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DepressionDetection

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in the morning and i can t sleep

haven t had one in awhile took med still nothing helped

is off to the dentist then the midwife for blood test whoop de frikking do

ternyata hanya gue yang make twitter

petemc they re horrible they re out to get me

i don t eat junk drink only water and tea don t eat dairy and even tried stopping with gluten not taking any med

wa feeling fine today and i smoked a cig i know i know and i couldn t remember if i washed my hand before or after touching something like greasy like earlier i remember wiping some wd 0 off my hand lol just a bit i think i m good but overthinking wa fine otherwise lol sorry

today i felt like doing something about this so i decided to make an account and come here ive been suicidal for like a year now and i cant fucking bear it ive almost killed myself quite alot but apparently i have a habit of pussying out of everything i dont know if im dealing with depression or if life is just giving me shit but im finally going to try to get help i also might just stop using this account all together i dont really know what people say here and i dont know what to say myself and thinking about it i dont even know why im doing this

hey everyone so the title say it all been going through depression since i wa around the age of currently i am and beginning to lose to my demon this often push me to take thing to the extreme for example if i want to achieve something then i become obsessed with it and go all out so to say otherwise i feel dead inside people think of me a this strong individual because i have never shown my weakness to anyone even my family so everyone is oblivious to my inner suffering it s a pure living hell it s like having rabies but instead of dying it constantly attack your brain and make you think of irrational thing day in and day out i don t have anything to brag about in my normal life average job no education after high school no car no girlfriend no friend no money to go on holiday nothing the only thing that i got going for myself is my gym addiction built a decent physique over the year and planned to actually compete ironically i had all of these thing minus the money part when i wa in high school lost the ability to smile a well i laugh at joke at funny thing but my heart is dead i became unable to form relationship of any kind whether they d be romantic or friend related just recently lost my business too i am in debt on top of that how do you fight demon who always drag you back down to the bottom of a dark empty ocean every time you start seeing light at the end of the tunnel thank you for reading p s i am not suicidal just want to smile again

i m am very depressed i m getting a degree that i have no interest in getting a job in i work in a retail store and feel like i m going to end up stuck in these type of job forever i play video game hour every day i eat unhealthy my living situation stress me out tremendously i don t want to move back in with my parent but i also can t afford to live on my own i have no passion no drive no meaning in life i m so lost why do i feel like i m losing all control of my life like the world is crumbling around me and i m slowly beginning to fall towards my end the worst part about it is i already know what i have to do to fix my depression work out sleep well quit weed quit masturbating quit nicotine eat well and most importantly stop playing video game i just never do any of them sometimes i ll go a few day good get this sense of euphoria and tell myself everything is fine why am i even worried about the future right now i don t need to do any of this stuff i can fix my life whenever then i go back into my depressive whole i cut off everyone and isolate myself background please don t suggest therapy i ve been to three separate therapist ongoing for the last three year

axon those got cancelled now everybody else is rattling my brain amp makin me cuss something terrible

thousand mile no

is so jeles argh sy pn mau jln sm kau jg sadddddddddddddish

mileycyrus ouch mine too

rampantheart can do everything except add a twitter field in the comment

i just hit something hard i mean i ve been numb before the loss of feeling ha even killed relationship but after the breakup of the best bf i ve ever had numb ha been more common keep in mind it s been abt a week so far well lately with how he s acted and everything and because he even said so i thought we had a chance to work again in the future we broke up because he is suffering mental issue well today he told me he actually lost feeling i also had a small issue with a close friend over lying and smoking and i flipped all my past trauma clicked in right there all the past ex and friend and just people who lied and left me it all hit again which it s crazy to me he triggered it but maybe it s because of the connection i once shared with him but hearing that he lied when he said a couple day before that he still loved me and just wa struggling at the time and all the little flirting and care he s shown feel so contradicting to the point everything clicked off i cried it all out and the emotion wont come back but not even the emotion feel gone i feel like i lost my soul like i wa just blackout drunk my whole life and i just woke up and only recall blurry scene from my life and it s all gone i ve distanced myself from a few close friend and rn only have my bsf and sister im really talking to i cant tell if i fucked up or what but it all is so hazy and confusing i lost whhat im doing and idk what this is or what to do to somehow bend up a better person out of this it s awfully terrifying and it s making me so light headed

