "...do you think the Occult Club would be capable of getting all this?" [Kotarou]: "There's no way you can do this without the school's help, right?" [Kotori]: "Maybe we're in the wrong place?" [Kotarou]: "This feels more appropriate for the President Club, the Fortune 500 Club, or maybe the Rockefeller Club." [Kotori]: "What are those clubs?" [Kotarou]: "But based on the books I see around here, this is definitely occult-centric." The bookshelves are filled with books about that stuff. [Kotori]: "This witch must be earning a ton of money." [Kotarou]: "...you think so...?" [Kotori]: "She must deliver teacakes to some big name politician or Echigoya or something." [Kotarou]: "Aaah, you're right, those bright yellow teacakes." [Kotori]: "Maybe she puts curses on their political enemies, or reads their futures." [Kotarou]: "Unfortunately, that's actually plausible." [Kotori]: "What should we do? She doesn't seem to be here..." [Kotarou]: "...it's already evening. If she's not here now, she probably won't show up anytime soon." [Kotori]: "Maybe we should leave a note? Ask her to call us when she gets back?" There is a pile of sticky notes on the table. [Kotarou]: "Might as well." [Kotarou]: "...that should do it." We're looking for the witch of the school. We'd like you to contact us. And I'm sorry for breaking your door. [Kotori]: "I hope she's not too angry about that." [Kotarou]: "Normally mysterious girls like this are the kind to heal you with kindness." [Kotori]: "But she's into black magic." I lose confidence. [Kotori]: "Ah, look at the time. Should we go?" [Kotarou]: "Yeah." [Kotarou]: (Still...this room is kinda insane.) [Kotarou]: (It feels like there's a big secret hiding here...) [Kotori]: "Come on, turn the lights off." [Kotarou]: "...okay." I spend the night alone in my big house. My parents haven't come home for weeks because of work. It's pretty fun living (sort of) on my own. But there have been a few minor problems recently. [Kotarou]: "Okay, everything's locked." I lock all the doors and windows. My defenses are perfect. ...against physical intruders. Anyway, I get into bed. I don't really want to turn the lights off. I'd like to leave them on. But I can't sleep with the lights on. Darkness covers the room. I cover my face with the blanket. I immediately become terrified. [Kotarou]: "―!" I pull my phone into bed and start calling Kotori, while feeling sorry for bothering her. She picks up on the third dial. [Kotarou]: "Hello!? Kotori, I love you!" [Kotori]: "Guupiii..." She was asleep. [Kotarou]: "...that's weird." Why did she answer the phone? Is she sleep...answering? [Kotori]: "Munyamunya...I can't eat any more..." [Kotarou]: "She speaks the legendary lines!?" [Kotori]: "Double...soda ice...is just..." [Kotarou]: "Yeah." [Kotori]: "I'll give Kotarou-kun...the smaller piece..." [Kotarou]: "That's kinda mean!" I see, humans can't hide their true feelings when they're asleep. This is my chance. [Kotarou]: "Okay, let's talk about love." [Kotori]: "Supipipipi..." [Kotarou]: "Who does Kanbe Kotori-san like most?" [Kotori]: "Herself..." Grrr... [Kotarou]: "Okay, what do you like in a guy?" [Kotori]: "Money..." [Kotarou]: "That's evil!" [Kotarou]: "I mean...that's pretty mean!" It wasn't exactly malicious, so I corrected myself. Still, she really has no hopes or dreams, does she? [Kotori]: "I'm not asking for ten million yen a year." [Kotori]: "But...I'd like a little spending money every month." [Kotarou]: "You're cheap." [Kotarou]: "What about love? To me that's most important." [Kotori]: "Love..." [Kotori]: "Some would be nice." [Kotarou]: "You should care more about that. A wife needs to love her husband." [Kotarou]: "Your kids will end up heartless." [Kotori]: "Right now...living is hard enough..." Is she just taking feminine modesty a little too far? I don't wanna leave that alone... But... I have no idea what I can say to her about it. [Kotori]: "Hey, Kotarou-kun." Kotori asks me something in her sleep. [Kotarou]: "What?" [Kotori]: "Go see...as much as you can." [Kotarou]: "Eh?" [Kotori]: "Don't stay...cooped up in one place..." [Kotori]: "Broaden your horizons...decide who you are...become someone..." What's she talking about? [Kotori]: "...become someone...who could run for cabinet..." [Kotarou]: "So it's all about money for you..." [Kotori]: "I look forward...to white day..." I have no words left. [Kotarou]: "One kilogram of fat, two kilograms of fat, three kilograms of fat..." [Kotori]: "Uuuuun...uuuuun........." Enjoy your dreams of getting fat. Talking to someone got rid of most of my fear. I should be able to sleep no problem now. In fact, I can feel sleep's gentle embrace right now... ...I can actually feel an embrace. It's like...a real woman is holding me... This must be a dream. A dream. Sleep has a strange smell, actually. Almost like a rainforest... [Kotarou]: "...eh.........?" There's just no way. I almost fell asleep, but that tinge of anxiety makes my eyes open. [Kotarou]: "..................eh?"

<METADATA> Name: Nakatsu Shizuru | Gender: Female | Aliases: Shizu Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> October 6th (Wednesday) I wake up...and feel very strange. [Kotarou]: "Last night..." I think something happened. Something...something very scary. [Kotarou]: (A ghost...?) Just thinking about it sends shivers down my back. [Kotarou]: "Stop, stop..." I start getting ready for school. I tell myself it's a dream. It must be a dream... I sit down in my seat, and of course, the transfer student Ohtori sits behind me. What is it...? She greets me normally, but it doesn't feel like she's warming up to me at all. Maybe I should try mixing some trivia into my morning chatter? If something catches her interest, it might spark a conversation and then we'd be friends. ...well, it's a bit strange trying to become friends with someone using a trick like that. But let's try it anyway. [Kotarou]: "Hey, Ohtori." [Ohtori]: "...good morning." She definitely isn't warming up. [Kotarou]: "By the way...you know that movie called "Jaws?"" [Kotarou]: "A lot of Japanese moviegoers seem to think that "Jaws" is the name of the shark, but it actually means "Jawbones."" [Ohtori]: "Oooh." I got her attention. [Kotarou]: "...that was kinda tough to understand. I should've picked one with a localized title." If we want to make the title clearer, "Jawbones" is kinda the only option... But that's a bit weird. Hmm..."Jawbones..." That probably wouldn't sell many tickets. [Kotarou]: "Wait, maybe I shouldn't be interpreting the "s" as a plural suffix?" [Ohtori]: "Who are you talking to?" S... [Kotarou]: "...as in "super" or "special?"" [Ohtori]: "Seriously, who...?" Jawbone Super... Probably better as "Super Jawbone." "Heart-pounding, jaw-dropping thrills are coming to a theater near you! The number one movie in America, "Super Jawbone!" Run to the theater now!" Odds are no one would run to the theater after reading that. It has 'B-movie comedy' written all over it. Makes me wonder why America liked it so much. [Kotarou]: "What about "special...?"" [Ohtori]: "I have no idea." Jawbone Special...yeah, definitely better to put the s-word in front. "Heart-pounding, jaw-dropping thrills are coming to a theater near you! The number one movie in America, "Special Jawbone!" We'll be waiting for you!" Odds are everyone will just let them wait, so now I feel sorry for them. This isn't working. I need to come up with a more appealing translation for Japanese people. S...stupendous. "Stupendous Jawbone" ...what kind of jaw is that? [Kotarou]: "If the number one hit movie in America was called "Stupendous Jawbone," wouldn't you want to go see it out of sheer curiosity?" [Ohtori]: "Well, I would want to know what it's about..." [Kotarou]: "But that translation feels too unfaithful. Maybe "Jawbone Stupendous" would be better..." [Kotarou]: "Then we shorten it to "JawboneS..." Perfect." [Kotarou]: "Wait a minute, "Jawbones" is what I started with!!" [Ohtori]: "I don't get it." And then homeroom begins. Once we reach lunch break, I stand up. [Kotarou]: "Crap, I'm late..." There probably won't be anything good left by the time I get to the cafeteria. Guess I'll have to buy something off-campus again. I gaze aimlessly out the window as I walk. [Kotarou]: "Ah." I catch a glimpse of Ohtori-san. Hmmm, if I get in a fight with her now, I won't have any time to go buy lunch... [Kotarou]: "Evasive action." I turn back the way I came, and try heading down a different route. As I turn the corner... [Kotarou]: "Okay..." I widen my strides. And... *pwheeeet* An awkward whistle-blowing noise. *fwump*――― Now the noise of rustling fabric. I turn around to find a tiny girl whose head doesn't even reach my shoulders. Her appearance is unique in several ways, so I could identify her immediately. I do know her, by the way. [??]: "Mmm..." My acquaintance groans, then takes a deep breath. *pffwee* A pitiful sound. [??]: ".........?" She taps her whistle. Is it broken? I could just ask her, but...what'll happen if I ignore her? My curiosity forces me to leave while pretending not to notice her. [??]: "......!" *fff*――― *fffwe* *ffffwee* *ffff!* *ffff!!* *FFFFFF!!!* She frantically tries to blow her whistle. She gazes down at her whistle with a face that says "What happened to you?" I'm starting to feel guilty for being quiet. [Kotarou]: "Ummm..." [Kotarou]: "What are you doing?" [??]: "Muu..." Apparently her whistle is giving her trouble. [Kotarou]: "Lemme see that." I gesture that I'll be right back, and head for the nearest water source. I wash the whistle. After drying it off with a handkerchief, I hand it back to her. It's the kind of metallic whistle the umpire would use in baseball. I look inside, and see some water. This definitely won't blow properly. [Kotarou]: "I thought so. Listen." [Kotarou]: "It's good to keep stuff clean, but if water gets stuck in this thing it won't blow." [Kotarou]: "You washed this earlier too, didn't you?" [??]: ".........!" "Oooh...it all makes sense now..." her face says. I shake the water out, then hand it back. *pwheeeet* [??]: "Oh～..." *point* *pwheeeet* She points at me and blows the whistle. [??]: "Warning." [??]: "Do not run in the halls." We're finally back on track. [Kotarou]: "Mm..." [Kotarou]: "Well, I guess I kinda was running, but..." [??]: "The student handbook says "Do not run in the halls."" [Kotarou]: "Why are you repeating that?" [??]: "I'm a moral guard." It's like we're in America. Also the expression is "moral guardian." [Kotarou]: "I see. What's your name?" [??]: "Shizuru." [Kotarou]: "Your height?" She shows me a 1, and 4 and a 9 with her fingers. [Kotarou]: "Your weight?" She shows me a 3 and a 9. [Kotarou]: "Your three sizes?" [Shizuru]: "Mmmmm..." She thinks. [Kotarou]: "It's fine if you don't know." She's very honest. She lowers her shoulders a little. She seems sad that she couldn't answer my question.

<METADATA> Name: Nakatsu Shizuru | Gender: Female | Aliases: Shizu Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "By the way, girls don't have to answer that question." "They don't? I see..." she thinks. Every so often we bump into each other and have silly encounters like this. I think we first met in a meeting of some kind. I went there in place of some student council member. For whatever reason, she took a liking to me. Her eyepatch is quite distinctive, so for once it took me no time at all to learn her face. ...though I've never asked why she wears it. I've never seen her without it, so there's probably something wrong with her eye. I don't want to ask about it though. [Kotarou]: "So, what do you want with me, Shizuru-san?" I feel like a big brother whenever I talk to her. I am aware of that though, so I try not to go overboard. She hits her palm with her fist, as if to say "Oooh, that's right!" [Shizuru]: "Kotarou." Incidentally, Shizuru has been consistently addressing me that way ever since I asked her to. I told her it was easier on me, but it seems like she just isn't concerned about senpai-kouhai etiquette. [Kotarou]: "What is it?" [Shizuru]: "Do not run in the halls." [Shizuru]: "The student handbook says "Do not run in the halls."" She repeats what she said earlier. [Kotarou]: "On what page?" "Hmmm, fine" her face says as she pulls the student handbook out of her pocket. She flicks through the pages. She flicks through it again. [Kotarou]: "Umm..." [Shizuru]: ".........?" [Kotarou]: "I don't think it's actually in there." [Shizuru]: ".........!!" "How could this be...!?" her wide-eyed expression says. We're not in elementary school anymore, so they don't bother writing down obvious stuff like that. [Shizuru]: "I can't use that line anymore..." She hangs her head in sorrow. Was she imitating one of the other hall monitors...? She must've thought that line sounded really cool. [Kotarou]: "But it is true that we can't run in the halls." I agree with her, and she nods and smiles, as if to say "That's right, that's right." [Kotarou]: "So, is that all? Moral Guard Shizuru-san?" She thinks. She puts the whistle to her mouth. *pwheet* *twirl* *pwheet* She blows the whistle, makes an X with her arms, then points at me. [Shizuru]: "Traveling." Taking three steps without dribbling the ball is illegal. But... [Kotarou]: "Unfortunately, I don't have the ball." Clearly a bad call by the ref. [Shizuru]: ".........?" "What is it?" her face says. [Kotarou]: "Hm?" I look closer, and see her blushing. Was that last joke just to hide her embarrassment? Sometimes I can tell what she's thinking, but other times... [Kotarou]: "I'm not sure I understand, but...isn't there a punishment for this sort of thing?" [Shizuru]: "Punishment?" [Kotarou]: "Yeah, a punishment. Like losing points for going too fast, or having extra cleaning duty due to a rule violation." She looks through the handbook again. [Shizuru]: "Unfortunately, there are no mandated punishments..." [Kotarou]: "Then it's up to you to choose one, Moral Guard Shizuru-san." [Shizuru]: "...punishment...punishment..." She thinks hard. Then she hits her palm with her hand. [Shizuru]: "Let's eat lunch in the courtyard together." She acts like it's a great idea. [Kotarou]: "That's a strange punishment." [Shizuru]: "Muu..." "What? It is?" she starts thinking again. [Kotarou]: "Actually, wasn't that your goal the entire time?" [Kotarou]: "Not that I mind or anything." Blush. Evidently it was. [Kotarou]: "Okay, let's go." She glances at me, fidgeting. [Kotarou]: "Is something wrong, Shizuru-san?" She follows behind me. [Kotarou]: "Well, at least it's sunny." [Kotarou]: "Might be nice to sunbathe while having lunch." She nods. [Kotarou]: "The problem is though, I still don't have any food. Should I go buy something..." Even more time has passed since I decided there would be nothing good left. Whatever's still there is going to be horrible... "That's a big problem." She folds her arms and thinks. [Shizuru]: "Kotarou." [Kotarou]: "Yes yes?" [Shizuru]: "Good luck." She gives me a thumbs up. [Kotarou]: "Yeah, will do." I give her one too. [Kotarou]: "I have failed..." All I got was two pieces of anpan. [Kotarou]: "I've been having a lot of bad luck with food lately." [Shizuru]: "Are those bad...?" She looks sadly at the anpan. [Kotarou]: "They're not bad, but they're a type of bread no one wants." [Kotarou]: "I only got these because I went too late." [Shizuru]: ".........!" She timidly offers her bentou. ...then she lowers her head slightly. [Kotarou]: "No...you didn't do anything wrong, Shizuru." She probably feels guilty for taking up my time with those jokes earlier. *sad* [Kotarou]: "Don't worry about it..." "Really?" asks her face. "But..." her face says. "This will remain a disgrace to my dignity as a warrior. I must do all in my power to atone for it," her face says. It wasn't quite that old-fashioned, but you get the point. [Kotarou]: "Okay, gimme a part of your bentou. Any part you like." She nods. That exchange seems to have reassured her. Now then... [Kotarou]: "Hmmmm..." I think again. It's not a very good idea to bring a hall monitor with me off-campus to buy lunch. [Kotarou]: "In this situation...we must barter." [Shizuru]: ".........?" [Kotarou]: "Just watch." I return to class. [Kotarou]: "Heeey, Kotoriii!" [Kotori]: "Yes yes, what be the trouble, Kotarou-san?" [Kotarou]: "Perfect, you haven't eaten yet." [Kotori]: "I was just about to start eating..." [Kotarou]: "You're in luck, Kotori-san. If you'd eaten already you'd have missed out on a great deal." [Kotori]: "Eh? What deal?" [Kotarou]: "First, I will explain things." [Kotori]: "Okay." [Kotarou]: "What do you think of when I say Hokkaidō?" [Kotori]: "Hokkaidō...Hokkaidō..." [Kotori]: "It's cold?" [Kotarou]: "Indeed it is cold. But what about the food?"

<METADATA> Name: Nakatsu Shizuru | Gender: Female | Aliases: Shizu Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotori]: "So it's about food. Hmmm..." [Kotori]: "It's good?" [Kotarou]: "Yes, that's right." [Kotarou]: "As we all know, the natural northern climate breeds the finest seafood and agriculture." [Kotori]: "So much nature. It's almost romantic." [Kotarou]: "So, I have here an anpan chocked full of northern blessings." [Kotori]: "Wow! That's amazing, Kotarou-san!" [Kotarou]: "Just look at this thing. The filling was made from nothing but Tokachi beans." [Kotarou]: "The Tokachi fields output the highest quantity and quality that Japanese agriculture has to offer." [Kotori]: "Tokachi fields!" [Kotarou]: "Which means these beans are none other than the northern lands themselves." [Kotori]: "Amazing! That's sure to be delicious!" [Kotarou]: "You want it?" [Kotori]: "I can't back down after hearing the words Tokachi fields." [Kotarou]: "Good. Then let's make a deal." [Kotori]: "But are you sure? Isn't that your lunch?" [Kotarou]: "I'm trying to swap this for part of your lunch, Kotori." [Kotori]: "Oooh, nice idea!" [Kotarou]: "And thus I obtained furikake rice and pickled vegetables." She's in awe. [Shizuru]: "Impressive..." [Kotarou]: "No. It's the northern climate that's impressive." [Kotarou]: "Especially the taste of Tokachi fields." [Shizuru]: "Hokkaidō...a formidable foe." Well, Kotori should be fine with that anpan and the rest of her bentou. Though they might not go together well. [Kotarou]: "Okay, I could satisfy myself with this..." [Kotarou]: "But while I'm at it, let's aim even higher." [Shizuru]: ".........!!" "What? You're going to go even higher? ...what a terrifying man this Kotarou is!" says her face. I'm starting to have fun dubbing Shizuru's thoughts. [Kotarou]: "Heeey, Yoshino～" [Yoshino]: "Don't talk to me so casually...I'll kill you." [Kotarou]: "Eeeh?" Whoops, he's in a bad mood. [Yoshino]: "Right now I am a starving wolf...carelessly approaching a wild dog will get you hurt..." Are you a dog or a wolf? Pick one. But the point is he hasn't eaten lunch yet, so he's starving to the point of insanity. He's getting irritable because he's hungry. Cute little Yoshino-kun. Anyway, at times like this, I need to go out of my way to talk in sync with him. [Kotarou]: "Don't listen to me...I'll kill you." [Yoshino]: "What? Excellent...I'll listen to every word you say." [Kotarou]: "Don't look at this. I'll kill you." [Yoshino]: "Ha! Screw you. I'll look all over it." He'll disobey any order I give him. [Kotarou]: "Guess I have no choice. Here." I take out the anpan. [Yoshino]: "Oooh? What is this?" [Kotarou]: "Ever eaten it?" [Yoshino]: "No...now that you mention it..." [Kotarou]: "Why don't you give it a try?" [Yoshino]: "Don't mock me. I'm going to clean out my arteries with this vegetable sandwich." [Kotarou]: "Wait, wait, are you saying this anpan is bad for your health?" [Kotarou]: "Look, all of the wheat was made in Japan." [Yoshino]: "...what?" [Kotarou]: "Come on, smell it. Suu, haa, suu, haa." I open the bag, put it to my nose and inhale. I try to make Yoshino do the same thing. Incidentally, the image of him doing this is extremely unpleasant. [Yoshino]: "Kuaaa...the..." [Yoshino]: "The sweet, fragrant scent is almost unbearable..." I want to laugh at that so badly, but I hold it in for now. [Kotarou]: "All right, you can have this for that vegetable sandwich. I'll pay the difference." [Yoshino]: "So that was your goal all along? That was needlessly roundabout..." [Kotarou]: "But still, all of the beans come from Tokachi fields." [Yoshino]: "Wow, all of them? If there's that much Tokachi in it, I have no choice...here." [Kotarou]: "Behold, I am victorious." She looks at me with sparkling eyes and a jealous gaze. [Shizuru]: "Go Kotarou..." [Kotarou]: "I'm surprised how powerful the name "Tokachi fields" is..." She nods. [Shizuru]: "But why did smelling that anpan make him so happy...?" [Kotarou]: "He's just like that." [Shizuru]: ".........?" "Hmmm?" her confused face says. And that is how I procured my lunch for the day. [Kotarou]: "Okaaay, now let's go have our exciting lunchtime." [Shizuru]: "Exciting lunchtime." I'd prefer you say that with a little more emotion. Shizuru tags along with me to the courtyard. [Kotarou]: "Okay, about here seems good." She nods and takes a newspaper out of her skirt. Does she have secret pockets under there? [Shizuru]: ".........?" "What is it?" asks her face. [Kotarou]: "Just...look around before pulling your skirt up." [Kotarou]: "I almost saw your panties." [Shizuru]: "Not a problem." [Kotarou]: "Really?" I can't tell if she means it's fine because I didn't see them, or it'd be fine even if I did see them. [Shizuru]: ".........?" "What stupid thing are you worrying about now, Johnny?" says her face. [Kotarou]: "Don't worry about it, it's nothing." [Shizuru]: ".........?" "Anyway, who's Johnny?" says her face. Well I did lie about that part, so she seems annoyed about it. She shrugs and goes back to spreading out the newspaper. One piece for me, and one for her. After thinking for a bit, she moves my newspaper in front of hers. [Shizuru]: "Kotarou." She pats it. I guess she wants us to eat facing each other. Since she asked, I sit opposite her. [Shizuru]: "Good." She smiles wide and sits down in front of me. [Kotarou]: "Okay, let's see what's in here..." I open up the bentou box I got from Kotori. Rikako-san's special seaweed and bonito furikake rice. This is enough for a meal, but I still want something else. I look toward Shizuru as she pushes the straw into her juice box, making it leak. [Kotarou]: "No, no, you've gotta hold the corner." I take out a tissue and wipe her hands.

<METADATA> Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Nakatsu Shizuru | Gender: Female | Aliases: Shizu Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> She lowers her shoulders in shame. [Kotarou]: "Cheer up, it's not like you lost all the juice." "You sure...?" her sad face says. [Kotarou]: "Come to think of it, I need some other stuff to go with this." She raises her head. [Shizuru]: "Have whatever you want." She holds out her bentou. Some octopus weiners, fried spinach and bacon, and two cherry tomatoes. There's some seaweed furikake rice in her hand. These are all lightweight, but well-balanced items. [Kotarou]: "Then I'll have some of the octopi." [Shizuru]: "Half." Three octopi board my bentou box. [Kotarou]: "Wait, you're sure it's okay for me to take that many?" [Shizuru]: "I have this." The fully prepared Shizuru-san rests her bentou lid on her lap. [Kotarou]: "What's that? Saury kabayaki?" She looks at me, "You want it?" [Kotarou]: "No, if you were saving it then you should have it." [Shizuru]: "Unfortunately..." [Shizuru]: "I cannot allow you to have this." She's showing her pride now. Well, I didn't want it that badly anyway. [Kotarou]: "Then I'll take some octopi." [Shizuru]: "Please do." *munch* Mmm, this is good. Whose idea was it to pack meat into a sausage and then smoke it? Whoever it was, these wieners are his legacy. We must be grateful for that great man who made this possible. [Shizuru]: "Mu!" She looks at the vegetable juice at her feet. [Shizuru]: "Ants! Ants!!" Shizuru-san freaks out. Ants are climbing up the side of her vegetable juice. She looks back and forth between me and the ants. "What do I do!?" I'm not sure why she's reacting that badly. Guess I'll help her for now. I pick up the juice. [Kotarou]: "Fu!" I blow off the ants. [Kotarou]: "Okay, it's fine now." I hand it back to her. She seems calm now. [Shizuru]: "Mumu..." Then suddenly her face darkens again. It looks like holding the juice took up her free hand. But if she puts it back down, ants will assault it. But her lap is already full with her bentou box and canned fish. She looks desperately at me again. Those eyes make me want to tease her for some reason. [Kotarou]: "Okay, let's do this." I put the juice on Shizuru's head. She accepts it and begins eating again. I was expecting her to fight to keep her balance, so this is kinda disappointing. [Kotarou]: "What's that!?" I try to make her turn her neck. [Shizuru]: ".........?" "What is it?" she tilts her head. But the juice on her head doesn't budge. She's got damn good balance... [Kotarou]: "No, it was nothing." "You sure?" she sticks her chopsticks into the saury. That's such a happy face... It's like a cat lounging in the sunlight. Just seeing it fills my heart with kindness. [Shizuru]: "♪" She happily reaches for something else. After finishing it, she returns to the saury. It's like she's reached the pinnacle of bliss... [Kotarou]: "You like saury that much?" She nods. [Kotarou]: "I see..." [Shizuru]: ".........?" "Why ask something so obvious?" she asks with her eyes. [Shizuru]: "You want some?" [Kotarou]: "I guess..." [Shizuru]: "But there's only one here..." [Shizuru]: "You can have one bite." [Kotarou]: "Ah, I can?" She puts one piece on top of the rice. [Kotarou]: "Okay, here goes." *munch* Yeah, this is good. But it's just normal canned saury. I don't think I'm capable of making a face this happy... [Shizuru]: "Haa～..." After she enjoys the aftertaste for a while... She drinks the vegetable juice. [Kotarou]: "Was it good?" [Shizuru]: "Very good." She answers with a full smile. Her face tells me she must've enjoyed it from the bottom of her heart. She's bad at talking, but she's still good at getting her emotions across. This is what Shizuru's like. Today's class ends, and I look toward Ohtori's seat. Well...more like I couldn't avoid seeing it... Transfer student Ohtori-san is reading a book. That impossibly heavy box is at her feet (so she did find it). And she's reading an amazingly huge book from it with one hand. All the boys here seem unable to approach her now that they've seen this bizarre sight. [Kotarou]: (She might as well stand up and say "I'm a power fighter...") Though she doesn't seem to care at all. Her eyes zoom across the page. [Boy]: "*whisper* *whisper*...(she's a power fighter...)" [Boy]: "*whisper* *whisper*...(is she for real...)" She's drawing attention. Of course she is. She only just got here and she's already doing weird things. [Kotarou]: "...hey." [Kotarou]: "Hey, Ohtori." I get the urge to talk to her. [Ohtori]: "Yes?" [Kotarou]: "About that book..." [Ohtori]: "You can't have it." [Kotarou]: "No, I wasn't gonna say it looked interesting." [Kotarou]: "...you sure you wanna be weirding everyone out?" [Ohtori]: "Weirding them out?" [Kotarou]: "Well...you were popular with the boys, but the cuckoo's already calling." [Ohtori]: "......?" Evidently she didn't even notice it. Come to think of it, she didn't react all that positively to the transfer student fever either. [Ohtori]: "I'm just reading some books I borrowed." [Ohtori]: "I don't like big crowds anyway, so it's fine." She reaches a good stopping point, bookmarks it and closes the book. [Kotarou]: "Ah, I see..." So she borrowed them from someone. What was that guy thinking when he gave her these books? Unfortunately the world isn't made to accommodate girls who take completely abnormal actions. In more precise terms, she'd just be an oddity. Did the guy who lent her these books want her to get in this awkward position? ...did Ohtori want it? What on earth am I thinking? I only met her a few days ago. I worry about people too much... [Kotarou]: "Hey, have any plans this afternoon?" [Ohtori]: "Huh? What do you mean?" [Kotarou]: "I was thinking of showing you around town." [Ohtori]: "...h-huh?" [Kotarou]: "Well, you know, you ended up hating me right off the bat, but I never meant to cause harm or anything." [Kotarou]: "So I want to do something to show I'm sorry about it."

<METADATA> Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> I'm a modern youngster, incapable of apologizing to people directly. [Ohtori]: "Y-you don't have to...say it like that..." [Ohtori]: "Now I can't say anything but sorry either..." Oh, I got through to her. Thank goodness. [Ohtori]: "But I hate you and your overly casual behavior for unrelated reasons." [Kotarou]: "Ah, you mean when I mentioned cherries? I'm definitely sorry about that, but you know, when life gives you cherries..." [Ohtori]: "Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!" Crap. Shouldn't have said that. [Ohtori]: "That's what I hate about you!!!" [Ohtori]: "Anyway! I already arranged to hang out with someone else so I can't go with you today!!" [Ohtori]: "Goodbye!!" She gives me a quick glance, goes "Hmph!" and heads for the door. [Kotarou]: "...see you tomorrow then." [Ohtori]: "I just told you acting like that makes me hate you!" She turns toward me while walking. [Kotarou]: "Ah, Ohtori." [Ohtori]: "What!?" [Kotarou]: "The door's closed." *bam!* ...she hits her head on the door. [Ohtori]: "O-owww..." [Kotarou]: "You should really watch where you're going." [Ohtori]: "I would've if you hadn't started talking to me!" [Ohtori]: "Anyway! Goodbye!" She throws the door open with all her might. *pop* The door falls off its track. [Ohtori]: "Aaaaaaaaaaaa!?" She desperately tries to keep the door from falling all the way over. [Kotarou]: "Umm, it just fell off the rail, so..." [Ohtori]: "Uu...uuu...why does this always happen..." [Kotarou]: "Don't you have somewhere to go? I'll fix it for you, so get going." [Ohtori]: "I-I can't just...!" [Kotarou]: "Owowow! You're pinching me!" In the end, we fix the door together. [Ohtori]: "Haa, that was tiring..." [Kotarou]: "Yeah, job well done!" [Ohtori]: "Yes...that was tiring...why did this have to happen..." [Kotarou]: "Don't worry. Everyone has their off-days when their biorhythms simply aren't in sync for whatever reason." [Ohtori]: "It's been happening every day since I met you." [Kotarou]: "That's a coincidence. For all we know, everything might be rosy starting tomorrow." [Ohtori]: "What color of rose?" [Kotarou]: "Dunno." I guess red or pink. [Ohtori]: "Anyway, I'm going home now..." She walks off. [Kotarou]: "Ohtori." [Ohtori]: "Yes?" [Kotarou]: "Weren't you gonna go meet someone?" She spins around. [Kotarou]: "You forgot all about it." [Ohtori]: "N-no I didn't forget it!" [Kotarou]: "Well, if you say so..." [Kotarou]: "Bye then!" [Ohtori]: "B-bye..." I wave to Ohtori as she leaves, then I get ready to go home myself. [Kotarou]: "...huh?" Wait a minute, who could she be meeting? She just transferred here. Is there someone in another class she knows already? I wanna know. [Kotarou]: "I guess it doesn't matter..." In the age of the internet, people have lots of friends far away from where they live. It's certainly possible for a student to transfer to a town near one of those friends. [Kotarou]: "Oh well..." I leave the classroom. Let's try following her. Normally I'd just ask who it is, but it's hard to tell if we're even on speaking terms. So I have no choice but to stalk her. ...I shouldn't make a habit out of this, but I only want to get a glimpse of this person. I'll follow a fixed distance behind her so she doesn't notice. She walks along, completely unconcerned. But she is wearing that uniform, so she kinda stands out. [Kotarou]: (Hmmm...) Does she even know how odd she looks? ...actually, she probably doesn't care. She starts going up the stairs. [Kotarou]: "Uh-oh..." She could go in either direction when she gets to the next floor. It'd be bad if I lost her here... [Kotarou]: (It's risky, but I'll have to get closer...) This is the most perilous part of a stealth mission. She might see me when she turns around on the landing, so I have to walk around the outside. [Kotarou]: "Hm...?" There's a small puddle in the corner. Someone must've been cleaning the stairs. And they forgot to wring out their mop. I have a bad feeling about this, so I move toward the center. [Ohtori]: "Ah!" She slips and falls. [Ohtori]: "Wa! Wa!" A short pause. [Ohtori]: "Waaaaaah!!!" She tumbles. [Kotarou]: "Mm..." *catch* [Ohtori]: "Wa...eh?" [Kotarou]: "You okay?" I successfully grab hold of her. [Kotarou]: "You trip on things a lot." [Ohtori]: "Ah...aau..." This wasn't my goal, but I'm glad I stalked her. [Ohtori]: "U-umm..." [Kotarou]: "Hm?" [Ohtori]: "C-could you, well...let go of me...?" [Kotarou]: "I was waiting for you to stand up." [Ohtori]: "Wah!" Ohtori's the one leaning on me. She stands up. [Ohtori]: "Umm!" [Kotarou]: "Yes?" [Ohtori]: "...thank you very much." [Kotarou]: "I saw some puddles around here, so watch out for them." [Ohtori]: "B-by the way...why are you here?" [Kotarou]: "Eh? Me?" I followed you. ...but if I say that, her opinion of me will plummet even further. [Kotarou]: "The wind called me..." [Ohtori]: "Huh?" [Kotarou]: "Just passing through." ...does she suspect something? [Kotarou]: "Well, something like that." I should probably get out of here quickly. I raise a hand in farewell and turn around. [Ohtori]: "U-umm..." [Kotarou]: "Hm?" [Ohtori]: "I didn't need your help!" [Kotarou]: "Haa..." [Ohtori]: "Ah, no, I'm not saying I'm not grateful!" [Kotarou]: "You're not making much sense, but..." [Kotarou]: "Are you saying you're an adult woman, so you can handle situations like this on your own?" [Ohtori]: "Yes!!" [Ohtori]: "Why aren't you saying anything!?!" [Kotarou]: "Well, you know..." Saying that doesn't make me any less worried about you. [Ohtori]: "Anyway! You don't have to keep helping me!" [Ohtori]: "...it's always awkward trying to figure out how to interact with people like you."

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "Really...?" [Ohtori]: "So! Thank you!" She says that angrily, and starts climbing the stairs again. Well, I hope she's as self-reliant as she claims to be. ...what if there are more puddles higher up? [Kotarou]: "I really love babysitting people..." I can't help but think this isn't going to benefit me in any way. I start pursuing her again. [Ohtori]: "Wa! Wa!" Aaah, I knew it... *catch* [Kotarou]: "Hi there." [Kotarou]: "You fall from the sky a lot." She really does need someone to watch her. [Ohtori]: "...thank you yet again." [Kotarou]: "Don't worry about it." [Kotarou]: "But normal people would be seriously injured or killed by these falls. You're kinda desensitizing me." [Ohtori]: "I-it's normal." [Kotarou]: "I see." No helping it if it's normal. [Ohtori]: "B-besides, I said you don't have to help me..." [Kotarou]: "I won't help when you don't need it." [Ohtori]: "Uu...uuu..." This time she leaves without a word. [Kotarou]: "Geez." Can she really live like this...? I'm worried. [Ohtori]: "So why are you following me?" [Kotarou]: "Hm? Don't worry about it." [Ohtori]: "...if you say so." At least I can get away with blatantly pursuing her up these stairs. We reach the top. [Kotarou]: "Okay, I'm going this way." [Ohtori]: "Haa..." [Kotarou]: "Where are you going, Ohtori?" [Ohtori]: "Huh? I was going to visit a third-year." [Kotarou]: "Oooh." Well, that is the only thing you can do on this floor. [Kotarou]: "Which class?" [Ohtori]: "...why do you want to know?" [Kotarou]: "I'll graciously escort you there." [Ohtori]: "Y-you don't need to do that!" [Kotarou]: "Then just tell me where it is." [Ohtori]: "Ummm..." [Ohtori]: "I was going to find out after looking for it." [Kotarou]: "So, do you know yet?" [Ohtori]: "I-I will in a minute!" Not that I care, but a second-year on this floor really stands out. And Ohtori's in her orange uniform. Everyone staring is starting to get annoying. [Kotarou]: "...so what do you mean by "find out?"" [Ohtori]: "Umm...the occ..." [Ohtori]: "It's the occ-something." [Kotarou]: "Occ..." [Kotarou]: "...ult?" [Ohtori]: "Yeah, I think it was like that." [Kotarou]: "...so you're after someone in the Occult Club?" [Ohtori]: "Well, I'm not sure." It's not even clear if that club exists... [Kotarou]: "Are you into that stuff?" [Ohtori]: "I really don't know, but apparently I have to go see someone related to it." [Kotarou]: "Hmm?" [Kotarou]: "Who is this person exactly? Is it a man? Is he sexy?" [Ohtori]: "Wh-what kind of girl do you think I am!?" [Kotarou]: "Eeeh? But I wanna know." [Ohtori]: "...stop caring about silly little things like that." [Kotarou]: "You won't tell me?" [Ohtori]: "No I will not." [Kotarou]: "...so cold." [Kotarou]: "Well, the Occult Club used to be in an empty classroom, so we'll probably find out in no time." [Ohtori]: "It is? Okay, bye then." She walks off. [Kotarou]: "By the way, Ohtori-san." [Ohtori]: "Yes? What is it?" [Kotarou]: "The empty classroom is that way." I point. [Ohtori]: "I-I know that." [Kotarou]: "Try not to get sidetracked." I should listen to myself more. Again, she leaves without a word. [Kotarou]: "So her friend's into the occult..." She does seem to be doing everything in her power to become unpopular... [Kotarou]: (Oh well.) If that's what she wants, I can't stop her. [Kotarou]: "Having no friends is kinda lonely though." I've never transferred myself, but if I had to go to another school without Kotori or Yoshino... [Kotarou]: (I'd probably try to make some new friends.) It'd be lonely otherwise. I'd think everyone would feel the same way... *knock* *knock* She knocks on the door. [Ohtori]: "I'm here." [Voice]: "...oh." [Ohtori]: "It's been a long time." [Voice]: "I'm amazed you didn't get lost." [Ohtori]: "O-of course I didn't." [Voice]: "Well, the hard part is still ahead of us...try not to stand out too much." [Ohtori]: "Yes..." Official words. Blunt words, without much meaning behind them. It's always like this. "Do not form any close relationships during the mission." That's what they always say. [Voice]: "It's fine." Ohtori sighs. They're done talking about "the mission." [Voice]: "By the way..." [Ohtori]: "Ah, yes?" [Voice]: "Are you making any friends?" Meaningless chatter. It's important to have some of it from time to time. [Ohtori]: "Friends?" She doesn't understand. She hesitates to answer, as if she's thinking of someone. ...that's never happened before. They both know that. Both of them were surprised at her reaction. But, since she was thinking of someone... [Ohtori]: "...is it okay to make one?" She asks that question. [Voice]: "Sure, why not?" [Ohtori]: "Really?" It's likely that neither of them knows the true meaning of the word 'friend'. But they might learn it soon... [Ohtori]: "Then I'll try." [Voice]: "All right." That's all anyone can do. *roll* *roll* *roll* *roll!* *smaaack!!* One transfer student rolls down the stairs. [Kotarou]: "You sure you're all right without my help?" [Ohtori]: "I said I'm fine and I am!! Please stop worrying about me!!!" ...well, she definitely seems uninjured... [Kotarou]: "The wind's picking up." Kazamatsuri's surrounded by forest, so sometimes the air descends in a random place and starts up unpredictable winds. This seems to be one of those days. The wind gets stronger and stronger. It's on par with a small typhoon. Some women have to hold their skirts down. [Kotarou]: "...wow." This is pretty intense. I can feel it pushing against my body. A sheet between two buildings tears and starts flapping around. Someone screams. Along with a very slight, otherworldly sound. Then I see it.

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> Something falls from a tall building. Multiple things. The first one hits the ground. A few meters in front of me. It makes an unfamiliar noise as it shatters. I put a hand in front of my left eye. I feel a little pain in my palm right after I do that. A tiny object seems to have hit me at high speed. A piece of a flowerpot. It fell from one of the buildings. The soil spills out onto the ground, and the ripe fruit looks stepped on. Several more flowerpots fall in the wind. Seven in total. One's making a beeline for my head. It's so sudden my body tenses up. If I calm down and move, I can evade it. But there's no time to calm down. So... I don't really want to do this, but... I never wanted to use it again, but... I don't have a choice. Deep in my heart, I think of it. A glowing fluid pouring into my body and mind. Like oil in a machine. It revolutionizes my being. Just one drop. But that's enough. My vision immediately widens. Normally, when humans focus on something, their vision narrows. I forcibly removed that rule. I can both concentrate and take in more information at the same time. The density of information I process skyrockets. The world looks transparent. Like the resolution increased. Everything happens in slow motion. I move. I predict that three of the flowerpots will crush the toes of a young boy nearby. The boy's looking up, frozen. Anyone would react that way. I had to wipe out that shock with a drop of oil. I grasp the stunned boy and push him out of danger. [Elementary School Boy]: "Th-thank you...?" [Kotarou]: "It's nothing." I leave the confused boy there and leave quickly. A police car shows up. Someone must've called it. ...I don't feel like being interrogated right now. So... I slip into a back alley. [Kotarou]: "Time to start running." I rush home. I'm pretty far from where it happened now. But my uniform stands out. I can't relax yet. [Kotarou]: "Nn..." My enhanced senses are making me uncomfortable. That was all I could do in that instant. My eyes feel numb, kinda like when you read in a poorly lit room and someone turns the lights on without warning. I'm just gonna have to get used to this. It'll take a bit of time before I become superman... [Kotarou]: (I can't go back there, so...) [Kotarou]: "...huh?" This place doesn't end. I look at a telephone pole. There should be an address written on it. [Kotarou]: "...Tatsusato?" I hardly ever have a reason to come to this area. I guess I got lost somehow. [Kotarou]: "...hm?" There's no one here. I'm the only one on this street. I know there were loads of people around when I went in the alley. I go around a random corner. Still no signs of life. Something feels weird. All I did was find an empty street, but... Some otherworldly... After rounding several corners, I bump into a suspicious-looking person. [Kotarou]: "Oooooh..." Crap, I made a weird noise. I walk past him. That hood covers most of his face, so I can't tell if he's a man or a woman. And it wasn't a sweatshirt hood. [Kotarou]: (Why's he wearing a robe?) It looks like something a wizard might wear. Is he dressing up for some reason? I feel like I fell down a rabbit hole somewhere. [Kotarou]: (...is it for some harvest festival event?) It's certainly possible. The harvest festival has enough costumed attendees that it almost feels like Halloween. So I tell myself he must be one of those guys...but then... He stops and stares at me. [Kotarou]: "......!" Something feels wrong, so I quickly round the next corner. [Kotarou]: (I know superpowers are real.) [Kotarou]: (So ghosts, curses, aliens, and UMAs might be too...) It'd be so nice if I could rule out all supernatural phenomena. Then I wouldn't have to be afraid of ghosts anymore. But if even one of them exists... There's no way to know which of the others are real too. That's why I'm interested in that stuff. I need to know for sure. I need to check every single one. I focus on moving my legs. I'm almost jogging now. I realize I'm back on the main street. ...still no people. [Kotarou]: "...mmm." No one's here. No cars pass by. At this time of day, that's just weird. I look up. A gray sky throwing down dull light. Common sense can't explain why there's no sun and no clouds up there. [Kotarou]: "...it's just a coincidence." I just stumbled across a weird moment in time when no people or cars happened to be around. As soon as a single car passes by, I'll know it's fine. Then, a black shadow appears in the corner of my eye. [Kotarou]: "...hm?" I stand still. It's a black dog. Not a person or a car, but at least it's alive. I start to feel reassured, but then doubt covers my heart again. ...it's a very strange dog. It doesn't bark or run around. It just looks at me. It's about thirty meters away. [Kotarou]: (...that thing's huge.) Definitely one of the larger breeds. In and of itself, that's not strange at all. But the fact that he's not on any sort of leash isn't normal. [Kotarou]: (Someone isn't gonna like that...) I move away from the dog. I feel like it'll attack if I run, so I try walking as slow as possible, but I can't stop myself from jogging a little. I turn around after a short while. The dog's about twenty meters behind me. [Kotarou]: "You've gotta be kidding me..." I walk a little farther then check again. Ten meters. The back of my neck is starting to feel numb. The dog's eyes hold no emotion as they gaze at me. Are dogs normally that expressionless? There's no emotion in them at all. And if he sees me as an enemy, he should be barking or growling. Following me silently is just... [Kotarou]: (...I need to shake him.) I turn a corner, and instantly run. I run as fast as I can. I turn another corner right away. I head for the next branch in the road without losing any speed. I change direction as many times as possible to throw him off. [Kotarou]: (How do you like that!?) The dog's standing five meters behind me. He isn't even panting. [Kotarou]: "Wha-..." Five meters. It feels like he's right on top of me. Any four-legged carnivore could leap on me from this distance. [Kotarou]: (...no way.) If he attacks me...what do I do? Will I be able to throw him off? That dog looks like it weighs fifty to sixty kilos. And it should be stronger than a human of the same weight. [Kotarou]: (...I probably can't beat it.) I probably would've gone all out in the past, but I can't do that now. [Kotarou]: (But I can't run either...) It's an animal. It's faster than a human. I search for footholds in my range of vision.

