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[Scene: Manor. Paige's room. Paige is there lying on her bed, talking on the phone.] Paige: Hey, it's so good to talk to you. I was getting worried about you. You've been gone for far too long, Glen. Glen: Yeah, I'm sorry, I-I should've called and let you know that I was alright. I guess I, uh, ended up staying a little longer than I thought. Paige: That's okay, you'll just have to take me to dinner tomorrow night to make it up to me. Glen: Dinner... I-I can't tomorrow night, Paige, I got plans. Paige: Oh. Glen: I still wanna meet you though, I mean, I really wanna see you. (Paige flips through a photo album with pictures of her and Glen inside.) Paige: Good, 'cause, um, there's actually something I really want to talk to you about. Glen: Really? Sounds mysterious. That's actually great because there's something that I really wanna talk to you about too. Paige: Great. Then it's a date. (The room creeks and Paige ignores it.) Uh, so I'll see you at 11:00. Glen: 11:00 is good, 11:00 is great. (The phone cradle starts to slide across the side table by itself.) Usual place at the lake? Paige: (to the moving phone) Damn it, no! Glen: Or we can meet wherever. (The phone floats into the air.) Paige: Stop it I said. Glen: Stop what? Paige: Uh, nothing, I'll just, um, yeah, see you tomorrow, it'll be great. (Paige pulls the phone out of the wall and sighs.) [Cut to Piper's bedroom. Leo is asleep in bed. Piper is in the nursery mumbling to herself. Leo reaches over to Piper's side of the bed and wakes when he feels she's not there.] Piper: I am so sick of this. Leo: Piper? Piper: Hm? Leo: What are you doing? (Leo sits up. Piper walks out of the nursery carrying a packet of diapers.) Piper: I'm putting the diapers back where they belong, that is what I'm doing. (She puts the diapers on a shelf.) Leo: But it's 2:00 in the morning. Piper: Yeah, well, apparently our little ghosts and goblins are not sleeping, so how can I? I wish they would just attack us rather than move stuff around. (She goes back in the nursery and picks up a pile of diapers from under the crib. She takes them into the bedroom and places them on the shelf.) Leo: I told you, they're not ghosts, they're-they're pests. Residual energy left over from all the demons you vanquished here. Besides, the Elders said they would dissipate over time. Piper: Yeah, okay, well, they're not dissipating. It's getting worse. They're, like, organising and they're making it impossible for me to keep the baby things in order. Leo: I know, but it's 2:00 in the morning. (Cackling and groans heard. Piper looks at the shelf and the diapers are missing. She goes into the nursery and the diapers have shown up under the crib.) Piper: Ohh, I'm telling you, Leo, they are trying to drive me crazy. (They hear a cow bell clang and Phoebe chanting in a very loud voice.) What was that? (Piper and Leo go out into the hallway. Paige walks into the hallway from her room. Phoebe walks down the stairs chanting, ringing the cow bell and waving an incense stick.) Paige: What the hell is going on? Phoebe: Hi. Piper: Phoebe, what are you doing? Phoebe: I am cleansing the house. (She continues chanting.) Leo: At 2:00 in the morning? Phoebe: Shh! (Everyone listens for a moment and then Phoebe continues chanting. She walks down the stairs to the first floor.) Piper: Phoebe. Phoebe! (They all follow.) [Cut to downstairs.] Piper: Phoebe, hold it! Phoebe: What? What? What? Piper: You're polluting the place. What is that crap? Phoebe: The strongest purification in the Book of Shadows. Paige: You think that's gonna help? Phoebe: It better because Cole's residual evil is taking on a life of its own. And look at my hair. I woke up, it was in a ponytail. I did not put it in a ponytail. Piper: And you think Cole is connected to this? Phoebe: Well, yeah, after all the time he spent here, how could he not be? This house needs some serious feng shui-ing. Piper: Oh, give me that! (She grabs the burning incense and cow bell off of Phoebe.) Leo: I'm telling you guys, it's all harmless. It's gonna go away by itself. (A vase of flowers rise off a table and floats past them. Then the chandelier shakes and doors open and close. The vase drops and smashes on the floor. A white ghost-like mist floats in and grabs Phoebe, pulling her up above the stairs.) Piper: Phoebe! Paige: Piper, blow it up. (Piper tries to blow it up and blows up part of the ceiling instead.) Phoebe: Whoa! (Piper tries again and blows up another part of the ceiling.) Do something! Paige: Electricity! Poltergeists don't like electricity. (Piper blows up the ceiling light and the sparks electrocute the poltergeist. It lets go of Phoebe and she falls onto the stairs.) Oh. Phoebe: You were saying? Opening Credits [Scene: Manor. Paige's bedroom. Paige is there putting on some makeup. She then does her hair and tries to choose an outfit. She finds one she likes and puts it on.] [Cut to the downstairs hallway. Piper and Leo are cleaning up the blown up ceiling plaster and Phoebe is in the dining room flipping through the Book of Shadows.] Phoebe: Why are you so sure that it wasn't a poltergeist? I mean, it definitely didn't like getting zapped, that's for sure. Leo: I know, but poltergeists are spirits, this was more like a manifestation. Phoebe: A manifestation of what? Cole's left over energy? Leo: Well, not just Cole's but every bit of evil that's been through here. It seems to be coalescing into this some sort of being. Piper: Gee, you think? Leo: I know, I'm sorry, I underestimated it. It's just I've never heard of it getting this bad before, that's all. Piper: Well, you're forgiven, now how do we get rid of it? Leo: I don't know. Phoebe: Don't worry, I will find a way. Where there's a ying there's a yang. Piper: Okay, I have no idea what that means but I do know that I can not raise a child in this environment, people. Phoebe: Piper, you're not due for another couple of months. Piper: Exactly, I am running out of time. (Paige comes down the stairs.) Paige: Good morning! How do you like my outfit? Piper: You look like you are not gonna help clean up. Paige: You have got that right. I'm gonna go meet Glen. And besides, isn't everything just gonna get messed up again anyway? Piper: Bite your tongue. Leo: A little dressed up for Glen. Looks more like you're going on a date. Paige: Maybe I am. Phoebe: Excuse me? Did I just hear correctly? You and Glen together again? Paige: I hope so. I kinda wanna talk to him about that. Phoebe: Really? Fascinating. Piper: Haven't you and Glen dated many times before? Paige: Yeah, kinda been hanging out on and off since high school, you know. Piper: I see. So you think maybe this time it might work out? Paige: I hope so. Especially 'cause lately, I'll be out on a date and I just wind up thinking about him. Phoebe: Proof of love. Leo: At least he knows you're a witch, you won't have to hide anything. Paige: That is a very good point. Piper: Alright, Sally, go meet Harry. Good luck. Paige: Thank you. If you need me, you know I'm just an orb away. Just holler. (Part of the ceiling falls on top of Piper.) Uhh. Piper: Would now be a bad time? Phoebe: Hey, hey, I think I found something. [Time lapse. Piper, Phoebe, Paige and Leo are in the kitchen making a potion. The potion explodes.] Leo: A witch doctor? Phoebe: Okay, liverwort and a pinch of dragon root. Paige: Dragon root. Phoebe: Okay. (Paige throws some dragon root in the pot.) Paige: Got it. Leo: Wait, shouldn't we be talking about this? Phoebe: What is there to talk about, Leo? It says right here that they expel evil spirits. Leo: Still, that doesn't mean they're good. Witch doctors are kind of a wild card, that's why the Elders don't want us working with them. Piper: Well, sometimes we don't wanna work with the Elders, so we're even. (Phoebe and Paige giggle.) Besides, do you have a better idea? Leo: No. Phoebe: Okay, then. Get the snakeskin ready and after I read the spell, then you throw it in. "Free us from the ties that bind, of evil magic intertwined, we call upon the one who cures, he who's to the dark injured." Paige: You ready? (She throws in the snakeskin and the potion explodes. Magical lights rise out of the potion a man in a black suit appears near by.) Man: How may I be of service? Paige: Are you a witch doctor? Witch Doctor: Let me guess. You were expecting someone with a bone through the nose and a shrunken head necklace, perhaps? Phoebe: Yeah, actually, yeah, yeah. (He sighs.) Witch Doctor: You make this huge effort to change with the times. It's always the stereotypes that persist. Now, where is the evil? (He looks under the kitchen table and so do the girls.) Piper: Uh, here, there, everywhere. (He pulls a voodoo doll out of his pockets and holds it out in front of him.) Witch Doctor: Ever vanquished a demon in this house by any chance? (Phoebe chuckles.) Phoebe: Oh, only about a hundred. Piper: Give or take. Phoebe: Another hundred. Witch Doctor: Explains all the evil energy I'm sensing. This is going to take some time. Paige: Yeah, well, can you do it? Witch Doctor: Absolutely. May I? Piper: Go for it. (The witch doctor leaves the kitchen.) Leo: I'm gonna keep an eye on him. Paige: Alright, I'm gonna go see Glen. Phoebe: I have to go to work. (Paige kisses Piper's head.) (to Piper's stomach) Goodbye, my little baby, I love you so much. Piper: Um, but... (Phoebe and Paige leave.) Uh... Well, hey, don't worry about me. I'll just clean this all up by myself. [Scene: The Bay Mirror. Phoebe walks out of her office holding a newspaper. She storms over to Elise.] Phoebe: Did you see what that turkey did? Elise: Good morning, Phoebe, how are you? Phoebe: It's a full page ad. Spencer Ricks is challenging me with this, this chauvinistic crap. Listen to this. "Ask Phoebe says every woman needs to find her own inner goddess", right? Spencer Ricks says, "That's fine as long as she cooks and cleans". Can you believe that? Elise: He's just trying to drum up publicity by being controversial. Phoebe: Yeah, well, that's not gonna work. Is it? Elise: It's working so far. The daily readership is up because of his advice column and we're a little down. Phoebe: Well, what are we gonna do? I mean, we can't just ignore this. Elise: We're not. As a matter of fact, the other editors and I have decided to fight fire with fire, if that is, you're open to it. Phoebe: Absolutely. Whatever it takes to vanquish the competition, I'm all... You know, defeat the competit... I'm just a very competitive person, you know. Elise: Oh, I've noticed, which is why I think you're gonna like our little plan. We've arranged a photo shoot for you. Today at 3:00. Phoebe: A photo shoot? Elise: 415 is doing an expose on local celebrities. We want you to be apart of it. Phoebe: I don't know, Elise. Elise: Oh, it's all gonna be very tasteful of course. Although, I want you to be free to show off any of your lovely... assets as you feel comfortable. Phoebe: Elise, I don't know if I can do that. I mean, why stoop to that? You know, I am an advice columnist. I'm not some playmate. Elise: Okay. I respect that. (She turns to leave but stops.) Although, you should know that Spencer Ricks will be in the issue. Phoebe: What time did you say I have to be there? [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Park. Paige is there standing near a large lake. Glen walks up to her.] Glen: Paige? Paige: Hi! (They hug.) Glen: I like your hair. Paige: Thank you. Glen: Serious hug. Paige: Yeah, well, I missed you. Glen: I missed you too. You look really great. Paige: Thank you, so do you. Um, how was your climb? It was the Matterhorn, right? Glen: It was awesome. Uh, there was a lot more people there than when we were there though. Paige: That's too bad. Glen: So what about you? You kill any demons lately? Paige: Of course, but I probably shouldn't talk about that here. Glen: Right, right, sorry. (He laughs.) Sorry. So... Paige: So... Glen: Wh-. Paige: Okay, you go first, I insist. Glen: Okay, well, I'm getting married. Paige: What? Glen: Yeah, I wanted you to be the first to know. After my parents, of course, but... Paige: You're getting married? Glen: Oh, here she is, here-here she is. Jessica. (A beautiful blonde woman approaches them.) Jessica: Sorry I'm so late, I couldn't find parking anywhere. Hi. Paige: Hi. Jessica: You must be Paige. Glen's told me so much about you. It's nice to finally meet you. Paige: It's great to see you. (She laughs awkwardly.) Glen: So what did you wanna tell me? [Scene: Manor. Piper's room. Leo and the Witch Doctor are there. An electrical bolt, flowing out of the Witch Doctor's voodoo doll, has a hold of the evil spirit. The evil spirit screams and is sucked into the voodoo doll. The Witch Doctor sighs in relief and chuckles.] Leo: I hope you got it. Witch Doctor: That was a little bitty baby one. The big mamma's still hiding somewhere. But I'll find her, don't you worry. (He walks around the room.) These walls are clogged with evil waste. The worst I've ever seen. Sure these are good witches that live here? Leo: The best. Although, one of them is going to go very evil on us if we don't get this room cleaned up in a hurry, believe me. Witch Doctor: Is that a fact? Leo: Well, not literally. All I mean is that you need to finish up here in a hurry, that's all. Witch Doctor: I understand. (The Witch Doctor picks up a lipstick and goes to put it in his pocket until Leo sees him.) Leo: What are you doing? Did you just take something? Witch Doctor: You mean this lipstick? I'm having trouble differentiating between the witches magic and evil. Personal items help me separate them better. That's if it's alright with you of course. Leo: I guess. Witch Doctor: You don't trust me, do you? Pity. Witch Doctors help rid the world of dark spirits. Now I would think that you'd think that was a good thing. [Cut to the foyer. Piper's there. Leo and the Witch Doctor walk down the stairs.] Piper: Hey, I heard an explosion. What's going on up there? Leo: Don't worry, everything's okay. Piper: I am a little worried and I need to know if this is going to work or not. Witch Doctor: Once I catch big mamma, it'll all be over with. Piper: Big mamma? Who's big mamma? Leo: I don't know. (Paige barges through the front door.) Paige: He's getting married, that dirty rat. (The Witch Doctor walks into the living room.) Piper: Who? Paige: Glen. He's getting married to some bimbette he met climbing the Matterhorn. Piper: At Disneyland? Paige: No, Switzerland. Oh, but me? I'm lucky because I got an invitation to the wedding. (She holds up the invitation and rips it in half. She throws it on the floor.) Piper: Hey, pick that up. [Cut to the living room. The Witch Doctor is looking at a picture of Piper, Phoebe and Paige. He clicks his fingers and the photo magically appears in his hand.] [Cut to in the foyer.] Paige: I mean, I was on the phone with him. He had plenty of time to tell me about this, but no, he couldn't mention a single thing. Lucky, lucky me I didn't say what I really wanted. Ugh, really, I think I would have died. (A groaning sound is heard.) Leo: Excuse me. (Leo goes into the living room.) Piper: Uh, so what are you gonna do? Paige: Do?! Well, I'm gonna kill him. (Paige sighs.) No, I'm gonna apologise because I'm a good girl. I was a little bit rude, especially to her. Although, I don't know what he sees in her. She's not his type at all. She's blonde! (Suddenly, Leo comes crashing through the wall. Piper and Paige go over to him. They hear a scream and the Witch Doctor has a hold of "Big Mamma" with an electric bolt. He struggles to suck her in.] Witch Doctor: That's it! Stand back! (He sucks in Big Mamma with his voodoo doll.) Gotcha. (Paige sees their blown up TV.) Paige: Oh, I guess I'm not watching the Osbournes tonight. Piper: (to Leo) Are you okay? (He groans.) Leo: Yeah. (The Witch Doctor spots Paige's car keys near by. He wiggles his fingers and the keys appear in his hand. Leo gets up.) Witch Doctor: My work here is complete. Your house has been cleansed. (He disappears.) Piper: Hm. Doesn't look very cleansed to me. (She looks at the destroyed living room.) [Scene: Witch Doctors' Lodge. Fellow Witch Doctors sit around the room. The Witch Doctor appears in the room.] Head Witch Doctor: Well? Witch Doctor: The house has been purged, although how it became infested in the first place is very troublesome. Head Witch Doctor: Go on. Witch Doctor: Whoever these witches are, they're magnets for evil, it's drawn to their powers. Head Witch Doctor: Can they withstand it? Witch Doctor: Doubtful. They're easily distracted by the pettiness of their lives. Sooner or later evil will overtake them, and along with it, their powers. Head Witch Doctor: Then we must eliminate them. