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So in the last two days of non-stop trading, I have been able to claim a grand healthy total of 2k! #Marvelous #FUT14

So in the last two days of non-stop trading, I have been able to claim a lowly total of 2k! #Marvelous #FUT14

sarcasm

{'snum': '379244268151242752-3', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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So in the last two days of non-stop trading, I have been able to claim a grand healthy total of 2k! #Marvelous #FUT14

So in the last two days of non-stop trading, I have only made the low total of 2k. That's horrible.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379244268151242752-4', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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I love working the concession stand instead of watching the game!

I hate working the concession stand instead of watching the game.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379049302842032128-1', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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I love working the concession stand instead of watching the game!

I dislike working the concession stand instead of watching the game!

sarcasm

{'snum': '379049302842032128-2', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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I love working the concession stand instead of watching the game!

I hate working the concession stand instead of watching the game!

sarcasm

{'snum': '379049302842032128-3', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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I love working the concession stand instead of watching the game!

I hate working the concession stand instead of watching the game.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379049302842032128-4', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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I love working the concession stand instead of watching the game!

I hate working the concession stand instead of watching the game!

sarcasm

{'snum': '379049302842032128-5', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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.@SharylAttkisson Surely you don't think a govt agency would waste our hard earned tax dollars do you? #hud #irs

It's unsurprising that a govt agency would waste our hard earned tax dollars.

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{'snum': '379071547220434944-1', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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.@SharylAttkisson Surely you don't think a govt agency would waste our hard earned tax dollars do you? #hud #irs

Government agencies like the IRS waste our tax dollars.

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{'snum': '379071547220434944-2', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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.@SharylAttkisson Surely you don't think a govt agency would waste our hard earned tax dollars do you? #hud #irs

The government is well known for wasting our hard-earned tax dollars.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379071547220434944-3', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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.@SharylAttkisson Surely you don't think a govt agency would waste our hard earned tax dollars do you? #hud #irs

.@SharylAttkisson Surely you think a govt agency would waste our hard earned tax dollars don't you?

sarcasm

{'snum': '379071547220434944-4', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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Hate hunting season. The pictures of you and your children holding dead animal carcasses are so flattering.

I hate hunting season and the pictures of you and your children holding dead animal carcasses.

sarcasm

{'snum': '391691005323259904-1', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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Hate hunting season. The pictures of you and your children holding dead animal carcasses are so flattering.

Hate hunting season. The pictures of you and your children holding dead animal carcasses are so disgusting.

sarcasm

{'snum': '391691005323259904-2', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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Hate hunting season. The pictures of you and your children holding dead animal carcasses are so flattering.

I hate hunting season. The pictures of you and your kids holding up animal carcasses are so gross.

sarcasm

{'snum': '391691005323259904-3', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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Hate hunting season. The pictures of you and your children holding dead animal carcasses are so flattering.

Pictures of animals killed while hunting are disgusting.

sarcasm

{'snum': '391691005323259904-4', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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Hate hunting season. The pictures of you and your children holding dead animal carcasses are so flattering.

Hate hunting season. The pictures of you and your children holding dead animal carcasses are not flattering.

sarcasm

{'snum': '391691005323259904-5', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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Its an honor to be under your guidance

You are not very helpful.

sarcasm

{'snum': '403378601921224705-1', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Its an honor to be under your guidance

Its a disgrace to be under your guidance.

sarcasm

{'snum': '403378601921224705-2', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Its an honor to be under your guidance

I wish I wasn't under your guidance.

sarcasm

{'snum': '403378601921224705-3', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Its an honor to be under your guidance

Its not an honor to be under your guidance.

sarcasm

{'snum': '403378601921224705-4', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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my weekend was freaking GREAT ! thanks mother your the best ! #stillpiss

My weekend was terrible. Mother, you are the worst.

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{'snum': '397355278154203136-1', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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my weekend was freaking GREAT ! thanks mother your the best ! #stillpiss

my weekend was freaking AWFUL ! mother your the worst !

sarcasm

{'snum': '397355278154203136-2', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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my weekend was freaking GREAT ! thanks mother your the best ! #stillpiss

I had a really bad weekend because of my mother.

sarcasm

{'snum': '397355278154203136-3', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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my weekend was freaking GREAT ! thanks mother your the best ! #stillpiss

my weekend was freaking WORST ! thanks mother your the best !

sarcasm

{'snum': '397355278154203136-4', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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my weekend was freaking GREAT ! thanks mother your the best ! #stillpiss

my weekend was freaking NOT GREAT ! no thanks mother your not the best ! #stillpiss

sarcasm

{'snum': '397355278154203136-5', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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Scanning recipes for my grandma is the best way to spend your Saturday.