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: (Where...) Calm down... [Kotarou]: (...okay, that should do.) I set my objective. I start moving to the right slowly, hoping the dog won't react. Then the dog takes one step forward. It's definitely after me. I start running, then jump immediately. I leap onto a metal business dumpster on the side of the road. Then use that dumpster to make another jump...! Toward the wall... Come on... Get up there! Yes! I'm on it! I run another few steps along the wall then jump to a second floor window in a nearby building. [Kotarou]: "Dowa!" I freak out as I almost slip off, but I manage to hang onto the window frame. [Kotarou]: (Way too close! ...I would've fallen if I'd missed that.) The window's open. I climb inside. [Kotarou]: "Huu...take that." I look down into the alley. The black dog looks up at me, angrily, but eventually he walks off. [Kotarou]: "What the hell was that thing...?" Anyway, I'm safe for now. When I calm down, something feels off. My thigh is hot for some reason. It's unnatural heat, like a machine was implanted there or something. [Kotarou]: (...did I leave it on?) I ended up using a lot of it with the flowerpots. I must've unconsciously used some more when I was running earlier. That was dumb. This is what happens when I lose my cool. [Kotarou]: (But I might not have made the jump without it...) When I leave the building, I see plenty of people and cars on the street in front of me. [Kotarou]: "...this makes no sense." Was that whole thing a dream? Well, I'm back to my world now. I sigh. By the time I get home, it's dark. There's a note on the table. Apparently my parents came back during the day. Then they left this note before going out again. "To Kotarou. We won't be coming home for a while. Take care of the house. Mom and Dad." [Kotarou]: "'Kay." This is normal. Because they work such terrible hours, I get to live however I want. No complaints. [Kotarou]: (If they just gave a bit more allowance...) I find some stuff in the fridge that wasn't there this morning, so I have that for dinner. ...and now, it's time for bed. I thought about sleeping in another room, but using my parents' bedroom would just be weird, and the living room is so big it feels even more vulnerable to spectral attacks. Curling up in my own blanket is the most reassuring option. For some reason my blanket feels like it'd ward off ghosts. I decide to sleep with the lights and TV on. My only means of resistance... Ghosts probably don't like bright, lively places. Darkness is dangerous. Darkness makes more of them appear (in video games). I've never slept with the lights on before, but I have to try it. [Kotarou]: "Okaaay, let's sleep! ...haha..." [Kotarou]: "I'm gonna have fun dreams and there's nothing you can do about it..." I hit the hay as cheerfully as I can. The lights and TV turn off. [Kotarou]: "Hii!?" I leap out of bed, stick to the wall, and flick the switch several times. It won't work. A blackout? Did a fuse blow? It can't be a ghost...right? Did they just trap me in the dark? A locked room, in the darkness...that's a bad combination. [Kotarou]: "Th-that'll make the darkness even more powerful!?" I can't stay here! I try to escape to the hallway, but the door won't open. *click!* *click!* [Kotarou]: "Ooouu!" [Kotarou]: "Open up damn it!" Why won't you open!? I know 8-bit games do this all the time, but―! [Kotarou]: "Open! Save me! Kotoriii!!" I seek help from a girl in my terror. I scream as loud as I can, but no one comes to help. Of course not. No one else is here. Even in ghost movies, people usually get attacked after being locked up somewhere by themselves. [Kotarou]: "Okanda!" I try to say "Okay, the veranda!" but my tongue moves too fast. I leap toward the glass door on the other side of the room. I'm on the second floor, but I can jump down from here. It won't open no matter how hard I pull. It won't even shake! It's like it's frozen. [Kotarou]: "Then I'll have to...!" I pick up a chair and swing it against the glass. It feels like I hit a solid wall of diamond. The recoil makes me stagger. And the glass didn't break at all. [Kotarou]: "A spectral field!?" There's no doubt in my mind that strong spectral barriers can repel any physical attack. I've seen it a lot in horror movies. Kicking them or hitting them with a bat won't do a thing. The most violent or reckless types get killed first. They get locked in spectral terror rooms. [Kotarou]: "...!" It seems like everything suddenly got darker. I can feel the ghost preparing to attack me. [Kotarou]: "...no." Suddenly the lights come on. [Kotarou]: (...the ghost...missed his chance...?) Or maybe it was just a blackout. [Kotarou]: "That's right..." [Kotarou]: "Ghosts aren't real..." My room is covered with footprints. Including the ceiling and walls. As if someone walked all around the room with muddy feet. No human can walk on walls like that. [Kotarou]: ".........I have a really strong sixth sense." I recite a line I think I've heard somewhere before, then faint.

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "I don't see anyone around, so I shouldn't have to worry about being seen." [Kotarou]: (Something's not right...is this alley supposed to be this long?) [Kotarou]: (It still looks familiar...) [Kotarou]: (I'm not seeing anyone at all...) [Kotarou]: (There has to be someone else here at this time of day...this is no ghost town.) [Kotarou]: (Something doesn't feel right...)

<METADATA> Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> October 7th (Thursday) [Kotori]: "You look sad." [Kotarou]: "I'm disheartened..." [Kotarou]: "And I haven't slept enough." [Kotori]: "You haven't?" [Kotarou]: "I guess fainting doesn't count." We're talking about last night. It was a terrifying experience, but when I woke up this morning, all the footprints were gone. ...it's getting to the point where I can't pass these things off as dreams. [Kotori]: "It's weird." [Kotori]: "I even planted herbs on your balcony that help people sleep easier." [Kotarou]: "The ones outside my bedroom? They can do that?" [Kotori]: "Relaxation, humidification, air purifying, and psychological effects." [Kotori]: "The arrangement I used is meant to provide all of those benefits." [Kotarou]: "But I always close the window to keep the cold air out..." [Kotori]: "I made sure that wouldn't stop it from working." [Kotori]: "If even the slightest quantity slips into the room, it'll still have a definite effect on people..." [Kotarou]: "Sounds like poison gas." My veranda is filled with little gardens Kotori made for fun. She's really into gardening. She borrowed my parent's money to get the best possible plants. She even imported expensive herbs and gardening tools. [Kotori]: "Some of those herbs are really strong, you know." [Kotarou]: "Aren't the effects we're talking about too mild to be noticable half the time?" [Kotori]: "No." [Kotarou]: "Kotori, please don't put strange plants like that in my house..." [Kotori]: "It's fine as long as you don't bite them when they're dry!" [Kotarou]: "Bite?" [Kotori]: "Though there are some scary cacti and dangerous morning glories." [Kotori]: "Actually most morning glories are dangerous..." [Kotarou]: "You're starting to scare me..." [Kotori]: "It's an original blend. This is important." [Kotori]: "Also, it only works if you combine them in just the right way." [Kotori]: "It's the only garden of its kind in the world, and it's just for you, Kotarou-kun." [Kotori]: "And I got a lot of new stuff recently." [Kotori]: "I'll be bringing things over sometime." [Kotori]: "Is there anything you'd like me to do with them? Anything from dispelling anxiety to sedation, I can do." [Kotarou]: "Okay, anti-ghost herbs." [Kotori]: "Don't have 'em." [Kotori]: "And why ghosts? Is that the "in" thing now?" [Kotarou]: "It's not that..." [Kotori]: "Kotarou-kun, you really do love strange things." [Kotori]: "Like UFO's and superpowers and clairvoyants." [Kotarou]: "Well, it's more that I'm curious..." [Kotarou]: "...but ghosts are just bad." [Kotori]: "Did you meet one?" [Kotarou]: "...I'm not sure." I tell her everything that happened. [Kotori]: "...can I see that hand mark?" [Kotarou]: "It's already disappeared, even though it stuck around for a while..." [Kotori]: "Hmmmm." [Kotori]: "Why not ask a professional exorcist?" [Kotarou]: "That sounds really fishy. How much do they charge?" [Kotori]: "No idea..." [Kotori]: "But maybe the witch would know something." [Kotarou]: "Ah, you're right..." [Kotarou]: "There's a witch in this school." [Kotori]: "But she hasn't contacted us." [Kotarou]: "Should we look for her again?" [Kotori]: "Want my help?" [Kotarou]: "Nah, I'm just gonna go to that room." [Kotori]: "Okay." [Kotori]: "Quick bathroom break." [Kotarou]: (Still...) [Kotarou]: (This is happening a lot lately...) Far too many things have happened. Maybe there's a reason for all of this... I can't help but entertain such absurd thoughts. [Kotarou]: (...the witch of the school.) I hope she can give me some ideas. Oh, Ohtori's here. [Kotarou]: "Hey, Ohtori. You know if you translate Ultraman literally you get "Extremely Man?"" [Ohtori]: "I guess, but why are you...?" [Kotarou]: ""An Extreme Man?"" [Ohtori]: "It doesn't matter." The teacher arrives, and homeroom begins. Yoshino shows up just a split-second late, as if he'd done it on purpose. [Teacher]: "Come on, Yoshino-kun, don't be late." Another day begins... Break time. Come to think of it, today's reader had some Japanese translation homework. [Kotarou]: "Crap...I haven't done it." Better get this done fast. The first sentence is "私は在宅中". It means "I am currently at home," or "I'm at home," something along those lines. This is annoying. I should just copy someone... I look around. Ohtori's focusing intently on it. ...come to think of it, how good is she at school? [Kotarou]: "Ohtoriii, show me your homewooork." [Ohtori]: "No. Do it yourself." [Kotarou]: "It's fine." I glance at her notebook. [English Sentence]: "I'm home." [Japanese Sentence]: "I am a house." No words can describe this. [Kotarou]: "Sorry, never mind." She's an idiot. [Ohtori]: "Wh-what was that about!?" This time I try looking at Yoshino's notebook, since he seems to have wandered off somewhere. [Kotarou]: "Yoshino...I doubt you've actually done your homework, but this is my last hope..." I rummage through his desk. ...there. Somehow I'm surprised he even has a notebook. The miracles continue. He's done his homework. [Kotarou]: "Let's see..." [English Sentence]: "I'm home." [Japanese Sentence]: "I'm a home." I can't say I was expecting much better. [Kotarou]: "He's not even trying..." [Ohtori]: "Uwaaaa..." Ohtori looks at it too. [Kotarou]: "You're really not one to talk." [Ohtori]: "S-so rude...I did better than this at least!" [Kotarou]: "But still..." [Ohtori]: "Fine, you can look at mine." She opens up her notebook. But the first sentence still says "I am a house..." [Kotarou]: "Hm?" I look farther down. These look right. [Kotarou]: "I see..." [Ohtori]: "See?" She sounds proud. *scribble* *scribble* *scribble* I decide to copy her. [Ohtori]: "Ah! Wh-what are you doing!?"

<METADATA> Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "Copying your answers so I can see if they match mine." [Ohtori]: "Huh?" [Ohtori]: "Wait, you don't need to copy them to do that! You're just being lazy!" [Kotarou]: "If I don't at least fill it in, it'll be a pain when they ask me to hand it in..." [Ohtori]: "That's why you do it at home." Incidentally, the parts Ohtori was doing really are just prep work for class. [Kotarou]: "I see. You're a very productive student. I even feel respect for you." [Ohtori]: "...changing your attitude that quickly makes it feel weird." [Kotarou]: "But the first sentence is supposed to say something like "I'm at home..."" [Ohtori]: "Huh?" [Kotarou]: "Here's a dictionary." [Ohtori]: "Th-th-thank you...umm...zai, zai...and..." *scribble* *scribble* *scribble* [Ohtori]: "...wow...I should've checked that one..." [Kotarou]: "Yeah." [Ohtori]: "Actually...I think I did that here too..." *scribble* *scribble* *scribble* *scribble* *scribble* [Ohtori]: "Wait, what are you doing!!?" [Kotarou]: "Okay, I'm done. Thanks." [Ohtori]: "I am not okay with what you just did!" [Kotarou]: "It's fine, you helped me out." [Ohtori]: "Doing your work for you isn't 'help'." [Ohtori]: "...oh well, I guess it's not important..." [Kotarou]: "Also, you got this idiom wrong." [Ohtori]: "Eeeh!?" She translated some of the lines way too literally. [Kotarou]: "See? Aren't you glad you showed it to me? Scratch my back and I scratch yours." [Ohtori]: "If you're so good at this why didn't you do it yourself?" [Kotarou]: "It's fine, it's fine." I'm just busy. Oh well...I'd probably get them all wrong anyway. Lunch break. Today I'm going to have lunch at the cafeteria. But my plans have been thwarted. The cafeteria is too crowded. That was dumb. Apparently this is the big day. Apparently our school's kitchen is run by a chef who once held the title of pâtissier. Sometimes he makes use of that wealth of experience to produce luxurious desserts far beyond what any normal cafeteria would offer. [Kotarou]: "What is it?" [Kotarou]: "Meal A is mackerel miso. Meal B is chūkadon. The special meal is a luxury fruit parfait." [Kotarou]: "It's chaos as usual." [Kotarou]: "But it's much more forgivable than that time they offered a dried horse mackerel nattō meal and a pudding à la mode combination platter." [Kotarou]: "At least today they aren't being made with the same machines..." Although the sight of girls looking for empty seats with chūkadon and parfaits on their trays is rather surreal... A boorish and unrefined bowl of assorted rice vegetables, meat and mushrooms, alongside the sweet, sweet harmony of a delicately crafted parfait overflowing with girliness...? No! Absolutely not! Mixing them is dangerous. Do you want to fill the cafeteria with poison gas? Please, anything to make the master craftsman behind that parfait think a little harder about balancing his menus... Though his stuff definitely tastes great. There's no doubt he's as good as they say. Which is why, on days when he offers special desserts, the girls push forth in great numbers and form a terrifying crowd. [Kotarou]: "Well this sucks. I'm gonna have trouble just finding a seat." And then I encounter a familiar face. [Kotarou]: "Oh, Yoshino. You're eating here too?" [Yoshino]: "Hmph. What a coincidence." [Kotarou]: "And you've even secured us seats!" [Kotarou]: "You saved this seat for me, didn't you!?" [Yoshino]: "Why would I save a seat for the likes of you...?" [Yoshino]: "Don't even talk to me. You'll make my food taste bad." [Kotarou]: "But you did save this seat for me, didn't you?" [Kotarou]: "You're my friend at heart!" [Yoshino]: "Shut up! I'm no friend at heart!" [Yoshino]: "Get out before my food goes moldy." He slams a cup of water down on the table, so hard the fluid almost leaps out. The nearby students all look at us. Okay, okay, perfect. No one's gonna want to sit in front of this guy after seeing him pound the table angrily. My seat is secured. I have my seat thanks to him, so I'd better thank him later. [Old Woman]: "Okay, next～" [Old Woman]: "Oh, if it isn't Kotarou-chan." [Kotarou]: "Hello, young lady. It's a beautiful day today. What do you recommend?" [Old Woman]: "Uhuhu! Kotarou-chan, you're such a charmer!" [Old Woman]: "How about some chūkadon? I'll give you an extra large portion!" [Old Woman]: "And the parfait today is amazing! You should really have one." [Kotarou]: "That sounds good. A parfait and an extra large chūkadon, please." [Kotarou]: "If you give me some quail too, I'll go on a date with you." [Old Woman]: "Uhuhu! I just can't take this." [Old Woman]: "Here you go! Extra large chūkadon." [Old Woman]: "Now the parfait. You'll have to wait a minute." [Old Woman]: "It's really popular, so no matter how fast we make them we're always a bit behind." Apparently they make a ton in advance to help with that, but against numbers like this such stock would vanish in no time. I guess I have to sit here and wait for it, but maybe it's worth it to have one fresh. ......mm? That's right. I still have to thank Yoshino for helping me secure my seat... [Old Woman]: "Hey, pâtissier! We need another parfait out here～!" [Old Woman]: "Kotarou-chan's being good today so make it as big as possible～!" [Kotarou]: "Ah, wait a sec, Oba-chan." [Kotarou]: "I have a special order to make. Is that okay?" [Old Woman]: "Sorry, but I don't think we can make a parfait bigger than this." [Old Woman]: "It's gigantic to begin with after all...!" [Kotarou]: "No, not that." [Kotarou]: "......*whisper* *whisper*" I receive the special luxury fruit parfait and return to the seat Yoshino's guarding for me. I set down the parfait in front of me and slide it toward Yoshino, like a curling stone. [Yoshino]: "......what are you doing?" [Kotarou]: "This is for the guest of honor." [Kotarou]: "Don't worry, I'm treating you to this. *sparkle*"

<METADATA> Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> I play the parts of the western barkeeper and the unnamed gunman perfectly, winking and giving him a thumbs up. [Yoshino]: "Screw you. Who would eat something you bought for them?" [Yoshino]: "You've obviously put some kind of poison into it." [Yoshino]: "I can see through all your tricks!" After saying that, Yoshino slides the parfait off to the side. It ends up sliding smoothly all the way down the table, past several other people eating their lunch. Quite the bizarre sight. How dare he! That's my special order parfait! The bright red strawberry jam is actually ultra-hot habanero sauce. My special parfait, filled with wasabi and mustard and every kind of pepper on the planet...!! Damn you Yoshino. You have some good instincts. How could you tell? Are you still mad about that jalapeño almond tofu I made you eat? I head several seats down to retrieve the parfait, apologize to everyone along the way, then return to Yoshino. [Kotarou]: "Okay, that's not an accusation I can ignore." [Kotarou]: "How are you gonna make it up to me if there actually isn't any poison in here?" [Yoshino]: "What do I care? I'm not taking charity from you if it kills me." [Kotarou]: "I can't back down after hearing that." [Kotarou]: "All right, let's battle." [Yoshino]: "......battle?" [Kotarou]: "I will have a bite of this parfait." [Kotarou]: "If it's poisoned, I'll die!" [Kotarou]: "But if I'm perfectly fine...!" [Kotarou]: "Then after you get down on your hands and knees and apologize to the great Kotarou-sama, I will let you eat this entire thing!" [Kotarou]: "How about that!?" [Yoshino]: "You think I'll fall for that?" [Yoshino]: "You're just gonna eat a part that isn't poisoned and pretend it's all fine!" [Yoshino]: "I see through all your lies!" [Kotarou]: "Oh-ho. Then I'll have to eat more than one bite." [Kotarou]: "What if I eat a whole third of it?" [Kotarou]: "If nothing happens after I eat that much, you have to eat the rest. Do you accept!?" I want to make Yoshino eat this über-spicy parfait so badly! I wanna see Yoshino stand up, scream for water and writhe around on the floor! But my enemy is cautious. It seems I cannot break his bones without being willing to cut my own flesh. If I can eat a third, I'll still make Yoshino eat two thirds. I'll take less damage. And I can mentally prepare myself for this, while Yoshino can't. I can handle this. But Yoshino should be caught off-guard. I want to get a third of this down and make Yoshino have the rest! ......but this parfait is so spicy it feels like it'll melt my spoon when I try to eat it. Maybe......I'm digging my own grave......? No...no pain, no gain! Do not fear a third of this beast. I shall eat. I shall eat it! Believe in yourself. Believe! This is a sweet, delicious parfait. It is sweet and delicious! [Yoshino]: "Why is your face going all red and sweaty over eating a parfait?" [Kotarou]: "Nothing, I just have a weird illness called sweatinfrontofparfaitis." [Yoshino]: "Then die." I taste-tested this parfait with my little finger when I got it, so I know how spicy it is. A whole third of it...... No, don't be afraid, fight the spiciness...! Believe in the sweetness...! I've been told the human senses can be easily manipulated into behaving differently. Take that to its logical extreme, and it means we have total control over our subjective sensibility. It's sweet, it's sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, this parfait is sweet...! I've decided it must be so, therefore this parfait is sweeeet...!! Uuuoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! [Kotarou]: "Wh-what...the......?" This can't be...it's supposed to be an extremely concentrated super-spicy parfait... [Yoshino]: "Come clean already. What poison did you put in there?" [Yoshino]: "Laxatives? Arsenic? Potassium Cyanide?" [Kotarou]: "......wouldn't the last two be kinda bad?" [Kotarou]: "But still......what's going on?" This is so......delicious. The cream and strawberry sauce melts gently on my tongue, creating a shangri-la of extreme sweetness... But that can't be right! This thing was spicy as hell when I tasted it! It's covered and immersed and chocked full of the spiciest ingredients hell has to offer! At best you'd be taken away in an ambulance, and if you ate too much you'd be in a hearse. That's how spicy it is!! And yet, it's delicious... [Kotarou]: "It can't be..." [Kotarou]: "Does spicy food become sweet after passing a certain threshold!?" [Kotarou]: "I might have discovered a revolutionary new culinary technique..." No, no, that can't be right. Think rationally. This can't be true! Let's retrace our steps. I slid the super spicy parfait toward Yoshino. Then Yoshino slid it down the table... ......wait. And then, my gray matter informs me of the truth. That's it! The murderer did a bait and switch on himself without even realizing it! The parfait Yoshino slid to one side ended up in front of a girl who ordered her own parfait... [Kotarou]: "They got switched...!?" [Kotarou]: "No! You, over there!! Don't eat that parfaaaaaaaaait!!" An unfortunate girl whose parfait became super spicy without her knowledge. Coincidentally, I know her name. And, well, she knows me too. Our eyes meet. She's taken aback, glaring at me for screaming hysterically just as she was about to enjoy her delightful dessert. Her face also has an unsatisfied expression, as if wondering if there's something on her face. [Schoolgirl]: "......wh-what is it, Tennouji Kotarou?" [Kotarou]: "N-nothing, nothing at all." [Schoolgirl]: "Having you stare at me so much while I eat is disturbing." [Schoolgirl]: "P-please go away." Apparently she was embarrassed to make eye contact with me while her cheeks were stuffed full of parfait. Her face turns bright red as her expression becomes angry. [Kotarou]: "......no way." I wasn't being overpowered by class rep's aura or anything. ......I said that because she's already flattened half the parfait. [Kotarou]: "H-how can you eat that...?" [Kotarou]: "Even a toothpick's worth of that super spicy parfait can kill a hundred people!!" [Schoolgirl]: "I-is is it that strange......th-that I am eating a parfait?" [Kotarou]: "No, that's not strange, not at all." [Kotarou]: "Please enjoy the rest of your dessert..."

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Konohana Lucia | Gender: Female | Aliases: Class Rep Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male </METADATA> When she swings her fist, it has the same effect and power as the firing hammer in a gun. I've seen many boys fall to the floor after disobeying her or skipping their cleaning duties... Her name is Konohana Lucia. She's an exemplary class rep burning with a passion for justice, which means she's always telling us what to do and hitting us. Every school comes equipped with at least one standard type-88 violent class rep girl. I'm not particularly close to her or anything, but I can't let her die instead of Yoshino! [Lucia]: "......*chomp* *chomp*......*chomp* *chomp*" Though she should be dead already. She's already eaten over half of that super spicy lethal hell parfait!! Why does she look so unmoved, so happy when eating that thing!? [Kotarou]: (O-oba-chan...what's going on!?) [Old Woman]: (I have no idea...! I put the whole bottle into that thing!!) Upon eye contact, the lunch lady holds an empty bottle of hot sauce upside down as proof. That's right, I even tasted it, so I know how spicy it is! And yet, she's demolishing it with such a happy look on her face... *lick* *lick* *smack* *smack* *munch* *munch* *bam!* Her parfait glass flies toward me and embeds itself in my face. [Lucia]: "......i-is it that comical...w-watching me eat a parfait...?" [Kotarou]: "No, not comical, it's just unbelievable..." [Lucia]: "Me eating a parfait is such a strange thought you cannot bring yourself to believe it...?" [Kotarou]: "No, no, don't make it sound like a criticism or anything." [Kotarou]: "But any princess would tell you to go back to the forest after seeing that." [Lucia]: "T-Tennouji Kotaroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooou...!!" Her face goes red from rage and shame as she begins quivering. Apparently she thinks eating a parfait somehow destroys her image of being a strict class rep. But that aside, what on earth... First, the lunch lady made a super spicy parfait, and gave it to me. I taste-tested it immediately. It was in fact super spicy. Then that parfait got swapped for Lucia's. That's why the parfait I ate was so sweet. Just like any normal one. But even after eating what should be a super spicy parfait, she's completely unmoved. [Kotarou]: "...this is the only way...to resolve the mystery!" I grab the parfait glass rolling around in front of me, and lick some of the cream on the rim. ......uu... [Kotarou]: "Uuuuuoooooooooooooooo! *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough!!*" [Kotarou]: "P-pleaaaaaaaase, someone, water, lots of it, oooooooooooooooooooooooo!!" [Lucia]: "Ah............hiii...!" Upon seeing me writhe around on the floor, she lets out a short scream. Normally one might follow that up by shouting "Someone call an ambulance!", but... She turned red and started to shake again from rage and shock and shame. Her face implied she'd just seen something unbelievable. [Lucia]: "F-...filthy, filthy, filthy, filthy...I can't believe it, I can't!" [Lucia]: "I-I-I-I'd just eaten that...and you licked it...filthy filthy filthy pervert pervert pervert! Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!" [Kotarou]: "Stop, class rep, I can explain. I'm not into licking girls' plates or anything." [Kotarou]: "Do I look like the kind of guy who'd go after your half-eaten parfait to get an indirect kiss?" [Kotarou]: "Okay, fine, I do. Sorry about that." [Kotarou]: "I can read the words "guilty" and "locked on" in your eyes, next to my reflection." [Kotarou]: "It's too late to apologize, right? I understand. Wait, am I going to die? H-hang on, I really can explain this......" [Lucia]: "Die! Pervert pervert pervert...!! You filthy animal! Enemy to all women!! Tennouji Kotarooooooooooooooooooooooou...!!" I wonder if intimidating people through public executions really reduces crime... If so, then she'll be able to protect our class as long as her eyes are black. Come to think of it, I've heard that class rep is a bit of a clean freak. Having a boy lick something she ate out of must feel as disgusting as having a bucket of caterpillars thrown at you. Apparently she even dislikes touching things with her bare hands. The whole time she was eating, and even now as she lands a gorgeous air combo on me, she continues wearing those white cotton gloves. Aaah, I see, that's to keep my blood from getting on her hands. Staining her white gloves red... ......hmmm, it's poetic. But also lethal. Four digit numbers like 9999 fly out several times, showing the damage caused by each blow. Only after receiving enough damage to insta-kill any RPG's final boss, do I get released... [Yoshino]: "Disgrace to men. Keep crawling down there until you die." [Kotarou]: "......Yoshino, are there any rumors about her being good with spicy food?" [Yoshino]: "I heard once that she downed a whole plate of extra-hot curry which no normal girl could handle." [Kotarou]: "N-no, I don't mean something as ordinary as hot curry." [Kotarou]: "Something more terrifying...no, something that would qualify as a mythically spicy food. Anything like that?" [Yoshino]: "How should I know? Not intruding on women's secrets is a virtue of men." [Yoshino]: "Farewell, pervert. And die while you're down there." Yoshino stands up after saying something arrogant. I see. So class rep has a ridiculously high tolerance for spicy food... But that super spicy parfait is so powerful that, like a certain alien's bodily fluids, a single drop of it could melt a hole in the floor...!! How could she enjoy eating something like that!? No ordinary tongue is capable of such a feat...... [Kotarou]: "D-damn you...class rep...Konohana Lucia......you killed me, Tennouji Kotarou, before I could even change into my final form..." [Kotarou]: "I will repay you for this someday. I will defeat that tongue of yours, whatever it takes!" Unfortunately I said all those things out loud, so the girls nearby look at me even more coldly than before. I'm going to have to endure being "the guy who licked a girl's glass" for a while... After the commotion in the cafeteria, I head for the club room. [Kotarou]: "Excuse me!" The lock is still broken. And there's still no one here. Did she see my note? I approach the desk. [Kotarou]: "Ah..." The note I left is gone. In its place is... "You will die in two days." ...written in blood.

<METADATA> Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> And in the bottom right corner is a cute smiling manga-style face, also made with blood. [Kotarou]: "Hieeeeeeeeeh!?" This is no joke. I hurriedly add a new note. I tell her that lots of weird things have been happening to me lately, and that I really want her help. Especially with ghosts. [Kotarou]: (This is bad...I've incurred the witch's wrath...) I have to contact her directly somehow. Nothing else can happen until then. [Kotarou]: (Should I look for her after school...?) [Kotarou]: "No, I don't have that kind of time. I should use my break period..." I check again during break period, but the Occult Club room is still empty. However, this time there's an A4-size piece of paper on the table. It wasn't there before. The witch has definitely been here. [Kotarou]: "...it's for me." It looks like an answer sheet for a test. But on closer inspection, it's a questionnaire. All the text is written in blood. It's even in a horror-esque font (I think this is Light Kointai). I can't tell if this was printed out, handwritten, or manifested by supernatural forces, but it looks quite involved. My name has already been filled in. [Kotarou]: "...guess she wants me to answer this." I pick up a pen and face the questionnaire. Question 1: Is your life easier than it was last year? A) Yes B) No [Kotarou]: (No, it's not. B.) Question 2: Answer if you chose B for Question 1. Do you think next year will be better than this year? [Kotarou]: (Next year...umm, I'll be in my third year, prepping for exams...doubt I'll be able to hold down a job...I won't have much time at all, actually...) [Kotarou]: (B again.) Question 3: Have you purchased cold drinking water during the first six months of this year? Indicate which of the stores listed below you bought some at. [Kotarou]: "What's the point of this question...?" Something's very wrong with this questionnaire. But I should still finish it. [Kotarou]: (...I drank this...and this...) The time-consuming questions continue. I fill them in half-heartedly. Question 15: Have you ever felt there was something strange about your body, not counting obvious diseases, injuries, and malaise? [Kotarou]: (Hmm...) Maybe this one's meant to help her figure out whether my body attracts otherworldly creatures. If so, I should probably tell her about my ghost problems. There was that mark on my wrist, not to mention those footprints. I put A for yes. Question 16: How much money have you spent on clothing during the first six months of this year? Also, please mark any of the stores listed below that you frequent. [Kotarou]: "...dammit, I can't figure out what she's looking for!" I fill them in anyway. Clothing, food, health, recreation. It's the most incoherent questionnaire imaginable. [Kotarou]: (How many pages does this thing have...?) It has as many pages as a small pamphlet. Question 25. This is the last one. And it's a slightly odd one. Question 25: You have power, and you are dissatisfied with the world. Would you want to change the world? Or would you want to change yourself? [Kotarou]: "We're doing a psych exam now?" [Kotarou]: (Change either the world...or myself...) This feels like a really important choice... Hmm... If I had real power, then I'd probably use it to change the world. Politicians, entrepreneurs and revolutionaries have all sorts of powers. And they expend all of that energy on changing the world around them. No single person can do very much that way. But someone has to take action before a revolution can happen. Someone has to take the first steps. That feels right to me. If I had real power, then I'd probably use it to change myself. If I change, I might be able to accept the world the way it is. And I might end up influencing the world anyway after getting stronger. After all, we all know happiness is something you have to take hold of yourself. I like thinking that way. This question feels too heavy for me. I can't answer it. But I can give an honest opinion. Changing the world and changing myself both feel terrifying. I can't even think what would happen if I tried. That's probably the best explanation. [Kotarou]: "Okay." I've answered all the questions. I put all the pages back in order, and line up their corners. [Kotarou]: "That should do it..." Hopefully this changes things in a positive direction... Now, after school. [Ohtori]: "Kotarou." [Ohtori]: "I-I'm talking to you!" [Kotarou]: "Ah, I know." She called me Kotarou. When did that happen? [Kotarou]: "So what is it..." Ummm...what's Ohtori's full name again? Crap, I wanna surprise her by using her first name too, but I forgot it. [Kotarou]: "...Ohtori-san?" [Ohtori]: "Why are you pausing so much?" [Kotarou]: "Various internal conflicts..." [Ohtori]: "Huh? Okay..." [Kotarou]: "What is it?" [Ohtori]: "...never mind." She heads for the door... [Kotori]: "Bye-bye, Kota-san." [Kotarou]: "Huh? You're leaving already, Kotori?" [Kotori]: "Yeah...things to do." [Ohtori]: "...ah." [Ohtori]: "Ummmm..." [Kotori]: "Hm?" [Kotarou]: "I think she wants to say goodbye to you, Kotori." [Ohtori]: "Don't tell her that! I was gonna do it!" [Kotori]: "Hm? Ohtori-san...bye." [Ohtori]: "G-goodbye...Kotori-san." [Kotori]: "Eh?" Kotori falls victim to the second first name attack. Hardly anyone addresses Kotori that way, so she becomes confused. [Kotarou]: "Come on, Kotori-san, she said "Goodbye, Kotori-san." You have to do yours over now." [Kotori]: "Ummm...Chihaya-san?" [Ohtori]: "Yes." Aaah, so that's her name. [Kotori]: "Bye, Chi-chan." That was pretty awkward, but they did exchange names successfully. I think those two might get along well... And that's about it for today. [Kotarou]: "...bye now." I feel a twinkle of hope as I set off for home. [Kotarou]: "So, Kotori, you going home?" [Kotori]: "Yeah, sorry." [Kotarou]: "What am I going to do all day..." [Kotori]: "Ah, why not show Chi-chan around town?" [Ohtori]: "Ah, yeah, that's right. Kotarou even suggested that yesterday, so now would be a perfect time." [Kotarou]: "Only if you fix that attitude." [Ohtori]: "Eh? Eeeeeh!?" She's still talking like she's better than me. [Kotori]: "...by the way, Kotarou-san." [Kotarou]: "Yes?" [Kotori]: "She's calling you Kotarou." [Kotarou]: "And?"

<METADATA> Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> [Kotori]: "Oh-ho." [Kotori]: "Then I'd better leave you two alone." [Kotori]: "Bye, Chi-chan." [Ohtori]: "Ah, yes, goodbye." [Kotarou]: "Hey, what's that supposed to mean!?" Is she after a scandalous rumor about the loner and the transfer student becoming fast friends? No, most of our classmates have lost interest in her, and Ohtori sticks out just as much as I do. [Kotarou]: "Aaah, fine..." That's the most annoying part. [Kotarou]: "Hmmmm." Well, that probably won't happen. More importantly, why don't we try to find a way for her and Kotori to get along? Bringing all the outcasts together might not be so bad. [Kotarou]: "Then Kotori would have no trouble getting a partner in PE class..." [Ohtori]: "What?" [Kotarou]: "Okay, let's go." I grab my bag and head for the door. [Kotarou]: "You're not coming? Transfer Student Ohtori-san?" [Ohtori]: "Ah, coming!" Ah, this is kinda like... It's like she's actually glad someone wants to hang out with her. I think it's best to have as many people like that as possible...especially for a girl. ...having at least one friend is definitely better than none. Ohtori and I leave school together. ...I can't tell if people are watching us or if I'm just being paranoid. [Kotarou]: (No...) They probably aren't, actually. I'm just conscious of the fact that I'm doing something that might get people's attention. [Ohtori]: "W-wait up! Don't go so fast!!" [Kotarou]: "Ah, sorry." Ohtori's still getting her shoes on. [Kotarou]: "Not that I care, but try not to fall." [Ohtori]: "Y-you don't have to worry about that!" [Kotarou]: "But you keep doing it..." [Ohtori]: "It's just bad luck!" She finishes and walks over to me. [Ohtori]: "Hm-hmm～" She sounds proud. [Kotarou]: "Haa..." [Ohtori]: "What's that deep sigh supposed to mean!?" Come on... We leave the building and head for the front gate. And Ohtori doesn't follow for some reason. I turn around, and find her going in the opposite direction... [Kotarou]: "Heeeey!" I dash back to her. [Ohtori]: "Ah, wh-what?" [Kotarou]: "Listen, Ohtori...maybe your eyes have clouded over so much you can't see it, but..." [Ohtori]: "That's kind of insulting you know..." [Kotarou]: "The front gate's that way." [Ohtori]: "Yes, I know." [Kotarou]: "So you aren't trying to leave school?" [Ohtori]: "I am, but..." [Ohtori]: "I came on a bike." [Ohtori]: "That's how I get to school." [Kotarou]: "I see...that would explain not heading for the gates." [Ohtori]: "Exactly. I wish you wouldn't jump to conclusions, Kotarou." [Kotarou]: "But the bike parking area is in the other direction." You have to head toward the gate before turning into it. [Kotarou]: "I wish you wouldn't keep going the wrong way, Ohtori-san!" Now I have my revenge. [Ohtori]: "Uuu..." [Ohtori]: "...I hate you because you keep talking like that!" [Kotarou]: "Well good for you. Let's head our separate ways then." [Ohtori]: "Eeeh...?" ...and now she acts incredibly disappointed for some reason. [Kotarou]: "...I'm kidding." I know I'm partly in the wrong for saying those things in this situation. [Kotarou]: "Come on, no sulking. Let's get going." [Ohtori]: "...fine." Normally we'd have gotten in a fight and walked away by now. We've got a really weird relationship here. Ohtori brings her bike over. [Kotarou]: "I see. Not a bad-looking road bike." The basket is, like most in this city, made of rattan. The body is sparkling, with no signs of wear. It's probably brand new. [Ohtori]: "Let's go." [Kotarou]: "Wait, what about me?" [Ohtori]: "Can't you just run?" [Kotarou]: "...who's showing who around exactly?" [Ohtori]: "I'd like to go out to the rural areas." [Kotarou]: "Ahahaa..." [Kotarou]: "I'm going home." [Ohtori]: "Eeeeeh!? B-but we just got here!!" [Kotarou]: "How many kilometers do you want me to run?" [Ohtori]: "Uu..." [Kotarou]: "Oh well, guess we have to...hmm, this might be a bit tricky..." [Ohtori]: "Hya!" I straddle the back of Ohtori's bike. There's nothing important in my bookbag, so I use it in place of a cushion. [Kotarou]: "Okay, let's go before anyone starts gossiping about this!!" [Ohtori]: "Wh-what?" [Ohtori]: "Ah! N-not that I mind or anything!" [Kotarou]: "Hm?" [Ohtori]: "...c-could you try not to lean against me...?" [Kotarou]: "Ah, sorry." I back up a bit. [Kotarou]: "Once again, let's go!!" [Ohtori]: "U-ummm..." *shake* *shake* *thud* I immediately fall off. [Kotarou]: "That plan's out." [Ohtori]: "What on earth was that!?" [Kotarou]: "Well...I figured with your strength, going at 70 km/h would be effortless..." [Ohtori]: "I can't do that!" [Ohtori]: "Besides, riding like this is just..." [Kotarou]: "Hmm..." [Kotarou]: "Okay, let's swap." [Ohtori]: "Huh?" [Kotarou]: "Come on, sit behind me." [Ohtori]: "H-haa..." [Ohtori]: "Wait, isn't this...?" [Kotarou]: "Use it as a cushion. Don't worry." [Ohtori]: "...if you say so." It's already flat anyway. She tries straddling it, but something bothers her, so she sits sideways instead. [Kotarou]: "You can sit like that if you want, but it'll make balancing harder so be careful." [Ohtori]: "No, never mind..." [Kotarou]: "Geh, a teacher on patrol!" [Ohtori]: "What?" [Kotarou]: "Okaaay! Let's get out of here before he sees us." [Ohtori]: "We could just walk down past him and then..." [Kotarou]: "Full speeeeeeeed!!!" I stomp down on the front pedal. I'm the type who changes personalities when I grip handlebars of some kind. [Ohtori]: "Wa, waa!?" There's a gentle slope from the bike parking area to the gate. We gain speed quickly.

<METADATA> Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> We ride through the front gate. [Kotarou]: "Here we go! We're gonna go all the way down!!" [Ohtori]: "A-all the waaay!?" [Kotarou]: "Don't worry! Leave it to me!!" [Ohtori]: "Leave what to you!? Anyway, you're going too fast!!!" [Kotarou]: "I'm not going fast enough!" We reach the downhill part. [Ohtori]: "B-b-b-b-brake! Use the brake!" [Kotarou]: "Aaaaah? What? I can't hear you." [Ohtori]: "W-we're falling! We're falling!" [Kotarou]: "Oooh! Hang on tight!!" [Ohtori]: "That's not gonna help!!!" [Kotarou]: "Uwaaahahahaha!! Behold the daredevil techniques of Rocket Kotarou, king of the downhill slope!!!" [Ohtori]: "Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!" I weave between the students walking downhill, accelerating like the wind. [Kotarou]: "Oh, a curve! Time for an out-in-out turn!" [Ohtori]: "Brake! Start braking already!" [Kotarou]: "Start breaking?" [Ohtori]: "No, brakiiiiing!!!" So which is it? [Kotarou]: "Okaaay, I got this! I will demolish the bicycle speed barrier!!" [Ohtori]: "Noooooooooooo!!!!" [Kotarou]: "Go! Break that barrier!!" I brace myself, then turn the handlebars toward the inside of the curve. [Kotarou]: "Uuoooooooooo!!" [Kotarou]: "Ah, this won't work after all, brake time." *squeeeeak* [Ohtori]: "Giiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!" [Kotarou]: "Ah." Ohtori flies off the rear seat and falls down the hill. *rustle* *rustle* *rustle!* *snap* *crack!* Sounds of leaves and breaking branches. [Kotarou]: "Uwaaa! Are you okaaay!?" [Ohtori]: "O-owowow..." She's fine. Though now I'm getting déjà vu. Anyway, I'd better hurry down to the tree she's stuck in. [Ohtori]: "I-I'm gonna fall! Save meee!" [Kotarou]: "This is bad, Ohtori! The whole world can see your cherries this time!" [Ohtori]: "Gyaaaaaaaaa!!!" *rustle!* *fwump!* She falls down. [Kotarou]: "...a-are you all right?" [Ohtori]: "Do I look all right after falling from that height!!?" Actually, yes. [Ohtori]: "Aaah! This is why I hate you! I've had enough for today!" [Kotarou]: "Eh? Ah, really?" [Ohtori]: "I'm pretty sure this one was entirely your fault!" [Kotarou]: "...sorry." [Kotarou]: "I got a little overexcited..." [Ohtori]: "......eh?" [Ohtori]: "Ah, well, when you apologize that normally..." [Kotarou]: "I'll hold off on two-wheel drifts from now on..." [Ohtori]: "Please do." Even I have to agree this one was entirely my fault. [Ohtori]: "Haa...I'm really tired now, so I'm going home..." [Ohtori]: "We're not doing this again!" [Kotarou]: "Ah, okay." [Ohtori]: "Geez, what is with you?" Ohtori mutters as she walks off. [Ohtori]: "Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!" ...then I hear a scream from below. [Kotarou]: "She fell again..." Evidently she's fated to do that no matter what the situation... I rescue Ohtori again (she landed in yet another tree), and then we split up for good. That's right, braking is a fundamental part of racing. I use both front and rear brakes in tandem to navigate the corner at an optimal speed. It's dangerous to rely on the front wheel brake. When going downhill like this, it might lock the front wheel, and maybe even cause a frontflip. However, Ohtori's behind me, so the center of gravity is farther back than normal. Which means the right answer is to gently use the rear brake and then slam the front brake...! [Kotarou]: "Go! Braking!!" The bike makes a nice *squeeeeeeeeee!* noise as we round the corner. [Kotarou]: "Okaaay, now accelerate back to..." [Ohtori]: "Nooooo!!!" *bop* Someone hits my head from behind. [Kotarou]: "O-ow! That's danger―..." Before I finish my sentence, she grabs the back of my collar. [Ohtori]: "No more acceleration! Do that again and I'll strangle you!!" [Kotarou]: "Uu, uueh...you already are..." *swerve* *swerve* [Ohtori]: "Wa! Ah! Hey! Steer properly!" [Kotarou]: "Uugeh...s-safety first..." [Ohtori]: "Waaa! Waaa!! Waaaa!!!" And that is how we went down the hill. [Ohtori]: "Listen, you need to be more careful. There's a girl riding behind you, you know." [Kotarou]: "Fine, fine..." We ride through town, with her pulling on my collar from time to time. [Kotarou]: "But wasn't it kinda fun? Like a roller coaster?" [Ohtori]: "Not in the slightest!" [Kotarou]: "Really? I thought girls loved that sort of thing." [Ohtori]: "No we don't. That's just your weird assumptions." [Kotarou]: "Fine." [Ohtori]: "Besides, you're always like this. Impulsive, never thinking things through..." [Ohtori]: "You have no decalicy. That's why I hate you!" Deca...? [Kotarou]: "Decadence?" [Ohtori]: "No! Are your ears broken too!?" [Kotarou]: "Wait...did you mean delicacy?" [Kotarou]: "Del-i-ca-cy. The ability to read people's emotions." [Ohtori]: "I-I just switched two syllables around! It's not like..." [Kotarou]: "Oh, a dog turd." I turn the handlebars to evade it. [Ohtori]: "Howaaaaa!" She clings to me. [Kotarou]: "Wa, careful!" [Ohtori]: "You're the one who just put us in danger! Why'd you turn so suddenly!?" [Kotarou]: "I didn't think you'd want to get that on your new bike." I gesture toward "that" behind me. [Kotarou]: "That dog owner needs to be trained better." When things like that happen, in my opinion, it's the owner rather than the dog who did something wrong. [Ohtori]: "Ah, eh, well, I guess..." [Kotarou]: "By the way, this is making my heart pound a bit." I poke Ohtori's arm with one finger. [Ohtori]: ".........!" Her arms fly off... [Ohtori]: "Waa!" Then she loses balance and grabs me again.