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor. Living room. Piper and Leo are there cleaning up.] Piper: Ugh. Didn't we just do this? Leo: Yeah, and I still think you should've made Paige stay and help. Piper: Well, apparently she has her own mess to clean up. Leo: Well, hopefully we don't have to do this again anytime soon. Piper: Are you kidding me? With exploding demons and trampling sisters, this place is a disaster area always. I have no idea what it's going to be like when the baby comes. Leo: Well, I'm more concerned with the Witch Doctor right now. Piper: Why? Because he took my lipstick? Leo: And Paige's keys. Piper: You don't know that he took those. I mean, she loses her keys daily. Leo: Well, maybe. All I'm saying is there's something not right with that Witch Doctor, that's all. Piper: Well, he took care of the things that go bump in the night, so that's all I care about. (Phoebe walks in.) Phoebe: Whoa, what happened in here? Piper: We've been healed. Phoebe: Really? Way to go, doc. I gotta go change. Piper: Why? Where are you going? Phoebe: To a photo shoot. To compromise my integrity. I'm going to kill the competition. Piper: Alright then. Whatever that means. (Phoebe goes upstairs.) Leo: Hey, uh, picture's missing. Piper: What? Leo: The one of you and Phoebe, Paige? It went right here. Piper: Maybe it fell out. Leo: No, it was glued in. Piper: Come on, why would he want a picture of us? Leo: I don't know, I'm not a witch doctor. All I'm saying is he obviously wanted it for something. Phoebe: (from upstairs) Hey! Who stole my toothbrush? (Piper looks at Leo.) Piper: I'll go make the summoning potion. Leo: I'll go check with the Elders. [Scene: Witch Doctors' Lodge. The Witch Doctor and the Head Witch Doctor are there making a potion.] Head Witch Doctor: If these witches are as powerful as you say they are, how will you kill them? Witch Doctor: By attacking them as humans. Women. (He picks up a voodoo doll and wraps Paige's keys around it.) Which each likeness, I'll turn their character flaws into obsessions. Obsessions that will consume them. Destroy them. (He puts the voodoo doll into the pot.) [Scene: A church. Glen, Jessica and a priest are there. Paige walks in.] Paige: Uh, Glen? Glen: Excuse me. (Glen walks over to Paige.) Paige: You're mad? Glen: No, I'm not mad, Paige. I'm just confused. What happened to you this morning? Why were you so mean to Jess? Paige: I wasn't mean, necessarily, I was just rude. Glen: Fine, whatever. Why? Paige: I guess I felt like you just kind of came along and dropped this huge bombshell on me. I was hurt. Glen: Hurt, why? (She doesn't answer.) Wait, you thought you and I... Paige: No. No, I didn't think that at all. (Jessica comes up to them.) Jessica: Glen, the minister's waiting. (Suddenly, Paige's eyes glow, then return to normal.) Paige: Uhh. Glen: Are you okay? Paige: I'm fine. Jessica, I wanted to apologise for not being friendlier earlier, I really am sorry. Jessica: Thank you. Thanks for saying that. Paige: I just don't understand what Glen's doing with such a blonde bimbette. Glen, Jessica: What? Paige: And really, who's the surgeon who does those boobs, because they are fantastic. I should get the number for a friend of mine. Glen: Paige, what the hell is wrong with you? Paige: Me? Well, nothing's wrong with me. I'm not the one marrying the wrong woman. Jessica: Oh my god. (Jessica walks away.) Glen: Wait, Jessica, Jessica. What are you doing? [Cut to the Witch Doctors' Lodge.] Witch Doctor: Next. (He puts another voodoo doll with Piper's lipstick attached to it in the pot.) [Cut to the manor. Kitchen. Piper is making a potion.] Piper: Liverwort, dragon's root... (Leo orbs in.) Leo: How close are you to summoning him? Piper: Uh, a little bit of snake skin and a bad rhyme away. Why? Leo: Well, the Elders think the Witch Doctor's been stealing your stuff to put a hex on you. Piper: A hex? For what? Leo: He thinks you're evil too, which is why the sooner you summon him the better. (Piper's eyes glow and then turn back to normal. She walks over to the sink.) Piper, what are you doing? Piper: Cleaning up. (She starts to wash the dishes.) Leo: Right now? Piper: You know, you can never really get a dish sanitary enough, can you? (She throws a plate in the trash.) Dirty. (She throws another.) Dirty. (And another.) Dirty. Leo: Piper, what is the matter with you? Piper: What is the matter with me? I don't know. (She looks at the windows.) Are those water spots? (She blows up the window.) Much better. Leo: Okay, alright, you keep cleaning and I'll be back with help. (He orbs out. Piper continues to throw plates in the trash.) [Cut to the Witch Doctors' Lodge.] Witch Doctor: Last but not least. Phoebe. (He throws the last voodoo doll with Phoebe's toothbrush attached into the pot.] [Scene: Photographic Studio. Phoebe is sitting on a beach chair holding The Bay Mirror newspaper. A photographer is taking photos of her.] Photographer: This is excellent! Excellent! Good! Excellent. You're a natural at this. Phoebe: Oh, I don't know about all that. I'm not even sure why I'm doing all this actually. Photographer: You're doing this to throw Spencer Ricks out of the water, honey, and we both know it. A little more skin wouldn't hurt. (Phoebe laughs.) Phoebe: Oh, no, I can't do that. Photographer: It's your career. Reload! (A guy takes his camera. Phoebe's eyes glow. Leo goes over to Phoebe.) Leo: Phoebe. Phoebe: Leo, what are you doing here? Leo: I've gotta get you home. Something's wrong with Piper. Photographer: Excuse me? Who are you? Leo: Me? I'm her brother-in-law. Photographer: Well, good for you but this is a closed set. Buh! As in buh-bye. Leo: Sorry, but there's kind of a family emergency. Photographer: (sarcastic) Oh, sorry, I should've realised. (Phoebe stands up.) Phoebe: No, it's okay. I'll stay. (She takes off her dress to reveal a two-piece bathing suit underneath. She leans against a prop tree.) Photographer: Okay, um, we're shooting. Get the fan going, we're shooting, we're shooting, and we're shoo... Um, brother-in-law person, can you disappear? (Leo walks away, shocked.) Excellent! Beautiful. [Scene: Church. Jessica walks out of the building with Glen following.] Jessica: So, what, now you're defending her? Glen: No, Jess. All I'm trying to say is that's not like Paige. Jessica: She insults me, humiliates me and now you're trying to explain it. Glen: No, she was out of her head, she didn't know what she was saying. Jessica: Oh my god, don't even try. She knew exactly what she was saying to me, Glen. Glen: She didn't mean it. I'm telling you. I've known her forever. Jessica: Well, then fine. Why don't you marry her? (Jessica walks away. Glen goes back inside. Jessica goes over to her car and gets in. Paige is sitting in the passenger seat.) Paige: Rough day? (Jessica gasps.) Jessica: What are you doing in my car? Paige: Waiting for you. (Paige orbs out with Jessica.) [Cut to a rocky ledge above a fiery pit. Paige orbs in with Jessica.] Paige: Careful now, you wouldn't want to fall. Jessica: What happened? Where am I? Paige: You pissed off a witch, that's what happened. Jessica: What? (Paige orbs out and leaves Jessica there.) Help! Help! [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Phoebe is there making a potion. She throws something in and it sparks.] Phoebe: Oh! This is gonna be fun. Okay, feather, feather, where do we keep the feathers? (She looks in a cupboard. Piper walks in from the basement carrying plastic covers.) Piper: Oh my god! You've made a mess! Phoebe: Where's the feathers? Piper: What do you want feathers for? Phoebe: Killer potion for Spencer Ricks. Piper: Oh. Second cabinet, under F. I alphabetized. It's much more orderly. (Phoebe looks in the second cupboard.) Phoebe: I see it. Perfect. (She pulls out a jar of feathers.) Okay. (She goes back to the potion.) What are those? Piper: Slip covers. To keep the furniture clean. Although I've come to the conclusion that we should probably just stand from now on. Phoebe: Whatever. Okay. (She throws a feather in the pot and the potion makes a small explosion.) Piper, just so you know, I may have to flee the country, but just for a little while. And I will call you, okay. (Phoebe fills a vial with the potion.) Piper: Oh, no you don't, Missy. There will be no fleeing the country until you clean up after yourself. Phoebe: No-no-no-no-no, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm possessed. (Phoebe races out of the kitchen.) Piper: That is not an excuse! [Scene: Church. A changing room. Leo orbs in.] Leo: Paige? (Paige pokes her head around a changing screen.) Thank god you're here, we have serious problems. Paige: Like what? (Paige comes out from behind the screen, wearing a wedding dress.) Leo: Like... why are you wearing a wedding dress? Paige: Because I'm going to get married. (Paige morphs into Jessica.) Thanks to my Whitelighter powers. Leo: Oh, no. Jessica/Paige: I can convince Glen to move up the ceremony before that crazy ex of his gets in the way again. Clever, huh? (She looks in the mirror.) Hmm, nose job, should have guessed. Leo: Paige, you can't do this, this isn't you. Jessica/Paige: It is now. At least until after the honeymoon and then maybe I'll switch back. (An organ starts to play.) Mm, that's my cue. Leo: Okay, wait, stop, I can't let you do this. (Jessica/Paige orbs out and orbs back in behind him.) Should've seen that coming. [Cut to the aisle. Glen is standing at the end of the aisle dressed in a suit, with the Priest beside him. Jessica/Paige starts walking down the aisle. Leo runs after her.] Leo: Paige, Paige. (He stumbles over her dress.) Paige. Jessica/Paige: Watch my train. Leo: Listen to me, you are under a hex. The witch doctor's done this to all of you. Glen: Hey, hey. Leo: Look, you can fight a hex. You just have to reach deep down... Glen: What's your problem, Leo? Get outta here. Leo: Look, I'm sorry, Glen, but this-this isn't what you think it is. Glen: Oh, no? So this isn't Paige's, uh, brother-in-law trying to ruin my wedding? Jessica/Paige: That's what it looks like to me. Leo: Paige. Glen: Did you just call her Paige? Leo: Look, Glen, you know about this family. You know what sort of wacky things can happen. Can we just go somewhere and talk? Jessica/Paige: No. Sweetie, I'll handle this, okay? Go back to your position. Please. I'll be right there. (He does so.) Leo: Paige. Where's Jessica? Jessica/Paige: Hell if I know. Leo: What does that mean? What did you do to her? Paige, you better not have hurt an innocent. Jessica/Paige: Well, she's not that innocent. After all, she tried to steal Glen away from me, didn't she? (Jessica continues to walk down the aisle. Leo runs out of the church.) [Scene: Outside The Daily. Spencer Ricks is there. He walks past a beautiful blonde woman and turns to check her out. Phoebe walks over to him.] Phoebe: Well, at least you practice what you preach. Spencer Ricks, right? Spencer: That's right. You a fan? Got a pen? Phoebe: No, actually, I'm your competition. But instead of stooping to your level, I decided to come and confront you personally. Spencer: That's right. Pheeble Halliwell as I live and breathe. Your billboards don't do you justice. You have a nice rack. You ought to show it off a little bit more. Phoebe: You know, I don't mind losing readers to a legitimate writer. But some misogynistic pig that's a fraud. Spencer: Ow, ow, that hurts. I'm not a fraud. I mean what I write. Phoebe: Oh, do you? Spencer: If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, baby. Oh, wait, that's a woman's place, isn't it? So then you wouldn't have anywhere to go, would you? (He turns his back and starts to walk away. Phoebe gets the potion out of her bag.) Phoebe: You know what? You're a turkey! And turkeys don't write columns. (She throws the potion at Spencer and he turns into a turkey.) But they do make delicious dinners. [Scene: Manor. Parlor. The couches are covered in plastic. Leo walks down the stairs.] Leo: Piper? Where are you? (He walks into the living room. There is cleaning equipment everywhere.) What the? What? Piper? (He hears a noise and goes outside. He sees Piper standing on a ladder which is leaning up against the house.) Piper, what are you doing? Piper: Heads up! (She throws a roof tile on the ground.) I'm replacing this roof. It's filthy! I told you this place was a wreck. Leo: Look, Piper, I need you to help me find Paige. Piper: I'm not talking to her until she cleans up her room. Leo: But it's about Glen's fianc . I think she's done something to her, something terrible. (Piper comes down the ladder.) I need you to help me find her. Piper: Busy. Leo: Piper, you need to snap out of it. Okay, this isn't about you guys anymore, it's about an innocent and if she dies... (They hear a turkey gobble and look to see Phoebe getting out of her car carrying the turkey.) Phoebe: A little help here. Piper: What are you doing with that thing? Phoebe: Well, first I'm gonna kill it and then I'm gonna stuff it. Piper: You are not bringing that filthy fowl in the house. Phoebe: Yes, I am. Thanksgiving's early this year. Piper: Do not get any blood in that kitchen. (Phoebe goes inside.) Leo: Phoebe, can I talk to you a minute? (He starts to follow her in and steps in a muddy puddle. Piper blows him up. Leo orbs back in.) What'd you do that for? Piper: Like hell you are bringing those muddy shoes in my house. Leo: Like hell. Paige said like hell. Jessica. (He orbs out. Piper looks up at the roof.) Piper: This is taking far too long. [Scene: A rocky ledge above a fiery pit. Jessica is sitting there scared out of her mind. Leo orbs in. She screams and panics.] Jessica: Please don't! Please don't. Please don't. Leo: It's okay, I'm here to help you. Jessica: I don't know how this happened. I don't know who you are. Leo: There's no time to explain everything, just know that I'm here to save you. It's okay, you can trust me. (She takes his hand and they orb out.) [Cut to the church.] Glen: I promise to love you, trust you and honour you with all my heart, Jessica, forever. Priest: Jessica. (Leo and the real Jessica runs in.) Leo: Wait, stop the wedding. Jessica: Glen. (She goes over to him.) Glen: What the hell? Leo: They're twins and he was gonna marry the wrong one. Priest: Oh. Leo: Maybe we could just give them a minute. Priest: Sure. Right. (The priest walks away, confused.) Glen: Paige? (Jessica/Paige morphs into Paige.) But why? (Paige's eyes glow and the hex is removed.) Paige: Glen, I can explain. (to Leo) What have I done? Leo: There's no time. We need to get home and save your sisters before they destroy themselves. (Leo and Paige orb out.) [Cut to outside the manor. Piper is there sweeping the footpath. Leo and Paige orb in. Paige notices she's still holding the bunch of flowers and throws them into the bush.] Leo: Piper, I brought Paige so she can help you. Piper: Oh, that's okay. I don't need any help anymore, it's already done. Except for the sweeping. Leo: What do you mean? Paige: I think I know. (They look up to the house but it's gone. Only a cement slab remains.) Piper, what'd you do with the house? Piper: Well, I thought it would be better to start from scratch. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The footpath. Piper continues to sweep.] Paige: Piper, you can't just vanquish an entire house. Especially not our house. People are gonna notice. Piper: Oh, I didn't vanquish it, silly, I cast a vanishing spell. It's like a good dusting, only better. But I am gonna have to do something about these steps. Paige: (to Leo) Okay, you've gotta figure out a way to fix it, like you fixed me. Get her out of this hex. Leo: But it's individual. You seeing Glen distraught over Jessica is what shocked you out of the hex. Paige: Okay, well, you need to figure out a way to shock her out of it. Leo: I think I know a way. Piper. Piper: Mm? Leo: Where's Phoebe? Piper: Phoebe? How should I know? Leo: Remember she came into the house with a turkey? Paige: Turkey? Leo: Piper, when you made the house disappear, you also made Phoebe disappear. Piper: No, she didn't... Leo: Yeah. Piper: No! I wouldn't. (Her eyes glow and she runs up the stairs. Paige and Leo follow. They walk into the space where the house once was.) Phoebe! Oh my god, what have I done? Leo: The spell, Piper, you need to reverse it fast. Piper: I'm not sure I can. Paige: Well, then you better make us disappear because this one's gonna be tough to explain. Leo: You can do it, Piper, come on. Piper: Uh, uh. "Let the object of objection return so its existence may be reaffirmed." (The walls and roof magically appear and the house is visible again.) Paige: Nicely done. Piper: Is that a wedding dress? Paige: You just noticed? (They hear a turkey gobble in the kitchen.) Leo: Phoebe. [Cut to the kitchen. Phoebe has the turkey on the table and is about to chop its head off with a butcher's knife. Leo runs in and grabs her arm.] Leo: Don't! (The turkey jumps off the table.) Phoebe: Let go of me! I have to kill Spencer! Paige: You named the turkey Spencer? Piper: That's no turkey. I think that's Spencer Ricks. Leo: The other advice columnist? Piper: Well, she said she was gonna kill the competition. Paige: Okay, we gotta break the hex. Leo: Any ideas how? Piper: Yeah, actually. Take her to the attic and keep her away from that turkey. Phoebe: Yeah, take me to the turkey. (Leo orbs out with Phoebe.) Piper: We're gonna pay a little house call to that Witch Doctor. [Cut to the Witch Doctors' Lodge. The Witch Doctor and the Head Witch Doctor are there.] Head Witch Doctor: Success. Witch Doctor: It's only a matter of time before they destroy themselves. Paige: Talk about premature jubilation. You gentlemen might wanna see a doctor about that. Witch Doctor: How did you get here? Piper: With the powers you apparently didn't want us to have. Good powers, by the way. Very good. Paige: Powers we might have to use against you. (Piper goes to blow them up.) Head Witch Doctor: Wait, don't! If you were truly good, we're on the same side. We felt you couldn't handle all of the evil spirits you attract. Piper: Well, we attract them for a reason, doc. So that we can get rid of them. You get rid of us, you'll have more problems than solutions, trust me. Paige: See, we might be slightly off, but we're off in a good way. Piper: Now you're gonna reverse the hex on our other sister, or it will be your last. [Cut to the manor. Attic. Phoebe is walking towards Leo holding the butcher's knife.] Leo: Phoebe. Phoebe. Piper! (Phoebe's eyes glow and the hex is removed. She notices the butcher's knife.) Phoebe: Oh, dear. Leo: Phoebe, is that you? Are you back? Phoebe: Yeah. What's going on? Leo: I just, I think you have some issues, competitive issues. Phoebe: I don't understand. (She hears the turkey gobble.) Oh, no. Spencer Ricks? [Scene: Manor. Paige's room. Paige looks at a photo of her and Glen. She then paces around the room.] [Scene: Park. Glen is there in front of the lake. Jessica walks up to him.] Jessica: Hi. Glen: Hi. You said you wanted to talk? Jessica: No, I, got the message that you wanted to. (Paige arrives.) Paige: Actually, I sent the message. I didn't think you guys would come if you knew I wanted to meet you. Jessica: Look, I'm outta here. Paige: Please just stay and hear me out. Look, I know what I did was awful. In my defence I was under a spell. I know magic and all this is a lot to swallow, Jessica, and I don't blame you guys if you never trust me. Glen: It's not that we don't trust you. Jessica: I don't trust her. Paige: Fair enough. But I will say this. The spell broke because I hurt you and I hurt you because I hurt Jessica. It's pretty obvious that you love her and she loves you. You guys are meant to be together, I get that now, I do. And I know that we're just meant to be friends. (Paige walks away. Glen and Jessica hug.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: P3. Leo is there wiping down the bar. He knocks a bowl of peanuts onto the floor. Piper and Paige approach the bar.] Piper: Oh, oh, that's alright, we'll clean it up later. Paige: Uh, are you feeling okay? Piper: Very funny. Leo: You're kidding me. That's not killing you just leaving a mess there? Piper: No, not at all. Okay, maybe a little, but not a lot. Look, if there's anything I've learned from all this, it's that I've gotta learn to deal with messes. Especially with a baby coming, 'cause I hear they come with a lot of messes. Paige: I've heard some things about that too. Leo: Well, that's good that something positive came from the Witch Doctor. (Phoebe walks up to them carrying a magazine.) Phoebe: Yo-hoo! Hi. Piper: Hey, Pheebs, what's cooking? Phoebe: Oh, if you're talking about Spencer Ricks, not him. I turned him back into the pig that he was and unfortunately he won't remember any of it. Leo: Glad to see you're not competitive anymore. Phoebe: Yeah, no, I don't think I have to worry anymore about him taking my readers. Paige: And why would that be? Phoebe: Well, because, uh... (She shows them the cover of the magazine which has Phoebe on the cover.) Paige: Whoa. (Paige takes the book.) Piper: Oh no. Phoebe: Oh, yes. Piper: Why ask Phoebe when you can see her. Phoebe: Talk about journalistic ethics, right? (Paige flips through the book and unfolds another picture of Phoebe.) Piper: Oh! (Phoebe giggles.) Paige: No retouching. Good times. Piper: Yes. Phoebe: Okay, give me that. Paige: No. (Paige gives the book to Leo.) Piper: Run. Paige: Run. (Leo takes off.) Phoebe: Leo! (Phoebe runs off after Leo.) Leo!