wa said to me by my mom too the sentence still ring in my mind not because of how much it irritates me but because of how inherently true it is and not long before that she also felt the need to tell me directly that she doesn t care about how i feel nor if i hurt myself thanks for supporting me mom after already struggling with a potent and vicious envy tormenting and tearing me apart from the inside out that nobody besides myself can comprehend the degree of i ve reached a breaking point beyond what i ve felt before living life unable to stop thinking of someone who feel the exact same just better disturbingly similar attribute idea and one particular concept a concept they executed first because unlike me they re smart and put their year of childhood into crafting something awe inspiring something i should ve done by now it all perfectly line up and enunciates all of my shortcoming constant cry nightmare panic attack and many point of a gun to my head i m nineteen and they re a year younger than i am which really tell how close i wa all of these desire and concept too bad they were stuck in a frangible brain like mine so i could only watch everyone similar sprout and bloom into something significant and prodigious something i should have done unfortunately i clearly wasn t meant to accomplish any of that so i ve tried drawing box and figure but in the end i know better how it ll take year of struggling with this before anything i create even resembles anything i want it to be i don t have the willpower to do it nothing to overcome my feeling of valuelessness i ve just wanted to impress people endlessly feeling boring and disposable take a toll on you especially when you see other people very similar to you shining like star and this mean there s technically no more passion in me passion is the heart and soul in the concept of art so there it is i m not capable of true art i can t comprehend true art sure whatever may be unique about me will die with me before any of it could come out but you know what there s a lot of people out there who do it better there are people who s unique idea are more intuitive and inspiring than mine are the artist i envy ha executed concept and idea with disturbingly strong similarity to my own just better and there are many alike him a well so if people would like whatever is unique about me so damn much they can just go to that fucking artist instead the one who didn t fuck everything up the one who could handle the hardship he wa dealt i m done with it all i already tried shooting myself in 0 and failed once i try a second i definitely won t have to try a third

thought sleeping in wa an option tomorrow but realizing that it now is not evaluation in the morning and work in the afternoon

retracelady djslump morning oh no more of them terremoto earthquake italy

balamurugan a longterm member of the team is leaving this month we ll miss working with him hope he doe well in his next venture

toddlington only a quarter of a percent babe darn

for some reason my life feel like i m stuck in the th circle of hell or something i don t know why i can t seem to hold grasp of anything positive i m year old i have a job i hate with a passion i m in school and almost have my degree but it s taken me year just for my aa i want to direct movie i feel like i can truly do whatever i want and live an amazing life but i can t seem to grasp it i know the work i have to put in but depression and thing in life keep holding me down i pray to god a lot for guidance and strength and sometimes thing seem so clear but other time everything slip through my finger and i m lost i know some might not be religious but i do believe in god i workout a lot i used to be obese i look completely different and have a lot of muscle but inside sometimes a lot of the time i feel invisible do i want to be seen maybe but more so i just want to be appreciated and i want a woman who love and appreciates me and i want a family i want a son and a daughter and i want to live a wholesome life and i want to live the purpose i know drive me i have a girlfriend she went into the army for the reserve and left in january it s march and i just watched her graduate basic training before she left thing were really great i prayed and prayed to have a woman like her in my life and it felt like god actually answered my prayer when i found out she wa going in the military it broke my heart because we had known each other for a month she decided to go into the reserve so she could come back and we could have a life however since she s been gone i can t shake this anxious feeling and i feel trapped and depressed my life is being held down and i am losing sight of myself i watch other people have kid and marriage and all my friend have kid now and it s something i ve always wanted since i wa young i don t know how to describe it but i m being trapped by thought of abandonment and her changing her feeling towards me and meeting someone new she s reassured me so many time so many that it s just redundant at this point i m not the man i wa when we met and i m so much le confident now and i m so scared of losing this girl i hate my life now and i ve contemplated suicide i feel so trapped by my emotion and anxiety and i can t seem to function right i don t want to go to work or eat or move or do anything i just want this to be over she will graduate tech school ait in two month and i will know if she stay with me but i m humiliated by this whole thing and for some reason thing in my life feel difficult my self esteem ha crashed and i can t think straight it not right and almost pitiful to think but others seem to have a good life with their spouse and i have nothing i know it s not the right way to think i had goal and step to get myself out of my crappy job and to live my dream but i can t reach any of them because of how held down i feel the advice i m asking for is what to do i m trying to have faith thing will work out with this girl but if they don t i m going to crash hard this will be the rd serious relationship i ve had potentially not work and i am so scared of my future and dying alone and i feel i have a good heart and am willing to put in the hard work for a relationship and to be the man a woman desire this woman is the first one i ve ever truly loved and i just feel so lost and like a child i m sure not many will read this because it s so long but i m just in a bad spot