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "Well, I don't mind that much." [Ohtori]: "Uu..." [Ohtori]: "Th-that's right!" She says rather curtly. [Kotarou]: "Ah, we can save time by cutting through this park." [Kotarou]: "Did you hear me?" [Ohtori]: "I-I heard you..." We pass through the posts meant to keep cars out, and start cycling through the park. There are rows of trees on each side of the path, forming a tunnel of leaves and branches over our heads. The light filtering through the leaves is nice and gentle. When the wind blows, that light dances around our feet. That's the best way I can describe it. Unsurprisingly, this is a popular place to jog. These shadows are quite refreshing in the summer, and in autumn the falling leaves are wonderful. ...though I don't like coming through here during the fall because of the ginkgo nut smell. Still, it's definitely a picturesque road. We pass by a number of people as we bike down that path. [Kotarou]: "This feels like a scene from a movie." [Ohtori]: "Huh?" [Kotarou]: "What we're doing right now." [Ohtori]: "You mean when you were racing downhill earlier?" [Kotarou]: "No..." There are surprisingly few people who enjoy emotional movies. [Kotarou]: "This is a good speed, right?" [Ohtori]: "Yes." Well, it's not that fun going this slow. But it does mean I can talk to her at the same time. [Kotarou]: "Ohtori, why did you choose to move now of all times?" [Ohtori]: "H-huh? Ummm..." [Ohtori]: "It was a convenient time." [Kotarou]: "Haa..." [Ohtori]: "It's too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter." [Kotarou]: "Well, I guess it's easier to do all the heavy lifting at this time of year..." That's still not a reason to move in the first place. [Kotarou]: "What about your parents? Were they against you transferring or something?" If she had to commute by train to the school, it's easy to imagine parents objecting. [Ohtori]: "...they weren't." [Kotarou]: "Hmm." They must give her a lot of freedom. [Ohtori]: "Why are you asking?" [Kotarou]: "Isn't it normal to ask stuff like that?" [Ohtori]: "...it's normal?" [Kotarou]: "Probably." [Ohtori]: "Then..." [Ohtori]: "The reason I moved is because it was a good time to move." [Kotarou]: "...you've got a lot of freedom." [Ohtori]: "I do." [Kotarou]: "So, what do they do for a living?" [Ohtori]: "My parents don't work." [Kotarou]: "Huh?" [Ohtori]: "I don't have any." I shouldn't have asked that. [Ohtori]: "...in that sense, I guess I do have a lot of freedom." [Kotarou]: "Aaah..." Freedom. Everyone who doesn't have it envies that word. But the kind of "freedom" Ohtori has...no one would envy. It's just another name for loneliness. [Kotarou]: "I see..." [Ohtori]: "Wh-why do you sound so sad all of a sudden?" [Kotarou]: "Well, I'm sorry for asking..." [Ohtori]: "Didn't you say it was normal to ask? So, this is normal." [Kotarou]: "The answer wasn't normal." [Ohtori]: "...it's normal for me." [Kotarou]: "I see..." What is "normal?" "Normal" to who? Things most people would consider normal are all abnormal to someone, somewhere. ...is that just us being insensitive? [Ohtori]: "What about you, Kotarou?" [Kotarou]: "...hm?" She asks just as I fall into self-loathing. [Ohtori]: "Kotarou, what about you?" [Kotarou]: "Ah, my family?" [Ohtori]: "Yeah." [Kotarou]: "They're normal...I mean, they're both healthy and norm-...they're office workers at a trading company." [Ohtori]: "You hesitated a lot." [Kotarou]: "Mmm..." [Ohtori]: "I don't know what's bothering you, but this is normal for me..." [Ohtori]: "So..." [Ohtori]: "D-don't worry about it." [Kotarou]: "...you're right." [Ohtori]: "Why do you sound so amazed?" [Kotarou]: "I do?" I thought I was just agreeing with you. ...maybe it isn't something I should worry about. But I can at least avoid touching on it needlessly. Even I can tell the difference between things that can and can't be laughed off as jokes. Changing the topic is probably a good idea at times like this. [Kotarou]: "Hey, ummm..." [Ohtori]: "What?" I can't think of anything. [Kotarou]: "I wanna change the topic, so bring up something else." [Ohtori]: "Wh-what?" [Ohtori]: "Ummmm..." *clunk* *clunk* [Ohtori]: "Well, I was wondering..." *clunk* *clunk* [Kotarou]: "Yes?" [Ohtori]: "Why are we shaking so much?" The pedals feel strangely heavy too. [Kotarou]: "...stop." I stop the bike and check the tires. One's been punctured. [Ohtori]: "I knew riding that way was dangerous. You never think anything through, Kotarou." [Kotarou]: "You're right. Sorry. I had no idea you were that heavy." [Ohtori]: "H-heavy!? I don't weigh that much!" We take it to a nearby bike shop as we continue our argument. [Ohtori]: "Besides, it shouldn't break this soon after I got it." [Kotarou]: "But it didn't break, the tire got punctured. Any sharp object could do that." [Kotarou]: "Anyway, sorry." [Ohtori]: "...when you put it like that..." [Ohtori]: "I was the one who asked you to do this..." [Kotarou]: "Yeah...and you're the one who came on a bike..." [Kotarou]: "And you're the one who couldn't ride on the back..." [Ohtori]: "...true..." [Kotarou]: "Maybe 80% of it was your fault this time, Ohtori..." [Ohtori]: "Was it? ...I apologize..." [Ohtori]: "No, wait, there's no way that much of it is my fault! You're the one who put me on the back of the bike, Kotarou!!" [Kotarou]: "Damn, you noticed." [Ohtori]: "Any normal person would notice that!" Normal people would notice it sooner. [Kotarou]: "Anyway, we're here." [Ohtori]: "Ah, okay." [Kotarou]: "Excuse me." An old man in gray work overalls comes out of the back. [Bike Repairman]: "I'm here. Is this a punctured tire?" [Kotarou]: "Yes." [Bike Repairman]: "Hmm."

<METADATA> Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Witch | Gender: Female | Aliases: Senri Akane, Prez, The Witch of the School Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Bike Repairman]: "It looks like a brand new bike, so repairing the tube should take no time at all." [Ohtori]: "Th-thank you." [Bike Repairman]: "...but you shouldn't both ride it at the same time. That hurts the tires." [Kotarou]: "S-sorry about that. It was an emergency." [Bike Repairman]: "Well, I did the same thing when I was young. And the girl who sat behind me is my wife now." He laughs and smiles brightly as he pulls out his tools. [Kotarou]: "Wife...?" I look at the girl who sat behind me. [Ohtori]: "Wh-what!?" [Kotarou]: "Nothing." [Ohtori]: "There's nothing between us, Kotarou! In fact, I hate you!!" [Bike Repairman]: "So young." The old man begins pulling the tube out of the tire, still smiling. Since we have nothing better to do, we watch him finish the repairs. Ohtori seems very interested in it. [Ohtori]: "What's this?" [Bike Repairman]: "A belt sander." [Kotarou]: "It uses a belt of sandpaper to smooth down surfaces, right?" [Bike Repairman]: "Yes, yes, where did you learn that?" [Kotarou]: "I've had to fix most of the flat bike tires in my family for a long time now." Though nowadays I'm sick of it so I just get a repairman to do it. [Ohtori]: "Wow..." Unsurprisingly, this rich girl doesn't seem to know a thing about repairing a flat tire. She gazes longingly at the belt sander as it makes a nice whirring noise. She's so blatantly clueless about this it feels like she might actually be a princess raised in luxury. [Kotarou]: "Not that it matters, but the name "belt sander" is pretty cool. Especially if you pronounce it like "thunder."" [Ohtori]: "...that really doesn't matter." [Kotarou]: "Eh!? But it has thunder!!" [Ohtori]: "So what if it does?" [Kotarou]: "Thunder elemental attributes!" [Ohtori]: "That isn't even an answer to my question." [Kotarou]: "It might as well be a lightning belt!!" [Kotarou]: "Crap, that's actually pretty cheesy. Ignore what I just said." [Ohtori]: "...you're weird, Kotarou." [Kotarou]: "Somewhat." [Bike Repairman]: "So young." The repairs continue as we have silly conversations... It's already evening. [Ohtori]: "Everything went horribly today and it's all your fault, Kotarou..." [Kotarou]: "And I apologize for that." I push Ohtori's bike as we walk together. In the end I didn't get to show her any of the town beyond the park. Well...I guess I can show her a few things on the way back. [Kotarou]: "Look, Ohtori, that's Katou-san's house." [Ohtori]: "Who's he?" [Kotarou]: "Katou-san." I've never met him. [Ohtori]: "...I don't care." [Kotarou]: "Actually, neither do I." What is there to show her in a quiet neighborhood like this? [Ohtori]: "I'm getting hungry." [Kotarou]: "There aren't any good places for food around here..." There might be a café though... [Ohtori]: "I'll just wait until I get home..." [Kotarou]: "Where's your house?" [Ohtori]: "Very close. In fact we're close enough already." [Kotarou]: "Really?" Ohtori grabs one of the handlebars, so I let go of the bike. [Kotarou]: "Sorry about all that. I didn't show you very much." [Ohtori]: "It's all right, I had fun..." [Kotarou]: "...fun? When?" [Ohtori]: "Eh!? Ah, no, well..." [Ohtori]: "No particular part." [Kotarou]: "Was it when you rode behind me?" [Ohtori]: "I don't want to ride with you ever again!" [Ohtori]: "Aaah, now it feels like none of it was fun after all!" [Kotarou]: "Really?" [Ohtori]: "Wh-what...?" [Ohtori]: "I-I need to get going so...bye!" [Kotarou]: "Okay." [Ohtori]: "I keep telling you that's why..." [Kotarou]: "If you hate it I'll try to change." [Ohtori]: "...p-please do." She leaves. [Kotarou]: "...okay." I should go home too... "To K.T." "Tonight at midnight, come to classroom 2-A alone." "Infiltrate the school using the instructions on the map below." "From the witch of the school." 11:45―― Here I am. The fact that she called me out here late at night is getting me excited. [Kotarou]: (After what happened last night...) I have to admit I feel safer here than I do at home. I turn on Mappie. I add a marker in the specified classroom. Target set. And the witch wanted me to get in through... [Kotarou]: "Anyone home?" [Kotarou]: "Man it's dark..." The club room is pitch black. No signs of life. I set the Sergeant down nowhere in particular. Suddenly, light. A faint blue light illuminates the room. It's not a fluorescent lamp. I can't tell if it's really lighting anything up. If anything it makes me feel like I'm underwater. [Kotarou]: "Wh-who's there?" The light isn't coming from the ceiling. It's being emitted by a spherical object on the table. [Kotarou]: (A crystal ball?) A crystal ball, used for divination, is emitting a faint light. A cold light, unlike that of the sun or normal lightbulbs. It's more like moonlight. [Kotarou]: "It sure feels like a "magical" light..." I'm drawn toward the crystal ball. A chair with its back turned to me suddenly spins around. [Witch]: "Welcome, gypsy, to my secret room." The witch is sitting in it, resting one elbow on the table and crossing her legs. [Kotarou]: ".........thanks for having me." Normally I'd be freaked out by this, but for some reason I failed to react. [Witch]: "You're Tennouji Kotarou, yes?" The witch continues, unconcerned by the strange mood. [Kotarou]: "Yes." [Witch]: "I'm the one you've been looking for." [Kotarou]: "...you're the witch?" [Witch]: "That's what people call me." [Kotarou]: "Hmmmm." [Witch]: "You don't seem surprised." [Witch]: "And after I went to all this trouble..." [Kotarou]: "Sorry." [Kotarou]: "Normally I'd have made a better squeal." [Witch]: "Such a waste."

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Witch | Gender: Female | Aliases: Senri Akane, Prez, The Witch of the School Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School </METADATA> The witch's face had been hidden under a hood, but now she casually flips it back. Her face is exposed. [Kotarou]: "...whoa, she's a looker." She looks slightly displeased. [Witch]: "My looks are irrelevant." [Witch]: "I'm interested in you, Tennouji." [Kotarou]: "Haa...well obviously we have stuff to talk about, but first..." [Witch]: "What?" [Kotarou]: "Umm, are you a third-year?" [Witch]: "Yes." [Witch]: "Third-year student Senri Akane." [Kotarou]: "I'm second-year Tennouji Kotarou. Pleased to meet you." [Akane]: "I have a rough idea what your situation is." [Kotarou]: "Yeah, a lot of weird things have been happening to me lately." [Akane]: "...huhu!" [Kotarou]: "You seem to be enjoying this." [Akane]: "I like bizarre incidents of all varieties." [Kotarou]: "Sounds like a great hobby..." [Kotarou]: "Though you probably wouldn't be in charge of an Occult Research Club otherwise." [Kotarou]: "I assume there's an interesting story behind that?" [Akane]: "You've done your homework." [Kotarou]: "I was desperate." [Akane]: "You need a lot of conviction before you can start breaking people's locks." [Kotarou]: "Sorry, that was a complete accident." [Kotarou]: "Please forgive me." [Akane]: "All right." [Kotarou]: (She's surprisingly lenient...) [Akane]: "I've already sent a bill to your house, so please pay it promptly." [Kotarou]: (Okay, not that lenient...) [Kotarou]: "...I hope it's not a huge sum." [Akane]: "Just the repair fee and some consolation money." [Kotarou]: "You have consolation money." [Kotarou]: "Order rejected." [Akane]: "Eh?" [Kotarou]: "Sorry, personal in-joke." She gives me an inquisitive glance. [Akane]: "On to the main topic then. Sit down." I sit down in a pipe chair as Akane picks up the remote control for the lights. Akane removes the robe she was wearing and opens up an expensive-looking laptop. [Kotarou]: "Wow, even occultists are going high-tech nowadays." [Kotarou]: "I expected no less." I can hear quiet gunshots and explosions from her laptop's speakers. [Akane]: "Eh? This is an FPS." [Kotarou]: "Play that later!" [Akane]: "I like ones set in WW2 or the modern era." [Kotarou]: "What does this have to do with anything...?" By the way, "FPS" means a "First Person Shooter" video game. Those games make me ill so I never play them. [Akane]: "I can talk while playing." [Kotarou]: "It's still gonna get in the way..." [Akane]: "Damn!" Akane suddenly curses. [Kotarou]: "Wh-what's wrong?" Did I do something to upset her? Crap, if I piss her off now she might not help me. [Akane]: "Those damn Americans are rushing our position." [Akane]: "They want to reoccupy this country, even if they can only do so in a video game." [Akane]: "But I won't let them. I will shoot every last one of them on sight." [Kotarou]: "Please close that laptop." [Kotarou]: "We can't talk like this." She closes her laptop with a very dissatisfied look on her face. We finally have a serious conversation. [Akane]: "By the way, you smell like an unwashed fish tank..." [Kotarou]: "That's the smell of out-of-control youth. Don't mind it." My body reeks of the lake. [Akane]: "...I saw your answers." [Kotarou]: "How'd I do?" I ignore the nagging question of how she got anything out of those answers. [Akane]: "My conclusion is..." [Akane]: "You're in deep shit." [Kotarou]: "...umm...well..." [Kotarou]: "Do you have to say it like a shameless modern girl?" [Akane]: "I am a shameless modern girl." [Kotarou]: "But you're a witch first, right?" [Akane]: "What I said was true." [Kotarou]: "It's that bad?" [Akane]: "You're heading into alternate dimensions with ghosts." [Akane]: "At this rate you'll be seeing UFOs by tomorrow." Akane chuckles. The severity of my predicament sinks in. [Kotarou]: "Senpai, I know this is a weird thing to say after coming to ask for help..." [Kotarou]: "But I think I'm a bit disillusioned." [Akane]: "Oh? You are?" [Kotarou]: "You're much more vulgar than I expected." One of Akane's eyebrows raises. [Kotarou]: "I apologize for being so blunt during our first meeting, but I think anyone would have the same response." [Kotarou]: "Senpai, are you really the witch?" [Akane]: "Hmph. You're forgetting something." [Kotarou]: "What?" [Akane]: "You've already confirmed the existence of supernatural phenomena, right?" [Kotarou]: "Well..." [Akane]: "Do I have to be stirring a cauldron to be a witch?" [Akane]: "If all you want are those exaggerated images, go ask some random soothsayer or fortuneteller." [Akane]: "They're sure to give you a much better act." [Kotarou]: "Ah, that's not..." [Akane]: "There's nothing strange about one's appearance and one's nature being completely different." [Akane]: "And when it comes to magic, the observer has a huge influence on what he sees." [Akane]: "Depending on your state of mind, a white curtain might look like a ghost, or it might just look pretty." [Akane]: "The vast majority of alleged spectral experiences are mere misinterpretations of unclear impressions of events. Either that or their deep-seated prejudices caused them to grossly exaggerate a certain physical phenomenon." [Akane]: "If you're so shallow that you think I'm not a real witch just because I talk informally, then you most likely excel at deceiving yourself." [Akane]: "Maybe you'd understand if I told you your problems were all self-delusions and made you leave." [Kotarou]: "Daaah!" [Kotarou]: "Fiiine, I get the point already!" [Kotarou]: "I shouldn't have said that! I'm sorry! Please give me a break here!" She's really blunt... [Akane]: "Good. Boys need to be honest." [Kotarou]: "...why am I getting lectured on this anyway?" [Kotarou]: "You aren't going to tell me that ghost stuff is all an illusion, right?" [Akane]: "Now then..."

<METADATA> Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Akane]: "We don't know for sure if what you experienced is a genuine supernatural phenomenon." [Kotarou]: "If it isn't a vengeful spirit then what is it?" [Akane]: "There's a lot of other possibilities." [Kotarou]: "Such as?" [Akane]: "...a ghost?" [Kotarou]: "Umm, I'm sorry miss, but those two sound almost identical to me." [Akane]: "They're about as different as Western youkai and demons." [Kotarou]: "Those are the same too!" [Kotarou]: "Are you using Mizuki's definition of youkai or what?" [Akane]: "Anyway, I'm going to look up some things on ghost attacks, so first..." [Kotarou]: "I'd appreciate it if we did that part first..." Akane ignores me and pulls out the questionnaire. [Akane]: "Question 25." The one about changing myself or the world. I remember it well since it was a bit different from the others. [Kotarou]: "That philosophical one?" [Akane]: "...it's a very interesting answer, but I have to ask. Did you seriously think about it?" [Kotarou]: "I think I did." [Akane]: "So this is your honest answer?" [Kotarou]: "Yes." [Akane]: "I see." Akane thinks for a while. She looks unsatisfied somehow. Which one did I choose again? Pretty sure it was "myself..." [Kotarou]: (Did that choice disappoint her...!?) But it's my honest answer, so there's no helping that. I think I'd choose to change myself rather than bemoan the state of the world. Let's try changing the topic. Pretty sure I decided I couldn't answer that one. I did think pretty hard about it before making that decision, but... [Kotarou]: (Did that choice disappoint her...!?) But it's my honest answer, so there's no helping that. Let's try changing the topic. She looked pleased for some reason. [Kotarou]: (Did she like my answer...?) [Kotarou]: "Umm, so what should I do?" [Akane]: "Diagnosis:" [Akane]: "...continue observation." [Kotarou]: "Umm...I'd prefer we actually did something about it." [Kotarou]: "It even left a mark on my wrist. I've already got one foot in the grave." [Akane]: "Then you can have a talisman." [Kotarou]: "Talisman...?" [Akane]: "Most talismans in the world are fakes. But I'm going to give you a real one, with real power." [Kotarou]: "Seriously...?" Now this is what I was after. [Kotarou]: "That bit of exposition even made it sound trustworthy..." My breath quickens as my anticipation rises. [Kotarou]: "If I use it, I won't have to worry about ghosts anymore?" [Akane]: "I guarantee it." [Kotarou]: "Thank you!" [Akane]: "However." [Akane]: "I'm also going to observe you. To make that easier, Tennouji, I'll have you join the Occult Research Club." [Kotarou]: "...eh? I'm joining the Occult Club?" [Akane]: "Don't worry, I'm not going to force you or anything." [Kotarou]: "I really don't know anything about this stuff..." [Akane]: "Not a problem. I don't care about the background of my test subjects." [Kotarou]: "Did you just say test subjects?" [Akane]: "Here's the entry form." [Kotarou]: "You're really good at selectively ignoring questions..." She hands me a form. [Kotarou]: "...I have a job though, so I might not be able to participate much." [Akane]: "It's fine, as long as you come when I need you." [Akane]: "Also, Tennouji, we're doing this for your sake. Don't forget that." She's got a point. [Kotarou]: "In for a penny, in for a pound I guess." I sign it and hand it back to Akane. [Akane]: "Good. Welcome to the Occult Research Club." [Akane]: "I hope you enjoy your stay here." [Kotarou]: "Eh?" May I become a certain someone... A voice inside my head says that. [Kotarou]: "...okay, let's get that protective charm out as soon as possible." [Akane]: "I know." [Akane]: "I'll give you a talisman with tremendous mystical power, greater than any other protective charm." [Kotarou]: "What kind of power does that thing have exactly?" [Akane]: "It was made using the wisdom from a certain grimoire." [Kotarou]: "Sounds about right." [Kotarou]: "Thank you very much." I hold out my hands respectfully. Akane's eyes run along the table. Then they stop on a certain something. [Akane]: "...this should work." She hands it to me. [Akane]: "I hereby bequeath to you an amulet of Venus holding the greatest magic in the cosmos." [Kotarou]: "Did you just say "this should work?"" [Akane]: "Because it's a good enough talisman." I look at the charm she handed me. It's a paper clip. [Kotarou]: "It's a paper clip!" [Kotarou]: "Cliiiiiiiiiiiiiiip!" [Kotarou]: "There's no way this has the power of Venus! The only power it has is clipping things!" [Akane]: "It clips ghosts." [Kotarou]: "Now you're just making shit up!" [Akane]: "Since ghosts are already clipped to the gap between life and death." [Kotarou]: "No wordplay!" [Kotarou]: "Gimme something that'll actually help." [Akane]: "Humans are so easily fooled by appearances." [Kotarou]: "...are you seriously trying to tell me this paper clip has mystical powers?" [Akane]: "Yes." [Kotarou]: "Jesus...are you serious...?" [Akane]: "You get really hung up on appearances." [Akane]: "Then I'll play along. Take this too." Akane opens a drawer and pulls out some paper dolls. [Kotarou]: "What are these?" [Akane]: "Shikigami." [Kotarou]: "...you're an Onmyouji now?" [Akane]: "I'm not picky about my magic." [Akane]: "I assume you won't complain about what branch of magic something's from as long as it works." [Kotarou]: "Well, that is true..." [Akane]: "The shikigami will protect you from evil assailants." [Kotarou]: "...and this clip?" [Akane]: "Just clip the shikigami together." [Kotarou]: "It really is just a paper clip, isn't it?" [Akane]: "Letting the two share their power boosts the effect." [Kotarou]: "...you still aren't giving up on that?" [Kotarou]: "Do you have any real Venus-powered charms?" [Akane]: "I should have something like that lying around, but you know Venus' power is meant for love, right?" [Kotarou]: "That doesn't even matter!" I hand back the paper clip.

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "You're just mocking me!" [Akane]: "You finally noticed?" [Kotarou]: "Unfortunately for you, I never believed it in the first place." [Akane]: "Don't worry, those shikigami are real." [Kotarou]: "They are? ...I certainly hope so." There's something written on each of them. Keitarou Saburou Tomoko [Kotarou]: "...they have names." [Kotarou]: "How do I use these?" [Akane]: "Just leave them in your room somewhere." That's simple. But the way she answered felt strangely indifferent... Oh well, at least it's simple. [Akane]: "Start using them tonight." [Kotarou]: "Thank you...very much..." I can't say I'm completely satisfied yet, but I bow anyway. [Akane]: "However." [Akane]: "Keep reporting to me. And I'm not going to force you, but come here again tomorrow." [Kotarou]: "At night again?" [Akane]: "Tomorrow you can just come after school." [Kotarou]: "Okay..." [Akane]: "Answer quickly and strongly." [Kotarou]: "Sir, yes, sir!" [Akane]: "...I see you think you're a comedian." Some of that was a bit confusing, but now I'm in the Occult Research Club. I go home, then lay out the shikigami on my desk. [Kotarou]: "Okay..." Dependable scraps of paper who will protect me from evil spirits. I have no choice but to trust them tonight. [Kotarou]: "I'm counting on you, Keitarou, Saburou, Tomoko..."

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Witch | Gender: Female | Aliases: Senri Akane, Prez, The Witch of the School </METADATA> [Kotarou]: (She told me to infiltrate through here...) I'd expect the school to lock everything properly at night, but maybe they don't check this part? She specified this exact window. I'll just have to assume it's okay. I make a quick inspection, and discover that the window in question isn't locked. Did the witch do this? [Kotarou]: "I like where this is going." [Kotarou]: (The school at night...) [Kotarou]: (This feels weird.) [Kotarou]: (It's so mysterious...) Some people might find it scary. But to me it's strangely fun. [Kotarou]: (I really do like this kind of thing.) As soft moonlight pours into the school at night, a smile no one can see appears on my face. I climb up to the third floor and reach the specified classroom. I gently slide open the door. The witch might be on the other side. I can't hide my nervousness. [Kotarou]: "...hellooo?" I call out to the darkness, quietly. The lights are off, so I can hardly see a thing in there. No signs of life. This is annoying. Was she just screwing with me? I notice something written on the blackboard. "To K.T." "Classroom 1-C." That's it. [Kotarou]: "So that's your game." This is pretty common. Sending people to several locations in a row to shake off pursuers, or just to be more careful. [Kotarou]: "Now this really feels like a quest." [Kotarou]: "1-C..." [Kotarou]: "This isn't the right place. I might get spotted too." [Kotarou]: "Let's go where she told me to." [Kotarou]: "Eh? You want me to go in through here...?" [Kotarou]: "All right, let's go! I'm gonna do it! I am Danger Man!!" Since I'm Danger Man, I chose to infiltrate through here. [Kotarou]: "You wanna go in through the front door? Why do you think she specified a window for us!?" [Kotarou]: "Am I stupid!? Why go out of my way to take the most dangerous..." [Kotarou]: "Wait, that's it! I am stupid!!" [Kotarou]: "Yay! Let's gooooooooooooooooooo!!!" Since I'm stupid, I decided to infiltrate through here. I infiltrated the school somewhere I wasn't told to. Guards immediately appear in front of me. [Guard A]: "We've got you now, you filthy rat..." [Guard B]: "We won't kill you just yet. Your trip to hell needs to be as slow and painful as possible..." [Kotarou]: "Uu...is this the end of me...?" My life flashes before my eyes. Strength wells up inside me. [Kotarou]: "I'm not...finished yet..." [Kotarou]: "I will...fulfill my promise!" [Guard A]: "What!?" [Guard B]: "You're going to resist!? With all those wounds!?" [Kotarou]: "Yes I will! Uuoooooooo!!" I gather all my remaining strength in my fist, and charge toward the guards. I will never despair again. This beautiful blue earth will shine forever in my heart. And then―― I got suspended. [Witch]: "...idiot." ...that's what'll happen if I try this, so let's go in the proper entrance. [Kotarou]: "There's a lake. There are carp in there, so if I throw in some food they'll all gather in one spot." [Kotarou]: "But I have no food." [Kotarou]: "I told you I can't do anything." [Kotarou]: "Umm...the only thing I can do with this lake is dive into it." [Kotarou]: "Is that what you're asking me to do?" [Kotarou]: "Okaaay! Diiiiiive!!" *splaaash!* [Kotarou]: "Now that I'm in it doesn't bother me anymore." [Kotarou]: "Hm? There's a plastic bottle in here." [Kotarou]: "Inside is a mysterious piece of paper..." Obtained Info: "I Actually Do Have Superpowers!" [Kotarou]: "Woohoo! It reeks of algae but I'm gonna swim anyway!" [Kotarou]: "It's slimy!" Classroom 1-C―― [Kotarou]: "...this again?" "To K.T." "3-B" [Kotarou]: "Fine, fine." Now it's more like a fetch quest. I follow her instructions and head for the next classroom. "To K.T." "The skywalk." [Kotarou]: "Okay." Someone stands in the darkness ahead of me. [Kotarou]: "Geh..." A guard. A teacher. A vengeful school ghost. Those would all be bad. And if it's a former teacher's vengeful ghost working as a security guard, it's three times as bad. I'll face the dreaded triple suspension. I think about making a U-turn, but the enemy's acting weird. I can't tell who or what it is, but it doesn't seem to be alive. I don't feel any pressure from it. I try getting closer. [Kotarou]: "...the witch?" I think I can see it smirking confidently under a white mustache. I approach very carefully. The starlight from the windows illuminates it. [Kotarou]: "Uuoh!? Sergeant...!?" I leap back. It's a life-size doll of the Kazamatsuri Fried Chicken (KFC) mascot, a fast food chain that exists only in Kazamatsuri. Sergeant Sanders. I've heard he was modeled on a guy with military experience. Apparently they're being sued by a certain fried chicken chain right now. What was it called again? ...hmm...it had a similar logo... Anyway, the Sergeant is more well-known around here. [Kotarou]: "But what's he doing here...?" The Sergeant smiles kindly and holds up a note in one hand. "To K.T." "The Club Room" "Bring the Sergeant with you." I'm going back there? And why are you making me do this...? I carry the Sergeant. It's life-size so this is a bit awkward, but it weighs almost nothing so I can manage. [Kotarou]: "That was a pointless quest..." [Kotarou]: (There's something on the floor...) [Kotarou]: (Another porn book? ...you guys love appearing out of nowhere...) [Kotarou]: (Okay, let's read this.) [Kotarou]: "45 out of 100..." You obtained Porn Book (Rank C)! [Kotarou]: (Hmm...graffiti?) "I'm Anna, and I love pervy things! Call me at this number! I'll give you a sexy experience♪" [Kotarou]: "S-sexy experience...just how sexy is it...?" [Kotarou]: "Hello? I-is this Anna-san? My name is Tennou..." [Girl on the Phone]: "Hello, this is the Kazamatsuri Police late-night hotline." [Kotarou]: "...damn." [Kotarou]: (...graffiti.)

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> "My boyfriend doesn't like me anymore (*sob*)...would someone play with me? I wanna play doctor～ Here's my cell phone number." [Kotarou]: "P-play doctor...I wanna do that...!" [Kotarou]: "Hello? I-I'm good at checking for girl's heartbeats by touching their chests..." [Girl on the Phone]: "Hello, this is the designated yakuza group Kazamatsuri Red Dragon Alliance." [Kotarou]: "...dammit." [First-Year Boy]: "Hiiii!" In the middle of the night, a terrified first-year runs through the school. [Kotarou]: "What's wrong, first-year?" [First-Year Boy]: "Y-y-you're a second-year, right!? Save me!" [Kotarou]: "Tell me what happened." [First-Year Boy]: "I-I came here to get something I left in class! And then..." [Kotarou]: "And then...?" [First-Year Boy]: "There were...old men!" [Kotarou]: "...what?" [First-Year Boy]: "A group of old men......wearing our uniform. Aaah, just remembering it makes me shiver. They're bad news." [Kotarou]: "Hey, calm down." [First-Year Student]: "That rumor was true after all! Those men...they're real! Uwaaaaa!" The first-year panics and runs off. [Kotarou]: "Aaah, come on...at least tell me where they are." [Kotarou]: "Mmm..." Obtained Info: "The Terrifying Old Men!" I pick up a flyer in the hallway. "You can get a girlfriend for free!" It says I can participate in a late-night group date if I go to a certain place in the school at night. Late-night group date. Sounds enticing. Sounds unignorable. The place turns out to be the boy's bathroom. [Kotarou]: "...dammit." It's just a prank. [Lustful Boy]: "...dammit." Apparently I'm not the only one who got tricked. He's holding the same flyer as me. [Lustful Boy]: "Looks like you got tricked too." [Kotarou]: "I guess so..." [Lustful Boy]: "I shouldn't have believed the rumor that lots of fun things happen in the school at night." [Kotarou]: "I've never heard of that rumor..." No wonder there's all this weird stuff. [Lustful Boy]: "I see another flyer. Should we read it?" It says this: "Cleaning the bathroom will open the door to the group date――" [Kotarou]: "...wow." [Lustful Boy]: "Yeah." But I won't give up. I will pursue mysterious things in this late-night school. You became friends with Lustful Boy! There's a child in the hallway. He's around elementary school age... probably close to middle school. [Kotarou]: "What are you doing here in the middle of the night?" [Child]: "I'm a Sukumon Hunter, so it's fine." [Kotarou]: "How does that make it fine?" [Child]: "Sukumon Hunters can do whatever they want without a guardian all year round." [Kotarou]: "I'm having trouble understanding you." [Child]: "Nii-chan, what Sukumon do you have? That's all that matters here." [Kotarou]: "...Suku...what?" The child looks at me with pity. [Child]: "You're so behind the times, old man." [Kotarou]: ".........eh?" For a moment I had no idea what he said. [Kotarou]: "Old man...as in...me?" [Child]: "You don't even know what Sukumon are...I pity you." He snickers as he walks off. [Kotarou]: "...old...man..." I can't seem to get over the shock. [Kotarou]: (...it's locked.) [Kotarou]: (I said it's locked.) [Kotarou]: (But maybe...no, it's shut tight. I can't get in.) [Kotarou]: (...but now it's open for some reason.) [Kotarou]: "Anything good in here...?" You obtained information from a piece of paper! [Kotarou]: "Let's see..." "LAN cables are made around a thin wire, so when you stretch them they get thinner but don't break, perfect for tying people up♪" [Kotarou]: "...yikes." [Kotarou]: (I don't feel like looking around here anymore...) I enter the bathroom. [Kotarou]: (What's this thing......?) I find a rare thing. "Fishing minigame." "Only operates between midnight and 3 am." One of the stalls is wide open, and that was written on the wall behind it. [Kotarou]: "A fishing...minigame?" The toilet is filled to the brim with water. Is it clogged? It's too dark to see what's down there. On the door is a note saying "Out of Order." [Kotarou]: "Hmm." There's a blue bucket on one side. It holds a number of toy fishing rods. [Kotarou]: "This is just weird..." [Kotarou]: "Hmm." I pick up one of the rods. I lower the line into the toilet. Eventually, it hooks onto something. [Kotarou]: "...hmm." I've definitely caught something. I gulp. I decide to pull it up... *whooosh!* You obtained Cursed Sock! [Kotarou]: "Well, once it falls in the toilet it basically is "cursed."" I try again, and get more cursed items. [Kotarou]: "Dammit! I missed again!" I failed the fishing minigame... [Kotarou]: "Apparently you can only try this once. The bucket of rods is gone." [Kotarou]: "...where did they go!?" [Kotarou]: (There's nothing on the stairs.) [Kotarou]: (I checked it thoroughly, but there's really nothing there.) [Kotarou]: (I'm not finding anything. I don't even know what I'm looking for.) [Kotarou]: (What...I found something...) Obtained Info: "The Seven Wonders: #5 - Story of the Stairs!" [Kotarou]: (I'm not gonna find anything else.) This door has a sign on it. "Gag Practice Room" [Kotarou]: "Umm..." Should I just ignore this...? [Kotarou]: "Let's take a look." It's not locked. The inside looks like a music room. It's probably soundproofed. [Kotarou]: "So...I guess I can use this at will?" Do modern schools really provide this much free stuff for students? A perfectly soundproofed room, just for me... [Kotarou]: "Okay..." I lock the door from the inside and take a few breaths. If I can master a super joke, the girls will be all over me. I will write a killer joke. This gag requires posing. I go bowlegged, put my fists in front of my mouth, and open them up! [Kotarou]: "Milk tsunami!" A number appears on the wall. "14/100" [Kotarou]: "Geeeeeeeeeh!?" [Kotarou]: "This thing is really harsh!" This joke was the best thing ever back in elementary school... [Kotarou]: "Apparently I can ask it for a review..."

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Woman's Voice]: "That joke was worth 14 out of 100 points." An automated voice answers me. The words were recorded separately, like in a phone tree. [Woman's Voice]: "Jokes relying entirely on bathroom humor, the enthusiasm of the comedian, or the tone of speech are rated low." [Kotarou]: "...ah, are they? That's kinda mean..." [Woman's Voice]: "Also, your joke appears to be aimed primarily at children with milk in their mouths." [Kotarou]: "Yes...and?" [Woman's Voice]: "Such an audience would react positively to any joke. Achieving a high score with such material is but a pipe dream." [Kotarou]: "Uu..." [Woman's Voice]: "Using jokes like this will only make people bully you." [Kotarou]: "Guuoooooooo..." Having your jokes criticized is really painful. I feel like my entire being has been rejected. This is going to haunt me in my final moments... I return to the hallway, terrified of the comedy world. [Kotarou]: "I'll come back after training myself..." I pick up another flyer in the hallway. "Getting money for free? Yes, it can happen!" I didn't know alchemy was being done here at night. The place turns out to be the boy's bathroom. [Kotarou]: "...dammit." It's just a prank. And there's another flyer on the door. "Cleaning the bathroom might get you treasure." [Kotarou]: "...you're trying to trick me." Then someone comes out of the janitor's closet. [Game King]: "I commend you for seeing through my trick. I am the Game King." [Game King]: "I control all nighttime pranks in this school." [Game King]: "The fishing minigame was also my doing." [Game King]: "My identity is...a second-year Kazamatsuri Academy student placed on cleaning duty for the sin of soiling the bathroom." [Game King]: "But I don't want to clean it. So I do everything in my power to make others do it..." [Game King]: "That is the secret behind all of this." Not much of a secret. [Game King]: "But now that I've been found out, this is the end. I must go into hiding now." [Game King]: "If you see me during the daytime, feel free to say hi." The Game King leaves. [Kotarou]: "...oh well." You became friends with the Game King!

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi </METADATA> October 8th (Friday) That night, I had a weird dream. [Girl]: "...Tennouji-san." [Kotarou]: "What? Who are you?" [Girl]: "It's me, Tomoko." [Kotarou]: "That name sounds familiar..." [Tomoko]: "I'm the shikigami, Tomoko." [Kotarou]: "Seriously?" [Tomoko]: "I came into your dreams as a spirit." [Tomoko]: "To protect you." [Kotarou]: "Amazing...real life supernatural phenomena..." [Tomoko]: "The truth is, you're in grave danger right now." [Kotarou]: "Right now!?" [Tomoko]: "The enemy is strong...I'm not sure if I have enough power to win this..." [Tomoko]: "But don't worry. I will protect you." [Kotarou]: "Tomoko...thank you." [Tomoko]: "Will you go on a date with me when this is over?" [Kotarou]: "Sure～" Were you scared? I bet you were! Iyahaaaaaaaaaaa! I've got good news for all you little boys and girls who are still playing even though you've finished the whole game! By now you're all capable of seeing Kagarin, so here's a reward for you! Now you get to see this little bonus story! Make sure you enjoy it! Ah, and you'll only see this once so don't rely on the old guy's autosaves. If you wanna see this again, save right now! Let's begin the story of love and tears! Hyahaaaaaaaaa!! 【A Story of Love and Tears - The Final Battle of Shikigami Tomoko】 At night, Kagari came. [Tomoko]: "There you are, ghost." Tomoko the shikigami stood in Kagari's way. Shikigami are familiars. Someone made them a long time ago. The writers never decided if it was someone from Gaia, or an unaffiliated summoner. Anyway, she's made out of paper. Easy to take care of, and requires very little energy. They don't even need a contract. They automatically protect whoever's closest to them. Think of them as familiars used to warn people. They can also try to intimidate. To make an analogy to conventional weapons, they're like toy fireworks. [Tomoko]: "I won't let you lay a finger on my amant (French for lover), Tennouji-san!" [Tomoko]: "Tooooooooooo!" Tomoko floated up and kamikaze'd Kagari. Kagari grabbed her and swallowed her whole. [Tomoko]: "Nooooooooo!?" She was devoured. [Tomoko]: "Uuuu, is this the end...?" Tomoko decided to use her last resort! [Tomoko]: "Become saltyyyyyyy!" I've heard some kinds of insects have poison in their bodies to prevent predators from eating too many of them (though I'm no expert). She couldn't quite do that, but Tomoko's body did become salty for some reason. Kagari spat her out. Tomoko's body landed on the desk with a plop. She'd taken a lot of damage. [Tomoko]: "This is the end of me...goodbye...mon amant.........uu." Tomoko's role ended. Meanwhile, Kagari was bothered by the strange aftertaste. She thought about going somewhere else. But eventually she decided to get into Kotarou's bed anyway. ...she got in. She snuggled up to him. She liked the slightly sweaty smell. But her mouth was still salty. That bothered her. In the end, Kagari got out of the bed. Then she opened the window and left. At this point Kagari wasn't thinking about things like being imprisoned by Gaia or missing chances to learn. But she had managed to learn how to open and close windows. She could also close the window from the outside by sliding her aurora (miracle ribbons) through the gap. Why did she bother to lock it? She probably learned how to both open and close windows at the same time, without realizing the two could be done separately. Cats can also open doors sometimes. But they don't completely understand how doors work. It's kinda like that. Since she didn't haunt him for very long, Kotarou didn't have any nightmares. Tomoko's efforts weren't for nothing. Thank you, Tomoko. Farewell, Tomoko. By the way, Kagari follows Kotarou around because the part of her aurora implanted in Kotarou's body draws her to him. 【A Story of Love and Tears - The Final Battle of Shikigami Tomoko - End】 Then my dream ended. [Kotarou]: "...what a refreshing morning." I feel reinvigorated. [Kotarou]: "This is a good day." I didn't worry about ghosts at all. I remember last night. Senri Akane, the witch. [Kotarou]: (I guess those shikigami did the trick.) Oh yeah, one of them was in my dream... [Kotarou]: (...Tomoko I think?) I check the shikigami. They're still lined up on the desk, just as I left them. No, wait... Tomoko's been torn to pieces. [Kotarou]: "T-Tomokooooooo!" [Tomoko]: "The enemy is strong...I'm not sure if I have enough power to win this..." [Tomoko]: "But don't worry. I will protect you." [Tomoko]: "Will you go on a date with me when this is over?" [Kotarou]: "Tomokooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" I reach the classroom. Now, time to say hi as usual. [Kotarou]: "Hey, Ohtori. If you translate Superman literally, you get "Above Man."" [Ohtori]: "Shouldn't it be "Supreme Man?"" [Kotarou]: "Ah! Crap, you're right!" [Ohtori]: "Not that it matters or anything." And then the teacher shows up. Today's school life begins. During break, I procure some juice and wander around the halls. [Kotarou]: "Hm?" There's something strange in the courtyard. I can see a tail behind a tree. [Kotarou]: "Wait..." That's probably someone's hair. [Kotarou]: "Who's that?" I walk around until I can get a good look. Shizuru is happily performing photosynthesis. [Kotarou]: "What is she doing there...?" Break time is only ten minutes long. Can she really get much sunbathing done in that time frame? I can't tell if she's just carefree or... [Kotarou]: "Well, I guess I came out here too." So I walk up next to Shizuru-san. [Kotarou]: "Hey, it's Shizuru-san." I can barely hear her breathing. She must be fast asleep. [Kotarou]: "Hmmmm..." I pass my hand in front of her face. No response. [Kotarou]: "*twirl* *twirl*" I play with the hair on top of her head. [Kotarou]: "You will now become constipated." No response. Wait...did I say that right? I'm not sure how hypnosis works exactly. [Kotarou]: "*twirl* *twirl*" I start playing with her hair again. [Kotarou]: "Your bowels will now take a nose dive..." No response. [Kotarou]: "You need so much babysitting..."

<METADATA> Name: Touka Nishikujou | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Nakatsu Shizuru | Gender: Female | Aliases: Shizu </METADATA> Though a babysitter would probably enjoy taking care of her. But if I just leave her here, she might miss class. I decide to wait until only five minutes are left. If she doesn't get up by then, I'll have to force her awake. [Kotarou]: "Oh well..." I sit next to her. [Kotarou]: "*yaaawn*...it's so warm..." The warm sunlight and cool grass feel nice together. This is a good spot. It isn't even that crowded during break time. [Kotarou]: "Oh, a ladybug." This cute-looking guy is actually a hungry hunter who'll devour any aphid, mite or other small pest it finds. [Kotarou]: "Maybe I should capture one for Kotori's gardening." Among the great many tragic stories of my family's garden, quite a few involve pests. I've heard that deploying a large number of these hungry hunters can prevent pests from damaging the plants. But if you try to catch them barehanded, they secrete a stinky fluid. I decide to leave nature alone. So tranquil... Hmm...what can I do now besides nap? Maybe it'd look cool if I started whistling. I might look like one of those cool, aloof guys who lives by his own rules. But I can't whistle. [Kotarou]: "Put two fingers in my mouth and blow through the gap..." [Kotarou]: "That just makes a fart noise." Not cool at all. I'm such a lonely boy... *fwaa* *fwaa* *fwaa* *dedo* *dedon!!* [Kotarou]: "Wa!" Her cell phone rings. *clap* [Kotarou]: "Ah, she woke up..." That's an interesting alarm... Title: Shizuru - Awakening (Produced by: My Brain) *clap* She sleeps. [Kotarou]: "Hey, hey, hey, your alarm went off." I karate chop her head. [Shizuru]: "!?" She hops up. She looks at me. [Shizuru]: "...!" She gets surprised again. [Shizuru]: "Kotarou!" [Kotarou]: "Yes, I am Kotarou." [Shizuru]: "...!? !?" Shizuru-san is freaking out. She looks at the clock. She looks at me. She thinks hard. [Kotarou]: "What's wrong?" [Shizuru]: "W-we could've been..." [Shizuru]: "...talking all this time..." She is sad. [Kotarou]: "Not sure I understand...but you were fast asleep." [Kotarou]: "By the way, time's still passing as you worry about this." [Shizuru]: "Mmmmm..." "What have I done?" her face says. [Kotarou]: "Well, we can talk while we walk." I stand up. [Kotarou]: "Let's head back inside." She blushes. [Kotarou]: "...you're gonna be late." She nods a few times then follows behind me. [Kotarou]: "I see, there's just enough time left." Class will be starting right when she gets back. Shizuru smiles as she walks behind me. [Kotarou]: "Okaaay, run, Shizuru! We must make up for lost time!" She follows me eagerly. [Kotarou]: "Come on, start running!" [Shizuru]: "Start running! Start running!" [Kotarou]: "Run start!" [Shizuru]: "Runstar...?" [Kotarou]: "I have no idea what you're thinking...but it's probably off." She seems disappointed for some reason. And thus I dash back to school with Shizuru. ...would I have been a kind Onii-chan if I had a little sister? We put our shoes back on and return to the classroom. [Kotarou]: "By the way, do you always sit there spacing out?" [Shizuru]: "?" [Kotarou]: "Ah, well...why not walk next to me?" It feels weird having her follow behind me like a companion in some old RPG. She moves next to me. She seems embarrassed. [Shizuru]: "Not always." [Kotarou]: "Oooh?" [Shizuru]: "Only when it's sunny, and I feel like it." So not that often, I guess. [Shizuru]: "That place is nice and warm..." Her face softens with joy. [Kotarou]: "You seem pretty attached to it." [Shizuru]: "Hm? I'm not stuck to it." That's not what I meant. [Kotarou]: "I just mean you like it." She thinks. [Shizuru]: "I do like this place." [Kotarou]: "Hm?" [Shizuru]: "It's peaceful and calming..." [Shizuru]: "This town is filled with people's voices. It's fun." [Kotarou]: "Voices?" [Shizuru]: "There weren't nearly this many voices where I used to live." [Kotarou]: "Hmm?" [Shizuru]: "They were all adults, no young teenagers or children." I can't imagine where that would be. [Kotarou]: "Where did you live before coming here?" [Shizuru]: "Grandpa's house." [Kotarou]: "Aaah." That makes some sense. He must've been living out in the middle of nowhere. [Shizuru]: "I could only hear birds chirping there." [Shizuru]: "But here there are birds, people and lots of other sounds." [Shizuru]: "It's fun listening to them." [Kotarou]: "I see." Maybe that's why she says some odd things from time to time. ...I can understand that a little. It's kinda nice to just sit down in a park, relax and listen to the birds. [Shizuru]: "Hm...?" She glances behind us. [Kotarou]: "What's wrong?" I turn around too. A teacher quickly hides behind a corner. She pokes her face out slightly. She pulls back immediately. [Kotarou]: "Is that Nishikujou-sensei?" Shizuru nods. She glances at us again. She hides. Does she really think she's hiding from us...? [Kotarou]: "Good job noticing her, Shizuru." [Shizuru]: "?" "Really? It was obvious," her face says. [Kotarou]: "No, seriously...I had no idea she was there." "No, no, no, no, it's nothing." She shakes her head back and forth. [Kotarou]: "So what do we do about this painfully obvious stalker teacher?" [Shizuru]: "Let's leave her be..." [Kotarou]: "I see...you're very adult. Shizuru." "No, no, no, no, it's nothing." She shakes her head back and forth again. [Kotarou]: "That's not true. You're an adult." [Shizuru]: ".........!!" "Uwaaa! That's not true! I'm not amazing at all!!" her face says as she waves her hands in front of me. [Kotarou]: "Adult Shizuru." [Shizuru]: ".........!!!!" "Look at this! I'm waving my hands so fast it looks like I have dozens of fingers!!" her face says as she continues waving. That one was a lie. [Nishikujou]: "Almost there..."