When residue left from demonic vanquishes builds up in the manor, the sisters lose sleep and it takes over their lives. They call upon the Witch Doctor, whom Leo does not trust. The Witch Doctor makes a house call to the Charmed Ones but because of the massive amount of demonic energy he believes they are evil. It turns out that Leo was right not to trust him, as he tries to kill the sisters by using voodoo dolls to make them obsess and lead them down various paths of destruction. Piper becomes obsessed with cleaning, Paige becomes obsessed with marrying her ex-boyfriend Glen, and Phoebe becomes obsessed with eliminating her work rivals.

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[INT. SCOTT REDISENCE - BATHROOM - DAY] (There's a green towel wrapped around Lucas' waist and he's wearing a white t-shirt. He's standing in front of a steamed up mirror and looking down into the sink basin.) LUCAS: (v.o) Octavio Paz once wrote; Solitude is the profoundest fact of the human condition... (He wipes the steam off the mirror with a hand. He studies himself.) man is the only being who knows he is alone. (Lucas continues to look at himself. His hair's grown. He turns to exit. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - KITCHEN - DAY] (Shot of the table with breakfast on it. Dan is standing and reading the paper. Lucas walks in, rubbing his eyes.) DAN: (Folds the paper and puts it away.) You know, if Bogans keeps drilling threes, the Cats will be tough to beat. How'd you sleep? LUCAS: Fine. DAN: Great, grab a plate. LUCAS: Ah, actually, uh... (Points back.) I usually grab something on the way to school. DAN: Come on, sit. We're civilised here. (Smiles and raises his mug to drink.) (The door opens.) DEB: (Still outside. Lucas looks back.) Dan? (She walks in.) I'm home. DAN: We're in the kitchen, Deb. (Deb sees Lucas as she walks in.) DEB: Oh,... Lucas. LUCAS: (Looking down.) Hey. (Deb is extremely confused.) DEB: Uh,... where-where's Nathan? DAN: Nathan's not here, Deb. Lucas is gonna be staying with us for a while. DEB: Wh-what?(!) (Lucas glares at Dan.) LUCAS: You didn't tell her. DAN: (Smirking) You better get to school. (Lucas scoffs and turns to leave.) (They wait until he's gone before speaking.) DAN: Nice work, Deb. That should make him feel right at home. (Drinks from the mug.) DEB: This isn't him home, Dan. (Walks into the kitchen so she can drop her bags.) What were you thinking? I'm gone three days and you invite Lucas to stay in our son's room without asking me?(!) DAN: Hey, Lucas is my son too, Deb. And before you start getting upset, there is some good news. DEB: Like what, Keith's moved into the guest room? DAN: (Pleased) Haley left Nathan. DEB: (Pause) When?(!) DAN: A few days ago. Its happening, Deb. Just like we hoped it would. DEB: Well, how is he? He must be devastated. DAN: Well, ask him yourself. When he moves back in. DEB: (Daring to hope.) He's moving back in? He said that? DAN: Not yet, but trust me,... it's just a matter of time. (Smiles widely as he drinks.) (Deb tries to hide her delight but it's not working too well.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL - PARKING LOT - DAY] (Brooke and Peyton walk toward the school.) BROOKE: OK, I still can not believe Haley left Nathan for Chris. PEYTON: She didn't, OK? She left for herself. The tour is an amazing opportunity. BROOKE: Yeah, to screw up her marriage. PEYTON: OK, just because she is married does not mean she has to give up her dreams. OK? She's really, really talented. BROOKE: I know she is and that's great but you don't think Chris has anything to do with this? PEYTON: (With certainty.) No, I don't. She is not into him. She told me. BROOKE: OK, let's think about what Nathan was when Haley met him; (Ticks it off her fingers.) good looking, rude, sexy, arrogant and talented. PEYTON: OK, right, like Chris. BROOKE: Yeah, and then Haley changed Nathan, for the better, but I'm thinking maybe she misses that challenge. PEYTON: You really think she changed Nathan? BROOKE: Yeah(!) I mean, before Haley, Nathan was, like, the 'bad-boy of Tree Hill'... and now he's just... (Frowns) 'Pod Nathan'. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. NATHAN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY] (Nathan sits on the couch playing on his Playstation. He hasn't shaved, the place is a pigsty and Nathan's clothes don't look very clean. He's barely moving at all. The camera zooms in on him. His hair is lying flat for a change.) (Nathan's playing NBA Shootout.) (The doorbell rings and Nathan looks back. He stops that game and stands to answer the door with a sigh. Lucas stands there, leaning on the doorjamb - his favourite position.) LUCAS: (Gives him a once-over.) ...Dude,... you look like @#%$. NATHAN: You should smell me. (Laughs a little.) LUCAS: Um... you know, I haven't seen you around school lately. You mind if I come in? NATHAN: Actually, Um... now's not really a-a good... good time. (Looks up at him with a frown.) (Lucas nods and looks around the apartment.) LUCAS: You know, man, I... I'm really missing Haley. She aint even bothered to call me. (Nathan glares at him.) It must be harder for you. NATHAN: Yeah, it's twelve weeks. I'll be fine. We'll, uh... we'll work it out when she gets back. LUCAS: (Nods) I'm just concerned, man. NATHAN: ...Yeah, well don't be. (Shuts the door right in his face.) (Lucas looks at the door before walking away.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL - LOCKER - DAY] (Jakes locker opens and he takes things out of his bag. Peyton walks up behind him.) PEYTON: So, you left early this morning. JAKE: (Turns to look at her.) Yeah, well I had to drop off Jenny at my mom's and then... stop by the caf , talk to Karen. What's going on? PEYTON: Well, um... Ted Leo is doing an in-store-run rally tonight; do you wanna go? JAKE: (Regretfully) I can't. PEYTON: Come on, it's gonna be fun. JAKE: Yeah, well, fun's not really an option these days. I mean, other than Jenny; school, finding a job, there's not really room for anything else. PEYTON: (Sadly) Yeah. (Nods) Sure. I understand, it's cool. (She nods and he turns and closes his locker.) (Peyton looks down as Jake walks away. She doesn't move. Jake stops and looks back.) JAKE: You coming? (Peyton smiles awkwardly, nods, and walks to him. They walk off-screen together.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - DAY] (Brooke walks down the corridor. She is not smiling.) ERICA MARSH: (Sticking a CD in her face.) Campaign CD? BROOKE: No, I'm more of an MP3 girl(!) (Brooke rolls her eyes and walks away. The camera follows Erica. Whitey comes into the shot, looking down at some pages.) ERICA MARSH: Coach Durham! (Whitey looks up.) I was wondering if the election week schedules were out yet. WHITEY: (Smiling) Yeah, hot of the press. (Hands her a schedule.) ERICA MARSH: (Taking it.) Thanks(!) (Looks at it.) Oh, if you want, I could give Brooke Davis hers next period. We have Health together. WHITEY: Well, that's nice of you, Erica. (Gives her Brooke's.) I was afraid you girls'd be pulling each others pigtails by this time. (Whitey laughs as he walks past and Erica laughs forcedly.) (She turns to his retreating back and her smile falls. She folds Brooke's schedule up and puts it into her bag. With a last backward glance, she walks away, still handing out her CD.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - DAY] (Brooke and Peyton bump into each other at the door.) BROOKE: Oh, (Takes Peyton's arm and they walk.) I know I've been a little busy with the election but how could you hold out on me like this? PEYTON: What? BROOKE: Don't play dumb with me, blondie. You've been playing house with Jake Jagielski- PEYTON: Oh. BROOKE: -and you weren't gonna tell me? PEYTON: (Dismissively) That, that's nothing. BROOKE: Oh! I would say that living in a house together, with a baby, is definitely something. (Peyton laughs nervously.) BROOKE: Next thing I know, you're gonna tell me you two have been sharing a bed. (Peyton stays silent, eyes open and trying to avoid Brooke's eyes.) BROOKE: (Shocked) P. Sawyer! (Peyton smiles to herself.) (Brooke almost attacks a young student.) BROOKE: (Gasps) Hey, Freshman, hang these up for me, (Tosses her posters at him.) thanks. (She takes Peyton's arm again.) BROOKE: OK, gimme details. (Peyton laughs.) PEYTON: Sadly, there aren't any. Jake's made very clear that he doesn't have time for anything detaily. (Brooke refuses to accept that and shakes her head.) BROOKE: OK, no, forget what he says because I have seen the way that that boy look at you(!) PEYTON: (Puts her arms around Brooke's shoulders.) OK, don't you have Health class? BROOKE: I think I'm healthy enough(!) I have watched you mope over this guy for weeks; now you have him... in your bed. (Looks at her curiously.) PEYTON: So? BROOKE: So take a chance. (Peyton gapes and sighs as they walk off-screen. The bell rings) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL - SCIENCE CLASS - DAY] (Lucas is sitting in his chair, looking down.) TEACHER: OK, so we're gonna pick up where we left off, discussing the process of mitosis. (She walks to the front of the classroom and Nathan's standing in the doorway.) The- (She stops when she sees him. He walks to his chair.) TEACHER: Well, Mr Scott, long time no see. (Nathan looks at her, smirks and sits in his seat in front of Lucas.) TEACHER: OK, so as we discussed last time, mitosis is the process by which a single cell separates- (Her voice is drowned out as Lucas leans in to talk to Nathan.) LUCAS: (Quietly) It's about time you pulled yourself together. NATHAN: (Goes through his bag.) Whatever. I'm only here coz my Playstation broke(!) (Pulls out a can of malt liquor and puts it onto the desk.) (Lucas stretches forward and grabs at his shirt. Nathan pops the can open.) LUCAS: Hey, man, are you nuts?(!) (Girls near the front turn at the noise of the hissing can.) TEACHER: (o.s) Prophase. (Lucas looks at Nathan who takes a swig of his drink. Lucas looks up at the teacher, uneasily.) TEACHER: (o.s) Pro-metaphase, anaphase and t- (She stops as she sees Nathan. Some people giggle.) (She walks up to him, arms crossed.) TEACHER: OK, please tell me you are not drinking beer in my class(!) (Nathan looks down, into his bag.) NATHAN: Technically, it's malt liquor. TEACHER: Nathan! NATHAN: It's OK. (Smiles up at her, another can in his hand.) I bought enough to share. (He sets it down onto the desk of a Chinese guy with very thick glasses.) (The teacher stomps forward to grab the cans as Lucas covers his eyes.) TEACHER: (Taking the cans.) Come with me please(!) NATHAN: (Laughs and picks up his bag.) That's a nice skirt Miss. Ham. You know, I bet if more teachers dressed like sluts, attendance in this place would skyrocket. TEACHER: (Stiffly) Funny(!) Principle Turner's gonna love that one. (She turns around and walks out of the classroom. Nathan shrugs and follows her. Lucas watches them miserably.) FADE TO BLACK: COMMERCIAL SET: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - LUCAS' BEDROOM - EVENING] (Lucas is on the bed the phone to his ear, looking desperate.) LUCAS: Haley, it's me. (Pause) I don't know if you're even getting any of these messages but please call me. It's... Nathan. I'm worried about him. (He shakes his head. Not knowing what else to say, he shuts the phone.) (He sighs and looks at the screen.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SAWYER RESIDENCE - PEYTON'S BATHROOM - EVENING] JAKE: (o.s) Hey, Peyton, you ready? (Peyton is standing in front of the mirror, messing with her hair.) JAKE: (o.s) Let's go. (She continues to mess with her hair.) PEYTON: Yeah, just one second. JAKE: (o.s) (Amusedly) I just saw you, you look great. Come on. (Peyton stops messing with her hair and smiles delightedly. She looks at her reflection one last time before walking into her bedroom.) (Jake is sitting on her bed with Jenny. She's fussing and Jake is trying to calm her down. He looks up at Peyton. She watches the pair.) JAKE: (Frowning) She feel a little warm here. (Stands) (Peyton walks to them.) JAKE: You think she caught something? PEYTON: (Looks down at Jenny.) I don't know. (To Jenny.) Hey, come here. (Jake hands her over, still worried.) How you doing, girly-girl? (Peyton holds her up.) PEYTON: (Smiling) How you feeling? (Jenny throws up on Peyton's jacket and top - which is kinda difficult seeing as how Jenny was facing away. Peyton gapes down at her clothes.) PEYTON: OK, not good, I guess. (Jenny grabs at Peyton but Jake takes her back.) JAKE: Here. (Takes Jenny.) Here, here. PEYTON: You've got her. (Jenny starts to fuss again.) JAKE: Oh, it's OK. It's OK. Here... uh... (Holds up a baby wipe to Peyton.) you- (Peyton laughs and takes the wipe. Jake groans. Peyton wipes at her top.) JAKE: You go ahead. She can't go out like this. (Wipes Jenny's mouth.) PEYTON: (Still wiping the top.) Stop it, I will go with you. We'll take her to the doctor. JAKE: With what?(!) (Peyton looks at him.) I don't have health insurance. (He looks back down.) (Peyton looks before turning away and picking up a box on her desk.) PEYTON: You know what, um,... (She opens the box.) here. (She takes money out and walks to Jake.) PEYTON: It's the emergency money my dad left me. (Holds up the money.) JAKE: Peyton, I can't- PEYTON: Jake(!) Come on, what's a bigger emergency than a sick baby? (She smiles and waits for him to take it.) (Jake doesn't want to but he takes it.) JAKE: You're pretty great, you know that? PEYTON: Yeah, I have my moments. (Smiles) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KAREN'S CAF - COUNTER - DAY] (Andy sits at the counter, grading assignments. Lucas enters the caf . He looks around before approaching Andy.) LUCAS: Hey, Andy? (Andy looks up.) Uh... you seen my mom? (Andy looks to the back as Karen walks through, carrying a plate of washed glasses. She pauses briefly as she sees her son.) KAREN: (Continuing forward.) (With reservation.) Lucas. (Lucas watches her as she continues on her way. Andy, feeling uncomfortable, closes the assignments.) ANDY: (Closing his pen.) I think I'll grade these somewhere else. (Takes his things and leaves.) LUCAS: (Forcefully polite as he indicates the glasses.) You need help with those? KAREN: (Shakes her head.) Got em. (Looks up at him with hostility.) I didn't expect to see you today. (Pause) Sit down, have a drink. (Lucas smiles and leans over the counter. He's not sure what to say.) LUCAS: I just wanted to see how you were doing. KAREN: What does Dan have over you? LUCAS: (Sighs and looks away.) Mom- KAREN: It's gotta be something because I've gone over this a million times and there's... not other explanation... as to why you would choose to live with that snake. So, unless you wanna tell me... (Lucas tries to speak but he can't do that to her so he struggles but keeps quiet. Karen gives up.) KAREN: That's two bucks for the soda. (She turns and walks away. Lucas looks around, torn.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - FRONT DOOR - DAY] (The doorbell rings incessantly and Dan answers the door. Jules stands there, a wedding dress in one had and a livid expression on her face.) JULES: (Holding the bunched up dress up.) You wanna explain this?! DAN: (Snarkily) Looks like a wedding gown. JULES: No one asked you to pay for my dress! DAN: You know, most women woulda just sent a thank you note, but if you're gonna yell at me, at least come inside. (He steps aside and Jules stomps in while throwing glares at him.) (They walk into the living room and Jules turns to him.) JULES: I want you to stay away from our wedding! DAN: Speaking of your wedding, (Sighs) what exactly were you planning to do about guests? (Pause) I mean, considering this whole thing is just an elaborate ruse designed to bring down my brother. (Pause) I'm guessing that having your parents there might be a bit of a downer. (Pause) I could lend you mine but... nah(!) JULES: I love your brother, Dan. Why won't you just leave us alone?! DAN: (With an evil look.) Because Keith slept with Deb. (Pause) Besides, I didn't pay you to fall in love with him. JULES: You know what? (Throws the dress behind.) Screw it! I'll just tell him the truth. (She walks to the door.) (Dan walks further into the room.) DAN: Yeah, you could do that. Risky though. (She stops and turns to him.) Uh... Keith's no catch but I'm guessing even he'd have trouble dealing with this one. (Smirks) (There is a prolonged pause as Jules evaluates her position.) DAN: Hm. (Nods) You like chess, Jules? (Walks to the chess set.) Keith and I used to play all the time; until he got tired of losing. (He sits in front of the set.) There's a manoeuvre, it's called the Fork. (Picks up a piece.) Where you take one of your pieces and attack two of your opponents' pieces. (Smiles) Basically, forcing him to choose which way he wants to lose. (Jules, arms crossed, closes her eyes. She knows that she's stuck. There's nothing she can do but see this through.) DAN: Makes it fun coz you get to watch them squirm. Sorta like the situation you're in now. I mean, you could tell Keith about our arrangement, break his heart... which of course, was my plan all along. JULES: (Disgustedly) What is wrong with you? DAN: Or you could go through with the wedding,... put on the pretty dress,... and spend the rest of your married life, knowing I have the luxury of telling him anytime I want. Either way, in the end, I win(!) (Dan stares her down.) (Jules waits for a beat before turning, grabbing the dress and walking out, without looking at him.) DAN: (Looks at the chess set.) Checkmate. (Zoom in on Dan's evil face.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. NATHAN'S APARTMENT (STOCK) - DRIVEWAY - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. NATHAN'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - EVENING] (Shot focuses on Nathan's notice of suspension before panning to show him rummaging through the underwear drawer. He takes out the clothing he bought for Haley at the lingerie shop when Brooke organised their serial date last year. He looks at it and sighs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. NATHAN'S APARTMENT - SIDE - EVENING] (Lucas is walking around the side of Nathan's apartment, intent on visiting his brother in his time of need.) DAN: Lucas? (Deb and Dan emerge from the back. Lucas turns to them.) DEB: (Walking faster.) We got a call from the principle. LUCAS: Yeah, I was just checking on him. Uh,... but since you guys are here. (Begins to leave.) DAN: Stay(!) You're his brother; you should be here for this. (Walks to the door of the apartment. Deb follows him after giving Lucas a brief smile.) (Lucas shakes his head slightly as Dan knocks.) (Nathan opens the door and looks at them all.) NATHAN: (Snarkily) Look who it is; the Scott family. DAN: Sorry, I thought my son lived here. Kinda looks like you, (Enters) only less pathetic(!) DEB: (Trying to act like the caring mother.) We heard about Haley, honey. What happened? (She enters too.) NATHAN: (Stops and turns around with a frown.) Like you care(!) (Lucas moves behind him.) (The door slams closed.) DEB: We do care, Nathan... all of us. NATHAN: Right, mom, and you just showered Haley with hugs, didn't you? (Deb looks away.) Well I hate to disappoint you guys but she'll be back in a few weeks. LUCAS: Look, Nate. NATHAN: You can shut up(!) By the way. DEB: How can you live like this, Nathan? This place is a pigsty(!) Eh, you're skipping school, you're drinking in class. DAN: (Playing the fatherly card badly and knowing it.) It's not worth it, son. Pissing your life away over some girl. NATHAN: (Offended) Some girl?(!) (Walks to hid father.) She's my wife, dad! DAN: (Smirking) Really? Well someone may wanna tell her that(!) (Nathan pulls back and punches his father hard in the face. Dan crouches in pain. Deb makes various sounds of distress and Lucas moves forward to stop Nathan.) LUCAS: Hey, come on! (Puts his hands out to separate them.) (Dan touches the blood that has appeared on the side of his mouth with equal parts interest and bemusement. He stands up straight and nods to his son.) DAN: Nice punch, son. It's good to see there's still a man in there somewhere. (Nathan sighs and leaves him own apartment. Lucas is caught in the middle of it all, not knowing what to do. He looks at Dan in exasperation.) FADE TO BLACK: COMMERCIAL SET: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. NATHAN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - EVENING] (Deb opens a pizza box and sees half of a pizza inside.) DEB: (To herself.) Oh, Nathan. (She sighs and puts it into a big, black, garbage bag. There's another one sitting by the door.) (She cleans up after him, picking up all the mess he's left behind. She picks up a picture of Nathan and Haley and looks at it before putting it in a picture frame of them at the beach on their wedding day.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL - ENTRANCE - DAY] (Her face is set as she walks past people, many of whom are sporting stickers that read 'I Slept With Brooke Davis But I'm Voting For ERICA MARSH'. Brooke walks forward to a guy in a letterman jacket - also wearing the sticker - and grabs him.) BROOKE: Come here! (Pushes him against the grate.) First of all; (Takes the sticker off.) No, you didn't, and second of all, (Waves it in his face.) where did you get it? GUY: It's a joke(!) BROOKE: (Puts a hand under his jacket and twists.) Spill! (He cries in pain and inclines his head to somebody behind her.) (Brooke turns her head and spots Erica. She rushes to Erica angrily.) BROOKE: ERICA! (Erica stops and turns.) BROOKE: (Stops in front of her.) Veeeery clever(!) ERICA MARSH: Thanks, cleverness does come in handy in politics. Unlike, say, cheerleading which is about, what, short skirts and who can make the bitchiest pyramid? (Smirks) BROOKE: (Scoffs) Oh, that is it. Tomorrow, you're going down(!) ERICA MARSH: (Mock worriedly.) Are you sure? Coz, from what I've heard, 'going down' is really more your style(!) (Erica pauses as Brooke stares. Erica walks off.) (Brooke screws up the sticker and walks the other way.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL - WHITEY'S OFFICE - DAY] (Jake enters Whitey's office with Jenny. He knocks on the door. Whitey looks up.) WHITEY: Oh, sorry. This is the athletic department. Mommy and me classes are around the corner at the 'Y'. (Walks to his desk and takes his glasses off.) JAKE: Good to see you too, coach. (Enters) WHITEY: Jagielski,... for someone who's eager to get back in school, you've got a funny way of showing it. JAKE: Oh, sorry. Jenny's been sick. I had to stay home with her. WHITEY: (Looks at Jenny with concern.) Sick, huh? Here, do you mind? (Takes Jenny off Jake.) (Jake frowns suspiciously.) JAKE: You know anything about babies, coach? WHITEY: Oh, I know more than they know bout me. (Looks at Jenny.) JAKE: (With a laugh.) Right, look, I know that you've done a lot to get me back in here but... any mistake I make with Jenny could just make it easier for a judge to give joint custody to Nikki. WHITEY: Mistake, huh? You mean like dropping out of school? JAKE: (Smiles) I know. (Evaluates and sighs.) You're right. WHITEY: Hell yes, I'm right. Now get your- (Stops as he looks at Jenny.) A-S-S back to class, I'll take care of little Miss. Jagielski here. (She starts to fuss.) Shush. JAKE: (Thinking for a moment.) OK. WHITEY: Go, get outta here. (Whitey turns to his desk again.) JAKE: Thanks. Thanks, coach. (Jake waves and leaves the office.) (Whitey lowers himself into his chair.) WHITEY: Well, I hope you didn't inherit your daddy's free-throw percentage. (Kisses her on the cheek.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SAWYER RESIDENCE - PEYTON'S BEDROOM - DAY] (Peyton is going through her records when Nathan enters. She looks at him.) PEYTON: Nathan(!) (Looks down.) Hey. (She puts the record back.) NATHAN: (Hollowly) You heard from her? PEYTON: (Shakes her head after a lengthy pause.) No. (Nathan walks into her room and sits on her bed. Peyton follows him and sits next to him.) PEYTON: I would have never booked that show if I'd known that Chris was gonna be there. NATHAN: (Shakes his head.) Not your fault. Haley's a big girl; nobody made her get on that bus. (Sighs) Except for, maybe me. (Peyton puts her hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him, but he stands. Peyton looks away.) NATHAN: So, uh,... you and Jagielski. (Peyton raises her eyebrows.) What's the deal? You two, uh,... you together? (Peyton's uncomfortable discussing the topic with her ex-boyfriend.) PEYTON: (With a strained smile.) No. W-we're just... (Frowns) I don't really know what we are. (Nathan looks at her and picks up Jake's shirt.) NATHAN: Looks, uh,... looks pretty serious to me. PEYTON: (Shakes her head.) Not really. I don't... think there's a possibility for me and Jake for... a lot of reasons. NATHAN: (Nods) Yeah, trust me; you're better off anyway. Love sucks. PEYTON: Nathan. NATHAN: No, think about it; Dan and Karen,... you and Lucas,... (Peyton looks away.) me and Haley. (He sighs and looks at the drawing of the traffic lights she did last year. The caption above reads; 'PEOPLE ALWAYS LEAVE'.) NATHAN: You got it right, Peyton. People always leave. (He leaves the bedroom. Peyton stares, open-mouthed, unsure of what to do. She contemplates and looks at Jake's shirt.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - LUCAS' BEDROOM - EVENING] (Lucas is lying in bed, awake. A car horn beeps outside, repeatedly. Lucas looks to the side.