already been on ssri s and they didn t do anything i don t desire companionship or want relationship just want to kill the desire entirely

need to sleep but cant

i just need someone to talk to or distraction and sympathy

i stood up for myself about not being credited for artwork used by my school and now somehow that ha lead to a teacher talking about me to my peer behind my back and me being harassed by a woman who work for the school on their drama production i contacted my principal and he ha not responded my mom say if i go to anyone higher up i will get in trouble i feel trapped everyone hate me now and the rest of my school year is going to be horrible i feel like the only way to fix this situation is to die i fucked everything up

ugh stupid bug in spamassassin rule qa backend discovered it s going to take some fixing at some point adding to the todo list

can t sleep i have to wake up in hour

bj keswickproblems ndp oh yeah you must enjoy record breaking inflation housing price that canadian can t afford because of all the foreign investor paying outrageous tax being driven into the next great depression make sure you stand with trudumb

so we paid a company 000 to lift our house to fix the crooked floor they installed these pier yesterday and started lifting this morning about an hour later the guy come up and tell u they can t raise it more than an inch because the foundation started to crack turn out that stabilizing the house is guaranteed but lifting is not we re now paying back a 000 loan for work that accomplished nothing i m absolutely crushed and the depression anxiety is raging in me so hard i don t know if i can continue this is just another devastating failure in my miserable life i ve been struggling to keep it together for my wife and kid and this wa going to be a huge positive thing instead i don t know if i can go on even for them they re better off with this hapless fuckwad out of their life i may overdose on something so at least it will be an open casket at my funeral and my wife can just tell my kid daddy wa sick i wa already severely depressed and this is just the final blow

dancing with myself i m not emo want to write a song

jonathanrknight silver tulip um that would be a hell no to the fugly poker dog pant on the cruise hi jonathan sorry i missed you

michatagana shame what s wrong

over the past couple month i have been suffering a lot with my anxiety i am in an environment where i am surrounded by people who dont care for me are blantantly rude and fake and pressure me beyond belief i am exhausted and want to be happy i m not saying for a second that i am perfect and nice all the time im a know it all socially awkward lack of an ability to stand up for myself but i miss being around the few people that love me and share my interest while i am around bad people i am in a place where i am in a place surrounded by thing i love i cant miss out on this i need to grow and be more confident i can live an adventurous life alone i dont need company i dont need a boyfriend and i don t need friend with me all the time i have been taking leap and going to museum and social public setting all by myself ivd been taking it slow and going to one place everyday or every other day i allow myself to lay in bed after and sleep i am so unbelieveably anxiois and distressed when i am out doing these thing but i am seeing thing i truly love i am experiemcing life i am going on an oit of city trip for a few day soon and i am excited to push my limit a i lay im bed stressed in pain and sleep deprived i am still pushing myself in the morning to go on another adventure by myself

manu ginobili is out for the rest of the season and the playoff

just watched tropic thunder dreading tomorrow

i m a year old male and today is the last day to drop out of uni without paying for the semester i ve been trying to get this degree for a long time and i finally seemed to be on track until last year when my year relationship ended and i wa basically unable to function let alone study properly so now i ve still got full year left to complete and i just can t come to term with staying broke for that long at this age until i ve finished furthermore i m not medicated for my adhd because i couldn t deal with the side effect it s overwhelmingly frustrating and shameful because i know i m intelligent and it s an interesting degree the other thing is i ve basically told my friend and family that there s only year left for some absolutely dumb reason being at uni gave me at least something to tell people that i wa working towards now i m going to have to accept that i m a complete failure with a massive debt if anyone wa in a similar situation or ha advice i d love to hear about it peace

darknbold biolakazeem love and light from me too but i had to unfollow him on all his account so not to fall into depression too blaming mourinho not his fault it s the club that chose him over mourinho someone that should come out and humbly apologise to the club and fan before he leaf

sleep til noon i did it wa the only one left but i got tempted and ate it soon a i got home i had a chocolate velvet amp ate d mocha