<METADATA> Name: Nakatsu Shizuru | Gender: Female | Aliases: Shizu Name: Touka Nishikujou | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male </METADATA> As we discuss that, the child-like teacher approaches. Not only are her heels clacking, but I can hear her whisper to herself. It's obvious even to me. [Nishikujou]: "Got you!!" She lunges at Shizuru. A smooth dodge to one side. [Nishikujou]: "Ow..." She lost her balance, but somehow she manages to recover. [Nishikujou]: "...o-oh?" [Nishikujou]: "Got you!!" [Nishikujou]: "Gotcha!" [Nishikujou]: "Uuu...such speed!!" [Kotarou]: "Umm, have you had enough yet?" [Nishikujou]: "I guess so, but...gotcha!" She continues running away. [Nishikujou]: "That's strange...I was sure I erased my presence before approaching～" [Kotarou]: "Umm, you can't actually erase presences...this isn't a manga." [Nishikujou]: "Oh, you can't?" [Kotarou]: "Normally, no." [Nishikujou]: "Uhuhu, I wouldn't be so sure." [Kotarou]: "But you didn't erase it at all..." [Nishikujou]: "Oh my, Tennouji-kun, you're such a realist. Chop☆" [Kotarou]: "Ow!" She pokes my forehead. ...I've never quite gotten the hang of talking with her... But some students seem to love the way she acts, and she's actually pretty nice so she's very popular. I have no idea how old she is, but she can't be that young. [Kotarou]: "What are you doing, Sensei?" [Nishikujou]: "Hmm, what am I doing?" [Kotarou]: "...umm...people don't do things for no reason, so..." [Nishikujou]: "Oh my, oh my." ...she seems perplexed by this. [Nishikujou]: "That's not true. You can come up with all sorts of reasons after the fact." [Nishikujou]: "Anyway, I was walking down the hallway when I saw Shizuru-chan, so I decided to try glomping her from behind." So she had no reason after all. Actually, is she friends with Shizuru? [Nishikujou]: "Kya～ I have Shizuru-chan～" Shizuru seems to have given up, and has chosen to simply endure the hug. This feels like a girl fawning over a cat as the cat tries to remain dignified. [Nishikujou]: "Uhuhu, I've got enough Shizuru-chan for the day now～" [Kotarou]: "You've got what?" [Nishikujou]: "Shizuru-chan energy." Apparently Shizuru's body houses a mysterious energy. [Shizuru]: "...Nishikujou-sensei." [Nishikujou]: "Oh? What? Uhuhu, you can call me Onee-chan if you want." [Shizuru]: "No thank you." [Shizuru]: "Class is starting." [Nishikujou]: "Awww..." [Shizuru]: "...bye Kotarou." [Kotarou]: "See you later." [Nishikujou]: "What about Onee-san?" [Shizuru]: "No." [Nishikujou]: "You're no fun..." Shizuru leaves, leading Nishikujou-sensei by the hand. [Kotarou]: "I'm really not good with her..." Her style of humor just doesn't work for me. [Nishikujou]: "Ah, right, Tennouji-kun." [Kotarou]: "Hm? What is it?" [Nishikujou]: "...be good to Shizuru-chan." She seems to be smiling even brighter now. [Shizuru]: ".........!!!" [Nishikujou]: "Uhuhu, you don't have to pull so hard, Shizuru-chan." Sensei waves goodbye as they both walk away. What's with those two? Come to think of it, Nishikujou-sensei started working here this year. ...around the same time Shizuru entered. [Kotarou]: "...oh well." Not like they're hurting anyone. Lunch break. [Kotarou]: "Okay..." I escape class quickly. Let's see what we can get at the cafeteria today. Pretty sure today's Meal B was katsukare. One of the more popular menu items which grabs a growing boy's heart and never lets go. It's reasonable, and tastes good in large portions. But it still has a hint of danger. Though it always bugs me how our white uniforms couldn't be any worse for eating curry. Curry udon is probably the most dangerous thing I've ever seen on the menu. [Kotarou]: "Meal A is a pie filled with perch?" [Kotarou]: "At this rate they'll be serving a stew of kimchi mackerel." [Kotarou]: "Well, fiery-hearted men will go straight for the katsukare." [Kotarou]: "Isn't that right, my brother Yoshino?" [Yoshino]: "Shut up and be quiet. What I eat is my own business." [Yoshino]: "I will walk a path that is mine and mine alone." [Yoshino]: "Don't follow me. You'd die along the way." Badass rhetoric aside, you only have meals A and B to choose from. Though I guess there are technically some variations in the katsukare. I'm told one of our cafeteria guys used to be a chef in a curry shop, so that part of the katsukare is quite good. Plus there are ten levels of spiciness, and we can choose our own toppings. [Kotarou]: "Come to think of it, don't we also have guys who used to work in Chinese and French restaurants?" [Kotarou]: "At this point I wouldn't be surprised if the lunch lady used to be a hostess at some five-star establishment." [Kotarou]: "By the way, my brother, what level of spiciness will you go for?" [Yoshino]: "Why would I tell you?" [Kotarou]: "You can't handle spicy food, can you?" [Kotarou]: "Anything spicier than apples and honey makes your tongue melt in agony, right?" [Yoshino]: "Evidently you want your final meal to be katsukare." [Kotarou]: "I've heard only three people in our school year can eat level ten..." [Kotarou]: "Only three people!" [Kotarou]: "Doesn't the thought of joining those chosen few set your heart aflame?" [Kotarou]: "How can you call yourself a man if you don't accept this challenge?" [Yoshino]: "Don't I have the option of eating Meal A?" [Kotarou]: "No. You're eating curry with me." [Kotarou]: "Look, there's two seats open over there. Yoshino, save one for me." [Yoshino]: "W-wait just a minute!!" [Yoshino]: "I'm having curry, medium spiciness, with lots of fukujinzuke." [Yoshino]: "If you dare order anything spicier, I'll season it with your blood!" Yoshino doesn't want to fight for seating later either. Having to wander around in search of seats after getting one's food is quite an unpleasant experience.

<METADATA> Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Konohana Lucia | Gender: Female | Aliases: Class Rep </METADATA> Now I have my seat, so the next battle will be at the kitchen counter. This is truly the greatest battlefield in the cafeteria. It is indeed a lawless, war-torn land! The bottom of hell where lunatics do everything in their power to order their food and pick it up one second faster. Only your raw strength matters here. Behold my magnificent and powerful line-cutting technique! ......wait. [Kotarou]: "Wh-what the hell? Are you kidding me?" [Kotarou]: "Why is the line this well-behaved!?" [Kotarou]: "How could law and order have been restored here of all places!?" [Kotarou]: "Normally there's constant cutting, crowding, and even gunshots!!" [Lucia]: "Tennouji Kotarooooooooooooou!!" [Lucia]: "Go to the back of the line. No cutting. I will uphold the law here!" [Kotarou]: "S-sorry, sorry, I'll line up, it's fine, it's fine." Our class rep's white fists tremble, telling me without words how she has restored law and order through her own strength. Three people lie on the floor groaning, after being sacrificed to restore peace and tranquility. But this order will not last. After class rep makes her order and leaves the line, it will once again revert to a sea of chaos... [Kotarou]: "Do you always eat lunch here?" [Kotarou]: "Huh? I think I've seen you with a bentou before." [Lucia]: "When I don't feel like making one or am too ill to do so, I turn to the cafeteria." [Kotarou]: "I see. Since this is the second day in a row you've come here, does that mean you've been sick?" [Kotarou]: "Are you the type who doesn't recover quickly?" [Kotarou]: "Don't cool your stomach. Spinach is pretty good. Be sure to get enough iron." [Kotarou]: "I've heard there's a way to reduce pain by pressing just below your navel." [Kotarou]: "Shall I press it for you?" [Lucia]: "Wha-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wha...what are you talking abooooooooooooooooout!?" Her shining white fists start growling at me. If my facial structure gets distorted any further, I'll have to call a repairman... I apologize, surrender, and get in line behind her... Damn you, violent class rep. You're not supposed to respond that fiercely to a simple joke... If she wasn't class rep, and if she wasn't a girl, then I'd happily take her on. I turn around to look at Yoshino. He shrugs his shoulders with a look of contempt. His eyes are saying "What pathetic excuse for a man tries to overpower a girl with violence?" Damn you violent class rep...I won't let it end like this. Hmm, but I can't use violence back. This is the cafeteria. A place where people eat food. I must choose a means of revenge befitting such a place... [Old Woman]: "Okay, next～! Whaddya want!?" [Lucia]: "Curry, but no katsu please. Average spiciness." [Old Woman]: "Got it! Eat up!" [Old Woman]: "Okay, next～!" [Old Woman]: "Oh, Kotarou-chan." [Kotarou]: "Follow that car!" [Old Woman]: "Huh?" [Kotarou]: "I've always wanted to say that after getting into a taxi..." [Kotarou]: "Wait, not that! Gimme what the girl in front of me had." [Old Woman]: "You mean Lucia-chan?" [Old Woman]: "Curry without katsu, average spiciness?" [Kotarou]: "Curry without katsu. But the spiciness......let's make it the same level as your age, Oba-chan." [Old Woman]: "Oh my! And what level is that exactly, Kotarou-chaaan?" [Kotarou]: "Seventeen, obviously. Girls remain seventeen forever once they hit that age." [Old Woman]: "Uhuhu! You've still got it!" [Old Woman]: "But are you sure? Even level 10 is unbearable for most people." [Old Woman]: "Level 17 might be even stronger than that parfait you ordered yesterday!" [Kotarou]: "By the way, what level of spiciness was that super spicy lethal hell parfait?" [Old Woman]: "About ten." [Kotarou]: "Wonderful. Gimme a 17, señorita!" [Old Woman]: "Can you really eat that, Kotarou-chan...?" [Kotarou]: "Of course. I didn't get to eat all of yesterday's parfait." [Kotarou]: "This time I will challenge the true limits of spiciness. Watch in silence as I go to the depths of hell itself..." [Old Woman]: "So manly! Okay, level 17～!" And thus my tray contains a plate of curry. At first glance, it looks normal. But a car's wheels can look stationary even when rotating at high speed. A true champion is not something you can recognize on sight. [Kotarou]: "Okay......quick taste test. *lick*" Bugyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, uuu, gah...uu...! I want to scream that, but I resist. This stuff is seriously dangerous... This is so spicy it's a blasphemy against curry. No doubt IFF would recognize it as an enemy rather than as food. [Lucia]: "May I sit here? ......thank you." Class rep is just about to sit down. She sets down the tray with her curry on it, and... [Kotarou]: "Aaah! Someone cut in liiiiiiiiiiiiine!!" [Lucia]: "What!? Who is it!? How dare they...!!" [Lucia]: "Let those who disobey the law be punished with the iron hammer of justice!" As expected, class rep overreacts and leaves her curry behind to go keep the peace. And while she's gone... Average spiciness probably means level 5. Raising that to 17 will more than triple this curry's firepower! No Indian would touch this with a ten foot pole. By the way, going up one level actually doubles the spiciness, so I can't even imagine how much spicier this really is. It's probably well past the maximum multiplier in most score attack shooter games. Now, let the second battle commence, Konohana Lucia... You downed that level 10 parfait without breaking a sweat. But this is level 17...how will you defeat it!? [Kotarou]: "Can't wait to see this." [Kotarou]: "It'd be fun if she leaped up and went "Gyaa!"" [Kotarou]: "But if she eats this as effortlessly as last time..." [Kotarou]: "......I'll be witnessing the birth of a legend." [Yoshino]: "Stop spouting nonsense." [Yoshino]: "Anyway, are you going to eat anything today?" [Kotarou]: "What are you talking about? Also, Yoshino, where's your food?" [Yoshino]: "You want me to kill you that badly? Fine, step outside!!" [Kotarou]: "Quiet, keep it down, I'm trying to watch." [Kotarou]: "......oh, there she goes. She's gonna eat it, she's gonna eat it..." I brush off Yoshino's rage and focus on class rep.

<METADATA> Name: Konohana Lucia | Gender: Female | Aliases: Class Rep Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> She restored peace at the counter, finally returned to her seat, and is now just about to take the first bite... If any normal human took a bite of that level 17 curry... You know how in old detective movies, if some poor guy ingests cyanide, they end up on the floor writhing around, flinging drool everywhere? That's what I'd expect to see happen. But this girl is the queen of spice who thoroughly enjoyed casually consuming a level 10 parfait. To her tongue, that must've been no more than a slight tickle... In fact, for all I know, she might flatten that plate of curry just as easily as before!! [Lucia]: "*munch* *munch*......*munch* *munch*......the fukujinzuke is delicious too." Uuoooooooooooooooooooooo...!! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat...!? She is truly the new queen of spice... She survived the moment of impact as if it was nothing at all. [Kotarou]: "That......can't......" [Yoshino]: "How stupid are you!? Where is my katsukare!?" [Yoshino]: "This is just curry without any katsu!" [Kotarou]: "Y-yes...it was just curry..." [Kotarou]: "......I have lost." [Yoshino]: "Huh? Seriously, what are you talking about?" [Yoshino]: "Take the day off and go to a pet hospital." [Lucia]: "Yes, having curry at school once in a while is not so bad. That was delicious." [Kotarou]: "H-hey, class rep. Are you done eating?" [Lucia]: "......T-Tennouji!?" [Lucia]: "Yes, I am......i-is something wrong?" [Lucia]: "Is it so strange...seeing me eat curry...!?" I spoke to her with a strange expression on my face, something between awe, respect and suspicion. Class rep answers with extreme wariness. Her expression is something along the lines of "It's so embarrassing having someone watch me eat curry～". She doesn't have the slightest sense of achievement after cleanly devouring level 17 curry which might as well have had lava from hell sprinkled on it. [Kotarou]: "Did it get swapped with someone again?" [Kotarou]: "That can't be! I taste tested it, and watched it the whole time!" [Kotarou]: "And if it did get swapped, whoever ended up with it should be dead by now!" [Kotarou]: "I know for a fact class rep ate the level 17 curry!" [Lucia]: "Wh-...what? I-is it really that strange...th-that I was eating curry...!?" [Kotarou]: "Yes. Either your tongue or brain is broken." A single white uppercut allows me to kiss both the ceiling and the floor. This cafeteria has a huge variety of foods, but I'm probably the only one here who's ever learned what the ceiling tastes like... [Lucia]: "How could you be so rude...!? Enemy of women! Tennouji Kotarooooooooooou!" Class rep burns with indignation as she leaves my corpse behind to go return her tray. ......it's impossible. If she said something like "How dare you make me eat this curry!" then I could accept it. But that uppercut was clearly directed at my improper speech, and was utterly unconcerned with the spiciness of the curry. Maybe there really was another strange accident that swapped her curry with someone else's? Or perhaps......maybe that level of spiciness really does cross some ethereal threshold, beyond which lies an entirely different world of flavor...!?? [Kotarou]: "Impossible! It can't be. There must be some mistake." No other possibilities remain! There's no doubt in my mind that spiciness is indeed reverting to sweetness in some sort of reverse polarity phenomena! [Kotarou]: "Hypotheses only become fact when evidence is discovered!" I leap up and race over to the tray return area. This is class rep's tray. I know it...! [Kotarou]: "What happened to the curry...?" [Kotarou]: "An unknown chemical reaction? Spiciness beyond a certain level collapsing into nothingness!?" [Kotarou]: "Is the big bang really followed by the big crunch after all...!?" [Kotarou]: "Those secrets are hidden here and now in the curry attached to this plate!!" [Kotarou]: "......reveal yourself to me, level 17!!" [Kotarou]: "This may burn my tongue off permanently...but I am not afraid!" [Kotarou]: "I will reach the new universe of flavor...!!" [Kotarou]: "Nuoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!" [Kotarou]: "*lick*" ......*hssss* Oh yeah. You know that sizzling sound you get when you throw meat onto a hot metal grill? Have you ever wondered what it'd feel like to touch that grill with your tongue...? [Kotarou]: "Gyuwooooooooooooooooooooogagagagagaga!!" I'm dying! Wateeeeeeeer! Or at least salt and a lemon! My tongue's probably well-done by now...! A-anyway, I do know one thing for sure. The curry class rep ate was definitely level 17. It contains no chemical reactions or miracles. Just pure, merciless......17! Two facts have been confirmed from the above experiment. ① Konohana Lucia's curry was definitely level 17. ② Konohana Lucia ate the entirety of it without difficulty. [Kotarou]: "How could this be..." [Kotarou]: "All I've learned from this life-or-death experiment...is that class rep is really that incredible..." [Kotarou]: "Hm? What is this? Moses?" Moses is that guy who made the sea split in two so he could walk across the bottom. Likewise, the people standing in front of the tray return area are opening up a path. On the other side of the sea stands the form of a red-faced, exasperated goddess with a pitch black aura and pure white fists shaking...... What about this side? Only me, the man who licked her plate of curry... [Lucia]: "F-.........filthy filthy filthy..." [Lucia]: "Again, again you...you dare to...do that to my plate........." [Kotarou]: "Wait, listen to the scientific truths I've learned from risking my life in this experiment." [Lucia]: "......I see. You no longer fear death." [Lucia]: "Filthy filthy filthy, pervert pervert pervert!! Prepare to die, Tennouji Kotarooooooooooooooooooooooooooou!!" ......come to think of it, I've heard somewhere before... The closer you get to the speed of light, the slower time passes. She unleashes combo attacks at around that speed, pounding every fiber of my being into submission. As my body dances through the air, I gaze absent-mindedly at the hands on the clock moving slower than usual... *da-da-da-da, da, da, daa!* You have gained a level. Your title has changed to "Boy Who Licked a Girl's Plate - Level 2". [Teacher]: "Okay, that's it for today～" I'm supposed to head to the club room after school to give a "report". I've never been in a club before.

<METADATA> Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> So this will be a brand new experience. My heart races a little. It's good to try new things once in a while. [Kotarou]: "I'm here." [Akane]: "There you are." [Kotarou]: "Hello." I glance around the room. [Akane]: "Something wrong?" [Kotarou]: "I was wondering if there was anyone else in the club." [Akane]: "Nope, none." [Kotarou]: "...no one at all?" [Akane]: "The Occult Research Club is basically a ghost club." [Kotarou]: "Don't you need at least three people to form a club?" Those are the rules. [Akane]: "After seeing this room, you still think this is a law-abiding club?" [Akane]: "If so, I'm going to have to drastically lower my evaluation of your situational awareness skills." I've kinda noticed it's not normal. The problem is how she's getting away with it. There's no way she renovated this place in secret. Who the hell is this girl... [Akane]: "Though on the paperwork we have the requisite number of members." [Kotarou]: "The others are ghosts?" [Akane]: "Exactly." [Kotarou]: "A ghost club full of ghosts solves ghost-related mysteries..." [Kotarou]: "That's kind of amazing." [Akane]: "I take it something happened?" [Kotarou]: "It wasn't pretty..." I tell her about last night. I brought the torn up shikigami with me as evidence. [Akane]: "...I see. So it worked." [Akane]: "Hmmmm." [Kotarou]: "I guess these things were real after all..." I can't contain my excitement at learning onmyouji are real. [Kotarou]: "Maybe shikigami will become a new trend!" [Akane]: "I'm shocked." [Kotarou]: "Didn't you make these?" [Akane]: "No, they're not mine." [Akane]: "They were here when I arrived. Trash, in a sense." [Kotarou]: "!?" [Akane]: "I assume the old Occult Club acquired or made these somehow." [Akane]: "Aren't you glad they worked?" [Akane]: "I honestly didn't think they'd be real." [Akane]: "Be grateful that I brought such luck upon you." [Kotarou]: "Get cancer and die." I tried cursing her with my pure feelings of betrayal. [Kotarou]: "If these were fake..." I shiver. [Kotarou]: "I've really been walking on a tightrope..." [Kotarou]: "She was such a good girl...but look what happened to her after she tried to protect me." [Akane]: "...I wonder what could've caused this. Quite the mystery." [Akane]: "Going just by the results, I assume one of them can bear the brunt of the curse for you for one night." [Akane]: "Since I gave you three, you should be fine for two more days." [Kotarou]: "I see. So the other two still can't solve the real problem..." [Akane]: "Don't worry, I'll think of something in the next two days." [Akane]: "...there's plenty of suspicious items around here." [Kotarou]: "I couldn't hear you, what was that?" [Akane]: "You've got nothing to worry about." [Kotarou]: "S-so dependable...I'm so glad I came to you." [Akane]: "Be sure to keep reporting." [Kotarou]: "Understood." [Kotarou]: "By the way, Senpai, what does the Occult Research Club do exactly?" Akane makes a puzzled face. [Akane]: "...we don't "do" anything." [Kotarou]: "But you have a club room." [Akane]: "It's my private room." [Kotarou]: "Yeah right." [Akane]: "I should warn you." [Akane]: "Don't tell people about this club room if you can help it." [Kotarou]: "...it's a secret club room?" [Akane]: "I can't tell you the details, but I'm not proud of the way I procured this room. So, you know." [Kotarou]: "I see. You used your authority and underworld connections to get it." [Kotarou]: "Sounds just like you, Senpai." [Akane]: "Yes, yes, between the Board of Education and the PTA it was..." [Akane]: "Wait, you seriously think I'd tell you that?" [Kotarou]: "You're the one who brought those up..." [Kotarou]: "It's hard to believe that sort of thing actually happens though." [Kotarou]: "I'm wondering how you got the school to play along with it." [Akane]: "You really can't tell?" [Kotarou]: "...magic?" Akane doesn't answer. She only smiles. [Akane]: "Huhuhu, black magic..." [Kotarou]: "B-black magic..." [Kotarou]: "Like fireballs?" [Akane]: "I can't conjure those." [Kotarou]: "Then thunderbolts." [Akane]: "Buffoon." [Kotarou]: "Fine..." Does anyone use that word anymore? [Akane]: "All right, why don't I tell you a little secret about black magic?" [Akane]: "I receive information through several different channels." [Akane]: "A lot of it is secret information, and some of it is the sort of thing people don't want getting publicly announced." [Akane]: "Let's just say one of those people was a school faculty member." [Akane]: "Then I tell him I know that secret, and promise not to reveal it..." [Akane]: "Then I gather the four great spiritual powers, and arrange it so that I get credit for attending classes without actually attending them." [Kotarou]: "...that's some impressive magic you've got there." [Akane]: "Let's also say a certain student and teacher were performing improper acts in secret." [Akane]: "I used the stars to divine their ultimate fate, and told the teacher of the result." [Akane]: "And now the teacher does whatever I ask, like a little marionette." [Kotarou]: "...divining, right." [Akane]: "Let's say a certain city council member was in a certain corporation's pocket." [Akane]: "I used that information to cast a certain spell, thereby making a phone call..." [Akane]: "And mysteriously enough, someone started transferring allowance to my bank account on a regular basis..." [Kotarou]: "...alchemy, right." [Akane]: "This is how those with magic can control the world." [Kotarou]: "I can see your eyes glittering with gold..." [Kotarou]: "So basically, all of your magic is an illusion." [Akane]: "Oh, is that what it sounded like?" [Kotarou]: "They're just things that look mysterious but actually have perfectly ordinary answers." [Akane]: "Aleister Crowley. Dion Fortune. Ever heard of them?" [Kotarou]: "Nope. But they sound like magicians." [Akane]: "Congratulations for noticing." [Akane]: "Yes, they were mystics...let's pretend they're famous magicians." [Akane]: "First, Crowley said this."

<METADATA> Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Akane]: "Magic is any means of changing the world as you see fit." [Akane]: "He spent a lot of time doing what you'd call magic as well, but going just by that quote, things are pretty simple." [Akane]: "It implies all intentional action qualifies as magic." [Kotarou]: "So it's more like a frame of mind?" [Akane]: "Yes. And in opposition, Fortune said this." [Akane]: "Magic is a revolution of one's consciousness." [Kotarou]: "...hmmmm." [Akane]: "If someone wants to make the world better, and enters politics with a hard enough resolve to make it really happen, then that counts as magic." [Akane]: "In that sense, I'm a magician." [Kotarou]: "This all feels like kind of a stretch." [Akane]: "The truth is, no magician in the world has ever been able to shoot fireballs." [Akane]: "All mystics eventually end up either using some psychological theory to add meaning to their work, or resort to the psychedelic experiences of drugs." [Kotarou]: "So..." [Kotarou]: "How do we explain what happened to me and this shikigami?" [Akane]: "Good question...maybe the environmental hormone theory?" [Kotarou]: "The what?" [Akane]: "Some of the materials used in building houses can affect the human body." [Akane]: "We can't deny the possibility that they're affecting your state of mind." [Kotarou]: "So I'm sucking strange chemicals out of the walls, and they're giving me nightmares...?" [Akane]: "It's not that wild a theory." The witch smiles bewitchingly. [Akane]: "Just rational enough, and just sloppy enough." She continues chuckling to herself. [Kotarou]: "...don't tell me you think all occult stuff can be explained with science." [Akane]: "I do. Most of it can be." [Kotarou]: "...but what happened to me...it's not..." [Akane]: "Don't worry about that. We'll know for sure after some more observation." [Kotarou]: "Mmm..." [Akane]: "I'll resolve your problem somehow. But in exchange..." [Akane]: "I'm going to have to keep surveillance on you." [Kotarou]: "Surveillance?" [Akane]: "Think of yourself as a living research specimen." [Kotarou]: "So I'm going to be treated like a beetle..." [Akane]: "But that should allow us to find out what's going on." [Akane]: "Whether you're interfering in other worlds, or revolutionizing your own mind." [Kotarou]: "Other worlds? Revolutionizing my mind?" [Akane]: "Remember the quotes I brought up earlier?" [Akane]: "Either you're the type to change the world, or the type to strengthen yourself." [Kotarou]: "I'm not sure what you mean." [Akane]: "Then don't worry about it. You'll learn someday, most likely, unless..." [Akane]: "Though if nothing happens, that'd be good news for you." [Kotarou]: "...hm?" I'm losing track of the conversation. [Akane]: "Don't mind me." [Kotarou]: "You sure...?" [Kotarou]: "So this is what the Occult Research Club does." [Akane]: "You mean denying supernatural phenomena?" [Kotarou]: "Yes." [Akane]: "I should probably tell you." [Akane]: "I haven't kept alive the activities of the original Occult Research Club." [Akane]: "I just borrowed the name since it was on the verge of destruction." [Akane]: "This used to be a proper...if that's the appropriate word...group of occult fanatics." [Kotarou]: "...it feels like you're in the exact opposite position." [Akane]: "I guess I am." [Akane]: "I don't like people who flee from reality and make a fuss about magic or aliens or superpowers." Akane the witch gracefully rests one elbow on the table and holds her chin in that hand. [Akane]: "I put together this room as a private meditation space." [Kotarou]: "For video gaming?" [Akane]: "Through magic I obtained power, connections and capital." [Akane]: "I caused a revolution with those, so as I've already explained, I'm performing plenty of magic here." [Kotarou]: "...if you say so." [Kotarou]: "Didn't think the Occult Club president would be such a skeptic." [Akane]: "I'm not really a skeptic. It's just that the vast majority of supernatural claims are people misunderstanding things or deluding themselves." [Akane]: "There are also a lot of unexplained physical phenomena in this world." [Kotarou]: "So the popular things like ghosts are all lies?" [Akane]: "Of course." [Kotarou]: "What if I did some research and found proof that such a thing really did exist?" [Akane]: "I'll get mad at being proven wrong so I'll stubbornly uphold that it was all plasma." [Kotarou]: "...ugh." [Kotarou]: "By the way, my ghost is real." [Akane]: "You've already entrenched yourself. So pitiful." [Kotarou]: ".........mm." [Kotarou]: "Well it sure as hell wasn't the curtains." [Akane]: "What about a stalker?" [Akane]: "Some weirdo is after you for whatever reason, and he plastered himself against your window." [Kotarou]: "My room's on the second floor." [Akane]: "It's still possible to climb up there." [Kotarou]: "Eeeh..." It's just not plausible. [Kotarou]: "You think that nonsense can solve my problem?" [Akane]: "I will fill the gap in your heart and offer it to the gods." [Kotarou]: "That's not what I was after!" [Kotarou]: "Also I don't have any unfulfilled psychological needs." [Akane]: "You know those paranormal shows on TV, right?" [Kotarou]: "Yes." [Akane]: "The random university students they interview who say they believe in ghosts with no evidence whatsoever are the dumbest things I've ever seen." [Kotarou]: "Guaaa..." I've thought something similar. But judging by the flow of the conversation, I'm in the same group... [Akane]: "Makes me wonder why they're even bothering with higher education." [Akane]: "Did you know that raising children's average IQ by one point can save the educational system a tremendous amount of money?" [Akane]: "Likewise, if more idiots breed, the costs skyrocket." [Kotarou]: "...well sorry I'm an idiot." No matter what she says, I can't write off those experiences as an illusion. [Kotarou]: "No, wait..." A number of thoughts connect in my head. [Kotarou]: "Then let's investigate." [Akane]: "Investigate?" [Kotarou]: "This is the occult club, you're a witch, and I've experienced supernatural phenomena." [Kotarou]: "We have a stage, a detective, and a Watson." [Akane]: "...I don't like where this is going." She looks annoyed.

<METADATA> Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Akane]: "That isn't my kind of thing." [Akane]: "But...if you want to do it that badly, go right ahead." [Akane]: "I'll give you some hints at least." [Kotarou]: "You seem confident." [Kotarou]: "You seem convinced that superpowers, UFOs and ghosts don't exist." [Akane]: "Those are little different from religions. Obsessions, even." [Akane]: "Of course there are unidentified flying objects, but they aren't alien spacecraft." [Kotarou]: "There are superpowers." I let it slip. Akane looks disappointed. [Akane]: "...you're not as intellectual as I thought, Tennouji Kotarou." [Kotarou]: "Think whatever you want." [Kotarou]: "I know for a fact they exist." [Akane]: "I see." [Kotarou]: "I'm gonna bring a guy with superpowers in front of you and make you watch him change water in his hat into pigeons." [Akane]: "That's just a magic trick." [Kotarou]: "Then I'll have him hold a colored ball between his fingers and make it magically expand." [Akane]: "Also a trick." [Kotarou]: "Then he'll make a pretty girl float in the air without touching her." [Kotarou]: "And I'll pass a hula hoop over her to prove there are no strings holding her up." [Akane]: "Supermagic is all tricks." [Kotarou]: "...uuu." [Akane]: "Disheartened?" [Kotarou]: "No, superpowers are real...that's a certainty." [Akane]: "Why are you fixated on that one? Do you have superpowers or something?" [Kotarou]: "...no, of course not." [Kotarou]: "Hoho, hohoho." [Akane]: "Why the weird laugh?" [Kotarou]: "I have...information." [Akane]: "About superpowers?" [Kotarou]: "Whether it's superpowers or ghosts or whatever, there must be something." Akane has a devilish smile. [Akane]: "Interesting." [Akane]: "Give it your best shot. If you can prove the existence of real supernatural phenomena..." [Akane]: "I'll give you a hundred yen." [Kotarou]: "That's nothing!!" [Kotarou]: "That's terrifyingly little!" [Akane]: "...hmm." [Akane]: "...three hundred?" [Kotarou]: "Please don't think about amounts that small, you're too rich for that." [Akane]: "Do you have any demands?" [Kotarou]: "Bets aside, I want you to come up with a real solution to my problem." [Akane]: "So we'll assume it's an actual ghost for now." [Kotarou]: "If it's just a curtain, then you can turn me into a beetle or cockroach or whatever." [Akane]: "Good. We have a deal." [Kotarou]: "In exchange, if I prove that ghosts or aliens or superpeople are real...hmm..." [Kotarou]: "I know..." [Kotarou]: "Let me..." [Kotarou]: "Please let me touch your boobs..." Akane immediately glares at me, takes a keyring out of her chest and pulls a pin on it. An explosion rings out. *pipipipipipipipipipi!* Perveeert! Call the police and run to the station! *pipipipipipipipipipi!* Perveeert! Call the police and run to the station! [Kotarou]: "Sh-shut that thing uuuuuuuuuuuup!!" [Akane]: "Throwing away your humanity is equivalent to becoming a pervert." [Kotarou]: "Daaa! Stooop!" [Akane]: "It won't stop until you break it." [Kotarou]: "I'm kidding! It's just a joke!" [Akane]: "It won't stop until it breaks." [Kotarou]: "Dammit!" I snatch her anti-crime buzzer. I stomp on it. The explosions stop. [Kotarou]: "...I wonder if anyone heard that." [Akane]: "This room is completely soundproof." I fall to my knees. [Kotarou]: "...you did that on purpose." [Akane]: "Why do I have to have my chest fondled by the likes of you?" [Kotarou]: "You asked me for a demand...uuu." That scared the crap out of me, you know. [Akane]: "...fine." [Kotarou]: "Huh?" [Akane]: "Ghosts aside, if you can convince me of the existence of the supernatural, you may satisfy your lewd desires." [Kotarou]: "Seriously...?" [Akane]: "You'll never do it, so I don't care." [Kotarou]: "You know that means going out with me, right?" [Akane]: "...it does?" [Kotarou]: "If I'm allowed to touch your boobs, that means we're a couple." [Akane]: "You...you'd go out with someone you've only just met...?" [Kotarou]: "We can just break up if it doesn't work out." [Akane]: "Shouldn't we fall in love before going out at all?" [Kotarou]: "Falling in love later makes it easier to understand each other." Akane looks taken aback, and her eyes fall down to the questionnaire. [Akane]: "...I see, that explains why you gave this answer." [Kotarou]: "?" [Akane]: "There's still time." [Akane]: "Tennouji, you can try investigating as much as you like."

<METADATA> Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> October 9th (Saturday) ...morning. [Kotarou]: (Nothing in particular happened to me...) But I'm still worried, so I can't really call this a refreshing morning. [Kotarou]: (Well, nothing happened...) I'll just go to school as usual. [Kotarou]: "Hey, Ohtori. People like to say "See Naples and die", but seeing Naples won't actually kill you." [Ohtori]: "Obviously." [Kotarou]: "It'd be bad if the expression was "See Naples and you'll die"..." [Ohtori]: "Even if it was, seeing it wouldn't kill anyone." For lunch today, I bought a bentou at a convenience store on the way to school. It's nice having lunch in the classroom for once. Unlike the cafeteria, you don't have to line up or move around at all. So it's much more relaxing. Oh, class rep has a bentou today too? I find class rep rummaging through her bag with her usual disagreeable face. Now, where should I eat... I'll just eat here. [Kotori]: "It's lunchtime!" [Kotori]: "Oh, Kotarou, you have a bentou today?" [Kotarou]: "Yeah, not that I planned to." [Kotarou]: "But it seemed like a good idea at the time." [Kotori]: "It is. Now we can have lunch together." [Kotarou]: "Eh? You want to?" [Kotori]: "Sure." ...that's a nice change of pace. [Kotarou]: "Class rep brought a bentou today too." [Kotori]: "Class rep's bentous are amazing, and I hear she makes them herself." [Kotori]: "She'll be a good bride in the future." [Kotarou]: "Oooh? Will she now?" As one might expect from her, class rep's eating lunch with her back straight, setting an example for the rest of us. She takes lunch just as seriously as any class. Everyone else is moving their desks around and eating casually... Well, if she enjoys doing it that way, I can't complain. I take a peek at her food. Oh......Kotori has a point. [Kotarou]: "Wow, all the parts are different colors and everything. And she makes it herself?" [Kotarou]: "Class rep's amazing." [Kotori]: "She is..." [Kotori]: "I wonder if she'd be my bride..." [Kotarou]: "Do you have any intention of being a bride yourself?" [Kotori]: "I'm very intent on having my own, nihi～" [Kotarou]: "Your bentous are perfect too, Kotori." [Kotarou]: "They're overflowing with the perfection and rigidity I'd expect from Madam Rikako." [Kotarou]: "Those meatball dango brothers packed in like sardines look wonderful." [Kotori]: "What about your bentou, Kotarou?" [Kotori]: "Uwa, it's all red." Yep. At first glance, mine is just a typical mix of fried foods, seaweed and mentaiko. But the color is all wrong. It's clearly too red. Quoth the lid: “Super Spicy Bentou ～Widowmaker～” The slogan is terrible. “You will learn true terror tomorrow. Not suitable for those with hemorrhoids.” [Kotori]: "Sounds like a dangerous bentou..." [Kotori]: "Are you gonna eat it? It might kill you..." [Kotarou]: "Exactly." [Kotarou]: "Men must bring the thrills of risking life and limb into their otherwise lukewarm lunch breaks, or else they become truly sad creatures." [Kotori]: "Did something bad happen to you?" [Kotori]: "Kotori-san's here if you wanna talk about it～" [Kotarou]: "No, no. I haven't fallen so far that I need to talk to you, Kotori." [Kotori]: "Oh my, did you have to say it like that?" Of course, I didn't buy this for myself. Actually, I went to the convenience store this morning because I'd run out of pencil lead. And while I was there, I found this super spicy bentou, and bought it without hesitation. Of course, it's not for me. It's for someone else. [Kotori]: "I can't eat bright red stuff like that." [Kotarou]: "Of course not. If something happened to you, Madam Rikako would kill me." [Kotarou]: "......and, this isn't the end of it." [Kotori]: "Whaaat? What's that little bottle? It's also bright red..." [Kotarou]: "A mysterious pepper sauce I bought at the same convenience store." [Kotarou]: "Handle with care. One drop can turn a full bathtub into super spicy soup. The condiment from hell." [Kotori]: "You might lose weight if you use that in your bath." [Kotarou]: "Yeah, it says you can use it at the table or in the bath." [Kotori]: "What kind of convenience store sells this stuff?" [Kotarou]: "What? You wanna buy some?" [Kotori]: "No. I wanna avoid it." Can't blame her. This stuff is suspicious as hell... I think a lot of the other products were potentially lethal if mishandled. Maybe there's something wrong with the pencil lead I bought too... [Kotarou]: "First, I'll take out the jalapeño poppers, since those look like the spiciest of the lot." [Kotori]: "You've taken them out......put them in my bentou and I'll punch you." [Kotarou]: "These are basically fried jalapeños, by the way." [Kotarou]: "Apparently they're really good if you stuff them with cheese before frying." [Kotarou]: "But these guys are empty, and hollow on the inside. And that's the key." [Kotori]: "The key to what?" [Kotarou]: "Inserting my super spicy pepper sauce!" [Kotori]: "Eh? Eh?" [Kotori]: "Uwaaa...you're gonna fill the jalapeños with that...?" [Kotori]: "Uwa～..." It fills up with the bright red hell sauce. This is no longer a mere fried pepper. This is chemical warfare...! [Kotarou]: "I tried licking this stuff earlier, and it's far spicier than even yesterday's level 17 curry..." [Kotarou]: "Any normal person would be doomed......this time I will make Konohana Lucia call something spicy...!" [Kotori]: "Why class rep?" [Kotori]: "Aaah, that's right, I've heard a rumor that she's good with spicy foods." [Kotarou]: "So it is a rumor." [Kotarou]: "Well, it's true." [Kotarou]: "I've already witnessed the unbelievable results of two experiments on that subject." [Kotarou]: "And I almost died each time." [Kotori]: "Because you licked a girl's plate." [Kotori]: "There are rumors about that too～" [Kotori]: "Is it true, Kotarou-kun?" [Kotarou]: "No, of course not."

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Konohana Lucia | Gender: Female | Aliases: Class Rep </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "More precisely, one might say I needed to analyze the substance adhered to class rep's plate." [Kotori]: "Uwaaa, it was true." [Kotori]: "I told my friends it wasn't...I'll have to go apologize later～" [Kotarou]: "You don't have to, really." [Kotarou]: "Okay, now for your part, Kotori." [Kotori]: "Eeeh? I'm not eating that thing." [Kotarou]: "Not that. Since you're a girl, she won't be suspicious of you." [Kotarou]: "Your role is very simple. Listen......*whisper* *whisper* *whisper*" If I had to describe class rep right now... She's maintaining strict silence. It's like she's wondering whether to copy down things on the board or not. No doubt her elaborate bentou is crying about being eaten so stiffly... My assassin, Kanbe Kotori, sneakily approaches her. [Lucia]: "......*munch* *munch* ......*munch* *munch*" [Kotori]: "Heeey, class rep." [Lucia]: "Oh, Kanbe-san? What is it?" [Kotori]: "Umm, well...I was just thinking your bentous always look so delicious." [Kotori]: "Or so he told me to say." [Lucia]: "He what?" [Kotori]: "N-nothing～..." [Lucia]: "If you say so..." [Lucia]: "You simply came to compliment my bentou...? If so, then thank you." [Lucia]: "I enjoy making mine look as good as possible." [Kotori]: "Y-yes, now about that..." [Kotori]: "I wanted to swap stuff with you～" [Kotori]: "Or so he told me to say. Ahihi～" Kotori smiles in desperation and gives me a thumbs up, indicating she's making headway. She's so terrible at lying. Though that's kind of a good thing. The plan is simple. First, Kotori enters girl-to-girl friend mode and casually offers to exchange food. Then, she gives her the chemical weapon "Red Dead Mad Jalapeño RX-45"! If I brought it to her, no doubt she'd get suspicious and refuse to trade. But she'll let her guard down around Kotori. And in the unlikely event class rep chokes up sobbing from the spiciness, Kotori will be blamed. I'll just pretend to be completely uninvolved. It's the perfect crime! [Lucia]: "......I appreciate the offer, but I must refuse." [Kotori]: "Eeeh? Why?" [Lucia]: "My food may look good, but I am not confident it tastes good. I am too ashamed to willingly give it to another." [Lucia]: "Forgive me for this." [Kotarou]: (...hmmm, so she refused. I didn't expect this...) [Kotori]: "Wh-what do I do, Kotarou-kun～?" [Kotarou]: "Change of plans." [Kotarou]: "You don't need to exchange it for hers, just give it to her as proof of your friendship or something!" [Kotarou]: "...wait, crap." [Lucia]: "......so you were behind this, Tennouji Kotarooooooooooooou..." [Kotarou]: "N-no, no, I'm uninvolved. Just a benevolent third party..." Class rep's face goes red and she shakes with anger, slowly moving toward me. [Lucia]: "Wh-why have you been doing this to me...!? Do you bear some kind of grudge against me!?" [Kotarou]: "No, not at all...if anything I'm fascinated." [Kotarou]: "So much so it surpasses respect and turns to awe......" [Kotori]: "Umm, I think what Kotarou-kun's trying to say is...he wants to make up with you, class rep～" [Lucia]: "Make...up?" I silently thank Kotori and take advantage of her sudden assistance. If I don't make use of this opportunity, I'll end up tasting the classroom's ceiling too. [Kotarou]: "Basically what she said. I've caused a lot of trouble for you these past few days." [Kotarou]: "But they're all misunderstandings." [Lucia]: "Misunderstandings?" [Lucia]: "......wh-......wh-what part of you licking my plate...was a misunderstanding!?" [Lucia]: "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu......filthy filthy filthyyy!!" The girls in the classroom all start whispering. Eeeh? No way! That rumor about Tennouji-kun was true～!? He really is "Boy Who Licked a Girl's Plate - Level 2"! So exciting! So enticing!! *murmur* *murmur* *whisper* *whisper* *squeal* *squeal* *thump* *thump* [Kotarou]: "Sorry. I'm really sorry." [Kotarou]: "But please don't say that with a bright red face and tears in your eyes." [Kotarou]: "I have nothing left, so please forgive me..." [Kotori]: "I don't know what happened, but I'm sure there's a misunderstanding somewhere～" [Kotori]: "Kotarou-kun asked me to do that because he wanted to explain it to you and make up..." [Lucia]: "So that fried pepper you brought was from Tennouji Kotarou...!?" [Lucia]: "I have no interest in this filthy man's filthy food!" [Kotori]: "...that's going a bit far." [Kotori]: "But Kotarou-kun went out of his way to get one of your favorites, class rep." [Lucia]: "My...favorites...?" [Kotori]: "Y-yeah. Don't you like this stuff?" [Kotori]: "Kotarou-kun took a detour on the way to school today just to buy this." [Kotori]: "Just to make up with you." [Lucia]: "......d-did he now?" [Lucia]: "Is this true, Tennouji Kotarou...?" Uwaa...I'm grateful, but my conscience hurts now. [Kotarou]: "Well...something like that." [Kotarou]: "I was kinda embarrassed so I had Kotori ask you." [Kotarou]: "......sorry for being so roundabout..." [Lucia]: "Nn......mm......" Huhuhu, how are you gonna deal with this, Konohana Lucia!? You're not the only one who can say things with a red face and a sad voice to make everyone believe you. After all this, class rep's personality will force her to forgive me. A full frontal apology is the best way of dealing with Holy-type adversaries. Class rep hangs her head with a red face, unsure where to direct her flames of hatred. [Kotori]: "Kotarou-kun's apologized now...forgive him, class rep." [Kotori]: "He even said he only licked your plate because he had to analyze a substance attached to it." [Lucia]: "Fugaaaa!!! Tennouji Kotarou, I will kill youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!" [Kotarou]: "Nuoooooo, Kotori you idiooooooot!"