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - FRONT DRIVE - EVENING] (Nathan's car is parked outside. Lucas walks out and finds Nathan, leaning against his car and waiting for him.) LUCAS: Hey. NATHAN: I just had to see it for myself. LUCAS: (Walking up to Nathan slowly.) See what? NATHAN: This, you, here. LUCAS: (Trying to explain.) Look, Nathan, it's complicated. NATHAN: You're a fraud, Lucas. There's nothing complicated about that. (Lucas nods.) LUCAS: Look, why don't you just come inside, man? NATHAN: Oh, so now you're going to invite me into my own house? LUCAS: (Trying to calm Nathan.) It's not like that. NATHAN: No, it is like that, Lucas. It's exactly like that! (Pause) You realise I wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't for you? (Lucas looks at him sadly.) If you would have stayed in your place at the Rivercourt, I would have never met Haley. (Lucas knows he doesn't mean it.) ...You ruined my life, man. LUCAS: Nathan(!) NATHAN: You better watch your back. (Gets into his car and drives away as Deb comes out of the house.) DEB: (A little way from Lucas.) What did he want? (Lucas watches the road for a while before turning to his stepmother.) LUCAS: Haley. (They exchange saddened looks. Deb walks back into the house as Lucas turns back to where Nathan drove off.) FADE TO BLACK: [SCENE_BREAK] COMMERCIAL SET: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - DAY] (Brooke is handing out coupons for a free makeover if people vote for her. Girls are sitting in front of round mirrors with lights, putting on make-up and such.) BROOKE: (Handing out coupons.) Vote for Brooke! Get a make-over. Let's put a whole new face on Tree Hill High, people. (She smiles and continues walking.) BROOKE: (To a random student.) Here you go. (Holds out a coupon.) (She smiles until she comes upon one of her cheerleaders.) BROOKE: Damnit, Bevin! (Bevin is talking to Erica who leaves quickly. Bevin looks at Brooke guiltily.) BROOKE: (Watches Erica walk off.) What was that? Did Erica just convince you to vote for her?(!) BEVIN: No, but... she made some good points. BROOKE: (Hurt) Bevin(!) BEVIN: She said that if you were elected president, that you wouldn't have time for the cheerleading squad and you are... like the best captain ever(!) BROOKE: (Smiling) So? BEVIN: Brooke, the cheerleading squad needs you; so much more than America does. BROOKE: (Frowning sympathetically.) Bevin, you realise I'm not running for president of the United States, right? (Bevin straightens and walks away, clearly confused.) (Brooke gapes at her, shaking her head. Lucas walks up to her.) LUCAS: (Indicating Brooke's campaign.) Wow, make-over... booth looks very popular. BROOKE: Yeah, but it doesn't matter because Erica is so much better at the dirty politicking than I am. LUCAS: Oh, come on, you can get dirty. BROOKE: (Shoving him playfully.) Lucas! LUCAS: (Laughs) Don't worry. (Brooke crosses her arms.) You'll be great. BROOKE: How do you know? LUCAS: (Shrugs) Ah, it's just a feeling. (Lucas watches him as he leaves. Whitey walks up at the back of the shot and stops just before entering his office so he can talk to Brooke.) WHITEY: Time to wrap up the beauty-bar Miss. Davis. (Brooke turns to him.) The Peer Endorsement Assembly starts in ten minutes. (Brooke smiles.) BROOKE: (Nodding) Will do, coach. (She stops him as he turns to enter his office.) BROOKE: Wait! (Whitey stops.) The what? WHITEY: Peer Endorsement. You know, where you introduce somebody who, uh, speaks on your behalf. (Off Brooke's bewildered expression.) Oh, you didn't forget, did you? (Annoyed) It was in the schedule that Erica gave you! (Enters his office.) (Brooke watches Erica trying to get a vote out of a guy in a wheelchair, completely flirting with him.) ERICA MARSH: You're gonna vote for me, right? (Guy nods.) OK. (She helps him with his books.) That is so- BROOKE: (Fuming) Oh, it was, was it?(!) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAN SCOTT MOTORS - ENTRANCE - DAY] (Andy walks into the dealership, set look in place. He's wearing a suit and walks past a cardboard cut-out of Dan. He sees Dan in his office and walks to the door of it. Dan turns his head to look at him.) DAN: (Flipping through papers.) It's Andy, isn't it? (Andy is so completely dwarfed by Dan and it's obvious. Andy is out of his league.) ANDY: (No smile visible.) That's right. DAN: What can I do for ya? ANDY: Well, it's a little awkward, actually. (Sighs) Kind of a favour, I guess you'd call it. DAN: (Smiles and puts his papers down.) OK. (Shrugs) ANDY: Let Lucas go(!) It's the right thing to do. And it needs to happen... now(!) (Dan doesn't know how to respond and smirks.) DAN: (Walking forward.) You got some balls, kid. (Grins widely.) But this is none of your concern. ANDY: Was none of my concern, until you hurt the woman I love. DAN: Oh,... it's love is it? ANDY: (Nods) That's right. DAN: Well, congratulations. (Eyes the door.) Now get outta my dealership. ANDY: Well, just so you know, mate, (Pause) I do tend to get what I want. (Dan walks right up to him, clearly showing their height difference.) DAN: Is that so? ANDY: (Nods) Yeah. It's the strangest thing; it just seems to happen that way. DAN: (Raises his eyebrows.) Hmm. (Nods once.) (Andy smirks and leaves. Dan suddenly doesn't look so confident. He turns away slowly.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL - PEER ENDORSEMENT ASSEMBLY - DAY] (Erica stands up on stage, behind a podium, with the principle speaking on her behalf. A huge banner for council is hung behind them. A lot of students are sitting in chairs, listening to the speech. Many are holding signs.) PRINCIPLE TURNER: (Into the mic.) It was a thrill to be asked by Erica to be her peer advocate. (Erica smiles widely.) Because, in addition to being her principle,... I also consider myself her friend. (Camera pans to Brooke standing way behind.) PRINCIPLE TURNER: Now, of course there's a considerable age difference between us- BROOKE: That little @#%$(!) Double-crosses me and gets the principle to be her peer advocate(!) (Claps her hands and turns.) Great(!) PRINCIPLE TURNER: (o.s) -But in addition to being my friend, Erica is also a great friend to Tree Hill High. From organising food drives to raising money so- (Brooke smiles as she spots a guy working behind the curtain. The camera travels up.) PRINCIPLE TURNER: (o.s) -our folk dancing team could travel to the regional finals- BROOKE: (To the guys behind-the-scenes.) Hi. (He looks at her.) I'm gonna need you to do me a... little favour. (Cut back to the stage.) PRINCIPLE TURNER: And that's why I encourage you to vote for this marvellous young lady... who wasn't afraid to say; (With a cheesy smile.) hey world, get a load of me. (Lucas and Mouth sit and listen.) PRINCIPLE TURNER: I'm proud to endorse, your president, Erica Marsh. (Steps back and claps. A lot of claps are heard. Erica's smile hasn't left her face at all.) (Erica hugs the principle and people in the crowd hold up their signs. Lucas and Mouth clap politely.) WHITEY: Thank you, principle Turner. (Whitey steps up to the podium as Erica and the principle step away.) Now,... to introduce her peer advocate; here is candidate, Brooke Davis. (Whitey turns and waits for Brooke to step up. Brooke walks forward, waving with one hand while the other is behind her back. Bevin is in the crowd, clapping. Brooke steps in front of the podium, fake smile in place.) BROKE: Hi. Due to an... unforeseen circumstance, (Looks accusingly at Erica. Erica smirks cattily at her.) I arrived today without anyone to speak for me. (Smiles) But,... luckily, I had a volunteer, backstage(!) (Looks at Erica again.) And that person... (Brings her other hand forward to show a sock on her hand with a face drawn on it.) is Erica; the backstabbing sock puppet(!) (Smiles some more.) (The audience laugh sparsely. Whitey and the principle exchange looks. Whitey shrugs and Erica frowns, a little pale.) BROOKE: (Imitating Erica.) Hi, I'm Erica(!) I sure do stiiiink(!) And did you know that I have to cheat to win my elections, too? (Erica looks at the principle.) BROOKE: (Gasping as she addresses the puppet.) Oh, really? (The audience laugh more; Mouth and Lucas don't.) (Whitey walks up.) WHITEY: (Covers the mic.) I appreciate the attempt, hun, but you've got to have an actual person. BROOKE: (Hissing) I know that but I don't, because of Erica(!) MOUTH: (Standing up and walking forward.) I'll speak for her. (The crowd murmurs and Whitey turns to Mouth. Erica and the principle look around. Whitey asks Brooke, silently, if it's OK. Brooke doesn't know what to do; he smashed her window after all.) (Whitey and Brooke walk to the side.) RANDOM GUY: (From the crowd.) Do your thing, Mouth! (Lucas listens, curiously. Mouth steps up behind the podium. Brooke shoves the sock in Erica's face before dropping it.) MOUTH: (Sighs) We just heard principle Turner read a list of Erica's accomplishments. I could try to do that for Brooke but it would be kind of a short speech. (There are a few scattered laughs and Brooke eyes Mouth. He looks at her before turning back.) MOUTH: As you know, Brooke's probably one of the most popular people in school. Something I'm definitely not... and yet, she's my friend. (Brooke watches him.) She never cared what clique I was part of, the kinds of clothes I wore or... the fact that I have to ride the bus. (Brooke smiles slowly.) MOUTH: She looked past that stuff. (Pause) And when you think about it, isn't that what we want in our president, someone who can see past the superficial differences and bring us together? (The camera slowly zooms in on Brooke.) (Pause) This year, Brooke's had her share of ups and downs... just like all of us. (Pause) But most of you never saw it, coz even when life got hard, Brooke never let it in. (Lucas ponders Mouth's words.) She was just... (Smiles and shrugs.) Brooke; tough, smart, one of a kind. (Brooke smiles tearfully, Erica looks at her.) MOUTH: And I don't know about you but those are things that I look for in a leader. (Nods and looks at Brooke.) Brooke Davis is my friend. (She smiles happily. He looks back at the crowd.) But that's not why I'm voting for her. I'm voting for her because of her heart... and her spirit... and because she's the best person for the job. (Mouth leans back from the mic. Whitey smiles delightedly and starts clapping. The crowd claps too and it's deafening. Lucas smiles as he joins in.) (Mouth turns to look at Brooke. She mouths 'thank you' to him. She looks around with a big smile before winking at Mouth. He nods.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - DAY] (Brooke is using a ladder to take down all of the campaign posters. She moves it from on side of the corridor to the other and climbs it. The school is deserted.) (Erica emerges from around the corner. Brooke pulls at a poster.) ERICA MARSH: (Walking forward.) You look pretty in that one. (Brooke pauses briefly and rolls her eyes.) BROOKE: Votes are in, Erica. You can stop bagging on me now. (Erica stops at the foot of the ladder behind Brooke.) ERICA MARSH: I mean it(!) You look pretty. (Brooke stops, holding her poster.) You always do. BROOKE: (Turns to her, almost.) Thanks. (Puts the poster on the ladder's platform.) What're you still doing here? ERICA MARSH: Just doing some work in the council office. (Brooke makes a face.) ERICA MARSH: Sometimes a job keeps you here late. (Erica laughs and Brooke rolls her eyes some more.) (Lengthy pause.) ERICA MARSH: Do you know why, every year, I have a faculty member speak on my behalf? BROOKE: Oh, I don't know, maybe because you're a hideous suck-up?(!) ERICA MARSH: Because I don't have any friends that would speak up for me like Mouth did for you today. (Brooke looks at her.) I mean, after all the great things he said, I almost voted for you. (Looks at her, eyebrow raised.) ERICA MARSH: (Scoffs) I didn't. BROOKE: Please, Erica, you know a ton of people, I'm sure there's someone. ERICA MARSH: Council president is who I am(!) It's all I am. (They look at each other.) ERICA MARSH: Anyway,... good luck tomorrow. (Smiles and turns.) BROOKE: (Uncertainly) Thanks(!) (Erica walks away. Brooke turns back, feeling slightly bad. She smiles a little.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SAWYER RESIDENCE - PEYTON'S BEDROOM - EVENING] (Jake lowers Jenny into her cot. She's sleeping. He puts a cover over her.) JAKE: (Quietly to Jenny.) Looks like someone's finally getting sleepy, huh? (He stands up straight and turns to Peyton. She's in bed, smiling. He takes his short off.) JAKE: I guess we should try to grab some sleep while we can, huh? (Looks back at his daughter.) PEYTON: (Shiftily) That's probably a good idea. (He starts to get into bed and Peyton panics.) PEYTON: You know what, I'm... gonna spend the night in my dad's room tonight. (Jake stands back, confused.) JAKE: Why tonight? (Peyton can't explain because it would be too much like forcing herself onto him.) PEYTON: (Mouth open.) ...Actually, from now on. (Looks away.) JAKE: What, is Jenny keeping you up? PEYTON: Yeah, it's... not that. I'm just... really tired. (The tension is blatant.) (She smiles stiffly.) JAKE: You know what, this isn't fair. We'll go to my parents' house, OK? PYETON: No, don't go. (Pause) Really, it's fine. Please stay. I... (She pauses for too long and Jake finally seems to be getting it.) PEYTON: ...I'll see you in the morning. (She grabs a pillow and leaves the room.) (Jake watches her. She closes the door. He looks back down at Jenny and sits at the end of the bed before looking back at the door again.) (A phone rings.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - LUCAS' BEDROOM - EVENING] (Lucas is sitting on his bed, reading a book, as his phone rings. He looks at it, sees who it is as he picks it up and practically throws the book aside. He answers.) LUCAS: Hey(!) What, you don't call for... three days and then when you do it's at (Quickly looks at his phone screen.) one in the morning? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CLUB - TOUR - EVENING] (Haley walks around while talking on the phone. There are people everywhere backstage.) HALEY: Oh, Luke, I'm sorry. I just finished my set. It's-it's crazy here, there's so much to tell you(!) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - LUCAS' BEDROOM - EVENING] LUCAS: Yeah, wanna start with why you left without saying goodbye? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CLUB - TOUR - EVENING] HALEY: Ah, yeah, I fell awful about that(!) Um... everything just happened so fast. (She pauses as her guilty look puts in another appearance.) ...How's Nathan? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - LUCAS' BEDROOM - EVENING] (Lucas sighs, shakes his head and sits up.) LUCAS: ...He misses his wife! [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CLUB - TOUR - EVENING] (Haley closes her eyes.) HALEY: Lucas, don't do this(!) LUCAS: (Through the phone.) Do what?! He needs you. HALEY: He said that we were done. LUCAS: (Through the phone.) He didn't want you to leave. He's- [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - LUCAS' BEDROOM - EVENING] LUCAS: He's so in love with you, Hales. (Shrugs) You gotta come back. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CLUB - TOUR - EVENING] (Haley doesn't say anything. A guy comes up behind her.) GUY: Haley, Michelle wants to see you in her dressing room. HALEY: (To the guy.) OK. (Pause) (To Lucas.) I gotta go. (Shrugs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - LUCAS' BEDROOM - EVENING] (Lucas glares.) HALEY: (Through the phone.) I'll, um... [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CLUB - TOUR - EVENING] HALEY: I'll call you later, OK? (Smiles but Lucas doesn't say anything. She hangs up, sighs, and turns away, walking off.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - LUCAS' BEDROOM - EVENING] (Lucas looks at his phone after Haley hangs up on him. He looks at it disbelievingly and shuts it, shaking his head. He sighs and puts his head in his hand.) FADE TO BLACK: COMMERCIAL SET: [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL (STOCK) - DAY] (Students walk around the school before first bell.) WHITEY: (Through the speaker.) Good morning Ravens,- [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - DAY] (Brooke walks the corridors with a smile until she hears Whitey.) WHITEY: (Through the speaker.) -The ballot has been counted; the results from yesterday's student council election are in. (Brooke stops walking and waits with a sickening feeling washing over her.) WHITEY: (Through the speaker.) In the race for council treasurer, the winner is Vaughn Leiberwich. (Brooke can't take it and exits the school so that she can hear the results outside, alone.) WHITEY: (Through the speaker.) Council secretary; Tina Stone. (Brooke walks to the speaker, shaking he hands nervously. She leans against the nearest pillar.) WHITEY: (Through the speaker.) Council vice president; Salmon Sakajahari. (Brooke waits, squinting.) WHITEY: (Through the speaker.) And finally, your new council president;... (Brooke closes her eyes.) Brooke Davis. (Brooke opens her eyes, lets it process, before yelling to herself happily. She does a funny little jig before righting herself.) BROOKE: Oh! Thank you! (Rushes back to the school's entrance.) (She opens the door slowly and a lot of clapping and cheering is heard as students congratulate her. She slaps people's hands as she walks past. She smiles ans looks around, delighted at the reception.) (She sees Bevin and hugs her.) (People chant Brooke's name. Erica stands there, sad that she's lost her position. She smiles at Brooke before turning away. Brooke feels bad but turns away and laughs some more.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL - PRESIDENT'S ROOM - DAY] (Erica is loading her things into a red box. Brooke enters the office which is decorated to look a lot like a real president's room.) BROOKE: Erica. (Erica looks back at her.) Hey. ERICA MARSH: I was just... packing up. (Laughs shakily.) (Erica puts a lid on her box.) ERICA MARSH: I'm sorry... about not giving you the campaign papers. I guess it worked out for you anyway, huh? BROOKE: I guess. (Pause) Listen, I've been thinking about what you said yesterday, how being the president is all that you have. ERICA MARSH: ...Yeah...? BROOKE: (Smiles) Well it turns out that I have some experience in that arena. (Pause) Trying to define yourself as just one thing. ERICA MARSH: (Shakes her head, not understanding.) What d'you mean? BROOKE: I was always the rich girl. You know, with the nice car and the expensive shoes and the fancy house with the pool. (Pause) So when my parents lost their money,... figured my identity would disappear with it. ERICA MARSH: (Smiling) You mean, you're not rich? BROOKE: Eighteen bucks at Bargain Mart; my heels are practically bleeding. (Laughs sullenly.) I'm just saying, high school is not over. You know, there's other things to look forward to. There's friends and guys. And... (Raises her eyebrows.) the guys. (Erica nods and turns away.) ERICA MARSH: (Smiling at her.) There's a proposal in the top drawer; wireless internet for the cafeteria. (Smiles) I think it'd be great. (Nods.) BROOKE: (Nods along, expression puzzled.) Thanks. (Erica takes her box and heads for the exit.) (Brooke turns to her.) BROOKE: To tell you the truth, (Erica looks back.) I'm totally intimidated by this job. ERICA MARSH: (Smiling kindly.) It's funny;... you're scared of what's in here, I'm scared of what's out there. (Erica smiles and leaves the room anxiously.) (Brooke stands in the office - the desk behind her and pictures all over the walls. She sighs and looks around.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ROE RESIDENCE - KAREN'S BEDROOM - DAY] (Karen and Andy are in bed.) ANDY: You thinking about Lucas? KAREN: What else? ANDY: I've been thinking about what I can do to help you. KAREN: That's sweet, Andy. (She's all but given up.) But I've looked at every angle... I'm gonna have to go through the courts. There's no other way. (Andy lies there, contemplating.) ANDY: Actually,... there is another way. (Karen looks at him but he doesn't elaborate.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SAWYER RESIDENCE - PEYTON'S BEDROOM - EVENING] (Jake is holding Jenny as Peyton enters her bedroom cautiously.) PEYTON: Hey(!) JAKE: (Looks up.) Sorry, the crying keeping you up? PEYTON: (Shakes her head.) No. (Walks into the room.) (Jakes puts Jenny down.) JAKE: (To Jenny.) It's OK. It's OK. (Jenny continues to cry.) (He straightens up and stands before Peyton.) JAKE: You know, um,... I wasn't entirely honest with you, before. PEYTON: (Studies him.) About what? JAKE: The reason I came back. PEYTON: You said you were tired of running. JAKE: ...Yeah, but... that's not the only reason. (Peyton waits, not replying.) See, the whole time that I was gone, I kept... thinking about all this stuff that I should have... done... when I had the chance, but didn't. PEYTON: (Expectantly) Well, like what kinda stuff? (Jenny still cries in the background.) JAKE: ...I don't know. (Peyton looks at him for a beat, hoping against hope with a gut wrenching look.) Mostly being with you. (Beat before he leans in and kisses her. She puts her hands on his neck and it seems to go on forever. Peyton pulls back after some time, a happy expression crossing her face and Jake gasps a little.) (Peyton looks down.) PEYTON: Wow. (Laughs) JAKE: (Slightly dazed.) Yeah(!) PEYTON: No. (Jake frowns, hurt.) (Explaining giddily.) No-yeah-I mean, that too, um... Jenny. (Jake looks at her.) (Peyton puts a hand in her hair.) She stopped crying. (Jake laughs. Camera pans to Jenny who's lying there, all adorable and laughing approvingly.) (Peyton laughs, as does Jake.) (There's another pause before they kiss again, just as long as the last, Peyton bites his lower lip.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. THE RIVERCOURT - DUSK] (Nathan is playing basketball by himself. Karen walks onto the court. Nathan runs to get his ball.) KAREN: Nathan(!) (Nathan walks to her slowly.) NATHAN: Ms. Roe. What're you doing here? (They stop about three meters apart.) KAREN: Looking for Lucas. NATHAN: Why would Lucas be here? He's got his own court in Dan Scott's driveway. (Karen looks away sadly. She didn't need to be reminded of that. She lowers herself onto the bleachers. Nathan waits before sitting down next to her, putting the ball on the floor between his legs.) NATHAN: (Sighs) Ms. Roe, I'm sorry my dad was such a dick to you. (Karen nods.) I haven't really thought about it much until lately. (Sighs) I know that it must have really hurt you. (Karen looks out desolately.) KAREN: (Almost whispering.) I got over it. (There's a long pause as they sit there, contemplating. Nathan looks so lost.) NATHAN: When Haley told me about the tour,... I got mad at her. (Karen looks at him, feeling her own and Nathan's pain.) I told her that if she left with Chris, (Shakes his head, almost crying.) it was over. (He looks down and sniffs.) NATHAN: (Looks at her.) I didn't really mean it. (Looks away.) She left anyway. (Karen puts her arm around his back.) KAREN: (Whispering) Nathan(!) (Rubs his back as he shakes his head.) NATHAN: She's not coming back. (Looks at Karen for guidance.) What am I gonna do? KAREN: (Rubs his back some more.) Nathan, (Pause) I-I know what it's like to have the person you love walk away. Trust me. (Nods) But I-I know Haley and she's a good person. (There are tears in the corner of her eyes.) She'll do the right thing. (Nathan nods, sniffing.) You just have to have a little faith. (Nathan looks down and nods again.) (The camera zooms out as Karen pulls him in to her and hugs him from the side. She rubs his shoulder and looks down at him.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DAN SCOTT MOTORS - ROAD - DAY] (Andy is sitting in his car as he talks on the phone.) ANDY: (Into the phone.) Bob? It's Andy. I've got a job for you. (Camera zooms out slowly to show the dealership. Andy looks at it.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - KITCHEN - DAY] (Lucas and Dan sit at the table, eating breakfast. Lucas reaches for his glass.) DAN: (About the book near Lucas' breakfast bowl.) 'Call of the Wild'. You know, I've had that since high school? LUCAS: I hope it's OK that I borrowed it(!) DAN: (Nods) Please, it's nice to have someone around who cares about literature. (Lucas smiles and looks down.) London's great; a man's author. LUCAS: (Smiles) Kill or be killed. DAN: It's the way of the world. LUCAS: You know,... if you ever need any help down at the dealership, I could... come by after school sometime. DAN: (Nods) Thanks, son. (Pause) I'd like that. (They smile and continue eating breakfast.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL - LOCKERS - DAY] (Mouth shuts his locker and Brooke is leaning against the one next to his, smiling.) BROOKE: Hey, Mouth. (Mouth smiles as he sees her.) MOUTH: Miss. President. BROOKE: (Giddily) I know, it does have a nice ring to it, doesn't it? (Mouth laughs.) BROOKE: But, you know what? (Shrugs) My friends just call me Brooke. (Mouth smiles happily and Brooke takes his arm. They walk down the corridor together, talking.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SAWYER RESIDENCE - PEYTON'S BEDROOM - DAY] (Peyton sits on her bed. Jenny's on her knee and they are playing with bricks. Peyton holds Jenny still as she shoves a corner into her mouth. Peyton looks up and Jake sits down on the bed on Jenny's other side.) (Peyton picks up a red brick and imitates eating it. Jenny reaches for it and giggles. Jake takes the brick and joins into the playtime. Jenny grabs the red brick and Peyton picks up a green one, laughing.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. NATHAN'S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - DAY] (Nathan walks into the kitchen from the bedroom. He's cleaned himself up and shaved. The apartment's clean. He spots something on the floor and walks over to pick it up. It's a brown envelope.) (He opens it and takes out one of Peyton's arts. It is of two hands, one on top of the other. One hand is a woman's and the other is a man's. They are both wearing wedding rings. The caption reads: 'Sometimes they come back'.) (Nathan studies it and the camera zooms in on the picture. He ponders for a while before putting it down and taking his phone out of his back pocket. He dials and holds it to his ear, sighing.) (The phone rings once before an answer machine picks up.) HALEY: (Recorded message.) Hi, this is Haley; I can't get to the phone right now. Leave a message and I will call you back. (Nathan closes his eyes dejectedly.) (A beep sounds as the credits roll, the signal for Nathan to talk.)