Scanning recipes for my grandma is not a good way to spend a Saturday.

sarcasm

{'snum': '378958308356259840-1', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Scanning recipes for my grandma is the best way to spend your Saturday.

Scanning recipes for my grandma is the worst way to spend my Saturday.

sarcasm

{'snum': '378958308356259840-2', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Scanning recipes for my grandma is the best way to spend your Saturday.

Scanning recipes for my grandma is the worst way to spend your Saturday.

sarcasm

{'snum': '378958308356259840-3', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Scanning recipes for my grandma is the best way to spend your Saturday.

Scanning recipes for my grandma is the worst bay to spend your Saturday.

sarcasm

{'snum': '378958308356259840-4', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Scanning recipes for my grandma is the best way to spend your Saturday.

I don't want to spend my Saturday scanning recipes for my grandma

sarcasm

{'snum': '378958308356259840-5', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Wow for an adult your so mature. I bet all adults act like you do. #Stepmomprobs

For an adult you are not very mature. Most adults don't act like you do.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379075215243747329-1', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Wow for an adult your so mature. I bet all adults act like you do. #Stepmomprobs

You're not very mature for an adult. I don't think all adults act like you do.

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{'snum': '379075215243747329-2', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Wow for an adult your so mature. I bet all adults act like you do. #Stepmomprobs

You're so immature. Other adults are a lot more mature.

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{'snum': '379075215243747329-3', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Wow for an adult your so mature. I bet all adults act like you do. #Stepmomprobs

You are very immature for an adult. No adult would act like you.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379075215243747329-4', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Wow for an adult your so mature. I bet all adults act like you do. #Stepmomprobs

Wow for an adult your immature. I bet all adults don't act like you do. #Stepmomprobs

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{'snum': '379075215243747329-5', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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ToUser I love Walmart. I feel like I fit in there. #hilarious

I hate Walmart. I don't feel like I fit in there.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379042530425196544-1', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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ToUser I love Walmart. I feel like I fit in there. #hilarious

I hate Walmart. I feel like I don't fit in there.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379042530425196544-2', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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ToUser I love Walmart. I feel like I fit in there. #hilarious

I hate Walmart. I stick out there.

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{'snum': '379042530425196544-3', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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ToUser I love Walmart. I feel like I fit in there. #hilarious

@User I hate Walmart. I do not fit in there. #hilarious

sarcasm

{'snum': '379042530425196544-4', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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I'm so glad we have the fox announcers today to explain how important this game is. I had no idea. #stopit #rangers

The fox announcers are stating the obvious when they say how important this game is.

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{'snum': '378953863035764736-1', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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I'm so glad we have the fox announcers today to explain how important this game is. I had no idea. #stopit #rangers

I'm so annoyed that we have the fox announcers today to explain how important this game is. Especially because we've heard it a hundred times before already.

sarcasm

{'snum': '378953863035764736-2', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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I'm so glad we have the fox announcers today to explain how important this game is. I had no idea. #stopit #rangers

Why are the fox announcers today explaining how important this game is? We know. #stopit #rangers

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{'snum': '378953863035764736-3', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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I'm so glad we have the fox announcers today to explain how important this game is. I had no idea. #stopit #rangers

I wish we didn't have the fox announcers explaining how important this game is. I already know that.

sarcasm

{'snum': '378953863035764736-4', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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I'm so glad we have the fox announcers today to explain how important this game is. I had no idea. #stopit #rangers

I don't need the fox announcers today to explain how important this game is. I already have an idea. #stopit #rangers

sarcasm

{'snum': '378953863035764736-5', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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ToUser How dare you be realistic when it comes to your favorite football team!

It is reasonable of you to realistic when it comes to your favorite football team.

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{'snum': '378997122504216576-1', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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ToUser How dare you be realistic when it comes to your favorite football team!

People are always biased in favor of their favorite football team.

sarcasm

{'snum': '378997122504216576-2', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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ToUser How dare you be realistic when it comes to your favorite football team!

I wish I could be realistic when it comes to my favorite football team!

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{'snum': '378997122504216576-3', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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ToUser How dare you be realistic when it comes to your favorite football team!

@User I like that you are realistic when it comes to your favorite football team!

sarcasm

{'snum': '378997122504216576-4', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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ToUser How dare you be realistic when it comes to your favorite football team!

It's good to be realistic when it comes to your favorite football team.

sarcasm

{'snum': '378997122504216576-5', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Wanna know what I love doing 8 hours after a pt test? ..... More pt... Time to start another glorious day...