<METADATA> Name: Konohana Lucia | Gender: Female | Aliases: Class Rep Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "Stop, stop, class rep, don't do that, not the neck, it'll...ugueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh...!" Eeeh? What's going on? *squeal* *squeal* *thump* *thump* You can't tell? This means Tennouji-kun likes class rep～ Aaah, I get it! That's why he did all that! Licking her plate and her recorder and smelling her shoes was all part of a pure, young love! [Lucia]: "Die, die, die, pervert, pervert, animal, animal!!" [Lucia]: "Die, decompose, fertilize some plants and help them lower CO2 levels!!" [Kotarou]: "Fugo, fugigigigigigigigigiii...!!" [Kotarou]: "Stop, stop, you really are gonna crush my throaaaaaaaaaaah...!!" [Lucia]: "T-take that...!!" [Kotarou]: "Agagagagagagaga...! At least let go of my neck...uueee..." Class rep, still bright red from rage and shame, continues strangling me while dragging me out into the hall. Then, only after dragging me far enough that we can't see the classroom anymore, she releases me. [Kotarou]: "*cough!* *cough* *cough* *cough*...!" [Kotarou]: "Class rep, your grip is incredible...you could crush a walnut bare-handed..." [Lucia]: "S-silence!" [Lucia]: "Anyway, I understand that you want to put all of this behind us...!" [Lucia]: "That I will do, if you never do such a disgusting thing ever again! Understand!?" [Kotarou]: "Got it. Nothing ever happened. I didn't mean to upset you." [Kotarou]: "The way you ate that parfait was so captivating...I couldn't help myself." [Lucia]: "C-captivating...!?" She was just about to let me get away with it, but now it feels like I've thrown oil onto the fire. The tongue is the source of all calamity...I'd better be more careful from now on... [Lucia]: "A-anyway..." [Lucia]: "Our classmates have made a grave misunderstanding." [Lucia]: "I will end my quarrel with you today. I trust you have no objections!?" [Kotarou]: "Y-yeah, I'm fine with that." [Kotarou]: "So we've made up now?" [Lucia]: "Yes, that is for the best." [Lucia]: "Once we return to the classroom, our relationship will return to normal." [Lucia]: "And there will be no more of your shenanigans. Understood!?" [Kotarou]: "And you won't turn red and shiver with rage anymore, right?" [Kotarou]: "That's the biggest cause of the misunderstandings." [Lucia]: "What. Did. You. Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...!?" [Kotarou]: "Wait, wait, we're back to normal now!" [Kotarou]: "No anger, no anger, calm down, calm down, it's fine, it's fine!" [Lucia]: "Grrrrrrrrrrrr...!! Garrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........huuu......" She finally cools down. And then, she lets go of me. My collar is all worn-out after being grabbed so many times. She notices that. [Lucia]: "Ah......my apologies." [Lucia]: "...allow me to wash your shirt. I apologize for soiling it." [Kotarou]: "It's not soiled or anything." [Kotarou]: "You've been wearing gloves this whole time after all." [Kotarou]: "There isn't even a fingerprint on it." [Lucia]: "That's not..." [Lucia]: "L-let me wash it. I'll return it to you tomorrow." Class rep's so apologetic now it's hard to believe this is the same girl who almost strangled me in the classroom. ...in class she's the iron fist of absolute justice. I can imagine why she needed to drag me away from the class before lowering her head to me like this. Well, I guess it's kinda cute in a way. [Kotarou]: "Don't worry about it." [Kotarou]: "I have scuffles like this with Yoshino on a daily basis." [Kotarou]: "It's fine. For men a wrinkled uniform is a status symbol." To me this doesn't come close to counting as filth. But maybe it does cross a line of some sort for class rep. I'm not bothered by the idea of her doing that for me, but I don't want our classmates to start whispering about it. Especially if that makes class rep beat the crap out of me again. [Kotarou]: "So that's that. All is forgiven." [Lucia]: "Ah......before we forgive, could I say one thing?" [Kotarou]: "What?" [Lucia]: "Earlier, I said your food was filthy......I am sorry for that." [Lucia]: "......especially after you brought it just to make up with me." [Kotarou]: "Eh? Th-that thing...?" [Kotarou]: "Don't worry about that silly little pepper!" [Kotarou]: "Sorry I assumed you'd like it." [Kotarou]: "I'll get rid of it myself, so don't worry about it." [Lucia]: "I-I cannot allow that..." [Lucia]: "Once we return, I will accept your gift." [Lucia]: "......you were certain I would enjoy it, were you not?" [Kotarou]: "Eh? ......ah, yeah." That wasn't what I was after...now it kinda hurts. [Lucia]: "Thank you...I wanted to convey that gratitude before we went back." For the first time, I see Konohana Lucia smile calmly. Normally her face is always red and twisted with rage. I'd started wondering if that was just what she looked like. So somehow, seeing her normal expression right now...feels very refreshing... After that, we returned to the classroom, looking somewhat unsatisfied. Since my collar was ruffled up, everyone assumed I'd received the iron fist tribunal and pitied me. Which meant no one made fun of us. Lunch break's almost over. Everyone's shifting focus from gossiping about me, to moving to the science room for our next class. [Kotori]: "Hey, Kotarou-kun, welcome back." [Kotori]: "Did you resolve your differences?" [Kotarou]: "K-kinda." [Lucia]: "Kanbe-san, thank you for everything." [Lucia]: "Tennouji and I have resolved our misunderstandings." [Kotori]: "Oooh, good for you." [Kotori]: "So it was worth visiting that weird store after all." [Kotarou]: "Ha...hahahaha..." [Kotori]: "Kotarou-kun, why don't you take something from class rep too, as a sign of friendship?" [Kotori]: "An exchange feels much more friendly than a gift." [Kotarou]: "Good idea. Class rep's bentou does look good." [Kotarou]: "You sure you don't want to reconsider trading?" [Lucia]: "Mm........." That certainly makes sense given we're supposed to be making up via gifts of food. Flattery aside, class rep's bentou does actually look tasty.

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Konohana Lucia | Gender: Female | Aliases: Class Rep Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> Though it feels kinda bad asking for some of her food in exchange for my jalapeño bomb, which is basically a practical joke. Class rep also seems a little happy about that idea. But she closes her eyes and shakes her head. [Lucia]: "......sorry, but you'll have to forgive me. The seasoning is far from typical." [Lucia]: "I'll treat you to something at some later date, so forgive me for today." [Kotarou]: "I see. Well, I look forward to it then." [Lucia]: "Thank you." I get thanked even though I haven't done anything. ...heh. Guess I'm a Holy-type after all. I'm also pretty weak to full frontal apologies. [Lucia]: "I will gladly accept your fried pepper, Tennouji." She smiles, picks it up with her chopsticks, and carries it to her mouth... I designed that pepper with the intention of overpowering her, the queen of spice. Though after what just happened I really hope it doesn't do that. I'll just have to pray her spice tolerance far surpasses my imagination. But still, that thing has some serious power...! That red spice bomb crosses the line from food to weapon...will she really be able to eat it...? [Lucia]: "......*munch* *munch*......*munch* *munch* *swallow*" [Kotori]: "H-how was it...? Did you like it...?" [Lucia]: "This is quite unusual. What is it exactly?" [Kotori]: "A jalapeño popper, I think?" [Kotori]: "Basically a fried jalapeño with some of Kotarou-kun's special secret flavoring." [Kotarou]: "...h-how was it......?" [Kotarou]: "I-if you start feeling sick or anything, feel free to spit it out..." [Kotarou]: "Don't force yourself just because of your pride as queen..." [Lucia]: "Queen? What are you talking about?" [Lucia]: "Didn't you prepare this specifically for me, Tennouji?" [Lucia]: "Spitting it out would be beyond rude." [Kotarou]: "Eh? ......eeeeeeeh!?" [Kotarou]: "So you mean, it tasted f-fine...!?" [Lucia]: "It was rather spicy, being a jalapeño...but it was delicious." [Lucia]: "Thank you, Tennouji Kotarou." [Kotarou]: "Ha...hahahahaha..." [Kotori]: "Good for you, Kotarou-kun...!" I can't tell exactly why Kotori thinks this is good. Still, I'm extremely relieved. And at the same time, flabbergasted. At this point, any expression of surprise feels insufficient. [Kotarou]: "......ha, fine, I give up." Even the title of "Queen of Spice" feels trivial before that performance. Maybe "Goddess of Spice"? ...I certainly can't beat a goddess. I'll have to give up on this. And then, the door opens. [Teacher]: "Ah, class rep. Could you spare a minute?" [Lucia]: "Coming, sensei...sorry, I have to go." [Lucia]: "Don't be late for physics." Class rep says something befitting her position before heading out to the hall. And then, the bell rings, signaling the end of lunch. All my classmates stand up, and begin moving to the physics room. [Kotori]: "I'm going on ahead～ Don't be late." [Kotarou]: "Hey now, gimme a second to finish throwing things away." [Kotori]: "Noooo, I'm not spoiling you～" Kotori puts her textbooks away in no time and leaves without waiting for me to put my bentou away. Why do you have to be so cold? Uuuuuuuuuuuu, growls my stomach. Come to think of it, I haven't actually eaten anything... [Kotarou]: "All I have is this "Widowmaker" bentou..." [Kotarou]: "......I'm such an idiot." [Kotarou]: "I was so focused on class rep I forgot to get any food for myself." I try nibbling on what looks like the least spicy part, the lotus root, but even that's too much. The hole's filled with mustard, so it has enough destructive power to make me gag. ...I'd better give up on eating this myself. [Kotarou]: "I'm just wasting time with this thing. I need to get moving." [Kotarou]: "Gonna have to skip lunch today..." I gather all my textbooks, and start heading to the physics room......and then my eyes land on class rep's bentou. ...she acted weird about it earlier, but maybe I could sneak a bite while she's away? Then I look inside, and realize it's already empty. Damn. I'm still curious about it though. If she cooked it herself, it must have an interesting personal flavor. Come to think of it, she did use that as her reason not to exchange anything with me... [Kotarou]: "......there's no way she eats stuff that spicy on a daily basis, right...?" [Kotarou]: "Hmm, it is a possibility......" Spiciness is the sort of thing that becomes less satisfying the more you get used to it. Class rep ate that weaponized jalapeño popper as if it was actually delicious. Her spiciness tolerance is clearly far beyond that of any normal human being. [Kotarou]: "It almost feels like she should be taking on apprentices." [Kotarou]: "I wonder if she could help me learn to endure the cafeteria's level 10 curry..." [Kotarou]: "That'd be pretty amazing." I pick up class rep's bentou. The box is empty, but it should still have a smell. Hopefully a very spicy one. That might give me a glimpse into her incredible powers...! When I bring the box up to my nose, I hear a small thwap. It's the sound of class rep dropping a magazine on the floor after returning to the classroom. [Kotarou]: "I surrender. Please allow me to address you as "master" from now on." [Lucia]: "Y-y-y-you were......about to......lick...my........." [Kotarou]: "No, this time I really wasn't going to. Can I call Kotori-san here to be my lawyer?" [Kotarou]: "I can't? Corpses don't have a right to a lawyer? I see. So this is the end of Tennouji Kotarou. I understand." [Lucia]: "Die die pervert pervert filthy filthy filthy filthy enemy of women beast animal!! Tennouji Kotarooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooou!!" Your title has changed to "Boy Who Licked a Girl's Plate - Level 3"! [Kotarou]: "Uuuuu..." [Kotori]: "Kotarou-san, what happened to you? Should I take you to the nurse's room?" [Kotarou]: "The bathroom..." [Kotarou]: "If I don't go now, I won't make it until fifth period..." [Kotori]: "So tough." [Kotarou]: "Where would be a nice place to eat..." I kinda feel like eating alone right now. I'll go eat a bentou in the courtyard. Doing this once in a while is pretty nice. [Kotarou]: "...hm?" A silhouette cuts across the courtyard.

<METADATA> Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Akira Inoue | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Touka Nishikujou | Gender: Female </METADATA> [Nishikujou]: "Hm-hm-hmm～♪" Nishikujou-sensei's happily heading to the rear of the school. [Kotarou]: "What's she doing...?" I decide to follow. [Nishikujou]: "Huhu...uhuhuhu..." ...she crouches down in front of a small shed and smiles. [Kotarou]: "......?" Let's get closer. [Nishikujou]: "?" She notices me immediately and turns around. [Nishikujou]: "O-oh-oh-oh my." [Kotarou]: "Sensei, what are you doing?" [Nishikujou]: "Don't tell anyone～" She suddenly cries. [Kotarou]: "...okay." There's a puppy sleeping in a little bed inside the shed. She's hiding this...? [Kotarou]: "You really are in elementary school..." [Nishikujou]: "But I can't keep it at home..." [Nishikujou]: "I'm gonna find an owner today, so please don't tell anyone～" [Kotarou]: "I wasn't going to..." She's weak against a lot of things... During break time, I receive a call. [Kotarou]: "Hello, this is Tennouji." [Editor]: "This is Ansai, editor for the Monthly Terra Magazine." [Kotarou]: "Ah, I see...thanks for calling." [Ansai]: "Are you free right now?" [Kotarou]: "Yes, go ahead." [Ansai]: "About the job..." [Kotarou]: "Y-yes?" I straighten my back for some reason. [Ansai]: "We've decided...we would like to hire you." [Kotarou]: "Really? Thank you very much!" [Ansai]: "You said you preferred writing articles to having a steady editor's salary, right?" [Kotarou]: "Yes." [Ansai]: "I understand. That's probably more interesting for a young man like you." [Ansai]: "We have a quick training course on how to write articles for us. You can borrow equipment from us or use your own." [Kotarou]: "Understood." [Ansai]: "The course is like a small lecture, so you can come in for it anytime." [Kotarou]: "Okay." [Kotarou]: "Again, thank you very much." They hired me. Now I'm a newbie freelance writer. After ending the call and turning back to class, someone greets me. [Inoue]: "Hi, Tennouji-kun." [Kotarou]: "Inoue...?" [Inoue]: "Are you free right now?" [Kotarou]: "Yes." [Inoue]: "Lemme check something." [Inoue]: "Tennouji-kun, you can talk to anyone pretty easily, but..." [Inoue]: "Kanbe Kotori is your only close friend, and Yoshino-kun's reason for hating you has something to do with her." She sucks on the juice pack in her hand. [Inoue]: "Wa! My notes are getting wet!" [Kotarou]: "That's invasion of privacy! Don't do that!" [Inoue]: "I can't. I look these things up unconsciously." [Kotarou]: "Are you the devil...?" This must be the type of person who leaks the names of murderers. [Inoue]: "But...it's not enough..." Her eyes suddenly harden. Inoue speaks with an emotionless face, and a mechanical yet bizarre voice. [Inoue]: "...I can investigate much deeper...if I try harder..." [Inoue]: "...when will I unleash my true potential?" She tilts her head to one side, creepily. [Kotarou]: "I'm scared!" [Kotarou]: "Whatever you are, please don't awaken." [Inoue]: "Illegal en-..." [Kotarou]: "Still not true." [Kotarou]: "Give that up already. You're just gonna start an annoying rumor." [Kotarou]: "Is that all? I've gotta go now." [Inoue]: "Ah, wait." [Inoue]: "I hear you joined the Occult Research Club?" [Kotarou]: "You reaaaaaaaally hear about things fast, don't you...?" [Inoue]: "I can uncover anything...if the information exists, then I can and will..." [Kotarou]: "Stop with those eyes. You look like you've abandoned all human emotion." [Inoue]: "I can dig up dirt on anyone...even God himself..." [Kotarou]: "I've heard a similar line before." [Kotarou]: "...please don't investigate things maliciously." [Inoue]: "I-I'm not...I don't even use listening devices, really!" [Inoue]: "Really, really..." [Kotarou]: "...I see." [Inoue]: "Yes, you do!" [Kotarou]: (I'm gonna have to check my stuff later...) [Inoue]: "Hey, you know the Occult Research Club has gone through some huge changes?" [Kotarou]: "So I've heard." [Kotarou]: "I don't know the details though." [Inoue]: "You've met the witch of the school, yes?" [Kotarou]: "Yeah, but she doesn't want me talking about her too much." [Inoue]: "So it seems." She slides back. [Inoue]: "The witch of the school...too dangerous to approach without preparations." [Inoue]: "No doubt she hasn't given the likes of Tennouji-kun any valuable information." [Kotarou]: "Don't underestimate my priority level!" [Inoue]: "How high is it?" [Kotarou]: "L-listen to this. I am...a research specimen." [Inoue]: "..."below pet status"." She makes a note. [Kotarou]: "Damn iiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" [Inoue]: "Well, that sounds about right." [Kotarou]: "If that's all, then I'm going." [Inoue]: "One last thing." [Kotarou]: "What?" [Inoue]: "...rivals." [Kotarou]: "Huh...?" [Inoue]: "You're being threatened by the mysteries of Kazamatsuri, aren't you?" [Kotarou]: "Mysteries? ...it's more like paranormal phenomena." [Inoue]: "Then you're looking for the same stories I am." [Inoue]: "As competing journalists, let's have an open rivalry!" She puts one hand to her hip and smirks. [Kotarou]: "What's that supposed to mean...?" [Inoue]: "It means I'm looking forward to the new Occult Club's activities." [Inoue]: "Bye." [Kotarou]: "Dammit, a weirdo's got me in her sights now..." [Kotarou]: "Hey, any plans for today? Let's go on a date." [Kotori]: "NO." [Kotori]: "I have an autograph event to go to." One of Kotori's jokes. They aren't very good. [Kotori]: "My fans are waiting in the Budokan." [Kotarou]: "Cancel it." [Kotori]: "...I can't betray my fans."

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School </METADATA> [Kotori]: "They've supported me since my indie debut." [Kotarou]: "Since when are you selling something...?" If I push too hard she'll actually run away. I'd better stop there. [Kotori]: "So what about the ghost stuff?" [Kotarou]: "...Saburou gave his life to protect me." [Kotori]: "Saburou?" [Kotarou]: "He was so good to me..." I push the corners of my eyes. These aren't tears. My eyes are just leaking. [Kotarou]: "That's right, I've gotta go to my club." She looks blankly at me. [Kotori]: "Kotarou-kun, you're in a club!?" [Kotarou]: "Ah...I joined the Occult Club." [Kotarou]: "Though it's not an official club so apparently there's no paperwork involved." [Kotori]: "No way." [Kotarou]: "I've met the witch." [Kotori]: "Oooooh...!" [Kotori]: "What's she like?" [Kotarou]: "...she's screwy." [Kotori]: "Eh?" [Kotarou]: "Wanna meet her?" [Kotori]: "Oooooh?" I bring Kotori with me to the club room. [Akane]: "...who's this?" [Kotarou]: "Kotori." [Kotarou]: "She's small but powerful." [Akane]: "Is she your significant other?" [Kotarou]: "Yes." [Kotori]: "No." [Akane]: "...you seem to be in disagreement." [Akane]: "I take it you aren't going out?" [Kotarou]: "We are." [Kotori]: "We're not." [Akane]: "She seems opposed to the idea." [Akane]: "So does that mean you're friends?" [Kotarou]: "Yes. She's my childhood friend and classmate." [Kotori]: "I'm Kanbe Kotori. Pleased to meet you and good afternoon." [Akane]: "...Senri Akane." [Kotori]: "This should be fun." [Akane]: "...Tennouji, could you explain why you brought an outsider here?" [Kotarou]: "It has to do with our agreement yesterday." [Kotarou]: "Is it all right if Kotori helps me?" [Akane]: "That's a troubling proposition." [Kotori]: "What's going on?" She tilts her head alone. [Kotarou]: "I had to enter the Occult Club so she could help with my ghost problems." [Kotori]: "You did? Why?" [Kotarou]: "Why...?" [Kotori]: "Why do you need to join the club, Kotarou-kun?" [Kotarou]: "She says I'm a fascinating specimen." [Kotarou]: "You know how the mad scientist looks at the protagonist and says they're a fascinating specimen?" [Kotori]: "Does that happen a lot?" [Kotarou]: "So, I want to investigate various supernatural phenomena here." [Kotori]: "As club activities?" [Kotarou]: "Yes! Exactly!" [Kotarou]: "This is all for the club." [Akane]: "You're not going to explain the part about my chest?" [Kotarou]: "...uu!" [Kotori]: "Chest?" [Kotarou]: "Well, just...you know." [Kotori]: "What...does...her chest...have to do with this?" [Kotarou]: "It's just the flat part in the middle, by the way, so there's nothing erotic about it." [Akane]: "Really? That's enough for you?" [Kotarou]: "Of course not!" [Kotori]: "Which is it?" [Kotarou]: "Uuu!" [Kotarou]: "Huhi..." [Kotarou]: "Huhihihi!?" [Kotori]: "Kotarou-kun broke!" [Akane]: "We completely cornered him." In the end, I had no choice but to explain the deal. [Kotori]: "...you promised that?" She's shaking. [Kotarou]: "Well, you know, in the heat of the moment, it was just a joke, so..." [Akane]: "Didn't you say we'd go out if you proved it?" [Kotarou]: "Uhihihi!" I feel cold sweat. [Kotarou]: "Th-th-th-that was just metaphorical...I'm the pure love type, so it's the same thing for me." I move Kotori away from Akane and explain myself. [Kotarou]: "So it's just a joke...it's not like I'm hitting on every girl I see or anything." Kotori thinks, then raises her head. [Kotori]: "...I have to ask how that happened when you came here to get rid of a ghost." [Kotarou]: "She's the one who told me to join the club..." [Kotori]: "Yes, but you still don't gain anything from doing club activities, do you?" [Kotarou]: "This Senri Akane person has a lot of money and power." [Kotarou]: "It's good to make friends with people like this." [Kotarou]: "If we hang out with her, we'll have connections in the future." [Kotori]: "That's dark." [Kotori]: "You just want to use her..." [Kotori]: "Such evil." [Kotarou]: "She says we can use this place however we want." An invisible tail springs up from behind Kotori. [Kotori]: "That's a rather appealing idea." [Kotarou]: "Right?" Especially for us outcasts... [Kotori]: "So what's she really like?" [Kotarou]: "...she's got some issues, but she's not bad at heart." [Kotori]: "She is?" [Kotori]: "Anyway, this seems fine." [Kotarou]: "You think so?" [Kotori]: "I think this fits you better than any dignified club, Kotarou-kun." [Akane]: "This isn't like a sports club, that's for sure." [Kotarou]: "True...I wouldn't be able to handle being on a strictly regimented team..." [Kotori]: "I'm fine with helping." [Kotarou]: "Thanks." [Kotarou]: "So, you heard her." I look at Akane. [Akane]: "She might leak what she learns here to other parties." [Kotarou]: "You think she can't keep a secret?" [Kotarou]: "I wouldn't worry about that." She has no other friends, after all. [Kotarou]: "We need more people, please." [Akane]: "...mmm." She presses her fingers against her forehead and thinks for a while. [Akane]: "Do whatever you want." [Kotarou]: "Yay." Kotori and I brofist. [Kotori]: "President-san, I look forward to helping with your club." Kotori joins the Occult Research Club. [Kotori]: "Tea's ready." Cups of green tea are handed out. [Kotarou]: "Thank you." [Kotori]: "Here's yours, President-san." [Akane]: "...thanks."

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> After handing us the tea, she stands still and gazes at Akane. [Akane]: "...what's wrong?" [Kotori]: "Umm...how's the tea?" She brings the cup to her mouth. [Akane]: "It's good." [Kotori]: "It is? Thank goodness." [Kotarou]: (I guess some awkwardness is inevitable...) Time should solve that. Kotori sits down in front of me. [Kotori]: "So how exactly are we going to investigate things?" [Kotori]: "What supernatural phenomena are we even looking for?" [Kotarou]: "Superpowers, of course. Also magic, UFOs, aliens, and unidentified mysterious animals." [Kotarou]: "Ancient supercivilizations, ghosts, curses, charms, and of course any government conspiracies revolving around them." [Kotori]: "That's a pretty incoherent assortment." [Kotarou]: "This town has a lot of weird urban legends." [Kotarou]: "It's well worth investigating." [Kotori]: "Maybe." [Kotarou]: "Prez, do you have anything lying around from when the old club was active?" [Akane]: "Plenty." [Akane]: "The cardboard boxes over there are filled with their stuff." [Akane]: "And the bookshelves have several of their books." [Kotarou]: "Mind if we start looking through them?" [Akane]: "Go ahead." [Kotarou]: "Okay, let's see what our ancestors left for us." [Akane]: "...try not to make a mess." So... [Kotarou]: "Daaa!" After a lengthy battle with dusty boxes and old documents... We found nothing useful. I'm already past my limit. [Kotori]: "Wanna take a break?" [Kotarou]: "Yes...I'm exhausted..." Kotori brings us tea again. [Kotarou]: "Thanks..." [Kotarou]: "What about you? Are you tired?" [Kotori]: "Only a little." [Kotori]: "This is surprisingly fun." [Kotarou]: "Really?" [Kotori]: "The Occult Club is amazing." [Kotori]: "It's been around since the Shouwa era." [Kotarou]: "Oh yeah, that pamphlet was from back then." [Kotarou]: "The paper's even degraded by now." [Akane]: "That paper might be older than you two." [Kotori]: "Ooooooh...incredible." [Kotarou]: "It even has a yellow tint...you might be right..." In addition to pamphlets and special papers, the boxes are filled with piles of stuff unrelated to the Occult Club. We needed to selectively extract the Occult Club-related papers, like carefully digging out a fossil. After spending all that time, I've only made it through one box. [Kotarou]: "So between me and Kotori, only two boxes..." Then I look toward Kotori. [Kotori]: "Sorry, I haven't finished half of this one." [Kotarou]: "...aaah." [Kotori]: "These old papers are so interesting I just end up reading them all." [Kotarou]: "Are they now?" I pick one up. The way they bind their pamphlets changes depending on the era of publication. Many of them are just single sheets, or simply stapled together. Sometimes serious occult research is discussed, but other times it's more like a club diary. The tone of the club seems different in different eras. Numerically speaking, most of the papers are some kind of club diary. And that's the worst part. "Yapii～ This is the Occult Club Prez, Lumi-pyooon!" "How's everyone been lately?" "A magic punch right through your heart! It's time for another edition of "The Occult Club's Magical World"!" "Though this isn't a radio program or anything, so it's up to you when you read it! It! It! (Echo～)" "The entertainment world's been having a lot of ups and downs lately." "Eh? There's a rumor that Purple SIKIBU's Shitsufune-sama (16yo) is seeing the idol Takaya Yui? No way! I can't believe it, no, no, no, no, I won't believe it!" "...and thus Lumi-pi has been staining her pillow with tears every night. That's it for recent news!" "Nooow then, the Occult Club (you're changing topics too quickly!) is going to hold its regular dice tea party after school on May 8th～!" "Only girls can join in! Participation costs one hundred yen!" "Last month a lot of stuff happened and it got canceled, but this time around...let's make it happen normally! (Only normally!?)" "Next time we'll talk about...well, dice...the six sides are love, school, entertainment, hobbies, manga, anime, and food!" "Everyone, make sure you bring enough stories so you can talk about any of them～" "Feel free to bring your own food and tea! Be sure to have fun!" [Kotarou]: "...so this is Shouwa." Not only the writing style, but the self-portrait in the corner feel extremely old-fashioned. This is what really old shoujo manga is like. It's like I've gone back in time... [Kotarou]: "This is fun...?" [Kotori]: "It's calming." [Kotarou]: "Calming...?" [Kotori]: "But they're not talking about occult stuff at all." [Kotarou]: "You're right. There's just the occasional bit of fortunetelling." [Kotarou]: "This is basically just some girls writing a diary." [Kotarou]: "I feel like I'm losing brain cells the more I read this." [Kotori]: "Really? But you can feel how much fun they're having." [Kotarou]: "You know, the people who wrote this might be as old as your mom, maybe even your grandma." I know for a fact that Purple SIKIBU disbanded a long time ago. I heard they used to rule all of Japan, but that's before any of us were born. [Kotori]: "That's pretty incredible." [Kotori]: "Should we try organizing these by year?" [Kotarou]: "Why?" [Kotori]: "Because they're precious memories?" [Akane]: "How do you know anyone's ever going to read them?" [Kotori]: "It doesn't matter." [Kotori]: "I want them in order." [Akane]: "...I see." [Kotarou]: "If you enjoy doing it, Kotori, go for it." [Kotori]: "Yep, it's fun." The boxes get stacked up beyond reason in the corner of the room. If an earthquake happens one of us might die. There's twenty...no, thirty boxes in that tower now. It's all chaotic and devoid of information. But we did learn one thing. The old Occult Club was definitely active. [Kotarou]: "Might be better to read these things after you're done organizing them, Kotori..." [Kotarou]: "Then I might be able to plow through them." [Kotori]: "That's a lot of patience." [Kotori]: "There's a ton of misprints and other garbage here too." [Kotori]: "It's just a big mess." [Kotarou]: "Whoever put them in these boxes didn't try to organize it at all."

<METADATA> Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "There's even some really old test papers in here." [Kotori]: "But why does the Occult Club go that far back?" [Kotori]: "Did Kazamatsuri Academy even exist in Shouwa?" [Akane]: "It didn't." [Akane]: "This is from the girl's school that was here before." [Kotarou]: "Wow, I'd never heard about that." [Akane]: "Apparently there was nothing special about the old school." [Akane]: "They made Kazamatsuri Academy out of it by making it co-ed, reorganizing the staff and curriculum, and renovating the buildings." [Akane]: "I assume the Occult Research Club came along with it." [Kotori]: "...so these pamphlets are all from girls who lived through that." [Kotarou]: "Hmmmm..." I lie down on the sofa. I try to take advantage of the situation and rest my head on Kotori's thigh. [Kotori]: "Oh no you don't. Nice try, Lupin." She evades me with legendary skill. [Kotarou]: "...damn." [Kotarou]: "You're not supposed to do that unless you're a glamorous idol of some kind." [Kotarou]: "The minimum qualifications are a 90cm bust, a 55cm waist and 80cm hips." [Kotori]: "What!?" She fondles her own chest. [Kotori]: "...I'll wait three more years then." [Kotarou]: "You think that'll be enough?" [Kotori]: "Bon-kyu-boon." She seems to think it will be. [Kotori]: "Oooh!" She quivers. [Kotori]: "I have to go to a recording soon!" [Kotarou]: "More of your fictional fan service?" [Kotori]: "No, just canning my voice..." [Kotori]: "...while sitting on the can!" Aaah, Kotori's jokes are so terrible... [Kotori]: "Aha!" [Kotori]: "I made a pun! Are you amazed!?" [Kotarou]: "...yeah." *maximum apathy* [Kotori]: "Excuse me～♪" Kotori happily takes a bathroom break. I relax. [Kotarou]: (Now, what next...) I want to do something constructive with my life. So this is perfect. It might even be worth spending more time on this than my job. It fits my needs perfectly. And Kotori's here too. And Akane...she seems interesting. [Kotarou]: (...this isn't bad.) It never occurred to me before. Instead of finding a place where I belong, I can make one myself. Could we bring even more people in here? Even the most peaceful class has one or two loners. And they're not necessarily bad people. Like me, Kotori, maybe even Yoshino. I could bring people like that together... Since we all stand out, we should just form our own group. [Kotarou]: (Otherwise we'll all waste our youth...) I glance at Akane. She's also alone. I can tell. I'm in my second year. Considering I have to prepare for exams next year, I don't have much free time left. I want to do something that I won't ever be able to do again. [Kotarou]: (There are three of us here after all...) I get an idea. I tear myself off of the sofa. [Kotarou]: "Prez, do we have a website?" [Akane]: "You mean the club's blog space?" [Kotarou]: "Yeah, that." [Akane]: "Those are for enthusiast clubs, not research clubs." [Kotarou]: "I know that, but..." [Kotarou]: "I guess it was a stupid question." [Akane]: "Wait a minute." She makes a phone call. Ten minutes later. We are informed that a private space on the school website has been procured for us. [Kotarou]: "...your black (political) magic is amazing." [Akane]: "I'd like to know what you plan to do with it." [Kotarou]: "I just figured I'd put all the stuff we found up on a blog..." [Akane]: "You "just figured"...haa..." [Akane]: "Whatever. There's a spare laptop over there, so do whatever you want with it." [Akane]: "This room has wifi. I've already sent you the ID and password in a text message." [Kotarou]: "Thanks." I turn it on and try to access the school website. It works. Our Occult Club blog. Hooray. It's still blank though. [Kotarou]: "I'm looking forward to this." [Kotarou]: "This should make the club much more satisfying. Thanks boss." She returns to her book, uninterested. [Kotarou]: (Oh well...at least she got the site for us.) [Akane]: "We'll see how much information you're capable of gathering." [Kotarou]: "Mm..." [Kotarou]: "...so, we have a blog..." I have no experience managing a personal site. But I'm not putting it together from scratch, so once I write the text I should be able to figure it out. My aspirations are as follows. Enjoy my youth in club activities →Gather information →Send useful stuff to the magazine →Prove supernatural phenomena →Touch Akane's boobs [Kotarou]: "...it's perfect." Such synergy. It's absolutely flawless. [Kotarou]: (...have I already secured victory?) Then, I notice. The internet is good for occult stuff. Blogs are fun to read, and it's easy to gather information. If you set up a youkai post box in real life, you probably wouldn't get any letters from people with real supernatural problems. And even if you did, it's unlikely you'd be able to do anything with them. My name might resemble that of a certain uneducated person famous for doing that, but no more... We will focus on bright, fun, casual occultism! [Kotarou]: "...there." I feel the change brought about by modern technology. I become engrossed in tweaking the blog. [Kotori]: "I'm back!" [Kotori]: "Aaaah, the voice training really paid off today～" [Kotori]: "The director was so excited he tied his cardigan around his neck and went all serious." [Kotori]: "...so what're you doing?" [Kotori]: "Heeey." [Kotori]: "Punch." [Kotarou]: "...soft!" Something hits my head, but it's soft. [Kotarou]: "Is that you, Kotori? ...did you just punch me?" [Kotori]: "That punch was only 20% of my true strength." [Kotarou]: "No way." [Kotori]: "Next time I might use 50%." [Kotarou]: "Your punches do nothing but heal, so don't talk about yourself like a final boss." [Kotori]: "That's not true." [Kotarou]: "Soft!" I can't help but shout. These punches feel too good... [Kotori]: ""Impossible! How can she do that much damage with only 50%!?"...is what you just thought, right?" [Kotarou]: "I think my stomach ulcer healed." [Kotori]: "Oooooh!" [Kotori]: "Is that a website?"

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "Yeah, we have a club blog now." [Kotarou]: "Currently under construction." [Kotori]: "Wooow, you've really got the mood right." Kotori is impressed by the design I worked hard on (though it's just one of the default templates). [Kotarou]: "I think this is close to what we want. What about you?" [Kotori]: "Hmmmm, it's a bit hard to read." [Kotori]: "Since it's red text on black." [Kotarou]: "Eh? Really?" [Kotori]: "My eyes get kinda twitchy." [Kotori]: "Why not use a white background?" [Kotarou]: "...I kinda wanted to give it a horror vibe." [Kotori]: "Then either use less text or use a bigger font." [Kotarou]: "Less text on a blog is kinda bad..." [Kotarou]: "Guess I can increase the font size." [Kotori]: "And overall it's kind of a mess. Try to make it easier to tell how it's organized." [Kotarou]: "Eh? Could you be more precise?" [Kotori]: "You know, like this part..." Fifteen minutes later... We get a decent design worked out. [Kotarou]: "...I think this is about right." [Kotori]: "Yeah, that looks great. No one would complain about posting on this blog." [Kotori]: "Now go upload it." [Kotarou]: "No, we don't have any articles." Right now it's filled with rows of "The quick brown fox...". [Kotori]: "Do you know what you want to put on it?" [Kotarou]: "I need to introduce the club...and ask for people to post information. Those are the main things." [Kotori]: "It's a blog, so why not be more casual?" [Kotarou]: "But..." I get twitchy. [Kotori]: "What's wrong?" [Kotarou]: "...it's embarrassing." [Kotori]: "Men must have nerves of steel." [Kotori]: "Just write whatever you feel like." [Kotarou]: "I'm not mentally prepared for that..." I get even twitchier. [Kotori]: "But then you'll never get your blog started." [Kotori]: "You're gonna have to update it a lot, so don't get hung up on the first post." [Kotarou]: "But...still..." [Kotarou]: "It's embarrassing having other people see it." I'm twitching so much I'll end up looking like that weird twisty kind of bread. [Kotarou]: "But I can't post bad content and make the blog go up in flames...haha." [Kotarou]: "So I'll upload it next week...no, by next month I should be able to estimate when I'll have the necessary experience to..." Kotori smiles brightly. A smile of love, filled with mercy. [Kotori]: "Push♪" [Kotarou]: "Hiii!" Her smile is terrifying. [Kotori]: "No fidgeting, no twitching." [Kotori]: "And no fidgetching!" [Kotarou]: "Uu..." [Kotori]: "Write!" [Kotarou]: "I'll write!" I write. [Kotarou]: "I'm done writing!" [Kotori]: "Upload!" [Kotarou]: "Uploading!" I upload it without any revision. [Kotarou]: "Waaaah! I just wrote random crap and uploaded it without thinking!" [Kotori]: "That's fine, it's just a blog." [Kotori]: "Lemme see what you wrote." She looks at the freshly uploaded blog post. "Hello everybody～ This is the Occult Club Mission Chief, Tennouji-san♪" "The Occult Research Club (Occ☆lub for short) is going to become active again!" "Yaaay! Hip, hip, hooray! Three cheers for the occult!" "Celebrate! Rejoice! We have finally returned!" "The Occ☆lub has been reformed around a platoon of the most energetic idiots!" "We will unravel all sorts of mysterious urban legends lurking in Kazamatsuri!" "Although I am not the most dependable Chief, I want to make one request of our readers." "Tell us about any weird things which happen to you or which you hear about from other people!" "The Occlub's elite investigative team will search for the truth behind your stories!" "We're expecting some awesome stories from all of you!" "Take a look at the submission form (link below) ay-es-ay-pi!" [Kotarou]: "H-how is it? What did I write exactly?" [Kotarou]: "It was kinda a stream of consciousness so I don't remember most of it." [Kotori]: "Kotarou-kun, this blog..." [Kotori]: "How to describe it...I think..." [Kotarou]: "Yes?" [Kotori]: "It looks reaaaaaally fun!" [Kotarou]: "Seriously? Yay! Think I can win?" [Kotori]: "You can, you can. You've practically won already." [Kotarou]: "No, no, we can't proclaim our victory just yet. We'll make ourselves overconfident." [Kotarou]: "Don't make me climb the Pinnochio tengu mountain range lurking in everyone's hearts!" [Kotori]: "It's good to have some confidence." [Kotarou]: "I can't believe it...writing that blindly actually produced something satisfactory." [Kotarou]: "Maybe I uncovered some hidden talent." [Kotori]: "Kotori-san is amazed at your literary prowess, Kotarou-kun." [Kotori]: "Even your parents who never come home from work would scream "Excellent!" in their offices and start dancing." [Kotarou]: "Shut up, you're making me blush!" I scribble in my humble Occ☆lub notebook (made out of useless paper in the boxes). [Kotarou]: "Gotta practice my autograph..." [Kotori]: "Too soon!" [Kotarou]: "Oh crap! You're right!" [Akane]: "...is it really that amazing? That idiot couldn't possibly have any talent..." *flop* Akane's head falls to the desk. [Kotarou]: "Oh, Senri-san, what's wrong?" [Akane]: "I feel like vomiting..." [Kotarou]: "We can't have that. Let our new website put your heart at ease." [Kotarou]: "It's been appraised as a site so amazing it can bring back the dead." [Akane]: "...I hope you reread this years from now and commit suicide from the shame." [Kotarou]: "Now then, since we've got the site up, let's organize this some more." [Kotori]: "I'll help." [Kotarou]: "There's a long road ahead of us. Let's cautiously hurry." [Kotori]: "Yep, let's slowly rush." [Kotarou]: "Uuuuuuu...so this is what exhaustion feels like." [Kotori]: "I'm a bit tired too." [Kotori]: "Want some tea?" [Kotarou]: "Please." [Kotori]: "You, Prez?" [Akane]: "I'm fine."

<METADATA> Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School </METADATA> [Kotori]: "Here, Kotarou-kun." [Kotarou]: "Thanks." Tea is so good when you're tired... [Akane]: "It's almost six." [Akane]: "You have to go home by six thirty." A rule of the school. [Akane]: "Poor people go home at six thirty." [Kotarou]: "Please don't imply that rich people can break the rules." [Akane]: "Rich people make the rules." I'll just ignore that. [Kotarou]: "Let's check if anyone saw the blog." [Akane]: "All new content is automatically inserted into a thread on the front page, so someone probably has." [Kotori]: "This is kinda exciting." [Kotarou]: "Let's see if anyone posted something." I activate the laptop. [Kotarou]: "Oooooh!" [Kotori]: "What happened!?" [Kotarou]: "We've already got one submission." [Kotori]: "Oooh." [Kotori]: "We have fans!" [Kotarou]: "...no, it's probably not a fan, hahaha." [Kotarou]: "Well, even if it is a fan I'm only member number 3." [Kotori]: "Prez and I are numbers 1 and 2!" [Akane]: "Wait..." [Kotori]: "Aaah!" [Kotarou]: "What?" [Kotori]: "I need to practice my signature!" [Kotarou]: "...wait a minute!" [Kotori]: "Whoops, I got ahead of myself!" [Kotori]: "Having fans makes you do weird things." [Kotarou]: "Get a hold of yourself!" [Kotori]: "Kyaaa!" Uukyauhuhu. [Akane]: "...get a room...you're like animals..." She presses fingers to her forehead. [Kotarou]: "Let's read it!" [Kotori]: "Fu～!" Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 1, Class: Secret Title: A test What's this, a fortune-telling club? (lol) Lemme try taking this seriously... (lol) Tell me a spell that'll make me ace my test! (lol) But I don't wanna study! (lol) Push me to the top of my class without any studying, you study occultists! (lol) He's mocking us. He's mocking us without the slightest critical evaluation. This shitty first-year has trampled all over this club's fifty plus years of history. A sin worthy of death. [Kotarou]: "...unforgivable." [Kotori]: "I will beat respect into his bones." Kotori smiles, displaying her anger. [Kotarou]: "We must crush him..." [Kotori]: "But Kotarou-kun, you mustn't use violence." [Kotarou]: "That's true. I don't want to experience a lightning suspension." [Kotarou]: "But violent words are fine, right?" [Kotori]: "That's more peaceful!" [Akane]: ".........club room disturbance, 8000 yen..." With her head still on the table, a dark shadow falls on Akane's eyes. She appears to be imagining forthcoming nuisances. [Kotarou]: "Prez, I have a request." [Akane]: "...I think I can guess, but what is it?" [Kotarou]: "I want to destroy this man." I point at the shitty first-year's post. [Akane]: "...so I thought." [Akane]: "I admit it is a bothersome submission, but it's too weak to treat as a real problem." [Akane]: "If he'd performed some sort of clear slander or libel, there'd be ways of dealing with him." [Akane]: "But this is just..." Akane shakes her head. [Kotarou]: "But he's looking down on us." [Akane]: "You haven't done anything to earn anyone's respect yet." [Akane]: "For now, stop overreacting and just accept it." [Kotori]: "Eeeh? You want him to cry himself to sleep?" [Akane]: "You can just respond to him." [Akane]: "Skillfully dealing with troll posts like this will increase your internet level." [Kotarou]: "The internet doesn't have levels..." [Kotarou]: "...a response..." [Kotori]: "Kotarou-kun, you've got prowess, so it might work." [Kotarou]: "Really? You think I can do it?" [Kotori]: "Yeah, yeah." [Kotori]: "Yo! President!" [Kotori]: "Do you have to keep being such an evil authority figure?" [Kotarou]: "Well, if you say so!" [Kotarou]: "I will take it upon myself to respond calmly." [Kotori]: "You'll be an adult." [Kotarou]: "I know. I will deal with this maturely." [Kotarou]: "Prepare me a touch pen to celebrate my victory, Kotori." [Kotori]: "Yep, no problem." [Kotarou]: "Okay, time to reply." I type it in and reply immediately. Poster: Mission Chief Title: Re: A test Thank you for posting! But we're not that kind of club～ Improve your grades with your own hard work! But if a ghost attacks you while you study, then we can help you! [Kotori]: "Now that's adult. I'm impressed～" [Kotarou]: "Well, you know, I can be mature sometimes." [Akane]: "Well done praising yourself for what you aren't." [Kotarou]: "That's enough for today." [Kotori]: "Ah, there's another post!" [Kotarou]: "Eh? Who?" [Kotori]: "I think it's the same guy." "Mission Impossible" is the default name for some reason, so he's basically anonymous. And since he didn't enter a class that defaults to "secret". [Kotarou]: "This guy's fast. Is his face plastered to this thread or something?" Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 1, Class: Secret Title: Re: Re: A test If a ghost attacks me... (lol) Are you stupid? (lol) I told you to give me a spell that'll boost my test scores (lol) And you deluded morons can't do that, can you? (lol) Just come clean and tell everyone you can't do it (lol) Do you even understand Japanese? Would English be better? (lol) Your stupidity is the real mystery here (lol) [Kotori]: "K-Kotarou-kun...calm down." [Kotori]: "No snapping, okay?" [Kotarou]: "I know, Kotori..." [Kotarou]: "This just means the difficulty level has gone up." [Kotarou]: "But I can still be adult about this, no problem..." Though I can feel my forehead twitching... [Kotarou]: "...I will write the most peaceful reply you've ever seen." Poster: Mission Chief Title: Re: Re: Re: A test Ummm, first of all, could you please stop with that (lol) thing? It just makes thi smore unpleasant for all of us. Also, on the subject of using a spell to help with your test... I really don't think that's a good idea.