am gutted checked weather report for the wrong day no fishing for me today

wahre worte depression depressionen burnout

i m cleaning my house today taking my dog on a nice long walk brushing her giving her all of her treat taking all of the trash out doing all the laundry writing my note and going to bed tonight with the hope that what i take and the amount will kill me i m but i feel like i m 000 i can t pay any of my bill i can t hold down a job because my body is falling apart around me and when my body isn t failing me my dumb stupid useless brain is i hate myself i can t get away from me nobody deserves to have to be stuck with me in their life one funeral and then i m nobody s problem just needed the universe to know it won

i don t know how to push myself and adjust to schedule and adult life no one wa really around to teach me i play video game a lot before it wa because i enjoyed it but now it s because i have nothing else to do with myself or other people i don t have any friend but even now i can t fit in online it feel like no one my age play game anymore they re focused on their life college school work i don t fucking have a life the only other human being i talk to is my dad when he get home from work which is only small talk since we re not very close it s been like this for year now i ve felt completely isolated from the world my entire life which is why i don t fit in why can t talk to people and why i don t fit into society standard i want to fucking die so bad i ve fucked up my life so bad i wasted my highschool year even if i have a whole life ahead of me i don t have the knowledge or will to get anywhere fuck it

i dont think i can do this i am so paralyzed with fear and dont know if i can make myself go in even if i do what if i have a panic attack and embarrass myself what if i am not smart enough and mess everything up customer will probably be mad at me for being so slow im so scared i dont know how to talk with people small talk and all of that how do i not sound awkward i wont be alone because someone is training me and that make me so nervous because theyre watching my every move for eight hour

esuriospiritus time to come back to flawda for double date no seriously i m sorry to hear that

you ever see your depression dread and feel kinda racist

i think my arm are sore from tennis

is waiting for the scrapper to come to pick up his old saab

lost my phone some where maybe in the grass it just so long hope it doesn t rain

phlaimeaux where are you

i don t see why suicide is selfish in my case if i killed myself to make other people s life better i don t think that should be considered a selfish but im called selfish for wanting to kill myself i don t get it im a fuck up if i m alive and i m a fuck up if i want to kill myself i don t know what to do anymore

up early ish to study before getting taken to lunch but then i have to come back from lunch and study more

day leave then easter no work for a week except for the long list of diy job to do at home

hi guy pls who know how to overcome depression i m dying slowly

andy cyrus im still awake too lol cant sleep glad your up tho

i have no will power to do anything i hate doing assignment and study all they do is blame me for not doing anything cuz everyone are doing the same thing and they say that i m not the only one who ha problem i don t know why i m really afraid to call it quits even my mom told me to kill my self i m not sure what i m waiting for

once i hear niphkeys my depression disappears i will not tolerate any zino slander please

i ve been struggling for a long time but it s getting worse i feel alone constantly no matter who s around me i fake a smile to pretend i m okay but i m far from it idk what to do anymore i don t eat i can t sleep no matter how hard i try i never feel that i m good enough what do i do do i give up i don t wan na die but i don t wan na live like this

hi i am an y o female and i struggle with social anxiety i am attending my last year of high school year and i ve been struggling attending school lately especially history class a i have a presentation that wa due week ago it s only in front of the teacher i ve had this teacher for maybe three year now but i hate presenting in front of him i had him in year and too in german but last year it got so bad i had to get help i even went down a grade because of my anxiety he s not a bad teacher or anything like that but he ha this habit of pointing and making u student talk even if we don t necessarily want or is able to which ha made me scared to attend his class i want to cry just thinking about it he also doesn t give any confirmation when we present something he just look disappointed and it doe not help at all he doe this even when we do a good job get good grade i m also not confident about this presentation and i have barely slept these past couple of week because i feel bad about not going to school i sit up wanting to try fix on it but i never end up doing it because i just feel like i can t it s really frustrating it is ruing my attendance and grade in other class too any advice i am in this horrible circle and i just can t seem to get out i almost don t even want to but i m scared i am going to fail history and i can not do it all over again it s too much

pure hurt my neck at the gym

ughhhhh i so didn t see that coming on house ilu bb

starting next month april 0 i ve landed a job at somewhere i have no experience in because all i know is kitchen work it s a filing job and it s very social and communication based something i clearly have anxiety with i will be speaking to people face to face and on the phone daily and i get so anxious thinking about it if anyone ha any advice please help me out i want this job because i hate working in kitchen thank you