Wanna know what I hate doing 8 hours after a pt test? ..... More pt... Time to start another bad day...

sarcasm

{'snum': '379206984886530050-1', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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Wanna know what I love doing 8 hours after a pt test? ..... More pt... Time to start another glorious day...

Wanna know what I hate doing 8 hours after a pt test? ..... More pt... Time to start another horrible day...

sarcasm

{'snum': '379206984886530050-2', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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Wanna know what I love doing 8 hours after a pt test? ..... More pt... Time to start another glorious day...

I hate doing more physical therapy especially after completing more physical therapy.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379206984886530050-3', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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Wanna know what I love doing 8 hours after a pt test? ..... More pt... Time to start another glorious day...

I'm doing more pt only 8 hours after my pt test. Time to start another terrible day.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379206984886530050-4', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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Wanna know what I love doing 8 hours after a pt test? ..... More pt... Time to start another glorious day...

Wanna know what I hate doing after a pt test?...More pt...Time to start another tough day

sarcasm

{'snum': '379206984886530050-5', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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I officially have to buy my own groceries #sweet

I am not excited that I officially have to buy my own groceries.

sarcasm

{'snum': '383761135884709888-1', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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I officially have to buy my own groceries #sweet

I officially have to buy my own groceries. Yuck

sarcasm

{'snum': '383761135884709888-2', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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I officially have to buy my own groceries #sweet

I don't like having to buy my own groceries.

sarcasm

{'snum': '383761135884709888-3', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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I officially have to buy my own groceries #sweet

I officially have to buy my own groceries. This is awful.

sarcasm

{'snum': '383761135884709888-4', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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I officially have to buy my own groceries #sweet

I officially have to buy my own groceries #notsweet

sarcasm

{'snum': '383761135884709888-5', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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So I'm stuck at home studying while my people go to the movies. *** clap clap ** "yay me."

So I'm stuck at home studying while my people go to the movies. I am disappointed.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379029482008350720-1', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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So I'm stuck at home studying while my people go to the movies. *** clap clap ** "yay me."

I'm upset to be stuck at home studying while my people go to the movies.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379029482008350720-2', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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So I'm stuck at home studying while my people go to the movies. *** clap clap ** "yay me."

Stuck at home studying and missing out on movies with friends. ***Boring*** "poor me".

sarcasm

{'snum': '379029482008350720-3', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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So I'm stuck at home studying while my people go to the movies. *** clap clap ** "yay me."

I'm stuck at home studying while my people go to the movies. I feel sorry for myself.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379029482008350720-4', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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So I'm stuck at home studying while my people go to the movies. *** clap clap ** "yay me."

So I'm stuck at home studying while my people go to the movies. *** clap clap ** "not happy."

sarcasm

{'snum': '379029482008350720-5', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Knocking my ankle in bed is always comfortable. #brokenagain

Knocking my ankle in bed is always uncomfortable.

sarcasm

{'snum': '409138190990450689-1', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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Knocking my ankle in bed is always comfortable. #brokenagain

Knocking my ankle in bed is always uncomfortable. #brokenagain

sarcasm

{'snum': '409138190990450689-2', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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Knocking my ankle in bed is always comfortable. #brokenagain

Knocking my ankle in bed always hurts.

sarcasm

{'snum': '409138190990450689-3', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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Knocking my ankle in bed is always comfortable. #brokenagain

I broke my ankle knocking it painfully on the bed.

sarcasm

{'snum': '409138190990450689-4', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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Knocking my ankle in bed is always comfortable. #brokenagain

Knocking my ankle in bed is always uncomfortable. #brokenagain

sarcasm

{'snum': '409138190990450689-5', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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Is there a Red Sox game going on?

There is obviously a Red Sox game going on.

sarcasm

{'snum': '3.89593E+17-1', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Is there a Red Sox game going on?

There is a bad Red Sox game going on

sarcasm

{'snum': '3.89593E+17-2', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Is there a Red Sox game going on?

I can tell there's a Red Sox game going on.

sarcasm

{'snum': '3.89593E+17-3', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Is there a Red Sox game going on?

This is not much of a Red Sox game is it?

sarcasm

{'snum': '3.89593E+17-4', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Oh you're a dancer? Please show me your twerking and shuffling moves....

I'd rather not see the twerking and shuffling moves of people who think they're dancers.

sarcasm

{'snum': '390355706462756864-1', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Oh you're a dancer? Please show me your twerking and shuffling moves....