<METADATA> Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "I controlled myself.........I did it...I held it in.........but I...feel so much...anger.........I want...to kill him...!" [Kotori]: "Wa! He's suppressing too much and turning homicidal. Not good." [Kotori]: "Hiya!" [Kotarou]: "Tranquility!" [Kotarou]: "...huh...what was I...?" [Kotori]: "Welcome back." [Kotarou]: "...hm? Aaah...I'm back...I guess." [Kotori]: "And you responded, so let's go home." [Kotarou]: "Oooh, you're right, let's go. Back to that safe house of tranquility." [Akane]: "Tennouji, there's another post." Akane says mockingly, watching the site from her own laptop. [Kotarou]: "Again!?" Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 1, Class: Secret Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: A test Huh? (lol) Are you one of those people who's so dumb others pity you? (lol) Don't talk shit about other people's writing habits (lol) I never intended to make anyone feel unpleasant (lol) That's just your personal bias (lol) I use (lol) because I want to. That's my right (lol) You have no right to tell me not to do it (lol) Someone should teach you better manners. >It just makes thi smore unpleasant for all of us. What the hell is "thi smore"? (lol) smore (lollollollollollollollollollollollollol) [Kotori]: "No, Kotarou-kun, don't let it control you!" [Kotarou]: "Uu...uuo..." [Kotori]: "Not good." [Kotori]: "...take that!" [Kotarou]: "...uuuuuuuu!" [Kotori]: "It's not working. We might be in trouble..." [Akane]: "This is the baptism all newbies receive." [Kotori]: "But doesn't this club have a long history...?" [Akane]: "It's been dead for so long it might as well be new." [Kotarou]: "I am...so mad......my innards...are seething..." [Kotori]: "Kotarou-kun, here's a phone book. Take out your anger on this." [Kotarou]: "Garrrrrr..." Must...tear ...phone book! [Kotarou]: "Mm..." [Kotarou]: "Mmga..." [Kotarou]: "Mmguoaaaaaaaah!" I...tore...phone book! ...though it took...a while. [Kotarou]: "Now I'm...a bit tired..." [Kotori]: "Calmed down?" [Kotarou]: "...yeah...a bit." [Kotarou]: "My mind feels kinda hazy." [Akane]: "...that's some incredible strength." Akane is bewildered after seeing me tear the phone book in half. [Kotarou]: "The internet is so cruel, Kotori...I didn't do anything wrong..." [Kotori]: "You can't take it personally." [Akane]: "You didn't do anything wrong, but you did make a fool out of yourself." [Kotarou]: "I hate these people..." [Kotori]: "Ignore them, ignore them." [Kotori]: "They'd probably be much nicer if you met them in real life." [Kotarou]: "You're right, he was a first-year...he hasn't learned how to interact with people yet." [Akane]: "Another post." In this brief span of time, another comment has been posted. Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 1, Class: Secret Title: Did I scare you? (lol) Ah, you aren't responding anymore (lol) Did I scare you a bit too much? (lol) Sorry, sorry, you're just so fun to tease (lol) I'm pretty strong so whenever I see small fry like you I can't help but attack (lol) Well, running away is the right move (lol) So, now that you've surrendered to me, don't do anything irritating like that again (lol) If you do, I'll talk to a yakuza in my family and make sure you really regret it (lol) [Kotori]: "...K-Kotarou-kun?" [Akane]: "Just let him go nuts." [Akane]: "If you entertain me enough, I might be willing to cover up an assault or two." [Kotori]: "No assaulting!" [Kotarou]: "It's all right, Kotori. I'm calm." [Kotori]: "Really?" [Kotarou]: "I'm done dealing with him. I'll just go home and forget all about it." [Kotori]: "Yeah, do that. Good idea." [Kotori]: "You actually kept your cool. I'm so proud～" [Kotarou]: "Haha! I am an adult, you know?" [Kotori]: "Thank goodness～" [Kotarou]: "Bye Prez." [Kotori]: "Goodbye." [Akane]: "Yes...goodbye." For once, we went home together. I had lots of fun chatting with Kotori and buying some snacks on the way. [Kotarou]: "Haha!" Then I enjoyed the night at home. I watched TV and laughed. I slowly immersed myself in the bath. I read a manga magazine. I listened to a band perform. It was a good night. I made my bed flawlessly. I replaced my pillow cover, even though it'd just been washed. I think I'll sleep comfortably tonight. [Kotarou]: "...now then." I slowly activate my computer. I login to the Occult Club's site. I gaze slowly at his declaration of victory. Poster: Mission Chief Title: Re: Did I scare you? (lol) I will kill you. ...hate begets more hate.

<METADATA> Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> October 10th (Sunday) Today is Sunday. It's a precious off-day before a test, but Kotori's coming over. [Kotori]: "Hello～" [Kotarou]: "Come in." [Kotori]: "Are your parents still away?" [Kotarou]: "Yeah, I'm basically living alone." [Kotori]: "Stretch, stretch." [Kotarou]: "Until today, that is..." A dark feeling overcomes me. [Kotori]: "What's wrong? Why the gloomy face?" [Kotarou]: "...this morning, Keitarou left me forever." [Kotori]: "Who?" [Kotarou]: "He was such a good shikigami..." [Kotori]: "?" [Kotori]: "Are you tired?" [Kotarou]: "I fear the night..." [Kotori]: "What happened?" [Kotarou]: "Well, I'm fine as long as it's daytime. The sun is wonderful." [Kotarou]: "It seems to have this power to make the darkness flee." [Kotori]: "It's called daytime for a reason." [Kotarou]: "Don't worry about it, Kotori. I'll get you some coffee." [Kotori]: "Ah, I wanna get this done first." She points to the pile of stuff at the front door. [Kotarou]: "This week's gardening equipment?" It was delivered to my door this morning. Kotori ordered it with my parent's money to bring life to my veranda. [Kotarou]: "Okay, I'll carry it upstairs." [Kotori]: "Please do." I'm fine doing the heavy lifting. I carry one of the boxes up to my room. [Kotarou]: "These things are always heavy." I think they total at least fifty kilos. [Kotori]: "I think I bought too much again." [Kotarou]: "It's fine. They'd never give me this much money anyway." I actually saw it once. The envelope they handed Kotori was much thicker and heavier than the ones my allowance came in. [Kotarou]: (Aaah...I want money...) I'd better get working on that job. I need to build up a decent war chest. [Kotarou]: "I'll go get the rest. Wait up here." [Kotori]: "I'll hold my knees as I wait." I heave it up. She's not holding her knees. She's looking into the room from the hallway. [Kotarou]: "...hey, plump girl." [Kotori]: "P-p-p-p-plump!?" [Kotori]: "I'll be as slim as a supermodel in three years." [Kotarou]: "Then you'll have to do three thousand hours of cardio." [Kotori]: "I will debut in the idol world." [Kotarou]: "What's your stage name?" [Kotori]: "Honekawa Slim." [Kotarou]: "...sounds like a porn name." [Kotarou]: "So, what happened to my room?" [Kotarou]: "If you're gonna whine about it smelling like man and open all the windows for ventilation, I'm prepared to bear the emotional pain." [Kotori]: "Not that. It's more like..." She seems to be wondering whether she should say it or not. [Kotori]: "...I felt a...wave." She makes a weird hand gesture. [Kotarou]: "A wave...?" [Kotori]: "Yeah." [Kotori]: "It was like a vibration, kinda." [Kotarou]: "So it's both a wave and a vibration?" [Kotori]: "It might have characteristics of both." [Kotarou]: "I know this is partly my fault, but what are we talking about?" [Kotori]: "Basically I felt something really weird." [Kotarou]: "Oh, so you started feeling it. That's just the ghost." [Kotori]: "Is that what you think...?" [Kotarou]: "My room is extremely dangerous right now." [Kotarou]: "There are no shikigami protecting it anymore." [Kotori]: "They scared me when I went in." [Kotori]: "Is there anything we can do about this?" [Kotarou]: "Prez said she'd do something about it." [Kotarou]: "I've been texting her all morning but no luck." [Kotarou]: "She might still be in limbo after the trial ended..." [Kotori]: "Her magic had an effect?" [Kotarou]: "Yeah, yeah, I was amazed." [Kotarou]: "But only through a series of coincidences." [Kotori]: "Hmmmm." [Kotarou]: "We have to come up with another solution...today." There's a weight on my shoulders. I want to at least enjoy my time right now... [Kotarou]: "...so, let's garden." [Kotarou]: "If we have loads of fun doing it, maybe the ghost will run away." [Kotori]: "Yep, okay." [Kotori]: "I haven't been on your veranda in ages." [Kotarou]: "Three weeks I think." [Kotori]: "They did send me the money so I'd better make good use of it." [Kotori]: "Have you taken care of them like I told you to?" [Kotarou]: "Of course." [Kotarou]: "I gave them lots of love." [Kotori]: "Good." [Kotori]: "Then today should be productive." We head out to the veranda. [Kotori]: "They're all deaaaaaaad!" [Kotori]: "My little garden is ruined!" [Kotori]: "How could this happen!?" [Kotarou]: "I cannot forgive whoever did this to Kotori-san's plants..." [Kotarou]: "Show yourself! I will face you!" [Kotori]: "You did it." I receive a soft fist to the chest. [Kotarou]: "...sorry." [Kotori]: "They're all gone..." [Kotarou]: "I'm so sorry." [Kotarou]: "But listen." [Kotarou]: "I took such good care of them..." [Kotarou]: "I didn't want this garden to die off after you put so much work into it." [Kotori]: "There aren't even any roots intact." [Kotori]: "It's like a tyrant or despot came and thoroughly eradicated them." [Kotarou]: "I gave them so much love and water and nutrients..." [Kotori]: "...what do you mean "nutrients"?" [Kotori]: "I didn't give you any of that because it's tricky to do right." [Kotarou]: "So I came across this gardening shop." [Kotarou]: "They were having a special sale on nutrients." [Kotarou]: "I bought a ton." [Kotarou]: "Nutrient festival." [Kotori]: "You foooooool!" She gets mad at me. [Kotori]: "You gave them too much." [Kotarou]: "I-I had no idea..." [Kotori]: "You can't give them too much fertilizer or love." [Kotarou]: "Love too?" [Kotori]: "Yes." [Kotarou]: "I thought that'd be good." [Kotori]: "Aloof, seemingly emotionless guys are more popular right now." [Kotarou]: "...that matters?" We end up replacing the entirety of the garden.

<METADATA> Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "Sorry for making you do all this." [Kotori]: "It's fine." [Kotori]: "I'm just glad I bought so much." [Kotori]: "You don't have to help, Kotarou-kun, so go downstairs and pour some coffee." [Kotarou]: "Okay. I'll make some super delicious coffee then." [Kotori]: "Time for some hard work." Kotori rolls up her sleeves. She seems to be enjoying this. I make the coffee with a slow but thorough drip brew. I get out some snacks too. [Kotarou]: "Heeey, the coffee's done." [Kotori]: "Gimme." But she doesn't come down. I put it on a small plate and carry it up. [Kotarou]: "How's it going?" [Kotori]: "Barely started." She's still filling up trash bags with all the withered plants. [Kotori]: "I have to change all the soil too." [Kotori]: "Need to mix it together myself." [Kotarou]: "That's some serious work..." [Kotarou]: "As expected of the Tennouji family's private gardener." [Kotori]: "Huheheheh." She seems all right with this title. [Kotori]: "Break time." She comes back inside and sips some coffee. [Kotarou]: "I still can't believe they all died...I didn't even notice." [Kotori]: "No wonder the herbs weren't working." [Kotarou]: "You mean all those mental stability effects?" [Kotori]: "Yeah, those." [Kotori]: "Those chemicals are known to affect the brain, you know?" [Kotarou]: "I get the feeling I shouldn't ask too much..." [Kotori]: "These are great cookies." [Kotarou]: "I got them at a bakery nearby. They said each one has fifteen kilocalories." [Kotori]: "They're wonderful." [Kotarou]: "They don't have a very strong flavor, so putting something like blueberry jam on them is great." [Kotori]: "I'm so happy～" Umm, if you put that much jam on it, the calorie count will... But she looks so happy I just can't say it. [Kotori]: "By the way, I was wondering." [Kotarou]: "Yeah?" [Kotori]: "What are those scraps of paper?" I pick up one of the piles of shredded paper on my desk. [Kotarou]: "This is Keitarou." [Kotarou]: "He was so good to me...uu..." I still tear up just thinking about it. [Kotarou]: "They give their lives every night to protect me..." [Kotori]: "...I have no idea what you're talking about anymore..." [Kotarou]: "I hope the ghosts give up after these three attacks." [Kotori]: "...about those ghosts..." [Kotori]: "Why are they after you, Kotarou-kun?" [Kotarou]: "Not sure. I can't think of any reason." [Kotarou]: "But why would ghosts just curse random people?" [Kotori]: "Hmmmm..." She thinks hard. [Kotori]: "...hey." [Kotori]: "Are you sure it's really a ghost?" [Kotarou]: "Eh?" [Kotori]: "Are you sure it's some undead vengeful spirit?" [Kotarou]: "What do you mean? What else could it be?" [Kotori]: "I'm not sure, but..." [Kotori]: "Sorry, never mind." [Kotarou]: "It's fine." [Kotarou]: "I'm gonna talk to Prez and try to come up with something." [Kotori]: "Yeah, if she had these shikigami lying around...she must have something else." [Kotarou]: "Do you want any more coffee?" [Kotori]: "No, that's enough. I'll get back to work." [Kotarou]: "You sure you don't want my help?" [Kotori]: "Yeah." A bright smile. [Kotori]: "You'd just get in the way, Kotarou-kun♪" [Kotori]: "Hm-hm-hm-hmmm♪" [Kotori]: "Humming-humming-hmm♪" Kotori works happily. I lie useless in the corner of the room. We had a pizza delivered for lunch. Kotori's hospitality funds far outweigh my allowance. So we could've ordered sushi without worrying about the cost. Why is it so much bigger... By 3 PM, the veranda was completely cleaned up. [Kotarou]: "Neat and tidy." Before it felt completely overgrown, but looking at it now there's quite a bit of space. [Kotori]: "These are all fast-growing guys so it should look great in no time." [Kotarou]: "Hmmmm." [Kotori]: "I'm very proud of it this time." [Kotarou]: "You really are good at this stuff." [Kotarou]: "I remember my mom being impressed too." A long time ago she'd tried to grow trees in the backyard. She was terrible. The garden was a mess. Both my parents feel strongly about environmental issues, but growing actual plants is a different story. There's no class in the environmental symposiums on how to maintain garden trees. At this point Kotori basically does everything. And we can clearly see how much prettier everything looks. Gardening is Kotori's talent. A trait that doesn't get used much at school. That saddens me a little. [Kotori]: "Little Forest No. 42." It has been named. [Kotarou]: "Wasn't the last one No. 40?" [Kotori]: "The one you destroyed was No. 39." [Kotarou]: ".........sorry." [Kotori]: "I've made a couple others elsewhere so the number jumped a bit." [Kotori]: "There've been some small innovations in No. 42 though." [Kotarou]: "I don't wanna know." [Kotarou]: "That information will scare me." [Kotarou]: "Please let me remain an impartial third party!" [Kotori]: "The important part is, it's best not to show it to others." [Kotori]: "Especially ten years from now." [Kotarou]: "Only I can see it..." Neither I nor Kotori have any friends who might come over. [Kotori]: "Then it's fine." [Kotarou]: "Maybe letting them all die turned out for the best..." [Kotori]: "This one's amazing. It has so many features." [Kotori]: "It reduces various symptoms like sneezing from all sorts of ailments, including eyestrain, nasal irritation, sore throats, mouth ulcers, hay fevers and the common cold." [Kotori]: "Pimples, frostbite, athlete's foot, headaches, period pains, lumbago, insomnia, indigestion, edema..." [Kotarou]: "Aren't you just making things up now?" [Kotori]: "Traffic safety, domestic peace, fund-raising, financial prosperity..." [Kotarou]: "Only a god can garden that well..." [Kotori]: "That'll all happen when it's at maximum potential." [Kotarou]: "How long does it take to get there?" [Kotori]: "...a thousand years?"

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "Such nice plants." I no longer care. [Kotori]: "The fund-raising part was tricky." [Kotori]: "There's just no way to make that happen in less than 800 years." [Kotarou]: "You're joking, right? You can't be serious." [Kotori]: "If I could just fix that problem my little forest system would sell for billions." [Kotarou]: "Did any wires get crossed in your brain?" [Kotarou]: "You might need to see an electrician." [Kotori]: "You don't believe in plant power?" [Kotori]: "You'll be sorry a thousand years from now." [Kotarou]: "I wouldn't exactly mind..." [Kotori]: "Anyway, it's a bit lonely but as time goes on, they'll look pretty nice." [Kotori]: "And I'll do the maintenance this time." [Kotori]: "When I absolutely can't come, you'll have to follow my directions, but nothing more. Okay?" [Kotori]: "Since you're so terrible at this, Kotarou-kun♪" [Kotarou]: "Yeah...I won't do anything you don't tell me to..." Continuously spoiling someone makes them revert back to childhood. [Kotarou]: "I should thank you somehow." [Kotori]: "Nah, it's fine." [Kotarou]: "I'll take you somewhere nice later. Is that okay?" [Kotori]: ".........where...would you...take me?" [Kotarou]: "Why does that worry you?" [Kotori]: "Kotarou-kun, last time you said that you tried to take me to a love hotel." [Kotori]: "I hate lewd jokes like that." [Kotarou]: "Your eyes are scary..." [Kotori]: "I'll go somewhere respectable with you." [Kotarou]: "What does that mean..." [Kotarou]: "Like a classy Italian restaurant?" [Kotori]: "More like Jasco." [Kotarou]: "China runs that place you know." [Kotori]: "I love Jasco♪" [Kotori]: "Every day the customers go xie xie!" [Kotarou]: "...well we can go there whenever you want." [Kotori]: "Okay then." Apparently I have no choice. [Kotarou]: "...sometime soon." She's not an expensive girl. After that, we talked for a while until evening. [Kotori]: "See you tomorrow, bye-bye." [Kotarou]: "Bye-byeee, see you later." [Kotori]: "You'd better study." Kotori goes home with the face of someone who's thoroughly enjoyed their weekend. [Kotarou]: "...time for battle." As I feared, the cruel Akane never contacted me. Which is why I've prepared something of my own for tonight. ...this guy. [Kotarou]: "Handmade shikigami." The internet told me how to make them. Everything's on the internet. The internet is a sea of information without a single lie. [Kotarou]: "This should last me the night." [Kotarou]: "I'm counting on you, Johnson!" [Kotarou]: "Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" It didn't work.

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male </METADATA> October 11th (Monday) [Kotarou]: (Not many people here today...) [Kotarou]: (Are they all cutting?) The door's locked. [Kotarou]: "It's a day off!" I finally remember. [Kotarou]: "Uuuwa...this sucks..." I'm so embarrassed I want to die. Thankfully no one's here to see it. [Kotarou]: (I wasted a lot of time.) [Kotarou]: (Guess I'll go home...) I turn around, and... He's here. [Kotarou]: "You...you're Wolf the Mad Dog!" [Yoshino]: "No one's ever called me that!" [Yoshino]: "...do you want me to beat you up?" [Kotarou]: "Actually..." [Kotarou]: "Did you know it was a day off today?" [Yoshino]: ".........what?" [Yoshino]: "...I've known that for a while actually." [Kotarou]: "Then why are you wearing your uniform?" [Yoshino]: "What's wrong with coming to school in my uniform?" [Yoshino]: "And why did I, despite knowing it was a day off...still come to school!?" [Kotarou]: "You didn't need that buildup." [Yoshino]: "My reasons have nothing to do with you." [Kotarou]: "You forgot it was a day off, didn't you?" [Yoshino]: "Screw you...I came for a different reason." [Kotarou]: "Liar." [Yoshino]: "I don't lie." [Yoshino]: "...talk any more shit and you'll be kissing the ground." [Kotarou]: "But it's obvious you made the same mistake as me!" [Kotarou]: "Iiidiot! Iiidiot!" [Yoshino]: "...!" *thwump* A silent fist enters my stomach. [Kotarou]: "Uu..." My breathing stops, and a small storm runs rampant in my gut. For a moment, I think about getting back at him, but I stumble. [Kotarou]: "...don't bully people, Yoshino-kun..." [Yoshino]: "...hmph." He doesn't follow it up. Yoshino turns his back to me. [Kotarou]: "Hey, what are you doing?" [Yoshino]: "Nothing, just going home." [Kotarou]: "...so you did come here by mistake." Men talk through their backs. Yoshino's back tells me "I forgot it was a day off, but I'm too embarrassed to admit it." I walk up to him. [Kotarou]: "Have you ever been to the school on a day off before?" [Yoshino]: "Stop acting like we're friends!" [Kotarou]: "I'm going home too!" [Yoshino]: "You just made the same mis-...!" [Yoshino]: "...fine, it doesn't matter." [Kotarou]: "Come to think of it, midterms start tomorrow." [Kotarou]: "Maybe they want us to study." Yep, Yoshino's acting normal. Just as he should be. [Kotarou]: "...dammit, I completely forgot about the tests between all the other stuff that was happening. I might be in trouble this time." Yoshino changes course. So I follow him. [Yoshino]: "Hey." [Kotarou]: "Whey?" [Yoshino]: "...the gate's that way." [Kotarou]: "Aren't you going to the bathroom? I'll go with you." [Yoshino]: "Don't do that!" [Yoshino]: "...go home." [Kotarou]: "There's really no one here at all." [Yoshino]: "I told you to go home dammit!" [Kotarou]: "I know. Once you're done in there, I'll use it too then go home." [Yoshino]: "...hmph, you think you're so clever." He walks quickly down the hall, pretending to ignore me. So once we're both done in the bathroom, we'll head to the front gate and... Wait, Yoshino changed direction again. [Kotarou]: "That's the third-years' floor. You won't find any beef bowl places up there." [Yoshino]: "I don't live at that beef bowl shop you know!" [Yoshino]: "Dumbass...I have something to do here. And it has nothing to do with you." [Kotarou]: "Hmmmm." [Kotarou]: "This might be fun." I decide to tail him. [Yoshino]: "Uu..." [Kotarou]: "How many tests do you have tomorrow? Three? Four?" [Kotarou]: "Uha! This is bad, have you studied at all? I literally haven't touched my textbooks yet." [Yoshino]: "...shut up." [Kotarou]: "Even if I cram all night...I'll get through one subject at best." [Kotarou]: "For the rest, I'll have to rely on what I remember from lecture. Something really bad might happen to me, you know?" [Kotarou]: "If I have to take six separate make-up exams..." [Kotarou]: "Uwaaa, that's a bad end..." [Kotarou]: "Maybe I should try to fit at least two subjects in tonight..." [Kotarou]: "I can survive on three hours' sleep." [Kotarou]: "But I'll have to do this again tomorrow...if I overdo it on the first day..." [Yoshino]: "...go home and start studying right now." [Kotarou]: "Thank you for reacting. I was thinking the same thing." [Kotarou]: "But there's something we can only do here at school, right?" [Yoshino]: "Nope. Just go home." [Yoshino]: "Go back home and leave me alone." [Kotarou]: "Youth should be about more than just tests." [Kotarou]: "We need adventures too." [Kotarou]: "Adventures...yes, quests..." [Kotarou]: "I want a quest." That's it! A valiant questing spirit fills me up. [Yoshino]: "Don't you worry, idiot." [Yoshino]: "I'll start a quest to slay you any day now." [Kotarou]: "Really? I can't wait." [Yoshino]: "...shut up." [Kotarou]: "Sorry I'm a happy-go-lucky boy." [Yoshino]: "Ha! As if. You're just a half-assed waste of space." [Yoshino]: "You're no one at all..." Yoshino's criticism hurts. We walk through the school silently for a while. We're both being stubborn. Neither of us wants to change this. We don't want the other to see us changing. So we're stuck like this, unable to get along. It's almost like... An aimless journey... [Kotarou]: "Let's talk." [Yoshino]: "...huh?" We've been walking for a long time. An hour, maybe two hours. Maybe even longer. I can't be bothered to look at the clock. I'm afraid I won't like what I see. [Kotarou]: "Walking in silence like this makes it hard to breathe." [Kotarou]: "Talk to me about something." [Yoshino]: "...go ahead and suffocate then." [Yoshino]: "It'll be easier that way. For both of us."

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "Aren't you nervous? Ten and Yoshino have been spirited away. Oh, and Ten is my nickname as your sidekick." [Yoshino]: "Even if we have, that's my own problem. It has nothing to do with you, and I will never call you that." [Kotarou]: "Damn." Guess I'll change the subject. [Kotarou]: "By the way, what do you think of our class?" [Yoshino]: "...what?" Yoshino acts menacingly. [Kotarou]: "Wh-what? Don't be so intimidating." [Kotarou]: "I can sense people's numerical battle strength through their qi or nen or waves or whatever, so doing that scares me." [Kotarou]: "You've gotta control your qi better, or else the enemy leaders will find you." [Yoshino]: "What about our class?" [Kotarou]: "I was just curious what you thought of them..." [Kotarou]: "You don't talk to any of them at all." [Yoshino]: "...are you saying there's something wrong with me or them?" [Kotarou]: "No, not that..." [Kotarou]: "...I doubt anyone's being malicious." [Kotarou]: "But it is kinda...cold? Between you and them I mean." [Yoshino]: "...youuuu!" Suddenly, he snaps. He grabs me by the chest. [Kotarou]: "Whooooooa, what gives? Don't scare me like that." [Kotarou]: "Why are you being so violent...?" [Yoshino]: "Silence, you ungrateful bastard." [Kotarou]: "...wh-what?" [Yoshino]: "They act like spoiled brats sometimes because that's what they are." [Yoshino]: "But what gives you the right to criticize any of them for that?" [Kotarou]: "...w-wait, I think I get it." [Kotarou]: "Normally I can talk to anyone like they're my friend. And I'm not trying to deceive them or anything." [Kotarou]: "I just...don't like getting too close...it feels like I'm too different from everyone else." The hatred in his eyes doesn't weaken in the slightest. What the hell set him off? [Kotarou]: "Don't get so mad all of a sudden...that's not right." [Kotarou]: "You're telling me not to talk shit about people behind their backs, right?" [Kotarou]: "I know not to do that, and I don't." [Yoshino]: "...I don't care about what you think is going on." [Yoshino]: "No matter how you try to explain it away, you still despise all of them." [Kotarou]: "But it's true they don't mean anything bad either! You said that yourself!" [Yoshino]: "...you really think you're being fair after putting yourself so far above them?" [Yoshino]: "As far as I'm concerned, Tennouji, you're the most spoiled brat of them all." [Kotarou]: "...you really think so?" That kinda hurts... [Yoshino]: "...nothing pisses me off more than seeing you make that clueless face." [Yoshino]: "I don't know what part you misunderstood, but I do not hang out with people like you." [Yoshino]: "Enjoy being alone on your high horse." He throws me to the ground. What high horse? This is really bothering me now. [Kotarou]: "...you take this so seriously." [Yoshino]: "Because you're here and I hate your guts." [Yoshino]: "We will settle this soon enough. Be ready." Does he hate how goofy and casual I act? How should I act then? No one's perfect, so we all have to live in a less-than-ideal way. I'm no different... [Yoshino]: "Stop being so carefree...you fake." [Kotarou]: "...what's wrong with being carefree?" [Yoshino]: "AAAH!?" His face approaches mine. Just like a proper face off between gangsters. [Kotarou]: "So you're a moral guardian now?" [Yoshino]: "Shut up." [Kotarou]: "Question: Would you feel better if I acted more serious about this?" [Yoshino]: "SHUT UP!" [Kotarou]: "...don't howl so much, doggie." [Yoshino]: "Watch your tongue. I'm not going to keep being merciful forever." [Kotarou]: "If you were really evil, you'd have beaten me to the brink of death by now." [Kotarou]: "You're trying to act evil right now." [Kotarou]: "Aren't you putting on an act just as much as me!?" He feels different now. Somehow... [Kotarou]: "All I do is talk to you. It turns into teasing a lot, but that's just a habit." [Kotarou]: "I've never seriously ridiculed or despised you." [Kotarou]: "Tons of other people do the same thing!" [Kotarou]: "Our class is full of nice people. I respect all of them. Some of them might not be acting at all." [Kotarou]: "But they all say you and I stand out somehow." [Kotarou]: "Don't talk like I chose to be different from them!" This is no good. I'm starting to lose control too. I can feel my words becoming harsher. [Kotarou]: "Aren't you being too self-conscious?" [Yoshino]: ".........perfect." [Yoshino]: "This disturbing, clean hallway...it's just like an underground rock concert..." [Yoshino]: "Staining it with your blood would be one hell of a gig...!" He takes on a fighting pose from the Yoshino school of martial arts. [Kotarou]: (Dammit, he means it this time...) I panic as it becomes more and more likely we'll throw ourselves at each other. We're about to pass the point of no return. Apologizing won't be enough anymore. But...if I'm going to fight him... [Yoshino]: "Damn it!" [Kotarou]: "Ah! You...!" [Yoshino]: "What the―!?" [Kotarou]: "Screw―!" [Yoshino]: "Aaah? AAAAAH!?" [Kotarou]: "What? What's wrong? Spit it out!" [Yoshino]: "Shut up!" [Kotarou]: "Gaaahhh!" We grapple with each other, neither of us landing any clean hits. All we can do in this state is push forward, pull back, and intimidate the enemy. Now this is a real fight. [Kotarou]: "Ow!" He grabs my hair. [Yoshino]: "Nnga! You―!" I then claw Yoshino's face in exchange. [Kotarou]: "Let go!" [Yoshino]: "You le―guh!" We trade blows. Both of us can block each other's hands, so we try to kick each other instead. It's too close to do any real damage, but the pain should still be aggravating. [Kotarou]: "Ow-ow! That really hurt!" [Yoshino]: "Shut up and die already!" We both swing with all our might. As we grapple together, we crash into the right wall, and collide with the left. [Kotarou]: "Dahh! Ga! *cough!*" [Yoshino]: "Huu! Huu! Huu..." We can't even trash talk anymore...

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School </METADATA> But our will to fight remains, so we continue moving down the hallway like a pair of dancers. Then, finally, we crash into a certain wall... And by sheer luck, break through a door. We lose hold of each other and tumble to the ground. [Kotarou]: "Doshaaaaaaaaa!" [Akane]: "...pu!?" [Kotarou]: "Huh?" I hear a familiar voice and pull myself up. Akane's sitting cross-legged on the table, eating some ice cream. [Kotarou]: "What the hell are you doing heeeeeeeeeeere!?" I speak to her in my antagonized state of mind. [Akane]: "I should be asking you that!" An eraser flies into my cranium. [Kotarou]: "...ah, sorry." [Kotarou]: "But why are we in the club room?" [Akane]: "...I'm so grateful you destroyed my door again, Tennouji." I turn on the lights and look around. It's the familiar Occult Club room. [Kotarou]: "That was the club room door...?" But when did we get all the way back here? [Kotarou]: "Mappie...it doesn't remember coming here at all..." It's no longer working properly after all those errors. I'll have to reset it. [Kotarou]: "...what does this mean?" [Akane]: "I'm waiting for you to tell me." [Kotarou]: "...why are you sitting on the table eating ice cream?" [Akane]: "Silence." [Kotarou]: "Such bad table manners...I thought you'd be the type to care about that...I'm disillusioned again." [Akane]: "It's not that I don't care, there was just no one around." [Akane]: "It shouldn't bother anyone." [Kotarou]: "It's not really about bothering anyone..." [Akane]: "...even I want to rebel against the established order once in a while." [Kotarou]: "You? Rebel?" [Kotarou]: "How does sitting on the table eating junk food count as fighting the establishment?" [Akane]: "It doesn't matter...but what about your friend there? He seems to be in trouble." [Kotarou]: "Eh?" [Yoshino]: "...shit...bullshit..." Yoshino had landed against the cardboard box tower, which promptly collapsed and buried him in documents. Only his legs remain visible. [Kotarou]: "He's in the doghouse!" [Yoshino]: "...uu...uuu..." Crap, he can't get out of that on his own. [Kotarou]: "Are you okay, Yoshino!?" I push the papers aside and save Yoshino. He's limp. [Yoshino]: "Uuu...my mach shot...was about to..." [Kotarou]: "He just said "mach" with a straight face!" The Yoshino school is amazing. [Yoshino]: "...ha!" [Yoshino]: "Tennouji, youuu!" [Kotarou]: "Wait, Yoshino, we're back." [Yoshino]: "Huh?" [Kotarou]: "We're back in the normal school." He looks around. [Yoshino]: "...how is this normal?" [Yoshino]: "What's with this weird-ass room!? Have we been captured!?" [Kotarou]: "What are you talking about?" [Akane]: "Welcome, gypsy, to my secret room." Why even bother with that...? [Akane]: "So you think my room is "weird"?" [Yoshino]: "...who are you? ...don't tell me you're a third-year." [Akane]: "I am." [Yoshino]: "Then get me out of this room!" [Akane]: "Ha!" Akane completely breaks character and hits Yoshino in the gut with a palm strike. [Yoshino]: "Pugeeeeee!" Yoshino writhes in agony. Evidently it was an extremely powerful hit. *not worried about him* [Akane]: "You're the ones who broke down my door to get in here. Stop talking nonsense." [Akane]: "Now get out of here!" [Yoshino]: "Uuu...will do..." [Akane]: "Wait." [Yoshino]: "Ah...?" [Akane]: "Give me your money first." [Yoshino]: "My money?" [Yoshino]: "So...you're a bandit now?" [Akane]: "That's right." It is? [Kotarou]: "...Yoshino, we broke her door." [Akane]: "Compensate me for the repairs, then leave promptly." [Yoshino]: "Hmph...and if I refuse?" [Akane]: "...then..." [Akane]: "I will cast a spell making you only popular among middle-aged women." [Kotarou]: "That's a curse..." [Akane]: "My magical power, combined with merely a single drop from the ancient panacea elixir and my personal connections with pedophilic old ladies, is more than capable of achieving such a mysterious effect." [Kotarou]: "You kinda blew the reason it's not actually magical..." [Yoshino]: "Th-this is all I have on me..." He hands over a couple yen notes from his wallet. Akane's incomprehensible confidence must have intimidated him. [Akane]: "...hm?" She takes it and gestures toward the door. [Yoshino]: "Uu...what's with you...this isn't funny..." Cold, cold darkness fills the hallway outside. [Yoshino]: "Dammit, it's already night...?" ...when did that happen? The windows were bright white just a minute ago, so the sun couldn't have set. But it's true we had no way of measuring time in there... [Yoshino]: "Tennouji, I blame you for everything that happened today." [Kotarou]: "...I was exhausted by it too, you know." [Yoshino]: "...you suck." Yoshino staggers off home. [Akane]: "Such a violent man." [Akane]: "Is he part of your herd?" [Kotarou]: "That's a weird way to say it..." [Kotarou]: "He's my classmate." [Akane]: "Why are you both here this late?" [Kotarou]: "Yoshino and I were on a quest." [Akane]: "???" [Kotarou]: "We ended up in a weird place." [Akane]: "Meaning...?" [Kotarou]: "This happened once before, but..." [Kotarou]: "It's hard to say...it was just strange." [Akane]: "In what way?" She's persistent. [Kotarou]: "How to describe it...it's like some mythical animal was playing tricks with our mind." [Akane]: "Like a fox?" [Kotarou]: "Yeah, like that." [Kotarou]: "It felt like a fox was messing with my mind." [Akane]: "Huhuhu, idiot, huhuhuhu." [Kotarou]: "...I'm serious." [Kotarou]: "So why are you here so late?" [Akane]: "No particular reason. I felt like it." [Kotarou]: "Have you been here all day?" [Akane]: "Of course not." [Akane]: "But I do sleep here a lot." [Kotarou]: "I knew it..."

<METADATA> Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Akira Inoue | Gender: Female </METADATA> What on earth is her life like? Only she could get away with that... [Kotarou]: "The guards never complain?" [Akane]: "I just give them mo―..." Money? [Akane]: "...I set up a magic barrier to misdirect their awareness." [Kotarou]: "The magic of money." [Akane]: "You know, financial services that make money into more money are a lot like magic." [Kotarou]: "...I'd prefer more tangible work." [Kotarou]: "Ah, there's a TV show I like coming on soon. I'll be going home now." [Akane]: "Okay." [Kotarou]: "Bye now." [Akane]: "Wait." [Akane]: "Compensation." [Kotarou]: "...damn." I almost escaped. Farewell Noguchi... [Kotarou]: "Oh right, perfect timing. Prez, I'm out of shikigami." [Akane]: "I see, so the placebo effect has stopped working." [Kotarou]: "I-it's not a placebo! This is really happening...!" [Kotarou]: "Do you know who made those shikigami?" [Akane]: "Unfortunately, no." [Akane]: "And most modern magicians come to their senses after high school and go back to focusing on the rest of their lives." [Kotarou]: "Wow...that's mean..." [Kotarou]: "I wonder if that applies to the old presidents." [Akane]: "There are lots of girls who want to learn basic makeup, wardrobe and sex skills before leaving high school." [Kotarou]: "Daaa..." [Akane]: "But that doesn't mean it's all bad. I found more shikigami." [Kotarou]: "Really!?" [Akane]: "Yes. Wait one moment." She reaches down and brings up a bundle of shikigami tied together with a string. ...out of the garbage can. [Akane]: "I kept these for you." [Kotarou]: "You were going to throw them away!?" [Kotarou]: "How can you call yourself the Occult Club president!?" [Akane]: "They're in great condition too. Hardly any stains or charring. And they're even tied up for you." [Kotarou]: "The lid of your ice cream is stuck to them! The one you were eating a minute ago!" [Kotarou]: "How is that good condition!?" [Akane]: "So noisy. Calm down." [Kotarou]: "Gimme those things!" I steal the bundle of shikigami. Ice cream stains better not nullify their effects. [Kotarou]: "Aaah, so many...this is wonderful." There are hundreds in here. It's a whole army. [Kotarou]: "...you could start a spectral war in the capital with all these guys." [Akane]: "Why would anyone want to...?" [Kotarou]: "This should be enough to make a commoner like me rest easy." [Kotarou]: "I shall make good use of these!" I proclaim to the president. [Akane]: "Go ahead. I don't need them." [Kotarou]: "Paranormal phenomena...there really is more than just superpowers out there." [Kotarou]: "I'm a little impressed." [Akane]: "And you want to investigate that stuff? You have such strange taste." [Kotarou]: "There've been a lot of spectral events happening to me lately." [Kotarou]: "It feels like something big is starting to happen." [Kotarou]: "I need to find out what." [Akane]: "You've gotten scared by a white curtain, and you've decided that scraps of paper can protect you, so what's next?" [Kotarou]: "...superpowers." [Akane]: "Magic tricks." [Kotarou]: "No, seriously, they're real." [Akane]: "Weren't you going to prove it?" [Akane]: "Well, I'm certainly looking forward to that." [Akane]: "I'll get to see some clever illusions at least." [Kotarou]: "A-and the seven wonders..." [Akane]: "Of the world or the school?" [Kotarou]: "The school." [Kotarou]: "Didn't I just tell you about getting sucked into an alternate dimension here?" [Akane]: "Ah, that..." [Kotarou]: "Let's search for the first of the seven wonders, the entrance to a mysterious alternate dimension!" You obtained Info: "The Seven Wonders: #1 - Entrance to an Alternate Dimension"! [Kotarou]: "How are you gonna explain this?" [Akane]: ".........hu." A smile of thorough disdain. [Kotarou]: "...why does our president have to deny all these things..." [Akane]: "Just give it your best shot." [Akane]: "I'm rooting for you." [Kotarou]: "Don't say that while counting money..." She's counting them the same efficient way bank tellers do. [Akane]: "Anyway, don't you have tests tomorrow? You don't seem too concerned about that." [Kotarou]: "Wa! You're right!" I completely forgot about studying for the tests. [Kotarou]: (Crap, my plan to cram two subjects in one night is ruined!) [Kotarou]: "I-I've gotta go now, we'll talk more later!" [Akane]: "Good luck." Before I leave, Akane casually asks... [Akane]: "Tennouji...about what you saw..." [Kotarou]: "...haa..." [Akane]: "I'm sure it was just a dream." Oh yeah, I wrote a report while we were in that other dimension. I send it to Inoue. Surprisingly, she responds immediately. [Inoue]: "Tennouji-kun, you're not half-bad. This is quite the scoop!" [Inoue]: "But it'll take more than this to beat me. I look forward to your next story." [Inoue]: "Make sure you do even better next time!" Obtained Info: "The Seven Wonders: #2 - The Unopenable Door"! It sounds like she actually respects me now... You earned Inoue's respect!

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Third-Year Girl]: "This is the fourth floor. The third-year floor." [Third-Year Girl]: "Today's a day off, so no club activities." [Third-Year Boy]: "Midterms tomorrow! We must study!" [Third-Year Boy]: "The school's open even on days off so people can come study here." [Kotarou]: "Still..." [Kotarou]: "Everyone seems to tell me something after I say hi. Is that just third-years being nice to me?" [Yoshino]: "...how would I know?" [Kotarou]: "I feel a sense of duty from them." There are a lot of third-years here studying. [Kotarou]: "Must be tough being a third-year." [Yoshino]: "You're just a piece of trash with no work ethic." [Kotarou]: "I'm the type who gets serious when it really matters." [Yoshino]: "That's the type I hate most." [Kotarou]: "...oh." [Yoshino]: "Did you think I'd be impressed? Dumbass." [Kotarou]: "...I guess I can see why people who work hard all the time get more respect." [Yoshino]: "The only reason not to take it seriously is if you despise everyone around you." [Yoshino]: "People who do that should know they're doing that. Then their actions will make sense. I don't like it, but I won't complain." [Yoshino]: "But most of them deny it. "I'd never do that, I'm not an elitist."" [Kotarou]: "Mm..." [Yoshino]: "I never trust liars like that, and I want nothing to do with them." [Yoshino]: "Can you tell who I'm referring to?" [Kotarou]: "Well...I guess..." [Kotarou]: "Is there anything wrong with skilled falcons hiding their talons?" [Yoshino]: "I'm impressed you dared to call yourself a falcon." [Yoshino]: "If you're already that conceited, why not just admit you don't respect anyone?" It feels like he has a point. [Yoshino]: "Stop hiding what you think about other people." [Kotarou]: "I've never been criticized that badly..." [Kotarou]: "But isn't it normal to hide your honest opinions to some degree?" [Yoshino]: "Oh? You're actually acknowledging the problem? I'm shocked." [Kotarou]: "Well, this is just my personality. Being more honest isn't going to change that." [Yoshino]: "...are you serious?" [Kotarou]: "O-of course..." Yoshino glares at me. [Kotarou]: "Wh-what...?" [Yoshino]: "...you have no soul." [Yoshino]: "You're just doing a wonderful job of acting bouncy and lively on the outside, Tennouji." [Kotarou]: "Mm..." So basically, this guy hates liars. In which case it makes perfect sense to hate me. I do half-ass a lot of things. He's right about that. Even I've been bothered by that. That's why I'm so envious of people who can live more seriously. I'll never be one of them. I'm a fake. A sham. An imitation. I could understand if I was looking up to everyone else. But putting myself down all the time is pointless. Acting bright and cheerful is the only way to move forward with life. Does that forced cheerfulness make me act like I have no worries, and make me feel superior to everyone? [Kotarou]: (Is that really the same as looking down on people...?) It's hard to hang out with people and be honest with them. I'm the type to make jokes out of everything, so it's really not for me... No, it'd be bad if I tried. I can't reveal my true self, ever. I'd just hurt people and drive them away. That's why I'm so cautious. I don't want to get so close to people I have to hurt them. This is the only good way I have of interacting with Yoshino. Is that really just conceit? [Kotarou]: (Dammit, I can't figure it out...) [Kotarou]: "Hey, Yoshino." [Yoshino]: "Shut up. I'll kill you." [Kotarou]: "What is youth?" [Yoshino]: "...huh?" [Kotarou]: "What's the right way to live?" [Yoshino]: "Beats me." [Kotarou]: "You keep telling me to take things seriously..." [Kotarou]: "But what is a serious life?" [Yoshino]: "It's your life, you figure it out." [Kotarou]: "I'm asking you because I can't figure it out...after lecturing me that much, you've gotta help me solve it." [Yoshino]: "Hmph! You're pathetic. "What is youth?"" He grumbles, irritated. [Yoshino]: "...who cares? Don't waste time thinking about it." [Kotarou]: "You won't even think about it...?" [Yoshino]: "I don't need to." [Kotarou]: "You know honesty isn't always the best policy, right?" [Yoshino]: "What?" He grabs me by the chest. [Kotarou]: "Perfectly honest people just get crushed by the real world." [Yoshino]: "Then let it crush me." [Kotarou]: "...screw that." [Yoshino]: "What?" He clenches a fist. [Kotarou]: "...I've got a right to have a good life." [Kotarou]: "I sure as hell have the right to use my head and keep the world from crushing me!" My fist sinks into Yoshino's side. I take just enough care to ensure his insides aren't destroyed. [Yoshino]: "...!!" He falls to his knees. He clutches his chest with one hand. This is why I can... [Yoshino]: ".........damn...it...!" [Yoshino]: "If you have...this much strength...then...!" [Kotarou]: "Who cares how strong I am?" [Kotarou]: "This strength doesn't have the slightest shred of value...!" [Kotarou]: "I want to have a good life." [Kotarou]: "Raw strength isn't going to accomplish that." [Kotarou]: "If I started using this...I'd just isolate myself from everyone permanently!" [Kotarou]: "That's the last thing I want!" [Kotarou]: "Don't decide how I should or shouldn't live my life!" [Yoshino]: ".........!" Yoshino slowly stands up. He glares at me...but walks on ahead, without counterattacking. I follow. Eventually, he opens his mouth. [Yoshino]: "I..." [Kotarou]: "Hm?" [Yoshino]: "I will never..." [Yoshino]: "Forgive someone who..." He isn't facing me. So I can't read his emotions. He leaves his sentence unfinished. We continue walking down the dry corridor, leaving an awkward atmosphere between us. [Kotarou]: "...nothing here." [Kotarou]: (I can't see anything eye-catching.) [Kotarou]: (There really is nothing in the school on holidays.) [Kotarou]: (...nothing at all.) [Kotarou]: "Oh wait...here's some information." Obtained Info: "The Seven Wonders: #3 - The Beethoven Mystery"! I see someone I think I might know.