i really just need advice right now it s current am where i live and i ve yet to sleep i suffer from emetophobia the fear of throwing up if anyone need context my anxiety usually at night come forth it always wake me up but i wake up with panic attack because i feel nauseous similarly like tonight i m losing sleep because i feel nauseous despite me being so exhausted i m scared to sleep my stomach doesn t roll if i try to drink or eat something it doesn t go away i m on med too i just want some advice i m tired of losing sleep and worrying people because of physical anxiety and a phobia for more context i could eat a spoonful of something and it didn t make my stomach roll at all it sat fine there yet i feel nauseous and have slight pain right now it feel a if i m hungry but my anxiety is making me avoid that i don t know what to do i m very afraid right now

my little pinky finger hurt so much

yes it is and i got ripped off do not shop at wow

a month ago my friend group dropped me because the past few month have been tiring after a situation that involved my crush i kept bothering them about it and it wa just not the same after that i understand where they where coming from though a of right now we re just mutuals we talk in class sometimes and wave to each other in the hallway and smile no drama or anything happened but one person kinda told everyone we ended on good term which im glad happened now i hang out with my other friend we are a trio and we have each other s back nothing is awkward we just vibe with each other let call them em and ki ki is a very friendly person if one of u ha a dislike towards someone she would still talk to them cause shes good with them and they have no drama yesterday ki wa invited to lunch by my ex friend they have been talking and getting closer today in the corner of my eye i see them playing imessage game and just texting each other honestly im just worried that shell hang out with them more often and ill be alone for lunch i am not in charge of who she hang out with i don t mind at all if they re friend she said that our friend group is kind of her main lunch friend group so we hang out like most of the time she said if my ex friend kept inviting her she would probably go maybe a few time i honestly don t know why im worried im overthinking and stressing out a lot right now ive always been like this im afraid to be alone

ha anyone been on this for anxiety im currently on 0mg of lamictal and my anxiety s been getting worse my psych prescribed hydroxyzine but im only able to take it at night a it either knock me out or lead to more physical feeling of anxiety tightness in my chest and headache his only other option he talked about wa an anti anxiety buspar taken everyday but i really want an a needed i take pill a day and ssri snris are not an option i also dont deal with anxiety daily but rather panic attack anxiety attack that occur randomly i guess im wondering how anyone here would describe hydroxyzine in comparison to benzos ha anyone been on both before and have an insight to which may be better i understand the risk i just want some honest info about your experience in what help thank you in advance

xambix wow welcome home eh that s well shit especially just coming back off holiday some fucking people

sir almo it wont let me play doh keep saying user not valid

can t sleep dam nap lol and it hot

i have always hated myself and have attempted suicide several time for the past year since my last attempt what had kept me going ha been focusing on changing myself to become someone i can stand a long a changing and improving myself felt possible death didn t seem like the only answer to escape who i am despite covid i have liked myself more in the past year than ever before because i felt like i wa actually making progress on becoming a good person in therapy so it felt even more do able then four week ago my therapist told me that all this time therapy hasn t been working he reduced the amount of therapy i receive per week because i wa relying on it too much to enact the change it wa immediately clear after the change that he wa right i m the exact same piece of shit i ve always been i wa just able to be better because of his help a soon a it wa removed i went right back to how i wa before i feel so foolish humiliated and defeated i feel like i ve been in the desert racing desperately towards an oasis for the past two year only to discover it wa just a mirage all along death really is the only way to escape being who i am

japh i wish i d known that there were more ticket earlier rang this arvo one left but amy would end up sitting alone sigh too hard

omg my girl just woke me up reason doesnt matter amp now i cant fall back to sleep got ta b up at so maybe i ll just stay up sigh

i miss family guyyy

i get so confused sometimes i don t know whats real why i m being so dramatic if i can ever actually do this