As his marriage with Haley continues to get worse, Nathan has an emotional crisis and reverts to his old ways. Karen continues to struggle, trying to figure out what would cause Lucas to move in with Dan. Peyton and Jake's relationship grows deeper. This episode is named after a song by Brand New .

fd_The_Vampire_Diaries_02x19

fd_The_Vampire_Diaries_02x19_0

[Salvatore's house] (Elena is waiting for Elijah to wake up. Suddenly he wakes up. Elena rushes over him. He's in choc when sees her.) Elijah: Katerina! England, 1492 [A House] (Trevor is speaking with a woman. He rejoins Elijah) Elijah: Ah, good evening, Trevor. I am pleased you could join us Trevor: I could not miss the birthday celebration Elijah: No, considering the gift you claim to bear. Where is this mystery girl of which you speak? Trevor: Right this way (Elijah follows him. They rejoin Katherine) Trevor: My dear Katherine: Hello (Elijah is in choc) Nowadays [Salvatore's house] Elena: Elijah! It's me, it's Elena Elijah: Oh, my God England, 1492 [A house] Elijah: Forgive me. You remind me of someone Trevor: Katerina, may I introduce the lord Elijah (She takes his hand and bows) Katherine: Pleasure, my lord Elijah: The pleasure's mine. Katerina (He kisses her hand) Nowadays [Salvatore's house] (He closes her eyes. Elena gets closer but his body writhes. He gets up) Elijah: I can't-- I can't breathe! What's happening to me? (He rushes over the door but stammers the door. She rushes over him and holds him) Elijah: I can't... I can't be in this house (She realizes something) Elena: You're not invited in Elijah: I can't be in here (He stammers another wall and disappears. Elena runs after him and goes to the front door. Elijah is outside. He tries to enter but he can't enter) Elijah: What happened? Elena: Shh! (She shows him that Stefan and Damon can hear and she whispers) Elena: I'll tell you. Not here. Can I trust you? (He whispers too) Elijah: Can I trust you? (She gives him the dagger. He takes it) [Salvatore's House] (Stefan is in his bedroom. He wakes up Elena's not here. He goes downstairs) Stefan: Elena! (Andie is here) Stefan: Hey Andie: Hey Stefan: Have you seen Elena? Andie: Uh, no (Damon rejoins her) Damon: Hi, sweetie. Oh, my coffee (He kisses her) Damon: Good morning Andie: Mm, good morning Stefan: Hey, where's Elena? Damon: I don't know, Stefan. It's your girlfriend. Mine's right here (He looks at Andie) Damon: Oh, and how's the shoulder? Got time for a bite? I'm so hungry Andie: Oh, it's really messy. Can you just use a blood bag today? (Stefan is on the phone and looks at them) Andie: I'm already late for work Damon: No! (He pouts. Stefan leaves a message to Elena) Stefan: Hey, it's me. Where are you? Call me (He hangs up. Damon and Andie are kissing) Stefan: What are you doing? She's not a wind-up toy (Andie looks at him) Andie: It's really none of your business, is it, Stefan? Damon: Yeah. What she said Andie: I have to go to work (She kisses him) Damon: Ugh! Bye (She leaves. Stefan sees that the basement door is open. He rushes over it. Damon follows him. Stefan arrives at the cellar and sees that Elijah's not here. Damon rejoins him) Damon: No, she didn't [Alaric's apartment] (Klaus/Alaric is at the door with Maddox. Katherine is making coffee) Maddox: I'll be back as soon as I can Klaus/Alaric: Yes, do hurry. I'm anxious to get out of this body. And if you get hung up, call me. You know how impatient I get (Maddox leaves. Klaus/Alaric closes the door) Katherine: Where is he going? Klaus/Alaric: To retrieve me. So I can get out of this bad hair-do Katherine: Are you sure that's a good idea, Klaus? Klaus/Alaric: Well, the full moon is almost upon us (He puts the moonstone on the table) Klaus/Alaric: I've killed the witch, I have the moon stone, and the doppelganger is waiting in the wings. Ohh, I am ready to break this curse Katherine: And why would you do that here? There's so many people that would try to stop you Klaus/Alaric: Because I have to. It's the birth place of the doppelganger Katherine: I didn't realize that was a requirement Klaus/Alaric: Well, how could you? You betrayed me and fled England before I could give you the details, Katerina. But I did find your birth place and I slaughtered your family. So I guess we're cool. Let's just hope that Elena isn't as stupid as you are Katherine: She won't run. She'll die before she lets anyone that she loves get hurt Klaus/Alaric: And that's exactly what I'm counting on (He compels her) Klaus/Alaric: You can't leave until I tell you to (He leaves) [Elena's car] (She parks her car. Elijah is next to her. He's drinking blood from a blood bag) Elena: You look better Elijah: Where did you get the dagger? Elena: I'll tell you everything. But we have to work together, Elijah. I need your word Elijah: Your ability to make demands has long passed Elena: No demands. I'm offering you my help. And in return, I want yours Elijah: And why should I even consider this? Elena: The same reason that you haven't killed me. You need my help to kill Klaus. And I need you (Her phone rings. She answers. It's Stefan) Stefan: Where are you? Are you ok? Elena: Yes, I'm fine Stefan: Where's Elijah? Elena: He's right here Stefan: Where? I'm on my way Elena: No, Stefan, Elijah and I need some time alone Stefan: Listen to me. He can't be trusted He'll use you to get to Klaus Elena: Elijah is a noble man, Stefan. He lives by a code of honor. I can trust him. He knows that I'd be incredibly stupid to betray him again. By removing the dagger, I have proven myself Stefan: You can't do this alone Elena: It's my decision, Stefan. Please respect it. And make sure that Damon doesn't do anything stupid. I'll be in touch (She hangs up. Elijah holds his hand out. Elena gives him her phone) [Salvatore's house] Damon: Did she just hang up on you? Stefan: She did Damon: She's lost it Stefan: If anyone can get him to help us kill Klaus, it's her Damon: Bonnie's the way to kill Klaus, Stefan. He thinks she's dead. We have a chance with her Stefan: She'll kill herself in the process. Elena's looking for another way Damon: Her way's going to get her killed. So we need to find her and stop her (He gets up. Stefan gets up too) Stefan: No, you need to back off Damon: What?! Stefan: Look, I don't like this any more than you do. But we need to trust her. We gotta just let her do her thing Damon: That might be your plan. Mine's better (He tries to leave but Stefan catches his arm) Stefan: I said back off [Elena's car] Elena: He's here Elijah: Klaus is here? Elena: He's taken over Alaric's body Elijah: Of course he has. One of his favorite tricks Elena: Well, what are his other tricks? What is he going to do next? You're the only one who knows him Elijah: Yes, I do England, 1492 [A house] (Elijah is with Katherine) Katherine: So where is this mysterious host I've heard so much about? Elijah: Fashionably late. He likes to make an entrance (Elijah sees someone going down the stairs) Elijah: Here he is (Klaus is hidden by the crowd. Katherine is looking for him. She finally sees him. He rejoins them) Elijah: Katerina, may I introduce to you the lord Nicklaus (Klaus kisses her hand) Klaus: Nicklaus is the name my father gave me. Please. Call me Klaus (He smiles) Nowadays [Lockwood's mansion] (Elijah knocks on the door. Carol opens it) Carol: Elijah, Elena! What are you doing here? What happened? Elijah: I've had a bit of an incident, Carol. I'm hoping you could help Carol: Well, I'm on my way to a meeting, so I- (He compels her) Elijah: We won't take but a minute of your time (She smiles) Carol: Of course. Anything you need Elijah: Thank you (They enter) Elijah: Well, first things first. I'm going to need a change of clothing Carol: Well, we can try one of my husband's suits. I haven't boxed them up yet Elijah: Wonderful (She goes upstairs) Elena: How did you know she's not on vervain? Elijah: 'Cause I'm the one who got her off it. Right before you and your friends killed me. Twice. If you'll excuse me. I'll be done in a moment (He goes upstairs) [Salvatore's house] (Stefan picks up his phone. It's Jenna. Damon is in the living room too) Stefan: Hello? Jenna: Hey, Stefan. It's Jenna Stefan: Jenna, hey Jenna: Where's Elena? And Jeremy? No one's answering their phones Stefan: Ah, Elena's not here at the moment. Is, uh, is everything ok? Jenna: She left me all these weird messages telling me to stay away from Rick. What's going on? Stefan: It's really hard to explain over the phone, but, um, she was hoping that you could stay on campus for a little while longer Jenna: Oh, that's kinda hard to do from my kitchen Stefan: Wait, you're home? Jenna: Yeah. What's going on? Where's Elena? I'm supposed to meet Rick at the grill for lunch, to talk Stefan: Jenna, listen to me carefully. Whatever you do, do not meet Alaric at the grill. I'm going to come over right now and I'll explain everything (He hangs up and looks at Damon, who's pouring himself a drink) Damon: Wow, I'd love to lend you a hand, but you wouldn't want me doing anything stupid Stefan: It's seriously going to be like this? Damon: You and your girlfriend are calling the shots. I'm just backing off, Stefan (Stefan leaves. Andie rejoins Damon) Damon: Hi Andie: Hi Damon: Let's go Andie: Where are we going? Damon: Splitting from the team. Going rogue. Come on [Lockwood's mansion] (Elijah and Elena are sitting on the living room. Elijah is wearing one of Mayor Lockwood's suits) Elijah: So I assume that the Martin witches are no longer with us Elena: No. I'm sorry Elijah: And Katerina? She would have been released from my compulsion when I died Elena: Klaus took her. We think that she may be dead Elijah: I doubt that. Not Klaus' style. Death would be too easy for her after what she did Elena: I don't understand. You say that you want Klaus dead, but you still made Katherine pay for betraying him Elijah: I have my own reasons for wanting Katerina to pay. There was a time... I'd have done anything for Klaus England, 1492 [A house] Klaus: From where have you come, Katerina? Katherine: I'm new to town, my lord (Elijah looks at Klaus with a smile) Elijah: Katerina is from Bulgaria Klaus: Zradevei, Katerina (She laughs) Katherine: Very good (Klaus looks at Elijah) Klaus: Do you mind, brother? I would like to have a moment alone with her Elijah: Not at all. Happy Birthday, brother (Klaus smiles and leaves with Katherine) Nowadays [Lockwood's mansion] Elijah: Yes. Klaus is my brother Elena: I heard that. I'm still processing Elijah: Yes, I'm a little behind on the times, but I believe the term you're searching for is "O.M.G." (He drinks some tea) [Alaric's apartment] (Katherine is bored. She opens a cupboard and finds a bottle of bourbon. She takes it and smiles. She opens it, drinks but hears someone.) (Damon and Andie are here. She knocks on the door) Andie: Alaric, are you home? Andie-- Starr, Jenna's friend (Katherine tries to open the door but she can't even touch the doorknob. Andie and Damon open the door) Katherine: Thank God (Andie enters) Andie: Wow! You were right. She looks exactly like Elena Damon: Yep (He can't enter. He looks at Katherine) Damon: Thought you might be dead Katherine: Unfortunately not [Gilbert's house] (Jenna opens the door to Stefan) Stefan: Hey, Jenna. Thank you so much for not going to the grill Jenna: Um, Stefan... Stefan: No, listen. I can explain (She looks over Stefan's shoulder. He turns himself. Klaus/Alaric's here) Klaus/Alaric: Hi, Stefan. How's it going? [Lockwood's house] Elena: There's a whole family of Originals? Elijah: My father was a wealthy land owner in a village in Eastern Europe. Our mother bore seven children Elena: So your parents were human? Elijah: Our whole family was. Our origin as vampires is a very long story, Elena. Just know... We're the oldest vampires in the world. We are the Original family, and from us all, vampires were created Elena: Right, but Klaus is your brother. And you want him dead? Elijah: I need some air. I'm still feeling a tad... dead. Come [Alaric's apartment] Katherine: What are you doing here? Andie: We are here to rescue you Damon: No, sweetie. We are here to see if she deserves to be rescued Andie: Right Damon: I figured you still might be kicking. Alari-Klaus was blending way too easily. Figured he probably had some coaching (He shows her a phial) Katherine: Is that... Damon: Vervain? Your salvation Katherine: It's not going to undo anything Damon: There's always a loophole. Did he tell you to stay in this apartment until he said it was ok to leave? (She doesn't' answer) Damon: You can't say. Did he tell you to do absolutely everything he says until the end of time? Katherine: No Damon: There's your loophole. Drink this and prevent any further compulsion (She comes closer to take it but he doesn't give it to her) Katherine: Give it to me Damon: Answer one question first. You double-crossed us with Isobel, why? Katherine: I didn't think you could stand a chance against Klaus, so I was looking out for myself Damon: And where did that get you? Here (He throws her the phial) Damon: Be careful with that. If he finds out you have that, you're never getting out of here (She drinks and coughs) Damon: You owe me. And I will collect (He looks at Andie) Damon: Come on Andie: Nice to meet you (She closes the door) [SCENE_BREAK] [Gilbert's house] (Klaus/Alaric is chopping some food with a big knife. Jenna and Stefan are looking at him) Klaus/Alaric: You know, I find chopping... Calming. The feel of the blade in the hand, maybe Jenna: I'm still waiting for someone to tell me what the hell's going on Klaus/Alaric: Well, would you like to tell her, Stefan, or should I? Jenna: Tell me what? Klaus/Alaric: Do you believe in vampires, Jenna? No? (He laughs) Klaus/Alaric: Well, who does, right? But believe it or not, they do have a place in our history. And as a history teacher, I find them fascinating Jenna: Why are we talking about this? Klaus/Alaric: Well, you've been angry with me for keeping secrets, and this is one of my secrets. I'm obsessed with vampires. There. I said it (He laughs) Jenna: Are you joking? Klaus/Alaric: Not at all. How about you, Stefan? Are you a fan of vampires? Stefan: In literature. Bram Stoker. It's dense, but I appreciate it Klaus/Alaric: Hmm. Did you know that vampires are the oldest creatures of the night? Except for werewolves, of course Jenna: Werewolves. Werewolves. Now I know you're joking Klaus/Alaric: You know, I've read that there's an Aztec curse on both species that keeps werewolves slaves to the Moon and vampires bound by the Sun. Isn't that right, Stefan? You know, they say these creatures would do anything to have this curse broken and that they wouldn't care who they had to kill to do it [Lockwood's mansion] (Elena and Elijah are walking outside) Elijah: So as you've seen, nothing can kill an Original. Not Sun, not fire, not even a werewolf bite. Only the wood from one tree. A tree my family made sure burned Elena: That's where the white ash for the dagger comes from Elijah: Yes. The witches won't allow anything truly immortal to walk the earth. Every creature needs to have a weakness in order to maintain the balance Elena: So the Sun can't kill an Original. Why is Klaus so obsessed with breaking the Sun and Moon curse? Elijah: Right. The curse of the Sun and the Moon. It's all so... Biblical-sounding, don't you think? (He smiles) Elena: What's so funny? England, 1492 [A bedroom] (Klaus is sitting on a chair. A woman is in front of him. Elijah's here too. He shows him a parchment.) Elijah: Look what I found. The Roman parchment Klaus: I remember etching this scroll. Well, I was quite blistered from drink Elijah: Your finest work remains your Aztec drawings Klaus: Not the African carvings? 'Cause I was quite proud of those Elijah: The Aztec. Who can resist a shaman? (Klaus laughs) Klaus: Yes Nowadays [Lockwood's mansion] Elena: I don't understand. So Klaus drew the Aztec sketches about the curse? Elijah: Roman scrolls, African tribal etchings, and any other culture or continent we felt like planting in it Elena: But why? Elijah: Easiest way to discover the existence of a doppelganger or to get your hands on some long, lost moon stone is to have every single member of two warring species on the lookout Elena: So it's not Aztec at all? Elijah: The curse of the sun and the Moon... is fake. It doesn't exist Elena: What? [Gilbert's house] (Alaric, Jenna and Stefan are sitting at the table) Klaus/Alaric: Oh, I know this all sounds so crazy, but... vampires are real. Would you care for some more wine? (He gets up to get a bottle of wine) Jenna: Get out Klaus/Alaric: Excuse me? Jenna: I don't know what it is you're trying to do or why you're saying these things, but... Klaus/Alaric: Jenna... Jenna: I said get out! (Stefan gets up) Stefan: You heard her Klaus/Alaric: I'm afraid I don't want to Jenna: Fine! I'll go (Klaus/Alaric catches the knife) Klaus/Alaric: You're not going anywhere (Stefan catches him and pushes him against the wall with his super speed and puts the knife on his throat) Jenna: Stefan! Stefan: Jenna, get out of here now! Klaus/Alaric: You can't kill me, Stefan Stefan: Watch me! Jenna: Stefan! Klaus/Alaric: I may not have a witch protecting me today, but if you kill this body, what's to stop me from choosing Jenna as my next one? Stefan: Jenna, go Jenna: But you're... you... (He looks at her. His face has changed) Stefan: I said go! (She runs out of the house) Klaus/Alaric: Kill me. Just remind Elena how easy it will be for me to get my revenge if she tries to stop me from breaking this curse (Stefan punches him on the face and once Klaus/Alaric is on the floor, he kicks him on the stomach. He throws the knife on the floor and leaves) [Lockwood's mansion] Elijah: Klaus and I faked the Sun and Moon curse dating back over a thousand years Elena: But if there's no curse... Elijah: There's a curse. Just not that one. The real one's much worse. It's a curse placed on Klaus Elena: What are you talking about? Elijah: Klaus has been trying to break it for the last thousand years. You are his only hope (Elena's phone keeps vibrating in Elijah's pocket) Elena: What is this curse? (The phone is still vibrating) Elijah: Your phone will not stop its incessant buzzing. Answer it, please (He gives her the phone. She answers. It's Stefan) Elena: Stefan... what's wrong? No. No, no, no, no. Ok, I'll be right there (She hangs up and looks at Elijah) Elena: Klaus went after Jenna. I have to go to her Elijah: I'm afraid that wasn't part of today's arrangement Elena: She's my family, Elijah. I have to. I'll be back. You have my word Elijah: That doesn't mean anything to me until you live up to it Elena: Thank you (She runs to her car. Elijah looks at her) England, 1492 (Elijah and Katherine are outside. She's running and laughing) Katherine: You have to chase me! (He runs after her but stops. She laughs) Katherine: You're meant to catch me Elijah: But if I catch you, the game will be over Katherine: Thank you for entertaining me Elijah: You seemed lonely inside, so I took pity on you (She sits down) Katherine: Klaus promised to spend the day with me, but he never returned home from the night Elijah: Yes, Klaus does not live by any rules but his own Katherine: He is a very charming man. Hard for anyone to resist, I suppose Elijah: And yet... Katherine: I know not why he courts me. He seems to not care about me at all Elijah: Many a union has been built on much less Katherine: Is it wrong to want more? (He sits down with her) Elijah: Did you have more with Trevor? Katherine: Trevor believes that he loves me, but true love is not real unless it's returned. Do you agree? Elijah: I do not believe in love, Katerina Katherine: That is too sad for me to accept, my lord. Life is too cruel. If we cease to believe in love, why would we want to live? (Klaus rejoins them) Klaus: What do I interrupt? Elijah: He's returned (He looks at Klaus's shirt. There's blood on it) Elijah: Long night Katherine: What has happened? Klaus: The wrong village picked a fight at the tavern (She leaves with him. Klaus looks at Elijah with a smile. Katherine looks at Elijah too) [Salvatore's house] (Elena rejoins Jenna in the library) Elena: Oh, Jenna, thank God Jenna: No Elena: I never meant for any of this to happen Jenna: When I was little, your mom used to tell me bedtime stories. Stories about vampires. I never thought that what she said could be true Elena: It is true, Jenna. I should have told you. I thought that if you didn't know, you'd be safe. But then things got so out of control and everything I had done to keep you out of it, it just blew up in my face Jenna: Who else knows? Jeremy? (Elena nods) Jenna: John? Elena: We were just trying to protect you Jenna: Protect me? Elena: I'm so sorry. I will tell you everything Jenna: No, Elena... I am the one who's supposed to be protecting you and Jeremy Elena: I know, but there's nothing that you could have done. There's so much more to it... Jenna: no, this is-- this is so... I don't know how... it's... (She cries) Elena: I know, hey Jenna: Why didn't you tell me?! I'm scared (Elena sits down next to her and embraces her) Elena: I know. I know. I know, hey. Hey. I'm sorry. Jenna, I am so, so sorry (Stefan is in the corridor, listening to them. He has tears in his eyes) (Elena closes a door. Stefan is here) Stefan: Is she gonna be ok? Elena: She's in shock. I tried to tell her as much as I could, but I barely scratched the surface Stefan: I'm so sorry, Elena. I hate this Elena: It's not your fault, Stefan. It's mine. Anyway... I have to go back to Elijah Stefan: Wait, what? No, no! Elena: Stefan, I promised him that I would return. I can't break that promise Stefan: Oh (He nods) Elena: I'll be ok (She goes to the front door but Damon and Andie rejoin her) Damon: Where do you think you're going? Elena: Back to Elijah Damon: No Elena: Get out of my way, Dam... (He catches her arm) Damon: if you so much as try and take a step out of this house... Andie: Damon, easy Damon: Stay out of this, Andie Stefan: Let her go Damon: Are you kidding me? We just got her back (Stefan catches his arm) Stefan: You heard me. I said let her go Damon: That's twice today you've stood in my way. I wouldn't try a third [Alaric's apartment] (The music is very loud .Katherine is drinking and dancing. Suddenly she hears someone at the door. Klaus/Alaric enters. Katherine is sitting on the couch.) Klaus/Alaric: You mind turning that down? (She turns down the music) Katherine: Why so grumpy? Klaus/Alaric: Well, this body has outlived its usefulness Katherine: Do you want a drink? Klaus/Alaric: No, Katerina, I don't want a drink Katherine: Come on. It might loosen you up (He takes the bottle and throws it against the wall. He compels her) Klaus/Alaric: What I want is for you to sit down and shut up (She sits down on the couch. Maddox arrives) Klaus/Alaric: Maddox, what took you so long? Maddox: You've got a lot of luggage (Two men enter with luggage. A girl enters too) Klaus/Alaric: Greta. Finally Greta: Hello, love. Nice body. You ready to get out of it? (Two other men arrive with a giant box. Katherine looks at them) [Lockwood's mansion] (Elena enter. Elijah's here) Elijah: Welcome back Elena: Tell me. What is Klaus' curse? (She takes of her jacket) Elena: Please Elijah: My family was quite close, but Klaus and my father did not get on too well. When we became vampires, we discovered the truth. Klaus was not my father's son. My mother had been unfaithful many years before. This was her darkest secret. Klaus is from a different bloodline. Of course, when my father discovered this, he hunted down and he killed my mother's lover and his entire family. Not realizing, of course, that he was igniting a war between species that rages until this day Elena: A war between the species? Elijah: The vampires... and the werewolves Elena: So Klaus' real father was from a werewolf bloodline? What does that make Klaus? A werewolf? Or a vampire? Elijah: He's both. A hybrid would be deadlier than any werewolf or vampire. Nature would not stand for such an imbalance of power. Therefore the witches, the servants of nature, saw to it that my brother's werewolf side would become dormant Elena: That's the curse that Klaus wants to break? Elijah: He wants to trigger that part of him that's a werewolf. If allowed, Klaus would sire his own bloodline. He'd build his own race. Endangering not just vampires, but everyone Elena: But you helped him Elijah: I helped him because I loved him. That's changed, now he must die Elena: We have the dagger now. We can stop him Elijah: When a werewolf is wounded by silver, it heals. An Original can't be killed by anything but white oak ash on a silver dagger. So you see the conundrum. The dagger does not work Elena: What, are you saying that Klaus can't be killed? Elijah: There's one way to kill any supernatural species... at the hands of the servants of nature themselves Elena: A witch if they can channel that much power. But it would kill them Elijah: The curse must be broken during the full moon. When Klaus is in transition. That's when he'll be at his most vulnerable. A witch with enough power... can kill Klaus Elena: What if I told you that I knew a witch that could channel that much power? Elijah: Then I would tell you there's one more thing that you should know England, 1492 [A room] Klaus: The full moon is tomorrow, brother. After all these centuries, it is finally time Elijah: I have been to see the witches. They believe they may have found a way to spare the doppelganger Klaus: What does it matter if she lives or not? She's a means to an end that is all Elijah: What, she should die for your gain? Klaus: She is human. Her life means nothing Elijah: I beg you to consider this Klaus: Are you so foolish as to care for her? Elijah: Of course not (Klaus gets closer to him) Klaus: Love is a vampire's greatest weakness, and we are not weak, Elijah. We do not feel, and we do not care Elijah: We did once. Too many lifetimes ago to matter. Tell the witches not to bother. The sacrifice will happen as planned Nowadays [Lockwood's mansion] Elena: You found a way to save the life of the doppelganger? Elijah: Yes, Elena. I did. But unfortunately, Katerina took matters into her own hands first. I believe you already know how that played out Elena: You cared about her, didn't you? Elijah: It's a common mistake, I'm told. And it's one I won't make again (He gives her her jacket and leaves) [Salvatore's house] (Damon is with Andie in the library) Andie: You don't have to be so mad at your brother. You know, he's worried about Elena, and... Damon: Just go, please Andie: I know you're worried about her, too Damon: Andie. Go Andie: Okay (She leaves. Stefan enters the room) Stefan: Tired of your little play thing already? Damon: Don't start with me, Stefan. She's just my distraction Stefan: She's a person. You're victimizing her Damon: You should be thankful she's here. She keeps me from going for what I really want Stefan: You're right. Thank you for being in love with my girlfriend (Damon gets up) Damon: And there it is Stefan: There it is. You know, you can be in love with Elena all you want... If it means that you'll protect her. But I have the one thing that you never will Damon: Oh, yeah? What's that? Stefan: Her respect (Damon punches Stefan so hard that he falls on a rack and breaks it. He gets up and rushes over Damon. They both grunt and groan. Elena and Elijah enter the room) Elena: Stop! (Elijah is looking at them) England, 1492 [A room] (Elijah is sitting on a chair. Klaus enters the room) Klaus: What have you done? Elijah: I don't understand Klaus: Katerina has gone. She has fled Elijah: No Klaus: What did you tell her? Elijah: I told her nothing (Klaus catches him and pushes him against the wall. His face has changed) Klaus: Do not lie to me! Elijah: I will find her. You have my word Klaus: If you do not, I give you my word you will be dead Nowadays [Salvatore's house] (Stefan and Damon have stop. They're looking at Elena and Elijah) Damon: Now you've invited him in? Elena: Elijah and I have renewed the terms of our deal Damon: Really? Elijah: The two of you will come to no harm at my hands. I only ask for one thing in return Damon: What? Elijah: An apology Damon: A what? (Stefan gets closer to them) Stefan: I'm sorry for the part that I played in your death. I was protecting Elena. I will always protect Elena Elijah: I understand (Elena looks at Damon) Elena: Sacrifice is going to happen, Damon. Bonnie will be able to kill Klaus without hurting herself and Elijah knows how to save my life. I told you I'd find another way. And I did Damon: Is that true? Elijah: It is (Damon looks at Elena) Damon: And you're trusting him? Elena: I am Damon: You can all go to hell (He leaves. Stefan looks at Elijah) Stefan: He's angry with me right now. But he'll come around Elijah: Perhaps (Damon enters his bedroom. Andie goes out of the bathroom, in lingerie) Damon: I thought I told you to leave Andie: You didn't compel me. I want to be here. Just let me be here Damon: I'm upset. And you know what happens when I'm upset. You have to leave Andie: No. You need to know that somebody cares about you. I care about you, Damon (He bites her. She screams. He throws her on the floor. She cries. He gets closer to her) Damon: Hey. Hey. Look at me (He compels her) Damon: Get out of here, before I kill you. Just go. Go. Now! (She takes her clothes, looks at him and leaves) [Alaric's apartment] (Maddox and Greta are casting a spell. There are candles all around them. Klaus/Alaric is standing next to the box. Katherine is looking at them. They stop and look at Alaric. He opens his eyes and looks at Katherine) Alaric: Elena? (He collapses. Maddox opens the box and Klaus gets out of it and looks at Alaric) Klaus: Now that's more like it (He smiles)