<METADATA> Name: Akira Inoue | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School </METADATA> I've definitely met him somewhere. But I can't remember him. A weird, not-quite-an-acquaintance relation. He's wearing a suit, so he's probably a teacher. I can see why Yoshino's avoiding him. He hates talking to teachers and entering the staff room more than anything else at school. [Kotarou]: "Which teacher was he..." I can't remember which subject. But he seems to be flickering for some reason. Like a hologram about to die out... [Kotarou]: "Umm, you're going transparent." [???]: "...what?" He clenches his teeth. Then he stops flickering and looks normal again. [Kotarou]: "What on earth was that...?" [???]: "You should know that by now, Tennouji." [Kotarou]: "You know my name?" [???]: "Yes, I know who you are, because I am...your substitute teacher!" [Kotarou]: "Eh...?" Oh yeah, I remember him now. He comes so rarely that I only have a very faint impression of him. [Kotarou]: "S-sorry for forgetting you!" [Substitute]: "No, it's fine...you're hardly the only one..." [Kotarou]: "Really?" [Substitute]: "Other students, even the teachers I live with have been telling me I flicker lately..." [Kotarou]: "I seriously thought you'd vanish." [Substitute]: "My very existence is so meaningless to everyone I'm on the verge of vanishing." [Kotarou]: "That's not how it works." [Substitute]: "If no one acknowledges my existence, then I don't exist..." [Kotarou]: "Sensei...please get a hold of yourself. Just try acting more memorably." [Substitute]: "Even my parents have said I can hide in plain sight without even trying. There's no way I can grab anyone's attention." [Kotarou]: "That's just too sad...I won't forget you." [Substitute]: "Tennouji...you care about me...?" [Kotarou]: "You've taught me so many things, Sensei." I lie in the heat of the moment. [Substitute]: "Tennouji...I think I've found a ray of hope..." [Substitute]: "For the first time in my life, I feel like attempting a one-liner..." [Kotarou]: "You're gonna do that!?" [Substitute]: "That I shall..." Sensei builds up energy, and takes a pose, ready to release it all at once. [Substitute]: "As a teacher, I have a duty tooooooooooo――!" [Kotarou]: "Stop." He stops. [Substitute]: "Why did you stop me?" I shake my head in silence. He was obviously gearing up to let it rip. It would have been a pathetically terrible joke if I let him finish. [Kotarou]: "I was worried about you." That was the best I could do. [Substitute]: "I never thought anyone would worry about me so much...I'm so glad I became a teacher." [Substitute]: "I may not have completed my one-liner, but I'm happy." [Kotarou]: "Sensei..." We gaze at each other. You became friends with Substitute! [Kotarou]: "Amiiigo!" I've been getting a lot of leads on the "seven wonders" recently. If I can learn the truth behind them, I might be able to show up Inoue. I decide to take a quick detour while Yoshino isn't looking. [Kotarou]: (Wonder number five.) [Kotarou]: (The number of stairs changes at night...?) [Kotarou]: (Is that......real?) I try going up the stairs. As far as I know, all the staircases in the school have twelve steps. [Kotarou]: "Seven...eight..." [Kotarou]: "Nine...ten..." [Kotarou]: "Eleven...twelve..." [Kotarou]: "Thirteen." [Kotarou]: "...no way." My feet are standing on a thirteenth stair which shouldn't even exist. [Kotarou]: "Hiiiiiiiiiii!" Then I notice it's just a wood board. [Kotarou]: "That can't be right!" I kick it away. The board was lying perfectly horizontal. It's right where a thirteenth stair would be. I look around, and find several other boards leaning against the wall. I have no idea what they're being used for, but they've just been left here on the landing. So, during the day, someone puts a fallen board back up against the wall. Then at night it falls again. People coming to school at night encounter a thirteenth stair. The process repeats. A legend is born. [Kotarou]: "...that's a bit of a stretch." But that's what happened. I quickly compile a report. Now, who should I send it to... After a short while, Prez replies. [Akane]: "Boring. And it does nothing to prove the existence of superpowers." [Kotarou]: "...oh yeah, I had to prove those exist." You failed to impress Akane! After a short while, Inoue replies. [Inoue]: "It's decent, I guess. The ending is a bit weak." [Kotarou]: "...damn." You partially impressed Inoue! Yoshino starts walking ahead of me. I follow him. Then we discover a strange creature stuck to the wall. [Kotarou]: (Uwa...) It looks like an insect. Upon closer inspection, it's like a beetle. Yoshino walks by it unconcerned. [Kotarou]: (There's no way beetles would be active at this hour...) And it doesn't look quite right either. The shape is similar, but the horns are all wrong. They look more menacing, and there are five of them. [Kotarou]: "Uwa...this is even cooler than a Hercules beetle..." This bug tickles my boyish heart. I reach for it. But then... *shu!* [Kotarou]: "What!?" Somehow the beetle-thing moves behind me in an instant, leaving only an afterimage. [Kotarou]: "No way...my eyes couldn't even follow it..." The beetle's body shakes, as if it's laughing at me. [Kotarou]: "There!" *shu!* I try to hit him when his guard's down, but he effortlessly slides through my fingers. I feel a strong impact in my forehead, and stumble backward. [Kotarou]: "Guwa!? ...you hit me?" That was a strong attack. This is no ordinary insect. [Kotarou]: "...this guy might be a top-class unidentified mysterious insect." The insect flies off. I wanted to catch it, but I'm just not fast enough. [Child]: "You're so dumb, Onii-chan. No one can catch a Sukumon barehanded." [Kotarou]: "Wait, are you that kid from...?" [Child]: "You can have this. You'll need it." The kid gives me a toy gun. [Child]: "There's a grappling hook inside. You use that to catch them and lock them up." [Kotarou]: "Why catch them?" [Child]: "You still don't get it? You're so useless, Onii-chan. What would we do besides battle them?" The boy pats his full pockets. [Kotarou]: "...huh?"

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Child]: "Oh crap, there might be legendary Sukumon out tonight. I can't waste time here!" The boy leaves. [Kotarou]: "...this school has many mysteries." [Yoshino]: "...hey, Tennouji." [Yoshino]: "You spend all this time nagging me to talk to you but ignore me when I say something?" [Kotarou]: "Whoa! Sorry!" [Kotarou]: "I was thinking, sorry. What is it? Wanna talk about love?" [Yoshino]: "Hell no..." [Yoshino]: "Where are we?" [Kotarou]: "At school?" [Yoshino]: "I mean where in school." [Kotarou]: "Umm..." It's a perfectly ordinary corridor. The bright sunlight pouring in warms up the loose air. [Yoshino]: "We might be lost." [Kotarou]: "This place is pretty big." [Kotarou]: "If we go downstairs we should end up somewhere we recognize." [Yoshino]: "That's what I thought, but I haven't seen any stairs in a while." [Yoshino]: "And just now, I saw that." Yoshino points to a sign in a side corridor. "6th Floor" [Yoshino]: "When did we go from the 4th to the 6th floor?" [Kotarou]: "We climbed the stairs without thinking while we were talking...maybe?" [Yoshino]: "No, I would remember climbing stairs." [Yoshino]: "Damn, this is so stupid..." [Yoshino]: "Tennouji, you go ahead this time. I'll put up with any stupid conversation you want until we find our way out, so go find the exit." [Kotarou]: "Sure, this is what Mappie is made for." No dungeon can trap me as long as I have this. [Kotarou]: "Even Shinjuku station and Umechika...there is no dungeon this program cannot chart." I activate it. It doesn't work. [Kotarou]: "Huh?" [Yoshino]: "What's wrong?" [Kotarou]: "Apparently the cell phone isn't getting a signal." [Yoshino]: "...neither is mine." [Yoshino]: "I've never had trouble using it at school." [Kotarou]: "Well, Mappie should still be able to chart the school." I'll just have to walk around and fill in the map myself. It's not a complicated building so this should be doable. ...that was my naïve thinking. Objective changed to "Escape the School"! [Yoshino]: "Hey..." [Kotarou]: "What...?" [Yoshino]: "How long does this take?" [Kotarou]: "Not much longer, buddy." [Yoshino]: "I'm no buddy of yours." [Kotarou]: "But you are "some"body." [Yoshino]: "The point is, you're lost, right?" [Kotarou]: "No, we just never get anywhere no matter how far we walk." [Yoshino]: "So you're lost." [Kotarou]: "What's going on with this building?" [Yoshino]: "Beats me. I was gonna ask you." [Yoshino]: "I knew it was big, but there's no way we still haven't reached the end." [Kotarou]: "We've walked far enough to work up a sweat..." [Kotarou]: "Kotori would probably try making a bad pun about sweatshirts or something." [Yoshino]: "I know some entertainers who'd do the same thing..." [Yoshino]: "...I see, so that's what she's like." [Kotarou]: "What?" [Yoshino]: "Nothing." [Yoshino]: "Anyway, this hallway is too long. And it has no stairs. Something's screwy here." [Kotarou]: "It does seem to be going on forever..." [Kotarou]: "In fact..." I think something like this happened before. Have we really stumbled across some unknown part of the school? I don't like this. [Kotarou]: "Mappie's just showing an endless hallway." [Kotarou]: "There's no way the map can be this long without any tunnels or other hallways." [Kotarou]: "Something's very wrong." [Yoshino]: "Should we try going in a classroom?" [Kotarou]: "Good idea..." [Kotarou]: "So there's no one else here." Yoshino heads for the windows. He looks outside. [Yoshino]: "...I can't see a thing." [Kotarou]: "Huh?" He points, telling me to look myself. [Kotarou]: "Hmm..." [Kotarou]: "Hm? What's all this white stuff?" [Yoshino]: "It looks like fog." [Kotarou]: "The window won't open either." [Yoshino]: "Yeah. They should be on hinges, but they won't open. What's wrong with this room?" The windows won't move at all, like they're glued down. Like it's just a window-shaped relief in a solid wall... [Kotarou]: "The glass doesn't feel like glass either." When I touch it, it has the same hardness and coldness as a piece of marble. [Kotarou]: "Maybe if we try breaking it, we can find out what's going on." [Kotarou]: "And for breaking glass we need a gangster like you, Yoshino." [Yoshino]: "I've never been a gangster." [Yoshino]: "But I don't want to cause any unnecessary trouble at school. If you want it broken, do it yourself." [Kotarou]: "No, breaking glass on this floor is too risky. If someone's standing below..." [Kotarou]: "Only a professional gangster could avoid expulsion." [Yoshino]: "A gangster would get expelled too!" [Yoshino]: "...wait a moment." He leaves the classroom. He quickly returns. [Yoshino]: "The next classrooms along are the same." [Kotarou]: "I see...what do you think's going on?" [Yoshino]: "No idea. Maybe we're dreaming." [Yoshino]: "Or maybe something's tricking us." [Kotarou]: "Like what?" [Yoshino]: "...I have no idea. Maybe a tanuki, maybe Hanako-san, or maybe Mozart's in the music room." [Kotarou]: "Wow, it's like the seven wonders of the school..." I should probably try to research them for an article. ...once we escape. [Yoshino]: "This is getting stupid. I'm heading back." [Kotarou]: "That does seem like a good idea." [Yoshino]: "I don't like this place. It's like a copy of the school." [Yoshino]: "I don't know what's going on, but this place is definitely fake." [Kotarou]: "...fake?" We decide to turn back. We walk on in silence. Five minutes... Ten minutes... Fifteen minutes... How far did we walk when we came here? We should've passed that distance already, but we're still not back yet... I look at my phone's clock, and it gives a warning saying it can't access the time server. I have it set to synchronize the clock automatically, so evidently it can't do that right now. This has never happened before. [Kotarou]: "Yoshino, look at this." [Yoshino]: "...it's not getting a signal at all." [Kotarou]: "Maybe we've left the grid somehow." [Yoshino]: "What do you mean?"

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "You know, maybe we've been spirited away or something." [Kotarou]: "There are a lot of people who just disappear one day, never to be seen again..." [Yoshino]: "Screw that." [Kotarou]: "I hope it's that simple..." ...this has happened before, after all. [Yoshino]: "...this isn't right." He stops. I have to agree. [Kotarou]: "Yeah, we've walked at least as far as we came." There's no way it'd take a whole hour to get back to where we started. I try opening Mappie. Maps can't lie. [Kotarou]: "What!?" A chilling message is displayed. "Errors have been detected in the geographical data. Cannot produce an accurate map." [Kotarou]: "What the hell..." I close the warning dialog and slide over to the map. The place we came from has been blotted out with new terrain. Which means... This place has changed since the last time we walked through it. [Yoshino]: "What's that thing you keep looking at?" [Kotarou]: "Ah, just Mappie. It's a program that makes maps as you walk around." [Kotarou]: "It remembers everywhere we've been." [Kotarou]: "But according to Mappie, this place has changed since we were last here, so it's spitting out errors." [Kotarou]: "More precisely, the terrain here has been instantly and physically overwritten...I guess?" [Yoshino]: "...this is getting pretty weird." [Kotarou]: "Modern technology isn't helping us at all." [Yoshino]: "So we'll have to walk..." [Kotarou]: "Guess so. Who knows where the ghosts took us away to." [Yoshino]: "...you mean spirited away, don't you?" [Kotarou]: "But..." [Yoshino]: "And why ghosts?" [Kotarou]: "Well..." I don't really feel like explaining that right now. We continue walking. [Kotarou]: (It's a hallway.) [Kotarou]: (It's really long, but...) [Kotarou]: (Was it really this long?) [Kotarou]: (It's locked...it won't budge.) [Kotarou]: (This feels strange...) I stop walking in front of a certain room. There's a piece of paper taped to the door. [Kotarou]: (Here I am again...) Unfortunately, I don't have any fresh jokes to try here. Then I remember the man standing next to me. [Kotarou]: "Hmm, Yoshino, look at this." [Yoshino]: "...what?" He looks convinced this will be a waste of his time. I point to the paper, touching my finger to one of the letters. [Yoshino]: "A gig practice room...?" Gig. Among other things, it can mean a small-scale live concert. The word has a very radical image associated with it. Apparently one of those small groups beheaded a chicken on stage once. Yoshino seems like the type to enjoy hardcore music like that. It's only natural he'd react to that word. [Kotarou]: "The guys who polish their skills here probably do all sorts of late night gigs." [Kotarou]: "A secret gig held late at night in the school. This is no ordinary room." I always stick my neck out into things that look fun. I really want to make this guy go in there. Yoshino's interest is rising. He's feeling something from this. [Yoshino]: "...stop it. If you get me worked up you'll be seeing blood." [Kotarou]: "But Yoshino, how could you pass up a chance like this!?" [Yoshino]: "I never thought there could be such a bloody secret hidden in this school..." [Yoshino]: "Very well, let's find out what this is." There's no doubt he'll be my rival here... At this rate he's gonna get a pretty high score. Yoshino rolls his shoulders, then opens the door. Once Yoshino's attention turns to the inside of the room, I remove the scrap of paper I'd stuck to the sign. "Gag Practice Room" Yes...it's this place again. I follow Yoshino inside. [Yoshino]: "...no one's here." [Kotarou]: "It's just a practice room. They must want to leave it available for anyone to use." [Kotarou]: "Look, Yoshino, it's got a karaoke box and everything. I think it'll even score you." [Kotarou]: "Yeah, your score should appear here. And I hear it's a tough judge." [Yoshino]: "Really? It's going to score my gig?" [Kotarou]: "...have you actually had a gig before?" [Yoshino]: "Not sure. I just perform whenever I feel like it. I never arrange it ahead of time." [Yoshino]: "But random people always start cheering for whatever reason." [Yoshino]: "It's so irritating..." Though Yoshino doesn't seem completely unhappy about it. [Kotarou]: "I have no idea how it'll score you though." [Kotarou]: "It might be hard for even your soul to bend this machine to your will." [Yoshino]: "...stand back. I don't want to injure you with the shockwave..." [Kotarou]: "No problem, Yoshino-san." I'm not sure I understand, but whatever's about to happen should be hilarious. Yoshino's solo performance. It begins with a poem. [Yoshino]: "...my old scars ache from shame. Cry before you die from the crime, crime, crime!" [Yoshino]: "I'll never protect my life, so I can throw it away whenever I need to." [Yoshino]: "Fear not the form of death, your heart has the heat to beat, beat, heat!" [Yoshino]: "I am the atonement of living heat and sad, wet darkness!" [Yoshino]: "Hold your ground! The only truth is what you can hit with your fist! Bite into it! Blood has only one taste!" [Yoshino]: "No one will ever save me. Don't stain me with love. Don't tempt me with feeling!" [Yoshino]: "It all begins after all is lost..." Yoshino holds one fist up in the air (it's called the Yoshino Stance), indicating the end of the gig. I am silent. If I open my mouth even a tiny bit, I might keel over laughing. But if I laugh now he'll kill me. [Kotarou]: (He'll never talk to me again...!) This is a critical moment. But the world is entirely indifferent. A number is displayed on the wall, like in karaoke. "95/100!!" [Kotarou]: "Bwaaaaaaaaaaaa!!" I manage to hold my mouth shut. If I didn't, I'd never stop laughing. [Woman's Voice]: "That joke was worth 95 out of 100 points." [Yoshino]: "...hmph, 95." Thankfully, the synthetic voice is just hard enough to understand that he didn't notice it said "joke". [Woman's Voice]: "It was wonderful. There is no room for criticism." [Yoshino]: "...stop, your praise only softens the fire of my soul..." [Woman's Voice]: "Your talent is godly. Bravo. No one can keep a straight face after hearing that." [Yoshino]: "...hu." [Woman's Voice]: "You should become a professional immediately. That is your duty to Japan, no, to the world."

<METADATA> Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Yoshino]: "I am only a lone wing. A weightless, pitch black wing. I can't carry something as heavy as a duty." [Woman's Voice]: "...your time will come. And I will be waiting." [Kotarou]: "...! ...～!!" I can't hold it in any longer. I run out into the corridor. I find a bathroom, enter a stall, then laugh my heart out. I laugh so hard I can't stop crying. After I finally finish, I return to the hallway to find Yoshino waiting for me with a proud face. [Yoshino]: "...what took so long?" [Kotarou]: "Hu...!" [Yoshino]: "Hm?" I desperately hold back the urge to burst out laughing again. [Kotarou]: "...it's nothing." [Yoshino]: "Weirdo. I'm gonna keep going now. You...just do whatever." We start walking again. He's definitely in a good mood now. Normally he wouldn't wait for me like that. [Kotarou]: (Maybe doing stuff like this is part of friendship...) I played with Yoshino a little. I remember a strange thing a first-year boy told me before. [Kotarou]: "...a group of old men in our uniforms." [Yoshino]: "What?" Yoshino had been walking ahead of me. [Kotarou]: "Hm? I've just heard a rumor that some old men wearing our school's uniform have been seen around here." [Yoshino]: "I've heard that one." [Kotarou]: "Really?" [Yoshino]: "Yeah, I don't lie..." And then Yoshino tells his story. A story of a certain rumor flowing through the school. [Yoshino]: "They're students taking late night classes." [Kotarou]: "We offer those?" [Yoshino]: "Not publicly. But somehow people seem to know about it." [Kotarou]: "So those guys might be studying right here and now?" [Yoshino]: "According to the rumor, their classes happen at night, much later than everyone else's." [Kotarou]: "That really is a legend. I can't buy that at all." [Yoshino]: "...can't blame you. I don't believe it either." [Yoshino]: "But the rumor definitely exists." [Kotarou]: "Hmm..." Back then, given the direction the first-year was running... Those late night classes would have to be in the direction we're heading. [Yoshino]: "It's best to think of it as a legend. There's no way to get students for a class you never announce." Is that really true? If there are students going to late night classes despite that... [Voice]: "...uuoshaaaaaaa～..." A throaty voice comes from farther down the hall. [Yoshino]: "What was that voice!?" [Kotarou]: "Let's go!" We dash to the source. We reach the classroom it came from. We can tell there are several people inside. [Yoshino]: "...I'm gonna open it." [Kotarou]: "...yeah, let's confirm the legend." [Yoshino]: "Hah!" Yoshino shoves the door open! [Kotarou]: "!!?" We freeze on the spot. Inside...there are strong old men. But not just one or two of them. Almost forty of them. They're all of different ages, but the youngest look around 25 while the oldest look around 50. Every last one of them is glaring at us. Thick animosity flows toward us. [Kotarou]: "Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!" [Yoshino]: "Uuoooooooooooooooo!?" Yoshino and I run away in perfect sync. Behind us we can hear screams of "Wait up you brats!" [Kotarou]: "Wh-what the hell is that!?" [Yoshino]: "Those are super seniors...they got held back entire decades, but they still haven't given up on graduating!" [Kotarou]: "That's just nuts!!" But he's right, that anger just now...without a doubt, that's the same grudge all held-back students feel toward ones who advanced normally. [Yoshino]: "That rumor was true...this school really is screwy!" The old men continue chasing us. The legendary super seniors of Kazamatsuri Academy are real! Make an article out of this? I put together a simple report on this. Once we're out of here I'll send this to Inoue... [Kotarou]: (Why would I make an article out of this? ...those old men might have me killed.) You chose personal safety over journalistic integrity! I find something interesting. [Kotarou]: "Wait, Yoshino." [Yoshino]: "No." [Kotarou]: "Don't disobey for no reason. That just feels weird." [Yoshino]: "Fine, what?" [Kotarou]: "Look...I've never seen anything like this." [Yoshino]: "Where? It's too dark for me to see." [Kotarou]: "On the floor. This one part is weird." Yoshino strains his eyes. He finds it quickly. [Yoshino]: "That part does look like it's a different color. Is the paint fading?" [Kotarou]: "It's not just that. Can you feel the pressure here?" [Yoshino]: "Pressure? From the floor?" He gazes at it for a while, then shakes his head. [Yoshino]: "...I have no idea what you're talking about. What's wrong with that spot?" [Kotarou]: "I thought you'd be able to feel it, since you live on the battlefield every day." [Yoshino]: "Mmm...quit dodging the question. Tell me what you think." I nod deeply, then look into Yoshino's eyes seriously. [Kotarou]: "That floor's probably poisoned." He walks off silently. [Kotarou]: "Wait, I'm not joking. I seriously think that's what this is." [Yoshino]: "And that's why I'm ignoring you." [Kotarou]: "Stepping on those could be really bad...you'd better avoid them." [Yoshino]: "As if." And yet, Yoshino avoids all the green spots on the floor ahead. That annoys me. [Kotarou]: "You are avoiding them! You said you wouldn't listen to me, so step on one!" [Yoshino]: "I was going to avoid these weird spots anyway." [Kotarou]: "Liar! You're just scared because I told you they'd be poisonous!" [Yoshino]: "...scared?" He stops. [Yoshino]: "Fool. Why would I be scared of the floor?" [Kotarou]: "But you are, aren't you?" Yoshino glances at the poisonous floor. [Yoshino]: "Hmph, this isn't even a threat." [Kotarou]: "Wait, Yoshino, the only way to prove that is by stepping on it." [Kotarou]: "I'll step on it before you. And that will prove I'm a man." [Yoshino]: "What...?" [Kotarou]: "You can walk behind me and watch how fearless I am." I step firmly toward a poisoned spot. [Yoshino]: "Wait a minute!" He pushes me aside and goes ahead. [Yoshino]: "I'm going first here! You follow behind me!" He stomps on the green floor. [Yoshino]: "See? Nothing. It's just paint. If this is all it takes to scare you, your instincts are nothing impressive." Yoshino claims victory. However...

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "...Yoshino...something's wrong." [Yoshino]: "Ah? What?" [Kotarou]: "That's not the right color..." [Yoshino]: "I am standing on the green part." [Kotarou]: "Not that...your face." [Yoshino]: "...my face?" [Kotarou]: "Your face is turning greeeeeeeeen!" The green man of terror has appeared. You might think just turning someone green doesn't make them scary. But you'd be wrong. Bluffs like that fly away the moment you see the real thing. I'm scared. I'm far too scared. I instinctively step back. [Yoshino]: "Whaaaat!? My hands are green!" He notices the change. Every part of his skin is turning green. [Yoshino]: "What the hell is this!?" [Kotarou]: "Use your phone! Modern phones include scanning programs!" [Yoshino]: "Th-this thing!?" Yoshino puts his arm up to his phone's sensor. [Yoshino]: "M-my status has changed to POISON!?" [Kotarou]: "Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaa! The floor really is poisoned!" Unable to endure the terror, I flee. [Yoshino]: "Wha―...! Don't run from me!" [Kotarou]: "Stay away! You'll infect me!" [Yoshino]: "Screw you! This happened because I did what you said! Take responsibility! Gimme the antidoooooooooooooote!" [Kotarou]: "I don't have ooooooooooooone!" Yoshino chases me. [Yoshino]: "What the hell does this POISON status even mean!?" [Kotarou]: "I don't know! Uwaaaaa, stay awaaaaaaaaaaay!" [Yoshino]: "Y-you planned this, didn't you? I know you did! Nothing else makes sense...and that means you must have an antidote just in case...give it to meeeeeee!" [Kotarou]: "Nooo! This had nothing to do with me! Stop, stay away! Go to a doctor!" [Yoshino]: "Uuu! Th-the more I walk the more stamina I lose!!" Dark green Yoshino juice falls from the corners of his mouth. He's beyond all help now. [Kotarou]: "Yoshino, give up...it's too late now...you'll die before you reach the hospital." [Yoshino]: "Screw...that..." [Kotarou]: "At least die like a man, Yoshino! Don't look so pathetic! Act cool and badass in your final moments!" [Yoshino]: "You dumbass...I'm not dead yet...guhuu!" He coughs up more Yoshino juice. It falls to the floor and starts making white smoke. [Kotarou]: "You're a walking biohazard!!" That juice is more poison. If Yoshino gets outside the school, Kazamatsuri will be in real danger! [Kotarou]: "Uu...buddy, don't hate me for this." I take a fighting stance. [Yoshino]: "Wha―...you, that stance...are you serious!?" [Kotarou]: "I cannot allow you to leave this place, even if it costs me my life." The faces of my friends pass through my mind. My will to fight rises. [Kotarou]: "I will face you with my true power. Prepare yourself, Yoshino...releasing all prana." [Yoshino]: "...is this our last battle? ...goddammit!" [Kotarou]: "Uuoooooooo!" [Yoshino]: "Oooooooooh!" And then our fists... [Kotarou]: "Wait, if I touch you I'll be poisoned toooooooooooo!" I run at full speed. [Yoshino]: "You traitoooooooooor!" We're no longer thinking rationally. Which is why I fail to notice. As I run, I step on a yellow spot. *bzzt* *bzzt* *bzzt!* [Kotarou]: "Guwaaaaaaaaa!" [Kotarou]: "What...is that...?" I take out my phone with shaking hands. I check my own status with the sensor. Application: Mobile Doctor. On the LCD screen, a digital doctor pops up and smiles brightly. "Your current status effect is PARALYZE♪" [Kotarou]: "Uwaaaaa! This floor is drugged toooooo!" [Yoshino]: "Ha! You've run out of luck!" Yoshino approaches. [Yoshino]: "Fall to purgatory with me and dance with demooooooooooons!" He steps on the drugged floor too. [Yoshino]: "Ugyaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!" ...was he really this stupid? Actually, the poison might be affecting his brain somehow. [Kotarou]: "Ababababa!" [Yoshino]: "Nngigigigi!" We both feel ourselves go numb. Fortunately, the paralysis effect is temporary. We both leap onto a normal part of the floor. Then I notice Yoshino's skin is no longer green. Apparently it wears off after a while. [Kotarou]: "Are you all right, my one true friend! I was super worried about you!" I rush to Yoshino's side. [Yoshino]: "Don't lie about that!!" [Kotarou]: "Gobuuu!" He hits me as hard as possible. Somehow I apologize enough that we can continue our adventure... [Kotarou]: "Yoshino, that wall's green." [Yoshino]: "...oooooh!?" He overreacts backwards. Apparently the green traumatized him.

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> October 12th (Tuesday) I wake up. Time for another day... I reach the classroom and start my usual routine. [Kotarou]: "Hey, Ohtori, I was thinking, wouldn't "See Naples and You'll Die" be a good name for a movie?" [Ohtori]: "You've been thinking about that all weekend...?" [Kotarou]: "What do you think? "See Naples and You'll Die"!" [Ohtori]: "I guess it's memorable." [Kotarou]: "But why would Naples kill you...maybe there's a Naples virus." [Ohtori]: "Or just Naples Syndrome?" [Kotarou]: "I see. People with that syndrome want to see Naples, but they'll die if they do, so the movie would be about their anguish..." [Ohtori]: "Wh-what's wrong? Why are you tearing up?" [Kotarou]: "Nothing, just...I want to go back home to Naples, but I'll die if I do..." [Kotarou]: "I was imagining an old man saying that solemnly, and it made me so sad. It's as good as The Green Mile." [Ohtori]: "Umm...I guess someone might cry, but..." And then I sit down. Time for a test. The class feels different today. Almost everyone's here today, and some of them have their textbooks open for last-minute review. There's almost no idle chatter. Just the occasional asking for help with random questions. Everyone's twitchy. [Kotarou]: "...uuu." I open up my textbook and skim through it. I'm too tired to concentrate properly. [Kotarou]: (I'm not ready for this at all...) I'm definitely doing make-ups. The issue is just how many. I have three tests today. Last night, I stayed up late studying and managed to get a feel for two of the subjects. The third I'm sacrificing. It's my unavoidable punishment for not preparing. [Kotori]: "...morning." Upon entering the classroom, Kotori feels the tension, shrinks down and heads for her seat. Chatting is not an option today. [Kotarou]: "Uuu..." We can't chat, but... [Teacher]: "Okaaay, everyone, that's enough test prep～" The teacher arrives, and the classroom fills with regretful groans. The test begins.

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi </METADATA> October 13th (Wednesday) Huh? ...it's morning. Oh well, let's go to school. [Kotarou]: "Ohtori!! Sorry to revive an old gag, but what about localizing "Jaws" as "Suicide Jawbone Team"!?" [Ohtori]: "Don't just rush in here and ask weird questions!!" [Kotarou]: "It's not cool?" [Ohtori]: "It couldn't sound more B-movie-like." [Kotarou]: "It's really not cool?" [Ohtori]: "No it's not." [Kotarou]: "No..." [Ohtori]: "You still aren't bored of this topic..." Okay, more tests today.

<METADATA> Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> October 14th (Thursday) [Kotarou]: (Hmm...it's morning.) Let's go to school. I'm living on autopilot right now. [Kotarou]: "Good morning, Ohtori!" [Ohtori]: "Good morning." [Kotarou]: "What was first period today..." [Kotarou]: "Hm? What's wrong, Ohtori?" [Ohtori]: "Wh-why are you asking me so many questions!?" [Kotarou]: "Umm...I thought it was normal." [Ohtori]: "Well, it is normal, but!" [Kotarou]: "Then what's wrong?" [Ohtori]: "U-umm...good morning!" [Kotarou]: "What? Were you looking forward to my next movie title joke?" [Ohtori]: "Of course not!!" Okay, time for another test... [Kotarou]: ".........huh?" I think I lost consciousness at some point... [Schoolboy A]: "The midterms are finally over..." [Schoolboy B]: "Yeah, I feel so refreshed now." [Kotarou]: (The test ended while I was asleep!?) It's supposed to take three days to do all the tests, but I don't remember those days at all. [Kotarou]: "Kotori-san." [Kotori]: "Yeah!" She's lively... [Kotarou]: "I wanna ask you something." [Kotori]: "Uh-huh?" [Kotarou]: "My mind was a little hazy during those tests, so I'm not really sure, but..." [Kotori]: "Uh-huh?" [Kotarou]: "I'm wondering if I slept through some of them..." [Kotori]: "Uh-huh." [Kotarou]: "That's getting annoying." [Kotori]: ".........damn." [Kotarou]: "Seriously, was I?" "Hmmm..." Kotori thinks. [Kotori]: "You were completely silent the whole time you took the test, Kotarou-kun." [Kotori]: "But..." [Kotarou]: "...but?" [Kotori]: "Your eyes were dead." [Kotarou]: "...ah, I see." Apparently I'd fallen into a mental state where my brain used its resources for nothing but survival...and test-taking. [Kotarou]: (I guess it could be worse...but how were my answers?) I remember almost nothing so I don't know. I'll just have to wait for the grades. The class is bustling. Of course it is. The tests just ended. This is one of those times when I feel an invisible wall looming between me and them. And this is when I force myself in somehow. I want to participate in the conversation. That's the only way to ease my anxiety. But every time I do that, I leave Kotori behind. So this time... [Kotarou]: "Wanna go to club?" [Kotori]: "Okay～" We have a place to go together. I open up the Occult Club blog site. [Kotarou]: "When did I last visit this site..." [Kotori]: "Before the tests I think." [Kotarou]: "You're right. And I tried posting some stuff there." [Kotarou]: "This is kind of exciting. I wonder what responses we'll get this time..." [Kotori]: "...did you forget about how much anger that one poster caused you?" [Kotarou]: "That sounds familiar, but..." I feel like I got past that somehow. I must've said whatever I felt like saying at the time. After you resolve something, you tend to forget about it pretty quickly. [Kotori]: "...I wonder if he's still posting." [Kotarou]: "He wouldn't keep doing that for days. He was only doing it on impulse anyway." [Kotori]: "But Kotarou-kun, the internet is..." [Kotarou]: "It's fine, it's fine." [Kotarou]: "The new Occult Club will be dealing with weird stuff, but what we actually do is perfectly safe and reasonable." [Kotarou]: "There's no room for criticism." [Kotori]: "That's a cool plan, but..." The moment I see the thread, I am horrified. [Kotarou]: "Wondrous! Look at that trackback number!" My article has been linked to by several other sites. Nothing could make me happier. [Kotarou]: "This is why trackback is so amazing..." [Kotarou]: "Aw yeah! Aw yeah!" I pump my right fist up in the air then rapidly return to my seat. [Kotori]: "How do we know if that number really...?" [Kotarou]: "Look at that! There are a ton of comments too!" [Kotarou]: "This is incredible." [Kotori]: "...really?" Prez is focused on reading a book as usual, but today she's smirking for some reason. [Kotarou]: "What?" [Akane]: "Hu..." She looks back down at her book. She knows something. But for now I leave her alone and start checking the comments. All of the comments are underneath one post. Poster: Mission Chief Title: Re: Did I scare you? (lol) "I will kill you." I almost say "Oh..." out loud. I wrote that. I remember it now. I vented my anger a few nights ago by posting that. That was so stupid... It hits me as I read it again. As rude as that guy was, this was going too far. Maybe I let that first-year get to me too much. [Kotori]: "Owaaa!" She reads the troubling post and screams. [Kotori]: "You said you were calm!" [Kotarou]: "Sorry, I logged in from home and..." [Kotori]: "Why do you have such a short fuse?" [Kotori]: "Why would you do something like this?" [Kotarou]: "My fuse got lit. My body just wouldn't cool down. I had to do something before it would implode. I had to release the flames inside me." [Kotori]: "Idiot." [Kotarou]: "...yes." [Kotarou]: "Maybe I should apologize?" [Kotori]: "Yes." [Kotarou]: "That first-year's probably trembling in fear now..." [Akane]: "Stupidity on the internet is to be punished." Akane suddenly interjects. [Kotarou]: "...eh? What's that from?" [Akane]: "Read some more first." [Kotarou]: "Haa..." I try scrolling down. There are a ton of comments. Far more than I'd ever imagined. [Kotarou]: "The scroll bar isn't even moving..." That shows just how many new comments there are. Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 1, Class: Secret Title: Death Threat! Look at that! (lol) Deluded people like you always love making death threats! (lol) And now you've done it! (lol) Ah, but make sure you don't get yourself hurt (lol) My friends are far stronger than you (lol) Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 3, Class: Secret Title: A death threat...? >I will kill you Aaah, I think this is a bit much (lol) You need to get better at dealing with trolls. Too bad for you! ...does a two week suspension sound right?

<METADATA> Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 2, Class: Secret Title: Isn't that going a bit far? Ummm, the Occult Research Club just started up again, right? It's not good to start fighting with people after your very first post. His attitude was terrible, but you're supposed to ignore people like him. Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 2, Class: Secret Title: How stupid are you? I dunno what kind of an idiot you are, but you get riled up way too easily (lol) Who would take such blatant trolling seriously? Do you live in the middle of nowhere or something? Be grateful only people at this school can see it. But you've still embarrassed yourselves in front of all your classmates. Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 1, Class: Secret Title: lol what? Sorry, I probably shouldn't laugh at this. But "I'll kill you" was so sudden it was just hilarious. Your leader must be very pure at heart. But he'll have to be suspended or arrested. Have fun atoning for your sin～ There's countless more where that came from... Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 3, Class: Secret Title: Too funny That was great (lol) Now it's just funny. I was pretty tired after all that studying, so laughing at this felt great. Thanks. Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 2, Class: Secret Title: Isn't this bad? Isn't this kinda bad? Death threats are a crime. People have been arrested for doing this on normal message boards. I don't think the school would be okay with this. Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 3, Class: Secret Title: That's the teacher's problem The teachers will decide if it's really that bad. But first, Occult Club leader, you should really apologize for this. Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 2, Class: Secret Title: The teachers? I can't agree with you on that. This is a comment thread for a school club. Shouldn't this be managed primarily by the students? And it's obviously not acceptable, so why wait for a teacher's decision? If you were on a train where someone punched someone else, would you wait for the conductor to decide it was bad before intervening? Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 1, Class: Secret Title: That's just wrong Are all third-years this inhuman? Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 3, Class: Secret Title: Don't flame me Why are you insulting me? I didn't say anything wrong. You're the ones who don't know how the world works! Poster: A Kendou Team Member, Year: 3, Class: Secret Title: Don't get so mad To the guy who said the teachers should decide if it's a problem. As a fellow third-year, I will give you a piece of advice. You are wrong. Judgments of right and wrong should be done fairly and objectively. It isn't about what any specific person thinks. Of course teachers are often better at making these judgments than us, but relying on them in an obvious case like this is just irresponsible. Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 1, Class: Secret Title: The Occult Club's in the wrong They are. How could they start this and then ignore it? Go apologize already, stop ignoring the problem. Poster: A Random Handicrafts Club Member, Year: 2, Class: Secret Title: Apologize You really should. No organization should make statements like that. Not only that first-year, but everyone using this site, If you looked at some past blogs before starting your own, you'd see that stuff like this has happened several times before... Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 1, Class: Secret Title: Stop demanding an apology That's not right. It's up to him whether he apologizes or not. You're the ones feeding the troll by overreacting to this. Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 3, Class: Secret Title: Kids these days You have no sense of morals, do you? When you do something wrong, you apologize. You're required to take a class on this in elementary school. Did you forget it already? Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 2, Class: Secret Title: It's a wank fest! This is getting good, I like it～ (lol) Has the Occult Club still not responded? Please don't ignore this, that's just lame (lol) Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 2, Class: Secret Title: Still? They aren't doing anything. Maybe that Mission Chief guy is busy with tests? Poster: Mission Impossible, Year: 3, Class: Secret Title: Stop You'd better dissolve that club of yours. That's the only way to save face after this. You guys have no right to run a club in Kazamatsuri Academy. What the hell is "occult research" anyway? ... You stupid― That's enough. This just hurts to read... I scrolled down some more, but there's almost a hundred more left... [Kotori]: "This is..." Almost all of the comments are similar. Abuse, insults, blame, arguments, counter-arguments... [Kotarou]: "It's...it's...it's..." [Kotarou]: "It's a sea of flaaaaaaaaaaames!" [Kotori]: "A storm, a storm's brewing!" We lament over our blog going up in flames. [Kotarou]: "Wh-what the hell is this!?" [Kotarou]: "I'm not even a politician, why do people have to freak out over one stupid thing I say!?" [Kotarou]: "The internet is scary!" [Akane]: ".........fool." After having a meeting with Kotori, we conclude that the best course of action is to attempt negotiations with the first-year. [Kotori]: "I never said that." [Kotarou]: "Damn." [Kotori]: "You can't go look for him when you're that irrational." [Kotori]: "Let's solve internet problems on the internet." [Kotarou]: "...so I can't rely on anyone else." [Kotori]: "Just apologize and put an end to it." [Kotarou]: "...yeah, but..." [Kotarou]: "I wouldn't lose to him in real life." [Kotori]: "What are you thinking?" [Kotarou]: "Of course I won't use violence..." [Kotarou]: "But I dunno what Yoshino-san would do..." [Kotori]: "You're gonna drag Yoshino-kun into this?" [Kotori]: "I don't think he'd..." [Kotarou]: "No, I can do it." [Kotori]: "But if you don't apologize now, the school might set its sights on you." [Kotarou]: "Would just apologizing really cut it?" [Kotori]: "Of course, if you do it properly." [Kotarou]: "...all right. This affects us directly, so I should be upfront about it." [Kotori]: "Good boy, good boy." "Hello, students of Kazamatsuri Academy. This is the Occult Research Club!" "We want to have a nice, healthy club lifestyle revolving around happy and fun occult happenings around us, and hopefully forming connections with many of you." "I have something to apologize for." "Recently, I posted an inappropriate comment on this message board." "It was a stupid and impulsive comment, and it was unacceptable in any public forum."

<METADATA> Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School </METADATA> "I sincerely admit that my mindset was inappropriate for someone managing an extracurricular group. I will make an effort never to do such a thing again." "I am truly sorry for what I said!" I upload my apology comment. [Kotarou]: "Huu...that was tiring." [Kotarou]: "Anything wrong with it?" [Kotori]: "No, this should get the point across." [Akane]: "I hope so." She keeps commenting on what we're doing despite not helping at all... After updating the blog, I feel like I've finished a whole day's worth of work. I can't imagine how hard it must be to process claims in a real company. [Kotarou]: "Now then, let's all cheer up and prepare for today's activities! Or as an acronym, L.A.C.U.P.T.A.!" [Kotori]: "La-...?" [Kotarou]: "Let's LACUPTA!" [Kotori]: "But it sounds like..." [Akane]: "Tennouji, Tennouji." [Kotarou]: "What?" [Akane]: "Posts." [Kotarou]: "Eh? Already?" Why do they all react instantly? [Kotarou]: "That's way too fast..." [Akane]: "They must be bored now that the tests are over." [Akane]: "The kids here love festivities like this." [Kotarou]: "It's not a festival from our point of view..." I refresh the page immediately. Poster: It's me! (Level 30 Troll), Year: 1, Class: Secret Title: So you finally apologized It's me again (lol) About damn time you posted an apology (lol) You sound like you mean it, but it's still pretty stiff (lol) You'd better fix that (lol) If you fear me now, you'd better keep up that attitude (lol) I like it when my victims learn some manners (lol) [Kotori]: "K-Kotarou-kun..." [Kotarou]: "...Yoshiiino." [Kotori]: "Eh?" [Kotarou]: "...grant me...the power of darkness..." [Kotarou]: "By your name, your glory, open the gates to the afterlife, and give me the power of all the ancient armies who have ever been sent to your domain..." [Kotarou]: "Come forth, prince of treacherous darkness, Yoshiiino! Oooh, Yoshiiino!" [Kotori]: "Not good, he's trying to summon something evil." [Kotori]: "Girl punch!" [Kotarou]: "Healing-type!" [Kotarou]: "...huh?" [Kotarou]: "What...was I...?" [Kotori]: "You were so mad you lost control again." [Kotori]: "You're fine now." [Kotarou]: "Am I? ...I'm not sure I understand, but thank you." She keeps saving me when I'm not aware of it... [Kotarou]: "...still, this guy's such an asshole." [Kotarou]: "He needs to learn some respect for his seniors." [Kotori]: "You're right. That's not how anyone should act to strangers." [Kotori]: "I'm sure something horrible happened in his childhood." [Kotori]: "So try to forgive him." [Kotarou]: "Okay...but still...I hope he gets sick of it after this." [Akane]: "New post, Tennouji." [Kotarou]: "Daaa!" Poster: It's me! (Level 30 Troll), Year: 1, Class: Secret Title: Okay, time's up Come on, I know you little bugs are weak but stop being so slow (lol) Get over it already (lol) Anyway, your time limit's up, so all the little bugs in that shitty club of yours need to punch each other ten times (lol) Report back once you're done, then I'll give you your next order (lol) [Akane]: "This first-year doesn't want to give up, it seems." [Kotarou]: "He's evil..." [Kotori]: "By the way, Prez, something's puzzling me." [Kotori]: "How come all the other people here aren't scolding him?" [Akane]: "Because there are countless others like him." [Akane]: "Complaining about each of them is just a waste of time...when you do something public like manage a blog, you need to be able to differentiate between some random idiot and someone who actually deserves a response." [Kotori]: "...makes sense." [Kotarou]: "You said he'd be nice in real life, Kotori, but do you still think so?" [Kotori]: "Hmmm, well he shouldn't be this confrontational at least." [Kotori]: "If he acted like this in real life the whole school would know about him." [Akane]: "True. I haven't heard of any first-years with such terrible behavior." [Akane]: "He probably only acts tough on the internet. An internet Hercules." [Kotarou]: "A netcules..." [Akane]: "Stop shortening everything." [Kotori]: "You don't wanna look for him, do you?" [Kotarou]: "I'm not going to pick a fight. I'm calm now." [Kotarou]: "We will merely battle." [Kotori]: "That's a kind of fight♪" [Kotarou]: "...but we can't let him keep doing this, can we?" [Kotarou]: "He'll drive away any decent posters." [Kotori]: "But if you use violence..." [Kotarou]: "I will not do that." I tell her with a serious face. [Kotarou]: "I know all too well what that would bring. I won't do something that stupid." [Kotarou]: "Violence is intolerable, no matter what the excuse...people need to work out their differences through words." [Kotarou]: "We need to talk until we can reach an agreement." [Kotori]: "Kotarou-kun...I'm so proud." [Kotarou]: "Have I...redeemed myself?" [Kotori]: "Yes, you're a saint now." [Kotori]: "You think so too, right Prez?" [Akane]: "Yes." [Akane]: "You're all talking like saints." [Kotarou]: "...is that a compliment?" [Kotarou]: "Anyway, so I want to have a calm talk with him." [Kotori]: "...okay. But I'm worried." [Kotori]: "Kotarou-kun, you always start acting irrational at the worst times." [Kotarou]: "...I'm trying to fix that." [Kotori]: "You can't throw away your reasoning like a piece of scrap paper." [Kotarou]: "Then come with me, Kotori." [Kotarou]: "As a member of the Occult Club." [Kotori]: "Eh? But I'm scared..." [Kotori]: "He writes such mean things!" So I can't bring Kotori with me. [Kotarou]: "Then I'll be fine on my own. I won't do anything mean to him, I promise." [Kotori]: "...muuuu." [Kotori]: "If you're sure." Yes, I have permission. [Kotarou]: "Okay then. Umm, Prez, could we find out who wrote these posts?"