scc skwerl aww how depressing

the note is done written edited signed done the noose is cinched and hung all that s left is for me to decorate the door i stood staring at it for what felt like an eternity today every second had felt like eternity i had writhed in agony watching each minute tick by a if a lifetime had passed i had tried everything i knew and i d been told dunked my face in cold water but my forehead had felt red hot meditated and focused on my breathing but i d retreat back into my head between each breath and be left gasping for air took a scalding bath for a moment i wa in my skin again but then the water and i felt a one i tried to nap a reset wa always in store but i woke up still at death s door i hadn t done it yet though i d never been closer but i still hadn t done it before i hit send before i decorated the door i told myself i d go for one last run to get out of my head i ve been treading water the last week just barely keeping my head up i tried mushroom a few day ago and for the first time in what felt like month could accept myself in fact i discovered i wa stuck in time two month earlier when i d been dumped my heart hadn t moved on but the universe relentlessly had and for hour the mushroom gave me clarity that i needed to move on and even had there wa a moment when time seemed to stop and suddenly i wa vaulted forward to the present over and around the intervening month i wa present again but just a sudden a the revelation had fallen upon me it wa stripped away and the black dog weighed down my chest once more shakily i put on my running clothes i considered my route an old standard roughly mile it d buy me a calculated more minute to think about this decision i cinched my lace i hate these shoe i struck out the door when my foot hit the pavement i realized this wasn t a regular jog i wasn t running to run i wa running to kill myself or not i d find out along the way suddenly the route and distance didn t matter i knew i d be going further than i d thought i started out at a normal pace and began upping my tempo i knew i wa out of shape i knew a single minute mile would be my limit a it had been on several of the past day but today wasn t those day i couldn t feel the exhaustion the pain of my body moment earlier all i could feel wa my body exhausted i wa trapped in my head i could push my body well past it s limit today because i wasn t leaving my heart or my head until my body hurt more around the first mile i started muttering to myself you ve never outrun yourself before but today is the day you beat yourself and i kept running i came upon a long flat stretch a narrow catwalk along the water s edge and i broke into a sprint i wa going to break myself now i pushed until i could feel the burn in my leg my throat and my lung i hadn t pushed myself like this in day week month or maybe even year i d forgotten what it felt like i started feeling light headed this wa to be alive but it couldn t last i ground to a halt and walked finally outside my head again but still thinking finally not drowning in my thought i d realized earlier what it is in those last moment it is quite literally drowning in your thought my brain take over dwelling on my past failure rejection loss and it s a if every iota of my brain power is diverted to these fruitless foray in my hippocampus every drip of processing is diverted suddenly my breathing reflex kick in i haven t been breathing i ve been drowning in my thought and with it a sense of fear and dread adrenaline course through my aorta spreading across my chest and dilating my bronchus fight or flight from my own past pushing myself achieves this same end but what am i running for what am i running toward i don t know and i feel so lost and unbound adrift and asea i thought again if this is your last run you re going out strong and started sprinting again i ran and i ran and i ran i ran through throng of people amidst cherry blossom who didn t know i wa probably running to my death but suddenly i didn t want to die anymore at least not yet not now and i started a new mantra this run saved my life and i realized i could say that every time i ran or biked or hiked or sat with friend or worked on a project or spoke to my mom but to do so i d have to get through those long dark minute of pure and intense pain i d have to learn to hurt myself again running hiking biking but i kept running a fast and a hard a i could i circled back around on my path it wa a lollipop route and i wa completing the candy and i pushed myself until i wa back on the inner leg of it the stem i pushed myself so hard i started vomiting in a homeless camp of all place i d had nothing to eat today and little yesterday i wa subsisting on coffee the bile came up black sour bitter much a the coffee had been going down it seemed a funny parallel and i decided then that i wanted to write about this i wanted to share my story because today i didn t kill myself i might have some part of me wanted to but i ran away and i ll keep running it s tough but i think i found something to run for again i d mostly stopped running age ago but i think this wa the motivation i needed to start again the rest of my life is in shamble and i don t know what i m doing but i can keep running i ll start running with a group i think and each time i ll let them know at the end this run saved my life i ll let them decide what that mean to me and them

is supposed to work for university but the construction sight close by make contant noise

