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ship was from, what section of the police it was assigned to, and |
where the power feeds should be connected. |
It seemed somehow unnaturally dark and silent, even for a ship |
whose two-man crew was at that moment lying asphyxicated in a |
smoke-filled chamber several miles beneath the ground. It is one |
of those curious things that is impossible to explain or define, |
but one can sense when a ship is completely dead. |
Ford could sense it and found it most mysterious - a ship and two |
policemen seemed to have gone spontaneously dead. In his |
experience the Universe simply didn't work like that. |
The other three could sense it too, but they could sense the |
bitter cold even more and hurried back into the Heart of Gold |
suffering from an acute attack of no curiosity. |
Ford stayed, and went to examine the Blagulon ship. As he walked, |
he nearly tripped over an inert steel figure lying face down in |
the cold dust. |
"Marvin!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing?" |
"Don't feel you have to take any notice of me, please," came a |
muffled drone. |
"But how are you, metalman?" said Ford. |
"Very depressed." |
"What's up?" |
"I don't know," said Marvin, "I've never been there." |
"Why," said Ford squatting down beside him and shivering, "are |
you lying face down in the dust?" |
"It's a very effective way of being wretched," said Marvin. |
"Don't pretend you want to talk to me, I know you hate me." |
"No I don't." |
"Yes you do, everybody does. It's part of the shape of the |
Universe. I only have to talk to somebody and they begin to hate |
me. Even robots hate me. If you just ignore me I expect I shall |
probably go away." |
He jacked himself up to his feet and stood resolutely facing the |
opposite direction. |
"That ship hated me," he said dejectedly, indicating the |
policecraft. |
"That ship?" said Ford in sudden excitement. "What happened to |
it? Do you know?" |
"It hated me because I talked to it." |
"You talked to it?" exclaimed Ford. "What do you mean you talked |
to it?" |
"Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged |
myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer |
at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it," |
said Marvin. |
"And what happened?" pressed Ford. |
"It committed suicide," said Marvin and stalked off back to the |
Heart of Gold. |
================================================================= |
Chapter 35 |
That night, as the Heart of Gold was busy putting a few light |
years between itself and the Horsehead Nebula, Zaphod lounged |
under the small palm tree on the bridge trying to bang his brain |
into shape with massive Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters; Ford and |
Trillian sat in a corner discussing life and matters arising from |
it; and Arthur took to his bed to flip through Ford's copy of The |
Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Since he was going to live in |
the place, he reasoned, he'd better start finding out something |
about it. |
He came across this entry. |
It said: 'The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends |
to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of |
Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, |
Why and Where phases. |
"For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question |
How can we eat? the second by the question Why do we eat? and the |
third by the question Where shall we have lunch?" |
He got no further before the ship's intercom buzzed into life. |
"Hey Earthman? You hungry kid?" said Zaphod's voice. |
"Er, well yes, a little peckish I suppose," said Arthur. |