<METADATA> Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Akane]: "You mean exactly who?" [Kotarou]: "Haa...so it is hopeless..." [Akane]: "...it can be done." [Akane]: "But I don't like using this trick." [Kotarou]: "Then just this once, please, just once!" I put my hands together and beg. [Akane]: "...fine." Prez picks up a random phone. After a few minutes, she puts it back. [Akane]: "He's in class C. His name is..." [Kotarou]: "That was fast." [Akane]: "My intelligence network is managed by a teacher." [Kotori]: "Th-that's some amazing influence..." [Kotarou]: "That's black magic. It can't revive or heal people but it's great at hurting them." [Kotori]: "We'd better stay on her good side." I write down the guy's name and head out right away. [Kotarou]: "Yoshino, it's battle time." School's already over, but Yoshino's still sitting in his seat. He doesn't like getting up the instant homeroom ends. The crowds are a pain. He likes leaving slowly, by himself, after all his classmates have dispersed. Apparently that's part of being a badass. [Yoshino]: "...say that again." [Kotarou]: "Yeah, no problem..." [Kotarou]: "Yoshino, the angel of final confrontations has descended from the realm of those who died to fate." I tried saying it Yoshino-style. His eyebrow raises. That's a good reaction. [Yoshino]: ".........huh, perfect." [Yoshino]: "I'm getting pretty damn sick of playing nice around you." [Kotarou]: "I'd like to settle this for good." [Yoshino]: "As do I. I accept your challenge." [Yoshino]: "Where and when would you like to die? You proposed it, so you can choose." [Kotarou]: "I'll get to where, but as for when..." [Kotarou]: "I was thinking right now." [Yoshino]: "―!!!" [Yoshino]: "...I'm overjoyed, Tennouji." [Yoshino]: "This couldn't be better. This is heaven!" [Kotarou]: "Is now good for you, Yoshino?" [Yoshino]: "Of course. I would never refuse." [Yoshino]: "Take me wherever you want. There I will burn combat instincts into you with the heat of battle!" [Kotarou]: "This way..." We walk down the hallway. We're both silent. Men with hardened resolves need no words. Now, let's go...to that fateful place... [Kotarou]: "...we're here." [Yoshino]: "What?" He looks around. [Yoshino]: "Isn't this...the first-years' floor?" [Yoshino]: "You want to have our fight here?" [Kotarou]: "Yes." [Kotarou]: "Are you afraid? Can you not fight at full potential if people are watching?" [Yoshino]: "...it's not that, just..." [Yoshino]: "Wouldn't it be a pain if teachers showed up?" [Kotarou]: "Then we just have to finish before they do." I try imitating one of his smiles (the "that's why I hate the way you talk goddammit" kind). [Kotarou]: "You can do that, right? Mister Sonic Boom?" [Yoshino]: "...heh, you're right about that." [Yoshino]: "I never thought you'd propose something that hardcore." [Kotarou]: "Here goes..." Yoshino takes on a fighting pose. A boxing style. Part of me expected that. [Kotarou]: "Heeey, we're second-years, but..." I ignore Yoshino entirely and say hello to class C. [Kotarou]: "Is there an "Egashira" here?" [Yoshino]: "...huh?" [First-Year Boy]: "Ah, yes, I know him." A nearby boy answers. [Kotarou]: "Yeah, I think we're after a pointy-headed guy covered in ash wearing riveted leather and licking his favorite knife." [First-Year Boy]: "Umm, no one like that exists in real life..." [First-Year Boy]: "But I'll go get him." [Kotarou]: "Thanks." [Egashira]: "...umm...I-I'm Egashira.........so...?" A feeble little boy walks up to us. His physique is so lean he clearly doesn't exercise much. [Kotarou]: (This guy?) Considering how he writes, I was expecting a hardcore gangster or something. [Kotarou]: "You're Egashira?" [Egashira]: "Y-yes..." He shivers with fear. Is this seriously the guy who posted all that? I still can't convince myself. [Yoshino]: "...hey, Tennouji." [Kotarou]: "Hm?" [Yoshino]: "What are you doing...?" [Kotarou]: "Like I said, a battle." [Kotarou]: "I plan on ending it today." [Yoshino]: "I know..." [Yoshino]: "But why are we talking to this first-year? What does he have to do with the battle?" [Kotarou]: "...well..." Of course, I only brought Yoshino here so we'd be more intimidating. Fight fire with fire, and tough guys with tough guys. I'd been planning on having Yoshino square off against the internet bully. It would've been perfect. [Kotarou]: "This first-year was supposed to crush you." [Yoshino]: "Huh?" Yoshino glares at him. [Egashira]: "Hiiiii!" [Yoshino]: "This kid?" [Egashira]: "Wh-wh-what are you talking about...?" [Kotarou]: "And I acted as the mediator." Yoshino looks deep into the first-year's eyes. [Yoshino]: "...no." [Kotarou]: "Huh?" [Yoshino]: "This guy wouldn't pick a fight with anyone. I can tell." [Yoshino]: "I can recognize a wolf starving for blood. But this guy...he's the type who should keep living in a peaceful world." [Kotarou]: "Oooooh..." [Yoshino]: "Explain yourself, Tennouji." [Yoshino]: "If I don't like what I hear...I might pulverize you." [Kotarou]: "Umm, well..." Dammit, I'm out of ideas! [Kotarou]: "It was all a lie." [Kotarou]: "Gufuu...!" Yoshino's mach fist pounds into my gut. [Yoshino]: "...don't drag innocent people into your tricks." [Kotarou]: "H-he's not innocent..." [Yoshino]: "He's got nothing to do with me." [Kotarou]: "Wait, listen..." Yoshino × Kotarou ＝ Deep Friendship Kotarou × Egashira ＝ Score to Settle ↓↓↓ Not Complete Strangers ＝ Yoshino × Egashira [Kotarou]: "...and that's why you're here. You understand?" [Yoshino]: "The hell are those equations supposed to mean!?"

<METADATA> Name: Haruhiko Yoshino | Gender: Male Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "...gofu.........nice mach." [Egashira]: "Hiiiiiii! Hiiiiiiii!" The first-year trembles in terror after seeing his seniors commit violent acts. [Yoshino]: "Hey, first-year!" [Egashira]: "Y-yeeeees!?" [Yoshino]: "Do you hate me?" [Egashira]: "N-noooooooo!" [Yoshino]: "Didn't think so." [Yoshino]: "...dammit, you wasted my time again." He kicks me while I'm down and leaves angrily. [Egashira]: "Hawawawa!" [Kotarou]: "Huu...that guy is totally crazy." I get up as if nothing happened. [Kotarou]: "They don't call him Wolf the Mad Dog for nothing..." [Egashira]: "W-wolf...?" [Kotarou]: "Yeah, that's his street name." [Kotarou]: "He wields the ultimate unevadable boxing technique, the Supersonic Mach Fist, during which his knuckles achieve the speed of light." [Egashira]: "W-wouldn't that be Lightspeed Fist...?" [Kotarou]: "Huh? Did you say something?" [Egashira]: "N-no..." [Kotarou]: "That's just how he greets people. If he was serious he could blow the whole hallway apart with the Doppler effect." [Kotarou]: "I don't wanna start seeing red shifts at my age..." [Egashira]: "Is that really how the Doppler effect works?" [Kotarou]: "Did you say something?" [Egashira]: "...sorry." [Kotarou]: "Still, that last punch had triple the force of any heavyweight boxer's." [Egashira]: "It didn't look that powerful..." [Kotarou]: "It is. That's how he greets everyone." [Kotarou]: "But since I'm one of his friends I take no damage from it." [Egashira]: "Haa..." [Egashira]: "Umm...so what do you want with me...?" [Kotarou]: "Too quiet. I can't hear you." [Egashira]: "U-umm! What do you...want...!?" [Kotarou]: "Isn't it obvious?" I observe the first-year closely. My plans are ruined but he's still scared. This should work out fine. [Kotarou]: "I'm a little bug." [Egashira]: ".........eh?" [Kotarou]: "You know, little bug. You're the one who called me that, remember?" I watch his eyes slowly fill with understanding. [Egashira]: "Y-you're...the Occult Club...!" [Kotarou]: "That's right, I'm the Mission Chief." I move in closer to intimidate him. [Egashira]: "Hiiiiiiiiiii!" [Kotarou]: "You did a hell of a job working me up." [Egashira]: "H-how, it's all supposed to be anonymous...!?" [Kotarou]: "Don't underestimate my boss' black magic." [Kotarou]: "We saw through everything!" [Egashira]: "I-it can't be..." [Kotarou]: "What's wrong? Aren't you stronger than me? Prove it." [Egashira]: "No, not really, that's just, what do you call it...a rite of passage." [Egashira]: "It's like an initiation to internet society, so..." [Kotarou]: "Stop talking nonsense!" [Egashira]: "S-sorry!" [Kotarou]: "Okay, Egashira, let's battle." [Kotarou]: "Then we'll be odd..." [Egashira]: "O-odd?" [Kotarou]: "It's the same as being even, dammit!" [Egashira]: "Hiii! How should I know!?" Yoshino's speech is infecting me. [Egashira]: "I-I can't...fight..." [Egashira]: "Please don't hit me! I'll never do it again!" [Kotarou]: "Goood, that's more like it..." [Kotarou]: "I don't want to make a mess of things if I can avoid it." [Kotarou]: "But you do need to take responsibility for crapping all over my blog." [Egashira]: "Eh? But there's no way that can stay up after..." [Kotarou]: "Apologize and it'll be fine!" [Egashira]: "Uhi! ...b-but...I don't think...that'll stop it..." [Kotarou]: "Why wouldn't it?" [Egashira]: "Arguments on the internet have a life of their own...they need to run their course..." [Egashira]: "And I've been anonymous this whole time, so even if I apologized they'd just think I was someone else..." [Kotarou]: "Eh? They would?" I don't know much about blog culture. [Egashira]: "If I start acting completely different, there's no way to convince anyone I'm the same guy..." [Kotarou]: "Uu..." [Kotarou]: "Then my blog's kinda screwed. What do we do?" [Egashira]: "After you said that...Senpai...it was too late..." [Kotarou]: "So it's both our faults..." [Egashira]: "Yes...so you'll have to disband the club." I can't do that. Dammit, what do I do? [Kotarou]: "...I have an idea." [Kotarou]: "Egashira, be a correspondent for us." [Egashira]: "Eeeh? What do you mean?" [Egashira]: "I'm already part of the Bodybuilder Appreciation Club..." [Kotarou]: "That's a real club?" [Kotarou]: "But you have no muscles at all." [Egashira]: "Exactly......we have fun looking at bodybuilders..." [Kotarou]: "You don't work out yourselves?" [Egashira]: "I don't like pain." The world is full of weird people. [Kotarou]: "Anyway, I'm not asking you to join our club." [Kotarou]: "Being a correspondent doesn't have to be a full-time position. Just make a first post." [Egashira]: "First post of what?" [Kotarou]: "A correspondent is just a guy on the outside who sends us any information he runs across. So just give us one lead for now." [Kotarou]: "Then leave a comment on our site saying you're sorry about what happened but we're working together now." [Kotarou]: "We'll do all the actual investigation. So it won't take much of your time, but you'll still be helping us." [Egashira]: "Ah, so you want to make it look like we made up after having a fight?" [Kotarou]: "Yes. Just give us one lead." [Egashira]: "...if that's enough for you to forgive me..." [Kotarou]: "It is." [Kotarou]: "So, got anything?" [Egashira]: "...actually, I do." You obtained Info: "Tsuchinoko Sighting on Campus!?"! [Kotarou]: "Good boy..." [Kotarou]: "Now for the comment. Come with me."

<METADATA> Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female </METADATA> I drag Egashira to the club room and make him write a reconciliatory comment. "I am the first-year who caused trouble here recently." "My heart is now wrought with regret and self-loathing, and can no longer gain a moment of calm." "That is all because of the mistake my foolish soul made within the electronic sanctuary of knowledge managed by the Occult Research Club members." "Yes...I was a fool. My narrow perspective weakened my logos, robbing it even of the ability to distinguish elegant concepts from mere vulgarity..." "My countless offensive statements were none other than a sin, an act of verbal barbarism brought about by my lack of wisdom!" "Ever since the world was shown to be a sphere, the metaphysical "end of the world" has been denied by science." "If we do not reject something's eradication, we will lose it and never be able to return, as long as we keep moving forward." "The true mysteries of the world have been debased into circular self-validating delusions. Is it not sad that this is the modern reality we live in?" "But in an age where physics is the bedrock, we must recognize that what this new, materialistic society needs more than anything else is a valiant soul who will go to the ends of the earth to uncover the world's secrets..." "My unforgivable sin now lies open for all to see." "Oooh, my remorse reaches the heavens, and now I offer myself up to the wise men and women of the Occult Research Club, the most rational and informed seekers of the truth..." "Their kind souls have forgiven my soul and blessed me with the position of correspondent!" "So now I give to them my small mystery as part of their fortress of lucid knowledge. Here and now I abandon my wicked ways, and begin a journey to the ancient microcosmos!" "Long live the Occult Research Club! Long live mysticism! Long live idealism! May our lives be filled with the great blessings of both people and gods!" ...that's a very...memorable post. [Kotarou]: "Egashira..." [Egashira]: "Yes, Senpai...?" [Kotarou]: "I don't understand..." [Egashira]: "I'm sorry..." [Kotarou]: "Is this what happens when you write seriously?" [Egashira]: "Yes..." [Kotarou]: "You sound like a completely different person." [Kotarou]: "Are they really gonna buy this...? Oh well, I'll say some stuff under it...you can go now." [Egashira]: "O-okay, goodbye." [Kotori]: "You threatened him." [Kotarou]: "...no, I didn't go that far." [Kotarou]: "He just seems to have some weird issues." [Akane]: "You said he gave you a lead. How do we know if it's any good?" [Kotarou]: "How do we know if any lead is good?" [Kotarou]: "We'll find out when we investigate it." [Kotori]: "So, what now?" [Kotarou]: "Good question..." [Kotarou]: "Since we've got some leads, let's go investigate them." [Kotori]: "Our first investigation." [Kotarou]: "Yeah..." [Kotori]: "Our first research attempt." [Kotarou]: "Let's do this one." [Kotori]: "Tsuchinoko..." [Akane]: "It's just a snake with a full stomach." [Kotarou]: "So boring!" [Akane]: "They're just tricks." [Kotarou]: "You're so forceful about these things..." [Kotarou]: "How can anyone be sure that UMAs don't exist?" [Akane]: "There are unidentified animals, and some of them are mysterious, but a tsuchinoko isn't one of them." [Akane]: "It's just an urban legend." [Kotarou]: "...well, it probably is." [Akane]: "Oh, how honest." Akane chuckles. [Kotarou]: "I've never seen a tsuchinoko myself or anything." [Kotarou]: "But we can't say for sure they don't exist. So I want to investigate it." [Kotori]: "So what exactly do we do?" [Kotarou]: "We use the power of the internet." [Kotarou]: "...actually, on second thought, I should probably avoid the internet for now...let's just go around asking people." [Kotori]: "It is supposed to be on campus." [Akane]: "I have heard reports of tsuchinoko sightings recently." [Kotarou]: "According to what Egashira told us, he's often spotted in the courtyard." [Kotori]: "There might still be people around if we go now." [Kotarou]: "Yeah, let's go ask them." [Akane]: "...take care." [Kotarou]: "Come with us, Prez." [Akane]: "No." [Kotarou]: "Why not?" [Akane]: "It'll be a pain." She has no motivation at all... [Kotori]: "Should we go without her?" [Kotarou]: "Hmmmm..." I always drag Kotori around. Though she's not very assertive, so that's not necessarily a bad thing. But making her spend all her time with just me is a problem. ...we need more club members. [Kotarou]: "Let's all go together, Prez." [Akane]: "No." [Kotarou]: "Don't say that." [Akane]: "I'm saying it." [Kotori]: "100% pure rejection." If only Japan was this assertive in its foreign policy... Let's try another push. If this doesn't work, we'll have to go without her. [Kotarou]: "Let's share our youth together." [Akane]: "Yuck." She could kill with those eyes. [Akane]: "Besides, talking about "youth" like that isn't cool anymore." [Kotarou]: "...I guess it's good to have a boss to fight later." [Akane]: "You're going to walk around school, right? Why do something so tiring when we all know you aren't going to find anything?" [Kotarou]: "It's supposed to be fun..." [Kotarou]: "Fine, rock-paper-scissors. If I win you come with us, and if you win you can stay here." [Akane]: "I reject those conditions." [Kotarou]: "Ga...!" [Kotarou]: "...but Prez, you need some exercise. You'll get fat living like this." [Akane]: "That's not physically possible." [Akane]: ".........it's not." [Kotarou]: "See? Even you're worried about it." [Akane]: "I fight on the battlefield every day. I'm a witch of war." [Kotarou]: "Only in video games." [Akane]: "My mind consumes 500 kilocalories per match." [Kotarou]: "Your mind, huh..." I'd be amazed if she consumed more than five. [Kotarou]: "Are you one of those people who never leaves the house?" [Akane]: "Aaah, you are so bothersome." [Akane]: "All right, I will join you." [Kotarou]: "Yay." [Akane]: "But I'll only watch. I won't do any questioning." [Kotarou]: "If you insist..." [Akane]: "Let's meet in the courtyard in fifteen minutes."

<METADATA> Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male </METADATA> Now Akane will be joining us. [Kotarou]: "Okaaaaaaaaay! Let's give uuuuuuup!! Yaaaaa!" [Kotori]: "...so actively passive." I'll be sad about this if I don't force myself to be enthusiastic. [Akane]: "Huhuhu, do whatever you like, so long as it doesn't bother me." Kotori and I will be undertaking this quest alone. Fifteen minutes later, we gather in the courtyard. [Kotori]: "Hello!" [Kotarou]: "Hey." Kotori's carrying a paper bag. [Kotarou]: "Is that from the cafeteria?" [Kotori]: "Yeah. Lunch." [Kotarou]: "Oooh, Kotori...you always know what to bring." I try embracing her naturally like a foreigner would. [Kotori]: "Grrrrawl!" She immediately menaces me. I am disappointed. [Kotarou]: "...how much?" [Kotori]: "400 yen with juice, 300 yen without." [Kotarou]: "What kind of juice?" [Kotori]: "Grasshopper." [Kotarou]: "I'll never understand why some people enjoy grasshopper milk..." [Kotori]: "...it's addictive once you're used to it." [Kotarou]: "I'll never get used to it." There are actual grasshoppers in it. Seriously. ...is that legal? [Kotarou]: "No juice then." [Kotori]: "300 bajillion yen please." [Kotarou]: "That's not.........never mind...here's 300 bajillion yen." I hand her three hundred-yen coins. [Kotori]: "Ah!" [Kotarou]: "...eh?" [Kotori]: "I'm supposed to charge a margin too..." She freezes up. [Kotarou]: "I don't really mind if you want it..." [Kotori]: "No, I'm not that greedy." [Kotori]: "It's just...I remembered I could...so it bugged me." [Kotarou]: "Your stage name should be Kanbe Koin." [Kotori]: "That might work..." Oh, Kotori, may you not be stained by the poison of the world... I pray to heaven. [Kotarou]: "Might as well eat around here." [Kotori]: "Yeah, the weather's nice." And thus we obtain our food. Tonkatsu sandwiches never stop being good. [Kotarou]: "So good...it's crammed full of meat!" [Kotori]: "Juicyyy!" We're both low-maintenance people, so commoner food is more than enough for us. We devour it. [Kotori]: "The cafeteria was really empty today, like it was on Saturday." [Kotarou]: "That is for the best." As we talk, Akane staggers up to us. [Kotarou]: "Hey Prez." [Kotori]: "Glad you could come." [Akane]: "...it's so bright." [Akane]: "I'm going to melt out here." [Kotarou]: "That's just the sun." [Akane]: "Curse you, Sun..." [Akane]: "My skin is tingling." [Kotarou]: "Why?" [Akane]: "I think sunlight is bad for my health." [Kotarou]: "Have you been indoors so long you turned into a vampire?" [Kotarou]: "You should get out in the sunlight more often. You'll have more positive feelings." It's a scientific fact, like the existence of negative ions. Mom said that all the time when she tried to get me and Dad out of the house on weekends. [Akane]: "I want to watch late-night TV." [Kotarou]: "The more I talk to you the less mystical you become." [Kotori]: "You wanna eat something?" [Akane]: "I'm fine." [Kotarou]: "Stupid Kotori, Prez is too good for our commoner food." [Akane]: "...I just don't eat much for lunch." [Akane]: "I also just woke up...so this will be enough." She opens a can of hot miso. [Kotarou]: "...you're like an old man with a hangover." [Akane]: "Ha!" Her quality as a woman is lowering every day. We enjoy a fun lunch under the warm afternoon sun. [Kotarou]: "Okay, I'm full. Let's get to work." [Kotori]: "Yay." We begin investigating after lunch. [Second-Year Boy]: "A tsuchinoko? I've never seen one." [Second-Year Boy]: "But I think I know a girl who did." [Second-Year Boy]: "She should still be around here somewhere, so try asking her." [Second-Year Girl]: "A tsuchinoko? No, I don't know anything." [Second-Year Girl]: "But someone from my club might know. I think he's here." [Second-Year Boy]: "You're looking for the tsuchinoko? Hya-ha! Amazing!" [Second-Year Boy]: "I've never seen it, but I've heard the rumor." [Second-Year Boy]: "My friend might know about it...he should be nearby." [Second-Year Boy]: "Tsuchinoko? Ah, yeah, there are rumors about that." [Second-Year Boy]: "I've heard it's near here." [Second-Year Boy]: "But I've never seen it...sorry I can't help." [First-Year (Flamboyant) Boy]: "Tsuchinoko? Are you serious? Ke-hah! That's hilarious!" [First-Year (Flamboyant) Boy]: "I'm kinda worried about you now. Aren't you too old for this?" [First-Year (Flamboyant) Boy]: "Or are you guys just the type who love imaginary stuff?" [First-Year (Flamboyant) Boy]: "You must get bullied all the time, ke-ha-hah! So lame." [First-Year (Flamboyant) Boy]: ".........sorry for being rude, I shouldn't have said that.........please don't glare at me..." [Kotarou]: "Good. First-years shouldn't make a fuss in the cafeteria." I didn't hit him. I wrestled (with a gentle voice). [Kotarou]: "Now tell us what you know." [First-Year (Flamboyant) Boy]: "...umm, I don't know if this is useful, but..." [First-Year (Flamboyant) Boy]: "I've heard there's a weird snake hanging out around the trees on campus." [Kotarou]: "Good. First-years shouldn't cut in line either." We obtain useful information. [First-Year Girl]: "No way～" [First-Year Girl]: "Seriously～?" [First-Year Girl]: "Awesome～" [First-Year Girl]: "I don't know a thing though～" [Third-Year Boy]: "I know what you're looking for..." [Third-Year Boy]: "I love this sort of thing." [Kotarou]: "We've been waiting for someone like you..." [Third-Year Boy]: "Just the fact that I saw it drives me mad." [Kotarou]: "You've seen it?" [Third-Year Boy]: "Yeah, and I saw it again this morning..." [Kotarou]: "Where?"

<METADATA> Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School </METADATA> [Third-Year Boy]: "In my house...on the breakfast table!" [Kotarou]: ".........huh?" [Third-Year Boy]: "I ate one this morning..." [Kotarou]: "Ate one? You say you ate one?" [Third-Year Boy]: "Yeah, it was great..." [Third-Year Boy]: "Those hachinoko were..." [Kotarou]: "Thank you for your time." It was just a joke. [Third-Year Girl]: "I know what you're looking for..." [Third-Year Girl]: "I love this sort of thing." [Kotarou]: "We've been waiting for someone like you..." [Third-Year Girl]: "Just the fact that I saw it drives me mad." [Kotarou]: "You've seen it?" [Third-Year Girl]: "Yeah, and I saw it again this morning..." [Kotarou]: "Where?" [Third-Year Girl]: "In my house...on the breakfast table!" [Kotarou]: ".........huh?" [Third-Year Girl]: "I ate one this morning..." [Kotarou]: "Ate one? You say you ate one?" [Third-Year Girl]: "Yeah, it was amazing..." [Third-Year Girl]: "Those tochinomi were..." [Third-Year Girl]: "Ah, tochinomi are the fruit of the tochinoki tree...you can look it up online." [Kotarou]: "Only two of the syllables match..." [Kotarou]: "And why go out of your way to explain it?" [Kotarou]: "We got some useful info." [Kotori]: "Such fortune! Such luck!" [Kotarou]: "Let's go back to the club room and get ready." [Kotori]: "Ready for what?" [Kotarou]: "Taking photos. Do you have any room left on your memory card?" [Kotori]: "...not sure." [Kotarou]: "Exactly." [Akane]: "You're right...we should head back..." Prez is almost turning gray. [Kotarou]: "Okay, is there a camera here..." [Akane]: "What are you digging for?" [Kotarou]: "I'm looking for any cameras the old club might have had." [Akane]: "...there's a camera on that shelf." [Kotarou]: "Oh, you're right." [Kotori]: "What about memory cards?" [Akane]: "There's one in it." [Kotori]: "Can I use it?" [Akane]: "Go ahead..." The shelf in question is chocked full of futuristic technology. [Kotarou]: "Cyberkids would love this..." Should an Occult Club really have this stuff? [Kotori]: "You can take a thousand pictures!" [Kotarou]: "Yeah! And it has digital zoom plus facial recognition. Nothing can escape my lens!" [Kotori]: "Yaaa!" [Kotori]: "Off we go then..." But before we leave... [Voice]: "Hello～" [Kotarou]: "Hm?" Someone comes in. [Ohtori]: "Geh." It's Ohtori. [Kotarou]: "Rude as ever, I see." [Akane]: "That could become a fad...saying "geh" the moment you see someone..." [Kotarou]: "Geh, Prez!" [Akane]: "Nice and short." [Ohtori]: "I don't really get what you're talking about..." [Ohtori]: "But anyway, what's Kotarou doing here!?" [Akane]: "I have a question for you instead. What have you been doing all this time?" [Ohtori]: "U-umm...that's just～" [Kotarou]: "She probably kept getting lost and never made it here." [Ohtori]: "Uu..." [Akane]: "Oh well, I never said you had to come every day." [Ohtori]: "But everywhere in this school looks the same. I can't tell where anything is..." [Ohtori]: "And some strangers kept pestering me to help them sew, so I always end up going that way instead..." [Kotarou]: "...the handicrafts club?" They must've dragged her all the way to the club after inviting her. [Akane]: "Don't they also operate out of an abandoned classroom? Though they're not a research club." [Ohtori]: "I tried to refuse them...but it took me this long to escape..." [Kotori]: "That sounds bad..." [Kotarou]: "You really do get lost easily..." [Akane]: "Someday you'll stumble onto a ship heading for Siberia and freeze to death." [Ohtori]: "Akane-san, that's mean..." [Akane]: "And you can join the Handicrafts Appreciation Club too if you want." [Ohtori]: "I'm sick of needles..." [Kotori]: "Wait, Chi-chan, you're in this club too?" [Ohtori]: "Yes, ummm, I think so." [Kotarou]: "Oh yeah, you did say you knew someone here." I guess she meant Akane. [Kotarou]: "Oh yeah, you did say something about that." I remember her saying something about the Occult Club or whatever a while ago. [Kotarou]: "Okay, let's do a four man investigation!" [Kotori]: "Go!" [Ohtori]: "Wh-what? What's going on!?" [Akane]: "Since you're here, you might as well join them." [Ohtori]: "Eeeh? But..." [Akane]: "And you'd like her help, wouldn't you?" [Kotarou]: "She seems useful, and you can keep her in line, right Prez?" [Akane]: "Yes." [Ohtori]: "I still don't get it, but if you say so, Akane-san..." Ohtori joined your party! [Akane]: "Have fun then." [Kotarou]: "You're not coming!?" [Ohtori]: "You won't come with us!!?" [Kotori]: "Whoa, perfect timing!" [Kotarou]: "So, this is the rumored place..." I'll quickly photograph the area. I might need these for the article later. [Kotarou]: "It's good to have lots of pictures, so take shots of whatever you want." [Ohtori]: "I don't have a phone on me..." [Kotarou]: "Eh? You don't carry one?" [Ohtori]: "I left my bookbag in the club room～" [Kotarou]: "You careless little..." Though I already know she's like that. [Kotarou]: "Oh well...just go pick up some of the trash over there." [Ohtori]: "Understood!" [Ohtori]: "...does that have anything to do with the club?" [Kotarou]: "Not really." [Ohtori]: "I came all the way out here to help you, so don't make me do meaningless things!" [Kotori]: "Let's just look around for now." We split up and start taking random pictures all around the trees. [Kotori]: "I'm not seeing any tsuchinoko." [Kotarou]: "Well it's not gonna come out that easily." [Kotarou]: "We'll have to set up a trap or lure it out." [Ohtori]: "What's a tsuchinoko?"

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School </METADATA> [Kotori]: "I don't know what the official stats are." [Kotarou]: "I'm pretty sure there aren't official stats..." [Akane]: "From what I know..." [Akane]: "Tsuchinoko have a long history as UMA." [Kotarou]: "Oh?" [Akane]: "They're like snakes, but with swollen stomachs...there've been sightings of them going back for ages..." [Akane]: "There's even a drawing of what looks like a tsuchinoko on a piece of jōmon pottery unearthed in Nagano prefecture." [Kotori]: "Wa, so old." [Kotarou]: "Jōmon pottery? That's pretty ancient..." [Kotarou]: "Now I'm wondering if tsuchinoko used to be real creatures that people worshipped..." [Akane]: "There's a theory that nozuchi are actually tsuchinoko." [Akane]: "Though going into the mythical background would drag this out a while..." [Kotori]: "Nozuchi?" [Ohtori]: "Noguchi?" [Kotarou]: "It's a kind of youkai." I ignore Ohtori. [Akane]: "It's depicted as a huge beast with no eyes or nose. It's said to hide in open fields and eat small animals." [Kotarou]: "Tsuchinoko look like snakes, and snakes swallow their prey whole..." [Kotarou]: "I see, that makes a lot of sense." [Akane]: "But nozuchi are supposed to be gods." [Kotarou]: "Eh?" [Ohtori]: "Noguchi-san is God?" [Akane]: "There's a part of the Kojiki about a goddess called Kaya no Hime no Kami, and it refers to them as Nozuchi no Kami." Prez also ignores Ohtori. [Kotarou]: "I've heard of the Kojiki, but those names are new to me." [Akane]: "She's an ancient goddess, daughter of Izanagi and Izanami." [Akane]: "The "Kaya" in her name refers to plants, so she's seen as a goddess of the earth." [Kotori]: "So the goddess turned into a youkai?" [Akane]: "Myths have a habit of changing." [Akane]: "Beings which were once gods may become evil spirits after merging with some other religion, or people might just lose respect for that deity." [Akane]: "On the other hand, if there actually was a fat snake-like monster back then, they could very well have elevated it to godly status over time." [Akane]: "Some think that jōmon pot suggests it was an object of worship." [Kotori]: "Wow..." [Kotori]: "That's kinda neat." [Ohtori]: "Does it taste good?" [Kotori]: "You wanna eat it!?" The nice, caring Kotori does not ignore her. [Akane]: "As Buddhism spread, the Japanese gods were absorbed by that religion...so Nozuchi no Kami was thrown out into the fields and made a youkai..." [Akane]: "That's just a theory though. I don't believe any of this stuff, so as far as I'm concerned tsuchinoko are just a legend fabricated from the mythical Nozuchi." [Kotarou]: "So it's not based on a real creature? But haven't people seen it?" [Akane]: "Whether or not tsuchinoko can be traced back to the Kojiki, it's definitely true that fat snakes have been reported several times throughout history." [Akane]: "To use words you like, Tennouji, it might be Japan's oldest UMA." [Kotarou]: "Japan's oldest UMA...that sounds awesome..." [Akane]: "Oh yeah, there's Emperor Jinmu too." [Kotarou]: "No, no, no, no!" We're counting that as a UMA now? [Akane]: "A scholar named Minakata Kumagusu proposed that it might be a kind of pit viper called a mamushi, but even that's thinking too hard in my opinion." [Akane]: "Tsuchinoko are just fat snakes." [Kotarou]: "That's the most boring theory..." [Kotarou]: "It's an unidentified creature resembling a snake." [Kotarou]: "Its torso is swollen so we can recognize it easily." [Kotarou]: "It's one of the most famous UMAs in the country." [Kotarou]: "I've heard it can jump a long way too." [Kotori]: "Is it dangerous?" [Kotarou]: "I'm not sure...well, it shouldn't be that huge, so if this was a video game it'd be in the low-level content." [Kotori]: "I don't understand..." [Ohtori]: "Can we eat it?" Why would you want to? [Kotarou]: "You might be able to." I semi-ignore her in the most adult way possible. [Kotori]: "But if it's poisonous the size won't matter." [Kotarou]: "I doubt it's poisonous. I hope. Damn, I'm not sure..." There's no way to know that for sure. [Kotori]: "We hardly ever see any snakes in Kazamatsuri, so why would it be on campus?" [Kotarou]: "Maybe these trees are a perfect hiding place for the tsuchinoko." [Ohtori]: "I'm a bit lost, but can't we just look around for something that looks kinda like a snake?" [Kotarou]: "Hmm...you're probably right. Let's keep this nice and simple." So, we begin the hunt. [Kotarou]: "We probably won't find it very soon, but good luck." [Kotori]: "Yeah." [Kotarou]: "There's even a reward for finding one of these things." [Kotarou]: "This might be our biggest job all year..." [Kotori]: "Ah, I found it." [Kotarou]: "Whaaaaaaaaat!?" Kotori points to a thicket between the trees. There's a tsuchinoko there. [Ohtori]: "Waaa! There's a weird thing down there!" [Kotarou]: "Capture it!" [Kotori]: "I-I don't wanna touch a snake..." [Kotarou]: "Then I'll get 'em!" [Kotori]: "I'll take pictures." [Akane]: "...it can't be..." The moment I approach it, the tsuchinoko leaps. So high...almost two meters in the air. I leap forward and run after it. [Kotarou]: "Dowa!" I follow it persistently. I try running at full speed. [Kotarou]: "Daaa!" I leap toward the black tsuchinoko and slide along the ground. *slip!* It got away... [Ohtori]: "There!" Ohtori jumps forward and grabs it. [Kotarou]: "Nice catch, Ohtori!" I get up and run over to today's MVP. [Kotarou]: "Well done! You've got some amazing reflexes! No wonder your brain got the short end of the stick! Your cerebellum must be over half of your brain matter!" I praise her in my euphoric state of mind. [Ohtori]: "I'm pretty sure you're mocking me."

<METADATA> Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School </METADATA> I touch the tsuchinoko. [Kotarou]: "So this is a tsuchinoko...it feels just like a rubber toy!" [Kotarou]: "Wow, so tsuchinoko have string growing out of their head..." [Ohtori]: "Something's pulling on me..." [Kotarou]: "What?" [Ohtori]: "Should I pull back?" [Kotarou]: "Umm...if that's one of his organs we might hurt him." [Kotarou]: "I guess if you're gentle..." [Ohtori]: "Okaaay." Wait. Is she capable of doing anything "gently"? [Ohtori]: "One, two!" *snap!* [Ohtori]: "Kyaaaa! Some kind of slimy icky liquid came out!" [Kotarou]: "Wow! That looks like stomach acid!!" [Kotarou]: "Your whole body's gonna melt now!" [Ohtori]: "K-Kelley...I'm sorry..." [Kelley]: "Kathleeeeeeeen!!!!" This is about to turn into an American B-movie! We can't let that happen! [Kotarou]: "Wait...!" [Ohtori]: "Hmph!" I'm too late! But why did it scream "Kathleen" anyway...? [Kotarou]: "Hm?" A woman holding a fishing rod gets dragged out of the bushes. [Tsuchinoko Woman]: "Nnn...you're really strong..." A young, serious-looking woman in a pant suit stands up and brushes off the grass. She adjusts her glasses. [Tsuchinoko Woman]: "...good afternoon." She bows. [Kotarou]: "Ah, hello." I lower my head too. [Kotori]: "You caught it? ...huh?" Kotori arrives and sees everything. And then! She is silent. [Akane]: "Did you catch it? ...oh." Akane arrives and sees everything. And then! She is silent. Everyone's at a loss for words now. I've almost forgotten how to speak Japanese myself. [Kotarou]: "Umm...you don't work at the school, do you?" [Tsuchinoko Woman]: "No, I'm not employed here..." [Tsuchinoko Woman]: "Would you believe me if I said there's a good reason for this?" That's kind of obvious. No one would do this without one. [Kotarou]: "Umm..." [Kotarou]: "We're looking for a tsuchinoko." [Tsuchinoko Woman]: "So am I. Why?" A heavy silence falls. [Kotarou]: "So...you're fishing for them?" [Tsuchinoko Woman]: "Yes. I heard about some tsuchinoko being around here, so I snuck in and started looking." [Tsuchinoko Woman]: "This rubber toy is a lure to catch other tsuchinoko." [Tsuchinoko Woman]: "Something I researched and developed myself." [Kotarou]: "You're that bored?" [Tsuchinoko Woman]: "It's supposed to resemble a female tsuchinoko, so it should be enough to catch a male one. I will get the prize money for catching one." [Ohtori]: "This is a toy? It's pretty well-made..." The mystery has been explained. [Kotarou]: "Umm, if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?" [Tsuchinoko Woman]: "I'm twenty-four." [Kotarou]: "Ah, I see...so at that age...you're trying to catch tsuchinoko..." I have a bad feeling about Japan's future. [Kotarou]: "By the way, what would you use the prize money for?" [Tsuchinoko Woman]: "Isn't it obvious?" The woman pushes her glasses up slightly. [Tsuchinoko Woman]: "Luxury cruises, brand-name handbags, designer clothing and watches, and some new boots coming out this winter." [Kotarou]: "Thank you very much." My urge to reason with her is long gone. I shouldn't open Pandora's box any further. [Kotori]: "...what do we do, Kotarou-kun? It was a total dud..." Kotori whispers. A dud... As a reporter, this is the worst possible outcome. Because all of the time and effort we've spent on it has been wasted. [Kotarou]: "Well, news about this sort of thing always ends with them failing to catch it, so..." I'll just have to gloss over this in the editing process. [Kotarou]: "Sorry, but would you mind if we referred to you as a "UMA Hunter"?" [Tsuchinoko Woman]: "That would be an accurate description." [Tsuchinoko Woman]: "You may call me UMA Hunter Tsukuno." [Kotarou]: "Tsukuno-san..." [Kotarou]: "We're in the Occult Research Club at this school." [Kotarou]: "We'd like to write a blog entry about this, so could we take a picture of you?" [Tsukuno]: "A picture? ...I would prefer it if no one knew about this." [Tsukuno]: "I'll have to refuse. It might cause trouble at work." [Kotarou]: "I'll make sure you look pretty." [Tsukuno]: "...all right. Your passion has melted my heart." That was easy. Your heart must be like ice cream. [Kotarou]: "You don't have to give in that easily, but...oh well...thank you." [Tsukuno]: "You're welcome." [Kotarou]: "Then let's get this out of the way. Hold up your rod...yes, like that." [Kotarou]: "That's good. Okay, what do mice eat?" [Tsukuno]: "Cheese." We end up with a slightly odd picture. [Kotarou]: "Umm, Tsukuno-san..." [Tsukuno]: "What is it?" [Kotarou]: "You don't have to make a sexy pose..." [Kotarou]: "You normally have this perfect poker face on, so this just looks unnatural...please try to look normal this time." [Tsukuno]: "I see. I apologize for that." We get a number of decent pictures. [Kotarou]: "Thank you for your help." [Tsukuno]: "I have to go to work now, so I'll see you all later." [Kotarou]: "Ah, no problem. Good luck getting past all the teachers." [Tsukuno]: "I will be careful. Goodbye." She lowers her head and trots away. She has a perfect womanly posture and attitude, so it's kind of a shame to see how many of her screws are loose. [Kotarou]: "That was scary...she's gonna get locked up someday..." [Kotori]: "Go, team." [Akane]: "Good work." [Ohtori]: "Was that what we came for?" [Kotarou]: "Well, kinda..." It was a disappointing ending, but I'll just have to find a way to make it exciting later. I hope I can figure something out... [Kotarou]: "Huh?" I look at the article I wrote and tilt my head. [Akane]: "What?" [Kotarou]: "Tsukuno's eyes have a black bar over them for some reason." [Akane]: "That's the filter setting. It automatically hides people's faces."

<METADATA> Name: Kanbe Kotori | Gender: Female Name: Senri Akane | Gender: Female | Aliases: Prez, The Witch of the School Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi </METADATA> [Kotarou]: "Ah, I see." [Ohtori]: "Too bad, she looked pretty good." [Akane]: "Hogwash. The blog readers might go crazy again if we post someone's face publicly." [Ohtori]: "Hogwash...?" [Ohtori]: "But I thought she might like it." [Akane]: "Hogwash. If you're fine with risking another fiasco like that, feel free to do it on your own blog." [Ohtori]: "You said it twice..." [Kotarou]: "But still..." [Akane]: "It's an unwritten rule that when a student wins a prize or a club wins a contest, it's fine to post their faces." [Kotarou]: "The net's full of unwritten rules..." [Akane]: "Of course it is. You're such a noob at this." [Kotarou]: "...mmm." Oh well, I finished my article without incident. [Kotori]: "Time for a break." [Kotori]: "Salt tea, salt tea..." Kotori brings us multiple teacups while chanting something ominous. I get ready to flee on a moment's notice.

<METADATA> Name: Tennouji Kotarou | Gender: Male Name: Ohtori | Gender: Female | Aliases: Ohtori Chihaya, Chi </METADATA> October 15th (Friday) A normal morning. I stretch and get out of bed. I look at the cell phone on my pillow. That's right, I got Ohtori's contact info yesterday. Sending casual text messages in the morning is exactly the sort of thing good friends do. I shall send her one immediately. But what do I say? "Casual good morning!" is an option, but that's just no fun. Unfortunately I only just woke up so I can't think of anything clever. [Kotarou]: "I guess "hello" will do..." I type it in. [Kotarou]: "Oops." I pressed multiple buttons by accident. What a pain. I'll just let autocorrect take care of it... Good, it did fix that for me. All right... [Kotarou]: "Ah―!?" Wait a minute, what did I just send her!? I completely spaced out!! I check the message. Text: "Yellow!" It resembles my intention, but it is not identical. [Kotarou]: "Crap!" What will Ohtori think when she sees this text? "Ah, he tried to write "hello" but typoed..." "No wait, there's no way to typo that badly!!" It'd be nice if she figured that out on her own, but unfortunately Ohtori doesn't think of me as the cheerful, funky, witty boy that I am. [Kotarou]: "Uwaaaaaaa not goooood!" I panic, still not fully awake. "I'll just let autocorrect take care of it..." "Good, it did fix that for me." [Kotarou]: "Who in their right mind would trust autocorrect!!?" What was I thinking!? But electromagnetic waves can never be brought back once emitted. I wait nervously until the very last minute before I need to leave, but I get no response. I despair. I walk a dark and gloomy night road. I leave my house in low spirits. [Student]: "Ah, Tennouji-kun, good morning." [Kotarou]: "Hi." Five minutes after leaving, I forgot all about it. [Kotarou]: "Hey, good morning Ohtori." [Ohtori]: "Ah, good morning..." [Kotarou]: "Hm? What?" [Ohtori]: "...what was with that text this morning?" I remember. [Kotarou]: "Oh that...I was half-asleep." [Ohtori]: "Do you like yellow things?" [Kotarou]: "Well, I don't hate them..." [Ohtori]: "I see." [Ohtori]: "I'm still a bit confused, but I like that color." [Kotarou]: "Haa..." We end up talking about our favorite colors. I can't tell which one of us is making things more awkward. [Kotarou]: (...that's seven.) We have a morning assembly in the gym today. [Kotarou]: "...ahu." I manage to stifle a yawn. I can clearly see people on the stage yawning too. Right now the principal is up there giving a speech. His eyes are glinting. [Kotarou]: (Gotta be careful...) I know from past experience that whenever the students' disrespect (in the form of yawning) reaches a certain level, the principal gets a loquaciousness buff and his speech drags on longer. [Kotarou]: (Maybe it's more like entropy than a buff...) Basically, he gets passionate. To the point where his mind becomes chaos incarnate. The principal is always long-winded. But since we're trying to make the most of our youth while we have it, listening to this is just boring. He's talking about the harvest festival. The largest agricultural festival in the country. Pulling it off requires cooperation with the local farmers and several corporations. Apparently 1.8 million people come here over the course of that week. Universities, research organizations and think tanks like to publish their findings during the festival. Some people even display new works of art. At first I wondered why farmers would want to buy paintings, but it turns out they're mostly landscapes. All the arts and sciences are on display. Kazamatsuri is the most advanced green city, so there's interesting stuff going on here all year round, but the best of it always comes out during the harvest festival. The principal tells us it's a serious event. He says us students must be smiling and having fun the entire time. And we must take it as an opportunity to educate ourselves... [Kotarou]: (So much contradiction...) The principal isn't the only one who has to talk. The career advisor, life counselor, and even a city council member is on the schedule too. But the principal is number one. And he's taken up forty-five minutes already. By the time we get to the council member, all the anemic girls here might have fainted. [Kotarou]: (...oooh, that's eight.) [Kotarou]: (So pitiful...) I check on Kotori (standing at the head of the nearest row of girls). She's just spacing out. She looks fine. The principal's speeches always bring down the anemic girls, but eight of them fainting already is a bit much. The principal's getting excited. He reiterates that this is serious business. I honestly have no idea what's bothering him so much. I doubt anyone knows. He says this is unacceptable. We must not take things lightly and cause problems. Something's wrong. Everything's wrong. Without question it is wrong. All is wrong. Wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrong! The speakers glitch. [Kotarou]: (...nine.) This is just stupid. The teachers must be thinking the same thing. One of them is quietly approaching the principal from behind. He says something to him. Probably along the lines of "We need to move on to the other speeches..." The principal glares at him. Then pushes him away. A scuffle ensues. The students perk up a bit (and applaud). [Kotarou]: "Uha! Go get 'em! That's more like it!" I love stuff like this. Several PE teachers climb onto the stage. We watch them restrain him. The principal is outnumbered and hauled away. Shortly thereafter, the career advisor starts talking. [Kotarou]: (It's been a long time since that happened...) [Teacher]: "Umm...well, during the harvest festival, be aware that..." He begins his own speech as if nothing happened. The harvest festival is a special event. No classes will be held during the week of the festival. This part surprises a lot of people. And it's probably what the principal's up in arms about. It is a week off, but it's not a holiday per se. We're required to participate in the festival. It's kinda like a special class. We even have to submit a report about what we did. We can hold temporary jobs during that time, but we're encouraged to do volunteer work or extracurricular activities. I've heard they used to do a culture festival on campus during this, but not anymore. Apparently there were "impure sexual relations" going on or something. [Teacher]: "If you plan on a temporary job or some other extracurricular activity, be sure to apply in advance for permission." Jobs are the most popular of course. We get good money in a short span of time, and we still get to enjoy the festival. We can even meet girls doing that. Which is why problems occur every year, and the teachers spend more and more time talking to us. [Teacher]: "We recommend doing volunteer work, but please think carefully before making a decision." A very roundabout way of saying it. There are rumors that choosing volunteer work over a job affects your permanent record.