After Elena removed the dagger, Elijah wakes, and Elena makes another deal with him. In a flashback to 1492 England, Katherine meets Elijah and Klaus for the first time. Elijah and Klaus were raised as brothers, but Klaus was the result of their mother's affair with a man from a werewolf bloodline. Elijah's father hunted down the man and had him and his family killed, beginning the schism between werewolves and vampires. As a vampire/werewolf hybrid, Klaus can only be killed by a witch. The sun and moon curse was fake - the real curse is that Klaus's werewolf side had been forced into dormancy by witches. Jenna finally finds out about the vampires from Stefan and Klaus/Alaric. Elsewhere, Katherine is being held captive by Klaus. Damon finds her and gives her a vial of vervain to protect her from further compulsion. At the end of the episode, Maddox and Greta (Luka's sister) perform a ritual to release Klaus's spirit from Alaric's body and put it back into his own.

fd_The_100_01x08

fd_The_100_01x08_0

Clarke (V.O.): I was born in space. I've never felt the sun on my face or breathed real air or floated in the water. None of us have. For three generations, The Ark has kept what's left of the human race alive, but now our home is dying, and we are the last hope of mankind, desperate mission to the ground. Each of us was sent here because we broke the law. On the ground, there is no law. All we have to do is survive, but we will be tested by the earth, by the secrets it hides, and, most of all, by each other. Clarke: Previously on "The 100"... Jaha: Who shot me? Kane: Bellamy Blake. He stowed away on the dropship. We're still investigating who helped him. Shumway: Kill the Chancellor. Clarke: That's why you took the wristbands; you needed everyone to think we're dead. Bellamy: The Ark finds out we're alive, they'll come down, and when they do, I'm dead. Jaha: Earth is survivable. Mankind is going home. Bellamy: Hey, why were you defending him? Octavia: Because he saved my life. I never wanted any of this to happen to you. Lincoln: Thank you. ( Scene goes to black ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Dropship ] ( Bellamy watches over a captive and bloody Lincoln ) ( Hatch opens as Miller walks in ) Miller: Did you talk to The Ark? I told Digg's mom the news, John's dad. I'm supposed to talk to Roma's parents later. Bellamy: Thanks for doing that. I owe you. ( Miller turns to face Lincoln ) Miller: Telling all these parents that their kids were murdered by Grounders, I just wish I could say we were getting some justice. Bellamy: We're not killing him. Miller: You were a lot scarier when you had that face paint on. ( Miller smears something on Lincoln's face ) ( Lincoln headbutts Miller, knocking him to the ground ) ( Bellamy looks up at Lincoln while Miller groans in pain ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Camp ] ( Clarke uses the video chat to attend a council meeting ) Jaha: Tell me about the Grounder. Can he provide any insight on how to survive winter? [SCENE_BREAK] [ The Ark ] ( the Council talks to Clarke ) Clarke: We're doing everything we can to prepare here. We're gathering nuts and berries, curing meats, digging for roots, but the truth is, we'll freeze before we starve. Kane: There's good news on that front. According to civil defense plans from before the war, there's an old emergency aid depot not far from the landing site. Here are the coordinates. Jaha: In addition to supplies, it could provide shelter for the hundred and for the citizens coming down from The Ark. Clarke: And what makes you think it's intact? Kane: It was designed to withstand nuclear warfare. Clarke: All right. It's worth a shot. Sydney: Chancellor, I have to object. Project Exodus is under way. The kids should sit tight in their camp until the first dropship launches. Jaha: Even if everything goes without a hitch, the hundred would die from exposure before relief arrives. I'd like a moment with Clarke alone, please, and I know there's a line of parents waiting to talk to their kids. Clarke, we all are very proud of what you've done down there. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Camp ] ( Clarke talking with Jaha ) Jaha: Your mother... Clarke: I don't want to talk about my mother. Jaha: Please, Clarke. It's time to forgive. Let me schedule a time for you and Abby to sit down... Clarke: Look. I know you both think that betraying my dad, killing him, was an unavoidable tragedy, but I don't see it that way, and I never will. So just tell me who's next and let someone who actually wants to talk to their parents have a turn. ( Clarke leaves the tent looking for the next person in line ) Clarke: Dax. ( Clarke walks up to Jasper and Monty who are busy sorting, cracking, and eating nuts ) Clarke: Hey, you guys seen Dax? Monty: Over there on the meat crew. ( Clarke walks over to the meat crew ) Clarke: Dax. You're up. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Dax, in communications tent ] ( Dax looks up to see Commander Shumway in front of the video instead of his mom ) Dax: Where's my mom? Shumway: You can see her after you and I have a little talk. Are you alone? Dax: Yeah. Why? Shumway: If I remember right, you beat a man to death. Dax: He stole from me. Shumway: Relax. I have a problem, and I think you can help me fix it, and in return, I can guarantee your mom a spot on the first dropship and for you a choice assignment when I get to the ground. Dax: What do you want me to do? Shumway: Kill Bellamy Blake. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Cuts to black "the 100" screen ] [SCENE_BREAK] [ Dropship ] ( Bellamy climbs down the ladder and sees Octavia sitting nearby ) Bellamy: You're still here? Octavia: I'm not moving until you let me up there to see him. Bellamy: Get comfortable. ( Bellamy looks away and then back at Octavia ) Bellamy: I let him live. Isn't that enough? Octavia: He saved my life and yours. Bellamy: I know you see it that way, but... Octavia: That's the way it is. Bellamy: He's still dangerous. Octavia: Only because of what you did. Bellamy: Whatever twisted connection you think you have with that animal, forget it. You don't get to see him. End of conversation. ( Bellamy turns to leave but stops when Octavia questions him ) Octavia: Why do you even care if I ruined your life? You should want me to go up there. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll kill me, problem solved. Bellamy: Octavia, you know I didn't mean that. ( Clarke enters the dropship, unaware of the fighting siblings ) Clarke: Bellamy. ( Bellamy walks with intent to leave the dropship ) Bellamy: The answer is still no. I'm not talking to Jaha. Clarke: Hey, relax. ( Bellamy stops walking and faces Clarke ) Clarke: That's not why I'm here. Bellamy: What, then? Clarke: The Ark found some old records that show a supply depot not too far from here. Bellamy: What kind of supplies? Clarke: The kind that might give us a chance to live through winter. I'm gonna go check it out. I could use backup. Bellamy: Why are you asking me? Clarke: Well, because right now, I don't feel like being around anyone I actually like. ( Bellamy looks down and huffs with a smirk ) ( Bellamy glances up at Octavia and then back to Clarke nodding his head ) Bellamy: I'll get my stuff, meet you in ten. ( Clarke nods her head and leaves while the two Blake siblings glare at one another ) ( Bellamy leaves the dropship ) Jasper: What do you think they're gonna do with the Grounder? ( Monty and Jasper both look towards the Dropship and see Bellamy walking out ) Monty: I'd rather not think about it. Jasper: Well, it's been days since Bellamy captured him. How long till his friends come looking? Monty: Cheer up. In that time, we'll all be dead from hypothermia. ( Monty pops a nut into his mouth and makes a gesture to throw one in Jaspers mouth; which makes it ) Jasper: Hey, hey, hey. ( Monty and Jasper do a secret handshake ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Finn ] ( Clarke inspects Finn's wound as Raven watches ) Clarke: How are you feeling? Finn: Weak, bored... ( Finn winces ) Finn: Grateful to be alive. Clarke: Well, if you want to stay that way, you should rest. Raven: I'll tie him down if I have to. ( An awkward silence falls over the three ) Clarke: I'm gonna be out of camp today. Can you change his bandages in a few hours? Finn: Wait. Where are you going? Clarke: It's a little assignment from The Ark. It's nothing to worry about. Finn: It's not safe out there. Raven: Finn, Clarke is a big girl. She can take care of herself. Bellamy: Clarke... ( Bellamy peeks his head into the tent ) Bellamy: Let's get a move on. ( Finn rolls his eyes and lays his head back in displeasure when he sees who Clarke is leaving with ) Clarke: Make sure he stays in bed. Raven: It sounds like a plan. ( Clarke gets up and leaves the tent ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Bellamy ] ( Clarke notices him taking more rations than he should ) Clarke: That's a lot of rations. You realize this is a day trip. Bellamy: A lot can happen in a day. ( Octavia steps out of the dropship and sees Clarke and Bellamy leaving camp ) ( Bellamy looks back at camp and Octavia, until she goes back inside the dropship ) ( Bellamy turns and follows Clarke out of camp ) ( Dax sees Clarke and Bellamy leave camp and follows them; pocketing a hunting knife ) ( Screen cuts to black ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Camp ] ( showing various camp activists and then Connor inside the dropship ) Connor: Hey, Miller, Roma's parents are waiting for you on the radio. ( Octavia, who is still in the dropship, listens in ) ( Hatch opens and Miller walks out of the dropship and Octavia hides from Miller ) ( Octavia quickly climbs the ladder after Miller leaves the dropship ) ( Octavia opens up the hatch and enters the room were Lincoln is held ) Octavia: Hi. We don't have a lot of time. ( Octavia closes the hatch and then walks over to Lincoln ) Octavia: I brought you some water. Here. ( Octavia holds up the water and Lincoln drinks ) Octavia: It's good, right? Sorry I haven't seen you since everything happened. ( Octavia gives Lincoln more water ) Octavia: My brother has been keeping me away. He's a total dick, which you probably already figured out. ( Lincoln chuckles ) Octavia: You do understand me. I knew it. ( Octavia walks away, takes off her jacket ) Octavia: Well, at least let me get you cleaned up quick. ( Octavia picks up a rag and begins wiping away the blood and marvels at his tattoos ) Octavia: This is all my fault because I freaked out so bad when you locked me up in that cave. You'd totally understand why if you knew how I grew up. Lincoln: My name is Lincoln. Octavia: Lincoln. I'm Octavia. Well, is that it? Is that all you're gonna say? Lincoln: It's not safe for us to talk. Octavia: Well, if we shouldn't talk, then why did you tell me your name? Lincoln: I want you to remember me after I'm dead. Octavia: You're not gonna die. Don't say that. Lincoln: Octavia, this only ends one way. Octavia: Just talk to them. Tell them you're not the enemy. Lincoln: I am. Miller: Octavia, get the hell out now. Bellamy is not even here. Get out, or he gets the beating I've been aching to give him. Octavia: Okay, okay. I get it. I'm gone. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Location: ] Clarke: You know, the first dropship is gonna come down soon. Pretty sure you can't avoid Jaha forever. Bellamy: I can try. Clarke: The depot is supposed to be around here somewhere. There's got to be a door. Maybe he'll be lenient. Bellamy: Look. I shot the man, Clarke. He's not just gonna forgive and forget. Let's just split up, cover more ground. Stay within shouting distance. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Location: ] Raven: I'd hate to see the other guy. Octavia: You did, when you were torturing him. Raven: Finn was dying. I'm not gonna apologize for doing what I had to do. Octavia: It must suck to come all the way down here to find out your boyfriend is into somebody else. Raven: I'm not doing this with you. ( Raven walks to Finn's tent ) Raven: Hey. Finn: Hey. Raven: Thirsty? Let me get that. ( Raven gives Finn some water. Raven begins kissing Finn. ) Finn: Wait. Wait. Raven: I've been waiting since they locked you up on The Ark. Finn: We can't, not till we talk. Raven: I don't want to talk. Finn: Something happened. Raven: Finn, I know, and I don't want to talk about it - Well - Ever. Do you love me? Finn: Always. Raven: Okay, then. Mm. You're supposed to be resting. Finn: Let me. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Location: ] Clarke: Bellamy. Over here. I found a door. ( tries pulling the door open ) Uh! I think it's rusted shut. Bellamy: Here. Watch your foot. Clarke: Okay. Bellamy: Give me a hand. Clarke: Oh! Here." ( they both open the door ) Bellamy: Really think this place hasn't been touched since the war? Clarke: A girl can dream. Come on. ( they notice a skeleton with ragged clothing on it on the stairs ) Bellamy: Hell of a place to die. Clarke: So much for living down here. This place is disgusting. Bellamy: Damn it. Anything left down here is ruined. Clarke: They must have distributed most of the supplies before the last bombs went off. Hey, I found blankets. Bellamy: Excited about a couple of blankets? Clarke: Well, it's something. Bellamy: How about a canteen or a med kit or a decent fricking tent? Argh! [SCENE_BREAK] [ Location: ] Monty: Oh, my God. Jasper: What? Monty: Earth is scary. It's amazing. Fresh ait, trees, nuts. These taste better than usual, right? Oh, I'd like to give Earth a giant hug. Jasper: You're acting weird. Monty: I feel weird, but in a good way. Jasper: I gotta pee. ( Jasper goes outside. While relieving himself, he begins hallucinating that Grounders are in the camp. ) Jasper: Yaah! Ooh! ( Jasper runs over to Octavia ) Octavia? Octavia, I think I'm going crazy, or the Grounders are here, or I'm going crazy, or- Octavia: Okay. Just slow down. Just tell me what you saw. Jasper: [points] Him. Octavia: Jasper, there's no-one there. Jasper: He's right there! We have to run. We have to run. Why isn't anyone doing any- Octavia: Stop it! Shut up. Jasper, are you on something? Jasper: I love you, and I just want you to know this. We're all gonna die soon, okay? I love you." ( Jasper tries to eat another Jobi Nut ) Octavia: [takes the nut from Jasper] Is this all you've eaten today? Jasper: It is, but who the hell cares now? It's- Octavia: You're totally bombed. Oh, relax. Here, buddy. Take this. Jasper: It's a stick. Octavia: No. This is an anti-Grounder stick. So long as you hold this and you sit right here, Grounders won't be able to see you. See? Jasper: Yeah. Makes sense. I'll just stay right here. Does make sense. Octavia: Stay right there. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Location: ] Miller: Get out. Octavia: Relax. I thought you might be hungry. A peace offering. I shouldn't have come up here alone earlier. It was stupid and dangerous, and he's not worth it. I won't tell Bellamy if you won't. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Location: ] Bellamy: This changes everything. No more running from spears. Ready to be a badass, Clarke? Clarke: Look. I'm not gonna fight you on bringing guns back to camp. I know we need them, but don't expect me to like it. Bellamy: We're lucky the rifles were packed in grease. The fact that they survived means we're not sitting ducks anymore. You need to learn how to do this. Clarke: So, I just hold it on my shoulder? Bellamy: Yeah, just a little higher now, that end. Yeah. ( Bellamy gets flustered being so close to Clarke ) Uh, that's good. Uh, watch and learn." ( Bellamy picks up another rifle and tries firing it, but it doesn't fire ) Clarke: Still watching. Bellamy: My bullets are duds. Try yours. ( Clarke shoots, this time it fires ) Clarke: That was amazing. Ha! Am I horrible for feeling that? Bellamy: Try again. Clarke: No. We shouldn't waste the ammunition. Bellamy: You need to practice. Clarke: No. We need to talk about how we're gonna keep guns around camp, where are we gonna keep them, and who has access. You left Miller in charge of the Grounder. You must trust him. Bellamy: You should keep him close. The others listen to him. Clarke: I should keep him close? Bellamy, what's going on? You've been acting weird all day. All the rations you took. You're gonna run. That's why you agreed to come with me. You were gonna load up on supplies and just disappear. Bellamy: I don't have a choice. The Ark will be here soon. Clarke: So you're just gonna leave Octavia? Bellamy: Octavia hates me. She'll be fine. You don't know I shot the Chancellor. They're gonna kill me, Clarke. Best-case scenario, they lock me up with the Grounder for the rest of my life, and there's no way in hell I'm giving Jaha the satisfaction. Keep practicing. I need some air. ( Bellamy goes outside, clearly upset. He begins hallucinating that Jaha is on the ground with him, as well as the 320 people who died in the culling. ) Jaha: Bellamy Blake. Bellamy: How are you here? You're on the Ark. Jaha: You shot me on the Ark, but I've been waiting for you. Bellamy: I did what I had to do. Jaha: To protect Octavia. That's right. Pathetic, using your sister to justify your crimes, your cruelty, your selfishness? Bellamy: If you're gonna kill me, just do it. Jaha: Why should I kill you? Unlike the others, I survived your treachery. Bellamy: What are you talking about? Jaha: The three hundred and twenty souls that were culled from the Ark so that others could live. You knew that they would be sacrificed. The radio. Bellamy: I didn't know that would happen! Jaha: It's not my forgiveness you should seek. It's theirs. Culled People: Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. Bellamy: Stop! [SCENE_BREAK] [ Clarke hallucinating ] Jake: It's not what you imagined, is it? Clarke: Dad? (Chattering and laughter) Hey, is the moon in here? Monty... I can't change the tide if the moon won't cooperate. Get out of here. It's basic physics. Oh, stay here. (Chattering and laughter) Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha. Scratch that. Get out here. You're not real, are you? Sorry, kiddo. I wish I were. Wait. How is this possible? I'm thinking why more important than how. Why me? Because I miss you. Think there's more to it than that, kiddo. You want me to forgive her. Hey... Your mom loves you, Clarke. She betrayed you. How can I forgive her for that? The disappointed look isn't fair. (Chuckles) I'm trying. I'm trying all the time, but everyone is counting on me, and it's so hard. Come here. I know, honey. It's been tough, hasn't it? I let someone get tortured. Listen. You're doing the best you can. You want me to say mom did the best she could. This is about what you want. You're dead because of her. She doesn't deserve my forgiveness. Oh... Listen to me. Forgiveness isn't about what people deserve. Look. I'm sorry. I can't. Whatever. Crazy bitch. Dad? Don't move. Uh! Aah. We need to go now. Uh! (Panting) Why are you doing this? Just get dressed. They'll know you helped me. Aah! You said it... you stay here, you'll die. I'm not gonna let that happen. I'm not gonna put you in danger. You need to do this now. Ok. Even in these clothes, I'll be seen. People are seeing plenty of things right now. Oh! Up you get. Uh! Ok. Let's go. What'd you do? Set out some of our winter rations a little early. Jobi nuts, the food you gave my guard, they go bad, they cause visions, but it wears off. Just try to get as far away as you can, ok, and try not to get yourself killed. Tell me again. You are the most beautiful broom in a broom closet of brooms. Mm... (Girl crying) I got this one. Hey... Hey... Murderer. Man: Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. Please kill me. Kill me! I deserve it. Please. I can't fight anymore. Jaha: Don't you know? Life is a fight. What am I supposed to do? Live, breathe, suffer. You owe them that. You want the peace of death. You're gonna have to earn it. Agh! Agh... Fight back! Do you think you deserve to be free of your pain? Do you deserve that gift? Because you're gonna get it. (Gun cocks) Nothing personal. (Click) Clarke: Put it down, Dax. Dax: Should've stayed down there, Clarke. I tried not to kill you, but here you are, and Shumway said no witnesses. What is he talking about? Shumway set it up. He gave me the gun to shoot the chancellor. Walk away now, and I won't kill you. Put it down. Your choice. (Click) (Gunshots) No! Get the hell off him! Uh! (Panting) You're ok. No, I'm not. My mother... if she knew what I've done, who I am... she raised me to be better, to be good... Bellamy... And all I do is hurt people. (Sniffles) I'm a monster. Hey... You have saved my life today. You may be a total ass half the time, but I need you. We all need you. None of us would've survived this place if it wasn't for you. You want forgiveness, fine, I'll give it to you. You're forgiven, ok, but you can't run, Bellamy. You have to come back with me. You have to face it. Like you faced your mom? You're right. I don't want to face my mom. I don't want to face any of it. All I think about every day is who we're gonna keep everyone alive, but we don't have a choice. (Sniffles) Jaha will kill me when he comes down. We'll figure something out. Can we figure it out later? Whenever you're ready. Rough night? Yeah. My head is killing me. You? I'm pretty sure I ate a pine cone because it told me to. Miller: He's gone. The grounder is gone. What if he brings other grounders back? He'll kill us all. Or worse. Bellamy: Let the grounders come. We've been afraid of them for far too long, and why? Because of their knives and spears. I don't know about you. I'm tired of being afraid. Ho ho ho! No way. Clarke: These are weapons, ok, not toys, and we have to be prepared to give them up to the guard when the dropships come, but until then, they're gonna help keep us safe. And there are plenty more where these came from. Tomorrow we start training, and if the grounders come, we're gonna be ready to fight. (Music playing) I don't expect you to forgive me, but you'll have to find a way to live with me... because I'm not going anywhere. Clarke: Bellamy... It's time. Grounder escaping, was that you? I had nothing to do with it. Thanks for the blanket. Jaha: Mr. Blake, I've wanted to talk to you for some time now. Before you do, I'd like to say something. When you sent us down here, you sent us to die, but miraculously, most of us are still alive. In large part, that is because of him, because of Bellamy. He's one of us, and he deserves to be pardoned of his crimes just like the rest of us. Clarke, I appreciate your point of view, but it's not that simple. It is if you want to know who on The Ark wants you dead. Bellamy Blake, you're pardoned for your crimes. Now, tell me who gave you the gun. You're a disgrace. I'm fighting for what I believe in, just like you. What, exactly, is that? I need to check this. Guns? Really? The grounder escaping, we have to expect retaliation. We have to be prepared. Yeah. Our ancestors wanted to be prepared, too. So they built bombs. Rifles are not the same as nukes. In Bellamy's hands, they are. Clarke, come on. You can't predict what he's gonna do. There's no perfect answer, Finn. The grounder saved Octavia's life, and Bellamy brought him back here and tortured him. Yeah, but if he hadn't brought him back here, you'd be dead. I know. I trust him. You can't be serious. I am. Clarke... You and Bellamy are leading us down a dangerous road. I wish you would've talked to me about it first. I wish you talked to me about a lot of things, but you didn't. (Door opens) Thank God it's you. I thought I was about to float. It won't come to that, Commander. Wait. What's going on? I did what you asked me... agh!