so i have finally come to realize that i have had this fantasy that i have a family that care my mother ha her own issue bi polar my mom life partner just doesn t care and tell me to get over it my sperm donor of a bio dad remarried and ha his own family now and is ecstatic about his grand kid i feel like i wa the throw away tossed out with the garbage when it come to my parent it ha taken me 0 year to come to this conclusion why did it take me so long when my sister said f ck you when she wa hope is the only thing i can come up with to answer that question they say blood is thicker than water when it come to family i now disagree i have finally come to the conclusion that my parent can kick rock if they fell off of a cliff i would watch them fall some would say that is a heartless thing to say about your parent but i am done done placing myself in a situation that allows my heart to be trampled by one that claim to love me or one i would think should care all of these thought and outcome in life have lead me to being suicidal and depressed i am now working hard to manage my thought of suicide and depression first thing is to get my finance in check pay down my debt so i can become financially free to do what i want with my money second and really while i am working on my finance lose some weight and get my physical health back on track it is time for me to start living this life i have been gifted with and see were it take me all i ask of you is your support and prayer if interested check my profile from time to time a i make journal entry posting them to my personal profile god bless i love you all

mercygrl oh wow a little chubster you cant invite ppl to play uno on facebook at the moment

in the university in the classroom on the computer shit my day is boring

i ve had tinnitus for like year could it be somehow related to anxiety also neck pain for year tension mainly thanks for answer

cathrynscott thank you nor me

ginayates sorry to hear about maggie thought to your mum

sloanb got it sadly only work for uk amp u at the moment

lizp0 x oh man that suck i m hoping to go to school happy tomorrow or else it won t be good ahhh

i m just so tired i can t do anything there are bag full of clothes and me took one and a half hour to unpack le than two of them i also made a mistake of leaving myself with my own thought so i began to spiral starting with me being angry at my ex and ending on me having flashback from primary school when i probably wa also depressed when i wa every day after school sitting at my desk trying to study or do homework but i couldn t even start or focus due to adhd and executive dysfunction i wa every day sitting at my desk after school guilty over doing nothing and sitting like that until sleep time only to get yelled at next day for getting another bad grade for not doing homework i just despise almost everything in my life my parent aren t supportive at all except providing therapy and med which is a lot but they re one of the reason why my mental health is so bad since i remember i can t do anything and i m useless i might need to repeat my school year cause i missed a lot of class due to me literally being unable to get up i don t have energy or time for my friend but i constantly vent to them and i know it s annoying a heck for them even though they claim that i can vent a much a i want to cause they do the same but i just can t go without telling someone how shitty i feel and even if they read that stuff they just respond with one word reply or sad emoji my ex constantly stress me out with his weird as message and i have to see him at school every day i just feel like everything is just too much and definitely a lot more than i m able to do the biggest challenge in my day is waking up and taking any care of myself but i m also expected to help out with chore study a lot for final be at every class and to not make everyone uncomfortable with how bad my mental health is so right now i m sitting and having mental breakdown for hour and forty minute already with three bag of clothes waiting to be sorted while i have private lesson in 0 minute and my dad will get angry a fuck at me if i won t get this done before those lesson the worse part is just how no one even care about that not my friend not my parent cause in their opinion i m lazy and probably no one here too the only person that care is my therapist who is paid to care about the fact that i more and more feel like killing myself over the simplest thing like chore

i don t really feel like i could talk to anyone here about it i sure a hell don t have the motivation to get a therapist though it would likely help honestly sometimes i wonder how i m expected to make it so many year there s just no way i can afford to smoke enough weed to get through even though i graduate in a couple month and move to college i know it s not gon na get better it s the same but new and ill just get to relive this hell again truthfully i have no hope for the future despite my inability to pull my own plug i realized however i don t think i could kill myself not anymore so i ll just keep sitting here though i really don t want to

gon na be a great day of the member of our team are off

the great depression

wanted to tweet that i wa in victoria but silly canadian service wouldn t work home now and sad vacation is over

vernonhamilton you re a stranger

austinhill i wish i wa sold out if you have some time let me know i would love to hear more about what you are up to

gavlp yes i hope these shock are going to stop soon i think i m getting angry with earth itself

cause of depression 0 mark http t co ha ni dih

my lymph node are a massive a rahm emanuel s ball right now

something except talking to people about it i tried it and i regret it especially my parent i m not diagnosed but it s so painfully obvious at least for me i don t even know why i feel this way it s making me unable to do simple shit and everyone around me hate me because of it memory loss is annoying too i swear if this shit is permanent i will fucking lose it

joenoia wa up lovely i anit show you no love yet

therapy day again depression mentalhealth mentalhealthawareness momentum http t co teqvxekg

i m so scared of being rejected i never talk to them because i m so scared my heart start racing and i don t know what to do about it