Oh you think you're a dancer? I really don't want to see your twerking and shuffling moves...

sarcasm

{'snum': '390355706462756864-2', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Oh you're a dancer? Please show me your twerking and shuffling moves....

You're not a dancer. Please do not show me your twerking and shuffling moves....

sarcasm

{'snum': '390355706462756864-3', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Oh you're a dancer? Please show me your twerking and shuffling moves....

Oh you're a dancer? Please don't show me your twerking and shuffling moves...

sarcasm

{'snum': '390355706462756864-4', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Oh you're a dancer? Please show me your twerking and shuffling moves....

Twerking and shuffling does not make you a dancer.

sarcasm

{'snum': '390355706462756864-5', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Working for 7 hours this Saturday is exactly what I wanted to do

Working for 7 hours this Saturday is exactly what I didn't want to do.

sarcasm

{'snum': '378955709633032192-1', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Working for 7 hours this Saturday is exactly what I wanted to do

I didn't want to work for 7 hours this Saturday.

sarcasm

{'snum': '378955709633032192-2', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Working for 7 hours this Saturday is exactly what I wanted to do

I did not expect working 7 hours this Saturday.

sarcasm

{'snum': '378955709633032192-3', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Working for 7 hours this Saturday is exactly what I wanted to do

I didn't want to work 7 hours this Saturday.

sarcasm

{'snum': '378955709633032192-4', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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WELL COLLEGE DIDN'T CHANGE YOU AT ALL, NOT ONE BIT!!

College changed you a lot.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379102095363678208-1', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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WELL COLLEGE DIDN'T CHANGE YOU AT ALL, NOT ONE BIT!!

College changed a lot.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379102095363678208-2', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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WELL COLLEGE DIDN'T CHANGE YOU AT ALL, NOT ONE BIT!!

College changed you so much.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379102095363678208-3', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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WELL COLLEGE DIDN'T CHANGE YOU AT ALL, NOT ONE BIT!!

You're the same person you were in high school.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379102095363678208-4', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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WELL COLLEGE DIDN'T CHANGE YOU AT ALL, NOT ONE BIT!!

COLLEGE REALLY CHANGED YOU A LOT!!

sarcasm

{'snum': '379102095363678208-5', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Don't you just love those come get me Im in jail phone calls.. .

Don't you just hate those come get me Im in jail phone calls.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379098696505237504-1', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Don't you just love those come get me Im in jail phone calls.. .

Don't we all hate these come get me Im in jail phone calls?

sarcasm

{'snum': '379098696505237504-2', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Don't you just love those come get me Im in jail phone calls.. .

Don't you just hate those come get me I'm in jail phone calls.. .

sarcasm

{'snum': '379098696505237504-3', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Don't you just love those come get me Im in jail phone calls.. .

Don't you just hate those come get me I'm in jail phone calls...

sarcasm

{'snum': '379098696505237504-4', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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Don't you just love those come get me Im in jail phone calls.. .

I hate those "come get me, I'm in jail" phone calls.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379098696505237504-5', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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I haven't seen any photos of kids in Halloween costumes today #weird #Halloween

I have seen too many photos of kids in Halloween costumes today.

sarcasm

{'snum': '395987969779044353-1', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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I haven't seen any photos of kids in Halloween costumes today #weird #Halloween

I have seen too many photos of kids in Halloween costumes today #weird #Halloween

sarcasm

{'snum': '395987969779044353-2', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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I haven't seen any photos of kids in Halloween costumes today #weird #Halloween

There are a lot of holloween pictures of kids.

sarcasm

{'snum': '395987969779044353-3', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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I haven't seen any photos of kids in Halloween costumes today #weird #Halloween

No photos in kids in costumes today.

sarcasm

{'snum': '395987969779044353-4', 'incongruency': 'implicit'}

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There's dead animal smell coming from the wall behind the oven. Awesome. #NotAwesome

There's dead animal smell coming from the wall behind the oven. This is horrible.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379054386426544128-1', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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There's dead animal smell coming from the wall behind the oven. Awesome. #NotAwesome

There's dead animal smell coming from the wall behind the oven. That is terrible.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379054386426544128-2', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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There's dead animal smell coming from the wall behind the oven. Awesome. #NotAwesome

There's dead animal smell coming from the wall behind the oven. Not Awesome.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379054386426544128-3', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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There's dead animal smell coming from the wall behind the oven. Awesome. #NotAwesome

There's dead animal smell coming from the wall behind the oven. That's terrible.

sarcasm

{'snum': '379054386426544128-4', 'incongruency': 'explicit'}

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