Video connection is established with The Ark. The Ark informs the 100 of a nearby underground depot that may serve as a winter home. Bellamy and Clarke investigate and discover a stockpile of weapons and supplies. Dax, whom Commander Shumway is coercing to kill Bellamy, follows them. Octavia takes advantage of the camp's suffering from the effects of hallucinogenic nuts gathered as rations and frees the grounder, whose name is Lincoln. Bellamy, also hallucinating, is wracked with guilt for the culling and almost killed by Dax; Bellamy manages to kill Dax with Clarke's help. Clarke appeals to Jaha to pardon Bellamy for his crime using his actions on the ground; Jaha agrees in exchange for the name of the person who hired Bellamy. This leads to the arrest and imprisonment of Shumway. He is visited by Diana Sydney, and it is revealed that Jaha's assassination was her idea. Diana then has Shumway killed in his cell and framed to look like a suicide .

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THE ROMANS DENNIS SPOONER 5:40pm - 6:05pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: INT. VILLA AT ASSESSIUM. OUTSIDE THE DOCTOR'S ROOM (ASCARIS approaches a curtained doorway. The DOCTOR can be heard inside, strumming on the Lyre.) DOCTOR: (OOV: Laughing.) I'm sure even Nero can play better than that! (ASCARIS pulls out a sword, looks round and starts to pull aside the curtain...) [SCENE_BREAK] 2: INT. VILLA AT ASSESSIUM. DOCTOR'S ROOM (The DOCTOR sits alone with his back to the doorway as ASCARIS enters.) DOCTOR: The answer is of course, is not to be caught playing it! (He laughs again, stands and turns as ASCARIS lunges at him. The DOCTOR parries the lunge with the Lyre.) DOCTOR: Ohhh! So you want to fight do you? (Laughing, he throws ASCARIS and the Lyre onto the bed. He then grabs a pot plant and smashes down on the assassin's head.) DOCTOR: Come on, my friend. Eh, what's the matter with you? (The DOCTOR then throws the bedclothes over ASCARIS as he struggles to stand. Totally caught up in the blankets, the DOCTOR tosses him over the other side of the bed. ASCARIS gets to his feet, grabs his sword and again lunges at the DOCTOR who grabs an amphora of wine from a stand and throws the contents in the man's face. As ASCARIS falls back, the DOCTOR smashes the amphora over his head. The DOCTOR laughs as ASCARIS again lunges at him but easily avoids the sword thrust. He tries again but the DOCTOR grabs his arm and throws him over his shoulder as VICKI runs into the room.) VICKI: Doctor, what's happening? (This time it's VICKI who grabs a bowl to bring it down on ASCARIS'S head. The assassin however, has had enough and throws himself out of the window to avoid further damage to his cranium.) DOCTOR: Young lady, why did you have to come in and interrupt? Just as I'd got him all softened up and ready for the old one two! VICKI: You're alright then? DOCTOR: Alright? Of course, I'm alright, my child. You know, I am so constantly outwitting the opposition, I tend to forget the delights and satisfaction of the arts...the gentle art of fisticuffs! VICKI: I realise you're a man of many talents, Doctor, but I didn't know fighting was one of them. DOCTOR: My dear, I am one of the best! Do you know it was I that used to teach the Mountain Mauler of Montana! VICKI: The what? DOCTOR: Do you remember, have you never heard? (VICKI laughs.) DOCTOR: No, of course, no, no, of course, you haven't, have you? No. Well, never mind, I think after all that wonderful exercise, I shall be able to get a very pleasant nights sleep. Right, off you go. Goodnight! VICKI: (She stops laughing.) But Doctor, surely we're not going to stay here? DOCTOR: Why not? (She points to the window.) What him? Oh, my dear child, I don't think he'll come back again. Oh, no. I think I can promise you that. (He remakes his bed.) VICKI: Oh, Doctor, I was coming to tell you another thing. You know the Centurion who brought us here? DOCTOR: Hmm. VICKI: He seems to have gone too. DOCTOR: Well, I'm not surprised. It was he who obviously hired the man to kill me. Or rather to kill this fellow, Maximus, emm...what is it? Er.. VICKI: Pettulian. DOCTOR: Er what? VICKI: Pettulian. DOCTOR: Yes, yes, of course, yes. I must remember that name. Yes, goodnight. VICKI: But Doctor, if he wanted you dead, why didn't he take care of it himself? DOCTOR: Because this way he couldn't be charged with crime. VICKI: Yes, but if you were going to be killed anyway, I can't see that it... DOCTOR: (Interrupts.) My dear, it was an accepter, accepted thing in this age to hire an assassin. Prefembly, preferably someone dumb, and then he couldn't denounce you. VICKI: Ah, so he must have been looking in the bushes for the body when we first... DOCTOR: (Interrupts.) Just as I suspected at the time. Now, goodnight! (VICKI walks towards the door.) DOCTOR: And remember, we make an early start tomorrow. (She turns back.) VICKI: You don't mean to say we're going on? DOCTOR: Oh, goodness me, goodness me child, how you do talk! Yes, we are. VICKI: But they might try and kill you again. DOCTOR: Well, of course he might. But who am I to worry about such little things like that? Mmm? Now then, there's one thing you've got to learn about me. When I say we go to Rome, then we go to Rome! Goodnight! (He shows her out of the door with a smile.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3: EXT. ROME (ROMA: The warren of streets that make up the capital of the known world burn under the hot Italian sun.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4: INT. ROME. CELLS (SEVCHERIA puts his prisoners into rows of cages. BARBARA supports a coughing, sick WOMAN SLAVE.) SEVCHERIA: (To some slaves as he locks them in a cage.) Wait here. (SEVCHERIA leads BARBARA and the WOMAN SLAVE to another cage.) BARBARA: (To the WOMAN SLAVE.) Look, there's no more walking. You can rest now. WOMAN SLAVE: Thank you, you're kind. You're very ki.. (Coughs.) kind. (SEVCHERIA thrusts the two of them into the cage. He grabs BARBARA'S wrist.) SEVCHERIA: I'll have to see about getting you some new clothes. BARBARA: (Struggling.) You needn't bother! SEVCHERIA: Ah, it's not for your sake. I want you looking special at the slave auction. (He releases her and closes the cage. BARBARA bends down to help the coughing and retching WOMAN SLAVE.) WOMAN SLAVE: Have we arrived? Is this Rome? (Coughs.) BARBARA: Yes, this is Rome. How are you feeling? Are you more comfortable now? WOMAN SLAVE: Much better. It's just this cough. It was a long march. Thirty-four days it took us. Thirty-four days... (Coughs.) (BARBARA stands and looks out of a barred window.) WOMAN SLAVE: You said your friend would meet you here. BARBARA: Did I? WOMAN SLAVE: On the road. You told me all about him. BARBARA: Yes, er, Ian. WOMAN SLAVE: Strange name. I've never heard of it before. I hopes he finds you. (Coughs.) (BARBARA smiles and nods, then she looks out of the window.) BARBARA: ...If I ever see him again. [SCENE_BREAK] 5: EXT. SEA (A Roman galley travels through the water.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6: INT. GALLEY (Rows of Galley slaves pull on the oars to the accompaniment of the beat of a drum and the cries of a GALLEY MASTER. IAN is amongst the slaves.) GALLEY MASTER: In out, in out, in out, in out, in out, in out, in out, in out, in rest. (The slaves rest, exhausted. The GALLEY MASTER walks amongst them, a rope-end in his hand.) GALLEY MASTER: That's right. Make the best of it. There's supposed to be bad weather coming up. (He walks away. IAN speaks to the man he is chained next to - DELOS.) IAN: Five days, Delos. Five whole days. DELOS: Days, they soon melt into weeks, then months, then years. IAN: (Horrified at this thought.) Gotta get away from here. DELOS: Land, Ian. IAN: What? DELOS: Ian, it's land. (They look out of the oar hole.) DELOS: It's a long way. IAN: I'm not a great swimmer Delos, but, I'll take any risks, believe me. DELOS: If the plan works. IAN: Ah, there's only one way to find out, isn't there? (He looks behind him at the GALLEY MASTER then nods at DELOS who cries out and slumps forward.) IAN: Galley master! Galley master! He's dead. Dead! GALLEY MASTER: (Coming forward.) Move away, let me see. (As he bends over DELOS, IAN makes a grab for his arm. The GALLEY MASTER pushes him back.) GALLEY MASTER: You'll have to do better than that. DELOS: You alright, Ian? GALLEY MASTER: Right! Prepare your oars. Ready? Row! (The slaves start pulling on their oars.) GALLEY MASTER: In out, in out, in out, in out, in out, in out, [SCENE_BREAK] 7: INT. ROME. CELLS (BARBARA is attempting to force a bowl of food on the still coughing WOMAN SLAVE.) BARBARA: But you must try and eat something. WOMAN SLAVE: There's not enough for two. Besides, I bain't hungry. BARBARA: Come on, look, don't be silly. WOMAN SLAVE: Thank 'e. (BARBARA looks round. A well dressed, bald headed MAN is outside the cage watching her intently. She deliberately looks away.) MAN: What's your name young woman? (She ignores him.) MAN: Where do you come from? (Still no answer.) Young woman, I want to help you. (BARBARA turns and looks at him when she hears this.) MAN: Of course, you have to trust me. (She gets up and walks over to the bars.) BARBARA: Would I...would I get out of here? MAN: Oh yes. BARBARA: And be free to go where I choose. MAN: No, I'm afraid not, you see, I should have to buy you. (BARBARA walks away in disgust.) Now please, let me explain. BARBARA: I'm not interested. MAN: But you will be when you hear my proposal. BARBARA: Oh, go away! I don't have to listen to you. (SEVCHERIA enters and walks up to the MAN.) SEVCHERIA: Greetings, Tavius. TAVIUS: That young woman, how much? SEVCHERIA: I'm sorry Tavius, no private sales. She's to be sold by auction. TAVIUS: I'll give you a fair price. SEVCHERIA: Oh, I believe you would. But the answer's still no. TAVIUS: You think you'll get a higher figure than I can pay you? SEVCHERIA: We shall see at the auction then, won't we Tavius? (He pats his back. TAVIUS walks away. SEVCHERIA unlocks the door and passes BARBARA a new dress.) SEVCHERIA: Here. BARBARA: There's only one. (She looks at the WOMAN SLAVE on the floor.) What about her? SEVCHERIA: She won't be wanting any new clothes. BARBARA: Why not? Where's she going? SEVCHERIA: She wouldn't fetch any price at all at the auctions. She's to be taken to the circus... (He steps outside the cage and relocks the door.) SEVCHERIA: ...and thrown in the arena. (BARBARA, with a look of horror on her face, turns and looks down at the pensive features of the doomed WOMAN SLAVE.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8: EXT. SEA (The Galley is caught up in a furious storm.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. GALLEY (The Galley slaves struggles to row against the storm. The GALLEY MASTER beats the drum.) GALLEY MASTER: In, out. If anyone breaks time, they'll be thrown overboard. DELOS: (His initial shouts are lost over the noise of the storm.) ...much more of this, Ian! GALLEY MASTER: In, out, row harder, row harder, do you hear! In, out! (DELOS takes his hands off the oar.) IAN: Keep rowing, Delos! DELOS: I can't! IAN: Put your hands over the oars, he'll kill you! GALLEY MASTER: In, out, in, out, in, out! [SCENE_BREAK] 10: EXT. SEA (Lightning flashes and waves crash onto the nearby shore.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. GALLEY (The GALLEY MASTER, looking upwards out of the hold, is covered with a deluge of water.) GALLEY MASTER: Keep rowing, keep rowing, do you hear! In, out, in, out, in, out! (IAN and DELOS shout at each other over the noise of the storm. Another deluge of water douses the slaves. The Galley suddenly lurches to one side, throwing the GALLEY MASTER off his feet and in amongst the slaves. They immediately attack him. Suddenly a beam crashes down as the ship starts to fall to pieces.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12: EXT. SEA (Outside, the flashing lightening and crashing waves are as severe as ever.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13: EXT. ROME. MARKET PLACE (The DOCTOR and VICKI have arrived at Rome and explore the market. VICKI carries the Lyre.) VICKI: Isn't it wonderful, Doctor! Can we explore? DOCTOR: Oh, I don't see why not, my child. For a while, anyway. Then we must present our credentials so to speak, before night falls. VICKI: You're not planning to visit Nero? DOCTOR: Now now now now, don't tell me what I'm not going to do. I've been invited. I can't disappoint Nero. (There is suddenly a roar from a group of men stood nearby.) VICKI: What's going on over there, Doctor? (On a raised platform, several frightened looking women are being thrown in front of the crowd. The slave auction is about to begin.) VICKI: What is it? DOCTOR: Oh, er, nothing to interest you, my dear. We're going to Rome, come along, don't let us delay. (He leads her away. The second they have gone, BARBARA is the last to be thrust onto the platform, again to a roar of approval from the assembled crowd of men. SEVCHERIA follows her onto the stage and addresses his "customers".) SEVCHERIA: I am delighted, Gentlemen, to see how much you have appreciated today's merchandise. (The crowd roar again.) SEVCHERIA: Let us prove how much so when you begin the bids. (Another roar.) SEVCHERIA: Very well, Gentlemen. (He pulls BARBARA forward.) How many Sesterchia am I bid for this fine female example of the beautiful, hard working, Britannic race? 1st MAN IN MARKET: Five Hundred! SEVCHERIA: Come, come sir! We all enjoy a good joke, but today we are interested in serious offers only. (A MAN grabs at BARBARA'S leg. She kicks him back. The crowd roar and laugh. BARBARA struggles in SEVCHERIA'S arms.) SEVCHERIA: Take note gentlemen, of the fiery spirit. Think about your bids and double it. 2nd MAN IN MARKET: Two thousand Sesterchia! SEVCHERIA: Yes? 1st MAN IN MARKET: Two thousand, five hundred! SEVCHERIA: Nearly a good offer gentleman, but come, you can do better than that! TAVIUS: Ten thousand. (To comments of "What?" and "Who said that?", the crowd turns round and looks at TAVIUS who walks forward. SEVCHERIA bends down to speak to him.) SEVCHERIA: Ten thousand? (TAVIUS smiles. SEVCHERIA stands and turns to BARBARA.) SEVCHERIA: You go to Tavius after all, my dear. (BARBARA looks down grimly at the smiling TAVIUS.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: EXT. BEACH (The storm has now finished and the sea is now calmer. IAN lies face down on a beach. He comes round and sees that he is still chained. He hears a noise, turns over and sees DELOS stood over him, a rock in his hand.) IAN: Oh, Delos DELOS: Now you've come to, we'd better get these off. I've found a couple of rocks. You've er, you've been unconscious a long time, Ian. I was beginning to worry. IAN: What happened? I...I remember the storm. DELOS: Oh, the ship was smashed to pieces and you were struck by some falling timber. IAN: Oh, that's what it was, eh? DELOS: Do you remember when you grabbed the Galley Master? IAN: Yes...yes, I remember that. DELOS: Well, well, I got the key from him and I managed to free us. Except for our wrists. Afterwards I managed to get to here. The ship went down. IAN: You saved my life, Delos. DELOS: Yes, well, lets...lets get on with these, shall we? (IAN places his chain on the ground for DELOS to hit.) DELOS: Ready? IAN: Ready? (DELOS smashes the manacle on IAN'S right hand as he grimaces. After a couple of knocks, DELOS manages to wrench the manacle off.) DELOS: There we are. IAN: Ah, thanks. DELOS: Just one more. I've, er, I've managed to look around. We must be somewhere near Rome. IAN: Yes, we can't be far away. The boat was heading south. Perhaps we were going there. DELOS: Perhaps, You ready? IAN: Yes. (After three strikes, the second manacle is off. They stand.) IAN: Oh! DELOS: There we are. You, er...you feel alright? To travel I mean. We must get away from here. IAN: Yes, yes I feel alright. DELOS: Oh good. I...I think it's better if we stick together. Now if we head north we can... IAN: (Interrupting.) Sorry, Delos. I'm going to Rome. DELOS: Rome, but Ian, you're mad! IAN: You don't have to come. I have a friend who was taken there. I have to find her. DELOS: Rome? [SCENE_BREAK] 15: INT. NERO'S PALACE. CHAMBER (TAVIUS has brought BARBARA to NERO'S palace and is telling her why he was so interested in buying her.) TAVIUS: So you see, young woman, that's the whole story. I saw you with that poor woman slave, and it was then that I realised by the way that you were looking after her, that...I should have to help you. BARBARA: Why I only did what...most people would have done. (She sits.) TAVIUS: Now, now. No, I think not. Most people under such circumstances would have looked after themselves. No, you're kind and considerate. (He puts a hand on her.) BARBARA: (Slightly repulsed.) Thank you. TAVIUS: Unfortunately, I'm not able to give you your freedom. You'll still be a slave, but at least, here in Nero's house, as a...a servant of Poppea, life will be more pleasant than it could have been. BARBARA: (BARBARA smiles slightly.) I'm grateful for what you've done. But I must tell you that I have no intention of staying here. TAVIUS: Escape, you mean? Well, of course, I can't stop you but, er, I think you should consider it very carefully. If you should escape and you're recaptured, it would mean your death. BARBARA: (After a thoughtful pause.) Yes, I know. TAVIUS: I only select and buy the slaves. Fortunately, I'm not answerable for them. (A COURT MESSENGER enters the room.) TAVIUS: Yes? COURT MESSENGER: Maximus Pettulian from Corinth has arrived, sire, and with a small girl. He requests an audience with Caesar Nero. TAVIUS: (Looks thoughtful at this news.) Pettulian? Very well, ask him to come in. COURT MESSENGER: (Bows.) Sire. TAVIUS: Er no, wait. On second thoughts, perhaps it would be better if I came out to see him. COURT MESSENGER: (Bows again.) As you will. (He leaves.) TAVIUS: (To BARBARA.) You'll excuse me. (He holds up a necklace to the face of a very nervous BARBARA.) TAVIUS: I'll, er, instruct you in your duties later. (He leaves. BARBARA examines the necklace.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16: INT. NERO'S PALACE. RECEPTION CHAMBER (The DOCTOR and VICKI wait in a hall of columns.) DOCTOR: I shouldn't think there's a soul in this place that knows me, my dear, so there's no cause for you to worry. VICKI: I'll try not to, Doctor. (TAVIUS enters quietly behind them.) DOCTOR: Oh, it isn't a matter of trying my dear... (TAVIUS hisses to get the DOCTOR'S attention.) DOCTOR: ...if I say, and don't make that funny noise. VICKI: (Looking at TAVIUS over the DOCTOR'S shoulder.) But... DOCTOR: Hmm? What is it? TAVIUS: Maximus Pettulian! VICKI: (To the DOCTOR.) That's you! (The DOCTOR turns and walks over to TAVIUS who looks around him furtively.) DOCTOR: Oh, ha ha, yes yes yes. TAVIUS: I am Tavius. There was trouble, but I settled it. (TAVIUS checks round again to see if they are being overheard.) DOCTOR: What's happened? TAVIUS: He's in the apoditarium. DOCTOR: The apodi-what? TAVIUS: The apoditarium. DOCTOR: Oh really, well done, well done, yes! (The DOCTOR looks round at VICKI in puzzlement. The COURT MESSENGER enters the room and bangs a staff on the floor.) COURT MESSENGER: Caesar Nero, Emperor of all Rome! VICKI: (Excited.) Nero! I'm going to see Nero! (The DOCTOR shushes her. To a fanfare, and followed by a retinue, NERO enters the room. Ornately robed, corpulent, with a laurel wreath, he carries a joint of meat and belches out loud.) DOCTOR: (To VICKI as he bows.) Royal felicitations! VICKI: Oh, strentiatum! NERO: Someone spoke. Did I give permission to speak Tavius, did I give permission? DOCTOR: Caesar Nero, I... NERO: Now he's at it! How am I supposed to compose with all this noise going on? TAVIUS: (Introducing the DOCTOR.) Maximus Pettulian. NERO: Maximu...bu...he's Maximus Pettulian? TAVIUS: Yes... NERO: The Lyre player from Corinth? DOCTOR: (Bows.) In person. NERO: Play. DOCTOR: Hmm? NERO: (With menace.) Play. (The DOCTOR laughs nervously. VICKI looks scared. The DOCTOR takes the Lyre off her.) DOCTOR: With such a great...musician as yourself present, I would take the inspiration from your example sire. (Flattered, NERO takes the Lyre off the DOCTOR and snaps his fingers.) NERO: Oh...a stool. (The COURT MESSENGER places a stool next to the Emperor. He places one foot on it and strums three notes. He looks at the DOCTOR'S Lyre in disgust.) NERO: Oh, this is an inferior instrument, I cannot. (He thrusts the DOCTOR'S Lyre back to him.) Bring the imperial Lyre. DOCTOR: Beautiful, beautiful! Did you not hear that, my child? That instant composition? VICKI: Oh, yes, erm...Maximus. Could you play it? DOCTOR: Me? Well, er, I'll try, that is, er, with Caesar's permission. (NERO waves his approval. The DOCTOR strums the same three notes.) DOCTOR: That is the best I can do, I'm afraid. VICKI: Oh, no, it wasn't as good. NERO: Oh, of course it wasn't. (NERO plays a short tune on the imperial Lyre, smiles and passes it to the DOCTOR.) NERO: Try this one. DOCTOR: (Taking it from him.) That your excellency would be an impossibisil, impossibility. After such exquisite playing...I cannot presume...it would be...out of the question. May I suggest that this instrument goes to your temple? (NERO claps his hands in delight and points a slave to the Lyre.) DOCTOR: (Passing the Lyre over.) To the temple. NERO: And the imperial footstool. Have your, er, eaten, Maximus? (He puts the leg of meat in the DOCTOR'S hand.) DOCTOR: (Unsure what to say at this gift.) Er.. NERO: Tigilinus. (TIGILINUS, a nervous slave, steps forward. NERO wipes his hands on TIGILINUS'S toga.) NERO: We will talk and play together later, Maximus. When you have eaten...and practiced. (NERO and his retinue walk out of the room as the DOCTOR bows.) DOCTOR: (To VICKI.) Well, I must say, I got out of that one rather well, hmm? VICKI: Well, what happens when he asks you to play next time? DOCTOR: Yes. (Suddenly realises what she has said and looks worried.) Hmm? [SCENE_BREAK] 17: EXT. ROME. STREET (NIGHT) (A very bedraggled IAN and DELOS have arrived in Rome. They keep to the shadows.) DELOS: Well, here were are Ian, Rome. Now what? IAN: To tell you the truth, Delos, I hadn't really thought. DELOS: Well, I suggest you start. We don't exactly look like respectable citizens of the capital. IAN: No. Well, first of all lets...er...find somewhere to clean up, eh, and I suppose Barbara must have been sold. We'll make a start there. DELOS: It'll be hopeless. I must, there must... IAN: You don't have to come, Delos. DELOS: I know, I know, but, well lucks been with us so far. Who's to say it won't hold? IAN: Good man, come on! (They run straight into two soldiers who hold swords at their throats.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. NERO'S PALACE. APODITARIUM (The DOCTOR and VICKI have found the room that TAVIUS spoke of. Its walls are curtained.) VICKI: Well, this seems to be the...apoditarium. I wonder what Tavius meant? DOCTOR: Oh, how should I know, my child? I can't for the life of me understand why I agreed to come here. VICKI: 'Cos you're as curious as I am. DOCTOR: Me, curious? Huh! Nonsense. Someone made a mistake. He thought he was talking...with somebody else, I shouldn't wonder. VICKI: Well, we might as well have a look round now we're here. DOCTOR: What? VICKI: Or would you rather we forgot? DOCTOR: No, no, no, no. We may as well look around as you say. Hmm! (The DOCTOR pulls one of the curtains aside. A dead body lies within.) DOCTOR: Strange, very strange! (VICKI runs over and joins him.) VICKI: Oh, Doctor, that's the Centurion who found us and brought us to the house. DOCTOR: I'm quite aware of that, my child, but what does it all mean? What does it all mean? Hmm? [SCENE_BREAK] 19: INT. ROME. CELLS (IAN and DELOS are thrown into a cage. SEVCHERIA looks through the bars at them.) SEVCHERIA: I don't know what all the fuss is about. Your lucky the soldiers brought you to me. IAN: Lucky? That's hardly the word I'd use. SEVCHERIA: Well, you know as well as I do, escaped slaves are put to death automatically. This way at least you'll have a chance of fighting for your freedom. IAN: A chance? How? SEVCHERIA: By putting on a good show in the arena. And hoping Nero's in a benevolent mood. (He and the soldiers walk away. IAN turns to DELOS.) IAN: The arena? DELOS: Well, it sounds as if we're going to be trained as gladiators? IAN: Yes, but to fight what? (They hear a roaring sound from outside the barred window.) IAN: Listen! (IAN rushes to the window. The WOMAN SLAVE who BARBARA helped earlier watches them from the cage next to theirs. Outside the window, IAN sees several cages containing pacing, ravenous Lions. IAN looks at DELOS and walks away from the window with a grim look on his face.)

Landing in Rome, A.D. 64 the travellers take a rare holiday. While Ian and Barbara are happy to relax, the Doctor and Vicki set off to pursue adventure. However, adventure soon finds Ian and Barbara too as they are kidnapped by slave traders, and the Doctor's imitation of Maximus Pettulian sees him taken to the court of Emperor Nero where he inadvertently plays a part in deciding the course of history...

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Teleplay by: Sherry Bilsing & Ellen Plummer Story by: Seth Kurland [Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross their bills.] Joey: Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together that's (pauses to figure the total) $12.75. Chandler: This coming from the man who couldn't split our 80 dollar phone bill in half. (A good-looking woman approaches.) Woman: Hi! Joey: Hi! Woman: How much do I owe you for the muffin and the latte? Joey: Oh that's on the house courtesy of Joey Tribbiani. Woman: Oh great! Well, tell him thanks. And since uh, Joey seems like such a nice guy, maybe we could go on a date sometime? Joey: Well, he's not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with him-He says it's okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye! Ross: Hey Joey, how come our stuff isn't free? Joey: It will be when you look like that in a tight skirt! This is great! I'm getting more dates than ever! Rachel: Wait a minute, you're only giving free stuff away to the pretty girls? Phoebe: Yeah Joey that is so gross! Joey: How about a scone on the house baby? Phoebe: (giggles) I'm pretty. Opening Credits [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone but Monica is there playing Monopoly.] Ross: Hey does anyone have any gum? Phoebe: Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, y'know what? No. (Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming in it.) I know it's in here somewhere. Ross: Y'know what? I'm good! I'm good! Monica: (entering) Hey! Ross: Hey! Chandler: Hey, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work? Monica: (congested) Ugh, they sent me home. They said I can't work if I'm sick. All: Ohh! Chandler: I'm so sorry you're sick. Monica: I'm not sick!! I don't get sick! Getting sick is for weaklings and for pansies! Rachel: Honey, no one thinks you're a pansy, but we do think you need a tissue. (She notices something hanging from Monica's nose, as does Joey.) Monica: (wiping her nose) I have not been sick in over three years! (Sneezes.) Chandler: I'm gonna grab you some tissue. Monica: I don't need a tissue! I'm fine-d! Ross: When you put a 'D' at the end of 'Fine' you're not fine. Monica: I'm fine-d. I'm fine-d! Y'know, it's a really hard word to say. (There's a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.) Chandler: Yes? (A woman enters.) Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? I'm her sister. Rachel: Oh my God, Jill! Jill: Oh my God, Rachel! (They run and hug each other.) Chandler: Oh my God, introduce us! Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.) Jill: Hi! Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross! Ross: Hi Jill. Rachel: And that's Phoebe (points), and that's Joey. Joey: Hey, (in the Joey voice) how you doin'? Rachel: Don't!! (Joey backs away frightened.) (To Jill) Honey, what are you doing here?! Phoebe: (To Ross) Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or that's bitter? Jill: (To Rachel) Daddy cut me off. Phoebe: Never mind, I got it. Jill: And y'know what I said to him? "I'm gonna hire a lawyer and I'm gonna sue you and take all your money. Then I'm gonna cut you off!" Rachel: Wow! What did he say? Jill: That he wouldn't pay for my lawyer! Then he told me to come here and learn about the value of money from the one daughter he's actually proud off. Rachel: Oh! Did you hear that?! My dad's proud of me! My dad's proud of me. Monica: Rach? (Points to Jill.) Rachel: Oh yeah, sorry. Wait honey, so what did you do that made dad cut you off? Jill: Okay, I bought a boat. Monica: You bought a boat? Jill: Yeah but it wasn't for me, it was for a friend. Chandler: Boy did we make friends with the wrong sister! (Rachel glares at him.) Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that could've ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! I'm the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna get a job, you're gonna get an apartment, and then I'll help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us? Phoebe: Of course, yeah! Jill: Oh, that's so great! Okay, I'm really gonna do this! I don't know how to thank you guys. Phoebe: Ooh, I like cards. [Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.] Joey: (to a customer) Are you all finished here? Customer: Yes. Joey: Great! (Joey takes his cookie and finishes it.) Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars. Joey: What?! Gunther: For all the free food you gave away. Joey: Well if it's free food, how come you're charging me for it? Gunther: We don't give anything away unless it's someone's birthday. Joey: Well, what if they came in third in a modeling contest? Gunther: No! Joey: (to a woman who came in third in a modeling contest) Sorry! (He grabs her muffin away and returns it to the serving tray.) Jill: (entering, carrying a bunch of shopping bags) I just had the hardest day. Those bags are so heavy. (Sets them down.) Ross: Jill, how did you pay for all this? I thought your dad took away your credit card. Jill: Oh please, I memorized those numbers when I was 15. But look at all the cool make-it-on-my-own stuff I got! (Holds up a red sweater) This is my "Please, hire me" sweater. (Holds up a pair of black pants) And these are my, "Don't you want to rent me this apartment?" pants. Ross: I don't think charging new clothes too your dad qualifies as making it on your own. Jill: Oh, Mr. Scientist has to get all technical! Phoebe: Seriously, I don't Rachel's gonna think it's a good idea. Jill: So who made her queen of the world? Phoebe: I would love that job! Rachel: (entering) Hey! What's goin' on? Jill: Hey! Rachel: (notices Jill's bags) Jill! Did you shop?! Jill: No! They did! (Points to Phoebe and Ross) Phoebe and Ross: Yeah, we went shopping! Rachel: You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it right under Jill's nose when you know she's trying to quit. Wow, you guys are terrible! Phoebe: Sorry Jill. Ross: Sorry-sorry Jill. Rachel: What'd you get? Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this y'know "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.) Rachel: Oh. Phoebe: And, and then I got uh, these are apartment pants. Rachel: Apartment pants? Phoebe: Yeah, you never heard of them? Rachel: No, of course, of course I've heard of them! Ross, what did you get? Ross: Huh? Oh, I got this-(Holds up this pink frilly thing)-this! Rachel: A pajmena? Ross: Yeah! Oh, I-I love this babies! Rachel: Really? Ross: Ross, wants a pajmena? Ross: It's a rug. (Jill winces.) Rachel: Jill? Jill: (covers her eyes and starts crying) I'm sorry Rachel, I'm sorry... Rachel: Oh, come on! You think that's gonna work on me?! I invented that! Jill: Right! But, I am sorry. Rachel: All right, it's okay. One little setback is okay, just don't let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But I'm just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Y'know what, I'm just gonna take it all away, 'cause that way you'll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, I'm gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jill's stuff.) Jill: She took all my stuff. Ross: Yeah. Everything but, the little blue one. (Holds it up for her.) Jill: (gasps) That's the best one! Oh my God, (hugs him) thank you so much! Ross: Well. Hey... Jill: Oh my gosh, that was so lame. Like a pajmena could be a rug! Ross: Oh yeah, how about you and the, (mimics her fake cry) "I'm sorry!" Jill: (hits him) Shut up! I did not sound like that at all! Phoebe: What about, what about when I said y'know about the apartment pants, how dumb was I? (They both look at her.) Jill: Were you this cute in high school? Ross: Oh stop. Jill: No you stop! Ross: No, you stop! Jill: You stop! Phoebe: (gets up and sits between them) Okay-okay, why don't I sit here and you'll both stop it! [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still very sick and is entering the living room from the bathroom wearing a robe. Chandler is reading a magazine.] Monica: Okay, so what do you, what do you want to do? Let's do something crazy! Chandler: I know, let's rest and drink lots of fluids. (Holds up a glass of orange juice.) Monica: Okay, I'll rest. But y'know if I'm going to bed, then you're coming with me. Chandler: That would be impossible to resist if you weren't all drippy here. (Points to his nose.) Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you don't wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesn't work all that well with the big robe.) Chandler: Yeah, I don't you should say that even when you're healthy. Monica: (in a sexy voice) Come on. (Coughs loudly.) Chandler: Don't take this personally okay? It's just that I just can't have s*x with a sick person. Monica: I'm with you Chandler! I mean I can't have s*x with a sick person either, that's disgusting! But I'm not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe. Chandler: That's the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe. [Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is putting away her new clothes as Phoebe enters.] Rachel: Hey! Phoebe: Hey. Rachel: What's up?! Phoebe: Umm, I think there's something you should maybe know. Rachel: Well, it'd better not be about the apartment pants, because I just pitched the idea to my boss at Ralph Lauren and she loved it. Phoebe: No. No. It's just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, I'm pretty sure I saw a little spark between them. Rachel: What?! Phoebe: Yeah I mean it's probably nothing, but I just wanted to warn you that there might be something there. Rachel: With Ross and Jill? Phoebe: Yeah! Rachel: With Ross and my sister? Phoebe: Yeah. Rachel: With my sister Jill and my ex-boyfriend Ross? Phoebe: Yeah. Rachel: Oh there is no way. Phoebe: Okay then. Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I don't really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isn't that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and they're gonna have s*x! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I can't stop it! I can't-I don't own Ross! Y'know? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I can't believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me. Phoebe: But great news about the apartment pants, huh? [Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving the bill to the same beautiful woman from before.] Joey: That'll be $3.85. Woman: What do you mean? Yesterday you said I was too pretty to pay for stuff! Joey: It's just I can't because my manager said I... (Gets an idea) (Starts singing) "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Annie... Woman: Amy! Joey: (still singing) "...Amy! Happy birthday to you!" A Male Customer: Hey, that's weird, today's my birthday too! Joey: Yeah, not it here it isn't. Jill: (entering) Sorry I'm late, what's up? Rachel: (on the couch) Oh hi! Y'know, I just wanted to see if there were any leads on the old job front. Jill: Oh no! But I just walked past three sales and I didn't go in. How strong am I? Rachel: That is great. Hey, y'know who doesn't have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university. Jill: Yeah. Rachel: Oh so you know that, you guys talked about that, so you get along, so you think you're gonna go out? Jill: Me go out with Ross?! No! God no! What would make you think that? Rachel: I just, Phoebe, said y'know thought she saw something between you guys. Jill: No! I mean he's nice. Rachel: Yeah. Jill: He's the kind of guy you're friends with, y'know? But he's not the kind of guy you date. He's the kind of guy you'd date because you did. Me, not so much. Rachel: Oh not-not so much. Umm, what-what do you, what do you mean is there something wrong with Ross? Jill: Oh no-no-no, he's just I don't know, he's just a little bookish. Rachel: Are-are you saying he's a geek? Jill: You think so too? Rachel: No! No I, no Ross is not a geek! Jill: Fine, then let's just say he's not my type. Rachel: What handsome is not your type? Smart? Kind? Good kisser? What those things aren't on your list? Ross is a great guy! You would be lucky to be with him! Jill: Well okay, if it means that much to you, then I'll ask him out. Rachel: Oh no-no-no, no-no-no, that's not what I meant. Jill: No! Y'know what Rachel? You're right, y'know he has been really nice to me. Rachel: Yeah but, he's not your type. Jill: Yeah but maybe that's a good thing. Y'know I'm doing all these different sorts of things, and maybe I should try dating a geek too! Rachel: Yeah but, you don't, you don't, you don't want to try to much too fast. Y'know? I mean, you do remember what happened to the little girl that tried to much too fast don't you? Jill: What? Rachel: She-she died Jill. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has fallen asleep reading a book. Monica calls from the bedroom and wakes him up.] Monica: (still sick) Chandler! Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least she's trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh! Monica: (trying to be seductive) Calling Dr. Big, Dr. Big to the bed. Chandler: Oh Jeez honey, I thought, I thought you were asleep. Monica: How could I be asleep knowing that you were in the next room. Chandler: I was asleep. (She takes off her robe and starts to shiver) Oh no! No-no honey! Y'know what's sexy? Layers. Layers are sexy. And blankets are sexy. And oh! Hot water bottles are sexy. Monica: Come on, get into bed! I want to prove to you that I'm not sick! I wanna make you feel, as good as I feel. (Sneezes.) Chandler: Would you please get some rest! Monica: I'm fine. (She goes into one of those half sneezing, half-coughing fits that you get with a bad cold or flu.) [Scene: Central Perk, Joey is singing Happy Birthday to yet another good-looking woman. Gunther is watching and is not very happy.] Joey: (singing) "Happy birthday to you!" Gunther: You're paying for that. Joey: What? No-no it's her birthday! Gunther: You've sung Happy Birthday to 20 different women today! Joey: But it really... Gunther: You are no longer authorized to distribute birthday muffins. Joey: Damnit! (Storms off.) Ross: (entering) Rach? Hi! Rachel: Hi! Ross: Did you tell your sister to ask me out? Rachel: Well yeah... Ross: Oh wow! I mean, wow! I mean, I-I-I think she's cute but I-I would never have thought of going out with her, never! Rachel: Really?! Ross: Yeah but after you said it was okay, I figured, "Why not?!" Rachel: Oh so-so not really never. Ross: I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all we've been through, I just-y'know I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing. Joey: (overhearing them) Oh-ho, and mine! [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler who's on the couch reading.] Monica: (entering) Chandler, I think I'm sick. Chandler: Really? Struck down in the pribe of libe! Monica: Okay, fine I admit it! I feel terrible! Would you please rub this on my chest? (She hands him some of that Vicks Vap-O-Rub to put on.) Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no, you are not getting me this way. Monica: Come on! I really need your help! Chandler: No-no-no-no-no! Monica: Fine, I'll rub it on myself. Chandler: Okay. (To start this task, she lowers the top of her robe to reveal that she is naked from the waist up, well at least her back is, and starts to rub on the gunk. Chandler notices this, and has something start happening. I'll let you fill in the blank here.) Chandler: So you're just, kinda rubbing it on yourself? Monica: Yeah? Chandler: It's nice. Monica: Are you kidding me?! Is this; is this turning you on? Chandler: Yes! (Hangs his head in shame.) Monica: I can't believe it! What is it? Is it the rubbing or the smell? Chandler: It's all very, very good. (She covers up and sits down.) So you wanna go uh, mix it up? Monica: Not now, I'm sick! Chandler: Oh come on you big faker! Monica: What happened to your rule about never sleeping with sick people? Chandler: Well that was before all the vaporizing action. Monica: Okay, if you really wanna have s*x... Chandler: Okay! (Runs into the bedroom.) Monica: Worked like a charm. [Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Jill enters to start her date with Ross.] Jill: (entering) Hi! Rachel: Hi! Wh-what are you doing here? Jill: This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think? (She spins to show Rachel the outfit she's wearing.) Rachel: Well, I-I don't like it. Jill: Really?! Rachel: It's kinda slutty. Jill: It's yours! Rachel: Yeah well, I'm-I'm a slut. Jill: (laughs) Me too. Ross: (entering) Hi Jill! Jill: Hey! Ross: Hi (sees Rachel and forgets her name for a moment). Rachel: Rachel. Ross: Rachel! Well, you-you're not at home, you're-you're-you're right here. Rachel: Yeah I know, and I bet you thought it would be weird. But it's not! (There's an awkward silence.) Ross: Okay. So well I'll umm, (To Rachel) I'll have her home by midnight. (Rachel laughs a little too hard as Ross and Jill leave for their date. After they have left, Rachel starts to break down.) [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Ross's apartment. We see that Ross's apartment is empty.] Rachel: Why aren't you home yet?! Monica: (calling from the bathroom) Is someone there? Rachel: Oh yes, it's me! Sorry! Chandler: (calling from the bathroom) What are you doing here? Rachel: Uh, I'm just, I'm just looking out your window. At-at the view. What are you guys doing? Chandler: We got some Vap-O-Rub in some places. (We see that Ross is returning to his apartment with Jill.) Rachel: (gasps) Oh, he brought her back to his apartment. Monica: (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Ross's apartment) Is that your sister? Rachel: Ugh, she is a slut! Monica: God, Ross is on a date with your sister! How weird is that?! Rachel: Oh my God, look-look he's taking off her clothes! Chandler: He's taking off her coat! (We see that Ross is taking off Jill's coat.) Rachel: Oh, this is just terrible. Monica: Oh no it's not, no it's not. It's a first date. I'm sure that nothing is gonna...(as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.) Rachel: Oh. (Squeaks again.) Chandler: Ho-oh, he's gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Y'know so umm, he's closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, I'm off to bed! (Goes to bed.) To Be Continued Ending Credits (There is no credits scene, just a preview of the next couple of episodes.)

Joey uses his position as waiter to give all the pretty female customers free things at the coffee house, but quickly gets in trouble with Gunther. Monica refuses to admit she is sick when she gets a bad cold. Rachel's sister Jill ( Reese Witherspoon ) shows up after their father financially cuts her off, and she now has to make it on her own.

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"(Continuing from last week's episode. Badenweiler. Dixon stands, Sydney kneels in the bushes, stari(...TRUNCATED)

"Sydney becomes convinced that her father was responsible for the death of her mother, Laura Bristow(...TRUNCATED)

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"ACT ONE Scene One - KACL Frasier has just finished his show. Roz comes in from her booth. Frasier: (...TRUNCATED)

"Roz wins a free trip to a ski lodge, including lessons from a skiing instructor, but is talked into(...TRUNCATED)

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"Scene: The comic book store. Raj enters carrying an iPod with a speaker on his tee shirt. As he ent(...TRUNCATED)

"Sheldon tries to meet Stan Lee at a comic book signing, but is stymied by having to appear in court(...TRUNCATED)

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"\"The Bodies in the Book\" [SCENE_BREAK] TEASER (Open with the rustling of sheets and chuckling fol(...TRUNCATED)

"Three separate bodies are found murdered exactly the way Brennan wrote them in her new book. Howeve(...TRUNCATED)